

Sleepy Beginnings

By: Chessela Helm
Copyright 2020 by After Love Press

Published at Smashwords

Cover: Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_rido'>rido / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

### Chapter 1 : Tasha

Working behind the taproom bar didn't come with many perks, but seeing a gorgeous guy walk up and put something in his mouth would always be Tasha's favorite. Watching some dude too hot for words downing a beer never failed to inspire her naughtiest thoughts. And she needed those thoughts, because after being ditched by her husband seven months ago, she hadn't found anyone new worth dating.

However, the guy sauntering up to the bar might just be the one to take her from ex to sex. Corkscrew curls fell to his eyebrows in front and hung even lower by his ears and neck. His dark brown hair highlighted deep chocolate eyes with a playful gleam. He had a scruffy chin, though whether he wanted to start a beard or just couldn't be bothered shaving that morning remained in question. She had a feeling he knew he looked like sex on legs either way. His dark facial hair emphasized how thick and lush his lips were. With his handsome Latino looks, he could easily be a male model. She'd buy whatever he advertised. Hell, he could be in an ad for herpes medication and she'd still find him attractive. After all, what's a little herpes between friends?

She nearly busted out laughing but managed to put on a smile as he approached. Finally, something to cheer her up after eight hours of work and the heaviest day of her period. Should she flirt? Play it cool? What would get him to choose her for his vacation fling?

"Hi," she said, going for bland friendliness rather than risk losing his interest. "Since it's your first time coming in, we do a dollar off the flight of four. Your choice of drafts."

He grinned. "I'm definitely in a small town when you know it's my first time here."

He had an accent from somewhere in Latin or South America. She'd never met anyone with that particular sexy as sin accent. His panty dropping voice made the entire package that much more appealing, and judging from the bulge in his jeans, the package already had plenty of appeal.

Tasha laughed. "To be fair, the taproom is only open on Thursdays, and it's been ten months since I missed a day."

"That makes sense. What are my options for the beer?"

Tasha explained the styles and got what he picked. He took a measured sip of the pale ale, then nodded.

"Very good. Do you work here the other four days a week?"

"I'm the assistant brewmaster."

"You did a splendid job." He tried the brown ale. "Mmm, lives up to the hype."

"What hype?" Sleeping Beer got sold all over Michigan, but they hadn't achieved much reputation beyond that.

"I met Adam Jones two weeks ago in the club I worked at in New York City, and he started talking about how great Sleepy Sands, Michigan, is. He raved about this beer, said he'd come to the taproom every Thursday since he moved up here. I didn't realize you were only open Thursdays. Good thing I arrived today."

"Definitely. How long you in town?" Hopefully long enough for meaningless sex.

Model Man laughed. "I guess that depends on whether I take to the place as quickly as Adam did. Two days ago I rented a moving truck and drove here. If I can get the job I want and find a place to live, I'll be here indefinitely."

Interesting. He wouldn't be a vacation fling, he'd be a neighbor fling? It occurred to Tasha that something bad happened to make him leave New York City. He had a bittersweet air that suggested a recent upsetting experience. Perhaps he had a difficult breakup? If so, he wouldn't be in the market for a fling any time soon. He likely wouldn't want to start anything physically or emotionally for a few months. There went her idea of getting back on the horse ASAP. Either she needed to find someone else for a hookup, or she needed to be prepared to wait if she wanted to get into bed with Model Man.

Had he just set off her lust radar because of his hotness, or was there something specific about this man that brought ideas of satisfucktion to mind? Sure, he had hotness factor out the wazoo, but she felt drawn to him beyond that. She thought about a good looking tourist she saw last week and felt no tingles. Then she thought about straddling Model Man six months from now, and all girly bit signals were go. She didn't want just anyone. She wanted him, and she could wait.

It occurred to her that she'd been toying with the idea of a roommate for the past month but hadn't found a good fit. It would be pretty stellar to see his gorgeous face every day, even if she didn't get to see it attached to her crotch. The more they got to know each other, the more likely he'd be to want something physical with her later. Model Man gave her good vibes, and even though she'd be constantly tempted to shove him onto the couch and climb aboard, she could slow her roll until he felt ready. Renting to him would be financially smart, and it would mean constant eye candy. She just needed to make sure he'd be a safe bet.

"I may be renting out a room in my house," she said before she could overthink things.

His eyebrows shot up. "Yeah? What's the setup, and how much per month?"

"Two story, four bedroom house with two bathrooms upstairs and a half down. The basement is fully finished, but there are no windows, so I just use it for watching TV, exercising, or hanging out with friends. Master's mine, one bedroom is my painting studio, one is the guest room where you can sleep until you get unpacked, and the last bedroom is empty, so it's all yours. I'd need to speak to three references before I'll rent to you. One work and two personal. If you're interested, I can do rent for... hang on, let me think."

She knew how much a decent one bedroom apartment cost in the area because her best friend lived in one. The rent should be less than that – more like splitting a two bedroom. Mentally adding his share of utilities, she quoted him a price slightly under what a one bedroom cost. Getting that every month would significantly help her financially.

Tasha made a decent salary, and her parents had paid on the house until she and her ex took over, but she still had three years left on the mortgage. Plus, her seven year old car needed to be retired. The plan had been to buy a new car this year, but when her husband said he'd had sex with his coworker, she'd gotten pregnant, and he wanted to raise the child with her, Tasha's world had been tipped over and thrown onto the pavement. How long had she wanted to start a family only to hear her husband say he wasn't ready? Now, suddenly, he could handle it with someone else?

After the announcement he'd moved out, and with neither of them fighting for assets the divorce went through in six and a half months. Tasha would celebrate two weeks of freedom Friday, and having a five alarm hottie move in sure would make life more interesting. Especially knowing that if he didn't move in, she'd have no guarantee of seeing him regularly. Yes, a town with 5,624 people meant you'd see each person out and about, but not as often as one might think. The idea of living with him, even though it meant 'look but don't touch' for the foreseeable future, very much appealed to her.

Beautiful things should be appreciated. Especially beautiful people.

Model Man contemplated, then nodded. "That's doable. I checked apartment prices last night and that's cheaper than a one bedroom. I'd have to talk to a reference for you, too, though."

Sensible. She pointed her thumb at the far end of the bar. "Ask Nigel. He owns the brewery. What's your name, anyway?"

He laughed. "I guess we got ahead of ourselves. I'm Rafael Santos."

"Tasha Yancey. We're getting our rush now, so I'll check out your references when it slows down."

Rafael nodded and tried the stout. Tasha walked away to take orders of people coming in, chatting with those she knew and welcoming the tourists she didn't. Sleepy Sands got a lot of tourists from being so close to the beautiful Sleeping Bear Dunes area. Sand dunes could be found along other places on the shores of Lake Michigan, but the Sleeping Bear area had some truly gorgeous scenery. Enough lakes surrounded the area to bring in people wanting to go out on the water, and wineries, local shops, and art galleries kept the non-outdoorsy folks occupied. With it being two weeks into June, the tourist population would stay this high until late August.

When the rush of folks coming from work subsided, Tasha walked back to Rafael. He'd struck up a conversation with Jenny Lu on the next stool. Jenny had a boyfriend, but Tasha still found herself scanning the woman for flushed cheeks.

"Hey, Jenny," Tasha said. "You welcoming Rafael to our lovely town?"

Jenny looked surprised. "No, he saw me flipping through doll pics and mentioned his best friend's wife collects, so he started telling me about her."

Rafael smiled at Tasha. "She and her husband are the people I wanted to use as my personal references. Is that alright? They knew me before they married, and I think it's important you talk to a female friend."

"Totally fine," Tasha said. "I'm on break, so I'm ready to speak to them."

Rafael dialed a number, greeted his friend with a quick explanation, and handed over the phone. Tasha took it to a corner of the bar where she could hear more easily. They kept the music in the taproom at a low volume to make conversation easier, but a full room of chatting folks got noisy.

"I'm Scout. So you're thinking of renting a room to that d-bag, Rafael."

Tasha laughed. "Should I be worried?"

"No. Best guy I know. And he has the best reputation of any model or photographer in the fashion world. Everyone loves working with him. He's steady, solid, and I'm going to miss the shit out of him."

Rafael really was a male model? Tasha managed not to guffaw. "Does he keep his space clean at home? I don't mind messiness, but I don't want someone leaving dirty dishes and clothes everywhere."

"Oh, no, he's not like that at all. When we first started out as models we were roommates, and he constantly cleaned. He kept me in line. I learned how to not be a slob, for which my wife is eternally grateful."

"I can imagine. Do I need to worry about anything? Does he drink a lot or smoke?"

"No. We're both thirty-two. Even if we wanted to party hard, we'd feel it the next day. Raf was never too into partying in the first place. He's the one sitting next to the addicts asking how he can help them get better. I think he would have been a good psychologist, but by the time he was able to take college courses, he wanted to get his BFA in Photography."

Wow. Pretty and talented. "Anything else I need to know?"

"Well, he just got his heart broken, so he's going to be a little sensitive for a while. But if you treat him well, I think it'll be easier for him to bounce back."

Tasha understood that feeling, and she'd clearly been reading Rafael's situation correctly. "I will. Rafael mentioned I could also speak to your wife?"

"Let me get Kaya. Honey baby, talk to Rafael's new housemate and tell her he's a good guy."

"Hello?" asked a woman's voice.

"Hi," Tasha said. "I'm trying to make sure Rafael is trustworthy to live with."

"One hundred percent. He's respectful of boundaries and he's very protective of women. There are some real predators in our industry, and if Rafael sees a guy act out of line, he shuts that down real fast. He's every woman's dream crush, other than my husband, Scout. Then Raf ended up dating that skank ho who cheated on him. I wanted to rip her hair out."

That explained leaving town in a hurry. "It sucks to see good people get taken advantage of."

"Definitely," Kaya said. "And I get that Raf needs to be away from any reminders of her, but I feel like Michigan is a little farther than he needed to go. I worry this move was made in haste, and he's going to regret it. I wouldn't ask him for a year's commitment, because I honestly don't know how long he'll last there. He has a damn good life in New York City. Though I know he wants to be away for now. If you're good to him while he's there, I can approve of his detour to small town life."

Tasha's stomach fell. Surely when Rafael healed enough to consider hooking up with her, he'd also be healed up enough to return to his old life. He wouldn't be interested in having a relationship with her, and after spending however many months as roommates, she'd surely be attached to him emotionally. Did she even want to do that to herself? Drool and fall in lust for months, have sex once or twice, then say goodbye?

Then again, she couldn't very well tell him she'd decided against renting a room to him because she found him too attractive. A few months of extra income were more important than a disappointing crush, and she'd just make sure she didn't fall in love. Mentally pushing him into the 'off limits' category, she accepted that she'd have to find someone else to get her single mingle on.

"Thanks for talking to me," she said. "You and your husband have been a big help."

"Anything for our boy. And you sound nice. I think it'll be good for him to be around a sane woman for a while."

After hanging up Tasha glanced at the number Rafael had written down for his professional reference – the owner of the club he worked at on weekends. The man's glowing review of Rafael went on for several minutes, and she finally had to gently cut him short so she could get back to work. Walking back to the bar, she returned Rafael's phone.

"Do you still want to rent to me?" he asked with a hopeful expression.

What could she say? "Definitely."

For better or worse, she'd thrown them on the same path. His smile melted the ice she'd tried to layer on. Then she suddenly had a vision of him moving back to New York City, leaving her cold all over again.

"Hey, Tash," called her friend Cara from down the bar. Tasha turned to see Cara waiting with her boyfriend, Mikey.

"Two Dune Brews?" Tasha asked, walking toward them.

"Always," said Cara. "If Nigel ever starts bottling that shit, he'll make a fortune."

Tasha shrugged. "He really likes to have an exclusive for the taproom."

"Everyone comes here every Thursday anyway," Cara said. "Whatever, Nigel's paranoia is not your problem."

Tasha laughed. "He's not paranoid. But he does like a song called 'Everyone Says I'm Paranoid.' Great song. I love all those obscure British bands he plays for us. His taste in music is one hundred percent on point."

Mikey grinned. "Yeah, but Nigel's a-hole bandmate makes me wonder about his taste in friends."

Tasha laughed. Mikey undoubtedly meant his brother, Tommy.

Cara shook her head. "Jealousy is an ugly emotion, babe."

"I mean, we're not married," Mikey said. "You could still dump me for my brother if you really want to."

Cara's face softened. "No interest." She kissed him on the lips.

Tasha felt happy for her friends, but she sure did wish she had someone of her own to kiss. Tempting herself with Rafael seemed even less appealing, but she'd already committed herself.

She handed off the beers to them, then realized they could do a little reconnaissance for her while she worked. "Hey, could you invite Rafael to sit with you? He moved here because he met Adam, and he's going to be my new roommate, so I want your opinions on him."

"Sure," Mikey said. "Introduce us."

Tasha did so, and turned to Rafael. "You mentioned knowing Adam. He'll be sitting with these two whenever he gets here."

Rafael brightened. "Yeah? I need to talk to him."

"Come join us," said Mikey. "Jenny, do you want to sit with us, or are you meeting friends?"

"Meeting friends, and they just walked in. Nice meeting you, Rafael. If you stop by my family's restaurant, Wokabout, I'll give you a free welcome to town boba."

"Wokabout?" Rafael asked, looking slightly confused.

"We're Australian. Well, now we're American. Anyway, we serve Chinese food with some down under twists. I run our boba bar."

"Nice," Rafael said. "I'll check it out as soon as I can."

Jenny smiled, then headed over to where her friends had claimed a table.

Cara and Mikey led Rafael to an empty table. Tasha smiled as they all chatted happily, then her smile dropped when her ex walked in the door with coworkers.

"I know the customer is always supposed to be right," Nigel said from her right side, "but I can kick the arsehole out if you want me to."

Tasha smiled. Somehow even swearing sounded proper in an English accent. "It's fine. I have to live with him being in town."

Nigel gave her a look that said he understood, but she was being way too nice.

"I know you want me to be angry, but I'm just not. Honestly, now that he's out of my life, I realize he shouldn't have been in it for so long."

Nigel sighed. "I just want you to be alright. What's with the stud you were talking to at the bar?"

"Future roommate. And he wanted to talk to a reference, so I told him to ask you."

"I'll tell him you're the best. Hey, you need to grab a stool? Still cramping?"

Gotta love a boss you could tell about your period issues. "Nah, I'm alright now."

"Okay. If you need a seat or a break, let me know." Nigel headed to his end of the bar and struck up a conversation with a tourist couple.

Tasha turned and watched the lovely Rafael interact with Cara and Mikey. They seemed to be having fun. She hoped he turned out to be as good as his friends claimed. She sure could stand to live with a guy she could rely on for once, even if she couldn't do anything other than be friends with him.

Maybe if she got very, very lucky, and they both got very, very drunk, there would be some making out. Hell, she might not even need that much. She could probably come just from his smile. While she had pretty much zero chance of finding the perfect relationship – one that would lead to marriage and children – she could at least drool over Rafael for a few months. She'd take what she could get.

### Chapter 2: Rafael

So far Sleepy Sands seemed pretty cool. Arriving a little after four, Raf's hunger meant his first stop had been food rather than motel. He'd turned in at the first restaurant and stuffed himself with hummus, Turkish borek, and vegetarian moussaka. The meal blew the lid off any place he'd tried in NYC, and that said something. His waiter told him the taproom opened at five, so Raf decided to go there first to see if he could catch Adam.

Yes, Adam might think Raf a weirdo after dropping entire life in the city for a potential job in Sleepy Sands, but Raf had a good feeling about this place. When Adam talked about it two weeks before, it sounded like small town paradise. At the time, small town paradise didn't appeal as much as the big city careers he and his future wife had in the fashion industry.

Then he got the late night call that upended his world, and decided fashion was too small to avoid his ex and all her hookups. Four guys who claimed to be his friends, yet slept with his fiancée? If Hunter Carlson hadn't had a post-fuck crisis of conscience, who knew how long Rafael would have been kept in the dark. Genevieve might have married him and kept on cheating. Maybe Raf should send Hunter a fruit basket for saving him from a potential divorce.

A few days after breaking it off, Adam's words about Sleepy Sands popped into Raf's mind, and he thought, why not? Cue several days of research, two days of driving, and here he was. Across a table from his new buds Cara Walker and Mikey Flannigan, listening to them argue about whether the dune climb or Empire bluff made the better hike to see the Sleeping Bear sand dunes and Lake Michigan.

"Babe, that's the longest hike in the world," Cara said. Tall with thick eyebrows and hair right on the border between light brown and dark blonde, Cara had shown herself to be a no-nonsense kind of lady. "Empire is shorter, and when you get there, it's incredible."

"But because it's longer, you get to see more on the dune climb. And you're actually out on the dune, not on a boardwalk staring at a dune." Mikey reached a hand up to toss a strand of blond hair out of his eyes. He reminded Raf of a surfer boy, which didn't really make sense in northwest Michigan. Perhaps any kind of sand brought out the surfer dudes.

"Which means whatever shoes you wear are going to get full of sand." Cara made a face.

She liked surfer boys, but not sand?

"There's still sand and dirt on the hike up to Empire bluff," said Mikey.

Whoa, surfer boy didn't like sand? What planet had Raf been sent to? Didn't people know how to live like stereotypes here?

Cara's eyes narrowed. "Not like the dune climb."

"I guess I'll have to do both and decide for myself," Raf said before they got too argumentative.

Cara lightened immediately. "Oh, yeah. You have to do both."

"I'm going to talk to Tasha's boss for a minute." Rafael headed to the bar and stopped in front of the younger black man. "I'm Rafael Santos."

"Nigel Underhill. So you're thinking of living with Tasha?"

"Yeah. I just want to make sure there's nothing I should worry about."

"Can't say there is. She's a model employee and a good mate. Friend, I mean."

Raf grinned. "I know. I lived in London for a year. You're from the north, right?"

"Manchester, yeah. We moved here when I was thirteen. I'm not as good with accents. Where are you from?"

"Brazil. I moved away at eighteen, and that's when I lived in London. But I found more work in New York, so I decided to move there."

"And now you've decided to live in Sleepy Sands? It's a great town. I wouldn't move if you paid me a million dollars."

"Everyone here seems happy. I like that. I need a change of pace. Does Tasha keep her house clean?"

"Always. I've been over a few times for dinner or parties. Compared to New York, you'll feel like you live in a palace."

Rafael laughed. "That sounds tempting. I've never lived in a place where I could spread out."

"Where did you grow up?"

"The middle of nowhere in Mato Grosso do Sul. But we moved to São Paulo when I was 13. I have experience in small towns and gigantic cities, and nothing in between."

"Same as me. Clearly I prefer the small town."

Rafael smiled. "I think I might, too."

"Welcome home, then, mate. If you ever need anything, let me know. I'm not hiring at the moment, but a few places are."

"Anyone looking for a bartender?"

"My parents, actually, at the pub. Their day guy wants to cut Mondays and Tuesdays so he can work on making jewelry. You'll find everyone here has at least one artistic outlet, and most of us sell our things."

"Adam mentioned that. I admire it."

"Speaking of Adam, he just walked in."

Raf turned and found Adam talking to Tasha. She didn't seem flirtatious, which surprised him. Adam mentioned being single when they met, and any tall man with dark brown hair, light green eyes, and a jaw that rivaled most of Raf's model compatriots would surely be worthy of a woman's interest. Maybe Tasha didn't flirt at work? She'd definitely appreciated looking at Rafael. He had to admit his ego felt stroked by getting more attention than Adam.

After thanking Nigel, Raf headed to Mikey and Cara's table, deciding not to interrupt their romantic whispering session. Adam came over with a drink.

His face split into a grin. "Rafael! Did I convince you to vacation here?"

"Not quite. You convinced me to move here."

The other man looked shocked. "So... how does that affect your fashion work?"

"I'll probably travel to NYC three or four times a year to do shoots for my friend," Raf said. "But otherwise I'll be here. I wanted to see if you were hiring a bar manager for Jasper North."

Adam's face brightened. "Definitely. I'd love to have you on board. The owner of your club couldn't stop raving about how much you did working two nights a week, and how much he wished he had you more. Jasper North won't open until February, though, so I can't pay you a full-time salary before then. I would be able to pay you for three or four hours a week to help me plan the bar setup."

That sounded cool. Being able to give input on how the club would function to make sure the bar ran efficiently? Of course, it meant Raf would have to find other work now – two days at the pub would be a good start, but he needed something on the weekends.

"Sounds awesome," Raf said. "How far along are you on the plans?"

"We've found the building and gotten the loan approved," said Adam. "Right now we're getting our ideas ready so we can meet with architects and get quotes on the renovation."

"We?"

Adam smiled. "My sister and I are co-owners."

"Nice. When will I meet her?" Raf asked. He wondered if the hiring would be official until she signed off.

"You'll see her on video chats. She's staying in Detroit until we're about to open. She didn't feel we both needed to be here, and it made sense to keep things at Jasper running smoothly until we absolutely have to hire a new manager. Plus, to reduce expenses we'd have to live together, and she said she had enough of that growing up."

Raf laughed. "I must admit, the idea of living with my sister again is not appealing."

"You have a sister? Is she in the States or still in Brazil?"

The feeling that he abandoned his family gripped Rafael, as it always did.

"My parents and sister are in Brazil. They used to love it, but things are changing politically. They don't feel safe anymore, especially with the police killing the people they're sworn to protect. I always wanted my family to come here, but they didn't feel the need. Now they do, and immigration to the States has become trickier. I need to find them jobs that will get them work permits. I thought that might be easier in a small town."

"In this small town? Definitely. It's a strong community and everyone wants to help each other out. I just moved here, and I've been welcomed into the fold like the prodigal son. You will, too." Adam glanced to where Mikey and Cara had started kissing.

The pair must have sensed the silence, because they broke their kiss and turned toward Adam and Rafael.

"Did we miss something?" Cara asked.

Adam grinned. "I told Rafael how welcoming everyone in Sleepy Sands is."

"We try," Mikey said. "Rafael, come by Old Sands Inn on Saturday or Sunday before seven, and I'll make you a 'welcome to Sleepy Sands meal' on the house."

"You're a chef?" Raf asked.

"I am," said Mikey.

"I can afford to pay for dinner, but I definitely want to taste your cooking," Raf said.

Mikey grinned. "You're between jobs and need to buy a car. Take the free dinner."

Raf smiled. "Thank you. Is this what the small town community feeling is all about?"

"Absolutely," Adam said. "My parents loved the supportiveness of Sleepy Sands. They wanted to retire up here."

"Wanted, past tense?" Rafael asked.

Adam looked sad. "They died six months ago. That's why I decided to open a new club in Sleepy Sands. I thought if they couldn't live here, then I wanted to."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Rafael said. "That sounds like a good way to honor them."

"Perhaps. They always said if I wanted to make them proud I should marry a woman I was crazy in love with. They were absolutely devoted to each other. What about you? Are your parents together? Still in love?"

Raf shrugged. "Still together, and they seem to be in love. They didn't have a lot of choices since they were raised in a smaller town than this. But they liked each other, and over the years that developed into a stronger love. I think losing children made them rely on each other."

"Children plural?" Cara asked sympathetically.

"Miscarriages." And his little brother, but he didn't want to get into that. Tragedy and taprooms didn't mix. "I'm going to grab another beer. Does anyone want one?"

"I'll take a Dune Brew," said Mikey. "Tell Tash to put it on our tab."

Cara shook her head. "I need another hour to metabolize."

"Can you carry three at once?" Adam asked.

Rafael grinned crookedly. "I'm a bartender. What do you think?"

Adam grinned back. "Dune Brew. On my tab. Actually, put yours on my tab, too. Consider it a perk of employment."

Raf had the feeling he would really love working with Adam. The guy was just so thoroughly nice. Everyone he'd met in Sleepy Sands took niceness to a new level. It almost came across as creepy. The small town he grew up in had lots of unhappy people, and they tried to ruin the kids' fun. People in Sleepy Sands seemed to have entered a town-wide pact to make everyone's life perfect. Compared to life in the fashion industry, he'd walked into paradise.

Rafael walked up to Tasha and ordered.

"I'll help you take the third one over. Nigel thinks I need to sit down and rest."

"Are you sick?" he asked. If so, she'd need a few days before dealing with him moving in.

Tasha's lips quirked. "Just womanly troubles."

He couldn't help laughing. "No cure for that, sadly."

"No, but it does mean my boss lets me take another break, so I'm not complaining."

Good. He really wanted to talk to her more. She fascinated him, and of course he'd like to get to know the person he'd be living with. When they got settled at Cara, Mikey, and Adam's table, Tasha turned to him.

"How late are you staying tonight?" she asked.

Raf shrugged. "How late are you open?"

"Eleven," said Tasha.

He nodded. "That sounds good."

"Why don't you just come home with me so you don't have to worry about paying for a hotel?" she asked.

That would certainly be nice. "Do you need to stay after eleven to close up?"

She made a wry face. "Nigel probably doesn't want me to strain myself."

"Coming home with you would be convenient, so thank you for offering," Raf said. "I'd love to be able to get my things moved in tomorrow. Do you work Fridays?"

"I do. But there's a spare key at the house, so you'll be able to go out and come back. We don't have a moving company in town, but I'll leave you a number for the temp agency, and they can get you someone to help for the day."

"No need. I'll come over," Adam said.

Mikey nodded. "Yeah, I'm off. With three of us it'll get done fast. But we're drinking all the beer in your fridge, Tash."

She grinned. "I can always get more. Perks of working at a brewery."

"If you two are sure, I'll buy you dinner and drinks after," Rafael said to the men. They nodded.

"You cool with me not being able to do dinner tomorrow, sweets?" Mikey asked Cara.

"Yeah. I'll grab takeout, and Tasha and I can go to Heather's earlier."

"Where are we getting takeout from?" Tasha asked eagerly.

Rafael grinned. Tasha had so much enthusiasm that it spread to those around her. Hell, with a face that gorgeous, she already spread joy. Her medium brown, gently waving hair framed a cutely heart-shaped face with pretty hazel eyes and thin but well-formed lips. Her innocence and sweetness made her seem like the girl next door, but no girl Raf ever lived near looked that beautiful.

"Le Sable," Cara said. "We're treating ourselves because you have a new roommate to split the bills with."

"Hmm, maybe I want to do dinner with the girls," Mikey teased. He looked at Adam. "I cannot believe you aren't going there until you open the businesses."

Adam spread his hands. "I know. But I promised my brother and sister my first time would be with them. So I wait."

"What is Le Sable?" Rafael asked.

"The posh French restaurant that does très gourmet food, but has more affordable takeaway options," said Cara.

"And they're amazing," Mikey said. "Adam, you're a better brother than I am."

Rafael had to admit Adam was a better brother than him, too. As much as he'd do anything to get Gabriela and his parents to Sleepy Sands, he wouldn't forego pleasures until they arrived. Life should be lived whole-heartedly, no holding back.

Tasha chatted with the group for twenty minutes, and Raf found he'd started down the path of crushing on her. She had a smirky little half-smile that looked so sexy he wanted to kiss it off. Yet she also had a comforting grin which warmed him to the core. Obviously she cared deeply for her friends, even Adam, who she'd only met the month before. She seemed to have no qualms about opening her house and life up to Rafael. In no version of his immediate future could he try to start a new relationship, so meeting Tasha had come at absolutely the wrong time. Still, he could be friends with her, and maybe some day when he'd recovered from things with Genevieve, he'd be ready to give things with Tasha a shot.

After she went back to work Raf felt disappointed until Adam started talking about the plans for Jasper North. When Nigel rang a bell at 10:30 for last call and closing out accounts, Raf couldn't believe how fast time had flown by.

Once Tasha finished up, he followed her into the parking lot, got into the moving truck, and pulled up behind Tasha's SUV. Driving out of the lot, she left the main road and headed down a winding street with more trees than houses. She turned right onto a street that seemed more house-heavy before pulling into a wide driveway. Her house looked like a typical subdivision house, but the front had exquisite landscaping. There seemed to be room in the driveway for the moving van, so he pulled in next to her. When he got his overnight bag ready and followed her into the house, she showed him around.

"I'll be up early, but feel free to sleep in," she said. "For breakfast you can have whatever's in the kitchen, or head to Old Sands Inn for some deliciousness."

"Is there a coffee shop around?"

"Not yet. Jenny that you met is working to get one open, so hopefully next year."

"Nice. She really has that entrepreneurial go-getter personality. Anyway, thanks for getting me settled, and thanks for letting me come over tonight. After two nights in motels, another one didn't sound appealing."

"No problem. I think we're going to do very well together, Rafael Santos."

"I think so, too, Tasha Yancey."

Once he got into bed he stared at the ceiling and reflected on how fast his life had started moving. Two weeks ago he had a completely different future mapped out. Now he'd be finding new jobs, new friends, and would settle into this beautiful, spacious home with its beautiful, special owner. Tasha intrigued him exponentially more every minute he spent with her. She seemed pure, and he felt like being friends with her could make him whole again.

Honestly, discovering Genevieve cheated on him had been a wake up call. He'd thought he loved her, but spending three days driving with nothing to do but analyze his previous relationship had made him realize he and Genevieve hadn't had a particularly strong or ideal relationship. He now believed breaking up with her had been for the best. Hopefully over the next few months he'd heal and be able to start a healthier relationship.

Life being life, of course he'd meet someone who interested him right now when he didn't feel ready. And naturally that someone would be his roommate, making potential dating or fooling around fraught with difficulty. Closing his eyes, he sighed. No need to be bitter. He didn't want to think too far into the future, anyway. For now he wanted to focus on becoming friends with Tasha and settling into Sleepy Sands. He felt truly glad he'd moved to this little town where he could feel a spirit of warmth and healing from everyone he met. Whatever happened next, he would be ready for it.

At least, he hoped he would.

### Chapter 3: Tasha

Tasha could hear the shower turn on as she changed into clothes Friday. Apparently Rafael woke up early. The thought of him naked and rubbing his body almost overwhelmed her brain. Who wanted to get horny before going to work? She carried on with her morning routine, then entered the hallway to go down to the kitchen. The main bathroom door opened, and out stepped Rafael with her apparently skimpy guest towel wrapped around his waist.

All. That. Hot. Man. Holy shit. The guy had a body that went on for days. Not overdone with the arms, but fully sculpted musculature. His abs looked like they could be used if her washing machine ever broke, and he had that V cut at his hips that Tasha always felt stood for 'virile.' Her jaw may or may not have been down on the floor after perusing his body.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, if a tad smugly. "You off to work?"

"Breakfast and coffee first."

"Let me throw on some clothes, and I'll join you."

"I'll make enough for two cups then."

Tasha had the coffeemaker going and her breakfast assembled when Rafael walked into the kitchen. He gave off a relaxed vibe, as though mornings were no big deal, and he couldn't wait for the day to begin. Tasha didn't mind mornings, but she still felt a little out of it until she'd had her coffee.

"You seem like you don't even need caffeine to get going," she noted.

"I can go without it if need be. But I like to get that extra boost. What's on your agenda today?"

"Brewing a new batch of pale. Checking on the batches being conditioned. Tasting Nigel's experiments to see what our next seasonal will be."

"He's the brewmaster as well as the owner?"

"He's Head Brewmaster, and he oversees the mash and boil. Rich has the title of Brewmaster, and he's the fermentation guru. I help with everything, so if one of them is gone, I'll spearhead their process."

"Have you created styles before?"

"I made one that we used as a seasonal. Rich also made a seasonal. Rich and I's other experiments haven't proven as popular as Nigel's. Nigel has a gift. He has a setup at home, so he's always tinkering. My home system is for making wines rather than beers. I'm also working on mead and cider recipes."

"Can you sell those at the brewery?"

"Nigel got approved for a small winery license and invested in equipment so we can make both. We have a number of people who hang out in the taproom with friends but don't like beer. They said mead and cider would be great alternatives. Even though we have nearby wineries that make both, we feel like there's enough space in the market for us to branch out."

"Nice. I tried mead once at a Renaissance faire, and I loved it. I'm also a big fan of hard cider. You make them here?"

"I do, and I make flower and fruit wines. Nigel and I have talked for a few years about some day being able to hire someone for the sole purpose of preparing flowers and fruits to make small batches of wine from. But that can only happen when we expand our beer sales."

"Do you have room in the brewery?"

"Definitely. The building was made in the fifties to be a factory and warehouse that manufactured farming equipment."

"That whole complex is yours?"

"Yup."

"I guess that makes sense. The taproom is enormous."

"It is, but we're pretty close to capacity every week. We're going to have to open another night eventually. Unfortunately, that would require hiring people as servers, so it would make more sense to be open four or five days a week. There's not enough business for that yet. We think when the college opens there will be, but that's a ways off."

"College?" Raf looked confused.

"The University of Northwest Michigan is opening in three years. They just bought the land here in Sleepy Sands and will start construction next year. It'll be a fairly large school, so it'll mean a big boost to the local economy and population. For us, that means more taproom business."

"And it'll help Adam's club stay in business, too."

Tasha nodded. "Definitely. Their plan is to be open in three years. Right now the next big step for the brewery is hiring a sales director, and Nigel thinks he can afford someone a year from now."

"Increasing sales will mean hiring more workers. So you might get your flower person after all."

"Eventually. Crap, I need to dash. Have a good first day in Sleepy Sands!"

"Thanks. Have a good every day in Sleepy Sands."

Tasha grinned.

Work flew by, and Tasha had just walked out the door toward her car when Cara called about the menu choices for takeout. Tasha picked French onion soup with hearty potatoes, a wild greens salad with strawberry, pecans, and goat cheese, and a side order of ratatouille. Almond cake with lemon icing sounded like the perfect way to finish the meal, so she asked for that, too. Le Sable's dessert sizes were perfect – enough to get the taste of the food without packing on a ton of calories.

Tasha arrived at Heather's apartment before the food, so she mixed up three margaritas. Once Cara arrived, the trio dug in to both food and drink, chatting about their day and their upcoming plans. As they finished clearing the food away, Cara asked Heather to bring out her laptop.

"Are we shopping?" Tasha asked.

Cara grinned wickedly. "Kind of. We're looking for Rafael's modeling pictures."

A few minutes later all three stared at the screen with possible drool involved. Tasha couldn't speak for the other ladies because she couldn't tear her eyes away from Rafael wearing maroon boxer briefs while taking off a charcoal grey button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Dress shirt plus underwear equaled all of the fantasies.

"He should model only underwear. Do you think they stuffed it?" Cara asked, awed.

"I distinctly noticed a bulge last night," Tasha said.

Heather laughed. "So you were looking down there?"

"I'm only human."

"You need to get that in you," said Cara. "That's a show-er, and if it's also a grow-er, you may not be able to walk for a week."

"He may be bigger than Adam, and Adam has more filling than apple pie," Heather said.

"Mikey's big, too," Cara said defensively. "But this is almost too grotesquely big for a fashion spread. Are you selling underwear, or are you selling sausage?"

"Let's see some other pics," Tasha said. "If I stare at his crotch any longer, I'm liable to jump on it when I get home tonight."

"Girl, ride it," said Cara.

Heather nodded. "A guy like that is too hot to stay single, and if you don't want to hear other girls screaming at night, you need to be the one he's with."

"First off, he's my roommate. If we hook up and things turn awkward that would be awful. Secondly, he's healing after a bad breakup. He's not ready for anything new."

"Oh," Heather said. "So is he here to stay, or is he just here to recover for a few months?"

"His close friend thinks a few months only," Tasha said. "Which means there's no future with me. I might get a goodbye screw before he goes back to the New York glam life, but he might not even be interested in that. I feel like he would get bored with me quickly. He's used to world famous models with iconic faces and size zero bodies."

Cara snorted. "Yeah, I mean, being a size six means you're completely unattractive to him. So huge."

Tasha glared at Cara. "I know I'm not huge. I'm just saying, if his last girlfriend was a model, he may not be used to things like thighs."

"Was his last girlfriend a model?" Heather asked.

"I don't know, actually. She works in the fashion industry." Tasha shrugged.

"That doesn't mean model," Heather pointed out. "You should ask."

"I don't think it matters," Cara said. "When you sat down at the table last night, he acted like he couldn't get enough of you. He's interested in both those thighs and what's between them."

Could that be true? She hadn't noticed any interest from him.

"Was my, uh, interest just as obvious?" Tasha asked.

Cara snorted. "You mean, could we tell you wanted to push him down on the table and sit on his face? Yeah, it was a little bit noticeable."

Heather laughed. "Cara, stop. I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"Fine, it wasn't," Cara said. "I don't think he noticed. Just like you weren't reading his signals."

That reassured her. She didn't want poor Rafael to think she only cared about sexing him up. Mostly she wanted to be his friend.

"I don't know if he would really be interested in me in the long run," Tasha said. "The first time you see someone attractive you'll always eye fuck them. That doesn't mean you're looking for an actual relationship."

Cara lifted an eyebrow. "Uh, usually when I see someone attractive I become even more attracted to them as time goes on. I spend a lot of time seeing Mikey naked, and yet there are still times I just have to sit back and take a break from all the hot."

Heather made a face. "I really don't want to think about my brother naked, thank you."

"You should be glad your brother started dating one of your best friends," Cara said. "Imagine if he started bringing home your least favorite person to family dinners."

"True. So I should be thanking you for finding my brother attractive?" Heather teased.  
"Totally. I did you a solid," said Cara. "And Tasha could have found Tommy attractive to cover that base, but nooooooo. She let you down."

Tasha laughed. "I think Tommy is attractive, but he's not my type."

Heather's mouth curled. "But Rafael the male model is?"

Tasha nodded. "So much."

"Do him, do him, do him," chanted Cara.

"I'm not going to hit on him. I'm his landlady."

"Then you need to get him horny outside of the house so he makes the first move," Cara said. "I know! We can go out to some fancy bar and get all dolled up. We'll buy new dresses, I'll do our makeup, and we'll blow Mikey, Adam, and Rafael away."

Cara did makeup professionally, so that would be a real bonus. Tasha hadn't dressed up and gone out since the Harvest festival last September. It would be nice to put on a pretty dress. Maybe she could make an appointment at Auntie Jade's and have her hair put up. Not for the purpose of getting Rafael into bed. Just to be able to look nice and have a fun night out with her friends.

"I would love to go out and look fancy," she said. "But I am not doing it to tempt Rafael. I'm doing it because it sounds like fun."

"We'd be doing it to scope out the competition for Adam's club," said Heather. "Let me call Adam."

A few minutes later the men had agreed that looking fancy and checking out the best bar nearby needed to happen. Heather grabbed her laptop and went to a clothing website the girls all loved. They ooh'd and aah'd over options and each picked a different dress to buy. By that time they were on their second margaritas.

"You're both going to look so pretty." Heather sighed.

"Pretty enough to convince Mikey it's time to propose?" asked Cara. "We waited to pay off our student loans, and I get that. Johnson and Wales wasn't cheap, but it was the best place for us. Now we finally are free and clear, plus have the money saved for the wedding. We're even getting started on the baby fund. I think it's time to officially get engaged, but I don't want to bring it up and have him say he isn't ready."

"When's the last time you talked about getting married?" Tasha asked.

"In April when we got our quarterly report for our mutual funds. I said we seemed to be on top of our investment goals, so maybe we should do the whole rings, photos, and wedding planning thing. He looked at me and said, 'I want to get engaged the proper way. I want to surprise you.' And I mean, if he wants to do the guy thing and create some elaborate proposal, who am I to rain on his parade?"

"Has he talked to you about it?" Tasha asked Heather.

Heather shook his head. "I don't think he will. He knows my loyalty is to Cara."

Cara patted her knee. "Likewise. I mean, I realize he had to wait a few weeks after that to make it a surprise, but I feel like two months is long enough. Enough with the boy pride, let's just fucking do this."

"I'd totally feel that way if I had a guy dragging his feet," said Heather. "I'd rather discuss things as a way of getting engaged than make some big production."

"Do you think Adam might be the one?' Tasha asked.

"I don't know," Heather said noncommittally. "Which probably means no. I like him a lot. He's a great guy, and he got all the blessings the looks department had to give out. But I don't feel drawn to Adam like I did to Manesh. I still feel that pull. I don't think I'll ever get over Manesh. He was my first love, and he just... completed me."

"The two of you were perfect together, but let's not forget he chose to continue traveling through India instead of coming home to you," Cara said.

Heather deflated. "He did ask if I wanted to join him out there. But the idea of picking up odd jobs when I didn't know Hindi seemed unrealistic. And I'm just not a tropical climate person. I make ice sculptures, for goodness sake. My idea of a fun vacation is going to the ice hotel in Sweden."

"That was fun," Tasha said. "You should have come, Cara."

"And frozen to death? No thanks. Michigan is plenty cold already."

Tasha had gotten awfully cold on that vacation. But the idea of a hotel that got built out of ice every winter and only lasted one season caught her imagination. Heather wanted a companion, Tasha could afford to go. She couldn't not go at that point. Curiosity plus ability equaled compulsion in Tasha's book. Granted, that formula had gotten her into some quirky sexual situations over the years, but it made for great vacations.

The trio talked well into the night, transitioning between each conversation topic by looking at Rafael's modeling shots. A couple with swim briefs made Tasha's mouth wet (okay, and other parts), and the ones of his face revealed that he looked different from every angle. She decided she might need to do some serious staring to see all those angles for herself.

After sobering up enough to drive home, Tasha pulled into her driveway right as an SUV she didn't recognize stopped at the curb. For a second she felt a stab of fear, an alien feeling after living in Sleepy Sands for so long. As she looked into the window she saw Adam at the wheel and Rafael getting out of the passenger seat. Tasha waved at Adam, who waved back, then drove off to his own house.

"Evening, stranger," she said to Rafael.

He grinned. "Did you have fun with the girls?"

They reached the door and she unlocked it. "I did. Did you have fun with the boys?"

"Definitely." He shut the door behind Tasha and locked it. "Or do you not lock it?"

"Most people lock their doors here. The town has almost no crime, but we get lots of people passing through. Better safe than sorry."

"I agree. Hey, could I walk to the grocery store? Or will I need to get a taxi?"

"I can take you. I need to go anyway. Do you want to go tomorrow?"

"Yes. That would be awesome. Thank you. Once I have my job situation sorted out I can look for a car."

"No problem. Let me know whenever you want to run errands before that. I don't mind helping you get set up."

He grinned. "You're a star."

"That's just the way people are here. Always willing to help each other out."

His grin faded. "I've never really been in that environment before. In the town I was raised some people helped, but some people were out for themselves. Then in São Paulo we had no sense of community. Once I got into fashion, I worked with people over and over again, but no one wanted to help. The attitude seemed to be 'you watch your own back, and if you pull your weight, you'll get rehired.' No one wanted to go out on a limb for anyone else. If you had questions, you had to find answers, because nobody would hold your hand. I wasn't any better about helping new people, though. Now that I'm not part of it every day I realize just how cutthroat we were."

"Do you miss it?"

"Not really. I miss the challenge of creating a perfect shot as a photographer, but I can do that here. As far as being a model, what's to miss? Someone telling me my nose isn't symmetrical enough, so I should look slightly left?"

Tasha scoffed. "Someone complained about your face?"

"Stylists and photographers are always complaining about my face and body. You'd think I'm the bane of their existence."

"But you're so... perfect."

Rafael laughed. "You're sweet. I know I'm not, because I've had my flaws listed in detail. But people still hire me to show off their product, so I can't be too hideous." He winked.

Her stomach somersaulted. Was that a flirtatious wink? Did he actually find her attractive? She wondered if she should flirt back. Should she help him to forget his bad relationship and have crazy fun sex instead? Or should she maintain a distance and help him heal? What she wanted and what she felt she should do couldn't be farther apart. Digging deep, she opted to stick with friendly roommate.

"Well, people here won't be criticizing you like that. So get used to a kinder, gentler existence."

A genuine smile crossed his face. "I really look forward to that."

Time to go to bed before she broke down and propositioned him. "I'll see you in the morning. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

She headed upstairs and closed her bedroom door so she could change. Just a few yards away Rafael would be taking off his clothes, revealing a body that far surpassed any partner she'd ever been with. Damn. She felt like fanning herself. Undoubtedly that urge would come over her every night Rafael stayed in the house. The guy should come with a warning label: 'Product has addictive ingredients. Use with caution.'

Never had temptation been quite so... tempting.

And never had her panties been quite so wet.

### Chapter 4: Rafael

Rafael called the pub Saturday after grocery shopping. The owner, Frank Underhill, requested an interview. On Monday Rafael dressed in black slacks, a cornflower blue button down, and a butter yellow tie. Since he didn't want to get sweaty he paid for a lift to the pub. Frank and his wife, Emma, brought Raf into their back room.

"You look very stylish," Emma said. "That makes sense with your fashion background."

Damn, news spread fast. "Thanks. Is there a uniform here?"

"Wear clothes," Frank said. "Shirt and shoes are necessary. We keep the air conditioning going in summer, but we try not to make it too cold because Emma would kill me. Apparently most places adjust the temperature to be comfortable for men rather than women. So you may want to wear short sleeves."

Rafael grinned. "Smashing the patriarchy one cocktail at a time?"

They both laughed.

"I like you, Rafael," said Emma. "Tell me about your work as a bartender. Did you do it between fashion jobs?"

"I worked every Friday and Saturday night because it meant steady employment. Fashion can be feast or famine. Three shoots in one week, and then nothing for another three weeks. I didn't feel the need to party on the weekends, and working at the club gave me plenty of social interaction."

"Adam mentioned you became the assistant bar manager there."

Confusion crossed his face. "You talked to Adam?"

"He called when he found out you had applied," Frank said. "He wanted to put in a good word."

Wow. Adam had really gone above and beyond.

"People will expect you to be super friendly. Is that your work persona?" Frank asked.

"Absolutely," Rafael said. "I enjoy bar tending, and I enjoy meeting people and talking to them. I'm here to make their day a little better."

The Underhills nodded appreciatively. Frank spoke first.

"The hours are 10:45 to 7:00 with a half hour break. You can come in early and the cook will whip up brunch for you, or they can make you something when you have your break at 3:00. Once your shift ends, and the days you're not working, we comp three meals and three alcoholic drinks a week."

That seemed extremely generous. When they told him the salary, he realized the Underhills ran a class act.

Emma smiled. "We offer a health care plan to part-time workers, so if you decide you want the job, I'll get you that information."

"If I decide I want the job?" he echoed dumbly.

"Yes. You're in if you want it," she said. "You've impressed us both, and of course Tasha is such a dear. She wouldn't have rented a room to you if she didn't trust you."

Rafael grinned. "I think I'm going to really love working for you two. When do I start?"

They grinned back.

"If you could come tomorrow for training, that would be great," Frank said.

"Will do."

"Do you have a car?" Emma asked.

"Not yet. But once I get my first paystub I should be able to get something."

"We'll drop you off at Tasha's," she said. "Today's our day off. We just came in for the interview."

"You don't have to do that," Raf said.

Emma smiled. "It's no problem. Let me grab your benefits paperwork."

The ridiculously nice Underhills took him home and said they'd see him the next day. He still needed weekend work, so he called every bar within a half hour radius. Two places were hiring. He emailed his resume straight away. Both got back to him that afternoon requesting interviews.

He still had an hour before he needed to make dinner, so he took photographs of Tasha's yard. She'd planted gardens in front and back, and the beauty astonished him. She had an excellent eye for color and placement. It made her paintings, which were primarily landscapes, really stand out. When she showed him around Thursday night, he asked which paintings she'd done, and he'd loved every one of them.

After the photography session Rafael felt totally relaxed. His professional work was fashion related, but on the side he also enjoyed portraiture and landscapes. Now that he would rarely do anything fashion related, he'd be able to focus on taking artistic pictures.

As he started getting dinner ready, he thought about how well he and Tasha fit together. Saturday morning they'd done the grocery store, then made sandwiches for lunch. For dinner they went to Old Sands Inn so Raf could get his welcome meal from Mikey. The food had been ridiculously good. Afterward they headed to the local music club to see Cara's brother Tom play. Tom's songs had an old country flair, and Rafael enjoyed all of them. Two other bands played, all with crazy amounts of talent.

Sunday Tasha made a big breakfast for them. In the afternoon Raf called his parents and sister, telling them about his new home. Then he spent a few hours getting boxes unpacked and setting up his things in the bedroom, bathroom and basement while Tasha painted. When Rafael offered to make dinner so she could continue, she'd eagerly taken him up on it. Post-dinner neither of them felt like leaving the house, so they decided to watch a movie.

He discovered they both loved comedies, and she owned several he hadn't seen. She said they had a lot of movie nights in their future. He liked that – their future. They watched Noises Off, and he doubted he'd laughed that hard in years. She asked if he saw many plays in New York, and he mentioned his favorites. Then she told him about Sleepy Sands' community theater, which probably included people as talented as the musicians. No one did things halfway in Sleepy Sands, it seemed.

"Evening," Tasha said, jerking Rafael out of memories and into Mondayland. He hadn't heard her come into the house.

"Hey. I'm making Moqueca de Camarão. It's a stew with shrimp and vegetables. I wasn't sure if you wanted white rice or brown rice, so I made white."

"I like both," she said. "Smells delicious. Thanks for making enough for me. I usually spend Monday dinner at my mom's in Traverse City, but she and my stepdad are on vacation."

"No problem. I won't be able to make dinner tomorrow. It's my first day of my new job at the pub."

"Congratulations! I knew the Underhills would love you. And I won't be home anyway. Tuesdays I go to my dad and stepmom's, also in Traverse City."

He smiled. "That's great you see your parents every week. I have two interviews Wednesday, so I think I'll rent a car for the day. Is there somewhere in Sleepy Sands I can do that?"

"Sadly, no. But you can drop me off at work and use my car for the day. I can get a ride home if your interview is later."

"I should be done in time to pick you up. Are you sure you don't mind me driving your car?"

Tasha shook her head. "It's not some classic I keep in pristine condition. It's just a car. You definitely need one of your own to get around here, as we don't have much in the way of public transport. Stop by Sleepy Sands Bank and Trust on Wednesday, and go in to see Cassie, the loan officer. Tell her you want to get a car loan, and she'll tell you what you're pre-approved for. It should only take fifteen minutes."

"Really? That seems easy. I don't suppose there's a used car place in town?"

"Surprisingly, no, but Traverse City is half an hour away with new and used places."

"Do you like your Nissan?" he asked.

"I love my Rogue. I was tempted by the Murano, but I wanted slightly better gas mileage rather than more engine power. With the winters up here most people drive SUV's. Since you're fairly tall, you may find the Murano a little more roomy."

"I'll check it out online. Did you get the lease from your lawyer?"

She smiled. "Yes, Anisa emailed it this afternoon. I just need to print it out so we can sign it, then you can send the money. I had her put today's date as the start, so rent will be due on the 20th every month."

"Great! We'll do that after dinner. And Wednesday I can see how I like your Rogue. Food's ready."

He filled bowls with the stew and rice, then made up small plates with the fresh cucumber salad he'd thrown together.

"This looks amazing," Tasha said.

"Thanks." He wanted to add, 'You look amazing,' but thought that might not be appropriate. Tasha had on bootcut navy pants and a tight polo shirt with wide green and blue stripes and a white collar. Paired with her black watch plaid shoes and her hair in a messy uplift, she seemed like a sexy punk playing at being preppy.

As she leaned forward to eat, her necklace popped out. He'd noticed her wearing it every day, even Sunday when she wore lounge clothes. A copper artist palette with stylized brushes, it hung from a silver chain. Sometimes she touched it and moved the pendant back and forth along the chain. She clearly loved it. He wondered if there was a story attached, and was about to ask when she spoke.

"What do you want to do after dinner?"

His eyes moved to her face. "I don't have anything planned."

"Have you been to the dunes yet?"

"No, and I want to."

"We'll go up the scenic drive and park so we can walk onto the dunes," she said. "It's a great place to watch the sun set."

"That sounds perfect. I'll bring my camera."

"Definitely. I'll bring mine, too."

Tasha said she loved the food, and he felt satisfied. He wanted to do nice things for her after all the nice things she'd done for him. Letting him use her car? She had such a generous spirit. He got very lucky meeting her and becoming her roommate.

During the drive to the dunes Raf got a view of Glen Lake on his right. When they passed the lake and got to the scenic drive entrance, they went up an inclining road surrounded by gorgeous trees. Passing a few turn-ins, they finally pulled into a parking area. Getting out of the car he found a boardwalk going out onto the dune.

Tasha waved forward. "It's your first time, so feel free to explore."

He went down the boardwalk, walking out onto the observation deck. They both took lots of pictures and wandered around all the areas they were allowed to go. They talked sometimes, and at others focused on their search for the perfect shot. When the sun started dropping he found a sandy spot by a little hillock and sat down next to Tasha to take pictures of the sun over Lake Michigan.

