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### Clarissa looked around the crowded café and notice all the smiles and grins of each customer, she looked at how they express themselves with their hands, eyes and even by the tilt of their heads. She could tell they all had something good to say just by each facial expression, she could zero in on the thoughts of their faces. Clarissa however wonder if they could zero in on her expression, the tight fists balled under her chin, the empty look in her eyes as though she was looking at a blank canvass, lips slightly submerged within her mouth to keep from sighing. She knew her look did not fit with the crowd at the café, she was never good at faking a smile, and she almost always wore her emotions on her sleeves. Clarissa tried to focus on the woman holding her poodle in her arms while the woman tried to sip on what appeared to be a cappuccino in a mug and the poodle trying to take a lick of it as well. Clarissa looked down at her watch and noticed that it was getting late. "I wondered what could be taking Josh so long". She had been waiting over twenty minutes for him to arrive at the café and over thirty-eight years to come into her life and purpose marriage but for some reason Clarissa just didn't have that giddy girl feeling that most soon to be brides have. This is not what she envision for herself, she wanted to be in a perpetual feeling of joy, a sense of comfort of the man of her dreams, a never ending smile of what was soon to be the greatest thing that has happen to her so far in her life. This is what she has been waiting for since she could play with dolls, even into her teenage years, pretending her prom was her wedding, picking out wedding dresses well into her early thirties, making her guest list and remaking her list every time some one passed or moved on in her life. She knew the honeymoon destination, the pattern she wanted all the way down to name placement and invitations. So why is she so unhappy? It couldn't be the man of her dreams, Josh looks was something to write home about, beautiful dark streamline features, a smile that carried him into perfection, the most glowing green eyes that twinkled in the sun, tall, fitting to be fit, unrealistic beautiful smooth skin and to back up his looks, charming personality, character of good morals and values and not to mention a wonderful sense of humor that would win any woman over on the first date. So what's the problem in the high time of joy, why the feeling of unknowing. Clarissa decided to take one last sip of her now luke warm espresso, she waited long enough and she knew she had to get back to walk her dogs. "Clarrisa, Clarissa!" It was surely a sigh of relief but at the same time a sigh of uncertainty. "Josh! What to you so long". Clarissa said returning to her seat. Josh sat beside her instead of across from her, he said he wanted to be as close as possible to her every time they would have an outing together. "I am so sorry Rissa but I had a client that called me up and wanted to take another look at the house on Pebblerock rd, remember the one I was telling you about, I tell you the house is gorgeous and at one point two million it should be, I couldn't take a chance and neglect my client on a deal like this". Josh went on and on about the new client that he felt would be taking the pebblerock house, sure the house was something to brag on, I mean why not it's a five bedroom four and a half bath house with a tennis court, forty-two hundred square feet, with a home theatre I might add and sitting on five acres of land it was the perfect house, I myself got a chance to walk through the house with Josh and just would envision us living in something that beautiful but for right now all I wanted to do is to talk to josh, it definitely was a lot on my mind. "Josh". I said as I slightly touched his hand. Josh stopped talking and looked at me quizzically. "I'm sorry Rissa, here I am going on and on about the new deal I probably might be getting and I didn't ask you how you are doing, sorry". Josh said as he touched the end of her nose with his nose. "Josh, I....I..." Clarissa said nervously. "What is it Rissa, you seem upset, did something go wrong at the shop". He said looking directly into my eyes. The shop was the last thing on my mind right now besides Crissy is there and she can handle everything, Mom taught both Crissy and I how to handle the pet shop business while we were yet in diapers. No, right now this is more important, getting off my mind what is really bothering me. "Josh listen, I have been waiting for someone like you all my life and when we met I knew instantly that we would be great together". Clarrisa said clenching his hand in both of her hands. Josh looked quite puzzled, his eyes was transfixed on clarrisa eyes as though he was a deer caught in headlights. "Clarissa, don't be nervous just say it, what's on your mind". Josh said squeezing her hand. "Josh I can't marry you". Clarissa said looking down at the table. "What...why...I don't understand". He said lifting her chin to face him eye to eye. "Rissa what happen from yesterday until today, we were just going over the honeymoon package and the travel arrangements". "I know Josh but I have been thinking for some time now and I realize that ...well... I". "Rissa don't you love me". Josh said as he looked deep into her eyes trying to search out the answer. "I do, I really do...but I love myself as well, I love myself to much to settle for someone who don't have the same religious beliefs has I have....". " Beliefs! Rissa, we went through marriage counseling and we discovered that we have the same values and then some, surely that cannot be the reason". "Josh, I want someone who believes in God and well....you really don't believe and I can't commit to that". Josh sat back in his chair and relaxed his shoulders, he tapped continuously on the table with his index finger, like he always does when he tries to find the answer to something he needs to say. " Clarrisa, we have gone over this a hundred times and I explained before that it is complicated, for me to believe in a God I would have to have reason and I just don't have any reason to believe and besides I told you that I do believe it was meant that we should be together, you're my soul mate". Clarrisa sighed in desperation for answers but unfortunately it didn't come the way she wanted it to nor did his answer change since the last conversation. "why won't you open that part of your life to me, why won't anyone in your family explain what the problem is about belief in God"? Clarrisa said frustrated. "I have explained too many times Clarrisa that my family is very private and they would respect if you would honor that". Clarrisa just couldn't understand what the big deal was. Besides for that issue his family was great as long as you didn't bring up any issues concerning God. His mother is creative, funny, always smiling, a great cook, family oriented, sits on many of the board meeting for the township, active in communities event, his dad charismatic, charming, talented with his hands, volunteers in the communities, coaches for baseball and basketball little league and that just half of everything but when it comes to the conversation on God, that's when the fun ends. "I understand". Clarissa said as she slipped off the engagement ring and handed it back to him. "You can't be serious, this is ridiculous, come on Rissa let's try to work this out". Josh said pushing the ring back in her hand and holding it there. "No Josh, my parents raised Crissy and I to believe in God and I want a family to continue that tradition with, I don't want a family that is torn in the middle when it comes to a family crisis, I want a family that will stick together and pray together". "Can we work something out Ris"? Josh said as moved closer to her in his seat. "I'm sorry Josh, I really am but I can't do this, I just can't". Clarrisa said as she put the ring on the table and stood up. "By the wedding being four months away, I still can cancel everything, I love you I really do but I love God more....I'm sorry Josh". Clarrisa said as she turned quickly to leave. "Clarrisa, Clarrisa Please..." Josh said as he stood up. Clarrisa rushed out of the café as on lookers looked at Josh. Josh stood in the middle of the crowded café still stunned. "Sir, are you alright can I get you anything". The male waiter said. Josh was pulled back into reality with the waiter deep voice. "Uh...no...No....I'm o.k." Josh went back to where he originally was seated with clarrisa and tried to figure out in a year time how she could come to such a decision without even talking to him about it. Josh looked straight ahead, not really staring at anything in particular. He tried to recap what just happened from the beginning of the conversation but all he could do is focus on Clarrisa turning away from him and leaving him to stand all by himself. Josh thought that he could never love and for a long time he didn't even know what love was and why people made a big deal about it. He saw it on television, read about it in books, went to plays and witnessed it but never could grasp the whole idea of love. Sure he has been on many dates but some were better than others but he just couldn't feel anything that the rest of his buddies were feeling when they would find the one. He was beginning to feel that it was something wrong with him. He would even force himself to continually date just to see if that feeling would kick in but it never came, He knows he probably broke a lot of hearts but he really tried to see if something would change but again and again nothing ever happened, no sparks, no fireworks. Nothing, His buddies would make fun of him saying he was just a young man with an old bachelor soul. Josh of course didn't see it to be funny, he started to feel like all hope was lost, even the most attractive woman was not keeping his attention, young, older, and dating different nationalities was not working either, what and why he was going through this phase he didn't know. He thought about the day that Dan his buddy and he were playing basketball. "Look buddy why don't you see a shrink". Dan said as they walked off the basketball court. Dan was one of is best buddies and Dan would always give him good sound advice even if it hurt his feelings. "I dunno about a shrink, aren't they for people with issues". "Bro! This is an issue". "Real funny". Josh said as he punched Dan in the arm. "Look Josh, if you don't find out why you're not having any feelings for a woman, you might end up a lonely guy and you ain't getting any younger". Dan said as he laughed and stood up to put on his t-shirt. With that comment alone Josh decided to take Dan advice and go to one of the best Psychologist in Michigan that Dan suggested called Dr Nichols. Dr. Nichols was not an old frumpy looking man with a white beard and Santa clause glasses but instead a twenty-seven year old kid that look like he lifted weights for a living. (I couldn't believe this young guy comes highly recommended, who are is patient's preschoolers)How could this kid help him with his problems, the kid probably didn't have any problems of his own yet. "Don't let my looks fool you, I come highly recommended and I have the student loans to prove it". Was the doctor first comment that he said to Josh as he watched Josh mouth drop wide open. Josh thought it through and decided to go on with the session, besides if this doesn't pan out he could always blame Dan for sending him to a shrink. "Well Joshua what are you here for". Dr. Nichols said pointing to a big plush chair. "No couch, I thought all shrinks...I mean all psychologist used couches". Josh stated snickering. "Yeah well, it's a bit over rated for me; I usually like to sit face to face with my clients". Dr. Nichols said as he took a pen and pad out of his desk. Josh took a seat in the doctor's plush red chair and to be honest the chair was very comfortable, he had to remind himself to get one for his place. "Well doc, I'm here because a buddy of mine suggested that I seek help on why I am finding it hard to fall in love". Josh said as he fidgets in the chair. "I see, hmmmm, ummm, tell me do you have a problem in falling in love". Dr. Nichols said as he looked up from his writing pad into Josh eyes. "I'm paying you hundred and fifty and hour for you to tell me". Josh said shockingly. Dr. Nichols chuckled a bit and relaxed in his chair. "Joshua". Said Dr. Nichols. "Josh please, I like the name josh better". Josh said as he folded his hands in his lap. "Well Josh, the reason I asked that question is to see if you agree with it or not, that is the beginning of this process, so do you have a problem in falling in love". Josh pondered for about a minute and lifted his head to reveal a look of confusion. "I guess I do, I mean well... I have been on plenty of dates and some were great and lasted a while but still nothing, I even forced myself to continuing dating the same woman just to see if something was there when I knew it wasn't". "Hmmmm... I see, did you have a puppy crush or secret crush on a girl in grammar school or high school Josh" "To be honest doc, I don't think so....wait! No....no wait! Wait! I did have a crush on Megan Fox, she was the best looking girl in class, she had long red hair, the cutest freckles and the prettiest smile, yeah...I wonder how she is doing". Josh stated as he drifted off into thought. "So you're not showing any homosexual tendencies". Dr. Nichols said as he wrote on his writing pad. "Doctor! Are you kidding...I'm one hundred percent man! I do and have and always will be interested in woman!" Josh said frowning. "Calm down Josh, it just one of the many things I need to mark off the list of why your not falling in love with a woman". "I said I'm not falling in love with a woman is not the same as interested in a woman!" Josh said poking out his chest. Dr. Nichols chuckled. "Fine, let's continue". "How is the relationship with your parents Josh"? "What! My real parents". Josh said as a matter of fact "Okay, now we are getting some where". Dr. Nichols said. The session with Dr. Nichols was not as bad as Josh thought. "Sir, I hate to bother you but the café will be closing in ten minutes". The male waiter said softly trying not to break Josh thought. "Um. Oh, I didn't know it was that late". Josh said as he looked down at his watch. "Yes sir, you've been here for about forty minutes, are you okay sir, can I call a cab for you". "No, no I have my car out front but thanks anyway". " Sure sir,...by the way the girl that you were here with earlier, she sure is a beauty, I hope whatever you guys are going through that you guys can work through it, you don't want someone like that to get away". "No I don't", Josh said getting up from his seat and pulling out a ten dollar bill tipping the waiter. "Thank you sir! and goodnight". The waiter said as he turned to leave. Josh had no idea that he was still at the café deep in thought. Josh had to get Clarrisa back he couldn't lose her not after waiting for over forty years to find that right one. Finally someone he fell in love with and now she is gone. Josh couldn't let that happen. He had to think of a way to get her back.

