

### What Readers are saying about The All Series...

#

# "Let me just say I am NOT a fan of prequels. But I was hooked on this story and decided to purchase. So glad I did. I fell in love with Angel and Blues story. For once a prequel actually did not feel like an after thought. This definitely could be a stand alone but combined with the other books makes me love Sam even more. She is one kick butt chick. If you enjoy the writings of Karina Halle I think you will really enjoy Marie Wathen. Can't wait for her next installment." ~Jane hunt

"*Marie Wathen newest book in this wonderful series is Superb*" ~ Daphne Masengale

"Wathen successfully wrote a story with some of the greatest elements...action, romance, intrigue and the perfect amount of hotness (can you say Blues)! I immediately related to our protagonist, Samantha. I love a strong, independent female lead and Sam does not disappoint. She is a multi-layered character though...all the more human and relatable. While the book is lengthy, it does not take long to get through it as it is fast-paced! Wathen is one talented lady, and I can't wait to read the next one from her!" Shawn Verdin (Dauntless Indies Blog)

### BOOKS BY MARIE WATHEN

BE ALL

ALL IS LOST

ALL THIS TIME

WORTH IT ALL

NOVEL GROUNDS ANTHOLOGY, ALL OUR LOVE: NO DETAILS

# all this time

## An All series novel

## By

## Marie Wathen
ALL THIS TIME

By Marie Wathen

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2014 Marie Wathen

All Rights Reserved

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the owner. Excerpts for reviews–only when stated as such and quoted–are an exception.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Resemblance to actual person, living or dead, events or locales, are entirely coincidental.

Editor: Toby Joiner

Published by Marie Wathen PO BOX 239 Vincent, AL 35178

Cover Art Design & Formatting: Covert It! Designs

Photographer: Michael Brown Projects Photography

Model: Joshua Sean McCann

Additional Photos: Dreamstime

This story is approximately 126,000 words

**WARNING: This story contains explicit language and erotic scenes, M/F and is intended for adults, 18+ only.
Table of Contents

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Five

Chapter Fifty-Six

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Chapter Sixty

Chapter Sixty-One

Chapter Sixty-Two

Chapter Sixty-Three

Chapter Sixty-Four

Chapter Sixty-Five

Chapter Sixty-Six

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Chapter Seventy
Chapter Seventy-One
Chapter Seventy-Two

Chapter Seventy-Three

Epilogue

Excerpt of Be All

About the Author

Acknowledgements

### Dedication

To my very first and best friend, Barbara Summers Gonzalez,

I adore you and I'm so blessed to have you in my life. I can't name all the things about you that I am grateful for because I already wrote a book and have met my word limit, but I can say that not one day has gone by that I haven't thanked the big guy above for bringing you to me. I dedicate this book to you my friend because the subject matter for which I write truly affects your life in more ways than any one person should have to endure. There will come a day when all the answers to life's hardest questions will be given and I hope you're first in line to hear them. Heartache and pain isn't something we seek out in life, but it can make us better. Yes, I know you're rolling your eyes at the last sentence, but if you aren't a testament to that being the truth then I don't know who is. You're daughters are amazing, beautiful, talented, and loving women because you set the example for them. I'm so sorry that your Chelsea wasn't fortune enough to find an Angel on this earth before it was too late. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of Ari with the world. I love and miss her each and every day too.

Quote taken from the Facebook page of Ariane Chelsea Gonzalez and used in this story: "Waiting on an angel because I don't want to go alone." You will never be alone again, Ari-doodle. ~ Marie
**Prologu** **e**

Thirteen months ago...

I say goodbye.

Turning around, I walk away from a future with the man I love. I fade away into an angry mob yelling for justice and forcibly guiding me toward the perimeter of the hospital property. These people are hungry for someone to crucify. My heart breaks with the crush of reality and everything I've experienced in the last forty-eight hours. Somehow managing to bury my internal meltdown, I steal one last glance over my shoulder. The news crews flash their camera lens toward the front steps of the now empty emergency room. Canton City Chief of Police Jackson Summers and his new sergeant gather for an impromptu press conference. Echoing shouts of the chief's name by the reporters, demanding his attention, are the only sounds I hear as I reach my car. A melancholy smile slowly spreads across my lips as I slip behind the steering wheel. I punch the gas pedal, heading west and within two hours I cross over the Alabama state line. After six more hours of driving south, I'm on a ferry crossing the Gulf of Mexico, heading back to my family home on Willow Island.

I truly believe in fate, destiny and all the other descriptors that determine ones future. I even buy into the whole superstition of taking a bite from a fortune cookie before reading the tiny piece of wisdom tucked inside. The difference between those little scraps of hope and destiny is sometimes fate doesn't hold up its end of the bargain and deliver everyone a fairytale ending. That is exactly what happened to me. I got a heavy dose of cruel happenstance. Destiny's design has a hand in every detail that brings me back to Willow Island today. The course of events that leads me back are just as hopeful and tragic as I have learned to expect from this unpredictable journey we call life.

After growing up in England most of my life, I thought I had a flawless plan laid out for my final destination–return back to the states to attend college, a fabulous career, maybe one day a husband, and oh good lord if I can bear the thought of children. Fortunately for me, I accomplished the first couple early on, but after the current events and a new job offer that I accepted a few hours ago, I adjust my travel plans and purpose, focusing on a course due south.

Willow is where I was born, but I never expected to return for any reasons other than holidays or family gatherings. After graduating high school I accepted an academic scholarship at Jacksonville State University, in Alabama. Their criminal justice program is top notch and being able to attend without depending on my parents to fund it urged me to accept.

JSU isn't a mega-size campus like the other more popular, in-state schools, the University of Alabama or Auburn University, but after a campus tour I fell in love with everything about it and the quaint town in which it resides. It reminds me a lot of Willow, which is exactly what I needed. In the sweet little town everything is close and convenient to the campus and the southern U.S. college isn't a stuffy old pretentious university like those back in England.

I grew up with two younger brothers, twin brothers actually. Marcus and Morgan are two of my favorite people in this world and we are close. Well, I'm close with them. They are currently suffering through a separation brought on by some skank bitch, which Marcus dated, but Morgan ended up having an affair with.

A floozy like the one they are fighting over is exactly the type of conniving woman that proves my beliefs in only having men as friends. Women are catty bitches and I never wanted that jealousy shit in my life. Until college, I didn't even have sleepovers with friends from high school. Unfortunately, campus life dictates communal living and the fact that I was attending on an academic scholarship I begrudgingly accepted my fate and a girl roommate.

Sharing space and a few classes together, Kristie Daniels and I got to know each other on a very personal level. With Kris' friendship, it didn't take long for me to stop generalizing all women into the category of sister haters.

I earned my four year degree in two years because I took summer, online, and every mini course that the school offered. I wasn't trying to get away exactly. I just wanted to move on to the next phase of my life. Starting when I was a little girl, becoming a police officer was my life's dream. I remember sitting on my Gran's lap watching her favorite television show and there was a woman police officer on who was a total bad ass. She did this swinging leg, high-kick move disabling a bad guy and saving some people during a bank robbery. I was in complete awe of her skills and instantly inspired to help others. Plus, Gran told me that I could do _anything_ that I wanted.

My family owns a private business which my grandfather Mac Walker has guided to the top of Forbes Fortune Five Hundred. Granddad set up positions for his sons, my father Barret Walker, and my uncle Beck Walker, after he provided them with the means to earn their graduate's degree from Stanford. He has thoughts of grandeur and hopes of a distinguished legacy which includes his grandchildren following the same path.

Being the natural born rebel, I opted out of Granddad's offer and chose a career in law enforcement instead. Looking back now, I realize I was always at a crossroads, but I never even thought about the intersection.

My grandparents offered to pay for my higher education, but I knew better than to allow it. Not that they would ever hold it over my head. Hell, they are the most loving and giving people I have ever known and they always support my dreams. No, if I had accepted Granddad's offer it would have been my father who would see it as a slap in the face. According to him, I turned my back on the family when I passed on coming aboard.

Honestly, I don't really believe that my father wanted me following in the family business. After moving our family to England when I was a child, he would spend time with my brothers drilling the ins and outs of Walker Corporation, but he never once asked me to join them. At the tender age of twelve Morgan was working on project ideas that could rival some of dad's senior staff members. He is a true chip off the old block, in more ways than one. Marcus did not share in Morgan's enthusiasm and is following me into law enforcement. Oh, I'm jumping too far ahead now. Let's back up just a little.

After graduating from JSU with honors and subsequently the police academy, I was offered a coveted position on the Atlanta Police Departments Drug Task Force Unit. Because I look much younger than my chronological age, I was easily immersed into the drug scene and accepted as just another addict. At that point, my sweet grandparents insisted on providing a safe place for me to live locked behind the secured walls inside a gated community. Being a newly graduated student and too proud to ask my parents for access to my trust fund, I certainly couldn't afford a place on my own until after I started earning a salary. Needless to say my grandparents refused to accept any compensation so I sullenly accepted their generous offer and moved into a lavish country home in Canton Georgia, a charming little city north of Atlanta.

Coincidentally, my best friend Kris was from the area so she moved in with me. Kris received her nursing degree from JSU and worked for a small family practitioner in town, but all along she had aspirations of landing her dream job at Canton General Children's Hospital. Her desire to help others inspires me daily. Although we are as different as night and day, Kris is my soul sister and ours is a friendship that transcends eternity.

Since becoming friends with her, my good opinion of this shitty world greatly increased. She sees everything through rose-colored glasses and finds only the good in everyone. Kris tried to mesh some of her idealist ways into my realist heart. She failed. There isn't a romantic bone in my body and I do not have time in my life for love. That is until my eyes landed on the deep haunting essence of Blues for the first time. All I know is those amazing sapphire tinted eyes look like coming home and destiny is proving her worth as a cruel manipulator by making my soul mate the one person I could never have.

My name is Samantha Walker, and this is my serendipitous story.
Chapter One

December

"Hey Kris, if I give you an extra two hundred dollars towards the utilities will you do all of the housework while I'm gone?" Leaning across the kitchen table I attempt to make eye contact with my best friend who is doing her best to ignore me. Hooking my foot under the chair next to me, I tip it backward slightly finally gaining her attention. Her eyebrows pinch down in annoyance and I flash my pearly whites in return. I'm annoying as hell, but she loves me.

"Uh no, Sherri's still on vacation so I'm working overtime and then I'm going to my parents this weekend to ring in the New Year. You'll just have to do your part when you're home, Princess." Kris hovers over a stack of bills that she has been fussing over for the past hour. Eyes glued on her task she smirks. "Besides, I thought you preferred dirty clothes for work."

I feign disgust. "Eeewww, gross! I don't wear dirty clothes. I wear grungy clothes. There's a _major_ difference in the two." She bobs her head, but continues focusing on the paperwork diligently.

"If you say so, but I don't see the difference." She grabs up her hair pulling it all into a loose bun. Kris is a cute blonde with striking green eyes. Just a couple of inches over five feet, she's much more petite than my five foot eight inches. Plus, my ridiculously large boobs are nearly twice her size so we rarely swap clothes. She lowers her voice and her eyes fill with seriousness. "Sam, I don't know how I feel about you starting this new job while I'm away. How about I talk to Russ and see if he'll postpone it until after the holiday?"

Sergeant Russell Daniels is my direct supervisor in the drug task force and Kris' older brother. _A coincidence_? _I think not._

"Can't do it honey, this one is a deep cover job. There may be days or weeks I won't be able to call and it could be months before I can come home. Even then it will only be for a quick visit."

Huffing, she gives me her sad puppy dog eyes. "God, I hate when you take on those. I swear one day I'm going to get an ulcer from your damn job." She stresses over the gravity of my job and that stresses me.

"I know you hate it, but you don't have to worry. Russ is going in with me this time. He's actually been on the inside of this drug ring for over a year and I'm coming in as his new babe." I grimace at the thought and add, "Can I just say, being your brother's girlfriend, even just pretending, gives me the heebie jeebies. I love him like my own brother and he is gorgeous, but the thought of kissing him for show is going to be like pulling my own toenails out by hand."

At this visual, either me kissing her brother or me snatching out my hot pink painted toenails, she busts into a full belly laugh. Of course her laugh is super cute and extremely contagious so I join in.

"I am going to have to do some serious acting." My eyes bug out pinning her with a look of fear a moment before I erupt into giggles again. Her laughter is so out of control that she's gasping for air. _Damn, I love this girl._

"My brother is absolutely going to kiss you in front of people on purpose. You know he's had a crush on you since the first time you came home with me back in college." She pauses, all laughter sucked out of the room. "Is it unethical or against some kind of nepotism policy for you to take on roles like this with someone you know so intimately?"

I roll my eyes and clarify our department policy. "He's not really _my_ brother and we aren't dating. There's no policy against friends working together, silly girl."

"Whatever. Just don't blame me when you have to break out the hose and spray him down with a blast of cold water like a dog in heat, just to keep him off of you." She laughs, but something tells me that she's totally serious about her brother's feelings for me being more than those of work associates or good friends.

"Oh jeez Kris, we are professionals. Russ would never take advantage of the situation like that." I believe my words.

Grunting out her disagreement, she returns to working out a budget for the neglected bills and I think seriously about what she just said. Russ is my boss and he really is like a big brother so I don't know why she thinks he would allow that bullshit.

_He wouldn't,_ I reassure myself again.

I leave Kris pinching pennies and bitching about needing more overtime to pay for the hefty bills that our massive house accrues. Stuffing the last of my grunge attire into my suitcase, I send a text to Russ and let him know that I'm ready whenever he is to get the party started. His quick reply is short with just one digit letting me know he will be here at seven in the morning. Checking the time, I decide a quick shower and crashing for six hours will clear my mind of Kris' concerns so that I am ready for my new role as Russ' girlfriend. A shiver runs down my spine just thinking about him kissing me. Talk about awkward. Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be the toughest job I've ever done?

Twenty minutes before seven my phone vibrates. Only a small number of friends and family have my personal cell phone number. I don't even give out my real number to guys. Dating isn't a priority in my life. There have been a few men who have caught my attention, but I'm so focused on my job that their needs are way down on the list of my priorities.

I groan and roll over to see what fool would be sending a message this early. A freaking winky face beside Russ' picture tells me that he is waiting outside for me. Protocol for this kind of job dictates that he doesn't have contact with family so coming inside is off limits. I chunk my iPhone into the bottom of my suitcase and shove my prepaid work cell into my backpack. I throw my long, dark brown hair into a scrunchy and pile it on top of my head. Needing to look disheveled, I intentionally haven't washed it in two days. My work attire is trashy and revealing. I laugh thinking about how my pretentious mother would freak out if she ever caught me dressed this way.

Tossing my backpack over one shoulder, I lug my suitcase down the porch steps. Approaching Russ' GTO, I notice his lopsided grin before I stow the suitcase in the back. When I get in the car he leans in with lips puckered and I actually flinch away.

"What the hell Russ?" I snap at his attempt to kiss me.

"Ah, ah, ah, my name is _Rad_. You're on the clock now so you are officially my girlfriend. And any good girlfriend would give her man a kiss when she sees him." I tilt my head to the side giving him an appalled glare.

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she's happy to see him," he says matter-of-factly through a goofy smile, those damn lips pressed together and eyes closed waiting for me to follow through with his challenge.

Kris' taunting from last night punches me in the throat and I swallow back the flaming bile. I glance back at the house, wondering if Kris is awake and if she can see us. Noticing that all the curtains are closed, I lean in really close to Russ and just before pressing my lips to his I punch him in the gut...hard.

Grunting and clutching his right side, he groans, "That is not nice Angel."

"Whatever! Don't play that shit with me again Ru–Rad." Crossing my arms over my chest, I quickly use the correct name and threaten, "Any future unnecessary kissing or groping, for that matter, will get you more of the same treatment. Now, where are we going so damn early?"

Still rubbing his stomach, he chuckles, starts the car and then backs out of the driveway. Today's plan is to integrate me into his life by having me seen at his house and in his car. Hopefully enough eyes will notice us together and spread the word back to Russ' group. That way when I make my appearance tomorrow night it won't raise too many suspicions. After dropping my stuff off at his house we drive down to the local Kroger's and fill up the grocery cart with tons of crap junk food–all for show of course because druggies don't eat properly when they do actually shop–but I sneak in an assortment of fresh veggies and a couple of packs of chicken. For the most part, I eat clean and the shit Russ is buying definitely is not part of a healthy lifestyle.

Returning back to Russ' house we quickly unload his brown bags and on the last return to the car a slow moving vehicle creeps by with a couple of guys staring a hole through me. I flash my brilliant smile–aligned immaculately by wearing braces for two years–and the two guys give me a lifted chin signaling that they acknowledge me, but their stoic expressions don't change in the least bit. Back inside I let Russ know that my presence has been duly noted by his friends.

"That's it then. You, _Angel_ are officially mine."

"Angel?"

"Yeah, that's the best nickname I could come up with. Sending you in there with the fake name that the Captain provided just don't work for me." Grinning, he shakes his head as he thrusts an envelope at me.

"What's this?"

His smile grows before saying, " _That_ is you."

I rip through the tape and unfold the paperwork. At the top of the fake document I read the name and glance back at Russ with the most disgusted look I can muster. Not that it would really take much effort after reading that my name is now something that I would slap the shit out of my mother for if she was this cruel. With Haleigh Walker as my mother, that's saying a lot. She's a far stretch from mother of the year.

"Fucking douche," I growl in complete disgust and slam the paperwork down onto the countertop.

"It's okay. I won't let anyone make fun of you–Huldah Johnson." He barks out laughter so obnoxious that for a brief moment I consider treating him as if he was the one who picked out the damn name.
Chapter Two

Pulling my three day, unwashed hair into a loose braid, I randomly tug a few strands out so that it gives me a messy look. I glop on the eyeliner in a thick line, cake on the black eye shadow and then follow up it with a hooker-red lipstick. I immediately smear it, rubbing off some so it matches the dark and dirty look I'm going for. My knotted blue tank top hits right under my boobs, displaying profound cleavage. The denim shorts I picked up at the local thrift store last week already came appropriately stained and torn. That makes me really happy. I loathe destroying totally good clothing just for shits and giggles. I finish off my look with some shredded fishnet stockings, a leather cuff and short black boots with spikes. _Look out, Atlanta drug scene, here I come_.

I make my appearance in Russ' kitchen, catching him shoveling a pile of nachos into his mouth. A stupid grin breaks across his gorgeous face and I toss a napkin at it before food falls out.

"Damn babe, you look _hot_ ," he blurts, emphasizing his appreciation by roaming his eyes over my body repeatedly.

I cross my arms over my chest and stab him with a fierce glare. "Dammit Russ, are you going to be like this the whole time?"

"Like what Sam?" Straight-faced, he holds his arms stretched out to his side, palms up and his eyebrows sink down.

"The comments, the devouring looks and the drooling," I point at his chin.

He lazily swipes the back of his hand across his mouth while his greedy eyes blink rapidly, still drinking in the sight of me.

_What the hell_?

"Sorry," he mumbles through a stupid grin while shrugging one shoulder. Clearly his heart isn't in that apology because he continues staring at me like he wants to do bad things to me.

"I swear to all that is holy, if you keep this shit up they are not going to believe that we are a couple after I beat the living hell out of you."

Pissed off, I stomp out of the kitchen feeling hostile toward Russ' true thoughts exposed through his unusual behavior. How the hell am I supposed to pull the job off with him creeping me out the whole damn time?

After sitting in the car alone for about ten minutes, I get my shit together and calm down before he decides to join me. He doesn't say a word until we are a couple of miles from the drug house near the southern end of Atlanta.

"If something goes down –"

I cut him off. "I'm ready Russ."

"Rad," he corrects.

"Yep."

"Are you going to stay mad at me all night?" He glances sideways at me.

Exhaling slowly while staring out the side window, I shake my head. "Just tone it down. I know they are expecting Rad and Angel to behave as lovers and I can do it–for the job. But when it's just us, I need you to be Russ–my best friend's brother and my sergeant."

"You're right." He sighs. "I crossed a line that makes you uneasy. I'm sorry, Sam. I'm just a little on edge about you coming in on this one. This crowd isn't just pushers and users. This job is more dangerous than anything you've done before. They're into some really fucked up shit with the gang out of Mexico. I'm sure there's more going on, they just haven't let me in on it yet..." He trails off, but I know what he's implying. He's worried about me.

Russ' admission of guilt feels real. _Finally_. So I accept his apology, relax and focus on the details and rank in this particular bunch of criminals and then break it all down mentally.

There are a handful of minions that helicopter around The X'kapz (I'm still wondering where they came up with this stupid name for a drug mafia) and a smaller group of officers who strictly oversee the illegal business dealings. Users will congregate around the trap house, but they will be forbidden in the big money house (the drug lords' houses). Getting in the grungy sell house or trap house, as we refer to them, is easy as cake, but the houses with the actual Kings will not be as simple as throwing a few ingredients together and topping it off with ooey, gooey sweetness. No, we have our work cut out for us. This is the reason the DTF assigned me to the case. I will have to be crafty and use my womanly persuasions to finagle our invitation up each rung on the ladder to the top. It will be a slow progression, but in this line of work, when is it not?

Russ gave me the rundown of what to expect from tonight's small gathering last week when the Captain called me in to discuss my assignment change. Luckily, it couldn't have come at a better time. My last assignment was rough and near the end one of the lower level pushers was getting close to busting my cover. If that would have happened a two year investigation could have been blown to shit. Thankfully, Mark "Mad Hatter" Hatfield will be on the inside of a cell for a couple of decades with the distribution and manufacturing charges, on top of the other felonies he got popped with just before the administration pulled me off the case. His general weirdness was getting completely out of hand.

I don't know if Mad Hatter's out of control drug usage is a contributor, but some time away from the general public might be a damn genius idea. That crazy motherfucker was selling to kids in elementary school and training them on producing shake 'n bake meth.

_Good riddance jerkoff_.

"Are you feeling alright?" Russ' concerned tone brings me out of my haze.

"Yeah," I nod, "Just getting all of my ducks in a row before we get there." Taking in our surroundings, I notice that we're creeping down a dark street, dodging potholes the size of a small car. "Damn, this side of town looks rough."

Russ laughs. "Just wait until you see the house. It's a total shit hole. Not exactly the kind of place you want to eat in."

Now this makes me laugh. Russ will eat anything, anywhere. The ten second rule isn't even in his vocabulary. If food hits the floor and he isn't hungry for it at the time he will let it stay there before he decides that he's ready for it. Then without a dust off or anything, he will pop that shit right into his mouth. I've seen it with my own eyes. Well, not exactly that extreme, but I'm sure he would do it. _This place must really be bad_.

"I've got the names and bios down, but who do you expect here tonight?" I ask checking my reflection in the mirror on the sun visor one last time.

"You can expect Decks' full crew tonight. They know you're coming with me and will want to put you through the tests. Other than Lourdes, you shouldn't have any problems being accepted. She's a total woman hater and you will be a prime target." He grins. "Just remember your role and let her believe that her title of Queen B is secure."

Rolling my eyes, I say, "Got it. I'm playing bitch to some stupid chick who thinks her blueblood ass is in charge." I shake my head thinking about all the Queen B's I've come up against in the past. Each one was nothing but all mouth. A bunch of empty threats and nasty looks don't make you a queen in this game of high-stakes chess. This one is the niece of the highest ranking officer, Nelson Kennedy, the lord of the X'kapz cartel. I just wonder why her majesty chooses to hang out at this shit hole when she is the top of the food chain. Like it or not at some point this Queen B will challenge me, just like all the others.

"Lourdes is feisty and vulgar." He laughs. "You'll get along like besties." Facing forward, he continues to smirk at his lame ass dig at me.

I pin him with a look that he can't resist peeking over at, and then follow it up by snarling, "I really think you should just shut the fuck up and drive." _I give the idiot a hard time, but I'm really glad to have Russ with me._ Faking a pout with his bottom lip poking, he answers my command by gunning the gas.
Chapter Three

"Damn, you weren't kidding about this place being a dump," I say as we park along the curb on the abandoned street. Scanning the tiny house on the corner of the block surrounded by a chain link fence darning a sign that reads, 'FORGET THE DOG, FEAR THE OWNER,' I notice a couple of out-of-place luxury vehicles parked alongside several more-at-home-in-the-gutter pieces of shit in the driveway. Through the rusty links of the house's barrier, a large Rottweiler's bark booms over and over through the quiet street, his razor-sharp teeth drip foamy spittle looking at me like I'm a rare porterhouse steak. Thank goodness I'm still sitting inside the car.

"I know it ain't the Ritz Carlton, but...yeah, I got nothing." Russ jokes to break up the tension that sits with us like a third and unwanted passenger.

Giggling at his dry sense of humor, I announce, "Curtain call."

Nodding as he reaches for the car door handle, Russ replies. "Break a leg, Ms. Angel Johnson."

Carefully walking up the broken concrete sidewalk, I survey the busted up wooden house and mentally cuss myself for not taking a hefty dose of zofram before coming. I'm sure the stench in this place will make my stomach roll. Taking me by the elbow, Russ assists me with climbing the broken planks gingerly stacked on top of cement blocks, posing as front porch steps. These little land mines are exactly the reason why I wore my low heel boots. Distribute your weight unevenly or catch a heel on the board and you could die from blood loss before the ambulance arrives out here in the hood. Even armed EMT's don't rush out to this part of town.

Russ runs his hand around my back slipping a finger through one of my belt loops, drawing my body close against his. This sweet gesture lets me know that he will protect me at all cost. Exhaling loudly, I smile at him and nod with confidence. He winks once before opening the door and together we cross the threshold into the world of drug hazes, sex fogs and gun stupors.

"Rad," a raspy voice screeches as we enter.

"Hey, Momma, you're looking especially beautiful tonight," he says teasingly, guiding me toward an elderly lady propped up on a recliner in front of the blaring television.

Momma, Merilyn Braxton, is the legal proprietor of the eighty something year old house and she doesn't look much younger herself. Her wiry short hair lays flat in the back from not washing in weeks. She is a plump lady, wearing a worn thin house coat that's missing a couple of snaps, partially revealing a bare buxom chest. She glances from Russ to me and smiles revealing broken and gapped teeth. I return the gesture while he introduces me.

"Momma, this here little cutie is my Angel."

"Well, it's about time Rad brought his woman by to pay a visit. He's being talking about you so much that I feel like we're old friends. I'm Merilyn, but you may call me Momma. Everybody does." She winks before reaching into a pocket and pulling out a crumpled up Kleenex. I squeeze the shit out of Russ' arm signally that I can't witness this crinkled up old lady blowing her nose or doing whatever it is she has planned with the overused tissue.

"I'm going to take Angel to meet the boys," he tells her, spinning us around quickly.

Placing the wadded up white paper under her nose, she replies, "Yeah."

"Thanks," I whisper as Russ ushers me toward the room across from Momma. A shiver runs through my body when she honks repeatedly as we rush away.

In the next room there are several tattooed and pierced men and women sprawled out around the small dining room and adjacent den. Three domineering men stand crowded around the dining room table, covered with a few dozen bags of illegal narcotics, several stacks of money and ten guns varying in shapes, sizes and models. Being a gun collector, I survey the loot and quickly get disappointed in the low budget mini arsenal they have displayed.

"Angel these are my boys." Grinning proudly after fist pounding each of them, Russ introduces me. "Decks, Murph and Wise this is the little honey I told you about. Angel." Russ pulls me in for a kiss against my hair.

"Damn brother, she is one fine piece of ass," the first guy comments like I'm not even in the room or that I might not be bothered by his lack of respect for women in general. Playing my role up, I offer a fake, overzealous giggle in return for his offensive compliment, when what I really want to do is knee the jackass in his sack.

"That's Decks," Russ offers. Hillary "Decks" Kennedy is tall and lean, with dark hair and dark eyes, in his mid twenties. _He looks exactly like his mug shot._ He is the nephew to Nelson Kennedy, the lord over all that lies before them. Decks' eyes latch onto my bouncing chest and the guy beside him punches him to break it. His stupid nickname derives from his love of card games. Criminals aren't always so creative with their aliases.

"Hey Angel." I turn my attention to a man matching the late twenties, ruggedly handsome dark haired description of Jude "Wise" Kingston. He pleads, "Ignore my disgusting friend. I'm Wise." _Yep, I knew it_ , I applaud my brilliant memorization skills. "And this big guy here is Murph," he bumps him with his elbow, "say hi to the pretty girl, Murph."

Wise gestures toward the mammoth size guy, Shane "Murph" Murphy, standing with his bald head tilted slightly to the side. The guy is so tall his head literally skims the low ceiling in this run down shack. His hazel eyes lock onto mine fiercely and I stifle a shiver. _Dude is freaking scary as hell_. Not much for talking, Murph grunts while giving me a small, sideways chin lift. The action makes me remember the guys in the car that passed Russ' house yesterday. I glance between them recognizing Murph and Wise as the two occupants of said vehicle.

"Hi guys. It's a pleasure to meet y'all," I respond, inflecting my southern drawl slightly and all three guys smile at me. Truthfully, Murph just grimaced.

"So you're the new hottie at the TatHouse?" Decks asks stepping around the small dining room table, I feel his eyes, like a hot tip on a poker roaming repeatedly over every inch of my exposed flesh and branding into his memory. "Now I will definitely be making my appearance down there soon."

I start my cover job next week. How is that I could swing suck a badass cover? I had a talent for drawing in high school, took advantage of it in college when I hooked up with the local tat artist who virtually foamed at the mouth when he paged through my portfolio. I practically put myself through school honing my skills on eager and drunken college kids. _I really hope this fucker doesn't become a regular customer_.

Taking my hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze, Russ guides me over to a Georgia Tech outdoor fold up chair, sitting in the corner of the room. He dusts something out of it, that might still be alive, and I reluctantly sit. I quickly take in my surroundings, noting the dilapidation of this aged house touches every facet from floor to ceiling.

_My god, these drug houses just keep getting worse and worse_.

Russ begins talking to the guys about the plans for the drugs spread in front of him and an expected shipment due to arrive soon. In a matter of minutes, I am completely forgotten. While pretending that I'm devoting all of my attention to the sprinkling of split ends in my hair, I mentally log every detail they discuss and file away every face that passes through over the next couple of hours.

I wasn't joking about having a fantastic memory. I can remember specific details from childhood that blows my parents and grandparents away. Sometimes it's a good thing, other times it's a curse. Remembering painful events that others can selectively forget so easily isn't a choice for me. However, in this line of work, it's a gift that comes in handy because I don't ever forget a face. That alone has won most of my court cases. Plus, when I actually get to use it, having a vivid memory helps me with the best part of this job. I'm a tech junkie and can write the hell out of some code. I get off on the latest gadgets, and can make a computer do things that the creators don't know it is capable of doing. It's completely fucking orgasmic. Don't want me digging around and finding out everything there is to know about you? Don't put it _anywhere_ on the internet, even secure sites.

"If Minder gets back in town before Friday, I'll have another batch for the party and we can make bank off the preppy, little dicks that will be there," Decks explains tossing a brown paper bag toward Russ.

Digging into the sack, Russ bobs his head enthusiastically. "Sweet dude. Let me know if you want me riding with you."

"Nah, I think I'll have you hang out here. Wise has some family shit and I want Murph with me. Think you can handle the house alone?" Decks asks Russ before glancing over at me, his eyes taking in every inch and I can only imagine what he's thinking.

"Sure." Pretending he's thoroughly disappointed, Russ shrugs and then winks at me. "I guess me and that sweet thang can find something to occupy our time while we sit around waiting on customers."

"Cool," Wise replies for Decks, who refuses to stop eye-fucking me.

Stomping feet outside draws the guy's attention toward the front porch. Opening swiftly, the door swings wide and bounces off the wall behind it. Two young boys rush through it wildly, making a dash across the room toward Decks.

"Uncle Decks, Uncle Decks," the boys, no more than six years old, chant as they leap into Decks expectant arms. They begin fast talking simultaneously, trying to bide for his attention and I can't understand one damn word.

"Hey Bozo and Cletus," Decks teases playfully, pulling both boys into a breath squeezing embrace.

I smile at how adorable the jackass can be with the children, but then frown realizing that these kids are too damn familiar with this drug house. Shit like this really pisses me off. Kids have no business being involved in this world. I can't imagine what kind of parent brings their children into this kind of shit hole either.

"Uncle Decks those are not our names. I'm _Jonas_ and my brother's name is _Jonesy_ ," the precious little blonde haired boy shouts while pointing at his twin.

"Mom, tell Uncle Decks that our names are not Bozo and Cletus," the other boy demands looking behind him.

Directing my attention toward the front door, I eagerly anticipate meeting the parental unit that calls herself Mom, and yet acts like a total moron by putting her children's lives in direct danger by bringing them here.

A stick thin, blonde woman in her late twenties saunters in wearing a stark white linen dress and six inch heels. Her hair and makeup are exquisitely done, and the bag she clutches in her hand is definitely a designer label. I know because I have the same damn purse back at home. I grunt in disgust, knowing that I have one thing in common with a piece of trash like her and Russ shoots me a warning glare.

"Boys, get the hell off Decks," she orders, stepping into the room. "Now, dammit!" The bitch is screeching, all red-faced and furious, at the two cuties when they don't obey her first command.

Decks drops the boys, rubs his hand over both cotton colored heads and then demands, "Ah, get your prissy panties out of a bunch, Lourdes."

_Ah, so this is Lourdes. Well fuck me_ _and let the games begin._
Chapter Four

"Shut the hell up, and go get the shit out of my Land Rover," Lourdes snaps importunately at Decks while walking through the small front entryway, clacking her heels across the broken linoleum floor. She stops just inside the room and glares at her brother with bitter hatred.

Lourdes is an exceptionally beautiful woman with flowing platinum-blonde hair, styled superbly and her body seriously makes me want to puke. As a matter of fact, when she looks over at me for one brief second and her gaze rakes over me deliberately slouching in this stupid ass canvas chair, I threw up in my mouth a little. Too good for the likes of me, she doesn't even acknowledge the newbie crackhead in the corner. Clearly she sees me as less than, which doesn't bother me in the least bit. I've spent my entire life around Lourdes copycats. Hell, my mother could shred this little hussy and her heir-apparent attitude, without breaking a sweat.

After scanning her over, from the top of her imaginary crown to the bottom of her silver Christian Louboutin's, I peel my eyes away from the bitch and find Russ' knowing smirk. He doesn't know me _that_ well. I flip him off slyly and then scamper over to the table where he is hovering over a small digital scale, weighing out individual bags of marijuana, his brown-bag prize.

Placing a kiss against his cheek, I whisper into his ear, "Asshole."

"Mm, Angel you say the sweetest things." He chuckles just as softly while glancing over his shoulder at me.

"Rad, meet me out back to unload this new shipment," Decks interrupts, taking Lourdes car keys, and jogging out the front door, followed by a couple of his stoner minions all too eager to get to the goodies.

"Wait here, babe," Russ suggests, pointing toward the exact spot on the floor where he's standing before strolling out of the room toward the back door.

Her highness snaps her fingers twice and commands. "Get away from the goods. He may trust a little junkie like you, but I sure as hell don't."

Realizing Lourdes is speaking to me I tear my eyes away from the backdoor and look back at her. Her dark blue eyes are narrowed in and disgust rolls through the heated look she stabs at me. _Rich, little, overindulged, nasty fucking bitch_. Biting back all the comebacks rolling around in my brain, I obey the queen just like a good peasant. Bowing my head slightly, I slink back to my meager seating while keeping my eyes averted.

"So you're Rad's newest..." She pauses and I glance up, noticing an evil smile crossing her lips as she forces out what she decides to title me. "Thing?"

"Yes," is all I say, looking back in the direction Russ has gone.

She crosses her too thin arms over her chest and stares me down. "Well, keep your sticky hands off the merchandise, or you will answer to me. Understand?"

My eyes lock onto hers. A clear message is being sent that I won't be tolerated if I fuck up once. I nod. She twists around and strolls over toward the stacks of cash before turning around facing me again.

"There is only one thing you need to remember about this place and your role while visiting. _I_ am in charge. No new meat can or will control a damn thing here. Rad may be comfortable bringing you in, but I am absolutely opposed. You should consider yourself an unwelcome guest in _my_ house." Word sparring with Lourdes will only get me booted out so I offer another curt nod instead.

"Good." She strokes a fingernail over one of the rusty barrels of a sawed off shotgun making a sound that reminds me of nails on a chalkboard and I shudder. "I'm glad you understand your place. Believe me when I tell you that I do not mind getting my hands dirty." She arches an eyebrow at me as she taps her fingernail on the firearm. _Message received_.

Wise strolls in through the back door carrying a large box. Decks, Russ and a couple of minions, all salivating at the mouth, trail behind him with their own boxes. Dropping them on floor, they pop the tops and pull out large bundles of uncut drugs. I glance at Russ as he pulls out what looks like four, large cellophane wrapped packages of cocaine. Shaking his head, he stifles a big shit-eating grin before he stacks it on top of the table.

Clearly, Lourdes is a transporter for some of their shipments. While her two small children run around the room, carefree and happy, as little ones should be, I fight against the growing hatred burning in the pit of my stomach watching as their mother and uncle continue on, not caring about how fucked up this scene is.

Nothing would please me more than to call child protective services on this bitch's ass right this very minute. But doing that will shut down this shit hole for maybe one day, just to have a new one spring up the very next. By the looks of Mommy-dearest, she has more than enough money to buy her way out of a CPS investigation. And probably any legal situation she could land her stupid ass in.

"Split it all down and move it along to your guys on the streets tonight. We have another fairly large shipment coming in soon, but I want this shit gone first," Lourdes orders while the guys just nod and continue busying themselves with unpacking. "The weed sales have been _amazing_ with the possibility of some of the states deciding to make marijuana legal soon, but the coke sales are stalling." She pauses to glance over at me before turning toward her brother. "Decks, take Rad down to the university and do _whatever_ it takes to make sure your contact pushes the shit."

"Yes, mother," Decks replies, leaning over the four additional rows of drugs.

"Fucking college bastards moving toward this new risky drug makes no damn sense to me. How the hell are they supposed to stay up all night and study for goddamn finals if they're using that shit?" She stares at me now with enough evil to burn down heaven. "You two good looking guys should be able to find some girls _wanting_ it and I expect you to _give_ it to them."

Gag! If this bitch only knew how stupid she sounds right now, she would shut the hell up. Taunting me with sending my "boyfriend" over to the college campus to hook up with some girl is so damn laughable. I wish she could hear inside my head, the cackling is deafening. However much I want to laugh in her face, I play up my acting role with an award winning performance instead.

"Rad?" I whine drawing more than his attention away from the stacks of illegal narcotics. "I don't want you going to the campus."

Moving toward me, Russ crosses the room with a prideful smile stamped on his face. "Aww Angel, you don't have anything to worry about. My eyes belong to you."

Lourdes cuts in front of him, stepping up at me glaring with an all out haughty attitude. She's so mad she could probably spit fire. "His eyes may belong to you, but his ass is _mine_. You better get it through that grease soaked head of yours now. Rad. Works. For. Me." She punctuates the last four words while poking a manicured finger near my face.

Rising out of my chair, I face Lourdes with a fixed look portraying pure jealousy. "His ass may belong to you in business, but he is my man!"

Lourdes snatches my braid pulling me within an inch of her face. She flashes a look at me with an inferno burning in her eyes and then her laugh erupts deep from her chest...like a crazy person. "We'll see how long that lasts. You are just Rad's recent acquisition." She jerks my head sideways so hard that my shoulder slams against the wall and pain erupts on contact, sending jolts all the way down to my elbow. I clasp my other hand over hers still gripping my knotted hair and snatch it away. A growl bubbles up from my chest. "Don't get comfortable here, bitch. You'll be yesterday's slut soon enough." Believing she gets to have the last word, she turns her back on me. Mistake!

"Yeah?" I snap, "We'll just see about that." I put both hands in the center of her back and shove with every ounce of my strength. She stumbles forward into the massive chest of Murph, who snarls at me glancing over Lourdes shoulder.

Thoroughly pissed now, Lourdes thrusts off his massive hands, holding her tenderly around the hips, twists around and breaks free, from his protective clutches. She glares in disgust for one brief second like she can't believe I even dare touch Her Royal Highnesses noble garments. Irate as hell, she stomps back over to me and then I feel the firm slap hit me across the cheek. Fuming mad doesn't even describe her boiling attitude now. She screeches, "Get this white trash out of my face."

Rushing around her to grab my hand raised ready to strike the bitch, Russ jerks me away from Lourdes. "Calm the fuck down Angel," he growls. "I warned you before we came that I won't put up with your jealousy issues." Playing his role well, he turns to her with apologetic eyes and adds, "Lourdes, I'm sorry about Angel's outburst. I guarantee she won't do it again."

"For your sake, you better get this little tramp in line, Rad, or you're both out on your asses," she replies, still glaring viciously at me before yelling. "Boys, get in the car, now!" She stomps out with Decks following behind, guiding her sons out the door.

Russ glances at Wise and Murph whose expressions are unhappy and challenging. I know what's coming next and I'm prepared for it. "You made me do this. Remember it and learn from it," he insists, slapping me violently with the back of his hand across my already swelling cheek. I crumple to the floor, nursing my stinging face and the tears begin immediately.

"Get her out of here, Rad." Russ nods at Wise's instructions. "And don't bring her back until she's under your full control."

Lifting me roughly off the ground with his large hand squeezing my upper arm, Russ counters, "We'll be here Friday night."

I would like to thank the academy for the honor of just being nominated for best actress for my portrayal of a domineering policewoman pretending to be a submissive druggie.
Chapter Five

By Friday morning my bruised cheek is a work of art. The colors are bold and demand attention. Returning back to Russ' place the other night, I intentionally didn't put ice on the area where Lourdes and Russ hit me so that it would continue to get worse. With Lourdes exhibiting her authority and Russ his controlling hand over me, I am now nothing more than a forgotten nuisance. This performance was necessary so that everyone in that room would accept me without fearing that I am an undercover cop. This world is all about power and Angel is absolutely powerless.

"How's the cheek?" Russ asks, turning on the small kitchen television and sitting on the barstool next to me.

Chewing on a strawberry, I lift an annoyed eyebrow. "I've told you three times already that it's fine. You hit like a girl Russ."

"You think?" Laughing he snags a strawberry off my plate and pops it into his mouth. "The shit Lourdes dealt out looked like it may have made you flinch a little."

"Oh, psycho Barbie has a heck of a slap, I'll give her that," he chuckles, "My acting skills are improving if you thought that strike hurt me."

"Mm, hmm, so tonight..." he leads, waiting for me to answer.

Sighing heavily, I push my plate away. "I am to be seen and not heard."

"You got it. We'll have a steady flow of customers tonight with it being payday and the first of the month. Everyone with a newly cashed government check will be banging the door down to get their fix."

"Cool. Will we see any under-covers buying?"

"Possibly," Russ replies, taking my plate to the sink after popping the last strawberry in his mouth. "Last count we have six agents in different levels of this organization. I think the county has two, but they damn sure haven't revealed themselves to me. Not sure about feds." Turning around he pierces me with a serious look. "And I don't care how chummy you get with anyone on the inside don't let them know your true identity."

"What the fuck Russ?" I snap, tossing my napkin on the counter and standing up. "This isn't my first goddamn job, ya know? I may look like a fucking teenager, but I'm far from it in experience with this world."

Cautiously, he walks over to me and then places both hands on my shoulders to calm me. It doesn't. His hot hands warming through my shirt feels like kerosene added to a struck match. I shrug them off and push against his chest with mine making him stumble backward.

"Easy," He smirks awkwardly, keeping his hands to himself as he demands my attention with his head tilted down in front of me. "It was just a friendly reminder. You know if someone catches wind of any of our true identities we are toast."

"Russ, I've got this." Mentally, I focus on the faces of my family briefly, remembering why I do this job and find peace enough to calm down. Turning away from him and stomping down the hallway, I add, "I appreciate your concern. No one will know a damn thing about Sam Walker."

Changing into my druggie attire, I choose something a little more demure tonight. Getting into the group took me getting noticed and possibly even desired by one of the other guys. But tonight's performance won't be the trashy girlfriend role. Instead, I go in as Rad's old lady, a term I fucking hate, so everyone will know that I've learned my lesson and accept my place at his side.

Pulling my hair into a low ponytail, I adjust my off the shoulder, pale yellow top with the silver camisole under it and expose the bruise I have from Lourdes slamming me against the wall. I use much less make up, still dark and dramatic, but the foundation is a mineral powder, allowing the richness of my purple cheek to glow through. I slip on a pair of worn dark brown Uggs over my dark blue skinny jeans.

Russ knocks on the bedroom door. "Ready?"

With that we are out the door for our first night working at the drug house.

A steady stream of customers flow through the door all evening, people from every walk of life; different colors, ages and backgrounds stop in for their weekend party favors. With a little bit of eye flirting, several men hit on me, but I shoot them all down, telling them I belong to Rad.

One high school guy whispers into my ear, offering to take me off of the old guy's hands if I ever decide that I want to try someone my own age. The kid is maybe eighteen, just about my twin brothers' age. I seriously can't suppress the shudder that rolls down my spine and he notices. Smiling proudly he adds that he would rock my world. Russ, who is watching the entire exchange, growls as he approaches, draws me into his arms and kisses the hell out of me right in front of the guy. The kid's apology follows as he bolts out the front door.

Lurching out of his grasp, I turn around and watch the kid sprint toward his car. I laugh and Russ peaks over my shoulder, seeing the car dash out of the driveway.

"That kid will dream naughty thoughts about you tonight." Russ chuckles.

"Squad car," I say, pointing out the window at the slow moving marked unit passing in front of the house.

I spot an elderly lady ambling out her front door in the house across from us. She waves at the officer and takes a seat in an old rocking chair. She probably called the police department to report suspicious activity from all the cars stopping by here continuously. God bless the neighborhood watch. Unfortunately for sweet little nosy-pants, she is just wasting her time calling it in. This patrolman won't make a move on us.

For reasons other than possibly knowing that this house is under task surveillance, his department just doesn't have the man power to shut down every nefarious operation going on in this area. These short-lived, ghetto drive-thru houses are like playing whack-a-mole, they pop up overnight all over the city and disappear just as quickly. Sometimes the police department can hit them, but soon enough they relocate and come back with a vengeance.

The average citizen would probably ask what good we're doing if we are inside promoting drugs. It doesn't make sense to do the very thing we are trying to stop, but infiltrating the upper management division of drug lords means temporarily forfeiting morality, becoming something we despise. Unfortunately, where we're at in this game, for the time being, is the ground-level grunt work and that means selling. If the guys and Lourdes don't find me as a threat, Russ will be brought in on a transporting level soon, another step closer to the inner circle. I pray this job doesn't take as long as Russ fears it will.

Nearing midnight the guys arrive from their college party. They are high as a kite and laughing their asses off when they bound through the front door. Decks strolls over, glancing at the bruise on my cheek he lifts a hand and tenderly slides the back of his cool knuckles over it. "You okay Angel?" he asks staring into my eyes like he might possibly give a damn.

Nodding weakly, I softly affirm, "Yeah, thanks." I hold his magnetic stare a moment longer and he graces me with a sexy smile.

Murph strides over, followed by a couple of new faces and they also check out my partially covered injury. Wincing playfully, Murph mumbles softly, "Ah, it doesn't look too bad."

Russ charges over and pulls me away from Decks, who keeps his gaze locked on me. "So how was the party?" Russ asks, a bit of jealousy flowing with his question.

Sitting in a wingback chair, Decks gloats. "We sold out." Minder, one of the new guys, takes a seat on the old, flower patterned sofa, lights up a fat-ass joint and takes a long drag from it before passing it to Decks. Decks puffs a few times and then says to Russ, "Those greedy little bastards even pre-ordered shit for tomorrow night's social gathering."

"Sweet," Russ declares, licking his lips as Decks shoves the tight rolled blazing marijuana toward Murph who's sitting next to him. Murph shakes his head, passing on his turn so Decks thrusts it at me. I glance up at Russ for permission and he nods. I pretend to pull in the illegal substance softly twice before faking a long drag and then mimic choking immediately. I hate the smell of marijuana and getting high, but appearances are everything in this world. The next time they offer me some I'll just throw out the old standby cover and tell them I'm on color code. _Works every time_.

"Damn. Girl likes her reefer," Decks croons, a devilish grin forms on his dark red lips.

Forcing my words out, I fake a couple more coughs and giggle, "Good shit." All the guys laugh, and Russ finishes off the first pass around handing it back to Minder.

"How was business here?" Minder asks, rolling a second joint up and I zero in on his masterful skills. It's mesmerizing watching how he crinkles the paper into a V shape, sprinkles a little of the dried cannabis into it and then slowly slides the tip of the paper across his tongue.

Dammit, I'm fucked up from a contact buzz.

Minder glances up at me, catching me staring he winks and I smile shyly. Realizing that I am drooling, I wipe my thumb on the corner of my mouth and now his eyes zero in on my lips. Thankfully the other guys draw him back into their conversation, and I sneak off toward the bathroom.

Upon reaching the doorway I hear a soft murmur coming from the room beyond the bathroom. Momma has been asleep for several hours, and it sounds like she's having a bad dream. I pop into the grimy bathroom and out just as quickly after splashing water on my face. Entering the hallway I hear the sound again, louder this time. I knock on her door, but there's no response. Opening the door, I see Momma sleeping soundly in the bed, but I pause to see if she is the source of the noise.

"Martin?" Momma whimpers.

I sit on the edge of the bed beside her which creaks under my weight. I softly slide my hand over her cold arm and she shifts around slowly. Smiling up at me with glistening eyes, she grips my hand weakly with frozen fingers.

"Just a bad dream Sugar. I'm alright now. Go join your friends." She rolls away, pulling the thin cover over her shoulder before adding, "Good night dear."

My heart crushes for the sweet, old lady who is being used by her _friends_ as a cover for their illegal operations, but she is completely unaware that her fleabag house will soon be taken from her because of them. Yes, in this business even the innocent people lose big.
Chapter Six

May

"Dance with me," Decks whispers into my ear, ordering me rather than asking, "I am the birthday boy after all."

Standing over me, he leans back to look me in the eye teasingly. His dimples pierce deep into his cheeks with his playful smile while his dark brown eyes smolder just a little darker with lust. Knowing that he won't give up, I take his offered hand and allow him to guide me out on the dance floor.

Tonight marks five months since I joined Russ in this assignment we jokingly refer to as "Busting Kennedy's". Yes, it is a completely lame ass name, but we struggled with it for over a week, and as clever as we are we still couldn't come up with a better title. It is the Kennedy name (no, not those Kennedy's), and their money, backing most of the suspicious activity, and controlling all of these players. Plus, busting criminals is our game. Okay, yes again I admit, it is weak.

"Happy birthday, Decks," I say, drawing my hand up to his shoulder as he pulls my body against his for the slow Coltrane song that just began playing on the old jukebox.

The club in North Atlanta, Holidays, named after the famous jazz singer, who the owner claims he's related to, is the place to go when you want to be serenaded by sultry jazz and blues tunes. They are the only selections available in the neon, coin-operated record player too.

He slides his warm hand down my back and slips it under the hem of my shirt. His hot fingers begin a slow circling above the waistband of my skirt. His head drops down so that his mouth hits just above the top of my ear. His breathing is heavy and his breath is saturated with the woodsy scent of whiskey.

"Do you mean that Angel?" he asks, his voice husky with desire.

Confused by his question, I pull away slightly, looking into his eyes for understanding before nodding. "Sure."

"Goddamn Angel," he growls low inciting shivers down my spine. He draws me tighter against his chest again and the vibrations hum through my thin top, straight through to my breast. "If you weren't Rad's ol' lady I would fucking take you up on that offer and it would be a very happy day." _What the hell did he think I offered him_?

Decks and I have a really flirty and hot relationship going. He flirts, gets hot and then I get going, meaning I usually just walk away from him. Tonight I'll let him slide since so far he hasn't done anything beyond the previously mentioned, although we have never danced together before and tonight his flirting combined with our proximity is apparently affecting him. I can feel his hardness pressing against my stomach.

"But I am Rad's," I remind him looking up at his hooded eyes with a sweet smile plastered on my face. "So let's keep this thing between us cool. Okay?"

"Yeah," is all Decks can say gloomily, swaying our bodies through the last notes in the seductive song. His wayward hands are beginning to piss me off.

Decks is a beautiful man and if he cut out the crudeness he wouldn't be a bad catch. Like so many others in this lifestyle, he has thrown his life into the shitter when choosing to distribute illegal narcotics instead of working a normal job. I can't imagine any self-respecting woman falling for someone like him.

Walking back to our table, I hear the small jazz band warming up for their set. I take my seat facing away from the stage beside Russ and wind my hand around his arm, claiming my territory for all the watching eyes. This is our first display in public so I plan on making it a good show. I just hope that Decks is the only guy I give a stiffy tonight. Taking up the large front corner booth, our group consists of Wise, his wife Natalie, Decks, Russ, me, two new guys and their dates.

"Damn Decks, don't tell me you're alone on your birthday brother?" Wise asks jokingly.

Dark, haunting eyes narrow on me forcing me to feel his desire and I can't help noticing how attractive Decks is before he responds, "Haven't made my birthday wish yet."

Oh the man is good, but he isn't for me. Decks is way too much of a player, not that there's anything wrong with playing around. I've had my share of one-night stands and actually prefer them over relationships. They are a whole lot less messy than dating and all the bullshit pleasantries that go along with working out your differences for the sake of...whatever. I shiver. Just the thought of two people in a committed relationship makes my body convulse with repulsion. That's one thing I would never have to worry about with commitment-phobic guys like Decks, settling down isn't an issue. However, when it comes to Decks specifically, I will pass on one-nighters for a year before I let him seduce me into his bed.

"Is your sister stopping by for the festivities?" Natalie asks Decks.

"She comes by for the set every weekend." Shrugging, Decks plucks a whiskey off a serving tray from the waitress as she approaches with a fresh round of shots. "Can't see why tonight would be any different." Everybody takes their glasses, clinks them and then cheers for the birthday boy.

"Angel," Natalie catches my attention smiling between me and Russ. After downing my shot, I turn her direction. "How long have you and Rad been dating?"

"Only a few months," I tell her, bumping my shoulder against Russ'. "Right hon?"

Bobbing his head, Russ agrees, "And each day is equal to ten years in heaven with my Angel."

Natalie, a woman well into her eighth year of marriage, swoons at his sugary sweet response, but it makes me want to throat punch him when he lays it on this thick. Instead, I bite down on my lip while forcing a smile and suppressing an exaggerated eye roll from hell. Natalie or Nat, as she's instructed me to call her, which I refuse because it just doesn't suit her, is around twenty-seven and is a fucking bombshell beauty with her long straight blonde hair, high cheekbones and hazel eyes. The woman could give Mrs. America a run for her money in the beauty segment of their competition; talent and intelligence remains to be seen.

The nosy, sweet housewife continues asking ridiculous couples questions over the next half-hour, only taking a break when the set ends and she shares, rather loudly, that she needs to pee. After turning down Natalie's offer to join her, I catch a break from our acting jobs when Russ offers to be my potty-chaperon replacement.

"I need to take a piss anyway." Russ escorts her away after giving me an understanding wink.

Feeling like the world is lifted off my shoulders, I relax leaning against the back of my seat and lazily turn my head toward the stage, noticing the instruments placed carefully on stands abandoned temporarily by their owners. Caught up in Natalie's game of one million outlandish questions, I didn't get a chance to observe the band while they played, but their seductive tunes quelled most of my natural fight or flight instincts, keeping me from telling her to go find another Barbie girl to play with.

The rest of our little group disbursed sometime during the Natalie Inquisition, disappearing into the large crowd and dark corners of the smoky club. And I can't blame them in the least. Truthfully, if I could've squeeze out passed Russ earlier, I damn sure would have, but he was deep into the tunes bellowing throughout the club so there was no escape.

Sipping on my fourth tumbler of Kentucky whiskey, I see Decks pressing against a cute brunette, seated at the bar. He turns his head slightly, his eyes latch onto mine holding my stare deliberately. With his right hand, he pushes away a few flowing strands of her hair, tucking them securely behind her ear before leaning in and pressing his mouth against it. Remaining locked on me, Decks' eyes heat fiercely as his lips brush against her sparkling earring. Either the contact of his mouth on her flesh speeds along his lust or he's imaging that it's my ear he's nibbling. The unsuspecting woman, stroking a hand up and over the hills of his wide bicep, nods her head and then picks up her small clutch. He winks at me while escorting her out the front door.

_Decks may not get his birthday wish, but it looks like he's going to unwrap his present_. I laugh silently and close my eyes, relaxing more when the blaring sounds of the jukebox is once again turned down allowing the live jazz music to saturate the darkened corners of this ultra-fab club.

With each note of the saxophone my body begins a slow moving dance with the sexy vibrating hums, like each puff of wind across the reed is a lover's caress along my flesh, teasing me to climax. The sound is hypnotic, and I am transported somewhere far away in my head. I stay like this, completely unaware of my surroundings, until Russ crashes heavily against me when he sits down again ruining my dreamlike state.

"You look sleepy. Ready for me to take you home?" Russ asks, killing the last bit of the sexiness buzz I was tripping on.

Sighing before answering him, I glance up at the man standing center stage, holding the golden instrument that was only moments ago my secret lover. He is a good looking man, in his late twenties, with dark hair and a body that I would love to use like a bottle of shampoo. I could spend an eternity lathering, rinsing and repeating with that finely chiseled physique. With each puff of breath, he squeezes his eyes tighter and my thighs begin mimicking them. His forehead glistens with the lightest sheen of sweat and I imagine placing my lips against it during a round of hot love making, sipping on the saltiness of him like I do with my favorite whiskey.

_What the fuck_? Bedeviled by his sexiness, I force my attention away from the stage and quickly glance around the table, hoping no one noticed my weird dazing over the sex-god front and center. Am I blushing? I never blush! The blistering heat I feel when I touch my hand to my cheek confirms it. Luckily for me, everyone is absorbed in the gorgeous saxophonist just as much and I squeeze by without embarrassing myself.
Chapter Seven

When the sensual song ends, the Holidays' crowd whistles and applauds the solo performance, begging for an encore. He kindly declines them before hopping down from the stage. After several bar-trolls are peeled away from him by their dates and other friends, the sexy saxophone god tips back a tumbler of dark liquid offered from the bartender. While glancing between a few guys, he laughs and enjoys a celebration drink and smoke.

I can't pry my eyes away from him. Everything about this man is spectacular. Apparently I'm not the only one who thinks so because soon he becomes very popular and the group surrounding him begins eclipsing my view. Just before our inevitable separation, he twists his head my direction and searches the crowd until he finds me studying him. Catching my stare, he locks and holds it. His shimmering eyes slowly begin heating, taking my now combustible panties prisoner along with it. My breathing becomes labored as I imagine receiving that same look while he nestles between my thighs and against my core. _Oh my god I need that._

Tilting his head downward slightly, he looks at me from under hooded eyes and I feel like they are beckoning me toward him. My heart skips a beat in time. Dizzy from the lust stalking my body from just his eyes on me, I struggle taking in air. Suddenly his dark eyes shift to startle when someone near him shoves against his back. My focus instantly lowers to his lips as he speaks to the rude son of a bitch. His dark red lips, swollen from recently playing, needs only two words to describe them: fucking delicious. Damn. I can't remember the last time I was this turned on. The satin material in my bra feels like sandpaper against my sensitive nipples, which are now tiny pebbles begging for _his_ lips. Totally eclipsed by fans the sex-god disappears right in front of my eyes.

Not a moment too soon either.

Natalie plops down beside me, draping an arm over my shoulder and yelling in my ear. "I think you and Rad are the cutest couple ever. I like you Angel," Hiccup, "Oh, and if you ever feel like hiring my kids, I'll babysit you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I narrow my eyes on her drunk-ass and ask, "How much did you drink tonight Natalie?"

Dropping her head against my shoulder, she laughs for a good solid minute. I look to her husband for help, but he just shrugs a shoulder innocently. Her shoulders jerk wildly while she drunkenly stammers, "I said...if you ever...feel like babysitting my kids..., I'll hire you."

"Uh," _Oh damn, not kids_. I freak a little. "Sure Natalie, the next off night I have from the shop, after I find complete and utter bliss at the bottom of my drink, I'll babysit your precious minions." I say sarcastically before tipping my whiskey glass back.

She continues to laugh while the rest of our group reemerges from their hiding spots. Decks has his birthday present neatly tucked under his arm and is no longer eye fucking me. _Thank you baby Jesus._ After a few minutes of chaotic chatter about an after party they elect to crash Lourdes' place since she failed to show for her brother's birthday celebration.

But have you ever heard that little saying, "Speak of the devil and up he jumps"? Ah, yeah, that just happened. In a blazing red Nicole Miller dress and some "every bitch wishes she had these" red Jimmy Choos heels, Lourdes sashays her pompous ass straight over to our table.

"No kiss for the birthday boy?" Decks teases and everyone at our table laughs.

"Move," Lourdes demands haughtily, glowering down at him while angrily pushing hair behind her ear.

She stands hovering above all her peasants, waiting for Decks to vacate the chair sitting on the outside of our booth, especially designated for him tonight. Obeying his Queen, Decks scoots into our already packed booth, pulling his date onto his lap and cramming Russ tighter against me. Instantly Lourdes spots me and lifts a professionally arched and contemptuous eyebrow. Obviously no one informed the Queen that I didn't run away after our initial meeting.

"Rad," Lourdes purrs, boring holes through me. "Isn't vanilla last month's flavor?"

Russ draws me against his chest, placing a kiss against the corner of my mouth. "Vanilla is my favorite flavor," he tells her and the guys whoop their approval. The scowl on her face is priceless.

Honestly, I can't imagine anything making me happier. At this precise moment, fate becomes my newest adversary, deciding to have the last laugh at my expense. In all his divine essence, the sex-god graces our booth, dropping a kiss against the cheek of the Queen herself. Lifting her hand up, Lourdes cups his face and he draws her body tightly against him, pressing his still swollen lips against her collagen injected ones. She drapes her arms around his wide shoulders as his hands slip around her thin waist. He drives his tongue through the slit of her lips and she responds dancing with the chaotic rhythm he is creating.

_I am a fucking voyeur._ Watching him claim ultra bitch in front of everyone in the club has me regretting my earlier statement. Right this very minute I would be happiest if I was the bitch in those red Jimmy Choos. I'm disgusted by the jealousy twisting in my gut.

Heavy panting makes Lourdes voice thick when she purrs, "E, don't kiss me like that in public. I already told you PDA is not my thing." E, as she so affectionately calls him, flinches at her tone. Lourdes doesn't notices his reaction because she quickly snatches a mirror from her purse to check her lipstick. What a bitch! "But we'll most certainly revisit it again once we get back to your place."

"My man," Decks stands and shakes E's hand, "Sweet sounds from the blues king for my birthday. I'm touched. In fact, I think I might have shed a tear." E only nods back.

Russ slides his mouth against my ear, which any other time would have repulsed me, but I'm still so entranced by E that I barely hear him until he shouts my name.

"Angel?"

Forcing my attention away from E and turning toward Russ who has a shit-eating grin spread clear across his face, I whine, "What?"

"You're staring."

"Shut up!" I growl softly, my eyes drifting back to E.

"And drooling," Russ chuckles riotously.

"I swear to all that is holy," I glare at Russ after searching the table and failing to find a utensil sharp enough to cut him, "if you say one more fucking word..." I don't need to finish that threat. Leaning away from me in a flash, Russ takes it seriously and shuts up.

Everyone at the table rises from their seats simultaneously and I grab Natalie on the elbow before she can scoot out the other side. "What's going on?"

"After party," she replies, looking at me all wild-eyed, like I have something creepy stuck on my face.

"Oh, I guess I wasn't paying attention. Where are we going?"

"Back to Blues' house," she states through two obnoxious hiccups and then downs the last of her drink.

Curious about meeting the second highest ranking officer in the X'kapz and good cop gone rogue, I smile at her and ask too eagerly, "Does he know we're crashing his house?"

"Yes." Giggling like a kid getting tickled on her feet, she bobs her head several times before focusing on me again. "God Angel you are so funny. Like if you were to go on that reality show where unknown comics stand up telling jokes and you need my vote I would give it to you." She snorts. "Heck, I'll give you two."

I shake my head because I don't even know what the hell she's rambling on about. Sliding out of her seat with me following closely behind, Natalie's laughing slows and she catches her breath before turning around and grabbing me. Tugging me by the hand, she drags me up to Lourdes and E.

"Angel..." Pointing a sharp fingernail into the chest of the sexiest man I have ever laid my eyes on, Natalie gains the attention of E. _Oh my, damn he is a big man and so effing gorgeous_. And as my eyes lift to greet his steel gaze, after taking in every scrumptious inch of him, I fall once again into an abyss that will surely never let me go without pain, a lot of pain. "This is Blues."

_Blues_. Spinning out of control would be one way to describe the way my mind feels at this very moment. Another way that you might put it is that I just had the rug snatched out from under me. But if I'm being completely honest, the best way for me to explain how I am right this very second knowing that the first man to ever captivate me belongs to the Queen bitch, I would have to say that I am royally fucked.
Chapter Eight

We pull up to an opulent house sitting pristine on top of a secluded mountain sprinkled with fifty similar matching homes north of Buckhead and my lungs seize up. Yes, my family is uber-wealthy and I've been in more than my fair share of mansions before, but this...this is unbelievable. Old money lives in Buckhead, but this part of it is a playground for new money. The entire house is illuminated with outside spotlights and it looks like every light inside is on, making it appear celestial against a moonless sky backdrop.

"This is big time! Everything we've been hoping for is happening right now. Can you believe this shit?" Smiling animatedly, Russ turns the key, silencing the heavy rumble of his GTO. "Not once have they invited me out with them, but with you, I score a damn invite to Decks' birthday party and now we're actually going into the fucking second in commands bitchin' crib." He continues smiling like a little kid going to the circus and seeing the clowns for the first time.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Stay close and let's just be guests tonight."

Russ turns and glances at me, his brows pinching together. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that we don't need to draw suspicions the first night that we're invited into the inner circle." I tear my gaze away from him, looking back at the glowing portal into a world of more than money. Access to Blues' house is our egress that will allow us to clean up the drugs on the streets for future generations. "We're bringing our A-game tonight with the undercover roles," I smile at him encouragingly, "So make me proud."

His apprehensions fall as the corners of his mouth tip up, again. "It's on!"

Linking our hands together, Russ escorts me inside. Everyone in the small group arrived before us and from the sound of it they are still in full celebration mode. We enter the large den where they've gathered, sitting at a full-size tavern style bar at the back of the room. The place is spectacular. It's dark except for a few recessed cans in the ceiling lighting up the perimeter of the room, and from the blaze coming from the kindling in the over-sized fireplace on the left-side of the room. The right wall is a full span of windows, a framework to the ominous black lake below and Buckhead skyline in the distance.

"Damn," Russ whistles as we approach the bar, "Blues this is the life, dude"

Ethan "Blues" Sloane is the nephew to one of the wealthiest and most influential men in the south. He is considered the most sought after bachelor of the century based on two reasons. The mega-billion dollar family empire his uncle Oliver built from the single ideal of offering free internet access to customers in coffee shops. Needless to say, his idea parlayed the Sloane family into the country's top ten percent with the world's rising addiction to coffee and social media. And the fact that Ethan is, according to all of the top gossip magazines, one of the 'Sexiest Men of All Time,' I would have to say that their assessment would be spot on. Although, it appears that he is no longer eligible for the bachelor title, seeing that Lourdes has taken him off the market.

The disturbing part about Blues is that he was once a great police officer. He represented the city of Atlanta with an outstanding service record for several years. He was recognized by the governor twice for his heroics in the line of duty where he was shot once protecting his partner during a shoot out. The other incident, while off duty, he rescued a family during an armed robbery of a small check to cash quick service. Sadly, at some point Blues fell from grace and became the scum that he was once good at throwing in jail.

"That it is Rad," Blues' eyes flash up and he smiles at Russ, while pouring himself glass of bourbon. He doesn't even acknowledge me, hanging onto Russ' arm. "Glad you could join us tonight. Would you care for a drink?"

"Absolutely, boss." Russ grins wider and you could literally envelope the entire planet it is so huge.

"None of that business," Blues tips the bottle, pouring another tumbler half-full and slides it along the bar top toward Russ, "Call me Blues."

"Angel," Natalie pulls on my arm, drawing me away from Russ, "Come look at this freaking view."

Clutching me tightly, she drags me toward the vast scenery beyond the glass. We pass Decks, making out with his birthday present on an oversize sectional sofa, Murph at the end of the bar, tracking me across the room, and Wise speaking on his cell phone, unfazed by everything and everyone.

I don't know why I do it, but I glance back over my shoulder and blush red all over after catching an odd look from Blues. No, it wasn't odd, it was severe. He turns away quickly, starting a conversation with Russ and I continue crossing the room toward the windows. Natalie zones out peering at the incredible beauty on the outside and I take advantage of the moment to settle the damn rattlesnakes inside my stomach that woke up from Blues' brief glare. What the hell could his total enrapture of me back at the club and now complete disregard mean? And that look? His blue eyes almost look demonic, taking on a fiery glow that matches the burn from the blistering firewood.

"You're here?" a snarl behind me jerks me from my observations of the tall, dark god and I spin around to find Lourdes scrutinizing look. "Don't you feel privileged? A little, trailer-trash nobody getting a glimpse of how the better-half lives and I can imagine all the dirty thoughts whipping around in that head of yours." She steps up close and with two long, dark red painted fingernails she pinches my sleeve and then drops her hand away swiftly. "A warning: in my world, we deal with thieves in our own way. So vanquish every idea you have of taking _anything_ here."

That threat sounds more like a jealous lover's speech instead of an owner hoping to protect her valuables. I simply nod, hoping to keep her from knowing that I would really rather slap the hell out of her snooty ass for saying such things to me.

"This is the most beautiful house that I have ever seen." Natalie slips over to Lourdes, who barely acknowledges the sweet girl. "You are one lucky lady Lourdes. Taking Blues out of the bachelor lifestyle has been every single woman's goal for years."

"Luck has nothing to do with it, he's been _mine_ for years," She glares at me, "We just finally made it official."

"Yeah..." Natalie croons all dreamy eyed, twirling around repeatedly and soaking up all of the luxury the enormous room has to offer.

"Angel, would you like a drink?" Russ asks, sidling up beside me and slinking his arm around my back. _My hero_.

I smile warmly. "That would be great."

Marching me away from the super-bitch, Russ suggests, "No cat fights here."

"You're an idiot." I snap, taking an open barstool and propping an elbow on the rail. "I'm not the one who went all "Fangirl" on Blues earlier." I adore teasing him when the chance presents itself. Sometimes he makes it too easy.

Russ parts my legs with his wide thigh, drapes his hands over my hips and leans into me, placing his whiskey dipped mouth on the edge of my ear. "Just playing the part of good servant to the Dark Prince. And you..." still whispering, he looks me in the eyes, "What's the deal with Lourdes being so hateful toward you?" In a concerned tone, he says, "Usually the Queen backs off the newbie's once she enlightens them on the ways of the hierarchy."

"Not sure." I smirk, pushing him away from me and crossing my legs and arms. "But I can handle it. The pecking order isn't new to me."

He lifts a hand to my face, pushing away a feathery strand of hair with a delicate touch and I stare up into his serious, green eyes. Russ is a handsome man. He's tall, several inches over six feet, with a well defined body, from years of working out. His silky light brown hair is short, but long enough to run your fingers through. If we had met at a club before I became friends with Kris, there's no doubt I would have dated him.

"Say the word and we'll leave," he whispers, placing soft lips to mine and I nod.

"Y'all are too damn cute. I swear you could make an old married couple jealous." Natalie exclaims, smiling up at us. Her words are still slurry, but her eyes have cleared and are focused now, catching us in the intimate moment and believing it real.

"Hey Natalie," I smile back, "show me the bathroom?"

"Yes ma'am." She spins around on her heels. "Follow me, Sugar."

After winking at Russ, I hop off the stool and catch up with Natalie, bouncing out of the den. I drape my arm through hers, stilling her after she stumbles into the hallway.

"You okay Natalie?"

"Yep," Nodding her head, she giggles and then wiggles oddly a little, "Now that you mention it, I really need to pee too." She giggles again and it echoes loudly through the silent hall.

"Okay, you go first." I chuckle, pointing her toward the bathroom door. "I'll wait out here."

"No silly. There's another bathroom at the end of the hallway." She pushes open the bathroom door and shuts it without another word.

I glance down at the end of the dark hall and see several closed doors. Feeling my bladder swelling by the second, I decide to scout out the other bathroom, rather than chancing an accident. She could pass out on the toilet, leaving me standing out here in severe pain. Approaching the end of the corridor, I play the eeny, meeny, miny, moe game and let fate choose the door.
Chapter Nine

Dabbing off the excessive pink lipstick, I adjust my white, fitted button down top and smooth my hands over the front of my gray pencil skirt. Glancing around the immaculate bathroom at all the early Italian decor, I'm surprised that a guy like Blues didn't pick a more sterile look in here. It's very...inviting. However, since it turns out the door fate chose led into a large bedroom instead of another guest bath, I suppose a more personal touch is expected in the en suite. I finger out the tangles in my hair, which is hanging down the middle of my back and in need of a trim, twirl around on my three inch black department store pumps and reach for the doorknob ready to rejoin the group. Before I have a chance to pull, the door pushes open and in stalks the king of the castle, himself.

"What are you doing?" Blues growls lowly, entering the room and dominating the space with his large frame. He runs a hand through his unruly, sexy hair, brushing it away from his eyes. This close to him, I notice that his fitted, black long sleeve shirt, rolled three-quarters up his forearms, and faded denim jeans are designer and form against his faultless body, marvelously. His posture is impeccable and his teeth are shiner than they should be for a smoker. _So damn unfair_. Realizing, I have yet to answer his question, I take a significant step back while placing both hands on my hips and straightening my spine to match his daunting stance.

