

EVERY WOMAN'S NIGHTMARE

AFFLICTIONS OF THE HEART

M.J. ANDREWS
EVERY WOMAN'S NIGHTMARE

Copyright © 2014 by M.J. ANDREWS

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.

Dedicated To All Women

Who Are Playing All Roles

Father, Mother,

Husband, Wife,

Caregiver and Provider

Acknowledgments

I want to thank God for guiding me and giving me the inspiration to write this book. Without God, I would be in a world of darkness. To my children Dominique, Jacqueline, Ramel, Ra-tek and Ra-shan thank you for giving me time and space to write, and do my heart's desire. Thanks to my sisters in Christ, Kim for standing by me through everything. Aleasia, for your support, countless draft reading, and keeping me motivated in my darkest moments love you. Tonya and Bianca thanks for your support, friendship, and encouragement. Thank you for believing in me, my writing, and sticking with me every step of the way. This project could not become a reality without all of you.

Thank You

Much Love

M.J.A
Table of Contents

References

Journal Entry One

Journal Entry Two

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

About the Author
References

Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Journal Entry 1

Research says writing your thoughts provides insight, clarity, creativity, and helps sort out emotions. Opens doors to forgive wrongs, find forgiveness, understanding, and hope within boundless uncertainties. It can facilitate in assessing reactions, and discover problem-solving methods. Therefore, considering the individuals that toiled trouble over the years. My emotions and reactions towards them are justifiable. Dealing with Elliott's manipulative behavior and his family's diabolical craftiness, I handled things amicably.

Despite the positive aspects, writing does help me connect with myself, and ask questions I never considered in the past. For one, will I ever understand the art of manipulation, or the reasoning behind disrespect in relationships? What is true happiness or true love? Am I the creator of my own misfortunes or did misfortunes choose me? God gave us the definition of love. In that case, why so much betrayal, abuse, dishonesty, and disrespect in relationships? Why do people expect others to tolerate such treatment? Why get married, or form relationships if you intend to treat individuals in such a deceitful manner? Are we so selfish to conceive it's acceptable to treat one another this way? For God did not propose for us to live in such a manner. Nevertheless we continue to dishonor, and deceive each other. Is manipulation a fun sick twisted game worth playing? Is it worth the mental and physical abuse, or reaping what you sow? These are questions I muse on trying to figure out if everything was my fault, or am I paying the price for Elliott's insecurities.
Journal Entry 2

So much has been going on I told Elliott I'm filing for divorce. Elliott tried to justify his cheating and deceitfulness. This time I stood my ground, and told him, I endured enough. Surprisingly he left without fighting now I can sit in a quiet and peaceful house. The separation has done wonders for my mental state. Locks, and alarm codes changed. House is clean no drinking or constant company. Elliott can no longer walk in whenever he wants and no more Lucy thank God. Now Elliott can do whatever his heart desires. I have an appointment next week to file our divorce papers, and I'm finished with Elliott forever.
Chapter One

It is a warm sunny day in Barton Hills. The bird's singing, trees, and flowers are blooming, families enjoying picnic's, and bike rides along the creek. As for myself, I am here in Gilmore funeral home the last place I expected to find myself. Sitting, waiting, and pondering on loss, misery, and trials I endured during my marriage. Now, I am here dealing with death and organizing his funeral. In spite of my mental state of despair, confusion, and uncertainties, part of me cannot help feeling alleviated that our trails have ended.

Planning this funeral is painful, stressful, and complicated. The displeasure of choosing flowers, funeral pamphlets, whether to buy a casket or urn, and cook. Ugh! Lord, please help me at least find the right location the stress from that alone is overwhelming. Shelia and I put together a list of a dozen funeral locations. We visited six, and thus far, all are inadequate for the funeral. There is no time to grieve or regret the past only the sentiments of stress, and mixed emotions linger within me. Functioning off three hours of sleep, plus his family calling every hour is not helping my mental state. I wanted to scream! Yet God's still voice kept telling me to relax. Keep my composure, respect. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Be still he is in control. However, my dysfunctional relationship with Elliott's family makes God's counsel challenging. Thank the Lord for Sheila without her; I could not arrange this funeral in my state. I still wish Gina, and Izzy was here their added support would make things easier to handle and keep me from focusing on life's misfortunes. Moreover, Gina's patience level is much higher a trait I wished Shelia possessed. Gina can handle the senseless antics from the Pennington's, and keep incidents from escalating. For Sheila's, tolerance level for Elliott's family dipped to a fine low. Our last family gathering ended with Elliott's sister Charlene receiving fifteen stitches, and a reminder not to mess with Sheila or her family. Izzy can drift either way; she will joke, even take a wisecrack. Hit a nerve be ready to defend yourself because Izzy is coming out swinging. Yeah, oh how I wish they were here. I laugh while recalling our younger years, and the good times we shared. Now, Gina married yet heading toward divorce. Izzy, well we will say she is finding her place in the world. I dare not mention what I been through these past couple of years they would go mental. Besides, they have their own drama no reason to bother them with mine.

Drama, a word I presumed I understood. Recalling the past makes me realize life was easy back then. Crazy stupid arguments, fights, high school dances, boyfriends, girlfriends, real friends, jocks, along with the not so popular. Remembering it makes me laugh, also conscious of how we take people and little things for granted. As I hark back, I wondered how, when did I come to this present fork in the road? When did I become enticed by my own desires and lured away from my first love? I sigh with discouragement, while brooding over my trials. In those moments, my memory struggled to remember scripture verses to keep hope. I tried to listen for God's voice of encouragement. Instead, the voice of rage filled my mind. A sense of loneliness, fear, and brokenness plagued inside. It felt as if God abandoned me in my world of turmoil. On several occurrences I cried out; God where are you. Why am I going through this craziness? My heart is heavy and my mind-clouded by all my negative trials. Suddenly, scripture flooded the gates of my mind like an ocean tide. Submerging it as if God was talking to me face-to-face telling me he has never forsaken me. Giving me scripture to understand the significance of trials and how, all things work together for his glory.

While I reflect, Shelia enters the lounge area. "Layla the coordinator is ready." I looked up and stared at Sheila she looks fantastic. I remember when I looked like that. She was in her late thirties, stood at five feet four inches, a brown sugar complexion, dark brown eyes, short haircut, and a great figure. She is a business consultant and enjoys coordinating events. Her outer facade expressed I am strong, healthy, and stable. On the other hand, one conversation with her you will perceive the resentment, and bitterness Shelia holds within her heart. After a long trying relationship, her boyfriend betrayed her; and took everything. He took the cash out of their joint account, furniture including the pearls her great-grandmother left her, and married another woman. Since then Shelia has not dated nor shown interest in having male friends. Her sole interests are the business, her dog coco, and being a second mother to Nicole, and Daniel. I don't mind the kids adore her moreover; she loves them as if they were her own children. In such times of afflictions, I would tell her to pray, and turn to God. Except I likewise need someone to remind me of God's grace. Shelia snaps me out of my stupor. "Layla you okay?" "Yeah, let's finish this and go home."

As we headed toward the conference room, Shelia cell rings. Ugh, it's Lucy Elliott's mother calling again. "Hello Layla," Lucy says in a sarcastic tone. "No sorry Mrs. Pennington its Shelia." "Oh, where is Layla?" "Layla is talking with the funeral coordinator." "Oh, well I need the funeral information." "Mrs. Pennington we are still looking hoping to find a location by end of the day." Lucy sucks her teeth. "I don't understand. What is the problem? If I was taking care of the arrangements, it would be completed unless you two are seeking a cheap location." Shelia was astounded. "No, Mrs. Pennington that is not the case." "Well, you tell her not to be cheap and Charlene is writing the eulogy. I don't want a stranger writing in regards of my son." Shelia face went blank she took a deep breath and exhaled to avoid saying something she would regret. "Mrs. Pennington I am sure Layla is fine with Charlene writing the eulogy. Now if you prefer to take care of the arrangements I will mention to Layla. I can forward the locations we visited, funeral cost everything just inform us of the location and time." Lucy was quiet for a moment. "No, you two started it will be best to let you finish. Did Layla figure out what she is serving after the service? Oh, tell her that Denise wants to stay at her house. Layla will have to watch her eating habits to make sure she stays on her diet. The poor dear, she can only eat organic foods. So I made a grocery list of items Layla must buy for her." Shelia had the Scooby look on her face. Oh boy, I'm familiar with that expression. Lucy said something off the wall. "I'm sorry Lucy who is Denise?" Shelia eyed me I shrugged my shoulders in response. "She is Elliott's Aunt from Florida. What is Layla cooking for the family tonight? I figured she could barbecue. Does she still have that big grill in the backyard?" "Wait cook! Layla doesn't have time for that! Mrs. Pennington you take care of arranging hotel accommodations, food shopping, and cooking for your family. Layla and I will take care of the funeral arrangements, and accommodations for her family." Lucy erupted. "What you mean! I told the family they will stay with Layla and she is barbecuing tonight! I figured it's more convenient plus it will give the children a chance to spend time with the family." Sheila eyes nearly popped out of her head. "No, Mrs. Pennington right now Layla has too much on her plate. She does not have time or the room to accommodate your family. I'm sure you understand due to the circumstances." "Well, what am I supposed to do? The family is staying for a couple of days after the funeral to support me in my time of sorrow. I am sure Layla understands I cannot accommodate the entire family. This is the least she can do during this crisis." Shelia was in disbelief. "Mrs. Pennington I suggest you give your family the closest hotel to your house. Layla's family is staying with her." "Well how long are they staying? Who is coming? Is Trish coming?" "Lucy I have to go the coordinator is waiting." Lucy was quiet for a moment. "Well, you tell her to call me so we can discuss this matter. Twenty family members are coming, and all cannot stay at my house." Sheila mumbles this self-centered, manipulative son of.... I told Shelia to give me the phone; Shelia put her finger up, and mouthed, NO! In the mix, the host approaches. "Excuse me Mrs. Pennington the coordinator is ready." "Lucy, I am sure you understand that in light of everything Layla and the children need the support of Layla's family. Her family will be in town, they will be staying with her." Lucy snorted, "We will get back to this discussion. For now, make sure she gets me a limousine. She is aware the mother should have one right." Shelia was about blow. I snatched the phone, took it apart. "No more calls!" We have three days to put this together. I don't need Lucy aggravating Shelia or me. Shelia stood there amazed by the conversation. "Layla that woman has lost her mind. Her son is deceased, and she is coordinate a family reunion, and at your expense. Wow! That is a kick in the head. Does she ever stop trying to manipulate? She argued over who should claim Elliott. She is booking rooms at your house as if it's a hotel. Now she danged near telling you to go broke for her son. Don't be cheap! Wow! Did she forget who took care of whom? Why does his Aunt have to stay with you? Goodness, that woman is always up to something she loves making circumstances difficult. Why are over twenty people coming?" Shelia mimicked Lucy "You tell her to call me so we can straighten this out. Really! Sorry Layla I am glad your ties to Elliott's family are broken. Now she can't meddle in your life anymore. Girl, she should be on bended knees thanking God I was not married to Elliott. I'd put that no account son of hers in a pine box and burn it!" Listening to Shelia vent triggered an anxiety attack and the stress started hitting me like a hammer. My head pounding, neck, and shoulders stiffened I thought I was going to pass out. I searched my purse, man I left my medication at home. I sat there holding my head. Shelia stops venting comes over to console me. "Hey, I'm sorry kiddo. I know this situation is already unpleasant, and stressful; and me venting about Lucy is making matters worse. We will sort things out with chaotic Lucy later. Let's check out what Gilmore has to offer. If the location does not suite you, we can commence tomorrow okay." Shelia hugs me. "Okay, thanks Shelia." "Forgive me Lord, but that woman sure can push a person's buttons."

We stepped into the conference room the atmosphere is cozy, and elegant. My anxiety tapers and peace seized me. The room is bright and warm as if the sun rises and sets there and a sweet scent filled the room. If you close your eyes, you can imagine yourself in a field surrounded by flowers. Shelia and I visited six other funeral locations, none of them compared to Gilmore. The others had a dark, dreary ambience and reeked of death. Victor entered and introduced himself. "Hi Mrs. Pennington, my name is Victor Gallant. First, I would like to offer my condolences for your loss. I promise to do my best to make this as-easy-as possible." Victor led us to a huge mahogany conference table and pulled out several portfolios of various funeral arrangements. We had numerous choices of flowers, urns, coffins, including a catering menu. Ding, Ding and Ding! Bullet dodged no cooking, and no family reunion at my house. Yes! Love it! God answered my prayers. I'm not in the mood for a Pennington family reunion. After the funeral, I can go home shut the blinds, and sleep for a couple of days. Then figure out how to bounce back from a world of darkness to light. We arranged, and headed home. Now all I need is your strength Lord to cope with the unnecessary nonsense from his family.

The drive home was quiet. The only sound heard was jazz music playing on the radio. The music relaxed me and temporarily took my mind off my emotional rollercoaster. Shelia was aware the stress burned me out, and probes to see if I'm okay. Witnessing everything I been through the last couple of years took a toll on me and it showed. My weight was out of control, gray hairs protruding, and my completion darker than usual from medications. My facial expression appeared as if life was the worst gift given. I tried to keep my focus on the melody playing to avoid pondering on Elliott. The thought of him even the mention of his name brought back awful memories of hatred, betrayal, loss, and pain, no one on earth should endure. My thoughts kept swaying back asking myself the same questions. How, when did I get to this point? Why did I not take heed to the signs God given me before I married Elliott? Instead, I did what I wanted. The more I meditated on this I was convinced having the reception at the location was a great idea. His family can reminisce on the good old days, and the times they shared. For me, nothing good came out of our relationship except our children Nicole, and Daniel. Every memory ends with a broken heart. Years of my life wasted. Devoted to a marriage based on deception, unwanted pain suffering at the cost of others who wanted to benefit from the benefactor, me. I use to react to everyone's malicious actions until I learned; arguing would not change things no one can change the Pennington's except God. I grieved, now no more fighting, no more expectations, no more playing the roles of husband, wife, caregiver, and provider. If I didn't live this life myself, I'd never believe a person's life could be so miserable.
Chapter Two

We pulled up to the house to find two Lexus SE's in the driveway. My first notion was what unwanted guests came to my house? I open the front door much to my surprise sat Isabelle Moore (Izzy), and Gina Davis consoling the children. I could not believe my eyes my heart leaped for joy. Shelia comments, "I figured having everyone together would lift your spirits." Yes, it did we screamed Gina and Izzy hugged me; "Sweetie I'm so happy to see you. I'm sorry it took something of this nature to bring us together, sorry about Elliott." As Gina said those words, I gave a gracious smile. Gina pulled away, "Let me get a peek at you." She eyed me with a disapproval expression hugged me, and cried. As for Gina, she looks great as always. She is in her late thirties caramel complexion, brownish shoulder length hair with blonde highlights, and light brown eyes. She is a fashion designer and owns a boutique in California. Gina's persona showed confidence, passion, and glamour. Despite whatever odds she knew what she wanted to accomplished, and didn't let anyone get in her way. She is the oldest of the group. We consider her the big sister constantly availing, and giving advice. If I had to characterize her in one word, it would be perfection. Something she toiled for even in her marriage with Derek.

