

### The Human Soul:

### The 'Facade' Self

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller)

Published by

Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered on 5th November 2011 in Murgon, Australia by Jesus (also known as AJ Miller) as part of the Human Soul series, focusing on the facade self. The facade self is a layer that we create and place around our damaged self, which our parents created, and our true selves, which God created. Breaking down the façade self is essential for having a close personal relationship with God and our long-term happiness.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

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### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

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### Table of Contents

The Facade Self: Part 1

1. Introduction

2. The three selves: the real self, the damaged self and the facade self

2.1. Truth breaks through the hard shell of the facade self

3. Reasons for wanting to avoid the damaged self

3.1. Fears of the damaged self

3.2. Belief systems about our emotional pain

3.3. Fears of going crazy

3.4. It's possible to release some areas of the facade self but not others

3.5. God created the real self perfectly

3.6. Fears of the damaged self (continued)

3.7. Discovering who we truly are

3.8. Releasing false beliefs is necessary to break down the facade

4. The facade self

4.1. We need to feel to heal

4.2. The fear-pain scale

4.3. Facing the pain that we have caused others

4.4. Maintaining the facade can create confusion

5. The three selves continued

5.1. The real self knows no fear

5.1.1. The example of having a fear of being raped

5.2. The Law of Attraction works on all three selves

5.3. The importance of will for breaking down the facade

5.4. Feeling afraid of the real self

6. Always act upon loving desires, but feel and don't act upon unloving desires

6.1. Holding on to unloving desires and emotions

7. Prioritise working through issues relating to God first, then our souls, then others

### The Facade Self: Part 2

8. Fears surrounding discovery of the real self

8.1. How to develop a desire to discover the real self - trust and faith in God

8.2. Spirits in the 6th sphere on the Natural Love Path are in facade

8.3. Society's view of "normal" emotions

8.3.1. The example of politics

8.3.2. The example of religion

9. Qualities that are needed to confront the facade self

9.1. We need integrity to choose to not live in our addictions

9.1.1. An example of sexually projecting at women

9.1.2. We have love of self when we don't meet our own addictions

9.2. A desire for truth

9.2.1. Our actions indicate the sincerity of our desires

9.2.2. We need to discover personal truth as well as God's Truth

9.2.3. Personal honesty

9.3. We need to break down the facade before we truly desire God's Love

9.4. A desire for personal growth

9.5. Dedication and perseverance

9.5.1. A desire to explore and experiment

9.6. A willingness to feel out of control, let go of judgement and be humiliated are parts of letting go of the facade

10. Reasons for lack of trust in God

10.1. We are afraid of confronting our addictions and other people

10.2. Investment in our own and other people's opinions of us

11. Fears about not being loved

12. Qualities that are needed to confront the facade self (continued)

12.1. Using our will in the right direction

12.2. Compassion for our emotional damage

12.3. Lack of will vs. lack of courage

13. Closing Words

The Facade Self: Part 1

1. Introduction

Now, the spirit energy today is pretty heavy, as you've probably already noticed. So what we'd like to do for a moment, before we begin, is to just have a prayer to God to look after us and help us to be open today to the material, to help us to be open to our emotions so that the spirits can't influence us very much with regard to hearing things. If you could just do that for a moment! I would like to clear away some of that heaviness that we've brought along with us today. [00:01:09.14]

There has been quite a lot of pretty heavy spirit influence on many of you; I know that and it's understandable given many of you are attempting to progress. Many of the spirits around you don't want you to progress so that's a good sign that you've gotten out of the addiction and out of the bribery, and now you are getting blackmailed a bit. That's usually a good indication that things are actually improving with regard to your spirit interaction. [00:01:47.02]

Today's talk is part of the human soul series of talks and the subject of the talk that I've chosen today is, "The Facade Self".

2. The three selves: the real self, the damaged self and the facade self

This is an extension of a talk that Mary and I gave in Melbourne earlier in the year, where we introduced the three selves. There was the facade self, then the damaged self and then there was the pure self or the real self. And remember we said that God created the real self, your parents and the environment created the damaged self and you created the facade.

And what we notice happening is that many people are having a lot of difficulty with the facade. In fact generally, once you've dealt with the facade, it is actually very easy to feel your damaged self. It's very easy to feel it, and also to release it as well. And the difficulties that we have facing the damaged self or releasing the emotions of damage that have been done by the environment are almost all because we still have the facade in play in some way. So what I'd like to do today is talk to you about this facade self in more detail to give you a bit of assistance in terms of how to break through the facade and get to the real selves, if you like, the real self and also the damaged self.

Now you could think of the human soul in a way as a bit like an egg. The core or the yolk of the egg is your real self, the self that God created. And then you could think of the albumin that the yolk exists in as the damaged self. And then you could think of the shell of the egg, right the way around the outside which isn't very thick but is quite hard and brittle. If you think about that, you could call that the facade self.

The real self is all soft and squishy in that it doesn't have a large amount of resistance, it doesn't have a large amount of anger, it doesn't try to reject things and push things away, and it's not rebellious. It just goes with the flow. And the damaged self, interestingly enough, is often very similar to that. It's also quite squishy in the sense that it's quite easy to actually feel the emotions of the damaged self once you get through the facade. But the facade self is like the shell of an egg, and the shell of an egg is pretty hard. In fact if you squeeze the egg in a certain direction, it's impossible for the majority of people to break that egg. If you squeeze the egg lengthways, and you really push down on it, it's very, very hard for it to break. And it's only when there's a crack in the shell under that circumstance when you're pushing down on the ends, trying to force the egg into breaking that it actually breaks apart. [00:06:35.24]

2.1. Truth breaks through the hard shell of the facade self

But there's another way that you can break the egg, isn't there? Rather than trying to break it on the ends by pushing or squeezing it, or putting it under pressure, you can just go along and tap the side of the egg on something that's hard. And the egg now has a crack and the shell is automatically easy to break. And we can just reach our fingers there and crack it apart. Something that before would have taken huge amounts of force to break can now be broken quite simply. So we need to find what the shell cracker for our facade self is. And that is truth. But it's not the forcing of truth, rather just the tap of truth, if you like.

The three selves can be likened to an egg, with the hard facade self shell only being broken by truth

A lot of times we're trying to force ourselves to get from one condition to another, and that's called the Natural Love Path. Many of us are still on it because we're trying to force ourselves to get from one condition to another. So in other words, we look at ourselves, which is often the facade self looking at the damaged self, and we say, "I don't like that particular thing that you are." In other words, because we judge it as not being worthy of us or not being something we want or something that looks good to others, we then go into this place where we are using our facade to judge the damaged self and in fact not allowing truth to ever enter us. And this is what we'd like to speak about today; what we do with our facade. [00:08:59.05]

Now I've mentioned that truth is the shell cracker, the thing that just puts holes in the edge of the shell and can help us take the shell away. Truth is like this shell cracker that we can now use to punch into our damaged self. We can now access our damaged self. The problem for the majority of us is that we do not want to access our damaged self. We have huge resistance to accessing our damaged self. What are the reasons for the resistance, do you think? What are the main reasons we resist finding and feeling this part of ourselves? [00:10:22.01]

3. Reasons for wanting to avoid the damaged self

3.1. Fears of the damaged self

Participant: I found it to be fear of what's actually damaged in me. I've gotten quite terrified and the facade stops you from seeing it.

So why would you be afraid of the damage? What things cause you to be afraid of the damage?

Participant: Just the fear of how big it might be.

So it's a fear of the size of the error? Its scope, shall we call it? The scope of error!

Participant: And that you won't survive it. It's too big.

Right! The scope of the error doesn't really matter, does it? It's our belief that we cannot survive if we feel it. So that's one thing that causes our resistance. [00:11:35.03]

Participant: The fear of feeling powerless.

When you say the fear of feeling powerless, can you elaborate more in terms of what...?

Participant: The damage feels so deeply hurt and the feeling, the child's feeling completely powerless.

But when you say a fear of feeling powerless, can you see that there's got to be something underneath that? Why are you afraid of powerlessness? What causes us to be afraid of the feeling of powerlessness? Can you see how there's layers of what's going on for us and many of us will say, " I'm afraid of being powerless," but we're not actually looking at why we are afraid of being powerless. There's got to be a reason why. What would be a reason why? [00:12:32.29]

Participant: Being hurt again.

Okay. So that's the real issue, isn't it? It's not a fear of powerlessness so much as fear of getting hurt another time in a similar way to how you got hurt the last time. So, being hurt again! [00:13:00.21]

Participant: It actually destroys the illusion that I've built up of who I think I am.

Yes.

Participant: And then having to face the reality of not being that but being something completely different.

Yes. It's our investment in holding onto the illusion. We have a reason why we want to hold onto the illusion. So, can we call this an investment in the facade? And this is something we want to talk about in more detail as we go along. We'll talk about the investment that we have in the facade.

Any other primary fears that we have?

Participant: Just going to the major hole, like when you feel it, you just feel like there's going to be a hole and one of the reasons I don't really like to feel my damaged self is that I don't have much faith. I feel that awful feeling it's just going to be like a big chunk of me, like my heart is going to get ripped out and nothing's going to replace it. I have no faith that the massive void is going to be filled with love again.

So can I summarise that as, "I believe my damaged self is my real self"?

Participant: Yeah and I feel like there's not much faith. Like there's no way that I can possibly survive this, and if anything it's going to make it worse.

Yeah, let's look at this belief we have that the damaged self is the real self. If the damaged self is the real self and you take away the damaged self, who have you got left? [00:14:58.05]

Participant: I feel this horrible feeling I'm going to be left with an empty mess in my soul and it's just going to leave me exposed and yuck. For me sort of like a lack of faith maybe - I don't like to look into my damaged self because I feel it's not going to repair or something. [00:15:19.17]

We'll talk about a lack of faith in a minute. But I feel it's really this belief that the damaged self is the real self that causes us a lot of trouble, and we need to focus on that for a moment. [00:15:38.14]

Participant: I was just going to say fear of the grief.

We're afraid of how much grief we actually have, we're afraid of how much hurt we actually have, of the hurt itself. So we're afraid of the hurt itself. [00:16:08.12]

Participant: A fear of what other people might think.

Yes. So what would you call that? A fear of the image being tarnished, and it's a fear of judgement, as somebody else mentioned over there. When we say it's a fear, why would we be afraid of what other people think of us? Why do you feel we would be afraid of that? Because it's just a thought, it's nothing more than a thought.

What I'm trying to do with these fears that you're listing, is to help you see that we often say the words of a specific fear without really giving it much consideration. We don't really give it much consideration. We say, "Oh I feel powerless," and we don't go, "Actually why do I feel powerless? And why is powerless a bad emotion to feel anyway? Why do I feel it's such a bad emotion to feel? It's just an emotion. And it's like any other emotion. Why do I then make it important? What's going on for me?" We don't often consider it to that depth. We just go, "I feel powerless, and you're making me feel powerless". We often get angry with the person who caused me to feel powerless and in the end we're not really addressing the underlying issue. So what we need to do is be really specific here with regard the fear. [00:17:53.04]

Participant: A fear of punishment.

Yeah, so can you see that a lot of it is related to the potential of pain? And see, in our childhoods we have often had a lot of pain; not just emotional pain but also physical pain. It's very rare to find a person, particularly above 20-30 years of age, who has not been spanked or harmed in some way like that from their parents. Many of us as parents have done it to our own children. It's very rare to actually find a person who has not been on the receiving end of parental violence. And therefore we have all this fear of physical pain associated with that. And we do a lot to prevent pain. We do far too much in fact to prevent pain. [00:19:00.23]

Participant: I personally don't like what I see when I look at my damaged self, so if I drop the facade I think, "How can anybody else love me?"

Yes. A very good question! A lot of times there is this issue of, "Will I be loved?" And inside us the answer to that question is generally, "I definitely will not be". So we have automatically made that judgement ourselves, that we will definitely not be loved if we access that self. [00:19:41.15]

Fears that we have that cause us to avoid our damaged self

Participant: Perhaps a facade is like a mask that we've been wearing for a long, long time.

It's definitely a mask. Yep.

Participant: And it feels comfortable in there. I don't know who I am but there's a great fear of losing that mask, not knowing who I am.

Can you see how a lot of our reasoning is not very logical though? Let's say you're home by yourself, is it more comfortable wearing clothes or not wearing clothes? Isn't it generally more comfortable not wearing clothes? Now of course when somebody else walks in the door then you've got a lot of emotional discomfort that you have to work your way through, but what I'm saying is that every time we put something on us, from a physical perspective our discomfort level usually rises. So if all of you rocked up today with a big snowsuit on, and its 30 degrees outside, you would already be uncomfortable, would you not? And yet for most of us we've got a great big snowsuit on that we're carrying around emotionally. And so then we say that that's safe, when the reality is that we're sweating like a pig inside of it, and we can't stand the thing on us, but we just don't want to deal with it.

You see a lot of times, when we say we like the mask, we're not being very logical about the mask. We're not being logical about the amount of weight that we're carrying around with us in carrying around this mask. This is the hard part of the egg and the rest of the egg's just going to flow if we let the hard part go, but we want the hard part and this is our problem. We want this hard part to remain intact so that we don't have to access the rest. And we use a lot of intellectual reasoning, which isn't very logical, in order to maintain the facade. And this is also what we want to address today.

3.2. Belief systems about our emotional pain

Participant: I think this is before I get to the fear, and it's the anger. [00:22:02.14]

Yep. That's very good.

Participant: And I found that because I have started to see a bit of the damaged self I get really angry and I'm afraid of that anger because of the degree of anger that I'm going to. There's still a lot more there, and I've passed this on to my own daughter so I feel like if I'm this angry with my mother, she's going to be this angry with me and it makes me afraid to feel that anger. [00:22:42.16]

But why do you have the anger in the first place, Laurleen?

Participant: Because I don't want to feel that hurt.

You don't want to feel that pain?

Participant: Yeah.

Is that the reason why you feel you have it?

Participant: Well when I found out things I've gotten really angry because I feel it's unjust, it's unfair and all of this.

Yeah, see I put to you that actually it's not necessarily our unwillingness to feel the pain that causes our anger, but rather our belief systems about the pain that cause our anger. Can everyone see the difference between those two things? You see, most of us in our day-to-day life cope with a certain degree of pain already. How many of you feel a physical feeling of pain right at the moment while you're sitting down? And aren't you coping with it? Aren't you already dealing with it? You're still here, you're still functioning, you're still doing things in your day-to-day life and in fact many of us cope with quite high levels of pain in our day-to-day life, so we're not afraid of it.

If we were afraid of it, we'd be going to the doctor like a hypochondriac every second minute to try to fix it up, wouldn't we? So the reality is that we generally have quite a good understanding that most of us live in a state of pain, particularly physical pain, and quite a lot. Now, from an emotional pain perspective, how many of you feel that you have emotional pain right now? That you can feel inside of you? So we're living with that emotional pain right now. The reality is that we have the pain and the reality is also that we can feel it right now. We're not afraid of feeling that level of pain, so what is the issue with regard to pain? Is it to do with the fact that we have it or is there something else? It can't be to do with the fact that we have it, can it? Because we all recognise that we have it. It's got to be something else. So what is the issue we have with pain? [00:25:16.06]

Participant: We want to be able to manage our pain.

This is our problem. You see it's our belief about the management or, if we use another word that many of you are used to using, the level of control that you want over your pain. Everyone has a different level of control they want over their pain. Why do we want to have things at a certain level of control? What happens to us when we seem like we go out of control. What's the feeling we feel then? [00:26:26.25]

3.3. Fears of going crazy

Participant: That I'm going crazy.

Okay, so we're talking about psychological issues now. The issue of, "Am I crazy?" is a big part of why we want control, because as soon as we feel the pain to a level that we need to experience, it looks like we're now out of control and it's not just the judgement of the world we're worried about in that place. What we're worried about is more our own judgement of ourselves. "Am I losing my mind now?" is where we often go and that's a pretty difficult place to face, is it not, the fact that you might be losing your mind at any one point in time? There's a lot of fear in that and therefore desire to manage and control. And when the management and control systems fail then rage puts them back in place. We're using our anger to put the management and control systems we have back in place to make them dominant again, so that we cannot feel that we're crazy or feel that other people think we're crazy. [00:27:55.22]

Participant: AJ, is craziness an overwhelming fear?