They talked about other beautiful places they'd been. She mentioned the ice hotel in Sweden, which he'd heard of but never been to. He'd been all over the world since becoming a model and photographer, and she sounded impressed by his travels. She'd been to more spots in America than he had. Other than the northeast and California, Raf hadn't seen much of the country he'd become a citizen of. The trip out to Sleepy Sands had been his first road trip, and he'd enjoyed all the different views along the way.

As the sun fell and colors splashed across the sky, he had a hard time thinking of more beautiful places than the one he was in. Something about Sleeping Bear Dunes felt magical, and as the ball of fire disappeared he suddenly felt that he would truly be happy there. He looked up and wished on the first star he saw that he could spend the rest of his life being friends with Tasha and living in Sleepy Sands.

On the drive back they talked about nothing in particular, but he had a lot of fun doing it. At home he went crazy organizing the photos and posting them on Instagram and Flickr. His best friend, Scout, happened to be online. They chatted until it was time for Scout to go to bed so he could wake up 'male model beautiful.' Raf laughed.

He kind of missed having a camera pulling out his best looks, but being told in harsh terms about his imperfections he could live without. Some photographers got off on criticizing their subjects, which required a special kind of negativity. Sometimes it felt like there were more toxic people in the fashion community than nice ones, but at least the nice ones had become good friends. He'd miss them. He just wouldn't miss being immersed in that life every single day.

Tuesday Rafael started learning his new duties. The day bartender did most of the training, but Frank and Emma dropped by at various times. Emma asked if there were any specialty drinks he made that he wanted added to their system.

"I do have six cocktails I make that are kind of unusual."

"Great," she said cheerily. "When you get a chance, write them down, and I'll figure out what the price will be. We can print up a flier advertising them as our new Monday and Tuesday lunch and happy hour specials. It'll get people to come in."

"I'd love that."

By the time his shift ended Raf had met lots of customers and felt well-trained. He'd have two more days of training next week, then he'd be flying solo. Frank and Emma were in the office when he clocked out. They offered him a ride home, and he couldn't say no.

Emma held up a box. "Full English breakfast. I figured since you lived in London, you'd appreciate it."

"That's fantastic," Rafael said. "I wasn't looking forward to making dinner since I've been on my feet all day. Thank you."

"Thank you for being so eager to learn," Frank said. "The locals today all mentioned how much they enjoyed talking to you."

"Is everyone in Sleepy Sands nice?" Raf asked.

The Underhills laughed.

"I can think of four people I'm not super fond of," Frank said.

Raf snorted. "In the fashion world, I can think of forty."

"That's why you're here instead of there now," Emma said.

When Raf entered the house Tasha was still at her dad's, so he ate his full English (fricking delicious), and learned all about the SUV choices available to him. Car buying felt a little overwhelming. He decided he'd start at the Nissan dealer, and if he liked the Murano, he wouldn't have to look anywhere else.

Wednesday he got up early and dressed in different interview gear (charcoal grey pants, jewel green shirt, and black tie). Tasha directed him through the drive to the brewery. He'd started learning his way around Sleepy Sands, and going back to the house he didn't have any problems. When he headed to the interview he had to turn on his GPS since the bar was in Traverse City.

It seemed like a big enough city to have lots of shopping and eating choices, and he liked the outside of the bar. The inside also had a nice vibe. He felt the interview went well. They wanted someone to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. They still had two more people to interview, so Rafael expressed his interest and headed back to Sleepy Sands.

Mikey and Adam had told him all about the Sleepy Sands restaurants on Friday. He wanted to try everything. So far he'd done Lebanese with Mediterranean Eats and American at Old Sands Inn. For lunch he could do Mexican, Ethiopian, Italian, Thai, Caribbean, Indian, German, Chinese, or two more American places (cheap and wholesome at the Sleepy Café, or upscale at By the Lake, the restaurant in the chic resort, By the Sands). He thought about what food had a tendency to spill, then decided to do German.

After two sausages, sauerkraut, German potato salad, and a side of spaetzle had gone into his happy belly, he felt better about both the state of the world and his decision to move. If all the food in Sleepy Sands tasted this good he'd be a happy man. A happy man who desperately needed to go to the gym, but a happy man nonetheless.

He had until 4:00 for the afternoon interview, so he headed over to the bank to see about the car loan. Cassie turned out to be a friendly blonde who took him into her office, looked up a few things on her computer, and gave him a figure well above what he wanted to spend on a car. He asked what he needed to do, and she printed out a letter he could take to the dealership.

"My cell phone number is on there. If you go over the weekend, they can call me and I'll set things up. I've worked with pretty much all the dealerships, so it should be easy."

"I don't want to interrupt your weekend."

Cassie swiped her hand. "My weekends aren't that exciting. I proposed to my girlfriend last month, so now my life is either wedding planning or avoiding wedding planning."

"Congratulations. Hopefully you'll have the world's easiest wedding."

"I'm pretty sure no, it won't be, so yes, I do want you to call me this weekend and tell me you're getting a pimp new car."

He laughed. "You're definitely the coolest loan officer I've ever talked to."

She got a really focused look on her face. "Right?"

Rafael laughed again. Why be humble when you were awesome?

After leaving Cassie, Raf headed home and caught up on Facebook. His friends seemed to think he'd lost his mind moving to a small town, and he assured them he loved it.

The interview in the afternoon lay in the south in a little town called Benzonia. He'd been advised to try the Cherry Cafe in Beulah, the town connected to Benzonia's northern side. The restaurant made salad with dried cherries in it and several other cherry related dishes. Raf noted their sign as he drove by and decided if his interview went late he'd stop and get takeout.

The interview seemed to go well, and he liked the bar. They had a fair amount of tourists, but they served mostly regulars. The manager gave him a full tour of the place, asking Raf smart questions. They'd interviewed everyone else and would make a decision Thursday. Since they only wanted someone for Friday and Saturday, Raf would rather take this job if offered. He liked having Sundays to hang out with Tasha. They could go on adventures Sundays. Or they could just laze around the house. But either way, they could be together.

He called her when he got to the Cherry Cafe. She seemed excited to be able to get dinner from there. Once the food came out he drove to the brewery and picked her up. The food turned out to be delicious. They talked about their favorite foods and what kinds of things they liked to cook, and stayed at the table chatting well into the evening. Pulling out their laptops, they compared recipes, making meal plans for the next couple weeks. Part of their plan included restaurants he wanted to try.

Rafael looked at the schedule and realized he and Tasha weren't even bothering to think of other people joining them. Their plans were being together. He liked that a lot. Maybe he should be worried about getting so close to her when he needed to recover from his last relationship, but being with Tasha felt easy, and it felt healing. He couldn't see the purpose of stressing himself out over something that made him happy. For now he would simply enjoy being with her, and if things went too far too fast, he'd deal with it.

On Thursday Adam picked Rafael up so they could go to his place and work on club planning. Adam video called his sister Sarah, and the three of them looked at the plans sketched up for the architect. Rafael made several suggestions, and after a few hours of playing with things, they had an all new sketch. Adam asked Rafael if he'd be interested in meeting with potential architects. Raf said yes, loving that he got to be involved with getting the club up and running.

"Now we just need to sort out the gym," Adam said.

"Gym?" asked Raf.

"It's doubtful the club will make enough to provide full-time salaries for both Sarah and I on top of everyone else. We thought we might supplement our income by working part-time at someone's gym. I'm a personal trainer and she teaches wushu. We found out there are no gyms in Sleepy Sands, and figured there would be enough business to support one. At the point that we're doing this risky thing opening one business, we may as well shoot for the moon and open two, right? In retrospect it's a little crazy, but the gym will be the safer investment. The club will be for our hearts."

"That makes sense," Rafael said. "I could sure use a gym in town with as much as I've been eating since coming here."

Adam laughed. "Speaking of food, I'm meeting Heather at the Ethiopian place. Want to come with and then we can head to the taproom together?"

Adam had been dating Heather Flannigan for a few weeks, and Raf knew she was close friends with Tasha and Cara. He worried about feeling like a third wheel, but Adam's plan meant Raf didn't have to get a ride to the taproom. He agreed to dinner and met Heather, a tall, willowy brunette. She seemed friendly and had an air of competency Raf admired. Over dinner he realized Adam didn't seem crazy about Heather. They clearly liked each other and had fun together, but neither seemed to be caught up in something bigger.

Not like Rafael and Tasha were. That kind of scared him. As much as he wanted to hang out with Tasha, he didn't feel ready to start something sexually. He had no idea if Tasha even wanted that. If they tried, and it didn't work out, he'd be gutted. He didn't want to lose the friendship he did have with Tasha. He'd have to be very careful about his interactions with her for the next few weeks.

When he walked into the taproom, he felt like his eyes were heat seeking lasers. He looked for Tasha, found her, and headed her way. She didn't have time to chat, but she handed off three Dune Brews. Rafael took them to Mikey and Cara's table, where Adam and Heather had already grabbed chairs. Raf sat where he had a clear view of Tasha at the bar.

As the group chatted, he decided he really liked being around all of them. They were intense about things they cared about and laid back about everything else. That's the way he liked to be. Some things mattered. But not everything needed to be treated like the end of the world. Sometimes you could just chill and smell the flowers. Tasha, Adam, Cara, Mikey, and Heather understood that. Raf felt like they got him at a fundamental level.

His phone rang with a local number. The manager of the Benzonia bar wanted to offer Raf the job. He rejoiced internally and said he'd be thrilled to work there. He hung up and told the table his good news.

"Rafael is fully employed!" shouted Cara to the taproom at large.

The entire taproom erupted in claps and cheers.

He waved to everyone and laughed. "This place is something special," he said to his new friends.

"Like special special, or like good special?" Mikey asked.

Raf grinned. "Special meaning the best."

Especially when it came to women. He looked at Tasha and wondered about what could be some day once his heart felt whole. Later that night, as he lay in bed alone, he pumped his cock while thinking about Tasha's heart-shaped face. He envisioned touching her, being inside her. Almost immediately he came, panting as if he'd run a marathon. Tasha made his body weak and his heart strong. Should he tell her how he felt? Or would that make her uncomfortable? Would her knowing about his feelings push them into a relationship he might not be ready to have?

He closed his eyes and wished that someone would tell him what to do about his impossible to deny attraction to his roommate. Before he utterly fucked things up.

### Chapter 5: Tasha

Saturday Tasha woke up wondering how Rafael's first shift at the bar had gone. After she got up and showered, she still heard no movement in the other bedroom. She worked on bills in her office, looking at her overall financial picture. With the rent payment transferred, she had a decent cushion in her checking account again. In three months she'd be ready to buy that new car. The relief of knowing her financial affairs wouldn't be stressing her out unless something major came up made her all smiles as she prepared coffee and ate a cup of yogurt. She pulled out her e-reader and started a fantasy she'd been hearing a lot about. Female fantasy authors were Tasha's jam.

When she heard Rafael head to the bathroom, she set down the reader and started getting out the materials for a hearty brunch. By the time he came downstairs, she had most of it plated, only needing to finish up the eggs.

"I just have to do this scramble, and then we can eat," she said. "Help yourself to coffee."

"Thank you for making me breakfast. You're the best roommate I've ever had."

"So far the feeling's mutual. But I reserve the right to change my mind if your dirty socks end up in places I don't want."

Rafael laughed. "Fair."

"How did your first day go?"

"Good. The other workers are nice. The customers are nice. Although one of the waitresses seemed to be hitting on me. I didn't know what to do about it."

Tell her to fuck off? Tasha realized she might be a little jealous. "Is she pretty?"  
"She's okay. She's not as pretty as you are."

Good mood re-established. Of course, they now bordered a conversation that it might not be the right time for. She changed the subject to cars since they planned to hit the dealerships after they ate.

Once they got to the Nissan lot Rafael went to look at Muranos. Tasha checked out the Rogues to get an idea of what she wanted when she could buy one. Most were grey or black, but then she found a spectacular bright blue called Caspian Blue and knew she'd fallen in love. The model even had everything she wanted and none of the things she didn't, which made the car within her price range. She drooled for a while, then went to find Rafael. She found him inside with a salesperson holding car keys.

"Want to go on the test drive with me?" Rafael asked.

"Sure." She looked at the salesperson. "Any way I could do a test of the blue Rogue?"

The salesperson smiled. "Absolutely. Let me grab those keys as well."

A few minutes later they sat in a Cayenne Red Murano with Rafael at the wheel. The car definitely had more engine power than Tasha's Rogue. It drove well, and Rafael seemed happy with it. When he'd tooled around a few minutes, they got out, and she stared at it from the side. Deep, metallic red – a gorgeous finish. She almost wished they had a Rogue in that color.

Rafael nodded. "I want it. Let's check out your Rogue, Tasha."

Once Tasha got inside she became a little obsessed with the differences from her current car. Everything seemed newer and nicer. She finally turned it on and backed out, then did a circle through the neighborhood. She felt completely comfortable driving it. Pulling into the lot, she sighed.

"What are the chances this will be here in three months when I'm ready to buy a new car?" she asked.

"Can I ask why you're waiting three months?" the salesperson asked.

"I thought it would be a good idea to get more of a down payment together."

"I can do a great deal today without a high down payment if you're both buying today," the salesperson said.

"Oh, we're not married," said Tasha. "We're roommates."

The salesperson looked surprised for a second, then recovered. "Even if they're charged to separate people, the fact that you're both buying today would open up some good deals. Are either of you trading in a vehicle?"

"I would trade in my old Rogue, but it's seven years old," Tasha said.

The salesperson spread his hands. "Let's go inside and talk about it, and see what we can do for you both."

Tasha contemplated it. She hadn't planned to buy a car today, but if Rafael continued living with her for more than a few months, she could handle it. Undoubtedly she'd get a better deal today than by waiting three months. Plus, in three months this blue baby might be gone, and who knew if the next year models would have the perfect car. Would Rafael be with her long enough, though?

"Rafael, are you planning to live in my house for the next year?" she asked.

"As long as you don't find someone to marry and kick me out, I'll be here."

That pleased her greatly. She nodded. "Then let's see about buying two cars."

One thing Tasha would not have guessed was Rafael's mastery at bartering. He stuck by his target monthly payment amount, and managed to get it approved. She took his example and figured out her own best case scenario. After a few rounds the salesperson okayed her figures, and she felt like she'd won a race.

The salesperson turned her over to the finance lady, and with a call to Cassie's cell phone, Tasha got the loan approved for a brand spanking new blue beauty.

"So do I turn in my car today?" Tasha asked the finance lady, freaking out a little over losing her automotive companion.

"You can trade keys tomorrow or Monday if you prefer. Do you have a lot of things in your car?"

"Not really. I just hadn't quite prepared to say goodbye today."

The finance lady smiled. "I completely understand. I'm handing off the keys to Rafael, so maybe you can move your things into his car, then come back in to trade out the keys."

Tasha exhaled relief. "That would be perfect."

"I've never had a car," Rafael said as the two of them went outside. "Is it easy to get attached to them?"

"I think so. Maybe it's just me, but when you're inside it nearly every day and have everything set up just the way you want, it's hard to think of not being able to enjoy it anymore. I'll take some pics on my phone."

"I'll take one of you standing next to it."

They took lots of pics of Tasha's old car and Rafael's new one. Tasha put the last of her things in his SUV and looked at her baby. It was time to say so long and move on to the next car friend. Rafael followed her into the office, which relieved her since she felt oddly emotional. She got the keys to her new car, then went to it. Rafael followed and sat inside while she adjusted her seat and mirrors.

"Can I follow you home?" he asked.

"Absolutely. Let's do this."

He got out and into his pretty new car. She had to admit, he looked even hotter surrounded by all that red. By the time they arrived at the house, Tasha felt less like crying and more like celebrating. The new car had all the bells and whistles. She loved it.

Rafael and she talked about their new cars with the sort of proud parental bragging that wouldn't be out of place at a PTA meeting. They took more pictures in the driveway and went inside to post them on social media. You had to show everyone your new car, right?

Rafael made an early dinner, though not a Brazilian dish. It tasted just as good. He had skills in the kitchen. She wondered what other rooms of the house he had skills in, and whether she'd get to find out.

After he left for work in his new baby, she sat down on the sofa and relaxed. It seemed quiet without him there. Over the past seven months she'd gotten used to being alone, but now that she had a roommate, she found she preferred companionship to living on her own. Rafael's company especially calmed her.

Living with her ex-husband had always been a rather mundane affair. They talked about everyday things, and while she liked having someone to chat with, she never felt like they could sit down and talk for hours about whatever popped into her head. It seemed like he'd indulged her taste for conversation when they dated, but once they got married, he relegated her to the role of convenient companion rather than soul-searching partner. She had good friends, and she got to have meaningful discussions with them, but she wanted to find someone's brain as attractive as their body.

With Rafael she got that mix. He'd led an interesting life and also had a whimsical sense of the universe, always willing to talk about what could be. She felt like she could talk to him all day, every day, and not get bored. Also, the physical attraction made her previous relationship seem bland. Geoffrey was a good looking guy, but he didn't cause spontaneous drooling. He'd been a decent kisser, good at oral sex, hit and miss with vaginal sex. She hadn't always orgasmed during vaginal sex, and though Geoffrey always made sure his mouth or fingers brought her there, it would have been nice to come twice a night.

With him gone the past seven months, Tasha hadn't come at all. She couldn't orgasm from masturbation. She'd tried since her teen years. It seemed impossible for her to just relax and let go at some level. Yes, she'd been diagnosed with anxiety, but she took medication. Often she found herself carrying stress in her body for no good reason. Something inside her felt tight and balled up, like a core of nervous energy that all the leg bouncing in the world couldn't release (and she'd tried). As much as she'd like to claim she didn't need a man, if she wanted a toe curling, out of body experience, she kinda did need one.

Her ringing cell phone took her out of her thoughts. Heather wanted to see if she could go out. Adam had gotten a call from his drunk brother after said brother's fight with his fiancée, and Adam felt like he needed to stay home and talk. Now devoid of supper plans, Heather suggested meeting Tasha at Marisol's. Tasha had nothing on the agenda, and though she wasn't hungry after eating with Rafael, she could go for caramel and cherry topped flan.

"I'll go on one condition," Tasha said.

"What's that?" Heather asked.

"You let me pick you up in my brand new car."

"Oh, definitely. I need to see The Badass Blue Bitch in person."

Hmmm. Not a bad name for her car, actually.

After spending most of Sunday painting and chatting with Rafael, Tasha felt ready for a night out on the town. This time Heather picked her up, and they went to Cara's for makeup and hair. Tasha had decided to pass on going to Auntie Jade's after spending money on the dress and car, but Cara managed to create a fancy enough updo. Soon all three ladies looked Officially Hot, so they exited the master bedroom to let Mikey throw on his clothes before he drove them to By the Sands.

Adam and Rafael had beaten them to the restaurant, and when Rafael stood up to welcome them Tasha's jaw nearly dropped. She'd seen him in his interview gear, but today he wore a tight burgundy suit with a white shirt and a patterned tie in black, burgundy, and gold.

"Holy shit you should hit that," Cara whispered into Tasha's ear.

Tasha couldn't think of any response. She just grinned foolishly at him.

"Você é gata," he said in a low voice.

"What?" she asked dreamily.

Rafael laughed. "It means 'you're a cat.' You're hot, sexy It's a Brazilian thing."

He took her hand and escorted her to the hostess. "We're ready for our table now," he said suavely.

He kept holding onto her hand as the hostess led them to their table. Finally at their table he dropped her hand and pulled out her chair. Tasha sat. Rafael went to the other side and unbuttoned his jacket before sitting. She tried to quiet the voice inside her head saying, 'Why stop there? Do the shirt, too.' Hush, inner hussy. Off limits. Taking the menu handed to her, Tasha focused on the daily specials. Then she saw the words 'pork sausage' and wondered if the world was conspiring to make her horny.

With her tongue tied up from drooling, she didn't immediately join in the banter started by Cara. Instead she watched Rafael interact with her friends as if he'd known them all his life. They seemed equally comfortable around him. Something about Rafael invited camaraderie, which made him the perfect bartender. Yet she couldn't help feeling like he could be doing so much more than that if he'd stayed in New York.

Had it just been his fiancée's betrayal that brought him here? Or did he have other reasons to move to a small town where he made less money and worked a less glamorous job? As she relaxed she began trading quips with her companions, but part of her mind stayed focused on trying to figure Rafael out.

After they'd eaten a delicious meal, Mikey and Adam drove everyone to their chosen bar in the Old Mission Peninsula, north of Traverse City. They walked by an outdoor fountain and entered to find brown leather walls and antique objects spread around a distinctly upscale room. The copper plated bar beckoned Tasha's eyes, and she eyed the depression glass spread over it as patrons came and went.

"This is nice," Rafael said. "A vintage vibe, whereas we'll be more modern."

"This is straight up old timey hipster," said Adam. "Not what we'll be going for at all. Still, we can see who likes it and how much the clientele is willing to spend on a posh bar."

"Buy me a drink, sailor," Cara ordered Mikey. He grinned and headed to the bar.

Rafael turned to Tasha. "Can I get you something?"

"I can get my own drinks. In fact we'll need to save our money for our own drinks, because I hereby challenge you to a drinking contest."

His eyebrow lifted. "A drinking contest?"

She shrugged. "Neither of us are driving, and this place is trying so hard I can't deal with it sober."

Grinning, Rafael took her hand and headed to the bar. "I like the way you can see through pretension."

"I'm skilled that way. Which is why I'm skipping their overpriced cocktails and going for straight liquor."

The bartender came over and asked for their orders.

"Malibu, neat." Tasha handed over her card. "Run a tab."

He nodded and looked at Rafael, who said, "Same, Separate tab."

Once they got the drinks they headed over to a high table the others had claimed. Tasha hopped onto a stool next to Rafael and took a long drink of her rum. He imitated her, then smiled.

"Excellent choice," he said. "Sweet but definitely alcoholic."

"Right?" She leaned toward him. "Tell me about bars in other countries."

He kept her amused with story after story of drinking in faraway places. By the time she'd been through three glasses of rum, she wanted to share her adventures drinking. The time in college she'd gotten to a party after everyone left and they only had tequila left. She'd drunk it straight and nearly gotten sick. The time someone gave her Goldschläger, and she had gotten sick. The time she drank three frozen daiquiris at a house party and got so cold she climbed into the host's bed and pulled up the covers. Only to have him walk in and tell her he was flattered, but he had a girlfriend.

"Did you offer to have a threesome?" Rafael asked with a wicked grin.

Tasha laughed. "No, because I'd warmed up by then. The best part is I started dating his roommate a month later. So I'd be over there, and the bed guy looked terrified that I'd go wandering again."

He laughed. "He missed out."

"Oh, his girlfriend looked like Britt Ekland. He had no interest in me."

"Guess I prefer brunettes to blondes." The right side of his mouth tipped up into a naughty smile.

Tasha's mouth hung open, but before she could flirt back, Cara squealed.

"The back room is a dance floor. Come on, let's dance."

Mikey stood, but Heather made a face.

"Not feeling it," she said.

"Are you feeling it?" Rafael asked close to Tasha's ear.

"I am."

They left Heather and Adam to watch the purses and drinks. Once they got into the other room, Tasha reached her hands around Rafael's neck. His arms went around her waist. They swayed to the music. Their bodies touched all down their fronts. His wall of muscle against her breasts, his hardening cock against her abdomen. Wanting more, she laid her head against his chest. He quietly sang along to the Billie Holiday song, and she could feel the vibrations.

"This is nice," he said in her ear.

"So nice."

The song faded away, and she half-heartedly noticed changing songs before Cara stepped in front of her. Rafael stopped moving.

"Time to go home, drunk lady," Cara said.

"I'm not druuunk."

"If you say so. Adam's taking you two, so be good in the car."

Once she got outside in the fresh air she realized she was indeed pretty blitzed. Rafael insisted she sit in the passenger seat while he took the back. During the ride home Adam went over a detailed analysis of the bar with Rafael occasionally putting in an observation. Tasha told them everything wrong with the décor and insisted Adam 'go for something a little less Prohibition chic, because Tommy guns are so gangster film fanboy.' Behind her, Rafael chuckled.

As Adam pulled into a driveway Tasha thanked him for the ride. Rafael followed her inside the house.

"I'm not ready for bed yet," he said huskily.

She took his hand and brought him into the living room before pulling him down to the couch.

"I wish I could kiss you," he said.

"Why can't you?" she asked. She took the back of his head and steered him toward her face. As soon as their lips touched, she felt like she'd been lit on fire. He deepened their kiss, leading the dance with their tongues while his hands pulled her into his lap. It seemed like they kissed forever, each second better than the last, and then he pulled away enough to kiss and nibble her ear.

She undid his tie and started unbuttoning his shirt. His hands swept underneath her skirt to run along her thighs and squeeze her ass.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said.

"I want you inside me," she whispered.

He pulled away and seemed to sober up instantly. "That's not a good idea."

"Because we're roommates?"

"Because I just got out of a relationship that ended with my heart being broken. I'm not ready yet. If I tried, I would be a mess, and I don't want to do that to you."

Her happy buzz evaporated. "I get it. I'm sorry she hurt you."

"It is what it is. It's just... I need time."

"Do you think..."

"What?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"Well, you're right, it's not a good time to start a new relationship. And how could we have a relationship, anyway? We're roommates. It's a terrible idea. But we don't have to do the emotional thing. We could just be friends with benefits."

His brows furrowed. "How would we keep it from being emotional?"

"We only do positions where we can't look into each other's eyes."

"So no kissing?"

And miss out on those kissable lips? Hell, no.

"Despite what pop culture thinks, kissing isn't that intimate. As long as we're not sexing up in front of each other, we'll be fine. We just need to skip missionary."

As he contemplated that, she decided to sweeten the pot and make an offer he couldn't refuse. "We don't even have to have sex tonight. Just let me suck your dick."

If he didn't go for that, he needed to have his head examined.

### Chapter 6: Rafael

Let her suck his dick? More like beg her to suck his dick. Even though his big brain warned that sex of any kind was a terrible idea, his little brain said, 'Yes! Yes! Pick me!' Hard not to listen to that voice – both literally and figuratively hard. As his resolve wavered, he made the mistake of looking at her face, which glowed with affection, lust, and happiness. She wanted them to get physical, and she didn't expect a relationship out of him. He wanted to get physical with her, and if they did things right, he could revisit a relationship in three or four months when he felt ready. Left with no reason to say no, he gave in to the inevitable.

"Please," he said, sounding throatier than usual.

The smile on Tasha's lips nearly made him come right there. She finished unbuttoning his shirt, then pulled it out of his pants before unbuttoning and zipping them. Enough of his brain worked to remind him he didn't want to wrinkle his pants, so he stood up, kicked off his shoes, and took the pants off completely, laying them with the jacket on the other end of the couch. Left standing in his black boxer briefs, he waited to see if she wanted to pull them down or if he should.

Not surprisingly from this enterprisingly sexy woman, she stood and tugged his underwear to the floor. Her hands slid along his hard cock, exploring it with her fingers while she looked her fill. Unable to resist touching her, he stroked the sides of her face and kissed her as if he could show her what he really wanted to do with her. What they could someday have when he'd healed enough to move forward. As he pulled away her eyes flickered open, glanced at his lips long enough to have him leaning forward, then surprised him by falling to her knees and licking his cock like an ice cream cone.

He practically fell over as she swirled her tongue around his tip, then plunged him into her mouth. When she grabbed his ass cheeks and went deeper, his fingers burrowed into her hair. He'd messed up her hair, but fuck it, it felt good. Everything felt good. She sucked and licked, adding her hand at his root to ensure his entire cock rocked with sensation. He couldn't last like this. So much need flooded into him. The friction, the wetness, the warmth – it took him so close to the edge he thought he'd spend himself in less than two minutes. Somehow he didn't peak, and she continued teasing and titillating him.

The point that made him go over was her right hand slipping down off his cock, touching his balls and then tracing backward but stopping before she got to his rear. He'd had fingers up his ass before, and he dug it, but somehow he liked her not quite getting there better. It caused him to shake, and without her hand on his dick, he needed more. Fucking her mouth hard, he tilted his fingers so his nails gently added pressure to her skull. She moaned, and her pleasure set off an orgasm that had him tossing his head back and shouting to the heavens. He managed to look down in enough time to watch her suck every last drop of cum and then lick his slit once more before sitting on the floor.

Dropping down on the couch, he pulled her up and laid her down next to him. The dress he had off in about ten seconds, and her bra and panties (a bright orchid that reminded him of Rio's Carnival) fell out of his hands a minute later. Leaning down, he took her hard nipple into his mouth and showed her he could suck as well as she could. His hand pinched her other nipple, and she made another one of those desire-heavy moans. Surely this was more than friends with benefits. They had to have reached a place of pleasure that only pure lovers could achieve. He licked and kissed down her body, ignoring the implications of that.

Reaching her glistening pussy, he licked her cream into his mouth and tasted sweet perfection. He rolled his tongue around her clit to bring her closer to the edge she'd just pushed him over, and after using his tongue for several minutes, he hooked his index finger into her vagina. Wriggling it until he found her G spot, he paired that with sucking on her clit. She came apart with a loud moan and a series of shudders that ultimately ended with her seeming to melt into the couch.

He'd already started climbing over her, preparing to enter her fully when big brain flashed a major alert.

"Fuck! I need a condom. Let me go get... shit shit shit." He pressed his forehead into the back of the couch, then turned to look at Tasha. "I don't have any condoms because I wanted to give up on sex. Do you have any?"

"I should have some in the bath... goddammit, he took them with him. I remember noticing that at the time, and I didn't need to buy any." She banged her head against the pillow it rested on. "Well, this sucks."

Raf scrubbed his hand over his face. "It's fine. We agreed not to do missionary anyway. I wasn't even paying attention, I was just ready to go. Shit."

"If you're clean, there's always the morning after pill." Tasha didn't look like she'd committed to that future, though.

"No, it's..." He waved to his softening dick. "Thinking about why I don't have condoms erased every bit of lust I felt."

"I understand. Thinking about my ex ruined my mood, too. Plus, it's late, and I have to work in the morning. I'm going to bed. Have a good night."

She hurriedly got her clothes together and threw them over an arm before heading upstairs. Watching her go, he couldn't help but feel she'd pulled away from him emotionally as well as physically. Maybe she felt self-conscious over almost getting into bed with him so soon after meeting him. Or maybe she'd had the same 'sex after ex' moment he did. The first time with someone new after ending a major relationship affected everyone. Yes, he wanted to be over Genevieve. He wanted to move on completely and not care anymore. But it wasn't that easy in practice.

Gathering his clothes and shoes, Raf headed up the stairs to his room. He hurried through his nightly routine, wondering if Tasha felt any anger towards him. He hoped not. Hopefully she would work through her emotional issues, and they'd be friends again tomorrow. Just friends. He couldn't handle more right now, as much as he desperately wished he could.

Even though he'd set his alarm for later, he heard hers in the other room and woke. A few minutes of attempting sleep went nowhere, so he flipped off his alarm and brushed his teeth. Downstairs he turned the coffee maker on and took out a some strawberries to cut up for his yogurt.

"Morning," Tasha called out behind him.

He turned and found a stilted smile on her face. "Good morning. You sleep well?"

"Great!" Maybe a little overenthusiastic, there. "What about you?"

"Just fine," he said with less zeal.

"Coffee's working, huh? I really need a cup."

Judging by how hyper she seemed, she probably didn't. She appeared to be wired, like someone who didn't get enough sleep and wanted to fake their way into daylight functionality.

"The carafe is almost full."

A big, fake smile crossed her face. Good lord, he didn't realize the morning after would be this awkward. Clearly she had second thoughts about what they did the night before. He needed to let her off the hook before she freaked out too badly.

"Look, I think we may have rushed into things last night. Maybe it's not a good idea for us to add sex into our relationship yet."

She nodded gratefully. "Agreed. We don't know each other that well. We should wait until we feel more comfortable together."

"Definitely." Meanwhile, his little brain gave him side eye. His body definitely wanted more from her, and the sooner the better. Mentally he couldn't handle that, though. He needed to process his frustration with his ex so he could give Tasha his full attention.

Breakfast passed more pleasantly after that, and once she'd left and he'd showered and dressed, he came down to the living room and called Scout. Fortunately his best friend answered.

"Raf! The escape artist I wanted to talk to. How are things in the middle of Nowhere, Michigan?"

"Good. Mostly. Well, I mean, Michigan is good. But I think I fucked things up with Tasha."

"Your roommate? What happened?"

He got Scout up to date with all things Rafael and Tasha. "So now I'm wondering if she's having second thoughts, or if it just happened too quickly, or if she even wants it to happen again. I feel like I had the chance to be with her, really be with her, and I messed it all up. I might not ever get this chance again."

"Hey, no defeatist attitudes allowed. Who are we? Guys who get paid to look pretty. We're totally fucking lucky and we need to own it 24/7. She's going to be interested in you, because if you were in Wonderland, you'd have 'fuck me' written on your forehead. Women want you, man. I've seen your powers working. She's just a little gun shy, probably because her ex is an asshat, and let's face it, you two really haven't been friends that long. It's hard to trust people after a major breakup, and you're both right there on the post side, trying to give new people a chance. That's a precarious position to be in."

"Precarious? That's an awfully big word to be throwing around during our man club pep talks," Raf said sarcastically.

Scout snorted. "Some of the dolls my wife collects are called Precarious. She's really into them. It's a thing."

"Ahhh. Which ones are those?"

"You know the one with black hair wearing the black catsuit with the feather skirt?"

"I don't pay that much attention to your wife's dolls, Scout. I just know she has big ones and little ones."

"Oh, right. They're big ones."

"Gotcha," Raf said. "So you think Tasha is just having a moment of being careful, and she'll come around?"

"Totally. You're irresistible. I mean, the sparkling eyes, the surfer hair, the scruffy kinda-almost beard? Not to mention the accent. Chicks. Dig. Accents. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. First impression, your face. Second impression, your voice. If both of those are a go, you get third impression, your pants."

Raf chuckled. "I love the way you always sound like you were such a player. Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I was right there with you every step of the way. And you were hung up on Kaya from the moment you saw her."

"I know. Remember when she was an assistant, always trying to make sure she'd done everything perfectly? And we were these idiotic boys with no cares in the world."

"Now she's the head stylist and you're taking orders from her."

Scout's voice rumbled an appreciative noise. "She's a bossy wench, and I one hundred percent love it. Do you think it's weird we both went after stylists?"

"No. They're an essential part of the fashion process. And we both said from the beginning female models were too skinny."

"Yeah. I just..." Scout sighed.

"What? You can say whatever it is you're thinking."

"I just wonder sometimes if part of the reason you fell for Genevieve was that you saw how happy I am with Kaya."

"No," Rafael said firmly. "Genevieve had nothing in common with Kaya. Genevieve seemed so sophisticated. Half the people I met had fluff between their ears, and I wanted someone classy and smart. Plus I loved that everyone we knew wanted her. I just didn't realize she'd had them."

"None of them are as good looking as you, man. She totally stepped down."

Raf snorted. "Hunter Carlson is the number one male model in the world. Even I think he's hotter than I am."

"Do you think Hunter's hotter than me?"

"Seriously?"

Scout scoffed. "What? I legit think it's a tie."

"Girls, girls. You're both pretty."

"He's also seven years older than us, which means his metabolism is slowing down."

"Scout, focus. This isn't about your never-ending competition with Hunter. I'm not missing Genevieve. I just don't want any residual resentment I have over the way she treated me affecting my future interactions with women. I don't want, even on a subconscious level, to ever put Tasha in the same box as Genevieve."

"And I don't think you would. I think you just want everything with Tasha to be perfect, but you're still both a little damaged. That's totally normal. You have to breathe through it, my man. Be patient."

"Okay, good advice." Raf practiced a deep breath. "Yeah, just breathe. I can do that. So does everyone think I'm crazy for bailing on my career?"

"Umm, general opinion is: Yes, Rafael Santos has lost his damn mind. You're a success story in a competitive industry. Made it as a model, then made it as a photographer. I can understand walking away from modeling, I really can. It's a lot of taking orders. But giving up your photography? You're gifted, man. You get fashion on some fundamental level."

"Thanks, but I don't think I'm irreplaceable. A dozen other people can do the job. And I'll still take photos, still challenge myself artistically. I don't think I'll miss taking pictures for the sole purpose of selling things."

"I guess that's fair. I just want you to be happy," Scout said seriously.

"I know being here isn't as quote-unquote cool as being in the fashion world, but Sleepy Sands is beautiful. The people here are beautiful, and unlike seventy percent of the people we know, they're beautiful inside, too. I feel at home here. I feel like I could bring my family here, and they would all be happy. Before, I used to wonder what the end game was. Where I'd retire to. Well, I found that place, and I'd rather work here than be stuck wishing I could be here until I'm too old to appreciate it."

"Maybe I can convince Kaya to retire there. I always hoped we'd be hot old men together."

Raf smiled. "You should at the very least come visit in the next few months. Maybe in fall. I hear the color change is incredible here."

"We'll make it happen. Listen, I have to do a fitting for a magazine shoot. I hope shit works out with you and Tasha. She sounds like a really nice chick."

"Thanks. I hope shit works out with your magazine shoot. I wouldn't want anyone to think Hunter Carlson is prettier."

"Fuck you, bestie," Scout said amiably.

"Fuck you, too, dude. Laters."

Raf shook his head and tossed his phone to the side. He already missed seeing Scout. Hopefully phone calls would be enough, because something inside of him didn't want to go back to New York.

After catching up with things online, he headed over to the pub in his new red machine. He definitely liked having a car. He felt a certain amount of freedom being able to pick up and go anywhere, anytime. Plus, the car looked sexy, and him in the car? He'd seen the pics. He looked sexy. Maybe he could do a pose with sunglasses and a watch as he looked out his window. Kaya would love a candid of him wearing Z-Win gear to put up on their social media.

Once he arrived at the pub he went into work mode, chatting with all the customers who came his way and teasing the waitstaff who brought orders. He missed being around Emma and Frank on Mondays, but he enjoyed hanging out with everyone else. Cara came in for dinner with her family since Mikey worked dinner at his restaurant Mondays. Raf had met her brother, Tom, when he played at the club. He hadn't met her parents before. They seemed nice. Like everyone in Sleepy Sands, they encouraged him to let them know if he ever needed anything. As he'd told Scout, beautiful on the inside.

Upon arriving home when his shift ended, Raf found Tasha in the living room with her feet up on the couch and her laptop on.

"Mom's still out of town?" he asked.

She looked up and smiled. "She'll be back Sunday. How was your day?"

"Fun. Everyone's excited about the Fourth of July coming up."

"I bet. Do you have to work that Monday?"

"I do," he said. "I think it'll be fun. I've already been invited to three barbecues on Sunday, but I wanted to check what your plans were."

"I've got a few invites myself. I figured I'd see what you and our other partners in crime were up for."

"Cara and her family came for dinner, and her brother invited me to his house. He said Tommy Flannigan was co-hosting, so maybe Heather and Mikey will want to go there?"

"Probably," she said. "That's where Nigel's going. I think his band might play, actually."

"What kind of music do they play?"

"Britpop. It was big in the UK in the 90's apparently."

He nodded. "When I lived in London I got into the bands that had gotten big during that time."

"Right. I keep forgetting you spent a year in London. Mr. World Traveler."

"I've been lucky to be able to see a lot of different places. But I feel like you've been lucky to see so much of Sleepy Sands."

Tasha grinned. "Agreed. So whatever! Has anyone talked to you about it yet?"

"Talked to me about Sleepy Sands?" he asked, confused.

She laughed. "No, S-E-W. Sew Whatever. It's a store."

"No one mentioned it, and I haven't seen their sign."

"It's in a little industrial complex, so the sign is down low. They're a combination store and workshop. The store side sells sewing machines, patterns, fabrics, all that stuff. The workshop has sewing machines and other specialized machines people can rent by the hour. They also teach classes about sewing, tailoring, patterning, and quilting for people of various experience levels. There are several people in town who make clothing which they sell locally and online, and they're always looking for photographers and models to showcase their stuff. Sew Whatever has a bulletin board when you walk in with a bunch of fliers. If you want to print one up to say you're available for modeling and photography, we can take it over tonight."

"I couldn't model for them because I'm contracted through various agencies, but I would love to photograph for local designers."

"Oh, right, duh. Of course you have agencies. You're like internationally famous. I keep forgetting that."

He laughed. "I wouldn't go as far as famous. But I'm known to people who follow my industry."

"And who follow hot men, I'm sure."

"I may have been on Hottiphile Website's Model Mondays feature forty-two times over the years. And that's not counting the number of times I got on the website as dreamcasting for Book Boyfriend Saturdays."

Her mouth formed a cute little 'o.' "What are the other days of the week?"  
"Actor Tuesdays, Woman Crush Wednesdays, Tumblr Thursdays, Fandom Fridays, and Sports Star Sundays."

"I have got to check this website out," she said, sounding awed.

"As Kaya says, 'It's an all you can eat buffet of half naked men.'"

"Yes, please. When I was with Geoffrey he got a little insecure if I looked at pictures of other men, so I tried not to do it. But now that I'm free, I feel like I need to start objectifying men again."

Raf shrugged. "Considering how prevalent the male gaze is, I think it's only fair."

"Geez, hot and smart. You sure you're not one of those Book Boyfriends from Saturdays rather than an actual human male?"

He laughed. "Last time I checked I'm only two-dimensional in photographs."

"Speaking of photographs, let's get you set up."

Since she had a color printer, he made a flier using one of his photographs, adding his email and their landline number, which Tasha didn't mind giving out. She drove them over, and when they arrived they had time to poke around and check out the place before he put his flier on the board. As he tacked it up, a tall red-headed man came over and introduced himself as the co-owner. He pointed to his wife as the lady running the class in the workshop area.

"This place is incredible," Rafael said. "I can't believe we don't have something like this in New York. We're supposed to be fashion central."

"I imagine it's a lot harder to be an independent designer somewhere as expensive as New York City," the guy said. "Here the cost of living is low. Also, we really push art of all kinds in the schools, so the entire town does something. Even people who move here end up taking classes and making or performing their own art."

Raf nodded. "I love that Sleepy Sands is so artistically focused. I feel like most places treat art as something only a small number of super talented people can do, whereas here there's a feeling that everyone should be doing something creative."

The man smiled. "Exactly. We're definitely glad to have a fashion photographer of your caliber in town. I'll spread the word to anyone interested."

"Thanks."

They shook hands, and Raf and Tasha headed to the car.

"I think dessert," he said.

She grinned. "That can be arranged. What kind of dessert?"

"I don't suppose there's an ice cream place here?"

"Just the one in the grocery store."

"Oh, yeah, they had that blue moon ice cream I wanted to try," he said.

"Mmm. A scoop of that, and a scoop of butter brickle."

"I was thinking tin roof for my other scoop."

"You are a wise man, Rafael Santos."

"And you're a spectacular woman, Tasha Yancey."

A woman that maybe some day could become more than a friend. He cursed Genevieve yet again for making him go through hell and keeping him from being able to move forward with Tasha. But then, if Genevieve hadn't cheated on him, he wouldn't be in Sleepy Sands. So maybe Gen had done him a favor. Give him a few months and possibly a therapist, and maybe he'd be able to appreciate it.

### Chapter 7: Tasha

Things with Rafael seemed to have gone back to normal. Normal as in not jumping up to hug his face with her crotch. Did she want to? Sure. Did she realize it would be a terrible idea to try? Absolutely. Ever since Sunday night's condomgeddon (or maybe it only felt like the end of the world), she'd been trying to put on her best 'let's be friends' face. Walking into her house Wednesday after work, she hoped nothing would upset their shared delusion that they were both in control of their hormones.

Rafael stood in the kitchen making dinner, and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. Coming home to dinner always seemed nice when her ex-husband got to do it, and now that she'd started experiencing it herself? She didn't think she could ever give up that particular perk.

"Hey," he said easily, matching her smile. "I'm just scraping out the spaghetti squashes."

"Looks messy."

He shrugged. "Not as bad as pumpkins. How was work?"

"Good. I didn't have much brewing to do, so I played with the cider recipe. I think I might finally have one that tastes different enough from the local wineries'. We're making a bigger batch to taste test with our friends and family."

"Do I get to taste it?"

She sat at the kitchen table. "Definitely. But it won't be ready for another two weeks. How was your day? What did you do?"

"I went to Empire Bluff since I'd heard such good things. It really is an incredible view. I took a ton of pictures. Then I swung by Wokabout on the way home because I really craved orange chicken. Jenny Lu was at the boba counter, so we talked all about her plans for the new coffee shop. Sounds like it will be really nice. It seems like anything Sleepy Sands doesn't have yet, someone is out there trying to open it."

Tasha smiled. "We're a very entrepreneurial town. Though my own new ventures only extend into drink recipes."

"The world needs good drinks. Are you ready for dinner? I've got this made up."

"This being spaghetti squash with... spaghetti sauce?"  
"Ever had it before?" Rafael asked.

"I have never had spaghetti squash at all. This will be an all new experience for me."

His grin lit up the room. "I like being able to introduce you to new pleasures."

A chill danced down her spine. She wondered what other pleasures he could introduce her to. Undoubtedly they would be worth exploring.

Over dinner they chatted about barbecue invitations to see if they wanted to house jump, but ultimately they decided to just stick to the Tom/Tommy extravaganza. They'd have their closest friends (although Mikey had to work so would get there late), there wouldn't be children so they could drink and swear, and Tom's chef girlfriend, Jocasta, would be making food. Sounded like a winning party in Tasha's book.

After loading up the dishwasher, Tasha headed into the living room and sank down onto the couch. Rafael sat on the recliner and swiveled to face her.

"What do you want to do tonight?" he asked.

She skipped her first thought, 'wrap my pussy around your cock,' and instead expressed a willingness to do whatever he wanted. Judging by the wistful look that crossed his face, he also had ideas about them doing something sexual in nature. Apparently they'd both decided to be on best behavior, because neither of them offered to ride the other one hard and put them away wet. A shame, really.

Rafael looked at her for several minutes before smiling brightly. "I want to know everything about you that I don't know. Tell me what is stressing you out right now."

"Oh, I don't think you want to hear me complaining for an hour."

"I absolutely do. It'll make you feel better to talk about it. Consider me your own personal vent hood."

She laughed. "You're one of a kind, Rafael."

"You can call me Raf, you know."

"Okay."

"So tell your buddy Raf what's making you unhappy."

A sigh escaped before she could stop it. "Where to start? My ex? My lack of advancement at my job? My utterly average paintings that no one wants to buy? The fact that I will never be successful by society's measures unless I get a husband and a couple kids? Or the fact that I'm so far from successful at thirty years old?"

He hooked his ankle over the other knee. "Start with whichever one makes you feel most out of control."

Looking down at her newly balled fists she decided to start there. "I don't let myself get out of control. Getting drunk Sunday was an aberration. I just wanted to be someone else for a night. I didn't drink much after I married Geoffrey. He didn't enjoy drinking, and when I drank he made critical comments about needing to sober up. I got drunk with Cara and Heather a few times after he left, but always at home where no one could see us. I haven't been drunk in public since college. I needed to let off some steam. Until you went down on me, I haven't had an orgasm since Geoffrey left. I can't come when I masturbate. I can't let go. I've tried since discovering my clit felt good in high school, but the buildup of good feelings never actually went anywhere. I don't end up in a shaking puddle of joy unless there's someone making me. So being sexually frustrated stresses me out. Thanks for fixing that, by the way. I know we haven't figured things out, but I don't regret what we did."

"I don't either. Tell me about why you have to be in control."

"You sound like the therapist I went to in college. Toward the end of freshman year I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my teeth clenched and fingers balled into fists. I'd wake my roommate up when I headed to the bathroom, and she finally asked me to go to the psych department for sessions with the grad students. I saw them, but I also saw a regular psychiatrist who diagnosed me with General Anxiety Disorder and put me on meds. They helped me physically relax, but I still felt wound up in my head, you know? Or maybe you don't know. You always seem so laid back."

He looked apologetic. "No anxiety issues here. But my mom has them, and my sister is OCD. So I understand what it's like."

"I'm never at peace. Able to simply... be. The closest I get is when I'm on the dunes watching the sun set. I don't think I could ever leave Sleepy Sands because I need that view so badly. It's hard for me in winter when the drive is closed."

"What do you do then?"

She shrugged. "I drive to Empire Beach and park facing the water. Being in the car isn't like being out and part of nature, but the heater is necessary."

"Understandable."

He continued watching her passively, making no attempt to change or steer the conversation. Maybe he really did want to hear all her drama. Which either made him a unicorn among straight men, or he intended a quid pro quo and after she finished she'd be able to learn what made him tick. The thought intrigued her and made her feel comfortable enough to dig deep.

"You asked why I have to be in control. When I was twelve, my grandmother had a mild stroke and came to live with us while she recuperated. One weekend my parents had to go to the office and told me to watch over my grandma. But grandma was sleeping, and I felt bored, so instead of reading where I could keep an eye on her, I went to the basement and watched a movie, singing along, dancing around, having a grand old time. When the movie ended I went upstairs to check on grandma and..." She swallowed past the lump rising in her throat. Rafael waited patiently for her to continue.

"She had slumped down at a really unnatural angle. I shook her to wake her up, and she wouldn't wake up. I tried everything. I didn't think I could call 911 because I was home alone. I called my parents, but they didn't answer their phones. So I just sat there for an hour, staring at my grandmother's dead body until my parents came home, and I had to tell them I was too busy pretending to be a pop star to notice my grandmother had another stroke."

She unclenched her hands and breathed steadily to stave off tears.

"It wasn't your fault she had a stroke," Rafael said kindly. "I'm guessing someone told you that even if you'd been watching her, there was probably very little you could have done to save her?"

Tasha nodded. "They said it killed her right away. But I had a job, and I didn't do it, and she died."

Popping up, Rafael walked over, lifted her chin, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. When he met her eyes, he stroked her cheek. "Not. Your. Fault."

"I know that rationally. But the thought that I'd messed up stayed locked into my brain. It just became a fact to me that when I had too much fun, terrible things would happen to people I loved."

He nodded and then sat down again, looking at her almost clinically. "So unless you've got some external relaxant like alcohol or a man pleasuring you, you can't undo that chain of thinking."

"Exactly. And even being with Geoffrey, I didn't have vaginal orgasms. I only orgasmed with clitoral stimulation, which he sometimes couldn't manage, and he got cranky if I tried to do it myself."

"Pardon me for saying so with little data, but your ex-husband sounds like a rego do cu."

"What does that mean?"

Rafael shrugged. "Ass crack."

Finding herself nodding, Tasha filed away that insult for future use. "He's not a terrible person, but he didn't help me. I accepted that because I thought I wouldn't be able to find anyone better. I didn't want to be single, so I settled for a tolerable relationship when I should have been looking for a great one. I look at Cara and Mikey's relationship and see how strong it is, and it makes me realize what I could have had. What I should have fought for. Do you know what I mean?"

"I don't, actually. When I dated women and it didn't work out, we ended it. I ended it. I thought maybe I wasn't capable of falling in love. Then I met Genevieve and everything seemed right. Our relationship had such passion. I felt more focused at work, and things sexually never failed to amaze me. I thought we had the perfect life. Then she cheated on me. With men I knew, men I thought were my friends. I thought maybe I'd been punished for all the women I broke up with. Some said I broke their hearts. Other women said I'd led them on, flirted with them. I have a personality that makes me enjoy talking to other people, and I want to make them feel good. I guess sometimes that reads as flirting."

"But you don't do it maliciously, or try to use people. You're just charismatic. You don't deserve any bad karma for having been that way. I think your girlfriend cheating on you was just her being a messy bitch and not the universe trying to tell you something."

That appeared to comfort him. "Thank you. I guess I didn't realize how much I need absolution. The whole thing wrecked me. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life loving her."

"How did you find out she cheated?"

He snorted. "Hunter Carlson called me in the middle of the night. When I answered, I got to hear his drunk ass apologizing to me, saying he didn't know how it happened. He didn't mean to, but he was just so drawn to her. I felt my heart sinking. I asked what he meant. He said he'd just slept with Genevieve, and he couldn't believe he'd betrayed our friendship that way. I said I couldn't believe it, either. I didn't understand how she could cheat on me. I thought it had been the first time. I'd always known she had a crush on Hunter. But then he said she bragged about the other models she'd slept with. Four more of them. And they didn't have any crisis of conscience and call me afterward."

"I'm not very knowledgeable about fashion, but even I've heard of Hunter Carlson."

