 
2005: In the Land of Love

Presented by: BonaFideZen

CONTENTS

Dedication

Disclaimers

About Page

Contact Page

Chapter 1: Thee Perfect Day  
Chapter 2: Building on a Solid Foundation  
Chapter 3: Now we say Goodbye

Chapter 4: Reunited never Divided

Chapter 5: Reflection on our Concrete Love

Character List

Also by Dr. Ryte

Teasers

I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D.

RYTINGS: BOOK 2

ANGELIC & HEAVENLY

Until Next Time

DEDICATION

Dedicated to: everyone who loves love!

*Acknowledgements:

God! My BFZ family! Team Ryte!

Edited by and cover design by: BonaFideZen

BonaFideZen Logo created by: Bonafidezen

Published by: BonaFideZen & Dr. Ryte

DISCLAIMERS

This is a work of fiction but includes inspiration from true events. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination and/or are used fictitiously and/or have been changed. Names and identifying details have been changed, therefore BonaFideZen and Dr. Ryte have not violated the privacy of certain individuals.

SOME resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, groups, events or locales are entirely coincidental.

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Copyright 2017 by Dr. Ryte

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Warning! The following content may mention drugs, sex, dangerous behavior, strong language and violence. You are responsible for your actions. The author does NOT condone irresponsible behaviors or violence/dangerous acts. This book is for inspirational purposes only! Purely for the enjoyment of reading, being encouraged & for everyone who loves a love story!

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Chapter 1: Thee Perfect Day

It was the Summertime in 2005.. Might as well be labeled the best time of my life! I'm serious! The day that I met him was the first time that I experienced thee perfect day! The day that I met Dontae Grant Soto-Garcia! He goes by Tae though. Here I am rambling... let me introduce myself. Hello all! My name is Riesling Xiomara Chateaux aka O'Mara. Yeah, I know what you're going to say.. My name... it's unique- like me. I didn't know how special I was though until Tae came into my life.

I was 16. I met him at my best friend Chatta Beverly's sweet Sixteenth birthday party that her boyfriend Wayne threw for her. I remember it like it was yesterday even though it was June 4, 2005. I saw her boyfriend walking towards us with some guy. Chatta told me it was Wayne's best friend that she had previously told me about... I said no way! He must have glowed up! In my head I thought to myself- Wayne had a very sexy friend and I wanted to know more about him. My girl Chatta hooked us up. I love her so much for that! Tae is my life now! Here's how it all went down...

Chatta lived in my old hometown a few highways away from Atlanta. I moved away years ago. Now I reside in the ATL in Buckhead but I missed my old town. Strange enough, Tae moved to my old neighborhood less than a year after I left. He and Wayne met in third grade. Chatta had been my bestie since the second grade. Currently it was two months before I started the 11th grade. I moved away before starting 7th grade but I was back in town. I was spending the weekend with Chatta. Before Tae drove over to the party, Chatta showed me her yearbooks so that I could catch up on what all I had missed since 6th grade in my former hometown.

While looking at the yearbooks, I immediately noticed Tae. I asked her who he was and she said he was Wayne's best friend. She also said that he was on his way. I told her I don't remember him & she said he didn't move to town until 7th grade year. We all looked different as we grew older. I told her that I might need to be introduced to this Tae fella. She said she would set it up. I was jumping for joy in her room. I was so boy crazy back then but now I only have eyes for Tae. She texted Wayne to make sure that I get alone time with Tae.

"O'Mara it would be so cool if you two dated. Double date coming!" I asked her if he was single. "Uhh he's a player at school.. but I'm sure he wouldn't play you". Does he still have the braces and long braids? "You'll see.. I actually haven't seen him since classes let out so I don't know but Wayne said he's almost here".

My mind was racing. I saw our futures together! Babies and all. I remember thinking to myself: What is wrong with me? I need to calm down! Soon Wayne sent a text saying that Tae was pulling up. I peeked out the curtains to see a red car coming down the hill. I said that can't be him! Chatta said "Yea it is.. I'm going out there. You should hurry". I told her I would be out soon. He was so gorgeous.

I became so nervous. I went to the bathroom to get myself together. I had on a red dress with a gold butterfly on the front. My hair was in a high messy bun. Let me fix my hair. This bun doesn't want to stay. Gosh! I gave up on my hair and ran out of the bathroom. I put two sticks of gum in my mouth. Before going back to Chatta's room, I let my hair down. Yeah that's the look guys go for. Okay let me put Chatta's heels on & add more lip gloss.

Despite what daddy says I couldn't help my obsession with Puerto Rican guys. Tae was super cute back in 7th. He is super fine now! Wayne walked in and laughed at me posing in the full length mirror. "You are hilarious O'Mara"! Hater. "He's outside! I told him you were ugly & to let you down easily". I stuck up my middle finger. Wayne laughed & went to get some ice.

I got extremely excited again until he said "Real talk though you got a booger". I checked my nose and frowned. No boogies. Chatta came into the kitchen. "Leave her alone boo. She looks perfect"! I told her- I already told him he was a hater! We all laughed then they left to go back to the porch. I yelled out that I would be out soon.

I take a deep breathe, check my breath.. Good. I look good. Feel good. Now time to meet the love of my life. Ooh real quick... I looked at his Freshman year yearbook picture and took notes. Okay, football team, basketball, class clown, best dressed... I need to hurry & this list is long! Goodness boy! You are popular. Got to make sure my conversation is intriguing & not boring.... Okay I'm ready!

I finally went outside... To my surprise, my homegirl had left with Wayne in his car. I watched the Jeep leaving as I felt the warm breeze on my skin. It was still early so the other guests had not arrived yet. So it was only he and I... I slowly looked over to him standing by the trampoline wearing a blue shirt and black jeans. I stayed on the stairs. Our eyes locked and it felt like the whole world stopped. Love at first sight.

His mouth was hanging open. I was beaming. I had to lick my lips. He almost made me drool. I became nervous again. Flutterbys. I started to twirl my thick red hair. I had a fresh dye job. Wonder if he likes it? I looked at my feet then after what felt like hours.. he walked to me and introduced himself. I slowly looked up as he stood next to me on the steps. Oh no! I'm not ready! I'ma mess this up! My heart was beating so fast that the butterfly on my chest looked as if it was flying.

"Hello miss, my name is Dontae but I go by Tae". We exchanged a polite handshake. Gosh, no guy has ever been so nice to me before... "And you are"? I gave a goofy smile then said- Hi! My name is Riesling Xiomara but I go by O'mara. "O'mara, that is such a beautiful name.. so is Riesling. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl". I smiled & said- It is very nice to meet you sir... & thank you. I like your name too. Tae.. "I like the way you say my name". I blushed then asked if he wanted to go to the party area.

We walked over to the pool and talked.. "So I hear you used to live here in town". Yeah. I grew up around here then moved to Atlanta. What all did Wayne tell you? "He just said you were Chatta's friend who used to live here and you two been tight since the 2nd grade". Yeah that's my bestie for life. So he didn't say anything else? "Na". Okay good. "Do I need to know something else though"? No.. You just know how he is. Just making sure he didn't mess up my chance. "No.. Not a chance. I wouldn't let someone convince me that another person was not worth giving a chance to.. I prefer to make my own decisions based off of facts- not gossip and so far so good". Smart man. I really love that. So how do you like the neighborhood?

We talked for a full hour then Chatta & Wayne got back. Wayne was buttoning up his shirt as soon as they hopped out of the car. They kissed then Chatta asked me to come to her room with her. She looked as if she had been crying so I turned to Tae & said- Will you please excuse me? "Oh, sure. Just make sure you come back shawty". Oh I will! I blushed & followed my bestie to her room.

"He's cheating"! Whaaatt?! "We went to the store to get some games because I want to camp out tonight & I left for a few minutes to ask where Uno was right"? Okay... "and I come back & he's in his exes arms. Tell me why the bitch looks like me? Nobody got purple tips on their locs around here but me". Damn I'm sorry Chat. What did you do? "I told him right in front of her; it's either me or her & he said he only smashed once while we were together. She swung on me and we got kicked out of the store after I beat her ass so I didn't even get the games but what threw me is he just stood there". I stood up. Ready to cuss him out & tell him to leave but then she said- "I love him though O'Mara. So I gave him the one thing that will make him stay faithful to me". You freaked him in the car. "I gave him head. He said that's the only thing she didn't give him. He's choosing me Mara". Girl, if he is going to cheat he is just going to cheat. You deserve better. As always, she changed the subject... "I'm inviting my cousins over tonight. We can have a girl's night! Thank you so much for coming back to the 'hood to spend time with me for my bday girl". Anything for my best friend.

Eventually party guests began to arrive to Chatta's home. She convinced her Mom to stay away that weekend so we could have the house to ourselves. Her granny lived behind them but she slept most of the time so we had no parental supervision. We partied so hard. Drinks and smoke were plenty. I don't remember the half of it! I had so much fun catching up with old friends. I missed my old town because I could be more free there. In my new home everything was stuffy- I couldn't breathe.

I danced with Tae most of the night. We let each other know we liked each other. "I'd like to get to know you better". Me too. Chatta was so happy, she immediately started to plan double date nights. Tae gave me his number on a party napkin. His cell phone was dead and I didn't have a phone yet. He wrote his number in red ink. Eventually, he had to leave. He had to get his little sister Ava from her friend's slumber party. "My big sis Liz couldn't do it so I'm coming to the rescue again but yea hit me up. I'll be counting down the seconds until I hear that sweet voice again. Don't make me wait too long". I won't. Be safe driving. We hugged then he kissed me on the cheek & just like that he was out of my life.

Once everyone was gone, we went to the garage where Chatta and her big bro's 4-wheelers were. Chatta, me & her two younger cousins hopped on the 4-wheelers & rode up the hill to "the top of the world". I held on tightly to her as she drove and vented about her man. I enjoyed the breeze and leaves lightly kissing my cheeks as we rode through the woods. I smiled as I thought of Tae's warm embrace physically emotionally lovely- all over me.

Soon we got to the location and got our tents ready- embracing the moon that was providing enough light for us to play games that her cousin's brought over & indulge in girl talk about love, sex and boys. Chatta asked me when I was going to call Tae. "I don't know. You know if daddy finds out"... She quickly replied- Forget ya Dad! I don't see how he can discriminate so much. He feels if it isn't White then it isn't right. I mean no offense girl.. but no! Fuck him and you more Black than he is anyway. They all laughed & I replied- "I don't get it either". I kept my response short because I didn't want to think of the harsh reality of going back to being the princess of the family the next day. So for the rest of the night all I thought of, heard, spoke or breathed was Tae Tae Tae!

It was because of Tae that I discovered that I've been hot all along! Before he entered my life I did not know what true happiness felt like. My life has been mostly downs instead of ups... Let me rewind though. After the party, Chatta's mom came home early in the a.m. We all got into her car. She dropped the cousins off then it was my turn to go home. "I really want you and Tae to work so here is my old cell phone. All you have to do is buy a card for it & put money on it monthly". Thank you so much! "You should text him now. Wayne said all he talked about last night was you"! I gave her a huge smile & hug. I love you so much! You are the bestest friend ever. Definitely stay in touch! You got the number! She laughed & said "Yea just don't let ya daddy know. Keep it on vibrate. The manual is in the box". I know right. He won't let me have a car, phone, boyfriend- I have no life!

I quickly texted Tae Hey! It's O'Mara. Just getting home. Call me soon as we pulled up to the Richman's mansion. Yes that mansion from the magazines and that one TV show. Daddy was the wealthiest Black judge in the South. You might think I lucked out but you haven't lived with Donovan Richman. Let me reintroduce myself real quick- the way that everyone on this side of Atlanta sees me.. Hello my name is O'Mara and I live in a mansion inspired by Greek temples. I am also Greek and I am adopted by one of the richest men in America. He is married to a White woman named Amber and for years everyone thought that I was her birth daughter- she hates that. She hates me. I am daddy's little girl and she is just a trophy wife. I get the attention that she craves. I would gladly give it to her but it wouldn't solve their issues. She wasn't able to give him babies and he was about to leave her so she sent off adoption papers. She felt that a baby would make him love her. She wanted a mixed newborn baby but he found out what she was up to and came to the orphanage home where he saw me.

I was 11 years old. It was December in the year of 1999. I was in the 5th grade. My foster parents were glad to give me to him. Everyone acted like he was the Savior when he came through the doors. I looked at him like he was a normal person. Apparently that's what made him choose me. I knew who he was but I didn't care. He tried talking to me and for whatever reason- my silence made him want to adopt me even more. "What do I have to do to take her home today"? The social worker mentioned how my last foster parents didn't get my citizenship approved and my current parents couldn't afford it. "Oh that isn't a problem! So that's all I have to do"?

I don't know nor do I want to know what he did so that I could gain American citizenship so fast. Daddy is known for being up to no good but 9 months after meeting him- I was officially his daughter. It was September 2000. It was October when I moved from the hometown I grew up in for years and moved to the Greek temple mansion. Daddy swears he's Zeus. I left 6th grade being a Junior high student to becoming a 6th grader in Elementary school in a strange town. Yes I was mad about switching schools and leaving the town that I grew to love. I was used to the hood. I didn't know about this new bougie lifestyle. I turned 12 that November.

I was born in Greece on November 3rd, 1988. My birth parents were too poor to take care of me so my dad's mom took care of me until she grew ill. One good thing about Daddy is he never let me forget where I came from. In 1991 I was given to an American couple and ever since then I have been passed from home to home like a stray cat. The wife died and her husband was a drunk so I was officially placed into the foster system after one too many trips to the hospital. Before that point, no one wanted to deal with making it so that I can legally be in this country.

By age 8 I landed in Georgia and in the 2nd grade I met my best friend Chatta. My Jamaican twin! I never cared about all of that stuff that Daddy obsesses over like skin color, money or fame. He goes on and on about how he fought hard to rub elbows with billionaires. "People that look like me don't become millionaires.. I have outdone all of them now I am striving to be a billionaire.. You have to dress for success & hang around those you want to emulate". I love him and I appreciate the love and help he has given me.

