

Stepping Up

by Tori Skies at Smashwords

Copyright Janurary 2019 Tori Skies

Smashwords Edition, License Notes (Note: if you copy and paste this into your manuscript, be sure to remove the paragraph returns that may appear at the end of each line) This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

"You don't know what you've got until you lost it!"

It was then I decided what I wanted to do the rest of my life. It was then I decided my future. I knew it before I could do it. Before I even knew what it meant. The first time I saw it I told them. I told them all. I said as a little girl, at 3 years old, "Mommy, Daddy, I want to play baseball"

For Mom, Dad, Aaron and Felix

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Leather Shoe or Mitt

Chapter 2: Nerds Don't Play Baseball

Chapter 3: Defender of the Bus

Chapter 4: The Daven

Chapter 5: The Secret Dream

Chapter 6: Bad Day are Made of This

Chapter 7: The Race

Chapter 8: What is Normal?

Chapter 9: Bad News Bears

Chapter 10: I Hate Surprises

Chapter 11: Robe Girl Has Attitude

Chapter 12: The Mission

Chapter 13: The Pops

Chapter 14: Keep your Fake Friends Close

Chapter 15: Daven's Favorite Student

Chapter 16: Lies with the Side of Pizza

Chapter 17: The Special Guest

Chapter 18: The Unread Note

Chapter 19: Detention Does Not Suck For Everybody

Chapter 20: When You're Right, You're Wrong

Chapter 21: Left Out in the Heat

Chapter 22: You Don't Always Get What You Want

Chapter 23: Dance, Dance

Chapter 24: The Truth Lies in the Toilet

Chapter 25: Mrs. Riley and Other Spiraling Thoughts

Chapter 26: The Monster Within

Chapter 27: Heartbreaks and Apologies

Chapter 28: Let her Play

Chapter 29: Party of Four

About the Author

Connect with Me

Chapter 1: Leather Shoe or Mitt?

"MOM!! Where's my baseball mitt? The guys are going to be here in less then five minutes! Last time I de-layed them, they almost left without me...Mom are you even listening to me?" My voice escalated out of my room, passing the bathroom (which had the slight smell of vanilla) and stomped its way down the stairs, streaming through my mother's ears.

Hello, Mom, mitt crisis over here!

My baseball team was already on their way and if I didn't find my stinkin' mitt in like...the next millisecond...I would be forced to play with my bare hands! And last time that happened, my fingers almost snapped off and ran for their lives!

I quickly shoved my skinny body in the small space under my bed. Ugh! There was nothing except dirty socks and left over tuna casserole! By the way for future reference, I hate tuna casserole! Trust me, you would vow never to eat that mutation of a food it you saw it walking out of the refrigerator waving a Pirate flag.

Every time I needed something it seemed to disappear as if it was hiding from me, scared to come out. Okay, it was only one time that I accidently left my Game Boy Advanced in the street and a car skidded over it, scattering all the little pieces in the road like computer throw up. On second thought, maybe there was a reason for all my possession to hide from me.

"MOM!" I shouted so loud that spit shot out of my mouth to the other side of the room! I popped my head out from under the bed. "Mom, are you listening?"

Where could it be? I was running out of time!

"Yes honey! You can go to movies. But don't stay out too late because I'm making dinner earlier then usual, and..." she started, her words sneaking out with no emotion as if someone decided to send a blank e-mail, the page just a blinking cursor.

She probably was watching T.V again like she always did every night. All she cared about was her stupid shows! How could she only care about her shows when my mitt has gone on a mini vacation to I-don't-know-island and won't be back to who-knows-when!

It was a good thing my dad wasn't home. He was the total opposite of my mom! He cared too much and always invaded my personal life. He never wanted me to play baseball in the first place. He said that it wasn't NORMAL for any girl. Who knew anything about being normal these days? Sound the alert! The normal police are after me and my non-normalness. You'll never catch me coppers!

"Mom what are you talking about?" I tried to control the sigh that was attempting to break out. "I said where is my baseball mitt that I will be practicing with at the baseball park down the street with the guys on my baseball team?"

My face heated up. How much clearer could I get? Well if my mother was not going to listen to my mitt emergency I might as well say whatever I wanted. "My best friend is a chicken nugget!"

"Honey if you have anymore problems going to the bathroom you let me know right away. This is a serious problem. Okay?" Told you she wouldn't listen. Shows how much she cared about her only child, and daughter!

"Never mind!" I mumbled, stomping out of my room as I skidding my toes through the carpet threads. I had no idea where my mitt was and the guys were going to be here any minute!

Thanks for your help Mom! You really know how to handle things! You're the Queen of Handle-ness, ruling over the insane citizens of Handle-namia. Don't doubt my knowledge. It's a real country and if you don't believe me, look it up!

I raced down the stairs almost tripping over myself, and went straight to the garage. Maybe I left it there after the last time I had baseball practice? I mean the last time I had practice was yesterday, so how far could it have really gone?

Don't answer that...

My hand skimmed the golden knob of the garage door just as the doorbell rang, screeching like an ambulance racing through the streets, it's sirens whining. My hand gripped the knob harder, whipping it open as my body shot through.

I flicked on the dim light, the cold atmosphere of the garage quickly sucking me in. I was raiding the garage looking for my mitt like someone would when trying to find the last bit of chocolate cake in the fridge and in my case the last chocolate cake that I would ever taste because if I didn't get out there soon, the guys were going to be really ticked. And not your average ticked. Like a giant baby who lost his giant mother in the world of giant people, ticked.

I touched something cold and what felt like smooth leather, and snatched it from a shelf. I couldn't make out what the object was but it was my only hope because the doorbell whined again, and I was running out of the garage with my breath sagging into my throat.

I rushed to the front of the house, my arm straining as I opened the front door unsurprised to see about eight guys waiting impatiently. Hands were gripped to baseball bats, mitts hung off fingertips, and caps with baseball teams shaded eyes covering matted hair that looked like it hadn't been washed this week.

The guys always came dressed like this to practice. Ever since 4th grade we would all walk to the baseball field together. It was the same routine every week. But what they usually didn't do was laugh at me. Why were they laughing at me? I mean, I knew I was a girl playing baseball, but I thought they were over that a long time ago. We're in 7th grade now! Come on guys, catch up with up the program.

Dan's face was a blowfish, red and puffy. It looked like he couldn't hold it in anymore or he might actually spurt lava out of his nose holes. Hey, don't look at me weird, lava coming out of your nose holes was actually socially acceptable in limited parts of the world!

"What do you...you plan on doing... with that!" he gasped through breathes of laughter as he pointed his index finger at what I thought to be my mitt. But as I looked down my face turned a shade of light pink, my fingers started to shake and crackle like burnt popcorn with little chance of survival. My eyes tightened, snapping closed as my breath sucked into my lungs, praying that when my eyes opened it would disappear, just fly away in the wind like a lost balloon that came untied from a little boy's wrist.

My eyes broke their bonds, but my dad's old leather shoe stayed exactly in place. Gripped in my shaking hands. "Oh, this old thing. Um... It's... Um... a..." I spattered trying to stay calm like it was my lifelong dream to hold an old leather shoe in my hand. For all they knew, I could be trying to break the world record of gripping wet leather objects for long periods of time. The record is ten hours. I have nine hours and fifty seconds to go.

"Oh, thanks Ryan for holding that shoe in your house for me! If my dad saw what happened to his brand new shoes he would have me cleaning toilets for the next year!" Alex shouted from the middle of the crowd.

Oh my goodness, Alex was such a lifesaver (and not the candy kind), and a great friend. He always thought so well on his feet, making that story up just for me so I wouldn't look like a total idiot...well more of an idiot than usual. If I didn't have a good explanation for the guys they would've laughed me off the team! No, not even! They would have laughed me off this continent to the Pacific Ocean without a life jacket! Hey guys, just because I'm good at baseball doesn't mean I'm a trained swimmer that can float for more than five minutes in any given ocean!

But I was glad Alex was my best friend. He'd do anything to help me out.

"Yeah, your welcome. Well we better get our butts moving or Coach will make us run laps again. Come on!" I rushed out of the house, quickly changing the subject. I went to the bushes next to the front door to check one last time for my mitt. My fingers skinned the dirt and gripped my second wet leather object of the day. Well, what do you know, my all mighty mitt has been found. Muddy and wet as ever...but still good enough.

I ran to catch up with the rest of team heading down the driveway onto the sidewalk. I caught up with Alex right away and we both slowed down by the rear of the pack so nobody could hear us.

"Thanks for bailing me out," I elbowed him in the chest. My ever so gentle form of gratitude. "You're a great friend!"

"Yeah, well don't get too mushy. If the guys see you like that, it will take more than my imagination to help you out of that situation. Anyway you owed me," he grunted, squaring out his shoulders while his chest puffed out. He tried to act tough and all, but he was really the biggest softy I knew.

"Really? When did I ever help you?" My eyebrows rose up in an arch, actually interested in his response. "You're usually the one doing the helping."

"You're the best player on the baseball team. Even better than Dan, and he hit 4 home runs this season. You almost win all of our games single-handedly. You're just an amazing player, and I think I owe something to the great-all-time player." Alex whispered so nobody could hear. Like Alex said we didn't need anybody else overhearing how mushy our conversation was getting. Too much mush was never good.

We continued on about who was the better player, and got so caught up that we barely noticed how far we drifted from the rest of the team.

Suddenly a taunting voice from down the street ripped us away from our in depth talk. "Come on you old grannies! Do I have to pay for a cab so you can catch up, or should I be a gentleman come get you myself?"

Oh my goshness! Whoever said that was going to get a butt whoopin' curtsey of my right fist, Alice. Don't tell me that you've never named your fist because it's all just a lie. Just don't name yours Danny-Boy because that's already taken by my left fist.

Alex must have read my mind because he started to sprint down the street parallel to my running body. Our arms were chopping up air, hair blowing into faces, and shoes untied. Well, at least mine were untied. Yeah, hello, does anyone know how to tie shows with the power of their brain because I'm a little busy at the moment.

"O.K... nerdetts. Whoever... Whoever... was shouting at us... back there is going to get it! Who was it! Come on! Show yourself! WHO... WAS... IT" I hissed out of breath, halting within feet of the rest of the team. For some reason everyone was looking at me like I did something absolutely wrong. Like I just murdered someone with the power of a plastic straw right in front of their faces. Even Alex looked at me weird.

"Relax Ryan! You don't have to get all drama queen on us," one of the guys teased. Usually I enjoyed a good laugh, but I didn't think I really over reacted? Maybe I've been watching too many gangster movies. I mean come on, those interrogation scenes are always the best!

"Yeah, Ryan, chill out! Anyway were almost there, just around this corner. If Coach sees you fooling around he might make you sit out the first few innings of our next game! And you know we can't afford that," Kevin announced wiping his nose with his sleeve where snot started to leak.

"Oh...you thought...I was serious? You guys where did you leave your sense of humor, at home," I busted out with laugher as we turned onto the street the baseball park was on, "Gotcha!"

I couldn't believe I just thought of that all by myself on the fly! Oh my Batman meets Robin! I don't know how they just believed that crud I told them was true or maybe everyone was just too afraid to admit it...Alex looked as shocked as I felt. All of the guys coughed up a nervous laugh, like they knew it was a joke the whole time! Yeah right!

We rounded the corner crossing the tall grass to the baseball field. It was really awkward because nobody was talking. Only a few conversations were going on here and there. No one spoke as a whole group, though. I think they got a little freaked out about the whole "joke" I played on them. They would get over it by the time we got to practice.

I headed over to Alex, since nobody wanted to talk, but I knew Alex would. He was in the back alone. I gradually slowed down until I was lined up with him.

"Hey," I mumbled to him not knowing what he would say. For all the years I've known him he still surprised me.

"That was some save you made by yourself back there. That was truly awesome. Too bad you went a little too far with the whole joking thing. Next time leave the saving up to me. Okay," he nudged my arm. We both laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. It was like there was some sort of hysterical gas in the air and we had just sucked down gallons of it by accident.

We started jogging with the rest of the group over to the worn down bench by the field, put our mitts and bats down, and waited until Coach told us what to do next. I sat next to Alex and Kevin on the already crowded bench. My hand inches away from getting squashed under someone's butt.

Coach, who was wearing his usual gray sweat pants and t-shirt, was leaning on the nearby fence, fingers intertwined in the metal rings. His lips curled, and eyes crossed. Whew! Okay, at least Coach had his happy face on today. And yes, this was he looked like when he was happy, scrunched up face and all!

"Okay team, glad you could make it on time for practice today," Coach grumbled in his deep scratchy voice, " Well, first of all I have to remind everybody that Saturday is our next game against the Butterflies. Now I know the name sounds kind of intimidating, but I know we could beat them!"

"If a team called Butterflies is supposed to be intimidating our team name should scare the pants right off their behinds. Am I right, Heaters! Let's go Heaters!" Dan burst out laughing. Everyone started to giggle and make side remarks in the background.

"Very funny Daniel, very funny. Now, let's get out there and warm up by throwing. Partner up!! Move it," Coach barked as his fingers ripped from their metal grip and snapped at the empty field.

Practice was going great, really great. My hitting felt like it was getting better and better with each pitch. I even hit a couple of triples and one homer! I gave that ball a personal beating. My fielding was great, too. I hated bragging but I caught a huge pop fly to center field. My arm literarily extended out of its socket and caught the ball at the tip of the mitt! Well...at least it felt like it.

"AHHHHHH!"

My head cracked to my left, as a scream shot through my ears. Josh was on the ground, kneeling over himself, rolling in the dirt.

"Ahh! My arm I think I strained it!" Josh cried through clenched teeth. But I wasn't worried too much because Josh was um... what do you call it... oh yeah, an over-reactor! He could get a paper cut and be lying over pretending he was dead.

But as usual Coach rushed over to Josh, and felt his arm to make sure he was okay. "You'll be fine Josh! Come on, do you have to make a big fuss every time you throw the ball? Ugh! Go sit out, you'll be okay if you rest it."

"Okay Coach," Josh choked out, clutching his arm.

"Everyone start practicing. I have to go call Josh's mom, and tell her about this incident..." Coach grabbed Josh by his uninjured arm, and walked to his car parked on the street where he kept his cell phone during practice. "...it's the same thing every two days..."

As soon as Coach was out of ear shot one of the guys sighed. "Now we're one player short! We can't have our practice game! Its uneven teams!"

"Ohhhh! Let me play!" A whine came from the bleachers. "I can do it! Pla-laa-eeessee! I'll be so good! I'll be super duper!"

Oh my crackers...it was Pete, the nerdiest kid in the whole school. Well, at least, that's what other people said about him. He was sitting on the bottom bleacher wearing a t-shirt that had the words "go team" on it, tucked into his pants that were almost as high as an old granny's, and to top it off, he had glasses the size of coke bottles!

Everyone started to crack up! Including me! I couldn't help it! Laughter was a contagious disease. We roared until our throats were sore. Some people were even on the ground clutching their stomachs by the time the laughter winded down.

"Nice one nerd bomb! For a second, I thought you were serious. Now will you leave like a good little nerd, and play with your sister's Barbie dolls!" yelped Dan with tears coming out of his eyes.

"I only played with her Barbie Doll once and that was because she forced me! Two-year-olds are very forceful these days!" Pete argued looking as if what he had just said was nothing to be ashamed about. "Please can I just play this one time?"

"Wait, hold on guys! Actually I think we should let him play," Dan yelled out so the whole team and Pete could hear. Everyone's face had a look of pure confusion. Just a minute a go Dan was telling Pete to get lost, and now he wanted him to join! I think someone should hit Dan on the head with a baseball bat before he did anything else stupid. Anyone want to volunteer...?

"Ohhhhhhhhh! Do you mean it! Really? I'm so happy, I feel like I won the science fair all over again!" screamed Pete with joy. I couldn't believe Dan of all people was letting him practice with our team! He got annoyed just at the sight of Pete. I mean, who wouldn't be annoyed when Pete showed up to all the practices, games, and meetings with his annoyingly high-pitched voice screaming unwanted cheers at us.

Dan's hand shot up in the air, waving everybody to the middle of the field. And like zombies obeying their zombie king, we all dragged our feet and formed an uneven circle.

"You guys get ready for one big laugh. Let Pete be the first one up to bat on the team Josh was playing on. So it's George, Lenny, Kevin, Alex, and Pete and the rest of the team with me. You guys, it'll be great! You just watch and see him completely make a fool of himself!" Dan explained while Pete was by home plate trying to figure out how to use the bat. "Hurry before Coach comes back to the field!"

"You guys, no! That's not right! I know he's a nerd and all, but to embarrass him like that is just wrong!" I spoke looking down to my sand covered cleats. I didn't really know Pete that well or like him either, but it wasn't right to embarrass him like that. What has he done to us?

"Fine, defend your little boyfriend, Ryan. I'm sorry if I hurt your feeling just talking about him. Will you forgive me?" Dan's voice melted in sarcasm, his upper lip twitching a sad attempt at a puppy dog face.

I really didn't like it when I was the butt of the joke especially in front of all the guys on my baseball team. So I lied. I told them that I was just kidding, and I thought it wasn't wrong to embarrass him. I mean in that situation having the baseball team like me was more important than some kid I barely knew and his precious feelings.

Chapter 2: Nerds Don't Play Baseball

"You guys move in! Nerd bomb can't hit if his life depended on it!" Dan screamed the veins in his neck constricting like water pumping through a hose. His eyes narrowed into slits as Pete stepped to the plate, tugging at an over sized bat. "Move in!"

I couldn't watch...

My stomach twisted. Tightening around my skin, ripping at my muscles untfil a rhythmic pulse was the only thing I could feel. I just couldn't...but I had to.

My eyes that were glued shut with crusted eye boogies suddenly snapped opened and peeked over my mitt from third base. My skin hurt as I sucked in a deep breath. It was a pretty harsh feeling knowing something bad was about to do happen, and all you could do was sit back. Watch it play out like an action movie, your fingernails digging into the theater seat as a train stormed into view about to crash into a pillar and all you could do was watch with your mouth wide open.

It was better just to stay out of it. Let the train crash and hope for the best.

I looked back at home plate again hoping Coach would come back soon.

Pete wasn't even holding the bat right. It was slumping against his shoulder, feet facing in opposite directions as if they were screwed on wrong. His form was horrible. Pete had no idea in the world of brilliant ideas (and some not so brilliant) what he was getting himself into.

Dan gripped the ball, his fingers skimmed the red lining as his arm stretched back releasing the ball slow enough so even a toddler who was still learning to walk couldn't have missed. But I guess a toddler was better than Pete. His arms swung, the bat whipping through the air as the ball clearly went right under the piece of metal into the catcher's mitt. He spun around and fell into the dirt from the force of swinging the bat that towered over him.

"Strike one nerd pie! How's 'bout another one?" Dan laughed in chokes of breath. All of the guys on the team followed Dan in laughing. I looked at Alex who probably was thinking the same thing, how could anybody be so mean? Unless he just ate a burrito, because I hate to break it to people who like burritos, but they give you bad gas. Never eat a burrito and sit next to me afterwards unless you wanted your butt kicked so hard that no smell ever dared escape it again!

"OH! STRIKE! YES! Is that good? Tell me if that's good or not!" Pete shouted from his little dirt fortress on the ground, the gravel sucking him in like quicksand. I really did feel bad and all, but I couldn't help it. My throat erupted with bubbles of laughter as the whole team exploded with me.

"YEAH! THAT WAS SO GOOD! That's the best strike I've ever seen!" Dan was barely trying to hide his sarcasm at this point, his face started to break into a clown-sized smile that came with an evil laugh free of charge. "You're doing great!"

"Really?" asked Pete his eyes bugged out as he picked himself out of his dirt kingdom, letting the sand stick to his pants like stubborn gum underneath the desk.

"NOOOO!" roared Dan, his face cracking into a bigger smile, the curves of his mouth so deep that it looked as if it might jump off his face and attack at any moment. "You stink so bad that someone 'oughta change your diaper!"

Dan and the team snapped and fell to the ground like broken rubber bands, squirming into fits of laughter. And they wouldn't stop! They just kept giggling and chuckling as if a tuna fish wizard was practicing his magic and accidently cast a spell over the whole team, making it impossible to go five seconds without laughing.

"I can see that you played a meany joke on me! I'll just sit on the bleachers and watch you play. Have fun!" Pete mumbled, shuffling his feet in the sand creating a mini dust storm. His face sagged as he inched towards the metal bleachers, and slumped on the first level of the bench. Pete's feet dangled as if a bolt had come loose from his body.

"Yeah! That's where you belong, nerdling! ON THE SIDELINE! ON THE OUTSIDE! You belong anywhere but the game field" Dan finally picked himself off the ground, and shouted at Pete.

I looked at Pete with all the pity my heart could stand like someone would if their dog ran away. I mean, I really felt sorry for the guy, even though I barely knew him. He just wanted to play with us but instead of having a good time he was humiliated. But I couldn't do anything about. Not when the team was watching. Not right now...

"Wasn't that hysterical guys? I mean, did you see his face? Oh let me play! Yeah right!" Dan spattered imitating Pete, twirling around and falling flat on his butt, spreading dirt sprinkles in the air. It was actually a very pathetic imitation and Dan probably should never go into comedy, but still everybody laughed as hard as ever.

Pete just looked at his reflection in the rusted bleachers, his eyes glued, hands flat supporting his head from falling down and hiding in the nearest hole. The team just slipped on the ground, rolling around in the dirt and laughing like caterpillars smothered in laughing gas. I didn't know how Pete could just sit there while he was getting embarrassed all over again! What was keeping him here...?

"What in the world is going on?" Coach's voice boomed, Josh's arm still gripped in his hand. "I go away for ten minutes and it looks like nobody has been practicing. Get going or there will be no game Saturday! Josh your fine to play! Now go!" Coach nudged Josh who was still holding his arm against his chest, limped back to the field. Give it up Josh, everybody knows that you're faking it. Even the president of Antarctica, who never in his life met you, knows you're faking it!

As soon as Josh made his way to the baseball field we started our practice game again. I couldn't help but look over to see if Pete was okay. To see if he moved from his statue like position, or if he would ever move again. But every time I glance to the bleachers, he was still there, frozen to the metal like he wanted to leave but something urged him to stay. I wondered why Pete wasn't leaving...

"HEY HEADS-UP!" shouted a voice, screeching my thoughts to a stop. I suddenly woke up from my trance and looked around, trying to figure out what was happening.

"WHAT?" I yelled back and was greeted by shouts and waving arms. Yeah everyone, just shout all at once! I definitely can figure out what you are saying! Who needs to hear one voice, when you can listen to a million shouting at the same exact moment in time? Sorry guys, I'm not that skilled.

"Ryan, pick up the ball so we don't lose this stinkin' practice game!" Dan shouted with more emphasis this time as spit traveled out of his mouth creating a dark circle in the sand. Hey, you don't have to spit at me twice!

My eyes focused on the ball that was playing dead not far from my dirt covered cleats. I picked it up and threw it with all my strength to second base, sucking in my breath until the ball left the safety of my finger tips.

The ball flew with grace from my blistered hands all the way to Dan's mitt at second base. The practice game was over. Mitts flew in the air, screams exploded while the guys on my practice team charged at each other with congratulatory high fives. Winning a practice game wasn't much of a thrill to tell you the truth! The only plus was that the losers always had to stay after practice and help clean up equipment.

Even though I didn't need to, I stayed after and waited for Alex so we could walk home together. But my eyes kept trailing back to the bleachers and at Pete who looked as if he was trying really hard to not have his face melt. I couldn't take it anymore! I had to say something to him. I had to do something or guilt would run me over like a stray deer in the middle of the night.

"Hey Ryan that was some play at second base!" Alex slapped his arm on my shoulder. "Too bad I wasn't up to bat or you would've been sorry."

"Yeah sorry that I'd get you out," I joked as I glanced over at Pete again.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Alex laughed moving towards the tall grass that was in the direction of his house. "We should start walking home soon or my parents might call the police like they did the last time I was late. They don't trust me ever since I emptied my fish bowel into the toilet with my fish still inside of it. Poor Goldie never had a chance..."

"Alex, I have to stay." I quickly interrupted the sad tale of Goldie the fish. "I need to talk to Coach. You go ahead." I really didn't want Alex knowing that I wanted to apologize to Pete about what happened today. I didn't know what he would think of me if he knew, and I really didn't want to risk finding out.

"Ryan, there's nobody here, but us and that weird Pete guy. If you want to tell me something just say it. You don't have to lie. You know you can trust me." Alex gave me a friendly punch in the shoulder.

"Alex, just go ahead I just have to take care of something." I scratched at dirt that caked in my hair. I didn't know why but I just couldn't tell Alex what was really going on. Not yet at least. "I'm fine."

"Okay, but when your ready to tell me what's up, I'll be here."

"Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow at school." I said waving goodbye to Alex as he walked into the tall grass, disappearing through the giant stalks.

I just stood there for a few moments trying to come up with a plan. Alex was right. The baseball field was completely empty except for me and Pete who, by the way, was still frozen on the bleachers. I actually wondered if he would be able to move again. Maybe we broke him? Maybe he was really the first human looking robot and was an experiment by the FBI to see if the robot could make human connections. Or maybe he was just really sad and didn't want to move...yeah let's leave it at that.

I walked over to the bleachers, stopping right in front of the balding grass hiding under Pete's feet. I cleared my throat as if I was going to conduct an important presentation. "Hey Pete."

"Hey." He sighed, "What are you doing here? Oh I know! You're here to laugh at me some more and be a meany-face to me? Right?"

"No, no you got it all wrong I wanted to apologize," my fingers gripped at the slipping waist of my pants, pulling them tight to my skin. "Anyway my name is Ryan,"

Pete didn't respond, probably in shock that I was apologizing.

"Um...so... I'm really sorry about what my team did to you today. I just wanted to let you know I feel really bad, and I should have stopped them." I said hesitating, not knowing whose words were coming out of my mouth. I mean, that's how I really felt, but I didn't think I had the guts to admit it to Pete. To admit it to myself.

And just as fast as a roller coaster ride could go from amazing to get-me-off-this-crazy-metal-trap-before-I-lose-my-lunch-and-part-of-my-breakfast, Pete changed his attitude. It was like a light switch. "That's okay! I'm super-duper glad that you told me this! I feel so much happier that I could do an equation right now!" Pete jumped straight up from his slouched position. Well, he certainly felt better.

"Ah...Okay, well, I have to go so... I'll see you around sometime!" I backed away from Pete as if he was a bear I found in the forest. I mean, his change in attitude was really freaking me out! I turned toward the tall grass and started walking away, trying to shake off the chills from what just happened. Very strange.

"I'll see you soon too, hot stuff." Pete mumbled under his breath.

"What did you say?" I asked, my cleats snagging into the dirt in a sudden stop.

"Nothing, nothing." He shouted back at me.

If I didn't know better I'd think that Pete actually sort of... liked me. Nah! That couldn't be it. He was just being nice, right? At least I hoped so...

Trying to ignore what Pete just said, I walked through the tall grass, with a lot on mind. Did Pete really like me? Should I tell Alex about it? Will my parents kill me for being late? And will my head explode from thinking too much? I didn't know the answers to any of those questions. All I knew was if I kept thinking my head would for sure blow up and that was one mess I didn't want to clean up!

I cleared my mind from everything as I came out from the jungle of tall grass to the emptiness of the quiet street. I thought about the next day of school instead. I knew that school wasn't that great but at least it was a thought that didn't make my head feel all numb. I actually liked school.

Hard to believe but school was pretty cool. I had mostly nice teachers and all the guys from my baseball team were in my classes. Life was good at school. Well, except for this one group of popular kids. They had always singled me out since elementary school. They teased me for playing baseball. They would say girls don't play baseball. Girls should do...do things...things I didn't even want to know about.

Please, don't give me nightmares.

My dad, unfortunately, agreed with the popular kids. He never liked me playing baseball. He said it was only a boy's sport and I'd only get hurt. Ugh! It just made me so mad! It's the 21st century Dad! Girls could be just as amazing as boys in anything!

I continued to have this argument in my head for a couple of feet until I heard the most unusual sound. It was like a swish or crack. I froze instantly, listening to the noises to see if it would come back. I stood still for about a minute and heard nothing. Just dead silence.

I took another few steps and heard the same SWISH and CRACK, but this time it was much louder. If I didn't know any better, which in most cases I didn't, I'd say someone was stalking me! Great I always wanted someone to follow me and watch my every move! It made me feel so special (nervous laugh).

"Whoever or whatever you are, you better show yourself! I happen to have a black belt and I'm not afraid to use it!" I shouted weakly taking out my black belt I had in my pocket. Some people carried pepper spray, I carried black leather objects that were guaranteed to scare away any stalker. They'll be frozen in their confusion and won't know what to do.

"Um, I come in...peace," stuttered someone from the shadows of a bush. The dark figure stepped forward, revealing itself, and...

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I jumped about three feet backwards. I couldn't believe my eyelids! Maybe I needed glasses because it couldn't be who I thought it was. I didn't want it to be who I thought it was.

"Relax, silly it's only me," chuckled Pete as he inched closer revealing his goofy smile and signature coke bottle glasses.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed again and not because I was surprised but only because I was starting to get annoyed of this Pete guy. I mean, can't you give a girl a break? All I wanted was to walk home while talking to myself and only myself. No extra invitations to this loner stroll!

Pete ignored my screaming, his eyes shooting to his feet that were twisting as if trying to squash an invisible bug. "Um... so...I just wanted to tell you that..."

"What are you doing here?" I spat, saliva soaring onto Pete's glasses, which in a normal situation I would feel bad about but right now it felt like the perfect move. I think I had the right to be angry. You don't sneak up on a person like that unless you want said person to never talk to you again!

"Um...I think things were left unsaid at the baseball field and I just really wanted to tell you that... I like you Ryan and you're very pretty" Pete stared into my eyes like he was a zombie trying to suck out my brain. I really didn't like people trying to suck out my brain and I didn't like Pete either so this was just a bad combination. I just turned my back and continued walking as if nothing ever happened.

"Hey, aren't you going to say something warm and fuzzy to me too? " Pete asked his eyelashes flashing non-stop and his bottom lip curled so he looked like a sad abandoned puppy. Maybe if Pete was a real puppy I would feel bad, but since he walked on two legs and spoke a language that was comprehendible, I didn't feel that bad at all. "Aren't you?"

"No." I stated, not turning around.

I wasn't in a friendly mood, and I had to get home. If I did say something nice, word might get out that I was being friendly to a... a... well you know, a nerd. I could see the headline of the newspapers now; Baseball loving girl is nice to the nerdiest nerd, Pete. I didn't want my fate to be a nerd-lover, and no offence but Pete was a nerd.

"Why?" I could sense Pete following me still.

"Because."

"Because why?" Pete whined back.

"Because! I don't have time for this! Just leave me alone so I can get home before my parents make chop liver out of me! And I hate chop liver!" I swung around making eye contact with Pete. This conversation was taking way too long. My attention only could handle so much torture.

"Rejection only makes me want you even more! But for now I have to go home too!" Pete either did not hear what I had just said, or did not care. Either way he was completely unfazed as he turned the opposite direction back into the shadows. "See you tomorrow, sugar!"

OMG! This was too much for a Thursday night!

I quickly walked home and finally made it to our house. I tried to open the door as quietly as possible in order to draw the least amount of attention. I didn't know what time it was, but since I got delayed (thank you very much Pete) it was probably late. And I mean past dinner late. This was not good! My dad was a total control freak and if I didn't get home on time he was going to suspect where I was and what I had been doing.

I pushed on the door but almost fell inside as the door unlocked and swung open to reveal my dad. I swear my dad had a tracking device sewn into me at birth. He always knew when I was about come into the house. Or maybe he had Spiderman senses that oddly only came in handy when I was late. Either way, I never got away with anything in this house!

"Hi Dad." I greeted nervously. This was not good at all. My dad was going to ask where I had been and I couldn't tell him I was at baseball practice. He already had his crazy eyes going, I couldn't add to the madness. He hated when I played baseball. He always tried to get me to do more girly things like play with dolls, dress up and put on make-up. While your at it Dad why don't you just enter me in the next state beauty pageant? Like that would ever happen.

"What did you do today, sweat pea?" My dad's voice sounded nice, but it was all an act. The venom would come out soon. He walked closer to me while I pulled my baseball mitt behind my back, trying to look innocent. Trying being the key word.

"Nothing. I just...where's Mom?" My voice went up an octave trying to change the subject. I would never make it as a criminal mastermind. My lying skills would get me nowhere in life!

"She's upstairs. It's late. Why did you come home so late? It's there something you want to tell me? Just tell me I won't be mad." My dad was trying to sound gentle so I would reveal the truth. Well, it's not going to work this time Daddy-o. I'm keeping my mouth shut. If I have to I'll staple it. You will have to send me to Spain and have the bulls run after me in order for me to spill...

"I was at baseball practice. Okay, bye!" I admitted, quickly making my way upstairs faster than a racing horse with mutant speed. I didn't want to hear what my dad had to say because I had heard it over and over before. Broken record style.

It was ringing in my head right now...What have I told you about playing baseball young lady. Baseball is not for girls like you, now go to your room and snap out of this non-sense.

"Ryan Lynn Jackson! You come down here right now! We need to talk!" My dad's voice screeched up the stairs just as I reached the doorknob of my room. Cheese and crackers! I was almost free.

"What?" I asked even though I knew what he was going to say. I shuffled down the stairs, still holding my baseball stuff behind my back (like that was doing any good). My dad had his arms crossed over his chest, and his face pinched like a bulldog.

"What have I told..." he started his no baseball speech that I heard so many times. I zoned out until he was finish, because there was no real point of listening. I might have just as well unscrewed my ears, juggled with them, and re-attached them when he was done.

"You understand, Ryan. And I don't want to have this talk again, you hear me?" my dad demanded as he started to walk away into the kitchen. Sadly, we would definitely have this talk again.

"Yes, Daddy, sir." I mumbled to myself, and walked back upstairs. This wasn't fair! I was a really good baseball player and he still didn't respect that. There should be a law for not supporting your kid in their dreams. Whatever. I didn't care what he thought! I was going to play baseball no matter what he or anyone else said.

I slammed the door to my room and chucked my baseball mitt at my closet. It whipped against the wall smearing caked dirt. Oh no, I thought as the dust smoke sizzled out, I still had homework to finish! Crap! Well I guess that is what tomorrow is for.

I walked over to my bed, whipped out of my dirty baseball cloths and went into the shower. The warm steam felt like a blanket, like a cocoon of protection. Everything was going to be all right, I thought to myself, tomorrow is a brand new day and a chance for something to go right...for once.

Chapter 3: Defender of the Bus

"Goooood Mooorrrning! It's going to be a bright sunny..." I slammed my hand on the snooze button. My body was frozen under the sheets, covers strapping me in tight as if my bed was preparing for take off to an unknown planet in the matter of seconds.

"Oh... my... goodness!" I whispered as I wiped the crust from my eyes and finally faced my clock. The digits blinking back in a steady beat that matched my pulse. My face started to sweat while my throat went so dry that it felt like it was caked with sand.

"Mom," I croaked as I immediately bounced out of bed, my head inches from the corner of the wall and possible impact. I wheezed as the sand in my throat became thicker. "MOM!

"What?" Her voice barely audible from downstairs.

"MOM, please tell me it's 6:30," I begged, ripping my covers off, ready to dive into a pile of dirty laundry if needed.

"Why?" The voice droned as if underwater.

"Just tell me what time is right now!" I shouted, gagging as the sand flakes went deeper into my throat. "Please!"

"Its 7:30 okay, I'm leaving for work in ten minutes." My mom coughed clearly not in tune to the current crisis of the day, which I tended to have a lot of. One crisis a day, and you're your okay, was my official motto. More than five, and hey you are still alive, that was my other official motto. Not yet copyrighted in the U.S. or parts of Canada.

"MY BUS COMES IN SEVEN MINUTES! WHY DIDN'T YOU OR DAD WAKE ME UP?" I cried racing towards my closet putting on the first shirt and pants my fingers could grab. For all I knew I could be wearing that pink sweater with frills my grandma got me for one birthday.

"Dad left early for work and I didn't know when you needed to be up by." My mom's voice started to fade out like the fuzz when you tried to change the radio station. My mom probably didn't even know what time my bus came! She probably didn't even care! Ugh! Next time you actually want to be helpful mom just call me at 1-800-I'm-going-to-miss-my-stinkin'-bus-today!

"Crap," I mumbled under my breath as I passed my clock looking for my homework, that I just realized I didn't do! "Double Crap!" I only had five minutes until the bus came.

I quickly grabbed a crumpled sheet of paper out from under my bed and started scribbling fake math problems and answers. Hopefully my math teacher didn't check our homework today, like that was the least of my problems! I exploded down the stairs, catapulting some steps on the way. Fortunately, not falling, tripping, or tumbling over my feet like the other one hundred previous times.

Four minutes to go.

I forced my feet into my dirt covered shoes, grabbed my backpack from the shelf with whatever was in it, and left without even saying goodbye to my mom or even eating!

Three minutes on the clock.

I sprinted down my slanted driveway and onto the sidewalk, waving my arms like an insane person. I had about a block to go until I got to the bus stop. I couldn't miss the bus it was my only source of transportation other than walking five miles, which was not going to happen over my slightly worn-out dead body. Hopefully. Maybe.

Two minutes left.

I swished pass a corner, practically tripping over my legs, my chestnut hair blowing up into my face, strands sticking to my eyes. Where was my hair tie? Cheese and crackers! My eyes suddenly popped through the hair barrier, and saw the bus approaching like a flashlight in a dark forest signaling for help.

"Stop, wait for me!" My throat snapped in pain as spit flew wildly.

I bolted down the sidewalk, my feet snapping against the pavement, my joints cracking with each impact. This bus better stop or I just might have to use my special powers of doom, which for legal reasons cannot be described or used at any point in time...but trust me I do have them!

"Stop the bus!" I whistled through gritted teeth, my lips cracking. The big yellow land submarine started to move three driveways ahead of me! Don't make me use my powers of doom illegally! I'm warning you!

My legs were starting to give out, and my chest was pounding.

"For goodness sake, I'll make you cookies if you stop!" My breath wheezed as I chased the salty exhaust of the bus, arms swaying in the air as if they were swatting at invisible flying French fries. Don't mess with the French, they'll just beat you with their flying fries.

Suddenly the driver finally noticed me, and angrily pulled over. He opened the door, and shouted from the inside, "What in the world are you waiting for, get in!"

If you still think I'm making you cookies after that, you must be insane.

I picked my feet up the giant steps of the bus, trying not to trip and call even more attention then I already had. As if I call attention, oh no, pleaes! Attention calls me and we talk every night for 2-3 hours because we are BFFs!

"Hey Ryan! Nice look, very stylish. What do you call it, make-me-want-to-puke wear?" Sneered Marissa from the middle of the bus the moment I made my way inside. Marissa was the most popular girl in the seventh grade. Her sleek black hair and blue crystal eyes I guess gave her the right to the popularity throne. But she was so snobby and full of herself that you wondered how she could even handle it?

Everyone suddenly turned around from their conversations and stared directly at me. Even the bus driver glanced over his shoulder to have a look. Silence struck the bus in a sudden blast. But just as quickly as the silence came laughter erupted. So much for not calling attention...

"Yeah it's all the rage in London," I joked over the laughter as I bravely looked down at what I was really wearing. Oh my Aunty May! I thought waking up late was bad enough. I was wearing the most possibly embarrassing outfit I could imagine, even more embarrassing than that time this sixth grader wore a garbage can to school because he fell inside and couldn't squirm out of the metal trap.

It was bad.

I had on my cousin's old Winnie the Pooh T-shirt from Disney that he gave me when I was eight, mustard stains and all. It was a size too tight and had holes toward the bottom. And to top it all off I had my dad's old work pants from when he was a teenager that Mom finally made him give up for donation. They surprisingly were not that big. Probably shrunk in the wash. They were a very old fashion, dark poop brown, with old mud stains. At least I hoped they were mud stains...

"What happened? Did you get dressed in the dark or something?" asked Lara, Marissa's partner in crime as I maneuvered pass ice melting stares to find a seat. Lara had the same sleek hair as Marissa but for some reason could never surpass Marissa in popularity. You could see it in her eyes though. She had that look of One day this kingdom will be mine! As popular as Lara thought she was she would never overthrow Queen Marissa.

"Funny, funny. At least I don't wear shirts that say, I'm one of the biggest snobs in this school so bow down to my evil ways or die!" I replied quickly not showing any hesitation even though the bus driver stared back at me, his thick hands shaking in annoyance. Everyone on the bus shut their mouths clearly entertained by the showdown. Nothing like a good old fashion verbal battle before school.

"There would be no room on the T-shirt DUMMY!" Lara stuttered taken aback from my remark. I guess she forgot to turn her brain on this morning...

"Whatever." I mumbled walking away from the center of attention as I finally found a seat in the back of the bus next to Alex.

"Taken on the Pops," Alex announced using Pops, our little nickname for the popular kids. The bus started humming, the motor coughed up a grumble as the wheels cracked on loose rocks, moving down the street to its next destination, school.

"Well, they deserved it." I grunted not hiding my anger. And think I had the right to be! Going to school dressed like this could turn the happiest person down right sour.

"What really did happen anyway? And don't tell me you're making a fashion statement because that outfit should be shredded as soon as possible." Alex mocked pretending to be a high fashion designer. Yeah, hilarious Alex. Next time you have a bad hair day you are never going to hear the end about until at least college!

"Good thing none of the guys from the baseball team were here. They would be all over you..." Alex started, pushing his knees against the seat in front of us, "...but eventually it will get around school and everyone will be whispering in the hallways, and the teachers will all know and..."

I groaned thinking of my dark future of humiliation ahead.

"Okay, maybe on second thought," Alex continued, "you might want to change your name and live in Mexico where nobody knows your dark past of this very day..."

"My stinkin' mother didn't wake me up for the stinkin' bus on stinkin' time. So I had to stinkin' grab the first stinkin' thing out of my closet and stinkin' run and try to catch the stinkin' bus so I didn't have to STINKIN' WALK TO STINKIN' SCHOOL." I nearly shouted interrupting Alex.

"Okay, okay. I get it! Just quiet down before you make another scene...too late." Alex moaned as Marissa, Lara and their zombie followers turned around towards me and glared with their evil mocking eyes. Well, round two, here we go!

"IS THE LITTLE WINNIE THE POOH BASEBALL GEEK GOING TO CRY? OH I FORGOT THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!" shrieked Marissa in her annoying girly voice that would crack my glasses if I had any.

That was it! Nobody made fun of my baseball and got away with it! They had been cracking jokes on me for playing baseball ever since I started it in first grade. I just couldn't comprehend why on Earth is was so funny that a girl could play baseball and even better than most boys! I mean if anything, I should be getting compliments!

I guess I would never understand the mind of a Pop nor would I want to.

"Hey..." I started shouting over the laughter when somebody nearby surprisingly cut me off me. I turned over expecting to see Alex, but I guess I wasn't having that kind of luck today.

"Hey you meanies, Ryan has done nothing to you, so leave her alone!" Whined no other than Pete. The mister I-will-save-you-from-the-Pops-but-really-I-am-making-it-worse-even-though-I-don't-realize-it-right-now-but-I-will-once-Ryan-pumbles-my-face-into-the-ground Pete. This was not going to turn out well...

"Oh my gosh! A nerd defending a geek! Priceless!" Marissa sneered kneeling on her seat so her fat head towered over everyone else. I mean if you have a fat head, flaunt it, I guess.

"If you little weasels don't quiet down I will turn this bus around and you can walk the rest of your sorry attitudes to school," The bus driver snapped, clearly tired of trying to get us to calm down.

Since nobody really wanted to get on the bus driver's bad side (even though all his sides seemed like bad sides) we shut our mouths. Silence simmered through the vehicle and the fight was postponed for now. Everyone was too afraid to talk, not even a whisper escaped lips. But that was okay. I didn't actually feel like talking if that may come as a surprise to anyone. I had a lot to think about anyway, like how I was going to get through the whole school day without making a fool of myself (which really was a daily struggle).

Also I was kind of disappointed in Alex for not standing up for me! I was really expecting to turn around and be like, Oh Alex you really didn't have to do that, even though he did need to do that and I knew he should have. And when I turned around I got Pete. My brave hero turned out to be a nerdling getting in over his head. But that was life, I guess. Nothing turned out quite that way you expected.

Chapter 4: The Daven

The bus pulled into the school ten minutes before the bell would ring. Guess how excited I was for school to start everyone? Zip, zulch, nada, zero, nothing, you may not pass go and collect $200. This day was going to be as fun as waiting for a modern day ice age. Oh! Maybe huge wooly mammoths will roam the Earth! That would be worth it! Okay ice age, I am ready for you!

I stumbled out of the bus and took a deep breath getting ready for a day of humiliation, and name-calling. This day had bad written all over it. Inside and out.

