

### Spirit Relationships:

### The Loving Use of Mediumship

### By

### Jesus (AJ Miller) &

### Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck)

### Session 2

### Published by

### Divine Truth, Australia at Smashwords

http://www.divinetruth.com/

Copyright 2014 Divine Truth

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed. If you enjoyed this book, please return to Smashwords.com to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

### This ebook is a transcript of a seminar delivered by Jesus (AJ Miller) and Mary Magdalene (Mary Luck) on 12th April 2012 in Kyabra, New South Wales, Australia. In this seminar Jesus and Mary discuss the regular mediumship meetings that occur at Kyabra, and how to conduct the meetings in a more loving manner.

### Reminder From Jesus & Mary

### Jesus and Mary would like to remind you that any document produced by Divine Truth containing any information from Jesus, Mary or any other person includes only a portion of God's Truth that they have personally discovered.

### It does not and cannot contain the entire of God's Truth since God's Truth is infinite and humankind will forever continue to discover more of God's Truth as we progress in receiving more of God's Love.

### Please remember that due to these limitations information contained within this document may need to be revised in the future.

### Many other ebooks have been published by Divine Truth, including ebooks translated into a variety of different languages.

### Please visit <http://www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth> or www.divinetruth.com for further information.

### Additional sessions on the subject in this book can be found on www.Smashwords.com/profile/view/DivineTruth

### For more information go to:

Divine Truth (www.divinetruth.com)

Divine Truth Channel on YouTube (www.youtube.com/user/WizardShak)

Divine Truth FAQ Channel on YouTube (www.youtube.com/user/divinetruthfaq)

Table of Contents

### The Loving Use of Mediumship: Session 2 Part 1

1. Discussion about the regular mediumship sessions in Kyabra

1.1. Spirits attracted to the mediumship sessions

1.2. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions

1.3. An illustration of agreeing with spirits' emotional injuries

1.4. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions (continued)

1.5. An illustration of the lack of humility and gender inequality at the sessions

1.6. An example of a loving medium

1.7. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions (continued)

1.8. An example of a participant feeling pressured at the sessions

1.9. An illustration of the sessions becoming formulaic

1.10. An illustration of not loving the spirits

1.11. Mediumship performed alone versus in a group setting

1.12. Effectively assisting spirits

1.13. The purpose of the mediumship team

1.14. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions

1.14.1. The feedback from Peter's Celestial guide, Angelo

1.14.2. Other Celestial spirits' feedback

1.15. An example of feeling heavy at the sessions

1.16. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

1.17. An example of Mary stopping mediumship when emotionally challenged

1.18. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

1.18.1. Examples of self-righteous behaviour

1.18.2. Examples of condescension towards spirits

1.19. Commiserating vs. having compassion for the spirits

1.20. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

1.20.1. Examples of arrogance

### The Loving Use of Mediumship: Session 2 Part 2

2. Discussion about the regular mediumship sessions in Kyabra

2.1. Examples of arrogance (continued)

2.1.1. An example of analysing others' emotions

2.2. Self-reflection during mediumship

2.3. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

2.3.1. Selfishness during mediumship

2.3.2. Lack of gratitude for truth and love

2.3.3. A desire to dismiss attacking or angry spirits

2.3.4. Using mediumship to correct others rather than helping people correct themselves

2.3.5. Selfishness during mediumship (continued)

2.4. An example of using mediumship to gain information about others and avoid emotions

2.4.1. Refining mediumship by stopping addictions and becoming more humble

2.5. Focusing on a relationship with God first to refine mediumship

2.6. Common emotions in women at the mediumship sessions

3. Common emotional injuries in homosexual people

4. Closing words

4.1. Developing faith in the ability to change

4.2. Developing love for others

4.3. Becoming perfect as God created us to be

### The Loving Use of Mediumship: Session 2 Part 1

How is everybody? We realise that this is normally a mediumship evening, and we will be discussing mediumship tonight for the entire evening. Mary and I have spent a little bit of time talking to our spirit friends about what's going on here with your mediumship group, but first we'd like to have a bit of a discussion with you.

1. Discussion about the regular mediumship sessions in Kyabra

Mary: We'd like to hear from you about how you feel it's going and what you feel about the group.

1.1. Spirits attracted to the mediumship sessions

Firstly, what do you feel are the common attractions that you have with the spirits who are coming to the mediumship meetings? Have you given that much thought? If you take Angelo out of the equation, what are the common types of spirits coming to speak with you?

Participant: Spirits who are Earth-bound.

All the spirits are Earth-bound, that's a common thing?

Participant: A majority of them.

Good, anyone else?

Participant: A lot of them are angry. Angry women.

A lot of them are angry women.

Participant: A lot of them want to help people. Something happened to them on Earth and they want to help others not experience what they've experienced.

Could you say then that a lot of them are wounded women who are trying to help other women on Earth not experience the same things that they have experienced?

Participant: Yeah. There are some men as well who are wounded doing the same things. But generally the women are in a massive rage and just want women to continue with that.

Right, and what are the men like?

Participant: There are not so many men, but we had some fishermen come in the other day; they don't associate with women.

Can you see that there is a separation between the men and the women? Do you also notice that happening in your group?

Participants: Yes.

The other day Mary had the book study group and you could almost draw a line down the middle. On one side were the men and on the other side were the women.

Participant: With the male spirits it seems it's not so much to protect people, whereas the women are like, "I've got to guard the other women against this horrible thing." The men are kind of looking for approval, looking to re-establish their status.

So they're a bit more needy for approval.

Participant: Yeah.

And do the men in the group see a similarity there? [00:06:58.19]

Participant: Yes.

1.2. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions

What else? Anything else that you've noticed?

Participant: We are often attracting spirits who have a common thread of the Law of Attraction with our own injuries.

That's a good thing to observe.

Participant: I just want to say that I'm really sad because I really like it and I would be very sad if it is criticised. I get a lot out of it. I just have different opinions than you.

We will talk about this. I'm not saying that it's going to stop, by the way.

Mary: Rita, the purpose of our discussion is not to criticise the group at all. It's to help you guys deepen your understanding of mediumship, to deepen your own self-reflection, and to develop sincere desires surrounding service and love of one another.

Yeah, but what you're also expressing, and I want to ask everyone about this, is how your addictions are being met by the mediumship night. If the mediumship night were taken away from you, how would many of you feel? Have you thought about that? What are the feelings?

Participant: I'd feel disappointed, but I was more wanting to comment on an observation. There seem to be some addictions at play particularly around wanting personal information, which I'm guilty of, particularly from Angelo.

When you say you want personal information, it's sort of like, "Feed me with what I need to work on, tell me what's wrong with my life," and all that kind of stuff?

Participant: Yes, and at times we're seemingly unaware until Peter points it out, that the room gets very heavy at times if we're not owning our stuff.

So there's almost an avoidance of your own emotion while the mediumship is actually happening?

Participant: Yeah. I'd say that's a key point actually.

Mary: How do you feel your attitude is towards the spirits who come? What is the general feeling amongst the group towards the spirits and towards each other while the group's happening?

Participant: I don't really feel there's much of a genuine desire to serve the spirits, to be honest.

When you say there's not much of a genuine desire to serve them, let's be more specific. What is the feeling that you have when they come? When some of these women come, how many of you agree with them? Have you noticed?

Participant: I'm frightened of them.

You're frightened of them, yeah. When you're afraid, can you love? No. That's obvious. But one thing I've noticed is that many of you agree with them, to be frank. [00:10:50.20]

Mary: Sometimes it's tempting to say we are loving them, but we're avoiding the truth with them, and that means we're not loving them, we just want to commiserate with them. When we have true love for people we will serve them by telling them the truth. That's going to assist them the most. If you reflect about when women spirits come, how firm are you for truth with those spirits?

I don't want to discuss those things yet.

Mary: Okay, sorry.

Sorry, it's just that our spirit friends have a lot of things they want to discuss with you, and Mary started to discuss one of them, but I would like to know more from you guys first. Don't be afraid to say exactly what you think. We're not here to criticise anything, but we do want to get things into harmony with love and we want to explain to you how our spirit friends feel about what's going on. Firstly, what do you feel is going on? Please feel free to say just exactly what you feel.

Participant: Apart from Pete, who channels Angelo and Tig, I feel that none of us feels a level of self-worth to channel any spirit above the Earth-bound. There's almost like this heavy blanket, that we all feel unworthy to channel a high spirit.

When Angelo is channelled by Pete, what do you feel then? Have you noticed what you feel?

Participant: Needy, needy, give me, give me.

Okay, that's very good. That's something I do notice, yeah.

Participant: I've noticed lots of fear about Earth changes. A lot of people want to ask, What can we do to avoid any problems in Earth changes?

Peter: I notice for myself that people connect me with Angelo and think that I'm Angelo sometimes.

They get mixed up with who's Peter and who's Angelo. What's the result of that, Pete?

Peter: Well, they seem to think that I know all these things that are going on and I'm doing all this, but I don't have a clue who their parents or their grandmothers are.

So there's sort of an expectation upon you to get information from you.

Peter: Well, more of an expectation that I know all this stuff personally within my soul.

When you don't.

Peter: I don't have a clue.

No worries.

1.3. An illustration of agreeing with spirits' emotional injuries

Participant: There are two things. First of all, when you talk about agreeing with the angry women spirits, what did you mean by that?

When a wounded woman comes along to the group, many of the wounds of that particular woman are very similar to the wounds in many of the women in the group. There is almost this tacit agreement with her fear of dealing with the issue in the group. When a wounded man comes along to the group, there are many men in the group with exactly the same wounds. You have a tacit agreement with the man that he has the right to have that wound, and you do not share truth with the person in whom the wound is causing damage. It's something to consider both for the men and the women in the group, not just for the women. [00:14:52.24]

Participant: So it's not necessarily anything verbalised.

Well, many times you do verbalise it, in different things I've heard recorded. Many times you're trying to convince the spirit to change when you yourself want to hold on to exactly the same thing the spirit wants to hold on to. Can you see how that's not going to be very effective in the long run in terms of helping that spirit?

Mary: Especially if you don't acknowledge that that's the truth.

Yeah.

1.4. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions (continued)

Participant: The second thing, probably not quite so much lately, I notice that Peter tends to be put up on a pedestal, particularly by the women.

Participant: Let's say there's a woman spirit up there, and she's in this story. I feel frustrated about how long her story is going to keep going, and I don't feel any love because I'm frustrated about the topic.

You're hearing the story rather than dealing with the emotions that the spirit has.

Participant: Because I get to this point when it's not the spirit anymore, it's someone wanting glory. But then I also feel it happen with the opposite sex as well. I even get frustrated when a man's getting channelled because I feel like, okay, so the start was getting there, now they've dropped out, now it's the person and there's this story going on again.

Participant: I'm just going to put myself out there; admittedly I've got a lot of injuries towards men. I do feel there's a bit of adulation towards Peter, but I also feel that there's very strong banding with the men and he tries to be very encouraging of the men to do channelling, particularly when they're in an injury where you can actually see they're not channelling from a pure space.

So they're starting to become needy for approval, attention, glory?

Participant: Yeah.

1.5. An illustration of the lack of humility and gender inequality at the sessions

Participant: I've been doing a bit of personal channelling with a friend of mine as a guide, which I won't discuss with anyone normally because the few times that I have, people have responded with, "Well, you can't possibly be doing that." I had another woman come to the group but she was shut down and she won't come now. That's okay, but it doesn't seem to be quite the same with the men, the men are allowed to go on and on.

You feel that there is some disharmony in terms of equality between how Peter...

Participant: Yeah. I don't know anything about Peter personally, but I feel that he possibly went to an all boys school, so he doesn't know how to relate to women, and he's scared of women so he's used to banding together as one of the boys or something. I don't know so I'm quite open to being injured.

You're very accurate about some of the sentiment there. (Laughter) And Peter you're free to comment if you wish to.

Participant: Yeah, I agree with some of that, but I also feel sometimes it's almost like there's a show, it's entertainment and Peter's on the stage with a microphone, and maybe he feels a little bit pressured to keep things going as master of ceremonies. He always gets to choose who's to come up and so on and...

When you say "he," I feel you are getting very mixed up about who's choosing. The reality is that Angelo's choosing.

Participant: Ah, yes, okay, sorry, but I do feel that sometimes it's a little bit like a show and maybe he's feeling pressure to keep the night rolling.

Can you see what's starting to happen now?

Participant: We're starting to criticise and...

There is one major thing you're starting to do now, what is it?

Participant: Attack.

No, just think about it a little. What are you doing? What are the core principles of the Divine Love Path?

Participant: Not owning.

But what's the first door that needs to be opened?

Participants: Humility.

Humility, right. What is humility? Does anyone want to comment on what humility is?What do you feel?

Participant: Humility is to be able to feel all your own stuff, all your own emotions.

Okay, so humility is about self-examination, is it not? Can you see that there is a big problem with the group, to be frank - a lack of self-examination? There's a lot of finger-pointing with your mediumship. And it's interesting that Peter, who has a passion for mediumship and who is volunteering his time to do it... obviously he knows he's not going to do it perfectly, but you're already finger-pointing at Peter, saying, "Oh, he's not doing it how I want him to do it," and so forth. This is where you've got to be very careful. I feel we first need to examine ourselves, not Peter, do you understand? [00:21:30.26]

Peter needs to examine Peter; we need to examine ourselves for what emotions we feel about whatever Peter might do. I feel that the comment that there's a feeling of inequality is a valid comment. You can see when we have a group here that there is very often a separation between the men and the women. In fact in some groups we have there's almost a line you can draw down the middle, the men are on one side and the women are on the other side, so there is obviously a feeling of inequality between the men and the women. So that is a valid comment. But I feel when we start getting into "Peter doesn't do this" and "Peter doesn't do that," you are now starting to get away from self-examination.

