 
I swear to God a real video is coming soon. Here's a sneak preview
But I just saw Spider-man homecoming. So why not do a little reel it in on it? Have a little fun,
you know. Spider-Man homecoming is...
the sixth Spider-Man movie? It's
the third reboot...
um... Tom Holland plays the third iteration of Spider-Man.
I think there was a TV show, too? There were like four of them... not counting the animated ones, there's like ten of those
It's like "Oh, Spider-Man again?"
When I saw the trailer I was like oh spider-Man again
Oh, he's going to fight another guy this time
another green guy
Okay, he fights a lot of green guys
So I was like "Alright
It'll probably be fine. It's Marvel after all. Marvel
mostly puts out good movies. You know."
I saw the movie just yesterday and
I I
Loved it this movie is Goddamn fantastic
It is a perfect Spider-Man movie. It is one of the most fun movies
I've seen all year it is one of the best marvel movies. I don't know where it ranks
I'm just breaking out the list I'd say it's a little bit above
Civil War
All these marvel movies have many many problems obviously but the strengths of this movie far Outweigh its weaknesses
First off Tom Holland is the best portrayal of Spider-man. He does a perfect job
Capturing what Tobey Maguire had with Spider-Man which is the sense of vulnerability?
the sense that we're watching an actual nerd and
That we're watching a kid who is a kid and who is immature and who makes mistakes?
Isn't a whiny brat what really sells it with him as his voice because he does kind of look older. He doesn't look
15 or whatever he's supposed to be but he has his voice like this
his Raspy Little voice which he even tries to cover up in the movie by having this uh
This book for me, but it's not just his performance that sells the fact that he's a kid
It's the writing. It's the fact that Spider-Man makes dumb mistakes
It's the fact that he does more than he has to more than he's capable of doing because even though
He's a 15 year old
He still feels like he's tough shit because he was with the avengers for one scene in Civil war this movie also doesn't waste any
time
Explaining the origin of Spider-Man again
It doesn't we know the origin of spider
and it doesn't show peter being a good kid who's in love with Mary Jane Watson or
when stacy it doesn't show
Fucking uncle ben giving them the same speech about power with great power comes great responsibility
Except the second time around it's way worse
He believed that that if you could do good things for other people you had a moral obligation to do those things
That's what's at Stake here, not choice
responsibility
Yes
Great. We don't have to see uncle ben dying again. We don't have to see Spider-Man getting bit by a spider
There's one line in the movie where a guy asks him like did it hurt to get bit by the spider
And you're like. Oh, he got bit by a spider
Got it. Thanks none of that shit
that that
Time-Wasting shit that was in the amazing Spider-man is in this movie
But at the same time this movie is an origin story
because the origin of this spider man is much different than the origin of
The original Tobey Maguire Spider-Man and even the amazing Spider-man if you want to count that shit
We already know that whole Backstory about
Aunt may and Uncle Ben and the spider and all that but now we get to see a new chapter in
Spider-Man's life one that's much more appropriate in this universe that has been set up this marvel universe where
He now has this suit and he now has this power
But he lives in a world where being a superhero one isn't that big of a deal and two there's like other
superheroes really keeping him down
Because he's a kid and he's trying so desperately to become that spider man
he wants everyone to think he is is this shining beacon of
Bravery and awesomeness and heroism what he's a kid, and he's stupid, and he makes stupid mistakes
And he fucks people over and he gets people in trouble
And he puts lives in danger because of it and Peter Parker's Journey in
That respect and that arc he goes through and that in and of itself is kind of an origin story
It's about him
learning with great power comes great responsibility
without someone saying in an awkward line of dialogue with great power comes great responsibility
You had a moral obligation to do those things that's what's at Stake here, not choice
responsibility Tom Holland sells that the writing sells that
Everything about this movie and though, that's the depiction of Peter parker and again. I'm not like a comic book guy
I don't read the shit, but it was so refreshing to see and
We're watching what the sixth Spider-Man movie now and at this point. It could be so just
redundant and boring and Stale, but when you're watching this
Fifteen-Year-Old kid acts like a real 15 year old kid going through a new journey. It's such a breath of fresh air
Which shocked the hell out of me because that's bare minimum. I was expecting you know
Spider-Man is going to do the spider-Man things and there is that stuff in this movie?
And that stuff is the weakest stuff in the movie though the best parts are just watching Peter parker
Fumble around trying to find his way in the world
We got lots of other great performances here to Marissa tomei as aunt may again a refreshing
Take on aunt may not an old bat again
Lecturing peter about you guys do great things
Great Power comes great responsibility
Lead Us, not into temptation, but deliver us
There's no fuckin scene where she looks through his laundry or whatever and she goes. Why is the
Clothing all red and blue. I'm time. You did the laundry you turned everything blue and red
I was a mentally yes
I was washing the the the American flag like can I please know why was she so silly?
I don't know alright laundry Sheriff Tony stark which was the biggest
That that's the biggest concern. I have of this movie is that
Much like the other Marvel movies most of them anyway
There's always the shoehorned in
We got a shove in marvel people. We have to throw in I don't know the falcon into ant-man why?