Unfortunately he only likes rich people with certain shades of skin. The first time he got mad at me was when I uttered the words "sound to me like you have self-hate to the fullest". I was grounded for two weeks. I didn't care. Someone needed to tell him about himself. His famous quote is "I hate when those people come to me for handouts- I'm not the Negro savior" and he is known for being a Black judge with a record of publicly locking up mostly Black men. Maybe some would love this life but don't get me wrong- while I am grateful- I don't give into the hype of tearing others down.

My birth parents said that I get that "attitude" from them. Their names are Aaronya and Silad Chateaux. They always thank him for letting me keep my birth name. I never had the Richman last name. Daddy likes them- strangely... He pays for them to visit every Thanksgiving and a few other holidays and some of my birthdays. We go to the beach for Christmas so that time is just for me, Amber, Daddy and his son Valiant. My big bro is 3 years older than me. Of course I don't get along with Amber and my birth parents are still strangers to me but Val and I are very close.

He is Daddy's biological son with Julissa. Everyone calls her Jules. The reason why Daddy doesn't like Spanish people. She is Spanish but she left him for a Spanish man named Vandell. They divorced and share split custody of Val. She kept his last name though. She is more like my mother than any other woman. She is so dope. Summer 2001 when I was 12 I started my period. I was scared. Amber ridiculed me so I went to Jules. That was the first time she was helpful but now she always helps me. Dad was mad that Jules was around so much. He said he was just looking out for me.

Me getting my period resulted in me getting a 24K promise ring. I had to promise Daddy that I would keep my virginity until marriage. That I did.. Well sort of. Look at me getting ahead of myself again. Let's go back to the time when I first met Tae. The lovely year of 2005. After sending him that text I checked my phone all day but no Tae.. He called me the next day. A Monday. We talked for hours. I found out that we are both born exactly 8 months apart on a Thursday! His birthday is March 3rd and mine is November 3rd, 1988. That has to be a sign right.. "Yeah, a sign that you're going to be my wife". Aww. He sounded so cute on the phone.

"My bad baby. Sunday is family day. I missed talking to you though. I won't ever make you upset with me again. Happy wife happy life right"? So I'm really ya wife? "Yeah". I blushed and asked when I would see him again. "Hmm, when you coming this way again"? I sent a text to Chatta trying to find a spot to link up with my boo. Since I was not driving and Daddy would flip if Tae came to the mansion, we had to go through Chatta. She was fighting with her mom so she told me to hit her up in a few days and we could figure something out. "Damn".

I called him a few days later on his house phone and his grandmother said that he was out of town and won't be back until school started again. Damn really Tae? You just gonna disappear and not say a word? I sent a quick message of hello but it was a while before I heard from him again. I cried and stressed- wondering if I would ever see him again. My perfect day could have been extended to thee perfect weekend, week, month etc. but that whole Summer Tae was gone...

Chapter 2: Building on a Solid Foundation

The rest of my Summer was full of the usual. Hanging out with my rich friends, ignoring Amber and all of her dramatics, reading, being little miss academia and chilling with my big bro. I didn't see Chatta much but whenever Wayne mistreated her I would get a phone call or multiple texts.

Every Summer Daddy got me the syllabi, books and other material needed for the upcoming school year. By July I already read the books twice and completed the homework assignments ahead of time. So when school started in August, I sat in class bored out of my mind. This led to me writing novels and love stories. By the end of June that year Tae was M.I.A. so I focused on trying to forget him. I wanted to do something different that Summer.

Daddy also provided me with a list of 30 extracurricular activities. I had to pick at least five to do during the summer and five to do during the school year. If I wanted to do something that wasn't on the list then I had to prove to him that it was something that will make me a better person.. I was having a hard time picking out what to do. I asked Val what he was doing and he didn't know either so I called my homegirls Lyra and Unique up.

They always got in trouble but we had fun getting drunk, being ratchet and letting loose. Being with them reminded me of my old town. "No I can't come that day because we're having dinner with Amber's parents in Dunwoody". We were trying to come up with a plan so that I could spend the night over Lyra's. Her and Unique were cousins who lived the rich life about 30 minutes away from the Richman's mansion. "If I say I'm over Unique's then Daddy wouldn't mind". Unique was Val's ex that everyone wanted to become Mrs. Richman. I don't know why they broke up but she was still my good friend.

I went to Lyra's and we drove around that whole weekend. They was chasing dudes all over Atlanta. As much as I tried to forget about Tae I just couldn't. I didn't tell them about him but I hit Chatta up. You haven't heard from him? Has Wayne heard from him? Oh y'all don't talk much anymore.. Right. I forgot. Damn, I miss him. Why did he just disappear like that? My other friend was Solie. She wasn't as wild as my other friends. She was into books not boys.

"I should've called you. I would've picked out my Summer activities sooner. Thanks girl". I didn't get into many new things that Summer but before I knew it August was here. 11th grade. I had 4 out of the 5 things picked out already. I was most excited about taking a driver's course then Solie suggested that for one of my school year activities I join a program called Higher Reach. Everyone just called it Reach. I became the school's editor for the Reach newsletter.

When I discussed it with Daddy he was excited that the program provided college credit while I was still in high school and letters of recommendation for employment. I didn't know how much joining Reach would change my life. Solie gave me rides to the after school meetings and they talked about a Summer program. Hmm should I go to that? By early 2006 I got a text from a new number. Who is this? The next text said: Oh you don't know your husband anymore? Tae? Yea hey baby. I missed you. I missed you too. Where you been? I called and your grandma said that you would be gone all Summer. I sent you texts and called but no hear from.

He said that at first he was in an area with no cell service then he lost his phone and ended up getting another one. I immediately thought Okay he on some bullshit. Move on to the next. Then he told me he had been trying to talk to Chatta to get my number. He finally caught up with her and that's why he was messaging now. He apologized for making me wait so long to hear from him. Okay I forgive you.

We still didn't see each other or talk much that school year. I told him about how I was apart of Reach and was thinking of going to the Summer program. He said I should join. "It might change your life". So I started to go with Solie to the meetings on campus at Clark Atlanta University. Before you could join the 6 week Summer component you had to pass certain tests. It was usually for students who come from low income households. The program helps them to afford college as well as other great things. I got in after they found my file and saw that I had been in foster care all of my life.. I am glad they accepted me.

Daddy was of course going to pay for my college education but I didn't know much about being an adult plus my social skills needed improvement and Reach helps with all of that. Reach helps students to live better lives during high school and after high school is over. Whatever path you choose- whether it's to go to college or go straight into the work field or be a stay at home parent etc.- they help you to succeed. They help us study for standardized tests, fill out college applications, how to build your credit, become a homeowner, be healthy, do taxes, pay bills and so much more..

The program taught us about being near people of every shape, size, color, religion etc. It was a no judgment zone. Everyone was like family. That's something that I appreciated the most about Reach. It started in June. The high school year was flying by and Tae and I were talking less and less. We were both super busy. At one of the meetings I noticed that Tae was there. He was sitting in the auditorium near the exit. I had to wait until the end of the meeting to go talk to him since he was far away.

"Hi stranger". Oh shit! Hey baby! So you decided to join? "Yea. Is this why you told me to join and why you were gone all last Summer"? Yeah. It's a great program. I was shocked and excited to find out that we would be spending the Summer together. We took a picture together then some girl came and hugged him. They left together.. So it begins... I was 17 but still didn't have a car so Solie drove me to Clark Atlanta's campus where we were roommates at the Summer program.

I found out how much everyone loves Tae. We didn't spend a lot of time together one on one that Summer but we did grow closer. We were starting to build on a solid foundation. We would compete a lot- especially academically. We only had math & writing class together. The writing class doubled as one of our jobs. The highest achievers also got to work as teacher's assistants and get paid mucho dinero. Since I was a 4.0 student all through school I got to work alongside the writing and choir teachers. Tae didn't sing. He was on the basketball team. I was on the dance and cheer squad just so I could be closer to him. We would have dance offs in the gym and of course I would always win!

Since I was on my school's newsletter crew I began to write for Reach as well. I wrote poems and such for every special event and was a part of every organizing committee. Me and about 4 other students put together a DVD of the memories from that Summer. It was about 70 kids there. We surely had lots of fun. I loved being so busy. We would go swimming, Tae taught me how to play pool, we went to the movies, arcade, we had birthday parties and took a trip to see historical sites and landmarks around Atlanta. We hit up 6 flags too. My favorite thing about that was getting every flavor of Icee. Tae and I rode the rides but I was terrified. He comforted me with hugs and a kiss on the cheek. Yet I still didn't know if he was serious about me or not. We had a prom. Tae and I went together but as buddies. We wore sea green. It matches his eyes.

My roomie Solie and I didn't talk much and ended up not even being friends anymore. Every time I would mention Tae to her she would get so mad. I found out that it was because she wanted to be more than my friend. I ended the friendship. I felt it was best since I only had eyes for Tae but the Summer was coming to an end and it seemed like Tae only wanted to be my friend.

Our chemistry is undeniable. Everyone noticed that whenever we were near one another there were fireworks. Only of the most explosive kind. When people asked if we were a couple he would say "no that's the fam" while I would just sadly shake my head no. It hurt me that we were not more than friends. He was my super crush. He started to call me his sis once we were both at Reach. I immediately got defensive. He knew I was madly in love with him. "You already got sisters.. I'm ya wife when we're alone but now that you're around ya hoes I'm little sis? Fuck outta here".

He had me big mad. That was the Summer that I learned how much he flirted and entertained basically every female but me. He knew I was feeling him and that I wasn't messing with no other dudes yet he would come to me talking about who all he was freaking. She just gave me her number and told me to meet her on the 7th floor. You think I should hit? "The fuck you think"? We argued so much that Summer it wasn't even funny. He was playing with my emotions. I had to see every girl wear his hoodie. I couldn't say anything though because I was just the buddy. The end of the summer program was very close. One very hot night in August I had a change of heart.

"Tae, you know what? I'm going to say something. I feel like you're disrespecting me. Chatta told me you were a playa but damn. Is this infatuation or is this real love? Am I wrong for flipping out on you? We really need to work this out. Like you got me so confused right now! If I'ma be the buddy for life then let me know now but on the real.. You were there when we first met. There were signs. I saw you in the yearbook before meeting you in person and I felt something deep down inside. Did you not feel the butterflies too? We both said it was love at first sight. We get here and you change.. What is going on? That's all I want to know".

He looked at me with a scared look on his face. "What is it? How do you truly feel about me? Not them. Me. Why do you even mess with them when you can have everything and more with me"? Stop. I can't keep seeing you hurting. That's why I'm playing around with them. "Really? You don't think that hurts me"? Then he said- "Look, I've always been the guy to play around. I'd rather mess with them.. They are the type of girls that won't be hurt by that. They know what it is and they are cool with that. You are a close friend. I wouldn't do you like that, especially because I know how you feel about me. I'm not ready to give up the game". Keep that playa pimp bullshit to ya self. I don't wanna hear that dumb shit. That's not the real you! You know what we have. Tell me who makes you feel better than me? & I ain't even gotta touch you. I satisfy you on every level just by being. Just by existing. What hoe is fucking with me?

"I don't know how to express my feelings but I'm willing to try with you. I never open up to anybody. You make it easier for me to though. The more we're around each other the more comfortable I feel with you". Because you know it's safe with me. Thank you for opening up but I'm still confused. "Look, I do want to be with you and only you but".. Ain't no buts just do it. "Na for real.. I want and need to do you right and I never did that with anybody before. I don't want to fuck up our friendship. I don't want to fuck up period. I'm so used to dealing with a chick for 3 months or less then it's on to the next. You are special to me. You've been my everything since I saw you on the steps twirling your hair. I'm not going to treat you like you're trash. I don't know how to love you right now. I don't even know how to love myself but one day I will and I hope you're around when I figure this shit out".

It isn't supposed to be hard.. Right? You just.. Do it.. They say good things don't come easily though but if the love is too stressful it's not meant to be. I don't know. I just know that I do love you. "All I know is I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you". I dropped to the floor. He didn't say it back. Was I missing something? Is this what it means when people say girls understand it quicker than guys? I knew he was my happily ever after and I was ready to risk it all right then and there but he was dragging his feet, making excuses and shit... "So let me get this straight. I know we will be together one day.. So I'm supposed to wait for you to figure out how to love me right? I'm supposed to sit back while you deal with other girls and go have fun while I'm love sick over you"?

O'Mara I don't want to waste your time. Do you want me to play games with you? I know this isn't what you want to hear but I wouldn't be a true friend if I didn't save you from heartache. You already broke my heart. "Stop being dramatic". I'm dead ass. I'm hella hurt right now. "You know what. Here. Take this". He gave me his name tag and took mine. He then placed the lanyard around my neck. "I am you and you are me. We are one". I started to cry and tried to run away but he stopped me. "I have to tell you something". Is he going to say it? I know we both feel it. I know I'm not crazy. "I... moved to Buckhead. When we got time off for the 4th of July weekend I moved into my new place. We'll be going to school together for our Senior year... I want to be closer to you".

We only had a few more days until the Summer program was over. It would be most of the group's last Summer with Reach since we would be entering the 12th grade in a week. We had a graduation ceremony on the last day. After he opened up to me I was even more confused. We argued more than ever during those last few days. People's comments were irritating. They argue like a married couple. They act like sister and brother. Na, they need to be a couple already. I don't know why they're not together. I don't know either. We didn't even say goodbye. It was so weird.

When I got home I kept myself busy by focusing on filling out college applications and preparing for life after high school. I got a job at a bookstore. I was heavily focused until... He has a girlfriend Chatta! Some chick from your school. I saw him drive by my house with her so I did my research.. Her name is Winna and she's pregnant! No he hasn't talked to me since we left Reach! He dodged me in the hallways and I saw him at the skating rink last weekend but he didn't even speak. Now I see why.

You would think that this would make the love go away but...