"I used to think he was a good guy," Rafael said bitterly. Then he sighed. "Hell, he is a good guy. He just made a mistake. But at least he owned up to it. And really, I'm glad I found out about Genevieve before we got married. We lived together, and we'd spent money on the wedding already. I had to extricate myself from her. The apartment belongs to me, so I told her she had a week to move out. I think of how much worse it could have been financially. What you must have had to go through being married."

She nodded. "The nicest phrase I could come up with is 'total pain in the ass.' It's not easy separating from someone."

"Yeah. I just... I had to get away from New York. I couldn't see her or the men she'd cheated with. Work with them. And maybe there were more men. She only told him about four because she wanted to name drop. Maybe she collected male models like she collected shoes."

"It's better you don't know."

Rafael nodded dispiritedly. "I know you're right, but I wonder. So even though I don't get what you mean about settling for the wrong person, I still picked the wrong person. We both know what it's like to make mistakes in love. To think someone can be a partner and find out they aren't."

"It's not exactly something I would have put on my to do list as far as life lessons go."

A bark of laughter escaped him. "You're right about that. I wouldn't have wanted it."

"But I guess we both came out of it stronger. And more discerning about future relationships."

"I'd like to think so. Anyway, enough talk about exes. It's depressing me. Tell me about your job worries. I thought you really loved working at the brewery?"

"I do love it," Tasha said. "But I don't know how much growth there can be. Rich is forty-one, which means he won't retire for a long time, and Nigel is three years younger than I am. He has this company that he's built from scratch and turned into a regional powerhouse. I love him to pieces, but sometimes I'm so jealous of him. I wish it could be me who had done that. I fell into brewing when he started the company. I'd been working for my parents, and I hated that. I loved making wine, so I thought, how different could beer be?

"I'd looked at winery jobs before, but they didn't pay as much as my parents did. I'd thought I needed to have a job that paid well. When Nigel opened his brewery I kind of stopped caring. Geoffrey made a good salary, and I didn't feel that making my parents happy should be more important than me being happy. So I took the job with Nigel which paid less. I've gotten raises as the company grew, and I make a good salary now. I'd be making a lot more if I'd stayed at my parents' company, since they'd have me in upper management by now."

"What is their company?"

"They run the call center here in town. When they split up my dad went to open a second location in Traverse City so my parents didn't have to see each other every day. They still got along, and they both still loved the business. Buying each other out would have been difficult for either of them at the time, and they wanted to expand to a second location before the divorce. It made sense to operate the business together with different locations."

"Wow. And they still co-own it?"

"Yup. They've made enough now they could have bought each other out, but they feel the business is stronger as one unit than two. They hoped I would take it over, but I didn't enjoy the work, even at a managerial level. They do customer service rather than telemarketing, but still. It's such a disheartening place to work. So many customers on the phone shouting and being negative."

He shook his head. "I couldn't imagine dealing with that every day. Brewing is much better. What about doing more with cider and mead? Could you get more involved with that side of the business? It seems like that would be challenging, and you'd have the potential to make more money as you sold more product."

"I would love to do more with the non-beer products, and monetarily I think I could see real advancement. It would take a while for the company to get there, though. We're still working on recipes, then we'll have to get the sales guy to pitch the drinks. It could take two or three years before we start making a decent profit. To become an important element of the company's growth and expansion? That may never happen."

"With your drive and talent? I think it will happen sooner than you think."

Tasha smiled. It felt good to have someone in her corner. Her ex had never been particularly supportive when she fretted about things with her career. He didn't seem to think she did important work, and he didn't care whether she'd be able to reach higher levels of responsibility.

"I hope so," she said. "It's just so easy to compare myself to Nigel. He has the company, a house he didn't take over payments for, a locally beloved band that's getting attention online, and he seems perfectly content dating. The other brewmaster, Rich, has a beautiful wife he's madly in love with and two adorable daughters. He's also really talented at woodcarving. They both have their shit together, and I have an assistant title, an ex-husband, and no chance of having kids any time soon."

A shadow crossed Rafael's face. "You want children, then?"

"I do. I always have. I didn't have siblings until my dad remarried, and I had a blast watching my little brother and sister grow up. I love every phase they go through. It brings me such joy to help them. Even now that they're teenagers and so over sisters. I want to go through the experience of raising my own children. Seeing them go from babies to best friends. I think it would be so rewarding."

"I see."

"Do you not want children?"

He hesitated. "A part of me wishes I could have children, but the thought of losing one cripples me. I saw what my parents went through, what I went through as a brother, and I can't do that again."

"What happened? I know you have a sister that you talk to. Did you have a sibling die?"

"My little brother."

He seemed to be gathering himself to say more. She waited patiently while a myriad of expressions crossed his face.

"My brother Diego was seven years younger, so I got to see him as a baby, then a toddler. As a five-year-old he had more energy than I could imagine. I thought I could never have been that way myself, but my mother assured me I'd been no different. The energy didn't last, though. Within months he had severe health problems. Universal health care had just started in Brazil, but there were no doctors near us. My parents had talked about moving to a bigger city, so we moved to São Paulo. After a few doctor visits Diego was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. They did chemotherapy, and he responded well, went into full remission.

"My parents worried about a recurrence, but Diego recovered his energy, became a normal kid again. He liked to follow me around and brag to other kids about his big brother. I had been so scared when he got sick. I thought everything would be better once he went into remission, and I started worrying less. At seventeen I went on a school trip to Rio. We spent a day at the beach, and a woman approached me. She explained she scouted models and would be interested in me visiting her agency. I said I'd come on a school trip, and she gave me her card. Said modeling was a glamorous career that could take me all over the globe. That appealed to me, and when I went home I talked to my parents.

"They wanted me to wait until I turned eighteen and left secondary school before I considered trying to become a model. I agreed. A few months later Diego's health suffered, and we found out the cancer had come back. They did more chemotherapy, but this time they wanted to do a bone marrow transplant. The rest of the family was tested. I was a match. When the cancer went into remission we did the procedure. Diego remained sluggish for several weeks, but finally he recovered. I finished secondary school, and since I couldn't afford to go to university right away, I needed to work. The modeling job sounded more fun than most jobs, so I took a bus to Rio and tried my luck.

"Fortunately the scout still worked at that agency, and she got me jobs. They said I was a natural in front of the camera. They wanted me to work for crazy big magazines and companies, going crazy places. It all seemed so fantastical. I lived out of hotels for months. I went back to see my family, and everyone seemed fine, Diego seemed healthy. He thought my job was amazing and said he wanted to be a model, too. I didn't doubt he could – his features were more perfect than mine, even at eleven. I went off to do more jobs in more places.

"I started to make a name for myself, but then my mother called me crying. Diego had gotten sick again. Graft Versus Host Disease. The doctors seemed worried. I flew back home as soon as I could and found Diego very sick. They had him on medication, but he didn't seem to be getting any better. Within two weeks he..."

Rafael swallowed.

"You lost him," she said sympathetically.

He nodded. "My agent said I'd already hurt my career abandoning my last gig, and I needed to get back to work. But I couldn't leave my parents and sister like that. I said if people in fashion couldn't wait for me, I'd find another job. I stayed with my family for two months, and we grieved together. My sister was fourteen, a very sensitive age, and it seemed to help her that I stayed. After two months, though, I felt itchy. I needed to be working again, and I really loved modeling. Also, I won't lie, I wanted to get away from São Paulo and the memories. I called my agent to see if anyone still wanted to hire me, and within a week I'd flown to Italy. I called my parents and sister as much as I could. But the farther I got from them, the more I felt like I could breathe again.

"I needed a home base for modeling, and I wanted it to be far away from Brazil. I picked London. I met Scout several months later, and we got along really well. He said I should move to New York since they always had business, and I'd be closer to my family. At that point I didn't feel like I needed to be so far from Diego's memory, so I moved. I visited my family more, and I sent them money so Gabriela could go to university. My mother had started working, and they moved to a better neighborhood. I worried about them less, but there was still crime where they were, corruption, inequality.

"Once I became a citizen of this country, I realized it would be best if they could join me. I tried to get Gabriela to come to an American university, but she refused to leave my parents. She said with me gone, and Diego gone, she was all they had. When she graduated and became a librarian they moved to a better neighborhood, which made me worry less. But still. There is a sort of air in Brazil right now I don't like. Things feel dangerous to me. Like the world is on edge. And with people talking so negatively about immigration here, I want to get my family to the United States before it's too late.

"I looked for places that would give them work permits in New York City, and found none, but maybe here will be better? It's what I wish for most, that I could have them with me. I don't know who to talk to in Sleepy Sands, though. I just got here, and I don't want people to feel like I only came to use them and get my family here."

"No one would think that," Tasha said firmly. "We're a very pro-immigrant community, and we've always tried hard to get the family of our residents here if they want to be. Your sister is a librarian? For a city or a school?"

"For a university."

"Hmm. There will be a university opening in three years, but I remember hearing rumors that Mrs. Mortensen will be retiring soon. She's the town librarian."

"Retiring soon? But would the city hire someone using a work permit?"

"No one of a younger age in town is a librarian. So at the point they're not hiring someone local, why not also look into someone international?"

"I imagine it's costly to file all the paperwork, though."

"Anisa would help them, I'm sure. What do your parents do?"

"My father is in construction, but so are thousands of other people living here already. My mother works at a factory which makes medical equipment. Nothing specialized that would be worth giving her a work permit."

Rafael looked discouraged. The pain in his eyes hadn't gone away after talking about Diego. Whatever demons he had to face with his brother's death, he would feel them until his family had come to Sleepy Sands. If Tasha wanted Rafael to be content, she needed to help him get his family permits. She thought of who to talk to and started making plans.

"I just took this conversation to a dark place," Rafael said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You need support for the things you go through, just like I do."

"I want to talk about something lighter now. I want to chase the bad memories away."

She smiled sympathetically. "How about you tell me how and why you got into photography?"

The subject perked him up, and over the next half hour he gradually reclaimed his sunny disposition. Realizing she didn't want to see him without it again, she resolved to do whatever it took to get Rafael to stay and be happy in Sleepy Sands. If her reasons for doing so were primarily selfish, well... she never claimed to be anything other than human.

### Chapter 8: Rafael

Wednesday night's sharing session left Rafael feeling cleansed when he went to sleep. Thursday he woke up stronger and more focused, ready to face his demons and help slay Tasha's.

After eating lunch with Adam, the two headed into Traverse City to meet with the architect. Adam looped his sister Sarah in on his phone, and they coordinated with the architect over how the new building should look. After two hours the architect seemed ready to move forward, so Raf and Adam headed to Adam's house and called Sarah again.

"What do we think?" she asked when the video call kicked in. "Are they going to be able to handle this?"

"They seem like they know what they're about," Rafael said.

Adam nodded. "I'm impressed with their other projects. I think they had some great suggestions, and they seem to have a good track record of keeping projects on budget."

"Speaking of budget," Sarah said lightly, "it occurs to me we have an untapped resource."

Her brother looked confused. "What's that?"

She grinned. "Rafael, I've followed your career as a model, and I imagine you have a decent amount of savings at this point. How would you like to invest into the club and become the third principal?"

Raf turned to Adam to see what he thought about this.

Though Adam at first seemed surprised, he started nodding. "You wouldn't need to invest a lot. It would mean me not paying you for strategy sessions, but it would also mean you'd make more decisions, and you'd have profit sharing once we're open."

"It wouldn't just be a job, it would put you on equal footing with us," Sarah said. "I think with the ideas you've already had, you've earned it. And frankly, my brother and I weren't getting a lot done any time we disagreed. Now we'll have a third person to break our ties."

Adam nodded emphatically. "She's a real ballbuster when we're at odds."

Raf grinned. "Sarah's a ballbuster all the time. That's what I like about her." He winked at the webcam and she laughed.

"Flattery will get you everywhere," she said. "Seriously, what do you think? If you want in on the gym, too, we'd be happy to bring you in there, too, but I don't know what you would want to do there."

"I'll leave the gym to you two," Raf said. "I would love to take on a heavier role at the club. And I do have money I can put in."

They talked figures, and once they'd worked that out they delineated what each would be responsible for, currently and once it actually opened.

"Alright, I need to eat dinner and head to the Jasper we're running now," Sarah said. "Have fun at the taproom, partners."

Rafael grinned and said goodbye. He turned to Adam. "Partners. I like it."

"I love it," Adam said. "I should have thought of it myself."

"It's not your fault your sister is smarter than you, man."

Adam laughed. "She is. Let's grab some dinner. I'm thinking Thai."

"Brilliant."

An hour and two red curries later, they headed to the taproom. Cara and Mikey already had staked out a table and had three Dune Brews in front of other chairs.

"How do we know you didn't poison those?" Raf teased.

"Why would I kill you?" Cara asked. "You're cute. I like that in a person. Now, I'm not saying I didn't spit in it."

They laughed.

"I do not know why I take you out in public," Mikey said to her.

She smiled angelically. "Glutton for punishment, clearly. What's new with you two?"

Adam told them about Raf becoming a partner, and they seemed happy about it. Raf glanced over at Tasha and waved when she smiled.

"I want to go tell Tasha," Raf said, getting up.

The other three exchanged looks that seemed a little too knowing for Raf's liking. He bellied up to the bar and told Tasha his news.

She lit up. "That's awesome. For you it's awesome, because it means you have something you can call your own. And it's awesome for me, because it means you have a reason to stay in Sleepy Sands."

"I have a lot of reasons to stay in Sleepy Sands," he said, thinking the biggest one was her. After their conversation last night, Raf felt like he'd absolved himself of sins he didn't know he carried with him. He liked learning more about her and what she struggled with. He now knew how to help her. They'd taken a step closer together. He wanted to see what they could become once he'd healed fully.

"I wanted to introduce you to some people... hey, Nigel, I'm taking ten," Tasha called to the other end of the bar.

"A'ight."

Her face turned skeptical. "What, are you American now?"

A two fingered V sign waved in her direction. She chortled. "Okay, still British."

Raf grinned and followed Tasha to where a woman with grey-streaked blonde hair sat with a few other people.

"Mayor, can we talk?" Tasha asked politely.

The woman stood and stepped toward them.

"You're Rafael Santos, right?" the Mayor asked. When Raf nodded she said, "I'm Leslie Eidelmann. I'm sorry I haven't welcomed you earlier, but I've been working hard on our fall tourism campaign and haven't been here or to the pub."

"Completely understandable," he said. He looked to Tasha to see why she wanted him to meet the Mayor.

"I talked to Mrs. Mortensen on my lunch break. She's hoping to retire at the end of April, and she mentioned two other nearby towns having a problem finding qualified librarians in the past two years. As it happens, Mayor, Rafael's sister works as a librarian at a university, but she's a Brazilian resident, so she would need to be sponsored to work here."

Mayor Eidelmann nodded attentively. "I'm aware of the lack of candidates locally, and it's totally within our means to get a work permit for your sister. With her being the family member of a resident, we'd expect greater ties to our community than if we hired someone else from another city or state. We don't have the budget to hire her on now, but I had planned on getting someone in early April so Rhonda would have the whole month to train them."

April? He could get his sister here in less than a year?

"That would be amazing," Raf said gratefully. "Would you be able to do a video interview with her, or would I need to fly her here?"

"We could do a video interview. Do you have other family members looking to come here?"

"I do. My parents." He told Mayor Eidelmann what they did.

She looked at Tasha. "You can go back to work, I'll introduce Rafael to Henrik. If Cathy comes I'll introduce him to her as well."

Tasha smiled. "Thanks."

Mayor Eidelmann led him to a table of Jenny Lu, a blond man, an Indian girl, and a brunette. "Jenny, Rashmi, Irena, Henrik. This is Rafael Santos. Can we have a word, Henrik?"

Rafael waved to the ladies and smiled as the tall Scandinavian man walked toward them. Rafael put out his hand and shook Henrik's. The firm grip showed Henrik either worked with his hands or spent as much time at the gym as Raf did.

"How can I help?" Henrik asked.

"We're trying to get Rafael's parents here with work permits," Mayor Eidelmann said. "His father works in construction. I figured you were the best place to start."

Henrik looked at Rafael. "What's your dad's specialty?"

"He's kind of a jack of all trades. He's done both commercial and residential. He supervises a team, so he does less physical work himself, but he's middle management, not a foreman."

The blond man frowned. "I have enough people on standby I couldn't justify hiring him as a general worker, unfortunately. We do expect the university to start construction next year, and I think they'll need more people than we have locally. It would help if your dad could take some kind of specialty training courses that would give him a knowledge base on something uncommon. I can justify a work permit more easily for a position I'd have trouble filling."

"That makes sense," Rafael said, a little disappointed. He didn't know if his dad would be able to finish coursework by April. "What would be a good thing for him to learn?"

"I'll leave you to discuss that," Mayor Eidelmann said. "Rafael, if I see Cathy I'll bring her to your table. She owns a Human Resources contracting company, which includes finding jobseekers permanent positions."

"Thank you for your help, Mayor Eidelmann."

"Of course. And you can call me Leslie." She smiled, then headed to her table.

Rafael turned back to Henrik, who appeared to be thinking.

"I doubt the university will require much woodwork or stonework," Henrik said. "I think the biggest two things we'd need would be ventwork and elevators."

"I'll tell my father to look for classes."

"Great. That would make him more marketable for future projects, too. The college will probably take two years to build, and with the college here we'll be called on to do more residential building. I think we can justify keeping him here until his citizenship comes through."

So now Raf just needed to find a job for his mother. He felt so much lighter. "Thank you for your advice. I'm truly grateful."

"Hey, Henrik."

Rafael turned to find Adam.

"Hey, Adam. How goes the club and gym?"

"We talked to the architects today, and I explained I wanted your company doing the build. Did they contact you?"

"They did. I can get you a team within two weeks of your ideal start date."

"Perfect," Adam said. "Rafael's coming on as a partner in the club, so he'll be part of the process going forward."

"Awesome," Henrik said, looking at Raf. "Are you also a deejay?"

Raf shook his head. "I'll be managing the bar. I love music, but I don't have much talent in that area. My artistic skills lie in the field of photography."

"Nice. Do you ever do room photography?" Henrik asked.

"I do fashion shoots. Sometimes that takes advantage of the buildings we're in."

Henrik nodded. "I ask because we like to take professional pictures of our projects when we finish, and the photographers here get pretty booked up. It's always nice to have someone who can do a few hours of work when needed."

"I could probably fit that into my schedule," Rafael said. "I don't have a card on me, though."

"I'll do a group email with both of you so you'll have each other's contact info," Adam said.

"Perfect," Henrik said.

Henrik asked Raf a few questions about his family, then Raf asked whether Henrik's family was in Sleepy Sands.

"My mom owns the hardware store, my dad and uncle run the building supply along with one cousin, my sister is a landscape engineer, my aunt owns the nursery, and my cousin works as an engineer at the recycled materials supplier. So yeah, Birkl power everywhere. There are actually a lot of Swedes in Michigan. No Swedish restaurant nearby, though." Henrik stuck out his lower lip in a pout.

Raf laughed. "I've been to Sweden multiple times, and I can safely say I wouldn't go to a Swedish restaurant if there was one. It's a unique cuisine."

Henrik grinned. "I lived there for a semester in college, so I learned to love it. It's one of my four."

Raf looked to Adam, who seemed equally confused.

"Sorry," Henrik said. "You probably haven't heard. In March the town did a survey to see what kind of new businesses we could support, and with current demand we should be able to open four more restaurants. So everyone talks about what they would pick as their four dream restaurants. Mine are Swedish, Japanese, a steak/seafood place, and fast food."

"I would say Japanese and fast food for sure," Adam said. "But I'd love a Cajun place and a Persian place."

"Definitely Persian," said Raf. "And yes to Japanese. Fast food I could do without. I would want a Brazilian place, naturally. And for a fourth, I think I'd want Moroccan."

That got them talking about the different kinds of foods they'd tried, which led to talking about places they'd been, and they ended up talking until Tasha came over.

"Hey, I'm on break," she said. "You three seem to be having fun."

"We are," Raf said. "Henrik suggested my father should take some courses so he has a more specific skill set."

She brightened. "Nice."

"And the mayor said I should talk to Cathy the human resources consultant?" asked Raf.

"Knight Resources is the company," Tasha said. "Cathy doesn't usually come to the taproom because she's not a beer drinker. She's one of the people who said she'd like to come when we start serving cider and mead."

"Any progress with that?" Henrik asked.

"Cider's fermenting. Mead I'm still working on the right recipe. But a year ago when Nigel decided to move forward with wine licensing, I made a batch of plum wine and a batch of pear-raspberry wine. I forgot they matured today, but a message popped up on my computer. We opened the casks and everyone had a taste. Nigel's a go on both, so he wants me to put together a proposal for creating batches when the fruits are in season. How much fruit we'd need, what other materials, whether we could do it with our employees or need to hire some temps."

"That's awesome that he's asking you to prepare something," Raf said. Maybe this would be one step closer to a promotion for her.

Tasha grinned. "I'm really excited about it."

How else could he help Tasha conquer her stressors? He hoped she'd look to him in the 'finding a man after that d-bag ex' category, but he couldn't promise her anything yet. He couldn't turn off his emotions and only be physical with her. He had a passionate nature, and that meant falling for someone.

Tasha's other worry had been that she hadn't found success with her art. What could he do to help her there? Rafael turned the problem of Tasha's paintings over in his mind throughout the evening and while he waited to fall asleep in bed.

After Tasha left for work Friday morning and Raf made his second cup of coffee, an art connection occurred to him. He'd modeled for a magazine shoot in Rosalind Newton's gallery. He'd liked one of the paintings so much he ended up buying it.

Opening a new email, Rafael explained to Rosalind that he'd moved in with a talented artist who was looking to expand her sales beyond the very saturated market of Sleepy Sands, Michigan. Putting in a link to Tasha's website, he asked her to let him know if she had interest in Tasha's work.

A few hours later when Raf checked his email, he found a reply from Rosalind. She felt Tasha had a lot of talent, but thought only one of the paintings would be a good fit for her clients. If Tasha still had it available, she'd like to have it sent. Rafael went upstairs and checked the closet in the studio. He found the painting among several others, then went down to tell Rosalind. He gave her Tasha's email to contact directly about the contract and logistics of getting it to New York.

Feeling satisfied, he spent the rest of the afternoon working up a budget for starting the bar at Jasper North. He went down a few rabbit holes, and when his alarm dinged he made an early dinner and drove down to Benzonia.

The waitress who seemed to be hitting on him before looked extra sexualized tonight, and he wondered if she'd hoped showing skin and wearing tight clothes would make him interested. If so, she'd miscalculated. He'd seen plenty of skin over the years, and currently he only wanted to see one woman looking sexy – Tasha. Raf spent the evening being as distant as possible with that waitress, hoping she'd give up on him.

Saturday when Raf woke and headed to the bathroom he heard movement in the studio. After he did his business he peeked his head in.

"Usually you paint Sundays," he observed.

"Usually. But I got an email from your gallery owner friend, and I felt so excited about having someone in New York interested in my work I couldn't wait to start making more. Thank you so much, Rafael. It means so much to me that you think my paintings are worthy of being in a New York gallery."

"So does Rosalind, clearly. I'm glad I could help. You've been amazing to me, and I would do anything to make you happy."

For a second he thought she might sigh.

"Thanks," said Tasha. "That means a lot to me. I'm not used to having a man who genuinely wants to make my life better."

Raf smiled at her. "Now you have one."

Her forehead wrinkled as if she wanted to figure him out. Then she smiled again. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Now if only he could recover from his previous relationship enough to be there for her in every possible way. His eyes skimmed over her camisole and pajama pants. Somehow she made that look a hundred times sexier than the outfit the waitress had worn. He couldn't deny he wanted Tasha. He just couldn't jump into sex without being emotionally ready. The more days that passed, the more he realized his desire for Tasha would far outstrip his healing process. Basically the next few months would consist of him desperately wanting Tasha while knowing that touching her would ruin him. Temptation everlasting.

He was fucked, simply because he wasn't getting fucked. Brilliant.

### Chapter 9: Tasha

The ringing from a phone made Tasha look up. Sounded like Rich's. She looked at her work hour chart, wishing she'd gotten a call from Dane Meyers at Sleepy Sands Farm to finish the fruit wine budget. As she contemplated calling him, she heard Rich's phone go off again. Maybe someone needed him. Heading into the brew room, she told Rich his office phone had been ringing. Rich headed there.

"Need me to help?" she asked Nigel.

"I'm good for a few. I'll call you if I do."

Entering the hallway to the offices, Tasha heard a phone ring again and knew it would be hers. She dashed in and managed to catch the receiver.

"Hello," she said breathlessly.

"Tasha?"

"Yes. Dane?"

"Yup. I have those figures you requested for the fruit sales."

"Great. Give me a second to walk around my desk."

Once settled she took the information, thanked Dane, and started playing on her spreadsheet.

"Knock knock," called a voice from the door.

Tasha looked up to find Nigel there. He looked worried.

"What's up? Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Rich's mum fell and broke her hip. By the time she dragged herself to a phone she'd gotten pretty beat up. She's in the ER for surgery. Rich headed over there, so I'll need your help later with the rest of the brew."

"Definitely. Is she going to be okay?"

"He seemed freaked out when he left. At her age, it could be quite serious."

Tasha's heart went out to both Rich and his mother. "Hopefully she'll realize living on her own is no longer a good idea. How many years has Rich been trying to get her into the retirement home?"

"At least four. Rich said he'd call me later, but I think it's reasonable to assume that with his mom in surgery, he'll need a few days off this week. Since taproom is in two days, he'd probably appreciate us finding someone to work the bar that night."

"Rafael might be interested," Tasha said. "He's never worked for us before, so I don't know what would need to be set up."

Nigel waved a hand. "He'd just need to go to Knight. It would take less than an hour. Has he already left for the pub?"

Tasha checked the time. "He's on shift now."

"I'll head over to the pub after work and ask him. In fact, can you join me for dinner? I want to run something by you. Or wait, Tuesday is dad's house?"

"Dad's on vacation this week. So I can do dinner."

"Great. I'll call you when I need you in the brew room. Or if I hear from Rich and the news is bad." Nigel looked concerned.

"She's a tough lady, Nige. Let's keep thinking positively."

"Right." He slipped out of the doorway.

When he disappeared Tasha let out a big sigh. Just when she thought she'd started carving out a niche for herself at the company, something came along to put her right back to square one as Assistant Brewmaster. Rich would need to take off time no matter what happened with his mom, which meant Tasha would be in the brew room. She liked brewing, but she'd really enjoyed the problem solving aspect of the last few weeks. Trying to make recipes and budgeting a new arm of the business challenged her in ways her usual duties didn't.

Would she be able to keep going with the winery side of the business? She didn't know what Nigel had planned. He may only want to produce enough wine, mead, and cider for thirty people on taproom nights. Or he might want do production runs and market the bottles around the state. Right now she could only hope he would prioritize that side of the business. Otherwise it would be a minor function of her job.

Feeling discouraged, Tasha went back to her spreadsheet and kept plugging away until her phone rang. Nigel requested her presence in the brew room.

"Did Rich call?" she asked.

"Yes. She's doing well after surgery. I'll tell you more when you get your lazy arse in here."

Tasha snorted. "Abusive employers are the worst."

"Take it up with the board of directors."

"The one that doesn't exist?" she asked archly.

"Precisely that one."

"Mm hmm. I'm coming."

Once she entered the brew room, Nigel filled her in on Rich's mother while they worked on cooling the brew. Mrs. Donovan would stay in the hospital for another two or three days. After that she'd be taken to Rich's house to be looked after for a few weeks. His wife, Mona, worked as a homemaker and full-time Mom, so she'd be able to take care of her mother-in-law, but Rich wanted to be caregiver while his Mom was likely to be crankiest. He'd requested the rest of that week and the entire next week off, asking if Nigel could keep him out of the taproom for the next two months. Nigel okayed both requests.

"Are you going to be alright stepping in for him?" he asked. "We can get one of the production line workers to help with the brew if you're not."

And watch them get her job? No, thanks. She might not be thrilled about losing the other duties, but this was her job to do.

"I can do it."

"I know you wanted to work on the mead, cider, and wines right now, but it would just be two weeks before getting back to that."

"My title is Assistant Brewmaster, so my job is assisting with the brew, not piddling around with other products."

Nigel frowned and looked like he might say something, but then he stopped himself. "I really appreciate you always be willing to help wherever you're needed. I'm very lucky to have someone with your knowledge and expertise onboard, because if anything does happen with Rich or I, you're there to keep us on track. You're a very important member of this team, Tash. I hope you know that."

She smiled, feeling better than she had for hours. "Thanks. You've always had my back, so I'll always have yours."

"That's a lot to promise. Always? What if I fuck everything up?"

"Then I'll figure out how to fix it. Like you said, we're all part of the team."

He grinned. "You're a good egg."

"So are you, boss. Alright, let's get some yeast up in this metal vagina."

Granted, they had to wait a few minutes for Nigel to stop laughing, but she felt like they got through the fermentation process alright without Rich. Once they'd stabilized everything, they headed to their respective offices.

Tasha set aside her proposal so she could work on recording the brew information. When Nigel swung by at five, she followed him to the pub. Entering, she found Rafael making a drink. When he finished he turned to Tasha and Nigel.

"Hey," he said, smiling. "What can I get you?"

Nigel spoke first. "My stout, and whatever Tasha wants. But first you can answer a question for me."

"What's that?" Rafael asked.  
"How would you feel about working six hours a week at the taproom starting this week and going for two, maybe three months?" Nigel threw out an hourly wage that seemed generous to Tasha.

Rafael's eyebrows lifted. "I'm down for that."

"Awesome." Nigel seemed to relax. "I'll email Cathy in the morning, so if you could head over to Knight Resources sometime tomorrow afternoon, that would be appreciated."

"I want to talk to her, so that's perfect," Rafael said.

Nigel looked relieved. "Great. I'm not sure how many months we'll need you because Rich is taking care of his mother. She broke her hip today."

Rafael handed Nigel the stout. "Sorry to hear that. Tasha, what did you want to drink?"

She picked one of the local cherry wines.

"We're going to do dinner, then I'll come chat," she told Rafael as she took the glass. He smiled and nodded.

Nigel headed to the hostess and said a few words, coming back with two menus, then led Tasha to the back room. He closed the door behind them.

"Are we discussing secrets?" she asked archly.

"I'd like to keep things as confidential as possible. My dad is going to wait on us so we don't have to worry about gossip."

"Should I be preparing my sexual harassment suit?"

He snickered. "This is good news, I assure you."

Good news? She liked good news. She stood up straighter. "What's the good news?"  
"I know I've only seemed to dabble in the winery side of the business so far, but I think it could be important for us. I'm ready to take it off the back burner and make it a priority. Granted, Rich's mother's accident came at a very unfortunate time, but you stepping up in his place just shows how worthy you are of this promotion."

Promotion? Her heart thumped wildly in her chest.

"Tash, I'd like to offer you the position of Head Beverage Master, which will put you in charge of the cider, mead, fruit and, hopefully some day, flower wine side of the business. Since we don't have anyone else dedicated to making those beverages, right now it means you'll be doing most of the labor in addition to the paperwork. When you need someone to help, you can borrow people from the production line. You'll do budgeting, purchasing, fermenting, and you'll need to work with Gino on getting labels designed. The production side will do the bottling. You'll coordinate with Sales and Kent about how we market. In fact, you'll need to talk to Kent before you talk to Gino. Anyway, I'm rambling. Non-beer has been your baby, and I want it to stay your baby. I trust that you and I can work together to make it an important part of our business. Right now I can only offer you a small raise because I've got to dedicate money towards supplies. If you accept the position, you'll get $5,000 more per year, starting next pay cycle. Do you need time to decide?"

Bless his heart, he looked nervous, like she might turn him down. Tasha felt the grin spread across her cheeks and spoke.

"No time needed. I want this. I want this so much."

Nigel grinned back. She hopped up and crossed to the other side of the table, bending down to hug him. He patted her back. Frank Underhill walked in right as she pulled away.

"Goodness, what am I interrupting?" he teased.

"Tash is going to be my Head Beverage Master," Nigel said proudly.

Frank's eyebrows lifted. "That's fantastic, Tash. Is he giving you a raise?"

Tasha grinned. "He is."

"That's our boy," Frank said. "I think this calls for some champagne. I'll get that as soon as I get your food in. What can I get you two?"

They ordered their meals, then Frank headed out.

"I can't believe I get to do the part of the job I really love full-time now," Tasha said.

Nigel's eyes lit up. "You like it so far?"  
"It's so challenging. I'm having a lot of fun."

"Brilliant."

"I assume I'll still need to help out with the brewing?" she asked.

"Only for the next two weeks. Beyond that I'd like you to work on getting the cider ready to sell since that's a fast fermentation process. We'll hand your brewing duties off to Rachel."

"That sounds wonderful. I'm so glad to be able to devote all my time to my department. My department." She did a little wriggle dance.

He laughed. "I'm really chuffed you're chuffed about this."

"Well, I'm American, so I'm actually happy, but you can be chuffed if it makes you feel better."

He snickered. "Smartarse. Seriously, though, you are smart outside of your arse, and I'm happy I can finally give you a title that reflects your competence."

"That's so sweet, Nige. I'm really excited to be able to say I've finally reached my career goals with this move."

"Good."

"Now I just need to get my love life figured out." She made a face.

Nigel's face fell. "I know what you mean."

Tasha frowned. "Are things with Shauntelle not going well?"

"We broke up Saturday, actually. Things had been rocky. Then we went to her family's Fourth of July celebration, and the whole experience sucked. They all talked about pop culture I don't watch or listen to, which I didn't bother pretending to be interested in, and by dinnertime she seemed embarrassed to be with me."

"Damn. I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "It happens. Jocasta and I have talked a lot about our cultural disconnect with many black Americans. We're indie rock kids whose parents are from other countries. Relating to folks in Sleepy Sands is easy because we have our own culture, but outside of town there's this overarching black identity that I don't belong to."

"You've mentioned that before. I imagine it makes dating harder."

"I date women from every ethnic background, so it isn't always an issue. Still, even with my options open I haven't found the girl of my dreams."

"You'll find her," Tasha said comfortingly. "You're a great guy. Some woman is going to see that and lock you down."

"What about you? Anything going on with you and Rafael?"

"No. Well, almost. No. No."

His eyebrow lifted. "Mixed signals, Yancey. Did something happen or not?"

"Kind of?" She spread her hands.

"Why don't you kind of get on that, because he looks a wee bit more than kind of interested."

"You think?" she asked eagerly.

"He lit up the second he saw you tonight, and the man is already shamefully cheerful. Somehow you turn him up from level ten to level eleven."

"How very aging rock band of you, Nigel."

"Don't change the subject. How do you feel about him?"

She deflated. "I like him, but he's recovering from a bad relationship. And I'm recovering from a bad relationship. So however much I may want something to happen, it won't."

"Maybe not right now, but I wouldn't rule out the future. Recovery happens. I spent Saturday night drinking and Sunday morning making pie with Cassie, and other than being grumpy about not getting laid, I'm totally over Shauntelle. I didn't even think about her at the barbecue Sunday."

"So you're ready to move on?" He blushed and she grinned. "Shit, who did you do?"

"Is that really appropriate for a work related conversation?"

"Piss off, Nigel. Who did you hook up with?"

"Odette."

Tasha threw back her head and laughed. "You and French girls."

"I'll have you know there have only been three French girls."

"You're twenty-seven. Three is a pretty high number."

He waved the thought away. "Two of them were at uni. One of whom barely counts. We dated for a week."

"You got drunk and told her you wanted to marry her cunt."

"It was not my finest hour, I'll admit."

She snorted. "It was not your soberest hour, either."

"Can we talk about the things you did at university? I'm sure you have plenty to be embarrassed about."

"Well, they didn't involve French girls," she sassed.

They both busted out laughing at the same time.

"Champagne makes me silly," Nigel said.

"Same."

"About Rafael, he's a good guy. If you have feelings for him, you should explore that. Life is short, and sex is the best. Even better than beer, because sex doesn't lead to hangovers."

Tasha laughed. "Maybe, but you don't have to sit there and figure out what a beer wants."

He laughed, too. "There is that. But the question isn't what Rafael wants. The question is, what do you want?"

"Way to kill the mood, Underhill."

"Are you experiencing all the feels now?"

"Maybe. When did you start not liking Geoffrey?"

Nigel shrugged. "Honestly, I've always thought Geoffrey was a wanker and you were too good for him."

"Really?"

Emphatic nodding was his only answer.

"What did I see in him?" Tasha asked.

"Safety? Comfort? What did I see in Shauntelle? Someone nice enough who turned me on."

"I wasted years of my life with that... wanker."

Nigel shrugged. "So don't waste any more time getting over him."

"I feel like I'm there. But however close I am, Rafael's wound is more fresh."

"I'm sure his ex did a number on him. Women," Nigel said scathingly.

Tasha threw her napkin at his face. He laughed, which made her laugh. "You're such a punkass. I can't believe my boss is less mature than I am."

"Which, to be fair, is not a very high bar," he said.

"Exactly."

"But we're good, right? This promotion is what you want?"

Her heart warmed at the anxious look on his face. As much as they teased each other, Nigel and she had a very caring relationship.

"It's exactly what I want," she said. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. You've earned it, trust me. You've had the ideas and kept talking about it until I made it happen. You do realize we'll have to go through all sorts of shite to rename the company Sleeping Beer and Beverages?"

"Aww," she said with peppy sarcasm, "world's smallest violin."

"Just for that I'm making you do the paperwork."

"I would, boss, but I'm kind of busy the next two weeks."

Nigel looked sad again. "Yeah. Did you want dessert?"

"I do, actually. Your dad kind of sucks at this whole waiter thing."

He snickered. "I'm telling him you said that."

"Don't you dare."

An eyebrow lifted. "Oh? What will you give me if I don't?"

"A blow job," she said with a completely straight face. The comical disgust he exhibited made her explode with laughter. "The look on your face!"

"That was not a work appropriate comment. I'm going to have to go to HR with this, Yancey."

"Would that write up happen before or after yours for calling me a lazy arse?"

He grinned. "I think we can both agree my dad is the lazy arse. Ten to one he's forgotten we're in here. Let's go to the main room and get dessert there. Maybe someone's got a table going."

"Should we bus this?"

"Have you ever worked in food service, Tasha?"

"No."

"Do you even know how to bus a table?"

"No."

"Then let's leave it to the experts. Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the doors.

It suddenly occurred to Tasha that she wanted Rafael to be the one grabbing her hand and pulling her places. Maybe she should work harder to make that happen, since clearly he wouldn't get there on his own.

### Chapter 10: Rafael

Rafael glared at the back room. Tasha and Nigel had been in there for quite a while with their bottle of champagne. He had no idea what they could be celebrating when Nigel's employee's mom had broken her hip. They should be making her a get well basket, not drinking in a private room. If they had to do something work related, why didn't they do it at the office? He felt a rumble of jealousy pass his lips.

Then Nigel came barreling into the room holding Tasha's hand, and Raf seriously contemplated punching the guy. Nigel scanned the room, then dragged Tasha toward a table with Cara's brother, Tom, his girlfriend Jocasta, and Mikey and Heather's brother, Tommy. He'd met Jocasta and Tommy over the weekend at their Fourth of July party. Great people. Luckily Nigel didn't manhandle Tasha once they got to the booth. He scooted in next to Jocasta, who turned to hug Nigel. Christ. Why was everyone hanging all over that guy? Tasha didn't seem to care about the hugging. She just slipped into the other side of the booth with Tommy.

"Shite."

Rafael turned to find Frank staring at the table. "What's wrong?"

"I completely forgot about Nigel and Tasha being in the back room and needing me to wait on them. He's never going to let me live this down."

Raf grinned. "Tell him if he wants this pub as an inheritance he best shut up about it."

Frank laughed. "Actually, he can't get the pub because he can't own a bar and a brewery. But I like the way you think. I don't know if it's in your plans, but you'd make a good father."

Swallowing hard, Raf watched Frank walk over to his son's table. He'd told Tasha the complete truth about kids. Part of him yearned for that, but he couldn't do it. He just couldn't. Not after Diego's death. That kind of loss never went away. It stayed with you like a rotting spot on your heart.

Tasha and Nigel seemed to be teasing Frank, who teased them back. The entire table started laughing. Frank walked toward the kitchen, so apparently they didn't have a new drink order.

Just then Tasha looked over at him and smiled brightly. She hopped up and walked to the bar.

"Guess what?" she asked excitedly.

"You don't have a ring on your left hand, so clearly you didn't get engaged."

She cocked her head. "What?"

He decided to lose the attitude. "What happened?"

"I got a promotion!" Tasha told him all about the new position she'd be in, and he realized she now had one less thing stressing her out. Nigel had given her that.

"I'm really happy for you," he said.

"You don't look happy."

"Are you and Nigel dating now?" Rafael blurted out.

Tasha looked at him like he'd gone crazy. "He's like a brother to me. Why would you ask that? Wait, are you jealous?"

Raf opened his mouth to scoff, but he realized he couldn't lie to her. Ever. About anything. "Yes."

Her face softened. "I'm not interested in Nigel. And he's definitely not interested in me. He's actually a little sad because his girlfriend dumped him this weekend."

Glancing over at Nigel, Raf found the man laughing with his friends, completely oblivious to Tasha coming over. If Nigel had any interest in Tasha, he'd have been watching her like a hawk, because that's what Rafael did.

"Sounds like Nigel needs an Ex-scape," he said.

Tasha's brow wrinkled cutely. "A what?"

"It's one of my signature cocktails. Cognac with lemonade and grenadine."

"Ooh, I want one."

"Two coming up."

"What time are you getting off?"

He glanced at his watch. "Thirty-five minutes."

"Come sit with us once you're done, then. I think we'll still be here. I'm a little too tipsy to drive."

Raf laughed. "I don't think another drink will help with that."

"I'll have a coffee afterward. But at the point that we're handing around drinks that make you celebrate being rid of your ex, I want mine, too."

He made up the two drinks and handed them off. "I'll add them to Nigel's tab."

"Absolutely. He needs to spoil me for agreeing to work for his cranky ass." She grinned and headed back to her table.

When Nigel saw the drink he perked up. He waved at Rafael, who nodded. Nigel took a measured drink and then his eyes rolled up into his head. He made a thumbs up sign so Rafael could see. Tasha drank hers and her mouth formed that cute little 'o' it always did. She grinned his way and put both thumbs up. Raf grinned back. Then one of the waiters came up to the bar, and Raf returned to work mode.

At the end of his shift, Raf logged out and mixed his own Ex-scape. He told the night bartender how to charge it, then headed over to the table.

"Rafael!" Tasha said brightly. "Sit."

"Hello Jocasta, Tom, and Tommy." Raf sat next to Tasha, and she looked at him adoringly. Fuck. She always seemed so cute and sexy. And sexy. And cute. Fuck. How could he resist her?

"Thanks for the drink, mate," Nigel said. "Exactly what I needed to get that woman out of my life forever."

Raf lifted his. "I made one myself. I figured every nail in the coffin helps."

"What is this?" Tommy asked.

"Nigel, Tasha and I are drinking my special Ex-scape cocktail. It's the perfect way to get that imperfect person out of your mind."

"Nice," Tommy said. "Though I haven't broken up with anyone lately. I seem to still be dating two... no, I guess it's three women."

Jocasta raised an eyebrow. "You don't know how many women you're dating?"

"C'mon, Casta, you know those girls. It varies by the week."

"You're a mess, Tommy," she said.

"A hot mess," he taunted.

"Yeah, but the hot does not make up for the mess," Tasha said.

Tommy put a hand to his chest. "That hurts. That really hurts."

"I'll take 'times Tommy doesn't give a flying shite' for two thousand," Nigel said snarkily.

"What is 'every moment of every day?'" Jocasta asked in an excited game contestant way.

"Fuck you both," Tommy said. "Find a new drummer."

"You play drums by any chance?" Nigel asked Raf.

He laughed. "Only guitar, and not well."

"I bet you're really good," Tasha said. "Really passionate."

"I'm passionate about everything," he said.

A dopey smile crossed her face. Dang, Tasha had gotten smashed. He didn't know whether to hope for a repeat of the last time Tasha got drunk or not. He had at least bought a box of condoms. Just in case.

"You are so fucking trashed," Nigel said to Tasha.

"Fuck you, Nigel."

"Not in this lifetime or any other."

"I didn't mean I would fuck you," Tasha sassed. "I meant you should fuck you, because you're the only person who wants to."

"Racking up the HR write ups tonight, aren't you Yancey?" Nigel asked.

"Yeah, well, my boss is a prit," she said.

Nigel gave her some serious side eye. "Do you mean, a Brit?"

"No, like when someone's a jerk."

Nigel said, "I think you mean prat," right as Rafael said, "I think you mean git."

Tasha looked between them. "What?"

"Git," Raf said.

"Or prat," added Nigel.

"Not prit?" Tasha asked, cutely confused.

"Definitely not," Nigel said firmly.

"Oh, well. I don't speak British," she said.

"It's English, and yes, you do," Tommy said.

"At least you try to," Nigel added.

"I do," she said huffily. "This is the best drink ever. Which is good, because Geoffrey was the worst ex ever. He cheated on me. Cheated. On me. What an ass, right?"

"Total git prat wanker fuckboy," Nigel said.

"Yeah!" She nodded her head emphatically, and Raf had to stop himself from kissing her forehead.

"I mean, just exes in general, you know?" Tommy asked rhetorically. "Fuck them."

"Right up the arse," said Nigel.

"I moved away from mine," Raf said. "It's a solid plan."

Nigel's eyes widened. "That's a good one, mate. Maybe I could just not ever go to Traverse City."

Jocasta's 'bitch please' look turned Nigel's way. "You can't avoid going to Traverse City forever."

"I guess I'd need the airport. But the rest? Fuck it. Fuck it right up the arse." Nigel tossed back another gulp.

"Why would you get mad at an entire city just because your ex is a bitch?" Tasha asked.

"Whoa, language, Yancey," Tommy said. "We don't use the b-word. Casta finds it triggering."

Jocasta lifted her head gracefully. "I would tell you to fuck yourself, Tommy, but you're completely beneath me."

"He better not ever be beneath you," Tom said from the corner.

Rafael wondered if Tom's voice sounded so gravelly because he rarely used it, or if he just happened to sound like a sixty-year-old country singer with a pack a day habit.

Jocasta smiled at him. "No one but you, dearest. No one before, and there won't ever be an after."

How romantic.

"That's so weird," Tommy said. "You two have never had sex with other people? Like how do you know you even want to be together if you have no one to compare each other to?"

Jocasta sent Tommy a withering look. "Well, we love each other, Tommy, so we don't need to compare anyone."

"Still, you have zero exes," Tasha said. "So like, how do you know exes suck? You don't."

"Yeah, this whole 'high school sweetheart' thing is unhealthy," said Nigel. "You're so consumed with each other now, but you'll hit forty and realize you've never shagged another human being. Then to make up for it you'll have your anniversary in Vegas, and end up in different hotel rooms surrounded by hookers and blow."

"Right, that's exactly what's going to happen." Jocasta's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Hey, don't underestimate the appeal of hookers and blow," Raf said.

"A-fucking-men," said Tommy. "You think you want this normal life thing, but wait until thirty-nine is in your rearview mirror. Mid. Life. Crisis."

Jocasta turned his way. "Rafael, you've been around the world. Have you ever met a male hooker better looking than Tom?"

"Is a male hooker a mooker?" Tasha asked.

Tommy looked at her scathingly. "You work at a fucking brewery, and you can't hold your alcohol?"

"Lay off my fucking employee, arseface," Nigel said.

Raf ignored the others and turned to Jocasta. "I can't say that I have, but despite what people think, models aren't actually prostitutes."

"That's a damn shame," Tasha announced.

"Not to make you uncomfortable, mate, but you would make a top level mooker," Nigel said to Raf.

"Thanks, man," Rafael said. "I have to say I love that Tom has sat through this entire ridiculous conversation and said literally one line."

"Tom is a man of few words," Tasha said, "but many ways of giving people shade."

Jocasta grinned. "A man doesn't need to say much other than 'I love you.'"

A silly smile crossed Tasha's face. "That's super romantic."

On reflection, Rafael decided he could be quite happy if he could only ever say 'I love you,' as long as he said it to Tasha. Even though he didn't love her yet, he could see that happening faster than he'd be ready for it to. Though what if he did say it, and she answered the same, then things went sideways? He'd lose someone who'd become one of his closest friends. Being roommates with Tasha made him truly happy. He didn't want to lose that. He couldn't jump into something with her until he felt one hundred percent ready. Trying to rush things would end up with them apart, not together.

As the storm of Nigel, Jocasta and Tommy insulting each other raged on (and seriously, those insults would break up a lesser band), Rafael stared at Tasha, who turned and looked at him in a wistful manner. Where did they go from here? If they couldn't go fast, and they wouldn't wait for slow, what did that leave? Did any version of their story end with a happily ever after? Or were they too caught up in their own troubles to truly come together? He wished he knew what to do next. What was the right move when it came to Tasha?

She looked as intently into his eyes as he did in hers. Caught up in the moment, Raf leaned forward, thinking he might kiss her, when suddenly she belched so loudly the entire pub stopped talking and stared at their table.

"Sorry," Tasha said cheerfully, waving at the room. "Too much champagne and romance."

The others started cracking up, and Rafael found himself chuckling along. She seemed so good-natured about having become the center of attention.

She turned to Raf again and put her hand on his arm. "I want to put on sweatpants. Will you drive me home?"

"Your carriage awaits," he said, getting out of the booth and putting out a hand to pull her up. She followed ungracefully. "Can we leave her car here overnight?" he asked Nigel.

"Tom and I drove together, so we can drop the car at yours when we leave," Jocasta said. "Tasha, can I have the keys?"

Tasha pulled them out of her pocket theatrically and placed them into Jocasta's hands. "I trust you to drive my new car, Casta."

"Thank you. I'll be very careful."

"That's so sweet." Tasha turned to Rafael. "I have sweet friends."

"You do." He led her outside and opened the passenger door, helping her get in his car. Closing the door, he came around and found her still struggling with the seatbelt. He snapped it into place and turned the car on. Music filled the air. Tasha started singing along. At first he got excited that she knew the music he listened to, but then he realized she'd started singing something completely different. Apparently it sounded enough like that song to drunkass Tasha. His lady cracked him up.

His lady? She had not become his lady. He needed to stop sending them down the path when they hadn't even gotten through the front gate. Thinking deeply about what he ought to do with Tasha, he didn't notice the silence until he pulled into their driveway. He turned to her and found she'd fallen asleep. With a smile, he went around and unbuckled her, lifting her into his arms and carrying her up to unlock the door. Inside he took her all the way up to the bedroom, setting her down and taking off her shoes. He tucked her sheet over her. After returning to the car to get her purse and lock the doors, he came up and checked on her. She'd started snoring, but not a typical snore. She sounded like a cat's purr. She even snored cutely. How could he resist her?

Going into his room, he changed into pajama pants, sat on his desk chair, and looked toward her bedroom.

He wanted to be with her.

He didn't feel ready to be with her.

That seemed like a pretty big problem. So how on earth would he manage to solve it?

After staying up late staring at the wall, Rafael overslept Wednesday. Tasha had left by the time he got up, which meant he didn't get to tease her about last night. When he got to the coffeemaker he found she'd left a note.

'Raf – since I don't remember going inside last night you must have carried me. Thank you! Best roommate ever. –Tash'

While he couldn't see the smile that tugged up his lips, he knew it looked sappy as hell. That woman. She made him happy – happier than any woman had ever made him, to be honest. He'd thought he had something magical with Genevieve, but looking back, he couldn't recall having half as many smiles and laughs as he'd had in a few weeks with Tasha. That said something to him right there. He'd escaped the wrong woman. And he better damn well get his shit together and figure out whether Tasha could be the right one.

After catching up with emails and social media, he made himself a sandwich and headed over to Knight Resources. The stylish man at the front desk handed over some forms for Rafael to fill out and took his drivers license and social security card to make copies.

"I'd hoped I could speak with Ms. Knight while I was here about an unrelated matter," Raf said.

"Nigel mentioned that, so let me see if she's available." He picked up his phone and after a brief conversation hung up and directed Raf to the office at the end of the hallway.

An older woman with grey hair stood up and shook his hand when he entered. "I'm Cathy. Nice to meet you, Mr. Santos."

"Call me Rafael. Nice to meet you, too."

"I understand you're looking to bring your family to Sleepy Sands for work?"

"That's right," he said. "Things look pretty good for my sister and father, but I still need to find something for my mother to do. She works in a medical equipment factory, and it's basic line work. While she's clever and adaptable, I don't know that her previous employment would be enough to justify a company hiring her for something she's never done before."

Cathy frowned. "Hmm. That's problematic. We're best off bringing her in on something we actually have a shortage of people doing. What jobs did she do before the factory?"