"Hey Ryan!" Alex coughed as the exhaustion of the bus spread and the yellow blur of a vehicle disappeared around the corner. "I'm sorry..."

"Alex why didn't you stick up for me back there? Now everyone thinks I'm a geek! That is ten times worse than the girl who plays baseball!" I shouted my hands shaking at my sides as I walked towards the front of the school.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have said something but that nerd beat me to it. Why was he sticking up for you in the first place...Anyway would it help if I gave you my sweatshirt?" Alex asked taking off his sweatshirt and handing it over to me. Hmm, which was worse a Winnie The Pooh shirt or a smelly sweatshirt that was two sizes too big. I pick the sweatshirt, "Forgive me?"

"Yeah I guess. Even if the sweatshirt doesn't work, thanks anyway." I gave Alex a little nudge of my shoulder signaling my forgiveness and raced him into the school too busy to notice anything or anyone that might have been waiting behind me.

"Walk!" One of the teachers yelled as we screeched to a stop in front of our lockers, out of breath. We quickly changed our pace as a pack of boys came into view. The same boys that I unfortunately had no intentions to confront today.

"Hey Ryan, where did Winnie The Pooh go I was looking forward to meeting him," spat Dan as we came into earshot. The rest of the team started laughing in the background. Seriously! I wasn't even in the school for two minutes and probably half the student body, including the lower grade levels, knew about my "incident" this morning. Maybe there was still time to change my name and move to Mexico. I always wanted to be a salsa dancer...

"Oh I'm sorry, Winnie The Pooh had to leave for a business trip. You know how it can be at Disney, they just can't get enough of him there," I joked so the whole team could hear. Sometimes I couldn't believe the words that actually came out of my mouth.

"Well, when he comes back tell him Dan wants to meet him," Dan pushed right through Alex and I, making a path for the rest of the guys on the team. Yeah, we'll see who's laughing this afternoon at practice when I might "accidentally" throw the ball and it might "accidentally" hit Dan right in his big mouth. Accidentally, of course.

"What some people would do to be liked," Alex whispered to me as soon as they left, snapping me out of my vision of Dan crying over his bruised mouth. Dang! And it was just getting good. Alex next time you might want to ask if it is okay to interrupt my visions before you actually do.

I went to the solid metal compartment right in front of me that I would like to introduce as my locker and started twisting the knob until it hit the first number of my combo, turned it again landing on the second number, and a last time ending up on the final number.

"Yeah I know what you mean. I don't...AHHH!" I screamed as a hand turned the knob of my lock messing up my combo. "Hey what do you think...?" I sneered as I turned around and saw Kathy my only true friend that was a girl.

"Kathy!" I rasped.

"Ryan!" Kathy said mockingly

"Hey, you messed up my combo. Do you know how long it took me to get the pointer exactly on the right numbers?" I joked as I gave her a hug.

"Hey Alex," Kathy greeted as if she just realized Alex was right next to her.

"Hey," Alex replied tapping his finger on his locker clearly not interested in our girl talk.

"So I heard what happened this morning on the bus," Kathy said as I started the process of opening my locker again. "Pretty juicy stuff!"

"Yeah, wasn't one of my best moments..." I snapped my locker wide open and jammed my hand in searching for my books and supplies for school.

"The Pops really know how to ruin a perfectly good morning" Alex interrupted.

"The Pops?" Kathy furrowed her brow. She didn't know that Alex and I had a special name for the popular kids. I sighed, as I knew what was coming next. Every time somebody asked about our nickname, Alex had to go on at least a two-minute rant. Let me get my timer...

"You don't know who the Pops are?" Alex spat clearly waiting for the moment Kathy would ask him to explain. "Are you kidding me? There the Pops, the Popanator, the Popagawea, the Pop-corn, the Poparazzi, the Pop-a-livsta baby..."

"Those popular girls really don't know when to stop. Ugh! Marissa and Lara should have a suspension for being that evil." Kathy turned her back to Alex, purposefully ignoring him and his rant. "I mean, really! Some people are just so..."

"...nasty," I finished her sentence getting the last of my books."HMMMMMMM!"

"Shoot no! Was that the bell?" Alex jumped as he started to grab random books and notebooks out of his sock-smelling locker.

"Calm down! It's just someone whistling," Kathy revealed as she pointed to an obnoxious sixth grader blowing out a tune that sounded freakishly like the same bell that started each day. Alex's shoulders fell and he went back to his tortoise like movements. "Relax, it's not the bell"

"BEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"No, but that was!" I shuddered as Alex quickly went back to grabbing anything in sight and slammed his locker, shutting out the smell that so frequently I recognized it by.

"I hope Mrs. Riley wont get mad that we're late!" I worried grabbing the corner of Kathy's sleeve to get her to run faster. Alex was already feet ahead of us. I quickly glanced back towards our lockers and for a second I could have sworn I saw a shadow. Like someone was behind the corner. But anxiety was stronger than my curiosity and I regained speed as we ran past the seventh grade lockers, past the drinking fountains, and the bathrooms, almost slipping on the Caution: Wet Floor sign that nobody ever paid attention to and up one flight of stairs. We didn't even stop to catch our breath until room 202 came into our view about five minutes after the bell rang.

"Okay you guys, maybe if we have a good excuse we won't get busted." Alex mumbled as we slowed down right beside the wooden sign that read, Room 202, Mrs. Riley. "Maybe the whole class will be so worried that they'll throw us a party when we get in."

"Alex, nobody's throwing us a party unless you're the one throwing it!" Kathy's lips pushed together, turning white from anger.

"Why wouldn't they throw us a party?" Alex glared at Kathy.

"Why would they throw a party?" Kathy snapped back.

"Hey!" My voice was like a white truce flag, trying to relieve the tension. Alex and Kathy both whipped their heads towards me like I was the one making a scene. Excuse me, I wasn't the one yelling down the hallway like I was in a war fighting over the last cookie the world would ever taste! I'm trying to be classy for once!

"I'm going in. Back me up. And if I don't make it," my hand twisted the knob, pushing the door open to room 202, "Alex...you can have my baseball bat. Ready. Set. Break!"

The three of us barged into the brightly lit classroom. All eyes were on us, and needless to say that I didn't need any more attention after what happened this morning. But to my surprise, Mrs. Riley was nowhere to be found. Instead at the front of the room stood a tall figure with dark brown eyes that matched his tattered suit.

My eyes glared at this mysterious figure, starting at the tip of his leather shoes, up to the pants that wrinkled at the knee cap, until I got to his face and identified the teacher as Mr. Daven, my least favorite teacher ever. I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. Mr. Daven's dark eyes were locked onto all three of us as his signature fake smile erupted on his face.

"Ryan, Alex, Katherine," Mr. Daven gave us a head nod as he stated each of our names. Kathy flinched at her full name. "To what do I owe this surprise visit? I don't have any of you in my class until fifth period."

I turned and scanned the classroom, looking for something that might have helped, something to trigger my brain to start working. Equations, no. A picture of Albert Einstein, definitely not. A ruler? Maybe in geometry class but not now. Then my eyes stumbled across the students who were all staring back at me, and landed on Zak Risten, the hottest guy in the whole school. His dirty blond hair was the perfect length that went right down to his shoulders, and his bright smile could blind you if you looked straight into it. I just stared at him, stuck in a dream world, enchanted by the hotness of The Zak.

"I'm waiting for an explanation" interrupted Mr. Daven from my dream world. Quickly taking in my situation once again, I turned to Alex and for the first time today he actually attempted to help.

"Um...isn't this Mrs. Riley's room?" Alex asked waiting for the reply of Daven. The teacher just pointed his fat fingers to the board that had a note written in faded chalk.

Mrs. Riley's class,

Please report to room 102 until further notified.

We will be temporarily switching rooms with Mr. Daven's math class until further notice.

Sorry for any confusion

Love,

Mrs. Riley

"So we'll just be leaving now," Alex started backing up towards the door.

"Yes, that would probably be for the best" Daven replied.

"Sorry for interrupting your class," Kathy added.

"And just because I am in a giving mood today," Mr. Daven cleared his throat, "I'll call Mrs. Riley on the school phone system and tell her you're excused. But promise me this will never happen again, ever. Now, get to room 102 before I change my mind"

"Thank you Mr. Daven you won't regret it. Come on Ryan let's go!" Kathy tugged on my shirt, startling me from my concentration on Zak. I wiped the drool that was escaping my mouth on my sleeve, took one last glance at Zak, and walked out of the classroom in slow motion, closing the wooden door behind me was a satisfactory click.

"What happened in there, you were like a zombie or something?" Kathy whispered as we retraced our steps down the hall.

"Zak happened," I told her as I felt my face go bright red. Alex just looked at me with disgust.

"But he's so stupid. He probably doesn't even know the difference between up and down," Alex snorted reaching for the railing on the stairs.

"Well...!" I started to argue, missing first step of the staircase, tumbling down the stairs. My butt hitting each step as if I was in a cartoon. I landed with a thump at the bottom. Now I just need the cartoon chirping birds circling my head and I can officially become my true cartoon self!

"Actually, you two would be perfect for each other, neither of you know the difference between up and down." Alex joked as Kathy ran down the case of stairs to see if I was okay.

"Very funny Alex! What if she was really hurt?" Kathy sneered as she helped me up. I know I could be clumsy but this was just way too unfair. I'm blaming gravity this time and all the other times too. That gravity really gets you down sometimes...

"Yeah, well if she got hurt that easy then she wouldn't be on the baseball team." Alex ran down the steps to where I was almost back on my feet.

"Well what do you know?" Kathy let go of my shirt, causing me to fall again.

"More than you!" Alex's voice echoed in the staircase.

"Yeah?"

"YEAH!"

My head was going back and forth from Alex to Kathy as I sat on the floor. It was like watching someone play tennis but only with words. First Alex then Kathy, then Alex again. And what they were fighting over, I couldn't even begin to explain. That was it! Nobody fights while I'm around unless I'm the one fighting!

"HEY!" I should over the noise of Mr. And Mrs. Smith.

"What?" they both answered.

Hello? School started ten minutes ago, don't you think there's somewhere we should be headed!

"You guys! Does Mrs. Riley's class sound familiar! We should have been there a while ago!" I said in the calmest voice I could get out of my mouth. "Now make-up and let's go!" If these two were going to act like babies then I might as well treat them like babies.

Alex and Kathy shook hands, barely touching.

"Now, move it!" I started running in hopefully the right direction.

When we finally got to the right classroom we were fifteen minutes late. I know Mrs. Riley was understanding but hopefully she would be extra understanding today because my day had gone from bad to worse in less time then it took someone was a fear of heights to realize that jumping out of an airplane was not a good idea.

Alex, Kathy, and I all took a deep breath ready to face what was going to happen once we opened the door of classroom 102. I grasped the golden knob tight in my hand, not wanting to let go, but I knew I would have to eventually. Or I could just stay here, and be the official doorman of room 102! It could be a fulfilling career! It would be my choice if you were able to enter or not! Yes, a job with power...

"Just open the door already!" Alex shoved the door open to reveal a wild zoo of crazy animals that I was proud to call my first period class. Papers were flying in a swirl of laughter. Notes were being passed faster than a throw from second base to first. With the amount of spit wads shooting through the air you'd think it was a mandatory activity. And in the center of this circus stood the only teacher who would actually put up with such craziness, Mrs. Riley. I hesitantly stepped forward to hear my sentence with Alex and Kathy following behind me.

Well, here it goes.

"Ryan, Alex, and Kathy, Mr. Daven called and said you're all excused," a tall woman with bright blues and sandy blonde hair stepped closer towards the front of the classroom. "Just take a seat and we can continue class."

My shoulders dropped as if an extremely heavy weight was lifted. I walked through the obstacle of seats, sensing glares. Random guys from the baseball team came into view, bored expressions masking their faces. Oh, and to make things even better, did I forget to mention Marissa and Lara were in my class! Just sent chills down my back saying their names.

I got to a seat that was right in the back row next to Alex and Kathy. I gave a sigh of relief that I didn't get a punishment. And for the first time today my tension evaporated.

"Mrs. Riley! Mrs. Riley!" Marissa eagerly spat as soon as I took my seat. What a suck up. Marissa, why don't you just give her an apple and start doing her laundry for crying out loud!

"Yes, Marissa," Mrs. Riley patiently answered in her soothing voice.

"I think that every student should arrive on time for class, don't you?"

"Well yes, I do"

"Then I think, Mrs. Riley, that Ryan, Alex, and Kath-a-rine shouldn't be an exception to that rule, should they?" Marissa's eyes darted in my direction as she smirked. Yeah laugh while you still can, Marissa, because we are excused. Yeah, that's what you get for turning in your homework on time (for the most part)! Teachers tended to like you more.

"Ryan, Alex, and Kathy were excuse as I said before. Now if you don't mind I'd like to start class now." Mrs. Riley moved to the chalkboard. Go Mrs. Riley taking down Marissa. She should get a gold star for that move. "Now let's read silently for 20 minutes."

"But..." Marissa whined and was instantly blurred out by the sound of grunting and people shuffling through their backpacks for a book.

"Maybe next time 'Rissa!" I mouthed taking out an old battered book. Hmm, Super Diaper Baby, good the first time, great the second time, officially excellent the third time. Do you think Mrs. Riley would notice I had been reading the same book during silent reading for the last three months now? Probably not. And that was why Mrs. Riley was my favorite.

Chapter 5: The Secret Dream

Mashed up carrots? No. Macaroni surprise? Not likely. Extra sloppy Joe? Not going to happen. What was there to eat in this sad excuse for a cafeteria other than mush and slop?

I closed my eyes. And as I did the food came to life. There was steaming edible food that made your mouth whimper at the sight. A whole sea of ice cream, and a mountain of silk delicate chocolate richer than Oprah. A river of soda rushed through the surroundings of the food making a moat of towering endless treats. But when I opened my eyes, the moat did a Houdini and disappeared along with the rest of the food that kids could only see in their wildest dreams.

"Do you think it would kill the school to serve decent meals once in a while?" I asked Kathy as I stared at the monstrous food that looked as if it could eat you whole instead of you eating it.

"Just be glad you don't have to eat dinner here," Kathy replied as she cautiously reached out to grab the last piece of bread. She took the roll that looked as if it had been there for more than a week, and slammed it against the metal counter.

Ding

"Your not going to eat that, are you?" I questioned Kathy as we slid our trays off the grimy metal counter, making a screech.

"Why? Do you want it?" Kathy asked eyeballing the roll like it was a mutated marshmallow from the planet Eats-a-lot-a.

"You can say that. You never know when..." I started but was interrupted by a small cafeteria woman her hand reaching out at me. I was really tempted to give her a high five and run for it, but I was already on the verge of getting into trouble today.

"Two dollars and fifty cents, please," she announced with a plastered smile.

"Hold on," I told Kathy as I my hand dove into my pocket praying I would find something helpful, like I don't know, two dollars and fifty cents. "Let's see," I stalled until I felt thin crumpled dollars on the tips of my fingers. I pulled the trading devices out and ruffled through them, finding the correct amount. "One dollar...Two dollar...fifty."

"Thank you," the rosy-cheeked woman replied. After Kathy went through the same ritual that I had moments before, we continued with our conversation.

"As I was saying," I continued as Kathy and I left the hollow emptiness of the lunch line to the chaotic crowd of kids seated in endless rows of lunch tables. "You never know when you might have an urge to suddenly throw a stale piece of bread at someone."

"Whatever you say," she smiled as she grabbed the rock hard roll off her tray and dropped it with a thump onto mine. Clearly not taking me seriously.

"My life long dream has been completed." I glared at the bread.

"What... getting a stale piece of bread?"

"NO, getting the chance to do this." I shouted as I spotted Alex at the end of the table, three down from where I was standing. I snatched the bread from my tray and stretched my arm as far back as it could go, launching the roll across the room.

The bread flew with elegancy and grace above the many spectators. Eyes followed this magnificent sight. But suddenly the bread's path was blocked before it could get to its rightful destination of Alex's head.

If my life had a remote control this would be the part that people would play over and over again in slow motion. The roll spun in a circular rotation, tumbling like a mini Ferris wheel. But wait, what was this? A sudden figure popped into the roll's radar, and there was no turning back...

"NO! LOOK OUT!" I yelped in what seemed like slow motion.

"Wha..." He answered. But it was too late for that.

SPLAT

The tooth-breaking roll hit the back of Zak's head.

That was not supposed to happen.

"Oooohhhh!" The attentive audience gasped in reaction, right on cue.

"Hide me," I squeaked ducking for cover behind my temporary bodyguard, Kathy.

"No way, sorry, but your on your own sister," Kathy insisted pushing me right in front of the popular kid's table and more importantly Zak.

"Hey, what was that for?" Zak stood up. His eyes locked onto mine like a dart finding the target. I couldn't feel my feet or the rest of my body, for that matter, because as long as I was in the presence of the Zak I was truly a walking talking dummy.

"I'm talking to you," He waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention. But what he didn't know was that he already had all my attention.

The whole lunchroom had their eyes on us. There was a show and Zak and I were the main attraction. This only made me even more nervous, but I had to start talking or Marissa or Lara sitting at the table next to us gladly would.

"Um... Sorry... I... um..." I opened my mouth but all that came out were parts of words and fragments of sentences. This by far took the cake on the meter of today's embarrassment, anymore and it would be at immeasurable levels.

I could feel my palms sweating and my heart racing as if it was strapped into a race car. My mouth became drier than the air at a nursing home, while my throat was decreasing in diameter. Someone better get me out of the center of attention before I have a major melt down in front of the whole entire seventh grade.

"YEAH! You should be sorry! I guess your aim isn't as perfect as you thought!" Marissa shrieked, jumping out of her seat. She was the only person I've met that could speak in such a high pitch voice that you'd think she was talking to different life forms.

"You could have fractured his brain. He needs that to think you know!" Shouted Lara standing up right beside Marissa as expected. Not the most brilliant words that have come out of her mouth, but that wasn't the point. The point was that it hurt just the same.

I just stared right at Zak and his popular groupies. Watched them laugh in satisfaction without the least bit of mercy. Watch them with their perfect looks, their perfect friends. Watched and watched, until it hit me like, well, like a stale roll flying straight at my head.

Even though I despise the Pops and wished frequently that they would disappear to a far away land, I wanted to be them. I realized I had been holding on this thought tightly for the last few months. I secretly wanted to be popular for once. To be the one who was the center of attention, who got the best seats in the cafeteria, the one who basically had the power to run the school. The popular kids... the people I truly hated on the outside I wanted to be on the inside.

But only in a world where fantasies were true and dreams were realities would I ever be popular. With my looks, fashion, and clumsiness I would be lucky to be popular in a room full of Ryan clones. I wasn't even going to mention how the reactions of people, especially Alex and the baseball team, would just about ruin my life if I even had the slightest thought of becoming popular. If they found out my deep secret, they would laugh me off the team and the face of this Earth.

I snapped my eyes open, not realizing they were even closed, as a cold gentle hand tapped my shoulder blade sending unwanted chills down my body.

I turned around to the familiar face of Kathy. Her mocha eyes and curly brown hair calmed me of my panic state, wringing the nervousness out of me. But the sudden calmness made me realize what I hadn't already. All the eyes that were on me, had found other places to wonder. And all the people, mostly the popular kids, who had been standing, were now sitting, apparently more interested in the latest issue of their favorite magazine. I glanced back at Kathy with a puzzled look that a dog gave you when you ask it a question that it clearly didn't understand.

Kathy seemed to interpret my confusion. "I guess everyone just got bored of you staring out into space. Are you okay? You were like in your own little world for a while. What is this face anyway?" Kathy imitating me bugging her eyes out and stared into what looked like a mist of nothingness.

"I do not look like that!" I sneered changing from my dazed mood to an upset more alert one in the matter of seconds. "And anyway, I wasn't spacing out I was...thinking!"

"Yeah, right," Kathy commented clearly not believing a word. She started walking away, tray in hand, from the center of the cafeteria to look for a table that either didn't have a lot people, was cluttered with garbage, or smelt of cat puke. Finally after looking at all the options, not that there was a lot to choose from in the first place, she dropped her tray and sat on a bench. I followed her lead as she opened her mouth to continue to speak. "Now that I know that you are okay and everything, I don't feel bad about doing this."

Kathy took her index finger and her thumb and snapped them together on my left shoulder creating a painful pinch of my skin.

"OWWW! What was that for?" I asked as she looked at me as if I had the answer for the question I just asked. Okay I know I was smart and all, but why expect me to have all the answers to everything. Couldn't somebody else take a turn for a while?

"How could you be so dumb? Throwing the roll in a crowded room of people isn't exactly the thrill I was expecting to come with your life long dream! I mean you could have gotten in so much trouble! You still can get into so much trouble. Why not just put your name all over the walls confessing the error of your ways. That would be less revealing then throwing bread across the whole cafeteria. You're lucky that there happened to be no teachers or adults in the room that actually were paying attention and..." Kathy argued as raging saliva balls came flying from her mouth into the depths of my food. Now I'm definitely not going to eat my lunch.

I looked down at my soaked food from all the spit and cried out in the middle of Kathy's speech. "I don't know what I was thinking! It's not like I saw Alex and thought, yes stale roles, let's try and make target practice out of Alex's head! I never meant to do it at all! It was supposed to be a joke! What is everybody going to say now? I think I just labeled myself as the biggest dufus in the whole school." All the air in my lungs seemed to come out at once, "Stupid Alex, why does he need to have such a fat head! It's just too tempting!"

"Speaking of fat head himself..." Kathy muttered under her breath so the only person that could hear had to be in a one-foot radius.

Kathy twitched her head in the direction that I assumed Alex was coming in. I twisted my head in an awkward position trying to get the tiniest glimpse of him as he approached. But my attempt failed and I repositioned my neck in its normal direction and waiting for him to grace us with his presence.

"Ryan, smacking someone in the head with a roll only means you like them in the country of nonexistent-ville. You better give the message to Zak before he gets the idea that you hate his guts." Alex announced with unappreciated sarcasm. You know there was a time and place for everything and this was neither the time nor place for Alex to show off his talent of sarcasm. "Next time try and throw a little harder maybe you can send the message by knocking him out."

Alex threw his lifeless brown paper bag towards the side Kathy was on and slid his butt all the way down nearly touching her as he did. Kathy just greeted him with an expected sneer and the lecture that undoubtedly would come with it.

"Alex, nobody wants to hear your sarcasm! Ryan could still get into a lot of trouble for what she did. And for your information, that roll was intended for your head, not Zak's," Kathy screeched like a library cart coming to a sudden stop. Her voice was increasing in pitch and her cheeks changed from a calm tan to an abrupt pink.

"Are you kidding? Ryan isn't going to get into trouble! The only people who were paying attention were kids, kids that are our friends... well at least some. These kids are the last people on Earth who would want to be caught tattle tailing. You know what being a snitch could do to you here? Kids will taunt you for the rest of your life. At our high school reunion they will still remember. They'll be like, oh hi Bob, hi Jim, hi Jeff the-tattle-tail Johnson!'" Alex replied clearly not taking notice of Kathy's face turning a darker shade of pink with each word that came out of his unshuttable mouth.

"What do you know?" Kathy shouted making puddles of escaping spit.

"More than you," Alex responded clenching his shaking fists.

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

It was like before in the stairwell. Kathy and Alex were at each other's throats. I was beginning to get the feeling that Kathy and Alex just didn't get along that well. The explosion of spit bombs and red faces confirmed my theory. I really wonder how long they could go on like this before one of them ate the other's head off.

"Ryan what do you think? Who's right?" both Alex and Kathy asked in unison. I looked up from my downward view of the captivating spit puddles to the swelled red balloon face of Kathy and the wrinkled pug face of Alex.

"What?" I asked even though I knew perfectly well what they were talking about.

"BEEEEEEEEP"

The bell that ended lunch everyday seemed to come just at the perfect moment, cutting the argument short. As the ringing echoed throughout the cafeteria most of the seventh grade got off their butts and lazily walked out the doors to their next class. Some lagged behind talking to their friends or eating their last bit of PB&J before chucking the rest to the garbage which was starting to pile over.

The whole group of guys from the baseball team sat up on the same beat a couple moments after the bell rang. They pushed their way through the swarm of kids, purposefully going against the flow of traffic. As they passed the table where Alex, Kathy, and I sat they gave individual chokes of laughter with the occasional sneer as a bonus.

Alex and Kathy both stopped their argument, completely unaware of the commenting spectators, and picked themselves up to follow the crowd of kids out the door to go back to the second half of the school day.

Kathy, walking with some attitude in her step, jumped right up at the sound of the second warning bell. Probably glad she could get as far away from Alex as possible. I ran after her pulling at her shoulder as Alex walked by out the doors without the slightest glance.

"What?" she snapped still annoyed from Alex.

"Wow, cool down a bit." I said making deep breathing noises gesturing her to join me. She followed my instruction as we towards the steel doors of the cafeteria that seconds ago had been loud and full of life but now was as quiet as a ghost town. My eyes captured the dead scene of the unpopulated cafeteria, trying to preserve the rare quiet moment. Kathy, ignoring my slow actions, shoved her hands at the icy doors trying to push it open.

I took one last glance at the deserted room when something caught my eye. Something that shouldn't have been there like those puzzles that you had to figure out what wasn't right with the picture. Something...or someone. But the impatient-o-meter on Kathy blew up to the top like an exploding volcano, and averted my attention to the doors that she was basically banging on like a brand new drum kit, trying to push the door when there was a sign that clearly said, "pull".

"Here," I said to Kathy as I pulled the door open. Kathy watched as her faced morphed into an apologetic look.

We stepped out of the lunchroom to the hallways as Kathy replied calmly this time. "Sorry I almost bit your head off there. That Alex just gets me so...so...Ughhh!"

"Yeah I barely noticed," I laughed as we moved into the hallway. My hands were starting to shake, and I felt sweat beads starting to form. I needed to tell Kathy something, something that I had never told anyone before. Something that I barely could admit to myself. I needed to say it, before it ate me up inside and there was nothing left. "Kathy I have something to tell you..."

"Yeah what is it," she said as we pushed our way through the crowd of kids. I could tell she was trying her best to sound calm after her argument with Alex.

"What I'm about to tell you is top secret and you must not repeat it to anyone as long as you walk these hallways," I stated as I looked at the clock and realized I only had a few more minutes to our passing period until class.

"Of course," Kathy's anger immediately sizzled out at the seriousness of my tone. "You know you can trust me with anything."

"Swear not to repeat"

"I swear!"

"No you have to swear properly," I whined getting antsy looking up at the clock again. "Raise your right hand, and repeat after me...I swear"

"I swear"

"That what ever I do I will not repeat the following words ever to anyone in my life, even if I'm walking down the street and a man with a mohawk mistakes me for a secret agent and brings me back to his hidden layer in a basement of a fancy hotel and threatens me by tying my limbs to a pillar and rubbing a feather across my feet, which tickles very much by the way, and wont stop until he learns the deepest darkest secret that I promised my best friend in the whole world, Ryan, I would never tell and I wont even hesitate when saying that I am not able to say anything!" I waited a few moments while Kathy attempted to repeat the whole speech until she finally gave up and asked if we could pinky swear instead.

So we clasped pinkies and I made Kathy swear that she wouldn't tell. We released our binding oath and I quickly told her what has been on my mind.

I explained how I secretly wanted to be popular and how I was kind of jealous of the so-called fabulous lives of the Pops. I went on about how I wished I could be like them for one day. Walk through the school and have everybody listen to my every word for once. When I finished I expected her to be angry that I would even think of wanting to be popular.

But to my surprise, she just turned to me, suppressing a giggle. "Ryan, you are not the only person to feel like that! Almost every girl dreams of being popular! I mean, I have that thought at least once a month!"

I felt like melting. I put so much into keeping my inner Pops fantasy a secret that the moment I told someone and said the words out loud, it didn't feel like this big stress anymore. It wasn't a big deal!

Kathy twisted the familiar golden knob as she opened the classroom door once again to room 202. She glared at Alex as we passed him, and as only a polite 7th grader would do, he returned the glare back. She swept by him and took her usually seat in the back row and I took the empty one next to her as she whispered, "Popular people rule the school if you haven't noticed. I mean who in their right mind wouldn't want to be like them?"

Chapter 6: Bad Days are Made of This

As the bell rang signaling the end of school, my shoulders shrank, my grip loosened, and my posture regained its normal relaxed position. This day had to be the worst day ever in the history of worst day records. I'm not kidding! If you were to check out a book that was all about worst possible moments or events in one day, my name would be the title.

I grabbed my books off my desk in the back row and stood up realizing that I was the last student in the classroom. All the empty chairs and crumbled papers made the room feel much lonelier than it already was. It's okay Room, we'll find a friend for you!

I shot a glance at the front where Mrs. Riley was sitting at her desk. Her blue eyes staggered away from the paper work that was cluttered in front of her and strayed onto me. They looked as if they were fighting to stay focused on the paper but in the end the will faded and centered to the back of the room. The blue pool eyes gave a sad reflection as if to sympathize with me or maybe just to mock my pathetic-ness since that seemed to be everyone's favorite thing to do lately.

I managed to fight through the mess of scattered chairs and abandon desks. Being in the presence of Mrs. Riley actually made me feel calm. I know it sounded weird and you would think that teachers were the last people you would want to be near (especially when you didn't have to) but Mrs. Riley was different. She was the only person who made me feel normal anymore.

Mrs. Riley's smile widened as I brushed past the last few pieces of classroom furniture barricading the door. "See you Monday Ryan! Have a good weekend," Mrs. Riley's called out through the door.

"You too." I answered too late as the door had already closed. The wood made a huge hollow sound that vibrated through my body producing a shiver up my spine. Ignoring the chill, I snapped my head back to the door that a second ago had been opened. I wanted to see if Mrs. Riley heard me but when I looked I thought saw a shadow of a person that definitely was too small to be Mrs. Riley. Who was still in there...?

"You too what?"

"Whoa!" I wheezed gasping for air as I felt color drain from my face. I turned around to see Kathy who was leaning against the wall next to the door. You know you really shouldn't sneak up on someone like that! Especially when that someone was in the middle of their thoughts! I could have had a heart attack for cheese's sake! Or maybe it would be a Kathy attack, either way I still would end up leaning against the wall wheezing for air.

"Who were you talking to?" Kathy's eyes bugged in interest as my face went from a white ghost color to an appropriately acceptable shade of color.

As I regained my composure Kathy repeated her question, raising her eyebrows. I just shut my mouth and stared into the wall as if the concrete contained something remotely interesting on it. Like a piece of molded meat or maybe a secret passageway that lead to a secret chamber of secret mummies who could secretly attack you at any given secret moment.

"Hmmm...?" She asked again with emphasis in her interrogation. I really didn't want to talk and Kathy asking me a million times wouldn't change my mind. Maybe a million and one times, but not a million.

I bobbed my head in silence.

"Oh come on!"

"I was just talking to someone," I snapped picking up my strides as we headed towards the same staircase I fell down earlier. I would never last in an interrogation room! I give in way too easily.

"Okay, you don't have to get all defensive," Kathy responded with a tone of hurt in her voice. I knew Kathy didn't deserve my current attitude but being that my day made a garbage man's day smell like a bouquet of roses, I think I earned the right!

"I'm sorry Kathy. I just had a really crummy day, and..."

"We all had them sister," Kathy interrupted jumping the last two steps showing how she accepted my apology. "So do you want to talk about it...?"

"Ugh..." I took in a deep breath. "It's completely not fair. First on the bus Marissa and Lara were like 'look at what you're wearing. How could you go to school like that?' And even though I ignored them and I didn't care then, it's just making matters worse with them. Then in the cafeteria you saw what happened! Everyone in the whole entire 7th grade saw what happened for crying out loud. I basically was a dummy all day. And to put the cherry on top of the explosive ice cream sundae, in math class Mr. Daven collected homework that I didn't even do. All I did was make up problems and answers. And he was all like, 'Ryan making up imaginary questions and answers is like making a tree do tricks, it is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in this classroom. I'm very disappointed.' And then the baseball team probably thinks I'm the dufuiest dufus to walk the face of the planet. And I don't even want to know what Alex's thinks! And I didn't even get to eat lunch..."

Words were shooting out of my mouth ten million miles per second, which was faster than the legal word speed limit. All the worries and complaints that were piling up inside of me came tumbling out like an avalanche of fragments and thoughts. I couldn't stop either. Word after word. Problem after problem. Story after story. My mouth had a motor and wasn't running out of gas anytime soon.

"Okay, okay. Ryan slow down. It's okay," Kathy said patting my back like a mother would when burping a baby. I normally was good about controlling myself, but today had been so stressful, and my brain was going to have an literal explosion if I didn't say anything. There would have been enough brain juice to feed the whole population of the U.S. and some parts of Antarctica. That's a lot of brain juice!

"...And I don't know what to do because my dad thinks I'm crazy for playing baseball and then there's the popular thing..." My mouth just wouldn't give me a break today. Maybe next time I should call for re-enforcement, namely duct tape.

Kathy pulled at my shirt before I could turn the final corner leading to our lockers. I guess my pace picked up as fast as my word speed did.

"Whoa! Hold on there! Calm down Ryan. Okay, here. Why don't we hang out this weekend? I have...let's just say...a plan, yeah." I stopped right in my tracks for the first time since I left Mrs. Riley's classroom. My mouth was wide opened unable to say anything surprisingly. I just stared at Kathy and tried to think of what crazy plan she came up with this time.

Not to be rude or anything but when Kathy had a plan it usually consisted of running for a very long time, jumping down a dark scary hole, or missions to track down the occasional singing lama named Edward. Kathy's plans could be on the what-were-you-thinking side of things.

"I'll call you. Just leave Sunday free," Kathy ordered turning the corner and disappearing without letting me reply, not that I had a choice the way Kathy would see it.

I rushed over to the empty space surrounding my locker with more worries to fill me up than a stuffed burrito with everything in it. And I didn't even mention that I had baseball practice in about... right now. I was supposed to walk with Alex and the guys from school to the field. They probably are long gone by now.

Could this day get any worse? Don't answer that...

I spun the dial of my locker combo, and ripped open the metal door with more fury than the Hulk. But as soon as I did a bang echoed in the air circling around the hallways and right into my ears.

"Owwwww!" A muffled voice came from within my locker. Was it me or was my locker talking? Maybe it got sick of people trying to open and close it for so many years it had to say something? If I was a locker I would have slammed shut and never opened again. I mean, make up your mind! Do you want me closed or opened?

"Hello, locker..." I whispered not knowing exactly what to say to the metal trap.

"What was that meany trick for?" The familiar sound came again. I felt as if I swallowed my voice and threw it up all at the same time. My lips tightened as if they were being stretched apart, and I almost, and I mean almost peed in my pants...and that wouldn't be the first time...sadly.

I shut the door to my locker with more anger than I could hold in my body. First of all, anger that I had not just discovered the first talking locker of mankind. Second, anger that he was here again! Not now! I didn't have time for him or his weirdy, weirdness.

"Pete what are you doing here?" I nearly shouted glaring at his black night hair with un-matching dated clothes that looked as if he raided his grandmother's closet. Well at least we had one thing in common, we both had the unfortunate luck of dressing like each other today. Well, unfortunate for me at least.

"I tried to talk to you all day and have even been following you..."

"You've been following me all day!" I spat with more spit than I think was supposed to be in your mouth at one time. No wonder I thought I kept seeing someone in the shadows. All day I thought I was going insane and being more paranoid that usual, but no it was Pete! It had to be Pete. This stalking thing needed to stop! Nobody stalks me unless I tell them otherwise. "Don't you have better things to do?"

"Never ever in a zillion years, gumdrop!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh! I have absolutely no time for this!" My voice rasped out of breath from all the screaming. I picked up my sagging backpack from the floor and started to stomp away thinking about how I would possibly get to the field now. Like that was the least of my problems.

"See you at the semi-final game tomorrow, cupcake!" Pete sang his voice filling the hallways like the creepy tune of an ice cream truck. Cheesecake! I forgot about the game tomorrow. Coach was going to be furious when he noticed one of his "best" players (a.k.a. me) was missing. Hopefully being a girl will help for once in my life. I'll just make my puppy face and he won't be able to resist. Hopefully.

I shot through school like a racing pinball, past endless rows of lockers, over sheets of crumbled paper that resembled tumbleweed, and sprung out the door in the matter of seconds. If there were a world record for the fastest escape out of an educational institution, I would definitely win.

I was going so fast that I almost didn't notice Alex sitting on the curb throwing rocks into the street. I dragged my feet into the cement, imaginary smoke spurting from my heels as I tried to stop before I slammed into Alex.

"Ouch!" Alex moaned as I catapulted straight into his body. Sorry Alex, but if you are a pinball racing through time and space, you cannot just stop yourself. You need something to stop you. And that something just happened to be you.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to run into you like that. Why are you still here anyway? I thought you would have walked with the rest of the team," I pulled myself up and dusting off loose gravel from my pants.

"I was waiting."

"Waiting for who?"

"You." Alex went back to his rock flinging, and took a huge enormous rock skidding it across the paved road all the way to the sidewalk on the opposite side. "I called my mom to come pick us up so maybe we'll have a chance to make it on time if she gets here anytime soon. Next time my parents want me to be on time I'll just sit and laugh..."

"Alex that's the nicest thing anyone has attempted to do for me all day." I said getting a little on the mushy gushy side. But I didn't care! I had a horrible day and the slightest bit of good news made it seem not as bad. "Speaking of nice, here's your sweatshirt if you want it back," I continued taking off his sweatshirt he offered to me this morning. Even though Alex could be a hotheaded, stubborn, sarcastic know-it-all at times, he had his moments.

"Thanks," Alex replied as he started to grab the clothing, but took one look at me and handed it back. "You might need it for practice because if you're planning on wearing that Winnie The Pooh shirt, I seriously am acting like I don't know you."

Without commentary I gladly took the sweatshirt back dreading what practice would be like wearing a Winnie the Pooh shirt. I started to put the clothing over my head when a starling beep vibrated through my chest.

I pulled the hood of the sweatshirt down and saw a red mini-van parked just feet away from where we were standing. The car looked like a big lobster ready to surface from the shallow waters to the beach. The vehicle was a few years old, with paint rusting where scratches use to be and smears across the window. You could tell that this car had been through some troubling times.

Alex bounced right up, "I call shot gun."

I followed Alex to the lobster car, and snatched the door handle causing an abrupt sound of the automatic door. My body crumbled inside ready to take over the nearest seat. I was about to thank Alex's mother for the ride but was surprised when I saw her on a cell phone cradled between her shoulder and ear. She gave us a grunted hello and started to pull away.

"So...about today you seemed, well, a little off," Alex turned his head from the front seat, his mom still talking to someone named Deborah, I think. I didn't know what scared me more, Alex's mom distracted on her phone while driving, or the fact that I that I figure out a way to dodge a conversation with Alex that I didn't want to have right now.

"I just had a really bad day..." I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. Maybe crumbling up into a ball would protect all my secrets. "I just had a lot on my mind."

"So?" Alex gave a reaction that I wasn't expecting. Hello? I just told you I had an extremely terrible day and the best reply you can muster up is so. I mean, that is what you say if you are defending yourself in an insult battle, or an answer to what comes before la...not if you are trying to make somebody feel better. If you didn't care then the least you could do was lie about it. Spare my feelings please!

"SO?" I blurted out raising my eyebrows and kicking out my legs.

"Yeah so what! Who says you can't have a good afternoon?"

I was struck by the unexpected response. I looked out the foggy window, the grass and sidewalk blurring into a grey streak of color. Yeah, who says, I mouthed to myself. Alex for once had a point! Why couldn't I have a good afternoon! What was stopping me from making the rest of the day a great one? So what if I walked into the wrong classroom this morning, so what if I happened to make a fool of myself in front of the entire school, so what if Winnie The Pooh was my clothing choice today. So what! It didn't matter how much the beginning of the day stunk! The past didn't matter now, and shouldn't matter. "So what..." I smiled.

Chapter 7: The Race

Alex's mother was still on the phone with Deborah, her high-pitched voice shrilled with laughter every two minutes on schedule. I looked out the window at all the passing tress and bushes. A blur of green mixed with yellow and brown. Swirling in and out faster and faster like a rollercoaster ride that would never end. Hypnotizing me to say things that needed, not wanted to be said...

"What?" Alex asked.

"What, what?" I replied not having a clue about what "what" he was talking about. Excuse me, but if I was correct (which was maybe fifty percent of the time), didn't you use the word "what" usually when you misheard another person. And I definitely did not say anything. At least I didn't think I did...

"What were you mumbling about just a second ago?"

"I was not..." I stopped in mid-sentence as I suddenly remember vaguely saying something about talking to Kathy and our earlier conversation about popularity. How could I let something like that slip! I couldn't tell Alex about my secret! It wasn't the right time. If he knew...well then...I didn't know what would happen, but I was not telling him, I couldn't tell him, I won't tell him!

I've got to tell him!

I took a deep breath, sitting up straight. "Alex, hypothetically, what would you do if you could become popular? Hypothetically speaking of course."

"I'd hypothetically run off a cliff."

"No, I'm serious!" I kicked the back of his seat, annoyed.

"Hold on, Deb!" Alex's mom was still on the phone, "Hey kids do not kick in the car! Save that for the baseball field!" Wrong sport...oh well.

"Okay Mom, we know" Alex grunted, raising his eyebrows. He leaned in closer to me, half his body out of the front seat. "Why would you want to know anyway? It will never happen. It's not like one day Marissa, Lara, Zak, and all the other Pop's will have magical coconuts fall on their pea sized heads, and invite us to their popularity thrones to rule the school."

Alex's mom screeched on the brakes in front of the baseball field, almost causing Alex to smack his head against the dashboard. Thank goodness for seatbelts!

"Alex, you better be home on time today or else..." Alex's mom briefly got off the phone with Deb, and gave Alex a look that no child wanted to receive. It was like her eyes were that part in the scary movie where you knew someone was going to die. I really didn't want to stay in the car long enough to find out what "or else" meant so I grabbed my backpack and kicked the automatic door open. And before I could say thank you, Alex's mom was down the street.

I tugged at my bag as Alex barely got out of the van before it sped away. We entered the tall asparagus like grass. Alex and I got off the subject of popularity. I didn't want to press the popularity topic on him. Now was not a good time.

Would there ever be a good time?

Anyway, baseball was the more important issue at the moment. Especially since it didn't seem likely we were going to be on Coach's favorite list today. If the team beat us to the field it would look really bad if Alex and I were late. But judging at the distance they had to cover on foot we would probably get there first. Hopefully.

The tall grass seemed to go on and on. It was like one of those Halloween hay mazes that you always seemed to get lost in. The smell of moist dirt mixed with sweat filled my nostrils making me almost gag. Every little thing seemed more obvious and stood out. It's like I was walking through the tall grass for the first time.

Suddenly, the worries and nervous energy that came complimentary with a bad day sucked me in. I tired to block them out, think positive, but my worries grabbed me by the wrists, forced my thoughts to rotate to the dark side, reliving problem after problem. The quiet murmur of Alex's voice buzzed in the background while I spiraled in an invisible black hole of what I was going to do about become popular.

"...And so if you can hit five homeruns tomorrow, make all the outs by yourself, then I think we can definitely scare them so much they'll have no choice but to forfeit in the first twenty minutes. So is that a plan or what?" Alex turned to me before existing the tall grass to the field.

"Yeah, plan, right," I agreed not being able to form a complete sentence. My face was a blank portrait as I tightened my grip on my backpack.

"Are you okay?" Alex's voice snagged as he pushed down the weeds so I could get to the other side. I climbed over, and as my view cleared I was surprised to see an empty field. Nobody was there except Coach who was over by the fence looking down at his clipboard with a pencil in hand. Probably making last minute decisions on who was going to play based on who was the most punctual.

Alex must have just noticed the situation like I did because his face lightened like a sparkler and mouth curved into a grin. "Yeah! We made it before the team! We're not going to get in trouble! Yes, take that suckers!"

Alex jumped up and down, shaking his butt without music. I laughed for the first time all day. It was that belly bursting kind of laugh. I closed my eyes in pain, rolling on the ground, trying to get it together. I finally caught my breath and I looked over Alex's shoulder with squinting eyes, quickly swallowing my giggles.

"Alex sorry to ruin your fun but..." I announced pointing a finger in the direction of a huge mob of guys that had baseball mitts and bats fastened safely in their hands.

"Oh, it's on," Alex's face changed from a goofy smile to furrowed eyebrows, and a smirk. He whipped his backpack onto his shoulders and bent his knees into a running position. I copied him realizing what he was about to do.

If the baseball team got to the Coach before Alex and I did then they would make up a story saying something bad about why we weren't with them which would get us benched for the game tomorrow. Even though I was very important to the team in the category of winning, Dan would do anything to have his own selfish glory. The whole team would never agree with Dan but nobody would have the guts to stick up to him. Even if he was wrong.

"Ready?" Alex asked bending his knees low enough to scrap the ground.

"Set?" I replied, the baseball team was across the street still unaware of our position.

"GO!" Alex shouted right when the team turned the corner.

