Ahhhhhh! *music in the background*
Hey guys, how are you? Great? That's awesome!
I am very sick. I am trying to fight myself from throwing up.
And my throat is on fire...
But you know what, what else is new?
Still making this video.
Making that moneyyy!
That five dollars... MAC
*coughing fit*
Okay, so, I have a problem...
on my face...
apparently its a problem I've had for my entire life, but didn't know...
until the internet, cause, you know the internet is the best place to find out all your problems. *sarcasm*
Especially Twitter...
People are way too savage on Twitter -
we need to stop.
Apparently, my eyes are very far apart,
which, I guess, is very abnormal to the human race.
The space between my eyes has been compared to emus, sharks, crocodiles, that horror character, Splice.
And, as of recently,
A COW
cause, you know,
the number one thing a person was to hear from a random stranger online
is that their face reminds them of a COW!
My life is set!
I'm good!
I did not deserve this many riches
what happened was recieved this many riches in my life
COWS GIVE MILK
*A long pause (lol)*
I don't know what that means but I just want to say the facts
As you all know,
I'm a VERY BIG and DESPERATE chaser of
The Fame
And as everybody knows *yep*
you can't look abnormal than think you could be famous
that's not just a thing
HOLLYWOOD's not ready for that
You have to learn to fit inside a normal human outline that everyone's so used to, right?
YAAAHH
So as an attempt to become human, I'm gonna go do plastic surgery.
*moment of realization*
Which I do not have the money for so we're going to go find an alternative remedy.
OOooOOOo
So I went to the 99 cents store to find some items to help my quest.
I wanted to film my adventures IN the store...
But as soon as I walked in...
Everyone in there started staring at me which made me vERY nervOus.
I've seen "Get Out" twice, I know what's up you ain't fooling NOBODY
But I did get this shot.
*presentation of "this shot"
Which you can't even see my face. I look like a shadow. You know it is HARD.
The struggle is REAL for someone like me, okay? *honey i know the struggle*
One mislighting and all of the sudden I'm an 1800's silhouette portrait.
Peter Pan's shadow's understudy.
A full body charcoal mask.
Without the charcoal or the mask.
Who needs a black morph suit?
But anyways I got some shit.
But then I came home and I realized my mic battery was dead because I left it on ALL WEEKEND.
So I went to Rite-Aid to go get some new batteries.
went in to film in their, but i think yall already know the pattern here
It is hard out here for a pimp, okay?
And as I went home this old man in front of a bank was just staring at me.
I don't know if he was threatening, curious or just very fascinated.
To see a hammerhead shark walking outside of water like that.
I wish I was over-exaggerating this stuff but I'm not, I live in The Boonies.
So let me show you what I got! OH MY GOD 99 CENT STORE HAUL HAHAHAH no.
Time to solve my eye problem
First thing's first I gotta brush.
I don't know what a brush would do but you know the saying.
"When in doubt brush it out"
So you might as well try it.
*tap tap* oOh it's hard.
Here we gooo! woOOOOOoooOOOHh
Is it working?
*song playing "are we human"*
AHhhhHhHhHHh
I can feel the inhumanity scrubbing off my face!
Soon I will be human enough for people to love me!
[Music: Hammerhead sharks!]
uGHhGHgHg
Imagine all of the things I could do when I'm finally a normal human!
Welcome to McDonalds can I take your order?
Oh yes, I'd like one human burger, please.
In need of a burger that humans consume.
Because I am a humaaaaaaan.
Oh yes, one human burger coming along, human being.
You have such a nice human face...
With very equally... decent... Size to weight... Eyeballs...
Be right back with your burger.
And BAMM wow
It did absolutely nothing what the fu-?
fUDGE CAKE. I really like fudge cake.
I think I actually scrubbed away some dirt on my nose because my nose feels very clean right now.
hAHAHA PROGRESS!
Of course you can't hold anything together without CLAW CLIPS!
Heeeeheeee
Claws. Thats what they call we in bed.
Ba-uh! Bam-uh! BAM! Ignore the last one...
Are we- GODDAMNIT! Are we human?
WOW!
I feel uh-
Can I keep it on?
I feel SO human right- ohmagah
I feel so human right- STOP IT!
