 
Falling Hard

A Heart Ties Novel

Lauren Laforet

Published by Lauren Laforet at Smashwords

Edited by Lisa Caschera at Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Lauren Laforet

Discover other titles by Lauren Laforet

Crashing Hard

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events described in the novel are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Falling Hard. Copyright. Lauren Laforet. All rights reserved.

To everyone who believes that

they're the footnote in someone else's love story,

And to my muse- much thanks

x Lauren

Acknowledgments

This second book is something I only dreamt of and now that it is a reality I can't even begin to express my gratitude. To my family, who love and believe in me and my dreams everyday- I thank and love you all. To my best friend and editor, my personal and fictional worlds would not be the same without your hard work, dedication and friendship. There aren't enough words to say how thankful I am. To someone special, your belief in me is overwhelming. I wrote the first book and thought that I was finished. You showed me the importance of believing in myself and more importantly to know that true love takes time and is the most important thing to share. I love you. To my wonderful photographer and models, the cover is sheer perfection and I'm continually grateful for the time and effort that you put in to make something so beyond incredible.

Until next time,

xLauren
Prologue

Emerson sat at table alone, again. She had been in the same situation thousands of times before, but for some reason, this time it was different. The dark club had lost its appeal for the final time and she found herself not being able to be lost into the atmosphere of the club. Her head spinning around she did not know how much longer she was going to be able to take this. Emerson mindlessly turned her straw in her drink, clinking her ice from side to side trying to drown out the deafening bass to the seemingly never ending song. Music started blurring together as Emerson thought to herself; at least she knew where she was and how she had gotten there, which was a feat that was not always accomplished when she went out. She closed her eyes trying to immerse herself into what she was able to fathom of her surroundings. Men came in a constant stream offering to keep her company or buy her a drink, which only settled in the loneliness she was feeling tonight. She never had a problem going out after work but something was odd about tonight. She could feel her body ache body, the shooting pain running down her feet and her body screamed of how much she did not really want to be there. She thought about leaving, but for some reason could not bring herself to get up. Finishing her vodka tonic she let her mind wonder for a brief moment but she decided that was definitely something she could not handle tonight and quickly beckoned for the waitress to come over. Tonight she really needed her friends but unfortunately neither of them were close by. Ending that thought before she could elaborate on it she grabbed the shot of tequila and threw it back trying to numb the thought and finally grabbing her next drink. People were everywhere she looked writhing together across the dance floor leaving to have sex in the bathrooms and Emerson could not handle the thought of either today. She could not shake the mood she was in and it felt like the more alcohol she drank the clearer her thoughts became and she really did not want that to happen. She finished her drink again calling the waitress over in record time. This is the last one, she thought to herself, taking it and beginning to spin her straw around. Finally a half decent guy came over and paid for her drink. Emerson really was not in the mood but she never turned down a free drink. He leaned over whispering into her ear asking if she wanted to dance as his hand slowly grazed her thigh. She reluctantly nodded, remembering her promise to constantly keep her sex appeal in check. She finished the drink and finally got up grabbing the hand in front of her that lead her to the dance floor. Emerson slowly moved her body to the unstoppable music wondering if this damn night was ever going to end. She was not enjoying herself and she found it damn near impossible to forget everything by drinking too much. She could not figure out what was wrong and she didn't want to bother either. She let herself be engulfed by the music and tried, for the millionth time tonight, to drown her thoughts out and enjoy herself. Just as she had begun to forget, a fleeting thought passed through her mind, "What is wrong with me?" Immediately after falling into the man behind her, that was a topic she was not ready to face tonight.

Chapter One

1 Year Earlier

Emerson held her sandals wound up in her hand. She slowly moved one foot in front of another squishing and separating her toes, moving them through the sand. Grabbing her free hand, she pushed back her hair, playing with it as she removed her fingers letting it fall perfectly back into place. She began to try and to convince herself that this was real. She had finished her Master's in political science and she'd promised herself she would get away. She had spun the globe and where her finger landed that's where she would go. Being who she was and after spinning the globe three times she had finally found where she actually wanted to go. She had been all over the world modeling but when she decided to go back to school she only modeled when she had time and when she felt that she could get away for long enough. For so long her world was dominated by the gym, flying, and working for whoever needed her. That wonderful life consisted of changing for whatever the agencies needed at the time and adjusting her body to fit the lines. It was nice to not have to constantly be at the salon but working her mind out at school. She still went to the gym weekly but that was only because she could not stand the thought of her body looking any different. She was certainly not outright vain but she had been used to a certain standard and she enjoyed taking care of herself, it was one thing she was extremely good at. She was sad that this was her last day on this island for a few reasons. She really did not know what she wanted to do, she wanted to stay because it was truly beautiful and the thought of having to go back into reality didn't really sound all that appealing right now. She took a depth breath, and reluctantly returned to the cabin packing the last few things waiting for the car to pick her up. Double checking everything around the room, although as long as she had her phone, wallet and passport, mostly her phone, she did not care if she left anything else behind.

She had never gotten many valuable things in her life. Her parents knew she would be able to model so they spent all their money getting her out there and it had paid off. Her parents decided that homeschooling Emerson was the best way so she would be equally as smart as she was dropped dead gorgeous. Her career and education went hand-in-hand for her parents and for a long time she hated them for that. Growing up Emerson eventually mainstreamed just before entering University, at which point she was finally grateful her parents had pushed her education so much. It was a difficult concept for a teenager, looking like she did, as to why she needed an education in the first place. When one of the beginning life lessons you learn is that your face and body will pay the bills, plus you didn't really have to do much. Stand there, look here, fix that, move this, were all words that she knew well and if that was all she needed, then why bother getting any kind of education that she wouldn't ever use. Modeling had always taken amazing care of her. After she had made more than she could have expected or needed, she made sure her parents were always taken care of with whatever they need. She owed everything she had to her parents and she was just as gracious to them when she was finally able to be. She missed them for awhile and was homesick but as she travelled the world learning about life experiences and herself, she constantly remember how lucky and blessed she truly was. Emerson called or used video chat everywhere she went but sometimes it just wasn't the same. When she could she brought her parents wherever they dreamt of going or wherever she could get them to. She sat there on the porch, soaking in the last bit of untouched sun and earth, losing herself in her own thoughts, which happened a lot over the past weeks. She dreaded being alone with her own thoughts but it had turned out to be a good thing. She had begun to think about important things, un-important things, her friends, her family, nonsense things, and it had calmed her, changed her even and she had finally allowed it to be for the better. Her car arrived and she was dropped off at the airport. For the first time in weeks, Emerson turned her phone on and it began to buzz uncontrollably as she had set in on emergency only when she left two weeks ago. She promised herself that when she went on vacation she truly wanted to get away from everything and be alone with her thoughts. She had real life decisions she needed to make and for the first time she wanted to do everything on her own. This trip cleared her head, readjusting her health for the better and let her really thinking about what she wanted. When she got home, there were things that she needed to do to get exactly what she wanted. She wanted to get a job in an office, she wanted to visit her family and friends, she want to occasionally model and she want to be free to herself. She had always been with someone, making a point to never be in a relationship for longer than 3 months, and she never had a lack of interest from men but she never seemed to be interested in them. When she really thought about it there had only really been a couple people who she had caught her interest and the last one had been a few years back.

She had only met him a few times, they kept in contact for awhile, but they both got busy and now she did not really know what he was doing or if it was a good idea to contact him. It took a lot for someone to catch her interest and not because she was stuck up, but life taught her to fight for what she wanted and when she determined that the man wasn't worth the fight, she'd move on. Nothing personal, it was just something that she wanted to feel. The first person that really caught that for her was Ethan and when she landed she would ask Josh about Ethan and then move on. She had promised herself she would not get involved with anyone until she really was interested. She was sick of being in and out of meaningless relationships that she really only used for sex, boredom or both. When she met Ethan she was only going for morale support to meet Josh and go out with Isabelle for her birthday. Isabelle asked Josh to bring a friend for Emerson and he brought a great one. Ethan was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. His olive skin glowed that night as it was complimented perfectly by his chocolate brown eyes, perfect smile, and black wavy hair. They spent a great night together dancing, drinking and eventually exchanging numbers. Ethan had texted her all night and she still felt butterflies for the next month; they had dinner once and went to a bar a couple of times. Although Emerson was a little 'free' as she liked to call herself, she really liked Ethan and she did not want him to become boring like the others. It was not for her lack of attraction but she had gotten busy with school, he was busy working and they had lost contact. The last time she saw Josh she was going to ask but did not want to as she knew Isabelle would have made a bigger deal out of it than was needed and she really did not need or want that. She would call Josh and make sure he swore not to tell Izzy, although she knew that was probably not going to happen. The two of them told each other everything. Isabelle maintained that it was the secret to five years of marriage and two beautiful boys. Josh and Isabelle were just as in love as the first time they met. Deep down somewhere, Emerson knew she was supposed to want exactly what they have but something stopped her from doing so. She envied Isabelle and Josh, and Cori and Rich but she was just fine alone and she enjoyed it that way, most of the time. She occasionally thought about Ethan but when she found herself thinking for too long she would head to the bar or the nearest bottle of vodka and hook up with whatever came her way. She really was not a slut, she did have standards and she tried not to think all the time because it usually never ended well. She was very intelligent but she seemed to not be able to handle her emotions the socially acceptable way. She made it out to being homeschooled for so long or it had been something mis-wired in her brain, but she had accepted that.

The flight home was a long one. Bora Bora seemed to be on the other side of the world and she was completely okay with that. It was stunning as the sun shone on the water making it a color of blue she had truly never seen. She had unbelievable weather for two weeks and she was blessed for that. She spent her time sun bathing on the beach, reading new books she had bought for the trip, and shopping around the local stores. She had found a few things for her friends and their extremely adorable children, and she had thought and relaxed just as she had planned on doing. She just wanted to be somewhere that she did not have to deal with her reality, friends worrying about her, or thinking of anyone but herself. As selfish as that sounded she did not care. CoCo Chanel had taught her the most important ideal and the quote she lived her life by "A woman must be two things: Classy and Fabulous" and every once and while a girl needed to recharge to do so. She was so grateful to be able to travel and now she had to head home. She needed to stop to see her family first and then she would head out to Cori and Isabelle's. She had gotten the kids cool shirts and her friends some nice candles and statues that would work well in both of their homes. She could not wait to get home and start interview for jobs. She had a few lined up and she enjoyed talking about herself so really interviews were the perfect things for her to do. That was her last thought before falling asleep on the plane getting the last little bit of much needed rest.
Chapter Two

Before she knew it the plane had landed, and she was rudely awoken by the sound of people shuffling to get off the plane. Although she really did not feel like moving or getting up at this moment, she dragged her ass off the seat quickly grabbing her things and heading out the plane. She was still half asleep waiting for her luggage and missed it the first few times around. Eventually she woke up enough to stumble over, grab her luggage, and find the nearest taxi that would taking her to her car. She was extremely glad it was cold out as it was the last little nudge she needed to wake up fully. She didn't do well in the morning getting up, let alone being interrupted from sleep and having to function, so sometimes it took a little longer.

Getting to the car she threw her things in with a mad hurry to get out of the cold and headed to her house. Thankfully the drive wasn't too long because she wanted to be in her own bed. The vacation was hardly strenuous, but it was long and she had way too much time to think. She had set her mind to do a million things getting her plans into actions. Although she wore a less than soft demeanor, she was lonely and did not know how to fix it. She had her friends and her family and her wonderful house but it was just that, a house; and she never felt at home. She had heard people talk of going home and how much they loved home but all her life she had never understood that feeling or how it could make people feel so whole and loved. She figured something would eventually happen and she would get that feeling but after everything she had been through it was always a false hope.

"Great more thinking," she said, "and now I'm talking to myself. I really need to see my friends." She pulled into the driveway and took her things into the house. She drew a bath placing bath salts and bubbles into the tub while she threw her things into the washer and came back up stairs. Turning on some music she climbed into the tub, placing her head against the wall and she fell back asleep. Half hour later the sound of her phone startled her, making her jump out of the tub with water dripping everywhere as she ran to get the phone.

"Hello?" Emerson said slightly groggy.

"Emmie, How are you? We've missed you! When are you coming over?" Emerson loved Isabelle but she always had so much energy.

"Izzy! I've missed you too. I was thinking about coming out later tonight for a few days. I just have to do a little bit more laundry so I have something to wear, unless Josh would prefer otherwise." She loved to make Isabelle laugh, she knew it was all jokes but Josh was hot as hell.

"Em, seriously!"

"Oh Izz, relax I was just kidding."

"Oh you better be, and your ass better be here soon. It's not just me who wants to see you. Say hi Harrison." Damn, she's evil, Emerson could never say no to that adorable kid.

"Hi Aunt Emmie."

"Alright you pulled out the big guns, I'm on my way."

Emerson packed whatever was clean and headed back out on the road. She turned up the music and turned off her thoughts so all she had to worry about was driving to the one place she thought was the closest thing she would ever get to having a "home". It was going to be a long drive but she didn't mind, she was going to crash as soon as she got there, while that's if her friends would let her.

Running up the drive way, leaving everything in the car, she finally made it to the door barrelling in. She screamed "Hello" as she found no one was there. Heading outside she opened the door, she heard "Surprise!" As she looked around and everyone she loved was there. She made her way down the stairs furiously hugging everyone twice and answering questions left right and center. She talked about her trip, graduation and the only question she wanted to avoid never came up. She still was not sure on what she was going to do with the rest of her life but she had to figure it out. She finally sat down and Isabelle brought her a drink.

"Alright spill, how was the vacation?" Isabelle said sitting down next to her, putting her feet up for the first time that day.

"Oh, it was fantastic, I relaxed, thought about a lot of things and took lots of pictures and bought a few things. Like this." Emerson said, reaching into her bag and grabbed a small bracelet. The gold and silver shells were woven together with the smallest most dainty string, and Emerson knew it was perfect and delicate just like Isabelle.

"Oh Em it's beautiful! Thank you!" Isabelle said getting up to hug Emerson, just as Cori walked into the room.

"Um excuse me, where's mine?" Cori said walking to the girls and joining in on their group hug.

"Oh my god, Cori! Where the hell have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere." Emerson said sitting back down and rummaging through her bag as Cori was talking.

"Sorry I got caught up later than I planned on at work and waiting for Rich," Emerson and Cori both stood up to hug each other and Emerson placed Cori's bracelet in her hand, the same of course because she knew her best friends and if one was different they would start to complain. Just as she placed the bracelet into her hand, big hands grabbed her sides sweeping her off her feet and into his arms.

"Rich!" She screamed in excitement!

"Well hello there little lady, I think you've gotten smaller since the last time I've seen you."

"Thanks, I guess, and Josh how are you? Still looking as delicious as ever," she said grabbing Josh and hugging him as well. "Seriously you both are good looking but where is my favourite person?"

She turned around and the most adorable little man was running full tilt at her. She bent down just in time to pick up him. His brown hair and blue eyes were a deadly combination. His smile got wider as Emerson tickled him and tossed him lightly in the air. Unfortunately for his parents, Harrison was a perfect combination of the two of them and they were definitely going to be fighting off the girls when he was older.

"Aunt... Emmie... stop" he squealed as Emerson bent down again letting him gently back onto his two feet.

"That kid is going to be a knock out, just like his daddy," Emerson said as pinched Josh's cheek.

"Emerson let's get your stuff into the house," Isabelle said grabbing Emerson's hand and pulling her into the house. "I don't know if it's possible but seriously you got even more beautiful. I'm glad you're back though; now let's get your stuff into your room. I know it's been a big day and you're probably tired."

"Thanks Izzy you're the best, and that kid he is just so cute and delectable, you will have a lot of doors to shut on girls' faces. I'll unpack and head to bed. See yah in the morning." Emerson unpacked all her things, took off her makeup and jumped straight into bed letting a deep slumber over come here.

The next morning was filled with chaos, Coir coming over, Josh headed off to work taking all the boys to daycare, which left the girls to the house all day. They spent the day relaxing, drinking, and talking about the last couple of years. The girls had seen each other, made lots of video chatting dates and phone calls but as Isabelle and Cori had kids so it was hard to get everyone together. She could not believe how big the kids had gotten and how normal everyone's lives had become. It seemed that only yesterday Isabelle had met Josh on the train home and she could've sworn that she was at their engagement party a couple of days ago.

As she sat listening to her friends talk she kept thinking how much their lives had changed since that day. Every part of her life was different and she spent hours on vacation, deciding whether or not she liked the changes. She tried to think of things that she could do to make the changes that she wanted to but nothing seemed to work as fast as she could dream them up. It took a three week vacation and a lot of yoga to realize that it was not her who wanted to change but she needed something in her life that was not there, a sense of home, a sense of belonging.

"Okay so we got a sitter and we are all going out for dinner." Isabelle called out as she came into Emerson's room. Looking at the clock, Emerson realised they had been talking all day and just as that thought ran through her head she noticed her stomach start to growl.

"Sounds good, when are we leaving? How long do I have to get ready?" Emerson said trying to decide on what to wear, picking up clothes and putting them back down.

"In a couple of hours, I'll put Harrison down for a nap when he gets home and we can get ready," Cori said grabbing her things and heading back to her house. It helped that the girls lived so close to one another.

An hour later, the girls were all back together helping each other with their hair and make-up, talking about what they should and should not wear. They accomplished what they thought was going to be an impossible goal and headed out. The car ride was the normal banter about how everyone's day was. Emerson almost felt normal again. She did not know how to explain it but she was not complaining.

"Oh yah, Josh's friend Ethan is coming, hope that's cool. Completely forgot to mention it." Isabelle said causally as she turned her head back and smiled at Emerson.

Damn it that woman knew everything without saying a word and conveniently dropped the bomb like that right as they pulled into the restaurant. What was standing outside was even more jaw dropping. There he was more delicious than she could have ever imagined. His tall slender body was leaning up against the wall and all she saw was Ethan's hand brush through his perfectly sculptured brown hair. His glasses framed his face perfectly and his green eyes pierced through her, even from a distance. Emerson immediately stopped dead in her tracks and did not know what they hell she was going to do next.

