>>Bruce: Oh, wow.
>>Adam: So, the Genie was, uh...
He's, uh, nanobots, or somethin'?
[Bruce laughs]
>>James: No. The Genie is a 
magical being. He's existent through--
>>Bruce: It doesn't make any sense.
>>Lawrence [whispering]: Fucking shit...
>>Bruce: You can't free a genie, take away 
his powers, and then he still has his powers.
>>James: You don't take away his powers!
They just FREED him! That's what I'm saying!
>>Bruce: Well, why would they ever FREE him then?
>>James: You take the collar off a dog, it's still a dog!
>>Bruce: No... The Genie's not a dog.
>>James: He's a genie.
>>Bruce: Right! Exactly!
>>Lawrence: God..
>>Bruce: But when you take the fuckin' off the Genie,
he's not a genie anymore!
>>Lawrence: God damn it, Rockstar.
>>James: Yes. He is.
>>Bruce: Genies are not dogs.
>>James: And it's not the collar. It's his wristbands.
THAT'S what keeps him contained.
>>Bruce: Oh, yeah. You're right. Yeah, you're--
>>Elyse: Ok. Let me ask you
 with the Little Mermaid. If they took her legs-
>>Adam: I saw the sequel.
>>James: Yeah.
>>Elyse: Is she still a mermaid?
>>Adam: But she gained a vag.
>>Bruce: They took her legs?
>>James [laughing]: That's true. 'Cause she got the vag.
>>Elyse: -without fins.
>>James: And it's because she got- 
she got vag, and the vag smells like fish.
>>Elyse: Oh...
>>James: All kinds of 
Easter Eggs they hide in those Disney videos.
>>Adam: There are. It's true.
>>Bruce: That sound's awesome!
>>James: Did you know it says "sex".. in the sky..
when Aladdin is fucking.. Jasmine in the ass?
>>Bruce: Did you come up with that one on your own? Or did somebody tell you?
>>James: Walt Disney came up with it. He told me.
>>Lawrence: Nice.
[Bruce laughs]
>>Bruce: Walt Disney?!
[♪♪]
>>James: He was like, "I love tits!".
>>Bruce: "And I hate Jews!"
[♪♪]
>>James: "And I hate Jews. FREEZE ME!"
[all laughing]
>>James [laughing]: He cuts his 
own head off with a saw. "Aughghghgh!"
[sawing sounds]
>>Adam: "I'm coming for you, Eva Braun!"
>>James [laughing]: He's gonna fuck Hitler's wife??
>>Adam: He left for her!
>>Bruce: Eva Braun's been dead for fifteen years.
>>Adam: Hey, what're we doing today, Lawrence?
>>Lawrence: We're doing Belly Grinding racing.
Remember awhile ago we did Quad Bike Grinding?
>>Bruce: Yeah.
>>James: No.
>>Lawrence: Now we're going to do
 Super Car grinding. So grind.
>>Adam & James: Ok.
>>Lawrence: Get ready to grind!
>>James: Is this a new... car? A new vehicle?
>>Bruce: It does look like a new car.
>>James: Way too soon, Adam! Way to soon!
[Bruce & Lawrence groan]
>>Adam: Way too soon. I'm sorry.
>>Bruce: Aw, c'mon...
>>Bruce: Hey, there's water all over the track.
>>James: Yeah, it's all wet!
>>Adam: It's kinda slow!
>>James: Don't get knocked off!
>>Adam: You ASS!!
>>Bruce: You're done. [laughs]
>>Adam: Well, thanks for watching, everyone. 
>>Lawrence: Well.. The race is over.
>>Bruce [laughing]: Right as gameplay to starts off,
>>James: Anyways.. So Aladdin..
[Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: immediately, knocked off.
>>Lawrence: Last place.
>>Lawrence: Oh, look at that.
>>Bruce: You have to fight for 1st, man!
>>Lawrence: Don't know if you remember that.
>>Bruce: They're not gonna give it to you. They hate you!
>>Adam: I know.