Participant: Yes, absolutely, and it's also been Peter who's done all the writing of the spirits when people have come up to channel, and he's amazing at that. I'm just wondering if there's too much pressure on him to do all that because he's so good it at and if other people maybe...

1.6. An example of a loving medium

Can I be frank? I feel that there is no one else in the group who's in a condition where they could do it with any amount of love. While Peter may not do it perfectly, he is in a good condition to assist because he has a love for them.

Participant: Yes, he's fantastic.

He actually has a love for the spirits that are coming. He doesn't have any other primary emotions with them, although he is a bit afraid of the women spirits who come, and that is an emotion that we've talked about with Peter. As well, there is a tendency with the men spirits to not confront their true unhealed emotions because of a feeling that the women need to be confronted rather than the men. But the reality is, inside of Peter there is a large amount of love for the spirits and this is why he's doing it even though at times he himself is quite frightened.

Participant: He overcomes his fear. Love overcomes his fear when he's very frightened.

Yeah.

1.7. Dynamics within the mediumship sessions (continued)

Participant: I feel like there's been very little self-initiation in terms of actually engaging with spirits, like wanting to develop our mediumship by ourselves. I guess for myself there's a feeling of wanting it to be served up on a platter to us.

So everyone's sort of expecting Angelo to serve everything up.

Participant: And Peter with Angelo's help.

Participant: Isn't the Learning Centre a place to learn? For me, Peter's not perfect, no one is perfect in the group, we all have these projections and that's probably what you're addressing. We're here to learn because channelling or mediumship comes in different forms and shapes so...

Definitely, not just sitting down.

Participant: Yeah. I didn't think I was a channeller until Pete said that I'm doing it in music.

Yeah, when you're writing a song down you're channelling. [00:25:11.27]

Participant: Yeah, it just comes, I've written it in five minutes and I didn't know the song. But I was under the impression that it's a learning process.

Mary: As I was saying at the beginning, we're encouraging you all to reflect because that's a part of learning, and unless you're willing to self-reflect, you're always relying on someone else to deliver your learning.

Participant: I noticed sometimes when someone is channelling, say it's a really large group of very angry women, that the group will start to drop off, to go to sleep, or it's like there's this fear that comes at whoever's being channelled. Or if it's not a fear being projected at them from the group, then it's anger and, like, a bit of a put-down on the spirit who's just being honest.

Good.

Peter: Angelo always focuses me on the actual spirit. Often there are many blocks in the channelling, but as long as he's still able to connect with the spirit, that's the most important thing.

Okay.

Participant: Just two things. When I've been on stage, I'm not sure but I think I've felt judgement from those in the audience. If that's happening for me, then it's probably happening for others as well. But something else, too – it's been a fantastic place to learn. Like, some people who have thought that they couldn't channel end up on stage and away they go, and to me that's absolutely fantastic. Even for myself, the last couple of times I've been on stage it's helped to engender a bit more confidence that I'd lost for a while, and I think it's just a fantastic opportunity to learn.

We would hate to see the group stop, to be frank, but we do need to make sure that it gets more into harmony. Our spirit friends, your spirit friends actually, are concerned about the direction that the team is taking at the moment and they'd like to correct it. We certainly don't feel that we want it to cease, but there are growing addictions in yourselves as a group to the mediumship, and this is something that we also want to discuss with you – why these addictions are growing and what it helps you avoid. [00:28:46.24]

Participant: I'd like to know how better to help the spirits that are being channelled. I have a concern that perhaps we're not helping enough or that we're not doing it in the way that is most helpful to them. I don't really know how to do it, but I'm very keen to know more about channelling – just to how to help them more, you know.

Good. How many of you who have come to the team regularly have actually channelled privately, just for the purpose of helping the spirits only? In other words with no one around you, just by yourself in your own home, you've attempted to channel to help a spirit? So that's lovely, that's a positive thing, yes? That's very good, but how many of you feel a bit confused about how to help them?

Participant: I find the whole thing on stage really, really confronting. I went up once and it was so confronting for me just to be up there. I felt terrible about what I did because it was just so much about me. I went home and I was like, "That was really horrible." I tried to talk to Michael later and said "I just feel so bad, I didn't help you because I was just so uneasy about myself."

That's because you're so much in your own feelings of being on show. That's not a bad thing because in the end the more you practice in front of a group, the less you worry about the group and the more you just worry about connecting with the spirit and accurately relaying the spirit's information.

Participant: I feel a lot of pressure to do it a certain way, though. To have spirits channel straight through is quite hard for me. When I'm doing it at home I tend to go more on feelings. I feel like I have to kind of put on a show if get up there and I'm not ready to do that.

Mary: So you feel like you have to give them a voice rather than say, "What I feel from them now is this and it feels like..."

Having somebody else who might be able to hear the spirit confirming that information or not would help.

Participant: Yeah, I'm much more comfortable with that.

So you feel that a bit more open experimentation without formality would be beneficial?

Participant: I think so, yeah, that would be good.

1.8. An example of a participant feeling pressured at the sessions

Participant: Two things. First, I realise that I've recognised a real shift in humility in Pete. I've seen him channelling with such humility. It's really inspired me to be a lot more humble and to help them to the level that I can and then assist them to a higher spirit. I learn something every single time I go. There was one time that I was up there and it was projected from the audience that this particular spirit was my son. I did not feel it myself. I don't feel it is my son but it felt like even Angelo was suggesting that it was my son. People in the audience were saying, "I feel it's your son," and I was doubting myself – do I place trust in a Celestial and others who are more mediumistic than me? I was left in quite a state of distress. Pete did call me the next day and we chatted and then I just came to the realisation that I'm just going to keep trusting my own feeling regardless of what's happening in the room. I have to keep trusting my own feeling.

Would it be accurate to say then that you felt sort of pushed into accepting something that you personally don't feel you agreed to? [00:33:01.01]

Participant: All night I was crying, feeling my son. Then it felt like, wait a minute, this didn't come from me, it didn't come from my own realisation, it was put onto me. So I just had to dismiss it. I'll wait until I'm in a state when I feel that it's true for me and it bubbles up in my own soul that I have a son.

1.9. An illustration of the sessions becoming formulaic

Participant: I'm feeling that we're kind of getting stuck in a certain formula. You talk to the spirit and then the bright spirit comes down and then turns their brightness down. But I was just channelling on the way here and I was thinking, "Wouldn't a bright spirit know if it's too bright?"

Of course.

Participant: So something about that just felt a bit hokey.

Some of you are just trying to copy what I've done with spirits, not understanding that I can actually see what's going on, and that's why I do what I do. That's why what I do is very different with every spirit.

Participant: Yeah, anyway I just felt like there was a formula.

Yeah, and it's certainly no good creating a formula.

1.10. An illustration of not loving the spirits

Participant: I kind of realise that for a lot of the time it's like, "Ah, the fucking spirits are doing stuff to me again," and we're angry, hitting the spirits and they're hitting us, and then we rock up to mediumship and it's supposed to be all about loving them.

Exactly, so in your day-to-day life are you really loving them?

Participant: I'm not, no.

That's a very good observation. You can't manufacture love for them on one night and the rest of the time be in a rage with them. I agree with that, that's very good.

Participant: Put on a love face for mediumship.

Yeah, love face for mediumship.

1.11. Mediumship performed alone versus in a group setting

Participant: When I'm helping spirits at home and I'm by myself, I speak with emotion and passion in my own way that connects with them. But when I get on stage, it is like there is a formula because we're scared of the judgement of doing it in our own way.

There are a lot of reasons, not just that one.

Participant: Okay, but the spontaneous desire to help is lost the minute that I get on stage.

Yeah, plus there are a lot of personal addictions when you get in front of other people, and that does of course modify quite severely whether you're in tune with the spirit or not. If I'm feeling my personal addictions when I'm in front of other people, if I'm hearing the spirit but I'm not actually feeling him, then I could even be saying something that's completely opposite to what the spirit feels because I'm hooking into my own feelings. It is quite a complex thing to actually channel in front of people. It's great to experiment with it without too much judgement, I feel, but there does need to be correction of any unloving behaviour. This is where our Celestial spirit friends can assist through the process of talking through Angelo and saying, "Look, there is this part of it that's not in harmony with love," and so forth. [00:36:51.05]

Participant: What if someone in mediumship went up there and got paper and started drawing on the floor and started channelling, is that a way to experiment with your own mediumship?

Certainly, but then you'd question why you'd have to do that in front of a group. Obviously in front of a group the mediumship is probably going to take the form of feelings or thoughts or discussion, whereas in private mediumship it can take many different forms. It can take the form of poetry, music, art, expression of emotions through those mediums, all sorts of forms. But in a group, like where you get together, obviously it's about learning how to do it more than it is about doing it, because doing it can be done elsewhere.

Mary: It wouldn't be wrong to discuss different ways that you can connect to mediumship.

Participant: I couldn't do it like that – sitting there. I get this feeling that I get it by playing my guitar and something comes out of my mouth.

Exactly or writing a song and the song...

Participant: Or writing a song. So that's the way I would do it, but I'd like to know how I could learn more from the group.

Well this is where some of the principles of mediumship need to be taught rather than the mediumship itself.

Mary: Your experience could form a valuable theme to offer to the group in the form of a discussion – opening people to different ways that mediumship is used and is valuable...

... rather than being hung up on a certain type or method.

Mary: Also, experiment with your mediumship like, "When did it feel like I was really connected to my guides when I wrote that song? What was happening?" Those kinds of insights are very valuable to share with others as well. Peter, you mentioned something to me that Angelo had said about how he's working at the moment with spirits in the group because of certain conditions.

Peter: Our connection with the spirits gets lost very early on in the channelling, and then it's like if he (Angelo) can connect them to the bright spirit, that's as good as we can actually get it, and we might not be able to have any long discussion with them.

If the group has all of these emotions we have yet to release – angers, fears, terrors, grief, emotions towards men or women – and the spirits coming along have exactly the same groups of emotions that they have yet to release, then how can anybody here actually help the spirits? Really, all you can do is to ask for a bright spirit to come, introduce them to a bright spirit, and then hopefully the bright spirit can help them. [00:40:10.21]

1.12. Effectively assisting spirits

We need to get to the point where we can help them because we can aid these spirits quite markedly. But we have to be in a bit of a better condition to do it.

Participant: Are we able to be really effective in helping the spirits before we become at–one with God?

To effectively help a spirit you have to at least enter an engaged condition with the spirit. You have to at least understand them, not be condescending to them, not be angry with them, not be afraid of them and actually have a feeling inside of you of love for them without pandering to their unhealed emotion. Now if you have all of those things happening, it doesn't matter what condition you're in, you can help a spirit.

Participant: Do we not always attract spirits with similar injuries or with complementary injuries?

We do; however, we still have the ability to be in the condition I just mentioned while we assist those particular spirits. If we were truly connected with our own emotion, we would recognise a brother or a sister who comes to us with the same condition and go, "Wow, yeah, I have exactly the same problem as that." Instead of going, "Well you know, you're this angry and you're that angry..." Instead of going "you, you, you," you'd go, "Well, I'm in the same spot as you actually, and I'm having just as much trouble as you are dealing with that emotion. But this is what I've been told and this is what I'm trying to put into practice." Be more humble and honest about the assistance you're providing to them.

Mary: Once you're humble then there's so much more you can do to help another person, whether they're a spirit or in body.

1.13. The purpose of the mediumship team

Participant: With the group, is the only purpose to learn about mediumship or are there other reasons to have a regular group or a large group of people?

The whole purpose of the mediumship team (part of the God's Way of Love organisation) is to learn. What we're trying to do in the team is to encourage each of you who have a passion in the area of mediumship to go out and use that passion in a practical manner, in a loving manner in your day-to-day life. Unfortunately, what finishes up happening is that everyone relies on the team time instead of experimenting and going through this process of developing the mediumship and then helping spirits through your day-to-day interactions. The purpose of the team is to try to help you connect with your passion and then engage that passion in your day-to-day life without needing anybody else in the team to share in the passion with you.

It's a bit like with the arts team. What we want to do with the arts team is the same kind of principle – help you with your passion, help you connect to the passion and then go out into the world. In your general day-to-day life you have interactions with all sorts of people and many of them have never heard of the Divine Love Path. We want to help you share your passion with the rest of the world in a passionate manner and in a manner that's more and more in harmony with love and service. [00:43:53.08]

Mary: It is a service team; so it's not just about learning, it's learning because we desire to serve.

Down the track we would really love to see many of the people who are in the mediumship teams actually embracing the process of helping many, many spirits, but to do that we have to help everyone in the team get into that condition that I mentioned before – where we don't have any fear, we don't have any anger, we're not in agreement with them holding onto the emotion of shame or guilt or separation between men and women, even though we have the emotion inside of ourselves. That requires integrity. We're going to have to have much more integrity with our mediumship, far more integrity than the average person or average medium on the planet actually has.

1.14. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions

So would you like me to mention what Angelo and some of the other Celestial spirits who have been meeting with you feel about this, shall we start with that?

Audience: Definitely.

1.14.1. The feedback from Peter's Celestial guide, Angelo

We'll start with Angelo and his comments about how he feels everything's going. He feels that he's battling a very, very poor spiritual situation. Often what happens is that some very dark spirits come. They have been drawn here by some Celestial spirits to get some assistance. The spirits who come are in a greater state of humility than most of the people who are here. The spirits are willing to discuss their personal emotional condition with a group of people more than each of you is willing to discuss your personal emotional condition, and these spirits are willing to feel their personal emotional condition more than many of you in the group are willing to feel your own personal emotional condition.