Hmm, Derek Matheson even his name sounds vigorous, affluent, romantic, and mysterious. In the beginning, Gina resisted Derek's advances, which made him progress stronger wooing Gina, and winning her heart. Everyone was convinced Derek was impeccable. He was affectionate, attentive, loving, attractive, a woman's dream man. Except underneath that, Greek-God exterior lived a man with hidden secrets, and desires. Derek abusive childhood and his father's womanizing behavior helped form his personality. Mental abuse appears to be the new craze for our generation no visible marks. Physical abuse is Derek's and he had no objections showing Gina. One day he took it too far. Izzy called and told Shelia the tragic story.

"Girl you should have been here a couple of months ago. Gina had a designer show in Paris and she stayed after the show to decide what to do about her marriage. She called Derek and told him she was staying longer for business reasons. He became furious and told her she better be on the next plane out if not she will not enjoy the outcome. When she came back from Paris Derek went ballistic. He accused her of sleeping with another man, and told her she lacked discipline. Shelia what the heck does that mean? Is she his child or his wife? Gina cursed him out, and told him he was crazy. Girl, why did she call the man crazy? Derek snapped and punched Gina in the face. Girl, I was terrified, yet dumbfounded that Derek hit Gina. Gina seen blood and ran into the bedroom. I went after her, but she locked the door to the bedroom. Five minutes later, Gina comes out wearing a jogging outfit. At first, I thought she lost her mind. He punched you in the face and now you're going jogging as if nothing occurred. Gina headed towards the living room and this is when the tables turned. Derek tried to grab Gina, and she began pounding on Derek. Shelia girl I never seen a man so shocked that he got his behind whoop by a woman. Girl, Gina is a man beater." Both of them chuckled. "Hey, those kickboxing lessons paid off I told her to give up her business and become a professional kickboxer."

That was the last time Derek seen Gina. Gazing at her and visualizing what Gina went through brings tears to my eyes. It is heartbreaking she had to learn kickboxing to protect herself from the man that is supposed to be doing the protecting. I'm sorry I did not reach out to her. I was so wrap up in my own dysfunctional drama I did not consider her drama. What a friend. When she needed me, I could not pull myself together to comfort her and be her leaning post.

Then we have Izzy, who also looks great after recouping from her hard times. She is in her early thirties, an olive tone complexion, hazel eyes, five feet nine inches. She works with Gina performing, and coordinating fashion shows. At times, she can be selfish, which causes her to make immoral decisions. Izzy is a heartbreaker, and face it a home wrecker. She nearly lost her life while having an affair with a married man. He promised to leave his wife, which never transpired. The wife gain knowledge of the affair, and shot them both. We thought she wasn't going to survive, however God pulled her through and with an altered view on life and men.

Izzy comes over "Okay let me get a gander at Ms. Layla." Izzy sighed, "Girl you look a hot mess. What is going on besides this funeral?" "Stop Izzy leave Layla alone now is not the time for that." "It's okay Gina, Izzy is right I let myself go." "Girl please, you did more than let yourself go, it looks as if you ran away and left this shell behind. What happened, and don't say nothing. I can detect the "hell I've been ran over look" spill it." Gina approached Izzy. "Okay, seriously enough, we will have time for that later focus on helping Layla through this funeral." After hearing Gina out, the only words Izzy mustered up were sweetie I am sorry for your loss. Izzy and I headed towards the living room. Sheila mumbles, "You say that now." Gina comments, "Why you say that?" "Oh, nothing I am not looking forward to spending time with little Lucifer and the merry imps." "Oh, right yeah this is going to be a bizarre funeral." "Come on we will catch up and you can tell me all about Lucy and her merry imps" "Girl these past years have been ridiculous. I don't know how I was able to manage and I'm not the target of interest."

As we sat and chatted, Izzy pulls out bottles of Moscato. Shelia turns on the radio and we reminisced about the good old days. Suddenly, the radio station played our favorite TLC song "No Scrubs." Izzy is the first one on the floor dancing. "Oh, that was the song back in the day." Shelia cranked up the music, we sang, and danced Izzy loves singing Left Eye's part. Nicole runs downstairs sees us acting stupid, and joins Izzy. I stopped and watched. It has been a long time since I seen my daughter's smile. We were miserable for so long I forgot the sound of my children's laugh, and the glow on their faces when they smile. The song faded off, we laughed and joked around Izzy hugged Nicole. "No scrub's darling you understand." "Yeah, I understand Auntie." "Good because you don't want to end up like Aunt Sheila over there alone, and loathing the world." "Wait, what you mean I don't hate the world." "What! Shelia, who do you spend time with other than Layla and the kids. Do you even go out, and don't count church." Everyone was staring at Shelia, waiting for her answer. "Sheila you are an attractive, young talented woman who spends her nights hugging a dog. Get a life sis, get out, and mingle. You can enjoy yourself without submitting to the devil. God does not expect you to miss life." "My life is fine I may not visit exotic places or people, but I am content being by myself." I eyed Shelia with the really look. Shelia sucked her teeth, "I don't have to take this." Shelia heads for the kitchen. I pulled Izzy to the side. "Stop antagonizing Shelia it is hard for her to get back on that horse after Todd." "I understand Layla, except she is missing life. Sheila is a wonderful person. Yeah, granted she is hard to live with, controlling, a neat freak, picky; can suck the fun out of a moment." Izzy pauses in mid-sentence. "Oh, heck now I see why he bolted." We chuckled, "Stop Izzy you're going to make her blow." "Does anyone want me to make them something to eat?" "No, we're fine thanks." "Seriously, stop it Izzy I mean it." "No she needs to get back on track and not let the past control her future happiness." "I understand but, that is not our decision. When she is ready, she will open that door. Now come on let's join Gina before she tells Nicole something I regret her knowing."

Gina conversed about the old days the crazy antics we pulled and the people we have not seen in years. Now Nicole is aware of the crazy stuff her mom did back in the day. While telling stories of our younger years, I fell into my own world. Then a scripture came to mind; when I was a child, I spoke as a child I understood as a child. I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. The scripture startled me because I don't remember questioning such things. Career choices, number of children I intended to have or the man I desired to marry. Then Gina brought up Larry Ewing Izzy's first love the jock of the football team. She fell hard for Larry. "Izzy you remember the term paper you stole from the dean's office." "Oh, yeah now that was a hoot." "Yeah, such a hoot our dumb behinds helped you get the stupid thing, and the idiot still failed." We laughed so hard we cried. "What happened to him?" "Oh, he lives in Boston, married and has two kids." We glared at Izzy questioning her answer. "How do you know?" "Oh, he contacted me on Facebook a year ago and we kept in touch." The room became silent and we all stared at Izzy. "Oh, stop worrying, our relationship is strictly platonic nothing is going on that was the old Izzy. God showed me my errors and I don't plan on traveling sins road again." "Well, okay as long as you learned your lesson." Shelia agreed. "Yeah, I figured you learned from the first time when Gina whooped your behind." Gina choked on her drink and laughed. "Oh, please don't go there she hates that story." Sheila shrugged her shoulders. "I'm saying people don't change overnight. They may claim they've changed, but it does not mean it's factual." "True Shelia it takes God to change the heart of a person. Besides that happened in our childhood, let it go, I did." Izzy cried, and asked Gina to forgive her. "Gina, I still don't believe how horrible I was towards you." Shelia leaves the room mumbling, "Oh boy here goes the water works." I sat there recalling the day it transpired. It was during sixth period lunch we were sitting in the cafeteria. Everything was fine until word got out that Gary, Gina's boyfriend and Izzy was at his house. Gina became furious when she heard. Gina's archenemy came over and said. "Do you know where your man is?" Gina face became red, and everyone at the table laughed. Embarrassed and livid Gina got up and headed toward the exit. Shelia and I ran after her and holy molly who walks in, Gary. "Hey, baby." Gina looked at him, took a tray off the table, and banged him in the face with it beating him until he hits the ground. Izzy walked in and caught Gina's eyes that was all she wrote. Izzy tried to run and Gina tackled her to the ground beating the mess out of Izzy. She even took a chuck of hair out of Izzy's head. Ouch! That had to hurt. We tried to pull them apart, but Gina is strong as a bull when she is enraged. The dean and teachers broke up the fight. Next thing I know we all are in detention.
Chapter Three

After a night of reminiscing with the girls, I realized how much I missed them. Now it is time to face reality beginning with Elliott's death. Wonder if the funeral home picked up his body, guess I'll call later. As I stood there cleaning the kitchen I recollect the day he died. Seeing him in the morgue was so surreal. The last conversation we had before he died was a bitter one. We argued over the problems, which plagued our marriage. Elliott hated the factor I no longer pined away for him or was interested in his whereabouts. The only topic I was interested in was divorce, which he refused to give me. He said it was not an option he wanted to reconcile and re-new our vows. I asked him what made him think he could take away my free will to choose. Not even God takes away a person's free will. No, we are not reconciling nor renewing vows I was foolish enough to marry him the first time. There was no way in hell I would be an idiot and marry him a second time. No I endured enough, and to go to hell. The line went dead, that was the last time we spoke. Few days later Officer Thomas called informing me Elliott was in an accident at the car shop. The car lift fell on him, and Elliott was not going to survive. His words pierced my heart like a knife. In that moment the remembrance of those last harsh words came to life. Words I can never take back. I can never say I am sorry. The phone rang, which takes me out of my stupor. It is five in the morning, who is calling me this early? I checked the caller id it was Charlene. What does she want? Let the voicemail pick it up, I am not in the mood to argue with his family. I filled the coffee maker to brew a fresh pot. Ah! That smells good. As I waited for the coffee, I drifted back rehashing memories of Elliott's cruel behavior. How he'd shower, shave put on his Sunday's best to hang out until after midnight. Mom always said only two things will keep a man in the streets women and drugs. In Elliott case, it was both. One day he wanted to carouse the streets and didn't have any money as usual. He had the audacity to ask me. I said no, I paid the bills. He got upset and made the comment "I have a wife and don't have any money in my pocket." I smiled and said "Wow how disrespectful. Well, I have a husband who chooses not to work, that is why he does not have any money in his pocket. I wish would I give you money after that comment. I'd slap my damn self you lost your mind. Who do you think you're talking too?" Shocked by my response and guilt ridden by his own asinine words he apologized, and left the house. I'm guessing his mother gave him money because he came home reeking of beer. Those times are over now no more drinking, carouse, disrespect or dealing with his manipulative behavior.

I glanced up and there on the mantel was a picture of Nicole. She was only two months old and adorable. It was when she was born Elliott became controlling and disrespectful. When I was filling out the paperwork for her birth certificate, he had the nerve to tell me the birth certificate belonged to him and once it came in to hand it over. I did to see if he was for real. Low and behold, he snatched it out my hand asked for the social security card, said thank you and told me to get my own. I was dumbfounded, yet I held my temper. Couple of days later I told him I needed her information for paperwork. He gave me the information I snatched it back and told him next time he will be on the other side of the door. He eyed me, and walked away. Recalling those incidents made me shake my head in wonderment. What the heck was he thinking? What was he going to do with Nicole's information? Was he going to give it to his mother so she can file Nicole on her taxes? Hmm, that sounds like Lucy always probing for a way to use someone for her benefit. Always inquiring about your financial matters, your paycheck, bank account how much you paid for an item. You name it she is on the prowl trying to find out your business as if she is supposed to know such information. On the other hand, was it done for the need of control? Did he think marriage meant control? Is a spouse supposed to fight for respect? Should not respect be given from the beginning? Why did he treat me with such disrespect? Why did he lie, and was so deceitful? Why did he sleep with her? Millions of other women out there and he chose her. Why did he refuse to give me a divorce? Why is he dead? Good mercy I feel as if I'm an inspector trying to solve a murder mystery. By trying to answer my own questions, I became frustrated and took out my medication. Next, a wicked thought crept into my mind. "Take all of them at one time. Fall into a deep sleep it will be over no more fighting, no more remembering, and no more dealing with the negative." Then a small still voice whispered "Stop I am your perfect peace." I wanted to scream it was as if two people dwelled inside my head fighting for control. I placed the bottle on the counter to catch a breath. Picked them back up, and tried to open the bottle. Great the cap is stuck. As I tugged the cap jerked opened, and the pills fell in the sink of water. My stress and frustration became more intense. Nicole comes into the kitchen. "Mom, you okay." I wiped my tears. "Yeah, I am fine go back to bed sweetie we have a big day tomorrow." "No mom you need to rest you have been running endlessly." I observed Nicole and wondered when did my little girl grow up. There she stood twelve years old five feet, long black shoulder length hair, caramel complexion, and the image of Elliott. She took the mug, and the bottle out of my hand, and we went upstairs to the bedroom. Nicole climbed into the bed with me. "Everything will be okay mom." I kissed her on the forehead. "Yeah sweetie we will be fine."

