 
Softest Shadow

Tiffany Allen

Published by Tiffany Allen at Smashwords

Copyright 2016 Tiffany Allen

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This book is license for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Epilogue

Note from the Author

About the Author

Connect with the Author

Chapter 1

The crowd moves like a mass of slithering snakes. For some of the people, snake, is a perfect description for them. They move among the naïve mice, waiting to strike.

I watch the market from my perch on the steps leading up to the bridge. The people scurry about as the cars zoom by above. For the most part, these people run legitimate businesses. The fruit and vegetable stands, the handmade wooden puzzles, the wind chimes made from old silverware and wine bottles; but among the real you can always find a fake.

My eyes roam the crowd, looking for the snakes. There's four of them today. One is selling jewelry, claiming they are real precious stones. Another is selling instruments that will break in a week or two. A third is selling an "organic" compound that is supposed to keep your hair soft and vibrant. The last is the smartest in my opinion. He's selling "genuine" fossils. All the years I have watched people be swindled, it's always the ones who offer a unique rare product to a vast range of people, who prosper. It's just logical.

Kids run straight to his stand in the hopes they'll see a fossil of a dinosaur. Dinosaurs like they've seen in the movies and on TV. Parents follow closely behind and contemplate how having a fossil on the mantle will up their cool factor and reputations among their peers. Whereas windchimes are unique, people tend to like the idea and then go make their own. It's a better conversation starter to say you actually made it but the fossils are different. Few would actually go out and dig for hours, days, weeks, in the hopes of finding one. It's a lot easier to buy the polished pieces before them.

I tire of watching the snakes and move to the mice. They bump into each other, cut each other off, all running around in a hurry to get what they want. The nice ones just end up getting shoved around by the more aggressive ones. One of the mice catches my attention.

It's a girl, early twenties, long brown hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She's hanging back from a stall, patiently waiting for the others to finish. I watch as someone leaves the stall and she moves forward only to be cut off by another person. She goes back to patiently waiting, not a hint of irritation on her face. I continue watching her as she makes her way through the market. She walks with her bag tucked close to her so it doesn't bump into anyone. Her eyes constantly move over the people around her. At first I think it's out of fear but as another person walks right into her path she nimbly avoids them and continues scanning the crowd. Most people are oblivious to their surroundings but this girl seems to focus on hers out of consideration for her fellow people. She won't make it very far in life like that. The world takes people like her, chews them up, and then spits them out. I've seen it happen countless times.

The girl is on her way out of the market now. She didn't even buy anything. I wonder why she came at all. She's passing the last few stalls when one of them catches her eye. I see who it is and I pity her. It's another snake. A fifth one that I missed. He's signing up volunteers for local charities and shelters. They give their info over to him thinking he represents a mass volunteer collaborative that coordinates volunteers throughout the city. In reality he takes their information and depending on the person, either sells it or uses it for himself. You'd be surprised at what the little bit of info they give can get someone. A name, phone number, email address, all just steps to getting an address, and this particular snake is not someone who should have your address, especially a young pretty girl's.

I watch as she listens to his speech and feel an odd sense of relief when I see hesitation in her face, her gut telling her something is wrong. It doesn't last long though. I watch as she shakes off her worries and picks up the pen and clipboard.

I'm off the steps and behind her before the pen touches the paper.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I say as I take the clipboard from her hands. I see about twenty names on it already. Lots of do-gooders today apparently. She jumps and spins around to face me, her awareness of her surroundings failing her. She looks up at me with startled grey eyes. I take the pen from her hand and reach around her to lay both the pen and the clipboard on the table.

"What do you mean?" She asks, warily eyeing me and the stall owner. Her voice is soft but I sense strength behind it. It surprises me. I turn to the fake volunteer recruiter and stare at him with hardened eyes.

"Leave," I command him. He hurriedly starts packing up his stuff. I soften my eyes before turning back to the girl. "It's a scam. He steals peoples' information," I inform her. I watch as she debates my words before angrily turning to the snake.

"Is that true?" she demands, her eyes burn with purpose. I like it.

"I don't know what he's talking about," the snake lies. He continues to guiltily pack up his stuff. He reaches for the clipboard but she's faster. She takes the list of names and information before letting the clipboard fall back to the table.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," she says, her soft grey eyes burning with fire. Her ferocity amuses me, for someone so normally meek, she sure is something when riled up. She starts digging through her bag and pulls out a box of matches. Matches? Who is this girl? She doesn't smoke. I would have smelled it on her if she did. She goes to the nearby water fountain and places the paper in the basin; she strikes a match and sets the paper on fire. I watch in awe as she carefully blocks the wind so the flaming pieces don't blow around. When there is nothing but ash left, she holds the button and water spouts forth, completely destroying the ashes and any chances of the fire continuing.