As a result of that, the spirits are sometimes actually in a better condition than the group is, even though they need assistance. That's one issue that he'd like to raise with you.

Participant: I'm just not clear. Would we know that we are not humble? Would I know that I am not humble?

No. Most people who are not humble do not know it, and this is why your Celestial friends want to help you see what's really going on. This is why they wanted to raise some of these things with you. Angelo feels that there are so many addictions being projected at him that if he continues doing what he is currently doing with your group it won't be long before he will feel that he cannot do anything at all with the group. Unless the group changes soon, he personally feels that he will not be able to do much more with the group. In fact he's beginning to feel that he's just feeding the addictions of the group by doing mediumship through Peter with the group, particularly about your personal emotions.

Mary: Yeah, that's relating to what you mentioned first, Matt, about the taking feeling, "give me, give me," and there not being a strong sense of sincere gratitude. There's more of an expectation that he deliver.

He also said that there's very little practical application of any of the advice that he gives. Angelo feels that there is very little practical application of any of the advice that he gives to you when he's discussing your personal emotions.

Peter: One of the desires I get from Angelo week after week is that he wants them all to find their own Angelo, their own guide; that seems to be one thing that he's finding difficult.

Yes.

Mary: And that's something that he's said. If it's an expectation that he should serve in this way, it actually limits the number of other Celestial spirits who are able to connect with people because there's no sense of receiving the gift.

He actually said that in some of the meetings you've had, there has been no other Celestial spirit present aside from him because the spiritual atmosphere just doesn't allow it – and it's even difficult for him to be present.

Mary: Can you understand why it's difficult for them to be present? A Celestial spirit is very clear about not serving you in your addiction because that's going to take you further away from God; he's walking a tightrope of bringing truth and trying to develop everyone in terms of their own self-reflection and at the same time moving towards love. Angelo's also saying, "I can't keep going too much because they're in addiction with me doing this and it's not actually changing their lives. I can't lead them into addiction." He can't do that.

He wanted to mention a few things for you, Pete. One is that he feels that there's still a lack of openness to addressing truth in an equal manner with males and females. Secondly, he felt that there is sometimes a desire in you to support their emotional addictions, and he can't get drawn into supporting the emotional addictions of the group.

So from Angelo's perspective, and he's obviously with you every single group that you have, he feels that he can't keep doing it as it currently stands without everyone in the group having a good look at what's going on. That's number one. We'll talk about what he wants you to look at in a minute.

1.14.2. Other Celestial spirits' feedback

About the other Celestial spirits who observe the spiritual interaction: whenever any group of people get together, all of your emotions and all of your belief systems about yourselves and about the spirits combine to form an atmosphere. Imagine that when you all get together there's a smoke of a certain flavour that fills the room. [00:51:10.06]

Mary: Or colour.

Or colour. It actually has a colour; unfortunately, there's not much colour coming from the group at the moment, but there's a flavour that is present. There's also an odour, a smell that comes from you as well. It's the combined emotional condition, the positives as well as the negatives, that form a colour, a smell, an atmosphere of a general feeling. That atmosphere is what either attracts or repels different groups of spirits to come and join you.

The higher Celestial spirits would like to explain to you that this atmosphere is present every time you get together. Now if the atmosphere that's present has a nice sweet odour and has a brighter colour – remember the colour we mentioned before in Session 1, the corally pink colour? - this very much attracts any spirit, whether they are a Celestial spirit or a dark spirit, because they can feel the love and desire that is emanating from the group.

Mary: If you can imagine a cold night here in Kentucky, it's really cold, windy, and misty. Imagine that you build a big bonfire. It's warm and it's glowing and you want to go and be near it. You can see it for miles around if it's in the plains or the hills. You can see, "Wow, there's a place where there's probably warmth and light." That's what it's like when there's this coral coloured atmosphere if you like. A spirit can sense that from a long way off and they know, "Wow, there's warmth and light there," and it's very attractive.

1.15. An example of feeling heavy at the sessions

Participant: I'm just noticing that when I'm driving on mediumship nights, at times I can feel very, very happy and light and then as soon as I sit down, within ten minutes I feel, not tired because I'm passionate about the group, but heavy like there's just this strong cloak or blanket...

And can I suggest to you the direction that you need to go in? Because you're going to go in a totally different direction from that point onwards. Every time you feel the heavy atmosphere you need to understand that the reason you feel it is that you're suppressing something in you. For example, when I'm with you I don't feel all depressed and down even if you're feeling depressed and down, and if you feel like you're over-cloaked by some spirits when I'm with you, I don't feel like I am.

Participant: So that's not what you're talking about when you're saying that there's this colour in the group that comes.

Well, no, you see this is where we've got to be careful because each of us needs to personally reflect about "What inside of me causes me to get all heavy and shut down? What inside of me is open or closed to the spirits who are coming?" Now if dark spirits are coming to get help, naturally you're going to feel some of their emotions; if you shut down your feeling of their emotions because you don't want to recognise that some of those emotions are in you, then you will definitely get very heavy. [00:55:25.15]

Participant: So is that why a lot of the Earth-bound spirits don't remember their death? Because it's an avoidance in me of looking at painful things?

And in them, too, yeah.

Participant: A lot of them don't want to talk about how they died because there are always blockages there.

Exactly. Really, what's happening a lot is that we desire to shut down the realisation that "I've got the same emotions they have. Wow, I need to look at myself," and, "Wow, I feel that now." While somebody's trying to encourage them to open up, we ourselves in the group are shutting them down, we're actually encouraging them, through our own attitude, to shut down. The feeling coming from us is, "No, no shut up about that because you triggered me about that!" Or, "Shut up about that, I don't want to cry now." One person's trying to assist the spirit to open and the rest of the group's trying to assist the spirit to shut down. Sometimes it's even the person who's trying to assist the spirit who's shutting down the spirit.

We're talking about the flavour so that you can analyse your own participation in that flavour rather than feeling that there's a problem with the group and a problem with the spirits who are coming. Understand that every time you have that heavy feeling it's because you are avoiding something. Your avoidance is being triggered by something that they are projecting and you are shutting down. This is something we need to understand when we have spirits come to us.

Quite often we go, "Ah, that was really heavy that night; I don't know, Peter needs to fix that up." You are not realising that actually it was heavy because all of us were shutting down something. That's why it was heavy, and we felt the heaviness because we want to shut down, we don't want to know about them. [00:57:41.05]

Participant: I'd like to comment on that deep desire to serve. The deep desire to be connected to God also walks hand in hand with all of this.

Yes, I agree.

1.16. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

We'd like to talk about some of our Celestial spirits' comments and then we'll give you far more detailed information about what they would like you, as a group, to examine.

Mary: They would love you to build a campfire, one that they can stand around with you, one that's going to attract spirits. But as AJ was saying about the suppression and the avoidance and the blaming, the campfire gets dimmed and dimmed and dimmed every time. Even though some of you have this desire inside, every time you step aside from something that's triggered or you want to blame someone else or you get irritable with the spirit or the channeller, it gets dimmed and dimmed. So keep in mind that when we give this feedback, and some of it is quite specific and blunt, it's all because these guys really want to help you build the camp fire.

Their wish is for many of these teams around the Earth to get established. If they do we can have many people around the Earth assisting literally millions and millions of spirits. There are around 22 billion Earth-bound spirits at the moment who need assistance; it would be better if they could at least go to the spirit world. But they need assistance to do this, which means releasing them from their addictions. When we are in such heavy addictions ourselves, of course we're not going to help them release theirs, so we need to look at ourselves first before we can assist them.

1.17. An example of Mary stopping mediumship when emotionally challenged

Participant: I'm playing with this idea that obviously as we're channelling we get triggered because of our own stuff. We need to feel this and acknowledge this. Where is the line between maintaining the contact versus focusing on our own stuff? Like when Mary channelled last Saturday, her own stuff overwhelmed her and then she had to stop, which is fine... I'm just trying to find where that line of not becoming self-serving is, or...

The example Mary gave on Saturday, in Session 1, was an excellent example because she started to get challenged by some of the things the spirit was saying, obviously because it connected to her personal life. As soon as she started feeling that she felt, "No I can't do this in front of the group. I've got to go now and deal with some of my own emotions."

Participant: Yeah, and that's okay?

Yeah, it's fantastic.

Mary: This has been a journey for me as well, when my emotions get triggered while I'm channelling. I used to think, "Okay, I'm triggered, this is good, I'll just have a cry and I'll just keep channelling," and I realised that that was actually very selfish. At times when I'm channelling now it will trigger something within me, but I can own that and keep serving the spirit.

Participant: You kind of lost me there because you said when you started crying you felt that was very selfish, but on Saturday...

Mary: I'm not finished. There were times where I would keep channelling with AJ or a small group and I would be crying my own tears while relaying their message. Often it made the message very disjointed, it meant that...

The people around had to put up with Mary crying.

Mary: It's not loving to make you put up with my crying and make you sit with me while I cry.

So it's far better for Mary to stop, leave, and deal with her emotions. [01:02:04.09]

Mary: But now when I get triggered when I'm channelling, most often I'm able to own that emotion. I'm not suppressing it. I can acknowledge that "Okay, I'm really sad about this issue but I desire to serve my brother or sister and continue." On Saturday I felt, "Actually I can't do this; sorry, Rachel, sorry. I can't serve you and the group right now. I don't want to make everyone put up with me crying," so I made that decision. Can you see the distinction I'm making?

Participant: Yeah.

Mary: I'm not serving them if I'm using them to have my own emotion. So I either own it and continue serving or I say, "Sorry, I can't, I've got to feel my emotions."

Participant: Yeah I was just trying to figure that out.

1.18. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

Can I complete our Celestial friends' observations? We've talked about Angelo's feelings about the issue; let's talk now about the other Celestial spirits. The other Celestial spirits are feeling that it's very, very hard for them to even be present when Angelo's with the group because of what's going on. A lot of the time they have to sit back and just observe all of the addictions being fed between the spirits and yourselves and between each other, and there's very little they can actually do to assist because very few people, they feel, want to look at it emotionally. They feel that many of you are in quite heavy addiction. What they observe is that they have to step back and then they see this sort of cauldron of all sorts of emotions bubbling back and forward – or mostly being denied or shut down – and they are feeling like there's not much point in their being present until something changes, until something opens. [01:04:17.11]

Mary: There's very little way that they can connect unless it's to aid you in an addiction.

Yes. So now we would like to discuss with you what they felt were the two major problems. They are both issues of love and humility. The first subject they wanted to discuss with you is the general attitude of self-righteousness that is developing in people who think they now know the truth of the Divine Love Path. The second issue they wanted to raise with you is the attitude of selfishness that is starting to pervade or be pulled into the mediumship.

Participant: Serving self and...

Serving self rather than serving others.

Mary: If you think about it, you guys have already highlighted both of those themes.

Let's start with some of the comments they have and we'll try to give you some practical examples as we go. You may also think of some practical examples that you may want to ask about, so please feel free to share those.

Mary: They did say that they would really love for you to ground this in practical examples. Think about "What does that mean, what are they saying, what would that look like, how has that happened, how can I relate to this?" Think about what this really means in terms of practically doing mediumship, not just as a concept or an idea.

1.18.1. Examples of self-righteous behaviour

With self-righteousness, they mentioned firstly that there is a general feeling of righteous anger in both the males and the females of the group. What they mean by righteous anger is that many of you feel at times when you feel hurt that you are justified in becoming angry as a result of the hurt you feel.

Unfortunately, you also feel justified at becoming angry with spirits who hurt you. Many of you feel that with people who come to influence you spiritually. Can you feel the anger you sometimes feel in return with those spirits? You feel like getting angry with them and telling them to b... off. They said that this anger, this self-righteous anger, is happening between each other in the group, but it's also happening between yourselves and spirits. Do you notice that? [01:07:30.27]

Audience: Yes.

Have you got any practical examples where you've seen that occur?

Participant: In the mediumship team or within us personally?

Either.

Participant: I know that when I see someone being unjust to someone, my heart goes into this rageful place where I get a hot heart and I really want to say, "How can you be unloving?" whereas I'm unloving in that moment.

You want to punish the person who's hurting the other person.

Participant: Yeah, I want them to know what they've done, but there's this hot rage that comes out first. It's an actual heat in my heart. When I'm told to feel it and own it, I feel like I have to gag my soul and my heart because I can't control the projection until I really start to go into the process. But it takes a while for it to stop wanting to go that way and open...

Do you understand that that's about your denial of your own grief about being attacked?

Participant: Yep.

Participant: I had the opportunity to channel a woman spirit who had a lot of anger, Yeshua, and I think I was pretty self-righteous at the beginning. I guess what I realised, but I'm still not applying it all the time, is that I was demanding of them to do something emotionally – and they've had a far, far, far worse life than I have – and I'm not willing to do it myself.

Right, there's sort of hypocrisy in the whole interaction as well. That's good.

Participant: This is something you pointed out on Saturday in the last mediumship where I could start to sense my great grandfather. It was the first time I could feel that, and then I said I felt like saying, "Fuck off grandfather."

So there's an immediate anger and feeling righteous about it, feeling like "He shouldn't be with me, why is he with me?" instead of going, "You know, there must be something in me that got this situation happening." [01:09:50.22]

Mary: Matt was saying that this person had a far worse life than me... The spirits said that these two issues of self-righteousness and self-serving mean that most of you don't actually get to really know the spirit. You might hear a little bit of their story, but there's not a heart opening to the knowledge of their life.