I open my eyes eleven o'clock crap I slept most of the morning. I jump up cleaned myself up threw on sweats, and a tee-shirt and ran downstairs. Oh my, I woke up to a scary comedy scene Izzy in the kitchen cooking. Oh, good mercy we are going to die! "Hey, sleepy head how are you? I understand you had a rough morning." "Yeah, I did. Where is everyone?" "They are taking care of the items on your list." "Oh, okay well I'm leaving to pick up Elliott's clothing and take it to Gilmore." "Nope, taken care of the troops are on it even giving your delightful in-laws the funeral information." Izzy chuckled. "That is not funny." I threw the dishtowel at her. "Sit down and eat so we can bring color back into those cheeks." Oh, mercy I'm going to die! Eat Izzy's cooking Lord why are you doing this to me. "No, I am not hungry." "Layla my cooking will not kill you sit eat." Izzy put the plate in front of me much to my surprise it smelled delicious. "Is this french toast?" "Yep, I got the recipe from one of my male counterparts." I took a bite "Wow! Izzy I knew you had limited talents, but this is delicious." "See you're already better. Your sense of humor is back. Food is a wonderful cure for the blues."

After two plates full, I was ready for a nap. "I'll clean up the kitchen while you go take a shower Layla." "What do I stink?" "You said it not me now go move it." "Okay, wow Izzy you will make someone a great wife." "Bite your tongue I am never getting married." "What?" "You heard me I am never getting married. I've seen what marriage did to you and Gina." "What are you talking about Izzy?" "No need to play games with me Layla. I recognize a woman scorned when I see one." Speechless and unaware it was noticeable. The word "scorned" blinking like a neon sign on my forehead. The doorbell rings. Thank you Lord saved, it was my next-door neighbor David. He was about six feet tall, Caucasian, tanned from working in his yard, dark hair, brown colored eyes, mid-forties, medium muscular built, and easy on the eyes. I gave him the how can I help you look Izzy on the other hand switched gears and was drooling. "Why hello I'm Izzy." "Hello, I'm David Layla's neighbor. Hey, Layla I wanted to stop by and give my condolences." "Thanks, David." My disposition softens for he is nothing but sweet to me and the kids adore him. Daniel and his son Jonathan are best of friends. In addition, David saved me from Elliott's explosive moments a couple of times. Moments I wish to forget. "When is the funeral I would like to send flowers, and pay my respects." "The funeral is on Friday, one o'clock at Gilmore." "Okay." A bit of an awkward silence loomed the air for a minute. I can sense Izzy's eyes staring, scrutinizing our every move. "How is Jonathan?" "He is fine he is with his grandmother's." "Oh, okay well tell him I said hello." "Okay, I will. Well let me get out of your way I am sure you have things to do before the funeral." "Yeah, I do thanks for stopping by David." I open the door to let him out and as soon as I closed it Izzy. "What was that?" "What?" She mimics me, "How is Jonathan, thanks for stopping by. What is up with the awkward between you, and Casanova? Did you two do the do?" "What! No, nothing is going on between Mr. Richards, and me." Izzy put her hands up. "Oh, now it's Mr. Richards a minute ago, you two were on first name basis." "Izzy, stop! I said nothing is going on between David and me." "Really! I sensed the awkward tension between you two." "There is nothing going on between us or any other man. I possess no desires or interest in men the idea of a relationship repulses me. For I've been on the defense, tortured and slept next to my enemy for years. No, Izzy I had my share of afflictions, and don't intend to put myself in that predicament again." Izzy stunned by my response. "Okay Layla calm down, you're getting upset I'm sorry." "No, you don't understand. It does not matter how kind, sweet, caring, giving, or patient you are men will betray you. Marriage to them is a binding tool used to manipulate and take dominance over the misfortunate soul who marries them. Leaving them feeling unloved, unwanted, and worthless. Is this how marriage supposed to be? Was that God's intent, or are we all that selfish?" I stood there crying Izzy grabbed me. "Sweetie its okay I'm sorry for getting you upset. Layla you are loved and far from worthless. Remember what you told me when I was at my lowest. I was a child of Most High God and I will never be worthless in his eyes. Don't let the devil win despise the sin not the person. There are God-fearing men out there Layla, God showed me that." "Izzy I lost belief in that a long time ago. You have no idea what I've been through with Elliott." "You're right I don't, yet I know you Layla. You are a loving, caring person and it pains me to see you hurting." "Thanks Izzy, but right now I am reaping what I sowed."
Chapter Four

Shelia reviews the list. "Okay we completed everything on your mother's list. We picked up everyone's outfit. Checked in with the caterer's, everything is running smoothly. We'll eat, drop Elliott's suit off at the funeral home, and head back to the house." Nicole and Daniel headed toward the mall's food cart. "They are such great kid's do you think taking them to the funeral home will be a bit much for them?" Shelia observed them. "Not sure so far I haven't seen them cry. It will hit them the day of the funeral." "Yeah you're right. I was the same way when Aunt Paula died I was fine until the funeral. No one could console me Dr. Murdock had to give me a sedative. I'm sorry I did not spend more time with the children and Layla." "Well it's never too late Gina. Lord knows we are the children's family." Gina puzzled by Shelia's comment. "What are you talking about they have family." "Well yeah, Layla's side of the family besides them we are their family." "What about Elliott's family." "Gina, his family doesn't acknowledge the children." "They do understand that everyone's actions affect them." Shelia bats her lashes at Gina. "Read my lips dear you, Izzy, and I are the family. The Pennington's don't give those kids the time of day. They could care less about the children's emotional state. They are not involved in the children's lives no way, shape, fashion, or form. Their only concern is perched in Layla's pocket. I swear Lucy always try to find new profound ways to make Layla's life a living nightmare. Layla didn't tell you." "No, she didn't tell me." "Oh okay then you need to talk to Layla." "No, Shelia I'm asking you. I left, and you promised to watch out for our girl. I told you her marrying Elliott was a bad idea. I always found Elliott to be a deceiver, and did not deserve Layla. Still, I didn't push the issue." Shelia looked at Gina and took a deep breath.

"Well for starters, Crystal was not the only wart in Layla's life. Lucy was the other, always in the middle of their marriage and making excuses for Elliott's malevolent behavior. Layla stated after every conversation Elliott had with Lucy chaos starts. Elliott would complain about how bad he feels that he could not give his mother and sister money. Then argue with Layla telling her she should be helping him with his family." "What?" "Yep, Layla told him go to work but before he took care of them he better do for your children first." "Wow!" "Yeah, Layla didn't understand how he could put the wants of grown adults over the needs of his children." "Well why are Lucy, and Charlene asking him for money? Don't Charles and Charlene's boyfriend work?" "Yes, Charlene is the only one that doesn't work." "Layla doesn't care if he did for his family. It was the fact he refuse to do and expected Layla to neglect her own household and do for Lucy. I swear Lucy would bark about money every week." "So to avoid conflict within her household, Layla told him that was his family and he could do whatever he thought was best." "I'm sure Elliott did not take that well." "Layla didn't care. She became emotionally detached from their relationship a long time ago. She told Elliott if the conversation was not about signing divorce papers, then there was no reason for them to talk." "Well damn, I know he was livid." "Absolutely, Layla did not play with Elliott." "If Elliott was of a different nature and Lucy was not meddling in their marriage I believed it would have worked, but Lucy was always in the mix. Dominating and manipulating Elliott telling him he was the head and not the tail." "Lucy needed to concentrate on her own turmoil and stop making someone else's life miserable." "What do you mean is Lucy's marriage in trouble?" "Uh Huh, her husband has a child with a girl who lives near the pool hall." "What! Shut up! Are you serious?" "Yeah, the girl confronted Lucy pertaining her husband's infidelities." "Wow! What did Lucy do?" "What can she do either leave Charles or stay and accept. Girl, Mr. Charles is running thangs down he're he runs his house." Sheila laughs "Girl stop he still talks like that." "Yeah, Charles has been cheating on Lucy for years. Now his infidelities caught up with him. Lucy hates the fact that her dirty laundry is out. Lucy use to brag about how she does not have such issues and laughs at women who are now she is in their shoes all of it right in her face." "No wonder Layla is going through it misery loves company." "No Gina, she has no excuse those are her marital problems not Layla's. Besides, Lucy is not miserable, but she does need to concentrate on her own backyard." "Why you say that? She was humiliated due to her husband's infidelities. Walking around town knowing her husband had a child with another woman. Girl please she is miserable." "Trust me Gina she is not miserable. Remember Nelson the pharmaceutical tech who works in old man Baxter's store. He saw Lucy over at the Mixer Club mixing it up with the young fellas. Drinking, partying, snorting, and grinding it up as if she was nineteen." "Yeah, you're right she is miserable." "What! Shut up! Lucy?" "Yep" Both of them laughed. "Shelia I don't understand with everything going on in her life, how does Lucy have time to butt into Layla's marriage?" "From what I observe, Lucy had a sick twisted control over Elliott. My presumption is Lucy wanted control over Layla or make sure Layla understood she comes first. We all know she is not first in Charles eyes. She needs to put those magical dance moves on dear hubby instead of interfering in everyone else's life." "Girl, you're stupid." "One day Layla was cleaning out the garage preparing it for the painters. Elliott was on the phone talking with Lucy. Suddenly, Elliott hands the phone to Layla. She and Lucy talked then Lucy comments, "Oh I hear you're cleaning out the garage and it looks immaculate." "Girl she probably can't even spell the word." They both chuckled. "Anyway, she told Layla, oh you and Elliott can come clean my garage. Charlene and her boyfriend decided to live there so I need it cleaned out before they move in." "What! How did Layla respond?" "At first, she was speechless. She could not believe it even came out of Lucy's mouth. Here it is a woman who works takes care of two small children, your son makes three cooks and cleans her house, and you have an individual in your house that don't do a thing all day. Yet you want her to come to your house and clean out your garage." "That is crazy." "I know right. Anyhow, Layla laughed and said. Well I am sure Elliott would not mind coming over and cleaning the garage for you. Where is Charlene?" Lucy did her customary grunting routine. "She is sleeping." "Well I guess you better wake her up and tell her to get to cleaning. Here is Elliott. She heard Lucy screaming at Elliott Layla laughed and told him his mother done lost her mind." "That woman is crazy how she is going to tell Layla to come clean her house. Did Elliott say anything to Layla?" "Girl please he knew he already had one foot out the door. He would not dare test the waters." "How did Lucy know what Layla was doing?" "Elliott told her; he told her everything. I'm convinced Lucy was aware of how many times Layla went to the bathroom. She probably knows where Layla's birthmark is and made the excuse she needed to know for identification purposes." "Shelia that is so not funny." "Yes, it is." Both of them chuckled at the thought. "I don't understand Lucy; she acts as if she has to have everything Layla owns. You see those gorgeous antique pictures in Layla's living room." "You're talking about the ones in the first living room." "Yeah, Lucy noticed them, and told Layla they were nice and asked if she was using them. Layla gave her the crazy face, and said no I have them hanging there so they won't be in the way. Lucy wanted to choke the mess out of Layla." "Oh, so what she expected Layla to take them down, and give them to her." "Yes! Those pictures are the last memorable item she has of her mother." "Wow talk about crazy." "If Layla buys something Lucy knew, if she says or do something Lucy knew. Lucy knew everything and wanted everything you name it money, clothes, shoes whatever Layla possessed. The woman swears Layla's closet is her own private clothing store. It was so bad Layla had to put a lock on her closet door." "So Lucy is a coveter." Shelia looked at Gina. "I am sorry a what?" "Coveter person who wants what another has." "Yeah, if that is what you call it." "Shelia girl you need to read your bible." "I know, Lord forgive me. I have been trailing behind in my studies."

"Oh girl, you missed the episode when Layla brought herself a new car. Naturally, Elliott told Lucy and Lucy told Elliott Layla should give the old one to Charlene. Well Layla intended to give her cousin Vicky the car. When Layla got home, she found Lucy and Elliott assessing the car. Elliott asked for the key so he can check if it had any problems. Layla questioned why and Lucy jumps in the conversation saying he is checking the car for Charlene. At first, Layla thought Charlene was buying the car. Lucy blurts out no Elliott is giving her the car. Man everything blew up Layla was livid. She told Lucy and Elliott who are they to give away her car. Layla and Elliott argued, and she told Lucy to buy a car for her daughter or better yet tell her boyfriend to buy one." "Wow, Lucy presumes she has control." "Yes, the woman is notorious. I'm glad Layla's battles with her are behind her."

"I tried to understand the reasoning behind the misfortunes Layla endured. I'm not sure how she kept her sanity." "She did it by the grace of God Shelia. Well both of them have peace now neither one have to deal with the insanity." "Yeah, but look at the cost. Years of unhappiness, the constant battles it does not make sense. Lucy created chaos and destruction in their lives all for control." Gina shook her head. "Wow, a double portion of trouble the husband and the mother in-law. Mine was the husband. His mother is great. If I could transform Derek's mother into a man I would marry her. When we were going through it, she told me to kick him out and send him on his way. She always says I was a woman first before I was his mother. I love my son but Derek is wrong." "What! She did." "Yeah, she doesn't believe in meddling in her son affairs. Derek knows how his mother is and she doesn't play she will tell Derek about himself in a minute." Shelia sees Nicole and Daniel on their way back. "Lucy even tried to set Nicole against Layla." Gina was stunned. "What, how?" "Yep, Shhh, here she comes I will tell you about that later." "Hey, Aunt Sheila, Aunt Gina do you want some of my salad?" "No honey you eat." Gina looked at the children, and cried. Nicole asked her what was wrong. Gina tried to gain composure. "I'm okay sweetheart I'm so happy to be here with all of you." Nicole went to Gina and threw her arms around her. "I'm glad you are here too. I've missed having my family around." Shelia sat there getting misty eyed. "Okay, please stop before I cry." Everyone laughed. "Oh Auntie." Shelia wiped her tears. "Okay people enough with the tender moments. Time to head back your mother is probably having a fit right now." As they headed out the mall, a dress catches Nicole's eye. "I remember when mom use to wear dresses like that." Gina peered at the dress. It was a beautiful peach color sundress. "Will mom ever be mom again? Will she ever be happy?" "Yeah sweetie she will it will take time, but your mom will find her way back." Gina grabbed Nicole hand. "Come on we will get that dress for your mother." Nicole smiled, "Okay she will love it." They headed into the store. Shelia yells out "Where are you going?" "Too buy Layla a present." They entered the store and Nicole ran to the dress. "Auntie these sandals will match." They pick up everything even accessories to match. "Oh, mom will love this outfit." "Yes she will sweetie. Now getting her to wear it is a different task."