It can be overwhelming feeling of a number of different emotions, not just fear. Obviously the feeling "Am I crazy?" comes from fear, but we can often be overwhelmed in all sorts of ways that can cause us to feel that we're crazy. You can actually be overwhelmed with pleasure and then think you're crazy as well. It's not just a matter of your fear that causes you to feel those things.

But this fear of the state of being crazy is an issue we need to deal with. Again it's a belief that we have in our soul, an emotion that we have in our soul that the feeling of crazy is something that I must avoid at all costs. And this is also why when somebody else tells you you're crazy they can get control of you very easily. "You're just a crazy idiot." Once they say that to you, with the level of fear that we have about that state, we will then do almost anything they want in order to prove that we're not crazy. This in itself is a crazy thing to do. It's strange how we do these things. [00:29:30.15]

Participant: Which then brings me to being crazy is not normal, it's out of the box, it's not conforming to society and how everybody else is. Like even being here, I have family that think I'm crazy. [00:29:44.25]

Exactly! It's not normal.

Participant: So it's different, it's not what everyone else thinks or believes en masse.

Yeah. We had some interesting emails that Mary just talked about with me - I haven't seen them yet, but Mary read them this morning and she said one of them was a lady who heard about myself and Mary and then just said, "What crazy nutters!" This couple actually have a holiday house out near our house, and as they were driving out they were commenting to each other how crazy we were. And while they were driving the woman got quite derogatory about it to her husband, not to anyone else, in terms of how crazy we were. And she was relating this to us in this email. And he eventually says, "Actually, darling, you're not being very nice right at the moment." He reminded her that she wasn't being very nice and then because she felt that, that she wasn't being very nice, she decided to get on the internet and have a look at some of the YouTube presentations and then once she did that, she realised that perhaps what we were saying at least wasn't as crazy as what she thought it would be, and she actually sent us an email thanking us for putting the information on YouTube.

We had another fellow who emailed us again today interestingly, who went through a very similar thing. He said basically his original feelings were that Mary and I must be crazy, and he was willing to completely attack us with other people as a result of that. But then he got on YouTube as well, and watched a couple of presentations. And then he said, "So now I can't work out whether you're crazy or not. I can't say that you're crazy because what you're saying makes a lot of sense and not only makes a lot of sense, but you don't seem to be a crazy person." And now he's wondering whether he's crazy believing me! (Laughter) I thought that was a lovely email.

And this is where it gets back to this feeling we have that whenever we do something that's just out of the ordinary, something that society or particularly family cannot particularly accept us doing, we're generally automatically viewed as crazy. This is a very strong method that the world and our families use to get us to conform into what doesn't scare them anymore. It gets us to not make them afraid anymore. So if we do what they define as not crazy, then they don't have to feel any of those feelings or emotions. But if we start doing something that they define as crazy, now they start questioning, "What have I done wrong? I must be a bad mother or father or sister or brother or something." They go down this track of actually starting to blame themselves but underneath all of that is an emotion of wanting to avoid their own feelings of being crazy. [00:33:30.19]

3.4. It's possible to release some areas of the facade self but not others

Participant: I was just wondering if it's possible to let go of the facade in some areas but not other areas.

Definitely! It's definitely possible, yeah. And usually highly likely, because the areas where we have more damage that we don't like or damage that we judge, are going to be the areas where we're less likely to let go of the facade.

For example, if you have an emotion where you feel that your mum and dad spanked you, and you felt the pain from it, and you felt like you were disapproved of in that moment, and you felt like you could accept that emotionally, then there's a high likelihood you'll let go of the facade that mum and dad didn't damage you. And by doing that you'll actually get into the truth, which is mum and dad did spank you and therefore perpetrate violence towards you, and you'll cry through those emotions and release them. However, on the other hand, if you have done damage to other people you may have huge amounts of judgement about that and therefore less inclination to feel the damaged reason why you did it and therefore a stronger reason to hold onto the facade. And this is why the majority of us hold onto facades. We hold onto facades not because of the damage that was done to us, but rather because of the damage we've done to others that we don't want to face. That's one main reason why we hold on to facade and it's generally in those areas that we want to hold onto facades the longest. [00:35:18.27]

Okay. So the anger is an issue too, isn't it? That's a part of this hard shell. The anger is all about maintaining the façade; maintaining the state where you don't have to come face to face with your true self.

3.5. God created the real self perfectly

Now, who created the real self? God! So therefore everything in it is perfect. There's a part inside you at the moment that is your real self that God created, the personality and everything; every part of that real self of yours is perfect. But what often happens is the damaged self becomes so strong that we then enter the facade and our facade starts thickening and compressing our damaged and real selves down into these little squished out, dried out balls, and we're left with mostly facade and very little else. Everything else is under pressure inside us. And many of us have gone into this state, not realising that this real self exists within us. We've got this real self inside us that God created that we've yet to even discover, for many of us.

And in fact many of us even have a lot of judgement about the real self as well. If you had a personality that was very gregarious and outgoing as your real self, and your parents taught you that anybody gregarious and outgoing is arrogant, then can you see that you would have judgement of your real self? And therefore every time you were gregarious and outgoing, you'd then remember your parent's damage, which was, "That's really wrong, you're very arrogant now". That's their judgement of your real self, and then you would institute the facade. "I'm not going to be gregarious and arrogant anymore," But it's not true that I'm not going to do that anymore; what I'm going to do instead is, "I'm going to be quiet", and put on the facade of humility, the facade of being quiet and mild when the reality is that I might be a totally different person inside.

So oftentimes we forget that there's this real part of us that God created. In fact this is the main reason why most of us don't have faith because we forget that God created the real part of us; this real part of us that's perfect. We forget that completely. And when we're emotionally processing, or we're working through our different emotional injuries, we forget completely that the whole reason for doing that is that we want to discover what God created. Our real self inside us, and we need to discover her or him. That's what we need to do. [00:39:17.08]

3.6. Fears of the damaged self (continued)

Participant: I was also thinking about fear of deception, like lack of support. [00:39:21.24]

Okay, so fear of deception, this is another form of pain. It's another fear that we have. Can you see the fears of accessing our damaged self are now pretty high for the majority of us? And for the majority of us, we have more than what we've listed on the board.

We have a great big long list of fears associated with this damaged self. We have a great big long list of anger about the damaged self and it's not just this kind of anger, but it's also anger relating to the feeling that it's unfair to have to deal with our damaged self when somebody else created it. "They should have to deal with our damaged self, and I should be able to sit back and watch them do it," is the way we often feel. So we have a lot of anger about our damaged self and while we're doing this, this fear and anger creates this layer; this shell becomes so hard and tough that it sometimes feels almost impossible to penetrate. [00:40:52.07]

3.7. Discovering who we truly are

Participant: AJ, I feel that with my damaged self or facade self, it's like a chameleon or shape shifter. When I'm in groups or even in one-on-one with males, females or family members, I feel myself changing and its like, this fear of attack. So I'll mimic them, even their laugh, their tone, their monotone. That's what I notice with myself so is that a very involved state of self-deception? [00:41:28.16]

You're a good chameleon, is that what you're saying? Yeah. And that is true. The majority of us have become like that so unfortunately the facade changes depending on where we go. However we're generally aware of that kind of facade. In other words we're generally aware that I changed myself today in order to suit you, and changed myself yesterday in order to suit her, you know, or whoever we were with. That's not as damaging a facade as the facade that we ourselves actually believe to be true. Can you see the difference? It's the facade we ourselves believe to be true that actually causes most of our pain and most of our problems. The facade where we see ourselves with others but realise it is not ourselves causes less damage to ourselves in terms of accessing our damaged emotions than does the facade that we firmly believe is true.

Participant: I feel quite a bit of fear that I don't know who I am and I also feel quite distant from how I truly I feel on a minute-to-minute basis. It's like there's a lot of cloud of fear of even acknowledging that. [00:43:13.01]

Can I put to you that you will not know who you truly are until you become at-one with God? The reality is that the majority of us have no idea who we are. The difference is that some of us are becoming more conscious that we have no idea of who we are, whereas the other people believe they do know who they are, and it's that person that they created. And there's a big difference between those two states. I feel that if you're having feelings that you don't know who you are, then that is a better place to be in than to believe you know who you are when it's not who you are. However I understand the psychological battle that goes on inside a person not knowing who they are. It's quite difficult. But it's just an emotion and I will say those words to you a lot today. It's just an emotion. You see, for the majority of us, we forget that these things are just an emotion. And instead we finish up starting to view the emotion as the definite unalterable truth. We don't see it as an emotion, we see it as concrete. We see it as something that is unchangeable whereas an emotion can just flow out of us. Every emotion you face can flow if you believe it's just an emotion. If you believe it's something different, then it's not going to flow as well. [00:44:55.21]

3.8. Releasing false beliefs is necessary to break down the facade

Participant: AJ, I've discovered from my childhood that I've taken on a lot of beliefs that I believe are true and they're actually error and I'm learning that they're not a causal emotion, it's just a belief that I hold onto. Does this define part of my facade self because I'm holding onto these beliefs? [00:45:12.04]

Always! It's your beliefs that you have embraced for different reasons. Some of them are based around your parents' beliefs, but others are a result of the damage the parents did, or the result of the environmental damage that happened to you, or the result of the choices that you made throughout your life that damaged you. They all construct your belief systems. And then your belief systems are used as the basis to make further decisions.

Now if the belief system is in error, in other words not in harmony with God's truth, then it will always create further pain. The irony is that we're afraid of pain but we're constantly creating it because we're in the facade that was created by a heap of belief systems that we do not want to release from our souls and we want to stay away from. And it's our belief systems that need to be deconstructed in order to get through this facade. And the only thing that can deconstruct belief systems is truth. God's Truth!

God's Truth about this situation but also God's Truth about ourselves! What is God's Truth about ourselves? What is God's Truth about the damaged self? What actually happened to the damaged self? What were the actual events that caused me to be damaged? They are all part of God's Truth. When God's looking at us, God sees all of that. God sees all of the different things that have happened in the ebb and flow of our lives, God can see it all in terms of what its cause was, and what the effect was. And then how that effect created a belief and then because of that belief we then caused another series of events as a result of those beliefs. God sees all of that. We don't. We're often just living in the addiction of the belief. That's all. [00:47:16.05]

Participant: Sometimes I find the best question to ask when I'm praying to God is, "Why do I believe this?"

Yeah. "Why do I believe this? And is it even true?" You know, quite often people come to me with statements and I'm going, "I'm sorry but that's not even true. Like, in that circumstance that wasn't even true. So you believe something that's not true, you're processing emotion relating to the belief that's not true. Are you actually releasing a causal emotion? Are you actually releasing anything from the damaged self? No." Because to release things from the damaged self you have to process things that are actually true, things that actually happened to you, things that were damaging that actually occurred. You can't sit down and cry about how badly you were treated as a child, when you weren't treated badly as a child, and expect to get anywhere. [00:48:06.00]

Participant: I listened to a previous DVD about Adam and Eve and how they turned away from God and my question is, were they the first ones who turned away from God and to do that did they need to create the facade self to be able to do that? Or is that too far back? [00:48:33.06]

No, what they did was a little different. They just decided they made a choice or a decision, which is very similar to what I was just saying to Natalie; they made a choice or decision based on their own desires and passions. They made a choice or decision that was in disharmony with God's Truth. [00:48:52.25]

Participant: So they needed to live in a lie then?

Well that's what happens. Every time you make a choice or decision that's not harmonious with God's Truth, you have to live the lie to believe it. [00:49:04.16]

Participant: And does that lie create the facade self?

Of course! Now remember, part of the damaged self is what we've done to other people in terms of what's in disharmony with principles of God's Love and Truth. So anybody, even in a state of perfection, can create a damaged self. The problem for most of us is that a lot of that was created before we were even conscious of its creation whereas the difference between us and Amon and Aman is that they created it while they were conscious of the choice that they were making. It's a very different decision.

See, they had a clear set of intellectual arguments that they presented to themselves that were out of harmony with God's Truth and that is what created their damaged self, and then they acted upon their damaged self which then meant the facade was created. For ourselves, the damaged self began the instant we were incarnated. The instant we're conceived we're now absorbing the emotions, the damaged emotions from our parents that they don't want us to feel. And that creates our facade. Our desire to get away from that creates our facade. [00:50:29.11]

4. The facade self

Let's talk about the process of removing the facade and getting down to the damaged self. I want to do a talk at some point in the future about the damaged self, and then at some point in the future after that I'd like to do a talk about the real self; what God actually created. But what we need to do is deal first with the facade, which many of us are still invested in for many reasons, and we need to look at our belief systems of why we have this desire to maintain our facade.

What do we do with all of these reasons to avoid the damaged self? Well the majority of us go, "It's all too hard". So we'll just hold on the facade self instead, we'll use our anger to manage and control our environment so that we don't have to get any deeper into our damaged self, and most of us do not even acknowledge our fears on an emotional level. We do not acknowledge our fears.

4.1. We need to feel to heal

Now remember in 2008 I suggested during a talk that fear is your friend? And in that I suggested that you make a list of all of the things you're afraid of. Now many of you went home and made the list. I think I told you at the time that my list of all the things I was afraid of was about 30-something pages long. And that was all the things that I knew I was afraid of, and not the things I've since discovered that I was afraid of that I didn't know at the time.

So we go home, we make the list and that's as far as it goes. We make the list but we don't feel any of it. We just make an intellectual list of being in a process of attempting to become aware, but unfortunately we don't allow ourselves to feel each fear; to actually work on why we feel each fear. And this is something that we also need to bear in mind; it is impossible to make progress on the Divine Love Path without actually feeling something. I must feel to heal.

You know what we do instead of that? The majority of us are still doing this actually. We make a choice or decision to take an action in order to avoid the feeling.

I'll give you an illustration of this. I was having a chat to Gary and Deb the other day, and I was saying to them how I had some different types of pains in my body. And Gary's suggestion was to me was that I should eat some comfrey, and that would help me a lot. I've got a broken rib at the moment, so the suggestion was to do some first aid on me. And as I pointed out to them at the time, I said, "Yeah that's very interesting, you've both asked me to skip over the emotion." This basic understanding is not there. That indicates that.

If we go to the effect and try to cure the effect with a remedy, we are not addressing the cause and therefore we do not understand this basic truth that I need to feel something in order to heal the problem. Whether I've got a damaged rib or not, it's the same principle. Now I damaged my rib through a long series of emotions that I was denying and I have to come to terms with that. You see by the time the physical ailment appears, we're already down a long chain of denial. That's the reality. Any physical ailment, any physical discomfort! By the time it appears we're already a long way down in our denial curve. We've got to learn to feel to heal. [00:57:07.25]

4.2. The fear-pain scale

Participant: AJ, recently I had this awareness that I'm just afraid of everything. So my question to you is, when I go into my processing can I have fear capping every single emotion? [00:57:22.13]

The reality is that fear or anger are going to be on top of pretty much everything in your damaged self in order for you to create a facade. However, can I address this idea that you're afraid of everything? You're not afraid of everything.

Participant: It feels that way.

Well, have you had children?

Participant: I have, yeah.

So you're obviously weren't afraid of having them at the time you had them? Otherwise you would have been too afraid and you would never have done it. [00:57:56.29]

Participant: Yeah.

So obviously you didn't listen to your fear then.

Participant: No but now I have it about having children.

That's a different matter. What about driving a car? You drove here today?

Participant: Yeah.

You're afraid of that?

Participant: Afraid of what could happen.

You're afraid of what could happen but you still got in the car.

Participant: Yeah.

And you still drove here. So your fear did not dominate your life in those two circumstances already. Have you been married? [00:58:24.22]

Participant: Yes.

