

Ryker

Book One in the Steel Brothers Series

Cheryl Douglas

Copyright © by Cheryl Douglas

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, including photocopying, graphic, electronic, mechanical, taping, recording, sharing, or by any information retrieval system without the express written permission of the author and / or publisher. Exceptions include brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Persons, places and other entities represented in this book are deemed to be fictitious. They are not intended to represent actual places or entities currently or previously in existence or any person living or dead. This work is the product of the author's imagination.

Any and all inquiries to the author of this book should be directed to: info@cheryldouglasbooks.com

Ryker © 2015 Cheryl Douglas

Smashwords License agreement

This ebook is for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase any additional copy for each reader. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author

Ryker

Mackenzie Steele assumed she'd be with her husband forever. He was her best friend, the father of her children. But when weeks turned into months without intimacy, she realized she was too young to feel so old. She wanted to feel desirable again, to find the woman Ryker had fallen in love with twenty years ago. And there was only one way she knew how to do that... by asking him to move out.

Ryker was blindsided when his wife told him she wanted to separate. He knew they'd hit a rough patch, but he'd never allowed himself to imagine his life without her. Now he had no choice. She was happy without him, living life on her own terms, and he knew if he didn't find a place for himself in her new life, it would be too late to save his marriage.

# Prologue

Mackenzie

SIX MONTHS EARLIER

I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. Sure, I'd thought them a thousand times over the past year, but I never thought I'd hear myself say them. But there they were, out in the open, hovering in the emptiness between us, demanding attention, acknowledgement... something.

"You think we should separate?" Ryker asked. "You want me to move out?"

I could hear the disbelief in my husband's voice. After seventeen years of marriage, almost twenty years together, he couldn't believe I was asking him to walk away.

"You had to know this was coming." I was sitting on the edge of the chair, unable to sit, unable to stand, unable to breathe. "It's not that I don't love you anymore." I reached for his hand but drew back when he glared at me. "You know I do."

"Don't," he said between clenched teeth. "Don't tell me you're just not in love with me anymore."

Was I? I didn't know anymore. He was still my best friend, the father of my two children. That's what made this so painful. I didn't dislike him. I didn't resent him. I just... didn't really know him anymore. Or myself for that matter.

I always thought it was so cliché when I'd heard couples say they'd grown apart after years together. I thought Ryker and I were different. That would never happen to us. We were too intense, too passionate, too much in love. But it had happened. And I didn't know how to fix it, or whether I even had the energy to try to repair the rift between us.

"Why?" His hands were clasped between his bent knees. He was looking at the ground, fixating on the Persian rug beneath his booted feet. "Why are you doing this?"

"We haven't had sex in six months, Ryker." I whispered the words even though our boys were down the street, hanging out with friends. I knew they could walk in at any moment. "I tried talking to you about it so many times. You just said you were tired or stressed about work or were paranoid about waking the kids."

"All of that was true!" He sighed, lowering his voice. "You know how hard I work, Mac."

"I know."

When I'd first met Ryker, he was a badass. A tattooed biker with a penchant for women and trouble. But we fell in love. I wanted to get married and he didn't want to lose me, so he proposed. I often wonder if he felt coerced. Especially when I got pregnant within the first year of marriage. He'd vowed to be a better man for the sake of his son. To leave that life behind and focus on providing for his family. And he'd come through. In a big way.

He was now the owner of a multi-million dollar company that made some of the most sought-after custom motorcycles in the world. His client list included Forbes wealthiest, A-list celebrities, and old money who wanted a taste of how the bikers lived.

I was so proud of him, but a part of me missed the carefree thrill-seeker he'd been before his life revolved around employing hundreds of people.

"What about counselling?"

I could tell by the way he posed the question that he'd rather undergo a tooth extraction. Men like Ryker didn't air their problems in public, especially with strangers. We'd been together for several years before he'd opened up enough to tell me about the house of horrors he'd grown up in. I knew a therapist would open that Pandora's box, assuming it was related to our current intimacy issues. Knowing he was willing to go through that for the sake of our marriage touched me, but I doubted it would help, and I refused to put him through that knowing the outcome would likely be the same.

"Do you really think it would help?"

He clenched one fist in the other without answering. "Maybe we should take a vacation, just the two of us. I bet your mom would stay with the kids if--"

"Ryker, are you still attracted to me?" It pained me to ask, but I had to know.

He shifted uncomfortably. "What kind of question is that?"

The fact that he couldn't look at me or answer me directly told me all I needed to know. My husband wasn't aroused by me anymore. That's why he didn't want to have sex with me. It was a serious blow to my ego, but I couldn't claim to be surprised.

I was nearing forty, and the boys' sports came before my manicures. There was more and more gray creeping into my ash-blond hair every day. I was carrying an extra twenty-five pounds, at least, and my wardrobe looked like the inside of a Lulu store. Comfy, that was my motto. Sexy was too much trouble, and apparently my marriage had suffered because of it.

But I knew it was more than my appearance. Ryker wasn't that shallow. I'd lost myself, stopped loving myself. So how could I expect him to love me?

"I just need time," I said, praying I wouldn't cry. "Maybe after we've been apart awhile--"

"You'll let me come back?"

He sounded so hopeful it almost made me question whether we could find our way back.

Looking at him now, I realized how unfair it was that he was sexier now than he'd been the day we met. He was over forty, but he was still muscular, thanks to the hours he spent in our home gym at the end of the day. The silver streaking his stylishly cut black hair made him look hot. His biker look had become refined, trendier. Now he wore Boss jeans with artful tears instead of grease stains, fitted button-down shirts under buttery leather jackets with tattoo-inspired graphics that rivalled those decorating his powerful arms. He was the face of Steele Choppers, the man behind the empire.

"I don't know what will happen, Ryker. I just know I can't go on like this. I'm not happy, and I know I'm not the only one." The fact that he didn't deny my claim told me he shared my pain.

"What are we going to tell the boys?"

"The truth." I pretended to be much calmer than I was. The thought of telling my kids that their dad, who they idolized, was moving out at my insistence terrified me. I didn't want them to turn on me, to tell me they were going to live with their dad instead of staying with me in the house they'd grown up in.

"I'm not even sure I know what the hell the truth is, Mac. So why don't you fill me in before we tell them?"

"We'll tell them--"

The door slammed, and our two sons, Zane and Cole, rushed in. At fourteen and fifteen, they were caught in the awkward phase between boys and young men. I feared the news we were about to impart would evoke tears, though they both claimed they were too old, too tough to cry.

They were their father's sons. Tall, both with black hair and piercing blue eyes, filling out in a way that hinted at the muscles to come. But to me, they were still my little boys. I'd sneak a kiss when I could, ruffle their hair when I woke them up in the morning, and tell them I loved them before they went to bed at night, even though they'd often roll their eyes instead of saying it back.

"Hey," Zane said, looking from me to his dad and back again. "What's going on?" He met Ryker's gaze, holding it for a beat before he asked, "What are you doing home so early, Dad? It's not even six."

Ryker cleared his throat before glancing at me. "Uh, your mom asked me to come home early. We had some things to talk about."

"Cool," Zane said. "What's for dinner? I'm starved."

"Homemade pizza," I said, knowing our news would quash their appetites. "Uh, sit down for a sec, guys. Your dad and I want to talk to you about something."

Ryker sent one more pleading look my way, silently begging me to reconsider, to give it more time, but I knew if I didn't speak my mind now, I'd live forever in this limbo, feeling unwanted, undesirable, hurt, and confused. I needed more. I thought I deserved more.

Zane and Cole sat down next to their dad. The three people I loved more than anything stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to deliver the words I knew would tear all of our lives apart.

"So, um, your dad and I have been talking." I rubbed my sweaty palms on the thighs of my cotton leggings. "And we've decided it would be best if he moved out for a while." I said for a while to soften the blow. My gut told me once Ryker got a taste of freedom, he wouldn't come back to me.

The boys' jaws dropped in unison before they gaped at each other.

Zane, the oldest, was the first to find his voice. "You guys are splitting? For real?"

"We're taking some time apart," Ryker said gently. "That doesn't mean I won't be moving back home someday."

I hated that Ryker was giving them false hope, but I understood. He was trying to ease their pain, perhaps mine as well. In spite of his faults, he'd always been a compassionate man, at least with his family.

"No," Cole said, shaking his head. "No way. Not you guys. You're tight."

I understood why our sons would think that. Ryker and I didn't argue very much. We still laughed and smiled when our eyes met. We attended all of our sons' sporting events together, hugged when he walked in at the end of a long day, even held hands in the car. But that was the extent of the intimacy we shared. We were just friends, and I wanted more. I wanted passion. I wanted someone to find me appealing again, to look at me the way Ryker used to.

Maybe I was going through a mid-life crisis. Could be I'd wake up tomorrow and have a panic attack when I realized what I'd done, but it was a chance I had to take. If I didn't, I'd spend the rest of my life living in the gray area, not happy but not sad. Not alive but not dead.

"Your mom and I will always be friends," Ryker said, reaching for my hand. "We'll always be a family. I don't want you guys to worry about that."

I loved Ryker for trying to make this easier on our kids, to present a united front, instead of telling them the truth, that I'd been the one to ask him to move out.

"Who will we live with?" Zane asked, crossing his arms over his midsection. "You or Mom?"

I was almost afraid Ryker would ask them who they wanted to live with. If it came down to it, I feared they may choose him over me. He was cool. He let them stay up late, drink out of the milk carton, and play video games instead of doing their homework. I was the boss, the disciplinarian, the bad guy.

"We'll figure things out," Ryker said, putting his arm around Zane, who was seated beside him. He grabbed the back of Cole's head at the same time. "This is new to all of us. We'll have to adjust. Maybe you'll spend weekends and one or two nights during the week with me."

It sounded like he was proposing joint custody, which I supposed would be better than losing my boys altogether. "Perhaps."

"Man, this sucks," Cole said, hanging his head.

Ryker closed his eyes, obviously trying to compose himself. "I know it does, buddy."

***

Ryker

Seeing my kids in pain was almost worse than the agony I was experiencing. I couldn't believe Mac didn't want me anymore. I'd built my life around this woman. I'd left behind a life of petty crime and running with the guys because I wanted to make her proud.

I built a successful business from the ground up, worked eighty hours a week in the early years because I wanted to give her and my kids everything they deserved. How had this happened? How had I let it happen?

"Where will you go?" Zane asked.

"I might just crash with your Uncle Nex for a bit until I can find my own place." I prayed it wouldn't come to that. I wanted to believe Mac would miss me after a few days and ask me to come back home. But judging by the blank expression on her face, I may have been expecting too much.

"I have a belt ceremony next week," Cole said. "You'll be there, won't you?"

Both boys were pursuing their black belts in karate. "Of course I'll be there." I raised an eyebrow at Mac, daring her to argue with me.

She may be able to kick me out of my own house, but I'd be damned if I let her challenge my right to be a part of my sons' lives. Not that I thought she would. She was a good woman. The best. And I was losing her. God, I'd been such an idiot, letting this rift between us get bigger instead of making more of an effort to repair it. Now it was too late.

"You guys have homework," Mac said. "Why don't you head downstairs and do it before dinner? I'd like to discuss a few more things with your dad."

Both boys gave me a tight hug and told me they loved me before they grabbed their backpacks and headed downstairs.

Mac waited until they were out of earshot before she said, "I packed a suitcase for you, Ryker. You'll find everything you need for a couple of days in there. I thought it would be best if you picked up the rest of your things when the boys are at school."

She wanted me to take all of my things? Damn. That couldn't be good. "Mac, we don't have to go through with this," I said, gripping her hand as panic tore through me. "Just because we told the boys we're separating doesn't mean--"

"We have to do this," she whispered, squeezing my hand. "I can't go on like this. I'm not happy, and I know you aren't either."

I wasn't happy. I missed the way it used to be, when we couldn't keep our hands off each other. But lately, I got the feeling my wife didn't want me to touch her, let alone make love to her, and I didn't know what to do about it.

"I don't want a divorce." I could barely spit out the word. It tasted vile and disgusting. "I still love you, Mackenzie. I live for you and those boys. You know that."

Her smile was sad when she brushed her hand over the ever-present stubble on my jaw. "I know that. You're a good man. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my children. Maybe I'm being selfish, breaking up my family, but I can't be a good mom to them if I'm not happy, Ryker. I've been sad, dissatisfied for so long. I need to figure out how to fix that. How to fix myself."

I wanted to argue, to make her believe I would do anything to help her, but I knew it was too late. She'd already made up her mind, and I was on my way out.

"Where do we go from here?" I gripped her hands between mine, kissing them. "I don't know how to do this. You've been a part of my life for so long. I can't remember what it was like before. I don't want to remember."

"I know." She eased down on her knees in front of me. "I know this will be hard for all of us. But maybe it'll be a good thing. Maybe we'll all be happier in the long run."

"I won't be." I knew I could never be happy without her in my life.

She hugged me tight, holding me close. "You are the best man I've ever known, Ryker Steele. And you have given me the best things that have ever happened to me... Zane and Cole."

"I feel the same way. I had no idea I could love so much until you made me a father." I buried my face in her hair so she wouldn't see my tears. I hadn't cried in years, not since the birth of my sons. "They completed me. You completed me." It was true. Without her, without them, something was missing, the very best part of myself.

"I hope you meant what you said to them, that we'd always be friends?"

She tried to pull away, but I couldn't let her. "Of course. You're my best friend, Mac. No matter what's happened, that's always been true." She'd helped me through some of the darkest times of my life: when my mother died, when I almost lost the business during a recession, and when my best friend and right-hand man was killed in a motorcycle accident that made me question everything. She was the one who helped me up when I would have stayed down.

"I feel the same way." She kissed my cheek, pulling away slowly when she felt my tears. Looking me in the eye, she brushed her palms over my cheeks. "Please don't cry. You'll make me cry." Even as she said it, tears slipped down her cheeks. "I'm afraid if I start, I may never be able to stop."

Funny, I felt exactly the same way. For the first time in a long time, we were totally in sync.

# Chapter One

Mackenzie

"I don't know why the hell I let you talk me into this," I said, smoothing my palm over my stomach to settle the butterflies. "I'm not ready to date. It's too soon."

My best friend since our freshman year of high school, Molly, rolled her eyes at me in the full-length mirror. "Ryker moved out six months ago. You've been working your butt off, literally, since then. It's time for you to get out there and show it off, girl."

My friend was right. I had been working hard at the gym. Every day. Tirelessly. I'd had to hire a trainer since I had no idea how to lift weights, and he'd patiently helped me develop a routine that banished the bingo wings that had always made me too self-conscious to wear tank tops.

"How much weight have you lost now?" she asked, filing her nails. "Twenty-five, thirty pounds?"

"Twenty-eight, last time I checked." Which had been yesterday. I had a love-hate relationship with the scale. I tried to keep it in the bathroom cabinet in the basement, but that didn't prevent me from running downstairs buck naked every other day to check my progress.

"That dress is a size freakin' four," Molly said, clapping. "I'm so proud of you. You've never looked hotter."

She was my best friend; she had to say that. But I had to admit, I did feel better about myself than I had in a really long time.

"Um, Mac, I have to tell you something, and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

I swung around to face her, knowing the news she was about to impart would be bad. I could always tell by the tone of her voice. "What is it?"

"I saw Ryker out for dinner with another woman last weekend." She held her breath, waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, she rushed on. "That's why I was on you about going out with this guy I work with. Why the hell should your ex be out with some blond bombshell while you're sitting at home, wasting the best years of your life?"

"Blond bombshell?" I whispered, touching my freshly highlighted hair. I thought the hairdresser went a little heavy on the light-blond highlights "to freshen up my look," she said. Now I suspected she'd made the right call. Ryker always said he didn't think my ash-blond hair made me look mousy, but now I had to wonder if he'd been trying to spare my feelings.

"Did they look close?" I could barely get the words out of my dry throat.

"Who knows?" Molly picked an invisible piece of lint off her black jeans. "You know Ryker. He's not into public displays of affection. But she was definitely into him."

"Was she...?" I knew I shouldn't torture myself this way. My life coach, who'd become like a surrogate mother to me since I split from Ryker, told me I had to focus less on his life and more on mine. But that was easier said than done since our lives had been intertwined for so many years. "Gorgeous?"

Molly wrinkled her nose, a clear sign she didn't want to answer. "Depends on your definition of gorgeous, I guess. Personally, I thought she was too made up, definitely trying too hard to impress him."

I groaned at my own reflection in the mirror. "What the hell do you call this?" I asked, gesturing to my tight black dress and sky-high heels.

"That is sexy, classy. There's definitely a difference." Pointing at my reflection in the mirror, she said, "Look at the way that smoky shadow makes your blue eyes pop and that pale pink lip gloss practically screams kiss me."

"What if I don't want him to kiss me?" I asked, sucking in my stomach as I turned to the side. I didn't have a paunch left, but old habits were hard to break.

"Trust me, you'll want him to kiss you." Molly winked. "He's hot."

"If he's so hot, why aren't you going out with him?"

Molly was recently divorced with no kids and nothing to keep her out of the dating pool, except for the fact she was too picky, claiming most men our age had to be retrained and were often more trouble than they were worth.

I consulted my watch when the doorbell rang. "Kyle's not due for another fifteen minutes. That must be Ryker picking up the kids."

"Go and answer it," Molly said in a stage whisper. "Let him see how hot you look."

"No! I don't want him to know I'm dating."

"Why the hell not?" Molly demanded. "He's dating."

She had a point. Before I could decide for myself, Zane stuck his head in the half-open door. "Holy shit, where are you going dressed like that?"

Feeling even more self-conscious, I frowned. "Language," I muttered, knowing that was a lost cause. "What's wrong? You don't like it?"

Molly giggled. "No teenager likes it when their mom looks hot."

"She's right," Zane muttered. "Uh, Dad wants to talk to you before he leaves. Something about next weekend."

"Tell him I'll be right there." I knew I had to show my face now, but I needed a minute to steel my courage first. "Oh God," I said, turning to face Molly. "I really don't want to do this. He's going to ask why I'm all dressed up, and I'm going to have to admit I'm dating again."

"Good." Molly grinned. "Let him know he's not the only one out having a good time."

The thought of Ryker out having a good time with some hot blonde propelled me forward. "Let's get this over with. I may need a glass of wine before Kyle gets here."

***

Ryker

"What the hell?"

They were Cole's words, but I echoed the sentiment. "Uh, you look great, Mac. Special occasion?"

"She has a date," Molly said in a sing-song voice. "Doesn't she look amazing, Ryker?"

A date? My gut clenched as I gripped the doorknob behind me. My wife was going out with another man and I was supposed to be fine with it? Hell no. "Guys, why don't you throw your stuff in the car?" I said, gesturing to their backpacks. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Bye, guys," Mac said, leaning in to hug them both. "Have fun with your dad this weekend."

I caught a whiff of her perfume, something flowery and unfamiliar. I hated it. It reminded me how much she'd changed in the past six months. She'd become someone I didn't even recognize. I couldn't deny she was smokin' hot, but the fact that she'd made all these changes to lure in another man made me feel nauseated.

"Bye, Mom," Zane said. "Have fun tonight."

"Yeah," Cole said, eyeing her dress and high heels. "But, uh, not too much fun, okay?"

Mac laughed, impressing the hard-on I'd been sporting since I caught sight of her. Thankfully the light was dim in the foyer and I was wearing black jeans, so hopefully it wouldn't be obvious.

"You have a date?" I said, clenching my teeth as my eyes travelled over her toned body.

I'd seen her in leggings and tunics every time I came to pick up the boys, so even though Zane mentioned she'd been working out with a trainer and had lost some weight, I had no idea she'd been hiding this body. She hadn't even been this tiny, this taut, when we met.

"I do," she said, smoothing a hand over her hip. "You think I look okay? This dress isn't too much, is it? I mean, you know, from a guy's perspective."

I curled my lip, practically growling as I spit out, "I'd say if anything, it's too little."

Molly giggled. "Somebody's jealous."

I glared at my wife's best friend. "A little privacy would be nice."

"I'll open that bottle of wine, Mac," she said, grinning at me. "Kyle should be here soon."

"Kyle?" I asked, closing my fists at my sides. "Who the hell is Kyle?"

"He's a friend of Molly's," she said, running a hand through her freshly styled hair.

God, she looked gorgeous. This Kyle was going to be tripping all over himself trying to get close to her. And I was completely helpless to stop it. Which I hated. I'd been trying to give her space to find herself, and I had to admit she did seem happier, but I didn't want some other guy to be the reason.

"A friend of Molly's?" I repeated. "That's supposed to make me feel better?" Molly was a bit of a wild child, always looking to lead Mac astray.

"Ryker, we're separated, remember? We have been for six months. We're both free to date other people."

I should have known Molly would have told her about the blonde I'd been out with last week. One of my brothers fixed us up and it was a train wreck from start to finish, mainly because I didn't want to be there and she could tell.

Before I could argue the point, the doorbell rang. I turned to see some dude with dark-blond hair wearing a black suit and carrying a bouquet of flowers. Flowers? Seriously? How much worse could this get?

"Oh, that must be my date," Mac said, pushing past me. "God, he's early. Ryker, shouldn't you be going? The kids are waiting for you in the car."

"I'm not going anywhere until I meet him." I didn't know why I was torturing myself. Maybe I was hoping he'd be intimidated and back the hell off.

Mac cursed softly, glaring at me over her shoulder, before she opened the screen door and forced a smile. "You must be Kyle. It's so nice to meet you."

"Oh wow," he said. "Molly said you were pretty, but I didn't expect you to be so... incredible."

I was going to kill this little bastard.

Mac laughed lightly, taking the flowers he offered. "Thank you. Um, Kyle, this is my ex--"

"Her husband," I said, thrusting out my hand. "Ryker Steele."

"Your husband?" he asked, shooting a glance at Mac.

"We're separated," Mac said, glaring at me. "He's just here to pick up our kids for the weekend."

"Oh." He seemed relieved until I gripped his hand hard enough to make him wince. He withdrew his hand, flexing it at his side. "If you guys need a few more minutes, I can wait in the car. I know I'm early."

"Good idea," I said.

At the same time, Mac said, "That's not necessary. Ryker was just leaving."

"I need to talk to you about next weekend."

"We can talk about it when you drop the kids off Sunday afternoon," she said, touching my forearm with a warning smile. "Okay?"

Before I could respond, Molly came out of the kitchen, wine glass in hand. "Oh hey, Kyle. I didn't know you were here." She walked up to him, lifting her cheek for a kiss. "Nice to see you."

"I didn't know you'd be here," Kyle said. "Had I known, I would have brought you flowers for setting me up with..." He cleared his throat when he caught my eye.

"Why are you here?" I asked Molly. "Shouldn't you be home, grading papers or something?" Molly was a first grade teacher, not that you'd know it to look at her. There was nothing demure about her.

"It's Friday night," she said, rolling her eyes at me. "I have all weekend to work. Besides, I teach first grade. It's not like I have to grade algebra tests."

"Doesn't answer my question," I said. "Why are you here?"

"Why is it any of your business?" she asked, taking a sip of her wine. "You don't live here anymore, Ryker."

I'd always had that kind of relationship with Molly. Antagonistic. She thought I was trying to stifle Mac, and I thought she was trying to corrupt her. Push and pull. Push and pull. Only it seemed Molly had come out the winner in the tug of war because her relationship with Mac hadn't changed while mine most definitely had.

"You look familiar," Kyle said, tipping his head as he looked at me. "Where have I seen you before?"

"Probably on TV," Molly supplied. "He has a bunch of clients with reality shows. Sometimes he makes guest appearances to deliver their bikes."

"That's right," he said, snapping his fingers. "Ryker Steele. Steele Custom Choppers, right?"

"Give the man a gold star." I saw Mac shooting dirty looks at me, but I didn't care.

"Ryker," Mac said finally, grabbing the sleeve of my leather jacket. "You're leaving now. Good night."

She ushered me outside and was about to slam the door in my face when I tugged on her hand, pulling her hard against my chest. "You look amazing, but it'll be wasted on him. You should be going out with me instead."

"Ryker," she said, tipping her head back, "don't do this. Please."

I know she thought I was playing a game, trying to lure her in just because I didn't want someone else to have her. But that couldn't have been further from the truth. I'd never stopped wanting her, and I knew if I didn't find a way to prove it to her soon, she'd find someone else and make our separation legal and permanent.

I closed the door, giving us some privacy. Fortunately, we were shielded from my Escalade in the driveway, so the boys wouldn't witness our exchange and start asking questions I couldn't answer.

"This is killing me," I whispered, grazing Mac's cheek with mine. "Watching you go out with someone else. It's wrong." I gripped her waist. "Can't you see that, Mac? We belong together."

"If you believed that, you wouldn't have been out with another woman."

Damn it. I knew that would come back to bite me. I was going to kill Nex when I saw him. "That was a one-time thing. I don't plan to see her again. Ever."

"Well maybe I won't be seeing Kyle again," she said, her voice soft, her back to the door. "I don't know. What I do know is that I need to figure things out for myself. Since we split, I've changed. And I like who I'm becoming."

"Do you think I would try to prevent you from changing or growing?" I asked, my frustration mounting. This was the first time since I'd left that we'd talked about our relationship. We'd kept it cordial, always about the boys, never about us. "I want you to be happy. I'd do anything to make you happy."

She hugged me for the first time in forever, and I never wanted to let her go.

"I know you do, but I don't know if we can make each other happy anymore. Maybe we've just grown too far apart, lost too much ground."

"I don't believe that." The irony wasn't lost on me. The reason our marriage had ended was because we'd lost the intimacy. Now I wanted nothing more than to drag her into our bedroom and make love to her until she never wanted me to leave. That's when it hit me, nearly bringing me to my knees. "You can't sleep with another man in our bed." I held her face in my hands. "Promise me you won't." Now that she had the weekends to herself and was back in the dating game, anything was possible.

She wrapped her hands around mine, trying to tug them away. "It's not our bed, it's mine, and you don't have the right to tell me what to do anymore."

"What the hell are you saying?" I asked, feeling my panic collide with rage. "That you'd let another man screw you in the bed you shared with me?"

"This isn't fair," she said, her voice breaking as she stepped back. "I'm trying to move on with my life, and you won't let me."

"Because I don't want you to!"

Cole must have heard me shouting because he opened the door and said, "Come on, Dad. We're gonna miss the game."

"Just go," Mac said, gesturing toward the truck. "Go. Have fun with your sons. Don't worry about me. I can take care of myself."

I wanted to grab her, haul her against my chest, wrap my arms around her, and refuse to let go until she admitted she was still in love with me, but I knew this wasn't the time or place, so I said, "About next weekend..."

"What about it?" she asked, turning to face me with her hand on the door.

"Zane has his belt ceremony next weekend. I know he'd like us both to be there."

"Of course I'll be there," Mac said, looking affronted. "I'm his mother."

"I thought it would be nice if we could go out for dinner to celebrate, you know, as a family. I think it would mean a lot to him." To me too.

"Um..." She looked uncertain but finally said, "Sure, that would be nice. We can talk more about it when you drop the boys off. Have a nice weekend."

I didn't tell her to enjoy her evening because I was hoping she wouldn't. I knew it was petty, but I wanted her to have such a miserable time she wouldn't even want to consider dating again.

When I got in the truck, Cole was in the front seat, playing games on his iPad, and Zane was in the back, listening to his iPod with earbuds.

"So that's the guy she's going out with?" Cole asked. "Looked like a douche. I don't think you have anything to worry about, Dad."

I snickered at my son's description of Mac's date. She would have reprimanded him for using foul language, but I thought his description was appropriate under the circumstances. "I'm not worried," I said, buckling my seatbelt.

"You're not worried because you know he's not a threat or you don't care that Mom's dating again?" Cole asked.

I hadn't talked to the boys about where things stood since I moved out. Mainly because there was no good news to report, but I wanted them to know I wasn't giving up on putting our family back together again.

"I care," I said, backing out of the driveway as I rolled my eyes at the late-model Ford Focus parked beside me. "I'll always care about your mother. You know that."

"That's not what I mean." Cole flipped his iPad over, stretching his long legs out in front of him. "I mean, does it bother you that she's out with some other dude tonight?"

"Do you think it should?" I smirked at my son. "You saw him, right? You think I should be worried?"

"No, but..." Cole shifted in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "What happens when she meets someone she is into? You think she'll ask you for a divorce?"

I knew Cole had every right to be curious, but the question hit me like a sledgehammer. "I don't intend to let that happen, kid."

"So you are gonna step up your game?" Zane popped the earbuds out of his ears. Apparently he'd been eavesdropping. "'Cause we were starting to think maybe you were over Mom."

"Definitely not." I curled my hand around the steering wheel. "I'll never be over her."

# Chapter Two

Mackenzie

I smiled politely as Kyle told me about his mother's hip replacement surgery, wondering why he thought I would be interested. Did it look like I needed a new hip?

"So your ex-husband," he said after his second glass of wine, "he's a pretty big dude."

Kyle was younger than me, only five years according to Molly, but it may as well have been twenty for all we had in common. Starting with his overuse of the word dude. He reminded me of one of my sons.

"I guess he is," I said, reaching for my wine glass. I was still nursing my first glass since I had a feeling I may be the designated driver tonight.

"What is he, like six-two, two-twenty?"

I frowned, unable to suppress the biting comment. "I don't know. I didn't go into the bathroom with him when he weighed himself."

He laughed, almost spewing his wine across the table. Classy guy.

"Is that tough guy act all for show or what?"

"No, it's not." I suspected it may work to my advantage if he was intimidated by Ryker since I already knew I never wanted to hear from him again.

"So he's a real bad ass, huh?"

"You could say that."

When we were younger, Ryker had been the very definition of an outlaw, but he'd worked hard at controlling his temper and cleaning up his image since the boys were born, claiming he wanted to set a good example for them.

"Yeah," he said, smoothing his hand over his tie. "He seemed kind of pissed that we were out together tonight. He knows I work with Molly. You don't think he'll show up at the school and try to rough me up, do you?"

I couldn't help but smile at the picture he painted. The old Ryker would have without thinking twice, but the new Ryker was too dignified for that. He was a father first, a business man second. He wouldn't risk his business or his reputation on someone like Kyle.

"I don't think you have to worry about that." I pulled my cell phone out of my purse when it buzzed. "Sorry, it must be one of the boys calling from Ryker's place. I have to answer it."

"No problem," he said, reaching for the wine bottle to refill his glass.

"Hello."

"Hey, Mom," Cole said. "We forgot our house key. Can you drop off the spare?"

The boys knew I always carried a spare house key in my wallet in case I lost my keys. I was forever losing things: my cell phone, keys, wallet, purse, anything that wasn't nailed down.

"Why do you need the key?" I asked. "I should be there when you get home on Sunday."

"We need to come back to the house tomorrow morning to pick up some homework we forgot. Don't you have an appointment with your trainer at eleven o'clock?"

"Yeah."

"Dad's taking us to the basketball game, then we have karate, so we have to pick up that homework in the morning. We'll have to get it done tomorrow night."

"Um..." I tried to work out the logistics, since I wouldn't feel comfortable letting my date drive home in his condition. "Just let me talk to Kyle, figure out what our plans are, and I'll text you back to let you know."

"But you will drop the key off, right?"

"If not, I'll just drop the homework off on my way to the gym in the morning."

"No!"

"Why not?" I asked, smiling politely at Kyle who was eating his steak like I imagined Hannibal Lector would have.

"Cause, uh, you don't know what we need."

"You can tell me," I said, trying to maintain my composure. My sons loved to push my buttons, and I had a feeling this call had more to do with interrupting my date than their desire to get their homework. "Or maybe your dad can drop you off a bit earlier on Sunday and you can do it then."

"Not gonna work."

"Why not?"

"We've got plans with Dad on Sunday."

Since I knew this back-and-forth could go on indefinitely, I said, "Fine, I'll text you in a bit and let you know what's going on."

"Mom, we need that key. Tonight."

"Later, Cole."

"Problems?" Kyle asked before digging into his baked potato. "I know how difficult boys that age can be. I teach eighth grade, remember? Some days I just want to throttle the little bastards."

"Guess you won't be winning any Teacher of the Year awards, huh, Kyle?"

He laughed uproariously as though I'd been trying out a stand-up routine. "I'm just in it for the vacations and pension."

"Glad you don't teach my kids," I muttered. I knew it wouldn't matter what I said to him at this point, since it was obvious we would never be seeing each other again.

"Hey, I'm not a bad teacher," he said, shaking his steak knife at me. "You just gotta know how to keep 'em in line. You show any sign of weakness, and they'll beat you down!"

I reached for my napkin when a drop of his steak juice landed on my chin. Lovely. "I'm sure you're a stellar teacher. The kids must love you." Like a character on my favorite sitcom, the fine art of sarcasm was lost on this man.

"I didn't want to be a teacher."

"You don't say," I said, reaching for my water glass.

"My mother talked me into it."

"Interesting." I wanted to kill Molly for subjecting me to this. "What did you want to be, an astronaut or a physicist?"

He pondered my question, as though those had actually been reasonable options. "I wanted to be a fishing guide."

"Huh." I didn't want to ask him to elaborate. I just wanted this night to end. "Well, I really should be going."

He glanced at the food still on my plate. "Aren't you gonna eat that?"

"No, do you want it?"

He shrugged before reaching across the table to grab my plate. I watched him dump the contents of my plate onto his while offering a tight smile to the little silver-haired lady sitting next to us. She was shaking her head, her lips pursed. I couldn't say I blamed her. I felt the same way.

"Blind date," I whispered to her, shuddering.

She shook her head in understanding before turning her attention back to her dinner companion.

"So, as I was saying, I have to go. My kids need me to drop the house key off for them." He was so engrossed in the pasta he'd lifted from me, I wasn't even sure he'd heard. "Don't worry about me," I said, though I knew he wasn't. "I can take a cab. You should probably think about doing the same."

"Why?" he asked before shoving a wedge of bread into his mouth.

I gestured to the wine bottle between us. "You've had a few glasses of wine."

"I don't need a cab," he said. "I can just call my mom to pick me up."

Lord help me. "Okay, well then, it was nice to meet you, Kyle." I would have offered my hand, but I was afraid he'd take a bite out of it.

"Yeah, you too," he said, reaching for the wine glass I'd abandoned. He poured the rest of my wine into his glass. "We should do this again sometime."

"Hmm." I reached into my purse and tossed a few bills on the table. I wasn't surprised he didn't try to stop me. My contribution would allow him to order another course.

***

By the time I arrived on Ryker's doorstep, I was tired and pissed. I still couldn't believe my so-called best friend would set me up with a loser like that. I'd tried calling her from the cab, but she wouldn't pick up. The coward.

"Hey," Ryker said, opening the door.

Oh my God. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Why wasn't he wearing a shirt? "Um, Cole called about the key." I held it between my fingers. "Can you give it to him?"

He looked past me, zeroing in on the cab in his driveway. "Why'd you take a cab?"

"Don't ask," I said, shaking my head.

He grinned. "That bad, huh?"

"Worse."

"Hold up a minute," he said, reaching into the pocket of his low-slung, faded jeans. "Let me take care of your driver."

"Uh, wait," I said, grabbing his bicep. Big mistake. I'd forgotten how hard Ryker was. His biceps. How hard his biceps were, because I definitely was not thinking about other parts of his anatomy. Okay, maybe I was, but only because his happy trail was on full display. Well, maybe not full display, but definitely partial display. "You don't have to do that."

"Sure, I do," he said, his eyes travelling to the hand still wrapped around his arm. "I can't let you stiff her."

Stiff? Like a puppet on a string, my head dropped forward, zeroing in on the happy trail I'd been ogling, and sure enough, he was hard. Damn it. Why did he have to be so sexy?

"I'll take you home."

"Are the boys sleeping?" I asked, praying they weren't. I needed them to act as chaperones so I wouldn't jump their father.

"Yeah."

"You shouldn't leave them alone." I knew I was grasping. Zane had just turned sixteen and had already started bugging us about getting a car now that he had his learner's permit and test scheduled.

Half of Ryker's luscious mouth tipped up. "I'm sure they'll be fine. We won't be long." His eyes drifted over my body in what could only be described as a thorough examination before he licked his lips. "Unless you wanna invite me in?"

Oh God. I'd almost forgotten how potent Ryker could be when he turned on the charm. "Um, I..." I didn't realize my mouth was hanging open until he set his fingers under my chin to gently close it.

I could hear his chuckle all the way down the driveway. Insufferable man. I stood at the door, watching the female taxi driver ogle him like he was a cherry lollipop she wanted to suck on.

By the time he came back to the door, he was looking so smug, I had to say something to wipe the smile off his face. "Looks like you've put on a few pounds, Ryker." I was lying through my teeth. He still had a six pack that made me want to glide my tongue over every inch of his body, paying extra attention to my name colorfully tattooed on his chest.

He patted his flat stomach, the smile back in place. "Must be all the takeout. Being a bachelor sucks."

I used to love cooking for him, mainly because he was so appreciative. His mother considered TV dinners a gourmet delight, so he'd never had real food until he met me. "That's no excuse," I teased. "You're the grill master, remember?"

We shared a smile as I remembered all the family barbeques in our backyard. The boys would have friends over, they'd splash around in the pool all day, and Ryker would fire up the grill before the boys started to harass him about his days in a gang. He always corrected them, insisting it was a motorcycle club, but they weren't stupid.

"Do you ever miss it?" he asked, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Of course I do." I'd be lying if I pretended otherwise, and Ryker always claimed I was a terrible liar. "We had a lot of good times together, you, me, and the boys."

"The best of my life."

My heart ached because I knew he meant it. He hadn't had it easy growing up, and the boys and I had given him the family and stability he'd always wanted.