It's almost like somebody coming to speak with you and they've got to work their way through the barrier of your judgement, your condemnation of them, your condescension towards them, the fact that you don't even want to know anything about their life and why they feel like they feel – we don't want to know any of these things but we are going to help them. And how can you help a person without engaging these other things? It's not really possible, if you think about it.

Mary: And when we just say, "Just feel your emotions." That's a very off-hand comment that does nothing to acknowledge this person's history, what's happened to them.

When all of us are Celestial spirits, we'll be able to instantly read their entire history without their having to tell us any of it, and we'll be able to instantly feel their emotions about their entire history without having to ask them anything about it. But do you know what? You'll still ask them, and you'll still engage them so that they'll have the opportunity to tell you.

I'm reading The Gate of Heaven. There's an example of a Celestial spirit who goes to the first sphere; he meets a guy who used to be a religious person on Earth. He doesn't just ream all of his stuff off to the religious person, you know, he waits for the religious person to actually engage a process with him. The religious person asks, "Why have I got these raggedy clothes? What's wrong with everything here? Are you the boss? Can I talk to someone who's the boss?" The Celestial spirit was very patient, very kind, very understanding. Once we're a spirit we can actually see and feel every single thing about a person's life, but we are still not going to be condescending; we're still going to be in a personal engagement of getting to know the individual. [01:12:36.15]

Mary: And can you reflect on this in terms of your relationships with each other? "Oh, that's your Law of Attraction", "Oh, you've just got to feel about it", "Oh, you're projecting." All this stuff is very off-hand and does nothing to acknowledge with love the person in front of you. Imagine if AJ got up there and in The Secrets of the Universe he says, "Right, all of you, you don't know anything, you're all projecting at me right now, you've got a lot of issues in your childhood, you should really look at that."

"You're all in a rage with me so I'm not going to do this," and off I go.

Mary: "You've got to own that it's all your Law of Attraction anyway."

You wouldn't learn much in that process.

Mary: But some of you treat each other like that.

A lot like that.

Participant: I'm just thinking, Mary, that the two issues you're talking about, about self-righteousness and self-servingness are the two issues that are most prevalent that you've been talking about in the book group. It's about how we're treating our brothers and sisters and the community.

Exactly. In fact many of us have been treating the community very badly, very judgementally. Of course there's going to be a backlash to that. There's going to be some kind of condemnation coming back at us for that emotion. It's like, you punch the community, what is the community going to do? Punch you back.

Participant: The same with families, too. In the beginning you learn a whole lot of new stuff and I know that I was coming from that place of self-righteousness and my son said to me, "You sound like you're preaching." You have to get to a point where you can live it rather than ... I was curious about the spirit world – they preach through action?

Always.

Mary: I think I might even have said that in the book group last week. If someone gets up in front of you and tells you the secrets of the universe, yet they live none of it, how many people would listen to that? None, because the real preaching is through acting. It is the same when our spirit friends come to us. We can tell them, "Oh, it's okay, there's a God," and all of that, but if we're sitting there in all our anger and resistance, they're going to respond to that more than they're going to respond to the words that come out of our mouth.

Today I was threatened with legal action about the Padgett Messages. They told me that I have to cease and desist from ever referring to the Padgett Messages to support my being Jesus. Now in the Padgett Messages it actually says that every person on the planet has free will. That includes me, so according to the Padgett Messages I'm allowed to do whatever I want. So straight away there is complete disharmony between the desire of the person to enter into legal action against me, trying to control my behaviour, and the Padgett Messages. He himself is not applying the Padgett Messages that he feels he owns.

And when we do the same, can you understand that there is never going to be a good result from that? We are being very hypocritical when we do that. We go into righteous anger towards others; we think we're right and we condemn other people. The anger itself indicates and betrays our true motives and condition. Our spirit friends are saying that this causes us to believe that we are right; we're self-righteous instead of seeing, "Wow, the fact that I'm angry already means that I'm wrong." We have to feel our anger, but we have to make sure we get to what the fears are and what the grief is underneath the anger rather than dumping the anger on somebody else. [01:16:42.11]

So this man is getting in a rage because the truths that we're spreading, this method is becoming bigger and bigger and bigger and he feels that he wants to attack me for that. In his self-righteous anger, away he goes and takes a certain action. Now if I did the same back, that would be a very, very damaging thing to do to my own soul and also to him as my brother.

Participant: Does he blame you for his book sales increasing as well?

The book sales are increasing, but that's a different matter. One of the things the Padgett Messages does say is that if something is actually the truth on Earth, it will grow, and if something is in error on Earth, it will die a natural death. So if he truly practised what he read in the messages, he wouldn't be worried about trying to kill something that's automatically going to die a natural death. There are all sorts of misunderstandings, of course, in the soul of the man about his own messages or the messages that he's reading, but what I'm illustrating is the fact that he's in this righteous anger, and righteous anger, while it might feel right in the moment that you engage it, is never going to be harmonious with love and particularly with God – so we're already out of harmony.

1.18.2. Examples of condescension towards spirits

Let's go onto the next one. The next one the spirits mention is the feeling that many of you have already raised – the feeling of condescension towards others or towards the spirits who come. Have you seen that in action at times? I think Matt mentioned it earlier, but have you felt that when a spirit comes and they seem in a very confused or very difficult state, many of you feel, "Oh I'm glad I'm not like that," or, "Wow, they're in a hard state, let's try to help them." Do you notice the feeling that comes out of you at times? Would anybody like to say anything about it?

Participant: Yeah, I recently saw myself in the spirit world. For myself it's pretty good to not assume that I'm in a better soul condition than the person I'm talking to even if they're in the hells.

Yes, and actually many times if we're honest with ourselves, instead of being condescending we'd go, "Wow, yeah I can see this lady that I'm talking to is angry with men and she feels she has the right to be angry with men." And then you go, "Whoa, I'm angry with men and I feel like I have the right to be angry with men, too." If I'm honest I can then say to her, "Wow, I can feel what you feel and actually I feel the same, so I don't know if I can really help you. We both need somebody to help us, but this is what I've been told about how to work through that particular information." So you can at least let them know what you've been told. You could say, "I know there are some bright spirits who have been through this so maybe we can ask them to come and give you some help if you'd like to receive their assistance." You could say to them, "I know that it's not right for us to have this righteous anger; we need to get to the grief. That's something I do know from my own experience – that while I hold onto this righteous anger, the grief's never going to be released and I'm never going to get anywhere with it. I know I'm holding onto the anger in my life and I know I'm not really getting anywhere." You can be very humble and admit your own state to the spirit and therefore have the ability to enter rapport with them, then maybe, through this honesty, assist them. [01:20:37.12]

Mary: Can you see that immediately you become humble you start to live more of the truth that you're conveying?

Participant: I find lately with my own processing it's helpful if I see myself not as the victim anymore but as the perpetrator: Why do I want this? Why do I attract this? Why do I continue to do this? It's actually making a really big difference.

It is a large change that we make when we do that, I agree.

Participant: When I'm processing at home I now always say "we" because I am recognising if they're there, it's totally because something within me created the attraction and I need the help. And when I ask for the Celestial to come, I always go through an emotional process together with the spirits – so it's always a "we" now.

Participant: Would you call pity condescending?

There's a difference between pity and compassion, isn't there? Compassion and sympathy is a far more loving emotion. Pity can sometimes be projected at a person with condescension. "I pity you" can sometimes be a very condescending position, whereas having compassion and sympathy for a person is like feeling a sense of empathy and understanding for their state. Every Celestial spirit who comes to help a person in the hells, and there are literally millions of Celestial spirits who spend a lot of their life helping people in the hells, goes to them from a condition of compassion and sympathy.

1.19. Commiserating vs. having compassion for the spirits

Participant: Can I ask about sympathy? When someone's gone through such a life and you feel sympathy for them, how much can it be a commiseration? Like, sometimes you go, "Oh that's horrible," but how much are you actually holding the spirit in a place of victim? It's a fine line.

If you truly feel what their state is and you truly allow yourself to have sympathy for their state, you cannot hold them in that state. You will be honest about the state. It's like if you were slapped around by your mother as a child and physically abused, and I said to you, "Ah, that wasn't so bad," that would of course make it difficult for you to process the emotion. If I said, "That was terrible; you should be really angry with your mother and you should stay angry with her for the rest of your life," then that's also holding the emotion. [01:23:12.05]

Participant: And that's the commiseration that you were talking about...

That's commiseration. We would want to have some sympathy for the fact that this person has been hit around from childhood, been violently abused, and therefore must have quite a lot of different emotions in them – anger, fear, terror, all sorts of different emotions are going to be present in them that we can assist them with if we connect with them. But we won't be sympathetic to them holding onto the emotion. We won't be encouraging them to keep holding onto the fact that this thing has happened. Do you see the difference?

Participant: Yes. If I end up crying because I can feel their pain and the torture of their life and I'm crying because I feel so... that's not commiserating with them?

Whenever you're crying like that you're not actually even feeling their emotion anymore. Whose emotion are you feeling?

Participant: Mine.

Yeah, your emotion of being attacked in your life, so in that moment I would say to the spirit, "Look, I've got some issues here that I just need to go away and cry about, and maybe you need to cry, too, like I'm crying about my issues." Through your example, show them what they need to do.

Mary: This is an important point that our spirit friends wanted to raise with you guys and I mentioned it briefly before, out of turn, but when we have a feeling inside of ourselves that "I can't feel my own pain" and someone is in front of us in pain...

In the same kind of pain...

Mary: ... it's like the difference between me going to AJ, "Oh my gosh, that was really hard for you, wow, you shouldn't have to go through that," and my saying, "Oh my gosh, that was really hard for you. You know, the truth is that we're going to feel this and we'll be free of it." One is having integrity, honour, and truth with compassion and the other is saying, "This is all too hard and it's really bad for you, and it's bad for me." Very often we call that first thing loving them but we are actually not.

No, we're actually not loving them.

Mary: This is really important. I don't know if I can make it any clearer.

Can you see the difference? There's a bit of confusion in that?

Participant: Does it all come back to the humility? If we're really feeling ours then it will come out naturally.

Mary: No, it's about a false belief inside of yourselves about feeling, "Pain is too hard to feel, I shouldn't have to do it."

If I feel that pain is too hard to feel and my own pain is too hard to feel and some things should never have to be felt, then someone comes along to me and describes a life that's even worse than my own, I'm going to say, "Wow that's a really hard life; you should never have to feel about that." Now that is actually helping them to not feel about that and it's actually helping them to stay in a state that is quite harmful. [01:26:17.09]

Mary: Often this happens with the anger in the women who come. There's a sense of, "Oh, but they've had a hard life; we can see they're in a lot of pain," and that's true but the critical point is whether we want to just understand them and tacitly agree with their not having to deal with the emotion, or whether we're going to be firm for truth, have that integrity inside of ourselves and in them, saying, "But by holding onto this we're never going to be able to love."

1.20. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

1.20.1. Examples of arrogance

Can we go onto the next one that they mentioned with regard to self-righteousness? They raised the issue of arrogance – we take certain actions and we treat people a certain way because we think we know the truth and they don't. Our spirit friends have said that we are often very arrogant with each other when we think we know and the other person doesn't know. Particularly if you're a medium, you're often doing this when you're interacting or giving help to another person. You're thinking, "I know what they're doing," and really it's a spirit telling you, so you don't really know. A lot of times you go, "I know how to deal with that. What's wrong with you? Why can't you deal with that that way?" We've got quite a lot of arrogance towards people on Earth, but we've also got quite a lot of arrogance with the spirits who come for assistance.

The arrogance is in three areas. We're arrogant with the dark spirits because we think we're better than them, we're arrogant with the Natural Love spirits because we think we're on the Divine Love Path and isn't it wonderful that we know the truth and they don't, and we're even arrogant with our Celestial friends because when they tell us something about ourselves emotionally we go, "No I don't have that emotion." We're arrogant with all of them, can you see? They feel it's a major problem because it's stopping them from seeing any major changes occurring individually, so how can they assist you? And how can they assist any spirits who are with you? Of course the spirits who are in darkness respond in anger to your arrogance, and there are spirits on the Natural Love Path responding in arrogance to your arrogance. They go, "Why would I want to come and talk to them? They're just a bunch of people who don't know how to love."

The Celestial friends said also that most spirits who come to visit you actually have less arrogance than you have, and these are even the dark ones who come to visit you. In fact to come and visit you they have to at least have enough of an open heart to express what's happened in their life in front of fifty people or so. You try doing that. You try saying, "Yes in my life I had thirty abortions," if you've had thirty abortions. You try saying, "Yes, in my life I raped a woman," in front of thirty people. Or try saying, "Yeah, in my life I have felt sexual attraction to children," in front of people, or saying, "Yeah, in my life I had five children and I beat four of them and one of them I showed favour to." Say that to thirty people.

Many of you don't even feel open enough about your own injuries to say any of those things, and then these spirits come and they say exactly those things to you, so already they have more openness than we have by disclosing these things.

So what our spirit friends are saying is that this attitude repels not only the dark spirits but also any bright spirits on the Natural Love Path who could learn, and also any Celestial spirits from the group. So the Celestial spirits come and say, "Yes, I would love to tell Rita about the fact that she's over-cloaked most of the time, that's what I'd love to tell her," which is a truth by the way, Rita.

Participant: I'm realising.

