

Helicopter

By Seksa Sea

Contents

Prologue

Cambodia

They're Back Again

Mandatory

Walked

Hard Labor

Hunger

Last Words

Soldiers

Flight

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

To Dad

Prologue

Many events have lead to the genocide of Cambodia in 1975 to 1979, that has been caused by the infamous rule of Pol Pot. The Khmer Rouge was a time period in which Cambodia was changed greatly in terms of agricultural and technological development. Millions of people died during the four year period in which Cambodia was renamed to Democratic Kampuchea. Before the Khmer Rouge took power of Cambodia . This time was also known as Year Zero for Cambodians when the Khmer Rouge captured Phnom Penh, the capital city. Before the events of the Khmer Rouge, the country was named the Kingdom of Cambodia by King Sihanouk in 1953. In 1965, Sihanouk allowed North Vietnamese troops to enter Cambodian grounds in order to help with their mission against the US government in South Vietnam. Because of this, Cambodia had broken off the relations between the U.S. and Cambodia. In 1969, the U.S. began bombing the North Vietnamese troops that were in Cambodia, which affected not only the North Vietnamese, but also Cambodian civilians. By 1970, the Prime Minster of Cambodia, Lon Nol formed a military coup to overthrow Sihanouk which had succeeded, leading to the exile of Sihanouk in China. During the few years leading up to the events of 1975, Lon Nol had became the leader of Cambodia. However, during this time, Cambodia had lost many of it's land to the North Vietnamese and Khmer Rouge troops. By the time of 1975, Lon Nol is then overthrown by the Khmer Rouge and Sihanouk becomes the head of state once again, only to resign the following year.

This story will describe the events of the Khmer Rouge in the four year period from the very start in 1975 to the very end in 1979.

Cambodia

April 17th, 1975. I looked into the horizon; there I saw a dark green colored vehicle, a military tank, speeding towards the dusty streets of Phnom Penh. Cambodia is generally a blazing hot city with dirt brown buildings and smoky clouds. The area is either filled with dust or dirt; there isn't any place without dust. When the expensive cars drive by, it creates a small burst of warm wind to the side of the streets. Since the war between us and the Americans started a few years back when I was just eight years old, I've been hearing many loud noises of screams and explosions throughout the night. I wonder why their driving the tanks here in the streets I thought to myself. Looking around I saw hundreds of people gathered along the sides of the roads, all of them waving their hands left and right, left and right. "Chey You Kampuchea, Chey You Kampuchea," the gigantic crowd shouted with pride and happiness. My five older siblings (three sisters and one brother), my mother, and my father started to cheer along with the other civilians.

Even though I had no clue about what had just happened, I started to chant along with them, I laughed and smiled full of joy. "Thank You! Thank You!" I tried to yell at the Cambodian soldiers sitting on top of each military tank. "What are they doing?" I asked my eldest brother, Sakol.

He replied, "You see, we've just won the war against the Americans, we are victorious, the great and powerful Kampuchea!" He then added on "No more fear, no more bombs, it's going to be peaceful from now on, okay Seang?"

I smiled back at him, "I hope so too, I hate the sounds of explosions." Today was the day in which we succeeded, we finally drove back the American forces, and we actually beat the Americans with our own Cambodian forces. My oldest brother, Sakol was just a scrawny, but smart looking man. Throughout the years of schooling he was always the top student in the classes. He knew everything from street smarts to school smarts. He was the man of the house besides my father. My brother even earned his own money and supplied money for the house with his vast knowledge on economics and trading old magazines and newspapers. Even at his young age of 18, he understood the world like my dad. Growing up, he wants to become a businessman and earn lots of money. When I grow up, I want to be just like him, just like my brother.

"Everyone, let's go back inside to our house. The soldiers already left. Come on, hurry up," my dad said to my entire family. My dad was a doctor, a famous doctor in Phnom Penh as a matter of fact. Whoever had trouble in health or needed medication would always come to my dad's workplace. I'd see a new visitor every day as he was not only kind, but helpful to the entire population of Phnom Penh. At this time, my dad was already old, aged around 40-50, I could never remember. In fact, my dad was so well known that if I said I was his son to random people throughout Phnom Penh, they would treat me respectfully. I could only think positive thoughts about him; my dad is a kind man, respectful, optimistic, caring, and selfless. He would always bring fruit to the prisoners in the prison at Phnom Penh every week since they are underfed in the prison cells. Not only civilians know him, but also prisoners and throughout the entire Phnom Penh recognized my dad. That's what I love about him, he is an outstanding person unlike most people he is what you can call a hero.

After the parade ending with the soldiers leaving the streets of Phnom Penh, my family and I were back at our house and I said to my youngest sister Ping who is 6 years old "Hey! Wanna plays hide and seek?"

She obviously responded with "I'll go call Sophea and Lynn." Both Sophea and Lynn are my two older sisters, one being 16 and another is 22 years old. After a few moments later, Sophea, Lynn, and Ping all gathered out in the front of our small house. We then counted to twenty with Ping being the seeker, and during the twenty seconds we hid. It took a very long time before Ping could actually find us since she isn't very bright or smart for her age. After finishing playing hide and seek for around an hour or even longer, it was time for lunch in the top floor of the house.

This house was two floors high and was starting to get old since we bought this house when Ping was born. It was tinted brown due to the large amounts of dust that would gather on the wall. The front door was just a rusty gate with cobwebs and broken metal all over. The floor of the house is made out of mucky marble that has been covered in dust due to it being never cleaned daily. The step of each of the staircase that climbs to the top floor is wooden and creaks with each step along the way. Each floor has a maximum of 3-4 windows that is used to view the outside streets of peopling walking and selling food. The ceiling is also old with fractures throughout the entire ceiling and each crack connected to a larger crack which in turn could be dangerous in the future. Even though the house is small, it's still I house my family lives in today and hopefully for our future lives. Throughout the house there are also multiple rooms that all have a similar plain design of wood and white walls with a bed in the middle. I share a room with Ping, while my dad and mom, brother, and two older sisters get a room to their own. This could get annoying some of times due to the fact that Ping can become very loud at night with her obnoxious snoring. Personally, I have been asking for a room of my own, but my parents have never been able to get me one since the house is too small to create a new room.

Talking about Ping, she is lovable cute little sister who gets anything she wants when she asks. When we are playing with marbles, she would use her cute face and kindly ask if she could have one, and in the next few seconds she is playing with a new set of marbles. Ping is the type of person who also cries and becomes very loud when she doesn't get what she wants. She becomes very selfish when it comes to sharing her belongings. Once it's her, you can't take it from anymore because she will cry until you stop caring about it. However, even though she could be annoying some of times or most of times, she is still my little sister whom I care deeply about.

There is also Sophea who is the third oldest child with Ping being the youngest, then myself, Sophea, Sakol, and finally Lynn being the oldest child. Sophea is a person who is physically very strong and is generally the person who would do the most housework. She is also a very commanding girl and loves to push people around to follow what she does. Most of the times, her voice could already be enough to make you start following her due to the deepness of her voice even though she is a girl. She is very strong for her age and could even win a fight against Sakol which still amazes me today. I've always though ever since I was born that generally, boys are stronger than girls, but Sophea proves this wrong. I remember when I was only 5 years old when Sakol tried to open this box with only his hands and he could never rip through the box. Sophea then came to save the day and easily as if it was just paper, tore the box in half and to my surprised, a box of cookies fell out. Still thinking about, she is not only strong, but she is also very fast. She could run ten times faster than me or anyone in the family. It's as if she was adopted since both my father and mother are neither that strong nor that fast compared to her.

Finally, there is Lynn who is as stated before, the oldest in the family. She is just an above average person. Good in everything, but best in none, someone who is just a jack of all trades. She is good at school, when buying and selling food, finance, and understanding what's happening in Phnom Penh currently. Most of the time it's either her or Sakol who my parents put in charge of the house when they are gone to go to work. She understands what's best for the future of our lives and how we should plan our money and what we eat. She usually is the one who buys the food from the market for example fresh vegetables or fish and is also the one who cooks them for the family. Excluding today, she is often at school in the morning studying about medicine, trying to be just like her father who is a doctor. With so many things on her mind, I don't know how she can cope with all the things she has to do daily. She has to cook, buy food, study, take care of me and Ping, and practice her Khmer reading and writing.

When we finished lunch which was amok and rice, I had to go study my Khmer and do the writing homework that school had assigned me before the school break started. There was a school break due to the war between us and the Americans and they all had to be stopped for safety reasons to not go outside early in the morning or late at night. I kind of enjoy that we have such a long holiday because personally I'm not very a smart kid to begin with, I'm skinny, and I'm as weak as Ping who is four years younger than me. I have black hair and thick glasses that I have to wear daily in order to see in the distant. I am just an uneducated, small, dependent, and needs other people to do things for me kind of person. I am deeply terrified of bugs of all sorts from cockroaches to spiders; I am scared of all insects. Everyone in my family keeps making fun of me because of this due to the fact that Cambodia and specifically Phnom Penh is filled with bugs inside and outside the home. Even small cupboard or corner in the house has at least on cockroach living inside. The funny thing is none of my other family members are scared of insects including Ping who bravely tries to find them throughout the house.

Throughout the rest of the day after the parade had finished, I kept on asking my parents if they would come the next day and if meant the actual finish of the war. "Is this really it? Is this the end? From now on, no more noises in the night!" I asked my dad.

He responded with "Sure... Sure... No more from no own, okay Seang, no more questions about this."

Even after that response I still thought about the future. Is everything actually going back to a time without war? Are we just going to celebrate from now on I thought. If things did go back to a time when I was five when there was no talk about the war, it would gladly be a happy ending to this war between America and Cambodia. I wonder what's next, I wonder what's next.

They're Back Again

It was the next morning on April 18th; I woke up from a loud banging outside. The soldiers were back once again, but this time it was much more than before. I looked at my small window to the outside and to my amazement saw hundreds of soldiers spread across marching through the streets of Phnom Penh, all dressed in a green military coat, each one armed with a rifle ready to fire. On top of one of those green tanks is a flag, different from our Cambodian flag. It was just a red background, with a yellow colored Angkor Wat in the center. The flag flew left and right, back and forth to the flow of the wind, showing what seems to be a new country flag. Outside was hot as if the sun had just risen to its bright peak. The air was dusty, but somehow, I managed to see the hundreds of people on the streets and further back. Hurriedly, I went to call my siblings, all four of them to wake up and see what's happening outside. To my surprise, they were already wide awake besides Ping, who was still fast asleep. They too, looked out the window and were astonished by the amount of soldiers and tanks they had seen. Never in my life had I seen such a massive crowd of armed men looking as cheerful as ever. They smiled and laughed, and loud drums were banging, loud enough to be heard inside the house. Moments later, Ping rose from her bed and quietly said, "What's happening? Are we cheering again? I thought it ended."

Sakol responded, "Hey come here Ping, look out, there is more people, more soldiers, more happiness!" Immediately after he said, Ping quickly sped to the window pushing both Lynn and Sophea out of her way.

"Where, where? She exclaimed throughout the whole room. Looking past her the soldiers kept on marching, the tanks kept on moving, and the flags kept on flowing. There was never a stop to the amount of soldiers that kept walking through the roads, the line of people stretched out to the horizon where I could see a small gap. Minutes later, I started to see more people go to their balconies to view the streets from above. People starting to watch, stare, and cheer along with the soldiers chanting to what I suppose would be a victory chant. People of a variety of age, old and young, some of the men were not even fully clothed, only with a towel covering the bottom. I kept staring into the vast amounts of people, never before had I seen this much people in one place at one time.

