

The Weekend by

Tom Loebmann

Copyrighted 2010 by Tom Loebmann

Smashwords Edition

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ISBN No. 9781301978502

Tom Loebmann - Author

A Christian who studied the Bible and knows what it says. Graduated from Vanderbilt with B.S., pursued a career, retired, and wrote Christian novels. Now, a published author. Along the way---married, and raised six children, have many grandchildren.

Studied under Chuck Smith, became a Pastor, now serves as ministry leader where the Lord leads him.

The author has taught the Scripture to teens, singles, couples, and adults in conferences and home fellowships. Currently he is ministering love, encouragement, strength, and counsel to churches in Southern California. You can learn more at his website:

http://www.wix.com/wtloe0/SpiritualFreshAir

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A Summary - THE BACK OF THE BOOK

Many people read the Bible---they unfortunately

skip over or mistranslates what it says. Contained in

The Weekend you will find the unvarnished truth.

You will be changed; your marriage will be changed, your relationships will be changed: divorced, single, married or somebody that wants to understand the
feelings and dynamics involved.

Join Anne, her husband and table mates on this weekend, and watch her learn these truths in an entertaining and humorous way. Kevin, her husband, also changes.

Who would gather at their table. Perhaps, the young athlete with the shaved head, the lady with long

legs that everyone wanted to stand behind or the

British couple. No one knows --

Dedicated to "Suzy"

Bible reference taken from The New King James

Version of the Bible published by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Prologue

ANNE BROWN JOINED TWENTY-TWO LADIES

enthusiastically signing up to go to the Couples Retreat from

7:30 pm Friday to 2:30 pm Sunday in the mountains near their church, Our Savior's Fellowship. Each had a sponsor, who told her nothing but the barest essentials, like, the date, October 12th, what to bring, what to wear, etc. Nothing else. No details about what would happen, or how their marriage would benefit. Anne knew that a Couples Retreat would help her marriage.

The husbands who were to eventually meet at the Angel Table didn't know anything either, or what to expect, or what they would experience at the retreat. Kenny, a Regional Manager,
married to Anne, responsible for three retail department stores; Edward, married to Maryann, a British attorney who had aged gracefully, and Rod, married to Carolle, a young athlete with a shaved head, who continued learning the insurance business. Plus their wives and the table leader and his wife made up the Angel Table.

Mike and Rose, the table leaders of Angel Table, had led a table before, but they didn't know which couples would join their table, or what to expect.

\--1--

ANNE BROWN WAITED EAGERLY FOR BRUTUS and Sally, their sponsors for the Couples Retreat, to arrive. Anne couldn't contain her excitement. This was the day! Kenny, her husband, would go to the Couples Retreat. Maybe Kenny would hear about relationships, and Jesus. Ask Jesus into his heart, as she did when she was at camp.

BRUTUS RANG the door bell. Anne opened the door for Brutus and Sally. She stood a bit shorter than Brutus, wearing her usual blouse and blue skirt. Anne was holding a brown and white puppy, Patches, struggling to get free. "Thank-you for coming," Anne said to Brutus and Sally.

Immediately she said: "KB was running a bit behind." She always called Kenny, KB in public. He preferred being called KB, and thought anyone called Kenny exuded some ignorance. "He will be down in a minute."

She beamed with excitement about her and Kenny going to the

Couples Retreat this weekend, especially Kenny. All would be
harmonious. "Wouldn't it be wonderful?" she asked Brutus. Anne didn't say anything further to Brutus or Sally, but she thought about being married to Kenny, him not being a Christian and all.

Anne went into the kitchen to clean up the lunch dishes leaving

Brutus with Sally alone in the hallway.

BRUTUS THOUGHT, Anne and KB needed this retreat. Maybe Anne would learn something about men. Anne was always controlling and ordering people about, including KB. He knew her because she worked in the office of Our Savior with Sally, and Anne had come over for dinner once in a while, She didn't understand men at all. This retreat would be good for her.

UPSTAIRS, KENNY finished packing; he thought, I'm packed. I just have to get dressed. What shall I wear? Not a suit; I wear one every day as a manager for three Department Stores downtown.

No, today I'll wear something different ... maybe a striped or checkered shirt. I don't really want to go, but I love Anne. I wonder why the departmental meeting this weekend canceled.

KB CAME down the stairs dressed to perfection, he thought, casual with a black and yellow checkered shirt, brown trousers, and shoes with a high polish. "Hi Brutus, Sally" Then he glanced at Anne coming back from the kitchen: "Ready to go?"

"Oh, Yes--" She thought, I have been ready since I found out you weren't the guy I thought you were, when we got married.

AFTER DROPPING Patches off at the boarding kennel, Brutus
and Sally, drove to the Restaurant de Holidays where they took the Browns for dinner before heading out to the retreat. Anne asked the waiter, "If the fish was tender?"

Anne had gone to McClachty's Restaurant last month, a restaurant across town, expecting the night to be special, and became instantly turned off because the fish tasted like leather rather than soft and succulent, as fish should taste. I shouldn't have asked about the tenderness of the fish.

This is Kenny's time. I hope he asks Jesus into his heart. I pray there will be many opportunities. I hope asking Jesus will cover our marriage woes.

I REMEMBER when I asked Jesus into my heart, Anne thought. I was twelve, at youth camp. We had all gathered around the campfire. The counselor, after he had pointed to the multitude of stars in the sky, told us all about God and His Son, Jesus. He asked, "Who believes in God, and wants God's spirit in their heart"?

My hand shot up so fast, like I just saw the school bus driving off without me. I believed in God, and the counselor explained that God sent Jesus to connect God to man, and 'No man comes to the Father, except by Jesus.'

If Jesus was the way, I was ready. The counselor led us all in a prayer. He said the prayer in slow sentences. I followed him and I remember asking Jesus into my heart.

I HOPE Kenny does. Oh, to have Jesus in my home. Maybe this weekend. I don't know what I'll do if Christ isn't the center of our home. I know it will make a big difference in our marriage. Me being a Christian, and him not.

I know there can be so much more. I can't explain it, but once he asks Jesus into his heart, everything will be different. I pray he does.

THE DINNERS arrived. KB tried his; the lamb chops he ordered were luscious and tasted excellent. KB smiled. Anne noticed his chops, a little pink inside, crusty on the outside, all in all, they were cooked perfectly.

Anne also inspected the 'Salmon with Mustard Sauce' after it arrived, and smiled at Brutus. The salmon wasn't overcooked and tasted perfect – not a McClachty's fish. The fish was so . . . good, and she remembered Brutus was treating.

Anne smiled at Brutus letting him know of her complete satisfaction. Having Brutus treat, made the dinner taste even better.

ANNE LOOKED at Kenny. She loved him. She thought, he looked smart in his checkered shirt. It went with his brown hair combed just so. He had brown eyes and a muscular body-\--all six feet of him. He looked good.

KB SAT upfront, with Brutus, and Anne sat in the back with

Sally. Anne spoke only a few words for the one hour required for Brutus to drive to the place in the mountains where the Couples Retreat was being held.

All of a sudden---they faced a man with a full beard – who directed them to a place where they could unload their luggage. Anne and Kenny left the car and stood by their luggage. They

had arrived at the Couples Retreat. A few low buildings stood off
in the distance. Darkness and the stratospheric clouds made it difficult to see.

"May I help you?" another man, tall and lankly, wearing a baseball cap appeared. He took their luggage and directed them down a long concrete walkway lit by luminaries---candles in paper bags. Sally and Brutus joined them, and they began walking, following the lights.

\--2--

"WELCOME, WELCOME. I AM YOUR HEAD Rosita. I wanted to introduce myself, and let you know how we will proceed while you'll be here. First, I would like to welcome you, the Roisters, who will be your table leaders, and the cooks who will be serving you of this weekend.

This weekend is composed of talks given by the Roisters interlaced with free-time, eating and a few special surprises which I will announce. Although this room is currently devoid of tables and chairs, the cooks will set up this room for breakfast. This is one of four rooms that we will be using this weekend. This is the Dining Room."

THE DARKNESS closed around them. Anne thought as she looked around. We followed a series of luminaries into this big room. Empty of furniture, but full of people, hugging and chatting.

I know quite a few of these people from church, but here they appeared much friendlier, and chatting like they, themselves, were going to participate in this conference.

The room appeared rather plain, white walls, off white tile floor. No flowers or pictures. Nothing on the walls. At one end must be the kitchen. Two wooden doors . . . actually four. That makes sense, he called it a Dining Room.

"Next door," the Head Rosita continued, "well . . . it isn't right

next door, but a little way down, on the same level as this room, is the Rollo Room. In this room, you will sit at various tables, listen to Roisters give various talks, and where you can engage in a lively discussion . . . if you want to . . . ."

"Hello, fancy meeting you here," a sponsor spoke to Anne.

"Yes, I finally got KB here," Anne replied. "It was a last minute thing. The Salwrights sponsored us. Sally and I have worked together in the office making copies, prayer lists, etc. KB becomes so busy.

"We planned to attend months ago, but something came up, and I didn't think we could make it. Then, almost like the Lord was in it . . . actually He is, you know, He always knows the right time. KB had a shift in his schedule so that he didn't have anything to do this weekend, anyway, he's here."

The Head Rosita went on while Anne spoke to her friend, "We encourage you to share your views, but no one has to say anything, if they choose not to. Yet, to get the best out of this weekend, we encourage you to participate. Let me say that your views don't have to be churchy.

"We encourage you to say what ever comes to mind. We frown on dirty language, but your thoughts, as off the wall as you may think, might be helpful to someone at your table.

"We will be using two other rooms this weekend. As you can
understand, the facilities designed for the little leagues and boy scouts are limited so we will be sleeping in dorms, and I should say also . . . in order for you to concentrate only on this weekend and your marriage, we would, all of you that are staying, sponsors will be going home . . . ask that you observe an overnight of silence: no noise, no speaking, no talking until tomorrow morning at breakfast.

"That is no speaking until we meet again for breakfast," The Head

Rosita repeated. "Of course, the men and women will be separated into two dorms--"

Anne understood one thing for sure. Silence! They must be serious. Then she reflected on this weekend. I wonder what I will think about? Her marriage came into her thoughts.

Anne said to herself: "Dorms?" She wondered, who will be at our table, I hope not the bald guy or the tall fellow with the cane.

The sponsors said their good-byes, and Bruce and Sally wished Anne and KB well. They left, but some sponsors headed to the bunk house to check their guests' luggage.

ANNE LIGHTLY kissed Kenny, and they made their way to the bunk houses across the way, along with the other men and women as they walked the narrow concrete path and steps. The well spaced steps and path reflected in the moonlight.

The path wound among the magnolia trees and traversed the small hills and the valley that separated the Dining Room from the dorms. The path split, and Anne and KB kissed again.

Anne thought again, dorms for a Couples Retreat?

The smell of the magnolias filled the air, and made everything
restful, nothing to do . . . but think. Anne spotted some of the sponsors coming out the doors.

The sponsors had previously taken the watches off the wrists of the men and women attending the Couples Retreat, so no one could determine the exact time when anything happened.

The instructions allowed a Bible, clothing, and not much else. But some sponsors had come out with reading material, work sheets, radios, cell telephones and watches, which they took with them back home. Silence prevailed until breakfast.

The folks running the retreat had taken Anne's luggage at the luggage drop-off point, her sleeping bag and toiletries, shorts, etc. contained in a pink carry-on for the weekend.

Kenny's clothing took very little space, he usually joined his clothing with Anne's in her luggage, but this weekend was different – two bags were required.

Anne remembered him asking: "Anne, what shall I pack?"

"I really don't know," Anne had said, "the list of what not to bring was clear enough, but after that, only a Bible and a sleeping bag.

It will be out in the mountains. Shorts would be comfortable, but a church function may not allow shorts."

Anne remembered that she and Kenny compromised. They would take two bags, slacks, and shorts if necessary. They would wear the slacks there, and if it was appropriate, change to shorts.

"Swim suit?" Kenny asked. He had plenty of room. A nice one, with long legs. She had told him that he had grown out of his Speedo's.
SOMEBODY WAVED at Anne on the concrete path to the women's dorm. Anne heard the Head Rosita say, "No talking," but the silliness of that rule bugged her. She would talk all night, if she wanted.

She waved back and said, "Hello." The other girl waved, and put her finger up to her lips indicting that the silence imposed eliminated talking. She shrugged her shoulders to indicate there wasn't much she could do about it. Anne entered the dorm. Her luggage now . . . where did they put it?

ANNE ENTERED the dorm. A long room with beds in two rows against the two long walls, no pictures, with a door at the end. It would be great for little leagues or the boy scouts, who used the facility, but not for couples. The beds lined the long walls and a shelf ran along same two walls about five feet from the floor.

A round, painted, plywood sign hung on the wall over each bed. A name had been painted on the sign, "Susan, Michelle, Sophia, Penny, June," the last names were written below in smaller letters.

And each bed contained a sleeping bag and some luggage. Some had two bags plus the sleeping bag. Some had wheeled carry-ons. It looked messy, but orderly. Surely, there must be only one Anne.

Anne thought, find the bed with Anne above and Brown below and her luggage would be there. I hope. Anne looked at the women around her. What a strange lot they were. Mostly young, between twenty and thirty, younger than her or Kenny.

Everyone looked nice. They were all dressed for church, except one, with a cane wearing Bermuda shorts. Thank goodness. I wore long slacks, tonight would be cool, but tomorrow could be

hot, and the shorts she brought would be perfect. She rejoiced that the woman wore Bermudas.

Aha, Anne Brown . . . and my sleeping bag and the pink suitcase. How did they know? Let's see I'm bunked next to Francine F. and Alex. I wonder what problems they have in their marriages.

Anne went outside.

-\- 3 --

MOST OF THE GALS, INCLUDING ANNE, wandered off, meandering over this hill or down the valley starring at the stars or looking introspectively at the sky. Nobody went back to the dorm. The night air, a bit cool, but basically nice. Cool, but comfortable. Anne wandered around outside.

The dorm had heat, but what else could she do without talking to someone. No one assembled in groups. All the women separated with nothing to do, but wander and look up at the stars. The stars gleamed like jewels on black velvet. Not even an airplane flying over. The sky stretched as far as one could see.

ANNE DIDN'T want to be the only person going to bed. It was dark and cool outside. The magnolias smelled sweet. The stars glistened in the darkness. The night offered comfort. She thought about Kenny. She wished Kenny could share this beautiful night with her. Anne pondered the stars; so many stars, she thought.

The Big Dipper and other constellations hung in the sky. Then Anne came to an interesting conclusion. There must be a God. She remembered what the counselor at camp had said, "No one else could create this beauty."Anne went to church, but this beautiful sky may be the invisible God letting her know of His creation and existence.
Anne continued her thoughts, God had visited us! Made Himself visible in Jesus. So much greed, adultery . . . all things had become evil in some way or other. Kenny has to stretch the taxes the way the IRS has set up the forms. Oops, I almost fell off that step . . . looking at the stars. Jesus said, 'I'll never leave you.'

Anne pondered if this is what He meant? Looking at the sky gave her a new perspective on His creation.

Anne considered those attending the conference, I don't know many of these people. They seem to know me. I know it is a big church, but don't I know everybody?

Some of the women wandered back to the dorm. Standing or shuffling on the concrete; not really wanting to go to bed. The other women continue to look up; saying nothing. Staring at the sky, the mountains, the door. One goes in.

Anne yawns, going to bed this early did not suit her. Kenny usually works on what he will do the next day.

He makes a "to-do" list, and checks his notebook to see what he follows each day. He looks over his calender after dinner. She usually takes care of the last-minute details, and then they cuddle on the couch and watch some television.

THE SECOND woman entered in the door, went past the first woman and prepared for bed. She looked at the pillow on top of her bed. Nice case, but the pillow is really small and flat. She tested the pillow. She thought, I usually bring my own pillow, why didn't they remind me.

She found her toiletries and pajamas. She took off her blouse, folded it, placed it on the shelf. Then, her shoes and skirt, and she put on her pajamas. Another woman, about five beds down,
brought a valet bag and hung it on a hook screwed into the shelf.

The first woman walked past the second woman. The first woman's pajamas spotted all over with red hearts on white flannel. Her husband must have given her those one Christmas, the second woman felt sorry for the first, but the first woman quicken her pace, and no one said anything.

Unnoticed by the second, until the the woman with the hearts on her pajamas walked into the bathroom, others had also wandered in, and gathered at the bathroom. The door to the bathroom had been propped open. So many in the bathroom that the first woman had to squeeze between two other women to brush her teeth.

Nobody said anything in the bathroom; all were polite. They would have spoken, if they could.

ANNE DIDN'T want to be the last one entering the dorm, she thought that the others would look at her funny. There was one man laying off in the grass and two women coming down the concrete pathway. Anne went into the dorm.

A HUBBUB of activity met her. Those that weren't changing into their sleepwear, were lined up at the bathroom. Anne could see that the bathroom consisted of two urinals and two toilets and

four sinks below a mirror. No showers and no faucets for the hot water.

The toilets had been set off with standard gray metal partitions. The fixtures were chrome, as was the small frame around the mirror. Some women were waiting in line for the toilets and other were waiting in line for the sinks.
Tall ones, short ones, sophisticated and every day appearing women. Anne noticed, the line continued out the door into the sleeping area between the beds. She would wait.

Anne went to her assigned bed, and sat. She nodded at Alex, but Francine F. wasn't there. Anne and most women sat on their bed waiting for the lines into the bathroom to decrease; not talking to anyone.

She looked down the row of beds at those women who had either came back from the bathroom or those who, like her, were

waiting for the lines to get shorter.

No talking permitted. A dumb rule, but nobody broke it, and talked to her. Anne thought, it takes all kinds.

Finally, the lines into the bathroom became shorter. The door closed. Anne ventured forth. She stood in one line for the sinks and then another for the toilets.

When Anne returned almost everyone when to sleep in their sleeping bags. She noticed that Alex was among the sleeping ones. Francine, still missing, and her luggage hadn't arrived.

THE NEXT morning everyone gathered for breakfast in the Dinning Room. A clear and beautiful morning had greeted the attendees, but it was getting warm. Anne thought, should I change into shorts?

Anne eagerly kissed KB. The bacon and the coffee permeated the room with their distinctive aromas.

Breakfast broke the silence, but after we sat, before eating, the Head Rosita explained more of the ground rules. He quickly outlined: "Some time would be provided for each couple to get
ready for the rollos, in the Rollo Room.

"Time would be shown by the space between his hands." He demonstrated with his hands held out before him, each vertical, about ten inches apart. "This would be about ten minutes," he said.

"Also, when time runs out, the head cook will ring a gong by running this ringer around the inside of the triangle . . . like this." He rang the triangle.

Anne jumped at the sound, and thought, probably the sound of the triangle could be heard for ten miles.

"Some coffee?"

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," KB said to the cook holding a pot of steaming coffee. Anne was surprised at her appearing, and she pondered, not bad.

At least they know what's important. I looked around for a self- serve thermos when I first entered, but didn't find one.

This is much better. Look at all that food. Nobody's moving. I

guess they are waiting for the Head Cook to ring the gong.

"What would like you for breakfast?" The same woman who had previously poured the coffee asked.

"Eggs . . . toast and . . . some fruit."

Anne stuttered, a bit taken back that this woman taking her order. Like being in a hotel, Anne thought.

"And you?" Cathy the cook asked.
KB ventured forth: "I saw some waffles. Could I have those?"

"How many? Would you like strawberries running all over those?"

"Three . . . no strawberries, but a sunny-side egg would be nice." Anne asked: "Are there seconds?"

"Absolutely! Even thirds, if the food holds out."

Sixty-four people and twelve cooks didn't take up much space. Not like the night before when almost one-hundred and twenty folks packed into the Dinning Room. Add tables, conversation

and the cooks making breakfast, serving juice, coffee, tea and the place was jumping.

The silence carefully observed last evening vanished as those sitting at tables introduced themselves to those near by, some distant folks that they recognized, along with the discussions of individual breakfasts with the cooks; much noise filled the place.

They had so much to talk about. The lack of decorations, the crowded bathrooms, and the food.

