

Always Wanted

(Xander Barns Series Book 1)

By

Sarah Tork

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Warning: This book contains dark and crude humour, bad language, sexual scenes, and includes scenes that may be offending. Recommended for ages 18+

SMASHWORDS EDITION

Copyright @2013 Sarah Tork

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to it and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, any place, events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Images From: http://www.dreamstime.com/

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Title Page

Copyright Page

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Wanted Always (Xander Barns Series Book 2) Preview

PROLOGUE

Wednesday, October 31

Kyle Matthews' annual Halloween bash was Ottawa's best party of the year. I've been invited every year since I was a freshman in high school. This was the first time I'd considered not going.

I drove my 2002 red hatchback to the curb on Raven Street. Kyle's house was the next block up, on Detroit Street, but I was two hours late and there was no parking on his street. I got out of the car and pulled down my short black skirt – it had ridden up after five minutes of obedience.

_Why'd I pick this costume again?_ I thought as I struggled to walk in my five-inch, shiny-black stiletto sling-back heels on the bumpy sidewalk.

_Oh yeah... Ben._ I remembered why I picked this very daring, very risqué costume. I hoped the 'why' was at the party right now, depressed and sitting in a corner because I wasn't there by his side. The thought of him moping gave me a push deep down and my strides became wider, more confident. Kyle's house was soon in view.

Two days ago, my boyfriend Ben and I had a huge fight – he wasn't very happy with me. What was wrong with me? Well, out of all our friends, I was the only one who didn't finish university, and the only one who still worked part-time at a place like 'Ronald's Ice Cream Palace'. I was a laid-back twenty-two year-old with no ambition, and apparently people were over this shtick of mine.

I thought – no, I knew – Ben was a little embarrassed of me. But there was already a club of people disappointed in me, with my mother as the president.

Tonight, I was going to wave the white flag. I'd gotten off work early and put a lot of effort into my costume. After a long time of Ben not being proud to stand beside me, I wanted tonight to be a fresh start for the both of us.

Walking up the hard wooden steps to Kyle's front door, I was immediately engulfed in clouds of smoke. There were about twenty people scattered across his porch drinking from red plastic cups and smoking cigs like it was an Olympic sport. Waving the large clouds away, I entered the house and was taken aback. Crowds upon crowds of people filled every square inch of the place; the only free spot was the staircase, which was roped off. From the staircase landing, the DJ booth was set up there, playing a mix of rock and roll and pop.

It seemed like Kyle had invited our entire high school class, along with everyone he'd met in university. I took a moment to let the quantity of people squished inside sink in. I stood underneath the doorframe with my back to the wall, just so I wasn't in the way of people trying to get in and out. I stood there longer than I should have.

And did I mention what my costume was?

A freaking sexy librarian!

I looked down at my tiny black skirt and the half mesh, half silk, lace-trimmed stockings that stopped mid-thigh. My tight, red corset tank top was trimmed with black lace and pushed my C's up sexily. Hopefully Ben would appreciate that. Just to be a little conservative, I had a waist-length black blazer, which I left unbuttoned. My long dark brown hair was piled atop my head in a high bun with loose strands curling out to give me that messy-sexy look. To finish off the look – and to make it believable – I'd left my contacts at home and wore my designer, dark-framed, rectangular glasses instead.

_Excuse me, sir, where's your library card?_ I imagined asking Ben in a hushed, sexy voice. Think phone sex operator. I laughed nervously at the thought and glanced down at my costume, scanning it for the thousandth time. I hoped it read 'sexy Librarian'.

_Enough!_ I took my first step forward and was going to keep going no matter what happened. I needed to find Ben. I pushed through the first layer of costumed bodies surprisingly easily.

_They're drunk,_ I reminded myself as I squeezed through another layer of bodies. As I got closer to the centre of the party, the bodies had a bit of space between them and I decided to be slightly more graceful with manoeuvring in case somebody noticed my forcefulness and decided I needed to be taught a lesson.

Trying not to step on any food or other unfortunate things, I weaved through the crowds of people, some of whom I knew but most I didn't. The lights had been dimmed, bordering on pitch black. Thankfully, the light of numerous cigarettes and lighters prevented me from tripping many times. I glanced up to see massive clouds of smoke dancing in the air, underneath people began jumping excitedly when the DJ put on a pumping dance track _._

Well that sucked balls. I loved drunk dancing, especially with random people.

Find Ben first, get the makeup/apology session in order, then you can get drunk and start dancing with people you don't know!

I pushed through another huge wave and stopped in front of a circle of people standing in front of one of the drink stations.

As I joined the end of the line, a familiar voice yelled over the music. "Dude!"

I glanced to the front of the line, making sure the voice belonged to whom I thought. Filling his red cup at the keg was Ben's best friend, Charlie.

Success!

I squeezed passed two guys who were too drunk to notice me cutting. "Charlie!" I called out. He didn't look up from filling his cup. I pushed my way around a few more drunk people in the line until I was right behind him.

"Charlie!" I screamed again.

He flinched, dropping the keg hose and spilling a few sprays of beer. Angrily, he craned his neck to see who had startled him. I expected him to calm down once he saw that it was only me, but his eyes just widened in shock.

"Marisa?" Charlie blanched, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

"I'm so happy I found you, Charlie," I exclaimed, close to his ear. "Shit, this place is freaking packed!"

"You came...that's.... great," he slurred hesitantly, clutching his red cup tightly to his chest. We moved out of the line and he took a long gulp of his beer.

Taking a deep breath as if he needed clarity, he asked. "Why'd you come?"

"What do you mean why did I come?" I spat, anger suddenly taking me over.

"I mean... Ben said you weren't coming..." Charlie looked nervous as he swung his head from left to right.

A new wave of paranoia took control of my body, so I looked around too. _Is something bad about to happen?_ I turned my attention back to Charlie. His body was all wobbly and his eyes were red. He was obviously drunk, so it was probably just the alcohol making him paranoid. I shook my jitters away and laughed at his bumbling idiocy.

"I'm surprising him," I explained, stretching to reach his ear, because even with heels on, elevating my 5'6-ish stature, he still towered over me at 6'3.

I twirled and posed in my costume, hoping he'd appreciate the effort since I didn't normally try to be all sexy and seductive. His forehead was creased all of a sudden, like he was feeling strained or something.

What the fuck is going on?

"What's wrong?" This was not the sort of response I thought I'd be getting tonight. I had spent so much time convincing myself to walk out of my house like this; I didn't dress like this – ever!

Charlie's hands grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

I gasped. "What are you doing, Charlie?" He was slowly pushing me towards the door.

"Outta the way... Outta of the way!" Charlie urged at our fellow partiers.

Once we are at the door, the shock and confusion of his actions had worn off. I yanked my shoulders free of his grip, spinning around to face him.

"What the hell!!" I yelled at him, hands on my hips.

He wiped sweat off his forehead, looking around the room again before answering me. "You have to go, Marisa! You shouldn't be here right now."

"What's your problem?" I yelled. I was beyond pissed off.

Will nothing I do ever make these people happy?

"Are you too embarrassed to be seen with me too, Charlie?" I accused, my finger in his face.

He pushed my hand down. "No! That's not it. It's just.... you should go home." He was actually pleading for me to leave.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere 'til you tell me why you're acting like a crazy asshole?" Crossing my arms, I stood firm. I was going to get some answers.

"Marisa, you need – Oh shit!" He looked up and grabbed his forehead, uh-oh style. "Shit..." he whispered, staring past me.

I turned around to see what had him so riled up – not knowing that it was me who was going to be the one all riled up.

"What the hell!" I yelled at Charlie before witnessing something I never thought I'd ever see.

My mouth had dropped in horror but I quickly snapped it shut, not wanting any unfortunate things to come shooting out spontaneously. My eyes widened, taking in the horrific scene.

"Ben?" I murmured. He'd come as Dracula and his cape was wrapped around a short little redhead, whom he'd had against the window on the porch. "Oh my God, I think I'm going to be sick."

He was with another girl.

He was with another girl, right in front of me and their lips were in a tangled saliva dance.

My insides spiralled out of control. My heart tried to hit the eject button but it wouldn't work, I was in too deep and I wanted to vomit. I could feel bile stretch its way up my throat, but I swallowed it back down.

I was frozen while everything inside me wanted to jump high in the air and smash through that window.

All I did – all I could do – was stare. All my effort, my willingness to wave the white flag, to give in to him, was for nothing. He was too busy playing find-the-treasure with some little redheaded skank.

*~*~*

Wednesday November 21

My hand shook as I held my cell to my ear. I yelped in shock as the icy surface touched my ear.

Am I too hot or is my phone too cold?

As I waited for my call to be answered, I rested the back of my hand against my forehead. Heat resonated against my hand and a sheen of sweat glistened from it when I lowered it. Dinner had been crazy with Mom screaming at me in frustration because I wouldn't take Ben back...

"I've never met anyone as selfish as you!" My mother had yelled at me from across the dinner table. "Jesus, Marisa! You let your boyfriend of _five_ _years_ slip right through your fingers!" She added while cutting her steak into exactly ten small pieces.

Dad patted her shoulder in an effort to calm her down but she shrugged off his hand and he quickly returned to eating his dinner. Good old Dad, always trying to simmer Mom down, but as usual his efforts were pointless. Perhaps he should do a bit more than touch her shoulder, but that was more effort than he'd ever put into calming her when she was like this – a psychotic bitch set on running over anyone who displeased her. I felt like Dad only did as much as he could without making the situation worse for himself.

Better me than him.

Better me than anyone else.

That's how it usually went in my family.

My younger brother and sister sat silently eating their dinner. They were unaffected by what was going on. Mom yelling at me was a normal dinnertime occurrence. Of course they barely got yelled at. They were the perfect twins who made Mom and Dad proud every chance they got.

Dropping her fork, Mom grabbed her butter knife and pointed it at my face. _Okay, here we go again._ Taking a deep breath, I held myself firmly in my seat. I was about to have my ass chewed out, again.

"You know," Mom began, "I'm not surprised. Not surprised at all... That boy has had enough! We've all had enough!" She was screaming again.

I didn't move a muscle, I didn't even breathe.

I'd learned over the years that it was better not to say anything when she got like this. She'd only respond with more volume if I spoke back.

Picking up her fork again, Mom dug into her beef. I hadn't touched my food, feeling nauseous from all the yelling. She'd always had a problem with my chill lifestyle, but since Ben and I officially broke up last week, she'd taken it to a whole new level.

"I'm not surprised he left you," she added spitefully, causing the queasy feeling in my stomach to creep up a few notches. But it was the knife twisting into my heart that caused me the most discomfort. That last jab really hurt because I had broken up with _him_ – and she knew it.

"You're lazy!" Mom continued. "You don't take care of yourself! You didn't finish university and you _still_ work at that ice cream place! You're twenty-two and you have no pride at all!"

She paused to take another bite of her steak.

"It's incredibly selfish that you don't care how it reflects on our family that you still work there, _at your age!_ " Mom spat the last three words with such venom as she reminded herself where I worked.

I loved my job. I got free ice cream whenever I wanted.

I kept my eyes on my plate. Her screaming rant sent multiple chills down my spine. If I had to look at her...my entire body would crumble from her death glare and rippled scream. For my own personal safety, I'd better keep my eyes down.

This wasn't the first time I'd had to endure her below-the-belt swipes. I'd grown numb to her screams, as well as everyone else's problem with the way I lived my life.

Without looking up, I could hear Mom huffing and puffing in her seat. She was in her own little world, shaking her head in disbelief, making it obvious how badly she was taking our break-up. But she didn't care about what it was doing to me emotionally, only about how it was going to make her look, especially to her small social circle. The most important of which was her best friend Gwen, who also happened to be Ben's mother.

Yet another person who despised me.

At this rate, there was going be a whole club of anti-Marisa's, real soon.

It was different this time. I could feel the cracks in my willpower growing, expanding. It was the only shield I had to protect me from her insane temper-canons.

"Why can't you be like all the other girls?" Mom hissed. "Polite, respectful, a go-getter."

A burst of adrenaline spiked within me, my blood making waves through my veins. I'd had enough of her bringing me down. If she wanted to see pride, she was going to see pride.

Normally, I would have sat there and taken all her shit until she calmed down enough to ignore me for the rest of evening. But with that jab about Ben dumping me, she had gone too far. I'd never felt so angry/disappointed in my family.

I didn't care anymore.

I was done listening to her.

I straightened my back, picked up my cutlery, and began to cut my steak. As the knife sliced through the meat, Mom gasped.

"You're so selfish, Marisa!" Mom hissed through her teeth as I chewed my meat.

I looked up at her and my lips fought hard not to smile at the expression of disbelief on her face. Always one for dramatics, Mom knew how to exaggerate emotions when she wanted to. She looked so funny; the urge to laugh at the ridiculous expression on her face became painful. So I looked away and focused on my plate instead.

But it was still too fucking hard to not chuckle.

So I did.

"It's so funny, ha-ha-ha. Your life is in shambles and it's _hilarious_. You don't care about your family at all, Marisa!" Mom closed her eyes and grabbed her head with her hands, making it seem like I was giving her a headache.

It was quiet for several glorious minutes. I finished my steak in peace. Now that I wasn't nauseous, I kind of enjoyed it.

Suddenly, Mom's eyes flashed open – she wasn't done yet. _Fuck!_

"Thank God for your brother and sister." She shook her head and gave me the old up-and-down; like I was the biggest piece of shit she'd ever seen. "I don't know how we would have faced everyone with someone like you representing our family."

"I love you too, Mom." I sighed.

She looked like she was about to burst several veins. "That's right, make it all into a joke. Well, let me tell you something, you're the only joke here!"

I focused on my lap as the urge to laugh disappeared. One more jab about what a loser I was and I'd burst into tears.

"Marisa, look at me when I talk to you!" she screamed.

Yeah, I don't think so. Not anymore. I've had enough...

"Hello?" someone answered my call, saving me from the horrible memory.

I cleared my throat. "Yes, hello. I saw your ad online about the room for rent. Is it still available?

*~*~*

Saturday December 1

I carried the last of my luggage up the stairs into my brand new home. I crossed the threshold, lowering the luggage and letting it roll across the hardwood floors and down the hall to my room.

Wow.

I stared wide-eyed with excitement, opening my door and walking in. The room matched the Victorian style of the rest of the house, like many of the houses in downtown Toronto. It was beautiful; it was exactly the type of house I hoped to own one day.

One day...

I scanned the room in awe for the millionth time. I couldn't believe it was all mine to do with what I wished, without the worry of an insane control freak stopping me from shifting anything even a fraction of an inch.

I shook my head, grinning.

Now things were going to be done my way.

The room was semi- furnished, which was fine by me. When I left the house today, I'd been informed that whatever I hadn't paid for wasn't coming with me – not that I had any intention of bringing it all with me as I only had my red hatchback to transport my things to my new place. But that was Mom trying to get one last dig in before I escaped her prison-like 'home', to never return.

I was lying. I'd go back to Ottawa, but not for her. I still had my baby bro and sis to keep up with. And if Dad acted like a human, then he'd also have the pleasure of seeing me again. However a relationship with Mom seemed impossible at the moment.

I scowled at the memory of Mom turning her back on me when it came to ending my relationship with Ben. According to me, the relationship was over when he cheated. But that wasn't how Ben saw it. In his eyes, it was a simple mistake that I was grossly exaggerating and I needed to get over it.

Um, no!

I pushed away the horrible memories of us fighting after I'd caught him making out with that slut from the Halloween party. Funnily enough, after everything had calmed down a little, he was blaming the whole thing on me. I'd arrived early when I was the one who always came late to parties because I'd get stuck at work. But I needed my job so I could pay for my car, which he didn't like because it was cheap in his eyes. Ben and his buddies had studied business and psychology at University and they'd graduated last spring – unlike me who'd majored in...umm... I hadn't declared a major before dropping out. I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. The people who were supposed to love me didn't understand that and thought I was lazy, and ungrateful.

I shook it off and checked the time. It was early in the day.

I needed to fix up my new room.

Discount furniture shops, here I come.
CHAPTER ONE

Monday April 13

I glanced at the 4Scoops-branded clock: and it was 8:55 p.m.

Fuck.

It was only, _almost_ closing time.

Great.

Wonderful.

My life was wonderful.... NOT!

What was even more depressing was that I'd worked the past two hours alone and that meant I had to clean the entire store by myself.

And that sucked massive balls.

I scanned the store wide-eyed, once again taken aback by the sheer size of the facility. The only thing that could make things worse right now, was if someone were to walk in wanting ice cream this close to closing time. It's not that it was hard work, scooping ice cream, but I really didn't want to serve anyone else right now. Not until tomorrow when I had to come back and do this all over again.

Monday to Friday – 4 p.m. to closing.

Honestly, I still wasn't sure what the right path for me was, but did I really deserve this shit type of labour? Was it a never-ending punishment for not sticking out university? For not going after a real job with a real career? For deciding that $10.55 an hour was better than studying something I didn't care about?

Yeah, I'm not a smart person, at all.

My brain must have stopped developing at the age of ten. I remembered I made amazing decisions back then – like trading carrots for gummy bears, and remembering who borrowed my erasers, demanding them back – no excuses.

I had skills back then.

Now, I really didn't know what I had or didn't.

This was so fucking sad.

I sighed and became transfixed with all the flavours 4Scoops offered. I shook my head rapidly, there had to be a better way. Anything was better than this.

I made a mental note: _#1 Priority – Figure out a way to get out of here faster!_

I did a pose, super hero like, because that's just how I did things, and then I swayed my hips like a fierce diva over to the mop closet. As I opened the closet, I prayed they'd emptied the mop bucket last night. A disgusting odour wafted out, slamming into me. I looked down at the dirty, muddy water in disgust

Damn them!

I closed the door quickly, trying to lock in the escaping stench that had been stewing since last night. I'd do that chore last.

Fucking motherfuckers!

I glanced up at the clock again. In a few minutes I'd be allowed to lock the front door, casting away any customers who were too late. That was my favourite part, telling people we were closed and they couldn't come in, even if it was only a minute or two after closing. The looks on their faces were priceless, shaking their heads at me like I was this heartless monster. I didn't give a fuck. Closing time was _fucking_ closing time.

Sigh.... good times though.

In the meantime, I grabbed a rag from the sink behind the display case and wiped the surrounding areas. A loud, unexpected chime rang out and I turned in horror as the front door opened.

_What the fuck! Who would dare come now?_ I checked the clock – it was almost closing time!

I forced a smile before the customer had even finished crossing the threshold.

"Welcome to 4Scoops, what can I get...you-uhh...?" I stumbled over my automatic 4Scoops greeting. My jaw had dropped to the ground. I'd lost all sense, knowledge, everything!

Where am I now?

You're at work, snap out of it!

My eyes had never beheld anything more desirable. A Greek god had just walked in.

Ugh! I can't breathe!

I took a few slow breaths, hoping my lack of discretion was unnoticeable. I didn't want to be obvious.

Mr. Beautiful strutted up to the display case, scanning each option carefully. Today had suddenly become the best day of work, ever.

"Hello, what can I get for you?" I asked, using my friendliest professional tone.

Mr. Lovely rested his right hand on the glass and looked me straight in the face. The gorgeous aqua blue of his eyes crashed into me and stopped my breathing. I could swim in those eyes...day and night...naked with his arms around me...doing things...

Hello.... dirty thoughts.

"Hello... Marisa," he said, eyeing my nametag.

He said my name...and I couldn't feel my face, or the rest of my body. My brain shut off for a few seconds. Let's just say it was a struggle not to drool. I'm talking, open mouth with a bucket of saliva dripping on the side of my lip. Just like a dog would...I repeat...just like a horny, hungry, dog would.

He waved his hand in front of my face to see if I was still there.

_Shit!_ I jolted out of my mini lust-coma.

His eyes narrowed. "Are you okay?"

My cheeks flamed a fiery red.

"I'm s-sorry," I stammered with embarrassment. I had to stop fantasizing or I wouldn't make it through the transaction.

I straightened my shoulders and smiled at him. "Have you decided on a flavour, sir?"

His head snapped up quickly, his oceanfront eyes widened with sudden alarm.

_What did I say?_ I worried as I grabbed an ice cream scoop.

"What flavour would you prefer?" I asked, sliding open the window to the display case. It's ice cream time.

He stared at me with those same alarming eyes.

Maybe I'd offended him when I called him sir?

Damn it!

Why'd I call him sir?

He doesn't even look much older than me – thirty, tops. A beautiful thirty, though...sigh.

His pupils shrunk back down as he calmed, revealing his ocean breeze irises again. Maybe my words hadn't been as damaging as I'd thought. He visibly relaxed and his full lips turn upwards into a glorious smile. I inhaled through my front teeth since I couldn't open my mouth right now for fear of saying something stupid again.

