One of the most common things that you'll
see in people when they're anxious is they
bounce their legs up and down, right?
So some people are just habitual bouncer.
It's something that they commonly do.
But as people tend to get more comfortable
with each other, they'll slowly stop.
So one of the things that you'll see in an
interaction is that for the first ten or 15
minutes, he might bounce his legs up and down.
But as he becomes less anxious and as he becomes
more comfortable with her, he's going to slow
down.
So what you're looking for is a deviation
or a change in that behavior.
It's the same thing as in a presentation.
Let's say that I was giving a presentation
to these two.
And all of a sudden one of them was bouncing
their leg for the first 15 minutes.
A goal of mine would be to get that bouncy
leg behavior to stop.
Because I know that once they're more engage
or interested in what I have to say, it's
less likely for them to commit those kind
of behaviors.
So as we talk, you're talking back and forth.
And then slowly, you'll see you're naturally
a good communicator so you naturally orientating
towards me.
But you don't want it to be natural.
If you we're disinterested in me you'd be
pointing that way.
Alright?
You'll be faced that way.
But as you get more and more interesting no
matter what you do, no matter how hard your
body just squares up with the person.
So it's like "Oh really?
du dud dud".
So the example will be like you're talking
and your here and it's like, "Oh, no.
I kind of did the same.
Yeah" And then slowly and slowly and slowly
we're squared up.
And that's the orientation we're looking for.
So if you walk up to a girl and the all of
a sudden you're like "Hi".
And she looks over at you and like " Hi, du
du dud," you want to see a gradual change
in orientation.
You don't want it to be.
It's not going to be sudden unless you say
something surprising.
So if all of sudden if, "So where you from?"
"Texas."
"Oh my god we just," then you see that kind
of thing.
But usually you don't see that.
You see slight deviation.
It's the best when you get a sharp one then
it's easy.
And it goes both way.
So if all of a sudden she's deviating this
way and things are going good, when she starts
to deviate back, things are going bad.
A method for successfully guiding a conversation
is to watch whether the person is oriented
or disoriented.
And what topics they orient and which topics
the disorient towards.
