 
Deaf Children's Wisdom

by Donna West

Copyright 2012 Donna West

Smashwords Edition

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For Janie, wherever you are

# Table of Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Perfect-what?

Difficult-what?

Future-what?

Afterword

Bibliography

About the author

# Foreword

BETWEEN 2003 and 2005, I spent an inordinate amount of time hanging around with a small group of deaf children. They, perhaps predictably, were totally unfazed by my presence, by my ignorance, by my often 'stupid' questions (I am hearing, after all) and by my turning up at their houses in the evenings, or at the weekends, armed with my videocamera, tripod and tapes. We started off with me asking general ("boring!") questions: about school, about BSL, about friends and family. But over the months we went deeper, exploring issues of ethics, 'voice' and translation, and the future of the deaf education and indeed the Deaf Community. By the end of the project, I was completely overwhelmed, humbled, awestruck and troubled. I suspect they weren't. They carried on with their young lives and forgot about me and the project. And rightly so. They have now grown up. They've gone through school, college and university. They're working, they're travelling, they're in relationships.

I am writing this book towards the end of 2012. I am not entirely sure why it has taken so long, but suffice to say, the intervening years have not been plain sailing. I have mixed feelings about this book. Its (self)publication rubs up against some deep, unresolved emotions, largely to do with the fact that I am neither deaf nor a parent of a deaf child, and that I gave up being a Teacher of Deaf Children many years ago. It is driven, however, by the fact that I made a promise to each child that I would write down what they told me and tell it to other people. It is driven by the fact that, alongside the work with these children, I had the utter privilege of learning from a very special group of deaf educators, who (regrettably) for reasons of confidentiality, cannot be named here.

These are the educators to whom the children refer in these pages. These are the educators who, often as Teaching Assistants and Deaf Instructors, do their best to create and sustain bilingual environments in the classroom and school, often with few training opportunities and even fewer resources. These are the educators who also foster deaf children, who are trained counsellors, who run youth community programmes at their local Deaf Club, who volunteer in their local Deaf Community through the school holidays ("24/7/365" as one of them put it). My debt to them is immeasurable and my thanks long-overdue.

The children with whom I worked for two years, I believe, enjoyed telling me about their lives. Many times they relished the opportunity to poke fun at hearing people, to express irrational, impossible hopes, to bemoan what they perceived as dark clouds threatening to overshadow their worlds. Their signs left me at times shocked, shamed, indignant and bruised. Their philosophies on deaf life still stagger me, some seven years later. Their turns of phrase often jolt, bewilder and puzzle. It is difficult to know how to respond to a 10-year-old deaf child who, banging fists on the table, or on the arm of the chair, talks with no small degree of outrage about their 'language rights'. I know several hearing ten-year-olds, and their preoccupations are generally far less extremist and worldly. I try to recall my framing of interview questions, and cannot ever remember starting up a conversation about, say, the Threatened Linguistic Status of British Sign Language.

These children come from hearing-signing homes, which I would argue necessarily politicises—to a greater or lesser degree—their upbringing, whether unconsciously or not. They have also spent many hours in school and in Deaf-Community spaces exposed to a very specific deaf rhetoric; one that they internalise, chew over and experiment with. It is, at times, eyebrow-raising, sharp-intake-of-breath stuff. It is at other times profoundly moving and, philosophically, astonishingly sophisticated.

Looking back, I have vivid memories of particular interview moments: Chrissie, sitting cross-legged on her bed, explaining to me the difference between hearing and deaf people's storytelling styles; Kimberley in the sunshine in her friend's garden, relaying her fears about the future for deaf babies; Ben, laughing, eyes wide in wonderment, recalling the moment where he realised and understood that he was deaf. I could go on, but perhaps you should find out for yourself.

Ben, Chrissie, Dominic, Edwin, Hadi, Kimberley, Kumar, Michelle, Natasha, and Phoebe; this is for you. Sorry it took so long.

# Introduction

THIS book re-presents the views of bilingual, bicultural deaf children who were asked to talk about their experiences of school, friends, family, Deaf Club, sign language and their futures. Ethnographic interviews, combined with extensive periods of participant-observation were carried out in connection with a larger project that investigated what was originally termed 'Deaf Ways of Teaching', and later recognised as 'Deaf Pedagogies' (see Afterword). The children were involved in many of the decisions regarding how their signs might be recorded and re-presented. They each commented on and approved earlier drafts that now come together in this book. I have done my best to bring their individual and collective voices to that which follows.

## The Children

Deaf Children's Wisdom is therefore about, from and for ten deaf children: Ben, Chrissie, Dominic, Edwin, Hadi, Kimberley, Kumar, Michelle, Natasha, and Phoebe. They are aged between 10 and 15. They have all attended Deaf Schools (either day or residential) and had both deaf and hearing educators. Some of them have also experienced mainstream education. They all use British Sign Language (BSL) as their first language. Their parents are all hearing. Two of them have deaf siblings. Three of them are the only child in their family. All their families use sign language in the home.

## The Triptych

The stories and messages these children conveyed over two years of interviews fell quite beautifully into three parts and so structuring their contributions in this way—as a triptych—aims to reflect, rather than to over re-present, the seemingly effortless simplicity of what they taught me about their young deaf lives. However, it is on closer examination that we are able to observe the complexities behind and within each picture, and how the imagery of the three intersects to tell a series of interwoven stories. Displayed together, we are free to observe through our own eyes, to draw on our own life experiences, and to make our own subjective sense of what we see, remember, imagine and feel. The children's creation is therefore subject to multiple interpretations, as their own opinions, observations, thoughts and feelings resonate with each observer—deaf, hearing, adult, child, educator, parent, friend—in an infinite number of ways.

Taken directly from their own signs then, the three parts of the triptych are: "Perfect-what?", "Difficult-what?" and "Future-what?" The main aim is for this book to remain as far as possible in the space of the children themselves. It is often tempting to layer on interpretations and meanings from what others—adults, educators, parents, researchers—say and think, thereby lifting something from one space, and attempting to locate it within another. Once we start to weave in adult-researcher-expert perspectives, the danger is that we over-/mis-interpret the children's views by framing them too closely, say, to the work done with deaf educators as part of the wider inquiry, or by seeming to place them in direct conflict with the views of adults.

While the children's descriptions, narratives and viewpoints are compelling, insightful and perhaps unwittingly profound, my task was to frame them faithfully as children's work, while honouring and doing each of them justice. There are many startling insights that are undeniably and intrinsically linked to the work, experiences and worldviews of their deaf educators. I am therefore faced with a task to be tackled with care and sensitivity if I am to treat the knowledge and wisdom of the children with the respect and dignity it deserves.

Artworks are traditionally hung on gallery walls or displayed alongside a brief description, providing contextualisation or the curator's interpretations. In line with this, the Afterword comprises my reflections, as self-appointed curator of this work.

# I Perfect-what?

The children often use the sign <PERFECT>. It comes up a lot in conversation when they describe the things that are good, easy for them to understand, <DEAF-HIS> or enjoyable. The following sections are an attempt at re-presentation of what they see, feel and understand as <PERFECT>.

## Sign

WE should start with Sign. It runs like a thread through the lives of all of us, linking me and the research to the children, to their families, to their friends and to their education, to their community membership, to their past and to their futures. Sign is highly valued, loved and cherished by the children. It is a visible marker of their deaf being. Those deaf people with 'hot' skills are highly respected; they act as models for the children to aspire to.

Kimberley: Oh with James, his signing is so full, and so fast but with so much detail and facial expression, when he explains things to me, it's amazing. I stop watching the hearing person, just sit there watching him, enthralled. Feel like saying, "Oh sorry" to the hearing person, "I can't watch you, I'm going to watch James!" (smiles).

Chrissie: Every morning Carli teaches me. The news, in sign, it's lovely. But we have to cut it short, it always goes on too long, but the children love it! The teacher has to tell Carli, "Time to stop now!" We love sign, all of us! And it's important to let us know things.

Phoebe: We have a bond, we're both the same, deaf. It's amazing the skills he has, and we respect that, and we don't want to break that bond.

Kumar: Deaf signing is brilliant, and we're, like, the same, I'm deaf too, so I can sign like that too. The deaf way of signing, really strong how they can describe things, it's just amazing (smiles).

Michelle: I wish they had filmed us at that time. Then people could watch that, and think what fantastic deaf children! Now we've grown up, and nothing was filmed.

### Language

Beyond markers of identification, and means of communication, the children also begin to reveal deeper layers of their understanding of their language. They can see the importance not only of being able to communicate in sign, but also of learning more about the language, of becoming proficient, confident, creative and highly skilled themselves.

Edwin explained how he sees his deaf teacher as a 'model' sign language user:

George is amazing, really good, his facial expression is great, I try to sign the same as him.

It is also about learning, and becoming more knowledgeable about their sign language.

Hadi: BSL! We learn more, we learn lots of different signs, like <FEE> and <FANT>

Kimberley: He understands so many words... and spelling all the time, we have to learn, learn, learn, so much spelling, loads of spelling, phew, it's really amazing!

Michelle: All of us, deaf people, need to know about BSL in depth, because if we don't have that we can't communicate.

For Kimberley, the common understanding between herself and her deaf educators enables her to feel more confident in her own language abilities:

It's like, I can sign the same as them, I can understand what they say, they can understand what I say, then I realise, "Oh WOW I can sign!" and that makes me more confident! (laughs).

Understanding, is a common theme in the children's stories of school. Kumar explained:

Deaf signing is really fast, it's really strong BSL... I prefer deaf people's signing. It's what I know, I understand it.

With confidence in their sign-language abilities, together with the desire to know the language more fully, the natural progression is to take exams in that language, in the same way that they do for the English language. All the children have, or are working towards, qualifications in BSL, although Edwin was not yet entirely clear what the process involves:

Soon I will have an exam, in February, a BSL assessment. So I will be signing, and they film me, then watch it and send it off to the Government or someone... see what happens!

Natasha was very keen to tell me:

I passed my Stage One exam! When I was in Year Seven!!

What is striking here is the way the children see sign language as completely normal and right; an unquestioned, legitimate part of their curriculum. This would not necessarily have been the case a few years ago, and is testament to their deaf educators and to their schools who create the time to motivate children to take BSL towards national exams. Dominic acknowledges this—as one of the first cohort of children to take BSL exams in school—and is aware not only of the importance of deaf children being taught their language and taking exams in it, but also of the hard work and achievement of his teacher, and the legacy that is being passed on to him and his peers:

He teaches us BSL. But first he had to do a course, like stage one, stage two, stage three, and he passed them all. I know he's deaf, but he wanted the qualifications... and now he's teaching all that to us. He's signing to us, wow, and he can teach stage three to hearing people, and I was really impressed how he learnt all that, really hard!

### Stories

One of the key features of deaf pedagogical practice, observed in both formal and informal education settings, is story-telling. From the perspectives of the children themselves, it is clear that a story, or the telling and re-telling of events as a story, is key to their meaning-making and enjoyment of learning. Deaf story-time is one of the favourite, longed-for slots on the timetable. Phoebe and Natasha both remember when they were little:

Phoebe: I remember James signing us stories. From 3 o'clock to half past three. Ooh, I remember that! (smiles).

Natasha: When we were younger, we were all sat there, just watching, so excited! When James told us stories, we were just hooked. I think James is a fantastic story-teller.

Michelle remembers from when she was four or five years old how her class of children was entranced by story-time:

I remember, we'd all take our coats off, put our bags over in the corner and sit in a semi-circle. Go through our names, then we have a drink and something to eat, maybe biscuits or a banana, but at the end, we'd always have a story, and we'd just sit there, hooked, really quiet, just watching it all.

And Chrissie still looks forward to her morning stories/news:

Every morning, we'd have Carli, and she'd tell us a story, or about what was in the news, and it was so easy for me to watch and understand, so much better when it's a deaf person.

The children all enjoy, look forward to and can't wait for story-time with their deaf educators. Moreover, when the time is up, they don't want it to end, they don't want to go home.

Kumar: Right! We'd all be banging our fists on the desk, cos it was all so interesting and we didn't want to go home, we wanted more, it's boring at home, let's have more... but we'd have to wait until next time, it was so frustrating. But next time came, half past two, and we'd be getting ready, really looking forward to it. And when it was time to pick children, I was just wishing so hard he would pick me, I had my hand up straight away, me, not one of the others—get off! Pick me me me! That's what it was like, so exciting! (laughs).

The children revel in the sheer pleasure of watching a skilled story-teller who captures their interest. These times are also somehow imprinted on their minds.

Dominic: It's like, when he signs it goes into my head and I keep it there, easy, because it's interesting... so it's interesting and I hold it in... I can always remember what he tells us in his stories (smiles).

Countless times in interviews and conversations, the children would re-tell, at length, stories they had been told. They remember them in minute detail and astonishing depth, and take delight in showing the story-telling skills they have observed and absorbed into their own repertoire. In the acts of re-telling, they reveal their own creativity, as well as the sheer joy and fun of sign stories.

### Poetry and Creative Sign

All the children have, at some stage, been exposed to BSL poetry performance and creation. They described to me the ways that they learned about the art of sign poetry, both from their deaf educators and from watching the work of deaf poets such as Dorothy Miles.

Dominic: I remember things like the tree falling and the sun rising, yes. When George taught us about poetry, he made the children understand things like the tree falling and the roots, things like that. We watched Dot's poems... (smiles).

Phoebe: Well before, I thought, how do you sign a poem? What does it mean? But then I learnt how to plan, how to use colour for things, and I would try something but James said it looked like a story, not a poem, so I asked him, well how do you do a poem? And he would explain, and then slowly I began to understand what it was. Oh, Dot Miles's poems were wonderful, I loved watching her, she wrote so many poems. They're wonderful, and I could watch her on video and understand what poetry means.

Through creative signing workshops in schools, children discover ways to be creative in their own poems.

Natasha: I do remember Frank when he came to the school, he was very... positive... a really strong deaf person... And he taught me lots of different signs, and I hadn't realised they were there inside me until they came out.