"You're an amazing dad," I said, touching the stubble on his jaw with my fingertips. Just the feel of it elicited a flood of memories, like what it felt like brushing my skin when he kissed me all over. "The kids are so lucky to have you."

Since the separation, he'd made even more of an effort to be there for them, often calling them at night to ask about their day at school or how a big game had gone. Cole played basketball and ran track. Zane played soccer and baseball. Both were considering football, but I wasn't thrilled with the prospect.

"They're lucky to have you too." He reached for my hand, taking the key I'd forgotten I still held. "You look amazing, Mac."

I was surprised by the shift in conversation, but I didn't want to reveal how much the compliment affected me. When we were together, I would have given anything for him to look at me the way he was now. Like he thought I was still the sexiest, most desirable woman he'd ever seen.

"Thank you. It's been a lot of hard work, but worth it. I feel better about myself than I have in a long time."

"It shows." He ran the tip of the key down my arm, watching its slow descent. "You've got that sparkle back in your eyes."

I saw it too. I used to look in the mirror and see the lifeless expression of a woman who'd lost herself. Now I saw curiosity, interest, and pride again. I was slowly but surely finding my way back to the woman Ryker fell in love with. Not that I was doing this for him. I was doing this for me. And my kids. So I could be a better, happier mother. They deserved that. I knew it wouldn't be long before they went off to college, and I didn't want their last years with me to be riddled with arguments because I didn't like myself.

"You must be cold," he said when the breeze kicked up to rustle the leaves on the trees.

"Me?" I asked, gesturing to his bare chest. "You're the one without a shirt." I couldn't help but ask, "What happened to it, by the way?"

"I just got out of the shower when you rang the doorbell. Barely had time to throw these jeans on." He tugged on one of his belt loops, and I noticed he wasn't wearing a belt. His black boxer briefs peeked out above the waistband, making my mouth water.

"You wanna come in and have a drink before I take you home?"

I knew I shouldn't, but I wasn't ready to go home to an empty house. I wanted to spend more time with Ryker, the man who'd been my best friend for the better part of the last two decades.

# Chapter Three

Ryker

Curling up on the couch with Mac again, enjoying a cold beer while she sipped wine, reminded me of the best years of my life, when we used to talk until the sun came up about anything and everything. But mostly about our dreams for the future. All of those dreams had come true, but I never imagined we wouldn't be together to enjoy the rewards of our labor.

It pained me to see her looking so gorgeous, yet knowing I couldn't take her to bed to remind her that she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. I would give anything, everything, I owned to make love to her one more time. To tell her that I loved her, would always love her because she was the reason I was still here, living such a blessed life, with a thriving business and two sons any man would be proud of. The only thing missing was her, and that left a gaping hole nothing and no one else could fill.

"Why do you still wear this?" she asked, reaching for my left hand. She slid her finger over the narrow gold band.

"I'm still a married man." I said it as though it should have been obvious. "I told you I'd never take it off, and I never intend to." My eyes fell to her left hand. I noticed she'd taken her rings off weeks ago. Seeing her hand bare after so many years of having my ring on it gutted me.

"I'm sorry," she said, withdrawing her hand from mine. "It's not that I wanted to take it off. I just figured it would be weird wearing it if I was going to start dating again."

My grip on the beer bottle tightened as I brought it to my lips. "So this dating thing... tonight wasn't a one-and-done kinda deal?"

"I don't know, Ryker." She wrapped her hands around her wine glass. "I'm so confused."

"About what?"

I wanted to believe she missed me as much as I missed her and was confused about whether she should ask me to move back home. I'd bought another house, but I told myself it was a good investment. I could rent it out when I returned home to my wife and kids, where I belonged.

"I'm thinking about my career options. The boys are getting older now. They don't need me to be home as much."

"Oh." I hadn't expected that. Mackenzie had always felt blessed that she'd been able to be a stay-at-home mom instead of having to balance a full-time job and active family. "I'm looking for a new office manager."

"What happened to Sandy?" she asked, referring to the human glue that had always held my business together.

"She's retiring." It pained me just to think about losing her, but I knew I should be happy for her. She and her husband were finally going to start travelling, something they'd been talking about doing for years. "Next month, in fact. So, if you're serious about a job, it's yours." I would love nothing more than going into work every morning, knowing that she'd be there waiting for me.

"That's sweet of you to offer," she said, touching my shoulder. "But I don't think it would be a good idea, us working together."

"Why not?" I reached for the wine bottle on the table to refill her glass. "We've always made a great team."

She smiled, a combination of sad and wistful. "There were some amazing years, weren't there?" She stretched her legs out in front of her and tipped her head back on the sofa. "I remember when we couldn't keep our hands off each other."

I leaned my head against hers, whispering, "Newsflash--I'm having a hard time keeping my hands off you right now."

She laughed, slapping my arm. "You just wanna get laid."

"No," I said, running my hand up her arm. "I want to make love to my gorgeous wife."

"Ryker," she said on a groan, "you know how hard it is to resist you when you say things like that."

"That's what I'm counting on." I kissed her shoulder. Though there was thin fabric between my lips and her skin, I knew she felt it as acutely as I did. "I still want you, Mac. That's never gonna change."

"We used to sleep side by side every night, and you never even tried to touch me," she said, blinking away the tears. "What's changed? Is it because I've lost some weight? Is that why you're attracted to me again? If I gain a few pounds back, will your interest wane?"

God, I couldn't believe she thought her weight had anything to do with my attraction to her. I wouldn't care if she gained fifty pounds, I'd still love her. "I didn't think you wanted me to touch you," I admitted. "Every time I tried, you pulled away." I shrugged. "Eventually, I guess I just stopped trying."

She looked at me, obviously considering my response. "I guess I felt self-conscious." Her eyes skated over my abs, renewing my arousal. "You've always been in such great shape, and I kind of let myself go after the boys were born. Five pounds led to ten, and before I knew it, it was twenty-five."

"Who cares? Weight's just a number, baby. I always thought you were beautiful."

"But I didn't feel beautiful, Ryker." Her voice broke, prompting her to take a sip of wine. "I felt like I'd let you down. Hell, I felt like I let myself down."

"What are you talking about?"

We'd never had this conversation before, and it made me realize I should have pressed harder when I felt her pulling away. If I had, we could have been having this conversation at home, in our bed, instead of on a couch in a house I never should have bought.

"I loved the way things were between us in the beginning, so hot, so intense." She smiled at the memory. "We couldn't get enough of each other. It's a small miracle we don't have ten kids instead of two."

"I wouldn't have minded ten," I said, smiling. "Aside from you, being a father's the best thing that ever happened to me."

She grinned before gripping my bicep. "You're an amazing dad. Our kids couldn't have asked for better."

I loved that she felt I'd been a good father to our kids. As far as I was concerned, it was the most important job I'd ever had, and I couldn't be more proud of the way our sons were turning out.

When I was growing up, other bikers were my family, and it made me realize that if I ever had a family of my own, I'd always be there for them, not like my buddies' deadbeat dads who'd been little more than sperm donors. And my old man. Hell, I couldn't even stand to think about him.

"We were talking about what happened between us," I reminded her. I knew we needed to have these conversations if we had any hope of finding our way back to each other. "When we started to drift apart."

"I don't know that I can pinpoint when," she said, setting the base of her wineglass on her flat stomach as she stretched out farther. "I guess we just stopped working on our relationship. When the kids were young, we had date nights. Then they got older and involved in their own activities, and that became the priority."

I'd been so focused on giving my kids everything I never had growing up, I never stopped to question whether my wife was getting everything she needed. I thought if she had the nice house and clothes and car, she'd be content.

I'd come home after work every night instead of carousing in bars, so I'd convinced myself I was a good husband. It didn't matter that I'd sit at one end of the couch while she sat at the other or that I'd have my phone clutched in my hand so I could respond to emails or texts as soon as they came in. At least I was there. I'd really believed that was enough. I could see now how wrong I'd been to believe she didn't deserve more.

"I made a lot of mistakes," I acknowledged. "I should have told you I loved you more." I couldn't remember the last time I'd told her I loved her before the day she asked me to move out. I thought it every time I looked at her, silently thanked God for her every night when my head hit the pillow, but I realized that wasn't the same as telling her or showing her.

"I made a lot of mistakes too," she said, sighing. "Believe me, you weren't the only one."

"What's your biggest regret?" I asked, hoping it would be asking me to move out.

"Not making more time for myself. As a mom, you just kind of get used to putting your family first. But before you know it, you've lost sight of who you are as a person. You don't have your own identity anymore." She tipped her head to look at me. "You know exactly who you are, always have. That's one of the things I've always admired most about you."

While I appreciated her praise, I couldn't let her think I had it all figured out. I didn't. Far from it. "I don't know about that, Mac. I'd lost my way plenty of times. Got off track when it came to the business, questioned when to expand, whether to take the TV deal when the network offered, how much to delegate." I sighed. "Whether you realize it or not, you kept me sane during those years."

"I appreciate you saying that," she said, her lips tipping up in a soft smile. "I never felt I contributed much. You were the one working hard, stressing out, bringing in all this money, and I worried that I never really pulled my weight."

"Honey, coming home to you and the boys every night was the bright spot at the end of some pretty crazy days. Without you, I don't know that I would have had the strength to build the business, so don't question how much you contributed. You're the reason there's still a Steele Custom Choppers. You gave me the will to fight instead of giving up." I took a risk and reached for her hand, feeling the warmth spread through me when she linked her slim fingers through mine. Holding hands was such a simple gesture, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt more at peace. "I wanted to make you proud of me."

"I was proud of you," she said quickly. "I hope you know that. I'll never forget the first time I went to one of those trade shows with you. They treated you like royalty. That's when I realized how important you were to that community."

There was a flash of something in her big blue eyes, and because I knew her as well as I knew myself, I couldn't let it go. "You never wanted to come to many of the shows with me though. Why was that?"

She slipped her hand from mine before smoothing a hand over her stomach. "Those girls..." She shuddered. "Those gorgeous models the manufacturers used to hire to draw attention to their booth..."

"What about them?" I asked, frowning. I'd seen so many girls like that over the years, they were like mannequins to me now, window dressings.

"The way they flirted with you made me feel sick."

"What?" I sat up, trying to gauge whether she was serious. God, she was. "You don't think I was into those girls, do you?"

"I can't deny I wondered if you found them attractive." She rolled her eyes before draining the contents of her glass. "How could you not, right? They were centerfold gorgeous. Kind of like the girl you went out with last week, huh?"

I now realized agreeing to go out on that date was one of the biggest mistakes I could have made. Instead of putting my family back together, I was making stupid choices that drove us further apart.

"I told you, Mac, I wasn't into that woman I went out with, and I sure as hell have never been interested in any of those models at the shows." I smacked my forehead with my palm, chastising myself for being so dense. "I can't believe that's the reason you stopped coming to the shows with me."

Those shows had given us an opportunity to get away alone together while Mac's parents watched the boys for us. That alone time could have helped us to stay connected.

"It wasn't your fault I felt that way," she said, setting her hand on my thigh. "They were my issues, Ryker. My insecurities. I know you never would have cheated on me..."

She let the sentence hang in the air, and I knew she was waiting for confirmation. "Baby, since the first time I made love to you twenty years ago, there has never been another woman. I swear to you."

She bit her lip, her eyes downcast. "We've been apart a while. You really haven't been with anyone else?"

"Never even tempted."

The fact she even had to ask highlighted how far apart we were. If she thought, even for a second, that I could have sex with another woman while wearing her wedding ring, I'd let her forget the kind of man I was. I didn't make commitments quickly or easily, but when I did, I was all in, for life.

"You remember how long it took for me to convince your dad I was good enough for you?" I asked, deciding to change tactics.

She laughed. "About two years. My daddy said he'd kill me if I married some outlaw biker who probably sold drugs."

Her father, Bill, was a cop who decided he hated me on sight. It took a long time for him to see past my gruff exterior, but once he did, he'd become the father I'd never had. Losing him to cancer four years ago had been as hard on me as it had on Mac and the kids.

"I loved that man," I said, lowering my head to hide the sheen in my eyes.

"He loved you too," Mac said, squeezing my thigh. "He'd hate seeing us like this, living apart. He'd tell me how disappointed he was in me for not trying harder to save my marriage."

Her softly spoken words hit me like a fist in the gut. "We can still save our marriage, Mac. It's not too late." I couldn't let myself believe it was too late. The only thing that had gotten me through the last six months without her was the hope that we could not only rebuild our marriage, but that it would be better and stronger than ever.

***

Mackenzie

I knew what Ryker wanted to hear, but giving him false hope seemed cruel. I didn't know if we could ever put our marriage back together again. I had to admit, talking to him like this reminded me of how amazing things had been between us once, but that was a long time ago. We were different people now.

"Being apart has been good for me," I said, trying to ignore the flash of pain in his light blue eyes. "I feel stronger than I have in a really long time." I knew he might think it was silly, but I decided to tell him my secret. "I've been working with a life coach."

"A life coach?" he asked, frowning. "Seriously?" Ryker was old-school. He believed in solving his problems on his own and wasn't big on sharing his feelings with anyone, even me.

"Yeah. She helped me figure some things out. She's a lovely person. Very positive and upbeat, and honestly, I needed more positive energy in my life."

"Okay." He shook his head, still not looking convinced. "So I assume this life coach has helped you. How?"

"She's helped me figure out who I am, aside from being a wife and mother."

His eyes met mine, and I suddenly felt breathless, especially when his gaze dropped to my lips. "I love that you still think of yourself that way, as my wife."

"I am." Even if we got a divorce, I would have a hard time imagining myself as anyone other than Mackenzie Steele. "We're not divorced." I rubbed my bare finger. "We're not even legally separated." I hated that I'd allowed Molly to talk me into taking my wedding rings off. Not only did I feel naked without them, like a married woman masquerading as a bachelorette, but I could tell how much it hurt Ryker to think I was giving up on us.

"If I have my way, we never will be." He leaned in closer, treating me to a whiff of that spicy cologne he always put on when he got out of the shower. "You're not the only one who's changed in the past six months, Mac. I have too."

"How?" I knew if I was capable of change, so was Ryker. But I still hadn't seen any evidence of it, so I was skeptical.

According to the boys, he still worked hard, drove too fast, watched sports with them, and holed up in his garage to tinker with his motorcycles while they talked on the phone or did homework. Sounded like the same old Ryker to me.

"I've never been clearer about what I want and what I don't want."

"Okay." I wanted to hear what he had to say, but I was scared too. It would be too easy to fall in love with Ryker all over again, to believe that we'd changed and could finally have our happily ever after, only to be disappointed when I realized nothing had changed.

"I don't want to be alone."

I knew we'd had a nice, comfortable life together. Home-cooked meals every night, the kids' sporting events on weekends, TV in the evenings. But it wasn't enough for me anymore.

I wanted a man who kissed me passionately, who complimented me once in a while and didn't roll his eyes when I suggested going to a concert or taking an impromptu vacation. I wanted hot sex before I got too old to remember what hot sex felt like.

I wanted to feel alive again, like I wasn't just going through the motions but was really living and breathing and loving and laughing and sharing my life with my soul mate. That was the real problem. I wasn't sure if Ryker was my soul mate anymore.

"Being alone isn't easy," I agreed. "But you'll get used to it."

"I don't want to get used to it. I want to be with you and the kids."

It was difficult to tell which Ryker missed more: being my husband, my lover, or a full-time dad to his kids. I knew I had to figure that out before I decided whether my marriage was worth saving. I didn't want to be one of those couples who stayed together for the sake of their kids, and maybe that made me selfish. But I wanted to be one of those couples who loved each other so much they couldn't keep their hands off each other, the way it had been for us when the boys were small.

"I want my life back, Mac. I loved our life together."

"What did you love about it?" I could tell the question caught him off guard, but we needed to be able to step out of bounds and learn to communicate in a way we never had before.

"What do you mean?" He set a hand behind my head, and I couldn't help being fascinated by the play of hard muscle. "I loved everything about it."

"Be honest," I said, hoping we could have this conversation without one or both of us getting our feelings hurt. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him, but I couldn't continue lying to myself either. "I'm sure there were things you loved about our life together, but there must have been a lot of things you didn't like too."

I set my wine glass aside. Even though I'd only had a couple of glasses, I wanted to be clear-headed for this conversation so I wouldn't forget a single word in the morning.

"I liked the way you could always make me laugh," he said with a smile as he set his calloused hand on my knee. "I liked knowing you'd always be there for me, no matter what."

I knew he'd meant it as a compliment, but it felt like he'd been taking me for granted. But I couldn't blame him entirely. I knew I'd taken him for granted too. This wasn't his fault, and it wasn't my fault. It was our fault, and we needed to figure out how to fix it. Together. If that was even possible.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked, combing his fingers through my hair and settling his large hand on the back of my neck.

"No. Go on." I closed my eyes when he began to knead the tense muscles in the back of my neck. I'd been hungry for his touch for such a long time. It was hard not to react after so much time without it.

"I liked those sounds you made when I kissed your neck." He inched closer, and my breath hitched.

"Ryker."

I set my hands on his shoulders, hoping it would serve as a silent warning that we couldn't let this go any further. It would be wonderful to fall back into bed with him, to make love the way we used to, but he would think that meant we were getting back together, and I was nowhere near ready for that. I didn't know if I ever would be.

He dipped his head, inhaling my perfume. "I liked the way it felt when you wrapped your legs around my waist and..." He reached for the tie on my dress, and I had to grasp his wrist to stop him. "Wouldn't let me go." His eyes collided with mine as he whispered, "Do you remember that, when you never wanted to let me go?"

"Yes." His skin was bare and smooth and warm, reminding me of how safe I'd felt in his strong arms. They were around me now, not holding me tight, just barricading me so I couldn't run.

"Do you remember those nights?" His lips skimmed my neck, and I felt a rush of heat between my legs. "When we'd make love again and again and again?"

"Yes." I wasn't capable of more than one-word answers when he looked at me like that, conjuring up memories I'd never been able to forget.

"When I'd walk in the door and take you right there against the wall 'cause we couldn't wait to get to the bedroom?"

That had been before the boys were born and we got preoccupied with being parents. "I remember." His lips brushed across mine, and just that brief touch seared me. I was still gripping his shoulders, but instead of trying to hold him at bay, I was bringing him closer.

"Remember how hot it was when we were trying to get pregnant?"

The first time had taken some work, but the second time was a happy accident.

"God, I couldn't get enough of you." His hands were wrapped around my waist as his lips trailed over my cheek, scraping me with his ever-present stubble. "I was dying to see you pregnant with my baby."

I shivered at the intimacy of his words. When I'd shared the news with him that I was pregnant, he made love to me so tenderly, kissing every inch of my body reverently, as though I'd given him the greatest gift he'd ever received.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I remembered being in that hospital bed with him by my side as I brought our son into the world. He'd been the first one to hold him since I'd had some minor complications and the medical team had to tend to me. I'd never forget the look on his face as long as I lived.

This big, tough biker, tattoos decorating his massive biceps, who'd been in and out of jail as a youth and had been in more barroom brawls than either of us could count, had cried at the sight of his newborn son. He'd rested his forehead against Zane's, and the tears fell on our tiny son's perfect little face. Their blue eyes locked while Ryker told Zane how much he loved him and how long he'd been waiting to meet him.

I fell in love with him all over again that day.

"Hey," he said, brushing away my tears. "What's wrong, sweetheart? I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You didn't," I said, sniffling. "I was just thinking about the day Zane was born and the way you'd reacted."

He sat back, swiping a hand over his face. His voice was husky, filled with emotion when he said, "People talk about how a baby changes you, but you have no idea until it happens. I took one look at him, and I knew my life would never be the same." He kissed my hand, his eyes capturing mine. "And it hasn't been, Mac. Those kids you gave me, they changed me in the best possible way. I wanted to be a better man because of them. They made me want to work hard, to make something of myself, so they could be proud of me."

"They are proud of you," I assured him.

They were always bragging to their friends about how cool their dad was. He was the one who'd take a big group of them to a ball game or toss the football with them in the backyard. He was the one they talked to about girls because they knew Ryker had seen it and done it all and wouldn't judge them or reprimand them for making mistakes.

"I wanted to be the kind of dad I always wanted to have."

Ryker had grown up in an abusive home with a father who couldn't hold a steady job and took his unemployment out on Ryker and his five younger brothers. His father drank too much, cheated on his wife, and had his whole family walking on eggshells most of the time. They'd been homeless more than once, stayed with family and friends, lived in cars, and in shelters. That's why he'd gravitated toward motorcycle gangs as a teen, because he was desperate to belong somewhere, to someone.

"I wanted my kids to have a stable home, go to a nice school, and have all the things their friends had." He stared out the window, though it was too dark to see anything. "I didn't want them to be embarrassed of me."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, to tell him he could never embarrass our kids, but I couldn't speak. I was afraid it would come out as pity, and I knew Ryker hated to be pitied.

"When we moved into that swanky neighborhood, I'd see all the other guys going to work in their shiny sedans, wearing expensive suits, briefcase in hand. And I felt like I didn't belong. They'd all gone to these private schools, graduated with their fancy degrees, and I barely made it out of high school."

I let him talk without trying to interrupt because he'd never said these things to me before. I had no idea he'd felt inferior while trying to give us the life he felt we deserved.

"I didn't want Zane and Cole to compare me to them and feel like they'd somehow got the short end of the stick."

"How could you think that?" I whispered, running my hand over his hair the way I'd done a thousand times before when I was trying to comfort him or just let him know I cared. "Those boys idolize you, Ryker. They always have."

He gave me that half-smile that always made my stomach flip-flop. "They idolize me because I gave them reason to. I set a goal and worked my ass off to achieve it because those kids deserved a father they could look up to. Not someone who would make them feel ashamed of where they'd come from. I was determined to give them that. I didn't think about the cost."

I hesitated before skimming my hand over his face. "I've always admired your ambition. If you think that was the reason our marriage fell apart, it wasn't."

"I hope not." He grabbed my hand, trailing it down his chest until it rested over his heart. "I haven't figured out how to fix this yet, Mac. But I will. I swear to you, I will."

# Chapter Four

Ryker

It was three in the morning. We'd been talking for hours, but I hadn't tried to touch her again. I knew if I started, I wouldn't be able to stop, and I wasn't stupid enough to believe sex could solve our problems. We needed to dig deeper, get to know each other all over again. Say things we'd been too afraid to say before.

"You should just crash here tonight," I said when Mac tried to hide a yawn behind her hand. "I've got four bedrooms."

"I wouldn't want to give the boys the wrong idea if they woke up in the morning and found me here."

I knew she was right. Our kids wanted us back together; they'd made no secret of that, and it wasn't fair to give them hope until we knew for sure we were back on the right track. "So we'll tell them you got here late and I invited you to stay in the guest room."

Instead of responding to the invite, she said, "That key thing, did you put them up to that just to get me over here?"

I chuckled. "No, I didn't know anything about it. They came up with that all on their own."

"And they just happened to be in bed when I got here?" She smiled. "At home, it takes forever to get them to turn the lights out."

It usually did at my place too. They were always up late playing video games, watching TV, or talking to friends on the phone, but tonight they'd yelled through the bathroom door while I was in the shower to let me know they were tired and planned to hit the sack early. Oh, and their mom was stopping by to drop the house key off on her way home.

They wouldn't get an A for subtlety, but I had to thank them for giving us this time together. It had been a long time since I'd felt so close to Mac.

"You can't blame them for wanting their parents back together. Splitting their time between us has gotta be rough on them."

"I know." She sighed. "I hate putting them through this."

"Hey," I said, nudging her shoulder with mine. "You have nothing to be sorry for, you know. You have a right to be happy, and if I wasn't making you happy anymore, you did the right thing, speaking up about it."

"I can't help but feel selfish," she said, resting her head against my shoulder. "I'm putting my needs above what's best for my kids. What kind of mother does that?"

I hated to hear her berate herself, especially since Zane and Cole couldn't have asked for a more committed mom. She attended every sporting event, volunteered at their school, served on the P.T.A., baked cookies for bake sales, chaperoned their dances, and had even coached some of their teams when they were younger.

"You're an amazing mom," I said, my voice harsh. "And don't ever let me hear you question that again."

"Have they said anything to you about me?" she asked. "Do they hate me for kicking you out?"

"No. Why? Have they been giving you a hard time about it? If they have--"

"No." She wrapped her hand around my arm, as though she craved the closeness as much as I did. "We just haven't been as close. They don't seem to want to talk to me anymore, and I know that's because they blame me for breaking up our family. How could they not, right? I was the one who asked you to move out."

As much as I wanted to move back home, I didn't want her to take me back for the kids' sake. I wanted her to want me back, in her bed, as her husband and best friend.

"We're not the first couple to need a breather. The kids will understand that when they get a little older."

"You really believe that's all this is?" she asked, looking up at me. "A breather?"

"Don't you?"

I couldn't deny there were days when my hope waned. When weeks turned into months, I'd begun to wonder whether my wife would ever ask me to come back home, but I believed we'd made real progress tonight, and I was determined to build on that.

"It hasn't been easy without you," she admitted. "There were so many times, late at night, when I couldn't sleep and I wished you were there."

"You could have called, any time, day or night. You know that."

"I know." She nudged my foot with hers. "So, your brothers must hate me, huh?"

My younger brothers loved Mackenzie. When they heard she'd kicked me out, they asked what I'd done to deserve it. "You know they could never hate you. They blame me."

"That's not fair, Ryker. It takes two people to make a marriage work and two people to let it fall apart. I'm as responsible for the breakdown of our marriage as you are."

"Does it really matter who's responsible?" I asked, glancing at her. She looked so beautiful I just wanted to press her back into the cushions and kiss her until she forgot all the reasons she'd asked me to leave. "The only thing that matters is that we fix this, Mac."

"But how do we do that?" she asked. "Therapy?"

I hated the idea of spilling my guts to a stranger, but I would do anything to save my marriage. "If you think it'll help, I'm game."

"I don't know," she said, crossing her arms as she sat upright. "Is it too late to fix it? Have we drifted too far apart?"

"It's only too late if you've stopped loving me." I only wanted her back if she could say she loved me as much now as she did the day we got married.

"When I asked you to leave, I can honestly say I wasn't sure how I felt. But now? I don't know that I'll ever stop loving you, Ryker."

I exhaled slowly, saying a silent prayer of thanks that we weren't too lost to find our way back.

"You'll always have a piece of my heart."

I sensed some hesitancy in her voice, making my stomach twist painfully in anticipation of what she was going to say next. "But...?"

"But I can't go back to the way things were. Ever. I hate how disconnected we were in the end. It was like sharing a bed with a stranger instead of my best friend. It wasn't just the lack of intimacy that got to me, it was the distance. It felt there was a gulf between us that grew wider every day."

I wish I could claim ignorance, but I'd felt it too. I just wasn't brave enough to acknowledge it. I feared if we admitted it, we would have to confess the reasons behind it. My biggest fear was that she would tell me she just didn't love me anymore. I knew I could never come back from something like that. Losing her was bad enough. Losing her love would destroy me.

"So we work on rebuilding," I said, thinking it was the most logical option.

"How do we do that?"

"We get to know each other all over again."

She smiled. "You know me better than anyone, Ryker."

"I want to get to know the new you." I meant it. I wanted to know everything about her new life, so I could figure out how to fit into it. "I know you're not the same woman you were when I left. It's obvious just by looking at you. It's like you're alive again, and I love seeing you this way."

"Thank you," she said softly, touching my arm. "That means a lot."

"You mean a lot to me, Mac. That's why I'm willing to start all over again. I'm in no hurry for us to get back together." Though every night without her seemed longer than the last. "I'm more interested in fixing what was wrong and figuring out what works."

She opened and closed her mouth before asking, "You really think we can do that, start all over again?"

"We could try." I knew it would work. It had to. "If you're willing."

"What would that entail?"

"Spending time together, just the two of us, talking on the phone, going out for dinner once in a while, maybe to a movie. If things progress the way I hope they will, maybe away for the weekend. Up to the cottage?" We used to love spending time there during summer vacations, but I hadn't been there since Mac and I split, and the boys told me she hadn't taken them either.

She laughed. "It sounds like you're asking me to date you."

"I guess I am."

She sat up straight, turning to face me. "You're serious about this?"

"Why not?" I asked, shrugging. "What better way to figure out whether we're still compatible?" Truth be told, I was looking forward to wining and dining my gorgeous wife again.

"If we decide to do this," she said, biting her lip, "we should set some ground rules."

"Agreed." I knew the first one I wanted to propose. "Neither one of us dates anyone else. If we really want this to work, we both have to be fully committed."

"An exclusive relationship, hmm?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "I think I can agree to that. How about sex?"

Just hearing her say that word stirred me up. "Let's play that by ear. If we want to, we will, but not until we're both ready."

"Okay."

"I have one more." I reached for her hand. "You can say no if you want to..." I was almost afraid to ask, given the incredible progress we'd already made tonight. "But I would really love to see those rings back on your finger. We're still married, and I want..." I hated sounding jealous and petty, but if we were going to rebuild our relationship on a foundation of honesty and trust, I had to tell her the truth. "I want other men to know you're not available."

Her eyes drifted to my wedding band, and she nodded. "That seems fair."

"What do you want to tell the boys?" I was excited about being back on the right track with my wife, and I didn't want to overstep and piss her off. "They'll obviously know that we're going out together and talking more."

"Why don't we wait a while before we say anything, until we're sure that we're getting back together?"

"Sounds good to me." Still, I could hardly wait to see the looks on their faces when they found out there was a good chance of reuniting their family.

"Do we have any rules about kissing?" Her cheeks colored slightly as her gaze roved over my bare chest. "Because I'm not gonna lie, kissing you was one of my absolute favorite things, and I've missed it. A lot."

In one forward motion, she was in my arms. She wound her arms around me, her hands drifting up my spine. Her gentle touch sent a jolt through my entire body, reminding me it had never felt like this with anyone else. I took my time, my tongue tracing the soft fullness of her lips before exploring further.

She moaned, lacing her hands through my hair, intent on drawing me closer as she reclined on the cushions. "Ah, Ryker."

I moved my mouth with hers in perfect tandem, giving, taking, devouring her softness. The kiss quickly escalated to hungry and demanding. I didn't even realize I'd reached for the zipper of her dress until I felt her hand curl around my wrist to stop me.

I tore my lips from hers, breathing heavily, my heart pounding as I buried my face in her neck. "Sorry, baby. It's just been so long, and you taste so good. You feel so good." My hands were roving her body now, cupping her breast, even as my mind was screaming at me to slow down before I ruined everything.

"I know." She curled her legs around mine. "But, Ryk, we have to stop now," she said, panting. "It's too soon. Sex will only complicate things now."

"I know." I forced my hand lower, needing to touch her but not so intimately. "You're right." My lips were still rubbing against her neck. I couldn't tear myself away no matter how hard I tried. God, touching her, kissing her, had been a bad idea. I didn't want to stop now. My body was telling me this felt right. She was my wife; I belonged inside her, but my conscience reminded me I had to earn that privilege back because I'd taken it for granted for so many years.

"I want you," she whispered in my ear. "You have to know how much I want you."

I shuddered, just imagining what it would feel like to sink inside her after so many months without her. "You'll have me," I vowed, "when the time is right." We held each other close, reminding me how much I missed just being held by her. It made me feel loved, as though I belonged to somebody.

I forced myself to break free, to put some much needed distance between us. "We should go to bed," I whispered in her ear. "Because I don't know how much longer I can lie here with you without making love to you."

"You're right," she said, smiling against my neck. "Show me to my room."

I helped her up and held her hand as we walked quietly down the hall toward the bedroom. I stopped at the door to my room. "Just let me grab you something to wear to bed." She stood in the doorway, watching me rifle through the drawers until I came up with a black T-shirt that bore my company logo with Steele Custom Choppers in fancy script.

"Those drawers are a mess," she said, grinning. "Maybe I should organize them for you tomorrow."

I handed her the shirt before cupping her face in my palm. "Did I ever thank you for taking such good care of me?"

She seemed taken aback by the compliment but smiled. "It was my pleasure. I loved taking care of you."

She was not only an amazing cook, but the house was always immaculate, right down to the fresh flowers on the kitchen table every week and fruit piled high in a crystal bowl on the island. I'd taken those little things for granted, including the neatly folded clothes in the drawers, dry cleaning hanging in my closet, and a new bottle of shaving cream tucked in the bathroom cabinet every time she noticed I was running low. It was all the little things I'd never said thank you for throughout the years that made her think I didn't notice or appreciate her anymore, that made her think I could live without her.

"I miss everything about our life together, Mac. Everything."

She smiled as she reached up on her toes to kiss me. "You're not the only one. I miss it too."

I held her tight, wishing I didn't have to sleep alone tonight. It would be torture, knowing she was just down the hall and I couldn't go to her. But I supposed it was better than knowing she was across town, sleeping in the bed we used to share.

"Let me grab you a robe," I said, kissing her cheek. "You'll probably want to put something else on before you come to breakfast."

She giggled as she held up the T-shirt. "You wear an extra-large. This is more of a dress for me."

I smiled, thinking how great it would be to see her in my shirt again, her hair mussed, and her eyes bleary from sleep. My body responded just thinking about how sexy she would look.

I snagged a black terry robe off the hook in my walk-in closet before sneaking into the bathroom to grab her an extra toothbrush and tube of toothpaste.

She looked at the items as I handed them to her, and I knew she wanted to ask if I'd bought them for unexpected overnight guests.

"I bought them for when I travel," I said, grabbing the back of her neck and drawing her face close to mine so I could kiss her forehead. "You know I have a thing against packing my toothbrush in my toiletries bag and those damn caps always fall off."

She chuckled. "I remember. My germaphobe."

It felt so good to hear her call me hers again, in any context.

"You really think the boys are going to believe nothing happened between us if I come out of the bedroom wearing your T-shirt and robe?" she asked, holding up the garments.

"As long as you're not coming out of my bedroom, yeah." I slung an arm around her shoulders and led her down the hall. "Here we are." I was dying to kiss her again, but I didn't trust myself, especially with a bed a few feet away. "This bedroom has its own bath," I said, keeping my voice low so as not to wake Cole and Zane. "You'll find anything else you might need in the bathroom cabinet. I keep extras on hand in case the boys forget anything. There are clean towels in the linen closet. That's inside the walk-in closet."

She looked into the room, taking in the queen-sized bed with matching nightstands and dresser with mirror. The room had been recently painted taupe, with a chocolate-brown duvet and striped drapes. It was simple but functional.

"This is a nice home, Ryker."

"This isn't my home, baby," I whispered in her ear. "My home is with you. This is just a house."

# Chapter Five

Mackenzie

I woke up the next morning to the sound of male voices punctuated with laughter. My favorite sound. But when coupled with the smell of bacon and coffee, I was in heaven.

I looked around the room, taking in the neutrality. Much like the rest of the house, it was functional. The furniture was expensive, but it looked transitional somehow, as though Ryker had bought it hoping he would only need it temporarily.

I still couldn't believe I was waking up in Ryker's house. If someone had told me this would be happening twenty-four hours ago, I would have thought they were crazy. But there I was. Feeling better about the future than I had in a really long time. After my talk with my husband last night, I felt like we were finally reading from the same page again, committing to our future in a new, and hopefully better, way.

I considered whether to put my dress back on, but knowing my boys, they would tease me about doing the dreaded walk of shame in last night's clothes. So I put Ryker's robe on, taking a moment to bury my nose in the collar. Very Sexual. That was the name of the cologne he favored, and coupled with Ryker's natural scent, it was intoxicating.

The sound of Cole's laughter pulled me out of my inappropriate fantasies as I made my way to the adjoining bathroom to take care of business. I finger-combed my hair since I didn't want to make it look like I'd taken too much time to primp. Pinching my cheeks to add a little color, I rolled my eyes at my own reflection. It had been years since I'd taken the time to try to impress Ryker in the morning. Maybe that was part of the problem. I'd become complacent and stopped trying to appeal to him.

Considering that possibility as I made my way down the hall, I paused at the entrance to the large open-concept kitchen/living area. Ryker had his back to me. He was flipping pancakes at the stove, but just the sight of him preparing breakfast for our kids again stirred a deep longing in me, reminding me how much I'd missed our family breakfasts.

"Hey, Mom," Zane said when he spotted me. "Dad said you crashed here last night. Thanks for bringing the key by."

"No problem." I put an arm around each of my sons while playfully ruffling their hair. It was the only time I was allowed to touch their stylishly-cut tresses, pre-shower. I was aware of their eyes boring into me as I made my way around the island to say good morning to their dad. "Good morning, Ryker."

He smirked, obviously aware we had an audience. "Mac, did you sleep well?"

"Like a baby. That's a great mattress." We were making small talk, trying to throw our kids off the trail, but judging by their sly looks at one another, they weren't buying it.

"Grab a mug," he said, gesturing to the cupboard above my head. "Coffee's hot and strong, just the way you like it."

"My hero," I said, only loud enough for him to hear. I was tempted to stand on my tippy-toes and brush a kiss across his cheek, just to gauge his reaction, but I knew that would breach our agreement about keeping Zane and Cole in the dark for now.

"Pancakes or eggs and bacon?" he asked, inclining his head toward the skillets on the gas stove top.

Ryker was great on the grill, but his only foray into indoor cooking had been breakfast fare. When we were together, he'd often let me sleep in on weekends while he prepared breakfast for himself and the boys.

"Um, I have a session with my trainer in a couple of hours, so I should probably stick to eggs. I'll need the protein."

"Hey, Dad. Did Mom tell you Mr. Jefferson is training her?" Zane asked, referring to the father of one of his friends and teammates.

