-Hi, everybody.
Welcome to another edition
of "The Tonight Show"
At-Home Edition.
Today is Tuesday.
And, um, we're just
kind of in this now.
So I hope everyone
is getting in a routine
and kind of getting their life
kind of to a schedule, a rhythm.
Yesterday
it was just rainy here,
so any little ray of sun,
I'm going to take it
and just sit in the backyard
and do a television show,
just like everyone should do.
I just want to be here
for you guys,
'cause you've always
been there for me.
So I appreciate it, guys.
We have a fun show tonight.
He has a movie
called "The Quarry."
It's out on demand on Friday.
Michael Shannon is here.
The very fun, the very odd
Michael Shannon.
He's great tonight.
Oh, my gosh.
Also, my friend J.J. Watt
is on the show, as well,
and I'm going to play
"Know Your Bro"
with his brothers --
some family trivia
about his brothers,
who are all playing in the NFL.
Pretty good family. Huh?
That's pretty awesome.
And then to close it out,
one of my super favorites.
Remember she almost
hopped our fence once?
Rita Ora is on the show tonight.
-[ Laughs ] So cool.
-Yeah.
So I'll be talking -- Well,
I won't be talking to Rita.
She'll be performing a new song
off her upcoming album.
I should say Michael Shannon's
charity is earthday.org.
This says --
Feeding America is J.J. Watt.
And covid19responsefund.org
is Rita Ora.
Uh, let's try to make you laugh,
and let's have a good show.
It's time for the monologue!
♪♪
All right.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show."
I'm Jimmy Fallon.
Well, guys, earlier today,
former President Obama
endorsed Joe Biden
for president.
Obama said he knew Biden
was the right candidate
once he was absolutely sure
Michelle wasn't running.
You can tell the endorsement
meant a lot to Biden.
Right after, he was like,
"I know you guys really love me
because I only had to ask
every day for two years."
I like how Obama
endorsed Biden now.
That's like waiting
until there's one second left
in the Super Bowl
and then saying,
"Okay, I'm rooting
for the Chiefs.
Okay? Just for the record."
This isn't good --
Healthy Choice recalled
over 130,000 pounds
of frozen chicken meals
after customers
found small rocks mixed in.
Americans were like,
"We make one healthy choice
in five weeks,
and this is what happens?
We're eating rocks?"
Let me tell you guys something.
With this toilet-paper shortage,
this is not a good time
to have rocks in your system.
People who ate Healthy Choice
meals filled with rocks
knew something was up when their
toilet looked like a fish tank.
[ Chuckles ]
Burger King just introduced
a new sandwich
called the Roasted Garlic King,
which is a burger
with a thick garlic sauce.
Yeah. Burger King said,
"If this doesn't keep people
six feet away, nothing will."
During quarantine,
many Americans are watching
old hit TV series like
"The Wire" and "Breaking Bad."
Mostly to finally shut up
that annoying friend
who's always like,
"You've never seen 'The Wire'?
Aw, bro.
You never seen 'The Wire'?
Aww. Bro.
'The Wire'?!
You never seen it?
Not the third episode?
Or the second one?
Or the first one?
'The wire'?"
I read that many brides-to-be
are now having
virtual bachelorette parties.
It starts with
some lemon-drop shots
and ends with virtually
everyone crying in the bathroom.
That's right --
brides-to-be are having
virtual bachelorette parties.
It's a lot of fun right up
until your friend Debbie
says something vaguely racist
to the virtual limo driver.
And finally,
here's an update on a story
we've been following
since it broke.
A 93-year-old Pennsylvania woman
who went viral
with her sign that said
"I need more beer"
received 150 beers
from Coors Light.
After getting the Coors Light,
the woman held up
a new sign that said,
"I said I need beer, not water."
[ Laughs ]
It was a nice moment
until an hour later
when she held up a sign
that said "out of beer again."
Hey, you got
a problem there, pal.
That's our monologue
right there.
Guys, we had a lot of fun with
#AskTheFallons
where you guys
are sending questions
that you'd like me to ask
my wife or my kids.
And so tonight I'm going to ask
a question from you guys
to my wife, who's very --
who's also operating my camera
and, really, producing
this -- my whole show.
I love you.
And she also turns the tables
and asks me a question
in this part of
"Ask the Fallons."
Enjoy.
♪♪
Here we go.
This is "Ask the Fallons."
#AskTheFallons.
I said it like I'm angry.
-[ Laughs ]
I think you might be.
-I'm not angry.