"I thought about starting a softball game," I smirk like a true smartass, "but that would mean sharing this room with ten other people and I think I might be a little selfish with it."

Unaffected by my dig he prowls closer with a pissed off look in his seriously beautiful blue eyes, making the hackles on the back of my neck raise. I take another significant step back, bumping my ass painfully into the counter behind me.

"Why are you here?" He glares at me with strange interest and I shift from my normal personality to that of the peasant he expects me to be.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, averting my eyes to the floor. "Natalie took the front bathroom. I was looking for the second one and I didn't realize this was someone's bedroom until I was already inside," I sigh and pout, "I really needed to go."

Two large feet move forward another couple of steps and I wait for him to growl at me, again. Instead, he places a hand under my chin, lifting my face up to meet his. The shock from his affectionate touch grips me, making my head feel like someone switched on a carousel. I look up into probing blue eyes and swallow hard, staving off the swirly feeling that buds low within my stomach. They narrow in on mine penetratingly, like he's expecting for the windows to my soul to open up, revealing everything about me to him, a total stranger and one of the most powerful drug cartel members in the south.

"Who are you?" Although Blues has tamped down his callous tone to some extent, it still feels like his annoyance is a weighty force pushing hard against my chest and I really wish I had the space to step back again.

"Angel," taking a hold of his large hand, I remove it from my face then use a more stern tone, "Rad's girlfriend." Stepping around him, I rush away, leaving the suddenly too crowded bathroom and heading quickly toward the closed bedroom door.

"I don't see it," he demands, halting me in my tracks. I turn around slowly, finding him standing directly behind me and gasp at his closeness.

"You," I stammer. Damn, his imposing stature is intimidating up close. "You don't have to see it."

"Angel," he smirks purposely, "Why don't you tell me the truth, huh?"

"Oh, I'm all his alright." Blues twitches an eyebrow, clearly not buying my story. Rather than jumping him like a starving alley-cat after finding a freshly tossed box of leftover Chinese food, I control my wacked libido and say with a breathy voice, "Rad won me fair and square in a card game after pulverizing my ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago." Going in for the kill, I throw in twirling a strand of hair around my finger, strategically placed in front of my boobs, and flashing my sweet smile, accentuating the dimple in my right cheek. His eyes jump between the provocative actions erratically, clearly unable to chose the more important of the two.

Suddenly the pure blue shade flashes angrily to a navy just before he rushes forward, grabbing my teasing hand in one of his, and wrapping his other thick hand around the front of my neck. Forcing me backward and making my ass bump the door behind me, Blues pins me with his hips while lifting my face up to his. My pulse jumps crazily, a wild mix of excitement and fear throbs through my whole body as his heat and size engulfs me. He lowers his face to mine and the hand fiercely holding my neck slides up, clasping like a vice around my jaw. Simultaneously, I'm turned on by the sex-god and scared to death that he knows the truth about me.

"Don't lie to me," he growls directly into my face, his warm breath brushing across my lips.

I suck in a deep breath, but before I can respond he covers my mouth with his. His swollen lips crush down on me so hard I wouldn't be surprised if it leaves a bruise. I should scream, push him away and slap him hard for such a brutal attack, but instead I close my eyes and melt. Right here on the spot, Blues gives me the hottest kiss I've ever experienced in my life. His tongue swipes out, licking the seam between my lips as he eases off the pressure of our connection and I find that I wished he wouldn't have done that.

With my free hand, I grab the back of his head and force him against me again. He steps closer, placing both feet outside of mine and drops his hold on both my hand and jaw. Hot fingers dig under the edge of my loose hanging shirt and he grips my hips viciously. If he wasn't pushing all of his body weight on me before, he most certainly is now. His erection pressing into my stomach causes my clit to pulse wantonly. I part my mouth accepting his demanding tongue and bliss consumes me. He tastes like smoke and spicy whiskey; a combination that would normally turn me off, since I loathe smoking. At the moment, I couldn't care less if he smokes a pack of cigarettes a day as long as he kisses me like this before taking me to his bed every night.

A low and deep moan rumbles from his chest. I pop my eyes open to see him staring back at me, but he keeps kissing me. With our gazes totally locked on each other, we continue this passionate assault. My free hand joins the other and I dig my nails desperately into his soft, dark hair, holding onto him, like we're standing on a beach, and the waves are threatening to steal him away. My mind goes crazy, seeing the desire building and flowing out from his scorching sapphire eyes. He slides both hands down the sides of my thighs, and when he reaches the hem of my skirt he lifts it up to my hips. I gasp from the shock of him doing something so audacious, but he doesn't break our kiss. Not giving a damn about it, his hands snatch the sides of my lacy thong, shredding it in one swift movement.

Right about now, you're probably thinking that I'm some sort of slut allowing Blues to take me, here in the middle of his house filled with guests, especially while I'm working an undercover job that will end with him going to prison for a very long time. Well, I too wish that I had the ability of cognitive thought at this precise moment. But there is none. My mind fades as he lifts my body so that I'm straddling his thigh. I feel his hands leave my hip then hear the downward tug of the zipper on his blue jeans.

Breaking our kiss, Blues jams his face into the crook of my neck, kissing me and scraping his teeth along my sensitive skin. _Oh god_. Both of his hands slide up and squeeze the hell out of my breasts, pinching my nipples through the fabric of my shirt and bra, forcing out a heavy moan.

"I need to fuck you hard, Angel," he growls breathlessly against my ear, biting down painfully on my earlobe. He moves one hand away from my pebbled nipple and I whimper in protest. He groans, moving his mouth back to mine as his hand slips between my parted legs.

"You need me to fuck you, too," he points out, finding my desire hot and wet after thrusting a thick finger deep inside my slit causing me to release another needy whimper. He kisses me hard, twirling his tongue around mine and then pulling out slightly to slide it along the edge of my bottom teeth.

"Tell me," Blues demands, drowning another finger knowingly inside my slick pussy. At this point he doesn't need my verbal permission. He can tell by my kiss and what he feels in his hands that I'll take whatever he wants to give me, but I answer him anyway.

"Yes..." I let loose a savagely needy moan, throwing my head back, closing my eyes and writhing on his hand, wanting the abrasiveness of his palm on my swelling clit so badly. "Fuck me, Ethan."

His entire body goes rigid, halting all pleasurable actions. Opening my eyes and looking at his, I see a different kind of darkening there.

"Don't say my name," he demands crossly, his jaw clenching viciously and his stare piercing me wildly. My heart jumps up into my throat, preventing me from speaking so I nod slowly, still watching the darkness rolling in his beautiful eyes. He removes his fingers and puts his hands on my hips helping me off his thigh. Disappointment rushes along every cell in my body as he steps away from me.
Chapter Ten

Completely confused about why saying Ethan's name is a total turn off for him, I slide my skirt down my hips and reach down for the scrap piece of pink lace that used to be my thong. After avoiding eye contact for a couple of moments, I glance up at him, noticing that he is watching my every move. Physically, he's only a couple of feet away from me, but in his mind, I think it's probably in the room where he left his girlfriend. Whatever his problem is I don't need to understand it, I just need to leave.

"Don't," he commands as I reach for the doorknob.

Before I can turn around, Blues presses his heated body against my back, one hand landing on my right hip and the other reaching up, moving away the hair draping over my left shoulder.

"I need you," he begs, placing soft, warm kisses along my hair line at the back of my neck. His hard cock pushes against my backside and I press back onto it instinctively. Fingers tickle down my ribs slowly. Both hands move to the zipper on the top of my skirt and then they still against my back. "Tell me to stop, or I'm going to fuck you against the goddamn door, Angel."

Feeling surprised that a man in his position would give a damn about someone's willingness to participate in anything, I drop my hands from the door and yank the hindering zipper down for him. I hear the sound of a wrapper being ripped open and then notice his jeans drop to the floor, pooling next to my skirt. After slipping on a condom, he moves his legs between mine quickly and then wraps his left arm around my waist. With ease, Blues raises my body off the floor, and then steps back enough to tilt my chest against the door, drawing my ass back against him. He presses the pulsing head of his dick right into the center of me and then pauses.

"Tell me you want this," he growls deep. His mouth brushing against my neck sends shivers down my spine and my center clenches tightly begging for him to thrust hard into me, but I pause too.

"No, I don't want it," I reply, shaking my head. "I _need_ you to fuck me...hard."

Blues pushes so fast and hard into me I feel a scream ripping from my chest, but his hand swiftly covers my mouth preventing the noise from leaving this room. He drops it to my side and pumps into me twice before stopping. His fingers piercing the flesh on either side of my hips slide up my ribs and move to cup my swollen breasts.

"Fuck, you're clenching the hell out of my dick," he moans, reaching up for my chin and turning it so he can kiss me. My manicured fingernails scrape against the wooden door needing something...anything solid to hold onto. He grinds his hips forcing his erection deeper into me and I can feel that I'm about two seconds away from climaxing. His filthy mouth, our chosen position, and the thoughts of getting caught, have my body so wound up, I don't think I can hold off much longer.

"I need..." I moan softly while pushing down against him.

Blues wraps both arms around me and pulls my body off the door. Still tightly joined together, he spins around, carrying me a few feet over to the large four-poster bed. He lays me face down gently while kicking off his shoes and the jeans that are bunching around his ankles.

"Tell me what you need," he urges, thrusting once slowly into my wet center. "Do you want to come, Sweetness?"

"No," I groan loudly, my face buried into the thick comforter. I absolutely more than want to come, I need it badly.

Blues pounds into me twice and my world begins to split apart from the need to come before he stills again and asks, "Do you want to come now?" _Fucking torture_!

I shake my head passionately and groan out another no. He withdraws from me and flips me over, tossing me like I weigh nothing into the center of the bed. He snatches his shirt off then climbs on with me. Neon color glowing from a charging station and clock sitting on the nightstand are the only lighting in the otherwise pitch black room. I don't need to see Blues' nude to know that he is an art sculptor's wet dream. I can tell through the tailored clothing he's wearing that he works hard on his physique. To most women a man like Blues would intimidate them with his amazing body, but I also work my body until it is dead in the gym. Still, Blues is way different than just your average muscle-head so a little bit of apprehension is justifiable. I crawl backward a few inches, but he grabs my ankle and stops me.

"Where do you think you're going?"

He edges all the way up my body, sinks between my legs and brings his face up. My hands reach for him greedily. I run my fingers through his hair and guide his mouth down to mine. Blues kisses me so sweetly and slowly, something happens at this exact moment, I feel a strange lurching deep inside my chest. It's an odd sensation. I can't really put my finger on it, but when I open my eyes again, finding him staring at me I feel it a second time. He pulls his lips away from me, but not his eyes.

"Angel," he whispers, bringing his right hand up to my face and digging his fingers into my hair. Tilting my head back he kisses me softly again. A snapping sound, like a rubber band stretched too tightly on a mechanical device is released and one rapid fire shot echoes in my mind alerting me that this is wrong and must stop.

Stroking his thumb over my bottom lip Blues states, "God, you are perfect."

"No," I hiss back. Anger rises in my stomach replacing the near euphoric state he had me in only moments before, causing me to growl when I demand, "Fuck me."

Wordlessly, with both hands framing my face and his eyes latched onto mine, he forces his cock fully into me. I slam my arms down on the bed, wrap my legs around his waist, drawing him in deeper and he growls as I thrust upward. Breaking eye contact finally, his eyes roll back behind his closed lids and he bites down hard on his lip, suppressing another loud moan the best he can. His rhythm is chaotic. There is no more taunting with the driving force that Blues is fucking me with now, and that's the way I need it.

"Fuck baby, I'm close," he groans, dropping his head and laying it against my chest. Sliding both arms underneath mine, he runs his hands under my back and grips them over the top of my shoulders. The force of him pulling me down to him while diving over and over into me surges my build up from a flicker to catastrophic, and within seconds I explode into ruins.

"Yes, yes..." I groan through my shattering.

Blues covers my mouth with his, stealing away the last of my moans. Forcing himself down into me once more, he reaches his own disaster and growls his pleased state against my lips. Holding onto me tightly, Blues lowers his face into my hair and pants raggedly.

"Goddamn Baby, that was so good."

My hands snake around his shoulders and I wrap my arms around his neck, securely holding onto the last moments I have with him. That freaking unfamiliar feeling nuzzles its way back into my chest and this time I can tell that it's in the vicinity of my heart.

_Time to go_! I release the death grip my legs have on his waist and push against his shoulders so that I can shift out from underneath him. Scooting off the edge of the bed, I find my skirt and rush into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Within two minutes I am back to looking like I did upon arriving at Blues' house, all except for the rose color blossoming along my neck and chest from my orgasm. Allowing myself a little time for the tell-tale sign to go away, I stare into the mirror and frown at what I've permitted. _Idiot!_

This was a mistake of epic proportions. Fucking Blues jeopardizes this whole damn mission and I honestly can't believe that I gave into him so easily. One night stands are cool, but this one could possibly be the worst, forcing me to do the ultimate walk of shame, all the way up to my Captain's office. A soft knock on the door draws me away from my perils and I reach for the doorknob. Hesitating briefly, part of me hopes that Blues left and it's Natalie looking for me, but the other part, the masochist in me, wishes that it is Blues' standing on the other side. Either way I'll be disappointed. I pull open the door and get my hopes dash, finding Blues glowering as he leans against the door frame.

He reaches down, taking my hand into his while his other hand snakes around my neck, and I cling to his rumpled shirt. Dipping down, his lips move slowly over mine, sipping and teasing over and over. It's another one of those slow kisses, and this time I break the trance that he was pulling me into with its sweetness.

"Angel," Blues warns. Unlike all the other times before his storm filled eyes don't look into mine, instead he fixates on my lips. He inhales a long breath, releases it and then growls low, "Get the fuck out of my world."
Chapter Eleven

July

I wake up hearing my cell chime, indicating I have a text message. Rolling over to my side, I reach up and grab my phone. Natalie is inviting me and Rad over for a pre-fourth of July dinner tonight, but I decline her request. Today I'm picking up Kris for our 'Girls Day Out' festivities. After replying to the text message, I jump into a scalding hot shower and then afterward force down breakfast hoping to drive away the nausea.

Since the night of Decks' birthday celebration my stomach has been completely messed up. I haven't changed my eating habits and thankfully I got my period. Even using double protection in the form of his condom and my birth control pills it's unlikely that I could get pregnant, but I took a test just to make sure. Five EPT'S confirmed that I am not with child. _Thank fuck for that blessing_!

"Hello?" I shout, walking through the front door and dumping my purse on the table in the front foyer inside my house. I'm not supposed to come inside, so I have to rush Kris' ass along, but man I just need a minute inside my happy place to regain some serenity. I close my eyes, absorb the stillness and sigh.

"Sam?" Kris yells back, rushing down the stairs. "Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you."

She grabs me, wraps both arms around my neck, and begins jumping up and down like a crazy woman. I laugh uncontrollably at her silliness, but I feel the same way about being away from her for so long. Stepping back, she holds my hands out away from my body as she scans over me.

"You're too thin. What's wrong?" Nurse Kris makes her appearance. Knowing me too well, she can tell that I haven't been taking proper care of myself.

"Nothing is wrong," I argue, shrugging out of her hold and wandering into the living room. Seeing the fire and determination in her eyes to get down to the bottom of my issues, I say, "Other than this job is taking forever, and I miss you like crazy."

"Samantha Marcel Walker, you are telling one. Now spill or we're skipping the girl's day, fun day activities."

Shaking my head, I challenge, "I'll leave your ass here alone if I have to, but I'm going to Birmingham. My car leaves in," Pausing for effects, I look down at my wrist to gauge the time, but since I'm not wearing a watch I smirk and say, "Five minutes sister! Grab your shit and let's go!"

Kris huffs wanting to argue, but moves her ass and we are on the interstate heading toward Birmingham in my Camaro, which I haven't driven since this case began. Luckily and quiet easily, I get Kris talking about her job and a new guy that she met at a nursing conference in Charlotte, and she completely forgets that she wanted to ask about what's bothering me.

"So, is it love?" I ask sitting in the booth across from Kris watching the blush edging up her neck as she begins telling me about the amazing Tate Sylvester.

She smirks then drops her eyes to the leftover slice of pizza lying on her plate, trying to hide her joy. "I don't know Sam. We've only just met. Do you really think anyone falls in love that fast?"

Chewing on my final slice of heaven on earth, I bob my head up and down then say, "No. That's just bullshit that romance writers feed the masses." Suddenly, my protective instincts kick in, but I keep them in check because I don't want her cynical about love the way I am. "Is that what's happening here? Was it love at first sight?"

I watch her expression shift from worried to happy as she recounts the day that she met Tate and all of their fantastic dates. The sparkle in her eyes tells me that she is most definitely teetering on the falling in love side of the relationship seesaw. A weight begins to lift from my chest. I'm happy Kris found someone. She devotes every minute of her life to working hard so that she can help pay her half of the bills. It makes me sick knowing that she doesn't have to do it. I make more than enough money to cover expenses for the entire house, but she was adamant about keeping everything fair when we moved in. The woman is as stubborn as a mule.

"Are you done?" she asks, placing her napkin on her now empty plate.

I nod and we make our way through the crowd congregating at the front door of Davenport's Pizza. We reach my car in the back parking lot before she launches her attack.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on with you? We can't spend the whole day talking about me." She smiles proudly for directing our conversation back to me as she sits down in the passenger seat.

"Kris, I'm fine. Everything is fine," I sigh starting the car and blasting the air conditioning so that we can get some relief from the blazing heat. Seeing her eyebrows pinch together, I know that she won't relent so I toss her a bone. "Fine, I haven't been feeling well for the past couple of weeks, but it's probably just stress."

"Stress?" she places a hand on my arm and with a tremble in her voice, she asks, "why are you stressed Sam? Has something happened? Can Russ do anything to help?"

She means well, I know she does, but Kris doesn't have any idea about the shit that really happens in my line of work. She's an innocent, completely pure of all the damn hell that runs rampant in my tarnished world, and I plan on keeping her shielded. Never will I expose Kris to the murkiness and filth, and I vow to kill the bastard that ever does.

"Kris, you know I can't talk about specifics." She nods and a frown plays on her lips. "But..."

"What?" I don't answer immediately and she begins to whine, "Oh, damn Sam give me something. A crumb, please!"

Her eyes are begging and the smile on her face is so sweet forcing me to bend my rule. Kris is the kindest person I know and it's only out of concern for her that I keep most things to myself. I just can't stand the thought of someone tainting her, especially me. But when she looks at me this way, how can I refuse my best friend anything?

"Alright, you win. I am apparently boosting Russ' game inside." I smile proudly, and she twists in her seat, fully facing me. "Before I came on board, he wasn't involved with the higher ranks like he is now. He credits me, but I doubt it's that simple."

"Hmm, so these higher ranks?" She pauses, slipping into deep thought before saying, "I'm just trying to work this out in my head. You have ranking officers in the drug world, right?" I nod, wishing now that I hadn't said anything at all about my job. "Okay so if Russ isn't in the ranks then he's what? Like some sort of enlisted, like in the military? And if so does that mean he has to do things that wouldn't be considered everybody's favorite job?" She pauses again staring straight at me, but I don't respond. "Sam, does that mean you have to..." Her eyes flick down looking at her folded hands lying on her lap.

I laugh softly and reassure her, "Kris, I don't have to do anything. Everything is fairly laid back." Her eyes lift up meeting mine again, but her eyebrows are still pulled together tightly. "Seriously honey, I went out to a club a few times and I get to work in a tattoo parlor." I roll my wrist around and show her the new ink I got last month. Those two tidbits of information encourage her, so I keep telling her about the good stuff, what little there is, I've experienced over the past seven months. For the next fifteen minutes, I allow her to slip into my forbidden world and she is glowing from it.

"Yeah, I can see how you could get so stressed out. Um, lifestyle of the rich and famous called and said they want _their_ life back." Kris giggles and finally the heaviness I was feeling earlier wanes away with each of her tiny shoulder bounces.

Her green eyes sparkle with flecks of yellow again confirming that we're okay. "Sam," Still smiling, Kris grabs my hand flips it so that it's palm up and she places hers over it. "I love you. Thank you for sharing with me. Promise, that when things are bothering you that you will share something, anything with someone, but not just anyone. Share with someone who you truly care about. One, only people who care about you will actually listen. Two, it's not healthy to hold these things in too long." She offers me a heavy sigh mixed with a smirk and I know that whatever she is about to reveal after all of that wisdom will most likely be crap. "And three, if you do keep it in too long someone could get hurt when your head explodes."

Kris chuckle-snorts and I punch her arm. "Oh, shoot, I can't forget the most important point. Four is you _need_ sex." I freeze staring at her, but barely hear the words still rolling out of her mouth. _Shit_. She grins foolishly and I swallow hard. "It will make you feel one hundred percent better, Sweets." She narrows her eyes on me, glances down at our hands feeling the dampness pooling in my palms. "What? What's wrong?" Then it hits her. "Oh my god you had sex!" Kris shouts, jarring me out of my ice cube state of mind.

"What?" I shake my head, "No!"

"Sam?"

"I said, no."

"You're full of it."

"Whatever."

"Sam..."

"Kris..."

"I'll just keep going on and on about it until you finally relent and tell me everything, or we can just cut the long, drawn out process now and you can tell me the juicy details now. Either way it's up to you. So what is it going to be, huh? Are you going to tell me who he is...?" Pausing, she twists around in her seat, and looks out the front window while her smile continues growing, "Never mind."

"What?" Something is fishy. Kris never gives up, like _ever_.

"Oh, nothing," she glances back at me, "I'm going to let it go."

"Bullshit, you never let it go. What gives?"

She shrugs. "I'm just not going to push you. So this is me, letting it go."

I nod unconsciously and she just turns away, looking out the damn window with that damn knowing smile plastered on her face. _Fuck she's going to ask Russ._
**Chapter** **Twelve**

September

"Finally," I groan blissfully slipping under the thick, foaming bubbles skimming on top of the hot tub nestled against the wall on the back patio. Russ opens the sliding glass door and pokes his head out spotting me getting comfy.

"Don't fall asleep." He smirks knowingly and then reminds me, "It may be a few hours before I get back."

"I'm good," I moan happily, saluting him with my glass and then sipping my whiskey. "Be sure to lock the front door when you leave. Oh, and say hello to that prick for me."

He chuckles. "The Captain will get a kick out of that one." He closes the door and I drop my head back against the edge of the tub, feeling the tension ebbing away with each stream of hot water jetting out against my sore muscles.

This morning Russ and I slipped off to the training center and took in a F.A.T.S course, Fire Arms Training Simulator. After running through several shooting scenarios, my dumb ass decided to take a pounding from our on-site martial arts instructor and now I'm paying the price with a fat lip and some bruised ribs. Chilling for an hour or so in the tub will work out most of the soreness. Hopefully the ice pack I held to my mouth for thirty minutes earlier will help reduce some of the swelling.

After the week I've had with the trap house getting busted, and the police arresting Murph and Wise for distribution charges, and then seizing the house, leaving Momma in the incapable hands of Department of Human Resources, I decided that a night off alone is exactly what I need. Losing the house puts a damper on our case, but it's only temporary because Decks promises that he's actively working on relocating our crew. However, with the two guys indisposed for the time being, we are forced into a small hiatus.

Seizing the opportunity of my short break, I contacted a health care facility yesterday and had Momma moved into one of their small apartments. I had my attorney set up a trust so that her expenses would be taken care anonymously. I may be a hardcore bitch on the outside, but inside I'm the respectful young woman my Gran raised me to be, and I believe in taking care of those who deserve help. Momma's heart was broken when the county took away the only thing she had left in this world after losing her husband five years ago. After spending so much time getting to know the sweet woman and her treating me better than my own mother ever has, I just couldn't stomach the idea of her being in a rat infested HUD home.

Scrolling through the radio channels on the attached stereo, I find one playing some Miles Davis and crank it up. I fetch my tumbler and close my eyes again absorbing the warm sounds, drink and water. Bobbing my head, I relax as the trumpets and snare soothes my mind of all the monotonous bullshit and I sink deeper into the roaring bubbles. Early autumn temps can get cool in north Georgia at night; rolling, scalding hot water is smashing on this one.

"That's an interesting song choice," a deep sophisticated voice rumbles in the night air, scaring me out of my serene state. Instinctively, I reach for my gun, but stop when I recognize the figure appearing out of the shadows along the edge of the house, invading my private retreat.

"What the hell are you doing?" I snap frustratingly as I thrust forward, switching off the blaring music. My quick movements force a large gush of water over the rim of the tub, soaking the intruder's expensive leather loafers and I can't stop my pleased smile. A devilish grin spreads across Blues' face when he looks up from the waterlogged shoes.

"Oh, I'm enjoying the sights and _sounds_ on this cool September evening. "All Blues," by Miles Davis? Nice selection and I am flattered that you're still thinking about me." I refuse to be drawn into that lame attempt at provoking me.

Grabbing my towel, I stand and wrap it around before slipping over the edge of the tub. Truthfully, I am pissed that he knows the name of the damn song, and wouldn't you know it has _his_ freaking name in it. I stifle the vulgarity popping off like fireworks on New Year's Eve in my head, pulling an indifferent half-ass smile.

"Why are you here?" Getting out of the warm water and covering my nearly naked body from so I could block his smoldering eyes seemed like a good idea when I hatched it, but the cool temperature blast has me reconsidering that harebrain plan. My skin prickles instantly with chill bumps, or at least I think it's from the cold. I rub my hands over my arms, warding them off. Blues notices and inches closer. "And why didn't you use the front door like a proper gentleman?" I ask, feeling vulnerable about him skulking around our backyard at nine o'clock at night.

He stops a few feet in front of me, smelling warm and woodsy, and looking damn sexy as hell in his black business suit and crisp white shirt. Blues wearing casual clothes is a challenge to my sanity, but seeing him dressed in tailored Armani will be the death of me. I nibble on my bottom lip anxiously. Smiling roguishly and shoving his hands into his front pants pockets, he leans against the white patio column, completely comfortable with invading my sanctuary. _Damn this infuriating man_.

"I rang the doorbell twice. When no one answered I started for my car, but then I heard the music coming from back here. So I decided to let myself in through the side gate." Frustrated by his ease of doing whatever he damn well pleases, my eyebrows draw in and my attitude can no longer be contained.

"I should call the cops and report that an intruder just broke into my house," I hiss, standing firmly in place, when all I really want to do is rush forward, wrap myself around his incredible body and then rub against him like a kitten. My body is no longer my own. Heat flares deep within my core and I moved several steps toward him without even realizing it.

"Ah, but this isn't your house. Now is it?" Something dark moves through his facial features and I can't quite classify the look, but it causes me to settle down a bit.

"Rad isn't here and I don't know when to expect him back. I think you need to leave Mr. Sloane."

Strolling tentatively toward me, Blues lifts his hand to my face and I see annoyance beginning to roll like destructive waves through his dark ocean blue eyes. "Did he do this to you?" he growls, gliding his thumb over the sensitive spot on my lip.

I fight like hell, and somehow force my mind to remain completely in control even though my body is a traitorous bitch. Weakly, I clutch my hand around his, moving it away from my mouth while taking a small step backward. Feeling a little lightheaded, I sway and reach across for the hot tub. In doing so, my towel drops to the ground so I bend down to pick it up, but I move a little too fast. Sharp pains stab my right side and I wince.

"What the fuck?" Blues growls, grabbing my arm gently. He lifts it and discovers a football shaped bruise running down my ribcage. I took a big boot to the side when I lost balance during my workout. That's something he'll never know about. I jerk away from him and cinch my towel tighter this time.

"I will kill that little bastard," he grumbles in a menacing and absolute tone.

Blues reaches out and touches me again, placing his large hands around my forearms before sliding them up to my neck tenderly. He tilts my head back so that I'm looking directly into his eyes, now soften with concern for me. Stroking both thumbs over my jaw, he just stands here staring. The buzzing feeling his loving caress sends through my body threatens to weaken my resistance. What the hell is he thinking? Is he remembering our one night together over four months ago too? _Shit_. What the hell am I thinking? Having sex with him once was bad enough I cannot allow it to happen again. Ever.

"No, Rad didn't touch me." Completely uncertain of his reaction to my excuse, I stare harshly and offer, "I fell."

"Angel," he growls a warning, "Don't lie to me." Pushing away his hostility, he looks longingly at me and a shiver soars from my feet all the way up to my hair and he feels it too. I sigh at my lack of self-control when around him.

Softly placing my fingertips over my lips before answering him, I whisper, "Please. It's none of your business." Stepping out of his grasp and moving to put a lounge chair between us, I tighten the towel around my body before asking, "Are you going to tell me why you are here so late?"

He continues to stare at me, his eyes appearing to hold some amount of sympathy while battling against something else altogether, something I can't quiet identify. _Because you don't know him_. An overwhelming feeling of foreboding sinks into my chest. He shouldn't be here and I shouldn't want him here. I can tell that he wants to push the issue of my bruising, but thankfully he doesn't. Between two blinks, the enchantment-spell is suddenly broken and Blues' disturbed attitude morphs at nearly light speed to all formal.

"I won't keep you out here in the cold. Please have Rad call me," he insists sharply, reaching into his breast pocket, retrieving a business card and then handing it over to me. "I have a delicate matter that requires immediate attention. Seeing that my other guys are all _indisposed,_ I need for him to handle it." _This is it!_ Russ is getting bumped to transporter.

Biting back my excitement, I close my hands around the card, careful not to make contact with any part of him, and then give him a tiny head nod. Shifting my eyes toward the patio doors leading into the house, I am weirdly apprehensive about escorting him inside and toward the front door. I'm not sure if it's because the guy is bad news and welcoming him inside sets my nerves on edge, or if it's the fact that we'd be all alone, away from prying eyes, and I might just take advantage of it. _Don't risk it_. Apparently sensing my internal battle, Blues decides for me. He steps backward, angling his body around and facing the direction which he came.

"I'll let myself back out the way I entered. Good night Angel." Without a backwards glance, he steps around the corner of the house and I release a heavy breath.

Securing the towel around me once again, I notice that my hands are trembling. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I pick up my drink and down it.

My body responds to Blues like he is mine. _Why?_ I don't want him. Yes, I needed him _once_ , but I'll never want him. In this world there is no room for secret love affairs between cops and criminals. For the first time since starting this job I actually wish Blues wouldn't have gone to the dark side.
**Chapter** **Thirteen**

"Are you okay honey?" Natalie asks, topping off my wine, _again_. I take the large goblet and gulp before answering her question. I need an extra minute since I'm still in shock and uncertain of what to say, or do.

Eyes locked on the stem of my glass, I force away my anxiety and confess, "I'm not sure what to do now. I gave up my place when I moved in with Rad, and I don't have family." I sigh. "With my job at the TatHouse only being part-time, I can't afford to keep his place now that he's gone." Glancing up, I notice her forehead crinkling with worry. "Damn, all of this is totally messed up, Natalie." Nodding she sips on her red wine silently, watching the little, barefoot princess standing in the middle of the backyard, spinning around slowly, and dancing circles around her older brother, who ignores her while he sets up a model rocket launcher with his dad.

Last night Russ picked up a shipment from a supplier at a warehouse near the Texas coastline. Since it was the first exciting thing to come up after the trap house was shutdown, I was going to ride with him, all behind the group's backs of course. However, at the last minute, my boss called me into work saying that our head artist called out sick, and a new client was paying cash upfront for a full back tattoo. Russ assured me that it would look better if I didn't go with him. Knowing that he was right, I didn't even argue about it.

And it's a good thing too.

After swapping keys with his contact in a Texas Wal-mart parking lot and picking up a newer model Chevy Suburban, he crossed the Georgia state line just before four in the morning. The interstate is usually a ghost town at that hour making it the best time to transport illegal narcotics. Unfortunately, the state police had the eastbound traffic stopped, checking driver's licenses, leaving Russ with no option but to allow the search. One rookie trooper, itching for his first big bust demanded that he open the back of the truck. Needless to say, Russ couldn't expose his cover. In a flash he was cuffed and tossed into the back of a patrol car. Nearly every adjoining police agency and local news media swooped in for a piece of what they're now calling the bust of the decade.

"Hey Angel," Wise calls from across the yard, "Can you stay for dinner tonight?"

I glance at Natalie who has a huge smile plastered on her face while bobbing her head up and down. Offering a small smile in return, I nod to Wise, hoping that dinner with the Kingston family will lead to something better than what I'm currently stuck with. Russ being locked up indefinitely means I've lost my X'kapz all-access-pass. If my gut is right, Wise will make me an offer I won't refuse.

We sit outside watching the sun go down and then after gathering up their kiddos we enjoy a nice dinner around the dining room table. Wise and Natalie have a sweet family rapport with their two children. They laugh, hug and talk about what they want Santa Claus to bring them and I feel the carefree smile tugging up my lips. It's really sweet and makes me wish that my parents would have been as interested in me and my brothers, while we were growing up.

"I'm taking Simone upstairs to get her ready for bed," Natalie says to Wise, clutching a chubby hand, bedazzled with pink polish and tiny rhinestones. "Dean finished his homework earlier, earning thirty minutes of free time on the Playstation. Make sure he doesn't go one minute over if I'm not back down."

Wise smiles adoringly, places a sloppy kiss on his daughters cheek and then says, "Yes, Sweetheart." They have such an amazing relationship. Natalie is a lucky woman; he's a good husband and an active father. Too bad more men can't adore their families like Wise does.

"Good night, Empress Angel," Simone squeaks through a big yawn.

"Good night Princess Simone." I bow playfully at her highness.

"I'm done," Dean tells his Wise, sucking down a large glass of sweet tea. "Are you going to play with me, Dad?"

"Get the game set up, son, and I'll join you in a few minutes," Wise suggests, standing and striding out the back door. He turns toward me and asks, "Walk with me?" I nod, following him outside where he lights up a cigarette. He offers me one, but I turn it down. "That is some shitty hand your boyfriend got dealt."

"Yeah," I say meekly, averting my eyes and feigning sadness.

I'm not really worried about Russ. In a couple of days, the DA's office will receive information about his involvement on our case and then present everything to the judge. They will arrange to get him out, but it must all be done covertly. The X'kapz must believe that he is being held until his court date, which means he's off the case, and that totally sucks.

"I really like Rad, he's a good guy. I spoke with him this morning and he's really worried about you," he states before pulling a long draw of smoke from his cigarette, "He told me about your family." My eyes lift up to look directly at him, but I don't respond. "Now don't be mad at him, he only told me out of concern. I understand that you're too proud to ask for any kind of help, but Nat and I talked earlier about what happened and where all this leaves you. My little lady likes you Angel and she doesn't like the idea of you living over there alone until Rad gets out. She," Wise corrects himself. "...we would like for you to stay with us until he makes bail."

"Oh, that is a really generous offer, but you don't have to do that." I say, thanking the heavens for answering my earlier prayer. This could work out nicely, although it's not a direct line inside, it is better than absolutely nothing, which is exactly where I sit at the moment.

"No, I don't have to." His look is cautious as he continues. "Listen, you're a cool chick and my wife wants you here, so I want you here." He smiles a little before crushing out his smoke. "Actually, you moving in could help me out, too. Nat's been a little antsy lately and I would feel better if she had another woman to talk to about whatever it is that's making her that way."

"Of course," I smile brightly. "Thank you so much, Wise. This really means a lot to me. And don't worry about Natalie. I guarantee after a little retail therapy with me she will feel like a new woman." I wink before spinning around and heading back inside.

"Oh, damn girl," Wise groans and I stop walking to face him again. "Nat hasn't gone on a shopping trip since before her little sister got married back in the spring. You're going to reawaken a monster that may never be reigned in again." I beam proudly and He laughs. "Will ya just do me one favor? While she's wielding my credit cards around like a ninja in battle remind her that she'll need to go easy. I have plans for us in February involving a kid-free trip to New Orleans to watch the Super Bowl live."

"Hey," Holding up my hands and shaking my head, I counter playfully, "Out of devotion to my gender, I cannot in good conscience make a promise like that while fabulous shoes and purses are on the line calling our names. However, I can promise to chant 'kid free trip' sporadically while we rummage through ultra-lux leather straps and pointy heels." I smirk and Wise rolls his eyes.

Accepting my adjustment to his request, he holds out a hand, which I accept happily and he offers a wimpy reply, "Deal."

Well, that actually worked out pretty well. Now, if I can manage to talk Decks into letting me join in on the action once a new site is chosen, I might still have a chance on shutting his drug club down. That may sound harsh after Wise's sympathy toward me, but the way he gets the money to pay for his wife's happiness is my driving force to stopping this madness. No amount of goodness and kindness is worth drugs being on the streets.
Chapter Fourteen

It all happens just as I knew it would. The following week I make my trip down to the county jail for my first visit with Rad and discover that according to the paperwork he is still in lock up. Truthfully he was moved to a safe house the morning after his arrest. Luckily for our case, the guys in our not-so-tight group wouldn't risk coming to see him. Honestly Russ and I know that neither of us is that important to them or their organization.

After I check in with the desk Sergeant, he escorts me back into one of the small, drab and secluded visitation rooms, usually reserved for attorneys and chaplains. Our time together lasts only thirty minutes each week and I've been sitting here for about fifteen, bored out of my mind and my poor right hand is completely bare of any measure of fingernails. The slide of a heavy bolt startles me and I let out a string of cuss words when Captain Reebals walks through the door, closing and locking it after he enters. My instincts scream at me that I'm not going to like anything he needs to tell me.

"How are you, Sam?" He asks cordially, sitting in the empty chair beside me. There isn't a table in the room, only a counter that has a bullet proof glass petition meant to separate me from Russ, and a small vent for us to speak through, if we were to get a real visit.

"I'm alright." Stunned that my captain made a special trip down to the jail to see me, I ask hesitantly, "Is something wrong Captain?"

Captain Weston Reebals is a genuine old school cop. He earned his bars the right way, working on every level in the department for twenty years and then last year he finally landed his dream job. He's a nice looking guy, with light brown hair and a sprinkling of gray. And he has the clearest green eyes, encased with thick lashes and dark rimmed glasses. He's a true gentleman, but that doesn't stop him from keeping my ass in line when I start going rogue on him. One thing to keep in mind about Captain Reebals, he is _never_ , _ever_ overdramatic.

He shifts in his seat and lets out a heavy breath before leaning back and crossing his arms. "Sam, I got a call from the district attorney's office this morning," he states guardedly like I might explode on impact to whatever news he has for me.

"Okay..." He stares at me for another moment and that's when I see the concerned sunk deep in his eyes. "Did something happen involving our case that I'm not aware of?" I ask seriously, but then throw in a little sarcasm to mess with him. "Or are you going to report back to me every time you speak with D.A. Cecena? You know, I think she has a thing for older guys." I wink and his jaw drops open. "What? You're a free man now, and even though she and I can't be in a room for more than one minute before we go for the other's jugular, I think someone like you could wrangle the barracuda. Besides, my beef with her is professional. I'm sure she's a great woman away from the courthouse."

"Are you finished?" he asks exasperatingly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He pierces me with a glare and threads his fingers together, waiting for my answer and daring me to be insubordinate.

"Almost," I pause, tapping my finger on my chin, but before I can come up with something cheeky he cuts me off.

"Sam, Mark Hatfield was released."

I flinch away from him like his words literally just reached out and struck me across the face. Irritation and repulsion rolls my stomach. I can't remember a time that I could've been more pissed off than I am at this very moment. Drawing from all the years of forced compliance under my father's thumb, I chew on hundreds of vile comments. Finally, I can't take sitting another second so I bolt up to stand and pace as much as allowed inside this port-a-potty size room for a good solid minute before I yell, "Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell...?" I stop right in front of him and with a tone too damn inappropriate for my superior, I demand, "Don't tell me that the fucking D.A.'s office agreed to bail!"

Shaking his head and holding his hands up to calm me, he says incredulously, "Sam, it was three million dollars. He's a fucking petty ante pusher. Not even the judge expected someone to post his damn bond."

"Who did it?" I growl angrily, needing the name so I will be sure to seek out and punish that fucker for all the hell Mad Hatter is sure to rain down now that he's back on the streets.

"It was anonymous," he mumbles. I narrow my eyes, glaring at him and waiting for him to clarify that answer. "Well, not completely anonymous."

"Good, who was it Captain?"

"Sam, sit down," he points at my vacant chair with a spark in his eyes that dares me to defy his authority. "There is much to discuss."

"Fine," I growl, "but you're telling me the goddamn name." Stomping the whole two steps over to my seat, I slam my body into it and glare back up at him.

Captain Reebals calmly leans against the closed door. "His benefactor is Dr. A."

Prior to him saying it, I was so angry, my entire body was wound up tight like a cobra ready to strike, and my jaw was clenching down painfully. Just hearing the name of the world famous ghost drug lord causes spit to fly out of my mouth when a roar of laughter burst from my chest. From the uncontrollable laughing, I get a severe case of hiccups, and nearly pee my pants.

Finally getting control over my breathing, I chuckle-snort one last time and ask, "Is the county magistrate accepting checks from ghosts now?"

He grins. "No, of course not, Douglas Welcher is representing Hatfield's backer."

"Welcher?" My jaw drops to the floor and I mutter, "As in Welcher and Zahn, from New York?" These world renowned attorneys are on my family's payroll also, and Doug is a close family friend.

"The very same," he nods, "Unfortunately, we can't reach all the way to New York so it's unlikely that we'll get any more information about the puppet master behind the Wall Street suits." After scrubbing my hands over my face, I drop them between my thighs, lower my head and stare at the floor. Nothing about this whole scenario adds up.

"Why help Mad Hatter, Captain? It's not like he's well liked. Most of the pushers on the streets cut off his line of credit before his arrest which caused him to start dabbling in child labor, and _none_ of the big wigs in the southeast will give him the time of day." I lift my gaze to meet his wordlessly pleading for answers.

"We don't know the answers yet." His voice lowers when he adds, "Hatfield was only in for a short time, which means he will be searching for a no-cost hook up soon. Part of his bond agreement forbids him from leaving this county. He didn't make you, Sam, but he asked a lot of question inside your last group. Fortunately, the guy he chose to drill was an undercover who steered him off of your trail, but if you come up against him again –."

"I got it," I cut him off, rising out of my chair. " _Angel_ doesn't look anything like my last assignment so I should be in the clear."

"Angel?" he asks, eyes narrowed in on me completely clueless.

"Yeah, Angel," I smile mischievously watching the confusion zip around in his green eyes.

"But that's not the name I chose," he admits. Watching the wicked smirk blossom across my face, he realizes that he just confessed to a near crazed woman, who he is currently locked in a room with, that he's the responsible party for giving her a cover name synonymous for the male genitalia. He breathes heavy and warns, "Sam."

"Oh, don't think I will forget that shit either." I threaten, poking him in the chest. He swallows down his nervousness hard as I take a step back feeling proud that his shorts are tied up in a bunch now.

"Shit," he mumbles glancing down at his watch and changing the subject quickly. "Your time is up, but before you go. Here," he holds out a set of keys and paperwork that looks like a car title and bill of sale.

"What's this?" I ask, unfolding the crinkled up sheets.

"A peace offering?" he asks instead of telling me. Giving me one last worrisome glance, before turning to open the door, Captain Reebals offers a two finger salute goodbye and explains, "It's in the basement garage. Just hit the alarm button and you'll find your new ride."

Since I had to leave my car at home when I took this case and Russ is indisposed, I've been depending on Natalie and Wise for transportation. This will definitely make life a lot easier. I hate asking other people for anything. Exiting the elevator on the ground level, I tap the button and a chirp from the right catches my attention. Sitting in the dark corner is the prettiest wild beast I've ever seen. Gloss black with sharp chrome accents glow under the florescent lighting and my heart swells with devoted and unconditional love, admiring my new street bike.

"We're even." I chuckle under my breath, completely giddy for the first time in a long time.
Chapter Fifteen

October

After living with Natalie and Wise a couple of weeks, I'm beginning to earn their trust. Wise is a smart guy, currently working on his PhD in physics, hence the nickname. But even as smart as he is, being a member of one of the most notorious drug cartels in Atlanta makes him a real dumb-ass. I'm completely baffled as to why he chooses to deal in drugs for a living when the little shit could be working for NASA or Donald Trump. But if I'm being honest, education doesn't really factor into the downward spiral this country is spinning in when it comes to narcotics, legal and illegal alike. Celebrities get busted and/or die every day, just as much as the more common blue collar worker because of their addictions. Bless her heart Natalie appears completely in the dark about his degenerative employment too. Some days I wish I could just grab her by the shoulders and shake her senseless. Then maybe she would open her eyes and see the truth.

"Hey hotness," Decks purrs, prowling over to the edge of the swimming pool, where I'm currently laying face down on a float, soaking up the sun on this unusually hot October day in Georgia. It's been a weekend of record breaking temperatures across the southeast.

Knowing he is completely checking out my ass, I flip over and confirm my hunch when I see his eyes flash with burning desire as they snake over my exposed flesh. I slip off the float and glide through the water toward the steps. He continues around the side meeting me at my lounge chair. Holding out a towel, spread wide in his arms, he looks pleased. A little too pleased.

"I came by to see you," he says matter-of-factly.

"Really?" I smirk, snatching the towel away from him and drying off quickly, before wrapping my hair up in it. "Why are you looking for me?"

"I spoke with Rad yesterday. He told me that you broke up." He smiles overconfidently like he knows something I don't know. Good luck with that one, Decks old buddy. Lowering his voice he states, "I want you to know that I admire him for that. It takes a real man to realize that it's totally unfair to make a woman like you wait for him."

I fake a heavy, pathetic sigh and correct him, "He broke up with me, but I'm still committed." Grabbing my sunglasses, I slide them on and speedily walk toward the back door knowing that he's hot on my trail. "I happen to disagree with you by the way. It's a real jackass cowardly way out, and I don't believe for a moment that he did it for my sake." I lower my voice and mumble loud enough for him to hear, "He probably has some dumb blonde lined up for his release."

"Angel," Decks calls, grabbing my elbow and stopping me from going inside the house. "I'm sorry. I can tell that you are hurt." He pauses, looks away for a moment then pierces me with a sharp stare before asking, "Would you like to go get some dinner?"

I laugh. "Really, Decks?" I push open the sliding glass door and step into the kitchen with him following. "I tell you that I'm still committed to my boyfriend, who just broke up with me, and you think that it's the green light for your next hook-up?" Without looking at him, I slam my glasses down on the table as I pass it, heading toward the stairs.

"No," he growls reaching for my arm again and spinning me around to face him. "That's not what this is between us, Angel. With you, I'm different. I don't want to get into your bed." I raise an eyebrow suspiciously and he flashes a devilish smile before adding, "Okay, that I do want, but it's not all I want." Thankfully, tiny ears aren't home at the moment, so they can't hear this bullshit.

"What do you want, Decks?" I ask, putting both hands on my hips and looking into his dark eyes, slowly heating with desire again, but this is different from the look he had when glaring at my booty.

Lifting a hand up to my face, he cups my cheek softly and leans in. "Everything," he insists, pressing his lips to mine. He tastes warm and his kisses are extremely tender. I would have never guessed kissing him would be this nice. He moves both hands around my back, drawing my wet body firm against him. I wrap my hands around his waist, gripping his leather belt, snaked around his faded blue jeans. This is the safest place for my hands at the moment. If I touch his side or back he may be encouraged and will want more than I'm willing to give him right now. Getting Decks interested definitely secures a spot for me back in the group, one that is a lot higher up on the ladder too.

Stepping out of his embrace, I warn breathlessly, "Decks."

"Angel, give me a chance. I'll give you all the space you need and promise not to rush us, but I _really_ want you."

Damn, I didn't realize the dude was falling for me.

"Uh, I don't know," I mumble, covering my fingertips over my hot lips and looking toward the stairs. I climb up the first two steps, turn around, finding him looking at me, and not just my ass this time. "Pick me up at eight and make it someplace outrageous." I wink, jogging up the stairs toward the shower while wondering what accepting Decks invitation will do for my future.

After washing and rinsing all of the chlorine down the drain, I stroll into my room and dress quickly. I slip on a loose halter top and my favorite dark wash fitted jeans, along with my gray cowboy boots. My phone rings twice before I reach across the bed and answer it.

"Hello." I singsong, smiling after seeing the screen lit up with my brother's adorable mug.

"Hey Sam," Marcus chuckles and asks, "How are things in Georgia?" I sigh, hearing his southern accent mixed with a bit of English inflection.

"Things are...boring," I offer, not wanting him to worry unnecessarily. "What's up? You don't ever call me anymore. I actually thought that maybe you lost my phone number."

"Yeah, sorry about that," he sighs this time, but before I can ask he says, "I want to talk to you about my civil service exam and physical agility tests. Will you be in Willow for Thanksgiving?"

"Wild hogs couldn't keep me away from Gran's feast and watching football with Granddad," I insist, smiling happily thinking about spending time with my family.

"Great," he says truly happy about my plans. "Don't forget my birthday present."

"Birthday? Shit. Aren't you too old for gifts now?" I joke.

"Hell no," he laughs, "and neither are you if I remember correctly, although most women quit counting after thirty."

"You little shit. I am not thirty!" I shout, still laughing lightly and suddenly feeling the weight of the seriousness from the past few months lifting away.

"Sure, Sam," he continues laughing, "I love you. See you soon."

I clutch the phone tightly after he hangs up, wishing that we didn't have to say goodbye. That's not realistic though because Marcus is at home in England and the door bell just rang, reminding me that I have a date with destiny. I toss everything I need into my Coach Hobo bag and bound down the stairs. Turning the corner, I find Decks waiting patiently for me in the living room. His face lights up like a sparkler on Independence Day while his eyes take in every inch of me appreciatively before sauntering over and placing a tender kiss on my cheek.

"You're absolutely beautiful," he declares, smiling down at me with a look so sexy that it would have any other woman immediately planning her wedding with the charming Mr. Kennedy and naming all five of their future babies. It only freaks me out. "Are you ready Ms. Johnson?"

I snap out of my mild trance and nod. _What the hell have I gotten myself into_?
Chapter Sixteen

"Except for the fact that you are the hottest woman I have ever seen," shaking his head dramatically with his dark brown eyes bugging out in shock, Decks states adamantly, "I have no idea why my sister hates you."

"Shut up," I swat at his arm, lying stretched across the table, "I'm being serious, Decks." Taking hold of my hand, he flips it and lays his hot palm over mine and I pull a fake smile, hoping to convince him that this is okay.

Decks went all out on our date tonight. He brought me to the hottest restaurant in Atlanta. A place like this one normally requires you to make reservations months in advance, but being the nephew of a drug boss will dissolve that issue altogether. He ordered our meal flawlessly in French, and so far, I'm impressed with his ability to be a bloody gentleman. He's really got my curiosity up now. Why is one of the wealthiest men in the city working in a filthy sell house when he lives like a prince away from it?

"God Angel, I'm serious. I haven't seen a woman as beautiful as you in all of my life." He stares at me longingly, making me believe that he really means what he's saying. _Dude is a player who could give my brother Morgan a run for his money_. This is some serious game he is bringing.

"Thank you," I whisper, averting my eyes to the napkin in my lap. Time to put my, "Win Decks Over," plan into action. "Rad was really cool, but..." I trail off hoping that my hook baits him. When I pause, it appears that he's actually holding his breath for a moment.

"But what sweetness?" he asks his voice soft and hoarse.

I lift my eyes staring into his briefly, spotting genuine interest and something else indicating that he's definitely taking a nibble at what I'm offering. Clearing my throat, I run my hand down the back of my head, drawing all of my long hair letting it cascade over my right shoulder. His eyes jump to focus on my throat and he licks his lips.

Hooked

"Well, I don't know if he told you how we, um...met?" he nods slowly, finally lifting his eyes up to meet mine directly.

He swallows several times before responding. "Yeah, about that," his eyebrows draw down and he crosses his arms over his chest, "What kind of fucking prick were you dating before Rad? I mean he put you up in a damn card game for fucks sake." His voice is practically growling ferociously as he continues to sort it out verbally. "Dick seriously didn't know how to treat a lady. I would never risk someone as fine as you for what three hundred bucks? Is that really how much the pot was when Rad went all in?"

"Yes," Giving him a sad nod, I bite down hard on my bottom lip before I lie some more, "honestly, I was happy my ex lost that hand." Pause. "He wasn't nice to me, Decks. Rad took really good care of me, but now he's done." Feeling my heart beat erratically with excitement, I focus everything I have on my fingers and let out a deep breath. "I feel like such an idiot. I know I'm nothing special, but when we were together he made me feel that I was."

"Did you love him?" he tosses out that ridiculous question and it actually feels like I've been slapped across the face.

"Fuck no!" I flinch at that nasty four letter word and then look back at him to see that he is totally serious with this question. Schooling my hasty emotions, I check to make sure no one else witnessed my outburst and then I apologize through a whisper, "Sorry, I mean...Rad and I didn't really have that kind of relationship." I smile suggestively. "If you know what I mean."

"Damn," he mumbles, looking out through the restaurant, like he's searching for our waiter so that he can get our check. _Oh shit_ , I better recover quickly before he thinks I'll go all spread-eagle for just any guy.

"You know what?" I ask and he looks back at me again, eyes overflowing with lust. "I'm glad it's over. I was sick of being used like that. I just need to find a new place to live soon. I _cannot_ keep staying with Natalie and Wise. They're great and all, but kids give me creepy, crawly skin." That's the most honest thing I think I've ever said to him. I shudder for real, thinking about being around children twenty-four-seven, although, that little princess is worming her chubby-cheek cuteness into my heart. _Ugh_ _, what the hell am I thinking?_ My whole way of thinking is being influenced by a toddler.

"Yeah, you don't come across as the motherly type." I shake my head dramatically and he chuckles before becoming concerned again. "What will you do? Does your family live close?"

"No family," I state matter-of-factly. "I was in foster care after my mother abandoned me and she never left information about my father. I turned eighteen and split, didn't look back once. I have a friend that lives in Savannah who I could stay with temporarily." I shrug my shoulders like it's no big deal and take a sip of my drink.

"You know, I could let you stay at my place," he suggests with a near blinding smile.

"Oh," I gasp, feigning shock. "Wow, that...well, that kind of shocks me. You don't seem like the kind of man to help a girl in need. You're more like the one-night-stand-and-never-see-you-again kind of guy."

"Am I really that obvious?" He laughs, turning his glass up and downing the last of the beer and foam in it.

My smile stretches across my lips, and I really pour it on thick. "Yes, but I like that about you. Your games are straight forward. Take what we have for example –" Just like the player that he is, before I can finish he cuts me off with a slick move.

"I would never play games with you babe. There is something special between us."

Seriously, I want to laugh out loud at his ridiculousness. Instead, I jam my fingernails into my palms and give him a sweet agreeable nod. _What an idiot_ _!_ I've already explained how our relationship is and there's no way I would classify it as special, unless you note the fact that no guy has ever hit on me more than Decks. It's like he has a blocker up that deafens him to the words "not a chance," "hell no," or even "fuck off."

"You are the sweetest thing, Decks," I croon sweetly, nearly gagging on the syrupy goop flowing out of my mouth. "You would really let me move in...temporarily?"

"Hell, yes," he demands, reaching across the table and taking my hand in his. "Let's move your shit in tonight."

I laugh for real this time. "After the holiday would be better, I need to break it to Natalie gently. I don't think she will take the news as well as you. Wait..." Starting to rise from his seat, he drops back down and stares at me with kind eyes. "I just realized I've never been to your place. Do you have room for me? I mean, if you don't, I'm sure Nat –"

He cuts me off, "You're moving in." He clutches my hand tenderly and with a smirk curling his lips he adds, "We'll squeeze you in somehow."

After paying the check, Decks escorts me through the restaurant toward the exit with his hand resting at the small of my back. There is a large group waiting for the late dinner seating and he stops to speak with a few of them. Taking advantage of the free moment, I gather my frenzied thoughts on what moving in with Decks is going to do for me. I know for certain he will make passes. He must, it's in his player DNA. He could possibly spontaneously combust and die if he didn't flirt every hour on the hour.

No matter though, I'll deal with it. Although he has a domineering side, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would rape anyone. I'm hoping I can trust my gut on that one, but if he does happen to get a wild hair up his ass, I will just use him as my crash test dummy for karate. Decks is much bigger and brawnier than I am, but I've been practicing martial arts since I was five. Only a skilled master would be a real challenge for me.

"What in the hell are you doing bringing that little floozy here?"

Startled by the sudden outburst in the relatively quiet restaurant, I glance back to where Decks is talking with his friends to find Lourdes snarling at her brother while pointing at me. I smirk inwardly thinking about how shocked the Queen B will be when he tells her his plan to move me in. I'm almost giddy with anticipation.

"Lourdes, I want you to stop talking about Angel like that. She's a good friend of mine and your bitchiness is yesterday's news," Decks orders, admirably defending me from his sister. "You're coming off as jealous and yellow isn't a good color on you." _Yellow?_ I thought the universal color for jealousy was green.

"There is nothing that worthless little thing has..." Lourdes cuts her eyes at me, scanning me once before adding, "or will ever have that would make me jealous of _her_."

_Oh girl if you only knew._ By the way, hell no, I don't feel bad about fucking her man. She is a complete lunatic. I hate cheaters, honestly I do, but I can't really blame Blues for humping the first docile woman who came along. What I don't get is, why me? Really, the man is the sexiest creature I've ever seen, and the way women threw themselves at him at the club proves that he could have done much better. And he sure as hell doesn't have to settle for her skank ass. Maybe it is drug cartel politics mixed with a little favor reimbursement. You know the one, "You fill my crack pipe, I let you screw my niece," the same old song and dance since the fall of man.
Chapter Seventeen

"Let's go Angel." Decks takes my hand, lacing our fingers together and Lourdes' eyes widen in utter shock. Whirling away from her, turning his back on her because of me, we advance out the door completely casual, like being a couple is the most natural thing in the world. We make it a total of two steps away from the restaurant before Decks stops abruptly, leaning in close, his face completely serious when he states, "From this moment on you do not bow down to Lourdes again."

A huge smile breaks across my face as I nod. "Thank you for defending me."

"Always," he replies, placing a tender kiss to my forehead. A shiver runs down my spine. It could be from the blustering air that just unexpectedly whipped up or maybe it's from him being so touchy-feely all of a sudden, but whatever it is, I hope he doesn't notice it and think he's turning me on. I cringe inwardly holding back an encore.

"Hillary?" Decks turns and I glance around him to see Blues strolling away from a blacked out Bentley.

He is dressed in a white long sleeve button down, fitted ultra faded blue jeans and black cowboy boots. His hair is a tousled mess, like he's been running his hand through it repeatedly. Sauntering up to us, he demonstrates that exact movement, proving my theory and looking unbelievably beautiful while doing it. I can't stop the enchanted smile that breaks across my face when his eyes land on me. Only once have I seen him bite his lip, and that was the one and only time we had sex, until tonight. My god, what that one little action does to my neglected girly-bits. _Sonuvabitch_ , I'm freaking blushing again.

Hearing Decks clear his voice before speaking to Blues, I reign in my inner-hussy who's dying to have another go at the sex-god. "Hey Ethan, you don't want to keep that hellcat inside waiting too long. She's already jumped Angel tonight. You'll be her next target for being late." Decks smirks at his sister's boyfriend while drawing my hand back into his. Blues' eyes zero in our intertwined fingers before he responds. Guilt rears its ugly little head and I swallow down my nervousness.

"Is that so? What's her problem with Angel?" he asks, his tone controlled, but the jerking motion of his jawbone indicates that he could be a deranged man on a ledge, ready to plummet to his death. I don't understand why, but I want so badly to reach over and stroke my hand over it to soothe him. My body heat flares up to rocket launching blazing when his eyes move over from boring holes into Decks to softening when they meet mine a second time. Managing to get my shit together somehow, I answer before Decks has a chance.

"It's nothing and I'm fine, Decks." I stroke my free hand over his forearm leading down to where he's holding my fingers captive.

"I heard about Rad," Blues says politely. I nod, but reflectively grip Decks' hand tighter at the mention of Russ' cover name.

"Rad is history. When he gets out I'm giving him his walking papers," Decks states flatly, causing me to flinch completely unprepared for that bit of information.

_Dammit, I'll be left alone in this thing._ I sigh inwardly. _Fuck it, I will get it done_.

"Good. I didn't like the way he handled some _things_ ," Blues suggests, taking a step toward me, but seeing my eyes widen he stops before embarrassing us by revealing too much with his concern. _Shit, he better not screw this up for me, Decks is my ticket inside his uncle's inner circle_. I narrow my eyes at him while giving a slight shake to my head, and he obliges my silent plea by shifting his stance toward Decks again. Another large flurry of chilly wind wraps around us and I run my free hand over my arm.

"Well, I guess I should go face the _music_." He winks at me, like music is now our little inside joke, before turning away. "I'll see you at the wedding, Hillary."

"Yeah," Decks nods, "I'll see you there."

"Good night, Angel." Blues enters the restaurant not waiting around for my reply.

Escorting me to his car that's waiting at the curb with a valet, Decks strokes his thumb between our enclosed hands. It's a sweet gesture, completely out of character for this player. I shake off the foolishly wound up feelings Blues gave me and settle into the passenger seat of his Escalade and think about my new situation. Russ being out of the group freaking sucks. I really hoped he could get us on the inside, but it looks as through Decks has other plans, plans that eliminate Russ from the X'kapz infinitely.

"Are you alright?" Decks asks glancing over quickly as we pull onto the highway.

"Great," I smile thoughtfully. "Thank you for dinner and for being such a gentleman. It's rare that a woman like me is treated with such care."

He chews on the inside of his cheek nervously before responding. "Angel, I'm sorry. I just don't think I can do this whole friends thing with you. I know I agreed to give you all the time and space you need to get over Rad and that I asked you to move in with me, but..." He pauses, chewing on his damn cheek again.

_Did I screw this up already_? _What is making him say this now_? _Could he sense things between me and Blues_?

Taking a ragged breath, he starts, "I need to ask you something and I expect you to be completely honest with me." He glances at me with total seriousness drawn on his face, dissolving the sweet look he had throughout dinner and even after putting his bitchy sister in her place. Now he wants the truth. I freeze. My heart rate spikes and I swallow hard. Has he made me? Shit, I was so distracted by Blues that I didn't even think that this could be where Decks is going with his nervousness. I nod slowly, stupefied and troubled by what he could possibly ask me that has him acting so weird.

"Will you be my date for my cousin's wedding Thanksgiving weekend?"

"What?" I release a loud breath and chuckle, "Wow, um...You realize that I thought you were going to tell me that you didn't want me living with you, right?"

"What?" He jerks around, fully facing me and taking his eyes off the road for far too long. Surprise and sheer confusion is written all over his face when he demands, "Hell no, that is the total opposite of what I want!"

"Okay, then I would love to be your date," I answer, smiling at him because I'm happy I lived another day without screwing up this job.

"Thank you," he says, pulling into Natalie's driveway. "After you tell Nat and Wise about moving, will you call me?"

I nod, "Sure."

"Will I need to bring a rental truck and some guys to help move your things?"

"No, it should all fit in the back of your truck." I gesture toward the back cargo area.

Decks hands me his cell and I quickly add my number to his contacts list. Using my tech skills, I scan through the names, making a mental note to run a tracer on his line soon, all while he stares out the front window happily. My heart stills in my chest when I see one name in particular that I did not expect to find under his friends list. With trembling hands I pass the phone over to him and he grabs for me while taking it back.

"Hey," he says in a soft voice clearly aware of my trembling. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," my voice comes out shaky, but I smile, needing to make him a true believer once again.

"I swear to you that you won't regret this Angel," he insists implying that my nervousness is about moving in with him and I boldly use it as my excuse.

"Okay," I whisper and then offer him a gigantic lie in response, "I trust you."'

He slides out of his truck and rushes around to open my door continuing his gentlemanly tactics. Leading me up to the front door, he stops just as I expect him to, only inches away from my personal bubble. He cups the side of my face, staring down at me with an eerie puzzlement possessing his facial muscles. A heated desire swirls wildly in his dark chocolate eyes and I swallow hard, knowing that he is about to really lay one on me.

Inching down closer, his lips hover over mine as he whispers against them, "I will only kiss you again when you want it."

He steps away, dropping his hands and then flashes one of the sweetest smiles I've ever seen him bestow to anyone. Okay, this game is getting interesting. Charming took a backseat to what Decks is hauling now. He's a reasonably intelligent man, but little does he know, I will never want him kissing me again. Ever.

"Good night, Angel." I chuckle as he bounds off the steps toward his truck beaming, like a teenager who discovered a miraculous defense for blasted pimples.

"I'll see you later."

I watch until his head lights disappear into the night. Releasing a heavy breath, I scrub both hands over my face. Tonight was interesting in more ways than one, but that last bit of information is rather troubling. Why in the hell does Decks have Mad Hatter's phone number stored in his cell and how bad is this going to come back to bite me in the ass?

Pushing open the door, I find Natalie sitting in the living room alone, watching the latest episode of Sons of Anarchy. "Hey Angel, I want to hear every detail about your date, but you have got to give me five minutes." Natalie says, staring at the TV while holding up her hand, emphasizing her plea. "Jax is about to grace me with his tight, little, naked tushie. That priceless commodity deserves a moment of silence out of respect."

I shake my head and chuckle once knowing that she lives in the exact world she guilelessly swoons over and doesn't even realize it. Plus, from what I can tell she has a better piece of ass sleeping upstairs in her own bed right this minute. The girl is seriously delusional.

"I'm going up. Come get me when you're done." I tell her, climbing the stairs.

Before I get inside my room, Wise comes out of the hall bathroom. "Hey Angel, did you have a nice time with Decks?"

"Yep," I nod, "he was a total gentleman."

"Ain't that some shit," laughing softly, Wise scratches his head and mumbles, "Decks, a gentleman, never thought I'd see the day." He smiles genuinely and it even shows through in his eyes. He's really happy for his friend. Too bad, I'll never live up to his or Decks' expectation in the girlfriend department. "You really are something kiddo."

"Nah, I think it's been lying dormant for years. He just needs a little push and he could be one heck of a catch for _some_ lucky lady." There, maybe that will aid in him understanding my intentions.

He pierces me with a strange look and asks, "But not you, right?"

Before I confirm his guess, I analyze Wise for just a second, seeing something strange move through his eyes. He reaches over, places a hand on the side of my face and strokes my cheek affectionately. A weird shiver runs down my spine, but I hold still, uncertain as to why he feels the need to touch me out of the blue. He has never behaved this way and I'm getting a little creeped out by it.

"Be careful," Wise whispers, dropping his hand and stepping into his bedroom.

Standing in the hallway, my mouth hangs open for a solid minute. Tonight has completely thrown me for a loop. This shit is getting weirder by the minute. I think I'll pass on sharing with Natalie tonight. After that affectionate display from her husband, I'm not sure I can face her. Shaking my head to force away the crazies threatening to take up rent in my now vacant cranium, I rush into my room, change quickly and then slip under the covers. Maybe I can hide away from them.

A feminine knock on the door comes about ten minutes later, but I remain silent and even hold my breath. Natalie leaves after saying goodnight through the closed door, and I couldn't be happier about escaping that awkwardness.
Chapter Eighteen

November

Wednesday morning before Thanksgiving, I hop a flight from Atlanta going to South Bend, Indiana and then pick up a flight retracing my path somewhat, ending with my real destination, Key West. I take one of Granddad's speedboats he boards on the island just for such occasions crossing the gulf to Willow so I can pick up my car parked in the private parking garage on one of the public docks. I can't be sure if I'm being trailed or not so all the James Bond backtracking is completely necessary in order to keep my family safe. I take the long way around the island before pulling up to the Walker mansion an hour later.

"Who's that sneaking into my house?" a heavy southern accent rumbles through the foyer as I shut the door behind me. Peering up the stairs, I spot Granddad, Mac Walker, trotting down looking better than he has in a long time.

"Hey ya' Granddad," I giggle my greeting when he lifts me off the ground wrapping me in one of his famous bear hugs. "Okay, you can put me down now. I'm getting too old for this type of welcoming, you know."

"Never," he demands patting me on top of my head after dropping back on solid ground. "You'll always be my little sugar dumpling, and as long as I'm able, I'll be picking you up anytime I want."

Taking my bag off my shoulder, Granddad leads me through the house toward my room. There is a commotion coming from the den and I quirk an eyebrow up at Granddad when he glances back at me to see if I heard it too.

"Your brothers are going at it again. If you ask me, I say we send them out back and let them fight it out." He chuckles, pushing open the bedroom door and dropping my bag at the foot of the bed.

"You know that wouldn't be fair to Morgan. Marcus has his black belt now," I remind him, tossing my purse onto the bed. "Let's go stop it before someone gets hurt."

Granddad laughs. "You always try to make things better. After all of these years, those two may not be fixable, Sammie."

"Yeah, well, I'll never give up on them." I shrug, entering behind him into the family room, which now has a noise level equivalent to a live rock concert.

"You're making a foolish mistake," Morgan shouts at Marcus from across the room. "I don't know why you have to be so damn condescending. Marcus, when you are offered something this fucking incredible, you take it. It's smart business. Don't throw this opportunity back into Granddad's face." Ooh, low blow, even for Morgan.

"Just shut the hell up already," Marcus growls angrily from across the room. "I don't have to explain myself to you, Morgan."

"He's right about that and besides we've already discussed Marcus' plans with Walker Corporation," Granddad shuts down Morgan's little attack, but my baby brother doesn't look happy about it. He glowers at Granddad as he heads straight over to his lazy boy, sits down with a low grunt and then reclines back instantly. "You're the one to handle the next generation Morgan. Let your brother be."

"Fine," Morgan snaps relenting on his fight for Granddad's sake, but I can see that this argument is far from over.

"Happy birthday idiots!" I shout out my favorite nicknames for my baby brothers. I walk over to Marcus and hug him before turning toward his twin.

"Oh, the other family traitor decides to grace us with her presence. How freaking fortunate are we?" Morgan snarls, still sullen with Marcus impending defection from WC.

"Morgan, I'll not tell you again to let it go," Granddad snaps. "Your Gran will be home any minute and I'll not have her upset with your continuous disagreements. Understood?"

"Yes sir," Morgan responds like a pouty three-year-old, dropping onto the sofa, crossing his arms tightly over his chest, clearly still very pissed off and sulking. It's been a year since I've seen my brothers and from what I can tell their relationship has taken a severe nose dive into bitter sibling rivalry, at least on Morgan's part.

"Thanks Sam," Marcus says sincerely in response to my greeting. Polar opposite of his identical twin, he looks relaxed leaning back casually on his seat at the bay window overlooking the ocean.

I arch an eyebrow up and mouth to him, "What's his problem?" but he only gives a slight shoulder shrug in return. Whatever is going on with Morgan, I hope it gets sorted soon. He resembles a loose cannon poised at the heart of battle, ready to explode and willing to take as many casualties with him when he goes.

"I smell biscuits," I moan cheerfully, rubbing my growling tummy. "Did Gran cook before she left this morning?"

"There's a whole mess of grub waiting for you Hon. Go fix a plate and then come pile up on the sofa with us for the first game of the long weekend."

I giggle and eagerly take off toward the fabulous scents wafting from the kitchen. Pulling open the bread warmer, I take out two huge biscuits, pile on the apple-butter, and top it off with a hefty serving of my favorite food group, _mmm bacon_! The amazing aroma assaults my nose so I grab extra pieces before pulling out a platter of fruit from the refrigerator.

"Can we talk?" Marcus asks, sidling into a barstool at the island, pinning me with sad puppy dog eyes.

"You know it," I mumble around my first huge bite of biscuit and then moan contently.

"He's really getting on my fucking nerves Sam. I'm not sure what's happened, but about three months ago he became that little shit you just encountered."

I bob my head, chewing down my second big bite before washing it down with a sip of coffee. "He seems angry or jealous. He's never been that way before. Do you know if something happened recently?"

Marcus' eyes shift away from me and I see some strong emotions rolling through them, making the light green turn a hunter shade. Obviously something is going on with Morgan or Marcus has had something else happen that he doesn't want me to know about. God, I hope it's not girl problems again.

"I'm not sure if it's who he's hanging out with, but he's been going to the Goth club in town every time we come home now. Maybe their hardcore attitudes are rubbing off on him. I don't know. Whatever it is, I have become a target for his hatefulness. You know, I don't really give a damn what he says to me or about me, but his attacks aren't just reserved for me anymore. I overheard him on a conference call last week with a new intern and the vulgarity he released on that poor girl was embarrassing," Marcus says, sighing and plucking a piece of bacon off my plate.

"Hey, get your own," I snarl and the little shit laughs while devouring the stolen deliciousness. I pull my plate away from his extra long reach. Dang, this kid has really grown since the last time I saw him and I'm missing so much. _Where the heck did that come from_? "Have you spoken with dad about him?"

"Uh, no," Marcus shakes his head angrily, "Dad doesn't give two shits about my opinion on anything. Besides, you know Barret would encourage Morgan to throw his weight around over _all who are beneath him_." Marcus quips, mocking a haughty tone and air quoting the catchphrase we gave our father years ago.

"This is true." I pause, wondering if Morgan has been dabbling in drugs. Then again, he doesn't act high or stoned so I'm probably just directing my line of work on his selfish behavior. Whatever his problem is I hope that it doesn't involve illegal narcotics. Whether or not Morgan is my little brother, I will not tolerate him being a drug user. After this case is behind me and when I find some free time, I need to dig into this situation a little further. "Is he doing anything else that's unusual or off for Morgan?"

"The only other thing that has become _extreme_ is the number of women he has been screwing."

"What do you mean?" I ask halfheartedly, giving him a cringe and hoping he understands that I really don't want details of my brother's sex life.