So you were not afraid to get married. Your fear never dominated you to stop you from doing that.

Participant: No.

Do you occasionally have sex?

Participant: Yes. (Laughs)

So you're not afraid of having sex. Your fear doesn't dominate you. [00:58:43.24]

Participant: No.

It doesn't stop you from having it. [00:58:45.26]

Participant: No, but it's still there.

I agree that it's still there and this is something we need to understand with fear and this is what I want to illustrate to you. Fears can be present; the problem is when we allow them to dominate our lives and we live by them. That's when we get stuck. Every time you choose to allow a fear to be the truth you will get stuck. Guaranteed, every time! Now in the past many of you have had fears but you have not allowed those fears to prevent you from acting. It's the fears that prevent you from acting that need to be addressed because they're the ones that stuff up your life. They're the ones that you feel are too big to handle.

Remember in 2008 when I was talking at Peter's house, in Eudlo, I drew a couple of scales on the board. There was a fear scale, and what's the opposite to fear? Truth! Truth is the opposite to fear. And then there was a pain scale, where we have pain from a scale of 0 to 10. When our fear is higher than our pain we will not do anything about our pain. When our fear is lower than our pain, we will now allow ourselves to feel our pain.

When our fear is greater than our pain we will not act

And what I'm suggesting to you is that when you say, "I'm afraid of everything", while there may be a degree of truth in that, in that we have fear relating to most things in our lives, the difference is that your fear has been less than your pain on many of those things, so that's why you've gone ahead and done things anyway. The problem is when our fear is greater than our pain. That's when we run into trouble. That's when we stop doing things. That's when we get stuck, when we don't progress anymore, when we want to run away from God, where we want to run away from our own soul. That's the time when we want to do that.

And what happens initially when we find and discover the Divine Truth is that we have very little fear because we're in this joy of discovery mode. Many of you have had this. You're in the joy of discovery mode. You don't have as much fear, and so you just go ahead with the actions. But those actions create reactions in your environment. In other words you start getting attacked for your choices and decisions. Now your pain levels are quite high in those areas and your fear of addressing the pain is even higher. We're so afraid of what everyone thinks of us, how they will disapprove of us, what kind of acceptance we'll have in the long run and so forth. And so what finishes up happening is that our fear dominates our life. So that initial joy of discovery that we had of the Divine Truth gets lost in our desire to stay in a place where fear dominates, and we need to address this. This is a part of the facade. It creates the facade. [01:02:39.21]

4.3. Facing the pain that we have caused others

Now a big problem that we face with our facade is that we are perfectly content to blame other people for our pain. Most of us have very little difficulty getting into emotional pain that other people have created in our lives. Is that not true? Let's say your partner cheats on you sexually. Most people would have a lot of grief to deal with about that, would they not? Now once we've healed all that, we'd have no grief to deal with but initially we have pain associated with the whole feeling of being betrayed, the feeling that we can't trust them, and a lot of other emotions that come up. Most of us would have a lot of pain that comes up associated with it. And we find it relatively easy to get into that pain in comparison. So we go through this process of grief where we get out of the denial into the anger, out of the anger into the grief of what happened, and then we grieve it. And in the process of grieving we release it from ourselves. But the bigger problem that most of us face is the things that we have done to others. [01:04:58.26]

Most of us have huge amounts of denial in that particular area of our life. And we wish to maintain the facade that we're actually a lot better that we believe ourselves to be a lot better than we have actually been.

Tomorrow I'll be giving a talk called, "Spirit Life: The Sleep State". Now I'm going to discuss with you what you're doing in your sleep state, and for many of you, you're going to find it a very, very challenging discussion. And the reason is that many of us in our sleep state are taking actions to harm others that we are in complete denial of in our awake state, because we're living in our facade in our awake state. The facade is very much harder to actually hold onto in your sleep state. And the reason it's harder is that anybody can see the condition of your spirit body in your sleep state. Anybody can. You're totally emotionally naked to every single person. In your awake state, here, you have a physical body and you can maintain a degree of disconnectedness from your spirit body and your true condition. This is a problem that we face here on Earth.

On Earth, we have a tendency to desire the facade because we can't handle the damaged self. We judge the damaged self; in particular we don't even want to know the truth of what the damaged self is doing to others. We're perfectly happy to feel the damage from others, but we are not very happy to feel what we're doing to others. We have huge amounts of shame and judgement about it, and so we finish up closing down these whole aspects of our life that we do not wish to come to terms with.

This is where we get really heavy with others, where we get very demanding and we get needy and we want others to approve of us and accept us, and we want others to do what we want. We even want others to say what we want them to say. I've used the illustration plenty of times where the wife buys a new dress and says, "Do I look fat in this?" And the husband says, "Yes, you do". Now how often does that happen? Pretty rarely, and the reason is that we even want the people around us to accept the facade that we want to hold onto. And so we're not willing to go further and deeper and go, "No, I don't want others to accept the facade because it's not my real self. I'm lying to them constantly by presenting the facade." You see most of us are not coming face to face with the fact that the facade is all lies. [01:08:40.11]

The facade self is a lie about who we really are

And many of us say, "But I don't lie to people," and yet many of us moment to moment are lying because of the facade that we're constantly presenting. And yet we're saying, "No I don't lie". We're lying all the time because we're in the facade that we want to maintain and we want others to accept. Now if you want to accept the facade that's one thing, but also wanting others to accept it that's quite another. And in fact much of your desire to damage others is based upon the fact that you want them to accept your facade. [01:09:36.11]

4.4. Maintaining the facade can create confusion

Participant: There's emotional confusion in my damaged self and I take actions based on... [01:09:50.06]

Yeah see I would put to you that that's not true, Jen. It's not your damaged self that has confusion. [01:09:56.27]

Participant: Well where does it come from then?

Well not the confusion you're talking about anyway. The confusion you're talking about is because you're trying to maintain the facade self. You see, when you're actually feeling the emotions of your damaged self you will not be confused at all. You will understand exactly where the emotions have come from. After you finish feeling the emotion, you will know exactly where it was produced in your life, what source produced it, which person the interaction involved, you might even know right down to the day or particularly the year, how old you were, that this damage actually occurred. There is no confusion feeling your damaged self, it's the desire to not feel your damaged self that causes confusion.

When we feel all confused it's because we're desiring to not feel the real self and the damaged self. Remember I said earlier, that these two things are like the inside of the egg. They are fluid and easily flow. Things are easily determined. There's no resistance. There's no hardness around them. It's our facade self and that uses the excuse of confusion to avoid the clarity of the damaged self, and the real self too. Both the damaged self and the real self have clarity. You know this, many of you now, when you process through an emotion and get out of your facade and into the damaged self, you now have almost complete clarity of how that emotion was created, and what's happening to you and you also have emotional clarity in that moment. You actually feel connected with yourself in that moment. So whenever we're in a state of confusion, it's one of our facades and we actually want to create confusion in order to avoid the damaged condition.

5. The three selves continued

Participant: I was just wondering if we are all constantly in the facade or the damaged self when we're processing emotions. Do we actually have glimpses of our real self? And if so how do we know when we're feeling the real self because the facade is so fixed? [01:12:49.27]

Well let's look at what actually happens for the majority of us. We have a personality or some kind of true self feeling. Then it gets passed through what our parents and our environment did to us, it gets passed through what we have done to ourselves and others and then looking at it we see the result of it. So what we're seeing is mixed stuff. The part of our real personality, mixed in with the damage that's happened, mixed in with what we've done to ourselves to damage ourselves, and then we're viewing it in reverse.

When we view ourselves, we see a mixture of all three selves

So the reality is that when you go backwards through these emotions you may get glimpses of your true self and that particular part of yourself you may finish up accepting. But that doesn't mean there are not other areas to look at; it just means that's what you're doing in that particular area. So we can see the mixture of the true self, the damaged self and our facade self.

The facade is the hardest thing to get through, and when I say it's the hardest, it's usually the thing that takes us the longest time because we're the most resistive. And we're the most resistive to one particular thing, and that is the truth. Because we're resistive to the truth, this shell is like a hard shell that we're tapping on, tapping on, tapping on, but not tapping on hard enough in order to break it. And it's only the truth that eventually allows us to break the shell. Once we go through that, we will then feel the damage to ourselves and often even feel the real self underneath that damage. And you'll go, "Wow, I'm not even like that! That's not my real nature".

5.1. The real self knows no fear

You know how many of you are afraid at the moment? And many of you would say that you have a long list of fears, and it feels like you fear almost everything. Well this real self fears nothing. It doesn't fear a single thing. The real self that God created does not know fear. Now if you think about that you could go, "Alright, if I have fear and I'm justifying my fear, and I'm justifying to myself living in my fear, then obviously I'm way out of harmony with my real self, am I not?" And yet you'd be surprised how often many of you justify to each other your fears so that you don't go through an emotion. And yet this real self has no fear. The real self is completely fearless. [01:16:08.08]

Now just imagine for a moment if you lived your life without fear in the true sense of the word, without any fear. It's pretty hard to imagine for the majority of us because unfortunately our reality is that we have so many fears by which we live our life. And we now think the fear is justified, don't we? We justify to ourselves and to everyone around us why we should hold on to this particular fear because if we don't something bad will happen. And yet this real self has no fear. It thinks nothing bad can happen. That's what it thinks. But through all the different damage and unloving things that have happened to us in our lives, it has come to believe and we come to this point where we know bad things can happen now, we know they can happen, but we're not understanding why they happen.

5.1.1. The example of having a fear of being raped

But this real self, once it's in this clarified place of no longer having any fear, it cannot have anything bad happen to it. And yet we constantly justify fear to prevent certain actions that we might have taken just because of an emotion that's just an emotion. That's all it is. Most of the things that have happened to us happened to us in the past. Many of the things we're afraid of are not happening to us right now. How many of you ladies are afraid of being raped, in an anarchy situation? The majority of you! How many of you have actually been raped? So there are less than a quarter of those. How many of you have been raped in the last 2 years? None! So can you see these events happened in the past? You have already dealt with it in the sense that you have already lived through it and you're still alive. There are emotions to feel about it, but you've already lived through it. So why would you then base the rest of your life on this past event?

Logically there is no good reason to base the rest of your life on a past event. There is a good reason to process through it emotionally and release the event from you emotionally. So I'm not saying not to do that. What I'm saying, what's going on most of the time is that our fears associated with living in this place here are actually fears of things that have all happened in the past and are not happening to us right now. And yet we're still afraid.

Now I can understand completely why a person would be afraid of the event if the event was happening right now. It makes more sense to be afraid of something that's actually happening, than it does to be afraid of something that happened in the past. And remember 75% of you ladies who put up your hand have never been raped. So you're actually afraid of an event that has never actually happened to you. Does that sound logical? To be afraid of an event that's never happened to you, it's just happened to somebody else?

You see these fears often absorb us and we don't want to deal with them, and so our fear levels become so high that we wish to retain the belief system that doesn't even make any sense logically. Because our fear levels are so high! Now I can understand a woman who's been raped being afraid of a future possible rape more than I can understand a woman who's never been raped being afraid of a possible future event of being raped. Can you see the difference? It's actually happened to one, the other one it has not. And it's the events that have happened to us that often do dictate our future life unfortunately, and we need to release those emotionally.

But many of us, as a part of our facade, have a whole set of beliefs that we constructed and that nobody else has even participated in the construction of. Now obviously if I have grown up with a mother who's been raped there's now a chance that there is somebody who has participated in my belief that I might be raped. And I certainly see how that might occur. But it still doesn't justify holding on the belief, does it? Because, it can still be released from you emotionally to get to the real self.

You see the real self is not afraid of a rape. And we go, "What?! How can that be?" Because, the real self knows all the truth. The real self and I'm talking about the real self once we've become at-one with God in particular, is perfect; it knows all the truth. It knows the truth about life, death, sexuality, everything. It knows the truth about all these things. The real self would actually even know who would potentially be a rapist. So you walk up past somebody in a street, you would know that person there is potentially a rapist. Not a good idea to spend a lot of time with him. The real self is that switched on. The damaged self goes, "I'm afraid" because maybe a rape occurred to me so I've got all this emotion inside of me." But the facade self goes, "I don't want to know about it. I'm going to just treat every man as if he's a potential rapist." And I've heard many of you ladies actually say that all men are bastards and all men are rapists. We were watching a television show, and one lady basically said that - that all men in her opinion were rapists. [01:23:43.22]

Participant: I just remember a little saying where someone said that all crows are black and all crows are birds, therefore all birds must be black! [01:23:59.20]

(Laughs) Yeah!

Participant: And then someone else said all Indians walk in single file, at least the one I saw was! And so it occurred to me, how many men had she actually had any dealings with to come up with a radical statement like that, I wonder? [01:24:21.20]

Yeah. Even if she had dealings with all three and a half billion of the men on the planet, that still doesn't mean that it's true. Because there are still all these spirits in the spirit world and our personal experience is very limited. But you're right; the logic that we use is often not valuable. It's not logical logic. It's emotionally-driven logic. [01:24:52.02]

5.2. The Law of Attraction works on all three selves

Participant: I had the thought about our Law of Attraction and how that relates to the damaged self, the real self and the facade. Could you shine some light on that please? [01:25:08.05]

Sure. Remember the Law of Attraction is based upon many things, but remember I said all three selves are your soul? And the Law of Attraction is based on the condition of the soul, which is made up of emotions, beliefs, desires, passions, longings, personality, memories and so forth.

The Law of Attraction is based upon the soul condition and what the soul attracts, and the soul's condition is based on emotions, beliefs, desires, personality, and so forth. All of these different things! Now, can you see that in the emotional area, the facade self has emotions, the damaged self has emotions and the real self has emotions? Obviously all three together are going to create the Law of Attraction with regard to triggering different emotions. Not just your facade.

Now if you look at your belief systems: the facade self has its own belief systems, the damaged self often has a completely different set of belief systems and the real self often has another completely different set of belief systems, sometimes in total opposition to each other. The sum total of all that will create your belief systems' Law of Attraction; who you attract in terms of who you get to talk to, who you get to talk to about spiritual matters, who you get to talk to about your beliefs about politics, religion and so forth. Those different areas or walks of life will all combine based upon what is actually going on in those selves.

The Law of Attraction works on each aspect of the soul condition for each self

Now let's look at the desires. The facade self has a whole set of desires, does it not? It has a lot of desires that are in the complete opposite direction to what the real self needs to go, but it has a lot of desires. The damaged self also has certain desires that are not met. For example, if the damaged self is damaged with regard to mum or dad never loving them, and has a feeling retained inside of them of "My mother didn't love me", then it's going to have a desire of being loved by a woman as a part of that damage. And it might not be very selective as to which woman either, in terms of how it actually acts about that particular desire. And then the real self also has desires and passions. The real personality has it. And they all combine into one set of desires, if you like, which is a very large area, and that creates an attraction and that's a part of your Law of Attraction too.

What I'm trying to illustrate is that these different aspects of our soul all have three primary areas associated with them. They have a facade area associated with it, they have a damaged area associated with it and then they have the real area associated with it, and the combination of those three parts of ourselves causes our Law of Attraction. Now once we've released the facade, then it's only two parts that control the Law of Attraction. And once we release the damage, then it's only one part that controls the Law of Attraction, our real self. And because of the mixture of the different parts of us having a part to play in our Law of Attraction, our Law of Attraction is working in opposite directions of itself constantly.

For example, the damaged self wants to heal. The facade self doesn't want to heal. So now we've got two sets of desires imposed upon the one soul. One part is saying, "I want to heal. I want to heal. I want to heal." This is why many of you say, "I want to heal myself", and the very next words that come out of your mouth prove that you don't want to because you go back into the facade and the facade doesn't want to heal. So what often finishes up happening is that it's the one we are afraid of most that controls what happens, in terms of our will. We're often using our will in a completely different direction to what healing would require us to use our will. And that's because the facade self does not wish to heal. The facade self just wishes things to be different.