-Guess whose turn it is
to be interviewed.
-No. All right.
This one is from @jusouzdiaz.
"Jimmy, how did you
propose to Nancy?"
Well, we told this story,
I believe.
Well, we definitely have.
But I had the ring ready to go.
Weirdly, I had the ring
from Neil Lane.
Oh, sorry.
You're not even on the camera.
-[ Laughs ]
-Neil Lane,
who's now "Bachelor" famous.
I got the ring.
I remember I called your dad
for permission.
I asked him. He said, "Yes."
-Sweet.
-And I asked your brother,
as well.
-Aww! Jim.
-Yeah.
Or told him maybe.
Informed him
that I talked to your dad.
Why would I ask your brother?
-I don't know. Sweet, though.
-Yeah, I might have.
But your brother
was cool with it, too.
And then what happened was you
messed everything up for me.
-Yes.
-You get to the door,
and you go,
"I have a surprise for you."
And I go, "I hope it doesn't
mess up my surprise,"
which was the big thing.
I got the ring, I got the --
So, you go,
"I got us reservations
at Per Se,"
this amazing restaurant
in New York.
And I go, "Oh, my gosh."
I was dying to go to Per Se.
And I go, "Oh, my gosh.
This is a big deal.
I really do
have to go to Per Se."
But I didn't want to get engaged
at the restaurant.
I never wanted --
I was going to get engaged in,
like, Gramercy Park or something
that will just always be around,
something classic.
I don't want
to go to a restaurant
'cause what if in 30 years
the restaurant changes hands?
Now it's a laser-tag place.
Now it's like, "Kids,
this is where your mom and I
got engaged,
at the Laser Tag House,"
if they do have laser tag
in the future.
Anyway, so, I go,
"I'll do it after dinner."
I didn't mention it to you.
So, we went to dinner.
It was an amazing dinner. Right?
-Yeah.
-Cut to --
-It was a long, long dinner.
-Cut to -- I'm not kidding --
14 courses later.
-It was wild.
-And then we got home,
and your brother texted
or called and said, like,
"Did you do it, man?
What's up?"
I go, "No, man, our dinner was
like four hours or something."
He goes, "You got to do it.
Just go to Molly's or something.
And do it."
-God. Yes. Which --
We love Molly's.
-Yeah. And so I was like,
"Oh, all right.
Maybe I'll go to Molly's."
Hold on. I was in the bathroom.
I go, "Honey, you want to go out
and have one more drink?"
And you go, "Are you -- Really?
are you serious? I will."
You're like,
"I'm ready to, like, watch TV
and, like, go to bed."
-Yeah.
-So, that's what we did.
And then it wasn't for, like --
It was probably three months
later, six months later?
-It was I think longer
than your parents
and my parents wanted.
But, of course, yeah,
I wasn't thinking it was --
I don't know.
-It was probably -- Yeah.
It was probably --
Yeah, no, you didn't know.
-I just knew we were
going to be together.
It wasn't like we got to
get married or not get married.
-Anyways, like, I want
to say four months later
I was just trying to find
the right place to do it.
I know, I know, I know.
But I'm very, like, particular.
I got to make sure
it's the right spot.
-This is going to feed
into my question.
-Ooh.
-[ Laughs ]
-So, we get to --
Your family has a summer home
in New Hampshire.
In Wolfeboro, New Hampshire,
which we love.
Lake Winnipesaukee.
And I go to the dock with you.
Sunset.
-Mm-hmm.
-I go, "Honey, do you want
to have a cocktail
and maybe sunset?"
So, we get out.
I played Harry Nelson.
-Mm-hmm.
-And I said, okay, in my head,
"Don't cry. Let her cry first
if someone will cry."
-[ Laughs ]
-Because -- Well, because
I hyped it up in my head.
I get very emotional. I'm Irish.
Very emotional person.
-I love it.
-So, as soon as I even
remotely pulled the ring
out of my pocket...
[ Laughs ]
...I started crying.
-Yes.
-And I get down on one knee.
And I'm, like, shaking.
I'm like, "Wah, wah, wah."
My voice is, like, quivering.
Looks like
I'm having a heart attack.
And Nancy's like,
"Are you okay, dude?
Are you going to be all right?"
And then I just said,
"Hey, will you marry me?"
And you said, "Yes."
-And then the whole family
started cheering
from inside the house.
-Oh, they were all watching us.
-Yeah, and somewhere
my brother has this on tape.
But he said he wouldn't give it
to us for like 20 years.
