Let's welcome on stage: Mr. Ashish Dash.
Hey! Say cheese!
No. I don't want my voice in the picture.
Hi!
So my sister found out that my mom is a lesbian.
I wonder, how?
I hate it when my father asks me to get married.
Because
I don't want to marry him.
When I was about five, six years old, 
I used to stay near the beach.
Not only I, my whole family.
We used to stay near the beach.
The view of the sunset from the terrace of my house, 
it was amazing.
So every day after school, 
I used to go up to my terrace
and I used to stand in one corner of my terrace,
near the edge,
and I'd try to enjoy the sunset.
And sometimes, you know, sometimes
my mom would come,
and she would stand right behind me,
and she would put her hand on my shoulder,
like this.
And she would say,
"Jump".
My grandparents are alive.
And they are pretty much up to date.
They still make love.
Every night.
I caught them filming.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
They caught me.
Stop staring.
My grandfather said that to me 
when he caught me filming.
You know, my..
My dog sleeps 12 hours during the day
and 12 hours at night.
I call him, 'Dead'.
I love watching silent movies,
on mute.
Just so you know,
Rome wasn't built in a day.
It was built in a country.
Recently I went to an anti-drug campaign
and one guy there asked me,
"Which drug are you against?"
I said, "Crocin".
I did this dumbest thing once.
I asked a woman if I could give her a lift.
But I was walking.
She said yes.
So I lifted her
from her wheelchair
and I dropped her on the ground
because I wanted to.
My girlfriend likes my penis
more than hers.
I'm out of time so..
So without wasting any of my own time..
I'll do a couple of more jokes, okay?
I'm doing my jokes in my mind.
Man, did you get that?
No?
You're dumb.
That's my time guys.
Thank you very much.