By this time the snake is slithering away, his day of conning wasted. The girl turns to me. "Thank you," she says with a smile, the fire gone from her eyes.

"Don't mention it," I grumble. I turn around and walk away. I've had enough do-gooding for the day. I get ten feet before I hear the sound of running feet.

"Wait!" The girl calls, coming up next to me. I don't acknowledge her or slow my pace.

"Wait, let me thank you," she says, she's managing to keep by my side despite the crowd and my pace. I quicken my pace and she falls behind. I hear her "excuse me's" as she tries to remain considerate of the crowd but also trying not to lose me. I wonder what would be the first to go; her concern for others or her desire to thank me. I look behind me and see her struggling through the crowd. I duck behind the concrete support block of the bridge and watch as she carefully but speedily makes her way through the crowd. She bursts through; slightly red faced as she searches the pathway for me. She jogs by my hiding spot and I speak, "Looking for me?"

She jerks to a halt and turns around to face me. She's slightly out of breath, cheeks tinged red. She stares at me with her hands on her hips, regaining her composure.

"Why did you run off?" she asks, slight irritation in her grey eyes.

"Maybe I like being chased," I reply, giving her a wink. Her cheeks redden a bit more.

"I just wanted to thank you," she says, she doesn't look me straight in the eyes.

"Didn't you already do that?" I study her as she shuffles her feet nervously.

"I meant properly thank you," she says quietly. Her cheeks aren't red anymore, it's a shame.

"And how does one thank someone properly?"

"Well, I'd like to offer to buy you lunch." She's still avoiding eye contact.

"That sounds like more of a date than a thank you." A tiny part of me sparks with victory as her cheeks redden again.

"Will you accept my offer or not?"

Even though she's embarrassed, there's something else in her voice, determination to see this conversation though, despite my teasing. Admirable.

"Who am I to turn down a lady?" I give a small bow and motion for her to go first. "Lead the way."

She starts walking and I fall in beside her. We walk five blocks when I realize she has no idea where she's going.

"You have no idea where you're going do you?"

"What makes you say that?"

I can hear the defensiveness in her voice but her cheeks are tinged pink again.

"Just the fact that you are taking us into the industrial side of town where the closest you are going to get to food are the dumpsters."

"Oh," she says, coming to a stop.

"You're new to the city, aren't you?"

She looks at me guiltily.

"Is it that obvious?"

The way she moves among crowds, her innocence to the fake recruiter, her lack of knowledge of the city layout, yeah it was pretty obvious.

"Only a little bit." I turn in the opposite direction. "Come on, I know a place."

I lead her through downtown, past the boutiques and coffee shops to a little diner nestled between a bookstore and an art studio. I watch her out of the corner of my eye as she looks longingly at the bookstore. I knew I had read her right. I hold the door open for her and she thanks me as she walks inside. I follow closely behind.

The diner is a mix between modern and antique. The structure and layout is clean and white. The table and chairs are all hard angles and smooth surfaces. The light is old though. Antique lamps and chandeliers hang about the building; casting it in warm light and making the modern furniture seem cozy and inviting. Old paintings and mirrors decorate the walls. It's a unique contrast that might not necessarily work but it's charming.

"This is so cute," the girl says, a huge grin on her face. "I like the bookstore next door too."

I love being right.

The waitress sits us at a table near the back under one of the chandeliers. She "accidently" brushes my hand when she sets my menu down. She makes doe eyes at me and when she walks away she swings her hips, trying to draw attention to her rear end.

Market Girl watches her walk away and turns back towards me.

"I think she's flirting with you," she says. There's no jealousy in her voice.

"She's not my type," I shrug and wink at her again. She doesn't blush this time though. Damn.

"Have you been here before?" she asks as she browses the menu.

Only every week.

"A few times."

"Do you recommend anything?"

"Not really."

"Ooo-kay," she says, drawing out the word.

"I don't eat when I come here."

"What do you do then?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

She raises an eyebrow at me before returning to her menu. I wonder if she knows she bites her lip when she's thinking.

"You haven't told me your name," I say, head tilted to the side.

"Neither have you," she points out.

"Not very smart going someplace with a guy you just met and you don't even know his name." She stares at me a long time before going back to the menu. She knows I'm right.

"Natalie," she says without looking up.

"Nice to meet you," I smirk. She really is too trusting.

The waitress comes back and speaks directly to me, "Anything I can get for ya?" She bats her eyelashes.

