The most important voice for any sports-centric
program is that of the lead commentator, the
play-by-play announcer.
That voice is the salesperson for the images
being displayed, a vital link between the
consumer and the product.
A credible, trustworthy, and entertaining
voice can form a relationship with the audience,
and can themselves hold drawing power.
A voice that is unreliable, inane, or lacking
in some other necessary quality can be a turn-off,
causing viewers reaching for their remotes
without hesitation.
While WWE has had a vivid parade of color
commentators over the past three-plus decades,
their list of truly-remarkable play-by-play
men is much shorter.
Some of WWE's lead voices have enjoyed lengthy,
legendary tenures, and that alone causes other
list candidates to pale mightily.
Some, like those who occupy the top spaces,
are so indelibly part of WWE lore that successors
have paled anyway, unable to match the authority
of others that occupied the same chair.
This list will no doubt be a bit controversial,
as some of those that made the cut have often
been derided, and rightfully so at times.
But we here at Cultaholic are not afraid of
controversy.
This is a truly warts-and-all representation
of WWE's best play-by-play men ever, and you
will soon realize the distance not only between
number one and number ten, but number one
and number five as well.
10.
Josh Mathews
When compiling this list, I was initially
only able to come up with nine solid choices.
I had to resort to polling close friends,
other Cultaholic staffers, and even cold-calling
random people, to help me come up with the
tenth pick out of a list of less-desirable
candidates.
In the end, current Impact Wrestling voice
Josh Mathews got the nod, which was like being
the least-odorous out of six different soiled
litter boxes.
While Mathews earns criticism for his prickly
demeanor, combative attitude on social media,
and the fact that his voice is deepened in
post-production (in TNA, anyway), he's better
than people think.
Perhaps Mathews' best run as an announcer
came during his two years calling the Saturday
night B-show Velocity.
There, Mathews was apt to demonstrate his
genuine wrestling knowledge, putting him many
cuts above the flavorless Ken-dolls that WWE
has hired for broadcasting spots over the
years.
He was also fine as the voice of the ECW brand
in its final year of existence.
Up until Mathews went to TNA in early-2015,
the only criticism one could offer was that
his voice wasn't particularly authoritative,
that he sounded like Doogie Howser: Wrestling
Commentator.
9.
Sean Mooney
"Who?!" was the common response whenever Bobby
Heenan heard Mooney's name, and it's become
part of Mooney's identity, to the point where
"Who" is even part of his Twitter handle.
Although Mooney wasn't the greatest announcer
to have ever donned a WWE headset, he actually
held his own in a time where he was surrounded
by true industry giants.
Mooney functionally replaced Craig DeGeorge
in 1988 as the news-update talking head.
His primary contributions to commentary were
on Coliseum Video releases, dubbing over matches
alongside usual commentary partner Lord Alfred
Hayes.
As mentioned, Mooney was definitely overshadowed
by his more prolific colleagues, Mooney was
worlds better than the likes of Dick Graham,
Rod Trongard, and other localized announcers
that did WWE's Philadelphia Spectrum and Madison
Square Garden at the time.
Mooney's voice could be excitable, but never
overly so, giving him an even edge that was
a far cry from, say, Trongard's strained warbling.
Additionally, although he couldn't (nor could
anybody else) match Mean Gene Okerlund in
the backstage interviewer department, Mooney
earnestly held his own in that position, easily
putting today's wooden question-askers to
shame.
8.
Kevin Kelly
While some WWE staff hires have zero prior
experience in the wrestling industry, Kevin
Kelly was not one of them.
Prior to his 1996 debut as an announcer on
Monday Night Raw, Kelly had gotten his start
in 1991 as a ring announcer for the Florida-based
International Wrestling Federation.
Fans are generally savvy enough to tell when
an announcer or interviewer has some form
of wrestling background, and Kelly's feel
for the sport was pretty obvious.
It speaks volumes that Kelly was given Vince
McMahon's chair on Raw almost immediately
upon his arrival, for what amounted to a three
or four month run as the voice of the company's
flagship show.
For his remaining six years with the company,
Kelly's role was more or less peripheral,
acting as either supplementary announcer on
major shows, lead announcer for secondary
broadcasts, backstage interviewer, or host
of internet properties.