And once the children discover that their language has poetry, they love learning how to be creative, and to work on their own skills, individually and sometimes in pairs or groups:

Edwin: Both of us love sign poetry, we've been practising and practising, it's fantastic! (laughs).

Chrissie: I can recognise the different ways to sign something in a poem, and I've been practising at home, acting, and practising poems. But not English poems, no. Some children like English poems, but not me.

However, they acknowledge that it takes a special kind of person to be able to teach BSL poetry, and to encourage and motivate them in their own work. This is something not to be taken for granted it seems.

Phoebe: Well, before, in Primary School, it was BSL poetry all the time, but now, that's all gone, my new school is very different. My old school was really deaf! And James was always pushing us, encouraging us, but now... hmmm

Chrissie: We don't really do BSL poetry any more, only English poems. I want to do more BSL poems, but we have to concentrate on English. Maybe I will try and persuade school that we should do BSL poetry again... the problem with that is you need someone who is really good at poetry, like James. Really, you need someone like him.

Without either time in the curriculum, or the right people to teach them, sign poetry and deaf drama slip off the timetable, or are given low priority.

Ben: I don't really want to do Drama with hearing children. I want to learn about deaf Drama. I mean, deaf children do Drama with hearing, but deaf people have their own special way of doing it. It's hard, feels like it's disappearing. I really loved that time (before when we had deaf Drama) and wish that could carry on, but who with? (shrugs).

The underlying message not only from what the children articulated and expressed in interviews, but also what they conveyed or revealed during my observations, is the way in which learning about sign poetry, watching highly skilled deaf poets, creating their own work, and (perhaps more importantly) performing in public are markers of their developing deaf identity, visible through achievement, creativity and ownership.

Ben: I looked inside myself, and I thought, well I know I can do this... so I thought about all these feelings I had inside me and I came up with the idea, well why not be involved and prove to myself I can do it... I felt proud of myself and being deaf. Lots of people there recognised the signing and lots could understand and they learned more about deaf Culture, what it means... The poem was, wow, it was perfect, and I felt it was mine... I thought about my poem and being able to tell my children about my achievement, like, I'm deaf and look what I achieved... also I think it was because I wanted people to look at me, I was proud, I want you all to know I can sign (smiles).

### Deaf Sign

It is clear that much of the children's inspiration comes from those deaf people with whom they have contact, who are highly skilled sign-language users. It was often difficult to articulate what it is that makes someone a 'hot' signer, and the children often struggled to find the means to explain it to me. This is surely the case when any of us are asked to put into words or signs something which has never been asked about before, or which is taken for granted, or obvious. They did their best and I was privileged to witness 'live' their reasonings and descriptions. Unfortunately, what is missing from the following quotes are many of the key signing features they employed; their use of facial expression, use of space, pace, movement, their mimicry and the change in style overall as they talked about particular deaf people whom they regard as skilled sign-language users. Facial expression is key to deaf children's engagement with deaf adults. All the children refer, in one way or another to the importance of engaging and appropriate facial expression.

Michelle: Deaf people have more facial expression!

Kumar: Oh, he's just amazing, really am-a-zing! And his facial expression, it's just so real, like looking at a photograph, really amazing, I learn so quickly, BSL, Deaf Studies, it's just so easy to understand, and George is so good, I understand... he is so skilled, you know, he's got the personality, the signing skills, the facial expression, the teaching skills...

In searching for the best way to explain this, the children often turn to the idea of how skilled deaf signers, in their descriptions, teachings or stories, look like actors on the television, aligning them with a visual way of understanding and learning about the world.

Kimberley: Well, James teaches me Deaf History, and he has all these different signs, and with his facial expression it's just like acting, giving out information through sign. Really acting, teachers need to be able to act... and sometimes I have to do that too, I mean, I can kind of do the right facial expressions, but I know James, he is so good at it, it's brilliant, just perfect, fantastic, it's like watching TV... amazing, so when he explains things in a deaf way, you know, acting, I understand, it's just not the same with hearing teachers.

And:

Deaf people's BSL is deeper, they use more facial expression, it looks like acting, and it's different from signing in English sentences and I'm looking thinking, "What's that supposed to mean?" Deaf signing is richer I think. And when they explain something, and you don't understand, they explain again, maybe with more facial expression, more acting, really good, that helps me understand... and with detail, so I'm watching thinking wow, what a good actor! Just like TV and I really like that, it's so good (laughs).

## Teaching and Learning—Deaf Educators

What makes a good deaf educator?

Natasha: Deaf signing just helps me understand, makes it clear. I understand James. And if I don't understand the teacher, I'll ask James, and he'll help me understand.

The children happily identify who is a good deaf educator, particularly if they have experience of 'good' deaf education, and then moved away or changed school, and find something missing.

Dominic: I think George is really good, sometime I wish I could just pick him up and put him in my school. If George was there, everything would be perfect.

Ben: Oh, she taught me before, but at that time, I didn't think anything of it. But now, I'm a bit older, and I realise how lucky I was to have her, such a fantastic teacher, and that's quite rare. I don't think there's anyone else like her, she can teach anything. And the communication is so easy, you just take it all in.

Phoebe: I wish we had a Deaf Instructor, so that deaf children have a role model, and can see the skills deaf people have, and they can encourage deaf children. With hearing people, it's a bit like, oh what-ev-er. I mean, some are good, but...

The children also identify particular strategies, which they associate with deaf educators, and that they believe are good strategies.

Michelle: He told us the story of Helen Keller, the deafblind woman, and then we made our own books about her, so we could keep them, and remember what we learned. So we used the Internet, found pictures and information. And he said it was to make sure we learned. And I thought that was really good, and really fascinating!

What comes across here is that there is some underlying and fundamental sense-making occurring; deaf children can see the sense in what they are doing. They respond positively and enthusiastically to the idea of being taught something, which they then research independently in more detail, in order to create their own learning resource, such as a book on Helen Keller. Michelle remembers James's reasoning for this; to "make sure you learn". She approved. It was not only good, it was fascinating.

Earlier Michelle mentioned story-time and how the children were:

always <EYES-GLUED>, quiet, watching.

While this may be attributed to story-time itself, the idea that the children are fascinated by their deaf educators, and what they teach them, and how, is incredibly powerful.

Michelle: I'm just fascinated. Watching her, and wanting more, but then it's time to stop, but we want more stories... and she just smiles and says, "I'll tell you next week!"

As well as general descriptions, or broad illustrations of the kinds of things that happen in a deaf classroom, the children enjoyed telling and (re-telling) specific memories, anecdotes or events.

Kimberley: Last year, when I was in year 9, my Teacher was telling us about year 10, you know, cos I wanted to know what it was going to be like. I was so unsure, I couldn't quite believe I was going to be doing year 10 Science in September. And I thought the exams were going to be really hard. So she explained and I thought, "Oh, OK" but then when it got to September, wow, it was really hard, and I was starting to panic. So a few weeks passed, a couple of months, and then my teacher was off sick for a week. So James covered her lesson. And he explained all this stuff to me, and I got the work finished! I wrote down all the information, I was writing and he was teaching me, and explaining things, and I was just staring at him, unbelievable! Cos I could understand, he explained it so well. So then, my teacher came back, and she was saying, "Oh I know, it's really hard", and I said nothing, but I was trying not to laugh, just sat there with my arms folded, trying to look innocent. So she asked us how to spell this word, and I put my hand up straightaway. The teacher was like, huh? but I showed her my work, and explained all the things I had learned, and she was amazed. She said, "Wow, did your mum help you with this?" and I said, "No! It was James!" "My god!" So I told her that when James explained it to me, I understood. "Really? James covered my lesson?" "YES! For the whole week!" Brilliant! (bursts out laughing).

Building on actor/TV imagery, the children were then able to articulate more clearly why is it that deaf educators make sense to them. If a deaf person's signing looks like acting, or like something from the television, it is only a short step to understanding why this is so important to deaf children's learning. The television is not simply an object in the room; it is a picture or film in their mind. The connection between seeing and understanding is made.

Kimberley: With deaf signing, and facial expression, it looks so real, like acting, and the picture grows in your head, like a TV, a picture in your head. And your understanding builds up and up. And the deaf teacher asks you a question, and you know and it's "Right!" So you understand, you know what they're talking about, you write it down cos you know. With hearing sign, it's just waffle, blah blah blah, but I know why that is, it's cos they're hearing. But when it's a deaf person, they're acting, and you can really concentrate on their expressions, and you know what it means.

Natasha: Right! It can be so difficult with the hearing teacher, they come in and start signing, and it goes completely over your head, so ask them to repeat it cos you don't understand what they mean. But if there's a word and you don't know what it means, a deaf person will explain really clearly, straightaway you understand (laughs). It's just how my mind works! I don't know why! (laughs) Most deaf children understand deaf!

Kumar: That's why, if there's something in Maths, or Science, or English that I don't understand, I go straight to George, I always go to him, I'd never ask a hearing teachers, only George, always him!

Something that the children all seem to agree on, not only in terms of what they described to me, but also in the ways they themselves taught me, is the strong use of examples. When new concepts are being taught, or when ideas are conveyed, this is best done through giving examples. Without this, the television picture in the mind is not tuned in properly; there is interference.

Chrissie: Yes, well deaf people give more examples, loads of examples, makes it clear.

Natasha: Maybe Maths, or Science, hearing teachers will explain, but deaf teachers add in extra information to explain, like if you were learning about digestion, maybe a hearing teacher would use a sign, and I'd be thinking, "What?" but then the deaf teacher would sign, "Oh, you know, digestion..." and give examples, oh right! Now I understand! That's what it means! Hearing teachers waffle on, but still, the key word, 'digestion', I don't get what that means, but deaf people can explain it clearly, and with detail. Hearing teachers sign bit like robots, deaf teachers give details, more examples, more information, to help deaf children to understand. Hearing teachers will just repeat the same information over and over, and sometimes I ask them to explain more, but it still doesn't make any sense, I don't know why that is (shrugs).

Whenever the children talk about their favourite deaf educators, they invariably refer to the fact that they enjoy watching, or that learning becomes fun as humour is commonly employed in deaf teaching. As a pedagogical strategy, humour in sign encourages the children to see the world through deaf eyes.

Edwin: George can be really funny sometimes and we're all laughing with him, and that encourages us, it's more fun.

It also makes them think, as young deaf people, and it keeps them alert. Are they being told the truth or is this a test? They need to watch very carefully.

Hadi: I remember the time George told the alarm clock story, and at the end, he asked us, "So what happened? How?" and we all had to think really hard what the answer was, was it this? Was it this? And we didn't get it, so in the end he explained to us what happened in the story, and it was so funny, we were all laughing, we love that! So much fun! (laughs).

The point here is that the children all respond so positively to someone who commands their attention. And that attention is held through engaging with them, making them laugh, checking that they are watching and understanding, and making them think.

Kumar: Oh, definitely! So, it's like, he explains something, then suddenly, "OK tell me what I said" and I'm like, "All right, calm down" and maybe he's spotted me sat there daydreaming, not really paying attention, so he's trying to catch me out, "Tell me what I just said", so I have to think oh right, OK and try to explain, and he's like, "That's not right! You weren't watching properly!" so I know I must really concentrate to understand, I know what he's like (rolls eyes and laughs).

Perhaps we still have not uncovered explanations for what the children have so far said. While gathering their stories, examples, anecdotes and explanations, I was left wondering if there was something I had not yet fully understood. Why is it that all these things happen, fall into place, make sense? It seems the answer is a simple one.

Phoebe: Well, Carli's deaf, and we're just hooked, wow. You know, if it was a hearing person, we'd be like, o-o-o-h OK, what-ev-er, but with a deaf person, there's an instant bond. She's had the same experience as us, we're the same, and she understands how we feel.

Kimberley: We're the same, I'm deaf, you're deaf, huh! We're the same! And can sign with each other. If there's a hearing person, and they tell me, "I'm hearing" it's like, oh well, you don't know anything about what deaf is like, but if it's a deaf person, we're the same, and we have that bond. That's right, deaf people can relate to deaf children, and me, I'm deaf, good, I want more of that. Hearing people, talking, I just can't be bothered, but again, there are so few deaf people, so when you do meet one, it's just a relief, oh phew, at last! So that's why I relate to James, always talk to him, always, not with hearing, no.

If the children are able to engage with deaf educators because they are <DEAF-SAME>, how does this affect their learning, their general well-being, their sense of self. Natasha explained:

Well I think that deaf people just have more of a bond, that's why. I mean, hearing people can bond with deaf people, but deaf children are just more used to bonding with deaf people, it's like they're their friends, and it means we can trust deaf teachers.

It is difficult to know quite what to make of this, as it was put over in such a simple, matter-of-fact way. But we need to consider the importance of what Natasha says, however problematic. She is saying that, in a deaf school, the children see their deaf educators on some level as 'friends', and that there is a deaf bond:

I like her because she's deaf. I mean, sometimes she'll tell us off, but that's her job, but she's good, she's a nice person, and we have a good relationship, of course, because she's deaf! She's deaf, and I'm deaf, that's why.

Ben: Deaf people have grown up being deaf, they've been deaf children, maybe they've gone to a Deaf School. And Zoe, she knows what it's like cos she grew up deaf (smiles).

The children identify with their deaf educators because they are 'the same' as each other.

Phoebe: There's one deaf woman who works in the dorm, she started the same time I did at school, and we've really bonded. I like her, she's young, and she's deaf, we're the same as each other.

Kimberley: I've always been able to learn quickly, through year 7, year 8, year 9, because James's deaf, we're the same. With hearing people, it's like, hmm, OK, whatever.

### Deaf Ways

Many of the discussions I had with the children turned to the idea of deaf ways of either teaching or learning. I shared with them some of my observations of deaf educators, who—to my hearing-teacher-researcher mind—had very different ways of being in the classroom. One particular feature we all agreed on was that deaf educators are very strict. This is not to say that hearing teachers are not equally disciplinarian in their teaching. What are interesting, however, are the children's responses to deaf discipline strategies.