"Ladies first," I say, nodding towards Natalie. She turns reluctantly to take her order.

"I'll just have a vanilla milkshake please," she orders politely. The waitress turns back to me.

"I'm fine, just bring two straws," I say, giving Natalie another wink. No blush again. Dammit, what am I doing wrong?

The waitress angrily flips her hair and sashays off.

"Why did you say that?" Natalie asks, her tone disapproving.

"Would you rather me let her flirt with me despite my lack of interest?"

"I just meant there's a nicer way."

"Nicer? You think I was mean?"

She shrugs.

"Did it not occur to you that as far as she knows, we are dating?"

"No," she answers quietly.

"In fact it would be the safe assumption that we are, so for her to blatantly flirt with a presumed taken guy would be rude if not blatantly mean wouldn't it?"

"I see your point but what if she didn't think we were dating?"

"Trust me, she did."

"How do you know?"

"I know people."

She doesn't reply. Just sits there playing with the silverware. She is obviously someone who likes to give people the benefit of the doubt. That's not uncommon but she'll end up used that way.

"Why do you carry matches with you?" I ask, changing the subject.

"I like to be prepared," she says quietly.

"Prepared for what?"

"Anything."

"Anything you say?" I smirk at her.

"Not everything," she says, cheeks blushing. Finally.

The waitress brings the milkshake with two straws. Natalie thanks her and she leaves without giving me even a glance. Natalie doesn't reach for the milkshake.

"Not thirsty?"

"No I am. I just think there's a good chance she spit in it."

I laugh at that. Maybe she isn't as naïve as I thought.

"So tell me why you moved to Portland," I say, taking the milkshake and drinking it myself. She gives me a look before answering.

"I was offered a job here."

"What kind of job?"

"Graphic Design."

"Interesting."

"Can I ask you a few questions?"

"I'm an open book," I reply. I push the empty glass back to the middle of the table.

"What's your name?"

Not being able to resist, I tease, "Handsome Stranger not good enough for you?"

She shakes her head no but she has a slight smile on her face.

"It's Jack," I say.

"Nice to meet you, Jack. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm in sales."

"What do you sell?"

"This and that. Depends on what people want."

"Do you like it?"

"I do."

"Have you lived in the city long?"

"The last four years. My turn. Why were you in the market this morning?"

"My coworkers said it'd be a good way to experience the city."

"They lied."

"What do you mean?"

"No one goes to the market to experience the city. They go there to make themselves feel less corporate."

"And get conned? How did you know that guy was a fake?"

"I've seen him around."

"Why did you help me?"

I hesitate before I answer. Because I was bored? Because I wanted a chance to intimidate someone? Because the angel on my shoulder was particularly loud this morning?

"I wanted a free milkshake," I smile at her, turning up my charm. It doesn't seem to affect her though. "Tell me, what made you think you could trust me?"

She bites her lip as she thinks about it.

"Your eyes."

That was the last thing I expected her to say.

"My eyes? She nods. "What about them?"

"My grandma always says eyes are the windows to the soul. When I looked into yours, my gut told me I could trust you."

"I think you might need glasses."

"Maybe I do, I'll have to wait and see."

Then she smiles at me. So blindly trusting, so naïve, so beautiful. I throw some money on the table and stand up.

"Well, it's been fun but I got to get going." I start to walk away.

"Wait! It was supposed to be my treat." She holds out my money for me to take.

"I never let a lady pay." I wink at her before turning and walking out of the diner.

______________

I watch from across the street as Natalie leaves the diner. She checks her phone before turning and entering the bookshop. Forty minutes later she emerges, a bag in each hand. I follow her as she makes her way back to her car. It's not too far from where the market was this morning. Surprisingly, she makes it there with only one wrong turn. She's a quick learner.

______________

It's almost 1 am and the street is deserted, the night quiet like a broken machine. I scan the neighborhood for light but all the houses are dark except for the one I sit watching. It's a considerably large house for someone who lives by themselves. It's in a nice neighborhood filled with families and old people. Many would kill to have this kind of real estate. Natalie's job must pay well.

After picking up her car, Natalie had driven to the store and bought groceries. After that, she stopped by an animal shelter before finally driving home. The animal shelter visit confused me. I assumed she was looking for a pet but when she got home, she was greeted by a black cat. I suppose she could be looking for another one. She'd stayed home the rest of the day. She picked up her house, made dinner, and watched a movie about some family overcoming some tragedy and living happily ever after. Now she lay in bed; reading one of the books she bought today. I just had to wait until she fell asleep.

