Q: Understand.
Q: Yeah.
Q: So that's fine.
The one thing that I have
never seen written about
that you have done that I
thought was extraordinary
I mean, you handled that as amazing,
JR: The thoughts were that I
am not gonna do a monologue
when the whole country
is in utter bereavement
and there's a major fight in
the dressing room about it
and the producers said, "No,
no, this is the Carson formula.
And I just came out and said
what we all were feeling
but jokes are not fine.
Q: Yeah, I mean it just,
NBC never mentioned it again
They never told you when you were right.
it was just, there were non-comments,
Who cares?
Q: That's true.
Q: Yeah, okay.
Q: Yeah, well it really made, you know,
and you don't forget something like that,
Anyway, onto other things.
Kind of an open-ended question here.
I think I have more energy
than any one of my friends.
JR: Everybody's endured.
Q: 31.
JR: You've gone through something already.
But then the good part of celebrity
is to get almost a hundred
thousand condolence notes
but you also got the
comfort of the public.
Q: True, but I don't know.
you know, without
JR: Private.
Q: people knowing, yeah.
we just, and you do.
Q: Yeah.
Okay.
to say some of the things
Truth.
I only think, I say what I truly think
But thank God, knock on
wood, a lot of people do, so.
(laughing)
So you can't change.
I think one of the
reasons they do like me,
I always say exactly what
I truly think and believe,
JR: She was a house.
Q: Right.
JR: I mean, she needed, you know,
at that point.
Q: Uh huh (laughing).
But you later went back or did,
did you apologize for those things?
Am I remembering that correctly?
JR: Not apologize.
Q: Uh huh.
JR: And then when she got thin,
that it was a whole drug thing
Then you're not dealing with
someone that's just funny.
Q: Is the mutual friend
somebody that's known?
JR: Roddy McDowall.
Q: Oh, okay.
Q: Uh huh, I see.
Oh, all right.
How about the new show?
I just came from a meeting.
No, no, no, not at all.
No.
Just as sassy as ever, I hope.
JR: Because we got very
good numbers last week.
Q: How many stations are
picking up the show now?
JR: 144.
JR: No, oh no.
'cause people are used to
seeing you at a certain time.
Q: Yeah.
Q: I will.
It's interesting 'cause,
if I'm remembering this correctly,
I think you moved into the spot
that they canceled "Regis and Kathie Lee"
are probably not the same people
JR: That was so much fun.
That was terrific television.
Q: Yeah.
would have badgered
Angela Bowie a little bit
and I didn't think you did that at all.
Q: Yeah.
Is that a mistaken impression on my part?
I was so glad for how,
and we were also having fun too.
to say what she said?
JR: No, 'cause it was all in the notes.
Q: Yeah, but wouldn't the Joan Rivers
that I've come to know
You know, and they're
identifying with the guest.
I enjoy daytime more because
you really can do both.
Q: Mm hmm, okay.
One of the, we have an article coming up
and he was talking about
that the daytime talk shows
Q: And tell you exactly what he said.
JR: He doesn't like me to begin with.
Q: Oh, okay.
Well, he starts the quote with a quote,
quoting you saying, "This is crazy.
"Why aren't these people in jail?"
And it says, "Joan Rivers is incredulous.
"She is outraged and no wonder.
"She has just heard three
divorced parents charge
"of the other parent.
"and perpetuated child
stay with the bad parent.
"Rivers is beside herself,
"her face twisted into an
expression of intense suffering.
"Talk show court, the TV
phenomenon of the 80s."
Then it says, "Lose in real court,
and you know if they're
telling you the truth or not.
or lawyer's trick or something.
You know what I'm saying.
Or we didn't file on time
that caused what happened to happen.
No, I don't do that unless
I really believe what I'm talking about.
JR: If they can be, it should be.
and they're coming on with
the stepfathers as a rebuttal.
Q: Okay, so--
JR: I think, again, he's
a man and I'm a woman
and when I sit with the mothers
I'm telling you we're right
and judges that will not
allow the words sexual abuse
to come into the courtroom,
Let me--
Puts your brain back to work.
Q: Do you feel, I imagine
you feel qualified.
JR: Well, I don't know if I'm
qualified as a journalist.
JR: I'm not any stupider than Oprah.
Q: Yeah.
If people knew you privately,
JR: Stupid.
that, at least 50% of it is a put-on,
that you're a little more relaxed at home.
That's why they're your friends.
Q: But even, but they're
your friends even if,
your friends when you
don't want to be funny
and they're your friends
if you're depressed.
I mean, of course.
JR: You did a lot of research.
and one of the things
that it was describing
was your brand of comedy
and it talked about how you made yourself
the victim of all your jokes.
JR: I'm not really, when you see my act
a lot of it still is, "I'm not
attractive," which is true,
and, I can't, a lot of
if I am still the victim.
But in the beginning,
when I first started out,
That was a very easy
label for them to give
It's a great label.
(laughing)
They just didn't know
what to call me.
Oh, she's a female Woody Allen.
be compared to the best.
JR: (mumbles) Tiffany's.
What else?
Interestingly, another
thing that I came upon
may be the one area where burning bridges
doesn't mean anything.
JR: Yeah.
I think if they want you,
Nobody, when they say, the joke is,
JR: And we all know that.
Q: Do you think that,
Q: Yeah?
JR: Stranger things have
happened in our business.