Dear Tae,

I know about your situation. Congrats... I can't even lie- it's hard for me to say that since I was supposed to be the mother of your children. Let me not be petty. Your girl probably reading this.. This letter is to let you know that I still love you. My buddy ol' pal! Always have and always will. This of course means I have to fall back but we will always be friends. I am always here for you. Never feel like you are alone in this world because you will always have me. You don't have to keep avoiding me around town. Say hi! We're better than that. I wish you nothing but the best.

Truly, O'Mara

I wrote it out on a piece of paper first then I saw that he was online so I typed it in his inbox. Weeks went by and I was waiting to see the word read beside the message. Senior year was flying by. Still haven't heard from Tae.. Eventually I didn't even see him around town or at school anymore. Chatta kept me updated on all things Winna. In May she told me that they had broke up so I went straight to the source. Well I tried to.. He blocked me from messaging him! I saw his status saying he got a new number... I'm still on his friend list. I see it says that he is single now. Does he have a kid now? Why block me from talking to you but keep me on ya page? I really need to talk to him. We still on for tomorrow?

The next day she was picking me up so that I could stay with her for the weekend. It was her graduation time. One week before my graduation.. and Tae's. My homegirl graduated with honors! I am so proud of her! Her and Wayne didn't last but she moved on. Actually she became Mrs. Qhaleil Dyer Sr. They call her husband Shot. I don't know why so don't ask. They had my Godson Junior. My friends were all in love and I was chasing a dude who clearly wasn't into me.. You would think that if he wanted me he would come to me.. Right?

I was stubborn. I just knew what I wanted.. Tae and I forever. When you know you just know.. Here's a chance.. If it's meant to be- we will see each other again. Universe hear my cry. This is what I thought to myself as I accepted the invitation to join the Higher Reach alumni program. It could be my last chance to see Tae. The morning of our graduation, I saw that he had finally read my message/letter. I have to know... Who knows where our lives will take us after high school graduation...

Moments after the ceremony I felt a tap on my shoulder. I slowly turned around to see Tae looking into my eyes. The world around us stopped. We hugged. We need to talk. "Yes we do". Daddy gave me a car as my graduation gift so I drove Tae to the ice cream shoppe and we talked. "I am so sorry. For everything. I had to get my mind right so I cut everybody off. She didn't want me talking to any females but her. I shouldn't have ever blocked you out of my life though. You mean so much to me". Do you have a kid now? "No. We did the test and he isn't even mine. That's why I broke up with her". So you been single for two seconds and now you're talking to me again? Hmm... "Don't think of it like I'm trying to make you a rebound. I'm not. That situation just helped me to see who's real and who's not. Your letter helped even more though".

The Summer of 2007, Tae and I were inseparable. We both were accepted into the Reach Alumni program. It was available to the top 8 highest achievers of our class. Tae and I tied for first place. We were the only students to get 100% in every class. It helped me to network and gain knowledge about the field I wanted to go into after graduating college. I talked to people about doing an internship later on and learned a lot about college and work life. We traveled to New York and got a taste of the fast paced "real life" work experience. Tae was going straight into working for the family business so he learned about being a boss. I love how we help each other grind and shine. We support each other.

One night in late July 2007 while we were in Harlem, Tae took me by the hand and we walked to the rooftop. "O'Mara" Yes Tae. "I love you baby". I love you.. So much... After we hugged and kissed we began to work at being a couple. We wanted to take it slow and make sure before we jumped right in. "Don't want to fuck anything up with you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life but this is new to me". Let's see if we still feel the same way in 90 days then. It just came out of my mouth but he liked that idea so we went with it.

Chapter 3: Now we say Goodbye

At the end of August 2007 I started my freshman year of college at Clark Atlanta University. I loved the campus so much I decided to enroll there. It was less than 20 minutes away from the mansion so Daddy was happy. He threw me a huge going away party, made sure I had everything I needed and his saying goodbye was full of safe sex talk and "please don't get pregnant". Amber just mumbled "Glad she's leaving- now let's get rid of the other one" talking about Val. He was very protective and supportive. "Go kill it Ries and if you need me to fuck somebody up I'm just a phone call away"! Campus life. Living on my own. Scary. Exciting. Scare-cited? No? Okay.

My major was computer science. I was going for my Bachelor's degree with a minor concentration in information systems. Yea I'm one of those Geeky Greek Gals. I was super busy but still made time for Tae. He was busier than me. He had been training his whole life to take his Dad's place as boss over their family's worldwide chain of grocery stores. His dad is Dan Soto-Garcia, the grocery King. Now that he graduated it was time for him to boss up. This time around was different because he made time for me. When it was family day he picked me up. You're family. I love his fam & they love me. I became close friends with his sister Lizette.

Everything was all good!

We made sure to have date night every weekend. I love how spontaneous Tae can be. We took it slow. We thought things through yet the love came so naturally it felt like we weren't thinking at all. When we reached 90 days it was the end of October. Neither one of us were counting though. We were enjoying one another and any amount of time we could get together. Even though I was a college girl I wasn't going wild. I was only about my books and my man. Plus I couldn't do too much because Daddy had eyes on campus.

"So I see you got a little boyfriend now. When were you going to tell me"? Daddy, no I don't. "Is he Spanish? Like from Spain like Vandell"? Daddy stop. He's Puerto Rican. That's what he calls himself so that's what he is. Him & both of his parents were born and raised there. Then they came to Georgia when he was young- just like me. "Oh he is not just like you"! You don't even know him. "So you're sitting in my face defending this boy but he isn't your boyfriend? You've never lied to me or kept things from me before O'Mara. He is changing you". No he's not! I'm not lying! We're not together yet officially. "Cut him off. He'll only bring you pain". No...

I watched as Daddy walked off to his room. I've never seen him look so sad before. Things between us haven't been right since. November 2007. My 19th birthday was very close and Val kept asking me how do I want to celebrate. I don't know. Kick back and read some books? Watch some movies? I'm not feeling it this year. "Na fuck that. We turning up"! I had a feeling he was throwing me a surprise birthday party. Little did I know it was all Tae's idea.

I didn't know you and Val were cool now. "Hey baby. Happy birthday. Yeah I see him in the neighborhood and at the gym. We linked up. Threw this bomb ass party for you"! Thank you baby! The real surprise was that Daddy was there and of course his shadow- Amber. My birth mother was there, Jules, my friends including Chatta & her family and Tae's huge family. Is this just a birthday party? "O'Mara I have something to ask you". Yes Tae?

"In front of all of our friends and loved ones, I want to know Will you be my girlfriend"? I immediately looked at Daddy who grabbed Amber and stormed out of the room. Then I said Yes baby. The crowd clapped and everyone was happy as we smiled and kissed. Chatta said, "Next is the wedding. I'm the maid of honor of course"! I laughed as Lyra rolled her eyes. "Don't hate! I hooked them up"! It was a Saturday so I wasn't in any rush to get back to campus so Tae and I went to his place.

The Ring comes off

We made love that night. All night. It was my first time. Once I got a taste I couldn't stop. I knew he was the man that I would marry so it made perfect sense to me. Him asking me to be his girl was like a marriage proposal. Now I wear my promise ring as a necklace. So I'm sure Daddy knows but we never discussed it. The love between Tae and I was growing and growing. Time was flying because we were having so much fun. First semester was gone quickly but everything really came to a halt during my second semester.

"I never told you before because I just wanted to focus on the happy moments". What do you mean you're moving back to Puerto Rico? You mean for good or...? "I'll be back. I'll visit but I have to move there permanently in order to do this job right. I am so sorry baby. I love you. We will make it". So I'll be here on campus and you'll be there working and you want to still be a couple? "Long distance won't keep us apart". Why do you sound like a love song right now? When do you leave? "June". You know it's May right? "I'm sorry. I love you". Love you too.

When he told me it hit me harder then when I thought some other female was carrying his child. I felt like our love story was over. A few days after he told me- I completed my last final exam for my first year of college. I was still an A plus honor student. I couldn't even focus on the accomplishments in my life because my life- my love- was leaving. We decided to have an open relationship. Not open like that. Open to us means we openly communicate about everything and if we find someone that we feel is better than the one we're with then openly let it be known. We trust each other and want what's best for one another but it's so damn hard to let go. "Don't cry baby". Now we say goodbye.

The rest of 2008 flew by. We talked so much during his first 6 months being away. We had video chat sessions every night. We sent gift boxes. We sent text messages and pictures throughout the day- keeping one another updated on every little thing that was going on in our lives. I miss you so much Tae. I miss you too baby. I'll come visit soon. He tried to come in for my birthday but was too busy. It's okay. Your birthday is soon. Maybe we can see each other then.

My sophomore year was the hardest. I was having trouble focusing on my studies. I became a B student for the first time in my life. Not a biggie to most people but I was devastated. March of 2009 came and Tae turned 21. We didn't get to spend time together. I messaged and called him but didn't hear from him until days later. I saw online that he had partied hard though. That's when things started to go downhill.

I moved off of campus in May 2009 and that June Tae had been gone for a full year. I was so lonely. I missed him so much that I started to save up so that I could go see him. I still worked at the bookstore plus I began my internship. I was going to be a computer systems analyst once graduating. Everything was looking up and then...

Who is that? OMG!!! Nooo! "I'ma kill him Ries"! What happened Val? Come to the bathroom. Let me clean you up. My brother came to my house after him and Daddy got into a fight. Val was beat up bad. I heard my phone ringing. Oh gosh who is that? Hold on Val. I picked up my phone then Val said, "I know it's him. I'ma kill you motherfucker". It's Tae. By now Tae is yelling in the phone. KILL WHO? Who the fuck you got over your crib O'Mara? Really that's what we doing?

Calm down! It's Val! He thought Daddy was calling. They got into it. "Na I know what he sound like and that's not your brother. You got me fucked up. I know I been gone awhile but you said you would be open and honest. I've been keeping it real with you but you playing games". The fuck you talking 'bout Tae? I'm trying to console my brother who sounds different because his fucking jaw is damn near on the ground right now and you're calling yelling at me? I don't have time for this dumb shit! You barely call anymore but you want to call now and with this bullshit.. Maybe we need to take a break or something. This is too much for me.

"Don't you ever let me hear that word come from your mouth again. We're not taking a break but I do know one thing. I am in Puerto Rico. I can have a different beautiful girl each day of the week if I wanted to". Oh really Tae? "But I only want you. I fucking love you. You know what? I'll let you get your mind right.. I'll call you back". How about you don't call me back. Ever. I threw my phone down and walked away.

After I helped my brother I called Chatta. I told her about what happened. "Yeah he'll be okay. He's staying with me for a few days. Our doctor came over and now Val is sleeping. Daddy messaged me saying don't take him any place where the press can see. He is so disgusting. He told me that Tae will only bring me pain. I don't care what he says. Daddy's just mad because Tae's family are not millionaires. I don't care about that shit. A business owner is not a bad job! Tae is my dream guy. We love each other so much. I know he isn't down there cheating on me. He was just talking shit because he was hurt. We will get better". Maybe you should tell him that.

I calmed down and wanted to make things right with my man but luck was not on our side. Long distance was harder than we ever imagined. We didn't talk for 74 days. Well unless you want to count the two seconds we spoke only to text or say: Busy. Sorry. Love you. G2G (got to go). I don't even think he was mad at me that whole time. I feel that we weren't talking anymore because we were just that damn busy. It did hurt my feelings though.

Chapter 4: Reunited never Divided

I reached out to him more than he hit me up. He didn't even respond when I sent him a copy of my plane ticket. I thought that would make him finally pick up the phone. Fuck it. I'm about to be 21. I'm spending it in Puerto Rico whether single or taken. I sent him that text in August and he immediately called. We made things right again but it just wasn't the same. At least we were talking more though. November came and I got a week off for Thanksgiving break.

It's my first time in Puerto Rico! "Beautiful right"? It sure is! I wouldn't mind moving down here. Why are you acting like you don't miss me? "Stop playing. Come here". We hugged and kissed but something was off. I wondered if it was because it had been so long since we've been face to face. Was it something we would get past or was it really over? The thought of being without the love of my life made my stomach hurt.

He had a very comfortable beach home. I wish it would make our situation comfy.. You're doing good for yourself. I'm proud of you or whatever. "Thank you O'Mara the great one". Oh so I'm not baby anymore? When we talked it wasn't loving anymore. It was full of sarcasm and double meanings. That week was tough. It was like we went backwards- back to when we were just friends. Strangers even. We didn't even make love. I left even more hurt and confused than ever. What are we? "I am you and you are me". But are we one? I got no response.

I got back to the 'A' and tried to figure out what to do about Tae. December came and Daddy told me to come home for Christmas break. "Are we going to the beach this year"? No. The Soto-Garcia's have invited us to spend the holidays with them. Okay something is up.. Daddy is going to Tae's family's home? As Daddy, Amber, Val and I arrived- it started to snow. "BABYYYY!!!!! What? Wow I can't believe you're here"!

He had been away for one year and a half and I missed him dearly. All of the former awkward feelings went away. We were back! I felt love in the air. I love you so much baby. "I love you so much Tae". Val said, Aww look at y'all.. Reunited! Then Tae said, Never divided. It was Christmas Eve 2009. He moved back into his place in Buckhead. Liz was staying there while he was gone. He had people to mind the stores while he was back in the ATL.

That night we talked about our future together. "I want chunky babies with your eyes and of course they will have super curly hair like both Mommy and Daddy". I want a baby girl that looks like you Mommy. "You don't want a son"? Of course I do. Let's go make a baby right now. "Babyyyy stop! Our family is here". That night I slept like a baby. I woke up to my man's lovely face. We were all lovey dovey at the breakfast table. Daddy scowled at us kissing. I noticed that since last night every time I saw him he had a bottle or two in his hands.

"The snow is so beautiful- isn't it Daddy"? He walked off. I went after him. "What is wrong with you? If you didn't want to come then..." He cut me off and said, Are you happy with Dontae? "Yes I am. Very happy". Well I just want you to be happy. Even if it makes me unhappy. I hugged him. "Thank you Daddy". What he said next stayed on my mind for a long time. I can't walk you down the aisle. "What"?