I was contemplating taking my chances when her bedroom light went off. Finally. I adjust my eyes for the darkness and heighten my other senses. I can hear her steady breathing. She falls asleep fast. I scan the street before leaping out from my place in the tree and landing lightly on the ground. I make my way to the side of her house and into the backyard. I already figured out this was the best place to break in. It is fairly hidden and away from her bedroom which is in the front of the house. I go up to the window and let myself be consumed by the shadows. Then I wait. He doesn't leave me waiting long.

I hear his footsteps all the way down the block. He makes his way carefully into Natalie's backyard, going the same way I did. He rounds the corner and his face shines in the moonlight. There he is, the snake from the market.

Ever since Natalie had left the market he had been following her. I knew there was a good chance he would come after her after she burned his paper. He was notorious for crime and retaliation. He'd done a good job of tailing her. He kept out of sight and showed extreme dedication by waiting while we talked in the diner, while she went to the bookstore, the store, the shelter, and then finally home. I even figured he'd leave and come back at night but no, he stayed in his car down the street the whole time. I'd be impressed if I wasn't so irritated at having to spend the majority of my day sitting in a tree like a squirrel.

He made his way towards the window and towards me. His human eyes couldn't see me and I watched the evil gleam in his eyes, a gleam I knew well, as he reached for the window, thinking he'd won his prey. Before his fingers touch the window sill I emerge from the shadows and press my hand against his mouth, silencing his shout of terror. He instantly starts fighting and I shoot shadows towards his limbs, making him immobile. The shadows and I drag him further into the backyard. I let the shadows take the place of my hand and move away as they pin him to the earth. Panic shines in his eyes and the shadows slither over his face, making him struggle uselessly like bait in a trap. I move to crouch above him, part shadow, part man; all monster.

I hiss my words next to his ear, "What are you doing here?"

His terrified whimper is the only response he could give and the only one I want.

"You came to seek revenge, didn't you?"

Another whimper.

"There's nothing wrong with that."

This time there is no whimper.

"Are you surprised?"

He nervously shakes his head yes.

"Will you scream if I uncover your mouth?"

A nervous no. I retract the shadows from his face and he smartly stays silent. Good boy.

"I'm here to help you. Guide you with advice and wisdom if you will. Do you want to know what it is?"

Another nod.

"It's to leave. Scurry back to your little hole and forget about the girl in this house."

The evil gleam in his eyes flares back to life.

"That bitch-" he starts to say. I close my hands around his throat, cutting off his words and his air supply.

"Ah you see, I'm not asking, I'm telling."

I let the fires of hell shine in my eyes as I choke him and his evil gleam dies in the heat of my gaze.

"You see, normally, I'm all for the bad deeds but today I decided, against my better judgement, to help someone. Maybe it's fate trying to even out my karma or maybe I just like to shake it up a bit but either way that girl is off limits. So you will leave, and if you come back, I will find you. There will be no place you can hide. I will show you true pain and torment. Every second of your short life will be spent wishing for death and when I finally decide to grant you your wish, I will drag you down to hell where you will feel eternal suffering and you will wish you could taste my brand of pain again instead."

The smell of urine fills the air as he wets himself. Filthy human. I move my shadows away so they aren't tainted.

"Do you understand?"

He manages to nod yes. I release him and he scrambles to his feet and jets out of the backyard, fast as a mouse, running to his car and speeding away. I step back into the shadows and leave through them. If a human were to look at me right now all they would see is a pitch black shadow. The more in tuned ones might sense something and a shiver might run down their spine as goosebumps pebble their arms but their mind would tell them they were just being sill, it is just a shadow after all. I take one more look at Natalie's house before going home, teleporting from shadow to shadow. Finally I can get some sleep.

That human wouldn't bother her again. Humans like to think they are the top of the food chain, that they have nothing to fear, that they're no one's prey. Naïve little things that piss themselves in the presence of a true predator; because if they were mice and snakes, then we demons, were the birds of prey.

Chapter 2

A week later I was back in the diner, working. I sit, pretending to listen as the man in front of me explains what he wants. I always tune them out after the first few minutes. After thousands of years, you hear every wish, problem, want, and desire out there and the job gets boring. I wish someone would want something unique for a change, like a flying unicorn car, that'd be one I haven't heard yet.

I sense he is getting to the end of his story when a head of brown hair passes by the window and catches my eye. I turn and see Natalie enter the bookstore.

"Excuse me, are you listening to me?" The man in front of me snaps his fingers to get my attention. I slowly turn my gaze towards him, fixing him with a hard stare. Very few people have ever shown me that level of disrespect and even fewer have lived afterwards. I stand and grab my jacket, slinging it on.