"No," Ryker said, shooting a sidelong glance in my direction. "How's Suzie?" he asked, referring to Mike Jefferson's wife. "I haven't seen her around in a while."

"Didn't you hear?" I asked, filling my coffee mug. "She and Mike divorced."

The spatula he'd intended to flip the pancakes with halted, midair. "They did? So Mike's single now?"

"Yup." I reached for the natural sweetener Ryker left on the counter. That was one of the many things we had in common.

"Mike, uh, owns the gym, right?" Ryker asked, checking the pancake before he turned it.

"He does." I leaned against the counter, wrapping both hands around the over-sized mug before taking a tentative sip. "Mmm, I needed this."

"Does he usually train clients himself?" Ryker asked, reaching into the cupboard for a plate. He stacked the pancakes on it before placing it in front of the boys. "I mean, doesn't he have personal trainers working for him?"

"Sure," I said, reaching for the bread to pop a couple of slices in the toaster while Ryker cracked eggs into another skillet. He didn't ask me if I wanted them scrambled. He just knew.

"But we're friends and he knew I was new to the gym, so he offered to train me himself." I reached into the fridge for butter, thinking how natural it felt to be moving around the kitchen with him again. "He's really good at what he does. Not only have I lost twenty-eight pounds since I started working out with him, but I've gained a few pounds of muscle, which Mike says is important, given my age."

Ryker rolled his eyes. "You're not even forty."

"Still, building muscle is important to guard against osteoporosis," I said, reaching into the cupboard in front of him to grab a plate. My front brushed his back, and I suppressed a smile when I heard his sharp intake of breath.

"I didn't realize you and Jefferson were so friendly," he said, watching me butter my toast. "I thought you were closer with his wife."

"Suzie and I are still friends."

"And she doesn't mind that you're so friendly with her ex?" He turned the stove off and plated the eggs before thrusting them at me. Zane chuckled, and Ryker glared at him before asking, "What's so funny?"

"Sounds like you're jealous of Mr. J, Dad," Zane said around a mouthful of pancakes.

"Mind your business and eat your breakfast," Ryker muttered.

I tried to suppress a smile as I pulled a stool up on the opposite side of the large island, facing my kids. "Do you have any juice, Ryker?"

He muttered as he reached into the fridge, pulled out a large container, and plopped it down on the counter. "I'm going to grab a shower."

"But you haven't even eaten yet," Cole said, waving his fork at the huge stack of pancakes.

"I lost my appetite."

I felt bad for teasing him, but he was being ridiculous. We'd known Suzie and Mike Jefferson since our kids started pre-school together. I had no interest in him.

"So," Zane said, looking entirely too smug, "we were surprised when Dad told us you crashed here last night. What's that about?"

I knew I would have to answer their questions this morning, but I'd been so wrapped up in thoughts of Ryker I hadn't decided how to respond. "Thanks to you guys, I had to haul my butt over here in the middle of the night. Your dad invited me in for a drink, we got to talking, and before we knew it, it was pretty late, so he invited me to stay. End of story."

Cole watched me take a sip of coffee before he said, "He seemed pretty jealous when he heard about Mr. J, which obviously means he's still into you."

The boys hadn't tried to talk to me about their dad since he left, so I didn't want to shut them down now that they were finally trying to open the lines of communication. "Things are complicated," I said, thinking it was the best way I could describe my feelings for Ryker. I still loved him, respected him, was ridiculously attracted to him, but the jury was still out on whether we belonged together.

"I hate it when you say that," Zane said, rolling his eyes. "We're not little kids anymore, Mom. This affects us too. We wanna know where things stand with you and Dad. Are you guys getting back together or what?"

He was right. This did affect them and they had a right to know what to expect, but it was way too soon to tell them anything. "Your dad and I have agreed to spend more time together," I said, hoping that would be enough to satisfy their curiosity for now.

"Does that mean you want to get back together?" Cole asked, the excitement evident in his voice.

The last thing I wanted was to disappoint my kids, but I refused to give them false hope. "I didn't ask your dad to move out on a whim," I said gently, hoping I could help them understand what led to that decision. "I thought about it for a long time first. I made a concerted effort to make things better before I resorted to that, but..."

I thought of all the romantic dinners I'd planned when he'd called to tell me he had to take a client out instead. The new lingerie I'd worn to bed, only to find him already asleep. The note tucked into his lunch that he never bothered to acknowledge. I tried. I really tried to get his attention, to let him know I missed him, that I missed the way we used to be.

"But what?" Zane asked.

"Things just didn't work out the way I'd hoped they would."

"But you're not giving up," Cole said. "You wouldn't be here unless you thought there was hope."

My sons were so smart, so intuitive, sometimes too smart for their own good. "It's still too soon to say what's going to happen. Just know that we'll always be a family, guys. No matter what happens, your dad and I love you, okay?"

They looked dejected as they mumbled, "Yeah, sure." Collecting their plates, they loaded the dishwasher before excusing themselves to hit the showers.

Well, that didn't go well.

***

Ryker

I knew I was acting like a jealous, possessive jerk, but I'd seen the way Mike looked at Mac when he thought no one else was looking. He was into her. And I hated knowing he was single and free to pursue that attraction now that he believed I was out of the picture.

I reminded myself that he hadn't asked her out yet, as far as I knew, and we had agreed we wouldn't see other people. So even if he asked her out, she would say no. Wouldn't she? Of course she would. Mac's word was her bond. I'd never questioned her fidelity when we were together and refused to question it now.

"Hey, baby," I said, determined to put my insecurities aside and enjoy my time with her. "You didn't have to clean up the kitchen. I was gonna take care of that."

"I don't mind," she said, turning to face me. "You did cook breakfast. That's the deal, remember?"

I smiled before pulling her into my arms for a kiss. I'd heard the shower running, so I knew the boys would be occupied for a while.

"I should head out soon," she said, setting her hands on my shoulders. "I have that appointment."

I sensed she was more withdrawn today than she'd been last night and that's not the way I wanted to leave things with her. "I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. Please don't be upset. I'm trying to get used to--"

"No, it's not that," she said, slipping out of my arms. "They started asking me questions about us. I don't think I gave them the answers they were looking for."

My stomach plummeted because I knew they wanted the same thing I did--to reunite our family. "What happened?" I wanted details so I could figure out where her head was at and whether she'd changed her mind since our talk last night.

"They want us to get back together, obviously, and they were really disappointed when I told them it was just too soon to tell what would happen."

I tried to suppress my disappointment, reminding myself that I was still a lot closer to getting her back than I had been yesterday at this time. Last night she'd gone out with another man. Today I knew that was no longer a concern. That was progress.

"I'll talk to them," I assured her. "I'll ask them to give us some time and space to figure this out on our own and not to give you a hard time about it." I knew if she felt pressured, it would only drive her further away, and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Thanks," she said, slipping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest. "It's exhausting, being the bad guy all the time. They idolize you, Ryk. Sometimes I feel given the choice, they'd be here with you all the time."

"Hey," I said, thrusting my hands into her hair to tip her head back. "They love you. Don't ever doubt that."

She sighed. "I know they do, but the relationship they have with you is so different than what I have with them. You guys have so much in common: sports, cars, fishing, motorcycles, video games..." She traced her fingertip over the colorful ink peeking out from beneath the sleeve of my T-shirt. "Do they, uh, talk to you about girls too?"

I didn't want her to feel out of the loop, but they did confide in me. A lot. "Uh, sure, we talk about girls sometimes."

"See? They totally clam up when I try to talk to them about stuff like that. They just roll their eyes and walk out of the room."

I kissed her forehead, hoping to erase the lines of concern etched between her arched brows. "That's why we're such a great team, baby. Between the two of us, we're able to be there for our kids in ways most parents aren't."

"But I want to feel like I'm a part of their lives too." She leaned back, propping her hands against the counter behind her. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that they're confiding in one of us instead of sneaking around behind our backs and getting into trouble, but--"

"You just wish it were a little more equitable?" I understood how she felt, but my boys knew I'd faced some of the same challenges they were facing, so of course they would feel more comfortable talking to me about it. "I get that, but right now, my main concern is making sure they don't take the path I did."

"I know." She sighed. "You're right. I'm just being silly."

"No, you're not," I said, grasping her hands in mine. "You have every right to feel the way you do. But I remember what it was like being a teenager. I had no one to talk to aside from my mom, and she was hardly ever there since she had to work so much. I got into so much trouble because I had no one to try to steer me in the right direction, no one who cared."

She touched my face, her eyes softening. "I hate that you had to go through that. But it makes me admire the man you've become even more."

"I wouldn't be who I am if I hadn't met you when I did." I didn't know if I'd ever told her she'd saved my life, but she did. "I was in and out of trouble. Drinking too much, mad at the world, fighting like it was my job, experimenting with drugs..." I hated talking about those days, but I knew our sons were on the verge of some big decisions that would revolve around intense peer pressure, and we had to be on guard. "I could have easily wound up being a career criminal, but I didn't. You know why?"

"Why?" she whispered, hooking her thumbs through the belt loops of my worn jeans.

"Because I met an angel who decided she was going to make it her mission to save me from myself." I grinned, remembering how I'd felt the first time I laid eyes on her, like all the oxygen had been drained from my body.

I was a cocky twenty-year-old, hanging around pool halls, selling drugs, and roughing up guys who didn't pay their debts when she walked by. And my world stopped. Literally.

She was in high school, working the summer before her senior year at the deli sandwiched between the pool hall and arcade where delinquents like me hung out. She was a cheerleader, with scholarship offers and a promising future, and dating the pitcher of a championship baseball team. She'd led a sheltered life. Her parents had been able to protect her from the derelicts of society... until I walked into her workplace one night and informed her she was going to be mine.

No wonder her old man hated me. I was his worst nightmare. Any father's worst nightmare. The kid I used to be still made me glad I didn't have a daughter.

"My friends and parents told me I was crazy to think I could change you," she said, smiling at the memory. "They said you were dangerous, bad news. But they didn't know you the way I did."

"You took a hell of a risk," I said, brushing the back of my hand over her cheek. "Falling in love with someone like me. I could have ruined your life."

"But you didn't. You made it better. So much better."

I thought I'd loved her before, but that paled in comparison to the love I felt for her now. Just knowing I could lose her brought everything into sharper focus. Over the past sixteen years, I'd built a successful business and become a multi-millionaire, earning more than ninety-nine percent of the population, but when she'd asked me to leave, I realized everything I'd been working for meant nothing without her.

"I just wanted to become someone you'd be proud to call your husband."

I was still rough around the edges. No matter how many millions I had in the bank, I knew that would never change. I grew up on the streets without the benefit of a formal education, being raised by bikers who didn't know any more than I did about how to survive in the upscale suburban jungle.

It was a different world here, where people sent their kids to private schools, bought them a Mercedes when they turned sixteen, and groomed them for success from the day they were born. I never thought I'd want to be a part of this world, but I did because I could go to sleep at night knowing my hard work afforded my family the best, and that's exactly what they deserved.

"I am proud of you," she said, kissing me. "So proud. I feel like I stopped telling you that somewhere along the way. Your successes got bigger, but my praise just..." She shrugged. "Stopped. I'm sorry about that. I never stopped being proud of you, but I am sorry I stopped telling you."

I drew her close, crushing her against my chest. "I love that we're talking like this again, Mac. Saying things to each other we should have been saying all along."

"Maybe this happened for a reason," she said, tipping her head back to look at me. "To remind us of what we stand to lose."

"I'm not losing you," I said, knowing I was probably overstepping. "I don't care what it takes. I am not going to lose you."

# Chapter Six

Ryker

"So listen, guys," I said to my sons over a burger and fries at our favorite Saturday night haunt. "I wanted to talk to you about your mom. I know you must have questions about why she was at my place this morning and what it means."

Zane and Cole exchanged a look before popping fries into their mouths.

I understood their hesitancy to talk to me about it after Mac's response, but I wanted them to know how I felt. "This situation is complicated." They groaned in unison, letting me know that hadn't been the best opening. "What?"

"That's what Mom said," Zane muttered.

"Yeah," Cole chimed in, looking me in the eye. "And we'll tell you what we told her. We're not little kids anymore. If you guys are gonna get a divorce, just get it over with instead of draggin' your feet and pretending you're trying to 'work' on your marriage." He made air quotes around the word, his face twisted into a mask of disgust.

That word, divorce, hit me like a fastball between the eyes. No matter how disillusioned I'd felt over the past six months, I'd never let myself believe it would come to that. "I get that you're angry. I am too. But I'm not angry at your mom. I'm angry at myself for letting things get so far off course."

Obviously, there were things I couldn't tell them, like the lack of intimacy in our marriage, but I didn't want them to blame Mac for what happened. If anyone was to blame, it was me. I should have understood that she wanted what every woman wants--to feel that her husband loves her and finds her desirable.

"We weren't talking, and we should have been. We tried to ignore our problems and hoped they'd go away. But we're not doing that anymore. We are talking now, and we're going to keep talking until we figure out how to work this out."

"Dad, you may be setting yourself up to take a hard fall on this one."

Even though Zane was only sixteen, he was mature and sensitive. He was the first one to call out a bully or stand up for the underdog, and I loved that about him. "I appreciate your concern, but--"

"Dad, don't do this for us," Zane said, cutting me off. "I know you think we'll be all messed up if you and Mom don't get back together, and we're not gonna lie, it'd suck, but you guys deserve to be happy too."

I was speechless. I didn't know what I'd ever said or done to give them the impression Mac didn't make me happy anymore. If they had that impression, it wasn't difficult to understand why she did too.

"Guys, your mom does make me happy," I said, struggling to level my voice. "I've never loved another woman and I'm tellin' you, I never will."

Cole sighed. "Yeah, but does she feel the same way about you? That's what's got us worried."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest. My sons, of all people, were calling into question their mother's feelings for me. Did they know something I didn't? "Why do you say that?" I drained my beer, wishing I didn't have to drive home so I could have ordered another. I didn't make a practice of drinking in front of my sons, but the doubts racing through my head tonight were making me half-crazy.

"Ever since you left, she's been a different person," Cole said, unable to meet my eyes.

"Happier," Zane muttered.

It felt like someone sucker-punched me. They thought she was happier without me than she'd been with me? What the hell?

"Sorry, Dad." Zane's shoulders slumped. "It's just that she lost all that weight and started workin' out with Mr. J."

I wanted to ask about Mac's relationship with her personal trainer, but I knew it would be inappropriate to pump my kids for information.

"Yeah, and now she's gonna get her real estate license." Cole's lips twisted in an angry snarl. "She's even been talking to Mr. Baxter at Baxter's Real Estate, and you know that old perv would only hire her 'cause he wants to bang her."

I wanted to tell him to watch his language, but I couldn't form the words, not when my mind was spinning. Everything was changing. Mac was changing. She wanted a new life. She'd told me she wanted a job, but hearing that she'd already taken steps was a blow. It's not that I would have begrudged her the opportunity to work if that's what made her happy, but the boys were right. Baxter was a notorious womanizer, and I didn't want my wife anywhere near him.

"She, uh, did mention something to me about a job," I said, trying to maintain my composure. "But I got the feeling she hadn't made up her mind."

"Then why did Baxter take her out to dinner last week to talk about it? He wants her to start some training program he's got set up. He says he'll foot the bill for her license, but she has to sign a contract with him for a couple of years or something like that."

I heard everything Cole said, but I was still trying to deny it. Those were the kinds of decisions we would have made together, had we been living under the same roof, but now I had no say, and it was killing me.

"I'll have to talk to her about it," I said, swallowing repeatedly to try to clear the lump in my throat. "Just 'cause she was talking to Baxter doesn't mean she's decided to take him up on his offer. Last night, I got the impression she was still considering her options. In fact, I offered her a job with me."

"That'd be great," Cole said. "But you know she'd never take you up on it. She's on this independent kick, or some shit. We think it's a mid-life crisis."

I frowned, not even sure what to say to that. I didn't know what Mac was going through, but it was obvious she felt her entire life needed an overhaul, and I couldn't deny I was scared to death about what that meant for us.

***

"Hey, what're you doing in here on a Sunday afternoon?" my brother Nex asked, walking into my office. "Aren't you supposed to be hangin' with my nephews?"

"They have exams coming up," I said. "So I dropped them off to study with friends." I checked my watch. "I have to pick them up in about an hour."

"So that girl I set you up with has been asking about you every time I go into the bar."

I should have known it was a bad idea when Nex told me she was a bartender at his favorite hangout. "Not interested."

"Why the hell not?"

"Mac spent the night at my place Friday night."

Nex slammed his palms down on the desk on either side of my laptop. "Shut the hell up!"

There was a fifteen-year age difference from youngest to oldest, but there was no disputing the fact we were brothers. From our builds to our hair and eye color, we looked eerily similar. But that's where the similarities ended. While I'd settled down years ago, my brothers seemed content to remain bachelors forever. I knew it was their lives, their decisions, but they didn't know what they were missing. There was no better feeling than knowing you were going home to your family every night.

"So you guys are getting back together?" Nex pressed. "Man, that's awesome. Maybe now you won't be such a dick at work."

I glared at him, knowing it would do no good. The only guys who weren't afraid to mess with me, probably because they were as tough as I was, were my brothers. "Just because I take things seriously doesn't mean--"

"Tell me about Mac," Nex said, closing my laptop as he sat on the edge of my desk.

If not for autosave, I might have killed him. "None of your business."

"Come on, man. You gotta gimme somethin'," he said, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "How'd you two hook up? Did you get her loaded or what?"

I clenched my fists, barely suppressing the urge to lunge across the desk and wrap my hands around his throat. I'd been on edge ever since Zane and Cole talked to me about Mac's plans yesterday, and the last thing I needed was to listen to my brother's asinine jokes.

"We didn't sleep together," I said, biting the inside of my cheek. "The guys forgot their house key and needed to get some homework. She came over to drop it off, I invited her in for a drink, and we started talking. It got late, so I invited her to stay. End of story."

"I saw Mac at the gym last week, and you may not wanna hear this, but there were quite a few guys sniffin' around her. Some quite a bit younger. Probably had the stamina to keep up with her, if you know what I mean." He wiggled his dark eyebrows as his grin spread.

I hadn't told Nex part of the reason Mac had kicked me out was because of our sex life, or lack thereof. If he'd known that, he'd never let me live it down. "You have the nerve to talk to me about some other guy doin' my wife? You want me to knock all your teeth out, don't you?"

He held his hand up, chuckling. "I'm just sayin' if you're not keepin' her satisfied, I can guarantee someone else will be."

I'd never come so close to killing my own brother. We'd beat the hell out of each other a few times over the years, mainly to get our aggression out, but that was different. He was twisting the knife a little too deep this time.

"Man, why didn't you tell me she's been workin' out? She looked hotter than hell. If she wasn't family, I would've--"

"Get. Out."

Nex's eyes widened as the smile slipped off his face. "You know I'm just messin' with ya. Mac's like a sister to me. I'd never really--"

"Shut. Up." I wasn't capable of more than single word sentences right now. It was taking all my effort just to breathe through the rage. Every time I turned around, someone was telling me about another facet of my wife's life I knew nothing about. And I hated it.

"So, are you guys any closer to getting back together?" he asked, his voice suddenly somber. "I know how much you want that."

"More than anything." I rotated my neck, trying to release some of the tension. "God, I felt so good after our talk on Friday night, but now, I don't know."

"What happened?"

"Zane and Cole told me she's thinking about getting her real estate license and going to work for Baxter."

Nex rolled his eyes. "Mac's a smart girl. She should know better than to consider going to work for that pig." When I didn't respond, he asked, "You don't want her to work?"

"I offered her the office manager's job here, but she wasn't interested."

"Uh, Ryker, I know you don't want to hear this, but from what you've told me, the reason Mac asked you to move out is because she's trying to develop her own identity. How would coming to work for you help her do that?"

I knew he had a point, but I didn't have to like it. "Still, Baxter?"

"Yeah, he's a sleazy dirtbag, no doubt about it."

He'd been involved in a few of our real estate transactions over the years, and barely legal were the words I'd use to describe his practices. "But I feel like my hands are tied. If I start questioning Mac about her decisions, she's going to think I'm trying to control her."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I slammed my hand down on the desk as I leaned forward. "I'm her goddamn husband. Is it so wrong of me to want to weigh in on the decisions she makes?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Where you left things. You think there's a good chance you guys can work things out?"

"I thought so, but..." I scrubbed my hands over my face. "Zane and Cole said something that kind of got to me last night."

"What'd they say?"

"That Mac's seemed happier since I left."

"Ouch," he said, grabbing his chest. "That's gotta hurt."

"You have no idea." I laid awake last night considering whether I was being selfish, trying to hold on to her if she was happier without me, but every time I thought about giving up on her, I felt nauseated.

"Have you asked her why she's been happier without you?"

"No." I blinked, trying to erase the sheen from my eyes.

"Why not?"

"I guess I'm afraid of the answer."

"You afraid?" Nex said, leaning over to grip my shoulder. "Come on, I've never known you to be afraid of anything."

"I'm afraid of losing my wife, man."

"Then figure out how to fix things."

I glared at him. "Don't you think I would have done that by now if I knew how?"

"Talk to her," Nex said, as though the answer should be obvious. "Find out what's making her happy. Just because she's happier since you left doesn't mean she's happier because you left."

"Stop talking in riddles. You're giving me a goddamn headache." I started riffling through my desk drawers looking for aspirin. "If you think you have all the answers, let's hear it." I thought it was ironic that my kid brother, who hadn't had a real relationship in his entire adult life, was doling out advice. Sadder still that I was willing to listen to him.

"You said yourself she's made a lot of changes, right? She's thinking about getting a job, she's started focusing on herself more, started working out and dropped some weight."

"So?"

"She could do all those things if you guys were still together, couldn't she?"

"Of course," I said, trying to tamp down my frustration. "I'd never stand in the way of Mac's happiness."

"Then let her know that. Think about how you can support her goals. If she wants to work out, offer to work out with her. If she's trying to live a more active lifestyle, go hiking or jogging with her."

I had to admit I was stunned by Nex's suggestions, mainly because they made sense and I hadn't been the one to think of them. Nex wasn't known for being the level-headed, rational one. I was. "Go on."

"You said you don't want her working for Baxter. I can't say I blame you. But you can't just tell her you don't want her working for him. Present her with other options, so you come off as the supportive husband."

"I am a supportive husband." I cracked a smile when I realized my brother had actually helped me. I felt a hell of a lot better than I had when he walked into my office. "Have you been watchin' Dr. Phil instead of working or what?"

He laughed. "Na, I'm datin' a shrink."

My jaw dropped. "You're dating a shrink or you're seeing a shrink? Big difference, little brother."

He pushed off my desk, strutting to the door. "You're welcome, smart ass."

# Chapter Seven

Mackenzie

"I still can't believe you spent the night at Ryker's," Molly said, spraying her legs with sunscreen.

She'd come over to use the pool and work on her tan, as she often did on Sunday afternoons before Ryker dropped the boys off. I normally appreciated the company after being alone most of the weekend, but today I would have preferred the time to collect my thoughts before facing Ryker again.

I knew our talk on Friday night had changed everything. He wouldn't be dropping the boys off with just a casual greeting. He might want to stay, talk, maybe even have a barbeque as a family. I didn't know how I felt about that. I was anxious to spend more time with him, but I feared it may be too soon to include our kids in those plans.

"It just kind of happened." I leaned over, slapping her arm. "Bug," I lied, when she frowned at me. I was punishing her for setting me up with the human garbage disposal. "I doubt I would have ended up at Ryker's at all if not for you."

"Me?" she asked, adjusting the brim of her floppy hat. "What did I do?"

"What the hell were you thinking, setting me up with that guy?"

"What was wrong with him?"

"Aside from the fact he was a mama's boy with no manners, who clearly hates kids? Nothing, I guess."

"Your standards are too high," she said, tipping her head toward the sun. "You've been out of the dating game too long. You think all guys are like Ryker: big, strong, handsome, rich--"

"You hate Ryker," I reminder her. "Why all the praise all of a sudden?"

"I don't hate him," she said, adjusting her oversized sunglasses. "I just think he's been taking you for granted for too long. He didn't realize a good thing when he had it. Now that it's too late, he wants another chance. Well screw him!"

Molly was as opinionated and overbearing as she accused Ryker of being, but I put up with her because she'd been my best friend since the ninth grade. Besides, I had no problem telling her to back off when she'd crossed the line. Like now. "I'll decide whether or not to give Ryker another chance, Molly. Not you."

"You would actually consider giving that man another chance after he practically ignored you while you were living together?"

I appreciated the fact that Molly always had my back, but she was never willing to cut Ryker any slack and that was a problem, because I was determined to give him the benefit of the doubt moving forward.

"People make mistakes," I reminded her. She'd made plenty with her former husband, but she would never admit it. According to her, it was all Richard's fault. He was impossible to live with. "I'm certainly not perfect."

She groaned. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Excuse Ryker's bad behavior by claiming responsibility."

"I don't do that!" Did I? "I'm not saying Ryker was the perfect husband, but I wasn't perfect either."

She reached for my hand. "Honey, name a single time you weren't there for him when he needed you." When I didn't respond, she said, "Exactly! You were like Martha-freakin'-Stewart, and he was more concerned about maintaining his six pack than his marriage."

I regretted telling Molly that Ryker often retired to the basement gym in the evening to workout rather than spend time with me. "I could have gone downstairs to work out with him."

"You said you didn't know how to use all that equipment at the time and he didn't have the patience to show you."

Damn her for throwing that back in my face. Thank God I hadn't told her about our problems in the bedroom. She would have viewed that as grounds for divorce, for sure. "Look, Mol, I know you care about me and you only want me to be happy, but I'm not ready to end my marriage. In fact, last night helped me realize I don't want to date anyone else."

I knew I had to tell her that Ryker and I were going to try working on our marriage. If I didn't, she would keep trying to set me up with her single friends from work, and I couldn't risk that.

"What do you mean you don't want to date anyone else?" she asked, lowering her sunglasses to peer at me over the top of the frame.

She reminded me of my mother when she did that. Mom was a seamstress who wore bifocals, and she was forever peering at me over the top of her lenses. Every time she looked at me like that, I wanted to squirm.

"Ryker and I are going to work on our marriage, you know, start dating again."

Molly slapped the side of her head. "My ear must be plugged. I could have sworn I just heard you say you're going to start dating your soon-to-be ex-husband."

I rolled my eyes while reaching for a fashion magazine on the table between us. "You know I've never seen a lawyer about divorcing Ryker. We're not even legally separated."

"Which I think is ridiculous. Without a legally binding agreement, he could get pissed off at you and just stop sending those big checks every month. Then where would you be?"

"Ryker would never do that. He's committed to taking care of his family."

"Don't be so naïve," Molly said, slipping her sunglasses back in place. "Don't you know how vindictive men can be during a divorce? You think you know them, but as soon as lawyers get involved, they become someone else. Suddenly, they're fighting over your china collection, which they didn't even know you had until they saw it listed among your assets."

"Another reason not to get lawyers involved," I muttered.

"A lawyer will protect your ass when Ryker decides he's tired of paying for all this," she said, waving her hand around the large treed backyard.

"Molly."

Molly's head snapped back when she heard Ryker's voice.

"Oh, uh, hi," she said, scrambling to sit up. "We didn't hear you come in. What are you doing eavesdropping on us anyhow?"

Ryker moved to the front of our loungers and pushed his sunglasses up on his head. He was wearing a fitted black T-shirt that showed off his colorful tattoos and bulging biceps, along with a pair of low-slung, faded jeans and motorcycle boots. He looked mad enough to spit nails, and I didn't know about Molly, but I was breaking out in a sweat and his anger wasn't even directed at me.

"You need to mind your own goddamn business," he said, his voice low and lethal. "And stop filling my wife's head with garbage."

Molly reached for the cover-up at the bottom of the lounge chair, raising her chin in defiance. "Mac was my friend long before she was your wife, Ryker. Just remember that. And if you think I'm going to let you treat her like crap--"

"Stop!" I held up my hands. "I've listened to you two argue enough to last a lifetime." I looked at my friend. "You know I love you, but you need to respect my right to make my own decisions."

"But I'm just looking out for you," Molly said, looking deflated.

"By trying to convince her that I'd leave her high and dry?" Ryker asked, clenching his fist. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"It's nothing personal," Molly said, slipping her cover-up back on. "You're a wealthy guy. It's not like you guys had a prenup. You could stand to lose a lot if you divorced. Why wouldn't you want to save your marriage if it meant saving you millions?"

"I did not," Ryker said, his jaw clenched, "just hear you imply the only reason that I want to save my marriage is because of money."

I knew this could go downhill. Fast. "Molly, I think it's time for you to go. I need to talk to Ryker. Alone."

"Fine." Molly reached for her sunscreen before slipping her feet into her flip-flops and tossing her towel over her shoulder. "I'll call you later."

I waited for her to leave before I said to Ryker, "I'm sorry about that."

"It's not your fault," he said, sinking into the lounge chair next to me. "She's always been a pain in the ass. Nothing's changed."

"I know you don't like her," I said, the warning evident in my tone. "But she's always been there when I needed her."

"Unlike me?" he asked, turning to face me. "That's what you're thinking, isn't it?"

"Do you really want to do this right now?" I was beginning to feel like we'd started losing instead of gaining ground this weekend.

"No, I don't." He leaned forward, rubbing his eyes before replacing his sunglasses. "Sorry, I'm in a mood. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

I wanted to ask if he'd lost sleep thinking about what had happened between us the night before, as I had. "That's okay." I pointed at the small pool house. "It's pretty hot out here. I still have some of your swimsuits in there if you feel like taking a dip."

"Are you asking me to stay?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"If you want to."

"I want to."

I smiled, grateful his back was turned so he couldn't see how pleased I was to be spending more time with him. "Where are the boys?"

"They went across the street."

"To the Andersons'?"

"Yeah."

"I think Zane has a thing for their daughter, Brittany. Has he said anything to you about her?"

He stood, peeling his T-shirt off and making my mouth water. "Nope." He toed his boots off, losing the socks too. "Be right back."

I watched him walk away, wondering why he seemed so distant. I could understand why his argument with Molly might have put him on edge, especially if he hadn't slept well, but I didn't want our time together to feel strained.

I padded over to the bar fridge and pulled out a longneck, his favorite brand. I wanted him to know that I hadn't tried to eradicate all traces of him from the house we'd shared. I popped the top off, withdrawing a vodka cooler for myself. I wasn't big on empty calories these days, but it was hot and I needed something to take the edge off.

"I thought you might like one," I said, holding up the bottle as he crossed the patio.

"You read my mind." He grinned as he held up my bottle. "When did you start drinking these?"

"Mike suggested them. Fewer calories than most cocktails."

His eyes scanned my black bikini as though he were seeing it for the first time. "You definitely do not have to worry about counting calories."

I felt a flush move over my body. God, I loved it when he looked at me like he couldn't wait to get me naked. "Thank you." I held up my bottle. "What shall we drink to?"

"How about making up for lost time?"

I smiled, curling one arm around his neck to bring his head down to meet mine. "I like the sound of that," I whispered just before our lips collided.

After we finally broke apart, he took both of our drinks, setting them down on the outdoor kitchen counter before leaning over. Before I realized what he had in mind, he'd tossed me over his shoulder and was heading toward the pool. I was screaming like a little girl, slapping his back and vowing to get even.

Unfazed, he tossed me in the pool with a chuckle before diving in after me.

By the time I finished swearing and sputtering, I started splashing him relentlessly, forcing him to capture my arms behind my back. Mmmm. I'd forgotten how much I liked being at his mercy.

"Behave yourself," he whispered in my ear before his hot tongue traced the shell while his thick shaft found its way between my legs. "The neighbors are going to think I'm trying to abduct you."

"I thought you didn't care what people think," I teased. Whenever I'd warned the boys to keep it down in the backyard or turn their music down so as not to disturb the neighbors, he reminded me that life was for the living and the neighbors could wear earplugs if they didn't like it.

"I don't care, but I thought you might."

"I care a lot less than I used to."

When Ryker moved out, everyone had an opinion and I heard about it, whether I wanted to or not. That forced me to develop a thick skin. To smile politely and tell people that Ryker and I were getting along fine, but I appreciated their concern.

"I always admired that about you," I said, balancing on my toes while looping my arms around his neck.

"What's that?"

He backed us against the pool wall, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. It was a highly inappropriate position for two people who'd sworn off sex until the time was right, but I had to admit I was more excited and aroused than I'd been in a long time.

"You're not afraid to take risks, and you don't care what people think. I think that was the main reason I fell in love with you." I smiled when his lips swept over my neck. "That, and this." I squeezed his butt, which seemed as hard now as it had then. It wasn't fair that he'd gotten even sexier with age, while I'd started to resent every passing year.

He quirked an eyebrow, his lips twitching. "Are you saying you just wanted me for my body?"

"Among other things." I rocked my hips forward while nipping his lower lip. I knew I was being naughty, starting something we couldn't finish, but it felt good to flirt with him again, feeling the weight of arousal and knowing if he could, he wouldn't hesitate to take me to bed.

"Is it because I rocked your world?" he whispered, his voice husky. "Made you forget that loser you were dating?"

It was true he couldn't have been more different from my high school boyfriend. Jared was sweet and kind while Ryker was tough and dangerous. I'd always been the girl who played by the rules, but Ryker barrelled into my life and taught me how much fun it could be to live dangerously once in a while.

"Do you remember our first time?" I asked, letting that night play out like a movie on the big screen. I still remembered every detail, from the smells to the sounds to the clothes we were both wearing.

"Like it was yesterday." His lips floated over my cheek, across my jaw, to my ear.

"Really?" I set my elbows on the stone surround behind me, trusting him to support me. "I thought only women held on to sentimental memories like that."

"How could I not remember the night that changed my life?"

His words made me shiver, reminding me how defenseless I was when he turned on the charm.

"You told me you loved me that night. That's when I knew I could never let you go." I'd known weeks before that Ryker was the man for me, but I tried fighting it, knowing my future with him would be anything but safe and sedate. "That night resulted in a pregnancy scare, remember?"

"I wasn't scared." He looked into my eyes. "Would you be mad if I admitted I was kind of hoping you were pregnant?"

I licked my lips, drawing a soft moan from him as he tilted his hips forward. "Why?"

"I knew a child would connect us for life."

"And our kids have done that, haven't they?"

He shifted, setting me on a built-in bench in the shallow end. "Let me ask you something."

"Sure." The pensive expression coupled with his slight grimace made me hold my breath in anticipation. "What is it?"

"Would you have filed for divorce by now if not for the boys?"

Wow. Didn't see that question coming. "It's difficult to say. Would you be as determined to work through our problems if we didn't have kids?"

"Yes."

I set my palm against his chest, a slow smile spreading across my lips. "You sound pretty sure of yourself."

"I don't love you because you're the mother of my kids, Mac. I love you because you're you."

When he said things like that, I wondered how we'd ever lost our way in the first place. This was the man I loved. My best friend. My soul mate.

We broke apart when we heard Cole and Zane traipsing through the kitchen, calling for us.

"Out here!" Ryker shouted. "In the pool!"

"Oh, hey." Zane grinned when he spotted us. "What are you guys doing?"

I could feel the heat sear my cheeks at the sight of Cole's knowing smile. They weren't little kids anymore. They knew exactly what we'd been doing. "Just going for a dip," I said. "It's hot out here. You guys want to join?" I figured the invitation would make it seem innocent enough.

"No," Cole said. "We're hungry. What's for dinner?"

Ryker laughed. "You guys are always hungry."

"That's one of the perils of having two teenage boys in the house, isn't it?" I asked, smiling at him. "Frequent trips to the grocery store."

"You know it," he replied. "Hey, Cole, grab us a couple of towels from the pool house, would you?"

"Sure."

"Um, I was planning on grilling steaks," I said, daring a sidelong glance at Ryker. "You're welcome to stay if you don't have any plans."

"You have to stay," Zane said, folding his hands under his chin. "Please, Dad. Mom chars everything."

"I do not," I said, stepping out of the pool when Cole returned with the towels. "Tell him, Cole."

"Uh, Mom, no offense, but steak isn't supposed to have that black crust on it."

I tried flicking my son with the towel he'd brought for Ryker, but he grabbed it and got me good, prompting me to squeal and run in the opposite direction.

"No running around the pool," Ryker said, grabbing the towel from Cole before he could zing me with it again. "You two know the rules." He chuckled while wrapping the towel around his waist. "I guess I'll have to stay to save you all from another grilling disaster."

I glared at him, hands on my hips. "That's not fair! You haven't even tasted my steaks."

"And with any luck, I won't have to," he said, grinning.

I grabbed the bottles we'd abandoned earlier and handed the beer to him, but not before I pretended to consider throwing it at him. "You suck, Ryk."

His lips twitched, letting me know the only thing saving me from a naughty response was the presence of our sons.

"Call us when dinner's ready," Zane said. "We're gonna shoot some hoops."

I knew that was their not-so-subtle way of giving us some time alone. As much as I loved our family time, I was happy to have Ryker all to myself for a while. "Shall we go inside?" I asked. "I'll prep the salad while you season the steaks."

"Just like old times," he said, reaching for a lock of my wet hair. He curled it around his finger while drawing me closer. "God, I missed just hanging out with you and the kids like this."

"We've missed it too," I said, slipping my arms around his waist.

# Chapter Eight

Ryker

The laughter and teasing floated around me, making me smile. It wasn't until I realized I'd have to leave soon, that I wouldn't be curling up on the couch to watch some chick flick with Mac or pulling her close in the middle of the night while we slept, that my mood took a nosedive. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here, with my family, in my home, where I belonged.