"As a young woman she helped out on her parents' farm, but she's not at an age where she can do that kind of physical labor. After she married my father she got pregnant with me, then she raised her children for years."

"Would she be interested in working as a nanny or at the daycare? Sometimes we have difficulty filling those positions. I don't need anyone right now, but that might be the best route to take."

He thought about it and realized she might actually prefer that. "I can ask her. She loves kids, so I think that would appeal to her. Would we have to wait for a specific job to open?"

"Yes, unfortunately. And it would have to be a full-time job or combination of jobs that would last at least one year. Unfortunately a lot of our nanny situations are for the summer, or for part-time work. I'm not saying it's impossible, because with the university coming our demand for childcare will be at an all-time high. However, I have no guarantee over when I would have something available for her."

Rafael tried to hide his disappointment. He appreciated Cathy telling him the truth, and he now had at least a possibility of getting his mom a job, but it may not happen by the time his father and sister could find work. He could hopefully get her here being married to his working dad, but it would make life easier if he could find her a solid job.

He'd never had to worry about his own immigration. As a successful model, he'd gotten approved on achievements in art. He didn't know how standing there looking pretty counted as an artistic achievement, but his lawyer made it work. Maybe Raf had been the object of art? Who knew. The point was, his mother didn't have a modeling career. Her education had been mostly self-taught, and though she had a lot of emotional strength, hiring managers weren't necessarily looking for 'dealing with my child's cancer' as a marketable skill.

For a moment he railed at the unfairness of the capitalist world, but then he reminded himself most of his career had been based on his physical appearance, so he'd been one of the lucky ones. He didn't exactly have the experience of busting his ass at a factory or on a construction site like his parents did. Sure, he worked hard in the ways he could, and he always maintained his professional demeanor, but he didn't do back-breaking labor like his parents did. Yet somehow his skills were the ones considered 'better' by governments. His parents, who did thankless but necessary jobs, were considered replaceable.

He thanked Cathy for her time and finished up at the front desk before heading home. There he pulled up a new email to his mom and asked about her interest in a daycare or nanny job. She didn't do a lot with email, but Gabriela had a laptop and insisted their parents check for emails from Raf on a regular basis. He called Saturday or Sunday mornings, but didn't want to interrupt them with evening phone calls during the workweek.

He'd already discussed job possibilities with his dad and Gabs, and they seemed more interested in coming to Sleepy Sands than they ever had with New York. He supposed when you lived in São Paulo, one huge city felt the same as another. But a small town would remind them of life before that. It helped that he'd been putting up pictures on his social media, and all three of his family had ooh'd and aah'd over the landscape. Though different from Brazil, it clearly caught their fancy. Much as it caught his fancy.

Though, to be honest, it wasn't just the natural surroundings that interested him. He also loved the people. Especially the one person he lived with that never failed to make him smile. When she came home tonight and he got to share his worries over getting his mother work, Tasha would know exactly what to say to make him feel better. She brought sunshine to his life. He wondered what he brought to hers. Probably confusion over whether he wanted to be with her, which had to be stressful. He sighed. If he wanted to be the man Tasha needed, he had work to do.

### Chapter 11: Tasha

Being in the brew room all day Thursday meant Tasha had plenty of time to daydream. Her mind could only focus on one fantasy, though – Rafael's dick in her body. By the time they'd completed the fermentation, she'd imagined him boning her so often she felt like they actually had. When he showed up to learn his taproom duties, she had to remind herself they hadn't fucked yet.

Yet. She wouldn't settle for never. There had better damn well be a time his cock got inserted into her vagina, thrusting became part of the picture, and orgasms finished up the night. That. Would. Happen.

Tasha showed him the ropes, then the weekly food order came in to eat before the taproom opened.

"This is a definite perk," Rafael said as he finished eating a bite of naan doused in palak paneer. "Why haven't I ordered the palak paneer at Saffron and Cumin before? Was I crazy?"

Tasha smiled. "You were busy trying other things."

"If this is the way Manesh Patel cooks, I understand Heather being hung up on him," he said. "I might be interested in marrying the guy myself."

That made her laugh. "He's dating someone right now, so I think your chances are low."

"We would have a totally open relationship." He shrugged.

She shook her head. "If you married everyone in Sleepy Sands who cooked well, you'd be a bigamist times ten."

"On the upside, one of those marriages would be to you." He gave her an easy grin, but there seemed to be something serious gleaming in his eye. Tasha laughed, though she didn't find them ending up married particularly funny.

After dinner Nigel, Rafael, and Tasha took their places behind the bar. Tasha had just welcomed a couple of tourists when she turned to find Seraphina Cohen holding a stack of postcards.

"Hey, Sera. What've you got?"

"The cards for the animal adoption fair this weekend."

"Awesome," Tasha said. "Put them in a few stacks around the bar."

"Wonderful. Are you coming?" Sera asked.

Tasha opened her mouth to say her husband didn't like pets, then remembered that rote answer no longer applied. With her ex being history, she could have as many animals as she wanted. She just needed to make sure Rafael could handle that. She smiled. "You know, I think I might."

It took a while before bar traffic slowed enough that Tasha could talk to Rafael. Judging from his sunny smile, he'd been having a good time.

"How goes it?" she asked.

"I'm having fun. Pouring is a lot easier than mixing. I think I'm getting overpaid."

"Part of the pay is customer service, and that smile makes people very happy."

"Aww. Is that your way of saying I have a nice smile?" Raf winked.

"You do have a nice smile. Hey, do you have any animal allergies?"

"None. Thinking about the pet fair this weekend?" he asked.

"Yeah. I had pets growing up, but my ex didn't want them. With him hasta la vista-ing, I wanted to check how my new roomie feels."

He smiled. "I'd love to have animals around the house. Growing up we couldn't afford a pet, but once I got settled in New York I adopted a cat. She died about the time my ex and I started dating. The ex had allergies, so I couldn't get another one. But now that the ex has gone 'bye bitch', I'd be happy to be a fur dad again."

"Yay, we get to be pet parents."

Raf sent a dazzling smile her way then turned to take an order.

On her break she found Cara and Mikey in an argument over whether they should get a cat at the fair, with Mikey saying his dog wouldn't like it, and Cara saying their dog got lonely and would love one. Heather kept looking at the postcard jealously, but Tasha knew with the size of Heather's apartment a third cat wouldn't be feasible.

"Do you have pets?" Tasha asked Adam.

"We had a dog growing up. I just worry I'll be too busy next year to really appreciate one."

"Would you consider a cat?" she asked.

Adam appeared to contemplate that. "I've never had a cat. I don't dislike them, but I've never been around one friendly enough to want my own."

"They tend to save their love for their owners," Tasha said. "Rafael and I are going to the fair if you want to meet us there."

"See, Tasha and Rafael are getting pets," Cara said, slapping the table.

Mikey sighed. "You'll already be there for the face painting. I'm just saying we shouldn't look at the animals, or you're going to want one."

"What is so wrong with that?" she asked hotly.

Tasha checked her watch. "And that's my break time. Catch you kids later."

Heather and Adam gave her pleading looks, but she walked back to the bar.

"What's that smile for?" Rafael asked as she walked behind the bar.

"Cara and Mikey are going all mortal combat over whether they should get another pet."

"I hope we agree on the ones we like Sunday," he said.

She hadn't even thought of that. "We can each get our favorite."

"So it's our personal pet." He looked saddened.

It took her a minute to get why – if he moved out, they'd have no problems splitting the pets up. If they adopted together, it would be a sign of them believing in their partnership for the long run.

"No," she said firmly. "These are our pets together. But we should be able to get the one we like best because that way we're both happy."

Rafael smiled. "Okay. I can get behind that."

When they got to the parking lot at the civic center Sunday morning, Tasha discovered a whole lot more animals than she'd guessed. The lady at the front welcomed them.

"What happens to the animals that don't get adopted?" Tasha asked.

"All of them are from no kill shelters, or they have foster families. It's kind of a crazy week for us, because we drive down to bigger cities and pick up animals at kill shelters, then arrange places for them here. Luckily we always get a good turnout and places open up."

"Do you adopt from kill shelters any other time of year?" Rafael asked.

The lady nodded. "Sleepy Sands shelter doesn't get a lot of pets in because people don't abandon them. Whenever we have adoptions we replace from kill shelters."

"That's awesome," he said.

"Thanks," she said. "The shelter can't take donations, but the Leelanau-Benzie Animal Society does."

Tasha donated to the Society yearly, as well as the other non-profit organizations Seraphina Cohen managed. Sera acted as Executive Director of the Leelanau-Benzie Animal Society, the Leelanau-Benzie Health Organization, and the Leelanau-Benzie Food and Goods Bank. Each town in the Leelanau and Benzie counties had their own chapter with local management and oversight, meaning they could have programs most relevant to their location.

Rafael wanted to stop by the Animal Society booth, where he made a generous donation before escorting Tasha to Cara's face painting booth. As soon as Cara finished brightening a little girl's face she turned to Tasha.

"What do you want, Tash? I can do a paw for five dollars or a cat or dog face for ten dollars. Aside from the cost of paint, the rest is donation."

"I want a paw because I can't decided between a cat or dog."

Cara started painting and Tasha sat very still.

"What about you, Rafael? You going to paint up?" Cara asked.

"I'm secure enough in my masculinity to walk around with face paint. In fact, I want a dog and cat face, one on each cheek."

"Ooh, big spender. I like it. My brother has a dog face, so you won't be alone."

Tasha saw Heather and Adam walking up. "Hey, you two. Heather, are you torturing yourself looking at pets you can't have?"

Heather grinned. "I'm helping Adam pick out a cat or two."

Adam smiled. "I hung out at Heather's all day yesterday and her cats finally decided they liked me. Once Storm sat on my lap, I was a goner."

"You two getting tats?" Rafael teased.

"I don't believe in gang signs," Heather said haughtily. They cracked up. "I'm totally getting a cat face because I'm a cat lady."

"I think I'll stick to a paw," said Adam.

Cara finished Tasha, who popped off the chair so Rafael could sit.

"Is Mikey here?" Adam asked.

"He's at work. He just wants to police my actions today." Cara rolled her eyes.

"I feel like this fight is turning a little serious," Tasha said.

Shrugging, Cara swirled her brush in a pot of color. "I guess."

Tasha and Heather looked at each other.

"Do you want to hang out after the fair?" asked Tasha.

"No," said Cara. "I want to hang out with my new cat. And if Mikey doesn't like that, he can boil his balls in vinegar."

"Epic visual," Adam said with a straight face.

"Stop smiling, Raf, I'm going to mess up the paint."

Rafael went back to a stoic mask so Cara could finish.

After all four of them got cute cheeks, they left Cara behind and went up the first aisle of cats.

"Any color or breed preference?" Tasha asked Rafael.

He shook his head. "I want whoever decides I'm their person."

She grinned. "Good way to do things."

They stopped by every single cage to look in and say hi. Adam and Heather wandered because Adam wanted a black cat.

They heard plaintive meows halfway down the first row.

"That's a sweetie that's not at all happy," Rafael said sympathetically.

They passed three cages until they got in front of the meower, who turned out to be a big white cat.

"Hey, baby, what's the matter?" Rafael asked cajolingly. "You tired of being outside already? It's nice today. You might even get a suntan."

The cat stopped meowing and stared at him.

"That's the first time she's shut up all day," the attendant said gratefully.

"What's this pretty girl's name?" asked Rafael.

"Ileana."

"Ileana, huh?" Rafael cooed. "What a pretty name for such a pretty girl. Oh, look at that, she cheers right up when I say her name. Hey, Ileana. You're just precious." He looked up at the attendant. "What's Ileana's story?"

"She's twelve, a senior cat. Her previous owner was an older woman who passed away, and the daughter lives in an apartment that doesn't take pets. Ileana's sweet, but her little heart was broken when her owner died. She often meows plaintively. She seems to really like you."

"I really like her. She's a classy lady, aren't you, Ileana?"

Rafael clearly wanted to bond with this cat, and the cat only had eyes for him.

"I'm going to grab some lemonade," Tasha said. "Do you want some, Rafael?"

"That would be great," he said, never looking away from Ileana.

Tasha headed over and paid for two cups. She walked back up the row and watched Rafael interact with the cat that would so obviously be theirs after today.

"I think we should take Ileana home with us," Tasha said when she got to the cage.

Rafael looked up gratefully. "I like that plan."

She handed him his lemonade, which he took and drank.

He looked at the attendant. "What forms do I have to fill out?"

Ileana had come up to the front of the cage, and seemed unhappy about Rafael's distraction.

"Hey, Ileana, I'm going to live with you, too," Tasha said, holding out her arm. The cat sniffed her, rubbed against her fingers, then turned back to stare at Rafael. "So it's going to be like that." Not that she could blame the cat. She wanted to stare at Rafael all day, too.

Rafael got everything sorted out and petted Ileana. "Baby, you're gonna have to sit here for a bit, because we need to get you a friend or two. Can you be my good girl and not meow while I'm gone?"

Ileana purred so loudly Tasha could hear her. Rafael blew the kitty a kiss and walked to the next cage. No meows chased them, so they continued down the row. Raf still interacted with all the cats, but didn't charm them quite so much. He clearly found his baby girl and anyone else they came home with would be a bonus. Tasha paid attention to the new furballs, but didn't have an a-ha moment until she got to a long-haired grey tabby with blue eyes. Older than a kitten, but not fully grown, the cat looked energetic but adoring.

"Aren't you precious." Tasha glanced at the card on the cage and saw he was Jonathan Swift, and he'd recently turned one. "Do you have a nickname, Jonathan Swiftkitty?"

Jonathan Swiftkitty meowed cutely and bumped his side against the bars. His fur felt divine. Tasha called him Swifty as she petted him, which he seemed to like.

"Be warned. If you ever call him Nifty Swifty, I'm moving out," said Rafael.

Tasha laughed. "I think I'll stick with Jonathan Swiftkitty when I feel like saying a mouthful."

"Do you want to see the other cats, or have you found your new buddy?"

"He's coming home. We should see if he and Ileana get along."

Rafael smiled. "Let me get her cage and see what she thinks."

He came back hauling the rather big cage and set it next to Swifty. The two cats sized each other up, looking unimpressed, but after a minute walked forward and touched noses. After a thorough sniffing they pulled apart. Swifty seemed fascinated, but Ileana decided to flirt with Raf some more.

While Tasha did the adoption paperwork, Rafael put Ileana's cage on the ground and sat down to hang out with her. Tasha found out Jonathan liked having toys to play with, had been around children and other pets in his foster journey, and loved being brushed. After an 'ADOPTED' sign got put on his cage, Rafael and she continued moseying.

"Are you taking Ileana in her cage as we walk? Isn't that heavy?" she asked.

"It's no big deal. And she should have a say in anyone else we pick."

That man had fallen hard. Tasha found it too cute for words. They did the rest of that row, then went up the last cat row, but no one else jumped out at them. They saw an adopted sign on a cage with two kittens – a black boy and a calico girl. Adam and Heather walked up.

Tasha turned. "I thought these two might be yours."

Adam held up carriers. "Their carriages await."

"We're headed to the pet store since their booth here just has basics," Heather said. "I see you found one cat already."

"We found two. Jonathan Swiftkitty is still in his cage," Tasha said.

"Oh, I remember him. He's so precious. That'll be perfect. And who's this little one?"

Rafael beamed at Heather. "This is Ileana. She's my pretty baby."

Heather's cheeks turned slightly pink, and Tasha understood why. Rafael's affection tended to tingle everyone's girl parts.

"She's beautiful," Heather said. "And these two are going to be a lot of fun for Adam. He'll be home while they're growing up, and once he's working full-time, they'll have each other to be amused."

"So what are their names?" Tasha asked.

"They had crappy names," Adam said. "So the black boy is now Dubstep and the calico girl is Psy-Trance."

Yeah, Adam was definitely a deejay.

"They're adorable," Tasha said.

"I might do a party next weekend so everyone can bring their pets over." Adam smiled, pulling up his carriers to look at his cats. "Dub, Psy, we're ready to go. Say goodbye to aunt Tasha and uncle Raf."

Tasha's jaw nearly dropped when the two cats meowed in unison. Adam and Heather walked off happily with their genius kids, and Rafael stopped fussing over Ileana.

"Do you want to look at dogs?" Rafael asked.

"I don't know. Do you?"

"Yes."

She grinned. "Oh, good, because I totally do."

Rafael laughed and kept a firm hand on Ileana's cage. They walked down the first aisle of dogs without seeing anyone who caught their fancy. The dogs seemed split into the 'every human is great' and 'I'm terrified out of my mind' categories. Tasha and Rafael offered hands to both equally. On the next aisle they stopped off in front of a pretty German Shepherd's cage, but Ileana started hissing like crazy, and the dog barked. They hurried onward.

Walking down the final aisle Tasha realized they probably wouldn't be adopting a dog today. For some reason that disappointed her. Just then they moved into sight of a dog who stood up, put its front paws on the cage, and barked happily at Rafael and Ileana. Rafael set Ileana down in front of the dog, who sniffed at her excitedly and ruffed like it couldn't be happier. Ileana didn't hiss, but rather stared at the dog. Rafael put his hand to the cage, and the dog suddenly noticed him, then turned in a circle. Tasha walked up and said hello, too, making the dog stop and put its feet up again.

The dog seemed active but not puppy hyper, probably an Aussie mix judging by the combination of white, tawny, and black fur. The tag said 'Shelby, age 4.'

"Hey, Shelby," Rafael said. "Are you as in love with Ileana as I am?"

Shelby wagged her tail and looked up at Tasha.

"You can answer him." She winked at the dog.

Shelby looked at Rafael and put a paw up. He reached over and touched it. She sat, looking at her visitors. "Ruff."

An attendant hurried over with another dog on leash. "Let me just put Rover in his kennel, and I'll be with you."

Rover? Really? Shelby turned around and watched the man walk away with what might have been doggy side eye. Then she turned back to Tasha, Raf and Ileana, looking at them in turn while wagging her tail and drooling happily.

Tasha looked up at the attendant. "Has she been around cats?"

"She lived with one cat and two other dogs in her first home. Unfortunately the owner married someone extremely allergic to pets. It broke her heart, but it was him or them, and while I don't personally condone the choice, she went with the human."

Tasha and Rafael laughed.

"Shelby's fun, very clever, very laid back," he said. "Would there be other pets besides this pretty kitty?"

Tasha nodded. "I'm adopting a cat, too. Let me buy a carrier and bring him over."

Rafael pulled out his wallet. "Could you get a carrier for Ily?"

She took the card he offered and hoofed it to the pet store booth. Fortunately the line moved quickly. She headed to Jonathan Swiftkitty and got him settled inside. He meowed unhappily.

"Hey, this is just temporary digs. We want you to meet Shelby and see if you can be friends."

Jonathan looked unimpressed but didn't complain.

As Tasha returned she found Shelby on a leash, laying between Raf's legs as he sprawled on the ground.

"Hey, Shelby. What do you think of this kitty?"

Shelby turned her head, stood up, and walked over. She seemed thrilled by Jonathan, who leveled her with a glare. He seemed to be telling her not to get up in his grill. Shelby sat down and stared at him, showing she wouldn't. Then Shelby put her paws on Tasha's legs and stared up adoringly.

"What's up, lady? You want to come home with us?"

Shelby turned in circles again, which got her tangled up in her leash. Rafael got her sorted out, then stood up.

"I filled out the paperwork, I just need my card back to pay for her."

"I can pay for her," Tasha said.

"Halfsies?"

"Perfect."

They finished up the adoption, transferred Ileana to her soft carrier, and returned her cage. Heading to the pet store next, they picked up all the food and supplies they could fit in the car. Dealing with three pets and two carts ended up being a little crazy, especially since the store was full of other adopters. Once the exhausted quintet got home chaos reigned. Shelby barked happily and explored the entire house. Tasha followed her around to make sure she wouldn't chew anything, but Shelby just wanted to do a walkthrough. Down in the living room Ileana found her cat bed and curled up in it while Swifty jumped up onto the bookshelves and ran around.

"I need a glass of wine," Tasha said.

"I'd like one, too. Should I get them?" asked Raf.

"Nah, cuddle with Ileana. I've got it."

An hour later they'd started their second glasses of wine and everyone in the house seemed completely content. Tasha waved a feather wand around, watching Jonathan Swiftkitty jump after it. Raf laid across the couch with Ileana curled up on his chest. His right hand cuddled her while his left held a rope toy Shelby occasionally tried to steal from his grip. The level of sexiness involved measured too high for human calculation.

"You know, you have never looked more fuckable than you do right now," Tasha said before she could censor herself.

He looked at her with desire for several seconds before his face fell and he put his head back to stare at the ceiling. "I want us to be together, but I don't know if I'm ready for us to be together."

"I don't know if I'm emotionally ready. But physically I am. Physically I want everything now."

He snorted. "It sounds so easy, talking about casual sex."

"Can't it be?"

"I know a lot of women think men can just be physical and it doesn't matter, but I already care about you. I can't be like, 'oh, it's sex, it'll never be anything else.'"

Her stomach tightened. "You want there to be something else?"

"Eventually. When I'm ready."

The only thing Tasha could do was laugh. "I feel like we met each other at the exact wrong time."

"Disagree. We're both single. We'll both get there. We're just learning the value of patience. Be honest, do you think I'm worth waiting for?"  
"Yeah. I do." She looked up at the ceiling. "Patience."

"They say it's a virtue," he teased.

They said that in Europe before Brazil had been discovered, so they clearly couldn't have imagined a world with Rafael Santos. Be that as it may, she cared about him too much to push him into something he wasn't ready for.

"Fair enough," Tasha said. "I'm going to patience my way into an afternoon nap. Pet parenting is exhausting."

"Sweet dreams."

Spicy would be better, but she could live with sweet.

### Chapter 12: Rafael

Tasha looked like an angel when she slept. With Jonathan Swiftkitty curled up on her stomach and Shelby draped over her feet, she seemed to be even more content than when he'd seen her sleeping after the pub. Ileana still lay on his chest, and he felt pretty content himself. Theoretically Tasha cuddles would be better, but cuddling Tasha in reality would be a whole mess he couldn't handle.

He felt bad that she wanted a physical relationship but he didn't, especially knowing she couldn't bring herself to climax. However, he didn't want to push himself into a relationship while he still had so many unresolved feelings. Genevieve's betrayal had naturally shaken his trust, but the biggest harm was to his ability to trust himself. He wondered why he hadn't seen the clues that their relationship wouldn't work out. Obviously he'd been oblivious, but his real concern lay in whether he would be that clueless again.

He felt like he could trust Tasha, but what if they weren't on the same page relationship-wise? Would he notice? Or would he end up with another painful breakup because he hadn't been aware of the signs? Even if he went into things with his eyes open, he could still face a nasty separation down the road. He didn't think Tasha would purposefully hurt him, but could he trust her not to hurt him accidentally?

Then there was the issue of children. Tasha wanted them, he didn't. How could they reconcile that? If he wanted to live with Tasha for the rest of his life, and that thought certainly held appeal, which one of them would have to compromise? He didn't want to watch the light go out of her eyes when she realized she wouldn't be having her own kids to love and raise. He also didn't want to be put in a position where the light went out of his heart because he took a risk on having children and something terrible happened.

Maybe he could be called a coward, but he preferred waiting in this no person's land before a relationship happened – before those kinds of lines had been drawn. Right now he and Tasha lived in a space of perpetual potential, and no one had been hurt by the other. If only they could fall in love and be together without ever hurting each other. Too bad life didn't work that way.

Ileana stretched and hopped down. Raf decided he could probably find more constructive things to do than stare at Tasha, so he went up to his bedroom and grabbed his laptop. Clicking on Instagram and uploading the picture of Ileana laying on him that Tasha had taken, he posted the caption 'the lady who stole my heart.' As usual, he had a lot of notifications, and he went through them to interact with his followers and friends. He stopped when he noticed a photo that tagged him. It showed Genevieve embracing Martin LaDoeur, a male model Raf had considered a friend.

Martin had written, "Can't believe @rafsantosmodel broke this gorgeous lady's heart. @geneviestyling is so much happier now that I'm taking care of her."

The fuck?

First off, Martin hadn't been on her brag list to Hunter. Based on his caption, he didn't actually know Genevieve had cheated on Rafael. He thought Rafael had somehow been an asshole to kick Genevieve to the curb. Having never publicized their dirty laundry, Rafael now looked like the asshole on social media. Great. Just what he needed, people hating on him. Looking through the comments on the photo, he found lots of negativity thrown his way. A second glance at his notifications showed some seriously angry ex-fans.

Raf knew he shouldn't care, but he had his phone in his hand and Scout's number dialed before he could process everything.

"Hey, man, what's up?" asked Scout.

"Did you see what Martin LaDoeur wrote about the breakup with Genevieve?"

Raf felt his heart wither up in the pause that followed.

"Yeah."

"And you weren't going to tell me?"

Scout sighed. "I only saw it last night. I figured you'd see it soon enough. And what could I say? 'Hey, Raf, your psycho ex is now lying about your breakup to make you look like a douchebag.' I texted Martin to set him straight, and he never responded."

"Seriously? I can't believe he would think I'd callously dump someone I loved. He knows me. We're friends. I mean, we're industry friends, anyway."

"Yeah, well, you know how far that goes."

True. Absent working together, Martin and he would probably never talk again. How many 'friends' did Raf have like that? People he thought he could rely on, but who probably didn't think about him now that he was out of their immediate circle? What a profoundly depressing thought on top of his discovery of Genevieve's smear campaign.

"I guess it doesn't really matter," Raf said. "I thought Martin was a friend, but clearly I gave him too much credit. So many people in fashion I liked don't give a shit about me. Out of sight, out of mind."

"That's true of every job and every industry. People cycle in and out of our lives. Don't let that be a reason to refuse to come back to the fashion world when you get Sleepy Sands out of your system."

"Scout, Sleepy Sands isn't something I'm going to get out of my system. It's my new home."

"So live there when you're not doing shoots. No one said you have to work out of New York City. But you've worked way too hard to give up on your career."

Raf knew Kaya thought he'd be coming back, but he had just assumed Scout understood that Raf had moved on. Realizing the gap that would open up between him and his best friend, Raf chose his words carefully.

"I don't look at this change as 'giving up' on my career. I fell into fashion. I never picked it over other choices, or had to think about how to make it happen. It chose me, and I went along for the ride. I loved doing it, but the fact that I tended bar every weekend shows I needed something else to keep me going. I'm a people person. As much as I love my photography, I need to balance that with being around a lot of people and just hanging out. In Sleepy Sands I can balance both of those desires with a lot less stress, pressure, and bullshit than I had to put up with in the fashion industry. Like I told Kaya, I'll help do a few shoots for her and Zach every year, but I don't see myself working for anyone else."

"I get why things with Genevieve made this industry into a negative place for you, but the fashion world isn't that bad. And how are you going to feel when you have zero pressures? Don't you think you'll get bored?"

"I'm going to have plenty of challenges in my new life," Raf said. "I'm now a partner in Jasper North, so making sure the business survives is a big deal to me. In terms of my photography, I'm trying to find my style outside of selling things to people. I can finally think about it in terms of art. This life is full of new opportunities. I know what I'm doing isn't getting the attention of thousands of people, but I love it. Please don't belittle what I'm doing just because it isn't about being famous anymore."

"That's not... okay, maybe that is a little bit what I'm doing. I guess I don't understand. Being a model is my life. I can't imagine walking away from that."

"I love that you love it. But I don't love it that way. I don't need it. It's just a thing I do, a part of what I am. And it doesn't feed the core of me, the real center of home and family and life and love. Being in Sleepy Sands does feed that. So yeah, for me walking away is easy. Because I know where I'm walking to is the right destination."

Scout sighed again. "I want you to be happy, but you have to know it hurts me that we aren't moving in the same direction anymore."

"I know. But you're my best friend, and I don't want that to change. I'll still make time to be part of your life so long as you're willing to make time to be part of mine."

"Yeah, man. We'll figure it out. Look, I need to just chill out by myself for a while to process that you're not coming back. I'll call you soon, though, okay?"

Who knew that breaking up his bromance would hurt as much as leaving Genevieve?

"I'm sorry," Raf said. "I wish it could be us against the world for the rest of our lives."

"Looks like you have pretty new pussy to fill that job," said Scout with a lighter tone.

"You better be talking about Ileana and not Tasha."

Scout barked out a laugh. "I ain't touching that one. Later, man."

Somehow the lack of an affectionate 'fuck you much' made their separation that much more painful.

"Later," Raf said dispiritedly.

He put his phone away and hoped it wouldn't be long before they talked again. Hearing a bark, he headed down to let Shelby outside. Tasha appeared to be struggling to wake up.

"I'll get her," he said. "Go back to sleep."

She nodded and snuggled back into the couch. It took all of his effort not to join her. But his canine girl needed him. Following Shelby outside, he took a minute to appreciate their nice backyard. He wandered over to the garden and found a few ripe vegetables. Mentally planning a meal around them, he took them inside when Shelby went to the door. He'd been able to grow a few things on his balcony in New York, but having an actual garden? Nothing could beat it. Having one gave him yet another reason to feel completely satisfied in Sleepy Sands.

Honestly, he had to admit his happiness was about more than just coming to Sleepy Sands. If he'd found an apartment here, he would like living in town, but being in this comfortable, lived in house surrounded by Tasha and her things made his experience complete. Hopefully those healing factors would get him to a point where he could actually figure things out with his beautiful roommate. Every day he felt the pain of the touches he couldn't feel and the kisses he couldn't revel in.

The first few days of being pet owners meant Rafael and Tasha stuck to the house and hung out with their fur besties, but by Thursday the new kids seemed to have settled in. Raf headed to Adam's with lunch takeout and got a chance to play with his kittens.

"These two are adorable," Raf said after they'd cleaned up the food and gotten the laptop settled on the table.

"I can't believe I never had cats before," Adam said. "I feel like these two are as necessary to me as breathing. They treat me like I'm their dad, and I've got to say, I love being one."

"You ever think about human kids?"

Adam shrugged. "I'm interested, but I'm thirty-four. If I'm going to do it, I need to do it soon, and I don't think Heather is the one."

"No? You seem to get along so well." They didn't have a relationship like Mikey and Cara did, but Adam and Heather gave Rafael a very together vibe.

"I don't plan on being second best in a woman's life," Adam said. "So long as Heather stays hung up on Manesh, there's no future for us. I don't resent it, honestly. The best thing for me right now is to be able to grieve my parents and set up my business without worrying about how a serious relationship would fit into that. Heather's fun to be around, and she doesn't expect anything from me."

"That's good. I hope you can continue to have that fun while healing."

"Speaking of healing and moving on, how are things with you?" Adam asked.

"Still focusing on the former and not getting to the latter. But I'll be there eventually."

"You think you might end up with Tasha?"

"I hope so," Raf said.

Adam smiled. "I think you two would be awesome together. Take whatever time you need to get there, that's all I can say. Alright, let's call the brat."

Sarah picked up as soon as Adam clicked call. She had her hair in a ponytail and wore a sports bra.

"Inheriting your personal training client is a pain in my ass, brother dear. I really don't understand why I have to spend an hour sweating every time Jake Halford gets bored."

"Why do I know that name?" Raf asked.

"He played hockey for Detroit," Adam said. "Retired last year and does commentary work now."

Raf snapped his fingers. "He models for Z-Win."

"Yes," said Sarah, "and he has a shoot coming up, which means his abs need to look better than Zachary Wingrave-Astonby's."

Rafael snorted. "Good luck with that. I've seen Zach's abs up close and personal, and he doesn't need to hire anyone to show off his designs. He could model everything he makes. I love him to pieces, but sometimes I feel like he got a little too lucky."

Sarah mmm'd. "He's so dreamy. I'm jealous enough Jake met him, but if you're actually friends with him? I might need you to introduce me."

Note to self: see if he could convince Zach to come out to Jasper North's opening party next year.

Adam rolled his eyes. "Can we talk about plans for the club and not some guy my sister wants to bang?"

Rafael shifted into work mode. "I've been doing some research into local wineries, and I want to go for a bold statement by only having Michigan wines for sale. For champagne we can offer the known brands, but for actual wine, I think it would say a lot if we only went local."

"Sleepy Sands is a very pro-local place, so that would certainly fit in with that atmosphere," Adam said.

"I don't think we'll be selling huge amounts of wines anyway," said Sarah. "We don't do too much business with them at Jasper. It makes sense to get a smaller amount from smaller suppliers."

"We buy from a few Michigan wineries at Jasper, don't we?" Adam asked Sarah.

"Yup. Two fairly close to Detroit, and one up your way."

Adam turned to Raf. "We should do wine tastings at all the local places to figure out what we want to carry."

"That sounds good," said Raf. "How about we do that on Wednesdays? I like having my Sundays free."

"Sounds like a plan," said Adam.

Sarah stuck her lower lip out. "You guys get to go to yummy wineries every week and I don't."

Raf lifted an eyebrow. "You chose Detroit. If you could have dealt with living with your brother, you'd be rocking out with us up here."

"True," she said. "But there isn't much hope for Jasper North if regular Jasper goes under."

"Is there something I should know about Jasper being at risk?" Adam sounded concerned.

"No," Sarah assured him quickly. "We're doing similar business to a year ago. It just feels harder because you're up there and Josh has been gone deejaying at festivals for two months. It would be one thing if he just went to the gig with a day or two to sightsee. But he leaves Friday morning and comes back Wednesdays, then says he's too tired to do anything Wednesday night. I only get him working Thursdays on admin."

Adam frowned. "Is he getting all of his work done in that one day?"

Sarah shrugged. "He does some things while he's traveling. Not quite sure why he needs to spend so much time away, other than Princess Peabrain demands it."

"Princess Peabrain?" Raf asked.

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Josh's girlfriend."

"Fiancée," said Adam.

That seemed to piss Sarah off more. "For now. I keep hoping he'll notice she's a shallow, high maintenance social climber who probably wouldn't be dating him if he wasn't a famous deejay."

Wow. Sarah's vitriol surprised Raf. She usually acted so cheerful. Why would Josh be dating a woman like that? Sarah and Adam were laid back and down to earth. Josh must be really different from them. But then, becoming well-known could corrupt people. Rafael had seen that happen often enough in the fashion world.

"Whatever she is or isn't," Adam said, "she's Josh's choice, and we have to live with that."

"So we're just going to let Josh make the mistake of marrying her?" Sarah asked hotly.

"Yes," Adam replied in a voice that brooked no opposition. "Trying to talk him out of it would only alienate him. Look, we shouldn't waste Rafael's time discussing our dirty laundry. Let's get to business."

Sarah looked chagrined. "Sorry, Raf. I don't mean to drag you into our troubles."

"It's fine," he said. "You're protective of your family. I get that."

"Yeah." Sarah sighed. "Anyway, I've been thinking about the interior decoration. Red brick walls and jasper stone bar tops make sense in a manufacturing mecca like Detroit, but I think we should make Jasper North more Sleepy Sands-like. Maybe bricks that have a sandstone look, and a blue stone bar to channel Lake Michigan."

"That would allow us more flexibility with colored lights," Raf said.

Adam nodded. "Pinks and greens instead of just red all the time. I like it. A more beachy, vacationy feel. What do you think about staining a piece of wood blue for the bar?"

They bounced ideas off each other for a couple of hours until Sarah had to head to the club. Adam and Raf discussed how they would make Jasper North into a regular destination for the locals. Then Raf headed over to the taproom to eat and work.

As he made the tourists feel welcome, he happily noted he could comfortably invite others to love Sleepy Sands. He'd quickly become at home here, as evidenced by his teasing of the locals. He still had people to meet, but he knew an awful lot of the townsfolk. With that kind of support structure in place, he felt like he could face any challenge life threw his way. Shit would happen, but he had a community behind him now.

Saturday morning Raf called his parents and sister. They greeted each other joyfully in Portuguese, and he asked about their weeks.

"In English," he said when his turn to talk came. "You have to be used to the language since you'll be moving here."

"Of course," his sister Gabriela said. "We now spend Tuesday evenings talking in English for practice. Maybe we should only speak English during these phone conversations."

"Do we have to?" asked his father. "Some things only make sense in our language."

"Mostly English, then," Raf said. "You say what you need to in our language, but when you say the rest, practice practice practice. Things look good to have the three of you here next spring, so you need to be ready."

"You can find a job for me by then?" asked his mother.

"We will." Raf wouldn't consider anything else. He knew a lot of people here. Surely one of them would have a child his mother could look after?

"We definitely will," Gabriela said firmly. "So Rafael, who are these animals on your Instagram?"

Raf told them all about Ileana, Shelby, and Jonathan Swiftkitty. "I can't tell you how much I love them already. Ileana is my precious lady. I love her so much."

"And is she the only precious lady in your life?" asked his mother.

"What is that supposed to mean, mãe?" he asked.

"You sound happier every time we talk to you. Like you found the woman who can make your life full. The way you talk about this Tasha, it makes me think you have feelings for her."

He nearly rolled his eyes. "I am interested in her, but I'm also recovering from a bad breakup. I'm not ready yet."

"You will be soon enough," his mother said. "Aonde a vaca vai, o boi vai atrás."

Rafael snorted at her expression. Where the cow goes, the bull goes after. He'd definitely chased after women for most of his life, and he certainly felt ready to follow Tasha wherever she metaphorically went.

"You're not wrong," he said.

"I hope it works out for you two," Gabs said.

"Thanks. What about you, little sister? Any man in your life?"

She made a face. "I haven't been on a date since you told me about the job in Sleepy Sands. What's the point of starting something if I'm just going to be leaving in a year?"

"True. And no men are good enough for you," he teased.

He could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"I don't need your advice on finding a man. He will be my choice, not yours."

Raf grinned. He loved being a brat to her. "But isn't it better if I like him?"

"Isn't it better if I like your Tasha?" she sassed back.

"I hope you will," he said earnestly. He wanted all of his family's approval. "And I hope you'll tell me whether you do. Saying you didn't like Genevieve after she cheated was a little too late."

"Would you have listened if I'd said it before?" Gabriela sounded as earnest as he did.

He sighed. "Probably not. But I've learned. Macaco velho não põe a mão em cumbuca" That meant 'an old ape won't put his paw in a jar.' Experience taught people.

"Sometimes bad things happen," said his father. "We live with that. Sometimes good things happen, good people happen. Tasha sounds like a good person."

"She is," Raf said. "I'll introduce you to her over the phone. Not today, because she's gone this morning, but soon."

His father nodded. "Good. I have to go to my class, so I leave you to your mãe and Gabriela. Estou com saudades de você."

Rafael smiled. "I miss you, too, pai. And I'm happy you're taking these classes to get a job here."

"I am learning a lot. It will help me. Tchau, um abraço."

"Goodbye and hugs," Raf echoed. He could hear his father heading out.

"I've been taking an online class myself," Gabs said.

"Oh, yeah? For what?"

"Being a librarian for a small town in America. It's very interesting. I looked at the library webpage for Sleepy Sands. They have a whole page for local authors, so mãe and I are reading their works now."

Damn, he should be reading his neighbor's stuff, too. They talked about the authors he'd met and what genres they wrote. He grabbed his laptop and bought a few books while they chatted. Amazingly, Henrik the contractor wrote in Raf's favorite genre – humorous paranormal suspense. Gabs had just started one of Henrik's novels and loved it so far.

When they finally hung up, Tasha still hadn't come home. Raf decided to read in the living room so he'd be there whenever she arrived back. Turning on his e-reader, he dived into Henrik's paranormal world. By the end of the first chapter he didn't know whether he had a bigger mancrush on Adam (amazing songwriter) or Henrik (amazing novel writer). Of course, if he was just rating talent crushes he had to include Tasha (amazing painter).

He couldn't help snorting at himself. Yeah, like he could separate his talent crush on Tasha from his visual crush or personality crush. True facts: he found everything about her great. And instead of drooling over her uselessly, he needed to do the self-analysis that would let him be ready to actually start something with her. Putting aside his reader, he focused on his emotions and tried to make sense of the mess inside his mind.

### Chapter 13: Tasha

Tasha returned from Rich's daughter's birthday party feeling chipper. Roberta had turned nine, and they'd celebrated with a party themed around her favorite show – a web series about the children of fairy tale characters. Two years/parties ago Tasha watched a few episodes to pick a character to dress up as, and she found the show to be ridiculously cute. Each time she bought a doll for Roberta, she picked one up for herself. When Susanne McLaren, the manager of her family's department store in Sleepy Sands, saw Tasha buying two dolls she'd gotten a little smile on her face and mentioned that the Sleepy Sands doll group met once a month. Whatever your collection, whatever your quirk, Sleepy Sands had somebody interested in supporting you.

As Tasha walked into the living room, she found Rafael sitting on the couch, lost in thought, one hand petting Ileana on his lap. He looked up and did a double take, presumably at her red and black wig.

"Early Halloween party?" he asked.

She grinned. "Rich's daughter's birthday. I'm supposed to be the Queen of Hearts' daughter." She waved her hands down her red scarf, black dress, red belt, black tights with red hearts on them, and black shiny shoes. Her funky take on Oxford shoes had gigantic chunk heels.

"Looks sexy."

"Hmm. That wasn't the plan, but good to know."

He smiled. "You're always sexy."

A pang of regret hit her. Why couldn't her sexiness be enough to make him want to actually have sex?

"What have you been up to?" she asked.

"Thinking. About me. About you. About us." His brow furrowed and his eyes turned inward again.

She waited for a moment and then realized he'd gotten lost. "What did you decide?"

He looked up at her, heat in his gaze. "That the only way to let go of this shit with Genevieve is to start something new, and keep aware of my brain so I don't second guess things."

Tasha swallowed. She'd gotten so used to wanting Raf, she hadn't really thought about the reality of having him. If she wasn't mistaken, she would be naked and full of dick in about five minutes. Fortunately she'd been shaving regularly, but her body did not have anything in common with the models he ordinarily saw. Last time he'd been drunk. Would he still find her attractive sober?

"What are you thinking that's making you frown?" he asked.

"You're used to models being skinny and perfect. I'm not that."

"Most female models are anorexic, Tasha. I don't find that attractive. I've only ever slept with so-called plus sized models, who aren't even plus sizes."

She felt pure relief. "Oh, good. Because there's some cellulite hanging around my ass and thighs you probably didn't see when we hooked up before."

"I've seen plenty of your thighs this summer, and the only thing I think when I see them is how much I want my mouth between them again."

"Well, fuck. I guess we better make that happen."

He grinned wolfishly. "I just can't decide whether I want you to keep the wig on. It definitely works with the big red heart painted over your eye and the plastic crown."

"Why not? I feel like a princess, so I may as well look like one."

"You're my princess." His voice sounded possessive, and while she'd never liked Geoffrey showing any sign of ownership over her, she had to admit Rafael claiming her felt... right. Like they really did belong to each other.

"Does that mean you're my prince?" she teased.

Rafael laughed. "No, I'm just a peasant. Who stares at you as you walk by and wishes he could be with you."

"A sexy peasant. Who I'm willing to give my crown up for. Because I'd rather be in your arms than a queen."

He growled as he stood up, walking over to her and tilting her jaw to take his kiss. The kiss felt feral, and she gave as much as she got. Their tongues slid against each other, teased and played, as their hands explored each other's bodies. When he pulled away, she dropped down to undo her laces.

"Your bedroom or mine?" Raf asked.

She threw off one shoe. "Does it matter where we start? I won't be satisfied until we've fucked in every room in this house."

"Good answer." He reached out and pulled her up as she tossed away her second shoe.

Holding her hand, he led her to the stairway and up to her bedroom. Then he started pulling off her clothes, and she busied herself with removing his. Once they'd gotten naked she placed her hands over his heart.

"Do you feel it beating for you?" he asked.

"It's so fast."

"Because I want you so much." He reached his hand out and traced it along her cheek.

She placed her hand on top of his. "Are you sure you're ready?"

Rafael nodded, then leaned in and kissed her gently. "Você é linda."

"What does that mean?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered, staring into her eyes.

Then something seemed to snap in him, because he scooped her up and set her on the bed, hovering over her body so he could lick her nipple. He sucked it, then took her other nipple into his mouth. Her body tightened, pleasure building. After suckling the right nipple again, he licked her from belly button to breasts and pinched both nipples with his fingers. She moaned and arched her back closer to him.

With her hand she circled his shaft and squeezed, pumping a few times while his own moans rang out. He placed his hand at her crotch, circled his index finger around her clit, and then plunged one finger into her vagina. As his mouth went to her clit and sucked she writhed and cried out. Her fingers delved into his messy hair, and she held on while he finger fucked her and licked her clit. The feelings nearly overwhelmed her. It felt like it had been so long since she'd gotten physical release. Then he took her over the edge and she came in waves, shaking and shouting as he pushed her past the point of ecstasy.

Tasha shakily reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out the box of condoms, making a mess of opening them. Rafael grabbed one out and ripped the wrapper, sheathing himself immediately and nudging her entrance with his massive cock. She looked down, wanting to watch him as he became a part of her.

"I need your pussy more than oxygen," he said roughly, thrusting inside. She watched him enter her, and every feeling inside her grew until their torsos joined together. Switching her view to his face, she found his eyes peering into hers. "I need your pussy more than life."

"It'll always be here for you." Moving her hands to his ass, she held the round globes firmly. When he drew back she maintained her grip, and then she felt him flex as he entered again. He repeated the motion with her shifting her hips slightly to work with him. They created a sinful rhythm, and she soon felt too good for words.

"So tight, xuxu," he panted. "So beyond what I expected."

Her mind became images, feelings, needs and desires. Nerves flaring, she let him push her farther with every touch.

"Harder," she gasped.

His hips slammed into her, and her cry came out sounding almost pained.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, stopping.

"Don't stop," she answered frantically. "I'm fine."

Immediately he continued moving, teasing her, taking her, and torturing her with a build up that seemed like it would never explode. He groaned, kissed her deeply, then pushed up and looked at her with an expression of pure gloating.

"Never been so good," he said, then muttered something under his breath in Portuguese. Too gone to ask for a translation, she dug her fingernails into his ass. He moaned, pushed into her harder, and buried his face next to her. As he adjusted his elbows, his hands found hers and he intertwined their fingers together, licked her neck, and pistoned faster and faster.

Her orgasm hit, bringing her into a place of pure feeling, keeping her there as he moved like a filthy jackhammer. She could hear noises coming from her mouth, but they sounded like a wild animal in heat. Then he shouted "Tashinha" and buried himself deep while her orgasm expanded and she turned liquid, shouting "Raf" without being able to think of the other syllables.

They both breathed a mile a minute in the relative quiet that followed. He stayed buried in her, and she felt whole in ways she never had before. Finally she calmed down enough to speak.

"We're everything together," she said huskily. "Best sex ever."

"I think my body's on fire. I feel each nerve."

"Ditto."

An aftershock went through her and she shuddered. Rafael seemed to come to himself and pulled out. She grabbed his head and pulled his lips to hers before he could go too far. His tongue plunged against hers, and she met his charge with her own. Finally he pulled away, got up, headed to the bathroom. She took a deep breath and pulled herself together.

When he came out, she pulled herself up to lay against the headboard.

"What did you say in Portuguese?" she asked.

His brow furrowed, and then he seemed to remember. "Sua cona é um paraíso. Your cunt is a paradise." He seemed a little worried she would take offense.

"Dirty, yet weirdly romantic. I dig it."

Raf laughed. "I think dirty when I am dirty."

"Fair enough. Why Tashinha? What is that about?"

"It's affectionate to add inha to someone's name."

"Okay. Lastly, xuxu?"

"Lover."

"I feel like I should learn a language so that I can say dirty things you don't understand," she said.

He grinned. "I've studied the basics of many languages, so you might not be able to surprise me."

"Damn. I guess I just need to occasionally say 'fill me with your fuckstick' and hope that turns you on."

Raf ran his hand down his cock. "I'll fill your buceta any time, lover."

"I don't think I need a translation for that."

His laugh triggered one from her. "Probably not."

"Do you feel alright?" she asked. "Emotionally?"

"I do. No regrets. Just satisfaction."

"Good. This wig is starting to itch, so I'm going to retire my princess-ness." She pulled the crown and wig off and placed them into her closet.

"I need to take a shower so I'll be ready for work," Raf said. "Want to join me?"

Tasha couldn't help smiling. "Fuck yes."

Soaping each other up proved to be too much for Rafael's cock to stay down, but since Tasha didn't feel up to a second ride she just gave him a handjob. He seemed perfectly happy with that.

Once they'd dressed they made an early dinner, working so seamlessly together she wondered how she'd made years of meals without him. Cooking had been a means to an end before. She'd never particularly enjoyed it. Now that she got to cook with Raf, she found it fun. They chatted about how their Fridays had gone. She went out with the girls. He spent the night trying to avoid the desperate waitress who kept trying to seduce him.

"Tell her you're with someone now," Tasha said in an annoyed tone.

His lips twitched like he was trying to suppress a grin. "I will."

"Good."

The look on his face could best be described as smug. Apparently she wasn't the only one who liked a little ownership.

On Sunday Tasha suggested spending a few hours at Empire Beach. Rafael seemed excited, so they headed out after brunch. She asked him for help putting on sunscreen, which he seemed to enjoy. So much so he had her do his chest and back. Rubbing lotion into his abs gave her pure pleasure. She felt a little cheated that he'd already done his arms.

They laid out on the sand and chatted for a while, then went into the water. Lake Michigan stayed pretty cold even in the summer, so Tasha didn't stay out long. Rafael swam for longer, but he came in not long after Tasha started reading her book.

"It's colder than a witch's tit out there." He dropped down next to her and used his towel to wipe the excess water.

Tasha snickered. "How much do you know about witch's tits?"

"I read a lot of paranormal suspense, so quite a bit, actually." He winked.

"I read some paranormal, but it's usually more romance than suspense. I tend to stick to female authors. And I read a lot of fantasy written by women."

"Not a female author, but have you read Henrik's Bjorn Again series?"

"Yes! Oh my god, he's hilarious. I'm one of his beta readers, so I've read all of his books."

"Really? That's a sweet gig." Raf looked envious.

"Last I checked he still wanted to find one more person to read chapter by chapter. Most people want to just read the finished book."

"I'll talk to him about it tomorrow. He usually has lunch at the pub on Mondays."

"Sleepers are creatures of habit."

When they finally tired of the beach they headed home. Since they'd gotten sand everywhere they required showers, and she pointed out it would be a lot more environmentally responsible to conserve water by showering together. Of course, when the shower devolved into him fucking her up against the tiles for quite a few minutes they probably didn't really save much water. But still. Her vagina approved of shared showers one hundred percent.

Tasha hadn't gotten any painting time in that weekend, so she hit the studio while Raf did his own thing. He offered to make dinner, and by the time he called her down she'd made good progress on her current painting. She felt inspired after talking to Rosalind at the art gallery. Her painting hadn't sold yet, but several people had commented on it, and Rosalind said she would be looking for commission work for Tasha. After years of treading water artistically, Tasha finally felt like she had a reason to push forward. The pressure had made her dig deep on her latest painting, and she could already see the difference.

Arriving downstairs, she found Rafael had made another Brazilian specialty for dinner, a dish he said had been his favorite meal growing up. Tasha asked him about his childhood before moving to São Paulo. It sounded like he had enjoyed living in a small town, but his community hadn't been as close-knit and loving as Sleepy Sands. Tasha found it interesting to hear about how other small towns functioned. As a life-long Sleeper, she had been spoiled by having a group of people who wanted her to succeed her entire life. Living in a town with significantly less people and not having the feeling that they had her back would have probably put her off small town life. Somehow Rafael had learned to appreciate the benefits and not chafe at the disadvantages.

As always, his positive attitude humbled her. The fact that such a genial guy had chosen her to be with made her feel worthwhile. Geoffrey didn't do a great job of making her feel worthy. She had definitely traded up when he cheated on her. That didn't quite remove all the bitterness she had over the situation, but she did truly believe that things in her life had worked out for the best. Even though she still had a long way to go in terms of making a relationship work with Rafael, she felt more secure and satisfied than she had for many years.

Tasha's phone buzzed in her pocket while they lingered over dessert. She pulled it out and saw Cara had texted. Rafael had just pulled out his own phone, so it didn't surprise her that the message invited them to the back room of the pub in half an hour.

"I wonder what's up," he said.

"It looks like a group text. I'm guessing they have some kind of announcement for us."

They looked at each other knowingly. Either Cara and Mikey were engaged, or they had a surprise pregnancy to talk about. Either way, Tasha felt jealous, and she knew if she put off going for twenty minutes she would keep feeling that way.

"Let's head to the pub now," she said.

"Sure."