Alex and I ran faster than a racecar driver who found a bee in his helmet. Wind passing through our ears so all sound washed away and I could only hear the beat of my heart. My backpack thumped against my skin with each step as my lungs burned with the sharpness of my breath.

I snapped my head in the direction of the baseball team only to get a glance at about nine guys mimicking our movements and racing their way down the street. Bats were clinging, and mitts were sweeping. This was officially a race and Alex and I were not going to lose.

Not. A. Chance.

"We can't let them beat us!" I choked as Alex sprinted into a higher gear in response. I followed by his side panting, nose running, face hot with sweat as I looked over my shoulder to see if the team had caught up with us.

"You guys aren't going to make it!" A boy screamed from amongst the bobbing heads of the team. They were level with us but on the other side of the street. The field was about three house lengths away. The team crossed the street not even looking for cars coming their way. I dug my toes into the dirt, jammed my nails into my skin from making a fist, and bit my lip to push myself to run as fast as humanly and alien-ly possible.

Shouts rang into the air like fireworks. The team was getting close. They were already on the same side of the street as us, stepping in the same tracks that I had just engraved seconds ago. Both Alex and I, with the same curiosity, twisted our heads backwards only to be greeted by the grunts and roars of the team right behind us.

The field was only feet away. I pushed with all the umf I had left in me, sprinting pass the fence that bounded the field. Unable to stop at the speed I was going, unable to stop destiny, I slammed into the gate of the dugout where Coach happened to be sitting.

"What in the world is going on here?" Coach grunted startled by the noise of my body coming in contact with the metal of the gate.

Wow, the accomplishment of getting here before the team should have felt better than this I thought sarcastically as I peeled myself off the fence like a wet band-aid. Man, I was going to feel that in the morning and probably the morning after that too.

"Coach! Coach!" roared a chorus of voices. The sound of raging footsteps coming in contact with the ground came closer and closer like a stampede of wild animals. Please don't bang into me! Please don't bang into me!

My prayers must have been answered because Coach flew out of his seat, face wrinkled, and lifted his right hand as if he was directing traffic.

"STOP!" Coach's deep voice shouted out as if suddenly inherited the super power to produce thunder from his mouth. The shouts, cries, and whines of the team all ended at once as if they all had come down with the same contagious form of laryngitis.

"Everyone quiet!" Coach's arms sliced the air as if he was a butcher cutting up delicate deli meat. One by one each boy took a seat on the bench. I froze, still glued to the metal gate, zoning out until Coach shouted my name and I scurried into the dug out like a mouse being chased by an unforgiving cat.

I slid next to Alex on the end of the bench which sagged even lower to the ground in response. It's okay bench, the weight of Dan's big ego is a lot to take on. Everyone on the team bent their heads down ready to take on Coach's wrath.

"Now am I coaching second graders or am I coaching seventh graders here? Please remind me because I seem to have forgotten from your behavior. Don't think I don't have eyes or ears of mine own. I see things and hear things that have not been unacceptable for any team of mine."

Coach's face was turning an unflattering purple-red. Almost like Barney, but definitely scarier. Maybe he could pass for Barney's evil twin Rodney who had the head of Barney, and the voice of Darth Vader. Now that would be scary.

"We have a semi-final game tomorrow and I'm tempted to forfeit if none of you can show me the way young men and one lady should act!" Coach was pacing up and down the bench. His eyes were skull grey. Coach would never give up a game just like that, especially a semi-final one! It's against his coach-ly methods! The team all gave groans and complaining whines in response to what the Coach had said.

"Okay then, if you can show me that you guys can work together as a team, then, and only then, will I reconsider," Coach grunted in his "calm tone" which wasn't exactly that calm. Only if you consider grinding teeth, clenched fists, and scratchy voices to be calm. Then yeah, I guess it was calm. As calm as spa day at the senior center.

We showed our understanding by nodding our heads, the bench sinking lower as we did. One day Dan's ego was going to get way too big for this bench, and it will totally collapse. I just hoped it happened when I was there to witness it.

"Now let's get out there and start practice the right way! Ready? Heaters on three..." The Coach sang as the energy level sprang from a two to an unbelievable ten and three quarters. The surge of energy was like a lightening bolt. Everybody shot up, and ran to Coach to form the best circle we could muster. Which looked more like a blob. Not feeling the new bolt of energy I gradually got up, and dragged my cleats to the clump.

I couldn't say I was too excited about practice or even playing in the game tomorrow. If I did I would be lying and nobody wanted that to happen especially when my lying techniques usually consisted of, well, not being able to lie.

"One"

I still had so much on my mind including the popularity issue, Kathy's so called plans for Sunday, and Pete who elected himself as my one-nerd-fan-club. I didn't even know how I would be able to focus when my brain was floating around in a polluted ocean of problems.

"Two"

And on top of that everyone will be counting on me to win the game for them tomorrow. How was I supposed to focus on winning a game if I couldn't even manage to focus in the first place? Pete would be more useful playing tomorrow than I would if I couldn't piece myself together. Please someone get the superglue, this might take all night.

"Three"

War cries filled the air like a sudden gun shot, arms waved strong, and muscles tensed. Then, just like the lightening that boosted the energy level, they were gone. Running to their positions, their rightful place on the field.

A dust of sand and gravel replaced their presence, swirling around like a mini-tornado out in the open field., leaving me in the dust. Gone! Leaving me in a state of confusion, anxiety, worries, and of course the added pleasure of dirt in my eyes. I shook my head, and ran into the dust storm.

Chapter 8: What is Normal?

"And I expect every single person on this team to come with the same attitude that you showed today. Now go home, get some rest and be here no later than 8:50am! Ready? Heater's on three. One. Two. Three. Heaters!" The team dispersed from their blob circle shouting and screaming encouraging words. I just stood. Not yelling. Not screaming. Not really doing anything, but breathing (just barely).

As you probably could tell practice went how I knew it was going to go. Bad. Not good, not okay, not even satisfactory. It was just plain out put-me-in-a-box-with-a-stamp-and-send-me-to-out-of-the-country kind of feeling. And that's the worst kind!

I snatched my backpack from the bench and yanked it over my shoulders. My body produced an uncontrollable shudder all they way down my spine.

"Hey Ryan!"

I turned around from the metal bench to see Alex who looked as if he took a face plant into a pile of mud from all the dirt that covered him. He smiled from across the field waving a friendly hand. Even though I felt angry, and upset I couldn't help but smile back. But the smile quickly faded as my body rejected all forms of positivity and was replaced by a cold straight line.

"Hey what?" I answered flatly as I dragged my feet out of the comfort of the lonely dugout and out into the open where everyone could see me, and my hurt pride. Someone better find a bandage soon or all my pride might gush out like an open wound.

I glanced up at Alex whose voice called for me again urging me to hurry up. But my legs and feet had a mind of their own, not letting me go any faster than a snail in a wheelchair.

I finally gave in, walking towards Alex, passing the team that looked like a herd of animals gathered around the watering hole, their voices booming through the field. Echoes like one big earth cracking sound bringing the dead grass of the outfield to life. I knew they were talking about me. I felt it in the air somehow. The way they stole looks from each other, and mumbled. I felt it deep inside. Sometimes you just sensed those types of things.

"Do you smell something?" Dan shouted so everyone could hear including me. My possessed feet stopped right in the mud of the infield. I had no idea what Dan was talking about and I had no intention of staying and finding out, but my feet unfortunately weren't connected with the same thinking process as my brain. My feet just wouldn't move, stuck like a stick in the mud. Very thick, annoying mud by the way.

"No, what?" answered a player from within the mob.

"It smells like the stench of a crappy baseball player," Dan snapped as the air filled with the roar of laughter, like a poisonous gas circling around, and around, suffocating me under a thick coat of humiliation.

"I hope she gets benched tomorrow. Hey, Ryan save a seat for your boyfriend Pete. You two can cheer us on together!" Dan continued. All the players on the team turned their heads towards me at the same time. It was the plane crash everyone was waiting for. An explosion. Each comment was like another disaster. All aimed at me. And the sad part was, I agreed with Dan. With my lack of focus today, and the performance I gave, I didn't deserve to play tomorrow. But that didn't give the right for Dan to point that out. That didn't give Dan any right...

My fist tightened, and I opened my mouth to defend myself but remembered what Coach had said about forfeiting the game if he saw or heard anything that was "questionable" behavior. But Coach wasn't around now, and what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him or me for that matter.

But before I could say anything a salty hand went over my mouth preventing any sound from escaping. I tried to bite it but stopped when I realized whose hand was acting like a muzzle over my mouth. Alex pulled his hand away wiping it off on his pants. He tugged at the back of my shirt, "Don't say anything you might regret."

I couldn't believe this!

Alex was going to let them say all those nasty jokes about me! What kind of friend did that? I mean if our positions were reversed, I would have smashed their faces into their heads right about now.

"What, are you scared? Are you chicken? Chicken in a potpie! Come on I dare you! Give me your worst!" Dan whistled through his teeth getting closer to my face! Okay, I've seen meat tougher than you so don't think for one minute you're actually intimidating.

"I...Hey!" I inched closer to Dan, but was suddenly caught off balance from Alex gripping my arm and yanking me away from the mob. My fist still balled up, my knuckles white.

Dust sprang from the earth as my feet engraved a trail into the sand. I tried to fight Alex's grip as I heard the team erupted with thunderous laughter, but his nails dug into my skin and his strength, I hated to admit, was too powerful. Okay Alex you better have a good explanation for this because if not, well then, no more Miss-Nice Ryan.

"Hey what was that for?" I asked when he finally released of my arm when we were a good distance from the field. I took my arm and shook it out. Maybe my anger would shake out with it.

"Do you really want to give Dan the satisfaction of getting on your nerves? Once he finds that he's bothering you, he'll keep picking and picking until there's nothing left. Do you really want that to happen?" For the first time since the baseball field, Alex faced me. His eyebrows furrowed, and his voice cracked. We were at the entrance of the tall grass and all I wanted to do was disappear in the maze.

I guess Alex had a point or two... or three or even maybe a line of infinite points. This was so not fair! I really hated it when I was wrong. But Alex was absolutely correct. Dan wanted me to feel bad. He wanted me to react, to do something stupid and get kicked out of the game tomorrow. He wanted me to break down, and become vulnerable. Dan just fed off other's weakness. If I responded he would have chewed me up and spit me out like yesterday's meatloaf. Yesterday's moldy meatloaf.

"Fine. You're right. Happy now?" Ugh, I hated being wrong!

"Yes actually I am!"

"Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoy my pain." I laughed, nudging him in the shoulder. Alex yet again saving me from not only getting torn down by Dan, but possibly getting benched. I guess my luck had changed after all.

We walked through the beanstalk like grass with silence covering us like a heavy sheet of snow. It wasn't a bad silence though. It was more of a reassuring, comfortable silence. Silences that only came so rarely that you couldn't help but enjoy it. Silences that only good friends could experience. But what were silences if they couldn't be broken, especially with an awkward, random, and slightly annoying question.

"I hate to ruin the mood and everything, but what was up with you at practice anyway?" Alex asked, bending back a huge branch as the tall grass started to fade to not so tall grass. I knew he was bound to ask me that question. It was like seeing an old lady with gray curly hair shuffling out of a tattoo parlor, balancing on a walker with tennis balls shoes. You knew you shouldn't ask, but you had to eventually.

"I told you before I have a lot on my mind." I squinted, trying to physically suppress all my problems down a deep dark trap door in my mind. Why didn't people believe me when I told them the truth? Trust me, if I do lie, it would be way more obvious.

"What could possible be so important that you totally lost all focus at practice? I mean you looked as if you never played baseball in your entire life, no offence," Alex said as he planted his feet onto the sudden visible sidewalk waiting for a reply.

"I don't know," I mumbled sounding like a kid who just broke a window and was asked if they knew what happened. I should tell Alex the truth, but no offense to him, I didn't think he could handle the truth. When I was telling him about the popularity topic before, he was joking about it, making fun of it. If I told him what was really on my mind he wouldn't believe me. Or worse he would believe me and never want to speak to me again. I think I rather walk straight into a closet, be sucked into a black hole that led to Antarctica, and live in a igloo with a ten foot tall bald snowman, than tell him the truth.

At least for now. Alex was not ready and neither was I.

"Okay. I won't ask again. Sorry, I was just wondering." Alex looked somewhat annoyed that I didn't trust him enough to say what was going on. But he instantly changed his attitude, cracking a smile on his face. "Anyway, I have to go. You heard what my mom said when she dropped us of, don't be late or else. Or else what is what I'd like to know!"

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the game," I started heading the opposite way of Alex. The shrieks of his impression of his mom echoing down the street. Oh Alex, stick to baseball because you definitely do not have a career in comedy.

"And Ryan..." Alex yelled from a distance. I turned my neck to see a little dot at the other side of the street.

"Yeah?"

"Bring you're A-game tomorrow!"

"How about B or C or even D game. Can we settle on Z?" I yelled back at the dot, watching it disappear down the corner.

It was easier said than done, though. I couldn't just forget about all my thoughts unless I found a way to block them. Lock them up like a captured princess and put them in a chamber in the tallest tower of my mind. But how was I supposed to do that? There should be a rulebook on how to make your worries disappear. Maybe I could just hire someone to worry for me...?

I strained the last bit of energy I had to climb up the slant of my driveway. The night brought a soothing coolness that the day could not provide. I could just picture my dad greeting me at the door, and repeating the same speech as yesterday. I didn't think I could handle another night of "disappointment" for coming home in my baseball stuff. This was going to be fun!

I swung the door open faster than a 90 mph pitch in the major leagues. The sound snapped at the night like a mother would when she found out her kid ate all the cookies she just baked. Lights from within my house lit the whole driveway like a burst of flame. And from within the flames was a person. And not a happy person.

"Where were you?" growled a familiar and very much unwanted voice at this moment. His face was red hot, with specks of white dots. I knew from experience that this was my dad's don't-sass-me-or-I-will-shout-until-I-become-hoarse look. Not so pretty I might add.

"Nowhere." I mumbled under my breath hoping he didn't hear me because if he did I would be over my head in chores for the next, lets see...hundred years...or more if I was still alive.

"Were you out playing baseball again? What have I told you? Didn't we have this conversation the other day ago? Were you...?" My father spat questions out of his mouth, shooting like a loose cannon. It didn't matter that I was not even in the house yet. Questions were spiraling out of control, and I must have had a bulls-eye marked on my forehead, because every one of them was aimed at me. Next time I come home from practice I'm climbing through the loose board in the fence, up the vines of our dead garden, and onto the second story into my window. I'd rather move through that obstacle than have another go of yelling match 2.0 in the future.

"Hold on, what did you say again?" I asked as something caught my attention. Something that wasn't apart of his usual programmed speech. Something that actually went through my ear, stop in its usual path through the other ear, to take a detour to my heart. A small detour to the usual road trip. Maybe I misheard, misunderstood, maybe I mis-anything-ed.

"You heard me. I said why can't you just be normal? Dress more like a girl, go to dances, maybe put on some make-up, and fix yourself up. Instead of playing in the mud and dirt..." My father had said enough. He told me this loads of times before. But this time it was different. This time I had gone through the worst day in history of worst days thinking about this same question. This time it really hit hard like a baseball to the gut.

This time it meant something to me.

And for that same reason even though I didn't like to admit it, my eyes started to water. And for me to ALMOST start crying, emphasis on the almost, was saying a lot. But I couldn't show that my dad had actually gotten to me, or else he will see that his strong, tough daughter actually did have feelings that could be broken into microscopic pieces.

I turned my head into a shadow within the wall and waited until he was done. Waited until he said what he needed to say. Waited, and waited until he left the room, happy that I actually stayed for his whole speech this time. But what he didn't know was that as soon as he finished I ran right to my room, shut the door, and fell onto my bed like a collapsing bird that took off from its nest before it could fly.

My mind was confused.

I didn't know what, how, or when to think. I felt more helpless than ever. It seemed like everyone knew what they wanted me to do, but I didn't know what I wanted. Alex wanted me to play baseball, Kathy wanted to help me change my look for popularity, my dad wanted me to act more like a "girl", the Pops wanted me off the face of this Earth, and Pete just wanted me. But what did I want?

I stared at the clock watching the seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, until the clock finally read 10:00 pm. Tomorrow, Saturday, I had a semi-final baseball game that I couldn't be less prepared for. And I didn't know how I was going to get through that mess especially with my mind in the clouds. And I didn't even want to think about Sunday and the plans Kathy supposedly had for me.

But I couldn't do anything about it right now. All I could do was wait. Just wait and hope things worked out for the better or even for the slightly better.

Chapter 9: Bad News Bears

If I told you that I woke up at 5:00 am, got dressed in my baseball clothes, ate soggy cereal, took two human sized pillows and shoved them under my Scooby-doo covers, hid all evidence that I even was up, and escaped out my window on the second floor, with the James Bond theme song playing in my head all in under ten minutes, would you believe me?

Me neither...that's why I wrote a note telling my parents that I went to the library to study. Sounds more believable than the James Bond one.

And technically I wasn't lying to them. The piece of paper that I wrote telling them that I'm going to the library did all the lying. They couldn't prove that I wrote it. For all they know an alpaca barged into our house at midnight and scribbled the message for their own selfish reasons. Alpaca's are very smart you know.

Anyway, I got out of the house unnoticed and on my way to baseball once again. Even though I totally stunk up the field yesterday at practice and Coach was probably polishing a seat for me on the bench, I'd rather be at baseball. I just didn't know if baseball felt the same way about me right now.

My dirt soaked cleats finally stepped over the last piece of tall grass and into the open field. Nobody was here. Not even a parent or one of the coaches. Just me and my lack of time telling skills. Next time I leave the house I'm looking at the digital clock.

I made my way to the empty bleachers, and took a seat. And waited and waited some more and waited until I gave up on waiting and tried to entertain myself by counting all the clouds in the sky. But that didn't really work when the particular sky you were looking at was occupied by only one big fat cloud.

Crunch

I whipped my body from its lying position, and perked my ears up like a dog who heard the slick movements of a cat. I could have sworn that I heard a something. Movement, steps, weight snapping down on dead grass...something.

"Gummy Bear, I told I was coming to your game! Don't you remember?" The voice slithered into my ear sending a zap under my skin and throughout my body. My stomach dropped hundreds of feet into a crater, and my throat dried into a raisin.

I think I might be cursed.

"Why?" I whined looking up at the sky wishing that the one cloud would multiply into a 10,000 clouds creating a massive storm that would float me all the way to an unknown island where I could start my own civilization and be free of that annoying, little...

"Why, what silly?" Pete's voice sounded like a combination of a rusty flute and someone with too much phlegm. He tripped over his legs, trying to climb up the bleachers next to my stone like body that felt like it was about to crumble at any moment. This couldn't be happening! Why was he here? Why was he sneaking up on me all the time? And why am I asking myself all these questions?

"Pete, I thought I told you never to follow me again! How many times do I have to repeat it for it to make sense?" The rage started bubbling inside my stomach. But I didn't care. I didn't! Because right now Pete was here and in two seconds he should be flying over the Atlantic Ocean on a magic carpet singing Marry had a little lamb, if I had any say in it.

"I could never ever get tired of hearing your pretty heart melting voice," Pete turned his head towards me, batting his eyelashes as if he had a small bug stuck in his eyes. Maybe he should see a doctor and get the heck away from me!

"OHHHHHHHH!" I groaned as Coach and the rest of the team emerged from the safari like grass. They looked like pack mules with the amount of equipment wrapped around their bodies. Each with a bat, helmet, gloves, cleats, and the occasionally water bottle to top it off.

My stomach lurched again as my eyes shot from Pete's bucktooth beaver smile to the team, and back to Buck Tooth Boy. My palms started dripping cold sweat, and my teeth clattered to a beat. If I didn't end up fainting, then and only then will I consider myself lucky. If there was a such thing as luck.

The Coach came, the Coach saw and the Coach dragged my sorry butt to the lonely, pitiful looking bench to watch the whole team have all the action. It was like the team was a vacuum. Sucking up all the fun, leaving me only the hope of an occasional foul ball to keep me entertained! What a bunch of fun-suckers!

All I could do was look through the wired fence and wish I were out there throwing a ball to second or sliding in the dirt. Even the slightest grime under a microscopic piece of fingernail would have been enough reassurance for me.

But at least when you were on the bench you could actually have time think. Think about anything you wanted. About what you were going to do when you got home or what you were going to get your cousin's brother's friend's mother's daughter that you barely knew, for their birthday.

But when the thoughts start to bubble in your stew of brain soup, then anything could happen. Any thought just might pop out and say hello. And no matter how many times you had told the thought to go away it would keep coming back. Like a pesky mosquito on a humid summer day. And when one thought came out then more thoughts follow and soon it was a whole party of thoughts that nobody invited and were starting to wreck your home!

By the end of the 9th inning my head felt like it swelled and weighed twice as much. But my aching head was no comparison to the Coach's face which looked like a big red tomato in a spicy Mexican dish.

The scoreboard told no lies.

We were down three points and losing. And not only were we losing, we were losing to a team called the Butterflies. THE BUTTERFLIES! How could a team with an insect name (one that didn't even bite or have poisonous venom) beat us? We weren't even losing anymore! We had come to the point of rock bottom, drowning in a pool of our own pathetic tears.

I guess I was actually glad I wasn't playing. I mean, I couldn't complain. My face didn't have defeat written all over it (unlike all the other players), my bench was cool and refreshing under my bottom, and I made a beautiful sand design with my cleats. The bench was the place to be these days! There was no pressure of being the best and making the play, nobody yelling at you to throw a ball. It was a safe zone. My safe zone and nobody could change that...

"You're in!"

What? I stiffened up from my head to toes. My pulse shot up and down like a super ball slammed to the ground, my eyes sharpening with intensity. The clatter of cleats scraping at dirt, and the banging of metal bats all seemed to fade into the background.

But I wasn't ready...

"We need you!" The Coach erupted pointing a shaking finger at the bats. "You're up Ryan"

This was it, my chance to proof myself! Bases were loaded, and if I could hit a homerun we would win! My body responded before my brain did, like it was a robot automatically programmed to Coach's voice. I sprang off the bench pass the sagging faces of the team, and ran to the bats. The metal cold on my fingertips. I picked up the closest one and without taking a second guess, I ran to the on deck circle, swallowing my pride.

But as soon as I entered the field, I froze. Numbness took my body as prisoner. My adrenaline turned to fear, and my confidence burned like newspapers. Right to ash.

The outlined on-deck circle seemed to close in, getting smaller and smaller by the second. The players on the other team looked as if they grew ten times bigger in mere seconds. Shouts rang into my ears and bounced around in my head, creating a massive headache. I can't do this! I CANNOT DO THIS!

"Batter up!" The umpire grunted, repeating himself for third time.

The bat in my hands shook violently. I looked like an ax murder that just got out of jail and was handed a bat. The more anxious I got, the more the bat shook, and the more of an idiot I looked like.

"Don't miss!" Dan yelled from behind the wired fence. It was like a domino effect. Dan had triggered the crowd. A blast of cheers, comments, and a few threats, I might add, circled the field. I tried to swallow my vomit.

My knees buckled and shook just as violently as my bat. I stepped out of the on deck circle with pools of sweat pouring down the side of my face. My lips dried up and my tongue felt like someone tied it into 100 knots. Each step I took towards the batter's box increased in difficulty. My cleats felt like they were going to jump off my feet and walk into the dugout without me.

But as soon as I entered the batter's box, all movement, all distractions seemed to blur out. The only thing I could hear was a high-pitched buzzing in my ears. My helmet shading my vision so that it was just the pitcher and me. I was in my own little bubble. Nobody could distract me, nobody could tell me what to do. Not even Pete's girly-man voice that was cheering me on could get my attention. This was my bubble.

And everything would have worked out except, that is, my bubble...it burst. Popped by the sharp point of my worries and problems that never seemed to go away. They started pouring in by the dozen. Images of faces started to blind me. Words appeared out of nowhere; popularity, Pete, Dad, Zak, Alex. All these problems, all these issues, I was sick and tired of hearing myself complain. Sick and tried of everyone telling what was best for me when I couldn't answer that question myself! I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

BAM!

Without intending or realizing it my bat swung with the most power and speed that I ever felt race through my veins. The anger and frustration of my thoughts flew away in the form of a beaten, off white baseball. A baseball that was still in the air flying over the other team's dropped jaws.

"Run Ryan!"

Shouts of joy electrocuted the audience as I suddenly remembered I was in a baseball game, and sprinted to first base. The players already on the bases doing the same. Dirt scraping flew off my cleats, and legs extending as I rounded first on to second with the ball still in midair. Adrenaline pulsed through my body, shooting through my legs and arms, causing me to almost trip over second while I fought my way to third. The ball was on the ground as the outfield scooped it up and shot it to home plate where I was headed.

The ball reached the catcher's mitt at home but my body was too energized and not ready to stop at third. I dug my nails into my skin, shouts coating the background, fits pounding on the fence, spit flying in every direction. I headed to home plate watching the catcher's fat face convert into a smirk holding out his mitt which already had the ball in it. I was not going end it here. I couldn't let this catcher tag me out!

I leaned back into the ground, sliding my legs within the grime and dirt. My hair swirled, caked with mud and sweat. Dust filled the air like a mushroom cloud and when it cleared a huge roar came from the team that an inning before was ready to quit.

"Safe!" The umpire shouted waving his pig like arms in a horizontal fashion as he saw the tip of my cleat was clearly under the shaking hand of the catcher.

Cheers exploded like firecrackers on the fourth of July. The Coach and the guys on my team were jumping and swinging each other around like they were square dancing experts.

The catcher slammed his mitt harder on my cleat probably thinking that if he put more pressure on my foot the umpire would change his mind. The catcher's marshmallow figure seemed to deflate, and the Big Bad Butterflies shrunk their shoulders and covered their faces with disappointment.

My head felt like a spinning top. I couldn't comprehend what just happened. Was that me that just hit a game winning home run with bases loaded or was a pretty convincing imposter?

But before I could give a second thought, the guys, Coach, and even Pete stormed out onto the field like a pack of wild beast to congratulate me. The team swung my body on top of their shoulders and starting singing in excitement.

I was flying through the air, higher than any human could go. I felt like a hero, no even better, a superhero. Ryan the "home run hitting" superhero! I could do anything and everything. Hitting home runs faster than the speed of light. And my advertised motto would be, "Don't fear, the talented home running Queen of all the home runs in America and some parts of Canada, is here!"

After the team circled the field as many times as they could without dropping me flat on my face, they halted and put me down gently in front of the plate where all the excitement started. For a second I thought that they wanted me to do some kind of worship to "plate" since it brought us so much good fortune. But everyone just congratulated me one more time, and went to the bench to pack up their stuff and leave.

As soon as the team dispersed to the bench, Alex came rushing over. His face was brighter than a sparkler. His hair, like mine, was caked with the mud, dirt, and other random unknown particles.

"You're so amazing you know that! You saved the team from destruction of a bomb...tick...tick...BAM," Alex said as he came within feet of me.

"Yeah, and I thought I was in a slump. When I got up to the plate, I felt so over whelmed with my parents, especially my dad trying to get me not to play baseball, with the issue of me becoming popular, with the whole team counting on me, and..."

"Hold on...wait a sec...what did you say?" Alex asked abruptly, a crease forming in between his eyes.

Oh my Cheese Louise meets Dark Vader at a six-year-old's birthday party! I couldn't believe what I just did...How could I be so stupid? I could not believe my fat-humongo-seven-sizes-too-big-of-a-back-stabbing-mouth just let go one of my deepest darker than night itself, secrets!

"Um...I said that I was overwhelmed about my dad not letting me play baseball..." I repeated as I felt blood rush to my face. You know how I really stink at this thing called lying? Yeah, it would be an excellent time to not be.

"No the one after that!" The crease got deeper Alex's face.

"Um...the whole team was..."

"No the one in the middle!" Alex nearly shouted. I could feel the irritation inside of him growing faster than any plant known to man. His eyes seemed to shoot right through me as if he had the power to read my mind. I couldn't tell him now! I couldn't tell him ever! He was not going to get it out of me. Only if he chained me to a railroad, dressed me in a pink tutu, took a picture, threatening to show the world, then and only then maybe I will spill my guts. But until that happens, I was not going to tell him! I'll be as thick as a tree, strong as a stone...

"Tell me what you said." Alex breathed, looking straight into my soul.

"I want...to become...popular," I mumbled in a voice that even I couldn't understand and I'm the one who said it. So much for being strong.

"What?" Alex's eyes were like darts, the crease between his eyes was shaking.

More blood rushed through my body. My head was throbbing with pain and my knees felt like they could give out at any moment. I could feel the sweat start to collect under my arms as if there was a pool party, and all the "cool" blobs of sweat were there!

"I want to become popular!" I almost shouted at Alex. My eyes that had been looking at my dirt caked cleats finally made contact with Alex's blazing eyes. I suddenly cringed and I wished I could melt right in the sand. Gulped into the dirt like a hungry sandtrap. My whole body felt like Jell-o on a boiling, 98-degree day. Slimy, and wobbly with the slight scent of cherry.

"How could you even think of think of being popular? What is going through your brain? Are you crazy? What..." Alex exploded like a marshmallow that was in the microwave for a second too long. His face seemed to swell, and his eyes turned a slight pink. It was a good thing Alex and I were the only ones left on the field because if someone saw the condition he was in they would have thought life-size talking salmon from outer space were let loose in the neighborhood...again.

"Alex can't you just support me in the things I want to do! So what, if I want to be popular! So what if for just ONE DAY I want to know what its like!" Now it was my turn to get mad. Why should Alex have a special license to be the only person angry in this situation! I mean why couldn't he just accept that I had goals in my life, and one of them was to be popular!

"I can't believe you! The Pops are everything we are against!" Alex started to pace back and forth, detaching grass from the roots as his cleats dug into the ground. His hands were stiff, connected to his sides as if someone accidently sewed them into to his shirt.

"Well, I can't believe you!" My breath snorted out my nose. "You won't even give them a chance!"

"Give them a chance? Oh, like they gave you a chance on the bus the other day. 'Oh Alex, why didn't you stick up for me! Those big mean Pops!'" Alex snapped in an imitation of my voice and stopped his pacing to face me. His eyes pointed, shooting through mine, his fingers twitching to the beat of his rage. "What was that? An act? Well, you really had me going! I mean, I thought you actually hated the Pops, actually despised them. But no, I guess not. I was wrong. Wrong about a lot of things."

"Yeah, well maybe I was wrong too..."

"Maybe you were."

Alex and I were feet away from each other. Breath shooting out mouths, noses and other holes that I had no idea air could come out. Alex's face was crunched in like smashed cereal flakes, while mine probably didn't look any better.

This was ridiculous. No it was more than ridiculous, it was I'm-going-to-dye-my-hair-green-and-try-out-for-the-next-Willy-Wonka-movie-as-an-oompa-loompa, ridiculous. I mean we are civilized seventh grade almost-young-adults here not two second graders who are fighting because they can't share a toy.

"Being popular isn't a big deal," I choked, my lips dry from all the hot air. Our eyes were still connected in a shooting range, and Alex's fist still held the same tightness. "It's not the end of the world."

"Yeah, well it's the end of our world! I'm done." Alex said, his sentence smacking me in the face like a MMA fighter. He quickly snapped his cleats out of the mud, grabbed his stuff off the bench, and left without another word, another noise, another anything. It was just me now.

"Yeah well who needs you," I shouted at the empty field, my voice cracking. My throat felt as it was closing up, just how you feel when you're holding back tears. My hands shook from fear, and frustration as the one cloud in the one sky imitated me and shook too. Tears started to pour out of the sky fast with fury, drenching me in rain. "Who needs you..."

Chapter 10: I Hate Surprises

I froze in front of my driveway. The rain pounding on the back of my neck and shoulders. Each drop leaving a sting of redness and smell of week old fish. The rainwater started to accumulate onto the streets, and sidewalks. Drops turned into puddles, which turned to tiny ant-killing streams. It was raining harder than ever, and all I could think about was Alex.

How could Alex not want to be my friend any more? I didn't understand! This was Alex for cheesesake! The Alex I knew since first grade! The Alex who shared his lunch when I forgot mine! Who stood up for me when I needed it! Where did he go? And why did he leave a heartless, meat headed, two-faced backstabber in his place?

The sky grumbled in response to my thoughts, and spit out a zap of lighting. Yeah, well don't get mad at me! He's the one who broke up our friendship, I yelled to myself as if actually having a conversation with a storm cloud was perfectly normal.

I splashed through the puddles, running to the door of my house, my baseball equipment flopping on my back behind me. My knuckles were shaking as I knocked, dreading the moment it would open. Dreading the person who would open it...

No answer.

I knocked again.

The door violently swung open, almost coming off the hinges. The darks eyes of my dad's glare greeted me with as much disappointment as a kid dropping his entire ice cream cone on the ground.

My dad's head popped through the screen door. His face looked as if it went through intense plastic surgery done by a college dropout. His finger shook, anger pulsing throughout his veins, pumping frustration to every little course and turn in his body. Okay, someone woke up on the wrong side of the lion's den today.

"Get in!" he hissed better than any snake could.

Proficient in snake language now, are you Dad?

I stepped into the dry house, wishing that I could just stay out in the rain. Even being captured by homeless rats, forced to eat rotten cheese for the rest of my life would have been a better option at this point! Anything would be better than the wrath of my angry snake-like father.

The door clicked behind my back.

I felt like I was in a scary movie. The ones where the main character goes into a haunted mansion and the door "magically" shuts behind them, creating tension thicker than mud. But unfortunately this wasn't a movie, and I wasn't in a haunted house, and the door didn't magically close. That would be a fantasy, only visions of T.V. producers. This was reality, this was real.

"Where were you?" The question burst from my dad's mouth like poisonous venom. His eyes turned into pin-sized slits with firecracker eyeballs, and his hands started to shake like rattles. Was it possible for humans to turn into different species just like the Mutants in X-Men? If I didn't know any better I'd say my father was quickly mutating. Quick call Marvel, I think we have another comic book story that they can make into at least five movies plus a spin-off!

"I wrote you a note saying I went to the library," I mumbled staring down at my cleats that were caked with wet mud, and had grass stains coating them as if a two-year-old painted them on. I quickly realized my left hand was still trapped in my mitt and it was starting to soak and drip onto the floor. Cream cheese! Why did I inherit such bad lying skills!

"Uh huh... if you were at the library than why are you wearing cleats that are creating mess all over the floor your mother just cleaned?" My dad obviously knew the answer to his question. He knew that I wasn't at the library, and he knew that I wasn't telling the truth (like that was a real accomplishment, I might I add). All he wanted was for me to say it. To tell him that I was lying! To announce to the whole world that I was wrong and he was right. Well, Daddy-o, it might have worked before but I'm not going to let it happen again! I am not going to cave! No matter how much you torture me or take away my allowance, I am not going to...

"I was at baseball again," I coughed out under my breath quickly dropping my mitt and running up the stairs making Ryan-sized mud tracks as I did.

Every time my dad caught me playing baseball it was the same thing over and over. It was like a never-ending movie that went to the end credits only to start from the beginning again. First he interrogates me until I spit out the truth. Then he gives me a speech, which I totally ignore and then I go up to my room and sulk. Not much of an ending, but you get the picture.

I slammed the door to my room, waiting to be called downstairs by "Drill Sergeant Dad". I waited and waited but it had been ten minuets already and I was tired of waiting! Ten minutes of staring at the drops of mud and water forming at the end of my bed from my cleats. Ten stinkin' minutes that had been wasted waiting for my dad to barge into my room and give me the "speech." Was this some kind of silent treatment! This was not how the movie was supposed to end! Enough was enough! An official investigation needed to take place! Something was going on!

I snuck down the stairs, and into the living room where I could hear the soft murmurs of my parents talking. I knew it wasn't right to eavesdrop but I had the curiosity of a toddler. And if I didn't answer my urges the Curious George that was unexplainably inside me would escape and create mischief for years to come.

I took an empty glass cup from the kitchen cupboard and placed it against the door to the living room. The glass really didn't do much but I felt cool and spy-like so I pressed it against the door harder so that the door cracked open about an inch and I could properly hear the conversation.

"What are we going to do about...well you know?" a hard raspy voice that was definitely my dad's echoed throughout the room. I could hear soft thumps of feet pacing against the carpet.

"What about her?" My mom's voice sounded drained as if an alien sucked all the life, and she only had enough energy to use a monotone robot voice.

"You know...about the baseball, and the sneaking around! What should we do?" A huge sigh escaped my dad's lips. "I've told her numerous times not to play baseball anymore, but nothing seems to be working!"

I cracked a smile. I couldn't help it.

My dad was absolutely right. I just didn't understand why he didn't catch on sooner. I mean a monkey with banana mush for brains could have seen that all the speeches that my father had given me since the pee-wee baseball years had been going in one ear, stopping to dance break in a disco themed club officially known as My Brain, only to go straight through to the other ear.

"I don't know what to do..." My mom mumbled.

"I'm serious, I'm out of ideas. I just don't understand why she won't maybe, I don't know, fix her hair once in a while, maybe put on makeup, were new clothes, and have friends that don't have any involvement in baseball. Why can't she just be... normal?"

Normal...normal...normal?

crack!

The glass cup that was grasped between my fingers, suctioned to the door, slipped out of my hand and broke into tiny scattered shards. Slipped and cracked. And if it was on purpose or not I didn't know. It just slipped and cracked.

"What was that..." a voice shattered through the house, louder than the glass.

I ran up the stairs not wanting to wait for the parental units to come and find me. Like it would matter anyway. It wasn't like a big mystery of who did what. The evidence was on the kitchen floor, and the suspect line started to shrink when my parents only decided to have one child. One un-normal child.

My room felt like a cold prison cell the second I closed the door. I couldn't go anywhere, and the only way out was going to be blocked by my parents soon enough. I looked for other ways out. Anything to avoid my parents. Avoid the world because at this point it seemed like nobody cared about a girl who played baseball. A girl who could play baseball. Not my parents, not the Pops, and not Alex (...well not anymore).

And so what if maybe I didn't have the new designer outfits. So what if maybe I didn't own any make-up or know even how to put it on. So what if maybe my friends play baseball. It made me who I was. What did it matter to anybody?

My door inched open revealing a crack of the outside freedom. But the freedom suddenly was blocked by two greenish-blue eyes that were calm but somewhat drained. A hand came through shortly after the eyes and then the head, and finally after no danger was detected the whole body slipped through.

My mother closed the door behind her and maneuvered around the obstacle of dirt, mud, and grass that escaped from my cleats. She then awkwardly took a seat next to me on my bed, her weight causing the mattress to sink in like a poorly made boat taking in water at sea.

Still a tad bit, no, a real bit angry with what I over heard, I quickly grabbed the corner of my covers and flung it over my head. It flew gracefully over my body, like a silk cloth coving a delicate dining room table. But I couldn't say it looked as elegant as it felt because from within the sheets I could hear the muffled cough of my mother, which in terms of a normal human being could be considered an attempted laugher. To her I probably looked like a "misplaced" rock in the road. Misplaced being the key term.

"Ryan?" my mother spoke as though a mini alien named Roberto who controlled human minds was making her speak. It was as if she had to force herself to actually talk to her own daughter.

"Ryan is not here, but if you would like to talk to her please leave a message and she will get back to you in five to six business days," I said not budging from the comfort of my little blanket cocoon.

"Ryan, I just was...um...you know...worry...um...I wanted know why you dropped the glass cup?" my mother asked as my anger thermostat elevate from a chilly 30 degrees to a steaming ice melting hotter than the sun in a sauna room, 2000 degrees.

Even when my mother tried to pay attention and not be in her dreamland, she didn't even come close to what was wrong. Didn't she wonder why I was in the kitchen listening in on her and Dad's conversation in the first place? Did she stop for a second to think if I was hurt at all? No! Never! Not once had she given any thought of what I felt, inside or out.

I opened up a hole in the covers big enough for my head, and squeezed it out. My head floated above my covers like a magic trick gone wrong. This day had gone from bad to punch-me-in-the-face-and-spit-in-my-eye horrible. First, Alex and his no more friendship deal. Then my dad and the whole "I have an un-normal daughter"! Now my mom was paying absolutely no attention to me so that if I locked myself in my room for a whole week she probably would think I just took a mini-vacation. What was this apocalyptic world where everyone turned on Ryan!

I poked my head farther out of the blanket cocoon. "Mom! I don't want to talk about it! So if you don't mind I'd like to be left alone!"

If at that moment I had the power of animation on my side, I think fire would probably be coming out of my mouth, steam would be shooting from my ears, and sparks would be exploding in the background.

My mother like a robot, walked out stiffly without another word. Okay, so maybe I was a little mean to her. Maybe I could have been a tad wincey tincey little nicer to her. I mean even if she was a possessed robot who watched T.V. and ignored everyone else, she was my mother. I hated when I made myself feel bad!

I reached for my phone, forgetting the current situation at hand to call Kathy like I was supposed to. After one broken friendship already today, I couldn't risk losing the last and only friend I had left.

The phone felt strangely warm against my ear. It was a comfort to know after a day like today that someone still had my back. Kathy would know what to say to make my day feel less suckish. Even if it was pretty sucky to start with.

I punched in the numbers of Kathy's home phone. The dial tone rung its smooth baritone note as I laid down flat on my stomach and emerged from my cocoon. I twisted the cord of the phone in my fingers, anxiously waiting for someone's voice on the other line. Waiting for a pick up, a hello or what's up. Even an 'ello old chap would do.

"Hello? Hello? Is anyone here?" Kathy's voice erupted.

"Kathy it's me."

"Me who? I am surely not talking to myself, because no offence me I sound much better than this..."

"Kathy its Ryan," I interrupted.

"I knew that..."

"I need to talk to you about something...serious," I started as I took in a deep breath and the mood changed from a "silly care free" one to a "this could be bad" one. Kathy immediately caught on and zipped her lips so I could talk.

"Today you know how I went to my baseball game..."

"Uh-Huh"

"Well, everything was going great; I even hit a game winner homer but..."

"No don't tell me you swung and the bat flew out of your hands and landed in the trees only to fall down on poor defenseless little squirrels who were actually secret squirrel agents in disguise, and they called the squirrel police who arrested you in their tiny pinky binding squirrelly handcuffs, and now you are using your one squirrel phone call to talk to me to bail you out of squirrel jail. I'm sorry Ryan but I don't think I have enough money to bail you out, I have to think about this..."

"Kathy I really need you to listen!" My voice tightened getting a little annoyed at the fact that she was making this a joke. "Please..."

"Okay fine, continue."

"So after I hit the home run, we celebrated and then everyone left except for Alex and me..." I stated, the scene replaying in my mind like a movie. I could remember each smell, each color Alex's face turned within seconds. I could even feel the tension of the scene as it played. Every single detail was engraved in my brain like one big etch-a-sketch.

"So..." Kathy egged me on dying to know the big secret.

"Alex...he...doesn't want to be friends anymore." I whipped the words finding the closest pillow and digging my head underneath like an ostrich scared of what Kathy's response might be. But all I could hear on the other line of the phone was a muffled fuzziness. It almost was like she was...laughing! I had all this built up inside me all day and what did I get after I finally leaked it all out! I get laughed at! Laughed at as if I walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to the side of my shoe for three straight days!

"What's so funny?" I demanded squirming my head out of the pillow.

"That's what was so important!" She said between gasps of air.

"Kathy I told you this is serious!" I grunted holding back an internal sigh. If she was going to take this as a joke I think I would have been better off telling Alex himself. But I couldn't do that because other than our friendship that went down the toilet, there still was the fact that he probably wasn't talking to me. And who wanted to talk to someone who didn't answer. It was worse than talking to yourself.

"I'm not laughing... (gasp)... I am practicing... my breathing which coincidently sounds exactly like laughter," she wheezed trying to hold back giggles.

When Kathy finally controlled herself, I continued. "Also my dad is being a butt-head again...I over heard him and my mom saying that I wasn't normal, and how my dad wanted me to change...it was like he was at the point of desperation. I don't know what to do anymore..." I brought my voice up in pitch with each word and the volume came down to a whisper so I probably sounded like a chipmunk named Fargo who just lost his voice in a freak massaging accident, and can only communicate through faded high pitch squeaks. Poor Fargo.

"Ryan you're still coming over Sunday right?" Kathy interrupted as if she suddenly remembered the biggest secret in the world.

"Yes..."

"Well, get ready for a surprise." And just like that, she hung up.

Chapter 11: Robe Girl Has Attitude

The exhaust of my mother's car spread throughout the air like rapid wildfire. The smoke was so thick and dark around me that you would think I was some kind of mad scientist making a concoction that went horribly wrong. I could just picture myself now in a white lab coat sitting in a mysterious basement, laughing my head off with my normally straight brown hair sticking up on the edges like I was just electrocuted.

The smoke cleared in just enough time for me to see my mom's car speeding away. The thought of my mom racing through the side streets like she was playing one of those cheap arcade games started an eruption of giggles as I walked towards the house in front of me.

