We have known each other,
I would say, 30 years?
Oof.
Maybe that long.
More?
Yeah.
One of the first people I
worked with and saw out here
doing stand-up.
And, well, I was just
telling you earlier how
I've been a great guy lately.
[LAUGHTER]
And I went to-- the two big
things I've done recently
is I went to a
benefit for Haiti,
and I went to your party.
And the benefit for Haiti was
another star-studded event
that I don't even know
if I told you about.
But you know Sean Penn has
it because of the Haiti
earthquake.
So--
Yes.
--I go there.
And when you go to these things,
you might have heard of this,
they have auction items.
And if there's some people
there, they sort of rich
shame you into buying a lot
for these auction items, which
helps everything so
it's all in good fun.
But the first time I
went, I bought two tickets
to Paul McCartney, front
row, and they were $125,000.
So that's how they get you.
Oh, my god.
They really get you.
It was pretty fun, and
I didn't put up a fight.
I mean, their face
value was maybe $800,
so it's a bit of a marl-up.
[LAUGHTER]
A little bit of a
gouge, but that's fine.
[LAUGHTER]
But then I go, when does
Paul McCartney go on tour?
They go, no plans to.
I go, oh, hmm, interesting.
So anyway this time
I went a little late.
And there's all
the people there,
and they're auctioning off Game
of Thrones, the show, the girl,
Amelia Clark, it's her.
And she watches an
episode with you.
So this is great, beautiful
girl, everyone loves the show.
And I go, maybe I'll throw
$5,000 in this to show off,
you know?
Bidding starts at $30,000.
[LAUGHTER]
I'm like this.
I'm immediately out.
They go around the horn.
And by the way, if I won,
it would have been a drag.
She'd have to watch the pilot
again because I've never
seen the show.
[LAUGHTER]
So she'd have to struggle
through that again with me.
But luckily I didn't.
And then there's Brad Pitt,
super, great-looking Brad Pitt.
And he gets up to $130,000.
This is him, $130,000.
And you know she's
over there, oh!
Of course, obviously, it's him.
And then it goes going
once, going twice.
And then this Harvey Weinstein
knockoff goes, $160,000.
And she goes, what?
And they go, sold, $160,00.
She goes, wait, no!
No!
No!
No!
Uh-uh!
It was-- it was him.
It was-- don't sell it yet.
OK, you're $130,000, Brad.
I'll kick in $30,000.
That's $160,000.
We're all good here.
We don't need--
[LAUGHTER]
So, yeah, that's
where I've been.
Wow, you're doing a lot.
You've been busy.
We're going to take a break.
And I have to say
goodbye to you.
You're done.
I'm going to send you away.
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE]
Yeah, but that's
for something else.
Oh, OK.
Oh, that's it?
OK.
Well, thank you, guys.
Wait a minute!
No.
Wait.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
Not yet?
I've been doing
this show 15 years.
I know how to go out smoothly.
- OK, good.
You do it smoothly.
You can catch David at the
Mirage in Vegas with Ray
Romano-- oh, that'll
be a fun show--
February 23rd and 24th.
And thank you for being
here, David Spade.