So that we can have a scene where everyone goes. Oh look it's the falcon is it that fucking exciting?
No
It isn't it's it's she warned in and it would have been much better if you just didn't put it in the movie at all
Tony stark in this movie though is an actual character. He acts like Tony stark it mirrors a lot of
The Dynamic Tony stark had with the kid in iron Man 3 so it feels
Natural for his character to be some kind of mentor for Peter parker again. He's Tony stark
So he doesn't do a very good job being a mentor
But he tries you know and they didn't feel shoehorned in there at all Tony stark is this kind of father figure
trying to guide Peter to become
what he wants to be which is you know a hero that everyone looks up to but he just keeps fuckin up and
Some of it's the kids fault and some of it's tony starks fault for being involved with other stuff jon
Favreau is in this film a lot
He's kind of the the Henchman Tony stark sends out there to watch Peter, and he's funny
I like Scindia in this she's pretty funny
I don't want to say a lot about her, but I found her fun Michael keaton as the bad guy
They got the bad guy dressed in a green suit
But he does a good job selling his character. He's probably one of the better
Marvel villains and that I could understand what he was trying to do and his motivation wasn't revenge
It wasn't like Spider-Man killed my kid or Spider-Man
Put me in jail, so I get back at him. It wasn't any of that. It was he was a businessman
selling arms
illegal arms to people who wanted to do illegal things with them and
My boo Keaton got pissed off
And he's like Spider-Man
I'm going to kill you if you keep fucking with my business and that goes into another thing that I love so much about this
movie even though it is tied in with the Tony stark stuff and the avenger stuff this movie is so
Small-scale it's not trying to do anything over-the-top or crazy
It's not just crazy fucking action there aren't 10 billons there, or there is anything with the avengers
Spider-Man doesn't have to fight aliens or any of that kind of shit the movie is
Spider-Man is a teenager and this guy is selling guns and
Spider-Man has to stop them
And that's so great, and it's so small scale that when Spiderman tries to tell Tony about it
Tony doesn't even give that much of a shit. He's like yeah, I'll call the FBI in to take care of it his sidekicks
the fat Kid
He was okay
There was there were scenes where he really worked and I understood the point of him
But at the same time he got a little obnoxious with his um
Your spider-man. How does this work? Can you shoot a web this far? How do you do this can you summon the mummy exploiters?
Oh yeah, no
I know I am too still a shield can I kind of suit up with it you did that you fought the Falcon
That's so cool. There was a lot of that nonsense, and I really wish they'd tone that down a lot because that was
getting really fucking irritating peter having a sidekick character having a friend to like back him up and be his uh as he
Says the guy behind the computer guiding him through the mission nothing wrong with that necessarily
I did like that idea, and I did think he was funny. It's just
too much with him
Too much of the same dialogue with him and he's very much a type really everyone in this movie is a type except Peter himself
But to be fair in the original Spider-Man everyone's a type, too
If anything those characters are less developed than the characters in this spider-man. It's acceptable for this kind of movie because this
Overall is a flat-out comedy really the action stuff in this movie is it's decent the villain of the week plot is
serviceable in the movie didn't get bogged down by the Generic Love interest and
Their romance which was probably the worst part of the movie, but again it one serves a point in the plot
and
It wasn't focused on that much really if that's a good thing or a bad thing
I don't know we'll get into the love story later. God. What was I talking about? Oh?
Yeah, the movie is a comedy. I was saying while the characters in the story are all serviceable
The movie makes up for it with its comedy this movie is absolutely hilarious
Spider-Man's quips
We're not they weren't too many of them there weren't too few to where Spider-Man became this boring lifeless, you know
I'm just going to punch people the movie had this levity to it the sense of fun
That was so refreshing it almost goes too far in the comedy department
I guess that's when the complaints are going to start it because this movie is hilarious
But it almost goes too far
It's so much of a comedy that you start to not take things seriously the last movie
I reviewed baby driver. Which by the way
I bumped up that rating from an enthusiastic seven out of ten to an eight out of ten doesn't matter
But what baby driver does get right is while it's really funny and really stylized there are scenes that are supposed to be tense
and those scenes you take really seriously and
It's like we're not fucking around anymore baby for most of Spider-Man homecoming
There is absolutely no tension none because it's so concerned with being funny and being
Light-Hearted and showing Spider-man doing silly things and when he's fighting the bad guys he's doing his little quips and he's doing this
And all his quips are funny and all the action is fun and all you know the comedy works
but
It goes too far Michael Keaton at some point Kills someone in the movie
One of his henchmen for betraying him and he goes man. I thought that was the antigravity gun
And you didn't need to put a joke in there
Can't we just have Michael keaton be intimidating for one scene like oh, he meant to kill someone. That's how hardcore
He is about this business that he's going to kill people if you try to betray him
Can't we have a scene like that
Yeah, can we have one scene? Where you go? Oh man? I'm
Worried that's where it started to lose me a little bit, but then it redeems it
Because there is a reveal in this movie that is
So good. I don't know why I didn't see it coming
We're going to so this is the spoiler part
this is the spoiler part, so it is revealed toward the end of the movie that Michael Keaton is the father of
the black girl that is way out of
Tom Hollands leak she's beautiful, but she's like
I think they say she's a senior and she's like a foot taller than him