Kathy's house wasn't the biggest on the block and didn't have the newest paint job or all the necessary touch ups it seriously needed, but this home was "homier" to me than any other I knew. So maybe blue want the best color for a house, and maybe the one or two or ten boards hanging off their hinges needed to be repaired, but if flying monkeys with hot pink hair were in need of shelter for their flying monkey hot pink haired babies they would take one look at this house and call it home. And knowing the great taste of flying mammals, that was saying at lot.

"Hey Ryan! Come on in," Kathy's mom greeted me at the foot of the doorstep with a blinding smile. Her dark curly hair resembled Kathy's while her voice had the richness and warmth of a steaming cup of old fashion hot coco.

I stepped into the house as if it were my own. I knew every corner, every crack, every stain, and every dent. I had been here so many times that you would think I lived here, or maybe I was secretly a stalker and mapped out Kathy's entire house while she was sleeping at night. But that would be wrong in many different ways and maybe one language.

As soon as I cleared the door, I sped up the stairs and swung around the corner, past the bathrooms, past the blasting stereo in one of the bedrooms, and all the way down to the last door. And without even bothering to knock, because who did that these days, I swung the door open and collapsed onto the bed right besides Kathy.

"Hey what took you so long?" Kathy spoke not breaking her stare from the beaten up pages of her fashion magazine. Kathy's twin sized bed shook with the weight of the two of us as I found a comfortable position. The purple sheets, purple walls, and the purple carpet of Kathy's room always made me feel like I warped into some kind of world of purple dimension, and the one rule of this upside down world was basically...purple. Yes everything purple. It was run by a purple monarchy, and if you didn't follow their purple-ly rules then you would be punished by the one-eyed purple demons (and nobody wanted that).

"Don't blame me! You know how long it took me to convince my parents that I needed to come to your house?" I asked as I flipped over on my back so I could stare at the cracking ceiling, which was unsurprisingly purple. "It took about a half an hour of whining, ten minutes of complaining, and for the finally the how-could-you-say-no puppy face. My pride and dignity dropped a whole letter grade just for you!"

"Do you think this is a cute hair style?" Kathy asked abruptly pointing to a picture of a girl with an indecent lack of clothing, and the brightest orange tinted skin my eyes had ever witnessed. I mean, you could spot that baby from outer space. Aliens were probably zooming through the galaxy wondering why there was an orange glow coming from our planet.

What was I supposed to say...? She looked like she was wearing a costume, a mask, a plastic mold perfection that was never meant to be replicated. I cleared my throat as if there was a hairball ready to shoot out, "What about it?"

BANG!

A noise erupted like a firecracker from the bathroom in Kathy's room. What in the world of cookie heaven was that? It couldn't have been Kathy's parents because both of them were downstairs. What if Kathy's house was haunted with ghosts who liked to hang out in toilets! Or there was a burglar rummaging through the bathroom for toilet paper, because he didn't have any! What if it was the bathroom-toilet-paper-burglar!

I sprang off Kathy's bed like it was suddenly infested with snakes. My heartbeat sank into my throat as I looked over to Kathy ready for the sign to pounce.

Kathy just looked at me with a blank face as I grabbed a toy plastic bat off the ground and crept up next to the bathroom. Okay if this toilet fiend wanted to steel from my friend Kathy, than he (or she...or it) would feel the power of my homerun hitting swing. That would teach them not to steel again or possible move again!

"Ryan, no!" Kathy screamed too late as a person with a mutated green face wearing a decorative pink bathrobe emerged, steam surrounding her body. I dropped the bat before I could do anything and echoed Kathy's scream as the green-faced girl, not fazed, converted her face into an obnoxious sneer, cracking the mask as she did.

"Kathy, I thought you were going to tell her while I was in the shower!" Robe girl whined as she took the nearest seat closing the door of the bathroom as she did.

"I was about to tell her before you came out and scared the actual poop out of us," Kathy argued sitting in an upright position on her bed. Kathy's confidence in arguments was usually the reason she got her way most of the time. But it was as if Robe girl had the same exact confidence in her words. What was going on? Maybe the girl was a clone of Kathy that she never told me about because she was too embarrassed. I mean who wouldn't be when your clone came out acting like that?

"Hey you guys I am still in this room and can hear everything your saying. So if you don't mind, what in the name of flapjacks-glazed-with-syrup is going on?" I shouted over the chatter of Kathy and Robe girl.

The arguing stopped immediately as if there wasn't enough air in the room to keep us alive and the less talking the better. But after a moment of thinking Kathy started to speak in a slow, one-word-at-a-time, voice. "Well, Ryan, you know how you told me yesterday how Alex and you aren't friends anymore..."

"Yeah" I responded taking a seat on a beanbag chair between Kathy and Robe girl.

"And how your dad wants you to be normal..."

"Uh-huh" My knees bent up to my chest.

"And how you secretly want to be popular..." Kathy smiled a huge grin that usually followed with something that wasn't good, something I usually wouldn't agree with. Grilled cheese! This was why I could never win the lottery! I had about as much luck as a black cat that broke thirteen mirrors, and went under thirteen ladders on Friday the thirteenth.

"Oh, just tell her already," Robe girl squeak from the desk chair.

"Well I was thinking that we could give you a make-over, dress you in the latest fashions, and brainwash you of the most recent pop culture, so you can fit in with the Pops, and have your life long dream of being popular." Kathy spoke so fast that I almost didn't understand what she said. But when the words finally processed through my brain, my face turned slightly pink and wrinkled.

How could Kathy do this to me? I wanted to be popular but there was no way that she was going to touch my hair, make me wear skirts, and force me to talk like a Malibu Barbie just to get the attention of the Pops.

"No! Not in a million years! You are not going make me your own personal experiment." I jumped out of the beanbag chair as my stomach started churning.

"Ryan, come on! Don't you want to show the Pops that you can be just as popular as they are? Don't you want to show your dad you can be normal, prove Alex wrong? Prove to all of them that you are better than anything they ever expected." Kathy climbed off the furniture and puffed out her chest. She looked so serious, like this was a test at life and she couldn't lose, even if it was to herself. "Come on Ryan, Prove them wrong for once!"

The seat was already set up for me in the bathroom. It was one of those twisty chairs that were only meant for offices but really everyone just bought them so they could spin in them and pretend they were at an amusement park for five seconds. Though the sleek hard black seat made it seem less like a ride more like an interrogation chair. But what was presented in along the bathroom sink was even less inviting and more of a get me out of here before I internally explode kind of feeling.

It was as if a beauty pageant queen combined with a top model went on a shopping spree to the largest make-up store and were told they had no spending limit. There were hundreds of products all organized according to color. Each with a utensil of some kind within it like a comb or a brush and had names that sounded more like food than anything. It all looked so foreign. Like a new world waiting for me to discover, but the feeling that came with it was nothing like when Columbus landed in America. It was a feeling of instant fear, terror and the slight sense of stale throw up in my mouth that I had been ignoring for the last ten minutes or so.

"What is this...? My mouth was so dry that I was surprised words came out.

"This..." Kathy presented her arm out as if I just won a brand new car, "...is sweet justice!"

"That's weird because this looks strangely similar to my nightmare" All the makeup stared at me as if mocking my worst fears. The glitters and shine blinding my eyes. "Actually this is my nightmare."

Kathy grabbed my shoulders, squeezing the fear even deeper into my skin. Her eyes glazing over with that scheming look that I knew all too well. "We are going to give you a transformation! A makeover that will wipe all the smirks off all the Pops, Alex, your dad and anybody who ever looked at you funny."

"No." My stomach dropped even further and started doing what I could only explain as stomach gymnastics.

"You mean 'No way! Kathy you are amazing for getting me this opportunity!'" Kathy's eyebrows narrowed. "Right?"

"I mean NO as in no way in giant snakes take over my brain and I am forced to speak in Parseltongue I am going to go through with this!" I hoped that cleared it up for her.

Kathy pushed me down into the twisty chair and spun me around only to face her crossed arms and pursed lips. "Ryan, are you serious?"

"I..."

"You want a change in your life! You want to be popular, you want Alex to be your friend, you want your dad to think you're normal but you don't want to do anything about it! You can't just mope and think the world is going to change for you! You need to change for it!" Kathy spun me around again so I could observe the makeup as if it was the audience to this turning point in my life. "You are amazing and we are going to show people the amazing girl they have been missing out on this whole time. So what do you say? Let's kick reality in the butt and show everyone how bomb you can be!"

The lines of glittery makeup seemed to wink in agreement. Kathy was right! I wanted change so here it was staring me in my face. This was my chance to fit in. My chance to be noticed. My chance!

I sighed letting the fear disappear "...Fine."

Kathy started to shake with excitement. "Okay so first..."

"But before we start," I cleared my throat interrupting her before things went too far. "First we have to get some things straight."

If you thought I was going to let Kathy and Robe girl (who still hadn't been introduced to me, by the way) splatter make-up on my face that had names like passion fruit mist, or chocolate cream delight without getting some basic rules down than you better think again. And if you still don't believe it you better think harder. And if that didn't work than you should probably stop thinking because frankly, I don't feel like cleaning up brain splatter from the mind-explosion that would eventually occur.

"Fine," Kathy replied moving through what little space we had in the bathroom, her knee smacking against the chair. "But if we agree to your conditions, you have to do the same to ours."

"Right," I mumbled, whipping around to face both Kathy and Robe girl. "First, I want to know who that is and why is she here?" I said pointing a finger at Robe girl who looked as if she would bite off that very finger due to my description of her.

Kathy rolled her eyes and sighed as if she forgot Robe girl and I were still strangers. "This is Patrice, my cousin. She is going to do your makeover. She goes to the beauty school downtown and is in majoring fashion."

"You better be grateful that I happen to be off from school and willing to do this because, sister, it is going to all my talent and skill to make this work." Patrice snapped at me with more attitude and sass than I thought was possible.

"Second rule," I continued, completely ignoring Patrice's comment. "You must promise that you will not put anything on me that I cannot pronounce, or that will stare back at me within the container. Got that sister?" I spoke giving the last word emphasis while shooting a glare at Patrice.

Patrice and I locked eyes for what felt like forever until Kathy spun me around in my chair to face her (making me almost fall to twisty chair doom). "Okay, we agree to your rules now you have to agree to ours." Kathy nodded to Patrice giving her the signal to lock the bathroom door. The lock made a hard hollow click which in return made my stomach flip over like yesterday's burnt pancakes.

This was officially getting creepy.

I felt like a suspect in a cop movie where they bring you to a room consisting of furniture such as a beaten up table and rickety old chair. All the bathroom needed was a bright interrogation light and it definitely would set the horror mood.

"Ryan, You have to promise that whatever we do, you will not mess it up, ruin it behind our backs, or try to escape," Kathy cleared her throat looking at Patrice who was blocking the door frame as if I would try to bust through it at any moment. I flinched, and Patrice instinctively bent her knees, ready to pounce. This could be fun!

"Fine." I agreed reluctantly, nodding my head like a possessed zombie. I wanted to become popular but hated having no control over anything. What if I didn't like my new look or every time I passed a mirror, puke would form in my throat at the mere sight of myself. But what choice did I have. This was what I wanted, this was going to be the new me. I couldn't back down now. "I promise..."

Kathy's lips curved into a smile, proud of herself that she got me, Ryan, a girl who had never worn, touched, or been within a five feet distance of make-up, to agree to her semi evil plan of beautification. She shot her eyes to the buffet platter of products, to me in the black twisty chair, and finally to Patrice who still, unsurprisingly, was as motionless as a pink bath-robed stone door guard could be. "Patrice, unlock the door, and get dressed, we've got a lot of work to do."

Chapter 12: The Mission

The next three hours felt like a whole week. I was not allowed to move, not even to scratch my nose, which by the way itched more than someone who had the chicken pox, fell in poison ivy, and got an allergic reaction all in the span of a day. I actually thought my nose was going to grow hands and itch itself before I begged Kathy into itching it for me.

The sound of hair snipping, containers opening and closing every second, and brushes scratching at my face echoed like a chorus. With each movement I knew that an old part of me was being destroyed and a new part made. But when I felt clumps of hair fall to the ground like dead leaves, I actually had to restrain myself. I knew it was just hair, just make-up, just a new style, but for me it wasn't just anything. I had looked the same way my whole life. Except for the occasional trim, the most extreme measure I had taken with personal style was lacking one.

Another hour passed as slowly as the others before it. This was taking forever, and when I say forever I mean it took less time for Shakespeare to write his series of plays than for my makeover to be completed. I could have played two full baseball games, hit a homerun, and gone to Disney World to celebrate and still make it back for dinner with the time they were spending to beatify me. Plus the fingers and hands that kept touching my face as if it was made of play-dough, was getting really old. If I wanted to make play dough out of my face I would have done it a long time ago!

"Honey, if you keep moving, your face is going to get an unnecessary trail of lipstick. And let me tell you from experience that is not the way to go." Patrice sneered as she took a wet cloth and wiped my face like I was a baby who forgot to wear her bib.

"If I have to sit here any longer, I think my butt will fall off from numbness. And if that happens don't be surprise to find a medical bill in your mail for the fact that I WON'T BE ABLE TO POOP ANYMORE!" I groaned as I felt the prickling of a brush sweep past my cheekbones.

"Ryan relax we're almost done with your make-up." Kathy announced trying to get me through this with the least pain possible. "Anyway it looks great. You should see yourself! It's amazing."

"Yeah, I would like to see myself Kathy, but Ms. Picky-Patrice here has forbidden me to move until she's done. And judging by the pace she is going at, by the time I get to move again half of my life will be over!"

A sharp pulling sensation went cheek to cheek on my face in response to my remark. What was this girl doing to me? This was supposed to be a makeover, not let's see how far Ryan's skin could stretch before it ripped off contest!

"Sweets, you can stop your whining and open your newly beautifully shaded eyes now. My greatest accomplishment since...like ever...is complete," Patrice's voice sang out in pride.

Finally!

I cracked my eyes open to a pin-sized slit not sure if I wanted to see the final presentation. What if Kathy had underestimated Patrice's ability to do makeovers and Patrice had no more skill than a one eyed pirate from Singapore who laughed in the face of beauty. I hoped Patrice never met a pirate before or had been to Singapore for that matter.

I dug my fingers into my skin forcing my eyes open a little wider. I could feel the anticipation leaking off Kathy and Patrice like sweat on a hot day. The adrenaline pulsed through me in a steady beat. I could do this! If I could go through the day wearing my dad's old work pants and my cousin's gross Winnie the Pooh T-shirt, then this should be no problem.

Yeah, no problems here.

"Darling, if you keep stalling I'm going to be forced to damage my work just to rip your eyes open!" Patrice snapped which gave me about a two second window of considering if I really wanted my eyes clawed out or not. I chose not.

With the assistance of Patrice's threat and my already pounding nerves, my eyes flew all the way opened revealing a girl in a twisty chair that I definitely did not recognize.

I mean the girl in the mirror had hair that was more layered than a million dollar wedding cake. The way it flowed with movement when it was completely still was a mystery. This girl had vibrant eyes with long lashes that curled at the end, bent to perfection. And her lips made the fullest of balloons look deflated. There was no way that this beautiful gorgeous being reflecting in the mirror could be...me.

Me?

"So what do you think?" Kathy asked goo-goo eyeing me like I was some kind of masterpiece that she had been working on for the last three decades.

"Well, I think it is fabulous. Thanks for asking Kathy, a stylist always likes to be appreciated..." Patrice started fanning her long mascara covered eyelashes as if she just one an award for her work. Oh thank you, thank you, I'll be here till Tuesday or Thursday or both!

"Not you Pa-trice!" Kathy glared, "I want to know what Ryan thinks."

What did I think...?

I stared in the mirror, studying my reflection this time very carefully. Every color shade, hair fragment, even down to the perfectly shaped eyebrows.

"It's..." I started still stunned, inching closer to the mirror.

"Wonderful," Kathy finished.

"Super-ful," Patrice popped oddly making some kind of weird sense.

I felt like this new me, this Ryan who actually didn't resemble garbage, was amazing. And I couldn't ask for anymore than Kathy or even Patrice, surprisingly, had done. They made an ugly cock-eyed pigeon with no feathers, into a somewhat majestic bird.

"It's perfect," I spoke with the newly acquired phrase feeling comfortable as if I had known it all my life. Yeah perfect. I could get use to that. Perfect Ryan went to perfect school to become perfect popular and live the perfect life, how perfect?

"Not yet," Kathy's voice shot right through my perfection thoughts, bursting my bubble like a tack to a balloon. Sharp and quick.

"Your only one third of the way there, princess," Patrice chimed in. "You still need to be taught of all the new gossip and dirt going on in the world. Also we need to get you out of those ratty clothes and into fashion worthy ones."

Kathy ignoring the comments of her cousin bent down and picked up a magazine that I recognized as the one she was looking at when I came in her room. She started flipping through the pages like someone who was skimming a book that they hadn't read, and were to be tested on the next day. Not that I had any experience with that, I'm just saying...

"Kathy may I ask what in the world of Eli's Cheesecake are you doing?" I bounced out of my chair and looked over my shoulder to get a peak at the magazine. Kathy just responded by moving the papers out of my gaze. I turned to Patrice who seemed as clueless as me, but then again, when didn't Patrice have a face that resembled that of which only could be explained by pure confusion.

Apparently oblivious to my question, Kathy walked out of the bathroom. Just walked out, without a word, leaving Patrice and I behind like as if we were old furniture that had been collecting dust for the last century.

That's it! I didn't care if Kathy just transformed me into a beautiful prom queen runner-up, nobody walked away from me unless I'm walking with them, or beside them, or within a ten feet radius...Oh you know what I mean!

I stomped out of the bathroom, freeing myself from the stuffiness of perfume and cluttered makeup, into the overwhelming Barney purple room. I plopped onto the familiar beanbag chair while Patrice copied my movements only she collapsed onto the desk chair. Silence filled the room like a poisonous gas that was seeping through the cracks of the windows. Quiet but deadly. Okay if someone didn't start telling me what was going on I was going to well...not...going to be...silent...anymore!

"Ryan, now here's the real challenge," Kathy broke the silent contest. "I am going to test you on the world of fashion. If you're going to fit with Marissa, Lara, and the rest of their groupies, than you have to think like them, talk like them, even breath and eat like them."

I did not like where this was going one bit. The most I knew about the fashion world was that it was not for me. I never in my life read a magazine that didn't have a baseball or sports theme on the cover. I had a horrible feeling that if Kathy didn't have a magic machine that could suck my brain of all baseball and sports and replace it with gossip, then this could go downhill faster than a pig pushed out an airplane thinking it could fly.

"While I test your knowledge Ryan, Patrice will go get new clothes from the mall. I'll give you the money. What size do you wear again Ryan? Oh it doesn't matter, Patrice just pretend your shopping for me. I have the same body type as Ryan." Kathy shot the words at us like we were targets at a shooting range.

"This will be fun," Patrice grabbed the money and ran out of the room with a smile curing on her face. Hopefully she remembered she was buying for me and not herself.

"Okay, now we can have some studying time." Kathy announced as soon as Patrice left the room and the sound of the front door slammed as if the signal for our fashion lessons to start.

"I never really liked studying." I replied my body sinking deeper into the beanbag chair, nervous energy consuming me.

How was I nervous? It was okay to be nervous when taking a test, performing in front of people, even reading out loud in class when you didn't know how to read even though you were in the seventh grade and you repeated it seven times. Those are times to be shaky handed, sweaty palmed, and chattering-teeth nervous. Not when you're answering simple questions out of a magazine that was pinker than Barbie's lipstick shade.

"Relax," Kathy spoke as she climbed to the edge of her bed, closer to me. Kathy fluttered through pages until she stopped on a specific one. It looked like a test of some sort. "Okay, this is a popular I.Q. test. It should help us give you a baseline of where you are at."

Blank stare.

"First question, if you were on a date, what restaurant would you go to?"

"Fries Express," I answered with the first fast food place that came to mind. I mean fries do I need to say more? Oh, maybe I should get some now...

"Come on Ryan, who in their right mind would go to a trashy fast food restaurant on a date?" Kathy snapped harder than a rusty old button.

"Fine, than I would choose...Burger Paradise." I responded thinking of the next restaurant fast food place that popped into my head. Apparently my knowledge was only good for fast food places.

"NO! The answer was Le Posh, Yanni's, or for a casual place, Gregory's pizzeria and grill. Okay maybe the next question would be easier." Kathy said as she grabbed her hair in strands and sighed. "If you were to go to a party on a Saturday night with a guy who you are friends with and want to only stay friends with, what kind of clothes would you wear?"

Are you serious? If this was an easy question, I didn't want to see the hard ones. I mean, really who cared. Why couldn't I just wear a garbage can for cheese sake! What good would it do if I wear certain clothes to a party? If it were up to me I probably would wear my baseball clothes rather than a dress with all the frills. "I guess...maybe I would wear nice pants?"

"Now we are getting somewhere. The answer was nice pants and a dress top!" Kathy exploded with excitement of getting closer to the goal of brainwashing me with basic fashion and pop culture knowledge.

But even though I got one answer right so far, that didn't feel like an accomplishment to me. All it felt like just pure luck. How on Earth was I going to stuff all this knowledge into my brain as if it were a turkey on Thanksgiving Day? There was no way this was going to work! And even if it did, how were Marissa, Lara, and all the Pops going to accept me into their group? To them I was just gunk on the bottom of their shoes, slime on the ground, weeds in their garden. I was nobody to them, just someone who took up space in their kingdom of popularity. If I going to pull this off I was going to need much more than just luck.

"I'm back, did you miss me?" a muffled voice called from downstairs as the door to Kathy's house closed with more force than a group of twelve year old boys trying to be the first ones at the video arcade. The footsteps creaked up the hill of stairs, and heavy breathing followed it. Bags shoveled and banged together creating a racket of musical plastic. The movement stopped and waited, listening to the voices within the room.

"Who is the cutest actor in Hollywood?"

"Chris Larson."

"Hello? Why isn't anyone acknowledging my presence?" The person outside the room shouted with increased intensity.

"The hottest actress?"

"Rachel Vern."

"Best movies of the year?"

"Don't Look Back, Mean Girls 10, and...and..."

"What is going on?" The owner of the voice ruptured through the door and came in with bags draping her arms like leaves on a tree.

"And...Taken Again." I finished my answer to Kathy's quiz question turning to Patrice who looked astonished at the performance in front of her. The girl that she left two hours ago, who had no idea about anything relevant in the world of gossip and fashion, now was answering questions like she knew it all her life.

Kathy shut the magazine, which made a slapping noise, and stared at Patrice with a face of satisfaction. "I think she's ready."

In seconds the floor was gone! Clothes smothered the room, leaving no empty space for mercy. It looked as if a tornado came barging into Kathy's room, stopped to have some coconut flavored tea, and finished it's business with clothes trailing like smashed pumpkin guts on Halloween. If a tornado ever enters the vicinity of your household, never offer it tea that tastes like coconut. It just goes horribly wrong from there.

"Try this one on next!" Kathy's voice cracked through the bathroom door as she shoved a pile of clothes at me. The stack of bags and clothes was starting to make me feel like I was suffocating. No wonder the tornado spread the clothes around the room, he was just trying to cure his claustrophobia.

I finally popped my head free of suffocation from within a seaweed colored sweater without a) ripping it b) stretching it c) mysteriously shrinking it with my so-called supervision that I was either planning on having or buying from the black market.

"Hello, Princess, we don't have all day here. Find an outfit now or I'm coming in and finding one for you." Patrice yelped as I grabbed the first top and pants I could find and burst out of the bathroom as if a stink bomb were ready to explode. The thought of Patrice coming into the bathroom and shoving me into clothes was not too appealing.

I burst out of the door wearing a baby blue tank top with the word Love-ly slanted in cursive, a skirt that bounced down my thighs, and bug-eyed sunglasses to top it off.

"What?" My words rolled off my tongue and seem to make no impression on the stone presence of Kathy and Patrice. They were so still that drool was the only movement on their bodies. Suddenly the trance was broken and stillness was only a thing of the past.

"Patrice" Kathy stuttered with eyes bugged.

"Yeah" Patrice answered imitating Kathy's face.

"Mission accomplished!"

Chapter 13: The Pops

"Please Mom! Please with a cherry and some blueberries and even a piece of dark Fannie May chocolate that is irresistible to the non-chocolate lover on top!" I whined into the phone, the pitch of my voice sounding like it was possessed by a screaming school of piranha fish who learned how to sing from wild baboons who were musically and vocally challenged in all ways possible.

My mother letting me stay over at Kathy's for the time she did already was pushing it, and now asking her to let me sleep over was like going off the side of a cliff into the depths of raging water with only the safety of two floatation devices. Floaties don't fail me now.

The hardest part wasn't even convincing my mom, it was trying to convince my mom to persuade my dad to actually take the time to consider letting me stay over, and that was if he actually thought about it. Sometimes I won't even finish asking my dad a question and out comes the answer like a shooting pie at the face filled with nothing but whip cream and the taste of rejection inside.

"Let me talk to your father." My mother finally gave in.

Kathy was sitting in the beanbag chair leaning her head backwards with doubt and frustration while I uncomfortable paced back and forth holding onto the phone like it was surgically sewed to my hand. Kathy just flicked her fingers at the beans that were coming out of her seat and watched with wide eyes, and mouth slightly open.

Kathy wanted me to stay over to keep on practicing my popular education and go over some more rules. She didn't want me on the bus in the morning with everyone watching and ruining the surprise of my makeover. She wanted this to be perfect and go her way, and with Patrice on her way back to her collage campus she could do just that.

"She's talking to my dad." I whispered to Kathy balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder.

"Tell her that you need to sleep over because I'm helping you study for a test." Kathy whispered as she flicked another bean from the chair which missed my head by a hair. "Make up something good."

"What should I tell her Kathy? That the president of the United States and the Prime Minister of Canada flew by jet plane and told us to go on a secret top mission to your basement in order to stabilize a top secret plan that nobody else in the whole world can no about, and if we don't do this together the world itself will come to a jelly doughnut filled doom?" I mumble keeping the phone speaker covered by my palm.

"Yeah, that sounds about right, only instead of the Prime minister of Canada say someone more important like a talking giraffe from New Zealand. That will win her over for sure." Kathy moved her hands to the beat of her speech as if to add emphasis. I couldn't really tell if Kathy was serious or not, but by the way her eyes bugged out and her cheek bones squished out like a pucker fish, she did look like she was a character from the Looney Toons. So hard to say.

"Hold on," I said putting up my fingers from the receiver to my lips. "Uh-huh...yeah...yeah...YES!"

"What did she say? What did she say? Tell me!" Kathy shouted in the background as one last bean flew into the air elegantly landing on the tip of my foot.

"Thanks Mom! Bring my school and sleepover stuff when you come please. Thank you a trillion times over!" My voice cracked with excitement as the bean rolled off my foot into the depths of the purple carpet jungle. The phone flew from my hand faster than hungry goats stampeding to fight for food, as my mom hung up.

"I did it! My dad said yes! He said yes! I can sleep over! Uh-huh, oh yeah!" I yelped as I turned to Kathy, and in response she exploded off her bean-leaking seat and started to wiggle in an awkward victory dance.

After what happened this weekend, I thought the last thing my dad would do was let me have my way. Someone must have hit him in the head several times with a book titled common sense for dummies. Or maybe he just came to the possible conclusion that Kathy is not a boy and does not like baseball and therefore is better than anything.

"Yes! Now we can finish the final touches of your transformation. It will be perfect!" Kathy exploded as she thankfully stopped her unnecessary dancing, and switched to a still statue-like stance clearing her voice to get the invisible audience's attention.

"Introducing the new, improved, the I can't believe my eyes," She paused for dramatic effect, and flung her arms out towards me (almost smacking me in the "I can't believe" my eye) "Ryan!"

Kathy climbed onto her bed, and started jumping up and down. "Come on Ryan!"

I didn't think twice about jumping on something I probably shouldn't have been jumping on, and climbed onto Kathy's bed to join the bouncing party. We jumped as if it was a moon bounce at a five year old's birthday party, and didn't even stop when the bed started to creak and the floor vibrated like an earthquake.

By the time my mom came to drop off my stuff it was already late. Kathy grabbed my backpack and sleeping stuff while I waited up stairs keeping my appearance a secret, at least for now. And as usual, my mom not even curious as to my whereabouts, left without a word.

I set up my bags in the usual place next to Kathy's bed, and we went over situations and possible scenes for my first encounter as the new Ryan. What to say when you see the Pops, how to walk, how to speak.

"Remember to always compliment Marissa and Lara, and tell them how you can't compare to their blinding beauty. Popular people love to talk about how popular they are, it's in their popular DNA." Kathy cracked a smile. "If they don't get a least one remark about their beautiful skin, or flawless fashion taste, then they might explode."

I could just imaging Lara, and Marissa like ticking time bombs, exploding with their popular juices splattering on the floor like a giant popular planet combusting.

"As long as you don't make me kiss their feet and polish the very steps, then I think this might actually work." I yawned looking at the clock that read 11pm.

"If you listen to me, and I help you at school with what to say, you'll be more than fine." Kathy said as she grabbed a purple pillow and plumped it before laying it down and resting her head upon it. "Just do as I say and nothing will go wrong."

And with those words, Kathy fell right asleep, snoring quickly following.

I knew Kathy had my back, and she was going to help me every step of the way, but I still felt churning in the pit of my stomach. I mean, how were Marissa and Lara just going to magically say oh Ryan, you're cool now, be apart of our popular gang, and we'll all be a happy popular family, with a popular table, and popular friends, even popular food that becomes popular with the touch of your popular finger.

How are the Pops just going to all of the sudden befriend me like a poor lost puppy they found in the streets. Was a change of clothes, looks, and even the way I talked to them really going to make a difference? Were they really so shallow that they would accept someone who was an imitation of popularity and their popular world?

Who knew? Who knew anything?

Who knew if the Pops would accept me, if my dad would accept me, and even if Alex who was officially mute in my presence, would accept me? All I knew was that tomorrow was going to be an experience, a day that would not be forgotten.

Tomorrow was hopefully the start of a better beginning.

Kathy's mom slammed the car door creating a shattering noise that could have woken up all the woodland creatures in the forests. The smell of week old fast food reeked in the back seats. The scent making my stomach, which by the way was already queasy and nervous preparing for my first day as new Ryan, hurt even more. Hopefully Kathy's mom didn't make any sudden stops or else their might be a "surprise" waiting for her in the back that will make her car smell even more unbearable.

"Okay ladies, strap in tight," Kathy's mom twisted her neck to make sure her command was fulfilled. But as she turned around her gaze stuck to me like sticky glue to paper. This was the first time that anyone other than Patrice and Kathy had seen me since the makeover, the first reaction of someone, the first remark. This was it. "Ryan you look...pleasantly nice today."

My chest loosened. I turned to Kathy who gave me a look of approval and clicked her seat belt in place. But without permission, my fingers twitched into a tight ball, my legs knotted into an origami, and my skin felt like inflamed hot wing sauce. The car sped down the street to the rate of my bouncing pulse. I closed my eyes and sucked in air slowly. Somebody better do something quick before I end up passing out!

"Kathy" My eyes burst open suddenly as we went over a pothole.

"Yea..."

"What do I do if they ask me a question we didn't practice? Do you think they will let me into their group? What if they say I'm an imposter and chuck my mom's tuna casserole at me and chant a song in gibberish? What if..." Kathy put her hand around my mouth stretching her seatbelt as far as it would go.

"Ryan relax, we went over all the possible situations that could happen, and I'll be right next to you if you get stuck," Kathy reassured me talking her hand off my mouth and wiping it on her pants. "Besides the outfits that Patrice picked out, and the touch ups I did on your makeup this morning look amazing."

"You really think so," I mumbled as the car came to a harsh stop outside the school making my stomach flip over like a dolphins at sea world. "I don't know..."

"Ryan, you'll do fine. Marissa, Lara, and their popular groupies will accept you, they will let you into their group, and you will come out of that car Missy and show them you can do just that!" Kathy was shouting like a parent convincing a child to go to their piano lesson. She opened the car door, jumped out, and flew her backpack over her shoulders. Then grabbing my arm and she literally flung me like a catapult into the open where everyone in broad daylight could see. Good thing I wasn't a vampire because then I'd be a pile of goop, instead of just feeling like it.

I covered my eyes with my arm, trying to unsuccessfully camouflage myself into my surroundings. I wish I were a chameleon. They had it easy. Whenever they want to be alone, poof, camouflage. When ever they were going to be eaten by their prey, boom, camouflage. And if by some reason they were stuck in front of a school, and they just got a makeover and don't really want to face anyone and see their reactions, bang, camouflage.

"Ryan, you're being a baby! Stop hiding, and get in that school before I tell my mom, or worse Patrice!" Kathy warned.

"No! Not Patrice!" I screamed imaging the thought of Patrice screeching her car to a stop and turning around from college to come all the way back to Kathy's house, hunt me down, and knock some sense into me. I would rather like to live my life in one whole piece, rather than multiple pieces thank you very much.

I reluctantly took my arm away from my eyes not wanting to see the reaction of the kids walking by. I could just see it now, people pointing and laughing at me, mocking my existence. Telling me to go join to circus and tryout for the bearded lady. At least then I would get paid for being ugly and not just let people see it everyday free of charge.

But when my eyes came to a focus what I saw was nothing like I had imagined. People that passing by were looking at me, staring, but instead of laughing and pointing they were complimenting me. They were noticing me, asking me what's up, telling me they like my outfit, my hair, my...everything. The plan was actually working. Who knew Kathy's plans actually worked?

"See, look at how many people like the new you. Everyone loves it, and we haven't been here more than five minutes." Kathy stated as a group of girls in our grade stopped right in their tracks.

"Ryan, is that you? You look...great. I love it!" One of the girls spoke, while the others gave reassuring comments.

"Yeah, thanks?" I answered unsure still if they were talking to the right person. Did they by accident think I was one of their other friends that suspiciously had the same name and looked exactly like me?

"See you later Ryan." The same girl who spoke before finished the conversation and walked away commanding the girls to follow her like robotic zombies.

A girl who I barely talked to came up to me in the middle of nowhere just to say that I looked great! I couldn't believe this was happening to me. Who would have thought that a baseball playing, dirt covered, grime smothered Ryan would be complimented on her looks. This was amazing!

"Well, what are you waiting for, let's do this!" I said as my self-esteem catapulted off the radar and into space where it did summersaults and twists like a professional gymnast.

Kathy followed my racing body and we walked into the school like we owned it. People turned their heads towards us to see what all the fuss was about. They made comments as we passed and I sucked them in like a dirt devil vacuum machine. Even teachers in halls stopped to see what all the crowding was about. I had everyone eating out of my hands, like pigeons at a park, and it felt...good!

The walk to our lockers felt like it was all in slow motion. Each step felt like it was measured in years instead of seconds. Each moment seemed to pass slower than a tortoise sleepwalking. But everything zapped back to normal speed as soon as they arrived. Down at the farthest corner of the hallway like a light at the end of a dark bat-infested tunnel—a tunnel that you wish would end but once you saw the ending you wish you hadn't. You really wish you hadn't.

"There they are! Come on, this is your chance...Ryan!" Kathy whispered violently as she turned and saw I had stopped in my tracks a few paces back. She backtracked to find me leaning on a wall and staring at my feet as if they were telling me an interesting story about a piece of gum named Theodore who was the ruler of the gum kingdom.

"Ryan, what are you doing? The popular kids are on the other side of the hallway and you're standing here like a baby! Now get up and show them what we worked on!" Kathy grabbed my wrist and tried to pull it off the wall, but my resistance was too strong. I pulled back as she pulled forward. Almost like a tug of war, but instead of using a rope we were unfortunately using my limb that felt like it would fall off any minute. And if Kathy thinks that I will go up to the Pops with my arm hanging out like a wet noodle she better think again because body parts looking like wet pasta is only acceptable on Halloween and frequent flyer holidays.

"No! Don't make me go! I'm not ready! I don't want to!" I cried out like a toddler being faced to go to the doctor to get their shots. I knew that I looked amazing and felt amazing too, but when I saw them at the end of that hallway all my confidence went down the toilet, flushed down like waste, never to see the light of day again.

"You can do this Ryan! I know you can!" Kathy reassured me as she yanked one last time getting me to stand up straight without the support of the wall. "Now let's go!"

And with that little pep talk Kathy took her free hand and shoved me around the corner to the hallway that the Pops where last sighted. Not expecting to be pushed to my Pop fate, I almost tripped over myself and did a potential face plant, but something that had the smell of fruity goodness broke my fall. It was nice and soft like fresh linen out of a closet.

I jerked my head to see what saved me from my face plant of doom, but when I did I quickly regretted ever taking even the slightest glance. I regretted taking one step into that hallway. I even regretted not learning how to tie my shoes correctly because if I had any clue as to how to tie a knot, then I would have never fell and never smacked right into Marissa, Lara, and the rest of the Pop's.

Here we go again.

Chapter 14: Keep your Fake Friends Close

"What in the world are you doing? Get off!" Marissa yelped as she pushed me away and wiped her hands on the person next to her as if I was contagious and could spread my deadly germs. But as she turned forward with her groupies to give me a shove, she stopped. Just stopped as if the floor in front of her disappeared and she was stuck on an island of titles. It was if she just noticed who she was mouthing off to. Noticed that she was talking to someone who looked as if they came from a fairy tale about princesses and princes. Noticed that the person in front of her wasn't an ordinary dweeb, or nerd. She just noticed...me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there...Do I...I know you?" Marissa asked this time giving me respect that only can be given to the finest royalty in England. Lara and the others mimicked Marissa's actions and apologized looking sorrier than a two headed horse on skates singing a song from Phantom of the Opera.

What do I say? What do I do? I DON'T KNOW!

I whip my body around in a weird angle looking for the magical disappearing Kathy, who said she would help me! Now wasn't the time to be practicing your magic act, Kathy. Come on, why did this always happen to me? Wasn't there anyone else who needed to be tortured on a regular basis? How about math teachers? Couldn't they get punished once in a while? I mean two plus two, that's inhuman behavior; I demand they get locked up immediately!

I quickly reposition myself to face the Pops.

Okay, maybe if I smile big and try to act natural they won't think I'm weird or un-normal or smell funny. Wait, do I smell? Did I even put on deodorant today? Hold on, smile bigger. I give my biggest smile, showing all of my pearly whites like a shark would when scaring off its prey. Yeah that will defiantly get them to like me.

"Yeah, you do know me." I said through my gritted shark smile

"Ryan?" Lara poked her head out of the sea of Pops. "You look..."

"...popular" Marissa finished as my shoulders fell flat like a deflated tire. Marissa, Miss I-am-the-most-popular-person-on-the-face-of-the-Earth-and-nobody-is-worthy-of-my-existence, just called me popular. Is this opposite day because if it was than this would be a very cruel and unusual joke.

"What are you doing Marissa? It's, Ryan!" One of the girls whispered from within the popular crowd as my shoulders tensed up again.

"You know the rules. It is stated in the book of popularity section 3, paragraph 5, sentence 10, that if someone in the school has the look of popularity then we have no choice but to accept them into the group." Marissa stated giving the phrase, "no choice" more emphasis then was necessary. Wow, they really took this being popular gig so seriously. I mean sitting together at lunch, and finishing each others sentences is one thing, but to have a rule book on what is "popular" behavior is down right, take-me-to-mars-and-feed-me-bananas, ridiculous. But what could I say, I asked for it.

"But that means..." the same girl from before peeped up again.

"That means Ryan's in and you're out. Oh, so sorry, but you need to leave...NOW." Marissa whipped as she pointed to the girl, who surprised as anyone else, left the group throwing a pink bracelet with tears glazing her eyes. Wow, this group is tougher than my mom's cooking.

"Ryan, unfortunately, you are now apart of the popular group." Marissa said turning to me. She gave me a bracelet that the girl before threw, and placed it on my hand. "Don't mess it up."

All the Pops suddenly engulfed me into the middle of their crowd. I was bombarded with questions. How did you get your new look? How much did it cost? What color is your favorite? Did you see the American Idol last week? They were like little birds chirping in my ear. Little popular birds.

"Ryan, I love the new look." Zak's voice popped out like lightening in the midnight sky. My face started to turn a slight pink, and my heart skipped a beat or two or three. My mouth just dropped open, eyes glazed like a Krispy Cream doughnut that had been sitting outside in boiling temperatures for five days. And just a little warning, never leave Krispy Cream doughnuts unattended, it is against the rights of the doughnut. Don't mess with doughnut law. It gets sticky.

Suddenly, the ten-minute warning bell erupted through the school. Everyone started to head their way down to their first class. The Pops dispersed in formation, saying they would see me later. I was about to follow until a voice that could halt an earthquake to a stop called my name causing my whole body to freeze from head to toe.

Not. Again.

"Dumpling, you look sweeter than all the gummy bears in my Periodic-Table lunchbox." I flipped around as soon as the Pops were out of sight, out of earshot, out of radar, because what could happen in the next five minutes wasn't going to be too pretty or legal for that fact.

"What in the name of Franklin D. Roosevelt are you doing?" I asked as my fingers pulsed to the beat of my pounding heart. My nostrils flared while my feet twitched into a crinkled mess.

"I am complimenting the bestest person in the whole universe, silly." Pete stated as he revealed himself from behind the shadows of a doorway. His head look like a swollen balloon while his glasses had a new addition of freshly applied tape. Oh my flying Dumbo!

"That is very nice and all, but I DO NOT care!" I shouted in the empty hallway trying to contain myself. I'm sorry but what did I have to do to get it through Pete's thick oversized cranium that I do not want anything to do with him. For all I cared he could go to Africa, find the rarest rose in a wild jungle of hyenas, change his name to Sir William, and I still wouldn't give him a second glace. Maybe if he changed his name to Charles that would be a different story, because really, who can resist anyone named Charles.

"You're pretty when you're angry." Pete breathed stepping closer to me, invading on my personal bubble. Excuse me, do you have a VIP special edition pass to Ryan's Personal Bubble?...You don't have one...hmmm...then don't trespass!

"Go away" My lips trembled, trying to still keep my cool.

"For now, my dearest, but we shall see each other very soon."

"No we won't."

"Yes we will..." And like that he vanished. Just disappeared. Deep down, I hoped he'd get lost in the 6th grade hallway. That hallway changes you...and not for the better.

I hunched over as I picked up the weight of my obese backpack, the eeriness of the silent hallway sucking me in. Where in the pea sized brains was Kathy. The Kathy who promised she would help! Oh I will be there for you Ryan! Don't worry we are in this together! Yeah right...

"Pssst..." I snapped around causing my backpack to swing and jab me in the stomach. Okay whoever was calling me better have a good reason because that punch in the gut just did wonders for my digestive track.

I ignored the whispering and started to walk away when I was suddenly blinded by a pair of icy hands. The fingers pressed hard onto my face as if it were a game controller instead part of my body. Hey, my head might look like a videogame but that doesn't mean you can use it like one.

The person whose hands were locked onto my skull started to speak and in a really slow breathy voice, almost like Darth Vader. "Ryan... (Breath)...I...am...you're..."

"Nooooo!" I screamed falling to my knees taking the person, with their hands I might add, down with me. Kathy flipped over my bent body, laughing hysterically, with tears building up in her eyes.

"Hey you didn't let me finish," Kathy crackled as she caught her breath.

"Well, you don't deserve to finish after what you did to me." I laughed not taking Kathy's practical joke seriously. I straightened out on the floor while Kathy offered her icy hand to help me up.

"Sorry, but you have to learn to do this on your own. Mama isn't always going to be there to hold your hand." Kathy stated as she jolted me upright.

"A little warning would have been nice! I mean come one, a twitch of the nose or twirling your hair, like a secret code or something. Even holding up a big huge poster that said I am leaving you, would have been at least a smidge helpful. I can't read minds you know." I started as Kathy and I slowly walked down the hallway towards our first class which was going to start soon.

All the hallways were deserted, and hollow. The lockers that usually were a symphony of creaks weren't making a peep today. The school looked as if it was absent of any living life forms except for Kathy and I. It was as if halls were told to be quiet, to keep shut, to not warn. Warn about what...?

"So what did happen with the popular kids...?" Kathy erupted like an earthquake in a small village. All the towns people running to take cover. Oh no what shall we do? The dreaded Kathy-quake is going to eat our village! Its vibrations are going to split our town into millions of pieces. We're too young and innocent to become earthquake meat!

"Ryan?"

"Oh, um, well..." I said as Kathy interrupted my little scene I had going on inside my head. You know a little visual aid never hurt anyone except Picasso...well mostly anyone.

Suddenly I stopped in the middle of the hallway as if the next step would have blown us to pieces. A familiar sound caked the air like a slow leaking gas making my stomach drop.

"What?" Kathy asked as she imitated me and stopped right in the middle of the hallway. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"That!" I violently whispered as the sound of footsteps, and chatter, which seemed to come from behind us, became clearer with each second. The voices boomed like thunder bouncing against an old wooden house.