You know that.
JR: In different ways, oh sure.
Q: (laughing) So if you can make 'em money
or do some good for them,
they'll be happy to have you back?
JR: Of course.
Q: The last thing that I read about
Yeah, it's sort of a "USA Today" format,
"Parade Magazine" that's
in some newspapers,
and basically it said that you
had actually tried to
contact Carson beforehand.
JR: Oh, of course.
Q: Why do you think that part
of the story never got out?
I was going into direct
competition with the,
"This is a wonderful girl.
JR: It's a business and
millions of dollars.
Each rating point is millions of dollars.
You know that.
Q: Yeah, but it's hard to believe--
in and take six rating points away.
Q: Yeah, yeah.
I guess it's just hard to fathom
that it's that cutthroat, you know.
JR: Oh, you know, I'll do a show.
When I was on "The Tonight Show"
and someone would come on to plug a movie
and if it wasn't on NBC,
That's still true, although,
yeah, they seem to make jokes about it.
But sure.
Nobody's there for entertainment except
the poor, stupid entertainers like me.
They're all there because it's a business.
Q: Yeah.
Not at all, huh?
JR: Not at all.
Q: Oh, okay (laughing).
JR: I remember there was a
big reason why I went back.
or did everybody say,
"Geez, get back."
JR: I had no advisors.
I had nobody.
Q: Yeah.
Yeah.
JR: I didn't want to, A,
I didn't want to give her my problems.
Back to your show.
If you were gonna say what
makes your show different
from the other daytime shows,
aside from you, obviously,
is there something different?
JR: We're not one topic.
We're much more fun.
And you get everything.
You get the seriousness of Oprah
and the fun of Regis.
You get it all mixed into one
We're gonna bring Kirk
Douglas out in a second.
Q: Uh huh, okay.
JR: Hysterical.
'cause it's just, some of
you get a handle for a story.
Q: Uh huh.
Okay.
I grow, of course, I
change when I perform.
I hope in five years
I'll be different again.
Obviously, it changes.
and a middle Georgia O'Keeffe
and a late Georgia O'Keeffe.
but it's by working every day.
Hmm.
Now I think about it.
I mean, hopefully I'm writing differently
JR: And you're praying you can understand,
"Oh, this one's snowing me now."
Q: Yeah.
I mean, you hope these
things are evolving.
Q: Arsenio, who replaced you,
what do you think of him?
since I made him my guest host on Fox.
I think there was such a void.
They needed somebody young
and, quote unquote, hip.
Q: You don't think Letterman fills that?
(laughing)
I like seeing everyone
thinks he's funny.
Q: So now that you've seen Arsenio do this
JR: No, no.
Q: It's not correct
or they were?
JR: It is correct.
Q: Oh, it is correct.
JR: I was waiting for half of my ratings.
JR: I don't know.
Q: The thing about him, you know,
but they, you know, they react.
Arsenio is, to me, like
milquetoast, you know.
JR: He's becoming the way the others are.
Q: Yeah, well.
JR: That was, nobody,
Always so frightened
Q: Yeah, but hell.
If they look at what you've gone through,
you know, just career-wise, you know.
They gotta say, you know, it's just better
somewhat honest in your life, I think.
Q: Okay.
Two other things.
JR: Yeah.
Q: Okay.
JR: Isn't that nice?
Q: Yeah, it's--
JR: I'm originally from New York
Well, you know what, I come back.
You know.
You have to enjoy that kind of life.
and successful work, which
the show has turned out to be,
JR: It's great.
Q: The last thing I wanted to ask you is,
and keep all the good
parts, would you do that?
JR: Oh, of course.
Q: Yeah.
JR: Oh, absolutely.
then I would say, "No, I'll
go through the rough parts."
JR: Nonsense, nonsense.
I'd rather be in "Hello,
Dolly!" than the other one,
But she said that she learned
more as an actress from that--
JR: Oh yeah.
Q: And, okay, just one other thing
and that is--
JR: That's fine.
I'm in no rush.
Q: Oh, okay.
You want to tell people
anything about your show?
JR: It's funny, it's a good hour.
You get your money's worth.
Q: I'm married.
JR: Good.
Where's your wife from?
Q: Yeah, I would think.
Q: No, no.
I don't blame her.
But you've gotta move if
you're gonna get a good job.
You gotta keep moving.
JR: That's it.
I mean, that's the name of the game
Q: Yeah (laughing).
I think that one's a little ways away.
JR: The first book or
the first screenplay.
Then you can say, "And
he lives in Barbados."
Q: Was it hard for you to write the books?
I look at my friends
that knock something out
and I go, "Well, that's them."
JR: Energy.
I swear to God.
God gave me a lot of extra energy here.
(laughing)
I started to laugh 'cause I forgot that.
Q: (laughing) Well, that's
good to have a lot of energy.
JR: I look forward to seeing you there.
Q: Will Elizabeth Taylor
be making jokes about you?
get better in the hospital,
I'll send her a picture.
on the television show and, you know,
pizzas come in and fans send you food.
Q: Oh yeah?
JR: Today, somebody just
sent me wonderful cookies.
Q: Geez, you're in New York.
Aren't you afraid to eat what a fan sent?
"Have a cookie, dear."
(laughing)
Then we watch.
(laughing)
Q: That's quite all right.
JR: Bye bye.
Q: Bye bye.