Juice and danish pastry, sausages, bacon, scrambled eggs, avocado slices, pineapple, melon, waffles, pancakes with all the fixings, could be added. Anne was close enough to see the strawberries, also the peaches and sliced apples, whipped cream and even the chocolate flakes that could top the pancakes.

The Head Rosita rang the gong, and everyone gave him their attention, except the cooks who were still pouring coffee for those lingering and engaging in conversations.

The Head Rosita was standing up with his hands vertical about a
foot apart. He was saying: "We don't want to rush you . . . but,

you have about this much time." He showed everybody his hands again, about a foot apart. "We will start the first rollo next door."

SOME MOVED. No doubt they wanted to get to the dorm to either stand in line or change their clothes.

"Did you bring the card?" KB wanted to know. Anne had told him they gave them a card when she signed them up.

"Right here," answered Anne. Anne noticed that their card had an angel in the upper right corner. In the dorm Anne met Maryann who also had an angel on the note that had been written to her.

She knew that she and Maryann would be together for something. They didn't know what.

ANNE LOOKED in the Rollo Room, while she waited to enter. The white walls were undecorated except for a few windows on one wall covered with a plain translucent paper.

There was a podium in the center and tables placed around the room facing the podium and each table sported folding chairs. Two chairs behind, one on each end, and four on the other side facing the podium.

Each table had a few greens to make a centerpiece and a sign. She could see that the signs were church things: Bible, angel, cross, folded hands, etc.

EVERYONE POURED into the Rollo Room. Some looked for their watch . . . shook their wrists, and wondered if enough time remained. Some were running to the dorms.

The instructions specifically told each couple to bring the confirmation card with them. No one asked for it when they showed up. "Your name?" they asked at check-in.

Each table had a different church symbol and each seat had a name card. Some were looking at their cards, looking for their names.

In time, everyone found their table and name card. Name tags were provided, and wives and husbands pinned them on each other. Each name tag had the table symbol, the first name in bold lettering and the last name below – smaller.

Maryann spotted Anne at the Angel Table and she introduced her husband. "My husband, Edward."

"KB, my husband," Anne gestured.

"Edward," as KB reached out, and shook Edward's hand.

"I'm your table leader," Mike said, introducing himself, shaking everyone's hands.

"My wife, Rosemary, well just Rose," Mike introduced his wife, as a table leader also.

"KB," KB reached out to Rod, a bald, young guy. Rod and KB shook hands.

"My wife, Carolle," Rod introduced Carolle to KB.

Edward stood off, he was British, but he eventually met Rose, Mike, Rod, Carolle, KB and Anne. Pleasantries and work dominated the conversation, trying to find a common ground.
Eventually, fixing their marriages surfaced.

Carolle, smiling, admired her Rod. Only twenty-seven, and already a successful insurance salesman. He exceeded his quota for the last three years, and last year he received a bonus, which we spent on a vacation in Hawaii.

So many bikinis, but I don't have to worry, about Rod. He said, "I

will always remain as cute as the day we met."

Edward said to Maryann: "These guys and gals are younger than us. Do they have the same problems?"

\--4--

GEORGE FINISHED HIS ROLLO TITLED, 'Who am I.' He handed each table 2' x 3' piece of butcher block drawing paper.

Mike, the table leader for the Angel Table, said: "Before we draw the picture, and chose the spokesperson, I want to welcome you

to the Angel table.

We want to let you know that your involvement is encouraged

and we expect that each person will learn about their spouse, their marriage, their relationship, and themselves. So . . . let's talk.

'Who am I' was the title. Does anybody have anything to say?" Rod said, with great determination: "Well, I know who I am." Anne listened to hear Rod, and compare him to Kenny.

Mike asked Rod: "How would you describe yourself?"

Rod faced Carolle, and expressed without blinking an eye: "I am
a good father of two. A husband, a church member, and an insurance salesman. Don't you all know, who you are?" he asked. Surely you would know who you are, Rod asked to himself.

Maryann replied hesitantly: "Well, a housewife, but does that measure up?"

Carolle, Rod's wife, looked at Maryanne, and joined her: "I guess I'm a housewife too, but that's alright. Isn't it? I mean we have two babies. Who would look after them?"

Rod exclaimed babies. She still calls them babies. I guess they might be considered that, but the girl's eighteen months and the boy just turned three.

Edward scratched his neck, and joined the conversation: "All our children are gone. Thank God. I'm not a young man . . . you

know. Neither is Maryann. Sorry . . . I got off the subject . . . . He said apologetically.

"Anyway, Maryann had the responsibility for the kiddos. I'm sure I helped, but she was always there. We made a decision that Maryann would always be there."

KB interrupted: "I though you had a practice . . . attorney, as I

remember."

"Righto," Edward exclaimed, "I am, in fact, both my wife and I are fine attorneys." Edward put his hand to the back of his neck, "but during the baby and growing-up years . . . well, let me separate that. We agreed when we were starting out, that Maryann wouldn't work.

She would be a stay-at-home mom, always accessible for the kiddos. As the kiddos entered middle school, she worked a little while they were in school. Now that I have my own office,
Maryann helps me when she can."

Anne interrupted, "How old are your kids?" "The youngest is 23, then 27, 30, 32, and 35."

Rod still considering his time with Carolle, I guess she calls them babies until they go to school.

Anne looked at Carolle and added: "Bully for you! I'm for stay-at\- home moms."

KB interjected: "Say, I see in the news, that Iran is still in turmoil. Did anyone else notice that?"

Carolle smiled and asked: "What does that mean? Isn't Iran a

Muslim nation?"

Rod added: "You bet. I would say that the President of Iran has a problem on his hands."

"He'll probably squelch it," someone at the table concluded. Anne added: "I hope the Israelis use this turmoil to wipe out

Iran's nuclear capabilities.

"Rod repeated his first statement: "I think the President of Iran has a problem. Then, he's not the only one. The President of the United States has a problem too.

"On one hand, he's taking all of our freedoms, and on the other hand, the people of Iran are declaring they want freedom, like we have in the U.S. Israel also has a problem. What will they do?"

KB asked Mike: "Mike, you're our table leader, what do you think

Israel should do?"

Mike replied: "I agree with Anne. The Israelis should take advantage of the chaos. Israel should bomb Iran; then we don't have to."

"KB says to Edward: "You look familiar. Which service do you go to?"

"Nine, you too?"

"Yes, I thought you looked familiar. Rod, which service do you and Carolle attend?"

"11:30."

"Really, Isn't that awfully late?"

"We just make it. By the time we get the kids up, have breakfast and load them in the car it's 11:15. So we come in the door at

11:30." Rod mused to himself . . . sometimes it isn't worth it, and we don't make it at all.

Edward wanting to know: "Mike, which service do you go to?" his hand around his neck.

Mike replied: "Nine, same as you. I see you there all the time." Mike continued, trying to get the table centered on the talk, asked: "What shall we draw? Any ideas?"

"Do we really have to draw something?" Anne inquired. "Yes, each table has to draw something. It's to insure we

discussed each talk. The rules admonished us, to draw something, and someone from our table has to present what we got out of our discussions to the group."
"What?" exclaimed Anne. "Boy, they are serious. They want us to get something out of this weekend."

Mike inquired again : "What ideas can we present? 'Who am I,' is the topic."

Rod repeated: "Well, I know who I am." Rod evaluated the British couple. Both attorneys. She could represent me. A little heavy, but better than long, thin Edward.

Maryann a little shorter than Anne, not quite as heavy, focused her brown eyes over Rod, who fumed as a little boy who challenged the school bully.

"And we have two housewives," Mike noted. "Mike, who are you?"

Mike ducked the question, since the attendees at each table had to decide, 'Who Am I,' and draw their representation of who they are. He used this opportunity to get the table talking: "I'm not as sure as Rod. I'm different people in different situations.

Edward, "What are your thoughts?"

Edward replied slowly who he thought he might be: I am an attorney, and a good one. Call me to work with you. You can find me in the Yellow Pages."

Immediately, without hesitation KB asked: "What about wills?" "Righto, call me," Edward's blue eyes squinted with anticipation.

His frame tightened. He smiled.

Mike not encouraged by Edward's glad-handing and business building: "So Edward, you are an attorney. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm a husband, and a grandfather." He turned toward

Maryanne, "I also think Maryann is more than just a housewife.

"She graduated fourth in her class at Harvard Law. She has helped me and my clients out of a few close calls."

"Fourth at Harvard Law. Wow!" exclaimed KB

Mike tried another tack: "KB we haven't heard from you. Who do say you are?"

KB, replied questionably: "I'm not sure. The department stores demand much, but that means that Anne suffers. I don't know. I thought I knew, but now, I'm not so sure."

"Maybe our drawing should say that we don't know?"

Rod indicated that 'We don't know': "Wouldn't include me." Carolle smiled.

"How about orienting our drawing to business?" KB offered.

The table responded, somewhat slowly: "That's why we are here! To find out. Aren't we?"

"How about a blank square, and our explanation could be, 'That's why we are here,'" Maryann proffer.

"Let's do it."

"Somebody has to draw an empty square or rectangle and speak for our table," Mike reiterated.

Maryann proposed to represent the table: "I'll do it. Pass me the
paper."

Mike noticed that the first drawing for the 'Who Am I' rollo was being shown. They had drawn a question mark, and the table said that they didn't know who they were.

"We thought we knew, but we didn't. We are a wealth of different personalities."

One by one, each table shared. The next folks showed a small drawing of a man with extended legs and arms. "We are walking and giving people," said the table.

The third drawing showed six stick figures holding hands. "We support each other," they said.

The next drawing showed a stick figure with various items: a gear, some string, a frying pan, a deed, flower bouquet and a T- square. "We are mostly what we do, but we are different," they expressed that they didn't know either.

Finally, the Angel shared. Maryann went forward slowly with a drawing of an empty rectangle. She told people seated at the various tables throughout the Rollo Room, that we didn't know either.

Rod knew, that didn't include him. Rod felt that the whole weekend would go in the direction chosen by Mike. Well . . . Rod thought, we'll see.

The Head Roister stood and indicated with his hands that there would be a about ten minute time between talks.

ANNE FOUND Marge, her best friend, and let her know that this wasn't what she signed up for: "Marge . . . Marge . . . what do
you think? Stick figures, small stick figures. I couldn't even see, if the spokesperson didn't explain, I wouldn't know anything. I don't know if I should have signed us up."

\--5--

THE SECOND SPEAKER FINISHED. 'Who am I with Christ,' The second rollo left many asking questions.

KB questioned the premise of the talk: "I don't understand. How am I different with Christ. Isn't this the same as 'Who am I'?"

Edward couldn't understand:"Wouldn't I be the same; whoever I

am?"

Carolle smiling, asked: "I don't understand. Aren't I the same person with Christ? Oh . . . that's what the speaker said. I'm not the same with Christ. Sorry for the question."

Anne thought, now we 're getting somewhere.

Mike kept the conversation going: "Carolle, you feel that you are a different person with Christ. Can you tell us more?"

Carolle looked at Mike: "Sure . . . I am a different person with Christ in my heart. Well, when I read Scripture, He comes along side me to explain the importance of what I'm reading.

"I don't understand how, but the Scriptures now makes sense. Before I invited Christ into my heart, the Scripture remained

'Blah.' I couldn't understand the Israelis, the Kings of Judea, God . . . nothing. Afterward it became clearer."
Mike interjected: "There is a verse in Corinthians that says: 'The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God for they are foolishness to him, nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned' (1 Cor 2:14). Spiritual things are discerned by the spiritual. Is that what you mean?" Mike asked.

Carolle wrestled with her agreement: "Yes, that must be it. I

never read that, but I have a long way to go to get to Corinthians.

"I started in Genesis and I'm only up to Numbers. Another

thought came to me. Christ gives me a different – take Russia and Syria. Some people don't see anything unusual about what's happening with Russia and Syria, but the Bible states it clearly.

"Pastor Ernie went over that few Sundays ago. Like Pastor Ernie says, the world events . . . don't bother me. I have this peace. Peace, Christ gives me peace."

Edward Bliss straighten his six foot frame, and looked at Carolle: "Aren't you afraid of dying?"

Carolle, always smiling, adjusted her gaze: "No . . . Christ not only provides peace, but knowing Christ, I'm not afraid of death."

KB blurted out: "You mean Christians aren't afraid of death? Well I never think about dying, and I guess once you're gone, that's it. The pain and the suffering involved in dying . . . I'd just as soon not go through that."

Edward Bliss, touching his hand to the back of his neck, he's British and not sure if he should be there, questioned Mike: "I suppose you have a Scripture for that too?" He expressed his anger by lifting his chin the way the British do.

Mike answered calmly: "Well, I do. In Corinthians also, after

Christ had died, risen and ascended, Paul speaks to us, the church,
through the Corinthians. Paul referenced Isaiah 25:8: 'Death is swallowed up in victory. O, death where is your sting' " (1Cor

15:55).

Edward commented with: "Humpf."

Anne told Carolle officially: "Carolle, you should read the New Testament next. Intersperse it with the Old Testament. Old, New, Old. That way you would get to Corinthians faster."

Carolle quizzically looked at Anne: "I'll read the New Testament after I finish Numbers."

Mike asked the group at the Angel table: "What about the drawing?"

Anne asked: "Why are the drawings so small? Lets make ours bigger."

Rose explained: "The drawings start small until we see the other drawings, and learn that no one qualifies as an artist. They stay small until someone becomes expressive."

Rod spoke up: "Well, we are expressive. Let's make our drawing bigger." I have a question, I may be a bit too expressive, but how did Carolle get her name?" Rod asked forthrightly. "Shouldn't it just be Carol or Carol Lee with two 'e' s?"

Nobody said anything.

Then Edward haltingly stated: "My first name is actually James, I

only use it for formal things like voting or buying a house.

"I've always been Edward ever since I was a bit of a lad. My father was called James, and just so I wouldn't be called Jimmy Junior, I have never used James. I've always been called Edward.
"The computer may force me into James. For now, I'm just, Edward."

Anne asked: "How did you know that her name wasn't Carol Lee, with two 'e' s?"

"The name tag"

Carolle smiled, flushed, straightened up and said: "I just didn't like Carol, so I added the 'le' so it wouldn't be pronounced Carol.

"My mother was named Carol. I didn't want to hurt her by letting her know that I didn't want to be called Carol. So, I added the "le" in my senior year in college, after my mother died."

Edward added: "My father died seven years ago. So I guess I wouldn't be Jimmy Jr. anymore, but I've been Edward for so long. It is too late to change, unless the computer requires a fist name. Then, I'll be James, but now I'm just Edward."

KB added: "I know what you mean by the computer changing things. We are looking at buying a monitor for each sales station.

"The computer system will save some time, and give us a better look at what sells and what we should keep buying, but it requires that each item be tagged with a number that indicates size, color, style, manufacturer, etc."

Anne magnified what KB said: "We just added a computing system where I work, and . . . I don't know . . . I may have to quit.

"Before we just took the $300 or so on a credit card, wrote it up, and then moved on to the next customer. Now, we have to enter it into a computer.

"In addition, we have to do it correctly, or the transaction stops,
and we have to call a supervisor, who may take her sweet time coming over."

KB, forecast his understanding of the future: "I foresee the elimination of all sales people. The customer passes a ticket over something that does all the work, now done by the salesperson."

Maryann shifted herself to the right to look at KB: "Like in the grocery store?"

"Yes."

Mike wanted to get back on topic: "What shall we draw? Without Christ each of us is the same, but different with Christ. So far, we have established that the with Christ, we have a better understanding of Scripture, peace about world events and death. Any more? "

Maryann raised a finger to gain attention. "Yes, Maryann."

"It seems that peace ought to be emphasized. We could just use

PEACE in big letters."

Mike asked: "How big should we make it?"

Edward, sketching on the paper: "This big! We want to make sure it is seen."

Anne added: "Add a Bible verse that Christ is the peace maker . . . the prince of peace." She straightened herself, and asked: "Mike you know the Scriptures. Isn't there something that we can add?"

"In the Old Testament . . . Isaiah. God calls the One who will
come, the 'Prince of Peace.' Let me make sure. Yes, Isaiah 9:6. We could put that in smaller letters. PEACE, then Is. 9:6."

"Are we all agreed?" Mike asked.

Anne looked at Kenny out of the corner of her eye, but didn't turn her head: "Yes, I just feel that with Christ there is more. It's like

an emptiness without Him.

"Yes, peace with Him. Yet, there is more. My whole existence, what I'm interested in, my purpose . . . knowing Christ changes everything. Wouldn't you agree?"

Edward questioned: "Your purpose?"

Anne explained: "Yes, my purpose, to live like a Christian. As Paul says: 'That I might win some to Christ.' In other words, I'm not just a high end sales girl, but an ambassador for Christ.

"I won't be a sales girl forever, but I will always be an ambassador. Lord willing, I can always represent Him."

Maryann jumped in: "I never considered I would stop being a mom or an attorney. But looking at the bigger picture . . . everything will eventually be changed.

"Yet, even as I lay in a hospital bed, I can represent Christ as an ambassador. It makes me think. Ambassadors for Christ do not need a bigger house or fancy clothes."

Rod interrupted to end what he considered a silly conversation: "They're starting. Let's see how big they drew their ideas."

Anne thought, now we are getting somewhere. I've got to find

Marge.
There she is . . . over by the Head Roister He had indicated by his hands that we would have ten minutes to the next talk. Anne waited to talk to her best friend. "What do think? Are we getting somewhere? My table brought up death. Did yours?"

Marge indicated that her table didn't mention the subject: "No. We didn't mention death."

Anne frowned, and couldn't understand: "That's what knowing Christ is all about . . . isn't it? How could you have not mentioned it?"

"I don't know . . . we just didn't. He gives peace. I thought your poster said it all . . . your poster was terrific. I wonder what the next topic will be?"

\--6--

"HELLO, MY NAME IS TRAVIS, SOME OF YOU may know me as one of the table leaders. My wife has something to say later, wife's name is Shirley.

"Our topic is 'God Designed Marriage.' I have to let you know that when I was growing up, people got married in a church,"

Anne thought, everybody knows that.

". . . but there was much drinking at the reception. I remember at one wedding two guys almost got into a brawl at the no host bar.

"The bartender made himself very clear that soft drinks and juice were complementary, but if you wanted alcohol, you had to pay for the drinks yourself. This fellow only wanted a beer, and thought the bride's daddy, being a CEO of some big corporation,
would not have any trouble paying for one beer."

Anne asked herself, what does this have to do with Kenny asking

Jesus into his heart?

". . . They got quite heated, said some loud words, and almost got into a fight.

"Then there are the bachelor parties. Where a bunch of guys would take their friend, the groom, who would be married tomorrow, probably in a church, because that is what the bride wanted, to a gentleman's club.

"Let him know that he was doing a bad thing: getting married and all that entailed. This special night, his last night of freedom, would be celebrated like none other. They gathered with him to enjoy his last night of freedom.

"Then there was the honeymoon. Not sure where that word came from." Some of the younger folks in the audience laughed.

"We spent $20,000 on our honeymoon. Had a wonderful time vacationing in Cabo, Mexico. Cabo San Lucas, a place Shirley fantasized about.

"But after we got home, the bills followed. I think after ten years. I'm still paying them off. After the honeymoon, we both went back to our jobs.

"It turned out good, because we both looked forward to coming home. Considered adults, now that we were married. Although we acted like teenagers in Cabo.

"It wasn't like that in the olden days, way back in the time of Solomon. The girl's parents selected the young man, even before he and she had met. The Jewish way of marriage still prevails in
some countries today.

"When the young man became 19 years. of age, and he had passed into manhood at his Bar Mitzvah at age 13, when he was

no longer mama's boy, but now the responsibility of his father. Six years had passed, and he was feeling his oats, and he wanted a woman.

"The normal procedure involved building an extra room on his father's house, which would take him almost a year. He knew whom he would marry, and he would learn to love her as dad loved mom. He would be driven by lust, not love, to add this room and get married.

"All the men in town lived through the bridegroom anticipating the soon to be held wedding feast and the wedding night. They made sure no short-cuts were taken in the construction.

"The room had to be perfect. Marriage lasted forever in those days. Divorce was not common, and they accepted that the marriage lasted forever."