But one voice was clearer and stood out the most. One voice that made shivers travel down my spine. One voice that I hadn't prepared for, that I didn't have a script. One familiar voice that had self-centeredness and control written all over it.

"Hey ladies," Dan spoke in a voice that seemed like a sugary sprinkled cupcake but tasted like snake venom. Obviously not recognizing Kathy and I from our backs.

Both Kathy and I were not facing him but I knew Dan's voice. And I knew that Dan, who thought he was all that and a bag of Doritos, was undoubtedly being followed by the whole baseball team. The WHOLE team. The team that would pee in their pants and bang their heads against lockers laughing at the thought of what I was trying to do. The whole team which included Alex, who by the way still hadn't spoken to me since our last baseball game. But who cared? I mean I was popular now, well according to the "popular rule book" I guess. I didn't have to impress Dan, the team, or even Alex, anymore.

I twisted my head towards Kathy who was just as clueless as how to handle this. I mean should we pretend we didn't hear them and run down the hall like crazy lunatics. Or maybe we could shove ourselves in the nearest garbage can and hope they lose interest in us. Anything would be better than facing them.

Whistles shot through the air and into my ear as the footsteps came closer to where we were standing. "Hey looking good!" random shouting came from the crowd of unmannered boys. Apparently still not knowing that they were taunting their former Home-Run-Hitting Queen. Was I that different?

"Come on turn around! Show us your beautiful face!" A roar came from within the team. Didn't their parents ever teach them manners!

"Let's get this over with." I mumbled to Kathy who gave me a reassuring nudge even though I felt regret pooling throughout my body as soon as I looked over my shoulder. I mean sooner or later they were going to realize that it was me. The whole school was going to realize. I guess it was better to reveal my "big secret" in an empty hallway rather than in front of a sea of middle school kids who would laugh at anything Dan or the others would say.

I sucked in a deep breath and clench my fist so I wouldn't have the urge to punch anyone off their feet. That would actually be cool though. Punching Dan right in the gut for any remarks he has made in the past. I would hit him so hard that he would clutch his stomach in pain and roll into a ball crying to his mommy. But I didn't want to embarrass him just yet. Save the humiliation for another day.

Kathy touched my arm and gave me a slight pinch for good luck as both of us turned around slowly revealing ourselves. The eight guys on the team had their mouths down to the floor and eyes bigger than their fists. Drool started to leak out on some of them. Okay, who wants to tell them their mouths are leaking water like a broken pipe. Someone call a plumber.

But the shock and slight embarrassment that silenced the guy's enormous mouths didn't last for long. Laughter compensated for that. Giggles reached the ceiling of the school and to the basement were I swear there was a secret underground dungeon. Tears streamed their eyes as if it was a raging river at an amusement park. Someone was actually laughing so hard that he slapped his knee until it was red with pain. Okay, news flash, nothing is that funny!

"What happened, Ryan? Did someone knock some pretty into you!"

"I never knew you were a girl!"

"Maybe if you get her wet she might melt."

"Guys don't look. She's blinding my eyes!"

All the guys were shouting at once. But I wasn't focused on them or what they had to say. I wasn't focused on the redness of their face, or how their laughter was only getting louder with each gasp of air. I wasn't even focused on the way that Dan was on the floor, pounding at the tiles like it was too much for him to handle (which it probably was). Even when half the baseball team was wheezing for air like a deflating balloon, I wasn't focused. I was only focused on one person. The one person who out of all the team had no reaction and was staring at the floor trying to distract himself.

The one person who used to be my friend.

"Come on, Ryan, let's go." Kathy urged as she tugged on my T-shirt and dragged me away from the pack of hyenas as if I was a piece of dried up meat that no longer satisfied them. "They don't matter anymore."

They didn't matter anymore! They were no longer in control of my life. My new life was about impressing and fitting in with the Pops. My new life only had room for perfection. My new life had no error. And my new life definitely didn't include those guys on the baseball team. Those eight obnoxious guys.

My life didn't concern them or Alex. Not anymore.

Chapter 15: Daven's Favorite Student

The laughter of the boys on the baseball team lingered in the empty hallway, ringing in my ears as if they were still right next to me. Still laughing at me. Still on the floor rolling around as if the laughter was inside them, knocking them over until it found the way to their mouths and out for everyone to hear. But surprisingly that didn't bother me. Not as much as seeing Alex not even able to make eye contact with me. Not able to give me a gesture, a sign. Nothing. He just stood there in his own world, not paying attention to the guys, or their laughing. Not even paying attention to me.

"So what did happen with the popular kids? You never told me. Oh and don't spare the details." Kathy's voice was like the gong inside my head snapping me out of my vision. I was leaning against a random locker, fidgeting with my newly acquired bracelet, replaying all the events this morning.

"Um...well when they first saw me they acted like I was deadly scum, but then they noticed how I looked and totally changed as if I just transformed into magical being right before their eyes." I retold the story to Kathy. "Then they kicked out this poor girl and gave me her spot in the group."

I showed Kathy the new bracelet Marissa gave me. She stared at it as if it was made of a rare kind of gold that no one in the world has seen before and millions of people had been searching years trying to find it. Okay maybe the bracelet was special but not that special that Kathy had to be literally drooling over it. What is with people and drooling around me? Next time I talk to someone I'm bring an umbrella in case the forecast calls for sunshine with the slight chance of drool.

"Wow! I told you it would work!" Kathy shouted even though I was standing right next to her. She was so excited that instead of tapping my shoulder, she missed and ended up hitting the locker behind me. "Ouch...I knew it would work!"

"Yeah, it worked. I'm popular." I said more to myself than to Kathy. Letting the words sink into me, through my veins up into my mid-sized brain. All the hard work, all the time, and all the Patrice that I could handle, actually paid off. I was finally popular.

I looked over to Kathy to see if she was as excited as I was to know that my dream was coming true but to my surprise her face was a little worried. She kept looking down at her watch as if looking at it several times would change it. Sorry to burst your bubble Kathy, but staring at your watch trying to change time, won't work. Trust me I know. After three hours of gazing into the digital lines of the numbers on your clock you get the idea that you don't have any super abilities that have to do with time.

"Not to be a party pooper..." she started in a squeaky voice

"Yeah..." I encouraged her, bracing myself for what she had to say, knowing it wasn't going to be good.

"And ruin this wonderful news but..."

"Spit it out!"

"Class started two minutes ago!" she choked out looking back at her watch.

"No, the ten minute bell practically just rang." I tried to reason even though sweat starting to collect into beads on my forehead. I tried to tell myself that the clock was wrong even though my hands were shaking. Oh great, why did this always happen to me!

"That was twelve minutes ago!"

Cheese it! We probably didn't hear the bell because of those stinkin' boys that were laughing harder than a neighborhood of dogs barking, all the cars alarms in the world going off at the same time, and Spongebob Squarepants crying about his pineapple house being destroyed.

Suddenly everything went silent. All movement stopped. All noise was captured. Kathy was frozen right in front of me, her mouth a squiggly line of fear. The hallways were still as if it was a picture and not real life. I couldn't hear anything. Concentrate on anything. Nothing except the steady beat of my heart and the deep gasping of my breath. Then everything suddenly came back to life and focus again. And the reality of the situation hit hard like a baseball to the head.

"Come on! Ryan, run!" Kathy shouted already making her way into a track runner's sprint. I followed her getting into a leaping sort of run that looked clumsy next to her's. My knees started to flame like a barbeque grill while my hands were already getting sore from gripping them so tightly.

Okay, this proves that I am not made for any sport that involves running for a long time. And don't be like, oh I thought she plays baseball. Well you know what baseball is for people who like sports but don't necessary run much. The most running you have to do is going from base to base, and if you call that running, you're out of luck, buddy.

As I sprinted down the hall with Kathy by my side, I came to the realization that I couldn't make a scene of myself. I had to be careful now. I was a Pop now! I was representing the popular kids. One mess up and Marissa or Lara would just as easily and willingly snatch off my bracelet and kick me out of their group. I mean look what they did to that other girl. All she did was talk out of turn. She didn't even say much, and poof she was gone. Just like that. No questions asked. Goodbye and don't come back.

Kathy and I skidded around a corner almost falling off balance and slamming into a trashcan. All I can say is that luck was on our side for once, and we stopped right before any collisions could have happened. We stopped a moment to catch our breath only to jump a complete set of stairs the next. We ran faster than a whole group of dogs chasing one poor innocent cat.

"Wait stop!" I gasped stopping in front of a classroom marked room 202, Mrs. Riley. And before Kathy could backtrack to the room she just over ran, I cracked the door open and slipped inside.

You know those moments that your body thinks before your brain does, I tend to have those moments more than any other average person. Personally I think it was a disease. Not thinking before you act. I really should consult a doctor about this, because my body felt the need to not listen to a word my brain was saying!

"Ryan, how nice of you to visit. I know just how much you love math." A deep voiced boomed at the sight of me.

I stopped in the middle of the classroom that was usually occupied by Mrs. Riley's class. But funny enough, Mrs. Riley or her class of mutated animals were nowhere to be found. And if somehow they were in this very room then they must be hiding or the size of ants, because clearly this wasn't the right room.

But lucky for me you guys, get this, Mr. Daven and his math class were in this room! This would be slightly funny and somewhat hilarious if I happen to be watching this in a movie or this was someone else in my place, but being that I was Ryan, and I seemed to be cursed with the embarrassment gene, it wasn't quite funny.

"Ryan, should I get you a seat. You know if you wanted another math class you should have asked." Daven spoke in his deep thundering voice that had a little sarcasm in it. Okay, bud, nobody gets to do the sarcasm here but me!

Not thinking again before I spoke, unfortunately I will have to live with this disease, I started to make up anything that could get me out of this mess. "So, Mr. Daven, I am so sorry that I happen to pop in like this..."

"Sadly I agree, it is sort of unfortunate." he interrupted.

"Yes, well, I was on my way to class as usual..." I continued searching around the room for something that I could put into my story. Let's see, titled floor, not really going to help. The chalk board that read, Mrs. Riley's class in room 102, wont really help now but would have been helpful about five minutes ago. Then I found Zak's eyes in the front row. Oh grated cow cheese! I always had to make a fool of myself in front of people that I really wanted to impress. But Zak's eyes didn't seem to give off a, what are you doing, vive. His eye's seemed to encourage me to keep on going.

"Go on, this should be interesting." Daven gave one of his smiles that resembled a mad scientist that just discovered the serum to make a deadly virus. Please tell me Daven was only a math teacher, and not a part time villain.

"And..." I stuttered like a babbling buffoon.

"And she saw me in the hallway to try to help me with a quick question about math." A voice that seemed sweeter than any chocolate known to Earth or the entire galaxy spoke in a smooth silky voice. Zak stood out of his seat, and spoke up to help...me? He actually was backing me up, standing up for me so I didn't look like a complete fool. Oh my goshness, he was so cool! "She just wanted to make sure I got the problem. Thanks, Ryan. All good here."

Daven grabbed his chin that was decorated with unsmooth scruff. He seemed to consider this possible explanation. "Well if you think that I am going to believe this nonsense without proof, you have another thing coming."

"Fine I will prove it." I spoke grabbing chalk from the board and erasing the message from Mrs. Riley that could have been helpful before but now was taking up board space. "Give me a problem from the homework. Challenge me!"

Okay maybe challenge was the wrong word to say to a math teacher. A math teacher who right now wanted anything to prove me wrong. Me and my big annoying mouth needed to go over some basic rules here. Number one, don't speak unless you have thoroughly thought it through, and considered all the possibilities. And that would be only the start.

"I'll make a deal with you. Do the first problem on the homework page with no errors, and I will take your word on your story. If it is wrong than you'll be spending after school time with your favorite teacher in your favorite class, doing your favorite subject. Do I make myself clear." Daven said not skipping a beat.

"Crystal."

I took the piece of paper he was holding out and studied the first problem.

Let's see here.

2x + 3 = 3x - 5.

Okay, taking in that I was getting a B in math class, and that Daven happened to pick the easiest problem on the page I wasn't that worried. The sweat that started to pile at the end of my brows started to disappear and the shakiness inside me became still. Plus the look in Zak's eyes gave me an extra boost of confidence. Look out Daven, because here I go.

I pressed the chalk hard down on the board creating dust everywhere. My hand was going as fast as someone who just consumed three cups of coffee and two pieces of cake. (Note: do not attempt to have three cups of coffee or two pieces of cake in the same day or it will result in more hyperactivity than you can handle). It was like my hand had its own brain jammed up in between my knuckles. My hand didn't even stop to take a break until the whole problem, answer and all was written in plain sight. I dropped the piece of half used chalk, thanks to me, and listen to the satisfying clunk it made in contact with the metal of the chalk holder.

All the students glared at the chalkboard, trying in their heads to see if I was brilliantly right, or foolishly wrong. I could live with either, except one of those possibilities would result with Daven and I spending more quality time than usual. And nobody wanted that.

Daven stared at the problem, taking everything in, from the numbers on the board to the color of the chalk. He was making sure that everything was absolutely correct. One mistake, just one tiny molecule of a mistake, than Daven would gladly hand me a detention slip without a second thought. Something he clearly wanted to do since the first time I met him.

You didn't hear it from me, but personally, I thought he had a grudge against people that could play a sport that he could only play in his dreams. Sorry Daven, but getting a homerun in la-la land wasn't the same as getting one in the real world. Trust me, real is better.

Daven looked away from the board with his evil grin, more evil than usual if you could believe it. Where did you learn to have such a look? I mean did you have to go to a certain school and get a degree in scary evil faces, or was he just born with the natural talent!

"Sorry Ryan, but you and I have a date after school. And don't forget to bring your workbook." Daven spoke in an icy voice that slit right through my skin.

What in the name of mushy potatoes that have been flicked at my face was he talking about! I did that problem without any mistakes, and if he said otherwise he should be taken away and be put back in kindergarten!

"Your answer is 8" he spoke as the class gave gasps as their reaction.

"The answer is 8!" I nearly shouted knowing for a fact that it was correct.

"The correct answer is not 8!" he said with more intensity this time.

"THEN WHAT IS THE ANSWER?" My face started burning in anger.

"The answer that is right and that everyone should have on their papers is..." he started addressing the whole class, "...x = 8."

"Come on! It is the same thing!" This was so stupid if he was going to give me detention, he could have come up with a better excuse. Like say, Ryan was always late, or Ryan always goes to the wrong first period class. Even saying that my feet smelt would be acceptable. But a stupid reason like not putting an "x" in your answer is crazy. A bonehead who never took math in his entire life would say x = 8 and 8 was the same exact, call-me-a-liar-if-not THING.

"In the world of math those are two completely different answers. Please take this slip and I shall see you later today after school." Daven spoke with a grin as he gave me a detention slip and sat back down at his desk.

I just stood where I was as if I forgot the basics of living. How to breathe, how to walk, and how to speak were not known in my brain as of this moment. My face crumpled into a half surprised and half I'm going to chop you into meat ball salad face.

The only working part of my body turn to face Zak who gave me a thumbs-up. Okay so the coolest, hottest most popular guy in school just saw me make a total fool of myself and gave me a thumbs-up? I guess that I did something remotely cool for him to back me up. If you count standing up to a meatball headed math teacher remotely cool I guess.

"You may leave now." Daven spoke in a stern annoyed tone.

I just stared at Zak.

"Ryan, it would be best if you would go."

Zak's hair, his lips, his beautiful eyes that preyed on the innocent...

"Ryan, go!" Daven nearly shouted at me to get out of his classroom.

Okay, my cheesiness, you didn't have to ask me twice (three times would do). I would have left the second I got inside if I could. I mean, who in their right mind would want to have more than one class with the "Daven". This guy gave me the creeps just saying his name let alone looking at him. I guess, though, I'll have to tough it up for our little session after school. Maybe if I eat a whole jar of hoarse radish for lunch the fumes alone will make me sick enough to leave school early and skip our little detention session. It was worth a shot.

I snapped the classroom door open and shut it closed as if there was a dangerous gas inside that would kill me if I was in their any longer. Yeah, I am referring to Daven as a poisonous gas, you got a problem with that? If you do, you can actually contact my lawyer...

"So..." Kathy's voice popped like a firecracker as soon as the door slammed.

"Ahh! Don't sneak up on a person like that! Next time you scare me I'll end up in the hospital from shock, and you'll feel so bad that you'll send me all the flowers that your allowance can pay for. And knowing that your allowance can't buy me out of jail, that's not asking for a lot." I said still standing outside of Daven's temporary classroom.

"So what happened?" Kathy finished her question. Starting to walk in the right direction where Mrs. Riley's class really was.

"No, first you answer my question! Why didn't you stop me if you knew that Mrs. Riley's class wasn't in there?" I whined as I followed Kathy who turned a corner.

"First of all you went in the classroom before I could warn you." She started speeding up her pace. "And second of all, it was kind of funny."

I had no answer to that.

"Anyway, come on! Tell me what happened in there!" Kathy raised her hands in annoyance of not knowing.

"What do you think happened? Mr. Daven, me, and the rest of the class sat down for an early morning coffee break. There were cookies, and crumpets, and even a magical dragon named Philip who made marshmallows come out of his nose." I said sarcastically as I followed Kathy down the hallway.

"What really happened?" Kathy begged not buying the story. Who could blame her? I wouldn't even believe myself with my kind of lying skills.

All I had to do was hold up the pink detention slip that Daven gave me, and Kathy realized that she should shut her mouth and throw the key down a dark scary hole that ate kids for breakfast.

"Well at least you'll keep your image up." Kathy stated as she turned a corner going down some stairs.

"What do you mean by that?" I sounded a little offended. I knew that I was a tough cookie, but I didn't get detention and talk back to teachers that often and by "that often" I mean like never. I'd like to actually graduate from this middle school in the near future, thank you very much.

"I mean, that only the cool kids wind up in detention."

Blank stare

"Meaning the Pops."

Mouth wide open, catching some bug action.

"Meaning that you're not in big doo-doo."

Now that caught my attention. Sometimes my brain, although very intelligent, had moments of weakness. Fortunately those moments were temporary and did not affect my daily academic life. I couldn't say much for the other times, though.

Kathy opened the door to Mrs. Riley's real classroom being careful not to cause too much attention, like I needed it. "Anyways you're a Pop now. Anything and everything you do is legend. You're like a mega star in middle school terms."

And with that the door opened. Exposing Kathy and I to the whole class who, like usual, was being noisier than a band of wild monkeys playing the drums. All eyes were on us. Marissa even stared at me with her long lashes, and glittery eyes. It was kind hard to tell what she was thinking though since her looks always consist of sneers, especially when they are directed to me.

"Glad you two can join us. Now we can start class officially." Mrs. Riley spoke as I gave her the pink slip to sign.

You know Mrs. Riley was really truly the coolest teacher ever. I mean Kathy and I were about fifteen minutes late and she acted like nothing even happened. Now if Daven was my first period teacher that would be a different story. Let's just say he and I would spend more time after school with each other than I did with my friends.

I started to make my way down the row passing the baseball guys with their evil looks of death written and addressed to me. You know I like receiving mail, but not this kind. I passed Alex who didn't even bother to look in my direction. Good, I didn't want to look at him anyway.

I sat down in my regular seat next to Kathy, and started to take out my silent reading book for our morning reading. But as I did I heard a whisper shoot right through the air and into my ear. I snapped my head up and saw Marissa who was waving at me and pointing at a seat next to her that was empty. With no delay, I picked up my stuff and moved to the seat a row across, by Marissa.

"See, mega star." Kathy said under breathe as I moved and sat next to the most popular kid in the school, and started out my first day as Ryan the Pop. I could get use to that. Popular Ryan.

Chapter 16: Lies with the Side of Pizza

The bell for lunch rang crystal clear throughout the school.

Silence...

And then...all chaos broke loose.

Kids swarmed the hallways out of the classrooms in floods. Doors slamming open as if the hulk was crushing them out of anger because he didn't get the last ice cream bar from the neighborhood ice cream man. Watch out for ice cream men they are one scary species. And just to make a note out there, if you are ever planning to buy ice cream, never pay the man in pennies. Why? Just ask the Hulk and his empty, not full of ice cream, stomach.

Shouts leaked throughout the hallway like wildfire. People who knew each other were waving across from different paths, shouting about how boring one class was, or how hard that history test had been. Some brave kids even decided to interrupt the constant flow of kid traffic to get to the other side, and were quickly trampled form the river of hungry kids on a mission to the cafeteria.

"Hey."

I turned my head to face the swarm of kids trying to find the owner of the voice. But it was impossible. It would be easier to track down a speck of dirt named Gordo who played the tiniest violin rather than find someone in this crowd. Gordo, where are you?

"Ryan!"

Someone tugged on my shirt almost making me trip over myself and several other people but instead of landing straight on my butt, I landed against a hard cold locker. Even better! I always wanted to be slammed face first into a metal locker. Only, when I was imaging this I had the power to go through the locker.

"Hey, I was talking to you. Don't you have ears?"

You know that is a very weird and funny question to ask a person who you just pushed into a locker. Of course I have ears. What do you think I am? My ears are not made of doughnuts and therefore I do have ears and can hear. But if I was in a terrible accident and the doctors had to amputate my ears then I wouldn't mind having doughnut ears.

I focused on the person's hand that was still gripped tightly to my shirt. Okay, bud, if you want to pull on me that was one thing, but pulling on my brand new shirt that cost more than my mitt and bat combined, was another level. I didn't care if you were the principal of the school, President of the United States or...

"Marissa!" I said in the happiest tone I could possible come up with, which didn't sound that happy at all. It actually sounded more like a squeaky mouse that sucked in so much helium that he was floating off the ground. It was one thing to be the worst liar on the face of this planet, but now my voice wouldn't even work. They should put me on America's Funniest home videos. Just standing there would be funny enough.

"Yeah, I know, it's me!" Marissa cleared her throat as if I should be honored to be in her presence and roll out a red carpet. She peeled me off the lockers and snapped me onto my feet. "Sorry about that. Did I hurt you?"

Okay, who sucked all the evil out of Marissa and replaced it with heart-filled goodness. Was this a trick? Did someone plan this? Am I on Punk'd? Ashton, come out where ever you are! Silly Ashton!

Or maybe Marissa just was really just a nice person inside all along who wanted to help people and one day become the leader of a third world country just out of the goodness of her small speck of a heart. And maybe I'll start levitating and never have to walk again. Yeah right!

"I'm fine." I snapped but quickly remembering that I was a Pop and had to be nice to Marissa since she kind of had the power to kick me out of the group at any second. It probably was a good idea to be somewhat of a good person to her. Somewhat being a key word. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you."

Marissa let go to me and headed into the sea of kids when she shot her head back as if to say, follow me now or I will eat your brains for lunch. Since I was cursed with the irrational fear of people eating my brains, I bulldozed the people in front of me like a linebacker on a football team feeling the sudden need to protect my brain.

"So how did you get...detention?" Marissa raised her eyebrows as I caught up with her. What a way to start a conversation. It's like asking a person who just got out of prison, what did you get in the clink for? Didn't anybody ask how you are anymore?

"Well..."

"It was actually a funny story..." Someone's hands flew in between Marissa and mine, parting us like the Red Sea and pushing us into kids heading for the cafeteria. The hands gripped our shoulders as if letting go would cause the person to fall into a deep pit filled of regret and little baby tears.

Suddenly Kathy sprouted in the space she just made like a magic trick. Marissa's face took a turn for the worst and twisted into a look that a medieval dragon would run from as the three of us squished through the crowd.

Ever since this morning when I was initiated into the Pops, Marissa was like a new person. Real different. All day she and I were like glue. Very sticky annoying super strong glue. Everywhere she went I got dragged along with against my will. In every class we had together, she saved an open seat next to her that was usually reserved for Lara. Even when we need a partner she grabbed my hand and whipped me towards her so nobody would have a chance to take me away. Kathy would just look at me with irritation seeping from her body, coming out her nose and spurring from her ears. But she knew that it was for the Pops. It was what they did, what Marissa did. She knew that.

"Excuse me, did I ask you how Ryan got detention?" Marissa snapped back like a sharp toothed tiger ready to eat its prey.

"No, but..."

"Exactly I didn't ask you. Anyway this is a private conversation." Marissa said gritting her teeth as she took a tissue out of her purse and snatched the cafeteria door open. "So if you don't mind, would you please leave our presence?"

Kathy stomped through the door after Marissa with fire behind her eyes. She gripped her hands making her knuckles redder than burning campfire. I tried to give her a look, like a silent code. Something to say that I'm sorry and I knew that Marissa was being a bone headed, pea brain, chicken breath snob but Kathy walked away without a second glance.

I started following Kathy so I could explain but a hand stopped me mid-step. The hand was gently but strong. It felt like honey that was cemented into the shape of a perfectly sculpted piece of art. Was this who I thought it was? Was it Alex finally here to apologize and mend our friendship? Maybe...

I turned around expecting to have Alex's oversized smile but held in a gasp as Zak's face greeted me. His straight beautiful hair was sticking up slightly and his eyes were only concentrated on me and me alone. Not Marissa, who by the way, had her mouth down to the ground, and eyes glazed at what she was seeing.

Everything seemed to melt around Zak and I. Like a big pot of chocolate fondue, creamy and sweat. My arms and legs felt loopy and numb as if all the bones were taken out and replaced with fat free vanilla yogurt. My eyes bugged out and almost started watering from forgetting that fact that humans needed to blink.

Okay, ready blink. Good job Ryan!

"Are you eating with us today?" Zak spoke in a velvet voice that made my knees buckle.

I followed Zak's fingertip in the direction of a table that was in the middle of the cafeteria where five Pops were already seated. The table was glowing as if there was a star embedded inside, taken as prisoner from breaking space law. Lesson learned is when you do something bad in space, don't do it near a star space police station. You're just asking for it then.

The top of the table was shinier than teeth on a toothpaste commercial. Even the air around it smelled like it came right from a perfume bottle, and not the cheap kind either. The coolest table in the whole school, in the whole building, in the whole state (okay maybe the whole county), and I was asked to sit at it.

"Of course she is eating with us," Marissa wrapped an arm around me, interrupting the conversation. "She's one of us now. Right?"

"Yeah. Right!" I mumbled trying to resist temptation to shrug off Marissa and not to act like a total dumbo in front of Zak at the same time.

"Cool. I'll save you a seat." Zak nodded as he gave a heat crushing smile and headed towards the glow of the cool table, adding to the shine as he sat down.

"Let's go." Marissa commanded tugging on my shirt that was stretching out more than a fat man on a bungee cord. Okay enough with the shirt torture!

Marissa dragged me all the way to the lunch line as if I was a dog who forgot how to use his own feet. But instead of heading towards the back of the line that was now longer than peak season at a Disney World, we found ourselves at the beginning of the line in front of Kathy who had her plate out in midst of catching the last piece of pizza which, like weirdly timed fate, plopped right onto Marissa's tray instead.

"Hey, you guys cut." Kathy cried out as her cheeks flashed red in anger of not getting the lat greasy, smaller than my hand, slimy piece of pizza.

"Yeah! So what are you going to do about it?" Marissa snapped back as last week's Sloppy Joe splattered onto my plate. You know there should be a law against serving food like this in the cafeteria. I mean come on people! Who wanted to eat food that made the trash look appetizing? Don't answer that!

"Ryan, do something." Kathy crossed her arms, her tray getting a scoop of Sloppy Joe as well.

Okay, what was I supposed to do? Kathy was my friend and I didn't want her to be upset. But Marissa was popular, and she controlled my fate. She could kick me out of her popular clique quicker than you could get a stomachache after eating two jars of ice cream. I want wanted to be popular. Wanted to be liked. And if that meant being a horrible two faced no good, slime ball to my best friend than I'm sorry. If that what it would take, then that's what needed to be done.

"Um..."

Marissa glared at me. Her eyes shooting deep into my soul. If I didn't say what she wanted me to say then forget about being popular for sure. I wouldn't be able to show my face in this school ever again. I'll have to move to North Dakota and become a pirate just to save myself from embarrassment. And since no pirates current occupy North Dakota as of my knowledge, I will be a loner all over again.

My eyes focused on Kathy gleaming with apology as soon as I spoke.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it Katharine?" I regretted every word spilling out of my mouth. But it was too late. Too late for that. Kathy took her empty lunch tray and stormed off to a lunch table. Her anger perspired out of her. Even the hairs on her neck were standing up in rage.

What have I done?

"Good one, I didn't know you had it in you girl." Marissa slapped me on the back paying for the pizza that started this whole mess.

"I feel terrible." I managed to squeeze out, mostly talking to myself. I was holding back tears. My throat was closing on me, and my hands shook so much that I thought the money that I was holding would bounce out of my hands.

"You want to know a secret." Marissa whispered with the gentleness of the air.

"What?"

"We're special." Marissa stated as if it were a universal fact. She walked off halting right in front of the popular table, waiting for me to get a close to her. "Popular people are special. We have a special table, a special group, and special rules. We're just...special."

"But..."

"And if you think a non-special geeky kid is going to tell us what to do than you must not be thinking at all. Learn the rules of the popular world or you can kiss our group goodbye!" Marissa placed her tray in a spot right next to Lara. "Oh, and if I catch you talking to that loser Kathy again, don't bother coming back."

My insides condensed into a black hole. They burned as if I stuck a flame down my throat and miraculously survived. I couldn't do that.

I couldn't pretend that Kathy was nothing to me. Ignore her like she didn't exist. I couldn't go through the day knowing that she was miserable, and the connection between us was disintegrating like sugar in water. I couldn't pretend that Kathy was not my friend.

But that was the choice I made.

In order to be popular, and hang out with the Pops, especially Zak, I had to suck it up. If Marissa saw me even glancing in Kathy's direction I would be out of the group faster than yesterday's spoiled gravy. But this is what I wanted. I wanted popularity, to be cool. And there was always a price for the things we wanted. It just happened to be a very high price for me.

"Ryan, sit next to me."

I woke up form my trance, pushing my worries to the back of my head as I followed Zak's voice to the end of the table. He waved me over with a firm soft hand and my throat started to close up again, but this time it was for different reason.

"Hey, so what's up?" Zak made room for me as sat next to him. The closest our bodies have ever been to each other I noted. The scent of his minty breath filling my nostrils. His eyes centered directly at me sending butterflies swarming in my gut. Please don't do anything stupid! Just this once, do not be stupid!

"Nothing...um...yeah..." I stuttered like an airhead. Why couldn't my brain act semi-intelligent just once! I smiled trying to act normal.

"Cool."

"Yeah. Cool."

"I've been wanting to ask you something..." Zak started to say but was interrupted once again, by you guessed it, Marissa. Didn't that girl shut her mouth for like five seconds? Next time she spoke, the duct tape is coming out.

"I'll tell you later," Zak mouthed focusing his eyes on Queen Marissa while mindlessly fiddling with his fork. He was cool even when he wasn't trying. I mean who else could play with eating utensils and make it seem entrancing?

"Did you hear that Ryan got detention?" Marissa sat on her knees as if she was telling a ghost story to the whole camp. The whole table suddenly came to life. People chattered to their neighbors. Gossiping about how it could have happened. How that made me even cooler than I was before. How I was truly one of them.

"She told me personally all about it. Word for word. All the details." Everyone was wide eyed and focused on Marissa. Just the way she wanted it. Everyone to adore her, even if it wasn't her story to tell. It is none of her business, none of anyone's business, of how I got detention.

"This morning after all of us left for class, Ryan stayed back. She leaned against the lockers, and watched the minutes tick by like she didn't even care. And as soon as the bell rang she stuck her nose in the air, and went to the bathroom to freshen up." Marissa lied right through her perfect little teeth. How could she do this to me? She had no idea what happened. The only person who did was Kathy and I and maybe Zak if he was paying attention when I walked into Daven's class this morning.

"Whoa Ryan, I didn't know how cool you were."

"Yeah, so cool."

"I wish I was there."

I glance up from my gaze on the grease of my sloppy Joe. The Pops actually thought this total lie Marissa was telling was cool? They thought getting detention was cool? Kathy was right. Kathy...

"And you're not going to believe what happened next..." Marissa cleared her throat and didn't continue until everyone's eyes were on her. "She stormed into the principal's office, and looked him straight in the eyes. And do you know what she said?"

Marissa paused for dramatic effect.

"She said, 'Hey fat man, I'm not going to class.' The principal got super mad. He said, 'I should expel you, but being this is your first offense, I am letting you off with detention.' Ryan just smiled and slammed the door on the way out. And that is exactly how our friend, Ryan, got detention."

Everyone at the table started to clap. A huge roar of shouts and cheers echoed. The Pops were high fiving me, patting me on the back, giving me a nudge of congrats. Zak smiled knowing the real truth of my detention. But I wasn't there. I didn't feel any of it. The only feeling I had were my insides crumbling, my stomach caving in, my face hot with traitor written all over in black Sharpie.

Kathy hadn't bother to even glance in my direction. Alex was still shunning me. My two friends, my two best friends, hated my guts, and I was supposed to feel proud of myself. Proud of what, losing the two people that meant the most to me?

Yeah, I was real proud at this point.

Chapter 17: The Special Guest

"The homework for tonight is to read chapter one in your books." Mrs. Riley's voice captured everyone's attention putting it in a dungeon, locking it in a dark jail cell never to be released again. This was insanity! How dare our reading teacher make us read for homework. What kind of cruel literate world did we live in?

I touched the surface of the book Mrs. Riley assigned to us. The cover was sticky as if someone spit out their gum on the bus as it suddenly stopped and flew out landing conveniently on the front cover. At least they were nice enough to scrap off the remains. Plus, I guess the minty smell was not that bad.

"Come on! This isn't fair Mrs. Riley!"

"My mom says that I can't read."

"I flushed the toilet yesterday and the book accidently fell in."

Complaints were shooting in the air like machine guns, and all of them were pointing directly at Mrs. Riley. It was like a red target appeared in the middle of Mrs. Riley's head, between her pencil shaped brows, and nobody was holding back. Hurry Mrs. Riley, duck under your desk before it's too late.

"Mrs. Riley," Marissa's voice whined in a high-pitched screech that made everyone shut their mouths, stop what they were doing, and cover their ears. I shuddered just from the pitch alone.

"Yes, Marissa." Mrs. Riley just smiled like always.

"I think it is unfair to make us read when we already know how to read." By now the room was dead silent except for Marissa who was standing up, determined to get out of this reading assignment which would really only take twenty minutes. Twenty minutes of turning pages, staring blankly at the centimeter type font, and wishing that you could just throw this book in the fire place and watch each page burn down to a pancake crisp. I hated to say this, but come on Marissa, get us out of this homework!

"Well..." Mrs. Riley started tapping her fingers, glazing at the digits on the clock, trying to decide what choice was the best. A simple question really, give the students boring homework that will make them want to hit themselves mindlessly with a hard cover book, or let the students have a homework free day, where they could carelessly frolic around, skipping in tall grass, singing to themselves in an opera voice. I vote for the second choice mainly for the fact that frolicking in the grass is one of my all time favorite pastimes. Just don't make me skip in a dress...

Beep.

Before Mrs. Riley could change her mind, the last bell of the day echoed throughout the room. Students forgot the homework situation like it never happened. It was as if a secret agent spy blasted the door open with their ray gun and cleared our memories of the last ten minutes because for some reason it contained classified government secrets that if released could have created a tidal wave to pound on New York and drown it to the bottom of the ocean. It's good thing we didn't remember though...or did we?

Students stuffed crumpled papers into their fraying folders. Pencils were being flung into pockets. Bags were whipped onto backs as if they were weightless. The school day was finally over and nobody wanted to stay any longer than they had to.

Lucky for me though I had to stay one extra hour. An extra hour of staring at a clock that seemed like it was made specifically for the minutes to tick slower. An extra hour spent with Daven in detention! Perfect! I always wanted to spend more time with a teacher who literally hated my guts and other organs. What should I wear for such a special occasion?

"Ryan."

I looked up from my desk and realized that, what did you know, the classroom was dead empty. Didn't anybody wait for me anymore? What if a bald man walked into the room and decided to eat my folders with my homework inside, threatened me with assorted fruits and vegetables to keep quiet. There would be nobody to save me, or to laugh about it later!

"Ryan."

What if I was suddenly sucked into a black hole of doom and forced to eat orange Jell-o that smelled funny and wiggled inside of me, turning me into a Jell-o zombie who forced other people to eat the contaminated Jell-o and create Jell-o minions who threw Jell-o at little pudding babies because there is a war between the Jell-o people and pudding people...

"RYAN!"

My thought bubble popped, breaking into tiny little air particles as I whip my head to the front where Mrs. Riley was calling my name for probably the last five minutes. Okay, what did I do this time? I swear I didn't do it. I didn't mean to misspell the author's name on our last reading test! It was an imposter I tell you!

"Ryan, I wanted to talk to you about your detention." Mrs. Riley got up from her wooden chipping-at-the-corners desk and carefully picked out a sticky gum-under-the-seat student desk next to me.

Mrs. Riley's mouth hardened at the edges, and her usual vibrant smile turned into a stern straight line. Her blue eyes switched to a see-through grey as if there was an on and off button that controlled her eye color. Mrs. Riley put her hands on her lap trying to figure out the best way to put what she had to say into words. Come on spit it out already, I have a very important appointment with Daven. Actually, take your time Mrs. Riley, we can keep Daven waiting!

"Ryan, there has been changes lately in your behavior that are really unlike you. I was very disappointed this morning when I received your detention slip. You are one of my students that I can count on to be a role model to other students. But lately your attitude has changed." Mrs. Riley was talking with no emotion in her voice. Like she was forcing herself to speak, as if the words were trapped in her throat and were trying to get out.

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"You know what I mean, Ryan."

Usually when somebody asked what do you mean, they really truly didn't know what in the world of tiny-ape-people you are talking about! What did I have to do, bang someone in the head with a pencil sharpener to get through the fact that I didn't know what the heck was going on!

"Ryan, you know what I mean." Mrs. Riley repeated pressing her lips together, smashing them so hard that white lines appeared. She paused for a second, staring off into space and then sighed. "Well you better get off to Mr. Daven."

And like a good solider I whipped my backpack off the grimy floor that looked as if the janitors didn't clean it in ages and started walking towards the door. Trying to process what Mrs. Riley had said.

"Ryan"

I flinched as my hand grasped the golden knob of the classroom door. This had better be good! Daven was going to chomp my head off and feed it to the class turtle if I didn't get to detention soon. And Sammy the turtle was no joke. Last kid who put their hand near the tank came out with five nails, filed, and painted with a French Tip.

"Yeah." I didn't turn from facing the door.

"Just know, I'm always here if you want to talk."

What did she mean if I want to talk? Why would I want to talk to Mrs. Riley outside of school? It was scary enough when you saw a teacher at the mall or at a restaurant and you pretended not to be there by hiding behind a manikin or stuffing your face into a plate of spaghetti but to have a planned meeting outside of school was just plain crazy.

Without even giving an answer I pushed open the class door, and slipped out before Mrs. Riley's words could suck me in any longer. The door slammed echoing in the empty hallway sounding like a firework that exploded. No living life form was to be found, not even the alien that I swear lived in locker 321 was present. Gerald was his name. Gerald the Alien.

"Why is Mrs. Riley being such a loser today?"

A voice shot into the hallway as if it came out of the vent or a locker and ran straight into my ear, vibrating my bones. Either I was losing my mind, which could be very much true, or someone was stalking me...again! I really hoped I was going insane and didn't have another stalker because to tell you the truth the next person who stalks me without getting permission beforehand was going to find my fist inside their large mouth.

"Hello, I'm talking to you bird brain!" Marissa shouted from a few feet behind me. You know I might be hard of hearing, I might not answer the first time, and I might not answer you at all, but that didn't mean you had to yell straight into my ear creating a huge earthquake in my brain! When I want my brain to have a natural disaster inside I will let you know.

"Yes, Marissa" I echoed back equally as loud, my fake smile plastered on.

"Mrs. Riley is being such a loser, right?" Marissa whined as I started to walk away to my locker down the hall. Daven wasn't going to be wearing a smiley face today when he saw me walking in late to detention. Maybe I will get him a smile for the holidays. To Daven, from Ryan, hope your holidays are as cherry as your present. P.S. please wear it to school tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that...

"Yeah, loser, right." I mindlessly agreed with Marissa as I reached my locker and threw my bag to the ground disturbing the silence that coated the air like sprinkles on the cupcake I saw a girl eating in the hallway after lunch. I tried to use my mind control on her to make her give it to me, but she refused.

"Are you even listening to me while I complain? This is very important..." Marissa stopped in mid-sentence twisting her head sideways to end of the hallway. She stopped all movement of her body. Her breathing got steadier, listening to a noise that apparently was coming from that direction.

"What are you doing...?" I started to say getting annoyed that I wasn't in on what was going on. But then again it was always like that. I was always the last one on the last-to-know list. I was not even on the list! I was on the list about the list of last-to-knows. I got to get better connections.

Suddenly the noise Marissa was concentrating on got louder and louder so even with my lack of reception in my ears, I could hear the noise. It was shouting or an argument of some kind. High pitched screams and vibrating grunts followed by stomping that was sweeping the grimy floor, crunching lost crackers, and stepping closer down the hallway towards my locker where Marissa and I were the not-so-innocent bystanders.

I stuffed my books into my locker filling it like a cheesy pizza as Kathy's burnt face appeared turning the corner followed by Alex's puffed out face. Marissa quickly closed my locker that was silent compared to the screaming match of my former friends, Kathy and Alex. Marissa snatched my wrist and flung me under an open space between the water fountain and the floor that perfectly was made for two people and a backpack to hide in when they were trying to spy on ex-best friends who were participating in the ultimate verbal fighting match.

"Look what you did to her! You messed her up, you messed everything up! You're the Queen of mess-ups! Both of you should team up and be one big...MESS!" Alex spat at Kathy, who stopped in the middle of the hallway. Alex's arms were waving like hammers, and his hands were balled into bulky fist.

"I made her better! I did this for her!" Kathy's face was now redder than a fat man trying to lift two times his body weight in a championship bodybuilding contest. Her eyebrows were so high above her head that if they went any higher they would fall off, floating to the floor, landing on strategically placed gum where it would be stuck forever.

"You did this for her? Then why is she not here? Why is she not with you? Where is she now? You don't know, do you! You don't know!" Alex sneered as Kathy's face went completely distorted. Her eyes were on the verge of water works, and her bottom lip kept trembling

I gripped my backpack closer to my skin like a pillow, cramming in deeper under the water fountain next to Marissa, realizing the she that they were talking about, was me. I did this. I put Kathy in this position. I left her on the sideline, while I met every whim of Marissa and the Pops. But that was what I had to do. That was what I needed to do to be popular! Stick with the group, with the clan. Stick with it. And don't look at what you left behind. I needed to do it and I thought Kathy knew that...

"At least, when she had a problem she came to me. Not you, Alex. Not her best friend. She couldn't trust you! She didn't want to talk to you, she wanted me!" Kathy stabbed Alex with his own words right in the gut. A stab wound that wasn't going to heal anytime soon.

A pause of silence caked between Alex and Kathy, reaching to the air around me. Tension screamed wildly, loose in all directions. The pain that Alex and Kathy were feeling, streamed into my veins and heart. My hands shook, waiting for this to be over.

"I didn't create a monster, you did Kathy. Did you see how she treated you all day? You said she was your friend. Friends don't treat other friends like a piece of meat that they only take out when they're hungry. They don't pass them by when something better comes along. She's a monster, and you know it. You know it!"

Marissa's breath was choppy as she leaned against me. Gasping for air. She was laughing. Marissa was laughing at what was going on. All this was entertainment for her, a soap opera! She muffled her gasps under her coat, her eyes tearing from the spectacle.

"What do you know anyway?" Kathy screamed bloody murder.

"More than you!" Alex answered with more intensity.

"Yeah!"

"YEAH!"

"Enough! Enough!" The door to one of the classrooms swung open. Kathy and Alex shut their mouths trying to act innocent, which they clearly were not. One of the secretaries burst down the hallway, clicking her high heels to a beat of anger. Her grey hair buried her face, with lips pressed together and long nails that could cut fresh vegetables in an instant.

"I could hear you kids shouting from all the way down the hall! This is unacceptable behavior! This is not the playground!" The secretary's voice creaked like an old door in a haunted mansion. Wheezing and gasping in short angry breathes. Marissa scooted farther back under our hiding place, pulling me to do the same.

"We didn't do anything." Alex snapped still filled in a pool of rage.

"Nothing you say? Well if nothing is one of your hobbies, you can do nothing in room 202 with Mr. Daven." The secretary's mouth widened into a smirk under her silver hair.

"But that's the detention room!" Kathy whined, eyes wide.

"Yes, and these are detention slips to go with it," the secretary handed both of my two ex-friends shiny pink slips that had DETENTION written in big letters at the top. "Now, both of you report to Mr. Daven this instant."

The secretary clicked her way back down the hall, her shoes snapping, exploding with each step. Alex and Kathy stared at their pink slips, trying to figure out if what just happened was real. If they really just got detention. They walked towards room 202 without another word.