Kimberley: Oh yes, he can be quite scary, yes, frightening, he can look frightening (smiles)... and the new girl... well... he can be scary sometimes, but James, it's good that he's strict (laughs).

Phoebe: Yeah I remember George was strict, but that's important. I mean, if he wasn't then maybe we wouldn't be bothered about learning, but because we knew he was strict we had to pay attention, to lean. So we'd come into the lesson, knowing we had George, and we had to be ready, we knew we had to behave cos he was strict with us. And we respected him for that, that's how it started. But at that time, maybe we didn't really understand why he was on our case so much, but now, I understand. If only I'd realised back then! (smiles).

The children recognise that strictness can be good. Whether they are able to articulate their reasons for this or not, there was a general consensus that the strictness was fair, appropriate, justified and acceptable. As Natasha explained:

She's strict, but that's right. It means we all learn how to behave.

Kimberley: Where did I get my good attitude from? From Charlie of course. I'm thankful to him for that. Before, I was quite naughty. I remember in year 7 and year 8, I was naughty and would ignore the teacher, such a bad attitude. But now, I don't argue any more, I sit quietly and watch the teacher, no talking, just normal. Well, I mean it can be stressful, but you just have to get on with it. But really, thank you to Charlie.

Natasha: Is important because there are so many children at school, who grow up there, and when they are younger they are silly or naughty, but that's cos they don't understand. But as they start to get older, well maybe in year 7 or year 8 they still muck about, but by the time they get to year 9 year 10, they start to realise, oh learning is important. We have to learn, concentrate, because soon we will leave school and then we will have to be sensible.

Without necessarily realising it, the children are identifying one of the key features of deaf pedagogy when they explain that deaf educator discipline is not simply a means of controlling classroom behaviour, but of preparing the children for life beyond school, of demonstrating the fact that deaf educators have certain expectations for future adult members of the Deaf Community.

Natasha: That's right! Like, it makes deaf children want to achieve the same, because they're deaf as well.

And when the children are old enough to leave school:

Kumar: It prepares me, to feel confident. He teaches me what being deaf is like, so when I leave school I will be confident. I will always keep in my mind what he taught me, to be confident, and strong. So like he explained to us what will happen when we leave school. And I know what being deaf is like, and that with hearing people, it can be difficult. Deaf people can teach that. I don't really relate that much with hearing people. More with deaf people, cos I'm deaf too.

I wondered if the children had any examples of what they perceived to be a particularly deaf way of teaching, or dealing with them. Directness was one such perceived quality. Did they have any examples?

Kumar: George asked me to explain what the teacher had said. So I tried to explain, but as I was telling him, I realised I didn't understand it, because the teacher uses SSE all the time. So I was trying to explain, and it was really hard, and George was looking at me frowning, and suddenly he interrupted, "What are you talking about? I thought you of all people were clever!" So I realised that I had to be honest and to tell him that I hadn't understood the teacher cos it was all in SSE. And George said (throws arms in air) "But this is your GCSE exam!" (laughs).

Kimberley: Well, James's signing, and his facial expression, he's like this, "Come on, stop that, I'm angry, do you understand? Come on then, explain what I just said..." and I accept that yes. Because I like deaf people who sign strongly, because I understand them, and I learn quicker, it keeps me alert. Some other deaf people, their signing doesn't really engage me, it can be a bit boring.

It was also noted that deaf educators have an innate ability to change register, or to match deaf children's individual levels. As Ben told me:

George can change his register to suit each child.

I wondered if any of the children could think of any ways to illustrate a 'deaf way' of teaching. This is what Natasha told me:

I can spot the difference... deaf teachers are more BSL, different to hearing teachers. So for example, Amy is really fluent, and clear and says, "Now everyone watch" and then she explains slowly, well, not too slowly, but it's clear. Hearing teachers only give a brief explanation, they've written it all on the board and tell us to copy it into our books, but it's all done in the wrong order. Deaf people understand how to teach us, they explain it all first, you know, that's the right way. "Watch me, this is what we are doing today" and then they write it on the board, so they explain first, then we do the work, and get it done, it's easy. And even if the work is difficult, you can ask them to explain it again and then you just get on with it. So deaf teachers always explain first, then we get on with the work.

Michelle is particularly enamoured with her deaf educator's use of visual technology to help her learning and understanding:

We have got a smartboard, and it's really big, so much better, cos before we were all squeezed round this tiny screen, and you couldn't see properly. It was OK if there were only two of you, but there's five of us. So now James can point to the screen and explain it, and put all the information up there. If we use the small screen we can only see pictures one after the other, but with the big screen, you can see it all at the same time, and so we can understand (smiles).

The beauty of this kind of use of technology in the deaf classroom is that it can be seen to illustrate and complement how a deaf child's mind might work, in terms of spatial, chronological and visually constructed meanings.

Finally, Natasha alludes to concepts of safety, confidence and mutual respect in terms of learning from her deaf educators.

Oh but with deaf people I feel so much more confident. Hearing teachers are OK, but with deaf teachers, I am happier to ask questions. So if I don't understand something, I can ask Amy and she will explain it to me again. So then I can write it down, she helps me to learn, and to practice until it's perfect. And once you understand, you can move on to the next stage, keep moving on, doing different work cos you understand and can move on. Amy wants us all to understand, and once we do, we can move on to other work.

### Deaf Curriculum

During all our interviews, there was one particular topic that seemed to excite the children. Whenever we talked about Deaf Studies/Deaf History, they instantly became more animated, more eager to give examples, tell stories, and teach me. Chrissie explained the clear progression for children at her school:

When I was little I went to Deaf Group, then when I got older it became Deaf Studies, and I love that. Sometimes we learn Deaf History, wow!

The Deaf Studies slot on the timetable is eagerly anticipated,

Phoebe: Oh I remember we loved Deaf Studies. Always, it was lesson 1, lesson 2, lesson 3, then at last! Lesson 4 Deaf Studies! We were all so excited! But now there's nothing like that...

... as is the curriculum content itself. Edwin explained how the older children told him what they had been learning in the year above:

Well I heard there was a deaf queen!? Amazing! But we don't do that til year 8, so I guess I'll have to be patient and wait til next year. So before, I had to wait til I got to year 7, so I could have Deaf Studies. Then I went through year 7 and now that's finished, but there will be more next year. So I have to wait again! So we just go step by step, slowly, and then one day, finally, I will get to year 8! (bursts out laughing).

What kinds of things did the children do in Deaf Studies?

Hadi: In Deaf Studies, there was one lady who talked about a street... and there was a gate at one end, and there were lots of big houses either side. And the street was called Deaf Street. And, well some people, maybe University people like you are allowed in, and hearing families can live next door, but hearing people who can't sign aren't allowed in. And it was called Deaf Street, and hearing people are not allowed in. So we discussed that... really interesting!

Michelle: One time, James told us, he showed us a video of real life, this person had been brought up oral, and it was awful, I couldn't believe it. And we were learning all about that, but then it was the end of the lesson, no! Come on, we don't want to stop. And James laughed and said, "Sorry, end of the lesson!" so we had to wait til next time. And we were so excited, we'd had to wait, but then we got in there and carried on learning! We learn all about Deaf Culture, you know, sign, information all that. And it's good cos if we didn't have Deaf Studies, we wouldn't know what deaf means. So our deaf teacher explains Deaf Culture to us, what it means, what we need, and what our rights are, and it feels good.

What did Michelle understand by Deaf Culture?

It's like the Deaf Community, and deaf people all getting together at the Deaf Club, all signing. And sometimes hearing people are there, but really, deaf signing, really fast, it's our culture, our deaf group, it's deaf people all coming together and feeling a bond, really close, and different from hearing people. Cos sometimes I feel with hearing people, that bond is not so close, we sign, but it's hard... but I try.

Sometimes, conversations would lead on to subjects they hadn't yet studied, yet their enthusiasm was more than evident. I mentioned Martha's Vineyard to Chrissie one day. Before I had even begun to go into detail, she interrupted:

I want to move there (races through [US] one-handed alphabet)... yes, I will move there! (laughs).

Ben, who is older, had already learnt about Martha's Vineyard:

Oh my favourite, he taught us about the deaf people who moved to America, just to a small island, which was deaf. And time passed and the deaf population got bigger and bigger, but also there were hearing people there too, not talking, all signing, right! So they got bigger and bigger, but then they all started to move away to other parts of America, and I thought, damn! If they had stayed and were still there, then that's where I want to be, I would go there, straight away. Maybe I'd go there for a holiday and everyone would be signing—policemen, signing, ambulance drivers signing, fire brigade, all signing, and it would be fantastic and my eyes would pop out of my head! (bursts out laughing).

Both Chrissie and Ben reveal a desire here somehow to find out more about their deaf history, by identifying with deaf people from the past, and a wish to be able to travel back in time, or round the world to see and experience for themselves their newly discovered global community. The children's enthusiasm for Deaf Studies at times might be translated almost as craving knowledge, as if they have finally been given the opportunity to learn something which they instinctively know is important to them, and about which relatively little is still known or taught. While Michelle was having fun by this time, her plea contained a serious message:

We want to know who was the first ever deaf person in the whole world, we want to know that! But nobody's researched that!

(Donna: Might be difficult to find that out?)

No, it's easy! You could find it on stone carvings, read that and find out, simple! (laughs). We want to know who the first deaf person was, what the first building was, the first idea...

Through learning about Deaf History in Deaf Studies lessons, the children are taught to feel proud of their deaf heritage, and to feel a connection with their deaf past.

Phoebe: It means that people realise there are deaf people in the world. Otherwise it seems like deaf people are just lazy, never achieve anything in the past. But it (Deaf History) is great, we should have Deaf History.

Learning about their history also challenges some perceptions, thoughts or beliefs they might themselves have previously held.

Edwin: It means that people think, wow, really? Deaf people are really brave, really clever, and it will shock them. I mean, I used to think that in the past, deaf people didn't sign, that they were only oral, but now I know that they did have sign in the past, but they weren't allowed to sign, they had to be oral. And I thought that there were no born-deaf people in the past. I thought they were all born hearing then became deaf through illness. But now I know that there were deaf people, born-deaf people in the past. We're normal, born-deaf, that really hit me (smiles).

Once this is established, deaf children can then begin to understand the impact of a rich history on their own futures; feeling a connection to the past enables them to feel confident about their own futures.

Kimberley: Through history, famous deaf people have achieved so much. Like boxing, and golf, and football... And James tells us that we should be proud of deaf people's achievements in the past. And now, famous deaf people, well, there aren't really any, it's just normal now, but it the past, they were really really famous! And so many! And James tells us in Deaf Studies that we can be proud of all those deaf people who achieved so much so long ago. And it makes me thankful to have a connection to that history, that tradition. And because I'm deaf, I want to tell hearing people that I am proud of who I am, and that I can achieve too. I'm not stupid, I'm not less than you. I am the same. Deaf people can achieve the same as hearing people. And that motivates me, I am proud of my deaf tradition, I am proud to be deaf. And then hearing people will say, "Oh yes, deaf, right!" cos they know we have a past... and that will be nice.

Ben: And all these deaf things happened in the past, and it's so interesting I want to know about it. It's like ideas and inventions, and signing, where did they come from? who started them? like, who's idea was the BDA? whose idea was the FDP? All these things in Deaf History are so interesting. And then it makes you feel confident, that help is there, and you can have your own ideas, do things, and move on. It's like hearing history, hearing think that's important, well Deaf History is important too. And hearing people think that they are better, up here, and deaf people are down there and can be brushed away, but now deaf people are moving up!

So, what might the implications be if that History was not there, or not taught?

Kumar: Paaanic!! Hearing people would laugh at us, or maybe freak out, cos they've never seen a deaf person before. Deaf people need to be with each other, cos hearing people might bully us. "I'm deaf, that's all!" Hearing people don't know how to relate to deaf people. And we can't communicate, we're stuck, just saying, "Hello" that's it. So that's why it's such a relief to have deaf people. Really grateful. And Deaf History means hearing people have to think about deaf people's achievements, and then they have to respect us, and be nice to us! (smiles).

As Ben summed up:

I feel it's important for me to feel a link with deaf people.

## Community

These young deaf children have—to a greater or lesser degree—been exposed to the Deaf Community, both local and global. This occurs through active membership of the local Deaf Club, and through wider exposure in Deaf Studies lessons. In general terms, the notion of community acts as a way of grounding the children, of orientating them as young deaf people.

Hadi: It's like with a community, I feel close. I feel, if I get panicky, or feel lost, they're always there, no problem, to support me.

While for some children, the concept of community might seem rather remote and abstract, the importance of deaf friends cannot be underestimated. Commonly for deaf sign-language-using children, it seems, other deaf children of similar age are in short supply, and friendships are highly valued.

Chrissie: But what I really wish is that all my friends that have gone away to different schools would all come back to Deaf Club here, so that one day I could see Amina again, and see Sheena, one day I hope.

However, Chrissie was quick to point out that she considers deaf people of all ages to be her friends. Even really old people?

You mean like Carli's mum? Oh, it's fine! So we sign together, but it's different signing, old signing, from before. And sometimes I do have to ask Carli, and it's difficult because old people have false teeth, so it's difficult to follow them, cos their false teeth are wobbling around and it's hard to understand (laughs), and they've got old hands too. So if I don't understand, I try to think, hmmm, what was old sign language like a long time ago? I try to do that, and mostly I understand, but they do use old fashioned signs. I wish I had more relationships with old people, cos they have their own signs, there is old people sign language! And old people are important to me... well, all deaf people are important to me, but when I try to talk to old hearing people, they don't really understand what it's like to be deaf, most of the old people I know don't sign, so it's hard to have a relationship with them.

As well as meeting local deaf people of different ages, some of the children have experience of residential education, where friendships grow, and friendship groups expand. There is a particularly special bond that exists for the children who live in the dorm, as Phoebe explained:

There are primary children there too, really young children. One of them is only five, but she has an older brother at the school. But it's tough for the children, and they pester us a lot! (smiles). It feels like we're all sisters and brothers, a whole group of us in the house together. So there is that group thing, we trust each other, we tell each other everything. So it's special.