"Hey! Come downstairs now," it came from a voice below, presumably my mother who ordered to come down to eat. My siblings and I all rushed downstairs in order to eat breakfast. Here, the breakfast was just the normal porridge with dried fish, the usual thing that we eat every day.

The wooden food started to creak from upstairs, I turned my head to look at the stairs and saw my dad slowly coming down holding both of the stair handles to not fall. At this age, my dad isn't as strong or flexible as he was when I was smaller at around 5 years old. He needs more help to walk around, some of the times he would constantly forget what he has to do or what he was going to say. He is getting too old to work and continue his profession as a doctor. As my dad got closer to the table made out of kra nhoung wood, Lynn went the chair as this is the usual family members in our house. Kra nhoung wood is the most expensive type of wood that could be bought in Cambodia due to the quality and color of the wood. Because of the amounts of money my dad earned due to working as a doctor and being well known in Phnom Penh, he could afford from himself and his family.

"Seang, do you know what they're doing outside? Are they back again to celebrate the victory?" my dad questioned me.

"Huh, what they're doing outside? I think that their back again to make people happy. Everyone's cheering again" I responded. My dad likes to ask these obvious questions throughout the day, in order to get our brains going from a long sleep. It's his way of "preparing us for the day" as questions usually formulate to a longer conversation during breakfast time.

After finishing breakfast, I stood up and walked to the front door, connecting the dining area to the rusty gates. After opening the door, the noises of laughter and cheers grew and I could faintly hear what they were saying. The chant begins with "Dap Prampi Mesa Chokchey" to what I expect to be the name of the song.

" The bright scarlet blood

Flooded over the towns and plains of our motherland Kampuchea,

The blood of our good workers and farmers,

Our revolutionary fighters' blood, both men and women.

Their blood produced a great anger and the courage

To contend with heroism.

On 17 April, under the revolutionary banner,

Their blood freed us from the state of slavery.

Hurrah, hurrah,

For the glorious 17 April!

That wonderful victory had greater significance

Than the Angkor period!

We are uniting

To construct a Kampuchea with a new and better society,

Democratic, egalitarian and just.

We follow the road to firmly-based independence.

We absolutely guarantee to defend our motherland,

Our fine territory, our magnificent revolution!

Hurrah, hurrah,

Hurrah! For the new Kampuchea

A splendid, democratic land of plenty!

We guarantee to raise aloft and wave the red banner of the revolution.

We shall make our motherland prosperous beyond all others,

Magnificent, wonderful!"

I then went over to ask my dad what this was about until I was abruptly interrupted by Ping. "Hey, hey, what are they singing? Hey, hey, today's the 18th, we already passed the 17th." I looked over to see Ping smiling with huge eyes staring straight ahead to the giant green tank moving. It sounded like a rumble of trees and crumbled rocks being crushed together, and felt like an earthquake due to the enormous weight of the tank.

After a few moments I answered, "I don't know; ask Dad, or Sakol, Lynn, or even Sophea. I have no clue what they're singing about." I looked at her face, and saw disappointment, letting out a grunt before moving to Lynn to ask the same question she asked me. A little while after, I remembered that I too wanted to know what the soldiers were singing so I went back inside through the door to see Dad sitting on the chair slowly eating his porridge.

"Dad, do you know what their singing or chanting outside? They just keep on repeating the same words, and it sounds like they're singing about Cambodia."

He then looked right into my eyes and raised his voice, "I can't hear what their saying outside, my ears aren't as good as they were before. Singing, you say? It's probably just another victory song." I then let out a long sigh before realizing again that my dad isn't as young as I used to remember. I started out the window once again and went over to my sister Lynn, she knows a lot about songs, I wonder if she knows about it.

"Lynn, do you know what they're singing about? Is it like a victory chant or a song?"

"Look Seang, you think I know everything? Well, I do. Their singing the same song they sang yesterday. Something to do with a 'better Cambodia', it could be an anthem, most likely something to do with winning the war."

"Thanks. I'll listen to it more." I responded with a chuckle. I opened the door back and exited to the gate. Unlocking the gate with a slight push, it started to creak loudly. The rust from the gate started to creak and pieces of metal fell from the gate. We should get a new gate; this is starting to get dangerous I thought to myself. As I looked outside, the people were still marching singing the same song. The flag above the tank was similar to our Cambodian flag, but different. "Are things really going back, when it was peaceful?" I whispered to myself. A loud thunk came from the left and saw one of the tanks rising with smoke. Broken, couldn't move, it was just stuck, blocking the pride, blocking the march from continuing.

It was then when people started to scream or rather much shout "Fix it already. Continue, the great Kampuchea!" I looked up, the singing stopped; the people were rushing to fix the tank as fast as they could. The parade was ending; I let out a deep breath, and went back into my room. Up there, Ping was on her bed with her eyes stared straight to the ceiling looking at nothing, but a small crack at the top of the roof.

"If that huge tank crashes and breaks down 'because of nothing, when will this crack break, when will it all crumple down? Huh Seang, when?" Ping asked me in words filled with curiosity.

I sat on the end of the bed and looked out the dirty window to the people going back into their homes. "I don't know Ping, I don't actually know. If our roof breaks, will just leave in a new one, a bigger one. Wouldn't that be nice Ping, that'll be nice? Yeah, a new house, far away from war." Ping then looked at me in wonder as if I said the most unusual thing in her life.

Her eyes widen and she started to giggle out loud, "What are you talking about? I love this house." Thinking back, this house was the only house I've ever lived in. It has all my memories, all the things in my entire life. I've never left here in my whole life. I've been used to living in comfort for as long as I can remember. I lived in this home, this one home, maybe I don't even want to change.

"I guess you're right. Anyway, I hope the tank gets fixed soon, so the soldiers can continue marching and singing." I then went to bed and closed my eyes, imagining the events that will happen to Cambodia in the future. Slowly and quietly with Ping on her bed, and I'm on my own bed, I went to take a small nap.

A loud bump and crash when I've realized a slept for an hour or so. I looked around and did not seem to see Ping or any of my other family members. I wonder where their gone to, did they go out and left me here. After a long yawn I slowly regained my conscious after the short nap and silently got up from the bed. The noise grew louder and surely I understood that the marching continues. The soldiers probably fixed the tank by now, and I quickly went to look out the window. They've continued and below I saw Ping running around in circles trying to catch Sakol. Walking down the stairs to the first floor and opening the door to the gate, I heard the singing once again. They sung the same song at the same pace at the same volume. The song was about our great country, our great Kampuchea. I quickly found out that the song wasn't any regular song, but of a victory against the Americans. A victory that will be in the history books of Cambodia, it was a song about a new Cambodia, a better Cambodia. The song filled my body with pride and joy that all these people, these soldiers, were all singing about being a part of Cambodia, a part of a country that could win, a country that proved its strength over any other country. We were the strongest; we were the best, the best country. "Hey, where is everyone Sakol? Did they go somewhere, buy something?"

"Oh, you're finally awake, don't worry, they only went to the market to get some more food, they won't take long."

"Everyone went? Why didn't you guys go, did you want to watch the soldiers marching." Due to the loud noise of the tank and the voices of hundreds of soldiers, both Sakol and Ping ignored my question. After opening the gate to the outside, I could feel the sun heating up my entire body. The tank produced a great amount of dust blinding my eyes for a second. I started to rub my eyes when I focused clearly and saw that each soldier had a smile on his face. Each soldier looked identical, a green suit, a smile on their faces, a firearm in their hand, a krama covering their face from the dust of the tanks and the dust from the ground, and finally a hat, a black and green hat, similar to the color choice of their uniform. It all looked like pride and strength formed into one human being, one human born from Cambodia. I was in awe of the amazement of the crowd, of the orderly fashion each soldier was moving in. I wished I could have been a part of that, I wish I could've been part of them, part of the soldiers. I want to be proud, strong, and happy every day of my life. I want to be them, the soldiers, the people who fought for Cambodia during times of pain and fear. I looked at Ping and Sakol still running around, still with Ping trying to chase Sakol from behind. Instead of here, I could be there, singing along their anthem, singing about the great Kampuchea. I sat down on the dirt floor below the frets of the soldiers, below the tanks, and below the people. I watched them from the beginning to the end of the march; it took a few hours or so, maybe even more just watching them. Ping and Sakol left to go back inside the house two hours back, and the rest of my family also came back to the house filled with baskets of food an hour ago. However, I was still sitting here until the very last tank past my vision and into the horizon, no, until the very last smiling soldier marched away. That was it, it finally ended today, and I wonder if they'll come back tomorrow, I hope they come back tomorrow, that would be fun to watch them again. I went back to the house and it was already in the afternoon, the sun was already going down, the heat was already lowering. I walked inside my house and saw my dad sitting on the chair looking into the distance, into a white wall as if he was thinking of something.

"Dad, Hello? What are you looking at, what are you thinking about" I asked him directly.

"Ah, hello Seang, you're finally backed from watching the soldiers? Did they finally leave?" he questions me back.

"Yeah, yeah they left just now, it's amazing right, and all those soldiers marching together, all these soldiers were people who helped Cambodia gain its reputation of being the strongest, strong enough to beat the Americans. I wish I was there Dad, I wish I could have been one of those soldiers fighting for Cambodia."

"Well try your best, workout and become stronger, smarter, braver, those people out there, they aren't scared of no cockroaches," he replied as he left out a quick laugh. Dad's always like this, always teases me about my fear of bugs, he usually even tries to scare my along with my siblings by hiding cockroaches throughout my room. Ping isn't scared unlike me, so she can handle stuff like that, it's only me who's scared, frozen when I see the sight of a cockroach so close to me.

"Sure Dad, I'll be braver, I won't have any cockroaches scare me anymore. I'll man up enough to be one of those soldiers out there. I hope they come back tomorrow." I then went up to my room, and was surprised to see Ping and Sakol playing marbles together. I got back on my bed and waited another day, waited until this day passes in order to see those soldiers again.

A few hours later, my mom called me downstairs to go and eat dinner. I went down and saw the feast on the table. There was fish, vegetables, rice, and a cooked pig roasted deliciously. I could smell the food all the way from upstairs, it was certainly something unexpected. Coming down I asked, "What's the occasion, what's all this food for?"

"It's just a celebration feast for the victory against the Americans. Isn't nice and tasty?" my mother replied back. After, a long dinner talking about what we had done today, it was nighttime and I finally went back up to my room in order to go to sleep. Tomorrow they will surely come again I whispered to myself before closing my eyes and going to sleep.

Mandatory

The next morning I woke up to the sound of a speaker. Soldiers on the tank were calling for everyone in the city to move out and come with them to the countryside as there was a threat by the Americans of another bomb strike. Walking around, still half-asleep, I went to see my dad and mom without trying to wake up Ping from her sleep. Silently going around the house, I knocked on the wooden door connecting the hall from our room to my parent's room. This hall was tight, being able to fit only two people at a time walking back and forth. It was also the same color and style as the rooms for both my parents and my own room. The knock on the wooden door was loud and you could hear the cracks from the door from inside. I opened the door and saw my dad still sleeping with my mom running furiously inside the room trying to find the gold that she hides in case of an emergency. Thinking to me, are we actually moving out of this house for a few days in order to be safe from the American bombs that will happen tomorrow. "Mom, are we actually going? Is it true, there is going to be bombs here, are you sure, I don't want to go. I want to stay here." I questioned her as she was still quickly moving around from cabinet to cabinet.

"Seang, go call your brothers and sisters to prepare to go, it's only going to be a few days if you listen, you don't have to worry, we are going to be back soon. Tell them to just prepare for the necessary things like clothes, food, and money."

"What about Dad, are you going to wake him soon? Shouldn't be prepare to go also, how much time do we have?"