They all got out of the car and she fixed her dress, running her fingers through her own curls hoping that he wouldn't see, and grabbed Isabelle's hand. At the moment that Isabelle mentioned he was coming, Emerson thought of all the quick ways to strangle her. She certainly wasn't going to but she also forgot how devious her friends were. They liked to mettle and it had been awhile she they had an opportunity like this. This was the one shot she wanted to have but she certainly had not mentally prepared for it. Maybe that was good, thinking can get people into trouble but not being able to think seemed to have the same effect on her. This was a different situation but she was not one to back down from a challenge, or a ridiculously appealing man standing there looking like the worlds' most attractive model. She had modelled everywhere and with lots of people but there was something about Ethan that immediately unravelled her inhibitions and he was the first person that could truly do that. She shook her head and threw on a deadly smile, grabbing Isabelle's arms and whispering "This is going to be a very interesting night." Seeing as she was a model, and certainly knew how to work her body, she placed her sexiest model strut on and headed straight for what she wanted making her feel exhilarated for the first time in a long time.
Chapter Three

Walking towards him she immediately felt like no time had passed. The chemistry between them had always been electrifying and at this moment she had no idea in hell why she would let this connection go. He was incredibly stunning and it wasn't just his appearance, but his personality, the way he worked the room, his perfectly placed humor. The attention he placed in talking to someone, making you feel like the only person who is in the room and what you're saying is the most interesting thing he has ever heard. It was his eyes that told how old and loving his soul was, it was his enthusiasm that he had for the things he was passionate about. He was this strong person that could control the room and its mood making the evening go from good to amazing. Emerson always thought there was no way he was human, or even real, but there he was standing there, and she felt like there was not one other person he was looking at.

"Hello, Emerson." Ethan said staring right into her eyes making her feel like he had not even noticed all the hard work she had done to put herself together. He grabbed her hand and kissed the back off it and all of a sudden Emerson felt a flush as a strong heat run through her body. She did not know how to take it but she instantly wanted more. Addicted like she was years ago.

"Well, Well, if it isn't Ethan Thacker " she said letting her hand linger in his and making sure their eyes never broke contact, "Should we head in? It seems that they've left us outside." Ethan quickly broke his gaze for a moment to realize that the two of them were standing outside of the restaurant and everyone else had gone in. It wasn't unusual that this happened between them. Their pull towards each other allowed them to forget the rest of the world. Looking around he placed that devilish grin, that started in the right corner of his mouth, setting Emerson into overdrive, "That they have, shall we?", Ethan instantly motioned his arm open for her to place her hand through and they headed into the restaurant.

The dark room was lit softly with small votive candles all around on every edge and every table creating a soft dim red light along all of the walls. The smell of the food coming from the kitchen was intoxicating making Emerson's stomach rumble, startling Ethan and immediately making them both laugh. Ethan pulled Emerson's chair out and pushed it back in before sitting down himself.

The evening was perfect, especially because it was the perfect atmosphere allowing for either of them to have to lean into the other before speaking. Emerson placed her hand lightly and slowly at the right times, Ethan placed his arm around her, brushing her hair away from her ear, watching her breathe hitch. They moved in unison as they always had and there were times they had completely forgot that their friends were there. They had ordered, eaten and had desert before anyone truly knew what had happened. Emerson loved being with Ethan but she would certainly not let her friends know that. She liked to pretend that they couldn't see how well they worked together so that she didn't have to talk about it or be badgered about it either; she could not be bothered with all of their nagging. Everything between her and Ethan was best kept private, which was part of the chemistry they held. They were both extremely independent people that worked seamlessly together. It was just like no time had passed since the last time they had been together. They were great together and had life not been busy with things getting in the way, Emerson always wondered what would have happened. Everyone was getting restless, unsure of what was supposed to happen next, and just as they were getting up to leave, Ethan asked as he leaned in so only she could hear him.

"Emerson, I hope this isn't too presumptuous but I was wondering if we could go out and I'll bring you back to Izzy's later?"

Emerson smiled and nodded as she got her things, kissed her friends and left with Ethan, ignoring the glares and smiles from her evil friends. She had become an expert at hiding her emotions, and maybe the wine with dinner had helped but the feeling at what was just said made her beyond excited. "Perfect", she thought as they walked out, "This is just what I needed."

"So where are we going?" Emerson said as Ethan held her coat and she stepped into it.

"I was thinking that we could grab a cup of coffee and relax there? Would that be okay?" Emerson smiled thinking yes, that's perfect another quiet area where there's an excuse for more touching.

"Of course, that sounds great," Emerson smiled at him as they got into the car and started on their way. Making small talk was never an issue for them but a comfortable silence was also acceptable. Emerson just kept looking over and smiling "So I hear you just got back from vacation? How was it?"

"It was great actually, the weird thing is that I was thinking about you and I was going to ask Josh about you when I had a second away from the girls." Not knowing if she had just ruined whatever this was before it started, she took a big breath in and prayed she hadn't. Ethan looked smiling and all of the sudden Emerson knew she had said the right thing.

"Really, you know truthfully my ears were ringing. Only good things, I hope." He had a way of undoing her with his eyes and that smirk, and it immediately spun Emerson out of control. They pulled into a parking spot and Ethan rushed around the car to grab her door before they walked into the coffee shop.

"Of course good things, I haven't been able to stop thinking lately, I don't know if that's a good thing or not but I just keep thinking about us and what could have happened." Without missing a step, he stood at the counter, "I'll have a grande double mocha and she'll have a grande skinny vanilla latte. Emerson I think about that all the time." Emerson actually took a step back, "First off I can't believe that you remember my coffee order and really?" Ethan just smiled at her, "Yes of course. Life got in the way of something that could've been great." She could feel her heart racing in her chest, damn him and his always knowing exactly what to say. "I agree. So how about life now, what is happening for you?" Emerson said taking a sip, looking over her cup straight into his eyes. It was at that moment she remembered why she could never get enough of him.

"Well teaching has its perks seeing as I'm off for the summer but I really like my job and things have finally settled down enough. That's when Isabelle called and I jumped at the idea of seeing you again." Starring straight back at her, neither one of them knew how to control themselves at this point.

"I bet you're an incredible teacher and I'm glad to hear you say that. How about your brothers? How are they doing?"

Ethan smiled and was slightly shocked she remembered any of this, "I can't believe you remember and they are great! John is away finishing up is Master in Social Work and Mark is working in LA creating graphics for different companies." Damn she was good, but he knew how to play her just as she did to him. "Incredible, I knew they would both do amazing things. You must be relieved."

"Yeah, I'm glad for both of them. They're doing great and from the sounds of it I'm assuming at least one of the will be engaged soon. I don't know how I'll handle that all by myself. It's times like these that life is going well when I wish my parents were still around." Her hand immediately reached out to his and she waited to say anything. She didn't want to push the topic and she knew how hard it had been for him to share that information in the first place. "I know, it must be really hard but clearly you must know they would've been proud at what you've done for the boys."

Ethan just searched her eyes for the one thing that was missing in his life, she had made him a different man and he wanted so desperately for the same thing to happen again. "I hope so. They're both successful with great women in their lives, what more can a guy ask for, right?"

"I can't think of anything," Emerson said sipping her coffee slowly. She needed to take in her surroundings and understand what was happening. Here she was, coming back from vacation where all she could think of was calling to find out how Ethan was doing, and he was sitting right in front of her. Flirting with her, making her feel better, which is when she thought that she never wanted the evening to end.

"Speaking of women, how about you? Anyone lucky enough to pick you up, and steal you from the rest of the world?" All that rang through Emerson's head was please no. "No actually I haven't met just the right girl yet." She actually let out a sigh of relief. "Really? Well that makes me happy." Okay, her big mouth was bound to ruin this night at some point, yet it hadn't happened yet. Ethan slightly chocked on the coffee, before smiling and responding "And why would that be?"

"Because all I wanted was to hear you say that and hopefully change your mind," Emerson said leaning into Ethan pressing her lips close to his taking a small breathe then kissing his cheek.

It was that moment when she realized how much she had missed him and how much work she had to do to get him back. Ethan smiled knowing just how much fun this was going to be. Fighting to get her back and watching her fight for him and from what he could remember, she never fought fair.

"I can think of a few fun things," Emerson whispered seductively as she got up and out of her chair, "but why don't we go for a walk around the town."

"That sounds perfect." Ethan grabbed their drinks, throwing out the cups and grabbing her hand, "Where to?" Emerson looked over at him, "I don't know exactly but let's find out."

Emerson woke up, ran her hand through her hair and tried to remember the events of the night before. The last thing that she remembered was having fun taking a walk with Ethan but she did not remember how or when she got into her bed and what really happened during their walk. Her head didn't hurt so she figured she could not have had that much to drink, in fact she remembered drinking coffee.

"Are you up?" Cori whispered gently, waking Emerson up was like waking a sleeping bear, you're not supposed to do that.

Emerson tried to open her eyes, but her head was pounding, her voice groggy, and she wasn't sure what kind of truck hit her this morning. "Uh-huh, what the hell happened last night?"

Cori walked into the room, "Turning on the light, close your eyes."

Emerson let out a large sigh and pulled the covers over her head.

"Well you came home happier than anyone could even imagine," Cori said, pulling the covers off her head and snuggling into the bed next to her. "Yah and we weren't even sure that it was you." Isabelle said crawling into the bed on the other side. Emerson smiled, knowing they were only in there because she was so warm, "Well I remember having a great evening with Ethan but this morning I feel like I got hit by a truck. What the hell happened after I got back?" Emerson just took her hand, massaging her temples and tried to listen to her friends.

"We started drinking, how is it possible that you don't remember any of it?" Cori looked and Isabelle with the most puzzled look on her face. Neither one of them could figure out how she could not remember anything. Emerson immediately shot up out of bed, "Wait, what were we drinking last night?"

"Tequila," Cori and Isabelle looked at each other and realised what that meant.

"Of course, now that's why I can't remember," Emerson took her hand and rubbed her forehead, all three of them laughed at the same time. Emerson and tequila never went hand in hand and she must have had an amazing night to agree to drink that. "Alright, unfortunately I don't remember what I said last night, can someone fill me in?" Cori looked at her than Isabelle, "Of course, where to start?"

As soon as Cori began recalling the details, Emerson began remembering things about the night before. She remembered leaving the coffee shop and walking around with Ethan. They talked about life, how it had treated them, where they wanted to go, and Emerson began to realise that they were not the same people as they were when they met, but she noticed that it was okay. Better in fact. When they had first met, there was an instant attraction but maybe less of a connection than she had thought. Sure they had things in common and they were able to enjoy each other's company, but they drifted apart for a reason she could not understand until now. They had never been at the same point in their lives and she instantly became grateful as a smile spread across her face. Apparently her friends had noticed her becoming delirious and glossy eyed. "Em have you been listening?" Cori said sounding slightly annoyed, seeing as it was Emerson asking for a recall of the night before and she wasn't even paying attention. "You know I wasn't retelling this for my own enjoyment." Isabelle just laughed and both of them waited for her to respond.

"Cori, you've said enough. I just realised why it didn't work the first time but right now it's finally the right time." Isabelle smiled and threw her arms around Emerson, "I'm so happy right now. We are going out to get breakfast. Get ready and I'll pay."

"Okay I haven't even told you but I never turn a free meal down," Emerson said grabbing her things quickly so they could head out the door.
Chapter Four

The girls headed out to the Country Cupboard for breakfast, they had heard it was good and Emerson's parents had even suggested it. The girls had finally sat down and were looking at the menu before Emerson heard her name called. "Emerson is that you? "Emerson whipped her head around, annoyed and tried to fake a smile. It was early, and all she wanted to do was see Ethan and figure out what their next step together was supposed to be. "Yes" she said sounding slightly annoyed. "It's me Reid Bennett, we grew up together. Do you remember me?" Emerson stopped to take a glance up and down him, not even paying attention. He was regular height, his blonde hair looked like it had been sculpted taking more time than hers. But damn he was hot; there was certainly no denying that. He stood there smiling at her and she had become slightly entranced. His blue eyes were certainly nothing special, and he wasn't nearly as captivating as Ethan, but then it clicked in. She knew exactly who he was, but he had grown up nicely. "Oh yes of course. How are you?" Emerson said still taking in his appearance. "You've certainly grown up." Reid laughed "Yes I have. I think our moms were talking saying that you were in town. How are you?" Emerson immediately wanted to call and murder her mother, she always found the inappropriate time to meddle. She had to find out if this was a set up. "I'm good, life is busy and I can't believe how fast it goes by. Do you come here often?"

Reid smiled. "I never been but my mom suggested I come so my friends and I thought it would be go to check it out." First off he wasn't great with the small talk, but there was something oddly charming and adorable about it. It almost seemed like he was slightly uncomfortable in her presence. Emerson faked a smile thinking thankfully Reid would not catch onto that. "Yah same here. So what are you up to these days?" Emerson was trying to be polite but she was out with friends, for breakfast, how did this guy not get that. "I'm finishing up my residency at the hospital and I'll be a doctor. What are you doing? Still modeling?" A doctor, and now she got it. Of course her mother wanted her to find a doctor and settle down. "Wow that's incredible and yes I am actually. I finished up my Masters in Political Science and I'm thinking of branching out. But good for you, we'll have to get together sometime." Okay, now you can go, Emerson thought hoping he would leave before she kept finding something charming about him. "Sounds great, I'm sure our moms will figure something out. Lovely to see you."

With that he was off and Emerson had to call back, "Yes you too," before turning her head back to the table and looking down simultaneously. She tried to register what had just happened and something began to make her angry. Seriously, her own mother. She was fine and she would be able to find someone herself. Amid her anger she looked up beginning to regain consciousness bringing her back to reality just in time for her friend's questions to start. She did not know whether she wanted to indulge their questions with answers but she figured that it was a good idea. "Alright who was that? I was going to ask nicely but I'll just throw it out there now," Cori stated looking at Isabelle, tilting her head to the side and giving her the 'eye' only Emerson knew well. "He was a childhood friend, one that my mother clearly wanted me to run into again. I lived next to him for awhile but seeing as I travelled everywhere and was never home, I haven't seen him since I was a teenager. I can't believe my mother is still trying to get us together. I knew him as a child but that's it. He clearly grew up well and he's smart but that does not mean I want to date him. I know what both of you are thinking so just stop." Both girls looked slightly appalled. "Well I don't see the harm in finding that out truthfully," Cori stated as she moved the straw around and around in her drink not making direct contact. "Yah, there is something there, but don't let it confuse you, you were just gushing about Ethan." Isabelle said and Emerson knew that she was trying to get her mind to stop from wandering and not let a great guy fall from her sights again.

Emerson didn't know how to take that as she was not sure where her life was going. That comment had enraged her but what was the real reason for that? Would it be because she wanted a second fair shot with Ethan or because Reid was actually a good fit for her and she did not want to admit that her mother forced a meeting between the two of them? "Cori, what did you just say...?" Emerson was ready to retaliate but she was interrupted by a text. Immediately turning to grab her phone, she relaxed when she saw the name swiping at it mindlessly and opening the message.

Em,

I can't seem to stop thinking about you.

I'll be at Cori's around 7 and we are going out

I remember you love surprises ;)

Ethan

Although she wanted to finish the comment that Cori absolutely deserved to get she stopped and smiled at the thought of seeing Ethan again. "Em, did Ethan just text you?"

"Cori although you deserved the comment that was coming at you, and believe me it was good, can I stay a couple more days?" Emerson figured it was best to keep her mouth shut so that she could stay for a few more days and Cori just rolled her eyes as usual. "Of course, yes, and I can only imagine. So where's Ethan taking you?"

Emerson read the text to her friend which ultimate ended in another smile. There was something about him that felt right but she could not pin point exactly what that was. All she knew was that she didn't want that feeling to go away. "I'm just saying he is wonderful." Isabelle said, finishing off her breakfast as the other girls waited for her. "Isabelle you are just a sap for anything remotely romantic." Cori said laughing as the waitress had come back over, "I know but I have Josh thanks to providence so how can I not be. Not that I want to be an annoying mom but we should probably get home and let our husbands off the hook." Cori stood up slowly, looking slightly annoyed "I guess." "Thanks for breakfast Isabelle," they said in unison, smiling and laughing as they began to walk to the car. Isabelle hugged Emerson elatedly, "Thanks for finally taking my advice Emerson."

Cori listened for Emerson to shut the door before she started talking to Isabelle, as they sat playing with their children. They knew how blessed they were to have these amazing children but the boys were typical boys, full of energy and never wanting to stop playing. They asked a million questions, ran a million miles an hour and they were busy all the time. Cori and Isabelle never really had time to talk but neither of them seemed to mind. The boys seemed to be entertaining themselves for the moment and Cori knew they needed to talk.

Cori could tell there was something on Isabelle's mind and that she was more than attempting to hide it. "Isabelle, what are you thinking about and don't try to pretend like you're not. I know you remember?" Isabelle sighed and knew that she was more than right.

"I guess it's just Emerson. I'm so happy that she has found Ethan again because I know the two of them will work but I'm worried about her and this Reid guy. First off what do we know about him and you know her and her ability to make a decision, its non-existent. So if she decides to see both of these guys what do you think is going to happen?" Isabelle said, feeling completely overwhelmed by Emerson. She always had an issue of taking over other people's problems as her own.

Cori, picking up Harrison and placing him in her lap, looked over to Isabelle and could sense the worry in her face. "I knew it. It's not really our business Izzy all we can do is help her if she asks for it and although we think we know what's best for her, maybe we don't. I just think she needs to do this one on her own. You know what our input and meddling did to them last time."

"I know but we were just trying to...", Isabelle immediately felt ashamed. She had thought about that often and when she realized how much Emerson wanted to get him back she felt a little bit better about the situation.

"Yes I know you were just trying to help but we messed up and she can't find out about that so let's stay back unless she asks for help. Got it?" Neither one of them liked to lie but this was something that was best kept a quiet. Emerson didn't need to find out, mostly because life had come full circle and this was finally happening on her terms. Isabelle was pushed back as both of her boys sat on her lap at the same time. Cori laughed at what has just happened and grabbed her phone taking a picture. "You're right. Only if she asks, but we do need to get to know Reid..."

Cori knew Isabelle was going to be pushing the subject and nothing needed to get into Emerson's head, especially any kind of uncertainty or indecision. "Don't push it lady. She won't open up about him until she's ready. She's really happy that she is talking to Ethan again. Let's not go overboard because she'll run ten miles in the other direction if we do and that could lead to something bad again." Picking up their boys they both agreed that was the best decision.

"You're right let's see how it goes." Isabelle said, opening the door and heading outside. "It can't hurt to let her make her own decisions, this time."

A few hours passed and Emerson, thankfully, had set an alarm. She checked her phone when she got up but nothing new. Slightly disappointed, she crawled out of bed and placing her favourite running clothes on, she headed downstairs. She needed air, space, and distance, getting into her own head and over thinking was easy, getting out of it to gain perspective, difficulty and running had normally broken that gap for her. "Who's up for a run?" She said jogging down the stairs to grab her shoes. "I am, good timing, we just put the boys down for a nap," Cori yelled up "Rich we are going to head out, listen for the boys." "Sure" Rich had called out from the kitchen, one of his best qualities was his abilities in the kitchen, he could really cook and Cori didn't like to stand in the way of the man and his kitchen. "Okay I just have to change quick, Izzy you in?" Cori said running to her room and Isabelle wasn't too far behind "Yes please." Apparently they all needed a little breather, some head space, and thinking about nothing but the road.