### Deaf Club

For deaf children who attend a day school, attendance at Deaf Club is an opportunity to socialise informally with their friends, siblings (deaf and hearing) and other members of the local Deaf Community. The children rarely miss a week. For Hadi, it is almost a necessity to go:

Oh I really like it. It so exciting to see my deaf friends, but it's really disappointing not to have an after school club too. It's quite boring, oh, stay home with my hearing family, nothing to do. Deaf children need more friends, they need that bond with other deaf, where they can sign, they need that.

And Michelle sees it as a chance to relax in a deaf space that is not school:

I really like it. Every week, I come every week. It's different from school. That's just lessons all the time, but at Deaf Club, there's signing, games, everything, like art, and painting, it's really good fun, and sometimes we have deaf visitors, no hearing people! Oh, except you, but you're Donna so it doesn't matter because you're a good signer and you help with interpreting so that's nice.

And for Ben, it has become almost a second home, where he can be himself:

So that's why I've been coming every single week, when I go to Deaf Club, it like it's deaf, it's mine. And inside, I know I'm deaf (smiles).

## Hearing Family

As already explained in the introduction, all the children have hearing families. Two have deaf siblings. All the families sign in addition to using spoken language(s) at home. Whenever the topics of family or parents came up in our conversations, the children were invariably keen to point out the extent to which they felt 'supported'. They often placed their comments within the context of being deaf in a signing hearing family. As Edwin told me one day:

Well sometimes parents can be horrible, and cruel to their children, but not my parents, they are nice and kind. Some parents, when their children are born deaf, they go into a panic, what shall I do? Help me please!! And they choose oral communication. But my parents said no, they would sign with me, and I want to thank them for that, they didn't choose oral, they didn't want to send me to an oral school. Imagine if I went to an oral school, I wouldn't have my friends, nothing that I have now would have happened.

Chrissie: Oh I love my family, I really, really love them. But I wish, maybe they could suddenly change, and become deaf. I do wish that sometimes. They'd be the same people, the same personality, but just wake up one morning, deaf! I wish... Oh but I do love them!

Phoebe: I have this family, and there are really good, they try really hard for me...

Kimberley: My family really support me, they're always saying, "Do you understand what I'm saying?" they're always trying to help me, sometimes I want to say, "It's OK, calm down, I know what you're talking about!" (bursts out laughing).

Kumar: Well, I'm lucky because sometimes me and my sister get really bored at home, because everyone is just talking all the time, like, "Did you hear that awful news?", something they heard on the radio, and I can't be bothered with all that, so the two of us just chat about different things. And everyone is talking, but with us two, both deaf, we get on really well, and we're really lucky!

## Good Hearing Teachers

When talking about hearing people the children were particularly clear in conveying positive messages and admiration for hearing teachers who were 'good'. This was most commonly associated with their signing skills.

Natasha: Some hearing teachers can sign really fluently, like deaf people. There's one teacher, she's hearing, and she's been a teacher for 25 years, so she signs like deaf people.

Phoebe: Oh some hearing teachers can sign naturally, and can develop a rapport with deaf children. Sometimes.

Ben made the following observation:

Well, I did have a hearing teacher before, who signed brilliantly, but he had deaf parents.

In addition to signing ability, the concept of 'attitude' was equally important.

Ben: And there was another good teacher, my English teacher, who had deaf parents. And another Science teacher, the first lesson, he said to us, "You want BSL or SSE?" Amazing, I'd never seen that before. And communication was really easy, and we could understand him.

Again, hearing teachers with deaf parents are identified as the ones with the best attitude towards deaf children.

Dominic: There was one fantastic hearing teacher, who had deaf parents, which meant that she had acquired deaf knowledge growing up. So she had the facial expression, and learned sign from her parents, and she lived with it everyday, so she was deaf inside (smiles).

Phoebe: Some hearing teachers have respect, I can tell, and it's because they've got deaf parents.

Phoebe gave an example of the difference between what she described as understanding:

The teacher who had deaf parents was different, she was a really good signer. For example, some teachers, if I signed something, they wouldn't understand me, but this teacher really understands us all, and if we're signing sneakily under the desk to each other, she's like, "I know what you're saying!" Oops!! So there is a really good understanding between us. But I do still think deaf teachers are better.

This also translates in some children's minds as respect.

Michelle: Well, Mr Reilly is a good signer and I understand him, and if there's something I don't understand I can ask him to explain and he will. He's not like, "No! You should understand the first time!" Nothing like that, he respects us and will explain again.

The inevitable question, then, was "What makes a good teacher?" For Phoebe, it was about establishing some kind of bond, or rapport with the students:

Well, the first thing is to get to know the children. Build up a relationship, get to know them before starting to teach. Ask the children, then teach them. I think that's the best way.

Or perhaps it was about making sure the children were engaged, or felt involved in their learning.

Phoebe: And, they should explain what they will be teaching. So, for example... it's hard to think of an example, but maybe they should start with something interesting, so we become interested and want to know more, compared with, "OK, open your books, blah blah blah" that's just boring. And teachers should tell us about themselves, so we can get to know them, who they are, so when they explain what we will be learning this term, and then next term, we are interested, because we feel involved.

## Growing Up

A common theme within the children's stories is the reflection on their own identity development as young deaf people. All of them, without prompting, offered views on how they have changed, and are still changing and growing. Dominic chose to see his development in terms of gaining knowledge. His point of reference is his relationship with his mother. For years, he was one who needed to know more, in comparison, say, to his knowledgeable mother. The key turning point was when he suddenly realised:

Mostly my mother taught me and then as I was growing up, suddenly it all changed! I knew better (more) than my mum (laughs) so I was young and my mum knew more than me, but then I overtook her and now I know more than her. It was strange, all change! (laughs).

Natasha's focus is very much on the journey ahead of her, for which she now feels prepared:

Well, I'm still quite shy, but it's different now. It's difficult to predict the future, but, well if I stay here, I will still be the same person, but living here could get boring, so I think I want to visit different places. I know I live here now, but not forever. That's just boring. I want to go places, like London. And travel the world.

How does this change come about? Is it to do with education? Socialisation? Or is it just part of growing up? Natasha thinks it is just part of growing up, and not necessarily attributable to her schooling. What we don't know from this is the extent to which her deaf education allowed her to grow in confidence. It was something she didn't particularly wish to explore:

It's just about getting older, changing, growing up. And is that because of school? No, I mean, school's OK, but I'm growing up. When I was little, I had no confidence. But now I understand, you know what I mean?

Ben chose to illustrate this by looking back on his younger years:

Oh I was looking back and thinking... I remember when I was really young, and I would look up at my mum and the idea of the hearing world, it meant nothing to me at that time, I was young. I mean, I just didn't use my ears, just my eyes, that was how it was. I didn't know anything different, that was normal. But then as I got a bit older, Mary would be signing to us and she would say, "You're deaf, you're deaf", and I thought, oh whatever. And I'd use that sign, I'm deaf, deaf. I didn't actually think about it. So then I got a bit older, and now, it's like, I look at myself and, oh right! That's what it means! (laughs).

From this example we can begin to understand that for Ben, growing up is synonymous with understanding what it means to be deaf. Kimberley chose to reflect on her schooling as a means to understand how she has changed and grown. Sometimes it is new experiences that force us to consider what has, until then, been taken for granted, or accepted as normal.

Well, it's only now because I had that mainstream experience that I can look back and realise what I had at Deaf School. And if I hadn't gone to mainstream school, I would have just carried on, thinking nothing of it.

As the children get older, they are exposed to different people and situations. As we have seen, Kimberley's experience of a different school setting resulted in a re-evaluation of her life experiences so far. For Natasha, development and change is measured not only through gained knowledge, but also in socialising, and exposure to new friendship groups.

I've been meeting more and more friends... and at first, I try to be calm, even though I get embarrassed and feel shy at first, but that's because I don't know them yet, but slowly I get used to it, and we become friends and I can do it myself.

I was curious as to whether the children, as Kimberley has already alluded, took their early deaf education experiences for granted.

Ben: Well, we used to just think George was OK, but now it's hit me, and I half wish we still had him, because communication was so easy with him. And when I moved, I had to learn how to communicate with different people. But then again, if it was just the same person all the time, and then suddenly they left, then what would I do? I'd be completely lost!

Ben admits that when he was younger, he—with his friends—took the experiences and learning for granted, especially his deaf educators. While half wishing that George could come with him, or follow him through the rest of his education, he acknowledges that it is more beneficial, and a part of growing up, to let go, to meet, get to know, and learn from new people.

Independence is a common marker for growth and development, particularly for deaf children who have spent their early years in a small Deaf School. For Dominic, the move to a residential school was the key to his independence:

I'm more independent now. More grown up, more confident. So I don't panic if I'm away from home, cos I've been away lots now. So I'm independent, I've learned that from being in the dorm for three years. And it's funny, because I was at my old school, and then I moved and everything was all change, and now my old school is just in the past. I'm at this school now. I remember in year 7 not wanting to move, wanting to stay, but I'm happy here now, this school is OK. When I first arrived, it really hit me, boarding school, away from home. But I'm used to it now.

With independence comes responsibility, and rules.

Phoebe: Independence? Nah, I'm a really lazy person! (smiles). But I did have to learn how to be independent from my parents, and not rely on them all the time. So yeah, I have to be independent, I have to make my own bed, the dorm has rules, and if you break them, you are grounded (shrugs).

Edwin: I think it will help me... like... at school it's so small, so self contained, I want more... a bigger group, to learn more, more independence from home, to help me cope in the real world. I want to find out more about being happy in myself, because I'm pretty much on my own at home... I need to see what's out there, meet more deaf.

## Happy Deaf?

Are the children happy? Phoebe stopped to think:

Hmmm... I'm not sure (smiles). I think I'm happy, with my life. And I have this family, and they are really great, they work hard for me and it's difficult. Am I a happy person? I think I am, yes.

Kimberley?

Yes, I'm happy, really, definitely, completely happy, happy being deaf. Why? Because I have hearing friends who can sign, and deaf friends who are amazing signers, and hearing people can be so boring, talking all the time, but being deaf is fun, and I enjoy it.

Dominic: Yes I am a happy person yes. A happy deaf person (smiles).

Hadi: Yes. Happy. Most of the time. I think so.

And Chrissie:

Oh hap-py!

(Donna: Change anything?)

Nooooooo! (smiles).

# II Difficult-what?

<DIFFICULT> is again a sign that the children use, often in a different way to how it is meant or used in English. It is invariably used when they talk about communication, learning and attitudes, and here could simply be translated as "I find it difficult to communicate with hearing people if they don't sign". It is also used as a way of saying "It's difficult to talk about it, difficult to express." Also detected, and harder to describe is the way they use <DIFFICULT> as a kind of coda, or full-stop, indicating they have finished what they wanted to say, and don't want to continue.

THIS chapter deals with some of the children's many frustrations. They are re-presented here under four main headings: Attitude, Hearing Sign, School/Curriculum and Community and Future. These categories are based on not only recurring topics, but also emerge from some of the most powerful and expressive features of their discourse as young deaf people.

## Attitude

In many of our conversations, and amongst the children themselves, a common sign is <ATTITUDE>. There are seemingly endless variations, particularly when discussing a person's bad attitude—towards deaf people, deaf children, sign language and so on. Sometimes, the sign is compounded with the sign for <BAD>, as in "bad attitude". I have also seen the sign for attitude thrown from the nose in an expression almost of contempt. It can also be accompanied by frowns, puffed cheeks, sharp intakes of breath, and so on. The following sections are an attempt to document some of the many occurrences of 'attitude' as the children told me. The first concerns hearing people.

### Hearing

A common theme seems to be frustration at not being taken seriously by hearing people, or at being on the receiving end of patronising behaviour or communication. Sometimes, if there are difficulties in school, and children turn to their (hearing) teachers for help, their appeals or requests are, in the children's eyes, ignored: "You'll be all right... don't worry".

Phoebe: Attitude is so important, I mean attitudes about deaf, to understand how we feel. And when they say, "Oh, it doesn't matter, you'll be fine", I want to say, "NO! It does matter!" aaargh. Why do they do that? I don't know. I think they just like to avoid trouble, keep out of it.

As we can see from this, Phoebe feels that it is largely down to her teachers not wanting to get involved, of avoiding trouble. When asked why she thought that was, such as difficulty understanding, or communicating, she offered this:

Hearing teachers who have deaf friends maybe only see them once a month. And when you try to tell hearing teachers about any problems you have, they say, "Oh, it's OK, just ignore them" and I feel like saying no! But deaf help us, they understand how we feel, they have lots of experience, and hearing don't have that. Some hearing teachers are soooo patronising. They say things like, "Oh, I know..." and, "It's very difficult isn't it?" And it's so frustrating I want to tell them, no!

Did the other children feel the same?

Kimberley: That's right I don't want them to "Poor-thing" me! I know what hearing are like, I know.

There is a sense that deaf children look to their teachers as adults with responsibility to look after them, but often:

Ben: If you tell the hearing teacher you're fed up (with bullying) he says, "Oh, we'll sort it out later". I really hate that. They're involved with children but always want to avoid problems, ignore what's happening. He hates dealing with problems. He's weak, he avoids them, won't sort them out. Like if he's on duty, he's always ready to listen to the hearing children, but he won't listen to us. He blames us, and then later, he realises, oh, it was the hearing children who started it. Such a bad attitude, he listens to hearing but really, he's supposed to look after deaf children, that's his responsibility, he should listen to both, be fair to both.

Have they experienced negative attitude from any of their hearing teachers?

Chrissie: One of my other teachers, says things like, you can't do that because you're deaf. She said that, it's true! I was so shocked! I thought, it doesn't matter we're deaf, why are you trying to stop us from succeeding? I'd be looking at her and thinking, why are you a teacher? Why are you working with deaf children if that's your attitude? She's also very... patronising. No! I'm equal to hearing!