You've got a group of spirits that over-cloak you to make you feel really, really happy and when they can no longer maintain connection with you, then you've got a group of spirits that go into this mistrustful, suspicious, sad, a bit depressed place that you don't like very much, and then back to happy, right? Now that's a gift they could give to Rita, to tell her about that, so at least she becomes more aware. But if there's no medium able to communicate that to you because the medium's sitting there arrogantly thinking... or Rita is less humble and goes, "I don't want to accept that. Why should I accept that? No, that's only Peter's opinion. Peter's got that problem, it's not me." So if Rita had those attitudes then of course what would the Celestial spirit do if the Celestial spirit feels even before they begin that there's not much of a chance for any true assistance to be given?

They also said that there is no desire to know, respect, and love your spirit visitors, to actually know them and respect them. No matter how dark they are, how bright they are, what path they're on, what religion they're from, what race they are, whether they are a woman or a man, we still respect them, we still respect that they've come, and we still thank them for their presence even if their presence is quite heavy and causes us to become a bit afraid. We thank them and we respect the fact that they're there, and we love them while they're there, because if we love them while they're there, we have a chance to help them; if we don't love them while they're there, we have no chance to help them.

The Loving Use of Mediumship: Session 2 Part 2

2. Discussion about the regular mediumship sessions in Kyabra

That was the general summary of the self-righteous are that they wanted to mention to you. Are there any questions about that that you'd like to raise?

2.1. Examples of arrogance (continued)

Participant: I'm going through something challenging as far as when spirits or even people get heavily into denial. At a certain point it starts to look absurd and comical to me. I'm just wondering what emotion is pushing that?

What you're displaying right now is the arrogance that we're speaking of.

Participant: Exactly.

The reality is that you are one of the persons I feel is sometimes in complete denial of the real emotion. If I can point out one emotion; you have emotions of rage within you that you are in complete denial of. In a way it is strange that you have seen the complete denial of another person with a different emotion and then feel like almost laughing at them. That would be the same as me saying to you, "You're in complete denial of your rage," and then making a joke about it or making you feel small about that denial. Can you see that?

Participant: Yeah.

This is where we've got to be careful because quite often the very thing we're laughing at or the very thing that we see in the other person is the exact thing that's in us that we do not see. That's why we see it.

Mary: So to resolve that issue emotionally... for Alexis, it is actually the anger that causes him to feel detached and to be able to laugh. We would see that intellectually and we would recognise that emotionally as an error in love. Then we would ask to open to that emotion within ourselves.

Yes, but there's something you can do while you're in the group. When you feel that within you – that feeling of "I just want to laugh at this person because it seems to me like they are ridiculously in denial" – ask yourself, "Is this is a loving feeling that I'm now projecting at this person? Obviously it's not. So then we could go, "Okay, at least in this interaction I have to own the fact that right now I am not being loving." In that moment if you own the fact that you're not being loving, even with that the feeling inside of you of wanting to laugh or to make fun of them, they will receive less projection from you.

Participant: I'm sorry, say that again - I just spaced out.

When you space out it's because you don't want to know how you can change in the moment. If I could just go general here now for a moment, many of you have so much anger in you, and you desperately wish to not even know how to respond to your anger, how to deal with your anger.

Mary: Because it's righteous, it's the feeling that it's righteous.

Hold on to your righteousness, you see.

Mary: Often when we address a specific question for someone, a lot of you tune out and most of the time it's completely relevant for everyone. So just notice that.

So let's go back to the situation. Firstly you have to be humble enough to be self-observant. Okay, I'm now feeling like I want to laugh at them so I go, "I feel like I want to laugh at them. Why do I want to laugh at them? Ah, it's because I think they're absurdly in denial, I feel it's absurd." And then I have to go, "My feeling of wanting to laugh at somebody else's denial is obviously out of harmony with love." The moment you tell yourself that, you are now automatically being more self-reflective. Therefore, there is less projection going toward the spirit you wanted to laugh at. [00:04:57.26]

Wanting to laugh at them is quite a belittling, sarcastic thing to do. Sarcasm and belittling another person are usually based upon anger about something they're reflecting back at us. Let's say I'm a man and I've got this arrogant man bombarding me and I feel like sort of attacking him as a result. If that's the case, he's just exposing an emotion that I am in denial of inside of me and that's why I don't like him much.

Any time that we feel we don't like somebody it would be great for us to go, "Okay, there's something in them that, inside of me, I actually don't like. This is why I don't like them. There is something in them that I am in judgement about, and it is also inside of me." Do you understand? And once we allow ourselves to see that, we can be even more self-reflective and there will be even less projection going toward the spirit. But if we can't do that, at least do the first thing; at least recognise, "Okay, yes, my behaviour right at the moment is unloving. Well, that's another thing I've got to note down in my little book about my unloving behaviour."

I don't know about you, but when I began this process I had about eighty pages of unloving behaviour I had to work my way through. The way I listed it was, "What is the truth and what is my unloving behaviour?" I actually had a book I carried around with me that I added to – "There's another thing I just noticed about myself that was out of harmony with love." So I write that down and if I'm not addressing it emotionally there and then, at least I can go back again and connect with that feeling and go, "Yeah, I was laughing at the spirit. Yeah, it was because their denial was absurd. So where is my denial absurd? That's something I need to have a look at inside of myself. And why is denial so funny to me? I've got to look at that as well because it's not really funny. Denial affects all sorts of things really badly, so it's not a funny thing." I'd have to ask myself those questions.

Mary: I feel like it's related to that disillusioned feeling that we talked about, Alexis. I feel like there's that feeling for you like, "Ah, it's all wrecked anyway and it's just to laugh about."

Participant: Laugh about it. (Laughs)

Yeah, it's stuffed you know.

Mary: It's kind of comical now, yeah.

Participant: Yeah, that's true, I do.

Which covers over lots of grief.

Participant: Grief.

Yeah.

2.1.1. An example of analysing others' emotions

Participant: I'm going back to the arrogance. I may have been mediumistic for some time and I feel that I've used that very arrogantly in analysing people. I've gone into my head because they've triggered something in me that I don't want to feel. You analyse them and then that's their little box, then you don't have to look at your own stuff.

Exactly.

Participant: But it's all up in my head. When you say people get out of their body, it would mean that they go into their intellect or that they...

Often go heavily into their intellect.

Mary: Or if you're like me, you just go dumb.

Or even way out altogether.

Participant: Or fog out – I don't know how I feel. Is that a sign of being over-cloaked or not in your body?

Yes. Can I mention too that many of you who feel you are accurately analysing other people are actually having quite dark spirits connect to you in those moments. They do tell you some truth about the other person's emotion, but not for the purpose of helping the other person. Rather it's for the purpose of making you feel better than the other person. [00:09:10.24]

Participant: That's what I was just suspecting.

These darker spirits are feeding your addictions to feeling better about yourself by pulling down another individual and remaining blind to your own injury at the same time. The beauty of self-reflection is that it does the opposite.

A Celestial spirit would come to you in that situation and instead of helping you analyse Peter, he would help you analyse why you are so offended by Peter. And he would help you look at the emotion inside of yourself that causes you to respond in that manner. For example, using the issue you mentioned before, he'd be helping you focus on the very strong sense of injustice you feel between men and women, how strongly you feel righteously angry about that particular issue. And the Celestial spirit would be focusing on how much grief there is inside of you, how afraid you are of feeling that grief about how women get treated, particularly how women historically have been treated much worse than men.

And that spirit will be helping you connect with your emotion, whereas this other spirit comes along, and he or she is not helping you connect with that emotion. She's helping you connect with the emotion of "Yeah, I'm pretty good, I can work Peter out. I can even know that he's gone to a boarding school, an all male boarding school." Many of these things that you get told are true, but the purpose of being told them is actually to pull the person down in your own heart while at the same time elevating yourself. Then you don't have to feel the grief associated with the other emotions that are triggered.

Participant: That makes sense. I have realised that just because you know the truth or a truth...

Or we think we know the truth. For a lot of us at this stage, the truth has just entered our mind, and much of it hasn't entered our mind completely, and sometimes it hasn't touched our heart at all. For many of you, for example, the Law of Free Will has yet to touch your heart. Many of you misunderstand it completely. You have lots of judgements about that particular law about love, so it's yet to even touch the heart, but you think you know it. And then you spout all these things because you think you know it, but the heart and the actions demonstrate that there is no knowledge, no real understanding. [00:12:14.09]

2.2. Self-reflection during mediumship

Mary: Can I congratulate you on your self-reflection?

Yeah, it's wonderful. Can you see that when we have a group where we're self-reflective, a lot of times we start with a bit of resistance, then we start getting into it, then we start going, "Wow, I'm discovering things about myself here – that's a wonderful thing!" You start feeling buoyant even though you're looking at things that you would normally be trying to shut down and reject.

Participant: Yeah, I want to find more.

Yeah, it's like a discovery process.

Mary: And that's relevant to your mediumship nights because all of this self-discovery is encouraged in the context of love, isn't it? No one's up here shaming you for what you're figuring out. We're going, "Awesome!"

"It's wonderful to know that!"

Mary: So take the same approach and apply that to the spirits that you're speaking with. You do it not from a sense of self-righteousness with them but from a sense of "Hey, we can discover things here that will help you." That's going to help them feel more encouraged in their process.

You can even discover things with the spirit that can actually help you while you're helping them.

Mary: I just had a little message from the spirits on that last bit of self-righteousness. Basically we're talking about a sense of condemnation towards spirits. Some of your spirit friends want to remind you that some of you have the injury of being quite condemnatory towards others because you feel you know the truth; however, when that gets turned around and you recognise something about yourself, you can get condemnatory of yourself – and that's equally unloving.

Anger or condemnation towards yourself is just as unloving as anger or condemnation towards another. Often we condemn others because we condemn ourselves. Sometimes we're very harsh with ourselves and as a result we are very harsh with others. We need to be conscious of that. [00:14:37.15]

2.3. Celestial spirits' feedback about the sessions (continued)

2.3.1. Selfishness during mediumship

The second aspect that I would like to raise with you is the selfishness attached to mediumship. I will raise the points they've raised and then we can discuss them in more detail. Firstly, their feelings are that there is generally a lack of desire to serve the spirit, or a lack of desire to serve the person that mediumship is given to on Earth. Instead, there is often a desire to attack the person on Earth by using the mediumship to make them feel worse and to make you feel better about yourself. With spirits, there is often a feeling of dismissal like, "Hurry up, get on with it," when actually you're not getting on with it yet.

There is a desire to take from spirits. This particularly comes at Angelo in your group, but many of you also have the desire to take from your own Celestial friends. There's a feeling that they've got to tell you what's wrong with your life, but when they do tell you, you go, "Ah, no, I don't agree with a lot of that." Then you want them to tell you something more. Of course by this stage they go, "Well, the last thing that I told you, you didn't want to accept. Why should I tell you something more? You've already rejected the gift I've just given you; how can you want more?"

2.3.2. Lack of gratitude for truth and love

This brings me to the third point they raised: the gifts of truth or love that they give you are not received humbly or with gratitude. Say a spirit comes along and tells you something about yourself emotionally. Instead of sitting with it and actually working through the issue over the next week or month or however long it takes, many of you receive it and go, "Ah, I'd like to know more now." You just got something that's quite life-changing if you actually do something about it; instead of just sitting on that and waiting, seeing whether the spirit wants to give you more or not, you want something more straight afterwards. The spirit's going, "Well, you just dismissed the first thing; you haven't dealt with the first thing. Before I can share the second thing you need to deal with the first thing." The spirit finds it very difficult to engage you in this process of feeding you more and more information without your addressing the emotion.

Somebody can feed you lots of information but it doesn't mean that you address any of it, and often that's the case, isn't it? With the seminars and stuff that I've presented, sometimes years later you've gone back to it and you go, "Ah, that's what he said!" At the time you thought you knew it, then years later it dawns on you that you didn't know it. If you had some feeling of respect for our Celestial friends, you'd realise that they do have your best interests at heart and when they share something with you, it is best not to dismiss it. It is best to reflect upon it much more deeply than we often do.

2.3.3. A desire to dismiss attacking or angry spirits

The fourth thing they mention is that many of you have a desire to 'move on' spirits who are attacking you or who are angry. You want to get rid of them; you want to push them on. "Get on with your life and get away from me!" The reason you do this is you want relief from their projection. It's a selfish desire to get rid of them so you can get some relief from them.

Also, you often have an agreement with the unloving position of the spirit. For example, if an angry woman comes along and she starts telling you about her life – she's been raped, she's been abused by a man, she was murdered by a man – if you've had some of those things happen to you, or you've heard about those things happening to other women, or you have the multi-generational injury that most women have that we don't deserve any of that, you're now in a rage. You're in a rage about these men and how bad these men have been to this woman, and do you think you're helping her now? How can you help her? You've got exactly the same feelings she has and it's now impossible to help her get to her grief because you're in a rage. You're not in your grief about what's happened to her, so how can you help her be in her grief about what's happened to her? [00:19:50.00]

Often we are actually holding the spirit in a place where they can't change. We are commiserating with them about why their life is so bad and why they should be angry, why they should feel shame, why they've got a lot of grief and why they punish men. You could say, "Yeah, go ahead and punish some more men because that's what I feel like doing as well." And many of you ladies who are angry do feel like punishing more men. That's one reason you're not attracting men into your life - because you're punishing them.

And many of you men feel like pandering to women; you feel this sense of arrogance over women – because women are emotional and you're not emotional, that means you've got things together and they haven't. These are emotions that are projected at the spirits at the same time.

They also said that there is a selfish motivation to release the spirit from your Law of Attraction. In other words, when a group of angry women spirits comes, you often say, "There's a group of angry women spirits here with us," instead of going, "Wow, why is this group of spirits here? What inside of me causes the attraction with this group of spirits? How much do I agree with them?" Or in the men's case, "How much am I frightened of them? How much do I want to run away instead of standing up for truth?" Many of you men don't want to stand up for truth when it comes to people who are angry, particularly women who are angry, so now you've got this selfish motivation, "Just get rid of them. Can we talk to someone else instead?" You are not realising that this is a beautiful attraction to help the whole group deal with specific things.