"Seang, just go and tell your siblings, I'll handle him and we only have a few hours, hurry up and start moving."

"Okay, okay, see you in a bit Mom," I said as I went and closed the door and rushed back to my room. With the thought of moving for only a few days, I still had a small tear in the back of my eyes thinking about this home. I don't want to leave this place and go to somewhere new, even if it's just a new day, I want to stay here, and I want to stay home. I then saw Lynn, and Sophea already awoke and looking out the window. Going into their room, I went and told them to start packing up since we have to go in a few hours. They looked at me curiously and went to go to their closet without a single question asked. Then going to Sakol's room, I knocked on the door with a loud bang and pushed the door wide open. There I saw Sakol still in his bed and a blanket over his head as if he was pretending not to listen to the microphone and the noises of the tanks outside. Going over to his bed, I pulled the cover down and shook him back and forth in order to wake him up.

"What? What do you want, Seang?" Sakol groaned as he slowly opened his eye.

"We gotta go, can't you listen outside, we all have to go to and live somewhere in the countryside for a few days because of the Americans, and they are trying to bomb us again!"

"Who said, do we have to? I just want to stay in my bed for another hour or two." Sakol slowly spoke back to me.

"Nope, nope, Mom said so, come on, hurry up and bring pack your clothes, it's only going to be a few days, and don't worry, I don't want to go to." I replied back to his questions. With that response, Sakol yawned and got up on his back and stretched his arms up high. He got up off his bed and went over to his closet taking a briefcase and bringing his favorite clothes. Sakol usually likes to wear plain clothes with either a white, blue, or green color. His variety isn't much compared to me, as I'll wear anything comfortable and clean. I moved over to go back to my room to wake up Ping and to also start packing up in order to go. By the time I came back to my room, I saw Ping sitting up on her bed and staring straight at the blank wall with a blank face. Her eyes widen to the sound of my footsteps as she turned her head over to the direction of our room's door.

With a loud yawn she got off her bed and said "You hear what's going outside, we gotta go, hurry up."

Staring right into her face with a confused look and my eyebrows lifted, "How did you know, were you awake all this time?"

"Obviously, I've been awake longer than you have, don't worry I already packed everything I needed, the bag is right there on my bed."

I looked above her head and saw a big filled with the pink colored clothes and dirty old dolls which are her favorite toys. She brings these dolls everywhere she goes, and never leaves them behind, it's what keeps her feel safe and helps her sleep at night. "You're already finished? I've got a lot of work to do, help me get a bag so I can put my clothes in."

"No, do it yourself, I'm going to go to Lynn and Sophea, have fun packing," she chuckled to herself as she left to Lynn and Sophea's room.

As she was going on the door, I rushed to my closet and looked for a bag or briefcase in order to find something to put my clothes in. Looking up and down, I couldn't see anything that could fit all the things that I needed to bring —my clothes, my favorite pillows, my toys— so, I went over to Sakol's room once again. Barging in through the room, I saw Sakol still putting his clothes and choosing which one to bring as I grabbed the nearest brown colored briefcase and went back out with a quiet "Thank you."

"You better bring that back Seang, after we come back home, don't forget it, I'm not giving you that for free, you got that?" he yelled out as I was exiting his room.

I had a small laugh to myself as I replied, "Sure, I will!" Going back to my room I went over to my bed to grab my pillow. This pillow was white, but had many brown spots all over as it hasn't been cleaned in over a month. The pillow was small for me to carry wherever I go, and big enough for me to hug with my entire body. Similar to Ping, I use this pillow to help me sleep when I'm alone as I can feel safe around it. Not only this, but I also bring multiple sets of clothes all of a range of color and variety. In that one briefcase, it includes many different things, which are light enough for me to carry on the journey to where we stay for the next few days.

Finally, preparing all the clothes needed for the trip I went back to my parent's room. Knocking on the door with a few hits, they finally responded and opened the door. Looking at the bed, my dad finally woken up from his sleep and my mom stared directly into my eyes. "What do you want? We're still getting ready, just go to your brother or sister if you need help," she angrily said to me.

"Okay..." I quietly said back to her, upon closing the door again. I wonder what that was all about, I wonder why my mom was so angry or stressed about going for a few days. Moments later, I went to go to my older sister's room to see how they were going with preparing their clothes. As predictable as it was, both my sisters were already fully prepared and clothed to get ready to move, they wore the same clothing and both had identical bags in which they used to put all their clothes in. They were already washed up and got ready, when I had finally realized, I was still in my pajamas. Knowing this, I rushed back to my room and went to get a new pair of clothes that I could wear to go on the long walk.

Getting clothed, I picked up my briefcase and went over to Sakol's room. When opening the door, I saw both Sakol and Ping jumping around and chasing each other with wide smiles across their faces. The laughter was pure and echoed through the entire room. This caused me to have a grin on my face, when I finally spoken out, "Are you ready?"

Both of them quickly responded with a yes and went back to playing tag in that small room. After 10 minutes of going through my sibling's rooms and making sure everyone was prepared to go, I went over to my parent's room once again expecting them to answer the door. A few knocks later, my mother opened the door once again, and to my surprise, they were ready to start going. My dad and my both freshened up and wore their most comfortable clothes they have in the closet. My dad had a plain white shirt and some shorts, with my mom also wearing a shirt and shorts. My dad carried two bags, to which I presumed were clothes and food. My mom only carried one bag and with this bag, she carefully held close to her body.

"What's in that bag, Mom?" I asked her with an innocent voice.

"Oh, this bag? It's just something important. You know, valuables and such," she responded back without hesitation.

"Can I see what's inside?" I continuously asked her with questions, insisting on looking inside the covered up bag.

"No, no, no, just get your stuff, we're going soon okay? Tell your brother and sisters, don't be late, we'll meet you in a few minutes." At this point my dad went up to the door and closed it shut.

Once again, I went to both my brother and older sister's rooms to tell them to start going downstairs and waiting there since they'll come down soon. They all got their bags and briefcases and headed down to the dining table. With me last, I went to get my brown briefcase, and followed them downstairs. I looked up one last time and once again thought to myself that I'm going to leave this house soon for a few days, wishing I could just stay here forever. While going down the stairs, I looked down and a small tear dropped to the wooden floor, "I don't want go, I don't want to leave, I regret having the soldiers coming back here every day." I whispered to myself.

As I went to the dining table, I grabbed a seat and sat down, talking with my four siblings whom I all love dearly.

"What do you think's going to happen to us, to our home, to this city?" Ping asked everyone sitting at the table.

"I bet it's all going to be bombed, down to the ground, burned like ashes, and once again, through the rubble, the Khmer soldiers will rise and fight the Americans. We will win, and we will be victorious if the bombs ever hit." Sakol spoke back to Ping with a large smile across his face.

"Don't be silly, you don't have to worry, nothing's going to happen to you, to this home, to anyone or anything in Cambodia. It's just a threat, you understand that right Ping?" Lynn tried to say back to Ping in order to calm her down from the fear of this home getting destroyed. The only thing Lynn didn't realize was that Ping isn't the only one scared of the house getting destroyed; I too never want to leave this place in which I call home.

"Hey Lynn, don't try to make it sound all nice and full of hope. There is a reason why we have to move, not just because of a threat, it's because it's real." Sakol argued back with Lynn's statement.

"Don't try to scare everyone Sakol, look at Ping right now, her eyes look like they are full of fear, she isn't even saying anything right now." Sophea said as she tried to defend Lynn.

"Okay, okay, maybe you're right. Maybe this whole place is going to burn down to the ground and lay in its path when we come back is just going to be ashes and burned memories. However, there is a chance where nothing will happen and we are going to come back in one, two, or even three days after living out in the countryside." Lynn yelled back at Sakol as the argument started to get tenser.

"I don't get a say in this, I don't want this place to go down. I love it here, it's where I was born, where I stayed all my life, it better not go down, it better not get destroyed when we come back." I interrupted everyone sitting at the table.

"I agree, I don't want anyone to die, and you better understand I don't want this house to die or burn or fall down!" Ping said as she raised her voice in front of everyone.

After a few moments of senseless arguing, the dining table became more hectic and everyone there started to get more angry and tense.

"Don't you dare start making stories about death? Ping and even Seang are going to get scared," Lynn screamed at Sakol sitting at the opposite side of the table.

"Well, you better listen too, because the world isn't always happy. They better start learning soon about death and destruction now, or they're going to be scared forever. I am trying to make them act more like adults; they should learn more about the negative aspects of this world that we live in. It's not just fun forever, there is going to be sadness." Sakol efficiently responded back to Lynn.

As the voices started to get louder Sophea stepped into the argument once again "Calm down, we are going soon, just get your bags and be prepared to head out, Mom and Dad are going to come soon."

Coincidentally, both our parents were headed downstairs and we could see their feet coming down each step making a creak on the wooden staircase. I looked closely and could see my dad holding two bags filled with clothes and extra food in case we ever needed to eat along the way. Looking at my mother, I could see a covered up bag held between her left arm and the side of her body. It was small enough to fit money or jewelry, but looked heavy as if it was carrying gold bars inside. Wasn't gold for emergencies only, do they think it is a real emergency and we should be scared I thought to myself with the sight of my mother holding our most valuable currency in her hands.

"Okay, is everyone ready? Let's go out, I think the soldiers and tanks are still out there, will just follow them okay?" my mother said in the most calming voice.

Everyone obviously agreed to what she said and all of us headed out of the house to the rusty gate. I looked at the gate and thought to myself that this may be the last time I ever touch or see this gate, let alone this house ever again. I took a deep breath as my brother pushed the gate open and outside, I saw the tanks and soldiers all marching across the road. Carefully listening to the speakers, it was true that not only us. However, everyone in Phnom Penh had to evacuate the city based on the commanding officer's orders, and that this was an emergency evacuate because there will be American bombs dropping in the city. Maybe the bombs will drop, maybe the bombs will hit our home, I hope not, please when we come back it stays upright.

There was one soldier that spotted us at the gates and pointed us in the direction to where we were headed. I knew this city and its road, if we were to follow this path straight ahead, we would end up going to the countryside where all the field work gets done. All of us agreed to the soldier's command and followed him along the dusty path.

Walked

We continued down the path until we saw more Cambodian civilians all walking together in one road. Everyone looked confused as there were soldiers on either side of the pathway, with a tank right in front and in the back of the line of civilians. They were all moving in one clump all heading towards the same direction, the fields which all the crops gets grown, away from the city. As my family got into the line and started to move along with hundreds of other Cambodians, we saw the line stretch farther than my eye could see. It was an endless line of people similar to the marching of the soldiers instead here, everyone looked confused and tired. There were neither smiles nor laughter; it was just a frown on everyone's faces. Why did we have to walk, why do we have to leave, are the Americans really bombing Phnom Penh again I thought to myself. The atmosphere around was gloomy and tiresome, even the soldiers riding along the tanks and trucks were serious and had a straight face just looking forward. It was an unusual sight, unfamiliar than the two days before, it was much different than happiness and cheers of winning the war; it was just silent walking on the dirt road.

The sun streaked across our eyes as we saw the horizon, the sun had finally come up after 30 minutes of starting our walk from home. I looked back to see my home, the city that I lived in starting to blur from my vision. The houses starting to become hazy and disappear from my sight, all that was left now was just dirt, grass, and thousands of people. The civilians including soldiers all just looked forward, looking hopeless as we didn't know where we were going or what we were going to do there. Only the small kids were running around, having fun, unable to carry the luggage or supplies that everyone brought from their homes.