Chapter Five

After my conversation with Izzy, I headed to the bedroom to take a shower, and wallow in my own misery. I set off to clean and found a magazine. The front cover caught my attention "The Narcissist" I sat and read the article.

The Narcissist

Do you have a friend, or a love one that makes you appear as if you were going crazy? Is belligerent, malicious, and misconstrue these actions as acts of thoughtfulness. Criticize you on the sly, and assume you don't notice? Their tone of voice is always unhappy or irate when they talk to you. Rolling their eyes at you, ignore you, and sucks the joy out of every occasion. Is envious, loves to air your business, and keep theirs a secret. Violates your freedom, space, or has favorites. Is nosy, tries to find a weakness, and then uses it against you. Say they care but wear their true emotions on their sleeves. Wants credit and attention, lies, manipulates, and is self-absorbed. Loves to terrorize you and is petty. Is hostile towards you, and has no shame in their actions. Is never wrong, and does not consider other people feelings. They are destructive, sneaky, and downright nasty. My friend you may be dealing with a narcissist.

WOW! Was I dealing with a narcissist, and did not realize? It would make sense the weird mother-son relationship and the malicious behavior. The shrewd remarks made by Elliott and his mother, and the "I am first" mind-set. Dang his family is more dysfunctional than I realized. Lucy wants to control everything, and the devious stuff she does, and says when people are not in the vicinity. She goes right into the woe is me song and dance. Acting as though she cares telling people she figured she could guide and teach me since my mother is deceased. UGH! What can she teach me? How to be cruel, nasty, abusive, and envious that's okay, I'll pass. Funny part is once she has you alone her true nature comes forth, and goes right for the juggler leaving you bewildered. Trying to figure out what the heck happened. That sick dysfunctional bat. This article makes sense little control freak. I swear the woman has two personalities. One is Lucy, and the other is Sybil. I remember when Elliott's ex-girlfriend Crystal showed up to our engagement party. Lucy was nice the entire evening until she arrived. Seeing Crystal there shocked Elliott, he told her to leave. That is when Lucy's second personality Sybil came out. "She can stay it is my house, and I don't care who is uncomfortable." The kicker part is Crystal knew it was our engagement party, and she came nonetheless. Why are women so messy, and deliberately do things to start conflict? Why do we try to steal someone else's man or get involved with married men, knowing it's a sin? Is it worth reaping the consequences? Are we that desperate and fine with belittling our self-worth for a no account man?

After Lucy made her little comment, I told Elliott to let it go, and enjoy the party. At that time I was too blind to see pass the trees. The party ran smoothly until Crystal tried to put the moves on him, and he threw her out. It was for show they got together after we were married, and I was pregnant with Nicole. Meddling Lucy interfered trying to cover Elliott tracks. One day Lucy had her so-called family barbecue and Crystal makes a grand entrance. Lucy and Elliott scared expression said everything. Crystal starts arguing with Elliott and Lucy tried to defuse the argument. "Oh, why is she here. You said it was over between you two. I thought you two are getting a divorce. She is over here looking real cozy as if she still part of the family." Crystal was cursing, calling me names, trying to make her way to the backyard. Elliott brother Trevor intervened grabs Crystal, and they started fighting. Lucy stopped them, and tried to calm Crystal telling her Elliott loves her, and wants to be with her not me. The little bat did not know I was standing there, and Elliott right behind me. I told Elliott I was done, and not to come home. The separation did not last long. Within a couple of weeks, I took him back. Stupid me never learn. His mother never apologized, only made excuses. "Sweetie I was trying to keep her calm and away from you and my grandchild." I looked at Lucy, shook my head, and told her she needed Jesus. How could she presume I believed her? From that moment, I never trusted Lucy. I did not peg her as a narcissist, but I was onto Lucy and her underhanded craftiness.

How do you contend with such a dysfunctional person? I read further to find a resolution to the problem. Okay here helpful tips on dealing with a narcissistic mother in-law.

Try to understanding that she feels as if she is losing her son or daughter. When she acts out in an unacceptable manner deal with the situation, don't let it linger hold her accountable for her actions. Set boundaries, expectations and remember that in every relationship there should be a mutual agreement, and last collaboration.

Okay is she my child, my husband or is she my mother-in-law this article is crazy. I have always conceived you are married into the family not married to the family. This is ridiculous how about we give respect. God said, the man shall leave his father, and mother, and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Does our wisdom or reasoning out shine God's wisdom? Or is abuse now a part of the family norm? Why do we mistake evil actions as love? Is it acceptable to be deceitful, full of strife, commit adultery, manipulate, be physical and emotionally abusive to others and say I love you? Why do we choose to compromise our values and disarm ourselves to these vultures? They feed off our good nature and try to weaken us using their sick dysfunctional tactics. I must say I learned from the Pennington family the time spent was bitter sweet. Bitter due to the trials I allowed myself to endure and sweet because the power of God overcame every circumstance. God moved in ways no one expected not even me. The loss was not worth the effort for control. Now those days have passed and healing must begin. Where do I start? Lord helps me move pass the anger that is in my heart. Guide me down the right path for if I have to continue dealing with the Pennington's I might stumble, and fall short of your glory.

Chapter Six

After reading that ridiculous article, I took a shower and assessed myself in the mirror. Gray hairs protruding, dark circles developing under my eyes, twelve-pack abs instead of a six-pack. While examining my terrible physique the sound of jazz music catches my attention. I peeked out the window, and there he was, David sitting in his backyard. Boy, I feel terrible ogling him. I sighed, and smiled in walks Izzy. "Girl, do you ever knock?" "What are you doing? "Nothing." Izzy comes over to the window and sees David. "All right girlfriend. You can yell get angry, whatever, but do tell me what is going on or you rather continue to allow my imagination to run wild." "Izzy enough, David is a friend nothing is going on between us." "From where I am standing I beg to differ your actions suggest you two are more than friends." "Again, David is a friend who has been there for me during my trials with Elliott. Especially after I told him, I wanted a divorce, which he did not respond well too. He assumed we could fix our relationship even after the last incident." "What incident?" I paused. "Elliott cheated." "Wait Elliott, the same Elliott that tried to tell me the error of my ways Elliott." "Yeah, that Elliott he was unable to accept that his cheating and constant attacks from Lucy pushed me to my decision." "What attacks? What did Lucy Lu do now?"

"What doesn't Lucy do? She always meddling or saying something off the wall. One time I had a barbecue at the house, and I invited church members including David, and Jonathan. David and I began playing basketball with the kids. Lucy made comments to Elliott." "It appears your children and wife is really attached to David. They look very happy together, like one big happy family." "Is it not odd how the two boys resemble David? If I did not know any better, I would swear Daniel was his son. Elliott is you sure no one's been in your backyard?" "What! That heifer is there no end to that woman's madness. She loves being messy. You would never cheat on Elliott." I glanced at Izzy, and continued the story. "After the barbecue, Elliott left and went to his mother's house and came back acting weird. He peaked into Nicole's bedroom, closed the door. Then Daniel's room and stared as if he was examining Daniel. Minutes later, he came charging into my bedroom with a crazed look in his eyes smelling of liquor, and marijuana cursing claiming Daniel is not his son. I cheated, and how could I do that to him." "What! Wait, Elliott was doing drugs too." "Yes, stop interrupting." "Okay, okay sorry Layla, this is too unreal." "Elliott grabbed me I snatched away from him and told him he had to be kidding. That was his own guilt beating him in the head, and if Daniel was not his what difference did it make. I took care of everything anyway. The kids, house, bills, and all his sorry behind do is cry over what he's not getting. Elliott boiling with anger suddenly attacks me. Daniel runs out the room and Nicole came running in trying to get Elliott off me. He pushes Nicole into the closet door and told her to get out." I paused in remembrance. I started screaming telling him to get off me and Elliott tries to rip my shirt off and tries to force himself on me." "What! He tried to force you to have sex with him. Oh honey, I am so sorry." I held my head down in embarrassment. "Yeah he tried and said you're my wife and you are going to start acting like it." As I tried to get away, David comes from nowhere pulls Elliott off me and tells Elliott he lost his mind attacking me. Elliott was pissed and started to attack David. They started going blow for blow. David punched Elliott into the wall knocking the wind out of him. Elliott accused David of wanting his family. I laughed, and told Elliott he was crazy. David eyed me and told me to get the children out the house. Elliott starts coming towards me, and said you're not going anywhere you're my wife. Both of you swear I'm stupid. I can tell something is going on between you two. David jumped in front of me and punched Elliott in the face again. Elliott threw a punch David ducked next thing, David had Elliott in a chokehold. I told the children to go outside I tried to stop them but Elliott started to fall asleep." "David should have broken his neck." "Izzy!" "Sorry Layla how dare he accuse you of cheating when he was the one doing the cheating. Typical man, they want women to accept their faults, forgive, and move on so they can do a repeated performance. When, the coin is flipped they are incapable of forgiving." As Izzy was venting, I continued to remember that night. David and I stood over Elliott. David eyed me, "Layla he is fine. Mrs. Perkins called the police they will be here soon." "No David I don't want him to go to jail." "So what are you going to do? You cannot stay here with him. This is not the first time he attacked you. This time he went too far Layla." David gazed at me, and reached out to touch my face I jerked back. "Layla I'm not going to hurt you." He pulled off his shirt and wiped the blood streaming from my face. "Ouch! That hurts." "Yeah, well that's what happens when you get knocked in the face." He touched my neck to examine it; his touch was different, gentle. I pulled away from him. "Sorry Layla." "It's okay David." You need ice on your neck. I will go get some." "Wait, you're leaving me here." "Don't worry he is not going to come out of that before I get back."

Izzy snapped me out of my daze. "Layla are you okay. I'm sorry Layla, I'm sure this is hard for you. What happened afterwards?" "Well, Officer Thomas came and arrested Elliott. Lucy called and left a nasty message. She was livid that David interfered in Elliott marital affairs." "What! She was kidding right, but its okay for her to interfere." "The kids and I stayed at David's house." "Oh, David's wife was all right with you, and the children staying?" "David is not married." "Oh how convenient I'm sure you staying at David's did not play out well with Elliott." "Not sure, neither David, nor Elliott spoke on the matter."

"Hello, Layla, Izzy we're back." "We are up here." The doorbell rings Izzy, and I ran downstairs. It was Mrs. Pauline Grace, along with a couple of members from the church. "I came bearing gifts." "Thanks so much Mrs. Grace." "No problem Layla, we figured cooking is the last thing on your mind. So, we cooked different meals for the week." "Wow, how thoughtful, I appreciate the trouble thank you."

Mrs. Grace is a wonderful person she reminds me of my mother. Cheerful, kind, calm, peaceful, and tries to see the best in everyone. She is a believer that love covers all sins. She was aware of Elliott's infidelities and his family's malevolent behavior. She supported me in every way. A shoulder to cry on or lending an ear to bend; Mrs. Grace listened, understood, and gave advice without sarcasm. She experienced troubles within her years of marriage, which taught her it takes two to build a marriage, but one incident can destroy one. She told me no marriage is perfect. People change, even grow apart, but both of you must be willing to make the marriage work. If not, attempts to save the marriage are useless. At times, you may wonder if you are being tested. Even contemplate if this is life's sick joke. Everything you can think of can go wrong giving you the sense of failure. However, keep in mind God says you are a conqueror. Seek God; he will make those crooked paths straight. He will guide you; give you wisdom, and strength to foresee your way through life's trials. She was right God helped me foresee the truth. Elliott did not want a marriage he wanted someone he can use and control. If I stayed, I will be miserable. If I leave, it will be a choice I'm compelled to live with moving forward. Either way God loves me, and that what matters.

Mrs. Grace was about to leave, she turns around "Oh, my goodness Izzy, Gina I'm happy to see the both of you. I'm glad you both are here. "Hi Mrs. Grace you look wonderful. How have you been?" "Fine Gina, you both look gorgeous as always." "How long will you two be in town? Tonight is the Barton Hills Family Carnival you must come everyone will be there. Layla is it okay if the kids come to the carnival. It will be a great distraction for them. Nicole can stay overnight with Madison." Nicole comes over, "Mom can Daniel, and I go with Mrs. Grace." "Nicole your father's family is in town. I figured you and Daniel can spend time with them for a couple of hours." "Mom please his family does not want anything to do with Daniel or me. If it's okay I rather go to the carnival." Mrs. Grace and Gina eyed me waiting for my answer. "I understand Nicole you don't have to go if you don't want too." Daniel came running into the kitchen "Mom can I stay over Jonathan's tonight he is back from his grandma's house." Good Lord neither one wanted to go over to Lucy's house. It saddens me their relationship is this way. Gina intervened, "Sure sweetie; make sure you're back first thing in the morning." Daniel viewed me to make sure it was all right. I shook my head yes. "Thanks mom thanks Aunt Gina." Izzy yells, "Wow! Well they are sure overjoyed to go over Grandma Lucy's house." Sheila punched Izzy, "Ouch that hurts." "Come on we're going." "Where are we going?" "We are going with the children to the Carnival." "No, I don't want to go." Gina turned around and gave Izzy the stare. "I mean oh yay, the old time Barton Hills Carnival what fun." "Yeah, yeah come on big mouth."
Chapter Seven

I went upstairs to pack an overnight bag for Daniel. Gina entered the room, "Here let me help you with that." "No, I got it." I shoved the clothing into the bag. Gina took the bag and told me to stay and she will give the bag to Daniel. She got everyone out and came back upstairs. "All right girl we are all alone. You can let it all out." "Gina I'm not crying over Elliott. I'm crying because I detest his family for the way they treated the children. I asked God to help me to forgive, yet my anger towards them is growing to the point it is consuming me. The cruel treatment and his family's sarcastic remarks piss me off. I miss my parent's they would have never treated the children this way. I would understand Lucy's actions if I disrespected her, or did not fulfill my responsibilities as a mother or a wife. I never said not one ill word to her nor placed any burdens at her door. I use to rack my brain trying to figure out what was the problem. I even tried talking to Elliott, nothing computed. Then God told me not to be anxious. Place it in his hands and find a way to live at peace with Lucy. I did. I stayed away from her and tended to my business. When I did that became a problem. Nothing pleases that woman. I don't care anymore I'm not here to please her and she had no business in the middle of my marriage or my life." Gina was in disbelief. "Oh, honey everything will be okay." The house phone rings, I looked at the caller id; it was Trevor, Elliott's brother. Crap, here we go, the nightmare continues his family is in town.

