(suspenseful music)
- Yo, where these fools at, man?
- They'll be here.
- They don't show, re don't re-up.
We don't re-up, our whole
territory goes down the toilet.
That ain't happening.
Shut up, they'll be here.
(tires screeching)
Told you.
- Let's roll.
(car doors slam)
Sup?
- It's about damn time.
- Shut up and get your boss, flunky.
(sighs)
- Hector.
- Sweet Magdalena.
You always knew how to make an entrance.
And an exit.
- Yo, keep your distance.
- Watch your mouth, boy.
- And you still love to waste time.
- I'm sure it wasn't always wasted, right?
We had some moments, right?
What you got for me?
- Don't try to squeeze me, Hector.
First, I see the product.
(snaps fingers)
- Special delivery.
Pure, china, white.
- Check it.
- Sit. What you got for me?
- This oughta keep you flush.
- All right.
- Check it.
97% pure, uncut.
That's what I'm talking about.
I ain't felt nothing
this soft in a long time.
Two-ply.
- Let's go.
- Hey, sweetness.
Check that out.
First little taste is free.
Then I'ma need a little
something something.
Mmm hmmm.
(hip hop music)
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Somebody needed to say ♪
♪ Nobody would ♪
♪ So I guess I gotta be the one ♪
♪ G Webb, I'm back ♪
♪ COVID-19 ♪
♪ Remember, they asked for this ♪
♪ Let's give it to 'em again ♪
♪ The response ♪
♪ Here comes the crux and my caper ♪
♪ I'm on that quest to get
that super soft paper ♪
♪ Hit the stores, but the
shelves were like vapor ♪
♪ Yo, I bet it was my hoarding neighbor ♪
♪ Took it all ♪
♪ But I'ma get through this ♪
♪ Beat out the Joneses and
get my straight paper fix ♪
♪ Truthfully, I feel
like I'm losing my mind ♪
♪ Should of never let my
girl wipe my with supply ♪
♪ Really, I just don't understand ♪
♪ She uses half a roll in
just one trip to the can ♪
♪ Black market, bootleg ♪
♪ No price is too high ♪
♪ For Quilted Northern, Angel
Soft, for two-ply, man ♪
♪ I just need them rolls ♪
♪ 'cause chocolate milk got
my bowels ready to explode ♪
♪ TMI, no, but it's just the facts ♪
♪ It ain't a joke that I
need these rolls and stacks ♪
♪ Dropping deuces ♪
♪ Making stacks ♪
♪ Dropping deuces ♪
♪ Making stacks ♪
♪ Dropping deuces ♪
♪ Making stacks ♪
♪ Dropping deuces ♪
♪ Now I got my re-up boss back
on the block all TP'd up ♪
♪ This is how I roll ♪
♪ Ready to blow up
everybody's toilet bowl ♪
♪ So put away that bootleg bidet ♪
♪ And cancel that bulk
order you had on Ebay ♪
♪ Quilted Northern, Charmin, or two-ply ♪
♪ Holla at your boy if
you need to get supplies ♪
♪ But stay six feet back ♪
♪ Social distance applies
if you want these stacks ♪
♪ COVID-19 is spreading,
fear hitting worldwide ♪
♪ But don't let the panic
change who you are inside ♪
♪ Think about it ♪
♪ Y'all got toilet paper
out here like crack ♪
♪ The only way we're
getting through this ♪
♪ Is together ♪
♪ At home, separate but together ♪
♪ I got rolls ♪
♪ Philly ♪
♪ I got rolls ♪
♪ LA, Jersey, New York
City, keep your head up ♪
♪ Miami, ATL, Buffalo ♪
♪ Worldwide, thanks to the clerks ♪
♪ The truck drivers, the delivery people ♪
♪ And leave an N95 mask for
the medical professionals ♪
♪ Make a mask at home ♪
♪ Like you got something
better to do right now ♪
♪ I'm Crazy for this one ♪