"He goes through women like he's on a mission," Marcus smirks devilishly, "I know we're fucking irresistible as hell, but Sam I'm not exaggerating when I say that he brings home a different woman every damn night."

"Damn, I would agree, that is excessive." Chewing on my last piece of bacon Marcus didn't steal, I sort through my memory bank for any drugs that could make his demeanor change so rapidly and yet doesn't have the other usual side effects. I draw a blank on anything that can cause this total transformation.

"So, changing the subject," Marcus segues, leaning his back against the chair. "I have my law enforcement exam lined up for next summer. I put Kole on notice that I probably won't be returning back to the gym. I'm hoping the state puts me on the southern regions, but I picked central Alabama as my second choice. Who knows, we might be able to see each other more often, if they send me there."

My stomach flips with thinking about Marcus possibly coming to visit me in Georgia. I need to tell him a little bit about what's going on to keep him safe. All I need is for him to show up and blow my cover. For the next hour I explain what I can about the "Busting Kennedy's" case and he listens with rapt admiration. Marcus will make a great cop someday. I just hope dad doesn't disown him for his choices like he did me.
Chapter Nineteen

"Oh honey, are you sure you can't stay a little longer?" Gran asks, stacking our dinner plates beside the sink for me to wash.

"I want to, you know that, but I have plans for the weekend that sort of involves work," I remind her again. I really wish that I didn't have to leave either. Going back to my life in Canton and being Decks date for a family wedding isn't exactly something that tops the list of my favorite things to do on a holiday weekend, but I am excited about finally getting aligned with a member deep inside the X'kapz tight nit core group. Hopefully I will catch a break and obtain enough concrete evidence that I can turn over to my captain and blow their nefarious dealings to kingdom come, ending a reign of national terrorism brought on by drug dealers and gun runners throughout the southeast.

_Yeah, that's a little melodramatic, but hey, a girl can dream_.

"I suppose you're right." She smiles sweetly, but I can see how disappointed she is with me heading back early. "Here, this is the last of it." She hands me the large turkey serving platter and scoots over to the coffee grinder. "I'll make some coffee and you will sit with me for a bit before you pack up and leave me again. We haven't had a girl chat in ages."

Besides Kris, my Gran is the closest girlfriend I have. That may sound totally pathetic, but I don't trust easily. Plus, she's brilliant and her advice is absolutely priceless to me, albeit sometimes it can be a little kooky. I cherish every conversation we've had, but I can tell from the sparkle in her eye that she has something specific that she wants to discuss.

"Fat free half and half or would you like to be a rebel tonight and join me in splurging with a dash of Italian Cream? It turns your coffee into a decadent dessert." She grins while shaking the hell out of the bottle of liquid goodness.

Covering my hand over where my heart lies in my chest, I gasp. "What the hell, Gran? After watching me glutton myself on your fabulous meal, how can you ask me such things?" I smirk, "Make it two splashes."

"I wish Kris would have visited with you. How is she?" Gran asks, taking our coffees out to the sun room with me following behind with a dish of pecan pie. She glances over her shoulder and chuckles when she spots my second helping of dessert.

"She's great, although she works too much. I feel horrible that she agrees to overtime every chance she can get just to help cover her half of the utilities. I offer every month to pay more than my share, but she's dead set on making it a fair split down the middle." I sigh, sitting down on one end of the large sofa while Gran curls up on the other side.

Gran sips her coffee deliberating my words for a moment and then says, "Single women like to be in control. It makes them feel empowered to know they are doing it independently. Kris is a good girl, raised by a family with high standards and respectable morals. Don't deprive her of something that she's clearly passionate about. It would kill you if someone took away your rights to provide for yourself. I seem to recall not too long ago how a certain someone was way too stubborn to let her grandparents pay for college." Oh, she knows this topic always gets me riled up.

"Gran, I get it. But I just couldn't let you do it after turning down your generous offer to join the company. Besides, you know that my dad would have never let me accept money either." I stare out the window, watching the last of the sun's rays streaking across the darkening southern sky. Talking about my dad isn't my preferred conversation during family get-togethers. Notice how neither he nor my mother is here celebrating with the family.

"Honey, let me tell you something about your father," Gran starts, pulling my free hand into hers. "When the time came, he chose his path. Now, the reasons he did are his own, and you are entitled to the same options. You know we will love and support you no matter what you do. I couldn't be more proud of the woman you've become, Samantha." Her eyes glisten as she continues. "The first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you would do special things, great things." She smiles dotingly and emphasizes her feelings again, "Very important things. Did I ever tell you that I had a visit from an angel in the early morning hours the day you were born?"

"What?" I chuckle, not believing that my sweet and normally sane grandmother just confessed something so ridiculous, "An angel? Are you sure you weren't dreaming instead?"

"Well, hell yes I was dreaming. How else do you think angels visit us?"

"Oh," is all I can come back with while I think about how maybe she's on to something with this theory.

"As I was saying, a beautiful woman who looked like an angel came to me in my dreams. She spoke softly and slowly, but I still couldn't understand most of what she was trying to relay to me." I twitch an eyebrow up curious as to where this crazy story is leading. "What I remember specifically about the vision of the angel is that she looked exactly as you do now."

"Really?" I stifle a giggle, but she can see it. "So was she the future me visiting you in a dream the day before I was born?"

She swats my hand playfully. "Hush up girl and listen to me." I nod, pretending to lock my lips and toss away the key. She blesses me with an enormously dramatic eye roll. "That 'future you' was happier than any person I've ever seen. She had this amazing glow about her, that's what made me believe she was an angel. The words that she kept repeating slowly began to form into a language that I could understand, yet I had to strain to hear them. When she realized I was catching on she paused and then told me that everything that I know isn't what _is_ and everything that is to come will come with pain."

Gran glances away, sighs heavily and then says, "She said that I need to tell you to keep pushing. No matter what the cost you will receive everything your heart desires, but it will come with a hefty price tag. Of course none of it made sense to me at the time, but after our little debate over your living arrangements, I realize that is exactly who you are. You don't crumble under pressure, even with that heavy burden your father puts upon you and with that hellish job of yours, you never do anything easily. It will be the same for you when you fall in love." She lifts her gigantic coffee cup to her lips taking a big gulp. _Gran practically funnels the liquid caffeine all day long._

Briefly distracted by her daily coffee quota, I play catch-up and shudder visibly thinking about what her dream might mean. What will my hefty price tag involve? Could it all relate back to what I'm currently involved with or is it something different altogether? Damn Gran and her silly dreams.

"Honey," Gran calls smirking roguishly, dragging me back to the land of the living. "Where did you go? You were looking directly at me, but not responding when I asked you a question."

"Oh, I'm sorry Gran. I was just sorting through your story. What was your question?"

"I asked if you've fallen in love." I stare at her now completely aware of what she's asking and wonder why in the hell she would throw that out at me.

"Uh, Gran..." I narrow my eyes at her and wait for the punch line. She doesn't budge. "Fallen in love? What on earth would make you ask me that?"

She shrugs one shoulder casually. "Well, that was the other part of the angel's message." She continues, leaning forward and placing her cup on the small table in front of us, "She said that it all begins when your heart is whole. Love is the only thing that completes the heart. I wanted to know if you've found your other half yet."

"No," I shake my head adamantly emphasizing my abhorrence to that useless emotion. "As much as I enjoy your stories Gran, I know for a fact there isn't a man out there who could be my other half. And if there is such a creature roaming this world, I don't know if I could stand him." I chuckle, but she remains completely impassive with my rebelliousness when it comes to this topic.

"Dearest, of course _he's out there_ and you will know it the moment you lay eyes on him. There isn't a loud boom of fireworks or a chorus of angels singing from the heavens, but you will feel a draw to him unlike anything you've ever experienced. It's undeniable and no one will ever make you feel it besides _the one_."

My eyes grow wide remembering how drawn my body is to Blues every time I'm around him. I recover quickly by pretending an eyelash is in my eye, and drop my shocked expression just as fast. _It's not Blues. It can't be Blues._ Nothing about our relationship will convince me that he is my other half. It's not like we are romantically involved and even if we were he's the bad guy, a good cop turned rouge after getting busted stealing from a shipment of drugs, resulting with him getting kicked off the force. I could never be with someone who supports destroying other people's lives. Besides his vile career choices, he was recently removed from the singles market by one of the nastiest bitches I've ever been up against, confirming that I am definitely not his type. No, there's no way in hell Blues is who Gran could be talking about. He will never be _the one_ , ever.

"I fought the uncontrollable draw to Mac originally too," Gran whispers through a brilliant smile, "Clearly, you see what good that did me."
Chapter Twenty

Saturday I spend time getting pampered with Natalie in preparation for my date with Decks at his cousin's wedding tonight. We swipe Wise's credit card so many times, I'm afraid we'll scrape off the raised numbers soon. As much as I struggle with their lifestyle choice, I'm finding it easy to really like them and their little munchkins.

Sipping on my second glass of complimentary champagne after our amazing facials and pedicures, I glance over at Natalie, her face tilted upward toward the ceiling and eyes closed, discerning her completely serene expression.

"Where are you?" I ask, giggling as she pierces me with a strange look. "What?"

"I was fantasizing about Jude in New Orleans. You've reminded me enough about our trip that I'm actually getting really excited about going to a damn football game."

"Ah, well I'm sure the players aren't going to be the only ones getting tackled that weekend. I think Wise has some of that in store for you in the bedroom."

"Do you know that the last time Jude and I went on a trip alone was when we were living in Baltimore?" I shake my head and watch as sadness moves into her deep hazel eyes.

"You okay, Natalie?"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't bring it up, but I haven't had a girlfriend in ages and I haven't ever talked to anyone about our life before..." She trails off, wiping away a stray tear that slowly slips down her cheek.

"Hey," I reach out and touch her arm, "You know that you can tell me anything you want. I'll keep it between us." She stares at me hard for a moment before nodding her head. Glancing around the crowded spa she sighs heavily. "Let's get out of here. How does a small snack sound?"

She sighs again, "You only have two hours before Decks picks you up. It can wait for another day."

"No," I demand, picking up our purses, handing hers over and slinging mine over my shoulder. "We're going downstairs to Annabelle's Sweets and splitting some frozen custard. No arguing, move your ass."

Taking a seat by the window, Natalie digs into our cup of heaven while I fish around in my purse for a tissue. The moment we sat down in the empty dessert shop she started spilling everything, including incessant tears.

"So after Jude's dad died he decided to move us away from everyone. I wasn't sure about leaving behind my family, but he just couldn't be around all the eyes staring at him with pity."

"What happened to his father?" I ask, handing her a paper hankie.

She wipes her nose and mumbles around the tissue, "He worked for the secret service in D.C. Jude was really proud of him and..." She pauses, glances out the window briefly, and then looks back. I can tell that she's struggling with revealing everything from their past. She sighs more. "He wanted to follow in his dad's footsteps. He planned to work for homeland security." My mouth hangs open, and she smiles for the first time since leaving the spa, and it's all because of the shocked look on my face. I thought he was in engineering. _I'm so confused_. "He dreamed of being a police officer when he was a kid. In college he decided on national protection. We were married right out of high school and I got pregnant with Dean almost immediately. About six months before he graduated from college his dad died in the line of duty."

"Oh god, Natalie I'm so sorry." I clutch her hand tenderly.

"Yeah, they were very close." She sniffs. "Jude's mom died when he was a kid so it was just the two of them for the longest time. About a month later he received a call from the head of the department offering him a job. Instead of accepting it he came to me with the idea of coming to Georgia. I wasn't sure what we would do for money or a place to live, but he begged me to trust him to provide, so I did." She grins, a wistful look moves across her face as she glances out the window again. "Angel, it was almost like fate led us here. Jude found our home online and it was perfect. I wasn't sure how he planned on paying for it, but I never once questioned him. Within a week of moving in Jude met Decks and he started working for him almost immediately. Of course at first I wasn't sure how happy he would be selling cars for a living, but he convinced me that we were worth the sacrifice. And now I have you, too."

Talk about information overload, my mind is totally chaotic right now. Hearing how Wise was on a path to becoming a law enforcement officer before being blown away with his dad getting killed while on duty, I am shocked and troubled by his downfall. But then when Natalie revealed that he has her completely snowed with this car salesman job, I can no longer hide my hatred.

"Are _you_ happy?" I snap. She jerks her head, looking at me strangely, like I've offended their choices, and I wince at my harsh tone. "I mean you had to leave behind all of your friends and family. Has he acknowledged how much _you've_ sacrificed?"

"It may sound weird to you, but I believe that it's all worked out for the best. I know that the kids and I are Jude's priority, and he will do whatever it takes to prove it." I grunt thinking that this is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard.

She nods when she sees my unconvinced look and explains further, "Do I miss our life before? Yes. Would I rather have it over being with my husband and children here? No. We all have sacrifices that we must endure, Angel. I don't believe mine are any more important than his."

Suddenly, I am all keyed up and wishing that Wise was here with us so I could slap some sense into him. What kind of man leaves a life of defending and protecting, only to fall right into one that puts his family in direct line of the horrible dangers he is supposed to keep them from? Seriously, I couldn't be more disappointed in one person than I am with her husband at this very moment.

"Angel, please don't say a word to Jude," she begs, standing from her seat and pulling her purse strap over her shoulder. "He despises his old life and made me promise to never speak about it to anyone here. I hate betraying him by telling you, but I needed to get it off my chest. You are the first person that I've gotten close to in all this time." I sigh softly feeling like I've let her down already, and I haven't even uttered a word about their secret past.

Something nudges my brain about how odd all of this sounds. But then again, I keep just as many secrets from the people in this world so I guess I can understand some of his concern. Getting close to Decks has me a little on edge just thinking about him discovering my hidden life.

_Wait!_ Could Wise be undercover? Is that why he demands that Natalie doesn't reveal their past to anyone? It would explain a lot if he is, and oh my god if it turns out to be true, I would feel better about his involvement with the Kennedy's. The heaviness lifts from my chest as we get into her car, heading back to her house. I know Russ warned me not to speak to anyone about my cover, but I just feel like I need to know Wise's truth. If he's undercover then that could explain the tender warning he gave me after my first date with Decks. Dammit all to hell, I'm freaking confused and torn about how to handle it all.
Chapter Twenty-One

My cell phone rings just as I hear the doorbell chime. I glance down at the screen seeing an unfamiliar area code. Too busy to answer it at the moment I send it to voice-mail and then I check my reflection once more before descending the stairs.

"Hi," I say, smiling as I slip into the kitchen where Decks is waiting with Natalie and Wise.

"Angel?" Decks asks hesitantly taking in my complete transformation. His eyes dilating, breaths swelling his chest and the dark tip of his tongue gliding across a row of white teeth all reveal how much he wants me.

Gone are all signs of the grungy drug addict that he met at the beginning of the year. That drudgery role, so unbecoming, is replaced today with the captivating and dignified socialite my mother raised. My dark hair is swept up in a loose, sexy up do with several wavy strands framing my face. My decadently short dress is a cream tinted satin, draping seductively off the shoulder and dipping provocatively low in the front, accentuating my full C's just the way I like.

Shifting my gaze from Decks, I sneak a glance at Natalie and Wise, noticing that all three of them have their mouths hanging agape in complete surprise and I can't control the burst of laughter from escaping passed my lips.

"You all look as though you can't believe your eyes." I tease, knowing damn well that their minds are totally fucked at the sight of me.

"Sweetie, you look amazing," Natalie singsongs, smiling sweetly before bumping Wise's shoulder with her elbow, cajoling him from his lengthy stupor, "Doesn't she look great, Jude?"

"Yeah," he mumbles, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, eyebrows pinching in and mouth forming a tight line. "You look very pretty, Angel." I smile, bow playfully while crossing my eyes and sticking out my tongue at him until he finally smiles too.

"Angel?" Decks repeats as I approach him, "That's really you?"

"Yes," I answer back softly, peering up from under my long lashes at him and finding a desirous look significantly different from the unadulterated lustful ones he's given before. This one's more appreciative rather than sexual.

"God Angel, you look absolutely...perfect." Hearing _that_ word used to describe me sends a repulsive shiver through my entire body and goose bumps quickly surface along my flesh. I fight the urge to snarl at him demanding that he take it back immediately. Along with some divine involvement, I bite back my rage, calm down enough to place a tender kiss against his cheek and thank him for the compliment.

"Are we ready?" I ask, wanting to divert the conversation away from me and focus on getting this date over with.

A lopsided grin slips across Decks face. "I am one lucky son of a bitch." Realizing that I am his date for the evening, his tone comes across as momentarily surprised. He couldn't sound more condescending and in awe at the same time if he tried.

Wise slaps Decks on the back while in a fatherly tone, he orders, "Bring her back home in the same condition she's leaving." Decks chuckles and nods his head confidently as he guides me toward a white stretch limousine waiting in the circular driveway. Once inside the car Decks takes my hand into his and leans in slightly.

"I regret what I promised you before," he states, staring deeply into my eyes.

"Oh," I smile playfully, knowing exactly what promise he's referring to. "And what is that?"

"I want to kiss you." He places his other hand on my thigh, sliding it upward slowly. "Hell, I want to skip this goddamn wedding altogether and get you out of this dress."

"No sir," Shaking my head, I smack his hand, "I think I'm definitely going to hold you to your promise."

He removes his hand, but his eyes drop from mine to the tops of my boobs. I elbow him to break the connection and he gives me a half-ass shrug. The leech is not sorry for the looks, and I pray that I never find out what sex acts he is conjuring in that wicked head of his.

"I forgot to ask before, but where is the wedding being held?" I cross my legs, a movement I really didn't plan, but it successfully distracting him from ogling my boobs.

"Huh?" he stammers, "Oh...it's at my Uncle's house in The Hills."

Fortunately for me, Decks is still dragging his eyes slowly from the hem of my dress down to my ankles so he doesn't notice the giddy and shocked look completely eclipsing my expression. I think I just orgasmed because I freaking hit the jackpot on this date. After hearing that our destination is the one place that I have been dreaming about going to since earning this case, I've decided that I will at some point tonight allow Decks to grope my boobs. Yep, he's earned that, but nothing more. Of course I'll need a scalding hot shower afterward, and as much as I despise the idea, I will definitely need to burn the dress, but shit, it will be totally worth it. _Look out Nelson, here I come_.

The remainder of the drive is silent, which I am completely grateful for. It's taking everything I have in me to suppress the giggles, threatening to expose me for the fraud that I am. From the looks of it, Decks doesn't seem to mind the quiet either since all he can do is stare while licking his lips repeatedly. He's opened his mouth a few times, but no sound comes out. If his gawking wasn't so irritating, I might be flattered, but really how does he think this is acceptable behavior. Luckily we pull up to the gate and he directs his attention toward the guarded mansion.

"Sorry, I didn't prepare you better. I guess I'm so used to this life that I forget about the shock factor and sometimes new people need a warning," he suggests as we wait in the ridiculously long line of stretch limos. Seeing my curiosity pique, he explains, "My Uncle Nelson is a very powerful man. Today is his step-daughter, Britny's special day. Any questions that you may have can wait for another time." He didn't really say it in a threatening tone, but I grasp the meaning behind his order and simply nod my head.

Finally we reach the ostentatious front staircase where Decks directs me toward the lavishly decorated backyard. There are many faces I recognize, ranging from politicians to celebrities, along with several I've never seen before. With the amount of money and power the Kennedy family has it really isn't surprising seeing everyone who is anyone here for Nelson's little girl's special day.

The ornate pre-wedding celebration includes a small orchestra playing softly in the background of hundreds of murmuring conversations, thousands of twinkling lights and crates of Cristal champagne. Decks accepts two flutes of the bubbly from the bartend and presents one to me as we stroll through Atlanta's cream of the crop. Making our way along, he speaks with several sports icons, introducing me to each of them as his girlfriend. I chuckle a few times at his moxie while battling an overwhelming desire to correct him...with my fist.

Naturally, all the men eye fuck me while the look in the ladies eyes reveal that they would love to tell me to fuck off. To me, none of them exist because they aren't my intended target this evening. It works well until we land on a thoroughly disgusted and yet beautiful face framed by long blonde hair. If looks could kill I would be on my death bed a hundred times over by Lourdes' single stabbing glare.

"Decks..." she drones, raking her eyes over me.

He flashes a smile at her, but it clearly isn't sincere. "What's up sis?"

"I didn't know you were bringing a date. The last time we spoke you were going to find a hook up here." She smirks at me, piling on the nastiness with a look that says I don't mean anything to him. I smile sweetly and that's when recognition fills her stone blue eyes, turning them completely black. "What the fuck, Decks? Did you really think bringing that crackhead to this house would be acceptable? You are a complete idiot." Lourdes growls bitterly, her eyes never leaving me.

"Hello Lourdes," I state, my voice all sugar, saccharine and honey filled, so sweet it could make you sick for weeks. On the inside, I'm bouncing with excitement knowing that speaking to her like this for the first time since our initial meeting will piss her off royally. Just to up the dramatics I throw in a dazzling smile while snaking my arm through Decks'.

Stepping in close, her upper lip twitches, proving that she is barely holding onto her self-control and then she snarls at me, "You may be dressed in the finest that _Decks'_ money can buy, but you are still a worthless piece of shit underneath it all. Remember. Your. Place." Yep, you guessed it, she punctuated the last three words. I feel an eye roll coming on.

Decks' voice is a low growl. " _If_ I had bought this sexy dress for her it would be none of your concern. We are together now Lourdes so you'll get over whatever the hell –"

I tug on Decks' arm, stopping his torrent verbal abuse. "If you will allow me," I whisper to him before turning toward Lourdes. _Because I deserve this one_. "I don't really feel that an explanation is necessary, Lourdes. However," I smile naughtily looking back at Decks, "We're just starting this relationship and whether your sister likes it or not my one and only place _is_ at your side." I flick my eyes back at Lourdes, "That is something you will need to _remember_."

Smiling proudly, Decks draws me against his chest, lowers his face to mine and pierces me with heated, proud brown eyes.

Hearing Lourdes screech, I smirk and whisper to him, "Kiss me like you mean it."

His grin is spectacular, better than I could've ever scripted for a moment like this, one second before he drops his mouth to mine. He kisses me with every bit of passion that a playboy can muster. As bad as I hate it, I part my lips, encouraging his assured recklessness. And boy does he take it. His tongue sweeps in and finds mine, beginning a wild tango of movement that leads to deviant public groping. After a minute of tolerating his unconstrained attack and shift from refined man to utter scoundrel, I end it with a slow smile between us. He steps away keeping his eyes locked on me while he slides his hand down finding mine and interlacing our finger.

"I've never meant anything more," Decks states smugly.
Chapter Twenty-Two

The wedding begins promptly at seven with one of the largest wedding parties on full display that I've ever witnessed. All twenty bridesmaids in their bedazzled finery looked like bloody Barbie dolls and their counterpart groomsmen could be Gucci models, decked out in their high-caliber trappings. My heart leaps into my throat when the bridal march begins. A weird sensation echoes along with a buzzing noise inside my head. I haven't felt ill for several weeks now so I don't understand why my body suddenly wants to become besties with gravity and make me horizontal. I casually reach for Decks' arm while spotting the bride in my peripheral being ushered down the walkway. Although my head is spinning like one of those rubbery automated car wash scrubbers and I really just want to close my eyes, I can't resist taking a peek.

All of the oxygen in my body transforms instantly from gas to solid weighing heavy in my chest as I glance up and spot Blues escorting the glowing bride down the center aisle. Glimpsing down at the petite beauty every couple of strides with a curl on his dark red lips, Blues is the proudest man alive. He doesn't even turn his head my direction, and a peculiar struggle within me commences to dominate my feelings about it. In one corner, relief and happiness stand strong, fist pounding and pumping their hands in the air rallying the crowd with confidence toward their victory.

However, in the other corner, disappointment and neglect climb to the top rung of the fighting ring, flipping off the spectators, and getting them all riled up for the showdown of the century. I'm not sure who will win this cataclysmic battle, but knowing who I prefer, I'm putting all of my money on the former and adding a silent prayer that I can avoid the hell out of Blues for the remainder of the evening. Because I know damn well that if I make eye contact with my favorite pair of sapphire tinted ones for a second victory will go to the other side and that could result in a defeat for Team Sam.

Unfortunately, fate feels the need to play referee in my internal battle. Upon handing over the bride, Blues turns around and like a heat seeking projectile fired at my soul his eyes shoot straight to mine. A whisper follows his broken arrow, floating in the space between us like the words just left his lips with a single destination, straight to my ears promising, "I will always find you." The look in his eyes is a longing that tugs at my soul, but the displeased expression veiling his face is desperately imploring me away from Decks' side. My heart slams painfully against my ribcage and I struggle taking in air until he finally takes his seat, severing our connection. I have an unprecedented need to run just to see how fast and far my new stilettos can carry me. I've never wanted to leave a single place more than I do this damn wedding.

Somehow I manage to sit through the forty-five minute extravaganza the Kennedy's call a wedding. My disloyal eyes misbehave the entire time, peering over at Blues almost every minute that passes. Luckily, Decks' grazing his hand over my thigh breaks through to my obscene thoughts on more than one occasion, freeing me from a Blues induced haze. I'm grateful that the object of my desire hasn't glimpsed back at me after our initial staring contest. As bad as I hate to admit it, I'm finding it almost unbearable just to remain seated for the duration. With the ceremony winding down, I'm becoming antsy about the pending reception. I don't know if I have the fortitude to deny Blues anything if he needs it.

_What in the hell is wrong with me? He's just a guy. No, he's a damn drug dealer and I am an officer of the law. He is forbidden so get over this bullshit now._ Great internal pep talk Sam. Pathetic much?

Immediately following my internal struggle, I'm rocked to my core as Gran's powerful words ripple through my brain, " _It's undeniable, and no one will ever make you feel it except for the one."_

"No," I whisper as the audience cheers for the newly married couple when they end their first kiss as husband and wife.

"Hey Angel," Decks chuckles, "You're not getting any crazy ideas in that pretty little head of yours, are you?"

That sobered me. "You can rest assured that I'll never have _that_ thought in my head." He smirks at me, so for clarification sake, whether for him or me, I add, "Ever!"

Leaning closely, Decks' voice rumbles deeply when he counters, "Never say, never." He winks and turns toward the isle, extending his hand behind him expecting me to take it. I grasp it grudgingly, hoping we can escape another vicious attack from his sister and avoid Blues altogether. We get jostled apart once so Decks slips his arm around my waist, securing his hold on me as we move along with the crowd.

"Would you mind showing me the powder room?"

"Great idea," Decks agrees motioning me toward the stairs. "I could use a break from all of these people."

Once inside the palace-like home, I pray that I can convince Decks to take me home early. _Ditching my responsibility for one night is completely acceptable,_ I reason. As soon as that thought enters my mind it's followed with a flood of guilt. I can't just run from my job simply because I might possibly be attracted to Blues.

Washing the foamy soap from my hands, I towel them off and stare at myself in the large framed mirror standing upright beside the sink. Is it possible that just like Lourdes, Blues didn't really recognize me? Maybe he just glanced back, spotted a beautiful woman and became curious. A sweeping awareness and happiness moves through me with that assumption. For the first time since arriving, I convince myself that Gran's numinous story caused my silly overreaction and that I will get through the remainder of the evening, forgetting all of that ridiculousness.

Before stepping out of the ladies room, I hear my phone vibrating inside my purse, lying on the counter top. Checking the screen, I notice that it's once again the unfamiliar number. I decide to answer it and let whoever it is know that they have the wrong number.

"Hello –?"

"Sam?" a deep male voice growls through the ear piece.

I freeze, uncertain of whom I know that could have this phone number. Forcing my self-control into action, I respond appropriately. "I'm sorry, you have the wrong –"

"No Sam, wait," the man rushes, stopping me from ending the call. "We need to meet tonight."

"Who –"

"Your best friend's brother," he says cutting me off again.

"Dammit," I exhale loudly, wanting to string out a number of other obscenities at Russ for scaring the shit out of me. "Why are you calling me?" I hiss keeping my voice low.

"I can't say on the phone, but it's important that you meet me at _her_ house in an hour."

"Can't. I'm kind of in the middle of something. It would have to be much later."

"Wait, aren't you staying at your new _friend's_ house? Make up something and meet me. This is an urgent matter that needs your attention before you get any closer...to _him_." Russ says cryptically.

Sorting through which _him_ he could be referring to, Blues, Decks or Nelson, I sigh and tell him more than I really should considering that he isn't coming back in on the case.

"I'm sorry, I really can't right now. I am currently at a _high profile wedding,"_ I lead, hoping that he knows Nelson's step-daughter's nuptials were planned for today.

"Shit," he groans and I can tell by the echoing steps coming through the phone that Russ is pacing nervously. _Yeah, he knows_. He finally resigns on sticking with our policy of not revealing details over the phone and says, "Be careful and get here as quickly as you can."

I delete his phone number from my call log and slip my phone back into my purse before opening the door. Decks leans against the wall across the way, arms folded over his chest and legs crossed at the ankle. His body language reads casual, but the look in his eyes are conflicting entirely, making me fearful that he could have overhead my conversation.

"Hi," I say sweetly, regaining my control once again while I stroll closer to him.

He clutches his warm hands tightly around my upper arms before leaning down, his face only inches away from mine. His dark brown eyes swirl with a blackness I haven't noticed before and his lips are stretched tight into a thin line. The hold he has on me eases as he slides his hands downward, pulling me closer when he reaches my elbows.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, dropping my smile.

Decks shakes his head and says, "Hell no."

I pull away slightly, hoping that he'll sense my discomfort and release me, but he doesn't. He draws me closer still, pressing my chest against his and tipping his head down with his mouth brushing against my cheek.

When he speaks it's through a deep growl. "I'm a mad man on the verge of doing very bad things to you, unless you agree to dance with me."
Chapter Twenty-Three

"This place is unbelievable, Decks," I whisper, looking up into his smiling eyes after glancing around the large ballroom tucked inside the back of the Kennedy residence. Since he sauntered us out to the dance floor thirty minutes ago, Decks has refused to take a breather and the force of our bodies crushing together is getting on my last damn nerve.

"It's a nice place," he agrees, sliding his hands methodically up and down my back. "I'm so glad you agreed to be my date. Without you, tonight would have been boring as hell."

Smirking at his playfulness, I roll my eyes and counter, "I doubt that. Have you noticed all of the women watching you?"

"It's too bad for them that I can't take my eyes off of you."

"Decks," I warn, feeling his hands sliding further down my back than I prefer.

"What?" He smirks at my scowl. "Are you aware that every woman in this room hates you right now because we look so damn good together?" At least ten sets of eyes are willing me out of Decks' embrace.

"If I were your girlfriend, I would be pissed off by their blatant fawning."

He presses his lips against the edge of my ear and suggests, "We could always give them something to really be jealous over."

"Now that calls for a drink." I push away from him, marching over to the open bar on the adjacent balcony. Without looking behind me, I know that Decks is following closely. Strolling up to the bartender, I order, "Whiskey on the rocks."

"Make that two," Decks corrects, leaning with his back against the railing and surveying the crowded dance floor we just vacated. "My aunt and uncle are coming this way. I want to introduce you."

I twist my head around in his direction seeing Decks push off of the bar. Smiling, he lifts a hand toward a distinguished older gentleman with an exquisite woman latched onto his arm as they approach.

"Glad you could make it tonight," Nelson Kennedy says clutching Decks' hand while reaching out with the other for the glass of champagne the bartender offers.

Nelson is in his mid sixties with thin salt and pepper hair. In his younger days he was probably a nice looking man. Today he looks old and haggard, but then again, it may be my hatred for him that distorts my perception. His eyes flick my direction briefly, but he dismisses me, and turns away just as fast.

"Hello Nelson," Decks says before turning toward the woman Nelson left standing behind him.

"Hillary, it's so good to see you," Decks' aunt says, placing a kiss against his cheek. She is a petite woman with dark gray hair swept up in a chignon. Her silver dress shimmers under the dimmed outdoor lighting. The smile radiating from her pale face completely outshines the exceptional dress.

"Camille, you look beautiful and Britny seems really happy with Hartley." He winks at her before turning back to Nelson, "Adding an attorney to the family could prove to be useful."

"Perhaps," is all that Nelson retorts, as he shifts around, turning his back on Decks and greeting another couple. He completely dismisses Decks just as he had me.

"Camille, this is my date, Angel Johnson." Undisturbed by Nelson's complete disregard, Decks smoothly slips an arm around my back. "Angel, this amazing woman is the mother of the bride."

"Good evening, Mrs. Kennedy," I say flashing my real smile.

"It's nice to meet you dear," Camille says, smiling thoughtfully at Decks. "Hillary, she is quiet lovely."

Decks pulls me closer against his side, smirks down at me and says, "I agree completely."

"I'm sure we're not alone in thinking that she is the most beautiful woman here tonight. Well, except for my baby girl, of course." Leaning in close, Camille places a hand on Decks' free arm and whispers seriously, "Lourdes must really hate this one." I arch an eyebrow up at her comment. "Don't fret," she speaks to me through a soft giggle, while straightening her back. "The poor child envies everything that rivals her for attention."

Surprisingly, insecurity is the problem with most beautiful women which makes them hate other women. It is interesting that Lourdes' reasons for hating me could be because she feels threatened by my looks. If she wasn't so filled with bitterness Lourdes would be absolutely gorgeous. However, nearly every time I've encountered her, the snarl eclipsing her face takes away from her beauty.

"She was a fat kid," Decks chuckles before adding, "I think all of her anger comes from starving herself to death." Camille shakes her head at his teasing so he continues. "And she's color blind. She found out the hard way how to tell the difference between a ripe and ready banana." I'm confused. "She can't decipher between green and yellow. I may have mixed up the two colors one day when she asked for my help."

"Ah," I reply now that I get what the hell he's talking about. _Brothers_.

"Accidentally, of course. Best part is I've told her for years that yellow looks atrocious on her, when it's actually green that makes her look like that little Mike creature from Monsters Inc."

"Stop that, you rascal," Camille scolds, and okay, I'll admit that I laughed at that.

"Think nothing of it Nelson. It was an honor for me to stand in for her dad," the voice belongs to the man I was hoping to avoid running into tonight.

I knew my luck would run out. It's like karma can't help but be a bitch to me. Both Decks and Camille direct their attention to Blues as he speaks with Nelson. I spin around to the bartender and order another whiskey after downing my first one. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and begin chanting internally. _Please just go away_. I haven't had nearly enough bourbon to deal with the lust that Blues will conjure out of my body so I slam back the second drink and request a double. The bartend winks and obliges me, making quick work of pouring the dark amber liquid over two chunky ice cubes.

"Ethan," Camille starts. "I am the one who is honored. After Owens' death, Britny wouldn't open up to anyone except for you. Truthfully," she chuckles, "I didn't think she would ever find a man she'd want to marry who could compete with you. A teenage crush like the one she's had on you isn't easy to get over."

"She's happy now and that's all that matters to me," Blues deflects charmingly.

Leaning his back against the bar beside me, Decks muses, "Even though Britny is family, I can't believe Lourdes didn't put her foot down and demand someone else give the bride away." I sip slowly on my drink, hopefully blending in and going unnoticed while finally feeling the warming effects of my liquor.

"I can't deny that she did become ridiculous briefly, but I shut it down after explaining that she didn't have a say in the matter." Blues states flatly.

"Camille, if you will forgive me dear, I must check on something in my office." Nelson says before adding, "Ethan," he pauses and I pray that he will ask Blues to join him, getting him the hell away from me. "I don't know how long I'll be, but in case I miss you before you leave, I have a meeting scheduled for Tuesday. I want you by my side."

"Certainly," is all I hear Blues reply, followed by heavy retreating footsteps and then silence. _Please let him be gone too._

Something deep in my head screams at me to keep looking away, but maybe all the alcohol has impaired my intelligence because I say fuck it and glance over my shoulder anyway. It's so unfortunate that I didn't listen to the smart part of my brain. Those sapphire eyes light up as soon as I look back. Deep, rolling waves of passionate fire engulfs my soul when his lips curl upward revealing a hypnotic smile.

_I am lust's bitch_. A loud clicking sound snaps within my brain. Everything I've been battling against locks me down as a wanton slut, eagerly slipping on heavy gauged handcuffs after just one freaking glance at Blues in a pristine white Armani tux. Gracefully, I swirl around and face the eye of my storm, feeling assurance that even though he's smiling he won't recognize me.

"You remember Angel," Decks says proudly, sweeping his arm around my waist. _Fuck_!

Blues' sexy smile drops along with his eyes, glaring fiercely at the intimate connection between me and Decks. Barely able to stand from the combination of too much whiskey and my reawakened libido, I push out from Decks' hold securing my hand on top of the bar for balance.

"Would you like some water?" a savior from behind me asks. I twist my head around finding the bartender smiling knowingly at me. I nod at him and turn my body his direction. Giving all of my attention to the sweet young tattooed guy, I blow out a heavy breath after accepting his priceless gift.

"Thank you." Winking at him, I giggle and add, "You're my hero."

A little bit of naughty girl slips out when I glance over at Decks still leaning beside me. Proving a point to myself as well as Blues that I don't want him, I glide my hand up Decks' arm, once again draping loosely over the edge of the bar. I barely feel the material on the sleeve of his coat under my fingertips because apparently the heavy dose of liquid courage numbed my digits along with my brain.

Decks eases around, slipping one arm over my belly while his other arm wraps around my back so that I am completely encased by his large body. He nuzzles his chin over the top of my shoulder, breathing against my ear.

"Are you ready to go home?" he murmurs blowing around my loose strands and making them dance across my neck.

I giggle softly, and just before I can answer Blues says, "I believe Angel owes me a dance first."
Chapter Twenty-Four

I can't speak. Hell I can barely breathe. So when the twitchy movement of my head appears to be me agreeing to dance with him, Blues peels me out of Decks' embrace and guides me inside to the ballroom dance floor. I sober up quickly when Blues snakes his right palm around my waist, gripping the small of my back and drawing me against him. His left hand, warm and tender clasps around my right and lifts it, placing it snuggly against his chest. I feel like a lioness caged by his massive muscular frame. Unsure of my ability to maintain control if I look at him, my eyes zero in on the pearly button at the collar on his stark white shirt.

"My god you are stunning," he whispers, squeezing my hand delicately. _Do not look at him._

"Thank you," I offer weakly and way too breathlessly, trembling slightly from the crush of our bodies and remembering how his flesh feels against my flesh. I force myself not to moan with bliss while need rages through my whole body.

"I spotted you before the wedding." Releasing a heavy breath, Blues says, "I've never been so captivated by a single thing before. I had to force my smile and direct my eyes forward. I almost couldn't escort Britny down the aisle properly. One glance at you before handing her over, and I wouldn't have been able to keep it together."

"Don't say that," I whimper, but somehow find strength and add, "You know that isn't how things are between us Mr. Sloane."

"Angel," Blues growls low, "for fucks sake, call me Blues. I can't stand to hear that name coming from your perfect mouth." I snap my gaze up to him, seeing a contained hostility deepening the frown lines around his heavenly blue eyes. Clearly he has issues with his name, but I don't need to know anymore about his personal problems. I just need to get this damn case over. Silence builds between us for a few moments after that uncomfortable bit.

"What happened back there doll?" Blues purrs, tilting his mouth down, brushing it against the edge of my face. His hot breath grazes my cheek and my body temperature ratchets up, doubling the already scorching degrees. I fight the overwhelming desire to nuzzle into him, and instead I turn my head away to glance over his shoulder.

My voice comes out thick and raspy when I answer, "I'm not sure what you mean."

A sexy as fuck chuckle precedes his response. "I believe I just witnessed an angel become the devil right before my eyes."

The crowded room is filled with total strangers, but I feel like everyone of them are onto my charade, and they are all watching, and waiting for me to give up of my disguise. Being in Blues' arms makes me feel like I am on display; the man is larger than life and commands attention. A tiny voice whispers in my head that I need him and that I can use him for that need. It also reasons that he doesn't want me for anything other than a good fuck, which really is absolutely fine. I mean, that is what we're talking about here, right? _Wait, no, I can't_. Holding back from him is what I must do to prevent a stupid mistake from destroying everything I've worked so hard for.

Finding the proper words, I defend with what I hope comes across as conviction, "Decks and I are together now, and I just can't keep my hands off of him." I pat myself on the back for getting through that fat ass lie without stuttering and giving myself away. _Stay strong,_ I encourage myself, hearing the end of the song we're swaying to approaching.

"Even more than with Rad, I damn sure don't see you with Decks," he growls deeply again, sliding his hand up to the middle of my spine. Tingles zip along the path, surging my need along with it. Automatically my breast thrust forward into his unyielding chest. He dips his mouth lower, lips pressing against my ear and while tightening his grip on me, Blues groans, "Fuck..."

Forcing myself to focus on the couples dancing around us instead of his filthy mouth and the tightening in my belly, I go for the jugular and counter, "I was thinking the same thing about you and Lourdes. I don't get it."

Blues growls deeply, his body heat coming through his suit rolls in waves as true anger appears for the first time. "Not everything is as it appears," he offers sadly, schooling his aggression and catching me completely off guard with that admission. Glancing up at him, I see honesty in his beautiful blue eyes affirming his statement. He must be with Lourdes because of a debt or an arrangement with Nelson.

I sigh, "I figured as much with you screwing my brains out the first night we met."

"I didn't lie to you that night, Angel. I needed you."

I swallow hard. His words feel like tiny threads weaving around my heart, reaching a part of me that no man has ever touched. An unusual hysteria commences in my brain, warning me that I am stepping into something that will consume me fully. Admitting to Blues that I need him just as much would be the easiest thing in the world, but I am Samantha Walker and I don't ever take the easy way out of a damn thing.

"It was a mistake," I whisper, lowering my eyes to our joined hands, wishing that I could take the words back as soon as they slip passed my lips, but no truer words have been spoken.

Releasing the enthralling hold on my hand, Blues slips his fingers under my chin and brings my face up so that I'm staring into his eyes. For the first time, I see a deep need surging through them matching mine.

"I have made many mistakes in my life" he admits, stroking his thumb along my jaw line, "You will never be counted as one of them."

A shiver runs down my spine, taking my sanity and making me naive. My mind becomes cloudy with an urgent desire for Blues to flub up again, but instead of saying that he needs me, he would confess that he wants me. _That doesn't make sense and it will never happen._

A light wind blows through the open double doors pulling me out of the trance Blues is navigating my soul into with his words and touch. Although it feels like my heart is breaking, I shake my head, denying there could be anything more than a bad decision between us. _No more pretending_. The song ends and it couldn't have come at a better time. I slip from his embrace without looking back, immediately spotting Decks strolling into the ballroom toward me.

"Angel," he smiles brightly. "One more twirl around the room with me then I'll take you home and tuck you safely into your bed."

Craving anything that will erase the memory of Blues' touch, I nod and Decks takes possession of my body, moving us effortlessly around the dance floor.

Like a stupid girl, I glance over my shoulder needing to see him one last time, but Blues is gone and Lourdes is also MIA. Feeling that it's for the best, I cling onto Decks and when the song ends it brings with it the finale of this whirlwind night. We have a story, but I'm making Blues a short one and rewriting the ending. _We will never happen again_.

Decks drops me off at Natalie's, and still behaving as a true gentleman, he kisses me on the cheek at the front door before making his escape. It's well after midnight so this sweet little family has probably been asleep for hours. I rush up to my room without disturbing them and change into street clothes. Meeting Russ for the intel he needs to pass on will help clear my head of all things Blues. At least I hope like hell it does.
Chapter Twenty-Five

After backing my motorcycle down the driveway silently, I hit the ignition and streak through the dark suburbs in Peachtree City. When I arrive at home, I pass the empty driveway to park around the block. Keeping up with his charade of being in lockup, Russ' GTO still sits at the other house, and if I know Kris, she's at her parents this weekend. Skulking around the backside of my neighbors' houses, I finally reach my back door and after fishing the spare key out of the small gardening box, I slip inside undetected. Casually walking through the kitchen toward the muted television flashing in the living room, I spot Russ passed out on the leather sofa.

"Hey sleeping beauty," I growl next to his ear before nuzzling my boot against his knee, draping off the edge. "Wake up Russ."

"What?" Russ moans all sleepy eyed. He scrubs his palms roughly over them and then pushes up to sit on the side of the sofa. "What time is it?" he asks around a yawn.

"Around three in the morning," I say plopping down beside him. "Tell me what was so important that you risked blowing my cover by calling me on my work cell."

"I tried your other one for two hours before I gave in and broke policy." He yawns again and stretches his arms above his head.

"Come on, let's get some coffee going and you can tell me what's up."

"Okay," Russ follows me into the kitchen and drags out a chair from the table to take a seat. "Did you have a nice time at the Kennedy mansion? God, do you know how long I wanted to get inside that big bastard?"

"It was extreme, that's for sure." I shrug, switching on the coffee pot. "I met Nelson. Well, actually I saw him and met Camille. I got lady woody watching him be so comfortable and free, completely unaware that the one who will bring his fucking ass down was sitting only inches away from him."

Russ chuckles while running a hand through his messy hair. "I have no doubts that you will do it too."

I pour the steaming hot coffee into two large mugs and pass one to Russ before taking the seat beside him. He glares at me for a brief moment and I notice that maybe he really is a little jealous that I'm on the inside where he wanted to be for over a year. I know that if the roles were reversed I would be madder than a motherfucker.

"I was set up," he states matter-of-factly.

"What?" I choke, sipping on my drink. "How? Who?"

"After the bust one of the DA's came to see me in lock up and told me that there were two uniforms on scene that were suspected to be tied to Kennedy."

"No shit?"

Bobbing his head, Russ continues, "Yeah, another one of the guys overhead one of them say that he picked me up just after crossing the state line. The guy he spoke to was the shift Sergeant who called for the shutdown of the eastbound side of the interstate about twenty minutes later."

"Okay, so who would set you up like that? It had to come from the inside. You didn't tell anyone other than me about the transport, right?"

"Nope," he confirms, taking a big gulp from his cup. "After you gave me Blues' card, I called him immediately. He had me come to his office in Atlanta and then I left from there to meet you. What doesn't add up is why Blues' would intentionally sabotage a shipment that big? Was it simply to get me out of the way?"

"Could it have been anyone else?" I ask, eliminating all of the possibilities before I decide on who I need to watch more.

"Decks," he states coolly. "How long after I was gone, did he come to you?"

I laugh loudly, clutching my hand around my waist. "Please do not tell me that you think Decks set you up so that he could secure a hook up with me."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, Sam."

"That is the most ridiculous shit I've ever heard, Russ. It has to be someone else."

I sit silently for a few minutes, sipping on my coffee while Russ pierces me with a serious glare. The heaviness in the air can be felt like a cement block strapped to my feet pulling me deeper into the center of a dark ocean of disbelief. I don't believe for a second that Decks would do something like this just so he could have me. Secrets are our life, and it's imperative that I don't let Russ know about what happened between me and Blues. He's certain that Decks is the one that rolled over on him and orchestrated the bust, but I don't think it's that simple. Blues is the one who gave him the transport, but what would he have to gain with compromising his business affairs. I need to get closer to him. After seeing me that night at Russ' house, could he have been pissed off enough to do something so shitty?

"Don't do anything foolish. If Decks is the one who set me up then just let it go. You know he won't admit to a damn thing anyway. Protect yourself and if shit goes down call me." My eyebrows arch up. "I'll be close by."

"I don't think that's a good idea. With all the eyes that the Kennedy's have lingering around you'll be made and then our entire case is wasted. I'm close Russ. Let me finish this."

"Dammit, Sam," he bolts up from his chair and storms around the kitchen, "I'm sending someone else in with you. I don't trust the fuckers even more now. If it is you that he's after then I can't leave you alone in there."

"No," I shout, reaching up for his arm and halting his tirade. "Give me two months. I'll get the information and we'll shut it down. But no one else is coming inside until then. We can't afford for anyone to get suspicious." He stares at me, clearly wanting to argue against my pleas. "Just until after the new year, Russ," I beg again.

Taking a seat again, Russ scrubs both hands over his head, dragging them down his face and I see the sadness veiling the usually happy sparkle in his eyes. He shakes his head slowly before letting out a heavy sigh.

"Sam, I trust you, but those bastards don't play. Someone will pay for this shipment gone wrong. Please keep your head down and watch your back." I nod, feeling relieved that he relented without a total meltdown.

"Alright, good," I smile sweetly and stand. "Is Kris at your folks?"

"Yeah, she's going to be pissed that you came here when she was gone."

"I hope to get back here soon. I'll leave her a note in her bathroom." He nods. "Well, gotta get back to the Kingston's" I place my coffee cup in the dishwasher and turn back around to face him. ". Hey, did you ever find out who else is working undercover inside the group?"

"No. Why? Do you have some suspicions?" He glares at me momentarily and begins shaking his head. "Whatever you're thinking, in that pretty little head of yours, forget it, I've already told you not to trust anyone."

I shrug and say, "I don't trust anyone. It was just a question."
Chapter Twenty-Six

"What the fuck?" I shout, rolling my head over the pillow and reaching over for my buzzing cell phone. With my eyes closed I press the call button and snap, "What!"

Heavy male chuckling on the other end makes me open my eyes, finding Decks name on the screen. "Well, good morning sunshine."

"Ugh, why are you calling me so damn early?" I growl, pulling the pillow over my face to block out the blaring sun streaking through the window blinds across the room.

"It's Monday," Decks singsongs, with another chuckle he adds, "I'll be over to pick you up in an hour."

"Fine," I muffle a reply from under the pillow.

"You better be out of that bed by the time I get there or you'll regret it."

"Shit, I'm up," I moan and whine, ending the call and throwing my heavenly pillow across the room at the piercing light. I roll out of the bed and drag my nearly dead body into the shower, knowing very well that Decks' threat is far from empty.

If it wasn't for the fact that he will follow through with dragging my ass out of this bed, I would stay tucked under the covers and sink back into the dream I was so rudely ripped away from. I hate to admit that I've been dreaming about Blues since the night we met and each vision is hotter than the last, albeit none are like the inferno that is the real thing. Lovers have taken me to heights that left my mind spinning from the altitude, but with Blues it is something more like astronomical.

In my fantasy, the way he looks at me, like a hunger crawling under his skin, is maddening. Blues is a starving man with only an appetite for one thing: me. His solid caress on my skin begins as a sizzle, expanding so quickly that it burns out my ability to draw in oxygen. Sipping on his dark, delicious lips is enough to make me give up all other decadent desserts for life. Nothing is sweeter than his lips, tongue, or flesh. Each sensation is incredible individually, but to experience all of it combined with him sliding his massive length into me takes me to a level of ultimate. Being a strong, independent woman in life is the way I like to play it, but in the bedroom I want a man to dominate me, take me and make me do things that I didn't even realize could be so enjoyable. Getting fucked from behind against a closed door has never even entered my fantasy world realm, and yet since Blues took me that way it's all I can fucking think about. _He's making me so dumb_.

I scrub the sleep out of my eyes, wash my hair and shave from hip to toe before climbing out of the shower. Dressing in a loose tee-shirt, soft white shorts and running shoes, I straighten my hair and loop it through a hair band to keep it out of my eyes while we move my junk. Jogging down the steps, I find Natalie in the kitchen, folding laundry.

"Boo," I shout, sneaking up behind her. She screams bloody murder, jumps and swats at me, but I duck away before she makes contact.

"Ah damn, you scared me." She giggles, placing the stacks of kid clothes into the laundry basket.

I pour a cup of coffee and sit at the table smiling at Simone's cheetah leotard on top of the clothes pile. "I'm beat, but Decks will be here in about fifteen minutes to move me out."

She nods then sits beside me. "I'm glad we got to stay up last night talking. I'm going to miss having you around." Natalie smiles and softly adds, "And I know Simone will be lost without her new best friend."

"Yeah, she won't have anyone to climb on anymore."

"Next week we're getting a babysitter and going to Holidays. Will you be there?"

Sipping from my cup, I shrug and say, "Probably. I think Decks goes every weekend, but even if he doesn't I'll be there if you're going."

"Awesome, and then Christmas is only a few weeks away. If you don't have plans, I would love for you to spend it with us." I wince and she adds, "You don't have to buy us anything."

"That's not it." I shake my head. "I don't know if I'll be around. My friend in Savannah wants me to visit her for the holidays and it has been forever since I've seen her." Truthfully, I'll be with Kris and her family only a few miles north of here, but I use Savannah as a diversion for this case.

"Oh, I understand. Well, we can celebrate once you get back," she says hopeful.

The doorbell rings and I glance at the time glowing on the microwave. Given that it has been exactly an hour since I've spoken with Decks, it's only logical that he's the one at the front door.

"I've got it," I say to Natalie. "We'll be out of here in about twenty minutes."

Walking out of the kitchen toward the front door, I glance back and see a frown bending on her lips. Her sadness tugs at my heart. I didn't think getting involved with anyone in this group would make me feel this way, but Natalie is such a genuinely good person that I know if we weren't on opposing sides of the drug war we would be friends for real. When all of this is said and done, she'll hate me...they always do.

Pulling open the door, I freeze, completely at a loss for words. Luckily for me, Decks shoves past the equally solidified statue of Blues, grabs me into a big bear hug and then spins me around the small front foyer so that I'm not left standing in the doorway looking like a complete dumb ass. Decks gingerly puts me back down on my feet with a kiss on my forehead.

"Aw, I'm kind of disappointed that you obeyed my order," Decks says with a sideways grin. "I was hoping to drag you out kicking and screaming. If you would have been naked that could have been a bonus."

"Shut up," I smack him before glancing back at a pissed off Blues. "What are you doing here?"

"Decks asked me to help him move a friend," he glances from me to Decks then adds, "I didn't know that it was you who's moving in with him."

"Does it matter?" Decks asks Blues before turning back to me with a more serious look on his face. "We have business to take care of afterward."

"Oh," I say, staring between the two men. "You know, I could take care of this myself if you two need to go ahead."

"Oh, no you don't," Decks argues grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together. "You're coming with us. I have something I want to show you."

Combinations of feelings wash through me, uneasiness with Blues being here to help move me into Decks' and beside myself with excitement that Decks is including me in their business affairs dominates all of them. I nod and turn around, walking back toward the kitchen. _Do not get caught up in Blues being here. Be cool_!

"Hey Nat," Decks says, following too close behind me.

"Hey, Decks," she says smiling at him then says, "Oh, hey Ethan. I had no idea you would be here helping move Angel into Decks' place."

"Hey Natalie," Blues says, leaning his back against the row of cabinets just inside the kitchen and running a hand roughly through his hair.

He appears displeased or annoyed. Clearly he believes that Decks and I are taking a serious step with our relationship. I'm kind of torn on how to handle things at this point. I had hoped that Blues would find out about my new address from another source, but it looks like fate wants to mess with me today. If I set the record straight in front of everyone maybe all things can still work out in my favor.

"I want to thank you again for letting me move in, Decks." I say honestly. "Most guys would assume that when a girl moves in with them that it's an automatic hook up. I'm glad we understand each other and plan to take things slowly."

Natalie giggles behind me and I turn around to see what is so funny. "I'm sorry, but that is a riot. Did he really promise you that he wouldn't jump your bones? Because we all know that he will break that promise tonight."

I break my gaze from her and look at Decks. His smile drops to a frown instantly after hearing her words. He crosses his arms over his chest while piercing her with an angry glare. And dammit, it ticks me off that she thinks I'm that naive.

"I trust him," I counter, lifting my chin defiantly and glancing back at her with a serious look to which she understands. Stealing a glance at the sex-god, I see insurmountable misery etched in his gorgeous face.

"Okay, then. I'm sorry," she says to me before turning to him. "You just better take care of my girl, Decks or you'll answer to me."

"That's all I want to do, Nat." Decks relaxes his harsh stance, smiles sincerely at her and then winks at me.
Chapter Twenty-Seven

Talk about feeling out of place. Decks wasn't really screwing with me when he said he would make room for me in his house. Needless to say being neighbors with Blues says it all. His house is just as extravagant as the other Kennedy home and makes Blues' mansion look like a middle income family dwelling. After parking my bike beside his truck, I hop off and we make quick work of unloading everything.

"So you'll be in the room next to mine," Decks says, glancing over his shoulder with a bad boy smirk as we climb the steps carrying my boxes up to the third level. I shake my head at his teasing.

"As you can tell I don't have much stuff so I don't need anything outrageous," I say, following him through the doorway of what is now my room. I stall seeing how large the space is and Blues bumps into me from behind.

"Sorry, Angel," Blues says in a low, smooth thundering tone too close to me, and after feeling the base of his voice, dummy me makes the big mistake of glancing back at him. A gazillion goose bumps rush along my skin and I shiver. He smiles seductively, completely proud of the fact that he makes my nerves of steel all gooey and stupid. He motions with his eyes for me to continue into the room and I think a breathy moan slips passed my parted lips because his eyes quickly drop to my mouth.

_Ah fuck, and I was doing so well_.

Shaking myself out of the inevitable Blues haze that I always seem to fall face first into, I clear my thoughts and throat, stumble ahead and gush, "Damn, this is a seriously ridiculous bedroom, Decks."

"Just the kind of room a girl could get used to, huh?" I chuckle inwardly thinking that any girl would be blown away with the extravagance and audacity of this room.

Instinctively, I cross toward the open walk-in closet wondering how pathetic my small amount of clothes will look hanging in there. "Uh, this is too much." I turn around and both guys are smiling at me. "What is it?"

"You're just so adorable," Decks says strutting over and wrapping me in a hug. "It's all yours for as long as you want to stay here."

"Thanks," I say, stealing a look at Blues who has his eyes locked onto mine. His eyebrows pinch together tightly hearing Decks' offer. My stomach flips seeing him distressed. Pulling out of the awkward embrace, I ask Blues, "Hey, your place is in this area isn't it?"

Nodding his head, he smiles wickedly and points to his left before saying, "We're neighbors. I'll be just next door if you need...some sugar." A devilish glint lights up his eyes at his double meaning and I shake my head at his playfulness. Starting this very second, I'm purging all sugar from my diet.

"I'll keep that in mind." I smirk before asking, "Now, where are we going?"

"The new house," Decks answers. "I found a sweet place that will act as a new stash location."

"Huh?" I ask, faking confusion for his benefit. "I thought you were looking for a new sale house."

"I got that last week. Set up Minder and Murph to work it. They brought in a couple of newbies so it would be overkill to have all of us there. Besides after Rad's bust I needed to relocate a couple of our supplies."

"Do you think the cops were on to those places too?" I ask, shifting my eyes between the two men, studying their reactions.

"No," Blues responds for him. "Cops are the least of our worries." _Interesting._ How many do they have on their payroll?

"Right," Decks nods agreeably, "We have some pissed off customers who could wreak some major havoc. So to keep everyone safe we shifted some stuff around."

"Pissed off, how?" I ask, chewing on my bottom lip nervously, hoping that they will feel the need to divulge more to a worried girl than a tough chick.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, sweetness," Decks says sliding his hand up my arm. "The shipment was bought and paid for but seized before we could deliver it. The receiving party isn't too pleased that their shit was taken and that they're out a whole helluva lot money."

"Seriously Decks, she doesn't need to know everything." Blues growls angrily, walking over to us, his body bowing down as he hovers over me. His sexy scent stirs through the small space separating us provoking my willpower. "Angel, you really don't have to worry about anyone fucking with you." His voice softens attempting to reassure me that I am safe with him. "With me...and Decks around no one will get close enough to even smell your perfume so it will be impossible for you to get caught in the crossfire of retaliation." Remaining calm, I nod my head slowly while walking away from them to sit on the edge of the bed.

Hearing this isn't a surprise to me. Retaliation is common in this world. The shipment the X'kapz lost in the bust was worth millions. Whoever the ripped off party is will surely look for retribution. I've seen paybacks before and they're ugly. I actually worked a case a couple of years back that ended in an execution of an entire gang in South Carolina. The dead guys all belonged to a newly formed group running guns and because of their inexperience they made some stupid mistakes that cost them dearly.

"Hey," Decks walks over and stands in front of me, "You can stay here instead if you want to chill for a little while. I just thought it would be cool if you were with me on opening day." He shrugs, looking down at me.

"I'm okay," I assure him offering an encouraging smile. "I was really just thinking about Rad. Do you think he's safe in jail?"

Decks shrugs one shoulder, appearing indifferent with the mention of Russ's name, so I glance over to Blues measuring his response. Striding toward the doorway, his eyebrows are drawn in tightly and it definitely seems that he's showing concern...at least that's what I think I'm reading in his tense expression. Damn it's difficult to tell from their opposing reactions which one of them set up Russ. My gut leans toward Blues and he does kind of look guilty, but with Decks acting like he doesn't give a fuck then maybe he did it and just doesn't have any remorse. _Shit, I don't know._

I scrub my hand over my face. "I don't even know why I'm thinking about his sorry ass since he dumped me," I offer smiling and looking between them.

"Cool," Decks says, pulling on my hand and tugging me off the bed. "Let's go then. You can unpack later."

Leaving my new, and hopefully short-term, bedroom, Decks tows me behind him with our hands linked together. Blues is standing by the door as we pass and the heated glare he's giving me is confusing. Is he pissed that I'm tagging along? With Decks completely unaware of our silent exchange, Blues sweeps a hand up and touches my neck with the lightest stroke of his fingers against my flesh. Just that one little touch beckons images of his hot fingers doing bad things to my body and I begin to feel woozy. _What just happened_?

"Bathroom?" I ask with a hoarse voice, tugging on Decks' hand.

"Oh yeah," he chuckles. "Besides the one you have in your bedroom the only other bathroom up here is in my room. Want to check it out?" He asks pointing toward the closed door of his bedroom and then down the hallway. "The other room is my gym."

"Nah, I was just wondering how many bathrooms are on this level," I lie. I really needed a moment to figure out why he felt the need to touch me and to compose myself, but I sure as hell won't be going into Decks' bedroom if I can help it. And what the hell is up with Blues today?

We leave the house in Decks' Escalade going north on interstate seventy-five. My gut begins to churn with nausea as we continue on for another twenty minutes, on a direct path toward my house. Luckily we exit a few miles south of Canton and drive into the suburbs of Woodstock. Even though it's about five miles from Canton, it's still too close for my comfort. I have to just hope that while working in the area I don't run into anyone I know. A niggling sensation begins to alert me that more is going on here than I can see. Man, if they've made me and I'm heading into a trap this will end badly for me.

Decks pulls into the driveway of a cute little ranch style house surrounded by a golf course. Shivers run through me as I think about the unsuspecting neighbors of this quaint little neighborhood being dragged into this bullshit. No, this isn't the only storage house Decks has, he admitted to that earlier and I'm realistic, but now I'm feeling leery with these people getting so damn close to Kris.

"We'll have visitors soon," Decks says to Blues as we enter the house.

"What do you want me to do?" I ask Decks while pulling a bogus smile and standing up straight, encouraging him to give me a job.

"You, my little hotness, will stay with me," he croons before walking down the hallway with a heavy dose of self-assurance in his swagger, looking like a peacock strutting his tail feathers.

Obediently, I follow behind and discover inside the back room Decks already has an office set up. Taking in the surroundings I notice this house is much larger and completely different from the trap house. It's clean with better furniture and void of random junkies passed out all over the place. I sit down on the leather love seat while Decks and Blues sidle up to the massive oak desk positioned on the far wall.

They begin to converse about shipments moving in and who will be the new transporters. Apparently they have been debating on giving Murph a shot. I giggle silently when they discuss him possibly being an undercover police officer. It's likely he could be, but I haven't seen proof of it and wonder what makes them lean toward him being untrustworthy. While discussing several topics the front doorbell rings. Decks excuses himself to answer it, saying he is expecting a new guy. Blues shifts around in his seat, looking at me with an interesting burn in his eyes.

"Whatever happens, promise me that you'll just stay quiet," he sighs pitifully, and that one little sound does something to me. I don't like the fluttering feeling I'm getting in my chest because of it so I'm going to ignore it. "Angel, please don't visit here with him too often." I simply nod. Hearing Decks talking with someone as he enters the room again, I'm happier than I've ever been having him near me. Looks like he's going to operate as a buffer between me and Blues. I pull my eyes away from Blues and turn to see who the guest is joining us.

"Blues, I'd like you to meet Mark," Decks says, pointing at the scrawny, tall guy with suspicious eyes, twitching like a meth-head needing his next hit.

Correcting Decks immediately, the guy shouts, "Call me Mad Hatter."
Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Who is she?" Mad Hatter growls viciously, pointing at me while backing away from the desk toward the door, trying to escape from the room. "What the fuck, Decks?"

"Dude you need to chill the hell out coming in my place of business acting all stupid," Decks growls angrily, "Angel is with me."

Typically, I keep my temper in check and never lose control unintentionally. I only shout when I really want to prove a point. And I am never a trembling mess of girly-girl. Right now though, I can't explain exactly what's happening, but just seeing this evil son of a bitch this close to my private world scares the living hell out of me. I'm finding it difficult to swallow and my pulse is a raging base drum beat in my ears, muting out all sound. I flick my eyes to Blues urgently begging him to do something; I don't know what, but absolutely anything would be great because I'm nervous as a motherfucker for real. He rises from his seat, moving quickly toward me while Decks follows the retreating paranoid lunatic out of the room.

"Hey Doll," Blues reaches a hand down, taking mine and lifting me from the love seat. "Come here."

A warm embrace collects me, rubbing his hands up and down my back, soothing. His methodic strokes ebb away my tremors to a mild shake. My face buries deeply into his chest and I take slow calming breaths, wondering how the hell I'm going to explain my freaked out reaction after seeing the one person who would love to blow my cover.

"Sorry," I turn my head, pressing my cheek against his chest and lie, "That guy reminded me of my ex. He...he was hooked on meth and it made him _crazy_."

"Sure," he says over the top of my head, still holding me tightly and I pull away slowly, looking up into his eyes.

"Thanks," I whisper before turning away and retreating back to my seat. My face is tinting pink with shame.

"Is there anything I can get you?" He sits down beside me, staring with concern shining in his sapphire eyes.

"No, really I'm okay. I haven't slept well the past couple of nights," I admit, flushing a deep cabernet hue when I realize I just confessed that truth to the object of my restless nights. "I think maybe I should get Decks to take me home."

"I'll take you home, Angel. Wait here." Blues rises from the seat, leaving me alone in the room.

After a few minutes Blues returns with the keys to Decks' truck. We pass by Mad Hatter, glaring at me and I notice the crazy fucker is wearing orange and white Halloween pajama pants covered with skulls and black cats along with a white wife beater. _Jesus he is so weird_. Blues stays quiet the whole drive over back to Decks' house. I feel like I need to explain more, but I can't tip him off to my cover so I follow his lead and stay silent too.

Pulling into the driveway, Blues spots my motorcycle. "That's one hot little kitten you have there."

"You think she's hot?" I utter a low hoarse sound that possibly came out as a complete sentence; my voice is as pathetic as my self-control right now. He bites his bottom lip and nods, still staring at my bike. "I do too." Seeing his appreciation for my baby, I giggle softly and then lie, "I spent my first paycheck from the TatHouse on her." I blush daydreaming about him riding bitch, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tightly. _Dammit, Sam!_

"Well," he sighs, "I'll walk you to the door."

"Not necessary," I assure him, seeing my opportunity to get away within reach. I open the truck door and hop out. "I'll see you later," I offer the obligatory send-off, and look back at him still sitting inside, gripping the hell out of the steering wheel.

"Bye Angel," he says solemnly.

Before reaching the door, I hear Blues voice and turn around. "Wait Angel," he's out of the truck and walking over in a flash. He rakes his right hand through his tangled hair on the side of his head before looking straight at me. "I can't let what we did happen again," he says, eyebrows pinched together. "It's just best if –"

"It's fine." Nodding my head, I interrupt his excuse and with a sweet smile I add, "I don't expect anything from you Blues and I completely agree."

"Damn," he mumbles. "Okay," He stares at me and I don't even blink knowing that this suggestion is for the best. "Then have a good night, Angel."

I enter Decks' house, not waiting for Blues to leave, and rush up to my room. Needing to know Kris is still safe, I dig inside my bag searching for my disposable phone and text her. Mad Hatter is too damn close to my real life and I don't like it one damn bit. Kris doesn't answer so I leave her a message, asking her to call or text me. About two hours later, Decks arrives home and I jog downstairs to greet him.

"Hey," I say catching him off guard.

Decks chuckles walking over to the staircase. "It's so cool having you waiting on me to get home, but I kind of forgot you were here."

I smile and say, "I'm sorry I freaked out earlier."

"Don't worry about. Blues explained everything." He pulls me into a hug, rubbing his hand down my back. "I don't blame you. Mark is weird as hell."

I sigh. "Are you sure you're not angry with the way I behaved?"

"Of course." He pulls away and smiles that damn adorable lopsided grin and asks, "Would you like to go get dinner?"

His smile grows when I nod. "Give me about twenty minutes and I'll be ready."

"Dress for something outrageous," he says teasingly as I rush back up the stairs.

Almost an hour later we are dining at an elite country club located in downtown Buckhead. It caters to an exclusive society made up of moguls and their ditsy housewives, who believe they are just as powerful as their affluent husbands simply because they flash black AmEx cards and drive fancy cars, ridiculously swaying their little part of the world.

"I have to fly out to the east coast early in the morning for a meeting with a potential...backer," Decks says before putting a bite of steak in his mouth.

"Okay," I smile. "That sounds interesting."

"It's better than interesting babe. It's fucking rockin' as hell." He grins salaciously. "This guy has connections and an organization that makes my business look infantile. After this meeting I speculate that we'll be a damn superpower, completely untouchable baby."

"Wow," I say excitedly, shocked that he is comfortable sharing this much information with me and wonder if I can get him to admit more, but I must play it just right. "I won't ask about your business, but I would like to know more about you."

"How about I show you more?" Wiggling his eyebrows, he grins wickedly and I shake my head while pulling a fake smile at his crudeness. "I love it when you blush." He follows with a wink then shrugs his shoulders before digging into his food and telling his story between bites.

"I moved in with my uncle after my parents died in a plane crash when I was fifteen. Lourdes was already in college. Their death rocked me. I got mixed up with some guys who were bad news. They were heavy into drugs, but we were a bunch of broke ass punks so we stole for every hit. It didn't take long for us to get busted and when I got thrown in juvie my uncle had one hell of a come apart." He pauses briefly to stare at me and then says, "Rad's hearing is coming up next week. He will be facing some hard time."

Sipping on my drink, I tilt my head slightly taken aback by his quick subject change and say, "We weren't together that long, Decks. It may sound harsh since I wanted to stay with him through this shit, but I just can't do it. My probation officer had a fit when he found out. He's threatened to revoke my orders if I don't stay the hell away from Rad. I liked him well enough, but I'm not going back to jail for some guy." I shrug my shoulder and sip my wine again.

"Cool. I don't want you seeing him again," he says smiling proudly.

"Why is that?"

After glancing down at his beer he lifts his eyes to mine and then says, "I want to be with you Angel. I know you probably want more time, but I got this feeling about us that I can't dismiss."

_Fuck_. I can't be with Decks, not like he wants us to be. I don't want him and even for a job I refuse to compromise. "Decks," I start, but he interrupts before I can pull a half-ass excuse out of thin air.

"Angel, I can wait on sex, but I want you to be mine. I don't want any other guys putting you in their sights. You are so damn cool and I like having you around." He stares at me another second before averting his eyes away and repeating, "I want you."

I've never really wanted a relationship with a man. Fulfilling sexual needs is the only reason I've ever had a guy around. Every time I hear a guy say he wants me I cringe. It's never about a want. It is always only about needs and I'll never need a man so badly that I'll screw Decks.

"I just can't right now, Decks," I admit pinning him with a determined stare.

"Okay, that wasn't no." He smiles. "I'll take it."

"Decks," I tilt my head slightly and ask, "if I say no are you going to kick me out?"

"What? No," his eyebrows pinch down. "I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a piece of shit babe. I'll wait."

"No, absolutely not," I shake my head adamantly. "That isn't fair for either of us. You shouldn't wait on someone who isn't emotionally available and I will feel pressured into something I'm not ready for if you wait. So please, do us both a favor and don't."

"Damn," Decks huffs, takes a large swig from his beer and then places the empty bottle on the table. "You're crushing my ego, but I'll give you this, you are right. Okay, I don't want to pressure you so I'll do my thing, but I promise not to bring babes back home." Something about this commitment feels weird. He backed off way too easily for my liking.
Chapter Twenty-Nine

Just after dawn I hear a car arrive to take Decks to the airport. I hop out of bed, watching it drive away before I pull out my personal cell and send a quick text off to Russ. I want him to know about the meeting and to let him know that the X'kapz's are still concerned about his case, at least Decks is keeping tabs. Whether it's just because of the simple attraction to me or something else, he is making Russ' case a priority and that bothers the hell out of me. I was hoping that he would be a fading memory for the group, but I'm beginning to realize that this job is different from all the others I've had before and that I should just start expecting the unexpected.

After changing into my running clothes, I read Russ' reply asking me to meet him today. I reply, telling him to meet me at one this afternoon in the probation office, that way I can use my cover just in case Decks is having me watched. I won't be naive and believe that he's letting me get away with the waiting game. There is definitely something swirling around in that naughty head of his, but whatever it takes he will believe that he can trust everything I tell him.

The early morning cool temperatures and low humidity today are optimal for a nice hard run. I've been slacking on my usual workout routine, but now that I'm free for the day I am going to take advantage of this short time alone and get in a good one. It feels great to push my body through the hard run around the quiet neighborhood. The houses here are all mansions crammed in against each other on a one hundred acre mountain top overlooking the lake that links Buckhead to Atlanta. I take a well worn trail that leads along the edge of the mountainside, enjoying my first real alone time since starting this job. After reaching the back edge of the property, I loop back retracing my path.