Everyone enjoyed the holidays except Daddy. Even Amber was smiling. Tae's mother passed away when he was younger so the family celebrates her life during the holidays. It was so beautiful. I wasn't ready to head back to school but Junior year was not yet complete. May 2010 came. The school year was over. Tae and I were tighter than ever. My one year lease was up on my home so I moved in with Tae. We were good during the Summertime then August came.

I started my last year of college. I was stressed to the max. We had our first face to face argument. It was bad but so stupid. We almost swung on each other. It was basically the first time that we got that much time together. Day in day out- waking up to the same face.. Learning one another's quirks and routines. We were learning new version of ourselves up close and personal. We needed some air.

The argument was because I left dishes in the bedroom and he put his dirty underwear on top of the dishes. We both were at fault. The place is usually very clean but after months of living together we started to slip. I love you regardless. I love you too baby. I don't want to change you. I just want to help you to be a better version of yourself. Before we would just go with the flow but after that petty argument we had to discuss rules and standards. It worked for us.

You promise?

May 2011 came and I was a college graduate! That was the happiest moment of my life until June 4th. We were celebrating our 6th year knowing one another and... Baby! Aww! I haven't been here in years. Tae set up a romantic spot by my favorite lake in my old hometown. It has the prettiest swans there. As we sat there feeding each other I saw a swan swim close to us. Is that a box attached to the swan?

I watched as he grabbed the box and got down on one knee. The flutterbys are back. "I know you came here as a kid whenever you were hurt, scared or lonely. I am here today to promise you that you will never feel that pain with me. Let me show you that my word is true. I thank you for being yourself, loving me, allowing me to love you and for not giving up on our love. From the beginning I called you my wife so now will you please take this ring and be mine. Forever more". YES! "You promise"? Yes Bae! "I thought bae meant poop". I told him it means before anyone else but yea you poop too 'cuz you da shit. This ring is the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. We laughed and kissed. "I love yo corny ass"! Love you more.

He asked Daddy for my hand in marriage when we spent Christmas at his family's home. He also asked Val. Daddy just wanted me to be happy. I finally understood why he was acting so weird. I immediately told my loved ones the great news! Our engagement party was in November. It was also a going away party. We moved to Puerto Rico in early 2012. Tae had to get back to the main headquarters. I found a job. Life was lovely! We were in paradise!

Saturday, June 9th, 2012 we had our wedding at our beach home in Puerto Rico. We were surrounded by all of our loved ones. Daddy and Amber didn't come. My birth father walked me down the aisle. I married my best friend. It was beautiful. I cried tears of joy all day. We honeymooned in Greece. I was enjoying being Mrs. Riesling Xiomara Soto-Garcia. My name.. I know... it's special! Just like us!

My reality was better than my wildest dreams!

Chapter 5: Reflection on our Concrete Love

Now I can't even stand to be in the same room as this fool. When he comes home, I leave. Vice versa. At night he sleeps in the guest bedroom. We've been married for two years. We haven't made love in four months. All we do is focus on work. I mean I am glad that his businesses are booming but damn can I get some of your time? We barely speak or do anything together. Everything he does or doesn't do just annoys me. The honeymoon is definitely over. "We're not those little kids at Reach hugging in that picture anymore".

Chatta says: Well what are y'all going to do? "I don't know what to do. I don't even care anymore. I mentioned divorce and he walked out the room. I didn't see him for 12 days after that. I don't know him anymore and I don't want to. I just ugh... *scream*". Damn girl. I didn't know it was that bad. Well I'm here for you. Both of you. "Really? You knew me longer". He's my friend too. I want you two to work this thing out. "Fuck Tae".

It's 2014 and we are not in a land of love anymore. So what made me go from being head over hills to wanting to smash his head through the wall? The moment we got home from our honeymoon vacation he felt like the hard work was over. A year plus of me telling and showing him that you need to work at your relationship every day- especially a marriage. I feel like this is now one-sided. I fight for us but I do it alone. I miss my best friend. It's to the point where I'm over yelling, trying to work things out and I'm over us. I gave up. He doesn't care so why should I? I got focused on my work more than ever before. He does it- two can play that game. When he plays disrespectful games I one up him. After his last stunt I packed all of my shit and moved back to Atlanta. Oh and I left my ring behind.

"O'Mara what the fuck? Where are you and where's all your stuff"? Fuck you Tae! I'm changing my number and I'm not in Puerto Rico so don't try to find me! "Where are you? You are my wife. I need to know where you are"! Oh your wife huh? The one you don't talk to until I make a huge dramatic exit. "You want to talk? That's why you're acting out? Okay let's talk". Goodbye Tae. Since moving back to ATL I got back into writing. I am also going for my Masters degree. Busy. I missed Tae but I refuse to go back to the loneliness and disrespect. We grew apart. Our hearts used to sing the same song but now they move to the beat of two different drummers. I had to learn how to love being alone again.

I'm writing a love story. By the time I got to the 3rd chapter I realized that it was similar to my real life story with Tae. Words just appeared on the screen. I was typing but something took over me. Therapy. I need to reflect on our concrete love. Remember how we came to be. We need the days of 2005 back. Rewind time. Get that good ole thang back! What we had was rare, magical.. Beautiful. I was so crazy about him back then. How can we let that slip away?

A week after I moved out.. "Meet me at the store". You mean the store that Tae owns? You're not slick Chatta. I know something is up. "No I'm here at the store and don't feel like driving all the way out there but Junior wants to see you so come on". Okay, fine. As soon as I pulled up I notice a big I'm sorry banner hanging from the roof. I sent Chatta a text. I'm driving off. Tell Junior to come give me a hug before I go. Tae ran out. "No baby please don't go". Really Tae? You used the baby to get me to come here? & you always want to call me dramatic. "I had to see you. I miss you baby. I can't sleep. Can't work.. I can't do anything without my Queen".

I walked into the store. The hurt feelings all rushed back. "O'Mara I am sorry. I love you. I don't know what will make you put this ring back on but I am going to do all that I can so that we can work this out. You leaving woke me up. I have been neglecting you and our bond. I'll do better. Let's go away. Remember our honeymoon? We can go back to Greece and start anew. This time I'll come back and be your husband not the guy that hurt you". You said that you would never hurt me. You won't get better. I can't do this anymore. I gotta go. "Baby please. What you mean you can't do this? This is us. O'Mara and Tae. Who better for you than me"? Me. Alone for life- that's what I'm on. You're too late.

"I saw you before I met you. It was only minutes after when I first met you..." Then together we said: You were so nice. I was checking out your style. We clicked instantly. I want to stay in this world for awhile... Then I closed my eyes and said- I told my homegirl that I found the One for me. I'll remember this day for eternity!

"Thee perfect day"

Tae smiled and I said- I forgot about me writing you silly little poems, songs.. Love stories... "They're not silly to me. I still have everything you ever wrote me. What are we doing? Are we really going to throw all of this away? I don't want to. What I want to do is grow old with you, make you happy and give you babies". I heard this all before. I do miss the old days though. I miss us laughing, talking, kicking it and sharing stories. "Me too baby- back when we lived in our own land of love. When nothing and nobody could tear down the strong fort we built. I've fucked up time and time again but from now on I will remember to always be your friend. I love you so much"! I love you too big head.

Tae is Bae

After that we packed our bags and went to Greece. We took the time to learn our new current selves and to reconnect. What we have may not be traditional or whatever but this is our perfect, our normal, our fairy tale, our life mate and soulmate love story. We have made it through tough times. Now we are healing, growing, learning and loving. We are living in Puerto Rico. Working everyday to be better than ever. In 2015 we celebrated 10 years of love. I will always love you Tae. Always have. Always will. You're the one and only to fully fulfill me.

I am glad that I wrote this story. Looking back helped me to move forward. Maybe you're having hard times in your love life and this story can help you. Inspiration. Tae and O'Mara! Our future is bright! We got back on track and... "What does the test say doc"? You're pregnant!

CHARACTER LIST

*Riesling Xiomara Chateaux (Soto-Garcia) aka O'Mara aka Ries

*Dontae Grant Soto-Garcia aka Tae

*Chatta Beverly (Dyer)

*Valiant Richman aka Val

*Donovan Richman aka Daddy aka Don aka Judge Richman

*Aaronya Riesling Chateaux

*Amber Richman

*Ava Soto-Garcia

*Dan Soto-Garcia

*Julissa Richman aka Jules

*Lizette Soto-Garcia aka Liz

*Lyra

*Qhaleil Dyer Sr. aka Shot

*Qhaleil Dyer Jr. Aka Junior

*Silad Chateaux

*Solie

*Unique

*Vandell

*Wayne

*Winna

ALSO BY DR. RYTE

Published titles *All presented by BonaFideZen* include:

Judge Me, Do Not

Hold Hands (Book of the week winner poem)

Heartfelt Liberation  
777 steps until you get it Ryte

Dr. Ryte's Poetry Book Volumns 1-5 aka 100 poems

I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D.: Lala's Story Part 1

Rytings: Book 1

Rytings: Book 2

2005: in the Land of Love

Angelic & Heavenly

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Next up to be published:

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Teasers & full details about all BFZ BOOKS can be found on our BFZ blog- where updates are posted first! Speaking of teasers...

TEASERS

I.N.S.P.I.R.E.D.: Lala's Story Part 1

Meet Lala & enjoy her story as she tells you about her wild lifestyle from the ages of 3 to 18 leading to her self-discovery. This is Dr. Ryte's first series & chapter book to be published! It has been available since November 2016! Since I love you I'm releasing the full first 2 chapters! Please purchase this great read at bonafidezen.com enjoy and share with your loved ones.

Description: Hello! I'm Lala and this is my story. Allow me to take you on Part 1 of this growing rollercoaster ride that's my life from age 3 until I was 18. Find out how I'm inspired by many while gaining inspiration yourself. Being shipped from L.A. to Boston- I have help from others who inspire me to find myself. This is BonaFideZen's first-ever novel sequence book series! Much thanks for the support! Visit bonafidezen.com for more greatness. You wouldn't believe all that I've been through. You have to read my life story to see if I rise or fall. Life, death, fears, happiness, family, growth and more are included in this wild Inspirational Lala series. Book 2 will come in 2017. I hope to inspire you to become yourself, never give up and give thanks to all who inspire you. So read my book today and spread the love. Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1: LALA'S INTRODUCTION

Once upon a time...

No scratch that! Once upon a time

What's good everybody?

No! Hell no... What's good

Look y'all, I am not a writer.. but I am writing! Straight up! I am just going to be myself. I feel that this story needs to be told to the world. So... who better than to tell it but me? So is it alright with y'all if I start this story?!

Okay!

Have you ever thought of the list of people who inspire you day to day? Of course we can draw inspiration from ourselves but why not show love to those who have helped us?! Hello! My name is Yolanda. Yolanda L'nore Thomas but I prefer to be called Lala now. Not Lala cupcake- just Lala! I'll get to that later. I decided to write about my life story from the ages of 3 to 18. I am 23 now but back then I was the type of person who you couldn't tell ANYTHING! I thought I was tough shit. I swore that I knew it all. Until, I got taught some major lessons about everything from living to dying. Who knows? Maybe my story can be an inspiration to someone. Well, here's my story...

I remember when I was 3 sitting on my daddy's lap in a rocking chair. We were in my room. Cartoons were on the TV. That was the last time he held me in his arms. 20 years ago. Damn. The show went off then he turned on some jazz music. My father Roland Thomas was a professional tap dancer. He was so full of life and movement. "Yoyo come and dance with Daddy". We danced all night.

I often think of that night and smile. I still talk to my father. He is here with me all of the time. He was the first person to inspire me. In more ways than I can reminisce about.

Roland passed away from a car accident. He was only 21 years old. My parents had me when they were young. When he was 19 and my mother was 18 they got married. They were high school sweethearts! The love of one another's lives!

We were all happy until that tragic morning of the accident. It was the morning after we danced in my room. He was rushing home with exciting news. He had just got news that he was going to be dancing worldwide! But instead of getting his big break, he was cremated. I will never understand why the world lost such a great man.

His ashes were given to his mom in Ireland. Over there he was known as Roland O'Thomas. I never knew my paternal grandmother growing up.. well my seanmháthair. My maternal grandma was always hard on me. That's another story for another time..

I was definitely a daddy's girl though. For many years he was all that I had...

I had to start my book with him. Losing him led me down an intense rollercoaster road. Don't worry, I'll tell you all about it! Depression doesn't begin to explain how sad I was. I am still saddened. These days I find myself looking for the positives more than the negatives though.

During my first 18 years of living; things were more on the bad side. If it was not for Roland Patrick Thomas (O'Thomas) I would not have made it. I love, miss and appreciate you Daddy! No one will ever compare to you!

Rest in Peace.

His bubbly persona inspires me even today. Many inspire me. Read on to find out more. Now that you know a little bit about me; let me tell you about how I ended up being a juvenile delinquent in the system.. For better or for worse.

CHAPTER 2: I.

"I don't know what to do momma! She is out of control! 'Landa done went WAY past the last straw. I am fed up.. BEEN fed up. What do I do"? Send her to one of those bad kids places, says Frances. "No momma, kids in the system get released when they are 18 and end up behaving worse than they did when they first went in" says Dena. Well, it's either that or she'll be driving you crazy until she turns 18... or she might end up killing herself or you one.

Dena: "Aw mama! Don't say that! I told you that I'm calling for prayer. I don't need negativity."

Frances: Get that demon out your house! Plead the blood of Jesus! I rebuke that devil in your name Jesus! Dena, I don't know why you let that child run around like she is grown anyway. I raised you better than that. All of yall need to come to church. I haven't seen you in weeks and you call me to talk about your fast tail daughter. You don't love your mama now? You didn't even ask how I've been. That child needs to go! She clearly has you losing your mind.

"(sigh) Ma, she's grieving for her father.." He's dead already. It's been how long? You got over it; she can to. "It's time for these kids to eat. I have to go. I'll just think of something okay." Dena you better not hang up this phone. I am talking to you! "I gotta go mama".

DENA! Lord Father God! I cannot believe this.. and you wonder where your daughter gets her disrespectful ways from. Yall ain't get that from me! "Bye mama" Dena ended the phone call with her Mother, my grandmother, Frances Walker. Frances was a preacher. We didn't get along too well. She's very strict and judgmental. You don't have to like your family but you gotta love 'em... right?