When they got to the back room at the pub they saw a handful of people congregated. They ended up talking to Jenny Lu and her boyfriend, James Thompson. Jenny asked Tasha how the non-beer options for the taproom were coming along, so Tasha explained what the current schedule looked like. Jenny and James waxed ecstatic about various wines Tasha made and shared over the years, and she felt a real sense of accomplishment. Clearly her beverages stood out in people's minds. That boded well for her future projects. She could be a good Head Beverage Master. She would be.

Cara and Mikey arrived with their families, and someone whistled for silence. All eyes turned to the couple, and Cara held up her left hand, showing off a round yellow gem (presumably a yellow sapphire – Cara's favorite) with four small diamonds surrounding it in the cardinal points. The ring melded an antique flavor with a classic simplicity.

Tasha started clapping and cheering alongside her friends.

"Thank you," Cara gushed. "I'm so thrilled. Mikey invited me to come to the restaurant with my family tonight. I didn't realize that he and this beauty would be joining us for our meal."

Mikey grinned. "I had to work hard to make this a surprise when she knew I'd be proposing, but I think I managed it."

"You did," said Cara, leaning her head on his shoulder. Mikey wrapped his arm around her waist. "We're planning for the wedding to be next July so we've got plenty of time to make it perfect. As most of you know, I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl, so I want it to be everything I ever hoped for."

"And I'm determined to make that happen," Mikey said, beaming at her. Cara looked at him like he hung the moon.

A rock formed in Tasha's stomach. She shouldn't be feeling jealous of her close friends as they celebrated a major life event, but she couldn't help it. After wasting years on a marriage that didn't fulfill her, she now found herself in the precarious position of starting something from scratch with another equally wounded soul. It would take time before she could decide if she and Rafael had something real that could last, and if they did, she would have to figure out how to handle his desire not to have children.

She wanted to be starting a family, which Cara and Mikey would undoubtedly do as soon as their fancy wedding had been completed. They would have the happily ever after she wanted, and she would have what? Hot sex with an even hotter guy? Maybe love? Was that enough? Could that future satisfy her?

Figuring that out would require some soul searching on the topic of motherhood, and figuring out other potential ways she could be involved in the lives of young people. Painting lessons maybe? It's not like she could teach them to make wine.

Cara and Mikey began mingling, and when they came up to Rafael and Tasha she put her best congratulatory face on. After they headed to the next group, Tasha asked Rafael who he hadn't met so she could make introductions. He seemed to enjoy meeting those people, and she cheered up a little while chatting. If she didn't focus on her hurts, she didn't have to feel them quite so deeply.

When it hit ten Tasha and Raf called it a night.

"I know you said you'd be here for a year, so you'll be in Sleepy Sands for the wedding?" Tasha asked once they'd gotten in the car.

Rafael looked confused. "I'm staying. I thought you knew that."

"For the rest of your life?"

He stared at her. "I certainly hope so."

"Oh. I guess I didn't know what your long term plan was."

"It's being in Sleepy Sands. I love the people, I love the location, and I love being back in a small town. You could probably hear earlier how much I loved my childhood, and that was in a town where people weren't as uniquely good as the Sleepers. I had fun living in New York, but this is my place now. I'm completely tied down, and I like it that way."

Tasha grinned and decided to take their conversation to a naughtier place. "Do you want to be tied down when we get home?"

He laughed. "That sounds like just the way to end the day."

She couldn't agree more. Her feelings were all over the place after Cara and Mikey's announcement, and some good, hard sex would be just the thing to ground her in the present. Life had its complications, but orgasms made everything a whole lot simpler. So long as Rafael distracted her from her jealousy, she might be able to actually smile when she next talked to Cara and Mikey.

### Chapter 14: Rafael

Being tied up sounded like fun to Raf. After flirting all the way home, they hurried into the house. He opened his mouth to say something about getting scarves when Tasha's phone buzzed. As she pulled it out her mouth fell. She lifted it to her ear.

"Hi, Mom."

Well, crap. Talking to Mom and kinky sex just didn't mesh. He smiled wryly at himself, then headed upstairs to give her some privacy. About twenty minutes later she appeared in the doorway to his bedroom.

"Hey, you doing anything Wednesday night?" she asked.

"Adam and I want to start visiting tasting rooms on Wednesdays, but we can put it off for a week. Why?"

"My parents want to do dinner with me, all four of them. Mom invited me to her house, but I asked them to come here so they could meet you."

That made him feel ten feet tall. Surely she found him important if she wanted him to interact with her parents.

"I would love to meet your parents. Do you want me to cook dinner then so you can relax with them if they get here before it's ready?"  
"Oh, I wouldn't ask you to make dinner. I'll work a little late Monday and leave at four Wednesday."

"I can help you with dinner. You're not asking, I'm volunteering."

Tasha stepped toward him, lifted her hand to his chin, and then leaned in for a quick kiss. "You're the best."

His chest burned from wanting her. "I want more than a kiss tonight."

"I want that, too." She held out her hand, and he took it. She led him into her room, then turned and gave him a second kiss, which could never be described as quick. This one lasted as they slid their tongues against each other. He felt spicy, dirty, happy, and appreciated. He began stripping off her clothes so they could reach even greater heights of physical pleasure.

In the end they skipped tying him up, and went for her on top while he sat up against the headboard. Raf found it important to let his partners be in charge sometimes, and Tasha knew how to work things so they both found their peak. He was completely drained afterward, because every time he came with Tasha he felt it mind, body, and soul. Sex had never been this good before. He thought things with Genevieve had been hot? Things with Tasha approached ghost pepper levels.

Pulling her in for cuddles, he noted she seemed as content as he did. Since Tasha didn't ask him to leave her room, he never volunteered to. He wanted the closeness, the building of their relationship. He felt ready to move forward finally, and he wanted to do that in every possible way. Waking up next to her would be the start of a new era.

The next few days flew by, and on Wednesday morning Raf decided that while he didn't want to do anything too tiring, he wanted to get out and experience nature. He went to one of the smaller lakes and rented a kayak, spending an hour out on the water. Though he worked his arm muscles, he came back feeling mentally and emotionally relaxed. Some cuddles with the fur babies made him feel even more calm.

By the time he finished lunch he craved photography time. In the backyard he explored various angles and views, trying to make interesting compositions. He did some delayed shots so he could get himself in the picture, experimenting until he looked like part of a fashion shoot. He hadn't taken many pictures of himself previously since he always had model friends he could ask to shoot for practice. God knew Scout would always be willing to pose, whether for free for Rafael's classes, or for a heavy payday with top men's mags.

When Tasha came home she and Raf worked on prepping dinner, hanging out in the kitchen while things cooked and baked. She filled him in on her plans for Sleeping Beverages. He got really excited about her ideas. She had a strong vision, and he wanted to watch as she implemented it and reaped the rewards of her work. Plus, the more great beverages she made, the more he could feature at Jasper North.

The doorbell rang before they'd finished making dinner, and Tasha re-entered the kitchen followed by a pretty woman with grey-streaked brunette hair and a Latino gentleman who had an even more liberal dose of grey through his black locks.

"Mom, Lee, this is my roommate, Rafael Santos. Rafael, meet my mom and her husband, Leandro Oliveras."

"So pleased to meet you," Raf said, shaking hands with both.

"Likewise. Call me Lee."

"And you can call me Janine. Tash has told me so much about you, Rafael. I talked to my legal consultant about the chances of getting a work permit for your mother to work at our call center, but it doesn't seem like we'd have much luck. Our turnover is significantly lower than other centers, and whenever we have openings we find an abundance of local applicants. I'm sorry that we can't offer help there."

Raf's mouth dropped. "I had no idea Tasha had even asked you."

"Of course," Tasha said.

"I can always check around my network when you're ready to file the other permits," Lee said. "There might be someone with an opening then. I don't think I'll have one since I only have two people on staff."

"You own a business as well?" asked Raf.

Lee nodded. "I'm a consultant who works specifically with customer service issues. Janine and I met when I recommended her call center to a client."

Janine smiled dreamily, as if she couldn't quite believe they'd been able to find each other. Raf couldn't help smiling himself. He knew how that felt because he found it hard to believe he'd discovered her daughter.

"Asking around would be a huge help," Raf said to Lee. "Thanks."

Lee winked. "Anything to help a fellow Latin American."

"Where is your family from?" Raf asked.

"We're Salvadorians. My parents emigrated to America right after marrying, so my sister and I were born here. We helped several of our extended family come to the States since then, but the ones left in El Salvador prefer to stay there. I've visited a few times, but I'm actually one of the weird people who prefers pinecones to rainforests."

"I like both equally," Raf said. "There isn't any place in the world I've been that I didn't find interesting and beautiful in its own way. But after living in New York for over ten years I've gotten somewhat fond of snow and cold."

"That will serve you well here," Tasha said. "Come January or February you might not love Sleepy Sands as much as you do now."

Raf felt his lips tug up. "I think I'll love everything in Sleepy Sands by January."

Tasha blushed and her mouth made that little 'o' he liked so much.

A pop from the stove captured their attention, and Tasha and he immediately worked together as a team to get the food finished, chatting with Janine and Lee. While putting the food into serving bowls the doorbell rang again, so Tasha headed to the door. Janine and Lee helped him take things into the dining room.

A minute later Tasha came in with the rest of her family. She introduced her father, Don, her stepmother, Michelle, and her stepsiblings, sixteen-year-old Dante and fourteen-year-old Mikayla. Don asked Raf some questions as everyone passed around the food, and he must have been satisfied with the answers, because he soon turned to Tasha and handed her a bottle-sized gift bag.

"Champagne to celebrate your promotion," he said proudly.

She pulled out a pricey bottle. "Thanks, Dad. We'll open this with dessert."

"I got you a little something, too," Janine said. "A gift certificate to the Nursery since I know how much you love plants." She pulled it out from her purse and handed it over.

"I have had my eyes on a new rose bush," Tasha said.

Raf wondered if their pride in Tasha always came off as a competition. Since it had been several weeks since the promotion, he had to wonder why they hadn't celebrated it when they saw her individually. Perhaps they preferred showing off for each other. He imagined even an amicable divorce had a certain level of wanting to be the favorite parent.

Over the duration of the meal he remained part of the discussion but analyzed everyone's actions as well. He realized her parents had a little competition over how affectionate they could be with their current spouses. He got the impression Janine and Lee were slightly happier together, but part of that could be that he didn't really click with Michelle. She had a certain American Dream normality he didn't relate to. Obviously looking nice and having nice things appealed to her on a level he didn't understand. Considering he got paid to look nice, you'd think he'd sympathize with her more.

At least Dante and Mikayla seemed like good kids. They appeared to have a lot of affection for Tasha, and she clearly adored them. Both teens treated Raf like an interesting new person to hang out with, which relieved him. When he'd found out Tasha had a teenage sister he'd worried a little about potential crush disaster, but Mikayla showed no signs of lust. Maybe Rafael had reached the age where teens just found him to be old. A lowering thought in general, but in this instance it made him glad.

Both Michelle and Lee cared greatly for Tasha, which made Raf happy. He loved that she'd charmed her step-parents like she'd charmed the rest of Sleepy Sands. He couldn't imagine anyone not being drawn into her orbit, but certainly those two would be the most likely to be jealous or resentful of her. Instead they lavished attention and love on her. Overall, the family dynamic approached Christmas movie levels of perfection. He half expected someone to suggest going ice skating on the weekend.

After the champagne had been drunk and every crumb of dessert scraped off the plates, everyone relaxed into their seats. Janine and Don looked at each other, and he nodded. Janine turned to Tasha.

"Sweetie, the reason we wanted to get together as a group is that we have some news to share. Over the past year we've had a lot more collaboration between the Sleepy Sands call center and the Traverse City call center, and we've decided it's time to move into one building. Your father and I have gotten to a place where we can see each other every day, so there's no reason to stay separate. The good thing about choosing one location is that we can expand our site, which will allow us to take on more workers and more contracts."

A wrinkle between Tasha's eyes indicated some concern over the announcement. "Which city will you pick?"

"Sleepy Sands," Janine said.

Tasha's face cleared and looked sunnier. "That's wonderful. So you'll start construction on your building or find a new one?"

"We'll add on to ours," Don said. "There aren't any buildings of the size we would need. We met with the architect last week and got the discussion started."

"Did you talk to Henrik yet?" asked Tasha. "Their construction firm is already doing the club, gym, and coffee shop over the next eight months."

"We touched base with Henrik Monday," he said. "He's had an influx in people looking for work over the past month, so he's confident he has the staff needed to pull all the projects off."

"Excellent. So what's the estimate of when it will be complete?" she asked.

"Two months for design, six months for the build, and an additional month to get everything decorated, wired, and ready to go," said Janine. "But with me needing to arrive early or leave late to touch base with the crew, Lee and I have decided it makes sense if I don't have to factor in a thirty minute commute. So Lee and I are moving to Sleepy Sands."

A grin spread across Tasha's face. "That's awesome! Do you want this house back? Should we move?"

He liked that she said we. Even if she had to leave the house, it sounded like she'd want him as a roommate.

"Of course not," Janine said. "This is your house, sweetie. Lee and I found a one-story on Armstrong Lake that has a gorgeous view and will be something we can stay in for the rest of our lives. We put in an offer Monday that got accepted. There are a few renovation and decoration issues we'd like to get taken care of, but we should be here in September."

"That's awesome. We'll be able to hang out all the time," said Tasha excitedly.

Don cleared his throat. "We're likely moving to Sleepy Sands once Mikayla's in college. We just want the kids to be able to complete school with all their friends."

His announcement made Tasha even more animated. "Yay! That's going to be so nice to have you both here."

"Well, we hope by that time we'll be here to spend time with our grandchildren," Don said affectionately.

Her smile wobbled. Rafael suddenly felt awful. He could imagine Tasha wondering if she would even have kids. She knew that Raf didn't want them. Even though neither of them could guarantee they'd be together in a few years, they had made a point to try. With that future, Tasha wouldn't be giving her parents grandchildren. If she and Raf didn't work out, well, he didn't even want to think about that. He knew Tasha wouldn't settle for someone she didn't love just to have children. She'd already done that once in her life and said she deserved better. She did deserve better.

He just didn't know if he could be what she deserved.

"There's a lot up in the air with my life," Tasha said. "But I am very happy to see the business is doing well for you both. Expanding sounds really exciting, and of course you both spending more time in Sleepy Sands will make me very happy."

Her parents beamed at her. Raf felt unsettled about the kids issue, so he started collecting plates to take to the kitchen. The family moved into the living room while he cleaned up, and he joined them afterward. Ileana came out from her bed in the corner and jumped in his lap, allowing Tasha's family to see and compliment her. They'd already made friends with Jonathan Swiftkitty and Shelby.

Around nine her family headed out. Tasha came back into the living room looking tired but happy.

"Thanks for cleaning everything up," she said.

"No worries. I wanted you to be able to spend your time with your family."

"I think they liked you."

He smiled. "I hope so. I liked them a lot."

"They're good people. I love them all. I can't believe my mom will be here in two months. That will be so nice."

"Are you worried about them working in the same building next year?"

She shook her head. "They spend a lot of time at each other's offices now and they don't have any problems. Right after the divorce they were a little sore. They'd been drifting apart, and Mom asked for a divorce when she met Lee. My dad felt hurt, I think. Then he met Michelle when they went to the divorce attorney's office. She's a paralegal there. Moving into the Traverse City office helped my dad feel better while he processed the divorce. He had to wait until he stopped being a client before he could date Michelle. Once he started dating her things between my parents became fine again."

"Makes sense. It sounds like this move will be helpful for the growing the business."

"Definitely. I love that Mom will be closer. It's not like her house is that far away now, and since she works in town we do lunch once a week, but being able to see her in five minutes whenever I need a Mom hug? That's going to be amazing."

He tried not to be jealous. "Totally."

She put her arms around his neck. "And your Mom and Dad will be here next year. We will make that happen."

Raf settled his hands on her waist. "You're the best."

He kissed her sweetly.

She brought him into a hug and laid her head on his shoulder. "This is nice."

"Everything about us is nice," he said.

Although the sex they had afterward might have been a little more spice than nice. Raf had zero complaints about that.

Thursday Rafael did more planning with Adam and Sarah before heading to the taproom. When he took his place behind the bar he welcomed his town buddies with their favorite beer, then gave tourists what would hopefully become a favorite beer.

An hour later he had a lull, so he turned to chat with Tasha. She handed over a beer and credit card, looked up, and suddenly tensed. Raf followed her line of sight to find a handsome blond man escorting a very pregnant woman. Striding over to her, he slipped his fingers into hers.

"Is that your ex?"

She nodded. They watched the couple find a table with another couple and sit.

"I shouldn't let it bother me, but I see her with that belly and it's everything I wanted and couldn't have."

Raf squeezed her hand. "You have me now, and I adore you. Remember that."

She looked up at him and smiled sadly. "I hope that's enough."

He felt like she'd stabbed him. Although he knew she wanted kids, he hadn't really understood quite how much until he saw this look on her face. Her interest in children came from a place of pure need. It made him wonder if maybe he ought to let her go to be with someone who wanted that.

A customer came up to Tasha, so Raf returned to his spot in the middle of the bar. He cringed when her ex came up.

"I'd like the pale ale, and when you give me change, make sure there are at least five ones. My girlfriend's pregnant, so we need to use the vending machine for soda."

Rafael didn't remind His Douchiness that the vending machine took credit cards. Instead he got the pint and made change as requested. Geoffrey took them without thanking Raf and headed back to his table. What had Tasha seen in that asshat? The guy wasn't straight up rude, but he definitely came off as an entitled prick. Raf couldn't imagine Tasha accepting that. Yet she'd married the guy. Maybe her level of settling went far beyond what Rafael had imagined.

That thought depressed him, and he stayed in a funk for the next two hours. Finally Geoffrey and his trophy girlfriend headed out. Tasha came up to Rafael.

"What was I thinking?" she asked plaintively.

He couldn't help the bark of laughter that came out. After stewing over her behavior, he felt relieved she knew she'd make a serious mistake.

"He is good looking," Raf said. "And at least he seemed attentive to the woman, so I imagine he treated you well. But you can definitely do a lot better than him."

She smiled. "I already have."

Any residual resentment melted away. "You're a once in a lifetime kind of girl, Tasha Yancey, and I am damn lucky to be your roommate and whatever else we are."

"I feel the same amount of lucky to be with you, Rafael Santos. Especially about the whatever else we are. I know I said I was tired and wanted to go straight to bed after we got home tonight, but I'm thinking I don't need a full eight hours of sleep tonight."

He grinned back at her. "Someone in Brazil would say about me, 'Nascer de bunda para a lua.' He was born with his butt towards the moon. Which means I'm a lucky asshole."

Tasha laughed. "Then let's be lucky together."

He sighed happily, and if a corner of his mind happened to be processing the disparity between their view of children, he managed to block it out.

### Chapter 15: Tasha

As she became awake and conscious, Tasha realized a few things. First, she hadn't set her alarm because it was Sunday and she could sleep in. Second, Rafael, Jonathan Swiftkitty, and Shelby all lay snuggled against her, which made waking up way more fun. And third, she felt totally and completely fantastic. Whatever remnants of unhappiness after Geoffrey left had been replaced by the sheer joy of being with a man who cared about her unreservedly, and whom she also deeply cared about. Whom she was falling in love wi... Oh. No, she'd already fallen. She loved Rafael Santos.

Everything about that felt right. She couldn't think of anyone who deserved her love more. She could trust Raf, and she knew he would never cheat. Add that to being kind, humorous, intelligent, talented, and loyal, and she'd found herself a near perfect specimen of maleness.

Unfortunately, he could never be her perfect man if he didn't want kids. Her imaginings of her ideal future had always involved children with her potential dream man. As satisfying as romantic relationships could be, she'd always wanted the joy of raising a little person up to face the world. Thinking of a future with Rafael but no child left her yearning still. Maybe some day she would be able to move past that, but for now she felt a little empty knowing he may never want to be a father.

Still, she wanted Rafael in her future no matter what. As much as her promotion and her mom coming back to Sleepy Sands had given her hope, the majority of her bliss could be attributed to her sexy Model Man. She didn't think of him as her hookup or as roommates with benefits anymore. In truth, she'd already made a commitment to coupledom with him. Even though they hadn't admitted to being in a relationship, they really were. So why not accept that? Why not call him her boyfriend and take all the risks of being in a real relationship?

She couldn't think of a single reason not to. Sure, she may want to hold off on throwing around the 'love' word. Even though he'd made great strides in moving forward, he probably wouldn't be ready to discuss feelings that intense yet. Best to wait until he started the love conversation.

However, nothing was stopping the boyfriend conversation. A smile crossed her face when she realized that as soon as Raf woke up, they could discuss her desire to be together.

For the next three hours Tasha felt hyper, waiting anxiously until her guy became conscious and could become her guy officially. Fortunately she still had enough brainpower to paint properly, and when she finished dabbing on some white highlights she stopped for a minute and realized the painting looked finished. Standing up and stepping back, she analyzed it from different angles. It definitely looked complete. Most importantly, it looked like the best thing she'd ever done.

"Hey."

She whipped her head to the doorway, startled that she hadn't heard Rafael up and moving around.

"Morning," she said. "Will you come look at this and tell me if you think it's done?"

He nodded, then yawned and stretched, showing off all the muscles highlighted by his shirtlessness. Clad only in sweetpants (grey sweatpants), he walked into the room and scratched at his happy trail. As he looked at the painting she surreptitiously looked at him. They both got to appreciate something beautiful, but whoever made him was by far the better artist.

"It's incredible, Tash. I love it." His voice sounded gruffer than usual, still rusty from waking up. "I can't imagine anything that would make it better than it is right now."

"Thanks. Ready to make some brunch?"

He smiled lazily. "Sounds good."

As they headed downstairs, she rehearsed what to say in her mind. She started the coffee machine as Rafael pulled ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard.

"I want to be your girlfriend," she blurted out as he set a pan on the stove. Okay, maybe not the best way to say that.

He cocked his head. "You want us to tell people we're going out?"

"I want to be going out. And I also want to tell people about it."

"I like the idea of us being together, but I have to ask: do you still want children in the long run? Because I don't see that for myself. I don't want us to fall in love and think about being together forever, but be caught between these two desires where we can't compromise."

Clearly he hadn't fallen in love with her, then. She tried not to be disappointed about that. It didn't work. A part of her heart curled in on itself.

"I know you're afraid of losing a child after what happened to your brother, but I want to know if that's the only stumbling block. If there was no risk in having children, would you want them then?"

That made him frown slightly. She feared she may have overstepped, but then she realized his expression reflected being deep in thought rather than being deeply unhappy.

Finally his expression cleared. "I would. If there was no risk, then yes, I would want to have children. Especially with you. But there is a risk, Tashinha. I'm not just afraid of losing a child. I'm actually terrified of it. I have nightmares about it sometimes."

"I can't begin to understand what you went through, even with my grandmother dying the way she did. Losing Diego was such a major event, and it's only natural that colored your view of family and what your future would look like. But you have to remember there's risk in loving anyone. There's a risk you could die, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be with you for the rest of my life. There's a risk I could die. Is us being together worth the risk?"

"Of course. But you're an adult, and even if I lost you, I would know you lived a good life."

"Good lives are measured in love, not years."

Rafael stayed silent for several seconds, and Tasha wondered if she had pushed him too far.

"You're right," he finally said. "Diego lived a good life. But he deserved more. I know life isn't fair, and I accept that. I just find it hard to reconcile my awareness of the realities of life with knowing that he shined so bright and could have been so much more. Fate took something away from him. It wasn't an act of ending his life. It was an act of stealing it."

"Is anyone's life really given freely? Even people who commit suicide fight and suffer from that decision."

"True. I guess what I really resent about Diego's death isn't that his life was stolen from him. It's that his life was stolen from me."

She nodded. "That's a totally valid way to feel. I would never judge you for that. I'm just saying that whatever feelings you have, you can't prevent death from coming for anyone else you love. So you have to ask yourself whether you feeling safe is worth not forming attachments. Or whether it's worth it to take a risk and have children, knowing you have no control over where life takes them."

He looked lost. "I don't know. I just don't know."

"Are you at least willing to think about it and come up with an answer at some point in the future?"

"Definitely. This is an important decision for us, and I want to make sure I've figured out the right choice. I'll do some soul searching over the next few days. I know how much you want children, and I need to know whether I can do that for you."

She put her hand on his arm. "Don't do it for me. Do it for you. I don't want guilt or obligation factoring into your decision. I want to be with you whether we have kids or not. We are going out. You can take all the time you need deciding what the long term plan will be."

Apparently she'd said the right thing, because Rafael grabbed her waist, picked her up, and spun her around in a circle, kissing her as soon as her feet touched the floor again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted to her toes, giving him all of her with that kiss. He definitely took it. He led the way, and she followed. His hands caressed her body as her fingers played with his hair.

When he pulled away her mouth hung open for a second.

"Breakfast," he said, grinning.

She laughed. "Right. You're hungry. It takes a lot of energy to keep all those muscles drool-worthy."

"I may not be modeling professionally right now, but that doesn't mean I'm giving in to dad bod."

"For which I am one hundred percent grateful. The way you look turns me on, I won't lie."

His grin grew wider. "The way you look turns me on, too, xuxu."

"Guess it's a good thing I'm your girlfriend."

"A very good thing," he growled. He reached a hand out toward her, but she stepped back.

"Breakfast, remember?"

"For now. But after I eat my food, I want dessert. And what I want isn't on anyone's nutrition plan."

"No one's come up with the Cum and Pussy Diet yet?"

Rafael laughed. "I don't think anyone's making any rules about three servings a day."

"We can make it our personal relationship rule."

"Mmm. I like the way you think, Tasha Yancey."

"I like the way you everything, Rafael Santos."

"If I wasn't in the middle of cooking eggs, I would kiss that mouth."

In the end, breakfast tasted good, but dessert felt better. Raf said afterward that he wanted to do some thinking surrounded by nature, so he went off to do the dune climb. Tasha headed up to her studio and took some pics of her finished painting, emailing Rosalind at the gallery to see if she would be interested in selling it. After grabbing a blank canvas and sketching with a piece of charcoal, she felt ready to start a new painting. This time she wanted to do something different.

She wanted to try painting a portrait, which she hadn't done for years. Last week Raf had fallen asleep on the couch with Ileana cuddled up on his chest and his arm curled around her. After dying of cuteness, Tasha had grabbed her phone and taken a photo. It occurred to her at the time that it would make a glorious painting, and in the days following she got the idea to make him lying in a bed with a fantastical, fairy tale setting. Sleeping Handsome, she'd call it. It probably wouldn't appeal to a high art clientele like Rosalind's, but she knew other Sleepers would appreciate it. Though most likely she would keep it. Regardless of whether she continued living with Rafael, seeing him as a handsome prince with his cat would always make her heart beat a little faster.

When he got home from the dune climb, Tasha had gotten a good start on the painting. They usually ate dinner early on Saturday and Sunday, so she cleaned up her supplies. Rafael peeked his head into the bathroom as she rinsed out brushes.

"I need to shower before dinner. Join me?" he asked.

"Hmm. Three servings a day, huh?"

A wicked grin answered her. "Consider this a mid-day snack."

This was one diet she could stick to.

Their first evening as a true couple felt extremely romantic. They went to Old Sands Inn, and when Mikey came out to say hi they told him their news. He sent a crème brûlée with a heart made from raspberry sauce on top and two spoons. After their meal they went outside to sit on one of the huge wraparound porch's swings facing Glen Lake.

They curled up and Raf kept the swing moving. He brought up his indecision about what to do with his room now that they slept together in her bed every night. He said he'd ordered some backdrops and lights to make a corner of the basement into a photography area so he'd have somewhere to shoot the fashions by local designers. That meant he didn't need the bedroom for his photography, and he didn't think he really needed an office.

Of course, the long term utility of the room would have a lot to do with whether or not they had children. If Rafael decided he could handle parenthood, then Tasha wanted to have their first child fairly soon. That room would become the child's room. There would be no point spending a lot of time and money decorating the room to be anything else.

"We don't have to decide right away," she said.

He opened his mouth and then seemed to understand why she would say that. His expression tightened, but he nodded. "You're right. Maybe it's better to wait."

"I don't mean to pressure you."

"I know." He reached his hand around hers and squeezed. "I know. You're not. It's fine."

"My mom showed me the listing for her new house. It's right on the lake like this. It's beautiful."

"Do you want to live up against the lake some day?" he asked.

"No. I like having the backyard with flowers and a garden. It's possible to have a small back or side yard with a lake house, but it's not quite the same. I know it's probably silly to be so attached to the house I grew up in, but I really love it."

"Are there memories for you from what happened with your grandmother?"

She shook her head. "Not anymore. It was hard as a teenager, but after college I decorated everything to my tastes. It felt like my own space, more personal and more positive."

"Interesting. I don't think I would want to go back to the places I grew up. They were small and not very nice."

"Would you want a house on a lake?" They tended to be costly, but if they decided not to have children they would have two incomes and no one to spend the money on.

"No. I love your house. It's become my home in every way. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else."

"I've never loved being there as much as I have with you."

Rafael leaned in and kissed her nose, then her lips, then took her lips again, sliding his tongue toward hers. She kissed him back, letting her fingers tangle into his wild curls.

"What time do we have to be at this show?" he asked.

"Psht. Show? What show?"

They kissed like teenagers until they heard the back door of the Inn open and a group of people come out. Probably they shouldn't gross out the guests and neighbors, so they went back to chatting.

At eight they headed over to Jonni's, the rock club. Nigel's band would be headlining, but the first band had started playing. They were kids home from college. Tasha knew them, but Rafael hadn't met them since they were too young to drink. He seemed to enjoy the music. She'd heard the band play at an all ages show she brought her little brother and sister to. The group had matured as musicians. She loved being able to see artists grow and develop, and Sleepy Sands had so many people working at making themselves better. Living here truly warmed her heart.

After that band finished, Tasha and Rafael went around to chat with friends, revealing their official status. Everyone seemed excited for them. When the second band went offstage, Tasha and Rafael joined Cara, Mikey, Heather, and Adam.

"Group hug!" Cara called.

They formed a circle and squeezed.

"We should do a weekend trip together," Heather said. "After the summer rush when it's just locals and everything calms down."

"When is that usually?" Rafael asked.

"After Detroit hockey training camp," Mikey said. "Which is last weekend of September this year."

Adam's eyes lit up. "The first weekend of October I'm headed to Detroit for a one day festival at Jasper. We've got big name deejays coming in. How'd you like to be my VIP guests? Go down Friday and have dinner together, then maybe catch a sports game, then spend Saturday at Jasper, and do the zoo Sunday morning before driving home?"

Rafael turned beseeching eyes on Tasha. She grinned.

"We'd love to," she said.

"I'm so in," said Heather.

Cara and Mikey nodded in unison. "Yes, please," she said.

"It will really help me get a better idea of what you want Jasper North to be like if I can spend some time at Jasper," Rafael said.

"Good point," said Adam. "And it'll give you a chance to meet Sarah face to face."

"Should I be jealous?" Tasha teased. As much as she didn't want to be jealous, she knew Rafael had fun talking to Sarah.

Rafael turned to her and kissed her cheek. "Only you, xuxu. Only you," he whispered into her ear.

Tasha's insecurity melted into a dopey smile. "Same."

Raf grinned at her.

"Sarah wouldn't put up with Rafael anyway," Adam joked. "She says she'll only be in a relationship with a man who can beat her in martial arts or make better music."

"Then I'm definitely out," Raf said. "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Tasha squeezed his ass and took her turn whispering. "Such a lover."

He looked a little fuzzy eyed when he turned to her.

Music had them both turning to the stage. Tasha loved Nigel's band's sound – a Britpop throwback. This song in particular she loved. When they introduced themselves she cheered loudly, and Rafael laughed. She could understand why. She generally didn't get loud and demonstrative. But if you couldn't shout and whoop at your boss's show, when could you?

Nigel leaned into the microphone. "I want to dedicate this next song, Love Like Ours, to my amazing Head Beverage Master. Although, I have to admit I'm crushed that she chose someone else over me."

Tasha laughed.

"Get your own girl!" shouted Raf.

"Hey, mate, tell the Fates to send one my way," Nigel returned. "They'll listen to you, you're a male model."

Raf cracked up, as did the rest of the audience. The band launched into the song, which had a good romantic vibe. Rafael stood behind Tasha and wrapped his arms around her waist. After the song finished he asked in her ear, "Is this going to be our song?"

"Do you want it to be?"

"Yeah. How often do you get a song dedicated to you at a concert? It has to be your song after that."

She laughed. "Most people pick the song that's playing when they do something really romantic. Like their first dance."

"Meh. I refuse to count anything at that lousy bar as our song, even if it was the first time we went dancing."

"You make a very good point. The douchey bar should not give us our wedding song. That is, I mean, I'm not saying we're going to get married. I'm just saying..."

Rafael interrupted her stumbling. "I want us to, Tashinha. And I want Nigel's song playing at our reception."

She couldn't see his face with him behind her, but he sounded calm and sincere. Relaxing into his hold, she placed her hands over his. "See, I had been thinking our first reception dance would be something really classy like 'You Shook Me All Night Long.'"

He laughed behind her. "That can be our second dance."

"You're so good for me," she said seriously.

"And you for me. Now hush, I want to concentrate on the music." He kissed her temple so she knew he didn't mean that harshly.

Tasha smiled. The songs carried her away, and when the band played their last she cheered until they came out for an encore. When that finished Rafael finally released his hold and turned her around, giving her a kiss.

"They sound so much better in a club than at a barbecue," he said.

"Agreed. I love their sound. Nigel got us all hooked on British music from playing it at the brewery."

"He doesn't play music I recognize in the taproom, though. Not British, anyway. I remember hearing one of Tom Walker's songs last week."

"Yeah, our playlist is only local artists, because if we're going to spend money on royalties, we want it to count. Go to enough shows with me, and you'll become familiar with the whole playlist."

Rafael smiled. "That's the plan."

"Come on, lovebirds," Cara said. "You both have to work tomorrow. Time to go home."

"Not yet," said Heather. "I heard Jonni's latelining since they were closed yesterday."

"Latelining?" asked Rafael.

Tasha nodded. "Jonni and her band play after the headliners on weekend nights. She doesn't ever want it to look like her club is promoting her band, so they play after the advertised acts. Are you staying, Heather?"

"Of course. Girl crush, remember?"

Adam looked like he wanted to say something dirty but refrained.

"Well, I have stuff going on in the morning. Laters," said Cara. She and Mikey headed out with about half the crowd.

Rafael reached out and took Tasha's hand. It felt like he couldn't spend more than a few minutes not touching her, and she loved that. While she'd never been a huge PDA person, she felt like his touching came from a place of personal hunger rather than an ownership statement.

"What kind of music does Jonni play?" he asked. "She didn't play when we came to see Tom that Saturday."

"Blues rock," Tasha said. "And their bassist was out of town that weekend."

"Her voice is so sultry," Heather said dreamily.

"The biggest downside to owning a dance club is that I won't be able to come here on weekends," Adam said.

"Or to house parties," said Tasha.

"True. As long as Sarah and I are the only deejays we'll have to be there every day we're open. I've asked around about other deejays in Sleepy Sands, but no one has gone the electronic music route yet. Everyone says they like listening to it, but they wanted to play x instrument." Adam sighed.

"Manesh makes house music tracks based around Indian instruments," Heather said.

Adam gave her a slightly queer look that Tasha took to be wondering why she would talk up her ex to the guy she currently dated. But apparently Adam had come to understand Heather's attachments and didn't take them personally, because he asked if Manesh also deejayed.

"Not that I know," said Heather. "And I would be the last person to ask him."

Right. Because Heather and Manesh's interactions after he came back from his two years in India had all been awkward as hell. Even though they stared at each mournfully during those conversations. Even though they alternated staring at each other across rooms, regardless of whether their current significant other happened to be there. Even though everything about them screamed that they wanted to be back together.

Tasha shook her head. Heather's love saga wasn't any of her business. She had her hands full with figuring out how to make things work with Rafael. Glancing over at him, she noticed a sad look on his face.

"What's wrong?" she whispered into his ear.

He nuzzled her neck. "Adam knows she's still in love with Manesh."

That made her sad, too. She loved Heather to pieces, but obsessing over the past would never be healthy. Tasha adored Adam, and wanted him to be with someone who could commit a hundred percent of their affection to him. As she watched Adam interact with Heather, she finally realized he had the same hopes, and he hadn't given his heart over. He seemed to enjoy Heather for the relationship they did have, and didn't appear to be upset about not having more.

Tasha didn't think she could ever be like that. She wanted someone who put her first, and when she realized Geoffrey didn't, she'd written him off. Getting over the betrayal had taken time, but getting over her own feelings for him? That took days. She wondered if it had been like that for Raf. Maybe one of these days she'd ask him. Sometimes she felt like his betrayal remained too fresh to talk about.

Thoughts stalled as his lips worked their way across her chin and onto her own lips. She kissed him deeply, hungrily. He pulled away and looked at her.

"Best first official date ever," he said.

"Not just for us, but for life on earth in general."

He nodded with faux earnestness. "Absolutely."

Tasha's lips twitched. "You really do fit in here sickeningly well."

Raf laughed. "Good. Because Sleepy Sands and the completely amazing people who live here make me very happy."

"I'm happy that you're happy."

And she felt happy in her own right. Life had been good to her post-Geoffrey. She still worried about Rafael's decision on the children issue, but she couldn't do anything about it for now. As much as she wanted kids, she couldn't force Rafael to want them. In the end his decision wouldn't change her feelings about him. She'd be willing to go on whatever journey Rafael took her on. If that meant no children, well, she'd deal with those feelings later.

### Chapter 16: Rafael

Monday and Tuesday Raf stayed busy with work and social media, so he didn't get a chance to think for long periods about the children situation. After Tasha left for work Wednesday, he sat down in the recliner in the living room, pulled out the footrest, and waited for Ileana to jump up and join him. When she did, he petted her.

"Hey, baby," he said to her. "How's my Ileana? You gonna help me do some thinking today? It's been three days and I'm no closer to figuring out whether I could ever be okay with having children."

Shelby barked from the couch.

He looked over at her. "I don't think three days is that long, Shelb. It's a big decision."

She put her head on her paws.

"Yeah, that's about how I feel. I don't know what to do. I remember, before Diego got sick again, being a teenager and thinking about some nebulous future where I had a wife and children. Then after Diego died, that changed. That future became a wife, and only a wife."

He fell silent, remembering his ideas about what his life would become. As he petted Ileana, he felt compelled to speak aloud again.

"So what do I want now? How many people in my life can I worry about dying? And is that worry an acceptable reason for me to not form new attachments? To not have something I used to dream of?"

Running his fingers through Ileana's fur helped him to sort out all the jumbled thoughts in his head. The fear, the anger, the desire for a life with a full family. He thought of a baby that looked like a cross between Tasha and him, that made that little 'o' with its mouth like its mamãe, that grew up to be a willful teenager, and a studious college kid, and a generous adult. Yes, he wanted that, but he couldn't divorce that dream from the images of Diego sick in his hospital bed, barely hanging on. Raf would be flipping a coin whether he got one or the other. Maybe Diego's disease had been hereditary and Rafael would pass that on to his children. Or his children's children. Was it any easier to think of his grandchild suffering from cancer?

He just didn't know what would happen, and that lack of control bothered him. In other ways, the capricious nature of life didn't stress him out. What fate brought he took, dealt with, and moved on from. Yet somehow in this instance, in this one way, he couldn't get over the block in his head that fundamentally resented the world for taking Diego away. God, how he missed his brother. That innocent, eager soul who always wanted to help and learn and brighten everyone's day.

Raf's parents were affectionate to their children, and had become more so with each other over the years, but they treated people outside the family with a certain reticence. Even Gabs looked at the world with a bit of suspicion. Diego had never been that way. He'd given everyone the full force of his enthusiasm and caring. No one needed to prove themselves to Diego. Being alive made them valuable to him. He'd fed the stray animals in the area. He'd stood up for any kid being bullied, even if it meant coming home with a black eye. In São Paulo he'd found out which places provided food and shelter to the homeless, then gave that information to anyone he saw living on the streets.

Raf remembered Diego with a reverence that bordered on thinking the kid had been a saint. He'd pushed down those memories of Diego being tired, or frustrated, or difficult. Sometimes he felt like he'd built up Diego's memory into a paragon that Raf could never reach. Yes, Raf had self-confidence and he felt like a good person, but compared to that shining image of Diego? Raf fell short, because he would always be the person who couldn't save his brother. A good guy, but incapable of protecting someone he loved.

It didn't follow that Raf would always be incapable of that, or even that people he loved would always be in danger. Somehow he had to break the connection between 'person he loved' and 'person he failed to protect.' So he did that for the rest of the day. He pulled up every assumption related to those feelings, examined them, and rejected them. Raf had done everything he could do for Diego, and he would continue to strive to help his loved ones. Beyond that, he had no control over what life brought.

At least he'd found a safe haven for his loved ones in Sleepy Sands. He considered it the best place he could live, and the best place he could be to ensure his parents, sisters, and potential children would have a good life.

By the time Tasha walked through the front door, Rafael had dinner ready and a whole new attitude to share.

"You look really happy," she observed. "Did something happen?"

"I spent the day thinking, and I made peace with myself. So yeah, I am really happy. I'm happy in Sleepy Sands, and I'm happy with you, and I'm happy to be the person who lived my life. I feel like I've slayed some of my demons. I want to have children with you, even if their life and happiness can't be guaranteed."

Tasha squealed and pulled him into a tight hug. "Thank you. Thank you for doing the work you needed to in order to get here. And thank you for making my dreams come true."

He kissed her temple. "I want to spend a few more months together with us getting to know each other and making sure we have what it takes for forever. But I see marriage and kids coming soon. I won't make you wait."

"That's because you're the best guy in the history of straight men."

Raf laughed. "I don't know if I'd go that far, but I'm glad I'm in the top one percent."

"Point one percent. The only people up there with you are my friends and family." She kissed him on the lips, hard, but quickly.

"More of that, xuxu. We're going to have a family together."

The next kiss they took their time with.

A beep of the kitchen timer stopped them from having another serving of the Cum and Pussy Diet. As they ate, Raf told her about the mountains he'd formed in his mind, and the ways he'd climbed over them.

"I want to call my parents to tell them we're together, and that I changed my mind about having children," he said as she finished a Brazilian coffee cookie.

"Sounds good. Also, these are fricking amazing."

Raf grinned. "Mãe's recipe, so you can thank her."

"I will."

They cleaned up and went to the living room, collapsing on the couch in a pile together. Raf pulled out his phone and called his family with his speakerphone on. He greeted them and asked them to speak in English again.

"Rafinho, is everything alright?" His mother sounded concerned. "You don't call on Wednesdays."

"Very alright," he said. "I'm calling to introduce you to my girlfriend. Or maybe she's my fiancée? What are we, xuxu?"

Tasha looked nervous. "We're together, and we're figuring that part out. I'm Tasha Yancey, Rafael's housemate."

"The owner of the house," Raf said. "She just lets me live here."

"Notice she's actually charging you money for that," Gabs teased.

Tasha laughed.

"I'm his sister, Gabriela. It's nice to hear your voice, Tasha. My brother has been infatuated with you since he met you, but I didn't think he had, what is it called, enough game to be with you."

"He's got pretty good game," Tasha said. "It's nice to meet you, too."

"Such a pretty voice," his mother declared. "You must call me Beatriz, Tasha."

"And I am Fernando."

"It's so good to meet you both. I've heard so much about you from Rafael."

"We have heard about you," his mãe said. "Rafael showed us your website with your paintings. You are so talented. And then you work such an interesting job. My own mãe made a homemade wine, but she died before I was old enough to drink it. I never made it, but I have been looking to see if I have the recipe written down somewhere."

"Oh, I would love to see that." Tasha said. "Wine nerds are always looking for new ideas."

"Nerds?" asked his mother in her heavy accent.

"People who really get excited about something. Or study hard in school," said Tasha.

"Ahh. I have nothing like that in my life. I do my work and I cook and I clean and I take care of my family. This is what everyone does. Rafinho says that makes it hard for him to find me a job in America."

Tasha's face wrinkled sympathetically. "I have faith we'll find something for you to do, Beatriz. There are a lot of businesses in Sleepy Sands we'll check with, and my stepfather is going to ask around to all his business contacts."

"That is so kind of you, Tashina," his mãe said. "What a good partner you will be for Rafael. We noticed he was very happy in Sleepy Sands. We wondered, maybe it was a woman?"

"Ver passarinho verde," his pai said.

"What does that mean?" asked a confused Tasha.

"To see a green bird," said Raf. "If someone is really happy and you don't know why, it's generally because they found a new love. A green bird."

"So I'm a cat and a green bird?" Tasha teased.

"You're so many things." He winked. "Mãe, Pai, Gabs, the other thing I wanted you to know is that I did a lot of thinking, and I came to a decision. Some day, hopefully soon, Tasha and I are going to have children."

His mother gasped, and his father's voice rumbled with satisfaction.

"Wow," said Gabs. "That's huge for you, Raf. I really look forward to being an aunt."

"And maybe some day a mother?" he asked.

She snorted. "Only if these men in Sleepy Sands are worth marrying. I'm not too convinced if lovely Tasha couldn't find one she liked."

"Don't think of it that way," Tasha protested. "There are a lot of great guys in Sleepy Sands. They just weren't right for me."

"Are any of these great guys actually single?" asked Gabs.

"Yeah," Tasha said. "My boss just broke up with someone, and he's one of the best guys I know. Twenty-seven and owns his own business."

"That is a man worth meeting," Raf's mother said.

He chuckled. "Mãe. Let Gabriela choose her own boyfriend."

"Yes," Gabs said. "I don't need any help."

Mãe snorted. "Well, now that Rafinho has found his lady of the night, it is your turn."

Tasha looked at Raf with alarm.

He tried not to laugh. "Mãe, I don't think 'lady of the night' means what you think it means."

"Oh. What do I mean?"

"I really don't know," he said firmly,

"What does lady of the night mean?"

Now Tasha was the one trying not to laugh.

He thought of the best way to say it.

"A prostituta," Gabs said flatly. "You just called your future daughter-in-law a prostitute. So good job, Mãe."

His mother gasped. "That is not... I did not... desculpa, Tasha. I think I need to study my English more."

"It helps if you say 'sorry' in the language," Raf said, fighting a grin.

"Yes! Sorry!" His poor mother sounded panicked.

Meanwhile Tasha shook from silent laughter. Raf shook his head. At least this made a good story.

"Why don't you tell us more about yourself, Tasha?" Gabriela asked, clearly feeling sorry for everyone.

Tasha finally stopped laughing enough to speak, and the five of them chatted for another half hour. When Raf and Tasha hung up they looked at each other and started cracking up.

"Well, my lady of the night, do you still want to go wine tasting with Adam and I tonight?" he asked.

"Definitely. I need to be up to date on what competitors are doing so I can make my stuff unique."

Raf called Adam, who agreed to meet them at Cherry Heaven in Glen Arbor. Heather, Mikey, and Cara had decided not to go tasting there since they went often enough. When Raf arrived, he found a large store with lots of other goods.

"What is all this?" he asked.

"Cherry paradise," Adam said.

"Jams, candies, dried cherries, everything you could wish for," said Tasha.

Adam headed to the tasting counter and introduced himself as the future owner of a club. The trio ended up trying every wine there and getting into a lively argument over what they should stock.

"We only really need one cherry wine," Adam said.

"Lies," said Tasha. "You need all the cherry wines."

"I say two," Raf said. "That's what the area is known for, so two makes sense, but anything beyond that and people are going to feel overwhelmed."

"Fine. Then which two?" asked Tasha.

Raf eyed them, remembering each rich flavor. "And we're back to all of them."

Adam started laughing.

"What?" Raf asked.

"We'll just get my favorite. It's my club."

Raf raised his hand. "Co-owner, remember? And bar manager. We get my favorite."

Tasha held up her own hand. "Girlfriend who will actually be drinking while the two of you are working. So if we're picking favorites, I win."

"She has a point," Adam said.

Raf nodded. "You know I won't deny you anything, Tashinha. Which two do you want?"

Tasha pointed to her favorites, and Raf felt some relief that they were actually the two he'd been leaning toward.

"We should buy some bottles to take home and compare to the other wines we end up sourcing," Adam said.

"Also, I want one of the dessert wines for us," Raf said to Tasha.

"For cooking?" Adam snickered.

"If by cooking you mean drinking, then yes," said Rafael.

"We also need some dried fruit and nut mixes," Tasha said.

They ended up going down each aisle in the store, and between Tasha and Adam's recommendations, Raf's basket got piled up with things.

"Oh, I really like this one, too," Tasha said, handing over a jar of preserves.

"You 'really like' all of them," Raf said drily.

"You have to try them! They're good."

On his other side Adam examined a different jar. "I don't remember this one. I'll have to try it."

"Didn't you say you came here the first week you moved up?" asked Raf.

Adam looked at him skeptically. "Yeah, but I couldn't buy everything." Adam set the jar into his basket and moved down the aisle.

Raf started laughing. Hell, if Tasha and Adam wanted to treat the place as a grocery store, who was he to argue? Everything Tasha picked out sounded tasty, so he may as well indulge. When they checked out their purchases filled three tote bags.

"Do you want to come over for a bit?" Tasha asked Adam.

"Thanks, but I'm supposed to meet up with Heather as soon as we finish. I don't think she can stay out late, but she wanted to, uh, stop by and say hi."

"To your dick, maybe," said Tasha.

Adam shrugged innocently.

"Catch you later, man," Raf said, looping his fingers into Tasha's.

"Yup. If I don't open the door tomorrow it means I'm in a cherry-induced sugar coma," said Adam.

"I'll send help."

They loaded up their cars, waved, and headed out. Tasha talked about all the recipes she wanted to try with her new goodies on the way home. Raf considered the possibility he would get really sick of cherries from living in Sleepy Sands. He did like cherries, so he thought it might take a year or two.

At the house they unloaded the bags and found places to put everything. Tasha seemed to be kind of half dancing, half walking, so when they got everything onto shelves he pulled up a playlist on his phone. After pressing play he walked up to Tasha, whose mouth had made his favorite little 'o,' and pulled her into his arms. They swayed around the kitchen through that song and into several more.

As they moved to the music he imagined them in ten years, dancing around the kitchen like this, still totally crazy about each other, but with two kids spinning in circles beside them. A girl with Tasha's little round mouth expression, but his curls, and a boy with Raf's eyes and paint all over his fingers. He could have that future.

He would have that future. His happiness would be living with Tasha and their little ones, who would be doted on by their grandparents in Sleepy Sands. Gabs would have her own little ones, and hopefully a brother-in-law he could tolerate, and Jasper North would be a mecca for dance music tourism. Tasha would have several staff members making beverages which would be sold across the country, and every year they would put out a different limited edition flower wine.

Widening the images, he saw Mikey and Cara married with their three children, and Heather and Manesh finally back together with their own two cuties. Adam would have found the love of his life, and he'd be the proud father of two humans and two furballs. The eight adults would go out sometimes when babysitters were available to eat at By the Lake before heading off for a show at Jonni's. Nigel's band would still be headlining, and they'd play Tasha and Rafael's song, but it would be dedicated to their own spouses.

Scout and Kaya would have a vacation condo at By the Sands, and they'd come out for two weeks every summer. They'd love Sleepy Sands, but with Scout being the number one male model in the world, he'd be too busy to settle down in the Midwest.

Speaking of Scout, he needed to call his best friend and tell him about the Tasha and kids plan. Scout would be shocked, but he'd understand the decision didn't count as crazy for a man falling in love. When you found the right woman, you ripped up all your plans and made new ones.

Raf tucked Tasha's head under his chin and brought her waist to his. He'd found the right woman, and he'd made his new plans, and now nothing was going to stand in his way of keeping them.

### Chapter 17: Tasha

Although coming home on Friday evenings seemed lonely since Rafael moved in, this time Tasha actually celebrated him being gone. She'd come up with the perfect surprise for him, and now she needed to make it happen. He'd asked the other day if all terrain vehicles could be driven on the dunes, and she'd told him that because of environmental strain they could not. She hadn't told him they could be driven in a state park a couple hours south, because she wanted to set up a rental in ten days.

It also occurred to her that Rafael hadn't been to Le Sable yet, and unlike Adam, he hadn't taken any vow not to. Their surprise date to Silver Lake State Park should totally be joined with an evening out at the best restaurant in town. If her instincts proved correct, she could congratulate herself on being a next level girlfriend.