They threw their workout clothes on and headed out. They ran together all the time while they were in school. It's the only way all three of them knew how to clear their head and they enjoyed each other's company while running anyway. There was a strict no music rule because their most important talks happened on a run. "Any reason we are out here today? Anyone have any business to discuss?" Isabelle said running a little faster than the rest of them. "Subtle Isabelle, Cori I know you're thinking the same thing." Emerson tried not to laugh but she knew her friends. "Pretty much" Cori nodded as they both patiently waited for Emerson's response.

"Fine, I'm happy that Ethan and I are talking. It's everything I wanted when I came home from my trip but Reid was a good friend of mine and I would like to at least catch up with him. I'm not saying I wanted to date both of them but I just don't know what to do."

There was silence for a little bit as Cori and Isabelle decided on what was the best advice was. "Well I think that you know what you want. I think if you want to have coffee with Reid, you just need to be honest with Ethan and let him know you're meeting a friend. If you feel something for Reid and you want to see what that is then go ahead. There is no right or wrong in this situation, you really need to think what's best for you." Isabelle finished, and immediately attempted to gauge what Emerson was thinking, before Cori butted in, "Yep I think it's the best thing you can do."

Emerson was shocked; her most conservative friend was giving this advice. She knew Isabelle wasn't saying go ahead and sleep with both of them, but maybe she was right, meeting for coffee never killed anyone. "Really Izz, that's what you, of all people, are going to say. I thought you would tell me to stay the hell away from Reid because of Ethan, but you might have a point there."

Isabelle laughed knowing how true that statement was. "Fine, I think you and Ethan are great together. I don't know much about Reid, but I am worried that you won't be able to make a decision."

Emerson unfortunately knew all too well of her inability to make a simple decision let alone one this size. She wasn't pretending like it wasn't true, but she had thought that the time on the vacation had helped somehow. "Truthfully I'm a little nervous of that too but I haven't made a decision as of what I am going to do with Reid. I have, however, made a decision that we need to head back because I have to get ready for Ethan." Emerson said, starting the race back to the house, if they didn't like running for the exercise, they loved it for the competition.

Isabelle looked over knowing exactly what was happening, "Fair enough. One step at a time and if you need us you know we are always here," speeding up her run. Emerson said laughing back at the girls, "I know thanks guys."

They headed back home mostly in silence as they all had things to think about and work out in their own house. Emerson had an hour to get ready and seeing as she was a model for the better part of her life, she knew how to get ready in way less time than that. She showered, placed her hair in long ponytail that curled perfectly as it laid down the middle of her back. She threw some casual yet sexy make up on and she had no idea what to wear as she didn't know where they were going. She grabbed her phone and sent a quick text.

Ethan,

I don't want 2 know where we r going

But do I need to be fancy or ready for anything?

EM.

She hoped he was near his phone because she only had a little bit of time before he was going to be here. She was fussing with her hair when she heard her phone buzz and dove onto the bed to grab it.

Em,

Be ready for anything

See you soon

Ethan

'Excellent', she thought to herself. She enjoyed those kinds of dates and Ethan was certainly the right person to take her for fun. She started to wonder what Reid did for a fun date but she quickly shut the thought out of her mind and grabbed her favourite pair of tights, a cute shirt that was acceptable for almost any activity, socks and running shoes. If she knew Ethan, anything really could mean anything.

She headed out of her room only to notice Josh, Cori, Rich and Isabelle standing in the kitchen and just as she strut out saying "How hot do I look?" Ethan turned around, "Very". Her mouth dropped open trying to figure out how no one had told her that he was already there. "I...ugh...well that's embarrassing. Are you ready to go?" Emerson said attempting to playfully recover from what she had just done.

"I'm ready but I don't know if you're going to be ready for this date." Ethan said, bumping his hips right into hers and walked out to the car, leaving Emerson slightly shocked and running after him.

"Bring it on," she said teasingly passing him out the door. "See you guys later." Emerson called back as she shut the door and raced Ethan to the car. 
Chapter Five

"Where are we going? You know I like surprises, but I feel like we've been driving for a long time. Should I be worried you're going to kill me or something?" Emerson said half-jokingly but really wondering where in the hell he was taking her. They had really been driving for hours and it did not seem like it was going to end any time soon.

Ethan just smiled and looked over towards her, melting her on the inside. "Well seeing as we already know each other, what do you think? I know you and if you were worried you would have already been out of the car and we are almost there anyway."

"So we are actually going somewhere," she said playfully, brushing the hair away from her face noticing his stare out of the corner of her eye. "Of course we are. We are headed to HotShotz."

Emerson just laughed; he had walked into this one. "That's what you are, but what the hell is that?" Ethan just shook his head, forgetting how ridiculous Emerson was. "I remembered you were a little adventurous and I think this sounds like something you'd like. Here we are, unless you would rather go and get a coffee." Ethan winked hoping it would set her competitive side into overdrive, although he might have done that in the house before the left.

Emerson looked around her at the huge brown building. It didn't look like much from the outside but as they walked in she knew she was in for a treat. They walked in and the overwhelming noise of the music, kids screaming and the machines ringing from those who had won at the arcade. The inside of the building was lit in all kinds of colours and she didn't know where to look. There was so much going on, a million boards to look at, and activities to choose from and from the sounds of it, everyone in here was having fun. She had tons activities to choose from and skating was first on her list. A small grin grew in one corner of her mouth and she realized she was going to have fun. Turning to Ethan and looking up at him, he knew she was going to be trouble tonight. "Well Emerson, where should we start?"

"Definitely skating," she leaned into Ethan whispering into his ear, "Heads up, I'm awesome at this stuff." She ran over to get her skates as Ethan stood there for a moment taking it in. This unbelievably beautiful model was there with him, again, and she looked like she was about to kick his ass at anything they did tonight. Although his manly pride should've dictated that he was annoyed, he was more than excited to watch her have fun.

Emerson didn't waste a minute throwing on her skates and heading to the rink. She only looked back because she heard Ethan's voice calling to her. "You haven't seen me skate Emerson, I could totally kick your skinny little butt." "I doubt that," she said with one small movement she placed a kiss on his cheek and off she went.

They raced around the track and Emerson had no problem beating him. She thought she should let up and let him pass her but then she thought, where's the fun in that? She glided up, hip checking him and luckily he had good balance because she did not hold back. He was startled for a moment and then caught right up to her. He skated closed behind her before grabbing her hips and picking her up turning her to face him. They skated around most of the rink as Emerson struggled to get out of his arms but eventually gave up. Ethan put her down and she was out of there eventually lapping him several times before he suggested that they try something else.

"Okay seeing as you're probably getting sick of getting beat by a girl. I see flag football let's head over there," Emerson said and before Ethan had time to retaliate she had her skates off and was on her way to football. "Seriously," Ethan was slightly confused but more intrigued than anything so he headed straight after her dropping their skates back at the rental booth.

They pretty much did everything that was available. From flag football, to the indoor batting cage, they play a little bit of soccer, headed through the arcade and somehow managed to sneak into the playground where they raced around like ten year olds through the slides and up the nets. Neither of them could keep their competitive nature in check as Emerson would win; Ethan would beat her at the next thing. All night they were laughing and having an unbelievably fun time. All of a sudden they heard a voice over the p.a. system:

Attention customers, we are closed; please return all rented equipment to the booth. Thanks for coming to HotShotz and have a great night.

"Wow its midnight already?" Ethan said, slightly sad at the sentiment, he had never had this much fun on a date in his life. "Oh my god have we been really playing around here for 5 hours already. I feel like we just got here." Emerson said, placing her hand in his as they walked back to the car. Ethan looked at her and had to take this whole night in for a second. "So was it a good date place?"

"Most definitely. I love giving you a run for your money and beating your ass to the point of embarrassment." Emerson slowly put her arms around Ethan's neck looking at him for a minute then kissing him gently.

"Oh well sure, you beat me, I didn't let you win or anything." Ethan said as he wrapped his arms around her waist kissing her again. He slowly pulled her tighter and kissed her neck before he interrupted their moment, "Where to Em?" Emerson had a hard time remembering that they were in a public place and she needed to behave. She cleared her throat "Wherever you'd like."

Remembering that the two of them were never good at keep their hands off each other, that kiss wanted to send her back to where they were. Sure it was partly because he was too hot and she did not see the point of wasting any time they had together but there was a connection that was unspeakable and unbelievably strong that they did not see the point in being apart.

Something in her was telling her to slow it down, that this time would be different because everything about her was different. They were both in different places in their lives, a place where someone to love them is all they needed. They needed someone to come home to, take care of them, talk to, to just be themselves with. Emerson had spent her entire life being exactly what everyone wanted her to be but, never who she was. She had gone on vacation with the time to find herself and it seems to lead back to her friends and family but she needed a home. Ethan had spent his life taking the role that his siblings needed. He never regret any decision that he had made but he was now ready to move on with his life as his siblings already had. He had always lived in the house with his siblings but now that it was empty he needed to find a home as well. Neither of them were anywhere near having the conversation with each other but they were each on the same page.

"Although I would like to keep you out for hours on end, maybe I should bring you home and we can do something tomorrow?" Ethan mentioned, although not wanting to be taken up on the offer. She was too much fun and he would spend every minute with her but it seemed like too much, too fast and that wasn't going to help their cause.

Emerson was slightly annoyed, shocked but she knew that it was best. "Sure, that sounds good." Heading home, they talked the whole time and before they knew it Ethan had pulled into the driveway. "Well that was faster than I wanted it to be," Ethan sat looking at Emerson with his big brown eyes yearning for more but knowing that this was the best idea for both of them.

"You're right, well goodnight. I had an amazing time," Emerson said leaning over placing one small kiss on his cheek, and before he could grab her face for more she slid out of the car and into the house.

Ethan sat back in his seating watching for Emerson to get into the house. He never understood what happened between them all those years ago but at this point he didn't care. He never forgot her but life went on, his family needed him and he needed to move forward instead of constantly thinking about her and what happened between them. He always believed in karma and it seemed to him that it had started to finally come back around in his favour. Maybe this is what happens when you spend your whole life taking care of others, never taking anything for yourself. Ethan never thought of himself as the 'martyr' type but thinking now that is kind of how his life went. He never minded one bit about what he had missed out on as long as his brothers were able to have the most normal and well-adjusted life he could give them.

Ethan got home, sat in his chair and turned the TV on, mostly for noise so that it would drown out his own thoughts. He thought about his brothers and how happy they are. He thought that it would be great if things worked out this time with Emerson because he really did miss her. He thought that he was over thinking the entire situation but for some reason he couldn't stop. He thought about what the hell was going to top the night that he had spent with the words most amazing girl. He never understood how she could be unbelievably sexy, but so cute at the same time.

He loved how competitive she was, and he never had any reservations about getting his ass kicked by a girl. He actually enjoyed watching how happy she was when she won, fair and square, because although he didn't care about getting his ass kicked he was certainly not going to let that happen easily. He thought maybe he would wait and they could go for dinner, or a movie, or to a club, but she had probably been to a million clubs in her life and he didn't want to mess this up. He didn't get very many second chances and this one he wasn't going to screw up. 
Chapter Six

For a girl who could make anything she ever wanted in life happen, she sure as hell didn't know why she couldn't make her relationships with men work. Emerson woke up expecting a text or call from Ethan yet someone else's number was on her phone.

Hi Emerson,

It's Reid

I hope you don't think that it's too forward of me

But I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee or dinner

While you're still in town?

Let me know

Reid.

Seriously, like for real is this actually happening now. All she wanted to do was scream, but there was too many little kids in the house and she swore that no one was up. She threw her running gear on, grabbed her iPod turning it on loud and headed out to the road. The only thing that would be able to create a mind numbing experience was running and she needed that more than ever at this moment. She needed to process the unbelievable night she had and how she was supposed to understand what the text meant; or if it meant anything at all.

Was Reid wanting a date, or just to catch up as friends. Friends would be great, she always loved having friends but thinking they had never really been men, expect Rich and Josh but that wasn't the same thing. They were her friends' men and that was never a problem because nothing was able to happen with them. But what the fuck was this. Why was this happening now and what the hell was her next move supposed to be? Old Emerson would have texted Reid right back and would be getting ready right now but this Emerson had to think, she really hated that new part of her. She could tell Cori and Isabelle were rubbing off on her but she didn't want to admit it. She was overreacting and she knew it but that didn't mean stopping was easier. She had no idea why she was getting all worked up and was hoping that by the end of this run, she would calm down a little bit.

Finally she stopped because she couldn't think or run anymore. She needed to get her things straight. She would text Ethan letting him know that she was going for coffee with a friend, not because he owned her but because she didn't want Ethan to somehow run into her and Reid and think something was going on, because nothing was happening between them. They were going out as friends, just friends. After convincing herself that was what she was going to do, she turned her music up again and found her way back to Cori's. She got in the house and headed upstairs to grab her phone.

Hey Reid,

Sounds good. Text me when and where

and I'll meet you in an hour.

Emerson

She jumped into the shower, threw herself together which when you looked like her already it took all of three minutes. She put her hair in a braid, brushed some powder on her face, threw on her skinny jeans and plain black t-shirt, which she thought was friend like and certainly not date material, and she snuck out the door before she could get the third degree. Waiting for the taxi she grabbed her phone and sent Ethan a quick text. She wanted to seem as causal as possible but tried to reword the message four or five times before sending:

Hi Ethan,

A childhood friend of mine asked if

I wanted to meet him for coffee and catch up

We are going out this morning but

I'd love to meet you later today

Em

Reid had texted her to meet at a small coffee shop and as the taxi pulled up she got a little nervous. She had done everything she wanted to. She texted Ethan so he wouldn't freak out, more to prevent her own freak out actually, she wore a completely non-date outfit and she had not texted Reid back again after he let her know where. She walked in, looked around for him but she had clearly gotten there first. Grabbing a latte, in a takeout mug, she sat down at the small table near the window. She was there about five minutes before Reid walked through the door.

Emerson did a double take as Reid came around to meet her. He was a lot taller than she remember and he was hot, how was that possible. He had blonde short hair that was messy like he had just gotten out of the shower, his blue eyes were incredible and she only noticed as he was coming closer. He had dark wash jeans and a polo that clung to his clearly toned body. He smiled and Emerson almost choked on her coffee trying to smile back. This was seriously not happening. When she saw him the other day he was not this good looking, or was he and she was just stuck with Ethan tunnel vision?

Before she knew it, he was standing in front of her and she needed to remember to actually pay attention to what he was saying. "Hey Emerson, it's really good to see you," Reid said as he came and gave Emerson a hug. His toned arms grabbed her waist and held her tight for a second before letting her go. Emerson tried to hide how flustered she was but she couldn't tell if it was working.

"I'm sorry I'm late but I see you got yourself a coffee, is there anything else I could get you?" Reid said, heading up to grab something. "Um no thanks, and seriously it's no problem I only got here a couple minutes ago. Grab yourself a coffee and I'll sit back over here." Emerson said watching his unbelievably amazing ass walk away.

Emerson sat back down shaking her head and immediately pulled her hair out of the braid. All she could think was that she was getting Punk'd and this really wasn't Reid. This really couldn't be happening to her and she certainly wasn't sure what her next move was, but for the first time it was okay and she seemed to relax.

Reid was making his way back and Emerson started to get warm again. Damn him, and paying attention. She immediately couldn't believe how wrapped up she was with Ethan the first time she had seen Reid, because dear lord this guy was HOT.

"Alright so what's new? I remember you said that you're still modeling so are you going back to the city soon or are you staying here for a while?" Reid said sipping his coffee. Shit he even did that and made it sexy, she thought she was the only one who could do that. "Yeah good memory and I'm not sure. I'm kind of playing it by ear. How about you, how's the residency going?" Making small talk, keep it away from the personal relationship stuff, good plan.

"It's busy but I love it. Actually yesterday I was asked to stay on at the hospital, so I'm pretty happy about that." Reid seemed genuine and interested in their conversation and she liked that. So much of her conversations were one sided and only to get what they needed from her, never to listen to anything she had to say.

"Wow that's incredible. Congratulations."

"Thanks. I can't believe it. I guess hard work pays off but you already know that."

Emerson laughed, "That's for sure. Your mom must be thrilled."

"Yeah my whole family is pretty excited. I have to tell you though, I don't know what my mom is more excited about, my job or me being here with you."

Emerson blushed and looked to the side as she moved her hair away from her face. "Well that's nice of her. Reid I have to tell you, I'm seeing someone right now and I don't want to give you the wrong impression."

Reid looked at her and smiled taking what seemed like the longest sip of coffee ever before he responded back. "Of course, thanks for the honesty and I figured that we were here as just friends."

Emerson relaxed a bit more, letting a big exhale out and looked right back at him. As she looked into Reid's eyes she couldn't help but stare at him. "Sorry I just can't get over how different you look. You look amazing." Shit, did she just say that out loud? Well now she has to go with it.

Reid looked away and smiled. "Thanks. You always look amazing but I'm sure you hear that all the time. How's your family doing?"

Emerson and Reid spent two hours at the coffee shop before realizing what time it was. They had talked about everything that she could think of, trying to get an idea of what he was like now and she thought he had been doing the same. There was a nice familiarity but there was something new and interesting about it. When they were kids, the played like regular kids did, outside, running around and they had no time to build a real friendship because she would be gone longer than she would be home. Emerson was getting an uneasy feeling. She certainly hadn't decided that she and Ethan were exclusive, that's why she was here, but she also wasn't sure how well she would do with dating two guys. She had done it years before, but this was a new woman and she wasn't sure how well she could handle it. They had become two very different people from when they knew each other but it was nice to hear about how they changed and she seemed to become more interested on him as their date had gone on.

"Emerson it was really great seeing you. Hopefully we can do this again before you head back to the city," Reid said leaning in a planting an innocent kiss on Emerson's cheek.

"Yah it was great seeing you and sure that sounds great. I'll let you know when I'm free and we'll try to meet up before I head back." Crap, crap, crap, she couldn't see him again, it was too dangerous. She needed to go back to Ethan, see how that went and if the feelings were the same as last night she would know what the right thing was, right?

Reid walked away and Emerson sat back down, grabbed her phone and texted the two most important people in here life three important letters...