Another frequently occurring experience was of hearing teachers who simply don't know what it is like to be deaf.

Phoebe: Hearing teachers maybe only start meeting deaf when they are adults, not when they're growing up, they miss that, so they don't know how deaf feel, no.

Some, though, claim they do know.

Phoebe: Hearing teachers grow up hearing. Maybe some of them have deaf parents, or deaf friends, and that's different. But, hearing teachers who grow up hearing and claim to know about deaf, really? Maybe they've done research, but, claiming to know exactly how deaf feel? And saying, "Oh yes, I understand." "Really? You understand?" I don't think so! So, some have deaf family or have grown up with deaf friends, and try to understand, so some of them, but... difficult.

This can be frustrating.

Chrissie: It's difficult. I want all my teachers to understand the things that deaf don't want, don't like. They need to understand those things, like talking for example.

Hadi: Her attitude, she's really nice and sweet to some children then suddenly she blows her top at us.

Michelle: My teacher is nice sometimes and then she just blows her top, she changes all the time.

Hearing teachers are perceived as strict, but in contrast to the approval of deaf educator's strict approach, this is often met with disdain, disinterest or dismissal.

Chrissie: Well, I don't like my teachers. They are really strict and most of the children are really silly, messing about. Their signing is bit rubbish, and the children are being silly and they try to tell us off, I hate that. The children are always messing about and the teacher can't control them.

While the children's responses may often appear flippant and lightly dismissive, it is possible to detect ways in which some hearing teacher's disciplinary methods upset them too.

Hadi: That time she told us to shut up! You're not allowed to say that in school! That's a bad word. And Lilly burst into tears. And the children just blanked her... that really wound me up.

There are many examples in our conversations of the ways in which deaf children respond to what they perceive as bad, unhelpful, confusing behaviour by some hearing teachers: <ATTITUDE-BAD>. Some children become so frustrated that they cannot control their emotions, and become aggressive.

Edwin: We were all sat there in class and Charlie started complaining about the noise, because the teacher was talking all the time. So Charlie took his hearing aids off, but he could still hear her, cos she's got a loud voice anyway. And me and Avril just put up with it. And the teacher gave out the work and told us to get on with it, whatever, and then she pointed at Charlie's work and said really loud, "You've made a mistake!" And Charlie was really boiling by now and he banged his fist on the table and said, "I am so fed up listening to your voice!" and the teacher shouted, "Get out!" and Charlie went out and slammed the door. It was really awful and we were all really shocked and we all went quiet. The teacher said, "Bad, silly boy" then she started saying, "Get on with your work" and she said, "Good boy" to me. And when Charlie came back he was calm and got on with his work and ignored the teacher's voice, much calmer. But still Charlie gets easily wound up. And I keep thinking, ooh, hope he doesn't blow again! Oooh!

An extreme example, perhaps, yet most of the children regularly experience feelings towards some of their teachers which are signed <ANNOYED> <BLOW-TOP> <WANT-STRANGLE> <SHAKE-FIST>.

Phoebe: Well some teachers are fine, but some make me so mad. For example, like taking at the same time as writing on the board. Or shouting, "Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe!" And my friend tells her, "She's deaf!" Why is she shouting my name? She should come round to me, or tap me on the shoulder, or wave to get my attention, not shout. Aargh!

Michelle: Hearing people in school are always talking. Bad attitude! It's a Deaf School, not a hearing school!

Edwin: The teacher was shouting to him, "Hadi! Hadi! Hadi!" He can't hear you, he's deaf! Oh I wish he would leave.

At other times, behaviour by hearing teachers is seen as inappropriate, or disrespectful of the deaf space in school.

Chrissie: Sometimes he interrupts us, and I'll be sat watching the teacher, trying to concentrate and he comes in. He comes into a deaf situation, not a hearing class, like BSL time, and I'm thinking, "Why are you here?" And the deaf teacher is making things really clear in my head, but when he was there, I was watching the deaf teacher but I looked over at him and it interrupted me... difficult.

Michelle: The teacher was tapping me when I was trying to work/watch the deaf teacher. And she said, "Don't ignore me! So I looked round, oh now I've missed something! Aaargh!

There are also instances where teacher's judgement is questionable, for example

Phoebe: Really, he's a terrible teacher, really, really terrible. He can't explain things clearly. I mean, I can understand him, but the others can't. They're always asking, "What? What?" and it's going way over their heads. And sometimes he asks me to explain to them. That's not right. It's like, hang on, that's your job. I'm here to learn, you're here to teach. That's how it's supposed to be. But he says, "Come on, you explain to them, they don't understand. You know BSL".

Perhaps one of the starkest contrasts between deaf educators and hearing teachers is the way in which the message, "You have to live in a hearing world" is communicated to and understood by deaf children in their various school settings. The more exposure they have to different philosophies regarding education, socialisation and enculturation, the more they are able to fit together the pieces of the jigsaw in their own ways. Phoebe has friends at several different schools, which has given her a broad perspective on the more 'hidden' aspects of deaf education.

I think that my school is different. And I know that there are hearing at my school and it can be difficult, but it means it reflects what it is like outside in the world, lots of hearing people and not many deaf. But at that school, it's just deaf children in a group, and they're all speaking and nodding, and the Teacher knows their speech, and even if it isn't that good, the teacher knows their voice and is used to it. But it's actually giving some of the children a false idea that their speech is OK, and then later on, they meet a hearing person and start talking, and the hearing person can't understand a word they are saying, and that's when their confidence crashes to the floor, and that's such a shock for them. But I know what hearing are like, I just get on with it, but for those children, they get panicked, I can see it happening. And yes, they're really clever, but clever in terms of school work, but not in more general terms.

Hadi is clear himself that as a deaf person, he is in a minority, and that certain concessions have to be made. He accepts that he needs good skills in English. However, he is also aware of his rights as a deaf person. BSL should be given equal weight:

Because it is my right to have BSL. I'm deaf. And I know that I need English too, because I am living in a hearing world, but having to concentrate on lipreading and speech, no. I'm deaf. I have rights.

Michelle appreciates the fact that school has taken the responsibility to prepare her for adult life, but, again:

Prepare me yes, but I don't like being forced to speak.

Readers may feel uneasy with the children's assertions, and feel perhaps that they are too young to know fully what life will be like beyond school, that once they have left the safety of Deaf School, those who insisted that they learn to speak and listen (albeit in addition to signing) will be proved right. Ben finds this argument fascinating, as a young deaf person from a hearing family who has grown up with BSL as his first language. On meeting new deaf friends at a different school:

Ben: Some of their parents don't sign at all. And one of them asked me, "Your family are deaf, right?" And I said, "No". "They're hearing?!?" "Yes!" And they couldn't believe it. So their family were hearing and oral, and yes, my family are hearing but they are strong signers. That's the difference. But they were really surprised. That was strange. So I am deaf and I sign but I have grown up in a hearing family and I know what the hearing world is like.

### Hearing Children

Deaf children are often misunderstood, teased or bullied by hearing children. What comes across strongly though is the way in which these children are able somehow to philosophise, offer explanation, assert their own selves in the face of such behaviour, or simply put it down to life experience.

Natasha: Hearing children really teased me. It's because they don't understand deaf, we're different from hearing children, that's why hearing children bully us.

Chrissie: Well sometimes I do need help from hearing people, like maybe in a shop, and sometimes hearing people can be really kind, but sometimes they look down on us, and laugh at us, but that's only because they don't understand who I am.

On moving to a new school:

Edwin: I'm quite excited, but also a bit scared that I will get picked on, so nervous that hearing will tease me, but I think that will only be a few children, that's all.

Phoebe: I remember one time I went to a friend's house, and there was a group of children and they were having a go at me... I'm deaf, deaf! I'm normal! Why? I don't get it. Oh well...

## Hearing Sign

All the children are formally taught by hearing teachers, the majority of whom do not have BSL as their first language. One or two of them are taught by teachers who have deaf parents or siblings. In the main, they feel their teachers' communication skills leave a lot to be desired.

Again, facial expression is unanimously the key feature of engagement and understanding.

Kumar: Hearing teachers just sign with blank faces, that's all. I don't understand them.

Edwin: Hearing teachers just have the same blank face. What's that about? I mean, some of them use a little bit of facial expression but not him, he's got no expression, he's just blah blah blah all the time. It's really confusing. What are you saying?

Chrissie: Hearing teachers' facial expression just doesn't work for me.

Lack of, or inappropriate, expressions mean that the children feel unable to engage with the teacher or the learning experience.

Michelle: Hearing teachers just sign wrong. I can't engage with them, it feels like a waste of time. It's like they're acting, not signing, but full acting, with their whole body. They're acting the story, not signing it, and with no facial expression. And I'm looking, thinking, what is your problem?!

As well as facial expression, there is the absence of register.

Michelle: Oh, my teacher! It's so annoying. She signs with voice, blah-blah-blah, and she rushes and she's so over-excited. I want to tell her to calm down. I really feel she needs to calm down. What's the rush for? And she's always gushing, "Gooood giiiirl!!" and patting me on the back, and whatever. It gets on my nerves!

There is also an underlying feeling to do with respect (or otherwise) for deaf people's language, and those hearing teachers who "won't learn to sign properly."

Hadi: Well, they should learn to sign properly before they arrive at the school to teach.

Phoebe: He's been there for **ten years**!

I was curious to see if the children could describe hearing people's signing, or give examples. Much of the problem is the distinction between BSL and SSE. Hearing teachers more often than not are not using BSL, and if they are, it is often not 'strong'.

Edwin: It's English English English all the time!

Hadi: With the hearing teachers it's English English English. Sometimes you get a teacher who is a good signer, but it's rare.

Natasha: Oh, she can use BSL, but not strong BSL, she can't explain things clearly, it's not clear enough.

Kimberley made an interesting observation; the difference between learning and language, and knowing, or understanding it:

Hearing people can't sign because they are really hearing, and they've never been taught about BSL, so they don't really know what it's like. They don't know about BSL in depth. They don't know about Deaf Studies. They just learn to sign, to say, "Hello, how are you?" you know what I mean? That's it. (shows example of how deaf and hearing both sign, "Hello, how are you?") And hearing people just don't know, they don't understand, they learn BSL, but not in any depth.

There are times in the class when hearing teachers don't know the sign for something, or don't have a rich enough vocabulary. When this happens, they turn to deaf staff as language resources. While this might seem acceptable and appropriate behaviour, for the children, it represents a lack of skill, and an interruption to the flow of their learning.

Hadi: Most of the hearing teachers sign really slowly and then they forget the sign for something, and say, "Oh I forget the sign for xxx, I'll have to ask Zoe" and then they go off, and I'm sat there thinking, "What's going on?"

I talked to the children about whether they could identify what was missing from hearing sign. This proved a difficult question to answer specifically.

Chrissie: There's just something missing, like it's different from deaf signing. So if a hearing person is signing like, "A long time ago a boy was walking to school" like this (shows me) I don't think it's very good, but deaf would sign it like this (shows me with more rich description and detail) (laughs), like that. Hearing signing is just boring, just, "He walked to school" and that's it.

Kumar: I think hearing can sign, but it's different. It's hearing sign. And with too much talking. It's just different. Like normal signing but slow. And I don't understand it. There's no depth, no detail. It's like quiet signing.

Kimberley: It's too English, in sen-ten-ces, that's what is it. Signs like words in English sentences.

Hearing use of sign results in either misunderstanding, confusion, or extra work for the children.

Dominic: Some hearing teachers can sign in my school but it's hearing, clumsy signing. And some sign really slowly. And it means deaf children lag behind hearing because I can't understand. Deaf signing is really deep and the detail helps me to understand straightaway, but hearing signing is so brief I don't know what they are saying.

Chrissie: They're just not fluent, it's really clunky, and boring.

Hadi: Hearing signing means I am not sure, I don't know if I've understood. Yes, they use signs, but really they are using voice.

Natasha's description is perhaps one of the most unconsciously profound explanations of what happens in a deaf child's processing mind:

Because, most deaf children understand deaf teachers because it's good, clear signing, but sometimes, when I'm watching hearing signing, I understand what they say, but I don't understand what they mean.

She added:

It's difficult, I know it's not their fault, they try their best, but most hearing sign goes over my head.

In the instances where deaf children don't understand their teacher, it is often the case that they rely on common sense, and try and work it out together, hoping for the best, which sometimes pays off.

Edwin: Sometimes we get really confused with SSE, like one time the teacher signed to us (gives example of SSE signing) and I thought, what did she say? So me, Charlie and Avril all got together and tried to work out what she said. "Maybe she wants us to type it up on the computer?" So we tried that, and she came over to us and said, "Good! That's right!" and Avril was just rolling her eyes. Phew!

But clearly, sometimes it is simply too wearing to try and work out what is required.

Natasha: Sometimes I wonder what's the point, but we have to ask, "Please can you say that again?" then she explains it to us all over again.

Continually asking the teacher to repeat, explain or clarify what they have said is frustrating and runs the risk of the deaf child being accused of paying attention, or of being naughty. It also indicates a longer-term implication for some deaf children's education.

Kimberley: My teacher always uses SSE, and I am always having to ask, please, can you say that again, please can you say that again, on and on and on like that, because I don't understand. What a waste of time!

Michelle has a simple request:

I would like her to respect me for asking her to repeat what she's said so I can understand. I don't want to be rushed, I want the information given to me at the right pace, not in a rush.

For as long as they can remember, in school, the children learnt to read by using SSE with their hearing teachers. Chrissie explained what this is like for her:

Most teachers, when we are reading sign like this, "The man went to the... " and I watch them, and then look down at the words and have to ask, "Can you tell me what it means?" and then they tell me. And then I carry on reading. And when I go home, I'll read it again, and if I don't understand something, I'll use a dictionary. But a lot of the time it's hard to be motivated because it is so tiring in class, with the teacher reading with voice, a lot of my teachers do that, and one of them, she's got a deaf sister, and she uses her voice all the time. And I'm thinking, but you've got a deaf sister. Please, voice off, please, and some peace, just reading with sign.