I needed my brain to start working again...

Baby, I'll give you anything you want...

STOP IT!

"May I please have one scoop of Chocolate Raspberry Burst and one of Wild Strawberry and Chocolate Swirl." He pointed to each one like I didn't know where they were.

He thought I was stupid......WONDERFUL!

I should write a book about _what not_ to say in the presence of mind numbing hotness – because obviously charming that type of man – a good looking – sex God – Oh God was he good looking – was a skill I clearly didn't possess.

Shit.....fucking...damn shit.

As I scooped out each of his choices I noticed he'd left fingerprints on the glass. I wished he'd leave fingerprints on me...and WOW...it's been awhile since I've had sex. It was like I was a dog in heat.

Totally Ben's fault.

I tossed the dirty scoop into the sink behind me and cautiously looked up at his beautifully sculpted face, wrapped with dark chestnut hair just above his ears. His skin was smooth, his features beyond chiselled – to the point where if you followed every curve you'd get dizzy.

I cleared my throat, fighting the urge to lick my lips. "For here or to go, sir – uh... I mean, not sir!"

Shit!

What was wrong with me?

Was I the town idiot?

Was pale skin and flushed cheeks a common trait for someone who kept screwing up, because that's what I probably looked like right now. I should copyright the look, you know, call it 'The Marisa'. The dumbass look.

I courageously made eye contact again. His oceanic eyes didn't get swallowed by a sea of darkness this time, but his smile grew, showcasing his perfectly straight white teeth.

"Sir?" He sounded taken aback, yet amused.

"I'm sorry, sir, I mean, I don't mean it like that. You're not old. At all. You're young... Umm..." I rapidly stammered, stumbling over myself.

I'll take Word Vomit Galore for 200, Alex.

I took a much needed deep breath before starting again, hoping I wouldn't run him out of the store.

Please don't say anything stupid!

Please don't say anything stupid!

"For here or to go?" I asked him again, sans 'sir'. I prayed he'd take it to go, I didn't know how much longer I could be in his presence before I really said something stupid. I was about to self-combust.

He chuckled, taking a moment to decide.

Was he laughing at me?

He instantly stopped laughing when he noticed my confused expression.

"To go. Please," he replied and pointed at the 4Scoops clock. "Closing time, right?"

I placed a plastic lid over his ice cream and shuffled over to the cash register where he was already waiting.

"Yes, we close at nine all week long," I explained. I placed his ice cream and the plastic spoon in front of him, and then I punched in the ice cream button on the register.

_This is it. Goodbye beautiful oceanfront eyes._ I thought sadly.

I gulped the depressing thought away. "That will be six dollars, please."

His soul reaching eyes crinkled, eyeing me as he grabbed the spoon off the lid and popped it into his perfect mouth. He then twisted the lid off and took a spoonful of ice cream with his saliva-soaked plastic utensil. His eyes never left mine as he swirled the ice cream around in his mouth, devouring the spoonful – it was like I was watching it in slow motion.

I.....couldn't.....breathe.

He was killing me.

He continued to stare at me while licking the spoon clean, making me wonder if he was trying communicate one of those silent 'Come have sex with me, look at what I just did to this spoon, that could be you in five minutes' messages.

After a few moments of not responding, he released my eyes. He gazed out the window.

Why did he have to leave again? I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to stand there for the next hour, while I cleaned. All while he licked ice cream slowly off that very lucky plastic spoon, staring at me sensually, proactively...making me feel things while mopping the entire floor.

Mop faster." He'd purr, licking every inch of the spoon. "You need to mop faster!"

I furiously mopped the floor at his impatient tone, knowing exactly what he was implying.

HOT DAMN!

That was a HOT fucking fantasy if I ever thought of one. But sadly, it was just a fantasy.

He popped the lid back on and took the spoon out of his mouth, clutching it between his index finger and middle finger.

Totally jealous of that spoon.

He pulled out a perfectly folded bill, placing it in front of me. "Thank you," he muttered and headed toward the door and out of my life forever.

Damn.

I watched the muscles of his back move as he walked out, feeling paralyzed.

Eventually, I looked down at the bill he'd left on the counter. I didn't even know if he gave me the right money... Mr. Dennis would yell the crap out of me tomorrow if my register was short.

Whatever, it was worth it just to see that kind of man.

"Okay!" I clapped my hands. It was closing time.

First things first, I had to lock the door before anyone else came in wanting late night ice cream.... although if they looked like him, I wouldn't mind. I glanced out the glass door and was paralyzed again. Mr. Beautiful Blue Eyes was pulling out of the plaza's parking lot and there was someone with him in his very expensive black SUV. Tinted windows were pointless when the window was low enough to see blonde hair flowing out as they raced from the parking lot.

Damn.

Why would he be single anyways?

Dumb-ass...delusional much?

I pulled the blinds down, giving me total privacy and whatever safety it had to offer. I'd been repeatedly assured that the door and windows in this facility were of the highest quality, so I wouldn't have to worry about anyone bursting in and attacking me.

But never mind all that crap, the money?

I walked back around the counter to the register and stared down at the crisp, perfectly folded bill. It could have been any denomination. I picked up the bill, praying it was the right amount and unfolded it. My jaw dropped at the shiny brown paper. My eyes felt like they were seeing wrong, all wrong.

He'd left me a hundred dollar bill!

Oh my God!

*~*~*

A ninety four dollar tip!

And some change.....

It was amazing how fast you could accomplish menial tasks when you were happy. I was so freaking happy right now. After I pocketed the very generous tip, along with the other seven dollars I'd made in tips, I cleaned the store like a well-oiled machine. Wiping, washing, sweeping, and mopping all in less than forty-five minutes.

Whoop, whoop, a new record!

I set the security system and left. The code was a joke, just 1234*. A mid-April breeze wrapped around me and goose bumps broke out over my arms. My thin black jacket might have been the wrong choice for today. I locked the door and turned toward the coffee shop at the far end of the plaza. Nothing like a cup of overpriced coffee to warm you up, but tonight I didn't give a shit about the price, because I was _fureakinggggggg rich._

I sipped my steaming cup of half decaf-half regular medium roast coffee, and headed toward the bus stop. I didn't like taking the bus, but after months of job-hunting, blowing quickly through my savings, I had to sell my car to cover rent and bills. It broke my heart because I loved that car.

I arrived at the Yonge Street bus stop, not worried if I'd missed the bus. My priorities had changed. Mr. Blue Eyes had taken my brain hostage and refused to give it back. It terrified me that such a strong spell could be cast and there was no telling when it would wear off. The bus pulled up and I fumbled for my bus pass as I waited for the bus driver to open the door.

I got off at Yonge and Eglinton. I had to walk the rest of the way, which was no problem as it allowed for daydreaming – an absolute need at the moment. It took twenty minutes to get home, during which time I got into a relationship, had an affair, broke up, made up, and got married. Mr. Beautiful Blue looked amazing in his tux.

The sizzle I felt quickly diminished as a new thought came to mind. Imagining life experiences when you should actually be living them was kind of sad and depressing.

The hallway smelled like a mixture of food from all over the world. Hip-hop music blasted loudly from my neighbour's room. I could hear it clearly a few feet from her door.

Sheila was what we called.... I didn't know the word exactly... Ah, yes, Sheila was a slut. She was open for business 24/7. I believed she'd turned to prostitution to pay her rent but, honestly, rent wasn't that high here. If I could afford it with my shit job at 4Scoops, she could pay it while working at the burger place down the street. So I didn't know what she was thinking, doing whatever she was doing with her "late night visitors". And there were many, to say the least.

As I unlocked my door and walked in, the sound of my email notification rang out from my smartphone. Before checking my email, I shrugged off my jacket and hung it up in my cramped closet. Ever since I left Ottawa, I'd worked diligently at changing some bad habits that I'd let get out of hand. Organization being one of the top contenders. After a while, returning items to their rightful places became a natural thing for me to do.

I changed out of my dirty work clothes and into my pyjamas –black sweats and a long, blue cotton shirt I'd found on sale last week. I tossed my dirty clothes into the hamper and plopped down in the well-worn desk chair that I bought used. I caressed the sleek laptop I'd bought just before I caught Ben cheating, before my life had gone haywire. He'd gone with me to buy it, seeming happy with my purchase. But I found out later, through his mom talking to my mom, that he thought I should have saved my money for more important things. Mom agreed and ceaselessly complained about my careless spending.

That was a great day!

My Internet browser popped up quickly. I grinned happily. The Internet was working well tonight. So far. The landlord had claimed in the online ad that the room came with Internet, but what she failed to mention was how unreliable the signal was – it would go up and down several times an hour most nights.

The page loaded and my head shook when I saw two emails from people I didn't care to talk to. My mom and Ben. She was a miserable, evil, angry, witch, traitor, and he was a cheating son of a bitch, literally.

I'd changed my phone number as soon as I'd left Ottawa and didn't tell anyone. I'd sent my dad an email stating that email would be the only way anyone could contact me from now on. They weren't happy at first, putting up a fight about needing to hear my voice. But I knew better. They weren't kidding anyone because the truth was, it was hard to scold me in the form of an email.

_What the hell does Mom want?_ I hesitated clicking her email. I hadn't heard from her since I'd left Ottawa.

I opened the message to find an e-invitation to a party she was throwing for my Dad next week.

Dad's birthday?

Oh shit!

I'd completely forgotten. But did it really matter when his birthday was? He'd sided with Mom in the whole Ben fiasco, after all.

I opened Ben's message next. I'd received a few since coming to Toronto. They were all generally the same, just a rushed apology with no real meaning behind it.

Dear Marisa

I've waited long enough and I can't anymore. I told you I was sorry. What else was there for me to do to make things better? It was just a kiss! I'm not waiting for you anymore. I have a life to live, with or without you. I hope you have good life, and I hope you wish the same for me. I've got a date this weekend.

Ben.

What?

Who the hell did this guy think he was?

I reread his email, flabbergasted at his proclamation that it was _just a kiss_. If memory served me correctly, he was practically eating her face.

I deleted his message and emailed Darcy about the details for Dad's party.
CHAPTER TWO

Walking onto the train platform, I lifted my carry-on climbing up the stairs onto the noisy train car. Practically every seat was full. I quickly spied my allocated seat and scooted by the many passengers busy securing their luggage, pleased I'd only brought a small carry-on that would fit between my feet.

"Excuse me," I squeezed into E28, my window seat, trying not to bump my seat-buddy. Thank goodness I'd reserved my seat beforehand and chose a window seat, there was nothing like the picture-perfect Canadian landscapes to pass the four hours to Ottawa with.

I twisted and turned in my seat to get comfortable, tucking my bag between my feet and the wall. I took out my Sudoku book and led pencil. This and the view of eastern Canada should keep me from thinking about how I was going to handle the situation back home.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about seeing Ben and the rest of my family again after months away. I knew there were a few things they'd like to say to me face-to-face. I hoped they wouldn't be disappointed when I didn't crumble under the pressure of their overbearing, hypocritical scrutiny. I fully intended to stand my ground and show I was no weakling.

I'm nobody's fucking doormat!

The train slowly pulled ahead as I stood to adjust my brand new sweater, making sure it was lying flat underneath me rather than scrunched. I didn't want to get up after four hours to find it all wrinkled at the bottom. In the brief moment I was above everyone, I scanned the entire car, every seat was taken except for one seat across the aisle.

A loud laugh filled the car, it was coming from the door where we'd boarded.

"You're lucky, five more seconds and you'd be stranded on the platform," The overjoyed train attendant explained to the passenger in the vestibule.

"I know, thanks for not shutting the door on me," A male voice floated back.

The guy was lucky. Must've been his day. Or maybe it was everyone's lucky day. I certainly hoped it'd be mine. I returned to my Sudoku, it looked to be an easy one that probably wouldn't take me more than ten minutes to complete.

I could feel and hear heavy footfalls stride down the aisle and come to a halt near me – his seat was obviously the empty one across the aisle.

"Excuse me," His voice rumbled, "I believe you're in my seat."

Not looking up from my puzzle, I took my ticket from my pocket and double-checked the seat number on it. E28 it read. I was in the right spot. I breathed a sigh of relief that the stranger hadn't been addressing me. It would've been embarrassing to have to change seats in front of everyone. I held up my ticket and turned toward the late passenger and froze.

Beautiful, beachfront blue eyes.

Oh my God!

It's him!

The last minute customer from Monday night was now the last minute train passenger.

_What does this all mean?_ I wondered.

Was it fate, destiny, whatever it was called?

Were we supposed to meet?

When the blood came rushing back to my limbs and joints, I muttered, "This is my seat."

He smirked at my delivery and his left hand clasped the seat in front of my neighbour as the train shook slightly. He let go as soon as he regained his balance and shifted the weight of his carry-on bag as he rechecked his ticket.

"I've been assigned to this seat," he said pointedly to my statuesque neighbour who didn't understand why Mr. Blue Eyes couldn't just take the empty window seat across the aisle.

Mr. Beautiful Beachfront Eyes glanced at the available seat then back at us. "I can't sit next to the window. I get motion sickness every time I look out of any moving vehicle. Sorry."

My neighbour nodded stiffly and unhappily gathered up his belongings and moved to the empty seat.

He's going to sit down next to me! I'm going to spend four hours next to my sexual fantasy of the past week.

Apparently today was my lucky day, too.

He took off his black leather jacket and plopped down beside me, placing his messenger bag between his legs and jacket on his lap. Once he was comfortable in his seat, a peculiar grin stretched across his gorgeous face as he stared at the back of the seat in front of him. "Hello again... Marisa, was it?"

My brown eyes widened and my throat constricted. I gave him a questioning look. How did he know my name?

He read my mind and eyed me slowly, not losing the grin. "Your name tag."

My cheeks immediately burned.

"Oh," I replied, taking in his perceptive nature. He was probably one of those people that noticed everything, even the things you'd wished he wouldn't see.

Like my reddening cheeks.

I faced forward, unsure I could look him in the eyes for much longer. Suddenly, I remembered his very generous tip. It was a sign from God that he was sitting next to me. I needed to return the money.

_Good thing I didn't spend it yet_ , I reminded myself.

I inhaled one long, courageous breath and turned to face him. He looked up from the bundle of papers he'd taken from his messenger bag. They looked like contracts...perhaps he was a businessman?

Before I could say anything, his blue eyes connected with mine causing a shiver to trickle down my spine.

"The tip, I mean the tip you left on Monday," I cleared my throat. "It was very generous of you, but I don't understand why you left so much money?"

His blue eyes gazed blankly at me, like he didn't know what I was talking about and needed a moment to search his memory.

I guess I wasn't the first cashier he'd given an overly generous tip too... Damn!

I don't know why I was disappointed about not being the only one he decided to give a generous tip to. I guess it was nice for once to feel special, even if all I did was scoop ice cream for him.

"Don't worry about it," he said impatiently, in a tone that suggested he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He returned his focus to the papers on his lap.

_Okay...so much for giving back his money._ I continued my Sudoku puzzle, forgetting about the right thing to do. I didn't really want to get into an argument with a stranger anyway.

We sat in silence as the train glided gracefully across eastern Canada. The sizzle I'd felt for him earlier quickly diminished to a tame buzz that I could easily control. After several minutes of filling in numbers on my Sudoku puzzle, I looked out the window and fell into a deep trance from the moving landscapes.

"So beautiful," a hushed voice said.

And it was back again.

I jolted out of the trance, cheeks flaming. I faced him and he was staring at me with this weird tiny smile on his face.

"What?" I asked him, confused at what he'd really meant.

"The landscape," he explained, not taking his eyes off me. "It's beautiful."

I turned back toward the window. "You're right, it is beautiful."

I didn't think he was talking about the passing view outside. Control was quickly going out the window with the passing view. My brain needed oxygen now. It needed every ounce of energy to keep me composed and not squirming like a fourteen-year-old girl being told she was cute by the boy she fancied.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that his attention was still fixed on me. "What?" I asked again.

I know I joked about having hot sex with him before, but that didn't mean I actually would do it with him. I wasn't crazy like that. I didn't know him and couldn't understand why he was still staring at me. I knew I wasn't beautiful like that. If anything I'd say I was a proper 6.8 out of 10– safely in cutie territory. He didn't look like the type who'd go for a girl who was just cute. Even if it was just to have sex with. With his 6'2 height, glowing smooth skin, and a face that belonged in a Prada campaign, not to mention his lean yet muscular body, he belonged with an equally gorgeous female – or male.

Shit, what if he's gay? He could be on his way to meet his boyfriend right now!

"You're uncomfortable when someone stares at you, huh?" he assumed, looking back down at his paperwork.

"I don't like being stared at," I answered. "Especially when it's a stranger." I returned to my Sudoku, I was almost done. This easy puzzle had taken me far longer than expected...

*~*~*

After an hour of silence between me and the beautiful blue eyed Adonis/stranger, I looked up from my Sudoku book. I'd completed four easy puzzles and my brain was starting to feel fried. I checked on him from the corner of my eye. The paperwork had vanished and he was fast asleep, slumped down with his head resting on his shoulder. With no need to be discrete, I turned to face him fully. His perfect lips opened slightly as he breathed.

Those were some nice lips. I wouldn't mind going in for a little...

Goddamn! I felt like a nun in heat. It had been so long since I'd kissed a man – almost six months, actually. I'd skipped the whole 'find a rebound guy to fill my aching heart' thing. It was just too much effort.

I watched my neighbour breathe for the next five minutes, eyeing up his well-tailored, black cashmere sweater and the black jeans that fit him perfectly. His outfit was probably some designer label, costing more than my round trip ticket and my brand new outfit combined. Maybe even more.

But here was the part I didn't get. If he was so rich, why was he sitting here in economy and not in business class or in his own private cabin?

"Can I help you with something?" he asked with his eyes closed and a smile on his lips.

"Ah!" I jumped at the sound of his voice. He was supposed to be sleeping! "I'm sorry if I disturbed your sleep." I spun back toward the window.

"No problem, Marisa. Unlike you, I like it when people stare at me, especially cute girls like you," he declared, eyes still closed. His lips curled into a knowing grin.

My heart accelerated as my face heated with embarrassment at his confession. He thought I was cute!

I was at a loss for how to respond. "Uh, thank you," I murmured back, not wanting to disturb the rest of train with any more outbursts. Besides, I was having a conversation with a beautiful man who thought I was cute. I had to be chill.

I discretely pinched myself. This sort of thing just didn't happen to girls like me. I mean, I was the one who got ragged on for not being good enough, yet BEN had stayed with me for years before he'd cheated. So how did this scenario make sense in my life equation?

However a beautiful man found me attractive...so.....HELL YEAH!

My newfound high took a sudden downward turn.

What if he's a psychopath?

Why would a guy like that be interested in a girl like me unless he was a serial killer on the hunt for his next victim? I was an easy target, a young female travelling alone. He'd have no problem capturing and holding me, free to do with, whatever he pleased.

He's going to slaughter you... Stay away!

But I didn't want to stay away.

He was too pretty.

I wanted something pretty for once!

"I wasn't staring at you. I was making sure you were breathing okay." I explained, trying to save face. I didn't want to look like a creep.

"My breathing is fine, thank you for the concern though. It fills me with great _pleasure_ knowing that in case I stop breathing, you'll be here to save me," he replied, eyes closed.

Why did he emphasize 'pleasure'?

I shook it off, wanting everything to go back to normal. "I'm no hero, so don't count on me," I turned back to the window, trying to get lost in the beautiful scenery. The train had been passing a lot of farms. I liked the idea of farming, it was a simple life where expectations weren't sky rocketing to the moon.

Simple and peaceful.

The kind of place where families through thick or thin actually stuck together, no matter what.

It would be nice to live a peaceful life, but, thinking about it again, I wouldn't want to smell cow shit all day and I wasn't a fan of mud either. I wasn't some high-maintenance princess, but Mother Nature and I just didn't collaborate so well. I exhaled as the tower of frustration inside me gained another level. I blamed my parents for my lack of motivation to be one with Mother Earth.

First order of business when I get back from this mission: go camping!

"Penny for your thoughts?" Blue Wonder hummed next to my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I re-crossed my legs to hide the shiver and faced him. He was so close we could be mistaken for kissing.

Wouldn't that be something.....

My mind was literally going bonkers. I didn't know this guy and I wanted him to kiss me.

I stretched my neck to the left and then to the right, hoping to release some tension. My neighbour leaned in further, but I smoothly leaned back, "Excuse me!" I smirked at him. He leaned back, facing forward and crossing his arms over his chest. His black cashmere sweater stretched, outlining his broad chest.

Deep breaths......he looked so fucking amazing right now.

I must not drool.