A minute later I spot a man running my direction about two hundred yards in front of me and I focus on his muscles contracting with each push and pull of his limbs. His thighs and calves are well formed and since he's only wearing running shorts, I can see that his glistening abs' are carved divinely. His arms whip backward and forward like a well tuned machine and the muscles encasing them are thick and powerful. My eyes linger on his baroque physic a little longer than they should, allowing him to approach and catch me checking him out like a Rembrandt hanging in the British Museum. I falter at his dazzling white smile made brighter by his dark suntan and nearly fall when I realize that the body belongs to the man I need to quit ogling over every time he's around.

"Good morning," I watch Blues mouth a greeting as he slows his run to a jog while continuing toward me. I smirk, wiggle my fingers and then point toward my ear buds before averting my eyes quickly back to the path ahead.

While passing him, I pray that he doesn't try to stop me and I couldn't be happier when I get exactly what I hoped for. I need this run for more than the physical results; it helps clear my head of all the bullshit. If Blues would have stopped me for even just a quick chat it most definitely could have turned into another huge mistake. Seeing him with minimal clothing covering his sweat-soaked body is heart-stopping. For someone in as good a shape as I am, I'm panting far too hard. Being out here alone with Blues, looking that fucking hot, is very, very bad for my health. Suddenly I feel like I need to run faster. I crank the volume on my mp3 player strapped around my arm and kick up my pace.

Passing Blues' house, I slow down to a reasonable speed and then run around the side of Decks' mansion toward the pool house. Before slipping into a swimsuit I take a quick shower to rinse off the sweat and to cool down my sizzling skin. Allowing the water to cascade over my head and back, I close my eyes tilting my face downward.

"Damn," I groan, thinking about Blues' muscles stretched and taunt. I imagine how amazing he must have looked while he climbed on top of me holding his weight off of my body just before we had sex. Although I felt each flex under my fingertips, it was too dark to see all the definition.

"Get it together," I encourage while tying the string of my top around my neck. I drop the hair band on the counter top and step outside. It's too cold to swim, but Decks keeps his pool heated during the winter so I dive in and find a good pace as I skim atop the crystal clear water.

Avoiding thoughts of Blues, I work through the details of this assignment and know that soon I will have to break through with one of the members. I need someone in tight with the X'kapz to trust me enough to roll over on this whole organization. The dream scenario would be for Blues to give up everything on Nelson since he probably knows the most. Then we can move him into witness protection. Since he was once a police officer I doubt he would take the deal. He's apparently been through too much to give a damn about helping others anymore and is now a selfish bastard. Whatever Wise's deal is, I'm not sure he's high up enough on the totem pole to provide specifics to shut down an operation of this magnitude. That leaves me with Decks. He knows everything and is in the deepest with the family connection. Apparently he likes to be a hands-on kind of guy since he works the trap house and is now setting up the new host houses.

What could he be up to with Mad Hatter? I know he doesn't need a two timing piece of shit like that working his sell house, the fucker would use up all of his drugs. Working in the storage house wouldn't be much better since it would be like a fucking Costco wholesale warehouse to him. His involvement with Mad must be related to the flight out to the Atlantic coast. Whoever this new investor is must be bringing in something more than Nelson has to offer with his Mexican cartel connections. This shit is getting weirder by the day.

Finishing up my swim, I rush through another shower and dress casually for my probation meeting and grab my gear off the table in the front foyer. Just before starting my bike I spot Blues jogging behind me in the middle of the road. I switch on the ignition and roll down the driveway. He's already passed me when I pull down to the main road, but stops and turns around toward me. A big grin spreads across his face as his eyes devour me on my motorcycle. I smile smugly knowing that I am any guy's fantasy at this precise moment, but even more so for Blues. He's had me in his bed so he knows I can handle this beast between my legs. Blues stands there; chest heaving and sweat rolling down his body looking like my exact fantasy too. Our eyes meet and he drops his grin to something a lot more sinister.

I'm sure that he's thinking about replacing the beast that's positioned between my legs which is exactly why I need to stay away from him. If we start something while I'm trying to get Decks' cooperation it will fuck up everything. I tilt my chin upward, acknowledging him as I pass by and then gun the hell out of the throttle. The ride into town isn't far from Decks' place. I park in the adjacent parking lot and then walk into the probation office.

"May I help you?" the sweet lady behind the front desk asks.

I smile and nod, "Yes ma'am. I'm here to meet with my P.O. My name is Angel Johnson."

"Have a seat and I'll notify Mr. Stevens that you are waiting."

"Thank you." I take a seat next to the other twenty people in the small waiting room.

"Ms. Johnson," a heavyset man announces, poking his head around the door leading down the hallway toward the back offices.

I rise and say, "That's me."

"I'm Mr. Stevens," he states. "Follow me."

We walk all the way to the back of the hall and he turns down another long corridor leading me past all of the private offices. When we reach the administrators office, he pushes open the door and gestures me inside. I spot Russ immediately.

"There isn't video surveillance in this room," Mr. Stevens says, closing the door behind him and leaving us alone.

"So Decks and Mad Hatter? That's fucked up." Russ grins staring up at me from his seat behind the desk.

"Yep, I'm a little freaked out about it. Something isn't adding up about his involvement with the X'kapz." I take the open seat in front of him.

"You won't like what I'm about to tell you, but we have an unreliable giving up some pretty good information on Mad working for someone under Dr. A's direct order."

I stare at him and wonder what in the hell has gotten into my department. First the Captain and now Russ is buying into the bullshit story of Dr. A being real. Plus, this implausible fact was given to him by a nark that hasn't proved to be a reliable source of information. A new awareness moves through my mind and I wonder if Decks could be putting himself into some kind of new danger. The stories surrounding the infamous drug lord, combined with Mad Hatters involvement doesn't settle well in my belly.

Relenting to the possibility that there may be something seriously messed up going on, I sigh before asking, "Who is the source?"

"Arch Bishop," he says beaming with pride and I shake my head, disbelieving that he can trust anything that the well known storyteller inside the X'kapz says.
Chapter Thirty

Three days pass with no word from Decks. I don't have feelings for the drug dealer in the least bit. However, after hearing Russ' fearful concerns about this new drug shipping into the US, I might begin to worry about the legitimacy of the legendary cockamamie story and what it all could mean for my safety.

According to some of the reports, Russ gathers that the drug known as Ryske is being manufactured in England and then shipped into the states through small islands. Drug runners find vacant beach front houses to store the drugs in until they can push them onto the local drug dealers while sending small packages into the states by personal watercraft. It's easier to sneak a small boat passed the watchful eye of the coast guard than a large shipping vessel.

Hospitals around the east coast have seen a rash of deaths along with unexplained behaviors from the usage of Ryske. With little to go on since they haven't seized any shipments yet, all the DEA can tell us at this point is that the drug is a deadly mixture of illegal amphetamines, sedatives and an undetermined substance. The drug users' description of the effects it is having on them has the doctors believing that it must be a man made mind manipulator, affecting each person differently. Lucky for our side of the drug war, not many shipments have been delivered into North America. The unlucky part is that not once has the coast guard busted a boat transporting the shit either.

On my ride back to Decks' house after leaving Russ, I recall my first day at the grungy trap house and remember Lourdes bitching about the decline of their sales of cocaine because of some _risky_ drug. Clearly she wasn't too familiar with it at the time. But if my gut is correct Decks is one of the locals in Georgia who will be signing up to receive and distribute Ryske. If so, we'll all become very familiar with it soon.

Sitting at my booth at the tattoo shop waiting for my next client to arrive, I get a text from Natalie asking if I'm interested in joining them for a drink at Holidays tonight and I tell her that I'll drop by after work around ten. I drop my phone into my bag and spot a young woman entering through the front door. With our front desk girl on another cigarette break, I assist her.

"Hey, welcome to the TatHouse. Do you have an appointment?" I ask, pulling up the schedule on the computer.

She smiles sweetly and bobs her head yes, making her cork screw reddish brown curls bounce wildly. "Yes, I believe I'm with Angel."

"That's me," I say before turning and walking around the counter to join her. "You must be Chelsea."

"I am."

"Do you have something in mind or do you need some time to look through the drawings?"

"I know what I want." She unfolds a piece of paper and thrusts it at me. "Can you do this?"

I glance down at the paper and decipher the Spanish words, _esperando en un angel, porque no quiero ir sola_ into "waiting for an angel, because I don't want to go alone" scrolling down like a stem from the rose above it.

"It's cool. Do you know where it's going and what color you want the rose?"

She nods and thrusts both thumbs toward the space between her shoulder and right breast. "Yep, right here and I want the rose red."

"Okay, let's get started then."

After prepping everything, I get Chelsea set up at my station and apply the transfer to her pale skin. Hoping to keep her mind off the pain, I get her talking casually about general bullshit for the first few minutes.

"Where are you from Chelsea?"

"Alabama. I moved here about two months ago. I visited with some friends back in the spring and met a really cool dude. He let me move in with him and we're kind of getting serious." She smiles sweetly, her dark brown eyes light up while talking about her new love interest.

"That's cool. Are you in school or working in the area?"

She shakes her head and I watch her smile fall. "No, I left school a few months ago and worked around at a lot of places before moving. I just haven't found my thing yet."

"Your thing? What is it you like to do?"

"I love to draw and hang out with cool people. I would love to work in a place like this one."

"Yeah, it's a great place to work at. My boss is totally the best." I grin, finishing up the outline of her rose. "Do you need a break?"

"Can I get a quick smoke?"

"Absolutely, I'll grab something to drink and be back here in a few minutes. Can I get you anything?" I toss my rubber gloves into the trash and fish in my pocket for some cash.

"Water?" Chelsea asks and I nod.

We step outside together, she goes around the side of the building toward her car and I cross the street after the traffic light at the intersection changes to red, halting the heavy flow of vehicles. I grab our waters and head back over to the shop, bumping into my boss rushing out the front door.

"Hi ya, Trevor," I say, jumping out of his way.

"In a hurry Angel," he says quickly. I push open the door and laugh at him because he's always in a hurry. "I'll see you tomorrow."

After another fifteen minutes Chelsea doesn't show and I begin to wonder if the girl skipped out on me. I glance over at the other artist, currently working on a full back design as I walk toward the front door. Chelsea step through before I have a chance to open it.

"There you are," I say watching her eyes languidly land on me as she smiles.

"Sorry," is all she offers, as we return to my station.

"This is the worst part," I say, starting the fill in on her design.

"Yeah, I have others. I can handle it," Chelsea says smiling. "I see your diamond on your wrist. Does it have meaning behind it?

"They're unbreakable, sort of a goal of mine," I answer honestly.

"Do you have others?"

I nod before answering, "Yeah, I have ten in all."

"Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that many." Her eyes sparkle with shock.

"Really?" I frown, "Why not?"

She shrugs her shoulder and I pull back so I don't screw up her tattoo. "I don't know. You just don't look like the type of chick to get so many tattoos."

I laugh. "What type of girl do you think I am?"

"The good type," she says flatly, glancing away from me. "Definitely not like me."

"Aw, I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself."

"Nah, I'm a waste of space according to my ex-boyfriend, but you're like freaking perfect."

While shaking my head, I growl before snapping on her, "Fuck perfect! There's no chance in hell that I'm perfect. Looks are totally deceiving Chelsea." I lean down, starting on her design again. "Don't buy into that shit your ex is feeding you either. People say bullshit all of the time to just hurt others. He is your ex after all and there's a reason for that. Clearly he wasn't good enough for you."

"Shit. I doubt I'll ever find the one. Mr. _Perfect_ doesn't exist for me. Have you ever been in love?" Chelsea asks, staring up at the ceiling.

"Nope, and I'm not looking either."

"You don't have to look." I quirk an eyebrow up and wonder what the hell her statement means. She giggles, causing her chest to bounce and I stop working again. "Have you ever once looked in the damn mirror? I bet guys fucking throw themselves at your feet." She continues to giggle and then slurs, "I would love to look like you."

"It's not at all like that for me. If guys were that ridiculous I wouldn't date them for sure. I like guys who have a shred of self-respect and can handle themselves in every situation." I watch her eyes glaze over and shift the subject. "Besides you are adorable. I'm sure you get more than your fair share of hot guys. I bet other women hate you for being so damn tiny and a total bombshell."

"No, not really. The only thing..." She slides her eyes close as her words trail off.

"Chelsea?" I ask, watching her eyes open into a slit. "Are you okay honey?"

She smiles weakly, "Yeah, I think I buzzed."

"What?" I keep my voice controlled, hoping that I don't freak her out while studying her. "You must be on some good shit."

Chelsea nods and her grin widens, "Yeah, my roommate hooked me up with some Ryske last night. It's a freaking crazy ride."

"Shit," I mumble, but recover quickly. "I've heard of it, but haven't come across anyone with a hook up. I might need to meet your friend." She nods her head, closing her eyes again. "Well Chels', since you're wasted I can't finish this thing today. So we'll need to reschedule you." I begin putting away my equipment. "And next time don't get high until after I'm done."
Chapter Thirty-One

After three glasses of twenty year old Kentucky whiskey, I'm tingly enough to succumb to Natalie coercing me to join her on the dance floor. We dance playfully around the floor to the slow jazz music. She gets freaky a couple of times, running her hands down my sides and squeezing my ass, but it doesn't bother me. She's definitely had a lot to drink tonight. Truly, everyone is having a great time, including me. I finally talked Chelsea into letting me call 911 and have her checked out. They took her to the emergency room and I called before coming to Holidays to check on her status. Since I'm not family they wouldn't tell me specifics, but said she would be released soon and that bit of information thoroughly calms my anxieties. That scene scared the shit out of me.

Rolling my hips to the sensual vibes playing on the jukebox, I twist around slowly facing our table. While I've been on the floor, Blues arrived. He's leaning with his back against the large post next to our table watching me while smoking. The heat that shifts through my body with his eyes latched onto me is all consuming and burning hotter than the fire at the end of his cigarette. I smile imagining that he is visualizing peeling off my clothing and wishing that he was taking me hard. Teasingly, my hands roam all over my body and his eyes shift to annoyed. I spin around laughing at how incredibly foolish I'm behaving. I don't know what the hell has gotten into me. It's not like he is really that interested in me and I know better than to play this dangerous game, but fuck I can't stop thinking about being with him. _I need him again_.

Natalie grabs my arm, pulling me toward the bar. "I need to quench my thirst."

I snort, "Me too," but my reasons aren't because of our dirty dancing. "Can I get another?" I beg the bartender propping my hip against the high back barstool.

"I want a Peachtini." Natalie smiles at him before glancing back at me. "You are a naughty girl Angel."

"Whatever," I laugh hard and shake my head. "You're really making Wise a crazy man grabbing my ass right in front of his face."

"God, he loved that shit. His eyes nearly popped out of his head." She bounces on her feet while throwing her head back. "I'm so getting some tonight." _Lucky bitch!_

I take my drink, that the bartender passes me and sip slowly. Natalie accepts her drink and then turns around stumbling back over to our table. Luckily Blues isn't there when we return. Ah, who the hell am I'm kidding? I'm absolutely crushed, but what disappoints me even more is finding Lourdes with a snarky glare sitting mixed in among my group.

"Hi Lourdes," Natalie giggles, taking her seat and sliding over for me to join her in the booth.

"Hello," Lourdes replies, watching both of us with a suspicious spark in her eyes. "Who was that display for?" She asks Natalie, but I respond instead.

"That was for us." I smile sweetly. Pushing her annoyance with me is one of the easiest things to do. "We don't do anything for anyone else." I bump Natalie playfully and she smiles while nodding her head in agreement.

"Interesting," Lourdes snaps through a forced grin, leaning forward, "I don't doubt _you_ do everything with selfish intentions." She knows that my statement wasn't anything like what she's implying. Lourdes is just being a bitch and I'm not going to let her get to me.

The band begins playing and this time I sit so that I can watch them. Blues isn't actually in the band. He just joins them on occasion so for now it's just the three original members. Finally, after a couple of songs Blues is brought on stage, but he isn't in my direct line of sight. The crowd in front of us blocks him and in order for me to see him, one of us would have to slide over. I catch Lourdes staring at me a few times. After each one she lets her hate filled eyes linger before shifting her full attention back to the band. I just keep replaying the whole conversation between Decks and his aunt about her hating me because she's jealous and keep my mouth shut.

"Would you like to dance?" A sexy deep voice purrs. I smile after turning and glancing up at Decks.

"Hey you," I say, reaching up for his offered hand. "Welcome home."

He wraps me in a tight embrace and moves us to the slow groves of the sultry music. Surprisingly his hands, remaining around my back behave. He leans down placing his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes.

"I missed you," Decks says seriously and I nod hoping to get away without responding verbally.

"I didn't know you were coming back tonight. Actually I didn't know when to expect you back."

"Sorry, I got caught up in the excitement of how well the business meeting went and hung around for a couple of days. I didn't have cell service or I would have texted you."

"Wait Decks," I cut him off, needing to clarify. "I didn't mean for you to think you need to check in with me. I was simply making a statement."

"It's cool babe, but," he smiles, "I liked thinking about you wanting me back sooner."

Now his hands roam along my sides, landing on my hips and pulling me closer against him. His thick erection presses into my belly and I glance up, noticing his eyes darkening with desire. I put my hands on his shoulders, pushing away from him slightly.

"You'll need to calm down." I say, arching an eyebrow. "Please tell me that you remember what we discussed before you left."

Sighing, he lowers his eyes to my lips and I know that he really wants to kiss me, but I just can't do it. Without him noticing, I roll my eyes at his reaction and in the process they land on the man standing center stage narrowing his eyes on us. I can't understand all of these confusing looks that Blues keeping giving, but for someone who doesn't want me, I'm beginning to think he isn't succeeding in that belief at all.

"You're killing me Angel," Decks says, pulling me back into his arms securely. "I remember what we talked about, but I wanted to give you another chance to change your mind."

"Let's get a drink," I say twisting out of his embrace and grabbing his hand tugging him toward our table.

"How's it hanging, Decks?" Wise asks jokingly, slapping hands with his buddy before stating in a serious tone, "We need to talk."

Releasing me, Decks nods his head and motions toward the back of the bar. Wise follows him through the large crowd on the dance floor, leaving behind the rest of his guys. I am dying to know what is so serious that Wise needed to speak to Decks the minute he gets back.

"I'm going to the little girl's room," I say leaning into Natalie and thankfully she just nods rather than offering to join me. I steal a quick glance at Blues as he starts another song and realize it's the same song he heard me listening to when he intruded on my hot tub time. He twists to the right slightly, following me all the way with his eyes while he croons through the sexy Miles Davis song.

"It doesn't look good on our part. He wants action not excuses." I hear Wise shout as I pass the men's room. I stop in front of the door leaning my back against it to eavesdrop.

"I've got it covered," Decks growls angrily. "And I don't need you telling me how to run my goddamn business. Just do the fucking job I pay you to do."

"Easy man," Wise says. "I don't doubt you're all over it. I'm just relaying what Juan told me yesterday. He's antsy as hell to get his shipment replaced. You know as well as I do that he will retaliate soon if we don't meet his demands."

"You know what, fuck him. All I care about is what happens next. We're getting this bullshit settled and then leaving Juan's demands behind so we can move onto bigger and better brother."

"Fine," Wise relents and before the bathroom door jerks open I spin around, pretending I'm exiting from the ladies room.

"Angel?" Wise says, spotting me first.

"Hey guys," I smile, but neither of them drop their scowls as they allow me to pass in front of them striding back toward the front of the bar.

I'm happy that I overheard all that I did, but now I'm anxious to pass it along to Russ so he can get down to the bottom of who the pissed off party is. Now that a true retaliation is anticipated I will be extra cautious when hanging out with the X'kapz.
Chapter Thirty-Two

I've tried the best I can for the past thirty minutes not to stare. I fail miserably. Seeing Lourdes hand lying on Blues lap across the booth from me is driving me fucking mad. I hate her touching him, but he's just sitting there lifeless and cold. Not once has he made eye contact with me either. He knows that I can clearly see everything she is doing to him, confirming that he absolutely doesn't want anything more that the one-night stand we had over four months ago.

A Harry Connick, Jr. song begins playing and all the couples move to the dance floor. I shake my head letting Decks know that I'm not really in the mood for his groping. I watch Blues snake his arms around Lourdes impossibly tiny waist while she presses her body into him hard. The distant look in his eyes makes him appear to be in a far off place away from Holidays and her, but that's probably just my wishful thinking.

About a minute later a loud roar comes from the middle of the dance floor. I glance at the side door seeing a couple of Lourdes friends bouncing over to her and Blues. One of the girls, Jessie Mae, dressed like she should be working a pole somewhere, struts over to our table and grabs Decks by the hand, pulling him into the swaying crowd. Decks glances over his shoulder with a hopeful expression communicating that he wants me to fight for him. Thankful for her blatant disregard of the chick-code, I smile sweetly, encouraging him to just do it, and then watch him dissolve into the masses before releasing a happy sigh.

After catching Lourdes grinning smugly my way, I smirk while thinking to myself that she has no idea how much of a favor she actually did for me. Once the first song ends, the crowd thins and I spot two new girls grinding all over Decks who appears thoroughly pleased with their risqué ménage dance moves. Sadly, it isn't enough to hold his tiny attention span for very long and a couple of songs later they all return to the table.

"I'll be right back," I tell Decks sliding out and making my way toward the bar. I order another drink and wait, but before the bartender returns, I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I slip it out and see that it's the code phrase I left for Kris to text me if she needs to talk. I tell the bartender that I'll be right back, leaving my drink and slipping out the side door.

"Hello," Kris says breathlessly after answering on the first ring.

"Hey, it's me. Are you okay?" I ask, concerned instantly that something bad has happened.

"Yeah," she laughs before whispering something unintelligible and then says, "Sorry Sam, hang on one more second." I can tell that she's covering the phone and after a few seconds she returns on the line giving me another apology.

"Are you busy?" I giggle, thinking that I've clearly interrupted something.

"Oh shut up. Tate's staying over," Kris says and I can hear the smiling through the explanation.

"Good. Wait! Why in the hell are you sending me a text if you have your man there?"

She laughs now. "I didn't realize you would call me back so quickly. A package came for you today. It's from Willow Police Department."

"Okay," I slump, completely relieved that it isn't anything bad. "I'll see you Christmas Eve I can get it then. I'm sure it's identical to the one I got six months ago. Granddad is relentless on trying to lure me back home, but it's just not where I want to be anymore."

"I understand Sam," she sighs, "Too many bad memories outweigh the good ones."

"Not really outweighing them, but overshadowing them for so long," I counter, feeling a tug at my heart thinking about the lies that my parents continue to call a happy life, but I refuse to think about either of them or the pain they inflicted on me while growing up.

"Alright, well I need to get back to Tate." Kris hums for a moment, hesitating on telling me something, but then adds, "He's coming home with us for the holidays."

"Ooh, somebody is being naughty," I tease, knowing it didn't take long for my friend to give her heart away because she is in a place where she's ready to accept the love of a good man. I'm so happy for her, but a bit of envy runs through me at the same time.

"I love you," Kris says, ignoring my reference to her being in love with Tate.

"Love you too," I reply, clicking off my phone.

I turn toward the door and find Blues staring at me suspiciously. The look in his eyes tells me that he definitely overheard the last part of my phone call. I fake a smile rushing around him through the open door. A wide hand wraps around my forearm, squeezing tightly and pulling me back outside.

"Hey, that hurts," I wince, jerking out of his painful hold.

"What game are you playing?" he growls, standing several feet away from me, folding his arms and piercing me with a hateful glare.

"You know..." I pause. Crossing my arms and mimicking his stance, I spit, "None of what I do is your business."

Blues steps forward, placing his hands on my shoulders and pushing me against the cold brick wall. His touch and forcefulness take my breath away. He releases me quickly, but remains just inches away with his face hovering closely to mine.

"You're trying to make everyone believe that you're with Decks," he says locking gazes with me. His whiskey and smoke-scented breath brushes across my lips, and I want to taste him so fucking badly. My body comes alive with his closeness and from the fierce stare he's holding me in. "But I can see that you're not really feeling it." His eyes drop to my lips and I watch as he licks his before speaking again. My nipples perk up and beg for his fucking delicious mouth. "You're playing a very deadly game, Angel." I stiffen at his words and he glances back up at my eyes. The cerulean blue color in his is sparking like fireworks with white hot desire, and I can't tell for sure if this is for me or residuals from what Lourdes has been doing to him all night. That thought sobers me.

"How about you let me worry about Decks and you keep doing your thing with Lourdes, seems like you two have really enjoyed playing under-the-table _games_ all night. Run along and keep your Queen happy." I finish with razor sharp anger in my tone.

_Fuck_ , now he probably thinks I'm interested or jealous of her stupid ass. _You are_!

Blues stares at me hard. The words are unnecessary. I can see all the things he wants to say rolling around in those heated eyes. He wants me and the feelings are mutual, but...

He reaches a hand up, placing it on my neck while slipping his thumb under my chin and forcing my face upward toward his. Instantly, my skin pricks both from his touch and his desire filled stare. His thumb strokes slowly along my jaw line and down my neck, pressing on my raging pulse point. I squeeze my legs together feeling excitement rushing down through my core. Damn I want him to spin me around and fuck me hard again.

"Angel," he growls, lowering his mouth to mine, grazing his lips slowly over them. I want this kiss, but it's too dangerous.

"Blues," I pant, reaching up and wrapping my hand around his arm. "Please don't," I beg hoping that he will just let me go. I need for him to stop this now before someone sees us and ruins everything. Damn being alone with him is such a bad thing.

Blues drops his hand and his gaze. I watch as his rigid stance, always so strong and domineering literally slumps in defeat. My heart clinches seeing this tough and confident man appear hurt. But that just can't be. He has Lourdes and what we had was only one fuck, a damn good fuck, but still it didn't mean anything to him. It couldn't have.

"Angel," he breathes heavy through his slightly parted mouth, slowly lifting his eyes to mine again. His voice is thick, raspy and panty soaking when he speaks, "I need –"

"No," I cut him off shaking my head while holding a hand up. Disappointment, along with a little bitterness, shifts my attitude taking my voice along with it, and this time it's me who growls. "I really don't care about your _needs_. Now, get out of my way." I push passed him, heading back toward Decks. Satisfying needs, his or mine, will never happen again. I want this damn job over like yesterday and I can't allow myself to be alone with Blues ever again. I stop at the bar and the guy working holds up a finger indicating he'll be with me in a minute.

"He left," A snotty voice filled with smug laughter says behind me. I don't glance back at Lourdes, so she moves around to sit on the barstool beside me. "Did you hear me you little piece of nothing?"

I shift around, grab her by the upper arm and lean in close. "I'll warn you once. If you ever speak to me this way again," I squeeze her upper arm with all of my strength, and tears prick her eyes instantly, "I will be the one laughing after I beat your fucking ass. Are. We. Clear?" I growl, dropping her arm and taking the drink the bartender holds out to me. At first he was staring completely shocked, but his face instantly brightens with a proud grin. _God putting Lourdes in her place felt so fucking good_.

After walking away from the bitch, I let Natalie know that I'm heading home and pass my whiskey over to Murph who simply nods once.
Chapter Thirty-Three

December

It's a week before Christmas and the temperatures are finally dipping down into the upper thirties at night. Decks has mentioned having a large holiday party at his place after the new year, inviting all of his friends and the group over for a fancy dinner then some dancing, but I couldn't care less really. I haven't been back with him to the stash house since that first day and he hasn't opened up about the trip to the east coast. I'm beginning to get frustrated with him withdrawing from me, but I should have expected it. I was the one who told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship so he's been spending his evenings out late almost every night since. We've seen each other in passing twice and both times he gives the impression that he's irritated with me. Something about his erratic behavior is troubling.

Sitting with my legs pulled under me in the bay window, I flip through a motorcycle magazine, looking for a new exhaust system with carbon silencers for my little kitten so she'll really purr when we race down the interstate on my off days. A knock on my bedroom door jolts me out of my daydreaming and I drop the book on top of my bed as I pass it, making my way across the room.

"Hey beautiful," Decks says smiling naughtily while roaming his eyes over my chest.

"Hey stranger," I laugh, watching his brows furrow.

"Yeah, we really haven't seen each other much lately, huh?" he poses simply, stepping into the room after I turn around and return to my seat. The time apart wasn't what I was referring to, but I don't correct his assumption.

He sits down at the foot of my bed and picks up the discarded magazine. After flipping through a couple of pages he grins at me. "Are you making a list for Santa?"

I laugh, "Nah, just daydreaming. Since I don't have a family I usually just indulge in one stupid gift for myself and call it a holiday." I nod toward the magazine he's holding, "I just can't decide which one it will be this year."

He places the book back and stares down at it briefly. "I have to go out of town again for a few days, but I'll be back on Christmas," he looks up guardedly, "Can we spend it together?"

"No," I sigh. "I am going to Savannah to visit a friend. I won't be back until New Year's Eve."

"What?" Decks roars leaping to his feet and rushing over to me. He drops his face within a few inches of mine making me flinch away from him, pressing my back against the window and watching as his face flushes red with anger.

"What's wrong?" I ask with a slight tremble in my voice while staring deeply into his eyes. I'm not afraid of Decks. I could kill him with just my thumb without breaking a sweat, but Angel isn't Sam.

"Who is this _friend_?" he asks mockingly, standing up straight again while shuffling his feet closer.

I lower my eyes to his chest and with a little more force tell him, "You're acting awfully possessive all of a sudden. What is going on Decks?"

"Angel," he growls, reaching down taking my chin and lifting it so that I'm looking into his eyes again. "I thought I made myself clear when I said that I want you. I do not like competition in any form, but when it comes to women I fucking hate it. Now, are you going to tell me if this friend is a guy or not?"

"First of all, no my friend isn't a guy and second, you need to calm down speaking to me like this. Do you really think I would date another man with rage issues after what my piece of shit ex-boyfriend put me through?" Lowering my voice, I push his hand away, slide off the window seat, and then stomp over to the desk on the other side of the room. I scribble down the information and slam my ink pen back onto the desktop. Retrieving the piece of paper, I walk back over and shove it at him.

"What is this?" he asks, taking it and scanning over it. "Heather Dillard?"

"My friend in Savannah," I say softly, staring at the paper instead of him. "Her address and cell phone number. You can call her now if you don't believe me. She'll confirm everything I've said, but," Keeping my eyes averted, I exhale loudly, "If you take our relationship to this level then I will move out. I don't give a damn if I have to sleep in a mission until I find a place. I won't go back to living with someone who mistreats me and dismisses my feelings."

"Fuck," he growls deep in his chest, crinkles up the paper quickly, tossing it into the wastebasket beside my bed. "I'm not going to check up on you. Dammit, I don't know why I just went off on you like that," he sighs before saying, "I don't blame you for being pissed at me. I'm really sorry."

"Do you want to tell me what is going on?" I ask, looking up at him now.

He shakes his head slowly after averting his eyes to the bedroom door. "I can't discuss anything right now."

"Okay," I say, seeing something strange pass over his face. It resembles pain. "Well if you change your mind you know where to find me." I grin when I see a small smile tip the corner of his lips before he glances back toward me.

"You really are something," he says, stepping closer. He holds a hand out and I accept it. Gripping my hand tightly, he pulls me against him gently. "I am such an asshole for behaving that way. You make me crazy." He places a kiss against my cheek and looks deeply into my eyes. Another strange look flushes through his features. Decks clutches his free hand over his stomach and rips the other out of mine, using it to cover his mouth as he runs out of my room. I chase after him as he forces open his bedroom door followed by the bathroom door, slamming it closed behind him.

"Decks, are you okay?" I ask, hearing him vomiting repeatedly. I knock softly and command, "Let me in."

"No," he groans pitifully. "Just leave me alone."

"Hell no," I shout, banging on the door again. "You either let me in or I'm throwing a chair against this damn door until it shatters to pieces or it somehow manages to crush this door in."

I hear him grunt before feeling the doorknob twist in my hand. In the short amount of time we were separated by the door, the front of his shirt went from crisp and clean to sweat soaked and reeking of puke. His breathing is labored and his eyes are completely glazed over. I take his hand in mine and guide him over to the sink, pushing him to lean back against it. I dampen a wash cloth and run it from his forehead down to his neck and around the back.

"Thank you," he whispers, reaching up and stopping my hand. His eyes are sad matching the frown on his face. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."

"Decks," I hesitate asking my question, feeling like I don't know if I really want this answer. "Are you sick? Like, is it serious?"

He shakes his head, staring deeply into my eyes for a moment before sighing and dropping his gaze to the floor. "No, I took a couple of hits and my body isn't handling it well." I nod, accepting that he is telling me the truth and almost grateful that it wasn't the other. This we can deal with and end quickly, if that's what he wants.

"So you got some bad shit?" I ask, smiling slightly. I hope he opens up about what he's taking.

"Nah, it's some new designer drug that has some funky side effects." He exhales heavily and stands. "It isn't always so rough."

"You mean this has happened before?" I crinkle my eyebrows. "Why do you keep taking it if it does this to you?" I ask, waving my hand in front of him, indicating his total transformation.

"The high isn't always this, but it happens." He shrugs taking the cloth and wiping his face again. "Ryske affects everyone differently and that's what will make me so damn much money when we get our shipment in."

_Fuck_! "I've heard of it. I met a chic using and thought about trying a sample. I just don't need to screw up my probation."

"I don't want you trying it, Angel." He turns his head, staring at me seriously. "This drug isn't anything like what we've ever seen. My connection is a total psychopath who is mass producing this stuff and testing it on as many people as possible until he perfects it for his own special purposes." He slides a hand up the side of my face. "I don't want you to be a guinea pig for this poison."

"Decks, if you know this about Ryske then I don't think you should try it again. It's dangerous for you too."

He smiles. "You're worried about me?"

"Yeah," I shake my head, "If you won't let me try it then, I don't know, maybe you should listen to your own advice." I snort.

"I know what I'm doing." he says confidently, repeating what every drug user before him says when they're totally consumed by their overindulgence.
Chapter Thirty-Four

Packing up my travel bag, I have the radio blasting some hard core beats throughout the speaker system in Decks house. With him gone out of town again this house is like living in a fucking mortuary. I'm so ready to hit the road and see my girl. I also can't wait to meet Kris' new love interest, Tate. It will be interesting to see Russ' reaction to his kid sister being in love. In college he was always so overprotective of her. Hopefully he's chilled the hell out some and will not cause Tate to run screaming and yelling from the Daniels' house this weekend. Russ has a knack for taunting that tends to get a little out of hand. Unless it's normal for a brother to clean his gun while asking his sister's boyfriend if he's ever been with a man before and then asks if he wants to. I would kill my brothers if they behaved so badly.

The doorbell chimes and I freeze wondering who in the hell would be visiting Decks. He never has guests over. I hit a button on the remote, pausing the thunderous music before bouncing down the stairs. I open the door and am greeted with a strange glare.

"Yes?" I ask cautiously.

"I came over to make sure you were okay," Blues teases, smirking at me while his eyes roam down my body. "The sounds coming from the house made me think Decks may have been killing an animal."

I scrunch up my face at his attempt at being funny. "Nope, it's just me and I'm enjoying some heavy metal."

"You really shouldn't listen to music at that level," he says as he steps uninvited into the foyer and I shift backward a little. "It could really do some damage to those cute little ears of yours." Blues stretches out his hand and traces a finger along the edge of my ear. His contact causes my eyes to drift closed and I whimper softly. "Angel," he whispers. His breath brushes across my face and I gasp when I open my eyes, finding him towering over me.

"You should go," I say regretfully. I don't want him to leave, but it would be a terrible idea to let this continue.

"No." Blues whispers pressing his sweet lips to mine tenderly. He moves his hand down my neck stroking my skin with his fingers and scraping his nails as he pushes his hands into my hair. I groan deeply parting my mouth and his tongue dives in searching for mine. He tightens his grip on the back of my head, needing to get closer and I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him against me.

"I'm going to fuck you, Angel," he growls against my lips and I nod agreeably. I can't deny it anymore. I need a good fuck and Blues is the only one who can give it to me. Holding my hand, he steps away to lock the front door and then scoops me up into his strong arms taking the stairs quickly up to my room.

Once inside he lowers me back down to my feet so he can lock this door too. I smile thinking about the last encounter we had with a door and Blues doesn't miss my look.

"You liked that didn't you Doll?" He grins wickedly running his warm hands over my shoulders, slipping the thin straps of my tank down my arms. He stares into my eyes holding me captive while waiting for my response. I can't deny it was the best sex I've ever had so I nod my head slowly while biting on my lip.

He breaks eye contact with me to look down my body and a deep growl rumbles in his chest when his gaze lands on my bare legs. I have on the shortest pair of faded blue jean shorts I own. In fact they're so short they really should be called panties. Leaving my bra on, he pulls my skimpy top down so that it gathers at my hips. "Fuck, I like you in pink," he growls low while running his finger along the edge of my bra, skimming the tops of my breast before slipping under the lacy material. He reaches in, lifting one boob out before doing the same to the other forcing them to stick up higher. "Fucking gorgeous," he mumbles just before dropping his face down to my chest.

Blues dips his tongue between my tits and then licks his way up to my neck in one long stroke. My fingers slip into his silky locks desperately. Both of his hands come up to cup my breast while his thumbs gently traces around my nipples. They pop out instantly to his teasing. He begins torturing the rock hard bits by tugging and pinching them. Nuzzling against my ear, he groans, "I need to taste you now."

Prickling my skin tortuously, he tickles his hands down my abs to the button on my shorts, unsnapping them and sliding them down my legs. Kneeling in front of me, he holds my hand like a gentleman allowing me to step out and remains on his knees. Without a damn care in the world he reaches up and tears my shirt down the middle allowing it to flutter down to the floor. I won't lie, standing before this gorgeous man while wearing my matching bra and panties with my girls on full display makes me feel like a fucking empress, especially from the way he is worshiping my body with his eyes and upward moving hands.

"I like these so I won't destroy them, but they must go now," he demands, digging his fingers roughly under the hem and tugging my silky undies down swiftly. "Damn that's sexy as hell, Angel," Blues groans gliding his finger up my scrolled ink that starts at the back of my thigh, curves up and around stopping at my center. He grins wickedly while stroking his finger down the small thin landing strip of hair above my slit. Twisting his hand around so that his finger can slip into me easily, he inhales sharply. "Fuck," he moans when he finds what he's looking for. "You're so goddamn wet already."

Eager after that discovery, Blues rises to his full height and lifts me into his arms, kissing me hard while carrying me over to the bed. He places me on the edge before climbing up, stretching out and laying his head on my pillow.

"Come here," he commands, lacing his fingers through mine and tugging me toward him. I straddle his waist and he shimmies his body further down the bed. He continues to guide me upward so that my center is on his chest. "Brace yourself," he wraps his hand around the back of my thighs and guides me to his hot mouth. My hands reach for the headrest just as he latches onto my clit. With one hard pull of his tongue and lips, he groans and it rattles deep inside, vibrating every cell in my body. He releases his hold to slide his tongue up and down slowly and repeatedly between my folds.

"Oooh god yes," I moan loudly, while rotating my hips, grinding my pussy onto his face. He thrusts his tongue deep into me like a man on a mission. And when Blues hits my spot, I detonate with my first orgasm since he told me to get out of his world. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!" My head rolls back as he continues to devour every last bit of my high with his mouth.

"Sweet as honey, baby," he smiles up at me before I roll over, lying flat. "I need more," he insists twisting around and kneeling beside me. The greedy bastard forces my legs wide open again. His hands move to the back of my thighs pushing them high, exposing me completely to him.

His tongue darts out and flicks the tip of my hood several times and instantly I melt for him. He grins against my slit as he laps up his treat. "So damn delicious." He nibbles, sucks and scrapes his teeth along every inch of my pussy causing my build up to reach a painful craving.

"I need..." I groan like a fucking hussy. There is no shame left in me. This man has taken every bit of my self-control and we haven't even had sex yet.

"Yeah, Doll. I need too," he confesses crawling up my body. He dips his mouth down, kissing me softly while sliding his finger into my hot entrance. "Look at me," he commands, thrusting two fingers deep within me while rubbing his palm vigorously on my swollen mound.

My lids are so heavy after one fantastic orgasm and balancing on the edge of my second I'm struggling to keep them open. I stare into his hooded dark eyes while he kisses me deeply and plays my body to the tune of a sultry jazz song echoing through his mind. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, needing him closer when I realize he's still fully dressed.

I break away from our sexy kissing and demand, "I need you naked."

Blues smirks, slides his hand up my neck and grips the back of my head, tilting it so that he's staring straight into my eyes. "I'll give you whatever you need, but I want you to keep your eyes on mine the whole time." He kisses my lips tenderly before adding, "I want to watch you come apart for me this time, Doll."

Staring into his burning sapphire eyes while I climax is the last thing I need. It's too much. Like the prostitute from Pretty Woman who thought kissing was intimate, I think experiencing a Blues induced orgasm while he stares into my eyes, searching for my soul is too damn intimate. It will do things to my mind that I'm not ready for and he damn sure will not want.
Chapter Thirty-Five

I reach up and begin unbuttoning Blues shirt hastily. He slides off the bed and shakes his shoulders, allowing it to drop on the floor behind him. I twist around and grab the top button on his slacks, popping it open and sliding down the zipper. I bite back a lustful moan when I see that he's not wearing underwear and he is completely shaved. He wiggles just enough to make his trousers skim down his hip and thighs. My breath catches when his cock is revealed. Motherfucker he is huge. How in the hell that big bastard went in me is unbelievable. He grabs it and strokes a few times while staring down at me. My mouth waters uncontrollably at the sight of Blues stimulating himself, causing me to lick my lips.

"Taste me baby," he moans, sounding like a desperate man needing my mouth on him like a lifeline. I pop the clasp of my bra and drop it to the floor. Edging over toward him on my knees, I push his hand away from his progressively swelling hard-on and wrap my fingers around it firmly. He pants heavily, reaching up and digging his fingers through my thick hair. I lean forward and slide his engorged head between my tits, pushing it up the entire span and devouring it with my cleavage. Blues' head drops back while his hips thrust forward slowly. "Goddammit," he groans, pulling me tighter against him.

I give our stroking rhythm another minute before lowering my lips to his glistening tip. I kiss his head softly before swiping my tongue through the slit. His taste is unlike anything I've ever indulged on. He is an expertly-mixed essence of salty and sweet. I devour all of it and he whimpers uncontrollably. At this moment, I own this man. He lowers his hand to the back of my neck, tugging me closer. I twirl my tongue around his head several times before taking all of him into my mouth. Overly zealous, he pushes hard into me and hits the back of my throat before I can get him all the way in. I groan around his thickness before pulling my lips back slowly. "Yes, my angel, suck me," he pants forcing our rhythm up. I grab his balls in one hand while running the other up his abs reaching for his nipple. I roll both between my fingers and he fists my hair tightly while shouting, "Angel, stop baby!"

Blues pulls out, halting my playtime and says, "Lay back, I need to feel your pussy on me." While shifting backwards on my knees, I shake my head and point to the foot of the bed. He slips on a condom and quirks up an eyebrow at me.

"Lie down and put your feet on the headboard," I command. He moves quickly, doing exactly as I instructed. Leaving his knees slightly bent, he grins up at me while digging his fingers into my hips. I climb onto him facing away and slip my body between his legs. I tuck mine under his and place my hands around his thighs to pull him closer to the top of the bed. He chuckles behind me while kneading his hands into my backside. "Interesting position, baby, I can't say I've ever done it this way before." I laugh, knowing that I'm about to give him the best fucking orgasm of his life and he will be begging for this position again.

I rise up slightly, reaching back for his arousal and position my slick entrance over his begging head. He grips tightly to my hips, his fingers piercing my flesh and bit by bit I ease down onto him, taking in every tremendous inch. "Fuck," I groan loudly with him filling and stretching me. My walls clench so tightly that I know I must be hurting him, but the sensuous moan coming from behind me paints a different picture. My body temperature and heart rate spikes hearing the pleasure I'm giving him. I swirl my hips grinding against him, assuring that I've thoroughly taken all of him before I press my hands against the back of his thighs to push off. I drop down hard and repeat this move several times. Then I grab the headboard and rock our bodies to a mind blowing rhythm.

"Fucking Christ...so good baby...so good," he grunts and moans with each slam and grind of our bodies together. His hands roam wildly over me. Occasionally he flattens them on my lower back, pressing upward to encourage me along and then other times he is grabbing my waist, forcing me harder onto him.

Feeling my build up racing toward explosive, I cup his balls, rolling them around in my hand eliciting another pleasing grunt from Blues. I glance over my shoulder at him, seeing his scorching eyes latched onto where our bodies are joined together.

He breaks his gaze, catching mine and pleads, "You are blowing my fucking mind. I'm on the edge right now, Doll." That's all I need to hear.

While staring into his eyes, I slip a finger into my mouth and suck. I glide it out and lick it leaving plenty of moisture. He flashes a devilish smirk, slips his eyes closed and tilts his head backward. Yeah, he knows what's coming and he wants it. Writhing over him I stroke my wet finger down the seam of his balls, moving lower until I find the small round spot. Pushing in slowly, I hear Blues' breathing catch and know it won't be long before he is exploding. And that's a very good thing because I am about to shatter with him. I rise up, his full length then slowly bounce my ass while thrusting my finger gently in and out.

Reaching his orgasm quickly, Blues pinches my hips and bellows, "Oh....Angel." Hearing him come, urges my pace faster and within a couple of seconds I detonate too. I grind out my rapture on him riding out all of the aftershocks. "Damn," he chuckles weakly, still holding onto me. My legs begin shaking uncontrollably still sitting on him.

"Come here." He pulls me backwards so that I'm laying flat on him, my back on his chest. He wraps both arms around me, one on my stomach, the other trapping my arms and boobs. "It's never felt so good before you," he whispers while kissing my cheek and I chuckle softly.

My mind spins out of control from his hopeful words. Blues admitting that our sex was that good only adds to my high. I'm thoroughly sated and being encased in his strong embrace is doing crazy shit to me. My heart literally leaped at his confession.

"You're so fucking perfect, Doll," he whispers. His hot breath feathers a few loose strands of my hair, tickling my neck.

My body goes rigid hearing him refer to me as perfect. I loathe that fucking word passionately. I untangle his arms and move off of his body. He twists around onto his side, reaching a hand out to stop me, but I'm off the bed in a flash. I scoop up my clothes and toss the shirt into the wastebasket once I shut the bathroom door behind me. I step into the shower and the water immediately begins cascading down from the shower head in the ceiling. My heart pounds wildly in my chest and my breathing is out of control. I stand here a good solid minute trying to calm the ire that possessed me.

_Perfect is the last thing you will ever be_. That's the statement I've had repeated to me since I was a child. Neither of my parents really wanted me. My mother was young and stupid and my father was the town playboy. After getting together briefly, she discovered she was pregnant with me. Her father confronted my dad and insisted that he do the right thing. They married immediately and it was a hateful union. There was never any amount of love between them or in them. My brothers and I discovered at an early age that even though they had more money than God, they were greedy and wanted more. Nothing ever satisfies my lecherous mother and father; well he all but discarded me before we moved to England.

I discovered his reasons behind his bitter hatred for me my freshman year of college. I needed medical history for a bio class so I contacted my Gran. She provided all the details for my paternal side and so I called and asked my mom for the other. She quickly blew a fuse. Her rage was so palpable I physically shivered at the force. She demanded that I drop the questions and so I agreed, but the detective in me just couldn't let it go. It didn't take much effort to discover that Barret Walker isn't my biological father. Part of me is grateful that I don't belong to such a monster, but the other half is saddened by the fact that my brothers, my longest and most cherished friends, are truly only half-brothers.

"Angel," Blues' voice thunders through the closed door, but I don't respond. Within a couple of seconds he is standing under the water with me, his eyes sparkling and heating while watching the water glistening down the front of my body. "Come here, Love," he says sweetly, drawing me against his wide chest and burying his face into my neck, his kiss touching against my rapid pulse. Curling up into him and disappearing from the hurt would be so simple, but I'm stronger than these pathetic memories.

I won't let him see my heartache. Blues can hold me all he needs, but the darkness where my demons thrive is the one part of me that I refuse to show anyone.
Chapter Thirty-Six

Blues washes me clean and it's one of the most sensually tender moments I've ever experienced. He doesn't even try to have sex with me again. His tender sacrifice and sweet endearments are ripping at my heart. This will hurt, but the temptation to have more of him is too fucking vast to stop this deadly scenario. _I need to get my head straight_. A few days away should help get the need for Blues out from under my skin.

Once out of the shower we dry off separately before returning to the bedroom. I glance out the window and notice that the evening is approaching. I take out a pair of skinny jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt from a dresser drawer and slip them over my pink and black delicates, which somehow survived the wrath of Blues earlier.

"Are you going out?" he asks, walking up behind me and wrapping his hands around my middle.

"Yeah," I nod and twist around in his arms enjoying the warmth he gives me. "I'm heading out of town for the holiday."

His forehead crinkles while sadness encroaches away the shine from his dazzling blue eyes. "You won't be here for Christmas?" he asks dolefully.

I smirk, lift a finger to his swollen pout and stroke softly. "Will you miss me Mr. Sloane?" I tease and peck his lips quickly.

"Will you miss me, Ms. Johnson?" he counters with a sexy as fuck moan before dipping his mouth down and sipping from my lips. He's being so tender and my heart swells upon opening my eyes to see him staring at me again during our kiss. God I love when he watches me. _Love_? Fear clutches hold of my heart.

Stepping out of his embrace, I end our kiss and stroll toward the doorway. "I need to get going," I tell him a little too panicky, gesturing at the door. I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder before reaching down and seizing my helmet.

"It's too cold for you to ride your motorcycle," Blues insists following me downstairs.

Shaking my head, I glance over at him as I reach for my leather jacket. "Nah, I'm good. Besides the cold night might help cool me down and clear my head after the hot sex we just experienced."

He presents a proud lopsided grin as he approaches me. "Just don't forget it," he says, pulling me into his arms and pressing me hard against him.

"Impossible," I whisper, lifting up onto my toes to kiss him this time. "I'll see you New Years Eve."

"Angel," he runs his hands up my neck to my face, splaying his large hands on both sides. "We're both adults and we have needs. I don't have time for games and I don't need anyone else in my life. I guarantee this very second that I won't be fucking anyone else while you're gone," his breath is heavy and lusty when he continues, "and when you come back, I want you to come back for me."

"Lourdes, may disagree with everything you just said," I counter watching anger etch into his forehead as I remind him of the fact that he has a girlfriend.

Calming himself, Blues hugs me and then says, "I'll worry about Lourdes. You worry about getting your sweet little ass back in one piece. I'm going to need another taste of you soon, Doll."

Blues kisses me passionately, telling me that he absolutely means every word. How will this work? Decks is a madman waiting for me to give in and become his woman. Plus, his ideas against sharing me are far from pleasant. Lourdes already detests me, but what the bitch doesn't know is that she has good reasons for all of her animosity. If Blues is being truthful about not wanting to be with her then I have taken her man. She will do more than hate me when this little secret is revealed.

He presses his forehead to mine, staring deeply into my gray eyes and says, "Be careful, Love."

I close and lock the door behind us after watching Blues walk over to his place. I cut around the front edge of the house and then kick a leg over my little beauty. I switch her on and the hard vibration sends shock waves through my body reminding me of what Blues did to me. I smirk and shake my head as I pull out of the driveway. Stealing one last glance at his front door, I see him standing there hand raised in the air waving goodbye.

***

"If it ain't my other gorgeous daughter, finally coming to see us," Kris' dad says pulling me into a sweet hug. "Lynn, Sammie's home," he announces dragging me through the house and into the kitchen.

"Patrick, leave Samantha alone. Come here sweetie," Lynn says, wiping her hands on the front of her apron. "Let me look at you. Ah, always so pretty."

"Thanks for having me over," I say hugging her and flashing a smile over her shoulder at Kris. "Hey you!"

She walks over and pulls me out of her mom's embrace and wraps her skinny arms around me. "I miss you," Kris says sadly. She lowers her voice and whispers, "How much longer?" I pull away from her embrace and shrug.

Glancing around the room, I don't see Russ or Tate. "Where are your boys?" I ask, smirking at her eye roll.

"Freaking playing stupid video games," she grunts. We sit down at the kitchen table and I grab a warm roll from the pan Lynn places in front of us.

"Thanks, I'm starving," I growl, biting off a huge chunk. "Mm, delicious!"

Kris laughs while watching me before she grabs her own piece of heaven on earth. "So I expected you a couple of hours ago. Did something happen?"

I glance at her and know that there isn't a chance in hell that I can hide the fact that I just had the second best sex of my life. The first was against the door. Yeah, that one will forever be tough to beat. I wink and she attacks.

"Come on, let's go upstairs and put your bag away," Kris insists.

Not wanting to argue, I pop the last flaky morsel into my mouth and stalk up the stairs behind her. She guides me down the hallway to her old bedroom. "Hey aren't you going to sleep in here?" I ask.

"Nope, Tate and I are staying in a hotel room."

"Huh? Mom and dad's idea or yours?"

"Mine." She bites her lip and shrugs. "I want him to feel welcomed here, but I can't sleep in the same house knowing that sexy creature is under the same roof and I'm forbidden to touch him for five days. I will explode Sam."

"You naughtiness," I giggle. "This is freaking fantastic. Well, I need to meet the man that you've fallen for."

"Oh no Miss Thang," she taunts shutting the door and leaning her back against it. "You've got some explaining to do." She arches her eyebrows and waits for my response.

"Really?" I huff. "You want me to tell you now?" She nods. "I'll make a deal with you," I pause watching her glowing smile fade into a frown. "Calm down, it's painless." I joke and then point to the bed. "We'll play a lightening round of our game. It has to be quick though or you mom will hunt us down."

"I'll go first," she demands and I nod. "Did you have sex today?" Girl brings out the big guns on the first question.

Well since I only get one pass I must answer truthfully. "Yes," I admit staring her right in the eye. It's my turn to ask a question and it's driving her nuts that I didn't offer more than the required one word answer. "Are you going to marry Tate?"

She shifts her eyes away from me and I see glisten in the corner. "Hey," I soothe, reaching over and pulling her into my arms. "What's wrong?"

She sniffs lightly before answering me. "I can't commit to him Sam."

I pull away from her and see the seriousness in her gaze. "Why not honey? If anyone deserves to be happy it's you."

"No," she whispers. "I'm just not in the right place at the moment. Tate says he understands, but he doesn't..." she trails off and I instantly grow angry with a man I haven't met before.

"He doesn't what...know if he can wait until you're ready?" I snap, ready to rush downstairs and flog that fool. "Well screw him. You dump his ass and don't look back, Sweets."

"No Sam." Kris shakes her head while crossing the room. She looks out the window and I see her reflection in the panes looking all melancholy. "Tate wants to wait, but I don't know if that is a fair thing to ask of him."

"What's going on Kris?"

"I can't..." she sobs and then turns around to look at me. She holds my stare for a moment, clearly debating on revealing what's got her so worked up. "I have to put work and other things first Sam. One day when I'm financially able for a relationship and can commit I hope that he will still be hanging around."

"But..."

She cuts me off. "I know you love me and want me to be happy." I nod walking over to lean against the wall beside her. "I am happy. At least as happy as a dating woman can be." She smiles before adding, "More will have to wait a little longer."
Chapter Thirty-Seven

Deciding to stay at her parents after all, Kris and I stay up until the early morning hours on Christmas morning. She finally tells me what is holding her back from Tate. Knowing the truth answers all of my questions about her being so thrifty. It breaks my heart that she takes responsibility for her father's bad decisions.

A few years ago Patrick Daniels fell into a slump when he was forced into early retirement after working for the same company for twenty-four years. They gave him a pension, but he wasn't eligible for health insurance. With the rising costs, thanks to our amazing government, he came up short month after month for a solid year. With his pride and home at stake he took a shot and bet on a sure thing football game. Needless to say he lost big time.

Kris found him one afternoon curled up in the living room floor weeping. He pleaded with her not to tell Lynn and Russ. He couldn't bare their disappointment. She vowed then and there that she would do everything she could to help her father. She gets her pride from him. I offered to help her, but of course she refused. I, however, am just as stubborn as my best friend and will be making a phone call Monday morning to clear the mortgage on the Daniels residence. She'll be pissed off at me, but she'll eventually get over it. What else am I going to do with all the damn money I save? If I can't help people with it, what's the damn point?

I eventually broke down and told her about my complicated relationship with Blues. I didn't mention details, but she's smart enough to know that he's bad news. After listening to every reason I have as to why being with him is so wrong all she could do was offer one single piece of advice. She told me, "A man can change if he's loved by the right woman. He'll want it more than his own life." That's it. Her sage advice brought to you by a hallmark greeting card quote. No, I don't know if it's an exact quote or not, but it sure sounds like their BS.

Russ and Tate are getting along like best friends. I love seeing them bonding. It feels almost like they are really my brother and soon to be brother-in-law. Tate, Tate, Tate. What can I say about Mr. Perfect-For-Her? He loves my girl. And damn did she ever hit the Casino Royale Jackpot. He is a true southern gentleman with breathtaking looks. Tate is a large man with a freaking linebacker physique. His dark hair and eyes compliment his dark tan beautifully. He is seriously some hotness, as Kris likes to call him. If he was my nurse, I would find a way to stay in the hospital longer so he could nurse me back to health. Hell the hot temperatures he invokes would probably be enough. While she was off in the kitchen helping her mother create our fabulous Christmas dinner I pulled him aside.

"You have my blessing, but you should know that girl is stubborn as hell," I smirk.

"I'm well aware, Sam," Tate smiles back but his eyes are full of concern.

"Here is a special pre-Christmas present for both of you. You'll have to hide it in a good place to keep it a secret from nosey in there," I laugh softly when his eyes flick toward the direction of the kitchen. "It's the key to my grandparent's beach house in Key West." I will never forget the look in his eyes as he takes them from my hand. I recognized the wheels turning look. He now had the loveliest place to propose, and I couldn't be happier knowing that I get to be a part of it.

"Thanks, Sam." His dark eyes sparkle with life.

"One last thing," I sigh, "If you suddenly become stupid and decide to let her get away with postponing this relationship then it is me that you will have to deal with. Understand?"

Tate beams. "I'll sweep her off her feet and she'll never worry about anything ever again." I laugh. He's a good man and a _smart_ man.

Before I knew it the week slipped past. Russ and I talk strategy, plotting the demise of the X'kapz mafia and I hold my tongue about the personal shit. I think Russ would shut down my assignment if he gets a hint about me and the second in command getting freaky.

What am I going to do about Blues? He made demands on me before I left that I just don't think I can agree to. We would both be risking a lot if we pursue this... relationship...or whatever the hell you want to call it. Sneaking off and scratching an itch occasionally is one thing, but being his is totally not something I can commit to doing. My heart is fucking with my head and that is deadly in this world. I cannot trust him. _I will not trust him_. So therefore I cannot love him. It's that simple. The best way I see it is to avoid the hell out of him, like he has the black plague. Perhaps time and space will give me time to get him out of my system. It isn't going to be easy, but I'll make this plan work if it kills me.

"Sam," Kris whispers, "When will I see you again?"

"I don't know sweets," I smile and glance over her shoulder at Tate, "How about Valentine's weekend? I can drop in on Saturday. We can do our traditional routine of gorging on ice cream and vegging in front of the tellie watching scary movies all night. We'll tell all the boys to piss off until Monday."

"No good," she demands shaking her head. "Valentine's Day is on Monday. We have to do it on the day, it is tradition! Since you were preoccupied with work this year we had to skip it, but it has to be a priority next year."

"Oh shoot," I fake disappointment. "I'm not sure that's going to work with everything that's going on with the case. But I'll do my best." She sighs, but relents with a sad, tiny nod.

"Take care, Samantha," Lynn says releasing me from a tight squeeze so I can leave.

"Bye," I wave to everyone as I pull away from my other family.

I take the back roads through Canton heading back toward Decks house in Buckhead. It's late in the evening so most of the houses still have their Christmas lights on. And unfortunately the families are out doing the slow crawl through the neighbors to see them. I gun the throttle and pass several cars taking a side road that leads up the backside of the mountain. A couple of other vehicles had the same idea and turn just before me. I catch up to them as we crest the first small incline.

High beam lights flash in my side mirrors, indicating they want me to go faster. I'm already pushing the ass end of the car in front of me on this dangerous road. I'm not about to risk my life for some rude fucker who can wait a little longer to get to his mansion on the mountain. The two cars in front of me turn off and I pick up speed. So does the car behind me. We coast along at a speed a little too fast for my liking, but I can handle it. I've taken many road course tests and can outmaneuver most of the men in my department, in a car and on a motorcycle.

After the third incline I can tell the ground is getting icy so I slow up just a tad. The asshole behind me doesn't appreciate the decreased speeds so I flag him around. After another minute of riding my bumper I flip him off and flag him around again. That was my dumb mistake. He backs off but only for a second. Before I realize it he is charging at me from behind and swerves at the very last second. Passing me on the deadly crest, he gases the expensive looking SUV until he spots the headlights of an oncoming car at the same time I see it.

I brake a little and he swerves to get back in line causing his front fender to nudge against my tailpipe. The car passes us and that's when I make my second mistake. I don't feel like dying on this fucking mountain so I slow down even more and flag the bastard around. He takes my offering and turns it against me. The last thing I remember before plummeting over the edge at forty-five miles an hour isn't seeing the brake lights on the SUV. No, instead of watching him stop to make sure I survive, I hear the asshole gun the gas.
Chapter Thirty -Eight

January

" _If you can hear me hold up two fingers,"_ a voice from far away echoes this statement so many times that I can't stand hearing anymore and try to yell at it to shut the fuck up, but my yell sounds like a moan to me.

" _Good, you can hear me_ ," the voice says again and after a few seconds I manage to grunt.

" _I need you to come back_ ," another voice whispers.

" _Can you open your eyes?_ " I understand the question, but for some reason I can't make my body do anything. What happened to me?

" _It's okay_ ," the voice sighs. " _At least I know you're in there_."

" _I'm going to give you something for the pain_." I think it's one of the voices from earlier asking, but I don't know.

" _I'll be back in the morning to check on you_."

" _Miss?_ " a sweet voice singsongs, "You _have visitors here to see you._ "

" _Sam?_ " I know that voice, is it my brother? " _God, I'm so sorry_."

" _I know you don't like this part, but I need to take you down for another CT Scan_."

Darkness invades every thought. Sometimes in the moments when I hear the voices I can feel a slight touch against my hand or my face. I understand that I must be in the hospital, but I don't understand why. Sleep will help. I'll just rest until my body is better.

" _You have to wake up_ ," a deep voice rumbles. " _I want you to come back for me_." I know that voice and I need him.

I literally have to force my eyes to obey when I command them to open. It takes several tries, but finally I am successful. The light piercing through my tiny slits is excruciatingly painful to my head. I lift my hand to block the light, but it doesn't respond. I shift my gaze down and see that my left hand is lying beside me covered with a cast, but the damn thing isn't moving. I blink a few times and finally my lids don't feel so heavy anymore.

"Well good morning," a pretty young nurse says, hovering over my face. "It's about time you woke up." I've been dreaming? She runs a light across both of my pupils and I groan at the relenting pain the brightness inflicts. "I'm sorry sugar. I just need to check you over real quick." Her southern accent is thick so I know I'm still in the south. I just can't be sure if I'm in Georgia or if my grandparent's flew me home.

"Good morning Ms. Johnson. I'm Dr. Vincent," a tall middle-aged man informs me. "I'm glad to see you awake. You've suffered a minor concussion and have several fractured and bruised bones. We had to do surgery on your left arm due to the severity of the injury. Except for that, your other injuries should mend over time." Dr. Vincent smiles down at me while checking the bandage on my head. "This may sting a little. Your hair is stuck to the tape. Hold still just a moment."

He takes a little longer than a moment and pulls out several strands of my long hair. I whimper and he apologizes. My mouth feels really dry so I swallow and it hurts. I try to speak, but another groan is all I can manage. I am in hell.

"Alright, now I want you to try and tell me your name," Dr Vincent says staring at me. "You can do it. It might be painful, but if you tell me your name I'll give you something to drink besides water." He smiles encouragingly.

"Ssssss..." I force my name but it only sounds like a bunch of S's. I try again and get the same results.

"Okay, maybe you need some help remembering. Your name is Angel Johnson." Shit. I almost blew my cover. If anyone else is in the room with us that could have been bad, very bad.

I clear my throat and try again, "Annn....gggg....eeeeelllll"

"Very good," Dr. Vincent says smiling proudly. "Keep working on it and you'll be good as new in a few days."

_Days_? Dammit how long have I been like this?

"Cccc...ccc..." I sigh at the ridiculous effort it takes to say one word freaking. "Ccc...ooooo...kkee"

Dr Vincent chuckles. "A deal is a deal. I'll have the nurse bring you some coke."

Sipping through the straw and getting a nice long thirst quenching drink makes me feel half human again. The nurse sits my bed up so that I can see the room. Except for her it's empty. I wonder if I imagined people coming to see me.

"Hi ya honey, I'm Elizabeth," the nurse says. "Let's try saying your name again."

We work on it for a while until finally she's satisfied that I can say it without dragging out the letters for too long. My mind is definitely racing faster than my tongue and I'm frustrated as hell. I need answers and I need to get the hell out of this hospital.

"Elizabeth," I manage to say after a couple of whispered attempts. "How long?"

"You came in last night after a motorcycle accident," she winces like she feels bad for me. "Your hair should be okay. Well, after a good washing." She smiles when she offers this bit of information. I nod. "Why don't you rest a little while? We can work on doing some other things later."

She leaves me alone after that. I shift my eyes to the window and manage to get my head to follow. Being like this makes me feel useless. Tears sting my eyes and I feel them slide down my cheeks slowly. Will I stay like this? Why can't I remember everything that happened to put me in here? I watch the sunlight move across the sky for hours. The nurse works with me more until my voice is better. Feeling the tug of sleep, I close my eyes and drift into the darkness again.

"Time to wake up," Dr Vincent says strolling into my room. "Are you up for a jog around the hospital?" He laughs and I roll my eyes. Three days of the same lame ass joke each morning and I'm ready to cut him.

"My bum is killing me. If you'll let me out of this place I'll jog any damn where you want."

He laughs again. "Glad to see you're feeling better. I think we've pretty much covered every possibility of what could happen once you get home. Now do you have someone that can come get you?" Who the hell can I call?

"Is my phone here?" I ask and he spins around toward the small closet. Reaching inside he pulls out my backpack and I release a heavy breath when I realize that I recognized it.

"Could it be in this monstrosity?" he jokes.

I hold up my right hand and take the bag from him. I fish around in the side pocket until I locate my cell. "Here it is. Give me a few minutes and I'll have an answer for you."

"Yep, I'll be at the nurse's station. Buzz me when you're done," he says leaving.

I lay my phone down in my lap and stare at it for a long time. I know I can't call Kris, she will freak out. Russ is supposed to be in jail and can't come to my rescue. I don't want Decks coming just in case someone recognizes me and blows my cover. I sigh and scroll through the names in my call log.

"Ah ha!" I cheer.

"Hello?" a soft spoken voice says hesitantly.

"Natalie?" I ask.

"Angel? Oh my god Angel is that you? Oh, it is so good to hear your voice. I have been worried sick. Are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." She takes a breath and I rush my reply to calm her.

"Natalie, I'm okay. Can you come get me?"

"Yes, of course I'll come get you," she releases a heavy breath. "Where are you Angel?"

"I'm in the hospital."

"Oh god," she whispers her voice filling with emotion. "Are you hurt?"

"I'll answer all of your questions after you get me the hell out of here."

She chuckles. "I'm on my way."

After ending our call I change into clean clothes and pace around the small claustrophobic-inducing space until they get here. Twenty minutes later Natalie, Wise and Murph stroll into my hospital room.

"Shit." Natalie stops dead in her tracks and covers her hand over her mouth when she gets a good look at me. "Oh honey, are you okay?"

I nod my head and manage to hold back the tears threatening to escape. "I'm just ready to go. Can I stay with you for a few days?"

"You can stay as long as you need," Wise answers for her. I smile at him and turn my attention to Murph. He doesn't look happy, which really isn't that big of a deal, he always looks frustrated, but this look is different somehow. I smile at him, but I should have saved it for a brick wall. It would garner the same deadpan results.

"Let's get the hell out of here," I say dropping down into the wheelchair the nurse pushes into the room.
Chapter Thirty-Nine

"So you don't want Decks to know you were hurt?" Natalie asks twisting around in the front passenger seat to look at me.

"Nah," I reply. "He's busy. I'll be fine in a few days. The doctor said so."

She cuts her eyes at her husband and grunts, but doesn't comment. We pull up to their house and everyone hops out before me. I reach up for the handle, but the door is jerked open before I can do it myself. A large hand hangs in front of my face, waiting for me to accept it. I do and am gently pulled out of the large SUV. Murph bends over and scoops me up, holding me in his arms.

"Uh, big guy I can walk," I say looking into his jewel green eyes.

"I've got you Angel," he says in a deep and sweet voice. I can't remember ever hearing Murph speak before, but he really should do it more often. His voice has a slight accent to it. It could be Irish, but I'm not quite certain. Whatever it is, it's sexy and I plan to engage him in more conversations in the future. _Yum._

"Thank you Murph," I say blushing from those crazy thoughts as he places me down gently onto the sofa in the living room.

"Shane," he states and I nod my head.

"Thank you Shane."

"Okay so tell me what the heck happened?" Natalie begs. "I know you were going out of town to see your friend, but you were supposed to be back before New Years. Everyone kind of went nuts thinking something bad may have happened, little did we know that it really had." She drops down on the sofa beside me.

"I don't remember much," I say pointing to my head. "Apparently I was forced off the road. The EMT told the ER Dr. that it was a hit and run." She gasps and quickly covers her mouth. "Yeah, I don't have a clue where my bike is or if it's even salvageable and I hate not knowing why this happened." I glance up at Wise and notice the frown on his face matches the one on Shane's. Something tells me they know more about what happened and I plan on getting down to the bottom of it.

"Can I bother you for something to drink? I need to take my pain pills."

"Of course," Natalie leaps up, rushing toward the kitchen.

"Okay guys. How about one of you tell me why you're both looking at me like one of you is the kid who took the last cookie from the cookie jar and the other one knows better than to tattletale on him?" They look at each other and then turn back to me. Wise sits beside me while Shane slips out toward Natalie's direction.

"Angel, we think it was retaliation," Wise says keeping his voice low.

"Oh," I say. The conversation I eavesdropped on between Wise and Decks floods my memory bank and so does everything else leading up to the night of my accident. It rushes in so fast I feel lightheaded.

"I'm so sorry," Wise offers honestly taking my hand in his. "He'll get the fuckers for doing this to you and make them pay."

"No." I shake my head and retrieve my hand from his. "Just leave it alone. You can't be certain that's what happened and I'd rather not be a reason for a drug war. Please Wise, just let it go."

"It's not my call Angel," Wise says staring into my eyes.

"Decks already knows," it's a statement instead of a question. Of course they told him, they'd be stupid to withhold anything from Decks.

"Yeah," he nods drawing his hand up to the back of his neck. "And he's hot about it."

"We have to stop this. I can't be the reason he wants to attack another mob boss." I rush my words hearing Natalie and Shane coming back in the room. "You have to help me, Wise."

"Help you do what Angel?" Natalie asks carrying in a glass of ice water.

"He's going to help me upstairs," I offer glancing over at him.

"I've got it," Shane steps over and lifts me up like I weigh nothing.

I glance over his shoulder at Wise flashing him a look of pleading. He nods and reaches for his cell. Upstairs Shane sets me down on my feet and then turns to leave.

"Wait," I beg. "Wise told me Decks is going to do something foolish because of my accident. Is there any way to stop him?" He shakes his head, "Fucking shit, Shane. Do not give me the silent treatment again." I snap and he growls back, instantly tired of my attitude and tone.

"He's already made the call Angel. It's done."

I slump down feeling the heavy burden on my back. Shane escorts me over to the bed before I fall. He helps me with sitting before taking the spot beside me.

"This is all wrong," I mumble.

"This is our lives. I'm not going to say it's good, but it's what we've chosen."

I shake my head, staring into his light hazel eyes with my mouth hanging open, "Why?"

He shrugs. "I didn't go looking for it. It just sort of found me."

"Yeah," I mumble completely in despair over Decks actions. Shane leaves me alone and I lie back on the pillow allowing the events and information run through my mind. I am too exhausted to fight the 'big bad wolf' that is drugs at the moment, but when I'm better, fuckers better watch out. I'm gettin' my bitch on!

A knock on my door wakes me from a light sleep. I stretch before saying, "Come in."

"Hey," Blues comes into the room and then takes up a spot near me on the bed.

I blink several times and after a minute I realize that I'm not dreaming. He's actually here. "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to see you of course," he says pulling me up and sliding in behind me. He wraps his arm around me and kisses the side of my head. He touches the cast on my left arm and winces.

"Blues, I don't think it's a good idea to do this in Wise's house," I whisper.

"They went out. We're all alone, Doll." I twist around to the right and fine a proud smirk displayed on his handsome face.

"Are we now?" I ask, reaching up with my good hand to cup his jaw. The stumble is thick and scratchy, like he hasn't shaved in a week. I lean away and get a good look at his face. There are dark circles under his eyes and deep worry lines etched all over his flawless face.

"What's wrong? You look like shit." I turn my body lying on my right side so that we're face to face staring into each other's eyes _. Oh those sapphire eyes._

"I'm so glad you're back," he says truthfully tilting his head forward and touching his forehead to mine and running his long fingers through my hair. "I was scared shitless when you didn't return. Everyone expected you to be at Holidays on New Year's Eve. When you didn't show I thought it may have been because of me." His eyes drift closed briefly. "Then a couple of days later I ran into Decks and he told me that you still hadn't come back. His whole demeanor was strange. He wasn't himself."

"What do you mean?" I ask, sitting up a little straighter, happy to switch the subject from him worrying about me to what I already know is wrong with Decks: Ryske.