When you pray, many of you are praying from your facade self, which cannot be answered. And the prayer many of you are still praying is, "Please take this away from me," instead of, "Please help me feel this." Can you see the difference? One God cannot do; the desire of your facade to have something taken away without you having to have any effort in doing so or any feeling in doing so. So your will is in its facade. In other words you're saying you want to progress, but at the same time taking actions that prove you don't. Now we've got to stop that if we really want to progress. We need to get away from our facade self and start recognising that yes, our facade self has a desire to not feel anything and our damaged self has a desire to feel the damage and our real self has a desire to be who we really are. And all of that is happening at the same time and it just depends on who we're afraid of the most as to which one we'll do. And most of the time we're afraid of our damaged self the most and so we're in our facade and so our facade dictates what we do.

Participant: Our blockages to emotion, are they in the facade? [01:32:28.11]

Yes. All of your blockages to emotion are in the facade. The facade is difficult because you do have to go through and experience the blockages to your emotion before you actually feel them. But once the facade is rubbed out in a certain area, now you have direct access to the damaged emotions. The damaged emotions will just flow out of you like water out of a jug. You won't even be able to control them, let alone try. The ability to control our damaged emotions all comes from this desire to maintain the facade. That's what it comes from. While we're in this place of wanting to maintain the facade we cannot fully access the emotion that we need to access in order to heal. And unfortunately for many of us, that's what's going in our lives, in our day-to-day life; we're still doing this.

Now remember, you can't be hard on yourself here because you going to do this in some areas and not other areas. The key is to learn to get off the facade in all areas and that takes time and, by the time you've done that, you'll probably also be your real self. But we want to stop staying in the facade. [01:33:52.04]

5.3. The importance of will for breaking down the facade

Participant: So do you need willpower or do you need surrender?

I feel firstly you need willpower. Remember that your will comes from inside of your feelings. It's not just a thought. So many of us think we have a will, but it's only a thought. Do you see the difference? A will, when you really have it, will definitely guide your actions. You will instantly act. You won't put it off when you exercise your will in a certain direction. You think about the course of your day-to-day life, the things that you really want to do are the things that generally finish up getting done. Because you are exercising your will in that direction! The things that you think you want to do, but don't get done, you obviously have a lot of resistance to; otherwise you would also get them done.

Participant: Passions and desires?

Well that's a part of your will I feel. We need to engage our passions and desires but if we go back to this idea of will, the will is very important. Your will is in fact the supreme gift that God gave you aside from the gift of love, which you have use your will to ask for. So the reality is that even God's Love cannot come to you without your will being fully expressed. So the soul's desire to do something, which you could say is its will to do something, is going to be the most dominant creative force in your life. Now if you're not really willing then of course there's a high likelihood you will not do. So I feel will is a very important part of breaking the facade. Do you really want to know who you are? And I put to all of you; the majority of us really still do not want to know who we are. Because we want to maintain the facade! And why do we want to maintain the facade? Because of all those fear-based reasons we listed before, and many more, and because of all the anger-based reasons we listed before, and many more. We want to maintain the facade. But if you maintain the facade you are never going to get to the stage of feeling and releasing your damaged self, and finding your true self. Now God wants you to find your true self. That's what God wants of you. [01:37:12.28]

Participant: Is the process different in the spirit world to what it is here?

No. In fact in some ways it's even a bit more difficult in that in the spirit world your damaged self often dominates your life but there are many people in the spirit world who still attempt to maintain a facade. However it's much more difficult because anybody coming along can look at your body and go, "Mmm, I don't think you're telling the truth!" Here on Earth, we look at the person's body and they might be in a lovely body and they might go, "Yeah, she must be telling the truth. She looks good!" whereas in the spirit world, they look at the spirit body and go, "Yeah, you're not telling the truth because I can see this injury and this injury and this injury in you." So it's a lot harder to maintain the facade. That's the only difference. However it is still very easy to live in the facade. What I mean by that is that the hells are fully populated at this point in time with billions of people who are still continuing to attempt to maintain their facade, even though their own bodies tell them differently. But they're still trying to maintain the facade.

Last week I did some channelling work privately with some people and some of their family came to talk. They wanted their family to come and talk because they wanted to see where they were in the spirit world and how they were doing. All of the people who came from this particular family were still in the spirit world in their facade. Now they were all in the hells in the spirit world as a result of their facade, but their facade cracked very easily by me just talking the truth to them about their facade. One of the things that I did say was, "Have you compared the brightness of your body with the brightness of this person here, who's next to you?" "No." "Does that person look good?" "Yeah." "How do you look?" And then you hear silence. "How do you look?" "I don't look very good," they'll say. "In comparison with that bright person, how do you look?" "Yeah, he's pretty good." "Would you like to be like him?" And so there's a comparison that's now set up where the person can begin to see their facade. But the problem for most of us is that we don't want to see our facade, and on Earth and in the spirit world many people are still in that state. [01:40:13.17]

Participant: So if it's effective, prayer is the exercise of your will?

Yes. Definitely it's the exercise of your desires, which is a large part of your will. For instance, that prayer that I mentioned earlier, "Please take this away from me". Now that is a prayer that the majority of us at some point are engaging, but it's not a prayer that can be answered. We want God to take things away without us having any experience through the process, for many of us. What we need to do instead is be willing to allow the experience of the process and instead of praying, "Please take this away from me", we'd be praying and at the same time actually having a feeling that we want this, of "Please help me feel this" rather than "Take it away from me." Now that's a prayer that God can answer. He will help you feel it and help you feel it very rapidly if you're willing to use your will in that direction.

So what I find is that many people are still exercising their passions and desires in harmony mostly with their facade self. The damaged self, if you connect to her or him fully, has a very strong desire for you to face the truth. You imagine a child for a moment who's five years of age, who's just been belted by another child. And the child comes running up to you, crying, tears running down its face. And it says, "He belted me, he belted me, he belted me!" and he's crying and crying, and you say to the child, "It's not that bad. Just toughen up a bit," or whatever. Now the child just before that state was in its real truth of the emotion. The child naturally wants to feel the truth of what happened. The instant the adult got involved was the instant that we try to make the child not feel what happened. And the child often rebels at this. Children do not like this happening to them and your damaged self is that child. [01:42:55.15]

Participant: So is that your inner child? That you talk about?

Yeah. Often this damaged self is your inner child. Bearing in mind of course that the damaged self may also have created some of the damage by your own actions, which is different. But for the majority of us, the damaged self wants to know and feel the truth. It's the facade self that keeps going, "No I don't want to know, I don't want to know. I don't want to feel it; I don't want to feel it." A lot of times we think we want to know it but we don't want to feel it. And a lot of times many of you are talking about it, and you talk till you're blue in the face, but you still don't feel it.

It amazes me sometimes how often we sit down with people and I say to them, "How are you?" "Well today I was processing this emotion and that emotion and ra ra ra..." and then 15 minutes later they've described all these different emotions that have happened to them during that day and I go, "And why did you need to tell me all of that if you've really processed the emotion?" Unless there was some reason to teach me something, I don't really see much point. Do you? Unless we're going to discuss an emotion in order to teach somebody something about it, there's very little point discussing my personal emotion. If I've truly felt my own personal emotion you have no idea what it's going to be. I can talk till I'm blue in the face and you are still not going to feel what I went through because it was my personal emotion, through the filters of my personality, through the filters of my life, and there's no way you could understand it. Why even attempt to make you understand it? The attempt to even make you understand it is driven by a facade. It's driven by something else. [01:44:55.26]

Participant: Do people have difficulty having extended conversations with you, AJ?!

(Laughter) Well it doesn't seem to be the case but lately I'm not having extended conversations with people who are in their facade. So yes, often people who are in their facade have a very big difficulty even approaching me let alone opening their mouth because they're afraid of what I may say. And I put to you, if you're afraid of what somebody else may say you're already trying to maintain your facade. Because if you weren't afraid of what somebody may say you'd be willing to engage the situation come what may. [01:45:47.01]

5.4. Feeling afraid of the real self

Participant: It feels like I get glimpses of big desires and passions in my real self. And I'm very afraid of those because I'm looking through the filters so I'm just going into inaction because the desire just seems too big. [01:46:12.11]

Well your damaged self can be afraid of your real self that is true. But can you understand why? It's quite simple to understand why. The only reason your damaged self would be afraid of your real self is that your damaged self was taught that your real self was wrong, or bad, and should be punished. So it gets back to an emotion, an emotion usually related to your parents, and how you were treated when you were in your real self.

See, the majority of children, when they're very, very young in particular, are in their real selves quite frequently. And as a result of that, the parents generally don't like it because it challenges every one of the parents' emotions, particularly through the parent's Law of the Attraction attracting a child with that personality into their life in the first place. So the parent tries to manipulate and control the real self of the child. This is what causes the damage.

In other words, the parents' lack of being able to accept what God designed in the real self of the individual causes the parents to attempt to modify it to suit their fears and their anger and their rage. And as a result of that they project at the real self, "Your real self isn't any good," and this causes the damage. And of course you're then going to be afraid of engaging your real self. But again it's just an emotion that exists within your damaged self that's causing you to do that.

Now, the justification of the fear stopping the action is your facade. So when I say, "Yes, the damaged self has some fear about what the real self is and I'm going to live in this fear," in other words I'm not going to act on the desire that this real self had, and I'm going to live in this fear, then now I am in the facade. I'm now trying to do something completely opposite to what my real self is. So that's a facade. And I'm living in this facade justifying the fear as a reason to not act.

6. Always act upon loving desires, but feel and don't act upon unloving desires

So whenever you have a desire inside of yourself and desires often happen in the real self, feel whether it is pure in harmony with love, and if it's pure in harmony with love, always engage it. Whether you're afraid or not! That's a general rule to make for yourself. If I engage it, I will trigger my fears in my damaged self and if I'm open to dealing with those I'll still feel my fears but I'll engage. To be frank with you, I am often terrified of what I'm currently doing! But I don't stop doing it just because I'm terrified. Because how does your soul stretch? It's only going to stretch by you being able to feel the terror and yet continue to do something that's harmonious with your real self.

Desires are often located in our real self

So once you recognise what's a really strong passion or desire in your real self, don't use fear as a justification for your inaction. There is no justification for you to not act when you have a desire that is pure and in harmony with love. Now I can understand completely when you choose to not act on a desire that's out of harmony with love. And in fact a point of integrity would be to not do so.

Let's say I was in a partnership with Mary and then I had a desire to have sex with a woman outside of the partnership. It's at this point just a desire. Now I know that it's not harmonious with love while I'm in this relationship. I've got to either do something about this relationship, remove myself from this relationship in order to engage this other one, or I'm out of harmony with love. I know that my desire is out of harmony with love. So I don't act upon it. Don't act upon desires that are out of harmony with love. Just feel them. Don't judge them. Feel them. When you feel them you'll find the damage that's there. If you feel the desire out of harmony with love you will find the damage.

All other desires will come into the real self aspect. They'll all be related to purity of your soul and many of your desires are along that line, Rob. What's happening though is the fear that comes from your parents' judgement of those desires when you were a child, and the judgement of you as an individual. That is what's causing you to not act upon these desires and therefore maintain the facade. And the facade is just not doing it. Just by not acting on a desire, you're being in a facade. [01:51:41.20]

Now the key is to not judge it, the key is to go instead, "Alright, whenever I have a perfect and true desire that's in harmony with love, always act upon it." That's my number one soul rule. Act upon my desires that are harmonious with love. The number two soul rule: Never act upon desires that are out of harmony with love. Now you can be damaged right to the point of the hells and still hold on to those two principles if you have something that a lot of people on the planet don't have yet, and that's called integrity.

If you have integrity you can make a rule that you know is harmonious with love for your soul and you can stick by that rule no matter what. And it's your integrity that will actually help you through this process of discovering your facade self. When you have personal integrity, you will stop justifying your facade to yourself because the integrity position would be to not justify yourself. [01:53:02.14]

Participant: Sometimes I can't tell whether or not it is a pure desire so I find myself still not acting because I'm just afraid of doing something wrong.

Well if you don't know whether it's a pure desire or not, then the fastest way to find out whether it is, is still to act upon it, and then see what the Law of Attraction brings you. [01:53:48.18]

Participant: Yeah. I did that recently, like my car just broke down and then I decided, "I'll borrow mum's". And so I'm borrowing mum's and that feels really wrong. The other thing that I wanted to say was I know that there's stuff that's unloving within me and I don't act upon it but I still don't deal with why I have the emotions.

6.1. Holding on to unloving desires and emotions

Yeah it's a good question, Arvana. And the reality is that many of us do this. We notice that, "Yeah, something is wrong". We see it in the facade. We see that something's wrong but we don't make a diligent effort to resolve it. And I put to you, if there is no diligent effort to resolve it; you're actually now in a worse place than if you didn't know about it in the first place. [01:54:49.15]

Participant: Awesome! (Laughter)

"Awesome", she says.

Participant: No, sarcastically.

Yeah.

Participant: There I was thinking that I was in a better space because I was aware of what was going on but...

Yeah well if you don't act upon it you're in a worse place.

Participant: Sure.

The reason you're in a worse place is that you now know the truth but refuse to do it. And this refusal that we have is obviously based upon another emotion that we need to discover. Why do we have so much refusal? If you've been feeling for a while... many of you will be able to list a page of all the things you know are wrong with you from an emotional perspective or a belief system or so forth. At least a page, generally! And yet many of us do not make a diligent effort to solve each problem and we have huge investments in not solving our problems. We need to recognise that. And some of those investments are that we'd like to hold onto the problem so somebody else has to solve it for us or bend around it, because if we solved it then they wouldn't love us as much. And there are all sorts of weird and warped ways that we think in order to hold onto emotions that we know we shouldn't be holding onto. [01:56:14.03]

Participant: Over the last few weeks, since my car broke down and stuff, I was in massive self-deception, which I already knew anyway because my mummy stuff wasn't changing. But I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me and I've still got that within me but I had this huge realisation. I was just jumping around and like, "Wow!" I only realised something to do with the abundance stuff... and now I forget where I was going with that but... [01:56:49.06]

But you know when you had that really good feeling of your recognising it? Now, straight away this is where we have a choice to make. We have this realisation, we recognise what the proper way of feeling about something would be, if we were in harmony with love or truth, but then what we do is we fail to address the causal emotions... [01:57:12.26]

Participant: Yeah. And that's where I'm at right now.

We retain that.

Participant: It's like I feel stuck as to where to go now because I still want to be in that space. [01:57:23.05]

7. Prioritise working through issues relating to God first, then our souls, then others

Now can I make a suggestion? And this is a pretty important suggestion actually. If you notice you're in your facade on any issue related to God, put that as your highest priority in your life to deal with. Higher than work, higher than eating, and higher than everything. Put it as your highest priority to deal with. Higher than your relationships, and also higher than your partnership. Any injury that you notice you have with God is going to have a severe impact upon your life. And therefore it makes sense to address those issues first in your life, and as rapidly as you possibly can.

The second thing is to deal with the issues related to your own soul. This includes the issues related to your soulmate. In other words, treat your relationship as the next highest priority in your life in terms of the issues to resolve. And focus on the resolution of those particular issues next. Now many times you can do this concurrently because your Law of Attraction will be bringing you many events that show you what's going on. If you spend the majority of your time focusing on those particular issues you will find that you'll make great inroads into your soul's true nature and therefore your Law of Attraction will have the greatest potential to change.

If you deal with all other matters first because those two matters are too hard to address, then you'll find that you have a slower Law of Attraction change and you'll find your life less joyful for a longer period of time. Now that to me doesn't make much sense. It makes sense to focus on the things that are going to bring me the most joy first and then to focus on the things that bring me less joy after that. [01:59:42.20]

Participant: Something I've been struggling with though, is actually how to put God first but also how to put my relationship first as well? [02:00:07.23]

It's really easy to measure whether you're doing it. What you do is you add up all the time that you spend doing each thing. And that tells you what your real priorities are. So if most of the time in your week is spent in developing your relationship with God, then you know you've got your priorities right. If the second thing that's got most of your time is your soul and your soulmate, then you know you've got your priorities right. But for the majority of us, it doesn't work out that way, hey? [02:00:42.25]

Participant: No. My week is not like that.

