-Welcome to "The Tonight Show."
Let's get to some news.
Well, guys, everybody is talking
about this.
Yesterday, President Trump did
an interview on Fox News
where he again tried to defend
his own mental fitness
by explaining
the cognitive test that he took.
Watch this.
-It was 30 or 35 questions.
Like, a memory question.
It's -- Like, you'll go,
"Person, woman, man,
camera, TV."
So, they'll say,
"Could you repeat that?"
So it's "person, woman, man,
camera, TV."
If you get it in order,
you get extra points.
Okay, now he's asking you
other questions.
"Give us that again."
You go, "Person, woman, man,
camera, TV."
It's actually not that easy,
but for me, it was easy.
[ Laughter ]
-We could have shown you more,
but our show is only an hour.
What is he doing?
He sounds like someone
playing charades
after pounding Chardonnay.
He's like, "Man, camera, woman.
Is it a book? Is it a movie?"
You know, I actually feel
a lot better knowing
that the President of
the United States
passed concussion protocol.
It was impressive until
they asked Trump
what he ate for lunch that
day, and he said,
"Person, woman, man,
camera, TV."
I wish we could see Trump's
answers to the questions
in written portion, because
I know it looks like this.
Yeah, that's it.
The only five names Trump
couldn't remember were his kids.
[ As Trump ] I want to say
Harry, Zayn, Niall,
camera, TV.
[ Normal voice ] He was being
interviewed by one of
Fox News' top medical
contributors, Dr. Marc Siegel.
Can we see his face
when Trump was talking?
You can tell he's thinking,
"Is he having a stroke or am I?"
Yeah, Trump really seemed
obsessed with those five words,
but it makes sense,
'cause it actually turns out
he spent a lot of time
studying for the test.
Check this out.
-Can you help us?
-Yeah.
-Can you say...
-Person, woman, man, camera, TV?
So it's person, woman, man,
camera, TV.
-Hooray!
-Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
-Again!
-Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
-One more time!
-Person, woman, man, camera, TV.
♪♪
-We did it! We did it!
-We did it!
-Yay!
-Because I'm cognitively there.
[ Laughter ]
-We did it!
♪♪
-We did it!
Listen to this.
Earlier today,
Joe Biden released a video
where he sat down with
former president Obama.
They talked about a range of
issues, like healthcare,
the economy, and, of course,
the COVID pandemic.
You can tell they're taking
COVID seriously
because of how far apart they
sat for the interview.
This is real. Take a look.
Wow! Wow!
Obama hasn't distanced himself
from Biden like that
since the first
10 Democratic debates.
Usually, in a meeting
that far apart,
one person's stroking a cat
while the other's being
lowered into a barracuda tank.
[ As Blofeld ] It's the last
time you mess with me, Mr. Bond.
[ Normal voice ] Let's get to
some sports news.
Earlier tonight,
Major League Baseball
made its official return,
and it's clear
this season's gonna look
pretty different.
-Stadium seats will be empty,
replaced, in some cities,
by cardboard cutouts.
Celebrations will be distanced.
Coaches will be masked.
-Yeah. Baseball is back,
or, as the president put it,
"Bat, glove, ball, hot dog, TV."
Fans have to stay home,
but if you want to feel
like you're really there,
spend 40 bucks on popcorn
and then have your kid
spill half of it on the floor.
That's right -- the NBA has
sealed everyone in a bubble
in one location,
while Major League Baseball
is just like, "Let's see how
this goes, baby!"
Oh, this is interesting, though.
Fox announced that
they're going to show
CGI fans in the stands.
Yeah. It will be weird
when a pitcher gets heckled
by the cast of "Toy Story."
[ Light laughter ]
I don't -- I don't...
-Yeah, let it go. Let it go.
-Do it!
Let it go.
-Do it!
-Alright, well -- Alright.
[ As Cliff Clavin ] Hey, uh --
Hey, I think that's
a strike there, uh...
[ Laughter ]
-Come on, man.
[ Normal voice ] Oh.
Dust off the old Cliff Clavin
impersonation.
-Just do it.
There was also some
big football news today.
While trying to figure out
a permanent name,
Washington's NFL team
just announced
a temporary one for this season.
Listen to this.
-This just in.
Basically, Washington
is going to go with
an interim name
during the 2020 season.
It will call itself
the Washington Football Team.
[ Laughter ]
What?
-That's what they came up with?
That name sounds like
someone tried to talk about
sports who knows nothing
about sports.
It's like, "I love the
W-Washington Football Team.
Of course, the I love the
New York Hockey Club Team, too."
What's a good name?
The Washington Cherry Blossoms.
Maybe it is hard. I don't know.
-Oh, how about the -- Is there
a team the Capitals,
the Washington Capitals?
-Yeah, there is a team.
Yeah, it's a great team.
-Yeah, that's -- Yeah, great.
That's what I thought.
-Washington Capitals 2.
-Or Washington Capitals
Part Deux.
-Deux. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Finally, you guys,
you have to see this.
Yesterday, there was a crazy
storm here in New York,
and someone captured
a pretty amazing moment
at the Statue of Liberty.
Look at this thing.
Whoa.
Okay, worst case, this damaged
the Statue of Liberty.
Best case,
we "Freaky Friday" with Canada.
I'm actually a little worried,
'cause ever since that happened,
the only thing the Statue of
Liberty can say is,
"Person, woman, man..."