>>Bruce: The online 
community HATES us. You know that.
>>James: Alright. Use the speed here 
to whip yourself around this corner.
>>Adam: Uh-huh.
>>James: Schwoom!
>>Lawrence: Waa-cha!
>>Bruce: It's like Apollo- It's like Apollo 13.
>>Adam: I can do that.
>>James: Remember Gary Sinise?
>>Adam: They left him behind?
>>Bruce: You're gonna climb
all the way to 1st. I can feel it.
>>Lawrence: Here we go. Still doing it. Nice recover.
>>Bruce: Alright. Still in last place.
>>Lawrence: Just gotta drive back there a little bit.
>>Adam: Uhh...
>>Adam: Ok...
>>Bruce: Oh...
>>Lawrence: You got this.
>>Lawrence: Just drive down on the blue stuff.
>>Adam: Oh, that's not water!
>>James: That's not where you're supposed to go.
>>Lawrence: No. It tricked you.
>>Bruce: Oh, you thought it was water, and it's not!
>>Adam: You thought it was too, 
but you don't want to admit it!
>>Bruce [whispering loudly]: No, I didn't.
>>Bruce: That's water!
>>James: Ahh! That's real water!
>>Lawrence: I was gonna say, we 
should all pretend to be Disney Princesses, and then-
>>James: Fuck each other.
>>Lawrence: -we go on dates- And yes, see how-
see how long it takes for us to fuck each other.
>>James: Who do you think is the cutest Disney Prince?
>>Adam: Jack Sparrow.
>>Bruce: Disney Prince??
>>Bruce [laughing]: "Jack Sparrow."
>>James [laughing]: He said that without hesitation!
>>Bruce: Damn! That was so fast!!
>>Lawrence: -fucking huge.
>>Bruce: I was gonna say Michael J. Fox.
[James clicks tongue]
>>Adam & Bruce: 'Atlantis'.
>>James: Oh! 'Atlantis'!
>>Bruce & Lawrence: There we go.
>>Bruce: Yeah, you guys got it.
>>Adam: I was gonna say The 'Frighteners', but..
>>Lawrence: Took me a second. Yeah.
>>Bruce [laughing]: I don't think that's a Disney movie!
>>Adam: It was Miramax! I'm pretty sure.
[James laughs]
>>James: Mine's- Mine's the robot from 'SpaceCamp'.
[♪♪]
>>Jinx: How else would I take it?
>>James: The movie 'SpaceCamp'? 
You haven't seen the movie 'SpaceCamp'?!
>>Adam: Nope. Never seen it.
>>Bruce: No. Absolutely never seen it.
>>James: It's so good!
>>Bruce: That sounds so stupid.
>>James: It'd b- Me, having gone to Space Camp,
could really relate with the characters.
[Bruce chuckles]
>>Bruce: I know. You wanna talk 
about how you went to Space Camp. Who cares?
>>Adam: What about, uh.. What about The Rock 
from Escape from Witch Mountain?
>>Lawrence: Uh-oh!
>>James: Oh! That's a good one, too!
>>Bruce: That is a really good answer.
 What about the 'Sharkboy and Lavagirl'?
[all laugh]
>>James: That's also a good answer.
>>Lawrence: Both of them?
>>James: All of 'em are good.
>>Lawrence: Wouldn't it just be Sharkboy?
[Adam & Bruce laugh]
>>James: No. Lavagirl's also a prince.
>>Adam: I think all of this prince talk has gotten me hot.
>>James: Get it! Oh..
>>Lawrence: Oh..
>>Bruce: Oh, you gotta go right down the trench, there!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, where's your-
>>Adam: Oh! I see.
>>Lawrence: Where's your 
depth perception, there, Adam? Come on.
>>Adam: Uh... Got it.
>>James: Boost!
>>Lawrence: ZzzRRRmm.
>>James: Oh, cool angle!
>>Bruce: This is a Disney ride!
>>Lawrence: Pzzzooo!
>>Bruce: Uh-oh. WHOOOA!