"You're quiet all of a sudden," Mac said softly while the boys argued about some girl who'd just started dating the quarterback at their private school. "Something wrong?"

Things were better than they'd been in six long months. I knew I had no reason to complain, but there was still a heavy weight weighing me down. The weight of uncertainty. "This is nice," I said, trying to focus on the positive. "Thanks for inviting me."

She gestured to the small piece of meat left on her plate. "Thank you for saving us all from charred meat."

I laughed. "How many times have I told you eating a good steak well-done is a sin?"

"You're right," she said with a heavy sigh. "I have to admit it's much better this way."

Zane pulled his phone out of his pocket as soon as it rang. "Uh, I have to take this."

We usually frowned on cell phones at the dinner table, but we'd agreed to be a little more lax about the rules tonight while we all tried to figure out our new roles in this new family dynamic.

"May I be excused too?" Cole asked. "There's someone I need to call back."

"Sure," I said, without thinking to consult Mac. A quick nod told me she'd appreciate the alone time as much as I would.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, covering my hand with hers as she sat back in the wrought-iron chair.

"Just thinking there's nowhere else I'd rather be. I used to take dinners like this for granted." I cleared my throat before reaching for my bottled water. "There're a lot of things I used to take for granted. I won't make that mistake again, Mac." I wanted her to know, without a doubt, that things would be different if she let me come home.

She squeezed my hand before withdrawing hers. "I think this experience has taught us both some valuable lessons."

I wanted to hear more about her life since I'd left. "This life coach of yours, she's helped you to redefine things?" She still hadn't told me about her plans to get her real estate license, and I wanted that to be something she felt free to discuss with me before she made any definite decisions. It's not that I felt I had the right to weigh in, but I wanted to nonetheless.

"She really has."

"Tell me."

Her smile told me she was pleased that I was interested in learning more about her plans. "Well, when you left, I felt kind of lost. I knew I needed to make some changes, but I didn't know where to begin."

I could understand her dilemma. The kids had always been her primary focus. Now they were getting older and didn't need her as much, which left her with a lot more time on her hands. "So, where did you start?" I asked, shifting the chair back.

"Well, she emailed me a lot of questionnaires at first. She wanted to establish where I was, where I wanted to go, what I hoped to achieve as a result of working with her."

"What did you hope to achieve?"

"I wanted to find myself again." She shook her head. "That sounds really cliché, but it's true. I got so busy taking care of my family, I forgot to take care of my own needs. I didn't really have any hobbies. All of my free time was spent volunteering, which I still love, but I came to the realization that I couldn't be of value to anyone else until I learned to really value myself."

"That makes sense."

She traced her fingertip over the pattern in the outdoor table cloth. "So I started to ask myself some tough questions, things I hadn't thought about since college."

"Such as?"

"I narrowed down the things I like." She smiled. "I even had a few sessions with a career counsellor so we could do some aptitude and assessment tests."

"Wow, you have been busy, haven't you?" I admired her for finding the courage to dig deeper and try to find her passion. I was surrounded by people who were just going through the motions, and I didn't want that for the woman I loved.

"I have." She nodded. "It's important for me to figure out what I'm good at, what I'm meant to do."

It was so easy for me to identify her strengths. I could rhyme them off without thinking twice, but I could understand why it was important for her to uncover them on her own after some serious soul-searching. "So, what did you figure out?"

"I like working with people," she said, smiling. "I like helping people."

"Right."

"I need something where I can set my own hours because my family will always be my first priority."

I knew that, but it was nice to hear her confirm it.

"I had so much fun when we were looking for this house and the cottage. You hated it when I dragged you from one open house to another, but I loved it. Remember?"

"How could I forget?" I teased, rolling my eyes. "I think we saw a hundred houses before we finally settled on this one."

"I just wanted to be sure," she said, pouting. "Deciding where to raise your family is an important decision, and I wanted to make sure we wouldn't regret it."

I looked around the several acres of land that now felt sacred to me. I remembered when the trees we planted were just a few feet tall. Now they were over twenty feet. I used to complain the landscaping looked sparse during the first couple of years, despite the fact we'd paid a fortune for it. Now it looked lush and full, just like the horticulturist promised it would. We put the pool in the summer before the boys turned seven and eight because Mac swore she would go crazy without something to occupy them over school break.

"I don't regret buying this place for a minute. To tell you the truth, I miss it every damn day." I didn't have to tell her it was the people I missed more than the land and bricks with mortar. She knew. "This was the only real home I've ever had."

We moved out of the little apartment we'd shared when we found out Mac was pregnant. She wanted a backyard for our child, where he could toss a ball and have a pet if he wanted one. We did get that pet. A chocolate Lab named Lyla. She died last year and took a little piece of our hearts with her.

"You ever think about getting another dog?" I asked, sensing she would appreciate a lighter topic.

"I don't know." She took a sip of the wine we'd opened with dinner. "The boys are getting older now and dogs are a big commitment, especially if I'm not going to be home during the day."

I knew it was the perfect opening for me to ask whether she was serious about going to work for Baxter, but we'd had such a good time reconnecting, I didn't want to spoil it by putting her on the defensive.

"Remember, we said we'd get one dog the boys could grow up with?"

"Yeah, but we didn't plan on another because we wanted to travel when the kids went away to college."

"There were so many places we wanted to visit," she said, sighing. "So many things we never got to do."

"It's not too late," I said, hoping I wasn't overstepping. "We'll still be young enough to go anywhere, do anything, when Zane and Cole leave home."

"I don't want to think about what that will be like, when they leave home," she said, flattening her hand over her stomach.

She'd slipped a short, black terry cover-up with a front zip over her swimsuit, but the zipper wasn't doing its job. It was still low enough to distract me from conversation.

"I'll miss them like crazy."

"You still have a few years before you have to worry about that," I reminded her, reaching for my bottled water. Knowing I had to drive home, I'd stopped after two drinks. "Besides, it sounds like you're developing a lot of new interests. That should keep you busy." I didn't want her to think I didn't support her choices, so I added, "That's a good thing. It's good to be busy."

"You ever think you'll slow down?" she asked. "You used to talk about putting in the time now, building it to the point where your brother could run it, and retiring early. Is that still the plan?"

"I thought about doing that so I could travel with you," I reminded her. "I guess it'll just depend on what happens with us." I wanted to remain positive, to let her know that I was committed to saving our marriage, but I didn't want her to think I was taking anything for granted. I'd made that mistake before. I wouldn't do it again.

"Would you like some coffee?"

I was surprised by the abrupt change in conversation but didn't let on. "Uh sure, that'd be great. Thanks."

While Mac was in the kitchen, I responded to a few emails and deleted a text from the bartender I'd gone out with. I knew I'd have to face her eventually, if only to tell her I didn't want to see her again. It wasn't fair to leave her hanging after I'd promised to call. I didn't want to be one of those guys, even though I knew she wasn't the woman for me.

"Here we go," Mac said, setting two mugs on the table.

She'd already prepared mine exactly the way I liked it, and though it was a little thing, the gesture made me smile. Mac knew me better than anyone, and being with her, no matter where we were, felt like home. "Thanks."

"I meant to ask you about that motorcycle you left in the garage," she said, settling down in the chair next to me.

"You want me to get it out of here?" I had an extensive bike collection, so I made sure I had plenty of storage space for them, at my house and at the manufacturing facility we'd built.

"No, not at all," she said, touching my hand. "There's plenty of room in the garage. I was, uh, just wondering if it still runs well. You haven't had it out of the garage in a while."

I took a sip of my coffee, sighing with pleasure. She'd made it just the way I liked it. Strong. "I'm sure it still runs great."

"There's only one way to know for sure," she said, smiling. "Take it out for a spin."

"Tonight?" I asked, my heart racing at the prospect. I'd been driving the truck all weekend because of the boys. I thought I'd have to wait until morning to take one of my babies for a spin.

"Sure, why not? I might even tag along if you feel like a little company."

It occurred to me it had been years since Mac had been on the back of my bike. How the hell had I let that happen? I remembered how much she used to love it. Though she wasn't interested in learning to ride one herself, she'd always loved the thrill and freedom of riding with me.

"I'd love some company. Why don't you go and get changed and I'll fire her up."

"Great!" Her eyes were dancing with excitement when she jumped up, reminding me the little things always gave her the most pleasure. "I'll tell the boys we'll be out for a bit."

"What about the coffee?" I asked, raising my mug.

"I don't know about you, but being on the back of that bike will give me the shot of adrenaline I need."

I smiled as I watched her run into the house. This was going to be fun.

***

One of the things I loved most about living in Tampa was the easy access to the ocean. Though I couldn't claim to have spent much time at the beach in recent years, it was nice to know it was always a short drive away.

"I remember bringing the kids here when they were small," Mac said, climbing off the bike and removing her helmet before fluffing her hair. "They could have spent all day, every day here, building sand castles and swimming."

I stared at her a long time as memories came flooding back. Sunday afternoons when we'd stretch out on a towel while the boys napped in the shade. We'd spread suntan lotion on each other and steal a kiss whenever we could. It physically hurt to think we'd never have moments like that with our kids again. I only wished I'd appreciated them more at the time.

"What's wrong?" she asked, reaching out to smooth the frown lines between my eyes.

I grabbed her hand, kissing it. "Nothing's wrong. Just recalling some good times."

Mac looked beautiful wearing slim-fitting jeans, a black tank top, and a light-weight cropped leather jacket. She'd argued it was too hot for boots, but I told her those were the rules if she wanted to ride with me. I wasn't taking any chances with her safety. Ever.

She ran a hand over the hand-tooled leather bike seat. "This bike is so beautiful, Ryker. Like a work of art."

It was cherry red with hand-painted black embellishments and lots of chrome. It came from a Limited Edition collection I'd designed and manufactured for mass production. That collection was now offered by more than a hundred dealers across the country. The next best thing for those who couldn't afford custom. I still wanted them to feel they were getting the custom experience without the price tag, and I was proud of the way it had turned out.

"Thanks."

I reached for her hand, leading her toward the path that connected to the sandy beach. We both kicked off our boots and stashed them under a tree along with our helmets. Bikes like mine didn't have a lot of storage, and since the custom helmets were one of a kind and hand-painted by my best friend who'd passed away, I didn't want to take any chances with them.

We walked along in silence for a few minutes, appreciating the sound of the crashing waves. I glanced up and whispered, "Shooting star. Quick, make a wish."

She giggled. "Your star, your wish."

"I'm giving it to you." I would give her anything. Everything. If only she knew how much power she had over me.

"In that case..." She squeezed her eyes shut, just like she did every time we presented her with a birthday cake. "Okay." She tipped her head up, her eyes lingering over my lips. "Hmm, it hasn't come true yet."

I smiled as I stopped in her path, wrapping my hands around her face. "What was your wish, beautiful?"

"If I tell you, it won't come true."

"I can make any and all of your wishes come true." I wanted to believe that, but I knew Mac's wishes had never revolved around money and material possessions. They'd been built around love, family, and altruistic causes. "You just have to tell me what they are."

"I wished you'd kiss me," she whispered. "Just like you did the first time."

Of course she'd remember this was where our first kiss had happened almost twenty years ago. I hadn't brought her here by accident. I was trying to resurrect our best memories, so she couldn't help but remember how great it had been before it all fell apart.

I kissed her softly, as though we had all the time in the world to get to know each other all over again. The first time, I'd been a randy teenager who had no idea that good things were worth waiting for and the best things came to patient men who didn't lose faith.

The kiss went on forever, which still wasn't long enough. I stroked the recesses of her sweet mouth with my tongue, setting her on fire with my heat and desire.

"Wow," she said, gripping my biceps. "I'd forgotten how potent your kisses could be. My legs are shaking."

I wrapped my arms around her waist, picking her up off the ground, so we were eye level. "I'll never get enough of you, Mac."

She kissed a path from my jaw to my ear. "I feel the same way. The more time we spend together, the more I want to be with you."

It wasn't an invitation to come back home, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.

# Chapter Nine

Mackenzie

I was sitting across from Mr. Baxter, listening to his pitch about why I should join his brokerage instead of one of the others that offered virtually the same incentives.

"It'll be easy enough for you to get your license, Mackenzie. But once you have it, the question is what you'll do with it. There's a reason ninety percent of new agents fail their first year, because they don't know what the hell they're doing."

I wasn't afraid of working hard, but I had to admit the picture he painted made me question whether I could be among the ten percent who succeeded.

"I set my agents up to succeed with training programs that go above and beyond what you'll get anywhere else. Most brokers throw their agents to the wolves. They don't care if they succeed as long as they're not a liability."

"But that doesn't make sense," I argued. "Since the brokerage takes a cut, wouldn't it be in the broker's best interest to ensure the agent succeeds?"

"You would think so, wouldn't you?" he asked, thrusting a beefy finger at me. "But most don't want to invest the money I have. I've got one of the top trainers in the state working for me. Been in the business twenty-five years. Not only will she set you up with everything you need--business cards, signage and such--but she'll hold your hand the entire time. She'll set you up with a marketing plan that'll help you get noticed. There are thousands of agents, and you have to figure out how you're going to stand out among the crowd. Let me tell you, it's not that easy, especially when you're starting out."

I knew he was right. I had no experience, no clue what I was doing. But I was a hard worker and a quick study. "I understand what you're saying, and it makes sense."

I'd decided to speak to a few brokers before I went ahead with my license to make sure I was making the right career choice. I didn't want to be impulsive or make a decision I would later regret. If working with my life coach, Barbara, had taught me one thing, it was the importance of weighing the pros and cons before I jumped in with both feet.

"I'd like you to meet Beth," he said, referring to the trainer he'd mentioned. "I think you two will really hit it off."

As he was about to stand, I said, "Mr. Baxter, I'd like to ask you a question."

"Go ahead," he said, brushing his receding brown hair back with a hand. "Ask away."

"I'm just wondering why you think I would be a good fit for your brokerage?" As he'd so often pointed out, I was clueless when it came to the business, so I questioned what I had to offer.

He chuckled. "You can't deny there's a certain amount of notoriety that comes with the Steele name in this city."

He was offering me this opportunity because of Ryker and his brothers' hard work? That's not what I wanted. "Um, I'm not interested in using my husband's connections to drum up business."

His eyes drifted to my wedding rings. I hadn't been wearing them during our last meeting, but after my promise to Ryker and the way the old man had ogled me last time, I wanted to make it very clear that I was married.

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, you'll soon figure out this business is all about who you know. You'd be smart to capitalize on your husband's success. He's been on TV a bunch of times. He has a successful business right here in town, employs hundreds of people, not to mention that a lot of his clients are the very same ones you should be targeting."

It was all coming into sharper focus. He didn't want me. He wanted Ryker's connections.

"You sit tight," he said before I could object. "I'll go and get Beth."

There was no way I would join his brokerage now, but I hadn't felt great about any of the other brokerages I'd visited either. I tried not to feel dejected, but my dream of a career and self-sufficiency was slipping away.

Thankfully, I had a call scheduled with Barbara in a few hours. Maybe she could help me get back on track.

After a brief introduction, Mr. Baxter excused himself, claiming he had a conference call.

"I won't take up too much of your time, Beth," I said, smiling at the gray-haired lady sitting across from me. She reminded me of my mother, with her silver-framed glasses and warm, albeit crooked smile. I liked her instantly. "To be honest, I'm not sure this is the right path for me."

She picked up her gold pen and held it between her fingertips at either end. Narrowing her eyes as though she were trying to make sense of me, she said, "This business is definitely not for the faint of heart, Mackenzie. I've seen even the most determined people fail. If you're having any reservations, it may not be the right time for you."

I didn't want her to think I was flaky. "I was really just gathering the facts before I made a decision, but Mr. Baxter said some things that made me question whether this will work."

She laughed lightly. "Ah yes, he's definitely not a diplomat. I keep telling him that he's his own worst enemy when it comes to attracting new agents. If he let me take the initial meetings, I think we'd have a higher conversion rate."

"You're probably right," I said, thinking about the way he'd zeroed in on my cleavage the first time we met. Today I was careful to dress with his wandering eyes in mind: a crew neck blouse and blazer.

"May I ask what he said to deter you?"

"He just implied that I could use my husband's contacts to get ahead, and to be honest, the reason I'm doing this is to establish my own identity, apart from being a wife and mother."

"It's not easy to live in a successful man's shadow, is it?" I suspected she was speaking from experience, and the large diamond decorating her left hand confirmed it.

"No."

Since Ryker was in the public eye, I was certain the fact that we'd separated had made the rounds online. Though I hadn't checked, I was pretty sure anyone who Googled his name would learn that he was estranged from his wife.

"Is he supportive of your decision to pursue a career?"

I thought about our talk the other night and his job offer. After my talk with Baxter, becoming Ryker's office manager wasn't the worst idea I'd ever heard. But it still wouldn't give me the independence I was looking for.

"Yes, he is." I hadn't spoken to him about real estate, but I believed he wanted me to be happy and would support my decision.

"This may seem strange coming from me," Beth said, tossing her pen down on the table, "especially since my job is to recruit new agents, but I don't think you're cut out for this business, Mackenzie."

Ouch. "May I ask why?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you may be a little too... nice. The people who succeed in this business are the ones who aren't afraid to step on a few toes and get their hands dirty."

"I appreciate your candor," I said, standing to shake her hand. "I'll follow up with Mr. Baxter to let him know I've changed my mind."

"Good luck with whatever you decide, Mackenzie. I'm sure the perfect opportunity is out there waiting for you."

Too bad I wasn't as certain as she was. As I walked out of the office, I realized I was back to square one, with no direction or purpose.

***

I tried to force some enthusiasm into my voice when Barbara called, but she'd known me long enough to know when I was faking it.

"How have things been?" she asked in that cheerful tone that usually made me smile.

"Um, a lot has happened since the last time we talked."

"Oh, that sounds juicy. Do tell."

That was Barbara's favorite word to describe fun and exciting events and opportunities. Juicy.

"Well, I went on my first and last date." Just thinking about that man made me cringe.

"Your first and last date?" Barbara asked, laughing. "I don't understand. Was it so bad you've sworn off men?"

"All except for one." Barbara knew the story of Mac and Ryker almost as well as I did. She knew the reasons I'd asked him to move out and the fact that I was still struggling with my feelings for him. "Ryker."

"You've spent time with Ryker?" she asked, sounding surprised. "How did that happen?" I relayed the story about the key and our late-night chat at his place before she said, "It sounds like your sons want their parents back together, which isn't surprising, but the question is, what do you want, Mac?"

We'd spent a lot of time over the past six months trying to uncover what I wanted and what was holding me back. I could understand her concern about me reverting to old patterns for the sake of safety and security. "I never wanted to get a divorce." Which was code for I'm afraid to be alone. Even though Ryker had moved out, I still didn't feel it was over. I believed as long as we hadn't filed papers and he still had some clothes hanging in the closet, there was a good chance he was coming back.

"No one wants a divorce," Barbara said gently. "But sometimes it's for the best."

"Sometimes it is," I concurred. "But I'm not convinced it's the best thing for me and Ryker." I knew I sounded defensive, but after the day I'd had, I felt I was justified in defending the one thing I still knew for sure. I loved my husband.

"Let's come back to that," Barbara suggested. "You have more news?"

"I've decided not to pursue the real estate thing."

"Oh? Why's that?"

That was typical Barb. She didn't offer her opinion. She just asked the questions that helped me find the answers on my own. "I met with some brokers like you suggested." We'd talked about taking bold first steps. Barb claimed any goal could be achieved through measurable action steps, and my homework for the week was to meet with a few brokerages and decide whether any of them felt like a good fit for me.

"Obviously it didn't go as well as you'd hoped?"

"I was basically told I was too nice, but not before the broker suggested the only way I would succeed is if I was willing to use Ryker's name and contacts." I sighed. "That's not what I want. In fact, it would defeat the whole purpose. I want to do something important, something that's meaningful to me. I just don't know what that is anymore."

I hated sounding so dejected and defeated, especially after we'd made such great progress over the past several months, but it was hard not to feel lost when I felt like I was right back where I started.

"I read the assessment you emailed me the other day."

Barb liked her clients to complete reviews every few months to ensure they were making progress and felt her service was beneficial. I'd been on a high when I completed it, believing things were finally starting to fall into place. If I had to complete it now, I would likely respond very differently.

"I drew some interesting conclusions from it," she said. "Things you may not have been aware of."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you have it handy?" Barb asked.

I reached for the folder containing all the documents pertaining to our sessions. She often requested that I complete homework and she liked me to keep a record of it so I could monitor my own progress. "Right here," I said, pulling the stapled pages out of the file. My eyes scanned the document as I recalled the questions she'd asked and how I'd felt when I responded.

"Do you see a pattern there, Mac? Take your time. Read over it."

Many of the questions pertained to my core values. I referenced my family a lot, as well as how important it was for me to give back and feel as though I was contributing something of value to the world. I wanted to feel needed and appreciated. Respected would be nice too.

"I see it, but I'm still not sure how that relates to my current dilemma. I need a job, and I can't figure out what the hell I'm supposed to be doing with my life."

"When we first started working together, you told me that gained a lot of satisfaction from volunteering at your sons' school when they were younger, right?"

"Yes."

"That made you feel like you were doing something important and your time was valuable?"

I thought of the dozens of causes I'd been a part of over the years. Everything from fundraisers to help families who'd fallen on hard times to coat and food drives. "Yeah, I felt a real sense of accomplishment being a part of a successful campaign, but it's been a while since I've done anything like that. Most of it was through the boys' school, and since they're older now, we don't really get as involved anymore."

"Right," Barbara said. "You were the one they would always call on to head up the committees or rally the troops."

"Something like that." I didn't want to take too much credit. It was definitely a group effort, and I couldn't have accomplished anything without a committed group of volunteers to help me.

"Were you happily married then?"

"Excuse me?" I wasn't expecting the shift in conversation and didn't understand how the two topics tied together.

"Were you happy with Ryker then? It's a simple question."

I thought back to whether I'd been satisfied in my marriage several years ago. "Yes, I guess I was."

"Do you think that may be because you were happier with yourself?"

It was a valid question, one that would definitely require some more soul-searching. "Perhaps."

"So, it seems you're happy with your marriage when you're happy with yourself. Is that fair to say?"

I suspected Barb had been working her way around to this for a long time now. But learning that I'd spent time with Ryker had given her the opening she needed. "I suppose so." I was already much happier with myself in many ways. I felt better than I had in years. I had more energy and liked the reflection I saw in the mirror. That was a start.

"So what would make you happy?"

I wanted to tell her I was paying her to help me figure that out, but I knew that would be a cop-out. "Feeling as though my time is being well-spent. Going to bed at night with the knowledge that I accomplished what I intended to that day. Waking up in the morning excited about what lay ahead. Making decisions other than what to pack for lunch and make for dinner."

Barbara laughed. "You want to feel as though you're being challenged and stimulated again?"

"Yes."

"Okay," she said, sounding excited. "Here's your homework for the week. Do some research into local organizations that could use someone with your particular skill set. Also, determine which careers would align with your interests. You know what you love to do. Decide if any of those things could be a profitable business."

"Okay, I'll look into it." At least I had a plan now. That made me feel better.

"Now, about Ryker. Where did you leave things with him?"

"We agreed to take things slow, spend more time together and see where things go. And we also agreed we wouldn't date other people."

"That's probably wise," Barb said. "It's difficult, if not impossible, to rebuild a marriage when there are other people involved."

I certainly didn't want to think about him dating other people and I knew he felt the same way, so I felt good about our decision.

"Have you talked to Ryker about your interest in working outside the home?"

"Some."

"Do you mind if I make a suggestion?"

"Of course not." I appreciated the fact that Barb always asked permission before expressing her opinion, so as not to influence my decisions.

"Talk to Ryker. You said yourself he knows you better than anyone. He may be able to help you gain some clarity. Often the people who know us best are able to shine light on our strengths, even when we can't see them for ourselves."

I knew she was right. This was an important life decision, and I wanted to include my husband, to get his advice and feedback. The idea of talking to him about it made me smile, reminding me we were slowly learning how to communicate again, just like we'd done during the early years of our marriage when I was happier and more fulfilled than I'd ever been.

"I'll talk to him."

"Good. If you need me before our next session, just fire off an email."

"Will do, thanks, Barb."

# Chapter Ten

Ryker

I was surprised and a little nervous when Mac called and asked if we could meet for coffee. I didn't want her to tell me that she was reconsidering our new arrangement.

When she walked into the crowded café, every man turned to stare and she didn't even realize it as she made her way to my table. Mac had always been humble and completely unaware of how irresistible she was to the opposite sex. Luckily for me.

"Hey, beautiful," I said, standing to kiss her cheek. "I ordered coffee. Do you want anything else?"

"No, that's fine for now," she said, smiling at the waitress who delivered two cups of our favorite brew to the table. "Thank you."

I took a moment to appreciate her while she prepared her coffee. She was wearing a long, multi-colored summer dress with flat black sandals. It was completely shapeless, but the decadent cleavage made it obvious she was hiding an incredible body under the layers of delicate fabric.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she said, "Thanks so much for meeting me, Ryker. I hope I didn't drag you away from anything important."

I chucked. "Just a Mentalist rerun."

She smiled, obviously remembering our deal. I'd watch the sappy reality shows with her if she watched the psychological dramas with me.

"I've been watching it this season," she said, pressing her lips into a line to keep from smiling. "I have to admit, there have been some pretty interesting plot twists."

I gaped at her. "I thought you only watched it because I made you watch it with me."

She shrugged. "I only said that so you'd watch the Bachelor with me."

From her romance novels to her reality shows promising a happily ever after, Mac was a sucker for a good love story.

After a shared smile, she said, "I met with Mr. Baxter from Baxter reality today to talk to him about the possibility of me joining his firm."

I had mixed feelings. I was happy she was including me in her decisions and grateful that she hadn't called me here because she'd had a change of heart, but I hated the thought of her working for that old letch. "The boys mentioned you were considering getting your real estate license."

"Turns out I've changed my mind about that."

I could tell she was torn about the decision, and I wanted to be supportive. "Why's that?"

"I spoke to Baxter's trainer, and she made me realize I may not be cut out for that business."

"She doesn't know you like I do. When you set your mind to something, you do it, so if this is something you really want, don't let anyone dissuade you, Mac. Baxter's may not be the best fit for you, but that doesn't mean you won't find another brokerage that'll appreciate you."

I hated the thought of anyone making Mac feel she wasn't good enough. I realized I'd wasted too many years not encouraging her the way I should have, but that was about to change. Her goals were my goals now and I would do anything I could to help her.

"Baxter implied that I should use your connections to build my client base." She made a face as though she'd eaten something sour. "I told him I was determined to make it on my own, but he acted as though that was laughable. I'm blessed with a rich and connected husband, why not use him, right?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Anyone who would even suggest that clearly had no concept of the kind of woman Mac was. She hated asking me for favors, even when we were together. There were so many times she had hosted important events and needed donations for a silent auction or a recognizable guest M.C. and she would be afraid to ask me because she didn't want me to think she was taking advantage of me.

She didn't know I would have given her anything and everything she asked for. Then and now.

"Anything I can do to help you, you know I will, sweetheart."

"I appreciate that," she said, smiling as she wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. "But the only help I need from you right now is a little advice."

Nothing she could have said would have pleased me more. Just knowing that she valued my opinion and wanted me to weigh in on her future meant everything to me. "I'm listening."

"So, I had a session with Barb today."

"Your coach?"

"Yeah." She took a sip of her coffee before leaning back against the upholstered chair. "I told her about what happened with Baxter and the fact that I was having second thoughts about getting my real estate license, and she suggested I analyze my interests and skill set to figure out what I might like to do. We talked about how much I'd enjoyed volunteering, so maybe something in the non-profit sector, but I don't know for sure."

Mackenzie lived to help others and felt most fulfilled when she was working as part of a group to further an important cause, so that made perfect sense to me. "I think that's a great idea."

"You do?" she asked, brightening at my enthusiasm.

I didn't realize until that moment how much my encouragement meant to her, and it made me wish I'd given it every chance I got. From now on I would, just as she'd always supported me, even when my dreams looked like long shot. "Absolutely. I know how much you've always enjoyed volunteer work."

"There are a few non-profits offering paid opportunities, mostly part-time, but I'm not sure I'd be qualified. I don't have any formal work experience."

"Come on," I said, rolling my eyes. "You've chaired every type of fundraiser I can think of, from formal galas to bake sales. I'm sure you'd get a hundred people to vouch for you, no problem." Before she could interject, I said, "Paid or volunteer, it doesn't matter, Mac. As long as you're doing something that makes you happy."

She shifted in her seat, and I could tell she was uncomfortable talking about finances. Nothing had changed since I moved out. She still had full access to our joint bank account. The houses and cars were paid for, as were the property taxes and school tuition. I never asked Mac how she spent money when we were together and didn't need to know now. I trusted her.

"I'd like to contribute something," she said, her shoulders slumping slightly. "That's always been a bit of a sore spot for me, not making my own money."

I didn't know many women whose husbands earned seven figures a year yet still felt guilty about spending money. It was ridiculous as far as I was concerned, and I knew she had to get over it so we could move on.

"Mac," I said, reaching across the table for her hand, "what's mine is yours. Period."

My lawyer had worked himself into a frenzy when he heard I'd moved out, mainly because I'd married Mac before I had two nickels to rub together and my attorney knew I stood to lose a fortune if we divorced. It didn't take me long to convince him if Mac divorced me, I stood to lose a hell of a lot more than money. I'd lose everything that meant anything to me. She could have my money. I just wanted her.

"You're so sweet to say that," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I've always appreciated that fact you never made me feel bad about not working. But the more successful you became, the more I felt the pain of the disparity between us."

"You think that's part of the reason we drifted apart?" I asked her, desperate to know the reasons she'd started putting up walls between us.

"Maybe." Her eyes drifted to her hand, and I smiled when I noticed she was wearing her wedding rings again. "I know it seems silly. Most women would be thrilled that their husbands were successful and able to provide an enviable life for their family, but it always made me feel guilty that I wasn't pulling my own weight."

I slowly released her hand as I leaned back in my chair and looked up at the ceiling. There were no words to describe the ways she'd enhanced my life, but I had to say something that would convince her she'd given so much more than she'd ever taken from me.

"I work my ass off for three reasons. You. Zane. Cole. That's it. That's why I get out of bed in the morning. That's why I've taken stupid risks and lost sleep praying it would work out. That's why I've risked expansion and rode it out through recessions. That's why I've made deals I never thought I would. Because of you. I wouldn't be where I am without you, Mac. You have to believe that. You're my motivation, the reason I do what I do."

"Don't you dare make me cry here, Ryker," she said, biting her trembling lip.

"Without you, I'd still be part of that motorcycle... club." I smiled when her lips twitched. "I probably would have been in jail, wasting my life away, instead of building a business I'm proud of. So when I tell you I wouldn't have a dime to my name without you, believe it."

"So you don't think it's a bad idea to take a volunteer position just to get my foot in the door? Maybe when they see what I have to offer, they'll offer me a paid position."

"They'd be crazy not to."

"Thanks, Ryker."

"For what?"

"For making me feel better."

"That's my job," I said, reaching across the table to kiss her hand. "What are the boys up to tonight?"

"They're supposed to be studying for exams, but when I checked in on Cole, he was watching YouTube videos on his iPad. I told him he'd better get to work."

"They've both had a good school year though," I said. "As and Bs. Nothing wrong with that."

"No, I know you're right," she said, taking a drink of her coffee. "They've worked hard, and I'm proud of them."

"What about summer jobs?" I asked. "They're too old to be lazing around the house all summer doing nothing. You want me to find something for them to do at the factory?"

"I was going to talk to you about that," she said, nodding. "I think that's a great idea, but I still want them to have time and energy for friends and fun. They're only teenagers once, right?"

"Yeah." I knew from experience that too much leisure time as a teen could be dangerous. "So maybe twenty-five hours a week?"

"That would be perfect."

"Cool. I'll start picking them up next Monday morning. Exams are finished by then?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "I guess we should talk about Zane getting a car now that he's taking driver's lessons, shouldn't we?" She shuddered. "Though I'm not gonna lie, I hate the thought of it."

I chuckled. "He's a responsible kid. We won't have any problems." Many parents would say I was being naïve, but I trusted my sons to make good decisions and do the right thing.

"I hope you're right."

"Hey, why'd you want to meet here?" I asked, shaking my head when the waitress approached to ask if we wanted a refill. "You could have just come to my place." I wondered if she was questioning the wisdom of being alone with me after the last time we'd gotten a little too comfortable on my couch.

"I have to hit the gym after this. Get in some cardio."

I knew her gym was just down the street and Nex's suggestion reminded me I'd be missing out on a great opportunity if I let her go alone. "You mind if I tag along? I've been thinking about joining. Nex tells me it's a pretty good facility."

"But you have a gym at home."

"So do you. Why don't you use it?"

She laughed. "It's easier to motivate myself when I see other people working hard."

Motivation had never been my problem. I loved working out, but I loved spending time with my wife even more. "I'm sometimes tired when I get home from work. It might be easier if I just hit the gym on my lunch break instead. Besides, your gym is only ten minutes from my office. It'd be perfect."

"Do you have to stop at home to change?"

"No, I keep stuff in the car. Sometimes I get out of the office and go for a run. It helps clear the cobwebs."

"I love running now too," she said, shaking her head. "I never thought I'd say that. But jogging and hiking can be so exhilarating." She blushed when she said, "You've been trying to tell me that for years."

I wasn't interested in being right. I was just glad we were finding more ways to enjoy being together. "We should start running together, maybe even plan a few hikes?" I knew I'd chosen a house only fifteen minutes from hers for a reason.

"I'd love that," she said, clasping her hands under her chin. "I love running at night, but I never felt comfortable doing it alone."

"Perfect."

"We could go for a run right now," she suggested. "Instead of going to the gym."

"Um..." I wanted to go to the gym with her, to let all the guys Nex mentioned who'd been checking her out know that she was definitely taken. "Looks like it might rain. Why don't we stick to the track at the gym tonight?"

"Sounds good to me."

I tossed a bill on the table and put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as I kissed her temple. This time the guys were watching me instead of her, sending me a very clear message: you're one lucky bastard. Don't I know it, boys.

***

Even though Mac had a guest pass, I decided to join right away instead of taking advantage of the trial. I wanted any excuse to spend time with her and to let every guy there who might have misguided ideas know she was mine. Including her personal trainer and my old friend, Mike.

When Mac slipped into the dressing room to change, I approached the reception desk where Mike was standing with his back to me. "Hey, stranger."

Mike turned around, grinning when he saw me. "Ryker, how the hell have you been, man?" He offered his hand. "It's been a long time."

"Too long," I said sincerely. I liked Mike, even though the fact that he was now single made him something of a threat. "I was sorry to hear about you and Suzie."

He shrugged, his eyes darkening. "It happens. I was sorry to hear about you and Mac too. She's one hell of a woman. Can't be easy to let her go."

Apparently, I wasn't being paranoid about assuming he'd be interested in my wife. "I haven't let her go. Never will."

His eyebrows shot up. It would have been comical if I weren't so pissed. It was hard enough to think of a stranger moving in on my woman, but the prospect of a friend doing it made it that much worse.

"You mean you guys are back together? I had no idea."

"We're working things out." I was careful not to say anything Mac might contradict, but I wanted Mike to know Mac was definitely off the market. "In fact, she's here with me. I guess you didn't see her head into the changing room?"

"No, I guess I didn't." His eyes drifted to the locker rooms, almost as though he hoped to catch a glimpse of Mackenzie.

"So I was hoping you could hook me up with a membership. Mac and I decided it would be easier to work out together, you know, give us a chance to spend more time together."

"Oh, uh, yeah sure. I can help you out with that." He looked around almost as though he were waiting for someone to come and save him. "The receptionist usually takes care of memberships, but she must be on her break." He passed me a clipboard with a questionnaire on it along with a pen. "Just fill that out for me."

I did as he asked, hesitating over the address. I didn't want him to know Mac and I were still living apart. I finally put my old home address on the line, reasoning that it was still technically my house. My name was on the deed along with Mac's, even if my mail wasn't being delivered there anymore.

"How are the kids?" I asked, passing the form back to him. "Brandon bugging you about getting his driver's license yet?"

"You know it," Mike said, smirking. "How about Zane? You bought him a car yet?"

"Not yet, but I've got my eye on one." That would be a surprise not only for Zane, but for his mom too. Mac would lose it when she saw that old car brought back to life.

"Yeah, Brandon's got his eye on more than one." He laughed. "Every other day he's sending me a link to another one, telling me this is the one."

I chuckled. "You see much of the kids?"

"Na, you know how it is when they get that age. They don't want to spend time with us anymore."

I was grateful it wasn't that way with my boys. We still loved hanging out together. In fact, after the belt ceremony next weekend, I was going to suggest a family trip to the cottage so the boys and I could do some fishing and Mac and I could do some hiking. There were four bedrooms, which meant we wouldn't necessarily be sharing the master, but I hoped by then, I'd have erased any and all of her doubts about me.

I passed Mike my credit card while Mac made her way toward the desk. "Are we all set?" She smiled at her trainer. "Hey, Mike, how's it going?"

"Good." His nod was sharp, and he barely looked at her. "Why didn't you tell me you and Ryker were back together?"

She seemed taken aback by the question as her gaze drifted to mine. "It's a recent development."

"Well, congratulations," Mike said, shoving my card into the machine and passing the hand-held unit to me. "I'm glad you guys were able to work things out."

"Thanks," she said hesitantly.

It was obvious there was some tension between them, and I wanted to know why.

"Guess you won't need me anymore," he said, tearing the slip of paper from the machine and passing a copy to me while keeping one for himself, "now that you'll be working out with Ryker. He's spent even more time in a gym over the years than I have. And now you'll be able to keep up with him thanks to me."