*****************************

JOYCE! YELLOW! BOYD! YOLANDA! Dena called for her children; who were outside playing. Yes, my siblings and I are called Boy, Joy, Lo and Yo. Don't ask... My mother, Dena Eleanor Thomas-Chad, was not herself back in those days...

I am the oldest of four kids. Boyd Jamiere Chad is the next oldest. He was seven around this time. My little bro is a hella genius! The youngest is my baby sis Joyce Elenora Chad. She was only two years old back then. My other brother is Yellow Clark Chad, who was four, and always jumping off of tables and shit. My mom was on one when she named him- talking about "he was a yellow baby & he came so early I didn't have time to pick out names so I named him Yellow". Maybe that's why he always wanted to fight.. or maybe it's the other part of his name.. Clark Chad aka the terrorizer. Anyway, let's get back to the story.

Come on, it's dinnertime- Where's Landa at yall? "She's over there with that Turner boy," says Boyd. Are you sure, Boyd? Dena asks. He replies, "Positive, I was just over there playing with his little brother Billy". I am so tired of that girl! LANDA! LANDA! Dena stormed across the street to the next door neighbors' house.

Dena finds Landa behind the Turner's home in the alley. She yells at Yolanda. Girl, get up! What are you doing over here with this almost grown man? Get in the house NOW & get washed up for dinner. Did you hear me? I said go NOW!

"NO! I don't have to listen to you DENA!" I yelled right back at my mother, thinking that it would impress my boyfriend at the time, Robert. We were outside getting high with his friend Harper.

WHAT? Did you call me DENA? I am your MOTHER and you WILL respect me! Get over there NOT NOW BUT RIGHT NOW! Dena screams as she points at their three bedroom home. "Says who? The last time I checked, I did not have a mom." Dena frowns..

Says me, that's who: your mother. The one who is going to beat your ass when we get home. Dena grabs Yolanda and pulls her away from the alley. I am getting a switch so get ready. Keep it up and you won't eat tonight! "Whatever, I'm staying here with Robert". Yolanda quickly pushes Dena off of her and runs back to the alley. Robert and Harper laugh as they pass the blunt.

Dena couldn't take it anymore. Okay, you'll get yours. Every dog has its day and yours is coming soon little girl. I don't have time for this TEENAGER business. You are 13 not 31! You need to stay in a child's place. Yolanda put her hands over her ears and rolled her eyes as Dena continued.. I have kids to look after and if you wanna be GROWN then go on. You are not going to be laying under my roof, eating up my food and disrespecting me. Good bye! Don't come knocking on DENA'S door either! She started to walk back home then stopped and turned to Robert.

Oh yeah, Robert, did you know that she is only thirteen? "Yeah, my babe sexy as fuck ain't she". Harper gave Robert a dap handshake as Landa blushed then flipped her hair. I could have you put six feet deep, Dena threatens Robert. "I ain't afraid of them fake ass goons you roll with. Fuck them yo! We all know what you do Dena.. or should I say Freaky Deekey Dee? If I had an 8-ball you wouldn't be coming at me like that. Now would you? Fucking crackhead ho. Yeah, you would be sucking my dick so you need to watch your fucking mouth bitch before I turn you and your daughter out".

Dena shakes her head and says in a low voice: I give up- be grown in Boot Camp- that's who I'm calling right now! Dena walked home then yelled for Boyd. "Make sure your brother and sister eat and you can have Yolanda's plate". Boyd smiled as Landa watched Dena slam the door... Robert, Yolanda and Harper heard Dena yelling "YALL DON'T THINK YOU CAN ACT LIKE HER! I'LL BE DAMNED! I'LL KICK ALL YALL OUT! MOMMY IS TIRED! I HAVE NO TIME FOR NO BAD ASS KIDS! ACT UP IF YOU WANNA.. SHE GOT ME FUCKED UP BUT I GOT SOMETHING FOR THAT ASS!"

Harper turned to Yolanda and made fun of her getting yelled at. "Haha! She said you're going to Boot Camp!" Man, fuck that bitch! Pass that shit back this way. You hugging it and worrying about my business. What are you doing? Pass it! Come on! You play too much.

I was talking shit to him while thinking 'I'll go to boot camp then come back and stomp her out. I fucking hate her'. Robert interrupted my thoughts by saying "Aye Landa, ya momz is trippin' but don't sweat that. You know I'ma hold you down". I just hit the blunt and replied Fuck her, she got problems. What's the move for tonight? (I just wanted to get away from that alley.) & at the time I would've went anywhere as long as I was with Robert.

Robert was 16. He didn't talk much. He was a thug that I thought was my happily ever after. Extremely tall with chunky cornrow braids. A tatted up, high yellow bone with hazel eyes. All of the girls hated on me because I was his down ass bitch. I was wifey. Numero uno! Sadly, back then I was glad to be addressed as so.

Young and dumb... If he needed me to beat a bitch up- I did that. I held his dope so the cops wouldn't bust him. I went through a lot because of him. I put myself at risk many times for him. Thinking that I was in love.

Whenever you see Rob, you see Harper. Dope dealers with five babies between the two of them. They even share a baby mama! Just straight clowns pretending to be hardcore.. and that's who I decided to hang around at the time. Enough of reminiscing about him..

I never returned home. For two days after my mother threatened me with Boot Camp, I stayed at a friends' house. I couldn't stay with Robert because his grandma didn't play that. Plus he didn't hold me down like he claimed he would. During the day I would run with Robert and his crew. We would constantly get into trouble. I could write a whole book on that alone.

At night I would go to my homegirl's crib to talk on the phone with Robert until we fell asleep. I wish that I knew that those were my last days being on the outside. I obviously didn't take my mother seriously. I went around town acting out- not having a care in the world.

Until..

******************************

I know you want to know about my experience of being locked up. I'm getting to it. The time in the alley was back in August 1999. Dena gave in. She let her child get out of control. Plus my smart mouth & attitude landed me in a few juvenile detention centers... The first was the Correctional Behavioral Development Center better known as CBDC in California.

I am a Cali girl! I know you wonder where in California. Well, I'm from a little bit of everywhere.. Mama moved us around a lot.. Especially after meeting Clark Chad.. but that's another subject for another chapter. Back to me for now!

I am Black and Irish- caramel ting (yes t-i-n-g) with curly light brown hair down the middle of my back. My eyes are green like my father's. I have sad eyes like my mother though. It is crazy because when I was little, my eyes were brown like my mother's. When I turned 11 they turned green like my father's. When I am upset they are a green brown hazel mixture! I am the perfect, beautiful mix of my parents. I am medium height and very shapely for a 13 year old. A very pretty girl but I had no guidance. Mom was in the streets. Plus being a daddyless daughter didn't help. Grieving and acting out for attention.

Looking back, I now realize that there was no excuse to be out there in the streets the way that I was. And it is definitely not okay for any older guy to be with a child. Robert was wrong. Anyway, I am far from innocent but who can judge?

It is crazy how those who are the most screwed up choose to talk trash about others. Forever plotting... Speaking of... B&C at CBDC always had something up their sleeves. Oh, who are B&C? Bruce and Cornelius- owners of CBDC. I had no issues with them until January of 2000. Five months after being at their center.

YOLANDA THOMAS! Do you hear me? Bruce yelled at the top of his lungs. "Siryessir" Landa replied in a very low voice. I can't fucking hear you! "SIR! YES! SIR!" Oh! Are you trying to be cute with me? "Siryessir," Yolanda said in her normal voice. Oh you are- Well, I got something for your smart ass. CORNELIUS! We got a little cutie here trying to show out! Show her how we get down in this motherfucker. Cornelius says, "Oh, what's her name?" YOLANDA THOMAS sir! Landa answers quickly.

Cornelius got in her face and said, "I wasn't talking to you. You only speak to me when I tell you to". He turned to Bruce saying, Little Yoyo wants to play games I see. She will be hurting fucking with me. Then he faces her- telling her in a menacing voice- I'ma work you 'til you CRACK! "Yessir Sir" she said sarcastically.

Oh, you think it's a damn joke? Get out there- he points outside- give me 1,000 push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, and.. and... WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO DO! No food, bathroom breaks or sleep until you realize who runs this show. "Man fuck this shit yo" Make that FIVE thousand, Cornelius yells as Bruce chuckles. Bruce pushes her out of the door then locks it behind her.

******************************

Yolanda thinks to herself- "His bitch made ass called me Little Yoyo! Only my daddy calls me Yoyo! They want to see me show out. They haven't seen anything yet." She starts to think of her dad & that makes her sad. "I won't cry in front of them though! I bet you that."

B&C watched her outside with a scowl on her face running laps outside in the snow. Out of all of the days California had to snow- it decided to pour down that day in January. Just my fucking luck. Cornelius tried to break me, yelling out random things for me to do.. STAND ON ONE FOOT AND SAY THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS! "Z, y, x" LOUDER!.. "W! V! U! T!"

She is very athletic & loves to constantly be in motion.. plus she's stubborn and intelligent. Bruce & Cornelius notices and after five hours they give up. Bruce handed her a coat and told her to go to bed. She was red in the face but she still had a mean mug on her face with her head held high. Cornelius rolled his eyes at her.

They realized that if she stayed then the other kids would follow her defiant lead & potentially lead the center.. Possibly controlling the owners! So they came up with a scheme. So much for ethical morals. Respect went out the window as well..

She's tough, I gotta give her that, Bruce said with a worried look on his face. "Yea, we need to get her out of here. She won't run our shit. She needs to go to Bumble's". Right! see how tough she is there. You always come up with the best ideas Cornelius. Bruce moves closer to him. "Shit, even the little troops here are scared of her but I AIN'T & them kids at Bumble's SHO' nuff ain't gonna take her shit!" said Cornelius as he paced back and forth. Bruce said, But she is bad as fuck though. "Don't worry my Brucie boo, she'll be crawling back to CBDC CRYING! Lol" They share a laugh and kiss. Yolanda was listening and watching the whole time.

She eventually went to her bedroom and cried for the rest of the night. She had a dream that night. "It will be okay Yoyo. You are headed to the very place where you are supposed to be". She jumped up out of her cot. Daddy is that you? She wiped her eyes and saw her father sitting in a rocking chair across from her. "I love you baby girl". I love you too Daddy. The tears fell harder down her face...

The next morning, Bruce called the Bumble's juvenile detention center owned by Mike and his cousin Barbara Bumble. "Hello. Thank you for calling the Bumble's Center- the place where Juvenile delinquents become top flight citizens of the country! How may I direct your call?" Yes, may I speak to Miss Barbara Bumble? I am calling from the Correctional Behavioral Detention Center in Silk Moat, California. "She is not in at the moment sir but I can direct you to Mr. Mike Bumble". Yes that will be fine. "Please hold"...

******************************

It took some time but eventually Bruce set it up for Yolanda to be transferred to Bumble's- the strictest juvie joint in the country.. or so they claimed. First they had to wait until a bed became available. This decision will forever change her life... I failed out of CBDC after eight and a half months of being there. I was released, quickly becoming a Cali girl being shipped to Boston. The West View neighborhood of Boston, Massachusetts to be exact.

They did not tell Dena until after I was already on the second plane. She basically gave up her parental rights anyway.. kinda sorta.. I found myself with a plastic bag of my belongings, on a yellow school bus that drove to the airport. Then along with three other kids; I boarded the plane. I did not know exactly where I was headed. I was scared and alone. I didn't let them see me being worried though. The whole trip I just remained silent and thought of happy thoughts.

It was the end of April. Both coasts were beautiful around this time. I think I have visited family on the East Coast before when I was younger.. In Virginia maybe.. I don't know. I just remember telling myself I must remain strong. I think of my father as my eyes shut.

We are dancing.

We are flying.

We are together.

******************************

EVERYBODY STAY CLOSE TOGETHER! I jumped up and grabbed my bag as the security guard yelled. I quickly got in line and got off of the plane. IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE RESTROOM GO NOW! Four or five hours had to have went by. I looked up and saw a sign saying Welcome to Chicago. My stomach started to churn. Not Chi-town! Thankfully two girls got off of the plane onto a bus for the Chicago detention center.

Myself and the other girl left climbed onto a bus and ended up in Columbus, Ohio. I don't remember much from that bus ride since I was dozing off during the whole trip. We ate then the last flight from Ohio to Boston came. The plane ride was short. I was wide awake the whole time. The girl across from me was chewing her nails off. I never saw her again. I didn't ask any questions. I decided it was best to stay to myself...

I took a bus, a plane, another bus then a second plane all to get to Bumble's. The full trip took almost a full day. I knew that things would be different when I heard Dena's voice. She visited me a few times at CBDC during my first few weeks there. I refused to open my mouth to speak to her. She sent me away. I felt like I did not owe her any words.

In Ohio the guards called Dena to tell her that I was on my way to Bumble's in Boston.. I heard her yelling. "WHAT? This is a joke right? You must have the wrong number. My daughter is in California at CBDC". I listened as one guard tries to explain to her that he had specific orders to call and tell her the important information. I am only trying to do my job ma'am. "No! Who is your boss? I'm calling that motherfucker!" The guard says, My boss is Mr. Mike Bumble. Then he hands the phone to the other guy and says, Talk to her before I cuss her out and hurt her feelings.

Mrs. Thomas, we work for Bumble's the juvenile detention in Boston and we have your daughter Yolanda Thomas here. She is currently in Columbus, Ohio about to board a plane to Boston, Massachusetts. We cannot discuss much now but a package was sent to your home in California months ago. It contained all of the necessary information about her transfer. It also said that if you did not sign the papers and send them back to both CBDC & Bumble's that matters would be placed into the hands of Bruce & Cornelius. You did not sign the papers so now she is being processed into Bumble's today.

"I don't live there anymore! How can you just take her without my permission? I am her mother!" You were called but they did not get a response. We all have been trying to reach you for months. "This number was cut off back then but it's on now. Yall called me after my child is across the country. That is so fucked up. I will be calling Mr. Bumble and complaining!" I will give you the number now.

