LET'S GET RIGHT INTO THE NEWS,
OKAY.
NOW IN A TENSE EXCHANGE
YESTERDAY, A U.S. NAVY DESTROYER
FIRED WARNING SHOTS AT
FAST-APPROACHING IRANIAN NAVAL
SHIPS.
SO OF COURSE OUR PRESIDENT-ELECT
TWEETED ABOUT HOW OVERRATED
MERYL STREEP IS.
THAT'S WHAT, PEOPLE ARE STILL
BUZZ BEING MERYL STREEP'S SPEECH
LAST NIGHT AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES
WHERE SHE TOOK DIRECT AIM AT
DONALD TRUMP CALLING HIM A
BULLY.
OF COURSE TRUMP RESPONDED IN A
TWEET SAYING STREEP IS QUOTE ONE
OF THE MOST OVERRATED ACTRESSES
IN HOLLYWOOD.
I MEAN SURE, SHE'S NOT SCOTT
BAIO, BUT--
(LAUGHTER)
BUT OVERRATED, YOU KNOW, LIKE
WHEN A REALITY STAR WHOSE FILED
FOR BANKRUPTCY FOUR TIMES IS
ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES.
IT'S LIKE THAT.
I MEAN--
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
OVERRATED.
TRUTH IS, THIS WAS ACTUALLY GOOD
NEWS FOR MERYL BECAUSE MOST
OVERRATED ACTRESS IN HOLLYWOOD
WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY AWARD SHE
HADN'T WON YET.
(LAUGHTER)
I MEAN I GUESS IF YOU WANT TO
SEE REAL ACTING, JUST WATCH THE
REPUBLICAN CONGRESS AS THEY
PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING'S GOING
TO BE OKAY FOR THE NEXT FOUR
YEARS.
(APPLAUSE)
THIS ALL STARTS BECAUSE MERYL
STREEP CRITICIZED DONALD'S
TRUMP'S IMPERSONATION OF A DIGS
ABLED PERSON.
AND YOU KNOW IMPERSONATING
DISABLED PEOPLE IS ESPECIALLY
OFFENSIVE TO HOLLYWOOD ACTORS
BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THEY WIN ALL
THE AWARDS.
COME ON.
I THINK IS REALLY UNFAIR.
I DO.
TRUMP IS SO SELF-CENTERED AND
VEIN, HE DOESN'T JUST HAVE A
TRUE APPRECIATION FOR STREEP'S
ACTING.
HE DOESN'T.
I MEAN LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HER
MOST MEM ORABLE MOVIE SCENE OF
ALL TIME.
>> BUT SHE DID.
>> BUT SHE MIGHT HAVE.
>> BUT SHE DIDN'T.
>> WHOOOO CARES.
I MEAN IT'S AMAZING.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
(APPLAUSE)
A LOT OF TREMENDOUS ACTING IN
THAT SCENE.
IN OTHER NEWS, TODAY MARKS A
REALLY IMPORTANT BIRTHDAY.
EVERYONE IS CELEBRATING THE TEN
YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE IPHONE
TODAY.
THIS IS-- WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
(LAUGHTER)
SOMEONE WHOOOD AND SOMEONE WENT
WAH, LIKE I HAD FORGOT TO GET A
CARD.
THIS IS NICE, THE SAMSUNG GAL
AKY NOTE 7 EVEN CELEBRATED WITH
A FIREWORKS DISPLAY.
MEANWHILE, WHO ARE YOU?
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT PHONES.
MEANWHILE WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM SOME DUCT TAPE YOUR DAD'S
MOT ROLEA FLIP PHONE IS TURNING
17.
AND LASTLY THIS CREATED A STIR
AT A BAPTISM SERVICE IN THE
SISTINE CHAPEL ON SUNDAY POPE
FRANCIS ADVISED THE MOTHERS IN
ATTENDANCE THAT IT WAS OKAY FOR
THEM TO BREASTFEED DURING THE
CEREMONY.
NOW THIS IS TRUE.
HE SAID THIS BECAUSE THERE WERE
MANY BABIES WHO WERE CRYING.
AND I LOVE THAT EVEN THE POPE IS
LIKE OH MY GOD, DO WHATEVER YOU
HAVE TO DO, JUST SHUT THEM UP.
(APPLAUSE)
THIS IS, IT'S RELENTLESS.
BEFORE THIS THE ONLY PLACE WHERE
YOU COULD SEE NAKED FEMALE
BREASTS IN THE SISTINE CHAPEL
WAS ON THAT WALL, THAT WALL, THE
ENTIRE CEILING, THAT WALL, THAT
WALL, OH LOOK, THERE'S A PENIS.