>>James: You're just on Space Mountain!
>>Bruce: It's like Autopia!
[all laugh]
>>Adam: Don't go TOO fast!
[Bruce laughs more]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>Bruce & Lawrence: OoooOOH!
>>Bruce: Oh, man...
>>Adam: Dick. Move. Disney.
>>Lawrence: You did NOT go too fast.
I would be great, I think, to get sued by... some.. royalty.
>>James: Mm.
>>Lawrence: From a country no one's heard of.
>>James: Oh, that's a good answe- OH!
>>Lawrence: Ooh! Whoa!
>>Bruce: OH! ADAM OVERTAKES! OVERTAKES!!
[Adam laughs]
>>Adam: Oh, that was pretty awesome.
>>Lawrence: Damn.
>>Bruce: Nice job!
>>Adam: Errp! Nope! It's cool.
>>Lawrence: Oh, a little too much.
>>Bruce: And you probably blew it. I knew it.
[Adam laughs]
>>Lawrence: Just drive up the wall!
>>James: Um..
>>Adam: Someone's house!
>>James: I wanna get sued by Mark Wahlberg.
>>Lawrence: Actually, no?
>>James: And he'd probably, like, at some point, like,
come over to me, and say, like, "No hard feelings."
>>Lawrence: "Hey, man. You know, it's just how it goes."
>>James: "It's just, I'm just protecting my brand."
>>Adam: Yeah. You stole his bit or something?
>>Bruce: You know- You know 
he is the REAL American hero, right?
>>James: Oh, absolutely.
>>Lawrence: He really is.
>>Bruce: He's in every 
single movie about American heroes.
>>James: He represents the American Dream.
>>Bruce: Left! Left!
>>Lawrence: Lef- Yeah, seriously.
[Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: Where are you eyeballs at? Oh! Not there.
>>Bruce: Um, he was in- he's in 'Patriot's Day's.
He's in 'Transformers'.
>>James: He owns a burger joint.
>>Bruce: He was- What else does he do?
>>James: Uh.. He went to jail.
>>Bruce: He did jail.
>>James: For, like, blinding a... Asian minority.
>>Lawrence: A-Uh... That one 
music video where he has RIGHTEOUS abs.
>>Bruce: New Kids on the Block!
[Adam scoffs]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>James: Good Vibrations
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
 - no sell out.
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
If you ain't in it to win it,
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
Then get the hell ou-
>>Bruce: And the best mov- The best movie of all:
'Pain & Gain'.
>>James: 'Pain & Gain'!
>>Bruce: He was in 'Pain & Gain'.
>>James: That's- That movie 
sh-could've been called the American Dream.
[Bruce laughs]
>>Adam [sarcastic]: Thank you! 
>>James: That's what it's all about.
>>Lawrence: -'ve been the American Dream, yeah.
>>Bruce: Murder and steroids?
>>Adam & James: Yeah!
>>Lawrence: Ok, ok, two scenerios:
>>Bruce: Uh-huh.
>>Lawrence: You're going on a date with Ariel.
Can't talk, has human legs, and a human vagina.
>>Adam: I'd fuck it.
>>Lawrence: Going on a date with Mark Wahlberg...
Who do you think you could fuck in the bathroom first?
>>James: Umm...
>>Adam: Can Ariel fight back?
[Bruce laughs]
>>James: Oh, boy...
>>Lawrence: I mean, she's pretty- she's pretty thin.
>>Bruce [laughing]: Jeez!
>>Lawrence: So, here's the problem:
Uh... You take Ariel into 
Islands Burger Restaurant, or whatever.
>>James: Yeah.
>>Lawrence: You're gettin' your- You're gettin'-
>>Adam: Her FAVORITE.
"See all the BMX stuff on the wall?"
>>James: "No, those fries aren't
 bottomless, Ariel, so slow down."
>>Lawrence: "Yeah, watch-"
[Bruce laughs]
>>Adam: "Yeah. They got rid of that!"
>>Bruce: "You look like you 
might be gaining a little bit, uh..."