"Oh Marisa... What are you...?" He leaned into his seat, his eyes twinkling at me with mischief, while his quiet chuckle rippled down his beautifully shaped body.

Black cashmere sweaters were now my new favorite pieces of clothing, in the entire world.

I tilted my head back and leaned into my own seat to meet him at eye level. "What?" I teased. It was my turn to chuckle.

His index finger somehow found its way onto my nose, gliding down to circle the space around my lips. I didn't know why I didn't stop him. A complete stranger was putting his hands on me in a very intimate manner... _But he's cute!!!_

If only life's problems were solved with 'he's cute'! But cute didn't solve shit.

I angled my head back, leaving his finger swimming in the space between our faces. With lightning-speed he had my face in his hands, pulling me in. His lips planted themselves firmly on mine. I couldn't believe this was happening, and on a train full of people. They might all be staring, but I didn't care, my eyes were closed before his lips were even on mine.

I could get used to this...

He caressed the side of my face with his perfectly manicured fingers, the warmth of his fingertips gliding on my skin and sending shivers down to my core. If his whisper had done something electrifying to me, it was nothing compared to his touch, because sparks were flying...

_Electric!_ That was all I could think about as this blue-eyed God deepened his kiss, his tongue tangling with mine, making my entire body sweaty and feel tingly.

Especially one area in particular.

Suddenly, it was too much and I pulled back. I used the break to catch my breath and come back down to Earth. He leaned back into his chair and chuckled again before adjusting his posture and pulling out some documents to read.

What the hell?

How could he just return back to normal like that?

I couldn't help but feel disappointed. Why wasn't he paying attention to me anymore?

Not knowing how to ask for more kisses, I asked the next best question, "What's your name?"

When I tell people this story... about that one time I was kissed on a train going to Ottawa by a random man named....

"Xander Barns," he replied, not looking up from his documents.

What a name!

He sounded like a boss.

Not that I was a gold digger or anything.

"Marisa Gellys." I stretched my hand out to shake. He stared at my hand for a second before putting his papers down and giving me an amused smile.

Xander grasped my hand firmly. "Pleased to meet you, Marisa Gellys."

Thank God his eyes didn't have laser beams, I was already on the verge of exploding.

CHAPTER THREE

A few hours later, we were approaching Ottawa.

I was dreading these last few moments with Mr. Hot Lips. After the steamy kiss there had been nothing else, no more kisses or conversations. Nothing. How rude to ignore a girl after a kiss like that. He'd left me high and dry and, come on, a girl's got needs too.

I snuck a peek to check him out, doing my absolute best to not be obvious. Xander looked the same as he had for the majority of the trip: perfect posture with an array of documents resting on his lap.

What kind of deal was he working on anyways?

Maybe he was a lawyer?

My eyes trespassed onto dangerous territory as they glided up from his papers to his beautiful chest, every hard ripple emphasized by the glorious black cashmere sweater. Who would have thought a sweater could be this amazing. Seriously, Xander should never be allowed to leave his house without one on. Maybe his closet housed a different coloured sweater for each day of the week. In fact, it should be made a law.

Hot Man Rule 1: **Xander Barns must wear sweaters every day.**

Or he could just go naked...that buff body and smooth, creamy skin.

Forget being obvious, my eyes greedily stalked every inch of him. Clearly, I'd left my common sense back at Union Station.

Damn you, luscious sweater! You're even more sculpted than I remembered.

Surprisingly, Xander's eyes didn't leave his work. Maybe I wasn't being as obvious as I'd feared, but, to be safe, I quickly refocused my attention back to the Canadian scenery outside my window. My eyes had left his form, but my mind and body hadn't. They panted with desperation. Two minutes of mindless wonder had done more harm to my system than anything else could.

Shit!

I was losing it!

Focus girl, remember: you're here on a mission!

I shook my head trying to knock away this crazy feeling, this crazy idea, this stupid, lustful moment that threatened to strip away every inch of armour I'd acquired since I'd arrived in Toronto.

_I'm an independent woman. I don't need a man... and they're all cheaters and fucking hypocrites anyways_. I repeated to myself the oath I'd made that started this whole adventure, this whole new lifestyle, of being my own person and perfectly capable of succeeding, and being content with where I was in life.

After a few seconds, my heart rate calmed down. The reminder had done its job and I could feel power coursing through my body. My eyes could see again with every colour coming to life around me. Clarity was taking over.

My hands formed fists as I turned to test my newfound power. Xander continued to ignore me, focusing intently on his papers – not that I cared or anything.

_Puh-lease! He's not that cute! What the hell were you thinking!_ I desperately tried to convince myself, almost succeeding until Xander's head popped up, giving me a full view of his beautiful face.

Deep blue eyes instantly made my fists uncurl into anxious fingertips that would do anything for a little taste of his touch.

_So much for independent woman power, I don't even have a teenage girl's power._ I was acting like a transparent pre-teen with posters of boys plastered all over her bedroom walls.

I might as well write his name all over my binder now with big hearts saying 'Marisa luvs Xander 4 Ever'.

His deep blue eyes disarmed me as his mouth curved into a glorious, tooth-filled smiled. Its pearly glow quickly blinded me of my 'clarity', practically obliterating it.

Damn it, just take me now!

_Like I'd really say that out loud,_ I chuckled to myself then froze. _What if it's all in my eyes? What if he can read everything I'm thinking? Nooo! I really am transparent!_

I cried inside at my lack of finesse, although my inability to hide my feelings really shouldn't have come as a shock because all my life people have told me I was an open book. Almost predictable.

His attention was short-lived, his eyes returning quickly to his paperwork. I began grabbing all my things, shoving them into my messenger bag. I shrugged into my black jacket that I'd been leaning back on for the whole trip. I smoothed out the wrinkles as best I could. _That's just great, my new jacket!_

The train pulled into the station. Finally, I'd arrived in Ottawa. This trip needed to be over, like now. My mind was playing too many tricks on me. The train bumped to a complete stop as I slid my bag over my shoulder and picked up my carry-on. I had to get away from the madness of Xander and his beautiful eyes, glorious lips, and amazing cashmere sweater.

"Excuse me," I said politely to Xander and he politely rose and got out of the way. I squeezed into the aisle, "Thanks," I said with a smile.

This'll probably be the last thing I ever say to him... Hell, it'll probably be the last time I ever see him...unless he wants more ice cream back in Toronto...

I walked down the aisle toward the exit.

"Wait!" Xander called after me.

My heart picked up speed, beating at an unimaginable rate. I turned around slowly, "Yeah?"

He waved my Sudoku book in open air. "You seem to have forgotten this." He smiled as he handed it to me.

I thought I'd put it back in my bag a couple hours ago. I took it from him and a large shiver rippled through my spine as his fingers scraped over mine in the transfer.

"Thank you," was all I could muster as I shoved the book into my bag.

He smiled one last time before sitting back down.

_That's it, the end of our story!_ I thought as I walked off the train. Over four hours of insane thoughts, a brief encounter with a sexy stranger who loved late night ice cream runs. It wasn't enough, not by a long shot. But it was too late, the train was already pulling out of the station, continuing on to Montreal.

My stomach felt like a breeding ground for flies, buzzing around until I felt sick from the heartbreak. I'd lost again, even though I'd only known him for such a short time. I pulled my Sudoku book back out of my bag, hoping maybe it still held some of his scent. I brought the book to my nose and inhaled the paper. Realizing I was still in public, I was suddenly embarrassed at my desperation. I searched for a garbage can to dispose of the disappointingly scent-free book when something caught my eye. There were some scribbles on the back of the book.

Oh my God! He gave me his number!

*~*~*

I pulled out my cellphone to check my bank account balance, feeling the need to ensure the numbers were still the same even though I'd checked it just a few hours ago. I had to make sure my pennies stayed put. This trip home was costing more than I'd originally anticipated.

_Now for more pressing matters,_ I thought. _Taxi or bus?_

My budget said I should take the bus, but a cold breeze quickly changed my mind as it whipped around me, making me zip up my new jacket.

_Fuck it!_ I flagged the approaching taxi.

The heated taxi drove through downtown Ottawa, probably thinking I was tourist who would appreciate the scenic route even though it was simply running up the tab.

_Hey buddy! Born and raised here!_ I wanted to tell him but didn't have the courage – that train trip must have taken all my gusto. I had no fight left in me.

_Damn you, Xander!_ Mentally, I kicked him in the balls, throwing his ass high into the sky.

With an extra fifteen dollars added to the taxi fare, I arrived at the Old Country Bed and Breakfast, which was only a ten-minute walk from my parents' house. I'd known this place my whole life. I could remember passing the familiar building every time I walked home from school with Ben. This neighbourhood hadn't changed a bit, but this girl certainly had.

I quickly checked in, thankful the owners didn't know who I was, but I shouldn't have been surprised as I'd never stayed here before. Even when Ben and I first started sleeping together we'd just used whoever's house was emptier. I plopped down on the blue duvet that covered my bed and hesitatingly pulled out my Sudoku book again, staring at the scribbled number Xander left for me.

Did he want me to call him?

Aside from Ben, I'd never called a guy for romantic reasons. Heck, I'd never even _pursued_ a guy. Ben was the only guy I'd ever been with and that had just sort of happened. With our mothers being best friends, we'd known each other from birth and eventually romance had blossomed.

My head started to pound. I needed to change my thoughts. I tossed the puzzle book on the side table and scanned the room's décor. For forty five dollars a night, the room came with a queen-sized bed with clean pale blue sheets and a desk and chair. The rest of the room was white and bare but I didn't care, it was only for two nights and, hey, I'd get breakfast in the morning.

After I unpacked my travel bag, I had nothing else to do until Dad's party tomorrow. I certainly was not going over to my parents' house for any 'quality time' – a privilege I'd only grant them with for a few hours tomorrow night. I didn't keep in touch with my 'high school' friends. The only other person in town was Ben, but he wasn't someone I wanted to see either. Even if he showed up tomorrow night with his family he wasn't going to be getting any attention from me. Not even eye contact. He'd be looking at my back all night.

Imagining Ben scowling and embarrassed made me laugh. The look on his face when he realized I was ignoring him would be too funny to pass up.

I might have to rethink the whole eye contact thing...

I lay down on my bed, hands folded behind my head. Not long later, like maybe thirty seconds, I found myself thumbing through my Sudoku book again, finding where I'd left off.

Thinking, strictly hypothetically, it was too bad Xander wasn't here right now.

I was all riled up...and tense.

Suddenly a mischievous grin broke across my face as I made a scandalous decision. He should pay for his actions and I knew just how. I turned the book over. The number had a 416 area code so he was from Toronto. Maybe I could contact him once I returned to the city. Maybe on Monday I could call him and we could...have phone sex?

I spent the next hour fantasizing about all the potential dates and things Xander and I could be doing. Hypothetically, of course. However, all the imagining only served to increase the frustrate-o-meter inside of me. Not able to take it any longer, I did the only thing I could think of – the most irrational thing I'd ever done in my entire life. I blamed a lack of orgasms to this brain melt.

I pulled out my phone and dialled.

"Hello?" a deep voice answered on the first ring.

Holy shit, I can't believe I'm about to initiate phone sex with a complete hottie stranger!

My palms were sweaty as I gripped my cell firmly to my ear. My heart pounded in my chest, beating a million times a minute.

"Hi, it's me," I squeaked out shyly. Oh God! How was I going to do this?

"Who's 'me'?" Xander responded. I could practically envision his amused, cocky smile – he knew who it was. That kind of pissed me off.

"Marisa!" I snapped, not in the mood for his games. He'd already taken all my mental fortitude back on the train.

He laughed loudly into the receiver. "Now, now, nice kitty."

I pulled the phone from my ear. Did he just call me kitty?

I was no kitty!

"What?" I blurted, which only made him laugh harder. I was a joke. Great. So much for phone sex.

He stopped laughing and sighed. "I'm glad you called, a little shocked it took you two hours though, I would've bet on you only holding out an hour before you cracked. I guess you've got more stamina than I thought." He sounded impressed at my lack of devotion to him. What did he expect me to do, heed his command after just four hours of sitting together?

What a nut job.

I was crazy for calling him in the first place.

I mentally rose from where I'd been kneeling at his feet in my mind and took out my hidden whip, slashing his body while he screamed, terrified of the monster he'd dared to intimidate with his manhood. I needed to show him who he was dealing with, that I wasn't some stupid slave girl type. More like a hard-core, slap-you-now-asshole, type of girl.

That's right!

I wrapped a diaper around his bruised bottom and slapped it as he fled my brain.

I hung up without another word and threw the phone across the bed. So much for a mental getaway. The guy couldn't even provide me with a brief escape before trying to dominate me. Who did he think he was talking to? A scared little girl who needed a man in her life? Well that wasn't me! Not in the slightest!

The theme to Sleeping Beauty suddenly rang out, startling me. My brows furrowed as I reached for my phone. No one ever called me, because no one had my number besides my landlord and Mr. Dennis.

I glanced at the caller ID but the number was private. "Hello?" I answered timidly.

"Well, that was rude!" Xander stated, amused.

My eyes widened. "How'd you get this number? My number is private!" I demanded. My mind raced with thoughts on how he could have gotten my digits.

Was he an undercover agent for the RCMP?

Did he own a telecommunications company that had access to everything the gov't did?

Did he have friends in high places and called in a favor?

Or did he hack into my cellphone provider?

"A gentleman never tells," he stated simply. "So, tell me," He continued, dropping his voice seductively, "what are doing right now?"

It took me a second to snap out of the daze his voice had casted upon me. "Trying to figure out who the hell you are?" I responded quickly.

"I'm a friendly guy. Thought you would've noticed that already with the way I allowed you to shove your tongue down my throat," was his nonchalant reply. I heard him chuckle, which only infuriated me even more.

He thought this whole thing was a joke and _that_ really pissed me off.

"Well, I'm so happy you think I'm a joke," I spat out sarcastically. "Ha-ha-ha, very funny!" The chuckling on the other end stopped immediately.

"On the contrary, Marisa. I don't think you're funny at all. In fact, I think you're sexy as...... _fuck_...I'm hard just thinking about your sweet tongue, moving inside my mouth, wouldn't mind doing that again....but this time it'll be my tongue....All. Over. Your. Wet. Pussy." he whispered. The sound of his voice alone was enough to send shivers up my spine, but the words – damn – I'd never been spoken to like that before.

Even sexy time with Ben....was nowhere like that.

My jaw dropped. "What?" I blurted as my face started to heat up. Hell my entire body just went from ice cold to blazing, sun scorching, hot heat! A few more _words_ like that would definitely tip me over the edge, especially over of this dry spell I've been SUFFERING through for the last few months.

Thank you Ben....thank you so much....

That ASSHOLE was probably getting his dick sucked by some red headed skank, while I had to resort to 'phone sex' to get off for the first time in months!

MONTHS!

Anyways...back to Xander. Thank God I was sitting on the bed, because my legs were jelly.

"When can we meet?" Xander hummed, nonchalantly. "I believe you got off in Ottawa, right? I'm in Montreal right now, but I could meet you tonight on my way back..."

This wasn't a good idea, no matter how horny I was. I took a deep breath and cleared my head of any remaining sexual warfare he'd sent. "Listen dark and charming, Mr. Mysterious, whatever your name is....I don't even know you. I'm not inviting you over for whatever _disgusting_ thing you have in mind. Honestly, you should stop this whole thing, it's kinda freaky. I mean, you could have herpes or something."

I heard a hiss from his side. "If I have herpes, darling, than so do you."

I cringed. "We just kissed, how can I get herpes from kissing?"

"'Cause I use my mouth just has much as I use my cock, baby," he purred, grinding his teeth in frustration.

His voice sent a rocket of heat through me. "You use your mouth?" I asked, aware of where this was leading.

"All. The. Time. Baby." Xander purred, his tone adding fuel to the rocket of heat inside of me. "I wish I was there right now, in between your legs, making you cum three or four times while you scream my name like it's the greatest gift you've ever received. And that's all before I take you in every position imaginable, taking you places that'll put you in a bed for the next week and maybe the next month too. That's how _fucking_ good I am. Now, tell me, where are you staying?"

I was silent.

I couldn't speak.....especially after all those promises.

Really?

Could he?

How was that possible?

Three or four times and that was just the start of what he wanted to do to me?

How was it possible!

Snap out of it, you moron!

"What...I mean, I don't...I can't... You can't be serious!" I sputtered out in a single breath.

"You can and you will, and I'm very serious. If only you could feel my hard-on you'd realize how important, how serious this situation is." He made his explanation sound like it was not open for discussion.

Should I?

Hold on!

Wait a minute, I can't be serious!

He could be a psychopath!

He could have diseases!

I thought about him on the train and at 4Scoops, he'd looked like a businessman. And he'd given me his phone number, so if anything happened, the police could trace my phone and find him with my tied up body somewhere.

I don't know...

If I could just shut off my brain and focus on how gorgeous he was and that he was probably harmless....then what was the worst that could happen?

I could get cut up into hundreds of little pieces, thrown into a garbage bag, and dumped into a body of water...probably the Ottawa River.

_No! I'm not an idiot!_ I would not fall for his charm then be surprised when he turned into a complete monster.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to have to decline," I said smoothly, like it wasn't worth my time. Before hanging up though, I think, a little bit of fun was in order. You know, get him riled up a bit more, psychopath or not.

This was going to be great.

My way that is.

The fun way!

"I'd like to thank you, though. You've provided great inspiration for the next hour. I'm glad I packed my double sided, vibrator. Its name is Carlos and he can't wait to drill me with his 10 –inch plastic rod. Both ways by the way, can't waist my batteries by being selfish." I sang into the receiver. "Bye!"

"What! Wait!" He pled as I hung up on him.

I threw my phone back onto the bed and flopped down next to it, laughing at the little problem I'd just created for him.

That's what's up, asshole. Don't try and play me! Jerk off to that why don't you.

I sighed, stretching my arms. "All in a day's work."

Satisfied with myself, I kicked off my shoes and folded down the duvet so I could crawl in. I was tired from the journey and figured a short nap would do me some good. Maybe I'd go out, maybe find a bar and get wasted. I'd have a horrible hangover for the party tomorrow night, but who cared. My eyelids closed as my head hit the pillow.

*~*~*

Four hours later...

I was awoken by three sharp knocks on my door. My eyes snapped open and I rubbed them as I glanced at the clock.

10 p.m.!

_Shit!! I way overslept for a nap..._ I turned on the side lamp as I pondered who could be at the door. Did the owners forget to tell me something?

Yawning, I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the door without another thought of who it could be. The hallway was slightly dark, only a single light fixture providing a soft glow for the entire quiet hallway. From the squint of my barely opened eye, I saw no one. I was about to step back inside my room when I noticed a dark figure to my left, leaning against the wall beside my doorframe. Tall and wearing a familiar black cashmere sweater, I blinked a few times, thinking I must still be dreaming. My eyes grew wide as I hit the door.

My brain and legs go into off mode.

I was stuck...mesmerized and incredulous that this was happening.

How was this possible?

His arms were folded and his eyes were on me, danger and anticipation burning from within. A sardonic smile stretched slowly across his face.

His blue eyes twinkled. "Hello again, Marisa."

Shit.

CHAPTER FOUR

"Oh crap," I muttered under my breath at the beautiful yet scary sight of Xander Barns standing only a few inches from me. He was leaning against the wall beside my doorframe, his left leg bent with his foot on the wall. His black jeans clung even tighter to him, emphasizing _everything._ Trouble stirred within me.

Xander's eyes remained closed, but his lush, tan lips began to move.

_Oh God!_ I mentally whimpered as I concentrated solely on his lips.

"Oh Marisa," He moaned like he was being forced to hold himself back. His head slowly tilted to his right, flowing chestnut locks escaped from the gel that held them from tumbling over his eyes. He pierced me with a penetrating stare.

I turned my head away, pulse pounding in my ears, brain no longer functional.

I'm fucked!

There was no way I could meet his gaze, it was blinding. Any stronger and it would strip all my clothes off.

My vision slid from my door to the floor then over my bare feet; I hadn't put my shoes on.

Oh shit! My feet look horrible and Xander Barns is standing in his – sigh – black cashmere sweater...flexing – (sigh) – right in front of me... And my feet are horrible!

Xander pushed off the wall and walked slowly towards me.

"So this is where you're staying." He stopped with his face only an inch from mine.

I tilted my head up; it was the only part of my body that seemed able to move right now.

"Yeah, this is where I'm staying. It's cheap but I get breakfast, so it's good enough for me." I bet his rich ass had never stepped foot in anything less than a five star hotel. "Bit different than the Ritz, huh?" A low giggle escaped and his eyebrow shot up in surprise at my sultry condescending tone. Bet he didn't think I'd speak to him like this.