Edward squeezed Maryann's hand.

"Moses had made a provision for a husband to give his wife a certificate of divorce, and to put her away. Jesus clarified Moses' message: 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so . . .' (Matt 19:8).

"In time, all the elders had looked at the room, and had given their approval for the wedding feast to begin.

"The bridegroom would start the procession from the new room on his father's house, to the bride's house and back again. When he showed up at the bride's house everyone understood the
wedding feast would begin soon. The groom had completed the extra room, he would marry, and soon a seven-day feast would follow.

"Wonderful excitement filled everyone. We find a reference to this event in Jesus teaching about the five wise and foolish

virgins, who were waiting at the bride's house for the bridegroom.

"A man yearns for a constant companion, just as a woman seeks security and a permanent relationship. Jesus explained in the book of Mathew:

"'Do you not know that God created them, male and female,' and He said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father

and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'"

"Jesus continues:

"'so then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.' ( Matt 19:4-6)

"Jesus referred to the story in Genesis where it is recorded that God created man to be in fellowship with God. But man felt empty. He wanted something else. Something that he could touch and to whom he could talk. Something other than himself.

"Then God created woman to be man's companion, a helper for man. I remember the story: God asked man to name all the animals, which Adam did.

"As written in Genesis:

' . . . none was found to be a mate for man. "So, God made man to sleep and when man
was asleep God took a rib out of man's side and fashioned a woman.'

"When Adam awoke, he was thrilled as a husband on his wedding day. Adam exclaimed,

"'Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh;

she shall be call woman, because

she was taken out of man.' (Gen 2:23)

"Moses wrote in Hebrew, so he would have written 'ish' and

'ishahah'. We speak English, but even the King James English doesn't connect with us and show the joy and the excitement in Adam's voice. I'm sure he said, 'Wow! Look at that. She is beautiful.'

"I can't wait to see your drawings."

MARYANN BLISS spoke first: "Well, I've got the drawing: a star

– all a glitter."

KB chimed in: "So, God made marriage. I'm with Travis. KB continued slowly, "Marriage I considered a woman's and a church thing.

"Of course with fifty percent women and with homos, who would ever think about God designing marriage. If it says so in the Bible and Jesus supported it . . . then God must have designed it."

Edward added: "Be careful what you read in the Old Testament. Man has come quite a long way since the Old Testament.

"Does anyone believe that the earth was created out of nothing as it says in Genesis?" Edward touched his neck.

Mike vented his belief and the errors of evolution: "Genesis is
often attacked as not being relevant. Yet, Jesus quoted the Book of Genesis which gives me some belief that it happened in a way close to Moses' description. If one were going to describe the current situation of man and women and the promise of a Savior, Genesis and the story of Adam and Eve comes amazingly close."

Edward leaned back, touched his neck and, backed off a little: "I now know that Genesis must be okay. Some of it, but not all of it."

Mike countered: "Some of Genesis can be confusing. The problem with the Bible, God inspired the writing of the Word, as Paul told Timothy (2 Tim 3:16).

"Edward, which parts do you leave out? Who says which parts are inspired by God? Some think they know, but they don't. To me, God inspired all of the Bible."

Anne turned away form KB, and looked toward Mike: "I know I had a hard time beginning the Bible. All of my schooling taught me evolution happened and the Bible had to include evolution, or the Bible erred-\--all the fossils they found.

"I finally had to accept, by faith, that God wrote the Bible., and evolution did not occur, but what we know as creation took place.

"Many events occurred in the Bible, that only God would know. He must have written the Bible. If He put himself in the writing, I believe that He also involved himself in the copying and the canonizing of the Bible.

"There are many versions in bookstores, but they all mention Jesus Christ: His birth, crucifixion, and ascension. The historian, Josephus, supported these facts. Also, other secular historians at the time supported the facts concerning Jesus of Nazareth."
Carolle smiled and supported Anne: "If you look at the Bible with an all or nothing point of view, then I have to agree with Mike

and Anne . . . . God created woman and marriage." "We all agree?" Mike asked looking toward Rod.

"I guess so, but it sure stands a bunch of the teaching about evolution on it's ear. Is evolution wrong?"

"It's not found in the Bible. Most evolutionists don't believe in

God," Mike said.

Mike refocused the group: "Does the star convey all we are saying? Do you think the star emphasizes women? Didn't God do it?"

Rod inquired, "Well, how do you draw God? Maybe, He did it. Maybe, He did everything, but how do we draw it?"

Maryann had an idea: "Let's take the emphasis off women, and show them both. Him as a handsome man and her as a beautiful woman. He probably created them naked, so we have to turn them away, or have something covering parts of them.

Mike added: "Clothes were added later. After they sinned." Edward found an opening: "Sinned? You mean eating of the fruit,

what a bunch of story telling."

Mike fixed his gaze on Edward: 'How else would you explain our fallen condition and the promise of a Savior . . . Jesus Christ?"

Edward keeping a stiff upper lip: "We all wear clothes. I certainly wouldn't look good in my all together."

Anne replied: "That's part of the aging process. If you looked like
Adam, a new creation of God, you wouldn't feel so vulnerable.

"Then, if I looked like Eve, I wouldn't look so plump either." Anne knew she looked a little dumpy, even for her age. She also knew why she came to this retreat, and this wasn't it.

Rose gazed at Mike, and she said in support: "Read Genesis 1 to

3. It's all there. Mike's favorite verse . . . one of his favorites . . . Gen 1:1: 'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.'

"Interesting isn't it? You know . . . earth supports life. No other planet supports life, and something keeps us at the right temperature. I learned that a few degrees either way, and we would burn-up or freeze solid.

"The scientists study, but they don't come up with any answers. Neither evolution, or creation by God can't be proved."

Mike, running out of time: "A handsome man and a beautiful woman. Who can draw?"

Maryann accepted the challenge. She also offered to be the spokesperson.

ANNE MET Marge afterward. "Your table did it again. I wish we had somebody who can draw."

"Originally Maryann, she's the one, thought of a star. I don't know where see got that idea. I wonder what they will talk about next. Maybe that we should forgive our mates?"

"I don't forgive Bill enough. If he does something, I hold over him for days"

"Days . . . don' t you mean weeks."

"Weeks . . . sometime months."

"I know, if KB does something, I never let it go."

Anne noticed: "They are getting ready to start again. This is all very nice, but when will they talk about knowing Christ? That' s why I dragged KB here."

They entered the Rollo Room.

\--7--

THE SPEAKER STARTED. "I AM Jack and this is my wife, Blanch, I don't know why they picked us, but anyway . . . I am going to talk on a very important topic --"

Rod thought, yeah.

Anne said so one could hear: "It better be about Jesus."

"The Difference Between Men and Women . . . and the roles they play in marriage. Women, you need to listen, and men – you need to listen, also.

"Men, you may already know and agree to what I am going to say, but you will probably think that you are the only one, or that you are abnormal.

"Women listen . . . your men are normal, and no matter what you think; your men act as men. You may be thinking . . . that's normal, and it may apply to most men and women, but not me or him. I'm different."
Rod thought, yeah.

"Listen up folks, you may know people that don't behave and think as I'm going to describe, and there are probably some men and women out there that don't think and behave as I' m about to describe, but most men and women fall into these behavior patterns. It's okay to be men and women, that is how God made you . . . different."

Well it's about time, Rod agreed.

Anne questioned it: "Yeah?" She said this emphatically, but softly.

The women looked at each other like they had never heard this before. Slowly they turned their attention back to the speaker.

"As I describe women in general, you may notice your husband or some of the other men at the table nodding their heads in agreement.

Yeah, Rod agreed.

"According to various scientific studies, such as those referenced in a book by John Nicholson, Men and Women published by Oxford press in 1974, women mix right brain \-- emotions, feelings, color etc. and left brain – logic, analysis, math etc. thoughts and ideas easily.

"Men's brains, cannot do this. Thus the difference. They simply can not do it. Men take one particular task at a time, they deal with it in either the right or left brain, but not both sides simultaneously as women. Men and women have different approaches to each situation

Anne thought, I never considered this. Men are different.
"When applied in marriages, females need to remember that the male easily becomes confused and frustrated when the left brain and the right brain become intertwined. Men cannot deal whit this."

The wives looked at each other again.

"Women, by not interrupting or changing topics in midstream, may help your conversations with your husbands. Answering his questions, although obvious to you, may also help you in your conversations. He may not say it, and it may not show, but a regrouping occurs in men when topics switch between the right and left brain.

" Ask them, they will tell you. Frustration sets in.

"For example, a female fully understands, when she says, 'You know those shoes I like, well I saw them at Ross's for $42.00. I also saw a blue sweater for thirty-nine dollars.' Some men would have difficulty knowing what to say next. Not another woman. She would know that no purchase took place.

"The male and the female have different interests. "Women, seek to be part of a relationship. The easiest way to hurt a woman . . .

is to leave her out of the plans and discussions that affect her. Women do not want to hurt relationships . . . any important relationship. Males need to remember, listen men . . . "

"That's you Kenny," Anne interjected softly.

". . . that females see love in a relationship when everything is talked over, all sides discussed, and all relationships explored before making a decision.

"Men seek to be accepted and given respect (Eph 5:33). The easiest way to hurt a man, look at him with doubt, or question
him – his ideas, his efforts, his plans, his thoughts, etc.

"A man also becomes hurt when he is compared to other men, groups, so-called experts, etc. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's a man's thing. Like looking at a curvy blond belongs to a man."

This guy knows what he's talking about, Rod thought. Maybe I

could pick up a few pointers.

"The male and female communicate differently. They even use different definitions. Love for a man means affection. Each expression of affection for a man means reaching out in God's love to his special someone.

"Love for woman means someone loyal, making everything look right. Communication troubles easily develop between men and women . . . married or not. In the workplace, for example, men tend to hire men, and women tend to hire women, so they can communicate with each other more easily.

"Most women would speak about 50,000 words per day compared to men who barely reach 25,000 words each day. Women, therefore, always seek more communication from their men, and men don't want to say much after their 25,000 words.

"Unfortunately, many men may have spoken their 25,000 words or more while away from their spouse. Some women have been home alone or with children all day, and haven't been able to say much at all. It is normal that she has a few things to say, and he has said all he is going to say. Thus, the problem of communication in most marriages: she wants more; he wants less.

"Problems develop in any marriage . . . wouldn't you agree?"

Yeah, thought Rod, agreeing with Jack.
Anne didn't say anything.

"The male and female approach situations differently.

"Men desire to rise to the challenge of the occasion, and expect to determine what might need adjustment or repair. He wants to fix everything. Men tend to charge in. Going slow isn't a part of their thought process.

"Women, on the other hand, desire to talk it out, which helps them to put the situation in the past. No fixing sought, or required. Just listening. Men, who make good listeners reign supreme in marriages. Men you need to listen more, and fix less.

"Nowhere are these differences more evident than in the areas of money, children and sex. Ask your spouse which differences apply. Develop a common ground.

"The male and female even see marriage differently. Many times these significant differences remain hidden or overlooked until the honeymoon ends.

"When a couple courts one another, both will agree, 'Anything is okay. All is great, as long as we are together. It's us against the world, We are in love, and You can't stop us.'

"For many, the honeymoon changes everything. Before marriage, a future wife seeks a relationship, and some women may agree to almost anything to enter into such a permanent relationship as marriage. Men also agree to anything to have companionship and affection.

"After the marriage a woman no longer struggles to enter into a permanent relationship. She has one; it's hers. She is all set. "Therefore, her interest in boating or sports may end, much to the surprise of her new husband, who still seeks companionship,
acceptance and respect in his marriage, which surely contained boating or sports."

That's why, Rod thought. I thought so, but I didn't know why. Everything changed after the honeymoon. Carolle thinks like a woman; I think like a man. Were different.

"In addition, two more items cause difficulties. One, men charge in. I know I've said this before. Men are like an electrical switch. They become ready for affection instantaneously.

"Women become ready more slowly than men, their like an iron heating, gradually. Men, you can see this when she does her hair, so . . . men go slowly . . . to match her timetable. It won't be the same as yours.

"Two, women tend to become manipulative. I see some men nodding their heads in agreement. Women, you need to stop this conduct if you want your marriage to thrive, and not swoop into darkness. You don't want to become like Rebecca, manipulating Issac.

"She manipulated the situation so that Jacob would receive the blessing, in Gen 24:17. She helped God she thought, and in so doing, a few days – turned into twenty years, She never saw her favorite son, Jacob, again – twenty years later."

All the women, including Anne, gasped at this portrayal. Rod agreed, and thought, nah . . . Carolle wouldn't be

manipulative, or would she. "God has a plan.

"God said of marriage the man shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. How does He expect mankind to do
this?"

Yeah, I want to find out, Rod thought.

"Good marriages include listening-time, going slow, and adjusting conversations to accept these significant differences. Guys take time to listen, and go slow. Ladies, when talking to your

husbands, switch slowly between right brain and left brain thoughts."

"A marriage gets better when the spouses heartily follow God's plan for husbands and wives."

God has a plan? Rod thought to himself.

"God does not require the knowledge of rocket science to understand a reading in Ephesians:

"'Wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head

of the Church; and He is the Savior of the body.' (Eph 5:22-23)

"God uses a military term to establish order, not to eliminate a woman's initiative, contributions or spunk. Continuing in Ephesians, Paul says:

"'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the Word.' (Eph 5:25-26)

"Naturally, various behaviors fall way outside God's definition of love. The world and Satan have changed God's definition of love to mean something not intended or not Biblical. God defines love
in 1 Corinthians 13. Reading a part:

"'Love is patient (suffers long), love is kind; love does not envy; love

does not parade itself, is not puffed up (blows it's horn); does not behave

rudely, does not seek it's own (selfishness),

is not provoked, thinks no evil . . .' (1 Cor 13:4-5)

"God makes it easy! Two rules: one for the husband, one for the wife. The husband loves, and the wife submits (Eph 5:22-26).

"Notice, when reading these words of life, these instructions for husbands and wives come without conditions. There is no 'if' anywhere.

"Both spouses contribute so that their marriage can be all God had originally designed. Each spouse has a part to do. Each spouse commits themselves to follow God's plan, without conditions, such as if he or she will, then I will.

"God's rules do the impossible; they bring bliss and companionship to the marriage of a man and woman."

I see . . . that applies to Carolle . . . and me too, Rod thought. Nah. Rod wasn't convinced.

"For a marriage to work like a romantic slow-dance, each spouse applies the words of God's plan to their marriage. Looking over the dance floor of life, fantastic marriages: flow, bend and twirl from one end of the floor to the other, in a oneness that catches everyone's attention.

"Even the clumsiest, uncoordinated leader will move across the dance floor with a following spouse. Yet, the finest, smoothest, and most confident husband remains stalled with a partner, who has decided not to follow.

"Marriage is like that. One leads; one follows.

"Marriages get better when these principles are applied. Yet, either spouse, who will not learn to dance, or do their part, may find themselves alone, howling at the moon, or sitting on the

fence in the cold night. First, just one night, then more often, until the marriage dissolves or grows apart without anyone knowing how the dissolution occurred.

"In the modern world, which stands against God and marriage of a man and a woman, questions and doubts arise. Generally, these questions and doubts come from the spouse who must elect voluntarily to follow the other across the dance floor of life."

The couples looked at each other, questioningly.

"Will they mess it up, you may ask. He may mess it up . . . I did . .

. I know, and it costs me a great amount of money to repair my mistakes. Pray that he will quickly learn his God ordained role to become the leader of the home. Let him know he leads of your marriage. Let him lead; let him experience short comings, and pay for his mistakes.

"He will get better, and he will love his wife more, because you have seen him in a struggle, and he has learned that you still love him. Criticism goes against a man's ongoing desire for acceptance, approval, and affection.

"Even helping your husband, unless he asks, can hurt the relationship. Let him experience the problems, and come up with his own solutions.

"'What do I do?' you're asking. 'I pursued him; asked him to marry me. We may not dance well, but we do dance, when I tell him. I lead, but nobody knows, except him'.
"To those who dominate your husband to this extent, you have an almost impossible problem, although nothing is impossible for a loving God. With great difficulty and submission, change will come to him.

"Or . . . what if he directs me to do the unthinkable? To something to which I would say, 'No way. Not here, or not now.' If the unthinkable borders on Biblical, illegal, immoral, hurtful etc. I suggest talking to Pastor Ernie.

"If not hurtful, etc. do it. Follow him. Or say, 'Okay, I'll do what you say, but I'm not too comfortable with this.' Sinners do foolish things, I know . . . I did. It may be a good idea to talk it over."

You tell them, Jack, Rod thought.

"Marriages develop into long love affairs from acceptance and adaptability. Some couples question the validity of Biblical truth, not wanting to trust God or His Word or they fail to understand His design for marriage, or the differences between the men and women He created. Some may have a good marriage, but if they choose, they could have a terrific marriage. Both spouses have to determine that they must adapt and go God's way.

"Well, I can speak for the men. Now, I'll let Blanch share. She will talk to the women."

Anne turned toward Blanch, a thirty something with an oval face, soft brown hair, flaring out just above her shoulders, and looked

at her attentively.

BLANCH STARTED: "First, to the men I would say, I agree with the characteristics of the normal male. Men are rough, uncouth, risk takers, athletic. Everything we aren't . . . and more."
Is she going to say the same thing? I got it, already, Rod wondered.

"Although we can follow the roles set forth – for me, love must

be expanded to a definition as God has described in 1 Corinthians

13.

"For example, I never saw love to include sex. I don't know where sex fits in. I just thought it occurred in marriage . . . a necessary, nice part. We really missed those close times of intimacy, when we found ourselves too tired or he worked late."

Jack took the microphone, and added to what Blanch said: "I wish my Dad was here, because he could speak about missing the intimate times, note that I didn't say intercourse, he passed Viagra a long time ago, but the touching in a non-sexual way. He misses the touching, kissing, etc. since his wife decided intimacy meant they were both in the same room reading books." Jack gave the podium back to Blanch.

"Let me say, somewhat reluctantly, it took a lot of backing off, but now I agree with everything Jack said. Let the male alone, and he will be the best provider, defender and take-charge man a women could want. I know about, Jack. I love him.

"I mentioned that it took a great deal of backing off to find this out. The world has so conditioned men to be like women. We see this in clothing, workplaces, and housing decor.

"Jack tells a story about going to an all men's meeting at Fred's house. The men were cooking bacon and eggs, and one man reached into the frying pan that had the excess bacon to grab a piece of the already cooked and dried bacon. He then ate the bacon strip in the middle of the kitchen!"

Rod thought, what else? It 's natural. Only if there is a female
near-by, would I do it differently.

"I was aghast \-- the first time I heard this story. I interrupted him.

'You mean without a plate?' 'Of course.' He continued that the other men of the group also fished bacon slices out of the same pan and ate it."

See, I told ya, Rod delighted.

"One of the men said, 'I'll bet you wouldn't do that at home, where somebody will slap your hand?"

"'Yeah, but we're all men, so it's okay.'"

"Jack goes on to tell me that they then turned into the Dining room, which had been set the night before. Gracie, Fred's wife, had used the best silver, provided china and two glasses at each place setting.

"All gleamed perfection . . . the Dining table, covered with a tablecloth and a centerpiece of fresh flowers. The men proceed into the Dining room, sat at the settings and behaved just like women at a tea. Isn't that a hoot.

"You have heard the expression, 'Boys will be boys.' Well, I say,

'Viva la difference!' Women, listen to me, men want to be in- charge. Let them!

"I thought Jack had made a terrible mistake buying our house, but now I find that he made a good decision. At first, no. Later, I love it, and him for making that decision."

Well, goody for you, Rod thought.

"I think of our marriage as a dance, and he is my partner, leading me across the dance floor of life. If we both lead, we go nowhere.
"If I let him lead, we make a beautiful couple. Wouldn't you agree? Even if Jack has two left feet, which he doesn't, if I let him lead, we would still be a better off couple than if I led.

"Jack, do you have something further?" She nodded toward him. "No, I just wanted to close with a test they can discuss at their

tables. Here's the test." He walks to the microphone. "A husband driving home from a party pulls off and parks at North Lake thinking of something romantic.