Always an underrated talent, Kelly could emphasize
drama without splitting your eardrums, and
understood how to sell the key points of a
televised wrestling product.
There's a reason why Ring of Honor and New
Japan alike have seen the value in having
someone like Kevin Kelly helm their desks.
7.
Tony Schiavone
Think of a famous athlete that played most
of his career in one city, and had a forgettable
run on another team that lasted maybe a year.
You could use that analogy to sum up Schiavone's
one year tenure with WWE in 1989-90.
"The Silver Tongue", as Dusty Rhodes would
refer to him, was most identifiable as the
face of Jim Crockett and Ted Turner broadcasts
between 1983 and 2001, save for that year
he spent as a Vince McMahon guy.
Schiavone may have climbed higher on this
list with a longer WWE run, because his energy
and passion were wholly evident, even while
wearing a different uniform.
Schiavone called two WWE pay-per-views, the
1989 SummerSlam and the 1990 Royal Rumble,
and he was excellent as a partner of Jesse
Ventura's.
In later years, Schiavone would get a bad
rap for being the salesman of a decaying WCW
product, and his hyperbolic declarations that
this particular Nitro was, "the greatest night
in the history of our sport!", did him no
favors.
As far as play-by-play guys go, few could
match Schiavone's intense tempo when the crescendo
nears.
If only he'd stuck around longer - imagine
the Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels' mid-nineties
epics with Tony on the call.
6.
Joey Styles
When Styles popped up at the 2005 Taboo Tuesday
pay-per-view, it was a treat to anyone whose
ears appreciate quality.
When Jim Ross was set to miss months of commentary
duties following major surgery, it appeared
WWE was set to roll with Jonathan Coachman
as lead Raw voice.
Styles, whose work at One Night Stand was
like chicken soup for the sadist's soul, taking
over Raw broadcasts for the foreseeable future
earned a hearty thumbs up.
Sadly, it didn't take too long for the effect
to wear off.
When Styles crossed over to the ECW brand
in 2006, the extreme reincarnate didn't do
its forebear justice, and Styles was left
calling a rather inferior product.
Factor in having to "tell stories" in the
overproduced, artificial WWE template of commentary,
and what we got between 2006-08 wasn't prime
Styles.
It was still better than most alternatives,
but man, the un-tethered Joey Styles at both
One Night Stands was sorely missed.
His chemistry with Tazz made up for the lack
of cutting, unvarnished snideness that was
his ECW identity, and compared to most other
WWE announcers, even a hindered Joey was better
than the median.
5.
Michael Cole
I know, I know, I know, I know - it's effing
Michael Cole.
Cole is to Jim Ross what Roman Reigns is to
Daniel Bryan: he's the less-talented dolt
that took over the spotlight from the fans'
real choice.
And for the last ten years, Michael Cole hasn't
exactly endeared himself to crowds.
Hell, his more-than-two-year run as an open
heel was a swell reminder that our cable packages
came equipped with hundreds of other channels.
That, and his wooden narration makes it pretty
clear that these days he's little more than
Vince's thought-free marionette.
What's often forgotten is that, for a six
year period, Cole was actually one of the
better announcers around.
His time on SmackDown between 2002 and mid-2008
saw an enjoyable, lively, and professional-sounding
Cole ably calling the action.
His four-year partnership with Tazz was especially
enjoyable, and there was a brief stretch where
some fans and critics perceived them to be
a more enjoyable duo than Ross and Lawler
on the other show.
Yes, really.
When he doesn't have Vince in his ear, Cole
can be a lot of fun, as evidenced at 2015's
Beast in the East, as well as dubs of events
like 1980's Showdown at Shea, where he and
Mick Foley gave one of the most entertaining
commentary performances ever.
Again: yes, really.
4.
Mauro Ranallo
Ranallo himself is a walking alternative energy
source.
If you could somehow harness Ranallo's high-strung
ebullience, you could power a handful of conjoined
nations for decades to come.
While Ranallo himself acknowledges that his
frenetic commentary and pop-culture punctuation
are not every viewer's cup of tea, there are
many others who have come to love what Ranallo
brings to the table, and for good reason.
With Floyd Mayweather prize fights, the Pride
Fighting Championships, and even English dubs
of New Japan Pro Wrestling on his lengthy
resume, Ranallo entered the WWE realm in early
2016, bring a with him a colorful personality
that made fans take notice.