_Why are you speaking to him like this? Do you want him to get the wrong idea, again?_ I struggled not to grin or giggle again. He angled his head even closer to mine. I was _this_ close to his lips, a little push from a sex spirit and we'd be in a battle of lips.

Hmmm... Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a little banter with him, what's the worst that could happen?

_A glorious make-out session in his tight embrace. We'd be attached at the hip and be nicknamed ' the Siamese twins'. Except not actually twins because eww incest._ I imagined myself grinning so wide that all my teeth were on display, both arms extended with an enthusiastic double thumbs-up. _That would be a definite 'yes!'_

As this beautiful wealthy man stared down at me, my weak knees regained their strength. Which was odd. Something must not be right if this jaw-dropping cutie didn't have at least some effect on my motor functions.

Shit, he must have really turned me off somewhere in this _not-even-a-conversation_ we were having.

I was the first to break eye contact, taking a half step back. I needed some distance to examine the situation. I scanned him up and down.

Sexy, black cashmere sweater – check that off, no way that turned me off. While I was at it, I checked off anything relating to his appearance. This only left his personality and attitude to assess. It was obvious, I just didn't want to admit it: his pompous, poor-little-rich-boy persona was not doing anything for me. He hadn't acted like this on the train. But, then again, we'd barely spoken or interacted, so I hadn't had the chance to see him for what he really was: a douche.

It's safe to say I was as dry as a desert in summer, and he was nowhere near the waterfall I needed to break the dry spell.

Blue Surprise moved his head to the side, assessing me as I was assessing him. I tilted my head to side, mimicking him.

Who does he think he is, assessing me while I'm assessing him? I'm allowed 'cause I'm a girl; I'm the normal one. He's the one who traced my ass all the way to the middle of suburban Ottawa. Stalker, anyone?

Xander Barns, tall, dark, and handsome was suddenly standing in my little room. All man, ready for me to take.

My eyes climbed over his entire body, up and down. My mind feared he would disappear right before my eyes or I'd wake up to realize it was all just a really good dream – the kind of dream where you wake up cursing yourself for not milking the moment more.

I didn't want to wake up, not this time. I slowly returned to the door and locked it.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Xander purred as I leaned against the door.

He sat down on my bed, his long, strong fingers grasping the edge. I followed his arms down to his hands and his white knuckles.

Is he really trying that hard to hold himself back, that he has to cling to the bed to keep from tackling me?

My brain turned off and I was probably drooling, as I stood back in silence, unsure of what one said in a moment like this.

What the hell was this, though? A booty call? A one-night stand? A random hook-up?

"Come here," Xander ordered quietly but firmly.

_Yeah, I want this,_ I decided and took two long strides towards him.

I sat on the edge of the bed beside him, staring ahead, carefully avoiding his eyes; my heart was already beating a thousand miles a minute, if I looked deep into those pools of azure, I'd lose the last shred of sanity I had left.

"Look at me."

Shit!

"I'm good." My voice was barely audible.

"Baby," he purred.

Okay, wow. 'Baby'? Me? The sanity ship is about to go down.

"What?" I asked, examining the stretch of duvet between us. There wasn't much room between our thighs, one shift from each of us and I'd be sitting on him.

Not that it would be the worst thing that could happen...

"Baby, look at me," he demanded. Because he'd gifted me with a sultry double-dose of 'baby', I threw down the anchor and watched the ship sink in one quick _whoosh._

"Okay." I took my time travelling up his hands and body until I'd made my way to his perfect jaw line. I hesitated on his lips before moving up to the side of face and over his cheeks. Finally, I'd reached my destination, the X on the map. His eyes were ready and waiting. My sunken ship had taken all my armour down with it and I was left defenceless. His eyes scorched with heat, hypnotically demanding me to succumb to his every demand.

_With pleasure!_ I drooled internally; ready to make his every wish come true.

_Who the hell are you?_ I asked myself as Xander raised an arm and caressed my cheek, outlining my lips with his index finger. I closed my eyes as he circled my lips for the second time, slower. A strange wave of emotion reverberated through my body and my head involuntarily tilted back as if to make it easier for the blood to rush about.

He grabbed the other side of my head with his free hand and straightened my neck. I opened my eyes and he slowly leaned in. I closed my eyes again, waiting for his lips to touch mine, but instead I felt the side of his face brush my cheek as he lowered his face into my neck and inhaled deeply.

He's smelling me?

"You smell good," he mumbled into my skin.

I lowered my head to rest it on his shoulder. "Um, thanks."

He took another smell, exaggerating the sniffle. "You smell _real_ good."

"I have good body wash," I shrugged.

"What brand?"

My eyes widened in amused shocked at his questioning.

Really?

"Ocean Bath Lilies."

"You do smell like fish and flowers," he spoke to my skin. "It smells amazing."

Um...what the hell? "Um yeah, not so much the fish, but I smell like flowers all the time."

"Stop it, you're making it harder," He warned, burying his lips further into my neck.

"Making what harder?" My body was frozen as he buried his face into my neck.

"Not asking you what I've wanted to since the train." he murmured over my skin.

"Okay... What's that?"

He exhaled. "Can I try on your underwear?"

My head jerked back from his shoulder in alarm. "What?!"

"Baby, please, let me try on your underwear." He let go of me and held the edge of bed again. Tightly.

I glanced away in disbelief and utter confusion. _What the hell?_

"Why do you want to wear my underwear?" I asked him warily.

"Let. Me. Try. On. Your. Underwear." Xander ordered quietly, enunciating each word.

WHAT.

THE.

FUCK!?

I jumped off the bed to stand in front of him with my arms crossed over my chest.

"How about no!" I snapped.

He leapt off the bed and halted an inch from my face.

"Why not?" His tone had changed from commanding to whiny, which caught me off guard.

I cringed. "Because I'm not into that shit, that's why."

"You'll like it, trust me." He spoke in his sexy voice again, but I was too freaked out about this new development to be affected

"Stop acting like you're a sexy gigolo! A fake! _You're_ a fruity little boy who's into freaky shit. My underwear stays on bitch!" I yelled at him.

His jaw dropped, but he quickly snapped it shut and pointed to my bag. "Then let me try one on from your luggage, you must have spares."

He'd shocked me again.

"I don't have another one," I replied coolly.

He grimaced, looking at me like I was crazy. "Yes you do, that's gross."

"That's gross?" I practically laughed in my amazement. " _You're_ the one who wants to try on my panties."

He shrugged. "Yeah, so what? It's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal," I retorted. "And you'd probably rip them!"

His eyes widened. "No, they wouldn't, my ass is smaller than yours!"

"How dare you! My ass is _not_ bigger than yours, you're a guy!"

"A fitter guy, baby. I'm in shape. My ass is firm and small. If you're good and let me wear your panties, I'll let you grab this." Xander's hand glided down his left buttock, erotically.

If that was even possible.....Fuck...it'll be awhile before I'm not traumatized by this moment.

"Okay, wow, that was a cold bucket of water." I took another step back, towards the door. "You need to leave," I ordered him as I unlocked the door.

"You don't want me to leave," He tried, his voice dropping seductively, "not really."

CHAPTER FIVE

_Why? Why me?_ I slid down the door, plopping onto the ground, my head resting on my bent knees. Tears of frustration began flowing down my face, dripping on my skirt. My legs were bare, I'd taken off my dark pantyhose before taking my nap, and I was well aware that Xander could see up my skirt.

He's probably eyeing the panties right now, getting excited...

I felt his penetrating stare scan my position on the ground as I cried silently. I sniffed and wiped the sides of my eyes. My hair had fallen in front of my face, so it felt somewhat private.

_Why is he so quiet?_ I thought when I noticed the only sound in the room was coming from me, crying onto my clothes.

"Cat got your tongue?" I spat out bitterly. I swung my hair aside so I could see what he was doing. Xander was still sitting on the edge of the bed, hands clutching the edges tightly. His eyes were closed as his head hung down.

What's his problem? I'm the one being emotionally scarred here!

I shook my head, beginning to feel irritated. It looked like he was trying to calm himself down, even though his rich ass couldn't possibly be dealing with the same problems as me. He had money, probably a business that people respected him for, besides being a little kinky with the whole ladies' underwear thing, I couldn't see what problems he could possibly have.

_Maybe he's upset about the plain black undies and wishing I'd worn a slinky satin pair from that designer underwear brand, Latisha's Closet_... I bet he likes the feel of satin on his ass! I giggled at the hysterical thought, imagining him sashaying in front of a mirror wearing pink satin underwear while snapping his fingers and shouting _'Work it, bitch!_ ' to himself.

"What? Are you upset about my choice in underwear?" I sighed, leaning my head against the door, smiling at him in disbelief. "What can I say, I like my underwear... like I like my men: plain."

Xander's head snapped up and a burst of aqua blue pierced through at me. The charm, the kink, the sexy look had disappeared, replaced by an expression that on some would have resembled empathy. But this was Xander, and from what I'd just experienced, the guy didn't seem capable of anything near the realm of empathy.

"What's your problem? What's with that fake sad look you've got? Isn't this what you wanted?" I snapped, lifting my skirt to reveal my underwear and do away with his infatuation.

"They're black and boring. Fruits of the Tree. That's the brand. Sorry to disappoint you. I buy 'em in packs of three from ZedStar, the discount store. They're cheap as dirt," I continued matter-of-factly. "I don't think you're going to want to wear this kind of women's underwear. It'll do nothing for your curves and it'll flatten your ass completely. Trust me, _I know!_ " I burst into a fit of giggles.

The bed springs creaked as Xander pushed off. He strode towards me and crouched down.

_What's he up to now? Don't tell me he discriminates against plain underwear._ He better not be discriminating my plain cotton panties. That bitch ass criminal would be lucky just to have a feel of them. Not that I'd let him anyways. I blinked at him and scooted away to prevent touching his thigh.

"What?" I groaned. "What do you want now?"

He manoeuvred closer and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I looked at him in surprise; I should have gotten up at the first sign of him leaning in, but my body froze beneath the shock of his touch, and the sincerity in his offer of a shoulder to cry on. My head found its way onto his shoulder and I focussed on breathing.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"It's all good," Xander whispered back, squeezing my shoulder.

"I'm sorry my underwear's boring," I muttered, embarrassed.

I heard him chuckle quietly. "It's okay."

"What kind do you usually go for?" I asked. "Bet you like the satin kind, you know the ones from Latisha's Closet?"

"I do love a nice satin pair, but they don't have to be from Latisha's Closet. As long as the shape and fabric's there, I'm not picky about the store. They can even be from this ZedStar store you speak about." He explained gently.

This was the weirdest conversation I'd ever had.

Ever.

We were sitting on the floor of a B&B discussing what kind of ladies' underwear he preferred wearing.

Weird, yet strangely comfortable – I felt at ease discussing this peculiar topic with him.

"Bullshit, you wouldn't be caught dead in ZedStar underwear; you're too fancy for that." I giggled into his shoulder.

What the hell are we talking about?!

Xander let out a low chuckle; I could feel him shake his head at me. "Perhaps, I'll venture one day to this ZedStar and explore their lingerie department."

"Fuck you. Stop saying 'this ZedStar. Don't act like you don't know what ZedStar is. Aren't you a good old Canadian boy?" I mumbled, sounding delirious.

"Yes please," He smirked. "And no, I don't know this ZedStar store you speak about, all though now that I think about it, I have heard a conversation or two regarding a huge discount department store being bought out by a giant U.S conglomerate. It's probably the same one. In a matter of a few months, this ZedStar will be no more."

Shit.....where was I going to buy underwear when that happened?

"Enough of this wallowing," he demanded, giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze before getting off the floor.

I stared up at him. "I'm not wallowing," I half-heartedly claimed.

"Get up." he ordered.

"Why?" I asked as I got up.

"Because we're going out."

"Where are we going?" I asked, bewildered and hesitant about whether I wanted to go out with him – let alone whether I should.

He's just a little kinky. He's harmless!

"I'm taking you somewhere you'll never forget," Xander explained. "It'll make you forget your sorrows completely."

I like the sound of that!

I nodded at him. "Okay. Let's go." I leaned down to pick up my shoes.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, eyeing my outfit with a horrified look. "You have to change first."

"What are you talking about? My outfit is brand new, why would I change?" I asked, offended at his disapproval.

"Because it's all wrinkled and belongs on the streets rather than where we're going."

_Well fuck you too!_ I glared at him in annoyance. It's not like I had much to choose from, I'd only packed my pyjamas and my outfit for Dad's party.

"I don't have anything else," I sighed, suddenly exhausted. "I only have one other outfit and that's for my dad's birthday tomorrow."

I'm never going to be good enough for anybody, not even kinky ladies'-underwear-wearing Xander. My life sucks!

I kicked away my shoes and sat on the edge of the bed with my head down. I could feel the tears prickling again.

"Oh no, not the waterworks again," he muttered worriedly as he came over to sit by me. His arm circled my shoulders, pulling me into him.

"I don't have anything good enough," I mumbled, choking back the lump that was building in my throat.

"It's all right. Easy enough to fix," he explained, sounding sweet.

I looked at him confused. "What do you mean 'easy enough to fix'?"

"Show me what you're wearing tomorrow night."

I hesitantly got off the bed and crouched next to my bag. I unzipped it and took out my new, beautiful, shiny black skinny jeans, and a transparent black blouse with the white tank top I planned to wear under it. He scanned the items with his assertive eyes.

Well?

My patience was wearing thin, I wanted to know whether he approved. I was also a little concerned about my sanity. Why was I worried about what he thought of my clothes? Who the hell was he anyways? Nothing but a stranger I'd only officially met a few hours ago.

He nodded once. "Yes. I like that. This, you're going to wear this tonight!"

I shook my head. "No, this is my outfit for tomorrow. If I stain, or wrinkle it, or something, I'll have nothing for tomorrow!"

"Don't you worry about that, it'll be good to go for tomorrow," Xander told me calmly.

I eyed him warily. I couldn't believe him. I looked back at my outfit, then the realization hit me: I hadn't packed shoes to go with it!

_Oh my God! How could I be so stupid? I can't believe I forgot the shoes! I'm gonna have to buy a pair tomorrow._ My bank balance flitted through my mind; it would be taking another hit.

"What now?" he asked, seeing my worried look.

I took a deep, stabilizing breath before explaining. "I forgot my shoes at home," I muttered sadly.

Xander chuckled lightly. "That's it? That's why you're upset?"

He took my shoulders in his hands, squeezing them. "Have no fear, that's another easy fix."
CHAPTER SIX

I could hear Xander making a phone call while I changed inside the tiny en-suite bathroom.

_I hope this will be worth it!_ I thought as I stared at the outfit I was supposed to wear to Dad's birthday party tomorrow night. Xander said we were going out. At this time of night, I figured we were either going to a bar or a restaurant. Whichever one it was, I'd have to be extremely careful not to ruin my clothes because I would be wearing them again tomorrow night.

The closet-style doors rattled beside me, making my mascara jump to my eyebrow, creating a thick, jagged line from my lashes.

_Just great!_ I grabbed some toilet paper and wet it. Why the hell was I going out with this psycho, ladies underwear wearing, princess boy, again?

My brain quickly answered. _'We're sorry; Marisa's common sense department is closed for the entire weekend. Don't leave a message, nobody up here cares and won't remember to bring it up on Monday morning when shit hit's the fan, and that's only if she's not dead by that time..... from making the horrible mistake of going out with a complete stranger.'_

Oh yeah....that's why.

The name was ass....Dumbass.

"Are you ready, darling?" Xander's muffled voice asked the door.

Darling?

"Almost finished!" I called back as I carefully wiped away the dark mess on my eyelid.

I took one final glance at the mirror before I zipped up my makeup case. I had to turn sideways in order to slide open the closet doors that the owners had, for some strange reason, chosen to use instead of a regular door.

But, hey, for forty-five dollars and breakfast in the morning I'd happily slide the door open; it provided privacy from the bedroom, so it did its job.

Xander, lying on my bed with his arms crossed behind his head, was gazing at me expectantly.

"Hey Mr. Panty boy.... Where're we going?" I asked while still standing beneath the doorframe.

A giant, mischievous grin spread across his face.

What am I in for tonight?

*~*~*

_Lethe,_ in large, neon blue letters blazed, brightening the dark alley the taxi idled in.

_Oh my God! I'm at_ Lethe! _Xander brought me to Lethe!_

Xander got out of the taxi and held out his hand for me. I automatically grabbed it and slid out of the taxi. The door shut behind me and I heard the car drive away.

I stared open-mouthed at the large double doors – there were no knobs or keyholes, the only way in was if someone inside opened the door for you. The sound of rusted locks creaked as if they hadn't been opened for a hundred years. Both doors swung open under the thrust of a pair of black-suited bouncers with neon blue neckties.

Wow.

Xander led the way, my hand still in his; the bouncers immediately shut the doors behind us. We walked into a long, glow-in-the-dark hallway, the neon blue tiles stretching towards the lone elevator. Xander pushed the button and we stood in the dark for a few seconds with only the glowing tiles to see by.

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open, a hint of trance music trickling out. My hand was tugged forward and I followed Xander into the elevator.

Floor to ceiling mirrors covered the interior; all I had to see by was the backlit number pad.

_How did I end up here?_ I stood with my sweaty hand in Xander's tight palm. I glanced up at him and stared in shock. He had sunglasses on.

Why did he need sunglasses when I could barely see as it was?

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" I asked in a hushed tone.

He didn't glance my way, but under the dim glow of the number pad I saw his lips begin to move. "You'll see," he replied nonchalantly.

I wanted in on the big secret. The underground club called Lethe was an urban legend in Ottawa; those who knew about it couldn't share its location or how to get in. Those of us who'd heard things about it, didn't even know whether it actually existed.

_Here's to experiencing things that exist._ I mentally clinked glasses with _Life_. The elevator chimed to announce our arrival on the main floor.

Xander's head turned slightly towards me. "Are you ready, my dear?"

"I hope so, panty boy." I murmured as the elevator doors opened.

Blue smoke filled every inch of my vision. I was tugged forward as Xander exited first. We collided with blue smoke and pulsing bright blue lasers that glided over our bodies as we crossed into the room. As the smoke cleared, I was instantly in shock. My mouth fell open as I beheld a room like no other club I'd ever seen before.

So this is Lethe!

I scanned the room inch by inch, starting in the centre and moving outward. It was shaped like an extremely long, rectangular gym. In the centre was a circular bar where servers donned skimpy white outfits that the lasers turned into a glowing blue. In the centre of the bar was a round stage with three poles extending to the ceiling. Pole dancers, in incredible costumes of white feathers and wings, moved their bodies artfully to the music and lights.

Hello, intergalactic heavenly circus!

I stared at the hundreds of people around the bar and in the private lounge spaces that bordered the room. Xander tugged my hand again and led me to a staircase I hadn't noticed.

Upstairs, we entered a private room with two long, low white couches, a coffee table in the middle, and an amazing view of the entire club, including the dance floor that I hadn't been able to see from below.

"Wow!" I exclaimed as he let go of my hand. I walked to the windowed balcony then turned around; Xander was sitting on the couch, legs crossed.

"Come and sit, Marisa," he purred, not smiling. "It's time to get this experience started."

_Experience?_ I worried for a second before brushing it off and sitting next to him on the couch.

"What do we do now?" I asked, hesitant.

He leaned forward and clapped his hands twice. A staff member appeared carrying a tray with six small glasses filled with blue liquid. He placed the tray on the table and vanished again.

"What's that?" I stared, hypnotized by blue liquid. The cups looked like they were carved out of ice.

"Have you ever had a Blue Lethe?" Xander asked, leaning over the table, his hand hovering by the glasses.

I shook my head, "What's a Blue Lethe?" I was growing more and more apprehensive. Maybe it wasn't the best idea....going out with this sketchy fuck.

A sardonic smile stretched across his face, his eyes still covered by his shades.

"That's precisely what you'll be asking yourself tomorrow." He smirked and grabbed two drinks, handing me one. I took it reluctantly.

_I don't know about this..._ I examined the drink closely.

"Drink, now," he ordered and then downed his drink in a single swallow.

Didn't you say you wanted to go out and get drunk tonight? Well, here you go – Time to get drunk, Marisa. Time to live!

I grimaced as I tipped the drink back and the icy liquid hit my lips, sending them into a panic at the sudden eruption of bubbles – it felt like I was drinking electricity.

My eyes closed as the drink slid down my throat. A burning sensation erupted and my mouth opened as if to let out steam. I put down the empty glass and faced Xander. He had a grin stretched across his face, staring at me in awe with a full cup in his hand.

"Now what?" I asked as the buzz of the drink wore off my heavy tongue.

He shook his head and silently laughed before tipping back his second drink.

_Whoa!_ I stared, impressed with his chugging ability.

