

Patience is my name

Ashley LaFon

Copyright 2010 by Ashley LaFon

Smashwords Edition

Chapter 1

It all started on my 18th birthday. Graduation was months away. I no longer lived with my parents. They kicked me out when I was 16. The reason you ask? It was because I stopped letting my step father Frank beat me. After the last time he beat me I threatened to go to the police after he left me bruised and broken. I was kicked out with 3 broken ribs, a broken wrist, a concussion and multiple bruise. I walked to the ER that night. They asked me if I needed a rape kit. Of coarse I was raped but I just let it go.

So here I am now. I have my own little 1 bedroom apartment. I have a full time job and I am in school. Graduation is 4 months away then I go to college to major in Psychology. So here at work as a waitress. I get great tips because of the how I look, guys say I'm a heartbreaker. I've heard that I have a great body. I don't disagree because I do have a cute face, but my tips mostly come from my tits and my ass. I have to smack at least 3 guys hands every shift I work. I have a hand full of friends that I trust with my life. Go figure they are all guys. I have Seth who is by far the most trusted and loved. he knows everything about me. Then there is Matt. He is a shy guy and was my next door neighbor for awhile. There is Will who lets put it this way is a player. I have slept with him just to see why the women he sleeps with don't care why he sleeps around. He is only really good for sex in that way. There is Marco who is gay. I love Marco he is the best guy to have around when I have woman problems and am emotional. Then there is Damon who is Marco's long life partner. They have been with each other for 10 years. They are the ones that took me in when I was kicked out.

So today March 3 I am 18. All the guys came over to my place. Will brought his newest girl I don't even know her name, or care to find out because she will be gone probably in a couple of days. Seth and I kind of live together. I would ask him to move in with me but he has too much stuff and I will not part with mine nor would he part with his. We have talked about getting a place together but we are still looking for a place that we don't have to part with our stuff. So we just take turns at each others place. We are not going out or anything we have talked about it and we both agree that we are not ready for the commitment of being with each other. We sleep to either we do everything a couple would do but we see other people as well. My apartment is full of all the people I love the most in my life, there is a table that has a hand full of gifts waiting for me to open them. Everyone knows what Will got me, he gets the same dirty girl clothes every year.

Seth:" Hey Patience you going to start on those gifts?" He asked me nicely.

Matt: "Yeah open mine first!!" Sounded a bit too happy for him.

He hands me a envelope with a Sponge Bob card. I sigh

Me:" Matty you know I hate Sponge Bob!!!" I glare at him

Everyone laughs at me. All except Will's girl. I think she doesn't like the fact that the attention isn't on her for once. I open the card to find a $100 gift card to Barns and Noble. I jump over to Matt and sit on his lap. I wrap my arms around his shoulders lean into his ear and whisper "Thank you Matty, I love it and you." I give him a kiss on the cheek and get up to go sit back down on my chair. Matt has turned a deep red.

Me: "Alright who's next?" I ask calmly.

Will hands me a box that is wrapped in black with a red bow. All the guys are giggling because they know what in there. I open it up to find a very cute deep red corset that is leather, and a black mini skirt. Wow not what he usually gets me. All the guys laugh and make comments about how sexy I will look in it and they can't wait to see me in it. At that time I look over at Will's girl and let me just say I'm glad looks don't kill. I would be so dead right now. So what do I do in response to her giving me a dirty look? I jump up out of my chair and jump on the standing Will. I wrap my legs around his waste and give him a big kiss on the lips.

Girl:" You fucking slut!" She screamed at me.

Next thing I know Will and I are on the floor with the psycho bitch on top of us punching me. Damon, Seth, and Matt were right there and pulled her off of us. Of course my Marco was screaming to get her off of me. Will and I were both laughing our asses off. After psycho bitch was standing she stormed out of my place screaming profanity till the door was slammed.

Marco:" Well Patience it just isn't a party until someone gets hurt." He said to me after a few minutes of him cooling down.

Me:" Well I guess the psycho shouldn't be so protective of someone she doesn't know very well huh?" I say with a hint of laughter in my voice.

Seth:" Well lets continue shall we? Patience, Marco, Damon and I all got you a gift. We hope you love it.!" He said with a smile.

Marco handed me a small box. I open it up with a smile on my face. It was a key. I looked at them questionably. They just smiled.

Marco:" We will show you after you open your other gifts Honey." He said with a smile on his face because he knew I hated waiting for things.

I move over to the other gifts and rip them open. All the gifts had to do something with a car. I didn't even own a car, and they knew it. Finally after all the gifts were opened they took me outside. There sat all their cars and a extra one. It was a cute little black eclipse with a sun roof! We all were looking at it. When out of the blue Seth asked me to put the key in it. My eyes went wide my mouth dropped. I ran over and sure enough my key unlocked the door! I started to cry as I sat down in the driver seat and started it up.

Me: "Oh my God you guys. How? Why? Thank you!" I said threw tears coming down my face.

I ran over to them and gave them all hugs and kisses. No one had ever done anything like that for me in my whole life.

Damon: "Well I was lucky when this guy offered to give it to me to work on his Camaro. So the guys and I decided to make it your dream car." He said with a smile on his face and a small tear in his eye.

Marco: "We love you and know how your life has been and how truly sweet you are and how hard you work for everything in your life." He said with a smile on his face trying to hold back the tears.

Seth:" So to make your life better we all helped to make this your best birthday ever!" He said it while holding me close with his head on mine.

I pulled them all closer and held them while I cried.

Me:" I can't even tell you what you guys mean to me." I said threw my tears.

We walked back inside and sat down.

About a hour later I asked Seth to go get the mail for me. I went to the bathroom after he left so I could freshen up after my emotional day. I heard him come back inside. I walked out to see if I got anything in the mail worth reading.

Seth: "Hey you got a letter from a attorney." He said questionably.

Damon:" Did you do something?"

Me:" Not that I know of."

I took the letter from Seth and started to open it. I started with skimming then stopped and started to read it all the way more carefully.

Dear Patience,

I am contacting you in regards to your mother and step father. I regret to inform you that they have passed away. I would like to met with you as soon as possible so we may go over there last wishes. If you could please contact me so we can arrange when we can met I would appreciate it very much. My condolences to you.

I drop the letter and fall to my knees. I start to shake and cry. Will grabbed the letter and the other guys came to my side. They all whisper to Will asking what it says. Will reads the letter out loud.

Marco:" I will go make some tea Honey. "He said with a strange voice and walked in the kitchen.

Damon: "Honey lets get you on the couch." With a worried voice.

Seth wrapped me up in his arms and picked me up and set me down on the couch next to him. I placed my legs over Seth's lap and curled up next to him.

Matt: "Patience I would stay here with you but I have to get ready for work. I love you and I am sorry." He said it with a worried look on his face.

He leaned over to me an kissed my head. I nodded and gave him a half hug. I thanked him again. Matt isn't very good when I have break downs. It reminds him of his mother and the day I broke down at his house.

When I was 14 and Matt still lived next door. Frank had just beat me and raped me. I probably looked like a psycho knocking on his door. My clothes were ripped up, my hair was a mess. My nose was bleeding, my eye's were already turning colors. My lip was split and I was covered in bruises. He let me in like always. He had never seen the abuse till that day. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do or say, so he just ran a bath for me. He went in the kitchen to make me some hot coco. While I sat in the tub I wanted to end my life so I slit my wrists. Matt found me in a tub full of blood and me barely breathing. While I was in the hospital recovering, he told me that he had found his mother the same way but she wasn't as lucky as I was. From that day on I didn't go to Matt's house when I was upset. I felt horrible.

Wills phone went off about a hour latter.

Will:" I'm sorry Pat I got to go. When your feeling better and get everything under control let me know. We will go out to dinner in your new out fit and show off your sexy 5'5 body. Make the guys wish they were me." He started laughing at that thought.

I nodded and let out a small laugh. He gave me a small kiss on the cheek and left. We didn't do anything much after they left just watched re runs of CSI. Marco and Damon were getting bored with CSI so they left after about 2 hours. Marco wanted me to call him later when I was feeling up to it. Seth just kept rubbing my leg soothing me. I felt his phone vibrate under my leg. He reached into his pocket and looked at the text. Let out a huge sigh and punched in a response.

Seth: "Hey I got to run out to my car to get my lap top so I can send this file about a case I am working on to the other side. Will you be okay till I get back?"

I nodded. He gave me a kiss on the head softly pushed my legs off his lap and went to the door. He looked at me before he walked out. I grabbed my phone and the letter off the coffee table. I took a deep breath and called the number the attorney left at the bottom of the page. About 5 minutes after I called I had a appointment to meet with Mr. Ramon at 9:00AM tomorrow. Seth walked in the door carrying his laptop bag and a smile on his face.

Me:" Hey Seth what are you doing tomorrow at 9:00AM?" I asked him with a smile.

Seth:" Well I am spending time with my favorite person in the world silly!" He busted out laughing.

Me:" Good I need you to come with me to met with Mr. Ramon about the will they left me and make sure that if I have to pay off their debts that you can get me out of it."

Seth nodded and pulled out his laptop and started getting to work. Seth was a lawyer, he would be the perfect person to go with me. I decided to pick up a book and read. I started thinking of the night I met Seth, it was also the night I met Marco.

I was 15 years old. My mother was out and I was home with Frank. I had been on the phone for a hour when I finally said good by to my friend. Frank came into my room with a face of innocence. I knew something was up.

Frank: "Fuck never thought you would get your ass off that fucking phone". He said with a smile.

Me:" I'm sorry Frank I didn't know you needed it. "I said kind of worried.

Frank:" I don't need the fucking phone dumb ass I wanted you."

Before I knew what to say he moved into my room and came straight for me. He punched me in the eye an I feel towards my bed. He grabbed me around my throat. I couldn't scream as the tears were streaming down my face. With his free hand he ripped my shirt off and threw it to the ground. He growled at me and started screaming about me wearing a bra in his house. It was a rule never to wear under ware in his house. Frank grabbed my bra and ripped it off, I could feel the teeth of my bra dig into my back. He started punching me in the face and stomach. I felt the blood run my nose into my mouth, my eye was already swelling. I felt him struggling with my pants. He finally was able to pull them off of me. I knew I was in trouble because I was wearing panties. He growled even louder when he seen them. He went crazy. He started punching with both fist all over my body, grabbing my panties and ripping them off my thin waist. I could see the bruises forming on my stomach and my thighs. I could see his aroused penis threw his pants. He undone his pants and threw them on the ground. I begged him to stop. He only laughed at me. That when he thrust his penis inside my vagina. I felt it ripping me. It wasn't my first time having intercourse and it wasn't the first time Frank had raped me. But none the less when someone forces them self on you your chances of being ripped are high. I could feel the blood dripping from the tear. I could feel his hip bones digging into my thighs when he would thrust inside me. I listen to him breath hard, sweat dripping off his forehead for 30 minutes. Every so often he would hit me to get a sound to come out of me. He finally grunted as his sperm filled my insides. I wanted to throw up. He went soft as he sat up. His sperm and my blood were dripping from me. I couldn't move I was hurting so bad. He walked out of the room for about 30 minutes then came back with a dildo that was bigger then him. I started to cry and beg him to just leave me alone. He laughed at me and shoved the dildo into my vagina. No mercy ever came from him. He thrust it in me like he was punching me. He then slid it out and shoved it into my anus. I screamed as loud as I could with the pain. I tried to move but he just held me down has he shoved it in and out. I heard my mothers car, and so did he. He slammed my door and put the dresser in front of it. I screamed as loud as I could hoping my mother would rescue me. Though to this day she never had. I could hear her banging on the door to let her in. He threw the dildo on the floor and shoved his penis into my anus fast and hard. After a hour of him thrusting he finally grunted and went soft filling my anus with his sperm. My body weighed a ton. I could barely move. Blood had dried on my face. He pulled his pants on and moved my dresser back. He opened the door to my mother sitting on the other side watching the door. She stood up and got in his face, tears streaking her face.

Mother:" What the fuck did you do to her Frank? Why the fuck did you do it?" She screamed incoherently at him.

Frank:" The little slut was begging me to fuck the shit out of her. She begged me to beat her and fuck her tight pussy and ass. I did what any man would do." He said smoothly and walked into the kitchen.

My mother walked over to me with anger in her eyes, but her anger wasn't towards Frank and I knew it.

Mother:" You fucking slut. I work 7 days a week to give you fucking everything. You turn around and fuck my husband? You ungrateful bitch! "She screamed in my face.

She spat in my face and walked out my door slamming it closed. She went to talk to Frank they were talking so quietly that I thought I was dreaming it all. I heard them leave the house. I took all my energy to get up. I found a pair sweats in my dresser, along with a matching sweater. I slipped into my clothes and my flip flops and slowly walked out the door. I knew where I was going I just had to make it there.

While walking down the highway I fell to the ground, I hurt so bad I couldn't move. He never got this carried away. I heard a car stop up ahead. I just laid on the side walk numb. I heard a car door shut.

Man:"Hey, are you okay?" He asked in a soft voice.

Instantly I became frantic in crying, as he picked me up and carried me to the car. He started whispering that it'll be ok as we got to the car. He started up the car and started heading down the road.

Man: "My name is Seth what your name Sweetie?" He asked in a very worried voice.

Me: "My name is Patience." I said in a shaky voice.

Seth: "What a very pretty name. I'm in my last year in College to become a lawyer. May I ask what happened to you Sweetie?"

I broke down crying even harder he didn't say anything else. We got to the ER and Seth carried me in. They got us to a room. While I waited for a nurse Seth just sat next to me on the bed holding my hand and running his other hand threw my long strawberry blond hair. He was comforting me and I have never known what that felt like till right then. I couldn't help but curl up next to him. A male nurse walked in and looked at me. I watched him grab my chart and look over it. I seen his name tag it read Marco.

Marco:" Oh Honey lets see were we should start okay?" He said in a very caring voice.

I nodded. He was making mental notes.

Marco: "I have to ask you some very personal questions and I am not sure if you would feel more comfortable with a woman."

I shook my head no. I didn't want Marco to leave. After about a hour or so they kicked Seth out to do a rape kit on me. Frank really had done some damage to me. I had to get stitches on were he ripped me. I was on some pain killers as well. Seth came back in and I curled up to him again. After all that the police came in. I told them the story of what happened. I left out my Mother in the story. I also told them I didn't want to press charges. No body understood why. I spent 3 days in the hospital and Frank would spend 30 days in Jail. Mother was pissed because I told them he raped me. While he was in jail I found a job. I didn't spend so much time at home any more. Seth and Marco gave me there phone numbers and address so I would have someone to talk to. The rest is history as you know.

Seth and I woke up naked in bed next to each other cuddling up a storm. We got up took a shower and dressed. We grabbed some breakfast and headed to Mr. Ramon's office. As we got to his office we were greeted by the receptionist who directed us the waiting area. We sat and waited for Mr. Ramon. About 10 minutes later he pulled us in his office.

Ramon: "Patience are you aware your fath...." He started to say

Me:" He was my step father." I interrupted him and corrected him.

Ramon:" Sorry Step father Frank was wealthy?" He said as though I hadn't interrupted him.

Me:" No we lived in a shitty 2 bedroom 2 bathroom trailer. I think you have the wrong Frank." I said in disgust.

Ramon:" I see wh...."

Me: "No you don't see! Before we continue how the fuck did they die? Did they suffer?"

Ramon:" I'm sorry, they were driving when a semi truck lost control and hit them head on." He said matter of fact.

Me:" And did they suffer?" I was getting frustrated with him not answering my question.

Ramon: "I don't think that is something...."

Seth:" With all do respect here Mr. Ramon my client had a terrible life because of Frank, she asked you a simple question on if they suffered please answer her question." I love my Seth he said it in a lawyer tone that you couldn't just say no too.

Ramon: "Very well." He said in a snide voice." When they were hit, your Mother was stuck in the car for 3 hours. She was awake the whole time screaming and crying. They used the jaws of life to get her out. Once they got to her and pulled her out of the car she died. Frank your step father he was thrown threw the windshield and wasn't found for a hour or so in a ditch. He was badly injured. He lived for about 3 days before the internally bleeding killed him. So does that answer your question?"

Seth:" Yes thank you Mr. Ramon. Now can you please explain to us what is in the Will and what their wishes were for my client?"

Ramon:" Yes of course. In the Will it states that all that belonged to Frank and her Mother is hers. An they wish to be cremated and have their ashes spread out in the ocean."

Seth: "An what all did my client inherited?"

Ramon:" Well lets see here. Frank was a millionaire so she is now a millionaire. Franked owned a multimillion dollar company that Patience now owns. She is now the owner of 5 properties. 1 of them being the trailer she was raised in."

Me: "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you sure your not mistaking the Frank bastard I know with a different Frank?"

He shook his head and handed Seth some paper work. Seth took about 10 minutes reading over the papers. He cleared his throat.

Seth:" Sweetie, your a millionaire now. Frank left you everything."

I just looked at him blankly. I couldn't understand what the fuck was going on around me. We talked some more about how to go forward with it, I had to sign a bunch of paper work. An finally we left Mr. Ramon's office and took off back to my place.

The next couple of days were filled with getting everything in my Mother's and Frank's name over to mine. To get the money transferred over to my account. Come to find out it was going to take a couple of weeks to verify and confirm all this so I was still broke for the time being. Seth and I talked this all over multiple times on how Frank hid the fact that he was rich from myself and my mother. Seth came to the conclusion that he thinks my mother knew Frank was loaded. I disagreed with him. So my plan now is to take Marco and Damon with me to go to the trailer were my worst nightmares happened.

I unlocked the trailer door and stepped inside. I dropped the keys when I seen that nothing had been touched since the day they kicked me out. The coffee cup I threw at Franks head was still shattered on the floor. My blood was still all the door where he threw me against it and my shoulder hit the back of the nail that was sticking out. I started walking towards my mother's room. Marco and Damon followed me.

Me:" We need to look for a diary or something to find out what my mother knew. They left here the day I left here. They left it just like I left it."

Marco started searching around the bed. Flipping the mattress's and under the bed. Damon was in the closet looking at the top and the bottom under shoes. I went to her dresser. I started with the top dresser. I threw her clothes out onto the floor. Nothing in the top. I did the same to the 2nd drawer, nothing. Moved to the 3rd and did the same. I seen a hole about the size of my finger in the bottom. I couldn't see the floor threw the hole.

Me: "Guys! I said it calmly."

They came over as I pulled the bottom out of the drawer. There it was a secret place in her dresser. Inside was a Diary. There were 2 boxes with 2 different names on the top. 1 said "Patience" the other "Frank". We looked at each other not knowing what it meant. I knew I had allot of reading to do, I don't know if I could open those boxes.

Chapter 2

It's been 4 months since I found out my Mother and Frank died. It's graduation night. I'm in my cap and gown, the colors are blue and black. It's been a strange 4 months. I became a millionaire in a night, found out that my entire up bringing was a lie. After I found the boxes and the diary in my mothers dresser, I put them up in a closet in a room Marco gave me. I moved out of my one bedroom apartment. Seth and I moved into one of the 5 houses that I got. I also moved Marco and Damon into one of the houses. I gave Will the Condo that over looked the ocean. Matt got the little cottage right out side of town. They are all pretty happy that they don't have bills to pay any more except their personal bills. But as for a roof over their head, water, electric it's all free. Seth helped me find a good accountant to help me with all my new money I got. He also took over the business I inherited as well. I'm going to go to college for business now so I can take it over and make Seth 2nd in charge. We are all living the good life with out money problems. It's time for me to graduate now with all my loved ones watching.

They start calling out names. I look into the crowd and see all of the guys sitting there waiting for them to call my name. As they call my name I can hear all the guys screaming. Marco is crying uncontrollably. The rest have silent tears falling from there eyes. If it wasn't for these 5 men I wouldn't be here today getting my High school diploma. I would be on the streets or I would be dead. As I receive my diploma I walk down the stairs and sit down next to my fellow class mates. I don't know any of them and they don't know me. But I feel at that moment that we have all known each other and have watched each other grow into the adults we are today.

I look into Will's face as he is checking out all the female graduates thinking witch one he is going to try and sleep with tonight. I can't help but shake my head. I think back to when I first met Will. It's a pretty funny story actually. I was at a party when I was 15 it was after I went to Matt's house and tried to kill myself. Matt had took me to one of his parties to cheer me up. Matt was by him self like usual and introduced me to Will. Matt had grown up with Will. Will just looked at me like eye candy. He like all the other guys would just stare at my tits. But after Will looked into my violet eyes he couldn't look away. We talked all night, about nothing really. Just the usual first conversations. He asked me basic questions like how I knew Matt, what my favorite color was, what my parents were like. I didn't tell him the truth about them, I just went around the question. He didn't seem to mind. He asked me if he could take me out on a date. I had agreed to go. That weekend I met Will over at the mall to get a burger and movie. Will was waiting for me. We had a great night until he asked me if I would like a ride home. I knew I should've said no but I took it any ways. I never thought ahead of time, I figured they would have been asleep.