To the far front of me I saw the same green tank as I did the day before, however this time it was fixed and polished. It shined in the reflection of the blazing hot sun and looked brand new. Alongside of the roads were soldiers holding their guns walking along with us to the same destination, an unknown destination. I looked at my dad, mom, brother, and sisters, all looking very sleepy and lifeless. It was just a walk, a walk without a goal, where were we going to stay, where are all of us going to stay.

"Hey Mom, where are we going, do you know?" I asked her as I tugged on her sleeve.

"Son, just continue walking, we will get there soon. Don't worry; nothing is going to happen to us." She replied back with uncertainty in her voice.

I looked behind me as I saw Ping struggling to walk even though it has only been half an hour. Considering her age and size, it was likely she couldn't take it anymore and wanted to stop. She was huffing and taking long deep breaths, it was the first time she ever walked this long or this far. At this point, all I could see from the front and the back were just the same dirt and grassy path on each end. The front of the road was just a row of people walking on the same path all carrying their supplies from home. The back of the road was the identical with just a row of people walking, all carrying their supplies from home. If you were to look closely, you could see that mixed in with the the crowd of civilians, there were soldiers here and there, with tanks spread across the entire line. Looking at it from this point of view, there were more tanks and more soldiers than I could have ever imagined.

Another hour passed after our walk had begun early in the morning. Ping looked as tired as ever walking even slower than before. The only way she could catch up to us was because Sakol was behind her pushing her forward. We couldn't actually carry her as we were all carrying our clothes with Sakol carrying both of his and Ping's bags. At this moment, everyone was sweating from the dry air and the heat that scorched the grounds and our body. This feeling was similar to a never ending sauna that continued forever, with the only difference was that we never got to relax.

Minutes later, Ping tried to stop to take a long deep breath when one of the soldiers on top of the tanks pointed their gun at her and shouted. He yelled an order for Ping to continue moving or he will shoot her dead. Everyone who heads the command widens their eyes and looked at Ping. Neither them nor could I believe what we were hearing, just because Ping, a small child, decided to take a quick break, they were willing to shoot her dead. These weren't criminals; these were soldiers, soldiers from Cambodia, people who swore to protect Cambodians. Listening to them, I wasn't entirely sure who these people were, they wanted to kill Ping right there and now as if she was just trash. I clenched my teeth when I grabbed Ping by the shirt and pushed her forward. The soldier then lifted back his gun and continued to look straight ahead once again.

"Hey Ping, just keep going or they'll kill you." I spoke to her sounding concerned.

"Seang, are they really going to do that, I thought they were kind, I thought they were our heroes." Ping said as she looked sad and tired trying to move each foot with all her energy.

"Don't worry Ping; I don't think they meant they were going to kill you. If they even try, I'll protect you, you will never die when I'm here. Here, I'll help you." Sakol said with his pride in his voice as he picked on Ping and placed her on his back. Now, Sakol was not only carrying Ping, but also the heavy bags full of clothes and food. Not trying to slow down the line, Sakol went faster to catch up with Mom and Dad in the front.

I was staying back when I thought to myself, are they really going to kill us if we don't follow them. Were they really going to kill Ping if she didn't continue to walk? What's happening with them, why did they all change, why did they all get strict and angry? I looked as both my sisters and my brother were already ahead of me when I was behind; I then started to run forward to also catch up with them. I too was also tired just like Ping as I am not used to walking these far distances. It has already been an hour and 30 minutes since I started walking when I started to feel my leg ache in pain. Remembering what happened just recently when Ping tried to stop, I convinced myself to keep on going so that the soldiers don't yell at me also. I looked ahead and the road kept on going, it never stopped, I wonder how long until we reach the location of where we stop.

Another hour passed as I looked ahead Sakol was getting tired trying to carry Ping on his back and even Lynn and Sophea were starting to get leg pains. Looking even further, I saw my dad who was trying his best to continue walking as he was old and had trouble walking long distances. It has almost been three hours of straight walking and everywhere I looked was all similar, nothing different, and nothing new. The road and path also started to get harder to navigate on as people do not usually walk here, there were bumps in the road and muddy pathways which we had to walk over.

Stepping on the muddy pathway, my whole feet got covered in mud and I was starting to not only get tired but disgusted by the conditions that we were walking in. I wasn't used to walking in such dirty places, specifically stepping in mud; however everyone else was fine with walking over anything. The sun was already at its peak so the time was around 11:00 in the morning. I started to get hungry as neither I nor my entire family ate breakfast in the morning. The sun kept on getting hotter and the weather kept on getting more uncomfortable as my shirt was drenched in sweat. My belly grumbled as I went over to Sakol to as if he has any food leftover.

"Hey, did you pack anything to eat?" I asked Sakol.

"Sorry, I only packed fruit, I didn't know we were going to be walking this long. Here you can take this orange, you know how to peel it right?" He teased me as he handed me one orange for me to eat.

I tried peeling it, but it was hard for me since my mom usually opens it for me to eat. It is always prepared nicely every afternoon after we come back to school. I tried my best to peel the orange when I finally was able to see the juicy meat of the orange. Having one bite of the orange, I had an immediate feeling of satisfaction and a flow of energy. It felt like a great boost of power as the sweetness of the orange helped me continue walking. I looked over at Ping to see if she wanted any as she was still on Sakol's back looking at the trees in the horizon. Ping quickly accepted my offer and she too had a quick reaction as she smiled when she took a bite of the orange. Both Lynn and Sophea didn't look hungry as they were probably had no appetite after walking for such an extended amount of time.

Another hour passed and it was 12:00, right when we usually eat Lunch. I looked at other people in the line, and saw most of the people didn't pack any food with them, probably thinking that the trip would take a short time. Looking above, I saw the soldiers having a freshly packed meal and were eating to their hearts extend. I then looked at the front to my surprise, I saw one man looking at the tank above him trying to ask for the soldier to give him some food for him and his family. My eyes grew large as I saw the soldier yelling at the man to shut up, and just continue moving, as he jumped down the tank and took out his gun. The soldier then proceeded to swing the gun and smacked the man across the face. The man looked hungry and tired as he fell on the ground with his face bleeding from the hit of the gun. He looked hopeless and he started to cry, now instead of asking for the food of the soldier, he begged for the leftovers for his family.

The soldier then continued to hit the man with his gun a few more times, before the man grew unconscious from the blow of the gun. Looking at his face, it had a huge cut that stretched from his forehead to his chin and dark red blood started to drip down to the dirt ground. The man coughed a bit and he couldn't move anymore. At this point, the soldier went back to his tank and got back on to the tank to continue sitting. By the time the family finally realized that their father was on the ground bleeding to death, it was already too late as the man was just on the ground, nobody had a care to help him up. I looked back as I saw the family kneeling down trying to help him up and get back on his feet. I knew it was useless since there was no way, he would wake back up from the strikes of the gun. I started to look disgusted by the thought that one of our soldiers had the courage to kill one of them, one Cambodian, someone they were trying to help. From that moment, I immediately regretted the thought of the soldiers coming back yesterday and marching along the same path. The soldiers all had horrible intentions and were all willing to kill their own kind. A tear fell from my cheek as I quietly said to me "Why, why, why did they kill him? Aren't the heroes of Cambodia, aren't they the one to save and protect. They shouldn't be the ones to kill, I had been lied to. Even our soldiers are our enemies.

I then heard a loud female scream from the back of the line in the same place of where the man had just recently died. Staring closer, I saw it was the wife screaming to her son to not fight the soldiers. The son didn't listen, he went and started to try and fight against the soldiers who had guns, and he who had nothing. A few moments later, a gunshot was heard all the way from the front of the line, there was no more screaming, no more fighting. It was a horrific scene of bloodshed, tears, and pain from the family. They had just lost their father and their son to the Cambodian soldier.

The walk still continued as we continued to walk for a longer time. There was no stopping. Whenever people tried to question the soldiers of our final destination, they were told to be quiet, or to continue to walk. Whoever disobeyed was then beaten or smacked by the soldier's gun. In this point of time, many people were too tired to continue and were left to die, most of them couldn't walk anymore specifically the elders and they were forgotten as the walk continued. There was no sympathy, no kindness, no help; it was just the soldiers sitting on the tanks or trucks, with the civilians and all of Phnom Penh walking and trying their best to carry what they could.

It has been many hours and I had lost track of the time, I looked back and forth and saw that the great amounts of people that had started this trip to walk and get away from the bombings had lowered by at least hundreds or more. I was stunned to see the amount of people that were not able to make the trip on foot due to their inability to walk for great amounts of time. Thinking back to myself, I barely could walk this much not only if I had the food that Sakol had prepared before we left. From the start of the trip people already began to look hopeless, now they look depressed and desperate for the journey to end and to get a rest or a good meal. The sun was already slowly going down and everyone was already tired most tried their best to continue walking forward. The people that stopped along the way were either killed or left behind as said by the soldiers; they do not need any useless people who cannot care for themselves. Remembering that at the beginning of the victory a few days back, I wanted to be just like these soldiers who help Cambodia. I now regret everything I said about their pride and their jobs as soldiers. They are cruel and have no remorse for other people; they are even willing to kill their own people, us, Cambodians.

I looked at everyone in my family, they all had a frown on their face and were exhausted from the long walk, Dad was now holding on to the bags at the end of his fingertips. Even Sakol had to put Ping down in order for her to walk herself since he was getting tired. Due to the conditions of the road and the quality, our feet had bright red blisters and cuts all over. Our shoes were all covered in dirt and mud, and most people took off their shoes along the way. Some even took of their shirts in order to prevent heat stroke due to the strong weather conditions while walking. Along the way, Sakol, Lynn, and Sophea all dropped most of the bags they were carrying in order to make it easier for them to continue the walk. Although, Mom was still holding on to her covered up bag filled with gold as tight as she could not allowing the soldiers nor anyone else to see what was inside.

The soldiers who were riding the tanks were greedy and would not give the people walking, any food or help when we asked. They would either turn us down or tell us to be quiet or hit us until we listen to what they say. This pathway seemed like a road to hell and despair with no light at the end of the tunnel. Even right now, none of us know where we are headed, but after a long period of time, they finally responded with "We will be there soon."

Looking back, and forth, left and right, everything was just fields beyond fields, grass, dirt, and trees. I wonder where we could stay, how we are able to live here in this place, in this dirt ground. I didn't even bother to ask my family since it would waste not only their energy, but my energy. I didn't bother thinking about what would happen and where we went; all I did was close my eyes and hoped for the walk to end.

When the sun was falling going down, the line had finally stopped to a halt. I looked straight ahead and saw that everyone stopped moving and looked at each other confused. Then people starting to move in different directions, the path split into four different sections. After finally understood where everyone was going, I realized that our family was being separated. The adult males, men who are older than 18, went to a different path, boys and girls under 18 went elsewhere, females who are older than 18 were also separated, and finally elders went with another line of people. I was being removed after an enormous amount of hours walked together; I couldn't meet my family anymore. Everything started happening so fast, I could only hear screams of other kids, cries from mothers, fathers, and siblings. The soldiers tried forcing everyone to be separated, I couldn't believe my eyes or my ears, it was the sound of pain, sadness, despair, and fear. I wouldn't be able to meet my mother again, my father again, Sakol, Lynn, Sophea, and even Ping, I will never be able to meet them again. I started to cry loudly screaming as the soldiers tried to pull me away from my loved ones. I looked at my parents as tears started to cloud my vision, they looked back at me and I could see their heart broken into pieces. Not only they, but Sakol, Lynn, Sophea, and Ping were all sad as well, but no one knew what to do. The separation happened so fast that before I could regain my thoughts of what just happened, we were already moving in separate paths. Sakol was by himself, Lynn and Sophea were together, Ping was the road to the right of me, my mom on the road to the left, and my dad at a different path. I asked the soldier with the little voice I had left where we were going and he responded with a sigh and said "You'll meet them again, this is just a requirement for the beginning, don't worry."