"He was pissed off that he hadn't heard from you," Blues says running his hand over my hair, pushing some behind my ear. He tilts his head to the side. "Are you sure there isn't anything more than friendship between you? He acts like a jilted lover."

"No," I sigh. "He wants more, but that's just _not_ the kind of relationship I'm looking for."

Strangely, he doesn't respond to that answer. Instead he pulls me against his chest and just holds me. We lie silently on the bed for about thirty minutes before we hear a car pulling into the driveway. He glances down at me with sad puppy dog eyes and kisses my lips tenderly. My whole body comes to life with his kiss. It is simply the most riveting kiss any man has ever given me. I don't want it to end. And I don't want Blues to leave. There has never been a man who was capable of holding my attention for longer than a few dates, but Blues is shattering all kinds of records in my score book. _I want him_ _so much that it leaves me blindsided and breathless_.

_I want him_? I stare at him and know that from this moment what we have is different.

"Get some rest, Doll, and I'll see you soon," he promises moving off the bed. He leans down and places a kiss on my forehead before spinning around and leaving.

Loud voices greet him as he descends the staircase and Natalie's is the loudest. It's only a few seconds before she's standing in my room with a quirked eyebrow.

"Are you alright?" she asks biting back a stupid knowing smile.

"I am. Thank you." I shift around the bed so that I can place my feet on the floor. "Except that I have to pee like crazy. Ugh! This is going to be fun." I indicate my cast in a sling and my tied hospital scrubs waistband. "I guess the nurse didn't think about potty breaks when she knotted it ninety-five times." I chuckle.

"I'll get it," she offers dropping down to her knees so she can pick at the ridiculous tie. "Angel?" she asks staring intently at the string. I wait for her question, but all she can do is open her mouth and then bite down on her lip. It's like she can't decide if she really wants to know the answer to her question. Odd. _What could have chatty Natty all 'cat's got your tongue?'_

"I'm fine," I offer confidently and she nods after glancing up at me.

"He broke everything off with Lourdes on Christmas Eve." _The last night I saw him_.
Chapter Forty

Keeping the details about my accident from Decks was impossible and I should have known better. He showed up at Natalie's house the very next afternoon demanding that I return home with him. He says that he feels that my life is still in jeopardy and being with him will keep me safe. Something strange is happening to Decks. He's becoming more excitable and weirdly more explosive. After leaving the Kingston's, he insisted on taking me to dinner, but we avoided his normal hangouts in the downtown district. He brought me to a small, fancy Italian restaurant west of Atlanta and he has hardly spoken since I agreed to his earlier coercions, which is completely out of character for him.

"How is business at the traps?" I ask, slicing my fork through a fluffy wedge of Tiramisu. Clearly he didn't expect me to ask him about this because he stares at me for a few moments before responding.

"It's fine," he answers flatly, placing his folded arms on the table and leaning in toward me. "Have you missed hanging out in the shitholes or are you ready to break probation and get high?" Stealing my fork, he smirks before scooping up a big bite of my dessert. He makes a big production out of licking my fork slowly and seductively before saying, "I'll give you whatever you need. Just tell me your pleasure Angel."

Ignoring his ridiculous attempt at seduction, I tell him exactly what I want. "I will go mad sitting at your house all damn day long. Since I can't work at the TatHouse until after my arm heals..." I pause, lower my voice to an octave that makes me sound all sultry and lusty, and then whisper, "Decks, I want you to take me." _Yeah, there's no way he will resist this intentionally misleading request._

"Angel," his eyes zero in on my mouth where I hold my irresistible fake pout before cutting him off with a soft laugh and then correct myself.

I smile sweetly. "I mean that I want you to take me with you and let me help. I promise not to get in your way. I just miss spending time with you."

"Really?" He shallows hard, pulling his chocolate brown eyes away from my lips and glancing up at me truly happy with my confession.

I nod. "I think my accident woke me up. I've been careful for so long now that I sort of lost myself." I shrug innocently while internally rolling my eyes at the bullshit I'm feeding him. "I feel like I've been given a second chance to live life how I want instead of how others expect." His expression shifts abruptly to annoyed, and I wonder what caused that out of the ordinary reaction. I stare at him realizing he isn't looking at me anymore. While focusing on something behind me the brown in his eyes turn a charcoal shade. I twist around slightly to get a look at what's set him on edge, but he grips my arm and shakes his head, still completely distracted by whom or whatever it is.

"Do not turn around," he growls softly. Fury rolls off of him in waves and it has my curiosity going apeshit.

"What's wrong Decks?"

"Get your purse and go to the ladies room beside the cash register. When you come out go straight to the car." Clenching his jaw tightly, he pierces me with a determined glare and then hands me his keys before saying, "Do not look for me. Do not stop. And do not make eye contact with anyone. Do you understand?" Clearly, his orders are not to be disobeyed. I nod and follow his instructions exactly.

After a while two large Hispanic men stroll out of the restaurant looking as furious as Decks did before I left him sitting at the table. The men climb into a black Mercedes, squalling their tires on the pavement as they streak passed me. Another minute later Decks steps out the door, glances around the area and makes his way to the car.

"Are you alright?" he asks watching me intently. I nod plastering a fake smile. "Thank you for doing as I asked. It really means a lot to me that you followed my instructions without question or hesitation. I apologize if I freaked you out. I thought I had brought us to a remote place where we wouldn't be found so easily. Clearly I was wrong, but I'll not be so foolish in the future where you're concerned. Now, I'm going to make your wish come true." He holds my confused look for a moment before he reaches down, takes my hand in his and whispers, "You are not leaving my side for a second."

I glance nervously from him to the front of the restaurant before speaking, "Decks will you tell me what that was about?"

Disappointed that I didn't join him in his happiness, he huffs and releases my hand. He stays quiet for a minute, propping his arm on the window and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Angel, I don't like when someone messes with what is mine. Not my business, not my family and damn sure not the woman I'm falling for." _Oh shit_. He shifts in his seat, recapturing my hand again. His touch is gentler this time, holding me like he would a priceless treasure. Then he looks deeply into my eyes before adding, "They will _never_ touch you again."

"Decks," I whisper, feeling my heart drop into the pit of my stomach. "What did you do?" He's done something bad. I feel it like an elephant sitting on my chest and a dominating force inside of me is screaming wildly. Suddenly I'm not sure if I want to hear his response.

"I made sure that the ones who put you in the hospital got the message that you are _mine_ and no one will ever touch you again," he growls so deeply it forces a shudder through my entire body and I fight back the gasp, lodging it in my throat. Although he hasn't confessed to a crime I understand that because of me someone has died from his order.

He runs his hand up the side of my face, tracing his thumb along the tip of my earlobe while pushing his fingers through my hair. I bite back the bile rising in my throat when he puts his hands on me. "I will do anything for you, Angel."

I do not take his words lightly. Decks isn't the kind of man to mince words or make empty promises. He won't just let my waiting game continue either. I'm running out of time. This assignment has become more than I ever expected and it needs to end now.

"Let's get you home," he says, smiling at me while staring at my lips before pulling out of the parking lot.

Thank god I'm injured. Otherwise he would be expecting more from me than he will ever get. If Decks was the last man on earth there is no way in hell that I would ever sleep with him. That's a guarantee I'll keep even if my life depends on it. He will never have me, _ever_!

"On Sunday's I have brunch at my uncle's house. If you aren't feeling up to it this weekend we can stay home."

"Hmm?" Finally, understanding his request and finding my voice I say, "No, I couldn't ask you to do that for me. I'm sure I'll feel better by then. Besides, I wouldn't mind seeing your aunt again." Driving down the highway, his lips stretch wide with a very contented smile.

"That's good to hear," Decks chuckles. "Camille will be please to see you too. She asked about you the last time I was there."

"And your sister?" I know there is no way that bitch will be happy to see me.

"Lourdes joining us again is likely since she isn't with Blues now, but like I told you before she isn't a concern for you. I've made myself perfectly clear with her on where you and I stand. Lourdes may be a total bitch, but she isn't stupid. She won't go against me on this." He has entirely too much faith in that wench.

We pull into the garage of Decks' house and he quickly walks around to open my door. Once inside he escorts me up to my room where he presses his lips to the side of my head and offers a soft spoken goodnight. This man's behavior is truly becoming somewhat of a challenge to deal with. I must figure out a way to get him to give up the information on Nelson soon. What is it that would make a man like Decks roll over on his own family? There must be something that means more to him than the world of drugs and gangs. Once I find out what the damn thing is I won't rest until he takes my offer.

Removing my sling from my arm I undress and slip into the silk pajamas I bought a few weeks ago. This isn't my home, but it's nice to be back here after everything that has happened this past week. Realizing that I haven't made contact with my family, or Kris since the accident I cross the room and lock my bedroom door before slipping my cell out of my backpack. There are ten missed calls from Russ, four from Marcus and one from Kris. I'm not sure what Marcus and Kris want, but I guarantee I can guess Russ' reason for calling.
Chapter Forty-One

The remainder of this week has been hell. I've had to remind myself so many times about tolerating all of the bullshit that this fucked up world requires me to do and say things that make me want to vomit. I must stay focused and finish this job soon because I am getting sick of hearing my internal voice.

It all started when I returned Russ' call.

" _Hey," Russ says calmly answering his phone._

" _I'm not going to like this one bit am I?" I whisper rushing into my bathroom and turning on the shower to mute out my voice._

" _Are you okay?" he asks diverting the topic quickly. That usually means he is softening me up for a bad blow._

I sigh, knowing that I might as well tell him what's happened on my end first. "Not really, no. I had an incident."

" _Yeah, the city worked the accident and one of the guys got word back to me. I'm really glad you weren't hurt any worse than you are." Pause. "Sam, I'm sorry that I couldn't be at the hospital." His voice is thick with emotion. As much shit as we give each other on the job and at home, I know that Russ cares deeply for me. If the situation was reversed I know I would have freaked the fuck out._

" _It wasn't an accident," I say, sitting on the edge of the tub. His quick intake of air tells me that he wasn't expecting that bit of information._

" _Who?"he barks angrily. In the background it sounds like he just slammed his fist through the wall._

" _Russ," I start. "Calm the fuck down before you beat the shit out of the house."_

" _Tell me what the hell you know because I'm going to kill the bastards..." he continues on for a while so I pull the phone away from my ear until I hear him calling my name._

" _Russ, if you're finished I'll tell you what's going on." He grunts his disdain and I explain. "I truly don't know who did it, but I can tell you that the fucker forced me off the road. I remember that it was a newer white luxury SUV." I scrub my hand along the spot at the back of my neck and rub away the chills that flash across my skin remembering the details of that night. "I'm not sure if they will see the inside of a jail cell any time soon. Apparently Decks believes it was a retaliation hit in order to pass a message along to him."_

" _Sam?" His tone is sharp and it makes me uneasy, adding to my stress. "There was a hit on Juan's family. Someone caught his nephew after closing hours two nights ago. They put a bullet through the back of his head and left him hanging in the meat cooler inside the restaurant."_

" _Son of a bitch!" I say a little too loudly. "Shit hold on. Decks may have heard me yell." I sit quietly waiting for him to pound on my door. After a minute the room remains quiet so I continue speaking._

" _Russ, it was Decks. Well, not him personally...I don't think, but he ordered it. He all but confessed it to me earlier. Now we're being watched by the Hijos de la Sangre."_

" _What game is he playing with them? He would never cross the sons before."_

" _I wish I knew. Decks has ordered me to stay at his side at all times, which means that I'm going to be joining him on these trips to the east coast soon. Hopefully I'll discover just who is behind the manufacturing of Ryske. I've seen the effects this shit is having on some of the people here. It has to go...like now." I growl. "If I get something interesting I'll let you know."_

We end our conversation soon after and because I'm so caught up in the gory details of the hit I forget to call back Kris and Marcus. A day later I get a text from Marcus reminding me that I need to call him, but I put it off again. Right now my focus must be on the X'kapz. Refereeing between my two brothers or offering Marcus advice just can't be a priority right now. Nothing matters more at this moment than shutting down X'kapz.

At the end of the week, Decks takes me to a new trap house where they are making bank on weed and coke. Minder called Decks complaining about a customer so we make a special trip. If my week wasn't already shitty with the guilt of someone's life being vanquished because of me, seeing Chelsea, the young girl who I sent to the hospital after a Ryske trip, sitting on the front steps patiently waiting when we arrive fucking flushed all of that bullshit away.

"Holy shit, Angel?" Chelsea gasps standing up and meeting me.

I cut my eyes to Decks who has a frown tipping down his mouth. "We recently met at the TatHouse." I explain.

He climbs the steps, but turns around before entering the house. "Angel, you need to come with me," he says in a kind voice. He isn't throwing his weight around on this order so I invite Chelsea in with me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask following behind Decks.

"I'm here with my friend." She says pointing inside the house. "He's working with your guy." She offers me a knowing wink and I give her my fake smile.

"Oh really? I had no idea. I haven't been around much lately," I say holding up my cast covered arm and continue, "I couldn't tell you who all is working here now."

"He doesn't work here exactly. The way he explained it to me is Decks offered him some type of subcontracting gig." She shrugs and I'm just as confused thinking about how you get a gig like that here.

We walk down the hallway leading toward a back room in the house. Passing through the doorway, my feet stumble when I look up and see Mad Hatter watching me with Chelsea. The look he flashes is total disgust. I don't know what this guy's problem is with me, but from the looks he continues to give me I believe that he hates me almost as much as I hate him.

"Chels, come," he snaps and she obeys without hesitation. He wraps her in his arms possessively and that's when it hits me. Mark Hatfield is Chelsea's boyfriend and her Ryske supplier. _Motherfucker_!

Minder's voice is unusually loud for someone always so laid back. "He comes in here making demands on me, throwing your name around and telling me that my ass is on the line if I don't do as he instructs. What the hell Decks? Is this crazy fuck in charge of the house now?" He points directly at Mad.

"No, but he is to be treated as a guest when he visits and our guests get to sample some of the goods. If that's all that he wants just give it to him Minder."

"I don't give two shits about him sampling, but I'll be damned if his sick ass will come up in here tossing out threats to me. Now, either he goes or I go." He gestures toward Decks. "Your call boss, I'm square with either way you want to play it." Minder's jaw ticks as he glares at Mad Hatter. It makes me wonder what the hell Minder knows about the creep besides his history of child labor.

"Alright," Decks says calmly spinning around toward Mad Hatter. "When I told you to come by and help yourself to the goodies I didn't expect you to uproot my whole organization." He insists before flashing a cute smile toward me.

"Ah fuck him and his whiny shit," Mad Hatter laughs with an obnoxious tone. He is truly repulsive. I hate watching his nearly black eyes slithering like a reptile in the swamp as they scan over Chelsea and then toward me. "He's acting like one of these bitches, maybe he needs to pull his panties out of his ass and chill."

Decks charges at him like a raging bull taunted by a red cloak. "I'm in no fucking mood to play your psycho bullshit games." He grabs Mad Hatter's collar and pulls him close to his face when he snarls, "If you ever talk about Angel that way again I will fucking rip your sack off and shove it up your shithole personally. Now get the fuck out of my house."

Mad Hatter's glare is venomous. When he walks passed me I can practically see the wheels turning with something nasty to say, but surprisingly he keeps his ideas to himself. Chelsea tells him that she's going to catch a ride back later and he nearly losses his shit on the spot. I can't believe that she actually let him leave in that mood. It makes me nervous about what she is going to go back home to after her public defiance. She tells me that she was moving out tomorrow anyway and she doesn't care what he has to say about it. Even though I know we haven't heard the last of him it is still the best damn way to end a shitty week.
Chapter Forty-Two

"You look better. How are you feeling?" Natalie asks pouring me a tall glass of sweet tea and dropping a thin wedge of lemon on the rim.

"Thank you honey," I take a sip. "I feel much better, but I am ready to get this itchy ass thing off." I rap my knuckles on the plaster.

"Ugh, I bet. It would drive me nuts to be so restricted." She sips her tea and slides the plate of toasted pound cake toward me. I shake my head, refusing the offer. "Your loss," She shrugs her shoulder, takes a piece and pops it in her mouth. "Tell me what's new. Where are the little Princess and the Minion?" I crane my neck. I've really grown to like Natalie and Wise's two children Dean and Simone. I just can't let her know it.

"They're over at a neighbor's house. They have two children their ages. Boy, it can be a lifesaver having another family in the neighborhood."

"Cool," I say not really sure what else to say to her statement. Chewing on another piece of cake, Natalie watches me suspiciously. I look down thinking there may be something on my shirt and then sweep my hand across my face. "Why are you staring at me?" She shrugs like it's nothing, but her eyes tell a different story. "Natalie, just say it."

"Well first I want to ask a favor," she smiles sweetly.

"Okaaaayyy?"

"I need a babysitter for the weekend of that damn football game," she watches me and I know my face is stone cold because I'm waiting for her to ask me who to recommend, but she doesn't ask that question. Nope. She hits me with something utterly unexpected. "Will you stay here with the kids? It's just two nights. We'll be home before you know it and they are both pretty much self-sufficient. Except at bath time you can just let them do their own thing." She takes a breath and stares expectantly.

"What?" I choke, blink rapidly and run my one sweaty hand over the top of my pant leg, clearly suffering from an anxiety attack. "No, no, please tell me you're kidding."

She shakes her head, "I need you Angel."

"What about the lifesaver family?" I say with what feels like the last bit of breath left in my lungs. I take a deep breath and debate the hell out of her idea. "Wouldn't they be a better choice? I mean they are already working with similar models, and it would make more sense to let them stay with their friends instead of me. Right? Besides, I'm injured and on serious pain medication. I'm not even allowed to operate heavy equipment so dealing with living things is probably forbidden too. It isn't good parenting to let someone like me watch your precious little minions...um children. Wait," I gasp. "What if there was some freak accident? I can't handle puke or other gross bodily functions." she busts out laughing while I slip into full blown paranoia. "The apocalypse could hit and then what? You've left your children with me. I will lose my shit Natalie and they will become zombie food."

"Calm down," she says stifling her laugh and pulling a serious look.

"Okay, but don't freak me out like that again." I say wild-eyed and feeling the soft skin under my eye twitching.

"We may be moving soon," she says changing the subject. _Thank goodness_.

"Really?" I say pressing a finger to the skin under my left eye trying to make it stop jumping. "Like to a new house or away?"

She smiles before saying, "Back to Baltimore."

"Oh," I'm shocked by this answer. "I thought Wise was never going back there again."

"He told me that he wants to move the kids back to a good neighborhood. The school system here is okay, but he wants the kids to have a better education and back home they set higher quality standards on their students. I agree with him, but I'm just so happy about the idea that I couldn't care less what the reason is for going home."

Feeling relieved about them leaving this dark world behind I exhale loudly. "If that's what will make you happy then I'm all for the idea of you going back home. You know I've never been north of Virginia." I smirk when her eyes light up. "Maybe I'll visit."

"I would love that. And I know the kids would too." She stands to put her dish away and refill her glass.

The back door bursts open and in comes a crying Simone with Dean holding her hand. "Mommy," she cries at a level that only dogs can hear. "Mommy I got a boo boo." Dean releases her hand and she runs into her mommy's open arms.

"What happened to her Dean?" Natalie asks, running her hands over Simone's hair and down her face, whipping away the tears.

Dean shrugs, completely uninterested in the details of why his little sister is so upset. "She was playing over by the tree house and just started screaming. She pointed to her leg and cried so I brought her back home."

Natalie reaches down to Simone's leg, finding a large dark red bump. "Did something bite you Sweetie?"

"A spider," Simone shrills, burying her face into Natalie's chest. I slap my free hand over one ear and press my other against my shoulder hard, trying to stop the ringing in my head.

"Get my keys," she says calmly to Dean. "I need to take her to the doctor. Do you want to ride with us?" she asks me.

"Uh no," I snap, shaking my head furiously. "I don't do doctors. Another reason why I'm not the one to keep your kids, Natalie," I point out, grabbing my cell, sending Decks a message to come get me now.

"Okay, I think you're overreacting a bit."

"Exactly," I demand with a wild head bob and pointing a finger toward myself. "Major over-reactor here, and _not_ a good role model for those." I gesture toward the two kids staring all wild-eyed at me during my freak out.

"Okay, fine. Just lock up when you leave," she huffs, carrying Simone out to their SUV with a very disappointed Dean dragging his feet behind them. "Let's go son."

They leave me standing at the front door staring out at the empty street. No response from Decks after twenty minutes so I call for a taxi to pick me up. Twenty minutes later I lock up the Kingston residence and give the driver the address to Decks place.

"It's a little cool back here. Would you mind turning up the heat?" I ask the middle age man driving the cab.

"Sure thang," he drawls with a heavy southern accent. "You let me know if ya git too hot back yonder."

"I will. Thank you."

When we arrive at Decks house I remember that my keys are lying on the nightstand beside my bed and Decks isn't home. It's freezing outside now that the sun is dropping over the horizon and my teeth are beginning to chatter already.

I glance over at Blues house and sigh, "I can't do it." I tell myself. "I need to stay away from him so that I can stay focused, convince Decks that he needs to work with me and then get the hell away from this life."

I send another text to Decks and wait for his response. Fifteen minutes later I have my hand poised at the front door of Blues mansion when the door opens before I have a chance to knock.

"I was wondering if you were going to be stubborn and stand out in the freezing weather all night or come over here," Blues says with a fiery determination glowing in his sapphire eyes and a sexy as hell smile tugging at the corners of his sublime lips.

"You saw me?"

He nods. "Saw when the taxi dropped you off and watched as you debated something before you finally decided to walk over." He steps back, holding the door open for me. "Come on. Let's get you warmed up." After closing the door he reaches over and wraps his hand tenderly around my forearm and draws me against him. "God I've missed you, Doll," he confesses seconds before lowering his mouth to mine.

My body sways into him naturally, like an object being drawn by a gravitational pull toward the center of the earth, so utterly impossible to stop. He kisses me breathless before slipping his warm lips across my jaw line and down my neck. He releases my forearm, wrapping me into a strong embrace and hugs me carefully. My heart plummets into my gut completely consumed and weighed down by his tender affections. His lips softly move along my neck as he nuzzles into my hair.

What Blues is doing to me right now is breaking down every bit of strength I have worked so hard on lately. I have kept my mind focused and my body away from him intentionally so that I am not preoccupied with kinky sex scenarios that I _really_ want to experiment with him. This though is something so much worse than physics and the law of attraction. Blues is reaching into my soul and making me care for him and that fucking sucks.
Chapter Forty-Three

Sitting beside a roaring fire in the oversized kitchen, I sip gourmet hot chocolate while Blues moves around so comfortably while preparing a large pot of soup. His mansion has a modern touch with the stainless steel appliances, but the old world decor eclipses the sterile feeling they give off, making it feel warm and inviting.

For the life of me, I cannot keep my eyes off the sex-god in front of me. He is so good-looking with his hair a rumpled mess that I'll bet is anything that it isn't intentional. Blues has many hairstyles, each one is flattering, but there's something really charming about his tousled appearance tonight. His fitted gray tee-shirt and faded blue jeans do not match the setting, but he's so attractive that he wouldn't be out of place in a damn garbage truck wearing a pink tutu. I smile at that thought.

"Tell me something, Angel," Blues says catching my grin and mimicking it while he chops an assortment of vegetables on a cutting board. "I can tell that you are so much more than you want people to see." I tilt my head at that odd statement. "It's obvious you are intelligent, naturally goodhearted, and sexy as hell. What are you doing in this shithole world and why are you with Decks?" The smooth-tongued devil draws me in so naturally that I begin answering him before I realize what I'm doing. Luckily I somehow manage to stick with my cover story.

"I was raised in this world Blues. I guess you could say I'm a product of my surroundings." I shrug watching as his eyebrows pinch together. "Don't worry. I was a good girl growing up, but the rebel in me needed a release, something that could keep my mind off all the bullshit that life was throwing at me. You know?"

He nods, keeping his eyes fixed on the knife in his hand slicing through a bundle of fresh green beans. "I get that, but...there's something else, something deeper than just being a rebellious teen that drinks from her peer's cup of Kool-Aid and becomes a throw away. I can't put my finger on it, but you don't have the fixated lust for this life burning in your eyes like almost every other junkie."

"I'm clean," I tell him quickly defending myself for some strange reason. _Why don't I want him to think that badly about me?_ "I mean I'm on probation and you know how random the color code can be. I won't go back to jail."

"That's good," he says, while chewing on a piece of carrot. "You weren't high the night I met you either."

"No," I nod, watching his jaw working hard and then my gaze drops to his neck as he swallows. "Oh," I mumble, but recover with a cough to cover my embarrassing moan. Dammit he's distracting me again. I need to be the one asking all the personal questions. "What about you, Blues?"

He turns away, dropping the chopped veggies into the rapidly boiling water before answering, "I was raised, too privileged." He shrugs still facing away from me. "It went straight to my head. I tried to straighten up for a short time by becoming an acceptable member of society." He turns around and I see a strange darkening in his eyes. "But that life isn't possible for someone like me. Being born into the life of luxury, I was raised to be expectant and always desire more than what I actually deserve." That sounded rehearsed and he does not come across as the person he's describing.

Using his words against him, I smirk and toss back, "I don't see it."

"Behave Doll." He winks and his grin becomes wicked. "I'm trying to make you something nice to eat, that will warm you up, but I will gladly let it burn and take you to my bed where I damn sure will have you heated up in seconds." _Oh damn_. No need to go upstairs after that threat. I'm completely flushed needing him to switch on the air conditioning before I have a heat stroke. My face burns as hot as the fire behind me so I know my reaction is clearly visible to Blues. "Fuck, you liked my threat," he growls deep and low, stalking around the island. Towering above me he slides the back of his knuckles over my bright red left cheek. "You are so beautiful and I am totally falling for you, Doll."

"What?" I pant confused by the thrilling combination of his threat, the feel of his skin on mine and his confession. I stare into his eyes, seeing more than desire, and the fierceness of it causes me to swallow hard. I move his hand away from my cheek, but he captures me and draws my fingers to his lips. He kisses the tip of each before placing his dark lips in the center of my palm tenderly. "Blues..." I moan completely enraptured by him.

"Angel," he whispers against my hot flesh. Crystallized dark blues eyes hold my world still on the apex of something reckless and necessary. "Stay with me."

My eyes widen from his tenderness and my personal fear of his request, making me pull away from his hold. "I can't." Shaking my head slowly, I add, "It's just too complicated right now. Decks is...well, he hasn't been acting like himself lately and I don't think it would be wise to poke that bear."

He watches me for a moment and I see him relent as he thinks about my statement. "Do you know what's going on with him?" he asks changing the subject.

If Decks is using Ryske and Blues isn't aware then I'm not sure if breaking that kind of news to him is a good idea. Shaking my head and lowering my gaze, I say softly, "I really don't know." He continues to watch me before finally stepping away and wordlessly returning back to the pot on top of the stove.

Even with the fire blazing in the room, I feel a temperature drop with him moving so far away from me. I know it's completely bollocks for me to fancy him, but I think his description of how he is falling for me is an accurate analogy for what I'm suffering with too. However, mine is a fall from grace that began the moment I screwed Blues rather than trifling and unrequited emotions

Blues stirs the soup remaining silent for several minutes. He finally turns to me and I see that he is pulling a fake smile while he thrust his hand through his messy hair, clearly struggling with appeasing my earlier request. Needing to calm the odd guilt rolling around in the pit of my belly I change the subject.

"What did you do during this acceptable member of society stint?" I ask watching him intently and seeing a spark flash in his eyes. Could it be pride? Now I'm even more curious and need to know what pushed Ethan out of law enforcement and right into the opposing world of drugs.

"I'm not sure that's acceptable table discussion," Blues says, pulling up a barstool and sitting next to me. His knee brushes against my thigh and I force myself to remain in control.

"Let me be the judge of that," I say playfully.

He bobs his head, staring at my cast laying on the counter top and starts, "Believe it or not, I was an officer of the law." There is definite pride in his voice. Since I'm also a cop I recognize that tone easily, but play it off with feigning shock. He glances at me and continues, "Yeah, that's the reaction I always get when I tell people that I used to be one of the good guys." He chuckles softly, glancing over at our meal still cooking. "I had a good run with it, but something just...snapped and I decided I was done with all the goody two-shoes bullshit." His demeanor shifts instantly and a bitterness blooms in his voice. "About a year ago I decided to accept Nelson's offer to be on his payroll. My father was one of his closest associate so it didn't take long for me to move up the ladder, so to speak. And here I am...one of the most powerful men in our organization." He winks, but he doesn't look happy about being on the penthouse level of the drug-world food chain.

"What happened? I mean with the police job."

He turns back to me and holds me in a frozen gaze before he finally says, "That's a story for another day, Doll."

I'm totally disappointed. I was hoping that with his confession of feelings for me that he would give me more on what pushed him into this screwed up life. Deciding that I want to make Blues an ally I don't push the issue and soon our conversation drifts to non-threatening topics.

"Fifty yard line tickets?" Blues asks smiling with a renewed sparkle in his eyes. "You have to do it."

"No," I say dragging the word out while shaking my head dramatically. "You don't understand. I'm like allergic to kids or maybe it's more like their allergic to me. Either way, I don't need that hassle. Natalie and Wise will find the best person to keep their kids alive while they go to the Super Bowl."

"What if I offer to help?"

I arch both my eyebrows toward the ceiling before I laugh, "You, me and two kids. That's a riot. No. I don't think that's a good idea, Blues."

"What? You don't think I could keep them alive for forty-eight hours? I think you underestimate me, Doll. I am a people person and kids adore me. You and I together would be the perfect tag team against a couple of kids." He flashes a lopsided grin so adorable I actually think he might be telling me the truth about his powers of persuasion. Maybe I should accept his challenge so I can see that side of him for myself.
Chapter Forty-Four

Brunch with the Kennedy's is the only reason I am up so dang early on a Sunday. I straighten my hair and apply a light amount of makeup, looking natural and actually feeling more like myself since starting this assignment. The outfit I've chosen is a fitted butterscotch colored cowl neck shirt with dark blue jeans and leopard print heels. I grab my ivory trench coat and walk downstairs.

After eating dinner with Blues last night, we sat on the couch and talked about random things, nothing personal while songs from the eighties played in the background. It's so easy and comfortable being with him. About an hour later Decks showed up smelling like some nasty, cheap perfume mixed with marijuana smoke which leads me to believe he's getting his fix rather than waiting for me, like he promised. Being with both men at once is a challenge to say the least. My body has completely opposite effects for them. I am repulsed by Decks and my body reacts as such. My prickly skin and the hair standing on the back of my neck cautions me to avoid him at all cost. Unfortunately, I need him and must push down the flight scenario that my mind is encouraging. But with Blues around, the goose bumps and tingling he ignites with a simple look in my direction exposes me as a wanton slut. I battle with everything in me trying to convince myself that he isn't turning me on, but it's all a big fat ass lie. And after spending the evening with him, I am disheveled and hungrier for him more than ever before.

"Good morning," I say walking into Decks office. He sits quietly staring out the large window over the backyard.

"Hey, gorgeous," he says, spinning around and walking over to me. "Are you ready to face the family again?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." He takes my right arm and escorts me out to his truck.

When we arrive at the large estate, I feel a strange sensation run through my body. Being back here brings back memories of the wedding day and how dismissive Decks Uncle Nelson was to me. A sneaky smile spreads across my face as I fantasize about the look on Mr. Kennedy's face when he sees me after I end his rule over north Georgia. I'll bet dismissive is the last thing he will be then.

"You look really happy today," Decks says holding my hand as we enter the house and walk toward the dining room.

"I feel better so I am happy."

"Hello Hillary," Camille says as we take out seat at the large dining table. Her eyes sparkle when she recognizes me. "It is so nice of you to join us, Angel."

"Thank you Camille. It's lovely to see you as well." Sam Walker slips out on that response and a sparkle of happiness pops in Mrs. Kennedy's eye at my proper manners.

Brunch begins at ten thirty on the dot without Nelson. After eleven he graces us with his presence, grabbing a quick bite and telling Decks that he must speak with him. They head upstairs leaving me alone with Camille. Trying to come up with a plan to hear what they are discussing, I ask her to show me pictures from her daughter's wedding. As luck would have it she invites me upstairs and directs me into a large family room located across from Nelson's office. Camille points toward a closed door as we pass it, assuring me that Decks will see us when his meeting is over. Now to come up with a masterful plan that will allow me to overhear the conversation behind that closed door.

"Can I trouble you for some water? I was supposed to take my medicine with food but I forgot."

She smiles sweetly, placing the large photo album on the coffee table and stands, "Certainly dear. I'll be back in a few minutes. Just make yourself comfortable."

After I hear her shoes clacking down the stairs, I slip my heels off and tiptoe over to the sealed door, pressing my ear against it. I am giddy when I hear their voices aren't as muffled as I expected. From what I can hear they are discussing the Hijos de la Sangre and Nelson isn't happy about the recent death of Juan's nephew. Decks doesn't admit to anything, but it's clear that Nelson holds him responsible.

"Do not make me regret everything I did for you Hillary. You have no idea what I've sacrificed so that you would have a better life. One that your parents, God rest their souls, refused to provide for you," Nelson growls furiously.

Decks responds heatedly, "Nelson, I don't get what you think you gave up to help me after my parents died. The only one who relinquished anything was me. And if it hadn't been for me getting popped with paraphernalia and held in juvenile until you picked me up, I would still be living that way. You really think this life is so much better than living on the streets? You're wrong."

"It's too bad for you that you will never know what could have been. I own your ass. Do not forget it for one minute. You get the shit with the Hijos de la Sangre straightened out before more blood is shed." Lowering his voice he says, "If it isn't already too late."

Feeling a tap on my hand, I jerk my head around and don't see anyone, until I look down and find a cotton hair little boy looking up at me with his forehead crinkled and his eyes fixed on me. "Hey," he says charmingly. I'm not sure of his name, but he is one of Lourdes' twin sons. _Shit_.

"Hi," I say keeping my voice low and trying to get my heart rate back to normal, I hope he doesn't realize he has busted me on eavesdropping. Walking away from the door and the men's private talk I say, "I can't find the bathroom. You look like a big boy who knows this place pretty well. Could you show me where it is?

He grins as he reaches out for my hand. "I know where everything is in Uncle Nelson's house." He stares curiously at my cast covered arm. "Did you fall down?"

Not wanting to give him the gory details of my accident, I say, "Yeah, I fell. Lucky for me something broke my fall and in the process it broke my arm."

He laughs, "You're funny. I'm Jonesy. What's your name?" His big blue eyes twinkle staring up at me and sporadically glancing from my face to my arm as we continue walking.

"My name is Angel," I offer as he points toward the closed door at the end of the hallway.

"That's the potty," he states smiling proudly. "Bye, bye." He bounds away from me and I watch as he hops down the steps one at a time. After his head disappears behind the railing I sneak back toward Nelson's office. I know I probably only have a few moments before Camille returns, but I can't resist trying one more time.

"...ships to Nassau. I expect you to be there Tuesday. Whatever endeavors you are working on the side ceases now. I won't tolerate you screwing this one up," Nelson says with finality.

I hear clacking heels quickly ascending the stairs while a familiar little voice talks at a fast pace. I rush toward the family room and slip back into my stilettos just as the two boys, Camille and Lourdes enters the room.

"Are you kidding me?" Lourdes demands loudly, seeing me standing in the middle of the room pretending to be looking at pictures, hanging on the walls. I turn my head to glance over my shoulder and am greeted by an ice cold glare from the Queen B. It is remarkable how different her sons' looks are from hers. Both boys run over to me and Jonesy begins chattering about who I am and what happened to my arm. Still standing in the doorway, Lourdes interrupts, "What will it take to get you out of our lives? Wait! How does my son know who you are?" She stalks over to me and glares with hate filled blue eyes. They may be the same color as her sons', but there isn't a bit of compassion shining from the hollowness of her eyes, like what Jonesy showed me earlier. "Well?"

"Your charming son escorted me to the powder room like a real gentleman," I answer, plastering a sweet smile as I glance down at the adorable little one now poking his chest out proudly. "Thank you again, Jonesy."

"You little –" her words are cut short when Decks strolls into the room.

"Sis," Decks shouts. Scrubbing his hands over the heads of the twins, he pierces her with a daring stare. Lourdes swirls around with a shriek, mumbling about my social status not matching up as she leaves the room. From my experience she is a woman on the verge of a severe breakdown. I smile just thinking about how entertaining it will be when she loses her shit.

"Uncle Decks, she's an Angel," Jonesy says grinning up at Decks while pointing at me. I laugh at him twisting his words.

Decks looks from him to me and with heat filled eyes that run the length of me before he replies, "Yes she is."
Chapter Forty-Five

Of course the trip to Nassau is on the luxurious Kennedy family private jet. For me it isn't that big of a deal. My parents have owned private jets all of my life. But for Angel, this is a new experience. The more I croon over the luxury plane the wider Decks' smile grows. He loves showing me how important he is and what amazing things he has access to because of his wealth. The hotel we're booked at is the legendary Graycliff Hotel, _choice hotel of celebrities and dignitaries when visiting the island_ , Decks boasts. After depositing our luggage in the room, Decks continues trying to impress me with the hotel's exclusive seating in the world renowned restaurant. It is decadent dining, but I am too anxious to enjoy the meal while wondering why we are in the Bahamas.

"You've been quiet all day. Is something wrong?" Decks asks walking me back to my room. He turns the knob and gently pushes open the door allowing me inside before shutting it behind him.

"Nothing is wrong," I lie. "I'm kind of blown away by all of this stuff."

He scans the room slowly before allowing his gaze to land on me, "This place is definitely the best on the island."

"Wow, you really live this life." It sounds more like a question than a statement and he nods his head. "It's overwhelming for someone like me. I could never get use to all of the overindulgence that you're accustomed to daily."

He strolls over to the balcony where I'm standing, looking out at the town below, "I think you could ace this life Angel and I plan on keeping you in the finest money can offer."

"Uh no, Decks, I can't let you do that." He slides a hand from my elbow up to my shoulder, pausing on my collar bone and I continue digging myself out of this hole. "We are friends and friends do not spend this kind of money on one another." I stare at him, but his eyes are locked on his thumb slowly gliding back and forth along my collar. "Decks?"

He blinks then glances out at the scenery behind me before focusing on me again. "I need to leave for a while. Can I trust you to stay in tonight? I can't even think about you roaming the streets here alone."

Shrugging, I nod and lie, "I'm beat so I'm crashing early."

I can't let Decks scurry along to some important business meeting without trailing him. I'm too close to gaining enough on this case to let him duck out without me.

"Good night," he whispers pressing his lips against my cheek and lingering a little too long for my comfort.

I step back from his hold and twist around toward the bathroom. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes." Disappointment heavily saturates that tiny word.

He shuffles out of the room and I rush to the door, opening it quietly so I can watch which direction he goes. He steps into his hotel room next to mine. I know I only have minutes to get my shit together. I slip off my heels, exchanging them for my ballet flats. After tugging my hair into a tight pony tail, luckily with minimal problems due to my cast, I slip on a pair of fitted black Capri pants and a black tee. I forgo the sling and replace it with my hobo bag holding my small throw away gun. I hear the close of his door and rush to the window. After no more than a minute he strolls out the front door and waits awkwardly for a few minutes.

He doesn't go either direction until a car pulls up to the curb in front of him. I see a woman wearing dark sunglasses and a straw hat sitting behind the steering wheel. After he slides into the passenger seat, the woman practically throws herself into his arms. They kiss wildly, like familiar lovers. I memorize every detail of the vehicle and what I can see of her. But it's like she's trying to conceal her identity so I don't get anything beyond her clothing description. The car pulls away and as they rush down the street passed my window he glances up. Thankfully he's unable to see me hiding in the shadow of my room.

_Damn_. Grabbing my cell out of my bag I call Russ.

"Hello?" he answers weakly.

"Hey it's me. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just exhausted from lack of sleep," Russ yawns. "Since I can't risk being spotted by the X'kapz, I'm in disguise and trailing Mad Hatter. He is steadily running through all of the dealers in the county. It's reminiscent of your last case when he got shut out and had to turn to manufacturing meth in his house."

"I hate that piece of shit," I growl. "Have you spotted a young woman with him? She's petite with curly reddish brown hair?" I ask worrying about Chelsea keeping her distance from the jerk.

"No, he's been alone most of the time."

"Good," I exhale feeling the heaviness leaving me. "Can you check a registration for me through dispatch? I don't expect you to get anything, but it's worth a shot. I'm in Nassau with Decks and he just got into a vehicle with a woman that he was very friendly with. I started to track him, but I wasn't prepared for him to leave by car."

"Are you jealous Sammy?" he laughs.

"You know it," I say cynically. "I am weak and Decks' smooth moves are wearing me down."

I give the information to him and like I expected the registration isn't on file through our national computer system or through Interpol. My senses are on high alert about this flight to the island. I assumed when I overheard Nelson talking with Decks Sunday, he was ordering him to find stash houses here for a shipment he is expecting. I need to find out where this is going down. I grab up my bag and rush out the door and down to the corner. From here I'm about six blocks away from the docks on this side of the island. Would he have us stay on the same side that he's expecting the ship to port? No. He stayed here because it is the best on the island. And if I know Decks like I'm beginning to think I do, he would chose a stash house on the remote side of the island or in an area of an unsuspecting subdivision.

"Taxi ma'am," a local man asks me as I peer off in the direction of Paradise Cay. "Just four dollars and I'll take ya anywhere ya need to be on dis island." His Bohemian accent is thick. I glance into the cab that he's indicating is his and it looks immaculate. I pray he's trustworthy and knows this damn island well.

"Deal, but I may possibly need you to take me to more than one location. How does one hundred bucks for the night sound?" His smile is brilliant as he opens the back door allowing me in.

"The name is Marcus and I'll take ya anywhere ya want to go ma'am," he repeats his offer and I chuckle at the coincidence of him sharing my brother's name.

We check three ports before Marcus asks me exactly what I'm looking for and I hesitate telling him anything, but then I glance at the clock and decide I am left with no other choice.

"A shipment is expected in tonight, a very special shipment. I would suspect it may be delivered in an area that has vacant homes or possibly near a community of houses that has some for rent." He pulls the car over immediately and cranes his head around looking at me.

"If it's a special cigarette you are looking for I can get dat easily, ja?"

"No," I rub my hand over my forehead and say, "I need to go where they deliver it."

His eyes sparkle briefly with understanding. "Easy, I'll take you, but you don't want to be a hang around dat area too long. It's not safe for you."

Marcus drives through the center of town, retracing out path, but continues on passed the hotel. He rounds the corner of the block where the cruise ships are docked. I glance up at the rear view mirror seeing him staring back at me. He winks and his smile is telling.

"They use the cruise ships?" I ask taken aback by their brazenness.

He shakes his head and points at a small barge that is ported at the end of the dock. "Dey use doze."

As we approach, I spot the vehicle Decks left in, parked in front of a rundown house, but do not tell Marcus. There's no need for him to suspect anything, other than I want to know how drugs gets on the island.

"You can drop me off here," I say a block away.

"I warn you," He stares at me with concern filling his eyes, "Take no chances here."" I pass the money over the seat and thank him for his help, after climbing out of the car. He drives away and I walk back toward the house where Decks may be doing business. I keep my hand on my bag, slung over my shoulder prepared for this going bad any second.
Chapter Forty-Six

Carefully, stepping over a stack of boards haphazardly thrown against the house, I make my way around the side hoping to find an alternative access other than the front door. From the sounds of it, there are several people inside, but I have yet to make visual contact since all the window panes are blacked out with spray paint or cardboard.

"Here's your cut. Distribute freely just like before," a woman says tersely before asking, "Who was the girl you had at the airfield?"

"She's a friend," Decks says, his tone is bordering on a snarl. "And no one for you to concern yourself with."

"I will be the one to decide what I am concerned with," she snaps back at him. "You two take the rest of the packages to the house next door and secure it up tight." I hear footsteps shuffling around inside the house toward the back door. "Alright Mr. Kennedy, I have a ship waiting for me on the north side so I must end this evening early. Your next delivery will be in the Gulf a week from Friday. I will see you there."

Hearing her finalizing their meeting, I move away slowly, being careful to not make a sound. I must get back to the hotel before Decks or he is going to be pissed off if he discovers me missing. The metal back door screeches open and I rush around the edge to hide. My adrenaline just went volcanic on me. I need to get the hell out of here before one of these guys spots me. I lean against the house and pray they are not walking my direction with their packages to store them in the house on this side. No such luck. Their incredibly loud stomping continues toward me. I drop down to my knees and then lay down flat on the damp ground. There is a tiny bit of shadow on this side, but the moon is almost completely full and wouldn't you know that there isn't a cloud in the sky tonight.

I freeze when I hear a loud grunt beside my head. Black combat boots pass right in front of my face. I don't move or breathe for the next twenty seconds until they continue on passed me followed by another pair of matching boots shifting a bit slower. From the front side of the house I hear a car start and know that it's Decks and the woman leaving. I want to get a look inside those boxes to see if this is a Ryske shipment, but if I hesitate another minute I may not get out of here alive. The two very large men enter the back door of the neighboring house before I leap up to my feet. I back away slowly, trying to stay in the shadows in case they turn around. Reaching the corner on the front of the house, I peek around the edging to see if the coast is clear.

There's a loud bang behind me and car headlights in front of me. The devil I do know behind me isn't an option so I roll the dice and rush toward the street and the oncoming vehicle. The multicolored vehicle screeches to a halt cutting off my pathway.

"Hey you," the driver yells holding his fist out and indicating with his thumb toward the backseat. "Hurry and get in miss."

"Marcus, what the hell are you doing out here?" I demand releasing a heavy breath and jerking open the back door. I slam the door shut and he floors it. "Get me back to the hotel fast and you can have another hundred bucks."

"Ja, I'll get you back before that other car."

"How?"

"Ma'am, you are definitely not a tourist and what you were looking for tells me that you are in some kind of trouble. Ja? I can't stand by and watch a pretty lady get hurt so I waited to see where you would end up. I should have known it would be where the expensive car was parked in front of dat abandoned shack." Marcus glances up in the rear view mirror at me and says, "You need to be smarter." What can I say to that? He is absolutely right so I nod back at him.

He races through back streets at a speed too dangerous for the narrow one lane roads, but true to his word Marcus gets me to the hotel fast and moments after I run through the front door I spot Decks and the woman pulling up. I watch him lean in toward her and see her hand wrap around the back of his head. As he pulls away I see her face and long red hair. She is an exquisitely beautiful woman. She doesn't look familiar to me and now that I've seen her face it's locked in my memory vault so I will never forget it. My room is on the third floor. I haven't run for the past few weeks due to my injuries, but Decks will be charging up them two at a time any second now. I push my body through the first flight of stairs before I hear heavy steps below. Fuck, my heart rate ratchets up because I know it's him closing in on me. On the second flight I pass a couple blocking the steps and split them apart to get to the next landing. They grumble something at me, but I don't give a damn if they were trying to tell me the place is on fire, I am not stopping until my backside is pressed against the inside side of my hotel room door.

I shove around the corner and pick up speed on the flat carpeted flooring on the third floor. My room is the third on the right. I reach into my bag and dig for my key just as I approach my door. Slipping it into the keyhole, I thrust the door open as soon as I hear the click. I only open it enough to squeeze my body through before I softly shut it again. I lean against the door and press my ass against it, trying to calm my breathing and pounding heart.

"Angel," Decks calls through the door followed by a couple of knocks.

Did he see me? I am not moving or breathing at this point. I hold tight to the doorknob and pray that he isn't going to try it. Even though we have separate rooms he insisted on holding onto my spare key and happily gave me his extra.

Another soft knock on the door precedes him calling my name again. After a few still moments I hear his footsteps moving away from my door. Another few seconds later his room door shuts and I collapse onto the floor. I drop my head into my good hand and release a string of cuss words that would make a sailor blush.

What did I freaking learn tonight on my hunt for Decks? Instead of meeting a man who I was expecting to be the infamous Dr A, he rendezvoused with a woman, possibly a lover with the way they were so intimate. Thinking about her telling him that she would have another shipment in the Gulf makes me wonder if this is who he is always meeting. Could Dr. A be a woman? Oh, it would really piss off the DEA to know that they've been looking for the wrong gender all of these years. I chuckle at the thought and pull myself up off the floor. I change out of my dirt covered clothes and wash up quickly. Something else niggles in the back of my head. There's one way to know for sure if she's the same person he's been meeting for the past month.

I slip out my hotel room and walk the five feet to the room next to mine. I knock twice and finally a sleepy-eyed Decks wearing nothing but a pair of boxers cracks open the door. It takes a couple of seconds, but he finally realizes it's me and he smiles wickedly.

"Hey, I came by your room earlier, but I guess you were asleep," he says opening his door for me to enter his room. I step inside and turn around to face him as he closes it and leans his back against it. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry to come over so late." I offer an apologetic smile.

His eyes grow dark and the lust blossoms like a spring flower eagerly reaching up toward the sun. He steps forward and takes me into his arms. I press my face against his neck and take in a lung full of his scent before wrapping my arms above his shoulders. He squeezes me tightly against him, dropping his face into my hair.

"Decks, will you hold me?" I ask as I step out of his embrace. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I really don't want to sleep alone tonight."

"Come on," he takes my hand leading me toward his bed, but I hesitate as he tries to pull me onto the mattress.

"I'm not ready to take our relationship to the next level," I whisper avoiding eye contact. "If this is going to be too difficult..." My words trail off and he just stares at me hard for several extended moments, his eyes searing a path along every inch of my exposed skin.

"It's fine," Decks mumbles softly pulling the covers back for me. With a bit more control he adds, "I'm not some lustful teenager Angel. I am here anyway you need me. I already told you that I will do anything for you." I nod and slip under the covers with him. He presses his lips to my hair and adds, "When you and I have sex it will be a mutual decision." I swallow hard at the idea of having sex with him, and force myself to roll over so I can face him, laying my head on his arm. Instantly the nasty, cheap perfume engulfs me confirming my suspicions. She is who he keeps meeting. _Interesting_.
Chapter Forty-Seven

"Are you enjoying yourself tonight?" Decks asks walking up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. He smiles against my neck before pressing his lips to the base of my hairline. I nod and turn around to face him, pulling away from his hold slightly.

"You throw an incredible party," I clear my throat hoping to sound happy and trying to look pleased with our contact. "I don't know when I have ever had more fun."

His entire little mafia accepted an invitation to celebrate with him at his mansion for the past year's success of his organization. Standing beside me, Natalie's eyes widen watching our exchange making me blush from head to feet. It's a look of disappointment more than shock. She knows what kind of player Decks is and seeing us this intimate must not be what she expected. I already explained to her, as well as him, that I'm not rushing into another relationship, but since the night I slept in his bed for the first time his physical affections have multiplied. He hasn't forced a kiss on me, for which I am grateful, but he has pecked my lips a few times, attempting to encourage me. Too bad for Decks, I won't be swayed.

Even if he wasn't evil, I wouldn't let him kiss me with all the confusion zigzagging around in my head over Blues. Yes, Blues is on the bad side of this freaking war on drugs too. I can't put my finger on it, but he just doesn't give me the same rough vibe that I get with every other drug dealer. I don't know exactly what his job is in their organization. But being Nelson's second makes him powerful and everyone respects the position. Although, he's probably done despicable things that would make a grown man break there's something that keeps drawing me to him, something beyond the physical attraction. Maybe it's because he was once a lawman and I'm sensing only the good while completely fooling myself into believing Kris' words when she tried to convince me that a man like him could change because of his love for me.

"How can you always look so stunning, Angel," Natalie asks, turning me out of Decks arms so she can appraise my attire.

"Oh, this," I offer playfully looking down at my black and silver maxi dress. "It's a must have on all the fashion runways."

Our conversation about clothing bores Decks enough that he releases me and walks toward some of his minions. I watch him only briefly and then fall victim to Natalie's tales of "kids do the most amazing things." Her eyes twinkle while telling me everything that Simone and Dean have been up to since I last saw them. I know what's coming. Her trip out of town isn't that far off and she will once again ask me to keep them.

"Angel," a weak voice murmurs from behind me. Spinning around to greet whoever it is, I gasp loudly when I barely recognize the woman struggling to stand upright in front of me.

Choking back my disgust with her appearance and a strong desire to cry, I find my voice, "Chelsea, what are you doing here? What happened?" I pull her to the side of the room and we sit on a small sofa positioned so that it faces away from the large group of people still continuing to celebrate. I glance up at Natalie who reads the plea in my eyes to give us a chance to talk privately and she nods before walking over to join her husband with the large group in the front of the room.

Weakly she shakes her head, focusing her eyes on the floor. "I tried," she whispers. I grip her hand tightly encouraging her to tell me why she's here. She lifts her dark and glossy eyes up, staring into mine before continuing, "I'm still with Mad." My gut clenches at her sad confession, but I remain quiet. "He wouldn't let me leave." She glances over her shoulder appearing to search the room. "I had to agree to stay with him before he would stop..." Emotions rising up in her throat halt her explanation, just in time too.

"What are you doing over here Chels?" Mad growls standing at the back of the sofa while glaring down at me. A shiver runs through my body from the intensity of his vile look. "Don't be disturbing Decks ol' lady. Come."

"She's not disturbing me," Using my sweet voice, I make up an excuse before he makes her leave. "We are discussing her fill in on her tat. Give me a few more minutes and Chelsea is all yours." He doesn't look happy about me speaking for her and I can see that the words are just barely contained behind his pinched tight lips.

He stares hard at Chelsea and says, "Five minutes." Still completely pissed off he turns from us, walking away slowly and I let out a heavy breath.

"What can I do?" I rush my words knowing that I don't have long. "I'll get you away from him if that's what you want."

She shakes her head feebly. "He'll come after me." She glances down, runs her hand over the bend in her elbow and taps on several track marks before looking back up at me. "He threatened to kill me if I ever leave him."

That got my attention. The vulgarity ripping through my mind is only seconds away from releasing. Not wanting to draw attention to us, I shake my head attempting to divert them from their direct path to my mouth while biting down hard on my tongue.

"If I can make arrangements to get you away from him and to a safe place would you do it? Would you leave this life behind?" I stare transfixed on her brown eyes watching for a sign of hope or appreciation to my offer.

"You can't save me, Angel," she whispers averting her eyes toward the direction Mad left. "But thank you."

"I will, Chelsea. You just have to tell me that it's what you want," I demand gripping her hand tightly in mine and pulling her attention back to me.

"I would leave all of it behind," she says meekly.

I smile cautiously at her, formulating a plan to save her. "Do you have a cell phone?" Keeping her eyes on me, she shakes her head. "Okay, then you'll come to the TatHouse Friday. Tell him you're getting the fill in and it will take four hours to finish it. If he refuses to leave you there alone I will come up with an alternative plan." Her eyes fill with tears and it tugs at my heart. "You have to trust me and please don't tell him anything. I promise that we'll get you out. And once it's done..."

"You'll never see my face again," she finishes before I can, knowing exactly what we are risking once that monster discovers that she's run from him.

"Now, go find him and act as normal as you can around the son of a bitch," I instruct rising from the sofa and leading her back to the throng of people continuing to party.

Chelsea spots Mad immediately, sitting angrily across the other side of the room away from everyone else. He is a social outcast by every definition. He doesn't make nice with anyone and he's used up every drug connection that he knows taking from them without repaying his debt. He actually believes he's entitled to a free ride just because he graces them with his presence. I can't think of any reason someone would want him around. After the way Decks reacted so crazily toward him when he attempted to insult me by calling me a bitch, I'm surprised to see him as an invited guest to his house.

Suddenly my mind begins adding together all the factors: Mad working with Decks, him supplying Chelsea with Ryske and the ghost of Dr. A along with his attorney's getting him released on bond from jail. Adding all of that to the trips that Decks has been making recently then I have my answer. Mad knows Dr. A and people need him for their Ryske connection. But what about the woman all over Decks back in the Bahamas? Is she just a shipment contact or is there more between her and Decks?

Finding myself still staring in Mad's direction, I spin around toward the other guests. I notice Natalie and Wise among the loud group and walk over. I make eye contact briefly with Blues, feeling my heart rate ratchet up and my girlie parts beg for his attention. I scold myself then force my attention away from the sex-god. Everyone is enjoying themselves and the light atmosphere on this side of the room helps settle my stress over leaving Chelsea with that monster. But no matter what sacrifices on my part it takes, come Friday she will be safely out of his repulsive clutches forever.
Chapter Forty-Eight

I text to Russ letting him know that Mad will be showing up at the TatHouse today with Chelsea. The more prepared he is for our possible encounters the better. He knows how much I can't stand the guy and would try to intercept him from making contact with me. My co-worker, Dylan is going to do the fill in on Chelsea's tattoo since I still have another three days before my cast could come off. With everything set into motion to extricate her from his evil control, I feel pretty confident. A couple of members of my unit who are currently not on assignment will pick her up the moment Mad leaves her alone. Getting him to go will be the hardest part. I just hope what I did to ensure that he leaves her here with me won't result in blowing my cover.

Chilly air blusters through the front entrance when Mad enters the store followed by a weaker version of the young woman I spoke with before. Clearly he's doped her up so she'll remain docile. I just hope she's coherent enough to follow my instructions.

"Hi Chelsea," I say leaning against the counter top located next to the front door. "Dylan will be doing your color since I'm still wearing this thing." I nod toward my arm. "Are you cool with that?" She glances sluggishly with glossy eyes from me to Mad waiting for his response to my question.

"Who the hell is Dylan?" Mad snarls looking toward the back of the shop where a burly, tattoo covered muscular body sits at his station preparing for his next client. Although I am usually happy that Dylan is intimidating as hell when some of the weirder clients come into the store, today isn't one of those days. Mad needs to feel comfortable being here, so that when he gets called away he'll be ok with leaving.

I point with my chin toward the back and Mad's eyes follow the direction, glancing back at Dylan again. He glares suspiciously when Dylan raises his fist acknowledging him. "If you want to wait there we should have her ready to go in about four hours." His attention swiftly turns back to me with a wild eyed stare.

"Four hours, that's fucking ridiculous," he snaps at full volume. His hands grips around Chelsea's upper arm, pulling her away from the counter. "We're not hanging around that damn long. Let's go."

"Seriously dude?" I laugh. "Do you have something better to do? Because Dylan cleared his schedule as a favor for me to finish what I started and it's shitty that you're overreacting to a little thing like waiting around four hours. You sound like a girl."

Hating me for questioning his manhood, he thrusts Chelsea toward me roughly and stalks over to the row of chairs by the front window slamming down, fuming mad, jaw twitching and eyes piercing through me. It takes every bit of strength I have not to laugh at his childish behavior. Instead, I gently take Chelsea by the arm and lead her back to Dylan's station. He begins explaining everything to her first and then when she acknowledges him he begins the work. About two hours in Mad is completely enraged, continuously grumbling about how slow the process is going while pacing the front area.

"Cigarette break?" I ask Chelsea. She smiles at me while nodding and we walk passed Mad out the front door. He follows us around the corner of the building where he watches us sit on the metal box against the brick wall.

"Why don't you finish that thing up another day?" he asks Chelsea standing in front of her arms crossed with a menacing glare defying her to dispute his order. He is a scrawny guy with skinny arms and long dirty blonde hair. He makes me think of a teenage boy who prefers wearing skinny jeans.

"Listen, I get that waiting around for one of these isn't the most fun in the world, but I'm not letting her leave here with a half-ass job. We have a reputation here and you're not going to screw it up. Chill the hell out." I cross my legs turning my attention toward Chelsea. "Have you ever tried menthol in that brand?" I ask as a distraction method so he'll get the idea that he's not going to get his way today.

"I hate that shit," she says blowing out a puff of smoke. "It burns the back of my throat and tastes like shit."

I laugh, "They all do that. I have a friend who loves the clove ones, but I can only take that smell for so long before I get a raging headache. Same thing happens with cigars. Ugh."

A loud obnoxious heavy metal ring tone screeches from Mad's front pant pocket interrupting our casual conversation. He snatches it out and peers at the screen before an odd grin slices across his ugly face revealing a dull silver tooth on the bottom.

"Yeah," he says answering the phone before offering me a salacious smile that forces a shiver of disgust down my spine. Turning away from us, he says forcefully, "I can't do it now." There's a long pause before he snaps the phone closed without as much as a goodbye to the person on the other end.

"I'm finished," Chelsea says, stomping on her cigarette butt after standing up.

"Cool," I reply avoiding eye contact with him and walking around toward the front of the building.

"We need to leave Chels," he growls from behind us.

I spin around and he gives me a fierce glare. "You are kidding right?" I cross my arms and stand confidently as he rakes his eyes over me.

"Decks must really enjoy your hot little ass. I wouldn't tolerate that mouth for one second unless it was sucking me off," he smirks showing off yellow teeth, and my look shifts to disgust without a possibility of hiding it both from his words and him physically, making him laugh deeply.

"Shut your mouth," I yell walking around the corner of the store pulling Chelsea along with me.

"I said we need to go," he demands storming through the door behind us.

"And I said she isn't leaving the shop with a half finished tat. So whatever is so important to you will just have to wait." His look is total infuriation making his body quiver with unleashed anger. I watch as he mentally debates his choices before I add, "I'll make sure Decks kicks your fucking ass if you ever speak to me that way again. I'm sure he wouldn't mind losing a customer who talks to his ol' lady that way." I glare confidently hearing a deep growl coming from him moments before he bellows at me.

"Fuck you bitch. He just told me to get all the shit I want before Minder leaves out for a new load. That doesn't sound like someone ready to cut me loose."

"Are you willing to risk it?"

His hands fist tightly in his crossed arms, his eyes narrow on me before snapping over to glare at Chelsea who has returned to her seat at Dylan's station again. Two customers walk into the shop and approach the counter standing beside him just as he is about to say something. From the look on his face it was going to be another insult. Instead of offering me another smartass retort, he stalks over to Dylan's station where he grabs a hand full of Chelsea hair, forcing her to turn and look up at him.

"I'll be back in thirty minutes." He drops his hands to her face, digging his fingers in her cheeks and causing her to wince. "If you fucking walk out of this shop before I return I'll make sure it's that last motherfucking trip you'll take standing upright."

He storms out the front door slamming it off the outside wall after piercing me with a defiant glare that I accept as a personal challenge. I walk back to check on Chelsea. She's wiping tears out of the corner of her eyes when Dylan steps out of the backroom.

"What happened, Angel?" he growls angrily. Looking down at the tiny girl whose spirit normally lights up the world around her, I see it almost completely snuffed out and replaced with an ingrained hurt. Today I will begin the process that will help erase the pain that piece of shit has inflicted on her by getting her out.

"We're cool Dyl and thanks for everything," I smile at him and offer Chelsea a hug. She wraps her tiny arms around my neck and squeezes weakly.

"I can't thank you enough, Angel." she whispers against my hair.

I pull away, looking down into her dark eyes. "Thank me by staying clean." She nods.

The two customers who were witness to Mad losing his temper walk back to where we are standing. "Hi Chelsea, I'm Detective O'Shields and this is my partner Detective Blake. When you're ready we are taking you to a safe house far away and that asshole will never touch you again."

Chelsea nods while wiping away another stray tear and whispers, "Thank you."

"Let's get you on the road to a new life," Detective O'Shields says.
Chapter Forty-Nine

When Mad Hatter returns to the shop an hour and a half later, Chelsea is long gone. He blows a fuse, calling me every name in the book and threatening to kick Dylan's ass. We stand strong watching him unravel right in front of our eyes, demanding we tell him where she went. There isn't a damn thing he can say, or do, that will ever gain him that information. After calmly explaining that she left walking home when he didn't return, I chuckle watching him blast out the door yelling back at us that he will return and we will pay. _She's safe and he can't hurt us_.

"Thanks Dyl," I smile at him while grabbing my purse. "If he shows back up just give me a shout." I have a feeling he will be back and we'll pay hell for this little arrangement.

"I'll deal with his stick ass and weak threats," he chuckles climbing onto the barstool behind the front counter and leaning over it with his arms crossed. "You have fun tonight and I'll see you Monday night."

"Yep," is all I say, walking out the door toward my brand new Jeep.

Yesterday, Decks relented on dragging me with him on his business trips, but insisted that I accept the vehicle as a gift from a _friend_. Even though I want to know who the woman was is that he keeps traveling across the oceans to meet more than anything, I am less thrilled about being with him all of the time. Sealing my decision to remain behind was when he told me that under no circumstance would I be allowed near Nelson. That pissed me off like swiping a red flag in front of a chained-down bull. Seeing that I can't get any closer to the king, I'll just strategize and take advantage of the access Decks allows, until I come up with a new brilliant plan to take all the bastards down.

I do owe Decks though. It was his call that got Mad away so that I could help Chelsea escape. All it took on my part was telling Decks that I was a little creeped out by the guy and wished there was a way to get him to leave me alone while I finished Chelsea's tattoo. He came up with the plan to give him some free weed, drawing him away from the shop. Since Mad has once again been cut off by practically every drug dealer in the county he couldn't resist. _Perfect_ plan executed perfectly. On this occasion, I'm content with the taboo word.

Tonight we're spending the evening at Holidays. I haven't been here since before my accident and I am eagerly anticipating a nice glass, or four, of Kentucky whiskey. I spot Natalie and Wise at our usual table and make my way over. Some of the guys are playing pool and fortunately for me Lourdes is nowhere in sight. Relaxing won't happen with her bitchy ass glaring at me all night. Unfortunately, I don't see Blues either and I'm completely bummed with his absence, which shocks the hell out of me. I tip back my first tumbler of liquid burn hoping to rush down the path that leads to my happy place.

"You made it," Natalie says smirking behind her Peachtini. "I wasn't sure if you would still come tonight after Decks strict orders."

I groan while remembering his last words to me were a plea for me to stay at his house until he returns. But I'm not his prisoner and refuse to let him treat me as one. He will just have to get over it, if he even hears about me being out. I doubt the guys would rat me out. I'm not really someone they concern themselves with.

"I don't give a damn tonight," I smirk before tossing back my drink, finishing it quickly and then scouting around the room for our waitress. "I'm going to the bar. Do you need another?" I ask Natalie who's staring at the front of the club watching the guys playing pool.

"Nope, I'm good," she smiles before glancing over to Wise. "Do you need another beer, Hon?"

"Yeah, grab me another Ultra," Wise grins draping an arm over the seat back behind his wife.

I edge around the dance area making my way to the large bar situated near the back beside the stage. The bartender winks at me handing me my usual without me having to ask.

"Thanks, can I get Wise an Ultra too please?" I smile and he nods reaching down into the cooler in front of him.

He pushes it my direction across the top of the bar. "Here you go, Angel."

"Hey," a deep accent rumbles directly behind me. I twist my head glancing over my shoulder and smile seeing a friendly big guy smirking back at me.

"Hello Shane," I turn around to face him and he sits down on the barstool beside me. "Did you lose?" I ask referring to the pool game.

"Yeah, I'm buying the winnings now," he says to me before catching the bartender's attention. "Two Bud Lights and two more shots of Jack for me. And put the little lady's drink on my tab." Shane flashes me the sweetest smile I've seen him give, hell it's the first smile I've ever seen on his face and it makes me giggle.

Before sipping the warm amber drink, I raise my glass up offering him a silent toast, but mumble to myself, "To hell with it all." Turning my glass up, I keep my eyes on Shane and notice that he's letting his hair grow out. With it shaved he looks downright scary, but now with the small growth his look is way less intimidating and very good looking. "I like you with hair," I smile glancing sideways at him.

He turns his body partially toward me, "So you're saying you don't like my shaved head?" He smirks while lifting a dark eyebrow at me, and I turn on my megawatt smile naturally at his playful tone while shaking my head.

"Not exactly, but you are less scary this way," I wink before turning my attention toward the bartender and lifting my glass, indicating I need another. "I'm guessing that was the look you were going for though."

"Good guess," he tips back one shot glass gulping it down and I watch his throat work down the dark liquid. He follows it quickly with his second shot of Jack before saying, "I'll see you later, Angel."

I take my new drink and Wise's beer over to the table. Sitting back in my seat next to Natalie, I notice after only a few moments that she is anxious tonight for some reason. She keeps picking up her drink, taking a quick sip and then placing it down repeatedly. In between drinks she taps her fingernails on the stem of the glass.

"Are you okay?" I ask clasping my hand around her wrist, stopping the irritating sound. She jerks her head up at me and smiles.

"Oh, yeah, I'm good," she slurs already feeling the effects of her fruity concoction. "I think I want to dance. Do you want to dance?"

"I could shake it a little," I wiggle in my seat to the rhythm of the music crooning from the jukebox before sliding out and pulling her along behind me.

We take over the dance floor with some silly dancing and in a few minutes the stress that was marring her face is just a memory. Her eyes sparkle with joy as we separately dance around some of the couples during a slow song. They aren't bothered in the least with our playfulness. Finally, feeling the effects of the alcohol, I lean in close to her ear and let her know that I need a break. She nods her head and we walk toward the women's restroom. Passing our table I spot someone in my peripheral approaching. I turn to see who it is and stumble over my steps causing Natalie to slam into me from behind. Wrapping her hands around my upper arms, she pushes me along, guiding me toward the hallway where the ladies room is located. I twist my head around as I push open the door and spot Juan, the leader of the Hijos de la Sangre sliding into the booth beside Wise.

After recognizing his face from the pictures Russ provided recently, my heart rate instantly spikes and a feeling of impending doom sprints through my veins, combining with the three glasses of alcohol. Seeing the leader of one of the most notorious cartels in the southeast making a personal visit is never good. Notifying Russ or Captain Reebals would be the smart thing to do right about now. Hopefully they can get a uniformed officer to make a casual appearance, preventing something bad from going down. _Dammit_. I cuss under my breath when I remember that I left my cell phone in my purse sitting at the table. Remembering my reason for leaving the dance floor, I rush to finish and return to our table as fast as humanly possible. Natalie is already washing her hands when I join her at the sink.

She pulls open the door, intending to leave me behind and I yell, "Wait for me." She nods but steps out into the hallway. Now the panic escalates as I think about her walking back to the table without me. I toss the paper towel in the trash, and jerk open the door, not finding her waiting like she agreed. Stepping out of the bathroom and rushing down the dark corridor leading back to the bar area, I'm jerked backwards after only a couple of steps when a large arm wraps around my waist. I grip the arm and twist my head around finding the deep sapphire eyes of Blues sparkling down at me.
Chapter Fifty

"Oh, you startled me," I yelp leaning away from his embrace while he struggles holding my back against his chest tightly. In the dark lighting of the hallway I can see his heated gaze, but I can also feel the blazing path his eyes take as he looks down the front of my body. He places a hand at the side of my neck dragging it down slowly over the center of my bare chest down to the top of my shirt before retracing the path with the callous pads of his fingers. With his other arm still holding me around the waist he places his hand just above my lower girlie bits, drawing me against him. His delicious man scent envelops me, intoxicating my mind and numbing my limbs. My arms hang loosely at my sides while my head lobs back against his shoulder. Blues takes advantage of my weakened state, plunging his face into my hair and placing his hot mouth against my ear.

"Doll," his voice vibrates against my skin causing me to shiver. He feels my reaction and chuckles deeply while placing several open-mouth kisses along my neck and down my collar bone. "Come home with me. I have a place close by and my car is parked right out back."

His offer jolts my awakened libido up making me melt instantly. He presses his body against me roughly, forcing me against the wall. He moves both hands to the sides of my breast, gripping them firmly while stroking his long fingers over my hard nipples. I moan from the amazing sensation and push my hips into him instinctively. He reciprocates with grinding his rock hard erection against my backside. I begin panting ferociously with need instantly.

"What do you say Love? We can leave your things here with your friends and return later for them." The lustful desires of my body and disorder of my mind clears when he mentions my friends and I remember my need to rush out of the bathroom earlier.

"No," I whisper hoarsely after snapping my eyes open and forcing his hands off of my body.

He grabs me again preventing me from escaping, "Wait –" Before he can make another plea for me to leave with him a piercing sound interrupts him. "What the fuck?" One loud shot echoes through the bar followed by multiple shrilled screams. Fear grips me and instincts kick in, but Blues yanks me backwards away from the action.

"No," I scream. "I need to go in there." The need to find out what happened consumes me and I forget my cover briefly. I push away from him, but he grabs me roughly, lifting my body off the ground while rushing backward.

"Hell no, you are not going in there, Angel," he yells forcing open the back door and dragging me out away from the deadly scene.

Once we're in the back parking lot he drops me onto my feet, but doesn't let me go completely. I glance back over my shoulder toward the exit expecting to see the shooter following, but no one comes out before we reach his car. As much as the cop in me wants to find out what happened in the bar I'm aware enough to remember that Angel wouldn't run toward the sound of gunfire, unlike Sam Walker who is drawn to it with an urgency to help. Blues pulls open the passenger side door and deposits me into the seat. He climbs in quickly starting the car and pressing down on the gas pedal hard.

"What was that Blues?" I ask innocently.

Racing down the nearly empty highway, he glances over at me sadly and holds my stare for a couple of ominous moments before facing forward again. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out." He grips the steering wheel with one hand and shoves his other into his inside coat pocket. He presses a couple of buttons on his cell before placing it against his head. "Fuck," he growls under his breath after listening to it ring repeatedly, before going to voicemail. He drops the phone into his lap and turns the steering wheel sharp right, pulling into an underground parking garage. He squeals the tires around several corners before pulling into a space marked with his name on it next to the elevator.

We hop out at the same time and he meets me at the back of the car, taking my hand into his. The doors of the elevator close, sealing us inside away from all the bad and my breathing begins to regulate. Blues squeezes my hands once as the doors open on the top floor. He turns right toward a set of double doors marked 'Penthouse' and pushes his key into the lock. He forces a hand through his hair proving that, like me, his anxiety hasn't settled even being away from whatever went down. We walk into a large open living space decorated with deep rich colors mixed with modern furnishings. Blues releases my hand and walks over to a small bar beside a set of French doors that lead out to a balcony. I notice for the first time that my hands are trembling so I pull them in front of me wrapping my right hand over the cast on my left. He takes out two sniffers, filling them with dark liquor before walking back over to me.