After Will dropped me off we made plans to hang out tomorrow night as well. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked inside. I didn't see the lights on so I figured I was safe. Right after I shut the front door, Frank was waiting for me.

Frank: "You little slut! I knew you loved the cock! You didn't ask my permission to sleep with someone else." He was talking in a sly voice that I knew was going to be trouble.

Me: "Frank get over your self! I didn't sleep with him, we just."

He grabbed me by the throat and shoved me against the door, I felt my self go under a few seconds from the blow.

Frank: "Don't you ever fucking talk to me like I'm a fool you stupid bitch! Your in my fucking house! If I say you fucked someone then fucking did, do you understand me?" He was yelling right in my face. All I could do was nod my head.

He punched me right in the stomach, I cringed and grunted with the blow. He started in on punching my face, I tried to cover my face with my arms but it wasn't working to well. About that time my Mother pulled into the drive way. Oh great now I'm going to be in huge trouble. Frank then threw me onto the floor so my Mother could come in. He was on top of me punching me like a punching bag. Mother walked in.

Mother: "Fuck can't I come home with you two getting along? Frank what did she do this time?" She was irritated I could tell just in her tone.

Frank: "The little slut was out fucking a guy and came home smelling of sex. She was flaunting that she could get away with everything!" He said it with anger but his smile was just for me to see.

Mother: "Oh for fucks sake Patience! Your such a trouble maker I should have had that abortion when I had the chance. Your turning into a worthless piece of shit." He mother was clearly upset now.

She walked over and pushed Frank off of me. I was so relieved I didn't see what happened next. She held down my arms.

Mother: "Frank you show this little fucking slut that little boys are shit! You show her how a REAL man fucks that it isn't meant for her to like it!."

With that Frank hit me so hard I blacked out. When I woke up I could feel him pounding inside me. I felt the worst pain in my life. I could feel him in my belly. I wanted to throw up. I looked around to see my mother still pinning me down as Frank was taking turns punching me and raping me. I felt so betrayed. I couldn't stand it. He finally grunted and got of me. My mother grabbed me by my hair and pulled me into the bathroom. She ran just the hot water and threw me in there. The water burnt my skin. I couldn't stop crying. After what felt like a hour she shoved me in my room and shut the door. I curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep. I moved the dresser in front of the door and laid down. I didn't get out of bed for 3 days. I didn't want to go out there. I heard them both leave. I got dressed and called Will. I told him he needed to come get me now. I didn't know why I called him but I did. After 20 minutes he showed up. That was the first night we had sex.

After graduation a couple of class mates asked me to go to the after party. I declined Will was disappointed, but not for long. A cute girl invited him to go. He accepted the offer and left with her. Marco, Damon, Matt and I all went out to throw our own party at the beach. We had beer, pizza, and yes chocolate for me. We had a small camp fire going and a little radio playing. I was curled up next to Marco and Seth. We were laughing and having a good time when out of no where I started to shake. I was back in my room and Frank was on top of me pounding inside of me. I was crying and screaming he put his hand over my mouth. Then I was back with my friends on the beach. Marco was leaning over the top of me saying something. I couldn't hear him, my ears were ringing from when Frank hit me. Wait were is Frank. I stood up as fast as I could and looked around. He wasn't here. Marco was holding me when I finally broke down and fell to my knees. He started to rock me back and forth. He started singing a lullaby to me. I ended up falling asleep in his arms on the beach. What just happened to me?

"I was in bed curled up under my blankets. I could hear mother and Frank talking about bills. I heard my mother slam the front door and leave. Her cars engine wasn't in ear shot any more. I started to fall asleep when I heard my door open. I turned in my bed to see Frank standing there. He was naked. I never seen him naked before. He just stood there for a minute then walked over to my bed. I could smell the liquor on his breath as he slide under the covers with me.

Frank: "Shhh little girl I love you. I want to show you my love. Don't you love me and want to show me how much you love daddy Frank?" He cooed it in my soft little ear.

I nodded my head. I did love daddy Frank, I couldn't remember my real daddy and Frank was always so nice to mommy and me. Frank slide his hand over my chest were some day I would have boobies like mommy. Frank let out a small grunt. I giggled cause I never heard that sound only when him and mommy were in their rooms. He was genital then his hand started to move down to were I go potty. It felt funny he was touching me.

Me: "Daddy Frank that were I go potty why is your hand there?" I couldn't understand what he was doing. It felt wrong.

Frank: "Oh sugar this is how I show you I love you. Don't you want me to love you? I can't love you unless I can show you. Doesn't that sound fair?" He asked in a very genital way.

I nodded my head cause I didn't know any better. I felt him slip his finger in me. I let out a soft whimper.

Me: "Daddy Frank that hurts me!"

Frank: "Shhh sugar it won't hurt for long I promise. Why don't you show me you love me?"

Me: "I don't know how too."

He took my hand and guided it to something hard. I didn't know what to do. He wrapped my little fingers around it and moved my hand up and down.

Frank: "Just like that sugar. Go faster"

I tried to make him happy and go faster but when I did that he slide another finger in me. I let out a small cry but he didn't stop. He just started to go faster. I stopped moving my hand and let him go.

Frank: "Sugar don't you love me?" He pleaded.

Me: "Yes but your hurting me really bad and this feels wrong."

He took his fingers out of me and straddled me. I seen what I was holding hovering over my tummy.

Frank: "Okay sugar I will stop but you have to finish showing me how much you love me? Does that sound fair?"

I nodded my head. He took my had and put it back to his thing that was hard. This time he left his own hand on mine and started moving it fast. Soon after that, he let out this loud grunt and stuff came out of him. It landed on my chest and tummy. It was smelled funny but a lot of things were smelling funny tonight. He took his finger and picked some of it up and put it in my mouth. I held back the puke that tried to come out.

Frank: "Good girl, you get some ice cream! Would the big 5 year old like some ice cream now?" He said like he was really happy.

I woke up in a could sweat and screaming. I sat up in my bed and looked around. There wasn't anyone in the bed with me. I heard my door open and I screamed some more and tried to run to the corner. The light came on.

Marco: "Honey, it's me Marco. Can you hear me? Are you okay?" He pleaded with me as he put his hands in front of him as if to surrender. He was slowly walking towards me.

I got up and ran to him. I wrapped my arms around him and he did the same. We walked over to the bed and I didn't let him go. I couldn't stop crying. Marco was singing one of the lullabies to me again and rubbing my back. After I calmed down I told him about what happened at the beach and what I was dreaming about. I told him how real it all felt to me.

Marco: "Oh honey, it sounds like you have Post traumatic stress. I know some good people you can talk to, to try and help you threw this okay?"

I nodded, I just wanted it to go away. I started crying again remembering how Marco and I got so close. Marco was like a mother I had always wanted. When ever I needed someone for my girly needs I would ask Marco and he would bring over Midol, chocolate, tampons, and even a good chick flick. Then he would take me to his and Damon's place cause he wanted me safe. I spent a lot of time there with them. Marco taught me how to cook, and even sew. Damon taught me how to change a tire, the oil, and how to change brakes on a car. When ever Marco noticed holes in my clothes he would take me shopping and give me the best advice on what looked good or bad on me. He would buy them cause he knew I had no money. I loved Marco and Damon. Damon was like the father I wish I had. He would give me advice on guys, tell me not sell myself short cause with my lips guys would be falling on me. He liked to compare my lips to Angela Jolie. Told me that mine were nicer then hers. I laughed at him cause there is no way, maybe second best but not better. I even had my own room there for when I stayed the night at their place. They didn't mind they said I was like a daughter they could never have. They couldn't afford to adopt and no one would adopt to them since they were a gay couple. I never could understand why people wouldn't let them adopt they would be the best parents that anyone could ask for.

After Marco left to go to bed I laid there thinking of the night my mother and Frank kicked me out. I had just turned 16 a week before and there had been no abuse for almost 2 weeks. I was starting to feel safe again. The night before I had been with Seth. It was a great night. We had stayed up late watching scary movies and pigging out. We didn't get to watch a lot of the movies cause we were making out most of the time. After one of the movies were over we headed to his room. We got into his bed and were kissing each other. His hand went up under my shirt and started to caress my breast. I pushed my chest closer to him and ran my fingers down his back. He took off my shirt leaving me in my bra. He started kissing me again, his kisses were so genital and passionate I couldn't stop kissing him. I removed his shirt. I traced my finger tips down his chest and on to his abs. I followed the "V" to his pants. I started undoing his pants when Seth stopped kissing me. He put his hands on my face and looked me in the eyes.

Seth: "Are you sure your okay with this? I don't want you to feel like you have to make love to me?" He was pleading and was very sinecure about it.

I knew that if I said no he would stop and just hold me and that he wouldn't hold it against me. He knew my past, he knew what Frank had done to me but yet he still wanted me in that way.

Me: "I am sure. I want to make love to you." I said to him almost in a whisper.

He removed the rest of his clothes then slowly undressed me to were I was naked. We laid facing each other completely naked. We traced each other's bodies with our finger tips. We started kissing again with more urgency in our kisses. I pressed my body up against him and he reached down and grabbed my ass and pulled me closer. He softly pushed me on my back and slid on top of me. He moved my legs with his and started to kiss down my neck. Kissing down neck my collar bone down to my breasts. He took one breast into his hand and flicked at the nipple softly with his finger. He took the other breast into his mouth and flicked my nipple with his tongue. My back slightly arched and a soft moan escaped my mouth. He moved his mouth towards my belly and took his free hand to the now abandoned nipple. He kissed my hips and kept moving down. He reach my moist pussy and kissed my clit. I felt a warm sensation go threw my core when his tongue touched my clit. I arched my back and pushed my hips up to met with his tongue. As he continued to move his tongue around my clit I felt my body growing warmer with heat and lust. He flicked his tongue and I felt a rush of pleasure in my core I thrust my hips up in the air, my fingers went threw his hair and I moaned in pleasure. I felt my body go limp, I felt a warm gush in my pussy. Seth slowly moved his way back up to my hips and gave me a deep kiss. I could taste my self. It was a sweet taste. I liked the taste of myself. Seth moved his throbbing cock inside me, he did so very slowly. I could feel his cock slowly filling my pussy. He went slow at first then started to go deeper, the feel of his cock sliding in and out of my wet pussy was incredible. The motion started to pick up speed, my hips rising with his thrusts. He was moaning softly and our breath was out of control. I felt is hard cock start to throb as my pussy was tighten around it. I felt him cum inside me as I started to shake with pleasure. We both moaned. Seth Collapsed on top of me then rolled over. I laid there for a good 5 minutes before I got up.

Seth: "Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" He asked me with worry.

Me: "Oh fuck no, I don't think I have ever felt that way during sex. I just need to wash up." I said with a grin on my face.

I started the shower and Seth joined me. We washed up and went back to bed. This time we went to sleep. When I woke up in the morning he made me breakfast then drove me over by my house. I kissed him a long good bye kiss until next time. The only reason I even went back home was cause I had to work that day. As I walked up the drive way to the trailer both cars were there. Great they are both home maybe they are still asleep and I won't see them. I opened the door. Nope luck was not on my side that morning.

Mother: "So you little slut where have you been all night?" She was in a bad mood. Great

Me: "I was over at Marco, and Damon's house last night were else would I be?" I said with a little edge in my voice.

Frank: "Hey you little bitch don't talk to your mama like that or do I have to show you how to be nice?" He said it while he edged closer to the edge of the couch.

I ran to my room and flung the dresser in front of the door. Frank and my Mother were banging on the door to let them in. I would never open that door to them when they are tag teaming on me. So I went in my bathroom and got ready for work. Looks like I will have to climb out my window this morning. Wasn't the first time. Frank and Mother stopped and went back to the living room. I moved my dresser back so when I got home I could just come in my room and move the dresser. I then climb out the window. I walked all the way to work. I worked at a local truck stop as a waitress. It wasn't a great paying job but the tips were great. The guys would come and have dinner with me sometimes or just sit there and wait for my breaks and keep my company. 5 hours latter my shift was over and I wasn't ready to go home. I had made $100 in tips that shift. I went to the mall. I wanted to get a new CD and maybe watch a movie. I text the guys asking if they would like to watch a movie with me tonight my treat, unfortunately they were all working. So I ended up watching a movie alone. 8:00pm great by the time I get home it will 9 and they should either be fucking or out drinking. I hope drinking. I got home to the lights on and the TV blaring. Great they aren't doing either. I walk to the front door and try to walk straight to my room but Frank grabbed my arm. I tried to wiggle free but he had a good grip on me. Mother was in the hall way walked down it screaming at me. She he me across the face so hard a landed on the floor. I looked at what was in her hand it was a belt. Oh god she took the belt and hit me with it. She just kept hitting me with it. She handed the belt to Frank who whipped my back. I was screaming and crying trying to get up but he didn't stop. I finally some how shoved him and went to run out the door. Mother grabbed something front he kitchen and was running towards me. I seen it shimmer as landed the knife in my collar bone. She with drew it and stabbed me in stomach towards the side. I turned over and was falling towards the floor when Frank ripped my shirt off and grabbed the knife. He carved something in my back.

Me:" I'm fucking done you hear you me? I have 911 on the fucking phone and I'm telling them everything you fucking hear me?" I screamed it at them.

They shoved me out of the way and ran out the door to the car. I really didn't have 911 on the phone but I did have Marco on the phone. He heard the screaming, he heard the crashing and my threat. I knew he was on his way. There was a pounding on the door but I couldn't move I seen the blood on the door and on the floor, it was every were. There was my angel Marco busting down the door and coming beside me. The paramedics were there too. They got me on a stretcher an in the ambulance. Marco followed me in his car. They had almost killed me. After they had put some blood in me and stitched me up I got to talk to the police. I told them the story of what happened that night. Luckily Marco told them I would be with him till I turned 18 and that was good enough for them. My phone went off a week later. It was my Mother.

"You lil cunt! I never want to c ur ugly fucking face again. Never come back your a dirty fucking slut and if you die i will not shed 1 tear for you"

I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. I slipped on my slippers and ran down stairs into the kitchen and plopped down on the counter.

Marco: "Morning Honey. I hear you slept well?" He said with a big grin on his face.

Me: "Yeah I did. Is that for me?" I said as I leaned over trying to steal a piece of bacon he set of the side.

He smacked my hand. An gave me the look as if I better not even try it. I put my hands up in surrender and walked to the kitchen table.

Me: "So Marco I am thinking I am going to read some of Mother's diary today."

Marco: "Would you like some company? Or is this a I got to do it on my own thing?" He said it while cracking a egg into the pan.

Me: "A me thing but after I read it I will let you!" I said it with a big smile.

I kept the diary and the boxes we found 4 months ago in my room at Marco's house. When I went to read them I wanted Marco to be close. I didn't know what I would find in them or what could be in the boxes. All I know was 1 said "Patience" the other "Frank" and then there was Mother's diary. I wonder how long she knew Frank was abusing me for. I wonder if she ever carried or if she always blamed me for him. I know it is not my fault but I don't see how she could allow it. Did she know Frank was loaded? She had to of known right? I mean they never went back to the trailer after that night I'm certain of it. Marco handed me a plate with bacon, eggs, and pancakes on them..

Me: "Thank you Marco I love you!! It looks so fucking good." I said as I shoveled food in my mouth.

He looked at me and busted up laughing. Just went back to cooking then came and sat next to me. We both ended up shoving our faces. We never really talk during meals we are too busy being pigs. After we finish up I wash up the dishes and clean the kitchen.

Marco: "Well I'll be here all day long if you need me. Okay Honey?"

I nodded and headed up to my room. I got a text from Seth asking if I was okay. I text him back everything that had happened from the party and told him I was okay and about ready to read some of Mother's diary and take a nap then go back at reading it. I told him I would text him when I was ready to come out of hiding. I didn't mind he had plenty of work he had to catch up on with the business. I grabbed my foot stool and looked at the top of my closet. There was the 2 boxes and the diary. I just grabbed the diary. I got off the stool and went and sat on my bed with Mothers diary. I took a deep breath and opened the first page.

May 1st 1996

Today I married Frank. He is such a sweet genital soul, I never thought I would get lucky in finding true love after I had Patience. Her father had left me when she was one because I was really depressed and tried to kill myself while he was at work and Patience was in her crib. He came home to her crying and me on the floor in front of her barely breathing. He took her from me. How dare he she was mine not his. After 3 months of trying to find him I found them at a park. I watched them for 3 months and got their routine down. He left her with a sitter and that when I took what was mine back. It wasn't that I loved her it was because she was mine and he took her from me. Now it was his turn to feel the pain of being alone. I will never let him find her again. That bastard. We were on the run till I met Frank. He will be a good father for her and a great husband to me.

February 28th 1997

Frank has been acting weird towards Patience. He is showing her more attention to her then me lately. Now I feel like I am loosing my husband to a little girl. Maybe I should lose some weight and wear more make up. Patience is starting look more like her father then me. He was better looking then I ever was. Maybe that why Frank is loosing interest in me. I will figure something out. Found out that Aaron is still looking for my daughter. He won't find us now that I'm with Frank, and even if he does Frank won't let him take my daughter away from me.

December 30th 1998

I think my daughter is trying to seduce my husband. She keeps sitting on his lap begging for attention. Frank seems to love it. She has him wrapped around her little finger. I lost over 50 pounds and Frank doesn't seem to care. I think he is sleeping with someone else that is younger then me. I will watch him more closer. I am tired of working 7 days a week. I don't know what Frank does but he does work. He doesn't get paid much but he always comes up with the money when we need to before we lose something. He is so great.

March 13th 1999

Well I caught Frank in Patience room tonight. I don't think it was the first time he has been in their either. She had her little sticky finger all over my husbands cock. He had his fingers inside her pussy. I don't know how it got like this. I know it's supposed to be wrong but Frank loves us he really does. When I confronted Frank on what I seen he told me that is the only way he knows how to show love. I made love to him to show him that I loved him MORE then that little girl.

April 2001

It's not getting better. He still shows how much more he loves her then me. I told him that I would leave him if I caught him doing it again. Then he came out and told me he was rich.... I'm not leaving him. I just wish he would be with me not her. The little bitch.

May 2009

Oh that SLUT I knew it. I can't wait till she moves out so that way Frank and I can be happy and rich together the bitch don't even know that 7 days of the week I go shopping for when I will be free of her. Frank likes to beat and rape her now. I don't mind as long as I don't have to see it. Oh but the other day when I got to slap her and spit on her. I have been wanting to do that for years.

March 2010

I just tried to kill Patience. I left with Frank. I took all my hatred I have held for the slut out tonight and almost killed her. I told her never to go back to the trailer, now she will never know how lucky I am and how dumb she is for not trying to steal my husband. My rich husband. She will never know that her real father Aaron also found me at the trailer while she was gone that day. He came there begging to know where she was if she was alive if she was okay. I told him she was fine and that she didn't ever want to see him. She hated him for abandoning her. The look on his face was priceless. So cute the slut still had a impact on her father. To bad she will never met him.

December 2011

Okay so Frank and I have decided that when we die Patience gets everything, for all the bad he done to her. He is so kind and thoughtful feels bad for the slut. I decided to put together some boxes for when we die for her find. In her box will be the ultimate surprise to bad I won't see her face when she does open it. Stupid slut. I feel weird now that we did our Will's like something bad will happen to us.

I took a deep breath cause that was the last entry. She died 3 months later. Go figure, I would say that Karma for her. She did know about the money she knew for a long time he was rich. She never worked her self to the bone she went shopping every day preparing for me to leave. She never loved me I was a pawn to her. She kept me away from my Father that I never knew. Aaron was his name. I wonder if there is any way to find him. My birth certificate doesn't say his name. I text Marco asking him if there was any way to find my father with the given information? There was a knock on my door. I walked over and answered it. It was Marco.

Marco: "Honey that depends do you have his last name or anything?" He asked.

Me: "No. I just have what information my Mother put" I handed him the diary and showed him the important entries.

Marco: "What's in your box honey?" He asked looking around.

Me: "I don't know I haven't looked in it yet. Do you think I should?"