No we finish up going, "Well, yeah, if I added up the amount of time that I actually prayed or talked to God or wanted to learn something about God this week, it might end up to be 15 minutes of the whole week". And because my priority system is out of whack, of course I'm not going to change very rapidly and therefore I'm not going to enjoy myself very rapidly either. [02:01:11.06]

Participant: Yeah. And also something that I have problems with is, like when you say God first and then is it my soul, meaning me and Justin? So I just struggle with doing that at the same time. (Laughs) [02:01:34.13]

It's very, very hard, to be frank. It's very, very difficult to do that. I'm still learning to do that.

Participant: Oh okay.

In terms of putting God first, and then our relationships next, I don't have any problem with what comes after that. My main problem at this point in time is the competing aspects of my relationship with God and my relationship with my soulmate. But I don't have anything else competing. Now for the majority of us, we do have lots of other things competing, and we need to address that if we're really going to progress rapidly.

So my suggestion is that there is always going to be a difficulty here because the things you learn in your relationship, you're also sort of learning with God, because God has feminine aspects, God has masculine aspects. You're going to have different issues with masculine and feminine aspects and if you've attracted your soulmate into your life then obviously you're in a space where you want to deal with that. Many of you are not attracting your soulmate into your life because you do not actually want to put your soul as your second priority. You want other things to be your second priority and that's why you haven't attracted your soulmate, and that's okay! But, understand that that's what's going on.

Many of you are also justifying not attracting your soulmate by going, "He doesn't want to be with me". Well I put to you that anybody in their right mind might not want to be with you. Shall I say that again? I know it sounds a bit much but anyone in their right mind may not want to be with you. Have you looked at that? And when I say, "Have you looked at that?" have you really looked at that or are you just in your facade with it because you don't really want to deal with it? Now I feel, for example, that a lot of you are making arrangements to not be with your soulmate. Purposely making arrangements not to be with your soulmate; personal arrangements such as to where you live, how you live, with whom you live, what you do in your day-to-day life. You're personally making those arrangements to not be with your soulmate.

And I put to you that at the same time, "I want to be with my soulmate" is a facade. The real, the damaged self is going, "I don't want to be with my soulmate". Feel that. Feel that you don't want to be with them. Why? You don't want them or you only want them under certain circumstances. Why? Or you only want yourself under certain circumstances. Why? Or you want your soulmate so that your soulmate will tell you what you can do because you've got no idea what to do yourself. Why? Look at those issues. And address those particular issues. But if you put God as priority number one, soul as priority number two, you will find you will progress much more rapidly than if you deal with anything else as your first two priorities. [02:04:43.00]

The Facade Self: Part 2

8. Fears surrounding discovery of the real self

One thing I'd like to point out to you is that many of you are terrified of discovering your real self.

But that doesn't make much sense either, when you think about it. You see, at the moment you were conceived, the personality of your real self was quite defined. God had created it, and it was perfect in its nature but it was a little undeveloped soul at that point in time. Someone who was not yet quite self aware! Someone who didn't know itself very well! Now the problem was, as soon as the real self became self-aware, right at that moment, it began to receive the projections of the unhealed emotions of its parents, right at that moment. That's why many of you are scared of your real self; because your real self has been receiving unhealed emotional projections from parents and environment from the moment you arrived. And because it happened from the moment you've arrived, you've become afraid of even discovering your real self. And it's a sad thing really, when you think about it, that we're so afraid of this thing that God created.

8.1. How to develop a desire to discover the real self - trust and faith in God

What we need to do with regard to our real self is to focus on and pray about a couple of qualities. The first quality is trust in God. You see a lot of the time we're trying to avoid the discovery of our real self because we don't trust that God created a perfect real self. So we finish up struggling to keep away from the real self, to reject the real self, because we're afraid that the real self is somehow bad. But the only way the real self could be bad is if God was bad. So we're really actually saying to God, "You created something bad and my real self is bad." We need to stop doing that and have trust in God and in particular trust that God is good.

Interesting saying, "God is good." It's in many religions and used in fact as a term of greeting for some religions. And we forget that God is good and we forget to trust in God. When we forget to trust in God a lot of very negative things begin to occur because now who are we left to trust? Only ourselves! And that's one of the problems that we face in dealing with our facade; our facade is the creation of our self who does not trust in God or trust that God is good. So we need to change something there. The way to change some of these things is firstly to pray about them. Pray about coming to accept the truth that God is good and that God can be trusted, and God can be trusted to have created you perfect.

The second quality that we need to have is faith in God. Now I've talked about faith before in the presentation "Relationship with God - Faith" that was done in Buderim in 2009. If we have faith, we won't automatically assume that something that is negative. When we have faith, we automatically assume that the positive thing is the more likely than the negative thing. Now although we don't know for certain, I'm suggesting that we go by the assumption that God is good. And that you can have faith that God created you to handle everything. God created you to handle everything. The emotions in you that you're worried about are the emotions in the damaged self.

And God was so clever that God created the soul in such a way that no matter how much damage it receives from its environment, it is still capable of clearing away all of that damage and becoming pure again. That's a pretty amazing creation, to do that isn't it? To actually create the process where a soul could potentially absorb good things or negative things and still end up in this place of being the victor over those things. And that what's God has created.

Often in our damaged self we don't have faith in God. We only have faith in ourselves and barely any of that, generally. And so we finish up trying to create this third person that has no relationship to the first two, this facade self, the egg shell, thinking that that is our way out of this pain that we carry around inside of us. But of course it's not the way out of the pain, as is evidenced by the life we live and the people we see around us. So we need to develop those two qualities, in relationship to God, and start trusting that no matter how bad anything seems inside of us, that God has given us this soul that is capable of releasing it without the soul going crazy, and without the soul dying in the process. [00:07:52.13]

Trust and faith in God will help us desire to know our real self

We need to trust that. And if we don't trust that, we need to pray to gain some trust in that because what I've found personally is that you will be faced with some emotions in the damaged self that are so intense that without that trust and faith in God you will not be able to get through the emotion. And in a way, even that is quite a clever creation of God because it helps us establish a relationship with God through that process. By dealing with these damaged-self emotions, we have to get to the point where at some point we do trust God and we do have faith in God.

8.2. Spirits in the 6th sphere on the Natural Love Path are in facade

Every spirit I've ever met in the spirit world, even the spirits that are in the 6th dimension of the spirit world, still have damaged-self emotions inside of them that they have suppressed through the act of natural love coming from themselves. They have not released the damaged-self emotions but rather distanced themselves from those emotions to the point where they could become loving all the time to other people. But as soon as I start conversing with them about the emotions that still exist within them, they revert very rapidly to living in those emotions.

So I've seen spirits go from the 6th sphere to the 3rd sphere, or the 2nd sphere, just through the course of our discussion. They can get back to the 6th sphere quite easily. They believe that they have dealt with everything on Earth that caused their damage, but as soon as you start talking about some of the things that have damaged them on Earth, they immediately start connecting emotionally to those things again. So the emotions are yet to be released from them. And one thing we've got to be careful of doing, and this one thing that we are frequently doing, is creating a facade that is based around the intellect. And this is what every spirit on the Natural Love Path has a tendency to do eventually. They eventually get to the point where they use their intellect to suppress the damaged emotions and they get to a place where they have distanced themselves so far from the damaged emotions that they now believe they are not damaged anymore. That's how far you can use your intellect to separate yourself. [00:11:11.11]

And so I put to you that actually the spirits that are in the 6th dimension are still in facade and one of the greatest facades they're in is the facade that their belief in God is accurate. By definition if they cannot progress any further than the 6th dimension, their belief in God must be inaccurate. But they believe it to be accurate. And so the 6th sphere or the 6th dimension or existence is actually a condition of facade. And you can progress personally to the 6th dimension in the spirit world while maintaining a facade. Is that not an interesting thought? [00:12:20.26]

6th sphere spirits use their intellect to create a state of love but are in facade

Participant: I'm a bit confused about that because I thought the third sphere was where you were in a place of truth and the facade isn't truth? [00:12:33.15]

I agree that the third sphere is a place of truth, but remember when I'm talking about progression in the spheres I'm talking about it in relation to the Divine Truth Path, the path of Divine Love. The majority of the time when I'm referring to all of these things I'm talking about that path, which is, by the way, the only way that's true. When you deal with an emotion truly in the third sphere, you'll enter a state of emotional truth. But that's not the case for a person who's on the Natural Love Path, which is not the path that God created but rather the path that man created. Mankind created the Natural Love Path through their inability to connect with God and as a result of that, what applied to the normal way God would expect things to happen in the spirit world, no longer applies to that path because they're using their intellect to create the condition of truth. So a Natural Love spirit in the third sphere will definitely accept the truth every single time.

Participant: Intellectually?

Intellectually! While at the same time emotionally denying the truth that exists! [00:14:00.12]

Participant: Within themselves.

Within themselves! And that's why when we talk to sixth sphere spirits, and we discuss the Divine Love Path with them, the majority of them must return to the 3rd dimension to learn how to actually feel the truth rather than intellectualise the truth.

So take a third sphere spirit, if he's on the Natural Love Path; what happens is that he'll get to the third sphere and he'll recognise "This emotion that I have, this damage that I have is the result of the way my mother smacked me all the time when I was little." And then he will go down the track of intellectualising himself away from dealing with the emotion, and when I say dealing with it, feeling the emotion completely, and he will try to be loving to his own mother, and try to be loving to any other woman. And he will eventually perfect that and then get into the 4th dimension. When I say perfect it, he's perfected it to the extent that now every single interaction he has with another person is driven by his intellect. He understands the truth intellectually but he still carries the emotion around with him. But the emotion is no longer dictating his action because his intellect is supreme. [00:15:28.18]

Now, think about your own life and how this happens on a day-to-day basis, because it's still happening on a day-to-day basis for many of us. We believe that we can intellectualise ourselves through the emotional process. Now we do this for all sorts of reasons. Many of the reasons are those that we listed earlier such as the feeling that we might be crazy if we go and do it the emotional way.

8.3. Society's view of "normal" emotions

I don't know if you've noticed, but today on Earth emotions are generally looked down upon unless the emotion is one of anger or rage or fear. No other emotions are really valued. For example, the average person who has a death of a loved one feels a large degree of grief. How long are they given to grieve? Often if it's not over within even a week people say, "Oh, they're just not dealing with it well". And what is the definition of dealing with it well? What is that? Where they have a bit of grief but they're not overcome by it. That's "dealing with it well".

You see, the way the world is, we have what I would classify as emotional limits placed upon us. This is the negative emotional limit that the normal person must feel and this is the positive emotional limit that the normal person must feel.

Society dictates that emotions should be felt within a "normal" range, to avoid being medicated or committed

Now while you feel the emotion within these limits you will be classified as normal and sane. As soon as you feel an emotion that goes above the normal range, that's far too happy. And below the normal range; that's far too sad. Now you're not considered normal and sane. Now you are crazy and you need medication. Is that not true? Can you see how this creates a facade? We are put between these very, very narrow acceptable limits. And while we're put between this narrow acceptable limit, we must now conform to this limit otherwise there is even the potential that we may be medicated or, if the emotion gets way below normal, then we get committed to an institution. So we get medicated or committed. God has created this very large and wide variety of personalities but what's happening to us is that as a society we're getting the personalities and we are shrinking down their potential to what we call normal. And then we are expecting not only ourselves but any other person to live by that definition of normal.

So in this society all you've got to do is go along and listen to a guy whose saying he's Jesus and you will automatically be outside of normal. All of you generally have experienced that. So as soon as that happens you're straight away in the medicated or committed bracket. And the problem is the guy who's saying he's Jesus might say a lot of sense but nobody's willing to even listen to that because if you say you're Jesus, you're also needing to be committed as well. Now while that might be the case for the average person who says he's Jesus, that's definitely not going to be the case for Jesus saying he's Jesus. But they forget about that. So any person who says he's Jesus is going to be committed.

So straight away can you see that the boundaries that are placed around our life are so tight that it's very, very hard to gain the courage to actually go outside those boundaries. Very hard! Because, not only do you have your own inner voice saying to you, "This is crazy. Am I crazy? Am I crazy?" but now you've also got society, family and all of the other general constraints that are placed upon you from those particular parts of our society, imposed upon you to such an extent that you've almost got to fight each one (although that's not very helpful either) before you can actually get to feel what you really feel. And that's if you wanted to feel what you really feel!

Now on the opposite side, if you do not want to feel what you need to feel in order to progress, in other words in order to get closer to God and in order to be happy, or in order to feel your damaged self, society is set up to help you do that to the best of your ability. Almost every single construction that we have in our current society is set up in order to deny the individual self and to focus on the collective normality.

8.3.1. The example of politics

Let's look at it in politics. How many parties do we have in Australia? None! (Laughter) Two primary parties! Perhaps they both have very similar beliefs, and so you have very little choice when you go to vote. Probably only one of those two parties is going to get into power and you must conform to whatever they say their belief system is at any one point in time, which of course changes. Obviously it doesn't change very much because if they change too much they will be outside of the norms of normal society and so therefore nobody would vote for them. And no person who wants power wants nobody to vote for them, they want everybody to vote for them. So the only way to get everybody to vote for them is to conform to the society's belief of normal. So that really inhibits change.

8.3.2. The example of religion

Let's look at religion. What's viewed as normal in religion? Well obviously it might a bit wider than what's viewed as normal in politics. However, the whole word "cult" is about what is normal and what is not normal is it not? And any time we see something not normal, we define it as a cult. Do you know that, historically, most of todays accepted world religions were at one point all defined as cults? That's basically a truth, because they were all at the time outside of what was normal and therefore condemned. And in fact people were murdered as a result of the choices that they made in order to be outside of society at the time. Every single one of today's Christian religions almost faced that fate in its original inception. And yet they've not learnt that. Because anytime a new Christian faith comes into being, they define that one as a cult, forgetting that they themselves, years earlier, were defined in the same manner, with the same terminology and the same stigma. [00:24:57.20]

You see, one way that we can prevent anybody from getting into damaged self or even realising their true self, is to keep them in the facade self and the way to keep in the facade self is by giving them a very, very tight set of guidelines by which their life is governed. And we conform to it voluntarily because if we don't voluntarily conform to it, we are forced into it by society. We're forced into it by family, we're forced into it by government, we're forced into it by religion, we're forced in it by the system that we live in. And so we voluntarily conform because we don't have the courage to do something different. And we don't have the trust in God and the faith in God needed to get beyond that state. So what I'm suggesting to you is that there are a number of qualities that need to be developed in order for you to confront this facade self in the appropriate manner. Let's look at some of these qualities. [00:26:22.17]

9. Qualities that are needed to confront the facade self

We've already seen the first couple. The first one was trust in God; that God is good. The second one was faith in God. The third is courage. Without courage and I'm talking a very strong personal courage here, you will not be able to confront your facade because the world is set up so that you don't confront it. The environment in which you live is set up so that you do not confront it. The spirits that are oppressing the Earth through their Earthbound activities desire you not to confront it because they use it in order to have their own desires met. Everyone around you is generally set up to not confront this facade, to have you not confront your own facade. And you're going to need courage to get out of that state and into a place where you really do want to confront your own facade, where you really do want to know the truth about yourself.

There are, of course, many qualities that are needed, but I just wanted to list a few for you. Another personal quality, which I've already mentioned, is integrity, personal integrity. Many of us know that we have addictions. Many of us even know what those addictions are, do we not? So we know our addictions, and we know what our addictions are. Which, by the way, are all created to support the facade. All of your addictions are created to support the facade. Whenever we know we have an addiction, which supports our facade, what do we do when we're given the opportunity to satisfy the addiction? Unfortunately, because of our lack of personal integrity, most of the time we choose to satisfy the addiction rather than not. And this is an issue we need to come to terms with.