Mac gaped at him before snapping her mouth shut. "I hadn't intended to stop working with you, but you know what? Maybe it's better if I did."

"Yeah, you got this great body, now Ryker wants you back." He looked at me, his eyes narrowing. "You're welcome."

I wanted to lay him out right there, not for disrespecting me but for implying the only reason I wanted my wife back was because she'd dropped some weight. That was playing right into Mac's insecurities, which was the last thing I needed or wanted.

"You have no idea," I said, shoving a hand into his chest. "What you're--"

"Ryker, please," Mac said, tugging on my arm. "Let's just go and work out."

I considered my options. Get the satisfaction of putting this guy in his place and pissing my wife off or showing her I wasn't the same hothead she'd married all those years ago. That she mattered more than my pride. I chose the latter, but walking away felt like a kick in the gut.

"I'm sorry about that," she whispered, linking her hand with mine. "I don't know what got in to him."

"Isn't it obvious? He wanted you, and now he knows he's lost his chance."

"That's ridiculous," she said, swiping the card to gain access to the track. "Mike and I are just friends."

"Honey, you're a beautiful woman. Men are going to be interested in you, especially if they think you're available."

She started to stretch but not before wiggling her fingers in my face. "I'd say this huge rock makes it pretty obvious that I'm not available, Ryker."

I couldn't help but smile. Even though the run-in with Mike set me on edge, seeing those rings back on Mac's finger where they belonged put everything in perspective. Having her back in my life was the only that mattered.

"You ready to hit it?" I asked after stretching.

The gym wasn't very busy and there weren't more than half a dozen people on the track, which meant we could run side by side, using two of the three lanes.

"Sure."

I kept my pace easy in deference to her much shorter legs, but she outpaced me in no time, laughing as she jogged ahead. Looking at me over her shoulder, she said, only slightly out of breath, "Come on now, Steele. Is that all you've got?"

I grinned. "You go on ahead. I'm liking the view back here."

She rolled her eyes, muttering, "Pig" before she took off.

# Chapter Eleven

Mackenzie

I'd intended to head home after our workout, but Ryker convinced me to come back to his place for a drink after we called to check on the kids and they assured us they were busy studying.

"So, what'll it be?" he asked, bending over to look in his fridge. "I've got wine, beer, milk, water, juice, Coke, and..." His head popped up, and he caught me ogling his butt. "Were you checking out my ass?"

He couldn't blame me. He'd showered at the gym and put those faded jeans back on. The ones that were worn enough to hug him just right, riding low on his hips when coupled with that heavy leather belt he favored. "Don't flatter yourself. I was just looking to see what you had in the fridge." I walked over, pushing him aside. "This, by the way, is just sad," I said, gesturing to the contents of his fridge. "I don't see a fruit or vegetable in here. I thought I taught you better than that."

"That's not true," he said, pointing at a bag of apples behind some condiments. "Look, apples."

I picked them up and looked at him. They appeared to be withered. "I'm not even going to ask how long they've been in there," I said, pulling open the cupboard that housed the garbage can. I tossed them in and shuddered dramatically. "Yuck."

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around my waist and set his chin on my shoulder. "See, that's just another reason I need you. I'm a mess on my own."

It felt good to hear him say he needed me. Aside from the meager contents of his fridge, his house looked clean and tidy, not at all like a bachelor pad. "You must have found a good cleaning lady," I said, grabbing two bottles of water and passing one to him. At his quizzical expression, I said, "We just burned all those calories. No sense letting all that hard work go to waste."

"Didn't Martha tell you she's been coming by once a week?"

"My Martha?" I asked, stunned.

Martha had been helping me since the boys were babies. She cleaned both the house and cottage and watered our plants when we were out of town. She would even dogsit for our precious Lyla when we were away.

"Yeah." Ryker led me into the family room. "I take it she didn't tell you?"

"No." I sank onto the sofa beside him, immediately cuddling up to him when he put his arm around me. "I can't believe she didn't say anything."

"She probably wasn't sure how you'd feel about it and didn't want you to think she was taking sides. You know Martha. She was worried about me when she'd heard I moved out, so when she called to ask if there was anything she could do for me, I asked if she could help out around here once a week. No big deal."

I was secretly glad Martha had been taking care of Ryker in my absence. I knew how much he missed his mom, and while he was close with mine, it would have been awkward for him to call her up and ask her for help. "Maybe you should think about asking Martha to shop for you too."

"Na, I don't eat at home all that much anyhow."

"Oh." I sat up and looked at him. "You eat out a lot?" He'd only been on one date that I knew of, but now he had me curious. "Who do you go out with?"

He shrugged. "Depends, usually my brothers or the guys from work."

"Usually?"

He laughed before poking me in the ribs. "If you're asking me whether I take other women out, the answer is no."

Satisfied, I settled back in his arms.

"I had fun with you tonight."

I smiled, linking my hands with his. "You had fun jogging around the track? You sure have a strange idea of fun." I was teasing him, but I'd enjoyed every moment we spent together.

"Just being with you is enough, Mac." He kissed my neck, setting off a firestorm of sparks, even though it had been little more than the scraping of his stubble against my skin.

"Hmmm." I didn't even realize I'd reacted until I curled my arm around his neck and brought his head closer.

"You like that?" he asked, flicking his tongue over my throbbing pulse. "More?"

God, I couldn't get enough of him. It seemed like forever since we'd last made love and even though we'd agreed to take it slow, I didn't know if I could keep that promise.

I tipped my head back, inviting his kiss. It quickly turned heated, and before I knew it, we were tearing at each other's clothes.

"Mac, wait," he said, grabbing my shoulders. "God, you know how much I want you. But I don't want you to have any regrets. Are you sure you're ready for this?"

I framed his gorgeous face with my hands, admiring the dark sweep of long lashes against his tanned cheek. "Do you realize you said the exact same thing to me almost twenty years ago?" I loved that he'd been looking out for me then and was still looking out for me now.

"Old habits die hard, I guess." He groaned when I crawled into his lap, pressing my bottom against his erection.

"I want you," I whispered, feeling the shudder rip through him as my hand moved over his chest to his hard abs. "I need you, Ryker." I'd always needed him, but for long, agonizing months, I'd convinced myself he didn't need me anymore. That hurt--my ego, my pride, but mostly my heart.

He grabbed me around the waist, making sure my legs were securely fastened around him before he carried me to his bedroom. His tongue sparred with mine, both of us feeling desperate and greedy.

Like throwing a match on gas, the spark had been quick to ignite and every swipe of his tongue stoked it, making it burn brighter and hotter, more intense, until I could barely breathe.

He tossed me down on the bed, his bright blue eyes eating me up, inch by inch. We'd left the lights on, something I never would have been able to do twenty-five pounds ago, and I was grateful I would be able to watch the effect I had on him. The tent in his navy boxer briefs made it obvious, but it was the intensity burning in his eyes that had me captivated.

It reminded me of how hungry he'd been for me all those years ago when we first started dating. He wrestled with his baser instincts then, trying to be a gentleman, to take it slow because he wanted to prove he respected me, that I was different than all of the other girls he'd been with.

But I wasn't a girl anymore. I was a woman. Experienced at pleasing my man. And while it may have been a while, I hadn't forgotten what turned Ryker on.

I popped the front clasp on my fuchsia lace bra and watched him lick his lips as my breasts popped free. I ran my hands over the smooth mounds, swirling my thumbs around the taut peaks as his breath came quicker. He didn't try to get closer. With his knee propped between my open legs, he seemed content to watch me... for now.

With a lusty growl, he tore the string fastening my thong. "Touch yourself. Let me watch you."

A delicious lick of heat chased its way up my spine. This was the Ryker I remembered. Hot. Sexy. Always ready to show me a good time. I did as he asked, watching with fascination as he peeled his boxers off, proving, without a doubt, how much he wanted me.

Since he'd had a vasectomy after Cole was born, we hadn't used condoms in years, and I'd never been more grateful than I was now. I didn't want anything between us tonight.

"You've never looked more beautiful."

His words shocked and delighted me. He'd seen me with a twenty-year-old's body before I'd had his babies. The fact he thought I was still beautiful, even more beautiful than I'd been then, made me feel alive again, like the best years of my life were ahead of me, not behind me, as I'd feared when he left.

"Show me how much you want this," he murmured, his voice deep and husky. "I want to see how much you want me."

I let my legs fall open unabashedly, giving him what he wanted. It was obvious how turned on I was from the cadence of my hand to the muskiness hovering in the air to the rapid rise and fall of my chest as I fought for breath.

He pushed my hands away when I was on the verge of free falling, and I couldn't stifle the whimper of frustration that slipped past my lips.

"If you're coming apart tonight, I want to know I'm the reason. I need to know you still need me as much as I need you."

He had no idea how much I needed him. I had no idea how much I still needed him, until tonight. When everything became crystal clear. This man was so much more than my husband and the father of my children. He was the only man I'd ever loved. My best friend. My soul mate. The man who makes me stronger, more independent, braver, and just... happier.

It felt like Ryker's tongue was on fire as he licked me, blowing on me intermittently to cool the blaze before the flash of arousal at his probing set me up again. My hands were above my head as I gave myself over to him completely. I didn't feel the need to direct or control his actions because this was Ryker, and no one knew how to please a woman better than he did.

My legs were trembling, but his firm hands on the insides of my thighs gave me nowhere to go, nowhere to hide as he feasted on me like he'd been waiting for this moment forever. Or maybe it just seemed like forever. I know it did for me. Every day without him in our bed felt longer than the last.

I moaned softly with every brush of his tongue, trying to rotate my hips and feeling the frustration build as he pinned me to the mattress. I knew he was trying to draw it out, to prolong the pleasure and build the intensity, but I didn't know how much more I could take.

Finally, he let me go, taking me to a violent climax that had streaks of light bursting behind my closed eyes as my heart hammered in my chest. I felt the sheen of sweat on my skin as he crawled up my body like a hunter, creeping slowly, soundlessly. That's when I realized what he had in store for me; tonight would be like nothing else we'd shared. I saw the warning glint in his eyes, letting me know he intended to make up for lost time and I'd forfeited my right to object with that orgasm.

His hands closed around my wrists, pinning me to the bed. "You're mine." His eyes were darker, more dangerous than they'd ever been before. "Mine."

A streak of heat coiled through me at his possessive words. I wanted to be his. I was desperate for him to claim me all over again.

"Say it."

"I'm yours," I whispered as his hard shaft teased my entrance.

He thrust his hips forward just enough to make me whimper. I was still sensitive, yet I wanted more. "This gorgeous body is all mine."

I wasn't surprised he felt the need to reinforce his entitlement as my husband. Ryker had always been jealous and possessive, but he was never irrational. He wasn't the kind of guy to beat the hell out of someone for looking at his wife. Hitting on me, maybe. Touching me inappropriately? Definitely.

He drove into me without warning, like a man possessed, and it sent me right to the edge again. I was shifting, trying to rise to meet his powerful thrusts, but there was no doubt he was in control and had no intention of relenting. The sensual onslaught was exhilarating, reminding me what it felt like to be alive, to be so consumed by someone that they were the only thing that mattered.

I was scaling that crest again, frantic to reach it before he did. If my hands had been free, I would have helped it along, but I should have known Ryker would take matters into his own hands. He read my body the way others read minds, knowing what I needed even before I did.

Sliding his thumb through my slickness with just enough pressure, he seemed mesmerized by my reaction. "You're so goddamn sexy. I could watch you all night."

"Oh, Ryker..."

My moan, or maybe the sound of his name on my lips, a desperate plea, set him off, but the teasing subsided as he became more focused.

He reminded me of his expertise all over again when we erupted in unison, our eyes locked, while the other's name fell from our lips.

Feeling the hot gush of his arousal flood me reminded me of all the times before when we'd tried to get pregnant and prayed this would be the time. It made me wonder if he'd ever regretted his decision to have the vasectomy, especially after we separated.

His heart was beating hard and fast when he pulled me close, whispering in my ear, "I love you so much, baby."

I smiled against his damp neck, feeling happier than I had in years. "I love you too."

He finally rolled off of me, lying flat on his back with one arm covering his eyes while he caught his breath. "I must be getting old. Or maybe I'm just out of practice." When I didn't respond, he moved his arm and rolled onto his side. His face was stern when he said, "I know that look. Don't you dare tell me you regret what just happened."

"No." I smiled as I stroked his damp chest. "Not at all. It was amazing. I was just thinking about when we were trying to get pregnant with Zane."

He brushed my side-swept bangs off my forehead, frowning. "Why were you thinking about that now?"

I couldn't meet his eyes when I said this. I was too afraid of what I would find there. "I was the one who suggested you have the vasectomy after Cole was born..."

"Yeah, because we both hated condoms and I didn't want you to go back on the pill because of the side effects. So?"

"I just wondered if you've ever regretted that. Having the vasectomy, I mean."

He was silent for so long I had to steal a glance at him. "Maybe I have a time or two."

I felt the weight of his words crush me. "Oh," I said, rolling away from him.

"Hey," he said, curling up against me. "Why does that upset you?"

I swallowed, willing myself not to cry. "It makes sense. I mean, you could have met someone younger and wanted to start another family."

"What?" He rolled me over, hovering over me. "You thought I was having second thoughts because I wanted to start another family with someone else?"

I shrugged, too embarrassed to look him in the eye. "It might have crossed your mind after you moved out."

"That never crossed my mind," he said firmly as he grabbed my face and turned me toward him. "I had second thoughts about it when the boys were still young. I thought maybe we should have tried for a third child." He smirked. "A girl might have been nice."

I laughed before slapping his back lightly. "You? With a daughter? Are you kidding me? You would have been that dad cleaning his gun on the front porch every time a guy came to pick his little girl up for a date."

He chuckled. "You're probably right about that." Lying down and pulling me close, his leg covered mine, making me feel safe and protected. "No, I think things worked out the way they were supposed to. Having the boys when we were young, only a year separating them, means we'll be able to do all the things we always talked about doing when they go off to college."

I loved that Ryker was thinking about our future. I was too. But I didn't want to make the mistake of rushing a reconciliation before we were ready.

# Chapter Twelve

Ryker

I felt her whole body tense when I mentioned the future, which pissed me off after what we just shared. I was ready to move back into our home, share our bed, and be her husband in every way. As far as I was concerned, we'd already wasted six months. I didn't want to waste another minute living apart when all I wanted was for us to be together.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to mask my annoyance.

"Nothing." She turned her head, smiling. "I just want to stick to the plan, take things slow."

"I think we passed slow half an hour ago."

"You're upset," she said, rolling to her back.

"Hell yeah, I'm upset." I was really trying to rein in my temper, but when everything I wanted was staring up at me with those big blue eyes, intent on taking it all away, it wasn't easy to play it cool. "What we just shared meant something to me. I thought it meant something to you too."

"It did. How can you think it didn't?"

I closed my eyes on a deep breath, warning myself not to say or do something I might regret. "I just don't understand what more you want from me. I've been everything I thought you wanted. I've been attentive, supportive, made an effort to spend more time with you--"

"I didn't realize spending time with me was such an effort," she said, sitting up as she clutched the taupe duvet around her.

"That's not what I meant. I love spending time with you, but come on, give me a break. You know this stuff isn't easy for me, Mac. I don't go for that mushy romantic shit. I'm a..." I could tell by the poison spewing from her eyes, I was only making this worse, so I decided to shut my mouth while I was still ahead. At least I hoped I was still ahead. I didn't know anymore.

"Don't stop now," she said, jumping out of bed like it was on fire. "You're a what? A guy, Ryker?" My guilty expression must have given her a hint that she'd nailed it. "So all this was just an act to get me back? Then what? Things go back to the way they were? You ignoring me and taking me for granted?"

I growled in frustration. "No! What the hell, Mac?"

"That's what I want to know," she said, slipping her arms into her bra and refastening it. She looked at her torn panties in disgust before tossing them in a wastebasket by the bed. "What the hell was all this? I thought you'd changed. But you're still the same selfish--"

"Don't," I warned, jumping up and grabbing her arms. I was kneeling on the bed, holding her prisoner in front of me. She might think she had me all figured out, but she was dead wrong. "Losing you did change me. It damn near destroyed me. And here I thought what happened between us tonight meant I had you back. Now you're telling me you're just messin' with me?"

She shoved me hard, breaking free. "Messing with you? That's what you think this is? Just go to hell, Ryker!"

She ran down the hall in search of her dress while I grabbed my robe from the back of my door, intent on chasing after her. I'd follow her all the way outside if I had to, and I didn't want the neighbors calling the cops and accusing me of indecent exposure.

"You're not leaving until we sort this out," I said, standing in front of the oak entrance door. I knew I was being ridiculous. I couldn't hold her here against her will, but I was feeling desperate. I knew if she left, the chances of her coming back to me were slim.

I watched her slip her dress over her head, grab her purse, and slip her feet into her sandals before reaching into her purse for her car keys. "Get out of my way. Now!"

I was so screwed. If I let her go, I'd lost her. If I didn't let her go, I'd lost her. "Please, Mac," I said, reaching for her hand. "Let's just talk this out, figure out where we go from here."

"I know where we go from here." She slipped her wedding rings off, and I felt like I was going to throw up. "It's over, Ryker. Thinking we could work things out was a huge mistake."

"Are you insane?" I held my hands palms up when she tried to give me the rings. "You can't do this!"

"Yes, I can." She sighed, looking suddenly tired and defeated. "This was a mistake. We had a cordial relationship before. We were doing a good job co-parenting our kids. Now we just made everything worse. We're angry and hostile and--"

"We had a fight," I said, trying to wrap my hand around her wrist, but she pulled back. "It happens, Mackenzie. Even happy couples fight. We'll talk. We'll figure out--"

"You don't get it, do you?" she asked, spreading her hands. "I still love you." A tear glided down her cheek, followed by another. "You were my first love, my only love, the father of my children, but you scare the hell out of me, Ryker."

"I scare you?" Ouch. Another punch in the gut. I knew I could be intimidating, menacing even, but I'd never laid my hands on her in anger.

"What I feel for you scares me. It was so easy for me to fall back into your arms and pretend everything was fine, because more than anything, I wanted it to be. I wanted to believe you'd changed, that I'd changed, and we were somehow better for each other now. That we wouldn't have the same problems we had before, but what you said tonight opened my eyes. Things haven't changed. They'll never change. You are who you are. I am who I am. And we're just... not right for each other anymore."

"How can you say that?" I whispered, fighting back my own tears. I was losing the only woman who'd ever given my life meaning, and this time, unlike the first time, it felt permanent. "The way we make each other feel, Mac. That is so right. Nothing has ever felt more right."

"Yeah, sure, the sex is great. I'll give you that. But there has to be more to a relationship than that. You basically just admitted that you'd been spending time with me, being supportive, and taking an interest in the things that interested me because you were trying to get me back."

Had I said that? Probably in my rage-induced stupor I had. Where the hell was the rewind button when I needed it? "Fine, I shouldn't have said that, okay? I was angry. I thought I'd be going home with you tonight, that we'd be able to tell our kids their family was back together again, and then you gave me this shit about taking it slow. We weren't taking it slow in that bed an hour ago." Just when I thought I couldn't spew anymore stupidity, I surprised even myself.

She set her rings down on the console table. "This isn't getting us anywhere. Get out of my way, Ryker."

There were a million things I wanted to say and do. I'd never begged anyone for anything in my life, but if I thought dropping to my knees and pleading for one more chance with her would help my cause, I would. But I knew that look. She'd made up her mind and nothing I could say would change it. That didn't mean I was giving up on her. I would never give up on her, but I would give her time to cool off before we talked again.

I opened the door and stood back for her to pass through. When she walked past me and I caught a whiff of her perfume, I wanted to haul her against my chest and beg her not to end our marriage like this. But by the time I found my voice, she was running to her car like there was a mass murderer on her heels.

Or maybe it was me she was running from, the man who'd broken her heart. Again.

When my cell phone rang as she peeled out of the drive, I lunged for the jeans I'd abandoned by the sofa, praying she had something left to say, something to give me hope.

But the call display said Daniel Anderson. I didn't want to deal with my former neighbor tonight, but I knew he wouldn't be calling me at this hour if it weren't important. "Hey, Dan. What's up?"

"I'm sorry to call so late, Ryker. But we've got problems. I would have called Mackenzie, but this is kind of a delicate situation, so I thought I should talk to you about it."

I didn't like the sound of that. I sank down on the couch, dropping my head into my hands as I asked, "What's going on?"

"Well, Nancy and I went out for dinner tonight. Matthew was out with a friend and we left Brit at home, studying for exams."

"Uh-huh." I had an idea where this was going and I definitely was not going to like it. Neither was Mac.

"We came home to find Zane in her room."

"Shit."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

I'd had the talk with my son about protected sex and he assured me when the time was right, he'd be smart about it, but I had no idea he and Brittany were that serious.

"Were they...?"

"I think we got here just in time."

"Dodged a bullet this time, huh?"

"You said it."

I didn't know why I was getting so freaked out about this. I'd been sexually active at his age, but I'd been more mature. Without a real father figure, I had to basically raise myself and my brothers the best way I knew how while my mother worked to keep a roof over our heads. Zane had lived a sheltered life by comparison. I didn't think he was ready for a serious relationship and the thought of him having a casual sexual relationship with our neighbor's daughter was even worse.

"I'm sorry about this, Dan. I don't know what to say. I thought Zane talked to me about stuff like this."

"Yeah, well you're not the only one who was blindsided. See, Brittany kind of already has a boyfriend."

"What?" This was going from bad to worse.

"Yeah, she's been seeing him for about four months. He doesn't go to her school. She met him at the mall. You know she got a job at a jewelry store there, right?"

I didn't know or care where the girl worked. "Uh, no, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, well. He seems like a nice kid. We thought he'd be good for Brit. She can be a bit of a wild child." He chuckled, and I could just imagine the poor bastard wiping sweat from his bald head. "If I could, I'd lock her in her room until she's twenty-five, but her mother won't let me do that."

"It'd be nice if we could do that, wouldn't it? Keep our kids safe."

I appreciated that Dan wasn't coming after me, blaming Zane for trying to corrupt his baby girl. After what just went down with Mac, I probably would have gone postal on the poor guy.

"Listen, I'm really sorry about this, Dan. Needless to say, I'll talk to Zane about it."

"Your son is a good kid, Ryker. We know this isn't his fault entirely, but we don't want to see the kids get in over their heads. They're too young for this."

I happened to agree with Dan, but I knew there was nothing we could do to keep them apart if they were determined to be together. "Thanks for the heads-up. Let's try to keep the lines of communication open. I'll ask Zane not to go to your place while you guys are out if you think that'd help."

"It's worth a try," Dan said, sounding as defeated as I felt. "Thanks, Ryker. I'll talk to you later."

I disconnected the call and thought about calling my son to give him a piece of my mind, but I knew my kid was almost as headstrong as I was. If I tried to tell him not to do something, it would only make him want to do it more.

I'd text him tomorrow and ask him to meet me after school so we could talk. He'd no doubt have his story all ready, claiming it wasn't his fault or he'd never done anything like that before or they just got caught up in the moment. All of which may be true, but I knew Mac would go ballistic when she found out.

Her worst fear for the boys had always been an unwanted pregnancy screwing up their plans for the future, and while I didn't think they were stupid enough to have sex without protection, accidents happened every day.

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I knew two things for sure. I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight. And tomorrow was going to be a miserable day.

***

I'd texted Zane and told him to wait for me after school, that we needed to talk. He agreed without asking me the reason, so I knew Brittany had probably already told him that her dad called me.

When he jumped into my truck, I shot a sidelong glance in his direction when he slumped down guiltily in his seat, looking sullen. "How'd the exam go?" I didn't want to start in on him right away. I knew if I did, this conversation could only go downhill.

"Okay, I think."

"Good." I turned out of the parking lot, pointing at a deli down the street. "You hungry? We could grab a sandwich or something."

"No, I'm okay."

I could tell by the teenagers crowding around the strip plaza he was probably worried about running into his friends and having them overhear our conversation. I couldn't blame him. I remembered what it felt like to be his age.

"So, I guess you know by now that Mr. Anderson called me last night."

His face turned red and he looked out the window, slumping farther as he shifted his body away from me. "We didn't know they were gonna be home so early."

"Evidently." I waited, hoping he would open up to me. When he didn't, I said, "How long have you been seeing Brittany?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. A while."

I debated about telling him that Brittany had a boyfriend. I didn't want to see my son get played by any girl, but I knew we had a bigger issue to deal with first. If he wasn't hooking up with her, it would be some other girl.

"Look, Zane, I remember what it was like to be sixteen. I'm not mad about what happened last night--"

"You're not?" he asked, looking shocked. "I thought you were gonna lay into me."

"I'm not going to lay into you," I said tentatively. I pulled into the parking lot of my factory and cut the engine before turning to face my son. "I'm just concerned. I don't want to see you make a mistake you might regret."

"Dad, we already had this talk," he said, his cheeks turning ruddy as he focused on the man collecting the garbage across the street. "I'm not stupid. I know I have to use condoms." Looking suddenly alarmed, he asked, "You haven't told Mom about this, have you? 'Cause she was in a really pissy mood this morning and I thought maybe it was because--"

"I haven't told her," I said, raising my hand. Though I knew I was probably the reason for her bad mood. She was certainly the reason for mine. "But that doesn't mean I'm not going to."

"Dad, come on. When you were my age, would you have wanted your mom to know you were hookin' up with some chick?"

He had a point. But I hated keeping anything from Mac, especially now, when it seemed like we were on the outs again. "I want to know where things stand with Brit before I decide anything. Was this a random thing or have you guys hooked up before?"

"We've never, uh..." He shrugged. "You know, gone all the way, but we've messed around some."

"Look, I don't know if Brit's a virgin--"

"She is!" Zane's vehemence told me he had real feelings for this girl and would likely get his heart broken if he learned he wasn't the only guy in her life.

"Listen," I said, sighing. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna say it. She has a boyfriend, Zane."

"What?" He sat up straighter, his fists clenching on his knees. "What're you talking about?"

"Her dad told me she's been seeing some guy for the past four months. Apparently, he doesn't go to your school. She met him at the mall, where she works."

"That lying little bitch!"

I could understand his anger, but I didn't want to encourage him to disrespect girls. "Did she ever tell you that you were the only one she was seeing?"

"Well, no but--"

"So you just assumed?"

"If her parents hadn't come home when they did, we would have..." His blue eyes flashed with anger. "I can't believe she's been playing me!"

My son's first hard lesson in dealing with the opposite sex, one he would undoubtedly remember for a long time. "Here's the thing, Zane," I said, trying to reframe it in a way that wouldn't make him feel like he'd been had. "You guys are way too young to be getting serious. She should date other people, and so should you."

"Mom said she only dated one other guy before she hooked up with you."

He had me there. "If I'd been a better man," I said, smirking, "I would have given her more time to explore, weigh her options."

"Why didn't you?"

"The truth?" Zane nodded and then I continued. "I was afraid she'd find someone better and I'd lose her. I was pretty insecure back then. I'd never dated anyone like your mom before, and I was constantly questioning whether I was good enough for her." It still pained me to admit how long it had taken for me to accept the fact that she really loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

"I've wondered about that with Brit too," he admitted. "She's a cheerleader, ya know? She could have any guy she wants."

Zane didn't have the same issues I did at his age. He didn't have a chip on his shoulder or a bad attitude. He didn't get into trouble at school or leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake. He was a good kid, and he had every reason to believe that any girl would want him.

"I know it's easy to get caught up in that surface stuff at your age," I said, removing my seat belt and shifting in my seat to face him. "But when you get a little older, you'll realize it's what's inside that counts." I chuckled when he rolled his eyes. Leaning over to mess his hair, which I knew he hated, I said, "You don't have to believe me. But you'll get what I mean soon enough. The most important thing is to find a girl that you connect with and believe you can trust, but just remember you're just starting out. You have years to find the right girl, and you should take your time figuring all that out."

"I will, Dad." He hesitated. "Thanks for not freakin' out and tellin' Mom about what happened last night."

Zane's trust was important to me. I wanted him to feel he could talk to me about anything, even when it was awkward or embarrassing, so I decided to keep this under wraps for now. Telling Mac would only put her on high alert and cause tension between her and Zane.

"Just promise me something?"

"What?" he asked, looking wary.

"When the time comes, you'll make sure you're doing it for the right reasons, with the right girl, and you'll use protection."

He nodded. "I promise."

"Good." I hooked a thumb at the vintage muscle car beside me. "Looks like your Uncle Nex is still here. You wanna come in and say hi? I have to grab my laptop and then I can drop you off at home."

"Yeah, I just want to make a call first."

I knew he was probably calling Brittany to have it out with her about the secret boyfriend. Whether it happened now or later was irrelevant. I knew it would happen. "Sure, just come on up when you're done."

I would give him some time and privacy to deal with this. Hopefully after he talked to her, he would have some resolution, maybe even realize she wasn't the right girl for him after all.

I punched in my security code to open the front door leading to the upper level offices. Most of my employees were still here since first shift didn't end for another hour.

"There he is!" Nex called out when I passed by his office. "Ronnie was lookin' for you."

Ronnie was our production manager. In other words, the guy who helped me maintain my sanity. "You know what he wanted?" I asked, pausing in the doorway.

"Yeah, the painter wanted to know which shade of purple you wanted for that doctor's bike. I had it on file, so I gave him the info." He frowned. "You okay, bro? You don't look so hot."

I could always rely on my kid brother to give it to me straight. Even when I wished he'd sugar coat it every once in a while. I slammed his door before sinking into his guest chair and propping my boots up on his desk. "Where do I begin?"

Nex laced his hands behind his head and kicked his boots up on the opposite side of the desk. "At the beginning. I got nowhere else to be."

I didn't bother reminding him I paid him seven figures to be my V.P. Right now I needed to bend his ear more than I needed his business acumen. "Mac and I..." I thought of my talk with Zane. No way would I disrespect Mac by saying we'd hooked up. It was so much more than that.

"You what?" A cocky grin slipped over Nex's face. "Ah, say no more. Congrats. So, why do you look like somebody pissed in your cornflakes?"

"We got into a fight after." I'd had a lot of time to think about it, while I was channel surfing instead of sleeping, and realized I'd overreacted. I put too much pressure on her instead of just being easy about it and letting things evolve naturally.

"Ah, man," Nex said. "How could you be so stupid? It took you six months to get her back into bed, and when you finally do, you screw it up by arguing with her?"

"I know I'm an idiot," I said, sighing. "What I don't know is what I should do about it."

Nex laughed. "You're asking the wrong guy. I'm usually trying to get rid of them, not figure out how to keep 'em."

Sad, but true. My brother was pushing thirty, but I was beginning to think he'd never want to settle down. "You're no help," I muttered.

"When was the last time you sent her flowers?"

I rolled my eyes. "Flowers, Nex? Seriously? How original."

"Women dig shit like that. Makes 'em feel special."

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to fix this with flowers."

"Okay," Nex said, looking smug as he folded his arms over his chest. "What's your bright idea?"

"I don't have any ideas yet."

"By the time you come up with one, she'll be serving you with divorce papers."

"Shut the hell up, asshole. Don't say shit like that." Even though Mac had left her wedding rings behind, I still refused to believe it was over. Maybe I was deluding myself, but hope was the only thing I had left.

"It's a start," Nex said, his tone softening. "Send her flowers with a card saying you're sorry about last night. I'm not saying it won't take a hell of a lot more than that to fix whatever the hell you did, but it might get you a foot in the door."

I supposed he was right. It couldn't hurt to try. "Okay, thanks."

"Hey, I'm meeting up with our lame-ass brothers at the bar tonight. You wanna come for a drink? We haven't gotten together in a while."

"When you say the bar..."

Nex grinned. "Yeah, the one your favorite bartender works at."

I guessed I could kill two birds with one stone: reconnect with my brothers and tell Natalie I wasn't interested. Apparently, ignoring a dozen texts and half a dozen voice mail messages wasn't clear enough.

"What time?"

"Around nine?"

"Cool. See you then."

I was back in my office when I heard Zane talking to his uncle Nex about the car our brother was restoring. My brother Sebastian was a master at classic car restoration, attracting clients from around the globe. It reminded me that I should call and ask him if he could fit me into his schedule. I had a little surprise for my son if all went according to plan and he managed to stay out of trouble.

"Hey, Dad." I looked up when Zane tapped his knuckles on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure. I was just packing up," I said, grabbing my leather case from under the desk and shoving my laptop inside. "You reached your... friend?"

"Uh, yeah." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans. "I don't think I'll be seein' Brit again, so you don't have to worry."

Since they lived across the street from each other, the odds were in favor of them seeing each other sooner rather than later. "So, she filled you in on the boyfriend I take it?"

Zane shook his head. "Can you believe she played me like that? I thought I knew her."

I knew this wasn't the time to lecture him about being cautious with his trust. He'd already learned that lesson the hard way. "At least you found out before it was too late, right?"

"Uh yeah, sure."

"Let's get out of here."

"You wanna grab a burger or somethin' on the way home?" Zane asked.

I put him in a headlock on the way out of my office, grinning when he broke the hold effortlessly thanks to all that expensive martial arts training. "Since when do I turn down the chance to spend more time with my kid?"

# Chapter Thirteen

Mackenzie

Even though I wasn't in the mood to go out, Molly talked me into it, reminding me of the alternative: sitting home and feeling sorry for myself.

I felt terrible about the way I'd left things with Ryker. Even if we couldn't be together, we still had to find a way to be cordial to each other for the sake of our kids, and after the way I'd stormed out on him last night, I wasn't sure that was going to be possible.

"Why'd we come here?" I asked, wrinkling my nose at the sight of motorcycles lined up in front of the old building. "It looks like a biker bar."

"And you like bikers," she said, giving me a hip check. "Imagine that."

"If you're thinking about setting me up with another loser, don't. I'm not interested."

"You're just too picky," she grumbled.

Maybe she was right. After twenty years with Ryker, it was hard to settle for just any man.

"How'd you even know about this place?" I asked, looking up at the sign. Downlow. At least that's what I assumed it would have said if N and W had been lit up. "It seems like a seedy part of town for you."

"I go wherever the hot men are. You should know that by now," Molly said, laughing. "Seriously, a date took me here a couple of weeks ago."

"He took you to a classy place like this? Must have been a friend of Kyle's."

"Oh, shut up," she said, linking her arm through mine. Hauling me through the door, she said, "We're going to have fun tonight..." Her gaze travelled to the bar. "Or not."

Ryker was cozying up to a trashy blond bartender while his brothers commandeered a table near the pool tables. Great.

"I'm sorry," Molly whispered in my ear. "I didn't think he'd be here. I just wanted you to get a look at the chick he went out with."

I stepped into Molly's path, my back to the bar. "That's the girl Ryker went on a date with?"

"Yeah." Molly bit her lip. "She looks just like the kind of girls he used to date before he met you, don't you think?"

Exactly. He may claim that he'd grown up, that marriage and family had changed him, but his taste in women hadn't changed that much. This one looked like she was about ten or fifteen years younger than him with bleached-blond hair, Daisy Dukes, and a cut-off T-shirt showing off her obvious assets.

The last six months of working hard in the gym faded in light of the truth. Nothing was going to turn back time. I was middle-aged and would never look like that in a pair of jean shorts again. "Let's get out of here. I really don't need this tonight."

"Too late," Molly whispered. "Here comes Nex."

"Damn it." I'd maintained my friendship with Nex since we worked out at the same gym, but I was not in the mood for his dry sense of humor tonight. "I don't want to--"

"Hey, gorgeous," Nex said, wrapping his arm around my waist. "How 'bout a kiss for your favorite brother-in-law?"

I had five brothers-in-law and the only one who'd ever claimed Nex was my favorite was Nex.

"Hey," I said, kissing him on the cheek. "What the hell have you been drinking?" I asked, waving my hand in front of my face. "You better not be driving tonight."

Since their mama died and Nex was ten years younger than me, I'd always looked out for him like a big sister. He'd been only ten when I met Ryker, and I'd watched him grow up from a little tyrant to a lady killer, seemingly overnight.

If there was one thing the Steele brothers were not lacking, it was charm.

"You know I don't drink and drive, sweetness. We're takin' a cab."

"Good." Except that meant Ryker planned to get loaded too. No telling what might happen, or who he might take home, after a few shots of Jack Daniels.

"Has Ryker seen you yet?" Nex asked, releasing me to give Molly a peck on the cheek.

"No, he's been too busy to notice," I muttered. God, I sounded like a jealous old hag. "We were thinking about getting out of here. I have--"

"No!" Nex grabbed my hand. "You can't go yet. Hey, Ryk, look who's here!"

Not only did Ryker turn to look, so did every guy in the bar. And since most were bikers, that was not the kind of attention I wanted to attract... anymore. The thrill of a bad boy may have been fun when I was twenty, but after living with my very own hell-raiser for half my life, I was thinking it might be time for a whole new outlook.

Ryker's blue eyes narrowed as his heavy boots ate up the steps between us. His leather boots crunched the peanut shells strewn all over the floor. The only thing that took his attention from me on the short trek was shooting dirty looks at all the guys sizing me up.

I knew it was a mistake to ask Molly to help me pick out an outfit. A low-cut black tank top, thigh-high skirt, and high-heeled sandals was an outfit for a girl, not a woman with two teenagers at home.

"Uh, hi," I said when he finally stopped in front of me.

His eyes travelled over me, narrowing when they landed on the expanse of bare leg. The skirt hadn't seemed so short at home, but now I had the urge to pull it down to make sure it was covering my butt.