He nodded his head yes. I pointed up in my closet. He got up stood on the stool and pulled down the box that said "Patience" on the top. We both took a deep breath as I opened the box. Inside the box was a baby picture of me and a man I didn't recognize. I picked it up and looked at the back. Aaron and Patience March 3 1994. It was my father. I looked just like him in the picture. An I have the same violet eyes as him. He loved me and he was still looking for me when I was 16.

Me: "Marco that my father! I look like him!" I said with a tear in my eye.

He nodded and looked at the next picture. The box had a lot of pictures of me with him. He really loved me. I held on to the pictures hoping to find something that would help me find him besides a face and a first name. At the very bottom of the box was a address. I had never seen it before. It was only 2 hours from here. I hoped on my laptop and went to google.com I put in the address and printed the directions. I put the pictures away in the box when a letter fell out. Marco picked it up and handed it to me. I started unfolding it and laid it out so Marco could read it as well.

My dearest Patience,

I don't know when or if you will ever see this letter but I hope it does find you. My name is Aaron O'Connor and I am your father. I don't know if your mother ever told you about me or what she said about me but I do love you. I watched as you were brought into this world. When you were about 1 years old I ran away with you, I took you from your Mother because it wasn't' safe. She needed and needs medical help that no one else can give her. One day when I went to work your mother had found you and took you away from me. I looked for you, I am still looking for you. I finally found you shortly after your 16th birthday. I didn't get to see you because your mother said you were not home. Oh my sweet Patience if only I could tell you in person I did NOT abandon you. I will be at this address that I have enclosed. This is were I live with my wife, yes you have a step mother and trust me she is 100% opposite of your real mother. You did have a half sister but unfortunately she passed away when she was a baby of SIDS, my wife Becky could not bare any more children after her but that is okay cause we have you. You are our daughter and we hope that one day we get to met you. I love you my beautiful Patience.

I looked over at Marcus who bawling like a baby, there was no way I could take sweet Marco with me to met my Father, he was too emotional. I needed someone with a little more of stable mood then Marcus. I text Seth and told him I needed him to come help me as soon as he was free. He text me back saying that tomorrow he could do anything for the next 3 days. I couldn't help but smile. Marcus and I put together a little scrap book of my father and my self. It took us all night but by the time we were done we were so excited at how perfect it became. So even though my spiteful mother hated me and never wanted me to find my father she left me all I needed to find him. In a way I was thank full. Tomorrow I would go met him. For the first time in almost 17 years.

I didn't sleep very well that night. All I could think about was finally meeting someone who loved me besides my guys. I wondered how his life was with his wife. If he had a good job. It's funny after 18 years I hated my father for leaving me with my mother and Frank, but now I know that it wasn't his choice. In fact he tried to save me from Mother. I had the most love for him cause he tried to save me before my innocence was taken from me by Frank. I started to fantasize about meeting him when I slowly drifted off to sleep.

"It's so cold in my room tonight. I have socks, sweats and my favorite long sleeve tee shirt on. Daddy Frank hasn't asked me to show him I love him lately but that makes me happy. I don't like showing Daddy Frank I love him. The hard thing spits out gross stuff. He told me once that if I ever told anyone that they would be very mad at me because I love my Daddy Frank and he loves me. He says they could take me away from my mommy for a long time even forever. He told me that they would put me with some really bad people who hurt other people. I never hurt anyone. I wrap in a ball and softly cry. I wish Mommy knew so she would show Daddy Frank her love and he would leave me alone, but I do love Daddy Frank I just don't like showing him or having him show me how much he loves me. Started to dream about kittens when I felt someone get in my bed. I pretend I am still sleeping. Maybe he will go away and see I'm sleeping.

Frank: "Sugar wake up. Daddy Frank needs your love before I feel like you don't love me any more" I was whispering loud in my ear, his breath smelt so bad I wanted to throw up.

He handed me a small white pill and a glass of water.

Me: "Daddy Frank what's this for? I'm not sick." I asked confused.

Frank: "Oh sugar it will make you feel better! It will make you sleepy." He cooed it in my ear.

I was already tired and it seemed liked he just wanted me to get some sleep. So I put some water in my mouth and dropped the little pill in my mouth and swallowed fast. It went down easy this time. I hated pills it was hard to swallow them without choking on them. About 20 minutes later everything felt funny. I started to giggle and my eyes wouldn't stay open. I feel something tugging at my sweat pants, I start giggling more. It tickled. Then something pushed against my upper thigh, everything tickled me I couldn't stop giggling. I opened my eyes to see if I was imagining this, and there was Daddy Frank on top of me. I felt something touching the inside of my thigh right touching the opening were I go potty."

I sit straight up in my bed screaming and crying. I was soaking with sweat. I pushed the pillow in my face and screamed with all my might. I remember when Frank took my innocents I didn't know. I was drugged with something. No one heard my screams that night or the night I lost my innocents. Maybe one day I could tell someone all my memories of what has happened to me. Maybe I will be strong enough to help someone else. My alarm starts to go off. I reach over and turn it off. Not like I could sleep after that any ways. I walk into the kitchen to get some cereal and wait for Seth to pick me up so we can drive to the address that my Father left me and met him for the first time since I was around 1 years old.

Seth showed up around 8:00AM.

Seth: "Well sweetie it's time to go for a little drive. Are you ready for this?"

Me: "I think I have been ready since I seen his picture. I wish I knew more about him."

We grabbed some snacks for the drive and took off. I decided to let Seth drive because I was so nervous. I sat in the car trying to find some music that would soothe me. I reached in the ice chest for some soda and got one out for Seth. I finally just turned off the radio. I couldn't sit still and we just barely left the city limits. I decided to just look out my window and think about what I was going to say to this man, my father. Would I greet him with I "Hello dad I'm Patience." But then I kind of laughed at that. What if he recognized me right when he answered the door? Would I give him a hug? I didn't know how this was going to go. How do you greet someone that is your father that you haven't even met? I decided with a "Hello Aaron, my name is Patience." I would just go from there. I decided I was going to take a nap till we got there. I closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Seth: "Hey sweetie we are here." He said to me while gently shaking me awake.

I rubbed my eyes and looked around. He parked on the other side of the street from the house. It was a pretty small house. Maybe a 2 bedroom house. The yard was green with flowers around the border.

Me: "Okay lets do this Seth."

We got out of the car and I walked over to Seth. I grabbed his hand and we started walking across the road. We got to the door and I rang the door bell. I took a deep breath. I could hear some movement inside.

Woman: "I'm coming hold on just for a minute." We heard her yell.

I wonder if this was my step mother. If so why wasn't Aaron answering the door for her? Was he not home. He must not have been since right then the woman came and opened the door. She was about 5'2 an about 45 years old. She had a oxygen mask under her noise.

Woman: "Yes may I help you?" She asked in sort of a pant.

Me: "Yes I'm looking for Aaron he used to live here. Does he still live here?" I asked a little to eager.

Woman: "No I'm afraid Aaron and his wife moved out of here I would say about a year ago. Poor man. An his wife such a sweet thing, I think they moved back to her home town cause her father passed away of a heart attack."

An with that my world came down, he wasn't here either was his wife.

Me: "Oh do you have a forwarding address or know where her home town is?"

Woman: "I'm sorry I don't have a forwarding address for them, I do think her home town is some were in Texas I'm not too sure on the town though I'm sorry my dear." She said it with sadness in her voice.

Seth: "That's okay thank you Ma'am have a great day." With that he shook her hand.

We walked back to his car and drove home.

Chapter 3

It was a couple of months since I went to address Aaron had left me. You would think that with all information I had on him I would've found him by now. Unfortunately this was not the case. I had hired some detectives to find him and so far they haven't found any leads to were they were. I never thought that someone could just pack up and leave with out a forwarding address, since after all he wanted to find me. He did leave me that address after all. Things seemed to be okay for the most part. I was seeing a psychologist. They kept trying different medications for my PTSD but none of them seem to be helping me that much. I had even tried to kill myself on one of the medications. They were starting to think that I wasn't getting better but worse. My nightmares seemed to be intensifying to the point of me not even wanting to sleep at night. I was getting insomnia now. Marco kept a good watch on me during the trying of the medication. Seth would stay with me over at Marco, and Damon's place all the time. I didn't want to go to my house because of how unstable I was. Everyone was worried about me.

Today was a good day. I had energy and wanted to go out and socialize. It had been awhile since I had wanted to do that so when I told Marco we needed to go out and show our faces he jumped to the idea. We decided to hit up the mall. We went to every shop. We had so many bags that we had to take them out to the limo and have the driver take trips back to Marco's house to unload while we did more shopping. After buying clothes, personal items, and knit knacks we had the rest of the day in the spa. We got Mani's and pedal's. I had my hair trimmed up looking nice. I don't ever dye my hair. Then I went and got us massages. I felt great and refreshed. I was on a high of energy. We ended up going out to eat dinner. Then we went home. Marco was so tired he went straight to bed. Me other the other hand still was bursting with energy. I had been depressed for what seemed like ages then paw I was back up. So I grabbed all the new stuff I bought and carried them to my room. Seth was laying on the bed typing away on his computer. We didn't say anything as I went back out to get another load. After about 4 rounds of getting all my stuff I sat on the bed, next to Seth.

Me: "Hey Seth, how's work? How are you?" I asked cause it felt like forever since I had actually talked to him.

Seth: "Work is stressful I am thinking of hiring another person to help actually. An me I'm doing good beside the stress from work and you." He said with his eyebrows burrowed.

"How are you doing sweetie? You haven't been yourself lately and I have been worried. Today you seem like well you. Did you hear anything from the detective trying to find Aaron?"

Me: "No I haven't heard anything yet. I just woke up this morning feeling energized and well I took Marco shopping to have a girls day!. We bought a whole bunch of stuff as you can see I'm sure! Then I got my hair trimmed up. We had our nails done and a massage. I think I wore Marco out today, he is already asleep." I said with a slight bounce in my voice.

Seth: "Well I am glad to hear, I have tomorrow off, if you are still feeling great we should go on a date."

Me: "A date? You mean like a couple not as just friends but as a couple? A real date?"

Seth: "Yes if that is okay with you? I mean we aren't getting younger, we have been threw more then any actual married couple and we both know I love you more then anything silly woman!"

Me: "Wow of course I will go on a date with you! I have been waiting FOREVER for you to ask me. I just hope I can stay this way again tomorrow, maybe this medication is doing it's job. This might be my "happy" pill!"

Seth: "Well if I really want to have tomorrow off I have get back to this paper work. Why don't you put your stuff away and maybe by the time your done I will be as well and we can have some "Us" time."

Oh I really loved the sound of that. Since I have been depressed and really low we haven't had sex for awhile. I jumped off the bed and made my way to the other side of the room. I opened my closet. It was whole other room just for my clothes. Seth had another closet just like this one but it was smaller but he didn't have to have one as big as mine he didn't have as many clothes as me. I grabbed a bag and walked into the closet. I started to put my clothes away one bag at a time. My closet was organized. I had a summer, Winter, Fall, and Spring section. Then I had the business, Casual, clubs, restraints, and school clothes separated. I had shoes that covered my whole floor around the walls. Seth doesn't come in here he feels like he is getting lost when he even looks in here. Marco loves my closet his closet is the same size and has just as many clothes. As I was putting some of the hats on the top shelf something fell off. When I looked down to pick it up, it was the "Frank" box. I sighed as I stood there starring at it.

Seth: "Are you okay in there? I heard something fall." He yelled with a worried voice.

I couldn't move I couldn't say anything. I had for at least today forgot about what Frank had done to me for 11 years. I fell to my knees and was softly crying as Seth walked in.

Seth: "Oh sweetie. What are you doing with that box?"

Me: "I was putting my hats away when it fell."

He walked over to me getting on his knees next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back. I rested my head on his shoulder. I took a deep breath and grabbed the box and stood up. Seth just followed me. I sat at the desk in the corner and Seth grabbed the extra chair and pulled it next to me. I opened the "Frank" box. Seth and I looked at each other and couldn't believe what we saw. We took everything out and laid it on the desk. I walked over to the bed and laid down. Seth came shortly after and held me. We didn't make love that night but I did sleep with out nightmares.

The next morning I woke to a empty bed. I looked to the desk and it was empty, all the stuff in "Frank" box was gone. Seth probably took it to Marco or to go see more into what we found. I got dressed in a new out fit I bought. It was a cute little light blue short skirt with a matching plane tank. Slipped on some light blue flip flops and walked down to the kitchen. Marco, Damon, And Seth were all sitting at the dinner table with "Frank" box in the center. They each had a lap top in front of them, there was still 10 other flash drives on the table. They hadn't heard me come in yet so I walked to the fridge to get some milk. As soon as the fridge opened up all the laptops closed and all the guys turned to look at me.

Me: "What? Do I look that bad? Do I smell funny?" I lifted up my arm and sniffed my arm pit. Nope smelt like soft lavender.

Marco: "No Honey you look AMAZING like I said you did when you tried that on! I love it when your hair is in a nice pony tail." He said looking a little guilty. Like he just got caught getting into the cookie jar.

Damon: "Well you don't smell bad, I smell lavenders so either we got a new fresher or you smell like lavender." He had a good poker face and I could tell he was using his poker face.

Me: " Well if I never felt a kiss ass before I sure in the hell feel it now. Why did you all close your laptops when you actually noticed I came in? Does it have to do with what was on those flash drives?"

They all looked around and then settled in on Seth. Seth looked at them and nodded, then he looked at me.

Seth: "Sweetie we have been looking at them and well I think you need to sit down for what I am about to tell you." He said with a sinecure voice but yet serous voice.

I walked over to him and sat on his lap, I could tell he liked it, he wrapped one arm around my waist and rubbed my side.

Me: "Well what is it?"

Seth:" Before I tell you or even show you I need to know where your sitting mental right now. Do you feel stable or a little on edge?" He asked very serous now.

Me: "Well I'm happy I feel stable knowing we are going on a date tonight." I smiled at him. He just nodded.

Seth: "Sweetie I will give you the option, I can tell you what is on the flash drives OR I can show you a clip? I will tell you now that it is NOT good what is on these tapes."

I sat there and pondered for a awhile, I didn't know if I even wanted to know what was on those drivers. I wasn't sure.

Me: " Let me get something to eat while I think. I don't know if I want to know what is on them. He wasn't a good man he was hurt full man. No good ever came from him when he was alive only when he died." I gave Seth a kiss and walked over to the cabinets. The guys came into the kitchen as well and started getting them selves something to eat. We all ate in silence. It was a weird morning. I felt normal again though. That was always good, but then those drivers where making crazy. One hand I wanted to know what my mother knew of him, on the other I didn't want to because of my progress. I was in a tough spot. I didn't want to throw myself back an go down again just when I seen the happiness. I decided I didn't want to know for now. I wanted to concentrate on being happy while I was happy.

Me: "So Seth what type of dress should I wear tonight for our date?" I asked with a big smile of Marco and Damon.

Marco: "About time you two start dating! I'm so happy for the both of you!" He ran over hugging me.

Damon: "I think you two are a great couple just trying to find your foot hold to make a great relationship." He said it while washing up his bowl.

Seth:" Well we are going to go have dinner in a semi nice restaurant then we are going to a club, so something sexy but not too sexy." He smiled wickedly.

I nodded and looked at Marco.

Me: "Hey Marco I am going to need your help picking out something tonight will you help me?"

He nodded his head. We went up to my room even though our date wasn't till tonight we had a lot of clothes to pick threw, plus I needed a shower, my make up and to do my hair. It was a first date after all, might as well do it right. We went into my closet were we started shifting threw all my clothes. We decided no to the club dresses because they were made to kill. No to the fancy wear because it wasn't practical in a club. After about 3 hours trying on different outfits we settled on a simple black dress that went mid thigh, with a deep neck line and low back. It was clubish and fancies. From there Marco went back down stairs and I went to my private bathroom. I turned on the hot water and started my shower. I made sure everything was hairless. Could be my lucky night, I knew it would be and I knew it would be with Seth. After that I made sure I washed my twice and my body 3 times. Had to make sure I was spotless. A hour latter I got out of the shower. I dried myself and went to the mirror with all my hair products and all my make up. I decided to start with my hair. I decided to put it up in a simple bun with two strands coming down towards the back, and two strands in the front. I made sure when I did this I put some jell in my hair so it would hold with out going crazy in a couple of hours. Then I sprayed the hair spray that should make it stick. Then I went to my make up. I put on the foundation with a smudge of blush. I put on a thin line of black eye liner to bring out the violet in my eyes. I then put a smoky eye shadow. I put on some shinny lip gloss that makes my lips look even fuller then they are. I look in the mirror for a double check to make sure I didn't go over board. Nope perfect.

Me: "MARCO COME HERE PLEASE!" I yell at the top of my lungs to make sure Marco heard me calling him.

I could hear his foot steps outside my door.

Marco: "Wow honey did you really have scream?" He says it as he is entering the room.

Marco: "Oh my god honey you look great I tell you if I wasn't gay no if I wasn't with Damon you would turn me Bi!" He exclaimed like he meant it.

Me: "Really you think so? I don't look like a freak or anything? It's been awhile since I put on make up to impress anyone."

Marco: "Honey your drop dead gorgeous. I mean WOW. Seth is going to freak in a good way. He isn't going to be able to keep his hands off of you!"

I start to blush as I move towards my dress. Marco helps me get it on. I still have a hour and Seth hasn't even come up to start getting ready.

Me: "I am going to hide in your room till Seth gets in here to start getting ready then I will wait down stairs. Will you tell him to hurry up we only have a hour!"

Marco and I left my room and I went to Marco's room. Every room was like a studio. There was plenty of room for a living room and a bed room. The only thing these room's didn't have was a kitchen. I heard Seth shut our bedroom door and Marco came in showing me the coast was clear. I went down stairs to hear the same reaction that Marco had with Damon. Though he left out the turning him Bi part.

About 45 minutes latter we hear Seth coming down the stairs, I walk over towards the bottom of the stairs when Seth looked at me. He got a weird smile on his face, he must of been distracted cause he missed the step he was coming off of and fell down the rest of the way. It was only 4 steps but still I knew it hurt. He got up with his face beat red and dusted him self off.

Me: "Oh my God are you okay?"

Seth: "Me oh yeah that was nothing! You look just amazing! I mean WOW sweetie!"

Me: "Is it too much? I can always"

Seth: "Oh no it's perfect! I so can't wait to show you off!"

With that I gave Marco and Damon a hug and kiss on the cheeks and Seth and I went out the door. We took our Mustang tonight. It was a great night. We had the music blasting windows down. After we went to the restaurant we went to a local club that was supposed be the new sensation. In stead of waiting in the long line that took up 4 blocks we stopped at the entrance and walked to the bouncer. He took one look at me and let us in. There was a car valet who took our car to a safe place till we were done, we got the ticket from him. We also tipped him $20 to make sure the car was kept in great care. I slipped the bouncer $20 too because he was nice.

We dirty danced, slow danced and yes we even solo dance. We got to sit in a VIP section were it was set up like a lounge. It was great. No one famous was there but that was okay maybe another day. It was about midnight when I decided we needed to go home because I wanted to do a night cap with Seth. We made our way out and gave our ticket to the same Valet and he brought back our car. We gave him another $20 tip because he brought it back in the same condition we trusted him with. He was really happy asking us to come back again any time. We got in the car and took off.

Seth: "There is one more place I want to take you." He said with a sly grin on his face.

Me: "What? You didn't say this before. Were are we going Seth?" I loved and hated surprises.

He just shook his head and kept on driving. I felt like we were driving forever, then we were going up a huge hill when he pulled off to the side and stopped the car. He got out and came over to my side and opened the door for me. We walked for about a mile when he stopped.

Seth: "Look sweetie." He pointed out.

When I looked it was beautiful I had never seen this view in my life and it was breath taking. You could see the city's lights and cars moving below us. The stars where out bright and the moon was full. You could see everything. I was in awe I could stay up here forever.

Me: "My God Seth it's wonderful. How did you find it?" I asked not looking away from the view.

Seth: "Well my sweets I bought this land about a month ago for us. Here let me show you what I plan on doing with it."

I was shocked, and happy. As we walked around on the property he showed me where he was going put our house, were and how big the yard was going to be both the front and the back. Then he told me it was going to be a two story house with our room having this view. My eyes were filling as he was telling me this, I couldn't believe he would do this for me for us. We walked back to the car and started our way back to Marco's place. On our drive back we had a light conversation.

Me: "Do you want kids?" I asked him while we were at a red light.

Seth: "I never really thought of it, maybe in a couple of years but not any time soon. What about you?"

The light turned green and he started go.

Me: "Maybe one day after I get my head together."