So, how would they prefer to learn to read?

Phoebe: Through BSL. Finished. Simple!

Hadi: Maybe, read a book and then think about it, like you said, read the words, then think about the meaning, and change it, like take off 'the', 'is', 'went', and think about it, yes, that's it, I've got it. So read, close the book, think, change, but that's quite hard, to take it all in, to remember it hmmm. But I know lots of deaf adults who can do that, read something, take it in and sign it, especially George!

And is there any general advice deaf children would like to give to hearing teachers?

Michelle: I would say, use good facial expression, good BSL, like a more high level of signing, with more detail, more depth, with no voice, I want no voice with signing, change the language from English to BSL.

Chrissie: They must be able to sign well, not following English words, like, "I went to the... " (laughs) cos that stops me from understanding!

Kimberley: Explain things properly. Not like this: "Hello. Today Science. Today we are doing t-----" with a blank face. They should explain what t----- is. You know, point to where it is, what it's called. So we are aware of what we're doing. Not just sign t-----, that's all. So if a word is something I don't understand, then show where it is on the body, so I can understand. Some vocabulary is difficult for me to learn, but that's not my fault. I have to learn lots of new words, like transport, and I'm thinking, transport? Transport what? 02... transport... what does that mean? "Our body transports 02" that means nothing to me... I need more information. But if you tell me by giving visual information on the body, then I understand, right!

In the end, however, as Phoebe says:

Well, some are good and some are bad and some, it just goes completely over my head. But you get used to it, you learn what they're like.

## School and Curriculum

A source of frustration for some of the children is that they feel they are not being stretched, that their learning is not moving in the right directions, is moving too slowly, is simply being repeated, or has in fact got <STUCK>. As Michelle told me:

We're just learning the same things... my learning is stuck at half way. So now we have to learn everything twice, because everything is repeated... we've already learned those things before, and now I'm in year 6, I should be ahead, but we've been put in with year 5, so it's like we're brought back down again, but that's not appropriate, and it's boring doing the same things again and again. And my teacher, she moves backwards and forwards with the work (moving ahead, then going back again, and it all gets mixed up) all the time, it's so annoying!

Rather than moving forward with the work, there are often tasks given which are viewed as meaningless ways to pass the time.

Edwin: Homework is just typing up, it's so boring (sit mindlessly typing), and at school all we do is typing, pages and pages of typing!

At the same time, some children are able to identify what is missing from their timetable. Despite attending a Deaf School, some of the children are not taught BSL or Deaf History:

Phoebe: I think my school should teach Deaf History, to deaf and to hearing. To show that there are deaf people, who have a history. Come on! It's so disappointing not to have that any more. I mean, hearing have a great history, they are taught their history, but there's nothing about deaf in there, but there should be. So it feels like there's something missing. It should be there in the timetable.

Chrissie: We've been waiting now for four months for Deaf Studies.

## Teaching Ways

I wondered if the children had any examples of how hearing teachers work, and if this is different or similar to deaf teachers. Natasha, immediately and without hesitation, told me:

Most hearing teachers, they do a little bit of chat, in sign, then write on the board, then tell us to copy that into our books, then explain the work! So we all write it down in our book... but deaf teacher do it properly, whereas hearing are always going off the point and writing on the board. They should explain first, and then tell us to write it down but they don't. They do loads of writing on the board, and blah blah blah, now get on with your work, and then they explain what it's about. They should explain it first! Hearing teachers are all over the place, writing first and explaining after, it's the wrong way round.

Michelle agreed:

Yes, they say, copy this off the board, and then ask us if we understand it. And I feel they should tell us before. It doesn't feel right. But, oh well. So, one example, we were doing some work about newspaper headlines, so, we knew that was the topic, and we wrote it down off the board, then the teacher rubbed everything off the board and said, "Everyone understand?". And luckily, I had got it, but I realised that she should have checked before, in case the other children didn't understand properly. I tried to stop her, to tell her that some of them didn't get it, but she ignored me. And that worries me a bit, because you write it all down, and then have to put your hand up to say you don't understand. So then, the teacher says, "Oh, sorry" and explains. She needs to slow down. Because if I'm copying off the board, she starts rubbing it off before I've finished. I wish she would slow down, know what I mean?

A commonly observed sign amongst the children when talking about their learning is <MATCH-LEVELS>, which in pedagogical terms can be translated as differentiation. The children feel that some (though not all) hearing teachers are not able to differentiate in their teaching.

Edwin: It can get really confusing sometimes. Because I am working at a higher level, that's what my teacher told me, that my work is good. But then sometimes she gives me lower level work and I have to tell her, I've already done that. And she says, "Really? Oh sorry!" and then she checks her list and says, "Right, you're at Level four, that's right." Grrr!

Hadi: Deaf teachers can, and my teacher can, but most hearing teachers forget what levels individual children are working at.

Furthermore, when the children compare the education they receive to that of their hearing peers, they sometimes see a disparity.

Kumar: Deaf and hearing do similar GCSE work, but mostly, hearing are doing higher levels, and deaf are mostly at foundation, or intermediate. Hearing do higher levels. So we do the same work, but like, when you're in year 7, or year 8, or 9, it's different because hearing do it in more depth, like in Geography or RE, they start going into things in more depth. And deaf only do it at a slower pace, more superficial, so it's really different.

One of the most profound and poetic descriptions of the contrast between what the children can do, and are being taught came from Michelle:

I remember in BSL Charlie was telling this really funny story about going on a plane, and it was so funny, and he was a really hot storyteller, really detailed and we were all laughing so much... but then, in Speech time, we are told to sit on our hands or put them behind our backs and recite in a group, over and over again, the days of the week: "Mon-day, Tues-day, Wednes-day" again and again.

Some of the older children spend some of their time in a mainstream setting. This means that they are exposed to classes of hearing children taught by hearing (non-signing) teachers. This opens up a whole other area of experience, largely frustrating and unfair. Lessons are translated from spoken English into sign by Communication Support Workers (CSWs). Deaf children usually feel 'behind' their hearing peers in this situation, as Ben explained:

Deaf always get behind... there is one teacher who always talks too fast, and the CSW has to rush to keep up, it's not her fault but she's always having to tell us, "Write it down quickly!" and the teacher is just talking all the time, I wish she'd slow down. And all the hearing children get their heads down, do all the writing, finish it and sit there with their arms folded and I'm still thinking, what are we supposed to be doing? We're always being pushed to move on with the work. And I haven't even started and the hearing children have already finished! And it's really frustrating because it's really important information and I keep missing it and it's not my fault. Deaf children should be equal in the class, but they're not and the teacher needs to realise that. Because it's not fair that hearing can write and listen at the same time, but me, I'm visual, I need to look, then look at my work, and then look up again. I can't watch and write at the same time!

As the children's frustrations poured out of them (not without humour, it must be said), they also revealed their sense of powerlessness to be able to say anything about how they feel. In this sense, our interviews represented somehow a catharsis, as they recalled with me, and with each other, examples of events, conversations, lessons that 'make them mad'. This research project was not designed so that deaf children could simply rant about what they see as the unfairness of the system. Yet, there appeared to be little opportunity for such release (small peer group, varying communication with hearing staff, lack of an appropriate forum for their voices to be heard, for example). As they told me, "We want to say how we feel, but we can't, we're not allowed".

Phoebe: Well, some teachers are fine, but others drive me mad. Like talking at the same time as writing on the board. Or shouting, "Phoebe!" It's frustrating, I wish I could tell them how I feel, but I can't because I would get in trouble. So, it's just frustrating, putting up with it all the time.

Chrissie: It feels oppressive. I want to do something, but I can't because I must stay in school... I can't say anything because I want to stay. I don't want to get into trouble, so I can't say anything. It's difficult.

Sometimes, in the end, the children and their families make the decision to move to a different school, as Dominic told me:

I need my education. And friends. But I need to improve my education. Yes, friends are important, but learning and education are more important.

## Hearing Aids, Cochlear Implants, Speaking and Listening

The children, with one or two exceptions, have strong views on cochlear implants. This generation of deaf children are seeing more and more of their peers growing up with implants. They are also witness to younger and younger children coming into their schools, having been implanted at a very early age. This impacts not only on their social group, but also on their education, as Hadi explained to me:

In my class, there are four children with implants... so it means it's harder to me to understand the lessons.

What did he mean? That it made him not understand?

Because most children in Britain now have implants, and it means that parents want the school to teach their children how to speak. And so, in my class, there are three children with hearing aids, and four with implants, and they have to or want spoken language.

And:

And when the teacher is talking, I have to peer at her, because I don't understand what she is saying. And all the children with implants all have their hands up, "I know! I know!" because they mostly get what she is saying quicker than me, I don't understand her... so that's how.

Is this a common experience?

Michelle: Monday morning, we have to check our radio aids and hearing aids, I hate it. It's like an oral school, have to use radio aids, not being allowed to sign. That's like an oral school. But this is not an oral school!

Edwin: I can't hear! I'm deaf! Wearing hearing aids and radio aids, aargh, it's so uncomfortable.

Chrissie: My class had a speech therapist last year, it's better this year, she picks the children, and not me any more, phew. But last year it was the whole class, and she helped us with lip-patterns, maybe if your lip-pattern was too big she would help you to make a nice lip-pattern, she would help us with that, so not speech, this year is much better. Last year was awful, she would come into the class and say, "Watch me now!" and, "Don't look over there!". And if that came back, I would refuse (pulls face and laughs).

Edwin: The lady comes into the class and we all sit there in a semicircle with the teacher, and she talks, and sometimes the teacher leaves... and we do things like try to say 's' and it's really hard, holding your throat, like 's', 't', and we take it in turns to go round the class, or maybe she says a word and we have to write it down then she marks it... I hate feeling pressured to speak. I want to sign, but we have to learn to use our voice. But, I can use my voice, I just don't want to. She is always saying, "Try to speak!" I can speak, it just annoys me.

Michelle told me that she is aware of her voice; she makes choices about when and how she uses it. It is feeling that she is being 'forced' to use it that makes her upset:

Hearing teachers force me to use my voice... I don't want to, I get really fed up. I mean, sometimes I do use my voice in school, but naturally. When I'm with deaf, I switch it off, but sometimes with hearing, like if my Mum and Dad don't understand me, I will use my voice. But in school, it's pressure to use your voice. Sometimes I try to tell them it's broken, but they don't believe me. Why should we use our voice in a Deaf School? Why are they always checking our voice? What's the point?

Hadi identifies the difference between natural and forced use of voice, linking the former with deaf interaction and the latter with hearing teaching:

When the hearing teacher makes me use my voice I feel stupid... but in BSL, with Zoe, we laugh, and it's natural. But the teacher, always asking if we've got our hearing aids switched on and working. "Use your voice, use your voice", I get really fed up with that.

While it appears that the children with cochlear implants 'do well' in lessons, Chrissie has concerns for them:

I feel, well, they can hear, and it's their choice to have an implant, but I prefer hearing aids. And I don't feel sorry for them, they're lucky they can get so much hearing, but personally, I don't like implants, I like hearing aids, the simple way. But children with implants, it's easy for them to learn quickly, to pick things up. Me, I prefer a more slower, relaxed way of learning. Any maybe they learn things quickly, but forget them again. Hearing aids are simple for me.

It is her understanding that deaf children who use hearing aids as opposed to having a cochlear implant have different ways of learning:

There are different ways of learning, if you've got hearing aids or an implant, it's just different ways.

In fact, Chrissie has an awful lot to say about cochlear implants. She observes other children in her school, their behaviour, their performance in class, and what they say. She told me:

So many children with implants now. There's one boy in my class who's had the operation three times. The first time he had a tiny scar, then the next time it got bigger and then really big... and he had to fix his hair to cover it up. I do feel a bit sorry for them. But they don't all hate implants. Lots of them don't like them, but they have to use them because their parents make them. And some accept them, but most of them don't like the wires. But there's one boy in my class who only has behind the ear, just the magnet, that's all, no wires. And one girl, she really hates the way the box bumps around on her belt, she gets really fed up, she hates that. And one boy, he had a brand new one, but he broke it, he was angry with the teacher and he threw it on the ground outside, he really hated it, he was angry and crying. It was awful.

## Community and Future

The deaf children I worked with are very aware that the Deaf Community is small, and that there are far more hearing people in the world than there are deaf. When we talked about this, there was a strong desire to be near deaf people.

Chrissie: Well the hearing world is really big, and the deaf world is small, there are hearing people all over the world, so deaf people need to pull together... I think the deaf world is small, but there are lots of deaf in Wolverhampton, so maybe we should all move there! And have lots of famous deaf things like courses and schools, all at Wolverhampton!

In addition to the knowledge that deaf numbers are few compared to hearing, Chrissie is worried about the future of her Deaf Community:

It feels to me like lots of deaf people are disappearing, leaving, going to University, going blind, getting ill, dying, in my view the Deaf Community will get smaller and smaller, because so many are dying or going blind or suddenly getting ill.

Edwin wondered, if this pattern continued, then:

And maybe if this continues, more and more hearing people, then deaf people will be wiped out!

The children have a very strong sense of those younger deaf children who are following behind them. However, they have concerns, based on their own experiences, and on what they see happening around them.

Kimberley: I worry about deaf babies, because they need good education for their future, so they can get a job, so I worry about deaf babies... and their parents who have to look for the right school, who don't want to send them to an oral school, and the pressure for babies to be oral, even if their parents want them to sign... it's really difficult, because parents are hearing, and their other children are hearing, and they don't realise their baby is deaf, they've never even heard of it before, and then suddenly, they go into shock, by baby is deaf, what does that mean? Come on, tell me what this means? And the doctor tells them it means they can't hear, but that's all, it's just one thing, but for the parents, "They can't hear?" it's a total shock. And the baby looks like a normal hearing baby, only they can't hear, that's all. But they're lucky, they have eyes, they can take in the world, they're lucky. But, hold on, parents do panic because they think their baby is the only deaf baby, that they won't have any friends. It's not fair, and they don't feel confident. They should be told, it's OK, there is a Deaf Community... what a waste! Be patient, do some research, ask friends, ask other parents of deaf children if their child is OK, and find out where the school is. Don't just stick hearing aids on them and make sure they don't sign and send them to an oral school. There are deaf people out there, your child is not the only deaf one. There are deaf people out there, let your child grown up in a Deaf School. Some parents panic, and it's not their fault, because they don't know about deaf. When I was born a deaf baby, I think there was a genetic link in my family, a deaf gene. And my mum accepted it. And she wanted to find out more, how to get on with things. When she realised I was deaf she heard about the Deaf School and she decided to give me to the Deaf School to grow up there (smiles).