9.1. We need integrity to choose to not live in our addictions

If we had personal integrity we would go, "No, no, I know this is an addiction. And I know that it's not bringing me closer to God. And I know that it's keeping me in my facade. And I know that it's not helping me get into my damaged self. And I know that I'm never going to see my real self while I'm in that state." So I need to have some personal integrity to say to myself, "No, I'm not going to have this addiction met anymore. And I'm going to feel my feelings about that not getting met anymore, whatever feelings come up as a result." And it's not just integrity to God or integrity to something else; it's actually integrity to yourself. Do you want to be your true self at some point in the future? Well surely we would, wouldn't we? If our true self is created perfect and that's the person we're going to enjoy the most, surely it makes sense that all of us would want to develop a desire to be your true self, at some point in the future. Now if you really want to be your true self at some point in the future, the facade has to disappear. And if the facade is maintained by my addictions, I am not honouring myself if I engage my addictions in a knowing manner.

For instance, let's say I still smoke. I'm not judging the action; I feel smoking is a minor addiction in comparison to most of the emotional addictions that we have. For example, you may know you have an addiction of badly wanting approval from a man, and you'll do almost anything for it, including going to bed with him if he's the right age. Or you badly have a needy emotion towards a woman and you'll do anything for her in order to get that needy emotion met. And you know you have this addiction. If you have the addiction and you decide to go ahead and do it anyway, can you see you actually desire to support the facade. And you have no hope in that state. You have no hope of ever releasing any causal emotion that will get you through your damaged self and you have no hope of ever becoming your true self. And yet the majority of us are still making decisions that we know are a part of our addictions and yet we're not considering that all we're doing is supporting a facade to our own self detriment. We're harming ourselves as much as anyone else. [00:32:32.19]

9.1.1. An example of sexually projecting at women

Participant: AJ, sometimes I allow myself to go to the addiction to feel how bad I feel. I'd just like your comment on that.

I don't feel there is any need to go into an addiction to feel how bad you feel. You know, the more powerful state is to actually not feed the addiction and feel how bad you feel because you'll definitely feel worse doing that than you will by feeding the addiction. [00:33:00.23]

Participant: I'll be specific. I can walk down the street and there's a girl over there and I really want to sexually project but I'm not going to because that's wrong. But when I was in Sydney I actually just said, "Stuff this, I'm just going down the beach," and I spent half a day just openly allowing myself to sexually project and it really overwhelmed me what a strong addiction this was for me. [00:33:39.06]

Yes, and you also damaged your soul and the soul of the girls who you were projecting at.

Participant: Okay. But at the time I almost felt like it was necessary to go there because then I was able to feel the emotions beneath that.

I understand where you went with it, but what I'm stating is that you could actually just sit there and feel how much you want to sexually project. And that would have taken you to exactly the same emotions without damaging your own soul or the soul of the girls you're projecting at. Do you see the difference? [00:34:13.13]

Participant: Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. See a lot of times we go, "Oh damn it, I'm just going to do it anyway." Can I point out to you that there's been murders because people have gone, "Oh damn it, I'm just going to do it anyway." And there's been rapes because people have gone, "Oh damn it, I'm just going to do it anyway." And there's been all sorts of violent abusive and damaging acts perpetrated by people because they just give up or become so frustrated with their own addictions that they decide, "I'm just going to go ahead with it anyway," in a justification that, "Oh, it's the only way to deal with it." And I'm saying to you that it is not the way to deal with it. If you act upon your addictions you are going to continue to support the facade and you're going to continue to damage your soul. So while you might have got into some emotions, you also now have the additional hurt that you've created to women and to your own soul to work your way through from a compensatory perspective. So can you really say that it's been beneficial for your soul? [00:35:29.08]

Participant: Obviously not.

The key thing is, it's okay to have the feeling. When I say it's okay to have the feeling, you're going to have to have the feeling in order to work your way through it. So feel the feeling inside of yourself, how much you want to perve at the women down the beach, for example. And then ask yourself questions about it, "Well what am I getting out of it? What does it give me that I don't get if I don't do it? What do I feel?" You know, you need to allow yourself to feel the feeling without actually projecting it or making the other person feel it. You see when we sit there and project at the other person we are now making them feel what's going on and that is an act that is not loving, which will always damage our own soul and also potentially theirs.

If you take any action to the extreme, it is a very interesting way of sorting out whether something is loving. For example, sitting down at the beach and perving at women seems fairly innocent in comparison to what other people do. Most people down the beach, particularly most men, do that anyway and so there's already a lot of justification that we're going to be fine doing that. But if we took that to the extreme of, "Now if I felt like murdering," what would I do? Would I go and get involved in a murder in order to feel my feelings about it? If I felt like raping, would I go and rape somebody just so that I can feel my feelings about it? Well obviously not. So if we wouldn't do that, then why would you do the lesser act in order to connect with the emotion? [00:37:21.22]

Participant: Specifically for that reason; because it feels lesser.

Well that's the problem; it feels lesser but there's still the unloving act that's perpetrated towards the soul of another. And that is going to damage our own soul. My suggestion rather than doing that is to feel the addictions fully. To really embrace them emotionally and to feel how they powerfully affect your life and then at least begin to feel what's underneath them, so, "Why do I feel like I've got to look at these women? What do I get out of it? What do I get out of projecting that at them?" So it's one thing to look at all these women but to do it in a real quiet manner where you're just checking it out but they wouldn't know or even see you doing it. But it's quite another one if I was looking at all these women and I was making sure every one of them felt it. That's quite another thing, isn't it? [00:38:19.21]

Participant: Yeah, now I'm pretty sly though it seems.

You think you're sly about it, do you, Alex?

Participant: Well I have been anyway.

(Laughs) I think at times it's been both, hasn't it?

Participant: Yeah.

And there are different emotional reasons for each one. The sly one is a different emotional reason to the overt one. I put to you the overt one is primarily to make the women feel smaller than you, to make the women feel like they're being abused, to make the women feel like they should be scared of you. So that's an act of power over them. The sly one might be different.

But the key is to feel it and to feel what you're doing without actually going ahead and doing something about it. Every time you act on an addiction you further establish your facade, you do not release your damaged self and you damage your soul further and potentially the soul of another further. So that's not appropriate. It's not an appropriate thing to do. But a lot of us do it because we sort of throw our hands up in the air and we go, "Stuff this, I'm just going to do it anyway!" And what would that be called? Isn't that called anger? When you do, "Stuff this, I'm going to do it anyway!" Isn't that anger? So anger is always letting me know that I'm still in my facade. So if we can do that and we can stop focusing on... [00:39:54.06]

Participant: Can I just clear that up in my defence? I don't do the overt one anymore.

It's alright, Alex.

Participant: I just feel publicly shamed.

We love you. (Laughs) It's a good question that you asked and very valid for the majority of people because the majority of people think with little things they should be able to get away with this and that but they wouldn't do the same thing with a big thing.

There's a very interesting verse in the Bible that says, "He that is faithful in least is also faithful in much." In other words, if we have personal integrity in the smallest of things we will also have personal integrity in the biggest of things. The world is very different to that. It sometimes has personal integrity in the biggest of things but because of all the different addictions in play and the different, you know intellectual arguments in play, it has very little integrity in anything small. That's why the majority of people can get away with all sorts of things because they have the attitude that, "Ah, if I'm going to get away with it, then I'll do it."

This is why many of you are afraid of about the potential of Earth changes, are you not? You're worried (and perhaps you feel you may have a right to be) that once people have no law, what would they potentially do? You see a person with personal integrity does not need law. They don't need law because they are a law unto themselves in a true sense. They don't need law because their personal integrity would prevent them from taking an action that's unloving. That's what would happen. Automatically! We only need law for people who want to break law. If we have integrity we don't want to break law. We don't do things just because we can get away with them.

Now the facade loves doing things and getting away with them. And we need to ask ourselves "What are we going to do about that?" Because we need to change; we need to get to the point where this facade no longer dominates our life. And remember that the world has created or helped create and sustain this facade so we are going to need some qualities inside of our soul to actually stop the facade from being. And these qualities are essential. Particularly these four qualities!

Now are there qualities you'd like to add to that list?

Participant: I have this feeling of being child-like, spontaneous and playful, experimental. My question is - I did want to add that to the list but I would like to ask - is that child-like feeling a feeling of the damaged self or a feeling of the real self? [00:43:37.29]

Well the child-like feeling that you describe will be in the real self. However unfortunately because we've been damaged, we can't necessarily respond to every desire that we have as a child would. You look at a lot of children nowadays; they have some pretty unloving desires, do they not? And that's actually a reflection of our unhealed parental, unloving desires. So just becoming like a child is not going to help us with regard to some of these qualities, because some of the feelings that we have inside of us are actually out of harmony with love even though they are child-like in their nature. And we need to be able to recognise the difference between a loving feeling and unloving one. We need to feel all feelings but not act upon the unloving ones. That's what we need to do. And to do that, we're going to have to have some integrity.

9.1.2. We have love of self when we don't meet our own addictions

Participant: The one I'd like to add to the list for myself is self-love; love of self, so that I'm not hard on myself.

You wanted to add self-love?

Participant: Yeah.

The problem with adding self-love to the list is that the majority of us don't really know how to love ourselves, and the majority of us do think that meeting our addictions is loving ourselves. And I'm saying to you, no! Meeting your addictions is not actually love of yourself because it's keeping you away from God and away from your true self. Unfortunately what we define as self-love is very, very different to God's definition of self-love. If we had God's definition of self-love there would be no facade because we'd actually see the facade as the creation of ourselves to avoid our true self. Therefore there would be no facade. But for all of us, pretty much, there is a facade of some kind existing, which tells us that we don't really understand self-love at all. And in fact saying self-love is going to help us through it is pretty unlikely because the majority of us are addicted to meeting our emotional addictions. We want to meet our emotional addictions and we believe doing that to be an act of self-love, when it's not. So if you were talking about God's definition of self-love, then I would have to agree with you. But it's very, very hard to get to God's definition of self-love without releasing the emotions of the damaged self. While we maintain the facade, we are never even going to understand self-love. [00:46:59.18]

Participant: So that's why we don't love ourselves?

Exactly! It's exactly why we don't love ourselves. You see we don't love ourselves because of the emotions of the damaged self. And they're the emotions we're trying to access but most of us aren't trying to access it because we want to maintain our facade. And while we're trying to maintain our facade, we're avoiding the emotions of the damaged self, but it's the emotions of the damaged self, once released, that are going to expose to us what self-love really is. So I don't think I can add self-love to that list, in terms of helping to release your facade. [00:47:46.14]

9.2. A desire for truth

Participant: Would desire to actually know the truth about yourself be a quality? [00:47:53.01]

Certainly! So desire for truth!

Participant: And then a loyalty to that truth but I thought maybe that was integrity. [00:48:02.29]

Well it would be a part of a true desire to have a loyalty to it, once you'd had a desire. The problem, I suppose, for many for us is this word "desire". Many of us think we have a desire but at the same time our actions prove to us that we don't. You see one great way to measure whether a true desire exists is to actually examine our actions.

9.2.1. Our actions indicate the sincerity of our desires

So, given the circumstance where I have the opportunity to have an addiction met by somebody else and I take the opportunity, in other words I get the addiction met by that person, can you say I have a desire for truth in that moment? Now I might be saying to myself, "I want to know the truth; I want to know God's Truth. I'm trying to live the Divine Love Path" and everything, but it's all just crap! Because our action is telling us that our true prayer, our true desire, is that we want our addictions met. That's what our action is telling us.

So we go to God, "Please help me get rid of this addiction", and the very next day somebody comes along to meet the addiction, which is actually an answer to your prayer, ironically; you wanted to deal with addiction. What's the best way to deal with it? Have it come up the next day and see how you go. So it comes up and what do we do? We slip into the satisfaction of the addiction and God's just saying, "Yeah, no desire yet. No desire yet. You said, what was your prayer? That you wanted to deal with the addiction, I'm giving you the addiction the very next day to deal with and you don't want to deal with it." So what's the true prayer? The true prayer is, "Please meet all my addictions". That's the true prayer. That's really what we want and we need to come face to face with what we want.

And the way to come face to face with what you want is by looking at your actions. So when a man does not listen to you ladies, do you get angry with him? That's because you want your addiction met. He doesn't have to listen to you. And when a woman comes along and doesn't make you feel good about yourself, fellows, do you get upset with her? Or do you try harder? Well you just want your addiction met. That's all you want. So our actions tell us how much we want to maintain the facade. But the majority of us, when the situation comes up, and I have an opportunity to get loving emotions from a woman and I'm a man, I take the addiction, I take the barter, I take hook, line and sinker as the saying goes and my actions are proving that I do not have a desire for the truth in that moment. Now I might have a desire for other truth, but I do not have a desire for that truth at that moment. [00:51:59.22]

Participant: I have a desire for truth but then we would also require humility of the truth we're praying for?

Certainly! Humility is essential but unfortunately for many of us humility is not very present because what is humility?

Participant: A willingness to feel it no matter where you are and what you're doing.

So it's a passionate desire to feel every single emotion. Now would your facade exist if that were the case? If you had humility fully, would a facade even exist? No. So we're trying list the things here that will help us get through the facade. And humility is not going to help you because while the facade's there you're proving you don't have any humility, or you have a limited quantity of it. [00:53:06.12]

9.2.2. We need to discover personal truth as well as God's Truth

Participant: Would not a better prayer for breaking down the facade be the desire for God's Truth within your soul?

Well I'm always referring to God's Truth so I'm assuming that it's God's Truth that we're talking about there. Certainly! Not necessarily our own, although our own is also important. You see even if our own truth is error, you've at least got to have a desire to know it. For example, let's say my actions are demonstrating that I'm willing to barter sexual feelings for the sake of feeling loved by the other person. Now if that's what my actions demonstrate, that tells me what my addiction is. Now if I felt my own truth I would feel the extent of that addiction. I would actually feel the actual addiction and feel how much it tugs on me and pulls me around the place and causes me to go in directions that are not very loving at times. I'd actually let myself feel how much I'm led by it. Now that's feeling or having a desire to feel my own truth about the issue, which is good. Now realise that obviously it's not God's truth because at one point, once you release some damaged-self emotions, you will no longer feel that tug to go in a direction that's unloving. But you do need to feel the tug in order to understand it exists and become aware of it. The majority of us are already in judgement of it before we even feel the tug and so therefore we have no chance of ever getting below the facade. So both forms of truth are very important, not just God's but also our own desire to feel whatever it is. Inside of you, Barb, is this rage towards your soulmate, for example. [00:55:00.06]

Participant: How do you know?!

How would I know that! There's this rage towards your soulmate. And there's rage towards God about your soulmate and who he is and how he is and how he looks and how he acts and all these different things. And you want God to make you a better one. (Laughter) Now the key is to feel that emotion while still understanding that God is good and God did create the perfect thing. But you still need to feel the truth of that emotion inside of you. When you feel the truth of the emotion inside of you, you will get to what is underneath that, which is the damaged self that creates those angers. That creates the anger towards God and the anger towards your soulmate. And I just thought a personal example would help. [00:55:51.23]

Participant: Thank you.

No worries.

9.2.3. Personal honesty

Participant: I think personal honesty should be on the list.

Yeah, I feel personal honesty is really important. I feel, though, that it's very much the same as a desire for truth. So if you truly desire truth you will desire to be honest with all persons in all situations at all times. And if you had integrity, even when you felt like not being honest, you'd still go ahead and be honest.

Let's say last week you happened to steal something. And the person was looking for it and they're going, "Where's this thing gone? I've got no idea where it is," And you're sitting there, feeling a bit guilty now because somebody's realised you've stolen something. And you're going, "Oh, do I own up to it? Nah! What I might do is just put it back," in order to avoid what you've done. And we do this quite frequently in our facade. We attempt to avoid our past actions by trying to correct it without actually being honest and truthful about them. If we had a desire for truth we wouldn't be able to just put it back without saying anything. And if we had personal integrity we wouldn't be able to do it either. So I feel that those two things create honesty. [00:57:46.21]

9.3. We need to break down the facade before we truly desire God's Love

Participant: I feel like for me with those I'd need to develop a desire to receive God's Love and to know God and develop my relationship with God.