For the first time since Jim Ross' heyday,
there was a narrator in WWE's employ capable
of matching the highest intensity that the
in-ring product had to offer.
Even a throwaway match in SmackDown's second
hour was a veritable clash of the titans with
Ranallo waxing chaotic.
That's not mention his considerable product
knowledge and understanding, as few announcers
are his peer when it comes to total preparation.
Today, NXT fans get to appreciate Ranallo's
florid and evocative prose, the ideal voice
for the critically-acclaimed TakeOver events.
3.
Vince McMahon
"The Chairman" doesn't earn this ranking for
his intricate explanations of wrestling's
sweetest science.
Certainly, the likes of Ranallo, Kelly, and
Schiavone could run circles around their current
or former boss when it comes to calling holds,
and expounding on ring psychology.
There's nothing wrong with taking that tack,
but McMahon's style had little use for such
particulars.
In a carny business, Vince McMahon was the
foremost carnival barker, and few could best
him on that front.
"Whattamaneuver!" and "one-two-yes he got
him, wait no he didn't!" were typical catchphrases
within the McMahon palette, for which intensity
and volume were the primary mediums.
McMahon was an ideal salesman for his own
product, selling larger-than-life sports entertainment
with phlegmy grunts that emphasized the outworldly
action.
McMahon worked well with a variety of partners,
playing it straight against the bombast of
Bodies, Brains, and Kings, using a style that
amounted to "articulate anarchy."
Today, it's funny to see the comically-evil
Mr. McMahon character playing it affably neutral
in a previous life.
But knowing that he was the one pulling the
strings allows one to appreciate just how
hard McMahon worked at getting his own creations
over.
He was sometimes rough around the edges, but
he understood that that's what made the clock
tick.
2.
Gorilla Monsoon
Many memories involving the respected and
beloved Gorilla Monsoon are rooted in his
partnership with Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.
There was no better foil for Heenan's hijinks
and putdowns than Monsoon's exasperated responses.
The two played off of each other so well that
it's easy to forget that the diametrically-opposed
duo were best friends away from the camera.
For as much as that partnership helped shape
each man's wrestling legacy, there was more
to Monsoon's broadcasting life than just that.
Monsoon the announcer cast a long shadow over
the WWE product throughout the 1980s and into
the mid-nineties, calling more than 20 pay-per-views
between 1985 and 1994, as well as multiple
weekly episodes of television beyond just
that frame of time.
Though he was prone to much hyperbole and
exaggeration, Monsoon's super-heavyweight
build and friendly smile gave him a trustworthy
demeanor, a genuine classiness and charm that
set him apart from any other announcer ever.
It's hard to think back to the days of Hulkamania
and Macho Madness without hearing Gorilla
chastise someone's poor abdominal stretch
application, or refer to a body part by some
obscure, highly-complex name, or proudly proclaim
that, "History has been made!"
Vince McMahon was the brains behind the WWE
that many of us grew up with, and Hulk Hogan
was the body.
But Gorilla Monsoon, he was its voice.
1.
Jim Ross
Nearly ten years after he was replaced as
the lead voice of Monday Night Raw, and there
are still scores of fans clamoring for Jim
Ross to reclaim his rightful throne.
It helps Ross' case that his successor, Michael
Cole, is about as popular as syphilis-flavored
water, but it goes beyond just disparate comparisons.
WWE wouldn't be the only wrestling promotion
or territory that would herald "Good ol' JR"
as its greatest broadcast ever, and any fan
could tell you why.
Ross forged a trusted connection with his
audience, combining the rurally-sweetened
excitability of a college football announcer
with the earnest honesty of a family doctor.
His shock and awe was our shock and awe, and
when Ross grew outraged at some heel's treachery,
we were just as furious as him.
Given the number of truly imitable voices
that have graced this list, it might be Jim
Ross' that lends itself best to imitation
and quotability.
No matter what age you are, if you've ever
daydreamed of yourself becoming a World Champion,
you envision Ross' unrestrained exclamation
calling the moment.
As a play-by-play announcer, Jim Ross is the
greatest of all time, as honest as he is hyperbolic,
as matter-of-fact as he is electric, and as
human as he is larger than life.