>>Lawrence: "Oh boy, you're attacking that, huh?"
>>Bruce: "So, you know what I'm sayin'?"
>>James: "You just got those legs. 
Let's not ruin 'em now."
[Bruce & Lawrence laugh]
[Lawrence popping]
>>Adam: She- She squats on the table..
Eggs.. everywhere.
>>James: It'd be eggs.
[Bruce laughs]
>>Adam: And then you-
[Lawrence slurps]
>>Bruce: This is all in Islands?!
[Adam yelling]
[fart sounds]
[Bruce laughing]
>>Lawrence: "I love you, baby." [spits]
>>Adam: Two days later, you have.. babies.
[Lawrence spitting]
>>Bruce: Wow..
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Bruce: You have a million babies!
>>Adam: Yeah, yeah.
>>Bruce: Usually fish have a million babies.
>>Adam: Oh! And then- 
And then she sues you for alimony.
>>Lawrence: Well, yeah.
>>Bruce: Oh, boy. That's-
>>Adam: And then she gets fat. She gets-
She weighs like 102 lbs.
>>Bruce: She already got- was WAY fat. You know that.
Ariel's so FAT in that movie.
There are no Disney Princesses 
that are not fat, by the way.
[James laughs]
They're ALL fat!
>>James: If you were Beast, in 'Beauty and the Beast',
>>Lawrence: I sit and make pig noises at the TV.
>>James: Would you- Would you ask-
>>Lawerence: "SOOIE!" [oinks]
[Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: In the theater.
>>James: Would you be pissed when you kissed-
when you kiss Belle. Right?
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>James: Fat Belle.
>>James: Um.. When you-
>>Bruce: Man, she's so fat.
>>Lawrence [breathes out]: Jesus.
>>James: When you kissed her, and 
then you shrunk down to a regular-sized dick?
'Cause he lost a lot of gain.
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Bruce: Oh, yeah!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, yeah. You're right.
>>James: He was fuckin' jacked as the Beast.
>>Bruce: Oh, shit, he was jacked!
>>Adam: Right.
>>James: Would be like, "WHAT THE FUCK?"
[Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: Think about- Think about how Belle felt.
She was gonna.. get her plumbing.. torn apart by Beast!
>>Bruce [whispers]: Nice!
[Bruce & James laugh]
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Lawrence: And then he shrunk 
down to normal dick size.
>>Adam: Then she lost again.
>>Bruce: Ohh, man..
>>Lawrence: "Fuck it! Why am I here, eating all this pie-,"
>>Adam: Yeah.
[Bruce & James laugh]
>>Lawrence: "-if I'm not going to get..
 ripped in half by a giant beast cock?"
[Bruce & James laugh more]
>>Lawrence: And then she just keeps eating.
>>Bruce: Yeah. Huh, wow.
>>Adam: Yeah. Teacups just watch.
>>Lawrence: "When are we ever gonna have our cake?!"
>>James: "RIP ME IN HALF!"
>>Adam: What about, uh, what's her face from, uh,
the 'Hercules' movie?
>>Bruce: She was supposed to 
the realistic -this is not a joke-
supposed to be the realistic Disney Princess.
>>James: Really?
>>Lawrence: Is that why she was so bitchy?
>>Bruce: Yeah. Because her hips were so wide.
But she's a little too FAT!
>>Lawrence: Right. Dependant on a man.
>>James: It's easy to criticize.. these, uh, these women.
>>Bruce: Yeah.
>>James: But the dudes are little twig pussies.
>>Adam & Bruce: Not Hercules!
>>Lawrence: Well, not Hercules! He was jacked! 
What're you talking about?
>>Bruce: Hercules was jacked!
>>James: He's- He's prett- 
He's the smallest version of Hercules I've ever seen.
>>Lawrence: Prince Charming had a.. cool little cape.
>>Bruce: What about Beast?!
>>James: Beast was big, but then he
 shrunk down at the end, and then he wasn't pissed off!!
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
What about Gaston?
>>James: Gaston was the bad guy!