He gave her the number and she asked to speak with me but they denied her request. They told her that she could call me in a week. He hung up and I hung my head. I thought to myself 'This is starting off crazy already'...

******************************

I listened closely to Bruce & Cornelius often. Little did they know, I overheard them talking about the Bumble Family from Georgia. They have been born-bred millionaires since the 1770's. They always opened businesses that will last for centuries. People need certain things to survive. Each and every one of us. The Bumble's invested in these needs. You need water? Shelter? Food? Gas for your car? A break from your ill mannered children? They had exactly what you need. The family is huge and each person owns a different establishment. Even the newborns are bosses.

Bruce told Cornelius that if you go to the Bumble's juvenile center and you are nice- then they'll be nice to you. If you are mean then they'll be mean right back- ya know. They talked about how at Bumble's you are called a cupcake. It is to put delinquents in their place- to humble them. The less hardcore you appeared to be, the better.

So, I was very nice- except for when someone would try to disrespect my gangsta- you know I wasn't going out like no fool! I made sure to get on Mike's good side from the start though. Since Bruce said that he really controls the place. "Barbara doesn't even lift a finger. Mike is the one who keeps that place afloat". They had schemes but so did I.

I mean, the place was called Bumble's and the door had a huge bee on it. I felt like I was walking to my first day of daycare. I knew that I could run the joint. No doubt. I saw land stretched out longer than three football fields. I remember thinking to myself 'All of this will be mine soon. If I have to live here then I will live comfortably'.

Speaking of being comfortable.. The other girl was handcuffed when we landed. I was not. So I felt free. Ironic enough. She was walked to a different section of campus. Yeah, it looked like a huge daycare but they called it a campus. I had a female officer walk me into the main office. She called Mike on the walkie-talkie then they processed me in.

I saw a short, muscular white guy walk towards me with a baseball cap on. He was smiling extra hard. He looked very goofy. They talked for what felt like hours. Then I heard gates opening. The lady officer walked me down a hallway. It was the longest hallway I have ever seen. I smelled fresh paint.

Walking... walking... I was scared out of my mind. Walking...

We entered an empty room at the end of the long ass hallway. She stripped my clothes off then showered me. She was talking the whole time but I could not focus on anything. I was supposed to come here and convince the kids that I was a hardcore thug. I could not even manage to process a thought at that point. Who could I fool?

"We have to undress and shower you guys to make sure you don't sneak anything in. Then you have some that don't even shower at all. You are such a pretty girl. It's a shame that you ended up here. Only 13 years old. Well almost 14. Sad. You are grown for your age though. Oh, I see that you have hair down there. Do you need pads? We can't give you tampons. It's crazy but the strangest things can become weapons." I shook my head no as she continued to ramble and wash me. "Yeah, the girls here try to turn everything into a weapon.. or a dildo"...

After that embarrassing experience, I was given two khaki outfits. "One for school.." She handed me an outfit with my name stitched on the shirt. Y. Thomas. "One for play". The play clothes were dirty and did not have my name on them. I received clean underwear and paper shoes. "I will let you dress yourself. You are so quiet. I am sure we won't have any trouble out of you. The toothbrush and soap goes with me until your wash time tomorrow morning. You come to me for any toiletries you may need. After 30 days you get regular clothes. They are donated by the church. Now it's time for you to meet the cupcakes!" She gave me a big smile and that's when I snapped out of my "pity party" mood. I had to put on a tough face before meeting the others. First impressions are everything right? Plus I had to focus on my mission of ruling the place.

(thinking to myself) I could think straight if she would shut the fuck up! "Yes, you saw Mike. Mike Bumble. He was in the army for 12 years. He is so fine! He owns Bumble's. The other owner is his cousin Miss Barbara Bumble. Her daddy left her the company. You only see her if you're in deep shit.." I met her once but we'll get to that later on. "Over there is where you will eat and your classrooms are in that building as well. We have a chapel and so much more. I am sure you noticed how big this place is! Why aren't you talking? Girl you better say something. You don't want to go to the padded rooms". I ignored her. Another long hallway.

Walking... walking... walking... walking.

******************************

YOU! Come here NOW! What is your name? "Yolanda" Oh, so that's it? When I ask you a question, I want a WHOLE answer- now let's do this again.. I saluted him as I yelled "YOLANDA L'NORE THOMAS sir!" Oooh, I like you- I'ma call you Lala Cupcake. Yeah! Here at Bumble's we treat you like you are at home. "Oh Lord". Mike laughed and said, EXACTLY! we'll either tear you apart or we'll love you tenderly. I replied "YAY!" (sarcastically) Mike laughed extremely hard. As he slapped his knee I looked around. The woman guard was gone. I noticed bedrooms. So far so good. Mike likes me. Now on to the hard part. Winning over the cupcakes..

******************************

Bumble's only accepted 20 students at a time. Eight kids were locked up in a different part of the campus. The eight were either waiting to be released for their return back home or released to enter adult jail. I never met them. Well, except that girl from my trip from Cali to Boston. I saw the others sometimes when I would go to class. They would walk around a separate part of campus. Down the hill was their section. They had their own dorms, buses, classrooms, cafeteria, etc. They were the real thugs. I am glad that I did not talk to that girl from the bus and plane trip.

Bumble's also had a padded room for violent kids. In my area, up the hill, we had it made! The lower floors were for the newbies and minor criminals. When you turn 17 you are moved to the upper level floors. You get your own room. Your last year at Bumble's is supposed to be your best.

We were treated like babies. Some found it to be embarrassing but I loved it. If you were extra good you could have a cabin to yourself! Everything was monitored of course, but I made sure that I was always on my best behavior. At least when Mike was watching.

Speaking of Mike.. I am sure you are wondering about the other 12 kids. Well, 11 others plus me.. You might even want to know how things went when I first met the other cupcakes. Okay, alright- I'll tell you! After Mike laughed hysterically, a siren went off. I saw doors open up behind me. A group of boys ran from across the street. They entered the female's dorm. Eleven children got into line- boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy..

"Now, we have eleven little cupcakes here, you're number twelve Lala- so here's the gang: Rome, Chris, Zack, Max, Luiz & Peter. Then, we have the crew which you'll be a part of mostly- Bonita, Shavaun, Lydia, Sira & Everly- Make FRIENDS because you will be here for a LONG time... The full staff will be in tomorrow- I'll introduce you to them then. For now just get acquainted with your new crew".

******************************

I smiled and said, Hey! What's good everybody? I started to introduce myself but Bonita interrupted me. "So, what's your name chica?" Yolan.. "Oh, no.. I meant your nickname. Around here we have nicknames like we're in a movie". Um, Mike calls me Lala Cupcake. "Oh that's HOT mami, well I'm Nini Cupcake. Never call me Bonita please". Okay Nini. I.. (she continued to interrupt me)

"Here's Vauni Cupcake, Lili Cupcake, Rara Cupcake & Eevie Cupcake. You will share a room with Vauni. My roommate is Eevie. Then Lili and Rara are roomies". Thank you.. I didn't know what else to say. She was just so... chipper. It threw me all the way off. Then I heard the most annoying voice ever right by my ear. "Hi Lala! Our names are almost the same! I am Lili". Before I could stop myself, I heard BITCH PLEASE! You will never be the same as me and back the fuck up! You don't know me like that to be all on me like that.

What can I say? I had anger issues back then. She just irritated me. Then Nini and all of her "taking control- interrupting me- and being happy" vibes. I snapped. Lili said, "Well excuse me". I heard Rara laugh. Eevie gave me a stank look and Vauni just looked lost in space. I guess I fucked my introduction with them up. Oh well! I noticed that the fellas left as soon as Mike left.

Nini said, "Well, you know our names now.. You can ask the dudes about them.. we don't talk to them much.. they're weird.. but don't talk to Max. That's Eevie's man". She looked scared of me. Good! I saw Eevie roll her eyes at me before she went into her room. Shit was super awkward. By now everyone was gone except for Rara, me and Nini.

Well, okay, I'll go over there then. Nice talking to ya... I didn't mean that but I was not thinking straight. I never really got along with other females. It is always too much pressure. If you breathe the wrong way then you are automatically kicked out of the "it club". It is all fucking stupid to me. I gladly skipped across the street to the guys' dorms. Not caring that I was being watched...

******************************

Hey guys, I'm Lala, um, Cupcake.. I heard most of them say 'HEY'. & I said, So, what are all of your names? "I'm Rome. This is P, Zack, Lu, X & Cee". Oh! You all have such nice names! I said in my 'sexy voice'. "Yea, you too Lala um Cupcake". I noticed that Rome was a smartass. I smiled and told him, HEY! I didn't come up with it, Mike did! & if you want to joke around then bring it on! I nudged him lightly on the shoulder as I said bring it on.

"Oooh, I like you Ma. You're tough". You damn straight Pa' & don't you ever forget either! I'ma CRAZY muthafucka & I let them bitches over there know it too! I was talking tough shit- thinking that I was impressing them. "Oh! I REALLY like you now, what about you fellas?" He asked the guys. I heard P say Yea, she's cool or whatever. Chris aka Cee said No! Zack said Yeah while X yelled sho' nuff! Lu shook his head no and said "Na fuck that! She weak bruh". Rome smacked him in the mouth.

"Well, um Luscious Lala, what I say goes so you are cool with us- them other bitches ain't- if YOU ever need anything just let me know alright?" I said okay and smiled at Rome. Lu went into the corner rubbing his face. I loved how Rome had so much power. He was so fly. All of the girls wanted him- especially Lili. She was obsessed with Rome. Most of the time I was at Bumble's I hung out with the fellas. That made her hate me even more. Plus he didn't give her the time of day but he was constantly flirting with me.

He said "I like how you filling out that khaki suit too". Then I said, I bet! What else do you like? I stuck my tongue out at him. "Oh I definitely like that". You do? I gave him my best innocent girl act. We laughed. Then I heard a loud buzz. GUYS HEAD OVER TO IDA'S! "Shit! We gotta go to counseling with Miss Ida. You'll have to bounce before she catches you over here". Okay, good looking out big daddy. I'll holla back. "Mm damn girl you better leave before you fuck around and make me get us both into trouble". I smiled and winked.

"It was such a pleasure meeting you", Rome said as he kissed my hand. I almost lost my balance. All I could say was "Same". I noticed how I was frozen there looking dumb so I said well bye Rome! Bye guys! Lu get some ice for that mouth... Lu looked at his feet as they all left the room. I heard Max and Pete talk about how fine Ida is. P said "Yo, I would fuck the dog shit out of her!" You and me both my guy. She can get it fa' sho! I ran across the street noticing a model-type looking in my direction. That can't be Ida!

******************************

I got situated in my bed. When I first arrived the bed springs poked my back up. You get used to it after awhile & it strangely starts to feel like home... No matter how much you try to fight it. Vauni was on her side of the room- writing. Then she looked up and said, "If you ever need your hair done I can hook you up. You must be mixed because you got some pretty ass hair". I said thank you and actually my hair matches my mother's.. She is Black. It is just a little lighter than hers but we both have long, curly hair. "Damn for real? I never met a black girl with nice hair". My mother is natural so... "My hair does what it wants that's why I keep it cut short. My shit be looking raggedy". Your hair looks nice to me. "Damn girl, thank you. I thought you would be a prissy bitch! I got me a cool ass roommate finally!" She let out a big laugh. I jumped. "You alright girl?" You startled me. "Oh yeah.. My laugh... that's my REAL laugh. I only let that out around people I fucks with". Well I am honored. "You alright Lala! You are all right!".

Vauni kept my hair fly! She really knew how to do hair. "I was going to go to Beauty School and have my own salon one day. Then I landed in here. You know mothafuckas ain't ever gonna hire us or let us into school right?" Damn for real? "Fuck no.. but I wouldn't take the shit back. He had it coming to him..." She gave that 'lost in space' look again.

She had a messed up outlook on life.. But if you lived her life then you would understand. We quickly clicked! My homegirl is so beautiful! I never really rolled with the females of Bumble's. Most of them were too annoying.. But Vauni was funny and fun to be around! She is from many different towns like me but when they picked her up, she was in Boston.

Vauni was super short and chunky. Her hair was always laid- no matter what color it was. She often wore gray contacts. A medium brown Black girl with a big laugh. She didn't take anybody's shit. She is my bestie! I opened up to her quickly and that shit is rare for me. She has such an old soul though. Reminds me of daddy.

She almost killed a guy. He tried to kill her while she was turning tricks so she poisoned him. He was her pimp. Stupid of him to have her cook for him. He should've known that she would try to get him back. "Pimps don't die Lala. That bastard wouldn't croak. Then he snitched on me! He made a deal with them to send me here so he can keep an eye on me". Damn..

Her life as a prostitute provided many interesting stories. Another reminder that I did not have it as hard as others. We would talk for hours. About life.. About love... About everything.

Speaking of talking a lot.. Bonita is the chipper, talkative Cuban. Oh my bad. Nini cupcake. She was in because she was apart of a gang. She was caught with guns. She has a tattoo on her arm representing her set. I heard her tell Eevie that her boyfriend made her join. "Yeah they jumped me in. I wasn't about to fuck the whole crew. Look. I got this scar from when he cut me.. Yeah he had to or they wouldn't let us in the group.. but I know he loves me".

Lydia or Lili cupcake is a bitch! She is a white girl from Idaho. I never really paid much attention to her but I know that she has a baby. That's what she would talk about the most. I never knew what she was in for but I'm guessing stealing.. she always magically had new shit that looked a lot like some of the other girls' things. One thing I know is nobody liked her!

Sira a.k.a Rara cupcake is Indian. Yes, from India. She was cool and quiet but you gotta watch them quiet ones. She likes to burn shit up and she is a runaway. Then there was Everly. Eevie cupcake.. Her crazy ass attacked her teacher. Why? I do not know but she is a skinny Trini gal from Ohio. Always creating a shank out of the most insane shit. She is the complete opposite of Rara. Eevie is extremely loud! Her and Nini were tight. Put those two together and it's never silent.