Right then we seen headlights coming right towards me. I let out a scream and it slammed into the passenger door. The glass broke and my head slammed against something hard. The air bags came out and my face was smashed in to that. The car was flipped three times and landed on the top. I was going in and out of consciences. I looked over to see that Seth had blood all over the side of his face and wasn't awake. I tried to move my arm to him but the pain was too much I couldn't move my arm. I went into the darkness again. When I came too I seen flashes of red, white and blue. I couldn't hear anything as I tried to say something to Seth. I could taste metal in my mouth I knew there was blood in my mouth. I looked down to see that I was a pretzel. There was blood every where I looked. My head went back and I went back to the darkness. When I came to Seth wasn't in the car any more. I tried to scream for him but it was no good. I could barely hear the people outside, they were talking to me I think I looked out the broken window and seen a man standing there. Every time I tried to talk there was no sound. Maybe I wasn't talking and just thinking I was. The pain was too much I think I heard the man tell me that the jaws of life were on their way to hold on a little longer. But I wasn't sure. I blacked out again.

This time when I woke I was in a hospital. I started to panic as I sat up and looked around franticly. Marco was by my side.

Marco: "Calm down honey." He said trying to comfort me. He was rubbing my head gently and talking softly. "Do you know what happened? Do you know where you are?"

Me: "Seth and I were coming home when a truck hit us, oh my God is Seth okay? I'm in the hospital I know that but were is Seth." I started to panic.

Marco: "Calm down Seth is in another room. He is awake and doing good they are going to release him hopefully tomorrow. He only suffered a broken collar bone and fractured his head but other then that he is fine I promise. He is worried about you."

Me: "Oh thank God, I was waking up on and off and he wasn't awake. What about me, everything hurts Marco."

Marco took a deep breath. That when I knew the news wouldn't be too good but at least I was alive right?

Marco: "Well you have a broken arm, some broken ribs, and a broken leg. You suffered some internal bleeding as well. Over all you made it out lucky. Now there is some more bad news but I want to know do you want to hear it from me or the Doctor?" I looked sad, like he didn't know how to tell me. I just pointed at him.

Marco:" Well when the car hit you and the force from the car slammed your stomach into the seat belt causing some damage to your uterus. You only have about a 5% chance of becoming pregnant." He said this with sorrow in his face.

Me:" Your telling me that I will never have children now? Or that I have very slim chance of ever having child?" I was crying. Ironic how Seth and I were talking about it before the crash.

All Marco did was nod and hold me the best he could. I would be in the hospital at least a week before they would let me go. They wanted to make sure that my surgery went well and there are no other complications. Seth was released the next day. He came and sat with the me.

Seth:" I'm so sorry sweetie. I didn't see him before he hit us." He kept saying it over and over again.

Me:" It wasn't your fault. Did the driver of the other car make it?" Seth just nodded. " Well no one lost their life so that a good thing. Did Marco tell you my bad news?"

Seth: "That you only have a 5% chance of getting pregnant? Yes he did. I'm so sorry. Don't worry at least there is a chance might be small but it's still hope!"

That was Seth always looking for the good in things. I loved Seth but I wasn't ready to be committed to him. My head was still trying to cope with my child hood and now this. It wouldn't be fair to Seth if I went for him. I just had to find a way to tell him I wasn't ready without breaking his heart. As the days dragged by I seen all the guys, Will, and Matt stopped by to bring me candy and flowers and stuffed animals. Seth stayed with me the whole time, he never left my side. One day a nurse told him that he should leave and get some proper rest out of the hospital, man did she get a ear full from him. It was quite entertaining to hear him tell her off. Finally a week passed and the Doctor gave me the okay to go home. Marco had a limo waiting to take us home. I couldn't help but laugh at this. Who left a hospital in a limo? Well I guess I did. We all got in and the driver took us to Marco's home. Seth and I went to our room and Marco came in and nursed us back to health. It was a very long and pain full experience.

About seven weeks later we all were out of our casts. I was free to scratch at will. Oh man did it feel good to be free from those things. I was still ordered to take it easy since my internal wounds would still take time. Not to mention my emotional wounds. I talked to Seth on how I was feeling about us dating and everything. He understood, he didn't mind waiting as long as he had too. Seth started to work on the house that was on the hill. We decided to sell the other one because we didn't even stay in it. We just lived with Marco and Damon and they didn't mind. I am pretty sure if it was up to them we would never move out.

Seth and I went to back to hill that was now under construction for our house. The ground was leveled out already and it looked like the foundation was being laid out. They think it will be done in about 6 months or so. Give or take a couple of months. It was still a beautiful view. Though I did prefer it at night when there seemed to be more out there then during the day. It kept me happy knowing that Seth still wanted me and was willing to wait till I was in a good place to start our future. Marco and Damon had planed out a night for the next day. Seth had some work to do for the next couple of days. That would leave me alone tomorrow. The first time in a long time. I was looking forward to relaxing by myself. Have some me time to try and work out some of the "Demons" as my psychologist calls them.

That night Seth and I laid next to each other. I was rubbing his back. We started to mess around and some how ended up in a deep embrace naked. After we made out for awhile Seth took charge. He rolled me over so I was on my hands and knees. With his hard cock he drove it deep into my wet pussy. He put his fingers threw my hair and slightly pulled. He started fucking me harder and faster with every thrust. He grabbed my hair even harder as his climaxed. He reached his hand over to my clit and started to rub it. Within seconds I was climaxing and thrusting my hips back into his hard cock. With all the sensations I let out a moan as I slowly slid down on to my belly. Seth let go of my hair and rolled over next to me. After about 10 minutes we got up and hopped in the shower. Nothing like cleaning up together. We made our way back to bed where he held me till I fell asleep in his arms listening to his soft snores in my ear.

Today I was home alone. Marco and Damon went out for the day, and Seth needed to get some work done since he took off all the time to heal from the accident. I was in the office on Marco's computer when I seen a file called "Frank". I opened the file to see 10 different icons to click, I knew it was the stuff off of the drivers. I clicked to open the St one. The video player came up. There was Frank and my mother fucking each other. I skipped ahead. Who really wants to see their mother fucking Frank of all people? Then came to stop when I recognized my room. There I was sleeping on my bed. I was little I had to be 6 at the most. You could see light starting to come in and then it went dark again. Then I seen Frank get in the bed with the little me. I started to cry. Oh my god this was the first night he came into my room. I watched it unfold remember how I felt. I started to scream at the computer, begging Frank to leave this little girl alone. I just watched what he did to me. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. How did my mother get these disks? Did Frank give them to her so I would end up with them knowing how much pain he caused me? To watch it over and over again? I started to skip threw the sense. Each one was of him with me or my mother. Then it was over. I opened the next file. It started out the same then went to a hand held. It showed us all together out side the trailer happy, well except for me. I had a black eye and split lip, I had to be 6. Then it went to a car. I never seen the car before but inside the car was woman tied up in the back seat. It was my 1ST grade teacher Jessica Day. She was only 27. Then it cut off. When it came back up it was showing him beating her with a tire iron and raping her. There wasn't any sound but I could see the terror in her eyes and her mouth wide open as if she was silently screaming. Then she went limp and Frank continued to beat her, her chest wasn't moving she was dead. Oh my God Frank killed Jessica Day while raping her. The camera cut out, this time when it turned back on the camera was pointed and her body that was thrown in a ditch. The camera panned out showing where the body was then he pointed the camera to his face with a big smile that looked like he was satisfied.

I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I threw up 5 times before I started to dry heave. I sat on the floor in the bathroom crying. That was only the ND disk who knows how many more there were. How many other victims he had. I thought I was alone with being his only victim but I was wrong. I should have gone to the police a long time ago then maybe none of this would of happened. That woman didn't disserve any of what Frank did to her. I couldn't think clearly. I ran to my bathroom and opened up the cabinet under the sink. I reached in the far back to a black box. I threw it open and grab a razor out of it. I lifted my skirt to show my thigh. I dragged the razor across my thigh. I sliced 2 more then put away the razor. I grabbed my first aide kit and fixed my self up. I felt numb to everything. I walked back to the office and sat myself in front of Marco's computer again. I closed out of the windows then walked into the kitchen. I grabbed some water and drank about half the bottle. I went to my room and laid down on the bed. I curled up in a ball and fell asleep.

A while later I woke up to Seth sitting next to me on the bed trying to wake me up. He looked worried.

Me:" Hey" It sounded really dull. I could feel my happy place was long gone, replaced with numbness.

Seth: "Hey sweetie how are you doing? Why are you in bed asleep?" He was worried.

Me:" I seen what was on the first two flash drives." Could I sound any more dull?

Seth: " Why didn't you call us or wait for us to be here for you?" He sounded concerned now.

I just shrugged my shoulders and went back to sleep.

About 4 days had passed by and all I did was either sleep, or cut myself. I was in a blanket of numbness. All the guys tried to pull me out of it but I couldn't even talk to any one. It was my fault Jessica was beaten to death I was at fault and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't go see my psychologist and I didn't take my pills. I went down hill fast. I wasn't eating, when ever Marco brought me up food I just told him I wasn't hungry he tried. I did eat a salad but ended up throwing it up later because it made me feel like I was carrying a ton. Seth would let me sleep alone at night because I told him I didn't want to depress me. He tried he really did they all did but they couldn't understand all this guilt I had for this poor woman I killed. After about a week I decided that I wasn't worth the trouble I was. I decided to write a suicide letter and leave it for Seth to find. I actually ended up writing one for Seth, and Marco.

"My dearest Seth,

I just want to thank you for trying so hard on someone like me. I am a disgusting human being. I let Frank kill that one woman on the ND drive. If only I had went to the police about what he had done to me she would still be alive. It's all my fault. I don't know if their were any more women that he killed but if there was it was all my fault. I want you to know that I do love you? I wish I could be all that you disserve and be able to be with you. I really do wish that I could take back all the pain I am about to cause you but I can't take this guilt any longer. I hope you understand and I love you. I leave everything to you to be split with the others. I know you will be fair.

Love always,

Patience."

His was the easier one because he was stronger then my Marco. I had to of done Marco's letter 20 times before I decided that it was right.

"Marco

I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you. You and Damon were like my parents. The best anyone could hope for. I love you both more then you will ever know. Have Damon be your rock like he always is, and please take care of Seth like you did for me. I love you.

Patience."

I put their letters in a envelope and put their names on them. I walked into my bathroom and locked the door. I ran the bath water with warm water. I grabbed my blades and sat in the tub as it filled. When it was to my neck I turned off the water. I took the razor and as hard as I could I dragged it down my wrist, there was so much blood. I then dragged it across my wrist. A cross should do the trick. I then took the blade into my other hand and did the same thing to my other wrist. I tossed the blade out of the water an into sight so that way when they found me they wouldn't have to worry about cutting themselves. I watched the bath water turn pink then it went red. I started to feel tired, so I let my eyes close as I fell asleep.

I could hear yelling, and banging. I could barely open my eyes but I didn't need to I was still alone in my bathroom. Everything was fuzzy. I couldn't feel anything. It was nice no pain or anything. Then I heard a crashing sound. More shouting I couldn't understand what was going on. I was in a fuzzy daze. I didn't feel any pain or anything. I was lighter then a feather. I felt someone grab my arm, care full I thought my wrists are in bad shape, I don't think you can save me. Then I felt someone reach for me in the bathtub. Oh they are going to get blood every where I hope they don't make to big of a mess. I was laying on something semi soft but yet still hard. I was moving it was kind of bumpy. I think I hear a siren going off but I think it's in a tunnel. Someone is touching my head or rubbing my head. My eye lids are still to heavy to open. I drift back asleep.

Chapter 4

"My dearest Seth,

It's been about a month sense I came here. They have my mood swings under control, they are talking about a possible release from here. To be honest I'm kind of scared to leave here and come home. I have let you, Marco, and Damon down. I was not strong enough with out you guys. I wanted to die because I blamed myself for what happened to that woman. In reality it is not my fault it is Franks. No matter what I was thinking at that time I was in the wrong. I should have reached out and talked to you guys before thinking that ending my life was for the better. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you all. I know how you guys must feel. I could only imagine if it had been one of you that was found in a bath tub almost dead. I wouldn't be happy nor forgiving. I know you guys have tried to come and visit me but I decline to have visitors because of the guilt I feel for putting you through finding me. I am very thank full you guys did find me. It has made me realized that no matter the pain I hold inside taking my own life is not worth it. I couldn't bare leaving you guys in so much pain. I love you all very much and I hope you guys find it in your hearts to forgive me for what I have I done. I am going to ask you a favor while I am still in here. I would like it if you sent me copies of the drives so I may watch them while I am in here just in case I have another break down I will be in a safe place where they can monitor me. I have talked to the psychologist here and she agrees that it would be the best for me to watch them here. I am then going to take the flash drives down to the police station so they can try to find woman or women that Frank has abused and in form their family that the person who took their life is now dead. The way I am looking at things is I couldn't stop him from killing them but at least and can make their families feel better knowing that the bastard suffered for three days in a hospital bed and died. Thank you so much if you do this for me. If you decided to come visit I promise I will come see you. Please tell Marco that I am not ready to see him, I love Marco and I know he must be suffering a lot over this and I am not ready to face that guilt. Give the guys a hug for me cause I know you won't kiss them for me. I love you Seth and thank you for being my rock.

Always and forever,

Patience."

It's been a whole month since the night I tried to kill myself. Let me go back to when I first arrived here. After I woke in the hospital tied down to the bed with 40 stitches in each wrist and on some morphine for the pain they wouldn't let me go. They had first put me on a 72 hour watch since I had tried to kill myself. The numbness in my head went away and clarity washed over me. I knew I needed help and knew I couldn't go back home because I would try again in a matter of time. I agreed to come to the mental ward for 15 days. After about 15 days of not seeing improvement I decided that I needed to stay until I was stabilized and in a good place before I left. I signed on for a whole month to try and get stable. During my time here I have been taking multiple different medications that help with my sleeping problem and mood swings. I no longer have dreams because one of the medications is a dream suppressant and is working wonders. I am also taking mood stabilizers that are making me what they call "Normal" behavior. I have had ups and downs in here but for 3 days straight I have been stable. I haven't cut since I tried to kill myself. I talk to a psychologist 2 times a day and I am in 2 different group therapy classes. 1 of them is for people who have been abused, the other is for self harm. The same people who go to the self harm are also in the abused class. I mainly keep to myself and have started up sketching. I am not very good but it does help when I have urges to self harm. I know I am not better and will never be better but I am doing better. I will be on medications for the rest of my life.

While I was in my room doing some sketches I had a nurse come to my door telling me that I had a visitor. I put my book aside and followed the nurse. I hadn't been threw the visiting area before so this was all new to me. The nurse had me take a seat on couch and left me there alone. I sat there looking at all the paintings on the walls. I was looking at my bandage when the door opened. I took a deep breath and looked up. Tears started to flood my eyes. I stood up and ran over to him and just held him. He was holding me and we both were crying. We stayed hugging for several minutes till we finally went and sat next to each other on the couch.

Me: " I'm so happy you came to see me after all the times I turned you down before!" While whipping my tears away.

Seth: " Of course I would come to see you I love you silly! We have been so worried about you. Then I got your letter and was so over joy I just jumped in the car and came right over. I couldn't stand being away from you this long. Marco sends his love and he says he understands why you can't see him right now. How have you been doing? Do you know want to come home?"

Me: " I was worried you guys wouldn't want me around after what I did. I thought you guys would hate me for what I put you through. I wouldn't blame you, I didn't know if I stilled had a place with you guys." My eyes started to water again. Seth wrapped his arms around me and held me.

Seth: " You will always have a home were we are. We love and miss you. We are happy that you decided to stay in here to get better Patience. We are sad that we couldn't help you the way you needed before you tried to kill yourself. We know that it wasn't our fault nor yours for trying it."

I couldn't believe that after all this time I couldn't see that. It took Seth telling me that they were my family threw it all. That there is no doubt of love there, that yes I fucked up but it wasn't anyone's true fault that after all I had been through it just caught up with me and hard. I gave Seth a kiss because that is what I needed. I was ready to go home.

Me: " Well I will come home after I watch what else is on those tapes. I want to know what other horrible stuff he did. I know it won't be easy for me but I have to know. Then when I am ready I will leave here and go to the police like I said."

Seth:" Your a good person no matter what you think Patience." He handed me a 20GB flash drive. " Here is all the recordings of what he did on this flash drive. I will not lie to you there were more then just the one woman on the ND tape sweetie. An it only gets worse. I'm just thank full you were not one of those women. There are some tapes of you as well. All the way up to I think 2 weeks before you where kicked out. I'm sorry I just want to give you a heads up on what your about to wittiness."

I just nodded my head, I felt angry at Frank for what he did not only to me but who knows how many other women out there. Seth and I visited for 2 hours before someone came in and told us it was time to go.

Seth: "May I come back and see you in a couple of days sweetie?" He asked like I would tell him no.

Me: " Every other day you can come see me. Just to be warned if I deny you a visit it will be because I am not stable. I don't want you to see that side of me again."

He just nodded. We hugged each other again and gave 1 deep kiss before he was almost pushed out the door. I was taken back to my room were I sat on my bed looking at the flash drive. I had therapy in 10 minutes and I couldn't wait. I felt like the wind was taken out of me. I started to sweat, I was panicky I didn't know what was going on. I grabbed my flash drive and paced in front of the psychologist office. I couldn't sit still I had to talk to her now before my world fell apart. When my psychologist came out and seen my panic she ordered for someone to bring me a clozapine. After I took it I felt normal again. I was having a panic attack is what I found out later. I told my psychologist about my visit with Seth and how happy I was that he came to see me. I told her Seth gave me a flash drive with the videos on it and told her what Seth told me was on their. We set up a time today to use a computer so I could view them. I had got special privileges to a lap top so I could watch them in my room. I think that is because of what was on the tapes she didn't want anyone else to see either. I got a hour with the laptop tonight to start with, if needed I could use it longer then that. After talking to her I had about 30 minutes before group therapy. I was pretty excited. I went to my room and put the flash drive in my desk behind some paper. I then started to sketch again.

After group therapy a nurse handed me the laptop and walked me into my room were she shut the door. I sat on my bed with the laptop closed for a little while. I took the flash drive out and put in the laptop. I took a deep breath and turned it on. After the laptop came alive I searched for the flash drive on the computer. There it was. I doubled clicked and there were the 10 videos staring at me. I made a deal with my psychologist that if the files had me as a child not to watch them, I agreed happily with her on that one. I didn't need to watch him do that to me all over again. I just wanted to see what was on them. I already knew what was on the first two I moved the mouse over to the RD file. The first scene was my room again and I skipped over it, I didn't want to see it. Again the next one was my room. I could only imagine how many he had of me. Then the last scene was in the unknown car again. There was a woman sitting next to him in the passengers seat. I recognized her from when I was 8 or so years old. Her name was Sara Cox. She had been a clerk over at the 7-11 by my trailer. She was about 17 or so from what I remembered. I remember when the missing person flyer went up for her. They went to a hotel room where they had sex. From the looks of it they both wanted it. It cut out and she was in the back seat tied up. Her face was swollen and her cheeks where stained were she had been crying. He took her a remote place were he raped her and beat her with a stick. I felt my stomach turn as I remembered how sweet she was to me when I would show up at the store with a black eye and split lip. She would let me go behind the counter and give me free slurpys. And here she was on my computer and she slowly being beaten to death. He pulled a knife out of the car and started to rape her with it. I could see how much pain she was in. He took his time cutting chunks of her flesh off her body. He started with her stomach. Then he moved up to her breast. He removed her nipple with the knife then shoved it down her throat. He then cut off her ear and threw in the dirt then picked it back up and put it in her mouth. He moved over to her and did light stabbing in her back. She was bleeding profusely and throwing up. I think I even seen her piss her self. I wanted to reach in there and hold her to soothe her pain but I knew I couldn't. He finally ended it by slitting her throat. He kicked her body in a ditch, and that when I noticed the body of Jessica Day. She was my ST grade teacher, she was about 27 years old when I was 6. I let out a soft cry as I closed down the file.