He was the most jacked 
person in the whole fucking thing!
>>Bruce: Yeah, you're right.
>>James: And they're like, "Oh, look at this bad guy!"
I don't think so! According to my eyes, he's the cool guy!
[Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: So equal time: Disney Princesses are fat,
and the Princes are.. fucking lame!
>>James: They're lame!
>>Bruce: And they're.. WEAK, little pussies!
[all laughing]
>>Adam: "Fix it, Disney!"
>>Bruce: I know! "Disney, fix it!"
>>Adam: I wanna see Bruce go into a Disney meeting.
>>Bruce [yelling]: "Hello, pussies!"
"Why is Leia so FAT?!"
[all laughing]
"You see her in that Slave Leia outfit?!
"She was FAT!"
[all laughing]
>>James [laughing]: And you're just shouting.
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
 - no sell out.
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
If you ain't in it to win it,
[♪ Good Vibrations - Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch ♪]
Then get the h-
>>Lawrence: I don't think you're gonna make it, James.
>>James: Yeah... This guy fucked me.
>>Lawrence [groaning]: Ooohh...
>>Bruce: Ohh... That'll help a little bit.
>>Lawrence [groaning]: Ride it to the next one.
>>Bruce: There we go. One more.
[all groaning]
>>Adam: Yeeeah.
[all laughing]
>>James: Ohhh-heeey!
>>Lawrence: Oh! Is he gonna make it?!
>>Bruce: He might.
>>Adam: Yeah. Aw...
>>James: And I miss the checkpoint.
>>Adam: I think you automatically get that one.
>>Adam: Nope!
>>James: Nope. YOU automatically 
got it, 'cause you went far enough.
>>Bruce: Oh, I see.
>>Lawrence: Again.
>>James: GOD DAMN IT!
[Adam & Lawrence laugh]
>>Bruce: Oh, no!
>>Lawrence: Whoa.
>>Adam: Yay!
>>James: Oh, shit! We're losing control!
>>Bruce: Look at that!
>>James: I'M OUTTA HERE!
>>Bruce: You breached like a dolphin!
[Adam laughs]
[all  laughing]
>>James: Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
>>Bruce: Oh, this is it! This is it!
>>James: Recover! Recover!
>>Lawrence: OH!
[James laughs]
>>Bruce & Lawrence: YEAH!
>>Adam: Aw!
>>Bruce: Nice job!
>>Lawrence: So the ultimate Disney film-
[sniffs]
>>Bruce: Yeah?
>>Lawrence: -it's gonna open with..
a bunch of dudes flexing and complimenting each other.
>>Bruce & James: Yeah.
>>Adam: Yep.
>>Lawrence: Cut to...
women throwing up in the bathroom, like they should...
[Adam & James laugh]
>>Bruce: Absolutely!
>>Lawrence: And then coming out,
 and REMOVING clothing.
>>Adam: Right.
>>Bruce: Duh!
>>Lawrence: So we can see their ribs.
>>Bruce: They're already naked.
>>Adam: Because-
>>Adam: Well, here's the thing, for too long 
it's been IMPLIED that they- they vomit.
But we need to show little girls how to do it.
>>Bruce: Yeah, we need to show them how to do it. That's true.
[Lawrence laughs]
>>Bruce: They either need to NOT eat, or throw up!
>>James: Is this Hell?
>>Bruce: This is-
>>James: Are we in Hell?
>>Adam: Just- Just a-
>>Lawrence: Woo!
>>Bruce: No!
>>Adam: a quick- quick disclaimer.
>>Bruce: We're in America!
>>James: He's still on me. He's still near me.
>>Bruce: Oh, no! He's gonna try- Don't knock us off!
>>Bruce: Sorry! We need to be-
>>James: Is that the Bat Mobile?!
>>Adam: Doesn't matter.
>>Lawrence: Let's take him out! PIN HIM!
>>Lawrence: OOH, RON! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
[Adam & Bruce laugh]
>>Bruce: Oh! You got it!