The soldier was right because in 10 minutes later the road connected once again and I saw them once again. A smile jolted across my face and one of the soldiers got on top of the tank and yelled as loud as he could "You are all now awake, soon we will be arriving at our residence." This message was said across every part of the line all the way from the back to the front. The separation was just to wake us up and make us prepared to stay in a new house in a new home.

Minutes later, the soldier was correct and my family and I were removed from the line and were brought with hundreds of other people to a small wooden home in a field surrounded with trees and other wooden houses nearby. This place was similar to a village as there was multiple houses next to each other, all connected by a small road leading up to a much bigger road which I presumed would be the leader's home. As three soldiers brought us to our new home, they pushed to the door and said "Get ready. Here is where you'll stay, get used to it." The soldiers then left us in front of the wooden house and we all looked at each other confused. The wooden house was small and cramped, and hadn't been cleaned in ages. It was very different from our house in the city and looked dirty and a disgusting place to stay. I hated it; I wished we were back at home.
Hard Labor

The morning we woke up, there was a loud bang on the door, and my entire family woke up. The sound kept going in a pattern until Sakol went to open the door. Standing there was a guy holding a gun, a soldier, looking straight at us until he yelled, "Let's go, and get up!" He pointed the gun at everyone in the family and kept yelling for us to go, until everyone started moving. We only had a few minutes to go ready and everyone was in a rush to change. Everyone was already tired from the long walk the day before and did not have that much energy to be woken up so early in the morning. After getting ready with the clothes I had packed from home, I looked at everyone else and they were already clothed. Looking outside, I saw the sun was still down and has not risen up yet meaning that the time was around 5:00 in the morning. I rubbed my eyes when I noticed outside was more soldiers in the back holding their guns looking at everyone with no emotion. When I got out, they grabbed my wrist tightly and pushed me over to a group of other boys around my age. Although looking through the group of boys they were from the ages of 4-17. Looking back, I saw Ping was brought to a different group of just girls, Lynn, Sophea, and Mom were brought together with other women, Sakol was brought to a group with grown up men, and Dad was in his own separate group. We all then headed different directions as the soldiers separated us. I looked at everyone's faces and they all looked confused not knowing what was happening. I started to struggle in order to try and regroup with my family, but they just yelled at me and pointed the gun directly at my head. At this moment, I knew I had to be quiet and follow orders or I would be dead on the warm dirt floor.

A few minutes past, and I went over to ask one of the soldiers where we were heading, he responded with "We are going to camp in order to educate you." The soldier had a smirk on his face as he then continued moving forward. I turned my head around scanning the area and saw the other boys looking sad, hopeless, and afraid. They too didn't know what was going to happen or what these soldiers were going to do to them.

After we finally reached the camp, I realized that the place was just a giant wooden roof with pillars surrounding the ends, and tables in the middle. Next to this building was a giant field and hundreds of acres of land all being heated by the warmth of the sun, by the time we got here, the sun was already rising and we could see the shine burning through Cambodia. The soldiers all started to sit us down in the tables and we all looked towards the front. There was a child around our age, who was leading the group. He talked loudly and confidently about what we were here for and why.

"Everyone, from now on this will be the new Kampuchea, a new place of wonders and powers. We are the children, the men that will lead Cambodia to a higher power, to the time before fighting, to the golden age of the great Angkor times. Remember when our ancestors built the great Angkor Wat and ruled for centuries as the greatest, the most powerful. At that time, everyone worked, everyone participated, everyone was equal, and the workers were the leaders, not the commanders. We will celebrate this occasion with an anthem that we will sing every day. A few days before on April 17, that was our victory against the Americans. Now, to make Kampuchea a better place, we must build it up once again from our sweat and blood. This is a new place, a democracy; we shall be the ones who push this revolution. Hooray for Kampuchea, hooray for our mother land!" The person all the way in the front of the building spoke with voices of pride and happiness. He then proceeded to sing a song, an anthem, loud enough for everyone to repeat after him.

" The bright scarlet blood

Flooded over the towns and plains of our motherland Kampuchea,

The blood of our good workers and farmers,

Our revolutionary fighters' blood, both men and women.

Their blood produced a great anger and the courage

To contend with heroism.

On 17 April, under the revolutionary banner,

Their blood freed us from the state of slavery.

Hurrah, hurrah,

For the glorious 17 April!

That wonderful victory had greater significance

Than the Angkor period!

We are uniting

To construct a Kampuchea with a new and better society,

Democratic, egalitarian and just.

We follow the road to firmly-based independence.

We absolutely guarantee to defend our motherland,

Our fine territory, our magnificent revolution!

Hurrah, hurrah,

Hurrah! For the new Kampuchea

A splendid, democratic land of plenty!

We guarantee to raise aloft and wave the red banner of the revolution.

We shall make our motherland prosperous beyond all others,

Magnificent, wonderful!"

After the song finished, I realized that this was the song that was sung by the soldiers the last few days. This chant, this anthem, I understood that it was to celebrate our victory, but more importantly it was a revolutionary anthem for our 'new country'. I looked around the building and everyone was standing up singing along, some repeated, some kept quiet. It was an odd time since we still didn't know why we were here, and if we will ever return back home.

When the voices finally lowered down, the boy in the front spoke once again in a more lower tone and his facial expression frowned, "This is the most important part, the rules of this new society that we will create together. Whoever disobeys or is thought to be a traitor to our new ideology will go to prison with no questions asked. You as the young members of this country will be asked to take an important role of reporting any misbehaviors or traitors including your own family. Yes, if your mother, father, and siblings are thought to be breaking these rules, they should go to prison. This is the only way our new Kampuchea will advance to power."

He then proceeded to talk about the main rules of this new society. There were a total of ten rules that we had to remember.

1. There will be two meals per day, there should be no extra food given out, no more nor no less. The first meal will be in the in the morning and the next meal will be in the afternoon.

2. There should be no form of literature, no books, no writing, and no letters

3. You should not leave your homes outside the curfew.

4. You will have to wake up every day at and be ready at these camps every 6:00 in the morning.

5. You are not allowed to take breaks during the working hours and will be held punishable if you tend to do so.

6. There will be no religion practices, it is forbidden in this new country.

7. Nobody will own property, there is no such thing as private property, and everything is shared equally between everyone.

8. Everyone will have to wear the same clothing that we provide you in order to fit and show equality.

9. There will be no trading between other people, there will be no form or market or trading system, there is no more currency between people.

10. You should not perform any more of the traditional Khmer traditions since this is a better and more advanced society than before. We should not mention anything of the past Cambodia from now on. We will only look towards the future and the hope of pride and power.

"These are the new rules, we expect everyone here to follow them. If you happen to break these rules under any circumstance there will be consequences from prison to death. We ask everyone here that if you see anyone breaking ten rules, you must, must report it to your supervisor or the leader in charge. You do not need to worry if they are your family, anyone who tries to betray this new society, is family to none of us. Everyone here are individuals who should all strive to make Kampuchea a better place, you are the children who will lead this philosophy to the generations that will come in the future. Hooray Kampuchea, hooray everyone!" The boy in the front shouted as he raised his hands in the air in a fluid motion. Everyone then clapped and cheered as the boy left the front of the building to go outside. Thinking to myself that if I ever saw my parents or siblings breaking these rules, I could never bring myself to turn them into the authorities, I don't want them died nor do I want them to go to prison. I just want to return home safely with everyone and be together once again.

Soon after, another man came into the building with two soldiers by his side holding guns in their two hands. He walked in with shades and a krama which is a Khmer scarf that is wrapped around the neck to protect from the sun. He had white clothing and looked clean and looked full of food. I thought to myself that this man appears to be one of the high officials, a leader of this new revolution.

"Attention everyone, you will now begin work, please change into the prepared clothing outside that will be handed to you by the soldiers. We ask everyone to wear these clothes and head outside to the fields once their done. Instructions will be given out later once on the fields." The man then spoke will a clear and bold voice and left the building with his two guards by either side.

Everyone then got up from their seats and headed out of the building to the right where all the soldiers were holding their guns and around a hundred clothes were prepared. When I picked one up, I saw that the clothes were black and every set of clothes were the same. Each set had a long sleeved black button shirt and trousers with a krama and sandals as shoes. The krama were colored red and white with stripes as a normal krama would look like. Before leaving to the fields, all the kids were then stopped and I saw in the front of the line that everyone needed to get a haircut. When it was my turn to get the haircut, I looked at the barber and him an expressionless face, and quickly cut my hair short. My hairstyle was similar to a military cut and would better fit for labor in the hot sun.

When we finally left to go to the fields, we all arrived in a large group everyone looking the same as the person right beside them. A man got to the front of the crowd and spoke in a large voice, "We are the workers, we will provide for ourselves for food through farming, everyone will have to work in these fields everyday as everyone will participate in rebuilding Cambodia. Our goal for this year will be to create an average of three metric tons of rice for every hectare of land in Cambodia. If you do not know how to farm, you will learn, if you choose not to follow, you will be beaten and killed. We advise to follow with our commands and our rules if you want to survive. Food is something we will create together, everyone is workers, and everyone is survivors."

We all then got our farming utensils to begin digging through the field in order to make space for the seeds to be planted. Personally, I did not know who to farm so I had to watch another kid who was a bit older than me, and had a better physique. He was skinny, but much stronger than me as he could easily plow through the fields in these hot conditions. I wasn't used to this hard labor, and I wasn't used to working for long periods of time under the same. My daily hobbies before I came here were just playing hide and seek and other games with my friends at school or with my brother and sisters. Every time I tried to plow through a section of the field with my shovel, I would constantly get the thought of why do we have to do this, is this my life forever, and will I ever get back to my normal life. I looked at other kids in the field, and they too looked desperate for getting out of the work. Nobody looked prepared to do this work physically nor mentally as this was probably their first time working in the fields.

We worked on digging up the dirt for the next three or four hours until the sun was going down. At this point everyone was tired and I could barely move my arms or feet from all the work I had done trying to dig up the dirt in the field. An hour before, I saw a kid get brutally hit by a gun before getting shot in the head with the blood splattering all over the ground. They picked him out of the hole he was in from digging, and brought him over behind a forest. Apparently, he didn't listen to orders and decided to sit down and take a break because he was too tired to move. The soldiers then proceeded to hit him multiple times causing gapping wounds in his face before shooting him right through his forehead. We could hear the bloody screams of the child all the way from the forest and it sent chills down my spine. I couldn't have imagined what they were doing and how these soldiers who meant to protect us from enemies, were the ones killing and inflicting pain.

When the hour passed, the soldiers who were watching us work called us up and out of the fields to go get some food. By this time, I was drenched in sweat from the bottom of the top. My hands were covered in dirt and my nails were broken as if it has been smashed by a rock. My feet were cut and had many scratches throughout the barefoot as occasionally when working my sandals would fall off when I was digging. When we finally got the food that was prepared for us in a large wooden building, I saw how little food they gave us. When I looked in my bowl, it was just a porridge that has been added with specks of salt and my face frowned. I looked around as other people were disappointed by their meal that they have been given after many hours of work. However, when one of the kids complained, they were smacked across the fast by one of the guards and he fell towards the ground. None of us dared to argue for more food because it would result in a cruel punishment as stated by the rules of not receiving any more or less food than given.

After we finished our food, we were called back to work once again in the fields until very late at night. By the time we were finished, the sun had already gone down and we could hear the crickets in the night. The soldiers brought us back to our respective homes and I couldn't feel or move any more of my muscles anymore. Any strength I had left was gone and I couldn't even look forward since I was too tired.