"His wife looks out her window, and reads to herself a sign that says, 'No Parking.' What she says next, and how she says it could make for a fantastic or an awful night.

"I can't wait to see your thoughts on submission, love, and the pictures you will draw."

Anne thought about what Blanch just said. She also noticed the rain streaking on the windows, and wondered what next?

CAROLLE said: "I certainly need to back off a bunch. I know you think Rod is in charge, but not really. I know what he wants to do, but I am always there, ready to do it my way."

Maryann turned in her seat. Emotions under control, she questioned the speaker: "I don't agree that all men and women behave that way. I'm not chatty. Edward is quiet, but I'm not chatty or manipulative."

Anne added: "Me too. I'm not chatty, either."

KB commented: "If I had pulled off the road next to North Lake, and Anne said something about the sign . . . it would have been curtains! It would have ended in a big argument and a terrible
evening"

"I wouldn't have said anything," Anne lied.

Rose jumped in to quell the disturbance brewing: "You know, it would have been a silent drive home. But I would not have let it end there.

"I've learned by attending these retreats, and I would apologize to Mike for what I said and was thinking. We are not perfect, but we do forgive each other, and like Paul says in Acts, 'But none of these things move me' (Acts 20:24)."

The test produced much talk among the tables. The wives explaining that they weren't talkative or manipulative. The men thought with only one side of their brain. The men delighted that someone had said what they knew about being different.

No one spoke softly or suggested that the man relocated the car. Rob spoke up: " Rose, why did Mike turn home?"

"Were not perfect. He wouldn't know what else to do."

Carolle added: "What if he parked somewhere else. He could have seen the sign."

Rose stated flatly: "Mike would have parked in that spot. He doesn't see much."

"I've got it," Maryann shouted out above all the commotion.

"If you all agree, in Ephesians, Paul says 'Wives be submissive to your husbands as unto the Lord.' Then he follows that with

'Husbands love your wives,' and so . . . I think we should make a picture of both the wife and husband kneeling to each other."
Edward replied first: "Fantastic! Jolly good!"

Carolle added her support: "Yes!" A big smile let everyone know she agreed with the picture proposed by Maryann.

Mike asked: "You all agree?" "Yes."

Eventually, they showed the picture to the group.

Rod pointed out the window, now streaked with big rain drops falling: "It's raining. I'm getting hungry, are we going to be trapped here?"

Lunch announced by the Head Rosita required everyone to run through the rain. "A warm lunch would heat your hungered tummies," he said, holding his hands over his head about 12 inches apart.

Carolle tried to put the rain into perspective: "It will quit soon –

besides its warm outside."

Anne looked at the rain. Anne didn't know what to do.

Rod stated what all were thinking: "Aren't they going to do something else?"

\--8--

AFTER LUNCH, SATURDAY, THE TABLE Folks said their good-byes and disappeared with their mates. They stopped at the door briefly, and then went out into the rain. A little rain weighed against remaining in the Dining Room and staying all
cooped up with their leaders and table mates. Besides, they ran through the rain to lunch when the rain came down in big drops.

"I've never seen that before. They couldn't wait to be with their spouses," Rose commented.

"They really flew out of here," Mike said calmly. "They must have a whole bunch to share that they didn't say to us. That is the way it is for table leaders. Isn't it?"

"We have both been table leaders before . . . they sure were eager."

"What do they have to say to each other? Maybe we did something wrong.

"Maybe, we didn't dig deeper. Maybe the discussion about the test that Jack gave us caught us by surprise. As table leaders we should not be surprised, and acted like non-Christians. We should have been ready.

"We did get caught by the test, but remember this is God's thing. We perform like His instruments," Mike reminded Rose.

ANNE MOVED KB to the line outdoors after lunch. The Head Rosita indicated that they were to discuss the rollos, but Anne was turning over in her mind what Jack just said about the difference between men and women. Maybe Kenny acted like all men, she thought.

Anne remembered, that the Head Rosita had held his hands over his head several feet apart, and announced, "Freetime." No rollos were planned until later, and now each person could be with their spouse and discuss the talks so far," he explained.
The rain had changed from big, constant drops to small, infrequent drops. The sun peaked through, and the rain became a welcome soft summer rain rather than a downpour that everyone ran through to the Dining Room, after the Jack and Blanch's rollo.

KENNY FOLLOWED Anne down the concrete walk to a secluded spot. He thought aloud about breakfast: "I couldn't believe the spread they provided: bacon, ham, eggs, pancakes, and I didn't have to ask about coffee. Those cooks have something I don't have."

Anne kissed him and said: "Is this a great retreat or what? I have never been on one of these. Last night my luggage was on my bed with a hand written note from my table leader., Rose. Maryann got one too, different from mine.

"We compared. We both had an angel on our notes and they were signed by Rose, so we realized we would be together for something.

"A woman waved at me, so I said, 'Hello.' I know we weren't suppose to talk, She didn't; I was ready, but it 's a ridiculous rule. I don't know why they make a big deal about it. Did you guys follow it?"

"I don't know anyone that spoke until breakfast."

ROD HELD Carolle by the waist as they walked in the soft rain: "I really missed you last night, all warm and cuddly."

"I missed you, too. Did I do okay speaking about my relationship with Jesus?"

"Fine."
"Well that is exactly how I feel. There is something indescribable. It is hard to say to someone, 'You really must let Jesus into your heart.'"

"Yeah."

"It can be insulting to share. One must be so careful that you don't imply that they could do better."

"Yeah."

"So, I did okay?" "Yeah."

EDWARD GRABBED Maryann's hand. He looked both ways. They walked in the rain to a spot where He thought they could be alone for a while. Edward sat down, leaning against the hill in

the sparse grass. He looked around. They were finally alone.

No being nice, meeting new people, saying things that you didn't want to say. No looking at strange people. No tests. The rain had become softer. The warmth of the rain felt good; besides the rain had almost stopped.

Maryann expressed to Edward, "All that noise, it's killing me. No wonder. All the folks look younger than us, they are. It's only one weekend, but I had no idea that they would separate couples into two dorms. This is a couples retreat.

"Anne really wants KB to become a Christian. She went on and on about having a Christian husband and Christ in her home. I heard her tell Kathleen. I tried to shut her up . . . but to no avail." Maryann rambled. Edward hoped the rain would stop, and he settled against the hill trying to relax.

Edward turned his bony body trying to find a comfortable spot against the hill. He acknowledged Maryann and her ramblings: "This is a nice place." Edward closed his eyes. He wrapped his hand around his neck and tried to go to sleep.

Maryann continued: "I mean sleeping bags don't suit us. I had to borrow two from the Gladstones."

MIKE HAD an opportunity to say what was really bothering him. Mike wanted to know about his table leading. He moved Rose gently to a private corner in the Dining Room where he could ask her. Besides, the rain kept them inside. He knew her well. So, he asked her straight out: "Did I do good as a table leader?"

"You didn't do much. I guess it was okay. Nobody complained." "We blew it on Jack's test, he must have added that test. I never

herd it before.

"As a table leader, you know, you don't do much, except get a conversation started, or keep a conversation going. You have to get everyone involved. Occasionally, you have to remind the table the subject of the talk. Or . . . if you are running out of time, you may remind the table that they have to draw a picture."

"I think you did that once. Now, that I know what you were doing, you really listened, and let them wander a bit. Gee, you

did the table leading just like you said," Rose said, feeling proud of her Mike.

That's exactly what he wanted to hear: "Now, if my talk would go as well."

"Of course it will. You have been practicing. The other table
leaders critiqued you. I remember you were a bit down, then you changed the talk to fit their desires.

"I think God played a role in the critiquing and He won't let you give a bad talk." Rose had faith, and laid it all out: "You are His instrument. You will be fine. God won't let you down."

"THOSE COOKS really doted on us. They were so nice," Kenny said. "The cooks glowed. They had something I didn't have. Did you see it?" Kenny asked Anne: "Did you see it too?"

The opportunity she and God had waited for; Kenny comparing himself to someone else, but God wasn't saying to her, "This is it! Jump in and tell him, he can glow with Jesus."

Anne acknowledged that Kenny's coming to God belonged to God, and His timing was always perfect. She wouldn't say anything.

She replied to Kenny's question: "That is the same glow that the girls in the church office show me. Come to think of it, they go out of their way to help me find something." Anne prayed, thank you Jesus. You have him noticing and thinking.

Then she told the Lord what loomed in her heart, I know this is Your weekend, but it would be so nice if Kenny would ask You into his heart and You would guide him. Also, You know I'm getting older, and kids and a family will not be possible.

EDWARD HAD closed his eyes; the rain almost had stopped and, as Maryann expected, he went to sleep. She was thinking, as the rain slowly stopped, about the first and second talks.

"Who am I," she wondered, she knew she enjoyed being
housewife, didn't enjoy being an attorney and a mother, although her kids were gone. Mostly she concentrated on shopping.

Being an attorney never really enthralled her. The second talk, "Who am I with Christ," she answered to herself, a shopper, but, that's not all. I am a wife.

Or, am I? I used to be. I remember . . . Edward and I couldn't

wait until the kids would be asleep. Then I was a real wife. That's probably why we had more children.

All that changed as we got older. I'm fifty-four, and he is fifty\- seven. After menopause, I stopped doing wifely things.

"You were no longer a wife," a voice interjected. Almost having a conversation with this other voice, she

exclaimed: "It 's not all my fault. Edward wasn't the man I married. He has become paunchy, and he doesn't have the desire he had when we were younger. I remember once I wore this sexy underwear to bed, and he went wild. Those were the days."

ROD AND CAROLLE walked hand in hand, in the rain, behind the Rollo Room, a little bit farther into the woods. Rod wrapped his arms around Carolle and moved her against a tree. She arched her body and pushed against him, enjoying the warm feeling of being so close to him.

He kissed her. She kissed him back. They had their arms around each other, and were necking and kissing in the rain.

Rod licked the rain drops off Carole's neck, like they were still at Greenville High. Carolle remembered, I couldn't believe it; the captain of the football team liked me. That's the best! She smiled to herself.
He would take me to all the proms, but we would always get away, it didn't matter if it was raining cats and dogs, we would find a tree and then we would neck and kiss until the prom was about to end. And then we would have to go back. Sometimes we were wet, but so were others.

MIKE AND ROSE looked at the rain for awhile, and decided they would help the cooks prepare for dinner. There was a table leaders meeting at approximately two pm. this afternoon.

EDWARD STIRRED. then he awoke. I must have dosed off. Where is Maryann? Oh, over there . . . alone in that clearing. The rain had stopped. "You doing oky-doeky? I must have dosed off. What 'ch a been doing all this time?"

"Just thinking. A little praying. Mostly thinking." "Anything you want to share?"

"No . . . just thinking."

"Well, think all you want. I'm going back to sleep. This is the best holiday I've had in a long time."

MARYANN WATCHED Edward go to sleep. She walked a bit. She wasn't ready to share her thoughts with Edward. Not yet. She had to be sure that Edward would not jump all over her if she let him know what she was thinking.

She had been a good wife; Edward had always been a good husband. She thought about him, always working – her not working, leaving her alone – but, not listening to her. Why can't we communicate? That's what really troubles her about him.

"It's you!" said a still small voice, just like before. Me? me? It's not all me. Is it?

CLANG, CLANG, clang. Carolle jumped, Rob rolled to the side, Carolle straightened her skirt, and pulled on her top. The clanging shot through her like a knife. Like the time her parents came

home early. Poor Rod climbed out her upstairs window. Somehow he got off the roof.

Thank God the rain had stopped.

ANNE ASKED Kenny: "Did you hear the gong?"

Kenny looked at his wrist for his watch. Dropped his hand: "Supper's on? I don't feel that hungry. Have we been out here that long?"

"Yes, you fell asleep on the wet grass. I guess Blanch knew what she talked about. Men are different, certainly uncouth, messy and dirty.

MARYANN TURNED, and asked Edward: "Did you here that? "Freetime" must be over."

Edward woke up: "Yeah."

THE HEAD Roister directed them to the Rollo Room.

ALL SAT around the Angel table after "Freetime" for the next rollo, but Mike and Rose had been replaced. Did they change
table leaders in midstream?

Anne thought to herself, I hope not.

\--9--

MIKE AND ROSE TOOK THEIR PLACES AT THE podium ready to give their rollo, titled, 'Christ in Your Marriage.' "Hi, I'm Mike and this gorgeous lady, Rose, married me. I don't know why, but I'm sure glad she did."

Mike began, "After my talk you will have to draw something, and talk a little about the talk. I have to tell you that the symbol used by most churches can't be used -- even in part.

" Most churches use two rings, one for the man and one for the woman and a cross representing Christ in the middle. Every church wants Christ to be a part of your marriage, and we do too.

"Yet, each couple must decide for themselves to put Christ in their marriage. There are many other drawings besides this one. Although you may feel that I have severely limited you, many drawings have been presented which convey 'Christ in Your Marriage,' the topic of this rollo.

"Christ can make a big difference in a person's life."

Anne said so nobody could hear, "I know. That's why I brought

Kenny here; to put Christ in our marriage."

"Now, we say . . . adding Christ to your marriage, can make a big difference in your marriage.

"How?
"Even if you don't read your Bible or know about Jesus, surely you have heard Jesus say, 'Forgive them Father, they know not what they do,' and you have heard of the grace of God, a topic that begins this rollo.

"One fella, I knew," Mike continued, "experienced grace flying from Denver to Los Angeles. If you have ever flown coach on this particular route, the time of the flight is just under the the length of time that normally includes lunch or dinner served by the airlines.

"So, no lunch. This fella was sitting in his assigned coach seat, and the flight attendant asked him out of the blue, 'If he would like to become a first-class passenger?'

"He agreed. He didn't know, until he experienced it, the special treatment he would receive as a first-class passenger. Not only did he sit in a comfortable, large, seat, receive no cost television and movies, the flight attendant continued to offer no cost drinks and snacks throughout the flight.

"This blessing continued. He didn't ask to be a first-class passenger. Somebody asked him . . . a gift. He had the choice of accepting or rejecting this gift. The Bible verse that best describes grace is Ephesians 2:8. it says:

"'You have been saved by grace, not of works, so that no man can boast.' (Eph 2:8)

"Grace, a free gift with no strings attached.

"The blessings, which no one could measure, went on and on. The flight attendant gave him a lunch menu, imagine that, with four choices: prime rib, capon with grape sauce, sushi, or lamb chops. Now he knew why they pulled the curtain to separate coach from first-class. No lunch was given to the coach
passengers.

"So, what does this have to do with marriage?

"God's free gift of grace speaks directly to a marriage. "Grace is used in the Bible 120 times in the New Testament.

Back then, everybody knew the meaning of the Greek word

'charis'. It means, God's unmerited favor, freely given. You may have heard the acronym, G-R-A-C-E: God's Riches At Christ's Expense.

"In other words - Christ suffered and died in order that you can receive God's unmerited favor and blessing. Christ's gift came from God. You have to believe that Christ died for you to experience a personal relationship with Him."

"That's it. That's what I wanted to here," Anne said, almost too loud. She forgot about her not forgiving Kenny or backing off.

"Christian marriage has been described as two sinners saved by grace. In a marriage, all couples reveal their sinful nature. Oh, I might put on my church face, I might hold his hand, we might be all lovey-dove wherever we are – you know, seen by others.

"The saying, 'Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors,' couldn't be more true. In today's newspapers, we hear, 'What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas.'

"This city has made the name, 'City of Sin,' stick, and they have marketed that people can sin and get away with it. A marketing slogan that has been very successful. Not here.

"Everybody is a sinner. If you have told one lie, you qualify as a sinner. Marriage can bring out the sinner in each of us. Each of us sin all the time."
Anne wondered, she wouldn't call Kenny a sinner.

"Paul said he was the chief sinner (Ti 1:15). If you look at his life before Christ, you would easily agree. He claimed, as he says, a Pharisee to the Pharisees. Pharisee represented the highest level

of righteousness. In their own eyes, Pharisees judged the right and the wrong of the people.

"To Paul, Christianity challenged the Jewish way. He, the Pharisee to the Pharisees, went to the Chief Priest and asked for letters to allow him, Paul, to round up Christians, and bring them back to the Chief Priest for trial and imprisonment. He searched far and wide for Christian sinners. He found them easily.

"When we read Acts 9, we find that Christ appeared to Paul, and part of the conversation that nobody else could hear, Christ asks Paul an interesting question. Christ asked, 'Is it hard to kick against the goads?' (Acts 9:5). Christ revealed that He knew that Paul struggled with what he did.

"He implied, correctly, since He knows the content of men's hearts, that Paul knew down deep that what he did didn't please God. Paul had seen too many Christians die for their faith. Paul knew they had something he didn't have. Forgiveness."

"That sounds familiar," Anne whispered to Kenny.

"Forgiveness goes along with grace. The answer to someone who has sinned against you, can be found in forgiveness. That is true for myself also, but \-- that's another talk.

"Putting Christ in your marriage means you always extend grace and forgiveness to your mate. 'Spouses' . . . sounds better.

"Now, for a big one, God wants your marriage to be terrific, and

He has included His wisdom in His communications to men, and
women. His communication, the Bible, or His wisdom on marriage, the Bible, has been called The Manufacturer's Handbook."

Anne acknowledged so no one could hear, "I have never read the

Bible."

"I was touched by His wisdom when I noticed the word, love in Eph 5: 25 where it says, 'Husbands love your wives.' God told me not to listen to the world's definition of love.

"The definition as outlined in Paul's letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 13) gives us God's definition of love. In Jack's rollo I know you have looked at the definition of love. It is worth repeating:

'Love is patient, love is kind . . . love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; love...does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; love . . . bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

(1 Cor 13:4-5)

"Boy, that wasn't my understanding of love. I understood

"love" as balloons popping, loss of appetite, and not be able to speak without using Rose's name. Yet, none of these things happened when I met Rose.

"God says real love is patient and kind. We see love more in actions rather than in feelings. When I see a husband cutting the toe nails of his wife who has a disease that makes her move her legs and arms with unpredictable movements, I recognize love. Thinking about love from God's point of view changed me and
our marriage.

"It's the little things that make a marriage. Flowers, a phone call, notes. They speak of love to a woman. Not putting him down, going along . . . to be going a long, adds respect and shows a man love."

Anne said so no one could hear, "You tell 'em."

\--10--

"CHRIST IN YOUR MARRIAGE ALSO provides power over sin," Mike when on, "Christ gives us the power over sin. For example, God hates divorce so it is never mentioned in our house. God hates it, therefore, we hate it.

"Putting God's wisdom in our home makes a difference. Putting Christ and His Word in your marriage makes a better husband and a better wife."

Kenny thought about what Mike was saying, I never forgive Anne, not that she needs it. Yet, to have the power over sin and knowing God's Word could be most helpful. I'm not sure which sins I am committing but, I'm sure there are some.

Probably, my company sins more than I do. If I understand God's point of view, do I point that out to my company or leave?

Well . . . that's in the future. I will forgive Anne. I will also be more patient.

Rod whispered to Carolle: "I wonder how much longer Mike will go on? I like Mike; he's nice, in fact; the whole conference is a little "churchy", but nice. We will be separated again tonight.
"Maybe," Carolle smiled and squeezed Rod hand.

Maryann asked Edward quietly: "What do you think the table should draw? "I can't use the wedding symbol.

"It came to me so easily before. It was changed slightly, but it started out as my idea. The best choice, two rings with the Christ in the center, has already been used."

Then, she exclaimed to Edward: "I may have it," smiling widely. She described her drawing to Edward: "The word GRACE arching over a man and a woman. Stick figure decals like those

on the back of some of the cars I see parked at the grocery store." "Sounds good to me," Edward said, approvingly.

Carolle said quietly to Rod: "Nobody's listening to Mike's talk. Parts of it really speak to me. For example, I have never heard about grace that way before . . . God's Riches At Christ's Expense.

"That's so true. Remember we sinned – boy had we ever. The things we use to do before we got married. Actually, we had to get married. Didn't we?"

Kenny thought, Everyone is so nice – especially Anne. If I felt younger, we wouldn't have slept apart last night. We would have gone deeper in the woods and made-out like a couple of rabbits. I miss her so \--

"Pleasing God," Mike continued, "putting forgiveness in our marriages and using the power over sin – we please God. I don't know about you, but I want to please God.