He put his cup down and turned back to me as he wiped the side of his mouth. "Now, we drink again." He picked up another two glasses and handed me one.

The blue liquid again hypnotized me.

_Again!_ I took a deep breath and stretched out my drink-hand to him. "To a night I'll never forget!" I toasted as we clinked glasses.

"To a night we both won't forget!" Xander added with a knowing smile, and downed his drink faster than the first two.

_Here goes number two_. I inhaled deeply and brought my drink to my lips and downed it. As the first drop hit my tongue, my taste buds registered a difference: the liquid was no longer cold. Was it because the room was too hot or was it the way the drink was meant to be? The first drink I had was like drinking electricity, but this time explosions erupted all across my tongue as if I'd just downed a cup of crackling candy. I stuck my tongue out in shock and turned to Xander, who was beside himself as he tried to stifle his laughter.

"What is this?" I screamed hysterically, pointing to my extended tongue.

Xander exploded with laughter.

"Stop laughing at me! Whaaa deee yuuu gev meh!" My tongue felt so heavy, my words were coming out sluggish, even though I wasn't drunk yet.

"Oh darling. You weren't supposed to savour the flavour, just swallow it." He was wiping tears away from beneath his sunglasses.

I stared at him in shock. He hadn't given me any instructions on how to drink these so I'd assumed they were like any other drink. I shook my head, bewildered and pissed. I gave him a dirty scowl as I grabbed several napkins off the table. I wiped whatever remnants I could off my tongue before Xander yanked the napkins from my hand and tossed them behind the couch.

"Don't! You'll ruin the effect!" he ordered. He took my arm and got off the couch, pulling me up with him.

"Where are we going?" I yelped as he dragged me from the room.

"Let's dance. We've gotta work off the hard edge of the Blue Lethe!" Xander explained.

As soon as we were outside the room, the heavy bass obliterated any other noises. I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't even hear myself over the house music mixed with an R&B track. The man guarding the second floor unlocked the door and Xander and I were slammed with music, smoke, and lasers.

_I'm so glad I wore my converse!_ I thought as Xander sped down the stairs; if I'd worn heels I'd have tripped in my effort to follow him.

We were hit by clouds of blue, instantly becoming invisible to the spectators watching us descend – we were obviously something to look at because the second floor guard kept everyone but the most favoured from entering the private rooms.

Xander led me through the blue clouds. Every so often random people would rush by but Xander took his time, grooving to the music as he carefully navigated us to the dance floor.

He paused and turned to me. "Are you ready for this?" The lasers reflected off his sunglasses and I finally understood why he was wearing them – I'd already been blinded several times in our journey.

I looked passed him at the cloud-covered dance floor; hands and legs were the only things I could see clearly, telling me others were dancing close by as well.

Looking up at him, I nodded. "Yeah."

A devil-like smile crept over his face and he jerked my hand forward. Instantly, I was surrounded by hundreds of people grinding to the music. I stared wide-eyed at their sexy dance moves as Xander led me to the centre of the floor.

We stopped and he faced me as he began dancing, inching closer into my personal space. Normally, if you could eighty-six the whole wearing women's underwear thing, I wouldn't have minded dancing with him – I needed a sexy distraction – but this wasn't a perfect world and I couldn't forget his kinky hobby.

_Get over it!_ I mentally slapped myself. It wasn't as if I had to sleep with him, we would just be dancing, and there was nothing wrong with that.

I felt a sudden rush of heat shoot through every inch of my body. I gathered up in my head, making me feel light and heavy at the same time.

_What!_ I thought numbly, the bass of the music taking over any more thoughts.

I closed my eyes and threw my arms in the air, swinging them smoothly to the beat as I moved my hips. I knew now that I was one with the entire floor.

I felt two arms encircle my waist and flow with my hips. I opened my eyes and Xander leaned his forehead against mine and stared into my eyes. He smiled warmly and I smiled back.

CHAPTER SEVEN

What?

My head hurts... Bad.

I stretched my sore joints across the plushness of what I assumed was my bed. I knew one thing: I was lying on it diagonally. My hands stretched out, reaching for my pillow so I could use it as a shield against the nasty ass sunshine coming from a gap in the window shade.

_This is torture!_ I grimaced as the heat of the light burned a hole across my face. I let out a deep breath and slowly opened my crusty eyelids.

_Ugh!_ I gulped down the nasty saliva that had remained stagnant in my mouth.

_What the fuck happened?_ I rolled onto my back and wiped the crust off my eyes before feeling my forehead. I was burning hot, likely the result of two things: a crazy hangover and this blasted sun.

_This is what you wanted...right?_ I contemplated last night's desire to forget everything for a bit and just let loose, and if I showed up at Dad's birthday party a little hung over, then that would be fucking fine because Mom didn't deserve to have a smooth-running show – but I certainly deserved to be a little selfish.

_I have to pee._ I slowly slid off the bed and moved at a snail's pace to the bathroom. I stared at my homeless-like reflection in shock.

_Oh my God!_ My makeup from last night was smeared across my face. I looked like a nasty rat. I barely remembered how I'd gotten back to the B&B last night, or what I'd done for the last hour at the club, except for brief flashes of things that happened.

Oh God! Last night...was crazy!

I shook my head and turned on both taps. I washed my face with warm water, relishing in the glory of silky water that came as a huge relief to my poor, dry skin.

What did I put my body through last night?

After dancing incredibly close with Xander, he'd grabbed my arm and we'd returned to our lounge on the second floor, where I drank my third shot of Blue Lethe. As I finished, another tray came in, this time with eight glasses filled with green liquid.

"What's that?" I was sitting on the floor, eye level with the cups as I peered into them.

"Exactly what you think it is," he explained, stretching out across the couch and pushing his sweaty hair off his face.

Green liquid...alcohol... Absinthe?

I turned to him. "Absinthe?" I whispered.

"That it is, my darling." He sat back up and brought the tray to the edge of the table. He picked up two glasses and handed me one.

I stared at the drink in awe. _So this is Absinthe!_ I'd seen this drink in a movie where the characters had gone crazy, seeing doubles of people.

Would that happen to me too?

I turned to Xander with the drink in hand. He clinked his glass against mine.

"Get ready." A smirk slid across his face before he downed the drink completely.

_Bottoms up!_ I thought as I followed suit.

_Ahhhhh!_ I stuck out my tongue in horror, "What is that?!"

Xander fell back against the couch and burst out laughing.

That was the last thing I remembered....for now.

I carefully picked up my toothbrush and toothpaste. My limbs were protesting every movement. I stared at the mirror as I brushed my teeth, flabbergasted still at the previous night.

_What else happened last night?_ Another memory slowly floated to the surface.

We were on the dance floor again, clouds of blue enveloping us. I was having an amazing time – it was probably the alcohol. Suddenly, Xander disappeared and I was dancing alone. I was turning in circles, trying to find him when he burst out of a blue cloud with his arm around a tall sexy blonde in a glittery cream coloured strapless mini-dress. I was taken aback.

"Found someone to join our party!" Xander exclaimed as he dragged both of us off the dance floor.

The alcohol had hit every nerve in my body and I was getting very sluggish. I glanced at the new addition and was graced with a scowl, as if I were interrupting her moment with him.

"You're the one interruptin'... Slut!" I'd mouthed to her. Normally, I didn't slut shame girls I didn't know, but in her case.....okay totally lying here.....I did it all the time! And you know what...I wasn't sorry. No bitch gave me a dirty look for no reason. _She_ best expect more beautiful words like that coming from my sexy mouth.

I struggled to keep up with Xander as he ascended the stairs with lightning speed. Sexy Blonde Bitch was having no problem going up the stairs in her 6-inch hooker heels. Guess it wasn't the first time she'd made the trek dressed like that.

_Definitely a ho!_ I thought as Xander released my hand to push open the door of the lounge. My shoulder got nudged back as Blonde Bitch shoved her way in ahead of me.

"Bitch!" I grunted, regaining my balance.

"Baby, why'd you bring her in here? I thought this was a party for two," she mumbled sweetly into his ear.

Xander sat on the couch and she straddled him, shoving her boobs in his face and moving to the faint sound of the music. Xander hit a button on a remote that had suddenly materialized and a sexy song began to play. I was still hesitating just outside the door, unsure if I should interrupt their private moment.

_Fuck it!_ I walked in and Xander rubbed the seat beside him, motioning for me to sit there.

"This is a party of three, doll-face, you understand," he told her softly from behind the shade of his sunglasses. She looked ready to melt.

_Jesus, he's not that smooth!_ I shook my head at her over-exaggerated swooning. I leaned into the cushions and rested my head back. I was beginning to feel dizzy as I stared at Bitchy Blonde giving Xander a lap dance.

_Honestly, I don't know what the fuss is about Absinthe. I don't feel anything, but tired!_ I thought as Bitch Blonde's sparkly cream-coloured dress turned red...pink...white...blue.

_Her dress is so pretty!_ I thought, smiling at her dancing awkwardly in Xander's lap.

Why was she doing that?

This wasn't a strip club.

He wasn't going to pay her.

Or was he?

And if she was, why wasn't she giving him his money's worth?

"Xander likes it naked," I murmured, feeling my eyelids grow heavy. I was about to pass out.

"Did you hear that, baby? Follow my darling's instructions." Xander instructed Blonde Bitch as I closed my eyes for a second.

_What? It's not like she's going to do that, just because he asks!_ I smirked at Xander's outlandish request. But when I opened my eyes, she was straddling Xander in just a cream-coloured lace thong. I gaped at Xander who was busy eyeing her downstairs.

_Oh my God!_ I fell off the couch with a thud. I wasn't sticking around for this; it was definitely a private moment, that required only two people. Although, Xander probably had no problem with an audience.

Or another participant.

Could anyone say 'Hell no'!

_I'm so not joining!_ I thought as I crawled away.

"Where are you going?" Xander asked, amused.

I felt his shaded eyes watch me crawl away. "I'm good!" I didn't turn back. I struggled to my feet and made my way around the couch. "I'm going back to the dance floor. I'll be back in...twenty minutes!" I left the room before he had a chance to say anything else.

_Twenty minutes should be enough time for them to do what they need to do._ The rush of adrenaline from seeing Blonde Bitch in her birthday suit faded as I made my way down the stairs, steadying myself using the railing.

_Should I get some water?_ I thought as I finally reached the floor. I stared at the crowd of people surrounding the bar and shook my head. Instead, I headed back to the dance floor; some exercise to burn off the alcohol would work just fine.

I was in the midst of people and blue clouds, when suddenly arms circled around me. I turned to see Xander dancing. He grinded his hips against mine, smiling happily, seeming relaxed.

"Has it been twenty minutes already? Feels like it's only been ten!" I shouted into his ear, laughing as well.

Amused, Xander shook his head at me as a server stopped in front of us with a tray of blue and green shots.

He grabbed two shots and handed me one. "Are you ready?"

I stared in bewilderment. "What's this?"

"A game changer!" Xander announced and downed his shot, then turned to me expectantly.

I looked at the server and everyone dancing, they were all staring at me, waiting for me.

_Fuck it!_ I downed the shot and slammed the glass back onto the tray.

"Happy?" I shouted to him.

"Very," he said with his devil smile.

The memory faded out.

What happened after? How did I get back to my room?

I glanced down for the first time and noticed I was in my pyjamas. So no matter how drunk I'd been, I'd been coherent enough to change out of my party clothes.

_Or did I?_ I realized with horror. _What if Xander brought me back and changed my clothes for me?_

I scrambled to find my phone and call him.

"Well, hello sleepyhead," came Xander's cheery voice. "Waking up late on the day of your father's birthday party, I'm appalled!" He laughed.

_Late?_ I glanced at the time on my phone.

_Shit!_ It was 2:15 p.m.!

How could I have slept in that late? I had to get ready for the party and I didn't even know if my outfit had made it through the night. And I had to go buy matching shoes.

_Oh my God! How am I going to do all of this and make it on time? The party starts at 7 p.m.!_ I thought, sinking backwards on to my bed.

"Hello? Anyone there?" Xander called through the receiver.

_Oh, Xander!_ I remembered.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

He chuckled before responding. "A lot of things... A lot of _amazing_ things!" I could hear the suggestiveness in his tone.

_Hopefully not with me!_ I knew he did something with Blonde Bitch, but did that warrant 'a lot of amazing things'? Especially when I didn't even remember what'd happened after the blue and green shot.

"How did I get home?" I asked.

"I brought you home." he answered.

"Weren't you drunk too?"

"I have a high tolerance for alcohol." he informed.

"What about my clothes... You didn't change me, right?" I asked hesitantly. _Please say no, please say no!_

"Of course I didn't!" Xander replied, sounding offended.

_Thank you, God!_ I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You changed in the bathroom while I waited outside. I was a perfect gentleman." He sounded as if he was declaring an oath in court.

You? A perfect gentleman? Puh-lease!

"Yeah, okay," I muttered. At least he hadn't seen me naked.

"Although," Xander began, "I was surprised as I was getting ready to leave you."

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "At what?"

"At your parting gift," he replied simply.

"What parting gift?"

"A thank you gift for me. I was deeply touched by the gesture, considering everything that happened earlier."

"What did I give you?" I asked, worried.

"What I've wanted from the moment I met you."

My eyes widened as dread filled me.

"But, don't you worry. I gave something in return. To relieve the nakedness your beautiful bottom would have felt otherwise."

"What!" I stood up and pulled my pants down. I stared in horror and disgust at what I was wearing instead of my plain black panties.

A cream-coloured lace thong!

"No!" I shouted through the phone.

Xander laughed uncontrollably. I threw my phone down and yanked off the disgusting thong and flung it across the room.

I grabbed my phone again. "How could you? That's disgusting!" I shouted into the receiver.

"Oh relax. I asked her how long she'd been wearing them for, and she said they were brand new, just put them on before coming out tonight," he explained as if that made it all okay.

So?!

"I'm going to kill you! Murder you in the worst way possible, leaving nothing but your ashes for the police to find. I don't care if she just put them on. I've got her nasty juices all over me!" I screamed, pacing around my room half naked.

"Oh Marisa, please stop speaking like that. It's turning me on...badly." he purred, extra breathily.

If that was even possible.

"Shut up! I can't believe you did this! I've gotta shower!" I hung up on him and flung my phone across the bed. I found my toiletries and a towel. I was going to scrub ten times just to make sure I got every ounce of that skank's juice off of me!

_God! What if I get a disease?_ I shivered at the thought as I turned the shower on and got in. I grabbed my body wash, overjoyed that I had half the bottle left. I knew I'd easily use it all. I had to wash that area like my life depended on it. It felt like her nasty juices wanted to set up shop......for life.

_Wash... Now!_ I ordered myself.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I used the entire bottle. Then I opened and poured water in it, shook it, and used that too. The creepy crawly feeling slowly wore off as I scrubbed the skanks juice away under the heavy beat of the hot water.

_Disgusting!_ I shook my head with a look of distain as I towel dried my body. I opened the door and waves of steam escaped. Goosebumps covered my body as I walked out and picked up my bag, placing it on the bed. I searched through it and took out one of four extra pieces of underwear I'd brought; a basic black bra and basic black undies.

Last night, I lied to Xander about not having an extra pair. He mentioned it was disgusting – I agree. I bought my underwear in a four pack, always. I may be slightly lazy with my choice of clothing, but I did not wear the same underwear days in a row – that's gross. I became dizzy as I crouched over to slide on my underwear. My body swayed drunkenly in response and I grabbed the edge of the bed to hold myself still.

_Fucking hell! What was I thinking going out with him last night – even if it was to go to Lethe!_ I thought for the hundredth time.

While I had been showering, I'd gone over last night's collection of memories again, deciphering the moment when I should have put a stop to my reckless drinking that created this morning's underwear catastrophe. I grabbed a fresh blue t-shirt and slid it on. The glorious soft fabric felt like feathers against my body.

_Love this shirt!_ I skipped the pyjama pants since they had interacted with the dreadful cream coloured lace thong. I was a hundred percent sure the nasty juices had made it on to the pants, so I grabbed some napkins from the counter and picked my pants up, scrunching it into a ball before shoving it to the corner of my travel bag, leaving the napkins with them.

_There, I'll deal with that when I get home!_ I was so disgusted that if I could have, I would have thrown them out, but this trip was seriously making a dent in my finances. Beggars couldn't be choosers, and I needed to save money when I got back to Toronto. Surely, a good wash or two, or three would eliminate Blonde Bitch's DNA for good.

They'll be good as new.... Hopefully!

Fingers crossed!

Speaking of clothes I couldn't afford to replace, my party clothes for tonight were still missing. I searched the room in, wearing no pants still. I checked my bag, the bathroom, underneath the bed and under the covers. My clothes were nowhere to be seen.

My eyes widened in panic.

What was I going to do?

I've lost my clothes!

I stopped moving and took a deep breath. I needed to think carefully about what had happened last night.

Xander said he brought me back to my room, and that I'd changed my clothes in the bathroom, and that I'd come out changed, and then had exchanged undergarments with him. When I'd gone back into the bathroom – I hoped – I had slid the thong on. Xander had waited outside in the room with my party clothes within an arm's reach.

My jaw dropped.

That bastard......Xander took my party clothes!

I grabbed my phone and called the fucker.

"Hello there." he purred, picking up on the second ring.

"Where the _fuck_ did you take my party clothes?" I yelled into the receiver and quickly he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny you asshole! Where did you put my clothes?" I growled, doing my best to sound threatening.

"Relax." he muttered relaxed-like, as if he were chilling on the beach and the topic of conversation was nothing important.

_He did not just tell me to relax!_ I sucked air through my grinding teeth. "You did not just tell me to relax! This is not a relaxed matter, this is important! My party clothes are missing! My dad's birthday party is tonight! What am I going to do?"

"Oh Marisa!" he sighed. "Do you remember when I told you that you threw up?"

I cringed. "Yeah, I threw up outside, that's what you said."

"Well your beautiful blouse was punished with splatters of your own vomit. It repelled back against the concrete. Darling, you were crouched down on all fours....don't remind me." He moaned, his voice sounding muffled all of a sudden. "I'm getting hard."

I grimaced, gritting my teeth. "Shut up. I don't want to hear about that shit anymore. Unless you want your dick cut off in the immediate future, you keep your rock-hard status to yourself from now on. Do you hear me, mother fucker?"

"Stop it, I can't take it anymore, the volume of your angry voice....isn't helping either. My zipper's practically bursting." Xander purred breathily. "Baby, it's getting huge by the second. I need a hot mouth, a wet tongue and a nice set of teeth to fix this...big....gift you've given me."

What the fuck?

Why would he need a set of teeth?

I thought guys didn't like it when you bit them during blowjobs?

Whatever.

I turned around and slammed backwards onto the bed. "Jesus Christ. Is there something that won't get you hard?" I grumbled, irritated.

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is. But that is a story for another time." he explained, nonchalantly.

"Xander, for the last time, where are my party clothes?" I muttered, lifelessly.

He sighed loudly. "I threw them out __"

I leaned back up instantly, wide eyed. "You did what! What am I going to do! The party's in four hours!"

"Relax__"

"Don't tell me to relax! If you tell me to relax one more time....I will find you and hurt you.....prison style..... understand?" I growled, feeling the urge to smash every wall here, just so I'd make it out faster on route to kicking that piece of shit's ass.

I crossed my legs, holding the shakes down.

"As I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me. All is taken care of my dear." he explained smoothly, oblivious to my hostility.

"Oh yeah, how is that? How did you take care of everything?" I spat back unconvinced.

There was a knock on the door.

_What the hell._ I got off the bed. "Just a minute!"

"Ahhhhh, they've arrived." Xander exclaimed, sounding relieved.

I stopped in the middle of the room, wrapping a towel around my waist. "What did you do now?"

"I've sent reinforcements." Xander explained.

Considering whoever just knocked was just sent by Xander, I slowly turned the knob, feeling my heart jackhammer at the potential horror I'd have to face. I opened the door, apprehensively, and blinked in shock. A woman with a sleek black bob framing her beautiful face, stood just outside my door. Dressed like she was an editor for a major worldwide fashion magazine, she wore a beautiful crisp black suit. She held a portable rack filled with plastic covered hangers, flowing fabric edging out the bottom.

"Hello, are you Marisa?" she asked right away, scanning me, focusing a little too long on the towel wrapped around my waist.

"Yes." I muttered hesitantly to her and the phone.

"That's great!" She exclaimed, sounding relieved. She pushed the clothing rack inside, making me jump out of the way.

"What is this Xander?" I whispered into the receiver.

Xander chuckled. "I told you my dear. I've taken care of everything. Now hang up, it's rude to talk on the phone while you have a guest."

Dial tone.

That bitch just hung up on me.