Fiancée? They hadn't really discussed that. Did he want to propose to her in order to make it official? Or were they doing things more casually and organically? She didn't know whether she should bring up that conversation. A lot of guys didn't appreciate pressure. After reflection, Tasha decided Rafael probably wouldn't freak out about the conversation, but after just agreeing to go out less than a week ago, the discussion about when and where to get married seemed a little premature.

The next day Rafael and Tasha spent the afternoon setting up the area in the basement to be Raf's studio since he had his first official photo shoot Sunday. They both woke up early to get ready for it. She worried he'd be exhausted after working late, but he seemed cheerful enough as they made breakfast.

Soon Izzy Poten-Ivory arrived at the house with all of the clothes she'd designed and made over the summer. Cara came next with her travel makeup kit. Finally Izzy's three best friends showed up to model. The trio had different ethnic backgrounds, which Tasha knew Rafael appreciated. He'd told her he got bored shooting for magazines and companies that only wanted white faces. That didn't reflect the modern world.

Izzy introduced the girls to Rafael and explained who would be wearing what. Then she and Raf discussed how to shoot the various outfits. Izzy wanted some indoor shots and some outdoor shots. Tasha had offered the backyard as a shooting space, and Izzy had eagerly taken her up on it.

The girls scattered to get dressed. Izzy stayed in the living room and looked between Tasha and Cara.

"Do you need something, Izzy?" Tasha asked.

Izzy bit her lip. "I made two outfits that are a little more mature, and I'm wondering if you two would wear them. I'm pretty sure they'll fit."

Tasha looked to Cara, who shrugged.

"Sure," Cara said.

"I mean, I've never modeled anything before," Tasha said.

"You'll be fine, Tashinha," Raf said. "I'll walk you through everything."

Tasha had never been into posing, and she rarely took shots of herself. Modeling seemed pretty alien. She just didn't have that show-off gene that so many people did. Her natural inclination would be to say no to Izzy. However, the hopeful look on Rafael's face had her second guessing that. He seemed truly eager to have her model for him. While he'd taken a few pics of her before, they'd been spontaneous snapshots. If wearing Izzy's beautiful design and having Rafael order her around made him happy, she could get past her self-consciousness and do that.

"Okay," she said. "I'll model the other outfit."

The grin on Raf's face showed she'd made the right decision.

He started with the other models, working in the basement and backyard with equal enthusiasm. He had amazing skills as a photographer. Not only did he communicate effortlessly and kindly to coax the models into the best shots, his enthusiasm energized everyone around him. Izzy had a tablet which showed off the shots, and Tasha glanced over her shoulder to see he'd created fun and flattering pics. The clothes looked amazing, and the shots looked very high end.

After he finished with the three friends and they left, Raf moved to Cara. When he had what he needed she left, too. With a huge smile, Raf took Tasha's hand and set her into place in front of the camera.

"I want you like this," he said, moving her gently.

Where he'd been fairly hands off with the other women – only touching where he needed to – he didn't stop touching Tasha. Apparently he decided not to describe anything to her. He just posed her the way he wanted. He also seemed to be taking more shots of her. Tasha glanced at Izzy to see what she thought of this change of behavior and saw a knowing grin on the designer's face. A flush spread across Tasha's cheeks.

"No, xuxu, no blushing. I can't use that," Raf said. He paused with his camera pointed up and waited until her skin returned to the tone he wanted.

After so many shots Tasha didn't understand how there could be more, Raf moved her into position and then trailed his fingertips down her spine onto her ass. His eyes practically burned a hole in hers. Mouth dry, she held the pose as he took several pictures. Then he stopped and came over again to whisper into her ear.

"I wish you were naked right now," he said.

She felt her cheeks heating up again.

"Not that again," Raf chided. "Now we have to wait."

"I think you've exhausted the possibilities with me and this outfit," Tasha said firmly. "I'm pretty sure we're done."

Raf looked disappointed. "Izzy, do you have what you wanted?"

Izzy's lips quirked. "Definitely. I've got lots of options for this look." Tasha read that as: 'Thank you for the eighteen thousand pictures of your girlfriend. I'll need two.'

Tasha headed off to change while Izzy and Rafael consulted. When she came back they were looking over the tablet with intense expressions. Leaving the outfit for Izzy, Tasha headed back up to her studio to try to get some painting done.

"What are you working on?"

Tasha looked up and saw Raf standing in the doorway. It took her a second to realize he'd just asked a question. She'd been painting for a while, so she must have zoned out. Presumably he'd finished with Izzy. "The painting of you and Ileana."

He came in and stood next to her. "Are you going to want me to pose at some point?"

"It would be nice, but it isn't necessary. I have the photo."

"You posed for me. I should pose for you."

She grinned. "For as much as I posed for you, I'll need to make about four paintings of you before we're even."

"Sorry." He looked a little sheepish. "Did you get bored?"

"No. It was fun. It just seemed like you spent more time on me than anyone else."

Raf grinned. "I was feeling the energy more with you, and I got better shots. You're very photogenic."

Tasha lifted an eyebrow. "You're definitely the first person to make that claim."

"Apparently you've never had a photographer who was crazy about you before. You have an essence, a purity. Your goodness comes out in the photo, and I just want to capture that forever. I've shot other women I've been in relationships with, and yeah, I enjoyed that, but they didn't have the magnetism. Now I'm addicted. I'm going to want to take pictures of you all the time."

"You know how to make a girl feel good, Rafael Santos."

"Only because you're already a good girl, Tasha Yancey."

"Well, I'm not going to pose for you every day or even every week, but in moderation I could get used to putting your hands all over me and taking photographs."

He winked. "Any time you want you me to touch you, xuxu, you just let me know."

She put her brush into the water jar and stood up, twisting to put her arms around his neck. "Give me a kiss."

Rafael didn't hesitate. Her lips felt overwhelmed by the pressure, and his hands squeezing her waist made her even more aware of his power. Having a guy who took her body the way he wanted to, and took her body places, had turned out to be pretty damn nice. With Geoffrey she had a guy with 'not a total dad bod.' With Rafael she had a guy with 'the body that will make you come twice just from looking.' She'd traded up so much in the past few months.

A sigh escaped her as Raf pulled away.

"It's dinner time," he said.

"Is it? Can I have Brazilian lips for my meal?"

He grinned. "I'm starving. And I want to go out."

They got everything cleaned up, and headed over to Sleepy Basil for Thai.

"I'm so hungry," Rafael said after they were seated.

"They're fairly quick here."

"Hmm?" He pulled his eyes back to her.

"Nothing."

Raf's face softened. "I'm sorry, xuxu. I'm being rude. I didn't eat enough at lunch because I was so in the zone. So, you had fun modeling for the first time?"

"With you as my photographer. I don't think I would enjoy posing for anyone else."

The heated look he gave her made her happy she'd said that.

"I wouldn't want you posing for anyone else. You're my muse," he practically growled.

"As much as my ovaries say yes to that, my brain is a little annoyed by possessiveness."

"I didn't mean it... okay I did mean it. But I know I shouldn't. Let's just say that while I would never give you trouble for posing with another photographer, I would be wildly jealous."

"Even if it's the two of us posing together? Like, say, for a wedding?"

He got a dreamy look on his face. "I wouldn't be jealous of that. Because I'm the one holding you."

"Good to know," she said snidely.

Raf laughed. "I'm a human male with a little brain that's a bit too focused on my woman."

She couldn't help the smile, but she did roll her eyes to keep him on his toes. "Alright. Seriously, though, you were amazing. Would you consider doing shoots in other cities once a month? I feel like you have a gift that should be shared."

"It can be kind of a hassle to take all my equipment, and then rent more equipment. Would it be worth it for a company or magazine to pay for that? I don't know. I also think the less work I do, the less in demand I'll be. I know Kaya wants me coming to New York four times a year to do shoots for Z-Win, and that's fun because it's with friends. Beyond that, I don't feel particularly compelled."

"That's fair," she said.

"The reason I really enjoyed our shoot today was because all the women had such healthy looking bodies, and the clothes followed all of your curves. I'm sick to death of the fashion world's obsession with skinny bodies. It isn't attractive. I'd be expected to work with that if I do shoots for magazines or other companies. So being forced into that box when I could be helping out independent designers in Sleepy Sands using our beautiful local women as models, it doesn't seem as fulfilling."

"Every time I think you're the perfect guy, you go and say something that much more perfect."

He grinned. "Good to know. I'm thinking I may open myself up to individual clients who want fashion shots done. There are plenty of people in Sleepy Sands doing regular photography, and apparently one guy doing pinup and boudoir shots, but no one who does avant-garde, fashion style work. I think a lot of people would enjoy having photos of themselves like that."

"That sounds really cool, and it would bring people to Sleepy Sands to pose for you."

That seemed to surprise Rafael. "I just thought it would be a local thing, but I guess if I got a reputation for it, word would spread."

"Would you be interested in doing that full-time some day?"

"I don't know. I'm really excited about Jasper North. I do think I won't need to work forty hours a week after the first year. Adam, Sarah and I talked about that on Thursday. I told them I wanted to have children soon, and they said they'd pay the salary we agreed on regardless of how many hours I work, and as co-owner I'll get a percentage of profits. We probably won't get much profit until the university opens, but we're pretty sure we can keep the business going until then."

"There's definitely a market for it. There have been a few nightclubs that opened and closed in Traverse City, but they weren't owned by dance royalty like Adam and Sarah. Plus, we get so many tourists over the summer that I'm sure you would make up for the months that might not be as busy."

"Right. Adam talked to Jonni to get an idea of how the local versus tourist thing works out and she said summer is her strongest season, but with locals coming often she makes good money. Between profit sharing with the workers and paying more to bands than other clubs, her take home is less than it could be, but she said she's comfortable. With us as competition next year she wants to win over more touring acts. If people play Detroit, it isn't that hard for them to drive up here for the next night and perform."

Tasha nodded. "And we'd certainly love to see more acts."

"Definitely. I think there's room for us, Jonni, and Jenny's coffee shop offering evening entertainment."

"Not to mention the community theater, the dance troupes, the orchestra and swing band, and all the high school's activities."

Raf grinned. "We'll never be bored, that's for sure. The only trick will be finding babysitters."

She grinned back. "That's what grandparents are for, since by then your parents and my mom and Lee will be living in town."

"I can't wait. I miss my family so much. It would be a little pricey, but how do you feel about flying them up for the wedding if we have it before April?"

"I definitely want that."

"Thanks," he said happily.

Their food came, so they took a conversation break to stuff themselves with curry. Tasha decided modeling took a lot of energy, but she'd had a great time working with Rafael. She could see a future with them posing for each other, and that felt deeply romantic. The future looked damn good in general. Raf, babies, great jobs, and artistic fulfillment.

Why, then, was part of her waiting for the other shoe to drop? Just because good things happened, it didn't mean they had something bad on the way. Yet some part of her warned that heartbreak would come. She sipped her Thai tea, looked at Rafael, and hoped whatever life had in store for them, it wouldn't break them up.

The week flew by, and when they reached Sunday, Tasha felt totally ready for their adventure.

Rafael returned to the bedroom after hitting the bathroom. "I'm getting up early, so this better be a good surprise."

"It's a great surprise."

"Does it start with morning sex?"

"I hadn't factored that in, but I feel like we have time to make it happen."

Suddenly Raf hovered above her, kissing her like the world might end, and what came after felt even better. Damn good way to start the morning. They headed out to her car after they'd had orgasms and breakfast, and Rafael asked again where they were going.

"You'll see. It's about two hours to get there."

"I can do a road trip," he said.

Tasha asked him what else he wanted to do before summer ended now that they'd reached August, and they figured out plans for upcoming Sundays. When she pulled into the turn off for Silver Lake State Park, she glanced over to Rafael and saw his mouth open.

"Adam told me about this place," he said excitedly.

"When you asked whether it was possible to take all terrain vehicles on the dunes, I realized I better take you somewhere we could."

"This is awesome!"

They headed to the vehicle rental place where Tasha had a reservation and before long were tooling around the dunes, kicking up sand, and bouncing over hills. Rafael seemed to be having the time of his life, whooping with joy. Tasha let him drive the entire time since she'd driven several times over the years. She guided him along some of her favorite paths, and he followed her instructions with glee.

They stayed out for two hours, which gave them enough time to have a great ride without getting too tired and beat up. When they returned the vehicle Rafael had a grin on his face that didn't go away. She took him to a local lunch spot, but told him not to order anything too heavy since they had dinner reservations.

"At By the Lake?" he asked.

"At Le Sable."

His eyes lit up. "I've been wanting to try their food. This is the perfect surprise day. You're the best girlfriend ever."

"I'm glad I found something you enjoyed. Up next we're going on another little adventure."

"Can't wait."

She drove him to the Big Sable Point Lighthouse, which opened in 1867 and offered a breathtaking view from the top. He seemed to really love it and took lots of pictures above and below. On the way home they stopped at a couple shops Tasha thought Rafael might enjoy. Judging by his purchases, he did.

Once they arrived at the house Raf seemed completely and totally relaxed.

"Do we have time for the Cum and Pussy Diet serving number two?" he asked slyly.

Tasha laughed. "We can do a quickie in the shower, but then we have dinner reservations."

He sighed dramatically. "I guess I have to live with that."

"If it makes you feel better, I have absolutely nothing scheduled after dinner."

"Now that sounds like the best part of the day."

Two orgasms later they arrived at Le Sable and walked through the busy to-go area into the quieter, cozier restaurant.

"This is really nice," he said.

"It is, and the food is amazing."

Starting with the bread and soft cheese spreads which whetted the appetite, they moved on to a divine soup, then sampled a fresh and crunchy shared salad, nibbled on stuffed mushrooms, and ended up both moaning over the scallop entrée. Tasha felt like her mouth had died and gone to heaven. Raf seemed equally enchanted.

"Best scallops I've ever had. Hands down," he said.

"Be sure to tell Kate that when she comes out. She always tries to visit people coming for their first time."

The head chef and owner came out as they luxuriated in their post-dinner haze before dessert. A lovely brunette a few years older than Tasha, Kate left Sleepy Sands to train in France, then spent a few years as a sous chef in Chicago before opening up her dream restaurant in Sleepy Sands.

"This food is amazing," Rafael said to her. "I've been all over the world and eaten at some of the best rated restaurants there are, and let me tell you, this meal blows them all out of the water. Everything was perfect. You have a gift."

"Thank you so much," Kate said. "That really means a lot. I've heard about you, but I rarely go to the pub because I'm so busy with the restaurant. How are you finding Sleepy Sands?"

Raf smiled. "It's the best. The absolute best. I'm truly home now."

"Glad to hear it. Tomeka will be over to get your dessert orders."

When Kate left Rafael stared after her.

"See something you like?" Tasha asked archly.

He turned to her. "She reminds me of someone, and I can't figure out who."

"Fair. She's a really lovely person."

"I've been here two months, and I've never seen her before."

"She doesn't shop or hang out much. Word is she's a bit of a workaholic."

"To be a head chef and a business owner is a lot, so I can imagine she's very busy. Ahh, here comes Tomeka. I sense an amazing dessert in my future."

Dessert tasted every bit as good as the earlier foods. After eating their complimentary pieces of fudge, they both sat back in their chairs and sighed.

"We have to walk after this?" Raf asked.

"I think we should leave at some point."

"You've really outdone yourself, Tashinha. The perfect meal after the perfect day. We are definitely going to spend too much money at both Silver Lake and Le Sable over the coming years."

Tasha laughed. "Good to know."

"I can't believe Adam is waiting to eat this food. He must love Sarah and Josh an awful lot."

"Will they be coming up for the holidays?"  
Rafael looked disappointed. "No. Josh's girlfriend doesn't have any interest, so Adam will go down to Detroit for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sarah should be coming up for a few days in the fall. She wants to enjoy the color change. We'll meet Josh when we go down there in October."

"That's right. I'm excited about that trip."

"It won't be as perfect as today, but I think we'll have a lot of fun." He winked at her.

"If we want today to be perfect, we better go home and make it that way."

Judging by the wolfish smile on Rafael's face, they would be making some damn good memories of this day. If she got really, really lucky, she would get more days like this in her future. She'd be wishing on the first star she saw that nothing happened to tear Raf and her apart. Losing him would be so much worse than her breakup with Geoffrey. Not having Raf would mean not having a piece of her soul.

### Chapter 18: Rafael

Rafael waited impatiently for his day off Wednesday, and as soon as it came he headed over to Sands Gallery to see what he could buy for Tasha to thank her for the perfect day Sunday. He wanted to see if he could find a necklace since she loved hers. Get a slightly different length chain she could wear both. He'd measured her necklace while she showered that morning.

The gallery had a fair selection of jewelry, some of which had been made by the guy who used to be the bartender at the pub on Mondays and Tuesdays. Raf felt most drawn to a pendant of Petoskey stone shaped like Michigan (both peninsulas), lined with silver, and framed by a silver circle. The silver brought to mind Silver Lake, and the Michigan shape showed their equal love for where they lived. Like most Michiganders, Tasha loved Petoskey stones. For Sunday, she'd suggested they go searching for the stones at a rocky beach she loved in Northport.

After buying the necklace, he headed to McLaren's for wrapping paper and a bow. He always felt like presents were more fun when one could rip into fancy layers to uncover the surprise below. He hoped Tasha would like the necklace as much as he liked the day trip.

When she got home he walked into her office with the present behind his back.

"I have something for you," he said.

She grinned. "Really?"

He handed her the box, and she made her little 'o' mouth.

"It's so pretty, I don't want to tear open the wrapping," she said.

"Then you wouldn't be able to see what's inside. And this is the first of many presents. You'll see lots of wrapping paper coming from me."

"I... so appreciate you. You're the best." Tasha looked a little choked up.

Raf wondered what she hadn't said after 'I.' It seemed like she wanted to make a different pronouncement. Was she about to tell him she loved him? That seemed pretty major. He didn't know how he felt about that. While his kneejerk reaction left him thinking he felt unready to say it back, he took a minute to really examine his feelings. He loved so many things about Tasha. Did that mean he was in love with her, though?

"Are you okay?" Tasha asked hesitantly. "You kind of zoned out there."

He focused on her. "I was just thinking, sorry. I'm glad you're happy about getting a present. Now open it!"

Instead of tearing, she gently removed the paper and bow, then popped open the box inside. The 'o' mouth made another appearance. He wondered if she had any idea how cute that expression was.

"I love it!" Tasha lifted it out of the box and held it. "It's so pretty."

"I thought the silver would remind you of going to Silver Lake, and the Michigan part will always be a testament to the place we met and decided to live our lives together."

She beamed. "That's perfect. Let me put it on." She clicked the piece into place, and it hung a little lower than the palette necklace. Although she could easily wear both, she reached up and took the other necklace off.

"You don't want to wear them together?" he asked.

"I love this necklace, but I've worn it since my parents gave it to me in high school. I can finally retire it now that I have a new necklace gifted to me. I always hoped Geoffrey the prit would buy me something I could replace the palette with, but he never did. You've known me two months, and you knew the perfect gift for me. Thank you. Truly."

Raf leaned in and kissed her, deciding not to remind her prit wasn't a word. Maybe it should be a word. "I'm just glad I could make you happy, xuxu."

"I feel like I need a pet name for you."

"Well, my parents call me Rafinho, so that would be a little weird. Some of my friends called their boyfriends gatinho. Like when I call you gata. It's a way of saying someone is hot and sexy, but also that you care about them a lot."

"Gatinho," she repeated. "I like it. My sexy tomcat boyfriend."

He lifted an eyebrow. "Doesn't tomcat mean someone who sleeps around?"

"Good point. Maybe I could mean it as a sarcastic thing, that you look like a tomcat, but act like a pet?"

"A pet?" asked Raf after laughing. "I don't think I like being called a pet any more than I like being called a tomcat."

"Okay, I'm digging myself into a hole here, so I'm going to shut up about cats."

Damn, he loved this woman. That took him aback. Somehow in the past few minutes his kneejerk reaction to the 'l' word had changed. Maybe he just needed to question his feelings, and now he'd accepted them.

"Say whatever you want, Tashinha. I love you no matter what."

Her face lit up. "You love me? Really? Because I do, too. Love you, I mean. I love you."

His left hand cradled her chin, and he moved in for a kiss that seemed to never end. When he pulled away he felt warmth throughout his entire body.

"I'm so happy right now," said Raf.

"Me, too."

"And I would suggest we celebrate, but right now I'm more hungry for food than the Cum and Pussy Diet."

"I am so one hundred percent with you. Shall we cook or go out?"

He smiled. "Go out. I'm craving Plantain Place."

"Sounds delicious."

Upon arriving at the restaurant Trinika Baptiste seated them. While Jocasta and their mother alternated cooking duties, Trinika had no interest in being a chef. She waited tables because she hadn't figured out what her day job should be while she tried to make it as a writer. At twenty-four, Raf figured she had plenty of time. She came to the pub Monday afternoons and drank at the bar while writing her novels. Most of her writing happened at home sober, but she said she liked having a weekly Faulkner day. Usually she took a break to chat with Rafael, so he'd gotten to know her pretty well.

"What can I get you to drink?" Trinika asked them.

"I'll have a Port Royal Cannonball," said Tasha automatically.

"What's that?" Raf asked.

"Spiced rum, coconut water, pineapple juice, and a splash of lime juice," Trinika said.

Tasha nodded. "And it's amazing."

"Or you might like the Jaimaican Me Crazy," Trinika said. "It's got spiced rum with cinnamon schnapps, chocolate liqueur, and vanilla soy milk."

He snorted. "You have some interesting drink names, but I'll try that."

Trinika shrugged. "My parents have a truly bizarre sense of humor."

"Let me guess. You're adopted," he teased.

She barked out a laugh. "There was a time I wanted to be, but I think we all go through that phase. Nowadays I'll keep 'em, parents and siblings."

"I remember that phase," Tasha said. "Everything my parents did was sooo embarrassing. I could not believe how uncool they were."

Rafael nodded. "When I was about twelve, I thought it would be awful if my friends met my parents. I never wanted anyone at the house."

"Totally." Tasha nodded. "Because deep down you knew your friends had cool parents, and you were the only one who suffered."

Trinika laughed again. "All my friends thought my parents were the cool parents because they had food."

"You can always win a kid's heart with food," Rafael said. "I don't think we ever outgrow that."

"Decidedly not," said Tasha.

"Speaking of food, what do you want for your meal?" Trinika asked.

After they'd ordered Trinika headed to the kitchen.

Rafael leaned back in his seat and looked at his beautiful woman. Tasha wore her usual funky take on preppy clothes, this time a pale pink v-neck tee over a pair of plaid golf shorts. Her hair had been pulled back and twisted around so the ends fanned out in a little spray peeking over her head. With minimal makeup, she looked young, fresh, and ready to be plucked. If they didn't have plans to go wine tasting after dinner he'd be tempted to have unnecessary amounts of sex all night long.

"It makes sense you'd do well with what to give me," Tasha said. "We talk so much we really know each other. I feel like with past relationships I never pressed to go deeper with men, because I had this idea that men didn't want to talk, and those guys fit that stereotype. But with you, you're very open and conversational."

"Yeah. I only shut up when I'm posing. Scout teases me that the only way to get me to stop speaking is to pull out a camera."

She laughed. "Well, I like that you're chatty. With a foundation of good communication and trust, our relationship will always thrive and grow. Those are the two most important ingredients."

He nodded. "So true. We're building something strong and lasting."

"Exactly." She touched the necklace, and then zipped the pendant down the chain like she had with her old one. "I can still play with this one, so it's all good."

"Is it a nervous habit?"

"Yeah. But on the self-destruction scale it's pretty light, so I don't try hard to stop it."

"Fair," Raf said. "I used to smoke as a teenager, and the first three years of my twenties. I got so used to wanting something in my fingers. Breaking that habit was really hard. I had several relapses, but finally after eight months, I stopped completely."

"I smoked pot when I was younger, but never tobacco. My dad's father died of lung cancer at a fairly young age, so I always knew the price."

"I've never bought marijuana in places it's illegal. If I'm in Amsterdam or somewhere like that, it's no big deal. And if someone else bought it and wants to share, I'll indulge. I just can't actively break the law, you know? The other models used to joke that I must have been a choir boy growing up."

"Were you a choir boy?"

He laughed. "No. And I misbehaved a lot, just didn't do illegal things."

"I feel like I was kind of a goody two shoes compared to Cara, but Heather was also a good girl, so I didn't feel tempted to change. It would always be like, 'what is Cara grounded for this week?' I didn't want that to be me."

"So you've been friends since you were young?"

Tasha nodded. "Our parents had play dates when we were toddlers, and we've been hanging out ever since. The three of us even went to the same college. I've always had other friends, too, but the three of us spend most of our social time together."

"They're great ladies. I really like Mikey and Adam, too. Obviously Adam and I are closer because we spend more time together. Sometimes I feel like my bromance with Adam is so strong that I'm cheating on Scout."

She laughed. "I read something about how many men find their bromances more fulfilling than their romances."

"Really? Then you are dating the wrong woman, dude. Yeah, guy friends are great, but it's not like being with the woman you love."

"I feel like they can be equal. I care about Heather and Cara in different ways from how I care about you, but the level of sentiment is about the same."

Raf thought about how he felt about Scout. "Yeah, I can see that. I would agree with that when it comes to Scout. I think it'll take a few more months before Adam and I are that close. And probably even longer with Mikey."

"Yeah. Mikey likes hanging out with us, but his best friend is Todd Voight. Have you met him? He's marrying Henrik's cousin, Josey."

"I haven't met either of them."

"Interesting. Although I guess Todd doesn't drink much because he's so invested in his body. He's a competitive weightlifter. He works at a gym in Traverse City."

"I wonder if he'll be interested in working in Adam and Sarah's gym when they open it," mused Rafael.

"Probably. Have you talked to the two of them about the gym?"

"No, I have no real interest in it. In a lot of ways they aren't that interested in it, either. They want the gym because it's a steady source of income, but the club is their baby. Our baby. I'm so excited about Jasper North."

"And I'm so excited about making beverages that can be sold there."

He asked her about the latest happenings at work, and she filled him in over the rest of dinner. As they finished up Raf got a text from Adam, so Tasha and Raf headed straight to Shaded Beauty Cellars to do their next tasting. It took half an hour to get there, but Raf fell in love with the winery on sight. Everything there was beautiful – the buildings, the landscape. They headed in and found Adam and Heather by the door.

"Cara and Mikey coming?" Raf asked.

"On their way," said Adam. "Apparently Shaded Beauty isn't close enough to go all the time like Cherry Heaven is."

Heather nodded. "Shaded Beauty requires actual effort to go to. Wait, Tasha, is that a new necklace?"

Tasha beamed. "Rafael gave it to me today."

"It's so pretty!" said Heather.

"It's really neat," Adam said.

"Thanks," said Tasha. "I love it."

"You love what?" Cara came walking into their circle with Mikey behind her.

"My new necklace that Raf gave me." Tasha pointed to it.

"Aww, that's awesome," Cara said. "Surprise presents are the best. Especially when they're engagement rings." She winked at Mikey, who chuckled.

"Glad you liked that one, tricks," he said.

Raf smiled. "Actually, my gift was a response to Tasha surprising me with the best daycation of all time – going to Silver Lake State Park to drive the dunes, stopping at a lighthouse, and ending at Le Sable."

They all made appreciative noises.

"Nailed it," Mikey told Tasha.

"I'm so jealous you went to Le Sable," Adam said. "But I promised Sarah and Josh we would go together."

"It's a shame Josh's girlfriend is so negative about him coming up here," Heather said.

Adam shrugged. "She's his princess."

Princess Peabrain to those who didn't love her. Rafael chuckled just thinking about that. He hoped like hell his sister ended up with a good guy. Preferably a Sleeper.

"What are you snickering about?" Adam asked Raf.

"Princess Peabrain." He turned to the others. "That's what Sarah calls Josh's girlfriend."

Cara laughed. "I don't know either Sarah or Josh and yet I somehow instinctively know she is one hundred percent correct."

"She's not wrong," Adam said, "but don't encourage her. If Josh thinks this girl is the one, we have to live with her, and I don't want it getting back to her that Sarah and I said nasty things."

"So much drama," Tasha teased.

Heather shook her head. "I haven't known Adam long, but he is not in any way drama. So trust me, this girl is the only high maintenance thing in his life."

Adam turned to Heather. "I don't know, Dub and Psy can be high maintenance sometimes."

"That's what kittens do," she said. "And they're wildly entertaining, so they make up for any destruction they cause."

"Weren't we supposed to have a pet party at your house?" Mikey asked Adam.

"With our work schedules, I haven't figured out a time all of us can make it," he said. "Especially now that we're doing tastings Wednesdays."

"Speaking of tastings, let's get some wine in our glasses before we chat more," Raf said.

They sorted out who would try which wine and started sipping. Raf couldn't help staring at Tasha with her 'women who golf' top and shorts, contrasted with the Hello Kitty Converse low-tops on her feet.

"Tashinha, can you cradle that glass with your hand and put your other hand in your pocket?" he asked.

An amused look crossed her face. "Sure."

She got into the pose, and Raf took out his phone for a few pics from different angles.

"That is adorable," Cara said, watching them.

"It's his new addiction," Tasha joked.

Mikey made a fake dreamy face. "Hashtag couple goals."

The others laughed.

"I get it," Adam said. "I'm writing a song for Heather."

"So now I have to figure out how to get an ice sculpture in August so I can carve something up for him," she said.

"This is why I show my love with food," said Mikey. "Easy all year round."

Cara gave him a look. "But not easy when I have to work out in the basement every day to make up for it."

"Soon you'll have a gym you can go to and gossip while you hit the treadmill," Mikey said.

"We were talking about the gym earlier," Tasha said. "How is that coming, Adam?"

"Very smoothly," he said. "The architects are finalizing the plans, and then they'll hand those off to Henrik's team. The club plans will take a few more weeks."

"I think I'd rather get my exercise dancing at the club than working out at the gym," said Tasha.

"I like that plan," Heather said.

Cara shook her head. "Marrying a chef, remember? I can't dance enough to burn those meals."

"We could burn the calories in other ways," Mikey said, smirking.

"Classy, babe," she said.

Rafael leaned down and whispered into Tasha's ear, "I think we should burn some calories when we get home."

Tasha blushed, but her smile said everything.

After another hour of sampling, the group bought bottles and headed home. Between the drink at Plantain Place and the wine, Tasha had gotten soused enough that she spent the drive home singing along to the music in her slightly nonsensical way. Raf loved that, but he worried Tasha had gotten too bombed to be able to have sex when they got home.

She stopped singing when the car turned off, though. With a sheepish grin she said, "Sorry for assaulting your ears. I just really felt like singing."

"Your voice is very pretty. It's just always amusing to hear what random lyrics you sing because you don't know or don't remember the real ones."

"Glad I amuse you, gatinho. I like your voice, too. When you sang to me while we danced at the bar."

He smiled back at her. "I'll sing to you any time. Let's go see how the furballs are doing after being abandoned for a few hours."

Shelby greeted them at the door. The cats did not make an appearance. Tasha and he calmed Shelbs down and let her outside for a bit, then the trio headed upstairs to find Jonathan Swiftkitty and Ileana on the bed.

"Hey, kiddos, we're going to be using that," Tasha said. "Unless your papa and I get super creative about how we have sex."

"You're not too tipsy?" he asked.

"I didn't feel up to driving, but I can definitely handle the mechanics of fucking."

Rafael laughed. "Well, there's not a lot of room to lay down, but if you're against the edge and I'm standing we're good. So do you want to be on your back or bending over?"

"Mmm, equally good choices. But I'm feeling a little naughty, and bending over seems more wild."

Damn, he loved this woman. They stripped each other's clothes off quickly, throwing them around the room and using their hands to explore each other's bodies. She grabbed his neck and pulled him down for an aggressive kiss. He filled his hands with her breasts, then broke the kiss to use his mouth on her nipples. With a gentle nip, he had her moaning. Before he could do the other breast, she'd turned and cushioned her upper body on the bed, leaving her ass high and her legs spread.

Fuck. That image. He pumped his cock once, needing the sensation so he could take the time to roll on a condom. Once he'd gloved up he got behind her and squeezed her luscious ass once, rubbing his dick against her cleft.

"Love your buceta, xuxu. Love all of you."

"I love your dick, but I really want it in me."

He snickered. "I can tell by how wet you are."

He lined up his cock and her cona, then pushed in slowly and stayed for a few seconds once he'd filled her completely. Leaning down, he kissed her neck, then nibbled it. Her back arched, and he pulled back and got moving. The tightness of her felt like heaven, and while he'd enjoyed every pussy he'd been in before, something about being with Tasha felt ten times better. Maybe the emotions made it better, maybe she somehow had the pussy meant to sheath his dick.

"So tight, Tashinha. I never want another pussy, because no one else could ever be this good."

"You want tight, gatinho?" She squeezed her muscles around him and he nearly came right there. While she didn't always treat him to vaginal squeezing, she did it enough to make him crave it. Since she always kept the actions spontaneous the surprise made the sensation even nicer. He pushed in a little more emphatically in the next thrust, and she husked, "Yes. Harder."

He could do harder. Pumping more forcefully, he kept up a steady rhythm, looping one hand around her hip and playing with her clit. Judging by the moans he had her building toward the peak. At least he hoped so, because his own orgasm would be soon at this rate. She kept doing the squeezing in irregular intervals, and every time he gasped. Was it possible to die from sexual excitement? If anyone would lead him to the grave with a good fuck, it would be his Tashinha.

"You close, xuxu?" Raf asked. "I'm so ready. It's so good."

"A little more."

With his left hand he traced her spine from neck to tailbone, then pressed her into the bed so she lay on her breasts instead of on her elbows. The new angle made her cry out. He felt his balls tightening and knew he had to bring her to the top. Pushing all the way in, he pinched her clit and circled his hips.

"Fucksauce," she shouted, and the act of her muscles moving through her orgasm triggered his. He felt the expulsion like a pure release of energy, barely able to hold himself above her.

It took him a second to realize he'd also cried out, but he'd said "tucupi." Which made no sense, other than she'd mentioned sauce and he'd responded with his favorite. He felt a little embarrassed.

"What does tucupi mean?" Tasha asked.

"Umm, it's a sauce. You called out 'fucksauce' and I guess word association brought up that one. What can I say? Sex brain is weird."

She started shaking from silent laughter, and it jarred his dick. He pulled out and disposed of the condom.

"I think you should make tucupi sauce and spread it on my body so you can lick it off," she teased.

"Don't make offers you don't want to follow through on, xuxu."

"I'll follow through. The day before the sheets go in the wash, maybe."

Rafael laughed. "Always thinking. That's what I love about you."

Tasha stood up and kissed him. "You know what I love most about you?"

"Tell me."

"That you never think I'm weird, even when I call out strange things while orgasming."

"You're not weird, xuxu, you're what I base normal on."

"That's so sweet. Love you, gatinho."

"Love you, saucy wench."

What they had together felt so inherent. He knew life would continue throwing curveballs their way, because shit happened, but he couldn't imagine anything that would sunder their connection. She was his soulmate, and she always would be.

### Chapter 19: Tasha

When Rafael offered to pose Saturday for her painting, Tasha eagerly took him up on it. They spent a few hours in the studio with her drooling before heading down to make early dinner. After he left for work she compiled her grocery list. The kitchen list didn't take long, but she couldn't remember if she needed any toiletries. Heading up to her bathroom, she checked on the usual products. In the bottom drawer she found only a few pads left. Due to her heavy periods, she'd given up on tampons as a teen. She definitely needed to buy more pads before her next period.

Which would be coming up soon. Thinking back to July, she recalled starting her period the day after they got the animals. Jonathan Swiftkitty had a thing about joining her in the bathroom, and he'd tried sticking his head into her pajama pants to smell her underwear. It had been totally gross, but also totally hilarious. What day did they go to the adoption fair? Tasha checked her tablet's calendar app. July 10th, so her period started the 11th. That would have it due to start at the beginning of this week, and now it was Saturday the 13th of August with no period.

The hairs on the back of her neck lifted. She couldn't be pregnant, could she? They'd used condoms every time. Tasha didn't do birth control pills because they did unhealthy things to her already shitty periods, and IUD's could cause issues. She'd used condoms since she started having sex. In all that time she'd never had a pregnancy scare. Shit. Should she get a pregnancy test? She could just be late, but now that the idea of pregnancy had entered into her mind, she found herself unable to shake the paranoid wonderings.

If she went to a store in Sleepy Sands to get the test someone would see her, and gossip would spread. Sleepers didn't do ugly rumors, but they had healthy senses of curiosity, and they enjoyed the latest news about their neighbors. The best plan would be to go to Traverse City.

The entire drive there Tasha felt dread pooling in her belly. Raf and she had just started dating, had just said they loved each other. It was way too soon for them to add a baby into the mix. By the time she got to the closest pharmacy and hopped out, she wanted to cry. Grabbing two tests and heading to the line, she looked around to make sure she didn't see anyone she knew. All clear, so she paid for her items and dashed back to the car, driving a little faster than usual to get home. Her phone buzzed in her pocket from someone trying to call, but she ignored it. She would deal with humans later.

Back home in the bathroom she had to read the instructions for the first test twice before her nervous brain could figure out what to do. She checked out the other test and got both ready to go. After peeing on sticks (couldn't there be a more sanitary way of determining pregnancy?) she put them down, giving herself a minute to close her eyes and get her breathing back to normal. When she felt calmer, she opened her eyes and looked at the first stick.

Fuck. This test said pregnant. She felt like her hands were moving super slowly as she picked up the second test.

And looked right into another pregnant sign. Shit shit shit shit. Yeah, she wanted a baby, but right now? The timing couldn't be worse. Rafael had only just made the decision to have children. She didn't think he was emotionally prepared to have one in nine months. Not to mention that their relationship hardly felt secure at this point. Who knew if they would get sick of each other in a few months? The plan had been to wait a year before getting pregnant.

Plans apparently didn't mean much to the Fates. They'd thrown her one hell of a curveball, and she had to get her head on right and deal with it. First off, she needed to tell Rafael. She worried that the tension of having a child forced on them before they were ready would ruin their relationship. If he felt too stressed he would ultimately break up with her. But she had to tell him straight away, or she'd be risking trust issues. The pressure in her stomach felt like an actual stone.

In order to shut up her destructive thinking, she cleaned up in the bathroom and made sure the tests were in their boxes, then put the boxes in the drug store plastic bag, which she then placed into a black trash bag that she threw in the garage for garbage day. Raf wouldn't see the tests, so if she needed to wait until Sunday morning to tell him, she could.

Tasha checked her phone and found that Heather had called. Their trio meant to go out after dinner. After calling voice mail she discovered Heather had eaten early and wanted to hang out now if Tasha did. Well, Tasha didn't. She couldn't fathom going out right now and pretending to have fun. She felt so nervous about telling Rafael she worried about an ulcer forming. While it may seem like sharing her news with Cara and Heather would be a way of unloading that stress, she knew they'd want to talk the subject to death. She wasn't ready for that. Better to avoid them for now.

Although texting them to say she couldn't make it out might be a tad cowardly, she had a big 'don't care' sign flashing in her brain. She punched out the words and pressed send. A few minutes later she'd gotten responses hoping her headache would go away and that she'd feel better. The headache didn't exist, but she definitely needed the well wishes. Desperate to calm herself, she decided to curl up with a comforting book. Grabbing her tablet, she pulled up Sorcery and Cecilia by Patricia Wrede and Caroline Stevermer. Regency shenanigans plus magic sounded like just the thing to get her brain off the crazy train.

She'd gotten well into the trilogy by the time her exhaustion took over. At least she felt a little more relaxed. Still not ready to tell Rafael they were having a surprise baby, but well enough to get to sleep.

When she next became conscious Rafael had crawled into bed beside her.

"Hey," he said in a low voice. "Did you have fun with the girls?"

"I didn't go out," she said, rubbing her eyes.

"Why not?"

"I didn't feel well."

"Do you feel better now?" asked Raf.

Not much. "A little."

"Poor Tashinha." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Would sex make you feel better or worse?"

"Worse," she said firmly.

"Then we won't do it. Turn on your side so we can cuddle at least."

"I don't really feel like touching right now." She couldn't be close to him until she could tell him the news, and that news might make touching impossible.

"Are you sick? Do you need anything?"

She balled her hands into fists. "I'm not sick. I'm just really tired, and I want to go back to sleep."

"Okay. Night," he said in a subdued tone.

"Night."

As usual, Tasha woke before Raf, and while he woke a little when she got up, he immediately went back to sleep. She didn't have the energy to paint, so she read in the living room until he came downstairs.

"Morning, xuxu. Are you feeling better?" he asked.

"Mostly." She could hear how flat she sounded.

Raf stopped walking and stared at her. "Did I do something wrong, Tasha? Are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm just... How about if we make brunch? I'm hungry."

"Okay." He looked a bit hesitant.

Making food probably wasn't the greatest plan with the way Tasha's stomach had stayed torn up and aching. She hoped maybe eating something more substantial than yogurt might calm it down. Rafael seemed a little careful as they cooked, like he didn't want to say or do anything that would make her unhappy. She needed to just tell him. Her nerves came back in full force. Once breakfast was ready they sat down at the table. Raf shot her a concerned glance.

"I'm really worried about you," he said. "Something has to be up. Please tell me what it is."

Tasha stopped playing with her food and looked him in the eyes. "Last night I found out I'm pregnant. I know this isn't what we were expecting, and I know it puts a lot of pressure on us and our relationship. But I want the baby, and I hope it's something you'll grow to be happy about."

He looked taken aback for a moment, and then his face lit up. "I'm happy now. I'm having a baby with you. Você é o mundo para mim. It doesn't matter that we're not prepared. We'll figure it out. Together."

Relief washed over her. He wanted this. She didn't have to worry about him dumping her. Now she just had to be terrified that she was having a baby in nine months and felt completely unprepared.

"What did you say in Portuguese?" she asked. If he said, 'we're having a baby,' she should memorize that to say to his parents on the phone.

"Oh, I didn't realize I lapsed. I said 'you are my world.'"

Label her gravestone 'Dead because my boyfriend's romantic.'

"Same," she said breathily.

He smiled like she had made his day. "Te amo, xuxu. I love you."

"I can feel your love, gatinho. I hope you can feel my love for you."

"So much. Can we get married as soon as possible? Whenever we can find decent priced tickets for my family? That should be about two months."

Two months? A bit of panic welled up in her mind, and then she calmed it. Rafael had nothing in common with Geoffrey other than they both looked hot (though Rafael happened to be ten times hotter). She trusted Raf. She loved Raf more than she'd ever loved Geoffrey. Raf was the father of her child. Of course she wanted to marry him, and if that happened sooner rather than later, she needed to not freak out about it.

Moving her hand to grasp his, she smiled. "Two months sounds great. You check for ticket prices and tell me which weekend our wedding will be."

"Thank you, Tashinha. That means so much to me. Can we call our parents after breakfast and tell them?"

"That sounds good. But can we wait to tell our friends? I'm just not ready for everyone to know and discuss it yet. And I've had friends who announced and then miscarried. That made me really paranoid."

"That makes sense. I'm excited and I want to tell everyone, but you're right, it's better to hold off."

"Thanks."

Raf slapped his hand on the table, and Tasha jerked back.

"Sorry, xuxu, but I just figured out what to do about my mother's work permit. She can be our nanny."

"Yes! That's perfect. I'd like to see if I can work from home one day a week, but I also want to be able to go out some evenings, so we could definitely offer your mom full-time work."

"Everything is coming together for us." He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. "I knew in my heart that moving would be the right choice, and look at what happened. I found you, and we're going to have a family, and my parents and sister will be here. I almost feel like thanking Genevieve for cheating on me."

Tasha laughed. "I almost feel like thanking Geoffrey for doing the same."

"It's weird that our significant others cheating ended up being the best thing in our lives."

"Their loss, our gain. Well, let's eat so we can make some calls."

Although they ate their food quickly, they kept looking into each other's eyes and smiling. Tasha had never felt so connected to another person before. It felt like they were perfectly in sync, two hearts with one goal.

They decided to start with Raf's family, so they called and greeted everyone.

"We have news," Raf said. "And we're going to talk about it in English so Tasha can understand."

The three of them chorused acknowledgment.

He took a deep breath. "Tasha is pregnant."

Despite their acknowledgement, all three of them exclaimed phrases in Portuguese.

"Sorry, in English," Beatriz said. "I'm so happy for you both. And I will love being a grandmother."

"We were hoping we could hire you as our nanny," Tasha said. "If we do it through the employment agency we can get your work permit taken care of and make sure you have access to benefits like health insurance."

"Yes! I want to see our little one every day," said Beatriz.

"Now I don't have to worry about finding you a job with someone else," Rafael said.

"I am so relieved," Beatriz said emotionally.

"This is more then we could have hoped for," Fernando said. "I am so happy for you, Rafinho. To be able to see our grandchild grow up..." He sounded a little choked up.

"I know, pai," Rafael said. "Life has not always been good to us, but it is now. What do you think, Gabs?"

She snorted. "I was waiting for the proud grandparents to get their congratulations in before a mere aunt does. I definitely look forward to spoiling your little one. Goodness only knows if I will ever have any of my own."

"If the right man can be found anywhere, it will be Sleepy Sands," he said.

"I admit I've been doing a lot of research about the locals' various artistic endeavors, and there seem to be a lot more attractive people than is normal for a small town," Gabriela said.

Tasha grinned. "We think it's something we put in the water."

"Well, it will be fun to date there, anyway," said Gabriela.

"I can think of lots of great guys to set you up with," Tasha said. "But it will depend on who's single in April."

"Maybe you could stab the girlfriends of the guys I really like," Gabriela said in a totally dry tone.

Tasha couldn't help cracking up. "I know you're going to be my sister-in-law, but I'm not going to jail for you."

"I'm hurt, Tashinha," said Gabriela. "I really thought you were going to put family above all else."

That just make Tasha laugh more. "How about I will do anything legal you require?"

"Um beijo, sister," Gabriela said. "That means kisses. You might want to start using it, because it's how we say goodbye."

"I don't think I want you kissing my future wife," Raf said with a grin. "She may decide she likes you better. You use abraço. That's hugs, Tasha."

She leaned over and kissed Rafael so he knew there would never be competition. "I'll stick with the Santos I have. No offense, sister."

A sigh came over the line from Gabriela. "I tried."

"Speaking of Tasha becoming my wife, we want to have the wedding as soon as we can buy tickets for the three of you to come here. I think for the most affordable options we'll have to wait about two months."

"You do not have to buy our tickets, Rafinho," said Beatriz. "We can afford that."

"Mãe, I want you to save your money for moving here and getting settled. I can afford this," Raf said.

"We will be very happy to be part of your wedding," Fernando said.

"Thank you, brother," Gabriela said. "I would love to see Sleepy Sands before we move there. I'll talk to my boss and find out how much time I can have off work in October."

"Definitely," said Rafael. "All of you do that. We can't do the first weekend of October because we're going to Detroit with friends, but the next four are all free for us."

"Halloween weekend our friends might be doing other stuff," Tasha pointed out.

He tilted his head in acknowledgment. "Okay, the middle three weekends of October are the best time."

"We will check," Beatriz said.

"Alright, we'll call again soon, but we need to tell Tasha's parents they'll have a grandchild soon. Um abraço, my family." Raf looked like he wished he could hug them through the phone.

His family chorused in their goodbyes with a few Portuguese phrases, and then the call ended. Tasha pulled out her cell and called her mother. After her mom answered and Tasha shared her news, her mother gasped.

"I'm going to be a grandmother!" she said triumphantly. "I'm so thrilled, sweetie. I know this is what you always wanted, and you're going to be an amazing mother."

Tasha felt her heart warm. She hoped she would be, but it was always good to get a vote of confidence, especially from someone who'd been such a good mother herself.

"Thanks, Mom. We're thrilled, too. We realized we can hire Rafael's mother as our nanny to make sure she has a work permit to be in the States."

"Oh, what a perfect idea. And since I'm moving back to Sleepy Sands I'll be just a few minutes away and can babysit plenty myself. Eeee! I feel like dancing."

Tasha laughed. "I feel like dancing, too."

"I'll take you out," Rafael said, eyes glowing.

"He's a keeper, Tash," her mom said. "I'm so happy you found each other."

"Well, I am keeping him. We're waiting to hear back from his family about what weekend in October is best to fly up, then we'll start planning our wedding."

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful. I want to pay for it." Her mom said the latter in a voice that brooked no opposition.

"Mom, you paid for a lot of my first wedding. I can't ask you to do that again."

"You're not asking me. I'm telling you. You're my only child, and if I want to spoil you, that's my prerogative. You'll have a lot of costs with a baby on the way, so let me ensure your wedding will be stress-free."

Rafael looked at Tasha and held up his hands to ask how she felt. With him already committed to investing in the club, and now spending at least three thousand dollars to fly his family up, he may not be able to contribute a lot to the wedding. Tasha had a decent savings account, but with the baby she'd be tapping into it over the next few years. Having her mom pay for the wedding would allow them to have something memorable rather than needing to pick the cheapest options.

"Okay, Mom," Tasha said. "But we don't need anything super fancy. Simple will be fine."

"Simple," her mom said scathingly. "This is Rafael's first wedding, honey, and this is your wedding that actually counts. So let's make it special and unique."

Tasha smiled. "That would be really great. We can talk plans soon, but I want to call Dad and tell him about the baby."

She and her mom said goodbye, and then she called her dad and told him her news. Her brother and sister were out with friends, so she didn't get to talk to them, but her dad seemed pretty excited.

"Maybe we should move to Sleepy Sands," he enthused. "That way I'll be closer to help out with the baby. The Sleepy Sands school is very competitive, and Dante and Mikayla can still see their friends on the weekends."

"Dad, don't make any rash decisions. Talk to Dante and Mikayla and find out if they'd be interested in moving. They probably don't want to go into new schools and have to make all new friends there. That's just silly. Half an hour isn't a big drive to come see us."

"You're right," he said more calmly. "I'll ask, but I doubt the kids would go for it. At least they're old enough they can stay at home if I want to come over and they don't want to."

Tasha nodded. "Exactly. Though I hope they do want to see their niece or nephew."

"I'm sure they'll want to," her dad said. "Did you want to call them right now or do you want me to tell them when they get home?"

"How about if you call me when they're home, and then I can tell them?" suggested Tasha.

She told her dad about the wedding, and he seemed excited. He didn't offer to pay for anything, which Tasha understood because he would be sending two kids to college soon. Still, it stung a little that he didn't make any offer. She tried not to be selfish or ungrateful, but every year she saw him giving Christmas gifts to his younger kids, and compared to what she got at that age, or even what he gave her now, she always got less. Tasha knew that her father loved her. He just seemed to love Dante and Mikayla more. Because he loved Michelle more? Who knew.

After she hung up with her dad, Rafael asked why she'd looked a little sad. She figured Raf ought to know who he was marrying, so she explained the history of her financial relationship with her father. She fully admitted to being irrationally jealous and bitter.

"I can understand you feeling shortchanged," Raf said. "I remember when Diego first got sick, I was still young, and I resented all the time my parents spent looking after him. It's hard not to take how our parents bestow attention personally. When we were at dinner I could tell he loved you very much, but it seemed like he wanted to spoil them more."

"Yes. I know money isn't love, but you see someone getting more of it, every single time, and you just have to wonder why you weren't good enough to get that, too."

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad your mother didn't have more children. Is that wrong? I like that she can focus one hundred percent of her energy on you. Because I love you and you deserve that."

Tasha went in for a kiss on the lips. "Te amo, as you would say. I have you to spoil me now, so it doesn't really matter what my father does."

"True. I don't want any competition in being the main man in your life. It's already bad enough I have to share you in nine months."

"Nine months. Shit. This is all moving so fast. The baby, the wedding. But even though it's scary, it feels right."

Raf smiled. "That's exactly how I felt the first day I came to Sleepy Sands and met you. Things have only gotten better for me."

"For me, too."

She kissed him a third time, and this one they both stuck with. When it naturally evolved into sex on the couch, she decided facing challenges felt a lot easier when you happened to be crazy in love with the hottest guy on the planet. Maybe they could handle this new complication. After all, they were stronger together.

### Chapter 20: Rafael

As they cuddled on the couch after the latest mind-blowing fuck and murmured affectionate phrases to each other, Tasha's phone buzzed. She expected a call from her dad, so Raf wasn't surprised when she got up and grabbed it. It turned out to be Cara asking for Tasha to come over and look at bridesmaid dresses. Tasha looked at Raf and spread her hands. He nodded. Time with friends would help her unwind, and he needed some alone time to get his head around becoming a father. When she headed up to take a shower, he put on his boxer briefs and laid out on the couch with his arms pillowing his head. Ileana came over and jumped up on his chest, settling down within seconds.

"Hey, baby," he cooed. "You're going to have a little brother or sister soon. A human one. Think you can handle that?"