"There are too many stories in the Bible where men decided, out of ignorance or willfully, not to please God. Their actions in the Bible ended in death."
Kenny thought, I didn't know that.

"One Bible story centers around Ananias and his wife, Sapphira. Christ had risen from the dead, and ascended, and the church was coming together. The Apostles had been set up as leaders, and God spoke through Peter.

"If I remember correctly . . . all the Christians, those that had decided to follow Christ, shared everything they had in common. Those in need received from those who chose to sell their possessions. The Apostles kept track of everything.

"Well . . . Ananias and Sapphira his wife, possessed much. They sold some of what they had, but wanting to look good in the people's eyes, they gave some the proceeds to Peter, who asked Ananias if he gave everything he received from the sale. The correct answer would have been, 'No.'

"Ananias agreed to Peter's question, and, in fact, answered, 'Yes'. A little reading between the lines shows that although Ananias agreed, he knew that he and his wife kept some of the proceeds. God chose to make him an example for the early church. Ananias chose to displease God. He lied to Peter, and he died – dead.

"But . . . the story goes on. Later, Peter saw Ananias's wife, Sapphira, and asked her the same question about the gift proceeds amounted to everything they received.

"Isn't it great that God lets each of us, men and women, decide if we want to please God or not. She agreed with Ananias. Peter said rather matter-of-factly before she died -- 'the feet who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out.'

Ananias and his wife Sapphira chose not to please God.

"Pleasing God, means doing things God's way. Read your Bible –

and do what it says. Not as easy as it looks. The world left the
Bible long ago.

"Your worldly friends won't help. Christian friends in small groups may help a little. Mostly it depends on your husband, the leader of your home. God tied the husband and wife together.

"The wife according to the Scriptures (Gen 2:18) refers to the wife as a helpmate, read a gentle helper, to her husband."

Kenny thought about Anne. She's my helper.

Maybe I should follow God? He is always there helping me. I guess He is; I've just ignored Him. Pleasing God may not be so hard to do.

"If the husband sees his wife straying," Mike said, 'he may say, that bothers me. Let's see what God's Word says about it.' Then in time, at home, they will search the Scriptures.

"If nothing can be found, the husband points this out, and says,

'According to God's Word, I shouldn't have been bothered. I'm sorry, please forgive me for thinking you were pleasing yourself and not God.' She would then say, 'I forgive you,' and nothing else. She may be tempted, but she says nothing."

That's God's way? I'm all for that, Kenny mused.

"Likewise, wives help their husbands to please God. As we read

in Ephesian 6:1, when a sinner corrects another sinner, he does so gently.

"A similar conversation could take place, except, 'let's see what God's Word says.' belongs to the husband as the leader. In humility, she gently helps him see that he chose to please men and not God.
Kenny whispered to Anne: "I just want to please God." Anne said nothing. Anne thought, it would please God if Jesus ruled our home.

Rod said to Carolle: "Mike's winding down. Oh no, he just introduced Rose."

Rose said with joy and great enthusiasm, smiling: "Didn't Mike do good?" They all applauded an ovation to Mike. The clapping became extended by the Angel table, since they really liked Mike, and they wanted the Asst. Head Rosita and his wife to know that they couldn't wait for Mike's return as table leader.

"He worried about his presentation. You know -- how would you know? I think he did a wonderful job. You must have also." More clapping.

"LET ME say I agree with everything Mike said. In our

marriage, it didn't start out that way. Oh, we did all the things the world would expect of a married couple, but when we put Christ and what the Bible says in our marriage, everything changed for the good. Truly the Bible is The Manufacturer's Handbook.

"God formed us. God inspired the writing of the Bible, so God would have included instructions for men and women in marriage. Wouldn't He? He would say how to do it, so God would receive the glory."

.

KB nodded his head in agreement. He thought, I should put Christ in our marriage. I love Anne, and maybe she understands better than I do. I should discuss it with her . . . maybe . . . .

Rose continued, "I remember reading that wives are to submit to their husbands. Submission usually doesn't happen in non- Christian marriages. The selfishness comes out and it hurts them
and their marriages. Some Christians haven't heard forgiveness or they do not know the importance of it, but submission and forgiveness is God's standard.

"Then I read further about the husband being the head of the wife. I didn't like that, but God said it . . . so, if I wanted to please God, I had to submit to Mike.

"Further down I read that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. That sounded good. Knowing it was a matter for both of us; I took my questions to Mike. We studied the Bible together."

You went to the Bible? Kenny asked himself.

"Mike said that God was talking about His order in marriage. Mike told me when we went canoeing, the one in the back of the canoe, steers.

"I remember one time we had gone to the mountains, it was so clear, and the trees reflected their images off the lake. The beauty curled my toes. Well, I found myself alone in a canoe, out in the middle of this gorgeous lake, having being pushed off the dock by the dock master. I wanted to go exploring, but I didn't go anywhere. I just went around in circles.

Then, I remembered what Mike had said about, 'The person in the back steers.' I better get in the back, and start steering. I went to the back of the canoe, and started steering. Steering a canoe, involves stroking a 'J' in the water with the paddle. It worked.

"The canoe would go straight – actually it went wherever I wanted to go. I had a beautiful time. The experience taught me about submitting to Mike. As he said, 'The one in the back steers.'"
"I hope you will all put Christ in your marriage. Thank you."

I will, thought Kenny. I want to please God.

Mike and Rose nodded to each other almost asking if each had something else to say. Then Mike said, "I can't wait to see your drawings."

A 2' x 3' piece of butcher block paper was given to each table. The new table leader, Al, accepted the piece of butcher block paper

for the Angel Table. Mike and Rose left the Rollo Room as did the other couples who had spoken.

MARYANN WAS the first to speak: "I had the drawing all set, but now I don't know. What Rose said really spoke to me."

KB wanted to know more: "How did Rose's talk speak to you?" Rod also wanted to know: "Me too. How did Rose's talk make

that much difference? She was in the middle of a lake. In a canoe or something."

Maryann replied: "Edward steers, but maybe he is suppose to. Maybe our picture should have a canoe in it?"

"What do you think about a canoe?" The Asst. Head Rosita, Al, asked. He had introduced himself as Al and his wife as Jan.

Anne assaulted the idea: "Revolving our picture around a canoe says we got more out of Rose's talk than Mike's. Rose was nice, but Mike really spelled out why we should put Christ in our marriage. Christ makes the difference, not Rose."

Maryann spoke again: "Well Rose's talk really hit home. I use to resent Edward for always taking the reins Rose's talk made me
realize that Edward's taking the reins must be done. Maybe I

should forgive him?"

Al interjected: "Maybe we should forgive each other?" Anne was the first to grab KB's hand and then Maryann.

Maryann was next, grabbing Edward's and Anne's hand.

Reluctantly, Rod took Carolle's hand and then, Al's. Jan grabbed Al's. KB grabbed Jan's and Carolle grabbed Edward's. All prayed: "Forgive, and simultaneously all named their spouses."

Al closed with what everyone was thinking: "Jesus, we ask for Your forgiveness. We are all sinners, and accept Your saving grace. We know You died for us, and we want to start our marriage again . . . on a clean slate. Amen."

KB said, "Amen," out-loud. Only he said "Amen," out loud. The rest of the table nodded their heads.

Anne noted this sight change in Kenny.

Maryann shouted out: "I've have the drawing! A clean slate. Not much drawing required, some talking . . . we can tell the group what we just did. I thought it was great!"

"What about it? A clean slate . . . it would acknowledge: Mike, forgiveness, grace, and what Christ did on the cross." asked Al.

The table exploded: "Yeah. Great idea! A clean slate. That's it."

Al looked at at the table: "Who will draw it? Who will talk about what the drawing?"

Again, the table chimed in: "We all will."
The table was eventually called, and everyone rose to go forward except Al and Janet. Al had told them before: "You go. It's your table."

Jan whispered to Al: "Why does this always happen?" Al replied: "God is good. Isn't He?"

Dinner followed.

\--11--

SATURDAY NIGHT DINNER WAS SERVED by the cooks. Some would say that the dinner fell short of gourmet. Most would praise the dinner as delicious and enjoyed the wide choice of entrees.

Short of breakfast, but many more choices than lunch, which consisted of hamburgers and hot dogs. Dinner could best described as plain. The cooks chose entrees that were fast and simple to prepare.

Mostly a "Yes," or "No," menu; plus the entree. The cooks offered baked fish, sliced brisket, chicken breast and stew. Accompany each entree: Anna potatoes, peas with beans, and chocolate cake with whipped cream.

Drinks include: coffee, water with lemon, Sprite, and milk. Most of the folks sat in their table groups, but a few used this time to visit with their friends and avoid table talk for a while.

Mike and Rose weren't so lucky. Everyone at the Angel Table chose to sit next to or across from them.

"Fancy seeing you here," Mike said.
"Is this seat taken?"

Rod let everyone know: "I'm starved. I hope dinner is as good as breakfast. Has anybody seen the menu? I know they don't have menus, but what are we having? Does anyone know?"

Carolle spoke to Rod about why she picked this seat: "I have a question for Mike, and he sat over here."

"I should be flattered. A question more important than food," Mike said.

"I have a question too," shouted Anne.

Mike looked at Anne: "What's your question?"

"Good afternoon. They call me Jennie; I'll be serving you tonight, and she proceeded to take their order. What will you have? Let's start with the pretty lady. What will you have? We have chicken, sliced brisket, or stew, and fish."

Mike asked Anne: "You had a question?"

"Yes," Anne continued, "If God made Adam, a man, first, how did everything get turned around?

"In most marriages I know, the woman pays the bills, sets the appointments, and says what will be done next. How did that happen? Is there anything we women folk can do about it?"

Mike answered the question being careful not to reveal the remaining talks: "It's part of the fall described in Genesis. You know that we live in a fallen world. God's in charge of all things

. . . when we let Him.

"Otherwise, Satan rules. God said in Genesis, that a woman's
desire shall be over their husband, but he shall rule over you (Gen

3:16). The fall turned everything upside down. Al, the Assistant Head Rosita, will give you some pointers for turning a marriage upright. Somebody else had a question?"

"Yes, I did," said Maryann. "Me, too."

"I had a question."

Mike wanted to establish some order: "Rose and I will answer all your questions. Let us take them one at a time. Ladies first. Maryann, what is your question?"

"Mike, you know the Scriptures. What does the Bible say about homosexuals?"

Mike replied: "That's not going to be answered later. The first mention of men engaging men brings Sodom and Gomorrah, Genesis 13 or 19 . . . 19 . . . to mind.

"The mentioning of homosexual behavior doesn't become prominent again until Paul stressed this activity in his letter to the Romans. Evidence of the sin of homosexual behavior, between men and men, or women and women exists though out the Bible.

"Paul mentions practicing this sin as uncleanness in Romans, Ephesians and Galatians. He also mentions uncleanness in his letters to the Colossians and again in his second letter to the Corinthians.

"Paul, speaking for God, says some interesting stuff. First he makes it very clear no one practicing uncleanness will not enter Heaven. He puts homosexuality . . ."

"Coffee?"

"Me too."

`

"I ordered milk."

"Milk, water, and Sprite will come with the meal. Most of the folks wanted coffee. Coffee, anyone?" The cook poured coffee into the cups held aloft, indicating they wanted coffee.

`

Mike continued: "Paul puts the sin of homosexuality with the sins of fornication, adultery, and idolatry. Like the fellow with one arm, he can't rob banks or not pay his taxes, because he has only one arm. God is pretty clear how man should behave, whether he has one arm or two.

"We also know that fornication and adultery doesn't please God. Thus, neither does homosexuality."

"Yet, Jesus death on the cross gives everyone a fresh start . . . even homosexuals."

"Does God let people choose homosexuality?" asked Maryann. "Yes. Does God judge men and women with a homosexual

tendency from birth? Yes, man chooses to practice

homosexuality the same as a man chooses adultery or fornication. I hope that answers your question. Yes?"

Carolle asked Mike: "I was baptized as an infant. Do I need to be baptized again?"

"No, you don't need to be baptized twice. Baptism doesn't do anything for you., however, it's a great witness, and it allows you to proclaim your faith in Jesus. Mike summed it, by saying, "Baptism can be considered similar to circumcision."

"What? Baptism is the same as circumcision. I thought only boys
were circumcised. I'm a girl, there is a difference, you know," Carolle lost her smile, "I've just listened to a talk that said there's more than what we see between a boy and a girl."

Carolle got red in the face and showed her anger as she declared, "I want to be baptized by Pastor Ernie."

"I know you are a girl." Mike said with a sheepish grin.

Rod interjected that he was able to tell Carolle was a girl: "Me too, I know that too, and I like it"

Mike tried to unravel this mess: "My similarity of circumcision and Baptism had nothing to do with the actual procedure. Paul uses a similar comparison when writing to the Galatians, who thought that circumcised Christians ranked above everyone else. He told the Galatians, circumcision couldn't be a considered a badge of superiority.

"Circumcision can be considered a outward sign of Judaism. Baptism can become to Christians what circumcision became to the Jews. Paul stressed inward grace as the most important consideration.

"As I said before, Baptism gives you an opportunity to witness for Jesus. If you want to, by all means witness for Jesus through Baptism. Tell everyone about Jesus! You can be baptized as often as you like."

Carolle said to Rod: "Let's do it. Okay?"

"Sure, who am I to stand in your way to be baptized. We will check Pastor Ernie's schedule when we get home."

Anne looked puzzled, and asked: "Mike . . . does that apply to

Confirmation? In a previous church, where I lived in Oregon --
I'll bet you always thought we lived here? We have been here fifteen years . . . actually, fourteen years and five and half months.

"I can't remember not working for Our Savior. Did the church in Oregon, do right? Our Savior never confirms anybody. At least I don't know anyone. Do you?

"The church where we came from required that I be Confirmed before I was married. I did. I joined a class, said I would follow all the rules of the church, and asked Jesus to be my Savior again.

"The Bishop came. Hit me on the chin, and then I could be married. KB got a neat job offer the next year. I have been here ever since. Did I have to be Confirmed?"

"Yes, if you wanted to be married in that particular church. Certain rules govern each denomination. These rules may or may not come from the Bible. Nobody at Our Savior has been confirmed because Our Savior belongs to a denominational group that believes God wrote and speaks through the Bible.

"We still have rules, but we understand that all the rules of our group come from the Bible. The Bible doesn't mention Conformation." Mike ended his explanation by saying to Anne: "So Anne, I am glad you married KB."

Anne exclaimed: "Me too. I 'm glad I married KB. I love you, KB. He is so special . . . ." She kissed KB.

THE HEAD Rosita opened the Rollo room and invited everyone to enter. He stood waiting for the stragglers.

ROD WAITED with Carolle on the railing until the folks had
moved away from Mike and Rose. Then Rod took Mike aside: "By-the-way, this retreat turned out to be a good conference.

"I enjoyed your talk. I know I can be very flippant and not a person that focuses on my marriage. I just wanted you to know."

\--12--

THE HEAD ROSITA STOOD UP and said: "Before Jesus went

to the cross and arrested on that terrible night, He washed the feet of His disciples. Since His action conveyed a powerful

lesson of loving one another we thought . . . we would do for you what Jesus did for the disciples."

As he finished speaking the cooks appeared caring large white bowls and towels into the area of the seventeen arched chairs facing the the two rows of twenty-four chairs. The table leaders and their wives took seats in the arched chairs along with the Assistant Rosita.

One of the cooks stood in front of each table leader. The Head

Rosita knelt before his Assistant seated in the center chair.

Anne thought, so this is what He meant when He said to love one another. Kenny came to mind, he has been so good to me, and I haven't loved him in the same way. I love Kenny.

We'll see what happens next. If he would only ask Jesus into his heart, and to be the head of the house.

The Head Rosita waited until his Assistant. removed his shoes and socks, and then the Head Rosita carefully placed the right foot in the bowl and splashed water on the foot and washed the foot going between the toes and up and down the sole.
Then, after washing the right foot, he used the towel carefully drying the right foot. He did the the same with the left foot.

Rod said to himself softly: "Ugh."

Edward also said softy so no one could hear, "Wow, those feet haven't been washed in two days. Mine are smelly. No doubt his are too."

The Head Rosita finished his Assistant, but rather than stop, he moved to the right and, continued on to the table leader to his right. His Assistant left his chair, and kneeling began washing the feet of the table leader on his left. Each foot one more carefully and lovingly than before.

Anne said to herself, this is love. The Head Rosita and the Assistant Head Rosita washing all the feet of the table leaders. Their skipping over the wives? Certainly the wives have dirty feet too, Anne questioned.

Maryann also noted that the wives were not being washed. She mentioned to Anne quietly: "This is only a demonstration of what Jesus did to His disciples. They were all men."

They finished washing the feet of the table leaders, then the Head

Rosita invited the table leaders to wash their wives feet. Anne thought, ah-ha, who better to wash the wives feet..

One could feel the love that the table leaders had for their wives. Mike waited expectantly as Rose removed her sneakers and the little blue socks with the red tassels. Then he washed Rose's feet.

Anne thought, Mike is enjoying this. He is spending such a long time on Rose's right foot. He has to do the other one, yet. I
suppose he will take even longer on that one. I would enjoy it if Kenny washed my feet. I hope the plan includes Kenny washing my feet.

Mike continued to wash Rose's right foot. He knew once he dried the left foot, his foot washing of his wife's feet would end. Mike wasn't the only table leader taking his time washing his wife's feet. Each table leader seemed to enjoy touching and caressing his wife.

Anne watched intently, thinking, wishing.

Carolle smiled, and said to Rod quietly as she squeezed his hand: "Now, there is love. 'Love one another, as I have loved you.'

Jesus certainly loved me. Dying on the cross. A wonderful husband, two beautiful children. Mom and Dad's health."

The table leaders began moving.

The table leaders had finished washing their wives' feet, but the cooks brought new bowls and towels to the rear of the Rollo room . . . to the forty-eight chairs in rows of two, each twenty-four chairs.

Each table leader led his own group of six, he directed them to sit as couples, boy-girl-boy, on the chairs between two candles – two feet high and three inches in diameter.

Rod's feet were the first to be washed by Mike. Rose stood behind Mike caressing his shoulders. Reluctantly, almost hesitating Rod removed his sandals – no socks, and placed his right foot in the bowl. Rose continued to caress Mike's shoulders and neck.

Carolle sat in the seat next to Rod.

Edward said to himself: "Not me! Mike isn't going to wash my feet. But, then, he caught himself; didn't Peter say the same thing
to the Lord?

"And if he remembered what Pastor Ernie said, 'Then I'll have no part of you.' I'm sorry, Lord. If Mike wants to wash my feet, I'll let him." He squeezed Maryann' s hand.

Mike carefully dried Rod's right foot and then, he lovingly placed Rod's left foot in the bowl. Washed it. Dried it. Rose continued to stand behind and caress Mike's shoulders.

Rod commented: "That felt good. He was so gentle. Me and my big feet."

Mike skipped Carolle and placed KB's right foot lovingly in the bowl. Edward was sitting next to Anne, and she could see all the love Mike expressed to KB. Edward knew he was next. His face reflected the stress he felt.

Edward began removing his shoes and socks. He prayed to himself, Lord, you know I wouldn't allow a man to touch my feet. In fact, no man has ever touched me, except in a handshake or those churchy hugs that I endure on occasion.

Let me not say anything or jump out of my skin. I don't want to protest like Peter. Help me Lord, Jesus.

Mike finished washing KB's feet, and moved his knees in a sliding motion past Anne in front of Edward. Edward had prepared. His shoes and their socks placed side-by-side under the chair. He steeled himself.

Mike slowly reached out to Edward's right foot. All seemed okay to Edward as Mike placed his right foot in the bowl.

Edward prayed for the second time, thank you, Jesus.
Mike finished drying Edward's left foot. Stood upright and said, "The most important people here tonight are our wives. I know that each of you men would enjoy loving your wives this way.

"You may wash the feet of your wives, now. The cooks will help you. A fresh bowl of water and towel will be provided . . ."

KB's hand shot up like a rocket leaving the launch pad. Anne noticed Kenny's hand. The rest of the husbands followed KB, except Rod, who reluctantly said so no one could hear: "I better raise my hand also." He did.