### A WALK IN THE PARK

Clarrisa and Crissy usually took their daily run in the park without their yorkies and this day was no different than the rest, same pathway, joggers and vendors but different topic of conversation. " Rissa I don't see why you won't consider going out with this guy, you need to give yourself a change of pace, it's been almost three weeks since you and josh stop seeing each other". "No Crissy I stop seeing Josh". Clarrisa said. "Whatever Clarrisa you've been seeing Ben&Jerry way to much!" Crissy said regulatoring her breathing. "Don't forget Mr. Hagendas and Orville Redenbacher". Clarrisa said as she tried to keep up with her sister. "Ah Ah, listen this is serious, I don't want you sulking away in your room over Josh, remember you broke up with him and if he can't change his beliefs then that's his problem, you come first to me". Crissy said as she paced herself to slow down to Clarrisa. " Cris, I appreciate that but it's not that easy getting over someone you fell in love with over a year and now to move on in three weeks...well ..I just cannot do it!" Crissy stopped and took a bottle of water from her Velcro sachet from around her waist. "Listen, you prayed about it and nothing as changed Clarrisa, he still doesn't want to go to church with you, he won't read the bible and he won't pray if that doesn't scream not changing what will". "I know, I know but who is to say I am suppose to know the answer right away maybe it's not time for me to know the answer". Clarrisa said as she shared her sister water with her. "Rissa you are rationalizing this! Please Josh is a great guy yes I give him that but it doesn't at all matter if he doesn't believe in God, Listen what if you two were to get married and you guys have children, well you would want to take them to church but Josh doesn't, now what are the children to do with two mixed up parents, it's not fair to the kids and it is not fair to you". Crissy said as she stopped jogging to turn to Clarrisa with sympathy in her eyes. "Your right but..." Clarrisa said as she put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. "No, Rissa listen you have talked to his parents, to his friends and yet nothing as turned up to why he has no belief in God, your little detective work has run dry". Crissy said starting back jogging with full force. Clarrisa paced herself to keep up with Crissy but had to do longer strides. "Not so fast Watson, I did notice that Josh parents didn't seem like they were telling the full truth to when I would ask them questions about Josh, it was like they would avoid certain topics". Crissy started jogging in place. "What do you mean; you think they were covering up something". Crissy said increasing her speed in place. "I think so but I never push the issue because I wanted to keep the peace but I think it something more to his life than what he is telling me". Clarrisa said has she trotted right next to Crissy. "This you realize a year later". Crissy said. "Hey what can I say I was in love"? Clarrisa said as she started jogging the pathway again. "You're still in love if you ask me". Clarrisa shrugged her shoulder to the comment and continued to jog and this time she was out jogging Crissy maybe because she didn't want Crissy to take away her ray of hope. "Rissa are you saying that you would take him back if you knew what the problem was". "Well no, I am saying maybe if I get an answer maybe I could understand why he's not a believer in Christ, that's all". "Well I hope so, you know how mom and dad would feel about you marrying an unbeliever, God rest their souls". "I know Crissy, I know". Crissy and Clarrisa continued to jog along the pathway to take in the fresh air and beautiful scenery that enveloped the park. Clarrisa thought that maybe if she would dig a little deeper there might be a chance of hope but again it is a long shot seeing how Josh never made an attempt to work on that part of his life that he knew was very important to her. How she really missed him. Josh was the best thing that happened for her in awhile, beside her sister Crissy she was willing to trust him, she knew she could let her guard down and not get hurt, it was just something about him. She remembered the first time they met. It was at the farmers market in Michigan at the grant park and there were a lot of things to do for that summer day. Plenty of music, entertainment of all cultures, plenty of fruits and vegetables to buy, arts and crafts to buy and plenty of activities for the family. Crissy and Clarrisa set up a booth in the arts and crafts section to promote the pet shop and services, they brought along several puppies to draw the crowd, yeah who couldn't get won over by a cute little puppy face. That day was the day Clarrisa knew she met the one. "This little guy is definitely a cutie and a little feisty" Josh said as he reached down in the playpen to pet the pup. Clarrisa picked up the small poodle and allowed Josh to hold him. "Actually it's a girl and she is the leader in the playpen, most female dogs are". Clarrisa said as she stared into his deep green eyes but of course she didn't want to stare too hard to mess up a sale. "Well she is definitely a cutie; she will be great for a little girl". Josh said. Clarrisa thought this would be the perfect time to mill around for some questions of her own about Josh. "Oh you have all boys". Clarrisa said without sounding to nosey. Josh chuckled a little as to suggest he knew what she was hinting at. "Actually, I don't have children and I don't have a wife to give this cute little angel a home". He said looking directly at Clarrisa as to say I know what you're getting at. "Ummmm, I see..." Clarrisa said bashfully. "But I am looking". He said. "Oh for the right pup". Clarrisa said as she put the puppy back in the pen. "No a wife". He said softly as he allowed her to take the puppy out of his hands. "Well you come to the right place". Crissy said laughing. My sister here is single and is ready to mingle. "Cris!" clarrisa said embarrassed. Josh let out a loud laugh and a lit up gorgeous smile. "Hey she is just joking". He said to Clarrisa. "No I'm not". Crissy said singing it out very softly. "So is it true?" Josh said as he waited for an answer from Clarrisa. "Well I am single but I am not the mingling type". "Are you the type that would like to go out for a cup of coffee"? Josh said continuing to smile. "I don't even know your name". Clarrisa said holding out her hand. "Oh I'm sorry, it Josh and yours". "Clarrisa but everyone calls me Rissa". "Well Rissa would you like to go out for a cup of coffee, there's a café a little ways from here". "Well that sounds great but I do have to stay and watch the pet booth". Clarrisa said nervously. "Oh Rissa I can watch the booth, we only have three puppies left and I don't think it will be that hard to watch them and work the booth". Crissy said nudging her. Clarrisa could have pinched Crissy right in the side for that one. "Well I don't know, I hardly even know you". Clarrisa said as she busied herself at the booth. "Well the cup of coffee would be the first step". Josh said as he extended his hand. "Yeah Rissa and while your at it have a piece of coffee cake for me, I'm still trying to trim down from that last Caribbean feast from last week". Crissy said as she pushed her next to Josh. "Fine, I guess I could use a short break, okay why not". Clarrisa said as she reached under the booth for her purse. "Oh can I bring you anything back Crissy, a pound of ground coffee, chocolate coffee beans or some tape for that huge mouth of yours". Clarrisa said as she crumpled her nose at Crissy. "Don't worry I'll have you back before the festival closes, which is probably in about an hour and half". Josh said as he let Clarrisa take the lead. That day was the start of something special between Josh and Clarrisa, Somehow the hour and half turned into six hours of conversation, a walk along the Michigan pier, and horse carriage ride in the downtown heart of Michigan City and to top it off a night of dancing at the Spanish dance off festival near the pier of Michigan waters. Clarrisa never had this much fun in one day, just living life on a moments notice not knowing what adventure she would take in next. She never felt more alive in six hour than she has in years. He made her feel that she could do anything; he was a guy that had no limits on what he could do. He didn't ponder of his goal of that day he just did it; he was always taking her by the hand. Clarrisa was so glad that Crissy pushed her into having coffee with him as much as she wanted to be mad at her but after this she'll probably take over Crissy choirs at the pet shop. Clarrisa didn't want the night to end she was having a wonderful time and a greater time with Josh but she knew that the night had to end. "I am having such a good time I don't want the night to end but I do have to get up early". Clarrisa said feeling butterflies in her stomach, the night was so perfect the stars were shining so clear, the air was so sweet and warm, the moon gave its light so bright and josh eyes sparkled so strong. She felt within herself a deep connection with him, just an instant touch she knew that it would make her feel alive. Josh came closer and held her hand in his and gentle took his other hand and ever so lightly brush the hair from Clarrisa face and just for that quick moment both stared into each other eyes knowing that his touch meant a lot. Josh slowly moved in for a kiss and lightly kissed her on her cheek that has become rosy from the intense connection. "I would like to remain a gentleman". Clarrisa was so impressed that her face flushed from embarrassment. "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way". Clarrisa said slightly smiling. Could this be the guy of her prays; his manner was so perfect for her. She almost have given up on dating, some of the guys she was dating was so not right for her and of course little sister Crissy didn't make it any better, with her blind dates and because of that she decided not take anymore time in that area all she wanted to do was concentrate on the pet shop and growing the business. This would have been her parents wish. "Why don't I get you back home before your sister starts to worry"? Amazing her sister didn't call but she did text her to see how things was going and Clarrisa text back was simply don't wait up but knowing Crissy she was. "Clarrisa can you stop daydreaming for one minute and answer my question". Crissy said as she snapped her fingers in front of her face. Clarrisa hadn't realize that she a drifted off in thought on how her and Josh met, she had to face the facts that getting over him would not be that easy but she wanted to and no matter how much she threw herself into her work, the thoughts were still there and no matter where she went the thoughts of the things that they use to do enter her head; no place was off limits, the beach, the park, even the local bakery; all those places she couldn't escape or run from because they were apart of her life it was her community. Why did this one thing stand in the way, she wanted so much to take him back, to even pick up the phone on every call he made to her, the text messages he sent out to her, emails, letters, she wanted so much to get back with him, she evened tried to reason within herself that it didn't matter about his belief, so what he didn't believe in God everybody had some type of hang up and so why not him, but as soon as she felt the reasoning was justified there was always something that would snap her back into reality, like the fact that she would dream of her parents sitting at the kitchen table with her when she was a little girl saying how much they thought of her being their princess and that they only wanted her to have the prince of her dreams find her and make her happy forever, she could still hear the words of her mother voice " and remember princess God will bring him to you". She said holding her small hands. "How will I know momma?" "Because you will have peace and happiness". "With just a sprinkle of problems". My dad said chuckling and then the dream will end. Nothing would allow Clarrisa to take back Josh, not even the prays she prayed , surely God knew how much she loved him and wanted him in her life, it just didn't make sense; it seemed so perfect and right and now it's all over, a dream that really didn't even exist. "Hey Clarrisa! Clarrisa". The voice sounded familiar to her, almost the same voice of Josh, Clarrisa and Crissy turned around from their jogging and there coming up on his mountain bike was Josh looking great has ever. Josh pulled up right between Clarrisa and Crissy; he must have been riding for awhile because his clothes were covered in sweat. "Isn't it funny running into each other today huh"? Josh said as he took the water bottle from underneath his bike to drink, he nearly drunk the whole bottle but that wasn't surprising seeing he had sweated out his clothes and he's hair was dripping with sweat but it didn't matter he still was handsome as ever, the only thing the sweat did was make him look more masculine. "Well I better refill my water bottle". Crissy said walking toward the water fountain and eyeing me as to say stay strong. "You still look great Clarrisa". Josh said getting off his bike and standing closer to Clarrisa. Josh couldn't stand to be one foot away he had to be as close as possible to Clarrisa even when they would go out to eat he would sit next to her instead of in front of her. "Thanks Josh". Clarrisa said looking toward Crissy for help but Crissy was distracted by a conversation that she picked up with one of the local dog walkers. "So how are things going with you and the real estate business, did you ever get the house to close on pebblerock"? Clarrisa said to avoid any conversation on their relationship. "Naaaay, it fell through but there are other houses that have been selling like hot cakes, so business I can't complain". Josh said staring into her eyes. "Clarrisa....I ...I miss you so much". There it goes the conversation that she has been trying to avoid and now it was out in the air. "Josh please lets not..." Clarrisa said turning her head away to keep from looking into his eyes. "Lets not what? Lets not talk about us and our relationship, lets not talk about getting married". Josh said trying to conceal from raising is voice in public. "Yes Josh, I can't...I can't bare to talk about this". "Rissa you left me, this should be easier for you to talk to me not the other way around, look can we please just have dinner tonight and talk about things". Clarrisa knew three weeks wouldn't have changed him and she knew he probably didn't know why and how deep this whole subject of him believing in what she believed would and have an affect her. "Josh have you changed your mind ". " Are you kidding me, is this what this is all about, your going to let this one thing destroy our future together". Josh said angrily. "No! You are". Clarrisa said mustarding up the courage to speak up and out. Right at that point she felt free and for the first time she felt liberated to say what was rooted there all along. "Now if you don't mind I like to finish my jog with my sister". All josh could do is watch her run away again and at that point he knew he couldn't fight against her belief in God but he wasn't given in that easily to her belief, why should he, he had no reason to believe in God there was nothing in his life indicating that he should believe. Life for him consisted of living childhood nightmares, tortured thoughts and reckless upon reckless decisions. He remembers the day that evil did exist and the nightmares that would follow him. "Sweetie Josh, momma need you to wake up we have to go, come on get your sister dressed" Josh mother said as she hurried to put the kids clothes in a small suitcase. "Momma why are we leaving, what's going on"? Josh said as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Josh baby sister held josh hand tightly as if her two year mind new something was wrong. "No time for talk sweetheart momma want you two to be very quit we don't want to wake your father". Josh knew that his father had a bad temper and he knew he didn't want to be around his father when he got angry. Life in their household when his dad was gone was so wonderful, how Josh, his sister Rebecca and their mom took advantage of every moment they had to themselves. That is where he first learned about pray when he was eight years old, everyday when their dad would leave for work they would get on their knees for prayer before school and his mother would start her prayer first teaching Joshua and Rebecca how to pray. She would always ask God to protect Rebecca and Joshua and that they would grow up and be successful in what ever they wanted to be and Rebecca would always ask God for more dolls and Joshua just asked God to let his daddy be a good daddy but deep in Joshua heart he would pray that he would get a new daddy and that they would move far away from his real daddy but of course he would never tell his mom that he wanted a new daddy because he didn't want to make her cry more than she did. Rebecca would ask their mom why don't daddy pray with us and the only reply she would give is that "Your daddy don't believe in God "and that would be it; no reason behind it just plain and simple. So in order for Joshua to escape reality Joshua would imagine living in a grand house with butlers and maids and his mother being pampered by the help and her not worrying about being beaten and yelled at by that mean old man called dad because he would have left and never come back, Rebecca would retreat into her bed holding her pink knitted blanket and sucking on her pacifier to relieve the anxiety of the thoughts of her daddy beating their mom, Rebecca even would take the pacifier and blanket to school in fear that her dad would take her favorite things away from her, it was the only comfort that made her feel safe but dad wanted her to get rid of them both, he thought it was not natural for a two year old to be sucking a pacifier and holding a security blanket but Joshua and his mom knew the reason was for security of his dad. Joshua mom finally packed the small bag full of all three of there things and all three from the mother then Joshua and Rebecca including Rebecca security blanket were out the back door and walking in the dark after midnight down the road towards the next city that has a bus depot that stays open for twenty-four hours a day. "Momma why are we leaving". Asked Rebecca as she clutched the pink blanket against her chest. "I want us to have a new happy life filled with great dreams and good surprises". "I like surprises". Rebecca said but of course Joshua didn't because every surprise for him consisted of a spanking and no supper for the night when it came to his dad coming in from work in a bad mood and his mother didn't have it any easier, he really hated to see his mother cry but she would mostly hold it in because he knew she didn't want to upset Joshua or Rebecca but Joshua mother finally took a stand and decided the best thing was to runaway from their pain. "We're going to the bus station and we're going to be staying with your aunt Lockie for awhile, would you guys like that". Joshua mom said with a smile on her face, it was a smile that Joshua never saw before but it resembled something of relief and that made him feel relief because he knew his mother was doing something to make sure that all three would be happy. He didn't have to be grown to understand what his mother was doing. "Mommy I'm sleepy, I want to go home". Rebecca said as she ran up to hold her mother hand, "Be quiet Becky you're always whining". Joshua said. He knew she didn't understand the fullness of what was happening and he didn't want his little sister to influence his mother decision in turning around and going home. "Josh don't tell your little sister to be quiet, she probably is sleepy it is after midnight, now you be a big boy and carry the bag for your momma and I'll carry Rebecca". Josh was pleased with the decision his mom made and he happily picked up the bag. The walk was a little long but to Joshua it would be well worth it to know he didn't have to endure his father abuse any more. The walk lead them just a couple of blocks from the bus depot, he knew he remembered the bus depot because there was a forest preserve area for those picnicking after travel and that would be the place that they would go rest and eat after their aunt Lockie got off the bus from a long trip. Suddenly there was a noise from far behind and by the looks of it was a car which of course a few did pass by to go to the bus station but this car started to slow down and suddenly the engine noise stopped and then the car door opened but because the lights from the car was so bright it was impossible to see in the night who it could be....until the voice was recognizable. "What are doing out here in the dead of night woman". It was Joshua dad, he turned the car lights out and started walking toward them. " Did you hear me woman, why are you out here so late with these kids huh! Are you planning on going some where?" "Jeff....I...I just wanted to visit my sister that's all", she said as she squeezed tightly Rebecca who was still in her arms. "Daddy". Rebecca said crying. "I want you to get yourself back in that car and I'm gonna show you when we get back to the house not to run away from me again". He said as he walked to the car. Joshua couldn't believe what was going on he was so close to his freedom and Joshua started to cry. "Shut your mouth boy and get yourself in this car". Jeff said as he held the door open. Could it end like this, the freedom that was only blocks away? "No! No! We're not coming back Jeff we're leaving and not coming back". Joshua mother said as she continued to cry. "You get yourself in this car woman before I really give you something to cry about!" Jeff said as he slowly walked toward her. Joshua mom started to walk backwards with Rebecca in her arms. Joshua felt his small world crashing around him, the monster of his home was coming to take them back, Joshua couldn't let that happen, he had to think of something. "You do what I say woman!" And right then Joshua went up and kicked Jeff in his bad knee and Jeff let out a yell. "Why you little". Jeff fell to the ground and held on to his bad knee. Joshua knew he won and ran towards his mother. "Nooooo! Jeff". Was all Joshua heard his mother say before he look back to see his dad holding a silver gun, for minute he thought it was his play gun that he got for Christmas but he shot at his mother missing her." Run Josh!" His mother yelled and Joshua ran opposite of his mother and his mother ran in the forest preserve with Rebecca in her arms, Josh heard shots near him but was to scared to look back, he ran until sweat soaked his clothes and his hair. He laid down on the ground taking off his long sleeve white shirt and hiding it in the leaves to keep his dad from seeing him at night. He could no longer hear his mother screaming and he couldn't hear his dad foot steps and he was too scared to yell out for his mother because he feared of being caught by his dad. Joshua tried to look for a little light from the bus depot but he must have went to far back in the preserves, the minutes felt like hours and he was cold just has fast as he took off his shirt. He laid straight on the ground catching his breath and just then he heard his mother scream. "Jeff No! Jeff No!" and then all of a sudden he heard two gunshots and then silence. Joshua ran with so much force toward the gun shots, his heart beating so fast that he could feel it outside of his chest; still not able to yell for fear of his dad he listened out for his mother and Rebecca but he heard nothing except for the footsteps of his dad and suddenly he kneeled down on the grown listening to the steps not knowing if they were headed towards him or another direction, Joshua skin was full of sweat and dirt, his heart racing so fast that he started breathing out of sequence to his normal breathing. His stomach was nervous and his head was hurting from the fear of not yelling for help. He wanted to call out for help, he wanted his mother, he wanted to yell for her and his sister but he was scared. The foot steps finally stopped and Joshua stopped moving, he never felt so alone; the feeling was worst than looking under his bed for monster at night. The feeling was beyond fear, it was now emptiness. Joshua began to whimper and that small sound allowed his dad to shoot out in that direction. "You can't run from me boy!" Joshua started to crawl away from the sounds of the bullets still crying he felt his skin being torn by the branches and rocks on the ground. "Get back here!" Joshua started to hear more foot steps and then yelling. The words were not of his dad which brought relief to him. "Put down your gun this is the police". Joshua heard foot steps in all directions. He knew he was safe but he couldn't go back, he couldn't face to see his dad or live with his anger. Joshua ran the opposite direction of the foot steps of his heroes until he got to a road that was on the other side of the preserves and has he ran he could hear his dad yelling profanity toward the officers and yet he didn't hear the voice of his mother or sister. He knew it was not good, he knew that he would never see them again. "Josh man! What's new bro"? "Huh...uhhhh... I". Josh said startled. "Dude what's going on, you look like you seen a ghost". It was his buddy Dan. Josh didn't realize he was still in the park still standing in the same place Clarrisa left him at but to him he still stood in that forest preserve that night. "Josh bud! Snap out of it". Dan said as he started to snap his fingers. "Sorry I saw Clarrisa and her sister not to long ago". Josh said coming back into existence. "Ohhhhhh! Say no more my friend, dude when are you gonna get over her, she's ruining your life, your not hanging out anymore I haven't seen you around the office and we haven't played basketball in three weeks". Dan said steadying himself on his roller blades. "Guy I am sorry but I just been busy". Josh said as he got back on his bike. "Yeah Right! Busy in the house crying the blues, look we're going out tonight, you need to take the edge off guy; I'll pick you up at eight". Dan said as he rollerbladed off. "But I don't want to go out". Josh said as he yelled out to Dan. "At eight!" Dan yelled back and disappeared in the crowd of people in the park. How in the world could he enjoy his self when the woman of his dreams keeps running out on him? He knew all he had to do was to accept her beliefs in God and work through it and get counseling but that was just not an option for him, he grew up without the love of his mother and the friendship of his sister, his challenges of being all alone was finally nestled within him until his adoptive parents loved him beyond his pain, they wouldn't allow any hurt to enter into his heart even if it meant no more praying, it just didn't work for him, all that praying for nothing; everyday on his knees believing with a big heart and to go through a life so messed up with no hope; no way a eight year old child wants to go through that, it was no way he will relive it. He didn't want to give up on the woman of his dreams but what about what he wanted, he wanted to bury his past and not relive it, it just have to be another way. He decided he would go visit Dr. Nichols again, hey why not, the first visit wasn't that bad, he already expose the truth that he was adopted by a family in another state and any form of contact with any family member was absolutely gone, as far as he knew there was no more family left, he had no idea of what happened to his dad, he never even went to his mother or sister funeral but I guess the child welfare office thought it might be to much for an eight year old child and they would be right, when he got adopted out by his parents, they took extra precautions on what he would watch on television, where he would go and who was in his life. Clearly they protected him at all measure from all the turmoil that he went through and that even meant going to church and praying. It was many times that he would ease drop late at night after his adoptive parents would put him to bed and he would listen in on the conversation between his adoptive parents and their parents at the top of the stairs, it was an on going battle to the end but in the end his adoptive parents won. He could still hear the conversation. "Sweetheart this is not natural for you to keep the boy away from his past and away from church, he needs to understand who God is and he needs to get over this horrific ordeal that he has been through, I taught you better than this, you yourself grew up with pray and God, now how can you deny that to Joshua and I know you want to do the right thing but this is just wrong dear". Grandma said as she reached for tissue that she had in her purse. "Mom, this is the best thing for Joshua, we have gone over this a dozen times, Joshua was a wreck when he came here, he couldn't sleep, sometimes we would find him curled up in a closet or under his bed, he wouldn't eat, he was scared to go to school because he didn't know if his dad would some how find him and now since we have been able to keep him from everything that reminds him of the past, he has come around wonderfully. My mom said smiling. "But pray and church honey that's a bit too much". Grandma said as she lifted her coffee cup up to drink. "Mom we've tried, it's not like we didn't care, we tried everything that we could think of to see if he would at least pray but he refused, he said it reminded him of his mother and sister and why put him through that torture, so we decided to let him make that decision on his own and if that means keeping him out of church then that's what we're willing to do. " Oh dear, what a mistake your making but I can't do anything, I am but the grandmother". Mom would take a sigh of relieve and the expression that she had on her face said that she finally won an agreement. "Thanks Mom and you'll see it will work out". "Of course it will dear even if I have to pray about it myself!" Grandma said. Joshua knew his adoptive mom was only concerned and he loved his adoptive grandmother but he had to side with his adoptive mom, he just couldn't bare praying or going to church besides all it did was the opposite of what he wanted and what's worst, God took his sister and mother, why bother to believe if things like that would happen. Josh made a promise to himself that he would not bring up his past in any way at all and that meant hiding it from the woman he loved.