Gina stopped me from answering the phone. "No Layla you can deal with them on Friday. I assume they don't have your cell number." "No, they don't." "Good, relax. Was that Lucy?" "No that was his brother Trevor." "Oh, I have not seen him in God knows how long." "Trevor does not bother with his family at least that was what I was told. His dear old Dad well we never interacted with each other so, I don't know him. Charlene is messy, a mini Lucy." "Wow talk about crazy relatives. So when you had birthday parties for the kids." I cut her off before she could even finish the sentence. "No, his family does not acknowledge the children." I left Daniel's room and went to the hallway closet took out Elliott's box of cards. "This is every card Elliott received from his family. Not one card sent to the children on their birthdays or holiday no acknowledgement whatsoever. No cards, presents not even a phone call. Now they are trying to make this ordeal about the children." The phone rings again it was Elliott's dad. "Hey, it's your father in-law. The family is in town. Call me back so we can come for a visit." I erased the message. "I take it you are not calling back." "No, I'm not in the mood for the fake concern, and smart remarks. Let them stay on the Boulevard no need for them to come to the Hills." "What are you going to do if they decide to come by anyway?" "I guess their Pennington family reunion will be in the park across the street. This funeral cannot come soon enough. Once this is over, I don't have to hear from them again." I paused. "Hold on, in case they do decide to show up." "What are you doing Layla?" "Locking down the house." I went outside and locked the gates. Shut off all the lights inside and outside the house. "Knowing his crazy family, they might come to the house." Gina laughs. "Girl you stupid you locking down shop like its Fort Knox. What about Shelia and Izzy." "Sheila has the code." I grabbed our drinks Gina grabbed the bottle, and we headed for the theater room and batten down the hatches in that room. "Girl you are hilarious you really mean what you say." "Yes! Yes I do." As I turned on the television, I noticed a picture of Elliott on the stand. I focus on his image, those old feelings kindled for a second. "I loved Elliott. When he came back into town, I detected something about him was off. I deceived myself by ignoring that sensor that kicks in when something is not right. Convincing myself it was Elliott the man I loved he would never take advantage of me, we had a history, he loves me." "No, Layla he did not love you for if he did, he would have never treated you with such disrespect. He would have been supportive, protective, and respected you as a woman, wife, and mother of his children. Karma is something else it comes back to bite you when you least except it. Scriptures says don't be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever one sow, that will he also reap." "I never imagine the possibility of him mistreating me. God placed obstacles in the way presuming I would get the picture that Elliott and I did not belong together. Elliott was not the one God had chosen for me." "I led myself into this situation." "Layla you are being hard on yourself. Elliott did not consider the value of marriage. For heaven, sakes look at his parents' marriage. He grew up in an atmosphere believing such treatment is normal. God said love your wives as God loved the church. As for your emotional state, grief is talking right now your emotions are high. The sense of lost, anger and hostility is normal. You held in and been through so much, I am surprised that you did not lose it a long time ago. The bright side is you get to move forward and find happiness. In time, God will help blot out those memories and instill new ones. Accept what is, and seek the possibilities that lie ahead. Yes, God did give you signs, except your love for Elliott blinded you. Don't fault yourself for loving Elliott. Learn from the past. Your eyes are open, you see, and know that was not real love." "But it was real for me Gina. How do I overcome those feelings? How do I ever trust or love again?"
Chapter Eight

Gina and I watched television for an hour. "Layla enough drinking you need to get out we can go to the Carnival." "No, I really don't want to be around a crowd of people." "You rather sit here and drink yourself into a comma? Come on the air will do you good." I took a deep breath. "Fine we can go." I went to the bedroom got my purse. "I'm ready." Gina eyed me, "You're kidding right!" "What?" "You are not going out in public with me looking like that." "Ah, come on Gina it's a carnival." "True, although you don't have to go out there looking as if you're ready to wash windows. Besides, you will be with me so represent. Come on we will find you an outfit." As we head to the bedroom Gina, mumbles under her breath. "Lord please give me strength." "I can hear you." I took a quick shower and when I came out there laid on the bed a beautiful peach sundress. "Nicole and I figured it is time to bring back the real Layla." "I love it." I tried it on and it fit perfectly. Gina did my make-up and hair no gray hairs showing. Love it. "Aww, my girl is back." I looked in the mirror. WOW! Is that me?" I forgot how artistic Gina is she can take an average person and turn them into a beauty queen.

We're about to head out and a car drives up front. I cut off the bathroom light, and we ran to the theater room. "Who is it?" "I don't know I can't see I cut off the porch lights remember." "Can you see the car?" "Yeah, but I can't make out the person." The person went around back to the gate. Snap I thought I locked that gate. He walked to the garage door and starts messing with the lock. Oh, crap, he is trying to break in; I took Daniel's plastic bats out of the hallway closet, took off my sandals, and gave Gina the other bat. "That's okay I got something." She shows me a can of shaving cream. "Really, Gina what are you going to do give him a shave?" "My bag I thought I picked up the hair spray." "What! Hair spray was you going to do his hair?" "No, make a torch with the lighter." "Gina take the bat you hit him low; I will hit him high." Gina took the bat we headed down to the kitchen. She was on one side of the entrance I was on the other. The person came into the kitchen and I whack him across the head. Gina hits him in the stomach. "Ouch! He screamed, "What the...?" He fell to the ground. "What the heck? Stop!" We started to beat the mess out of him. "Layla Stop!" I stopped, turned on the lights. It was my brother Alex. Gina was still hitting him. "Gina stop its Alex!" Gina looking crazy hair flying all over the place ready to swing again she stopped and looked. "Oh, boy." "I am so sorry we thought you were a burglar." "What the heck is going on? Why are you in the dark?" We helped him up. "Are you all right are you hurt Alex?" "No, yeah I'm good." "What are you doing here Alex?" "Well hello to you to sis I figured my place was by your side during your time of need." "No, I'm sorry I was not expecting you. We could have hurt you Alex." "Oh, please sis you swing like a girl." Alex pulls me over to him and hugs me. "I'm sorry for your loss kiddo." He gave me a kiss on my forehead. Alex turns to Gina. "You on the other hand," he points at Gina and laughs. "What's up Dodge?" She laughs. "No one has called me that name since high school. Come here." She hugs him. "Why didn't you call?" "I did sis and I got your voicemail." I took out my cell. "My battery is dead; I forgot to charge my phone." "Why are you two in the dark?" "Well we were on our way to the carnival." "Oh I see." Alex gives me a weird glance. "You are on your way to the carnival. Are you sure you are up for that?" "Yes, Alex I am besides this will keep me from pondering on my loss." "Where are the kids?" Gina and I looked at each other, "At the carnival." "Where is your significant other Alex?" "We broke up I am riding solo sis. I told you months ago." I looked at him. "Well Alex your sister needs a break from the drama, and I need to get out. You drive dear brother Daniel and Nicole will go crazy when they find out you are here." We walked out to his car and Wow! A new 2014 black Jaguar sitting in front of the house. "Mmmm, you must be doing well for yourself Alex." "I'm surviving Dodge." He replies with a smirk. "Ladies." He opens the car doors; we get in and head to the carnival.

During most of the car ride, Alex condemned me of my decision to go to the carnival. Explaining the value of doing for others instead of myself thank the heavens Gina jumped in I nearly lost my composure. I have no problem doing for the misfortunate; my problem is doing for the greedy instead of the needy, being a person's doormat and selling my soul to the devil. I kindly took his insults and laughed. "Alex, stop talking and drive. I need this time to myself. Lucy has everything under control on her end." "Layla, what's going on with you?" I glared at Alex in is rear view mirror and turned my head to view the oncoming sites. "Alex sometimes you need to know when to leave things alone." I grabbed his IPod and tuned him out for the rest of the ride.
Chapter Nine

As always, the Barton Hills family carnival is the biggest attraction for our town. I love coming to the carnival. Families are bonding, playing games, riding rides, and dancing. The smell of grilled hamburgers, and hotdogs freshly made cotton candy, not to mention the view of the bright lights made you forget your troubles and become a kid again. We get to the carnival and see Sheila and Izzy at the main entrance. They spotted us and scurried over Shelia yells, "I've been trying to call you for the last two hours. Your ex in-laws are blowing up my phone." "Oops sorry Shelia I did not charge my phone." "Well they said they are coming to the house. You should call them before they head this way." I took Sheila's phone and Alex keys and headed to his car. I called the last number. "Charlene?" "Hi Layla we've been trying to call you, are you and the kids okay." "We are fine." "Well good, we are coming to the house." "No Charlene I am not up for company." Charlene sucks her teeth. "Well the family wants to spend time with the kids." "Really, well the kids are at a church function right now." Elliott's uncle yells in the background. "Tell her to make sure she picks up some liquor and beer. Ask her what she cooked." Charlene tried to cover the phone, but I heard him. "Charlene I will see you and your family on Friday," and I hung up the phone. I got out the car took Shelia phone apart, and headed back to the main entrance. Shelia views me. "Is everything okay? Are they on their way? Why did you take my phone apart?" "No, and I don't care I'm not in the mood to be around his family." Alex approaches me. "Never mind that, sis you should be with his family mourning the loss of Elliott." "Sweetie I agree with Alex on this affair. I understand your feelings towards his family, yet I would go regardless to show my respects. You must turn the other cheek." I could not believe what I was hearing Gina telling me to turn the other cheek. Wow! I've been doing that for years. Alex shook his head in agreement. "Sis Gina is right you were his wife, and as a child of God you should do what's right." I was in awe of the comments. It kills me how people use God to guilt trip you into doing their bidding. I backed away and screamed "Child of God! What is expected of me! You are kidding! I am doing what is expected of me although it's for a man that ridiculed, lied, cheated, and made my life a living nightmare. I owe no one nothing! I'm tired of everyone expecting me to rollover and be a doormat. My God, it bewilders me how people have high expectations from others and none from themselves." At this point, everyone was staring at me and did not expect what was coming next, not even Shelia.

"How would you feel being married to someone who blames you for everything he does wrong? Lies and assumes you are too stupid to decipher the truth. Tells you I don't know how to love you. I can't love you the way you love me or tells you a person can be in love with two people at the same time. My favorite, I don't understand you. If those games don't play he'll threaten to take your children away to gain control over you. Enlighten me Alex, how do you comprehend the mental abuse? How do you heal, forgive, or grieve when all that consumes you inside is bitterness, rage, and regret?" Shelia walks over to Gina, "How much did she have to drink?" "She drank the entire bottle." "By herself!" "Well, yeah." "Oh, no." "Why what's wrong." "Layla does not drink and when she does, everything comes out, she bares her soul."

"No one here besides Shelia knows what I have been through. So don't judge my actions without knowing what caused my actions Alex!" Glaring with anger, I tried to formulate my words before lashing out. However, I could no longer sustain the overwhelming wrath burning inside. I'm tired of people assuming they can take advantage of me because I don't react to their asinine behavior. "When his mother told Elliott to tell me their family comes first what did I do, I moved to the side. I told him no problem I will not interfere. However, I made sure he understood his mother had it twisted. For me, God and my children come first and she has no place in that equation!

When they call for money, I said nothing. He knew bills needed to be paid but did he care. No! I took care of the house, I paid the bills, brought the clothes everything! I had to be the provider! When his money ran out, he would beg me for money. When I did not have I had to ask God." Shelia mumbles, "They struck a nerve." "Therefore, dear brother don't judge if you don't understand what you are judging! It's easy for you to say don't do this; don't do that, this is not of God. Stop you're going to hell if you do that, because it is not happening to you! Maybe you should stay here and preach that message to them!" Feeling the buzz from me drinking I had to take a seat. Alex came over and sat next to me. "Alex, mom taught us to forgive and leave revenge to God, she never taught us how to deal with the anger, rage, and bitterness inside. I watched his family meddle, lie, and manipulate. The sad part is they forgot everything comes to an end. I never figured the end would be like this. If I knew beforehand, that we did not have a chance at happiness, and he was using me I would of never married Elliott. I fooled myself into believing Elliott and I had a future. I should have left and gave him everything; start new somewhere far away from the Hills." Everyone peers at me as if I lost my mind. "Alex you remember when I told you to take full ownership of the house." "Yeah I remember." "I'm glad you did Lucy told Elliott to go for the house in the divorce. Instead, Elliott tried to use it to manipulate me into staying married. Poor fool." Shelia and I laughed. I began laughing so hard I almost tinkled on myself. Alex looked at me. "That is not funny Layla." "Oh yes it is! Because when Elliott and his mommy found out they did not have a chance on getting the house the look on their faces was priceless." "I swear I seen horns sticking out from the top her head. Her eyes bulging she started grunted like a grizzly bear saying that's not right I don't know how you got away with that, telling Elliott to check with the lawyer." Now all of us were laughing except Alex. "Oh, lighten up dear brother. You remember that so-called business Elliott leaped into the mechanic-r-us fix it shop. What a stupid name that deal went under and he said it was my fault. I'm not sure how I backed him financially. I guess I was supposed to go in and fix cars too. I was stuck with that debt, and he refused to work and help me pay it off." "Okay Layla I get it I understand. Let's go back to the house you are drunk and emotional." "Oh, no I'm far from that besides I saved the best for last." "Layla enough we need to get you home." "No!" Alex stopped and I stared him right in the eyes. "I want you to get it. I want you to understand. I want you to feel what I feel, see what I see, and know what I know. Just this once I want you to understand what you men bring to the table the damage, the unnecessary grief, and heartache. I love you Alex and you're my brother aside from that you and Elliott fell from the same tree." Shelia walks over, "Okay sweetie, let's go, you had too much to drink. The alcohol is talking." "No, wait I want to hear this. What are you talking about Layla? I am nothing like Elliott." I stared at Alex. "Really, tell me Alex have you ever had an affair?" Shame appeared on his face. "Have you ever betrayed someone you cared about?" Shame turned into distress. "Layla it's not the same." "Yes, it's the same a sin is a sin and God does not categorize sin. The only difference is I did not partake in your sin, as his family. Charlene would bring ex-girlfriends to my house and lie about who they were assuming I was too stupid to see what she was doing. She is as underhanded and conniving as her mother. It's sad when you put your lots in together to plot evil. Because the very ditch you dig may be your own. I guess it was fun for them while it lasted. Playing with another person's emotions, trying to dominate for they hate seeing a person happy the sick bastards."