S.O.S
Chapter Seven

Emerson sat there, head swirling faster than she knew how to handle it, and most importantly she did not know if she should have this reaction after two dates; one amazingly fun one with Ethan and one very interesting one with Reid. She was certainly not in a relationship with either of them, so why the hell was she so worked up. The old Emerson would have been having the time of her life with this and enjoying every minute of it, which is kind of what she should be doing right now but for some reason she was a nervous wreck. She was becoming confused which meant she had two options: one was simply to pick one man and the other to make a change in one of the relationships. Deciding was never Emerson's strong suit and she hated doing anything that wasn't the nicest option. But why was she forcing herself to make this decision now, she had time, and it might be a good idea to go out with at least one of them again before freaking out, but for some reason she couldn't figure out how to stop worrying. Unfortunately she was not in the best place to make any choice and she knew she had changed, but she could not decide how much and exactly had changed. Wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn't even notice that her friends had made it there already. Emerson didn't even know where to start, and questions flew faster than the speed of light. Not knowing where to start or which question to answer first, Emerson tried to exhale. She didn't know what the hell she was supposed to do or feel at this moment. She wanted to stop, walk away from everything, and head straight back to New York where the only life she knew how to live was there.

"STOP!" Emerson screamed before she knew that she had done it.

Isabelle looked over with a look that Emerson had never seen before. Isabelle slowly got up and walked over to Emerson. Unsure of what was about to happen, Isabelle wrapped her arms around Emerson and held her tight.

Exactly what she needed at that moment, "Guys I don't know what happened. Reid was," she paused not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

"Unexpected," Isabelle said walking back to her seat.

"Yeah I think so I just don't even, I can't even, ugh I hate this. I literally have no words," something that was generally not a problem. Expecting an 'I told you so' from both Cori and Isabelle, she was happily surprised when neither of them said anything. "What you guys aren't going to say anything like 'I told you so'?"

Cori looked at Isabelle and said "Of course not, we can tell you really didn't expect any of this."

"The worst part is the text I sent to Ethan this morning was truthful and now I'm supposed to meet him this afternoon. What the hell am I supposed to tell him? I...I...just, I feel defeated." Emerson sank into her chair and threw her head back closing her eyes hoping that someone would just tell her the right answer. Both girls knew that she needed a minute and let it go before Isabelle said anything.

"I know. I don't know what to tell you and we can both tell you don't understand what is going on. I think you need to see Ethan tonight and have a good, care free time, because if you don't, you won't be able to function."

Staying exactly how she was, Emerson finally opened her eyes back up, "I know I just don't know what I'm going to say."

Cori interrupted her before she could attempt to work anything out in her head. "Okay here's the deal. What happened today? You and Reid had coffee, you had unexpected feelings for him because he's hot, and now you're over exaggerating everything. No offense and you know I love you, but you need to calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen and you need more time with each of them to be like you are now. If you want to stay with Ethan, than stay with Ethan; if you want Reid, than start something with him but if you don't know step back, go out with both of them and most importantly don't lie. Lying will get you in way more trouble and we think you're anxious now; you won't be able to handle yourself if you get in over your head. But take a seat, get ready and go see Ethan."

In true Isabelle style, she couldn't let someone rant and not get in a word edge wise. "And just because you have some kind of feelings for Reid doesn't mean you don't have feelings for Ethan. They're too separate things and you just need to take some time getting to know both of them again before you can make a decision."

Cori and Isabelle made a lot of sense and seemed have calmed her down for the time being. She was not quite sure if it was their understanding explanations or their tone that calmed her but she did not care. She just wanted to go on her day life normal, meet Ethan and snuggle into his arms for the night.

The girls fell into their normal routines quickly and Emerson did as she pleased for the time that they were away from her that day. Part of her wanted to go back to New York, and the other part struggled to figure out what the next best move was but she did have to answer that question. Cori had a big enough house and never seemed to let on that she minded Emerson staying there for long periods of time. She liked it there, the small town was refreshing, certainly nothing like New York but she had a sense of community that she would never have in New York. People did what they wanted when they pleased and for a long time that was all she wanted from her own life. She never needed to worry when she was coming home or that someone was waiting for her or that she forgot something. She was free to do what she wanted whenever she wanted to do it and certainly the biggest perk was that she was able to grab everything and leave at the drop of a hat. That was the only things he would miss if she moved. Thinking again she would not have to worry about that if she was still alone, but that was not something she wanted to be. She wanted to be with someone and she wanted it to be easy. She wanted the relationship to come just like the rest of her life, simple on a silver platter that was handed to her with whatever she pleased on it. She never understood why people did not have that life and why everything took so much work. Nothing she ever did seems like work and truly she never really had to think about anything or anyone but herself. She liked it that way, but she was not sure what she liked anymore. Being here changed her more than she thought. She was constantly surrounded by people, family, friends, children and people who loved harder that she had ever seen. Emerson wanted more and more time with Ethan but she did not want to lose time with Reid either. She wanted to have both and the sheer thought of that reminded her of the old Emerson who could not decide on anything or anyone. She wanted to be carefree and that's what she did. She did not worry about anything or anyone when she worked and now that she decided to stop modeling herself she wanted to settle into something real. The question was, did she know what real was.

Her alarm interrupted what seemed to be hours of self indulgence and clarity at the same time. She quickly got ready which tonight included yoga pants and a cute purple shirt that held her curves in the proper way while looking like she had just thrown it on and did not have to worry about it. She took her hair out of a ponytail grabbing her perfume and spraying it gently all over her hair and neck. She did not have to look like a million bucks but she certainly had to smell amazing. That was her signature move but no one needed to know that. All they needed to know was that she was constantly intoxicating. She threw her shoes on and out the door she went. She was stopped at the end of the driveway expecting a taxi to come and pick her up but something else pulled up.

Stepping back startled Emerson looked inside the car, "Reid, what are you doing here?"

Reid smiled back at her making her heart flutter, "Hi Emerson, I was actually just passing through the neighbourhood and I honestly had no idea that you would be around here. Heading out?"

"Actually yah, I'm going to Ethan's." Oh shit, she thought, probably not the best thing.

"Ethan?" Reid looked confused but certainly not surprised.

Without thinking Emerson just gave the first answer that came to her mind trying to over think the problem. "Yah he and I are kind of seeing each other."

Knowing that she caught Reid off guard, she kind of hoped that she didn't ruin whatever was happening between them. "Ah I see why you were keeping our coffee a "friend date"

Emerson blushed and did not really know what to say. Just as she was about to speak the unthinkable happened. She knew the car that was slowly pulling into the driveway but part of her did not want to believe that this could actually be happening. She stood there stunned, because she really didn't know what else to do. This should not be freaking her out this much. Slow down, she thought to herself, be honest and open with both of them and things will just come in time. That's what she hoped at least, but this could go her way if she just relaxed into their relationships, like she did on the dates, and she would be fine. Just as she was engulfed in her own thoughts she was startled by Reid, "It's okay Emerson, I'll get going. I'll see you around." Just as Emerson turned towards the other car, losing complete interest in her conversation with Reid, "Uh yah sure," she managed to spit out before noticed Reid pulled away and Emerson was not really sure what had just happened, but she wanted to just crawl back into the house.

"Hello love." Ethan said picking her up and kissing her on the cheek, "you ready?"

That was a question she did not have the answer too....

"Ugh ya let's go," she instantly was hoping that she was making the right decision and she figured the only way to find out was tonight.
Chapter Eight

"Em, is everything okay? Was that guy making you uncomfortable?" Ethan said grabbing her hand, placing it into his as he looked over searching her face for the real answer.

Emerson could see Ethan's worry and a smile slowly slid across her face before she could answer.

"On no. That was Reid. He's a childhood friend and the man I met for coffee this morning. I had thought it was odd at first, him showing up seeing as I've never told him where I was staying but he said that he was passing through to see and old friend and..."

"Well a beauty like you, standing out here, is hard to miss. Why are you standing out by the road anyway?" Ethan said settling back down.

Emerson blushed and replied before she embarrassed herself anymore. "You're too sweet, and to wait for a cab to take me to your place. Why didn't you tell me you were coming here?"

"Surprise, I know that you like them." Ethan said as they headed to the car.

Emerson felt a calm slide over her body, as long as she was with Ethan it would be okay. They could relax and have a wonderful time together, but surprises were always hard for her as she felt unprepared. "Oh well I'm not dressed to go out anywhere, I thought we were going to watch a movie?"

Ethan looked her up and down and smiled on the side of his mouth before stepping close to her and whispering in her ear. "Well you could've fooled me and we are. I just thought we might grab some things for making dinner together." Shivers went down Emersons' back and she could feel the sexual tension between them.

"Ethan, I'm a terrible cook..."this was going to be horrifying as Ethan opened the door and Emerson climbed in.

"Don't worry I'm not good either. I was thinking we grab stuff to make our own pizza." Emerson felt better about the cooking, pizza was easy enough.

"Seriously that rocks, I don't have to be utterly humiliated because you really can't screw up pizza. Ethan just don't let me touch the oven...burning things is my speciality."

Ethan laughed as they headed into the store grabbing her hand and a cart.

Ethan could not believe how amazing Emerson smelt. She had curled herself into a ball under his arm placing her head on his shoulder. They had a blast making pizza and cleaning up talking the whole time of how they have changed and it seemed like getting to know each other all over again. Neither of them seemed to mind and Ethan, being a gracious host he was, sent her to pick the movie. Fortunately for him, they had the same taste in movies.

Ethan had seen it a million times but even if it was something he had not seen he would have been as distracted as he was now. She was beyond beautiful, sexy as all hell even when she wasn't trying to impress anyone. She moved her hair out of her eyes in one swift movement the intoxicating smell filled Ethan to the point where there was no hope in finishing the movie. Ethan mindlessly moved his thumb up and down her arm brushing it as lightly as he could. He moved his fingers slowly though the bottom of her hair inhaling the smell with every breathe. He was not sure if it was affecting her in the same way but he could barely contain himself at this point. Slowly she adjusted her body towards him, moving closer making the sexiest sigh he had ever heard. He did not want to go so fast but their attraction was uncanny and he had never let a day go by without thinking of her and how stupid he had been for letting her slip away.

Ethan slowly brushed the hair to one side of her neck running his fingers slowly through it. She moved her neck acknowledging him and from his understanding inviting more. Ethan slowly placed his mouth close to her skin, without touch it, running his lips close to her ear he whispered

"With the way you look tonight, this movie never stood a chance." Ethan placed a kiss below her ear before he felt her head slowly turn towards him. He moved his body with hers placing a hand in her hair, grasping the back of her head and let the other trail down to rest on the small of her back. Feeling her body melt into his, he kissed her deeper flicking his tongue against hers. Suddenly there was no movie, there was nothing but her and she moved her body perfectly with his. His hands moving with hers as she slowly pushed his shirt off. Pushing the hair behind her ear, Ethan began to kiss her neck all the way down making a soft moan escape her lips. "Oh God", Ethan growled. He had killed to hear that again and it was better than he had imagined. He moved his body towards hers showing how ready he was for her and she immediately inhaled knowing exactly what was to come.

Slowing their bodies and breathe, Ethan took in every minute of her overwhelming beauty as she smiled and kissed him one last time before collapsing onto of his chest.

"Ethan, that was..." Ethan interrupted her as he grabbed a blanket pulling it over top of them.

"I know what you mean. I just can't manage to resist you or damn well keep my hands off of you." They both laughed knowing how true that really was.

Neither of them wanted to move. This is where they wanted to be, belong actually and he could not believe it had been as long as it really had. This was the only clear thing that made sense between them and just as he did not want to finish that thought, Emerson interrupted him,

"Ethan I'm just worried that history will repeat itself." Emerson said as she mindlessly moved her hands up and down his arm. Ethan loved when she did that and that she could voice the way she was feeling at all times. Ethan looked into those perfect eyes and he fell back in love with her like he had before. He was worried that it was too fast or too crazy but there was always an ease between them.

"Em, I can feel it's different. You've changed, I've changed and this time nothings stopping us or standing in the way. There are no excuses that we can back out of this with and I don't want to."

Ethan was worried about the guy in the car but knew he couldn't be a threat, while until she brought it up. "I have to be completely honest then. When I went for coffee this morning with Reid, something felt different. I don't know what it was but I just have to tell you. There's nothing going on between him and I and truthfully our mothers are creating all of these "by chance" happenings. I think I was freaked out because I don't want anything to ruin this," Emerson finished as she raised her head kissing him softly.

He was blown away by the new woman lying on his chest. The old Emerson would have begged for more, she would not have admitted the weird feelings that she had just for having coffee with someone she had known for a long time. In fact she would not have texted him letting him know that she was going in the first place. The old Emerson would have been out of Pennsylvania way before now and there would have never been stuck here for any reason.

Ethan could not help but look at her and it was hard not to stare, her body was perfectly shaped. Her legs longer than anyone he knew. Her stomach flat and her breasts perfect. Her brown hair lay perfectly on her back and her eyes were definitely her most stunning feature. And as they stared straight into his, he knew,

"This time will be different. I'm not leaving and I'll put a fight against anyone trying to take you away." Kissing her softly this was the first time in his life he believed in those words and would stand by them no matter what.
Chapter Nine

Emerson sat there thinking to herself. It was quiet and peaceful for the moment and that was something New York never was. She sat on the porch, after her attempts at sleep did not go so well thanks to the incredible night with Ethan. Even saying his name made her smile, she thought, beginning to remember every detail of the night before. She enjoyed every minute of it. The memory of his touch, the way he tasted and smelled was setting a warm fire through her and she didn't ever want that to stop. Something incredible had happened yet this morning she couldn't help but think of Reid, what the hell was wrong with her. Reid had gotten under her skin and she couldn't figure out why, when and most importantly how to stop it. Someone had told her once, that life is a series of choices. Every one of them is uncertain and there is no right or wrong answer. Each choice made was just one step in the direction that you want your life to go in. She'd always wondered why we had to make the choices at all. She was the one who never thought twice, going with her gut but something wasn't letting her do that. That wise person also said you must make a choice that doesn't fit into your life, it's "good" for you. The minute you make that choice, you learn from it and you move on knowing and not wondering what if. Emerson had always lived by that but this decision was one she couldn't bring herself to make in the first place.

She exhaled, took a sip of coffee, grabbed her phone and opened her messages.

Reid

It was great seeing you the other day

Just wondering if you want to meet for lunch?

Let me know!

Emerson

Hoping this was a good decision she it send and took a big breath. Not wanting to say anything to her friends, she didn't want to hear her opinions either way, she got them up and discussed the night before.

"You did what? He what?" Isabelle said stunned, then quickly realizing that she couldn't be.

"I don't know, it just happened..." Emerson said attempting to shrug it off like it was no big deal. It was a HUGE deal and she knew it.

"Sure it did"

"Well I say hell yes!" Cori said, high fiving Emerson as she walked to the kitchen.

"I knew someone would be on my side. Isabelle I have a favour to ask."

Isabelle rolled her eyes, just like she always did, "I'm always on your side but of course what do you need?"

Emerson paused smiling at her friend before asking "I need to talk to Josh." Both girls turned their heads so fast they thought the room was spinning.

"Ugh, Sure. When did you need to see him? I believe he's teaching until 3 today. I've got to go home soon anyway; I'll tell him to text you where to meet him."

Emerson though of so many inappropriate ideas from Isabelle's last statement but couldn't bring herself to utter one of them. Isabelle was helping her and she thought, for once, she should behave. She loved her friends but there was no denying Josh was seriously hot. The way he talked, the way her stood there, how nice he was, his body. It was hard to be in a room with him for her at first but she leaned to live with it. Plus the fact that he looked like he had just walked off the pages of a magazine all the time, she found it a slight distraction.

"Perfect, thank you," Emerson hugged Isabelle as Cori let out a huge laugh.

"Seriously there were so many comments to make from Isabelle's statement and you didn't make one?" Cori shook her head and nudged Isabelle.

Emerson smiled and winked at Cori over Isabelle's shoulder.

"Alright well I better get going, I'll let Josh know." Isabelle called back into the house as she left to go run errands.

"See you Izzy and thanks again." Emerson called after her, hoping that she heard it. Turning back to Cori and their conversation, Emerson heard her phone go off. Not sure if she wanted to look at it, she grabbed it and it was exactly what she had thought, and her pulse began to race.

Emerson

Would today work?

Reid

She smiled and replied back without thinking, which was what she thought was best from now on, just going with her gut instinct.

Sure! When and where?

Putting her phone back in her pocket, she turned back to Cori,

"Cori, I can get a hotel room. It looks like I might be here for awhile."

"Seriously, don't make me slap you" Cori said half kidding, as she continued to wash the dishes.

Emerson hugged her knowing that she would say that.

"Em I've got all kinds of things to do today and Rich has the kids out. Are you alright?"

"Yah I'm going to go for lunch and meet Josh later. Have fun and don't worry about me."

Emerson didn't lie, well not completely. She wanted this to be her decision even if her friends cared and meant well. She'd ask for help when she needed to. She got ready and headed out to meet Reid. She didn't want to seem over anxious so she threw on jeans, black flats and her absolute favourite top. Grabbing a cab, she was there just in time and found Reid sitting at their table. Walking over she smiled and waved.

Reid

Breathe, just breathe.

In and out, yep that's it, and focus on what she's saying.

Yah that might be important you moron.

Come on breathe and listen, breathe and listen. It's not rocket science.

"Seriously, how is it possible that she's even sexier than the last time he saw her", Reid thought to himself as she walked closer. "Breathe, she is just a girl, she asked you to lunch, just breathe." Slowly but surely he came to his senses and relaxed into their conversation. Although no looking like it anymore, thanks to braces, hours and hours at the gym and a brand new wardrobe, Reid still always felt out of place and a little nerdy.

Something and somewhere inside him was a 17 year old boy who couldn't do anything without getting rejected. He starred at her, occasionally looking elsewhere, giving her compliments and moving the conversation from him back to her whenever he felt uncomfortable He was constantly nervous around her even though they had known each other for a long time.

"Wow, you look beautiful," he said as he stood up and kissed her on the cheek before pulling out her chair and pushing it back in again. Good start buddy, not focus on your date, he thought before trying to be as easy as possible. "How was your date with Ethan?" he hoped that it wouldn't be an inappropriate question but what the hell. She looked up and him and smiled, "It was nice, thank you. So what have you been up to since I've seen you last?" She had batted her eyelashes at him, that was a good thing right, girls only did that if they liked someone. "It's been good, my hours at the hospital have gotten busier but it's what I love so I don't think about it as work." She laughed, okay this can't be going that bad, he thought. "Isn't that the best? That's what I love about what I do. I can still stay in touch with all the modeling, and I do shoots here and there but being behind the scenes is also kind of cool. I almost like it more." He was startled, "You don't miss modelling," he stuttered out. "I mean I can imagine being behind the scenes is interesting and brings a whole new outlook on something that you've done your whole life but I can't imagine leaving the ER to do something else in the hospital." She nodded and he thought about what he had said it was true; he loved that ER more than anything ever. "Your right and I think that we have very different jobs, but one day, when you want your life to slow down just a bit, without stopping, and its okay to step just a bit back."