>>Adam: Cool. Good move?
>>Lawrence: Oo-aah! Got it!
>>Bruce: Wow, that was cool.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, you can wall ride
 this whole thing with...
>>Bruce: Fuck it. Who cares?
>>Adam: He chooses not to.
>>Lawrence: Yeah. Nobody's been able to do it either.
[James yells]
>>Lawrence: Ooh!
>>Bruce: Oh, you just- Oh, wow.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, plug it up.
>>Adam: You're gonna get hit from behind real good.
>>James: OWW!!
[all laughing]
>>Bruce [laughing]: Oh, you fucked
 that guy up real good!
>>Lawrence: Plug it up so Ron can't get through.
>>James: Hold on. I gotta wall ride.
[Adam & Lawrence laughing]
>>Bruce: Oh, no.
>>James: OHH!!
>>James: Wall ride!
>>Bruce: Oh, you're fucking everybody up.
[all laughing]
>>Adam [laughing]: He can't fit!
>>Bruce: Nobody can do it!
>>James: AHH!
[Adam, Bruce, & Lawrence laughing]
>>Adam: We need to get that wall ride.
>>Bruce: We need to get the wall ride, yeah.
>>Adam: Yeah. You picked a car
that CAN'T fit through there.
>>Bruce: There you go. That's it.
>>Lawrence: There you go. Hup!
>>Adam: That's cool.
>>Lawrence: Ooh!
>>Lawrence: And one more. Ah!
>>Adam: Wow.
[all yell]
[Adam laughs]
>>Bruce: Aw, no!
>>James: No, stay vertical!
>>Lawrence: Oh, Ron was doing it now.
>>Lawrence: Boy, Ron, you master troll.
>>Bruce: Stay vertical. You got- Oh, no, you can't-
>>Bruce: you can't get any traction. OH!
>>James: OHH!
[James yelling]
>>Bruce: Oh, come on...
All: Oh!
>>James: We're back on!
>>Adam: And you're out.
>>Lawrence: Wait a minute.
I think I thought of A Disney 
woman who is NOT fat as shit.
[James laughs]
>>Bruce: Who?
>>Lawrence: Cruella de Vil.
>>James: What? She's- ...
She is kinda skinny. You're right.
>>Bruce: Well, hold on, no- But she's old.
>>Lawrence: She's old, yes.
>>Adam: There it is.
>>Bruce: Old people are already fat.
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>James [laughing]: Did you see the guy fly out?
>>Bruce [laughing] No.
>>James: What the fuck happened?
[all exclaim]
>>James: Oh, fuck me!
>>Bruce: What did you hit?!
>>Lawrence: Almost! Damn it!
>>James: It's invisible!
 There's- There's an invisible thing!
>>Bruce: This is a serious question,
is there anybody OLD that's not fat?
[Adam & James snicker]
>>Adam: What?!
>>Bruce: I'm serious. Every old person's fat, right?
>>James: Uh...
>>Adam: Well- Well, what constitutes as "old"?
>>Bruce: Over 60.
>>Adam: Helen Mirren.
>>Lawrence: Tom Cruise. Wait- He's fifty-somethin'.
>>Bruce: Tom Cruise is, like, fifty-somethin'.
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>Bruce: And, also, he's kinda fat.
>>Lawrence: Um...
>>James: Dudes don't count!
>>Lawrence: Dolph Lundgren?
>>Bruce: Dudes don't count. Only girls.
>>James: Dudes can't be fat!
>>Bruce: Dudes cannot be fat.
>>Lawrence: Oh, sorry. Yeah, you're right.
[Adam & James laughs]
>>James: Dudes are, like, normal?
[Adam & Bruce laugh]
>>James: And, like, chicks are fat.
So, like, when a dude has a big, fat belly?
>>Lawrence: That's just a normal dude.
>>Bruce: That's funny.
>>Lawrence: That's a normal, healthy dude.
>>James: That's just- That's just how guys look.
>>Bruce: That's- That's- That's comedy!
>>Bruce: They did it for comedy.