"Next, we have our dear cousin Olivia. The person I took in when she had nowhere to turn. Do you know how she repays me for my kindness dear brother? Alex face gaped with fear. She has an affair with my so-called hubby. Under my own roof, I never dreamed that wench would stab me in the back. God said a man's enemy would be a member of his own household. Do you know how I found out Alex? The guilt tormented Elliott it drove him crazy. He called me on my job like a coward and told me about his infidelity with Olivia, and blamed me! Everyone's face went blank and was speechless. "Yeah! He told me it was my fault it happened." "There is a sticky part to that little dilemma a part which bewilders me even now. You had knowledge about Olivia and Elliott and did not tell me isn't that right dear brother." Izzy yelled. "What the hell! Alex you were aware and did not tell your own sister. Wow! Talk about loyalty." "Shut up Izzy you don't understand the situation." "Alex what is there to understand? She is your sister! If you had knowledge or inkling there was something going on you should have said something to Layla." "Izzy stay out of this it's between Layla and me. Layla you don't understand I was not sure if they were having an affair." "Alex you are a player and a cheater you sensed something was going on and didn't even bother to warn me. Tell me Alex; did you help Lucy cover up Elliott's infidelity?" "What No! I would not do that to you Layla." Izzy blurts out, "Cover it up how! How did they do that?" "Elliott and I got into a huge fight. I told him before the truth came out that something was not right between him and Olivia. I tried to give them a chance to tell the truth except neither one would." "Layla I don't follow who told you the truth." "Nicole told me the truth." Izzy and Gina blurt out "What!" Shelia mumbles to Gina "Remember that thing I had to tell you." "I told Elliott to get out and Olivia to go back to Chicago. Then dear old Lucy steps in and poof Olivia is living at her house. The mother-in-law takes in the mistress. She was conscious of the sorted affair and tried to cover. She took Olivia in and said she only did it because Olivia is family. The woman doesn't even know Olivia. The hurtful part of it all was when it came out; Elliott concern was not how his wife felt. Is she mad, will she ever forgive me, can we rebuild our marriage? His concern was for his mistress. I stood there laughing at him, and told him may God forgive him that heartless son of a bitch." Everyone was quiet and pity was in their eyes. "Oh, lighten up people. Accept what is, right Gina for the existence and grief of that relationship is over." I got up and walked away more like stumbled. Alex came after me. "Wait Layla you don't understand. I did not want to jump to conclusions." "Jump! Get away from me Alex you are like the rest to them. You are like every other man out there. I am not sure who is worse you or his family. You should have told me Alex and saved me from all this heartache."
Chapter Ten

David sees me stumbling and asks Ms. Grace to watch the boys and came running over. "Layla what's the matter? Are you okay?" "Oh, David I don't...." The next thing I was puking up in the rose bush. Izzy ran over with Alex right behind. "Don't touch her Alex! I got you Layla." "What happened?" "She had a break down David." David looks at Alex and Izzy with a quizzical stare. "We have to get her out of here before the children sees her like this." "Okay, we got you Layla." Izzy helps me to David's car. Somewhere during the ride home, I passed out. "Is she going to be okay?" "Yeah, she will have a headache in the morning. Liquor and Layla don't mix." "You seem quite knowledgeable about my Layla. You care about her don't you?" David eyed Izzy. "Yes I care." "Hmm. Is she aware of how much you care for her?" David glanced at Izzy. "I'm sure Layla is aware." "Hmm, are you in love with her?" David was surprised and was about to answer then his phone rings. "Hi Ms. Pauline, yeah could you please drop the boys at my house later. "Is around ten fine?" "Yeah, ten is good thanks." "Is everything alright David?" "Yes, everything is fine Ms. Pauline. I'll see you then." "Alright." David hangs up. Izzy eyed him. "Well are you going to answer my question?" David gives Izzy a vague glance. "Are you concerned?" Izzy smiles "Always." David smiles at Izzy's response. "Well it's good to know she has you to watch out for her." "Damn right so you better watch your step Casanova I got my eye on you." David laughs. "Casanova?" They stare at each other with a faint smile. "Tell me what happened. Why was she drinking?" "Poor girl her life has been a living hell. That no account husband of hers and his family twisted her life. Not to mention her own family stabs her in the back this is all too surreal." "What are you talking about?" "Her cousin Olivia and Elliott had an affair." David became angry and disturbed at the news. "Oh David stop the car I have to puke." David pulls over and gets me out the car and Izzy helps me to the side. "When did this happen?" "Not sure why?" "That bastard is lucky he is already dead." David punches the car. "Hey take it easy." Izzy replies. I call out to him. "David." David calms himself and comes over. "What's the matter?" "Nothing Layla let's get you home."

The next morning I woke up to a bird singing and a massive headache. "Oh, shut up!" I threw a shoe at the window so the bird would fly away. I laid there holding my head trying to remember what occurred last night, wondering if I made a fool out of myself. Izzy comes in, "Hey, how are you feeling?" "Oh, Izzy, please stop yelling. What happened last night? My head feels like it's going to explode." "Well sweetie you had little too much to drink. You don't recall what happened?" "No, not really I remember yelling at Alex and the scent of roses." "Yeah, well you kind of gave your dear brother a mouth full and bared your soul of the havoc you are going through. Why didn't you tell me about Olivia?" "What? I mentioned Olivia." "Yes, you did." "Was David there?" "David came after you exploded on Alex. Why you ask?" "Umm, no reason." "Well in regards to your knight, he made you a little cure for your hangover." I look at the glass. "What is that and why is it green?" "Not sure but David guarantees it will get you back on your feet." Shelia comes up "Its David Layla." "Tell him come up." Izzy respond, "Hmmm, I am not sure if I want you two kids alone in your room." I threw a pillow at her, "Shut up." David enters Izzy and Sheila glare at him. "Hey Lay. How are you feeling?" "Okay, sorry for ruining your evening with Jonathan." Izzy and Sheila still in the room I eyed both of them. "Oh, we will get out of your way." The girls leave, and closed the door. "Okay you want to tell me why you went on a binge last night." "No not really, it was stupid and irresponsible." "Well you are grieving." "No, I'm sure that is not what I am doing right now." I sat up to drink David's magical cure. "Ugh! David this is terrible." "Drink it, trust me it will put you back on your feet. Layla, you and Elliott had your differences still you loved him." "No, David I cared for Elliott. David I know the drill forgive and reconcile your indifferences. However, that was not the case with our relationship. I tried to stick it out in the beginning for the sake of the children, but I was done." "Did you two try counseling?" "No, why would we go to counseling? So Elliott can manipulate the shrink or talk about his needs and wants, tell the shrink he does not understand me, and everything is my fault even the relationship with his mother. No thanks David. I'm far from perfect but I don't intentionally disrespect or treat people like dirt. Despite everything, I'm trying my best not to harden my heart, and I'm failing miserably. Why are you asking me this? You have seen what I went through. The drinking, carousing, cheating, and the disrespect how much more was I supposed to take." "I get it Layla, do you? I get you tried, and the longer you stayed the more problems you went through. Aside from that you are not seeing one thing." "What am I missing David?" "IT IS FINISHED Layla. It's over no need to be upset over situations you cannot change and you're right you are failing miserably because you're trying to overcome. God wants to help you through this but you have to let him. I realize what I am telling you seem harsh though I would not be a friend if I allowed you to continue hurting yourself, and not see the truth. God says the truth will set you free. Are you aware of the different stages of grief? If not you are in for a roller coaster ride. You say you are not grieving so why the outburst of anger." "David you don't know everything so I don't expect you to understand." "Well help me understand. Who are you mad at Layla? Elliott, yourself, Olivia, his mother, or Alex?" "What do you know about Olivia?" "Everything Lay I know everything." All I could do was look at David. "Guilt, anger, hostility, stress, fear, and lashing out are normal reactions when you are dealing with grief. You will even replay everything you went through in your mind. Trying to figure out what went wrong or if you could have done things differently. Layla right now you have a double portion of grief. You have to deal with the things Elliott put you through, and his death. People may not understand nor see that you are hurting and confused you have to remember this is about you not others. You have to do what is best for you, and I think seeking counseling will help resolve some of the issues." "What! No, I don't need counseling." "Yes, Layla you do. It will help you put things in perspective. Now the first step is to understand what you will experience, during your grieving period. After, I want you to do something for yourself." "What is that?" "Accept, forgive, and come to terms with everything. Do you remember the serenity prayer?" "Yeah I do." "Good because bottom line is you cannot control what others do, you can only control what you do Layla. You have the power to choose. It's time you realize how powerful that gift is because it can cause you to reap good seed or bad seeds. You need to forgive everyone even his family and let them go. Most of all forgive and love you." I cried and David hugged me. He was right I was mad at everyone especially myself for staying and enduring the pain and suffering. "David that is easy to say but hard to do." "Yeah I know but remember you are only keeping your soul captive if you hold on to that hurt. God released you and Elliott. Now you must move forward. Forgiving Elliott and his family does not mean you are giving them control nor does it mean you have to deal with his family. Forgiveness is a must reconciliation is a choice. Scripture says for if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. As far as reconciling God gave us the gift to chose, you don't have to make his family apart of your life if they cause confusion for our God is not the author of confusion."

"Learn from your experiences Layla one day God may use you to help someone else that is going through the same thing." "I'm not sure about that David these days I'm no use to myself much less to anyone else." "Not true, yes you been through a lot and right now it seems as if the cycle will never end. Except this cycle has and another one will come and guess what. You will have the strength to rise above that one too. We all go through challenges, and how we deal with those challenges is what develops our character. Now this is your time to heal Layla take your time. For God has all the time in the world." "Thanks David for everything you have always been there for me." "I always will be as long as you need me."

I cried and David hugged me. He was right I must move past the hurt and pain and forgive. We sat there for a couple of minute's man; I forgot how it felt to be consoled in a time of hurt and pain. I cannot remember the last time Elliott hugged me. All I remember was crying, arguing, and fighting with Elliott. Begging God to remove the misery and pain. Remembering times, I would drive home wondering what new drama to expect when I get here. Sitting in my car praying for strength to deal with what was on the other side of the door. At that moment, I did the oddest thing I inhaled a deep whiff of David. "Are you sniffing me?" "Yeah, you smell good." We laughed. "Well at least you're laughing that is a good sign."

The doorbell rang continuously. "I'll get that you stay here and drink your cure." David went down stairs looked around and no one was in the house. He opened the door and was shock to see Jerrod Hennessy. "Hey, David is Layla here." "Yeah." They stood there looking at each other. "Well can you tell her that I am here? I would like to offer my condolences for her loss." David took a deep breath; "Sure, I will go get her." David came upstairs "Jerrod is here to see you" "What, why?" "He wants to give you flowers." David said in a sarcastic tone. We went downstairs. "Hey, Layla." "Hi, Jerrod." "I wanted to stop by and give you my condolences for your loss." Jerrod hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. "Thank you Jerrod that is sweet of you." "I haven't seen you at church so I figured I'd stop by and check to see if you needed anything. I put my card in there so don't hesitate to call. When is the funeral?" "It's tomorrow one o'clock at the Gilmore Funeral home." "Okay, I will be there." "All right thanks again Jerrod." Jerrod smiled and eyed David. "See Ya, Jerrod." David slams the door. "What was that about? Why did you slam the door in his face?" "I don't like that guy. He is a wolf in sheep's clothing." "Well it was nice of him to come out of his way to give his condolences." "Layla be careful you may lead him to view you as easy prey. Especially at a time when he senses, you are at your weakest." "Well he can be foolish because I have no intentions of giving Jerrod or any man the time of day.

Chapter Eleven

After that weird visit with Jerrod, I realized tomorrow is the funeral and I still have last minute items to complete. "Where is everyone?" "Not sure when I came downstairs no one was here." I grabbed my cell to call Shelia. "Hey, Layla is everything all right." "Where are you? The funeral is tomorrow and I..." "Calm down girl we will be there in a few. Everything is completed and on schedule. How are you?" "Better now, David made me a cure for my hangover." David waves to get my attention. "Hey, Lay I am going to the house to check on the boys I will be back." "Okay." "Layla do me a favor and check on the casserole. I put it in the oven before I left. It should be finish by now." "Sure, where did you guys go?" "Relax Layla go take a shower, set the table for an old fashion family dinner. We will be there in a few bye." She hangs up on me. Okay what are you up to Sheila.