There banter had gone on and it was becoming increasingly more relaxed with a lot more flittering on both sides than he had imagined. It made this whole thing a lot easier and lunch went by too fast and before he knew it, he was saying goodbye. It was nice, talking about the old days, catching up on what was new, figuring out if she had any interest at all, that wasn't so fun, but she must have because she was there and having lunch.

This was real right?

"Will I see you again?" he said desperately hoping her answer would be yes. Before she could answer he nervously butted in

"I want to take you to this amazing place I found. It's only a few hours away. This weekend maybe."

His heart was racing, he swore time had stopped and was permanently frozen. His hands were clammy, he could feel how heavy he was breathing and then his heart officially stopped.

"Actually, sure I'm free Friday for a day trip."Emerson smiled and he thought that his heart dropped between the look on her face and the fact she said yes.

'A day trip' ran though his mind.

"Okay sure. I'll let you know the details by Thursday. See you then"

"Okay, bye Reid. It was lovely to see you again," she said walking away and looking back only once.

"You too" he whispered to himself. Watching her leave the restaurant, he immediately fell back into his seat.

Day trip, I can do this. Stay calm, plan everything out and then let her know the details. He repeated over and over in his head as he paid the check and drove home. He hoped that he had come off suave and cool, but he must have because she said yes to another date.

Sitting in front of his computer, he took one long, deep breathe.

"Let's do this" as he began to plan out what had to be the most perfect day.
Chapter Ten

Emerson was excited leaving the restaurant. She had a lovely lunch with Reid. The two of them had always gotten along even as young kids. She wasn't sure how to sort the whole thing out anyway but she was glad that she was on her way to meet Josh. Emerson had decided to walk to the coffee shop feeling relief she was meeting Josh, guilt over her lunch, and she had began to slowly remember the night before. Getting all hot and bothered before meeting with Josh is not a good idea, she said to herself walking through the door.

"Hi darling", Emerson was startled turning around and there he was. Holy hell he was hot, leaning against the door, his shirt had rose up just enough for her to see the perfect V of his lower abs making her day dream about seeing the rest.

"Hi Josh" she said throwing her arms around his neck squeezing as hard as she could but she was still no match for his strength.

"Well, I grabbed your coffee, let's sit," Josh said walking them over to a small table in the corner of the room.

"How are you? How was class?"

"It was fine, Isabelle seemed concerned about you and I know you want to talk. I can see it in those big brown eyes, so spill little lady."

At that moment she let her guard down and spilled everything to josh. About her and Ethan, how she was unsure of what to do. How she had just accepted an invitation to go out with Reid and how all the way here she'd thought about Ethan. She told him how it was difficult to talk to the girls and she thought he'd be the best to ask.

He nodded, taking a big sip of coffee and looking at her with those eyes she started to melt. He thought for a moment before he began.

"Well clearly I'm the best to ask and I understand the girls but you have to remember that they love you and only want the best for you. Okay now for the man drama. Well you know I love Ethan. He's an incredible man who absolutely adores you so I see nothing wrong there. And clearly you two are great together. Now Reid. That's tricky. It's a blessing and a curse because you two have history but you and Ethan also have your own history. You're clearly attracted to both men, and me," he said winking at her as she attempted to hide how much she was blushing at the moment.

"What! Anyway, I say you go out with both of them. Be honest, the minute you lie you lose them both. I'd tell you to follow your heart and all that cheese but I think you are shit outta luck here sweetheart. So follow your head. Don't ask questions, take chances, don't be afraid to fall in love but more importantly don't be afraid to let them love you."

Emerson sat back and smiled.

"I knew you were the right one to talk to."

"Duh" Josh's lazy smile and the sex that oozed out of him anytime he spoke almost killed Emerson. No matter how many times she talked to him, it was still impossible to not think of him as anything but a walking sex god.

"Well I really appreciate it, everything's been so jumbled in my own head and all these thoughts have been eating at me." Emerson said finishing up her coffee and looking at the time, they had been out for 3 hours and she probably needed to get back at some point. Explaining coffee with Josh, easy. Explaining lunch with Reid, not so much.

"No problem. You're one of my friends too and let's say that we probably wouldn't be here now if I wouldn't have taken a chance on Isabelle and we both know how well that worked out." Josh said grabbing his coat and sliding it over his body, damn his body, don't drool Emerson.

"Oh, no, a hot piece of ass like you, I would've found you somehow," placing a devilish grin on her face licking her lips before slowly drinking her coffee. "But yes, I suppose you're right."

"So Emerson, go with Reid and see how the day is. Then go with Ethan, he's got something planned as well but I'm sworn to secrecy on that one. And when it's all said and done, stop and think hard. If you need me, call but don't run away. We will figure this out together because Em all I really want is for you to be happy and find the right person to do that for you. I know you have him in one of these guys, you just need to let go and be open to it actually happening."

"Are you always this smart?"

Josh winked and her heart fluttered, "Always."

Just then Emerson's phone went off

EM

Next weekend, you me and

a surprise getaway

I won't be taking no for an

Answer and I'll also be seeing you

before then.

Call me later.

E

"Seriously, where is Ethan taking me?" Emerson looked shocked as if the two of them had planned this whole thing together. Men, she thought.

"He messaged you?" Josh said laughing to himself as he was walking away.

"Damn you" she laughed knowing how devious and sexy both of them were, definitely a deadly combo.

"Go have fun, you need it but seriously don't run after and go tell Ethan you'd love too and that you'll see him tomorrow. I've gotta go, Dad duties call." He got up and hugging her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Bye Em, go have fun!"

"Dad duty suits you and these kids are damn lucky to have you. Thank you."

"Anytime, darlin'" and with that he was gone and she was alone. She sat down, grabbed her phone and sent the text she'd been waiting to send.

Ethan

I can't wait

Josh wouldn't tell me

anything

Can I see you tomorrow?

EM : )

Her phone blinked

Oh hell yes –E.

A smiled immediately grew on her face. There was nothing he could do that wouldn't make her smile. She decided to walk back to Cori's and hopefully keep this clarity thing going. Things were only going to get more complicated over the next few weeks but Josh was right. No running. Friday was only a few days away and she could only be excited about one thing at a time. First it was to see Ethan again, although she had to tell him about going with Reid. She knew that if she failed to tell him, she'd be in big trouble by her friends, Josh included
Chapter Eleven

Emerson barely slept; actually she didn't sleep at all. She rushed home to tell Cori, who immediately called Isabelle and they all decided an emergency shopping trip was in order. Emerson confessed about the day trip with Reid that was coming up but her friends were very good about keeping their opinion to themselves. Part of her wanted them to butt in as they usually, did but it was nice to have a day of shopping and nothing else. After a few hours of shopping, she'd gotten everything she needed, luggage, new clothes, some new shoes, and the ultimate in sexy lingerie. She packed as her friends pulled price tags and stickers off all her new things.

"You know when I get back; I should probably go back to New York." Emerson said as she zipped up her suitcase.

"Don't even think about it. You're staying right here until you figure everything out." Cori stated and Emerson knew not to mess with her best friend.

"Well at least let me pay you something." Emerson went to grab her purse knowing that she had some money in it. Cori looked at her giving her the ugliest eye she had ever seen and Emerson immediately put down her purse and backed away.

"Seriously woman, it's not like you eat. I have plenty of room and our kids love seeing you, plus it's great to have an extra pair of hands. How about you babysit for each of us, one night? Sound fair?" She loved how democratic Cori was and hell babysitting the girls' kids was no work, they loved her and she adored them.

"Of course you know I love those kids but it's not equal yet." Emerson needed to come up with something else but it would have to be very secretive as it wasn't easy to help her friends. Cori just rolled her eyes and continued folding the laundry.

"Okay we'll keep working on that."

Emerson had gone over everything in her mind and the next few days were busy. Tonight with Ethan, Friday with Reid, and then off for the weekend with Ethan. Simple right? Everything about the next few days was going to be stress free, and she was going to enjoy every minute of it. Picking up her suitcase she felt a strong hand slowly wrap its way from her back to her waist.

"You know, I can get that," Ethan said placing a soft kiss behind her ear and Emerson immediately melted into him, completely ready to let her guard down.

As she turned towards him, he placed his hand on her back and used the other to brush the hair away from her face looking into her eyes before crashing their lips together. God she tasted good. It was never going to be enough with her and he was completely okay with that.

"Why thank you. Now where are we going Saturday?" Emerson curled in towards him even more and he immediately felt that staying here was an option, although his plans were pretty damn cool. Ethan laughed, grabbing her suitcase in one hand and her hand in the other.

"Let's say somewhere I'm sure you've never been before. But that's not for another couple of days. I'll leave the suitcase in my car. Now are you hungry?" Watching her squirm was kind of funny, and he enjoyed being the source of her excitement. He grabbed her hand and headed out of the house.

"No I'm good." She just shook her head, what he and Josh had pulled off was pretty epic and he was extremely proud of it. Josh usually didn't divulge information and Ethan wasn't one to put his nose where it didn't belong but this time it was completely worth it.

"Right, now let's hit the road." They drove in silence for awhile, comfortable silence, but he liked it this way. Ethan kept looking over at Emerson noticing that there was something she was thinking about hard. He wanted to know what she was thinking but he wasn't really sure how to ask. Until he decided to blatantly let his exact question out.

"Em, what's on your mind?" Hoping the answer was something he didn't have to worry about.

Emerson looked over at him, smiling "Well it's just I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to get mad, or freak out and I certainly don't want to ruin our little getaway, wherever you're taking me..." her voice trailed off and she looked out the window again.

Ethan could feel his heart beating faster and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to this. "Well I'm not going to promise you that I won't be upset because you've yet to tell me what is going on."

Emerson sat staring out the window at this point, "Well you know that guy Reid"

Ethan nodded. "Well we met for lunch before I met up with Josh."

Ethan immediately felt a sigh of relief, he didn't want to be pompous but seriously that guy had nothing on him. "Okay. He's that guy you've known for a long time."

Finally she looked over at him, he was glad he had remembered that because a soft look came over her face.

"He asked if he could take me somewhere, I'm not sure where but I did tell him it could be fun to go on a day trip." Emerson tried to keep cool and not freak out. Ethan could tell it was bothering her.

"It's not my favourite idea, but you guys have been friends for a long time. I'm not mad but I'm sure as hell happy you told me, does this mean you'll stop worrying over it and enjoy the rest of the day with me?" He looked over at her and after giving the most real and truthful answer he could give, he saw her relax slightly and hoping getting that off her chest would make the rest of the day even more enjoyable.

Emerson leaned over and placed a kiss on his check, "Of course, I just wanted to be honest with you. It's not like I see him the way I see you..."

The cockiest smile slid across his face, he couldn't really stop it and it was slightly out of character but seriously, that other guy didn't stand a chance. "Well now that makes me happy, when are you going?"

Emerson started slowly rubbing her hand up and down his arm and it did something to him that he loved and it distracted him slightly from the answer she was about to give. "The day before we leave, Friday, and like I said I have no idea where we are going." He looked over and couldn't tell if she was excited about it or not but it didn't really matter.

"Well I have the best trip ever planned and you won't believe where I'm taking you. It's probably best that you guys go out before, cause there isn't going to be any getting rid of me after Saturday."

Emerson smiled and her faced eased the worry of telling me was now over. She was happy and thankfully he hadn't planned anything special for tonight. They would still have a great time like they always did but he was pulling out all the stops for the weekend.

That was easier that I thought' Emerson thought to herself turning to the window one last time. She inhaled and turned back to watch Ethan.

"Okay time for some music, and if I remember you don't listen to anything good," Emerson said teasingly as she grabbed her purse. "Luckily for you, I grabbed my music before we left, now let's see", she said scrolling through trying to find something that she really wanted to listen to.

"There it is," connecting her iPod to the car and pressing play. Give Me Love came across the radio and she relaxed into her seat. "Ethan, where the hell are we going?"

He was always good at surprising her with activities she absolutely adored and with the look on his face he was about to do it again. "Did you pack running shoes?"

"What....I think they're in my suitcase. Are you really going to try to race me, 'cause that didn't go so well for you last time." He wasn't seriously taking them to go running somewhere, was it, because if that was the case, he might have lost his touch.

Ethan laughed, "Ugh no, losing once was enough, we are going to Autumn Creek."

Emerson had only seen pictures of this place, and if they had done it any justice it was going to be beautiful. She was lost in the music and her own thoughts, now this date was going to be interesting and clearly going to turn into some kind of competition. That was something about a relationship she craved. She loved healthy competition and it did wonders to see how the other person reacted in the situations. There was always another side to a person and either good or bad but competition brought out the most truthful side. With Ethan it was always good and interesting and something she craved when they were together.

"We are almost there, don't worry." He looked so clamed and collected, like he always did but after she had told him about Reid, she almost expected it to go the other way. She was happy that she was honest and that damn Josh was right, just like he always was.

"I've only heard of it." And she couldn't wait to see it in person.

The talked back and forth about their days, what they were going to do when they got there and Emerson tried so hard to find out where they were going on the weekend but Ethan would not have anything of it.

Just as she asked, yet another time, thinking it would eventually break him, they pulled up to the parking lot. Emerson got out and took the whole scene in. There were tall Evergreen trees growing everywhere she looked, green moss covered the ground and the smell of pine and woodchips filled the air. The ground was covered in mulch and there was an opening to a pathway that led down to the water.

"Are we really going to hike through here?" Emerson said putting her running shoes on.

Ethan began to worry that this wasn't a good idea. He had a slight frown that Emerson immediately noticed.

"Cause if we are I'm so pumped. I can't wait to see how beautiful it is in there." She began to run to the walkway as Ethan yelled for her and laughed as he ran after her. The trails were beyond gorgeous, a wooden walkway ease their hike down through the steep slopes, through the trees that surrounds them and over the small waterfalls that engrossed the side of the hill. As they walked down, Emerson tried to inhale all the beauty, the smell, and the company.

Ethan grabbed her hand, and Emerson slowed down. "Sorry I've been going so fast, but it's beautiful in here, and it smells amazing. I can't wait to see the view at the bottom."

"The view is pretty great right here," and just as Emerson smiled, Ethan pulled her in close as then walked across the bridge. He stopped slowly moving her hair out of her face and kissing her. Emerson was a little surprised at the hunger behind his lips. She wanted him just as bad and their kiss became heated before they heard something brushed through the tree.

"What was that?" Emerson said laughing.

"Nature's reminder that having sex in this very spot is not the best idea..."

"I was starting to think that it was," Emerson said seductively as she kept walking and Ethan was basically stuck in the spot. He needed to get her out of here, and home where they wouldn't be interrupted but there was no way she was leaving till they got to the bottom.
Chapter Twelve

Emerson woke up the next morning and spilled her guts about the night before. It was that moment where she realized living with her best friend was the best!

"The sunset down at the lake was unbelievable, every colour lit the sky as we just stood and watched it. Between that, the amazing hike, and the incredible kiss, it was the perfect night. I kind of don't even want to go with Reid. I just want to go away with Ethan for another day. I don't think two days will be enough now." She was higher than cloud nine and coming down was an option that she didn't want. Cori and Isabelle were so happy for her but she could tell they were getting anxious because today could be a helpful thing or it could be disastrous.

"Easy killer, I think at this rate the two of you will lock yourself into some hotel room and we won't see or hear from you in a week." Emerson thought that might be a great idea and the smile that grew across her face let her friends in on just what she was thinking.

Emerson sat with Harrison on her lap as he giggled and laughed at each time she moved or tickled him. She loved this kid and he got cuter every time she saw him. "Now that sounds like fun doesn't it Harry? Doesn't it?" Emerson placed kisses all over him as she mocked her friends and they just shook their heads.

"Oh Emerson, I'm glad to see you this happy." Isabelle came and hugged her as she moved from one room to the other.

"Thanks Izzy." Emerson smiled at her and then at the adorable child sitting on her lap.

"Now where are you going today?" Cori butted in reminding her of the date with Reid. She almost dreaded it at this point but it couldn't hurt and she was certainly not going to cancel.

"Oh who knows, and truthfully I don't really care." Just as she said that the doorbell rang. Thank god she was ready. "I just can't wait for tomorrow," she said running down the stairs to get the door.

Opening the door she stopped dead in her tracks. Holy hell what happened to him. Reid stood there in a blue shirt that was perfectly fit to his clearly sculpted body. He went to hug her and his shirt rode up just enough for her to see the holy V that cut into his jeans. His hair was tussled as if he had just got out of the shower, spread on some kind of heavenly cologne and drove here.

Just as she hugged him back, "My god you smell good," where the first words to come out of her mouth, before her eyes went huge and she thought about the stupid idea that was. She was going to have to keep her distance for the rest of the day. The way this man looked could only get her into trouble, and maybe he knew that.

They were off on the road before he knew it and this whole small conversation thing wasn't really working. He was uncomfortable all the time around her but he never knew what to do about it and he hoped to god that she couldn't tell. Everything he had done to get ready today had clearly worked and he loved that he had the advantage, even for a moment. She was a goddess on earth and today even in jeans and a t-shirt she still looked like she had just gotten off the runway. She seemed slightly uneasy but he didn't know if that was his projection onto her or if it was the truth.

"Ugh where are we going today?" She said looking out the window and smiling. Okay just answer the question.

"Well I know lots about what you're up to now, I wanted to show you something that I liked to do." Half decent answer, he thought. Just keep breathing, listening and try not to ramble on and you might have a chance. Emerson looked over at him and his heart raced faster, great, this is going to be a long day.

"That sounds like fun." Fun, okay he could work with that.

"We are going to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, I know it's a little bit of a drive but its amazing and it's one thing that I love to do."

Emerson looked interested but he wasn't sure which just made him sweat more. How the hell was he ever going to get comfortable enough to kiss her? He would and he would have to soon because he knew she wasn't going to wait forever and he knew all about Ethan. He didn't like it but it wasn't like he was going to say anything. He could barely keep their small talk going.

Emerson was all about music and its importance in her life had never changed. She couldn't seem to keep conversation going, and it was getting awkward in the car.

"Mind if we put on some music?" Hopefully there wasn't anything that she liked in his car because that would make a decision extremely simple.