When I arrived back home to the wooden house, I was greeted by my family. There I saw Ping, Lynn, Sophea, Sakol, Mother, and Father once again. I rushed and went and hugged everyone who was just as tired. I saw how Ping, Lynn, Sophea, and my mom had their hair cut short similar to my haircut. They hugged me back and asked if I was okay, and I was responded with a simple yes.

I was glad that my whole family was alive and no one got injured or died today. I looked at Ping and saw how she looked like a different person, her hair was short, her legs and arms were filled with dirt, and she looked lifeless. She looked like she could barely move herself and Ping was just sitting on Father's lap snoring. She was too tired to stay awake and she already went to sleep. I couldn't believe what they made her do, what they made Ping do. I thought to myself, is this going to happen every day, but I never asked my family. I didn't want to know the answer, I didn't want to know the truth, and I just wanted this nightmare to end.

They also had the same style of clothes of black and everyone looked similar. The house that we were provided with didn't have a shower or a bathroom; it only had beds and was very tiny. The house was dirty and very shaky with a sudden touch as if it was not supported very well by the wooden pillars. Their day was probably just as tiring as my day since they also had to work from morning to night.

I was too tried to get clean and change my clothes, so I went tried to go straight to bed. When I went to my small room, it was just a mat on the floor, when checking throughout the room; it was filled with cockroaches and different types of insects. I was mortified by the sight of the bugs and I went to call my brother to kill them for me. He looked at me and teased me with two words "Still Scared?" as he laughed. Even with all that happened today, my brother was still able to laugh, he always knew how to make things happier.

When the bugs finally fled from my room and there was none to be found I lied in bed and tried to go to sleep. I closed my eyes and could feel tears rushing down, I don't want to live this life, and I don't want to be stuck here for many years. My mom then came in and kneels down, I then felt her arms wrapped around my back.

"It's going to be okay Seang, I'll protect you, and we will live. Don't worry." She whispered into my ears. I could feel the words empowering me, the love flowing through my body and into my heart. I had a small smile and I took a deep breath.

"I love you Mom." I whispered back to her, as I brushed off my tears and closed my eyes once again to go to sleep for another day.

Hunger

Months passed after we finally arrived in the countryside of Cambodia. Every day was the same, we had to work from when the sun rose to when the sun set. The differences between today and the beginning of this horrible new society were that the food portions kept getting smaller and the death count kept growing larger.

Waking up this morning, I felt my belly grumble for head similar to every other day. I haven't eaten full or good meal ever since we came. From the start of the small bowl of porridge with salt it slowly became a few spoonful of porridge. Right now, my body was small, skinny; the bones in my body were showing with clarity. A mile away you could see the rib cages due to the low amount of food that we eat daily.

As my daily routine, I woke up at around 4:00 in the morning, before the sun even rose. I had to wake up this early in order to fetch water from the far away river for my family to wash their bodies and drink. My feet were covered in blisters due to the amount of walking I had to do every day from morning to night. Walking to the river this early, the sky was still dark. I had to walk through the dark forest and through a commentary which was the place of thousands of deaths. Everyday piles of bodies would continue to stagger on this one location, rising up. Hundreds of people died every day due to starvation, disease, torture, or killings if they were traitor to this society. Walking through the forest I could hear the sound of rustling of the leaves and the wind howling throughout. Looking left and right, I tried to make sure I wasn't seen or caught by any of the guards. Doing this every day was dangerous due to the fact that if I was caught at any moment they would consider me a traitor to the society. I would then be killed or even worse tortured until death. The worst part about this would be that the fact my family would also get blamed for my actions and they too would be sent to jail in order to face death. Everyone who was related to each other would all be sent to jail with no reason other than they were a 'traitor'. We all had to be responsible for our actions, so everyone had to watch out every second of the day. When going through the forest to the river, I would always follow a specific pattern of trees in order to find my way.

When I first started going to the river, I would get lost along the way. In order to find my way back home, I would have to rely on my instinct and to follow the smell of fresh fruit. Our house was near one of the commander's houses, so it was always filled with food. When this society meant equality, I didn't expect it to mean that the leaders of the revolution would be well fed, while the workers were left to starve and work every minute of their lives. Living here was torture itself, you couldn't do what you wanted to do, you couldn't eat any more than given, and you were forced to live by their rules.

When I finally got to the river, the walk was about 8-10 kilometers. It took me about an hour to get there by running. By the time I was there, the sun was already rising and I knew I had limited time to fetch the water in the bucket that I brought with me. I rushed to get to the river and took a quick swim washing away the dirt from yesterday. The river water was cool and refreshing; I could feel the nice blow of the wind as I emerged myself in the water. Even though the water itself wasn't clear, the water was still good enough to use for water to drink if heated or water for cleansing. Although, since I had many cuts around my body, the water burned my skin, but it still felt refreshing from working the day before. After a quick five minute swim I went back up and scooped up a bucket of water for home. The bucket with the water was around one to two kilos heavy. I had to use both my hands in order to carry the bucket around and considering I had to walk back 8-10 kilometers, every morning I was already very tired. The only thing that kept me going and motivated was that it was to help my family. I would do anything for anyone in my family from my dad to Ping; I would help them all especially considering the conditions we were in. While carrying the bucket back, I tried my best to make sure none of the water spilled out of the bucket, I didn't want to waste any of my effort going back and forth from the river to home.

Minutes going back home from the river, I heard a rustling in the forest, my head quickly turned back and forth scanning the area. I then heard a loud gunshot and some noises talking to each other. Looking closely I saw the feet of multiple men, remembering the clothing, there were guards who occasionally walk through the forest to stop anyone escaping or getting food and water just like myself. I quickly grabbed the bucket and rushed over to get behind a large tree. I started breathing heavily as I realized this could be the end of my life, I could die here and have everyone in my family go to prison for accompanying a traitor. Sweat rolled down face and on to the floor, and I started panting. My heart was racing as the sounds of the voices grew larger. They were coming closer to me and I didn't know what to do. I looked up at the sky and prayed that the guards wouldn't check behind this tree. I then closed my eyes, got down on my knees, and tried to stay as still as I could.

The leaves rustled once again, and the footsteps were becoming more distant. The guards voiced started to lower and the shackling of the guns were stopped. I took a deep breath and slowly peeked my head out from the tree. First I looked left, and then I turned my head to look right. Nobody was there, it was just me once again as the guards had left my area. I had a slight laugh to myself and a small smile, "I survived." I whispered to myself.

I then got up and continued walking back home, but this time my movements were quicker trying to avoid the same incident that had just occurred. I looked at my bucket filled with water and realized that some of the water had spilled when I was hiding; I shook my head and rushed home.

When I got back the sun was rising and it was almost time to begin work in the fields once again. I brought the bucket of water to my family and they were happy to see me come back home. They are always like this every day since they know that every time I go to the river, I am risking my life out there. My mom got the water and went to heat some up in order to be used for drinking, while Lynn and Sophea got the rest of the water left to be used to be the clothes and to take a quick shower if there was any water left. The time to go to work was coming soon and we were all starting to get prepared. I wore the same black set of clothing that I usually wear every day and went out to my camp. The camp is the name they use for the fields as they say it is for working and educating the young. However, I know this is true since they are just using our strength and our youth to farm while they sit back and enjoy watching us work and relax. The society of equality isn't what it is said to be, there is a clear distinction between us and the leaders. Even the soldiers are treated better than us; we are treated worse than animals. The chickens, cows, and pigs are all fed well, while we are fed barely a minimum to survive. With no nutrients, sugar, or protein, many people are at the last tread for food and are at the line of starvation.

When I got to the camp, it was around 6:30 in the morning, the sun was already rising and I saw the other teenagers looking tired and hungry as ever. Most of them looked hopeless just waiting for the next day to finish while others looked dead physically and mentally. I was one of them who looked hopeless just working until the day ended. I went to get the shovel and continued digging through the dirt, this was the main part of what we were doing while another group of teenagers were farming and planting the rice in order to harvest new rice to eat. Even if we were to supply the country with as much rice as they needed, we knew that in the end we would still only get a tiny amount to eat while the superiors would get as much as they asked for. The work was tiring as the hot sun and dry air made it hard to breathe and work in. Yesterday it rained, and the holes that we had dug were covered in mud and rain water. When stepping our feet would sink to the ground up to our ankles as the mud was still soft.

Whenever it rains, many people get sick from the mud and worms start to grow in their stomach due to the horrible conditions. I hit the hole with my shovel and a splash of mud and water hit my face. The ground was black and was mixed in with washed up leaves and grass. Today was a much tiring day than usual since we had to clean up the mess the rain had done the day before by digging up the mud and planting the rice seeds once again.

Two hours later it was time for our first break. The food today consisted of the same thing of five spoons of porridge in our one plate. I finished the food in under a minute and was still craving for more, but as usual we couldn't ask for more or we would be beaten or at the most extreme, could have been killed for asking. When I finished with my food, I looked at the corner of my eye to see one kid fall right on his back on to the floor. His eyes were closed and he wasn't breathing. The soldiers came in and picked him off the floor and disappeared with the body. This was usual during these times as most kids aren't able to have energy to work with just small amount of porridge. The boy died on the floor, looking lifeless, as I could see the bones of his body though his black shirt. It was a horrendous sight that I have to witness every day.

After our break had abruptly ended by the sounds of soldiers, we were all rushed back to the fields to continue working. Again, for multiple hours we did the same task over and over again. We couldn't talk to anyone; we couldn't do anything other than dig and plant. The repeated work was dull and tiring as it required our arm muscles and leg muscles in order to successfully harvest the crops or to plow the dirt with our brute strength. Even though I had done this for months, I had not gain any muscle due to the fact that every day was starvation and lack of sleep.

Another break happened when the sun was going down and as usual we were given the same food once again. It was just five spoons of porridge on the plate. Then the same event happened, another kid fell to the floor, dying of starvation. The soldiers just picked the kid up as if he was trash and brought him away. It was as if the soldiers thought we were disposable and reusable as they did not give a care in the world if we were hungry, exhausted, or sick. We had to work no matter our health conditions, no matter how much energy we had left. If we didn't follow what they commanded, we were killed. It is a brutal thing to happen when I saw the kid gets hit with a whip until blood starts dripping on the floor creating a dark red puddle. It is horrible when I heard the sounds of death and cries of pain coming from someone right next to me, but you can't help. I could smell the foul odor of rotten corpses in the fields creating an aroma I couldn't get out from. The worst part of all is that I can still imagine and have an image of this in my mind wherever I go, I can't forget the thought of death when I see it every day.

When the work finally ended at night time when the moon rose and the sun fell, we were all tired once again. However, my work wasn't done, every night I have to sneak out of my home to risk my life and gather food for my family. Since I am the smallest and more capable than Ping, I was the only one suitable for going out in night. I went to the forest and to the cemetery where no soldier goes due to the fact of the dead corpses lying around. In the cemetery there is a great amount of insects lying around that can be used for food for example grasshoppers and crickets. Even since I was forced into the point of starvation, I had to become more independent, I had to face my fears. The fear that I had of insects had to be removed because i had no other choice, I had to live with them; I had to eat them if I wanted to survive. I trained myself and tried my hardest ever since the beginning to never get scared of bugs in my entire life, they are harmless, and they save me from death.