The TH file was pretty much the same the last one the first two scenes were of me then yet another person. This is was different though. It was a little girl. I looked at her face and realized that it was Lacey Miller. Her and I were friends back when I was 9. We were the same age. We would play in the sand box together and hide when we knew I was in trouble. I told her everything that Frank did to me. She was always there for me. Then one day she disappeared and no one knew were she was. We all thought someone kidnapped her but we didn't know who, but now I did. It was Frank. I watched him take her limp body into a dark place and lay her on a bed. He tied her down. I then watched him rape her limp body. I was crying so hard. She was one of my best friends that disappeared. I seen the blood coming out of her vagina and her anus. I knew how she felt right then when Frank did the same thing to me. A little while latter Lacey woke up. She was crying and curled up in a ball as much as she could. I seen Frank come back in the room. The look on Lacey's face scared even me. I seen him hitting her with what looked like wrench. She was beaten pretty bad. He raped her again, this time he was rough with her like she didn't matter. He was hitting her all over body leaving busies all over her. He grabbed for a plastic bag and shoved it over her face. You could see her trying to fight him off but it wasn't working, her body went limp and moved the bag off her face. A few minutes later she woke up again screaming I could only imagine was coming out of her little mouth. He threw bag back over her face and she tried to fight him again. Her body went limp and he didn't remove the bag. A little bit later you see him put her lifeless body over his shoulder then walked away. They were at the ditch when he raped her dead body on the hood of the car. I grabbed my stomach and the trash can and threw up. I closed the file knowing that it was the same place Jessica and Sara's bodies were. Now lay 3 innocent females in a ditch murdered by Frank.

I opened the TH file. Started with him and my mother, then Frank and myself. Then the TH woman. I couldn't see her face. He had the camera from the looks of it over her head pointing down her body. It was a young body is about all I could tell. He was taking barbed wire and wrapping it around her body. He started at her feet and wrapped it up her leg. The blood was seeping out. He got to her hip and cut the wire and shoved the end into her hip. As if that was tying it off. He then went to the other leg and did the same thing. Her legs were so far apart and tied down that she couldn't even move. He then raped her. When he was done he had a dildo and it was wrapped in barbed wire. I closed my eyes knowing what he was about to do. When I opened my eyes he was in the middle of pulling out the barbed dildo. She was bleeding so bad and it looked bad. I then seen him throw the dildo off to the side and started to wrap barbed wire around her arms. He stuck the end into her hand all the way threw the other side then he wrapped it up to her shoulder. He did the same to the other arm. He then stuck some of the barbed wire in her belly button then he curved it down to her vagina and around her back. He fitted the barbed wire between her vagina lips. He had to untie one leg so he could stick the end into her spine. He then hoisted her body up and finished with just wrapping her whole body close together. There was so much blood. He moved the camera and started looking at her feet and moved up. It got to her face when I let out a soft scream. I covered my mouth. It was Brittany Fellows, she was my babysitter when I was 10. She was going to try and save me, she was only 18 years old. She had took me to her house and kept me there for 4 days until they found me. I never seen her again after that day. I figured she was fired and wasn't aloud to come over any more. I didn't even see a missing persons flyer for her. I skipped to the end to just make sure she was going to be with the other females. An yes she was. She was covered from head to toe in barbed wire. She couldn't even move I didn't even know if he killed her or just let her slowly die down there. I didn't want to know.

I stood up and walked around my room for a minute to gather my thoughts. Okay so far all the females he has killed knew me, and were nice to me. We have Jessica Day who was my teacher and was very kind to me. She let me go lay down in the back of the office and gave me attention and begged for me to let her help. Then there was Sara Cox who would let me hide behind the counter for hours. Lacey Miller my best friend when I was 9. Now Brittany Fellows my baby sitter when I was 10. He was killing women who cared about me. Oh my God why would he do this? Was he doing it so he would never be caught.

I clicked on the sixth file to see the first recording was of a woman and not just any woman Maddy Long. My counselor when I was 11. She was about 39 with 4 kids. I knew this wouldn't be good. She knew everything about Frank. She knew everything about me. She was in the same room he put Brittany in. She was tied down to the table. He moved over to her feet and had pliers in his hand. I grabbed her big toe nail and ripped it off slowly. I cringed when I seen it. You could see her body twitching in pain. He moved to the next toe and did the same thing. Removed all her toe nails then moved to her fingers. She tried to move her fingers but that seemed to only make that worse. He removed all her nails with his pliers. He then walked down to her legs and took a knife to her calf. He slowly cut off a chunk of her calf. He did the same to her other leg. He moved up to her stomach, she was chunky she wasn't thin like the rest of the others. He took out a different knife it looked sharper. He sliced into the bottom of her stomach and shoved the chunks of her calves in her. He then pulled out a staple gun and stapled her shut. He went up to her breast and once again removed both her nipples and fed them to her. The scene cut out and turned back on with him rapping her on top of his car by the ditch were the others were. He then took his knife and stabbed her in her skull. After that he threw her in the ditch with the other. He smiled at the camera and turned it off. Then next recordings were of me. I skipped over them.

I clicked on the seventh file. This time it started with me, then it went to a woman. I let out a soft cry because it was a nurse that was 46 years old with grandchildren. She held me for 3 days while I was in the hospital when I was around 12. Frank had just broken my ribs, my wrist and my face pretty good. The nurse wanted to call the police but I begged her not to. She did any ways and I talk to a officer name Pauline McKelty. She couldn't do much since I wouldn't say anything about what happened I liked her though she was sweet. There was Francine laying on the table that the others were on. He started with her head this time. He took a scalpel and started to cut where her hair line was. He then cut further up in her hairline and then just grabbed her hair and pulled off the rest he did it slowly only using the scalpel when it was getting to hard to pull. He scalped her. He then took the scalpel to her nipples and you guessed it feed them to her. I could see the fear in her eyes her mouth was moving I could only guess she was begging for her life. That only seemed to make him more dangerous. He got on top of her and raped her. He was using the scalpel to slice at her stomach. He was cutting her up really bad while he was raping as if saying the more you scream the more I get off. He then finished and got of her. He took the scalpel to her clit. He cut it off then he fed it to her. He took some needles and thread over to her vagina and sowed up her up. The scene cut out and came back at the same place as the rest. I knew it was coming to a end. He was raping her anus over the hood of the car. He then took the scalpel to her stomach and shoved it in then moved it up to her chest and shoved her in the ditch. He smiled at the camera.

I moved over to the TH file and the first scene is of Mrs. Millers house. It then showed him and her fighting. He hit her over the head with a rock. Mrs. Miller was Lacey's mother, she was 33 years old and was not in the best of shape after Lacey disappeared. I could tell that Mrs. Miller was his next victim, I seen in side her house and there was a picture of me when I was 13 with her and her dog. She had been helping me deal with Frank when I was 13 and would let me stay in Lacey's room when I came over. He hit her over the head with something. I'm not sure what it was. The scene cut out and when it came back the camera was on the trunk of the car and Mrs. Miller was chained to the bumper being dragged down a dirt road. She was bouncing all over the road till it came to a stop. She was still alive she was moving around. The car sped off again and dirt and rocks fling on to her body. She continued to bounce down the road for another mile when it stopped again. She wasn't moving I knew she was dead. You see Frank un chain her and remove the chains. Her lifeless body just sways around as he props her corpse on the trunk of the car and rapes her dead body. He threw her body in the car and the camera shut off. When I came back on it was a shot of all the bodies in the ditch. He moved the camera and smiled.

I had been watching these videos for over 2 hours and realized that no one had checked on me or if they did I didn't even see them. I felt like I needed some fresh air. I was feeling numb knowing that he killed 6 women and a little girl. I knew them all and they all had known what he was doing to me. He killed them for knowing too much. I decided to go for a walk. I closed the laptop and hid it under my bed. When I walked out I seen a nurse crying at her station. I couldn't help but wonder why this woman was crying. I walked over to her.

Me:" Are you okay Ma'am?" I asked really worried.

Nurse:" I went to check on you to see how you were doing and I saw on the laptop and saw my sister Brittany who went missing several years ago." She started to cry uncontrollably.

I went in close to her and held her and started to cry with her. I told her about the man who did it and that he suffered for 3 days while bleeding internally and that I was truly sorry the man did that to her sister. The woman was excused to leave work about 3 minutes after I told her the man died. I felt so much guilt that I just wanted to die. I ran to my psychologist door and started knocking. Luckily she wasn't busy and seen my face. She let me come in and I told her about the 6 woman and 1 child that Frank killed and then I told her one of the victims sisters was working here and seen her sisters death. I told her I didn't see the nurse check in on me that I was sorry for the pain I caused her. After about a hour of talking the psychologist gave me some medication and sent me back to my room were I ended up falling asleep.

A couple of hours went by when I woke up to it being dark out side. I decided that I only had 2 more files to watch. I took a deep breath reached under my bed and pulled out the laptop. I turned it on and opened the TH file. The scene started with me getting dressed I was 14 years old. I skipped the scene and moved on to the next, same thing with me. Then the finally scene came on. It was mother with Frank and her best friend Jacqueline Smith. They were in the trailer and they were fighting. I don't know what they were fighting but it wasn't good. I seen my mother get up and start beating the shit out of Jacky. Then Frank came over and picked her up and the camera went off. They were at the table that he took all the other women. He was raping her and the camera was moving around them. It was so different from the other scenes. Then he was done and he took the camera. Then I see my Mother hovering over Jacky's body. My mother had the barbwire dildo in her hand and started to thrust it in her. It was brutal the way she was shoving it in her vagina. There was blood every were and mother wasn't letting up. Then I seen my mother start to hit Jacky with the barbed dildo. On her face, her stomach and her feet. Then she threw the dildo down and her and frank started fucking each other while Jacky laid on the table. After they were done my Mother took Frank's knife and started stabbing Jacky over and over again. I lost count after 20. Jacky's body laid lifeless and Frank raped her again. The camera cut off. When it came back on Frank and my mother threw her body into the ditch with the others. The camera went to both their faces and they both smiled.

I grabbed my stomach and threw up over and over until I was just dry heaving. My mother knew what Frank had done and she helped him. She knew. She killed her best friend Jacqueline and liked it. She watched Frank rape her friend two times and didn't care. What did that make my mother? What did that make me? I felt sick to my stomach as I continued to dry heave in the trash can. She even raped her friend. What kind of people where they? Would I turn out like them? Would I ever torture and kill someone? Could I? I looked out my little window and seen the sun coming up. That took be by surprise. Just then someone opened my door. I threw a blanket over the laptop and went to the door. It was a nurse coming to check on me. I found out that my psychologist wouldn't be in for a couple of hours. I followed her out to the lounge. I needed a minute to think about what I was seeing. I needed to get something in my stomach. I hurt so much from dry heaving. My heart was aching for my lost friends that cared. There was nothing I could do to bring them back. The TV was on but I wasn't watching it. I couldn't watch it. I was to busy trying to figure out how people could do what I just seen. I took a deep breath after I realized the nurse was trying to talk to me. I took the pills the nurse handed me and asked if she could help. I told her that Frank and my Mother were monsters that they had murdered so far 7 women and a child. I didn't dare tell her names or details. I told her they were all my friends and that I felt like it was my fault. She just gave me a hug and told me that she had no idea what she could say to make it feel better or to make it better. She brought me some hot coco and I drank it. It stung going down my throat but felt good on my stomach. My psychologist came into the office and walked me back to my room. She told me that I should watch the last file and then come see her. I nodded my head and sat down on my bed and pulled the blanket off the laptop.

As I opened the last file I took a deep breath. The first two scenes were of me when I was 15 and it was the last time he raped me. I took a deep breath as I seen a woman that I knew that was going to file charges against Frank. She was 35 years old and was a cop. Her name was Pauline McKelty. She was his last victim. I took a deep breath as I watched him tie her to the table, I am pretty sure my Mother was filming because the camera was on the move. After she was tied down, he raped her. He took out the barbed wire and started down at her feet. He stabbed one end in the bottom of her foot then started wrapping it up her leg, when he got to her him he stabbed the other end next to her hip. He did the same thing to her other leg. He then expanded her legs apart while he sat in between her legs. Someone handed him the barbed dildo and as he raped her with it. He then took a needle and thread out and stitched her vagina lips closed. He then moved up to her breasts and cut off her nipples and shoved them in her mouth. He went over to her hands and took his pliers and ripped off her finger nails. He took some more barbed wire and shoved one end her hand all the way threw, then wrapped it around her arm up to the shoulder. He then stabbed the other end in her collar bone. He did the same thing to her other arm. He then got out a small torch and turned it on. He went to her stomach were he started to burn her flesh. It was melting. It blistered up and melted away. He then went to her face and turned the torch to her eye. Her eye was melted into the socket. He then took a knife and went to her stomach. He cut away part of the flesh that was raw and shoved it in her mouth. He then took the camera and angled it on my Mother. She grabbed the pliers off the table and walked to Pauline's face. She opened her mouth and my mother grabbed a tooth and pulled it out. There was blood filling her mouth. My mother did it again to another tooth. I watched as my mother pulled out all her teeth with pliers. I reached for the garbage and threw up the hot chocolate, it felt better coming up then dry heaving. When I looked at the screen Frank and my Mother were tying her to the back of the car. I seen Frank get in the car and I knew my mother was on the trunk with the camera. Pauline was wiggling around moving as her body was being dragged behind the car. You could see her head bouncing off the gravel road. It wasn't the dirt road like last time. You could see a trail of blood that followed her. She was still bouncing around when it turned into a dirt road. Her body was being slowly dragged behind the car. The car came to stop as the camera moved in closer. She was alive but barely. The camera goes back to the trunk and the car starts to move again. It goes down the road for about 5 miles when it stops. She's still alive. They pull her up to the car where my Mother kicks her in the stomach. Frank makes a deep cut in her arm next to some of the barbed wire and my Mother copies him they pick her up. My mother holding her by the hands, the barb wire has been moved out of the hand. Same with the feet as Frank holds her feet. They swing her body 3 times and her body goes flying down the ditch, they watch her land on top of the others. The camera looks all around then to them. They are both smiling. Then the scene ends.

I stare at the both of them with their smiles. It looked like they were both just so happy and peace full but they just killed 8 Women and 1 Child for God's sake. What did they have to be happy about? They weren't caught that why. They got rid of everyone who would told. Except for me. All but me. I couldn't tell if I should be happy they spared my life or if I should be pissed off they didn't just kill me and throw me with the rest of them. My mother did try to kill me the night I was kicked out. Maybe that's why she left these for me. To know that since I was alive, I was the reason all these lady were dead. I felt the guilt. I felt the pain. I took out the flash drive and shut down the computer. I hid the drive in my desk. I picked up the laptop and went to see my psychologist. I needed to tell her what I knew I needed to let it out. I was holding it all in again, and I knew if I did that I would do something stupid again.

When I was seeing my psychologist I broke down. I mean really broke down. I was crying I was throwing up I lost all control I let everything out. I told her about Jessica, Sara, Lacey, Maddy, Francine, Mrs. Miller, Pauline, Jacqueline. I then told her about what happened with the nurse who walked in to check on me how Brittany was her sister. She seen the way her own little sister was murdered, raped and tortured. I felt so fucking guilty that I hadn't heard the door that I didn't sit were someone wouldn't see the computer. I felt like all there deaths were my fault I felt like I should have let my Mother kill me that night. I have to deal with all this guilt for the rest of my life like I am the one the killed them. I cried for hours I talked for hours. My psychologist didn't really say anything she was just listening and holding me. After I was done with my break down she told me that she has never heard of anything like this in her years as a psychologist. She then told me I probably needed some sleep since I only got a few hours. She gave me some medications and walked me back to my room. She tucked me in and left. As I laid there I was crying. I was crying for all of the lives that had been lost because I had gotten close to them and they cared about me.

When I woke up the next day a nurse had a small cup of pills and a bottle of water. I took the pills and thanked her. She told me I had a visitor. I forgot Seth was coming today. I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed yet. I told her that I did not want to see him today but to tell him I love him and that I would write when I was ready. I decided I needed to stay in the hospital longer. I was in no condition to see anyone nor to go home. I was feeling so guilty that I was reason everyone died. I went into a dark place for a while. After about a month the nurse that was Brittany's sister came back to work. I couldn't even look at her. I seen her talking to the psychologist one day then she left. I couldn't blame her she blamed me for her sister's death as well. I slept most of the time. I couldn't even look at myself with out wanting to hurt myself. I didn't disserve to still be alive.

The next morning I woke up to Brittany's sister sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. I sat up really quick and moved away. She looked at me and let some tears fall.

Nurse: " Oh Patience I'm not going to hurt you! Did you know my sister Brittany?" I just nodded.

Nurse: " Did she ever talk about me? How did you know her?" Her tears were falling even more.

Me: " She was my babysitter when I was 10. Are you Blakley? She talked about her sister Blakley the most, saying how she was in school to be a nurse and that she looked up to you and hope to become a nurse like her." She put her hands in her face.

Blakley: " Yeah that me. She was my baby sister. When I came to check on you I seen her on your computer. At first I was happy then I seen what was happening to her. I didn't understand why someone would do that to her. Then I thought it was your fault that you had something to do with her murder. When I came back to work the Psychologist pulled me inside and talked to me. She told me all about what was in the flash drive. She told me about how you were abused by the man that murdered my sister. My heart went out to you. Then I found out that no matter who got close to you or tried to help you the same man murdered them. That he killed them for fear of being found out. Then I found out all the pain you have towards your self. That you blame your self for everything. I went home and thought about this. I talked to my family about it. I want you to know that it is not your fault what happened to my sister and the others. They were good people with kind hearts trying to help a little girl that needed to be protected and loved. I am sure that if they were asked if they would still try to help you with the same out come they would do it again but try harder to get you help. Do you understand what I am saying to you? It's not your fault any of them were killed. I am sure you would do the same thing."

Me: " When I was watching those files I wanted to be there for them. I wanted to hold them, I wanted to thank them for trying. I wanted to tell them I was sorry they got hurt the way they did. They never should of been murdered or anything. I wanted to hold them like they did for me. I am so sorry Blakley I'm so sorry, I don't disserve for you to or anyone to forgive me for even talking to them and getting them killed."

Blakley: " It's not your fault you need to see that Patience. You didn't kill them Frank killed them not you. You were trying to find your own protection as they were trying to offer you protection. Frank made sure you felt alone that you would think it was all your fault to be honest he is the only one to blame for this. He abused you and he used you to get to other people. Yes they were close to you but he did it to lift himself. Do you understand what I am saying?"

I nodded. She gave me a hug and left me to think about what she said. I curled back into bed and fell asleep again. A week had passed, I was like a zombie. I got up I took my pills I went to therapy, I ate, then slept. I wasn't doing anything I was just following the schedule I was on. My psychologist couldn't reach me in my daze. I couldn't stand this pain. I couldn't stand the guilt of being the reason these women where killed. Not just killed but brutally murdered. Was on suicide watch and wasn't aloud to be alone except in my room when I was asleep. If I wanted to sketch I had to be out were everyone could see me cause I would be able to kill myself on the pencils. After about a month going around in the dark I snapped out of it for a little while. One day while I was talking to psychologist she suggested that I talk to someone else that dealt more with guilt of horrible things. I agreed what other choice did I have? I didn't I was at their mercy now. I couldn't check out even if I wanted to. The next day they brought in someone for me to talk to. While I was talking the new psychologist. I told him about everything and how I was feeling. He just listened and didn't say to much. It was like the next time I saw him. Then finally on the RD day he was the one talking. He was talking about how his own mother was murdered in front of him protecting him from his father and how he blamed himself. I could see that we had something in common. I seen myself trying to tell him it wasn't his fault because his mother was protecting him that it was his fathers choice to kill her. Then it hit me. Just like that. The murders of them were in fact not my fault it was Franks. Yes I knew them yes they were my friends but it wasn't me that wanted them dead it was Frank and my mother. I couldn't believe it. I told him what I thought. And he agreed with me that it wasn't my fault at all. That in fact I would of sacrificed myself if I would have known what he was doing before he killed them. It was true they were murdered for trying to protect me and if I had gotten the option I would of done the same for all of them. Yes I still had pang but at the same time I felt happy I was still alive. I could go on and tell their stories of how they died honorably for trying to protect a little girl. We had one more session before he left, and I couldn't' stop thanking him for showing me the light at the end of my dark road.

The next day when I talked to my normal psychologist she noticed my new lean on life. She was proud she brought him in to help me. I was there for another week when I decided that it was time for me to go home. I got the okay a couple of days latter. That when I decided I was ready to see Seth.

" My dearest Seth,

I am sorry for not seeing you the last time you were here but I went in a dark place, but I'm better now. I have a new lean on life. All the women they killed were friends of mine that gave their life to save a child like me. I want to show the world that there is something to look forward to, that their life's were honorable that they died for something good. I am finally seeing the light. I would like you come visit me on Friday. Can you please come see me? Can you also bring the original flash drives with you? I will be waiting for you. I love you.