>>Adam & Lawrence: Yeah.
>>James: But women- When women
 don't have huge boobs and a skinny waist..
>>Lawrence: Oh, it's fucking gross.
>>James: They're fat.
>>Bruce: Right. Then they're fat.
>>Lawrence: What's wrong with 'em?
>>Bruce: And sometimes they are fat any- anyways. Even if they have 'em.
>>Lawrence: You know what really frustrates me?
[Adam, Bruce, & James laugh]
Is that we have the tools to fix this shit,
and yet there are still fat, ugly women walking around.
>>Adam: Yeah! It's called your index finger!
>>Bruce [laughing]: Jeez!
>>Lawrence: It's like people getting the flu.
We have inoculations. Just take 'em!
>>James: What did I hit?
>>Bruce: Yeah, that's a good point.
>>Lawrence: And we have-
>>Bruce: We have plastic surgery and liposuction.
>>Lawrence: We can make-
>>Bruce: So FUCKIN' DO IT!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, we can make your titties HUGE!
[Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: You just have to GO to the place, and let them cut you open, and shove shit inside of your body!
Just do it! It's not hard!
>>Adam: The Princesses did it! You do it!
>>Bruce: Yeah, come on, it's easy!
>>Adam: Be like Rey!
>>James: There is invisible shit all over that course-
>>Bruce: Yeah, yeah. I don't know what happened.
>>James: -that I kept hitting.
>>Lawrence: Man, Rey better 
get GIANT tits for Episode 8.
>>James: They sh-
[all laugh]
>>Elyse:
[Adam, Bruce, & James laugh]
>>Adam: What's the, uh, the oral etiquette?
>>Lawrence: Dudes just smell like-
>>James: What d'you mean? Brush your teeth.
>>Bruce: Oral etiquette?
>>Bruce: We get the oral!
>>James & Lawrence: Yeah!
>>Bruce: That's the oral etiquette.
>>Adam: Oh.
>>Adam: So you go first...
>>James: Yep.
>>Bruce: What do you mean? Who goes first?
>>Adam: Well, who g- who goes first?
>>Bruce: There is no "first".
>>James: Yeah.
>>Bruce: We get it, and that's it!
[all laughing]
[all laughing harder]
>>Bruce [laughing]: Oh, my God...
Oh, jeez...
>>James: That was that.
>>Bruce: That clip's gonna
come back to haunt me in 30 years!
[Adam & Lawrence laugh]
>>James: I already see the 
thing with your quote with your face there.
[all laughing]
>>Bruce: Oh, gosh.
>>Adam: Oh, wow.
>>James: Oh, I got tears in my eyes.
[Bruce laughs]
>>Bruce: Lawrence, you're doing really well!
>>Lawrence: Thank you!
>>James: He's in 2nd.
>>Bruce: 2nd place!
>>James: But he hasn't gotten to the walls.
>>James: The warped wall, or whatever.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, I haven't gotten to the death wall.
The- The- The phantom wall.
>>Bruce: You'll do it.
>>Lawrence: I'll do it.
>>Bruce: You'll get it.
>>Lawrence: C'mon FilthyGrape.
[James breathes out]: Ok.
>>Lawrence: We're in a.. fuckin'.. F1 duel now.
>>Bruce: Oh, man.
>>James: You gotta- You need your
speed, but not so much that you catch him!
>>James: OH! He crashed!
>>Lawrence: FUCK YOU!
>>Bruce: You got it! 
>>Lawrence: Shit!
>>Bruce: Oh, no. No, you helped him.
>>Lawrence: Aw, I helped him!
>>James: Oh...
>>Bruce: Oh, you're not gonna- Or, he might not make it.
>>Lawrence: FiltyGrape...
>>Adam: Pull back on the stick!
>>Bruce: You're not gonna make it.
>>James: Recover. Just recover.
[Lawrence sighs]
>>Adam: He didn't do that on purpose, though.
>>Lawrence: Fuck him.
>>Bruce: That's true.
>>Adam: Ouch!