"Here, this will help," he hands me one of the glasses and when I take it he reaches for my elbow. Clutching me tenderly he escorts me to the large plush sofa and sits before tugging me down beside him. "I'm going to try to call Decks again to find out what he knows about the gunfire. He didn't answer the first time," he states shucking off his coat before pulling out his phone.

I nod agreeably but then his words sink in. "Decks is out of town again," I remind him knowing he's still away on his recent trip to the Gulf.

"Where did he go?" he asks turning toward me with his finger poised over the send button.

"I'm not certain," I hesitate not wanting him to know that I gleaned my information from eavesdropping on Decks conversation with the woman in Nassau. "I think this trip was to the Gulf coast."

He stares at me for a moment, his eyes are saturated with an extreme amount of curiosity and they hold me with rapt attention. He places his cell down on the coffee table in front of us and then leans back against the sofa.

"You said he's out of town again. Where has he gone, and when did he start going on these trips?"

A heavy feeling of foreboding sinks into my gut as I watch his eyes darken awaiting my response. Curiosity also demands that I find out what he knows as well.

"Well, you know about the east coast trip back before Christmas, right?" He offers a curt nod, waiting for me to continue. "After my accident..." I pause remembering Blues telling me how frightened he was after finding out about me being in the hospital. "He refused to let me go out alone and didn't want me staying by myself at the house while he traveled so I accompanied him to Nassau last week." His eyes penetrate into mine and I shift feeling uncomfortable under his harsh stare. He rises from the sofa, crosses the room and paces in front of the balcony, contemplating my answer for several minutes.

I remain silent and in control externally, but internally I'm freaking out. Unable to wait him out another moment, I stand quickly and rush my question, "Can you call Wise or Murph? They were at the club and I really want to know if everyone is okay." He stops walking and lifts his eyes up to look at me. The level of sadness I see in his features is overwhelming and it's clear that he knows that whatever happened tonight directly involves them.

Suddenly the reality grips me like a noose around the neck, choking my airway and accelerating my fear. This was retaliation and one of the members of the X'kapz was targeted tonight in a public place to make a serious statement. Feeling lightheaded, I sway and reach with a hand to brace my fall back down on the sofa. Blues rushes over easing me down and placing a hand on my shoulder gently pushing me against the back of the sofa.

"Relax, Doll. I'll call them," he promises, tenderly stroking his fingers lightly over my forehead, pushing a few long strands away. "I'm going to find out what happened, but I want you to stay right here, okay?" Closing my eyes to ride out the flash of nausea that begins swirling in my stomach, I nod my head agreeably. I hear him push buttons on his phone followed by a rushed garbled hello on the other end. "It's Blues, tell me what happened." Still trying to calm down, I keep my eyes closed, and through my efforts I realize my good hand is fisted tightly so I stretch out my fingers and place it on top of my thigh. After a full minute of silently listening, Blues stands abruptly, jostling me. I open my eyes to see heavy pain etched on his face just before he turns away and buries it into his hand and whispers, "Damn."
Chapter Fifty-One

Blues walks over, resuming his spot on the sofa beside me, and he draws my hand into his. His dark eyes, revealing pain and fear, and something else I can't comprehend, glance up at mine before lowering to our linked fingers. He sighs heavily, a sound I never thought a man this powerful was capable of, but every day he continues to destroy all of the typical stereotypes I've held in this gutter world. I know what he's about to tell is going to be bad. It's always bad. There is no good in the drug world, those who believe there is, are sorely mistaken. When you let your guard down for just a moment the cruelty of it reaches up like a beast from the pits of hell and rips you apart before dragging you back down with it.

"Doll, it's bad," Blues starts hesitantly keeping his eyes on our connection while methodically rubbing his thumb over mine. Consumed with an overwhelming need to soothe his heartache, I lift my hand to touch his face. I don't understanding why I give a damn about his pain. He is part of the problem, no, he _is_ the problem and now someone he supposedly cares for is hurt or most likely dead. I pause before making contact, drop my hand, while removing my other from his grasp, and clasp them together the best I can.

"Tell me," I beg knowing whoever it is and whatever the outcome I will be saddened tremendously by the loss, but prepared for it just as equally.

He nods his head just slightly before lifting his eyes up to mine. This unique shade of blue is an eye color that I've never seen before and they are swimming in unshed tears, making me believe again that this cruel monster could actual give a damn.

"It's Wise," he whispers softly, his voice thick with emotion. "He's dead." He clears his throat and I gasp loudly in the quiet room. "I'm so sorry." I shake my head disbelieving him, but knowing that he's telling me the truth.

I shut my eyes briefly feeling the burn of tears and clutch my right hand to my chest, forcing the hurt to stave. The pain I feel is not for a drug dealer, but for a person.

"I need air," I whisper hoarsely. I stand immediately and rush over to the balcony. I need away from... _him_.

_Oh god, Natalie_. Tears streak down my cheeks when I remember her going back to the table just minutes before. She watched her husband die. They were supposed to go on their stupid, freaking trip next weekend. Even though I know this is real, and it happens every day, I still can't believe this is happening. I feel raw. My heart aches for Wise's two kids the real victims in all of this bullshit. A young son will never learn from his father about how to be a real man, how to be a good man, or how to treat a woman. A little girl was robbed of dealing with an overprotective 'boyfriend repellent,' the joy and excitement of having her daddy walk her down the aisle, and seeing the pride on his face when he becomes a grandfather. This is so wrong and so unnecessary.

Pulling myself together, I am grateful that Blues gave me the space I need to process some of what I'm feeling. Slowly dragging myself out of my state of unawareness, I turn my head, glancing back inside the lavish penthouse suite and realize Wise died for this place. He died for the houses Nelson, Blues and Decks live in, the cars they drive - _the car I drive_ \- and he died in a battle that rages on, currently searching out its next victim.

"I know there is nothing that I can say that will help," Blues offers softly, poking his head out of one of the French doors, "but I want you to know that I'm here and I will do anything I can for you."

I glare at him feeling the bitterness rising in my throat, threatening to expose my disloyalty to him. This person deserves my hostility and hatred, but I beat it back into the depths of my soul where I can remember what he really is and why I'm here in the first place. When it comes to Blues, I lost my focus. I'm so damn glad that I'm reminded now of the real monster that he is before I did something fucked up like giving him my heart. He's not worthy of it.

"No, I just need air," I say sharply. The chill of the night blisters my checks and my finger are stiffening from the below freezing temperatures. I release a heavy sigh and in the corner of my eye I see him take a step forward. He pauses when I glance up. At the moment there is no way that I can contain the disgust I feel looking at the fucking catalyst, and from the way he flinches away my hatred is written all over my face.

"Angel," his tone is stern. "I need to make some phone calls. I should only be a few minutes," he says stepping back in and holding open the door. "Please come inside out of the cold." The last request is a kinder tone, but still more than I can bear to hear coming out of his mouth. Hoping to avoid more of the same, I walk in and take my position back on the couch feeling the warmth of the room beginning to physically soothe me, but the emotional part will need time.

Walking out of the room, he speaks into his cell phone, "Hey, it's Blues. Get a crew down to Holiday's..." his voice trails off, but I know he's sending in a cleanup crew. Although this will be deemed a professional hit and there won't be any shred of evidence left at the crime scene, Blues plays it smart by calling in a sweeper team. They will probably stroll through the area dressed in police uniforms actually working the case and their betrayal will go undetected.

"I've got to end this now," I whisper to the empty room. "This cannot happen to another family, on either side of this war."

I slip my shoes off my feet and pull them under me as I sit back against the sofa. Closing my eyes, I center my mind away from the events of tonight. I focus on my family, my best friend, my career and I wait for joy to fill my heart again. In the time that it took me to infiltrate this group hoping to gain their trust, I began to feel too much for them. Going into the job I knew that I would be putting most of them in jail. Why is this case different from all the others? The players are different, but it's the same game with the odds always stacked against me, and just like every time before, I refuse to fold. I'll get through this one way or another, force their hand and then I will bring down the house.

Sometime later I find that I've stretched out and had fallen asleep. Apparently Blues returned, discovered me sleeping and covered me with a warm blanket. Pale light from the early morning sun streaks through the blinds on the window above me. After a long stretch, I pull myself up and walk down the hallway in search of a bathroom.

"This is going to lead right back to him...," I hear Blues speaking to someone so I pause at the closed door that I assume is the guest bathroom and continue listening. "Absolutely not. I can't wait..." his voice trails off. I tiptoe down the hallway a little further toward the direction his voice is coming from. I don't hear anyone responding to him so he must be on the phone. "I expect you to do your job!" His loud response startles me making me jump and I freeze in place hoping that he didn't hear me. "We may have lost our only chance....I'll get him and you get the Ryske detail straight... yeah, I'll be in touch."

Hearing the end of Blues' conversation, I back away from his office slowly while hoping to make it to the bathroom door before I'm discovered. The creak of his chair signals that he's coming. Keeping my eyes locked straight ahead, I stretch my hand out behind me, aimlessly searching for the doorknob. I find it and twist just as he steps into the hall with me. His hair is tussled and he's wearing the same clothes from last night. When he lifts his eyes up to meet mine they are dull with dark circles underneath them. He halts his steps, slides his hands into his front pockets and his body visibly slumps. He holds me in a hypnotic state for what feels like hours just standing there his eyes pleading for me to come to him. My heart slams hard against my chest seeing his pure unadulterated pain.

_Don't do this. He isn't just some guy. Keep your head straight._ I continue fighting the desire to comfort him until he rips his gaze away and steps into the room across from his office. Releasing a heavy, but silent breath, I wrench my hand away from the doorknob and turn around, rushing back to the living room. I grab up my shoes, not bothering to slip them on and hurry out the front door, never looking back.
Chapter Fifty-Two

After running away from Blues, I catch a cab about two blocks from his penthouse. Seeing the pain or guilt etched in his face my feelings are confusing the hell out of me and I can't deal with it. Expecting someone is watching me I ask the taxi driver to take me out of the city and then circle back taking the scenic route just to make sure we aren't being followed. Finally feeling confident that I'm not on anyone's radar, I give him my home address in Canton. Since I left my things and Jeep at the club I need money so going home is the only option. Plus, I really need Kris. She can help me deal with my irrational emotions.

Unfortunately as we approach the house I notice immediately that she isn't home again. Once inside the house, I grab a backpack filling it with a few days worth of clothes. Then I walk down the hallway to my home office in search of another disposable phone. I leave a note on Kris' bed with the new number before calling another taxi service to pick me up. Spotting a vacancy sign at a sleazy motel about twenty minutes south of the city, I get him to drop me off. After getting settled I decide that it might be a good idea to check in and my first call is to the Captain.

"Thank the lord," Captain Reebals shouts frantically. "You can't just vanish after a shooting, Sam. I was actually considering risking the entire case by notifying the press about your disappearance. Fortunately, I reasoned your rebellious attitude and need to disconnect after the horrible events at Holidays before I screwed our two year investigation. "

"It was stupid on my part not to call sooner," I sigh, "but I'm safe and far away from the scene."

He sighs, "When you're ready we need to talk about what went down at Holidays." I swallow hard and offer a whispered yes.

"I'm taking a few days off." Luckily he doesn't press for information, ending our call after that and I make my second call.

Reconnecting with someone who really loves me always helps me sort through all the bullshit and can see things objectively. My Gran knows I can't discuss details of my case so she happily fills the conversation with talk of all things Willow. I find peace listening to her melodic voice recounting her weekly town council meeting, relishing in the success of her newest cheesecake creation and crowing about the upcoming Spring gala that she hosts at the Renaissance Castle every year. For a brief moment her jubilant excitement allows me to forget the hellish world I live in. After ending my therapeutic call with Gran I put my phone away. Knowing that I would be speaking with Russ next I feel like a break is necessary to deal with his dramatics. I fall into a restless sleep for the next three hours.

"I'm freaking out here, Sam," Russ growls low. His voice filled with anger and fear. He sighs, annoyed with waiting for my response.

"Motel 7 off of Jefferson," I tell him my location and hear another heavy sigh, this one is definitely relief.

"Okay, okay. That's good. Do I need to send someone to you?"

"No, I have everything taken care of for now."

"Sam, I got a call about an hour ago," his voice lowers to a sad tone causing me to become jittery.

"Tell me," I whisper. My eyes transfix on the Bible lying on the nightstand beside my bed.

"Jude Kingsley was an undercover homicide investigator." I gasp feeling a deep wrenching pain in my chest. My instincts were right about Wise. Russ continues, "He was working with the feds in an ongoing investigation involving the deaths of three former X'kapz members and their wives. Information that was withheld from our department until today indicates that _someone_ orchestrated the murders of the top officers who had recently resigned their post. The members included William and Yvonne Kennedy, Nelson's brother and sister-in-law and Decks' parents; Oscar and Amelia Sloane, Nelson's best friend of forty years and Blues' parents; and the last was Owen Watson, Nelson's current wife, Camille's first husband. All five perished in a plane crash ten years ago on a vacation trip. Apparently new information surfaced that led them to assign an undercover to the case."

"Jesus," I whisper pressing the heel of my palm against my forehead. I can feel the beginning of a migraine after that discovery. "I remember hearing about that incident."

"Yeah, when some of the wealthiest families in the state die it makes national news. It's just strange that it took so long for them to push the investigation."

Several silent moments linger between us until I finally ask, "How's Kris?"

"She's good, actually better than good," I hear his smile through the phone, "She got the job."

"In the emergency room?" I'm so proud for my girl.

"Yeah, she started last week. She told me that she tried to call you. I didn't want to worry her unnecessarily so I didn't tell her about your accident. She said for you to call her when you returned back from your mini vacation in the Bahamas."

Damn, I should have returned all of her calls. I sigh hating all of the lies and feeling so disconnected from my real life. "I'm staying here for a few days, maybe a week. I need to clear my head and being around... _them_ won't help me do that. I'll call you in a few days."

"Sam, I," Russ starts, but hesitates and releases a heavy breath before simply saying, "Be careful."

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I toss my phone behind me onto the other side. I run my fingers under the top of the covers and pull them back before slipping under the cool sheets, searching for some semblance of comfort in the silent motel room. I command my mind to slow while I stare up at the dotted ceiling.

It isn't the integrity of my sanity that has me escaping reality, it's the vulnerability of my damn betraying heart that urges me to deal with these reckless emotions. I'm in a wild vortex swirling between hurt and hatred bordering on revenge with my target being the heads of the opposing cartels. It's an illogical plan and that's why I didn't bring one of my guns with me today.

Part of me feels bad about not going to Natalie immediately after hearing about her husband's death while another part begs to rush straight back into Blues' arms. Right now I can't do either. I must process some of this before I can attempt making contact with anyone in their group. Whatever happens from this point on I need to disassociate myself personally from every one of them. My job comes first and I'll be damned if I'll get caught up in their heartache just to get sucker punched when someone else I care about dies. I do care and that's my damn problem.

I've never connected with the people during an assignment like the way I have them. And I've never had sex with anyone involved in the case. What makes this job so different? How could I let myself become so deeply involved? _How can I fall for Blues_? Reflecting back on the past year I can see where it all started unraveling my hard shell. I shouldn't have interfered with Momma's living arrangements. If I would have just kept my damn nose out of it I wouldn't be in this predicament.

Needing something to distract my wayward thoughts, I switch on the television and flip through the short list of cable channels repetitively until a local news story catches my attention. It's actually the face in the picture plastered on the screen that has me sitting up and gripping the hell out of the remote control. _Wise happy face smiles back at me._ The details of the news report are vague and the only thing that sticks out as important to me is the funeral arrangements scheduled in Baltimore, two days from now. My chest feels heavy and my mind screams at me to skip it.

I glance out the window watching the highway traffic rushing passed while silently cursing the occupant's naivety to the bleakness of my reality. Living an assumed life for the past few years has never affected me like the life I live as Angel Johnson. I have to find a way out of this detail soon. With the new information about the reopened homicide investigation I think I have an angle to possibly reach Decks. After recalling the conversation I overheard between him and Nelson before our trip to the Bahamas I'm beginning to believe that he has knowledge of his uncle's involvement. I need to get to Decks now while he's vulnerable. With that decision made it looks like I will be attending or at the very least observing the ceremony from afar.

Facing Natalie will not be easy. She lost her soul mate, a good father to her children and, as it turns out, an upstanding citizen in the community. Wise will be honored with a traditional law enforcement burial that will include twenty-four hour honor guard remaining at his casket until he is returned to the earth. Watching her little children say goodbye to their daddy will surely be the most heartbreaking scene I've ever witnessed.

I switch off the television and using my cell I call the cab company and the airport, booking my flight out of town. First, I'll make a quick stop by my house. I'll need something appropriate to wear to say goodbye to a fellow officer.
Chapter Fifty-Three

The drizzling rain on this cold January day emphasizes the sorrow of the mood. I step out of the taxi with my small travel bag and cinch the wide belt around my black trench coat before lifting the umbrella over me. The century-old Catholic Church, ten miles north of Baltimore located in Mt Washington, with its dark stones covered by dark, thick moss gives off an ominous vibe as I approach and climb the front steps. My throat begins closing when I spot the hundreds of uniformed officers standing guard, preparing for retaliation from the X'kapz, and simply milling around in the entrance way. Everyone is speaking softly and looking reflective as well as sad.

Dressing in all black and wearing a small veiled hat allows me to blend in with the other mourners. I can only pray that no one recognizes me, blowing my cover to kingdom come. I'm not worried that anyone from the crew will show their faces at a police officer's funeral, but Natalie or her little ones may spot me. Inside the large cathedral I slip around the perimeter and settle into a pew at the back of the room away from prying eyes. Within a few minutes the soft music grows louder and everyone takes a seat further cloaking me.

The priest opens the service with the Lord's Prayer. It's at this time, with my head tilted down, that my silent tears slip over my cheeks and drip off my chin. With my lacy handkerchief I dab them away, but all too soon the voices of Jude's friends and family begin honoring his memory and telling stories of his life. I can't hold back another second, I am overwrought with grief. Keeping my head down my shoulders begin to shake from the muted sobbing that I'm barely containing. Alone, I sit and pray while the religious service moves along and proceeds toward the more formal police officer service.

Barely aware of my surroundings, I feel a slight movement along the edge of the railing behind me followed by a soft hand draping on my shoulder. Astonished by the comfort this kind gesture brings, my tears come faster and my breathing becomes ragged. The warm hand moves down my arm and grips before pulling me sideways. My face is drawn against a hard shoulder and another hand tenderly holds my other cheek while a soft thumb caresses it. A whispered shushing sound floats along the tip of my ear followed by lips pressing into my hairline. The compassionate embrace quickly becomes a soothing balm to my heartbreak.

Slowly, I dab away the wetness left behind from my crying. Suddenly the awkwardness of knowing a stranger is holding me snaps me out of my sorrow and I begin to pull away.

"Thank you," I sniff lifting my eyes up and seeing the person who's comforting me.

The hand on my cheek slides down to my neck and under my chin tilting my head back before he says, "I'm here. Let me help you."

My heart trips a few beats before realization sinks into my mind. I reach up clasping my hand around the hand that is affectionately pushing the hair away from my face and try to draw it away. "No," I whisper with absolutely no conviction in my voice.

He draws me against his chest and holds me tighter, "I'm not letting you go again, Doll." Blues holds me this way through the remainder of the service and I let him. Being in his arms feels like the most natural thing and even though I don't want it Blues comforts me more in this demanding embrace than anyone ever has before. How can he show his face here? Doesn't he care that this family wouldn't want him or anyone from the damn gang that is directly responsible for killing Wise at his funeral?

Thirty minutes later I along with the other couple of hundred guests follow the family out of the chapel. I watch Natalie being escorted toward a blacked out limousine. A large man who looks like he could be Wise's identical twin carries Simone while Dean shuffles his feet behind them. My heart squeezes in agony for this sweet little family. A strange feeling crushes over me as the tears slip down my face. I'll never see them again. They will mostly likely stay here in Baltimore with their families. Part of me is happy about them being away from Georgia, leaving behind all the bullshit and finding a way to live without him. Before ducking into the backseat Natalie's head lifts up, facing toward the church, but she doesn't acknowledge me. With all of the people congregating outside the doors she wouldn't be able to pick me out of this large crowd. From the top step I watch as six large men silently load Wise's casket into the hearse taking him to his final resting place. _Rest easy brother, we'll take it from here_. A sob escapes passed my lips and I suck in a ragged breath.

Blues never leaves my side. He keeps me tucked under one arm while holding an umbrella over us. "Do you want to go to the graveside service?" he asks looking down at me.

I look back at the long line of cars falling in the procession and pulling away before I shake my head, "No."

"Where are you staying?"

"I," my voice catches, "I was getting a motel after the service."

Pulling my attention away from the single line of vehicles and tipping my chin upward, he insists, "No, Love, you're staying with me." The determination set in his eyes tells me that he refuses to let me argue. My shoulders sag in defeat and I nod agreeably.

He escorts me out to a black limousine and instructs the driver to take us to his hotel. After sliding in he draws me into his lap, pressing my head against his chest. He keeps one hand clutched tightly around my back while the other strokes over my hip. We don't speak during the ride to the hotel. Lacing our fingers together, he then takes my bag, and guides me through the lobby and up the elevator. We enter the grand accommodations of the Presidential suite and he walks me back to the large master bedroom where he places my bag at the foot of the bed. Then taking extra care with my arm, he removes my wet trench coat.

Blues lifts his hands to my face, placing warm palms against the sides of my head before pressing his lips to my forehead. He wraps his arms around my shoulders holding me tightly against him. I bury my face into his chest breathing in his warmth and then slide my hands under his suit coat snaking them around his waist.

"I was so scared," he starts so softly that I almost didn't hear him. "When I came out of the bedroom and couldn't find you in my apartment...," he whispers over my head while squeezing me harder. "Don't...." his voice thick with emotion cracks, "Please don't do that again." I nod my head against his chest and he sighs heavily. Why am I making this promise to him? Why does it sound like he really cares for me?

He loosens his grip around me, sliding a hand down my arm and intertwining our hands, "The bathroom is behind you," he points, "I'll wait in the living room while you change." I stare into the depths of his heavenly blue eyes and begin to feel like I could easily get lost in them. My heart leaps seeing some strong emotion veil over them moments before he lowers his lips to mine. He brushes against them softly before placing a sweet kiss on the corner. "Get changed," he mumbles with his lips lingering on mine.

After he walks out of the room, I glance down at my bag tilted on its side at my feet. I know that I have a choice and the logical part hurting the most warns me to leave, but there is another part of me that desperately wants to be here with him. I change out of my black dress and slip into a fitted yellow tee-shirt and soft white shorts. Besides a couple more tees, some blue jeans and a pair of cargo pants these are the only comfortable clothes that I packed.

Walking into the large open living room, I see Blues standing by the glass wall overlooking the river below. His reflection reveals a stone mask while his fists clutch tightly against his thighs, but his posture is completely defeated with his shoulders slouching. He spots my reflection and turns around. Tentatively, I cross the space between us stopping a few feet away.

"I ordered some lunch," he tells me running a hand through his hair while his eyes slowly take in my appearance. "I hope you're hungry." He smirks uncomfortably when his gaze finally connects with mine.

"Blues," I take a small step forward, gliding my hand over the back of the sofa angled perpendicular in the center of the room. "I want to thank you again...for earlier." His eyebrows pinch together and he drops his hand to his side, fisting them again. Unable to read his expression and body language, I shift around and prop my backside against the sofa, trying to relax so that maybe he'll relax too. "What happened really, um," I tuck my arms around my stomach tightly, "it was fucked up...and I needed to get away..."

"Where did you go?" he asks urgently, and I glance over at him, "Because I looked for you at Decks'. He came home yesterday and said he hadn't seen or talked with you." He continues to stare, watching me closely–almost too closely.

Pulling my attention away from him, I focus on the large bowl of limes sitting on the table in the dining area. Going back to my training, the words of my superior echoes in my mind, _Lie if you must, but if the truth can save your ass, go with that_. "I wasn't ready to go back to Decks' place so I rented a cheap motel." He stays silent and I feel compelled to continue with my explanation. "I just needed to deal with it all...on my own."

He steps away from the window, crosses the room and walks into the kitchen. I watch him stop and lean his hip against the counter staying there with his back to me for several minutes. He folds his arms over his chest appearing tense all over. I don't understand what's going on with him and the silent treatment begins to make me feel uncomfortable. He could be testing me, gauging my reactions to root out more undercover cops. Three rapid knocks on the door breaks the building tension in the quiet room. Without looking at me, Blues spins around and opens the door for the courier to bring in our food.

"Come on. We'll talk later," he glances back at me before walking toward the dining table.
Chapter Fifty-Four

During lunch the weather turns worse. The early afternoon sky is darker and releasing heavy rain. The silence between us is palpable and Blues doesn't make eye contact with me once while we're eating. After we finish lunch, he starts a fire that instantly knocks the chill out the air. Still sitting in the dining room, I watch as he leaves the room only to return a few moments later carrying a thick blanket. Placing it on the sofa as he passes it, he continues walking toward me and then stretches out a hand. I glance from it up to his eyes. They are sad, but I see something else lying in the swirling sapphire that I can't understand. Blues look vulnerable, but that can't be right. He's too vile for that emotion. I accept his hand and he leads us over to the sofa. Sitting down, he reaches back for the blanket and unfolds it.

"Sit with me," he requests stretching the cover over his legs. I do as he asks, but keep a safe distance between us. Being so close to him will fuck with my reserve and if I'm going to get through the next twenty-four hours I need to keep my head clear. "I won't bite," he smiles but his eyes are still sad.

"I don't believe you," I proclaim pulling on the edge of the blanket to cover myself. He shrugs and his smile grows wickedly.

"You're smart not to."

"What's going on, Blues?" I ask clearly unable to process what's happening between us in addition to all the hell that is going on outside of this hotel room. His smile drops instantly and he turns away from me. "Why are you doing this?"

He crosses his arms defensively but his shoulders droop in defeat, "I hate what happened," his voice cracks slightly, "just as much as you do. Senseless killing makes me sick." He turns his head my way again, but doesn't look at me. Instead he focuses on the hallway behind me. "I think of Wise as a friend too Doll and I grieve with Natalie over the loss of a good man."

"Did you know he was a cop?" I ask softly, completely curious since he once told me that cops weren't an issue for him. Without looking at me, he shakes his head, and it doesn't feel like the truth. Once he practically confessed to having cops on his payroll. The overwhelming desire to release my inner detective is strong, but this isn't the time or place for it so I bite down hard on my lip to suppress it.

After a few more silent moments, he slides his eyes to meet mine, "Could I ask you a question off the subject?" Still biting my lip, I nod yes. "What did Decks tell you about his recent business out of town?"

"Nothing," I lie, "He wouldn't tell me anything about his business," He nods, but looks at me like he knows I'm lying or maybe it's my conscience telling me to trust him. _I don't trust anyone._

"Angel, do you know what's caused his recent change in behavior?" I sigh and nod my head. He scoots close to me, draping an arm behind me and turning my face toward him. "I need to know." His eyes are serious but not angry.

"He's using," I say meekly still staring into his eyes. "He got really sick one night and told me that he was experimenting with Ryske."

Holding my gaze, he nods. "That could be it." He opens his mouth to say something else, but shuts it again quickly.

"I think it may be making him rage too," I offer before I realize what I've done.

"What do you mean?" his eyebrows draw in tightly creating deep crevasses. Something deep inside me desperately wants to reach up and soothe the lines away, but I keep my hands lying on my lap. "Has he hurt you?" He's really angry now.

"No," I shake my head. "I don't think he would hurt me." I tell him, but the pulsing blue vein in his forehead tells me that he isn't satisfied so I add, "I think, maybe it just irrational and misplaced jealousy more than anything."

"How many times has he lost his temper with you?"

"Not many."

From the look in his eyes, he isn't buying my fib, "Angel, tell me how many."

"It really isn't that big of a deal, Blues."

"Let me decide that," he slips a hand over mine offering more tenderness still expecting me to answer him, but I don't want his comfort and rage begins to build in me.

"No," I snap and then growl, "What happens between me and Decks is none of your business."

He releases my hand and tosses the blanket off standing quickly. He crosses the few feet over to the fireplace, slamming a hand against the rock mantle. I hear a low growl before he cusses, "Fuck."

After a few moments of staring into the flames, he spins around and paces back over. Dropping down onto his knees, he reaches up, placing both hands on either side of my face, and crushes my lips to his in a furious kiss. I gasp and hear a deep satisfied rumble in his chest. He pushes against me, pressing me into the back of the sofa. My fingers sink into his soft locks while my body arches into his, like coming home, as he shifts me to lie down, and I whimper in the jagged pleasure of his assault.

"Let me love you," he murmurs against my neck, placing hot kisses up my throat and across my jaw line. Hearing that word causes my heart to seize with fear. _Love_? That isn't a possibility.

With that thought my body stiffens in his arms and I drop my hands, "I..." the words to make him stop lodge in my throat, "Blues, I..." he moves his mouth to capture my protest. I remain impassive holding out for him to stop kissing, but he doesn't. His lips move harshly against mine while his hands grip into my hips painfully. He nudges my thighs apart with his knee and moves his body between them.

Pressing his hard-on into my center, Blues groans, "Tell me to stop now and I will, but I will hate it. I will fucking hate it because I need you so much, Angel and I want to love you tonight." His words sound like a plea of a dying man begging for me to be his last request in his final moments. Taking my hands in his, being extra careful of my injured hand, he interlaces our fingers and lifts my arms above my head, confining me in place. He settles over me bringing his face close to mine and staring deeply into my eyes. "Baby, let me love you," he says with hopeful eyes never leaving mine. That damn squeezing pain in my chest, a déjà vu feeling from the first night we were together, burst forth with something I am unfamiliar with. Tonight I don't need Blues, I want him and I _want_ him to love me.

"Yes, Blues," I sob softly staring into his eyes while blinking back tears. "Love me."

His kiss is feather light across the swell of my cheek moving down to my ear. My body and heart are in agreement that this man is my other half and finding him restores the gaping hole I feel without him. Unfortunately I also know that this is going to hurt like hell. He raises up again, drops his mouth to mine and I open my eyes to see him looking so lovingly at me.

_One last night_. A deal is made in the depths of my soul. When this night is over so are we, but for tonight I will love Blues.

He guides my legs around his waist, slides his arms behind me and wraps me in a tight embrace. "Hold onto me tightly, Doll," he growls lifting our bodies off the sofa. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me up with him as he stands. Kissing me madly he stumbles down the hallway toward the bedroom. He carries me over to the bed, but hesitates laying me down. Still looking deeply into my eyes he pulls away from my lips and drops his face into the crook of my neck. I squeeze him closer needing more. He inhales deeply before lowering me onto the bed. I untangle my legs from around his body and he pauses towering over me.

"That's where you belong," he whispers, a satisfied gleam flickers in his eyes.

Blues moves his legs between mine, draping over the edge of the bed. His hands drift up my thighs, a slow, gentle caress. He moves further up, fingers skimming over the small space between my tee-shirt and shorts exposing my belly, and making goose bumps blossom over every inch of my body. I moan when his large hands slip under my shirt and tenderly cup my breast. His eyes latch onto mine and he dips down capturing my mouth with a frantic kiss while his thick hands knead my swelling boobs. I grip the back of his shirt and tug, needing it gone. He pulls away and sheds it quickly before holding his hands out to me. I take them and he brings me forward. Releasing me, he grabs the hem of my shirt and lifts it over my head. He pushes loose strands of hair away from my face before tracing a finger down my throat and slipping it into my deep cleavage. He pops the clasp and slides the lacy material off my shoulders, dropping it at the foot of the bed sufficiently removing the final barrier keeping me from feeling his hot flesh.

Still standing over me with his legs pressing against the mattress between my knees, he bends down for a sweet kiss. The tips of his fingers barely graze over my cheek moving away a stubborn hair, but the touch is enough to make my skin prickle. "You are mine," he whispers as he nibbles and sucks my lips while roughly digging those amazing fingers into my thick hair.
Chapter Fifty-Five

My mind is hazy, drunk even, but my body is more alive than I ever thought possible. The sensations rolling over my flesh vibrates down into my muscles and bones. Every part of me is drawn into an overwhelming excitement of expectation from my lover.

Blues

After removing the rest of my clothing, he guides me to the center of his bed. Watching him undress slowly while he watches me builds my anticipation of what I know will be the best sexual experience of my life. Uncertain if this could be our only night together, he isn't rushing this time between us tonight. Standing beside the bed fully disrobed he holds my gaze with an extreme intensity resembling a longing of a lonely man. Whether Blues knows it or not the look in his eyes is complete and utter annihilation of me. With a wicked grin, he absorbs every inch of my nakedness, like I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

"You are beautiful," he says sincerely and I think for a second that maybe he can read my mind. I can't hide the blush creeping up my neck or the silly ass smile spreading across my face.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I ask bashfully.

Heat flares in his eyes as he puts one knee followed by the other on the bed, crawling up to me. His thick biceps bulge as he presses large fists into the mattress. The cording muscles in his broad shoulders and chest, covered with a light sheen of sweat, flex like those of a wild animal stalking its prey. He crosses over so that he's lying on my right side facing me. My eyes scan down his body from his thick neck, over his sculpted abs and down his muscular legs. He places his hand over my bellybutton and glances up at me with those electric blue eyes framed in long and lush eyelashes.

"Yes my angel, you are absolutely beautiful," he replies dipping his head down so that his lips connect with mine. My heart rate soars.

His mouth begins a slow and vigorous rhythm, his lips parting open a little more with each sip he takes of mine. He tastes so scrumptious and warm like my favorite whiskey. Losing all thought in this kiss I moan repeatedly and his hand tickles up my stomach, stopping just under my left breast. He glides his fingers under the swell moving them lazily edging along the outside, and then encircles my nipple torturously. This touch is hypnotic and he causes me to gasp when he rolls and pinches them roughly. Continuing to kiss me deeply, he moves over to my other breast giving it the same loving attention. My hands drift up and over his shoulder, my fingernails scraping down his back. A deep rumble in his chest vibrates against me and instantly I melt.

He moves his mouth along my jaw to my ear and down my neck where he begins placing soft kisses. "You're the last thought I have before closing my eyes every night," he breathes across the dip at the base of my throat. My head swims with the heady feeling and my body burns with severe need for him. "I can't get you out of my head." He rolls his body on top of mine, spreading my thighs apart slightly. His lips scorch a path down my chest where he captures my pebbled nipple between his teeth. His tongue strokes around the edge of my nipple before lapping at it and then blowing hot air across it lightly. "You taste so damn good baby." The need to squeeze my thighs together is intense enough to make me whimper when his body blocks me. He draws my nipple into his mouth sucking hard and I thrust my fingers into his dark hair clutching him tightly to my breast.

"Oh baby," I moan faintly, my voice and body liquefying for him, "That is so damn good."

The feel of his large hands gripping into my sensitive skin along my ribs drives me wild. Wanting to feel him against my heat, I part my legs and he settles between them. He releases the painfully enjoyable hold he has on my nipple and begins feathering kisses under my breast. He slows his pace along my ribs to trace over my Jeremiah 29:11 tattoo before moving over my stomach. Shifting his body down, he nips at my hip while sliding his left arm under my right thigh. Hot breath flutters over my skin as he raises his head up to look down at my center.

"There's that sexy little strip," he says running his nose along my small patch of hair and breathing deeply. "You are intoxicating," he groans glancing up at me before lowering his mouth to my pussy.

My head thrusts back, my eyes roll up and my body arches off the bed as he slides his tongue into me. I grip the sheets in my hand tightly, like it will help me hold onto my sanity.

"Blues..." I beg my voice raspy and needy.

He ignores my cries and continues lapping hungrily. His fingers pierce the flesh on my hips while his head moves with the slow circling of his tongue around my clit.

"Oh, Blues, I'm so close," I raise my head looking down at him sucking me into his mouth. His eyelashes flutter before he looks up. Those mysterious blue eyes reveal so much with one glance, a promise to give everything while he takes my climax. Locked in an intense gaze with him, I reach heavenly heights and he moans against my ultra-sensitive core, seeing the pleasure deep in my eyes. I scream out his name and drop back on the bed. "Mmm, that was so... " _Fuck, that was so fucking better than anything I've ever felt in my whole damn life._ A few more licks later he stops and edges his way up my body. "More..." I pant and he smiles deviously.

Something about looking at him now hits a high alert alarm in my head. After having a mind blowing orgasm with him watching me like that I know I can't allow it to happen while he enters me. It will ignite something that I'm not prepared for with him. From the savage desire and dominating control he is displaying I'm not sure how to get out of it this time, since he demands eye contact every time.

"More is exactly what I was thinking," he growls hovering over me before lowering his mouth to mine and kissing me hard, "A lot more."

I drape my arms around his neck loosely. Hoping to shift the power a little, I begin kissing down his jaw to his neck. Blues rolls his head dropping his forehead onto my shoulder, allowing me better access. He moans and grinds against my center, enjoying every little lick and nip I take. Those breathy sounds are heating me up again and he is more than ready.

"Doll," he whispers against the curve of my neck, a severe plea in his tone, "I want to _feel_ you."

Warming with a shiver that his five little word request evokes from the depths of my very being, I stroke my fingers through his soft thick hair, raise his head up and bring his mouth to my parted lips. He slides his tongue in licking and twirling against mine while encasing me in his strong arms. Opening my eyes, I find him staring at me and I almost forget to breathe. _Definitely need to face away_ , I tell myself. He breaks our kiss and lifts his body off mine. Stretching an arm over to the edge of the bed, he reaches for his wallet. I take the opportunity to twist out from underneath him, turning onto my right side.

"Where are you going?" he asks, placing his hand on my stomach to stop me.

I grin glancing at the foil packet in his hand and reply, "Just rolling on my side."

He removes his hand and rips into the wrapper. A moment later he is scooting in behind me, sliding one arm under my neck and the other wrapping around my waist. I turn my head, glancing over my shoulder and he dips down for a kiss. It's soft, passionate and sweet, and I damn sure don't allow my eyes to open through it. Instead I raise my left leg over his rubbing my ass against his pulsing cock. He groans and I feel the vibrations against my back.

"You want me to take you this way baby?" he asks slipping his hand between my thighs and thrusting a finger deep inside. "Mmm, so fucking wet for me." I gasp and nod my head while squeezing my eyes shut tightly completely enraptured by the pleasure his fingers give while anticipating how amazing he is going to feel burying himself into my body. Reaching down, he grabs his dick and presses it against my entrance. He rubs it back and forth over and over making me mad with need.

"Tell me," he states placing hot kisses against the back of my neck.

I wiggle my ass, trying to encourage him before saying, "I need..."

"No," he demands in a whisper while sliding his tongue across the top of my shoulder. "No, needs tonight. Tell me, Doll."

Moaning deeply while he only pushes the wide head of his erection inside me, I breathlessly beg, "Fuck me, please."

Blues slides the thick tip out and then he shoves a little more back in slowly while he growls deeply, "Tell me."

I'm totally buzzing with a high from my desire to feel him inside me. I'm doing everything I can; running my hand down his abs trying to guide him into me, hiking my backside up for better access and reaching around grabbing his hair to pull him down for a passionate kiss. Nothing is working. He's being so stubborn and it's making me fucking crazy. I whimper pitifully hoping that he'll show mercy on me and give me what I want. He pulls out all the way and then thrust only the head back inside several times before he demands, "Tell me what you want. Tell me!"

"I want you, Blues," I pant. "I want you to love me."

Hearing the magic words, he slowly pushes every thick inch of his arousal into me. He grinds into me hard, forcing me to take all of him, and I do happily. He slips one hand down between my legs where he presses down on my mound as he begins pumping into me. I growl and call out his name while he continues fucking me and kissing my neck. The arm he has under my neck wraps around me, his hand gripping my shoulder fiercely, as he draws me tightly against his chest

"Baby..." he grunts. "I fucking love how tight your pussy is and how it clenches so damn hard on my dick."

I grab a handful of his hair and pull him around for another kiss. His rhythm is wild and amazing. He rolls over onto his back, dragging me with him. He brings his legs up slightly between mine, spreading me wide open. His hands roam all over my chest, pinching my nipples and kneading my breast. He slips one hand between my folds, massaging around his thickness, while the other works on my clit, all while thrusting his hips up and making me bounce on him. I am so close to shattering it is maddening, and I can tell by the frantic pulsing force he is going to join me.

Moving his hands away from my mound, I sit up and slip my left leg between his while my right stays draped over his right hip. Facing away, I straddle his thigh, bouncing and writhing on him while he grips tightly to my hips.

"Oh baby," I moan feeling the tightening in my belly and clench my walls tightly.

"Tip baby, I'm coming with you," he grunts thrusting upward, matching my rhythm. I don't tip over the edge, I fucking plummet. Just as Blues promised, he is spiraling out of control with me while barking out my name.
Chapter Fifty-Six

February

Streaks of gold light dance across the foot of the bed when I open my eyes. Quickly scanning the room my mind flips through the events of yesterday and last night. Blues made love to me all night long. When we finished the second time he took me into the bathroom where he treated me like a princess. He started with a hot bath for us to soak in while we held each other close. He sat behind me and laced his fingers through mine, wrapped our arms across my chest, careful not to get my cast wet and we talked about random unimportant topics. When the water cooled, he dried me off and took me back to bed where he touched and kissed every inch of my body. His eyes stayed fixed on mine like refusing to release it would prevent me from disappearing. He showed me more love than I've ever felt before. Without a doubt it was the greatest night of my life.

"Good morning," Blues murmurs against my neck. I turn my head seeing him hovering over me dressed in an Atlanta Brave tee-shirt and dark washed blue jeans. His hair is a cracking good mess and those sexy blue eyes are sparkling with renewed life. "Or should I say, good afternoon."

"Is it really that late?" I ask stretching and covering a hand over my mouth to stifle a yawn.

"Mm hmm," he replies sitting beside me on the bed and drawing my hand into his. "You've been a little sleepy head today. But that's okay; you can rest as long as you need."

He eyes scan over my face before he looks down at our joined hands and the sharp blue color washes into a dull tint. He looks like a man with a lot of regrets. I wonder if that includes making love to me last night. I'm reading too much into what happened between us. Blues doesn't love me...and...I...I...don't want him too. _Yeah, that sounds convincing_. A weird panicky feeling blankets over my chest.

"Thank you," I offer in a rather submissive voice that doesn't sound anything like me. Clearing my throat, I try again, "I think I'm good though. I'm sure you're busy and all today so I'll get my things together quickly." Twisting around to the other side of the bed, I slip off and begin looking for my clothes. I can't make eye contact with him for some reason and I don't know what this crap gibberish is that is flowing out of my mouth. I sound like some bitter, pathetic teenage girl. "I can be out of here in fifteen minutes, or less if I don't shower. You could have awakened me earlier, you know?" My tone grows harsher when I find my clothes scattered at the foot of the bed and on the floor. "Like several hours ago would have been okay. I need to get back to..."

"Angel," Blues says interrupting my weird ass monologue. He walks around the bed to where I'm standing. His hand reaches out, his fingers thread through the hair at the base of my neck. Tugging me toward him, his dark lips curve upward while his eyes glow, amused by my odd behavior. "Calm down. I like having you in my bed and I don't want you to leave." He wraps his free arm around my waist, pressing his hand against the small of my back and bringing me close against him. "We'll go back to Georgia tomorrow, but I want today." He holds me in a hypnotic haze with those drilling sapphire eyes waiting expectantly for my response.

"Today?" Regaining some of my dignity back, I straighten my spine and lift my chin up proudly when I respond, "It's a date." A big goofy grin sneaks across his face right before he kisses the hell out of me.

"Get dressed," he says over his shoulder as he begins walking out of the room. "I'm taking you to lunch."

For some strange reason I'm actually giddy about spending time with Blues. After watching him leave I shoot into the bathroom and zip around like a lunatic scrubbing and buffing every inch of my skin raw. I'm acting like he's taking me on my very first date. Once I sufficiently make myself a flaming red color and wash my hair, I practically dance around in front of the sink while blow drying my out of control tresses. I dress quickly in torn faded blue jeans and a dark brown long sleeve tee-shirt before walking back into the room.

Spotting Blues zipping my bag closed, I grow suspicious and ask, "What are you doing?"

He glances over his shoulder at me, eyes twinkling like exquisite jewels. "I packed your things, we're checking out."

"Oh." Sadness suddenly pricks against my heart. I thought I would get more time with him.

Turning around, he holds out his hands which I accept without hesitation. "Don't look at me like that. We're going to lunch and then I'm taking you some place special," He watches my face for a reaction, "Unless you would rather go home." The sullen look morphing across his face doesn't match his words.

"No," Smiling like an idiot, I bite my lip and shake my head. "I'm not ready to go back yet."

He pushes my hair over my shoulder, leans his face down into the crook of my neck and kisses tenderly at the apex of my jaw and earlobe. His cheek dusts lightly over mine as he growls in my ear, "Good, I'm not ready to give you up."

He grasps my hand, slinging my bag over his shoulder and then walking us out. When we arrive downstairs he has a rental car waiting, nothing special just a domestic sedan. Ever the gentleman, he opens the passenger door and kisses the back of my hand reverently before securing me inside. We drive south for an hour. Finally, he pulls into the parking lot of an aged Chinese restaurant well off the beaten path. I glance over at him and he shrugs.

"I have a little bit of an Asian obsession," he admits with a lopsided grin.

"Uh, huh," I drawl my reply while glancing from the rundown building back to him again. Then seeing the twinkle in his eyes and smile fade, it hits me that he's not kidding. He genuinely is excited about eating in a place that from the looks of it, the health department should have condemned at least twenty years ago.

"What?" he asks seriously, looking almost offended. I burst out laughing, clutching one hand around my stomach and covering my mouth with the other. "Oh, shut up and let's go eat," he insists guffawing with me too.

Once inside, I discover the place is actually pretty fabulous and definitely more my style than some fine dining establishment. We stuff ourselves on noodles, rice and samplings of every chicken version they offer. Even after repeatedly telling him what I like, he still stubbornly makes me try a bite of each until I tell him my new favorites. We're offered a fortune cookie on our way out to the car, but he stops me from cracking it open until we're sitting inside.

" _So_ the rule is you have to take a bite before you read the fortune," Blues explains popping opening the plastic wrapper and crunching on the end all while flashing a sexy smirk.

I follow suit while staring back at him amusingly, holding his hypnotic stare. We remain silent listening to each other crunching, and before I can read my fortune he snatches it away, exchanging mine with his.

"You read mine and I'll read yours." He holds mine out of reach, like I'm going to fight him to get it back. Laughing at his silliness, I just shrug and read his first.

"86400 seconds in a day to speak the truth," I recite quirking an expectant eyebrow up while studying him. His face suddenly pales and then a flood of red creeps up his neck. Slowly he turns and looks at me. "Well?" I ask smiling and waiting for him to read mine.

"Angel," he starts in a shaky whisper with a very serious look that sends a shiver down my back. _Oh god, don't tell me again that you're falling for me._

"Blues, are you going to read mine now?" I ask hoping to detour whatever weird revelation he is planning.

He blinks and glances down at the little scrap of paper while bobbing his head. "Until you break you don't know your strength, it all lies in the rebuild."

"In bed..." I add while laughing.

He snaps up his head with a curious smirk. "What?" he chuckles.

I laugh and reply, "It's just a stupid thing my girlfriend from college always says after reading her fortune." I shrug when he continues to stare at me with that sexy as hell smile frozen of his face. "What?"

"Kiss me," he demands in a deep growl as he leans across the console of the car and I do. Slowly and methodically, I kiss him with everything in me. In just the span of twenty-four hours Blues has made me feel more than any guy before him and my heart is overflowing. It's forbidden and something I shouldn't allow anyway, but I know that when this trip ends ours will be a sweet and fleeting affair.

"Doll?" he says starting the SUV and backing out of the parking lot.

"Hmm," I murmur resting the tips of my fingers on my swollen lips, wanting to sear this moment in my mind forever.

"I didn't know that you went to college."

Instantly my heart skitters to a halt. Fuuuuuccccckkkk. My cover!
Chapter Fifty-Seven

Thankfully, I recover with a plausible lie about attending one semester of a junior college which he accepted easily. I can't believe that I dropped my guard nearly screwing up my whole investigation. I must be more careful.

Around six o'clock, we pull up to a residence on the coast of Chesapeake Bay. It's a small two story blue dwelling that resembles a dollhouse. Wordlessly he assists me out of the vehicle and with our hands linked together again, he ushers me up the front steps. He pushes open the door and I realize quickly that we are at a bed and breakfast. A sweet woman in her fifties shows us the Blue room and we laugh at the coincidence.

"How long are we staying here?" I ask peeking into the bathroom, spotting a large claw-foot tub.

Blues walks up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and puts his chin on my head. "We're only staying tonight." I nod and turn around in his arms. Rising up on my toes I place a kiss on his cheek and then move over to the love seat positioned in the middle of the sitting area facing the television. "Don't get too comfortable," he says with a chuckle in his voice, watching me slip off my shoes before tilting my head back to rest a moment. "We're going out."

"I don't really have anything appropriate to wear to some place fancy," I counter looking over and seeing him unzip his bag.

"I'm sure what you have will be fine."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No," he smirks devilishly, while putting his clothes in the dresser and closet. I let out a long frustrated grunt and he chuckles satisfied with his ability to irritate me. "I will tell you that I'm taking you to a place where I can finally do something that I have wanted to do for a long time."

"Evasive much?" I joke tossing one of my shoes at him hitting him right on his dimpled ass.

"You're a very bad girl, Angel," he says, retrieving my shoe and returning it. "I'll need you to get up now." He holds a hand expectantly with a suspicious shine in his eyes.

"Why? Are you going to spank me?" I joke and then see intense heat flare in his eyes as he tugs me up from my seat.

"You want that, don't you Doll?" he growls touching his forehead to mine after seeing the hopefulness in my eyes. Stroking both warm hands down my sides and over my hips, his fingers dig into my backside painfully, but delectably. "We'll save that for another time. Right now I just want to be inside you."

He kisses me deeply, placing both hands on the sides of my face and tilting my head for better access. Continuing to nibble on my lips, he wraps me up in his arms and carries me to the bed where he spends the next hour doing exactly what he wants to my body.

Another hour later, we drive into Richmond where we eat dinner at a small steakhouse before he escorts me down the block toward a packed jazz bar on the corner. Seeing the place reminds me of the night Wise died, and the memories assault me as if they're happening all over again, but I try to keep my distress hidden.

"I'm such a jackass. This may not have been the best idea," Blues says holding my chair out and then sliding it under me as I sit. "I'm sorry, Doll. We don't have to stay here if you're uncomfortable." He sits, drapes an arm over my shoulder and slips a hand under my chin. "That's the last thing I want."

"It's fine," I say honestly staring into his hopeful eyes. Simultaneously we relax into each other.

Blues orders our drinks and after downing them he asks, "Will you dance with me?" I nod and he takes my hand in his. He spins me around once before drawing me against his chest. "God I've been fantasizing about dancing with you for months." He kisses my cheek while swaying us along with the deep slow sounds of a sad trumpet solo. His hands glide over the swell of my backside, rubbing and squeezing while he pulls me closer. I dig my fingers into his hair while he places soft kisses against my ear. "Having you in my arms is the best damn feeling Doll."

We grind our hips against each other, urging the desires of our body's along with the sexy rhythm of the song. When the first song ends he refuses to let me go. Keeping me locked in his sweet embrace, he smiles while humming along with the music and moving us around the dance floor all night.

"I could keep you like this forever." His smile is brighter and sexier than I've ever seen before.

Through every song he keeps his eyes locked on me and I know this because I can't take mine off of him either. At the end of the evening he takes me back to the bed and breakfast. Once inside our room he finds a similar playlist on his phone to continue our sexy dancing. He keeps the music low so not to disturb the other guests, which totally adds to our building desires. Soft music, others possibly hearing us having sex and just being in each other's arms is simply magical.

With his lips brushing against my forehead, he whispers, "I want to make love to you," he moves his lips down the side of my face, "until the sun comes up," he kisses my cheek sweetly, "and then," his mouth moves to my ear and his words vibrate straight through to my core, "I want to hold you in my arms," he presses hot lips against my neck, "and watch over you while you sleep."

My knees buckle making me sway into him. He sweeps me up into his strong arms and gently lays me on the bed. Blues begins loving me and before I know it the sun is piercing through the blinds as he pulls me against his chest, thoroughly sated and utterly boneless. With the remaining strength I have left over, I snuggle into the crook of his neck, breathing in deeply and offering him an exhausted kiss against his hot flesh. He groans happily low in his throat, turns and then presses a kiss to my forehead. A feeling of tranquility settles over me and before sleep drags me under I sigh with one final thought of the day, _this is where I belong._

Later in the afternoon we check out of the adorable bed and breakfast continuing on our journey south again for several hours. I know that soon enough we will be returning home, back to the way things were before the shooting, but something inside me wants to hold onto this time for just a little longer. Just after dark we arrive at a beach house on Seabrook Island. I notice as we approach that the entire house is pitch black, but luckily the moon is bright enough for us to see as we climb the stairs.

"Are you hungry?" Blues asks turning on lights as we walk through the door making our way toward the bedroom.

"Not particularly. Are you?"

He shrugs, "I'm a guy. I can always eat."

"I'm still full from earlier, but don't let me stop you," I chuckle.

"Nah, I wouldn't, but first I have something else in mind."

He deposits our bags onto the bed and then laces his fingers through mine tugging toward the other side of the room. Opening the sliding glass door that leads out to the balcony overlooking the ocean, he steps out and pulls me into his arms. We watch the last of the people brave enough to walk in the cool temperatures scurry up the sand back into their condos.

"Stay here," he whispers against my neck, causing me to shudder, before disappearing inside the house. A minute later he emerges with two thick sweaters in hand. "Here," he offers me one while he drags the other over his head. I copy him and laugh when the hem hits just above my knees. "Let's go down," he suggests before pulling me by the hand behind him and stepping onto the beach.

Walking arm and arm along the edge of the waves, we talk about everything and nothing while watching the moon rise and move across the sky. Blues shares with me about his parents and the tragedy of their death. The way he speaks about his mother, in a tone that is the sweetest I've ever heard before, makes me feel so sorry that he lost her. He was only seventeen when she and his father were killed in a horrific plane crash. When speaking about his father his attitude shifts to loathing. He doesn't explain the mood change, but I can tell that the relationship was acidic on both sides.

"My brother is a member of a unique branch of the military. He is literally a ghost and a very skilled Mantracker. He stays on deployments sometimes for as long as a year, but it's usually quick trips to gather intel or remove a threat." He pauses looking down at me, drawing me closer against him. The cool air blustering off the frigid ocean is beginning to numb my extremities. "Your cold. Let's start back." Pivoting us around toward the beach house, he bends down and kisses the top of my head, connecting my face with his chest and I breathe in deeply completely intoxicated by his scent. "Anyway Attacus returned home after my decision and blew a fuse. He showed up at my house and began beating the shit out of me." He chuckles softly, remembering the confrontation. "And I let him."

"I don't blame him," I mumble too softly for him to hear over the wind and waves.

He continues talking about his siblings, joyfully at times, but he also admits how he knows he let them down with his decision to join forces with Nelson and the X'kapz. Disappointment or embarrassment flashes in his midnight blue eyes and he quickly diverts the conversation back to his childhood and growing up in North Georgia. I find myself smiling, laughing and even feeling ashamed for him through his disclosure.

"So, a tattoo artist?" He arches an eyebrow while glancing down at me and stoking his thumb over the diamond etched on the inside of my wrist. From the way he asks I can tell that he isn't judging, he honestly wants to know more about me.

How can a man capable of so much bad be so attentive, good and loving? From what I can tell he is exposing himself raw and isn't holding anything back while sharing stories of his life prior to turning bad. His honesty makes me feel guilty because I can't share anything real with him and a part of me really wants this man to know everything about the real me, Samantha Walker. But, all I can offer him are my cover story lies.

Finally around midnight we walk back up the steps of the beach house and admit that we are both famished. Unfortunately, we didn't stop by a grocery store before arriving.

"Breakfast at midnight?" he asks waggling his eyebrows trying to encourage me. I look down at my sand covered clothes and grimace while thinking about going out.

"I would have to shower first," I whine pitifully hoping that he'll get the hint, but he only smiles while nodding his head agreeably.

"Move that sexy ass." He twirls me around on my heels, pointing me in the direction of the bedroom and disregarding my pouty lip.

I give in and drag my nearly dead ass to the bathroom. There is so much sand caked on me that I have to wash my hair twice. Once I'm finished I put on a pale blue, short sleeve, tee-shirt and black cargo pants before stepping back into the bedroom. Taking a deep breath I think for a moment that my mind may be playing tricks on me. _Bacon_?

Sneaking down the hallway following the heavenly scents, I find Blues busying himself in the kitchen. _He cooked me breakfast_? He moves around the small space like a master. If I didn't know better I would think that he's been here before. Since I didn't ask questions when we arrived, I suppose he could have. The smile on his face is pure happiness. Is it because of me? Could I really make a man like Blues this happy? It's completely crazy, but, in all honesty, he makes me feel like I'm the only woman in the world. I grin as I tiptoe quietly entering the dining area, but he turns around like he could feel me approaching.

"Hey Love, come dig in." Proudly he points at a platter filled with an array of breakfast foods.

"Where did all of this food come from?"

"I have my ways," he winks before opening the refrigerator.

"You're sneaky," I accuse as I pluck a piece of bacon off of the tray in front of me. "I thought you were going to make me go out again."

Smiling proudly, he shakes his head while filling two glasses with milk. "Nah, tonight I want you all to myself."

"Um, Blues?" He glances over after sitting our drinks on the table and taking the seat beside me. "You've had me all to yourself for three days." Leaning over he kisses my lips right before he steals the bacon right out of my hand. "Thief!" I growl while pinching his side. I reach for a new piece and gobble it down quickly, like the little bacon whore that I am, before he can take it too. "Mmm."

"Angel?"

"Hmm?" I smile while devouring a second piece of lip-smacking goodness.

"Three days isn't enough," he confesses quietly staring longingly at me with hooded eyes that reveal the depths of truth and yearning in deep dark blue. I wrap my arms around his neck, allowing him to bury his face into my hair. He is offering me all of him and it scares the shit out of me. Blues is everything I want, but absolutely nothing that I can ever have.
Chapter Fifty-Eight

After another two days of staying at the beach house, Blues finally confesses that he owns it. He also admits that he had an assistance stock up the food supplies while we strolled along the beach our first night here, hoping to surprise me with his culinary skills.

Yesterday he took me to a local, afterhours, clinic and kindly asked the onsite doctor to remove my cast. My arm is still very tender, but the competent physician reassured me after a quick x-ray that the bone is healing nicely, but to continue using the sling for another week.

When he isn't being an absolute gentleman, he is rocking my fucking world in the bedroom. Taking extra and unnecessary precautions, he allows me to choose the most comfortable positions during sex. It works out great for my need to look away from him while he loves me. He is bold and excitable while also maintaining charm and affection. Last night, I cuddled against his warm body while he tenderly stroked my hair and grazed his fingers over the swell of my hips. He regards me like I actually matter to him.

It really surprises me that Blues hasn't tried to impress me with all of the things his money can buy or gain us access to, like Decks does. But I must admit that I'm happy he doesn't feel the need to do it. I'm not that girl and apparently he is well aware. For me it's the little things that count. Keeping everything from food to lodging normal and uncomplicated, he appreciates the simpler things too.

It's late in the afternoon exactly one week since Wise was shot and killed and we are sitting on the back deck wrapped in each other's arms when the guilt of what I am doing begins to consume me. I have skipped out on my life, leaving behind responsibilities while allowing myself to believe that I could actually have all of this with Blues. Feeling like a professional boxer suffering from punch-drunk syndrome, I've allowed him to help me forget the heartache along with the role I've been playing for the past year. My body, mind and soul no longer feel like my own. It's not all his fault. I've been fooling myself into believing the lie that I keep telling myself about how I just needed a little time away from all the bullshit. It's nothing but a bunch of smoke and mirrors. The reality is Blues is part of the bullshit and I'm an idiot for buying into the illusion, even if it is for a short time. _This charade must end now_.

"I'll be back," I say pulling out of his embrace.

He smiles up at me before slipping his eyes closed and tipping his face up to the warm sun. "Hurry back, Love." _My god he is the most beautiful man_.

Once inside I locate my backpack in the bottom of the closet. I pull open the dresser draw and begin stuffing my clothes into the bag. I hear a faint buzzing sound and remember that my new phone is in the front pocket. Reaching inside, I pull out my cell, scroll through the call history and see several missed calls and text messages. Most are from Kris asking me to call her and one is from Russ saying that he was just checking on me. Peaking out the blinds, I see Blues still comfortably seated on the lounge chair, now smoking a cigarette. I hit redial.

"Hello?" Kris says cautiously smartly playing along with our cover.

"It's me," I reassure her, and she releases a heavy sigh.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Physically I'm fine, but emotionally, I don't know."

"Russ told me what happened. I'm so sorry honey," she whispers softly. Kris is my rock and hearing her voice settles all of the leftover heartache I've carried since Wise died.

"You know how I get sometimes when crazy shit happens. I just needed a few days away to deal with it." I pause then whisper, "I went to his funeral."

There is a long silence hanging between us before finally she suggests, "Why don't you come home for a few days? I'll take some time off and then we can get out of town. How does Vegas sound? Oh or maybe a cruise. You know how much I want to go to the Caribbean. Better yet how about a full weekend of hiding under the covers while watching raunchy porn and eating tons of junk food?" She giggles and I feel a smile creeping across my face.

"Kris," I start.

"Yeah?"

"I..." The guilty words are lodged in my throat. There are so many things I want to tell her, but today isn't the day for it all. I sigh and shift my thoughts before assuring her, "I'll be home tomorrow night."

"Okay Sam, I love you."

"I love you more," I reply meaning it, but knowing that our love is identical, and then I end our call.

I shove the rest of my shit into the small bag and carry it into the large living room, dropping it at the door before walking over to the balcony. The sun has already begun dropping over the horizon and I can tell that the temperatures are rapidly following its decent. I shift my gaze from the sun over to Blues still stretched out darning the sexiest smile I've ever seen and my heart jolts. Watching him now I realized that I have absolutely fucked up. Somehow over the past few days and with the simplest things in life, he has broken through every barrier that I've thrown up since I was a mistreated kid, keeping real love at a distance. This man didn't just break through though. He has destroyed every piece of my pathetic excuse of a wall. The truth of everything that he has done over the past five days slams into me hard. Blues has burrowed his way into my heart, taking up root. _Oh Goddammit,_ _I am pathetic._ And, profoundly in love with him.

"There you are. I was about to hunt you down," Blues says standing in front of me with a playful grin tipping the corners of his mouth. I was so caught up in foolish thoughts that I didn't even notice him approach.

"I'm here," I soothe sliding my hands up his chest and over his shoulders to the back of his head where I stroke my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. He lowers his mouth to mine and I sigh into our passionate joining. He places both hands on my ass and lifts, allowing me to leap into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and he begins walking us inside the house.

"God, you taste so damn good," he moans against my lips.

Tears prick behind my closed eyes. This will be the last time we make love. When were done I'm returning to Decks and finishing this job so I can get back to my real life. I release the hold my legs have around him and step back toward the large sofa. Taking his hand in mine I guide him to sit down. Slowly I lift my shirt over my head and drop it to the floor and then do the same with the remainder of my clothing. His eyes roam over every inch of me, devouring and memorizing. I reach down and lift the hem of his shirt, pulling it off while he shimmies out of his pants and slips on a condom. Lowering myself onto my knees I straddle his lap and kiss him deeply. His hands move around to my back and he pulls me in tightly against his chest. The heat of his body sears against my prickling skin and I moan deeply. A hard rumble erupts from his chest.

"Doll," he groans as I pull away from our kiss.

I reach between us wrapping my fingers around his swollen and needy dick pressing the head into my entrance. Placing my hands on the sides of his neck, I sink down onto him slowly and lower my lips to his. Keeping my lids open, I battle the tears that continue to taunt me as I stare into the eyes of the man I love. He searches mine deeply, finding something and connecting with it while he moves his mouth, sucking and sipping greedily. His tongue cuts through my parted lips and he sweeps in finding mine is just as eager as his is to be reunited once again. I decide at this moment that Blues tastes better than my favorite Kentucky whiskey. He's a lot more spicy and warm, but even that description pales in comparison to how thermonuclear he makes my body feel. He moans hungrily into my mouth while his hands roam wildly over my thighs, my ass and my back. Finally, he settles them into my thick hair, pushing his fingers into the back and holding me firmly to him.

The mingled scent of our bodies is overpowering and being encompassed in it now makes me feel like it is vital to my existence. My breathing is labored, and I can feel that his breath and heartbeat matches mine exactly. Our bodies move together like the ocean we hear crashing against the sand beyond the open balcony door, and with each wave a flourish of cries from my heart begs me to hold on and never let him go. Breaking our kiss we rock our bodies faster and faster, seeing it in each other's eyes and feeling it in the incredible build up that our climax is only moments away.

"Oh, Blues," I moan before brushing my lips against his.

My body teeters, just barely hanging onto the edge of bliss and I can tell from his harder thrusting and heavy panting that he will be right behind me with a thunderous climax. I grind down hard on his lap, wiggling in search of an abrasive connection before he slips his thumb between my folds finding my swollen clit. Still kissing me softly, he rolls two fingers tenderly over my sensitive spot and almost immediately the waves of my pleasure consume me. Keeping my eyes locked on his, I experience the best orgasm of my life that isn't just a physical enjoyment. It's heavily layered with confused emotions and wild mental pictures of us being together forever.

Seeing me so open and willing, for the first time, Blues' eyes sparkle brighter than ever before. He digs his fingers deeply into my hips, thrusting excitedly a couple more times before he explodes while whispering my name over and over against my lips. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I rest my cheek on his shoulder. He strokes his hand down the length of my hair repeatedly, sedating me. Our high ebbs away slowly, but I hopelessly cling to him for a long time afterward, fighting back the tears. My heartbeat levels out and I begin wishing that destiny would have never brought us together.

"I love you," Blues confesses softly into the now dark and quiet room. Frozen in place against his chest, I truly don't know what to do now or how to respond. With everything in me I want to repeat his words back to him, but I can't. Nothing about our relationship is that easy and it certainly never will be. I love him and I'm positive that I will for the rest of my life, but there is no future for a cop and a criminal.
Chapter Fifty-Nine

Silently slinking out of the bed, I glance over my shoulder and see Blues lying naked turned on his left side with one arm snaked under his pillow. A serine smile plays along the corners of his dark red lips. A single tear slips off my lashes before I turn around and leave him sleeping. I sneak off into the living room and wiggle back into the clothes I discarded earlier. It's still dark out and the clock on the microwave reads four in the morning.

I step out the front door, shuffling my bag onto my back after digging out my cell phone. I do a quick search on the internet and locate a local taxi service that is willing to come out this far. Then I book a flight back to Atlanta leaving out of Raleigh in two hours. Anxiously waiting for the cab, I write a short note and stick it in the mailbox, lifting up the little red flag on the side. I just hope that Blues notices it when he discovers me missing later today. I need him to understand a few things before he shows up at Decks' house banging on his chest like some modern day caveman.

Blues,

I needed time to get over what happened with Wise and with your help I've done that. Thank you. I need to be with Decks. Don't come after me and don't come between us.

Angel

Five hours later an Atlanta taxi pulls into the driveway at my house. I drag my weak body out and up the front steps reaching for the door just as it is being pulled open.

"There you are," Kris says smiling, but one look at me and her happy demeanor drops instantly. "Come on honey."

She guides me upstairs where she pulls back the covers allowing me to get into bed and then she climbs in with me. We stay quiet for hours. Sporadically she plays with my hair while smiling sadly at me. The whole time, all I do is feel sorry for myself for letting go of a man that I should never have gotten involved with in the first place. Suddenly razor sharp anger begins to boil through my veins. I jolt up out of the bed and begin scurrying around my room.

"What are you doing Sam?" Kris asks sitting up with her back resting against the headboard.

"I'm going back," I announce tossing clean clothes into small bag.

"Wait," she says sliding off the bed, but I ignore her. "Sam, wait," she yells. I stop, twist around and look at her like she's lost her mind, which is exactly how she's looking at me. "What are you doing? I'm not letting you leave here tonight." I cut my eyes at her. "Stow it sister, you are not leaving here until after we talk. I don't give a damn about your protocol or what you believe you need to hide from me because you think you're protecting me." I flinch back away from her. "Yeah, I know all about it. You think I don't know what you're job is really like, but I do Sam. I just don't want you worrying about me anymore than you already do, which is entirely too much, by the way." She jams her fists onto her hips and glares at me. "I'm not a child and I'm sick of you treating me like one. Whether you like it or not Sam, someday something bad might happen to me and it won't be for your lack of trying to keep it from happening. It's just the way of the world." I can't reason it and I don't understand it but right now I am so pissed off. "So just stop!"

"Stop what Kris?" I shout stepping toward her. "Stop caring about you? Stop wanting to make sure that my best friend, who I love more than any person on this entire planet, is shielded from the nasty, disgusting world I live in?" She pierces me with an angry look. "Is that what you want? Well fuck that. No! I won't stop. With my last breath I will do everything I can to make sure that my fucked up world doesn't affect your life." I screech while I slam my fist into the door leading into my bathroom.

"That's where you are wrong, Sam. It does affect my life." She counters stomping her foot in an attempt to demonstrate how angry she is too. "Do you know that I see just as much bad shit happening here while you're off playing super badass chick?" I glare at her for that ridiculous claim. "Yeah it's true. Everyday there are different children who come into the emergency room for one simple complaint or another. After examining them we discover quickly that they are actually victims of domestic violence, usually at the hands of their own mother or father." A sob breaks through her voice while she continues, "And you don't even want to know how many kids come through the door near death from a drug overdose. Many times it turns out that they got into their parents illegal drug stash." Tears streak down her face and she wipes at them wildly while still yelling at me. "If all of that isn't disgusting I don't know what is Sam. I may not know for certain like you do who the bad guys are, but I'm just as much living in the bullshit world you live in." She rushes out of my room, crosses the hall into hers and slams the bedroom door shut behind her.

Completely frustrated with the way things escalated between me and Kris, I slam my bedroom door and dive back into the bed. I pull the covers over my head and for the first time in a long time I release the pain that I've held onto for too long. All I ever wanted was to protect Kris and I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. Seeing her so angry with me and then hearing about how she really feels about it breaks my heart. She's the only person besides my Gran who knows all my inner most secrets and still loves me. Being raised by two parents who have nothing but contempt for me, left a deep and painful scar in my heart. I managed to live through their torment and built a life that I am proud of, but I still keep my ability to really care for anyone packed tightly away making it hard for me to love. That is until I started this damn case. Now everything is different. My strength is waning and I feel like I'm losing myself. Where do I go from here?

Silent tears slip down my cheeks as I lie in the bed and replay every word Kris said. Without saying the words I know that she was implying that I treated her like I didn't trust her. But that's just not true. I trust her with everything... _Everything except Blues._

In an instant I leap from my bed, rushing through my bedroom door and banging forcibly on hers. "Kris, open the door," I shout.

"What do you want?" she growls through the closed door.

"I need to tell you something."

There is a long pause and I know Kris well enough to know that she is making me sweat it. I don't blame her, I totally fucking deserve it. Right now though I wish she could find another way of torturing me.

"I'm dying out here Kris. I really need to talk."

She jerks the door open and glares at me. Her eyes are red rimmed and puffy. She feels just as terrible as I do about what happened earlier. I sigh and step into her room, wrapping her up in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," I state. "Will you forgive me?" I pull away and stare into her green eyes glistening with tears. She nods her head yes and grabs me for a hug this time. "Oh thank God. I was beginning to think you were going to be your usual stubborn self for a minute there."

"What?" She laughs breaking her hold. "I'm stubborn? You've lost your mind Queen Stubborn Ass." I laugh and clutch my hand over my heart pretending to be hurt by her name calling.

"How dare you? I'm no Queen. I am an Empress!"

"You got that right," she laughs shoving my shoulder before walking over and taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "What now?" she asks staring out the window across the room waiting for me to respond.

"Now?" I ask taking a seat next to her and drawing her hand into mine. "Well how about for starters we discuss some very important things that have been going on in my life and then we'll talk about you and the amazing Tate? Yeah?"

She smiles happily and bobs her head, "You're actually going to go first? I don't believe it! Miracles really do happen." She says playfully shaking her head. "Okay Sam, where do we start?"

She narrows her eyes on me guardedly, like she's waiting for my magical subject change that will in a matter of a minute have her doing all the talking. It's a cool little trick that I've managed to master over the years, but I'm not going to do that to her today. Today is about letting go of the old Sam so I can live in the here and now.

Sniffling back against an onslaught of tears that will most definitely come after this confession, I sigh and say, "I'm in love."
Chapter Sixty

I am a hostage by my own design, a victim of my own making and I am willing to do whatever it takes to escape my prison before I am destroyed all the way. Being in love is amazing, but loving the wrong man is absolutely the most horrible tragedy to ever strike me. I feel vulnerable and ripped apart. I have exposed myself fully to a man who makes me feel more cherished and valuable than anyone before him. But it's all a lie. He doesn't know the real me and he never will.

Kris and I spend the week together. She has great advice when it comes to love, but in the end she understands my unique situation and agrees that severing the connection immediately is the best idea for everyone involved, although, she doesn't believe that this is the end of mine and Blues' story. Her last piece of advice was to wait, but I just don't have it in me to do that. Returning to Decks and getting him to turn states evidence are my only objectives.