_He really shouldn't be giving etiquette advice!_ I tugged my towel again, making sure it was secure. I turned to the stylish woman who was sorting through each hanger with a discerning eye. She grabbed one hanger and pulled back the plastic sheathe, showing a beautiful long chiffon black dress underneath it.

"Yes, I think this will be lovely for you!" she exclaimed excitedly, flipping between hangers again. She turned around abruptly and towered her taller figure over me.

_How tall is she?_ I glanced down at her shoes. They were classic closed toe, sparkly red ruby six-inch heels. _Damn, should I call her Dorothy?_

"Who are you?" I asked apprehensively as she scanned me for the millionth time since arriving. Her piercing green eyes stopped moving and her head snapped up.

"How rude of me!" she exclaimed regretfully, taking a step back to stretch out her perfectly French Manicured hand. "Maria Tettles, personal shopper. Pleased to meet you!"

I apprehensively stretched out my arm and shook her hand. "Personal shopper?"

"That's right, my services have been acquired by Mr. Barns." Maria explained, letting go of my hand to return to her portable clothing rack.

"When did he acquire your services? Surely it would have been too late of a notice for you to work under?" I asked Maria, tightening my towel.

"I received the call at 5 a.m., Ms. Gellys."

My eyes widened. _5 a.m.!_

"You were awake at that time?" I stammered, shocked. Maria waved me off and took out three pieces from the middle of the rack to hang them at the end.

"I'm always available, especially for important clients." she explained, her back to me.

"Xander's an important client?" I asked, in disbelief. Who the hell was this guy?

"If not one of my most important ones. Now, let's see you!" She started scanning me again. "You're tall, but not too tall. That's good."

She pulled up my shirt all of a sudden, surprising me. "Hey!" I immediately tightened my hold on the towel in case she got any other ideas about other body parts she needed to check.

If you grab my towel lady, I'm going to....

"Your waist is slim, that's good." Maria sighed in relief. She lets go of my shirt; I quickly pulled it back down and held it firmly against my towel. She grabbed a strand of my hair and lifted it up.

"Dark brown, hmmmmm." she mumbled unimpressed. She let go of my hair and turned back to her clothing rack. "Not to worry darling, just wait till Gustavo shows up. He'll do his magic in no time."

"Magic?" I repeated, grabbing a few strands and examining my hair for myself to see what she meant when she said ' _Dark brown, hmmmmm'._

"What's your favourite colour?" She pushed a few hangers forward, making a squeak sound that caused me to cringe.

"Blue." I answered, shuttering from the sound. Maria clapped excitedly.

"Really, that's fabulous! I'm so happy. I have just the dress, it's perfect actually." Maria pulled out a hanger, its plastic sheathe went all the way to the floor as she held it up.

_That's a long dress!_ I stared wide eyed, scared a little about what could be underneath it. Maria pushed the remaining hangers forward, placing the perfect dress back on to the rack, hanging in open space.

"Wait, I'm not going to be able to see it?" I glanced back and forth between the rack and Maria.

She turned around and crossed her arms over her chest, her green eyes appalled.

"Absolutely not. We have to wait for Gustavo, I need his opinion!" Maria glanced at her gold watch. "What time is this party? Mr. Barns failed to mention a time you had to be ready by."

"7 p.m."

Her head snapped up, eyes worried. "Oh my goodness, its 3 p.m. right now. Time's going to be an issue." She took out her phone and mumbled. "Gustavo, where are you?"

"Gustavo?"

"My dear." Maria exaggerated. "Gustavo is beyond a miracle worker. Just you wait and see what creation he'll turn that drab dark brown hair of yours into."

I held my hair in defense. I liked my hair colour. It was all natural. A knock on the door interrupted our moment. Maria's eyes shot up, exited.

"Oh wonderful, he's arrived! I hope he brought Sammy with him!" Maria expressed in relief as she went to open the door.

"Sammy?"

"Your nails dear, are dreadful." Maria said snottily before opening the door. "Finally!"

"Gustavo darling you made it!" Maria exaggerated in mock-worry.

"Show me the girl!" Gustavo ordered, marching into the room. Gustavo looked to be taller than six feet. He wore a white button down shirt, well-tailored red slacks, and expensive looking spiked leopard print loafers.

This man dressed to impress.

He pushed back his gold coloured sunglasses over his beautifully sculpted gelled blond hair, showcasing his cleanly shaved tanned skin and stopped right in front of me. Behind him, a woman with a cherry-red fringed bob, wearing a black blouse and skinny jeans, came shuffling in holding five black bags with Gustavo engraved in gold italic across each of them.

"Ahhhhh, yes, very beautiful. Except for the dark brown hair. I don't like it, and it's too long. I'm going to have to cut it." Gustavo said to Maria, as if I wasn't even there. I grabbed a few strands again, protectively. I didn't know if I wanted my hair cut. I liked it long. I've always had it long.

It was natural; simple in the way that best described me as a person. I was not a stand out. I wasn't someone who dazzled in a crowd of people. I liked that I had more of an understated look.

"Sit down." Gustavo motioned to the chair. Maria turned the chair around and pushed it behind me, nudging it against the back of my thigh. "Hurry up, we don't have much time. Maria texted that the party starts at seven?"

I sat in the seat reluctantly. "Yes."

I glanced at them as they stood in front of me, assessing everything about me probably for the millionth time. "I'm not sure how I feel about my hair becoming shorter."

Maria's jaw dropped, and the cherry red haired girl looked away. Gustavo jerked his chin back and crossed his arms across his chest, and raised a beautifully threaded eyebrow. "Do you know who I am?"

"No...." I began to say but Gustavo's expression quickly turned from attitude prissy man to appalled and disgusted man. "I mean... yes."

"I'm Gustavo!" Gustavo hissed in disbelief.

"He's Gustavo!" Red fringe added.

"Gustavo!" Maria declared snottily.

They all glared down at me, waiting.

"You're Gustavo." I repeated apprehensively to quickly save face. It worked, their appalled expressions quickly morphed into relief. I had finally caught up.

"Finally, she gets it!" Maria declared in relief.

"I get it!" I added, reassuringly.

"Sammy, neatly set my tools and products on the counter!" Gustavo clapped his hands and red fringe AKA Sammy rushed with the bags to the counter. "Right away, boss!"

As Sammy unloaded each bag, Gustavo turned to Maria. "What is she going to wear?"

Maria grabbed the hanger off the rack and flipped the plastic sheath up at an angle at which only Gustavo could see.

"Yes – yes, I like that, and I know just what to do with her hair." Gustavo nodded, transfixed by whatever Maria was keeping secret underneath the plastic.

"I want to see!" I whined, getting up from the chair.

Gustavo turned back to me. "Sit back down. And don't make me tell you again. We're under a time crunch, girl!"

I sat back down in a huff. "I want to see the dress."

"No and no. It's going to be a surprise. Just wait until we reveal the entire look in front of that full-length mirror on the wall. That's why there's a full length mirror my dear, for moments like that." Maria exclaimed.

"Yes, just wait until we're done. It's going to be magical!" Sammy added, adding the final tool and product on the counter.

"Magical?" I repeated in disbelief.

"Magical." Gustavo declared with a dreamy look in his eyes.

It dawned on me all of a sudden that these highly skilled professionals needed to be paid for their services. Xander had not mentioned anything about paying for these services.

"Wait! This is all great and everything, but I can't pay you guys. I don't have that kind of money__"

Maria held her hand up, motioning for me to stop. "Not to worry. Mr. Barns agreed to take care of everything."

I gaped at her. "Xander? He's doing all of this for me?"

"Yes, and yes! You can thank him later! We have work to do!" Gustavo yelled impatiently, turning to a wide-eyed Sammy with his arm extended out. "Brush number twenty five, now!"

CHAPTER NINE

Two and half excruciating hours later, my head had never felt this violated. Gustavo was definitely a man who knew what he was doing, but that didn't mean he did it delicately, or perhaps I'd just made him so irritated with my constant moaning that he decided to take it out on me the only way he knew how. With my poor scalp.

"Absolutely amazing!"

"What's amazing? Can I see now?" I asked Gustavo as he stood back for a moment.

"No darling, you'll ruin the surprise."

"I don't know what the fuss is all about. I'm not some diamond in the rough you guys can polish and I'll somehow come out sparkling and fabulous. I'm as plain as they come__"

"Stop talking and pucker those luscious lips." Sammy interrupted, grabbing my chin and bringing a gloss brush to my lips.

_What colour is she using? It better not be pink!_ I puckered my lips as the brush coated my lips with a sticky texture.

Ugh! I hate overloading my face with makeup! Why can't they give me the minimal look my face is accustomed to?

"I must say, that for two and half hours, we've outdone ourselves!" Maria exclaimed happily.

"I honestly surprise myself sometimes, but who am I kidding, I'm Gustavo, the miracle worker." Gustavo practically sighed, titling his head to the side.

Wait – is he serious?

"There, what do you think?" Sammy asked after letting go of my chin and lowering the brush.

All three stood back, assessing me again.

"More mascara, and she needs more hairspray_"

"No – no more hairspray! I hate that stuff!" I exclaimed, shaking my head in protest.

"Hush. Just take it." Gustavo ordered. "After all, it'll be worth it in the end!"

"It better be." I muttered.

"Stop complaining – Open your mouth!" Sammy ordered and leaned in with the mascara brush. She rolled the black gunk on to my lashes and the edges of my eyes began to tingle with need. When Sammy had originally applied the texture to my lashes, I was tempted to scratch my eyes when the after effects began to irritate me. But I've been holding back with all my might, not wanting to smudge the mascara, ruining all of her hard work. Now as Sammy was adding another coat, I didn't know if I had it in me not to scratch.

Just breathe....

Sammy dropped her hand, satisfied. "There, all finished."

_Finally!_ I sighed in relief. "Can I see now?"

"No!" Maria said as she grabbed a hanger off the rack, its contents covered by a small plastic sheathe. She held it out in front of me. "Go and put these on."

Thanks to these three bossy people, I was quickly turning into a nice obedient puppy that did as she was told. Without hesitating, I grabbed the covered hanger out of her impatient hands and headed towards the bathroom. However, there was a matter that was bothering me, so I paused between the bathroom doorframe and faced Gustavo who had taken my seat in mock-exhaustion.

"Can you please take these curlers out of my hair? I hate them! They're making my head hurt!" I pleaded, pointing to my head.

Gustavo rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed loudly. Clearly exasperated, he folded his perfectly tanned arms and scowled at me. "No, and no. Now hurry up and change, we've still got a ways to go with that hair of yours!"

I scowled back, frustrated. I wanted to give them all the finger and tell them to just go fuck themselves. These damn curlers were pulling my hair like crazy and my scalp was in pain. I was getting a headache already.

I begrudgingly entered the bathroom and slid the door shut. I dropped my towel for the first time since their arrival and kicked it to the side.

_Let's see what has them so excited!_ I pulled the plastic sheathe over and instantly gaped at its hidden contents.

_What the hell!_ Hanging delicately on the expensive hanger was a fucking cream coloured strapless bustier and a matching cream coloured thong. Both pieces were embroidered with black lace!

_Mother Fucker! Did he pick this shit out on purpose!_ I growled inwardly as I hung the hanger on the door hook. I took a step back, taking a moment to chill out and examine the lingerie, before I did something irrational and stupid... like stuff these clearly expensive pieces into the toilet!

Even though the bastard obviously picked out the lingerie, they were beautiful. I checked the tag.

They're designer!

Taking a long deep breath, I took off my _now drab_ basic black undergarments. I slid on the beautiful thong first. It felt silky smooth against my skin, nothing like Bitch Blonde's nasty cream coloured lace thong – probably because it was cheap just like its owner!

This isn't so bad....

There was loud knocking on the door.

"Hurry up in there, we don't have time!" Gustavo yelled impatiently.

_Hold your horses.... I'm busy..._ I couldn't stop staring at my lower region. Thank God, I'd shaved before in the shower. My legs looked good. Really good.

"Almost done!" I yelled back.

_A girl could get used to this!_ I posed playfully, giggling with glee. It was amazing. I never thought I could be one of those girls that would get all giddy over underwear.

I was probably worse.

Loud knocking interrupted my happy moment again.

"Hurry up!" Maria shouted this time.

"I'm coming, I'm just putting on the bustier!" I yelled back, pulling the bustier off the hanger.

_So pretty!_ I gawked at the craftsmanship of the garment, examining every little detail, every inch of the exquisite lace trim.

It was out of this world.

And it was all for me.

But here, I came to a dilemma. How in the hell was I going to put this on? I'd never put on something this beautiful, this intricate before.

Just go for it, maybe you'll figure it out along the way.

I unbuttoned the entire back and wrapped it around me, holding it together with my hands.

Maybe it fastens together like a bra?

"What are you doing in there?" Gustavo snapped.

"I'm trying to put this bustier on, so hold your horses!" I yelled back.

"Do you need help?" Maria asked.

_Yes...but I don't want to walk out like this...._ Before I had a chance to decide whether or not I wanted the help, the bathroom door abruptly slid open.

"Hey!" I cried in shock. The three of them stood in front of the door with amused expressions.

"For goodness sakes! Let me do it!" Maria ordered, marching into the bathroom. "Turn around!"

There was no way I was turning around. I was wearing a thong, and my ass was bare.

"I'm not turning around, my ass is hanging out!" I protested, wide eyed.

"We work in the fashion industry, dear. You've got nothing we haven't already seen, times a thousand!" Maria explained impatiently. I glanced at Gustavo and Sammy, and they nodded.

I really didn't have a choice. Time was not on my side and if I wanted to make it to this party on time, I needed to turn around.

"Fine." I mumbled begrudgingly. I turned around and immediately Maria grabbed a hold of the bustier and began buttoning it up.

"If it's any consolation, you've got a really nice butt." Sammy said.

"That is very true." Gustavo added.

"Thanks...I think." I reply hesitantly.

Maria latched the last button and turned me around. "There, all finished. You see, that wasn't so bad!"

"I guess not." My face burned, this wasn't a normal everyday thing for me, standing in front of complete strangers almost naked.

"No reason to be shy, you pull off the lingerie beautifully. In fact, you should never leave the house without it on, ever." Maria said with a discerning eye as she took a step back to stand beside Gustavo and Sammy.

I gazed down, seeing the entire lingerie set for the first time. The fabric felt incredibly soft against my skin, at the same time the construction of the garment felt as if it would have no problem keeping me all in.

_Expensive for a reason.....I get it now._ I struggled to not grin like a peppy girly girl, but the smile slowly stretched out. That bastard, he's turning me into one of those girls. Suddenly the thought of Xander helped control the grin.

"I bet Xander picked this set out." I claimed, rolling my eyes.

"Mr. Barns selected these undergarments earlier today, thinking they'd suit you, and hats off to him, they do look great on you." Maria announced.

"Suit me – or suit him?" I mumbled knowingly.

"What did you say?" Maria narrowed her eyes.

"Oh nothing. So, now what happens?" I asked, looking at each of them. Gustavo snapped to.

"Come, we're going fix that hair – Sammy, her nails!" Gustavo ordered, returning back to stand behind the chair.

Sammy snapped to. "Yes boss! Come on Marisa, we don't have much time for your nails!"

*~*~*

One hour later, Sammy gave my toes their first ever French pedicure and painted my nails ruby red.

"I couldn't do anything about the dark brown in the time we were allocated, but my serum definitely helped shine it up. Sigh.... I'm amazing!" Gustavo boasted to Sammy and Maria while fluffing my hair, pulling it to the side of my neck. "Finished to perfection."

_Fucking finally!_ I sighed in relief. "Can I see now?"

That was the thirtieth time I asked that question.

"No!"

That was the hundredth time I heard that answer.

"We have to put the dress on you first, then the shoes, then you may look in the mirror and see the entire look in all its glory. Sigh.... we are amazing!" Maria exclaimed, tilting her head to the side. Sammy nodded in agreement.

_These people, fucking hell they really know how to kiss their own asses!_ "Okay, let me see the dress."

"Be prepared, for I have a dress your fashion virgin eyes have never seen before!" Maria said excitedly and turned, grabbing the covered dress off the rack. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. _Just do it before I lose it, lady!_

Maria pulled the plastic off and I blinked five times. My jaw dropped.

_What?_ I was confused, because... was that for me?

Before me was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It was a strapless dress, black on top and the skirt was grey and white. It was covered with a sleeveless see-through black overlay.

Wow!

"What is that?" I muttered bewildered.

"That my dear is a BBFCGC dress. Straight off the runway. It's designer and incredibly lush. But if you want to get technical, it's a banded knit dress with a chiffon overlay. Sigh!" Maria answered while taking the entire plastic cover off and lifting the dress up higher.

"It's for me?" I asked quietly, slowly. I was dress-struck!

"It's all for you." Maria grinned widely. The room became quiet for a few seconds.

"There's no blue in that." I noticed and Maria scowled, irritated.

"There's grey... hello!" Maria rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated huff. I bet she was thinking... _Doesn't this stupid girl know anything about colours!_

"Get up!" Maria ordered and I didn't have to be asked twice. I practically jumped out of the chair.

"Hey not so fast, you'll ruin my work!" Gustavo cried, rushing to my side to fix the lone strand that successfully escaped from the hair-sprayed hair creation he'd worked so hard at perfecting for the past hour.

_Fuck. You. Hairspray. Never. Again. Fuck. You._ I sighed in relief, instantly feeling better now that I got that out of my chest.

Maria unzipped the back and held it open for me to step through. "Easy there, you don't want to rip 'The Dress'!" She cried as I put one foot in. I followed with the next one, slower, more delicately. Maria pulled the dress up smoothly, the fabric feeling silky smooth against my skin. I pulled my arms through and Maria zipped me up.

_This is nice!_ I ran my hands against the chiffon overlay.

"Perfect!" Maria exclaimed, smoothing out the dress.

"Beautiful!" Gustavo added, dreamy eyed as he scanned the dress.

"You're a star!" Sammy added excitedly, balling her hands together against her chest as if she were trying to contain herself from exploding from happiness.

_Really – Do I really look that good?_ I stared back and forth between the dress and the three beauty wizards gawking at me.

"Now the shoes!" Maria sang, clapping her hands loudly. She pulled out a box hidden inside the bottom of the rack. "Are. You. Ready. For. The. Most. Perfect. Shoes. For. This. Dress?"

I nodded slowly and she took the lid off.

I blinked ten times.

Never in my life, had I seen a pair of shoes so beautiful. I was speechless.

These were those shoes.

"Wow." I muttered bewildered. "Those are for me?"

Maria nodded happily.

"What are they?" I asked, trying to keep my jaw from dropping.

"They're AAFGRD. Straight off the runway, silver open toe high heels with a cut-out detail cuff at the ankle. They're designer and completely lush." Maria explained, tilting her head to the side. "They're amazing, aren't they?"

Everyone nodded and gawked at 'The Shoe' for a few seconds as Maria held them up.

"Let's put these on now, shall we." Maria placed the box down and pulled the shoes out. I slid into them and Maria zipped the back. "Now for the full reveal."

Sammy clapped her hands excitedly. Gustavo grabbed hold of my shoulders and pushed me slowly towards the front of the mirror. "Eyes closed."

I shut my eyes and walked in my new shoes, which were incredibly easy to walk in.

"Are you ready?" Maria, Gustavo and Sammy asked in unison.

"Yes, I am." I breathed.

"Open your eyes."

I slowly opened my eyes and staring right back at me was someone I didn't recognize. Her eyes were done up all smoky, her dark brown hair glistened beautifully in loose curls pushed to the side, her lips were painted a glossy coral colour that complimented her smooth creamy complexion.

_Who the hell are you?_ I looked at the three them hanging beside me in confusion. "Who's that?"

They all laughed.

"That's you silly girl!" Sammy squealed.

"That's me!" I exclaimed, bewildered. The dress fell over my body perfectly, as did the shoes, which made my legs look fabulous.

"Twirl, you know you want to!" Gustavo exclaimed, grinning widely.

Honestly, I've never been a twirl in my dress kind of girl, hell I barely wore dresses, but now seeing myself for the first time all glammed up, I think I'm turned.

I twirled once and stopped abruptly to gawk more at myself in the mirror.

"What time is it?" Sammy asked worriedly.

"It's 6:45 p.m.!" Gustavo said, looking at his cellphone.

"Oh my goodness, you're going to be late!" Maria announced loudly. She rushed back to the rack and pulled out a sapphire blue clutch. "Here, this matches the dress. I've packed all your essentials in them."

I took the clutch from her and turned to face all of them. "Thank you, thank you all so much!"

"Go now, Mr. Barns arranged for a private car to take you to where you need to go!" Maria said. "We'll clean up and lock up. Leave the key, we'll leave it at the front desk!"