2.3.4. Using mediumship to correct others rather than helping people correct themselves

The last thing they mentioned, which I feel is very important, is that you're presenting mediumship as a way to correct people either on Earth or in the spirit world rather than personally living the path of love, truth and humility as a way of helping people to correct themselves. Do you see the difference? We're actually using mediumship as a tool to change people because we want them to change, whether that's a person on Earth who we're channelling to or a spirit that we saying we're "helping." We are actually wanting those spirits to change, or we want the person on Earth to change, rather than ourselves actually living a life of humility, love and truth.

As a result, our mediumship becomes used as a tool to attack people. We're attacking the person we're giving mediumship to by telling them a whole heap of things about themselves because we want them to change. That's the only reason why it's coming out of our mouth. And many times it's coming out of your mouths uninvited, by the way. If you think about much of your mediumship, you go up to a person and say, "My spirit guides wanted to tell you blah blah blah..." What you've just done is given information uninvited to the person. Do you think it's a Celestial spirit giving you this information? What does a Celestial spirit do? He asks first whether you want the information. He would at least ask the person, "Do you want to know what the spirit says? Your spirit friend wants to tell you something. Do you want to know?" They'd at least ask you that. This is not a Celestial spirit, it's not a Natural Love spirit, it's a spirit in the hells trying to cause trouble and trying to be overtly controlling and manipulative of the person you're telling the information to.

Mary: Or it can be a spirit who you like to have around you to protect you. "So, AJ, you've got a lot of anger with women."

Let's say I am angry with women and I'm a male and Mary's a female so she comes to me and goes...

Mary: ...My spirit guides feel you really need to work on your anger with women.

Yeah. (Laughter). And how do I do that?

Mary: But the subtext is, "I really don't like your anger with women; could you please deal with that so I don't have to feel about it?"

... so I don't have to put up with it anymore. Can you see? Or I can come up to Mary and go, "My spirit guides say..." and away I go. Or another one that we see quite often: "You're actually quite afraid of me, aren't you?"

Mary: Sometimes the subtext is, "You should be quite afraid of me."

That's a spirit with the person really saying that to the person: "You should be freaking out because of me." And oftentimes they should be freaking out in the sense that the spirit saying it is very, very dark.

Mary: If I were a really humble person and I can feel every time I walk up to AJ he's quaking in his boots, I wouldn't feel the need to go, "You're quite afraid of me, aren't you?" I'd go, "Whoa, my brother is fearful every time I'm around; what is coming out of me?"

And if you really loved him you'd be looking at "What can I do inside of myself? Are there things inside of me that cause a man to be afraid around me?" If you were a woman and a man's afraid of you all the time, the first thing you need to do is go, "Okay, what's coming out of me towards men that would cause men to be afraid of me?" Then, "Okay, yeah, I actually feel quite bad about men. I feel like if I were a man I'd probably like to punch some of them in the nose." You are honest with yourself, and you could work through a lot of things. [00:26:27.01]

After you've done all of that you might go, "Well, I don't know if there is anything coming out of me," but there's still really no reason to come up to the person and say, "You're quite afraid of me, aren't you?" You're going, "What can I do to help my brother be no longer afraid of women" - because he's obviously afraid of women. "What can I do to help him?" You could say to him, "I've noticed that you're pretty afraid of women," instead of going, "You're afraid of me." Or you could go, "Do you feel you're afraid of women? Is there anything that you know to do about that? Because it's obviously harming your life." If you were loving, you'd probably want to ask them those kinds of questions.

2.3.5. Selfishness during mediumship (continued)

Participant: Some people have a fear of helping a spirit, then releasing them and if they themselves haven't dealt with the emotion they believe they may get a worse spirit. To my way of thinking, I might help twenty spirits with a particular injury that I have until I'm able to release it. Is there a problem with that? Do you know what I mean? People are in so much fear of releasing the spirit because they've still got the injury.

There is only one time that's a problem – when we are in total denial of the emotional reason the spirit is attracted to us in the first place. We will be attracting a new spirit with the same condition or perhaps even a worse condition as long as we remain in denial. That's the only time I see it being a problem.

Mary: And if we use that as an excuse, "I can't help that spirit because it might mean I'm not going to deal with anything," there's a lot of...

...fear in there.

Mary: Not just fear, lack of humility, isn't it? There's a feeling like, "I'm not going to love myself enough to feel, I'm not going to love them enough to be able to grow because I'm just afraid."

Participant: And it's not trusting God's Law of Attraction, like, if it does intensify, well...

... that's what I need to deal with this emotion. Exactly. Quite often we create comfort in our day-to-day life. We create these comforts to avoid what makes us uncomfortable. For example, many people live in a city because they want to avoid the discomfort of some of the things you've got to do in the country, things you don't have to do in the city. We've got to be very careful that we're not doing the same with our spirit interactions as well, trying to create personal comfort all the time so that we're constantly focused on me, me, me.

This is what our spirit friends are referring to with selfishness in the mediumship. If I focus on loving the spirit I'm helping, then I'm not going to be saying, "If I get rid of this spirit, I'll get a worse spirit, so I don't want to get rid of this spirit." I wouldn't say that ever, would I? I would be focused on helping the person. Of course I'm going to help them – it doesn't matter what's going to happen to me, I would still want to help them if I had a selfless feeling of helping them.

I wouldn't be going into this selfish place of, "Wow, if I get rid of this one then a worse one might come along. This one I know, I might as well keep him." Or we might also be feeling, "This one's really nice; he meets a lot of my addictions and if I get rid of him then I'll feel bad about this and bad about that. And he projects some sexual feelings at me that make me feel really good. If I get rid of him, I won't have that anymore. I'll feel lonely and I'll feel like I need a man on Earth," I might even go through all this reasoning where I decide to retain an emotional addiction with this spirit because of my own selfishness. That is not serving ourselves or the spirit we say we want to help in the long run. [00:31:04.00]

2.4. An example of using mediumship to gain information about others and avoid emotions

Participant: AJ, I just want to clarify the fact that a Celestial spirit will ask if the person wants...

Always. Now, David, do you know what you're going to do? You're going to go up to someone and say, "Do you want this material?" rather than looking at whether you're actually channelling Celestial spirits or not. The majority of the time you are not channelling Celestial spirits but rather very dark spirits, even when you think you're helping someone. You're not examining that, and as a result there's a tendency in you then to do the rote thing of, "AJ said the Celestial spirit would ask, so now I'm going to ask." That doesn't change the spirit with you, do you understand? The spirit with you would have already been motivating you to ask before I said it. The fact that he hasn't been means that you aren't channelling the spirit you think you're channelling when you're giving this information to another person.

Participant: I'm having a little bit of difficulty actually receiving it.

Exactly, because the spirit with you does not want you to see that he's not a Celestial spirit. He doesn't want you to see that. His relationship with you has been established because of your acceptance of what you believe his condition is rather than your knowing what his condition is. The difference at the moment is that I can feel his condition, and his condition is not anywhere above a first sphere condition, but you're channelling him as if he's a Celestial spirit because many times he accurately channels the emotions in the other person. Do you understand? And, yes, he does that, but do you know why he does that? To make you feel good, to make you feel like you know things, to make you feel like you're better than the other person, that's why he does it. Therefore, there are some emotions in you of wanting to feel better than the other person, and that covers a whole series of griefs where you feel worse than the other person.

He's helping you avoid how bad you feel about yourself when you're with other people by making you feel better than the other person, by giving you information about the other person that is emotional in nature so that you assume that he's a Celestial spirit giving you information. Then when I address this issue with you, he's trying to shut you down, "Don't listen to this, don't listen to this." [00:33:26.14]

Participant: Yeah. I can feel that.

"Don't trust this," he's saying to you right now. "Don't trust this, don't listen to this. I am a Celestial spirit - how dare he say that." Can you feel his anger with me?

Participant: I can feel something and he's applying pressure to me.

If he were a Celestial spirit, would he be angry with what I'm saying?

Participant: No. I can feel this guy particularly; he's not a Celestial spirit. Have there been times where I have actually channelled the likes of Peter and Jocelyn?

Now you want to feel good about yourself.

Participant: Yeah, okay.

Can you see that if I'm in a condition of love, I will not be feeding your addiction? You want me to feed your addiction. Your addiction is, please tell me that I've done something right.

Participant: Yes.

"... because otherwise I'll just feel worse about myself." Can you see? ... instead of just allowing yourself to feel what you feel from the interaction. The danger that many of you are in with these spirits is that they have learned that all they need to do is use the terminology of Divine Love, and because you are yet to release a lot of your own grief, your own sadness, your own fears, your own anger, you can't tell through feeling whether these spirits are brighter or darker. You can only tell when a spirit's brighter or darker when you have released the dark emotions with yourself.

These spirits give you the facade feeling of, "Wow, I feel pretty bright because I can tell what Mary's emotions are. I can sit there while Mary's doing her book group. She's not feeling that, she is feeling that, and I know all of this. Boy, this Celestial spirit with me, he's so good, isn't he?" And yet it's not a Celestial spirit with you, it's just a spirit in the spirit world who's probably been there for some time. He's learnt your language, he's learnt your lingo, and he knows that all he's got to do is feed you some of the lingo and you'll start going, "I know this stuff." All he's doing is pandering to your feeling of desire for glory or approval or power or whatever is inside of you. In the process of doing that, you're darkening your own condition by feeding that addiction. That's all he's doing. And he's establishing a greater connection with you through this process, making you believe that he's something he's not. Then when I come along and challenge it, he gets angry or you go, "What do you say?" And then I say it again and, "Oh sorry what did you say?" It's that kind of feeling where it all seemed to have gone away for that moment that the important thing was said. [00:36:20.22]

These are indications that the spirits are falsifying their condition to you – and why would they be doing that?

Participant: They are getting something out of the interaction too, I imagine.

Yes, but see how you still don't want to look at your own addiction? The first thing you mentioned is what they're getting out of the interaction. Can you see we've got to start with what we're getting out of the interaction? That's the whole point.

Mary: Our spirit friends did give some specific feedback for the men and the women in the group and that probably fits here. For the men in the group there's the issue of arrogance and using mediumship arrogantly, using mediumship to avoid emotions. So AJ just gave that example where you're feeding your addictions through...

Feeding your addictions.

Mary: ... and presenting truth without love or humility. Those are the dominant things for the men in the group to look at.

Participant: So even if I pray beforehand about being of service...

Mary: Is your prayer sincere, Dave?

Is the dominant emotion an addiction? Because the addiction is the prayer. Remember, the true feelings are the prayer, so if your true feeling is, "I want my addiction met," then what do you think is going to happen? That's the prayer, that's what's going to happen. It's very important to understand that.

The Law of Attraction comes to expose a condition in you. You can pray to God to protect you from this but the reality is, why would God invent a law and then prevent you from feeling the effects of that condition? Can you see that often we're praying to God and basically saying, "God, on this particular occasion, can you just forgo that law and forgo that law and forgo that law and look after me?" And God does none of those things ever, do you understand? God does not protect us from His own Laws. He established every law that He has because He loves you, and the establishment of these laws are one of the expressions of His love for you. They will help you get to a condition of love the most rapidly. That's why He created them. Why would He then deny the expression of one of those laws just because you want to avoid something at a certain moment?

Mary: And the truth is that in a moment or a period of time where you are really humble, you're really looking at your addictions and there is a true desire for service, you don't need to forgo the law. You're going to attract Celestial spirits and you're going to be able to serve. It's always based on the truth of what's in your heart.

That's a very important point that Mary mentioned. If you have a pure, passionate desire to love and you want to be humble and you want truth more than anything else, what kind of spirit are you going to attract? Of course you're going to attract a different kind of spirit. You're not going to be in your addictions attracting one type of spirit, you'll be attracting another type. Even if you attract a dark spirit, you'll be in this beautiful place where you'll be able to either assist them, or through the interaction you'll be able to help yourself and them. There are so many possibilities in that place. [00:40:02.02]

Mary: Something that we've been talking about in book group is, "Now that all this has been said, it's clear I'm not in a condition to serve. I can't do anything," which is missing the point again.

Exactly. We don't want to shut down the mediumship because "AJ's basically indicated that all the mediumship is in addiction, so what's the point of doing any of it anymore?" Surely what we want is to go, "Right, yes, I can start seeing that there's addiction here and I see that there are some dark spirits involved here. I want to change that. The way I'm going to change that is not by intellectually trying to do something to change it, but rather addressing the core emotional reasons why I'm addicted to power," for example in your case, and addiction to power covers a fear about being powerless. So I'm addicted to power, I have to admit that first. Then I would go, "Okay, I'm obviously afraid of having no power at all and underneath that is the fact that during my childhood..." and in your case, Dave, during your childhood you had no power, zero power, you were given no power at all. You were under the control of men and women around you constantly. This is the reason you want the power: you don't want to grieve the emotion of being powerless.

Once we understand that, we realise that within a few weeks we could heal this emotion and be in a totally different place. If we're prepared to grieve the powerless feeling, then we can change. But if we focus on, "I just like the power, man; I just want to have that feeling that I know what Mary's feeling and thinking. A lot of times I know even when Mary doesn't know. It feels good, it makes me feel powerful over Mary, makes me feel like I've got control of her. Or even if I don't have control of her, I can have this nice smug self-satisfied feeling. It makes me feel like I know what's happening and nobody else does." All of that is covering the emotion that we need to feel; it's just feeding or pandering to the addiction.