I'm like I don't see these two together. Don't call me a racist for that
It's not because she's black, and he's white
It's because she's like she looks like a runway model
and he looks like he's 14 that was a clever thing to make her black because I never
Guessed that she could be Michael Keaton's daughter
That I think that's why they did it honestly they were like oh
How do we make this a good twist? Let's make the love-interest black no, we'll see that coming
someone must have said that at some point in the boardroom, but yeah, I didn't see that coming at all and
I could see other people saying all that was so obvious
But I was so distracted by the fun and the humor and this beautiful brisk pace this movie moves along
that I
Didn't even think about that
And when it happened, I was just like oh
God oh my god out audibly in the theatre I was both laughing and crying
That whole scene that whole sequence. It was uncomfortable it was tense, and it was funny at all at the same time
It was perfect see how I like I go down this road of negativity
But then eventually it's just the movie wins me back because that's what it does
It's so much fun. It's so well done everything about it even
There's some minor characters in here played by really good actors and really good comedians that I like
Donald Glover is in this movie for like five minutes, and he's so good hannibal buress is in this movie for
Maybe a minute this movie does get bogged down by some things and even though this movie is Wildly entertaining and it
handles this material
Extremely, well it
Still gets bogged down by its very standard story again going back to baby driver much like that film
it's all in the execution at least it doesn't end with the blue laser in the sky at least it doesn't end with the
Bad guy blowing up the bad guy actually learned something and he accepts his defeat. He
learns he became too greedy and then
Right as he's about to die Spider-Man saves him and then he has a chance to be a dickhead at the end and he doesn't
He like learns from his mistakes
Isn't that refreshing?
to have a villain learns something and
Isn't just like oh?
I'm going to kill everyone this movie kept it simple that is a detriment to it kind of because it's a very standard
Marvel movie story as well as a very standard teenage high school story complete with a stupid bully
bullies peter for no reason. At the same time
It redeems itself with all these really great qualities.
I also did not think this movie was very visually compelling the cinematography is very standard
There is a terrible edit in this movie. I think it happened in the scene where spider-man's locked in some kind of Giant warehouse and
It does this
Pan like this is literally the transition. They do and it looks f* cking terrible,
I was like what the f*ck was that, who decided to do that that's something that like a high school student does
With windows movie maker you did that in your two hundred million Dollar movie?
I don't know what the budget of the film was but I was kind of
Baffled at how bad the Spider-man suit look not that I dislike the design so I like the design of it
I like the idea of it. I like that it has the it's kind of like the iron man suit
There's a voice inside of it to do all these different things
I like the eyes do the deadpool thing where they close and open based on his emotions going on at the moment?
but It looked fake
It's just looked fake even when it was real it looked think and I don't know what it is.
And I adjusted to it eventually and it stopped bothering me.
But for like the first 20 minutes every time he was in that suit
I was like this suit looks fucking fake even when it's literally him standing there in the suit
It looks like Cg on there's a very standard romance in here which I mentioned before that
It works on a plot level I understand why it needed to be there
You know and it led to the great stuff toward the end, but this movie is so almost scared of doing anything
Really emotional. It's like a teenager. Who's afraid of being sentimental
I guess that's kind of the point, but this movie needed some heart. It's a really funny movie
but it's afraid of having anything intimate which is why the the romance and it feels so distant and
Forced and it works on a plot level
But it doesn't work on an emotional level
You never get the sense that these two are made for each other you never get the sense that these two really like each other
So they even know anything about each other if the Marc webb Spider-man got anything, right?
It's that
It's that when they when those two were talking to each other and nothing spider-man related was happening the movie actually kind of worked
Felt like a couple talking to each other the first one anyway, not the second one
But in this it was so rushed and like let's just get this out of the way so we can get to all the cool
stuff
Why?
This is an important part of the story any intimate moments or moments of tension are
Constantly undercut by a joke or by comedy or by some thing that happens. Why is this movie so afraid of having?
an emotional scene every every scene in this movie that is trying to be emotional or
somewhat inspiring like the scene where
Spiderman lists a bunch of rubble off of him after the vulture knocks a roof on him
And he looks into a puddle of water and says you can do it spider-man you can do it
that wasn't
Emotional that was kind of cheesy and not in a good way
Not new guardians of the Galaxy to kind of cheesy or direct says we're family and it's cheesy as hell
But it's cute it feels like the director didn't do a good job of capturing the emotion in that scene
So they had to get the composer to write some cheesy piece of music and then have the editor
Editing a line from Tony stark from earlier in the movie and just plop it in
That sort of felt like doesn't make the movie worse. It's just having those elements and spending even ten more minutes
just having cute scenes of
Peter and
The girl talking to each other or more scenes of Michael Keaton
Explaining his motivation making him more human all of that could have made this movie much better. Yes this movie has better action
It has better comedy
It's less cheesy the movie had all that stuff, but the one thing it's missing
That those original three had is a little bit of heart
I'm off the movie maker
Goodbye