In terms of their own futures, and education in particular, the children have identified a huge problem.

Phoebe: I can't believe I will be leaving school in two years time. It seems really close now, and I need to start thinking about my future. There is so little choice. It's really difficult.

Michelle: More and more places are closing down, like Derby College. If they close them all down, I will set up a campaign and fight, and punch them (laughs).

Ben: Schools are closing down as well. There is so little choice and I heard a rumour that another college is about to close. We have less and less choice, and we need to tell the Government, we need them to see what's happening for us. It's just not fair. Hearing have plenty of options, but not deaf.

Natasha: There were far more schools before, and we had more choice, but that is less now, there are only a few places left around the country. And it's the same for Deaf Colleges too, signing colleges, there are less of those. And the people who wanted to go to Derby, well that's closed too now, so there's only Mary Hare, but that's oral.

As we saw earlier, some of the children are very aware that more and more deaf children are being given cochlear implants. In addition to the effect this has on deaf children's education, there are other implications, linked to health, and to the Deaf Community.

Michelle: I disagree with implants, I don't think they're a good idea. And if you sign, perhaps an implant may damage the brain, so it's not appropriate. I would never have an implant, for me, hearing aids are enough. I wouldn't want an implant there in my head all the time, with the wires and the box. I think it's a stupid idea!

Hadi: I think if I had an implant it might cause some brain damage later on, or maybe the scar would cause damage, so I think hearing aids are better, easier.

Chrissie: I do feel sorry for children with implants because you don't know what their future will be. I think everyone should have hearing aids. But, it's their choice. And I would never laugh at them with my friends, no. I do feel a bit sorry for them but they're still my friends. And lots of them say they want their implants out when they're 16, and I just say nothing. So yes, take it out when you're 16, but you've had it all the time in school, from 3-16, what a waste of your life with an implant, stuck in your head. It would be better just to take it out, have a better life. I think there should be fewer implants, children need them taken out. But now they're implanting babies... that's really stupid.

# III Future-what?

Each child conveyed a strong sense of future (whether they feel able to imagine it or not), be it their own personal journey with family and friends, or possible deaf futures.

## Magic Wand

I asked all the children, if they could wave a magic wand, what would they change? Responses in the main concerned their schools, and the small numbers of deaf children and deaf educators.

Chrissie: What would I change? I would have more deaf teachers, more deaf people, and more deaf friends here. I don't think it's right that so many children have implants and are sent to mainstream school. They should build a new Deaf School, for more deaf children, so that Natasha, Chloe, Freya, Reggie, they could all come back, and we could be a bigger group.

Kumar: I would bring in more deaf teachers. And some hearing teachers if they wanted, and I would definitely bring in more deaf children, so we could be in a bigger group.

Kimberley: Everything deaf! Flashing alarms, everyone signing, no speaking, hearing aids off, radio aids off, voices off, operations to have your voice taken out, more deaf teachers, throw out hearing teachers, a deaf Headteacher. Finished (bursts out laughing).

Hadi: A school where everyone is deaf. I would love that! And deaf teachers. But some hearing teachers, as long as their signing was good.

Dominic desires a bigger space:

I wish I could make the school bigger. This one is too small. I want a bigger school where I don't feel squashed. If it was bigger there would be more space, and more freedom to move about. Here I feel we're just going round and round in the same small space.

When we returned to this, he told me:

I feel at the moment that hearing people are trying to squash me. Not my parents, they support me, they sign, but school. In school I feel squashed.

In terms of their education as it currently stands:

Michelle: I would like hearing teachers to be more aware of deaf rights, like for us to be able to ask them to repeat what they tell us. Some teachers ignore that, they won't repeat things, they just want to rush through the work.

Aside from their local areas, the children also thought about the national situation for deaf children. With Deaf Schools and Deaf Colleges closing, the bigger picture is grim.

Kimberley: I don't think it's fair, we need lots more things, for the deaf people who live here. We need a new school for all of them, it doesn't matter where they live, that's more fair.

The scarcity of Deaf Schools will have an impact on their Deaf Community.

Natasha: It shouldn't matter that there are only small numbers of deaf, there should be local schools all over the country so that deaf children can go to wherever they want. They should set up more schools all over the country. Like you said, there used to be lots more Deaf Schools, but now there are less and less because they're all closing down. So the council should pay for more schools. But they say they can't afford it, they say they don't have enough money and so they have to close schools. And because there aren't very many deaf children, they have to close the schools. And so deaf children have to go to oral hearing schools instead, and it's really difficult for them and it's not fair.

## Deaf and Hearing

Aside from the very real, concrete idea of bigger Deaf Schools, more space, and more friends, the children also talked about the need for greater understanding between deaf and hearing people, and of respect. As Natasha illustrates:

I wish hearing people would stop and think, and try to understand how deaf people feel, because usually they can't be bothered, or they bully deaf, and there are so many hearing people in the world. But they never stop to think what it's like, how we feel. And if they could go back and realise what it's like, but they don't have enough awareness... I mean some do, but most hearing people around the world don't know about deaf people. For example, a hearing person is talking to me and I say, "Sorry, I'm deaf" and they carry on speaking to me! I'M DEAF! So maybe I'll ask them for some paper to write things down, and they look at me and say, "What?" and so I have to sign really slowly, "Do you have a piece of paper?" so we can communicate in writing, with pen and paper. There are hearing people who have never met a deaf person before. "Do you have any paper?" "What?" "PAPER!" and finally they get it! (laughs).

## Politics

There is also a sense of the children's political awareness, albeit to varying degrees, depending on age, exposure to debate, and involvement in deaf events. Whatever the level of comprehension, the children use these kind of arguments as an outlet for some of their frustrations, particularly those linked to their education.

Dominic: Well, they had the BSL marches in London, and BSL has now been recognised, but we need more to happen, there's lots more we need to achieve, much more, we need to keep fighting for things to improve.

Michelle has her finger on the pulse:

I know, I think the Government is so stupid, come on... I know that they have recognised BSL, but there was no big announcement, so yes it was recognised, but most hearing people had no idea, it should have been on TV, in the newspapers, on the radio.

So, what would happen, if they had the power to change things? Rather than list the changes she would make, Kimberley talked about the impact of her leadership:

Well, if I could take the place of Tony Blair (Prime Minister at the time), I would try to make a path through all the hearing people, and change things so that deaf things would get funded, so hearing people would have to make way more for deaf people, there would be more equality, and more respect for deaf people. No more bullying, only respect. And I would make them understand me, and respect me. And we would improve the future for deaf people, to gain acceptance, and not be brushed to one side. I mean, what's that about? So, if I replaced Tony Blair, I would prove to him, he would take notice and see that I was getting things moving and then he would think, "She's doing a better job than me!" I would prove it to him! (laughs).

I wondered what Phoebe's perspective was, as one of the oldest of the children, who has been involved in deaf political events for several years. We were talking about the recent history of deaf demonstrations, activism, profile raising and demands for equal rights for deaf people. Was this something she intended to remain involved in? Was it something that she felt could succeed?

Well that depends on whether deaf people are still strong, or if they have given up fighting. But if hearing people still behave oppressively, then we will go underground. We will stay strong. Like before, when hearing people banned sign language, we carried on signing, and we still do. So I think we will carry on fighting, we need to carry on. Yes, the first step was BSL recognition, but that's not the end of it. We need more in terms of our education, interpreter provision, more funding. No way is £1m enough. I mean, how many deaf people are there in England? It's not enough money. It's like giving out pennies to each of us. That's not going to help is it? We should draw up a list of all our needs. It's not just about the money, it's about our needs. And the Government is responsible for looking after people. Well, we're people too!

Kumar was keen to point out:

Deaf people are not happy about the way some hearing people look down on us, and slowly, deaf are getting more equality, but I don't know why hearing sneer at us. There's only one thing we can't do, and that's hear. That's all. It's not a problem. And hearing people can't sign, so we're the same. I can't speak, and hearing can't sign. Same thing! (smiles).

Inequality, or rather, improving the situation for deaf people so that they can become, or been seen as, equal to hearing people gave rise to some of the most animated outbursts of all our interviews. If only hearing people really, really knew what it was like.

Natasha: I'm not having a go at all hearing people, but those who bully deaf people, I wish they would stop and think, like imagine when they were younger, if they bullied a deaf person, then later, when they grew up they themselves had a deaf baby. How would they feel? Maybe they would realise that it's wrong to bully someone because they can't hear. Or maybe a hearing person suddenly goes deaf, but that person had bullied deaf people because they couldn't hear! Imagine bullying someone because they signed. Deaf people sign, hearing people speak, that's it. Or imagine if deaf people bullied hearing people! How would that feel? I wish sometimes that hearing people could swap places with us, so they would realise. And then swap back again. Make them realise what it's like.

Can they imagine a better deaf education future?

Kumar: In the future, I think things will improve for deaf people. I think there will be big changes. Like hearing teachers who are able to explain things in sign, the same way as deaf, so that deaf children are able to understand, and get on with their work straightaway. So, when teachers are talking to hearing children, teachers will also sign to deaf children, it will be equal, so deaf children can understand what their teacher is teaching them. I wish that would happen. So we won't need to use interpreters, I wish we didn't need to use interpreters.

##  Communication

In terms of growing up and living as a deaf person in a world where hearing people are the majority, the children often reveal a pragmatic, philosophical outlook. Chrissie knows she needs to have good English skills, and is prepared for that. She still gets frustrated, yet allows herself to feel sorry for hearing people who can't communicate with deaf people:

Speech therapy is important, in terms of my future, and how to communicate with hearing people. That's for hearing people who don't learn to sign. But I hope in the future everyone will learn to sign. But normally, I can lipread if it's just one person. But if it's a group, I can't. I try to lipread, like in a shop, I know when they are saying, "What do you want?", that's fine, I can lipread that OK. But I can't understand when they speak really quickly. So I ask for paper and write things down. Like, "I'm deaf" and, "Do you know what that means?" and if they say no, I write, "Well, you should learn what it means!" and make them feel a bit embarrassed! (laughs).

A common desire is for a future where hearing people have made the effort to learn to sign.

Kimberley: I think hearing people should learn to sign, and I wish my hearing friends would. Because it's not my fault I'm deaf. And there are so many hearing people, and they all speak and there aren't many deaf people, but that's not my fault. So it's hard. I wish hearing people could sign too, they need to learn. But I do understand that it's hard to learn, and that puts people off, and so that's not their fault, so I just have to accept that.

Hadi: Well I think hearing people should learn to sign. Deaf people have rights. And they can feel cut off if they can't lipread, so really, hearing people should learn to sign.

## Travel the World

I asked the children what their dreams for the future were. They want to travel the world. When I asked why, they all replied that it was to meet more deaf people, to learn about their cultures and languages. While this might be difficult, or scary, the travel bug appears to stem from a wish to establish their place as members of a global deaf community.

Ben: I would like to travel the world and find out about all sorts of different people. Their culture, what it's like growing up. And I would tell them about my life in England, and they could tell me about their lives. And I know I might feel a bit nervous, but I just have to screw up my confidence and go for it. And if I just stayed at home, I would regret not going, travelling, and it would be such a waste. So I would like to try, and then, when I got home, I could tick it off my list of things I want to do. That's what I want!

Dominic: Yes, I want to travel the world and meet deaf people. I want to learn about their different sign languages and different cultures, different numbers, whether they use one-handed or two-handed fingerspelling, what facial expressions do they use. I want to learn about that, and try to communicate and make friends, it would be so nice to ask them about their lives, to learn about that.

Chrissie: I would like to have more deaf friendships so I can find out more about deaf people's lives, like deaf in Ireland, what is their sign language like? And so meeting people and getting to know them and building a bond. I hope when I am 13 or 14 I will be allowed to travel on my own. I hope my mum will let me do that, that's my dream. I want to travel the world. I would like to find out more about deaf people.

Michelle: I would like to go to deaf bars, we could all go out together, or go to deaf camp, or different deaf groups, Deaf Clubs, have a good look at the deaf world, and find out more about different deaf people, different sign languages.

Kimberley: Yes, that would be fantastic, to meet more deaf people. And there would be an instant bond, even if their signing is different, it would be amazing, and I could be really nosey and learn so many different things about languages, cultures, writing, vocabulary, like when you write, "Hey" in English, how do you write that in other languages. Different writing too, that's interesting.

One of the most moving dreams regarding the deaf global passport came from Natasha. She saw her world travel not only as a way of making more friends, and of learning more about deaf people, but also:

So you can ask them about their past and that would help me understand more about their culture, and I could write it all down and explain it to other deaf children, tell them about other deaf people's past, like they are the same as us, but maybe they use different signs, or maybe they have lip-patterns the same as we do, or some don't have lip-patterns, but we can learn to communicate with them and I can teach that to other deaf children.

## Deaf: What-for?

My final question to all the children in our interviews was a difficult one to ask, and perhaps harder to answer. Some of them found it almost impossible to contemplate. Some, however had lots to say. I asked, "Why are there deaf people in the world? Deaf: what-for?" This is what they told me.

Hadi: There are deaf people because deaf people need deaf people. They need different things, they have a different life. They live in the world their way.

Dominic: I think it just happens, deaf people are born. I don't know why that is.