She responded with a loud purr.

"That's my girl."

Parent. He hadn't thought he would be one since his teen years. It would take time to get his head around the reality of being a dad. Tasha had a little person growing inside of her, and he'd be loving that kid until the end of his days. The commitment felt major, yet somehow he knew he'd never regret it. Yes, he had no guarantee that the child would be healthy and safe, but now that the potential child actually existed, he couldn't imagine being anything but grateful for whatever time they did have together. Like Tasha had said, anything could happen to anyone he loved, and he had to be prepared to face death.

Aside from that emotional minefield, nine months did not give him a long time to learn everything he needed to about babies and children. He'd get online and order some books so he and Tasha could be fully prepared. Rather, as prepared as anyone could be. He had enough friends with kids to know the unexpected would happen, and all you could do was roll with the punches. Moving one hand from behind his head so he could stroke Ileana, he thought about how much his life would change.

Tasha guesstimated the baby being due at the end of April. Jasper North should be open by then, so he'd only have that job plus the occasional fashion shoot. Most of his photography would be at home, and since sound didn't matter, Tasha could bring their kid or kids down to the basement to hang out while he took pictures.

As far as Jasper North went, he'd be working mostly the day shift to be there for deliveries and administration. He'd planned to work Friday and Saturday nights as a bartender, but he may just do one night a week. That depended on the grandparents' willingness to babysit, and whether Tasha still wanted to do taproom nights. If she did, he'd work one night. If she didn't, he may go ahead and work two. While he could technically do his job without being at the club during open hours, it helped to be at the bar and see exactly who was buying what.

Since whatever hours he worked at night would mean less during the day, there wouldn't be an issue of him being away from the baby for a crazy amount of time. Adam and Sarah firmly believed in work/life balance. With them running the gym they probably wouldn't have it themselves for the first few months, but hopefully they wouldn't end up completely exhausted.

Being the father of a newborn might leave him exhausted, though. He wanted to make sure he could go out to dinner with Tasha one night a week to get some together time away from everybody else. Sadly, having sex in the house would be more of a challenge, but parents all around the world managed it. Surely Tasha and he could get creative.

Speaking of Tasha, she breezed downstairs and called out, "Um beijos, gatinho," before heading out. He grinned. Slowly but surely he'd teach her more Portuguese. It sounded sexy coming out of her pretty little mouth. Apparently she found both his accent while speaking English and his use of Portuguese sexy, so no matter what he said or did, she'd be happy. Reflecting on it, he deemed Tasha talking in English sexy, too.

Maybe when you found someone sexy in general you started finding everything they did sexy. He hadn't experienced that with other women. Somehow they did or said things that annoyed him a little. Liking everything about his woman was a new phenomenon. He hoped that meant he'd finally met the right one. They'd better have what it took for forever, because they had a baby on the way.

Shelby started barking at the front door, which didn't mean anything. Then a minute later the doorbell rung, and that required moving Ileana and putting on pants. After he'd stood up and his cat flounced off, he zipped his jeans and grabbed his shirt off the floor to pull on. Opening the door, his smile of welcome slid off his face.

Tasha's ex-husband, Geoffrey, stood at the door looking a little nervous.

"Can I help you?" Raf asked. What did this douchenozzle want?

"Is Tasha here?"

"No, she's gone to a friend's house. Can I give her a message?"

"Yes. Tell her Geoffrey came by. I had a fight with Penny and we've broken up. I'll help raise the baby, but clearly we weren't meant to be. I realized I made a mistake with Tasha, and I'm ready for us to get back to what we had. Since I'm going to be a father anyway, I may as well have whatever kids Tasha wants, too."

Raf somehow managed to keep his face neutral, no matter how much his 'bitch, please' look itched to make itself known.

"There are a few problems with that statement, Geoffrey. First, Tasha knows she's worth more than the guy who cheated on her, so she's not going to suddenly decide to take you back. Second, you shouldn't be thinking about having kids you don't actually want or love. And third, Tasha already found someone to have babies with. Me. You blew your chance. Don't come back."

Geoffrey stared at Rafael in shock for a moment. Then he pulled himself together. "I don't think you know Tasha well enough to speak for her. I'll talk to her on my own." He spun around and walked down the steps and to his car.

Closing the door, Rafael lifted his middle finger at the driveway. He wanted to ask Tasha what she'd been thinking to date an ass like that, but he knew if she met Genevieve, she would find his taste just as suspect. Humans could be dumb about the people they picked to have sex with. He wouldn't judge her for a poor choice made a long time ago.

Unfortunately, Geoffrey's visit made Raf too pissy to do anything constructive. He didn't want to think about the fact that his child would be going to school with Geoffrey's. There would be a firm house rule about not dating Geoffreyspawn.

Raf calmed down by petting Ileana, who had apparently forgiven him for dislodging her so he could trade words with dickbag. There would be no more happy reflections on fatherhood. Right now he wanted to bite a nail and spit it into Geoffrey's pretentious, pasty white face. Come on, no tan in August? What did the guy do all summer?

Picking up his phone, he called Scout.

"Hey, man," said Scout when he answered.

"Hey. How are you?" asked Raf.

"Doing well. I'm in Italy for a shoot. Can't beat Rome in the summer."

"Sounds beautiful. But I'm surrounded by beautiful, so no jealousy here."

"Yeah? What have you been up to?" Scout asked.

"Tasha and I are getting married in October. Will you be able to come out for the wedding?"

"No kidding! Why the rush? You knock her up?"

Raf fell speechless. Tasha hadn't wanted to tell people in Sleepy Sands, but Scout didn't know any of those people. "Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Rafael couldn't help snorting. "Super mature, Scout. But yeah, I knocked her up. We're just waiting until I can get an affordable flight for my family. I'd really love for you to be there, too. It'll be the second, third, or fourth weekend of October."

"My stuff then is all during the week. That's past the September Fashion Week madness, so it's usually pretty low key. If I need to reschedule something to earlier in the week so I have Friday to fly, I can do that."

"Awesome. This is why you're still my best friend."

"I didn't realize there was competition." Scout's voice held a hint of accusation.

"No way," scoffed Raf. But now he felt like he couldn't talk about how great Adam and Mikey were.

"Good. Cause I am never gonna find a better bromance than the one we have now. You are my brofriend forever."

He grinned. "My bae – brofore anyone else."

"Almost one hundred percent true, but Kaya is trying to video call me. Catch you later, handsome bro?"

Raf chuckled. "Have a good one with your lady, brothario."

"Fuck you much," Scout said sweetly.

"Fuck you more," he said with equal affection.

Setting his phone on the end table, Raf gave Ileana a few scratches under the chin. Then his phone buzzed. He grabbed it.

"Hey, Henrik."

"Good news, Rafael. I just got the final go ahead on a project starting in mid-April that needs an elevator specialist. The entire project will be about eight months, and I can justify a work permit based on the entire time. That'll get us into the college construction timeframe, and if we're chosen to contract for that we can get a second permit to last for probably about eighteen months. I have to run it by Anisa, but I think we're in a good position to get your dad here."

A wave of relief went through Raf. "That sounds amazing. Thanks for calling."

"Yeah, sure. I'm not sure why these people felt like they needed to email me on Sunday night, but apparently their lives aren't any more exciting than mine."

"No special plans?"

"I was supposed to hang out with Jenny tonight, but when James found out he decided they needed to have a romantic date instead. Apparently it's okay if Jenny, Irena, Rashmi and I hang out in a group. But if it's just Jenny and I, that's somehow walking dangerously close to the friends with benefits path."

Rafael laughed. "Jealous boyfriends are the best. It's not like you're going to sleep with someone who's one of your best friends."

"To be fair, I hook up with both Rashmi and Irena if we're single."

"Together?" Raf knew the people of Sleepy Sands had to occasionally have threesomes, but he hadn't heard about any yet.

Henrik snorted. "Rashmi only believes in threesomes based on her fantasy, which is two guys. I refuse to confirm or deny whether such thing has actually happened with me as one of those guys."

"And Irena?"

"Would be okay with a threesome with another woman. And again, I refuse to confirm or deny whether such thing has actually happened with me as the guy, but if you get her drunk enough she'll start listing her favorite exploits, and plenty of people have witnessed what she said."

"You refuse to kiss and tell?" Raf teased.

"I feel that with hetero relationships it should always be the woman's choice whether you go public about sex. That seems more gentlemanly. Both Rashmi and Irena have made it public knowledge they've hooked up with me. Neither have talked soberly about any threesomes, so I'll keep my mouth shut."

"Good plan," Raf said. "I've indulged in threesomes myself before, but now that I've met Tasha, I couldn't imagine sharing her with anyone else. I want to be the only person that makes her come."

"Sounds like true love."

"It is."

"You're pretty damn cute together at the taproom. She's a lot happier now than she ever was with Geoffrey," Henrik said more seriously.

"He came by here trying to get her back." If Geoffrey was going to be a dick, he was getting gossiped about.

"What? That man is a fool. If I ever find a woman I want to marry, you can be damn sure I'm not letting her go."

"Famous last words, my friend," Raf warned.

"Shit, you're probably right. Do me a favor and don't gloat if I end up fucking it all up, alright?"

"I can promise that. So, umm, Tasha mentioned the other day you might be looking for another beta reader?"

"Hell, yeah. Are you interested?" Henrik sounded really excited.

They discussed the details of how to work things, then Henrik sent half of his work in progress. Rafael was reading it when Tasha came home. Although he didn't want to wipe the smile of her face, he knew he had to tell her about Geoffrey.

"You did the right thing," she said when he finished. "I wouldn't give that worm a second chance even if we were the last two people on earth."

Rafael laughed. "I wish I could have told him that."

"I'll tell him myself if he comes anywhere near me. What a total prit."

"Prat," he corrected automatically.

"Right. Why do I keep getting that confused?"

"You know what? Prit is now a word, and it means 'guy who cheated on his wife and is stupid enough to think she'd ever come back.'"

Her eyes lit up. "Sold. I love that idea."

"Mmm, I love you."

"I totally love you. That's why I'm marrying you."

His lips tugged into a smile. "Can't wait. How do you feel about a short honeymoon in New York City?"

"Well, I haven't been there since college, so it would be fun to go as an adult. Are you feeling a little homesick?"

Raf thought about it. "No, because New York isn't home anymore. It's a place I want to visit. And then come home to Sleepy Sands."

Tasha's smile made his look small. "Perfect answer."

He winked. "Perfect woman."

"If you think that, I'm not going to disabuse you of the notion. We'll just pretend I really am perfect."

"You are, xuxu."

She laughed. "I feel like now you're just angling to get laid."

"No. I just really love you."

"Te amo, Rafael Santos."

"You're the Sleepy in my Sands, Tasha Yancey."

Tasha laughed again. "I feel like I've laughed more in a couple months with you than I did in years with Geoffrey the Prit."

"The same is true for me. Honestly, what were we thinking settling for those two cheaters?"

"For me I just didn't expect anything better. And I know that comes from a lot of things – feeling like I was a bad person for not watching my grandmother, feeling like my father put me into fourth place, not getting a lot of positive sexual attention from men when I was younger. It just created this perfect storm where I wanted to stick with good enough rather than risk heartbreak with greatness."

Rafael thought about that. "That makes sense. I think my past was a big element, too. I was afraid to really go all in on love because of the fear of losing someone like I lost Diego. So I found people I could love mildly and avoided looking for people I could love wildly. In retrospect, that's not a great way to live. But at the same time, I might have found someone I liked at the time, and missed out on being in the best relationship with you."

"True. Even if I'd found someone better than Geoffrey, it still wouldn't be what we have now."

"Fate put us on the right path to find each other."

"Well, right now fate just wants me to rip your clothes off," she said saucily. "Let's go upstairs, gatinho. I need you."

He grinned. "Yes, Princess."

She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. While she didn't actually rip his clothes off, she seemed pretty aggressive, so he let her take the lead. That translated to her on top with his hands free to play with her beautiful breasts. Watching the place where their bodies joined, he got so excited he pulled her face down for a kiss that told her who'd mastered her body. Judging by the way she kissed back, she had enough confidence to know she'd also mastered his.

They came at the same time, a beautiful thing that reminded him they would always be together. He loved this woman so deeply. And having sex without a condom? So nice. He really should knock her up more often.

"What are you grinning about?" she asked with post-sex huskiness.

He told her what he'd just thought, and she laughed.

"It was nice," Tasha said. "But now I'm dripping, so bathroom for me."

"I'll help."

Touching a washcloth to her pussy shouldn't be so exciting, but it turned him on. Since he'd gotten to his knees he nearly pulled her close and buried his tongue in her buceta, but she probably felt a little too tender for getting head.

As they curled up in bed afterward, he hugged her close with one arm and traced her cheekbones with the other.

"My beautiful lady."

"My hot as fuck male model."

Rafael laughed. "In terms of getting chicks, it was a really wise career move."

"True. But I love that you wanted to do more and became a photographer, using what you knew about modeling to make other people look their best."

"It feels nice to have a way to make my own vision a reality, you know? To express myself in a way that leaves a mark behind."

Her eyes glowed. "Exactly. That's what I love about painting. I can look at each piece and remember the feelings that fueled it. I can see a part of my soul reflected on the canvas."

"Yes. I'm so lucky to have come to a town where everyone is encouraged to find that part of themselves and make beautiful moments. I'm excited that the theater company just started rehearsing so I can see what they come up with."

"I know. You can't go wrong with Molière."

"I saw a couple of his plays in New York," Raf said. "I laughed so hard. Humor that good still works three hundred years later."

"Yup. Think we'll still work three hundred years from now, in the afterlife?"

Even though he'd been doubting that very thing earlier in the evening, he felt only conviction when he responded. "Absolutely. This kind of love never dies."

"The body dies, but the love stays on."

"So poetic, Tashinha. You sure you don't want to add writer to your list of positive attributes?"

She laughed. "I tried that in high school and the results were not pretty. Ask Cara and Heather about the open mic poetry readings we went to in Traverse City."

"I bet I would like your poems."

"I might let you read them. Do you have any for me to read?"

Raf made a face. "I wrote a few poems at that age to impress girls. They're in Portuguese and should probably stay that way."

"Yeah, I don't think I want to read your odes to other women."

"My odes to you are photographs."

"I noticed since you took the pics for Izzy that your phone comes out to take pictures a lot more often."

"You created a monster, xuxu. It's your fault for being so beautiful."

Tasha snickered. "Sure. Well, we've acquired our nightly trio of furry children, and I'm feeling the urge to yawn, so I'm thinking it's time to call it a night."

"Sleep well."

"You, too."

She curled into him and slung an arm over his shoulders. He loved that she wanted so much of their bodies touching while they slept. He found it hard to go to sleep early on Sundays after being up late Friday and Saturday, and this night he felt so overwhelmed with the emotions of upcoming parenthood his brain absolutely refused to relax. He heard her breathing slow and enter sleep mode, but still he stayed awake, hashing through the many ways things could get screwed up.

After he reached peak worry mode he realized if he was anxious, Tasha would become more anxious, and she didn't need that. Tasha and he could handle this, as a team, like they would handle everything going forward. He needed to stop feeling paranoid about her getting sick of him, and start believing in them one hundred percent.

As for fatherhood, he needed to be calm about that, too. He'd be constantly learning and improving. He would love this kid – correction, he did love this kid – and they would know that, every second of every day. In nine months, he'd be meeting this amazing child, and he had never been this excited. He'd always wanted adventures, and no adventure was more epic than fatherhood.

### Chapter 21: Tasha

The first week of preparing to be a mother flew by in a swirl of book buying, cuddling with the father-to-be, and biting her tongue around Heather and Cara. Part of her wanted to tell them, but every time she almost did, something held her back. On Friday she had an appointment with her gynecologist/obstetrician. They took bloodwork and did a basic exam, promising to call her Monday. Saturday Rafael and she traded out photography poses and painting poses, then Sunday they drove to Leland so he could see the quaint town.

By Monday she had pretty much settled in to her new reality of making a baby, and lost herself in the planning for her various beverages. Things were on track to get the cider production going soon, and she couldn't wait to introduce that to the taproom.

When the doctor's office called that afternoon she prepared to be told she was, without a doubt, pregnant. The nurse did confirm that, but then went on.

"The hormone level is a little low, so the doctor wants to get additional bloodwork. Can you make it to a lab later today, and then on Wednesday? I'll email you the information to print out and give to them. Then we'd like to schedule you for an ultrasound Thursday."

A pit formed in Tasha's stomach. This did not sound normal. This sounded like a problem, and that terrified her. She couldn't make Rafael suffer through the loss of a baby after he'd made the decision to have one. Not to mention how gutted she herself would feel. After making the appointments for Wednesday and Thursday, Tasha checked in with Nigel to see if she could take off work to head to the local doctor's office in Sleepy Sands. Dr. Brimmer had a lab connected to his practice, and they would be able to do a walk-in to draw blood. Nigel didn't ask for details, just waved her off to see the doctor.

Telling Rafael had to happen. Their relationship was too new to risk alienating him because she didn't trust him. He couldn't take calls at the pub, though, so she waited until he came home and informed him of the lab results.

"What does this mean?" he asked, looking lost.

"I don't know. They didn't explain the possibilities, and frankly, I'm too terrified to Google it. Can you come to the appointment Thursday?"

"Absolutely. If this is bad news, we have to face it together."

That made her feel slightly better, but she still worried.

The doctor's office didn't call on Tuesday or Wednesday, so Rafael and she went in to the office Thursday with no more clue than before. The doctor herself did the ultrasound, and as she moved the wand, she looked more and more serious. She put the equipment away and stripped off her gloves. Tasha prepared herself to receive bad news.

The doctor spoke calmly. "The bloodwork and ultrasound indicate an ectopic pregnancy, which is what happens when the fertilized egg implants in the fallopian tubes rather than the uterus. Since we've caught this early, chances are good we can mange this without damage to your fallopian tubes. The earliness also allows us to do a shot of methotrexate rather than having to perform surgery.

"The shot is a form of abortion, but it's also your greatest chance of continued reproductive health. If you have moral issues to discuss, I'd be happy to do that. If not, then we can go ahead and do the shot today. If the treatment works, we won't have to do surgery. There is a possibility the treatment will not be effective, which would mean that a surgery would likely be required. In my experience, though, the shot is a very effective form of treatment. Would you like me to leave the room so you two can discuss your options?"

"Not necessary," Rafael said. "It's Tasha's decision, and I'll support what she wants to do completely."

She looked at him. His face was drawn, on the edge of some great emotion, but it seemed more sadness than anything else.

"Will the shot do anything to affect future pregnancies?" Tasha asked the doctor.

"No. In fact, it will do the least fallopian damage and give you the best chances of successful future pregnancies. However, I do have to warn you that having an ectopic pregnancy could lower your chances in terms of having a healthy pregnancy in the future. That doesn't mean it would be impossible. It just means we'll to have to watch everything carefully in the future, and that you need to be prepared for a bumpy road in terms of having children."

Tasha felt crushed. For so long she'd been wishing for a baby, and right when that dream seemed to be coming true, she ran into a brick wall. A brick wall that could affect her entire ability to have children. She felt tears welling up, but tried to keep them from emerging.

"I'd like to do the shot," she said.

"We'll get that set up," the doctor said. "Please give me a few minutes to prepare."

Tasha's chin had started wobbling by the time the doctor left the room.

"I'm so sorry, my love," Rafael said. "I can't imagine how hard this is for you."

She sniffled. "I'm the one who should be sorry. It's my body that failed, and now you have to deal with the one thing you didn't want to happen."

The tears flowed before she could stop them. Messy, gasping crying that spoke to a heart breaking from grief.

Raf hugged her tightly to him. "You did not fail me. This is an accident. It's going to be okay, Tashinha. Cry it out, but don't worry about what I feel or what the future may bring. You can't carry all that with you right now."

She was still crying when the doctor and a nurse entered the room. The doctor explained the process, the possible side effects, and the dates for bloodwork needed. Tasha tried to keep it all straight, but she noted Rafael seemed to be taking it all in and had started typing notes on his phone.

The second the needle hit her skin she had to fully acknowledge this baby wouldn't be a baby. All the hope, all the excitement, all the planning – all of it ended today. She wasn't going to be a mother in nine months. Maybe she wouldn't ever be a mother. That thought amplified every feeling of inadequacy she'd ever had. Every day women got pregnant, had successful births, and yet she had managed to mess up that basic part of the human life cycle.

Fuck. That's all she could think. Fuck this, fuck life, fuck her body.

The doctor and nurse left so she could dress and pull herself together. Tasha refused to look at Rafael, instead focusing on putting on her underwear and pants. Once she had her shoes on, she stepped to the door.

"Tasha," Rafael called from behind her.

"Yes?" she asked tremulously.

"You need to lean on me right now. You can't take all of this on yourself."

"I will." An empty promise.

She went on autopilot as they checked out and Rafael called Dr. Brimmer's office to schedule the lab visits. Hopefully Nigel would be understanding about her needing to take long lunches. Especially since she didn't know if she felt up to explaining to him why she had to go to the doctor so often. She did muster up the energy to call him and ask if she could take the rest of the day off, and he agreed.

"Whatever you need for your health, Tash," Nigel said. "You just tell me what you need."

"Thanks," she said hollowly.

In the car ride back Rafael tried several times to start a conversation, but she answered him in short phrases.

"Tasha, we need to talk about this. You've had a major loss. You have to let me in."

"Right now I need to just have some time to myself to think," she snapped.

"Okay," he said in a more subdued tone.

At the house she made herself a cup of herb tea and walked out to the back porch, sitting in her swing and hoping the view would give her some amount of comfort. Yet she looked at all the plants that had been bursting with blossoms earlier in the year and realized they were as barren as she was. No life, no birth. Just the memory of what had been.

Thoughts bled into each other at a frenetic pace, and she could only sip her tea and let them jumble through her mind. When they started slowing down she reflected on a few key realizations. First, although she had only had a week of potential motherhood, she had fully committed to the idea of this baby. Finding out she wouldn't have it was a real, tangible loss. Maybe in a world of comparing sadness it didn't rank as high as a parent losing a child after spending years getting to know them. But any loss had power, and she had a right to feel sad.

Secondly, the loss would be real to Rafael, too, and he had already had the experience of losing Diego. He'd been truly excited about this baby, and he now had to face a future where she had higher chances of future lost babies. How many times would they hear the words 'ectopic pregnancy' before he couldn't hear it any more? How much loss would they have to bear in her drive to become a mom? Maybe she shouldn't do that to him, to them. Maybe she should accept her body's limitations and consider something like adoption.

Would Rafael even want that? Or had this loss been game over for him? He might not have the heart and energy to try parenthood of any kind. He may be so full of sadness he couldn't face the possibility of watching another child go. How would that work with their relationship? Could he continue being with her if she wanted to try and he didn't? It seemed like that would pull them apart. No matter how much they may love each other, if they didn't have the same fundamental level of risk taking, they couldn't continue on.

In fact, he may very well be feeling resentment toward her already. Sure, he said he didn't think her body had failed, but that was his kindness talking. Not his inner demons. He could say he had no anger as much as he wanted to, but she figured it had to be there at some level. Anger, especially subconscious anger, would infiltrate their relationship. Even if they got on the same page about what to do about future children or the lack thereof, that anger would be insidiously building and shaping their treatment of each other.

Him breaking up with her felt inevitable. Whether it be from the disconnect of future wishes, or the bitterness over her body's inability to function properly, he would reach a point where he no longer loved her. He would move on. And she loved him way too much to be able to function after that.

The back door opened, and she stiffened.

"Sorry to interrupt, but do you want me to stay home from the taproom tonight? If so, I need to call Nigel so he can get Rich or someone to come in."

"You can go," she said lifelessly. "I don't need you for anything."

A pause. "Alright." The door closed, and it felt like that was a metaphor for their entire relationship.

Tasha woke up confused. It took her a minute to remember yesterday. She'd stayed outside for hours, then come inside to shovel down the meal Rafael prepared for her before he headed to the taproom. Then she'd gone upstairs and curled up in bed, falling asleep at some point between aching loss and virulent self-loathing. Nothing had woken her, and when she turned to the other side of the mattress she realized Rafael had never come to bed with her. Presumably he'd slept in the guest room or in his bed in the basement.

She'd already pushed him that far away. What would be next? Pushing him right out of the house? Consider this a bright, flashing neon sign that their relationship was not okay. Already she'd alienated him. Could there be any coming back from that? Did she even have the energy to try?

Dealing with Rafael felt like too much. She'd focus on what she could handle, which included getting ready and going to work. Noting that Rafael had slept in the guest room and seemed to still be slumbering, she went down the hallway, grabbed her breakfast to go, and headed out.

At work she went through the motions of civility, but didn't fully engage with people. She buried her nose into work and lost herself in plans for the future that could come true.

Around ten Nigel peeked into her office. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

He entered and closed the door behind him, taking a seat in front of her desk. "Is everything okay, Tasha? I don't want to be nosy if this is too personal, but I'm worried about you."

At first she opened her mouth to blow him off, but then she realized she really did need to talk to someone. Now that the worst had happened, she felt like she could talk to Heather and Cara, and in fact she desperately wanted their love and support. Until they left work, though, she could rely on Nigel. She explained about the pregnancy and why she needed to continue doing bloodwork, how she had to hope the methotrexate would work so she wouldn't have to take more time off for surgery.

"Don't give a thought to taking time off work. This is your health at stake, and that's what matters. Shite, I can't imagine what you're going through. Or how Raf was able to handle smiling at people last night. He seemed a little off, but not so much I needed to say anything. Just know people are rooting for both of you. You're part of the Sleeping Beer and Beverages family, and we'll be here to help you through anything you need."

How was it she could handle Nigel's sympathy, but not Rafael's?

"Thanks, Nige. I just... I wanted this so badly, you know?"

"I do know. And I feel awful that the Fates threw this your way when you deserve so much more. If you're not feeling up to working today, go home. Everything we do can wait. We make people tipsy, for fuck's sake. The world won't end if we don't do that as much or as fast."

That made her mouth lift up, even if she didn't fully feel like smiling. "While I won't argue that our work is comparatively non-essential, I do think being here and having something to focus on is helping. Working is the best thing for my brain right now."

"Okay. Just remember I am always around if you need to talk. At work, after work, in the middle of the night. I'm not just your co-worker, I'm also your friend."

"Nigel, you're my boss, not my co-worker."

"It never feels right for me to think like that. Yeah, my name's on the business loan, but you and Rich were right there when I started this company. It's as much your blood, sweat and tears as mine."

"Well, don't be surprised if I'm doing more tears than blood and sweat over the next few weeks. I'll try not to be a waterworks, but sometimes the only way to let pain out is through our eyes."

"That sounds absolutely fair to me," he said. "I'm going to get out of your office because I can see you glancing at that computer like it's got the answers to the universe, but like I said, talk to me any time. I've got your back. Promise."

"I know you do, and that means the world to me."

"Cheers." Nigel headed out, pulling the door behind him enough to discourage other people from stopping by without shutting it completely. He knew exactly what she needed.

So why didn't Rafael know what she needed? He'd pushed yesterday, and she'd pulled away. Then last night he'd pulled away, and she'd needed to wake up in his arms. Maybe they didn't know each other as well as she thought. Perhaps they'd gotten so caught up in things being easy they didn't notice the things that would slow them down now that they faced actual hardship. Healing from their exes cheating had seemed like a big deal at the time, something that bonded them together during a stressful period. Little did she know, that shit was nothing. This was real suffering. She wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone.

Time to get back to work before she fell down another hole of self-pity. Looking at her spreadsheet, she lost herself once again in cider prep. The rest of the day flew by, and Tasha picked up a to-go meal from Le Sable, figuring good food would help the healing process. Rafael had gone into work, so she had the house to herself. Although she tried to read while she ate, she couldn't concentrate. She just wanted to be painting. As soon as she'd eaten and cleaned up she headed up to her studio.

The painting of Rafael she couldn't handle right now, so she set it off the easel and picked up a blank canvas. Before she could get a charcoal to sketch with, she'd already started painting. She hadn't painted an abstract since college, but without a doubt she needed to do that. Watching shapes take form on the canvas, she added colors, swirls, painting the maelstrom of her emotions onto a ready surface.

At ten it got to the point where she'd painted herself out. She cleaned up and then grabbed her phone to call Heather. Fortunately Heather picked up right away, and Tasha asked if they could do brunch tomorrow at Heather's apartment. Inviting oneself over could be a little rude, but Heather had no qualms about having Tasha over. Cara would be working at the spa during the day, but Tasha could tell her about the pregnancy separately in the evening.

Dragging her tired ass to bed, Tasha slept through the night without waking up at Rafael's arrival home.

When she woke, the other side of the bed was empty again. Hurrying to get ready before he got up, she managed to get out of the house with no interactions. Once she turned the car to Heather's she sighed in relief, knowing that soon her best friend would be comforting her.

At Heather's she nearly broke down in tears again, but she managed to explain her past couple weeks before she indulged in another mini crying session.

"Wow," Heather said. "I'm so sorry, Tasha. That's heartbreaking. I know how much you want kids, and to have to face this? Life can be so cruel sometimes, and so often to the best of people. I don't even know how to make you feel better. It'll take time to get past the grief and be able to start thinking about the future again."

"Thanks. I know it's going to be a process. I just feel so angry that my body failed Rafael. This is already tearing us apart, and I don't want to lose him."

"Hey, your body did not fail Rafael. In no way are you are a failure. You are a human being who had something not uncommon happen to you. I'm sure rationally you know that's not your fault, but now you have to convince the little voice inside that you shouldn't take the blame. Don't listen to self-doubt. Ever. Listen to your friends and family supporting you."

Tasha sniffled and nodded. "I haven't even told my parents about the loss. I don't know if Rafael told his parents yesterday. Or if he's calling them today."

"Do you want to be there when he does?"

"Not really. I feel like he needs to work through that with them, and it will be easier if they can all talk about it in their first language."

"Good point," Heather said. "But you should call your parents soon. I'm sure they'll know what to say."

"Maybe. Are you mad that I didn't tell you I got pregnant?"

"No. I understand completely. And frankly, it's probably better you didn't, because I'm feeling a little fragile lately, and I might have been jealous. Lately I've almost wanted to give up on finding a husband and just use a sperm donor to have a child."

Tasha frowned. "Things with Adam aren't going well?"

"Things with Adam aren't going anywhere, and we both know it. We get along and the sex is great, but if I can't fall in love with a totally awesome guy like Adam, what are the chances I could find anyone? I feel like I got broken when Manesh and I ended things, and there's a piece of me that's always going to be missing. Fuck, what am I doing complaining about this when you just found out you lost your baby? I'm sorry. I want to talk about you. I know you're harboring a few more destructive thoughts. Tell me what they are so we can kill them with fire."

Tasha couldn't help laughing. "You know me so well."

She unloaded all of her fears about her relationship, and Heather helped make her feel better about all of it. Maybe Rafael and Tasha did have a chance. But she didn't feel like having this level of conversation with him, so she decided to spend the day hiding at Heather's. Maybe not the best plan, but sometimes you had to take the easy route. Especially right after life piled on something so difficult. Her heart felt battered, and she needed to keep it safe, even if that meant taking a step away from Rafael.

### Chapter 22: Rafael

With Tasha gone from the house when Rafael woke Saturday, he called his family to share his sad news. He knew the conversation would be difficult, and it turned into a lot of tears on his mother's part. The reminder of not only Diego but also her miscarriages set her off into a gloom, and his father seemed equally affected. Gabs didn't even attempt to cheer him up, she just offered sympathy and made suggestions for how to make Tasha feel better with flowers and chocolates. He wanted to say, 'who is giving me things to make me feel better? Because it sure as hell won't be her.'

He worried he'd already lost Tasha, and though he didn't say that to his family, they seemed to realize he had more to worry about than just the loss of his child. Potential child. It had never really been his in any tangible way. Just a hope that fell apart.

Tasha still hadn't returned when he got off the phone, so he dashed off a text that he was awake and wanted to see if she needed anything. A response came back right away, which seemed good, but the response said she'd be with Heather until later. Apparently she was still avoiding him. That felt problematic. When it came time for him to leave for work and Tasha still hadn't come home, he knew their relationship had irrevocably shattered. Getting through work took all his energy, and he pretty much fell into the guest bed when he got home.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday – all days he tried to start conversations with Tasha and got nowhere. Thursday he didn't even bother trying, and though they both worked behind the taproom bar they somehow managed to avoid each other the entire night. Back at the house he watched her head up to bed on her own. He felt like something vital had slipped through his fingers, and he had no idea if he could ever get it back. Nothing seemed to be a solution, so he simply went to bed and slept.

When he woke Friday Tasha had gone to work, and he had nothing to do besides sit and think. He'd told Scout Wednesday and Adam Thursday about the ectopic pregnancy. They both offered support, and that helped, but the person he wanted to talk to was Tasha. Unfortunately, she'd done nothing but pull away. Whatever she felt, she didn't want to share it with him, and she seemed equally uninterested in helping him work out his own emotions.

That didn't feel like a healthy relationship. Partners needed to work together, rely on each other, hold tight when things got bad. Instead, she'd built a wall. It seemed like the grief she carried had somehow made her question their relationship, and so far he'd been found lacking. It wouldn't surprise him if she wanted to break up. He felt like that might happen at any time. What would he do then? Would he stay in Sleepy Sands with the love of his life rejecting him? Or would he tuck his tail between his legs and go back to New York City, re-entering the fashion world and just plugging away at life?

If he left, he'd never get the chance to get Tasha back, and that felt wrong. But what if after breaking up with him, Tasha decided that with Geoffrey being single and willing to have kids, she wanted the 'safe' relationship again? He couldn't handle that. No way would he stay in Sleepy Sands to watch that shitshow. At least if she broke up with him and didn't take Geoffrey back, Raf had a chance.

But did he want that chance? If she gave up on their relationship the first time something bad happened, did they even have the potential for a life together? Maybe he'd be better off not pinning all his hopes and affections on someone who bailed after facing trouble. Yes, he loved Tasha, but would she be good for him? Did their relationship ever have a chance at being healthy after this all-encompassing rot currently destroying it from the inside?

Maybe the only reason she hadn't broken up with him was her being too tired to do it. Perhaps when she healed more she would give him his marching orders. How would he deal with a breakup in addition to his grief over the child he hadn't thought he would ever be brave enough to have? Right now he felt like a hot mess, and the woman who kept him grounded had checked out.

Ileana jumped into his lap and meowed. Raf pulled his mind out of the clouds and pet his baby girl. He could learn a lot from her. She'd been with someone that she'd really loved, and when she lost that person, she had taken a chance on someone new – on him. Maybe if Tasha left him he would still find the strength to try again.

Wait, wrong lesson. Why was he taking this sitting down? Why did he feel the shove life gave him so intensely that he curled up and died a little himself? That wouldn't solve any problems. The lesson from Ileana should be that she grieved and bounced back, learning to be happy again. Rafael could do that, too. So could Tasha. If they leaned on each other, they'd find it easier to step forward.

Giving up on his relationship with Tasha wasn't an option. He needed to fix things with her, be the one to meet her needs. Undoubtedly she'd turned to Heather and Cara, but now he had to step in and be her rock. No more passive acceptance, no more defeatist attitude of just waiting for her to break up with him. He would not allow either of them to throw away something so right. Raf needed to talk to her when she got off work. Picking up his phone, he prepared to call in sick, then paused. Actually, he needed to talk to her right now. He refused to spend another minute with their relationship weakened.

Driving over to Sleeping Beer, he tried out a few statements in his mind but couldn't figure out the best opening. As he walked in and the receptionist asked how she could help, he decided he would have to wing it.

"Can I check in with Tasha in her office?" he asked.

"Sure," she said brightly.

He headed down the hallway and found the door open. Tasha sat at her computer, absorbed in work. Entering quietly, he closed the door behind him. That got her to look up. Her face fell as soon as she saw him. Yesterday, that would have caused him despair. Today, he knew he needed to fight harder.

"Is there something you need?" she asked.

"Yes. I need to have a conversation with my fiancée. I need you to stop holding everything inside and stop pulling away from me. I need you to hear me when I say I am not angry at your body, I am just as devastated as you are, and I can't get through this on my own. You're the person I need to rely on, and I'm betting you need to rely on me.

"All of the past week I thought I shouldn't force you to talk about things if you were upset, that I should wait until you were ready. Well, I'm tired of waiting. Up until the ectopic pregnancy, we had zero communication issues. We talked all the time about everything on our minds. Now I'm feeling completely separate from you, and I don't like it. The distance between us hurts me and I'm worried about whether we can find our way back. The drifting apart ends today, Tasha. Do you want to break up with me? Is that what this is about?"

Her face looked immeasurably sad. "I can't imagine that you would want to stay with a woman who lost your first child, and whose chances of a healthy pregnancy have been significantly reduced. I know the worst thing for you is to lose a child, and not only did my faulty body make you go through that once, there's a huge risk the same thing will happen if we try to have another baby. I've watched you mourn, and I can't imagine you being able to go through this again. I'm just too cowardly to end things between us because I love you so much."

She finished her statement with a sob, and tears welled up in her eyes. Whipping around the desk, he got her out of her chair and into his lap with his arms around her and her head tucked under his chin.

"Tashinha, don't put all these negative words in my mouth. I love you regardless of whether we have children, or try again and lose again, or adopt. Hell, we can clone our damn babies if that's what you want. If you're willing to take the risk of getting pregnant again, then so am I. Every single time. Yes, I grieved, but I grieved the distance between us as much as I grieved that child."

"You say that now, that you can handle it happening again. But maybe you won't be able to. And maybe at that point you will blame me and hate me, and by then I'd be so lost for you, it would rip my heart in two to see you hurt by me."

"Why would I blame my hurt on you? You didn't cause this. You don't have control over this. You are no more responsible for an ectopic pregnancy than I am. Who knows, maybe it's the fault of my sperm, did you think about that? Maybe the little fuckers swam too far, and you should be blaming me. Would you be mad if that's what happened?"

Rubbing her eyes, she sniffled. "No. That wouldn't be your fault."

"Then please explain to me why I should think the loss of this pregnancy is your fault."

Silence. Then in a small voice, "It's my body."

"Okay. Then Diego's death was his fault because it was a failure of his body?"

"Of course not!"

"So other people are allowed to have human frailties. It's just your body that needs to be perfect?" he demanded.

"You're making it sound like I'm an idiot for thinking this way," she said hotly. "Why don't you try watching your body screw you over and then tell me how to feel about it?"

"What makes you think I haven't experienced that? Right after I moved to New York, I was walking off the runway in these ridiculous manheels some designer thought he could popularize, and I ended up tripping, which twisted my ankle and broke a toe. I knew it would be hell to walk out there one more time, but it was early in my career and I felt I had no other choice. I started changing into the next look, but I fell over while I was trying to pull my pants on.

"The manager of the show took one look at me and said I wasn't going out there, because if I fell it would look like the product was faulty. He made me go to a clinic, and I sat there waiting to be seen, freaking out about losing my contract for the show after spending all my money on moving costs. I was so fucking pissed at myself, because no one else fell, just me. I was the jackass who couldn't walk right, and I had three more shows that week to do. But you know what? After they treated the ankle and wrapped the toe, I realized the problem had been those stupid shoes. I decided to stop being mad at myself and start treating my body with care so I could do those other shows. You can't heal yourself if you're angry at yourself. You have to be able to give yourself love."

She sniffled. "Did you end up walking in the other shows?"

"I did, and I got the full pay from the show I tripped at, probably because they realized I had grounds for a lawsuit. So it was a happy ending. And you'll have a happy ending, too, Tashinha. We will together, because no matter what happens with children, we have each other. The feelings you have right now are from your anxiety talking, so no, you're not an idiot. You're just being overwhelmed by thoughts that are very negative through no fault of your own. I understand where your worries come from, but I need you to know they are not a reflection of how I actually feel."

"Not even a little?"

"Not even a micron." He kissed the top of her head.

"It's kind of hard to feel sorry for myself if you're going to go all hot science nerd on me."

Raf needed that laugh. "I will keep that in mind for future hardships we face together. And we will face them together next time, xuxu. I can't handle us being apart, because you're my rock... or at the very least, my Petoskey stone."

He felt her laugh, then take in a shaky breath.

"See, and I think of you as my diamond because you're always hard."

Relief flooded him as he realized they were going to be alright.

"I felt anchorless without you there," she said before he could respond to her joke. "I need you, too. I thought you would want to break up with me, and I couldn't handle having that conversation. I'm sorry I didn't communicate with you. I should know you well enough to know you wouldn't bail after one road bump. I should have trusted you to tell me what you felt, and known you'd be ready to listen to what I felt."

"Grief brings a lot of dark thoughts that can twist our minds. I had my own paranoid wonderings going through my mind. A grief-driven failure to communicate is understandable and forgivable."

She wiped tears away from her face. "And like you said, the anxiety doesn't help. Thank you for forgiving my freak out, and for being the one to come here and end my downward spiral. Now I know not to assign opinions to you. I need to listen to what you really have to say, and be honest about what I want to say. I think we can learn from what happened, and it will help us not do that again. We'll be able to have a healthier relationship now."

"Absolutely. I'm ashamed to say I almost gave up on us, and I will not let that happen again. We've both learned important lessons from this, and it will make our bond stronger."

She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "Te amo, Rafael."

"Te amo, Tashinha. Let me just hold you for a while, and then I'll let you get back to work."

"You're more important than work." She sighed. "I just got so excited about the pregnancy. I wanted to be a mother more than anything, and I finally had it in my grasp. When I lost that, I lost the new identity I'd formed for myself, and I didn't know if I wanted to go back to the old one. I missed that feeling of knowing we had a child on the way. That sense of hope. I still miss that."

"I miss that, too. I spent so long thinking I wouldn't ever become a father, and then when you told me I would be one, it felt like my world came together and everything would be alright. Now I miss that little person that would have been ours."

"You really want to try again?" she asked.

"Absolutely. The doctor said we could stop using birth control three months after the date of the methotrexate injection. It'll be safe to try then, and I'm ready whenever you are."

"I'm so ready for that." Tasha kissed his neck and then threw her arms around him again and squeezed. "By the way, she called this morning to let me know we're all clear for having sexual relations as long as we do use a form of birth control."

"We tried using condoms, and that didn't work out so well. Should we wait until the three months is over?"

She pulled away and made a 'bitch, please' face. "No, we should not. We just need to be safe and use two condoms for a while."

He'd willingly lose a little sensation if it meant keeping her safe. "Sounds good to me. Do you still want to have the wedding in October?"

"To quote my handsome fiancé, 'Absolutely.' How did your parents take the news about the pregnancy? I bet it brought up some bad memories."

"It did, but we got past it. The best weekend for them is the fourth weekend of October. Since it's the first weekend of September already, I need to buy the tickets as soon as I get home, if that date works for you."

"It does. Buy the tickets. I need something good to happen to us after all this bad."

He kissed her forehead. "Can we put together a wedding that you'll enjoy in seven weeks?"

"I would enjoy wearing a paper bag if it meant becoming your wife."

"I thought maybe cloth bags. Better for the environment."

Tasha laughed. "You make me laugh, and I need that in my life."

"You make me want to make you laugh. One thing I don't want with this wedding is a lot of extra fluff no one remembers. Instead of fancy invitations, can we just make an announcement inviting people to the wedding? Maybe at the pub like Cara and Mikey did?"

"Works for me. How about Sunday night?"

He liked that plan. "I'll text and email my people."

She nodded. "I'll text and email mine. Do you know how to do a live broadcast on your phone?"

"I do."

"Oh, good. I've never had anything interesting I needed to go live for before."

He touched his fingertip to her nose. "I wouldn't say that, xuxu. I find everything you do interesting."

"I really don't need to make a video for my friends talking about how many orgasms I had that day."

"But you should always feel free to make that video for me. Okay, I want to get back to the house to buy those plane tickets, and you need to call your mom so we can start our wedding planning."

"Sir, yes, sir," she said cheekily.

"Hmm, I think I might like hearing you say that."

"Get out of here before I smack your ass, Rafael Santos."

"Anything you want, Tasha Yancey." He stood them both up and then walked toward the door.

"Love you," she called.

He turned and blew her a kiss. "Um beijos, Tashinha."

As he headed to the car he felt like a weight had been lifted off him. He could breathe. He wanted to sing and dance, in fact. Tasha and he had faced the darkness, but ultimately they fought and won. Next time life sent them lemons, they would rain down hell until they had lemonade.

Alcoholic lemonade, knowing Tasha.

At home he bought the three plane tickets and emailed the info to his family. Then he busied himself choosing who he wanted to invite to his wedding. Adding both Zachary Wingrave-Astonby and Adam's sister Sarah to his list, he smiled at the thought of them having a wedding hookup. He hoped Zach would make Sarah's dreams come true. He just hoped they wouldn't do it the night before the wedding. If he wasn't getting laid, nobody else should, either.

He texted Tasha when he'd sent out a heads up to his list. She texted back she'd done the same. And then a second message popped up saying, 'Love you! xoxo.' To which he responded, 'It's actually xuxu' with a winking smiley. She came back with, 'Really? That's how you spell that? Huh. But that was a very American kisses and hugs. Not all of us can be Brazilian hotties.' A snort escaped him. He wrote, 'BTW, American girl, it's te amo.' A minute later he laughed when he read, 'It's going to be a heart emoji and you're going to be okay with that.' 'Yes, I am,' he sent.

Yeah, he would definitely be okay with whatever form of affection she gave him, for as long as she decided to put up with him. Hopefully that would be forever.

Sunday Tasha and Raf got to the pub early and bought drinks from the bar. When they turned around they found Jocasta Baptiste and Tom Walker holding drinks. Jocasta gripped hers with her left hand, and Raf noticed a ring there he hadn't seen before.

"Did you get engaged?" he asked.

She grinned. "Officially. We first talked about getting married in high school, but decided not to get rings until we had wedding money and a date picked out. Friday we made our venue reservations and bought the rings. We haven't gotten around to making an announcement. We figured we'd let people gossip to save us the work."

Raf laughed. "Nice. Congratulations to both of you."

"Thanks," Tom said. "Since Mikey finally asked Cara, the way was clear."

"Aww, you put off your engagement just so Cara didn't get jealous?" Tasha asked.

Tom nodded.

"You win the best brother award," Tasha said.

"We weren't in a rush," said Jocasta. "Our friends are still figuring things out romantically, and it didn't seem right to be the only uncool married couple around."

Tasha and Raf laughed.

"Come on back to hear our announcement. It'll be eerily familiar to you," Tasha said.

When everyone gathered in the back room Raf set their phones to live broadcast, and Tasha shouted for silence. He walked over and put his arm around her. She told everyone they'd gotten pregnant, decided on a quick wedding, then a week later found out the pregnancy was ectopic. She nearly teared up, recovered, and said they were still sorting through their grief, but they absolutely wanted to have their wedding on October 22nd. Raf invited everyone hearing the announcement to come, and said he and Tasha appreciated any words of encouragement that people had to give.

"Grief is not a simple process," he said. "It makes the wonderful seem inconsequential, and the inconsequential seem wondrously daunting. We both need to process our feelings, but we are very much interested in trying again and having children. Hopefully a few months after our wedding we'll be able to make an announcement about our next pregnancy."

Everyone clapped, and Raf turned off the video feeds. He found himself mobbed by friends, all offering hugs, sympathy and support. Several of the older couples mentioned reproductive problems they'd had, and Rafael felt comforted knowing they'd gone on to have happy families. By the time they left the pub he felt very loved and appreciated. He had a support structure here he never could have imagined while living in New York City.

On the way home Tasha read all the comments people had placed on their social media accounts.

"Holy shit," she said.

"What?" asked Raf.

"Zachary Wingrave-Astonby wrote, 'Condolences to you both on your loss, but congratulations on the marriage. I look forward to seeing you come together to face new challenges when I'm there for your wedding.' You invited Zachary Wingrave-Astonby to our wedding? Rich kid turned male model turned designer of super successful menswear brand Z-Win?"

"I thought you didn't follow fashion," he teased.

"I follow hot, and that man is beautiful."

Rafael laughed. "Just remember you're not allowed to sleep with him."

She snorted. "Only one male model gets this pussy."

"So am I getting it tonight, xuxu?"

"That's really spelled x-u-x-u? I wouldn't have guessed that one."

"Tasha, are we having sex when we get home or not?"

"Geez, testy. Yes, we are putting the stick in the hole when we arrive at the house. Is that better? Can you handle driving now?"

That make him snicker. "I'm wondering if maybe it's time to introduce spanking into our sex life."

"You want me to spank you? Is that because I was talking about Zachary Wingrave-Astonby and you got excited?"

He laughed the rest of the way home. And when they got inside and undressed, there was no discussion of spanking. Or of any other male model.

### Epilogue: Tasha

Tasha had two reasons to look forward to Thanksgiving. First, Thanksgiving food. Duh. Second, Thursday marked the first day Raf and Tasha could have sex without using birth control. Babymaking could be on the agenda, and she'd circled it, starred it, and spread her legs for a morning screw with her husband.

Yup, they'd had a beautiful wedding at Old Sands Inn before heading over to By the Sands for their reception. While they didn't buy every possible wedding item, they had beautiful flowers and pictures taken by a bona fide fashion photographer who was a friend of Raf's.

Having their family and friends gathered had been amazing. Tasha absolutely loved Raf's family. His sister radiated awesomeness, and his parents had been very kind. After being shown around Sleepy Sands, the trio declared they couldn't imagine a better place to move to. Tasha also got to meet the famous Scout Thomason and his feisty wife Kaya, both of whom accepted her with open arms. The two spent four days in Sleepy Sands, and decided at the end to buy a vacation condo at By the Sands so they could visit whenever they wanted. Rafael had been thrilled.

Now Raf and Tasha were ready to celebrate the holiday at her mom's new house.

"Breakfast here or there?" she asked Raf.

"Here. Because it might involve a post-meal screw over the kitchen table."

She laughed. "I ovulated last week, so I don't think those little sperms are going anywhere important. But sure, let's fuck the day away."

Raf winked. "They need lots of practice for the big day when they meet the magical egg."

"Maybe that should be my next painting. The sperm knights meeting the magical Egg Princess."

He laughed so hard he had to get out of bed and go to the bathroom.

Downstairs they made a breakfast of pancakes and eggs.

"See," Tasha told her ovaries, "This is what happens to unfertilized eggs. This is why you want to be nice and fertilized."

Raf started cracking up again. Once they'd eaten and cleared off the table they did indeed test it for load capacity (still sturdy), then went upstairs to shower and, surprise surprise, have sex again.

Shelby came along with them to her mom's. After exuberant barking and hugs, the four humans headed into the kitchen to plan their assault. Lee and Raf seemed to be well trained enough as husbands to simply nod when Tasha's mom went over the schedule. Tasha, on the other hand, fought for making the pies before they put the turkey in.

"I'm all coffeed up and ready to go this morning. Let's get this pie shit started," she said.

Raf silently shook from laughter before recovering. "I second Tasha on 'this pie shit.' I'm feeling quite frisky right now."

Tasha glared at him. They were absolutely not having a quickie in her mom's half bath. He just smiled rakishly and winked.

Okay, fine, maybe they were.

Cooking alternated with relaxing, and by the time the meal got placed on the table, Tasha felt completely at ease. Maybe the quickie in the bathroom had something to do with that.

They dug into their first bites and ooh'd and aah'd over the food.

"Time to talk about what we're thankful for," her mom said after they'd shoveled enough food into their faces. "I'll go first. I'm thankful that my daughter got married to a wonderful man this year. I'm thankful to be happily married to my own wonderful man. I'm thankful we've moved back to Sleepy Sands, and are well into construction for the expansion of the call center. Lastly, I'm thankful because however it works out, be it naturally or via adoption, I'm going to be a grandmother soon."

They toasted to that. Tasha decided to go next. "I'm thankful I had the perfect wedding to the perfect guy. I'm thankful that we had an awesome honeymoon to New York City over Halloween and got to hit the town running. I'm thankful that our cider line is doing excellent business at the taproom and in bottle sales, and I'm thankful we've got mead and fruit wines fermenting we can start selling in the new year. Lastly, I'm thankful to have sold two paintings at Rosalind's gallery and get a commission to do two more."

Rafael squeezed her hand after the toast. "I'm thankful for my beautiful wife. I'm grateful that my family is on track to get here in April. I'm thrilled that my new photography business has taken off, and that every Saturday I get to do fashion shoots with people who ordinarily wouldn't have that experience. I'm happy Scout and Kaya are skipping the chic New York parties to spend New Year's with us. I'm beyond thankful the preparations for Jasper North are going well, and we'll be on track to open in February. Finally, I'm truly awed that Tashinha is giving me the opportunity to become a father, and it's so wonderful we're ready to start trying."