The spirits with us are experts at pandering to our addictions – why? So they can meet their own addictions. There's always something going on in the other direction as well that they benefit from.

Mary: And in that way we're prostituting ourselves to them. They're assisting us with our unloving desire, but you can guarantee you're going to be assisting them in some kind of unloving desire.

What does the spirit get out of this interaction where he's making you feel powerful, making you feel like he's your Celestial guide, making you feel like he knows things? What does he get out of that? You honour him, you feel connected to him all the time, you listen to the other things he says, some of which might be quite misleading; when a woman comes along that he wants to have sex with, he'll say, "She's your soulmate," and away you go in that direction. There are a lot of things he gets out of this co-dependent relationship. They get to feed their own desires and passions through this unhealed interaction, and that's the danger. That's the danger. If we don't see the danger, it can become quite dark for us very rapidly. [00:43:59.20]

They use us, we use them; we can't forget that we use them. They're using us, we're using them, they're using us, we're using them, until we get to the point where it starts feeling a bit creepy. Now we would prefer to see that happen within a few weeks rather than ten years later. For many of us it happens years later; we go on for years and years before we realize what's happened. It's far better if we can realise it in weeks or even days.

2.4.1. Refining mediumship by stopping addictions and becoming more humble

Participant: The last time you gave me feedback about my mediumship you said don't stop, but I did.

Yeah, and this time - don't stop, but refine.

Participant: Yes, so suggestions on how to refine?

I've already given them to you, if you think about everything that we've just talked about. You will be able to replay this session over and over, and you'll be able to see what's going on in your own mediumship. You will realise that the only way to refine mediumship is to refine yourself. You can't avoid refining yourself.

If you focus everything on refining yourself in harmony with love, truth and humility, your mediumship will automatically be refined. Do you see? But when I focus firstly on the mediumship and try to refine the mediumship without refining myself...

Participant: Trying to fix it.

... all I'll get is another spirit coming along. He thinks, "Right, he got rid of the other fella but I want some of the same things, and all I need to do is use a bit of different language. I've heard this discussion that AJ's had with David so I'm going to say to David, 'Ask the person first before you give them mediumship.'" It's quite easy for a spirit. The problem is that you can't feel these spirits. If you could feel them properly, you would know what they're doing. The problem is that you can't feel them because you want the addiction met.

Mary: I feel the main issue is the obsession with the addiction because a lot of you are sensitive. If you desire to know, you can feel, but it's the ongoing obsession of getting the addiction met that just blinds us.

Desensitises us, blinds us. It's sort of like for a person who's an alcoholic. He's drinking away and his wife's saying to him, "I think you're being a drunkard." Then he starts beating his wife, and a lot of times he gets down to a really dark condition before he goes, "Whoa, I am an alcoholic. I've got an addiction, I'm drinking all the time, and it's affecting my entire life." But often it has to get really bad before he'll do that, and many times even then he won't because he's so much obsessed with the addiction that he doesn't even want to change.

The truth for many of us is that we are obsessed with our addictions. Often we don't want to change and we've got to admit that to ourselves before we can even begin to change. Some of us are obsessed with the addiction of wanting to be happy all the time, so some spirits come along and make you feel happy all the time. You go, "I'm happy all the time, isn't it funny? Everything's funny, everything's a joy. I'm so in love with the Divine Love Path, it's so wonderful. The Celestial spirits love me so much, it's so wonderful." And the reality is that the spirits are just feeding the obsession of wanting to be happy all the time rather than just being yourself – happy or sad whatever the feeling is. [00:48:09.08]

Some of us have an obsession to be the victim all the time. We love it when everybody in the room feels sorry for us, so we get some spirits with us who start telling us things about our life. They will tell us we've had this or that happen in our lives, some of which has not happened, but we start thinking it's a memory of our own. We start creating all of these things because we can play the victim. And everybody around us goes, "Isn't it terrible, she's had such a terrible life. Ah, I'm so sorry," and they give you a hug. We're obsessed with getting the hugs rather than feeling alone or sad or disillusioned or some of the other darker emotions that we sometimes have. And this is what we've got to be real about.

Many times these spirits are cleverer than you. They've been around longer than you; they know how to lie better than you. Some of them have been around thousands of years lying to people, and living with people lying to them. For hundreds of years they have been with heaps of different people. Do you think they know every trick in the book? What's the only way to deal with that? You have to be open and sensitive enough to feel them. How do you get open and sensitive enough to feel them? By being open and sensitive to all of your own feelings.

Remember that every time we don't get an addiction met, we revert to anger. I'm basically saying to Dave that most of the spirits that connect with him are first sphere spirits who falsify their identity to Dave to make him feel better about himself than he actually feels and to make him feel like he's got his life under control when he doesn't really feel like he's got his life under control yet. Then Dave goes, "Well, okay I have some options here." Usually we take one of two options. The first one is, "I'm never doing mediumship again. It's too dangerous. I'm not doing it again." Now straight away we've turned off what is potentially a passionate desire, a natural part of our soul, and that's not a good choice.

Or we go down the track of, "I want to feel angry with AJ because I want to have this spirit with me. I don't believe AJ. I'm not going to test anything he says, I just don't believe him. I'm going to go on my merry way." We feel angry with the person telling us the information, but that's really not going to be very conducive because in the end all that's going to happen is we'll get our addiction met. And if our addiction gets met, who's going to progress? Neither the spirit nor ourselves.

The third option is what Mary suggested. Understand you still have a desire, but refine it in love. Allow it to be refined through a process that is going to cause you to become more loving. Can you see that even greater than the desire for mediumship, I need to have a desire for refining my own soul? We can have a desire for mediumship, but even greater than that desire, we need to create a desire within us to refine our own soul so that our mediumship is pure and enjoyable for everyone, not only just ourselves. [00:52:39.00]

2.5. Focusing on a relationship with God first to refine mediumship

The fastest way to refine our soul is by getting closer to God, and the fastest way to do that is by the process that you're learning – humility, truth and love in this relationship with God first. Most people don't yet really understand this basic truth: if you put first your relationship with God, every other desire that you have will automatically become refined, and it will automatically be exposed to you, and your life will automatically become more enjoyable.

Many of us put our passion and desire ahead of God and even ahead of refining our own soul. We end up with some of our desire mixed in with a lot of addictions, and that's the danger in mediumship or in any other passion that we have. We can have the same danger in the arts, we can have the same danger in any other thing we choose to do, and this is where if we have a focus on God first, our desire for a relationship with God first, it's going to pull us through any trauma or trouble that we receive along the way.

There are many mediums on the planet who have a desire for mediumship first, and those people sit in back areas of town generally, in their little booths, dishing out half-truths to people because they don't have a developed enough soul to attract a spirit who can give full truth. They dish out half-truths for $25 to $100 an hour, or maybe even more depending on how well known they are. That's not a very pure way to use your mediumship, but it's certainly an option if you want to go that way. And this is where we'll end up if we don't address some of these addictions.

Participant: I've been in a conversation with a woman and an emotion gets triggered in me and then ooh, some mediumship is coming on. Then I want to tell them about their unlovingness.

And all that is you wanting to avoid how you just felt.

Participant: Yes.

The spirit with you is not a Celestial spirit; he's just helping you avoid how you feel and helping you give the woman what for. In other words, let's give the woman a punch in the arm and see how that goes now that she's punched me in the arm. That's the feeling, right? And it can only get worse. That's how wars start, isn't it? It's exactly what we're doing oftentimes with our brothers and sisters. [00:56:07.26]

Participant: In general, AJ, when you're saying desire for God will bring in harmony all other desires, you're also saying that desires will benefit all?

Yes, real desire exercised purely will not just benefit yourself. You'll receive huge amounts of joy from it yourself, but a pure desire exercised in a pure loving manner will always benefit other people as well. Let's say you're a passionate artist. You have become an extremely good artist; people look at your paintings and they feel all that emotion. It's benefiting not just yourself. You're getting joy out of everyone enjoying your art, but it's not only benefiting yourself. It benefits every single person who comes in contact with your art. That's a true passion. Same with music, same with mediumship, same with any other passion that we could ever have. Anything that's a pure passion benefits far more than just ourselves.

2.6. Common emotions in women at the mediumship sessions

Shall we look at the women stuff?

Mary: This was mainly about the wounded women spirits who come. Almost all the women in the group actually agree with their viewpoint, so it goes back to that righteous anger place, or the false compassion place, where we tacitly agree that they shouldn't have to deal with the pain and become more loving. So group members are supporting the viewpoints of these women. That was the main issue for the women.

Participant: It's a big one.

Mary: It is a big one not just for the group, probably for society and the world.

Participant: That's enough to work on.

What you've got to do as women is look at your hurt that you have with men in particular, and rather than justifying it even to yourself, start looking at the fact that there is a huge amount of grief in it that you need to allow yourself to feel. Many of you have a huge amount of fear about feeling this grief because you feel that if you feel the grief, the men will be able to hurt you again. We convince ourselves that if we feel our anger and release it all, that leaves an opening for somebody to do the same damage to us again. We believe that the anger is protective.

Mary: It's like the barbed wire fence around us. If we get rid of it, oh my gosh, then I'm going to be soft and vulnerable with men and what might they do?

"They'll attack me." The reality is that in your life you will receive far more attack when you are in a state of anger with men than you're ever going to receive when you're in a state of softness with men. But none of you believe that yet because many of you are doing exactly the opposite. And when I say that none of you believe that, literally none of you believe that if you become soft and vulnerable and open and take risks with men you're actually going to be in a safer place than if you keep the barbed wires up. [01:00:04.01]

And this is immaterial of your sexual orientation. This is something you believe about men and it's exactly what these spirits believe about men by the way, exactly the same thing. They believe that if you become open and vulnerable and put your defences down that's when you get hurt; that's what they believe.

Mary: And the other thing I'm feeling to talk about is about what happens then, because all of us women have that same injury. As soon as a woman takes a step to take down the barbed wire, she not only faces her own fear but there is a huge pressure from other women to...

To put the barbed wire fence up.

Mary: ... to put the barbed wire fence back up. That she's being weak, that she's actually going to be controlled by the man, that she's just setting us back fifty years in terms of women's lib and you know all of this kind of projection, and that's a very unloving thing to project at your sisters. But also to be aware that many times the reason we don't shift on this issue is not just about our unfelt grief and stuff with men, but it's also the terror we have of women.

Every time barriers come down in our relationship and there's more risk taking, Mary gets attacked on the internet by other women saying that I'm controlling her. Every single time. If you really knew Mary you would understand that she's not able to be easily controlled (Laughter) and that's one of the things I love about her. She receives a lot of attack from women the instant that she reduces the barrier within herself towards me.

Mary: And sadly that is where I'm at now. This is one of the biggest blocks I have. I'm really afraid of women, and I'm working on that feeling.

And this is a camaraderie feeling between women...

Mary: ... the sisterhood.

The sisterhood. This is something our spirit friends have been talking about to us for months now. This sisterhood is basically saying, "Don't any other woman have a different opinion to me because if you do, you've betrayed the whole female gender. You've betrayed us." Often a woman who changes receives more rage from other women than she does from other men. Many of you women see it in men. You know the man who goes out fishing and he's away from his wife half of his life, he's out doing his thing with his mates, what's the feeling in you? That he loves his mates more than he loves you. And the reality is that you're dead right, many times he does.

Also when he spends more time with you, what do his mates say? "You're under the thumb, getting pushed around by the woman again." [01:03:52.26]

Mary: The handbrake; she's the handbrake. (Laughter)

More derogatory remarks are generally made. Now you can see that happening in men, yet you're often not seeing that happening between yourselves. This is also happening between yourselves, but it's a different kind of pressure to the mateship thing. It's a sisterhood pressure, and it actually helps the genders remain aloof from each other. In the Celestial heavens there is not a single meeting, a single event that doesn't have both men and women involved. There is no baby shower without men there. There's no buck's night. (Laughter) There are no hen's nights, there's no women's group, there's no men's group.

Mary: It's something that we feel very passionate about; probably that's why we're raving on about it. This idea that only women understand women and men understand men is something that we feel so strongly is in error, and we really want to correct it.

I remember a year or two ago you were invited to a baby shower, remember?

Mary: More like three years ago.

Three years ago. Mary was invited to a baby shower and she really wanted to go, but she wanted me to come along, too. She rang up the person and said, "Look, I really want to come to your baby shower but I want to bring along AJ as well." And the answer was "No."

Mary: "No, it's traditional."

Now Mary really wanted to go.

Mary: Yes, and I said, "Okay, I'm sorry I can't come because I actually don't agree with having separate male/female things." She was a mother who was actually quite understanding and she said, "Look, if it weren't my best friend running the shower I'd agree with you. I hope my husband comes to the shower." So her feeling is, "I want men to be there too, but because of my best friend, who's a woman, I'm not allowed." I said, "I'm not going to come, have a great shower." Then her sister emailed me and was quite angry with me that I wasn't going to the shower. Can you see how much woman control of other women there was in that little interaction?

Participant: I've been doing a process on angry women and I realised the other day that when I was little I always had a pure desire that I wanted to be more than my mother. It was like an aspiration of wanting to be more. I feel like the projection that she felt was, "Who do you think you are? You're exactly like me." And this "Who do you think you are?" is a huge projection that I feel from women spirits, and I'm so scared to step out of the box and take risks because I just go, "Oh I can't." I'm still choosing not to cry because I'm in so much fear of the attack, but I was getting a bit rebellious, like "I'm going to do it anyway even if you're attacking me, I'm going to do this, I'm going to have fun and force it." To really just sit and feel the fear – I'm not there yet - to soften to the women.