I left my room key on the counter and rushed to the door, but before leaving I turned to face them all once more, they all stood there with happy satisfied looks on their faces. "Thank you again!"

As I left the room, Sammy yelled. "Hurry, and take lots of pictures, and lots of pictures of yourself!"

"I will!" I yelled and rushed out of the B&B. Outside waiting beside the curb was a Black SUV; the driver wore a black suit and rushed out upon seeing me. As I reached the car, the driver opened the back door.

"Hello, Ms. Gellys?" he asked.

"Yes that's me!" I replied happily. _Wow, this is all for me? Xander, you panty loving bastard, you shouldn't have._

"My name is Daniels and I'll be driving you to your destination today." Daniels explained as I got into the car.

"Thank you." I told him and he shut the door.

Wow!

"Where to, Ms. Gellys?" Daniels asked, putting on his seatbelt.

"The Pacific Banquet Hall, do you know it?"

Daniels nodded. "Yes I do. It's going to take twenty-five minutes to get there. Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's okay." I told him and leaned back into my seat. Twenty-five minutes. That's how long I had until I saw my family and Ben for the first time in months. I wondered what they'd think, of me showing up... looking like this?

_Hopefully they'll be shocked_. I grinned as Daniels pulled away from the curb.

This is it.

Get ready, Marisa!

TO BE CONTINUED....

*~*~*

Thank you so much for reading Book 1 of the Xander Barns Series

The next book in the Xander Barns Series is called... WANTED ALWAYS (XANDER BARNS SERIES BOOK 2)

I never said I was perfect.....but damn it, I really did it this time! I fell for his ways again!

And the award for dumbest girl in the world goes to.....ME!

Again!

Twenty two year old Marisa Gellys thought the weekend of her father's 50th birthday party was going to be quick and easy.

She couldn't have been more wrong.

All thanks to a certain blue-eyed gorgeous...menace, also known as Xander Barns.

Her dad's birthday would have to take a back seat, because Xander Barns has his own plans for this weekend and whether Marisa wants to or not, she's about to become a huge part of it.

Because Xander Barns always gets what he wants.

Check out the preview for Book 2 in the next page now!

Wanted Always

Preview

MARISA

Saturday, April 20

While the sun set, Daniels drove through a picturesque, suburban, upper-middle class neighbourhood. The vibe was nice, and for the first time since waking up, I felt calm. But then my body began to shake, and well.... I wasn't surprised.

So... here goes nothing.

Have you ever made a mistake?

Have you ever acted stupidly because it was just easier?

If you're saying no right now – you're a liar.

Nobody's perfect.

I wasn't.

I've done a lot of dumb shit in my life, but allowing someone like Xander Barns into my life took the cake.

The beautiful dress and the makeover had blurred my vision, when in fact; I should have stayed mad at him. But I'd fallen for his ways again.

Now, my chest was hurting just thinking about it.

In a way, I was lucky.

I could have been kidnapped.

I could have been taken to a remote location where only he had access.

I could have been chopped up into a million different pieces.

I could have been killed.

And no one would have known.... holy crap.

I was so freaking lucky.... well, besides the almost-getting-cut-into-pieces issue, and Xander turning from suave ice-cream customer to panty-loving douchebag. At least now, I've realized something substantial to my wellbeing... Xander Barns was not, and never would be.... a hero.

He wasn't a knight with a horse coming to save innocents in despair.

He was a kinky rich boy, who had a cellphone with unlimited capabilities, and a gigantic bank account. He was the apple from the Garden of Eden, beautiful to look at; smooth to touch, but once you took a bite, that's when the truth came out. It wasn't a sweet piece of fruit; it was the key that opened chaos and horror. He was Pandora's box. It's as if he was made to make trouble, hiding behind a beautiful model face and godly body.

The blame fell on my shoulders. I was too farsighted, too oblivious with my 'problems' to see him for who he really was.... a giant pain in my ass. My ability to judge needed an intervention, a tutor, a coach, something or someone to teach it, you never ever let a man you didn't know into your room. Because that kinky fuck could have gagged me, shot me, cut me, raped me... and then killed me. And no one would have known. The only person I've been conversing with since I'd left Ottawa was Darcy, and that was through email.

I really was lucky.... sort of.

Well, not really when you think about it. I did wake up hung over, wearing bitch blonde's skanky, cream-coloured lace thong. _Why do I have the feeling that was_ _Xander's version of a thank you?_

No matter how much I pushed it to the back of my head; I still felt those creepy, crawly tingles. Despite cleansing myself down there, I knew that skank's juice wouldn't go without a fight. I was no lab tech and no matter how much I tried to clean myself, there were for sure one or two specks of her DNA still left on my skin, waiting for the perfect moment to regenerate, just like bacteria. So, in the interest of not wanting bacteria expanding in huge numbers, I spread my thighs further apart, hopefully without making it obvious to Daniels while he drove.

A little fresh air will do my vajeene some good.

As my downstairs "subtly" cooled, I gazed out the window, examining the picture-perfect houses again. My heart felt a hard tug as we passed each house. They all, in their own way, looked like the house I'd grown up in. Life was definitely passing by fast, and whether I wanted to or not, I was growing up. And it was time to put my big-girl panties on before it was too late, and/or before Xander decided he wanted those, too.

I mean... serious shit could have happened. I had to understand this, absorb it, and permanently keep it on my mind for all the other "next times" that would be coming my way. Because surely, knowing who I was, there were bound to be many more "next times" when my intelligence would be put to the test.... yet again.

_Xander Barns is not a hero._ Learn it. Remember it. Live it.

I glanced out the window as Daniels drove through a very familiar neighbourhood at a reasonable twenty-five km an hour.

Thinking again, I questioned a few more things that left me wary. Like... accepting gifts from people you barely knew. Was that really okay? A smart person would have probably said no.

But all this shit was his fault to begin with. He's the one who'd wanted me to wear my party clothes last night. My clothes for tonight would have been fine if I'd worn my train outfit to the club instead.

So you see, it was all Xander's fault.

He owed me, and it had made logical sense to accept his "generosity".

And it's not like I could show up tonight wearing my train clothes.... so it was what it was. I'd made the best of the situation, and simply... went with it?

Makes enough sense to me.

Yesterday afternoon before finding out his little secret, it was like a scene from a dirty sexy novel. Which was very unlike me to even entertain that random sexy shit. I wasn't that girl, and that's not because I didn't have urges like any other hot-blooded female, and yeah... I had fantasies too, but that's where that shit ended. The reality of the situation was, there was only one thing on my mind when it came to complete strangers jumping each other like random rabbits, and that was a mountain of STDs.

What the fuck was wrong with Xander?

What'd possessed him to traumatize me – a complete stranger – like that yesterday?

If that nasty fuck had just acted like a gentleman yesterday, then this whole thing wouldn't have happened. I would have been chill right now, and not overthinking everything.

And while we were at it, I'd be shocked, extremely shocked, if he was disease free, too. He liked wearing women's underwear – and my instincts were telling me, he liked them pre-loved. Which was nasty as fuck, because if that wasn't an invitation for a puss filled pimple infestation, I didn't know what was.

Which reminded me... _Get high quality extra strength douche products soon._ My first stop tomorrow was the drug store. The possibility of getting a disease from sharing bitch blonde's thong was seriously depressing, and I wasn't leaving anything up to chance.

But whatever.

I'd worry about all that shit tomorrow.

Curiously, I opened the sapphire clutch to see what Maria had packed for me. My credit card, driver's license, and debit card were in the inserts, along with fifty dollars.

_Dad's gift!_ I worried for a second before I found the gift card hiding behind my credit card. A hundred and twenty five dollar gift card to a Canadian hardware superstore, called CT Mega Superstore. This was a gift I was a hundred percent sure my dad was going to enjoy; he loved that store. Growing up, he'd go there and spend hours wondering about, and then coming home with things that made my mom cringe. So, as you could see... there was no other option. I had to get him a gift card for that store.

I giggled, imagining my mom's stink face reaction.... _ahhh sigh... that's priceless._

But back to my clutch... Along with the bare essentials of my wallet, Maria had packed my phone as well. The screen blinked with a new message notification. Before taking it out to check the message, I saw a transparent makeup bag filled with a designer mini makeup kit.

Is this for emergencies?

I guess I'd be touching up, whether I had to or not. Sammy would probably die of shock if I didn't apply an extra coat of everything at least once tonight. I took out my phone and closed my clutch, placing it at my side on the seat.

Xander had sent me a text.

What the hell does he want?

**Xander:** By the way, you're welcome. Didn't I tell you it was all an easy fix? I dare you to doubt me again. I request the pleasure of your company, after your father's party is over, of course.

Kiss – Kiss

**Marisa:** By the way, thank you... even though YOU threw my clothes OUT!!!!!! But nevertheless, thank you, and yes, I will never doubt you again. But then again, I probably won't go out with your rich ass ever again. You're too much trouble. As for your request... what the hell do you want my company for? I'm boring; I thought we clarified this in one of our earlier session's, doctor.

Punch – Punch

**Xander:** Marisa, you've got the stop selling yourself short. You're not boring, far from it, actually. As for your comment about me being trouble... if you continue to speak to me like that in your next text, I'm going to have to change my pants. As for you meeting me after your father's party, it's a requirement since you've got something I want. I've been dreaming all day, baby. So be a nice kitty, and don't make me wait too long, okay?

Kiss Hug Kiss Hug

**Marisa:** What the fuck do you want from me?

**Xander:** You know what I want...

_OMG!_ My eyes bulged in horror, that fucker wanted my underwear!

And I didn't care how small his ass was; there's no way this thong was going to glide smoothly up his man ass; it just wouldn't be right.

**Marisa:** You disgusting pervert!

**Xander:** Now Marisa.... is that anyway to speak to your benefactor?

**Marisa:** Benefactor? I'll punch you in the nuts!

**Xander:** I'm a nice boy. LOL.

**Marisa:** Bro, you need professional help. There's no way your man ass will fit smoothly inside a thong my size, at least not without ripping the material.

**Xander:** You're funny. But, I'm still waiting?

Nobody did anything for free, and even though he did throw my party clothes out, the amount of money he spent today on my makeover outweighed my reasons to scold, tenfold. I didn't like being in anyone's debt, so after the party, I would go to Xander's and throw the damn thong at his face, and then happily walk out bare if that meant we were even.

I texted back.

**Marisa:** Get your head examined, you sick fuck! Fine! How do I get to your place?

**Xander:** LOL! You're funny. Daniels will be waiting for you in the parking lot of the facility. Just tell him when you're ready. Can't wait to see you... all of you.

**Marisa:** The only thing you'll be seeing is the ceiling of an ambulance... do you get me now, asshole?

Later, douche!

**Xander:** Rock-hard status.

I shook my head, and a smile forced its way across my face. I guess I wasn't as offended as I thought I was. This was just who Xander was, a kinky, asshole, douchebag bastard.

On this thought, Daniels drove the car on to the highway.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" he asked while making the turn.

I breathed easy. "That would be great. Rock and Roll if available, please,"

"That's not a problem." Daniels turned the radio dial and settled on the local rock station. A familiar hard-rock tune played; my blood sizzled in inspiration as the lyrics and the beat of the music hit every inch of my body.

Yeah, that's better.

*~*~*

Here we fucking go...

When we entered the parking lot of the Pacific Banquet Hall, the entire place was packed. _Jesus, how many people did Mom invite?_ On our way to the front entrance, the number of cars Daniels drove by hypnotized me. Mom must have planned an all-out soiree with all the bells and whistles. I was under the impression that it would just be a regular little party.

I stared down at my— THANK GOD—fabulous dress, and a chill ran down my spine, thinking about what I'd originally planned on wearing. My outfit had been a nice shirt and nice jeans that had cost me a small fortune. But despite the cost, and them being from a nice store, these fake uppity assholes would have laughed at me, thinking how weird I was to show up looking like that. I'd never hear the end of it.

Another chill shot through me. My bitchy senses were telling me, this was exactly what my mom had wanted. She wanted people to see little ol' me, acting like the goofy good ol' slob that I was, and sympathize with her. She wanted them to give me looks of disapproval. She wanted the confirmation. That she wasn't a crazy, cruel and irrational witch after all, and the problem, as always was me.

Could anyone really blame me for thinking this?

I mean... just look at all the fucking evidence. She clearly told all her dear close friends about the dress code for this shindig, when all I got was a fucking E-invite a week ago with a time and a place. That's it. I was only her daughter, and it's _not_ like I could have used that bit of info, or anything.

The nerve...

I smoothed my dress gratefully for the one-hundredth time. Tonight wasn't going to turn out bad, because I was dressed to impress. My clothes were picked by a top stylist, my hair was done up by a hair whisperer, and my makeup had been applied by a master makeup artist.

Yeah, I was ready – ready to steamroll my way inside and give death glares to anyone who had the gall to address me in any other matter besides pure class.

I was ready.

So freaking ready.

Daniels pulled the car to the front entrance. I stared out, watching the party-guests walk in large groups on the sidewalk, all dressed to the nines, just like I was.

A cold shiver tickled my back again as I examined each of their glossy, primed to a T outfits. The prospect of actually showing up to the party in my original outfit was really fucking with me now.

Like real bad.

But I had to get over that shit.

I was fancy right now.

I was a fucking lady right now.

I looked like someone who would have no problem fitting in, maybe even get a compliment or two, maybe even gawked at in pure jealously. _Thank you, Xander.... But you're still a nasty fuck who needs to be stabbed with a sharp heel._

I grabbed the door handle, and as I turned to say goodbye to Daniels, from the corner of my eye, I noticed something that caused my body to instantly freeze.

_Ben!_ I instantly let go of the door handle and lowered my body below the window.

Daniels cleared his throat quietly. "The windows are tinted, Miss Gellys."

_Thank God for tinted windows!_

I blew out a sigh of relief as I spied the family of five climb up the stairs. The women, his mom and little sister's dresses, were flowing beautifully against the evening wind. The men, his dad and little brother, all decked out in black and navy suits. Ben, however...I couldn't really see what he was wearing; he was too far up the stairs.

So they showed up!

So... mother dearest had the nerve to invite the cheater and his family, but that shouldn't have surprised me, because A: Mom was a traitor who cared more about her bitchy best friend than her daughter, and B: it was all my fault anyway, so why should everyone have to suffer when I was to blame, anyway.

_Calm down!_ I loosened my steel grip on the door handle, forgetting how it got there in the first place. I must have gone somewhere dark; I still felt my blood move in waves, rivalling the rivers of Colorado.

"Is everything alright, Miss Gellys?"

I let go of the door handle and faced Daniels slowly. "I'm fine, well, as fine as I can be. But if you don't mind, Daniels, I think... I'm just going to wait for everyone to enter the building first."

"Not a problem, Miss Gellys. Would you like me to move the car further down?"

I nodded. "Yeah, let's drive down the parking lot. Staying here isn't a good idea,"

Daniels drove the car further down, out of the suspicious eyes of party guests; I could still see who was coming, though. My mom had invited everyone. But then again, she had invited me, so why wouldn't she invite everyone else, too.

Shit was getting too real now. I was back in the vicinity of my family and ex-love for a grand total of five minutes, and I was already losing it. I needed to chill.

My mind wandered back all those months ago, to the last time I spoke and saw Ben.

The night we had broken up. _It was the end of November and a sad love song played on the radio._ _My heart was racing while I drove over to a local park. It was hard to breathe, so I took deep breaths to calm down and parked my car. I spotted Ben right away in the center of the park, sitting on a picnic bench. He looked like any other pedestrian, chilling without a hint of pent up anger. If only he'd actually be chill right now. But I knew better. Though, the sight of him had my stomach churning. I felt so sick, but I needed to calm down. The flutters in my stomach weren't helping either._

Ugh, why'd he have to look so cute right now, too? He wasn't even dressed to impress. He was wearing his university sweater and basketball shorts.

I hated that my stomach was fluttering over the sight of him, looking all regular.

I wish I could just turn my feelings off right now.

Enough! It's show time.

I got out of the car and crossed the grass toward him. The sound of my walking over gave my presence away. Ben turned his head, spotted me, and flipped off his hood. The chill guy was gone. "Wow.... I can't believe it. You actually showed up. You're a real funny person, Marisa."

How dare he act like the victim!

I took a deep breath before letting it rip. "I said I'd come. But let me make something perfectly clear, you don't deserve shit from. In fact, you should thank me right now. I've been far too generous, giving you time you don't even deserve."

Angry, Ben got off the picnic bench and marched over. He stopped in front of me, towering over with his six-foot-one frame. "What the hell are you talking about? You've been ignoring me for weeks. Weeks!"

My jaw dropped. "Why the hell would I want to speak with you, let alone... hear your sad excuse? You were plastering your lips against that... ugly ass skank. Her lips were diseased. I'd bet my life on it."

His eyes widened, as if my words had made no sense. "You're crazy."

But I was nowhere near done; in fact I was just getting started.

Temper cannon number three: Ready to go: Ignite.

I laughed out bitterly. "Did you go see a doctor? No? Well, you should. In fact, I think I see a few red spots around your lips. I think they might be infectious."

"Shut up, Marisa. You're not funny at all!" he snapped back, jerking his jaw from left to right.

Mission fucking accomplished.

"I'm hilarious. I tell it like it is. The reality of the situation is as clear as daylight. No amount of explanation from you will change that. You're not fooling anyone, Ben. I saw what you did with my own two eyes!" I knew my face was red, even though I was trying to play it cool – like I didn't care. I fucking did though – so much so, I was about to burst into tears. One wrong word and I was done for.

"I was drunk out of my mind!"

"Oh – so that's the excuse you're going to keep rolling with? That you were drunk!"

"Yes, it's the fucking truth! I drank like crazy that night. I was all alone – at a party – for the thousandth time, while you were working!"

My jaw dropped. He couldn't be serious right now. "I can't believe you!"

Ben glared at me, perfecting the award winning victim persona to a T. "Well, I can't believe you. You're always late for everything, and expect people to always wait for you. The worst part is, you're fucking twenty-two, and you still work at an ice cream store. All our friends have graduated from university. They're moving on with their lives and getting real jobs. You're not even.... embarrassed."

He was taking things way too far. "There is nothing wrong with my job! I love my job. At least I have a job; you still get money from your mommy and daddy!"

This really pissed him off. He got in my face. "I have a university degree," He pointed to himself. "And I'm trying to start a business! What the fuck are you doing with your life? Nothing! All you're good at doing is acting like a pathetic waste of space!"

Wow.

Spiteful low-blow number two or two thousand?

I wasn't sure at this point. I'd lost count.

"Well then... I guess it was fate," I sighed. "I'm such a waste of space, and you're the one going places with your university degree and business plans. You're doing yourself a disservice by being with a pathetic time-waster like myself."

I tucked my hands into my hoodie's pockets and looked at the ground; this was going to be hard for me to do – officially do. But after what he did, after what he said to me, called me, I had no choice.

I exhaled and continued. "I wish you the very best of luck in life..."

Ben huffed out a loud breath, but I kept going. "I hope everything works out the way you want it to, and I hope you find someone that's at the level you think you're on."

I didn't look up. I couldn't, because if I did, then it was game over.

"What the hell are you mumbling about?" Ben huffed. He was trying to play stupid, pretending he didn't actually hear me break up with him.

I did.

"You heard me – loud and clear. It's over." I turned quickly and rushed toward my car.

"What?" Ben screeched. "Where do you think you're going? We're not done here!"

_I heard his frantic footsteps trying to catch up, which he did in no time as_ _he used to be on the track team in high school, winning sprints easily._

"Stop making this all about you!" he yelled from behind me all of a sudden.

"Go away!" I yelled, still running.

"You're making a fool of yourself!" he yelled right at my tail.

Arriving in front of the driver's door, I finally faced him and he had this disgusted look on his face. He just kept shaking his head.

"Go away, Ben. Don't come anywhere near me." I ordered, but he wasn't listening. "It's over. You don't need to worry about me or what I'm doing, not that you did that before anyway."

The memory faded.

I shook my head, trying to disregard the third worst day of my life and how brutal it had been. But I had other things to worry about right now, like going to this party and surviving it with my head held high. It was time to face reality. I checked the time on my phone; it was almost 7:20 p.m. I checked the parking lot; it was void of people now.

"I think that's it for guests, Daniels," I declared, feeling relieved.

"I agree, Miss Gellys,"

"Okay, I'm going to go in now." I reached for the door handle for the millionth time, and this time I pulled it, opened the door and took a step out. I faced Daniels. "Wish me luck?"

"Good luck. I'll be waiting in the parking lot for when you're ready to leave."

I nodded. "Okay, see you in a little bit."

I got out of the car, instantly smoothing out my dress, and then examining it for any wrinkles. Thank God, there were none. I shut the door behind me and made my way to the front entrance. _Here goes nothing._

The Pacific Banquet Hall looked like it sounded.