Always Patience"

Latter that day I had it all arranged for my check out this Friday. All the paper work was filled out and signed. I spent the next 4 days getting ready to leave. I even helped out with some more with the psychologist. We set up for the surprise going home with Seth. Everyone knew that he wouldn't know I was coming home. I spent over 3 months in the hospital and I was ready to see everyone. The psychologist made me promise I would check in 3 times a week for a month then we would see where that left me and go from there. It was the night before I was to leave, I got all the medication I needed for a month till my next refill. I had everything ready. The nurses gave me a extra sleeping pill cause I was so excited. When I finally went to sleep I had no dreams and I sleep very deep. When I woke in the morning I my pills and breakfast, my last appointment with my psychologist while I was in the hospital then it was time for my visit. We hid my bags in the visiting room then she went to get Seth. About 5 minutes later Seth walked in the door. I ran to him and gave him a hug and a kiss. I was so excited to see him and to know that I would be able to go home with him.

Me: "Hey Seth, how is every body?"

Seth:" All great now that they know you are doing better and letting me see you!"

Me:" How's Marco is he waiting for you to come home to tell him all about your visit with me?" I could barely contain myself.

Seth: "You know Marco better then Marco knows himself he was crying over all the details from the other day. He can't wait till you let him see you."

Me: "Oh really? I'm ready to come home. Do you mind giving me a ride?" I asked and I was bursting with joy.

Seth" Really? You want to come home? Can you just leave like that?"

Me:" It's already done. I signed the paper work last night. I just have to come here 3 times a week to see my psychologist." I showed him my bags.

We grabbed my bags and walked out to the car. I told him about what happened after I watched the files. I told him all their names. I explained to him why I went in a dark place for a long time, how I got out, and how I am feeling now about the murders. That now I felt like I had a purpose in my life since they all were murdered. I told him I was ready to go to the police about the files. He agreed and drove us to the police station.

As we walked up to the police station I started to have a panic attack I told Seth that he needed to run to the car and grab my medications for it. I sat down in front of the doors and waited for Seth to return. When got to me I was shaking so bad that he had to put the pill in my mouth and hold the water bottle for me so I could I take it. We sat for about 10 minutes while I explained to him what was going on. He just held me as I calmed down. After that we went in the station. I walked over to the Missing person's wall and grabbed the 9 women posters off the wall and walked to desk. I set them down on the counter.

Me" Sir I know what happened to these 8 women and 1 child and I am ready to tell who ever is in charge of these cases. These 8 women and 1 child were beaten, raped and murdered and through in in a ditch."

Officer:" Excuse me? Are you saying you know this how?"

Me:" Well since I was about 5 years old my step father abused me and about a year ago he died. My mother left some stuff for me and this" I placed the flash drives on the counter" is the proof of what he did to me and those 8 women and 1 child." He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was I just left the mental hospital after all. He had us take a seat on some benches and took the flash drives over to another man.

We sat there for about 10 minutes before he came back and another officer called us into his office. I explained in more detail how I got the files, and everything I knew. . I told him about how I was connected with Jessica Day, Sara Cox, Lacey Miller, Brittany Fellows, Maddy Long, Francine Napper, Mrs. Miller, Jacqueline Smith, and Pauline McKelty. He thanked us and gave me a hug for my bravery. We left about a hour later. I felt even better knowing now that hopefully they could figure out where the bodies were and the family could have some peace knowing that the man who murdered them was dead and wouldn't hurt anyone again.

As we pulled on to Marco's street I seen him standing in the drive way waiting for Seth. He hadn't seen me yet. I was so nervous and excited to see him. I ducked down so Marco wouldn't see me at first, Seth was laughing so hard when I did this. Seth told me to stay in the car and he would have Marco get something out of the driver seat then I could greet Marco. I agreed. I felt the car stop and Seth got out and shut the door.

Marco: " Well don't' keep me waiting how is she? Does she want to see me yet? Tell me the details Seth!" He was begging. I felt so bad for ignoring Marco all this time, a little guilt flooded my heart.

Seth: " In a minute Marco can you grab my laptop out of the car while I get some groceries out of the trunk?" He was already opening the trunk while he was saying this.

Marco: " Yeah I guess." I heard the someone opening my door when I flung it open and grabbed Marco in a big bear hug.

Marco: " OH MY GOD PATIENCE!" He was squealing and so was I. We were holding each other and jumping up and down. We were both crying like babies.

Marco: " Seth how long have you known she was coming home?"

Seth: " Just found out when I went to visit her! She surprised me."

Me:" I watched the files and a strange sense of relief filled me I can't explain it, well the drugs help the most." I started to laugh. They joined in. Then the front door opened and there was Will, Matt, and Damon standing there looking at me like they couldn't believe I was there. I let go of Marco and ran to the guys. We all gave each other big hugs and cries. No one knew I was coming home but Seth and myself. An here they were. I didn't know every guy came here to see how I was doing from Seth it was so sweet to have family that loved me even though I tried to end my life. I tried not to think of the 9 women that Frank killed because I know what that would do to me. These women died because of me because they cared about me, but I wasn't the one who killed them Frank did it.

After we all ate dinner and celebrated my return home, Will and Matt took off. Will was disappointed that I turned him down for a movie and a fuck but to be honest I only wanted to be with Seth now. Will and Matt weren't as close to me when I needed someone, don't get me wrong they were more like brothers now that had their own life that didn't have to do with me. Marco, Damon, Seth and I all sat down to talk about what had happened. They told me what I didn't know happened.

Marco and Damon got home before Seth but only by like 30 minutes. Marco was making me something to eat when Seth got home. Seth was the one who noticed the envelopes on the bed. When he opened his he knew right away it was a suicide note, he yelled for Marco who came running. Seth and Damon had to break down the bathroom door and Marco was calling 911. Seth and Damon drained the water and put the razor up on the counter. Seth was the one who had picked me up out of the bath tub. He was holding me till the ambulance arrived. Marco was in there putting towels around my wrists and keeping my arms above my heart and putting pressure to the wounds. Marco was rubbing my head while we took the ambulance over to the hospital and helped to stitch my wrists. I had lost so much blood that I needed a blood transfusion. Luckily Marco and Seth matched my type they each gave me pint of their blood to save my life. I felt so bad for trying to leave these guys. I couldn't stop saying sorry. I took my pills and got ready for bed. When I went up to my room I noticed that they had replaced the door and the bathtub. They didn't want the tub any more and thought it would be better to get me top of the line bathtub. I decided I wanted a bath. I wasn't aloud baths at the hospital cause I could try to drown myself. I was letting the water fill up in my Jacuzzi bath when I wondered if they had found my cutting stuff. I didn't want them any more I wanted to get rid of them, I walked over to the sink and opened the cabinet. There it was my box of bad things. I heard Seth come in the room.

Me:" Hey Seth can you come do me a favor?" I said it pretty loud so he would hear me. He came into the bathroom and looked at me.

Seth: " Sure anything for you sweetie."

I handed him my box.

Me:" Will you take this and throw it away? I don't ever want to see it again. I don't want to go back to who I was."

He just walked out of the room didn't ask me any questions and didn't even look in side. I knew him though he would look when he was down stairs. I turned off the water and got in the bath. I turned on the jets and relaxed. I don't know how long I was in there cause I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up I was in bed. I rolled over and Seth was next to me.

Seth: " Hey sweetie how did you sleep?"

Me:" How did I get to bed? Oh man I fell asleep in there that not good."

Seth: " After I threw away the box I came up stairs to hop in the bath with you but you were out. I drained the water and dried you the best I could then brought you to bed with me. I held you all night long and just woke up myself. I am so happy your home."

I smiled at him and curled up next to him. I heard the phone ring but I didn't want to get up to answer it I knew Marco or Damon would and 3 rings later one of them picked it up. I ended up falling asleep again. When I woke up my night stand had a note, a glass of water and my morning pills. I took my pills and then grabbed the note.

" Hey sweetie, we are down stairs waiting for you. We have something we need to talk about, so when your ready come on down. Love you"

I stretched out and rolled off the bed. I went to the bath room and realized I was naked. I little out a small giggle as I washed my face. I brushed out my hair and put it in a pony tail. I walked over to my dresser and found a cute pair of panties. I had to dig to find the matching bra. After I slipped those on I went to my closet. I pulled on some tight fitting jeans and found a shirt that showed off my tits. I then decided I was ready. I slipped on my flip flops and headed down stairs. As I walked in the kitchen I could feel something bad in the air. I walked over and sat next to Seth.

Marco: " Honey we have some bad news for you." He let the words come out with a shaky voice.

Damon: " Would like to hear the news now or should you eat first?"

Me: " I think I should eat because if it is bad news I will lose my appetite and I am starving right now."

Seth got up and brought me some pancakes, eggs, and some bacon. I scarified it down so fast, I really missed Marco's food. After I was done I got up and washed my plate and sat back down next to Seth.

Me: " Okay I'm ready. How bad is the news?" Seth grabbed my hand and took a deep breath. So did Marco.

Marco: " Honey it's really bad. Last night after Will and Matt left there was a accident. They lost control of the car and slammed into a tree. Will died on impact and Matt is serious condition at the hospital and it doesn't look good." He started to cry again. Big wet tears started streaming down my face.

Me: " Can I go see him?" I was shaking and crying I felt like I wanted the numbness to come back.

Seth: " No one is aloud to see him right now, not even his dad is. Only the Doctors and the nurses are aloud in there. Sweetie."

Me:" I need to go lay down, I'm not feeling well. Seth I think you need to stay close to me I feel like I am slipping."

We walked up the stairs when I realized that I was supposed to met with my psychologist today. That is what I needed right now. I stopped in my tracks.

Me: " What time is my appointment with my psychologist?"

Seth: " Oh in a hour I think. Would you like me to cancel it?"

Me: " No we need to go now though, it is the best thing for me right now, I can't fall into a slumber right now."

He headed out the door as Seth told Marco what we were doing. After we left all I did was cry. We made it to the hospital were I told Seth that I would text him when it was time to get me. I ran up the stairs and into the office. They knew who I was and started to greet me when they seen me crying. They got me into my psychologist office within 5 minutes of me showing up. As I was talking to my psychologist and explaining what was going on with Matt and the Will had died and that Matt was looking like he was going to die as well. My psychologist asked me if I needed to be put back in the hospital. I thought about it for a 30 minutes before deciding that I didn't need to come back I just needed to let out these feelings of guilt because if they hadn't come to see me they wouldn't of been in the car crash. She told me it was normal if I was sad and that I felt guilty for it. It made me feel better. After about 2 hours of talking and letting out my emotions I was okay to go home. She told me that she would like to talk to Seth when he got here. After I text Seth and told him I was ready and that my psychologist would like to talk to him I waited for him in her office. We made small chat when Seth came into the room. She explained to him the signs of suicide and that if I looked like I was ready to break down to bring me in and check me in the hospital. He agreed and so did I. I knew Marco and Seth would be watching me like a hawk.

A week latter Matt had in deed passed away. I felt a horrible sadness for the loss of my two friends. We went to their funerals a week later and buried our dear friends. Their service was beautiful. Everyone was there, Matt's dad and his new wife. Wills whole family was there as well. We all met at their old place that I gave Matt. We had so much food that everyone was stuffed full. The families talked about the boys when they were growing up and how what they loved about life. I didn't through in there that Will love sex with a lot of different women. Then they got to business about the properties. I told them that I would continue to pay the same as I did for both. They all thanked me. I gave everyone a hug as I decided that it was time for me to go home. Seth, Marco and Damon all joined me and we drove off in our car.

After about a week I felt normal for the most part. I went out to get the mail. I walked out side and down the drive way to the mail box. The mail box was stuffed full of stuff. I walked back to the house. I went straight for the kitchen and started to sort mail. Marco, Marco, junk, Seth, Seth, Damon, Me, Me, Me, Me, junk, junk, Damon and me. Mostly all bills for me. I ripped them open then went to my computer to pay them all online. After that I went in the kitchen to get something to eat. Seth walked in.

Seth:" Hey Sweetie how are you doing? Oh you got the mail. Anything good?"

I shook my head.

Seth: " Hey this is for you not me."

I turned around and took the mail. he was right it was for me. I looked at the top left corner to see who it was from. It couldn't be. I had Seth look at it to tell me if I was reading it correctly. He agreed I was, it was a letter from the private investigators office. It was thicker then the last 10 letters that said they couldn't find my Father. This letter was different.

Chapter 5

It has been about two months since I got the letter from the Detectives office. I was right it was different. In side the envelope was information on my Father Aaron and his wife. They lived in Texas they had his address, phone number and his daily schedule that didn't vary much. There was also some pictures of there of him and his wife. His wife was beautiful and he hadn't aged that much. I decided to write him first. We now have been writing and talking on the phone with each other. We have plans to see each other in about two weeks. I am going to be flying down to Texas to them because of his wife's family not doing well. I might even consider buying a little place down there so that way I have a place to go when I am there, and let them live there while I am not in town. He told me the neighbors next to his Wife's parents home was for sale so I might just buy that one. Pay a little extra so that way they will get out that day. Who knows. So Anyways back to how my life has been for two months. Seth and I went on another date in fact we have sealed the deal and are officially going out. We go to the cemetery two times a month to talk to Will and Damon. I miss them so much. I hear from both of their family all the time considering how I let them keep the houses and still pay for it all. They are doing pretty good though they have their ups and downs. I am still on my medications and I am actually doing well. You could even say I am normal well mentally wise. I am not too sure about anything else. The house Seth was building for me is near completion maybe a month left on it or so. Other then that we have just been enjoying the days we have together. Marco is enjoying cooking a lot since he no longer needs to work cause I take care of him. Damon and I are owners of a car shop. Well I put the money in it for Damon to work on cars with his own hours. He is never in the office except when there is a car that needs to be fixed. He is really good with cars. Marco is trying to talk me into letting him open a restaurant for him. I think I should cause he is just wasting food here. Then their was me. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I didn't want the business Frank started I wanted my own. Seth liked running that business so I pretty much gave it to him. I just liked the income from it. Though I know if I didn't have any income Seth would still take care of me.

"I was laying in bed almost asleep when my door cracked open. I could see Frank staggering in. He shut the door. I laid their frozen I was in my tank top and panties like most night during the hot summer. He came and laid next to me. He forced me on my back.

Me: " Please not to night Daddy Frank. I am tired and just want to sleep"

Frank: " I don't care I need your loving care."

He ripped off my panties they were my favorite pair they had the blue care bears on them. I could feel the pain of the elastic from them give way on my lower back. He didn't waste any time and climbed on top of me. I felt something hard between my legs creep up to private parts. I remembered in school talking to Maddy the school counselor that it wasn't okay for any one to touch my private parts.

Me: " Daddy Frank my teacher says that if I say no then you have to stop, that those are my private parts that I have control over." He stopped for a minute and looked me straight in the eye.

Frank: " Oh yeah who might of that been? Did you tell her the special way we love each other?" I just nodded and told him it was my counselor Maddy Long.

He slammed his hardness in side my vagina. I let out a scream. It hurt so bad I could feel the sheets under me getting wet from my blood.

Frank: " You don't love me any more. This is how I am now going to punish you. This is what happens when little girls don't listen to Daddy Frank."

He kept shoving his penis in side me going faster and harder. Then he hit me. So hard I don't remember anything but darkness. When I awoke Frank was gone I was alone."

I woke up in a cold sweat. Next to me was Seth and it was only 3:00AM. I got up and went to the bathroom and grabbed my sleeping pills and took one. I hope these pills will take those dreams away again. I couldn't stand the nightmares. I crawled back into bed and woke Seth.

Seth: " Is everything okay sweetie?"

Me: " Yes as long as you hold me tonight."

He rolled over and cuddled me in his arms. I fell asleep shortly after that. When I woke up I decided that I wanted to help Marco get a restaurant. Seth was still asleep, he had the next two months off. I liked that idea. I got out of bed went to my closet to figure out what I wanted to wear today. I decided on a nice low cut blue shirt, and some hip hugger jeans. I then put on my flip flops and went down stairs. There was Marco cooking me breakfast, it was the perfect time to tell him that we needed to get a restaurant.

Me: " Hey Marco you need to stop cooking and come here with some of that food." He walked over with a plate full of food for him and my self.

Marco: " Okay I'll stop for now and eat with you. How did you sleep?"

Me:" I had a nightmare again, I need to start remembering to take those sleeping pills so I don't have any."

Marco: " I can make you up a container for your pills a AM and a PM so that way you will always know when to take them."

Me: " You always take such good care of me, I say why don't we go looking for a place to put a restaurant up?" He was so excited he was jumping up and down.

Marco: " Yeah let me go get dressed and tell Damon what we are doing. I love you honey." He ran over and gave me a hug.

I finished breakfast, and went up stairs to wake Seth. He wasn't in bed but I could hear the shower. I opened the door to see him doing kind of a little dance as he washed his body. I couldn't help but giggle. I walked in the bathroom and peeked my head into the shower. He looked at me with a huge smile.

Seth: " Hey beautiful you get some good breakfast from Marco? Did he leave any for me?"

Me: " Yeah in fact we are going out to see about getting him a restaurant soon. I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't be worried when you could find us."

Seth: " Okay I love you." He leaned over and gave me a wet kiss and went back to dancing in the shower.

I walked down stairs and waited for Marco. He took longer then I did when it came to getting ready. He was so picky about everything. About five minutes later he came running down the stairs.

Marco: " Okay so down town first to see if there is anything we want!" I laughed and we walked out to the garage and got in to my car. We went down town and parked in a parking garage and started to walk around. Right in the heart of it there was a empty place that used to be a restaurant. The closet one to this one was two blocks away. Marco called the number on the window and asked if someone would come open the doors so we could look inside. We had about a hour before someone could make so we went down to the other restaurant to see what type of food they had to offer. It was just a American restaurant didn't look all that good to me. Marco was going with home cooked meals with love. I loved his food better then any restaurant I had ever been or even better then any one I knew. He already had a menu and was perfecting it in our kitchen. I didn't complain to much cause we had plenty of food the only thing is though we couldn't eat it fast enough before it went bad.

We walked around the shops and bought some stuff. We didn't go over board because we knew we had business to tend to in five minutes. So we walked back to the empty place and waited. Right on time someone came and let us in.

Realtor: " My name is Sally. Okay so this place used to be "Sandy's restaurant and bar". They didn't do to well and had to shut down. As you know this is a great location, you can take out everything and start over as a store or you can keep it the way it is and open a restaurant, I will tell you restaurants don't do to well cause of the one down the street. They have the best hamburgers in town."

Me: " How much is it a month to rent it?"

Sally: " It is $1500 a month to rent it."

Marco: " That's it? Really?"

Sally: " Yes. What are you planning on opening?"

Me: " Its a surprise to everyone. Can you give us few minutes to decide if we want it or not?" She nodded and walked out of the shop.

Marco: " It's perfect Honey! I could just see it now. Couldn't you?"

Me: " You will have to make better burgers then the place down the street. We will take it and I will help you all the way you better turn this place into the best place in the world were we will have to build you, your own building for the restaurant. Sound good?" He was jumping up and down and we waved for Sally to come in.

Me: " Alright Sally we will take it. Let's set down and do the paper work so we can get started and open up."

After about two hours we were done and given the keys to the place. Marco called up Damon and told him the good news. I called Seth and told him about it as well. I told Seth to come down and look and see what needed to be done to met with Marco's dreams of the place. After all was said and done the contractors were going to start on the place next week and Marco's restaurant would be done in about a month. Every one was excited. Marco couldn't sit still and was at the place every day.

It was time for Seth and I to board our plane to go see Aaron. When we would get back the restaurant should be done. I was so excited to finally met him. Seth was pretty excited to because he seen how happy it was making. In less then 10 hours I would met my father. I agreed that I would I just go met him at his wife's parents house so they didn't have to leave her parents. We had a limo waiting for us outside. We grabbed our cases and got in the limo. It was only about a 2 hour drive from the airport to the house. Seth and I decided that we would look at the house next door and would probably end up buying it and letting my father and his wife live in it so they weren't far away. We pulled up in a pretty rich neighborhood. When we arrived out the house it was amazing. We glanced over at the house next door and it was built the same way. We were going to buy it with out a doubt it was beautiful. We got our bags and walked up to the house. I took a deep breath and knocked. A man came to the door, his eyes were violet like my own. His hair you could tell was the same strawberry blond as mine. His had a little grey in his though. He was taller then my self. His mouth had the biggest smile I have ever seen that reached his eyes. This was no doubt in my mind my father Aaron. He reached out his hand to Seth and introduced himself. I was still standing there, all I wanted was him to hug me and pull me up in his arms and swing me around like a little kid. I could feel my eyes start to water. The next thing I knew Aaron reached out and gave me hug. I hugged him back not ever wanting to let him go again. We stood in the door way hugging for what seemed like forever when a woman appeared behind him.