### SESSION TWO WITH THE PSYCH

### Josh made an emergency appointment with Dr. Nichols and decided to try to be a little bit more open minded about his past; however he knew it wouldn't be easy and he knew it still would take time. "Josh, I'm glad that you came back, there so much we need to talk about". Dr. Nichols said as he gave Josh a firm handshake. "Dr.Nichols I'm still not fully comfortable in talking about my past but I gotta start some where, I saw my ex-fiancé over the weekend and all those emotions just floated to the top, she still makes my heart leap, which sounds corny but its true". Josh said as he put his head between his hands. "Well Josh it's only been three weeks, you can't expect feelings just to go away that fast. Now have you given any more thought in letting her know that you were adopted and maybe then she will try to work with you in your building a solid relationship with her"? Josh took a deep breath and sighed. "Doc, I can't do that". "Why can't you Josh". Josh didn't like where this conversation was leading to, he took a great deal of care in hiding his pain and now a complete stranger is trying to dig it all up. "Listen doc I have my reason and right now I thought I could talk about it but now that I am here I just can't". " Josh, let me just say this, I got a date in an hour and I have been trying to date this wonderful lady for about seven months, so unless your willing to break some walls today, this is going to have to continue Tuesday". Dr. Nichols said with a half smile. "Are you serious, hey? I am the client, your not suppose to talk to me that way, I'm paying you a nice piece of change buddy, show a little respect". "Josh, you called me on an emergency right when I was going to shine the beamer, so actually this is on the house". "Oh, well...come on Doc have a little compassion will you". Josh said as he got up furiously. "You got ten minutes Josh". Dr. Nichols said as he looked at his watch. "This is crazy; I can't believe this, is this even legal!" "Oh it's legal". Dr. Nichols said as he started putting back Josh file. "Fine, Fine....I...I'm adopted because I...I was abandon". Josh said as he threw his body back in the comfortable chair. "Abandon how". Dr. Nichols said as he pulled back out Josh file. "My Dad took away my mother and sister and I was left all alone". Dr. Nichols slowly sat in his chair and leaned back in thought, he was silent for nearly five minutes. "Doc, doc stay with me would you; I don't need you going off to la la land". Josh said as he waved his hands in front of him. " No no Josh, it just kind of took me by surprise, I would not have expected that, I am really sorry to hear that and I am sorry I put the pressure on you but some things must be moved out of the way before you can get to the heart of the matter". "Doc, I really want to move forward because I really do want this special woman in my life but I don't want the horrible memories I had to haunt me again". "Joshua... I mean Josh, you have to move forward if you want a new beginning. That's the only way things are going to work out right for you", look I add on another ten minutes free of charge; I really need you to tell me about the abandonment issue with your parents". "What about your date doc!" Josh said easing into the chair. "Don't worry if she is the great girl who I think she is, well she will understand". Joshua started tell Dr. Nichols all about how is parents and how he ended up being an orphan, Joshua couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face, his chest trembled from the anxiety of that night, his hands clinched tight from the fear of remembering his dad anger that day in the forest preserve. It took nearly five years after the incident to not react over anything that resembled the sound of gun fire. Oh how he had a lot of past hurts cluttering his heart, so many years had piled up so much animosity and pain. For all the hurt that he went through he would bandage it up to keep from looking at the scar straight in the eye. He couldn't bare the thought of losing his family all over again; to relieve the tragedy in his mind time after time. Joshua nearly cleaned out the box of Kleenex of Dr. Nichols desk. " Josh, I don't want you to go on until there are no more tears and I truly am touched by your experience, please come and have lunch with me this Tuesday at the Riverside Café, they have the greatest cold pastas there is". Dr Nichols said as he gave him a pat on the back. "I don't know doc, what If we start talking about my past and I start balling like a little baby in public, what I would look like". Josh said as he put the rest of his used Kleenex in the wastebasket. "Don't worry Josh, I have a feeling you can hold your composure, I just think it will relax you more if you would enjoy the scenery and some great food, so what do you say?" "Well, yeah wait am I still paying you!" Dr. Nichols chuckled as he put back Josh folder. "Of course, but I'll treat for lunch". "Hey you still get the better end of the deal here". Josh said half smiling.

### In Hopes of Moving Forward

### I finally convinced Crissy to just go out and allow me to stay home and just relax. I know she has good intentions but sometimes she makes so much of a fuss over me that she neglects her personal life, She needs a life too and I don't want to stand in the way of that, besides I needed time to think over meeting Josh in the park today, could I had said something different, did I smile to much or to little, did I give enough eye contact...oh dear so many little details to makeup for a lot of nonsense. Why should I ponder about Josh, he didn't even care to meet me half way. Clarrisa tried so hard to convince herself that she really didn't want to see Josh any more but the more she convinced herself the more she missed him. She prayed so many times that God would change Josh heart and that he would want to begin a life in Christ and yet she didn't see a change. She knew that God schedule wasn't her schedule but she sure was hoping for a quick turn around but she didn't give up. Sometimes she didn't have the strength to pray for the same thing over again and some days she did but her mom taught her that pray changed situations and conditions but right now it doesn't look like any changes are occurring at this point. Clarrisa had to make a decision to move forward in her life, she did not want to hold on to what might or might not be. She had to make a stand, it's either sit around and be miserable and think on what could have been with Josh or it's going to be day by day living life on a fresh start. Just then the phone rang and startled Clarrisa, she was so in thought it took her by surprise. She quickly reached over the arm of the couch for the phone hoping it would be Josh and then she paused, what if it is Josh and I answer to quickly then he will think that I was waiting on him but if I don't answer right away and it is Josh he might hang up to soon. Clarrisa slowly turned over her cell phone and looked at the caller Id number she really didn't recognize the number but she answered anyway. "Hello". The deep voice said on the other end. "Hello". Clarrisa said very curious. "Clarrisa, hi its Allen Page....Allen from the bakery on Tenth Street....you and your sister Crissy usually come in on Fridays and get our special flavored coffee and danishes". He said nervously. "Allen....ohhhhh Allen, Hi". Clarissa said relieved to finally put a face to the voice and Allen sighed with relief as well hearing that she did recognize him. "Allen how did you get my cellular number". "I do apologize Clarrisa, I know it's not traditional but your sister Crissy was in here this pass Friday and well, she and I were talking and it was mentioned in conversation that your engagement is off and well...Crissy that thought maybe you and I should go out for coffee one day". What! Has Crissy lost it, what is she thinking giving out my number like that". Wait until she gets home tonight, boy is she going to get an ear full. "Allen, I am flattered that you would consider going out with me but...". " Clarrisa I see where this is going but hear me out...okay; I have always had a crush on you since you and your sister came in the bakery for the very first time but I would never say anything, thinking that a nice woman like you wouldn't want to date an average guy like me and when I did have the courage to ask you out that's when you came In the bakery with the guy who you called your fiancé, so you see I really was interested in you for quit some time, I just didn't have the opportunity to express myself and since your sister told me of the news of your breakup well, I figured you could use a night out". Clarrisa was just about to turned Allen down for the invite but she remembered that she needed to move forward in her life, the change had to come sooner or later, so why not sooner; besides Allen is an attractive guy and he does have some things going for him. "Allen, I would be delighted to go out sometime". Just then Clarrisa heard the phone drop and then silence. "Allen, Allen are you there". Clarrisa said wondering if he was okay, she even giggled a bit secretly. There was noise of some kind and then Allen made a sound of relief sigh. "Sorry about that, I was kind of taken off guard by your answer, that's wonderful, how about Tuesday for lunch I know a great restaurant that you will love, Crissy tells me you really enjoy pasta and I know the perfect place". "That sounds nice Allen". Clarrisa said. "Great! I'll pick you up at noon at your shop". "Sound good Allen, bye". Clarrisa hung up the phone and immediately all her emotions for Joshua sort of took a back seat for a moment, she must admit that she hasn't been out enjoying herself in a month and it did feel pretty nice to have a guy fuss over her. Wait what is this some type of smile that has cracked across her lips. Yes indeed she is smiling again. Maybe this is exactly what she needed to get her life back on track. Poor Allen he may not be Mr. Right but for now he is Mr. Right now and who know where this may lead and if Clarrisa memory serve her correctly she did notice him at some of the church services, hmmmm. There might be something to all of this who knows. Clarrisa decided to enjoy the rest of her night since she was in a good mood with some flavorful chocolate fudge ice-cream and an action pack movie, Why spoil the rest of her night. Things were starting to look up for her. Hey she even decided not to give Crissy an ear full but she did decide to wait up for Crissy to see how her night out went.

### LUNCH DATE

### The afternoon started off very well, Allen came and picked up Clarrisa and did all the right things a woman would want a guy to do, from opening the car door, helping her with her jacket and pulling out the chair. Hmmm maybe to well; Clarrisa was a little nervous from his wonderful manners, she was hoping that he would mess things up and that way she could think back on how Josh was the perfect match for her but of course it is not working out that way. Allen looked great, it's a wonder why she never knew that before; he was polite, well mannered, funny, smart and he loved animals, which of course is a major plus in her book. " Clarrisa I am so glad that you said yes to lunch, I must admit that I was a little nervous and I really didn't expect a answer right a way or even an answer at all. "Allen, you're going to make me blush, I am not that unapproachable that you couldn't converse with me". Clarrisa said as she continued to eat her pasta salad. "Well I am glad that I am now out of that phase". Allen said as he raised his glass of ice tea for a toast. "Here is to more great lunches now and in the future". Clarrisa actually giggled like a school girl, so much attention for one date; she lifted her glass with an honest smile. "More lunches". Clarrisa said as she sipped on her lemonade. Clarrisa found herself actually having a nice time, laughing and relaxing. It was just what she needed after three weeks of hoping and praying for Josh to realize that he would have to come half way but enough about Josh she just wanted to enjoy the nice lunch and Allen conversation on his trip to Italy. "Allen I don't mean to interrupt you but I just wanted to say thank you for lunch, it is just what I needed". "Clarrisa you don't have to thank me it's what I wanted to do for a long time and besides; you deserve to be spoiled good. Clarrisa found herself giggling again like a little school girl.

### LUNCH DATE TWO

### "Dr. Nichols this is a nice café, I never knew it was in the old town of Michigan City" Josh said as he enter in the café looking around. "I love this place; it has the best pasta and the best live bands at night". Josh and Dr. Nichols were seated by the waiter only two tables away from Clarrisa and Allen and for a while Josh had not notice because his back was towards Clarrisa. "Wow she is a stunning woman, she reminds me of the woman that I am dating now". "Oh, the woman that you neglected your client for". Josh said as he turned around to see what the woman looked like. "I don't believe it". Josh said as he turned quickly back around. "Beautiful isn't she but of course my eye is on the one that I have been waiting for". Dr. Nichols said as he looked over the menu. "Doc! That's her! The woman that I have fallen in love with and cannot get out of my mind, she is the reason why I'm seeing you, she is the reason why I want to do better". Dr. Nichols looked slowly again at the woman and her date and then back at Josh. "I can't believe she is on a date, we've only been broken up for little over a month!" Josh said as he tried to conceal his back to Clarrisa. "Well Josh, she does have to move on sooner or later, she actually is doing a good thing". The doc said as he sipped on his ice water. " Doc, your not helping me right now, this is suppose to be a breakthrough for me going to lunch with my shrink but instead I'm faced knowing that the woman that I love have decided to start dating again; I haven't even started thinking about dating". Josh said as he started to slowly tap his fingers on the table. "Josh actually this is a good thing, now it is time to see how well you can handle your break up". "Doc, the whole reason for being in this little session here is to better myself so I can get her back". "But Josh, you can't expect her to wait around forever, especially since she doesn't know whether or not you're going to change". Josh let out a long sigh, the doc was right, he couldn't expose the truth to her, he couldn't let her know his pass not now, he actually was doing very well with the doc but not that well were in wanted to let her know all the hurt he was holding inside. "Looks like the guy she is with just went to the men's room, why don't you take a giant step and say hi, it will be a breaking point for you to let go". "Doc I'm not trying to let go, that's the point, I want her back". "Well, until you are over your past, this is a break-up". "And why did I come to lunch with you again?" Josh said as he stood up and wonder why he had to get a shrink that needed a shrink himself. "Well here it goes". Josh took a deep breath and took a few steps to Clarrisa table. "Hello beautiful". Josh said as he gazed upon her beauty. Clarrisa was so caught up in her date with Allen she didn't even recognize Josh voice. "Allen, you really are spoiling me to much today". As she looked up and caught Josh face. She was totally stunned to see Josh standing there; handsome as ever. "Josh! What are doing here, I..." Clarrisa was at a lost for words, she just started to think of the possibilities of a new life without Josh and here he is standing inches away from her. "I am actually two tables down from you and well I thought I stop by to say hello.....so hello". Josh said as he found himself feeling a bit confident. Maybe the doc had a good point. "Josh, I don't know what to say, I..." Clarrisa said as she choked on her words. "Well saying hello would be a start". Clarrisa laughed a bit, she considered that she had nothing to be nervous of, the two of them were broken up of course and she is seeing someone else for right now. "Hello Josh". Clarrisa said smiling a smile of confidence in her. The silent between the two seem like it lasted for a long time, for a moment it felt like the two of them only existed in the café. "Clarrisa, I really miss you". Josh couldn't believe he broke down that easily and told her of his feelings that quick. "I mean it Clarrisa, I think about you night and day". Josh said as he sat down in Allen sit. " I see you're here on a date, which of course I understand, I know you can't wait around for me but I still love you and I think you still love me too". He said as a reached for her hand. "Josh this is not easy for me but I can't do this anymore, I need to move on and you do to". Clarrisa said as she moved away her hand from Josh. "Are you happy Clarrisa"? Josh said as he leaned in for an answer. "She is definitely happy today". Allen said as he stood by Clarrisa side. "Hope I didn't take to long, I got a call about a shipment that was running late, Allen said". Allen reached out his hand to Josh and for a minute Josh didn't know if he wanted to shake his hand or punch the guy lights out, he was in fact dating the woman that he was still in love with". "Josh". As he held out his hand for Allen to shake, Josh really didn't want to make a big scene; he wanted to keep his cool if he was going to try to get Clarrisa back again. "Well if you excuse me I guess I will go back to my table, you guys enjoy the rest of your day". Josh said as he straightened his tie. Josh couldn't believe he was walking away from the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, what was he thinking, he was so glad that Dr. Nichols was with him. He didn't know if he wanted to thank Dr. Nichols or accuse Dr. Nichols for putting him in a very uncomfortable situation. "Well how did it go"? Dr. Nichols said smiling. "Doc, I felt like I lost a battle". Josh said as he sat back down in his original chair. "It's never easy but I think you actually did great and of course she is doing very well in her moving on with her life". "I can't stay here; let's go doc". " Josh if you leave now, you not only lost the battle but the war.....look you have to accept the facts, she is moving on with her life but if you want her back then you have to accept it and then work on getting over your past, it's the only way". "Doc, I'll give it a shot, if it means getting her back then that's what I will do". Josh said as he opened the menu.

