Shall I start? Anything? Okay.
This is my sign name (Alexis). 
Because of my hair!
I wanted to speak to you
because I know you've got level 6 BSL
and you’re queer like me! 
So that makes me feel safe.
If you get me?
Anyway...
It’s weird doing this over Zoom.
Like, last week at a big work Zoom 
meeting with my BSL interpreter,
my boss was announcing something
and then the bloody screen froze
(one was picking their nose...).
When the screen came back,
I was too embarrassed to ask them to repeat themselves,
so I burst out laughing to show 
that yes, I’m paying attention!
Everyone was staring at me.
Turns out the news was
that the boss’s dog has died
and that he was 
taking time off to grieve.
I was mortified, I definitely
need to upgrade my Wi-Fi
so people don’t think I’m a
raging sadist that takes pleasure
in the death of dogs!
Now you see why 
it makes me so anxious.
I’ve been missing a 
lot of Zoom meetings because
I keep getting panic attacks.
It’s *really* mentally 
exhausting to concentrate
on the interpreter on
the screen for so long.
I’m kind of worried 
about losing the job.
So, I want help because 
I really love my job.
My last counsellor said to 
me that a lot of my mental health
issues were caused by me being Deaf.
I felt even more depressed
because I believed him.
It wasn’t until my best friend
pointed out that maybe how
society disables me is what 
is affecting my mental health.
For example, once I ended up in Newcastle instead of Aberdeen
because I couldnae hear
the train announcement,
and they tried to fine me heavily
for having the wrong ticket
even though I tried to explain.
Once, I was on a train
and it stopped and every single
person on the train got off
and I didn’t know
what was happening...
and then I realised
I must have missed
the train announcement again!
So, I was stranded 
in a remote train station
with no way of contacting anyone,
as my parents at the time 
couldn’t afford a mobile phone.
I was stood in the rain and
the freezing cold for ages
until half 6 in the morning.
Then, finally someone came
over to me and made up excuses
and walked off but I wanted
them to book me a taxi...
I could go on an on and on!
Then he just told me 
I had to get over my
irrational fear of trains by 
going on trains more often
And that I just had 
to put in the effort to
really listen to the 
announcement, then
I’ll be able to hear 
what it is saying.
I clearly have 
never thought of that!
My depression
and anxiety is gone!
I’m hearing!
IT’S A MIRACLE!
So… clearly, 
I stopped seeing him.
I’m sure you know how
difficult it was to get someone
that can sign and that
kinda gets deaf culture
if you know what I mean?
One Deaf counsellor I know
is actually my 
best friend’s mother.
I just can’t confide
in my best friend’s mother
because I once 
projectile vomited everywhere,
all over her 
bedroom wall and carpet
after drinking too many 
of my self-invented Buckfast
and red wine cocktails
it was all black..
She had to redecorate 
her wall AND fit a new carpet.
So... I can’t look her
in the eyes since then.
Very awkward.
I don’t even know
why I told you that!
I don’t want to admit...
but I’ve been having issues
with my partner Kelly-Anne
She’s been wonderful and 
patient. I love her so much.
My mental health has got
to the point where it’s affecting
our relationship... 
and I don't want that
I came out as non-binary
recently and she accepted
me straight away
and that made me super 
relieved because I was
worried about rejection.
But I’m constantly scared 
of losing Kelly-Anne
and I want to stop feeling that.
And… I guess I’ve been 
having a lot of disturbing
thoughts that
I don’t want… like…
so, do you think
you can help me?
Awrite?