Woman: " Oh wow honey she looks just like you!" She almost squealed at us. He let me go and pulled away to look at me.

Aaron: " I would say so, it's been forever since I have gotten to see you or hug you. I have been looking for years for you hoping you didn't hate me."

Me: " When I got old enough I asked my mother about you, she just said you didn't want me and left us. I was so heart broken thinking you didn't want me I stopped trying to figure you out."

Woman: " If only you could hear Aaron talk about you all these years. How proudly he speaks of you."

Me: " I wish I would have known all this long before. I haven't had the best of a life up until just recently."

Woman: " I'm so sorry to hear we would love to hear about it if you don't mind. An were are my manners my name is Ruth." We shake hands as we come inside.

Me: " So Seth and I were thinking we are going to buy the house next door. What do you guys think?"

Aaron:" Are you thinking of living next to us relocating? Why else would you want to buy it?"

Me: " Well we were thinking of buying it so that way when we came to visit we would have a place of our own. We were also thinking it would be a place that you guys could have so that way you can be right there if you needed too and still have your own privacy." They looked like they were about to cry.

Ruth:" You don't have to spend all that money for nothing honey."

Me:" Please I don't know what to do with it. Come find out the worthless bastard my mother married was loaded."

Aaron: " We don't know what to say. Thank you Patience. It would mean a lot to us."

We sat down and told stories about our lives. Aaron told me about himself and what he did for a living. How he had spent a long time looking for me, and Ruth was always there to support him and never once told him to give up even when he thought it was pointless. I'm glad for Ruth being there for him. Ruth told me about her life with my father and how she dreamt of this day. Then I told them edited version of my life with my mother and her husband Frank. They were so upset that they couldn't save me from him. Aaron held my hand the whole time and couldn't stop staring at me. He told me how proud he was of me for living threw all of it without turning to drugs and even worse possibility that could have came from that. They let us stay in the guest room, Seth and made plans to call the realtor tomorrow and buy the house in cash and start moving in. We planned on staying there for at least a month so I could get to know my father better. I continued to take my medication even though I felt like I didn't need them but Seth reminded me that when I feel like that I should keep on them so I don't relapse. I don't know what I would do with out Seth, he was my everything.

The next morning Ruth made us breakfast and Seth called to buy the house. We walked over to the house and looked around the property and threw the windows. It was beautiful I knew I wanted it more then anything. It was empty so that meant we could move in right then. We got back to the house while Seth got ready. Aaron and I talked more about what had happened to me. He wanted to know what Frank did but not in detail. So I told from the age of 5 till I was kicked out at 16 what Frank had done and what my mother had done as well. I told him about the 9 women he killed and that I turned the flash drives into the police. I told them I hadn't heard from them yet so I didn't know if they the women's bodies or not. I told him about Marco, Damon, Will, and Matt. Told them that I just lost Will and Matt in a car accident. I told him about how Marco and Damon pretty much adopted me and that Marco was going to be running a restaurant in about a month. I could see how much my father cared about me even though we were strangers he still loved me like a real father should. I was happy that after all these years I would know what the love a parent is supposed to have to a child. After all was said and done Seth and I went down to buy the house. When we got there they asked us if we would like a tour. We declined and told them we did a walk around and looked in the windows, that it seemed like it built the same way as the house next to it. We paid for it all up front and got everything in our name. After a couple of day we were able to move in. I decided since it would be Aaron and Ruth living in it mostly I would take Ruth on a shopping spree to get what she would like done. We took Ruth on a shopping spree to buy things for the house and had them planned to deliver it to the house the next day. Ruth was so excited to have something good in her life as well. She was excited to be having the house next door. I guess she grew up in the house next door and her old neighbors would let her go over and play in their big pool with their kids. She had child hood memories in that house we just bought. She just kept thanking us, it always feels great doing something good for others. There is nothing better. Her and I bonded really well with each other, I felt like she was my mother. I felt like I was robbed of having a great life with parents that actually loved me for me. I felt so sad knowing that I would never have that chance to re due my child hood. To make new memories and take away the bad ones.

After we were done shopping we went back to Ruth's parents house and started dinner. We all sat a table like a family. It felt great feeling like I have a family. After dinner we washed up the dinner plates and sat in the living room. We watched some TV then played some board games. Aaron and I took turns winning. I decided to challenge him to chess. He seemed like a great opponent to me. We ended the game in a stale mate. By the time we got it to bed it was past midnight. Seth and I went up to the spare room and held each other till we both fell into a deep slumber.

"I was laying in a bed that I didn't know, and the door creep opened. I turn over to see Aaron walking into the room. He leaves the door open and comes into the room. He tucks me into bed and lays on top of the blankets next to me. Curls up next to me an holds me.

Aaron: " My little princess. I love you. You are perfect."

Me: " I know Daddy I love you too." He kisses my head and gets out of the bed.

Aaron: " Sweet dreams princess I will see you in the morning."

I wake up to Seth getting out of bed, I had tears rolling down my face.

Seth: " Are you okay sweetie?"

Me: " I had a great dream, I was in a room un like I have seen with princess's and fairy and Aaron came in, tucked me in and kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. You know like how a father is supposed to be with their daughter?"

Seth: " Oh sweetie I know he loves you. Look how long he has looked for you." He crawled back into bed with me and wiped my tears away. He laid next to me just holding me. Then there was quiet knock on our door.

Me: " Come in." The door slowly opened.

Ruth: " Hey sleepy head, just wanted to let you know that they are moving in the future did you want to come help me get the house together?"

Me: " Of course I would love to help you, Seth and Aaron can get to know each other and you and I can bond." She smiled and walked out the door.

I jumped up and started to get dressed, I decided with some plane jeans and tank top. Put on my flip flops and walked out of the room, giving Seth a deep kiss before leaving. Ruth was waiting for me down stairs by the door. We walked next door and let the guys in. She took the down stairs while I took the upstairs. After 8 hours of deciding what should go were we were happy. Now all we needed was stuff to make everything useful. We went to Wal-Mart to get the stuff. We got some pots, pans, silverware, towels, garbage bags and containers, and all the cleaning stuff. Once we were done and satisfied we checked out and went back home. She worked on the kitchen and I worked on everything else. We were so tired, we for got we needed food in the house. We laughed at each other and went back to her parents house were dinner was waiting for us. We ate so fast that everyone just looked at us. We went straight for bed. After a little while I felt Seth get in bed next to me and curl up to me.

Me: " We forgot to get food."

Seth: " What? Oh for the house?" I nodded.

Me: " We are going to do that tomorrow then you and I are going to be staying there till we leave. We only have two weeks left. Can you believe that we have been here two weeks? I am going to miss it here, I feel so happy here with them, it's like the parents I should of had all this time but was robbed because of Mother and Frank."

Me: " Well now you have them, and that's better then never having them." I nodded and fell asleep.

When we woke up we got all of our stuff together to move next door for the rest of the two weeks, I was happy for it cause going two weeks without feeling Seth's love was killing me. I didn't want to be rude and make love in the house cause I can get pretty loud. Aaron helped us get next door I showed him the room I wanted witch was like the master bed room it had it's own bathroom and everything, but was a little smaller then the master. They tried to talk me into taking the master but I told them it wasn't my house it was theirs and that they would get more use out of it then I ever would, they just laughed at me. After that Aaron asked if he could take me out for a father daughter dinner alone. I almost jumped with joy as I said yes. I had all day to plan for it. I was so excited, to be alone with him and to really talk to him to find out more about him. I wanted to know everything about him, how he really felt about seeing me after all these years. Seth and I pretty much just lounged around the new house and enjoying the swimming pool. We had someone come clean it the day before so we could swim before we left. After we went for the swim I started to get ready to with my Father. I wore a black dress that had opening in the back down to the small of my back, it showed some of my scars but I was proud to wear them. It showed me as a survivor I never have been the type to hide my scars I was used to people staring at me Anyways might as well give them a good reason too right? I put on some nice heels and did my face in light make up. The door bell rang and I walked down the stairs and there was Aaron and Seth talking in the door step.

Seth: " Wow sweetie you look amazing like always!"

Aaron: " Your a beautiful woman I am proud to call you my daughter." I blushed so hard I felt like my face was going to catch fire.

I walked down the stairs and Aaron wrapped his arm into mine and we walked down to his car. He opened the door for me and let me get in then shut it, he ran over to his side and got in. We drove a little ways before we said anything.

Me: " So were are we going?"

Aaron: " To this little restaurant that Ruth suggested. She said it has some really good Mexican food. Do you like Mexican food?"

Me: " Like it? I love it!"

Aaron: " Me too. I have loved it forever, you liked to eat the taco meat when you were little."

Me: " Really? I always felt peaceful when I ate it. That kind of explains that I guess." He nodded my way and continued to drive.

We got to the little restaurant and went inside. It was a cute little place that wasn't all that busy but still a little busy. We sat down in a corner area and looked at the menus. We both ordered some Enchiladas Rancheras some tacos with beans and rice. We had some small talk, it was uncomfortable being with him it felt right in a way. When our food got there it smelled great we both dug in. We ate every last bite then ordered some Arroz con Leche also known as Mexican rice pudding. We ate that all up as well. After we were done we headed back to the car and drove up to a hill he parked the car. We sat there looking at the view in Texas, it was beautiful and peaceful.

Aaron: " You know after your mother left with you I broke down, I tried to kill myself several times when I couldn't find you. That's how I met Ruth, she was psychologist at the mental hospital I was at. Did she tell you about it?"

Me: " No when I asked her how she met you she told me that you would tell me when you were ready. I have been in a mental hospital as well you know?"

Aaron: " Yeah Seth went over that you are on medications for some mental problems and have been in a hospital. I just want you to know you can talk to me about it if you want, no matter what you say or do you will always be my princess and I will always love you?"

Me: " No I didn't know that" I let out some tears." It means a lot to me for you to say that. I went in the mental hospital because I seen a recording of Frank beating, raping and murdering my teacher when I was in the first grade. I blamed myself and tried to kill myself, it didn't work and I ended up in the hospital for several months trying to find myself. I ended up also watching the other videos and finding out that Frank murdered 8 women in total and 1 child, they were all there to help me and cared about me but Frank killed them when he found out that they knew. I have come to terms knowing it isn't my fault they are dead but Frank's for what he was doing to a innocent child." Aaron reached over and just held me. It felt like I was finally finding my place, he was my father. " Do you mind if I call you Dad?" He squeezed me harder.

Aaron:" I have been wanting to hear your voice call me dad for years now, I only want you to call me dad if you are comfortable with it." I nodded.

We talked some more about how his life was after I was kidnapped and how it all changed when Ruth came into his life. I couldn't help but think that there was no way in my life time could I ever thank Ruth enough. Because of her my father was alive and still looking for me. Though the illness that came to Ruth's family was hard on them both he had to stop looking for me at the time but luckily I had been looking for him and found him. The thing in my life was find my father. We drove back home and dropped me off at my house then went home next door to with Ruth.

When I walked in the door there were candles lit going up the stairs. As I was following them I blew them out, couldn't have my new house starting on fire while I was making love now could I? After following the trail into our room I found Seth laying on the bed naked. I stood there and admired him in candle light. He flat stomach that wasn't all muscle but had some definition in it. His chest with slight bit of hair. His arms were well toned as well as his legs. The "V" shape that lead down to his well endowed cock standing to attention waiting for me to crawl on it. I slipped out of my shoes, then my dress. Taking off my panties as well. I walked over to the bed and moved up to his mouth and kissed him deeply. I threw over one of my legs so that I was straddled him. I could feel his hard cock against the lips of my moist pussy. I could feel him moving his hips trying to get inside of me. I moved my hand down to his cock and guided him into my pussy. The feeling was like being deprived from chocolate for a month. I leaned back letting his hip rock up towards me shoving his cock deep inside. I moved my hips side to side then up and down going faster. Seth was grabbing both my breasts and sitting up and nibbling on them. He then put his arms around my back pushed me over to the side so he could be on top. He didn't realize that there was no more bed on that side and I ended up on the floor with him on top of me. We both started to laugh as he thrust his cock inside me. His hips moving with the same beat as my hips as he soon thrust in my pussy and exploded deep inside of me. I let out a moan. He moved off the top of me an lifted me on the bed. He moved my legs a part then he started to move his head down to my pussy. He flicked his tongue against my clit over and over till I let out a moan and clenched my legs over his head to make him stop. After I was done we got up and took a shower to clean our selves. Then we went to bed, snuggling close to each other naked.

I heard the door bell ring in the morning. I walked to my closet and pulled down a huge t shirt that went to the middle of my thighs and pulled on some panties put on my slippers and walked down to the door. I looked out the peep hole and see Ruth and Aaron standing there. I opened the door and let them in.

Ruth: " Did we wake you dear?"

Me: " Yeah but that's okay we needed to wake up Anyways. How are you guys doing this morning?" We started to walk towards the kitchen to get some coffee. I turned on the coffee maker. " Sorry didn't realizes we slept in so late."

Aaron: " Oh don't be silly you guys have the right to sleep in. So Seth was telling me that you guys are going to get married in a couple of months is that right?"

Me: " Oh man I feel like a jerk now, I was going to invite you guys free room and board and completely forgot!"

Ruth: " Seth told Aaron about it the other day and said you have had a lot on your mind that you would remember but it was driving me nuts cause I didn't want you to leave without a gift from me. I won't be able to make it cause I can't leave dad but I am making Aaron go and take a million pictures."

Me: " Awe you don't have to give me anything Ruth, and I understand you won't be able to make it, but you really don't have to give me anything." She held her finger up to my mouth to silence me. She put her hand over my eyes and then made me put my hand out. I felt a box in my hand and she let me look. When I opened the box I felt tears welling up.

Ruth: " These are the rings my great grandparents had when they got married. It is tradition for the first woman in the family to get married that they use these till the next daughter. I don't have any children I only have you and I have grown to think of you as my own before we met and well after even more I only hope I could of had a daughter like you. Please take them as a gift, you will probably need to size them. An I can see that you feel guilty because now we don't have any so to make you feel better I will let you buy our new set how does that sound?"

Me: " Yes I will. Thank you so much Ruth you have no idea how happy I am and how much I wish you would of been my mother!" I grabbed her and held her, wishing and aching that she was my real mother, that kind gentle soul was mine. I smelt her hair wish it was tied to a good memory from my child hood but it wasn't cause she wasn't by blood my mother, but she is by marriage and that to be good enough and it was cause she was in my life and so was Aaron my dad. Seth came down the stairs, luckily he remember his pants and didn't come down in boxers cause there was no hiding his morning wood in boxers. I let out a giggle and ran to Seth and showed him. He was excited about how beautiful the rings would look on me.

The days went on pretty much the same we spent as much time as we could together swam a lot in the pool, took turns cooking. Before I knew it we were leaving the next day. To go back home and move into our new house and start our life. It was a sad last dinner with Ruth and Aaron. We cried a lot hugged a lot. They decided to stay in the new house with us that last night to get used to it. I had a special bell installed from her dad's house into hers to were if he hit the button a bell would go off in the house and she could talk to him when she wasn't there. She loved it made it easier for her to watch him when she didn't have to hover over him or worry all the time. I tried to make their life easier. I told them if they ever needed anything to call and I would do my best to get it for them. When we boarded the plane I knew everything was going to be alright. I had my dad in my life and my wonderful step mother.

When we got home Marco was waiting for us with a lot of food to sample. We ate them all and approved of them. He was doing a grand opening with the restaurant in two days. He had everything ready. I told him tomorrow we would go down and see what he has done. He even hired people to start working there. I forgot about that detail, it's a small crew of only 5 people. Two in the kitchen two waiting tables and one greeter. I told him he needs more people. We had to find at least three more people in two days. But Seth and I were really tired to so we went to bed while Marco ran around calling temp agencies to find three people for opening day with a very high possibility of permanency in the restaurant. Seth and I went up stairs and went right to bed.

In the morning I went downstairs to some breakfast out for Seth and I with note from Marco telling us that he went to work and to stop by so I can learn how to handle the shop so he could have some help when he didn't want to go in. After eating and getting ready for the day I headed out to Marco's restaurant. By the time I got there I had to struggle to get through the door. There were people lined up for blocks. He was doing great I was so proud of him. After I got in I seen he had hired a lot more people and everything in side was running smoothly. I found my way through the workers and back into the office Marco kept. He was glowing he was so happy. You could tell he was proud of his restaurant that was so busy that you could barely get in. We would have to get a bigger place if this kept up. I was there all day long learning what he was doing. Then at the end of the day he showed me how you closed up and what he kept all the money from the day in to deposit it at the bank every night. This was our routine for the next week. Every night when it was just him and I there would be knocks on the door and we would go tell them we were closed to come back in the Morin, or some times we would let someone in and dish them out some free meal. It felt great giving them free meals. Some nights we just ignored them pretending we weren't in there. It all depended how the day was. So then it came the night I was going to do it alone. After a week of training I knew I could do it. Marco wanted to take Damon out for the week end so it would be all me running his restaurant.

I was on my last day of running the restaurant by myself tonight. Seth went home early cause he was tired and I just locked up the restaurant to do the nightly audit when there was a knock on the door. When I went out front to answer it no one was there. Damn kids messing with me. I went back to the office and started it up again. Just when I was about to finish there was a knock. I went out and there was a couple standing there. I told we were closed and to come back in the morning when we are open. They walked away. I went back to work and right when I sat down there was another knock. Oh my God did those people come back? No body was there so I went back and finished up the counting. Got every thing ready and text Seth telling him I was on my way to the bank then I would be home right after. He knew it would only take me thirty minutes to get everything done and if I wasn't home in a hour he would call me or start looking for me. I locked up the office, and turned off all the lights. I opened the front door and went to lock it when I felt something hard hit my head. Everything went black.

Chapter 6

I heard a beeping sound and someone talking. My brain felt groggy as I started to open eyes, everything was fuzzy. I couldn't understand what they were saying as my eyes adjusted to the lights. I heard the beeping sound pick up pace. It was my heart beat. I looked around seeing that i was in a hospital. There was a doctor and a nurse in there with me. I tried to wrap my brain around what was going on.

Me: " What's going on? How long have I been here?" My voice was shaky and my voice was cracking.

Doctor: " Your in a hospital, your head was hit pretty hard we tried to give you mannitol to reduce the swelling in your head but it didn't work. We put you in a coma for a month to reduce the swelling. It has seemed to work. What all do you remember?"

Me: " I don't remember much of anything, I remember I was going into the restaurant so Marco could have his time with Damon, I had a week of training with him to prepare for this night. What happened?" I was so confused, I just remember Marco asking me to close that night and that's all, there was a fog in memory.

Doctor: " You were at the restaurant that night, when you were attacked. You were hit over the head and caused your brain to swell. We decided to put in a coma so your brain would heal it's self."

Me: " I was attacked? What else happened? I don't remember any of it."

Doctor: " After you were struck over the head the attacker beat you and raped you and took all the money. The police want to ask you questions but if you can't remember don't try to force yourself to remember it. It may cause more harm then good for you."

I just nodded I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was robbed and raped in Marco's restaurant. I couldn't remember anything past going into the restaurant that night. Where were they? Where was Marco and Seth?

Me:" Where is Marco and Seth?" I was so confused on were everyone was I just wanted to see them. I wanted to see Seth's face and for him to hold me, and to make sure Marco was okay knowing what happened to me in the restaurant.

Doctor: " They are in the waiting room, we made them wait to make sure there were no complications in bringing you out of the coma. Sometimes when bringing people out they go down hill and we have to put them back under, but other times it ends up with you being like this just very confused. I am surprised you remembered as much as you do most come out not really remembering a whole lot."

Me: " Can I see them?"

Doctor: " In a few minutes I just have to run over so some tests and I will get the nurse to bring them back in here for you. You are a very lucky woman."

I just nodded as the doctor checked all vital signs, my eyes and in my ears. Asked if I was in any pain I wasn't just very deeply confused. After about 30 minutes of him checking me he finally left to get Marco and Seth. I couldn't wait to see them. I tried to remember that night but it was like it was just fog. A very heavy fog that wouldn't lift. Nothing I did changed that. About 20 minutes of waiting they came in. Their were tears in their eyes. Both apologizing at the end of every sentence. I told them I didn't remember anything. After Marco left Seth stayed by my side and the police came in. They asked me all kinds of questions about that night I told them I didn't remember anything at all. They told me they had the guy and asked if I could identify him, I had to explain that I did not remember even being attacked. After about a hour of them asking me questions they finally understood I didn't remember anything of that night. They told me that they would still prosecute him because they had so much evidence against him it would be a slam dunk case. They asked me if I wanted to be a wittiness I didn't care but they knew I would be a weak link in the case because I couldn't remember anything happening to me and may not remember. It struck me then about the women Frank killed. I asked them if they knew anything about it. Just so happens one of them knew a couple of things. He told me that they had found the bodies in the ditch and were still locating the family members. They asked me if I knew about their families or anything. I told him I would have to think about it and would let them know as soon as I wrote it all down. They left after that. I was in the hospital for another week making sure everything would be okay after waking up from the coma.