Out at night, I am extra-cautious because if any soldiers were to catch me, I would've been killed. It was a life and death situation, a risk of my life every night to gather extra food. Not only would this but occasionally I go to the nearby farms where they have chickens and try to steal the chicken eggs while the soldiers are guarding the farm house. This was the most dangerous part since when near the barn I was very close to the guards and had only one chance to take the eggs when they weren't looking. The final way I could get more food for my family would be through fishing. It is illegal in this society to gather fish in the ponds, lakes, or river, so I could only do it at night. During this time the sky is cold, and the water is cold, the weather conditions are harsh and I only have a limited time to fish every night. Some days I take a risk to go fishing as if I don't return back with fresh fish; my family would be starving that day.

When I finally gathered the insects and stole only one of the chicken eggs that I could find, I ran back home trying to hide from all the soldiers. I walked past the cemetery filled with decomposing corpses and skeletons of past Cambodians and through the eerie air. I could hear the crickets and wind blowing in the dark starry night. I brought the food back to my family late at night around midnight and they enjoyed a nice meal of rice and egg with a side of fried crickets. Everyone in the family thanked me for the food and the risk I took to gather more food during the night. Some days I am lucky to bring back food, others I have none leftover and none to feed them.

Last Words

I went on my usual morning journey to the river in order to gather water for my family. When I got back home with the bucket of water I saw soldiers at the door. I quickly evaded their vision onto a nearby tree and watched them from afar. I could hear their voices screaming for something, for someone. "Get out now!" one of the soldiers yelled to the door. He was knocking multiple times; each consecutive hit grew stronger and louder.

When the door finally opened he pointed the gun at the person who opened the door, it was my mom. The soldier then continued to scream for a different person, they screamed for my dad to come out. I then saw Mom go back inside and Sakol came out to greet the soldiers. "What do you want?" Sakol asked the soldiers with a bold voice.

"We need him, he was accused to be a traitor of this country, and he will go to prison." The soldier responded as he dropped the gun. "Get him out now, this is an order or you will all die!"

Seconds later Dad came out of the dark house and out into the bright light of the sun. There he stood shaking, tired, and he coughed as he was getting old. The soldier grabbed him by the arm and pushed away from the door of the house. I saw the pain in my dad's eye; he dropped to the ground and couldn't move. The soldier then picked him up by his wrist and dragged him along the dirt path staining his black clothes with mud. I couldn't bare it any longer; I dropped the bucket and yelled at the soldiers "Why, why are you doing this? Stop this, he has done nothing wrong, don't kill him!"

The soldier looked and stared right into my black eyes, I could feel a chill down my spine regretting what I had just said. The soldier rushed at me with his gun and slammed the gun right onto my stomach. The sensation of pain grew quickly as I groan and fell to the dirt floor on my knees. I looked up as I could see the soldier; he spat on my face and ordered me to get down on the ground. He then used his hard foot and kicked me once again in the same place. I coughed up spit as I could feel the pain rushing throughout my body. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move my arms nor my legs, I couldn't stop. The kicking kept going as the soldier kept screaming and yelling for me to get back up on my feet. He then used his gun and smacked me across my face, the gun cut through my skin and blood started to drip out on to the floor. The gun hit the side of my check so I hard I was losing conscious, I had a difficult time keeping my eyes open as I saw the other soldiers dragging my dad away. I wasn't able to keep my eyes up anymore, my vision slowly faded, my dad getting carried away by these cruel soldiers. This was going to be the last time I will see my dad I thought to myself, nobody who goes to prison ever comes out alive. I then felt a soft warm hand placed on my body, I didn't recognize whose hand it was, but it felt comforting. I could feel as the hands picked me up from the ground and then a felt a rush of water on my face. Even though I wanted to get back up on my feet and to run after my dad, I couldn't move my body. I could feel as a tear ran across my face, over the bloody cut.

"Just rest Seang, just stay still." A calming voice spoke to me as I slowly dazed away into sleep.

I woke up an hour later just in time for work in the fields once again. I couldn't be late, no one could be late or they would get beaten and killed for disobeying orders. I looked and left and right and saw my mother sitting on the cold hard floor. She was in despair, she looked down and I could see her face, it had shown tears. I tried getting up, but a rush of pain strikes my body once again. I hovered my hand over my stomach as I coughed and tiny amounts of blood came out. I went over to the left and tried to get the water that I had gathered just recently. Trying my hardest I had no strength to even lift up the bucket, then my mom came over and picked up the bucket for me. I responded with a thank you and hugged my mom tightly. I didn't want to lose her even if my dad is gone. I didn't have a shred of hope that my dad would still live, I knew that he would die there in prison.

As explained by rumors around the field, the prison is a hell hole. It was the place of starvation, disease, and worst of all bloodshed. There prisoners are tortured every second of every day that there are kept in there. I heard that each cell in the prison could barely fit one human and there was no space to move, no space to breathe. There was no windows, no bright light; the prisoners were stuck in a small tight cell in complete darkness just awaiting pain and death. I heard horror stories of the torture and how you could even hear the screams of death even a mile away when working at the fields. It is said to be so horrible, so inhumane that prisoners here aren't even allowed to kill themselves; they are stuck by chains just awaiting pain for days to come. I didn't want my dad to face that pain, I didn't want my dad to live in prison, worse than working here in the fields, and I could never imagine what they do there. I don't want to imagine the sorrow and depression the prisoner's face worse conditions than working in the fields from day to night. I used all my strength to cry out loudly into my mom's shoulders, a sob of pure sadness.

I then got up and tried to regain my balance, I had to go to the fields as I didn't want to be late for curfew. Even with what had just happened to me, I had to go no matter what conditions I was in, that was the rule, and we had to obey it. I quickly washed my clothes from the blood and exited out the door. I saw my mom behind me and she was also getting ready to leave to go to her camp. I slowly walked there under the hot sun, swaying back and forth, I had no energy left but I had to keep going.

One step at a time I finally arrived at the fields and did the same work I did the day before. This time I worked even slower and heard the guards watching me yelling to go faster or else they would come and hit me. I looked left and right and saw as no one cared if I looked hurt, they just continued working on their own task and the guards didn't care, they just kept watching observing our every move.

By the time our first break came I was out of breath and couldn't move a muscle anymore. I couldn't even eat the porridge and just closed my eyes resting with the little amount of time we had. The image of my dad being dragged away kept appearing in my mind. I couldn't believe I didn't want to believe that my dad is going to die. That was the last time I will ever see him again, that was the last time he'll ever see me, I never even got to say goodbye to him. I used my sleeve to wipe the tears that was coming down my face and the break ended shortly after. We got back to work and once again I had trouble picking up the shovel and plowing the dirt.

When the second and last break for today came, I was gasping for breath as my arms and legs were shaking by themselves. I could barely sit down let alone walk forward to the seat. I didn't eat anything today and I thought I was going to die. I thought to myself that I wouldn't be able to go and get food since I was injured from the morning, I couldn't help my family for a while since I was in pain from the soldier in the morning.

The second break finished and I worked once again until the work for the day finished. I walked back home just waiting to go to bed and sleep. I didn't want to think anything or about my dad, I just wanted to get rest and prepare for the next day. I knew someday I had to realize that my dad will die soon, but I didn't want to think about that today.

When I got home, I was greeted with a hug by mom as she cried tears of joy that I was able to get back home today. She told me that I didn't have to go out this night if I didn't want to and I hugged her back.

"Are you okay Seang?" Sakol spoke to me with a voice of concern.

"What happened, are you tired, let me get you some water to wash up." Lynn said as she rushed to get a cup of water for me.

"Hey Seang, are you going to die, I don't want you to go to prison just like Daddy?" Ping said when she went up and hugged me tightly.

Sophea was gone and apparently she went out to gather food during the night in replacement of me. I went and got to my bed where I lied there and closed my eyes trying to forget what happened today. I quickly went to sleep and the day ended.

Soldiers

January 7th 1979, three years passed since the incident between Dad and the soldiers. In the months before, Mom, Sakol, and Sophea were creating a plan to head out to Thailand to seek refuge and to come back and bring us to Thailand along with them once they arrive. This was a dangerous plan because if they were caught along the way, they would end up getting killed if they were ever seen by any of the soldiers. It was illegal to escape the country and many people who had tried were never heard from again. However, this was the only chance we had if we wanted to survive and get out of Cambodia, so my mom, Sakol, and Sophea were the ones who will go to Thailand. Today was the day that they plan to head out, considering the fact that the leaders of this society has millions of people to keep track of, it would take a couple of days before they start looking for Mom, Sakol, and Sophea. We decided that Ping, Lynn, and I would stay because both Ping and I are not as strong as them and will probably not be able to walk the far distance to Thailand. It was said that the path to Thailand consisted of a 300-500 kilometer walk, and along this way was filled with guards, ferocious animals, minefields, and thousands of scatter bones and corpses. It was probably the best decision that Lynn, Ping, and I should stay in order to avoid being a disturbance on their journey.

It was 2:00 in the morning and they were going to head out. Mom came up to me and whispered in my ear, "We will come back and pick you up with a helicopter at this exact place. Promise me to not leave this place, and always keep looking up, in a month or two we will arrive and come back, okay Seang? I love you, and remember to take care of your sisters while we are gone." She then hugged me tightly and I could feel the warmth of her skin.

I smiled and I said back to her, "I promise, we'll be ready when you come, I love you too Mom." Tears followed through my eyes as I then hugged Sakol and Sophea wishing the best of luck on their journey. They are going to become back, they have to come back, and it was a promise made by Mom I thought to myself. The three then opened the door and I saw that outside was dark and I could hear the birds chirping and the wind blowing. The moon was still at the highest point and the weather was cool. I watched as my mom walked out into the forest and away from my vision. "They are going to come back right Lynn? They have to come back."

"Just trust in them Seang. I trust in them, they will come back no doubt; we are going to be saving in the upcoming months. Be happier!" She told me as she comforted me in one of her arms and holding Ping with her other arm.

"I hope you're right." Ping said quietly as I could see the tears rolling down her face. "I hope you're right Lynn."

Two weeks later I woke up to the sound of a loud banging on the door. I looked outside our window and saw the moon was still up. I wonder what it could be since it was still late at night and the work starts later in the day. I saw as Ping and Lynn were still sleeping so I went to wake them up before going to the door. When they woke up they were still their bed and I went to the door to open. The banging continued and the noise grew larger as I moved closer towards the door. When I opened the door I heard shouting of an unknown language. I was sure that it wasn't Khmer and I had never heard it before in my life. I looked at the man standing at the door and it was another soldier, but this time he was dressed different. I quickly took a few steps backwards as I saw in his hand was a gun.

The man looked at me and started moving his hand signaling for me to come over to him, I looked at Ping and Lynn and then called them over here. They rushed from their bed and we all went and followed him. We didn't want to disobey him in case he would shoot us and kill us for not doing what he says. I heard gun noises in the distant area and people screaming. There sounds of guns, tanks, explosions, and a large gunfight was going on. I tried looking through the dark night and I realized there were cars in the front filled with other people living around here. I looked to the left and to the right noticing the great amounts of soldiers wearing the same uniform of dark green. I then noticed that each uniform had a small symbol, this was a red rectangle with a yellow star in the middle. It resembled a flag and I then figured out that they were trying to help us. They were different than the soldier in Cambodia and had come from a different country. They were here to save us from this place, as soon as I understood what was happened a big smile came across my face. I looked over to Ping and Lynn who was still half awake, but Lynn was also smiling. The first time Lynn had ever smiled ever since we came here, she knew also that we were getting saved by these unknown soldiers. We were brought to a truck where we were greeted by a man speaking Khmer.

