ON AN INTERVIEW ON FOX & FRIENDS
THIS MORNING DONALD TRUMP SAID
SEVERAL TIMES THAT THE LATEST
REPUBLICAN HEALTH-CARE BILL
DIDN'T PASS BECAUSE THE SENATOR
WHO WOULD HAVE VOTED YES WAS IN
THE HOSPITAL.
YEAH.
(LAUGHTER)
THAT IS TRUMP'S EXCUSE.
I'M SORRY, WE CAN'T TAKE AWAY
OBAMACARE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ONE
OF OUR SENATORS IS CURRENTLY
USING OBAMACARE.
THE SENATOR WHO TRUMP WAS
REFERRING TO WAS MISSISSIPPI
REPUBLICAN THAD COCHRAN AND
AFTER TRUMP'S INTERVIEW COCHRAN
TWEETEDDED, GET THIS, THIS IS
TRUE, THAT HE WASN'T IN THE
HOSPITAL AT ALL AM I DON'T WANT
TO SAY THE PRESIDENT HATES BEING
WRONG BUT WHEN REPORTERS TOLD
TRUMP THAT COCHRAN WASN'T IN THE
HOSPITAL, TRUMP WAS LIKE OKAY,
WE'LL SEE.
IN OTHER TRUMP NEWS, FAMILY
NEWS, IT WAS REVEALED TODAY THAT
THE REASON DONALD TRUMP, JR.
GAVE UP HIS SECRET SERVICE
DETAIL EARLIER THIS MONTH WAS TO
GO MOOSE HUNTING IN CANADA.
YEAH.
HE JUST, HE JUST DITCHED HIS
SECRET SERVICE AND DISAPPEARED
INTO THE WILDERNESS OF CANADA.
TO WHICH MELANIA SAID WAIT, YOU
CAN DO THAT?
(LAUGHTER)
APPARENTLY HE WENT HUNTING WITH
HIS FRIENDS AM BUT YOU SHOULD
KNOW DONALD, JR. DOESN'T SHOOT
THE MOOSE, HIS FRIENDS JUST USE
HIM AS MOOSE BAIT.
I THINK WE'VE GOT A PHOTO.
(LAUGHTER)
I'M KIDDING.
DONALD, JR. ACTUALLY HAS A VERY
UNUSUAL HUNTING TECHNIQUE.
WHAT HE DOES, HE GOES UP TO THE
MOOSE, EXPLAINS HIS FATHER'S
VISION FOR AMERICA AND THEN THE
MOOSE KILLS IT SELF.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
NOW "THE NEW YORK TIMES" IS
REPORTING THEY DID BAG A MOOSE
AND DONALD, JR. SAYS HE PLANS TO
DISPLAY ITS HEAD ON THE WALL
RIGHT NEXT TO HIS THIRD PLACE
TROPHY FOR FAVORITE SON.
AND THIS IS THE--
(LAUGHTER)
THIS IS A CRAZY STORY.
SO CRAZY I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
SAYING IT OUT LOUD, OKAY.
BUT THE RAPPER B.O.B. HAS
STARTED A GO FUND ME CAMPAIGN TO
BUY SATELLITES HE CAN LAUNCH
INTO SPACE SO THAT HE CAN PROVE
THE EARTH IS FLAT.
(LAUGHTER)
NOW HERE'S MY QUESTION.
IF YOU ACTUALLY THINK THE EARTH
IS FLAT HOW ARE YOU SMART ENOUGH
TO SET UP A GOFUNDME PAGE.
HE SET A FUNDRAISING GOAL OF
$200,000 TO PROVE THAT THE GLOBE
ISN'T A GLOBE.
WHICH IS AN OUTRAGE US AMOUNT OF
MONEY FOR SOMETHING SO STUPID IN
FACT, PEOPLE ARE GETTING QUITE
UPSET ABOUT THIS GOFUNDME PAGE
AND TOLD HIM, THEY SAID B.O.B.,
HEY, GO FUND YOURSELF.
THANK YOU.
AND FINALLY,
(APPLAUSE)
FINALLY TONIGHT, WE COULDN'T
MOVE ON WITHOUT MENTIONING THE
PASSING OF A CULTURAL ICON.
LAST NIGHT HUGH HEFNER PASSED
AWAY AT THE AGE OF OF 8991.
NOW MANY OF YOU KNOW, HUGH
HEFNER IS THE WORLD RENOWNED
230U7BDER OF "PLAYBOY" MAGAZINE,
FOR THOSE YOUNGER PEOPLE IN THE
AUDIENCE, A MAGAZINE IS LIKE AN
APP THAT YOU CAN-- IT'S LIKE AN
APP BUT YOU FOLD IT, YOU CAN
FOLD IT, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
AND TODAY IT WAS REPORTED THAT
HEFNER WILL BE LAID TO REST IN A
MAWS LEE UP RIGHT NEXT TO
MARILYN MONROE, SAYING HE WILL
BE BURIED IN THE BACK OF THE
DRAWER UNDERNEATH THE UNDERWEAR