All the men's hands went up following KB. All twenty-four of the men wanted to to love their wives raised their hands. Some were so eager that when the table leaders said, 'Now, you may . . .' it was like at their wedding, when their vows had been said, and the rings exchanged, and the officiant said it was okay to kiss the bride. They moved right in. The wives prepared to be loved as never before. Many removed their shoes and socks.

Some of the men demonstrated more love than others. A few may have felt freer than others with this procedure. Others jumped right in knowing their wives would not react to the cool water or this new experience.

Some were more hesitant. All finally finished washing their wives' feet. The wives finished pulling on their socks and tying their shoes.

Carolle told Rod: "That was special: you washing my feet. Like when I asked Jesus into my heart. I remember one Sunday we had gone to church, and Pastor Ernie's sermon about the blind man spoke to my heart. His words hung around my neck like a necklace . . . or maybe a millstone.

"I closed the door to the spare bedroom and knelt in the middle of
the floor. Pastor Ernie said I could ask Jesus into my heart, and take over my life. 'Easy,' he said. 'Come to Jesus as a sinner, and let Him know that He suffered and died for you personally, forgiving you, and you will be right with God.'

"I had sinned . . . boy, had I . . . I followed Pastor Ernie's directions, and asked Jesus to forgive me, and come into my heart, and run my life. Nothing happened, but I felt forgiven and clean all over. It was so special, just like now. I feel wonderful."

All sat down as directed by the Head Rosita, and he read from the Gospel of John exactly what Jesus did for the disciples on that special night.

The Head Rosita then said: "Would you follow me." Each couple wondered what would follow next.

IT HAD started to rain again. Big drops fell; they would get wet going outdoors. The cooks and table leaders directed all the couples to run through the rain, and assemble in the Dining Room.

THE DINING ROOM had been prepared. Only a few tables remained. All the chairs and the rest of the tables had been stacked against the long back wall opposite the entrance.

Each table in the main area was lit by two candles held in a red spheres and contained plastic glasses and a bottle of red liquid in clear glass bottles.

The Dining Room glowed with the burning candles. The Head Rosita continued: "We invite you to an Agape Feast, where you will find wine and glasses to sip the wine and become closer even to your spouse.
"You can also wander around and hug the cooks and all the folks from our church. Not in the same way as your spouse, of course. The early Christians would share wine as a symbol of God's love and their love for each other by interlacing arms and sipping a little wine together."

He demonstrated by interlacing arms with the Head Cook, sipping some wine, and hugging him. "We have grape juice for those

who want to abstain from alcohol."

Edward joined Maryann, they kissed, hugged, then, with some practice, interlaced arms, sipped together, and kissed again. Other people at the tables were kissing, hugging and sipping.

Mike and Rose, KB and Anne and Rod and Carolle were participating in all the love permeating the room. Rod continued kissing Carolle – in such a sensual way, that one of the cooks firmly and nicely said, "Whoa, there fella. This is a Agape Feast, not a make-out session."

"Sorry," Rod apologized.

Anne thought, Kenny must love me. He was so gentle with my feet. I wish we didn't have to go to separate beds tonight.

Maryann said to Edward: "Oh boy, that felt so good. Washing my feet couldn't have been easy. You're not used to such things, and I haven't showered in two days.

"If only Sarah, your sister, could see you. She would have a good laugh at you washing my feet. Washing your spouse's feet doesn't go with 'Keeping a stiff upper lip . . . hey, governor.'"

Anne joined Kenny. She wrapped her arms around him and thought, I'll miss you tonight, but we can't start a family . . . so, I guess I won't really. Anne said to KB, "Go, meet some people
from church."

"I THOUGHT I knew you," KB said, and then he continued, "Jim

. . . Jim, I would have known you anywhere. Are you having a good time?"

"I have never been closer to Ellen. The church planned a great retreat."

"I know what you mean. I've never been closer to my wife also. The table talk was okay, but the foot washing did me in," KB said.

"I know, me too."

They interlaced arms and drank to the Lord. Then, they hugged and went on to find somebody they thought they knew. Many new friendships were formed that night. Love dominated.

KB looked for the cook who was so nice at breakfast. Instead, he ran into someone another cook. Thinking he had found the correct cook, KB started the conversation: "Thank you. You were so nice at breakfast. I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank you. I must have done something right. You are the eighth person tonight who thanked me for breakfast or lunch."

"What's you name?" "Susanne, what's yours?" "KB"

"Shall we?" They interlaced arms and sipped the wine. Susanne pulled away, and they didn't hug. KB proceeded to know more:
"What service do you go to?" "Nine."

"Me too."

MARYANN TALKED to Anne: "I'm so sorry about Friday night. I know they said, 'No talking,' but at least I should have said something. Maybe you didn't hear the Head Rosita. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"It was nothing. You're forgiven. I think that's what we are to say. I heard him alright, but really we are girls. To shut us up, borders on criminal."

EDWARD FOUND Rod: "You know, you're okay in my book. At first I got turned off by your shaved head, but I wear a wig. It's the same thing. Let's drink."

"Okay"

They interlaced arms and drank. Rod tried to hug Edward. Edward said, "If anyone asks, let's say we did."

"Okay," Rod agreed.

After hugging the whole church, the wine was taking it's toll on some of the folks. Everyone was getting a little tipsy. Most felt prime, but a few had crossed the line, and a cook would escort them to the outside deck.

Where they had an opportunity to breath in some fresh air and rain, then they could return to the Dining Room and find their wives, or sleep it off, walking in the rain back to the dorm.

Edward said to Maryann hesitatingly: "I love you so." Edward continued "I thought about inviting you into the woods, but its raining, and I'm so tired, I think I'll just go to the dorm."

"OK, I understand. We'll see each other in the morning. I'm a little tired too. Lets go back to the dorms."

"I don't know if I'll have the energy to wait in line for the basin. I may just brush my teeth in the morning." said a weary Edward. They kissed, and said, "Good night." Then, they walked back to the dorms around the magnolia trees.

CAROLLE WALKED HAND in hand with Rod into the woods. She spoke lovingly to Rod: "You washed my feet, and I tingled all over. I love you." And she prayed to herself, thank you, Jesus.

She said to Rod: "You know they may close the dorms, and it's raining; we may have to stay out all night." The warm evening rain, and the aroma of the magnolias enveloped them.

ANNE LINGERED with KB where the paths split. She said, "I'll best be going. Love you."

"Me too. I'll see you in the morning," Kenny said reluctantly.

\--13 --

ANNE LEFT KENNY, AND TURNED to jog through the rain to the women's dorm. She entered, and saw April sitting on her bed. She remembered April, and she confirmed her name from the round, plywood circle above her bed.

She always looked the same, wearing blue jeans and yellow and red striped top. April, a little younger than Maryann, had a few gray hairs peeking through her blond head.

Anne went right over to her and asked, it sounded like more of a bellyache: "Do I have to submit to KB? I love him and all that, but do I have to submit to him?"

A little startled by the question and demanding that she answer it. April said something she thought would slow Anne down and at the same time cause her repeat her question. "Huh?" April said.

"Am I suppose to submit to KB?" Anne said it so loudly that

other ladies heard the question and came to April's bed wanting to hear her answer.

"That's what I want to know." Anne repeated.

One of the ladies running to April's bed, knew Anne: "Oh, I know you, you're a table mate of mine. We met last night." said Maryann.

"What do you think of what Mike said?" Anne wanted to know. "You're from Oregon, " Maryann continued, "I had some friends

in Oregon. Beth Hansen, perhaps you know her.

"We were such gadabouts. I remember the time we went to a football game dressed alike. The guys couldn't believe it. We met at Dickey's, the dress shop. Dickey's . . . between the ice cream parlor and the dime store.

"Both of us liked the same outfit, but we could wear a different belt and scarf to mix it up and not look exactly alike. Instead, since we were going to the game together, we bought the same
outfits and accessories, and didn't change anything. The guys looked twice. Our double date was a hoot."

"I didn't know Beth, but I also had a gadabout named Louise

Sweat. Did you ever meet her?"

"No, I didn't meet her," Maryann said.

"Were you a virgin in High School? I wasn't." revealed Anne, "I mean . . . was Edward the first?" Maryann recoiled. Then, answered.

"Let me just say Edward wasn't the first boy I knew. There were many others before Edward.

"You remember Louise? Louise and I were gadabouts, we didn't dress alike, but she could drink a gallon of beer without batting an eye. She had to go to the little girls room all the time, because

she drank so much beer.

"She became tipsy one night . . . and a boy had to take her home. I don't know what happened, but she never got there. She wasn't pregnant or anything. Well . . . I did ask her, but she said I wasn't to tell. So, I won't," Maryann said.

"I know what you mean. I could tell stories about Beth that would make your hair stand on end, but I won't," Maryann said with a wink: "That was a long time ago . . . fifteen years?"

"More like twenty."

"So . . . ? I 'm ready to have my hair stand on end." Anne forgot about her question, but not KB.

"Let's get together and swap stories."

"Okay," Anne agreed with Maryann that swapping stories about their time as gadabouts would be fun.

April became fascinated with what she overheard. She asked

Maryann: "So, you weren't a virgin when you got married?" No reply. Maryann didn't want to open this long, gone subject.

Then April answered Anne's question, but Anne had left: "Yes, we have to submit to our husbands. That's what the Bible says."

"Yeah," all those gathered agreed, hesitatingly, "let's look in the

Bible. Who has one?"

"I do . . . I'll get it." Jodie offered with a shrug of her shoulders. Jodie left to get her Bible. She stood tall and lean, about thirty with a small scar on her left arm. The rest were interested in April's friend, Jodie. They asked April questions while Jodie went to get her Bible.

How did they know each other? Were they good friends? Jodie sported short red hair, younger than April. Jodie stood about the same height as April: just under six feet Her thin body weighed just under a hundred pounds. They had gone to the same school.

Jodie returned as quickly as she had left. "Here it is. I got it at the thrift store. I didn't think they would have Bibles. They have everything. I was so surprised."

April added: "I know . . . I got a couple of pairs of shorts for the kids. Only a few dollars compared to the department store. They will out grow them by next year. Besides, they're not for good times, nobody will notice.
"There is a thrift store next to where we buy gas. I always look in there before going to the expensive dress shop. Once I found a cute nightie, and told my husband it cost oodles of money, but he was worth it.

"I only wear it when we are going to make love, and after he sees me in the black nightie, he knows this is the night, he takes it off faster than it takes me to put it on, and it spends the rest of the night hanging over the chair. Not a bad investment.

"I wanted to wear it awhile. It's a bit risque. You know, parade around . . . show it off. He couldn't get it off me fast enough. I use to think he was too tired. He would say that, 'He had a bad day'.

"Then, I thought about it a little. He did all the work; I just lay there. He had plenty of energy for a bad day, and now I found that when he has had a bad day, that's the best time we have."

"You enjoy it?" Jodie asked.

"It takes getting use to, but if I just lie there and don't think too much about it. I think I will go to the thrift store after this weekend.

"Maybe I'll get a red nightie. I know that he left early Friday, and he always brings home work on the weekend, so by the time Monday arrives, he will have had a bad day."

"Not if I find it first! I guess it doesn't have to fit. A little small would be okay," said a short, plump girl.

"Did you get the cover at the thrift store? It looks expensive. I like it with the little sheep running everywhere," someone inquired of Jodie.
"We are all sheep. Aren't we? We just go here and there. We do what some salesman tells us. At least, I do," Jodie said.

"We are all sheep as far as God's concerned," April stated. "He's probably looking at us now. I guess that's alright. He knows about us and what we are thinking. It's kind of nice.

"Just us girls, without the men listening. God knows, but He won't tell anybody. Jesus paid the price. All our sins have been forgiven. Even those we commit tonight, or when we return home."

"I've never thought about that before. I didn't think about it that way. I just liked it. It was different, a little girlish. Now, after hearing April, I'll never look at those sheep again without remembering this night," Jodie said.

"Where did you find it?"

"I got it at the Christian bookstore next to the discount grocery store, I sometimes stop in to see if they have any bargains. You know, the one off Main Street. I turn left at the Arco gas station."

"Oh . . . yes . . . I know."

"I found a creche next door in the Catholic shop, but it was too expensive," April added.

"Are suppose to celebrate Christmas? How did Christmas get started anyway?" asked Diane, who had just sat on April's joining the group.

"Just like Mother's Day, a marketing ploy to separate us from our money."

"Don't tell me. We spent a thousand dollars on toys alone."

"There isn't much we can do. We all like to receive gifts." "Maryann, what do you do?" April. asked.

"She's not here. She's gone to talk with Anne and gossip. Boy, would I like to be there learning what Beth and Louise did."

"Beth and Louise? I would want to know what Anne did with

Louise. They were gadabouts, you know."

"Maryann has children and grandchildren to buy for at Christmas. How does she do it?"

"Has Pastor Ernie ever spoken on the origin of Christmas?" "No, not that I can remember. You girls remember anything?" "No, I wish he would. I would like to know. Who invented Santa

Clause?" Jodie asked.

"You know I was eight before I learned the truth about Santa

Clause"

"Eight? I was six. My Dad slipped about Santa Clause bringing the tree. I always thought Santa brought the tree. Now, thinking about it, I was pretty foolish thinking Santa could put all those trees on his sled.

"I guess Santa got mixed up with God. He could do all things. "I remember this one doll. I just had to have it. She had blonde

hair about . . . oh, eighteen inches high, and she was wearing a lace dress. I just had to have it.
"I remember sitting in Santa's lap at the department store. I told him, and I knew it was all set. Santa could do anything, April explained"

"Did you get the doll?" one of the girls asked.

"Of course. The tag said Santa, but I later learned my Mom bought it the next day."

"Aren't Moms wonderful?"

"Even now, my Mom is always there. It doesn't matter if I need a recipe, or a babysitter. She's always there. I don't know what I'll do if she dies. Although her mother died at ninety-seven; so, I have a few years left."

"How old is she?"

"Fifty-eight . . . I have a good twenty or more years."

"You know, we are all Moms, now. Aren't we?" Jodie said, looking around.

"I hear you. Baseball, basketball, ballet. I'm not sure I can always be there, but I try. Things are different now. Traffic has become denser."

"I know . . . it took me two hours in stop and go traffic to get to my gin rummy class. I went once with Teresa, and I've been going there ever since. The girls are so nice. There is this one . . . Kathleen is her name."

"I didn't have a good feeling about ballet lessons, the cost is higher than even karate. I never took ballet when I was a girl. Ballet wasn't even considered. My mother would roll over in her grave if she knew I was taking her granddaughter to ballet
lessons."

Jodie had been standing in the crowd with her Bible with the sheep on the cover. She inquired . . . almost shouted it out: "Does anyone want to look in my Bible?" Almost like she had thrown a switch, the girls stopped talking.

There was a long pause. Anne, who had quietly returned with

Maryann, broke the silence.

"I wanted to know where it says that wives have to submit to their husbands. I just don't know anybody that does. They may say they do, but they don't. Manipulate is more like it."

Anne wanted her marriage woes to be all Kenny's fault, but she knew it probably wasn't. She grabbed Jodie's Bible.

"Let's see what God says . . . where do I find it?" Anne asked. "Look in Ephesians. I think Paul said it, not God."

"God is the author of the Bible. Isn't He?" Anne asked with some impertinence.

"Paul wrote the letter after Jesus rose from the grave. Look in the back of the book," Diane suggested.

Anne surprised herself: "I found it. A title heads each section of verses. Anne found "Married Life," and began to read:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the bod (Eph 5:22)
Anne said: "That's it. The first verse, 'Wives submit to your own husbands . . .' how could Paul say that?"

Some of the girls stood listening; they stated: "God said that through Paul."

Jodie indicated a truth: "God through Paul defined an order for marriage. Just like that canoe that Rose talked about. With two paddling their own way, nothing happens. Somebody has to steer."

"I'll just have to back off," they all said, except Anne.

Anne thought something else, backing off will challenge me. "The speaker said something about Corinthians. Did anybody hear?" Anne wanted to be sure she heard correctly, God had said the wife submits to the husband.

Jodie took back her Bible. Jodie turned toward Corinthians: "First or Second?"

"First. Chapter seven . . . I think," Anne said.

Jodie read the seventh chapter, the first five verses:

"Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality,

let each an have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Cor 7:1-5)

"The husband owns the wife's body? That agrees with a wife must submit to her husband. I'm glad they didn't get to that." Anne voiced her view, and walked slowly to her bed saying: "Let's all go to bed. I'm getting sleepy."

Anne lay on her bed smiling, thinking about Kenny, and how nice it felt when he washed her feet.

SIMULTANEOUSLY THE men were reading the same verses. Edward led, KB listened. Jim and Leo, the new friends of Edward helped where they could. Leo had been to Bible College for one year.

"Wow, Paul really puts the emphasis on the husband. The wife has to submit, but the husband has to love, give himself, sanctify and cleanse as the Lord did for us.

"Those directions contain more than two rules: wives submit, husbands love. I suppose you could condense this passage into two rules."

Edward though slowly as he considered his relationship with

Maryann.

Let me read that. Is that what Paul says? Jim said. "My wife should read this."

"Maybe not. If you show her the submission rule, she will show you the husband's role," Leo offered with a smile and a wink.
Edward continued: "I'm afraid I'm as guilty as Mike in thinking about love the world's way. Sometimes I do Godly things, but not always. No way.

Maybe if I concentrated on being patient and kind, and not puffed up or selfish, she would would follow me ."

Jim thought about his wife, and said to the group:" There is no if

in this verse.

Edward replied: "Good, but not relevant, I have to love her more. It's up to both of us to go God's way. We each must decide."

Many men had come into the dorm. Some lines were forming at the bathroom, the door remained open, and some were asking Edward and the others to turn off the lights. Jim and Leo went back to their bunks. Edward went to sleep.

Sunday was another day – the last day

\--14 --

ANNE FELT RESTLESS, AND COULDN'T sleep. She went outside into the darkness. The rain had stopped.

Anne thought about Kenny, she wanted to share this rain-cleaned, starry night with him. The stars shone against the blackness of the sky like diamonds on black velvet.

She wanted to be close to him. She knew that she said good night to him four hours ago, but now she ached for him to wrap his arms around her, and tell her that he had accepted Jesus.

They would rejoice, kiss, and make out like rabbits. The night glistened. He has a chance tomorrow, maybe.
The thought of her submitting to Kenny bothered her.

Asking Jesus into his heart would bring so much to their marriage. There could be so much more, if he would do this one thing.

She acknowledged that God would have to call him, and she hoped God would make his move soon. This weekend would be perfect, the house would be controlled by Jesus, not Kenny or Anne.

She may be able to submit to him when he asked Jesus into his heart. He does okay, but I don't let him stray too far from what I know. He's in charge of most things, but I keep him on the straight and narrow. I know that I must submit to him: the Bible says so.

DIANE CAME out to find Anne. Marge had been Anne's best friend, and so, Anne had to know what Marge was encountering. "Anne . . . Anne," Diane called with desperation in her voice."

ANNE THOUGHT about Kenny, and her role, their marriage.

"Anne . . . Anne," Diane called again. Then Diane saw Anne looking up, and she ran over to where Anne stood, looking up into the vast sky thinking about Kenny. After Diane caught up to her, she said: "Anne, Marge has a case of diarrhea that she can't stop.

"She swallowed several pills, but to no avail. She doesn't know what she's going to do." Diane let it all out in one fell swoop, catching Anne off guard.

"Hi Diane," Anne said, "You said Marge had diarrhea?"
"Yes, your best friend has a bad bout of diarrhea, and she doesn't know what she will do."

"Let's go see her," Anne offered, getting some control of the situation. Anne met Marge at Our Savior's office. One day Anne and Marge had both volunteered at the same time and in that moment, they hit it off.

"Now she had diarrhea. A bad case. Pills didn't stop it.

As they entered the dark dorm, Anne asked anyone walking by or wandering, "Where is she?"

"I don't know. She must be in the bathroom." They looked in the bathroom.

"Not here," They concluded.

"Maybe she's on her bed?" Diane ventured. "Are you looking for Marge?" inquired Jodie. "Yes. Do know where she is?"