### Clarrisa composure was still relaxed even though she knows that Josh had actually made her more tense than she really wanted to let on. "I take it that was your ex-fiancé Josh". Allen said as he sipped his ice tea. "Yes it was and I am sorry, I had no idea he would be here". Clarrisa said with assurance. "Please Clarissa you don't have to apologize for him; if I was your ex- fiancé I would want to talk to you too, you're a wonderful woman". Clarrisa felt a bit of ease come over her after Allen spoke those wonderful words to her but deep down she knew she still loved Josh. " Clarrisa, I know you probably still love your ex- fiancé and you don't have to explain to me that you do or you don't but I just want you to know that whether you decide to date me or not I totally respect you and your decision because I know I am right in the middle of you getting over him and starting a new chapter in your life, I just want to enjoy your company for now, besides if God says it's a Go for us then let it be". Allen said raising his drink as to salute a cheer. Clarrisa was very impress by Allen way of thinking and yes she knows he was a go between in her life but she didn't want to stop seeing Allen though she felt strongly for Josh. " Allen thank you for being supportive, you know I was going to ask to leave but since you made me feel so at ease; I have decided to stay, besides the pasta his great and so is the company". Clarrisa said has she smiled and sipped her lemonade. Clarrisa was glad that she made the choice of going out with Allen, he express that he believed in God and that he was raised to know how great God is unlike Josh who rarely wanted to talk about God, even though she knew he would try for a moment just to make her happy. Yes indeed Allen was a man of God, very polite, sincere, understanding and a gentleman and yet she couldn't get Josh out of her heart yet.

### MOVING FORWARD

### Rissa lunch date with Allen was the beginning of many opportunities of getting herself back on track, she knew it only took one date to get things going forward but no matter how much she convinced herself of this she thought about Josh even more but she knew she had to break this habit which is why she decided to go out with Allen again; poor thing he even knows that he is just the substitute of her lost but for some reason he don't mind at least that the impression she gets. "So how was the lunch date", Crissy said as she put back the new litter of puppies in the kennel. "Actually it was great, Allen was a true gentleman". I said as I started balancing the books. "Oh he even stood his ground when Josh came over to the table and spoke to me". "How in the world did Josh get involved"? Crissy said as she continued to clean up after the puppies. "I didn't even know he would be there, he totally took me off guard but I remained calm, even though I was a nervous wreck". Clarissa said as she put down her pen and envision the lunch date. "Boy he sure did look good". Rissa said. "Who Allen?" Crissy thought out loud. "No Josh, I just new he would lose his cool and start a fight but he remain very cordial, which is one of the reason I love him so much". "Rissa! Your gonna have to get over this Josh, concentrate on Allen, he goes to church, he believes in God and his handsome". Crissy said. "Listen I think Allen is a nice guy but these feelings for Josh are in me and that's that, I just can't turn my feelings off like a faucet but I can try to take baby steps in getting over him, which is why I decided to go out with Allen again". "Well good for you, now your moving forward, by the way shouldn't you be thanking me for fixing you up with a fabulous guy". Crissy said throwing the broom in Rissa hands. Crissy always was the I told you so type of child, she could never keep her nose out of anyone business. "If anything I should strangle you, I really didn't want to be bothered with any guys right now but in this case I will say thank you, I just hope he is worth dating". Clarissa said as she picked up the broom and headed out front to sweep the store. "What is that suppose to mean". Crissy said as she watched Clarrisa sweep. "Well Josh and I have not once; well you know..."Clarissa said shyly. "I know what, what you are talking about once...wait a minute....ohhhh, are you serious you guys been together for a year and you haven't had fun time yet!" Crissy giggled. "Of course not, don't get me wrong there have been times when we wanted to but we didn't, he said he would wait until we were married and..." Clarissa stopped in her tracks with her mouth open wide. "What, what". Crissy said puzzled. "Well were not getting married now, you don't think he would...I mean you know, go out and be with another woman". Clarrisa said wide eyed. "Well he has been faithful for a year and he is a man, soooooo I say duhhh! Clarrisa you don't expect him to stay sex free the rest of his life , remember he is not a Christian so its gonna happen". Crissy said as a matter of fact. "You know what! I don't feel like cleaning up, I am gonna go and make some tea". Clarrisa said as she dropped the broom on the floor. Crissy could be so brutal at times and she doesn't ever watch the words that come out of her mouth and she has no emotions at time, I can't believe that we share the same parents. Crissy followed her to the workplace kitchen like a little child wanting more information. "Clarrisa, listen I don't mean to be mean about it but it is the truth; frankly I can't believe he held out this long". Crissy said. "Well he did, he never pressured me and he always made me feel special, that is one of the reasons why I loved him so much and now it is going to be harder to find that again". Clarissa said as she made a pot of tea. "I can never get through the third month with a guy because he expects me to wiggle his fancy, so yeah I do understand and so if you had a guy like that well he is definitely a diamond in the rough". Crissy said as she took out a couple of coffee cups. "Yeah but remember he doesn't believe in God and if he did he would be perfect". Crissy said "Perfect for me, that is". Clarissa said with a slight giggle. "Look at me I have been so absorbed in my life and my problems that I didn't even bother to ask about your life, I know you have been dating a few times already, is there anyone special". Clarissa said making her tea. "You know Clarissa, I am so about done with dating, it is usually the same thing, and you get so into the guy and wham! He wants to get intimate right away, my dates usually last only a couple of months, men today are not so into the word of God, sure they go to church and may even be in the choir but that is as far as it get, I decided to explore and date outside the church, I figure as long as he believes in God why not give it a chance, I am not getting anywhere with the Christian men". "Crissy if these Christian men are so into having sex then there not true Christian men". Clarissa said. " Isn't that strange, you have a Guy that is willing to wait to have sex after marriage and he doesn't believe in God and I have the Christian guys I date that believe in God and can't control their pants, it is so weird how life works". Crissy said as she made a cup of tea. "I know, I prayed so long for to have a true Christian guy". Clarissa said. "That was a given, it goes with out saying". Crissy said getting up and dumping out her tea. "You know I decided again to give dating one more shot and if it doesn't work for me this time Clarissa, I am going to retire". Both of them started to laugh. "So who is the guy you're dating now, is he a Christian". Clarissa said. "No but he does believe in God and that is good enough for me for right now". Crissy said. "Just be careful you don't want your heart broken over a guy you hardly know". Clarissa said. "Well this guy is a little different; I only started dating him a couple of weeks ago and so far so good". Crissy said twirling about making her skirt balloon out. "So when can I meet this new guy of yours". Clarissa said. "Not so fast, I need to see if this is someone I want to be around for a long time to come, so far it's kind of iffy". Crissy said. Crissy was always dating Mr. Wrong, it was always something wrong with the guy, either he was too old, too young, no job, workaholic, he needed to either find himself, lose himself or just plain confused. Crissy is a good person but a little blunt, forward, assertive and a classic comic, were totally opposite of each other, she has always had trouble with getting dates and keeping them, maybe because she was to assertive or maybe she was to outspoken who knows, I really hope that she finds someone that is good to her, she has always looked out for me and I just want the best for her. Our parents never let us believe that we could not find Mr. Right, they always told us to love ourselves so much that when the right one comes he would love us more than that, my parents marriage is an example of what we both would want in a relationship, it is to bad that the men today can't measure up to the ones from yesterday. It took me so long to find a man like Josh who was so right for me and the only problem is the biggest problem, if he was a sport fanatic, showed up late for every date I could take that but not to believe in God that I can not accept, I have prayed and prayed so long and now I don't see any results only makes me believe that he is not the one for me, my prays have not been answered so I have to move forward. Now I need to pray that the Lord give me strength to completely let him go.

### THE PAST IS ALIVE

### I know I still love Rissa but I know I am still fighting my past, I can't allow my past to come alive and I am not willing to go that far yet and to think I had waited for her for a whole year but to me it was as if I waited only a day, maybe I need to see the doc and see what he thinks I should do, maybe I should just go on a date to ease my hurt, I mean she is moving on herself and the way it look; it seems she was having the time of her life, yeah why not. Josh said as he straighten his tie as he looked at himself in the mirror, he looked around his condo and took pride in his place a man cave within itself, clean lines, artistic designs of furniture, beautiful mahogany hardwood floors, top of the line appliances, beautiful bay windows, fifty-five inch flat screen television in both bedrooms and a sixty inch in the living room, this is the place where every man dreams come true. Rissa and I had great dinners and beautiful weekends in this supposedly bachelor pad but I was ready to give this up for a white picket fence for the woman of my dream. Before Rissa came into my life this place had many good dates, the ladies were quite impress with my pad, some even thought that they would be able to change it with dollies and curtains, I knew that wasn't happening. This place was my web and I was the spider and they fell for it each and every time, I couldn't see myself tied down with one woman, I couldn't be bothered, when they saw I didn't want a relationship which I kindly told each one in the beginning, it was like they took my words and threw them out the window, so of course I had to prove myself by avoidance and lack of concern, if I didn't they would not get the picture but my playboy days came to an halt with Rissa and now I am getting a taste of my own medicine, Payback is brutal and maybe I deserve it but then I didn't know love until I met Rissa. She is an incredible woman and before her, I was so into appearance; wanting to look good in my Mercedes benz, best clothes and tailored made of course, degrees in business, finances, PHD in accounting, yes indeed I had the life I always wanted, the life I wanted to give my mother but unfortunately I can't but when Rissa came in my life she made me forget all of that, I really miss her. Josh put on his jacket and checked out his hair and contemplated in his mind on if he should release a years worth of waiting, why not pull out the old black book but unfortunately he got rid of it half way through their relationship but of course it is the new potentials that have been hoping for him to break up with Rissa, before he could finish the thought on a date for the weekend the intercom buzzed. "Yes, who is it". In Josh mind he was hoping it was Rissa sweet voice but instead it was a deep raspy voice. "Joshua Stevens". The voice said. "Yeah who wants to know"? Josh said. "Josh this is detective Ingram can I speak to you for a minute". The unfamiliar voice said. Josh did not know a detective Ingram or recognize the voice so to play it safe he thought it would be better to go down and see what was going on. "I'm on my way down anyway so I will see you in the lobby". Josh said. In the lobby Josh notice the concierge and another man in the lobby and since he knew who the concierge was the other person had to be detective Ingram. "Detective Ingram". Josh said as he held out his hand to shake in confidence. "Joshua Stevens, pleasure; I hope I am not taking up to much of your time". Detective Ingram said as he widens his stance. "Actually I am going into the office but I am very curious of why you would like to see me". Josh said puzzled. "Well Mr. Stevens it wasn't easy tracking you down but with the help of the F.B.I it wasn't hard after that". Detective Ingram said smiling. Josh couldn't believe he was being delayed by a man claiming to be a detective, what in the world would they want from him, the taxes are legit, his real estate company is legit, Josh couldn't understand what it could be. "Detective Ingram, can you tell me why you stop by". Josh said anxiously. The detective cleared his voice and handed Josh some papers he pulled out from the inside of his blazer jacket. "Mr. Stevens I came to inform you that your father is being released from prison and I wanted to drop off the paper work of his where about and his release information from the correctional center". Josh stared in unbelief, did he just hear the detective right, is this really for real, Josh had to ask him to repeat what he just said in order to grasp realization to start kicking in. "I know that this is a shocker to you Mr. Stevens, especially since all detail of your dad was withheld from you since you were a small tot but we have to disclose to everyone when their attacker is being release from prisoner and your no different". Detective Ingram stated. "Well I guess this was a waste of a trip for you because I can care less where the scum bag is and I don't want any paperwork on him either so thanks but no thanks". Josh said as he turned out to leave. "Mr. Stevens we have reason to believe that he may want to contact you as well, so we want you to be fully aware". Detective Ingram said irritated. "Detective Ingram like I said before I don't care, let him find me, I am not a tot anymore". Josh said sarcastically as he turned to leave out the door. "Do you care about your mother and sister?" Detective Ingram said sarcastically. Josh turned around quickly and walk toward the detective quickly as to pounce on him. "Detective you're stepping on a very fine line with me". Josh said nose to nose with the detective. The detective suddenly knew that Josh was hurting from the story that he remembered on how he was a kid and went through losing his parents and sister. "Mr. Stevens your mother and sister are alive". Detective Ingram said compassionately. At that moment it felt like a truck just slammed into Josh chest, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, was he even conscience, was he still sleep. "What...I...I...detective what are you saying". Josh said barely able to speak. "Josh, your family is alive and well... but unfortunately I can't tell you more than that for what now". "Detective you just sent me on an emotional roller coaster, you gotta tell me, you just got to". Josh said grabbing him by his shoulders. Josh started pacing back and forth trying to find answer within him self. "Mr. Stevens please calm down, look why don't you come down to the police station on market street, I'll be there for the next day or two getting some paper work together but if you can't make it then here is my card if you need anything, don't hesitate". Detective Ingram gave Josh a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Josh took the detective card and stood in the lobby for a total of twenty-minutes with the detective card in his hand unable to move from the shock of information that was given to him. "Mr. Stevens, Mr. Stevens are you alright; do you want me to call you a cab or do you need assistance back to your condo". The concierge said slightly holding Josh up gently. "I...no, no I am okay just let me sit down for a moment". Josh went over by the cushion lounge chair in the lobby; he nearly sat there for thirty minutes before realizing that he haven't moved. "Mr. Stevens I am really concerned, why don't you let me have someone take you back to your apartment". Said the concierge. "No but can you call a cab for me I don't think I am in a position to drive". Josh said as put his head in his hands. Josh shortly called Dan his best friend to meet him at the office. "Yeah bro, you want believe this, I need you to meet me at my office ASAP, no I'm fine I'll tell you about it when I get there". A FREE MAN AGAIN

### Jeff Stevens new that one day he would be a free man but he never knew freedom would feel so good, the moment he stepped out the maximum security center, the air was sweeter than honey. "Well, well look at what the jail spit out, it's good to see you". Allen said as he pulled his step father towards him. "It's good to be out for the second time boy". Jeff said has he rustled Allen hair. "Have you been keeping our little miss pretty happy"? Jeff said as he walked over to the car to get in. "Well we only been out a couple of times but she still crazy about that Joshua". Allen said as he rolled his eyes. "Say pop all long do I got keep up this Mr. Perfect crap, I mean I've trailed her from day one, even sat in church just to make my appearance look good and now I gotta keep spitting out sweet sonnets just to keep her dangle on the hook, I tell you I'm pretty nauseated by it and to be honest I like her sister better than her". Allen said as he rolled his eyes and started the car up. "Allen you got a lot to learn, didn't I teach you one thing; if you dangle the bait out long enough you'll catch a fish, if she sounds anything like you said being young and naïve she'll lead us right to Josh, you know son you're my favorite, I only wish your mother was around but you can't bring her back from the dead son. If I was only there that night instead of seating in jail, I could've saved her, I told her time and time stop working that bar". Jeff said as he took a revolver out of the glove compartment. "Pop, she was in the right place at the wrong time; it's those men that are going to pay". Allen said as he clutched the steering wheel as he pulled off. "Don't worry son, I got my payback list and as soon as I take care of that Josh for having me to go to jail, we'll take care of the rest". Jeff said as he made sure that the bullets were in the gun.