"No, go ahead." She could tell he was nervous, which she didn't understand why, they had known each other forever and she was easy enough to talk to. Maybe this was a different Reid than she thought and she was slightly intrigued.

Emerson hit the CD player hoping to hear something she liked. Country music blared across the car and she had to turn it down.

"Oh sorry, I forgot to turn that down the last time."

"Oh it's okay." 'Oh great' Emerson thought to herself, this is going to be one long day. She grabbed her bag, taking her phone out and sending Ethan a quick text.

Last night was beyond perfect,

and by the looks of it,

this is going to be one long ass day.

I can't wait for tomorrow,

Miss you- Em

Hitting send and waiting a minute before putting her phone on silent and away, she wasn't going to be rude, her phone vibrated quietly in her hand. The music had thrown her off but that didn't mean that the day was going to be awful. This could be a lot of fun. She didn't really get to see the city while she came down here so someone who really knew it, showing her around, that wasn't that awful.

Missing you like crazy

Glad to hear that ;)

Try to have a good day

E.

Putting a smile on her face, she threw her phone into her bag, she might not enjoy today like last night but she didn't want to be rude. She could tell Reid was smiling at her and she tried to smile back, hopping that Reid though it was him she was smiling at, not the thought of a weekend with Ethan.

They pulled up to the museum and Emerson was shocked at how beautiful the outside was.

"What's your favourite place in here?" She asked, hoping that the drive home would go better.

"Well I thought we could start there. I like going to the up and coming exhibits. This month it's the Candy-Coated Wonderland, so I think we came at the right time."

Reid looked so happy to have her there and show her the museum, she couldn't help but smile.

"Alright let's go, lead the way." Emerson entered the museum behind Reid and hoped that this was going to be a good day.

Hours had gone by, and he had showed her all of his favourite things in the museum. He loved coming here after he was shown by a friend. Wandering around the whole building always cleared his mind and eased him. He hoped she felt the same way and the date couldn't be going any better.

"Well there is only one more thing I want to show you." Reid said grabbing her hand and leading her to the room he had saved for last. He knew it was breathtaking and it was the only way that he would be able to kiss her and see what happened. The thought of it had been eating him up all day and was unsure of how this was going to go but he only had one shot and he better take it soon. After being wrapped in his own thoughts he noticed that she had slid her hand out of his and that terrified him.

"And what's that?" Emerson said batting her eyes and smiling.

"It's an exhibit called From Nature in the Garden, it's really nice. It's certainly something that you wouldn't have seen before." They walked in complete silence through the crowded halls and it was starting to become uneasy. He was growing more and more nervous as the day went on and he couldn't control it. It had taken over the "good time" he thought he would have today and at this point he wasn't sure if she was interested in him or the museum and he wasn't sure any of her niceness was real. He didn't want to think she was fake and doing him a favour by going with him, certainly that wasn't who she was. He was just so anxious and ready to kiss her and see what would happen, it clouded his whole day. He was only taken out of his own thoughts when he heard her talking.

"Sounds like it. Let's go." Emerson was so irresistible and all consuming to him and she had no idea. He started to wonder what the hell he was thinking and that he didn't stand a chance until they walked into the exhibit and he saw her face. She was just as overwhelmed with it as he was with her. It was beautiful and this was going to be his once chance.

Looking up to the glass flowers that cascaded down from the ceiling, across the walls, and all around the floor, it was beyond beautiful, just like her. Every colour was on display in the intriguing flowers and as the sun shone through the light reflected around the room, creating the most incredible glow around the room. It was stunning and breathtaking and the smell of the real flowers embedded within was intoxicating and so sweet that you couldn't help but close your eyes and breathe them in. The view was just as remarkable, as he watched her explore as she floated around the room, taking in everything and looking close at each flower.

"This is incredible. No wonder you like coming here." Emerson said still absorbed her surroundings and this was it, he thought. "Yeah, it is beautiful." Reid said as he walked towards her. He grabbed her hand slowly and pulled on it until she was standing in front of her. He kissed her before she knew what was going on, he hoped that it was the best option. The kiss was electrifying and he tried to deepen the kiss before her knew what was going on. She immediately stepped away from him and the look on her face made Reid want to run away. "I'm sorry, I just thought...We should go." Emerson said beginning to, while what seemed like run, towards the exit. Great, he thought so I'm a complete idiot.

"Yes we should. I told you about Ethan and I thought we were here as friends." Emerson said as they got into the car after Reid had finally caught up to her.

Emerson's

It had been a long and interesting drive, they had been in complete silence for awhile and when they eased into it, it got a lot better. She enjoyed his company, and his intelligence. He knew some much about so many different things, and she loved learning about all kinds of things. The museum was beautiful from the outside, like a work of art in itself. Grand steps lead itself to large pillars that surrounded the glass doors. The top of the building was so ornate with the smallest details to make the whole feeling even more overwhelming. There were small lights all around and she knew that when they came out at night it was going to be spectacular. Their day was a lot of fun. They went through every exhibit they could and whenever Reid knew something, he would tell her. It made him so much sexier than he already was as he would place his hand on the small of her back and lean in to tell her the amazing facts that he seemed to be full of.

"You must come here often," she asked. "Yes, it's one of my favourite places when I get a day off, there's always something new and interesting and there's nothing better than learning about it." As she was fascinated by each work, she hadn't even noticed that he had slipped his hand into hers. It was nice actually, and it felt comfortable to be with him, in one of his many elements. They walked around for hours, sitting only once to have a small lunch of coffee and sandwiches, nothing special but it was delicious and so was her company.

They had fallen into a rhythm as they would enter new exhibits and read the cards telling them all about it until they had left what Reid seemed to be the best for last. The pulled her across the museum to the From Nature in the Garden exhibit, and he really did save the best for last. She was completely breathe-taking wanting to look at every single flower in its glorious and intricate detail. She had been so taken by the whole exhibit that she didn't even notice Reid's closeness. All of a sudden she had been turned around and he had kissed her, pretty intensely and she stepped back and wanted to run out of the museum and to the car.

It wasn't the worse kiss and it certainly wasn't unwelcome, she had figured it was going to happen sooner or later but there was a fight or flight instinct that set in immediately and apparently her choice was flight. She hoped that she hadn't completely destroyed their nice day but at this point she just wanted to get home. Apparently easing into both relationships did eventually point her in the right direction. There just wasn't the same thing between her and Reid that was there with Ethan and she needed to talk it out with someone.

Ethan

We are leaving now

Be at Cori's in an hour

We need to talk and I can't stay there tonight

Em

Em,

okay-E

Alright now that was taken care of. Just for this long drive home.
Chapter Thirteen

Reid's mind was spinning the entire ride home. What had he done wrong? Their day had gone just the way he wanted it to, he seemed to see her signals and she seemed interested the whole day. Why did the kiss not go as planned and why was this the world's most awkward drive home? Should he say something, and what the hell is he going to do now? There was a small picture that hung on his wall near the door so that every day he could walk by it and remember how he should live his life.

Kiss Slowly

Play Hard

Forgive Quickly

Take Chances

Give Everything

and Have No Regrets

At this moment in time he was kicking that stupid motto out of his head. He had done all these things and more with Emerson and yet here they were, on their way home, not speaking, and hating both themselves and each other. Reid thought he definitely had a leg up on the hating himself thing but you never know, at this point he was damn sure she was hating herself for even bothering with this date and especially for kissing him. He should've known better when she said he was seeing someone else, but she didn't say it was her fiancé and if he was going to have a fighting chance he would have had to do something bold like he did. Not once in his mind did he think it was going to backfire like it did. Although thinking about it now, he did know why he ever thought that. Sure he had confidence in some areas of his life but with women wasn't one and he sure as hell didn't have any confidence when it came to her, so why did he think kissing her like that would work. Completely confused and feeling quite sorry for himself, he just sat there until he couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Um, Emerson, I'm really sorry." He turned to look at her but she stared outside the window.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Her voice was ice cold and she never met his gaze.

"I don't know what came over me; I thought we had a good day?" Reid was completely defeated and didn't know what to do. It was so out of his comfort zone; maybe he should stay in the ER and do what he was best at.

"We did but it's complicated. Look I really like you and as you know, I'm seeing Ethan as well. I don't know what happened back there. It's not like I didn't like the kiss and I knew it was going to happen, just something in me wasn't expecting it and I just don't know how to explain anything right now, I'm really sorry!" She just looked away and she could tell that Reid could not understand and he certainly wasn't the type of guy that would pull some stunt of pulling over the car and forcing her to look at him and explain. He wished he was but unfortunately he wasn't.

"We'll I'm still sorry." He was searching for any kind of thing that would make her forgive him and that didn't seem like it was going to happen.

"I got that, and it's cool, and I believe you but I think we should just drop it." Yah, definitely nothing, and she could see that she had hurt him bad, it was all over his face, but he didn't say anything, dropping it just like she had asked him to.

She sat there hating herself and hating what had happened, just because her instincts picked one guy, she didn't have to be a bitch but being cold and disconnected was the only way to get through this drive. She had to tell Ethan what happened and then she needed to talk to her friends to find out the best course of action and how to go about this the right way.

The longest ride home, just got even longer. Reid didn't know what to say or how to say it. He just sat there and hoped he hadn't been an idiot and ruined a long friendship. He wanted so desperately for her to love him that he didn't know what he was going to do. That's when it hit him, there was a possibility that he wanted the "girlfriend" and not necessarily her, but she was so beautiful how could he not. He wasn't the type of guy that wanted the hot and sexy model strung on his arm, he didn't have an ego to support that. It was just easy, they had already kind of known each other which meant they had something to talk about, making their conversations easier and she was always nice. This whole thing was a disaster and as he got to the driveway and she opened the door in record time.

"Reid, thanks for the trip, it was fun. Hope we can still be friends but I don't know if we should hang out for awhile," and with that she was gone. Reid sat for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do before he decided to drive away. He might need a bit to recover but he was really going to have to think if it was her he wanted or if he just wanted a girlfriend. The second one didn't make him a bad person but it could be the truth and with that he knew forcing something, like he tried to do wasn't the best option and this is exactly how it was supposed to end with that approach. He would be okay, he knew he would, but right now focusing on his confidence and his work was the most important, and with that thought, he was gone.
Emerson

Breathe, Emerson, Breathe. Okay Ethan is here.

"Em?" She ran as fast as she could but instead of hugging him she just stood in front of him. She could feel the tears start behind her eyes and she was hoping that this wouldn't ruin anything. She liked Reid, and the kiss wasn't awful but Ethan was, well Ethan and at that moment she was beyond confused.

"Em is everything okay? Seriously you're freaking me out." She couldn't settle her breathing between running and not wanting what she had to tell him to break them up. He grabbed her arm, pulling her in and holding her so softly that she almost wanted to cry with the guilt inside of her but she didn't. Emerson didn't cry and she certainly didn't want to start now.

"Ethan, I have something to tell you." She looked so sad and upset and he would do anything to make it stop.

"Okay, what is it that's making you this upset."

"Well, I had a great day with a friend and then he kissed me." Silence, that's all she heard and it consumed her.

"I didn't kiss him back, I stepped back, yelled at him and we drove home. I texted you right after it happened and I don't want this to..." She rambled for what felt like twenty minutes and was interrupted but Ethan's kiss. It started soft and loving but was too soon interrupted,

"It's okay, I'll kiss you so hard you won't even remember another man's lips on yours..." and with that he sent Emerson's body into overdrive. His kiss grew hungrier, more passionate, his tongue flicked against hers and a soft moan escaped into his mouth only fueling his desire. There was nothing but lust and forgiveness and she relaxed into it and gave into him.

"I know you wouldn't kiss him back, and clearly by the amount of time you had to think, and how upset you were I can assume you didn't enjoy it so let's fix that. I know I was supposed to pick you up in the morning but since I have most of your things and you're staying with me tonight."

She didn't argue, she grabbed the rest of her things and said a quick goodbye to Cori and Rich before she left. This weekend was going to be heaven, hopefully. She couldn't seem to wrap her head around the emotions and what had happened. She was falling hard for Ethan but she didn't hate the kiss Reid gave her. It was soft and sweet and she certainly didn't need to be more confused than she already was. She just needed to be all in with Ethan this weekend and it seemed as if she had already made her decision. One kiss shouldn't have affected her the way that it did and she went running into Ethan's arms, good thing, right?

Any worry that Ethan had was gone between the text message and her reaction to what had happened the night before. He woke up before her and made breakfast. He hadn't liked the idea of her going out with Reid but if this is how she reacted to one kiss from him then Ethan was in the clear. He knew that she meant he was only a friend but now he knew that was 100% the truth. He was able to relax and start off the weekend exactly how he wanted. He was a little nervous yesterday after her text and he would've killed anyone that would have hurt her but everything seemed to have been going his way. Pouring coffee for himself he was startled when she walked into the room.

"Oh Ethan, everything smells amazing," walking towards him, he took it all in. She was always stunningly beautiful; there was never any doubt in that but her long brown hair was messy, giving that just woke up look. Her big gorgeous brown eyes looked at him with such love and anticipation for the weekend ahead, and he could barely focus as her body was always the most incredible thing he had ever seen but this morning in his t-shirt, her long sculpted legs seemed to go on for days and he suddenly felt like the luckiest man in the whole world.

"You smell amazing," Ethan said trailing his mouth from her neck down to her shoulder.

"If you start that again, you know we aren't going to be going anywhere this weekend and I'm really looking forward to where you're taking me." She stopped in mid thought as his teeth grazed her ear, "Seriously, Ethan, oh god, would you stop. I can't even concentrate."

"That was my wicked plan. You can't expect me to have any self-control when your legs and seriously sexy body walk out in nothing but my shirt. I'm only a mere mortal."

"Well thank you," She kissed him softly before grabbing a plate and filling it up.

"Still not going to tell me where we are going." The way her eyes starred at him seductively, he would do anything for her and she knew it.

"Well if you would stop looking at me like that, but no I will stand my ground." She was impossible to resist but he had done it for this whole time and he couldn't cave now.

She laughed and it filled the whole room. "Damn, I thought I still had some kind of power over you, looks like I'm going to have to try harder this weekend to get it back."

"Of course you do, I can't keep any self-control around you." He kissed her before standing up. "I have a few things to pack fast, but you take your time, finish up and whenever you're ready we can head out."

"Okay sounds good." He basically ran out of the room just to keep his hands off her. This was going to be such a fun weekend.

She was starting to love him. She can't say that had ever happened before, she steered clear from emotions which is why the first time they had tried she couldn't have let their relationship get to this point. It scared her to death of someone getting too close. Anyone who had gotten too close to her had always left which is why she certainly didn't do relationships with people that there was any promise with. She couldn't bring herself to get hurt. But she was ready for it, even if it all went to hell, she had to try. Last night she had worried herself sick for no reason. She had to learn how to trust but she thought she was going on the right track. Last night was perfect, this morning was perfect, Ethan was perfect, so why couldn't she just take it and run with it? She promised herself that she would just give in this weekend.

She finished her breakfast; she always loved a man who could cook. She quickly changed and grabbed the last of her things.

"Ready, beautiful?" Ethan leaned in to kiss her.

"Hell yah, let's go! I can't wait to destroy whatever nice place you got for us. I think we are going to have a lot of room christening to do this weekend." She winked at him before heading out the house.

"Damn, seriously." Ethan said frozen in his spot for a minute. She always knew how to turn him on, and even after the past 12 hours she could still do it with just her words in a matter of seconds.
Chapter Fourteen

When people had good chemistry, she thought, really good chemistry and nothing stood in their way; the world around them didn't matter. Breathing and eating suddenly became secondary to being with that person. Sitting next to them made breathing easier, life more fun, and certainly more exhilarating. Ethan was everything for her and that thought was freaking her the fuck out. Nothing and no one should be able to cause her to react the way she did towards him. The thought of hurting him almost killed her and that had been proven the night before. She thought her head was going to explode and she was going to be sick but the minute her arms hit his, she relaxed, everything in her felt safe and warm and that shouldn't be possible, or should it. The drive was perfect, he was perfect, and their relationship seemed perfect but something was always eating at her. She tried to shake the feeling again and it got a hell of a lot easier the minute they pulled into their destination. She had been all over the world from Paris to Milan, from Japan to Australia. She had modelled in some of the most beautiful places in the entire world but nothing came in comparison to this place. Surrounded by every single colour of green in the leaves and trees that sat perched along this magnificent building, she stopped breathing. The trees acted as the perfect accent, as if they had been placed there individually on purpose because they framed the house like a picture. They lead your eye straight to the all symmetrical buildings that seemed to be made entirely of glass as its two stories held itself up over an entire waterfall. The sound of the water falling over the edge had Emerson in complete in awe. The sound of the wind and water made for an intoxicating aura and as Ethan's scent hit her nose she was in overdrive. She couldn't believe she was going to be spending the weekend here. The house was incredible and she couldn't believe it was real. Brick engulfed the middle of the house and looked like it was actually coming straight out of the rock the whole house was built on. This couldn't be real and it didn't look out of place at all. It looked like the house was perfectly placed in a small piece of heaven as it sat there untouched by anything manmade.

"What in the hell is this place?" Emerson said slowly turning into Ethan hoping they weren't ever going to have to leave this place.

"It's called Falling Water and its incredible right? Unfortunately we can't stay here but we have our own private tour for the rest of the day. So where too?"

"We can't stay?" She pouted wondering why on earth that was happening.

"Well technically it's a tourist attraction but not very many people know about it. It's definitely a hidden secret. But I did have the whole thing reserved for the rest of the day." He looked over hoping that would change her attitude. "I'm hope you're not really upset. There isn't anything I can do about it."

"Of course not, me, you and this house can definitely do a lot of damage for this afternoon." She said pulling his arm and slowly walking around the grounds.

"Everything is incredible here. This house can't be real." Emerson said as they made their way inside. Everything about the inside was just as beautiful as the outside. Contemporary wasn't even the right word. Everything picked in this house was unbelievably perfect and shouldn't be real. The light from the windows shone through the entire house and it seemed to brighten everything in the room.

"This is incredible." Emerson said as she was pulled into Ethan and his lips were on her before she knew what to do. They roamed through the house and looked at every room, every detail, every decoration. They looked at all the vast material used to make this incredible house. They stopped and took in the view from each room, looking at how beautiful the surroundings were. They took their time as they had all day and as they finished looking through the house they found themselves back in the living room. The room was particularly beautiful because three of the walls were completely glass from the top to the bottom and it was something she had never seen before. Standing there taking in the beauty of the house, the environment and certainly her company, she immediately thought she could not get any happier than at that moment. Life certainly couldn't have gotten any better and she couldn't wait to see what else the weekend had in store. Just interrupting her thoughts at the perfect moment, Ethan's hands move along her arms, brushing them softly before turning her around and placing the most intense kiss she had ever had.