"She kept going to the bathroom repeatedly. I don't see her now. Maybe she went to her bed?"

"Where is her bed?" Anne asked Jodie, as she fought the darkness of the dorm.

"I don't know, but it must be somewhere . . . over there." Marge lay on her bed. Six girls in night clothes gathered around offering advice. Anne looked at her best friend. Marge didn't look like the gay devil-may-care person Anne had come to know.
She worked her way past the other girls and spoke directly to

Marge: "Where does it hurt? What can I do?"

Marge acknowledges Anne: "Hi, Anne. I feel so terrible. I think I will have to call my sponsor for a ride home. Nothing works. I've tried these pills.

"They are suppose to stop my going to the bathroom all the time. You know . . . there are for diarrhea, but they don't seemed to work."

Anne felt badly for Marge: "You feel yucky. I will go with you. I'll drive you home."

"We don't have a car up here," Marge said weakly. "Oh, I forgot."

"Well somebody has a car. Not every couple had a sponsor drive them."

Anne had it all under control: "I'll find someone with a car, and then I will drive you home."

One of the girls who gathered on Marge's bed asked: "What about Marge's husband, Bill? KB as well . . . I'm not too sure that they would want you to drive Marge home. Maybe Marge and her husband can borrow a car, and then they can go home?"

Anne considered this suggestion: "Good idea. I'll find a car for them."

Anne thought, I'm glad she spoke up. That would be a terrible blow to Kenny . . . and our marriage. I wouldn't be here, and Kenny won't be able to ask Jesus into his heart, and our marriage wouldn't be any better than it is now.
SHE REMEMBERED the day she shared her marriage woes with Marge. She and Marge sat out at the pool, outside her house in the wicker chairs with the flowered print.

Anne had gone there wanting to talk, not necessarily about her and Kenny, but Marge had always been her best friend, and it all came out.

"KB left. It wasn't a big thing. He always leaves each Saturday," Anne stated.

"There . . . there," Marge comforted, "he went to be with his friends. Guys do that, don't they?"

"Yes, but I wanted to talk to him. I found this skirt at Marshals for only $74. That's nothing compare the department store price of

$185. There are other things too."

"You have a real problem, don't you?" Marge comforted.

"Well, it could all be fixed if he would ask Jesus into his heart." "You know, there is a Couples Retreat coming up. Maybe that's

what he needs? You and KB should go."

"He's so busy with work. I don't think he will have the time." "Don't give up. Something will happen. God wants to be a part of

Kenny's life. Doesn't He?" Marge asked.

"Yes, I guess so. If He wants to be a part of us, why doesn't He just do something? He could, you know. It would eliminate these Saturdays, when KB wanders off to be with his friends.

"KB would help me more. Maybe he would stay around, and we could start our family.
"I'm not getting any younger you know, but he keeps busy at work. He told me one day that we could start a family after he got these stores going."

Marge added: "He's always working on those stores. Bill looks at him with such awe. Responsible for three department stores. So young."

"Oh, KB is doing well in his business. I just wish he would be more talkative and do things around the house, like I do."

They went on like this for four more hours. Anne remembered how Marge listened to her tale of woe.

The next day they met at church and had quite a time pretending that they were angels, always working, and their husbands could hang themselves, if they so choose.

ANNE PROMISED Marge that she would find a way home. The first person she ran into, Mike walking on the steps, as she ran to the Dining Room, she explained: "Marge has been fighting

about of diarrhea, and she and her husband, Bill, need a car." "I'll see what I can do."

Anne saw Jack next: "Marge has diarrhea and needs a car to go home."

Jack's assurance was the same as Mike's: "I'll see what I can do." Anne found Al in the Dining Room, the Assistant Head Rosita,

whom she met when Mike gave his rollo. He must have a car and able to get a ride with somebody. Anne explained her dilemma again. Al would do something.
AL SPOKE to the Head Rosita, who slept in the bunkhouse next to the men's dorm, and they decided that Travis's car would be best. Travis lived near Al, and although Travis would wind up working later than usual, Al could take him home, and Al could use the help.

They considered where they might find Travis, and tell him the good news, that he would be traveling home with Al.

Then it struck the Head Rosita: "What about Shirley? We have to tell her too. She won't want to stay and help. Would she?"

"Let's ask her," Al offered.

Now they had to find both Travis and Shirley.

TRAVIS HAD wandered outside the bunkhouse, walked to the concrete, and stood on the first step. "Travis?" Anne called out, surprised to find someone in the darkness outside. Maybe he can help, Anne thought to herself. She approached Travis.

"I'll see what I can do," Travis said, after Anne explained that

Marge had diarrhea and needed to go home.

Anne felt she had enough of the rositas working on getting Marge home. Kenny flashed in her mind . . . I almost left him. Poor Kenny, he would be lost without me. Best tell Marge what she

had accomplished, and that soon there would be a car for her and

Bill.

SHE ENTERED the Women's dorm. She found Marge in the bathroom, and after some time told her that a car would be on the way.
"What about Bill?" Marge asked, sitting on the throne, "Nobody told him I'm going home. Actually, he needs to go home with me. Someone needs to tell him."

Anne said, "I will find Bill and tell him." Anne left Marge still sitting there, to go and find Bill.

Some of the women didn't know of Marge's troubles. They were at the afterglow or playing cards.

Those who knew Marge were greatly relived that Marge and Bill had the use of Travis's car, and wished her well as they drove off. They were all tired, and went back to sleep.

Anne wondered about Sunday. What will they do?

\--15--

ON SUNDAY, ANNE NORMALLY WENT TO church. I didn't see anyone that looked like clergy. If they were there, I never saw them.

The rain had stopped sometime during the night. The blue sky shone like Christ had just ascended. Anne remembered that He resembled the Lily of the Valley. The sun felt warm as she walked up the steps to the Dinning Room.

She knew something would happen today. Maybe, she would tell Kenny what she had been thinking. Anne kissed Kenny outside the Rollo Room after a quick breakfast of cereal, coffee and juice.

They went into the Rollo Room, and she reached over squeezed

Kenny's hand. Anne thought about Kenny and her backing off.

* * *
Anne remembered Kenny holding her feet so gently and washing her feet. She remembered the scriptures, the girls found last night, and she prayed about pleasing God.

SOME SURPRISE filled the Rollo Room when Pastor Ernie came through the door, and made his way into the room heading toward the podium. He stood 5-11", a plump fellow, some gray hairs coloring his receding blonde hair.

Pastor Ernie had a hard time getting to the podium. Everybody wanted to shake his hand, or get a hug. He didn't hurry. Pastor Ernie gave everyone what they wanted, or needed. A hug for Jodie, hand shake for Robert, another hand shake for Noel.

Georgia had a special problem. Pastor Ernie knowing that he didn't have time right now: "Can I get with you on Tuesday at

10:00 AM?"

"That would be fine. It can wait till I see you. Tuesday morning at ten," Georgia agreed.

Pastor Ernie started.

"Thank you for your warm welcome. It is so good to see so many of you. This weekend is special to me, because you have set

aside this time to examine your marriages. And . . . to examine yourselves. Time well spent – I would say.

Anne had her Sunday church service, complete with Pastor Ernie. Maybe this was the time Kenny would ask Jesus into his heart.

Pastor Ernie began to speak: "To see if His followers were really disciples, and that's a good thing. Jesus asked a man, not in so many words, what he would do if God blessed him. It was really a parable for the disciples. It gave them a way to measure
themselves.

"If you have Bibles, turn with me to Matthew 7:24, Pastor Ernie read:

"'I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

"'But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand, and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was it's fall' (Matt 7:24).

"Jesus started his story about a wise man and a foolish man with the opening: 'Judge not, that you be may not be judged.' Good advice, but more than that.

"Jesus had been talking to His disciples in Galilee on the side of a hill looking over the Sea of Galilee. A beautiful place, we always go there on our trips to the Holy Land, and so appropriate for getting across His message about discipleship. He was laying the groundwork for those who would be My disciples.

This parable gives us a children's story, maybe you know it, about three little pigs building a house.

"The first pig built his house of straw. And the wolf, he's in the story too, came along and he knocked at the door. The little pig didn't know what to do, but he was adamant telling the wolf, 'No, no, by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin. I'll not let you in.' And the story goes on.

"The wolf declared, 'Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in. And he huffed and puffed. and he blew the house in.
"The second pig wanting to be wiser, built his house of sticks, rather than of straw. And the wolf came to the pig's house. The pig was stubborn, and wouldn't let the wolf into his house of

sticks. He said also, 'No, no, by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin, I won't let you in.'

"Then, said the wolf, 'Then I'll huff and puff and blow your house in.' And the wolf huffed and puffed, and blew the house in.

"The third pig didn't want to be foolish, so, he built his house of bricks. Well, you probably know what happened. The wolf came by, and after the little pig said, 'No, no, by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin. I'll not let you in.'

"So . . . the wolf resorted to: 'I'll huff and puff and blow your house in.' So, he huffed and puffed, and he puffed and he huffed, but the wolf could not blow the house in.

"Jesus says you will be wise to build your house on the rock. Once you have asked Jesus to take over your life, He gives you the where-with-all to handle many things that can happen in a marriage."

Anne said a prayer to Jesus. She thought, maybe now is the time. Pastor Ernie continued: "Many things will happen in a marriage.

Some of you may be experiencing, or may have – if you haven't;

you will. Satan is alive and well.

"God hasn't finished with you. God will test you, and Satan will tempt you. But don't get these two confused.

"James said, 'God will tempt no one.' God wants you to become like His Son, Jesus. It says in Philippians'. . . being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ' (Phil 1:6). That is a
powerful verse for any marriage.

"You may be experiencing a bad time at work, difficulty getting ahead, the loss of your job, expenses with your marriage, sickness, change in relationship. Perhaps a change in location, vacations, finances, world situation . . . I'm convinced that Jesus will come back soon, and the world will end. We don't know exactly when . . . maybe soon.

"One thing is certain . . . we are all going to die.

"Lets talk about that. Death puts a great stress on a marriage. This is a marriage retreat, we should be straight forward in discussing those things that you know will happen.

"Not just the one you married, or your child, an illness or disease, a deadly car accident can bring death into a marriage. Someone in your family, if all goes normal, our fathers and mothers, who maybe advancing in years, uncles, aunts, even cousins will die.

"When this death occurs, many questions face us. Should we go there? Should we spend the money? Should we send flowers, pay some of the costs?

"How should I react? What is my spouse feeling? Should the kids know? What should they know? Should we tell the kids? Maybe you're too young to have ever faced death. You will face death – sooner, or later.

"I remember I was in the Denver Airport and it occurred to me that everyone I saw, whether it was the young mother running, with luggage behind her, a baby in a carriage in front of her, or the athlete turned businessman looking dapper and strong, or the black woman and her two children sitting across from me, would die.

"The Bible says: 'It is appointed for men (women and children, included) to die once, but after this the judgment . . .' All of them will die. You will face death in your marriage. This weekend prepares you.

"Loss of a job almost puts as much stress on a marriage as a death. I remember losing a job once. The most telling indicator . . . the loss of the company car.

"The company had let me drive home, and in a few days they just took it out of the driveway. I remember my wife told me, 'Well, we just became a one car family, and I suppose you will need it to go to interviews.

"How will I drive the kids to piano and ballet lessons?' We became much closer during those days . . . well, some time passed, before we became closer. In time, I was blessed with another job at more money if you can believe it. God is good.

"We never forgot that time in our lives, and we still drive one car. It made the transition to the pastoral ministry much easier.

"The same questions arise. The same as death. What do we tell our children? How is my spouse feeling?

"Death in a family and loss of a job put a tremendous stress on a marriage. The time of a death can happen at any time. It becomes uncontrollable. The loss of a job may be controllable or uncontrollable.

"I almost left this out, my notes and all. Menopause . . . menopause can also have an disastrous affect on your marriage. "Your marriage might be affected by this change in a woman's life sooner than the death of a loved one.
"Both will occur, I guarantee it. We know that death will occur.

"We don't think about menopause, or that it will have a significant affect on our relationship with our husband, because menopause may be considered a woman's thing. Wives don't think of the man to whom they wed. Somehow it will affect him.

"Maybe sooner than you think. Some women become very upset by menopause, others don't. Either way, it will last a few years or maybe, a lifetime, depending how the woman looks at it, and

this will effect a marriage.

"My wife, Terri, can tell you more, but I will tell you do not keep the start of menopause a secret from your husband. It will effect your marriage, and the two of you will need to deal with it and discuss it together.

"Illness, which we may can see coming, changes a marriage A time of fun, kids gone, college paid off, etc. becomes a time of trouble for both of you, if one of you or a relative becomes ill.

"Travel may be out, due to trouble with knees, sex may be effected, the retirement fund may not cover all the expenses, time is spent in Doctor's offices or plans may have to be adjusted to span operations or the possibilities of an operation.

"Jesus said a wise man builds his house on a rock. He who does

His will, is wise.

"Why does He say this? He knows the truth. He said the truth shall set you free. Jesus also told Martha, 'I'm the way, the truth, and the life.'

"He knows that the trouble will come like a heavy, strong wind. He also knows that wise men will withstand the wind, no matter when it occurs or how strong it blows.

"So, let me hurry this up. I know you are eager to return to discussing marriage. All of those who need to ask Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, and want to be wise; come forward.

Some movement.

Pastor Ernie went on: "Why do I call you publicly? Jesus called all those that follow Him publicly. Look at it as a test. If you

want Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, would you not follow Him publicly.

Some more movement. Both males and females were stirring. KB

stirs. He stands. He hesitates . . . deciding.

Anne brightened. She prayed to Jesus. She knew Jesus can make a difference. A Christian man. Christ in her home. Her talking

to Brutus, and he and Sally to sponsor them.

Anne said one more prayer, Lord Jesus in Your Word You say that the whole family would be saved. We are a family. I can't do anything; only Your Holy Spirit can change his heart."

Kenny stepped out. He went forward.

Anne mumbled: "Thank you, Jesus." She repeated her prayer, this time to herself, thank you, Jesus.

Pastor Ernie was talking: "Let me share a word or two with you." All that came forward, listened closely to Pastor Ernie.

"This is the biggest decision you will ever make. Let me be the first to tell you. Your sins have been forgiven . . . all of them . . . past, present and future. This is the Good News of the Gospel.

"Now, you're right with God, and when you die, we all will
eventually, you will go to heaven. All which is good.

"Jesus also puts His Holy Spirit in you. A unique power you have never had before. A power to make wise decisions, the power over sin, the power to understand the Bible, called The Manufacturer's Handbook, and the power to follow Jesus, even to death.

"This is all explained in the materials you can take home. Thank you for coming forward. May God bless you that you may accept and put into practice all the table leaders have and will say. Amen."

KB joined Anne halfway to the Angel Table. Happiness exploded out her. Him too. He exploded in happiness. They held hands. They hugged. Kenny whispered: "I have so much to tell you."

"I know."

"We can have kids!" Kenny whispered. "Kids!" Anne prayed, thank you, Jesus. "What is he saying?" Kenny asked.

KB stood still, and leading Anne: "We will wait here. He might say something important."

"Thank you, Jesus," Anne said again.

THEN, KB led Anne back to the Angel table. Everyone was clapping, KB wasn't the only one that went forward. There were many. But KB was one, and his table, the Angels, knew and welcomed him and Anne.
KB said: "What else could I do? The Holy Spirit was tugging. Anne was probably praying. She prays all the time."

Carolle exclaimed: "Well, you were the only one from this table. I am excited for you. I started clapping, and haven't stopped. I always thought you were a Christian."

KB explained, "I did too, but after listening to all the talks and Pastor Ernie. I didn't want to be foolish; I wanted to be wise. I had never asked Jesus into my heart. I don't know what to say. It makes a difference. I don't know how, but it does."

THE HEAD Rosita explained the morning: "This weekend will close this afternoon. We will have to return to work tomorrow.

"The sponsors will arrive shortly and drive you home. Now, there will be this much time, he separated his hands about thirty inches, for you to pack and get ready for lunch.

"After which we will have another two rollos. The sponsors will be here at the end of the second rollo.

"Wasn't Pastor Ernie wonderful? Coming all the way out here just to speak to us." Pastor Ernie accepted the warmth of everyone before leaving.

KB and Anne wanted to get together. Anne wanted to know more . . . especially about having children. She couldn't wait for the Head Rosita to finish, and talk to Kenny. The Head Rosita finished, and Pastor Ernie left. Anne thought, finally.

Kenny spoke first: "I'm so happy! I have Jesus in my heart . . . my sins are forgiven . . . I have a home in heaven."

Anne blurted out: "When can we have kids?" She forgot all about
her telling him about his new role, his being in charge and the head of the family.

"Right away. We can start tonight."

"Lunch is served," the Head Cook let everyone know. He also reminded us: "That there were two more rollos after lunch."

\--16 --

"FOR THIS ROLLO, 'OPPOSITES ATTRACT', we, Chris and Marie, leave the theocratic, some may call it theoretical,

and move into the practical. This talk may be titled, 'But you don't know my spouse.'

"I have heard you saying, all this is fine, but you don't know the person I'm married to. He or she puts on a good face for everyone, but me. You don't know anything about what I have to put up with.

"I have good news, and also some bad news.

"The good news first \- all people have strengths, and as Paul's

said to the Ephesians, you are unique and special (Eph 4:6). There are various gifts and these gifts match our personalities.

"The last subject, which requires a drawing, we will undertake, examines our personalities. Although each person has a basic personality, that personality may change, I should say softened with experience, Christianity, divorce, etc.

"We present this change in personalities, so you will have been warned a head of time, and can plan accordingly.
"Here is another way to look at people. We know, and maybe you accept, or you will accept later, that God created man and women as different folks. So much so, that informed and wise men and women take these differences into account when talking---man to woman, or woman to man.

"Others, maybe psychologists, have grouped all personalities into four categories: choleric, sanguine, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Weird, huh? Now, since we change with time and knowing Jesus, those that say such things, say we contain a little bit of each personality in all people.

"Jesus had all four personalities, equally balanced. Generally,

two or more personalities dominate each person. So, a person can be a sanguine, and melancholic or a phlegmatic and a sanguine.

"Or like me, I've let Christ work on me for many years with my personality in sight. I am phlegmatic with a significant part of each of the other three types.

"The business world wants everyone to be a choleric, and most top bosses have been groomed by a fellow choleric. The melancholic, analytical, and sanguine either fit in, or they become bypassed.

"God not only knows what you are, but He also knows what you will become. More good news. In a good news, bad news situation, I have learned to give the bad news between slices of good news. The bad news can be summed up by saying, opposites attract, the title of this rollo.

"To be complete, we seek what we think we need in a spouse,

and join to him or her. This forms the chemistry of a relationship. "There's some bad news, but I will touch on that later.

"More good news, God has selected a perfect spouse for each and
everyone of us. God knows the beginning, dating and courtship, from the end, when the kids are grown and you begin retirement and enter into the golden years. He also knows the growth planned for each of you. He knows the heartaches and the joys you will experience.

"The Bible tells us that He is all knowing. For example, when we go to a parade, we may select fantastic seats, but only God can see the starting and the ending points at the same time. How does He do it? I don't know. The Bible says it so, (Is 5:8; 2 Pt

1:20).

"Even the people that divide all people into four personalities acknowledge the difference between men and women. Maybe they looked in a keyhole or visited a hospital birthing room. Anyway, they classify men as warriors, hunters, protectors, and responsible for training, discipline and the head of the home.

"The women, those who gave birth, as nurturing, emotional, responsible for the care of the home and young children. The Bible tells us the same thing: women should be submitted to a man. Psychologists say because of a man's strength, women should be submitted to a man.

"We see differences between men and women in shopping. The man goes right to what he wants whether it be a suit of clothes or camping equipment, buys it, then goes on to the next item. Women do it differently; they shop. As best as I can define a woman shopping; they visit many stores.

"They may, or may not buy anything. I know one lady, that has decided to go up and down every aisle in a store to learn what's new. She may, or may not have a list, but if it looks good, or it is priced right, she may buy it.

"It depends on her personality . . . the budget may or may not be a
consideration.