### FACING THE TRUTH

### As Josh leaned back in the cab his mind started to race back that night in the woods, he just knew his mother and sister were dead, how could it be true; did they survive the gun shots and if she was okay why didn't his mother come for him, he just couldn't wrap his head around it; he knew he had to see that detective to get the truth but first he needed some support, he needed his friend Dan to help him in case he lost his cool. The cab driver took all but thirty minutes to get to the office that normally would take Josh twenty minutes but he gave the cab driver a tip any way. Josh rushed in the building and into his office to see his best pal waiting in the lobby flirting with the receptionist. "Good morning Janette could you please hold all calls and clients until further notice, if anyone insist just give them over to Todd, Dan I need you in my office asap". Josh said as he whisk passed the both of them. Dan flirted for a mere minute more to get the new receptionist phone number before going into Josh office. "So what's going on my friend, where is the fire". Dan said as he sat in the leather chair. "Dan my buddy I have not been honest with you all the way and I don't think I can keep this up, I gotta tell the truth even to Rissa". Josh said as he sat in his leather chair and rested his Italian shoes on his desk and rested his head against the chair". Dan was truly a best bud, they have know each other ever since he moved in with his adopted parents, they have gone to grade school and even college, plenty of parties, double dates and both have been there for each other from the beginning. Josh has always been up front with Dan about everything excluding his adoptive parents and his past but these things he has hid from everyone until now, Josh knew he could no longer hold back the truth about his past and if he had to tell Dan then he knew he would have to tell Rissa. "The truth about what, your not a Russian spy or something". Dan said chuckling loudly. "Get serious for a minute Dan". Josh said as he got up and paced the floor of his office. "Well spill it dude, what's the deal". Dan said as he picked up a business magazine. "Well first I am adopted and second you don't know how I became adopted". Josh said still pacing. "Well I always figured by you looking different from your parents were adopted." Dan said more interested as he put down the magazine. "Well I come from a foster home but the reason I came in a foster home is because my parents...well least my mom and sister was killed and my dad was put in jail I assume for their murder. Dan stood up in amazement. "What happen, I don't understand guy what are you talking about". Dan said. Josh sat back down behind his desk and folded his hands and lifted up his head in unbelief. "I had a terrible childhood when I was very young, before I moved in with my adoptive parents of course. My mother was a wonderful woman she treated me and my sister so well, she was the ultimate mother, Mrs. Clever of beaver; heck Mrs. clever couldn't compete. I would remember times when my sister and I would come home from school and she would bake us cookies and let us eat them before dinner, she would allow us to play an hour before our homework was done, yes indeed she was wonderful". Josh said daydreaming. "She sounds like every kid dream parent". Dan said smiling. "Well I don't think she would have been that way but she knew she wanted us to have a nice time and enjoy ourselves as a family before my dad would get home from work, she knew most times he would come in and find something to argue about, she also knew once he was home that the true family time would be destroyed by his constant fighting, drinking and destroying the house with his over grown fits. Yep it was a living hell for me and my younger sister, I learned how to tell time before other students because I knew at certain times of the day when my dad would come home I would get beat for no reason, my mom would get verbally and physically abused, my sister was so nervous that she would go to the bathroom right in her bed, the only thing that kept her sane was the security blanket with all the ducks on it, yes I still remember her blanket, she carried it around every where, she even hid it so well from our dad that he gave up on throwing it out. My dad was a monster, I hated him so much, he hurt my mom so many times, me and sister would have night mares about him coming to get us in our dreams. Sometimes before my dad would come home my mom would take us in her room and we would all sit on the bed and just pray to God that he would do something special for each of us, it was our way of escaping. Our dad wouldn't allow us to go to church so we would sneak the bible out of the back yard that my mom had hidden in her flower garden and she would read to us the different stories on how God would come and save the day for his people and after that of course we all would pray for something special, my mom, gee my mother would say the most beautiful prays sometimes, she would always ask God to protect me and Rebecca, she would ask God to let us become so successful that we would forget our pain, of course Rebecca would pray for toys and dolls and I, I would pray in my heart for a new daddy but one day all of those prays stop. "Oh wow, buddy I can't even imagine what you went through, wow that is terrible. Dan said as tried to imagine the hurt his friend was going through. "So how did you become adopted, did your dad divorce your mom"? Dan said sitting straight up in his chair waiting on the good news. "No Dan my dad shot my mother and sister, what happen was my mother finally decided she wanted to leave my dad so she waited until my dad was sleep soundly and we all left quietly to walk to the nearest bus station to take a greyhound to my aunts house in Michigan the only problem was we never made it, my dad found us started to shoot at us and the next thing I know my mother, sister and I got separated. I went one way and my mother who was holding my sister at the time went another way, it was the scariest day of my life thus far, my dad ran in the direction of where my sister and mother were and two shots rang out, after that I didn't hear anything from my mother, not a cry a whimper, no noise what so ever. Before my dad got to me the police was alerted and stopped him just in time but I ran away from him and the police, I didn't want to take a chance and end back up with that monster again, especially by myself." Josh said as he made a pot of coffee. "Gee Josh, I can't even imagine, the nightmares you must have had but Josh you should have told me, we're buds I would have never criticized you". Dan said leaning forward in his chair waiting on Josh to give an answer. "I did want anyone to know and I have done well up until this point especially from the help of my adoptive parents and as much as I loved Rissa I couldn't tell her either. You see the reason that Rissa and I broke up is because of my past". Josh said as he sipped his coffee. Dan got up pacing the floor trying to pull together the pieces that still didn't make since to him. "I am not following you". Dan said confused. "You see Dan up until that point in the forest preserve, I believed in God, I just knew that God would rescue us from my horrible father but instead what happen, I was separated from my mother and sister, ran away from and stole, slept under bridges and ate out of garbage cans for over a month before being caught and placed in a foster home, finally I moved in with my aunt who later passed away shortly after moving in with her and then sent back to a foster home again ending up with my adoptive parents, I went through a lot for a young kid and I decided that God didn't exist and he didn't rescue us but sent us hurling through a living hell, everything I prayed for didn't happen only the opposite, so I shut down and stop believing and that is why Rissa broke off the engagement". Josh said as he finished the last of his coffee. Dan let out a long whistle and went over to the office window to ponder about the incredible story that Josh just told. "you know Josh, I haven't gone to church in years, my lifestyle of going on nice trips, dating beautiful women and drinking and smoking cigars probably have something to do with that but you know I do believe in God and I have had some major problems in my life, like losing my brother Darren in that car accident ten years ago, you remember that one don't you; if it wasn't for family and God I don't think I could have made it". Josh couldn't believe what he was hearing from his best pal Dan, God had taken his brother away and he still believed in him. "How can you even believe in God after that bro"? Josh said pouring another cup of coffee. Dan didn't speak for a full two minutes, it seemed that he was remembering something important. "Josh, it took some time for me to trust God again after Darren died but after the support from family and friends and remembering all the other things that God has done for me and my family I started to believe, I don't know why God took Darren I just don't know but God is perfect and he doesn't make mistakes because he knows everything that goes on in the earth, I learned that from my grandma and it stuck with me even until now but the important thing for me was to open up about it not shut down". Josh stood up and closed his eyes while he drank his coffee for the second time and took a deep breath after his third sip. "I wish I could be as strong as you Dan but I am not, I don't have the strength". Josh sat down and clasped his hands together and held them over his head. "Dan I just found out my mother and sister are alive". "Wow, are you kidding me, how in the world did you find that out". Dan said shocked. "a detective came by my place and laid this information on me as I was on my way to work, he left his card with me in case I needed more information, Dan I don't know what to do, I don't know what is going on it's like I'm in an upside down maze". "Gee bro, I am real sorry that all this broke out this way but man bro look at this way now you know that your mom and sister are alive and now you can start to pick up the pieces of your life and get back with Rissa". Josh turned in confusion. "How do you figure that one Dan". Dan gave a slight smile and said "well now you got to believe in God, he gave you your family back". Josh was getting upset because Dan was confusing him even the more. "Dan my man, your going to have to make some sense, what are you talking about". "First of all God protected you mother and sister all of this time, here you are thinking that your mother and sister were dead and they are alive and healthy, second of all I recall you saying that you prayed that God would give you a new dad, well look he did just that, you lived with awesome parents, third I recall your mother asking God to protect you and your little sister and today both of you are alive and well; granted it may not happen in the way you wanted but everything worked itself out and seems like it is coming together". Dan said smiling. Josh overwhelmed at the whole dilemma that he didn't even recognized that out of all that he had gone through that something good did come out of this, he now know that his mother and sister are still alive and that he have a chance to see them again. "As much as I want to stay confused, mad and bitter about this whole situation, I really can't Dan and now that you have made me realized that things in a funny way did come full circle again and I know now that my family is alive, maybe I can start to believe again". Josh grabbed Dan by the shoulders and then clapped his hands together so loud it startled Dan. "Dan do you know what this mean". Josh said excitedly. Dan shrugged his shoulders while standing in amazement. "Dan this mean that I have a chance to get Rissa back, if I can now start to believe that all of this time my mother praying to God really was affective then why can't I open myself up to other possibilities". "Josh I am so glad that you are coming out of your funk, I am glad to have my buddy back". Dan said as he shook Josh hand. "Dan I need a favor from you, I need you to take me to the police station so I can talk to the detective who stopped by this morning". Josh said as he gathered some files and folders and headed for the office door. "Josh my man, no problem were best buds, just lead the way".

### Another Great Date

### I found myself opening up again to someone I had not even notice all since I have been in this town but then again Josh kept my attention that I couldn't pay attention to anything else. I don't know what it is about Allen that is making me giggle inside, I didn't even think that I would find anyone that was as charming and wonderful as Josh but here I am getting ready for another date with Allen. Of course I am still getting use to him but I really liking him so far, he seems to know exactly what I want, what I like and he is so patient with me; maybe that is it, maybe the fact that he is patient and understanding about my breakup with Josh, makes him some what irresistible. Maybe I have made a mistake and maybe I didn't see Allen before because I was blinded by the wrong guy; now is the time to shed myself of the past and look forward one step at a time. "Clarrisa, telephone!" Crissy said as she yelled upstairs. "Who is it; I am getting dress right now for my date". Rissa didn't want anything spoiling her evening out, she had her cell phone turned off to concentrate on her big date with Allen, Rissa wanted to look her best and so far it has been two week into their dating and each one is better than the first, so total concentration on what to wear was important for tonight because he told her their were going to the new Asian restaurant in town. "It's Josh". Crissy said yelling upstairs while muffling the phone to keep Josh from hearing. "Crissy! Seriously I don't want to talk to Josh! Especially now!" Rissa said as she was deciding on which dress to wear. "He sounds excited like, Clarrisa". Crissy yelled as she tighten her grip on the phone receiver". "So! Tell him I busy". Clarrisa said as she stopped the bubble bath water. "Fine"! Crissy said yelling upstairs. "Geez, all of a sudden she don't want to be bother, I tell you that girl has two personalities". Crissy said under her breath. "Josh, I am sorry but she is kind of busy, can she call you back later, ok thanks". Crissy said politely. Crissy ran upstairs to find out what in the world has gotten into Clarrisa and one time or another she couldn't get Josh out of her mind and the next thing you know she is avoiding his calls. "Okay girlie what gives! When did you get a sudden get over feeling for Josh"? Crissy said as she plopped on the bed. "Well, I have been dating and talking to Allen on the phone for the past two weeks and truthfully I really am starting to like him, he is so thoughtful, compassionate, we talk for hours and he has even gotten into volunteering at the food bank at the church for the homeless; I got to say that I am slowly but surely falling for this guy". Clarrisa said as she dropped her robe and stepped into the garden tub full of bubbles. Crissy walked into the bathroom were Clarrisa was and sat in front of the mirror trying on Clarrisa perfume. "I am kind of stunned at the transformation of you getting over Josh; I thought you would take at least a full three months of whining over Josh". Crissy said as she continued to smell the variety of perfumes on Clarissa vanity counter. Clarrisa giggled at her sister off the wall joke but she knew she was really falling for this Allen guy and she knew that it would take a new guy to get over an old guy so let Crissy Joke all she wants, Clarrisa didn't care she knew she had something new and special now in her life. "Crissy, I am moving forward, it has been close to a month since Josh and I have broken up and nearly two weeks with Allen, don't get me wrong Chris, I still have strong feelings for Josh but the fact that those feelings are masked by Allen who has made me forget all my hurt means a lot". Clarrisa said as she submerged her body in the scented bubbles. "Just slow down some, you know how you get super zealous over a new relationship; you're like a new bird out the nest". Crissy said as she lean against the sink. "I do not". Clarrisa said throwing bubbles in the direction in the way of Crissy. "Please, Rissa you are the queen of mushy romance novels and love sonnets, you just become jello in the brain when it comes to relationships". Crissy said now rambling in her nail polish. "Are you not the one who introduced me to him in the first place"? Rissa said as a matter of fact. "Truthfully he came to me and asked about you himself and I just helped him out with your phone number, it was up to him to call you or not". Crissy said. "Well, I am glad that he called and I am glad you gave him my number but you always did have a problem in sticking your nose in my business". Clarrisa said as she started bathing her self with a sponge. "It's my job to be nosey to my little sister and don't you forget it". Crissy said as she started polishing her nails with the hot pink nail polish she picked out. "Well as long as you know when to stop snooping". Clarrisa said. "So are you going to call Josh back and find out why he sounded so excited"? Crissy said blow drying her nails. "I dunno, I mean I am curious but again I just want to concentrate on Allen, it's not like Josh got a revelation on God and now his ways as changed". Clarrisa said snickering. "So where are you and Allen going tonight"? Crissy said. "His taking me to that new restaurant by the pier, I heard it has the best Asian food ever". Clarrisa said. "Well don't forget to text me and let me know how the date is going". Crissy said standing up to walk out the bathroom. "No problem miss nosey". Clarrisa said laughing.

### It Time for the Truth

### Josh and Dan headed into the police station and the two were more nervous than two boys in a principle office. "I've tried calling Rissa cell phone at least five times and she doesn't answer but I finally got a hold of her sister who claims she was busy". Josh said as they waited in the seating area of the police station. "Well give her time, she'll come around". Dan said as he gave Josh a swift pat on the back. "Yeah, here comes detective Ingram". Both Josh and Dan stood up to greet the detective. "Detective Ingram, this is my good pal Dan, I brought him along for support in case I need it". Josh said as he patted the back of Dan. "Well hopefully you won't Mr. Stevens." Detective Ingram said as he shook the hand of Dan and waved them over to an unused office. "You gentlemen want some coffee or water". Detective Ingram said as he poured himself a cup. "No, no I think we both had enough coffee for the day". Josh said as he and Dan sat side by side in the wooden chairs. "So Detective what can you tell me about my family, what is going on at this point". Josh said as he leaned forward against the desk with his hands folded. " I'll try not to make this story to long for but I need to take you to the beginning, your mother and sister were shot by your father but they survived, for weeks your mother was in critical condition and your sister was unconscious but after a lot time past, physical therapy, psychotherapy things got better for them and by the time the two were well enough to manage on their own, it was time for your father to stand trial and because your family did live the charges he received were a little over forty years but only served twenty-eight years, well until now." Detective Ingram said as he sipped on his coffee. "So his dad has been in jail for twenty-eight years". Dan said as he made a loud whistle. "It wasn't long enough!" Josh said angrily. "Well, after the trial your mother and sister were put in the police witness protection program to protect them, your dad deemed himself that he would get out again and try to kill them, we had no choice but to create a whole new identity for the two of them and that meant no contact with you, your mother was very stern on making sure you didn't know where they were, even after the courts found out your where about in the foster care system. "Well at least they are alive and safe, if only I could see them, is there any way arrangements can be made to see my family". Josh said frantically. "Josh that's not all. We found out during the trial that your dad was living a double life, while he was married to your mother he also was seeing someone else in the same town, they had a son and we recently found out that the son as been keeping up with your where about". "How is that possible, detective; I had my last name changed when I was adopted". Josh said confused. "We honestly don't know, maybe it has been inside help through the courts, foster centers, or even social security number but so far I am leading toward foster centers." "You don't think he knows were my mother and sister are, do you". Josh said as he nervously shook his legs. "That we know he doesn't know, you see we got an inside tip from a singing bird in the jail that is looking for an early release that your dad and his son have cooked up some plan to get back at you and the men who killed his mistress". "Geez, this story is getting weirder by the seconds, how did his mistress get killed". Dan said as he saw Josh roll his eyes as to suggest he didn't care. "Ahhh she worked at a bar and got caught in a scuffle but the point is we want to let you know what is going on, so you can be aware and watchful, we also want to put a couple of squads in front of your building for a few weeks just to be on the safe side, oh yeah I want to show you a picture of his son so you know what to look out for". The detective took a large manila folder out of the draw and slid it across the desk to Josh. Josh opens the folder frantically and looked at Dan and the detective nervously before looking at the picture. "What the! Yeah I know this guy; this is the guy that I saw Rissa with at the café". Josh said standing up quickly. "Are you sure about that! take another look Josh". Detective Ingram said stunned. "Please! I know the guy that is trying to move in on my girl! this scumbag is dating Rissa, I can't believe this! Am I in the twilight Zone, this is crazy Dan". "Calm down Josh, calm down! I know this guy too; he works at the bakery over on Claremont Street". "Let's go show this guy who his dealing with!" Josh said as he hurried for the door. "Josh, Josh wait before you go barging into a bunch of trouble, we want to do this the right way". Detective Ingram said as he closed the door of the office. "Detective this guy might be using Clarrisa to get to me, I got to stop him". "As soon as you get a badge and a squad car, look I know you a bit anxious but we don't want you taking the law in your own hands kid, let us handle these clowns; in the mean time I want you to keep yourself out of the way and watchful". "I can't believe what I am hearing, you got a half brother out there that is possible trying to harm Rissa to get to you, this is insane!" Dan said. "Get on the phone to your girlfriend and warn her about her new beau!" Detective Ingram said.

### The Best Date that Never Happened

### Rissa nestled in the leather seat of Allen car and closed her eyes as she listened to the smooth jazz music on the cd, "I hope you like jazz music, I usually listen to jazz when I want to unwind for the day". Allen said as he lower the sound of the cd. Truthfully Rissa was an oldies rock type of girl but tonight she wanted to just enjoy being with Allen, even if she had to endure some jazz. "Clarrisa, I was thinking about cooking dinner for you tonight instead of being in a crowded restaurant, maybe lobster tails, with grilled shrimp and scallops, a crisp salad and mint jubilee soup; how does that sound to you". Allen said as a looked over and smile to Rissa. Clarissa really wanted to go to the new restaurant but she really wanted to spend more time with Allen and besides she really did enjoy seafood. "Alright that sounds nice, should we go to the store and pick up some items". Clarissa said. "Nay, I love to cook and so I have everything at my place set up to go". Allen said as he continued to smile at Clarissa. "Okay your place it is". Clarissa said as she nestled back again in the seat.

### The race to rescue

### Crissy was nestled down for the night with her favorite ice cream and her favorite movie, she enjoyed some alone time, especially since she has done more work around the shop than Clarissa, she enjoyed the peace and quiet but tonight Josh has been calling back to back and she refused to answer his calls but enough is enough. The phone rang again and she looked at the caller I.D. and picked up after the fifth call of the night. "Hello". Crissy said annoyed. "Crissy, this is Josh I need to talk to Clarissa". Josh said frantically. "Well Clarissa is not here Josh and I am not sure what time she is coming back". Crissy knew that Clarissa would have a fit if she gave Josh any information on her date with Allen. "Listen this is very important, did she go out tonight with that new guy". "What new guy". Crissy said annoyed. "Geez, Crissy this is serious, look I have reason to believe that Clarissa is in danger with this guy". "Ah, come on Josh, this has to stop, Clarissa is moving on with her life, why can't you let it go". "Because I love her that is why, I don't want to see her hurt". Crissy was getting really annoyed with Josh; he was cutting into her movie time. "Look when I see Clarissa I will let her know that you called". Crissy hung up on Josh, she knew he was crazy about her but he is really taking this to a new level. "Shoot!" Josh said as he threw the phone up on the dashboard. "Dude, let's just go over to Clarrisa house and talk some sense into her knuckleheaded sister, I got your back my man". Dan said as he tighten his seat belt. "Onward!" Josh said as he pointed forwarded.