The day they released me from the hospital we went to Marco's place. Marco and Seth both ended up babying me. Seth had called Aaron and told that I was awake but didn't remember the attack. Everyone didn't know how I was going to react to the attack. But I think not being able to remember is like it never happened. I didn't want to remember the attack. I have been through enough to know what a beating and a rape feels like and I don't want to re live it again because of some jerk. I needed to move on with my life with Seth. Though the thought of someone I didn't know touching me made me feel sick. I think I should talk to my psychologist about it when I see her latter. I think I want to just concentrate on my wedding coming up.

Our wedding was postponed for another month so I could get better and get ready. I was sad that Ruth wouldn't be able to make it. I didn't have anyone for my maid of honor I think I am just going to ask Marco, and Damon can be the best man. I know that is not normal but it is my normal. I would let Aaron give me away at the alter so he gets to dress all fancy. We are not having that big of a wedding just our close friends. Seth doesn't really have any family cause they all live far away and out cast him when he didn't want to stay at the farm to take over when his father passed away, he wasn't meant to be a cowboy. He hated to be called a cowboy it drove him crazy, but secretly I loved the idea of him being a cowboy but I would never tell him that to his face. So they wouldn't be coming to the wedding. I think it is a very small wedding but it will be a nice one none the less. I only had Aaron as family, I didn't think anyone was going to be in the audience because well we didn't really know anyone. I don't even know if my mother had family because I never met any of them. None the less I put our announcement in the paper and the date we were going to get married. We figured if people wanted to they could come. Marco and I decided to go dress shopping today. That turned out to be a nightmare. He had to leave early to go to the restaurant and that left just me to figure out my dress. I went to five different dress shops and none of them had a dress I wanted. Nothing was turning out right. We wanted to have old times wedding. Me in a white corset dress him in a black tux. That was our theme. Black and white, because that is how I felt. It's either great or it bad. I never have a natural time. I wonder what that would be like for other people. Not have the past I have had or anything.

I was getting ready for my appointment with my psychologist when I got a call telling me that she had to cancel for some unknown reason. I was let down when I needed to talk to her about my attacker. I also got a call from the police department telling me about the Frank case. They were down to trying inform the last living person about one of the woman who he murdered. He asked me if the family's could know my name for helping them put their loved ones to rest. I agreed for the simple fact that I know I helped out nine families find their loved ones and put them to rest the way they deserve. I felt a ping of guilt in my core when I said that, because if it wasn't for me those eight women and one child would still be alive. I could feel myself going down hill and fast.

I started heading down the stairs for some food when I tripped over the rug and fell down the stairs. I screamed in pain as I looked down and seen my wrist twisted funny along with my ankle. Things went dark when I came too Seth was carrying me in his arms inside a hospital. The pain was unbelievable. My wrist was on fire and my leg felt like someone had poured acid on it. They hooked me up to a IV and gave me pain medication. I was then taken to get x-rays on my wrist and my leg. When I got back to my room Seth and Marco where sitting there waiting for me.

Seth: " What happened babe?" He asked with concern.

Me: " I was walking down the stairs to get something to eat when I tripped and fell."

Marco: " I knew I should have not gotten that rug. It's evil and out to get everyone the other day I almost tripped on it and thought I should move it. I'm sorry Patience please forgive me?"

Me: " Of course your forgiven what kind of question is that?" My words were slurred, the morphine was taking me under. I could feel the numbness that it was bringing me and I loved it. I could feel the high. Everything was fuzzy and kind of funny. The Doctor came in with his laptop. He pulled up the x-rays.

Doctor: " Hello Patience I am Doctor Green." He reached out his and to shake mine, I shook it.

Me: " Well Doc what's the damage this time?" In my haze it sounded funny like bugs bunny.

Green: " Well lets see here." He pulled over his laptop and pulled up a x-ray of my wrist. " As you can see here your wrist had gotten most of the impact and lets just say it's shattered I will have to do some surgery on it to make sure you can use it again and that it is functional. As for your leg." He closed my wrist and pulled up my leg x-ray. " Luckily it didn't break the skin and come threw. Your going to be on crutches for a little while but your going to have to take it easy for about three weeks then I will but you on a walking cast."

I sighed with relief. Another three weeks on pretty much bed rest. I didn't want to get married in a walking cast so I moved the date again for the wedding. I was starting to feel like we shouldn't get married because of all that was happening. Maybe it was a sign that we shouldn't get married. Seth took me home and carried me up the stairs and laid me on the bed. I ended up falling asleep shortly after I laid down. When I woke up there was a T.V in my room with my lap top close by. Seth was no were to be found. I looked around and found a note by my night stand.

" Patience,

I went into work for a little while I shouldn't be to long. I left you with plenty to do while I am gone. There is some food in the little fridge next tot he bed for you. Please don't go down stairs, I don't want you to fall again.

Your future husband Seth."

He is so sweet, I folded the note back into the envelope and put it in the drawer. I turned the T.V on and found a good music station. I flipped open my laptop and turned it on. I decided to see if there was any news on me when I was attacked and if there were any leads. I went to google.com and put in my name. I found a couple of articles about the attack. There was even a picture of my on the gurney being put in the ambulance. How embarrassing. There was blood over my face, and my eyes were open and it look like I was talking. Was I awake when they showed up? Was I awake when the guy beat me and raped me and just don't remember it? I guess it's possible. Just then my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voice mail as I continued to read the article about me. After I was done I turned off the laptop and looked at my phone. One new voice message. I hit the visual voice mail and listen to the message. It was a Officer asking if I could call him back regarding the Frank case. I wonder why they are calling me about that case. It was pretty much over I thought. I thought they were going to find the next to kin of some of the women then go public with the case. I decided that I should I text Seth and let him know. He told me to wait to call the Officer back till he got there in case they wanted to see me in person. I went with it. My wrist and leg are hurting pretty bad. I looked around to find the crutches so I could go to the bathroom take some pain medication and maybe find something good on T.V. After finding the crutches I went to the bathroom then took some pills, and went and laid back down. After finding some reruns of the show Bones I started to feel light and fuzzy. I knew the pain pills had kicked in. I felt so light, so happy, it was a nice feeling. I drifted off to sleep.

I was woken up by my phone going off. It was the same number the Officer called me from. Seth walked into the room.

Me: "It's the Officer calling me again. I'm going to answer it." Seth nodded as I reached for the phone and answered it. The call was short we set up a time for him to stop by to talk to me regarding the case. He was due here in about a hour. I had explained to him that I was bed ridden for a while and he would have to talk to me in my room he agreed and hung up. I had Seth go in my closet to find me some clean clothes so when the Officer showed up I would at least be decent. Then I brushed my hair and teeth and laid back down. The Officer showed up right on time.

Officer: " Patience my name is Officer Sage and I am working on the case involving Frank your step father. I just have a couple of questions for you regarding Frank." I nodded so he would continue on, my pills were starting to wear off and I was starting to hurt. " After we watched those recordings it came to our attention that some of them had someone else working the camera. Do you know who it might of been?"

Me: " I know my mother was in one or two of them but she showed her face with Frank at the end is that what your asking?" I was slightly confused I told the last Officer about her involvement in them.

Sage: " No we already knew that. It was before your Mother was involved from what we can tell. We have a picture of the other person's reflection. Would you mind taking a look at it to see if you recognize him?" I shook my head and reached out for the picture. I know I didn't watch all of the videos but thought I seen Frank take all the last shots by himself. Was this in the torture room were the guy was? I looked at the picture it was really blurry and I couldn't really tell but it did look like this guy that came to the house on several occasions I never talked to him and didn't really see him, when ever the guy showed up Frank would make me leave the room. By the looks of him the guy was a couple of years older then me.

Me: " I had seen him several times come over to the trailer but never talked to him or knew his name, Frank would make me leave when the guy would show up. Least see, he looked like he was about three or so years older then I. So he is about 24 or 25. He was fairly tall about as tall as Seth but a little taller. He had very dark blond hair, brown eyes very slender almost skeleton type. He had hallow eyes like he had been up for a long time maybe a drug user. That's all I really remember of the guy."

Sage: " Well that puts us a little closer, your sure you never heard his name or anything else?" I shook my head. " Well in that case here is my card if you can think of anything else about this guy or about this case please call me as soon as possible. Thank you for your time and I hope you a speedy recovery."

With that we shook hands and Seth took him out. I could hear there voices but couldn't understand what they were saying, I reached over to my pills and took some more pain meds, flipped on the T.V and continued to watch the Bones marathon. Seth came back in and laid down next to me.

Seth: " Wow so there was someone else that helped Frank besides your mother. That is really sick and disturbing. Can you believe it?"

Me: " No I can't. I can't remember that guy but he did come around every so often. I was always made to leave the guy never even talked to me or even waved. I don't think he even looked at me. I wish now I would tried to listen to what they were talking about but I just ignored it like a stupid woman I am."

Seth: " Babe your not stupid, you are too polite for your own good. It is probably for the best you didn't anyways just think of what Frank would have done if he caught you snooping in when he clearly didn't want you to know who this person was? It looks like you didn't need to know him anyways. Besides I am sure if you knew what you know now there would be different out come of where you are now."

Me; " I just don't find it fair. Why would he do that? Why would a sick bastard help Frank? What did he get out of it? I don't even know if the guy was apart of any of it or if he was just the camera man? How could someone just film it without doing something? How did Frank even met the guy?" All these thoughts were rushing in my head and I was just getting sadder with each thought.

Seth: " I don't know but babe lets talk about something else. How about when do you want to get married now?"

Me: " To be honest with everything going on do you think that it is a amen not to get married, it just seems when ever we plan it something bad happens and we don't get married. Do you think we still should? I mean do you still want to marry me even though all this bad shit keeps happening to me?" I was starting to have a panic attack, what if Seth changed his mind? How could someone love me with all this shit going on to me?

Seth: " Patience I love you more then anything. I would be honored if you married me. I could call you my wife. I could grow old with you by my side. I think this is all happening to open your eyes and take a break and be happy. With out bad there could only good. If we can make it through all of this bad then only good should happen. I mean who can say they had to postpone their marriage because of a coma then post pone it again because of a broken wrist and leg? These are stories that one can only read about or see in a horrible sitcom on T.V. Or even on days of our lives." He let out a small giggle. I didn't even know he knew about day time dramas.

Me: " How would you know about Days of our lives? Is there something your not telling me?" I was teasing him now but I really wanted to know.

Seth: " When I was younger I broke my collar bone falling out of a tree and had to stay at home for a couple of weeks. There was nothing on T.V during the day but Oprah and Days of our lives. So yes I watched them. I am not ashamed. So when do you want to get married this time?"

Me: " Wow I'm sorry those are horrible shows. I don't know how does Halloween sound to you? Might as well get married on a night that is filled with power right? Might give us good luck right?" I said it after having a laugh about him watching drama's on T.V. He nodded to me and held me close.

Seth: "If that is what you want then that is what you shall get my love, my soon to be wife." With that he gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek. " I just wish you weren't broken so I could makes sweet love to you then fuck the life out of you!" He started to laugh and I joined in.

Me: " Well give me about fifteen more minutes and my pills will kick in and I will be on cloud nine and we can have gentle sex!" I was laughing when he slightly pulled away.

Seth: " How many have you had?" He reached for the bottle, I had just noticed that out of the 30 they gave me I had taken half already. I just shrugged my shoulders. " You have been out of the hospital for almost 24 hours and have already taken half? Babe you need to be careful your going to be in pain for awhile and they are only going to give you two more refills. You need to make them last. How about I hold on to these and make sure you don't over dose on these okay?" I just nodded. The pills where kicking in and I was getting sleepy again. I couldn't believe I had took 15 pills in 24 hours. That isn't good but I couldn't really worry about it cause I was floating. Everything was numb to pain and I couldn't keep my eyes open. Last thing I remember seeing before closing my eyes was a worried Seth looking at me. I gave him a quick kiss and fell asleep.

"Locking up the office there was a knock on the door. I went to the door and no one was there. I went back to make sure everything was locked up and picked up for tomorrow's morning. Walking back outside and opening the front door to lock up the shop when everything went black. In a daze I open my eyes and see a dark figure standing over me.

Man: "You dirty fucking slut your going to get what's coming to you!" He was snarling at me.

Me: " Who are you? What do you mean?" The pain in the back of my head made it sound pitiful.

Man: " You don't remember me do you? Go figure you fucking cunt." He bends over and punches me in the face.

I moan and try to crawl away, trying to cover my face but it was useless he was pulling me back hitting me and not stopping. Then he hit me again and everything went black.

Man: " What did Frank see in a cunt like you? Your a slut I bet your all used up." He was ripping off my shirt, I couldn't feel my pants or panties on me. Oh god did he just say Frank? How does he know Frank. Why is he doing this to me? Why can't I remember him?

Man: "Maybe." He continued to hit me while he went between my legs and forced his penis inside my vagina. He put his hands around my throat. I was trying to grab him with my hands but they couldn't move. He had me tied up.

Me: " Why?" I said in a sob. The pain coming from body was too much to bare. It came out in a whisper.

Man: " Why? Because your a cunt and a slut. I was told you had the best cunt ever from your dear step father." He finished with a loud grunt and got off of me. Then started to kick me. I tried to roll up in a ball but he had me tied me. I went back under to find my darkness."

I sat straight up in bed. I was alone. I looked around to find the clock it was 2:00. I laid back down and tried to remember the dream. Was that what happened to me at the restaurant? Did I know the guy? I grabbed my phone and text Seth asking him to come here. A short while latter Seth came into the room.

Seth: " Morning hon or afternoon. What's wrong?" The worried look on his face was showing.

Me: " I had this dream of the attack. I don't know if it was real or not. Would you give me the card the cops left me so I can tell them about it?" He looked confused so I told him about the dream. He got me the card and sat down next to me rubbing my leg as I talked to the cops about the dream. I told them that I don't remember much but that he knew Frank and they should talk to the cops that are investigating the murders that Frank committed since they were asking about someone else. After I got off the phone it was about time for some more pain pills. I didn't want to take them cause I didn't want to sleep any more. That dream really scared me. I told Seth that I didn't want them any more that the pain wasn't so bad. But it was lie. I was hurting but not the type the pills could take away.

I told Seth that I was fine. I went into the bathroom so I could cut. Then I remembered that I didn't have my cutting tools any more that I had gave them to Seth after I got out of the hospital. I sat on the floor and cried to myself. After about a hour of just sitting on the floor crying I heard Seth knocking on the door. I told him he could come in. I could see the relief that I was still alive then the worry when he seen me on the floor crying.

Seth: " Oh hon what's wrong?"

Me: " I came in here to cut, to try and ease the pain but I don't have anything to cut with. I started to think about all the shit going wrong in my life and can't help but to feel sorry for myself. I don't know what to do. I don't know if there is someone out that wants to hurt me like Frank did. I don't know what I did to deserve this. Why? What did I do so wrong in my life?" I started to cry some more when Seth came over and picked me up off the floor and carried me back to bed. He laid me down and laid next to me holding me.

Seth: " You didn't do anything. You are a great person. Your mother is the one that fucked up and married Frank. Your Mother stayed with the bastard after what he did to you." He was whispering in my ear and rubbing my tummy while he said it.

I was silent and just laid there expecting his words to make me feel better. The rubbing stopped my crying and I was starting to fall asleep when my phone went off. It was just a text. I told Seth to text who ever just text me to leave me alone to sleep. Seth rolled over to my phone then in a really quite voice said "What the fuck?" I rolled over to see him and his face was bright red. I had only seen that face when he was pissed.

Me: " What's wrong?"

Seth: " We need to call the police right now." He set the phone down and walked out of the room to go get his phone down stairs. I reached over and grabbed my phone and opened the message. It was from a unknown number.

" u lil cunt, I know u told the police about me. I know u don't know who I am. I am cumin 4 ur lil cunt. Ur lil bf can't sleep next to you 4ever rubbing ur belly 2 put you 2 sleep. I am cumin for u!"

I dropped the phone and curled up under the covers. How did he know we were in bed together? Seth came back up talking to the cops on the phone. Officer Sage was going to come over to talk to us about what I told him on the phone and this text message that I just received and would be here in about a hour.

Me: " You know that message was right? You can't protect me 24/7. You will have to go back to work and that will leave me here. An with the broken bones I can't defend myself. "

Seth: " Don't say that, I'm not going back to work until your 100% better for one and I am not going back till we are man and wife and we come back from our honeymoon."

I could still see that he was worried cause he knew the truth as well. It doesn't matter how well I am I still can't defend myself.

Me: "Maybe after I heal I should take some self defense classes and get a gun?"

Seth: " I agree that is the best idea ever, I wish I thought of it. After you are healed we will find some classes maybe Officer Sage knows some good classes, I know police officers offer classes for self defense and I am sure he would help you." I nodded and the door bell was going off. Seth gave me a kiss on the check and went and answered the door. They both came into the room and I handed him the cell phone.

Sage: " Wow what a mouth on this one. The most I could do would be to call your provider and see where this text was sent from, if it was a phone or if it was from a computer, but even so we should be able to see who sent this to you. I talked to the other officers in the Frank case and they will be calling you to find out more about your dream and the guy that you can't really remember. To see if maybe it will jog your memory. In the mean time I am going to have patrol cars patrolling your house until we catch the guy who did this because it seems this is not a just a random attacking. It seems as though this guy knows you and wants to do you harm."

Me: " Thank you Officer Sage. That makes me feel a little better." We went over some details about the dream and the guy. I told him about wanting to take classes and get a gun and he agreed with me that it would be a great idea. He gave me number to call for when I was healed so I could enroll in the classes. Told me that he would make sure I got in no matter what and he knew that money wasn't a problem either.

After about two months after my stairs accident I was taken out of my casts and was able to start the classes we had the day set for when we were getting married it was only a couple days away and I was getting excited. The police couldn't track down the text message it was sent using a public computer that wasn't monitored so we have no idea who sent it. The police still patrolling my house. I have gotten really good with the gun and we keep in the night stand.

Seth I decided that in a months time we would set out to get married. We already had everything ready so now it was just waiting game. We sent out the invitations to everyone letting them know we would be getting married. I already paid for the plane ticket for Dad and for his wife she still wasn't sure if she would be coming or not because of her parents but she would try her hardest. Marco and Damon were ready for us to be married already. I was starting to get excited knowing soon I would be someone's wife. I know Seth wanted kids at some point and he wouldn't be able to bare his own with me, I knew he was giving up a lot just to be with me. As the weeks crept by slowly dawning our day together. After a very long month went by everything was ready. My dad was here but his wife couldn't make it. Then Marco and Damon were there as well. That was our family. We didn't have anyone else and Seth's family declined to show up. Made me feel bad for Seth knowing that his own family didn't want to be apart of his life. How someone wouldn't want to be a part of his life is unimaginable to me.

A week before my wedding night I decided to throw myself a party and go to a bar and just drink and dance. Marco of course was coming with me he was my maid of honor after all. We went to a club called Mansion. It is a amazing club, had multiple dance floors and special VIP rooms. Marco surprised me with a VIP section for me. As the music was playing and Marco and I were dancing I went to the bar to get another drink when the bartender told me the drink was paid for and pointed to a man at the end of the bar. I waved and bounced back to the dance floor where Marco was. We were dancing and I was finishing up my drink. I set the glass down on a table and continued to dance with Marco. Marco left me to go to the bathroom and I was still dancing on the floor when I started to feel the drinks kicking in. I felt a huge wave of dizziness. I went to go to a table when I bumped into the man who bought me my drink.

Man: " Whoa there, you look like you could use some fresh air would you like some help?"

Me: " That sounds like a good idea?" I was barely able to even hear myself when he picked me up in his arms then he and started to carry me. " Oh friend Marco should be back soon wait?" It didn't sound right coming out of my mouth I felt really drunk, Could five drinks really do that to me? I know it had been awhile since I drank but wow I felt like a light weight. Everything was starting to get fuzzy I tried to concentrate on where I was but yet couldn't focus were I was. The last thing I could remember was hearing the mans voice and remembering how it sounded familiar in a bad way and I felt a shock of panic for a minute.