"Hello, we are the People's Army of Vietnam and we are here to help. We have driven back the Khmer Rouge forces and have provided a new shelter and food for you. We have many soldiers surrounding this area and have secured this area; it is now safe to live here for the time being. Please come over here and receive some food and a new pair of clothes. Soon we will go to a new shelter so be prepared. Thank you!" The man spoke to us as I could smell the food all the way from the truck. I looked around as I saw other Cambodians sitting in the truck eating a meal, the first in over four years. I could see the smiles from everyone as they all knew they will live for another day; they have gotten out from hell. Lynn, Ping, and I all went to get the food and a new pair of clothes. The food was rice and chicken with unlimited water, it was the very first time we had eaten this much meat and rice ever since the start of the Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia and brought us here. After finishing our meal we were still tired as we didn't get enough sleep. We were brought once again to the back of the truck where we would then go into a new shelter. We rode on the back of the truck and along the way we all slept with new clothes and a full belly.

This was the first time I could ever close my eyes with confidence and away from fear knowing that we were being protected and we were going to a place of safety.

The truck ride took hours until the sun rose and I looked at Ping and Lynn and saw how happy and relaxed they were. They could finally take a break and could enjoy their lives peacefully. When we arrived we saw that we were brought to a shelter, a refugee camp and saw other Cambodians who looked just as tired as we were. A soldier then told us to come down from the truck and brought us to our new home. In this new home clean bed, but it was mostly just a tent. Outside the tent was a bathroom stall in which it consisted of a shower and a toilet. It has been a while since I had ever used an actual shower or a toilet since we were used to going to the bathroom in the forest or outside in the open. The bed was a fresh change where there were actual pillows and sheets to sleep with. I opened my eyes and smiled as I fell down to the soft bed while Lynn and Ping also went to their own separate beds. We all then went back to sleep and relaxed for the first time.

Waking up hours later, remembered that my mom made a promise with two weeks ago about how she will meet us in the exact same place to pick us up, I wanted to keep the promise, I needed to go back and wait for her. I couldn't believe that if she just stayed for two more weeks, she could have been saved just like us, but I wasn't giving up hope yet, I knew that my mother, Sakol, and Sophea will come pick us up in the helicopter. I just wanted to believe, so I made the decision to go back to the house that was hours away. I went outside of my tent and saw soldiers walking around and Cambodians getting treatment as some had many injuries. Other Cambodians were getting medication and most of them just rested and enjoyed a good meal. After, I went over to Lynn and Ping's tent and to my surprise, they already were up and was just looking out in the distance admiring the place they were sleeping in.

I told that about the promise that Mom made and they agreed along with me to go back and wait for her at the same spot. Considering that the Khmer Rouge soldiers had already left due to the Vietnam soldiers, it was probably safe to go. Altogether we went and packed up our things once again and headed out of the camp. When I was packing I kept thinking, am I ever going to regret coming back to hell, are they really coming back to get us. The thought just faded from our mind and we headed out of the refugee camp.

Flight

When we headed out of camp, the sun was rising up to the clouds. I could feel the heat touching upon my shoulders as I saw Ping and Lynn looking as healthy as we ever were. I had a smile across my face and looked out on to the horizon. Out there was just a path, the dirt road to our family. Even though we had to go through many different treacherous obstacles we could never forget the event that we had been experiencing for over four years. I thought back to Dad, and how loving, caring, and kind he was to all of us, to everyone. I closed my eyes shut for a few second holding back the tears, I had a small laugh to myself as I looked up to the sky and saw as the clouds formed his face. I could clearly see my dad up there in the sky, watching over us, proud that we had survived the pain, the sorrow. We continued walking for several hours as the refugee camp was not close to where we stayed previously. I looked over to Ping as she also looked happy for the first time in a long, long time. I brought out my short arms and placed it over her shoulders and said in a calming voice "We did it, it's over, I can't believe we made it, we're alive."

"Yeah, I can't either Seang, I thought we were going to die, now we are alive and healthy, we all are going to be together soon." She responded as she took a deep breath and water started to form around her eyelid.

"Hey, don't cry Ping, we're fine, we are going to meet Mom, Sakol, and Sophea soon. They'll come and get us, don't you worry about that. Isn't that right Seang, everyone's going to be okay, you got that?" Lynn spoke with certainty in her voice.

I hoped what Lynn said was true, I'm going to believe her, after all she is my older sister, and older people know what's wrong and what's right. If Lynn thinks we are all going to be fine, then I think we are all going to be together as a family once again with smiles instead of pain.

Hours passed ever since we started our journey, and we were all starting to get tired, but most importantly hungry. I opened that bag that I had prepared just before going back, and it was filled with fresh fruit from the refugee camp. Lynn had carried the clothes, while Ping had nothing to carry as we didn't want Ping to carry heavy things over the long walk or else it would tire her out. I took out the three bright colored oranges that had a sweet fragrant. I handed each of us one orange to eat and we all sat down next to an old lifeless tree. I took out my orange and started to peel the skin off with my fingernails as Lynn had to peel both her orange and Ping's orange as she still didn't know how to do it herself. I took one bite of the orange, and I could feel as my hunger was going away and I could now continue walking a longer distance. I looked at Ping and Lynn as the orange had the same effect on them with Ping becoming more energetic and looked as if she had just woken up from a good night's rest. After taking a short break from eating the fruit, we got up once again and continued walking.

The time was around the afternoon as the sun was still up at its highest peak. I wondered to myself how there was no one else walking around, and we couldn't hear any fighting, gunshots, cars, or other people. It was just us three walking together on one dirt road back where we had stayed. "Do you think any more of the Khmer Rouge will be there, do you think anyone is going to be there or did they all flee and leave to the refugee camps?" I asked Lynn.

"I don't think you should worry about that, I'm sure that there will be kids there and the Vietnamese soldier told us that there was no Khmer Rouge soldiers anymore. Besides the Khmer Rouge is probably too scared to fight now that the Vietnamese soldiers are guarding this place." Lynn responded. Lynn always had that personality which made it seem that everything was going to be fine. She always made me think the future will be better than the past and that I should have no worries. I love that about her, she is an amazing sister whom I glad to have by my side.

The wind was blowing hard and my back was starting to ache due to the amount of weight that I had to carry for the food. When Lynn questioned me to sit down and take a few minutes to rest, I just responded with a simple "we have to continue" and we always start walking again without stop.

The sun started to go down as we realized we had been walking for over 12 hours on the same road. "How much longer until we get there Lynn?" Ping asked with an annoying tone.

"Not much longer actually, we are almost there, you see that hill across that tree, after that we are back at our house. Just a few more kilometers to go, come on and hurry up." She responded with another phrase which made Ping and me happier to understand that we were going to arrive at our destination. Another hour passed and the sun had finally gone down, we were at the hill which she told us would be where our house was, and looking forward, I saw how steep the hill was and had hope that after this, Mom will come pick us up. I climbed up the hill with Ping just right behind me, and we got to the top. Up there, I saw the view of Cambodia, looking all around I could see everything; the hills, the trees, the buildings, the fields, and most importantly our house that we had stayed for. However for a moment, I wasn't smiling, I frowned, as I realized this was the place of hard labor and sorrow that everyone in my family had to go through. This was the place where they took my dad to prison and I never knew what happened to him; he most likely was killed during torture. I clenched my fist as I looked down to the ground and took a long sigh. I had to let the past go, I had to understand that nothing would be better if I felt sad my entire life. I knew that Dad wouldn't want me to be crying, he wanted me to smile throughout my life. "We're there, let's go to our house." I said to both Lynn and Ping who were behind me.

They followed as we finally entered our home back in the fields after a day or two. "Well, we are supposed to wait for Mom, Sakol, and Sophea near that large tree over there, so we can see the tree from here. It's already dark so we should just get some sleep; I doubt they will come at night." Lynn told us.

"Lynn, when do think they will come, when are they picking us up?" I asked her wanting a clear response.

"Probably in a week or two at max, I don't think they'll wait that long, don't worry, you can wait for them starting tomorrow morning. Ping could rest in the house while I get food and water for the day, wouldn't that be nice?" Lynn responded.

"Yeah, that sounds nice, but it isn't too much work for you to do, I mean you have to get water and food, I could help out if you want."

"No it's okay, you go to that tree over there and wait for Mom and her helicopter."

I smiled at the thought of finally being reunited with Mom once again; it already had been two weeks or more ever since she left, so I expected her to come soon. I quickly went to sleep after my legs wore out from the long journey that we had just been through.

The next morning I woke up to the sight of both Lynn and Ping still fast asleep on their bed. I quickly got dressed with the spare clothes that Lynn had carried back from the refugee camp and went to the tree. This tree was old brown, but had colorful green leaves growing through the branches. I sat under the tree on the grassy ground as the leaves blocked the heat of the sun. Under the tree, there were grass and a cool area to sit under as the sun could not heat up this part of the ground. I lied there on the floor and stared up into the cloudy sky. I looked up from the morning to the night, only have a few breaks to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Most of my time was just spent looking up and out to the horizon where I waited for the sound of the roaring helicopter and the sight of Mom, Sakol, or even Sophea in the blue sky.

This happened for weeks, much longer than the anticipated two weeks where we thought Mom would come and pick us up by then. One month had already passed since the Khmer Rouge left and we had arrived back here from our walk. This day was different, when I woke up this day; I went out to the tree and lied there once again. I still had a sliver of hope left in me that Mom would come. To my surprise, when the sun was up and three hours into waiting, I heard loud sound from the distance. I immediately got up from my back and onto my feet and looked out. I could see something blurry in the sky moving towards us at a great speed.

It was a helicopter, a helicopter, it was Mom, she had finally came back to pick us up. I looked closely as tears started to flow down, the object was coming more into view when I fell to my knees.

It was only a cloud, a white cloud drifting across the sky. It was my imagination and the hope that I had been holding on to deep within my heart had disappeared along with that one cloud.

Epilogue

Months passed since the end of the Khmer Rouge, Seang, Lynn, and Ping were the only survivors of his family. Nothing has been known of what happened to his mom, Sakol, or Sophea as they most likely were caught at that time and killed. Seang, Lynn, and Ping all had to stay together and the first thing they had to do was to continue with education. The only way for them to live now was to find and meet their aunts and uncles in Battambang, another province in Cambodia, who were surprisingly still alive. Once staying in Battambang for a few years until Seang got back in track with education in the schools in Battambang, he received many different scholarships to other schools outside of Cambodia. This resulted in him leaving his family for another decade to continue with education in a foreign country due to his knowledge and skills in learning. Throughout this time Lynn and Sophea continued to stay in Cambodia with their aunts and uncles while also getting an education. After many years, Lynn and Ping moved to Thailand and grew much older. They were able to make income and their own money through various jobs in Thailand. During these times, Cambodia had to rebuilt itself from the destruction of the Khmer Rouge. It took many years, and during the 1980s to now, there are many tribunals that are being held for the criminals of the Khmer Rouge. In 1998 Pol Pot was claimed died and the Civil War of Cambodia was finished, and by 1999 the Khmer Rouge had officially ended. From the 2000s to now, Cambodia is becoming more technologically advanced and is rebuilding the structure and foundation ever since the 1975-1979 genocide.

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank my dad for helping me create this book, as it if weren't for his motivation to finish, I would have never been able to complete the entire product. This story was inspired by my dad's life during the Khmer Rouge and it helps shows the many dangers and hardships people's lives were during the Khmer Rouge.

Other people that have helped me create this book was all the interviews I had conducted in order to get my research to write my book. This includes the people at the International School of Phnom Penh or ISPP, as the both the teachers and students had helped me keep in track with my work throughout the many months that I used in order to create the book.

This book was written for the sole purpose for my personal project that is needed for the Middle Years Program at International Schools or otherwise known as the MYP . The book was the product in which I believe should be able to help educate people about the Khmer Rouge, through the historical fiction genre.