### The Best Date That Never Happened

### Clarrisa looked around Allen apartment to notice all the collectible baseball trophies in the glass casing. She notices that his place was neat and tidy but not as extravagant as Josh. She didn't see any pets or a speck of dust. She thought to herself a man that keeps a nice clean place is a man worth dating. "Clarissa let me take your jacket". Allen said as he took off her jacket, Allen let out a long whistle, as to suggest that she really look nice. "Gee Clarissa you sure look stunning". Allen said as he kissed her hand and walked her over to the couch. Clarissa took over two hours to just pick out the perfect dress, a nicely fitted shimmering black dress with spaghetti straps; Clarissa high heels mimicked her dress material as well. "Thanks, can I help you in the kitchen". "Heaven sakes no, I want to spoil you, so all I want you to do is just seat there so I can admire you". Allen said as he prepared the pots for the lobsters. "Here let me pour you some wine, "so tell me Clarissa; why did you and your fiancé decide to call it quits, I mean a beautiful looking woman such as yourself, with class, elegance and very intelligent, that guy was a fool for giving up a woman like you but his loss is definitely my gain". Allen said as he raised his glass of wine in a salute. "Well Allen I left him and he was not happy about it". Clarissa said as she slowly sipped her wine. "I bet he wasn't". Allen said as he started to prepare the lobster and shrimps. "Josh and I, well we were so close but we were never close spiritually, he just couldn't get pass in believing in God, he didn't want to go to church, when he had problems he didn't want to pray about it. I didn't want to marry a man who only down fall could ruin our marriage". Clarissa said as she sat down the glass of wine and held it tight. "Clarissa I am sorry but you know things do happen for a reason, why I was saying just to day how great it was that we are now dating and if it wasn't for your break up I wouldn't have a chance now". Clarissa slightly smile because of the onset of being dizzy, maybe she should have eaten a small snack before she left. "Clarissa are you all right". Allen said as he came over to her. "Yes I'm fine just a little woozy; I didn't have much of a breakfast and didn't really eat anything later in the day". Clarissa said as she adjusted herself but before she was able to sit properly, she blacked out and fell in the arms of Allen. "Clarissa, Clarissa! well well I see pops little potion actually work quicker than I thought, now missy lets get you all tide up". Allen said as he carried her into the bathroom.

### The Race to Rescue

### Crissy started in on her second bowl of ice cream and lounge in her favorite recliner of her dads while watching her favorite movie and even though she was enjoying her personal time, she noticed that Clarissa didn't call or text her in over two hours but she did say that she would keep her cell phone off for the sake of having a great dinner with Allen and if Clarissa was no longer interested in her date she would have texted a S.O.S to come and rescue her. Crissy remembered many times when she had to pretend to be the overly emotional sister that needed help right away to pull her away from her dates but fortunately she hasn't had to play that role in quite some time. The doorbell rang right before she got a chance to put the chocolate rocky road ice cream in her mouth. Crissy looked out the window to see Josh and some other guy standing on the porch. "Josh, Clarissa is not here", Crissy said as she leaned against the door and rolling her eyes. "Crissy, I need to speak to you". Josh said very frantically. "Josh I am kinda busy right now". Crissy said as she yelled out while she walked over toward her ice cream. "She's not going to let us in; we're never going to know where she is". Josh said upset. "The heck she won't". Dan said as he moved in front of Josh and pounded on the door. "Hey drama queen, your sister is out with a pervert!" Dan yelled out loud, so loud the man walking his dog doubled looked at Dan and Josh. Josh whispered to the man he was joking but deep down Josh had no idea what type of guy she was with. Suddenly Crissy opened the door. "What's going on, what you are talking about". Crissy said shocked. Josh and Dan came in and stood in front of Crissy with there eyes fastened on her. "Crissy, that guy that she has been dating is looking to possibly harm her". "What! What in the world are you talking about"? Crissy said as she closed the front door. "In a nutshell, the guy that your sister is with is the brother of Josh who happens to have the same father who just got of jail and now is ready to possibly take revenge". Dan said as he went over to flop in the lounger chair. "Josh, are you saying my sister is in trouble or danger". Crissy said feeling lost. "Duhhhhh". Dan said as he looked at Crissy. "Dan come on, stop it, let me tell you everything so this can make sense". Josh said as he walked Crissy over to the couch. Josh told Crissy the whole story from when he was a little boy being shot at by his father to Detective Ingram delivering the news of his family still being alive and the reason for his not believing in God. "Josh you're an Idiot! how can you let my sister go through this break up with you, all because you don't want your feelings hurt!". Crissy said astonished at the story. "Say missy he didn't have to tell you at all, come on Josh let's get out of here, you see it is useless". Dan said standing up. "No, no Dan wait, she is right, I was selfish, I didn't want to get hurt anymore so I kept her from this just so I could feel no more pain". Josh said as he held his head down and sat back down on the couch. "Look you can feel sorry for yourself later, we need to find Clarissa, now she said she was going to that new restaurant near the pier, let me get the number to call and see if the manager there can locate them". Crissy used her cell phone to look up the number of the restaurant and immediately called. "Oh, wait! I don't know Allen last name, I don't know what reservation name he would use". Crissy said throwing the phone on the couch. "Then we have to go there now". Josh said as he headed for the door. "Come on guys we got to warn her about him".

### Race to the Rescue

### Josh, Crissy and Dan rushed into the lobby of the restaurant and spoke with the Hostess. Josh really didn't care if he had to make a scene; all he wanted was to make sure that Rissa was safe. "Ma'am I would like to look around your restaurant to see if I can find my fiancé. Josh said as he rushed up to the podium. "Do you have a reservation?" The young hostess said. "No we don't have a reservation but she is my sister and we have an emergency going on". Crissy said annoyed. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but if you do not have a reservation I cannot let you go in". "Listen, this is important can I speak to the head person". Dan said puffy out his chest. Dan knew that being six feet and five inch tall held some advantage. "One moment sir, I will get some one for you". The hostess said as she briefly walked away. "I don't know guys maybe we should look in the parking area to see if his car is out there, I do remember him driving a Ford". Crissy said looking out the window. "Well first let's check out the restaurant and then we can check the parking area". Josh said. Just as the three finish talking the hostess returned with an older man with a stiff frown. "Good evening I am Theodore and I am the owner, Mary my hostess stated that you wanted to look around the restaurant". "Yes, it's important that we find my sister". Crissy said. "Ma'am I am terrible sorry for any inconvience but due to safety policy we cannot allow you to walk around unless you are the police and have a search warrant, this is a place of business". "Geez, this is ridicules! Let's go guys maybe we can check things out in the parking area". Dan said. Josh, Crissy and Dan ran out into the parking area to look for Allen car, all three split up but came up empty in finding the car. "Well, guys that's it, his car is not out here, well at least not the color you said Crissy". Josh stated as he blew out his breath. "Hey, you said he was your half brother right! So why don't we call and ask to speak to Mr. Stephens maybe you two have the same last name". Crissy said as she snapped her fingers. "Josh that is a good one, here use my phone". Dan said as he handed Josh his phone. Josh called the restaurant but the hostess stated that there was never a reservation for the name Stephens. "Okay now what". Dan said. "I dunno, wait a minute maybe that detective knows where". Josh said as he quickly walked over to Dan car. "Wait, wait! Josh remember that detective said he wanted us to stay out of this and let them handle it, if he finds out we're looking for Clarissa, then he's gonna keep a watch on us". "Then you tell me, what are we gonna do now". Josh said throwing his hands in the air out of aggravation. "Listen, usually Clarissa calls me or text me right now it has only been a little bit over three hours; let's just try to not to panic we might be making to much out of this". Crissy said. "I don't know, Cris this just seem a bit fishy to me". Josh said. "Look, why don't we go back to your place and wait for Clarissa and we'll go from there". Josh said. "I can use the company now, your welcome to come along to Dan". Crissy said. Solemnly. "I wouldn't have it any other way". Dan said trying to comfort Crissy.

### On to the Next Plan

### Allen paced the floor of his apartment for nearly an hour before his father came walking through the door. "Is everything good to go son". Jeff said looking throughout the apartment. "Everything is good to go pops; I got her tied up in the bathroom". Allen said as he clapped his hands together. "The bathroom! Why the bathroom". Jeff said as he opened the closet". "I dunno, I just thought it would be better you know and besides it's the only lock on the door". Allen said shrugging his shoulder. "Well get her outta there and put her in the bedroom, I gotta pee something awful, I had too many beers". Allen open the bathroom door to find that Clarissa still unconscious and on the floor. "Pop, she still outta of it, you sure you measured those knock out drops right". Allen said picking her up. "Of course I did, she'll probably wake up in a couple of hours". Jeff said as he rushed in the bathroom. "Say pops how are we suppose to get that Josh guy over here, he don't even know who I am". Allen said as he closed the bedroom door and flopped down on the couch to turn on the television. "That's where is little girlfriend comes in at, see what we're gonna do is get her to call him see, then when he finds out we got her, his gonna to do whatever it takes to get her back, so we're gonna make him sign over beneficiary papers, bank papers, property papers and other thing worth while getting". Jeff said as he yelled out the bathroom. "Sounds great". Allen said as he flipped through the channels. "Yes it does, it sounds even better knowing that he's gonna sign all those papers over to you, you see boy your gonna take ownership of all his possession including beneficiary on his insurance policy". "What if he don't have one". Allen said scratching his head. "Then he just got to go out and get one". "I don't understand pop, why you don't just become the one to own all of his stuff". "Don't you see boy, if he signs everything over to his new found brother, then I won't have anything to do with it, so even if I go to jail by the time I get out, I'll have a nice little cushion for myself, besides I was never able to do anything for you kid and now this way I can make sure your set and you don't have to pretend to be the owner of that bakeshop". "I like being the manager there; I really do like it there". Allen said as he turned his attention to his dad. "Being a manager and owning a store is two different things, I want you to have something, things I never had myself". Just then they heard muffled screams. "You want me to give her some more of that knock out potion". Allen said as he rushed to the door. "No, she has to call her boyfriend first". Allen and Jeff stood in the open doorway and looked into Clarissa scared eyes. "Listen little lady, if you don't stop that screaming I'm gonna have to sock you in your jaw and I don't want to mess up that pretty little face of yours, all I want you to do is make a simple phone call". Jeff said as Allen handed him the phone. "Now let me introduce myself miss, so sorry I'm not being polite, I'm Allen's father and your fiancé' is my son too as well as Allen brother of course but you see I don't to much care for the first son, it's the second son I care about, which is why your gonna help me get everything I need out of that Joshua bank account and then some, your also gonna bring him back here after he finishes all that because all four of us are gonna take a little trip back to his little home state". Jeff said as he sat on side of the bed. "Now if I take this tape from off of your mouth you promise not to scream cause if you do I'm gonna sock you dead in your jaw, I've been known to go to jail for domestic battery here and there so this ain't no different". Jeff said as he reached for the tape. "There we go, now don't say a word only what we tell you and you and your little boyfriend, won't get hurt". Jeff said looking at Allen and grinning. Clarissa couldn't believe what was going on, she thought she was in a horrible dream, she was dizzy and her head was spinning out of control. Clarissa was scared out of her wits but she knew she had to remain calm and she knew she had to get out of there, she was not about to go to another place with these horrible men. "Allen how could you do this, why would you do this to me". Clarissa said sobbing. "Listen love, it's not you I want, truthfully it was never you; now your sister Crissy". Allen said as he let out a long whistle. "Enough of the small talk now what's that boyfriend of yours number". Jeff said listening to the dial tone.

### Race to the Rescue

### Josh, Dan and Crissy stayed awake as long as they could but they eventually fell asleep in the living room waiting on Clarissa to come home. "Crissy, Crissy wake up it's one in the morning, look at your cell phone and see if Clarissa called or texted. Crissy reached over and discovered that her cell phone was turned off because the battery was low. "Oh, great I have to charge my phone but at least what ever calls or text I missed will pop up after being charged". Josh knew that every minute count and for Crissy to not pay attention to her cell phone was not the smartest thing but he knew he couldn't waste valuable time in getting angry with Crissy. "Did she call you"? Dan said as he stretched. "No she didn't". Josh said as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. "Look don't panic dude, this is Saturday night and we might just be jumping the gun a bit". Dan said as he nestled back down on the couch. "You know what maybe Dan is right, I mean Clarissa has gotten home later than one in the morning or did you forget Josh". Crissy said. "Yeah that was with me not some new guy!" Josh said panicky. "Listen dude, let's just go home and". Dan said as he picked up his jacket and headed for the door. Just then Josh phones ring. "It's Rissa! Yeah baby what's going on are you okay". Josh said as he threw down is jacket and sat in the recliner. Josh was so relieved to see Rissa number that he didn't even recognize the shaking in her voice. "Josh, Josh please listen...I, I need you to listen, I'm in trouble and ". Before Clarissa could finish her sentence Jeff snatched the phone. "Well, well, if it isn't my long lost son, long time no hear from Joshua". Jeff said laughing. Josh couldn't believe his ears, the voice of his father in his ear was as if someone took a speared and jammed it all the way through to the other ear, Josh felt sick to his stomach to not only hear the voice of his father but to know that the man that he despised his whole life could possibly hurt Rissa the only woman he ever loved. "You piece of scum bag, you better not hurt Rissa or I swear I will kill you!" Josh said as he stood up slowly and both Dan and Crissy clutched each other in shock. "Now look at that, a chip off the old block uh! If I recall I am the one that tried to kill you; you little snot nose bothersome kid. You were a pain in my side then and you're a pain in my side now, now don't you give me any back talk boy you just listen, I want you to meet your brother at your bank, then I want you to take out an insurance policy and add your long lost brother to it, after that I want you to add your brother name on to any property that you have and if you don't cooperate your little girlfriend is gonna disappear off the face of this earth and you, the police and anyone else won't be able to find her". "Just don't hurt her". Josh said solemnly. "As long as you do as I tell you, she won't get hurt but I'm gonna hold on to her until you complete everything I say and remember no cops! The first cop car I see flashing its light, the girl gets it in the head". Jeff said as Allen handed him a pen and paper. "I just want her back safe; tell me what you want first". Josh said as he ran to the kitchen for scratch paper and pen. Jeff got the address of Josh's bank and gave the address to Allen to meet him there early Monday and after that Josh was to go to his insurance company the next day and add Allen on his insurance policy as the sole beneficiary. It seem that all of the things he wanted Josh to do would take at least three or four days to complete, it is after all important paper work but knowing that he won't let Rissa go until everything is complete, he just had to do it; if something was to happen to Rissa he would never forgive himself, if only he would have accepted God she wouldn't have broken up with him and started dating another guy, she wouldn't be involved in his mess of a life. "Dear God, what are we gonna do, we can't just let him keep my sister". Crissy said as she started crying. Dan consoled Crissy and walked her over to the couch. "Dan this is crazy, we got to go to the police, we can't trust this guy, this is the same guy who tried to kill his own kids! This guy is nuts! Dan said as he got up from the couch and picked up the house phone. "Wait! I gotta an idea; look Rissa has a smartphone right". Josh said holding Dan arm from calling the police. "Yeah so". Dan said. "He never said we couldn't go to the police, he said he don't want to see a cop car, so why don't we contact detective Ingram have them pick up the signal of Rissa smartphone to pinpoint her location and then the cops can take it from there". Josh said frantically. "Josh my man that isn't a plan, if that crazy dad of yours even thinks he sees a cop he's gonna kill Clarissa, we gotta think of something else". Dan said chewing his nails. "We need to pray". Crissy said quietly. Josh and Dan turned to Crissy and said "What", together. "This is the time you have to believe in God Josh, when need Clarissa back home". Crissy said holding out her hands to Josh and Dan. "I am willing to believe God again, if it means bringing Rissa to me". So Crissy, Josh and Dan held hands and prayed for a miracle.