"She looks great, doesn't she, Ryk?" Nex asked, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Nex, why don't you go and buy our friend Molly a drink while I have a word with my wife?"

The way he said it, as though I was his property, made me want to throw the word estranged in there just to piss him off, but I knew when Ryker got that look in his eye, it was best not to fan the flames.

When Nex guided Molly to the bar, Ryker grabbed my hand, leading me down a dark hallway that presumably led to a set of restrooms. Or a dungeon. Maybe a cell. With this hole, nothing would surprise me.

"What the hell are you doing in a place like this dressed like that?" he asked, gesturing to my outfit. "Do you know what kind of guys hang out here? What they're after?"

"You're here," I said, poking him in the chest. "Is that what you're after?"

"Would I be wearing this if I were?" he asked, flashing his wedding band.

"I'm guessing your little girlfriend doesn't care whether you're wearing one of those or not. She seems happy to take you any way she can get you." God, now he knew I was jealous.

"I was just asking her to stop calling and texting me because I wasn't interested," he said between clenched teeth.

"Is that so?" I'd never had reason to question Ryker's fidelity before, and I didn't now, which was strange, since I had no right to expect it after our blowup last night.

"Yeah." His hand landed on my hip, bringing me closer when a rough-looking biker with a full sleeve of tattoos passed us on his way to the restroom.

"Hey, Ryk," he said, looking at us over his shoulder. "This your old lady?"

"Yeah."

"Sweet piece of ass," he said, grinning to reveal several missing teeth.

"Get lost, Tiny," Ryker said, not even sparing him a glance. "Or I'll knock your last tooth out."

He chuckled as he pushed through the swinging door at the end of the hall.

Even after so many years, it still surprised me that Ryker commanded respect from the kind of men who would make most run for cover. Granted, he was still rough around the edges--a biker at heart, he claimed--but those edges were a lot softer than they used to be, thanks to his role as a father, he said. And I believed him. Our boys were the center of his world, which made it difficult for me to stay mad at him.

"About last night," he said, pinning me against the wall with his muscular body. "I'm sorry if I pushed too hard." He flattened one hand on the wall behind my head. "But damn, baby, you gotta understand where I'm coming from. I wanna be back in our bed so much it hurts."

"I know." I hooked my thumbs through the belt loops of his black jeans, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry too. I overreacted." After leaving his place, I had spent most of the night replaying our conversation and feeling guilty for the way we left things. It was obvious Ryker was still feeling insecure about our relationship, and I should be trying to make him feel better about us, not worse.

"I just want us back," he said, sinking his hands into my hair. "The way we used to be."

"You have to know I want that too." Actually, I wanted us to be better than we used to be, but I wasn't going to argue semantics now. "It's just going to take some time. It took two years the first time for us to decide we wanted to spend our lives together. Is it unreasonable to think it'll take a couple of months before we're ready to recommit to spending our lives together?"

He grunted. "It may have taken you two years. It took me all of two minutes to know I wanted you for the rest of my life."

"I love you, Ryker," I whispered, slipping my hands inside his leather jacket to circle his trim waist.

"If you love me so much, prove it." He glanced at a small zippered pocket covering his heart. "Put those back on for me."

I gasped when I reached into his pocket and found my wedding rings. "Are you crazy?" I whispered, slipping them back on. "You shouldn't be carrying these around with you. What if you lost them?"

"Never gonna happen." He curled his hand around the back of my neck, bringing me in for a toe-curling kiss. "Besides, I was gonna stop by your place when I left here tonight to plead my case. I was hoping after we kissed and made up, I could talk you into wearing them again."

"You were gonna show up on my doorstep drunk?" I asked, propping a fist on my hip. "Begging me to take you back?"

He chuckled, running a finger down my cheek to the line of my jaw before following the contour of my throat to my cleavage. "I wasn't gonna show up drunk, sweetheart."

"But Nex said you were all planning to take cabs tonight, and I can taste the Jack Daniels on you already."

He laughed, propping the heel of his boot on the wall as he wrapped his arm around my waist and brought me closer. "Mmm, you wanna another taste?" he asked, licking his lips with a wicked gleam in his eye.

Tiny came out of the washroom, saving me from a response.

"Just keep walkin', Tiny," Ryker growled, never taking his eyes off me.

I turned just in time to see Tiny checking out my ass. The pig. Though I guess it was my own fault for wearing such a short skirt in a biker bar.

"Ya can't blame a guy for lookin', Ryk."

"Oh yeah?" Ryker asked, glaring at him. "She's my goddamn wife, not some broad. And if I ever see you lookin' at her like that again, I'm gonna knock you on your ass. We clear?"

"Yeah, sure," he mumbled, ducking his head as he rushed down the hall.

Since Ryker had left his club in good standing, he still associated with some of the members and had the respect of all, especially guys like Tiny, who didn't seem to be sporting any patches, indicating he wasn't a full member. According to Ryker, a guy like that was a "hang around" until he got sponsorship from a full member.

"I guess I didn't realize how much a part of this world you still are."

He'd go out the odd time for beers with friends after work when we were first married, but he never wanted me to be a part of this world. It made me wonder how long he'd been coming to this bar specifically and how long he'd known the beautiful blond bartender who clearly had my husband in her sights.

"They're still my brothers. You know getting out wasn't easy for me. If not for my relationship with Buff," he said, referring to the former president of the chapter, who had been like an older brother to him, "I probably would've walked away a marked man."

I shuddered to think what that would have meant. He had sheltered me from his world when we first met, but I knew enough to know that few men left with the respect of their brothers. Most left in body bags after announcing their intent to leave.

It just reminded me how much he'd given up for me. "You've been coming here a long time?" I asked, unable to let it go without finding out whether he'd known the bartender a long time.

"Yeah, why?"

I was almost embarrassed to ask, but this man had seen me at my worst already. If he still loved me after all we'd been through, I was confident nothing I could say or do now would change how he felt. "Um, that bartender..."

"Natalie?"

"Is that her name?"

"Yeah. What about her?"

"Have you known her a long time?" I bit the inside of my cheek, barely resisting the urge to punch him in the stomach when a cocky smile spread across his handsome face.

"No, she just started here a couple of months ago. Why?"

I shrugged, though I knew pretending to be unaffected was pointless now. "I was just wondering if you'd known her when we were together."

"We're still together," he said, gripping my chin. "We may not be living together yet, but you're still my wife and I'm still crazy in love with you."

It was my turn to smile as I tipped my lips back for his kiss. "And you told her that?"

"Yeah, I did, as a matter of fact. Now what do you say we go back out there so you can catch up with my brothers? They've missed you, Mac."

I'd missed them too. "I'd love to. Let's go." I linked hands with him, thinking it was time to send my own message to the young lady tending bar. Ryker was most definitely off-limits.

# Chapter Fourteen

Ryker

My brothers were flirting shamelessly with Mac as always, but I was just so happy to have her back in the fold, I couldn't even get mad at them. She volunteered to sit on my lap when there weren't enough chairs to go around, and I couldn't have been more pleased with the setup.

I caught her glancing in Natalie's direction a time or two, obviously trying to send her a message about my status, but she was wasting her time. I'd already made it clear to the pretty little bartender that my sole focus was on putting my marriage back together, not starting something with her.

"Well, would you look at her?" Nex asked, tipping his chair back as he eyed a pretty blond waitress starting her shift. She'd just secured a black apron around her waist, making the short skirt she wore under it virtually invisible.

"Don't you think she's a little young for you?" Molly asked, rolling her eyes.

Molly was right. She looked like she might be college-aged, while Nex was closing in on his thirtieth birthday.

"Age is just a number," Nex said, with a mischievous grin.

"It's guys like you," Mac said, pointing at him, "that made me glad we didn't have a daughter."

Nex winked at Mac. "You know your husband was just as bad before you swept him off his feet."

My brothers laughed before raising their beer bottles in a mock salute.

I'd wipe those smug smiles off their faces, one at a time and take pleasure doing it, if Mac wasn't sitting on my lap, rubbing against me, reminding me of how incredible last night had been and how anxious I was to get her alone again.

"Could be I'm waiting for a pretty little thing like you," Nex said to Mac, "to tame me the way you tamed ol' Ryker here."

"Don't you mean whipped?" Seb asked, masking the last word with a cough as the rest of the table erupted in laughter.

I knew they must be three sheets to the wind already if they thought Seb's lame-ass jokes were funny.

Before I could respond with a cutting remark that would have put them all in their place, the object of kid brother's affection approached the table with a notepad in hand.

"Hey, y'all," she said with a sweet Southern drawl that was a sharp contrast to the four-inch heels and low-cut top. "My name's Jaci. Kelly has a sick little one at home, so she called me in to fill in for her. Hope you don't mind?"

"Mind?" Nex asked, lacing his hands behind his head as he eyed Jaci up and down as though they were the only two in the room. "I feel like I should thank her."

Mac rolled her eyes before touching Jaci's forearm. "Pay him no mind, honey. He just got out of prison. Wouldn't even remember what to do with a woman."

My brothers were roaring, leaving poor Jaci to decide for herself whether Mac was telling the truth.

"Don't you listen to her, sweetheart," Nex said to Jaci. "Not only do I know what to do with a woman, I wrote the book."

"Doesn't sound like a book I'd want to read," Jaci mumbled before plastering a smile on her face and turning to Molly. "You look like you could use a refill. What'll it be?"

"Actually, I think I'm gonna head out," Molly said, checking her watch. "I have to work tomorrow. Mac, are you gonna catch a cab home with Ryker?"

"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "Maybe I should head out too."

"Stay," I whispered in her ear before wrapping my arms around her waist.

"Okay, yeah," she said, smiling at Molly. "I'll hang out with the guys for a bit longer."

"Nice to see y'all again," Molly said, reaching into her purse for a few bills to cover her drinks.

"Your money's no good here," Seb said, curling the bills in his fist and shoving them back in her purse.

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing?" Molly asked, running her palm over the stubble on his jaw.

"No," Nex said, his eyes still trained on Jaci. "I am."

Jaci ignored him, smiling at Molly, who winked and patted her arm as she walked by. "I can tell you're a smart girl. You're not buyin' what he's sellin'."

Molly kissed Mac on the cheek, promising to call her tomorrow, before she pointed a finger at me. "And you, Mr. Steele, had better be good to this woman or you'll have to answer to me. Is that understood?"

Molly could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I knew she loved my wife and was only looking out for her. I crossed my forefinger across my heart. "You have my word."

"What do you think, Mac?" Molly asked, looking suspicious. "Can we trust him?"

Mac curled her arm around my neck and kissed my cheek. "I think so."

"If she's willing to give you another chance, I guess I am too," Molly said. "Just remember what I said."

"You know I will."

Jaci walked away after Seb ordered one more round for the table, prompting Nex to jump up and follow her like a dog in heat.

"What the hell is up with that?" my brother Kane asked, pointing at Nex.

Kane was only a few years younger than me, but his first love was his job. As the officer in charge of a SWAT team, I suspected most women had a hard time looking past his dangerous job, but he wasn't asking for relationship advice and I sure as hell wasn't offering.

"I don't think I've ever seen him chase tail like that," Kane said, chuckling.

Mac pursed her lips, trying to look stern, but she was used to the way we talked about women. It's not that we didn't love and respect women, probably more than most men, given how strong our mama had been, but sometimes we forgot we were in the company of a lady.

"He's only interested in her," Mac said, reaching for her drink, "because she's playing hard to get. You know Nex. He's like a little boy with a toy truck. He'll get bored in a few hours and move on to something else. Or in this case, someone else."

I thought about defending my brother, but unfortunately Mac had his number. It seemed he would never grow up. "You 'bout ready to get out of here?" I asked, brushing my lips against her ear.

"You can't leave now," Kane said. "I just ordered another round."

"I'm sure you boys'll have no problem takin' care of those for us. What do you say, baby? You ready?"

"Sure, I just have to run to the restroom first."

I watched her cross the bar, leaning back in my chair to make sure she made it into the restroom without being harassed by some drunk biker. I knew and trusted most of the guys here tonight, but a few faces I'd never seen before, and I wasn't taking any chances with Mac's safety.

"So you finally wore her down," Seb said, grinning. "When's she lettin' ya move back home?"

My brother may be a master under the hood of a car, but when it came to women, he was as clueless as the rest of my brothers. They all thought chasing a good time was the answer to a happy life. They still hadn't figured out that what I'd found with Mac put every one of their one-night stands to shame.

"We're takin' it slow." I was really beginning to hate that term. "But it won't be too much longer if I have my way."

"It's your goddamn house, Ryk," Seb said, rolling his eyes. "Just tell her you're movin' back in. End of story."

"Yeah," Kane said, laughing. "Like that'll work. You know Mac. She doesn't take his shit."

That's what I loved most about her, the fact that she wasn't afraid to stand up to me. "Doesn't matter how long it takes," I said, washing the lie down with my last sip of beer. "All that matters is we get there."

Mac returned, wrapping her arms around my neck from behind. "You ready to get out of here, sexy?"

She'd had a few drinks, and since Mac was a lightweight when it came to drinking, I knew she was probably feeling pretty good. I'd love nothing more than to invite her back to my place, but given her state and the stunt our son had pulled last time she'd left him alone too long to spend time with me, I was thinking I should drop her off at home first.

"Sure." I watched her make her way around the table, giving each of my brothers a hug and a kiss before promising to have them over to the house for a barbeque soon.

My brother Gabe, our firefighter and thrill seeker, held her hand before kissing it. "We're really glad you're back, Mac. We've missed you." Gabe was eight years younger than me, so he'd been a kid when Mac joined our family.

"I missed you guys too," Mac said, kissing his cheek. She glanced around the table. "Thanks for giving me a second chance, guys. I promise I won't hurt him again."

"Hey," Kane said, grabbing her free hand, "it takes two. We don't blame you. We just want to see you guys work this out. You belong together."

I couldn't agree with my brother more and seeing Mac with my brothers again just renewed my determination to fight for my family.

***

When the cab pulled into Mac's drive, she squeezed my hand. "Why don't you come in? I'll make some coffee. You've only had a couple of drinks. You could always take the bike home."

"Sure." Any excuse to spend more time with her. "Thanks, buddy," I said, handing the driver a bill to cover the fare and a generous tip.

I'd seen a family picture clipped to the cabbie's dash, and it reminded me that some people had to struggle to support their families while I'd been lucky enough to be able to support mine doing what I loved most.

"Thank you, sir," he said, his eyes widening at the sight of the large bill. "You have a good night."

"We will." After last night, I feared I may never get another chance like this with Mac. The fact that we were together at all was a miracle and not one I intended to take for granted.

When we walked into the house, the lights were still on in the family room and the TV was blaring. It was just after eleven and the boys had finished taking their exams, so I wasn't surprised to find them awake.

"I'm going to get changed," Mac whispered, gesturing to her outfit.

I chuckled, imagining Mac sneaking out of the house earlier because she didn't want our sons to see her in that sexy getup. "Go ahead," I said, kissing her cheek before letting my lips drift over her temple. "I'll say hi to the boys, then go make that coffee."

"Thanks," she said, slipping her arms around my waist. "I had fun tonight. It was so nice to see your brothers again."

"Yeah, I'm just sorry Brody wasn't there." My missing brother was a world-famous poker player who travelled the world winning millions at tournaments. "He should be back home next week. Maybe we can have that barbeque you mentioned." When I realized I just suggested a party at her house, I said, "Uh, I mean if--"

"Oh, I'd love that," she said, smiling. "The boys would love to see their uncles. It's been too long. Will you call Brody and ask the rest of the guys? Maybe next weekend?"

I was hoping to take her and the boys to our family cottage next weekend. But since it was only an hour and a half from our house, there was no reason we couldn't do both. "Why don't we just do it up at the cottage?"

She bit her lip. "We haven't been up there in ages. We'd have to have it cleaned and stock the cupboards and wash all the towels and linens and--"

I kissed her to silence her ramblings. "I'll take care of everything."

That cottage, which was really a large beachfront house, was one of my favorite places on Earth. I hadn't been there since Mac and I split because there were so many good memories. I knew I would be surrounded by them as soon as I walked in the door, and given my precarious emotional state at the time, I didn't want to risk it. But things felt different now, and it seemed like the perfect place to start over.

"If you're sure," she said, sounding hesitant. "I wouldn't mind heading up myself one day next week to take care of things myself, you know, just to put my mind at ease that everything is perfect before we have guests."

"My brothers aren't guests. They're family, and you know they wouldn't care if they had to sleep in tents as long as they had a keg of beer and a few bags of chips."

Mac wrinkled her nose as though the idea was distasteful. "I think we can do better than that." She laughed. "God, how will I survive all of that testosterone for an entire weekend?"

"I could lock you away in our room for the weekend," I whispered in her ear. "Then you wouldn't have to deal with it."

She trembled slightly before patting my chest with a breathy laugh. "You are way too tempting. Now go say hi to your boys while I get out of these clothes."

I grabbed her hand before she could get away. "You sure you don't need any help?" I asked, winking.

She giggled, reminding me how much I loved the sound of her laughter. "Behave yourself."

"Come on, now. You know you prefer it when I'm bad."

She licked her lips as her heated gaze travelled over my body. "You're so right. I do."

I groaned before adjusting the front of my jeans. "You expect me to go in there now?" I asked, hooking my thumb toward the family room.

"Don't worry. If they're watching TV, they won't even spare you a glance."

"I hope you're right," I muttered, reluctantly letting her go. The animalistic part of me considered following her into the bedroom and locking the door, but the thought of my sons sitting a few feet away quashed that idea.

At least we'd had the foresight to choose a house with the master bedroom on the main level to ensure privacy once the boys went to bed.

I glanced at my watch again. Not too early to suggest they hit the sheets, especially if I could convince them to come into work with me tomorrow to get the lay of the land.

"Hey, Dad," Zane said, looking up at me when he caught sight of me lounging in the doorway. "We heard someone come in but thought it was Mom. What're you doing here?"

"Your mom and I met up tonight, so I thought I'd see her home."

"Oh," Cole said, looking dejected. "I thought maybe you were here to stay this time."

It pained me to see my boys hoping for a reconciliation as much as I was. "Hey," I said, sitting down beside him on the sectional. "Your mom and I were just talking about heading up to the cottage next weekend. We thought we'd invite your uncles too. What do you say? You guys game?"

"Uncle Brody's home?" Cole asked, his face lighting up. He loved all of his uncles, but he'd always had an inexplicable connection with Brody.

"He will be by then," I said, crossing my arms as I leaned into the sofa. It had been a long and stressful day, and now that I was finally relaxing, I realized how tired I was. I really needed that coffee if I planned to head home soon.

I was stifling a yawn when Mac walked back into the room wearing block yoga pants and a black zippered hoodie. "You look like you could use that coffee," she said, smiling.

"I was gonna make it, baby."

"You just relax. I'll take care of it."

When she left the room, I slipped my jacket off and tossed it over a chair before toeing my boots off and kicking my feet up on the ottoman.

"Looks like you and Mom are getting along," Zane said, his lips tipping up in a half-smile. "Does that mean you'll be moving back home soon?"

I was afraid to jinx it or get their hopes up, but I heard myself say, "Nothing would make me happier than being back here with you guys, you know that. But it's really up to your mom." I didn't want to make Mac out to be the villain, the one who was keeping our family apart, but it was important for my boys to remember that I wanted to be with them, not across town in some house that would never feel like home. "I hope next weekend will get us one step closer."

I saw Zane and Cole exchange a look before my eldest handed me the remote and said, "Uh, we're pretty tired, Dad. We're gonna head up now."

"You guys got anything planned for tomorrow?" I asked before they could leave the room. "I thought you might like to kill some time at the factory with me this summer. The pay's not bad, and the hours are pretty good. You could come with me in the morning if you're not busy. I've got some meetings lined up, but I'm sure I could get your uncle to set you up."

"Sure, that'd be great," Cole said, sounding more enthusiastic than his brother looked.

"What's wrong?" I asked Zane. "You got something more important to do?" They both knew how I felt about the importance of working hard and being responsible, though I knew if they'd heard some of the stories from my youth, they'd call me a hypocrite.

"No, it's cool," Zane said. "What time you gonna pick us up?"

"Let's say eight o'clock?"

"Okay," Zane said before dragging his brother out of the room.

I heard them call goodnight to their mom before they made their way upstairs. I was channel surfing, looking for the news, when Mac walked in with a tray of coffee and homemade cookies.

"Those aren't...?" My mouth began to water at the sight of my favorite peanut butter and chocolate chunk cookies.

"They sure are," she said, grinning. "I couldn't sleep after our fight last night, so I stayed up half the night baking." She rolled her eyes. "I know I'm crazy, but baking relaxes me."

I bit into the soft cookie with an appreciative moan. I hadn't tasted these in almost a year, and now that I had, I feared I wouldn't be able to stop until I cleaned the plate. "Oh my God, these are even better than I remembered. You really oughta sell these things."

"You really think so?" she asked, laughing. "You're not just saying that? You think they're really that good?"

"Come on, you know how good they are." When Mac used to bake for the kids' school and various fundraisers, her goodies would always sell out before anyone else's. "You want to start a business, look no further." I reached for another cookie. "You could be the next Mrs. Fields with these babies."

She prepared my coffee before handing it to me. "I do love to bake," she said, considering the idea. "But I love charity work too. It makes me feel like I'm giving something back."

"So do both," I said, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

"What do you mean?"

"Sell your products, and give a percentage of every sale to your favorite charity."

"Oh my God," she said, her eyes sparkling. "Why didn't I think of that? That's perfect, Ryker!"

I was happy to see her so enthusiastic, but I knew she wouldn't be able to get it off the ground without some help. "You'll need an e-commerce site, an accountant, and it probably wouldn't hurt to work on your business plan with a professional."

"Oh." Her shoulders slumped. "I hadn't thought of all that. I guess it won't be as easy as I thought."

"Nothing worth having is ever easy, baby." I grinned, hoping she knew I was talking about her. She'd played hard to get, and it only made me want her more. "Come to the office tomorrow. I'll set you up with my accountant, I.T. guy, and business consultant. Oh, and you'll need to meet with my lawyer too. It's best to incorporate right from the start. It'll mean filing more taxes, but at least you won't have to worry if someone decides to sue you."

"Why would someone want to sue me?" she asked, looking alarmed. "I just want to sell baked goods."

I chuckled. "Honey, we live a litigious society. People will sue over a hangnail these days, and there are too many shysters willing to take their cases. It's sickening." I reached for a paper napkin when I realized I was making a pig of myself. "Your biggest concern would be the ingredients you use, but you should be able to avoid any problem by clearly stating the ingredients and possible allergens on the label."

"God, there's so much to consider," she said, tucking her legs under before crushing a throw pillow against her chest. "Maybe I should give it a little more thought. I don't want to get in over my head."

"Baby, I'm gonna tell you what you told me when I was thinking about starting my business. Life is all about managing risk, not hiding from it."

"I did say that, didn't I?"

I reached for my coffee before handing her the camomile tea she'd made for herself.

"Thanks," she murmured, wrapping her hands around the warm mug.

"I wouldn't be where I am if you hadn't encouraged me in the beginning, so anything I can do to help you get this off the ground, I will. My staff is at your disposal." I knew I had most of the professionals she would need to get this up and running, and I would instruct them to make her a priority.

"That's very generous, but I couldn't ask you to do that. You keep them so busy as it is with your stuff."

Ignoring her objection, I asked, "You think you'd want to do this from home for now?"

"Um yeah, I guess so. It would make more sense, right? Then I wouldn't have to worry about the overhead."

"If you need a business loan, I'd be happy to--"

She touched my cheek, smiling. "I love you for offering, but no thanks. If I'm going to do this, I have to learn how to make it work on my own."

"Okay." I leaned my head back, tipping my face toward hers. "For the record, I think it'll be a huge success."

"Thanks." Her face lit up. "I have to admit, I'm really excited just thinking about it. I know it'll be hard and scary, but it could be just the thing I've been looking for. I was worried about the real estate thing because I knew it would involve nights and weekends. Even having a full-time job would mean I couldn't be there for them as much and I know it may seem silly, but I feel like they still need me."

"That's not silly. They do still need you, Mac. They always will. You're their mom." But they don't need you half as much as I do.

"This seems like the perfect solution," she admitted. "I could work from home, set my own hours, grow the business slowly, and do something I love. What could be better, right?"

"Right." I stole a quick kiss, making her smile.

"There's only one thing that concerns me."

"What's that?"

"I've worked so hard to take all this weight off. If I'm taste-testing the product, I'm worried I'll put it all back on again."

I could tell she was seriously concerned, so I tried not to smile. "Baby, don't you know how gorgeous you are?"

Refusing to meet my gaze, she set her mug down on the table. "You didn't think so when I was twenty-eight pounds heavier."

"Bullshit." I leaned forward, grasping her chin between my thumb and forefinger. "I've always thought you were the most beautiful woman I've ever had the privilege of being with, bar none. If we drifted apart, it had nothing to do with your weight. It's because I was an idiot who--"

She grabbed my face between her hands, kissing me fiercely. "Thank you for saying that and making me believe it."

"I love you, Mac," I said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Always have, always will."

"Will you stay tonight?" she whispered.

God yes. "What about the boys?"

"If you're worried, you can always sneak out of here before they wake up. I just need to be with you tonight, Ryker. Please say you'll stay."

"Of course I'll stay."

# Chapter Fifteen

Mackenzie

Making love to Ryker had always been the food that fueled my soul. I'd never felt more connected to another human being in my life than I did to him when we made love.

Unlike the previous night, which had been fast and furious and desperate, this time was slow and intense, as though he was intent on making up for our fight last night. I didn't know if it was in deference to the fact our son Zane's room was above ours, but his husky voice was low, his words intimate, his movements slow and controlled, driving me to the edge and over before he captured my cries in a heated kiss.

Our eyes linked, the intensity burning in his making my stomach quiver.

"This is where I belong," he whispered. "Right here. In our bed. Buried so deep inside you, you forget what it felt like to sleep alone all those months."

It would be so easy to forget what had led to the demise of our marriage, but for the sake of our children, I had to be one hundred percent certain we weren't the same people who'd let our marriage fall apart the first time.

"This is home to me," he whispered, punctuating the point with the slow thrust of his hips as he kissed my neck. "This house. This bed. Your sweet body. It's the only place I've ever wanted to be, baby. You're the only woman I've ever needed."

I believed him. I knew he needed me just as much as I needed him. Life without Ryker had gone on, but there'd been a huge hollow in my heart where his love used to live. Now, having him here, my heart was intact again. And I wanted it to remain that way. Forever.

"God, baby," he whispered, his body tensing above mine when I clenched him tight, sparking his release. His muscular body trembled as his release moved through him into me. "Mac, Jesus..."

I brushed my hand over his damp forehead, smiling at his spent condition as I kissed the stubble peppering his jaw. "I love you."

Those three little words triggered another tremor before his strong arms closed around me. "I love you too, baby. More than anything."

Our heavy breathing subsided before he coaxed me to roll onto my side, fitting his body in behind mine as his arms circled me. He pulled the covers up to cover us, obviously intent on settling in for the night.

"Should we set the alarm?" I asked, finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. "To wake up before the boys do? Maybe they'll think you slept on the couch?"

"Do you want them to think that?"

I could feel his heart pounding against my back, and I knew my response was more important to him than he was letting on. He wanted to tell our kids that we were back together. For good. That the worst times were behind us and the best times were ahead. I wanted that too, but it hadn't even been a week since we'd started seeing each other again. No one made important life decisions in that amount of time, especially when there were other people's feelings involved.

"I want this," I said, curling into his warmth. "I want my husband back, but let's just take this one day at a time, Ryker. The boys know we're spending time together. Maybe by the time we go to the cottage, we'll be ready to share a bedroom and let them know we're back together. Officially. Does that sound reasonable?" I held my breath, waiting for his response, praying this wouldn't lead to another argument like last night.

He reached over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. "Six thirty, okay? They won't be up before then, will they?"

I laughed, relieved he was willing to play along for now. "You're kidding, right? We'll have to haul their butts out of bed at seven thirty if they're going to go to the shop with you."

"Oh, you heard that, huh? You think it's a good idea?"

"Definitely. They need something to keep them busy this summer. They've been spending a lot of time across the street, especially Zane. I don't want him to wear out his welcome."

He cleared his throat before settling in next to me again. "Has, he, uh, been over there lately? Like tonight?"

"Not that I know of. Why?" I turned around to look at him, but his back was to me as he turned off the lamp on his nightstand. "Has he said anything to you about Brittany? She's a nice girl, but he's way too young to be dating anyone seriously, don't you think?"

"Um yeah, I do."

"As far as I know, they've gone out with a group of friends before, but never just the two of them. Maybe you should talk to him about her, figure out where his head's at, huh?"

"Yeah, maybe I should." He kissed my cheek. "'Night, baby. Love you."

I sensed a shift in his mood. After so many years together, it was easy to read his mind. "Is something wrong?" I asked, reaching around to touch his shoulder.

"No. Why?"

"You just seem kind of distant all of a sudden."

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, if I were any closer, I'd be inside you again. Not that I have a problem with that if you're up for it?"

I knew he was trying to distract me, and I wanted to know why. If we were going to rebuild our relationship from a place of honesty, trust, and open communication, I needed to believe he could feel comfortable telling me when there was something on his mind, even if he feared I wouldn't like it.

"Are you upset I don't want the boys to know we're...?" I gestured toward our covered bodies. "You know, back together like this."

He laughed, a deep, rich sound that made my toes curl. "Honey, trust me, no teenager wants to think about his parents having sex. So no, it doesn't bother me that you don't want to tell them that."

My cheeks burned when I thought about having that conversation with my kids. I didn't even want them to see me in a short skirt, never mind think about me, about us... Ugh.

"That's not what I mean and you know it," I said, slapping his forearm.

"I know." He kissed my shoulder. "I'm just teasing you. Can we go to sleep now? I'm wiped out. It's been a long day."

"I guess so." I was exhausted too. But before I drifted off, I had to let him know what I was thinking. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Not half as glad as I am to be here, Mac."

***

The boys didn't seem surprised to find their dad sitting at the breakfast bar the next morning, enjoying toast and a ham-and-cheese omelet with his cup of coffee.

"Hey," Zane said, slapping Ryker on the back before claiming the stool beside him. "What do you think you're going to have us doing today?"

"I thought I'd let your uncle Nex do a walk-through with you, get a feel for the production end of things, but it might be best for you to work in the retail part this summer. Unless you think you'd rather work in shipping?"

Ryker had turned his brand into a household name, selling everything from jackets to T-shirts and leather jackets with their logo in a retail store adjacent to their facility. "The store might be a good fit for you guys," I said to them before plating their breakfast and passing it to them. "That way you wouldn't be cooped up in a dark and dingy factory all day."

Ryker's lips twitched before his eyes met mine. "Dark and dingy factory? That building is only seven years old, if you recall. It's bright and spacious and the walls are painted white, not black."

I knew he was just teasing me, but I still felt guilty for taking a shot at his pride and joy. "You know what I mean," I said, curling my hands around my mug before turning the gas stove off and loading the used dishes into the dishwasher. "The retail store is probably a little more fun with people coming in and out all day."

"I wouldn't mind working in the store," Cole said, taking a huge bite out of his omelet. "Especially if we get to wear the clothes."

Ryker had worked with a talented artist to design a line of tattoo-inspired clothing that was selling faster than they could supply the demand.

"Anything you want from the store, you just have to ask," Ryker said, glancing from Cole to Zane. "You guys know that, right?"

We'd raised our kids not to expect things just because we had the financial means to provide them. They had the toys most of their friends had--laptops, iPads, and iPhones--but they didn't ask for anything beyond the basic essentials.

"It'd be cool to get some stuff from the store," Zane said, shrugging. "Joey went in there with his dad last week and got this really cool jacket." He cleared his throat. "He said it was like fifteen hundred bucks though. His old man bought it for his birthday."

Ryker and I shared a look. I knew he was silently asking me whether he should give them carte blanche to choose whatever they wanted from the store or put a cap on it.

"Well," I said to them, "since you're going to be working there, it would probably be a good idea for you to at least have some T-shirts, you know, to represent the brand. Right, Ryker?"

"Yeah, definitely," he said, nodding.

"Those boots," Zane said, gesturing to the custom leather boots Ryker wore. "Do you sell those at the store?"

"Uh, no," Ryker said, grinning. "I had those made. I do have something similar though."

"A knock-off, huh?" Zane asked, grinning.

"Something like that," Ryker said, polishing off his coffee.

I refilled his mug while suggesting, "Maybe you should just get some hats and T-shirts for now. I'm sure you'll get an employee discount working there this summer. If you want larger-ticket items, like leather jackets and boots, you can always put them on layaway and pay a bit down each time you get a paycheck. That way you'll have them by the time school goes back in."

Ryker frowned, and I could tell he wasn't thrilled with the prospect of asking his sons to pay for his products, but the whole point of this summer job was to teach them about responsibility, and I knew for a fact no one had ever handed Ryker or his brothers anything when they were that age. They had to work for everything they got, and I wanted our sons to grow up with a strong work ethic as well.

"If you guys are finished," Ryker said, gesturing to their near-empty plates, "you can go upstairs and finish getting ready. I need to stop by my place to grab a quick shower and change my clothes before we head in."

Zane and Cole shared a smile, obviously speculating about the reason Ryker had spent the night at our house instead of going home. But instead of asking, Zane said, "Sure, Dad. We'll be right back."

Ryker waited until they were upstairs before he said, "Mac, they don't need to pay for that stuff. They can take whatever they want from the store."

"You really think that's a good idea?" I asked, refilling my cup. "I know you want them to have all the things you never had growing up, but we can't give them everything they want without asking them to work for anything. It doesn't send the right message."

He ran a hand over his mouth before sitting back and crossing his arms. "I hear what you're saying, I do. But it doesn't feel right, taking their money for clothes. I'm their dad. I'm supposed to provide stuff like that. Especially since it is my shop."

I walked around the counter, taking his handsome face in my hands. "I know how you feel, babe. And I understand why you feel the way you do, given your upbringing."

"My old man never did a damn thing for us. He didn't care if we had clothes on our backs or not."

I hugged him, wishing I could take all of his pain away. "I know, but there has to be a balance between giving them what they want and making them work for it."

He took a deep breath. "Fine, we'll do this your way."

I smiled. "If it'll make you feel better, give them a seventy-five percent discount."

"Hell, that kid I had working for me last summer, Jake, I let him take his pick of what he wanted before he headed off to college, and you're asking me to charge my own kids?" He squeezed my waist. "It just doesn't feel right, baby."

"I had a job when I was their age, and if I wanted new clothes, I bought them with my own money. That's reality for most teens, Ryker."

"Fine," he said, pulling me closer so he could tease my neck with his lips. "I'll let you have your own way on this one." He pushed my robe over my shoulders, letting his mouth wander.

I curled my hands into his shoulders, sighing before I finally found the strength to push him away. "Behave. They're going to be back down here any minute."

"You're no fun," he grumbled, trying to grab the tie of my terry robe when I walked away.

"That's not what you were saying last night," I whispered, winking at him.

"Stop," he said, groaning as he shifted in his seat. "I have to walk out that door in a few minutes with our kids."

I giggled as I stood across from him, licking my lips suggestively.

"Tease," he mouthed.

"You wanna come by for dinner tonight?"

"I'd love to, but I have other plans."

"Oh." My smile slipped as I turned away from him.

"It's a business dinner, Mac. I'd get out of it if I could, but it's kind of a big deal."

I didn't know why I felt a tightening in my stomach when I learned he had other plans. He told me he wasn't interested in seeing anyone else, and I believed him, but the way that bartender had been ogling him all night last night reminded me there were plenty of women who'd love to warm Ryker's lonely bed.

Maybe I was crazy for trying to keep him at arm's length, suggesting he maintain his own house while we sort things out. If he were back home, sleeping with me every night, I wouldn't have to worry about all those women who still believed he was single and available, thanks to all those media reports about our split.

Completely unaware of my train of thought, he asked, "What do you have planned for today?"

"I was thinking about what we talked about last night," I lied. "Maybe I should start going through the old family recipes, figure out what I might like to offer, you know, if I do decide to move ahead with this baking thing."

"I really think you should," he said, glancing at his cell phone when it buzzed. "Ugh, forty-five new emails already and it's not even eight o'clock. Looks like it's gonna be one of those days."

"You should probably get going then. I have to hit the gym soon anyhow."

He dropped his phone on the counter. "Uh, I thought we decided we were going to hit the gym together from now on."

"Sure, when we can," I said, returning the orange juice to the fridge. "But like you said, you're busy today. Maybe tomorrow?"

"But Mike will be there, won't he?"

I smiled. "I assume so. He does own the place."

He rubbed the back of his neck, seeming hesitant. "Mac, I know I can't tell you want to do, but this doesn't sit well with me. That guy's made no secret of the fact he wants you. He's pissed that we're getting back together and he--"

"Stop," I said, holding my finger against his lips. "I'm not interested in him. Never have been, never will be. I'm going there to work out. That's all."

"But we have a full gym downstairs," he argued. "Why not use that?"

"But we don't have a track." I knew it was pointless, trying to be rational when his jealousy was fuelling his behavior.

"It's a beautiful day," he said, gesturing to the wraparound windows. "Go for a run outside. The fresh air will do you good."

"Ryker, I paid for the gym membership, and I'm going to use it."

"It's not just Mike," he said, scowling. "Nex said there are always guys there checking you out."

I was flattered that my brother-in-law had even noticed me with all the beautiful young girls trying to get his attention. "Please," I said, rolling my eyes. "You know what those places are like, Ryk. Meat markets."