******************************

When it comes to the fellas, I rolled with Rome and Peter. The group of me, P, Vauni and Rome is one that I am proud to say I am a part of! If you haven't noticed I was feeling Rome. Of course he was feeling me too. Whereas Eevie and Nini were talkative- Rome and P moved in silence. Rome runs the pack. He is quiet but stern and Pete says even less.. They chilled in the background watching everybody else make a fool of themselves. The loudest one in the room is the biggest clown. That's one of many things that Rome taught me.

He is Nigerian. Well, he was born in the States. His mom is Black from the USA. His Dad is from Nigeria. So he is African to me! A strong Black man! I can't resist that brown skin. He blows my mind! From the start I knew that he was someone special.

When I met him he was 15; wearing a red Kung Fu shirt and black jeans donated from the chapel. Even with his dirty Adidas on, he captured my heart. Rome has short, curly, dark brown hair with dark black eyes that pierce your soul. Don't get me started on his dimples, skin so milk chocolate and pearly white teeth! Oh my gosh! I will be here all day talking about how sexy he is to me. On top of all of that, he is tall with muscles. The man of my dreams!

Plus he is a great friend. He and Peter are true friends to one another. Something you rarely see anymore. His homeboy Peter exudes the definition of white boy swag! He is medium height with tattoos. P always had money and nice clothes. Dark brown hair that hung over his ears. Brown eyes. Athletic build. Him and Rome always hit up the gym. P always looked sad though..

I didn't really pay attention to anybody else but there was Max a.k.a. X. Asian guy who got locked up for graffiti crimes. It made sense why he was always drawing. He was a hood ass Chinese dude! Zacharius or Zack.. a redheaded, domestic violence offender with a short temper. His hair was always sticking up and he was tall as fuck! He was roommates with Chris.

Chris was a fat ass racist with blonde hair and blue eyes. Of course.. Cee cupcake. He always made unnecessary comments. It was funny when Rome stomped him out after he made monkey noises when Rome walked past him that one time. Anyway he had glasses and was from Alabama. Luiz or Lu cupcake was caught up in the underground world. A short Mexican with his front tooth missing. He was X's roomie. Lu and Cee were my two least favorite people out of the guy's crew.

******************************

I met them all on April 30th, 2000. It was a Sunday. The next day came quickly. I was hanging with Rome and P. I had yet to be introduced to the staff. My first night was not as hard as when I first entered CBDC.. I cried all night when I first got there.. but at Bumble's I was more than used to being away from home. I found it refreshing to be so far away at first. I kept one eye open the whole night through though. My mind was full of thoughts of how I would be 14 soon!

I had less than three weeks to go!

So, we got a schedule & ish? I asked Pete. I saw Rome looking through his things trying to find his schedule. He needed to know what time he had to go in for his session with Ida. I heard him scream DAMN WHERE IS IT?! I really need to talk to her today. If I missed my session I'ma have to wait! Fuck that! I need to talk to her today... "Yea," Peter replied. I asked him, Who is Ida? She sounds old.. He perked up and said, "Oh, she's SO nice, you'll love her".

******************************

I left their dorm shortly and went into Mike's office to get my schedule. I had a session with Miss Ida at 5 p.m. right after Rome.. "You're Yolanda Thompson right? We usually go by ABC order on the weekdays, unless there's a special exception.. So you would go today at 5 after Jerome Thompson". No, Mike, I'm Lala Thomas. Remember? We met yesterday.. "Oh! It's Thomas. Okay I will make changes now and starting next week your session times will swap with Rome's. I do apologize Lala". Oh it is okay. I understand you are a hard-working man. Thank you so much!

I grabbed my schedule that came with school supplies. Then I walked out of the office as Mike blushed. Back then I didn't know how to talk to a real man but I knew how to stroke an ego or two. It was so easy to keep Mike wrapped around my finger. I saw how the staff treated him like a nerd. Everyone feared Barbara but mistreated poor Mike. I knew that I could benefit greatly from being nice to him.

I had so much to learn. My sessions with Ida put me in uncomfortable situations. Lessons learned and goals accomplished. One of the biggest lessons I learned from her was to not live life in fear. My problem was fearing what I did not know.

Why live life scared of the what ifs? It was there at Bumble's where I learned to not fear what could be. I learned to just live for the moment.. To learn from the mistakes of my past and constantly continue to set myself up to be a better me in the future! Yes my life was hard but at that moment I was in a place where I was receiving help. Someone was looking out for me.

During my full arrival, someone was watching me.. Ida.. When I first arrived at Bumble's I had sessions with her everyday. After my first 30 days were up, the sessions came depending on my needs. Some weeks I needed help more than others. Ida was nowhere near old. I learned my lesson from assuming that I knew someone based off of their name..

We focused mostly on my anger at first though. I liked the breathing techniques. Back then I didn't realize how much intensity I kept bottled up inside of me. When I wanted to give up on myself- Ida was one of the few who would look out for me. She put her foot down and that's what I needed back then. I did not have my mother around. Even though she wasn't much older than me- Ida became like a mother figure to me.

"Hello Yolanda, I'm Miss Ida"... She is one of the reasons why I am still going strong today! Thank you Miss Ida. "I thoroughly went through your files. I know that you are here because you were too much for CBDC.. So the first thing I'm going to let you know is- don't think you'll run us over here at Bumble's.. We can be your best friends or your worst enemies... or both. It all depends on you".

I know.. I mean yes ma'am.. Um, I'm buckling down. "Good, and the second thing is- I know you're new here but it is prohibited for you to go into the boys' dorms.. (I tried to talk but she held her hand up and I closed my mouth) "I don't need your excuses. It's about listening sometimes.. You don't always have to explain yourself Miss Lala"..

..Then she gave me a smile that let me know that she was not trying to be rude.. but yet nurturing.. helpful..

I found myself blurting out: P was right! I do love you! I was embarrassed until she said, "Ah yes. Mr. Jones, I love him too. I love all of my cupcake babies!" Now I know what it means when the movies say 'she has a velvety voice.. So soothing'. "So now that we got that out the way, let's start our session"...

Miss Ida was a Child Psychologist from Lebanon. 22 years young. She could have been a supermodel. She had no body fat whatsoever! She said that her passion was to help adolescents instead. I told her that if I was her- I would be on some wealthy guy's private jet somewhere- not trying to help some bad ass kids!

I am still trying to figure out how she kept her stick figure. She always ate during our sessions. She always made it feel like we were homegirls too.. just having a regular ole convo!

"It's alright.. No judgment here. Let it out. We can do breathing exercises if need be". Okay, I'll try to express how I feel. I can't promise any miracles. (Deep sigh) She just.. gave up. He was supposed to be her world. How can I believe in love when my parents- the sweethearts- clearly didn't have a real love? He wasn't even in the urn yet and she was out being a fucking ho! I saw my mom sucking dick for a crack rock when I was 4 years old! Why should I respect her? I hate her!

Ida never interrupted. She would let me talk.. I was being heard.. and not judged.. or yelled at.. I know that's her job but I needed that! My sessions with Miss Ida really helped me. I remember telling Vauni "I feel so much better and I've only been here for a little while! This place shits on CBDC. I love Ida-I (that's a corny nickname we gave her)" I was Lala-la and Vauni was Vauni-vaun.

My girl Vauni nudged me as Lili walked towards us yelling LALA! THE PHONE'S FOR YOU! "Who the fuck is it?" Your mom, Dena. "I'm not here". I heard Lili tell my mom that I said I wasn't there.. she told me to tell you she wasn't here. I'm hanging up now. Bye! Dena let out an angry sigh... So did Lala.

"Why would that bitch say that? She don't know how to lie? DAMN!" You'll have to talk to her sometime La, said Rome. He had just walked out of the cafeteria when Lili yelled across the game room. "Shut up Rome Cupcake"! He picked me up and put me on the pool table. "HEY! What you doing? Oh, you wanna play, OK!" We started to play fight...

I noticed Ida looking at me. She seemed upset. I told my crew I would check them later. "What's up Ida-I! What's goi-" She cut me off and told me to come with her to her office. "I know what you're going to say".. She got on me about not talking to my mother. We got special privileges to answer calls.. or not to, in my case. I know that everything she was saying was right. I was just young and hard headed at the time. I wish I knew then what I know now..

Well, Miss Ida is the first I in my title INSPIRED- she deserves it! She taught me so much! Even though I tried to front back then, well now, here's my thank you! I can't pretend that counseling is bogus. If you have the right person helping you then you can accomplish what seems to be impossible. Through meditation, counseling, praying and more- I found myself. Ida helped me more than she knows.

She inspires me to always work at being a stronger, better version of myself. Also to not be quick to judge or run my mouth. I learned how to effectively talk about my issues too.. and to not be ashamed of them. When I had no one to talk to she was there. She inspires me to work at helping others help themselves! That's another thing that I carry with me even today! I appreciate you Miss Ida. Thank you for inspiring me!

******************************

The next woman is also kind of like a mother figure.. If your mom hangs out with you and your friends.. and acts like a teenager. I can't lie- She did teach me a lot about things that my mom would never be caught dead talking about.. Things every female should know about...

Even though she is crazy as hell. She still inspires me today..

*This book is available now for purchase on sale in paperback and e-book form*

RYTINGS: BOOK 2

We are all books. Let's try not judging a person by their appearance or a book by its cover, you will want to read a few pages inside before you get a complete idea of how well you love [or don't love] what comes with the package. ~Dr. Ryte

Rytings: Book 2 by Dr. Ryte is the explosively inspirational collection book is part 2 to the 2016 loved Rytings: Book 1. It consists of 30 deep, intense & intoxicating rytings (writings) about growing up, ups and downs, love, relationships & so much more! This book also includes teasers of more works by Dr. Ryte! It comes with a collection of stories, poems, songs, creative writing, haiku, deep thoughts, inspirational quotes and more. Enjoy Rytings: Book 2 and if you haven't already- read Book 1. More exhilarating content will be coming soon by BonaFideZen. Visit bonafidezen.com for more! Thanks for supporting BFZ. Stay blessed!

ALL ABOUT ME

I had to realize that it's not all about me

I've been avoiding writing

Thinking that I had no inspiration

When there are people out there

Who need help inspiration motivation love

That's what this movement is all about

My service to others

Helping others helps me

But it is not all about me

It's about the BFZ Fam members who show love

The ones saying thank you for discussing "our issues"

Putting a light on what they try to keep in the dark

This is for those who read my material & smile

Their days get brighter

They see or hear my words & spread the positivity all around the world

This is for those saying 'I give it a few weeks before BFZ is dead & gone'

Thank you

You inspire me

It's not all about me

This is for you

All of you

Thank you for allowing me to share my gifts with the world

I'm here &

I'm not going anywhere

FALLING

Falling face first on my roots, surrendering to the breeze, being the Queen that I am, gaining knowledge from my family tree

My generation mostly don't listen, but I'm trying to stay woke, refusing to fall into the deep abyss, starting to fix all that is broke

We feel like we don't matter, but we all do, it's so easy to fuck up, I'm just doing what feels true

Falling down, being humble, never stop fighting, when it's time to rumble

Spiritually growing, allowing my soul to make love to my brain, my heart sings, as I stop losing & begin to gain

YOU THOUGHT

You thought 10 years of me being away had you hurting

This is about to be the coldest longest Winter yet

2017 & on is officially fallback season

You can look but in me you had the ultimate best

They will serve you hot cocoa and wrap you in a warm coat

You'll think of how I set a fire to your soul

You were never cold when I was around

I know the tears are falling down now

I am the only one to completely feed you inside and out

Those other girls will never know what that's about

You made your choice and that was that

I'm my best alone so Ima enjoy falling back

I'm getting back to me

Now here you come messaging me thinking it's cool

I just want to know what about me says

That I'm a damn fool

Fallback game strong

Don't come to me trying to tell

Me about how she did you dirty

All I can say is I wish you well

I send a prayer out for you

& cheer you on in spirit

But me & you ever being anything ever again?

I'm not with it

Please leave me alone

Forever

When am I able to make time for you?

Never

Took years but this is the final stop

I'm married to BonaFideZen for many lifetimes

we'll have many babies together

Just stay tuned until next time...

You thought I was on my deathbed

You thought you were saving my life

You thought I was the best of the best

That part you got right

But let me tell ya ass this

& this is on some truthful shit

I am very much alive & well honey

& you will never ever again hear from me

Update: if you're not my mom, bro or homegirls

Then you'll never know where I'm at in this world

Because I've left

& I'm never coming back

Falling back

One of the many things I do best

*Available for purchase today!*

ANGELIC & HEAVENLY

Okay! Dr. Ryte here! This is a book I am currently working on! It is Kyi's story full of wild experiences of dangerously kissing many frogs.. Will she find her prince.. Her king? True love? Or will she continue to luv recklessly? This story is intended for mature audiences only. Enjoy the teasers of Poppi's Jabari's & Rejo's influence on Kyi & stay tuned to find out more. More teasers & a release date will be available soon only at bonafidezen.com

2017 will be better than ever!

Feedback is always accepted!

*Aye Poppi

I asked him, "Are you sure about this"? He said, "Yeah! I'm on my way right now". I lied and said, "Alright. I'm ready". Love you Kyi. "Love you too". Bye. "Bye baby".

...20 minutes later...

Poppi showed up in his brand new ride. It was November. I remember it was a Friday. I had just got home from school and my mom told me I had a phone call. I ran to the phone and my boyfriend Poppi was on the line! He was calling to wish me a happy birthday! He told me he wanted to give me a special gift! He wanted us to make love for the very first time. I was a virgin and so was he.

We were young but we were very mature. I met him at a church out of town that my Grandma preached at from time to time. Long distance wasn't good for our hormones. All we talked about was seeing each other more. He called that Friday wanting to know if he could come get me and take me to his house so we could do the damn thing, finally! I wasn't ready. I was scared but pretended to be excited, experienced and prepared.

My mom said that I could spend the weekend at his place as long as his parents said that it would be okay. Of course she had no clue what we were really up to. She would have killed us both. As soon as we got the okay Poppi sped to my house.