Every neighbourhood had a centre like this, a place where locals could gather and pretend they were rich enough to rent a room for the evening.

It was what it was, and I couldn't wait to get this night over with. There were too many bad vibes associated with this place, this neighbourhood.... this town.

Anyways, the entrance was a bitch to push though, but I managed, even though... it was bullshit. Who even designed those doors? Were they trying to make it difficult on purpose? It took both arms and I prayed to god the sweat fairy wasn't about to show up and hit me with a bucket of water. The last thing I needed was to enter the banquet hall looking like a dripping mess in front of Mom's uppity crowd. Cold air hits me as soon as I entered and it's a blessing and a curse. Potential sweat issues were out the door, but the air conditioning was on full blast, flowing freely though my fab dress and another _area_ , thus... bringing me back to _that_ fucked up mental state.

_You're clean; you've cleaned yourself thoroughly!_ I reminded myself for the millionth time. For fuck's sake, why couldn't I move passed this?

_Maybe it's because you woke up, wearing some random skank's underwear!_ I took deep breaths, stalling in the empty lobby – which I thanked God for – because all the better to get my shit together, and I needed to be quick about it. The staff weren't around to see me right now. I was an open book when it came to showcasing momentary reactions. It would have been pure comedy for them right now. Mom was probably keeping them all busy with her party. God knew that woman was a slave driver when she wanted to be, especially when it came to parties.

She liked to do them all flash and cash, show the _people_ how it was done. I was the only thing she'd usually blame when things weren't going to plan, or if she had a weird feeling her guests weren't as impressed as they should have been. Something must have gone wrong, or rather, someone was ruining the façade she was trying to create.

Like... little old me?

So I didn't act it up like she did. That did not mean I ruined the atmosphere of her parties. In my opinion, I was a welcoming host who tried her very best to make sure things ran smoothly.

" _Why do you insist on embarrassing your father and I, Marisa? Honestly! Purple and brown?"_ I remembered a memorable quote from last year during a little party she was having at the house. I decided to wear a purple sweater, and dark-brown slacks I'd cuffed at the bottom because they had been too long. I'd gotten them on sale, and sometimes you just had to make things work when you bought them on sale. Choices were limited, especially on budget.

And it's not like they'd paid for any of my clothes anyways. When I lived with them, I paid for all my shit. I may not have graduated from university like Ben had, but unlike him, I didn't mooch off my parents for everything under the sun. I'd mooched for absolutely nothing.

But my mom didn't think this was an accomplishment, instead, applauding Ben's goal of obtaining a university degree and making a life for himself, the right way, the respectful way. And if that took a little extra time at home then so be it, it would all be worth it in the end.

Once again, whatever I was doing, didn't count for shit.

I was and probably still seemed like a failure to the family, to the family friends and most of all... probably to Ben.

_Jesus!_ I frowned at my reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall in the sitting area. I hadn't even made it passed the front lobby and I was already bringing myself down.

This was going well.... NOT.

I glanced down at the white tiled floor, feeling chest pains... but then.... _Ooh, pretty shoes!_ A wide smile instantly turned my frown upside–down. I felt light and bubbly, warm all of a sudden.

My beautiful silver heels did that; they totally did that. I guessed the myths about good shoes really were true; they did make you feel amazing.

_No more – you understand – no more! Remember, you're not a loser – and you've got really nice shoes on, and damn it girl, you better work them!_ I took a deep breath, looked back at the mirror and gave myself a nod. It was time to get this thing started. Time to walk in, and for jaws to drop.

That's right, move over, bitches; Marisa's coming in!

Now, which room were they in?

I walked down the hallway to one of three party rooms. Apparently, at this facility, they could either host one huge wedding, or two medium average-sized parties that would use up two party rooms, but nothing more than that because they only had about a hundred parking spaces. I walked by a pair of double doors; no noise was coming from inside, which was odd because the parking outside was supposed to be enough for two parties booked at a time.

So how many people did Mom actually invite to this thing? Because the last time I had checked, that parking lot was jammed packed.

Way more than a hundred people, that is for sure.

The next party room was further down the hall, and from my field of vision, I could see people hanging out front, and the closer I got, the louder the music became.

_Here it comes. Here it comes._ I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach; the nerves were really kicking in now that I was getting closer to this moment, five months in the making.

As I got closer to the double doors, a few kids ran out and began playing tag.

_That used to be me..._ _sigh_ _._

The kids ran by me down the hall, screaming and shouting at the top of their lungs, announcing to the entire facility how much fun they were having. As I caught each of their faces, I didn't recognize them to be able to locate their parents in case they went looking for them; I'd happily point which way the kids went running, in case any of the parents lost sight of them. Although, knowing the type of people Mom associated with, I'd probably be blamed for their disappearance.

Keep mouth shut...avoid blame...avoid it like the plague.

I grabbed the door handle, twisted it and opened the door. Loud music instantly surrounded me. I caught a glance of the room, and just like Kyle's Halloween party, this party was packed to the rafters.

Wow! How many people did Mom actually invite? Definitely over a hundred people, that's for sure!

The room's lights were dimmed low as fun party lights moved across the room. I entered the room, oblivious to any of the other partygoers; they were all busy getting down with the music, probably already on their third drink from the open bar. Mom always had an open bar. Not having an open bar was tacky, and honestly, what's the point of having a party if you couldn't provide alcohol freely to your guests?

I kind of agreed with her on that...for once.

I know; it's shocking.

_This is perfect. I don't stick out like a sore thumb; everyone's too drunk to notice me!_ I thought with glee, my eyes circling the room, checking out the decorations Mom carefully incorporated. The theme was gold and blue. A giant banner with 'Happy 50th Birthday' hung over the DJ booth by the dance floor. There were fake flowers painted gold and blue everywhere. _How predictable._ Even by the entrance there was a small crystal bowl filled with blue and gold mints. My stomach grumbled just as a waitress came by with a tray of fried shrimp. I touched my belly, trying to remember what I'd eaten last.

Last night – My mind regurgitated a moment lost in the fog. Spots of images resurfaced in one swift motion... I saw myself stumbling next to a well-mannered Xander down a hallway on our way out of LETHE... _"I um veryyyy ungry, I ungry, Xander," I wiped sweaty hair off my face, blinking twenty times and trying to clear my eyes of the lasers and smoke from inside LETHE that had followed me out. Xander's hand was on my arm, leading me to a door._

"Where we...uh...goin'?" I asked, trying to keep up with him. His sunglasses were still on, but I could see his scowl.

"What's your problammm?" I slurred.

Xander stopped us right in front of the door and faced me. "There's nothing wrong. I'm just concerned."

I hiccupped. "Concerned 'bout what?"

He stood closer and caressed the side of my face. "Darling, you haven't eaten since, since I don't even know. Even on the train you didn't eat anything, and tonight you've been drinking on an empty stomach. That's why I'm concerned."

Xander touchin' me funny again...I smiled lazily at him and bent my face into his palms.

"I'm a hungry, hungry, Xander, need food, need food now," I muttered before breaking into a fit of giggles.

"You're hungry. Well don't you worry, because Uncle Xander is going to feed you," Xander soothed teasingly.

Uncle?

"You're not mah uncle, you're too younguh!" I closed my eyes for a second. "How old you, Xander, I'm a big girl. I'm twenty-two?"

"I'm a big boy, too. I'm twenty-nine," Xander chuckled softly before sighing deeply. Then his phone beeped. "Come on, big girl, our ride's here."

He put his palm down and I fell down with it, but he caught me midway to the ground.

Saved me again...so sweet...so, so sweet. He grabbed my arm and opened the door, letting in a cold breeze that my body gratefully relished.

"Ahhhhh, some fresh air will do you some good!" Xander guided me outside to a taxi running idle in the alleyway. He placed me inside the car and crawled in after.

" _Let's get you some food, shall we?" he smiled sweetly, and then turned to the driver..._ The smell of fried shrimp snapped me back to reality. "Would you like one?" the waitress asked with a welcoming smile. I gulped, eyeing her tray.

Beauty in the form of fried perfection glimmered under multi-coloured party lights panning the room. They shined like magic and my stomach groaned in pain, pleading for me to accept. I gulped again, because being hungry was an understatement, and I wanted to take one.... hell, I wanted to take ALL OF THEM. But I needed to find my family first, and I didn't want the first words spoken between us in over five months to be with shrimp-breath – unless it was spicy shrimp, then HELL YES.

I'm hilarious.

I shook my head. "No, thanks."

The waitress smiled and moved on to the next person who grabbed three. _Savage!_

I grabbed two mints instead, one gold and one blue, popping the gold one into my mouth. At least now my mouth would be minty fresh when conversing with the people here. Total class play and... so considerate of me for thinking of other people, too. I tucked the blue one into my clutch for later and trudged through the crowd in search for the twins or Dad. I walked by groups of people I recognized as my parents' work friends, well my dad's work friends. My mom did not work, unless you counted spending money at the mall and lunching with her bitchy friends as "working".

I said a quick hello and moved along to the next group, and that's where I found Dad, walking away from the bar with a drink in hand.

"Dad!" I yelled over the music, halting him for a few seconds before turning and making eye contact with me.

"Marisa!" he exclaimed. He placed his drink down and came to me with open arms. "Marisa, I can't believe it. You're here, in the flesh!"

I walked into his open arms and hugged him. Dad's cologne instantly calmed me, like I could breathe again. Weird, but understandable – he was the chill parent.

I stepped out of his embrace. "I told Darcy I was coming. Didn't she tell you?"

Dad nodded. "She did, right away. But we didn't believe it, considering how things have been going on lately. I'm so happy you came."

"I'm happy that you're happy, Dad. There's no way I'd miss your party. By the way, Happy Birthday, the big FIVE – OH, fifty years old, getting old, old man." I joked.

"Hey!" Dad protested, faking his pain with a giant grin. "Your old man has still got some years in him. I'm not _that_ _old_ , I'm just not that young anymore."

I laughed at his mannerism, loving his happy mood.

Dad took a moment and eyed my hair, my makeup, my dress, and my shoes. He seemed bewildered at my transformation. "I've never seen you look this nice before, not even for prom. I'm touched. Did you do this for me?"

I smiled bashfully, a little embarrassed, because he was right, I didn't do things like this. I sighed. "I wanted to look nice for your birthday."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me in disbelief. "Are you sure about that? Is it really for me, or is it for a certain someone that you haven't seen, or talked to in over five months?"

Ben?

He thought I did this for Ben?

I didn't do any of this for Ben, because it was never the plan.

Xander's team did this for me as compensation.

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't do this for Ben. He doesn't deserve the effort, and as we all know, I don't do things like this for just anyone or anything."

"That's true. But your mom will be disappointed. She's been in constant denial about your relationship, saying you guys just hit a rough patch and needed some time apart before getting back together."

Dad seemed exhausted suddenly. Having to deal with that woman solo would make anyone tired. I felt kind of guilty leaving him alone to go against her temper-cannons, but then again when I lived with them it's not like he was there every second to ward her off when she went crazy on me.

It was Dad's turn.... unfortunately. And anyways, he's the one who married her. She was his problem for life, not mine.

"She knows it's over between us." I sighed, shaking my head in disbelief.

Dad chuckled. "I know that, but she still hopes. I think she just wants the wedding. She and Gwen want to plan one so badly."

At least his festive party spirit was back.

And why couldn't he be like this all the time? I wish it were always like this between us. There was no way Dad would talk like this in front of Mom.

I heard heels clack against the floor behind me.

Uh oh... speaking of the devil.

Attention on deck, attention on deck!

Brain, Heart, Spine, this is a code red: Man your stations with extreme prejudice!

I closed my eyes for a second, imagining puppies and rainbows and the calming serenity of ocean blue....

"Ah-hum."

I opened my eyes slowly and my mom came in full view, walking around me. She took her spot next to my dad and crossed her arms over her chest. She wore a dark lilac, one-shoulder shift dress – knee length, showcasing her gym-sculpted legs. She was shorter than I was, but her five-inch heels brought her height up. Normally, that would have brought her over me, but tonight, my feet were in high heels too. Mom scanned me up and down, her eyes doing nothing to hide the shock that her daughter actually showed up looking beyond polished. Maybe even more polished than the majority of the guests.

I wasn't going to say hello first.

"Hello, Marisa." Mom said calmly and without traces of venom, surprisingly. Well actually, not surprising. We _were_ at a party. She wasn't going to go crazy and show her true colours, not in front of her beloved friends, and the kids of those friends of whom she apparently favoured over her own flesh and blood.

_AKA... Moi_.

"Hello, Mom," I replied, mimicking her calm façade.

"I'm surprised you actually showed up. You were gone for so long. I'm so – so surprised. You actually look... nice." Mom assessed, scanning my look again. "Who knew you had it in you."

And so it begins....

"It's not a big deal. It's just a dress and some shoes." I responded nonchalantly. I peeked through the corner of my eye, and Dad kept sipping his drink, a bit on edge if you asked me.

"Marisa, I thought that was you!" Gwen, Mom's best, best, best friend rejoiced, gliding toward us in her flowy, peach–coloured, spaghetti-strapped cocktail dress.

"In the flesh," I said as she joined Mom's hip. Mom smiled at her best friend before looking back at me... not smiling. _AKA... forced tolerance. Congratulations, Marisa. You've done it again. Mommy is annoyed in record speed._

"So Marisa, we haven't seen you for a long time. What have you been up to? Where have you been?" Gwen asked.

"Oh, I've been around the neighbourhood, here and there. You know, nothing really that special going on," I replied nonchalantly.

Mom glanced back and forth between Gwen and myself, looking confused as to what was going on. For one, why were we even having this conversation? Why in the hell was Gwen bothering to talk to me?

I mean... didn't I break up with her shining-star, prince of a son?

Shouldn't I have been hated on.... yelled at.... told how it _really was..._ that I was so lucky.... and that I didn't deserve the five years I ruthlessly stole from her precious _pookie bear_. And if that ever came up, I would tell her exactly why her special little man stayed with me for so long. The _extra_ little bit that he could never deny.

I HAD GREAT LIPS.

"You don't work at the ice cream store anymore, do you?" Gwen asked.

"No, I quit five months ago." I answered.

Question number two from Gwen: "So where do you work now?"

"At a place near my house." I answered while using every ounce of control not to laugh. They were getting no info from me.

But clearly my tactics were transparent, and as Gwen faced Mom, I knew her tactics were changing. "Libby, you must love all the extra room you've got now, don't you?"

Mean bitches.

And like a good little puppy, my mom nodded. "Yes, it was dreadful before. The basement was too cramped, especially since the twins wanted a few game tables. So we just cleared some things and put them in Marisa's old room."

"That's great, good use of space." I added, pretending to agree. I knew what they were trying to do, and it wasn't going to work.

Dad cleared his throat. "Ladies, I'm off. Back to the guys."

"Of course, darling, go enjoy yourself." Mom gushed, way out of her normal character, putting on a front for her dearest friend, pulling a stupid façade that screamed.... " _I take care of my husband, and I don't belittle him when it comes to our children. And no, he doesn't act like a bitch when it's just us, because after all, he's the man of the house, and has the balls in our family."_

Dad faced me before returning to his rowdy friends. "Marisa, we'll have a talk later, okay?"

"Alright. Don't worry. I'm not going to run anywhere anytime soon." I told him, totally ignoring the other two.

He nodded, and I chuckled as he quickly headed back to the open bar to get a new drink. He should have some fun; this was his party. He should be having lots and lots of fun.

The spot I was in was the no-fun zone. Even at a party where it's a requirement to be constantly laughing and soaking in good vibes, I was stuck in a horribly hidden interrogation with the terrible twosome. _AKA: The Piranha Squad._

I reluctantly returned my gaze back to the discerning eyes of my inquisitors to find Gwen eyeballing my entire body a bit too long and a bit too obviously. When her eyes finally settled back on to my face, she seemed confused. I could tell by the way her eyes narrowed, she was unconvinced for some reason.

Like there had to be a reason as to why I looked nice, for once.

"That is a lovely dress, Marisa. And the shoes are spectacular!" Gwen gushed, her eyes widening in mock excitement.... _'Cause the bitch was fake!_

Gwen turned to Mom. "Libby, you must have bought them for her to wear, this has your taste written all over it!"

And there's the total switch shift. It's so amazing, that _Marisa_ couldn't have possibly been responsible for putting this ensemble together. It must have been someone who knew what they were doing – which wasn't untrue – but still – I was offended to say the LEAST.

I cut in before Mom could answer...or lie. "Actually, no. I bought them."

Gwen's eyebrows rose again. "Wow, I guess wherever you work now must pay you well. A big difference from before, right?" She began to giggle knowingly. More stupidly, if you asked me.

Mom's eyebrows rose, but I think it was meant for me, even though her friend was acting like me wearing nice clothing was such a novelty, that there must be something more to the story.

The disbelief made my eye twitch... filling me with the courage to give them the low down, the dirty, the dish.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, I'm not being completely honest with you guys about the dress and the shoes. I didn't buy them."

Mom looked slightly confused. On the other hand, Gwen's expression quickly morphed from confused to pure delight. Discreetly, of course, but I could see joy twinkle in her clear, aqua blue eyes. Gwen nodded in slow motion, as if it all made sense now in her 'ah-ha' moment.

Or would it?

I was about to spread that magic juice.... I grinned and let the chaos break free like a giant stinky fart. "Yeah, MY PIMP actually bought it for me yesterday. I was a good girl this week, if you know what I mean."

"Marisa!" Mom hissed.... sounding not so happy.

I was just trying to be honest.

I thought that's what they wanted.

Jeez, you can't please anyone these days, not even with the truth.

I sighed. "Yeah, he just dropped me off out front twenty minutes ago__"

"Marisa!" Mom hissed again.

I supressed my glorious grin as the show still must go on. "Maybe I can introduce you guys when he picks me up later. I've got a late evening appointment I've got to get to after the party, and with the new service I offer, customers have been calling nonstop_"

"Marisa!" Mom growled, her eyes throwing daggers, while her hands clamped into tight, boney fists.

Mission accomplished.

They wanted a piece of me? Well, how about _now_.

How about now, bitches!

Boom! Boom! Boom!

Annihilated.

Game, set, and match!

Winner: Marisa "No Fucks Given" Gellys!

A few chuckles spilled out, no matter how hard I tried to contain them, but this was too funny. I took another glance at the room while Mom struggled to backtrack from a potential meltdown. As for Gwen, she remained silent, perhaps in shock. I spotted Darcy sitting at a table in the back with the rest of the young people.

"Oh, is that where I'll be sitting?" I pointed to Darcy's table in mock interest.

"I cannot believe __" Mom screeched.

"I think I'll go say hello, but we must have another chat later. This one was just too much fun. Alright, see you guys later." I wiggled my fingers at the both of them, and made my way to my thirteen-year-old sister, who was busy playing with her cellphone.

"Libby, she was just joking," I heard Gwen tell my mom; probably trying to console her quickly before she completely lost it.

"I cannot believe her, at her father's birthday party!" Mom hissed uncontrollably, probably loving the attention Gwen was giving her.

Aw, shucks, I did it again. I'd made my precious mother, who worked so hard to put this party together, upset. I was just so mean, just so inconsiderate of her feelings. When was I going to grow up and finally treat her with the respect she deserved?

Maybe when everyone here got PINK EYE, but until then.... It would be a very long fucking time before I treated her with any respect. But, let me just say this – if she wasn't my mom, I'd call her an evil cunt with a best friend to match.

Hash-tag, Lizard Queens!

"Hey Darcy!" I sang.

Darcy's head jerked up in surprise, her brown eyes quickly finding mine as she grinned in surprise.

She shot out of her seat and gave me a huge hug. "Marisa, you actually came!"

I missed you...

I took the empty seat next to her and hugged her again. "As I said I would, little sister. Where's Cam?" I took a quick look around to see if I could spot him.

"He went with Johnny to get a soda," Darcy explained, putting her phone down on the table. Johnny was Ben's fourteen-year-old brother. I gazed over at the girl sitting next to Darcy, Jennifer, Ben's twelve-year-old little sister.

Oh, those two women, they just loved having the same amount of kids, didn't they? Coordinating amounts by gender, perhaps we were matched at birth, a huge three-way wedding. As for their dreams, they'd been talking about it since first meeting a million years ago in the late eighteen hundreds.

Mom and Gwen had a plan.

And I ruined it.

*~*~*

Thank you so much for reading the preview for Book 2 in the Xander Barns Series!

The next books in the Xander Barns Series are....

Wanted Always

(Xander Barns Series Book 2)

Calling Forever

(Xander Barns Series Book 3)

Check out my pages online for more information about all my upcoming books!

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