### A Perfect Plan Gone Wrong

### Josh was sweating bullets on this warm day, he knew that everything had to go right, Rissa life was literally in his hands. Josh couldn't believe that the woman that he loved was being held for ransom and there was nothing he could do about it but to go along with Jeff plans. He knew that if anything happened to rissa he could never forgive himself for the rest of his life; after all she would not have gone out with this guy if he would have only been open minded and tried to believe as she did but now it's to late and Rissa life is hanging in the balance but if he follow the plan nobody would get hurt. Josh sat in the parking lot of the bank waiting on a cold hearted jerk, a guy who claims to be his long lost brother a guy who took Rissa and kept her against her will. Josh hope that he would have the strength not to beat this guy to a pulp before the plan got off the ground. He decided to pray for himself after so long, after the night his father tried to kill him and now his father has come back to finish the job, Josh could not understand how a man could hate his own child even until adulthood, the tears that Josh built up for years would not come out for extreme anger of seeing some man hovered over his true love. Josh could only cry for Rissa, his heart ached so terribly for her and the fear she must be feeling he just couldn't imagine. "Dear God, I know I have been mad at you for all this time but please don't let my stubborn and anger cost Rissa life, please God let this plan work and bring me back to her". Just as Josh finish his pray in the car he heard a tap on the window and turned quickly to stare directly in the face of a man. "Hey big bro, time to handle business; come on and lets get started". Allen said as he waited for Josh to open the door. Josh gave Allen the description of Dan car but Josh didn't even see what car Allen showed up in but at this point it doesn't matter. "Hey you're that guy that works at the coffee shop". Josh said stunned. "No big bro, I'm your little brother and your going to do as I tell you". Allen said as he pointed a silver magnum gun at him. "I'm no brother to you, I'm nothing to you, you and your old man you're just a couple of scum bags". Josh said clenching his fist. "Aren't we touchy, look here dude, you cost me time with my dad, every night when he left me and my mom just to go back to you, his other family made me sick. I had just as much right to have him in my life but you; you didn't appreciate him, you rebelled, you fought but me I craved my dad, I never gave him any back talk, I did ever thing he told me, he didn't have to beat me and my ma like he did your family, he knew how to treat a lady and a kid but you and your family cost me time with my pa and now your going to payback every dime that it cost me, now start walking and don't make any sudden moves". Josh wanted to knock his lights out. This whole situation is getting stranger by the moment. Not only is this man that served me coffee every weekend but his my half brother who is holding the woman that he started dating whom I love dearly, who has every intention on ruining my life and possibly killing me, could this get any stranger. "Come on lets go would you, I gotta a girl waiting on me back at my place". Allen said laughing. Josh turned around and started to swing before he realized that Allen pressed his gun in the middle of his back. "You worthless piece of trash, your momma should be proud". Josh said sarcastically. "I should shoot you right here, my momma's dead but maybe I should play house with that pretty little number I got back at my place". Allen said snickering. Josh knew he had to cool it, he couldn't be stupid, he had to think of Rissa. "Just calm down, calm down; let just go and get your money". Josh said relaxing his shoulder. "Now that sounds like a plan, let's go big bro". Allen said as he pressed the gun in his back and kept on Josh heels.

### Josh to the Rescue

### Clarissa knew that she had to remain calm; she knew that she wanted to stay alive but she also knew she needed to get out of there. She thought about her parents and her sister. She remembered how her dad told her to stay strong in all situations and her mom would say fight your way out of trouble and God would be with you. Clarissa had to think of something she didn't want to end up a statistic, a number on a clipboard of missing people; she had to think of something quick. "Excuse me; I have to go to the bathroom". Clarissa said as she held up her tied up hands. "Oh no, your not coming out of those, you just lay yourself right there this will all be over soon". Jeff said as he eased up out of the chair which was by the door. Clarissa saw that he wasn't to bright but he did hold the cards because of the weapon he had. "Look, I gotta go, really bad". Clarissa said holding out her tied wrist. Jeff let out a tiresome sigh. "Fine but don't you try nothing stupid or you'll be meeting your maker sooner than expected". Jeff said removing the rope around her wrist. Clarissa needed to scope out the place to see if she can find a way to escape, she needed to see if there were any weapons, she had to think of something she wanted to see her sister again; she wanted to see Josh again. It's all her fault that his going through this, if only she wasn't stubborn, maybe she could have worked something out or maybe she could have tried to work with him about his non beliefs but that doesn't matter now; the only thing that matters is getting out and staying safe, she remembered she kept a trial size bottle of pepper spray in her purse, she never used it in the course of a year she just hope that it works but how was she going to get her purse which she remembered was in the living room. "Look I have to get my purse". Clarissa said mustering up courage. "For what!" Jeff said frowning up. "I have to use my tampons if you don't mind". "Great! Now your gonna bleed all over the place before we can even shoot you down". Jeff said as he rolled his eyes. "Not if you let me get my purse and handle my business, I'm starting to leak". Clarissa said as she stared at him with bravery. "Fine go get your purse but this gun is gonna be on you so don't try no funny stuff". Clarissa was so relieved inside, she wanted to smile but she had to keep her composer and her sad look. "It will be a minute". Clarissa said as she closed the bathroom door. "Don't you worry I'll be right outside this door with this here gun". Jeff said as he sat in the chair by the bathroom door. Clarrisa knew she had to hurry, she searched through her purse and found the pepper spray she made sure that it worked by quietly spraying the can, as she looked around she realized there was no window in the bathroom, so the only way out was to attack. She sat on the toilet to think about how she would distract him before spraying him with the pepper spray and then she was ready. Clarissa spent a totally of seven minutes in the bath stalling for time to mustard up the courage to attack. "Hurry up in there, it don't take all day". Jeff said as he pounded on the door. "One more minute I'm just finishing up". Clarissa said yelling. Clarissa remembered seeing the dead bolt locked, she knew she would have to spray him good in order to get that small extra time in unlocking the door. It was now or never, she had to go through with it she had to take the chance. Clarissa flushed the toilet and turned on the water to pretend she was washing her hands. She opened the door to come out and headed forward; as Jeff started to lean down to tie her hands again. Clarissa took the pepper spray which she hid by cupping her right hand and sprayed forcefully upward in Jeff face. It seemed like she empty the whole can out in his eyes and nose. "You stinking witch!" Jeff said as he screamed out and held his eyes. Clarissa didn't lose ground she bolted for the front door and was relief to discover she was able to unlock the dead bolt and run out the door. She didn't look back but did hear Jeff stumbling around and turning over things; Clarissa didn't have on any shoes but ran quickly into the nearest store.

### Josh to the Rescue

### Josh headed for the teller at the bank, he happen to see a teller that just opened his window. "Hello, how may I help you today"? The teller said. Josh was barely able to crack a smile. "I um, I wanted to withdraw the money in my bank account". The teller looked Josh and Allen over with suspension. "May I see some I.D sir"? The teller said as he watched Allen. "Sure no problem". Josh said as slid his I.D to the teller. "Can you excuse me for one minute sir"? The teller said as he walked away with Josh I.D. "Okay why did he do that". Allen said nervously. "It's just procedure; he just wants to be careful that's all". Josh said as he loosened his tie. After a few minutes more the teller returned with a smile and handed back Josh I.D. "Mr. Stevens for security purposes we would advise you to come into one of our offices that we may be able to process your money in confidence". The teller said still smiling. "Why not here". Allen said nervously. "Well because it is such a large amount we feel that it would be more comfortable to count the money with a money changer and have Mr. Stevens in our presence to make sure his account is being properly taken care of, will you be coming with him sir". The teller said as he looked Allen up and down. "Well, yeah he is my brother after all". Allen said smiling. "Half brother!" Josh said rolling his eyes. "Please following me gentlemen". The teller said as he smiled and beckoned them both toward a back office. Allen tugged on Josh shirt from the back and whispered in Josh ear. "Let see how smart mouth you are once I put a bullet up your nose little bro". Josh stopped and clenched his fist ready to sock Allen right in the eye but the clerk turned and beckoned them both in a room. "Now if you gentlemen would have a seat in here and I will bring in my supervisor who will bring in the money dispenser to help count the money and then you can sign some release papers stating that you willingly closed your account Mr. Stephens". The clerk smiled and closed the door behind him. "Let me tell you something you piece of trash, you won't get away with this, you or your no good father, people like you never prosper". Josh said staring intensely at Allen. "Oh I think we will prosper and if I were you I take it nice and slow, don't forget we got your little irritating girlfriend". Allen said snickering. "I just want to reach over and kill the worthless life out of you". Josh said clenching his fist once more. "There there now Joshua, no need of getting bent out of shape over some broad, she ain't as pretty as that sister of hers Crissy but boy she can kiss". Allen said with a smirk on his face. Just as Josh was about to get out of his seat to hit Allen in the eye there was a knock on the door. Josh immediately sat down and in walks in a taller heavy set guy wearing a very bright red sweater vest and carrying a large duffle bag. "Gentlemen I am sorry it took me so long but it is not easy gathering nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars so quickly. The supervisor said as he dropped the heavy duffle bag on the desk. Allen whistled and stared blankly at the duffle bag. The supervisor unzipped the bag and pulled out the money dispenser that was inside the duffle bag and place it on the table and one by one he took out blocks of hundred dollar bills wrapped in plastic. Allen was so transfixed on the blocks of money that was on the table that he did not see the supervisor pull out a silver nickel plated gun coming up out of the bag and pointed right at him. The supervisor gave a short whistle to get Allen attention while Josh looked on. "What the..." Allen said as he started to get up. "I wouldn't do that if I were you; now raise your hands high and lay face down on the ground before I push your ugly face in the floor". The supervisor said as he kept the gun pointed on Allen. By this time Josh was smiling and standing up backing up by the door to get out of the cops way. Allen didn't have a chance quick enough to pull out his gun on what was obvious now an undercover cop. So he got on the floor cussing underneath his breath. The cop proceeded to pat down Allen and remove the only gun he had on him and put on the plastic twist handcuffs. "Are you okay; do you want to take a swing at him while were in this room because when we get out there it's all over"? The undercover cop said half smiling. Josh contemplated shortly to ram his foot right up Allen nose but he remembered Rissa and just wanted to concentrate on getting her back. "No, no just get that piece disposable trash out of my sight". Josh said staring directly in Allen eyes. "Glad to do it". The undercover cop said smiling. "This ain't over, you haven't seen the last of me; Joshua". Allen said as he spitted on the floor. "Let's go jerk". The undercover cop said as he jerked Allen out the room. Detective Ingram entered into the room immediately after Allen was handcuffed and taken out. "Well kid, you did good, I actually thought you might have killed him before we got a chance to put him in cuffs". Detective Ingram said as he pulled out a chair to sit down. "Another minute and I might have". Josh said as he paced back and forth. "It took gust for you to do this; it could have gone another way". "Detective Ingram what now, we still need to get Rissa out that lunatic way". Josh said as he stopped pacing and pulled his hands out of his pocket. Detective Ingram looked intensely up at Josh and gave a smile and got up and patted Josh on his back. Josh was confused by the smile on the detective face. "What gives detective, what is with the smile hey"? Josh said stepping backward to see detective Ingram full face reaction. "Josh, while we were here getting ready to take down this clown, Clarissa had escaped and ran to the nearest store and the manager called the police and now she is at the police station. "What". Josh said shockingly. "Apparently she tricked the father into letting her use the bathroom and when she came out of the bathroom she sprayed him straight in the face with pepper spray and took off running out of Allen apartment into of all places a bible book store but she is safe and at the police station and your dad is in police custody; so I guess both you are pretty brave people, come on I'll take you to her". Detective Ingram said as he patted Josh on his back and gestured Josh to follow him.

### The Healing Begins

### Clarissa and Crissy hugged for about ten minutes and gave each other big wet kisses on the cheek. "Clarissa, sister my dear sister I thought I lost my best friend, I just blame myself, I truly blame myself; if I would have lost you because of me interfering I couldn't live with myself, I just couldn't". Crissy said crying uncontrollable. "Crissy, Crissy stop; just stop, look I'm okay, not a hair out of place, I'm here; I'm home don't cry any more its okay now". Clarissa said consoling Crissy. Clarissa held Crissy hand and walked her over to the coffee table in the back office of the police station. "Look your shivering; I'll make you some coffee". Clarissa said holding her shaking hand. Crissy started to smile a little bit and gave a small chuckle. "Here I am an uncontrollable mess and you were just kidnapped and held against your will and now your offering me coffee, I forgot how strong you can be". Crissy said squeezing Clarissa hand. "All I could think of was mom, dad and you; I dreamed dad saying fight Clarissa fight the enemy, don't give up princess and when I awoke I knew I had to be strong, I knew dad was talking to me". Clarissa said tearing up. Crissy and Clarissa hugged each other again and started crying on each other shoulder. "Hey can I get in on the reunion". Josh said with his arms open wide. Clarissa looked up from Crissy shoulder and saw Josh smiling at her. "Josh". She said still clinging to Crissy. Crissy and Clarissa opened their arms to embrace Josh; Josh showered Clarissa with kisses on her cheek and gracefully kissed Crissy. "Rissa, I thought I had lost you". Josh said as he started to cry. Crissy let go of their embrace to allow them time to reunite and she headed to the detective desk were Dan was seated and admiring everything. Rissa, I blame myself, if only I had just been open to you and gave things a chance about you and your faith but I had to learn the hard way but that hard way made me believe again Rissa, it may me call out to God and Rissa; he answered, he gave me back you". Josh said as he hugged Clarissa tightly. Clarissa couldn't believe what she was hearing, she waited so long for him to believe and now it actually happened. "Josh, I am so incredible ashamed, if it wasn't for me being so closed minded and just slowing down and waiting for you to believe; we wouldn't be in this mess. "Would you listen to you guys, all of you are blaming each other and not seeing the big picture". Dan said standing up and speaking loudly across the room. "What are you saying"? Crissy said following him toward Clarissa and Josh. "Well look, first of all Josh you found out that your mother and sister are still alive". "What! Your sister I thought you were an only child." Clarissa said shocked. "It's a long story but I will explain when things have calm down some". Josh said holding Clarissa hand. "Next, your faith in God is now back which mean you and Clarissa can now start on a new life together again!" and lastly you can finally put an end to your past haunting you Josh; so you see everything has worked out!". Dan said as he embraced all three of them. "I guess I didn't see it that way, I'm just glad no one is hurt". Josh said hugging Clarissa and high fiving Dan. "So is the wedding back on". Crissy said. "I just want Rissa to know that if we can get through this horrible thing with prayer and faith, then nothing can stop us from believing God". Josh said as he kissed Rissa. Clarissa was lost for words, here she was back in the arms of the man she truly loved; the man she always wanted and today after all that has happened, the risk and danger just proved to her that Josh was willing to risk it all, including his life. "I hate to break up this beautiful union, especially after the ordeal you guys just went through but we really need to get a statement from you guys before sending you home". Detective Ingram said as he motioned for the group to have a seat in the office. "Detective Ingram I just want to thank you again for sticking your neck out for me, I had a lot of cops in my life going through the motions of my young childhood, trying to help but really only making things worse for me but you; your different you went above what I believe public servant would do; Thanks detective". Josh said as he shook detective Ingram hand firmly. "Kid, it's nothing short of a miracle this situation came out the way it did, you owe me nothing but the big guy upstairs well; that's a different story. Let's go Josh and get this day over with; what do you say". Detective Ingram said as he patted Josh on his back and smiled.