IFEELSOHUMANRIGHTNOW
I can already feel my eyes getting closer together!
The closer my eyes... The closer to GOD.
HI HUMAN.
HELLO OTHER NORMAL HUMAN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE NORMA-
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE NORMA-
Oh my god.
would you like to go to the normal human activity place?
YEAH SURE LET'S GO BECAUSE WE ARE NORMAL HUMANS.
*stares into camera creepily*
[Music: emu!]
Haha-oh. Haha-uh. Haha-ugh.
Okay you know what screw it
I don't think this one's working.
[Music: moo!]
i think its working. i think its time to pull out the BIG GUNS
The big PAPI
THE PADRE A LA CONODECINA
That was NOT Spanish at all I don't know what I just said.
Thats right
SPRING CLAMPS.
WARNING: This is not a toy.
Keep away from children as this hand tool can injure a child if played with.
That's right. We in the big leagues now bitches.
Thick plastic, really hard to move, really nice clamp.
It even has orange tips, orange is my favourite colour.
This will really get the job done.
Soon I'll be able to do all the human things with my normal human friends.
HELLO I AM HUMAN NOW.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GET SOME ...HUMAN THINGS?
HUMAN!
And now for the moment we've all been waiting for; HUMAN TIME.
AHHHHHHH OH MY GOD
AH HA HAAA
Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod
GET IT OFF!
[Mac crying and screaming offscreen]
I finally did it.
my mental
The world will now respect me!
PEOPLE WILL STOP COMPARING MY FACE TO A COOOOW!
I CAN NOW LIVE MY LIFE NORMALLY!
DO NORMAL HUMAN THINGS
SLEEP IN A NORMAL HUMAN BED
EAT NORMAL HUMAN FOOD INSTEAD OF GRASS AND HAY
COMPLETE A NORMAL HUMAN LIFE WITHOUT BEING DEHUMANISED BECAUSE OF QUALITIES PEOPLE ARE NOT USED TO SEEING
OH MY GOD!
are we human?
OH MY GOD!
Thank you guys so much for watching.
I can't breathe right now but you know what? It's worth it.
What HUMAN things do YOU like to do? Leave it in the comments down below.
hAhA! HUMAN!
Moral of the story- everyone is different.
Everybody has different faces.
Everybody has different bodies.
Everybody has different lives and different backgrounds.
It might seem normal to you because of your background and who you are.
Everybody has different lives and different backgrounds.
Criticizing and roasting the space between my eyes is pretty much you criticizing and roasting where I came from.
Just because my face is different than yours, does that mean my face is different or abnormal or inhuman or freakish?
It just means I have a different life.
If my face doesn't fit into what you classify as normal, it doesn't mean I'm weird.
It just means that your perception of human beings and life, in general, is quite limited.
And before you go out to tweet, maybe think
"Wait a minute. This person doesn't know me as much as I might know them so maybe it's not right tweeting a picture of their face and comparing it to a cow."
Someone actually did that and thought it was funny.
Here's the thing. It doesn't have to be with malicious intent to be considered cyberbullying.
That is an aspect that a lot of people seem to gloss over.
Just because YOU laugh at it does not mean that everybody's laughing.
I love my face. I love who I am. I love the way I look.
I am proud of myself, I have confidence, yes.
But when you start to get a bunch of tweets and comments from people you don't know,
And the only connection you have with them is that they watch your videos.
Constantly saying something about having 360 degree vision,
Or tweeting pictures of you right next to a picture of a cow, or a crocodile, or an emu,
Then it kind of does start to take kind of a mental toll on you.
I criticise myself all the time, I degrade myself all the time, for comedy.
It's me, it's who I am.
But just because I laugh at myself does not give people the right to laugh at me.
You can laugh with me, but don't laugh at me.
But just because I laugh at myself does not give people the right to laugh at me.
for the rest of his entire existance.
Don't dehumanise me because you're not used to seeing someone that looks like me.
But anyways thank you guys so much for watching!
But I hope I got my point across, that was quite messy I'm very sick.
I AM MAC AND DON'T FORGET TO LIKE COMMENT SHARE AND SUBSCR-I-BAE
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*outro music*
*Follow me on insta @Queen_Sienna_11 lol sorry mac!! love you!!!*