He clenched his jaw, practically spitting the words out. "Maybe that's why I don't want my wife hanging out there."

I grabbed his hand. "Look at me." Pointing at my mouth, I said, "Read my lips." I enunciated slowly to make my point. "I want you. I don't want anyone else. Understood?"

His eyes travelled to my hand. "You'll wear those when you work out?"

I shook my head, unable to suppress my amusement at his insecurity. Ryker was the most confident, secure guy I knew, and the fact he was acting this way seemed ridiculous to me. "I can't." I held up my hand. "The weight bar will bend the band."

"Wear gloves," he muttered.

"I do, but I'm not going to risk it." I leaned over the breakfast bar, pursing my lips for a kiss. "I. Love. You."

He captured my face in his hands, kissing me thoroughly. "You're going to be the death of me, woman. You do know that, don't you?"

I giggled. "Just trying to keep you on your toes, sexy." At least he wasn't taking me for granted anymore.

# Chapter Sixteen

Ryker

I sneaked out on my lunch hour to visit my mother-in-law. I hadn't seen Mary since before the split, but I had something important to discuss with her and it couldn't wait.

Mary met me at the door of the tidy Tudor-style home where she and her husband had raised their two daughters. Mac's sister had moved to Oklahoma when her husband got a teaching positon at a college out there. I knew Mary and Mac missed her, but they all kept in touch through regular calls and emails.

"I was so happy when you called," Mary said, pulling me into a hug. "It's been too long. I've missed you, Ryker."

"I've missed you too, Mary."

Ever since my mama died, Mary had been there for me, anything I needed, which was why I felt guilty for not reaching out to her after Mac and I split. She deserved better than that.

"I'm sorry it's been so long."

She linked her arm through mine as she led me into the kitchen. "I understand, honey. These things are never easy. Tell me, how've you been holding up?"

"I feel like things are finally getting back on track."

She pulled out a chair, a smile brightening her softly lined face. That was Mary. Always a ready smile for a friend or a stranger, it didn't matter. "I'm glad to hear it. Sit down and tell me all about it while I make the coffee. When you called to tell me you'd be stopping by, I thought I'd make us some sandwiches. Hope that's okay?"

"That'd be great. Thanks."

Of course sandwiches in Mary's house didn't consist of the cold meat variety. Like her daughter, she loved to cook and bake, so these sandwiches consisted of homemade bread, grilled meat and vegetables, and two kinds of cheese with homemade condiments. I was salivating just looking at them.

"God, that looks good." I kissed her hand when she set it down in front of me. "You're an angel. Bachin' it consists of way too much takeout. I hate it."

"Is that the only thing you hate about it?" she asked, taking her steel-framed glasses off and letting them hang from the chain around her neck.

"I hate everything about it."

She set paper napkins and two bottles of water on the table, bringing her own plate to the table while the coffee brewed. "Then why haven't you done something about it? The Ryker I know doesn't sit back and wait for things to happen. He makes them happen."

"I was trying to give her time and space, Mar. I thought that's what she wanted."

She shook her head so vehemently it made her soft gray curls bounce. "You should know better than that. A woman wants to feel wanted, needed. You give her too much time and space, and she'll think you don't need her anymore."

"Trust me, that couldn't be further from the truth." I took a bite of my sandwich, thinking about Mary's advice. She was right. I shouldn't have waited so long to let Mac know how much I wanted her back.

"But you said things are back on track? Does that mean you and my daughter have finally come to your senses?"

I knew Mac talked to her mother every day. If she hadn't told her we'd been seeing each other, maybe it wasn't my place to tell her. "Uh, Mac hasn't said anything to you about us?"

She laughed before winking at me. "Of course she has. I just wanted to hear what you had to say about it."

I smiled, thinking I shouldn't be surprised she was baiting me. Mary had spent half her life working in the public school system, where she had to be one step ahead of teenagers who thought they knew it all. "I love Mac, more now than ever."

Mary smiled, her satisfaction evident. "And I trust you've told her this?"

"Yeah, I tell her all the time how much I love her."

She took a small bite before wiping her mouth with a paper napkin. "Then maybe the more important question is what have you done to show her? A woman needs to feel it as much as she needs to hear it, Ryker. People may not have pegged my Bill for a romantic, but they'd have been wrong. He was the kind of man who bought me flowers for no reason and didn't wait for an anniversary to give me a beautiful card telling me how much he loved me."

She's right. I never would have guessed that about Bill. He was gruff cop, who seemed jaded at times. "Really? That doesn't sound like Bill."

"He was a softie with me and the kids. Everyone else saw a different side of him." She patted my hand. "Kind of like you, honey. I know you're different with your boys and Mac than you are with the rest of the world, right?"

"Well yeah, but..." I thought about the things I'd never done: flowers or cards for no reason, hand-picked gifts for birthdays, handwritten letters, sweet or sexy texts to brighten her day. God, I had a lot to learn about being an attentive husband. Too bad Bill wasn't around anymore to teach me what I clearly needed to know.

"But what?" Mary asked, between bites.

"The things you said about Bill..." It was difficult to admit I'd failed Mac, but I clearly had. "You think that's why Mac was dissatisfied with our marriage, because I wasn't giving her all the little things she needed?"

Mary seemed to ponder that question before she said, "I don't know. Maybe."

I needed more than that. I needed someone to tell me what the hell to do so I didn't screw this up again. Losing her once had been hard. Losing her again, after I finally got her back, would kill me.

"But remember, Mackenzie loves you for you, honey. She doesn't need you to be someone else."

"Yeah, but I clearly wasn't enough, Mar." As delicious as the sandwich was, it didn't go down easily on the heels of that admission. "She needed more from me, and by the time I realized that, it was too late to fix it."

"Mac has always been clear about the fact she didn't blame you for anything. She said she was just as responsible as you were for allowing your marriage to fall apart. She told me you still cared for and respected each other, but you just didn't connect anymore. You'd drifted apart."

Drifted apart. God, I hated that term. "The thing is, I didn't even realize it was happening." I chewed slowly, fearful the food would stick in my throat, given the regret I was trying to contain. "Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and before I knew it..." We hadn't made love in months. Of course, I couldn't say that to my mother-in-law. "She was asking me to move out."

"You understand why she asked you to leave though, right?"

"Yeah." She didn't want a roommate. She wanted a husband, a lover, a best friend again. "I get it."

"There's nothing wrong with making mistakes, honey. The important thing is that you learn from them and don't make the same mistake twice."

"You're right." I polished off my sandwich and wiped my mouth with the paper napkin. "And I don't intend to. I'll do whatever it takes to get my family back. That's the only thing that matters to me right now."

She smiled. "And with an attitude like that, I have no doubt you will."

I gave her a one-armed hug before kissing her cheek. "Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know how much I love you, right? And not just because you're my wife's mother, but because you guys were there for me when my mama died. The grief damn near did me in, but you were there to remind me that my mama wanted me to be happy and wouldn't want me to go on being miserable forever."

She patted my cheek, the affection obvious in her blue eyes. "I love you too." She kissed my cheek. "Damn near broke my heart when my daughter told me she'd asked you to move out. I knew it was a mistake, but what could I say? I had to respect her decision." She sighed. "But I couldn't help but think how disappointed Bill would have been. He loved you like a son."

I chuckled as I thought about how rocky our start had been. If someone had told me then he would become the father I always wanted, I would have thought they were high, but that's exactly what happened. "I still miss him."

"We all do," Mary said with a sad smile. "I run into people in the grocery store or at church, colleagues of Bill's or their wives, and they always have a Bill story to make me smile or laugh. That's what life is about, isn't it? Touching people's lives. Being the kind of person people want to remember long after you're gone."

"Yeah." We were both silent for a few moments, no doubt lost in our own favorite memories of Bill. "I don't know what kind of father I would have been without his influence. He showed me what it means to be a real man, a real father." Too bad I hadn't been paying better attention to the kind of husband he was.

Mary smiled. "Once he got to know you better and his opinion of you started to soften, he'd tell me you were just like all those misguided kids who drifted in and out of the police station because nobody cared about them, or the person who did care didn't know how to help them, how to be the example they needed. Bill decided he wanted to be that for you, an example of how to do things differently, better maybe."

"And he was."

Mary squeezed my hand before standing. "Let me see about coffee and dessert." I watched her clear the plates and load the dishwasher after she waved off my offer to help.

"Here we are," she said, setting a big piece of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting on a plate in front of me.

I dug in, moaning with satisfaction. "This is amazing. I was just telling Mac last night she should start a business selling her cookies and cupcakes and stuff. But you two should totally go into business together. After all, you're the one who taught her everything she knows about baking, right?"

Mary paused before setting two coffee mugs on the table between us. "You're serious? Mackenzie is going to start a business... selling baked goods?"

"Yeah, she didn't tell you about it?"

"I haven't talked to her yet today," she said, reclaiming her seat. "Wow, I can't believe that."

I was surprised by Mary's reaction. She seemed stunned. "I think she'd be great at it, don't you?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," she said, bringing the coffee mug to her lips. "She inherited our love for baking, that's for sure. Mine and her grandmother's." She smiled. "Everyone used to tell my mama she should open her own bakery."

"But she never did?" I asked, trying to pace myself instead of scarfing down the cake the way I wanted to.

"No." She shook her head sadly. "Those were different times. Besides, my family didn't have the kind of money for a venture like that. Everything we had was tied up in surviving."

"Would you do something like that if you could?" I asked, regarding her carefully.

Mary wasn't the type of woman to ask for help, but something told me the idea of going into business with her daughter intrigued her. If I could help both of them realize their dream, that would be the ultimate win for me.

"I'm getting too old to start something new," she said, laughing.

"Come on," I said, nudging her elbow with mine. "You're one of the most vital, energetic grandmas I've ever met. You could totally do this if you wanted to."

"But this is Mackenzie's dream. Maybe she doesn't need any help with it."

I knew how close my wife and her mother were. She would love to have Mary's help getting this business off the ground. "Why don't you talk to her about it? See what she's thinking before you decide against it."

Mary bit her lip, looking as though she was trying to contain her excitement as the idea started to take root in her mind. "Maybe I will."

"Good. So listen, there's another reason I stopped by. As you probably know, Zane's taking driving lessons."

She chuckled. "Yes, I remember how anxious I was when my girls got their driver's licenses. I used to wait up for them every night."

"Well, he's been bugging me about getting him a set of wheels, and I was wondering whether you still had Bill's old car?"

It was classic Mustang, just like the first car he'd ever owned, and he'd planned to restore it when he retired, but he passed away before he could. He loved that car, the memories it held and the potential fun and excitement it represented. It was a part of him, and I thought bringing it back to life so Bill's grandson could drive it would be a nice way to honor him. Besides, I knew Zane would love that car once his uncle got finished with it.

"Of course I do," she said, smiling. "You know I could never sell it. Bill loved it too much."

I was almost afraid to ask, but since that had been part of the reason for my visit, I did. "Would you consider selling it to me, for Zane? Seb said he'd work on it for us, and trust me, when he gets finished with it, it would be everything Bill envisioned."

"I'm sure it would." She broke into a wide grin. "I can't think of anything Bill would love more than seeing one of his grandsons enjoy that car."

"Really?"

"Of course!" she said, clapping her hands. "He would love that!"

I pulled my checkbook out of my pocket. With a pen poised above it, I said, "Name your price, Mar."

"Put that away," she said, slapping my hand. "I don't want your money, Ryker. You're family. Besides, I know Bill would want Zane to have it."

I knew Mary could use the money but was too proud to take it. "I'm not taking that car unless you let me pay you for it. End of discussion."

In its current condition, I knew the Mustang was worth about six thousand dollars, but I suspected Mary didn't know the market value. I wrote her a check of ten thousand, sliding it under the plate before she could see it and object.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," she said, frowning.

"There's just one more thing."

"What?"

"Don't tell Mac about this. I want it to be a surprise." Mac knew how much her dad loved that car. I had to believe she would be almost as excited as Zane when she saw it restored to its former glory.

"Do you really think that's the kind of secret you want to keep from your wife, Ryker? She might have an opinion about it."

"Trust me, it's the right call," I said, kissing her cheek. "Thanks for everything. Lunch was great." Setting my hand on her shoulder, I said, "I'll ask Seb to have his guys pick up the car so they can start working on it right away, if that's okay."

"Sure, whenever you like."

"And talk to Mac about the business idea. I know she'd love to have you on board."

"Thanks," she said, patting my hand. "I just might do that."

***

When I returned to work, I stopped into the store to see how the training was going. Nex had instructed the manager to teach the boys everything they needed to know about the store, and judging by their intent expression as they watched the computer screen over his shoulder, that's exactly what he was doing.

"Hey, Ryker," the store manager, Jordan, said when he spotted me. He reached across the counter to shake my hand. "Thanks for the help. Nice that I don't have to worry about hiring anyone this summer."

"Yeah, I probably should have given you a heads-up, Jordan. Sorry about that."

"No worries," he said, grinning. "Perfect timing, really. I was just going to post an ad today, so it worked out great."

"Good." While we were conversing, I noticed Zane was checking his phone, something that was a no-no on the sales floor. "Uh, can I have just a minute with them, man?"

"Sure," Jordan said. "Take your time. I was just gonna take a quick break anyhow."

I waited until Jordan wandered into the back room and the other sales associate on the floor was busy with a customer before I asked, "Has Jordan gone over policies and procedures with you guys yet? What is and isn't allowed on the floor?"

"Yeah," Cole said. "He covered that first thing."

I nodded toward the phone still clutched in Zane's hand. "So, what are you doing with that?"

He shrugged. "I was just making plans to hook up with a friend later. I didn't think you'd mind."

"First of all," I said, leaning over the high glass counter, "Jordan's your boss here, not me."

"Yeah, but you own the whole damn place," Zane said, smirking. "So that makes you his boss."

If there was one thing I never wanted my kids to have, it was a sense of entitlement. They worked hard in school and sports and reaped the rewards. I didn't want this job to be any different.

"Let's be clear on one thing," I said, narrowing my eyes at my eldest son. "You don't get special treatment here. You come in for your scheduled shifts on time. You don't call in sick unless you are. You take the allotted time for lunches and breaks, and you're respectful of Jordan and the other employees. Is that understood?"

"Yeah," Zane said, glancing down at his shoes. "Sure." He cleared his throat before stealing a glance at me. "What's got you in such a pissy mood? You and Mom get into it again or what?"

I glared at him before pointing at the door. "Outside. Now." I waited for him to follow me, walking a safe distance away from the building before I said, "What the hell's with this attitude?"

"Nothing," he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy denim shorts.

I knew he was in a mood for a reason, but I'd learned a long time ago that was just part of being a teenager. I'd been moody and hostile when I was his age too. As his dad, I understood, but as his boss, I wasn't going to stand for it.

"Listen, if you're not happy about being here, feel free to go and find a job somewhere else. But make no mistake, you will be working this summer. I don't need you lying around the house doing nothing, or worse, sneaking around behind our backs like you did the other night when your mom was out."

"You haven't told her about that, have you?" he asked, looking alarmed.

"I said I wouldn't and I haven't." I still felt guilty about not coming clean with Mac, but she was a worrier and I suspected the Brit thing had already blown over, now that he knew she had another guy she hadn't told him about. "But that was your one free pass. If I hear about you lying to us again, I will tell your mom and you will be punished."

He nodded, looking sullen.

"Look, kid," I said, clamping a hand down on his shoulder, "I remember what it was like when I was your age. Truth be told, I made a hell of a lot of mistakes. And I just don't want to see you go down the same road I did."

"Yeah, but how am I supposed to learn if you guys won't cut me some slack?"

I knew he had a point. Words didn't teach, and some lessons had to be learned the hard way.

Scraping my hands over my face, I exhaled, trying to put myself in his position. He was still trying to figure things out, like which girls where worthy of his time and trust, and I knew from experience how difficult that could be, even for an adult, never mind a teenager.

"I'm really trying to cut you some slack, Zane. But you need to meet me halfway here. I invited you to work here because I'm proud of you. I think you and your brother will be good reps for my business." When he didn't respond, I said, "I don't have to tell you how much it means to me to have you here, do I?"

"No."

He kicked at a stone on the ground instead of looking at me, and I realized how sheltered he'd been. He had no idea how hard my life had been at his age or much I'd had to sacrifice to pull myself out of the hole and make a new life for myself and my family.

"Come over here with me for a minute," I said, gesturing to a group of picnic tables in an open, grassy area where employees enjoyed their lunches and breaks. "I know you have to get back to work, but consider this your break. We need to talk about something."

He didn't look thrilled at the prospect, probably assuming I was going to give him a lecture about responsibility, but that wasn't my intent.

When we were both sitting on a table, shoulder to shoulder, I said, "So, I know I don't talk about my childhood much. You know it wasn't easy, but you probably don't realize how hard it was."

He shot a sidelong glance in my direction to let me know he was invested in what I was saying. "Hard, how?"

"My old man was tough on us when he was around, which wasn't often. We could never really count on him. He was a mean drunk, hated his life, and took it out on all of us."

"When you say he took it out on you...?"

"Yeah," I said, lacing my hands between my bent knees. "He beat the hell out of us. I took the worst of it 'cause I was the oldest. But I would have taken it every damn day to prevent him for whalin' on my mama the way he did."

"Jesus," Zane whispered. "I knew it was bad, but not that bad."

I stared straight ahead, watching people coming and going from the building I'd created. Thinking back to the kid I told my son about, it was hard to imagine I'd found the confidence to believe I was capable of achieving anything. According to my old man, I was worthless, would never amount to anything. And for years I believed him. Until I met Mac and she made me believe I was worth something. I owed her and her family everything.

"It took me a long time to stop hating him." I slipped my dark glasses over my eyes, not trusting myself to contain the tears. I didn't talk about it often, but when I did, it always brought everything right back to the surface as though it had happened yesterday instead of twenty-five years ago. "But eventually I did, 'cause all that hostility was tearing me up inside."

"Is that why you got mixed up with gangs?"

I thought about correcting him, reminding him that it was a motorcycle club, but his perceptions were accurate, and I knew it didn't matter what I called it. It was a part of my past, and I wasn't ashamed of it.

"I guess so. I wanted to feel safe, to belong. I thought if my old man came back, intent on doing me in the way he'd threatened to, I'd have all the backup I needed. I had brothers who'd always have my back." This time I wasn't talking about my biological brothers, and I sensed my son knew that.

"Your own father threatened to kill you?" Zane asked quietly. "Man, that's harsh."

"Yeah, it was." I braced my elbows on my knees, covering my mouth with my linked hands. "But you know what? I'm glad I got him for an old man."

"You are?" Zane asked, looking stunned. "Why?"

"He taught me a lot. Like what kind of father I didn't want to be." I swallowed the tears, thinking how hard I'd tried to be the kind of parent my kids could look up to and admire. I knew I hadn't always succeeded, but it wasn't because of lack of effort. It was just a matter of being human.

"I worked my ass off for this," I said, gesturing to the acreage surrounding my gated complex. "Not because I was on some ego trip and needed to prove something. I did it for you and your brother and your mom. Because I wanted to give you the kind of life I'd never had."

"I get that, Dad," Zane said, bumping shoulders with me. "Sorry for being an ass earlier. I know how hard you work for us, and we're grateful, seriously."

I wrapped my arm around his neck, tightening my grip just enough to make him chuckle. "Then start acting like it and quit giving me and everyone else a hard time."

"Yes, boss," he said, saluting me.

I jerked a thumb toward my truck. "Maybe you'd best lock that phone in the truck until quitting time. I'm not sure I can trust you with it."

He groaned. "Ah, man, seriously?"

I glanced at my watch. "I think you'll survive without it for four hours, big shot. And from now on, leave the damn thing at home."

He jumped off the picnic table. "You suck, Dad."

He said it with a grin, so when I lifted my boot to kick his ass, I let him dodge it.

# Chapter Seventeen

Mackenzie

It had been a hectic week for Ryker. He'd had to work late a couple of nights, so I picked the boys up from the store, and he'd had a few business dinners that kept him out late. I was almost embarrassed to admit how much I'd missed him. Every night I fell asleep thinking about asking him to move back home.

But we were finally together, sitting in the karate studio, watching our son impress people with his carefully rehearsed routine. I knew how hard he'd worked to get his brown belt and how proud he was that, after years of training, his black belt was finally in sight.

Ryker linked hands with me, smiling, when Cole finished his routine and their sensei gathered the students for the belt presentation. We'd been to many of these before, but I felt the same sense of pride every time, knowing that my boys had committed to something and worked hard to see it through.

Zane, who'd been awarded his brown belt several months ago, was seated beside me, discreetly checking his phone when he thought no one was looking. Ryker leaned over me, glaring at our son, who promptly pocketed his phone and sat up straighter, giving his sensei his undivided attention.

After the belt presentations, we gathered with the other parents to take photographs and congratulate Cole before making our way out of the studio.

Once outside, Ryker said, "I made reservations at Bern's for seven," he said, referring to a nearby steakhouse. "That should give us time to swing by the house so you can change, Cole."

"Cool," Cole said as he and his brother piled into the backseat while Ryker held the passenger's door of his Escalade for me.

"What do you guys have planned for tonight?" Zane asked. "After dinner, I mean."

Ryker and I exchanged a look before he looked at Zane in his rearview mirror. "We don't have any plans, aside from having dinner with you two. Why?"

I looked over my shoulder in time to see Zane shrug. "I don't know. I was just thinking I might meet up with some friends if we're not gonna be too late. Maybe catch a movie or something."

"Don't count on it," Ryker muttered, starting the engine.

I sensed a bit of tension between them, but I didn't want to ruin our evening by calling them out on it. I knew they would work it out on their own. They always did.

"Did you tell the boys about your plans?" Ryker asked, holding my hand.

"You mean about the business?" I hadn't told them yet. I'd just done a little preliminary research with my mom and wanted to wait until we were further along before I mentioned it to them. "No, I haven't."

"What business?" Cole asked.

"Um, your dad had an idea about me possibly starting my own business."

The idea still sounded a little daunting. It was one thing when I was thinking of getting my real estate license. Then I would have had a very clear course of action and the support of a brokerage. In this case, I'd be on my own, with the exception of my mother, who was enthralled with the idea. Unfortunately, she didn't have any more experience running a business than I did.

"What kind of business?" Zane asked.

At least he sounded interested. These days the only thing that seemed to hold his interest was that damn cell phone. "Selling baked goods. We'd start as a home-based business, I think, if we could find a strategy for shipping. Eventually, we might get a small retail space, maybe even start doing wedding cakes."

"Who's we?" Cole asked.

"Me and your nana."

"That's awesome," Cole said, sounding genuinely enthused. "You should totally do that. No one can bake better than you two."

I smiled as I shifted in my seat so I could see his face. "Thanks, honey." It was so nice to have his support. "What do you think, Zane? Good idea or what?"

He shrugged. Again. "Whatever."

Ryker shot him another look in the rearview mirror before squeezing my hand. "I'm glad you're thinking about bringing your mom on board. It would be good for her, for both of you."

My mother and I had always been close, but even more so since we lost my dad. I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather go into business with. "We owe it to you," I said, stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. "I wouldn't even have had this idea without you, and adding my mother to the mix was pure genius."

"It just makes sense," he said, smiling as he turned down our street. "You guys work well together, get along great, and having her help would certainly be easier than going it alone, especially in the beginning." He pulled into our drive and cut the engine. "I think you're right about the logistical concerns though--"

"Be right back," Zane muttered, jumping out of the truck and running across the street when he spotted Brittany in her driveway.

Ryker watched them in his sideview mirror, frowning, as Cole got out, promising he would hurry.

"What's wrong?" I asked, grabbing his thigh. "You don't like Brittany?"

"Uh, yeah sure. She's fine." Tearing his gaze from the mirror, he directed his attention to me. "As I was saying, maybe you should consider that retail location. The logistics of trying to ship your product might be a headache you don't need right now. This is a large market. It would allow you to test things out, see what works and what doesn't before you broaden your reach."

I knew his suggestion made sense, but making that kind of commitment was scary. I would have to lease space, likely renovate, buy supplies, including expensive appliances, set up a website... the list went on and on.

"I can already see the wheels turning," Ryker said, laughing. "Remember that little place we bought on Dale Mabry about three years ago?"

"Yeah."

Ryker had a friend who was a commercial agent, and whenever a good property came up, he would call and ask whether we were interested in adding it to our portfolio. If memory served, the building he was talking about was small and housed a store with a couple of apartments above it.

"The tenant told me last month that he'll be leaving when his lease his up. He's retiring."

"Huh." The current use was a deli, which meant it was already set up with a small kitchen and a few tables for patrons. "Interesting."

"Why don't you and your mom use that space? It might need a bit of work to meet your needs, but I don't think it would take too long to get it up and running." He held his hand up before I could object. "I know what you're going to say, that if you're doing this, you want to do it on your own, but we own this building together, Mac. Just like everything else, it's half yours."

He had a point. It would be silly to lease something when we already had a space that would be suitable. "Do you think I could take my mom by there tomorrow to have a look at the space?" I hadn't been there since Ryker told me he was interested in making an offer on the place three years ago.

"Of course. I'll call ahead and let the owner know to expect you."

I leaned across the seat and gave him a kiss. "Thanks."

"For what?" he asked, smiling.

"For believing in me."

"Always, baby."

***

"How was dinner with Ryker and the boys last night?" my mom asked when she got in the car and fastened her seat belt.

"It was great." I smiled as I backed out of the driveway.

"Does that mean he spent the night again?" she asked, grinning.

Sometimes I was guilty of over-sharing with my mother. This was one of those instances. But after Ryker spent the night the first time, I was excited about how well things were going and when I spoke to her the next day, I just couldn't contain it.

"He did."

She clapped her hands. "Oh, that's wonderful, honey. I'm so happy for you two."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm pretty happy too." Happier than I'd been in a long time. Not only were Ryker and I back on track, but I was really excited about the prospect of opening this bakery with my mom, and I knew I wasn't the only one.

Since she retired from her job as a receptionist at the local high school, she'd been doing clothing alterations, but she still struggled to fill her days. The plan had been for my parents to travel during their retirement, but since Dad passed away, Mom didn't know what to do with herself. I knew this business would be the healthy distraction we both needed to get our lives back on the right track.

"The boys must be thrilled too," she said, reaching forward to turn down the volume on the radio dial. "I know how much they wanted their parents back together."

"Like all kids, right? It's hard for them to imagine either one of us with someone else."

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead." My mother didn't often ask permission before voicing her concerns or opinions, so I was curious.

"What made you decide to consider a reconciliation now after you and Ryker had been apart for months?"

"Well..." Every time I thought about the date from hell, I shuddered. He'd actually called to ask if I'd be interested in doing it again, but I politely told him I was trying to work things out with my husband. "I told you about that awful date I went on. Turns out Ryker went out with someone else too. That's when I realized we either had to move on with our lives or try to make our marriage work. I wasn't ready to let him go."

"That's because you two belong together." She laughed. "It wasn't easy for me and Dad to come to terms with that. When we found out about Ryker's background, we were so scared for you. We were so sure he'd end up in jail and ruin your life."

I smiled at the memory of the dangerous, reckless kid I'd fallen in love with. At twenty, Ryker had been fearless and too cocky to recognize warning signs when he saw them. "He's come a long way since then."

"He sure has," my mom said, laughing. "Before your dad died, he said that he was okay about leaving us because we had Ryker to look out for us." She reached for my hand. "I don't have to tell you that was high praise coming from him."

It would have killed my father to know that Ryker and I had lost our way. Dad used to tell me we had the kind of love that would last forever, so long as we didn't get complacent and forget that our relationship anchored everything else in our lives.

As I found a parking spot in front of the deli, I cut the engine of my Mercedes SUV and turned toward my mother. "I think we'll be even better than before. I've always trusted him, but this time it's different somehow. He's my partner again. I want to share everything with him, and I just know he feels the same way."

"No question, that's the recipe for a healthy relationship, sweetie." Setting her purse in her lap, she asked, "So, when are you going to ask him to move back home?"

"Soon." I grinned, unable to contain my excitement. "We're going up to the cottage with his brothers next weekend. I thought that might be the perfect time to ask him."

"Good luck," my mother said, reaching over to give me a hug. "Though I know you're not going to need it. There's nothing that man wouldn't do to be back with his family, where he belongs."

# Chapter Eighteen

Ryker

As much as I loved my brothers, a little quiet time with Mac would have been nice before we welcomed the troops, especially since we'd barely seen each other all week. I'd been busy with work, and now that she and her mom had committed to moving ahead with their plans for the bakery, she was swamped too.

"What's wrong?" she asked, coming up behind me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her cheek against my back. "It's just like old times, isn't it? Having the family back here?"

I smiled as I turned to face her. "It's even better than I remember."

As much as I'd loved this place when we bought it, I loved it even more now that we were back here together. Everything seemed better, sweeter. Maybe because I appreciated her so much more than I had before we separated. I knew I would never make the mistake of taking her or our marriage for granted again.

"They look like they're having fun," she said, giggling as she spotted my brothers and our sons tearing through our bay on jet skis. A few of them had taken the boat out to see if they could catch a few fish, but the rest were behaving badly, making as much noise as possible and disturbing the neighbors. The teens should have been the worst offenders, but sadly, my brothers were much worse than my sons.

"We should have asked them to come up in the morning," I muttered. "It would have been nice to have a little alone time with you tonight."

She laughed, stepping in front of me so she could watch their shenanigans out the window. "Alone? Come on, when was the last time we had any real alone time?"

That night at my place came to mind. "We have to make more time for that," I said, wrapping my arms around her waist as I set my chin on her shoulder. "Just the two of us. The boys are old enough to be on their own now." I hadn't heard any more complaints from Brittany's father, so I assumed that was a good sign.

"I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving them alone for the weekend," she said, "if that's what you're suggesting. I think they're still a little too young for that. Maybe next year."

I loved that she was thinking that far into the future. It meant that she could imagine us doing things together again as a couple, instead of just as a family. "It won't be long before they start looking at colleges, you know."

She groaned. "Don't remind me. I can't even stand to think about that."

I knew the empty nest would hit Mac hard. Her whole life had revolved around being a mom ever since Zane was born. "At least you'll have the bakery to distract you. How's that going, by the way?"

Though we hadn't been able to spend much time together this week, we had spoken on the phone every night. She was working with the contractors who were going to be doing the renovation for her and had given me daily progress reports.

"Great. Mom's testing some more recipes, so we should be able to finalize the menu soon." She linked her fingers through mine. "And I'm working with the web designer and graphic designer. We should have something to send to the printer by next week."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"You've already done so much. I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you."

I'd set her up with a business line of credit, using the equity in our home. That was the only way she would agree to it, since she flat-out refused my offer of financial help. I was able to sell her on this strategy since the house was half hers; it didn't feel like a loan or charity, as she put it.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, baby. I'm just grateful that you're figuring out what'll make you happy."

She turned to face me. "You know, I think that was part of the problem. I wasn't happy with myself, so how could I be happy with you, right?"

"What do you mean?" There was no way I would let her accept responsibility for mistakes I'd made. If being apart from her taught me one thing, it was that I hadn't been the loving, attentive husband she deserved.

"I wasn't happy with my weight or my lack of direction in life. I had no purpose. You and the boys were the only reason I had to get out of bed some mornings." She stroked my face with a smile when I frowned. "Not that you guys weren't reason enough, but I needed to feel good about myself again, to find something that I could take pride in. This business is giving me that. I know we haven't even opened our doors yet and there's still a chance we could fail but--"

I silenced her with a kiss. "You're not going to fail. Trust me."

"Thank you for believing in me," she said, rolling forward on her toes to kiss me again. "And thank you for suggesting my mother take part in this with me. It's given her a new lease on life too."

"I'm glad." I grinned. "Now that my two favorite girls are happy, I'm happy."

She stared at me so long, I was almost afraid to ask what she was thinking. "I didn't know if we could ever regain what we'd lost, Ryker. I mean, when I asked you to move out, I wasn't even sure I was in love with you anymore. I knew I still loved you and always would because you were the father of my children, but I didn't know whether we could ever recapture that passion we used to have."

It killed me to hear she'd fallen out of love with me, not that I could claim to be surprised. Our relationship had flatlined the last year. There was no other way to describe it.

"But I have fallen in love with you all over again. Even more importantly, I love you more now than I ever have."

"I feel the same way," I said, holding her close. "I didn't even think it was possible to love you more than I did after our kids were born. I thought you'd already given me the ultimate gift. But I was wrong. Giving me a second chance to be your husband has been the ultimate gift."

"We're stronger than we've ever been," she said, linking her hands with mine. "You feel that way too, don't you?"

"Of course, I do."

"Good." She smiled. "Because I want to ask you something."

"What's that?"

Linking her arms around my neck, her eyes shining with un-shed tears, she whispered, "Will you move back home? Please?"

I'd been waiting and praying for this question, but I never expected it this weekend. "Are you serious?" I asked, picking her up and spinning her around. "Yes. Of course I'll move back home, baby."

"I love you," she said, giggling as I buried my face in her neck, tickling her with my whiskers.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"I hate to break this up," Nex said, from the doorway. "But could we grab a few more towels?"

I scowled at him, noting the wet tracks on the slate tile floor. "You could have used the one in your hand to dry off better, dumb ass."

"Oh, leave him alone," Mac said, slapping my chest. "I'll get those towels, Nex."

"Thanks." He grabbed her hand as she walked past, drawing her in for a quick kiss on the cheek.

I knew he flirted with Mac to piss me off, and normally it would have worked, but today I was too happy to let anything or anyone bring me down. Even my annoying kid brother. I was moving back home and that was the only thing that mattered.

When Mac ran upstairs, Nex said, "So, why the smile?"

"Do I have to have a reason to smile?" I asked, crossing the kitchen to get us a couple of beers from the fridge.

I'd had an outdoor kitchen complete with bar, built-in bar, and fridge installed outside, so I knew they'd probably all had their fair share of alcohol by now, but Mac just gave me the best reason to celebrate.

"Let me have it. What did that girl do to make you so goddamn happy?"

I slid a longneck across the solid countertop, watching him twist the cap off before I did the same. "She asked me to move back home." Saying it aloud only made my grin spread until I felt like my face would split in two.

"Goddamn," Nex said, raising his bottle. "That's the best news I've heard in a long time."

Mac yelled in to tell us she was going to take the towels outside, and I waited until I heard her close the door behind her before I allowed Nex to tap his bottle against mine. "I don't have to tell you how long I've been waiting for this, man. For a while there, I started to lose hope."

"I had no doubt you guys would figure things out," Nex said, tipping his bottle back. "You and Mac were meant to be together. You can't just give up on that."

I was surprised to hear Nex, who claimed he didn't believe in love, philosophizing about relationships. "Then why were you trying to fix me up with someone else?"

"To remind you how shitty the dating scene can be."

I clutched my chest and stumbled back dramatically. "Wait a minute. Did I just hear you imply that you're tired of dating?"

He sneered before wrapping a beach towel around his neck. "I know. I never thought I'd hear myself say that either."

"What happened?" I knew something or someone was behind his change of heart.

"You remember that waitress we had at Downlow the other night, Jaci?"

"The cute little blonde?" She wasn't easy to forget, even for a married man whose wife was the only woman he would ever want. "Sure, I remember her. Why?"

"I've been back there every night since, trying to get her to take me seriously."

"And...?"

"She claims she's not interested in dating anyone right now. Says she just started college and wants to have a little fun before she finds a boyfriend."

"And that doesn't sit well with you?" The irony wasn't lost on me. It was usually Nex giving women the "I'm not ready" speech. Seems he was finally learning how it felt to be on the receiving end of that tired old line.

"She's out partying every goddamn night with her friends when she's not working at that hole." He scowled. "It's not right. A girl who looks like that could get herself in a hell of a lot of trouble, drinking too much, partying with the wrong crowd, hanging out in biker bars..."

"From what I saw, she could handle herself just fine." I'd watched her a bit that night, having the same concern Nex did about our rowdy friends and acquaintances giving her a hard time, but she seemed a lot tougher than she looked. "What's her story anyways?"

"She moved here from Arizona for school. The only family she has is her mama, who's apparently a real tough old broad."

"Huh. Sounds a lot like our mom, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Nex sat on the edge of the distressed leather bar stool at the counter. "Apparently, her old man died when she was a baby and she doesn't have any other siblings, so her mama has been pretty overprotective."

"Interesting." I couldn't remember the last time my brother had taken the time to learn so much about a woman's life story.

"And she's taking advantage of her freedom now that she has it 'cause she's been on a short leash for so long."

"Makes sense." I grinned. "You were a hell-raiser yourself in college." I'd busted my butt to help him through college and I was the first one to lecture him when I felt his grades were slipping because he liked to party too much.

"Yeah, but this is different." He drained half the bottle before wiping his mouth and slamming it down on the counter.

"Why's it different?"

"Working in a dive like that, partying like a rock star, and looking like a centerfold? It's a recipe for disaster and you know it."

I couldn't deny that if she were my daughter, I'd be concerned. "How old is she?"

"Twenty-three. She couldn't go to college straight away 'cause she had to save some money first."

That told me she was probably too responsible to blow her chances of getting an education. "Where does she live?"

"She and a few girlfriends rent an old house not far from the bar."

"Ugh. Bad area for four young girls living alone."

"Tell me about it," he said, obviously sensing my concern. "I told her she'd be smarter to live on campus, where security is tighter, but she's not interested in hearing my opinions. She said she got enough of that from her mama."

I could tell there was something different about this girl. It wasn't like Nex to expend precious energy worrying about a girl's safety. "Then maybe you just need to back off."

"She's here all by herself," he said, glaring at the beer bottle. "She doesn't have anyone to look out for her."