Lee grinned. "I won't mention the disappearance to the bathroom together."

Oops. Guess they hadn't been as subtle as they thought.

"My turn," Lee said. "I'm thankful for my own beautiful wife. I'm thankful we've moved to such a beautiful house in a truly wonderful town. I'm thankful my business is going well, and I'll be able to give lots of presents to my upcoming grandchildren. And I'm thankful that everyone is being very patient with my efforts to learn how to make pottery. I was told I had to find an artistic outlet when I moved to Sleepy Sands, and I'm upholding my end of the bargain. Even if it means making incredibly wonky mugs and a few demented plates."

"They're amazing for your first few months," said her mom. "You should be proud."

"You really are doing well, Lee," said Tasha. "I know it's frustrating at first, but every project will get better and easier."

He smiled. "I hope so. Anyway, here's to the four of us reaching for the stars and being able to catch them when they fall."

The glasses clinked and everyone took another sip of the rose petal wine Tasha had made in September.

"This wine is amazing," her mom said. "I sincerely hope you and Nigel get a boost in business so you can afford to make flower wines for sale."

"That would be awesome," Tasha said. "We're happy with the fruit wines on the way, but these flower wines are so unique. I'd love to be able to share them."

"It'll happen," Raf said, eyes twinkling. She loved that he always believed in her and supported her so she could reach her goals.

"So what does your ovulation schedule look like?" her mom asked.

Tasha practically choked on her wine. "Mom. Seriously?"

"Well I want to know when the first chance of pregnancy will be."

"She pushed you out of her uterus, Tasha," Lee said. "Surely you're comfortable discussing yours with her?" He seemed to really be enjoying Tasha's embarrassment.

She stuck her tongue out at Lee. "Second week of December. So if I don't have a period after Christmas, we'll be using our tests."

They'd bought two. At Sleepy Sands Pharmacy and Wellness this time, because everyone knew they were trying.

"You know, I never thought of peeing on sticks as a romantic thing," Raf said. "But it kind of tugs at my heart."

Tasha laughed. "I'd like to see you have to do it."

"You know, if we were seahorses, I'd be the one carrying our child," said Rafael.

"You'd look very handsome as a seahorse," her mother said with a straight face.

Tasha made the mistake of glancing at Lee, who seemed to also be struggling with trying not to die laughing.

Rafael nodded quite seriously. "Perhaps I should get a seahorse costume for our newborn photos."

Lee and Tasha lost the fight. Even her mom's mouth started twitching. Raf just looked at them all with showy bewilderment, as if he couldn't understand what they found so humorous. That made Tasha laugh even harder.

When she recovered she took Raf's hand. "Te amo, gatinho."

"Love you back, xuxu."

After dinner Raf and Tasha headed back to their house to drop off Shelby and cuddle with the cats. At eight they headed to Nigel's house for a Thanksgiving party since he closed the taproom on holidays. Grabbing ciders, they made their hello rounds. Once they'd chatted with everyone, Raf wandered off. Tasha found Cara and Heather sitting on an old couch in the basement bedroom where only black lights illuminated the space.

"Isn't this where everyone plays Spin the Bottle?" Tasha asked.

"I'm not married yet," Cara said. "I can kiss whoever I want."

Heather nodded emphatically. "Kissing is the best."

Tasha laughed. "I did tell Raf that it would probably be played tonight, and he just shrugged and said, 'Kiss whoever you want on the lips, xuxu. I'm the one who gets to kiss all the good places.'"

"Nice," said Cara. "Of course, you probably didn't mention that you've already kissed everyone over the years."

"What Geoffrey the Prit didn't know didn't hurt him," Tasha said.

"Girl, what were you thinking with that douche?" Cara asked. "He cheated on you with Penny, and then he knocked Penny up, broke up with her, and started seeing some twenty-three-year-old from Traverse City who wants a sugar daddy."

"They deserve each other," Tasha said.

Heather nodded. "Totally."

"How was Thanksgiving for you two?" asked Tasha.

"Good. I spent all day at my parents'," Heather said. "And my mom and Mikey wouldn't let anyone else in the kitchen, so I didn't have to do anything."

Tasha grinned. "Thanksgiving with two chefs has to be nice."

"The food there was a lot better than my house," Cara said. "But Mikey was not thrilled to be dragged away from his family's house to do late lunch at my house. Then I was not thrilled to go back to his and eat another meal four hours later."

"Poor baby to have two Thanksgivings," Heather mocked.

"The struggle is real," Cara tossed off.

Tasha couldn't help laughing. "My dad didn't seem offended that we didn't want to drive to Traverse City. Mom invited his family over, but they like to spend holidays with Michelle's parents, who prefer to stay close to home."

"Next year you'll have Raf's parents in town. Will you host then?" Heather asked.

"My mom already decided she's inviting them over. She thinks they need a practice Thanksgiving before they can host one of their own. Raf is pretty sure they'll always be happy sharing the day with my family. Beatriz and Fernando apparently really like my parents. And Gabriela likes food she doesn't have to cook."

"Who doesn't?" Cara asked. She looked to Heather. "How is ice sculpture season?"

Heather grinned. "I'm having so much fun. I made one of my two kitties."

"Aww," said Tasha. "Do we get to see it?"

"It's in the freezer at Old Sands, so stop by and eat, and I'll show it to you. I'm thinking breakfast tomorrow, what about you two?"

"I'm totally on for breakfast," Cara said.

"Me, too," Tasha said. "Can Raf come?"

"Sure," said Heather. "And Mikey can come, too."

Cara made a face. "Have you eaten at Old Sands Inn with Mikey when someone else is in the kitchen? He spends the entire meal critiquing the chef and comparing their food to his. Especially when his mom is cooking."

Heather and Tasha laughed.

"You should see those two when they make new recipes," Heather said. "They're like sharks circling blood in the water, looking for weaknesses."

Cara nodded. "Seriously. The competition level between Maggie and Mikey is not for the faint of heart."

Tasha grinned and looked at Heather. "I remember you talking about your mother teaching you to cook in junior high and high school. It sounded like so much drama."

Heather's eyes bugged out. "Oh my god, yes. I was like, 'Really? Can we just make a simple meal?' And then fucking Manesh would come over and want to spend the entire time we hung out in the kitchen learning from my mom. She thought that was great. Mikey always wanted to challenge her and do it his way, but Manesh would listen to my mom and make it exactly how she said."

"And then Mikey would get pissed that he couldn't use the kitchen, so he'd come to my house and use ours," Cara said.

"None of my experiences with boys in high school involved kitchens," Tasha said. "More like back seats and behind the bleachers."

"You little slut," Cara said with mock censure.  
Tasha cracked up. "Yeah, that's me. A wanton woman."

"I mean, you are dating a male model," Heather said. "Clearly your pussy skills are better than mine."

"Yeah, because super hot deejay is such a step down," Cara said.

"Seriously, Heather, you have no room to complain," Tasha said.

Heather spread her hands. "Okay, true, Adam is totally hot. But he hasn't been here since Friday and I won't see him 'til Sunday. Ugh."

"So make ice sculptures while your pussy is on ice," said Cara.

"I am! It isn't helping." Heather play pouted.

"Judging by the entrance of Henrik, Rashmi, and Irena, I'm thinking Spin the Bottle is about to end your dry spell," Tasha said.

"Hell, yeah it is," said Henrik.

"Tongue party!" shouted Rashmi into the bigger part of the basement. "That should get them coming."

Tasha laughed. "I'm going to take my married ass out and leave room for the people who need a little lick-me-up pick-me-up."

Cara crossed her legs. "I'm fucking staying. Mikey was too busy cooking food to get me cooking, so now he's going to miss out."

"I haven't been kissed in a week," Heather said. "I need this."

"Later, Sleepers," Tasha said. She walked into the other room and found Nigel, Jocasta Baptiste, Cassie Redstone, and Brian Lu congregated. "Hey, it's the amazing band The Commonwealth, substituting Tommy with a loaning lesbian."

"Shit, yeeaaah I am the lesbian who loans," Cassie said, making a fake cheesy pose. "So wedding planning is the worst, Tash, am I right?"

Tasha grinned. "We only had seven weeks, so we didn't have time to stress out. It was spontaneous decision making for everything."

"Okay, well, that is definitely the smart way, because this dragging things out business is crazypants," said Cassie. "Roxy and I are about to tell our parents to stop trying to help. They are not actually helping. They are turning things into a wet, hot mess."

"As much of a wet, hot mess as your cunt?" Nigel asked.

Cassie glared at him. "You are a hater, Nige. I almost want you to taste my pussy so you can stop making fun of it."

Nigel made a nauseated face. "I am not eating out my lesbian best friend. That will never happen."

"So am I like best friend number two?" Brian asked. "I feel like I'm the spare best friend."

"It's okay, Bri. I don't even rank that high," Jocasta said.

After rolling his eyes, Nigel said, "You are all near and dear to my heart, alright?"

"Cheers, mate" said Brian in a fake British accent.

Jocasta started giggling. "How is it you're Australian and you can't do a decent British accent?"

"Dude! I was like three when I came over. Any accent I had died from playing with you losers." Brian huffed and crossed his arms.

Tasha grinned. "Your parents both kept their accents. You didn't pick it up from them?"

"Look, my only exposure to Australian culture as a child was watching Crocodile Dundee. I did not think that merited embracing my heritage."

"Try growing up in a house with reggae twenty-four seven when you're a rock girl," Jocasta said.

"Obviously Jah-Roh likes reggae as it's interwoven with his rap work," Tasha said. "But does Trinika?"

"Not really," said Jocasta. "She's obsessed with pop. She's going with Anisa to Detroit to see some re-formed boyband in a few weeks. I'm like, 'How are we related?'"

"She also likes dance," Nigel said. "So she's excited about Jasper North. Not as excited as I am, but hey, Brit boy has to love house."

"And pussy," said Cassie dryly.

"Dancing and giving head is the perfect night." Nigel grinned.

"You need to get a girlfriend, Nigel," Jocasta said.

"We can't all be engaged to our high school sweetheart," he shot back.

"Why would anyone want to be engaged to Tom?" Brian asked. "He doesn't speak."

"But he has that deep, gravelly voice when he does," Cassie said. "I mean, I like girl bits, but that voice makes me wet."

Jocasta looked totally alarmed. "Oh my god, Cassie. Do not talk about my fiancé making you wet."

Tasha started laughing a few minutes previously and couldn't stop. "But does my husband make you wet? Because come on, male model."

Cassie held up her hands. "Honest talk, I would switch for Rafael. I really would."

They all dissolved into laughter.

"What are you all laughing about?" asked Jenny Lu as she walked up with James.

"How hot Rafael is," Jocasta said.

"Legit hot," Jenny said.

"Babe," James said in a wounded voice. "What about me?"

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Obviously I like you better, for reasons I am sometimes unsure about. But you have to admit, you would switch for Rafael."

"Cassie would," Nigel said.

Cassie nodded.

James snorted. "I would not, actually. If I had a Sleeper homosexual hall pass, I'd go for Todd Voight. The muscles on that guy."

"Who knew you went for roidheads?" Cassie said.

"He doesn't take steroids," Tasha said. "That's all natural."

"So no shriveled dick?" asked Cassie.

Tasha laughed. "You'd have to ask Josey, but I would imagine not."

"Maybe I would switch for Todd, then," Cassie said.

"Let's just be honest here. You're really bisexual, and you would fuck anyone," Nigel said.

"I mean, anyone but you, but otherwise I think that's a legitimate claim," said Cassie.

Maybe the drink was making Tasha tacky, but she asked Cassie if she'd ever actually had sex with a man.

"No. You know, it's one of those things where I'm curious, but I don't think I could ever really do it. The lack of boobs just bothers me."

"If he's behind, you wouldn't see him," Jocasta pointed out.

"Girl, way too much information about your sex life," Brian said to Jocasta. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Cassie contemplated. "But then if he bent over I'd be feeling a hairy chest on my back, and no. Just... no. It's not a thing I want to do at this point in my life."

"I feel like it's a bucket list thing," Nigel said. "Like we're all going to be madly in love with our persons, and then in our sixties we'll all be bored as hell and start swinging."

"I'm pretty sure I would not sleep with any of you no matter how ancient I get," Jenny said.

"But would you sleep with Rafael then?" asked Tasha.

Jenny looked her up and down. "Depends. Would you scratch my eyes out or join in?"

Tasha laughed. "I've never had a threesome."

This declaration was met with guffaws and people declaring she hadn't lived.

"All of you have had threesomes?" she asked.

Jocasta raised her hand. "I haven't."

"Yes, we know. You're a one cock woman," said Nigel. "Really, Tasha, what you should do is a foursome with Rafael, Scout Thomason, and Zachary Wingrave-Astonby. In fact, that should have been your wedding night."

Cassie nodded emphatically. "Legit true."

"Even I can approve of that move," Brian said.

"I think Zachary was busy that night," Tasha said slyly.  
"Ooh, with who?" asked Jenny.

"Sarah Jones," Jocasta said. "I noticed them eye fucking each other."

"Why were you looking at Zachary Wingrave-Astonby when you're a one cock woman?" Jenny asked archly.

"Let's be real," said James, "Everyone looks at Zachary Wingrave-Astonby. The guy is stellar looking."

"So he's your real homosexual hall pass?" asked Tasha.

"Yes," said James, Brian, and Nigel.

"Cassie, hetero hall pass status for Zachary?" Tasha asked.

"All systems go," said Cassie.

"He's actually a really nice guy," Tasha said. "I feel like I can't objectify him now that I know him."

"Yeah, right. Like you never objectify Rafael?" Jenny scoffed.

Tasha wriggled under their scrutiny. "Okay, so maybe I painted a sequel to Sleeping Handsome where he was naked and awake."

"Awake?" asked Jenny. "Or like awake awake?" She gestured to her crotch.

Tasha bit her lip to keep from laughing when Rafael joined the circle.

"What are you all talking about?" he asked.

Tasha busted out laughing. "How they all want to fuck you and Zachary Wingrave-Astonby."

Nigel raised his hand. "And Scout Thomason."

Rafael barked in laughter. "Man, I love this town."

"So I'm curious, dude," Brian said to Raf. "You're super hot and everyone wants you, but who do you want? Who's your hall pass?"

Raf's brow furrowed for a minute, and then he cleared it. "Helen Mirren. I like classy older dames."

"That explains Ileana," Tasha said.

He grinned. "True. I can't wait 'til you have grey hair, xuxu. Such a turn on."

"You know, Tasha, I pegged you as someone who would dye their hair for years, but I see that assumption was mistaken," Jenny said.

"This is the first I've heard of his grey hair fetish," Tasha said after laughing. "But I guess I am going to have natural hair."

Raf grinned. "Best wife ever."

"Aww, thanks," she said. "Well, I need another drink. Being around such thirsty people has made me thirsty myself."

"Something tells me your mouth is getting plenty wet tonight," Jenny said.

Raf's smile turned wicked. "Part of her is, anyway."

"Take your hedonistic, babymaking lifestyle and leave," Nigel said. "I can't with you two right now. Some of us are single."

"Amen," said Brian.

Tasha shook her head and grabbed Raf's hand as they walked to the downstairs kitchen. Pouring herself a butterscotch apple plastic cup martini, she looked at Raf.

"Today is my last day of drinking, because I could get pregnant at any time. So don't be hurt if I get totally plowed tonight."

"That's fine," he said. "I can't wait to hear you singing the wrong lyrics to Christmas songs on the ride home."

"I do know the words to Christmas songs. Mostly. With 'The First Noel' I just sing 'Noel' over and over again."

"Never change," he said, looking completely serious.

She kissed him. "So are you sad Adam isn't here tonight?"

Raf shrugged. "Princess Peabrain is still being difficult about Sleepy Sands. She told Josh she wouldn't come up with him when the club opens. She doesn't think it fits her brand."

"What the fuck?" asked Tasha.

"She's a vlogger slash fashionista slash something. And Sleepy Sands isn't cool enough."

"Does she know you and Scout will be there opening night?"

He snorted. "When we went down in October and she realized she couldn't use me, she decided I'm worthless."

Tasha's face dropped. "Do you think Josh will ever figure out she's using him? Because that was painful to watch."

"I know. Sarah hates it. The one thing I'm sad about with them doing holidays down there is I don't get to see Sarah."

"Should I be jealous?" teased Tasha.

He leaned forward and rubbed his nose against hers. "Nah. Sarah would never put up with my bullshit, xuxu."

Tasha laughed. "I like her a lot. I'm glad she's moving up in February. I can't wait for the club to open. Though hopefully I won't be able to drink all these badass cocktails you're planning. Alcoholic smoothies? Who knew that could be a thing."

"They'll still be on the menu when you get done breastfeeding, so you can drink them then."

"I guess your little seahorse ways aren't capable of having the baby latch onto your nipple and squeeze it to death," she said scathingly.

Rafael cracked up. "I should totally get that outfit. Just to see the look on everyone's faces."

"Halloween next year for sure."

"That would be perfect. And then post pics on my Instagram so everyone can think I've lost my damn mind."

Grinning, Tasha imagined people's reactions to that costume. "I think I should dress as something completely different, yet equally weird."

His eyes lit up. "Yes. Like a panda."

"No way, full body furry costumes get super hot and stifling."

"Should I ask how you know this?" he asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Nothing kinky. I use to dress up for my little brother and sister's birthday parties."

"That's adorable," he said. "You're such a sweet person. I just want to take you home and impregnate you."

She laughed. "You want to do that anyway. But I am enjoying this butterscotch appletini, and I think I may want to get it on Spin the Bottle later."

"Apparently I have a fan club if I join." Raf shook his head and laughed.

"This date would go down in history as making the entirety of Sleepy Sands wet or hard."

He grinned. "You're making me want to go home now, xuxu."

But he waited patiently as she spent the party gossiping and drinking. Around one o'clock they joined a game of Spin the Bottle, though after Rafael kissed Henrik in front of the entire basement, everyone agreed they were way too turned on to be in public, and the party broke up. Tasha felt glad about that. Brazilian stallion meets Swedish dish? Yeah, she needed to go home and get laid, stat.

Later, as Raf and she nuzzled each other in the afterglow, Tasha sighed with happiness.

"You know, there are a few things I'm thankful for that I couldn't say in front of my mother," she said.

"Oh? What are they?"

"I'm thankful that you have a gigantic cock. I'm thankful that your cunnilingus skills are expert-level. And lastly, I'm thankful you have the ability to get me naked in twenty seconds thanks to your advanced model fast-change skills."

He grinned. "I did kind of feel that saying, 'I'm thankful for your daughter's sweet pussy' wouldn't be appropriate dinnertime conversation.'"

"Probably not. Though it's definitely good bedtime conversation, and there are no mothers around now."

Rafael winked. "Yet."

The End...

...mostly. If you are a fan of extra epilogues, you can read a Second Epilogue after the acknowledgments & author information. If not, you can skip the second epilogue and read the first few pages of Sleepy January, where Nigel meets a visitor that turns him upside down.

-A Dare in Words Novel-

###

### Acknowledgments

Thank you to my mom for helping to edit, and to Elizabeth and Peter for beta reading.

Thanks to all my friends and fellow writers who have offered wisdom and support.

Author Information

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### Chessela Helm Books

Sleepy Sands Series – Contemporary Romance

Sleepy Beginnings

Sleepy January

Runaround Series – Paranormal Romance

The Runaround: Finding the Faerie

Chasing the Angel

Paranormal Romance Standalones

Life and Then Love (Spicier and Milder Versions)

Chick Lit

Trust Bunnies

Other Dare in Words Books

www.dareinwords.com

Darinne Paciotti:

Hera Series - Mythological Urban Fantasy

Growing Up Godly

Read ahead for the Second Epilogue, and after that a sneak peek of Sleepy January

### Second Epilogue: Rafael

"Pee harder," Raf called to the other side of the bathroom door.

He could hear Tasha snicker. "Stop it. I can't hit the stick if I'm laughing."

He waited impatiently for her to finish so he could step inside to check the results together. Tasha did not like peeing in front of a human audience (Jonathan Swiftkitty was in there with her, though), so Raf had been a good hubby and hovered outside the door.

"Okay," she said. The water turned on and he walked in to see her washing her hands. When she finished she crossed her fingers. "Are we ready to look?"

"Let's do it." He looked down and whooped as he saw both tests show up as pregnant.

"Yay, Fetus!" Tasha exclaimed. "Grow and thrive, little one."

They hugged and kissed, and he spun her in a little circle. Jonathan Swiftkitty meowed with annoyance.

"She's my wife, Jonathan. You need to keep your furry butt out of it."

Tasha laughed. "Insecure much?"

He kissed her nose. "At least I didn't grab your ass and yell, 'Mine!'"

"That seems to work really well in romance novels."

"Yeah, but those guys shift into wolves and dragons and stuff. I just shift into a seahorse."

His woman laughed again. "I would totally read seahorse shifter novels."

He thought about it. "You know what? I would, too."

"Speaking of reading, how is Henrik's latest?"

Raf grinned. "I love it. I keep telling him he needs to spend more money on marketing and try to do it full-time, but he loves working as a contractor."

"I still have to fan myself when I think of you two kissing on Thanksgiving."

"He came to the pub for lunch Monday, and we started talking, and Trinika walked up and asked if we were going to kiss again. That is not the first time we've been asked that."

"Don't people in Brazil kiss each other to say hello?"

"On the cheek."

"Well, I think in Sweden they kiss on the mouth, so you'll want to adapt to his culture."

He laughed. "Good argument. Speaking of the pub, are we going to tell everyone tonight we're pregnant? Or should we wait?"

"I feel like it's the perfect New Year's Eve news. And everyone will want to know, because if something does go wrong, they're going to want to comfort us this time."

"It's not going to happen this time. This time we're good." He hoped that would be the truth.

She kissed him. "I hope so. No matter what happens, I want our friends and families involved in the process."

"I like that. Can we call mine now?"

They found all three of them at home, and Rafael shared their news. His family sounded relieved they'd been successful.

"I have faith this time everything will work out," said his mother.

"I hope so, Mãe. I talked to Cathy at the human resources consulting firm Wednesday, and everything is set up for you to become the nanny to Benjamin and Bhumika Draper in April. They only need you full-time until August, and then they'll switch to two days a week. Tasha and I will need you three days, so you won't have to watch both babies at the same time."

"That sounds wonderful, Rafinho. I look forward to meeting the Drapers and helping them with their little one."

"And everything is still on track for Gabriela and I?" his father asked.

"Anisa filed everything Friday, so we're just waiting for the approvals to come through," Raf said. "She feels pretty confident. The hard part is going to be the three of you staying at our house while your stuff is shipped on the boat."

"We're all going to grow very close," Gabs said sarcastically.

"I look forward to you being here, Gabs," Tasha said.

"You, too, sister. It's the smelly brother I'm not so sure about."

"He thinks you can move out at any time," Raf teased.

"Trust me, as soon as I can get my own apartment, I will. Living alone sounds perfect."

"It's not as much fun as living with a boyfriend," Tasha said in a sing-song voice.

Gabs laughed. "You need to stop trying to fix me up."

"Why not? I can't wait to introduce you to the best of what Sleepy Sands has to offer," Tasha said.

"I thought you married the best of what Sleepy Sands had to offer," Raf said in a mock outraged voice.

Tasha grinned. "I did, which means Gabriela needs to settle for whoever is left after that."

He leaned over and kissed her.

"Is that the sound of you two kissing?" Gabriela asked.

"Mind your own business, Gabs," said Raf.

"I am, actually. I'm going out with friends to celebrate New Year's Eve. So I will talk to you later."

Tasha and Rafael said goodbye to her, but kept talking to his parents for another half hour. Finally they ended their conversation, then called Tasha's parents. Janine and Don seemed as thrilled as Raf's parents. Everyone wanted the best for Tasha and Raf, and he loved that he had so many people who cared.

After hanging up with Don, Raf texted Scout and Kaya to come over. They showed up half an hour later with a gallon of blue moon ice cream, claiming they couldn't get enough of the stuff. Raf agreed that the Midwest had really hit it out of the park with that flavor, but he didn't really crave ice cream before noon. When everyone else put scoops in their bowls, he decided to just do as the Romans did and eat some, too.

"I got invited to three killer New Year's Eve parties with top celebrities," Scout said, "but they didn't have my best friend or blue moon ice cream, so fuck 'em."

"And the parties in New York don't have Sleeping Beer," Tasha said.

"That stuff is the beer version of crack," Scout said. "Can I have one?"

Raf got up and pulled out a bottle of pale ale for Scout. "Do you want one, Kaya?"

"Can I have some of Tasha's delicious cider?"

He got that and handed over the bottles. A second cider he popped open and drank from. "So Tasha definitely can't have this, because I knocked her up again."

"Yiieeaah," squealed Kaya. "Totally awesome. And we have some news on that front, too. Scout and I decided if we're going to have kids, which was always the long term plan, that should happen soon. So starting tomorrow, the birth control pills go in the trash."

Scout grinned at Raf. "We're gonna have babies together, bro!"

"Hell yeah," Raf said. "Will that affect your modeling schedule?"

"I'll limit the international shoots and shows to five days out of every month. And I won't travel much to other places around the States."

"Nice. Will you still plan on coming out here a few times a year?" asked Raf.

"I talked to Zach about that, and he wants us to Skype him today," Kaya said.

She pulled out her laptop and set it up. Zach answered right away, and he must have been doing family bonding time, because his cousin Onyx Wingrave-Fielder, super famous actor extraordinaire, sat right beside him. Tasha and Kaya's jaws both dropped.

"Hey, you grrls," Zach said. After meeting Jonni at the wedding he'd picked her up habit of using 'you grrls' instead of 'you guys.' "What's with the open mouths, ladies? I'm wearing a shirt, so I'm guessing that's an Onyx thing?"

Onyx waved. "Hey."

"Huge fan," Raf said.

"Thanks, man," said Onyx.

"You know I almost went to the New Year's Eve party that touted you'd be there, but this is way better," Scout said.

Onyx grinned. "Yeah, I'll probably go for one drink and then bounce. All of the American Wingrave cousins and a few of the British ones descended on New York this weekend, so we're going to party the rest of the night in Zach's apartment."

"That much fame and money and good lookingness in one room?" Kaya asked. "That's a romance novel waiting to happen."

"I'll feel like I'll have made it when someone wants to put me on the cover of a romance novel," Onyx joked. "No one asks. I'm like, c'mon, I'd totally do it."

"They used to ask me all the time," Zach said. "But my agent wouldn't let me. And now I'm too busy to read the novels to see if they're worth posing for."

"Can that be part of my job now?" Kaya asked. "Screening romance novels for you to do cover spreads for?"

"You can do it for me," Onyx said brightly.

Kaya's jaw hovered at the open mark again. Raf silently laughed. Kaya had worked for Zach for three years now, you'd think she'd be used to his famous relations. But apparently she'd never met Onyx. Looking at Tasha, Raf saw her mouth was in that cute little 'o' shape he loved so much.

Zach rolled his eyes. "Listen, I don't want to take too long because the girls are on their way, and if I don't devote all of my attention to my cousin Jessica, heads will roll. Kaya, you were asking about working remotely so you could spend more time in Sleepy Sands.

"As you are aware, but the rest of you may not be, we have outgrown my New York office, which means I need somewhere else to have most of our operations staff. I also really want an American factory, because I believe in providing opportunities to people who want to work in the clothing sector in this country. So in looking at places that have fairly low rent and housing costs plus a high number of people in the state looking for jobs, Michigan looks pretty damn good. Having been to Sleepy Sands, and knowing that you want to be there, Kaya, I've made the decision to open our main office, factory, and a photography studio in Sleepy Sands.

"I'll fly out in late January to look at locations and get the ball rolling. For Kaya, that means you can do shoots in NYC or Sleepy Sands, depending on what you want. I'll still mostly work in New York, but I'll come out regularly. Raf, this means I still want to use you as a model and a photographer, and you won't have to fly away from any future babies to do it. Does everyone like this plan?"

Kaya and Scout looked thrilled, but Tasha seemed starstruck.

Raf cocked his head. "Be honest, Zach, how much does this have to do with Sarah Jones's pussy?"

Zach threw back his head and laughed. Onyx looked at everyone blankly.

"Who's Sarah Jones?" Onyx asked.

"Sex on a stick," answered Zach. "Sadly, Sarah and I realized we didn't have compatible ideas of forever, but I'm not going to lie and say the fact that we can have lots of booty calls wasn't a major motivation."

"This chick must be super hot, dude," Onyx said. "Like, prettier than these two lovely ladies?" He gestured to Kaya and Tasha.

Zach eyed everyone warily. "I feel like that's not going to be a good question for me to answer."

"Sarah's totally hot," Tasha said. "I have a girl crush on her."

Onyx grinned wickedly. "Yeah? If you decide to do anything about it, can I watch?"

Tasha turned bright red and her mouth returned to her little 'o.'

Raf wanted to laugh, but he felt like he should rein Onyx in. "Stop hitting on my wife, man."

Onyx held up his arms. "Sorry, dude. Didn't mean to overstep. There's just so much hotness on this screen I'm a little overcome."

That did make Rafael laugh. "Fair enough. Hey, any chance you want to come out here for our dance club opening in February and make us world famous with one photo? Zach's coming."

"Can I dance with your wife?" Onyx asked cheekily.

Tasha laughed. "You should ask me, not him."

"Will you dance with me, sweet thang?" he asked.

She fanned herself. "If I can handle it."

Raf shook his head. "Get the details from Zach if you decide to do it. If you have any other famous friends and relatives you want to bring out, it would definitely boost our reputation."

Onyx looked at Zach. "I feel like this club opening should be the Wingrave Cousin Extravaganza, Part Two."

Zach shrugged. "I'm down. Make sure there are hot single guys for Jessica to dance with, and we're all good. Speaking of Jess, I hear the doorbell. Later, Sleepy Sands friends."

"Later," echoed Tasha, Scout, Kaya, and Raf.

Kaya pushed the screen down and looked at Scout. "How do you feel about March to August in Sleepy Sands?"

Scout grinned. "I'm totally down with that."

"Really?" Raf asked, getting excited.

"Yeah, this place is like the beer, it's total crack," Scout said. "You come and you're like, 'But I want to be here all the time.'"

"You two are always welcome," Tasha said.

Kaya leveled a glare at Tasha. "Really? Because last time I checked, I was supposed to be your girl crush, and now you're saying Sarah is."

Tasha laughed. "You're equally my girl crushes."

Kaya sighed. "I guess I can live with that."

Raf looked at Tasha. "Are you really going to dance with Onyx Wingrave-Fielder?"

"On a scale of one to yeah, that's a hell yeah," she said.

He laughed. "Fair enough."

"But don't worry, gatinho, I won't invite him to play Spin the Bottle."

"I keep hearing about Spin the Bottle. Are we going to play tonight?" Scout asked.

"Nah," said Rafael. "It's a house party thing, not a pub thing."

"But, like, everyone in Sleepy Sands is super hot and I want to kiss them," his best friend said.

Tasha grinned wickedly. "Who's the hottest guy?"

Scout thought about it. "Adam, definitely. You ladies want to bang his sister, but I want the Alpha older brother."

Kaya laughed so hard she practically fell out of her chair. "How is it you claim you've never read one of my romance novels, but you know what an Alpha is like?"

"I hear things," Scout said defensively.

"Raf reads mine," Tasha bragged.

Rafael grinned and nodded. "My favorite ones are the seahorse shifters."

Kaya looked confused. "I've never even heard of a seahorse shifter book."

"Oh, lord," Tasha said. "I'm legitimately considering writing one just to shut him up."

"Shifters who carry their own babies are totally hot," Raf said with his best serious face.

"The fuck?" asked Kaya.

Tasha rolled her eyes. "Don't encourage him. It's an inside joke that's gone horribly, horribly wrong."

Raf grinned and launched into an impassioned defense of seahorse shifters, and why he should be able to dress like one in their newborn photos. Tasha started shaking her head, and by the end of his speech he thought she might actually send him back to NYC. Scout and Kaya, meanwhile, were dying laughing.

Damn, he loved these people, and he loved this town. They had a pretty kickass day making each other laugh.

After dinner at Le Sable they headed to the pub and grabbed a table for eight. Adam, Mikey, Cara and Heather joined them and caught up with Scout and Kaya.

"So we have news," Tasha said to the newcomers. "I peed on a stick today, and there will be a gigantic stick figure coming out of my uterus in nine months, if all goes well."

They cheered, which got a few people from other tables glancing over, but not that many. Apparently cheering at the pub on New Year's Eve was par for the course.

"I almost wish we could start now, too," Cara said. "But I've been dreaming of my wedding since I was a little girl, and I want it to be perfect. With a non-maternity dress and me not being exhausted and needing to pee every five minutes."

"It will be the perfect wedding, I promise," Mikey said.

Cara seemed to melt. "Love you, babe."

"As Rafael would say, te amo," said Mikey.

"Speaking in other languages is hot," Cara said. "You should totally spend more time learning words from Rafael."

Raf grinned. "Glad you can exploit my cultural identity for your own sexual gratification."

"Oh, fuck," Cara said, looking disappointed. "I totally just white personed, didn't I?"

"Is white personing a thing?" Tasha asked.

"I feel like it's something that involves mayonnaise," said Adam.

"Speaking of mayonnaise, I marinated burgers the other day for our Flannigan family meal, and my father put fucking mayonnaise on his," Mikey said.

"He didn't know you marinated them in fancy sauce," Heather said, rolling her eyes.

"Fancy sauce?" Mikey asked incredulously. "I'm surrounded by heathens."

Raf bit his lip, and then made the mistake of looking at Adam, who was shaking from silent laughter. They both busted out.

"You know what?" Mikey said to them. "No more homemade meals for you two."

Kaya raised her hand. "I didn't laugh. Do I get homemade meals?"

Scout nodded. "Same."

Mikey grinned at them. "Of course. Come over to Old Sands Inn tomorrow for dinner."

"Boo yeah," said Scout, pumping his fist.

Raf nearly spit up his drink.

"Sometimes I can't believe I'm friends with any of you," said Cara.

"Alright, come on, let's focus on the holiday," Heather said. "New Year's wishes. What do you most want this year?"

"To fall in love," Adam said. "No offense to you, Heather."

"None taken, because that was also my wish," she said.

"So, wait, are you two together or not together?" Kaya asked.

"We're friends with benefits," said Heather. "We have a lot of fun, but it isn't the real thing."

"Exactly," Adam said. "We've had a great time together this year, but I'm hoping a new year brings new chances to meet our forever persons."

"You make it sound like you're shelter dogs," Scout said. "Your forever persons? That's the person that makes your food and puts you on a leash, dude."

Adam laughed. "Hey, you never know, I might be looking for that in a woman."

Scout barked a laugh. "True facts, bro. Well, my biggest wish is that Kaya and I can get seahorsed up and have a baby to grow up with Raf and Tasha's."

"Seahorsed up?" Heather looked confused.

"You do not want to know," Tasha said. "We are not, as a group, ever going to start referring to being pregnant as 'seahorsed up.'"

"Whoa, that's a very unilateral decision for a diverse group of people," Scout said. "Raf, are you with me? Are we doing this?"

"Seahorsed up is totally a thing," Raf said. "Even more so than white personing, in fact."

"The amount of bullshit at this table just grows exponentially," Cara said, shaking her head.

"Hey, you're the one who started white personing," Kaya pointed out. "If Scout and Raf want to start using a phrase that is undoubtedly the stupidest thing they have ever said, I say let them."

"I get it, though," Mikey said. "Male seahorses are the ones that carry the babies. So it's like, owning that we're a part of the pregnancy process."

"Try giving birth through a small hole in your body and then talk to me about togetherness," Tasha said.

"I would if I could," Rafael said earnestly. "That's what the seahorse movement is all about."

Tasha started laughing so hard she shook. "Oh my god, I actually married you."

Raf laughed, too. "Worse mistake ever, xuxu?"

"No, pure brilliance, gatinho," Tasha said.

"You two are too cute," Kaya said. "So what are the young lovers' New Year's wishes?"

"To have a healthy pregnancy," Tasha said.

Rafael nodded. "For mother and baby. That's all I care about. What's yours, Kaya?"

"I'm actually going to throw us for a loop and say something not related to love and babies. I wish Zach can build his office by May so I can spend the summer with you assholes."

"Zach who?" Heather asked.

"Zachary Wingrave-Fielder is opening an office, factory, and photography space in Sleepy Sands this year," Tasha said excitedly.  
"And that means the two of us can hang out with the six of you, like, way more often," Scout said.

"Couldn't be happier," Adam said. "You two are the shit."

"Thanks," said Kaya. "And by the way, Scout here totally named you as his Sleepy Sands man crush."

Adam laughed. "I'm flattered, man. Do you think if I kissed you in public people would shut up about Rafael and Henrik?"

Scout appeared to think about it.

"Never," said Tasha. "It would just be another memory for the spank bank."

"Is there a female version of a spank bank?" Scout asked, clearly distracted.

"So we've though about this a lot," Cara said. "And Heather, Tasha and I decided that spank bank refers to visual images. Either pictures or videos of a titillation nature. Then for written or verbal descriptions of a sexual nature, they're clit lit. That way both terms can be unisex."

"That's genius," said Kaya. "I'm no longer telling people I read romance books. I'm saying I read clit lit."

"And I'm saying I need to watch Adam kissing some other guy. I just realized that's better than experiencing it myself," Scout said.

Everyone nodded.

"We'll figure that out after group share time. Cara, Mikey, what are your New Year's wishes?" Heather asked.

"Perfect wedding," said Cara instantly.

Mikey smiled indulgently. "I'm going to bring us back to baby talk, then, and say my wish is to be on the way toward becoming a father."

"I should tell Nige I'm pregnant," Tasha said. "He's working the bar tonight as a favor to his parents."

"Wait, what?" Kaya asked, looking at Rafael. "Aren't you the one who actually works here?"

Raf spread his hands. "It's not my day to work, and Emma and Frank wanted me to have a fun night. Since I quit the bar in Benzonia, I can do whatever the hell I want on Saturday nights until Jasper North opens."

"That's right. You said your photography business had taken off so much you didn't need the bar job anymore," said Kaya.

Rafael nodded happily. He'd started doing photography shoots Friday and Saturday, and now he was booked through the middle of February. People around the world had heard about his shoots and made appointments. If he wanted to, he could make it a full time thing. But he really wanted the camaraderie of working at Jasper North, too.

"I'm going to go see Nigel for a few." Tasha headed to the other room. The group chatted until she came back in with a glowing face.

"You won't believe it!" she said. "I walked over there, and right when I got to the bar, I saw Nigel with his eyes about to pop out of his head, staring at a friend of Cassie's. She must be in town for the wedding. I decided not to interrupt him, because he needs a good girl, and she had this really sunny smile."

Raf grinned. He hoped Nigel got the girl, even if it was only for a few days. The guy had been nothing but supportive of Tasha, and he deserved his own happily ever after.

A chorus of hellos broke out as Tommy Flannigan, Tom Walker, and Henrik came up to the table.

"So I feel like there should be a kiss redo, because I didn't get to see the first one," Scout said.

Henrik shook his head. "I'm just not feeling like scruff in my face tonight. Maybe it's your turn to fuel everyone's homoerotic fantasies, Scout."

Kaya nodded. "I'm all about this plan."

"Well, I've already said I'm not kissing Adam because I want to see him get his man-kiss on, so who should I kiss?" asked Scout.

"Billy Hermosa," Cara decided. "Because Scout needs to make Rafael jealous with another Latino lover."

Scout's eyes lit up. "I like this plan. I don't remember meeting Billy. Was he at the wedding?"

"He couldn't come because he was coaching a game a few hours away," Tasha said. "But he's in the other room with Brian and the girls. I'll grab him."

"Wait, wait, wait," Adam said. "If this is going to become Sleepy Sands legend, I think it needs to happen in the main area of the pub rather than the back room."

"Good call," said Cara, who then turned to shout. "Hey, back roomers! Let's go out to the main area and watch Scout Thomason kiss Billy Hermosa."

The mass exodus of people into the main room suggested this would in fact become Sleepy Sands legend, and when Rafael saw Scout and Billy say hello and then shake hands, he knew it would be totally worth the hype.

Scout hesitated for a moment, but Billy had been through enough Spin the Bottle sessions to have zero qualms about kissing people in public, so he leaned in, grabbed Scout's neck, and brought their lips together, practically mashing their faces to each other, and opening his jaw for some serious Frenching. As a model, Scout had kissed people for publicity before, so he committed a hundred percent to Billy's lead.

As he pulled away, Scout said loudly, "That was totally hot. Am I sporting wood?"

The room erupted in cheers and whistles.

Billy looked at Henrik and smirked. "Guess you're not the only one who's kissed a male model."

The watching party broke up and people went back to their seats. Tasha leaned over to Raf and whispered in his ear.

"I'm so wet right now."

He grinned. "I may or may not be at half chub."

"Maybe you can finger me under the table."

Mmm, he loved his wife. But there weren't any tablecloths, and he didn't feel like letting anyone else see her O face (as opposed to her 'o' face, which anyone who had ever met her had seen).

They spent the remainder of the night having entirely too much fun, being way too loud, and then blatantly eavesdropping when Nigel joined Cassie and her friends in the back room. At two Frank Underhill came around calling, "There's no rule about you going to your house, but Em and I want to go to ours, so get out. Out, out."

Raf grinned at his boss and wished him a happy new year.

Frank put his hand on Raf's shoulder. "You, too. I'm so glad you decided to work for us, and when Jasper North opens, you need to stop by the pub once a week so we don't miss you too much."

"I will," Raf promised.

"Let's go home," Tasha said when Frank moved on. "We need to have sexy sex before I fall asleep."

Raf took his lady home, and not surprisingly, she sang along to the stereo the entire way. What did surprise him was that she actually got some of the words right.

When they went inside they took a few minutes for the animals. Ileana, Shelby and Jonathan Swiftkitty didn't require much bonding, but their new dog, Fighter, did. Fighter was a Doberman mix that had been bought to guard an actual dump. He'd spent a lot of time around stray cats and dogs, and apparently his inability to chase any of them away made his owners decide he'd failed his duties as a guard dog.

At least the owners had turned him in to a shelter. When the animal society picked him up before Christmas they put him in the shelter because he made the other dogs happy. Tasha and Rafael met him while they volunteered at the shelter on Christmas Eve. No one adopted Fighter during the day, so half an hour before closing Tasha and Raf decided he belonged to their family.

They ended up taking Fighter and Shelby with them that evening to the retirement and nursing home, where they spent a few hours chatting with folks who didn't have family around for the holidays. The dogs brightened everyone's day, and back at home he fit in perfectly with their little family.

Tasha gave Fighter a second hug before standing up. "Come on, Team Yancey-Santos. It's time for us to hit the sack."

Raf felt his lips curl up. "I love that you took my name, xuxu."

"I love that you took mine. I don't think your parents understand, but it's a stellar move in America."

"Who wouldn't want to be a Yancey-Santos?"

"This girl wanted it." Tasha pointed both thumbs to herself and walked upstairs. He followed with the rest of the gang coming in behind.

Raf whipped off his shirt as soon as he reached the bedroom, tossing it near the dresser and walking up to Tash. He slipped her velvet jacket off, then took her shiny string shirt off more carefully. He didn't quite understand how it worked, but he managed to get it off of her while she unbuckled his belt and jeans. They both kicked their shoes off, then she disposed of her own jeans and placed his hand on her bare breast. He squeezed gently, thumbing her nipple.

Leaning down, he licked that nipple before switching to the other one, lavishing attention on them both. He felt her removing his boxer briefs and looked down to see her panties gone, too.

"I think I need to eat you up," he said.

"I'll be your dessert any time."

She got on the bed and spread her legs. Raf sank to his knees, sniffing her.

"Love the smell of you wet and ready," he said.

"I'm going to start fingering myself if you don't get that tongue in there."

Raf grinned. A tad overexcited, eh? He'd like to think that was all him, but he had a feeling Onyx Wingrave-Fielder asking her to dance and Scout and Billy tongue fucking had made the day a little extra.

Using his tongue in all her favorite ways, he licked, sucked, and fucked her until she tensed up and shouted. As she melted afterward he lapped up more of her cream. His woman tasted like paradise.

He'd eaten at top rated restaurants all around the world, and he could honestly say his two favorite things to eat were Tasha's pussy and Kate Lapour's French onion soup at Le Sable (either the vegetarian to-go version with potatoes, or the dine in beef broth version with white, yellow, and red onions). His mother's shrimp with tucupi dish rated pretty highly, but his idea of comfort food now centered around dishes he could eat in Sleepy Sands, with Tasha's pussy being the most readily available, as well as the least expensive.

"I need you in me now," she said, lifting herself on one elbow to grab at him with her other arm.

Raf lined his rock hard cock up with her cona, then entered slowly, teasing her a few times by pulling back before he seated himself fully. She felt tight and hot, and his hips immediately started moving so he could feel her body sliding along his length. Digging his fingers into her hips, he thrust with a purpose, slowly gaining speed and power as he sent both of them toward satisfaction.

Tasha moaned, and he leaned over to suck her beautiful breast. She wrapped both hands around his head, threading her fingers through his hair and arching her back. That made him push even harder, working her into a frenzy as he filled her body with his own. She did some work of her own, alternating vaginal squeezes with fingernails on his scalp.

"Yes! Raf! Yes!" Tasha called out, peaking, her muscles going into overdrive and triggering his own orgasm. As she drained him dry he shouted "Tashinha!" With rubbery legs, he managed to pull out, then sank to the floor to catch his breath.

"Gets better every time," she said languidly.

"I'm a little disappointed you didn't scream, 'Make my pussy spasm, fucktoy!' this time."

She laughed. "I do not believe that ever happened. I think you're making that up."

He grinned. "Okay, to be fair, you said that during a sex dream rather than actual sex, but you definitely said it."

"Was the dream about you?"

"You didn't name names, unfortunately. There could be other fucktoys in your subconscious orgy pile."

"So apparently everyone but Jocasta has had a threesome," she said in a hopeful voice.

"No," he said firmly.

"But it's Onyx Wingrave-Fielder."

"No."

"Aww, c'mon. You've had threesomes before."

"Still no."

"Why not?"

He sighed. "Tashinha, você é o amor da minha vida. You are the love of my life. Please stop asking me to share you when my heart actually hurts to think of another man touching you."

"Oh, that's actually really romantic," she said perkily.

He chuckled. "I'm glad you think so, xuxu. I don't mean to be possessive, but if he does anything more than dance with you, I'll punch him in his perfect nose."

"It's totally perfect, right? Like almost creepily perfect."

"He is a very beautiful man," Raf said gravely.

"I'm just not allowed to play with him."

"That's right."

"I guess I can live with that."

He wrapped his hand around her ankle. "You guess?"

"What are you going to do if I don't behave?" Her voice sounded sultrier than usual.

"Considering the fact that I can't work up the energy to even get on the bed, probably nothing."

Tasha laughed, then slid her legs up and turned so her arms came around him. "Come on, gatinho. Time for bed, big guy."

Between the two of them he managed to get on the mattress, and they sort of wiggled their way up until their heads hit the pillows.

"Te amo, xuxu," he said.

"Love you, fucktoy."

He grinned. "Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me, Tasha Yancey."

"Ditto. You'll always be my seahorse, Rafael Santos."

Snuggling down into the pillow, he held his beautiful wife and made his New Year's resolution: to spend every day this year – no, every day for the rest of his life – worshipping his beloved Tashinha.

The End

Turn the page to read about the next couple in Sleepy Sands.

### Excerpt from Sleepy January

Nigel Underhill did not want to be working on New Year's Eve. He'd rather be throwing back drinks than behind the bar at his parents' pub serving them. Unfortunately, even with the two regular Saturday night bartenders, his parents knew they'd need a third liquor-slinging expert. They didn't ask a lot from Nigel, so he never complained about bartending a couple nights a year. Undoubtedly his friends' conversations would focus on what they did this year (which he already saw), and their plans for next year (which he'd get to see). Unless something gossip-worthy happened that morning, Nigel probably didn't have to worry about Fear of Missing Out when it came to the evening's chatter.

Handing off a whiskey sour to the mayor of Michigan's finest town, Sleepy Sands, Nigel turned to take his friend's order.

"I need a pale ale," said Brian.

"Wanker," Nigel said cheerily. He pulled the pint and handed off.

"You putting that on my tab?"

"You can afford a tab?"

"Funny," Brian said. "I think your website might crash tomorrow. You might want to be nicer to your developer."

Nigel snorted. "I'd be lost without you, Bri. Now go away so I can serve someone else."

Brian snickered and headed off to join their friends. No one stepped in front of Nigel, and he noticed a situation down at the end. An out-of-towner had started talking to Patience 'Wild Child' Brimmer.

"It's a great place to live," she said as Nigel approached.

The man noticed Nigel and smiled at her. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"I'll have a vodka and cranberry juice." Patience gave the man a winning smile.

"Very funny, Patience," Nigel said. "You need to leave in fifteen minutes." In Michigan anyone under eighteen wasn't allowed in bars after nine o'clock. Nigel turned to the man. "She's seventeen."

The man choked on the sip he'd just taken.

Patience glared at Nigel. "Is the world really going to end if I have a drink on the biggest party day of the year?"

Nigel rolled his eyes. "If someone reported us to the Liquor Control Commission, we'd lose our license, so yeah, it would be the end of our world. Think about someone other than yourself sometimes. It's called growing up."

"Fine. I'm leaving," she said.

After going to her friends' booth, she put on her coat and said a few words before leaving the pub. Nigel felt relieved they didn't have to kick her out. No one wanted teenager drama on New Year's Eve. The man Patience had been talking to scanned the room, clearly searching for a legally aged hookup.

The door to the pub opened and Nigel's best friend Cassie walked in with her fiancée, Roxanne, and two strangers likely here for the wedding. One Nigel glossed over, but the second girl made time stop. Surely she had to be the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. A brunette with wavy hair and big lips kinked into a smile, her blue eyes could be appreciated from across the room. As she laughed he felt a little dizzy. She sounded like her heart had soaked up too much love, and she needed to expel some of it by laughing.

The four women walked up to him. On closer inspection, his beautiful enchantress's eyes looked like the sky after a storm. He had always imagined grey-tinged eyes made a person appear dull or melancholy, but this girl radiated vitality. Consider him totally smitten. Feeling pulled toward her with an intensity completely out of character for him, he wondered if he'd have to return his 'Most Laid Back Dude' award. Surely this girl would be gone in a week, and he'd have to get over this overwhelming lust, but for now he wanted to appreciate the tingles she inspired.

"Ten a.m. tomorrow, Old Sands Inn," Cassie said by way of greeting.

"Sorry?" asked Nigel, still wowed by her friend.

"Breakfast. You know? A meal you eat?" Cassie lifted an eyebrow.

"Right, yeah. I can do that," he said. "Are you going to introduce me to your friends, or am I only the bartender tonight?"

"You're never just the bartender, Mr. Brittypants," Cassie said. "This is Starling Everly and Diana Morrison. Starling, Diana, this is my best friend, and one of the groomsmen, Nigel E. Underhill."

Starling, the girl he was enamored with, cocked an eyebrow. "What does the E stand for?"

"It doesn't. That's not my middle name. Cassie just likes to be a prat."

Starling looked delighted. "Authentic British accent and insults. I love this pub."

"We love people who love it," said Nigel.

She grinned. "You must love a lot of people."

"I have a big heart. What do you want to drink, Starling Everly?" "Something girly. Do you have a cocktail menu?"

Nigel handed one to her.

"I'll have your brown ale," Roxanne said while Starling and Diana browsed.

"You, Cassie?" he asked.

"I don't know. I think I might have something girly, too. After all, I'm getting married in a week."

"You think about that, and I'll get Roxy her beer," said Nigel.

When he came back with the ale, the other three looked ready.

"I'll have the Dune Climb," Starling said. The pub's specialty cocktails had been named after nearby outdoor destinations.

"I'd like the Empire Bluff," said Diana.

"And I'll have a cherry martini," Cassie finished.

"Give me a minute, ladies, and I'll get those ready."

Nigel turned away and mixed the drinks, making Starling's first. After all, she ordered first. Hopefully her excited smile when he handed her the drink meant she appreciated him as well as the drink. Having just met her, he had no idea how to read her body language, but if she absolutely didn't like him, she wouldn't have smiled. Still, he didn't know if that had been friend smiling or flirt smiling.

"We'll be at a table," Cassie said when she received her martini. "So when you get a break, come over."

"Won't be for a while." Nigel sighed.

"We're not going anywhere," she said.

Nigel felt a little wistful as they walked away. He'd been looking at a total knockout, and now he found himself among people he saw all the time.