"That was hilarious! Did you see those dweebs' faces yelling at each other? What a joke!" Marissa popped out from under the water fountain as soon as the hallway was all clear again. She took out a mini mirror and started to fix her hair.

"Yeah, funny." I gulped down a laugh with my knees still pushed up to my stomach, stiff and cold. My arms had sweat caked on them, making them stick to my stiff knees, my eyes were bugged out and my hair stuck to the tiled wall I was leaning on.

"You'll have your own entertainment in detention." Marissa spoke as she smacked her lips together adding some gloss to them. "Just don't get any ideas, about playing nice with dumb and dumber. Remember you are under my rules and the popular code."

Just what I needed, detention with the two people who hated my guts and a teacher who hated my guts even more. Great! This was fantastic. A room full of people who would celebrate if I got sucked into a black hole and never returned.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Marissa added as I slumped over myself trying to find the right muscles to move out from under the grimy water fountain. "There's someone special waiting for you in detention."

It had better be Ryan Gosling or my definition of someone special was way off.

Chapter 18: The Unread Note

I hugged onto the loop hole of my jeans bending my shoulder over in a crunched position and winced my eyes tight as I walked up to my least favorite place to be in the school, room 202. Someone would have to tie my legs up with cattle rope, put a blind fold over my eyes, and handcuff me to a flag pole threatening me to eat banana peels, before I would ever walk into room 202 on my own will. Please someone, alert the police, call 911, notify your regional district attorney, do something so I don't have to go in there!

I twisted the golden knob, knowing that if I didn't go inside soon Daven would sentence me to a lifetime of detention with him. And nobody wanted that, including Daven. I had to go inside. I had get this detention over with even if my ex-friends will be glaring at me the whole time, and Daven will be smirking his little evil little smirk causing me to go temporary insane. Marissa, your surprise guest you promised better be worth it!

"Ryan, so nice of you to join us this wonderful afternoon." Daven greeted me with his deep voice as I slip through the door. "Please, please, take a seat."

Daven was sitting at a chipped wooden desk, with his legs crossed on top of another, twisted like one of those baked pretzels that you can get at carnivals, with the mass production of salt covering it like a sea of little ants. Daven's eyes were not even focused on me, as I walked in. He was too busy grading papers to pay attention. Did he now identify people by scent I thought as I had the urge to smell my armpits.

I scanned the room for a seat that wasn't by Mr. I-am-still-not-talking-to-you-Alex or Ms. I-was-talking-to-you-before-but-now-I'm-not- Kathy, when my eyes dropped out of their sockets straight to the floor gasping at what they saw. In the very last row, his blue eyes staring back at mine. His hand waved at me in an awkward way that made my heart start to pound inside of me, creating a constant beat that vibrated into my chest. I couldn't believe this! Zak had detention with...me! Wow! I did not think those words would give me such happiness!

"Ryan, take a seat now, or do we have to reschedule this detention during lunch tomorrow." Daven gritted his teeth sitting at his desk with a red pen dangled loosely in over paper that had a lot of markings on it. Daven was just probably mad because he was grading my math test from last week. The question asked what is "x" and I correctly stated that it is the 24th letter of the alphabet. Can't get any clearer than that. "Ryan, now."

"Yes, sir" I answered to Mr. Daven staring at his big crooked nose. Whoever punched him in the face to give him that crooked nose needed to be sent a fruit basket.

I filed through rows of desks trying to avoid any human contact with Alex or Kathy. My neck starting to stiffen from staring at the ground, trying to find a place to sit.

I glanced up from the floor back to the desks and caught a glimpse of Alex and Kathy's faces. Alex's eyes were like silver daggers trying to aim at a bulls-eye. His face was coated with deep wrinkles that made his face look pudgy. Kathy looked the same way as Alex but instead of a wrinkly face, hers was red hot like burning lipstick. This was going to be fun...

I found a seat in the back row, two seats away from Zak. I didn't want to sit any closer to him, it could potentially be a hazard for the people in the class including me. Who knew what my big fat mouth might say if I sat next to him. It was like a gift from your Grandma, you didn't know what it might be, but you knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't be what you wanted.

"Okay, now that everyone is situated, we'll start this lovely session of detention. There is only one rule in the classroom, no talking until the second the clock ticks 4:45pm. I expect this won't be an issue for most of you, so keep quiet, and we won't have any problems." Daven spoke not moving his head from the papers he was grading. My math test must have been worse than I thought.

I put my head down on my desk, trying to think of anything that would pass the time. Unicorns dancing disco in a volcano. A voodoo doll of Daven that accidentally got misplaced under a speeding train. My mind even wandered so far to thinking about gummy bears taking over the world at any moment, and shipping all the humans into space where we would float until an ice cream ship would save us and we fly back to Earth to take it back by fighting the leader of the gummies in the gummy war.

But as I was thinking of what weapons to use on gummy bears, something flew onto my head, and got tangled in my hair. Attack! Attack of the gummies! Run, run, for your lives. Save the gummy children! The war has begun!

I picked my head off the desk and fumbled through my hair to find a piece of paper stuck in it. Okay whoever threw this was going to find themselves on the floor whimpering after detention. It was probably Alex, and his stupid fat hands, and his I-know-everything-about-nothing brain. But when I looked over at Alex, he wasn't even facing me, his eyes were shut and his head was flat on his desk like a pancake. He wasn't even trying to hide a grin like he usually did when he was trying to get away with something.

"Psssst..."

I snapped in the opposite direction and saw Zak whispering and pointing at the piece of paper that I angrily flicked to the ground. He motion to the piece of paper again and smiled at me making my heart sigh and do a triple flip. Yeah, my heart took gymnastics for ten years. My heart even won a gold medal in the red-things-that-pump-blood Olympics. What can I say, my heart dominates.

I purposely dropped my pencil and picked up the piece of paper at the same time. I wasn't going to let Daven catch me doing anything that according to him was illegal to do in detention (which was pretty much everything except breathing). I already had enough problems to fill a feel-sorry-for-me cake, and I didn't need Daven anywhere near it.

The piece of paper was crumpled up into a small crunchy ball. I flattened it onto my lap and turned to Zak who mouthed read it. Even when he was not talking, his voice sounded smoother than whipped cream in hot chocolate. My eyes start to water from not remembering to blink as I stared at Zak who repeated his silent phrase.

Like a solider taking a command, I open up the paper that felt like a feather in my shaking hands, and read it softly to myself trying to act as normal as possible for Zak, Daven, and my sake.

Ryan

Surprised to see me?

Okay, I know what you were thinking...actually I don't, but it had to be something close like, five words, I was expecting like a least a few lines! Was I right? But seriously FIVE words? That was more words I wrote in my last essay, and all I turned in was a piece of paper with my name, date, and teacher's name on it. Come on man!

My face must have look puzzled, or somewhat spaced out in gummy bear land, because Zak mouthed, write back.

Duh! Yes that is what a normal person is supposed to do in this situation! I can do this! I slipped my hand my backpack carefully removing a pen as if I was a spy trying prevent a bomb from being triggered. One false move and Daven could explode.

I started to write:

Zak

His name looked just as cute in writing. Maybe I should star it, or put a heart or...

I didn't know you were going to be here!

Cool! Sup! Yeah!

Without reading what I wrote, I crumpled up the same piece of paper and dropped it on the ground, kicking it two seats over to Zak. Oh my cheese balls, what did I just write! Zak was going to think I was a huge dufus that shouldn't be allowed to speak English let alone write it!

Zak stepped on my note and dragged it closer to him, marking up the paper with his sneakers like a dirt stencil. He snuck his hand down to the paper ball and flattened it on his lap like I did. I couldn't believe Zak touched the same paper I touched!

He read the message cracking a smile at the last couple words! Okay that was a plus, he didn't totally think I was a crazy nut job like most people did.

The note was suddenly passed back. I used the same strategy as before practically ripping open the note to read it faster.

Ryan...

You are so funny, you crack me up.

The note went back and forth between Zak and I like we were playing catch with a baseball. By the time I got the note for exactly the 10th time (I was counting), we filled up the whole front side of the paper. Daven, unaware of our little secret note passing, was still working on grading. I picked up the piece of paper acting like it was the normal thing to do in detention, and opened it on my lap.

Ryan

You know how at lunch I wanted

to ask you something but Marissa interrupted?

I hovered my pen over the piece of paper that had virtually no space left, and was about to write in a small corner, when Zak cleared his throat making me almost jump right out of my seat and onto the floor. I glanced over at Daven to see if he noticed, but his red pen kept swirling around making numerous markings. I turned my head to Zak, to see what he wanted.

His mouth formed the words turn over as he made the motion of flipping. I repeated his motion but before I could even get a glimpse of what was on the piece of paper, a hand snatched it right out of my fingers and crumpled it back into its comfortable little ball. I was about to scream out some not so nice words before I realized whose crooked nose was poking down at me. My thoughts instantly pooped and died.

"No notes in detention, Ryan." Daven spat on my desk stomping his feet against the tiled floor, creating a steady beat that click with the rhythm of my ticking heart. This couldn't be happening! What if he decided to read the note? What if he decided to read the note...out loud, to the whole classroom? Ugh, why me, Daven? Couldn't you picked on the boy who smells of stale B.O. or the kid who constantly has pizza stains all over his homework! Change your target for once!

Daven returned to his desk and flattened the crumbled paper like Zak and I did before on the safety of our laps. Daven don't do it! Don't read it! The message contains vital information that could change my life! Zak what were you going to tell me! This wasn't fair!

I turned over to Zak, who looked slightly worried, but his composure quickly changed to calm, and controlled as a knock on the door startled everyone, even Daven.

"Stay in your seats." Daven announced wiping beads of sweat off his face. One word of advice Daven, moist towel. Man, do something quick with your sweat problem or a river might start to sprout out of pores.

Daven grabbed the golden knob revealing our dear principal of the school. The principal had short stubby hair follicles sprouting out of his head like a porcupine. His glasses were like the ones John Lennon wore, small and circular. Let's just say, they looked better on the face of Lennon then Mr. Principal over here.

"Hugh, Can I talk to you..." The principal mumbled his porcupine hair sticking up even more.

Hugh? Hah! What an embarrassing name! That was what people said when they got hit in the gut by a dodge ball. Huh-ue! Daven should really look into changing his name to a more appropriate one like...Darth Vader. I think that summed up his evilness just right.

"...in my office, please." The principal motioned out the door. Daven was in trouble! Dreams really do come true!

"Don't move, don't talk, don't blink! Don't do anything until I get back into this room." Daven's voice escaped through gritted teeth. Yeah, right! What Daven didn't know, won't hurt me one bit!

The door slammed shut clicking to a lock as I jumped out of my seat and ran like a person would whose butt was on fire from explosive farting disease. But when I looked over my shoulder I saw Alex running to the same spot I was headed. Hey, ever hear of being a leader not a follower. Find a different destination spot!

"Grab it Ryan!" Zak shouted out of his seat as Kathy jumped out of hers too.

"No, Alex get it!" Kathy yelled leaning a knee on her seat.

It was a race between Alex and I. One on one. I couldn't let Alex read what was on that note. That would be even worse then Daven reading it out loud to the whole school and faculty. Even worse than reading it to the whole baseball team. If Alex got this note before I did, I swear I will use my one session of basic karate skills on him, and force it out of his hands.

Alex and I both were so focused on each other and not where we were going that before we could stop it, we both collided into Daven's waste basket that had a bunch of similar looking pieces of crumpled paper like the one Zak and I were writing our messages on.

The waste basket flipped over and landed on its side, spilling the contents all over as if it was throwing up paper balls on the floor. Alex and I both got knocked down on our backs from the full on force of bashing into solid metal. But determined not to let anyone touch Zak's note, I bounced back up and crumpled up the note once again, pushing it over the ledge to a river of crumpled papers from the waste basket.

"Hah! Try to find it now!" I laughed as I mixed all the papers together so that each one looked exactly the same as the others. Some might call it genius, some might call it verge of insanity...

"I think I will," Alex spoke the first words to me since that day at the baseball field. But before I could take in the words of Alex's voice, Kathy and Zak sprinted to the massive pile of papers and started to search.

"Fine if that's how you want to play, game on!" I snapped as papers started to fly through the air and all of us frantically picked up handfuls of papers and uncrumbled them.

"...thanks for taking me to your office in the middle of my detention duty to help you decide what color you should paint your walls. It really was not a problem. No problem at all..." Daven's voice filled the whole room like a leaking pipe, spreading deadly gas.

All four of us dropped the paper that was in our hands and froze in our kneeled positions on the floor. The room was a mess. Papers were scattered all over the floor, under chairs, on tables. If Daven walked in right now, all four of us would be seeing each other more often than usual, and not willingly for that matter.

"Quick pick up the papers" My voice strained as I grabbed a whole bunch of paper around me and shoved it into the basket. "Now!"

"Why should I listen to you?" Alex snapped.

"Because Daven is right outside this door and if you don't listen to Ryan he'll have all our butts in these seats everyday for the next month! So start cleaning!" Zak violently whispered flinging a balled up paper at Alex who instinctively caught it and grumbled, straightening the waste basket, and dropping the paper inside.

Chapter 19: Detention Does Not Suck For Everybody

Daven's fingers fumbled with his keys. The metal clinging together.

Everyone's hands started to collect paper into piles. Sliding their fingers frantically grabbing as much as their hands could hold, and shooting them back into the garbage. Flying papers into the basket, hoping every shot was going to score as if our lives depended on it.

My fingers were following across the dusted floor scavenging for some scraps and accidently swept against a hand next to me. I was about to make a rude remark before I even looked over to see the hand belonged to Zak, and I just froze my body, not knowing what to say.

"It's fine." Zak smiled accepting the apology that didn't make it out of my mouth, and went back to searching for loose papers.

"Come on!" My face whipped to the classroom door as the others followed my action. A pair of golden jagged keys blocked the light on the bottom of the door. Now only if Daven could repeat dropping his keys over again a couple times, that would really be a lifesaver.

"Hurry, pick up the papers under the desk, and the ones next to the pencil sharpener. Quick we don't have much time!" My voice surprisingly took charge without my permission, pointing my finger at papers that seemed to multiply faster than my heart rate was speeding up.

Alex met my gaze, and sneered, whipping a paper at me.

"Sorry...I missed." His voice snapped as the paper ball clunked me in the head and fell carelessly to the floor.

"Oh, you're sorry are you? I'll give you something to be sorry about." I whipped back at him. My hand dropped paper that it was holding and smashed into a fist faster than the words made it out my mouth. First Alex, and his fat head decide not to say one to me and now he couldn't shut the words inside his mouth.

"How many key's are on this chain?" Daven's voice snapped through the wooden door as he fiddled with the metal creating a musical jingle.

"Cool it guys, there's only a few more pieces. Daven is right outside this door. The quicker we clean it up, the quicker we can go back to ignoring each other." Zak's whisper was almost silent but it filled the room, and Alex responded by nodding and jerking his head towards more paper. Kathy was under a desk, inching her fingers to a pink paper that looked like the detention slip the secretary sent her down here with. I looked at Zak and reasoned with myself. If fat head Alex could behave himself, I guess I could try too.

"Ah, this must be it." Daven's voice cracked again, sending a stream of fear into the room. There were still a few pieces of paper scattered around the classroom. This was a disaster. Daven was going to find us, see what we did, and kill us, then bring us back to life only so he could kill us again!

"Hurry back to the seats, I'll get the rest." Zak's voice was barely audible once again. Like trained dogs, Kathy, Alex, and I all ran back to the desks we were in before Daven left. I sprinted so fast that I thought the desk was going to fall over and spin into me.

Suddenly Daven whipped the door open, slamming it into the wall where we had been just moments before. Daven's face was all puffed out like he just ate peanut butter and realized a little too late that he was allergic.

All the papers were back in place but Zak was still not in his seat. He was behind Daven's desk knelt low under the space between the desk and floor squishing his blonde spiked hair flat on the dirt floor. Oh crap! There was no possible way that Zak was going to make it back to his seat before Daven noticed. Zak with his wide eyes and crushed hair mouthed two important words to me, and since I happened to be an expert lip reader and translator, I understood exactly what he wanted me to do.

Distract him, the plea came again. This was going to end painfully.

"Hey, Mr. Daven your shoe is untied." I cried as Daven bent down to look at his shoe more precisely, hopefully buying Zak enough time to run to his seat, but he just knelt. Instead of running to his seat, Zak took out a piece of crumbled paper and smoothed it out on his lap, slipping it on top of Daven's desk. That's right! Daven would have gotten suspicious if the note Zak and I were passing wasn't lying on his desk. Of course, Zak, go for the details, that will throw Daven off big time.

"My shoe is perfectly fine. Do not speak again, Ryan, this is your last warning." Daven announced bitterly as he turned to close the door just giving enough time for Zak to slip past and slide in his seat.

Daven snapped his head back so fast that I thought it might rip off if it wasn't for the fact that it was attached to his thick monstrous shoulders. "What was that?"

Daven don't you remember, we are not allowed to speak! What am I supposed to do, I'm just trying to be a perfectly well-behaved student, and listen to the rules.

Daven signed as he sat down back at his desk, not noticing any difference at all. His hands fetched the wrinkled paper that Zak randomly put on his desk moments before. For all I know it could be the parent letter that I threw in the trash earlier that day. All those crumbled papers looked the same.

"So, let's read this message out loud, shall we." Daven snickered rocking back and forth in his seat. Zak just blankly stared at his desk not paying attention at all, while Alex flicked his finger at the tip of his desk, and Kathy glared at the tiled ceiling boards. It seems to me that Daven was the only who was remotely excited about this note. How disappointing...for Daven.

"Dear parents we would like to inform you...What?" Daven nearly dropped the piece of paper in his hands. Hurry get the buckets, he's going to explode. "What happened to the note that was on this desk?"

"Nobody moved the note...Sir." Zak answered calmly. His eyes focused on Daven like he was having a staring contest. I put my money on Zak to win, his eyes can beat Daven's any day.

The red dotted numbers on the clock clicked to 4:45pm exactly. What perfect timing, and detention was just getting good. Daven watched as everyone's eyes gaze at the red dots. Okay, Daven we played your detention game, now let us go!

"Fine...the mystery will go unsolved for now. Detention is over." Daven spoke in a flat tone, his hands balled up into fists. Don't need to say any more, I would have been out of here this room the second I entered if I had the choice.

I lugged on my bag as Alex and Kathy whipped out before Daven even finished his last word. My head was heavy and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep.

"Here, let me help." A voice warmed the air while an arm flexed straining to pick up my backpack. Hey, I didn't ask you to pick that bag of rocks up, don't blame me if your arm suddenly decides to run off and never return. I will not be involved in that search party for your lost arm!

I glanced over at Zak with my backpack over his shoulders like a heroic statue plastered next to me. He smiled crookedly and nodded towards the door of the room. Daven just glared at us, waiting for the second we left. What are you going to Daven, have a dance party once we leave, and not invite me, your favorite student?

The door snapped behind Zak and I, almost catching my hair and pulling me back, but I didn't notice. All I noticed was that Zak was actually touching my backpack, and walking next to me, so close that I could probably breathe and he could try and play a guessing game of what I ate for lunch. Zak leaned against one of the lockers outside the detention room, one shoulder weighted down by my obese backpack...like I said I did warn you! The warning was in my head and I did not actually say it out loud but in a way...I still did warn you!

"Can I have my backpack please?" My voice squeaked in a high pitch that made me wince, while Zak just looked relaxed as ever. Ugh why am I so awkward...?

"Oh...sure." Zak slipped my bag down his shoulder and handed it to me. I grabbed it from his hand, trying to remind myself to breath and act like a semi-normal human being...even a quarter normal would work!

But when I went to take the backpack a piece of paper floated to the ground, and landed in between us. I bent down to pick it up for him, but realized that it was the same piece of paper that had all our messages scribbled on it. The bleeding of the blue marker that Zak used, and the black pen I used.

"How..." I started to speak straightening my body to face him. My eyes were bright, my face hot from blushing, knees shaking. What had Zak written before Daven took the note away? How did he find it in the massive paper-quake from before? Maybe I should just sprint away, and read it before he takes it back. Maybe I should pretend not to notice. Maybe...

"Go ahead, read it." Zak broke my internal monologue, his voice fluid and calm.

My hands vibrated shaking as my finger traced the spot where Zak's last message was written, and remembering his tip to flip the page over, I read the words quietly, letting them flow out of my mouth.

Ryan

You know how at lunch I wanted

to ask you something but Marissa interrupted?

I re-read the same sentence before Daven stole away all my happiness. I turned over the paper to where there was more...

I wanted to know if you wanted to be my girlfriend?

My mouth dropped to the floor and started to collect saliva and dust. My fingers went stiff and numb and I had a sudden urge to scream a high pitch screech while dancing to music that wasn't playing! But instead of screaming and dancing my body was still except for my breathing. My eyes glued to the piece of paper, to Zak's lines and dots of blue marker. The way he dotted his i's, the way he wrote the word girlfriend, even the smell that radiated off the page, the scent of Zak.

I couldn't believe this! This was happening to...me!

The coolest guy that I have ever known, the cutest guy I have ever known just asked me to be his...girlfriend. If the school wasn't barricaded by the ceiling, I'd be floating away with a smile big enough to stretch my skin.

"Well?" Zak raised his eyebrows that curved gently on his face.

"Yes," I spoke softly as my legs felt like that would collapse under my weight, and melt into a puddle of Ryan that I would probably end up slipping on. "Yes, I will be your girlfriend."

Zak's smile was once again a crooked sliver, as he pushed his back off the lockers and looked into my wide eyes. His hand brushed against my shoulder, hovering for a couple seconds until his arms went around me in an embrace. "Nice, well I got to go but I'll see you tomorrow."

All I could manage was a quick nod, and a smile. Now my big mouth decided to keep shut. There should be a manual on how to tame your mouth. Next time my mouth didn't follow orders it was going straight to obedience school. That will teach it to act out next time.

My feet were glued to the floor. I didn't want to move from this spot, I didn't want to leave the smell of warm fragrance that swept around in circles, orbiting me like a bright yellow sun. If I could I would cut out the very title that Zak had just asked me to be his girlfriend, and plaster it up on my wall, saving it for my grandkids to look at. See Kathy and Alex, I don't need you, and your lack of friendship. I have Zak, and the popular kids, I have all the power and everything that I need. I had it all!

"Pssst..." A voice rang inside my ears. Why was I the only one who heard voices all the time? Couldn't you voices ever haunt someone else for once?

I unglued my feet from the green title that I just named after my new relationship with Zak, I'm calling it Bertha (don't ask why). I snapped my head in all directions, to see if I truly was hearing crazy voices inside my head, or someone in this school was actually trying to get my attention. Sorry, but for my attention you have to make reservations, and it gets booked really easily.

"Hey, cream puff, did you miss me?" The voice called out again.

You have got to be kidding me. Seriously, where were the cameras? This was not real! Someone slap me in the face! DO SOMETHING! Wake me up from this horrible nightmare! Wake me up so I don't have to hear one more word of big head, dumbo faced...

"Pete," I coughed in a drained tone. Didn't this kid have anyone else to annoy on a daily basis? Nope just me...great!

"Hey sweets, how are you doing?" Pete stepped out from behind the shadow of a trash can, his eyes gleaming under glasses that managed to cover 99.99% of his face. Hey, not every thing can be one hundred percent perfect.

"What are you doing Pete?" My voice snapped. If it wasn't for the fact that Zak just asked me out, and all the loopy gush emotion was still following in my blood, I would be forced to personally grab Pete but his button collar and escort him from the premises (namely anywhere not near me).

"I am admiring you, silly." The color of Pete's cheeks heated to a light pink as if he said something that would be embarrassing for him. He was embarrassed! What about me? Didn't I count anymore?

My backpack was now weighing my shoulder down, making me lean to one side like a hunchback. The doors to the school were just down the hall. They were just barely in sight. Maybe if I shout that Godzilla was behind Pete, he would scream accidentally running into a locker, knocking his coke bottle glasses off his face, giving me enough time for my glorious escape.

Trying to ignore the whole situation including Pete, I started walking backwards towards the main entrance hoping my memory of the school was better than my memory of what I had for breakfast, so I wouldn't collide with, you know, the empty desk that could be randomly sitting in the middle of the hallway waiting for me to trip over it head first. This wouldn't be the first time desks have organized plans around my downfall!

"And also I was waiting for you to get out of detention," Pete curled his eyelashes (if that was even possible), and smiled showing all his teeth.

"How did you know I was in detention...?" Did everyone know my life story! What does it take to keep something a secret anymore?

"Everyone knows that," Pete said waving his hand out in the air as if he was swatting an invisible fly that wouldn't go away. Okay, I guess that answers my question, everyone did know my life story!

I had inched my way closer and closer to the exit as Pete talked and I pretended to listen. By now the door was in site, I could even feel the wind blowing from the cracks in the doors. Just a bit closer and Godzilla would be the last words I would have to say.

"Actually, I was waiting for you to tell you something..." Pete sighed gulping saliva down his chunky throat.

"Uh huh..." I spoke paying more attention to my escape route than to the actual conversation. Almost there...

"I just wanted to know if... you know...you wanted to go out with me?"

"Yeah...whatever," I mumbled searching for the best door to dash out of when suddenly the words Pete spoke made it to my brain, and clicked inside my head, sending warnings to my limbs. My mouth apparently was the last to know like always. Was it possible to have a loose connection from my brain to my vocal chords?

"Wait...what?" I spoke, spit shooting out of my mouth as my body went stiff.

"Do you want to go...out?" Pete repeated fixing the tip of his taped glasses.

What was he talking about? Why would I want to go out with him? Did Pete not notice that every time he was in my presence my annoyance level jumped so high it could hit airplanes? And before I could even think, my mouth exploded with words jumbling out almost too fast to understand.

"Why would I go out with you? Why would I want to? I am already Zak's girlfriend! Zak, you know, the popular kid, who is cooler than you'll ever imagine! Stop following me! Don't even go near me anymore. I don't ever want to see you again" I stopped to breath and realized that Pete's usual humorous face with a huge smile, was shattered as if it was glass that had a bouncy ball slammed against it. Maybe, what I said was a little mean! NO! I had to get him off my back once and for all! I had to get rid of him, he was ruining my life, and reputation...

"I never liked you Pete, and I never will." I breathed shoving the doors to the school, not even glancing over my shoulder as the door slammed shut in Pete's face.

Chapter 20: When You're Right, You're Wrong

I stood at the bottom of my driveway, the incline looking more like a steep mountain with cliffs and avalanches than pavement. The wind blew through my hair, whipping it into my face, covering my eyes like a knight's armored shield before battle. My arms fell to my sides gripping tight to the ends of my T-shirt that were ruffling up, as my eyes glared at the patterned black door of my house.

Why did I scream at Pete like that?

I have never yelled so loud and meant it before in my entire life, not even when my mom forgot to feed Skippy my goldfish and he died the next day. My mouth had a mind of its own, it just kept spitting out words and before I could stop the continuous word barf, it was too late...But I needed to let Pete know I really didn't want him bothering me like a pesky mosquito in the middle of summer that wouldn't die. I mean Marissa got upset when I spoke to Kathy, what would she think if I was seen talking to...Pete? What would the Pops think? What would anyone think?

I was not going to let Pete take up anymore of the limited space in my brain though. I barely had enough room up there anyway! But I couldn't worry about him anymore. I had bigger problems weighing down on me. Like, number one, how was I going to explain the transformation of my looks to my dad? How was I going to explain where I was all afternoon?

Also, practice for baseball was tonight! Should I go, or should I stay home? Will the guys on the team even let me join practice? Would I be shunned off the field? What was I supposed to do, go up to the chain linked fence and say, hey guys, I know that I look different, and have been acting different, and now am popular, but I can I still be on the team, right? They would either laugh at me until their bodies crumbled into the sand, or they would throw rocks at me until one eventually whipped through the metal chain fence, hitting me straight in the gut. Both choices seem painfully unpleasant.

And if the Pops found out of Pete and my potential baseball practice I would be kicked out of the group and be stripped of my popular power and pink bracelet that smelled kind of like cotton candy that had been in the sun too long.

And what about Zak! And Kathy, Alex, and my continuous list of people who wish I would fly off a cliff that seemed like it was gaining members every time I took a breathe. Yeah, I know, I had a club of people who hated me. I think that means I made it.

But I couldn't think about all that right now. I could barely think at all. I had to throw all my worries out the window and watch them splatter. I had to focus on the first step, how in the world of snowmen that talk, was I going to deal with my dad?

I skidded up the driveway, the scoffing of my shoes interrupting the silence that caked over the neighborhood. It was probably not possible or even the tiniest bit realistic that I would be able to sneak into the house, sprint up the stairs, and swing my door shut going undetected. Unless, of course, I inherit special spying powers in the next two seconds and become supernaturally quieter than the mute button on the TV. Silent girl here to the rescue! Silently saving the day as quietly as possible!

But before the tip of my nail could even click with the golden knob, the door swung open revealing my dad's crossed armed. His lips were pouted in a swelling watermelon shape and his feet (bare) were cringing, all the toes in different directions. It was never good news when your father's feet start to cringe. It was like the male form of putting your hands on your hips.

"Where were you...?" My dad snapped stopping mid-sentence as the light from the house glowed out the door as if spotlighting my body like I was the lead role in the spring musical.

"What?" I asked trying to act innocent when guilt was written all over my forehead, arms, and other body parts that I couldn't mention.

"You look...nice." My dad's angry tone fizzled into one that was unfamiliar to me. His arms quickly unfolded into loose rubbery limbs that bounced when he swayed from each foot like he was trying to show me his potty dance. Okay, Dad, now is not the time to be holding your urine in, and plus it is definitely not healthy for your bladder. Your just asking for diapers in your old age, and just to give you a head's up, there is no way, no how, I will ever go near those diapers. I have a strict no dirty diaper policy.

"Thanks?" I mumbled my shoulders shrinking in relief that my dad's anger fused out like a wet birthday candle that was trying to relight itself. Wow, who knew that Mr. I-get-angry-at-my-own-reflection Dad, would actually accept the change I made. Hmm, maybe I should take advantage of this unusual pleasantness. I think now would be a good time to tell him that I was the one who broke the window two years ago.

I stepped into the warmth of the house as the light grew brighter showing the details of my make over from my ex-best friend Kathy, and her cousin. Showing my flowing hair and my clothes that didn't have mud or dirt caked on them. The perfect shading of my face, lashes, and lips better than any Barbie Doll out there. I was new and improved.

"What happened? How..." My dad stuttered taking in my whole transformation under the chandelier in the main room. I kicked off my shoes that sparkled from every angle, and hugged my brick backpack closer to me hoping that my dad's good mood wasn't just a trick of the lights.

"I thought about what you said," I cleared my throat trying to find words from within my brain. There must be a deadly disease of word-itis going around, it stops the function that produces words in your brain, and when you try to speak, nothing comes out. Where was this disease before when I needed the words to be swallowed back down my throat never escaping to the outside world?

"And you're right..." Okay I know what you are thinking...Ryan, you actually think someone is right other than you! No! Are you kidding? I didn't really think that my dad was right. Okay, I never thought that my dad was right. But the only way I was going to get my dad to get off my back was to tell him what he wanted to hear. Special order for Dad, a plate of you are right platter with the side of you are the best and I am only sucking up just so I can buy enough time to sprint up the stairs into my room and lock the door sauce.

"Right about what?" The question came to me as a surprise. Wasn't my dad the one who couldn't stop criticizing me about changing my looks? He was doing this on purpose! Ohhh! He just wanted me to tell him exactly what he was right about, wasn't it enough just to say, hey Dad your right and I was wrong, let's go to Disney World to celebrate?

My hand steadied my weight on the banister, the TV blaring in the room next door from the remote control that my mother probably was lying on. Her snoring sounding like a steam powered train chugging its way down a rusted railroad. I emptied out all sound and looked into my dad's cooling eyes. I had to do this. I had to tell him what he wanted, or he would never let me move from this very spot until one of us croaked.

"You're right that I needed to change my looks, you're right that I needed to be more girly, that I needed to be more...normal. You are right, right, right!" My throat burned as my mother snorted in the other room and started the snoring train once again. All aboard the snore express!

"I am really proud of you Ryan." My dad cracked a smile as he said words that I have never heard in my life before. Not when I came home shouting that I won the baseball game for my team. Not when I won a contest on who could throw a baseball the farthest at my school, not even when I brought home a trophy bigger than my bloated head. This was the first time my dad was proud of...me. Maybe changing my looks was actually the very change I needed.

My eyes met my dad's as my lips curved into a smile. I didn't care if it took a whole transformation, basically changing my identity for my dad to be proud of me. I didn't care that this moment was made on broken friendships and being fake. This smile was true. One that only came once in a while one that you wish you could keep stored in the back of your brain with all your memories and only take it out on special occasions.

I slipped up the stairs after my dad was finished talking, my smile starting to become painful against my stretching skin. Like a lemon with sprinkled sugar that started off sweet and ended up turning sour.

I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't want to think.

My dad for once was proud of me. Words I thought I never would hear come out of his mouth! I finally had my dream of popularity with my dream boyfriend. Every girl in her right mind would wish for this life! But if I supposedly had everything why did I feel a pit at the bottom of my stomach that seemed to get deeper with each breath.

An emptiness that kept growing with each second...

Alex, and Kathy were still not talking to me. The baseball guys were probably going to be furious that I did not show up at practice. And then Pete! Oh Pete, his eyes wide dark holes, face hanging off a loose hinge because of what I did. Because of what I said that I couldn't take back.

No! I didn't need those guys.

What I needed was my dad to actually notice me, for the Pops to admire my ever move, for Zak to want to be near me and talk to me, for my popular power to stay strong. And if some people didn't agree, well, that was there problem. If people couldn't accept what I had become than those people could leave. I didn't need people bringing me down, hanging on me like a ship anchor, trying to drown me in the raging rapids.

I plopped on my bed landing on my Pocahontas pillow my mom got me for my birthday when I was five. Even though it had caked drool spread across the eyes, and even a slight rip that bled white stuffing, I still slept on in every night since that birthday. Even after nights of throw up and fevers, nights of staring at the ceiling waiting for morning. Through it all Pocahontas was still intact and beautiful. Never telling me to be something I wasn't or talking back to me. She just endured. After everything that has happened Pocahontas, weirdly enough, would be the only one who understood.

Chapter 21: Left Out in the Heat

"So yesterday Lara called me and asked what I was wearing tomorrow? Can you believe her? You could totally tell her mom still picks out her clothes for her? What a joke..." Marissa slapped her knee and laughed as the bus jumped into the air causing my head to bash against the window which wasn't an improvement from what I already felt. "Are you listening to me Ryan?" Marissa smacked her lips together. I could feel her glare even as my face was still attached to the window like a decoration.

To answer your question Marissa, no I am definitely not listening to you and your stinkin story about your problems that made no sense to any human being dead or alive. It was like speaking a different language. If you couldn't tell I could barely speak English let alone another language that apparently only Marissa herself could understand. If you would like to translate to something that didn't consist of screeching or OMGs then I will gladly follow along.

"Of course I am listening." I gritted my teeth to prevent my true rage from leaking out. I swear I needed a quick coarse in how to lie to someone you kind-of hate but need to impress. My lying skills were somewhat lacking.

I rub my shoulder against the cold metal of the bus. One of the shirts that Patrice got me was wrinkling into bunches, the collar squeezing against my skin like a boa constrictor. Oh it's fine, I just have a huge amphibian squeezing me like I was a poodle's chew toy. Please don't make any attempt to rescue poor Ryan! You will just get in the way.

It took one hour to get ready this morning. ONE HOUR! That was just one big waste of time I just threw out like trash in a garbage bag. But I had to make myself look like I did yesterday or else was going to look a bit suspicious if one day I looked like I came out of teen magazine and the next day I look like someone decided to throw up ugly on me. It was a lot of working being pretty!

"Well, as I was saying then..." Marissa started the story again that I had no intention of listening to. I actually had no intention of listening to Marissa at all. If I had to I would climb out this bus window, slip through the glass, dig my sparkly shoes into the yellow bus, inching to the top of the roof, and jump off onto the pavement just to avoid Marissa and her story.

I crossed my arms and leaned my head back against the window, the vibration of the bus banging it up and down like an automated head basher. My eyes focused on the two seats in front of us as I robotically nodded to Marissa. Alex had his legs tangled up and shoved his head into the seat cushion. His body was crumpled into to a fortune cookie formation, while his arms hung loosely as if they would fall off the next time the bus took a bad turn.

"...so I told her that I couldn't eat that cookie unless it had the rainbow sprinkles I asked for, and I shoved it in her face, and told her to eat it herself,'" Marissa snickered pushing my shoulder, shaking me like I was her own personal play doll. Okay, that was one time that I dressed up as a doll for Halloween! One time, and everyone thinks I'm a doll forever.

The bus finally screeched to a stop, flinging all human beings into the seats in front of them. Alex shot his body up, and cuddle his back pack, swinging it over his shoulders, as he pushed his way through a bunch of six graders who coward in fear, slipping to the sides to let big bad Alex through. He turned his head before exiting the bus and met my stare with narrowed eyes. A stare that shot like a lazar through the top of a six grader's puffy hair, and into my face. A stare that said more than any amount of words could ever explain.

"Hello, anybody home?" Marissa tugged on my arm launching me out of my seat.

"Hey easy! Want me to lose a limb?" I whined as Marissa yanked my arm once again and dragged me out of the bus.

"I have to go find Lara, her mom drove her today!" Marissa stomped away as a pile of smoke fogged up the air where the bus once was. If it was possible I think the sidewalk would have cracked in the footsteps Marissa was craving out. "I have to knock some sense in that girl"

I caked on a fake smile watching Marissa stalk off when something suddenly whacked the back of my head causing me to shift my body weight forward and almost trip onto the kid who sat behind me in social studies that had spiky porcupine hair which would be very unpleasant to fall onto. Could you image going to the hospital due to a spiky hair injury?

I rubbed the place where the object just slammed into my head. I already didn't have that many brain cells and I couldn't afford to lose anymore! They were so expensive these days! Couldn't anyone give me a break for once, what did I ever do? Okay maybe once I tripped a kid because he looked at me funny, and maybe once I threw a paper airplane at another kid who called me a certain name that I did not appreciate... Okay, maybe I did deserve that bash in the head.

"Hey, turn around Rye-bread-An" A voice shot through the air as I quickly recognized the self-centered voice. My lungs felt like they slowed down as if filling up with liquid. I couldn't believe this was happening! First Alex, then Kathy...now them!

I slowly turned my body, my eyes focusing on the ground not wanting to acknowledge what was happening. A cracked egg yolk seeped into the cracks of the sidewalk as I felt the remaining goop on my head just now realizing what had been flung at me. My hand reached to the to the back of my head and came back with a gooey sheet of egg yolk. Great, you know how long it took to get my hair to look this perfect! This was war!

My eyes reached the thrower of the egg and I quickly wished that I had never turned around, and just kept walking up the steps, running to my first period class so I didn't have to face them. So I didn't have to see the smug faces of all eight players on the baseball team, including Alex. This was my lucky day! I have been officially nominated for the most hated person of the day award! Thank you, thank you. I'll be here the rest of the year.

"Where were you yesterday!" Dan screeched harder than the bus loaded with kids did, another egg cradled in his hand ready to be thrown. No, please, not another egg! I'll talk, I promise, have some mercy man!

"Not at practice." Well, that was the truth. What did they want me to say? I was at the North Pole trying to plan a mission to dig to the other side of the world with a toy shovel!

"DUH! We know that!" Josh snapped as he held his arm close to his chest! What did he do this time? Fall on a pillow of feathers and came out crying his arm hurt!

"Shut it Josh," Dan growled as he faced Josh with the deadly egg! "We have a huge game tomorrow that could bring us to the championship on Saturday and you just decide to ditch practice! You're lucky that Coach didn't hunt you down and drag you all the way to the field!" Dan sneered as his face prickled into a red raspberry! His hands shook, making the egg crack in his palm the juice dripping down his sleeve like a busted water balloon. "You are a slime ball."

I looked at Alex, hoping deep down that he would have a change of heart and stand up for me. Even if he was still mad, even if he never wanted to speak to me again, there had to be a sliver of him that still cared. That wouldn't let Dan treat me like this. But Alex's face was blank, a clean sheet that had no emotions. His eyes seem to almost stare right through me as if I was no more than a stranger on the street.

"You are no longer are a Heater! Don't ever come near practice, near anyone on THIS team! Don't even touch a baseball ever again!" Dan snapped shoving past me, running his shoulder into my arm as all the other guys on the team repeated the same action as King Dan! All except the last person in line. Alex narrowed his eyes as he walked past and spat next to my shoe, letting the saliva swirl around in the dirt, caking into a mud smear that stained the white sidewalk.

Chapter 22: You Don't Always Get What You Want

I slammed the door of my locker so hard into the wall that I thought it would fall off its hinges and run down the hallway screaming for its life. The metal of my locker curled at the edges like it just got a perm, and grunted a hollow metal sound. Air filled up my nose like a thick fog as I wrapped my backpack around my shoulder. My legs were heavy as stone while my breathing choked out in spurts of coughs and wheezes. I clutched my gut afraid if I coughed any harder I might spit out my lungs, my liver and my breakfast all at once. I closed my eyes as I felt the egg yolk started to harden in my hair.

"What do you think you're doing?" A voice ran a chill down my spine making me spring open my eyes and almost head butt the locker.

Umm...what does it look like I am doing?

Do you think I'm painting a historical portrait on my locker that will eventually be cut out of the wall by special scissors so the painting could rest peacefully under the dimmed light of an art museum! I'm not that talented.

I swung my body around violently. My eyes went from the grime filled shoes to the face of this mystery person that had the nerve to bark at me with pointless questions that wouldn't make sense even if you had no senses to begin with.

My heart stopped, and I thought it went dead for a second as the face came into a familiar clarity. My arms started to shake while my tongue went numb and thick so that I didn't know if it was possible to talk or even spit for that matter.

What was he doing? Why would he bother to talk to me now or ever?

"What do you want Alex!" I spat through the air, some saliva shooting to the tips of the grime on his shoes. I thought Alex and I were on a strict no-talking-till-one-of-us-flies-of-the-face-of-this-Earth policy! Especially after what just happened like not even ten seconds ago.

"I want to know what do you think you're doing?" Alex clenched his teeth so hard I thought that they would pop out of his oversized mouth and try to eat me alive.

"I'm walking to my first period class..."

"Don't play games!" Alex's fingers were shaking next to his waist.

"What do you mean?" I nearly screamed.

I was just minding my own business at my locker, grabbing my books when Mr. I-just-spit-on-you-and-let-you-be-humiliated Alex starts screaming at me for no good reason! First Alex didn't want to even take one glance at me, and now he was shouting at me like I just murdered his favorite plastic power ranger that for some reason, he kept hidden in the top drawer of his dresser. Yeah, I know about the power rangers, what are you going to do about that?

"You know what I mean."

"No I apparently don't!"

I start to walk away, screeching my sparkle shoes against the floor that hadn't been cleaned for probably years. My heart was pounding so deep in my chest that it was likely it would smash out of my ribcage and splat straight to the ground, pumping lifelessly. But before I could get past the water fountain that was feet away, a cold hand grabbed my shoulder and yanked me backwards, making me stumble into the metal of my locker. Good job locker, you caused me pain once again!

Alex's hand was gripping my shoulder, pinning it down to the locker. His face was crinkled and smudged. Breath coming out uneven as his chest pumped up and down rapidly as if his lungs were being selfish and sucking in more air then they needed. He leaned his other hand against the locker, inches away from my face.

"I don't know who you are anymore! I don't know you anymore!" Alex cringed his face up even harder, his hand buckling down on my shoulder even more. "You go and turn yourself into little miss prom queen, hang out with the Pops, and then go ditch practice when we have the most important game of the season coming up!"

My lungs wheezed for air, as my arm became numb under the pressure of Alex's bulky hands. My eyes were wide, shooting into his, my knees locked up threatening to fall from underneath me.

"Whoever you are, whatever you are...you're not Ryan." Alex snapped his grip from my shoulder, turning his back, leaving me glued against the lockers. I tried to rub the pain off, to rub the redness that replaced Alex's fingers, rub off the fear...

"FORGET YOU!" I yelled but Alex kept his back straight and stiff, striking down the hallway. If he heard me, he didn't give any sign.

What did he mean, I'm not Ryan!

I was in the same body, I had the same heart, internal organs, the same shoe size. I knew who I was, and I didn't need anybody else to tell me otherwise! He didn't know what he was talking about! How dare he scream at me for doing what I wanted. It wasn't his life, not his problem, it wasn't his fault!

This was all on me.

I peeled myself off the metal stickiness of my locker, and scuff down the hallway that was now empty except for thick annoying air that seemed to get caught in the middle of my throat. The lockers shuddered as I passed, sinking within themselves so they looked like crushed metal from a junkyard waiting to be pressed.

"Hey." A voice shouted.

