Hello
Hello
Are you speaking from MCD?
There is a dead cow in front of my house.
Can you  please send any official to dispose it?
Is it a cow for sure ?
What?
I mean, Is it surely a cow? maybe its a cat, dog or bull?
Yes dude, I can see two horns and her udder. Yes, it is a cow.
okay..So, tell me what is her Cowdhaar number?
Cowdhaar?
What is this?
Don't you know Cowdhaar number?
Just like there is an Adhaar card ID for people
There is a Cowdhar ID card for cows
All the infromation of cow is saved in it.
Check under the earlobe of the cow, you can find her Cowdhaar number.
Just check for it and tell me the Cowdhaar number.
ok, Just a minute. I will check for it
No Sir, I couldn't find any number on her
ah damn! This is an unregistered cow.
This is a bit problematic.
So what can we do in this case. Will someone come take this dead cow away?
Listen
You have to issue a NOC from local Cow-protection leader
Then you have to get it attested by your local village leader.
And then you need to submit it to us.
Why do I need to do this? I didn't kill that cow.
I just need to get that body taken away from my house
It is not about you, we have to get it done.
If we dumped a cow which does not have it's Cowdhaar number
then the cow-protection ppl will beat us up for this. I love my life
This the reason why, this is so important!
But I don't know any of cow-protection Leader, So what should I do?
Dial 1800
This is Gau-Raksha Helpline
It is available 24 x 7
You'll get help whenever you dial it.
There is helpline for it (LOL)!!!
So, I'lI get assistance after I dial this helpline number?
Definitely!
Just remember to issue a death certificate too!
Death Certificate of a cow?
And who will issue this death certificate?
A licensed Gau-Ne-Cow-Logist
What is a Gau-Ne-Cow-Logist now?
You don't know it? It is a new branch introduced in medical science.
There are more than 18 Crore potential patients. All the Gau-Mata  (Cow) are our patients,
There are new medical institutions opening up. I suggest that you should also admit your child in this institution.
There is a lot of money in this field.
Okay
So I need to first issue a No Objection Certificate and then a death certifcate.
After that, you will come to take the cow, right?
yep, just remember to sign a release form from your district animal welfare unit also
And then your job will be done.
But it's a dead cow, doesnt belong to anyone!
She is dead!
That's why!.. if it was alive, would you call me for help?
This is complete madness!!!
How much time would it take to get the release form signed?
Depends!
If you're lucky, it would be done in 14 Days.
Some are okay with 14 days of advertising.
But some officers ask for 1-2 months of advertising.
14 days of advertising?! What ad?
Ever heard of missing person's Ad?
Take a photo of cow and it's identification mark.
And get it advertised in an english and a hindi newspaper.
And get it advertised at least for 14 days.
Dude, use your Brain, If I advertise it for 14 days, her dead body will rot by that time.
What will be the use of all this then?
Sir, these are rules and regulations
We are also helpless, what can we do in this case?
Keep this bullshit with you, you know what I will do
I'll just call 2-3 guys and remove the body myself
I think you would not want to this.
Why?
Sir, our call is being recorded and being monitored by all Cow-protection squad and authorities
So I suggest you to take the form, pay your fees and get rid of all this.
Fees? Now fees for what reason?
well. ahem.. every work requires fees
Approximately 5000 to 15,000 Rs
This is daylight robbery!!
No robbery sir, this is E-Cow-Nomics.
Welcome to new India !