"So, what? You're her self-appointed bodyguard?"

"Maybe," he muttered, cursing as he made his way out of the kitchen, still clutching his beer bottle. "What the hell's it to ya?"

Watching him leave, it struck me, my little brother finally seemed to care about someone beyond his family. I only hoped his desire to protect her didn't backfire. The last thing a girl getting her first taste of freedom would want was a man intent on setting a whole new set of rules for her to follow.

***

Long after everyone else had gone to sleep, Mac and I lay in bed, making plans for the future. We'd shared our good news with everyone at dinner, and they were all thrilled for us, especially Zane and Cole, who couldn't wait to have me back home.

"Since we're so busy with work during the week, maybe we should wait until next weekend for you to move back in?" Mac suggested.

I didn't want to wait, but I knew she was right. We were both too busy with work during the week for it to be feasible. "Sounds like a plan. Maybe I'll take Zane and Cole home with me on Friday night and get them to help me pack up my stuff."

"Perfect," she said, tucking the duvet under her chin as she snuggled deeper into my arms.

She was naked, since we'd already made love once, and I wanted her again. "You sure this is what you want, right?" The last thing I wanted was to pressure her.

"Of course I'm sure." She looked at me over her shoulder. "I wouldn't have asked you unless I was. Why? You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

I laughed. "Girl, are you high or what? How can you even ask me that?"

"Good."

I thought about the surprise that would be waiting for Zane when he arrived at my place on Friday. Seb promised me he'd have the car finished by then and would deliver it to my house. The timing was perfect since Zane was scheduled to take his driver's test next week. This would give him the opportunity to take the car out with his driving instructor and get comfortable with it before the test.

"Zane's driving instruction going well?" I was dying to tell her about the surprise I had lined up for our son, but I knew when she saw her dad's car restored, it would be as big of a thrill for her as it would be for our son.

"Yeah." She sighed. "I'm so nervous about him getting his license though. I know how much he wants it, and a few of his friends are already driving, but I just can't help feeling anxious about it."

"That goes with the territory, baby. He's moving on to a new phase in his life. Sure, it's gonna be scary. But Zane is a good kid. He'll be responsible."

"I know. You're right." She twisted my wedding band around my finger. "I know he wants a car of his own right away, but I've been thinking about it some more. Maybe we should hold off on that for a while to make sure he's really ready for the responsibility."

"Uh." I remembered being his age and how much I'd wanted my own set of wheels. It never occurred to me to make Zane wait for a car. "Let's just play it by ear, see what happens."

I had to believe that when Mac saw her dad's car and how much Zane loved it, she would feel differently.

# Chapter Nineteen

Ryker

I'd sneaked away from work on Friday afternoon to meet Seb at my place. I wanted to hide the car in the garage so I could surprise Zane with it. But I was the one surprised when I turned the corner and spotted it.

I knew my brother was a genius when it came to car restoration, but he really outdid himself. And I knew why. This one was personal. He knew how much it would mean to Zane, not to mention Mac and me to see her father's dream realized.

"Wow," I said, whistling softly as I hopped out of my truck and walked across the driveway to shake my brother's hand. "I don't even know what to say. I knew it would look good, but this is..." I walked around the car, shaking my head in disbelief. It was black, the new paint gleaming and off-setting the shiny chrome. Leaning in the open window, I saw that the leather upholstery had been replaced and the dashboard, once missing parts and wearing a layer of dust, was now complete and pristine.

"You like?" he asked, chuckling as he rocked back on his heels. "I had one of my guys drive it over, but I wanted to be here to see the look on your face when you saw it."

"I have to admit, I didn't think you'd be able to get it done on time." Running one of the most sought-after car restoration companies in the country meant clients often had to wait months for Seb and his team to work on their vehicle.

"My word is my bond, you know that."

I was so proud of Sebastian. He'd loved working on cars as a teen, and instead of getting mixed up with petty crime, as so many in our old neighborhood had, he'd gotten a job as an apprentice mechanic, learning everything he could before venturing out on his own. That's when his interest in classic cars became an obsession that would evolve into a multi-million dollar empire.

"I do know that." I smiled at him over the hood of the car. "Mac is gonna be blown away when she sees this, man. Her father would have loved it."

"I'd just wish I'd been able to take this on when Bill was still alive. It would have been nice if he could have enjoyed it."

Seb, like the rest of us, loved and respected Bill. "Yeah, I know what you mean." I tipped my head back, looking up at the cloudless blue sky. "But I'd like to think he's looking down on us, smiling right now."

Seb grinned, pushing his aviator sunglasses back on his head to reveal blue eyes the same shade as mine. "Since when did you become such a philosopher?"

"Since I started to put things into perspective, realizing what's really important in life."

"You mean like your family?"

"Yeah." I circled the car once more, admiring it. "They're the most important thing in my life, Seb. If I didn't know that before, I sure as hell do now."

"Then the last six months weren't for nothing. You learned something, right?"

"You bet I did." I would never waste another day wrapped up in the insignificant crap that usually plagued me, while forgetting to tell my wife how much I loved her.

"Hey, what do you know about this girl Nex is chasin'?" Seb asked.

"The waitress?" I knew if Nex had mentioned it to Seb, it was even more serious than I thought. "I know a bit about her, just what he told me. Why?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. "He's just acting weird. Really distracted, ya know?"

"Yeah, I got the same feeling when we were in a meeting together earlier." As my vice president of operations, he was my right-hand man, and I relied on him for damn near everything. He knew the inner workings of that business as well as I did, and I sure as hell couldn't afford for him to start letting things slide. "You think it's because of Jaci?"

"I'm pretty sure it is."

I was happy my brother was finally taking an interest in one woman, instead of his usual dozen, but I was concerned he could be the one to get his heart broken with this one. "I'll keep an eye on him, try to discourage him from getting in over his head."

"Good idea." Seb tossed me the keys. "Tell my nephew to enjoy this and that I love him, okay?"

"You don't want to be here when I give it to him?"

Seb smiled. "No, that's your moment. I wouldn't want to steal your thunder."

I clasped his hand, pulling him into a half-hug. "Email me the invoice. I'll take care of it online."

"Yeah, yeah, no worries." He pulled out the keys to his classic Corvette, one of many in his collection. "You headed back to work now?"

"Yeah, but I think I might head over to the bakery first, see how the reno's goin'."

"Kruger had no problem moving out early?" he asked, referring to our previous tenant.

"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "He couldn't wait to retire. Apparently, he and the missus bought one of those big-ass RVs and are gonna start cruisin' around in it."

Seb shrugged. "I guess if that's what does it for ya, right?"

"Yeah." I opened the car door, preparing to slip behind the wheel and pull it into the garage. "Thanks again, Seb. The car looks incredible."

"My pleasure. Give your beautiful wife a kiss for me. Oh, and if you need a hand moving your stuff back home this weekend, you know where to find me."

"Will do, thanks."

After securing the car in the garage, I fired off a text to Mac to let her know I was going to pass by to treat her to lunch.

***

Mackenzie

I was so excited for Ryker to see all the progress we'd made. The construction crew had been working long hours, committed to making their deadline so they could move on to their next project. Again, my well-connected husband had called in a favor to get people he trusted on the job in record time, but I was beginning to think of this business as our baby, so I didn't mind accepting his help.

"Wow, would you look at this place," he said, standing in the doorway.

I was proud of the way my vision was coming together. With the help of an interior designer, we'd selected paint color and furniture that would lend to the upscale chic vibe we were going for.

"Come here," I said, reaching for his hand. Before I could lead him farther into the unit, the crew forearm, John, intercepted.

"Hey, Ryker, good to see you," he said, offering his hand. "It's been a while. How's the store working out?"

John's company had built the addition onto Ryker's factory, which now served as their retail store.

"Things are good, John." Ryker smiled at me. "Never better, in fact. Thanks again for working us into your schedule. I know how busy you are this time of year."

"Anything for a friend, you know that." He gestured to me. "Doesn't hurt that your wife knows exactly what she wants. Can't tell you how many of my customers waste time and money changing their minds a dozen times."

I appreciated the fact that John thought I had it all together, even if there were days when I felt like I was juggling a dozen balls that were about to come crashing down on my head. "You're sweet to say that," I said, linking my arm through John's.

Ryker glanced at our joined arms, frowning slightly.

John was a couple of years younger than Ryker, recently divorced, with twin girls in the second grade. He was a sweet guy, but I couldn't believe my husband could still be jealous of anyone given how much I loved him.

"Come on in the back, babe," I said, reaching for Ryker's hand. "I want to show you the kitchen. We're still waiting on the appliances, but you'll get a sense of what it'll look like."

"Yeah, sure," he said, taking my outstretched hand. "I'll catch up with you before I leave, John."

I waited until we were alone in the kitchen before I asked, "What was that about?"

"What?"

"That look you gave us when I took John's arm. You're not jealous of him, are you?"

He raised one broad shoulder before breaking eye contact. "We've been apart for a long time, Mac. In my heart I know it's stupid to be jealous, but my head is having a hard time catching up."

"You have nothing to worry about," I assured him, linking my arms around his neck. "I. Love. You. I don't want anyone else."

He inhaled deeply, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I believe you. I do. It's just gonna take me a while to shake this damn insecurity. We were rock solid, Mac. Or so I thought. I didn't think anyone or anything could shake what we had. But I was wrong. We weren't as solid as I thought we were. And I guess there's just a part of me that's afraid of misreading the signals again."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, curling my hands around his jaw. "You know how I feel about you, Ryker."

"I thought I knew how you felt about me before too. Turns out I was wrong."

I did not see this coming. Just when I thought we were putting the past behind us, it reared its ugly head again, making me wonder if we would ever be able to move past our separation and the effect it had on us.

"What can I say or do to make you believe in us again?" Since I was the one who asked him to move out and admitted I wasn't sure if I'd still loved him when I did, I knew I had to meet him more than halfway.

"I do believe in us." He hung his head. "I'm sorry. I don't know where the hell this is coming from. I walked in here feeling good, great, in fact. Then I saw you and it just triggered all these feelings of jealousy and insecurity again."

I guess I should be grateful he cared. Used to be we'd go to an event together and Ryker wouldn't care if I danced with another man all night, so long as he didn't have to dance.

"I know it'll take some time," I said gently. "We're not going to be able to rebuild our relationship overnight, but I feel like we're in a really good place, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"Hello?" Molly called out.

"Damn, I forgot she was coming by today. We were going to grab a quick lunch. You want to join us?"

"I didn't realize how late is was. I should be getting back to work."

I hated that there still seemed to be a gulf between us and I didn't know how to bridge it. "Are we okay?"

"Yeah." He leaned in to kiss my cheek before giving me a half-smile. "Sure we are. I'll be by on Sunday with my stuff. If that's okay?"

"Of course, it is." I knew I was probably being paranoid, but he didn't seem as thrilled as he had been about coming home.

"There you are," Molly said, passing through the swinging door. "John said I'd find you guys back here." She looked back and forth between us. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, not all," Ryker said. "I was just heading out."

"Call me later?" I asked, when he reached the door.

"Sure. Later, Molly."

"Later, Ryker." She peeked over the door to make sure he was gone before she asked, "Why'd he seem so tense?"

"I wish I knew." I sighed, thinking how tired I was of this dance. One step forward, two steps back. "He said something about still being jealous and insecure. I don't know what the hell that's about, Mol. I've done everything I can to put his mind at ease."

"It's because you look so damn hot," she said, gesturing to my faded, cut-off jeans shorts, pink tank top, and steel-toed pink work boots.

Yes, I had to wear steel-toed boots if I wanted to be on site because John told me he wouldn't be held responsible if something fell on my foot on his job site. I was supposed to wear the hard hat he'd provided too, but now that we were nearing the finishing stage, I could usually get away without it.

"That's ridiculous." Now I was beginning to question my choice of attire. Had it bothered him, knowing I was hanging out with a bunch of construction workers all day? "It's hot as hell out there today. What was I supposed to wear?"

"He's just not used to seeing you dress like that."

It's true I'd been a lot more conservative before, mainly because I was trying to conceal the extra pounds. Now that I'd shed them, I dressed for the weather without giving it much thought. It was liberating for me, but maybe my husband didn't see it that way.

"You don't think he thought I was dressing like this for those guys, do you?" I said, lowering my voice.

"I'm sure the thought crossed his mind. And I'm sorry, Mac, but you can't really blame him. I've been in here before. Those guys practically salivate over you when your back is turned. Maybe Ryker saw that too."

"They do not." Did they? How the hell would I know if they did it behind my back? "Um, could you give me a few minutes, Mol?"

"You want to call Ryker, don't you?"

"Yeah. I don't feel good about the way we left things."

"No problem. I'll just go and check out that new boutique across the street. Come over when you're done."

"Sure." I had to get my flip-flops out of the trunk of my car anyhow. Thankfully they were painting today so my clothes weren't covered in a layer of dust the way they had been when they were repairing and sanding the walls.

I waited until Molly left before I dialed Ryker's cell. He answered on the second ring. "Sorry to bother you, but can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Were you bothered by the way I was dressed?"

He hesitated a minute before he said, "Jesus, Mac..."

"You were, weren't you?" I didn't know whether to be flattered or offended. "I don't believe this."

"Goddammit, it just took me back to when we were kids and you used to have guys ogling you all the time."

Okay, now I was offended. Had it been that long since men were attracted to me?

"You got pregnant soon after we got married, and I guess that just made me feel more secure in our relationship. Like you weren't going anywhere, even if you did find someone better, 'cause we had--"

"Hold on a minute," I said, unable to believe what I was hearing. "You were worried I'd find someone better?" I flashed back to all of those trade shows we used to go to when I was the one jealous of all those models who couldn't take their eyes off my sexy husband. "You can't be serious."

"I am serious." He sighed. "You don't think my buddies reminded me every damn day that you were too good for me, that it would only be a matter of time before you traded up?"

I knew guys liked to trash talk, especially Ryker's rowdy friends, but I couldn't believe he'd actually listened to them.

"I guess walking in there today, seeing the way those guys kept sneaking glances at you when they thought no one was looking, just reminded me how easy it would be for you to find someone else. You kicked me out once before. How do I know you won't do it again?"

I sank down on a stool at the stainless steel counter in the middle of the open kitchen. "I can't believe what I'm hearing right now. You think there's anyone who could take me away from you? You're the love of my life, the father of my children. Hell, you're my best friend. I need you, Ryker."

His voice was rough when he exhaled slowly and said, "I just needed to hear you say that."

"Then you believe me?" He had to believe me. I couldn't stand it if I thought there were lingering doubts between us when I was one hundred and ten percent committed to him and our marriage.

"I believe you."

"I love you."

"Me too, baby. Me too."

# Chapter Twenty

Ryker

I felt so much better after my talk with Mac, which meant I could truly enjoy the surprise I was about to spring on our son. I couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he saw the car.

We made our way through the house before I said, "Uh, Zane, I'm going to trim up those bushes in the backyard. Can you grab me the shears in the garage?"

"Sure."

Cole was headed to his room to drop his stuff when I said to him, "Hold up a minute, kid."

I knew giving Zane a cool car would mean his brother would expect one too, but I could live with it. Granted, it wouldn't have the sentimental link to his grandfather that Zane's would, but I'd make sure it was special nonetheless.

"Holy shit, Dad," Zane said, rushing back into the house without the shears. "Where'd that car come from? It looks just like Granddad's old car, but way better." He looked at his brother. "Cole, man, you gotta see Dad's sweet new ride."

"Actually, it's not mine," I said, fisting the key ring in my hand.

"It's not?" Zane asked, looking deflated. "You mean it's Uncle Seb's? Why'd he leave it here? He has plenty of room at his place."

"It's not Uncle Seb's either."

I tried to contain my smile, but it was hopeless. By the time I tossed him the keys, I was grinning ear to ear. Being able to do something like this for him was one of the best moments of my life. I remembered how I'd felt when I was his age, how bad I wanted my own set of wheels, but couldn't afford them.

"It's yours. Your grandfather's, actually. I had Uncle Seb restore it for you."

"No. Way!"

I had a flashback to all those Christmas mornings when he and his brother had been tearing into the gifts Santa brought, anxious to find out whether they'd received everything on their wish list. Those were days I'd never get back. There was very little I could do for them now that they were on the verge of becoming men. But this was something I could do for them.

"Oh my God, Dad," he said, rushing me. "This is awesome! This is, like, the best."

I laughed when he tackled me, throwing his arms around me like he hadn't done in years.

"I can't believe you did this! Wait 'til my friends see it."

"Slow down," I said, chuckling as I held him at arm's length. "There are some rules. I don't want you driving it without me until you get your license."

"Yeah, but I go for the test next week."

"I know you do. One other thing, I don't want you to tell your mom about this."

"Why not?" Cole asked.

"I want it to be a surprise. You know how much your granddad loved this car. I think it'll mean a lot to her that I had it restored for you. We'll take it over there on Sunday with the rest of my things."

"Okay, cool," Zane said, grinning. "Can we take it out for a spin now, Dad? Please?"

"Sure." I remembered how I'd felt when I finally got my first set of wheels. I couldn't wait to get behind the wheel. "We'll grab a pizza on the way back. Hey," I said, gripping his shoulder as he headed toward the door, "you have another driving lesson tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You should probably take your car, get used to driving it before the test."

"Sweet."

I wrapped my arm around Cole's neck. I could sense he was a little dejected. "Don't worry, kid. Your time's coming."

"Can I get a motorcycle?" he asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. "A custom one?"

I laughed, thinking Mac would kill me if I said yes to that. "We'll see."

***

After taking the car out for a spin and grabbing a pizza, we all agreed to turn in early since we were going to be packing up the house tomorrow. I intended to keep the house and rent it out, fully furnished, so I was just taking my personal effects with me, but even packing that would take the better part of the day.

I was sound asleep when my cell phone rang. A quick glance at the alarm clock told me it was an unknown caller... at three o'clock in the morning? What the hell?

"Hello."

"Ryker, thank God I caught you. It's Dan. We just got a call. Brit and Zane have been in a car accident. Mac's on her way to the hospital already, and we're just leaving now. Can you meet us there?"

I shot up in bed. "Wait a minute. What the hell are you talking about?" As far as I knew, Zane was sound asleep in his bed.

"I don't know how it happened. The hospital just called. We have to get over there. Now!"

I could hear the ding of the car door opening as I jumped out of bed. "Was it serious?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

"Dan, who was driving?" As if I didn't know.

"It must have been Zane. Brit doesn't even have her learner's permit yet. She was going to get it this summer."

"I didn't think they were still seeing each other."

I knew that wasn't even relevant right now, but I was still trying to wrap my head around how this had happened. How I'd let it happen. If something happened to our son, Mac would never forgive me. I'd handed him the keys to that car. Maybe it was stupid, too much temptation for a kid his age, who was hungry for his first taste of freedom. But Zane was a good kid. I was so sure I could trust him.

"I didn't either. But you know how teenagers are, Ryker. They lie to their parents. They sneak around."

"Yeah." I sure as hell had when I was Zane's age, which should have made me too savvy to let something like this happen to my own son.

"Is your truck missing?" Dan asked. "I assume that's what he was driving?"

"Uh, no, I don't think so." I couldn't tell Dan I'd given him the keys to his very own car that night. I knew it would come out eventually, but I needed time to process what had happened before I admitted my mistake. "There was another car here. He must have taken that."

"Oh, okay. Well we're on our way to the hospital. We'll see you there."

I wanted to know why Mac hadn't been the one to call me as soon as she got the call from the hospital, but I knew I would get my answers soon enough. As would she. I just hoped when she found out about the part I'd played in this, she wouldn't hate me.

***

Cole and I rushed into the waiting room on the third floor, where the front desk receptionist had directed us. Mac was sitting next to Dan's wife, talking quietly, when we approached.

"Hey," I said. "How are the kids?"

Mac stood up, reaching for me. "God, Ryker. How the hell did this happen? It doesn't make any sense. He must have been driving someone else's car. You don't think he stole it, do you?"

My gut twisted painfully at the secret I would now have to share. "Are they going to be okay?" I asked Nancy, Dan's wife, as I put my arm around Mac's shoulders and drew her into my side. "Please tell me it's not serious."

"It's not, thank God," Nancy said, flattening her hand against her chest. "Cuts and bruises mainly, but Zane has a couple of broken ribs. I imagine that will keep him out of commission for a while."

I was sure she meant out of trouble. I would never wish pain on my own kid, but maybe his being incapacitated meant we'd be able to keep an eye on him until we figured out what the hell was going on with him. It wasn't like him to lie and sneak around behind our backs, and I had to know whether this thing with Brittany was an isolated incident or a disturbing pattern that was developing.

"Were there any other cars involved in the accident?" I asked.

"No, thank God." Nancy shook her head. "When Dan called you about finding Zane with Brit at our place, we honestly thought that was the end of it. Obviously, we were wrong."

"Wait a minute," Mac said, raising her hand. "You found the kids together? When? What were they doing?"

Nancy shot a guilty look in my direction when Mac stepped out of my arms, putting some distance between us.

Before I could explain, Nex walked into the waiting room. I'd called him on the way and asked him to spread the word to our brothers, mainly because I needed a little reassurance that everything was going to be fine and I hadn't just made the biggest mistake of my life, giving our son a car without telling Mac.

"Hey," Nex said, giving Mac a hug before shaking my hand. "How are they?"

"You didn't have to come, Nex," I said. "I told you I'd call as soon as I found out what was going on."

"Screw that," Nex said, putting an arm around Cole's neck. "I wanted to be here. How are they?"

"They're gonna be okay," I assured him. "Just banged up a little."

"Thank God," Nex said, raking a hand through his hair.

"You guys hang out here," I said to Cole and Nex. "I'm going to take Mac outside for some fresh air." I needed to explain this to her without an audience, in case she started screaming or crying or hitting me.

"Yeah sure, take your time," Nex said. "I'll text you if the doctors want to talk to you."

"I think it'll be a while before we can go in to see them," Nancy said. "They're still patching them up and taking X-rays to make sure they didn't miss anything with their preliminary examination. Dan just went down to the cafeteria to get us some coffee." Holding up her phone, she said, "You guys want anything? I can text him."

"No, thanks," we said in unison.

"We'll be back in a few," I said to them, linking my hand through Mac's. She was tense, angry, but at least she didn't try to pull away. I assumed that meant she was at least willing to listen to my side of the story before she condemned me.

She was silent on the elevator and the short walk through the corridor, but as soon as we were outside, she asked, "What the hell was Nancy talking about? When did they find Zane with Brittany? And why didn't you tell me?"

I walked her over to an isolated bench on a grassy patch away from the Emergency Room doors, where we would have some privacy. After we sat facing each other, I reached for her hands. "Dan called me the night you and I got into it, after you left my place. You were already upset, so I didn't want to bother you with it. I talked to Zane about it the next day, and I honestly didn't think it would be a problem."

She pulled her hands from mine, inching back on the bench. "What the hell were they doing when Dan and Nancy walked in on them? Please tell me they weren't having sex. They're way too young for that."

Mac may have been too young for that at sixteen, but I hadn't been. I didn't think this was the right time to remind her I'd been sexually active at their age, especially since I happened to agree with her. Emotionally, they weren't ready for this kind of commitment, even if their raging hormones sent them a different message.

"They were just messing around, I think."

"You think?" she asked, sounding outraged. "Ryker, we can't afford to be complacent about this. What the hell happens if he gets some girl pregnant? What about his plans for college and his future?"

I didn't think Zane was irresponsible enough to let something like that happen, but I never would have imagined he'd take the car out without a driver's license, either. I didn't even want to think about what the ramifications of that mistake would be.

"Dan said they came home before..." I couldn't even look Mac in the eye. I could tell she was furious with me. She was his mother. She had every right to know about this, and I'd kept her in the dark. Maybe if I had told her, we possibly could have prevented this fiasco from happening tonight.

"I don't believe this," she said, resting her forehead on her upturned palms. "I knew he was over there a lot, but usually with Cole, and always when Nancy or Dan were home. I wouldn't have let him go over there if I'd known they were alone."

"You weren't home. You couldn't have known what they were up to."

"No, I wasn't home," she said, glaring at me. "But I should have been. Look at the kind of trouble he gets into when I'm not watching him."

"Come on, Mac," I said, resting my hand on her back. "He's sixteen. We can't watch him every minute of every day. We have to trust him."

"Trust him?" she asked, sounding slightly hysterical. "After the stunt he pulled tonight, you want me to trust him?"

Seb pulled up to the curb in front of the bench, even though it was a No Parking zone, and hopped out. "Hey, Nex called me. How're the kids?"

"They're gonna be okay." I loved the way my brothers all rallied when one of us was in trouble, but right now, I just needed some time alone with Mac, to explain and beg forgiveness.

"Jesus, I can't believe this," Seb said, scraping his hands over his face. "I felt terrible when Nex called. If I hadn't delivered the car today, maybe--"

"The car?" Mac asked.

"Yeah." Seb grabbed her hand. "I know the fact that he was driving your dad's car only makes this worse, hon. If I can piece it back together, I will. I know how much it means to you and your mom."

"Wait a minute," Mac said, shaking her head. "What are you talking about?"

Seb dropped her hand. "He, uh, wasn't driving your dad's old Mustang tonight?"

"He couldn't have been." Mac rubbed her eyebrow as though she was trying to ward off some pain. "That car barely runs. Besides, how...?"

"Seb," I said, shooting him a look. "Can we have a minute? I need to explain this to Mac."

"Sure." He raised his palms, mouthing "Sorry" before he jumped back in the car and drove away, presumably to find a legal parking spot.

"Please," Mac said, clutching her chest as she bent over. "Please tell me you did not give our sixteen-year-old son a car without talking to me first."

"I wanted it to be a surprise." Judging by her expression, it was the worst kind of surprise. "I knew how much Bill loved that car. I had Seb restore it so it looks brand-new." It looked brand-new. I had no idea whether it would even be salvageable now. God, what a mess.

"My mother knew about this?" she asked, sounding horrified. "She was in on this?"

"Yeah, but don't blame her. I asked her to keep it a secret so we could surprise you. I thought you'd love seeing your dad's old car looking the way he would have wanted it to." I almost wished I'd taken pictures that afternoon in case she would never have the opportunity to see it looking like that again.

"I would have. But you had no right to give our son a car without talking to me first."

"You're right. I'm sorry." There was no way to spin this so I came out looking innocent. I hadn't intended for anyone to get hurt, but they had, and I couldn't take it back. "If I had it to do all over again, I'd do things differently, believe me."

"Really? Would you have told me about Dan finding Brit and Zane together?"

"I told you why I kept that to myself, baby. I--"

She stood. "That's just it, Ryker. For this to work, you can't keep things that affect our family to yourself. You need to treat me as your equal, not some clueless little twit who needs to be protected from all the things she can't handle. It's insulting, and I resent it."

I jumped up, reaching for her wrist when she walked away. "I'm sorry, about everything. Don't let this come between us. Please."

She looked at me as though she didn't even know me, the frown drawing lines between her arched brows. "I wasn't the one who drove this wedge between us, Ryker. You were. Now kindly leave so I can take our son home to recuperate."

Nex texted me, letting me know the police were inside and wanted to talk to us. "I'm not going anywhere." She could tell me to stay the hell away from her and I would have no choice but to respect that, but no one, not even Mac, could keep me away from my son.

# Chapter Twenty-One

Mackenzie

I was so physically and emotionally exhausted, I barely registered the questions the police were asking Zane. Thankfully, Ryker was there to step in when need be. In spite of the fact I asked him to leave, I was glad he'd stayed. He'd always been the voice of calm and reason in the face of tragedy or turmoil, and I needed his quiet strength tonight.

The police treated him with respect, which didn't surprise me. Everyone treated Ryker with respect. They told us Zane would face a fine and would be unable to get a driver's licence for some time, which after this stunt, seemed like a reasonable punishment to me. They said he could even be looking at community service, depending on the judge. The car had been impounded, and Ryker would likely face fines as well since the car and insurance had been in his name.

"Thank you, officers," Ryker said, shaking hands with both of them as he walked them to the door of Zane's hospital room. "Needless to say, we'll be keeping a tight rein on him for the foreseeable future." He shot a scathing look at Zane, almost making me feel sorry for him. Almost.

Once the police were gone, Ryker turned to face Zane, his hands on his hips, his face drawn tight with anger and frustration. "What the hell were you thinking, taking that car out without a license?"

Zane winced as he shifted in the bed, trying to find a position that would ease the pain. The mother in me wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, but the disciplinarian in me wanted to throttle him for being so reckless.

"I'm sorry," Zane said, closing his eyes. "I know it was stupid. It was just supposed to be for an hour or so. Brit and I were gonna grab a bite--"

"I thought you weren't seeing that girl anymore. Don't you care that she has a boyfriend?" Ryker demanded.

Again, news to me. The surprises just wouldn't stop coming. I felt like my son and husband had some sort of secret life going on and I hadn't earned the right to be a part of it. It felt like a slap in the face after all the years we'd preached about the importance of honesty in our home.

"She dumped him," Zane insisted, his eyes opening as he stared at his father, daring Ryker to challenge his assertion.

"You believe that?" Ryker asked, rolling his eyes. "How do you know she's not playing you again?"

"I don't think that's really relevant right now," I said, cutting in. I couldn't believe they were discussing Zane's love life when we clearly had more pressing problems to deal with. "You broke the law tonight, Zane."

"I know." He exhaled slowly, clearly struggling just to breathe through the discomfort. "I was an idiot. I made a stupid mistake, and I'm gonna pay for it. I get that."

"You sure as hell are," Ryker said, pacing back and forth. Given the small room and his long strides, he couldn't go far.

"I'm sorry about the car," he said, looking from me to Ryker and back again.

I was tempted to say it was just a car, that the important thing was that he and Brittany were okay. Of course that was the most important thing. But I couldn't deny my heart hurt at the thought of our last link to my father being gone because of my son's carelessness.

"Let's just hope Uncle Seb can work his magic on it," Ryker said, glancing at me. "I'm sorry about the car too, Mac. If I'd known there was even a chance he could be this irresponsible, I never would have given it to him. I feel terrible about this."

I knew he did, but there was so much to think about, so much to process, and I just couldn't deal with it tonight.

"Don't blame Dad," Zane pleaded. "This was all my fault." When I broke eye contact with Ryker, Zane asked, "Did I screw everything up? Are you guys not gonna get back together now, because of me?"

I didn't want to add to Zane's distress. He already had enough on his plate. "How many times have we told you that honesty is the most important thing?" I asked, stepping closer to his bed. I set my hand against his forehead, just like I used to when he was little and I was testing for a fever. "Without trust, we have nothing."

"Yeah," Ryker said, his voice raspy. "Your mom trusted me to be honest with her, and I wasn't. That's on me."

I knew Ryker could have tried to defend himself again, to remind me that the car was to have been a surprise or he was only trying to protect me by not telling me about Zane and Brittany. I was glad he didn't make that mistake again. If he had, I may have exploded.

"You're willing to forgive me, right?" Zane asked, his blue eyes pleading for understanding.

"Of course I am," I said, sighing. "You're my son."

"If you're willing to forgive me for my bonehead mistake, why can't you forgive Dad?"

I knew how excited both Zane and Cole were about their dad moving back home, and as much as I hated the thought of disappointing them, I refused to be coerced while I still had reservations.

"This isn't about forgiveness," I said, knowing anything I said now would fall on deaf ears.

"Right," Ryker said. "It's about trust. It's about honesty. Your mom has every right to be upset with me, Zane. If you guys want to be angry with someone, be angry with me. I screwed everything up."

"No, you didn't!" Zane grabbed his left side when his ribs protested. "I screwed up. I did this. I messed around with Brit and asked you not to tell Mom about it. I took the car out and smashed it up."

Zane asked his dad not to tell me about Dan's call? Interesting. It didn't excuse the fact that Ryker had kept it to himself, but it did shed more light on the situation.

"We're not getting anywhere with this," Ryker said, raking a hand through his hair. "We all need to just take some time and regroup."

I was grateful that he understood I needed time to process what happened and seemed willing to give it to me. If he'd tried to push me, I would have pushed him away.

"I'll take Cole home with me," Ryker said. "If that's okay, Mac?"

"It's okay." According to the doctors, Zane would be able to go home as soon as the X-rays came back and they'd cleared him.

"I'll call to check on you tomorrow," Ryker said to Zane.

"Dad, I'm sorry," he said, meeting his father's dejected gaze.

"Yeah, so am I," Ryker said before walking out. "So am I."

***

Zane spent most of the weekend in his room, mad at himself, mad at me, mad at the world. So when Sunday evening rolled around and Ryker was due to bring Cole back, I waited in the backyard for him, where I knew we would have some privacy.

I heard his footsteps on the patio stones behind me, so I set my e-reader aside, and looked up at him.

"I just went up to check on Zane. He said I could find you out here." He sat down on the edge of the lounger next to me, linking his hands between his knees as he dropped his head. "All weekend I've been thinking about what I did, what I wanted to say to you, how I could fix this mess, and I just keep coming back to the same thing: I'm sorry."

"I know you are." I knew Ryker would never intentionally do anything to hurt me or our kids. He may have been misguided, but I believed his reasoning supported his actions. "If you'd known Zane would have done something so stupid, you never would have given him that car."

"I should have talked to you about it first. It was a decision we should have made together. I just kept imagining the look on your face when you saw your dad's car brought back to life. I wasn't just doing this for Zane. I was doing it for you, for your mom, hell, to honor Bill's memory."

He rubbed his eyes, and I suddenly noticed how tired he looked. I'd be surprised if he'd managed to steal a few hours of sleep since he got that call about the accident. "I know that." I reached for his hand. "I know how much you loved my father. I think it was a sweet gesture."

"For what it's worth, we picked the car up from the impound yard and Seb said he can fix it. Turns out the damage wasn't as bad as we'd feared."

"That's good." It was a small consolation since the rest of my life was still hanging in the balance. I knew what I'd been thinking and feeling all weekend, but I didn't know how Ryker wanted to proceed.

"You should keep the car," Ryker said. "When it's fixed up, I want you to have it. It'll be a long while before Zane can get his license anyhow, and when he does, it might be best to make him work for a set of wheels the way I had to. Maybe teach him a lesson."

"That's not a bad idea." I was touched that he wanted me to have my father's car, but the gnawing ache in my chest made me wonder why he hadn't said he wanted us to keep the car.

"Yeah, I thought giving them the things I didn't have growing up was a blessing, but after this, I'm starting to wonder if it's a curse. Not having the basics growing up only made me want to work harder to be successful. If we give them everything they want or need, maybe they won't be as hungry, ya know?"

"You might be right." I knew this was an important conversation, but I couldn't help but feel we were avoiding the real issue. Our marriage.

"One thing we always had was trust," Ryker said, looking at me. "I broke that trust. I made you question me, us... hell, I made you question everything."

I had felt that way at the hospital, but I'd had a lot of time to think since then. "I'm not going to run the bakery."

"What are you talking about?" Ryker asked, looking stunned. "You can't give that up. It was your dream."

"Having a family with you was my dream," I said softly. "That's more important to me."

His eyes softened when he grabbed my hand. "But, baby--"

"I'll still help my mom with it, work part-time, be a silent partner, but the boys still need me. What happened with Zane just reinforced that. These next few years will be important ones for them. If we're not paying attention, they could get into a lot of trouble."

"I know you're right." He brought my hands to his mouth, clasping my fist between both of his hands before kissing it. "But it's not fair you should have to sacrifice so much."

"I'm not sacrificing anything. I have everything I want. Or at least I will..." I was scared to death Ryker would tell me he'd changed his mind about moving back in, but I had to put it out there before my fears rendered me speechless. "When you come back home."

He closed his eyes before dropping his head and clenching my hand. "You still want me to come back home?"

"Of course I do." I needed to feel his arms around me, the assurance that in spite of everything we'd been through, we would be okay. "Tell me you want that too."

"You know I do." He moved to the edge of my lounger, pulling me into his arms. "I was so scared. I thought I was going to lose everything."

I was touched that Ryker thought losing me and the ability to be a full-time dad represented everything to him, especially since he had so much more to lose. But I wasn't surprised. Family had always been the most important thing to him. More important than money and fame, more important than wealth and material possessions. More important than success. And that's why I loved him so much. Because even after years of struggling to be a better man, he was still the same man I'd fallen in love with all those years ago, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

"You still have me," I whispered in his ear.

"Then I have everything I need."

# About the Author

Want to be the first to learn about Cheryl's new releases, get exclusive free stories, and the chance to win cool prizes?

Sign up for her newsletter

To learn more about Cheryl visit www.cheryldouglasbooks.com

To comment on this book or ask the author a question you can email her at:

info@cheryldouglasbooks.com

You can also visit Cheryl on Facebook or Twitter:

www.facebook.com/cheryldouglasbooks

Twitter: CherylDouglasNN

Please consider leaving a review for this book or other books in the series.

Thank You

# Other Books by Cheryl Douglas

Now Available

Nashville Nights

Shameless

Fearless

Ruthless

Reckless

Relentless

Heartless

Hopeless

Careless

Nashville Nights Next Generation

High Stakes

Trade Off

Holiday Homecoming

Game On

Burn Out

Fast Track

Time Out

Face Value

Blown Away

Breathless

Imagine

Starting Over (Single Title)

Music City Moguls

Stone Cold

Envious

Forbidden

Haunted

Jaded

Hero Worship

Texas Titans

Strike Out

End Zone

First Down

Cheap Shot

Fast Break (Holiday Novella)

Wild Card

Free Agent

Going For It

Possession

Starkis Family

Deacon

Damon

Tiana

Kara (Coming Soon)

Darius (Coming Soon)

Catia (Coming Soon)

# Coming Soon...