"What?" I half scream due to fear and annoyance thinking Alex had come back to yell at me again. Sorry, but one time is more than enough! I wasn't a piece of gum that could be chewed over and over again.

"Whoa, wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Relax it's me." Zak's voice soothed the inside of my ears as I slowed down my pace and let him catch up to me.

"Sorry, I just..." I squeaked out, quickly forgetting Alex and his armor grip.

"Don't worry about it. I actually wanted to know if you wanted to walk to class? You know since, we are officially going out." Zak smiled his signature crooked smile that melted me into an ice cream cone mixture, as his hand reached for the same limb that Alex had a death grip on seconds before.

"Of course." I locked my hand into his, and we walked to Mrs. Riley's class. The fear and anger sliding off me like rain falling off an umbrella.

After all the hallways started to look the same, and the smell of stale cucumber that seem to coat the walls started to become thick, Zak and I finally reached room 102. The door seemed normal enough, with the familiar wooden piece sticking out and the shiny golden knob that reflected your image like a mirror if you stood close enough.

I knew everything would be different once Zak opened the door. Nobody had known about Zak and I yet. Once we opened the door Marissa would see, Kathy would see, even Mrs. Riley would see that Zak was my boyfriend. I liked that Zak was my boyfriend, I mean who wouldn't, but for everyone to find out all at once like this...I didn't know if I was ready.

"Well, I guess this is where I leave." Zak whispered even though nobody was around, and we weren't in a library.

"Thanks." I spoke as sweat droplets started to become apparent under the row of my brow from thinking of what lied behind room 102. "This was nice."

"I know." Zak said as his fingers unlocked with mine, and reached for the golden knob that reflected my worried face.

The door creaked open enough so only I could see a sliver. Students were in desks tapping their pencils, drawing cartoons in their notebooks, even sneaking a half bitten Pop-Tarts into their mouths watching the crumbs fall to the ground.

Mrs. Riley was at her desk with arms folded across her lap, eyes glaring at the clock, waiting for the bell to ring to start class. Her hair was bouncy and waved around in tiny twirls that would jump on her shoulder ever time she twitched her muscle. Her fingers tapped a slow beat on her pant leg as she pressed her lips together as if she was trying to find the perfect way to fit them properly into place.

Zak pulled on the golden knob a little more so that now the whole class could see.

Me and Zak. Zak and me. Both of us, next to each other...together.

The door cracked open even more and the first face I saw transformed into an evil grin that would make the joker look like a pile of stuffed teddy bears tied up in a big red bow, was Marissa.

Zak's hand pushed gently on my back and made me stumble straight into the shooting range of lazar eye glances as he shut the door and slumped away to his class. All faces were all glued onto me. All sound stopped in the air and floated back into the mouths of their owners. Clicking pencils became soundless, while the Pop-Tart chewers had their lips shut tight trying to hold in the urge to swallow the golden brown pastry. I lugged my backpack tighter on my aching shoulder as the glaring started to burn through my clothes and skin. Even Mrs. Riley nodded her head in my direction, talking her eyes off the clock to watch the action that was going on.

I shuffled to my normal seat next to Marissa with my head down as if I was searching for money that would magically appear right in front of my feet. The classroom was overflowing with silence, like a bathtub that had water spilling over the rim because nobody bothered to turn off the water.

The bell rang as I sat down my seat that was missing the back leg and every time you tried to lean forward, you would be flung backwards, bashing into the kid sitting behind you. Sorry, kid who sits behind me every day and gets whacked in the faces multiple times, but if you haven't noticed my chair is out of my control and for your protection and mine, I wouldn't ever go near this three legged wilder beast ever again.

"Oh my gosh, no way!" Marissa whispered as the school announcements blurred in the background and the silence broke. The Principal's voice droned in an effective robot imitation. Maybe in the future Mr. Principal here would be useful as the commander of an army of robots, all he needs is a buzz cut and official army robot boots.

"What?" I mumbled under my breath, with my head down into my arms.

"You and Zak." Marissa sang as my head stretch up only to see her trace an invisible heart with her fingers.

Marissa's face was pulled out like a cartoon. Her smile looked like you had stepped into an alternate universe where evil clowns walked the planet, smiling their big juicy smiles that would scare the poop out of you. But it was one of those things that you couldn't help but stare into their smiley crooked teeth. Resist it Ryan, don't give in.

"Yeah, about Zak and I..."

"Shhh!" Marissa snapped violently as the classroom went back to its normal loud self. "Quiet everyone!"

"What's going on...?" I started to speak but was interrupted by a mouthful of shut up's. Hey, I know that I might not "catch on" right away...okay I might not catch on at all, but I had a right to know what in the world of Super Mario Brothers was going on!

"Just listen," Marissa whispered so low I could barely hear.

All eyes were focused to the holes to the PA monitor where the principal's voice was blurting through. Well, if you can't beat them start staring into PA monitors I guess...

"And as a last note," The deep voice the principal cracked out of the speakers.

"Tickets for the big spring dance are being sold in the cafeteria at lunch

There will be food, drinks, and a DJ that I promise is better than last year's disaster. Pick up your tickets either now for five dollars or at the door for six this Saturday. Appropriate attire is required and listed on the ticket." The deep voice cleared and his throat and paused.

"And finally,

I challenge each and every one of you to learn something new today.

Have a great day."

The principal's voice buzzed into a quiet murmur and faded out as the whole class chattered in excited voices. This was the first dance that six graders weren't allowed near this year. Only seventh and eighth. Nobody was going to miss this dance, nobody would want to miss this dance.

"Okay class take out your silent reading books and we will start class by reading for the first ten minutes." Mrs. Riley's voice sprang from her mouth. Whining sucked all the excitement of the dance into a black hole and buried it alive, watching it gasp for air.

As I reached for a book in my backpack I noticed Kathy for the first time this morning. Her face was pale and her hair was sticking up in thick bands. She caught my gaze and sent back the same glare that Alex had earlier this morning. Her plain face shot into anger, firing up like a lighter that snapped on without warning.

Okay, I knew that Alex was still furious with me, but Kathy? Kathy who helped me with my transformation to popularity. Kathy, who told me that I should do what I really wanted and forget about Alex. How could she be mad at...me? How could she be mad at what she helped create? What she started.

The class period passed by slower than a person with a broken leg trying to walk up the stairs with crutches. The chalk clicking on the blackboard screeched as flowing dust circled around seeping to the embedded cracks of the board where the dust fairies came to collect it each night. You ever wonder were all the chalk dust went each night? Well now you know.

Marissa kept bugging me the entire class period with questions and comments about the dance. When are you going to buy your ticket? You're going with Zak, right? What shoes are you going to wear? It was like she was an insane robot programmed to annoy me with questions only about this stinkin' dance. Was there an off button somewhere? Or even a low battery mode? Something?

By the time the bell rang, I couldn't help but jump right out of my seat as if someone purposely spread foaming acid to the metal. But before I could initiate my devious plan of hiding from Marissa in the girl's bathroom, a voice called my name. And since Kathy was still not talking to me and I didn't really talk to anyone in this class except Marissa, I had no idea who was calling me. For all I knew it could have been Santa and his elves chanting my name, giving me the message that all I will be getting for the holidays is one big chunk of nothing. What a big surprise.

But when I turned my back, Mrs. Riley's mouth was open, her bony finger pointing straight at me. You know, in some cultures it is extremely rude to point, you can nudge, nod, or even grunt, but pointing is only acceptable in extreme cases or in prison. One or the other, I always forget.

"Ryan, can I have a word with you." Mrs. Riley leaned against her desk as I fought my way through the crowd pushing out the door. Marissa smiled, congratulating me on a potential detention, while Kathy sneered pushing her way through, almost knocking me down.

The class was empty, and once again silent. Papers flowing on the floor, abandoned erasers crying out to be rescued, tissues whirling around in the crowded trash. And then just Mrs. Riley and I.

"Ryan, I just wanted to let you know if you ever want to talk about anything at all, you always have a safe place here." Mrs. Riley's eyes widened searching for mine that were looking for an escape as I leaned my back against the door that led outside to the hallways.

Once again Mrs. Riley was pushing to talk about...I didn't even know about what! She was driving me crazy! I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk to anyone! Why can't I just bring her an apple and maybe then she could forget about this whole situation. It might have to be a certain kind of apple though...

"Mrs. Riley I don't know..."

"Well, you'll think about it then." Mrs. Riley jumped in, sliding closer to me.

"Whatever." I mumbled finding the familiar golden knob and swinging the door open, one foot already in the hallway ready to sprint out of the room that was starting to smother me like an invisible force.

"Ryan."

I snapped my neck into the crack that the door had left.

"When you want to talk, I'll be here waiting." Mrs. Riley called as the door shut, closing out her spoken words. Closing out the only help that I would be offered, the only person who noticed. Closing out the only option that I had left.

Chapter 23: Dance, Dance

"Hey, Ryan. Over here!" Zak waved at my wobbling tray that had gravy dripping from the edge. A trail of pooping gravy droplets, carving a slimy path across the cafeteria floor. Just don't step in it! You don't want the gravy police chasing you across the state boundary lines, do you?

My hand released a side of the tray as gravy snuck through the mashed potato barrier and jumped onto the floor. I quickly swept my hand back to the tray, my skin smearing on a blotch of gravy slime. The sauce seeping under my nail, creating a pile of goop. Great, the gravy police definitely will hear about this one. Should I change my name to Howard or Stan?

I suddenly looked up from my gravy situation and before I had the chance to knock head first into a slime covered garbage can and drink up my daily dose of humiliation, I swept my knees to the other side and knocked into an even better slime covered sixth grader. Lucky for me, my balance was on point today and I only suffered from minor slime injuries on my hand where the gravy stained from before. Not so lucky for the sixth grader, he fell right on his face, smashing into his tray of left over beef stew. His glasses stained with gravy slime, dripping down his face.

I was going to offer my slime covered hand to the kid, but the Pops were two tables away and already gasping with laughter. I decided not hurt my chances at the brownie points I just earned and started to walk away. Sorry, kid, next time I promise to personally clean your glasses and offer you a change of clothes, but not today. Not today, or any time soon.

"Hey, Ryan, that was some show!"

"What a joke, that loser sixth grader."

"Ryan, you're a riot!"

The comments came flying at my face as I slide right next to Zak. By now everyone knew that we were going out, thanks to Marissa, I might add. Her big mouth couldn't hold in gossip if it was glued together, taped, and pasted with cement. But I guess, I didn't really mind. I mean what was the point of going out with someone, especially the cutest someone in the whole school, if nobody knew. For the good of the citizen's in this very school, the secret had to be let loose.

"That was a good one, Ryan." Zak spoke sending chills down my neck that reached all the way to my subzero degree toes. No matter how many times I heard his voice, it still gave me chills. Someone grab a fireball, a flamethrower, before I turned into a snowman, or woman. Not all snow people are men, you know!

"Thanks." I replied grabbing my plastic fork and mixing up my potato and gravy combo into a mushy river surrounding a mountain where the potato people lived. You've just hit a homerun winning the championship game, what do you plan to do next? I'm going to potato land!

I gazed at the table. Marissa was across from me, her mouth dancing away, twirling like a plastic ballerina in a music box. Lara, next to her, eyeballing Marissa like a golden trophy as she swirled her spoon in a blob of pudding that had more chunks then the sixth grader's beef stew. All the other Pops were unconsciously playing with their food, forced to listen to Marissa's lips move up and down, while they placed their hand to their head. Couldn't Marissa take a hint? Nobody wanted to hear details about every purse you own!

"Anyway, who's excited about the big dance coming up?" Marissa's interrupted her own purse story, and gave a half evil smirk.

As soon as the word dance came out off Marissa's lips, the table burst with chatter. Spoons whipped in the air pointing for attention to speak, flinging assorted foods across the table. A bitten carrot even made its way into my potato fortress (all bow to carrot king). Hands shook with excitement, fingers pushing into shoulders, words running rapidly like a flowing river, out of mouths.

Great...not the dance again...

"I think I'm going to wear the dress with the bow tie in the back. The one with the frills," Lara sang, perking her head up high as if she was behind the tallest man in the world at the movie theater, and the only way she could possibly see, was to get a booster seat and stand the whole time on someone's shoulders.

"No, don't wear that! That is so last year! Wear a dress with sequence!" Another Pop squeaked, while a piece of chunky pudding slipped out of her mouth landing inches away from Lara's pulsing fingertip.

"You can't wear sequence, Lara! I'm the only one at this table who is going to wear sequence to this dance!" Marissa spat, pounding the table, making it shift closer to me, pushing it into my gut as I was swallowing a piece of meat. Hey! If you want to push a table into my stomach, fine! But just do it when I'm not in the middle of eating. Unless you want meat regurgitated and chucked at your face, which could be arranged by the way.

"What about you Ryan? You still haven't told me what you're going to wear," Marissa spoke almost making me spit the meat that was still stuck in my throat. Let's play a new game, make Ryan toss her cookies into Marissa's face! Our first contestant, what do you know...Marissa!

"Um...a dress," I coughed as the meat in my throat scratched its way down.

The whole table thundered with laughter. Juice spilling out of their noses, ketchup squirting from half opened packets, even arms swung, smacking the closest person in the head, and if lucky in the eyeball. Okay, I was funny, but not I-am-about-to-slam-my head-into-a-table-full-of-mashed-potato-and-carrot-kings- funny!

"Ryan, you're hil-ar-ious!"

"Good, one!"

Pops started to squeak out through gasps of laughter how funny I was. Their windpipes were crackling in tune with each other. Drool shooting out of their mouths, fists hitting my back with more force than a bowling ball dropped to the foot. Even Zak gave me a reassuring nudge to my shoulder, causing me to forget the pain of the bowling ball hit to my back. Okay, everyone could STOP HITTING ME NOW! You can poke me, you can tap me, but never hit me. Except Zak! You can keep nudging me. So if your name is not Zak, get the jeepers creepers away from me.

"No but seriously, what are you going to wear?" Marissa snorted through her gasping throat, still slapping her knee like it was going to attack her at any moment.

How in the world of Walt Disney was I supposed to know what to wear to this stinkin' dance? Come on brain, think for once in your short slimy life! Some useful information would be very...USEFUL right about now! Who cared if I wore sparkles or flip-flops, or even, do I dare, last year's bow-tie dress? What did it matter? It was just a dance? But if Marissa cared, if the Pops cared, especially if Zak cared, then I had to wear the right kind of clothes to this dance. I had to wear the right shoes, the right hair style, every single detail has to be right. Even if I everything about it felt wrong.

My eyes shot across the cafeteria and suddenly caught sight of Kathy on the other side of the cafeteria. She had her legs crossed, huddled together as if she was in art class and glued her legs together on a dare. Her arm swung loosely by her empty side as she dug her fork, stabbing into her food. There were two other kids at the opposite end of Kathy's table, but they were in their own little world, town, state, even zip code. Talking to each other in a small corner as if Kathy didn't exist. As if they only let her sit at their personal area because there was nowhere else to go. Nowhere else to be.

My glance shifted over and stopped on a boy who was leaning over the table, his face above a food of tray, perfect position for pushing it into the pile of food. But he just glazed his eyes over the pizza grease that swam around in a little pool. Other kids were at the table too. They were snorting food out their noses, seeing what item of food was best for launching out their nostril to the nearest garbage can. All the guys were punching each other playfully in the arm, and laughing hard enough that they choked on their own tears. But the one boy just kept staring. His hand raking through his unwashed hair, not noticing that he just wiped his greasy fingers through the strands. The boy suddenly shot his eyes up and before I could look away, Alex gave me a spine shuddering stare that soaked into my skin, sleeking my veins with frosted icicles.

"Ryan, I think you should wear a light purple dress with the sparkle shoes you're wearing now. What do you think Marissa?" A voice popped up breaking my thoughts apart like a paper piñata being murdered by a gang of five year olds. I guess the pause I was taking to answer Marissa about my dance attire was getting a little too long and awkward. Hey I thought it was my job to break up awkward silences. It is my soul obligation to state an awkward silence upon action!

Awkward silence!

Alex and I used to have lots of those. The good kind though.

"Yeah, whatever, just no sequence!" Marissa snapped again almost making me wobble in my seat and fall backwards into a kid who would have had a head full of spaghettis afterwards. "I already called it."

"You'll look beautiful, like always," Zak smirked giving a crooked smile. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, giving me a side-hug that seized my whole body inside and out.

Yeah, it depends on what you consider beautiful...

I thought as my head leaned closer to the table as if the hinges were loose causing my forehead to sag, while the tip of my nose smashed my potato kingdom, and the potato people cried out in a painful scream. Yeah I know what you feel like, if only screaming would let me escape.

Chapter 24: The Truth Lies in the Toliet

Time was running out.

It was going happen soon, I could feel it. If I didn't do something in the next minute I could blow up, and burst to microscopic pieces that would shoot in all directions, and if you weren't ducking at the exact moment, well... don't say I didn't warn you.

The clock felt like it was clicking by slower than usual. The hands moving like some evil guy was controlling all the time and wanted me to wait in agony. Suffer and twitch in my seat, squirming as if my whole body itched and finally the evil time keeper would eventually stop time all together and we would be stuck in the moment for hundreds of years and by then, it would be too late.

Way too late.

"Well, for homework tonight..." Mrs. Riley started reaching for a piece of chalk that just dropped and rolled under her desk. She bent her body over and reached for the chalk, her fingertips pushing it farther under every time she came closer.

SOMEONE get her the piece of chalk, hurry! Call the fire department, the police, the next-door neighbor who owned a very long stick for emergencies like this! Find a baby with a small head who can fit their tiny-balled fist under the desk, a Smurf or some magical creature. Something! I couldn't take this anymore! I'm going to combust, explode, punch someone! Please bell ring, for the love of the human race and all the cheese puffs in Cheeto-land!

"So...homework, ah, yes," Mrs. Riley managed to scrape up the chalk without the help of reinforcements. Call 911 back tell them, it was a false alarm!

BEEP!

The bell rang, before Mrs. Riley could give us homework, again, or before I could illegally combusted in the premises of the school. It was okay when the science lab decides to blow up a watermelon with school certified exploding chemicals, but when a student decides to blow up, then people start to get angry.

I was the first one out of the classroom, running with my bag sagging down my back, kicking at my wobbling legs. I pushed through kids escaping the doors as the last bell sung, echoing off the lockers in the hallway. People were falling like dominos as I bashed into them. I felt bad, but the pain inside me was much worse for me to have the energy to backtrack and stretch out an open hand or pick up fallen books.

My feet swerved around the corner almost making me slam into an open locker, with pointed metal tips, and sharp edges. I had to dig my shoes into the slippery tiles so I didn't have a head on collision with the metal locker. Let me just say the locker would win in any collision that included me.

My lungs were on fire, hands shaking, breath spurting out in burst of short incisions of pain. I had to keep moving. I might not make it, I might not come close, but I had to try, and if that meant breaking the nearest window with a karate chop kick and sprinting far away from any sight of human beings, well so be it! I had to do what's right!

The opening at the end of the hallway sprung out to me, taking my eyes away, and letting relief slap me in the face with a white glove. The sign above the opening made my eyes water, made my knees bend together, snapping like an old rubber band. If I didn't have so much pain erupting from my insides, I think I would have melted in a slime pile, waiting for the janitor to mop me up, wringing me out like a wet bathing suit. I glanced at the sign once more, making sure I was in the right place and slipped into the girls bathroom, shoving myself into an empty stall. Letting a sigh of relief consume me as I started to pee and the pain disappeared.

The main door to the girl's bathroom suddenly ripped opened as I finished my business in the stall.

"So I wanted to talk to you about something?"

"Why in a disgusting bathroom? It always smells in here!"

I flinched. Actually flinching was an understatement. My whole body crippled into itself, cringing, skin snapping into one big pinch, fingers trembling, and a scream rumbled in my chest ready to explode! This could not be happening! Couldn't the cloud of doom that floated over my head torture some other poor innocent soul for once?

"Shhh! Do you want Marissa to find out about this?" Lara's voice murmured.

"No," squeaked a Pop that I didn't recognize.

I closed the toilet seat so that I could sit without falling into the bowl of water. My knees scrunched to my chest, my arms locked around them so the only way Lara or the other Pop would know I was in here was if they got a bulldozer and plowed their way through the stalls, crushing all the toilets and people who were simply doing their business.

"So what did you want to tell me?" The unrecognized Pop cleared her throat.

The water turned on, trickling in a smooth beat. Drops slashing out onto the tile in tiny puddles. My butt started to get numb and if I didn't know any better I would say that my legs somehow sprang off my body from the fact that I couldn't feel them anymore. If I didn't get off this toilet seat soon, I think my butt will be unable to move and I'll be forced to get a transplant. Anyone want to offer their butt right now, it would make life a lot easier.

"You know how Marissa has been hanging out with that Ryan girl..." Lara sniffed, fixing her hair into a high pony. A twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"Yeah, Marissa is like glued to her, they do everything together. It seems like Marissa found a new best friend..." The Pop started to speak, screeching the faucet to a sudden stop that echoed through the stalls and into my ears, throbbing into my body.

I peeked through the fingernail sized crack that the door to the stall left open for the sole purpose of spying, and rested my hand on the toilet paper dispenser kneeling on the bowl with my feet reddening under their crunched position.

"Yeah, okay, I get it!" Lara sneered at the truth of the Pop's statement as she ripped the cold water on, and dipped her painted nails in for a swim, streaming them through her long hair, twirling the tips.

"Anyway, the only reason Marissa is getting so close to Ryan is so she can steal her popularity back. Ryan is becoming more popular than Marissa and that can't happen!" Lara's voice started to escalate as if erupting from a volcano. "If the order of popularity gets out of hand, the perfect balance that controls this school will be destroyed, and the next thing you know, geeks will be ruling the school. And we can't let that happen!"

Lara smashed her fist into the pool of water that was collecting in the sink. Flying streams hit the cracked mirror, and dribbled down in a slow river that gathered, soaking into that crack. She lifted her white fist and tried to smooth out her hair that was sticking up in the back, drenching the piece until it fell loosely into place.

My stomach lurched with silence, as I gripped onto the rusted toilet dispenser with my knuckles snapping red. Okay, I knew that Marissa didn't particularly like me, actually I knew she hated me, but I didn't think it was this bad...

"Yeah, and now, she's making a secret plan to embarrass Ryan so much that she'll never be popular ever again." Lara laughed as she swung her body to the other Pop, bending her shoulders as another choke of laughter exploded out like a hairball.

A smile curled on my face. How can Marissa embarrass me more than I already do all by myself? Can I join your plan, Marissa! I would love to give you a couple tips since I seem to be an expert! You know, I should win an embarrassment award. I could hear it now, and the embarrassment medal goes to Ryan, for making it look like she's not even trying! Just don't trip on the stage...too late!

"But, what about Zak, what does he have to say since they're together..."

"Zak never even liked Ryan in the first place! If it wasn't for her looks and instant popularity, Zak would be avoiding her, not even speaking to her. He only liked her for her looks, and nothing else!" Lara grabbed another chunk of hair and snatched a scrunchie out of her pocket, twisting it around until the hair collapsed, bouncing on her shoulder.

My heart sank, and if it wasn't for the fact that my rib cage was holding my red slither of a heart in securely, I think it would have scaled my throat and jumped into the toilet, flushing itself with all the other waste inside. My hand wobbled, and rocked back and forth on the dispenser, as my knees twitched, chattering like teeth after you get out of the pool with no towel to wrap in the warmth. My eyes widened, bubbling up in the sockets, burning to blink. What just happened...?

I knew that Marissa was as fake as a dolled up manikin in a dress store, but Zak? The one who said that I was beautiful, who held my hand in the hallways as if he never wanted to unlock his fingers from mine, who only gave his signature crooked smile to me, and me alone. Zak, he couldn't...it couldn't be...no!

YOU'RE LYING, LARA! YOU'RE LYING!

"I sort of feel the tiniest bit bad for her..." the Pop mumbled as her shoe squeaked against the puddles of water that coated the tiles.

"DON'T! She doesn't deserve it! Don't give her your pity. She is nothing. And a nothing like her doesn't deserve anything!" Lara whipped the door to the girl's bathroom open, releasing her voice that zipped through the hallway.

A nothing like her doesn't deserve anything!

"A nothing like her..." I repeated to myself the words slipping off my lips like the water that dribbled off that cracked mirror. My knee drifted off the edge of the toilet while my hand lost its white knuckle grip, and my body fell flat onto the tiled floor, stinging a sharp through my knees. But not sharper than the other pain.

The pain that a nothing like her deserves.

Chapter 25: Mrs. Riley and Other Spiraling Thoughts

I snap out of the girls bathroom, sprinting down the hallway, hands flying through, while my knees crunched to the beat of my racing heart as if there was cereal stuck in between the joints of my leg and every time I made the slightest movement the stale cereal jingled out a tune. My palms sprinkled beads of sweat while my stomach was moments away from regurgitating leftovers from lunch.

What if Lara didn't know what she was talking about?

What if she was brain washed by robotic kittens that were out to get me and my big mouth for offending the kitten community. It was ONE time that I wished for a space person from far away to capture all the kittens in the world and feed them to the galactic monsters that have one eye and teeth made out of orange Jell-o! ONE TIME and all the kittens hate you for life!

I just couldn't believe Zak was like all the others.

Like all the other Pops who only cared about their looks, and popularity. He couldn't be like all the mindless zombies that sat at our lunch table. Zak was different, he liked me...he was different!

My crunching knees bounced around the corner, ears pounding into my face, squeezing my brain into grated cheese from the pressure. My hands were shaking against my sides, nails sharp into my skin. Lips caked together.

I didn't realize where I was running to until Room 102 came into view, my feet squeaking to a sudden stop in front of the door. My heart bounced inside it's ribbed cage, banging on the bones like a wild ape trying to plan a diabolical escape. I stared at the golden knob while my teeth sucked into the side of my cheeks trying to contemplate what lay before me. And before I could run down the hallway, find the nearest locker, snap it open and stuff myself inside, the door to room 102 opened as if recognizing my presence. A smiling face appeared glowing through it.

"Ryan, so nice to see you." Mrs. Riley spoke as the tip of her upper lip curved into a bigger smile that looked as if it was injected with growth serum and could snap off her face and escape down the hallway spreading its awkward joy like air fresher.

"Yeah...um" My mouth moved sending the only words that were possible at this moment. Sorry but my brain is on overdrive trying to figure out a way out of this situation that didn't include me winding up in detention with Daven again. Let's see, maybe I could slam the door in Mrs. Riley's face and sprint all the way home, she would be too distracted to remember who she was talking to...or when in doubt mind control always works.

"Come on it, take a seat." Mrs. Riley's finger pointed to one of those twisty chairs that were irresistible to any child's small attention span. The chair that was calling to me, saying, Ryan sit in me, you know you want to, I'm so fun and distracting, and...Ahhh she knew I was coming, didn't she!

And before I could start my escape plan in action, before I could snap my legs in full speed out the wooden doorframe of 102, before I could even get my brain to function properly sending the message to my cells to run for it, my body ended up in the comfy chair next to Mrs. Riley's desk, the door creaking shut. Well there goes my escape plan, stupid mind controlling chair that knows my name!

Mrs. Riley pulled up her teacher's chair next to my twisty one, locking her hands together into a knot that squeezed tight around each finger. Her eyes were hard like stale bread that had been sitting in your refrigerator for weeks.

"So, Ryan, what brings you here?" Mrs. Riley's upper lip twitched. "Did you decide that you wanted to talk?"

"Talk, about what?" I gasped between breaks in my spinning circle, too occupied by the wind in my face from my world record-breaking speed on the chair. If there were a competition for the most times a person could spin before puking their guts, I would win hands, and feet down!

"You know, maybe about any recent changes?"

"Changes?" I screeched my chair to a sudden stop, facing Mrs. Riley.

Her head was bowed down, eyes watching her twitching fingers locking up and loosen, and locking up again. Her breathing was deep, cheeks squished into her mouth as if she was sucking on the words, trying not to let them out her mouth and into the air between us. She creaked her head up and let her eyes fall onto mine, eyes that said what her words wouldn't.

NO! I didn't know what this was about! All I knew was that I ended up here for who knows what reason, my body just stopped in front of this door! What did Mrs. Riley want me to do? Spill my guts (not literarily because that would be unnecessarily gross in many ways) about what happened to me? What happened to the old Ryan? What was going on in my head? How I ditched my old friends to hang out with the cool crowd! Well, Mrs. Riley I will not talk! You cannot make one word come out of my untamed mouth! We are just going to just have to sit in earth cracking silence, because there was no way...

"It all started with my big stupid mouth and Kathy who was like, Ryan go for your dream, then Patrice was like, darling you should be thankful that I'm doing this. Then Alex was like, Ryan what are you doing? Are you crazy? And now he won't speak to me. Then the baseball team screaming at me for not being at practice, Ryan, you're not a heater anymore. And Marissa with her big head was like you have to act popular to be popular, so now Kathy is mad at me. And Zak! I thought he liked me, but then Lara was like, I'm a nothing and that Zak only liked me because I was popular, and my brain is going to explode in a million pieces because I DON'T KNOW WHAT IN THE CHEESE AND CRACKERS IS GOING ON!"

All the problems and worries, and guilt that has been held up inside me like a helium balloon, just burst into small fragments that floated out into the air in one big swoosh. I couldn't stop my mouth. The words just kept flowing out, spilling onto the floor, leaking into the walls, slamming into the chalkboard, spreading in every crack and dent in the room. So much for not saying one word! Stupid mouth and it' uncontrollable urge to speak without thinking!

Mrs. Riley's eyes glued onto me, her mouth parted slightly showing the edges of white teeth. She cleared her throat probably wondering what she got herself into. "Okay, let's take this a little slower this time."

By the time I told the whole story to Mrs. Riley, my knees were shaking into each other, my rib cage felt like it pushing into my lungs, and my brain still was all for exploding without warning. I knew that some of the things that I had done to become popular weren't the smartest, or nicest, but to hear it come out of my own traitor-of-a-mouth, to hear the words sink into the air, whirling out in the open, jumping out in plain sight with neon flashing lights was almost as if I was just realizing now what I had done. What I was doing!

I had been digging myself into a hole this whole time and now it was too deep to get out. The dirt had hardened, the soil sunken, the only way out was on my own. No ladder, no shovel, no hand to grab onto. I dug myself into this hole with my own toy shovel, and now I need help to find a way out...somehow.

"...I'm just a disappointment to everyone. My team, my friends, even myself." My voice trembled on the last few words like an opera singer whose voice was straining for the last three hours. My eyes glued to my fingertips that were drumming a steady beat on my thigh, while my stomach clutched into itself, tightening like people do when they want to pretend they have a six pack instead of a two and a half pack.

"Ryan, what do you want?" Mrs. Riley asked in a soft tone.

"What do you mean what do I want?" I nearly screamed through gritted teeth!

WHAT DO I WANT! I want everyone to like me. I want for Alex to be my friend again, for Kathy to say, "hey girl what's going on", for the baseball team to come crying, begging for me to stay on the team. I want Marissa and Lara to magically disappear and land on a strange planet and be forced to marry slimy alien dudes that smell like rice pudding. I want Zak to really like me for who I am, not what I am. I want my dad to support me no matter what I do. I want...

"What do you really want?" Mrs. Riley asked again interrupting the intelligent conversation I was having with myself. Her eyebrows arched almost launching off her forehead.

"I don't...know" My lips barely moved as hot air melted through. My brain had a timer on it, ticking away at the moments until destruction, until implosion.

"When you know the answer to that question you will know what path is right for you." Mrs. Riley took a deep breath, her eyes now solid and bright as if they were replaced by silver blue marbles that glowed in the dark. "You will know what is right."

Yeah, and evil goat cheese from Africa will take over the principal's brain making him cancel school for twenty straight days in the middle of spring due to weather, when the only chance of snow, or natural disasters would be if a kid chained a magical genie to his bed and demanded to have no school for the rest of the year. Mrs. Riley if you think even for one second of a second that the right path, the right answer, will pop out in the middle of nowhere saying, Ryan pick me, because I'm the right path, you must have some evil goat cheese inside of your brain.

And anyway, sometimes the right path isn't always the best one.

After I escaped out of Mrs. Riley's "therapy session" I felt even more confused. She made problems, and worries that I hadn't even considered appear in my head, jumping around like little jelly beans in a container that a six year old got a hold of and decided to shake until the beans dented a small enough hole to poke a finger through.

My legs dragged against the pavement of the sidewalk as I moved my body closer to accomplish mission-get-your-butt-home-right-now-before-Dad-finds-out-and-becomes-another-problem-on-your-list. My list was already overflowing and I didn't need anything else to go wrong.

My head still felt as bloated as someone on thanksgiving who thought maybe they started to eat too much right after the first course. Mrs. Riley said I should figure out what I wanted, what I really wanted, in her words. How was I supposed to do that when I had bigger problems like Lara, and Marissa's mutiny against me. I would have mutinied first but no Marissa always had to be the first at everything!

Then Zak.

Lara wouldn't lie about that. Frankly I didn't think she had the brain cells to come up with such a lie all by herself and the pit growing in my stomach told me she was telling the truth. A truth that had to be kept secret, between locked lips with the key swimming down the closet river.

I slipped onto my driveway, preparing myself for the mountain hikers incline that I had to walk to get inside. My hands gripped onto my backpack that decided to be a pain like usual and hang on the tip of my shoulder so that it felt like it was falling every time I moved the slightest inch.

My knuckles fell loosely onto the front door as if all the energy got sucked and the door was there to catch the fall. I sucked in my breath. Oh, and one more worry on my list I forget to mention (sorry the list just keeps getting bigger, is it really my fault if worry twenty-five slipped my mind for a few seconds?)...my dad.

"Ryan, where were you?" My dad's voice boomed through the door as he opened it, whipping hot air in my face. How he knew it was me before he even opened the door was only a question for the wisest person alive. Maybe he had door-sensing abilities. Hah! I figured it out, does that make me the wisest person alive? Okay, maybe the second wisest.

"At school, I needed...help," I mumbled trying to sound convincing. Well, I wasn't actually lying to him. I did actually stay after school, and I did need help. Even if I didn't ask for the help in the first place, and the person who helped me just confused the living creepers out of me! Excellent work Mrs. Riley, who get a gold star!

"Hmm...that's what I like to see. My girl trying her best in school. Good Job!" My dad coughed, not used to complimenting me on anything. Now that my dad had seen my outside transformation he was acting unusually nice to me, and actually...supportive for once...which felt oddly weird and comforting at the same time.

"Yeah, just trying my best." I said slumping inside with my rebel of a backpack fighting its way off my shoulder.

My sparkle shoes went flying off my feet as I started to run up the stairs, not really in the mood for a conversation with anyone, including my own brain. The tip of my big toe practically made it to the top step, in the home-free zone, before an escalating voice halted me in my tracks. So close.

"Ryan." My dad coughed up like phlegm was stuck deep in his throat.

"Yeah." I said my foot still glued to the top step.

"Someone came by earlier, asking for you."

Suddenly I slid down the whole staircases, landing feet first, almost knocking into the banister. Someone was asking for me?

I wonder who it was? Alex, to ask if we could be friends again? Kathy saying that all this was a misunderstanding, and how we should just forget what happen between us? Marissa and Lara to announce their departure to a strange planet to marry those aliens? Or Zak? Coming to break up the rumor that he heard from Lara?

"WHO?" I screamed not able to close my mouth quickly enough to stop the fire that was burning inside.

"A boy..." My dad's voice grunted in disapproval.

Zak?

"What did he want?" My mouth dripped with saliva that felt like fire on my tongue. Both of my hands were gripped onto the wooden banister, nails digging, not letting go while my eyes opened wider than was humanly possible.

"...he wanted to know if you were home," my dad spoke the words spilling out of a locked mouth. "I told him, he better have a good reason for coming here."

"And..."

"And he gave me a note. I left it in your room..."

My body was suddenly sprinting up the stair again before my dad could finish his sentence. My heart raced, lapping in its rib cage, hands shaking at my sides ready to pounce onto the note, and rip it open with my teeth if I had to.

"I don't really like this idea of a boy following you around..." my dad's voice drowned out by my door slamming hitting the air with more force than a punch to the gut, shutting my dad, all my problems, and the world out as the door clicked and silence coated the room like liquid dark chocolate.

The note was in an envelope, smooth no crease, placed at the tip of my bed. I contemplated for half a second, HALF A SECOND, of being civilized and getting a practical tool like an envelope opener or scissors, but the primal instinct was too much and I grabbed the note with my hand, tearing at the seams like a kid opening presents on Christmas morning.

The note fell out of the torn packaging it came in, slipping onto my lap as if knowing the words were intended for me. I flipped through the creased tips with a gently fingertip, my stomach tightening again, my heart bouncing up and down on my inflatable trampoline of lungs, as my eyes focused on the bleeding black ink...

My Sweet Ryan,

I am so sorry that I have been following you, tracing your beautiful footsteps everywhere you went. I know that made you unhappy and you wished that I would just leave you alone, so you never had to see my "stupid big head" again. I just wanted to see you happy and if that means being with Zak or for me to stay away from you forever, I guess it has to be that way.

I hope that you found what makes you the happiest, and I promise to leave you alone, for good.

Love your lost friend,

Pete

I read the note again.

And once I finished, I read it over again, and again. I read until the words were memorized into my brain, the ink tattooed into my heart, burned into my skin, the words flowing through my head like a song un replay.

I tried to rub the note before the tear stains ruined the paper, and smeared the ink. Tried to scratch the stains out thinking if I could make this disappear maybe it would make everything okay, it would make everything not as bad as it really seemed, even though it was actually that bad. No, not that bad. Terrible, pain-staking, heart twitching, slapped in the face with a silk white glove for hours, bad.

Great! My list of people who hated me was now longer than a grocery list before the holidays. The only person left, who actually had any genuine feelings that had been there for me even when I yelled and called him names, just left. My only alliance, my last safety blanket, my only support left my side, left me with nothing but my stubborn fat head and even bigger mouth.

Pete left me, and I deserved all of it.

Chapter 26: The Monster Within

I stumbled off the bus tripping into the person who was innocently walking in front of me. The girl whipped her hair around, and sneered as she walked away towards her friends. Great another potential member for my personal I Hate Ryan Club! Come join us every Thursday after school were we make personal T-shirts with Ryan hate slogans and sit in a circle going back and forth about things that suck about Ryan.

I sighed just thinking about school today.

My sparkle shoes were glued to the ground as if someone mixed super glue, gum, and boogers into one boiling pot, and let it sit for days until the stickiness was just the right amount, only to swipe it under my super cool shoes, making me look like an idiot trying to pull my feet off the cement. Did everyone have a secret diabolical plan to ruin my life?

Suddenly my brain started to spin. And not the fun kind of spinning that goes along with the twisty chair in Mrs. Riley's room. No, a spinning that made your head feel like it was trapped in total darkness, not knowing if the next step would take you to an exit or tumbling into misplaced furniture. This was not fun spinning, not fun at all.

My mind went back to last night and the note. I couldn't believe that Pete actually deserted me. What was I saying...I totally believe it, every word, every sentence, every tear that stained that note. Everyone was against me at this point, on the opposing team and I am the one who put everyone there. What I couldn't believe was how stupid I was to do this to all my friends, to all the people who cared about me, to myself. I did this to myself.

"HEY RYAN!"

A voice screamed, probably annoyed that I was in my own little thoughts, too busy to pay attention. Excuse me, but I am having a small mental crisis here, so if you don't mind would you be able to pick another person having a breakdown to interrupt?

"WHAT?" I swung my body around to find, what did you know, all eight guys on my baseball team, including Alex. You know, they were very predictable. Why couldn't I just turn around and find an army of mutated bunnies with razor sharp teeth riding monster trucks. At least I would be somewhat surprised.

Dan was in the middle of the pack, the team waiting on his lead as usual. His face was at the verge of turning a color that would make people think he was having a heart attack. His eyes throbbed as if a pulse pounded through every organ in his body. The pulse that was vibrating through Dan leaked and sunk into the whole team. Putting this anger in the air that the whole team was in on, everyone but Alex. His face was just blank, as if he suddenly decided to stop caring about everything, especially me.

"You know what!" Dan spat, and even though he was feet away from me, the saliva landed next to my sparkle shoes. "WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT?"

Oh, crud.

I forgot that we, I mean...they had a game yesterday. And not just any game, the mother of all games, the game that could be the difference between becoming a professional baseball player, or a professional fry cook. The game that meant going to the championship round.

"What happened to I'm not a Heater anymore!" My voice cracked from rage. Either kick me off the team or don't. There was no in between. I couldn't be on the team one second and not on the team another. Make up your mind! I was already a mess of confusion and my sanity was sure to go soon enough. Are you trying to make it worse?

"Yeah, didn't you say that yesterday...?" One of the guys on the team squeaked.

"Whatever." Dan brushed off the question as if he didn't even hear it. "The point is you weren't there. And thanks to you we almost lost!"

The team mumbled comments in the background, chatter that flew like a river. Lips moving rapidly, sound spreading out into the air like venom coated in saliva. Dan shook, his whole body rocking back and forth. The louder the noise, the more Dan looked like a dancing noodle escaping from a spaghettis monster. His lips trembled, eyes wide open pulsing with anger.

"ENOUGH!" Dan spat, silence shattering over the whole group, cracking like glass. "We don't need you anymore."

"Good." I narrowed my eyes, ready to walk away.

"Anyway your stupid dance is the same day as the championship game. And I already heard you were already going to the dance." Dan lifted his chin as if his head suddenly became too big for his body. Probably filled with just more hot air. "You just go to your stupid dance, play dress up in your little dream world, and stay the crud from us! From the team. From the game."

My face broke from the force field of stillness, and wrinkled up in a twisted knot. My lips tightened unable to speak for once, to say one word, one sound. My mouth was dead, lifeless, not moving, a disgrace to all disobedient mouths around the world.

"Let's get out of here." Dan led the rest of the guys past me, all of them giving me a look that would make you want to find the nearest hole, and hide in it for twenty years.

Alex was last to pass me still styling a blank look. He stopped as soon as his body was parallel to mine. His eyes were lazars, digging through my skin. My breath was tangled in my throat, trying to force itself down back into my lungs.

"Saturday." He breathed.

"What about Saturday?"

"Choose right, or don't choose at all."

Alex threatened as walked pass me as if I didn't exist, as if I just disappeared and got sucked into the air, flowing away, lost in the wind. I rubbed my shoulder where there was a small red mark from yesterday when Alex pushed me into the lockers.

How was I supposed to choose right when Dan banned me from the game? Hello, do you have a head Alex? Did your brain run out of batteries! What did you want me to do, cut myself in half and send the popular side to the dance and the baseball side to the game? Either way, either choice, someone was going to hunt me down, and wrangle me to a pulp. No matter what I chose, it was going to end bad. Mrs. Riley was wrong, there was no right path.

I whipped open the door to room 102, my lungs on fire, my breath wheezing out of me like a toy duck that was coughing one last quack before death. My face felt like it was drowning in hot sauce topped while my knees were ready to collapse under the weight of my obese backpack.

"MRS. RILEY!" I gasped as the wooden door slammed shut. "We need to talk!"

Mrs. Riley was seated at her desk, legs crossed, and arms folded over paper with red markings. HELLO! MRS. RILEY! Earth to teacher, student needs help! Current crisis over here! At least take one glance from your grading frenzy! Where's the government, the feds? Doesn't anyone in this educational premises care about my brain that decided to explode ten seconds ago? I'm getting tired of the brain fumes suffocating my nostrils.

"Ryan, have a seat!" Mrs. Riley's voice escaped through her lips.

"NO! I will not have a seat!" I choked out, my lips trembling as if crumbled under a burning flame that engulfed half the neighborhood. The strain in my voice snatched Mrs. Riley's eyes and forced them to look at me. Look at my face that was coated with make-up hiding my panicked stare. She took in my clothes that mimicked the style of the Pops but was starting to wrinkle at the seams and show my true self. She really looked at me.

"Okay, so let's talk." The pen dropped from Mrs. Riley's hand as if it pricked her in the thumb, and gave her an electric shock. Bad pen! What did I tell you about hurting Mrs. Riley? Don't hurt her until after she helps me. Then you can prick and shock all you want.

"I don't know what to do anymore!" I took a seat in the twisty chair giving into temptation. I know I refused to sit before but...twisty chair...do I have to say more?

"You don't know what to do about what..." Mrs. Riley's mouth twitched.

"What do you think?" My jaw clenched trying not to sound rude but come on Mrs. Riley! Work with me here! Do I have to get you a magical potion to make you remember our little conversation yesterday? Because I will force that potion down your throat if I have to!

"What happened today Ryan?" Her eyes stared directly at me.

I didn't even want to think of what happened today. I don't think anyone in their right (or wrong) minds would want to know what happened to me today! Not even the King of England's ghost that roamed around board out of his nonexistent brains would want to know!

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes.