When we respond in anger to it, it doesn't help. It's a matter of feeling it through.

Participant: First it was, "Go away," and now it is, "I don't care; you can be there, do whatever." But either way is not loving.

No.

Participant: A few things are bubbling around. When you said her excuse was "it's traditional," that's just a story. It's not the real reason. At least men openly talk about being under a woman's thumb. There's no way you're going to hear women actually saying, "We're actually anti-men." It's almost like we've got beliefs we've inherited that are very deep within us, that we're probably not even aware of, that drive this behaviour.

Yeah, that's true, you do. A lot of them are multi-generational injuries of a lot of terror. In the past many women have been treated very, very badly. As a result there is a lot of terror multi-generationally in women and fear about how men are going to treat them. Even a man running off doing his own thing feels like a rejection, even when he's not rejecting you. [01:09:15.11]

There's also the feeling in many women that if they break the mould they're betraying every woman. And this is what many women spirits are playing on – this fear that many women on Earth have that if they are a different kind of woman, all the other women will either be jealous of them, afraid of them, or angry with them, but never their friend.

Participant: So we have to desire to be a different woman, to have different beliefs.

Yes. Many of you have yet to really allow yourself to feel a Celestial spirit who's a woman. If a female Celestial spirit came and sat in front of you right now, the majority of you would instantly either be in a rage with her or be bawling your eyes out. The rage would come because you feel jealous about her condition, or you'd be in so much grief about how different she feels to how you feel that you'd automatically be crying.

Every Celestial spirit, male and female, generally has that same effect on people on Earth – either rage or grief, nothing in between. You can see that that's the general response I get; it's either rage or grief and nothing in between, right? (Laughter) And that's because when a person sits before you who's completely open to all sorts of emotional experiences, completely nonjudgmental about all of those experiences, but in harmony with truth, the only things you can feel are either jealousy and competitiveness with the person – therefore, anger – or the contrast with your own condition and straight into grief.

3. Common emotional injuries in homosexual people

Participant: Is there a multi-generational emotion with homosexual male souls that sides with the sisterhood emotion?

Yes.

Participant: Whenever you guys talk about the emotions with women, feelings that women have towards men, I'm, like, nodding my head. (Laughter)

Many homosexual males have a lot of issues with their mothers because generally during childhood they sided with their mothers. The homosexual male generally has a bit more softness in his soul towards the feminine and therefore, in the unhealed condition, is going to feel a bit more of an attraction to the mother than the father. When you're fully healed you will be masculine and have feelings of femininity in amongst that. It's the very same for lesbian couples, by the way. The key if you're a lesbian couple, or a homosexual person of any gender, is to stop separating yourself from the rest of society in terms of injuries and to start seeing that our injuries come from how we were brought up. In pretty much every case we have some severe injuries either from our mother or our father or from both that we need to address. Our sexual orientation doesn't create any differences in that regard with the exception that we have often one additional injury. There is a deep condemnation in society of homosexuality. It is a religious condemnation – Christianity, Buddhism the Muslim religion, and other religions on the planet... we are talking about the majority of mankind on the Earth who have a religious format. [01:13:45.20]

Mary: Even in Australia, the least religious country in the world, there are still a lot of Christian themes in our society.

If you think about it, this is why many homosexual people have difficulty with God. It's not because of God, it's the religion's viewpoint of homosexuality that causes the homosexual person to have a large degree of grief, which is often suppressed, about how they are being treated by society and by their own parents, and this affects their relationship with God or their beliefs about God.

My suggestion is to remember that a homosexual person generally has exactly the same set of injuries as the average person. It doesn't matter whether you're heterosexual or homosexual, you have mother- and father-based injuries that need to be worked through. But you have two additional injuries given to you by society because of society's very terrible viewpoint of homosexuality, a viewpoint that is religious in nature in almost all cases. They are telling you that you can never connect to God while you're homosexual. An additional emotional injury is a general feeling of rejection by society. These two injuries are the cause of much of your internal grief, do you understand?

A good 80% to 90% of people are naturally heterosexual. As a result of this and the terrible condemnation of homosexuality because of the fear of it, mankind has created these two additional injuries for a homosexual individual. But remember that all of the other injuries are pretty much identical to any other person that might have been brought up in the same situation with some little twists here and there because of who you sided with when you grew up. [01:15:51.28]

Participant: In a case similar to myself, if a heterosexual man had sided with women he might feel quite similar to me?

Yes, very similar to you, and in fact you may even be attracted to him because he's feeling exactly the same as you even though he's a heterosexual man. If you think back at some of your attractions with heterosexual men, you can see that many of them had the same feelings towards women that you had.

We grew up with individual emotional issues through our environment, and our environment was dominantly our mother and father. Dominantly it was our parents that brought us up so they are the ones that have the major impact upon our emotional issues.

However, there are some parts of society that have issues to address in addition to the individual ones, and there are some spirits in the spirit world that have additional issues to address. Those additional issues have to do with the dominant belief of society imposed upon that group of people. For example, a homosexual person has what I've just mentioned, these two dominant things. Most homosexual people on Earth and in the spirit world have the injury of "I can't connect to God if I'm homosexual because the religion condemns me," and then the other injury of general rejection by society.

Look at it historically. Look at being a black man in America, particularly in the 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's. What would have been your additional emotional injury? There's all this rejection - every single day rejection, rejection, rejection. Imagine you were an Indian person of the class of the untouchables. Every day you're in a latrine or a sewer, cleaning it out for other people. You barely have enough to eat. Every single day it's like that for all your life.

The injuries that a homosexual carries are no different to the injury of the "untouchable" man. They are very similar rejections. He's being rejected by society and he's also being told that he's not even worthy to connect to God, almost the same kind of rejection that a homosexual person is receiving.

We need to understand this if we're going to help our spirit friends who are in dark places because of these projections. We need to come to understand that many people have had far more emotional impositions upon them than we ourselves have had. We're quite fortunate that we haven't had them because some of them are terrible, terrible impositions, and we need to learn to have compassion for all of those things. [01:20:23.20]

If there are some people on Earth who can understand that, then we have the ability to help all of those spirits. Every spirit in the spirit world who's ever been treated with racism, every spirit in the spirit world who's ever been told that they're no good, that they're going to be a slave for the rest of their existence, every spirit who has had all sorts of other problems including things like Down's Syndrome, autism, people who have been put in asylums for all of their life, never honoured, never respected, never considered, these people are going to have additional things that we need to help them with, and the only way that we can really help them is by connecting to their experience and understanding it.

So if an angry homosexual male comes along and wants to speak with us, he's not going to get much help if all we're going to do is condemn him or impose our religious beliefs upon him, or criticise him because he hasn't dealt with his mum stuff yet. "Why can't you connect to God? God's just there. Like, what's the problem?" If we have all this sort of condescending viewpoint towards him, we have no hope of helping him.

You know you, Kenny, are a member of a group of people who have been criticised constantly for their height, and you know how bad that is. Many people in this group still condescend to you, and one reason they do is that they feel this neediness you have, and they get condescending about it. Many of you when you think of Kenny feel condescending; you feel like he doesn't deserve your time because he's so needy, not understanding the life he's had.

He's had quite a bad life in comparison to many of you because of this issue – being put down a lot of his life, ignored a lot of his life because of that issue. You see, if we love our brothers and sisters, we will start seeing those things instead of going, "Oh, Kenny, I'm tired of dealing with Kenny, he's just so needy all of the time, it's exhausting." Instead of doing that, you'd have compassion with Kenny, you'd want to know why he's so needy, you'd want to say, "Kenny, you're a nice person, what's going on with this neediness?" And every time Kenny's needy with you, you go, "Kenny, you're being needy with me again," just to help him understand what he's doing. But you wouldn't condemn him for it.

It's the same with our spirit friends and it's the same with society generally – we'd have a lot more love rather than condemnation. [01:23:25.20]

Participant: I'm a heterosexual person, I'm in a non marginalised group mainly, but I found that I was carrying a lot of beliefs about homosexuality. When I became friends on the path with people who are homosexual, I found I had a lot of repentance to do to change some of those beliefs. And the same is true, is it not, for all of those marginalised groups?

Yes.

Participant: So we're all holding those beliefs.

Yes. The whole reason they're marginalised and feel terrible is that society generally, all of us people who are "normal", who think we're "normal," we have marginalised the people who are not "normal" and therefore all of us have played a part in their rejection.

Participant: And still are.

... and still are, unless we work through the emotion, and this is all part and parcel of our work that we need to do. If we're going to become good mediums, can you see how the work we do on ourselves is of primary importance?

4. Closing words

We would like you to consider what we've said tonight and try to put some of it into practice in your personal lives. If you do, you'll find that the times you get together for mediumship nights are going to be far more enjoyable, and you'll learn a lot more by the process of experimenting. If we could just encourage you to really feel that you would like to become more loving with how we treat each other, and to notice when we're not, to make a commitment internally to notice when we're not. To notice when we're trying to justify our anger.

Mary: We might find this path because we have some desire to grow in love and to love humanity or serve humanity. Then often when we're confronted with the truth about what's inside of us, or the universe even, I notice a lot of people can get stuck in anger and quickly lose sight of the reason they were drawn to the path in the first place. If you can just be humble to those things and recall your desire, those pure desires that are within you, and have faith in yourself and God that you can actually live in those desires, through that process you'll become humble. You will become humble if you really want those things.

4.1. Developing faith in the ability to change

And also develop faith in God that you can change. Some of us feel quite disillusioned about change. We look back on our life and often we haven't changed very much. We're plugging away, looking at things, but sometimes not much change happens. We need to at least have some faith that we can change before we will actually change, and it's important to try to hold onto this faith.

There are many influences around you, both on Earth and in the spirit world, that would love to cause you to believe that you can't change, that you're consigned to your current condition, current life, current happiness or unhappiness for the rest of your existence. Because of this belief, many spirits are in the hells of the spirit world. Or they are Earth-bound – they don't want to go to the spirit world because they believe they can't change. If we can have some faith ourselves that we can change, when we talk to our spirit friends, our faith that we can change will make them feel like they have the ability to change too. That is going to encourage them, as you can imagine. [01:28:02.13]

Mary: And the more you act in faith that you can change, the more you really act on these principles we talk about, the more your faith will grow as well because you see it start to work. Our spirit friends keep giving me this picture of the bonfire, all of them standing around the bonfire, so it's obviously a big desire for them.

4.2. Developing love for others

We would like to encourage you in closing to practise love with each other. Practise love with each other rather than just talking about love and acting out of harmony with it, do you see? We can start really practising love with each other, noticing when we're unloving and going, "Yes, I need to address this issue and it's urgent for me to address this issue." Many of you feel a lack of urgency to address the unloving issues.

We often have conversations when people say, "Now you're expecting me to become more loving." I go, "Yeah." (Laughter) "That's why I thought we were here, right?" And when I say expecting I don't expect anyone to become more loving, but obviously we're here because we want to learn more about love, yet often we almost justify our being in the unloving condition. Often I receive emails from people saying, "You want me to be more advanced than I am." I write back to them, "Well, God wants you to be perfect actually, so why wouldn't you want to be more advanced than you currently are? I don't understand what's the problem."

4.3. Becoming perfect as God created us to be

We want to inspire you with this last thought: We all have the ability to be perfect. God created you with the ability to become perfect. If you receive Divine Love and you connect with God and you work through the issues of humility and truth, you will become perfect. Don't accept imperfection.

Many of us accept imperfection. We almost justify imperfection. One email I got this week said, "You know I'm a work in progress; that's why I'm projecting anger at you, I'm a work in progress. How you can expect me to be any different? You're a work in progress, too." You know what I wrote back? "The difference between me and you is that I never justify inside of myself an angry projection at another person just because I'm a work in progress." [01:31:20.06]

If you can, remember that your Father desires you to be as He created you to be.

Mary: He has the knowledge that you can be.

Yeah, He has the knowledge that you can be that. Often we don't believe we can be when we start this process. But remember and have faith that God only creates perfect things, and all we need to do is allow God to help recreate us or rebirth us into becoming the perfect thing. Don't accept or justify imperfection within yourself. You do need to allow it in the sense that you do need to know that you have it, you do need to stop condemning yourself for having it, and you do need to love yourself even though you have it. I'm not suggesting to not do any of those things, but I am saying not to justify the fact that you have it.

Participant: It's like "doing my best."

"I'm now doing my best, you've all got to put up with me." The reality is that none of us should ever have to put up with another person being unloving, and the fact that we do is a gift that we give to the other. If I'm unloving and Mary still loves me, she's giving me a gift of her love.

Mary: And if I love, I'll desire to do that as well.

If I justify "I'm a work in progress, and that's why I punched you in the nose," I am now justifying staying in an unloving condition, which is a very unloving thing to do. So we'd ask you to consider what you might look like when you're perfect and actually hold onto that in your imagination. That's what you're working towards. Think about and feel about what it might feel like to be perfect, what it might feel like to interact with other people, and what it might feel like to be at-one with God. You might not know what it's like; just imagine what it might feel like, and hold onto the faith of obtaining that condition. Then whenever something unloving happens within you, instead of condemning it, you'd at least notice it, and you'd go, "This is not perfect. Okay, so what am I going to do about that?" At least you are now noticing things and allowing yourself to develop in love, and you have a chance of change when you do that. If you justify the imperfection, can you see that there's not much chance of changing from that state?

I hope you enjoy what you're doing over the next few months and embrace those passions and desires because I feel that if all of us do that, we have a great ability to change everything around us, not just our own life, but we can touch lots and lots of people's lives. Thank you, everyone. (Applause)