Well I agree, but unfortunately it's very similar to the love issue, in that in our facade we often have no desire to receive love from God and every desire to receive love from anybody other than God. (Laughter) And let's define love. Love isn't the love that God would give us either, but rather it's the addiction being met; that's what we view as love. You see when we begin this process of growing our soul our true longings and desires are barely present. So while I do feel we need to develop this longing for God as our primary thing, the problem is that while we're addicted to maintaining the facade, it almost prevents the longing. So my feeling is that trust and faith are going to have a far greater effect on us than love is because while we're in our facade we cannot receive love and that's the sticking point with our progression.

You see we're going, "Please give me some love. Please give me love. I'm not feeling anything. Please give me some love. I'm not feeling anything". And then we say, "What's wrong with you, God? I'm not feeling anything!" Don't we? Not understanding that it's because we're in our facade that we're not feeling anything. And we need to break down this facade in order to feel something. And that's the issue we face.

There's a very good quote in the Padgett Messages that's worth remembering. It says that Divine Love does not open up the soul to help you receive Divine Love. Truth opens up your soul and helps you receive Divine Love. That's why it's not love that sets you free, but truth that sets you free. Love is the result of getting into harmony with more truth and having a longing and passionate desire for God that's sincere but the problem is that by nature our facade is completely insincere. Is it not?

And in an insincere place, how can we expect to receive Divine Love? We have to get into a sincere place to receive Divine Love. Now that requires me working through all of the reasons why I'm insincere and it's not God's Love that's going to help me do that, it's my spirit friends, it's other people who know more about truth, and receive love, and it's particularly my willingness to receive truth that's going to do that, my desire for truth. Any other ideas as to what you could add to the list to break through the facade? [01:01:17.19]

9.4. A desire for personal growth

Participant: It's probably a sub-element, but a desire to grow, a willingness to learn.

Yeah. I don't think it's a sub-element. It's a desire for personal growth. You remember in 2010 I gave that talk about passionately desiring positive change? Remember that talk? I gave you that talk for this reason: without a passionate desire to change or to grow, it's highly unlikely that we ever will. See, for many of us we have a passionate desire to have our addiction met and, by the way, a lot of those desires are very passionate, aren't they? You'll go out of your way to have an addiction met.

To give you an example! Many wake up in the morning with feelings of being very unsettled. Is that not the case for many? This feeling of being very unsettled is helped greatly by food and coffee, and so we choose the kind of food that is going to calm us down and make us feel more settled and full and satisfied. Now in that moment we're satisfying an addiction. We need to feel the unsettled feeling that we've woken up with for some reason and go further into it. But instead we use food to destroy it, to get rid of that feeling, to calm it all down and make it go away. Now in that moment we are demonstrating that our desire for personal growth is very, very low and in the wrong area - in our bodies! We're growing but not growing in our soul, right?

So remember that your actions will demonstrate whether you are really committed to personal growth or not. Your actions will show you that. And this is where you need to look at your actions. If you talk about your emotions with other people without even examining your reason for doing so, it demonstrates that you're not willing to look at your actions.

Why would I want to share my emotions with you unless it's for the point of teaching something? Why would I want to do it for any other reason? There has to be some kind of addiction involved for any other reason. People go, "But what about, I just need a friend?" Yeah, there's one addiction. But you've already got one. And it's the biggest person in the universe. Surely that's enough? You don't need another. If you really had this feeling with God, that's how you'd feel, is it not? So you've already got the friend you need. You don't need anybody else. You can live without any friends on the Earth and be completely happy. That's the reality.

And so my desire to live with friends on the Earth is an addiction. And while I'm in my addictions, do I really have a desire for personal growth? Do I really have a desire for the truth? Do I have any integrity? I'm not criticising the fact that we don't have these things but I am saying that if we really want to pray and deal with this facade properly, we need to pray about these qualities. We need to investigate these qualities within ourselves and feel about those qualities. Because if we don't feel about those things, we're never going to get to the point of releasing the damaged self and therefore we're never going to finish up receiving Divine Love, or very rarely, because it's only the release of some damaged self emotions that's going to allow enough space in us to receive some love.

And we're not going to expand as a soul. And we need to, to be happy. You don't want your old shrivelled up mess taken along with you for the rest of your ride. That mess was not created by God; I'm talking about the mess that's created from the moment of conception through the absorption of those emotions. We don't need to carry that with us for the rest of our life! We've already carried it with us for long enough, haven't we? But every time we feed an addiction and don't look at our actions, every time we don't want growth because we think it's too hard, every time we lack personal integrity or lack courage, every time we don't trust God or have faith in God, we're basically saying, "I'm going to keep my addiction, thank you very much". [01:06:34.24]

And at the same time we're expecting at some point in the future that we're going to be happy. And that's crazy. How can you ever be happy like that? You've had a whole life up to now of meeting your addictions, and has it made you happy? So is it going to make you happy in the future? What's really the definition of crazy? To keeping on doing the same thing and expecting a different result. And how many times do we do that? We keep going for that addiction. "Yeah, it didn't make me happy." Go for it again, "No it didn't make me happy. Oh, maybe I'm just not going for it as much as I need to go for it?" So we go for it in a big way. And that makes us really unhappy and we go, "Boy I'm so unhappy, I just don't know what's going on!" We're just trying to do the same thing over and again, meet the same addiction, meet the same addiction, not realising that we need to stop the addiction completely and just feel the emotions that are driving this addiction. Now we have a chance to actually get underneath and release and be happy. We have a chance then. So I feel yeah, desire for personal growth is a very, very important one. Any others that you'd like to add? [01:08:02.28]

9.5. Dedication and perseverance

Participant: Would we need dedication and perseverance?

Yeah I think those are pretty good qualities, Graham. In particular perseverance, but dedication and perseverance do seem to go along with each other, don't they? See, what happens a lot of times, we try something once and it doesn't work and so we stop. And when I say we try something once, I don't mean we try the same thing once, we'll just try something and it doesn't work the way we expected it to work and so then we stop and we don't stick to something. And many have done this with the Divine Love Path, with wanting God's Love. They start their longing for God's Love, they receive a little bit of it, they feel really good for the next couple of days or so, so there's proof that God actually has love to give. And then they long for Divine Love again, feeling like it's the same way, but nothing happens. And they go, "Well, I dunno, maybe God's got an off day today, or something" instead of going, "What's going on inside of me that is different today, compared to the last time I longed for God's love and received it?"

And you see if you don't persevere you wouldn't check the difference. You wouldn't examine the difference of what happened one day versus the other. Obviously if something has happened once then it can happen again. Some of you feel that you've never received any Divine Love at all; that's okay. Persevere. It is available to you but don't keep doing the same thing as you've been doing. So persevere with the desire but don't persevere with the same actions. Do you see the difference?

See, if you persevere with the same actions you are going to get the same results and that's not much good for anybody. If you persevere with the desire to eventually receive Divine Love and have some faith that you will eventually receive it if you deal with different things that are blocking you in your facade then eventually you will receive Divine Love and the moment you receive it you'll realise, "Yeah, I'm now getting to feel some of it" and then you'll start progressing even more rapidly as a result of that. So I do feel perseverance is important but not the kind of perseverance we would normally think of. It's perseverance with a desire for God. [01:11:09.27]

9.5.1. A desire to explore and experiment

Participant: Might you also add a desire to explore and experiment? Would that fit with what you're just saying there?

Yeah, I agree. Desire to explore and experiment is very, very important, although perhaps less important than the primary direct desire to experiment with your relationship with God. Remember I said that if you want to get through your damaged self at some point in the future you are going to have to have God in the picture. Remember too I said earlier that if you put God as your number one priority followed by the other things that you're investigating, then that will assist you to get to that place. So what I'm suggesting is that if you firstly have perseverance with your desire to connect to God, then that will help you get to the place where you also desire to experience other things.

Your real self is automatically an experimental being. It's a part of every one of your natures, believe it or not. Your true self wants to experiment. Now you think about how in your childhood it was shut down incredibly, this idea of experimenting. See, in your childhood, you learnt that you had to get it right the first time. If you didn't get it right the first time, then you would be punished in some way, usually emotionally, but oftentimes emotionally and violently. And so what we learned to do was to only experiment with everything that we were certain we'd achieve. And that's not true experimentation anyway. True experimentation is a part of our soul.

So yes, I feel perseverance is really, really important but in particular the desire for God. And there's another reason why that's the case and that is that if you don't desire God firstly, sooner or later one of your addictions will maintain a facade in some area of your life. For example, if you desire your relationship more than you desire God, then all the facades connected to the relationship will continue because they're not going to get confronted. And the reason is that your relationship with your partner is more important than your relationship with God. And while your relationship with your partner is more important than your relationship with God, it's now going to be your partner-based emotions that dictate what happens to your progression and if you're in a facade with them, you will maintain the facade. But if you have God first, it's impossible to maintain a facade and at the same time maintain a relationship with God permanently. It's totally impossible. We can only maintain a temporary relationship with God. While our desire for God is stronger than anything else, and our desire for God is passionate and truly sincere; now we'll have no trouble dealing with anything that comes along; dealing with the facade and getting into the emotion of it at some point.

Are there any others?

9.6. A willingness to feel out of control, let go of judgement and be humiliated are parts of letting go of the facade

Mary: For me, because I feel like I'm really facing off with my facade at the moment, there's three things that I thought of. A willingness to feel out of control because my facade is the thing that makes me feel most in control. That's an addiction in my facade. [01:15:53.28]

Yep.

Mary: So a willingness to feel out of control and a willingness to relinquish self-judgement, because that's another thing that keeps my facade in place. I believe that my facade is the thing that will get the love, and if I acknowledge my damaged self then I risk judgement - my own and other people's judgement. And that relates to the third thing which for me (I don't know if it's for everyone) is about a willingness to experience the emotion of humiliation because I'm so invested in the facade being the thing that is safe and presentable and lovable. Unless I'm willing to experience this feeling of humiliation I'm going to remain in facade. [01:16:37.26]

I agree with all those things, but my question would be what is going to help you have a willingness to feel humiliated?

Mary: Well I guess that's where my action... good question!

See, what I'm listing here is sort of the layer above that, or the layer that's the foundation of that. All the things that Mary's just mentioned, willingness to be out of control, willingness to be humiliated and what was the third? [01:17:09.08]

Mary: Judgement. To let go of my judgement!

A willingness to let go of judgement! They are all essential parts of you letting go of your facade but what's going to drive you to do that? [01:17:18.14]

Mary: Well maybe it's what you've already said. Trust and faith in God and that was my original question but for me, I feel like I've spent three years talking about having trust in God and faith in God. And as you said before, it was all crap because I didn't want to feel humiliated, I didn't want to give up judgement and I certainly didn't want to feel out of control. [01:17:41.12]

Well, you also didn't desire for emotional truth.

Mary: And the only thing that has brought me in the last couple of weeks completely face-to-face with my facade is that I changed my prayer to a heartfelt desire for truth.

Yeah.

Mary: And within 12 hours my world fell apart, so it works.

Yeah. And all you had in that case was just that one thing, wasn't it, that one thing?

Mary: Just a desire for truth.

Yeah.

Mary: Well I feel like perhaps the other things...

You had to have some courage.

Mary: Yeah.

You wanted some courage. But at that stage you didn't...

Mary: I had no integrity.

You didn't have any integrity.

Mary: That's how my world fell apart. I realised I have no integrity.

You didn't have much faith in God.

Mary: No. Well, no. Nope.

You didn't have much desire for personal growth. [01:18:30.00]

Mary: Nope. I said I did. I said I had trust, faith, desire for personal growth but until I...

You definitely had perseverance.

Mary: (Laughs) Dogged! Dogged, ridiculous perseverance because you can't get anywhere unless you want truth, and I didn't want truth so I was persevering. [01:18:47.22]

Persevering, persevering, but saying, "No truth, no truth, no truth," persevere, persevere, persevere, "No truth". [01:18:53.12]

Mary: Yeah. So it was desire for truth.

I suppose what I'm writing here is what I feel to be the foundation of what you need to start with, if you want to really deal with your facade. The things that Mary mentioned are essential, but they are above the foundation if you like, because without the foundation, dealing with those things is never going to happen. It's never going to happen. So I feel what we want to put in this list here are the things that are an essential foundation for us to deal with to release our facade.

10. Reasons for lack of trust in God

Participant: AJ, one of the things that I'm really struggling with is the issue of trust in God. How is that when I've had experiences when God has been there, and yet I find it so hard?

One of the main problems we have as individuals on the planet is that we don't trust our own experiences enough. We go into this place where we have an experience but we don't add the experiences together. It's quite strange in a way. Can I give you an illustration of it? Let's say one spirit came and talked and you heard them. You'd go, "Oh wow, it's the first time I've ever heard a spirit," and you might start chatting back and you hear a bit of conversation and then they go away and then say it didn't happen ever again. What would begin to happen? You'd start doubting, wouldn't you? "Maybe it wasn't a spirit. I don't know what's going on. Was it a spirit? Was it not?" Then you ask other people, "Do you think that was a spirit?" And of course they weren't involved in the interaction, so they are less likely to know than you whether it was a spirit or not. But anyway we hope that they'll come up with some magic solution, and so we ask them and we try to find out.

Now that was one experience, and if we just had one experience there is potential to doubt that experience. But then we have a second experience. And this experience is that another spirit comes along and we have another conversation, maybe a week later. We go, "Wow, a second experience" and then we start having a series of experiences, like one plus one plus one plus one plus one... eventually we have a hundred of them, let's say. Now what's the likelihood of you doubting that you're talking to spirits? Isn't it lower than before? If you add up all of the experiences together it has a cumulative effect on your soul of providing evidentiary proof that something is real.

Now, this is the same issue we have with trust in God. You see we often have the first experience, number 1, and we have the number 2 experience, where it's obvious that God was leading us and our guides were helping. We have another experience, and then we have another experience, but we only see them as 'ones'. We just see them as one experience. One experience, each one of them individually. We don't accumulate them in terms of the evidence that they're providing to our soul.

This is what's happening for you. You're not allowing the evidence to accumulate. You're looking at them all as individual issues and therefore you still feel the same as you did with the first issue. Now the question we've then got to ask ourselves is, "Why don't we want to accumulate them? Why don't we want to add them all together?" And you know there's only one answer to that. You know what that answer is? This fellow, fear! You are afraid to trust in God. You've had plenty of experiences that could cause you to trust God. [01:23:45.02]

Participant: Exactly. It doesn't make any sense to have fear.

So can I explain to you what the real cause of the fear is? It has nothing to do with trust in God. What do you reckon it might have something to do with?

Participant: Not trusting myself?

What is the main reason you don't trust somebody? You think about it in your day-to-day life. From an emotional perspective, when don't you trust somebody? The majority of times, what has been the triggering event that caused you to not trust somebody you previously trusted? You know it's much simpler than what you're all thinking. Can I say what it is? Because other people tell you not to and you believe them!

10.1. We are afraid of confronting our addictions and other people

Let me put it to you in a different way. If I've had heaps and heaps of experience of trust in God and I'm yet to trust in God, then there must be something else I'm afraid of. The only other thing that I'd be afraid of is other people, isn't it? I must be afraid of other people's opinions in some way. Now why would trust in God make me afraid of other people? Can you see that it's because when I trust in God and I fully embrace my relationship with God, I might finish up losing other people in my life, I might finish up losing my current situation in some way. I might decide to leave my current home and leave my current life and leave my current safety and security, all of which I am heavily addicted to.

When we've had hundreds of experiences that we can trust in God and proof that we can, and yet we still don't trust in God, it's got nothing to do with God. It's got everything to do with how great our fear is of other people in comparison to God and what other people think we should be doing with our life in comparison to God. You can see that if you do fully embrace your relationship with God, and you do fully feel what you feel in that relationship and you do fully embrace the actions that you desire to take, there are going to be people in your life that are confronted. [01:26:53.00]

Participant: There already are.