-Oh, for real?
-So we're 15 into that.
We're going to get it
in, like, a few --
Yeah, like,
five or seven years now.
-Wow. I didn't know he taped it.
-Yeah.
-All right.
Let's switch positions.
And then you ask a question.
-Okay.
Here we go.
-Okay.
All right. Here we go.
Now, this is -- You're
going to ask me a question?
-Well, I was going to do
interview questions.
So, I just came up with a few.
But my first one was
going to be this easy one.
-Mm-hmm.
-And it's easy for a Virgo,
especially.
I was going to ask you
what only three of your
greatest pet peeves are.
Only three.
-[ Laughs ]
-That's more the challenge
than answering this question.
-I don't even know
if I have a pet peeve.
-Oh, really?
[ Both laugh ]
-What?
-Oh, my gosh.
-Well, I don't like soft cheese.
-Nope. Mnh-mnh.
-So, if someone --
-And almost anyone
even eating soft cheese
is sort of repellent
to you slightly.
-No, no, no.
I'm totally fine
with everyone doing
what they want,
glopping the stuff on the thing
and glopping it in their mouth.
-"Glopping and glopping."
Yeah.
That's just no judgment,
though, at all.
[ Laughs ] Okay. Next.
-All right. That's one.
That's not bad.
That's kind of understandable.
-Uh-huh.
-I think.
-All right.
-I can't think of any other
pet peeves right now.
-You have so many, but
I will just let that one ride.
So, who has been someone
incredibly influential
in your life?
-So many people. I don't know.
Lee. Lorne.
-Mm-hmm.
-I like those guys.
I don't know. I call them.
I mean, Lorne Michaels has kind
of seen -- He's seen it all.
But he's seen me
through the beginning
of my career through now.
-You've worked with him
since you were --
-23 is when I got
"Saturday Night Live."
I'm 45 now. So it's 22 years
of working together.
-Lorne Michaels.
-He's got great advice
about everything.
-He has great
anecdotal advice, too.
-Yeah. And he's --
But even, like, anything.
If I'm renting a car,
I would call Lorne
and say, "Hey, I don't know
what to do. I'm renting a car."
He's like,
"Oh, you want something quiet
and not too flashy.
Get a Lexus."
-"Get black."
-"Black."
Yeah. But then --
And then he gets it --
he's getting a new car,
and he goes, "Which one
do you think I should get?
The silver? Or the bl--"
I go, "Really, James Bond?
You want to drive around
in a silver car
so everyone knows
where you are?"
-He is kind of James Bond-y.
-He's like, "I know. I know."
It's his own advice.
-Yeah.
-But there's been
so many people.
-Yeah.
-He's -- Lorne's been great.
My grandparents
were really great to me.
My grandma and my grandpa.
That was like --
I used to go over there
after school every single day,
and I just really hung out
with them.
They really helped raise me.
-And by "over there," you mean?
-They lived in my backyard.
-Mm-hmm. [ Laughs ]
A cute little house
behind your cute little house
up in Saugerties.
-In Saugerties, New York.
They lived in our --
Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
-It wasn't even, like,
a different address.
-No, no.
-Was it weird?
-No, I love it.
-My grandparents
lived in our backyard.
In a house. A cottage.
-Yeah.
-So they used to babysit me,
and I used to hang out with them
after school and stuff.
-Yep. You used to cook
with your grandma.
-I used to cook with my grandma
all the time
and hang out, read cookbooks.
-Go driving with your grandpa.
-I would go driving with them.
And they would -- you know,
they would drink and drive.
-Oh, well, those were
probably the days.
-Different times.
-Different times.
-They never told me. But they
would have, like, a Thermos.
And then I remember once --
-You thought it was --
You tried to try it.
-Yeah. I tried to try it.
I go...
-It's a dead giveaway. Parents.
-Yeah, I go,
"Let me have a sip of it."
They go, "No, no, no.
It's just orange juice."
-"You won't like it."
-"Why are you guys
drinking orange juice?
It's the afternoon.
It's like 4:00
in the afternoon."
They're like, "Ah, we're just
going for a drive, right?"
Just -- [ Laughs ]
They wouldn't give me a sip.
I was like, ah. You guys take
a little nip of a screwdriver...
-Yep.
-...with your grandkid
in the car.
Probably no seatbelts.
-Teaching you how to drive.
-[ Laughs ] All right.
That's enough for
asking me questions.
Now back to the show
that everyone wants to watch.
[ Laughter ]