Kris drops me off at Holidays today where I pick up my Jeep. It's been parked in the lot since Wise was killed. I snag my spare key from the magnetic holder placed near my rear tire and I don't even glance at the building when I pull away. Making my way through the rolling hills I center my mind and regain the control that I relinquished when the shit hit the fan over a week ago. Passing Blues' house, I spot his Bentley and Lourdes' white Land Rover parked in his driveway.

"Looks like Blues didn't move on, he slunk back," I say to myself. "Good. Actually it's great. Beasts from hell are like birds of a feather. They deserve each other." _Bastard_.

I park my Jeep outside the front door and jog up the steps. Climbing the staircase to the third level, I can tell by the ominous and muted air that Decks isn't home. Blues told me he came back last Sunday, but I guess he had to leave again. I enter my bedroom and cross the wide distance over to the bay window overlooking the black lake below. Kicking back against the wall as I sit, I lean my forehead on the glass and lower my eyelids needing to absorb the solitude.

Up until this point I've just been expecting the opportunity to finalize this case to just present itself up on a silver platter. I wonder how the hell I got here and I realize that I let myself get complacent. Sure I have Decks wanting to take me to bed and he's even confessed that he wants everything with me, meaning a serious relationship. I also know that he's murdered for me, and claims that he will do anything. That sets my mind into motion. Within a minute I have devised a masterful plan.

"Now, if he'll just get his ass home."

An hour later, I've made a light snack and am returning to my room when I hear the front door open. I smile knowing this is finally it. Today I will do something despicable, but if it's a success then it will end the reign of terror from this band of dope peddlers.

I place my plate and glass of wine on the nightstand before returning to the hallway. He would have seen my Jeep parked out front and will be running up to meet me so I might as well start now with my overacting job.

"Decks?" I call sweetly as I approach the doorway of my bedroom.

"You wish," a low snarl comes down the corridor leading from the staircase.

I stop, cross my arms over my chest and widen my stance, waiting for the super bitch to do her best. Lourdes walks with purpose and a renewed determination. Maybe she got a little from Blues and it has put a renewed pep in her step. Jealousy rolls through my soul just thinking it.

"What do you want?" I ask already irritated with her presence. _I hate this bitch._

In her five inch heels, she stomps straight up to me and pokes a fingernail into my right bicep. "What do I want?" She barks. "I'll tell you what I want. It's what I've wanted since the first time I laid my eyes on your disgusting face. I want you to disappear."

"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen. So pick something else," I smirk and my total disregard causes the red flame of anger to flash up her neck.

"You really think you're cute, don't you? You may have all of them fooled, but I see you." She narrows her eyes at me raking them up and down my body in disgust. Her bully techniques are laughable and I refuse to respond to psycho Barbie. "I know what you are and I don't care what it takes I _will_ remove you." I relax my stance slightly and she paces a few steps around me. I turn, following her as she skulks passed me. I'm curious to see where this freak show is going. "You are a filthy whore. I know that you threw yourself at Ethan." I snort at her ignorance, but with the odd distant look in her eye I don't think she's really aware that I'm still standing here. "He is mine," she snarls flashing blazing blue eyes at me and I just shrug a shoulder. I guess she is lucid after all. "You are nothing to him. Do you hear me?" She stalks closer and stares directly into my eyes.

"Okay, so going against the general consensus you don't think I'm cute, but you know who I am. Wooooh," Making a ghostly sound I wiggle my fingers in the air. "Vanquishing the whore who threw herself at your _ex_ is your ultimate plan. Does that about sum it up?" I finish antagonizing her with a bored glare.

"I should have stayed behind," she mumbles.

I hold my hand up to my ear. "What was that?"

"I should have made certain." Her eyes and features become obsidian.

Narrowing my eyes on her, I ask, "What are you talking about Lourdes? I'm trying to stay with you here, but you're not completing your thoughts anymore."

A flash of light moves behind her on the lower level, but with her eyes locked on me she doesn't notice. Seeing it for myself I know that it's the front door opening.

"You lasted entirely too long," she states stepping closer to me. Now I begin to take her serious and scan over her searching for weapons. She just might be crazy enough to kill me.

"I warned you," she spits. "I warned you that first night. I told you that you better keep your sticky fingers to yourself or _I_ would deal with your thieving ass." I arch an eyebrow up to her, but remain quiet. I think I've annoyed her enough...for now. "I've been watching you. Watching how you've been slinking your way through all the men. Shane was the next one in your sights. Wasn't he?" I refuse to dignify that ridiculousness. "I blame Rad for bringing you here. If it weren't for him you certainly wouldn't be an issue now and all of the bullshit wouldn't have been necessary. Fortunately we don't have to worry about him. After getting busted with the largest shipment on the record books he'll never see the outside of a prison cell again." My hackles are on full alert. She is definitely suffering from a psychotic break.

"Lourdes, why don't you go home, calm down for a little while and then when you feel better you can come back over later so that you can finish whatever this is," I say holding my hands out signaling surrender, but really preparing for the moment her head pops off.

"No," she screeches. _Damn, I wish I had some holy water_. "Don't you ever tell me what to do! You will listen to me now." She stares at me with ice cold eyes daring me to try patronizing her again.

"Okay..." Drawing out the word, I nod my head agreeably.

She paces over to my bedroom door and stares into the room. "When I removed him from the game you didn't go away. You just moved along like the slut that you are, taking Decks as your next fuck toy."

"What?" I stutter, "What do you mean you removed him?"

"I removed him. That's all you need to know." She states coolly, glancing over her shoulder at me with dead eyes. Is she the one who set up the bust?

"So you wanted me gone and the best way for you to do that was to remove Rad."

"I couldn't believe that my brother was so desperate. He stepped right into Rad's shoes or bed rather, and you leaped at the chance. Didn't you?"

"It didn't happen like that Lourdes. Why don't you talk to your brother about it?"

"My brother is a fucking idiot," she screams. Her hands are tight fists clenching in front of her and her face is solid red from anger. I cross my arms again and after a minute of seething she finally gets control over her emotions again. For a minute. Now she's laughing and it's creeping me out. "Even when you told him to fuck off he saw it as a challenge, proving that he only thinks with his dick. Since getting rid of Rad didn't make you disappear I decided to take matters into my own hands."

Something tells me that what she is about to confess will be life-altering.
Chapter Sixty-One

A large figure looms at the top of the staircase behind Lourdes, who is completely unaware of the presence. She is still rambling along about what an idiot her brother is for hooking up with me. I don't owe her shit for an explanation, but she's not looking for one either.

"The Hijos were not very happy when Juan's nephew died," she bends an eyebrow up at me accusingly.

Shaking my head, I counter, "I had nothing to do with that boy's death. So whatever twisted ideas you have about making me responsible you need to untangle me from it."

"Idiot," she laughs wickedly. "I am responsible." If I wasn't a trained officer my mouth would be hanging open right now. Did she just say...? "He was collateral damage, nothing more."

"What the fuck?" I mumble.

"I don't feel guilty about it, but I would rather have it be justifiable for a valid retaliation." I gasp knowing that I'm looking into the face of pure evil. "I should have just stopped on that damn icy mountain to make sure that when you flew over the cliff that you actually died."

"You?" I accuse.

"Yes, me!" She screeches angrily with wild eyes and balled up hands. "Those stupid men think they are the only ones who can get their hands dirty. My only mistake was leaving you alive on top of that fucking mountain."

"Because of you Wise is dead," I shout at her while stepping forward. My anger is writhing along my skin like it has a life of its own.

"Who gives a fuck? He was a traitorous cop. Good fucking riddance." She flips her hand in the air like she's dismissing him. I see red.

I reach forward, grab her by the upper arms and knock her legs out from under her. We go down to the floor together in a unified grunt and squeal. Her hands are wild, slapping, scratching and pulling at my hair. I flip her over and climb onto her back while wrestling her for her arms, which are tucked solidly under her stomach.

"Get off me," she screeches.

"Fuck you, bitch."

"Angel," the deep voice belongs to the large body looming at the stairs, now rushing toward me and Lourdes. "Let her go."

"Fuck you. She is a monster. And I'm not going to let her get away with this shit." I snap on Decks, sick of everything now.

"Let me handle it," Decks demands reaching down for her right bicep. "Get up Lourdes." I don't trust him, but I'll give him one chance to do the right thing. Otherwise, all bets are off and I'll toast his ass too.

"Fine," I grunt pushing off her back and moving over toward my bedroom door. I lean back through the door frame to peek inside. I'm satisfied when I spot my small hobo bag hanging on the closet door. My throw away gun is still tucked safely inside from our trip to the Bahamas. And it's only eight feet away from me. I will use it if I have to.

"What are you doing?" Lourdes screams at Deck while thrashing her arms wildly against his chest and arms. "Let me go!"

"What did you do Lourdes?" he bellows at her, gripping her arms tightly and drawing her up so she is looking him in the face. "Tell me now!"

"Nothing! Let me go!" she jerks away and he lets her.

"Decks, she tried to kill me," I demand pointing a finger at Lourdes.

She straightens her clothes, runs her hands over her hair and pulls a straight face before glancing over at me. Eerily calm now she turns back to face her brother. "She attacked me. I came over to see you and that mongrel jumped on me like the wild beast she is."

I snort, "Puh-lease! You heard everything she said. She confessed without remorse to running me off the mountain and is pissed off that I lived." My rage is unstable, my body is tense and I stare at him expectantly.

"Why?" is all he asks her, with utter confusion set in his sad eyes.

"She's a liar, Decks. I did no such thing," she lies. She has taken several steps away from us, backing toward the staircase.

"You wanted her out of the way so badly that you were willing to kill her? And then you let me believe..." he trails off looking at her completely confused.

"You're taking that bitches side?" Lourdes snarls at him, her body trembling with unleashed fury. "What happened to you? You never put anyone before me until her." She glares at me with absolute disgust. "How could you bring her in and trust her? She's nobody. Nothing. I'm your sister!" He takes several steps toward her and she continues to retreat backward.

"Lourdes, you need help," he says accusingly. Finally the right emotion emerges in his words and demeanor. His fists clench tightly at his thighs. "I told you to stay away from Angel."

"If you had just left your dick in your pants she wouldn't be here now. But no, you had to rescue her after Rad was busted." Decks is only three feet away from Lourdes, her right foot on the edge of the top step. She glances down behind her before jabbing a finger in my direction while hissing, "She is beneath you!" She glares directly at me before turning her attention back to him. "You disgust me. What do you think father would say if he knew you were slumming with that trailer park trash?"

"Enough," he yells and then clutches his arms around his stomach. "You will pay for this, Lourdes." His words come out rushed and distorted like he's in pain. A grotesque smile creeps along her face. "I will make you pay." He drops to his knees still holding his midsection tightly. I rush toward him, draping my arm over his shoulder and placing my hand on his cheek.

"Fool," she howls through a creepy laugh, "You will do nothing." She takes a step down. "I can't take all the credit. Your little drug habit has your mind all fucked up. It has you believing that you actually love her." An evil laughter erupts from deep within her before she takes another step backward. "How nice it must be for you, Angel, to know that a man must be on drugs to love you." I ignore her.

"Decks," I tilt his face toward me and see that he is in a lot of pain. "Can you get up?" he shakes his head. "I'm calling an ambulance," I say releasing him and standing.

"Angel, no," he groans and then grunts as he tries to stand on his own. I reach down taking his arm and helping him to rise up all the way. No longer focused on Lourdes, I wrap my arm around his waist and escort him to his bedroom. Soon we hear the front door slam, indicating the bitch has left the building. _I'll deal with her ass later_.

"Here," I encourage helping him sit on the edge of his bed. "Lie back, I'll grab you a cool cloth." His chocolate eyes are pinching tightly, his fingers are turning white from squeezing them so long, and he winces as I assist him with lying back, emphasizing his pain is severe. "Okay, easy. I'll be right back."

I dash into his bathroom and come running back out with a wet wash cloth. I sit next to him and begin rubbing the towel over his brow. He sucks in a sharp breath like my touch is inflicting pain.

"What's wrong?" I ask stressing over him hurting more.

"My skin feels like it's on fire," his voice is raspy and deep.

I shush him and take one of his hands in mine. He pulls them back to rest on his stomach. The angle is awkward so I twist around, stretch out beside him and curl up against his side. I place my free hand under my head for support while I look down over him. We stay frozen like this for an hour. His breathing slowly regulates and I can tell by the rise and fall of his chest that he is finally comfortable enough to sleep. I release a heavy sigh and then slip out of the bed. Watching him another minute, I shake my head over all the bullshit I've endured while on this case before leaving him resting. Once inside my bedroom I call Russ.

"I'm going to need you to put out a B.O.L.O for Lourdes," I tell him after closing my bedroom door and walking into the bathroom.

"What has psycho Barbie done now?" he chuckles, using the nickname I made up after our initial encounter for the beautiful and deadly blonde.

"She tried to kill me," I pause for the effect and he doesn't disappoint. I've never actually known Russ to be speechless, but apparently this did the trick. "Are you still there?"

"Can you say that again?"

"She has been a very naughty girl, Russ. It wasn't Decks or Blues who set you up and it wasn't retaliation by the sons when I went careening over the mountain last month. She confessed it all to me and Decks overheard every word."

"Holy shit," he mumbles. His hand is probably covering his mouth and I can just picture how crazy-eyed he must look at this moment.

"I want her arrested for attempted murder on a police officer and if we can get it bumped up to premeditated that would be even better."

"I'm on it," he states. "Sam, what will you do?"

"I am finishing this damn thing. Now," I tell him confidently.
Chapter Sixty-Two

Throughout the night Decks will run a fever one minute and the next he is consumed with body racking shakes from being too cold. Holding onto me like I'm his saving grace with his eyes pinched closed he clears his throat several time while gasping for air.

"Angel," he groans, his voice just barely a whisper.

"Ssh, I'm here. Try to rest Decks." I push sweaty hair away from his forehead with a mildly damp cloth.

Shaking his head slowly, he winces and murmurs, "I'm sorry...I didn't know." He takes a shallow, ragged breath and continues. "I would never let her hurt you...if I had known. Please Angel...if you can find a way to forgive me, please I beg you for your forgiveness." Repeatedly through gasps and groans, he continues apologizing for Lourdes' behavior and begging me for forgiveness. I hold back my judgment on him knowing that my plan is the priority over my personal beliefs.

"I didn't know they would go after Wise," he coughs, turns his head muffling several deep coughs into the bend of his arm. "I would give anything to change it all. I loved him like a brother." He faces me with unadulterated anguish filling his nearly onyx eyes. His torment over Wise's death reveals a deep level of humanity in him that I never could have fathomed almost making me forget that he is a monster with Wise's blood on his hands. He doesn't even appear bitter about his undercover job, a fact that shocks the hell out of me. Whispering words of encouragement through the darkest hours of the night and clenched teeth, biting back dozens of hateful responses, I managed to finally get him back to sleep about the time the sun comes up.

Now slipping down the stairs, I am more than pissed off at whomever the asshole is ringing the doorbell, thinking that an early morning wakeup call is appropriate. Pulling back the thick wooden door, my grin splits hysterically across face with unrestrained joy when I see who it is, but it falls instantly when Blues' coarse dead eyes glower back at me. He holds me prisoner for a moment, no emotions bleeding through the coldness he is piercing me with. His large frame fills the entire doorway. His muscles are taut, stretching through the black button down shirt clinging to his massive body. My eyes roam over him from his well-defined, strong shoulders to his powerful thighs, creating a heady sensation that rushes hot through my blood and makes me sway. His thick hands that have explored every inch of my body are clasped tightly in front of him, causing my heart to clench painfully.

I am flooded with raw emotion looking at the only man I have ever loved. I want nothing more than to leap into his arms and beg him to carry me away. I ache for all of him and his sweet kisses so badly. I want to touch him, stare into his sexy blue eyes while he devours my mouth with his, get lost in his erotic embrace and tell him I was wrong for walking away from us. Then, I want to follow all of that up with confessing my undying love for him. But these thoughts are pushed away into the depths of my broken heart when his unrelenting glare shifts to complete dismissal before his eyes flick up the stairs, reminding me that we will never be allowed that relationship.

"Is Decks here?" he asks flatly.

Standing statuesque and beautiful on the outside of the doorway, he lowers is gaze back to me when I don't respond immediately. This look is more obsidian than the first. His resentment and disgust blasts me as it pulses off his body like shock waves during an earthquake. His hardness and total disregard are palpable, literally throwing me of kilter and I brace myself against the door for support. I deserve his hatred and I guess that I should count myself lucky to still be alive. Although we weren't technically committed, breaking off a relationship with a powerful cartel member has proven deadly to many women before me.

"He's not feeling well," I say finally finding the ability to speak. Averting my eyes while holding onto the doorknob, I anticipate him leaving, but hear my soul crying out for him to stay. _Enough already, what you had is over_! I scold myself for being weak when it comes to Blues. He offers a curt, stiff nod while he continues looking up toward the top of the staircase, like he doesn't believe me or is waiting for an invitation. "You can come in and see for yourself. He didn't sleep well so he's still in bed," I offer peeking up at him. I notice the stubble on his face when my eyes zero in on the twitching motion at the back of his clench tight jaw. Provoking him with my knowledge of Decks being in bed isn't smart, but he doesn't glance down at me as he crosses the threshold, climbing the stairs two at a time in what appears to be a rush to get away from me.

Instead of going to my room immediately I make my way through the house to the kitchen where I gaze out over the still, frozen backyard. Avoiding an awkward moment with Blues and Decks is a fan-fucking-tastic idea. Even though Decks is probably still waning between consciousness and death, I don't need him picking up on any sexy vibes between me and Blues, although, truthfully our encounter at the front door was anything but sexy. He was cold and his eyes spoke volumes, convicting me harshly with my betrayal. I deserve it. Just a week ago he told me that he loves me. Without waiting for my reply that night he took me back to his bed and held me against his chest until sleep possessed him, allowing me the time to cry over the steps I would take just a few hours later, destroying us completely. It appears my mission is accomplished. I finally got to see him for the bastard that he really is.

Twenty minutes later, I tiptoe up the steps heading to my room. Decks' door is closed and I assume that Blues is still in there with him. Whatever they are talking about is none of my business, but the minute Decks is well enough I'm getting his ass out of here. I cross the room, grabbing a change of clothes on my way into my bathroom where I begin running scalding hot bathwater. There is nothing I want more than to finish this job and be back in my real life at the end of the week. I need it desperately.

Hoping to forget about the man in the other room, I sink down into the water and begin dreaming about everything I will do when I return home. I am excited about helping Tate with his proposal surprise for Kris this weekend making Valentine's Day her favorite day of the year instead of the dreaded day we've always thought of it. I smile knowing that at least one of us will have true happiness. For sure, I'm going to swing by Gran's. Maybe I'll talk Kris into joining me next week, if I can pry her away from her fiancé. Hell, I might even make a trip to the UK to visit my baby brothers.

After a long soak in the bathtub, I change into comfy clothes and glance over at the clock. It has been two hours since I answered the front door. I'm fairly certain that it's safe to assume that Blues has left and I'm eager to check on Decks so I decide to chance a peek. Getting him to agree to my plan quickly will make all of the hell I've gone through for the past year worth it...well almost.

"Decks," I call after knocking on the door and turning the knob. Two sets of eyes shift my direction when I step into the room. Decks appears to be feeling much better and is smiling, happy to see me, Blues, not so much. Sitting in a chair on the far side of the room, he rises out of it promptly. "Sorry," I offer, glancing at Decks and forbidding my eyes to drift over to the other side of the bedroom. "I didn't realize he was still here. I'll be back later."

Before I can shut the door Decks calls, "Angel don't run off."

"Yeah Angel," Blues growls stalking toward me, "don't run off...again." I swallow hard, glancing at the hand he lifts up to my face. He places a finger under my chin, tilting it upward. I lift my eyes slowly, peeking from under my lashes. "Goodbye," he says it like he's teaching me how to leave properly, implying that he is definitely pissed off that I left without saying it to him.

Glaring down at me with bitterness, his eyes veil with what looks like regret. More than likely, he's distressed over admitting his feelings so flagrantly to a woman he doesn't even know. His hand glides up, cupping the side of my face and my eyes drift closed. My skin burns hot from his slight touch and I feel lightheaded and turned on instantly. I know he hates me, but my flesh, heart and soul still recognizes Blues' essence as my one and only. That freaking stupid romantic bone which I have been lacking in for twenty-four years is finally deciding to make an appearance, making it difficult for me to focus on the task at hand. I can't get sidetracked by the sex-god ever again. What we had is in the past and I won't allow it to screw things up with Decks.

"Goodbye Blues," I whisper back with a raspy, weak voice.

Sighing and avoiding his dark eyes, I shift away from him and make my way over to Decks. Blues turns around, watching me walk away, and I can still feel his presence behind me beckoning me to return to his arms as I hover over Decks' bedside. Pausing only a moment, I shake my head slightly, trying to convince myself once and for all that I'm done–we're done, while cursing my treacherous heart. He remains in the doorway until after I sit on the edge of the bed, taking Decks' hand into mine. From the corner of my eye I see Blues' powerful frame slump slightly before he shifts away, or maybe I imagined it because soon after I hear his footsteps rapidly descending the stairs followed by the slamming of two doors; Decks' front one and the one of mine and Blues' forbidden love story.

_The show must go on,_ I remind myself _._
Chapter Sixty-Three

"There you are," I say barely managing to get my heart rate under control and forcing my smile.

Pulling his gaze away from the door where Blues was standing, he says seriously, "You are my guardian angel." His eyes glance down at our interlock fingers. "Thank you. I don't know if I would have made it through the night without your help." His dark eyes are even darker, thinking back to the physical and emotional pain he endured. And maybe some other emotion that I can't define.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

"We have a lot to discuss," he says narrowing his eyes at me. He slides his legs over the edge of the bed so that he is sitting next to me. "I promise you that Lourdes won't get away with what she did to you."

I stare into his eyes and see that he honestly means his words. Nodding slowly, I glance at the empty doorway and sigh. "You told him?"

"Yes, he needs to know so that he can handle her crazy ass."

"No," I shake my head looking back at him. "This has to be done the legal way."

"Angel," he nearly growls. "I get that, but I've already explained to you that I won't let anyone hurt you. I don't care if it is my sister." I cut him off before he can add to his explanation.

"Decks, I'm leaving." I pause for effect glancing between his eyes and see sadness creep in quickly. "I cannot continue to live in this world." I lower my voice and glance away. "You have been amazing to me, but I don't belong here." I wave my hand gesturing toward the gigantic room. I sigh heavily. "I will miss you so much."

"No," he grabs my upper arms and pulls me into an embrace. "Don't leave Angel. I..." His chest heaves and his arms tighten around me, "I want you...with me."

With my face pressing against his chest I shake my head. "I can't do it. You're life...it's just too much." I pull back and look him in the eyes again. "I don't belong."

He slides a hand under my chin, tipping my face up. "You belong with me."

"No," I whisper. Lowering my eyes and pulling completely out of his arms, I shake my head again. "I'm leaving tonight."

Rising from the bed, I walk out of his bedroom and go straight into mine, heading for the closet. Picking up my suitcase off the floor my heart begins to beat erratically. I don't know if I did the right thing or not, but him wanting to be with me so desperately is all the bargaining chips I have left. Dropping my bag on the foot of the bed, I stroll over to the large bay window and take in the serenity of the black lake, waiting for his next move. The sunlight mirroring off of the water's surface, reflects back into my room creating, a beautiful, hypnotic warmth that I can feel inside while deceiving me from the reality of the frozen truth beyond the glass. It's funny how much this visual feels like my life for the past year.

"Angel," Decks says standing behind me and wrapping his arms through mine. He pulls me closer and I tilt my head back against his chest. "If you go, I go."

Twisting around, I step back and say, "No, you can't do that. You can't just leave."

"The hell I can't." He grabs for my hands again. "I'm done. That's exactly what Blues and I were discussing."

Cynical by the ways of this world, I have to stop myself from grinning and pretend to be disturbed by his plans. I suck in a sharp breath. "What? Why? And is it possible?"

He nods his head while smiling. His hands move to cup my face as he leans down staring deep into my eyes.

"I'm out. I want to be with you and I can't keep living this life." He smirks, "And _possible_ is a relative word."

Pointing toward my bedroom door I say, "They're not just going to let you walk away Decks." I shake my head. "You are too important."

He smiles. "I'm glad you think so because I feel the same way about you. We're doing this together."

"Decks, if I've learned anything from the year that I've been immersed in this life, it is that nothing is _that_ easy." I walk over to my bed and unzip my suitcase. "I'm not naive enough to believe that you're getting out of this life just by saying that's what you want to do. I'm nowhere in as deep as you are, but I know that when I leave here tonight I'm running fast and far away," I pierce him with complete determination before adding, "and I'm never looking back. But your uncle won't let you just disappear." Pausing, I twist around and step over to him, his eyes studying me with a new emotion burrowing deep into the dark chocolate shade. "Wait, that's it." I stare deeply into his eyes, and push away that last thought before offering, "We must disappear."

"That is exactly what I have in mind," he says dipping down and placing his lips to mine. His sudden movements catch me off guard. I really wasn't expecting a kiss. I brace both hands onto his upper arms. He wraps his arms around me one hand going into my hair and titling my head back for better access while the other sweeps around my waist. He kisses me tenderly and through it I smile. _This is working_.

"I don't know what you have in mind exactly," I say pulling away from his kiss and glancing up into his blazing brown eyes, "but I think I know a way to make this work. If you'll trust me we can do it today and say goodbye to this life forever." Smiling still about winning me at the end of this game of chance, he slides both hands up to the sides of my face.

"But Blues –," he starts and I grunt, cutting him off. My throat clogs up thinking that he's going to give into whatever Blues coerced him into before I came in earlier. Whatever he's offering is will end in another death. It's all but guaranteed.

"No, Decks, I don't give a damn about what Blues says. I'm not waiting." I snap, seeing that I might be losing him. I back away and bump into the dresser behind me. "I won't be part of this another minute." I begin pulling clothes out of my drawers before adding, "If you want to go with me I'm leaving now."

"I can't go now, but if you'll just wait..." His hands are up, palms facing me, like he's trying to halt me from leaving. His eyes look wild and pleading clearly not prepared for me to run off without him.

"No!" Pushing passed him I slam my clothes into the bag and rush over to the closet ripping everything off of their hangers in a fury. "No! I have to go now, Decks." I keep my voice in an unnerved and susceptible manner, matching my actions.

"Angel, there's more going on here than you know. The things that I have done." His guilty eyes avert to the floor quickly as he shoves his hands into his front pockets looking vulnerable and honestly remorseful.

"Decks," I drop more clothes into my suitcase. I pause hovering over it with my hands placed on the tall stack. Taking a deep breath, I exhale softly. "Whatever you worked out with him isn't good enough. I don't trust Blues and I won't wait any longer. You can come with me." Turning my head and looking him right in the eyes, I lower my voice and say, "We will make everything go away."

His eyes drift over to the doorway a silent debate is waging inside his head right now and I hope that my side comes out the victor. I've laid it all out for him. If he really wants out and thinks that I'm his prize for leaving this shithole behind then he'll pick me and my escape plan. But if the powers that be, Nelson and Blues, are onto his desires of leaving the cartel they will kill him before he has a chance to escape. Decks has bought himself a death sentence by letting Blues know he wants out. I honestly don't know if we'll make it out alive, but I'm not giving up on my only shot.

"Let's do the outrageous," he says reaching for me and drawing me in for another kiss. I wrap my arms around his waist and let out a heavy breath that feels like I've been holding onto for a whole year. Finally, this will be over.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"You and me, baby." He jogs over to the door, but turns around before disappearing into the hall. "I'll do anything for you, Angel."

I smile and counter, "Be ready in fifteen minutes." He stays there staring at me wild heat blooming in his dark eyes. "Move your ass Hilary," I order playfully watching his charming smile burst across his handsome face again.

Decks leaves me to finish packing and I fall down onto the bed instead releasing another heavy breath. I grab my cell and after glancing over my shoulder making certain that Decks is gone I text Russ.

Me: We're coming in.

Russ: Probation office?

Me: Done. See ya in an hour.

Russ: Be safe.

Me: Always!

I clear the messages, slip the phone into the bottom of my suitcase and then bury it under a pile of clothes. The end is in sight.
Chapter Sixty-Four

Parked in front of the busy government building in downtown Atlanta, Decks and I stare solemnly at the large, imposing office. For me this moment represents an end to the means, but for him it's a means to an end. A state of unrest wormed its way into my heart many months ago and now I feel the agitation unwinding itself knowing that this is finally it. Acknowledging that exoneration from the repulsive drug world lies just a few feet in front of me I feel a bit triumphant. Peeling my eyes away from the front door, I turn to look at Decks.

"There's something I want to tell you before we do this," he says taking my hand into his and pulling me across the console of his truck toward him.

"You don't have to tell me anything. When we are done here there will be a time for talking." I say biting back a successful grin.

"No," he says, gulping hard and averting his eyes to our entwined hands. "I want...I need to do this now."

His nervousness would normally make me anxious, but in this moment he is so different from the big jackass I met a year ago. Instead, I feel satisfied in his changes, and he almost appears vulnerable and innocent today.

"Okay," I smile sweetly, looking back at the place signifying the emergence back into my life with renewed excitement.

"I know that we are facing a crazy unknown future, but there is something that you should know. Something I should have already told you." I twist my head back around and see worry etching across his features, his dark eyes saturated with emotion.

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly, I don't know how to do this so forgive me for sounding so damn lame." The corners of his mouth tip upward. "You are the most amazing and sexiest woman I have ever met. From the moment I laid eyes on you I knew there was something special about you. Thank you for everything and for your faith in me. I hope I don't let you down."

Smiling passively, I shake my head slightly, reassuring my trust in him. "You are not going to let me down because you're doing something that makes me extremely proud of you."

"Angel," his voice is thick and his eyes veiling while his thumb strokes slowly over the back of my hand. "As long as I have you with me I know I can do anything. I can leave behind all the bullshit. I can become a better man–a good man. With you beside me for the first time in my life I want a good life." My heart leaps knowing that he has successfully taken the bait that I have cast out and this job will end exactly as my team has hoped for almost two years. His eyes lift up slowly, staring deeply into mine. "I am completely in love with you." I gasp, shocked and completely speechless. "I don't expect a response. For you, it may feel like this admission is coming out of left field, but it's something I've been feeling for a while. I've been attracted to you since we met, but I was certain that I loved you when you crawled into bed with me in the Bahamas, and I actually was more than happy to have you just lying in my arms. I didn't even care that we weren't going to have sex."

My lungs seize and it feels like I've sucked down a frozen margarita too fast. The tingling in my head reminds me of the last time I suffered from severe brain-freeze, and for the first time in my entire life I am completely speechless. Where the fuck did this come from? He _loves_ me? Is this monster even capable of loving anyone other than himself?

"Decks," I whisper hoarsely, my voice thick in my throat like I might cry.

"Don't say anything," he says soothing me. "I know you aren't ready to take our relationship to that level and it's cool. I just needed you to know before..." He glances at the front door of the probation office, jerking his chin toward the building, but implying our future. I nod weakly. Seeing my distress, he releases my hand and reaches for the inside truck door handle. "Come on."

The cold wind blows softly through the large buildings in the heart of downtown Atlanta. The early afternoon streets are busy and bustling with people rushing to get into their vehicles away from their jobs for the weekend. As we approach the glass door of the probation office Decks draws my hand into his and gives me an encouraging squeeze. I glance down at it before peeking up at him. His smile is genuine and his eyes are hopeful. Within the next few hours I will destroy every bit of love he has for me. Part of me feels guilty about using him so callously, but truthfully if I didn't do this there is no telling how many innocent people would die at his hands or by his orders.

Pulling open the door he allows me to enter first. I spot the same frail elderly woman I met the first time I came here when Decks left on his trip to the east coast. She nods her head, acknowledging us before picking up a phone and speaking softly into the receiver. We walk up to her large mahogany desk and lean against it waiting for her to finish speaking.

"Mr. Stevens is ready for you both. Go through the door and take the hallway back to the end. Turn left and there is an interview room on the left. He will join you in a few moments." She points toward the doorway and then quickly turns back to her work.

"Mr. Stevens is my probation officer," I reply to Decks' lifted eyebrow before he has a chance to ask his question. "I called him earlier."

We follow the receptionist instructions walking into the small, eight by eight, room and taking two of the empty seats sitting in front of the small desk. Scanning the room quickly, I notice two small cameras suspending from the ceiling in corners of the wall opposite us. It's a fact that everything said in this space will be videotaped. I remain silent still debating Decks confession. I don't believe that he really loves me. Obsession would probably better describe his feelings. Love would have to involve more than what I have ever given him. Unless he is so starved for affection that he actually believes what we have between us is unique. In that case I kind of feel sorry for him. But not really.

"Hello Ms. Johnson," a familiar voice addresses me in the doorway behind us. I twist in my chair and see Captain Reebals strolling in the room with a large packet in his hands. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure." He states coolly to Decks while holding out an outstretched hand. "I'm Captain Reebals with the Atlanta Police Department. I received a message from Mr. Stevens about an hour ago that said you two needed my assistance. Is that correct?" He releases Decks hand before walking around the desk and taking the empty seat. Looking intimidating as all get out, he leans back with his arms crossing over his chest.

"That depends on what type of help you can offer," Decks says tucking my hand in between his two large ones.

"I understand your hesitation, but let me be very blunt with both of you. I want one thing and one thing only. You have the chance to help me get it so I'm not going to play games here. If you give me all of the information to bring down Nelson, I will give you complete immunity and a new life in witness protection." He glances at me to make sure that I'm handling this bit of information appropriately.

I admit I'm completely shocked that the district attorney's office is willing to let him get away with the murder of Juan's nephew so easily, but I understand that by cutting off the head of the snake the body will die soon after. Meaning there will be no more X'kapz once Decks spills every detail about the gang, including the gory details of Blues' involvement within the organization. My stomach rolls knowing that soon every member of this faction will be served with arrest warrants and behind bars within the next couple of days. But my heart whispers its sadness over the loss of my one shot at true love. In my musings, Captain Reebals has continued explaining every detail to Decks, and I'm only aware that he is finally speaking to me when Decks grips my hand tightly.

I glance over at my captain seeing the questions in his focused stare. "I'm sorry, what was it you asked?" The corner of his lips tug upwards into the tiniest smirk after pulling his focus away from my hand, lying precariously in Decks', meeting my eyes and expressing something more than his words can. He's proud of me.

"I asked if you will please wait in the room next door. An assistant will be with you shortly to take your statement as well. Hopefully, we'll have you both moved into protective custody before midnight."

I nod and rise from my chair attempting to pull out of Decks' possessive hold. He stands too, turning me so that I face him. Both of his warm hands come up and wrap tenderly around my neck, his long fingers thrusting through my hair while his thumbs anchor under my chin, tilting it upward. He drops his mouth against mine and kisses me wildly. Pushing his tongue into my slightly parted lips he devours the gasp I give shocked by his forwardness. Moving his lips vigorously against mine his hands push into the back of my hair where he fists my tangled locks into a vice like hold. He moans deeply in his chest while pushing his body into mine. He is completely turned on at our most intimate exchange and I am utterly embarrassed that it's happening right in front of my boss. I grip his upper arms and give him a small push, breaking our connection. He drops his forehead onto mine, piercing me with heated dark black eyes.

"I will do anything for you, Angel," he reminds me as I step out of the room and walk next door with the biggest smile plastered on my face that is so set in it will no doubt require Ajax to wash it off.
Chapter Sixty-Five

"That was interesting," Russ states joining me in the same unmonitored room we were in a couple of months ago. Stepping through the doorway, he hugs me around the neck much in the same manner that he did before this case started–like a friend. "I actually think the fucker might have real feelings for you, Sam."

"Yeah, he can keep them." I back up a step, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the administrator's large desk in the private office. "Now are you going to tell me what happened at Holidays? I don't believe that Juan walked in and pulled the trigger himself so tell me how it went down."

"Are you sure now is the best time for that?"

"I have time. If you think Decks will give up everything easily to the captain you're delusional," I demand. Russ grunts, but takes a seat in the large leather chair behind the desk.

"According to witness reports, Juan sat with Wise for a couple of minutes. The conversation was quiet and quick. After a couple of exchanges that referenced the lost shipment and Juan's disappointment in the destroyed relationship he asked Wise to relay a message to Decks and Nelson." Russ glances away from me and stares at the closed wood door before sighing heavily. "Everyone at the table watched him rise from the chair, make his way over to the bar where he ordered a drink then turned and offered a salute to the X'kapz. He downed the drink then made his way toward the entrance where he stopped by the pool tables. Murph and Jerrik, you know the new guy that replaced me?" I nod. I've seen the guy, but wasn't introduced before that fateful night. "Well, they had been playing all night when Juan dropped a stack of quarters on the top of the table and then just as casually, he walked out the front door. The two guys they were playing, one was a white guy –" I interrupt remembering the men.

"Yeah, I watched them play one game. The white guy was around forty with thin brown hair sprinkled with gray. He was dressed down in jeans, a black Gentleman Jack tee-shirt and a soft black leather coat, which he kept on the whole time." Russ nods and I continue with my descriptions. "The other guy was black and dressed nice. Well, he was dressed like everyone else unlike his tablemate. He was wearing khaki pants and a white button down shirt with a brown tie and matching loafers. He was in his early thirties. Oh, and on his left hand he had a college ring," I pause trying to visualize the insignia on top of the stone. "It was Texas A&M."

He bobs his head, his eyes fixated on the top of the desk. "They were the shooters. After the silent exchange from Juan, they placed their pool sticks on top of the table and walked over to Wise's table. While the black guy turned to face the dance floor, leaving his back to Wise and Natalie, the white guy lifted the gun to the side of Wise's head."

"Damn," I whisper lowering my eyes and feeling the hot tears burning a trail down my cheeks. "The crowd would have suspected more Hispanics, but no one thought twice about those two guys because they basically blended in with everyone else."

"And no one reacted initially because they were shocked the fuck out. Naturally, no one witnessed a damn thing except..." Russ scrubs his hands over his face and then leans forward, placing them palm down on the thighs. "Natalie watched the whole exchange and gave her testimony that night. She was a good cop's wife."

"She knew what he was?" I ask incredulously, clearly shocked that Natalie hadn't spilled Wise's real job to me. I just can't believe she didn't spill it all the day we were out shopping, when she told me about his previous plans of becoming a cop. She really was a good cop's wife for withholding all of that information.

"Yeah, he was undercover for a long time. What we thought was an investigation for only a year was even longer for him." Russ eyes flick up at me, sadder now thinking about his friend who lost his life because of this damn case and the fucker in the room down the hall. "He was working for the Marshall's Office."

"So is any good going to come from his death? What do they have? Can Decks provide information that will get Nelson locked up for the deaths too?"

"I hope," is all Russ says staring at the door again.

"Okay," I turn glancing at the door too.

Two hours later Captain Reebals pushes open the door with a strange glint in his eyes before nodding once. _It's done_. I let out a loud breath and stand. Russ and I follow him back into the small interrogation room where Decks sits slumped forward, elbows on his knees and head resting in his hand.

"Angel," he breathes sitting up straight and glancing at me with a weak smile that falls instantly when his eyes shift to the man standing behind me, "Rad?"

"No Decks, my name is Sergeant Russ Daniels," Russ corrects walking in behind me and shutting the door. The confused look on Decks face morphs to understanding and he nods before glancing over at me again.

"What now?" Decks asks heaving a loud sigh.

With my eyes downcast, I can feel the three men watch me as I prop on the wall across from Decks. Inhaling deeply, I cross my arms over my chest and pierce him with a serious stare. "Now?" Decks watches me closely for a moment then bobs his head slowly, wringing his hands together. "Decks, my name isn't Angel Johnson." I pause, letting that sink in before divulging the rest. His eyebrow pinch in, but his eyes stay latched onto mine. "I'm Detective Samantha Walker with the Atlanta Police Department Drug Task Force."

Decks continues to watch me his emotions staying solid, completely unmoved by my admission. I turn my head slightly gesturing toward Russ. "We really appreciate your cooperation and I promise that we'll do everything we can to keep you safe until Nelson's trial. I'm sure the captain told you that afterward you'll be placed in witness protection where he won't be able to reach you." Emotionless, he bobs his head still staring a hole through me. "Good."

Seeing that Decks isn't going to comment Captain Reebals says, "You can go."

"Wait," Decks says holding a hand up as I move to leave. I glance down at him still sitting in the chair. "It was all just a job?"

Stepping back slightly, I slide my hands into my front pockets and tilt my head to the side. "Decks, I know it may sound heartless, especially after..." I don't finish my sentence. He knows that I'm referring to his declaration of love earlier, and I don't want to embarrass him in front of the other men. I straighten my spine and answer his question honestly. "Yes, it was just a job. And really, thank you for cooperating. You'll never know how much it means to me that you did this." I flick my eyes down at the signed confession that Captain Reebals clutches in his hands.

"Great," Decks replies moving his gaze toward the file folder. He leans back in his chair, bringing a hand up to his chin and rubs it while watching me with a menacing glare. "How many fucking cops where in on this shit?" he growls. No one answers him and from the distant look in his eyes he isn't really expecting a response.

Russ holds the door open as I walk out of the room without another word between us. Captain Reebals follows us into the hallway and grabs my arm before I can turn down the corridor. He pulls me into a strong hug and pats my back before releasing me completely. "Great work, Sam. Go home." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Take some time off. I'd say you definitely earned it." I bob my head and glance up at Russ who catches my questioning eyes.

"Go soak in a hot bath. I'll go pick up Kris and bring her home." He smiles, his eyes sparkling with renewed excitement. "We'll meet you there."

"Sure, but I need a ride. I left the Jeep he bought me at his place since there was no way in hell I was going to keep it."

"I'll get dispatch to send a uniform over." Russ says clicking his Southern Linc and connecting instantly with the dispatch center. "Your ride will be here in ten minutes."

"Alright," I stroll to the front door after saying goodbye to the guys. My eyes glaze over as I step outside and see the last of the sun's rays darken from pink to black almost instantly. Finally, the squad car pulls up to the curb. After a quick hello between us, Officer Serrano and I are off heading toward my house.

Other than the random and usual radio chatter the ride home is silent. We pull up to the double garage and I hop out, giving him a small wave before walking up to the front door. Once inside the house I walk casually through the entry way, glancing around the house and smiling at the comfort the familiarity brings. _I'm home_ , I sigh happily before racing up the stairs to my room.
Chapter Sixty-Six

Wiping the fog off the bathroom mirror, I stare into dark gray eyes and all the memories from the past year play like a movie through my mind.

Going in as Russ' girlfriend

Momma

Decks, Wise, Shane

Russ getting busted and leaving me alone

Natalie, Dean and Princess Simone

Moving in with Decks

Mad Hatter

Saving Chelsea

Ryske

Lourdes trying to kill me

Retaliation from the Hijos and Wise dying because of Lourdes

Decks giving up states evidence

Baltimore... and fortune cookies

Chesapeake Bay... and jazz music

Seaside Island... and falling in love

My Blues

I lower my eyes and sigh out loud as I trail back into my bedroom. Glancing over at the clock I note that it's been over an hour since I left Russ downtown. He and Kris should be home by now. I dress quickly before picking up my phone and sending him a text. Once downstairs I make my way into the kitchen in search of a warm drink. Reaching into the cabinet beside the refrigerator for a tumbler, I notice a stack of notes pinned to the cork-board hanging on the side. Reading the top one I notice my name. I unpin the stack and realize it's a note from Kris written today.

Hey Sam,

I'm working overtime at the ER. If you come home tonight I'll be there in the morning. Miss you like crazy!

Loves ~ K

Underneath it is another note written last Friday. I skim over the stack and realize that they are all notes written from Kris every Friday night since I left a year ago telling me where she is and when she'll be home. Smiling, I drop into a chair at the kitchen table and read through each of them. Except for a couple of times when she was having dinner with or sleeping over at Tate's, or spending a holiday with her parents, all of the messages are informing me of her being at work. She seriously works too damn much. Ugh! Thank goodness that will change when she gets engaged. There is no way in hell that Tate will let her work all of the time. Remembering that I planned on taking care of her parents' mortgage before my accident I jog upstairs with her notes in hand and enter my bedroom in search of my phone. I grab up my cell and begin typing an email to my attorney while strolling into my office. A text message pops up flashing in the middle of my screen. My feet stall, irritation boiling in my blood as I read it and Kris' notes flutter to the floor landing at my feet.

DECKS: SORRY DET. CANT DO IT UR WAY. IM WITH BLUES

A loud tone screeches for three seconds from my police radio indicating a high priority incident is about to be dispatched on the main channel. The obtrusive tone repeats and my heart flips knowing that a double tone means a call for S.W.A.T.

... _Dispatch to all units be advised hostage situation in progress at 210 Main Ave. Suspect is a white male in his mid-thirties wearing purple thermal pants and red hooded sweatshirt. Witness states that subject cornered several patients, nurses and a doctor in the emergency room after producing a large knife demanding drugs. Hospital security is standing by at the entrance to the Canton Children's ER._

Oh god Kris!

Disregarding Decks message, my fingers tremble while I tap out another text to Russ again after noticing that he never responded to mine from earlier. Taking several deep breaths I grab up my gun and badge before rushing down to my Camaro. I jam my foot on the gas pedal so hard that I probably busted through the floorboard, but I don't give a damn. Snaking my way through the subdivision at accelerated speeds, I blast through the gate, thanking the sweet lord above that it is partially open. But really I was preparing to rip it down with the front end if it was closed. Trying to get my breathing and heartbeat under control, I hit the call button on my steering wheel and dial Russ' cell. It goes straight to voice-mail and I scream a ton of curse words after canceling the call. The air inside the car becomes stagnant so I drop the windows before passing two cars in a stretch of highway that is marked with double-yellow lines and then gun the gas rolling the speedometer over one hundred miles per hour.

The tall illuminated Canton Children's General Hospital building peaks over the dark horizon and is only a half mile away from me now. I floor the gas pedal and jerk the wheel to the right, skirting passed several patrol cars parked against the curb leading toward the emergency room. A marked unit blocks the entrance so I jam down on the brakes and kill the engine before jumping out of my car. A large rowdy group is being kept over a hundred feet away from the building, probably patients and family members. As fast as my body will move I leap over the yellow tape, flashing my badge at the two uniformed officers raising their hands and voices at me, demanding I stop. They shut their mouths instantly recognizing me as one of their own, and I continue on my route directly toward the double glass emergency room doors.

Stopping behind one patrol car with the strobe lights popping intermittently, I spot a familiar face and rush over to ascertain any and all updates since the call was dispatched.

"Sam?" Officer Serrano says noticing me as I approach.

"Hey Spike, what's the latest?" My eyes are locked on the glass doors standing open fifty feet in front of me, surrounded by several uniform officers.

"One subject armed with a knife. We have one off duty on the inside, but we don't know his status. There are eight small extractions in addition to the five adult extractions. S.W.A.T is en route and will be assembling in the back parking lot."

Still scanning the area while Spike gives me the updates I realize that I don't know the guys guarding the doors, but that's okay, I can work with this. My priority is getting inside quickly and finding Kris even quicker.

"Do we have an ID on the suspect or the off-duty?"

"Off-duty is Sergeant Daniels..." my hearing distorts while my vision blurs knowing that the only reason Russ is inside that building is because Kris really is one of the hostages. He wouldn't leave her behind. I glance over at the small group of employees congregating back behind the yellow tape just to confirm if she is among them, but I don't see her. "...he has a shitload of priors, mainly drugs offenses. We're just waiting for S.W.A.T and the mobile command to assume the scene before we fall back."

"Who did you say?" I missed the name of the perpetrator while sorting through the crowd.

"Mark Hatfield," he shouts before ducking back into his patrol car and answering his ringing cell phone.

Frozen, I stand staring at the front steps completely stupefied while fear courses through my veins at an alarming rate. In my peripheral I spot the mobile command RV speeding toward the back parking lot and know that I only have precious moments before they take over, removing my only chance of getting inside. Spinning away from Spike I dash over toward the front entryway and approach the guy who appears to be in charge.

"Hey guys," I flash my badge casually and swiftly while keeping my eyes on the doors. "S.W.A.T is moving in so you are authorized to fall back now." I give my voice a heavy tone of authority and then cut my eyes to the officer closest to me when they don't move.

"Fuck that," he snaps glaring suspiciously at me. "Let me see that badge again."

Grabbing him by the collar, I thrust my badge against his cheek and growl, "I fucking said stand the fuck down and I won't fucking repeat myself again..." I glance at the name stitched on the front pocket of his dark blue polyester shirt before shoving him away from me, "Officer Seals."

"Angel?" A deep voice shouts behind me while large hands clamp down on my upper arms. Another man charges passed me and gets in the face of the officer I tossed growling at him to take his men and move away from the doorway. My heart rate spikes even higher when the voice behind me growls out a string of cuss words before spinning me around. My throat constricts, seizing all of the air in my lungs staring into a deep blue set of bloodshot eyes.

Blues

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I yell shoving out of Blues' unyielding embrace and staggering backwards away from him completely lightheaded because of his proximity.

"I spotted you racing down the highway and–" his words halt as his eyes drift down to my hand. "What the fuck?" he growls incredulously, glancing from my badge to the gun on my side before stabbing me with deadly and wide eyes. "You're a cop!" From his shouting directly into my face, I smell the woodsy aroma of whiskey on his breath.

"Get the hell away from me," I spit at him turning my back on his drunken ass and watching the large guy still in the face of the smart ass officer. He's also flashing some form of identification. With each punch of his words spit flies through his ferocious snarl while his fist pounds against Officer No-Balls bulletproof vest. _That shit's going to hurt._ The big guy spins around and stomps over to me pulling a calmer, but still scary face as he approaches. _Wow, he looks like Blues_.

"What's the plan?" he growls glaring between me and Blues.

"My plan is getting the fuck inside there and his plan," I jerk my thumb in the direction of the pain in the ass behind me, "is getting the hell away from me," I growl just as loudly. I'm so pissed off at him for taking Decks away from me.

He smirks deliberately, lifts his chin glancing over me, and then says to Blues, "Fucking perfect brother."
Chapter Sixty-Seven

The line of patrol officers swarming around the front steps of the Canton Children's General Hospital falls back and I glance at the glass double doors before spinning around and facing the big guy who persuaded them to leave.

"Thanks for that," I gesture with my chin toward the grown ass men sulking as they walk away like dogs with their tails tucked between their legs. "I'm Detective Samantha Walker." I can feel Blues watching me and something about his presence eases my anxiety. I really fucking hate it too. Because of him my whole damn case is now dumped into the shitter. _Don't fucking think about it now_. Keeping my focus away from him I wait expectantly for the guy to respond.

"Oh, well uh..." His deep hazel eyes with tiny burning flecks of green shift questioningly to the man behind me. With a touch of humor in his voice says to me, "You're welcome. Now care to tell me why you want inside a hostage scene so badly?" He peeks back down at me and points at the ER before dropping his hand to his side, propping it on his duty weapon in a nonthreatening way.

"The fucker inside is a nasty rodent who I've been dealing with for a while now." He bobs his head understanding, but clearly doubting that my answer is the only reason why I want inside. Sighing heavily, I dig my fingers into my neck at the hairline and through clenched teeth I hiss, "My best friend is on staff here and I believe she and her brother are his hostages."

"Right, well let's do this. From what I heard over the SWAT channel Hatfield is holed up in the C corner," he shakes his head, reminding himself that not everyone speaks SWAT, "He's in the southeast corner with thirteen hostages." Glancing up at the entryway again he continues, "Seeing that you're so determined to gain access in that way, I'm going around that part of the building and entering through the side door." He finishes by pointing toward the east side of the hospital.

"Sounds good," I try to smile, but can't even fake it. My heart is barely working on a regular beat because of the anxiety and pain due to the unknown lying beyond the glass doors and I need to get in there. Now. He begins to walk away and I shout. "Wait. Who are you?"

"Shit, sorry." He reaches out a hand, which I take and he grips mine back tightly, "Tac," is all he offers.

"Tac?" I ask, curious if this is his real name or if he's telling me that he is on the tactical response team within the department.

"Attacus Sloane," he clarifies and the air stills in my lungs once again. I whip around to look at Blues who has his eyes locked on me. Attacus is Blues' brother and he is a Stealth member! Tac jogs around the corner leaving me standing in front of his brother who appears to be swaying a little. Great, what the hell am I supposed to do with an inebriated drug lord?

"Detective?" Blues asks stiffly glancing up and down my body with some unfamiliar look in his eyes. What is that? Loathing? Regret? Anguish?

Utterly frustrated with everything going on and his presence here, I snap, "Yes, _Detective,_ and I don't have time for your bullshit."

Jogging away from him I pull my service weapon and climb the four steps leading up to the emergency room. I ease through the door listening for sounds coming from the far back corner, where Tac said Mad Hatter is holding the hostages, but I hear nothing. Tentatively, I take a step inside holding my gun outstretched in front of me pointing down the long corridor while checking my sides. It's approaching ten o'clock at night and it appears that the responding officers had the power cut inside the building. Continuing to listen for voices, I slide to the left side of the hallway and press my shoulder against the cold tile wall.

Placing one soft footstep in front of the other I skulk down the completely blacked out hall toward the furthest back room. The half wooden, half glass door on the right is partially open and I notice backup lights are illuminating the windowless room somewhat. I cross the hallway and edge closer after hearing several soft sobs coming from inside. Freezing in place when I hear a familiar snarl, I gather my thoughts and still my nerves so I can refocus and come up with a plan quickly.

" _I will kill you all. Shut up_! _Shut up_!" Mad Hatter screeches inside the small exam room.

Reaching the room he is holed up in I lower myself down onto my knees while pressing my side against the wall. I glance up at the stairwell door leading out toward the way Tac was heading and wonder if he'll be able to get in or if he's locked out, leaving me as the lone rescuer. I sigh inwardly and pray he gets inside. Having a Stealth member assisting me just might get everyone out alive. At that moment a hand wraps over my shoulder pulling my body away from the doorway and pushing my back against the wall.

"Ssh," Blues whispers too loudly placing his finger over his lips with his eyebrows drawn in. He's not just drunk, he is pissed off now. _What the fuck_?

" _You better hope your life matters to those motherfucking cops outside_!" Mad hisses inciting loud whimpering and pleading from several of the hostages.

"What the fuck? You shouldn't be here, especially drunk!" I growl under my breath. I can still hear Mad ranting inside the room confirming that he hasn't heard our exchange. "What are you doing?"

"What the fuck am I doing?" He hisses. "You can't just go in there alone with that crazy fucker!"

"Get out of here, Blues." I sigh. "I mean it. This isn't any of your business."

" _Get up_!" Mad bellows each word punctuated with a sound of flesh striking flesh. " _Now or I will shoot one of those disgusting kids_!"

"Hell no," Blues' tone is barely below a growl as he glares savagely at the partially open door. "I'm not leaving you, Doll." I glance up at him and see determination set in his burning sapphire eyes when they shift back at me. His tender words combined with the sweet endearment causes a familiar zing to hum through my body and I shudder. My body bows instinctively toward him while my skin prickles with desirous goose bumps from his blistering touch, feeling it even through my clothing. My heart screams out to him, but my mind refuses to fall victim to his scams again. _Forbidden_ , the word resonates loudly in my head like an echo in a deep cavernous hole. _Get your shit together_! Shaking my head, I shrug out from under his hold and pierce him with a glare equivalent to his harsh tone.

"You are the reason that son of a bitch is in there doing this shit," I snarl twisting my body away from him, assuming my position against the wall like I was before he interrupted me. Spotting movement in the window on the door of the partially lit stairwell, I glance up and see Tac narrowing his eyes on me while shaking his head and waving his hand in a way to shoo me away. _Great another man telling me what I can't do_!

"You're right," Blues whispers remorsefully behind me, his voice weighted with guilt. I nod in agreement while giving a one-finger hand signal to Tac, letting him know exactly what I think about his idea of me backing away from the door. His eyes grow wide just as I spot movement beside me. Before I have a chance to react I hear and see enough to shock the hell out of me and I am left momentarily stock-still with an array of emotions. First wrath floods my mind, followed by fear soaring through my veins, next an unexplainable sadness blindsides me and then finally disappointment sinks deep into my soul as I watch Blues, hands raised high, palms facing outward, stroll into the emergency room with the crazed gunman, becoming hostage number fourteen. _No_ , my heart cries out.

"Fuck," I breathe raggedly while my gut twists wildly and hot tears sting behind my lowered eyelids after watching the man who stole my heart offer himself up as the sacrificial lamb to one of Satan's vilest minions.

"Mad Hatter, I'm unarmed," Blues announces abruptly entering the exam room following up quickly with a jovially greeting typically reserved for great friends, "Hey buddy, I'm here to get you out." My nerves of steel fall into a heap of discarded and worthless fragments leftover after a welding. _Why_? _How could I ever trust this bastard_? _How did I let myself fall in love with him_? I glance up again catching the fear flashing in Tac's eyes before lowering my gun, dropping my head down somewhat, and praying that I have the nerve to kill Blues if he gets in the way of us rescuing the hostages.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Mad shouts viciously at Blues. I stay hidden behind the wall preparing myself for his betrayal. "You know as well as I do that those fuckers ain't gonna let me walk up out of this damn place."

"Have a little faith my friend," Blues says smugly continuing to saunter deeper into the room. "I am the man to make all of your wishes come true. So rub the fucking genie lamp and let's get up out of this place, brother."

Mad cackles riotously like the demented freak he is before snorting, "You don't have that much power, Blues."

"Don't I?" Blues counters chuckling at himself. "Tell me what you want, you have my guarantee that it will happen."

"You're shitfaced!" Mad exclaims. Blues scoffs offended by being calling out on his drunkenness. "Okay, I'll play along." I hear a strangled grunt and my guts twists fearfully wondering who he's torturing. "They won't let me walk out of here alive so I'll need a helicopter to escape."

"That's your plan A?" Pause. "Done," Blues says sharply. "But really man no one has died yet so you have a great chance of getting out completely unscathed with us walking right out the front door." Mad's only response is another snort. "Don't believe me? Okay, let's buy us some insurance. I know you don't want to harm the rug-rats so let them scamper along while we sort out escape plan B." He laughs at himself and it sounds like he banged into something.

My heart lodges in my throat. _Oh god_. Blues is actually trying to save the hostages.
Chapter Sixty-Eight

Tac waves his hand in front of the small pane of glass in the heavy metal door catching my attention again. He mouths, " _I can't get in_ ," He points down and adds, " _It's locked. You'll have to let me in_." Ignoring him, my eyes stray toward the doorway where Blues stands only five feet away from me.

Blues clears his throat. "What do you say Mad? Are we cutting the kids loose or what?"

"Whatever," Mad Hatter growls, "I need to think."

"Sure. Hey, want a smoke?" Blues offers. "I could use one."

"No, I don't fucking smoke anything except weed."

"A joint then?" Blues asks with a happy clip in his tone.

"Yeah!" Mad sounds giddy with this offer.

"Got some good shit in my wallet," Blues giggles. "I need to roll it up. Want to send the kiddos out first?"

"I don't give a fuck," Mad roars. "Just hurry the hell up. I need the shit now."

"Alrighty kids," Blues announces with a clapping of his hands, "Uncle Mad is letting you go. Come on." I hear rustling deep within the room. "Run, do not walk down the hallway and head straight out the front door. The Po-Po is waiting for you." A couple of kids rush passed me and I place my finger over my lips while pointing another down the hall toward the front door. The other children move a little slower, crying for their mothers that they are leaving behind. Blues follows the last little ones out and my eyes lock with his as he shoos a precious strawberry blonde girl wearing a hospital gown toward safety.

He mouths to me, "Get out!"

"Please don't do this," I beg with a whisper, "I can take him out."

He shakes his head and says to the girl, "Go on now, _Doll_. Get to safety." Using the nickname he calls me, he's trying to encourage me to go too, but there's no way I'm leaving. I shake my head and he rolls his eyes. He gestures toward his head and mouths, "He has a gun pointed at Rad's head."

My heart flips, but my determination pole-vaults and I whisper, "Stand clear and let me take the shot." His eyebrows pinch in, but the resignation settles into his deep blue eyes. He knows I must do this. He offers me a slight curt nod.

"Let's get high." Blues singsongs, turning around and walking back inside the room toward Mad Hatter. _Fuck_! Blues really sucks at hostage negotiations.

"Yeah!" Mad heaves a sigh.

"Who's that you got there?"

"A fucking pig, who's going to die next," Mad snarls before I hear a loud smack.

"A cop?" I hear a deep intake of breath from Blues and his voice lowers significantly when he asks, "Is he already dead? He doesn't look so good." No response from Mad.

Unless I expose myself I'm unable to see inside the room to check Russ' status so I focus on the pissed off face of Tac still glaring at me through the eight by eight size square window in the metal emergency exit door. He has a phone pressed against his ear and his mouth is set in a fine line as he listens to the person on the other end. I shift my weight onto the balls of my feet and he shakes his head at me, knowing that I'm preparing to charge the room.

"Do you think we could use him as a shield when we leave here?" Blues asks coolly.

"I don't know! I don't know!" Mad shouts, "Hurry the fuck up with that joint, Blues!"

"Got it," he replies striking a lighter, "Here!" There's a long pause and I can hear the popping of the marijuana before I smell the foul scent wafting its way into my nose. "So, want to tell me why we're here?"

With a mouthful of smoke, Mad chuckles and says, "I needed drugs." Blues laughs with him.

"There are easier ways to get it than busting up into a kiddies emergency room," Blues retorts with humor laced in his voice too.

"Not for me," Mad's tone is hostile again. "I've been cut off from all you motherfuckers! Even Decks after everything I did for him! I hooked him up with the ghost who's going to change everything just by taking a risk." Mad pauses to hit his joint again.

"Wait," Blues scoffs. "Are you talking about Dr. A? That fucker's real?" Blues asks incredulously.

Mad roars with a putrid laughter, "Oh yeah, and he'll be our escape plan C on catching a ray if you can get us out of here alive." Long pause and then Mad's voice is low and demonic. "But first I have a debt to repay. That bastard Decks cut me off because of the slut he's been fucking. His bitch is the next one on my list to die when we get out of here, Blues."

"Angel?" Blues' question is a muffled groan.

"She really fucked me over letting my whore run away." It isn't his threats about me that makes my stomach drop, it's the sound of a gun racking a bullet into the chamber. I know that he's getting ready to kill Russ. Time's up! I have to move now. A painful choking sound followed by a gurgle comes from inside the room.

"Mad," Blues says panicky. "Is one of the hostages injured?"

"Fuck her!" Mad growls then grunts deeply. _Is he still referring to me or is someone in the room with them injured?_ "Here you take this bastard's left arm and I'll take his right."

"We're going out the front door?" Blues asks loudly, ensuring I hear the plan. I swallow hard, rise up to my full height and lift my gun so that the barrel is an inch away from the door frame, anticipating their exit. Glancing at the door in front of me again I watch Tac watching me. Respectfully resigning his pleas for me to leave, he nods his head once and joins me in waiting for them. The sound of two sets of feet shuffling and a body being dragged my direction charges my adrenaline through the roof. I step away from the wall and angle my body so that I am pointing at the exact spot I expect Mad to appear.

A loud groan fills the silence, "Blues?" It's Russ' voice calling out for help. _Motherfucker_! Russ has just divulged to psycho Mad that Blues already knows the cop they are dragging out. I can't wait another moment. Stepping out into the open space across the hall from the doorway, I set my sights on Mad's right temple. I glance down at Russ whose blood-soaked head is drooping forward.

"What the fuck?" Mad snarls turning to face Blues, "You know this piece of shit?" He flails his gun between Blues and Russ haphazardly. My heart stops completely.

"What?" Blues stalls seeing me frozen in the shadows in the middle of the dark hallway.

Russ' head lobs up and he pins me with ice-cold determination. Swallowing hard he shouts with every bit of remaining strength he has left, "Kill the fucker, Sam!"

His unexpected demand begins a chain reaction that sets things off, but it's like I am standing outside of my body watching it all unravel in extra slow motion. A loud boom levels the emergency exit door beside me, where Tac was only moments ago which causes the men in front of me to jump. Blues tugs Russ his direction, but instead of moving toward safety Russ' weak body is all dead weight so they fall face first into the open doorway toward me. Mad jerks his head in my direction recognizing me instantly. In a nanosecond his eyes fill with utter joy before flashing back just as fast to evil. As the dust begins to fly through the air from the mangled door clamoring to the floor I see Tac and another guy approaching in my peripheral. Their arms are outstretched with large black handguns pointing in my direction and they aren't taking their sweet time coming toward us.

Mad Hatter draws his weapon up and I scream, "Police, drop your weapon!" But he doesn't stop, he doesn't even hesitate. With no other options remaining, I squeeze the trigger on my .45. Two loud simultaneous bangs distort my hearing while a hard kick slams me back against the wall behind me. I watch Mark Hatfield disgusting face smirking at me for the last time before he falls to the floor dead from the bullet I put through his skull.

After glaring at me Tac charges into the room finding one dead body slumped down in the entryway and two very freaked out grown men lying on the floor staring back up at him. I exhale while trying to keep my body from sliding down the wall and crumpling to the floor. Bile burns my throat as I look between Tac, Blues and Russ. Suddenly, I jolt up onto my feet and in a speed damn near that of the bullet I just killed a man with, I leap over all three men landing inside the emergency room. My head jerks around erratically scanning the remaining faces for one in particular, but I don't see Kris anywhere.

"Sam?" Russ groans. Swiftly I turn around and rush over to him.

Bending down and grabbing his arm, I stifle my tears and scream, "Where is she?" He shakes his head wildly before raising a hand and pointing a finger toward the back wall. All I can see is an empty gurney.

"Behind the hospital bed," Russ' voice cracks with emotion, "He stabbed her."
Chapter Sixty-Nine

_Stabbed_? My feet carry me, but my mind can't process what Russ said. Rushing around the hospital bed kicked over on its side, I drop to my knees and all the breath in my chest whooshes out when I see Kris behind it lying in a pool of thick, red blood, a knife wedged deep in her belly under her ribs. Scrambling up to her, I raise my trembling hand and cautiously push the hair away from her face. Her lashes flutter faintly several times before her eyelids lift revealing her signature striking green eyes that shift toward me.

"I knew you would come," Kris whispers followed by a gurgled cough that pierces my heart.

"Ssh." Tears slip down my cheeks while I shake my head wordlessly trying to make her understand that she doesn't need to talk.

"Sam, the ER doctor is coming," Tac states leaning over the edge of the gurney behind us.

Unable to reply, I bob my head still staring at Kris while holding her arm across my lap. Needing closer, I stretch out and curl my body against hers with my arm under my head. I move my fingers through her bangs, tucking them behind her ears. _Please don't let go._

"Sam," Kris moans softly. Facing each other our eyes lock and understanding drops between us heavier than a steel beam.

"No, please...don't talk Kris," I stutter and stammer. "He...he said the doctor's coming. Don't give up...okay. I... need you to make it through this."

"Ssh, I need to say this to you, Sam."

My eyes plead with her to stop this now. I can't let her tell me goodbye. I want to shout over to the guys and tell them to drag that fucking doctor over here now, but I can't peel my eyes away from hers. The tears come hard as I sigh and nod my head once.

"I have loved you from the moment we met. You're a real bad ass chick, with fighting skills that scare the hell out of me." The corners of her lips twist, but the smile is fleeting because she becomes strangled with coughs. "You don't play nice with others." Cough, cough, cough, "You're vulgar, stubborn and a real pain in the booty, but that's all on the surface," she gasps trying to take a deep breath. The corners of her lips tip up again when she settles. "And maybe a few layers deeper, but," Cough. "You have the biggest, most loving heart for everyone that you love. After our talk at Christmas you made me believe that loving Tate and being," Cough, cough, cough, cough, shallow breaths, "being loved is more important than the financial....obligation I poured my life into. Tell him, Tell Tate that I loved him more than _everything_ and I'm sorry." I suck in a ragged breath when I see her chest still and eyes slip closed. _No, this isn't right. God, please don't take her._ I wildly scream inside my head.

"Kris?" My words choke in my throat.

"I'm here," Her eyelids drift up then down a few times before she tries focusing on me again. "Where I'm going...all the ugliness you've been so...adamantly trying to keep me away from won't be there...kind of ironic, huh?"

"Hush, please don't do this. I need you to stay with me, Kris." My bottom lip quivers.

"You know in your soul...that finding ways to keep your heart closed off from real love is a lonely existence." Wheeze, cough, pause, "I need...for you to promise me that you'll go out there and live. He's out there Sam...waiting for you. You know this. He...is worth...it all and...so are you." I'm not going to argue with her now, but she's wrong. "I'm not wrong...so stop thinking it. Blues," Shallow breath, "is your soul mate." She smiles through the pain filtering through her dimming eyes and paling face. "He's the love of your life and the only man...that has ever tapped into your hard shell," I touch my fingertips reverently to her cold hands wrapping them and squeezing, begging her to hold on, "...reached into your soul and grabbed...your heart.... all of it belongs to him Sam and you know it." Her lips perk up again and a single tear slips from her eyes. "Maybe...a _piece_ of it belongs to me."

"Yes Kris. You are more than my best friend," my words are distorted with my sobs. "I love you so much."

"Sisters," She nods and the tears well into her dull green eyes, "Sometimes, I feel like we...were destined to be together. Like, right now. Fate brought us together for this moment in time. You know?" She cries silently and I cry harder.

I hear noises behind me and feel the bed move away. _The doctor_. "Detective?" A sweet angelic voice whispers over my shoulder, but I don't turn around, I can't.

"No," Kris whispers before glancing skyward. "I only have a few moments left. Don't let them take me away from you yet."

"Let them help you." I beg gripping her hand tighter. "Please Kris, please." I cry so hard, my chest is squeezing.

She gurgles and her mouth moves speaking so softly, almost too soft for me to hear lying beside her, "No, let me help you first...Go home, Sam." Sniffing and dragging my hand under my nose, I narrow my eyes on her. "There is life...waiting for you in Willow. Kiss Gran for me. Grab those twins...love them through their issues and tell those nasty... your parents to fuck off." She holds my stare before asking, "Promise me?"

"Yes," I nod my head weakly choking on more sobs, "For you, anything."

"No...for you," she corrects with a whisper. Her eyes shift to the person hovering behind me, "Angel."

"Sam, the doctor's here," Tac tells me.

Kris' eyes drift to mine locking, and then her eyelashes flutter softly before closing for the last time. My heart lurches hard inside my chest and a scream rips from the pit of my stomach. I place my hand on her cheek, stroking my thumb over her tear trail and roll my head onto her shoulder. I cry hard, harder than I've ever cried before. An emanating void floods my chest–an abyss forming a black hole where all things are sucked intensely from my heart and I collapse into nothing. I feel like I've died with her, my best friend.

"Kris?" Russ, who has been hovering above our head, sobs wrapping one arm around me and draping the other over his sister.

I don't know how long we stay like this, but eventually someone pries me off her and the floor. Numbly and tucked under Russ' arm, I stagger outside and sit in the back of a patrol car. I stare down at the ground hearing different people, some patients, doctors and even police department personnel, offer their congratulations to each other on a successful outcome in the hostage situation. As much as I want to scream at them for being fucking idiots I know that Kris would consider the kids being safe the success of this incident. Rescuing Kris and Russ was all that I cared about at the time. Even Blues cared about the littlest hostages more than I did.

_Blues_? Glancing up, I spot him standing with Tac and a few other guys across the parking lot. His eyes, sober now, are locked on me, and new longing sieves from them, making him appear kinder. No matter what Kris made me promise it isn't written in the cards for me and Blues. I loved the wrong man and there's no way I will ever get over him. It falls on my lot to be alone.

"Samantha Walker?" An older gentleman dressed in a tan suit asks leaning against the open door of the patrol car.

"Yeah," I answer pulling my attention away from Blues and looking up into severe gray eyes.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he sighs glancing around the area, "This probably isn't the best place, but if you'll give me a few minutes of your time to explain I think you might be interested in what I have to say."

Narrowing my eyes on him, I notice that he is a nice looking gentleman dressed in tailored clothing and shiny Italian shoes. He smiles and it is sweet, but I find it offensive after everything I've been through. I frown and he notices my lack of concern for his need to talk.

"It's about Dr. A," he asserts. That piques my interest.

"What about him?" I growl feeling my hatred from that fucker swelling with each passing moment.

"I have an offer for you. It comes from deep within the government, a sort of rebel division of task." He smirks smugly, and I twitch an eyebrow. Yeah, I'm definitely interested now.

"What do you have to offer me?"

"A job," His voice is low and controlled. "I want you on a small task force that will become a tracking team. I understand that you overheard some details from the perpetrator before...killing him." _Details?_ Now I look at him completely confused. "He gave your friend some information about the ghost?"

"Uh, Ethan Sloane is not my friend and I'm not sure I understand what information you're talking about, Mr....?"

He smiles. "Call me Max."

"Max," I repeat, "Why me exactly?"

"I think you probably want the bastard as much I do now. He has avoided justice for many years, Detective, and I need people on this team that are hungry to bring him to justice. Mark Hatfield is just one of his many sick and twisted employees. We're facing a bleak future if we don't stop him, stopping the spread of Ryske."

"Bleaker?" I snort before growling angrily, "Is that what you think? How much bleaker do you think my life can get sir?"

"You lost someone very special to you because of all this bullshit. I'm afraid that will happen for me, as well as many others, very soon if we don't find the bastard, shut down his pharmaceutical facility and end his tyranny. Please consider my offer." He steps back before adding, "I'll be in touch, Sam."
Chapter Seventy

Max walks away leaving me contemplating his crazy idea, and my betraying eyes once again drift up to where Blues is standing. I sigh and drop my face into my hands feeling broken in half. _Fuck!_ How am I going to get through this? There is nothing more that I want in this moment than to crumble into a million pieces or hide away, but that is just not me. I need to get away for sure, and I will, but there's one thing left to do. Spotting Russ talking with Chief Summers, I stand up and walk over intruding on their conversation.