Breaking their kiss for just a minute, "So you are," he said in a low and growled tone. Her body was instantly electrified and over aware that he was all she wanted to be consumed by. They stood there for what seemed liked hours but she didn't care. His arms slowly traced her body as they ended tangled in her hair and she melted even more into him. If all she could do was kiss him for the rest of her life she would.

He was so unbelievably intoxicated by her. He would kiss her forever but the thought of taking her on every surface in this house ran through his mind over and over again. Thank god they were leaving soon because otherwise they were about to christen the whole house.

He could barely speak but he stepped away.

"What's wrong?" Emerson said as his eyes drifted down to her chest that was pumping so hard. He already had a hard time concentrating and this wasn't helping.

"Emerson, there is nothing wrong but if we don't stop right now, this poor house won't know what hit it. We're lucky our hotel isn't far from here because taking you in the car right now seems to be the best option, but unfortunately we need to leave this place."

He could tell the way he was just talking turned her on more, "If we don't leave now I swear I will take you up against that window." He tried to settle his breathing, grabbing her hand, "Love, we need to leave." Her eyes settled on his as she licked her lips before stopping to bite the bottom one. He wasn't going to make it to the car.

"Okay, let's go. Thanks for taking me here. It's incredible but don't worry my real thank you is going to come real soon. I suggest we book it to that hotel, or you're idea of taking it in the car is so on..." and with that he swore he had never driven so fast in his life.

The next two days flew by and he never wanted it to end. They had been to the drive in, the opera house, they had spent an entire evening making love on every surface in their hotel room and the shower had been his favourite. He had woken up before her and as it was their last day in what seemed to be better than paradise. They could be themselves, and completely attentive to each other without the rest of the world butting in. They had the best days ever, if he did say so himself, and he couldn't wait to see what happened for them.

Emerson woke up slowly thinking either Ethan was watching her sleep or someone had climbed into their bed. She was hoping that it was the first option.

"Hello there," he said as she slowly kissed her forehead.

She smiled and as groggy as she was, her body immediately wanted him.

"Okay Ethan, there must be something wrong with me." She crawled closer to him, making room right at his side. He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head, "I highly doubt that." Emerson could actually live there, just like that and not give a damn about anything else.

"Well I haven't even been up for like a minute and immediately my body wants you." Ethan smiled, kissing her again, "And what the hell is wrong with that?"

He pulled her in closer. "Nothing, mmm, nothing at all but what if it fades a little? I'm pretty sure it won't for me but what if you get sick of me?"

Ethan's mouth dropped open and Emerson couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you for real right now? You're unbelievably sexy, your smile and laugh are incredibly contagious. Your heart is bigger than anyone I've even know. You're the best friend I've ever met, and not just to me but to your friends. You care so much, you share so much of your life with everyone, and you certainly make my life better by being in it. These past few days have been more than perfect and I wish we never had to go back to the real world."

Emerson could feel something welling up in her eyes, she was actually about to cry. A single tear formed and rolled down her face.

"Em don't cry." He grabbed her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Ethan, you're so wonderful, and perfect. You're perfectly wonderful," and with that their moment seemed as if it would never end. Emerson moved as Ethan's body moved perfectly on top of her. They both moved together starting slowly as Ethan placed kisses from her neck up to behind her ear before her moan sent him into over drive. His arms grabbed her, pulling their bodies closer together and kissing her harder than ever before. He wanted her, he needed her more in this moment that he had before.

"I need you, Emerson. You're everything," Not moving but slowly letting their bodies come off their high, Ethan move the hair out of her eyes. "You're my breath, Emerson. You're the one I want to be better for." Emerson kissed him before he could continue. She didn't want to ruin this moment by over thinking. He was everything she needed yet something was starting to tell her to run.
Chapter Fifteen

Driving home she knew she needed to get out of town for a couple of days, to calm down. So much had happened in the last week and Emerson could never handle emotions all that well.

"So what's next?" Ethan said grabbing her hand and softly placing it in is.

"Well seeing as I'm out of clothes, I think I'm going to head up to my apartment in New York."

"Oh?" his voice sounded troubled, "Should I be worried?" She could tell that he knew something was wrong and easing his mind was her only worry at the moment.

"Well no, I just need a minute to grab some things and sit. A lot of wonderful and interesting things have happened in one week and you know me." She said trying to sound as calm as possible. It was hard to want to run and keep someone happy at the same time but she ultimately knew that it wasn't possible.

"Emerson, you're not running are you?" Damn he had called her on it. He was good and certainly cared for her a lot more than she thought which made this decision a lot worse.

Emerson thought to herself, "No I don't think so. I'm just grabbing clothes. Maybe stay a day. Head into the office to clear some things up, but I won't be gone for too long." She hoped.

"Okay because I can't handle that." He seemed to have settled over the whole thing and that made it a little bit easier. She was almost counting down the time to get to her apartment. She began to fiddle with her nails and stare out the window, not really noticing she was doing either until Ethan knock her back to reality. "What?" The look in his face was serious and she couldn't deal with that right now and she hoped that it wouldn't ruin the most incredible couple of days with him. From the Falling Water to amazing meals and even better nights; they shopped, they walked, they ate, and they had an unbelievable time being together.

"You run, the last time we were nowhere near this point, and you ran. I don't think I could handle that again." Emerson looked at him, knowing at that moment she had broke his heart years ago and she couldn't handle the thought of doing it again but going home for awhile might do that. "Ethan I just need to go for a couple of days. I'm coming back."

"Do you promise?" He needed reassurance and she knew she had to give it to him, hoping with everything that what she was saying wasn't a lie.

"I think so," she said leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Dropping Emerson off was terrifying to say the least. She was going back home. He couldn't let her go by herself and he needed to be there as a reminder of how good it was and how good they were. Impulsively he opened the window, "Do you want me to bring you to the train station?" He yelled out the window.

"Um, yah sure. I'll call you when I book the ticket." Okay, that's good, the look on her face maybe not so much but it gave them more time together and his train of thought was broken as he noticed her walking back to the car.

"You know I could drive you back, or you could drive back right?" Come on Em, take the bait. Let me bring you there and then you can't run while I'm there. Hoping that she would take that idea but it didn't look good.

"Ethan, I'm coming back. I don't want drive; I'll leave my car so it's here when I get back. Sometimes it's nice not to have to drive back and forth." She smiled and kissed him again before backing up and walking into the house.

He smiled and left, all he could do was hope it was true.

The train ride home was long, there was no awkward goodbye because she said she was coming back. When she got into her apartment she felt safe but something didn't feel like home. She ignored it and began to pack up some new things. She threw everything she brought back into the wash and she changed before heading to the office.

She was happy to be going to check in a work and immediately remembered how lucky she was to be able to work from where she was. She was only there twenty minutes before they convinced her to go out with them tonight. After finishing up some meetings and catching up with friends, she headed out for a quick shopping trip. She grabbed a new dress for tonight and some new sexy lingerie to bring home for Ethan. She missed him like crazy and she had only been gone two days. She let that thought resonate in her mind while she was getting ready and certainly long enough to make her freak out. Thank god they were going out drinking.

She got to the club, immediately getting a drink and finding her friends. She had kind of forgotten about her phone and looked down to check the messages.

I miss you.

E.

She sent back a message quick before putting her phone away for the night.

Same here.

Em

This night was going to be about friends and drinking, so why did she suddenly feel miserable. Nothing that tequila can't fix, she thought heading to the bar. This was already going to be a long night.

Emerson sat at table alone, again. She had seemed to be in the same situation thousands of times before, but for some reason, this time it was different. The dark club had lost its appeal for the final time and she found herself not being able to be lost into the atmosphere of the club. Her head spinning around she did not know how much longer she was going to be able to take this. Emerson mindlessly turned her straw in her drink, clinking her ice from side to side trying to drown out the deafening bass to the seemingly never ending song. Music started blurring together as Emerson thought to herself; at least were she was and how she had gotten there, which was a feat that was not always accomplished when she went out. She closed her eyes trying to immerse herself into what she was able to fathom of her surroundings. Men came in a constant stream offering to keep her company or buy her a drink, which only settled in the loneliness she was feeling tonight. She never had a problem going out after work but something was odd about tonight. She could feel the ache in her body, the shooting pain running down her feet and her body screamed of how much she did not really want to be there. She thought about leaving, but for some reason could not bring herself to get up. Finishing her vodka tonic she let her mind wonder for a brief moment but she decided that was definitely something she could not handle tonight and quickly beckoned for the waitress to come over. Tonight she really needed her friends but unfortunately neither of them were close by. Ending that thought before she could elaborate on it she grabbed the shot of tequila and threw it back trying to numb the thought and finally grabbing her next drink. People were everywhere she looked writhing together across the dance floor leaving to have sex in the bathrooms and Emerson could not handle the thought of either today. She could not shake the mood she was in and it felt like the more alcohol she drank the clearer her thoughts became and she really did not want that to happen. She finished her drink again calling the waitress over in record time. This is the last one, she thought to herself, taking it and beginning to spin her straw around. Finally a half decent guy came over and paid for her drink. Emerson really was not in the mood but she never turned down a free drink. He leaned over whispering into her ear asking if she wanted to dance as his hand slowly grazed her thigh. She reluctantly nodded, remembering her promise to constantly keep her sex appeal in check. She finished the drink and finally got up grabbing the hand in front of her that lead her to the dance floor. Emerson slowly moved her body to the unstoppable music wondering if this damn night was ever going to end. She was not enjoying herself and she found it damn near impossible to forget everything by drinking too much. She could not figure out what was wrong and she didn't want to bother either. She let herself be engulfed by the music and tried, for the millionth time tonight, to drown her thoughts out and enjoy herself. Just as she had begun to forget, a fleeting thought passed through her mind, "What is wrong with me?" Immediately after falling into the man behind her, that was a topic she was not ready to face tonight.

Ethan

Ethan was so excited to see her, he couldn't handle being away for longer than three days and this was starting to push it. He knew that she was heading out with friends but she hadn't answered his texts. He was fine about that but when he pulled up to the apartment he couldn't help the smile crossing his face. The drive didn't take too long in reality, but with the way he was feeling it felt like he had been driving for days. He wanted so much to see her but he was nervous about it. Leaving her alone for this long might not have been the best thing. It certainly wasn't because she was a child but she has having a hard time dating two guys, and now that it was just them, her thoughts might provide an even bigger challenge for her.

As he got to her house, attempting to find parking for what seems like another hour, and finally began walking up the steps and knocking on the door he began to get nervous. This could end in one of two ways and he was hoping that it would be a way that went in his favor.

"Nervous, why the hell am I nervous. What if she isn't here? No of course she's here, where else would she be." He stood there for what seemed like an eternity before he could hear someone shuffling to the door. He thought that his heart would stop racing but something else happened, it got worse.

Finally he couldn't take it any longer, but he thought he had heard her coming and she might need some inspiration for opening the door if she was hung-over. "Come on Em, don't make me wait this long, its cold out here," the door knob turned just as he finished.

Emerson

Her head was pounding and she thought she heard a knock on the door, which actually sounded like a car had driven through her living room." How much did I drink last night?" ran through her head as she finally opened the door.

"Well you look like you had fun last night." He stood there looking like a model just off the runway. The smell of his cologne mixed with his smile and the jeans he was wearing was too much for her. She immediately grabbed him and snuggled into his arms. "Ethan, you're here!" Too loud, shhhh Emerson.

"I missed you too love. Can I come in?" She laughed and pulled him inside. "Duh, of course"

"Rough night?" He took his coat off and sat down in the living room. She grabbed it, offered him a drink and then sat across the room. He looked at her oddly but she figured if she was going to actually talk to him, it's best they were far across the room from each other. It certainly wouldn't stop the two of them but it would make for some talking to happen.

"Actually me, friends from here, and too much alcohol and thinking are a deadly mix." It was that moment she realized she was dancing with someone else and she hoped to god nothing else happened. The night was slowly coming back to her and she remembered whoever he was tried to kiss her and she punched him in the face.

"Love, what happened to your hand?" Ethan had said just as the memory came into her head.

"Yah some asshole tried to kiss me, instead of saying something apparently I punched him, and if I remember correctly, I punched him in the face." She looked down, slightly ashamed at the thought of what happened but feeling kind of kick ass at the same time.

Ethan began laughing so hard he almost fell of his chair.

"You like that huh? He was dancing with me but clearly that's all."

"It's fine that he was dancing with you, only because you decked him." Ethan came up behind her grabbing her waist and moving her hair.

Whispering into her ear, "I know you're not in the mood for sex right now..."

"Actually...." she could hear his sex infused voice and noticed that he was ready.

"Okay but I need to take a shower and I might need help with that?"

She said nothing but pulled him into the shower. After this they really had to talk. The rest of the night was coming back to her and she needed to talk to him about their relationship because if she didn't running away for real was entirely becoming an option.

Between turning on the shower and slowly undressing making her feel tortured, Ethan's voice always sent shivers down her spine.

"It's a damn good thing you didn't run, because you would have missed all of this," as he grabbed her hand dragging it over his body.

Unable to breathe for a moment she sputtered out, "Well that was so not fair, and I told you I didn't run, but apparently we can't be apart for this long. You do know I was coming back tonight?"

"Yah I know, didn't want you to waste money on a train ticket." He said pulling them into the shower. The hot water falling over their heads made her blink and pull herself closer to him.

"Plus I was hoping that we'd have a little time to hang around New York today before driving back." He was always so convincing and she didn't hate the idea which made her feel a little bit better, like something had changed.

"Well we could drive back tomorrow, you being a teacher on summer vacation an all..." She said curling her hands on his neck pulling him in as close as possible. It was the first time in a couple days that she had felt right and like there wasn't anything missing.

"Well I don't mind. It's like we are on vacation all over again."

"Best, hung over morning, ever." She said shaking the towel through her hair. He couldn't have said it better himself.

Emerson grabbed her phone and noticed she had a message.

"What do you want to do today girlfriend?" Ethan said wrapping his arms around her.

"Well more of that later, we can go grab something to eat, do a little shopping, walk around central park...whatever you want." Emerson so wanted to curl back into bed with him but him seeing the city might be a better idea, giving them a chance to actually talk.

"Okay sounds good to me, just let me get dressed fast," Ethan said kissing her fast and grabbing his clothes.

"Yup sounds good." Emerson was already dressed and ready to go. She sat down on the couch before grabbing her phone and looking at it before she gasped.

Message from Reid. "Oh shit." she thought.
Chapter Sixteen

Slow down, Emerson thought, either let this get in the way or don't it should be simple. She looked down, delete the message or read it.

"Em, why the look?" Hide it or don't Emerson thought before she realized that this was a constant thinking game.

"Well I can't shut my head off." She can't run from this and she couldn't figure out if it was just an excuse to make her stay away from what she really wanted and was too worried she'd ruin.

"Sit down, we aren't going anyway until you speak and I listen." He was right and she really had to think through this. "I don't want to ruin the day we had planned."

"Well the way I see it, we have two options here, you ruining it in your own head because you'll stew in whatever you're thinking about all day, or we talk, then we play all day."

Damn he's good. "Okay first we need to talk about us."

"Should I be worried?" She needed to get this out and him worried wasn't the best way.

"No. I just wanted to explain some things. One, missing you the way I do scares the hell out of me. Two, I wanted to run but you were the only one keeping me grounded. Three, I can't believe you showed up here and four, the way I feel about you isn't something I've ever experienced before and I don't know what to do about it."

Ethan sat back on his chair and just thought which made her nervous as all hell. She stood up and started pacing around the room and he still sat in silence. Things started running through her head and she came to the conclusion that she had ruined their relationship and that it would be best if he left so that she could kick herself over this.

"That's a lot to take in. What started you thinking about all of this?" Okay, he's speaking, that must be good.

"Well last night a little and then this." She grabbed her phone and showed Ethan the front of it.

"So that little dickwad is texting you..."

"Don't be mad, clearly I haven't read it yet." She said putting her phone away, she didn't want to read it and with the anger that he was starting to show, she sure as hell wasn't reading it now.

"Emerson how can I not be mad when he's the one making you doubt something inside yourself." Ethan's voice began to rise, immediately making her place her guard up and raise her voice back.

"Because you're the one that makes me realize I'm wrong to think anything different."

The sat there in silence for what felt like a few hours, but looking at the clock she noticed it had only been a few minutes. "Okay, look at the damn message and tell me what you want us to do next."

She looked down

Hi,

You probably don't want to be

hearing from me.

But I wanted to apologize again

I hope I didn't cause anything

Between you and that guy

You seem to care for him and

I'd feel bad if I ruined something

Between us and between you guys

I hope we can eventually be friends.

Reid.

Emerson exhaled and looked at Ethan, something again was pushing at her throat and she began to cry. Actually cry, ugly sobbing cries, and she couldn't stop. She thought he would just leave her but before she could think she was in his arms and he was moving them to the couch. She held on tighter and sobbed. She cried for what she had lost, she cried for losing Reid, she cried because of all the abuse she had been through from her parents, she cried because she had broken Ethan's heart and she was so close to doing it again, and she cried for her. She cried because she was broken, she couldn't trust, she didn't know how to accept love into herself and she cried because she couldn't do the one thing she loved the most. She couldn't stop and her mind raced for everything she missed out on because of her career, and she cried because she was blessed to have Isabelle, Josh, Cori, Rich and hopefully still Ethan as the only people she loved in her life.

When she calmed down, Ethan didn't let go, he held on tighter hoping that he could fix whatever just set her off. She had been crying, really crying for a long time and he didn't know what to do but just hold on and hopefully come back to him.

"I'm okay, I'm sorry I'm a mess, let's say I don't think I've ever cried like that."

Ethan smiled slightly, "It's okay. You've never cried before?"

"Does that make me an alien?" They both laughed at that thought.

"Was his message that bad?"

"No it was good it just reminded me how and what I can throw away if I'm stupid and don't actually talk about my problems. I've never cried because my parents never let me get close to anything or anyone that I would've gotten hurt from. I just, I don't know why I can't do things right the first time. I should've never walked away from you but you are the scariest part. I can control my emotions about everything around me, about everyone I met, about my job, about friends but you. I'm not myself with you, I'm the person I know I can be but I just don't know how this whole thing works."

He had to stop and thinking about what she had just said. It was right, being a model took you everywhere, if you were good, and she was good. Her parents didn't help as they were the nicest people you could ever find. They would've taught her to stay closed off to people and not to get her heart broken. That way she wouldn't miss everyone, she didn't have to care about making relationships, she could just focus on making money and doing her job. That must have been hard and was sure as hell the opposite of what he had grown up with and what he had taught his brothers. It was no way to live but it was something that wasn't going to be overcome by anyone but her.