>>Bruce: But, fuck him, yeah. Who cares?
>>Lawrence: I don't care.
>>Lawrence: It's still a race.
>>James: You're gonna hit this guy now.
>>Lawrence: STOP! Being bad! Ok, I think-
[Bruce laughs]
>>Lawrence: There we go. Ok.
>>Adam: There we go. 
>>Bruce: Nice.
>>Lawrence: Hup!
>>Bruce: Equal time, though... We're all kinda fat too.
>>Lawrence: What?!
>>Bruce: Just-
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>James: We're not jacked enough!
>>Bruce: No, we're not jacked enough.
>>Adam: Could be better.
>>Bruce: But!
>>Lawrence: I could see m-
>>Bruce: We are sexually 
attractive, whereas most women are not.
>>Lawrence: Oh, that's true.
[all laugh]
>>James: That's very diplomatic
of you, Bruce, and I appreciate you now.
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Bruce: I'm trying to be unbiased.
>>James: Yeah.
>>James: Straddling the line.
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>James: Bipartisan! That's what I love.
>>Adam: That's always good.
[Bruce laughing]
>>Lawrence: Don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up. Hup!
>>Bruce: That is true. That's
one of the questions I've always asked. Is, like, 
>>Lawrence: Hup!
>>Adam: What?
>>Bruce: Other dudes.. being, like, 
"Man, dudes are so jacked, and women are so ugly",
and, like, "Man, they're so fat". 
And I'm always like, "... Are you straight or gay?"
>>Bruce: Like-
>>James: No. You're hanging out with gay guys.
>>Bruce: Yeah, they say- [laughs]
>>Adam: That's Bruce talking to the mirror.
[Bruce laughing]
>>James [laughing]: We've- We've been telling you that.
>>James: You ALWAYS hang out- 
Every time you introduce us to someone new,
>>Bruce: Ohh...
>>Lawrence: Oh!
>>Bruce: I'm always in West 
Hollywood, and THAT'S the problem.
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>James: Yeah. It's always a gay dude.
>>Adam: Yeah.
>>Bruce: Oh. Ok. Alright.
>>James: But those dudes are jacked!
>>Adam: Mhmm. Yep!
>>Bruce: Yeah. I know!
>>Lawrence: Yeah, they are.
>>Adam: They have.. a GOAL.
They k- They can see the finish line.
And it's.. some dude's sweet cornhole.
[Bruce & James laugh]
>>Lawrence: Yeah.
>>Adam: Looks like a hairless, glazed donut.
>>Lawrence: Man...
>>Bruce: DAMN!
[Adam laughs] [James breathes out nose]
>>Bruce: Why is it so big?!
>>Adam [offhand]: Oh, it gets- it gets inflamed.
>>Lawrence: Why didn't God ever
give women something they could shove into people?
>>Adam: What?
>>James: Pbbt!
>>Lawrence: They would enjoy sex a lot
more if they could penetrate somethin'.
>>Bruce: 1st place, Lawrence!
Yes!
>>Lawrence: Take that, women.
[James imitating horn]
[controller thumps on desk]
[Bruce laughs]
[Lawrence's hand slap]
>>Adam: I wish cars could talk.
>>Lawrence: Yeah, that'd be great.
>>Bruce: They can! 
Haven't you ever seen Elon Musk's car?
>>James: No.
>>Adam [robotic]: "Hello, Elon." Yeah.
"How's SpaceX going?"
"Just kidding. I know."
>>James: It's a car.
>>Lawrence: It's a cooler.
[Bruce laughs]
>>James: Way too high. OH, LAND IN IT!
>>Lawrence: WHOOOA!
>>Adam: Land in it!
>>Bruce: OH, WHOA!
>>Adam: Pull the- Push up- Erp erp!
>>Bruce: Waste it! Waste it! Aw...
>>James: First try. Every single FUCKIN' time.
You should've stayed on the ramp!
Bruce, is that you?!
>>Bruce [chuckles]: It IS me!
>>Adam: Whoa.