The faces of all the guys on my baseball team came to life. Yelling at me, spit flying, caked on the sidewalk. Then at lunch. I was at the table, but I have no idea what was going on. Just murmurs of conversations I didn't care about. It was like someone brain washed me for the fun seeing drool escape out the corner of mouth.

How could I still sit with those people, those Pops who only looked at me one way, ignoring the other side of me? How could I sit next to the boy who only wanted to be with me because of my looks? Those Pops were not my friends. Zak was not my friend. If walked into the school tomorrow dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt that had a BBQ stain on it from last week, the Pops would snatch my popularity and throw me out of their group with no hesitation. Zak would probably not even look at me. My dream of becoming popular was starting to crack and I didn't care.

"It all started with the guys on my team this morning. They got really mad because they found out that the championship game is on the same day as the big dance tomorrow. But why would I go to the game in the first place if Dan banned me from coming? And I already promised Zak I would go with him to the dance but I don't even know if Zak still likes me and I promised Alex that I would make the right choice. But who knows what that could be! For all I know he meant to fall off the face of this Earth. That could be what the right choice in Alex's mind. I don't know what to do anymore..."

All my ideas that I bolted down in my half empty head, escaped. They swam out, and danced around in the air. It was like a throw up of words that didn't entirely make sense. Actually they probably made no sense to anyone except me. What can I say, not making sense was my specialty.

Mrs. Riley must have had a degree in decoding nonsense because her brow wrinkled as if she was thinking really hard and she could combust into little Mrs. Riley pieces at any moment! Don't give in Mrs. Riley, fight your inner combustion!

"Well, Ryan. Let's see..." Mrs. Riley spoke as she got up out of her desk chair for the first time since I barged in like a raging monkey who couldn't find a banana. "...what problem is bothering you the most?" Mrs. Riley's hand fumbled with a piece of chalk, and pressed the tip of it to the board so that little dust speckles slipped off the edge.

Suddenly the image of Pete and his note snapped into my mind. The way his face crumbled like rock. How the ink smeared with water on the words that came from his heart. I couldn't get his face out of my mind...

Even when Pete wasn't here, he still polluted my mind like a stink bomb!

And what about the dance and game tomorrow! That was the first priority. Not Pete, not Alex, Kathy, or Zak! Nobody could invade my mind! I have to be focused on the real problem, the real issue, the real pain that my head was suffering from since the moment I found out the dance and game shared the same exact day.

"The dance and game tomorrow...!" I choked out as if a hairball was clogging my throat. "That is bothering me the most."

"Well, first, you have to think of all the possibilities for tomorrow," Mrs. Riley said as the chalk ticked against the board as if she was signaling an SOS. Sorry Mrs. Riley I tried that a while ago. There must be call waiting or something because nobody has come to my rescue and I sent the message two weeks ago!

"Like what?" Mrs. Riley you are going to have to help me, my brain wasn't exactly in the mood to think. Unless you wanted to find the pieces that have already exploded and glue them back to what little brain I have left, then you are out of luck. Actually that would be nice...we should set up a search party. I'll get a butterfly net.

"Like what would happen if you go to the dance?"

Alex would personally eat me alive.

"The players on my team would not be happy." I spoke twirling in my seat.

"Okay, so a negative of going to the dance is letting down your team." Mrs. Riley spoke as chalk dust skimmed the board where letters were forming. A chart was apparent under yellow raining dust. One side the dance, the other was the game. Under the dance section, Mrs. Riley wrote what I said in curly writing that made you slant your head just to understand it. The person who invented cursive must have wanted to create a worldwide epidemic of slanted neck syndrome.

"Is there anything positive if you were to go to the dance tomorrow?" Mrs. Riley's head twisted back to me in the chair that was spinning to the point where I could not make out her face anymore!

Let's see positive...let's think positive. Even semi-positive would be nice.

"Um...I would still be in with the popular group." A.K.A. the Pops would still tolerate my presence. My lips moved as my voice circled around the chair, chasing me in the twirling tornado.

"Okay, so...popularity I guess would be a positive under the dance." Mrs. Riley turned back toward the board so it seemed like her hair was talking to me instead.

By the time Mrs. Riley and I talked about all the "possibilities" (as Mrs. Riley would put it but if you asked me it was literally a list of all horrors of my life just in written form) the board was full of curly writing.

All the answers were on the board. A cheaters paradise. All the questions that I was worried about, all the doubt, and frustration erased in my mind, and printed instead was instructions. A manual that should have been followed in the first place, the first time around, the first action that should have been taken. An order from the captain. All the yellow lines, as curly and impossible to read as they were, actually made sense! This is what I had to do, what I should do, and it was all on the board in front of me.

"I have to go now."

I climbed out of the twisty chair lifting my backpack over my shoulders, and started for the door, the way out, the opening in my life because I finally knew. I was digging myself out of this hole, gripping my nails into dirt, swinging my arms over each other to get out, stabbing pain in my gut ignored, while my eyes focused on the opening at the top.

I finally knew, what mattered the most, what was locked away inside me pounding on the door to escape, swirling around, until the time was right. I think I always knew what was most important but I was afraid to realize it because to admit the truth was to admit that I was being a horrible person this whole time. And the truth was real and hurt like a baseball to the head.

I shot out of room 102 for the last time and went home on a mission.

Chapter 27: Heartbreaks and Apologies

I woke up in complete panic, my heart racing, sweat piling on my forehead. It was the morning of the big day, the dance and championship game were both in less than 10 hours. Mere hours until the decision that could impact my life or the rest of my middle school career...I felt sick.

After talking to Mrs. Riley yesterday I ran straight home and locked myself in my room. Going back and forth of what I needed to do. I had a plan, and it felt good but it was going to be tricky. I had to do things that I didn't want to do but needed to be done to make things right. I needed to make everything right again.

I was going to make things right again.

"Where are you going?"

My hand was already twisting the golden knob, ready to escape outside, ready to run down the driveway with the wind running through strands of hair, whipping in my face making me legally blind for two seconds. My dad must have a programmed chip stored somewhere in my body because every time I move he was right there breathing down my neck. Every...single...time.

Do you really want to know where I am going Dad? Of course who wouldn't want to know where I'm going...I mean let's just tell the whole world since everyone seems so interested in my problems lately! Maybe we could sit down at the table and discuss this in a more professional setting? Maybe Tuesday at 6pm, that sounds like a plan.

"Ryan." My dad cleared his throat, blinking his eyes at me.

Okay, one more blink and I swear I am out of here!

I knew what I needed to do but how could I do it with my dad knowing every move? I mean, if he knew where I was really going, what I really was doing, he would grab my arm, drag me up the stairs, and lock me in my room until my senses came flying back into my head. I might as well tell him since I was trying this new thing called not lying.

I turned around and stared him in the eyes. My head throbbing already at the reaction I was going to get. But this was my life, not my dad's or anybody else's.

"I'm going to the baseball game." I sucked in my breath.

"RYAN! You are not going to baseball," My dad's eyes bulged out, his fingers cringing. His face turned bright red as I started opening the door to escape once again. "Come back here now!"

"No"

"What did you say?"

This was not going to be pretty, or beautiful in any way, but it had to be done.

"I'm leaving, and I don't care what you say but I am making a choice. You can ground me later but I need to go now." My teeth where ready to pounce out of my mouth and jam into anything worth biting. My hands shook, legs cracked, snapping. There was this pulsing rage of things that I had pushed down for so many years.

Come on Ryan, just say it!

"Why can't you just be there for me? Support me? Instead of yelling every time I do anything that according to you isn't right? Why don't you let me play baseball? Let me reach my dreams? Why can't you accept me for who I am, for what I am?"

Accept me.

Before my dad could open his mouth, and scream anymore I shut the door in his face. I shut the door. Not looking back, not worrying about making him happy, not worrying what he thought. Just shut the door, walking down the driveway with the only worry in my head was how to make things right. To clean up the mess that I started.

I went to the side of the house where the big willow tree we named "Big Ben" blew in the wind. Slumping against the trunk that had bark piercing out, I grabbed for my baseball equipment that I hid yesterday. My hands snatched one of the willow branches that hung low, and I picked at the leaves. De-leaving Big Ben. Naked Ben, now that's a laugh.

My stomach was churning. I knew that mouthing off to my dad was not the best thing to do but it was like a volcanoe. Everything had to come out like hot lava spilling out on the village. I had to tell him how I felt, how it hurt me as much as him to scream back. I was turning a new leaf just like "Big Ben" and it all had to start on the painful truth.

I took my dad's "emergency" work cell phone that was pulling down heavy in my pocket. He usually kept the phone on him at all times, but I took it yesterday when he wasn't paying attention. It was for "emergencies" but I would call this an absolute emergency at this point. I fidgeted with the silver flip phone, the screening showing only one battery bar. Enough for one call...hopefully. If I was going to make things right then I was going all out. All the mistakes I made in the last weeks were going to be reversed...starting with this "emergency" phone call.

My fingers were heavy as I dialed the number by heart.

"Hello?" A voice broke through static, snapping my eyes wide open.

"Hi..."

"Ryan?" The voice was smooth. I could image him the other side with his bright eyes and crooked smile. But I had to focus.

"Zak" My mouth went completely dry.

"Hey, I was waiting for your call. So when do you want me to pick you up? Are you ready now, my parents have the car running..."

I couldn't do this! His voice sounded so sweet, so innocent. What if Lara was joking around, pulling my strings like a little puppet that lost its brains in a puppet car accident. But deep down I knew Lara wasn't lying. I knew that I wasn't supposed to hear her that day in the bathroom. I was not supposed to know...anything but I did and that made all the difference.

"I'm not going to the dance."

"Why! What's wrong?"

My breath wheezed through the line, getting deeper, heavier, stronger. I gripped the phone between my fingers so hard I thought it would break. I couldn't believe he was still playing this act, this game with me.

"When were you planning to tell me?" I asked innocently trying to pry out the information, trying to pick until I got the real truth.

"What do you mean...?" His voice was shaking.

"Lara told me." Lie...okay I told you I wasn't going to lie anymore but...

"Are you serious! I told her not to tell anybody." His voice quickly changed to an ugly tone. "Well, you're not innocent either! I was just using you like you were using all of us! To gain popularity, to be liked more. That's how it works."

So there it was...Lara wasn't lying...it was true, every last word.

"Actually this is how it works." My heart was pounding as I felt the fire inside me from these past weeks start to erupt. "I am not going to the dance and you can go alone. Explain that to Marissa and everyone else." "You know we are the same. The only difference is that you feel guilty."

I felt the fire burning even more in my body, escaping out my nostrils. "No, the difference between us is I am done playing this game and you are always going to be stuck in it, with the same players and the same scoring system. I am done with you, Marissa, and all the whole popular group."

"Good, I never liked you anyway." Zak coughed up a laugh.

So heard that before.

I snapped the phone shut and threw it across the grass without another word.

I knew what Lara had said was true, but it still hurt the same coming from Zak. But this was only number one on the list of things to do today and I needed to get moving and I couldn't let the sting last long. I snatched my equipment and started walking. No, running down the sidewalk. Houses started to look the same, mail boxes started to mock me with their plastic mouths, the cracks in the sidewalk started to grow deep, trying to trip me into the pits, and drag me under.

I stopped in front of a shaggy lawn. A house behind the waving grass blades, swinging with the wind, swaying as if it was dancing to a harmony that only it could hear. A laugh came out my mouth. Not a mocking, or nervous laugh. A laugh that was full of relief that let my shoulders drop, let my nose suck in fresh air, let me relax for the first time all day.

I took the crumpled paper from my pocket reading the return address marked in scribble. Ink blotches from my tears before made a circled smear around it, as if it was purposely making it pop out at you.

532 Greer Court.

This is the house. The house....

I walked through the swaying grass as if summoned. My shoulders felt heavy once more as I tried to play out what to say in my head. The smell of fresh flowers curled into my nose, the colors popping out, dripping out into the air, swirling around. Bright colors.

I stopped at the door that looked like an actually beach, blue at the top in the shape of waves, and yellow toned sand at the bottom with beach umbrellas and towels laid out.

I pushed the bell that looked like a beach ball and paused.

One more time.

The door creaked open, and quickly slammed back in my face.

Okay maybe I deserved that. No, I totally deserved that. Actually I deserved to be stuffed in the back of a taxi car, tied at my ankles, and kicked out in the middle of nowhere, and left to rot with the rocks as my only friends. It would be great. I would have rock parties with my best rock friends named Rock-a-fella and Rocky. Just great...

"Pete, open up. Come on!" I pounded on the beach door, my knuckles cracking into the wood. I ran all the way here, with my stinkin equipment bag that could fit me and another half of a person inside, the least you could do was just listen to what I had to say! "I need to talk to you."

An eye appeared through the space where the door opened a crack. Okay, an eye was a start. At least it wasn't a foot. Okay next step would be a face.

"What do you want meanie?" Pete's voice snapped through the crack.

"I want to apologize."

You know it was really hard to say sorry when the person receiving the apology was hiding behind a door, and you were only talking to an eye. What if it was someone else's eye? I mean, for all I knew, it could be an eye of a very important executive of toilet seats who liked to pretend his name was Pete on his free time when he wasn't doing his business. (Sorry I had to say it!)

"Fine, start talking." Pete opened the door so my secret dream of meeting the famous toilet executive got "flushed down the toilet" (again had to say it). Pete was wearing his usually attire of a tucked in shirt, jeans that were pulled up way to high and his giant glasses. Oh Pete, I missed you!

"I am so sorry. I know that it's probably too late..."

"Uh-huh."

"...but I feel terrible, more than terrible. I feel like the biggest snot nose, dumb faced idiot that is walking the Earth at this very moment. I wish I could take every word, every breath of wrath away like I never even spoke them. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, and I didn't come here for that. I just want to...apologize. For everything that I did or didn't do."

My breath was choppy and my lungs were going to collapse soon if I didn't stop talking. But I couldn't stop. It was impossible. Just as impossible as it was to live under the sea with the fish and become the fishy Queen in the land of fish-sticks. I guess this proves I have a conscious. I was beginning to think that mine ran away to elope with my stupidity when I became popular. It's good to have you back, buddy.

"What about your boyfriend?" Pete's eyebrows arched so high I thought they would fly off his face. "What about all your new popular friends?"

"He's gone. They are gone." I smiled. "Long gone."

Pete leaned on the beach door where the water splashed against the knob, where the sound of the ocean banged at the peeling paint, where sand melted in between any cracks that formed. I breathed in the crisp air.

"Of course I forgive you silly." Pete chuckled as I wrapped my arms around him, his glasses pressed against me, as my baseball bag swung on my binding arm, kicking at the back of my knees. Silly, a silly hug.

"You're squishing me!" Pete gasped in chokes of breath.

"Oh, sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. Not anymore."

I told Pete all about what happened with Zak. The phone call and everything. I even told him how I stood up to my dad for once, and how I almost collapsed running to his house. How I read his letter over and over again. Keeping it in my pocket, showing him. I told him everything because there were no secrets anymore. I guess I found the right path Mrs. Riley.

"Oh, one more thing..." I was still standing at Pete's door.

"Whatever you want." Pete smiled.

"Um...can I use your phone before I leave for the game..." I asked as I just remembered I chucked my dad's "emergency" cell phone in the backyard somewhere. I'll find it eventually.

Before I could even finish my sentence Pete sprinted into his house, the beach door swinging from his wind, dancing like the house. My stomach felt like it let go of knots it held, tension it held, for the past weeks, the past days. But as soon as Pete came back, fumbling with a cordless phone, my stomach tightened again. Sucking it in.

"Why do you need the phone?" Pete handed the phone over, my hands cupping it, latching on to it like I had never held a phone before. "I need to make a call, a call that should have been made a while ago."

Pete just shrugged as I pressed my fingertips to the numbers, holding my breath. I shoved the phone to my ear and listened to the dial tone, beeping with the pulse of my heart, the pulse of my body.

"Hello, you have reached Kathy's phone, yeah I know, how cool is that? Yeah anyway, you have reached me, and I guess you should leave a message of some sort. That would actually be nice. And somewhere put a name, and maybe if you are feeling up to it, a number. It doesn't necessarily have to be yours, or maybe it should. Does anyone know when this machine is supposed cut you off? I guess I should have..."

Great a message. Just what I needed, an explanation with no response.

"Hey, Kathy. It's Ryan. I know you are there. You always answer your phone no matter what, so either someone kidnapped your phone or you're listening right now. I hope it's the second one, because I hate talking to myself..."

I paused taking a deep breath waiting for someone, anyone to pick up. Even a response from the phone-napper would have been enough to make me happy. Pete just stared at me, watching the frustration steam out of my pours like a sprinkler in a water park.

"Okay, I'll talk to myself. I just want to say sorry. Sorry for ditching you, for being a stuck up snob, for actually becoming a person that I would have spit at if I saw them walking down the street, flipping their perfect hair around, pretending they are the queen of the universe...by the way if you'd like to pick up and stop me at anytime, that would be great!"

Another breath.

"No, fine I just wanted to say sorry and..."

"...and say Kathy better be in a forgiving mood."

"Kathy!" I jumped so hard that I almost tripped. "I'm sorry, so sorry."

Pete's eyes jolted out of their sockets trying to over hear the conversation. sMy hands gripped the phone even harder, as I found the edge of Pete's stoop and sat on it next to Pete.

"I'm sorry too." Kathy's voice cracked.

"For what, you didn't do anything!"

"I'm sorry for pushing to be something you're not. I knew what the popular kids were and how they acted and I let you become one of them. No, even worse, I personally create you into a clone of them."

"It was my choice too..." I started.

"I should have told you this before, before any of this mess happened..." Kathy interrupted. "Ryan you are absolutely great the way you are. You probably know this already, but I just wanted to let you know, just to be yourself, because that's the Ryan I know, and that's the Ryan everyone loves."

My hand that was attached to the phone wobbled almost making it fall to the cement and break into millions of tiny phone pieces. Kathy always knew what I had just realized. That I didn't need to pretend to be something else. I was perfect the way I was. Anyway, pretending always winds up getting you in trouble. Just be glad there was no law for pretending you were a Pop because I definitely would be in jail by now.

"Friends?" My voice was barely audible.

"No."

"What?" I sucked in air. "After everything we just said..."

"Ryan, relax. Let me finish." I could tell Kathy was smiling on the other end.

"Proceed."

"We're best friends." Kathy started laughing. "Duh!"

I snuggled the phone against my burning cheek, trying to not let the phone escape out of my hand that was now shaking more than the guy who had the brilliant idea of holding the record of most coffee consumed in the span of an hour. Let's just say the guy couldn't sit still for a whole month.

"So, are you going to my game?" I started.

"You're not going to the dance? What about Zak?"

Everyone just loved asking questions today...

"I broke up with Zak. Long story"

"What?" Kathy's voice went up in surprise.

"I'll tell you about it later. I have to get to the game before it ends. It started an hour ago. Meet me there." My voice blurred together from the speed the words were coming out. The game couldn't end without me being there! Someone better stop it! Do something! Here I'll give you an idea, run in the middle of the field and scream fire! That will buy me a good ten minutes. Creating chaos is always the best solution.

"But what..."

"I got to go. See you soon."

I clicked the phone off and handed it to Pete who was still staring at me like I just transformed into a talking banana who has big cartoon eyeballs. I jumped off the stoop and grabbed my bag off the cement, dragging it to the end of Pete's driveway, making my way to the direction of the baseball field.

"Aren't you coming?" I turned my back to Pete whose face lit up as if there was a switch connected to a lamp in his head. He shot towards my side, and we walked together to the field. All of us together. Me, Pete, and my baseball bag.

Chapter 28: Let her Play

The tall grass seemed to suck both Pete and I into a vortex of thick wilderness that never ended. My bag dragged behind us creating a path of padded grass that swirled in the circles that we had been walking in. I really wished that a hungry giant cow would just eat all the grass that led to the baseball field. Sucking stalks into its mouth as if it was a milkshake from Mickey D's. A grass shake.

My knees were about to give up, one more step and I think they would have snapped off as easily as a Barbie limb. Hey, is it my fault if Barbie wasn't up to my playing standards. I mean, okay, so maybe I threw my Barbie at the wall at little too many times, and maybe I let my snapping turtle have some fun with Barbie and her friends. There should be an action Barbie, or indestruct-o Barbie! I would personally be the first buyer and strap a rocket to the collar of indestruct-o Barbie's dress watching her slam into a brick wall.

"I think I see an opening." Pete suddenly squeaked through gasps of breath.

"Thank goodness for that!" I was beginning to think this grass maze would never end. Someone please mutate your nearest farm animal and escort them to the premises immediately! This is not a drill, I repeat, not a drill!

Pete and I sprouted from the tall grass, to the field. The field that had bleachers full of parents. Full of spectators. The field that had dust sweeping across sprinkling in eyes, splashing in the wind. The field that had my team on it. My team.

"Hey wait for me!" Pete coughed, but I was already gone. Halfway to the field. Halfway to the dirt, and grass that always stuck to your pants. Halfway to the adrenaline rush that pumped in your veins after a diving catch, or a hit that got slammed out over players head. Halfway to what mattered.

I ran into the dugout that my team was slouched in, sliding my bag under the bench that all eight guys on my baseball team were sitting on getting ready to bat. Faces broke out into anger, fists shook, and legs kicked the nearest solid object. So, this is what I get as a welcome back! Where's the parade, the piñatas? Hello, does anyone know how to throw a party around here!

"What are you doing here? Get out!" Dan's voice broke through the noise of the crowd, the noise of the players, and any noise that was in the whole city! Dan didn't need a loud speaker, his voice was painfully loud without any help! Good job Dan, you just woke up the yeti that lives in my basement with your loud voice and he's not happy. Great, he eats when he's angry. Does anyone know what yeti's like to eat?

I didn't move.

My body was still as if glued in one position, even the slightest twitch was impossible. I was a statue, a guard sworn to not move if it was the last thing he'd do. I was strong, and I was not backing down.

"Didn't you hear me? You don't belong here!" Dan's face broke into wrinkles as he sprung on his feet. Hands hammered into fists, lip trembling, even the sand that was caked on Dan's cleats seemed to angrily scrape against the cemented pavement of the dugout. Houston we have a problem, sensing an explosion! Houston, did you hear me, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

"I heard every word." My lips barely moved for fear that they might fall off.

"You better leave." Dan nearly screamed as he looked to the other guys on the team for back up, for support, for reassurance. "Leave if you know what's best!"

The guys just looked down at the sand, probably hoping that it would wrap around Dan and suck him in, so that he disappeared to the magical land of rejected lollipop flavors. They dance, they sing, but eat them, and you'll never want to taste another lollipop in your entire life.

Dan turned his back that was decorated with mud streaks and grass stains, and faded team name. His faced pinched in even more and looked as if it would swell up into a huge melon head if he wasn't careful. "Tell her guys! Tell her to leave, COME ON!"

All the guys kept their heads bent, and mouths shut. For once Dan's confidence was broken, cracked at edges, cuts that shredded his outer layer of protection. He needed someone to reassure him, to tell him he was right, to back him up. Without that support of guys, Dan would fall. Fall hard down on his knees, and bleed.

"No."

Dan whipped his head over to me, but my mouth was shut.

"No, I will not tell her to leave."

Alex stood up from the far side of the bench, his eyes solid blue that felt like ice just washed over your whole body. He swept his feet across the cement so that dust swished beneath his cleats, swirling into the air and around him as if he were controlling its path. A smile broke my no movement policy, and my body started to shake inside and out.

Finally, there's the Alex I know.

"Sit back down." Dan spat but though his protection was crumbling like muffin bits. His eyes showing all the fear that was leaking out of him like sweat sneaking out your pours. "Go sit!"

"NO! We need her!" Alex moved towards me, to my side, standing up for me. After everything he was still standing up for me. "Do you see the score? We've been down the whole game, the whole season. Stop yelling, stop putting everyone down, making them feel like they should join you or else their off the team! You're the one who should leave, now!"

Alex's side was touching mine, his hand on my shoulder, gripping my shirt loosely between his fingers. He turned slightly away from me to face the team. Looking everyone in their eyes. "We need her, the team needs her. I need her!"

"Oh, give me a break! If you need her, why don't you two get married or something? You both should get out of here, and get married..." Dan spat waiting for his back up that he thought was still there. He waited for laughter, for comments, anything. He waited in the caked silence.

"Alex is right!" Josh stood up clutching his finger with an ice pack.

"Yeah, we need Ryan!"

"Come on! Let's get back in this game!"

"Dan should leave!"

All the players on the team stood up, and started shouting in agreement but this time not for Dan, no not for him at all. Dust was flying into the air, and creating a whirlwind of twirling particles from the ground and cleats. Dan's face was completely broken, his shield had fallen apart. His only source of power fizzling into the air along with the dust and sand. His fist shook, and anger pulsed in his body, beating through veins, all the way to his fingertips.

"BATTER UP!" The umpire screamed deeply from under his mask.

"Fine, you guys can lose without me!" Dan snapped through clenched teeth ignoring the umpire's command. He stomped through the sand where the helmets laid in a straight pattern, and slammed his foot into one, kicking it with so much force that it pounded into the chained fence. A rattle sound vibrated throughout the whole park. The helmet bounced to the cement and rolled into the lined bats near the entrance to the dugout. The bats fell, one at a time, clinging to the ground in defeat. "You guys suck!"

The coach was watching all of this play out from third base, his eyes wide open as his jaw fell latched out of place and dropped into the sand. The umpire tuned in, and all the parents stopped chatting to their friends. Even the other team faced our dugout from their positions on the field. What? Did I have something on my face? I knew I shouldn't have had cake for breakfast. It wasn't not my fault cake was evil and has the weird need to stick to my face like a magnet.

The coach suddenly woke up from his glued eyed trance and ran all the way to our dugout that now had an eerie chill smothering the air like an igloo with air conditioning. Coach's eyes were to their usually skull grey color, his stare stinging as he huffed his way towards us.

"What is going on here? We are playing a game. A baseball game just to clear it up for anyone who forgot! Never in my life I have been more embarrassed..." The Coach's face was darker than Dan's had been. His eyes were lasers as he spotted me. "Ryan when the heck did you get here? And where were you last game? You better have a good excuse..."

"BATTER UP!" The umpire snatched his protective mask off his face, and pouted his lips so they looked they were injected with marshmallows. "Coach, get one of your players in this batter's box or risk forfeiting."

"One of you, get out on the field now!" Coach pointed with a shaking finger to the empty batter's box that had scuffed marks around it, and small ditches dug by cleats trying to fix their stance.

"Ryan should play," Alex spoke staring back into Coach's grey eyes.

"Absolutely not..."

"We're only down by one run, it's the last inning, and there are already two outs!" Alex pointed to the scoreboard that was lit up behind the outfield. The dots glowed an eight under our team's name, and a nine under the other team. "Ryan should bat!"

"If you think I'm going to put in a player who hasn't been at the last few games and practices, you must be joking. There is no way I'm letting her play!" Coach crossed arms over his wide chest that pumped up in down in heaves. His face bubbled up as if a toxic potion made by witches boiled over on his skin.

"Let her play!" Alex shouted this time raising his fist in the air.

"Yeah let her play!" The guys on the team joined Alex in chanting. They stood up on the bench in the dugout, jumping on the silver metal, banging on the chain fence, pounding their fists in the air, spit flying and landing in sand, making personal mud circles. "LET HER PLAY!"

"Let her play!"

My head shot suddenly to the audience of parents that were on their feet, out of their lawn chairs, off the bleachers, shouting with all the guys on the team, shouting together like a spit producing, fist pounding, screaming family. We should have these reunions more often.

I suddenly spotted Kathy in the sea of chanting, jumping into the air, screaming her high pitch squeal next to Pete who looked like he had to go the bathroom from the way his face squeezed together. Kathy made it! She was here!

"Yeah, let my little girl play!"

My heart stopped in place, and twisted in its cage while my eyes scrambled in the crowd of shouting parents. My ears burned and sucked into my throat that decided to close and throb at the same time. I couldn't believe it.

"Dad?" My voice squeaked and floated out like twirling sand. "Mom?"

My Dad stood in the middle of the bleacher section, his voice blended in with all the other shouting parents. His hand around Mom who leaned on Dad's shoulder chanting into his sleeve. He caught my eye and smiled as I felt the relief of acceptance wash over me.

"ALRIGHT!"

Coach screamed over the chanting of the whole park. Even the players on the other team that had joined, stopped throwing their mitts into the air, and grabbed their caps that lay lifeless on the ground. The shouts simmered down to whispers and stares, crossing of knuckles ready to start in another chorus of singing if they had to.

"Ryan, you're up to bat!" Coach smacked his face in his own disbelief. "Happy now? Is every single person on this field happy now?"

"You can do it, Ryan!" Alex nudged my shoulder pushing me towards the bats as the crowd cheered at what their singing had accomplished. When you want your way just started to sing and chant. It always works.

My hands shook as I picked up a bat and squeezed against the opening in the dugout that was blocked mostly by Coach's body. He grunted in annoyance as I tried to hide my smile from getting my way.

"Yeah Ryan!"

"You go girl!"

"Hit it out of the park!"

The shouts were starting up again. People who I didn't even know were screaming, cheering for me to win the game for them, for their kids. Pete whistled through his nose calling out nicknames that I really preferred he would have kept to himself. I mean being called buttercup and gumdrop when nobody was around was one thing but in front of everyone...that was when you draw the line. A very thick, dark line.

My knees clicked together as my bat dragged a path behind me. My breath came out in stitches while my chest felt like it would collapse at any minute. Come on, pull yourself together, Ryan!

I took a deep breath.

You can do this! Yeah. It will be easy. So easy that the ball will just run away from my bat, so scared to even go near it that it will roll all the way down the nearest gutter, and sit in the swampy water forever. Yeah, you can do this! Okay, ball get ready to meet your worst nightmare...me!

"BATTER UP!" The umpire grunted for the third time in the last five minutes.

My mouth felt like chalk as my legs wobbled inside the batter's box.

I can do this, I will do this!

I looked at the pitcher, his eyes squinted in the sun, ball gripped in his hand, hidden in a glove. Above his head the scoreboard lit up. Eight to nine, two outs, 9th inning. The pitcher's hair matted from caked sweat, cheeks a burnt red, eyes narrowing again. Score eight to nine. Two outs. Last inning. Last chance...

The ball whipped at me from the mound. I swung the bat across my shoulders, breaking through the air as the ball contacted with the metal, clinging to the bat for a second. And just like in the movies the ball slowed down as the background became silent. The only noise I could hear was my breath coming out in a steady rhythm.

Suddenly all movement came back, and the volume of noise blasted in my ears. My arms were sturdy again, my breath strong, my mind clear. And just as if the ball had a mini rocket attached to the seams, it flew above the outfielder's heads, and bounced near the edge of the tall grass.

"MOVE IT RYAN!"

Shouts rang through the crowd as my glanced turned from the ball rolling towards the tall grass to the direction of first base. My cleats dug into sand and mud as my legs pounded the ground, slamming into rocks, fighting my way to first base, and making the turn almost too fast so that I almost tripped on the second baseman as I ran past to second. My heart pumped through my whole body, lungs in trapped in a pool of lava, scorching lava.

My legs turned to face third base, rampaging to the base, not giving up. Not giving up this run, this game, not giving up what I worked for. I let my breath escape out of me in wild gasps as my cleat reached third base and stepped on it along of the foot of the baseman who was calling for the ball that flew behind me, chasing me, playing tag. You want to play tag, well let's play.

Home plate was there. It was right there in front of my face, and on top of it was the catcher whose eyes stared me down like a target. He bent his knees deeper, trying to stop what couldn't be stopped. His legs shook and his face disappeared under his mask. The ball shot to his mitt, but I wasn't going to lose this race. I wasn't going to lose for everyone. For my dad, for Alex, Kathy, Pete. I wasn't going to lose for myself.

I slide on my side, the dirt clotting in my hair, sticking to my pants, melted in between the wedges of my cleats. The catcher already holding his mitt, ready to meet me. I slammed my pointed foot into the catcher's knee, reaching past him for the plate. Dust rising around us, enclosing in on us, forcing me to close my eyes and hold my breath.

As the dust faded I opened my eyes, waiting for the cheers that would explode, waiting for my team to grab me off from the dirt and swing me on their shoulders, waiting for a the least a pat on the back.

But the crowd was silent. No cheering, no laughing, not even a, boo you suck. I looked in front of me where my foot was pointed but instead of resting on home plate, my foot was stopped an inch in front. Stopped by the catcher's mitt that was still shaking, making my foot vibrate.

What just happened?

Chapter 29: Party of Four

"You're out!" The umpire grunted, stabbing a fat finger at my foot.

"NO!" My breath wheezed as my face collapsed like a sagging piece of paper. I climbed on my knees, stealing my foot back from with under the shaking mitt. I couldn't be out! There was no way in the world of five-day-old chewing gum that I was...

"OUT!" The umpire snorted through his mask.

My legs were numb, but I had to get up. I had to get out of here. Find a dumpster, find a hole in a tree, find somewhere to hide and never come out. Anyone have a brown paper bag? Just call me bag-head girl...

"WAIT!" Alex shouted from the dugout making everyone stop in there tracks. The kids in the field were still in their position, the catcher still shaking at home plate, while my legs froze by the entrance of the dugout ready to start collecting any paper bags I could find on my way to the dumpster. "The ball. It's not in the catcher's mitt!"

The catcher's face seemed to go green as he opened his mitt and clumps of dust seeped out the cracks. His eyes searched for the ball, his legs wobbled as he tried to hunch himself up to his feet only to thump to the ground and smacked on his stomach.

"It's behind you, it's by the fence, grab it!" Kids on the other team screamed at the top of their lungs, forcing words out all at once as the catcher turned towards a ball that looked more like a crumpled paper bag from all the mud.

Paper bag?

"RYAN TAG HOME PLATE!" My whole cheering section started to yell again, as my team shouted commands at me, banging on the fence, jumping on the bench, pounding their fist as if they were caged monkey's and I was the banana peeling at the edges.

My legs suddenly snapped together, and the numbness shot out of me. My body started to pound again, while I whipped myself around towards home plate that was unguarded, no protection, open for the taking. King me, baby!

I flung my whole body and flew into the air. Dust spread, cocooning me into a shell, as I charged the base. The catcher's hand snatched the ball, dirt coating his nails as we raced each other to home, to the mud smear plate, raced to the end of the game.

Wind whipped into my ears as I slide on my stomach, mud flying into my mouth swirling around with the saliva that was bursting out of it. I held my breath, taking one last gulp of muddy air, and closed my eyes hoping I landed on the base and not in some imaginary hole that was dug for the purpose of me falling into it.

"OUCH!" My breath poked out my mouth as a body flung itself on me, a very hard, and heavy body, by the way. Hey, dude, if you wanted to slam yourself on the ground, couldn't you have picked another spot? Maybe a place, where my body wasn't already occupying.

My eyes opened and I saw a foot laying inches away from my head, and a hand felt like it was grabbing my sock, trying to snatch it right off my skin. Cleats dug into my arm, scrapping red lines across so it looked like I was attacked by a mob of civilized tigers that liked to inflict pain on innocent kids.

I looked up past the dangling foot blocking my vision, and saw the reaction that I was expecting before. Parents were on their feet screaming, the guys on my team sprung off the bench and started to crowd the field, while the other team threw their hats off, slammed their mitts to the ground, and stomped off the field in disappointment.

"SAFE!" The umpire swung his arms across his chest, changing his previous call to the right one. He took his mask off and wiped his hand across his forehead that coated with liquid dirt and sweat. "THAT'S GAME!"

Alex sprinted to home plate and snatched me out of the clutches of the catcher who probably would have crushed my lungs, and many of my bones if he was on me any longer. The team swarmed the field with parents and the rest of the audience following behind. They flung me on their shoulders, parading around the field, swinging me in the air. The wind spreading out strands of hair as the mud loosely fell out onto some unfortunate person's face. Hey if you carry me it is at your own risk. So don't blame me if mud happens to stain your eye.

After circling the field more times than I could count on one hand, I was dropped off at home plate. Hey thanks for the ride guys, I hope you don't expect me to tip you though because all I have is dirt in my pockets. Actually you can have my dirt. Hey just line up here, and get some free dirt...

"Ryan." I snapped around as I tried rubbing dirt out of my eyes.

"Dad!" My voice cracked as my dad stepped closer to me getting his work shoes dirty, and scuffed up. "Why are you here?"

"I feel terrible." His face sunk, while his eyes shifted to his scuffed shoes. "I pressed an image on you of what I wanted you to be. What I thought you should be like. I should have never...I just wanted to..."

"Protect me?"

"Yeah, protect my little girl." My dad put a hand on my shoulder. I grabbed his hand and pulled it closer, into a tight hug that smothered my whole body.

"But Dad, you can't protect me all the time. I need to grow up." My words blurred under his long sleeved shirt. My hands gripped even tighter, snatching fabric between my knuckles. "I need to grow."

"Yeah, but not too fast, right." He pulled away so his eyes looked into mine.

"Not too fast." My hand snatched more fabric.

He suddenly pulled away and kissed me on the forehead where the dirt caked and started to dry. His eyes followed a line over my head, and he suddenly snatched an arm back, reflecting his watch in the sun. "I've got to get going. Mom and I will see you at home. Love you."

"Love you." I breathed as I heard footsteps shuffle near me. My parents disappeared on the other side of the dugout fence with most of the people who were at the game today. But before he went out of view, he twisted his body backwards and lips creased into a smile that soared all the way to me, finding a place in my heart, stitching up in a permanent mark.

The field was becoming emptier now. People were filing out, cans floated under bleachers, paper swirled in the grass, falling in a trap of weeds while it stretched, strangling to break out of the grass cage.

My head snapped at the sound of scuffling behind me. I turned around as my stomach knotted up. Alex sprinted towards me and swung his arms around my waist, pulling me tight to his body. I twisted my arms around his shoulders while my head found a resting spot on his chest.

"I'm sorry." His chest vibrated with the words.

I pulled out of the embrace and stared into his eyes. The dirt that covered half of his face and not the other, how mud caked under his lower lip, the sweat that dried in his hair making it stick up to the side.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. You didn't do anything. You just reacted. You just did what was right..."

"Ryan..."

"I know, I know. You probably never want to speak to me ever again. I wouldn't blame you either. I would have never spoken to me if I was you, although, that would be weird if I was you. Then who would you be...?"

"Ryan!"

"Okay, I'll just leave now. Leave so you don't have to endure my presence anymore. Maybe I'll just go find that dumpster, do you have a paper bag by any chance..."

"RYAN!" Alex's voice banged through his throat and into my ear. His hands still on my waist, gripped tighter. His eyes locked onto mine, a soft glare that stopped my breath from sucking in and out. "Shut up already."

Alex's hands ripped from my waist and gripped my face, holding it in place as his lips connected with mine. My heart stopped contracting, frozen in mid-beat, as my eyes folded over, creased tight against my skin. My hands lay loose against my sides, not knowing where they should go, what they should do.

His lips were soft, softer than I thought they would be. My breath still stuck in my throat, trying to wiggle out of my occupied my mouth. I opened my eyes, my lips twitching, coated with dried dirt.

Alex broke away. His hands instinctively ripped their hold on me and back to his side where they locked in a tight grip. His face crunched as if he just did something he didn't expect. Something that wasn't planned, that he didn't regret.

"What...what was that for?" The trapped breath that got stuck in my throat, wrangled out of my mouth in a choppy gasp. My cheeks burning in red fire, my fingers still dangling at my sides, swaying as if caught in the wind.

"What was what for?" Alex's face turned smug, relaxing at my surprised reaction and not I-am-going-to-smack-you-in-the-face-until-your-nose-bleeds one that he was anticipating. Smacking people in the head only means you like someone in nonexistentville, remember Alex?

"You know...that!" I touched my burning lips as my throat clenched mid-breath.

"Oh, that." Alex's words barely making out of his mouth as if he just remembered what that was. It is just like a boy to forget that he just laid his lips on another person. Does anyone pay attention anymore, or was it just me? Survey says, yep. just me. "I'm just...just...I'm glad your back."

"Oh." My voice slipped through burning lips.

"No...I just..." His words stuttered as his locked fingers started to shake, squirm in place of his clutched position. Alex never really liked to show his emotions, I could tell this was hard for him. "I just really..."

"Excuse me!"

My head twisted behind me, praying my face was not as red as it felt. Yeah, someone might want to find water, a hose. Steal liquid from the nearest swimming pool before my face burst into flames. "May I interrupt?"

My Jell-o like legs suddenly turned to a solid more stable dessert as they sprinted towards the dugout. The caked mud from my cleats left a trail of dirt crumbs from Alex to the metal dugout that almost came in contact with my big head. My arms swung around Kathy who was leaning against the metal. Her hair buried my face so it was hard to breath.

"Thank you so much for coming," my voice cracked as I pulled my head out of Kathy's man-eating hair follicles. I always knew my life would end suffocating under a sea of endless curly hair. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too!"

"Me three!" A voice screeched out from behind me, and an extra pair of hands stretched half around Kathy, and the other half around me. You know I would be creeped out by the fact that an unidentified pair of hands (UPH) were touching me, but what fun was it if you knew everything?

My eyes turned around to find Pete with big glasses, and pants higher than any pair of pants have gone before, smothering us in a huge embrace.

"Pete, you're crushing me!" I choked out, as the space between Kathy, Pete and I enclosed as if we we're in a booby trapped mansion and the walls were closing in on all four sides. "I can't breathe!"

"Sorry." Pete loosened his grip but still clung to us like static electricity.

"Okay everyone's sorry, can we go now?" Alex's voice carried from the same position where I left him. His face sagged a little, and his arms crossed at his chest that minutes before were supporting my head. I wonder what he was trying to tell me before...

"Come on Alex, join the party." Kathy murmured through a space she created between her shoulder and Pete's arm. "We miss you..."

"You all sicken me." His voice coated with sarcasm as he stifled a laugh.

"Don't leave all of us hanging." Kathy sprouted through the space again. "We will chase you down, and make you join the group if we have to."

"I can run pretty fast you know..." Alex snorted.

"Shut up, Alex, and join the group hug." I spoke through an arm leaving a drool stain. Okay whoever's arm was in my mouth, please feel free to remove, now! "We are waiting..."

"Fine!" Alex grunted jogging to our group hug between the entrance to the dugout and home plate. "If you insist..."

Alex's smile suddenly grew as he slammed into our huddle, between the small space next to me and Kathy, Pete still on the opposite side squeezing a little too hard. Arms flung themselves us but the blow that Alex created from literally charging into us like a bull created a domino effect and swung the whole group to the ground. Dirt flew up like smoke and coated us like sprinkles on a cake. Pete's face squished into home plate, while an arm smacked the back of my neck. Alex's body was on top of everyone like a discarded piece of mail that weighed about ninety pounds and laughed when the package crushed all the smaller piece of mail that were just as important.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist a dog pile!" Alex gasped between breaths.

"Can someone please remove their body off my hand, so I can personally pummel Alex to the ground?" I wheezed as laughter escape out of my dirt coated mouth. The group bounced up and down in giggles.

Alex quickly scattered off of the group, and held his stomach so it didn't explode from the laughter. "Well, I did say I was pretty fast didn't I..."

My legs quickly bounced out from under Pete's knee that was engraving an indent as if my leg was wood waiting to be carved. Alex skidded on the sand of the field as soon as he saw my body fling up as if a string was attached to my limbs and someone just tugged to get me on my feet again.

"Catch me if you can..." Alex's voice got lost in a storm of dust.

"You won't want me to catch you," I shouted, laughter spilling out of my mouth as I sprinted into the dust storm. "If you know what's good for you..."

"Sound the hunting call." Kathy called from behind me, slipping into the dust storm after me, Pete not far behind. "We've got an Alex on the loose."

My lungs heaved out air, legs pounding against the grass leading to the field. Alex turned his head, around. His chest springing in and out, as his eyes took in the rest of his chasing his tail. My body whipping against the wind, feet from his, Kathy screaming farther away, waving her arms determined to tackle Alex to the ground the second she caught up with him. Then Pete. A dot swimming in the grass, his breathe huffed out of lungs, so that his glasses fogged up like in a hot shower.

"GUYS, WAIT FOR ME!" Pete's voice a whisper from the distance.

Alex's head, still turned towards the stampede following, focused on me. His eyes hooked onto mine, shooting through my body, almost making me trip over the weeds that started to grow thicker. The grass started to grow the faster we ran. My hand suddenly snapped to my lips, feeling the smeared dirt. The burning kiss. Where did that even come from? What was he trying to tell me?

Alex's eyes broke off mine, and his body vanished into the tall grass. My body following, dragging in the green sea. Kathy shouting her threats through gasps of breathes. And Pete, running as if in slow motion, a bobbing head, with glasses dangling at the tip of his nose, his knee high socks sticking to his skin, as his voice sang out through the whole field...

"Meanies!"

About the Author

Tori Skies started the journey of Ryan when she was only in middle school herself. Finally after years of perfecting she is ready to share Ryan and her story with the rest of the world. Tori resides near Chicago and writes along side her furry friend Lincoln, who still is working on his writing skills. One day he will learn.

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