"I don't know what to say. I know you, and you and me make sense, we work and I shouldn't have let you walk away the first time. I should have fought like hell to make you stay..."

She started to cry again, and that wasn't his intention, he just held on as tight as he could for the both of them. "It wasn't your fault, I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Moving her hair so he could see her eyes,

"I was afraid of getting my heartbroken for the first time. I've never felt so much pain in my life after that day because I was afraid to be vulnerable, but I was more afraid of you and the way you make me feel. I know that it doesn't matter now and I just thought I should tell you. I've spent so much time wanting you and being too scared to allow myself to admit it. I've sabotaged everything in myself without knowing it but you were the first thing that made me realize what I've done for too many years."

Ethan didn't know what to say, to express any more of how he felt to her because he knew that she understood how he felt and he thought that maybe just maybe she could figure it out herself.

"Why aren't you yelling at me or shaking me..."

Ethan got up. Without saying a word, he grabbed her and kissed her hard putting all the love and emotion behind this kiss. This was something she never experienced before, her world stopped. Her mind stopped.

"I'm in love with everything about you. But right now I'm going to walk away. Not for you but from what this day has become. I need you to figure out exactly what you want. Believe me when I say that you're not breaking my heart. I just want you to be sure. Call me when you figure out what you decide what you want."

And with that he was gone. She sunk to the floor and cried more than she had ever cried in her life. It was like she needed the release and she didn't know what to do besides cry. She should've gone after him but the minute she would've seen him, she would've been consumed by him, her feelings, her heart, her soul and her thoughts. She needed to think but all she could think was that she wanted and needed to see him. With that last thought she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

What is the real, actual minute that a person stops believing in the ultimate romantic notion of perfection, true love and all that comes along with it? Emerson just couldn't figure out why anyone puts themselves through it in the first place. Is it because people see it every day and assume it's just like in the movies or television? Do they listen to stories about their own families, with their high school sweethearts and assume that everything falls perfectly into place? Do we pick one couple and idealize them so much that all hopes for a relationship and love lies within the ideal relationship? What happens when nothing along those lines ever happens? What happens when the one thing you think is for sure, the two people you see as nothing but the mortal version of perfection, fall apart?

Emerson wondered if she was crazy or just thinking of what would happen if any of her friends were to break up their marriages. She hated the thought yet somehow, today, it kept creeping in. What would she do if this happened to them? Would she try to rush to one of their sides and offer a shoulder to cry on or someone to hear them out? What happens when you can't do anything because you've fallen apart with them? There's no right or wrong answer, she thought to herself, but is that worse than having no answer in general? Nothing makes sense right now and unless by some miracle they get back together, she truly didn't know how to believe in "real love" again. This wasn't happening to her friends, it was happening to her. Her best friends were the couples around her who seem to be utterly perfect and great examples of love, but it wasn't the same. Nothing was the same. Emerson, fiercely from the bottom of her heart, loved them both and couldn't believe that anything like that would really happen. She didn't know what to believe in, but the one thing was certain, love, true real possible love didn't seem to exist for her. It showed up for awhile, routine set in, bliss ended, reality showed up and bam, out of nowhere you're doomed, finished, heartbroken falling hard on the ground into pieces. Nothing was making her feel any better, the pieces are still left untouched, on the floor, with no semblance of how to put them back together. She didn't love Ethan because she had too; it was because she had chosen too. He was the one thing that could make her believe in love, in herself, in her goals, and now she was there alone, unable to help or move or stop thinking that love is an illusion, perfection is impossible and heartbreak, inevitable.
Chapter Seventeen

2 weeks later

Everything fell back into step. New York was always her favourite place in the world and she hated being away from it, and her friends. She wasn't sure how to go back. Cori and Isabelle had called every day and she was really doing fine. Reid hadn't tried to talk to her again and she was glad about that. She hated losing a friend but it was the only way she could get her head out of her ass long enough to realize that she deserved to be happy. She missed her friends like crazy and especially all those damn children they had put together. Aunt Emmie was one of her favourite roles and being with them so much then was hard now. She wanted to go back but she wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Ethan was all consuming and she needed time to think if she could actually make a balance between her head and her heart when she came around to it, she wasn't sure that could ever happen. He was good for her, he brought the real Emerson, the Emerson she had always wanted to be out of her and she was happy with him but she had time to figure out if that was okay, and it was. She finally let herself figure out what she wanted and she was happier than hell to realize that she wasn't too late.

She had gotten up and made coffee she thought about everything that had happened in the past two weeks. She went through hell and back and the minute she had woken up she knew that what she had was real she just needed to be deserving of it. It took a week of torturing herself of staying out of the world around her and focusing on work and thinking. She thought about everything that was physically possible. She thought of every situation and how each one of them would end. She came to the realization that of everything in her life she loved, her friends, her job, what she had accomplished, it was nothing without someone to share it with. Reid was a distraction from what she wanted, and it was a hell of a lot easier way out because who doesn't want to be admired. Reid had always liked her and she knew that. She tried to pretend that she could love him, or have feelings for him, but it was always a distraction from the overwhelming love she felt for Ethan. She realized that seeing as she didn't exactly know what real love was, besides for her friends, she needed a good kick in the ass to figure it out. She thought back to the conversation that she had with Josh. How right he was to say

"And when it's all said and done, stop and think hard. If you need me, call but don't run away. We will figure this out together because Em all I really want is for you to be happy and find the right person to do that for you. I know you have him in one of these guys, you just need to let go and be open to it actually happening."

Josh had been Isabelle's saving grace from the minute they met and somehow Emerson had to force the two of them together. She realized that Josh was just trying to return the favor.

Everything about the past week had been hell. She figured out there is not a single way to separate the love she had for Ethan and the rest of the world, she had to just find a way to figure out how to deal with them both. Lost in her own train of thought she didn't feel him coming behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the back of her neck.

"Hey love, mmhmm that smells good, I don't know what smells better you or that food." Ethan whispered into her ear, before he placed another kiss on her neck and tried a taste of what she had been making.

"Thanks, what do you want to do today?"

"I'm not sure but I guess we should be making up for lost time..." Kissing him felt so right that she always melted into it.

"Well I like that idea, but I'm not going to lie to you we need to head back. I need to talk to Cori and Isabelle and Reid." Stopping him had become impossible. They did have to make up for lost time but she thought it was time for them to go back and see her friends and maybe move some of his stuff back to New York. Emerson had been thinking about it for a long time and she hadn't said anything yet. She wasn't sure how to bring it up but maybe when they got back to see her friends she would suggest the idea.

"Okay I know the girls are pissed at you and I know Josh wants to talk to you but Reid....I shouldn't be worried should I?"

Emerson's smiled answered that question. "Definitely not."

Okay she was brave enough to get him back, and now she had to be brave enough to figure out how to balance her whole world.

Ethan had never been more worried in his entire life and the past two weeks had been sheer hell on earth. He knew that the only way to get a straight answer from Emerson was to walk away. He didn't like it but she was just as stubborn as he was and he seriously loved that about her. Her laugh, her heart, the way she loved so fiercely and so blindly. The way she smiled, the way she was not afraid to kick his ass at anything and the way they acted afterward. He had loved her the minute they met and he hadn't know that until these past weeks. They had been apart for years but nothing was different from the first time. He couldn't contain himself around her and for her he wanted to be better. He was better with her and she was driving him crazy.

He was so happy the minute he saw her name scroll across his phone just a few days ago. He almost didn't answer thinking it couldn't possibly be her. He knew it was going to take time and after two weeks he thought it might be too early and that this call was going to break his heart.

"Hello"... her voice trailed and at the same time his heart actually skipped a beat, what a girl!

"Ugh, Em."

"Ethan, I .... I miss you. I miss us, can you come over tonight?"

Ethan had to stop and pinch himself, "Only if you tell me that my heart isn't going to be shattered when I get there."

Emerson laughed, god he missed that. "Quite the opposite. I have a few things to do this afternoon but I'll be home by 5, come over whenever."

"I'll be there, bye Em." Ethan hung up knowing that this day just got a million times better.

He did nothing and everything just to busy himself before he could start on his drive. He wanted to grab flowers or something but on the other hand he just wanted to get to her. It seemed like the longest drive of his life and he wasn't sure that it was ever going to end. Parking in New York was a nightmare, which is why no one actually owned a car. He finally found a spot and jogged to her house.

Hell, sheer, hell he thought, as he remember that night like it was yesterday, in fact it was yesterday. This had been a heavenly 24 hours after 2 seriously long weeks. He grabbed onto and kissed her head, as he just stood and held her.

"This is heaven," she said letting a small breath out. She melted into him perfectly and he held on tighter.

"Damn straight love. You look seriously beautiful this morning." He kissed her head again,

"Ummm, I could get used to that."

"Well I think you should. So I guess we have one more big discussion to have today." Ethan said getting up to make breakfast. They both liked to cook and were equally good at it so they shared making meals whenever they could.

"Ethan please don't ruin today," Emerson said stepping away and turning herself towards him. She was unbelievably beautiful all the time. Especially in the morning, the way she wrapped herself into him, it was always the best part of the day.

"I'm not, I'm just wondering what we are going to do. Are we going to live here, or back in P.A?"

Emerson stood looking at him wondering the exact same thing. She wanted to bring it up when they got back to Pennsylvania but apparently now they were going to talk about it.

"Huh, I, I don't really know. I mean I love New York, and seeing as I make enough money I guess I could keep this place if I have to work in the city or we want to get away from my friends, your friends and all the crazy kids that run around us."

Ethan was stunned as he backed himself straight across the room into a chair that was conveniently there; otherwise he was pretty sure he was going to walk straight into a wall.

"Ethan, are you okay?" Emerson came running through the room.

He sat there quietly and pulled her onto his lap. He took everything in, the way she bared her soul to him yesterday and he had never had that happen before.
Chapter Eighteen

Ethan

Last night.

"Ethan I've been so unhappy. I know you gave me this time to figure out my shit and I think I have. I want you and I want whatever that entails. I want to be with you every day. Being apart has just made me realize that the only time I'm really living is when I'm with you. I've been all over the world and done incredible things but it means nothing when I don't have anyone to share it with. I've been waiting too long to say this and I've let my stubbornness and my trust and loss get in the way so just listen. I need you to know that I love you Ethan, I'm in love with you, I've been in love with you and I will never stop loving you. I know I've put you through a lot over this time and the last time we were together and I'm so sorry that I can't take all that pain away. But I can't let you go without you knowing that I can't stop and I don't want to stop loving you."

Emerson slowly shed a tear and she looked up at him. He wanted so badly to see her again, even if it didn't end well and this was not the case. This was exactly what he wanted; she was exactly what he wanted. He looked at her hoping to see the light in her eyes. The promise that once laid there with every hope of their dreams and a future together and then she couldn't look anymore. She placed her eyes down at her feet, and took a huge breath as she began to walk away from Ethan. He began to get confused wondering why she thought this is what he wanted and he grabbed her arm pulling her into him. As her eyes were still stuck on the floor, Ethan slowly took her face in his hands,

"This is going to be hard work,"

"I know," She tried to look at him through the tears falling from her eyes.

"And there are going to be times that we want to kill each other," He was calm and sweet and gentle and she couldn't handle how much she felt loved right now.

She nodded, making him laugh.

"And I'm going to fight for you every minute of every day,"

She looked at him, finally he thought.

"And I'm going to remind you every day that I love you,"

"I..."

"And everyday I'm going to remind you that we work. That we are good for each other, that we can get through the good times and the bad and we can fight for us, together,"

"Ethan, I..."

He looked up at her with every dream, hope, belief, and love that she could have ever wanted.

"I love you Ethan."

"I've never stopped loving you Emerson."

Ethan grabbed her face and placed a kiss so soft and gentle but full of promises. And with that a lifetime of hope and love was in that kiss but more importantly, they both felt at home.
Chapter Nineteen

Present Day

Ethan still held onto Emerson without saying a word and she was terrified. He had been sitting in that chair for what had seemed to be hours and she wasn't sure what the hell was going on. She was starting to get freaked out at this point and decided that shaking him would be the next step.

"Ethan, seriously, what the hell." He burst out laughing. She was so worried about him and shaking him was her first reaction. This is going to be one hell of a ride, he thought to himself as he still couldn't stop laughing.

"I was just thinking about last night that's all." The worry on her face was so evident; he really did love everything about her.

"That was a good night." She lowered herself onto his lap and calmed her body down.

"And, truthfully, I can't believe you wanted to move in with me."

Emerson laughed so hard she almost fell off of him.

"Seriously, that's what shocked you like this. Why wouldn't I want to wake up with you every day, and go to bed with you every night?"

He loved her. That was for certain. They would work everything else out.

"I know but it's P.A."

She had never given much thought about moving out that way. She knew she loved New York and it wasn't that far away. She worked from where she was and being with Ethan had become the most important.

"Yes so. My best friends live there, their kids live there, your siblings live there. You're career, everything is there. Like I said, I'll keep this place just in case."

Keeping her place was definitely a must, she made more than enough money to do so and if she had meetings and other things to do in New York, it made more sense to go to her house than book a hotel. She was more comfortable at home. She got up and started packing her things to go back but Ethan thought she had been running away to not have to figure out this argument. He immediately got up and ran after her.

"You can't run away from an argument here, you know that. I'll come after your ass." Both of them were laughing so hard they could barely breathe. "Ethan I wouldn't. We can run away from the crazy together,"

He stopped and pulled her into his body, "Well that sounds perfect."

They spend the rest of the morning that way, curling back up on a chair in the middle of the room. It was perfect. They talked about moving things from one house to the other. They decided that they should tell their friends soon and that they should enjoy the rest of the day, just the two of them before chaos, known as their lives, set it.

After grabbing their things, throwing them into his car, they headed back home. He couldn't wait to live with her and start their lives together. He knew it was going to be hard but it was going to be what he wanted.

"Got everything love?"

"I think so."

"Alright let's go."

After two hours of driving, Emerson decided that it was best if he dropped her off so that she could tell her friends what was going on. She had called both Isabelle and Cori to tell them she'd be there soon and she had to mentally prepare for what was about to happen.

"Call me whenever you want to. We can all do dinner together once you girls have finished talking. I called Josh and he was with Rich so I think we are going to hang out and I'll move your things into the house." Ethan said as they got closer to home, home hit her hard, and she smiled. She had the perfect set up with him and she couldn't wait to tell her friends. They were going to be so happy for her.

"Okay, sounds good. Love you Ethan." Emerson jumped out of the car and started for the house so that Ethan had to yell "Love you too."

"Well it's about damn time," Cori said standing with the door open and Isabelle next to her. Emerson ran to them and hugged them both at the same time.

"I know I missed you guys!"

"Emmie, if you go all MIA like that again I will kick your ass."

Emerson laughed, "Isabelle, you kicking my ass, like that would happen."

The girls piled into the house and sat in their usual spots around the table as Cori fussed to make them drinks.

"Now that our husbands have captured your, well I assume boyfriend, spill your guts woman."

Emerson sat and talked for what seemed liked hours on end. She told them everything from her talk with Josh, to going out with Reid and how things ended with him. She talked about her incredible weekend with Ethan and how she had almost ran. She talked about going to work and going out with the girls before she had the biggest wakeup call of her life. She told them how hard she worked with herself for the past two weeks and she was finally able to get to the best part of the past two weeks.

"I told him I loved him."

Both girls' jaws dropped to the floor.

Isabelle squealed "I'm so proud of you Emmie. I can't believe you did that, let someone in so far that you can actual tell him how you feel."

Cori was just as stunned, "Well I'll be damned. Congrats girlie!"

"Oh you ladies haven't even heard the best part"

"What?" she heard them say in unison.

"I'm moving in with him, today. That's where the boys are and Ethan wondered if you guys were up for dinner after."

Both girls shout out of their seats and hugged their friend so hard that Emerson thought she was going to explode.

"Izzy, Cori, stop you're going to kill me and I won't be able to live near you."

"Oh my god this is so exciting!"

"Hell yah it is, and what good men we all have. Moving in your things and letting us just catch up."

Emerson smiled at that thought. "I would say so. Well seeing as it's been a few hours, should we head to Ethan's so we can figure out dinner. What where the hell are all your kids."

"When you called us, we both called our mothers and there were more than happy to help."

"Well that's awfully nice. Although I miss all those little rugrats. I'm going to have to babysit for you guys."

"Oh yah, it's on." The girls both laughed, and Emerson knew that Isabelle was going to plot for her to start loving kids. She loved their kids and she never thought about kids. They would figure out everything about their future as they went and with that a smile grew across her face. She was so happy at this moment. Everything in Emerson life was perfect and she didn't want anything to change. For the first time in her life, she finally felt at home.
Epilogue

Emerson

3 months later

Emerson felt nervous as she sat there. She drummed her fingers across the table as she patiently, impatiently waited for him. She didn't exactly know how to react but she was surely excited to see him. Suddenly there he was, in all of his godlike glory. He stepped into the room and her eyes couldn't tear away. His black fitted shirt barely held in his incredibly muscular arms. His faded jeans hugged his legs so well and laid just low enough to make anyone drool. He took his sunglasses off and began to stride towards her. His tan was perfect, his eyes were perfect, he was perfect. But for the first time in a long time, she didn't feel the same shivers that she always did around him.

She was definitely excited to see him. "Josh! I can't believe you're here."

"Hey Emerson." He grabbed her, hugging her before he lifted her off the floor.

"I see you got coffee already. Just give me a minute and I'll be right back."

He walked away and she never, from the time they first met, thought that anything was ever going to happen between them, but damn he was beautiful. She knew this time, however, that she was so beyond in love with Ethan that she could go out with Josh and thank him for everything he had done for her.

"Well, how's living with Ethan?"

Before answering that question, she took it in. It had been three months since her and Ethan had moved in together and she couldn't be happier. Everything was perfect. Sure they had their moments, but didn't everyone? She loved him more today than she did yesterday and that was her measure of perfect.

"It's finally home." That was all she could say as she looked up from her cup and looked at Josh.

"Emerson, that has to be the best thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"Josh, that's why I wanted to talk to you today."

"Oh lord, what now." Josh seemed like she was going to say something awful.

"It's not bad, jerk. It's just, I wanted to thank you. This feels a little bit like déjà vu, don't you think?"

"What does?"

"I believe it wasn't too long ago that we sat in this same spot before you told me to focus on being happy."

Josh laughed, "That's true."

"Well, I don't know where to start. I... just... thank you. You've finally given me the help I needed to find a home. A dream to live for and someone to love, forever."