"Hey," My voice cracks, still very much effected from my losses. Russ shifts his body toward me, grabs and hugs tightly.

"Hey Sam," He pulls away from me and places both hands on the sides of my face. "Thank you!" He pauses looking deeply into my eyes reflecting equal amounts of sadness as his, "I owe you for saving my life." I wince as I run my hand tenderly over the bandage taped to his head. "Chief was just telling me that one of the traffic units, not allowed to leave his post during the...situation," his eyebrows pinch downward, "pulled over Lourdes and promptly arrested her on the warrants the DA issued this morning."

"Great," I say morosely positive that the Kennedy money will have her out in no time. I just hope her sons have a place to go when she gets convicted.

He sighs and the chief attentively watches our exchange, "I know it's doesn't make any of this better, but at least we got her, yeah?"

"Yeah," I nod weakly, "Russ, I'm leaving," I state as calmly as I can while looking into eyes that match my best friends identically.

"Yeah, I thought you might." He nods dropping his hands to his sides. "Sam, call me. If you ever need anything, please..."

"I will," I interrupt. "I want you to do something for me now though."

He narrows his eyes at me and I shift mine toward Blues. He nods his head understanding my silent request to keep him from getting away, and then kisses my cheek before walking over toward Captain Reebals. Together they approach Blues.

"Well done, Detective Walker," Chief Summers says clasping a hand on my shoulder. "You made me proud. Canton owes you one for everything you did." I glance over at him standing beside me watching Russ with purpose.

"Thank you sir, but I think Sergeant Daniels is the one who deserves the 'At-a-boys' more than me," He shoots me a puzzled look. "He is an amazing officer and the best damn sergeant I've ever worked under and he would fit in well with your department," I suggest flashing my dazzling smile, and he nods knowingly.

"It must be divine providence working through us. Just offered RD a sergeant's position on my staff before you walked over, but the state has been after him too. We'll see what the boy decides." He winks before walking away. I want to smile, but I can't even fake one.

_Fuck you destiny_!

Making my way over to Russ and Captain Reebals, who is in full blown pissed off mode yelling at Blues, I stare at the man who stole my heart standing only a few feet away from me. His face is stone, completely void of emotion.

"Decks backed out on our deal," I tell them my eyes never leaving Blues, "Because of him."

"We have a signed statement from Mr. Kennedy. It will hold up in court," Captain Reebals growls.

I watch as several local news reporters' rush toward the front of the ER yelling for Chief Summers and a faint flicker of relief moves through my soul, soft and almost unnoticed like the flapping of a butterfly's wings. Turning my attention back to the men I smile.

"Great. Then arrest that piece of shit," I demand and Captain Reebals smiles happily before calling over one of his uniformed officers. My eyes lock with Blues' again and in this moment I feel like justice might prevail.

Pulling me a few feet away Russ says, "I'll agree with you that he's a piece of shit, Sam, but he helped save me too." I shake my head not wanting to hear this bullshit. He places a strong hand on top of my shoulder and narrows his eyes on me, "It was my fault." A mixture of pain and guilt floods his heavy eyes.

"What?"

"I came in through the front of the hospital on my way to the emergency room. Kris was walking down the back hallway toward me. Mad stormed into the ER with a knife saying that he needed drugs. He grabbed up the first kid he could reach and carried her passed the front desk. Kris turned around and saw him. She screamed for him to let the kid go and that she would help him. Without thinking, I roared, pulled my gun and rushed toward them. He tossed the little girl and grabbed Kris around the waist." Russ' eyes darken and my body begins to tremble. His stiff arm sags slightly, but he continues. "He dragged her backwards into that room and I followed. Some other patients had already run to hide in there." He stops and I pull out from under his hold.

"Go on," I encourage needing to hear the whole story, but I see the pain taking over in his features.

"He said he would kill her," Russ lowers his voice and his eyes avert to the ground while he shoves his hands into his front pockets. "He demanded that I give him my gun and take her place. I did without hesitation, but..." He swallows hard then falls backward, his ass bumping into the back of a patrol car parked beside us. "When he asked her where the key to the medicine cabinet was she told him she didn't have it. He went demonic and thrust the knife into her stomach." He winces and looks at me. "I fought him, but he pointed the gun at her face and told me to get on my knees. And I did. He hit me with the butt of the gun causing me to black out." Grabbing Russ, I wrap my arms around him and hold him close while he cries for the loss of his sister.

"No!" Shaking my head, I whisper, "I'm sorry, Russ, but you're wrong. There's only one person to blame for fuckers like Mad Hatter." Stepping away from him, I turn to rest my ass against the patrol car too and my attention automatically drifts back to Blues before I add, "A drug lord."

The Captain is still speaking to him, but Blues' eyes are taking in the scene between me and Russ. Briefly my eyes flick over to his brother. Tac glares at me, but I don't really understand his look. He knows what his brother is too. Surely he isn't pissed off at me for doing my job. The uniform holding up handcuffs orders Blues to turn around. My gut churns with disappointment from the events that led us to this moment. Even with the heavy-heartedness weighing me down a small bit of pride creeps in knowing that it's all finally over. Still watching me hard, Blues complies with the arresting officer and I avert my eyes looking down at the ground. Whatever he's thinking I'm sure loving me is the furthest thing from his mind. _Just the way it should be_. That thought gives me the resolve to let him go and leave Canton behind.

"I have to go, Russ," I whisper smoothing a single tear off my cheek.

"Angel?" Blues calls a couple of feet away from me now, being escorted by the officer directly toward the marked unit that I'm leaning against.

Swallowing hard, my eyes lift slowly as he stops in front of me and I stare into deep sapphire eyes. One corner of his mouth tips up as he shrugs, apologetically and I nod once. _I need you Blues_ , my heart still cries for him. Sighing loudly, his body tilts, the way he does just before kissing me. Clearly it's not intentionally. It's almost instinctively, and understandably so. Mine begs, no, it demands that I follow suit, but I can't. Just like Angel and Blues, Sam and Ethan are not meant to be.

Seeing that I don't respond physically he straightens his back and states flatly, "Detective, this is not how this end." My eyebrows pinch in hard and a shiver runs through me from his threat.

Through gritted teeth, I hiss, "Goodbye Mr. Sloane." Turning around fast, I force my body toward my car, leaving behind my forbidden love.
Chapter Seventy-One

September

I've been back in Willow for seven months now and it's been the hardest seven months of my life. Kris' funeral was held three days after she was murdered on Valentine's Day, and I decided against going. Saying goodbye to Kris once was difficult enough. Looking into the face of her parents, her brother and the man she was supposed to marry would be too much. When I spoke with Russ and explained my feelings he said he understood. That day, I did however do one last thing for my best friend. My attorney deposited the money into her account, covering the debt she was working so hard for. I only wish I would have done it sooner.

Decks was moved into protective custody the night he signed the paperwork. Luckily Blues' coercion tactics didn't void our agreement. His confession alone got Nelson Kennedy fifty years in a maximum security facility. Decks is securely tucked away into a new life under the witness protection program. Apparently because of his misbehaving and attitude about uprooting his life without me the government decided assigning a federal agent to watch over him was the best idea. I just hope it's not a female agent. And bless her heart if it is.

Lourdes is serving a life sentence for premeditated attempted murder on an officer off the law. That totally fucking satisfies me. Luckily her babies' daddy is a good man, well, he's not in the drug world so he's a bazillion times better than her or the rest of her family.

Granddad's chuckle breaks me out of my thoughts. "Hey Sugar dumpling." He walks through the doorway joining me and Gran in the kitchen. "You staying for lunch?" I stay for lunch every day, breakfast and dinner too. I love my precious grandparents, but all of this hovering and watching me is getting boring.

I smile sweetly. "No sir, I found a place of my own and I have movers coming over for my things this morning." Living in my own place without traces of Kris around isn't going to be easy. I still miss her every day, but this is what she asked of me. _I'm living Kris_. Well, sort of.

"Well good for you. I guess your dad finally relented on holding your trust then?" With a grimace on his face, he plucks a bottle of soda from inside the fridge and sits next to Gran at the island. I shrug. "I never understood his stubbornness with it."

"Me neither," I mumble my lie and Gran's eyebrows narrow in on me suspiciously. I feel the inexpugnable conversation looming. "So you'll come to my place for dinner this weekend, yeah?" I ask with my huge grin flashing, hoping to she'll stop looking at me like that.

"Well, the boys come home from their European vacation today so you'll need to make it a feast for five," Granddad smirks knowingly before taking a long drink from his beverage. "Still trying to fix those two, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" I smile innocently.

"I'm talking about suggesting and paying for them to backpack across the continent. You're a clever girl. Marcus loved the idea and I hope it works, but something tells me that Morgan will be a little tougher to convince on reconciliation."

"Oooh, I'm glad you brought them up," Gran says smiling from ear to ear and clapping her hands. _Whew_! Crisis averted. "I'm planning a welcome home party for them." Both Granddad and I roll our eyes at her because she throws a party for any and all occasions. Lucky for us, she leaps from her barstool and misses our playfulness. "Since they will both be moving back permanently at the end of next spring, or at least Marcus will, I want it to be huge. I know it will be at the castle, but perhaps we can make it even more outrageous with a super formal theme..." She continues rambling on and I catch a strange look in Granddad's eyes. Gran blusters around and eventually walks out of the kitchen while still chatting away.

"You talk to Russ lately?" he asks watching me intently.

Shaking my head, I reply, "No." _It hurts too much_. I think about Kris and get all broken up when I hear his voice, and also because...

"He called me again and told me that he's been trying to get in touch with you for weeks now." His eyes continue to penetrate through me so I shift around in my seat and reach across for a green apple sitting in a bowl on the counter. _Shit, not this again_!

"Granddad..." I warn biting the fruit while looking out the back window seeing the wave's crash onto the beach.

"It's about the case, Sam." _No, the hell it isn't_!

Scoffing inwardly, I narrow my eyes on him. "I _really_ don't want to discuss it again. He confided in you about what happened and that's fine, but I've told both of you that Ethan Sloane didn't mean anything to me. Please, just let it go." _Blues is one of the reasons I don't have Kris in my life anymore_.

"Sammy," his tone grows harsher. "Stop being a royal stubborn ass and pick up that phone!" I sigh and nod, but little does Granddad know, I won't be making that phone call. Ever! After receiving the reply from an important email that I sent yesterday, I vow to not break this pledge. Glancing down at my cell, I reread the message again.

Investigator Walker,

Thank you for agreeing to join our small DTF unit. Your contact on the island will be Kole De Luca. He will be in communication with you immediately to provide all the information available. Your commander will be arriving soon as well.

Welcome to the team!

Max

Finally, retribution time has arrived for all the hell that the fucking X'kapz, Dr. A., and Mad Hatter rained down on my world. _Thank you, Max_!

***

_Two days later_...

Ring, ring, ring... Ring, ring, ring...

Glancing at the blocked number, I huff, but answer the damn thing after sixteen missed or rather dismissed calls.

"Hello?" I practically growl.

"Samantha Walker?" A hyper voice belonging to a young guy who sounds like he is bouncing asks.

"Yeah?" I say with a sarcastic tone. I mean damn he called my number so he knows it's me, right?

"Oh, great," he laughs and then his voice lowers threateningly. "I need you to meet me at the gym downtown in fifteen minutes and come alone."

"Wait," I snap barely catching him before hanging up on the call. "Why in the hell would I do that and who the fuck are you?"

"Sorry," his voice is unyielding, "For your new assignment and I'm Kole De Luca."

_Oh, yeah_.

Begrudgingly after remembering that I was supposed to expect his call, I roll out of the bed and make quick work in the bathroom before driving down to Kole's gym. Walking in I speak briefly with the desk clerk who points me in the direction of Kole's office. Waiting patiently I watch a large muscle-head guy flirting with a cute and very young brunette stuffing boxing equipment into a large duffel bag. He smiles at her, they fist pound and then she walks away, leaving him behind to drool after her. He whips around and begins fast-walking this way. Another smile flashes on his face when he spots me. He comes into the office and plops down in the chair behind the desk.

"Sam?"

"Kole?" I laugh.

"The one and only," he winks while stretching out his arms for me to take a good look at him and I shake my head. _Good grief another flirt_.

"So, you're my contact for this new assignment?" He leaps out of his chair, rushing over to shut the door before taking his seat again.

"Sorry," he says. "Yes. So we each have several roles that we'll be playing. I understand you are good with computers." I nod. "Cool, okay so you'll be our techie and you will provide surveillance on our main objective. But that duty will only be until the newbie joins us."

"Newbie," I ask wondering how many people are on this small team before remembering Max's email mentioning a team leader, "Oh, the commander. Yeah, I forgot he's coming too."

"No," Shaking his head, he stammers, "Well, yes the commander, Rhys Bentley is coming, but that's not who I meant. Our last member won't join us until next spring. I believe you already know him."

Arching an eyebrow up, I wait for him to explain, but he's glancing down at his cell phone now distracted and misses my frustration. "Are you going to explain?" He glances back up at me with red cheeks from whatever he is looking at and I chuckle.

"Damn women," he growls slamming the phone down on the desk. "Sorry, Sam, uh...our other member is your brother, Marcus."

Stunned, I narrow my eyes on him and ask, "What are you talking about?"

He laughs. "Dang, maybe you two should talk more." _Oh, we'll talk plenty now. He intentionally kept this shit from me, and I'm sure he thinks he did it to protect me. Ugh_! "He joined up, we recruited him and he will be going to the academy. After that he's all ours," He shrugs and smiles wide, "So you'll need to get his cover set up soon. No one can know his connection with us." He leans forward with a serious look in his eyes. "It's a matter of life and death."

"Understood, but you'll need to clue me in on what the hell we're doing here, Kole. Max didn't fill me in on anything. He said that was your job."

"Max?" he asks his eyebrows pinching in tightly. "Who's Max?"

"The guy who recruited me," I say flatly. This guy's ADD is weirding me out.

"Uh, I don't know anyone named Max." He shrugs and continues on like it doesn't matter, "So we're monitoring Julia Madison Maxwell. Here's her dossier." He tosses me a couple of file folders. "She is a contact on this island for Dr. A." I nod intrigued already. "Her stepdaughter will be our second objective. All of _her_ information is in the folder underneath." He glances out the window behind me. "That was her I was speaking with when you arrived." I twist my head around finding no one standing there. "Breesan Maxwell," he adds with a small smile pulling at his lips. _Hmm, interesting. Maybe Kole has a bit of a crush on the young girl_. I continue listening to him go on about the covert government head quarters expectations of our unit and after several hours of planning and organizing, we decide that until our lead investigator, Commander Rhys Bentley, arrives with more details regarding our task we'll continue to meet here and brainstorm.

_Finally, I've got a job_! I've been going berserk. After being out of the Atlanta DTF for so long it actually feels kind of good to be getting back to work. These past months haven't been easy. At least now I will have something to focus all of my time on. The slow life, with your average daily fluff and filler, all while feeling numb, isn't my thing.
Chapter Seventy-Two

Arriving back at my condo, I notice Marcus' Jeep and a black motorcycle parked in my driveway. It looks like Morgan's Ducati, but something about it reminds me of my little black beauty that I abandoned back in Georgia. Finding them here together after everything that they've been through, fighting over some dumb broad they've both been screwing, I try to remember if I purchased Ibuprofen when I was on the pharmacy isle earlier. I grab my sack of groceries out of the trunk of my car and while clutching my house keys I walk up the steps. I turn the doorknob and find that it's already unlocked. Marcus knows where I hide my spare key so it's expected.

"Hello?" I call softly as I push the door closed with my heel. It's late so they may be asleep already.

"Sam?" Marcus yells back, "In the kitchen." _Good, we've got shit to talk about_!

After dropping my keys and purse on the table beside the door I walk down the short hallway leading to the back en route toward my brother's voice. He sounds like he's speaking to someone so I must be right, Morgan is here too. After a quick inspection on my way through my condo, I notice that everything is still in one piece. That's surprising.

"Hey idiots!" I announce entering the small space and my eyes move from Marcus' face in search of Morgan's, but I don't find him. Instead I find dark blue eyes narrowed in on me with a light curl upward on a pair of dark red lips that I am all too familiar with. "What the fuck?" I growl dropping my bags onto the table beside the doorway.

"Hey sis," Marcus chuckles, "I understand you know this guy?" I bob my head languidly like one of those little freaky bobble-head dolls with my eyes still transfixed on the man across the room, leaning casually with his backside against my sink. "Old boyfriend, huh?" I cut my eyes at Marcus and he stifles his laughter immediately.

"What are you doing here?" I ask trying to control my temper seeing him in my house. The memory of Kris' face, moments before she died, flashes in my mind. _He's to blame._

"I need to speak with you and it's rather urgent," Ethan says crossing his large arms over his chest and I gulp hard remembering how it feels to be enveloped in that tight embrace. He smirks like a real bastard aware of my discomfort. I pull myself out of my Blues induced haze quickly.

"It's nearly midnight," I counter almost unable to stop the growl and hoping not to tip Marcus off to who the unwelcome guy really is. "I think you need to leave."

"No, Doll," he smiles brilliantly now, "We need to talk." Turning to my brother he says, "Give us a minute?" _Motherfucker_!

"Yep," Marcus hops up and grins at me before leaving us alone. _Ugh_! _Traitor_!

After the front door closes I snap through gritting teeth, "What in the hell do you think you are doing coming to my house, Mr. Sloane?" _Intentionally, I use this name because I know he has daddy issues._

"I've already told you not to call me that." His eyes sparkle brightly and I roll mine. _He would probably prefer it over what I really want to call him right this minute_. He uncrosses his arms and stands up his full height. The bastard is totally intimidating, but I know that I could kill him easily. Sure he works out, but there's more assassin in my right thumb than his whole body.

"What do you want?" I beg trying not to let the whiney voice out. Crossing my arms, I ignore the whisper of my heart and pleas of my body. _Ugh_! I'm still so damn drawn to him and it disgusts me.

"I need to ask you one question," he says striding toward me. He captures my left hand, pulling it away from my body and running his thumb over the surgical scar on the inside of my forearm. His eyes flick down to the six inch reminder of the damage his lifestyle did to me. Even repulsed by the memories, I can't stop the tremor surging through me from his touch. I pull my arm away and step back removing myself from the kitchen. He smirks wickedly. The bastard knows what he's doing alright!

"One question? That's it and then you'll leave?" I ask narrowing my eyes on him in disbelief.

"Well..." He shrugs noncommittally.

"Uh, huh, that's what I thought." I turn around marching down the hallway in search of my phone or gun, whichever one I can find first.

"Wait, Angel," he demands catching up with me and spinning me around to face him. His right hand on my left shoulder drops to my hip and the other one wraps around me completely, drawing me against him tightly catching me off guard. I take in a deep breath and my heart soars at the remembrance of his heavenly smoke and whiskey scent mixing with our sex the last time we made love. He moves his arm from my back to tangle his hand deep in my hair and grasps it tightly so that he can tilt my head back.

"No," I whisper locking my eyes with his.

"Do you love me?" He whispers leaning his face in close to mine. My heart slams hard against my ribcage. I swallow, but with him tilting my head back so far to make me look up at him I struggle. I can't even take in air now because my lungs feel like they've taken a siesta. Tears sting my eyes and I place both hands on his chest to push away, but he tightens his grip on me. "Do you love me, Doll?" he growls narrowing his eyes on me and I shake my head. With the weak movement, a single tear slips down my cheek, betraying my strength. "Tell me," he demands squeezing me against him.

I suck in a deep breath and whisper disappointedly, "Yes."

His mouth crashes against mine and his left hand moves to cup my ass. He forces his erection against my stomach, and I gasp allowing him to slip his tongue between my lips. My whole world flips up on its ass end when he pushes me backwards against the wall. Both of his hands move up to the sides of my face before he pulls away from me.

"I know," he says sweetly, touching his forehead to mine. The silent tears slip down easier now. Reaching up, I grasp both of his wrists and pull moving away from him.

"Why?" I whisper turning my back, forcing away the wetness on my cheeks. "No! It doesn't matter," I correct. "I don't need to know anything. You can't be here and this can't happen." I glance over my shoulder. "I want you to leave."

"I can't leave, Doll," he counters walking up behind me and sliding his arms around my waist. "I'm in love with you, too." I feel defeated. My body slouches and my head tilts forward into my hand. I shake my head, but don't move away from him, because I can't. "Let me love you, Doll."

_That did it_. Now I pull away.

"Stop!" I snarl. Angrily, I force his hands off of me and spin around. "What the hell is wrong with you? I am not Angel. I AM A COP!" I punch each word harshly, "A cop who threw your ass in jail. How you got out is beyond me, but I'm sure it had to do with all of your filthy money." Smirking, he reaches a hand up to me, but I swat it away. "Don't you dare touch me and get the hell out of my house!"

He shakes his head and reaches for me again. "No. You love me." He says with a cute lopsided smile. "I'll never leave you and..." He playfully points a finger, "You will never leave me again either," he says dominantly and I laugh sarcastically at him trying to dictate my life. "I'm going to marry you, Doll."

My pulse stops. Literally, my heart isn't beating. My mouth drops open. My eyes bug out. The room's spinning, or is it tilting? Who the hell can tell when you're having a coronary? I am either dying or I'm in shock. _Breathe_ , in through the nose, out through the mouth, I force the life-giving air. I can't form a sentence. "Wha..." Hell, I can't form a word. Inhaling slowly, I blink rapidly and move my hands to cover my mouth wishing I had a brown paper bag handy.

"You are going to be my wife, Love," he says it again, like I didn't understand what he meant the first time.

Coming out of my Blues induced haze again, I snap crossly, "I understood you jackass." Then I mumble, "I just don't understand you. I'm confused."

He smirks, "Clearly."

"Shut up," I screech, moving further away from him. "I won't marry you. I don't even want you here."

"Oh, you will and yes, you do," he says smugly. He steps closer and draws me into his embrace, pushing away my flailing arms. I spin around and he takes advantage by pulling me against his hard chest.

"Let me go," I shout.

"No, listen to me first."

"No!" I stomp on his foot and he tightens his arms around me. "Fucking let me go!"

"Sam, if you will calm down I will, but until you hear me out I'm not going any damn where. Do you understand _that_?" he growls against my neck. My skin prickles and the vibrations make my body become a traitor too. I dissolve instantly.

Frustrated beyond anything I've ever experienced, I shout back, "Fine!"

"Fine?" He whispers kisses against my neck, and I feel his smile move across my sensitive skin.

"God," I huff, conceding. "Yes, fine." He hums completely pleased with my irritation and places several warm kisses against my ear before releasing me.

"Good, now sit. I believe I'm running out of time." He glances at the clock and smirks, pleased with me conceding. Curious, I peek over and see that it's nearly midnight.

"I'm up to 84000 seconds already," he says reaching for my hand and escorting me to the sofa. I sit down on the far end. He sits right beside me and scoops me up, placing me on his lap, and I sigh.
Chapter Seventy-Three

Lacing our fingers together, Blues draws my hand up to his warm lips and kisses the back reverently. "Sam, I love you and I have been in love with you for a while." He looks me in the eyes, communicating genuineness beyond the depths of blue shades. "There are some things you need to know and I'm sorry I couldn't explain it all to you before. But I'm here now and I'm not leaving. That's all that matters." His eyes lower to my lips and he leans in placing a tender kiss to them before looking back into my eyes again. "I'm sorry about your friend." I blink rapidly praying that I can hold onto my composure at the mention of Kris. I don't want to cry again. "I would have done anything to save her for you. I didn't even know she was there, Doll."

I shake my head. "Not now, please," I beg.

"Ok, Love," he says sweetly and then he smiles proudly. "I didn't get fired from the police department after getting caught stealing from a shipment. It was all a cover to get me inside the X'kapz and closer to Nelson." Tilting my head, I watch his eyes begin to sparkle. "Sam, just like you, at the time, I was working undercover to disband them, but for a different reason."

"What?" I ask hopefulness taking over my voice. A part of me prays that he is telling me the truth.

"I was working with Jude," his voice is thick with emotion, but he pushes through. "We were assigned to infiltrate the cartel and find out what we could about the plane crash that killed my parents and the other former members so that we could convict Nelson of their murders. I wanted to get here sooner, to tell you everything, but I couldn't break cover until last week." He sighs, "And you refused to listen to RD when he tried explaining what was going on. You're stubborn as hell, love." _Shit_ , I shouldn't have ignored Russ' and Granddad's attempts to talk with me about Blues.

"This is the truth?" My voice is barely a whisper and I nod my head hoping that he will mimic me to confirm it.

"Yes," he says smiling and nodding. "I'm still a cop."

"I'm sorry," I whisper wrapping my arms around his neck tightly.

"Why are you apologizing?" he asks pulling my chin up to look at him.

Shaking my head, I whisper, "For so much. I couldn't tell you the truth about me and I wanted to _so badly_. The night on the beach nearly ripped my heart out when you were sharing about your family. I'm sorry that I ran away from you after...after you told me that you loved me. For letting you think I was with Decks and Russ. I..I.." I inhale and exhale trying to calm myself, but it isn't doing a damn bit of good. Tears streak down my face and he wipes them away with his thumb. His hands come up to frame my face. My mind is reeling. Blues is good. He's a cop, a good guy and he's _mine_! "I love you, Blues!" I grab him and kiss him hard. Grasping the back of his head snuggly, I put everything into this kiss. This man! This man is my everything. He loves me. _Oh god he wants to marry me_? I pull away from him and stare into my favorite set of dark blue eyes.

"You want to marry me?" I ask sniffling back the tears.

"Oh god, yes," he growls. "I've been dreaming about you every night since you left me at the beach house. I can't be without you, Doll. I will go fucking mad if I have to spend one more day away from you." He kisses me violently. Our mouths move together like assailants struggling to beat the hell out of each other. I gasp when his hand drops to my breast and he squeezes hard. "Let me love you," he moans against my mouth like he is petitioning to the creator for approval.

"Yes!" I groan, needing and wanting the love of my life to love me like no one ever has before him.

Blues assists me with standing and then lifts me into his arms. "Which way?" he demands impatiently. I point toward my bedroom down the hallway. He carries me and places me down onto my feet at the side of the bed. "Before we do this promise me one thing." I'm so on fire for him I'll do anything he asks. Staring into his heated eyes filled with seriousness I nod while biting down hard on my bottom lip. "Keep your eyes open. And _please_ for the love of God face me when we make love this time. I _need_ to see you." I smile shyly feeling the redness stain my cheeks from my embarrassment. He knew what I was up to the whole time, but he let me get away with it. _Oh God I love this man_.

Self-consciously, I mumble, "I hate being in control in the bedroom."

His hands skim under my shirt, lifting it up and over my head. Warm fingers tickle around my back to unclasp my bra strap, slipping it off of my body. He smirks wickedly, "Oh, but you're so good at it." Thick, powerful hands belonging to the man I love with all of my heart cups my breast and he hisses from the contact. "Fuck, I missed you." I throw my head back and close my eyes at the sensations and he sweeps me into his arms. "You belong in my bed." Placing me in the center of the bed, he stands and peels off his clothes hastily before reaching over and removing the remainder of mine. "I wanted to tear them off of you again," he admits with a sly grin, twirling my lacy thong around his finger. "But I like peeling them off of you too." Crawling onto the bed, he spreads my thighs wide and settles between them. "Mmm, _my_ sexy little strip," he growls looking down at my hot entrance, before placing a kiss onto the top of my slit. So begins my ascension into my sex induced Blues' haze once again. "I'm out of my mind in euphoria every time I taste you, baby." I glance down at him devouring me and pant like a mad woman when his eyes flutter open to look back at me. "Those gorgeous gray eyes have held me captive from the first moment you looked at me." He's so fucking erotic and sexy.

"Fuck, Blues, that feels so good," I moan wildly while staring straight into his eyes and he smiles against my heat. My build up comes quickly, and as much as I want to explode, I stop him. "Come here," I beg. He licks me more before lifting his body and edging his way up the bed. "Make love to me, Blues." He lifts his hand to my face, tucking a feathery strand behind my ears.

"I will for the rest of my life, Sam," he promises before kissing me devotedly.

Automatically, my eyes drift closed from the amazing feelings and just from getting lost in the moment, but his deep growl brings me out of it quickly. I flick my eyes open to find him staring adoringly at me. The twitch of his hard erection nudges against the inside of my thigh.

"I'm taking you deliciously hard the first time and then I'll take you decadently softer each time after that until we are both utterly spent," he groans against the dip at the base of my neck and then trails kisses down to my tight nipple. He bites it hard while grinding his cock savagely against my center.

"Blues, oh God yes," I beg needing him to take me now.

Rising up on his knees, he grabs my left leg and wraps it around his hip. He snatches the pillow from under my head before arching my ass up off the bed and tucking it beneath me.

"No condom tonight," I whisper stroking my hand tenderly along his jaw line. His eyes, previously looking down at my heat, flash up to mine and a small, yet proud grin spreads across his lips.

"That is my fucking dream come true, Doll."

A ferocious roar rips from his throat as he slams hard into me. My insides clench with satisfaction devouring him greedily. Piece by piece my heart soars into a boundless utopia. His caress sizzles making me breathless. He slides out slowly before growling and thrusting deeper. Both hands cup my ass lifting me up higher as his rhythm become frenzied. Pushing, diving, and swirling his hips against my core sends my cravings into a wild vortex of rapture. His breathing is ragged while he holds me prisoner with his demanding stare. His longing for me during our year apart is revealed through his carnal consumption of me.

"Fucking come for me, Sam," he demands with raw heat and need. I implode with my eyes boring into his and his next sound is completely and utterly barbaric. He viciously cries out, "Oh fuck, baby, fuck yes!" His mouth crushes down onto my lips with a force that could shatter diamonds. The rawness of his desire mixes with his wild moans as he thrusts through the last of his orgasm brings me over the edge once again. I scream out for him as my body clings to his. "Sam," he breathes my name into the crook of my neck in the most angelic voice. "Sam, I love you."
Epilogue

After two fierce days of sexual decadence, Blues and I find that all we can do now is talk. The strength for moving anything except for our mouths is being reserved for later sensual playfulness.

"God, these sexy gray eyes," he whispers, kissing my eyelids, "They claimed me the first night you were at Holidays."

"Mmm," I moan softly. "I love your eyes too. I think about them all the time."

"Tell me, the night in the hot tub, what exactly caused the bruise on your side and the swelling on this luscious pout?" he asks touching his kiss tenderly to my lips.

"Lt. Stark at the training center handed me my ass that day. I couldn't tell you, and I hated that you thought Russ did it." I snort, "Because of your reaction, I thought that you were so mesmerized by me that you were the one who alerted the police about the transport and had him busted."

"I wanted to kill that little bastard for hurting you." he chuckles, "Actually, I wanted to kill all the bastards that constantly swarmed around you like honey. But, that last day when I saw you with Decks, caring for him in his bedroom after you walked away from me in Seaside, totally shredded my heart."

"What?" I ask feeling my own heart crush remembering how his body slumped when he left me with nursing Decks back to health.

"Yeah," he chuckles softly. "Attacus arrived in town just after I left you there and dragged my ass out for a drink. I stopped counting after six."

"I'm so thankful for what you both did that night, but don't ever show up on a hot scene, hostage or otherwise shitfaced again."

"Don't let me find you in the bed with Decks again and we're good," he says seriously studying me with narrowed eyes.

I laugh. "What are you talking about? I'll never see the bastard again."

"I wanted to tell you later, but now is better. Decks is under _my_ protection," he states calmly and the pulse in my neck thumps hard.

"What? You're lying," I shout pulling away from him, but he stops me by wrapping his leg over my hip.

"So Decks is in witness protection, yeah?" he says nuzzling against my shoulder, trapping me underneath his heavy frame. "A wrench was thrown into the whole damn scenario of moving his ass into a safe place," He glances up at me after placing a kiss to my shoulder and adds, "The agent that got tapped as the babysitter..." he points at himself with a frown bending on his lips, "He's now _my_ kid brother and he moved here with me."

"What?" I screech while shaking my head wildly. "You've got to be fucking joking. This is destiny's way of torturing me." Decks here can't be good. I have a feeling that he will make our lives a living hell–especially if he finds out that I'm with Blues.

Encasing me in his powerful arms, he presses his lips to my hair and whispers, "Ssh, I'm sorry, Doll. Knowing that we're doing this together makes me feel like destiny is on our side instead of fucking with us."

"We are doing it together, aren't we?"

"I can't face destiny without you, Doll."

"And I don't ever want to know what a future without you is like either, Blues."

My man is right. Destiny _is_ what brought us together. How can I be so pissed off at the only thing that could give me the love of my life? Yes, I lost a lot on my pathway toward finding true love, but I can't dwell on the negatives or I'll stay in a constant state of pain. Instead, I remember the good times and focus on the love I've experience through this crazy journey. I had a plan once, a solid future without anyone or anything so essentially important to travel with before him.

A tiny fortune cookie slip, I found tucked away in the ratty old backpack I used while undercover, reminded me that there is something greater controlling things, and He certainly doesn't need Samantha Walker's instructions on how to do his job. And apparently with rebels like me always stirring things up, He never gets a day off from saving my ass. _Divine intervention reprieves for no one when restoration is essential_ , Gran's recent words of wisdom drift through my mind, settling within my soul–feeling like a warm ray of sun on a frigid winter day.

Talking for the remainder of the night, Blues and I find that not only do we reveal things about ourselves easily with each other, but we literally can't keep our hands to ourselves. The sex is spectacular, but our tender caresses mean so much more. His acceptance of all my darkness, where the ugly demons thrive, makes me love him even more. He's even agreed to never calling me perfect again.

Speaking of fucked up, my new commander, Rhys Bentley...yeah, he's Blues. You guessed it. He is the not-so-lucky federal agent who got stuck with Decks, I mean Tyle Bentley, Rhys' kid brother. They're in witness protection for Decks, but Rhys was chosen to lead our small drug task force team in the hopes that we can end the debauchery of this new super-drug staking its claim on society.

Unfortunately for me and Rhys, with our roles in the DTF and their strict nepotism policy, we aren't allowed to work together if we're in a relationship. Being a couple around Kole and Marcus is forbidden. _But what they don't know won't hurt them_. I hate lying to my brother, but Marcus needs to think that Rhys and I used to have a relationship, explaining away the attraction so vivid between us.

Working together as a team with the backing we're getting deep within the government, we're all but assured a successful end to Dr. A and his poison. Hopefully, it will come one day very soon. Our first challenge is devising a plan to locate the crafty bastard before too many innocents fall victim to his destruction. I pray fate is on our side during this epic battle.

One week later...

"Sam?" Rhys calls from the bedroom.

"Yes, my love?" I reply while shoving my laptop into the leather case.

He strolls out of the bedroom wearing a charcoal pinstripe suit with a silver button down and white tie. My mouth waters at the intoxicating sight of my man and I quirk up my eyebrow completely puzzled.

"Babe," I pant lustfully and then pull myself together before asking, "Did you forget to tell me something?"

"What?" he asks nervously, his eyes growing wide like he's scared.

I laugh and say, "Either I'm a little under dressed for some secret rendezvous you have planned or you're way overdressed for someone who is supposed to be going to get the title for my new motorcycle, which I love by the way. Thank you babe."

He swallows audibly, but then chuckles while slipping into his coat. "I love seeing you wrapped around that little kitten. And I made reservations for dinner afterward." He smirks while waggling his eyebrows. "Put on that sexy little number that gets me hot." His smirk shifts to a wicked smile before drawing me in for a scorching kiss.

"Hmm," I moan against his mouth. "Or we could just stay here...and stay naked."

"Yeah," he groans happily stroking his tongue with mine. His eyes pop open, he covers his mouth to cough and clear his throat, and then rushes to correct himself, "No, no, we have to go. _Now_."

I sigh. "Okay, I'll go, but I need at least ten minutes."

"I'm feeling generous today," he bites down on his bottom lip and smacks my ass playfully before I walk into the bedroom, "you can have twenty."

Arriving at the municipal building in downtown Willow thirty minutes later, Rhys parks under a shade tree and as he turns off the ignition I notice a slight tremble in his hand. A siren wails in my head while a warning punches my gut. Anxiety brushes lightly against my instincts and I know adding everything together something is off.

I reach over capturing his hand into mine. "Goddammit, I can't take it another minute. Something has you rattled. Tell me whatever the fuck it is, now!"

Gradually, he turns facing me and his trademark I-am-sexy-as-fuck smirk flashes across his dark delicious lips before he says, "Get your sweet ass out of this car."

My mouth hangs open. "Really?" He actually expects me, Samantha Walker, to accept no answer as an answer. "Huh, I don't think so, Rhys."

"Doll, we're going to be late if you don't stop sulking because I'm going to bite that pouty lip and then do bad things to you in this parking lot." He chuckles when I blush and then for good measure he adds, "We may even go to jail." He waggles his eyebrows playfully.

I laugh at his silliness and ask, "Is everything okay then?"

"Get out," he repeats stepping out of the vehicle and walking around to my door. I glare up at him and then reluctantly accept his hand. Approaching the front steps of the courthouse, Rhys stops abruptly. "Wait," he says in a shaky voice that sets my nerves on edge, his eyes taking on a far off look like he's not here with me anymore. I glance back toward the parking lot searching for anything appearing out of place or suspicious.

"What's wrong?" I ask wrapping my arms around my waist protectively.

"Your love called to me," He faces me and his eyes latch onto mine. He pauses and I tilt my head, curious about why he's telling me this now. "I felt it like a solid beat on a base drum." He pats his hand rhythmically over his heart while his lashes flutter and halt, spreading into a crescent against his tan cheeks. "I closed my eyes and something like a whisper in the air made me look up, where I saw _only_ you." Blazing sapphire pierces into my eyes, and I become breathless when he replaces my hand with his, continuing our steady rhythm against his chest. "This is what _you_ do. You keep me alive with your melodic soul, Sam. It soothes me and makes every next breath sweeter." Lifting a hand to my face, his thumb strokes tenderly over my bottom lip and he sighs. "You, my love, are my time signature." Ironically, at this very moment my heart skips a beat. "A magnificent symphony of need, want and love reverberates us, Sam, for eternity." He steps close, drops his lips to brush against mine and whispers, "No one re-echoes me except for you." His words are beautiful, _perfect_ even, but something about this whole scene still has my nerves going berserk.

"Rhys, what's going on?" I lick my lips nervously, staring at his sexy mouth before glancing back up to his eyes that are locked fiercely onto mine.

"All this time, it has been you."

"All this time," I repeat softly and a little disbelievingly. Nodding, he presses his tender lips against mine pulling a passionate kiss that makes my legs grow weak and I wobble into him.

Softly building from somewhere in the distance All Blues by Miles Davis hums on the breeze. Reluctantly, I pull only my lips away from this amazing man, who somehow managed to steal away my heart, turning my head in the direction where the music is coming from. On the top steps of the courthouse a couple stands, waiting.

Inhaling sharply, I ask almost inaudibly, "Rhys, why are my grandparents here?"

He pulls me tightly against his chest once again, his hand lifting and wrapping around the back of my neck while his thumb strokes erotically against my now erratic pulse. His heady scent slams into me moments before he presses another enthralling kiss to my lips. Touching his forehead to mine, Rhys' eyes glisten with utter devotion and then he sighs so sweetly.

"We need witnesses, Doll."

...The End

Continue reading for an excerpt of Be All (All series, Book 1 – Breesan's story)

OMG! I love Sam's story, and all the crazy emotions that I suffered while writing this book came across in this tragic romance. I hope you leave this story satisfied, but wanting more from Willow Island. If you enjoyed reading this book, I hope you will consider leaving a review (links to follow) or recommending it so others can enjoy it as well. If you do post a review on Amazon <http://tinyurl.com/odsatlf> or Goodreads http://tinyurl.com/oaohut6 please contact me via email at mariedwathen@gmail.com

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Worth It All (Book #3, All series/Breesan)

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### Coming soon:

Worth It All (Book #3, All series/Breesan) Summer 2014

Risking All (Book #4, All series/Breesan) Fall 2014

All Our Love (Novel Grounds Anthology/No Details) March 2014 as a short.

No Details Spring 2015 as a novel

### BE ALL (All series, Book 1)

Marcus

Love will never be an issue for me. Permanently wounded through infidelity and family betrayal, as a result of loving others, I have no vacancy in my heart. Fuck the lot of them! Unconcerned with family obligations, my plans go beyond the small world of the damn Walker Corporation. Working for my family leaves me feeling like I'm looking for something more. I want my life to mean something.

Changing the world and making it better, leaving a positive legacy behind, and helping people, is just the meaningful life I'm living now. Joining the Joint Drug Task Force Division of the DEA last fall was the best decision I've ever made. Becoming the youngest member of our department and moving quickly into undercover work was no easy task. Strings got pulled, and at first they wouldn't budge. Typically, twenty one year old agents aren't brought in on cases the magnitude of this one, but in the end, the department amended their prior order and sent me to Willow.

I was happy for the distraction that work brings to my life because it will keep my focus exactly where it needs to be, on my goals. Pursuing the Gulf of Mexico Cartel back to my hometown has my already overprotective nature skyrocketing and on high alert. Protecting my family will be a priority, even if that includes my backstabbing twin brother, Morgan.

Currently I'm working on the inside with a contact that is one of the cruelest women I have ever met, a woman who would sooner slit my throat than turn against the drug boss she's currently having an affair with. I am constantly watching my back, because I'm not the only person on her crooked payroll and if she catches wind of my betrayal, it could end badly.

Consisting of my three closest friends, our team is small, but we're enough. According to our commander we are a collaboration of the best and youngest law enforcement officers that he's had the honor of working alongside.

Martial arts expert, Kole De Luca, is a four-year veteran Special Agent with the DEA. He's my closest ally in this undercover operation and my best friend.

Our commander, Captain Rhys Bentley is one of the meanest Law Enforcement Officers ever. He doesn't take shit off anyone. I vaguely remember meeting Rhys several years ago when he and Sam, the fourth member of our team, dated. They broke up soon after joining the team, abiding by the department's strict nepotism policy.

Supplying Intel is Sam's primary role and we depend on her for keeping our asses out of the spotlight as well. She's the most important member to me and her feelings reciprocate mine.

Returning home last month with a secure cover and forged credentials, I managed to initially remain undercover and go undetected as a police officer. For my family's protection, I can't have those I care about discovering my current employment status in this unit or my security detail.

The Witch, as I like to refer to her, is deeply integrated in the Gulf of Mexico Drug Cartel, led by the infamous Dr. A., who has eluded the DEA for nearly twenty years. He has been abusing Willow Island, using it as his personal portal to the mainland and supplying locals with the newest man-made drug, Ryske. Although, there isn't much documentation on every side effect caused by Ryske, at this time, the minimal information we do know is that it is a combination of well-known illegal substances, both depressants and stimulants, mixed with other undetermined ingredients. It is rumored that it has left users with some peculiar mind altering symptoms, both temporary and permanent. Ryske is quickly earning its name throughout the Southeast after a rash of deaths from just the smallest amount of overindulgence.

No positive identification has ever been made on the bastard drug lord, and that's where I come in. My role is to get close to The Witch, work alongside her as security, gain her trust, and then hopefully get in on the operation. Jeopardizing not only losing my job, but greatly increasing the potential of dying or losing someone close, I can't have her finding out about my involvement with the police force. This is my main motivation for staying in character. Nothing and no one can distract me from being successful and assisting my team on bringing down scumbags like Dr. A and his minions.

My secondary job, which came down directly from one of the department heads acting under former A.G Reno, is keeping the girl living with The Witch safe, by any means necessary. Rumor has it that the girl's protection is a personal favor to said department head and her welfare is of utmost importance. It's unnecessary to commit twenty-four hour coverage on her at this time. Besides, with a team this size we just don't have the manpower. Those orders changed today.

During last night's surveillance, Sam overheard a confirmation order that the girl is to be injured, but not killed. The terminology, "Not yet", bothers me most. With a bulls-eye on her back, her life hangs in the balance and my mission is finding her to prevent the assassin's success. The girl eluded me near the city center today and I hope I'm not too late.

Tonight at the very last minute, I decided, against my better judgment to attend my twin brother, Morgan's homecoming party. I hadn't seen Morgan in almost year and, don't anticipate a heartwarming reunion, considering our last encounter ruined our relationship beyond repair.

If it weren't for work purposes I certainly wouldn't be here. However, the guise of restoring my relationship with him presented itself and became the perfect cover story. A damn good guise it is too because I will never trust my bastard of a brother again. Morgan is a manipulator. He exploits everyone and every situation for his own gains. He's selfish, and absolutely no one is worthy enough to change that fact. Morgan pursues everything I have desired with a purpose to possess or destroy. Making it his mission, he plays a major role in annihilating every connection that I hold dear, including the relationship with my parents.

I can't really blame Morgan completely for the shitty relationship between my father and myself. Dad managed to screw it up after demanding I come on board with the family business, which I refused. Not seriously understanding how important that was to him, my rejection to comply was nothing in comparison to his meltdown after discovering the potential for Sam and me. With only the excuse of wanting me to remain in good standing with the family business, he disagreed with mine and Sam's general involvement.

Complicated by the strict secrecy of this assignment, our relationship goes deeper than my parents could ever want. However, my overhearing a heated conversation between my father and mother about Sam is the heart of our dysfunction. It severed our connection without any potential of restoration. Hiding it is imperative, because the ones I love will be destroyed by a long time betrayal. I could never hurt Sam by telling her, so I will take it to my grave.

The things both my father and brother have done are unforgivable so it's with valid doubts that I suppress my hostility and force myself to be the better man, a truly selfless act on my part. Is it an attempt to put some of our past behind us?

Fuck that shit!

With most everyone from the island attending tonight, I expect her here as well. After turning over my car keys to the valet, I enter the castle and take a few minutes to appreciate its true beauty. Working closely with The Witch, I have been here on numerous occasions as her bodyguard. Although I haven't seen a potential threat during any of her secretive meetings, she insists on having me escort her. Being here for the first time at night without her is unusual, and I notice a strange sensation hit me as I walk through the front doors. I'm already on alert for the potential of making contact with Dr. A., but this may be a new threat – possibly the assassin.

Diligently scanning the front ballroom for my beautiful little target, I carelessly allow the most exquisite woman approach me from behind. Rocked to my core, her touch and audacious flirting startles me. Instinctively, I grab her and yank her petite body into the darken corner of the front entrance. Immediately, enchanting, steel eyes take me prisoner, harness the rhythm of my heartbeat, and then bound my universe to hers. An unusual current that seems to travel from her to me briefly throws me off kilter. It almost feels like déjà vu awareness, but I don't recall meeting this phenomenal creature. And believe me, she is fucking unforgettable.

Holy hell, where has she been all my life?

Not wanting her to think I'm a douche bag for gawking at her, I manage to avert my attention away from her eyes, but fall victim to a tempting, candy colored pout. A sublime shiver rushes all over her perfect figure and I grin thinking that I did this to her. In a wild frenzy, I grasp her by the arms when I recognize that her body is weakening.

Did she just fucking get lightheaded because of our frozen stare or could she see in my eyes how captivating I find her?

Fuck no, that's wishful thinking, dumbass. Women don't shiver or pass out at your touch.

Distracting my mind from such bullshit, I wink with a smile and become conscious of her asking if I'm waiting for her. Some internal, distant voice affirms that I've been anticipating her for an eternity. Hoping that she receives my words as charismatic and not sinister, I angle down to the petite beauty's face, confessing that I have been waiting my entire life. Momentarily dazed, I watch as my breath lightly blows around wisps of her silky dark hair and anticipate a mirroring grin, but instead my reward is an intensely responsive reaction. She fucking moans! Before I can react to the sexy little sound, her body sways and I move swiftly, catching her and balancing her upright.

In the darkness, her eyes shift and a wild panic alerts me that she's making a break for it. Turning, she tangles in her too damn tall heels and begins falling. Before I allow anything to happen to her I seize her body, crushing her against my chest. Seeing the front of her clearly from this angle, I lose myself in the bounce of her breast with each laboring intake. Her dress dips low in the front and her cleavage is right there in my face. A throbbing begins behind my zipper. Another soft moan from those pouty lips and I can't deny any longer that she's turning me on. But are her physical reactions because she's getting hot too?

Yes Baby, I want you hot for me.

An urgent need to possess her consumes me and my arms instinctively wrap solid around her precious body. Pulling her against me, my face encounters her dark mane and I must smell it. Taking a deep breath, I struggle to keep my shit together because she fucking smells like heaven.

"Damn Baby, you smell fucking incredible," slow and raspy, I manage to speak. While holding my woman as she clings to me, and I slide my lips lightly against her ear like it is a natural maneuver. Needing access to her neck, I gently brush aside the feathery strands.

I've got to get these damn stray hairs out of my way because I need to taste her.

Closing my eyes, I move my hand away to revel in her scent. Pulling my hand against her flawless cheek, a smile breaks across my face when I see the flush and feel her warmth.

She blushes for me. "Ah hell, I love putting this pink in your cheeks."

I'm going out of my fucking mind. I need more of her now.

Hearing her whimper, my hand slowly slides along her jaw line. Dominantly, I wrap my large hand around her delicate, thin neck. Feeling a twitch with our sensual dance, I gather her fully into my arms. Heat from her sizzling back warms through my shirt as I grind into her ass once. Overwhelmingly in love with our contact, and aware that I'm about to come apart, I try to control my breathing against her hot flesh.

I can't take much more of just barely touching her. Can she feel how much I want her?

I growl deeply, "Damn Baby." Lobbing her head over my shoulder, she grants permission and I take the sweet offering. My, fucking lord. However, stealing is what it feels like when I barely restrain myself from biting. Instead, I only graze my lips and teeth. Digging her hand into my hair and scratching her nails against my scalp, she demands that I concede ownership of my body over to her.

I sense she's not brazen, but there's no doubt she's harboring a wanton minx. I feel her backside cleavage trussing my full length and I have never felt anything more amazing. I want nothing more than to rip her silly little dress to shreds, but realizing where we are I must contain my desire for now. Swirling air around us clears the heady fog as I nuzzle against her redden flesh. Moaning again, I'm mindful that she could easily be mine and I growl needing to mark her as such.

Unable to leave my hands resting, I lift them from around her waist, edge up her ribcage, and then graze the underside of her full breast. They appear heavy with need. Seeing them straining through her dress and thrusting out, a strong need to sample their juiciness makes my mouth drool at the promise of untouched sweetness.

She feels incredible in my arms and my mind is spinning out of control.

She pants, "Please."

I snap out of the dizziness at her words and scan for a place to take her away from prying eyes. Noticing the empty balcony, I grab her hand and can't move fast enough. Touching her soft arm and seeing the tiny bumps form, at just a graze from my knuckles, I can't help wondering what her reaction will be to a more aggressive manipulation. Wickedness fills me as I stroke my thumb in the bend of her arm, but become entrapped by my own evil scheme. Thrilling doesn't describe what she makes me feel. Needing her body against mine now, I ask her to dance. Crushing her to me, I see how reluctant she is as she cautiously places her hands against me. But damn when she finally does, I become lost in her touch.

Dancing on the balcony just outside of the ballroom even momentarily, I can't explain or understand the familiarity, and dammit if I have ever been more intrigued by a woman before. She is beautiful and her perfect body calls to, reacts to, and molds perfectly into mine, as if she is made for me. After a couple of dances, it actually feels like she fills the emptiness in me. It's as if she is my other half.

Complete

I am thoroughly fascinated with her, and it's more than just her good looks. She speaks to my soul, in some form of a whispering echo sent out only to return back to envelop me and my entire world, knocking it off its foundation. All I want is to keep holding her all night, longer if possible. Afraid this is another one of my damn dreams, I refuse to take my eyes off of her for more than a few seconds. Remembering my recent fantasy, I groan thinking about all the ways I took another equally beautiful woman. The dream is of a beautiful, but forbidden woman and I'm not allowed to touch her. She's within my reach, but all I can do is graze her skin with my fingertips. I painfully stretch my arm and hand toward her in desperate need for contact, but each night I am unsuccessful.

Tonight on this balcony with her I feel like my dream woman is real. If I could take my damn eyes off the beauty in my arms for a second I could check the area leading onto the balcony and surrounding us to see if we are still alone. I've heard several couples venture out just long enough to confirm the chill in the air. Luckily, the temperature deters them from joining us. From the vantage point of the entryway, it would be nearly impossible for them to see us, hidden in the dark shadows. Now if I could only guarantee, for her sake, that no one would see us.

My nightly fantasies begin to consume my mind.

Within five seconds I can have her fan-fucking-tastic dress draping over the handrail, along with her hands, and wrap her in my arms from behind, then indulge on the feel of her perfect breasts. While I press hard against her ass with my rapidly growing cock, I take hold of her hands with one of mine and brace her against the railing.

Using my mouth, I slowly trace along the outline of her decadent body, starting at the nape of her mouth-watering neck: kissing, sucking, and licking. After giving it enough devotion, she is writhing and melting under my tongue. Moving my hands along her soft curves, I pay special attention in discovering her favorite areas. Those spots will be rewarded with tweaking and teasing, sure to drive her mad with desire that reaches all the way to her toes.

Stopping at those gloriously delectable toes, I taste and nibble until I have her growling my name through clenched teeth. I nudge her sensitive flesh with my nose and mouth back along the same path until reaching her face. Turning her head slightly, so that she's looking over her bare shoulder, I devour that perfect mouth of hers, savoring and taunting with my tongue. Our tongues move as seductively as our bodies on this balcony.

Finally, I allow her to touch me. Spinning her around, I'd force her back against the railing. As she grips tight to my shoulders, I lift her onto my hips. Completely enthralled in our new connection, she releases my shoulders and drapes her head back. In this position, I give her more pleasure than she's ever experienced.

Inserting this irresistible woman into my nightly fantasy makes me smile and I know taking her like that will leave me completely serene. She is mesmerizing and I'm not sure one sample would be enough. I fear that the need to consume her will arise again and again.

Fuck. I'm seriously losing my shit. I'm supposed to be doing a job tonight, but I've let her distract me from finding the girl I'm supposed to protect. What the hell am I thinking?

I want her. I know that with one taste of her on my lips, I will be corrupt and unable to get my needs quenched by another. Only this goddess will be able to please me. She is a wet dream come true right here in my arms. But fuck she seems too innocent for an act like that on a night like this one.

Awakening from my degenerate thoughts, I remember why she's here tonight but I can't bring myself to destroy this perfect moment by asking her how well she knows my brother. I need to leave her, find my contact and do my damn job.

FUCK! How do I walk away from her? I manage to string together a few words that could be considered a sentence, but she has captivated all of my control and I lose myself to her. I'm a fucking mess in her embrace.

"I think we should get back inside. It's getting late and I really have to get up early in the morning," she whispers unconvincingly and shudders slightly. The combination earns her an ecstatic smile from me.

She's only saying this because she thinks it's what I want to hear. Oh Baby you couldn't be more wrong. If she only knew how overwhelming my need is to hold her all night, she would run from me.

I can't do this.

Thinking about releasing her causes my blood to pound in my ears and adrenaline rushes through my system. It's dizzying and before fainting, I haul her against me. With my mouth so damn near hers, I smell her sweet, minty breath and feel the heat on my lips. Dropping my gaze to her mouth, my gut tightens with a lustful hunger. In an attempt to be discreet, I twirl her away from me and release the breath that was crushing my chest.

My words come out as a moan, "I..." Dammit, I try to find the breath that she has siphoned from the first moment we met, but my body is on fire for her and my oxygen has burned out. Sam's face suddenly flashes across my mind and I remember that I must deny myself from distractions, and this woman is the ultimate distraction.

Frustrated, I say abruptly, "Let's get you back to your friends."

I'm shaken and the glint in her eyes reveals that she just might be aware of how much power she holds over me. Before she can run away, I possessively place my hand against her lower back, guiding her inside the castle. Once back inside Morgan's extravagant array, I await her directions. Truthfully, blatant sexual attraction aside, I've enjoyed her company. Until this second I never thought to ask her name, but now I am eager to learn it and all that I can about my fantasy woman. Nothing prepares me for the reality of what I discover.

"There are my friends." Smiling at them, she turns, catching me gazing at her.

Glancing up at the group a few feet away from us, stress begins to seize my body when I recognize that it's Tristan and Anna whom she's indicating. Oh Shit!

"You're here with Tristan?" I ask surprised and nearly breathless.

It was her all along, the girl, Breesan.

"Yes, of course I am. What's the matter with you?" She's confused, but it's clear that she thinks I am Morgan.

"Sorry Baby, of course you're here with Tristan. I need to tell you something before we get to the table." Urgently halting our steps just a few feet away from them, I rush to explain the twin thing, but Tristan spots me with her and stalks toward us.

"Sure, OK."

Staring directly into my eyes with intensity of someone disappointed, she wrings her hands with obvious nervousness. Is she afraid? Her distress makes me worry that she will be upset or possibly hurt with my revelation. I have no choice except to tell her because she is going to know in two seconds either way. Tristan's intense glare warns that he going to bust this conversation wide open.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Whipping around, I look passed Breesan to find Morgan standing close and he is pissed. A cute young blonde trails behind him and seems equally as angry.

"I said, 'what the hell are you doing here Marcus?" And why are you holding my date?"

Looking back, I see Breesan staring between us, confusion staining her lovely face. Angrily she narrows her eyes, glaring from Morgan to me and then back again. Pulling her hand away from me, she clutches it against her chest and I feel a strange sense of loss. I step closer, needing the contact back, but she retreats to Tristan where he secures her behind him possessively. All I can see is – red.

Mine

"I'm sorry," I offer honestly. "I didn't know you were his date."

Morgan approaches her, but she tucks further behind Tristan and instant relief floods me knowing that she isn't only turning against me.

"Did he hurt you? What's wrong?" Morgan inquires glaring bitterly at me.

"What's wrong?" She barks, her pleasant mood shifting instantly, pissed off by his patronizing. "Well unless I'm crazy, there are two of you standing here and it is bullshit that no one could tell me, the date, how fond you two are of the old 'Bait and Switch,'" Her eyes jump from me to Morgan and she stabs him with intense loathing, "Ha, ha, and little ole me is your latest target. You guys are a riot and I'm a fool. Well done boys," she growls, clapping her hand mockingly and glaring between us. "Tristan, take me home!" She spits out, moving to stand in front of him and folding her arms over her chest.

"Breesan, it's my fault," Tristan admits, taking her hand.

Bewitched by the mention of her name, it is as original and exquisite as her, I look again, locking my gaze with hers and realizing that she is indeed Breesan. God, she looks more beautiful than ever; not that she wasn't perfect before, but tonight she's truly indescribable.

"I should have told you that Morgan has a twin brother, but honestly I didn't expect him to be here." Turning toward me, Tristan demands, "Why didn't you let one of us know you were back in town Marcus? All of this bullshit could've been avoided."

He releases her and relief washes over me. Anna moves quickly to take his place beside Breesan, snaking an arm around her shoulder while whispering in her ear. I know I should answer my cousin, but I remain trapped by hooded, gray eyes and really I'm unwilling to look away from her.

"I want to know what the fuck you are doing here in the first damn place. You always have to be the center of attention. Don't you?" Morgan spits out with contemptuous ridicule. Unbelievable. He's trying to embarrass me. I guess some things never change. "And let's get one thing straight right now," he stalks up to me, serious, and with his body drawn tight, acting like he's ready to fight. "Breesan is MY date, so don't get any ideas."

He emphasizes the word 'my', calling forth a rumble deep in my chest and everything in me screams, MINE!

My eyes have not left hers yet and she's the only person I want to give answers, but it won't happen. She's running from me, I can see it in her protective stance. Our friends become suspiciously quiet and I'm not sure if anyone has spoken to me, or if they're waiting for my response.

She walks straight up to me with her demands. "Do you know who I am and that I'm Morgan's date tonight? Are you screwing with me or is this a simple misunderstanding?"

She relaxes as she moves closer, unless that's just my imagination. Stretching her hand out, she keeps it low, as if she's waiting for my acceptance before reaching further. Anxious but wanting to be honest with her, I inhale deeply, close my eyes, and rub the back of my neck.

"No, Baby, I had no idea you were here with my brother. I'm sorry about the confusion, but I won't apologize for the way we met, or what happen afterward."

I smile seductively at her, and she reacts as I expect, by stepping even closer. Only separated by mere inches, I drop my hand to reach for hers when suddenly a panic flashes through her eyes and she's pulling away from me. Morgan has his hand firmly tugging her by the shoulder and I instantly tense all over.

I step forward, reacting to his hand on what my body now recognizes as mine. "Get your fucking hand off her Morgan," I growl, not understanding why I have become so possessive of her. Before I can reach him, she shrugs out of his grip.

Just as she moves, a smaller set of hands grab her, tugging her away, "Really? All this macho crap is stupid. I'm over all this pissing on my territory business. So let's either sit or go home, please," Anna interrupts with a weird laugh. "Do you want to sit Breesan?" Breesan nods.

Anna takes her hand and leads her over to their table. Breesan swings around and claims the first seat she reaches. Defiantly, she crosses her arms and legs, looking defensive, and yet, I can tell she's hiding desire.

Letting my gaze roam over her, my heart swells with an unfamiliar feeling when I notice how petite she is, but in that dress with those heels, her legs appear to go on forever. Finding myself getting hard at the length of the slit running up her thigh in the dress, I quickly move my gaze up the length of her legs, along her sumptuous curves, finally stopping on enthralled, smoldering eyes.

A crowd gathers upon witnessing our exchange and draws my attention. I glance around the group and notice that the sexy blonde with Morgan is glaring at him, but his focus is on totally Breesan.

Strolling over and stopping mere inches from me, Morgan glares intently, "I think you should go," he demands.

Refusing to let him feel empowered, I nod sternly, but silently we exchange a familiar look. Understanding that nothing else will be said, I grin with the knowledge that we will revisit this and we'll deal with it our way.

Grinning, with what appears to be satisfaction, he strolls over to Breesan and takes the empty seat next to her. Deep in conversation with Anna, she pauses briefly, lifting her eyes to stare intently at me. As Morgan leans in to whisper something to Breesan, I hear the forgotten blonde huff and watch her storm away, her heels clacking out an angry sound. Apparently he had entertainment while Breesan was with me on the balcony.

This is interesting.

Looking at Tristan I force down the growl of possessiveness, "I'm not dealing with his bullshit tonight. We can meet up tomorrow."

He hugs me solid. "Sounds good, I'll be at the police department before six a.m. Stop by when you get a chance. I'm taking the girls home since all the fun has been sucked right out of the night. Glad you're back, Mac Daddy." I shake my head at his playfulness and how easily we fall into a comfortable routine that we've enjoyed from childhood.

"Thanks Bubba, I'll see you tomorrow, but right now I need to speak with Breesan," I demand. He peers at me sideways and then nods an affirmation.

Pausing before he walks away, he asks solemnly, "Is there something going on Mac?"

"I'm not available to be with her Trist so don't worry. She's not on my radar." Shaking my hand, he accepts my promise.

Tristan politely interrupts the deep discussion between Breesan and Anna, asking her to grant my request for a private talk. Awaiting her decision, I notice Morgan is giving his undivided attention to the other side of the room. Allowing my eyes to follow his gaze, I spot a perturbed blonde shooting daggers back at him before stomping away. Their focus broken, he turns and scowls at me, missing the concerned look Breesan flashes him. After speaking with Tristan, she makes her way over and I offer her my elbow, returning us to the balcony.

"Breesan, I want to apologize for confusing you tonight," Reaching up out of instinct alone, I place my hand on her cheek. The warmth of her soft flesh undoes me. Resolutely, I draw in a breath, straighten my back, and look at her eyes, not allowing those pink full lips that beg to be sucked and licked distract me. Dropping my hand away from her lovely face, "I swear I had no idea you were my brother's date, but like I said earlier, I don't regret spending the evening with you."

I take a small but significant step back. Noticing my intentional retreat, she shifts her demeanor accordingly. The familiar guarded woman appears suddenly, and there is no mistaking her self-preserving posture. It's good knowing she's tough because what I have to do is painful. After all this time, it never occurred to me that there could possibly be anything between us. I would have done a better job avoiding her if I had known, and what if she is feeling something similar to what I am? God it sickens me to think I might crush her with lies, but it's unavoidable. Jeopardizing her, the team, and other innocent people is not an option. Whatever this is with Breesan was not in the fucking deal when I signed on for this job.

"Breesan, I'm not going to lead you on. I don't do girlfriends." I lie, "I don't date, I don't call, and I don't meet parents. I have sex and I damn sure don't cuddle afterward," Her pout displays disgust, "It's not illegal. Nobody gets hurt and it's usually free, so why not? But that's not you and it won't be us. I can't explain what we were feeling earlier but I don't want...anything." Finishing, I see the pain flash briefly deep within her darken gray eyes – darkening with fury.

"You know what? That's good, no it's actually great," she corrects. "Actually, I was afraid you were going to say something else, but don't worry Marcus, I don't want you. You really don't owe me an explanation. I don't even care so if we're done here...I'm going back to my date." She locks her jaw and stares as if daring me to dispute her.

"Fair enough," I nod, appalled by words while my body betrays them. The hardness has my full attention now, but I'm letting her go.

"Good night Marcus," she whispers turning and walking toward the doorway of the castle, back to Morgan.

"Good night," I announce, regretfully acknowledging the end of us.

Twisting around on my heel, I refuse to look back because I know that if I steal even one small look at her and see hurt, I won't be able to keep from taking her in my arms and kissing that pain away. Realizing now that I didn't kiss her, I feel cheated knowing I'll never get to taste those sweet lips.

Ever

Locating Breesan at the party, I make my contact at the castle and call in the information to my commander. Satisfied that she is safe for the evening with Tristan, I relax. These new feelings for this woman have me questioning my entire involvement in this whole damn case. I wasn't even supposed to meet her. I didn't recognize her when she approached me dressed the way she is tonight. But damn, I've never been so turned on by a woman's back than I was while touching hers tonight.

How the hell am I supposed to do my job and stay the fuck away from her? Anticipating a job free of distractions from this point on is fucking unrealistic. I just need to find a way to keep my distance. I'm sure Sam can help me out with that. I won't risk blowing my cover.

I just can't ever catch a damn break

Leaving the castle, I call my boss to advise her on the details of tonight's party. If she discovers what transpired between her stepdaughter and me before I have a chance to come up with a cover, she will be unruly. Better to cut that head off before the snake strikes. I call The Witch.

"Hello Mrs. Maxwell."

"Marcus. Do you have information for me?" she purrs, making my body to shiver from repulsion.

"Breesan was at the party tonight." Not positive about the specifics of my details for her tonight, I don't offer any extra information. Considering the threat, I remember there was a man working the bar that seemed very engrossed in Morgan. Could it be that he was interested in Breesan – enough to want to kill her?

"Marcus! Did you hear what I said?" she snaps. Vaguely I hear her say that I need to pick her up in the morning, but I don't respond fast enough so she yells at me again.

"Yes ma'am, I understand. I will see you in the morning."

Breesan fucking Maxwell has wrecked my whole damn world. Everything in me is demanding that I stay as far away from her as I can get. Given my dual role with surveillance on her, for The Witch as well as the team, I pray our contact will remain at a distance.

Climbing into my Jeep, I lean my head back against the headrest and scrub my hand roughly over my head, forcing it through my hair. Slowly dragging it back down my face, I inhale deeply and her sweet scent assaults me. I must have rubbed some of her perfume from her back onto the sleeve of my coat. Purposely, I slide my nose along the length of the arm, remembering how I held her securely in it just an hour ago. Now I need a fucking cold shower.

I groan loudly, "I want her so fucking bad."

END OF EXCERPT. I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek at just some of the sexiness and drama you will get in the first book of the All series. Get you copy on Amazon, Smashwords or Barnes and Noble. Also available, All This Time (All series, Book 0.5 Sam's Story). Download your copy and get a back-story on Dr. A, Ryske, and find out just how truly badass Samantha Walker really is, and then you'll be all caught up for Worth It All (Releasing mid-spring 2014)
About the Author

New Adult Author of the All Series, Marie Wathen is a wife, mother of two and a Lola (her version of grandmother). When she isn't writing, her other career is on the nightshift. Marie is a fourteen-year veteran dispatcher at her local Sheriff's Office. The SO is where she met her husband Barry, a patrolman. Born and currently living in central Alabama, she enjoys a serene life in the country, but lives for the excitement of traveling to large cities.

Besides writing, Marie loves reading, traveling, and family time that includes southern home-cooking and Italian feasts. Although Marie has been a storyteller her entire life, Be All is her first publication. Marie's genre includes, but is not limited to, Romantic Suspense. She is currently collaborating on a Romantic Paranormal Thriller that will release in 2014. Also, look for No Details, releasing as a short story in the Novel Grounds Anthology, All Our Love in March 2014, and then rereleasing as a full-length novel in spring 2015.

I love connecting with readers who enjoy my writing. If you want to join Marie's Mafia Street Team, contact me for information through email, facebook or twitter. Also, look for me at signings all over the country. I can't wait to meet you all.

Facebook: Marie Wathen Author www.facebook.com/MarieWathenAuthor

Twitter: @mariewathen

Email: mariedwathen@gmail.com

Goodreads: <http://tinyurl.com/mogy6y6>

### Available:

Be All (Book #1, All series/Breesan) <http://tinyurl.com/prkd995>

All Is Lost (Book #2, All series/Breesan) <http://tinyurl.com/qjpwhd8>

All This Time (Sam) <http://tinyurl.com/odsatlf>

Worth It All (Book #3, All series/Breesan)

Signed copies can be ordered just by sending an email to mariedwathen@gmail.com

PAYPAL ACCEPTED

### Coming soon:

Worth It All (Book #3, All series/Breesan) Summer 2014

Risking All (Book #4, All series/Breesan) Fall 2014

All Our Love (Novel Grounds Anthology/No Details) March 2014 as a short.

No Details Spring 2015 as a novel

Goodreads: <https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7075309.Marie_Wathen>
Acknowledgments

This book wouldn't have been possible without the support of certain individuals, and it never would have made it to publication without some special people reading it, giving me invaluable advice and great encouragement.

My gratitude to the following:

Readers, I am forever grateful that you gave my book a chance.

Barry, Kayla, Kaitie, and the Kyles: I love you Forover (inside joke), more than all the words, and having your support trumps everything <3

Auderia DeStafino, again thank you for keeping me sane when the crazy shit surfaced, for loving it, for dealing with me, for coffee time, for great ideas, for blog takeover, for traveling because of my books and for begin one amazing friend. I love you always! And to Devan Rhayne, for continuing to think that I'm the coolest. I again think you're fabu too!

My sistas! Barbara Gonzalez, Loretta Barks, Paula Price, Lisa Carr, Karen Martin, Debra Good, Krystle Foster, and especially thank you Huldah J. Smith (for letting me use your name for Sam's cover job).

My guys! D. Black, J. Forrest, M. Reebals, M. Bishop for your colorful additions to my scenes. Stay safe fellas!

To my big, loud Italian family: Thank you DeStafinos for all the special moments and stories that will live on in my heart. Miss you Uncle Phillip <3

MY BETAS! Heather Terranova Armstrong, Laura Barcenas, Jennifer Persianni-Coates, Merilyn Dignum, Venture Cecena, Angela Pratt, Simone Nicole, Sara Kinsella. Thank you for tolerating the horrible grammar, embarrassing spelling mistakes, the pain in the ass revisions, letting me harass you with tons of questions and giving me the guts to publish another book. Your friendship is priceless <3

My Kick Ass Pimpsistas! Angela (I Feel the Need, the Need to Read), Breezy (Breezy BeautyandBooks), Ty (Momma's Secret Book Obsession), Tonya (Turnthe Page), Shawn (Dauntless Indies), Megan (Novell Grounds), Raquel (For The Love of Books), Kathy (Panty Dropping Book Blog), Jovana (Rumpled Sheets Blog) Kirsten (Ramblings of a Book Lunatic), Claudia (I love booknerds), Jaclyn (NWA Gossip Girl), Jackie (BookWhisper), Philomena (2 friends, promote your books Group), Stephanie (Headtripping Books) Kristin Marie Author, Amanda (Crazy Cajun Book Addicts), Staphanie (Headtripping Books), Angie's Reading Dungeon, Jennifer (Jen's Book Reviews), Amanda (EReading Made Free), Laura Barcenas, Becky (Pimpslapped)...Oh, I hope I didn't forget anyone... I cannot tell you enough times how important you all are to me–it is just so much more than two little words like Thank you can cover. Without you supporting and sharing, I would still be talking to myself on a lonely Facebook page. You all have my highest respect and eternal friendship. I thank you! xo

To my editor: Toby Joiner, thank you for doing a wonderful job and for loving the series.

To my cover artist: Arijana Karcic, with Cover It! Designs, thank you for another stunning book cover. You're marked as a badass in my book for eternity!

To my teaser guru: Jacob with Design by Jacob Daniel Parish, I love the steamy graphics for Sam & Blues

So many Indie Authors inspire me daily through the interwebs that I can't name each of you, but if we've ever had a conversation you should count yourself in this form of appreciation. I do this because you did it first and because of your words, both written and encouraging. Rachel Higginson, again I thank you for inspiring my writing with the Star Crossed series–it alone launched Breesan's story.

To all the Facebook & Twitter friends, thank you for liking, retweeting, commenting, sharing, encouraging, buying and loving BE ALL, ALL IS LOST and then begging for more adventures on Willow Island. I am beyond blessed because of each of you and I adore you all. I read, laugh and sometimes cry reading each of your Amazon and Goodreads reviews. Bless you for taking time out to honor me.

Thank you especially to my God for this life, these and all the other unmentioned characters and storylines, both real and fictional, that you created and brought into my life.

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