An hour pass, table is set, and the casserole is ready. The doorbell rings it was David and the boys. "Hey mom." "Hey you, what were you two doing all day?" "Playing video games can Jonathan and Mr. David stay for dinner?" "Sure if they'd like." "Sure we would like to stay." "Mom Mr. David said he is going to teach me how to shoot a bow and arrow, and take me camping." "Really, sounds like fun." "Yeah mom you can come to right Mr. David." "Sure she can. It will be fun." "No, I'm not the camping type plus bugs give me the creeps." "Aww, please mom." David mimics the boys "Please mom." "All right I will consider it now both of you go upstairs and get cleaned up for dinner." "Okay." The boys run upstairs. "David I've never been camping, I'm a city girl." "Come on camping is not that bad. How about I rent an RV you can sleep in complete with running water, air conditioning the works the boys and I will sleep under the stars." "Hmm, sleeping under the stars; you make it sound lovely." "It can be." I glanced at David and he gives me an eccentric stare. Now I have goose bumps. "Come on it will be fun. Change of scenery, get away from the Hills." "Now you're talking, a trip might be what I need. I'm in! You sold me on the idea." "All right! You're going to love it Layla. Fresh air, the outdoors, we can tell the kids scary stories around the campfire." I laughed its cute how his eyes light up, and his boyish side comes out when he talks about the trip. I tried to figure David out. I wonder why he is not married. Is he scared or does he enjoy being detached so he can play the field. "Lay I will work out the details and you pack." "One thing David you will have to convince Nicole on the idea." "Ouch! Okay, I'm up for the challenge." We both laughed "Okay good luck with that. I can't wait to see you try." I paused for a moment. "David for all that it's worth, I want to thank you for spending time with Daniel. Elliott did not spend quality time with him the way you do." "Well he is a great kid." David glanced over at the table. "I'm sorry you're having company Jonathan and I can stay another night." "No, only the girls and the children Sheila wants to have an old fashion family dinner. Now what is this about bows and arrows?" "Yeah, Daniel asked if I can teach him the arts of archery. Jonathan and I go to the archery range twice a month." "Really, sounds fun, and relaxing." "It is you should come Layla it will help you relax and relieve some of your tension." David starts massaging my shoulders. The doorbell rings. "Who can that be?" I open the door. It was my cousin Michael along with his wife Rebecca and their daughter Emma. "Hey cuz!" "Hey yourself what are you doing here?" I hugged Rebecca and Emma. "Rebecca you are gorgeous. Emma you are all grown up. How did you guys get here?" "Shelia and Alex picked us up from the airport." "How is Aunt Trish?" "Check for yourself." Michael moved to the side, and there she was our favorite Aunt. Trisha Scott. "Oh, darling how are you I'm so sorry for your loss?" It was as if I was hugging mom the sweet smell of pink sweet pea. "Aunt Trish you're here!" "Shhh, no tears sweetie Auntie is here everything is going to be fine."

Trisha Scott, the greatest Aunt in the world and still beautiful. She had black shoulder length hair, with streaks of gray in the front; cream color complexion, dark brown eyes, stood at five feet five inches, and married to Benjamin Scott. Besides my parent's, I've never perceived two people more in love then Aunt Trish and Uncle Ben. What is it about the older generation? How do they keep that spark that never seems to die out? When mom and dad beheld each other, it was with love not with contempt. How did they find that type of love?

"Your Uncle is flying in tomorrow he sends his love. How are you holding up?" "Better now that my family is here." She sees David. "David?" "Hi Mrs. Scott." "My goodness, how are you dear? How is your mother, and son?" "I'm well; mom is fine she is coming tomorrow and Jonathan is good he is upstairs with Daniel." "Oh." Sheila jumps in "Who is ready to eat?" Oh yeah everyone exclaims. "Nicole, please get the boys." "Okay mom." The doorbell rings again. It was Alex and my cousin Eric. We all go crazy especially Izzy. "Hey, cousin I'm sorry for your loss. Alex called and told me I had to come to make sure you were all right. Hey, what's up David been a long time." "Yeah." "How are you?" "Everything is good. I want to thank you for watching over my cousins." Then Shelia blurts out. "Okay everyone let's eat." We sat and had an old fashion Harrington family dinner. I love having my family around happy, and reminiscing about the old days. After dinner, everyone headed for the living room. Aunt Trish notices the blinking light on my answering machine. "Layla you have messages dear they may be important." I began playing the machine...

Message one received Monday at 6 p.m. beep... "Layla this is Lucy call me so I can let..." Delete.

Message two received Tuesday at 5 a.m. beep... "Hey, Layla this is Charlene call me when you get this message so I can let you..." Delete.

Message three received Tuesday at 1 p.m. beep... "This is Lucy called me back when you get home. I am sending Elliott's Aunt over to stay with you. Oh, Elliott's cousin needs you to buy his ticket. Call me so..." Delete.

Message four received Wednesday at 6 p.m. "This is Charlene where are you! I came by the house and no one was there. I need..." Delete.

Aunt Trish deleted the last message. "Sweetie, after tomorrow you can put everything behind you." She walked away, and headed toward the living room. Shocked by Aunt Trish unexpected reaction Izzy came over. "Layla who was that woman, that was weird and frighteningly eerie. I thought she would blow." "Yeah, I agree that was weird." I headed toward the patio. "Are you coming Layla?" "In a minute I need to get some air." I stepped outside the air is crisp normal for April. The sky is clear, full of bright stars too numerous to count. The surroundings were placid no commotion, no loud noises only the sound of crickets chirping. I closed my eyes, inhaled a deep breath, and exhaled. "Hey, do you want some company?" I opened my eyes, and smiled it was David. He placed his jacket around my shoulders and I inhaled his scent of Gucci cologne. "Are you sniffing me again?" We both laughed. "Yes, I love your cologne." It was better than smelling marijuana and alcohol. "Hmm, it's so beautiful and serene I don't remember the last time I enjoy sitting out on the patio." "Come with me I want to show you something." David extends his hand. "Where are we going?" "You'll see." We get into his truck a black Chevy Silverado. He puts on some jazz music. We approached the lake, and I saw a gazebo trimmed in lights. "Wow, David that is beautiful." "The crew and I built it for the Mayor's ceremonies." "Really you built that! I would love to have one in the backyard." I walked up and sat on the bench. The view was amazing. The reflection of the moon shimmered off the water, and appeared so close as if you could reach out and touch it. David turned up the music. "May I have this dance?" I giggled, "Sorry David I lack skills in that area." "What, you never slow danced before." "No, never." David viewed me took my hand, "First time for everything." "All right David, I warned you." "Shut up and dance with me." I smiled and on that night, I slow danced for the first time under the stars with a man who smelled as good as he looked. He held me close so close; I was able to feel the warmth of his body. "Are you cold" "No I'm fine."

Meanwhile.....

Izzy joined everyone in the living room. The family was joking around, playing music enjoying each other's company. Izzy and Eric reminisced on the old times they shared and was planning new ones. Shelia notices I was not in the living room. "Where's Layla?" "She's sitting out on the patio." Sheila checks outside. "No she's not. Where's David?" Gina peers out the window. "David's truck is missing maybe he took her somewhere." Izzy exclaimed "Well good for her, it's about time she relaxed." Eric's phone buzzed he reads the message, walks over to Alex and they head for the patio. Alex comes back taps Michael on the shoulder and they head back to the patio. Izzy watched them and follows. "Hey, is everything okay?" "Yeah we're good back here just catching up with the family. Did you find Layla?" "No, but we believe she is with David." "Great, I'll call him." "Would you gentlemen like something to drink?" "Naw, we're good." Izzy leaves and the guys continue to talk. "Layla cannot find out about this. There is no telling how she is going to react." "Alex we cannot keep it from her. She needs to know." "No, she has gone through enough. I let her down once I am not going to do that again." Alex calls David, and Izzy calls me....

In the mix of us dancing David's cell rings, then mine. "Hello." "David we have a problem." "What's going on?" "Layla where are you?" "I'm with David at the lake." "Oh, are you two friends having a great time at the lake... at night... with no chaperone, hmm." I smiled "Izzy stop and yes it is lovely out here is something wrong, are the children okay." "No, nothing is wrong everyone was wondering where you went. Well I see you are in more than capable hands. I will let you tend to whatever you were doing." Izzy giggles. I glanced at David trying to figure out whom he was talking too. His facial expression became stern and unreadable. "All right we are on our way back." David hangs up his phone and approaches me. "We have to go Alex wants to talk to me about security at the funeral." "Security? Why would I need security at the funeral?" "Well it is Elliott's family." I scoffed, "You have point."

We reach back home David and I was greeted by Alex. "Sorry sis but I need to borrow David for a moment." "Sure Alex, but first may I speak with you." Alex and I walked to the side of the house. "Alex I wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday. I'm not going to blame you or anyone else for my problems with Elliott. I hope you can forgive me." "Sis I love you, and I am sorry for not supporting you during your time of need. I was selfish, and wrapped up in my own world. I should have been watching out for you. I promise that will never happen again." We hugged, "Now David and I need to talk. You go in relax and have fun with the family." "Sure. David thanks for the dance." I kissed him on the cheek. "You're welcome Layla." As I entered the house, a car drives up the path. It was Trevor Elliott's brother. "Hey Alex what's up?" Alex shook his hand. "David this is Trevor Elliott's brother." David shook his hand and right away David discerned something was not right. "Sorry for the loss of your brother." "Yeah thanks I can't believe he's gone. Well anyway is Layla in I wanted to check to see if she needs anything." David focus fixed on Trevor. Alex was about to answer but David intervened. "She is fine; she is in with her family and getting the boys ready for bed." Trevor eyed David with a quizzical look. "Boys? You mean Daniel." "No, Jonathan and Daniel, Jonathan is my son." Trevor's enthusiasm dipped, "Oh okay well tell her I stopped by, and I will see her tomorrow." Trevor leaves eyeing David. Alex stares at David, and says, "What the hell was that? Don't you think you were a tad bit territorial?" "Alex that guy is up to something. He was too eager to see Layla." "Who Trevor, he is Elliott's brother and he is married." David looked at Alex. "What does that mean?" "I don't think his brother is that low David." "Then why come here this late without his wife, or assume she needs anything knowing her family is here?" "Maybe she did not what to come to the house." "Yeah, well I have never seen a happy grief stricken brother before." "David I can't image Trevor playing Layla he has always been in her corner when it came down to their family." "Alex you thought the same about your cousin Olivia and look what she did open your eyes Alex." Alex had no response. "These days your own family will stab you in the back without a second thought. Now let's discuss security."

After thirty minutes David and Alex returned, I asked him if everything was okay. He told me all was fine but his demeanor told me different. As the night continued David engages in conversation with the Aunt Trisha, which surprised me he is usually quiet. "So David, are you seeing anyone?" "No, Mrs. Scott not at the moment but my heart is open to possibilities." "Oh that's good David for I'm positive all will change soon." "Not sure about that Mrs. Scott." "Oh dear I am. God has a way of changing circumstances." I exited to the kitchen to finish cleaning said my good nights, and headed to bed. For the rest of the family, the night was still young. Hearing laughter and seeing smiling faces brought hope, assurance and a smile to my face. This helps me foresee that even in the midst of chaos and profound sorrow. A strong family unit and a house full of laughter can bring serenity and calm a raging war within one's soul.
Chapter Twelve

"The house is beautiful David! I love the french windows, the landscaped garden, and gazebo out back. The master bedroom is huge. I love the fireplace and the private patio. Oh, I would love that for our bedroom. The second bedroom is perfect. The private bathroom and walk in closet was a great idea. It's perfect; the buyers will love the house." "Do you really love the house?" "Yes!" "It's ours." "What!" I woke up. WHAT the heck was that?

Ugh! I can't fall back to sleep after that weird dream. I tossed and turned trying to get back into my sleep zone. Ugh! I kick the covers off in frustration. Why am I dreaming about David? We never thought of each other that way. Is this part of the grief process? I get out of bed remembering the dream. Here it is I'm getting ready to put one man at rest, and dreaming of another. Can my life be any more confusing? Boy do I feel guilty. Should I have guilt feelings, sympathy, or remorse? Did Elliott have any when he mistreated his family or when he committed adultery? Mulling over this is giving me a headache. I get out of bed and headed downstairs. I stop to check on Nicole, she and Emma were sleeping. I checked on the boys, Jonathan and Daniel were sleep. I head downstairs towards the kitchen, and notice the doors to the den are open. I peeked in and saw David on the pull out couch. He stayed over, that's odd. I walked to get a closer view peeked, and smile. I headed towards the door to leave... "What's the matter can't sleep?" Crap, busted I woke him up, dang he is a light sleeper. "I'm sorry David I did not mean to wake you. I saw the doors open." "It's okay." He got out of bed, put on his tee shirt, and peeked out the den window. "You should be asleep we have a big day tomorrow." "Yeah," I turned my head as he puts on his shirt. "Yeah I know my sleep pattern is off, and I have a headache. I was going to see if I can find some aspirin." "Did you try drinking some warm milk?" "No." "Come I'll make you something for your insomnia." He takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. David pulls out the ingredients for his home remedy. "Trust me this will put you back to sleep." As he fixes his magic remedy of milk and honey my dream floods my mind. I sat at the table, and took notice of him. I'm still bewildered on why he isn't married. He believes in God, teaches at the church. Patient, caring, clean, physically fit for his age, WORKS! What is the problem? "Here you go one cure for insomnia." "Thanks David." "Are you okay Layla?" "Why you ask that?" Lord I feel so convicted right now. My dream keeps popping in my head making me speculate. "You seem as though you have something on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?" "Nope only, the same old stuff. Besides, I don't want to talk about me I would like to talk about you. Tell me something about David." "What would you like to know?" "I'm aware you like archery, dancing, camping, and pre-med." We both laugh. "What else do you do?" "I like horseback riding, spending time with the boys, cooking." "Ah, so you cook." "A little, I know my way around the kitchen." "Is there a special someone you eat those eloquent meals with?" I smiled, David smirks and eyes me. "No not at the moment." "Really, what happened to you, and Simone Dupree?" "Simone?" "Yeah, Simone I thought you two were a hot item." "No she and I went out a couple of time but nothing developed." "Why?" "She wanted more than what I was ready to give." "What would that be?" "A relationship." Woo talk about honesty. "What are you waiting for David? Simone seems to be a nice person." "She is, but she is not the one." "How do you know?" "I prayed and God showed me the real Simone." "Ah yes, pray without ceasing pray about everything." "That's right." "Okay, so if she is not the one, who is rightly, suited for Sir David." David fixed his focus on me. "Well we will have to wait and see now won't we?" "That is not an answer David." He laughs. "Well that is all I got for you right now." "What about Jonathan's mom, have you heard from her lately?" A somber expression came upon his face. "No, I haven't seen or heard from her since Jonathan was born. I guess motherhood wasn't something she was looking forward too." I walked over to him and caressed his hand. "I'm sorry David I didn't mean to bring up bad memories for you." His facial expression softens. "It's okay, because when one door closes another always opens." He caressed my face; I drew closer towards him until... "Ahem sorry I didn't think anyone was up this time of hour." Oh, gosh Izzy. I acted as if I was putting the glass in the sink. Izzy had an inquisitive look on her face. "David made me a little cure for my insomnia." "Hmm hmm is it all better Lay?" "Yeah I was on my way back to bed. Thanks for the cure David." Izzy gives me the girl you know I busted you look. "Good night Layla." I rolled my eyes. "Good night Izzy." "I'm going to head back to bed too." Izzy steps in front of David. "Not so fast Casanova I want to have a word with you." Izzy waits until I was not in earshot of their conversation. "What do you think you're doing David?" "Nothing, I made Lay a sleeping cure." "You know what I am talking about. I am referring to what I almost walked in on." "Layla is not ready for a relationship she is too vulnerable, and I am not going to let anyone take advantage of her." "I would never hurt Layla I..." David paused as Izzy eyed him. "Izzy I am going to bed and I suggest you do the same tomorrow is a big day and I need to be alert." Frustrated by Izzy's accusations David heads back to the den and starts to workout. He hears a noise near the den entrance peeks out the window and notices the car he seen earlier still parked across the street. "Who are you and what do you want with Layla?"