He lived about 30 minutes away from me but he got to my crib in about 20. I've been to his place a few times before but it was always packed. He had 11 siblings. When we got to his place it looked very different. It had the romantic feel. It was also empty.

His family went out of town that weekend. He had a family that was "cool". They were open. They actually talked to each other and not at one another. He simply told them "I wanna spend time with my girl for her bday" and they gave him space. His mom left me a birthday gift. She owned a salon so I got a gift card for a mani-pedi! We had the house to ourselves but his older brothers were around. They had their own house behind Poppi's house. He told me "don't worry, we'll have complete privacy all weekend".

We walked to his room. Poppi had the lights off and candles burning. I felt a blindfold over my eyes. "Stay right here babe". I heard running then the fridge opening and closing. Then I felt his breath on my arm. I then felt hands all over me. I couldn't see but it felt so good. He took the blindfold off.

I saw his hand extended out towards me. I grabbed it and he led me to the balcony. I saw foods and massage oils. I said, "Oh you're ready huh"? He said, "Hell yeah! I never done this before but I will make sure that our first time is better than the movies". I blushed. "Ok Ima begin now, are you ready beautiful"? I said- of course- as my heart beated damn near out of my chest.

He began alright! He sat me up on the ledge and took off my clothes! He kept my high heels on though. He was already in his boxers and socks but I wanted to see all of him the way he was seeing all of me. So I got low. I began pulling his shorts off with my teeth. I laid him down and started to fondle his balls with my soft hands. His toes were curling, head spinning. He knew what was coming next because he asked "When I cum, where you want it? My bros said you're supposed to ask that".

I laughed and said either in my mouth or on my breasts, you decide. He was cheesing. His long, hard dick made me so wet. I never gave head before but I could handle it! I licked the head, he went crazy! I licked every inch of his dick. Real slow. Down to his nuts then back up to the head. I put the whole head in my mouth. I kept it right there for a few minutes until pre-cum came out. I savored my first taste of it. I have no clue how I knew what to do! I guess I'm just a pro! Nah, I watched porn but this was different. It felt so real. My first time- so romantic, so lovely- something I would always remember.

"Kyi! Are you there"? Damn. Can I confess something? My name is Kyi Ranguez and though I'm no virgin & I lost my virginity at a very young age- I don't remember my first time. What counts as your first time? I hoped this scenario was mine.. but the previous scenario is one made up during a phone sex session with my ex Poppi. Yes that's his real name. He did call me on my birthday but he didn't come pick me up. That night we talked about what we would have done "if life was perfect". Shall I continue the story? Okay! Well you'll have to purchase this book when it's available for more.

*'Locs & Lust

Now let me tell you about this next dude. I'm in my first year of college right & I'm walking from the cafeteria. He pops up and says "I think you forgot something". I immediately look around in my bag trying to see what I left behind as he says "my number". I gave him a look like boy bye. "Here you go sweetheart"... he handed me his phone. I rolled my eyes as I see his number on the screen. I pulled my phone out. "It's Jabari. Well they call me 'Locs. I rap and shit but what's ya name Miss Beauty". Kyi. I handed him his phone back. "Oh Kyi like sky huh? That's pretty. So what you getting into? Got class"?

We ended up going to the mall. I had to get a dress for a ceremony honoring honor students and he said he wanted to roll. So we hopped on the bus. I sent a text to my homegirls like This fool just following me around like deadass if I text yall the code word then come get me ASAP! If we were ever in any trouble & we sent the word CARMEN- that means CODE RED! EMERGENCY! It stands for Come and rescue me! Emergency! NOW! Get it?

Anyway it was the dead of winter when we took this mall trip. We entered a store and he took his coat with a fur hood off. He looked real good with his 'locs hanging until... He slipped into another coat that was on the rack. An elderly lady that was at the dressing room entrance looked at him over her glasses. He tells me "let's bounce" and I panic. I tell him "Hell no, go get your coat. She saw you". He started ripping off tags & I dashed into the sweatsuit aisle. She yelled out to him- YOU WANT TO TRY THAT ON? He was heading out of the store but turned & said "Ah yea but I'm looking for pants to match". He looked through some slacks then attempted to leave again and she said- Sir, come here!

He went to her area as my dumbass walked over and said "I'm going to pay for the coat ma'am. He doesn't need a dressing room- it clearly fits". I grabbed his arm and we headed to the checkout. I was really going to pay for it but as she got on the monitor calling security Jabari dashed for the front door. I should have left his stupid ass alone! Fuck! As I panic the woman walks to me & says I know it wasn't you dear- he's been in here stealing before. I offered money but the manager turned it down. He wanted Jabari locked up. The police tackled Jabari as I hid my face, paid for my clothes then left the mall. I was so embarrassed.

While I was waiting at the bus stop he threw his phone to me out of the cop car window and told me to call the number under "BM". Once again, me being dumb I tried to rescue him. I should have been typing CARMEN but I didn't even want to admit this to my girls. He yelled out "I'll call my cell when I can get a phone call. Call my BM! I'll be back on campus soon beauty". The window was rolled up and the squad car pulled away as the bus pulled up.

Everyone stared at me as the store manager handed me Jabari's coat & said "I definitely don't want that. It smells like someone soaked it in a reefer bath.. Young lady, you seem like one of the good ones. You should pick better friends". I wanted to yell out ONE OF THE GOOD ONES? YOU'RE RACIST AS FUCK & THAT DUDE AIN'T MY FRIEND! I MET HIM LIKE AN HOUR AGO but I just got on the bus... I called "BM" while I was on the bus. I figured the sooner the better. Again? & who are you? His new bitch? No. I'm a friend.. From.. Uh class. I'll go get him. That bus ride back to campus was terrifying. Now the story doesn't end there.

He eventually called me, well he called his cell phone & said he needed bail money. I should have been studying but.. For no reason at all, I called a cab & took my refund money to the bondsman- only to find out that bail had been posted & fully paid by his baby mama. "Okay sir. Well that's good to hear. He told me no one was going to get him out". We finally talked again a week after he was released. He got kicked off of campus and moved in with his son's mother. To my surprise he approached me with an attitude. "I can't fuck with you Kyi! You not loyal"! Dude did I not just try to get you out of jail?! "I ain't talking about that".

Word got back to him that a few days after the store ordeal, I started talking to Wolf. They had major beef. Wolf ruled campus but naïve little me- I didn't know of these turf wars. I just knew that Wolf had some good ass dick. So I fucked with him plus I hadn't even fucked on Jabari yet. Nobody had claim on me but let them tell it I was Jabari's girl that Wolf "took away". I figured since 'Locs was mad I'd make him smile... I let him throat fuck me in my dorm room. All he wanted to do was listen to Gucci Mane & get blunted so I added some head to the mix. My lips were swollen for three days after that. Somebody told Wolf that 'Locs was in my room & later that week Jabari ended up in the hospital.

I got a message a few days later to meet Wolf at his crib- he lived right off campus. "You still fuck with Jabari"? No. Somebody shot him. He been in the hospital but he text me that he getting back with his BM & he ain't coming to campus anymore. "Good, this my pussy now". I looked at the knife in his lap & said- all yours baby- as I got down on my knees. I would've said anything to stay on his good side. He was insane. He smiled & moved the knife- unbuckling his pants.

He went in my phone & got 'Locs number... I got yo bitch! She sucking my dick right now! Wolf gang! Southside! Jabari responds- Fuck outta here! Eastside! We sum Southside wolf killaz! She wuz on my dick 1st & she ate my ass lls!! Wolf pushed my head back... You ate that wannabe ass? "Hell na daddy, let me see that". I grab my phone & type OH REALLY 'BARI? I ATE YO ASS THO? He responds- Damn my bad Miss Beauty. When u tryna link up tho.. My girl leaving this weekend to get her micros done. Crib to myself! Slide thru. Wolf jumped up & grabbed his gun. I ran to the next room as he said "Lil git wanna disrespect me and my bitch he got to die". I was trying to have fun & get some booty. I had no idea what I had got myself into...

*Dr. Ryte here! That was wild right? Well Kyi did have a calmer, more romantic experience.. Keep reading for more juice!

*Life mate versus Soul mate

.....I know you're wondering about my first love Rejo! Well, well, well I had to save the best for last! I guess he had a change of heart. He didn't want to be my bro-bro anymore. Even though he knew I turned dudes & chicks out from all over the world- he took the time to teach me something very valuable. He taught me how to wait. He wanted to wait to approach me as more than a friend when the time was right. For years we watched each other deal with trifling ass folks. Rejo gave me everything better.

"Hey bro-bro"! What's up? How my Kyi-kyi doing? "Bored. Yo what you doing later today? I might be around that area". I ain't doing nothing today. Why? You tryna see me? You want me to come over there and give you some? "Haha you crazy"! I'm serious. I been dreaming of making love to you for years. "Okay then". You fa real?! I'll be too happy if you serious! "Yea why not haha" Aite! I'll see you later big booty. "Bye silly". Bye!

He got there a few minutes before 5. I was in the outfit he requested- blue booty shorts, a white tank top & nothing else! He walked up to me wearing a matching white shirt and blue sweats with the mascot of his high school on the pants. Even though I had moved, I still repped BLUE & GOLD! We were fresh out of high school. Grown.. Well kinda. I still lived with my mom & little brother. My brother was gone & my mom was sleep. We had a few hours to freak. Everything seemed so right.

We sat on the couch looking at each other- trying not to drool. Trying to keep a steady convo but next thing I knew I was reliving another "movie moment". Friends for the longest becoming lovers- we both knew for awhile that we had feelings stifled. Didn't want to mess up our friendship but it was just the time to take it to the next level. The time to let all of the built up passion for one another overflow.

Our eyes locked the same way they did when we first met. Love at first sight. I eased myself onto his lap. I started to rub his huge head *haha* He smiled at me and I felt my pussy get wetter. We were only sitting for maybe 5 minutes but it felt like an eternity. He asked me to stand up. He pulled my shorts up & said, "Damn girl, when yo ass get that phat? Last time I saw you the booty meat wasn't big like that"! I gave him a sexy smile as I saw his dick get harder. He palmed my ass and I bent over- making it clap for him. "Damn Kyi! I ain't know you could do that. You could be a video vixen". While I winked I said- You ain't supposed to know 'cuz you my bro-bro remember? He laughed and said, "Well that's about to change right? Remember I said you were wifey? Well I meant that. Come here".

He took off his shirt and sweats. He didn't have on any underwear. He sat in the chair and I followed. Once he got me naked he kissed me. Our first kiss! My body dropped onto his meltingly. He picked me up and laid me down on the couch lovingly. He kissed every spot on my body slowly. I whispered "Ooooooohhh Rejo" as he fondled my breasts. He started to lick my earlobes. We were so close only he knew that was my top magic spot. I squealed with delight as he licked my face! That was a private joke between us. I was wetter than I've ever been before. Next, he slid a condom on then slid into me. He was so gentle with me. I let a soft moan escape from my lips as he grabbed me tighter and went deeper inside of me. That's when I felt a rush I never experienced before with any other guy. This has to be real love. "Rejo! I'm cumming". He smiled, bit his bottom lip and went faster. I felt like screaming out to the world saying how much I love this man. Instead I focused on my thrusts and seductive purrs. Plus I didn't want to wake my mom!

I made sure he came. I kissed his neck (his spot) as I clenched my pussy on his phat dick. He kept it inside for a few minutes as we laid there chest to chest. Heartbeats synced. Then he got up & pulled the condom off. I went to flush it and when I got back he was in the chair rubbing his thick dick. I knelt down & swallowed him whole. It was long enough for me to not choke. I got on my knees & he pulled my hair moving my head up & down on it. Soon he was ready to cum again. "No I don't want you to bust again yet" I said as I stood up & slid down on his unprotected throbbing pole. I trusted him to be clean.

I was in reverse cowgirl position. He kept the D in me as he "walked me" to the couch. We laughed and he hit it doggystyle. When he came he pulled out & nutted in his hand. I hopped up & put my face in his hand. "Did you just lick my hand clean? I ain't ever have that happen to me before"! Your juices mixed with mine are yummy! He was stunned even though he knew I was a freak mcNasty. I never did that for any other guy though. He was different.. Better.. He was my Rejo.

"I wanna taste your juices Kyi". I smiled & bent over. "I never ate the kitty before but I want you to be my first". I looked back & said, "I know you lying. You always talk about how you the pussy monster". He said, "Na I was bullshitting". I let him have at it. I'm sure I wasn't his first! He ate it like a PRO! After 2 hours of loving he left. I walked him to the door and we kissed. He said he would call once he got back to his grandma's. I was on a high I never felt before. It felt angelic.. Heavenly.. Perfect! I remember thinking to myself in the tub: I finally made love & with my super crush for the longest Rejo! I must be dreaming. If not then I've found my soul mate. Wait, no.

My life mate!

**Okay that's it for now! Want more of Kyi? Stay tuned for Angelic & Heavenly announcements coming soon only to bonafidezen.com

UNTIL NEXT TIME

I hope that you have enjoyed 2005! What was your favorite moment? Use the hashtags #BFZintheLandofLove #BFZoMaraAndTae #BFZ2005 #BFzLoveStory #BFzNovels #BFZitLoL & #BFzFreeBook on social media & we will reply!

Start a conversation: Please contact us and let us know how we did on this free book (the e-book version is free @ bonafidezen.com etc.) Include any likes or dislikes- we love feedback! Our contact info is above. 2005 includes many relationship related themes including young love, friendship, marriage, heartbreak, fighting, breaking up and making up. How do you feel about how O'Mara and Tae handled all of the above? Have you ever had a love like theirs? What songs would be on their Love Story soundtrack? Should Dr. Ryte write a part 2 to this novel? Let us know!

There will definitely be more free books from us as well as books for purchase- at the lowest prices (on sale) of course! So keep BonaFideZen in mind. Thank you a million times over! Stay tuned for ANGELIC & HEAVENLY & more! Did you enjoy the teasers for INSPIRED, RYTINGS 2 and ANGELIC & HEAVENLY? Feedback is definitely welcomed!

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