>> JIMMY: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A 
VERY FUNNY MAN.
HIS FIRST SPECIAL PREMIERES THIS
FALL ON COMEDY CENTRAL.
PLEASE WELCOME 
CASEY JAMES SALENGO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> HOW ARE YOU DOING, LOS 
ANGELES?
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE THE HEAR.
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL CITY YOU 
HAVE HERE.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF DUL, 
DIRTY WHITE TRASH.
JUST DISGUSTING, PEOPLE CRAWLING
THEIR WAY OUT OF A TREE.
WHEN PEOPLE HEAR I'M WHITE 
TRASH, THEY ASSUME I GREW UP IN 
A TRAILER.
THAT SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL.
I LIVED IN AN RV.
I WOULD GO TO MY FRIENDS' HOUSES
WITH TRAILERS LIKE, WELL 
LA-DI-DA.
DIDN'T KNOW I WAS FRIENDS WITH 
THE QUEEN OF FRANCE.
WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS?
THAT'S A DOOR.
OH THEY PUT DOORS INSIDE NOW?
YOU GOT A MULTIPLE DOOR 
HOUSEHOLD?
TOO GOOD FOR VINYL ROOM 
DIVIDERS?
IN A TRAILER YOU CAN HEAR YOUR 
PARENTS HAVING SEX, IN AN RV YOU
CAN FEEL THEIR HEARTBEATS.
I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER, FOLKS.
I'M SORRY.
I LIVE IN NEW YORK CITY NOW.
IT'S GREAT.
BUILDINGS AND STUFF.
IT'S MUCH DIFFERENT.
IT'S VERY LIBERAL.
I HAD MY FIRST HETEROPHOBIC 
MOMENT RECENTLY.
I WALKED UP TO THIS BUILDING, 
AND A MAN AND WOMAN WERE MAKING 
OUT REAL HARD.
GETTING AFTER IT.
GRINDING FACE.
IN MY MIGHT BE I WAS LIKE, WHAT 
THE HELL?
YOU GOTTA DO THIS IN THE MIDDLE 
OF THE DAY?
THERE'S KIDS AROUND, GET INSIDE!
THEN I GOT CLOSER, AND SAW IT 
WASN'T A MAN AND WOMAN, IT WAS A
MAN AND ANOTHER MAN WITH LONG 
HAIR, AND IMMEDIATELY WAS LIKE, 
OH THAT'S GREAT! 
YEAH!
YEAH, BOYS!
COME ON, KIDS, COME BACK.
HEY, COME HERE.
THAT'S WHAT WE CALL PROGRESS.
I'M TRYING TO DATE IN THE CITY 
NOW.
IT'S HARD IN NEW YORK CITY, 
LADIES, VERY SPOOKY.
VERY SCARY.
I'VE BEEN ON THE APPS.
YOU GUYS KNOW BUMBLE?
THAT'S THE ONE WHERE THE GIRLS 
TALK TO YOU FIRST, ALLEGEDLY.
I'VE YET TO UNLOCK THAT FEATURE.
MUST HAVE TO UPGRADE MY PHONE OR
SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.
IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOU GET ON THE 
APPS.
YOU CAN TELL HOW LONG THESE 
GIRLS HAVE BEEN ON THESE APPS BY
HOW MEAN AND SPECIFIC THEIR BIO 
IS.
A GIRL WHO JUST GOT ON THERE 
LIKE I'M FROM CALIFORNIA.
I LIKE HORSES.
A GIRL WHO'S BEEN ON THERE A 
WHILE WILL BE LIKE, NO WEIRDOS, 
NO CREEPS, NO MAMAS BOYS!
NO ZOOKEEPERS, NO MENNONITES!
NO LIBRAS, NO KEVIN'S!
WE'LL GO FOR ONE DRINK, YOU 
DON'T LOOK AT ME, AND MY FRIEND 
CHERYL IS COMING!
SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL 
AROUND!
I'M A BIT OF A PARTIER.
I LIKE SMOKING A DOOB HERE AND 
THERE TOO.
YOU'RE HIGH, I CAN SEE IT.
I REALIZED RECENTLY I LIKE 
SMOKING ALONE MORE.
WHEN I SMOKE WITH FRIENDS 
EVERYONE IS LIKE YEAH, COOL, 
ALRIGHT.
I'M MORE LIKE, HELLO?
IS THERE SOMEBODY THERE?
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE 
THERE.
THAT'S ENTRAPMENT.
I GET PARENT PARANOID.
IT MAKES ME SO PARANOID I CAN'T 
BE AROUND PEOPLE WEARING 
WINDBREAKERS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS 
LIKE THEY'RE WHISPERING SECRETS.
THEY'RE LIKE, SHHH!
[ WHISPERING ]
SAY IT TO MY FACE!
IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE.
I'M CASEY JAMES SALENGO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 