"The Jews, you may remember, God's chosen people, celebrate a Bar-mitzvahs, when a young man, usually thirteen, becomes a man.

"Naturally, he was not a hunter yet, but his mother, who had nurtured him as a young child and raised him for this moment, would now place him under the father's care. His father would teach him to be a hunter, a warrior, a protector of women and the spiritual leader of a home.

"Either way, men are different from women."

Rod thought, all right. I get it! Men are different than women. "In your discussions you will have an opportunity to pick out

your own and your spouse's personality.

"Now, the bad news. There are many strengths or characteristics, but each personality has the possibility that what attracted you to your spouse originally, can become in time a weakness, so much so, that you may think about murdering your spouse.

"God sees our struggle as growth. We, however, are not God. Let me repeat that, we are not God."

Rod continued his commentary in his head, right-on, we're not

God.

"Now more bad news . . . in most marriages that have been studied, we find that opposite personalities attract each other.

"And in marriage, although you were head over heels in love at first and for many days or years afterward, in time the weaknesses become more obvious. For example, you liked that he was
confident and self-sufficient, but now he has become bossy and always right. Even when he is wrong . . . he's right.

"Jesus blended all parts of these four personalities, and with God's help, you and your spouse will grow in the struggle God puts before you.

"An excellent book, Personality Plus by Florence Littauer, published by Revell in 1983, outlines the strengths and weaknesses of each type of personality. The author deals with the now, not the future, or the change that comes from reading the Bible and studying yourself.

"Some personalities won't read this book, others couldn't care less what this book says. The person who interested in these changes, will read this book again and again, to see what God has been doing. We've given your table eight copies of the characteristics and the weaknesses for each type."

Mike showed his copies of the strengths and the weaknesses. "Remember any differences you find between you and your

spouse, God calls growth. God knows. Remember, first find your strengths and what you liked about your spouse before seeing the classifications and weaknesses."

All, including Anne, listened intently.

THE CHARTS revealed many things. The table could determine that some growth had been planned for each of them.

"Yeah, but we love each other. This may happen, but it is way down the road." Carolle postulated.

Maryann offered: "Well, I can see some growth . . . it's more like arguments that I have with Edward. I see some growth required
in Edward . . . and . . . maybe, me too."

Edward added to Maryann's comment: "I can see she has a lot of growing to do. Me too, but not as much – well, maybe."

Carolle spoke up: "I can see some places where Rod and I

currently have difficulties, and they may get worse in time." Mike questioned: "Like what?"

Carolle didn't know what to say to Mike. Rod inserted: "I've told you, honey, the boss wants me always to think about my job. I'm just learning. After a while, I will know more, and be home more often. You'll see."

Carolle responded: "The conference folks told me that there would be days like this."

Then, she reaffirmed Rod: "I love you Rod, and if you have to work late learning the insurance business, I understand."

KB asked, "Mike, you and Rose have been to these conferences before, do you agree with the speaker? Do you put any value in these charts? Do people behave this way?"

"Most people I know have a blend of these strengths and weaknesses, and we can't say what happens behind closed doors.

"Most folks put on their Christian faces and behaviors on Sunday, but if you have a chance to see them away from church, say on a Monday or Tuesday, you will find that the psychologists have a pretty good handle and mostly correct in their evaluations.

"In other words, we are not finished yet, and if we let Him, He will shape us into a balanced person, like Jesus."
Anne admitted: "We each have some growing to do."

Rod added quickly: "Yeah, but we have to let God do it."

KB became so encouraged, Anne listened as he asked everyone: "God has provided. He will continue to provide, wont He?"

Mike looked at KB: "Philippians 2:13."

KB turned to Philippians 2:13, and read silently. "Thank you, Mike." Mike smiled broadly.

Anne listened to Mike, and she said to herself: "Maybe it's not all

Kenny."

Mike tried to bring the table together. Mike told a story from the

Bible about a rich, young ruler.

"In this story, Jesus outlines very specific course of action, but the rich young ruler didn't listen to Him. He went away with much sorrow. Jesus told the rich young ruler to keep the commandments, and to sell his possessions and follow Him.

"He asked him basically to change," Maryann spoke for the table. "We all have to change, if we don't, good strengths will become

weaknesses," the table agreed.

"CONTROL OR adjust, but not change," Anne said, emphatically. Then she thought about Kenny and their marriage.

Anne considered changing. Kenny had just asked Jesus into his heart, but according to these charts . . . oh well . . . it would be a good time to change, Anne thought.

Maryann suggested: "We could draw a bunch of coins. You know
. . . change, and since nobody would figure it out, we can say we all plan to change."

"Change, we must," the table agreed.

"Yes, we must. Sooner or later, like menopause, we must plan for it," Carolle summarized.

"OK then?" Maryann asked. "Righto"

KB ventured, "This conference sure packs a bunch into our lives. I don't know about you, but I think this weekend has been great. We have been exposed to many things, and we will never be the same. I know I won't.

"I don't know about work. It's easy to say that God and Anne have my top priorities. God knows how this will all workout."

The final rollo started right away.

\--17--

THE ASSISTANT HEAD ROSITA, angel table knew him as Al, marched into the Rollo Room with his wife, the cooks, singing, "Jesus in the morning, Jesus at noon time . . . ." Each speaker had a special song that the cooks would sing as they brought the speaker and his wife to the podium. Then, quickly the cooks

would leave, and in this case, Al and Jan, would stay at the podium.

Anne thought about her Kenny and his going forward. Wow! We can have a family. Tonight!
Al started. He introduced himself as Al, and his wife, Jan. "I'm to share with you, 'What Really Matters,' I have some good

news . . . and some bad news.

"First and foremost: You must each have a personal relationship with Jesus. Not to just know of Him. Not just to know about Him . . . but, to personally adopt Him.

"To know that your sins have been forgiven, and you know you have a home in Heaven."

We now have that. Don't we? A family . . . tonight! Oh boy! Anne agreed silently.

"You keep your relationship fresh and growing by reading your Bible and praying every day. Pastor Ernie can give you other tips, or put you in touch with someone that can help you grow in your relationship with Jesus..

"These practices need not take a long time, or if it isn't possible, skipping a day or two is understandable. Just do what you can each day.

"Secondly, as Mike so eloquently said, 'Jesus Christ must be incorporated in your marriage.' Think of the two rings and the cross of Christ among them, or what your table drew.

"Apply what Jesus said, and what God says in His Word to your marriage, especially what God said through Paul in Ephesians.

"God created us, and He gave us His Manufacturer's Handbook, that when we know what's in the book. As the book of James says, that we will do those things to please God."

I want to please God, Anne agreed. This the second time someone told Anne, she needs to please God.
"Those two form the basis of a good marriage. I have been selected to give you some other points that we know will help.

"As it has been said, 'Rome wasn't built in a day.' Don't expect big changes in your spouse starting tomorrow or even in a day or two.

"You may see your spouse remember the messages presented this weekend for a day or two, but then they will forget, and the old ways may emerge. If they listen to Pastor Ernie, and stay in

God's Word, they will change slowly.

Maybe five years and many conferences later, you will see some shift in their approach to some things."

KB muttered: "Five years? Not me. I' ready now"

"So, we ask you to remember, 'Rome wasn't built in a day.' Don't expect too much. Be gentle, and praise your spouse for

everything they do positive way, no matter how small. "The base contains two; I've four more.

"Another . . . I am speaking to the husbands, you will find much joy by accepting the truth that women are different from men.

"Most women have different interests than men, they approach problems differently, and the one difference that use to trip me up frequently, women talk differently than men. They talk, and talk, and talk." Some laughter filled the room.

"Wives, let me say to you also, that men were created different than women. They have different interests and they approach problems and tasks differently. And as Jack pointed out, they talk differently, if at all.
"In my own life, Jan has shared with me that she stays on the same topic until she completes her thoughts. She also waits for my questions and my reply, and then, if we agree, she goes to another subject.

"Women, no matter what their age or education, have connectors between the left and the right sides of their brains. Men have no such connectors between their left and right brains. I tell Jan, I have been created that way.

"For a marriage to work, you and your spouse, and here is number four, plan some together time. But you husbands say, except for work, I am always with my spouse. That's true, physically, but

you still may be thinking about the work that isn't completed.

"Women also need together time. The kids run around all day, and you and your spouse may be tired, or have had a busy day."

Anne thought to herself, I know what that means. And I don't have any kids . . . yet.

"Many activities and feelings may get between you and your spouse. A scheduled, planned activity with your spouse puts those feelings right, and being already scheduled, eliminates those times where your spouse has to work later than normal.

"Let me add a phone call – we all have cell phones, would express love to your spouse waiting for you to arrive. I have learned it doesn't take much time to be nice, and a simple call saying you will be a few minutes late has saved many marriages.

"Here is another idea we found very helpful, establish a confidante of the same sex.

"Of course your spouse knows more about you, and your spouse should be first in you life after God. Why a confidant of the same
sex? Men and women don't think a like, and approach problems differently, as Jack reminded us.

"In addition to special dates that have been scheduled and should be considered non-breakable, couples need some time with someone of the same sex. Men, your spouse may have 70,000 words bottled up inside her . . . and no one to share them with. Likewise, a fishing trip with, just guys, can work wonders.

"Men, and I'm speaking as a man, who loves his wife, needs to bounce an idea or a thought off someone of the same sex to get a feel and make adjustments.

"He may be not ready to present the idea or thought to his spouse, who has the option of looking at the thought or idea from many angles all at once.

"After the idea has been bounced off another male, and your husband thinks it is valid. Then, a husband will obtain his wife's input. Let her look at it from many angles. She may express a good addition to the idea, or her input may reveal an important point . . . an perspective not seen by him or his friend.

"Why not ask her first, you may ask? She might shoot it down even before she has the idea fully explained. The idea may need some adjusting, or to be thought through further. It helps to affirm men rather than shoot down their ideas.

"Visualize an airplane, a military jet, taxiing down the runway, gaining speed, and experiencing a final thrust into the blue skies. Now airborne. The jet angled for a steep climb . . . all thrusters blaring. Now, that is how some men think and prepare.

"Women feel the idea isn't going to work out. So, many times they shoot the jet out of the sky while the thrusters blare, before the wheels are up, and the jet is flying through the blue sky
smoothly, before all the questions have been considered." Maryann, said to herself, "I've been guilty of that."

"Women, I'm not a woman, but Jan will back me up on this . . . women enjoy talking things out with another woman. Your husband probably won't listen to you for more than a few minutes., anyway"

All the women at the Angel table nodded in agreement. Anne though about talking to Kenny.

"It may be a feeling about something, or something personal that you want to share with another woman. What has she experienced? Is it normal?

"Without a confidant of the same sex you may never know. I strongly suggest that each of you establish a relationship with a person of the same sex.

"Moving on . . . small groups let you meet other church people. Our church services have become too big to greet each other every time we go to church, and some of us have kids, who have to be escorted to and from Sunday School, eliminating a social time to visit and talk with friends.

"The groups meet in the friendly atmosphere of a home, where you can meet other couples and make new friends.

"The church divides our Small Groups by ages, 20, 29, 30-50, and over 50. I think there is a new group forming for 85 and over.

"Each group wrestles their own needs. We have groups for couples, singles, college age, etc. I think there is a group for grandparents raising grand kids, single women with kids, etc.

"If a group exists, it will be helpful to you. Find a group that suits
your particular needs, and join up. If you don't find one, start your own.

"In the few minutes remaining, let me tell you about the home fellowship we attend. It's for couples with children.

"The kids play with one another while we study the Bible, and enjoy adult conversation. We share the cost of a babysitter to watch over the kids.

"In the spare bedroom Jon and Ann bring their new two year old twins to sleep through the study. At the end of the study, they carefully pick them up, and bring them home where they set them in their cribs.

"We even raised some money for them when we heard that they had twins, because no one's expecting twins, and the extras really add up when you're buying for two. They said that twins didn't run in their family. We were all surprised, including them, and we did what we could as sound as we heard.

"One item about Small Groups. They let you practice being a Christian with others. At Small Groups you can watch other couples, ask questions, watch your spouse, and even ask a question, that may have bugged you silently for sometime.

Anne considered her role with Kenny, she thought, I'll bet that would be good for Kenny. I'll ask him. He's the boss. I'll do what he says.

"You meet others, eat. . . . oh, let me tell you about the food. I know places where the ladies bring deserts: such variety, and so good. It's sometimes worth going just to eat, let me tell you. Anyway, you get the idea."

Rod poked Carolle: "Let's find that group."
Al continued: "In summary, adding these activities will enhance your marriage. I know it did mine and Jan's.

1. Know Jesus; really know Him.

2. Apply what God says to your marriage.

3. Accept the differences between men and women.

4. Plan time together.

5. Have a same sex confidant.

6. Join a Small Group.

"That's it. Thank you. Oh, let me ask Jan if she wants to add anything."

"No. I agree with everything you have said. Although, there is just one other item. How can I put this . . . here goes . . . couples . . . each spouse needs alone time. Not as couples, but alone in . . . solitude. Each person needs to recharge, look at what God has done, reflect, pause, smell the roses.

"This is so important. Get away by yourself, and do nothing. No

TV, word games, jig-saw puzzles, gardening. Nothing.

"It's okay to go outside as long as you don't garden or pick up anything. Just see what God has done, and praise Him for what you find, like the color of flowers."

Anne thought, now that's a good idea.

"When I first started enjoying solitude, I was horrible at it. I would have good intentions, but I would always find myself doing something.

"Now, I can go ten minutes without doing anything. I'm trying to reach thirty minutes – eventually I will go fifteen minutes without doing anything, then, hopefully, thirty minutes.

"Try it; you will find it recharging – difficult – but recharging. I
was brought up thinking that time was precious, and to waste any of it a sin, but I've learned that time in solitude . . . doing nothing

. . . recharged my soul, cause me to focus on God, and made me a happier person.

"Try it . . . you'll see. That's all I wanted to say." Applause filled the room, as Al and Jan left.

KB STARTED: "Well, that's a whole load. Good suggestions, but for us to follow all of those items, we will have to rearrange a few things."

Maryann stated the obvious, although sometimes missed: "Isn't that what's this conference is all about? Accepting Christ and applying Him to your marriage are good things, but each of us has to find time and change a bit."

"Edward and I have been down this road many miles; we have encountered every curve and obstacle.

"What Al just said may have helped us immeasurably. Just reading God's Word and joining a Small Group would improve our marriage, I'm sure."

Rod asked: "How do we draw all that?"

Mike replied: "No drawing required for this last rollo. Just some suggestions to consider."

Carolle said: "What about special time with another woman, that's important. I wish sometimes that I had somebody to talk to."

Anne said: "Don't you mean confidant? I know people, but my only confidant is Jesus. I would love somebody I could talk to –
girl talk.

"Oh, I just wish for an older woman. Who has been there before. She doesn't have to have all the answers, or even do it right, but if she has been there; I could learn from her . . . even her mistakes."

Rod chimed in: "I like the time together. Since the kids, Carolle finds herself too busy or tired. I suppose, I could help her more, she does great, but I agree that a scheduled time is a good idea.

"This conference has given us a time to renew our relationship."

Edward, winked at Rod: "Oh, you did fine this weekend. I wasn't the only one who noticed that your bunk looked the same this morning as it did when you 'tidied-up' before breakfast yesterday.

"I wish Maryann and I were younger, we would have stayed out all night too. Let me add . . . I have a close relationship with a male friend. Where we can bounce ideas off each other, I'll have to try him on a boy-girl question.

"He's been to these retreats before. I wonder who's his confidant. I always thought it was me."

KB interjected: "I guess you can have a confidant, but be afraid to use him."

Carolle let everybody know: "Not me. If she clams up, I'm out of there."

Mike asked: "What brings it all together?"

Anne expressed some concerned: "Great ideas, we even practice some. As KB said, we can have a confidant, and not use them."
Carolle added: "Or . . . go to the trouble of getting a sitter and finding a Small Group . . . enjoy the food, and not learn anything."

"The home fellowship has to be people oriented," someone at the table added.

Anne thought about her own marriage to Kenny. God doesn't need my help. He brought Kenny forward; He can repair my marriage with Kenny. I'll just back off, and let God do it. I'll tell Kenny.

Maybe tonight after we start a family. I'll tell him, he's in charge. Wow, that's not going to be easy for me, but like the table said, we all have to change. I'll tell him tonight.

Edward added, "We see ourselves as a couple first, and all these extras may add to our marriage, but they won't do anything for our us unless we involve God. We haven't in the past, but we must change." He looked at Maryann, while he talked. Maryann's eyes wet with tears. She squeezed his hand.

"Many times we forget that for a marriage to work, we must work at our marriage," Anne said.

Anne thought, sometimes working on our marriage means letting go, and letting God.

Mike interjected: "Jesus said, 'My yoke (truth, wisdom, following Him) is easy.' He also said, 'I came to give you life, and that more abundantly'."

Rod reiterated, "Easy? We just agreed that good marriages take work. Didn't we?"

Mike looked at Rod: "Some folks find it easier than others. Rose
and I had quite a struggle before she completely let go of the reins, and then I had to learn to be the leader of the home."

Me too . . . I'm going to have a struggle letting God be the boss,

Anne admitted to herself that she had to change.

Rod summed it for the whole table: "It's easy, if you follow God's rules."

Mike added: "Something like that. God has set His rules for marriage. Paul told us to follow those rules. God must know the rules work."

"Amen," the table agreed.

\--18--

THE SPONSORS PICKED UP THEIR guests for the drive home. some attendees had changed a whole bunch, some a little, some not all. Everyone had a story, and the drive home involved much conversation and thinking. They had eaten lunch, and dinner remained several hours away.

THE MOST changed were Anne and KB. Anne couldn't be more pleased. She wanted to be a Mom more than anything, and now, tonight, they would start a family. Kenny had said that tonight

was the night.

Kenny would be the Christian husband she always wanted. Christ would become the center of her home.

Anne had been a Christian long enough to know that this change in Kenny belonged to God, and she, Anne, shouldn't say anything.
She remembered what Al had said about Rome was not built in a day. Anne planned accordingly.

Anne had to talk to Kenny about her submitting to him. She gave this miraculous transformation in Kenny to God. Kenny was in charge. She decided that she would back off. She would follow God, and Kenny. Now, they both followed God, and Kenny was in charge. She would tell him tonight.

KB had given his life to Jesus. He had an eternal perspective, and the most important concern – raising his boys. Kenny thought about the boys he would raise . . . he would make sure that they would grow up as Christian men.

They would go to Sunday School, he would go to church . . . probably become active in Men's ministry, help out setting up each Sunday, go on various mission trips. He was on-fire for the Lord!

Since he and Anne didn't have any children, God could surprise them with a boy and a girl, or two girls.

EDWARD MET his and Maryann's sponsors, for the drive home. Thinking about the past weekend, he felt he had been fully exposed, and probably talked too much.

He had learned that he didn't know enough Scripture. He thought, I am going to rise early and read a chapter a day.

Maybe, I'll take a verse that God really spoke to me about, and I'll meditate and memorize it on my morning constitutional . . . that I can become a table leader.

Mike and Rose were good, but they didn't do much. I can do as well. The Gladstones can be a perfect couple for this retreat.
They share the same problems as Maryann and me. I'll mention the Gladstones to Maryann.

MARYANN CONFIDED that she had told Edward that, I've got to back off. I failed the test that Jack and Blanch presented, and many times I have chosen to adorn my self with clothes and trinkets to find a cure for loneliness, rather than seek you out and do something together.

Maryann continued her thoughts, I will touch him. If the time is right, and if God says so. Maybe then, I will. Also, before I buy something, I'll ask God. If he says, "No," then I won't. I hope I hear Him.

ROD SAW Hank, his sponsor, across the room, talking to another sponsor. Jan appeared to have not come with him. Rod thought, that's strange, she must be here somewhere.

Rod motioned to Carolle as soon as he spotted Hank: "There's Hank, but where is Jan? Oh, I see her . . . over there." She's wearing jeans . . . and a green blouse, Rod observed silently.

Carolle kissed Rod, and went to join Jan and let her know that she and Rod were ready to go home.

Rod hadn't changed as much as Anne or KB. In fact, Rod hadn't changed at all, or had he changed and didn't know it yet.