And you're afraid of the results of that. So you would rather say, "I have all these experiences and yet I don't trust in God," than you would say, "I've had all these experiences with God but I'm terrified that if I act upon them my life will fall apart". [01:27:18.05]

Participant: I guess a bit of what I'm doing at the moment is challenging; taking a 3 week sabbatical to be self-responsible and God-reliant and really facing head-on the addiction that I have with John, expecting him to rescue me.

Yep. And this is an interesting thing that a lot of people do. The problem is that we often have plenty of evidence that we should trust God and plenty of evidence that we need to have faith in God and we can have faith in God. The problem is that we also have plenty of evidence that people around us will potentially get into a rage; a potential destruction of our own life may occur through the hands of others, and I'm not saying John's like that because I don't feel he is, but I feel you're afraid of that, certainly. [01:28:17.22]

Participant: I think I'm more afraid of my father than him.

Exactly! It always gets back to what's unhealed in the childhood, to the real persons you're afraid of. So the real persons you're afraid of are your mum and dad and what they will think and what they will feel about all of this. And that's what often guides our action and so we then go, "I can't trust God, I can't trust God", but it's all a furphy. It's all just a distraction from the truth which is, "I can trust God but I don't want to do what God seems to be leading me into because all these other people will be really upset with me." [01:28:55.13]

10.2. Investment in our own and other people's opinions of us

Participant: See, the other emotion that's really coming up a lot in this past week is how deep the fear of judgement is.

Yep, and it's very important to understand this about the facade; our facade is all about our investment in our own or others' opinion of myself. [01:29:45.19]

Participant: So the only way really to get through that is just to keep challenging it, isn't it? To keep facing it head on, and to keep feeling it! [01:29:55.21]

Yes. Start challenging your own opinion of yourself, both in a positive and negative direction. Many of us have a far higher opinion of ourselves than we deserve and many of us also have a far lower opinion of ourselves than we deserve. And often we have a mixture of the two on different subjects. And then we are also heavily invested in other people's opinion of us. We're decimated by somebody just saying, "You're no good". Decimated internally! Do you feel you're ever going to be decimated like that if you're at-one with God? Obviously not! The fact that we're decimated indicates our investment in the façade. It's something that indicates to us that we desperately want other people's good opinion of us and we're willing to do and barter almost anything to gain it. That's what maintains this facade.

And we need to allow ourselves to feel our fear about that. It is fear that guides a lot of those actions and decisions that we make and we need to allow ourselves to feel the fear that we have in disappointing just one other person. You know, if somebody comes along and said, "I'm really disappointed in you," the majority of us would be decimated by that. It would affect many of us for weeks. Of course the higher the opinion of the person you have, the worse the effect. So if someone who you have low opinion of comes to you and says, "I'm disappointed in you", you go, "Oh yeah, no worries!" But if your mother or father come along and say, "I'm really disappointed in you," it's like, "Urgh." And this is where our facade begins. We try to be what they want us to be in order to not be ourselves because they don't want to know ourselves and so we then start growing and wanting to not know ourselves either. That's our end result.

So my suggestion is, look at your investment in your own opinion of yourself and also look at your investment in other people's opinion of you. The more you do that, the more you will have some desire for truth. If you can release the emotion of investments in others and what they might potentially do, the irony is that it's highly unlikely that the other people will do what you think they're going to do. Highly unlikely! However if you hold on to the emotions it's highly likely they're going to do exactly what you think they're going to do. And there we are, sitting there justifying, holding on to the emotion, thinking it's safer but we're just creating an event that's highly likely to occur because of the fear that we have. It's ironic, but we often do this. [01:33:22.08]

11. Fears about not being loved

Participant: AJ, did you just want a reminder about the fear of, "Will I be loved?" [01:33:32.17]

Yep! I feel that you're always going to fear that until you get in contact with your damaged self. There are some emotions that you're always going to have until the emotions of the damaged self are released. The majority of us were never loved, really. And you have a right to be afraid of it on the planet because the reality is that very few of us on the planet are ever loved.

However, we can release the emotion just by allowing the fear to be present. So I feel that with regard to this issue of love, and our fear of never being loved, it does not have to guide us in dealing with our facade. It doesn't have to change how we deal with our facade. For example, if we just come to terms with the fact that we haven't been loved by anybody, then we'd already feel the fear of never being loved.

One of the things I had to come to terms with in a really harsh manner in my own life was where not a single person who was previously in my life would speak to me. Not a person would visit me and I was totally alone. My own children wouldn't visit me or see me or allow me to see them, and my parents wouldn't do so either. Everyone who was close to me in my life, all the friends that I had, none would speak to me, and so I was actually totally alone. And then I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't loved. Now I suggest to you that you don't have to go through all of that. Instead you just need to feel that you weren't loved.

But I refused to feel it until I was completely by myself in this situation in my life, nobody around me, realising that if I died, three months later they'd find me because the rental would be due and they'd come around looking for why it wasn't paid. And I realised that nobody would come to my funeral. Not a single person. And I had to get to that stage to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't loved. And ironically it helped me a lot because I grieved how much I wasn't loved all through that and I came out the other side. We don't have to go that far but some of you may, where you create that in your own life, to actually feel that emotion. But my feelings are that you don't have to go that far. You do need to come to the truth and that is that in our childhood we were never loved. Now many of you are loved now by somebody else but many of you were not loved in your childhood and that's the reality of that emotion. [01:37:17.26]

12. Qualities that are needed to confront the facade self (continued)

12.1. Using our will in the right direction

Participant: AJ, I'm wondering would strength of will go on this list? The reason I'm asking is that I finally realised that in my damaged self my will was really squashed as a child and for me to be able to discover and develop some courage I've had to activate my will. [01:37:40.16]

I agree that is essential. Unfortunately, your pure passionate desire is not going to be present until some of the damaged self is released but I do feel that your will is an essential part of working your way through the facade. However you've got to be honest about your will. Most of us are not working through our facade but living in our addictions. We're still using our will to get our addictions met. We can use our will in the wrong direction and it won't help us at all. [01:38:25.25]

Participant: So it could be very self-reliant rather than God-reliant.

Yes. We need to use our will in a different direction rather than in this direction of fulfilling our addictions. It's a will to discover the truth, the desire to discover the truth about ourselves and using our will in that direction rather than using our will just to get our addiction satisfied and met. [01:38:54.03]

Participant: Sometimes I felt the spirits around me almost wanting to close me down and when I've actually remembered my will then things seem to shift. [01:39:03.29]

Yeah, very much so! And what's helped you there is recognising that spirits are influencing your will and that's again part of the desire for truth, wanting to know that. Your free will is the most incredible gift that God has given you besides Her Love. Your free will is the most incredible gift. And it's not dependent on God's Love in the sense that you can exercise it out of harmony with God's Love if you wish. God created the ability in you to do that, and for that reason it's one of the most powerful gifts you can ever receive, that you've already received without asking for, whereas God's Love cannot be received without asking for it! Your will, and the power to have your own will, was given to you as a gift without even asking for it.

Many of you feel that it's a wrong decision God made, because you feel like, "Why did God give me free will? Why didn't God do this or why didn't God do that? Why does God give other people free will because then they can hurt me?" And there's all these other questions that we have but the reality is that this gift of free will that every single human has had bestowed upon them is a very important gift. And it's essential to use that will in the right direction. It's not just an issue of will; it's the issue of where you use it in terms of what decisions you make as a result of it. [01:40:39.06]

Participant: So would that definitely belong in the real self?

Yes. Desire for truth, desire for personal growth and those kinds of desires which will help you exercise your will in the right direction. All of this is about your will in fact. This is all about your courage, integrity, desires; these are all part of your free will and how you exercise it. [01:41:02.09]

Participant: I just feel sincerity is on... would be on the list.

I feel this is where integrity comes in. We need to know when we're being insincere. We're not going to have true sincerity right from the beginning because it's impossible to have true sincerity right from the beginning when we're damaged. True sincerity is going to come over time; with the release of different emotions we'll get more and more true sincerity. What's going to govern us releasing those emotions? It's only our will exercised in the right direction and desire for truth and desire for growth that's going to do that. So I feel that while those things are important, it's not going to get you through your facade. [01:41:56.29]

12.2. Compassion for our emotional damage

Participant: I feel gentleness or compassion or tenderness but not as an avoidance. [01:42:08.13]

I understand where you're coming from, yeah.

Participant: We tend to be harsh and judge mistakes.

The problem again is that usually that doesn't happen until we start releasing some of the damaged self. I know because it's taken me years to have some compassion for myself. Right at the beginning of my process I had no compassion for myself at all and part of the facade was to not have compassion for myself because it was treated by family and others that having compassion for yourself was letting yourself off the hook. It was treated in such a manner that I couldn't have compassion for myself. Compassion for yourself is really important but I don't know if it's going to get you through your facade.

Compassion for your damage will definitely get you through your facade. In other words, as Mary said, it's not having a judgement of the damaged self, no matter how bad it is or how bad it looks. Many of you don't realise yet, and from our discussion tomorrow you might have more of a realisation, how damaged our souls actually are at times. And we need to have some compassion for that and not huge amounts of judgement and anger towards ourselves. It's the same as the emotion of self-punishment. That's not a good emotion to retain. If you have some compassion for yourself then you won't have self-punishment. But it's very hard to have that right at the beginning because the damaged self was taught to punish itself by our parents. So until you release some of those emotions you won't actually get over that and the problem is that when you're in your facade you haven't yet released those emotions. You can intellectually try to have some compassion, but it's going to be very hard to have true compassion until you've released some of those emotions.

12.3. Lack of will vs. lack of courage

Participant: Hi, AJ. I would like you to talk a little more about what the will is.

Can I save that for another talk? It's the primary gift that you've been given and it deserves more than a five minute discussion. To me it deserves a series of talks! (Laughs) Free will is such an important part of what God had given you as a gift, but it's also very important that you learn how to use it harmonious with love and the majority of people in the spirit world in particular do honour the sense of free will they have but are often using it out of harmony with love, not understanding the damage that they can do with their will. So our will exercised in a negative direction can do huge amounts of damage and our will exercised to support our facade can do huge amounts of damage not only to ourselves but also many souls around us. People that many of you might have condemned in the past, like Hitler, Stalin - world rulers who have done lots of destruction - they have been living in their facade and exercising their will in that direction and you do tremendous amounts of damage in that regard. So rather than talk about will now, I'd rather talk about it in terms of exercising in a positive direction and the effects it has, and exercising it in a negative direction and the effects it has.

Participant: Yeah I'd also like to know what it is because I heard I was weak-willed.

Right, okay!

Participant: It's almost like an internal slave driver for me. So when you talk about will, I just want to turn off.

Well, I would say weak-willed was the indication that there is a lack of courage. To me that's a part of will but it's not the only thing to do with free will. Often if you are accused of being weak-willed you're actually being accused of having a lack of courage. [01:46:28.12]

Participant: It was more like, you know, not finishing things, not wanting to do things.

Yeah well, what's the only reason you would not finish things? Because you don't want to follow through, to me that's not a will problem, that's a fear problem. [01:46:46.21]

Participant: Yeah, you know, I'm happy to wait for another talk but I would like a bit of a definition of what the will is. [01:46:52.25]

Yeah. Sure. To me what you've just indicated is a fear problem though, not a will problem. When we say things like being weak-willed not having direction and those kinds of things, a lot of that is all about fear. It's not about will at all. The reality is that in our real self there is very strong will and desire and in fact God's given us that as a part of our entire existence. We are never going to lose our ability to make our own choices and decisions because it's a gift God's given us right from the beginning. The issue you face is that you start some jobs and don't finish them. That's not about will, or the definition of free will, that's about desire and fear, which are totally different parts of will. [01:47:48.24]

Participant: I wanted to say there's a really cool movie about will that I watched with Tris and it's called "The Green Lantern".

"The Green Lantern"!

Participant: Yeah. And will is green.

Will is green.

Participant: It's all about will.

Yeah. "The Green Lantern"! I'm running out of steam so I'm going to have to stop soon. [01:48:13.27]

Participant: I was just thinking about repentance. Would that...?

Yeah. Unfortunately in our facade we're not very hot on repentance. In our facade we don't want to be humble, we're not hot on repentance. We view repentance as a bit of a thing for other people to do when they've damaged us. We don't really have much of a longing for that and the reality is that it's only when we start getting down into this damaged self that we start actually having a lot of these emotions that you're talking about now.

I feel that this list that we've made is the foundation of getting through the facade.

Once you get through the facade, you're going to have lots of other emotions to feel but they'll be relatively easy to feel in comparison because you've learnt to have these as a foundation, a cornerstone of your progression. This foundation is important. Without the foundation you will have some very hard issues to deal with in the future and you'll give up without the foundation. But if you get these desires and abilities and these qualities inside of yourself, it doesn't matter how hard things get, it doesn't matter how long it takes, it doesn't matter who comes up or where they come up, whether you've arrived in the spirit world or you do it here, it makes no difference. You will still get to your real self and you'll still get to God. If you don't have these qualities sooner or later the lack of one of those qualities will be exposed.

And for many of you it's being exposed quite rapidly at the moment. For some of you the lack of these qualities are being exposed day after day. The key is to go, "Okay, this is telling me again that I don't have integrity". You see, a lot of us go, "Ah no it's telling me that the other person should do the right thing by me". Instead of going, "Well, where's my part in this? Where's my lack of integrity? Or my lack of courage, or my lack of desire for truth, or my lack of growing?" or, "What's going on for me?"

If you get these qualities and develop them within yourself, you'll rapidly get through the facade and to be honest it's possible to get through the facade in a matter of weeks, and into damaged self emotions. That's the reality. But if you don't have some of these qualities, if some of these qualities are missing in you, it'll take you years to get through your facade. There are people in the spirit world that have been there for a thousand years, two thousand years, five thousand years, who are still not through their facade. I have friends from the first century who are still in the hells, not through their facade. They're still yelling and screaming at me about what I did to them and holding on to their facade. The reality is that when you're in this place; you can blame everybody around you and not look at yourself.

13. Closing Words

So hopefully what I've done today is just help with this whole issue of the real self. The facade self, the damaged self and the real self are all a part of us right at this point in time. The key for us is to get through each layer and these qualities will be necessary for us to get through the facade layer. What we're going to do in the future is talk about some of the other layers, the damaged layer and the real self, but we'll talk about what you're going to need to get through the damaged layer. A different set of qualities, but these qualities are essential for you to invest in.

I often gave an illustration in the first century about your investments and one of the illustrations was of a man who was a farmer and a land owner and he just kept building bigger and better things. Bigger store houses, bigger property. He'd store all the stuff in it, saving up for his future. And when he died none of those things went with him. And he was left with one investment, the investment he placed in his soul. And he hadn't many investments in his soul.

And this is where we need to consider ourselves. We need to go, "Okay, how focused am I on investing in my soul first before I invest in other things?" Look at the time that you spend investing in your soul in comparison to other things. That doesn't mean to not have self-responsibility because that's a part of investing in your soul. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't have a job because that's a part of caring for yourself and investing in your soul. But it does mean that our soul needs to be a primary part of our investment. God, and then our soul! And if we can focus on that, we will actually get through the facade; if we develop some of these qualities, we'll get through the facade. We'll stop allowing the intellect to influence our choices and decisions and influence how we process through things and we will get into the real damaged self. And you want to be in the damaged self because if you get into the damaged self you're one step closer to your real self. That's what we want to do.

So hopefully that's given you some hope for the future in terms of working your way through the facade and getting into the deeper parts of things emotionally and also working through some qualities that are essential for your long term future. Those qualities are all essential for your long term future, now on Earth and also in the spirit world. They are essential qualities that are really important to develop.

I hope you have a good night, tonight, and for those of you who feel up to it, we'll see you tomorrow. (Applause)