Morning arrives, and the time has come to put all to rest. I'm not sure if I'm ready to view Elliott in a casket. Lord please let today go smooth, no issues, or outbursts. Let us mourn the loss and end this with goodbye. Sheila knock's "Layla the limos are here you ready." "No, but I don't have a choice." "No sweetie you don't. View it this way. In a couple of hours all of it will be behind you." I took a deep breath "You're right let's go." The doorbell rings it was Savanna, David's mother. I was happy, yet shocked she was coming to the funeral. Ms. Savanna was not fond of Elliott or his family. "Hi, Layla I wanted to come and support you during this time dear. I am sorry for your loss." "Thank you Ms. Richards and thank you for coming it means a lot." "You're welcome dear." Ms. Savanna greets Aunt Trish with a kiss and hug. "Trisha, how are you?" "I'm fine Savanna and you?" Ms. Savanna eyed David and me, "Oh all is wonderful dear just wonderful."

I called out for the children David grabbed my hands. "How are you holding up?" "Good as one can expect. I want to get this over with and put everything behind me." "I understand." David consoles me. Alex enters, "Ahem excuse me David I need to talk to you for a second. I want to go over some last minute security details." "Sure." I observed David, "its okay Layla I'm right behind you." The children came running downstairs yelling at each other. "Honey what's wrong?" "Daniel broke my purse strap! He is always playing! Now my outfit is ruined." "I said sorry." "Nicole its fine I can fix it while we are in the car." I hugged her for I perceived the purse is not the issue but the day. We all figured the sight of their Father in the casket would be difficult to handle. That is why I requested a closed casket. We headed toward the limos with David right behind as promised. He opens the limo doors for us to enter. As we head for the funeral, silence surmounted, not one word spoken by a soul the entire ride. David grabbed my hand, and I clinched his in response. Nicole began to cry Izzy grabs her and tries to consoles her. Instead, she moves to the other side of David, and he comforts and reassures her that everything will be all right. We reach the funeral home much to my surprise we are the first ones there. The front is beautiful. The water fountains were flowing. Bushels of red and white flowers displayed in the outer court area. Soft music playing and two white standing sprays were place in front of the chapel entrance. "Layla I will be back, we're going to check the building." David leaves with Victor, Alex, and Eric. Izzy questioned. "Why the security detail? I asked Eric about it but he brushed me off. What is going on? Was Elliott involved in something negative?" "Not that I'm aware of Izzy. I'm assuming they are worried that his family might start something." "Ah, I see their point."

We walked into the chapel and the arrangements were fantastic. Two fireside baskets on each end of the casket, on top the casket laid a beautiful long white spray and a vase of flowers on top a pillar in the corner. The girls and I went into the greeting area to get coffee and I hear... "Why are these flowers out here they should be inside with the rest." Ugh, Lord Lucy. I turned around, and there she was miss hot mess herself squawking. She sees me. "I want to talk to you" and heads straight for an open viewing room. Izzy implies, "Girl don't go in there." Lucy screams my name. "Layla!" I turned, and walked into the room. "How can I help you Lucy?" Lucy starts screaming. "Why didn't you return my phone calls? I told that girl to tell you to call me about the sleeping arrangements! Everyone is at my house, and I don't have room for that many people! Kurt wanted to come and I needed your help getting his bus ticket! Why did you only get me one limo! I told you I had a lot of family coming to this funeral!" While Lucy was ranting, I was about to say something in walks Aunt Trish with Izzy right behind. "Ladies is everything all right? I heard yelling." Lucy's demeanor quickly changed. "Why, hello Lucy, how are you? I'm sorry for your loss." "Oh, hello Trish I'm fine, thank you. I was telling Layla that poor Kurt had to miss Elliott's funeral. Elliott and Kurt were close and it would have meant a lot to Elliott if his cousin had attended." Aunt Trish glares at Lucy, views me then Elliott's casket from afar. "Well I am sure Elliott will not be offended that Kurt wasn't able to attend the funeral." Lucy scowls at Trish she was pissed you know that old saying if looks could kill. "Layla, sweetheart, go see if there are any lasts minute arrangements needed before the funeral commences. I want to have a word with Lucy." We looked at Aunt Trish. "Go ahead dear everything is fine." We left, Izzy asks, "You sure Lucy is going to be okay in there with Aunt Trish? Do you have 911 on speed dial? Girl, I'm calling Shelia and Gina." Izzy dials Gina. "Hey is Sheila with you?" "Yeah, why what's wrong?" "Well do either one of you have 911 on speed dial?" "Stop it Izzy, and come on."

We headed towards the chapel. The room was getting crowded. Alex and Eric friends came to the service; a couple of them are bouncers from the Mixer club, the others I was not familiar with nor did they know Elliott. Friends from the church and Elliot's family were already in the room. Then I noticed the casket was open. Victor went to close it and two big guys started arguing with Victor. "Gentlemen, at the request of the widow, the ceremony will be a closed casket." "Well his mamma wants it open." Alex and David heard the commotion David sees me heading over to the casket. "The casket stays closed." One guy steps forth, "Who are you?" "The widow and the casket will stay closed." David approaches and jumps in front of me. "Is there a problem gentlemen?" Both guys eyed David up and down then backed away "No, no problem here my apologies Mrs. Pennington." David questioned me. "Where were you? Are you okay?" David examines me as if I was injured. "Yes, I'm okay now I see why Alex wanted security." Victor approaches the podium and informs the guests that refreshments were outside in front if they would like something before the service consummates. As everyone heads to the refreshment area, Victor, Eric and Alex squared off the two front rows for family members. Charlene walks over. "Hi Layla, how are you?" Her eyes immediately fixed on David. "Great how are you holding up?" "I'm good thanks for asking. The place is lovely Layla thanks for everything." I really believe she meant that. "You're welcome, you should go and get a seat Charlene we are about to start." While in conversation with Charlene, I see Lucy coming out of the viewing room with Aunt Trish. Trish says a few more words to Lucy and both went their separate ways. Oh man, how I wish to had witness that conversation. Lucy's expression was unreadable I couldn't tell if she was rational or irrational she had no facial expression. Lucy made a call on her cell and yelled out "Don't come!" In that moment, someone calls my name. "Layla!" I turned around it was Trevor and his wife Katherine. "Hey, Trevor," he hugs me. "How are you feeling Layla? You look wonderful. I missed you at the wake and the family gathering." "Yeah I had some running around." Trevor looks at David. I was about to introduce them and David stops me. "Trevor and I met last night when he came to the house." Katherine and I were surprised at David's answer. "Hey, how are you man?" "I'm good." David's expression was stern. Trevor's smile dropped to a frown. "Layla I hope to see you after the service. I would like to talk to you." "Okay." David's piercing stare at Trevor scared me. Katherine bid me goodbye "Sorry for your loss Layla we must talk later." Katherine and Trevor walked away, and immediately she questions him. "When did you go over to Layla's house? There you go again doing your disappearing act." "Katherine it's not what you think." "Yeah right, I know you Trevor your brother's widow, really!" "Not here and not now the service is about to start. We can talk about this later Katherine."

The organist starts playing Victor addresses me, "We are ready to begin Ms. Pennington." "Okay thank you Victor." Alex and Eric began escorting people inside the chapel. "Sis, Eric, and I got this you go and have a seat." Alex phone buzzed, "I'm hoping you're calling with good news." David accompanies me to the seating area and Elliott's family looking on wondering if David was a friend or relative. We sat down and I questioned David, "Do you want to tell me what happened back there?" "His brother is a liar and a fake." "Wow, okay why do you say that?" "I will tell you later right now you have to get through this funeral." I was puzzled and curious of his answer. I gazed at him for a moment, turned away, and proceeded to listen to Victor.

"Good Day everyone I am the Funeral Director Victor Holtz I would like to express my deepest sympathy to Ms. Layla Pennington and family for the loss of Elliott Christopher Pennington on April 2, 2014. Ms. Pennington would like to thank everyone for coming together and supporting the family during this sorrowful time. Now I will turn the service over to the sister of the decease Charlene Pennington for the reading of the eulogy."

"Good afternoon everyone and thank you for coming out. Today is a sad day for all of us for we have loss an important member of the Pennington family my brother Elliott Christopher Pennington. Elliott was born January 5, 1976 to Lucy and Charles Pennington. Elliott was not only a wonderful brother and son he was a great husband and father."

"Okay wait what! Did she say wonderful husband and father?" Shelia and I were shocked completely dumbfounded. David noticed me fidgeting grabs my hand, and squeezed gently. I smiled at David. Lucy started crying, "Oh my baby is gone."

"He leaves behind his mother Lucy Pennington, Father Charles Pennington, brother Trevor Pennington, sister, me Charlene Pennington, son Daniel Pennington and his daughter Nicole Pennington and a host of nieces, nephews, uncles, aunts, cousins, and countless friends."

Izzy whispered, "Wow she did not even mention you messy, messy, and messy!"

"It warms my heart that so many people are here to share and supports us in this time of sorrow. We all share some wonderful memories of Elliott, but I will always remember him as my friend and protector. Everyone was aware that Elliott was my brother. If anyone messed with me, the consequences ended with him or her dealing with Elliott. No matter what the situation even if I started the argument, Elliott always had my back. I am sure that many of you had to deal with Elliott in one way or another. I want to say sorry for that most of you are aware little sisters can be a pain. However, Elliott did not make me feel that way. He always made sure I was safe and loved no matter what."

Shelia mumbled, "Well someone had to have her back. She always started mess. Where was Elliott when I smacked that bottle across her head?" Izzy comments, "In the backyard drinking, and getting high as usual." They laughed; even David had a smirk on his face. Lucy crying, "Oh my baby is gone." She gets louder and louder his father shaking his head. Izzy glanced at Lucy, "Y'all if she gets up and throws herself over Elliott's casket I am going to holler." Shelia and Gina laughed as Charlene continued...

"Elliott was many things to many people but I will remember him as loyal, ambitious, loving, and caring. Elliott always had the best intentions toward others and had a way of making your life feel full..."

"Yeah full of..." I was thinking Lord how much more lies do I have to take. I had the notion a eulogy is supposed to represent the way a person lived. David grabbed my hand in his and Charlene noticed and paused for a second and continued to read.

"Moreover, complete. I will always remember the sound of your laugh, the times we shared, and our conversations. You will always be remembered dear brother. Is there anyone here who would like to say a few words?"

Charlene glanced at me as if she wanted me to say something but his father Charles stood up and Charlene gave the floor over to him.

"I would like to say that my son was a good man and son. He loved his family, and he was a hard worker. I am sorry that he lived such a short time on this earth for he has a son that still needs his father. I thank God I had the chance to raise Elliott. I wished he had that same chance to raise his son."

As I listened to bull the more pissed I became. Elliott acted as if Daniel didn't exist. He did not teach my son a thing. If Daniel did not have the male's figures in my family, including David the only thing he would have learned from his father was how to drink, smoke, and how to use people. How much more do I have to sit through? Oh, great Lucy ready to talk. I can only imagine the tales she is going to utter.

"Elliott was a good son and understood the value of family. He was a good man and a good provider. He made sure his children did not want for anything. The community..."

Lucy stops in mid-sentence, and in walks Crystal. Lucy tried to continue talking except everyone's attention was on Crystal and two children. I could not help but notice the little girl looks like Elliott or is my mind-playing tricks. Crystal walked down and took a seat in the section Victor made for family members. Victor tried to explain the section was strictly, for family. She blurts out "I is family." Izzy comments, "This has Lucy written all over it." I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. Lucy has done many things. This was the most spiteful, evilest, and lowest. David put his arm around me; trying to comfort me only, I could not sit there any longer listening to lies or seeing Crystal. No, this is the final stroke. I got out of my seat, and headed for the exit. David and the girls followed. "I need to get out of here." Izzy grabs me, "Okay sweetie we are going to get you out of here." Eric and Alex approached me and tried to stop me from leaving. Izzy mouths off, "Let go of her Alex she wants to leave." "All right Layla trust me please let David take you though the side exit. The cars are parked over there" I kept pushing them off me. "Alex please I need to get out of here now." I made my way pass Alex to the chapel doors open them. "Oh, hell no!" Izzy bites. There she stood another archenemy the adulteress herself Olivia.
About the Author

MJ Andrews is a Native New Yorker who currently resides in Texas with her family. MJ hold a degree in Business Administration and works for an established fortune 500 company. The younger generation inspired her to write Every Woman's Nightmare in hopes they would understand, that choice is a powerful gift.