### The Healing Begins

### Three months afterwards the healing has begun and now I can move forward in my life. I knew I wanted Rissa back in my life but I didn't want to get her back this way but now that she is back our wedding plans can move forward and life can really begin but first I need to air the last little bit of my problems out to the doc. I never knew waiting for a shrink would make me feel so much better inside. "Mr. Stephens you can go in now". The receptionist said. "Well, hello Joshua... I mean Josh I guess this will be our last session". Dr. Nichols said as he gestured Josh to a chair. "Yes sir, I can honestly say I won't miss you at all". Josh said laughing. "Would you like some coffee or tea"? Dr. Nichols said as he pours himself a cup of coffee". "No thanks I just want to get the show on the road". Dr Nichols sat down across from Josh and sipped his coffee; he looked Josh directly in his eyes and smiled. "Josh do you know why you are here, I mean do you understand why detective Ingram had for you to come back and see me". Josh really didn't have time for word association games; his life was getting back on track and he didn't need anymore drama. "Well I am assuming that he wanted me to have some closure so that I can move forward". Josh said as he started to get restless. "Did you even wonder how the detective knew you were seeing me; I mean did it even cross your mind". Doctor Nichols said staring intently to Josh. "What is this about just spit it out". Josh said in an irritated voice. "Well, I know you told me that you had lost your mom and your sister and that you never got a chance to go the funeral or got a chance to find out what happened to them after that dreadful night; you basically stop getting information but then again you were a child so everything else was pretty much swept under the rug and here you are today, successful, a good head on your shoulder, educated and now about to be a married man". "How did you know I was getting married, hey look what's going on". Josh said standing up quickly. "Detective Ingram has given me a call and informed me of your great progress and how you had to battle some major challenges with your natural father". "What the heck is going on; doc you're freaking me out; if you don't start talking your going to have to two black eyes". Doctor Nichols got up and went over to his desk and pulled out some papers and handed them to Josh. "What's this"? Josh said moving closer to Dr. Nichols. "Just read them; please". Dr. Nichols said backing up. Josh looked down at the papers and saw that there were birth certificates as he continued to look he saw the name of who the birth certificates were. "This is your birth certificate; so". Josh said looking up. "Keep looking". Dr. Nichols said. Josh continued to look and saw that the mother was the same name as his mother Linda, Josh continues to look further and saw that the father was Patrick Ingram. Slowly Josh raised his head and stared at Dr. Nichols. "Are you saying what I think your saying"? Josh said frowning. "Josh, I am your brother". Dr. Nichols said stepping backwards. "I don't believe this; am I in the twilight zone". Josh said grabbing his head. "When our mother went into hiding after her first husband was thrown in jail, she remarried a year later but the second husband was worse than the first and she got the courage to leave him but not before having me and shortly after that I say about two years later she remarried a Patrick Ingram A.K.A my Sept dad and so your sister Rebecca, our mother, me and my dad Patrick Ingram have all been looking for you and this is the point where I say; please don't be made at our mother". Suddenly there was a knock on the door and the door open and it was detective Ingram. "Can I come in or is it safe". The detective said poking his head in. "Not safe!" Josh said slamming down the birth certificate on the desk. "Look Josh I know this is a bit too much but there is no right time to tell you all of this and well I just don't know where to begin other wise". Dr. Nichols said easing forward. "So your name is Cannon and you're saying my mother is your mother and this detective is your father and my sister is your sister". Josh said squeezing his temples. "In a nutshell; yea and by the way can you call me Can or Cannon which ever you prefer". Dr. Nichols said. "No! Dr. Nichols, I won't call you Can or Cannon". This was supposed to be a great ending to a horrible event but instead it seems like the stream of events keeps getting stranger and stranger. "Look let me come in and explain but you got to promise me you won't hit me kid". Detective Ingram said as he slid inside the office. "So are you really a detective or are you something else". Josh said staring at detective Ingram up and down. "No, no Josh I am a detective and the husband of a beautiful woman your mother; look Josh this is not easy and it does seem like it keeps getting weirder by the day but there is no other way to let you know who we are and what we are to you; I love your mother so much that I did what I had to do to make her happy and that meant finding you and hopefully reuniting you guys back together". Josh sat down in the chair laying his head back and closing his eyes, Josh could not find the words to speak it was nearly five minutes that went pass before Dr. Nicholas said anything to Josh. "Josh my man, please say something; anything would be nice at this time". Dr. Nicholas said sitting on the edge of the desk staring at Detective Ingram. "I'm very over whelmed right now and I don't know what to believe at this point, do you really expect me to just be understanding and say oh really you're my brother and you're my stepdad; sorry guys it doesn't work that way Josh said as he got up to pace the floor. Detective Ingram came over and sat on the other end of the desk. "Josh, let me explain from the very beginning, that night that you got separated from your mother; Jeff your dad did shoot your mother and sister and he would have shot you too but of course the police stop that. Well it took a while before your mother and sister recovered and honestly we really did not think that they were going to make it; they both were shot in their backs; Rebecca your sister was near death because of the bullet that entered her back temporarily paralyzing her and the bullet coming out inches away from her heart, yes Rebecca was a miracle; not only did she over come near death of a bullet inches away from her heart but she over came being paralyzed, the doctors says it was nothing but a miracle that she is even breathing and walking. Well your mother was more better off she recovered quicker and headed off to court some time after her recovery reliving her nightmare all over again. She testified against Jeff put him in jail, went into protective custody in a new city but not before trying to get you back, at that time no one had any idea on where you were but eventually once you were found she learned that you were already with a family; the family service arranged for her and your adoptive parents to meet but once she saw how in love they were with you and how much time passed she just couldn't tear you away from them. So she decided that the only way that they could keep you is making sure that your adoptive parents keep her in the loop on every and anything in your growing up, your mother have all types of pictures of you from the time of you tenth birthday all the way up to your master and doctrine, there was not anything that your real mother missed out on; she knew every thing that went on in your life, even your marriage proposal to Clarissa". Detective Ingram said as he sat behind Dr. Nichols desk. "So during all this time of you growing up she meets my dad and the two decide to get married and have me, I can't say I had a happy childhood; it was pure torture seeing my mom get abused, to hear your own father call your mother every horrible name in the book, to watch him hit her and choke her with all his might; a woman so weak and gentle, Josh I tell you I couldn't take it any more, so when I was about eight I decided to run away from my dad, I knew I loved my mother and I adored my older sister but I couldn't bare to watch night after night him abusing her. Well of course I didn't get no further than the three blocks before the neighbors decided to call my dad and boy did I get a bad beating that night, well the next day my mother decided to move into a shelter for abused women, she told me that she couldn't bare losing another son, that day I realized I had a older brother. Dr. Nichols said as he sat comfortably in his chair. "This is where I came in at, so your mother, Rebecca and Cannon were in the shelter and I happened to stop by to check on a victim that was suppose to go to court and there in the lounge area I saw the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on and I said to myself who could possibly hit somebody this gorgeous. Well of course your not suppose to congregate with the women at the shelter so I had to wait over a year before I could find out who she was and by me being the detective that I am, I did my research and allowed her to meet me on her own terms and she did; seven months later she married me, oh don't think that your mom wanted to marry me she was very apprehensive but I wine, dined and treated her like the world was hers and no one else. I didn't want her past to ruin her future and I knew I could treat her so much better and here we are today still married, no abuse, no hatred just love, tenderness and kindness". Detective Ingram said as he hugged the shoulder of Dr. Nichols. "I never really knew my dad because I did every thing I could to stay away from him, now my dad lives in New York some where but I don't care Patrick has been like a father to me and has a matter of fact he adopted me and Rebecca on my eleventh birthday, so there we are a real family now, a family that has love, respect and peace and as I got older I wanted to know who my older brother was and so my mother told me all about you and continued to show us pictures of you. After I graduated I moved here and decided to get my clinical license of psychology; opened up a small office and started a new life here, I never knew how to approach you or how you would react but has things happened your friend Dan goes to the same gym I do and well he was telling me about his friend and I didn't know it was you until you walked into my office that day. Of course I called mom on the phone and she said that God is answering her prays in bringing us back to together as a family and well the rest is as you see today". Cannon said as he smiled at Detective Ingram. Detective Ingram got up and clapped his hands so loud it startled Josh. "Don't you see Josh, every thing has come together to get us to this point, God knew that Clarissa would be in troubled, he knew that your were seeking help in solving your past; don't you understand Josh; can't you see how every thing worked it self out". Josh got up to stretch and pace the floor. "I am trying but I just am not getting it". Josh said waving his hands in the air as to say I surrender. "Look big brother, mom never stopped praying for you, she never stopped believing we would be together as a family and even though the events that happen were not pleasant, God made sure that we would be together, look God sent mom a husband who is a detective, to help in bringing Clarissa back and to give back mom her trust, God bless me to go to school and become a psychologist and move here because he knew we were going to meet and Dan your friend just happen to go to the same gym I did told me all about you and I didn't even know it was you he was talking about". Dr. Nichols said standing grabbing the shoulder of Josh to reassure him that it was ok not to understand. "I get it, I do I really get. You know I didn't want to believe in God anymore, I didn't want hear about God, because I thought that pray didn't work but clearly it does, it may take a while and some times a long while but God will answer prayer, so yes I do I really do understand now and I do believe God and I am willing to trust again". Josh said as he broke down in tears and hugged Cannon. Detective Ingram smiled and squeezed in and the three bonded from that moment on.

### A New Life and Fresh Start

### I feel more nervous to meet Josh real mother than his adoptive mother, I just want everything to go well and I want her to really like me. "Clarissa are you still nervous". Crissy said as she looked at Clarissa twirling her hair around her index finger. "You do know me well sis, I just want Josh mother to really like me and I really want to like her too". Clarissa said as she examined her sundress in the mirror. "Why wouldn't she like you, your smart, beautiful, kind and you have good morals; you're the perfect daughter in law". Crissy said as she fluffed out the stuff animal she was holding. "You know Crissy, this horrible experience that we had to endure brought about a super miracle, it's just incredible. All year long I have prayed that God would make Josh believe in him and to open up more but for a whole year I got no response but little that I knew that God was working behind the scenes, true it was not what I had expected but everything came together in the most bizarre way but now we know why Josh never like to be called Joshua and why he didn't believe in God and why he would have bad dreams, God even gave him closure by revealing that his mother and sister are still alive". Clarissa said as she fell back against the pillows. "Not only that but now Josh and you are finally meeting his family together, the wedding is back on and Dan and I are now dating". Crissy said as a matter of fact. "I kind of figured something was going on with you two, you both have very strong personalities, your both funny, his charming and you're the female version of charming". Clarissa said as she headed downstairs to wait for Josh. "Gee, thanks sis, anyway remember just relax and everything will go well". Clarissa looked at her sister and remembered why she was not only her sister but her best friend. "Thanks sis". Clarissa said hugging Crissy.

### A Fresh Start and a New Beginning

### Before Josh went to ring the doorbell of Clarissa, he sat in his car staring blankly at the steering wheel wondering how he would react to seeing his real mother after all of these years, he wondered if he would be joyful or full of hurt, angry and bitter after all it was her decision for me to stay with my adoptive parents but then she only wanted the best for me and then there was Rebecca, boy what a annoying little sister but she is all grown up now, how would she react to me; after all she had to play big sister to a new brother, would she be accepting of me. Josh had so many questions, so many emotions and so little time to embrace them all, one thing that Josh knew was that he had a whole new family that he is ready to love and another family that he wants to forget; a new family that he wants to begin with Rissa. Josh made up his mind to go forward and not to look back, to take life by the horns and hold on tight and most of all he had a beautiful sidekick to do it with. Josh got out the car to get Rissa with an optimistic view about the whole new life that he was ready to embrace. Clarissa saw Josh walking up to the house from the hallway window and ran down stairs to open the door and greet him. "Yeah handsome, come on in I am almost ready I just have to figure out which shoes would be the best to wear with my new sundress; I do want to make a good impression with your mom". Clarissa said hugging Josh. Josh pulled down Clarissa arms from around his neck and held her hands in his. "Sweetheart, listen I know this has been a whirlwind of a ride for you but I just want to let you know that I am so grateful that you stuck by my side and I know that God sent you to me; I know because I have never felt this way before". Josh said as he kissed Clarissa hands. Clarissa smiled and cupped Josh face in here hands. "There is no other place I whether be than with you". "So now it's time for us to meet the family are you ready to take this ride with me". Josh said as he pulled Clarissa closer to him. "Ready and willing, remember we are in this together, for better or for worse". Clarissa said as she kissed Josh softly.

### A New Beginning a New Future

### Josh would not have ever imagined that he would get to this point in his life, it all felt like a dream. Some nights he would just sit on the side of the bed and stay up late on purpose just to make sure the dream would stay a reality but after everything started falling into place, he knew he could start to rest easy. Now he was a believer in miracles, he knew that there was a destiny to things in life, things that could never have an explanation to them. Sitting next to the woman he loved, the woman that he thought he would never get another chance with; now today his life is full of possibilities. "Well, we are here; are you ready to go in and begin a new life". Clarissa said as she looked at her face in the mirror and applying lip gloss. To be honest Josh didn't have the guts to move but he knew he had to, he had to face fear in the face; truthfully why should he be fearful it was only his mother and sister but again he haven't seen the two in ages. All the what if's went through Josh head and the fear came flooding back. Clarissa squeezed Josh hand as a gesture of confidence. Clarissa always knew what to do to bring me back on track. "This is ready as I am going to get". Clarrisa and Josh stood at the door before knocking just breathing heavily hoping they both were doing the right thing. After all it doesn't have to go well; Josh has heard of so many stories of families being destroyed because of reunions such as this. "Josh, Josh my boy why are you and Clarissa standing out here, come in come in. I saw you through the window has I was going to make another cup of coffee for your mother". His stepfather detective Ingram said. "Clarissa you are a beautiful angel, you sure are blessed to have a beautiful woman like this in your life; come on you two let's go in the family room were everyone is waiting". Josh squeezed Clarissa hand so tight Clarissa let out a small yelp. "Everyone, everyone look at who is here". The whole room suddenly went from noisy to silent, so unbelievably silent that it was scary. Josh searched across the room to pick out is mother but there was so many women in the room he couldn't tell. "Josh let me introduce you to some family you don't know, first this is your aunt Judith we call her pickles, I'll tell you later why we call her pickles, this is your aunt Lynn, your aunt Josie, your aunt Morgan, Your aunt Lovely and yes that is her real name; don't ask me I don't know why? And your aunt Carol; I know it seems like a lot of aunts and well it is but they have all been dying to see their nephew. Now we have a few brave men that decided to stick it out with the cackling hens and that is your uncle Bruce, your uncle Benji and yes that is his real name my mother like the movie so there you go and your uncle Christopher. I know it is a lot to take in right now but we all wanted to be here to welcome you and Clarissa to the family. Josh started to look sad, he just knew that his mother and sister would be in the group but they were not, I guess he figured that it would be too much. "I know your wondering where your mother and sister are, that introduction requires some personal bonding, there in the study area with Cannon. Clarissa looked up at Josh with a sigh of relief on her face; she knew the agony that was surging through him all of this time. As they entered the study Josh emotions went from nervous to down right uncontrollable but Clarissa reminded him by squeezing his hand that she was right there with him. "Josh this is Rebecca and your mother". His stepfather gave Josh a confident pat on his back and pushed him toward his mother. His mother was a beautiful woman, it was as if she didn't age a bit, her hair was longer than he remembered and bit darker brown in color but none the less it was still that beautiful brown color hair that he use to play in when he was a boy, her skin was as if she never went out in the sun so flawless and smooth and when he looked into his mother eyes instead of seeing the hopeless brown eyes full of hurt and pain that he saw when he was a boy this time her eyes were bright brown and full of life. "Oh Joshua, my baby Joshua, my baby boy; I don't want to let go I don't want to stop holding you Joshua". Linda said as she squeezed Joshua with all of her might. His mother smelled as beautiful as she looked, she was timeless a pure angel of warmth. Josh didn't want to let go; he held on so long to her that the tears started to flow faster down his cheek and onto his mother hair. Cannon, Rebecca, Patrick and Clarissa started to tear up and cry. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. The emotions were high; it could be felt by those eavesdropping outside the door. "My baby Joshua, darling how I missed you so much; words will never be able to explain what a mother feels not being able to see her child but it is as if I never left you". Josh thought he would be angry or hurt about his mother absence in his life but all he wanted to do was to hold on to her and stay in her arms. "Mom, I thought I never say that word again". Josh said as he step back to see his mother face". It was as if everything was perfect it was if he never left his mother side. The two hugged for another ten minute and cried together. "Are you going to ignore your little sister as usual"? Rebecca said as she steps to him and embraced them both to form a circle. "Josh moved backward to get a good look at the little sister that annoyed him and he was amazed at how gorgeous she was, she looked like she could be a model. " Rebecca, I am amazed, your as beautiful as mother". Josh hugged Rebecca and both cried uncontrollably. Clarissa looked at Josh and his reunion with his mother and sister and she saw a man that she never seen so vulnerable, so helpless and so emotional, it must have been torture for him day after day not knowing the fate of his family but now all of that is behind him and he can move forward. After everyone hugged for what seem liked two hours, Josh introduce his mother and family to Clarissa. "Oh Josh she is so beautiful". Linda said as she grabbed Clarissa hand and smiled and pulled her over to hug her. Clarissa never felt so much love in one family and she knew she enjoyed being there. "So big brother, how does it feel to be a part of a big family"? Cannon said as he walked over and gave Josh a pat on the back. "It feels really great, it is something I have wanted my entire life". "Well just wait until aunt Pickles and the rest of the chickadees start hen pecking you". His stepfather said as he squeezed his wife Linda. Everyone laughed and started once again hugging and conversing with one another as if nothing has every happened. "Let me steal you away while everyone is in the room. His mother said whispering. Linda quietly walked Josh out of the room and into what look like a sitting room. "Josh my love, I waited so long to see you, I have cried so many night for so many years, hoping and praying each night to see you again, hoping that you would forgive me for not coming back to get you, I know I should have, I should have just fought the Stephens but when I saw you secretly one day playing in the front yard with them and I saw how happy you were, I just couldn't pull you away. You went through so much as a young boy, I remembered you would always try to be the protector of the house but the bad memories I knew you held on to sometimes would get the best of you". Linda squeezed Josh hand and cried uncontrollable. "Mom, I love you and I never stop loving you, you are my mother and how could a son stop loving his mother, I forgive you mom, you only wanted the best for me, you only wanted to see me happy. Once Patrick told me that you had every picture of birthdays and graduation, including every thing I went through even getting engage, I knew then that you still loved me". "Oh Joshua, my sweet Joshua, I love you so much". Linda held on to Joshua and cried once again and this time Rebecca found them both in the sitting room and looked on as the two of them shared their private moment. "Rebecca, dear come; I know you were very young when you two split apart but I hope you two can still share much love between you both. "Mom, I may have been young but I still remember Joshua as if he never left my side at the playground". Rebecca said sitting Josh down and giggling. "Josh do you remember the time that Arnold Horowitz pushed me down in the sandbox and you ran over and punched him in the nose". Josh burst out laughing because he couldn't believe that both of them still remember when they were kids and how he would protect his sister. "Wow, I do and boy was he mad; we both had to stay after class and mom ran up to the school to keep..." Josh stop short in completing the sentence. "It's okay Josh, it is important to get over the past, I'll finish it for you, mom had to come up to the school and secretly speak to the teacher so that dad wouldn't find out". Josh felt relieve and knew that he could talk openly about the past and the hurt. Soon Clarissa was by his side and the day went on with stories of joy, hurt and future events. The night ended by conversation of a new life with Rissa and a wedding to come.

### One Year Later and a Bright Future

### Josh and Clarissa married a year later and became parents of twin boys shortly after and Josh relationship with his mother and sister were stronger than ever and his new found family has been very supportive and loving. Josh and Clarissa decided to buy the mini mansion on pebblerock for themselves to raise their twin's boys. Crissy who never thought she meet someone with the same fire personality has her ended up engaged to Dan Josh's best friend and will be married the coming spring. Josh father Jeff and his step brother Allen are serving time for kidnapping and attempted robbery with parole in twenty years.

### Copyrighted 2012

### The people in this story are fictional characters

### And have not been depicted by in other individuals.