Could they imagine alternative worlds? All deaf? All hearing? Natasha saw no reason to regard hearing as better, but saw practical reasons why deaf and hearing should live together:

I think the world needs deaf and hearing. I don't like the idea that the world would be perfect if it was only hearing. I think the world should have deaf as well. But, a world without hearing people? That's difficult. I know that deaf is brilliant, but what about other things, like needing to know things, like hearing people can hear information, about disasters, but how would deaf people get to know about that? I know deaf people can feel, but they can't hear.

Similarly for Chrissie, who briefly contemplated the notion of a deaf-only world:

If the world was deaf only I think I would be happy, if everyone was deaf, and I could meet them, but sometimes I do need the hearing world too. So I think it's better for a mixture of deaf and hearing. But, there are lots of hearing people and a small number of deaf, so I would like to see more deaf people, more spread out over the world, and I agree with my friend, I think she's right, that deaf people can be together, through sign, but sometimes I need hearing people for things like reading, or maybe if I wanted to travel from England to Egypt, I think I would need hearing people if I got stuck and didn't know what to do (smiles).

The consensus was that the world needs both deaf and hearing people in it. Rather than deaf people needing hearing people, though, Michelle saw deaf people as enriching the lives of hearing people:

I think we need both, deaf and hearing. If there were no deaf people it would be really boring... hearing people just talking all the time would be so boring, but then suddenly a deaf person arrives signing, hearing people will think, "Oh that's different, oh we can learn to sign!" It's the same as a Chinese person, they have a different culture, lots of different things make the world a more interesting place. If there were no deaf people, no Deaf Culture, just hearing, it would be very boring.

And for Kumar:

Both deaf and hearing means people are interested and want to know more about deaf. And deaf people can have friendships with hearing, because deaf people can't hear, but that's all. It's simple, you can still be friends. Can't hear, but can be friends. Wow! (smiles).

Michelle clearly enjoyed entertaining the idea of a deaf nation, or a deaf half of the world. As she let her imagination run wild:

Well maybe all deaf people could live together in one country, like, say everyone in Britain was deaf, and then all the hearing people moved over to another country. So maybe the world could be half-and-half. A deaf half and a hearing half. Simple! But, how can you saw the world in half? It would fall apart!

I was astonished at the unwitting depth of Michelle's ideas. I picked up on it the next time I saw her, and asked her if she could expand. Very matter-of-factly, she explained:

I mean the two halves would fall apart and we would die because there would be no air for us to breathe. But also, I would be cut off from my hearing family. I would be on my own, the only deaf person in my family. And no friends, no-one to support me. So if the two worlds came together, I would have my family to support me. But not a deaf half and a hearing half, but a mixture of two worlds.

Based on some of the things the children had talked about earlier concerning their fears for the future of the Deaf Community, I wondered if they could contemplate a world in which there were no deaf people left. For Kimberley, this was a very personal, individual problem:

I would panic, I wish I'd learned to lipread more. Get someone to teach me quickly before a hearing person speaks to me, cos I wouldn't understand, so I would definitely need to learn to lipread. And if I was the only deaf person and all the hearing people were talking, they would be so lucky, they would be able to talk to anyone they wanted to. They would be able to go into any shop and buy what they wanted. But I would... um... have to just point at things, or mime and hearing people would be shocked and I would be so embarrassed.

Chrissie did not want to talk about a hearing-only world:

I feel... no thank you (looks away).

Natasha was keen to illustrate why this would be a bad idea:

I don't want to turn into a hearing person. I'm happy deaf. If I wasn't deaf, I wouldn't know you, and I won't know my friends. And I won't know the small deaf world. If I was hearing I would probably just stay here all the time and I would probably have lots of friends, but because I am deaf it means I can travel the world and stay with deaf friends all over the world. I know hearing people can do this, but they don't have the same bond. Deaf people can bond with deaf people they haven't met before and have lots of things they can do. Hearing people don't have much to do, they can only go on holiday, but deaf people can go to London and go on BSL Marches, lots of different things like that. So I think there should be deaf and hearing people in the world. Hearing people talk and deaf people sign. And there are different sign languages and facial expressions and drama and poetry. But hearing people just do the same thing all the time and the world would be a very boring place. There should be deaf people too (smiles).

And, as Phoebe pointed out:

The world has so many different cultures, and that includes Deaf Cultures. So there are different countries and different foods, different cultures, different music, different dances, different languages, different clothes, different ways of life... and it's the same with deaf. It's just different. If there were no deaf people? I think the world would be a very boring place. That's what I think (smiles).

# Afterword

## Seeing through new eyes

'SEEING Through New Eyes: Deaf People's Contribution to Human Self-Knowledge' was a two-year ethnographic project at the University of Bristol and funded by the Leverhulme Trust, with a primary research question: "How can knowing and seeing the world through the eyes of deaf sign-language-using people contribute to, inform and enrich our understanding of ourselves as human beings?" The principle investigator, Dr Paddy Ladd, posited that without such understanding, we cannot claim full knowledge of what it means to be human. The research was centred on deaf people as visual, tactile beings who can communicate easily with each other across the globe. In so doing, deaf people, or People of the Eye (Veditz, 1910) set a positive and inspiring example for hearing humankind.

This being a vast and relatively unexplored area of inquiry, the research focused on how young deaf children socialise, learn and grow up in relation to their families, their friends, and in particular to their deaf educators. Participant observation was carried out in Deaf Clubs and Deaf Schools. At the same time, individual interviews, group interviews, two focus groups, and a national meeting of deaf-education professionals were held. Two groups became the key focus: sign-language-using deaf children, and their deaf educators. The research considered the existence, recognition and survival of visual and tactile ways of seeing and knowing the world, and of transmitting those ways to future deaf generations. Similar ideas and beliefs have been found in other countries and through other studies with deaf educators (e.g., Goncalves, 2009), hinting at tantilising links between Deaf Communities around the world.

## Children's Voices

The research work with deaf children was guided by the principle that children be granted autonomy as research collaborators. Such a principle resists more traditional, sociological and psychological constructs of childhood which view children as 'incomplete adults', and which have a tendency to elicit views on childhood from adults, rather than from children themselves (Christensen & James, 2008). In respecting the contributions that children can and should make to research about their lives, the work described here echoes the assertion that childhood be "placed squarely within the realm of the culturally located and thus humanly constituted" (Jenks, 2008:68). Children are understood as engaging with, and actively making sense of, the world and their place in it, and are given the freedom to express that sense-making in and on their own terms (West, 2012). In terms of existing research with deaf children at the time, much of the literature explored issues such as self-esteem (Jambor & Elliot, 2005), psychological development (Marschark, 1993), Theory of Mind (Woolfe et al, 2002) and children's 'inner lives' (Sheridan, 2001). A conscious decision was made to recognise deaf children's culturally located and constructed knowledge and to record their previously unheard voices and perceptions by inviting ten deaf children to tell their stories of school, family, friends and the future, so that those stories might be set down, and told to others. I viewed them as collaborators in the telling and writing of their stories.

##  Collaboration

A collaborative way of researching is perhaps easier done than said (Clandinin & Connelley, 2000). That is to say, collaborative research work with deaf children is complex, challenging, hilarious, enlightening, humbling and rewarding, but trying to describe the collaboration in words is a daunting task worthy of a bigger publication. For now, I would like to outline a few important issues that helped us all to work together, from the first day at Deaf Club, to the last home visit. I explained to all the children that I didn't actually have a specific set of questions to ask them. I told them about the wider project and asked them to let me know what they thought about this. They offered suggestions for the kinds of things we should talk about. They also discussed how, where and when to have filmed conversations, and whether it should be one-to-one, or could be done in pairs. When we did meet, we worked together to structure how the 'interview' would go, and more often than not, I was the subject of intense scrutiny, curiosity and downright nosiness.

The children wanted copies of the tapes as well as the transcripts, so that they could check I had done a 'good job'. We would also meet later to discuss the (inevitable, countless) errors I made when transcribing their signs, and towards the end of the project, we had conversations about the politics of representing deaf children's signs in (a hearing adult's) words. They also acted as advisors when it came to selecting, planning and writing their collective story. I carry my hearing, English-first-language, ex-teacher identities with me wherever I go. I could let these identities get in the way: trip me up, tie my hands, criticise my intentions, convince me to give up and do something else more appropriate. I chose instead to foreground them, to acknowledge them, to work them into the research process. This was the only way I knew how. I do not for a second doubt that a deaf researcher with BSL as their first language would have done a slicker job, would have known so much better what the children were saying, feeling, remembering and imagining, would have had so many examples to share, would have gathered so many more moments of shared knowledge and understanding. I believe, however, that the children respected my transparency, my hearingness, my efforts.

## Writing, Transcription, Representation

One of the most rewarding, enjoyable and enlightening parts of the work I did with the children was meeting with them to discuss how to write their story. We spent hours poring over transcripts, playing back the tapes, discussing the pros and cons of translation, as well as some of the more political implications of a hearing person's translation of deaf children's signing. Once or twice, parents joined us for these conversations and found them fascinating. Natasha's mother told me she had no idea how complicated it all was, and how captivated she was by her daughter's perspective on how to translate from BSL to English. Perhaps the most exciting thing for me was the way the children clearly took ownership of their contributions, and instructed me on how to write them. We debated whether to translate fully from BSL to English, or to follow the order and patterns of their signs. One of the difficulties of the latter is the risk that the children appear stupid or illiterate in the text. Here, in this book, you find translations that retain some of the structure of the original BSL, in the hope that the children's voices are somehow recognisable to all, deaf, hearing, adult, child. Any mistakes are solely mine.

## Deaf Children's Wisdom

I wrote this Afterword in 2007, two years after the completion of the project. An early draft of this book developed and grew over several months, but it was only as I wrote these concluding paragraphs that I was able to revisit the children's stories and look back on them with respect, fondness and a sense of privilege that I had been given this work to do. What struck me most were the processes evident in how children make sense of the world around them.

Deaf educators play a significant role in deaf children's lives: for many children, they are their sole contact with sign language, and with the adult deaf world. That is not the case, however, for these children, who all come from bi- or tri-cultural, and bi- or tri-lingual homes. However, deaf adult influence is still very evident; in the things these children talk about, and how they talk about them. The children also spend a great deal of time with each other. They go to school together, Deaf Club together, they go on holiday together and see each other at weekends. They swap stories and ideas, and this emerges in their conversations with me. One of the nicest parts of working with them was the way that many of them wanted me to meet them in pairs at first. Ideas bounced between them as stories and conversations took off in all sorts of directions.

Later, I visited them each again, on their own. This provided the space for them to reflect on what they had said last time, and how they wished to re-tell, re-frame or offer new stories. Once or twice, a parent, on reading a summary of a conversation, remarked, almost in disbelief, "But he would never say that!" This highlights for me very clearly the way that children do talk about things, and to whom they say these things. They see adults talking, they watch Eastenders at Deaf Club, they ask all sorts of searching and at times very indiscreet questions of their deaf educators at lunchtimes or on the playground, and they offer this information to their friends, as part of their sense-making processes. Elsewhere, this has been referred to as interpretive reproduction (West, 2002) where children are not simply passive receivers of cultural information and practice but active participants who, through making choices, interpret and contribute to cultural reproduction (Corsaro & Molinari, 2008).

Looking back over these chapters now, I can see differently not only the coherence but also the inconsistencies, gaps and contradictions in what the children told me. How unthinkable it would be for a group of smart, funny, articulate, reflective children to tell me boring, tight, regular, chronological stories. How much more enlightening to dip into a different take on life, a snapshot of what was going on a few years back—in terms of school, of community, of friendships, of negotiating a deaf/hearing world, of being loved and supported by parents and siblings, of growing up deaf—and to treasure it for what it is: a collection of stories of young deaf children's wisdom.

# Bibliography

Christensen, P., & James, A. (2008). (Eds.) Research With Children: Perspectives And Practices (2nd ed.) London: Routledge.

Clandinin, D. J., & Connelly, F. M. (2000). Narrative Inquiry: Experience And Story In Qualitative Research. San Francisco, CA: Jossey Bass.

Corsaro, W. A., & Molinari, L. (2008). Entering And Observing In Children's Worlds. In P. Christensen & A. James (Eds.) Research With Children: Perspectives And Practices (2nd ed.) London: Routledge.

Goncalves, J. (2009). The Linguistic And Cultural Challenge Within Deaf Schools In The South Of Brazil: Deaf And Hearing Working Together And The Birth Of Cultural Pedagogies. Unpublished PhD thesis, University of Bristol, Bristol.

Jambor, E., & Elliott, M. (2005). Self-Esteem And Coping Strategies Among Deaf Students. The Journal Of Deaf Studies And Deaf Education 10(1) 63-81.

Jenks, C. (2008). Zeitgeist Research On Children. In P. Christensen & A. James (Eds.) Research With Children: Perspectives And Practices (2nd ed.) London: Routledge.

Marschark, M. (1993). Psychological Development Of Deaf Children. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Sheridan, M. (2001). Inner Lives Of Deaf Children: Interviews And Analysis. Washington, DC: Gallaudet University Press.

Veditz, G. (1910). President's Message. Paper presented at the Ninth Convention of the National Association of the Deaf, Philadelphia: Philocophus Press (1912).

West, D. (2002). "Here Forever": The Importance Of Ethnographic Research In The Search For An Understanding Of Deaf Children's Identity Development. Unpublished MSc dissertation, University of Bristol, Bristol.

West, D. (2012). Signs of Hope: Deafhearing Family Life. Newcastle-upon-Tyne: Cambridge Scholars Publishing.

Woolfe, T., Want, S., & Siegal, M. (2002). Signposts To Development: Theory Of Mind In Deaf Children. Child Development 73 768-778.

# About the Author

Donna West is a BSL/English interpreter, who, in a former life, worked as a Teacher of Deaf Children before going back to University for a Master's degree in Deaf Studies. This love of studying culminated in a  PhD in Education/Deaf Studies.html). Three years later, her thesis was turned into a book, Signs of Hope: Deafhearing Family Life, published by Cambridge Scholars Publishing.