"I'm afraid this deal is one I cannot make. Goodbye."

"But I was told you could do anything for the right price!" He's red in the face, must not be used to being told no.

"Just because I can doesn't mean I will, good day Mr. Connor."

I leave him sputtering at the table and make my way next door. I didn't expect to see Natalie again. Admittedly a part of me had wanted to see her again. Something about her intrigued me. I tell myself it is pure curiosity as I open the door to the bookstore and walk down the main aisle. I find her near the back where the plays are. She already has three books tucked between her body and her arm and is reading the back of another. Has she already read the books she bought a week ago? I don't mask my approach and her keen sense of awareness picks me up immediately even though she is reading.

"Jack," she says in surprise. "What are you doing here?" I take the books from under her arm and read the titles.

"Would it surprise you if I said I liked to read?"

She considers me a moment before answering.

"No but I would say that's not why you are here."

She really is smarter than I initially thought.

"I saw you come in here and wanted to see how city life was treating you."

"Well I'm getting lost less and less if that's any indication," she laughs.

"Victory is in winning the small battles," I say, giving her back her books.

"How's your job going?" she asks.

"Boring," I answer truthfully.

"Same here." She puts the fourth book with the others and adjusts the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "I'd love to stay and talk but I need to be somewhere in half an hour.

"Someplace better than with me?" I smile at her and she smiles back.

"I guess you could come with me if you wanted." She shrugs.

"Are you asking me out again?" I tease her and her cheeks blush slightly. Glad I can still do that.

"I wouldn't say the first time was a date and this wouldn't really be one either."

"Why is that?"

She looks at me and I see a glint in her eye.

"You'll have to wait and see."

______________

"The animal shelter?" I ask in confusion.

"Yep. Come on."

She hops out of the car and I follow her into the building. As soon as we walk through the doors, I can hear dogs barking. Why is that always a constant sound in places like this? There's an older woman sitting behind the main desk and she waves at Natalie.

"Hey Carla, I brought a helper." Natalie walks up and Carla hands her a piece of paper.

"Fantastic," she says. "Show him the drill."

"What drill?" I ask suspiciously.

Natalie just hands me the paper and I read the top line.

"Volunteer form?"

I look up and she's smiling.

"Yep. Fill it out and we can get started."

"What if I was allergic to animals?"

"Then you'd just have to suffer through it. Come on, hurry up and fill it out!"

She excitedly hands me a pen. Few people have ever told me to do something but this time I don't really mind. As I fill out the paperwork she writes her name on a volunteer badge and does the same for me. My name flows in her curvy handwriting. Paperwork done and sporting my sticker badge, I follow her into the back area of the shelter.

"I normally start with the dogs because they take a lot more energy than the cats, is that okay?" she asks over her shoulder.

"You're the expert here, I'll listen to you."

She smiles and stops next to a supply room. She grabs a bucket of toys and a bag of treats before continuing down the hallway. She opens a door and we exit the building. A tall fence encloses the back lawn; besides one tree, it's a clear area. She places the bucket in the grass and hands me the bag of treats.

"Wait here," she commands before running off. I watch as she runs backs into the building, her hair flying behind her. I heighten my senses and listen to her footsteps pad back up the hall and into another room. I hear her talking to and greeting a number of dogs, then I hear a button and the dogs flood the yard. When they get within ten feet of me, they stop and start growling. Great.

Natalie comes through the door, a big smile on her face that vanishes when she sees the dogs. She runs over, slowing as she gets closer.

"Woah guys it's okay, he's a friend."

Friend huh?

She slowly walks around them and to my side. She takes the treats and places a few in my hand.

"It's okay you guys," she coos. The dogs relax a little bit. She takes one of the treats from my hand and presents it to one of the dogs. It sniffs cautiously at it before taking it from her.

"Good boy," she says, rubbing his head.

She repeats the process with the other dogs and soon they are running happily around the yard.

"How'd you do that?" I ask as she starts tossing out toys for the dogs.

"Well since they trust me they just needed to know that I trust you. With the treats they saw you hold them and when I gave them the treat it helped them make a connection with the scent of you, me, and food, taking two positive things with an unknown and they decided you were a positive too."

"Where did you learn that?" I ask in awe.

"Uh nowhere, I just kind of know."

She looks embarrassed.

"Teach me."

"What?" she asks, shocked.

"Teach me how to connect with them. Dogs have never liked me. You're the first person to even get them to come near me."

"I am?" She looks incredulous. I nod. "Okay." She looks around. "Heather! Come here girl!" A lab comes bounding over to her. "Good girl." She gestures to me. "Okay, slowly walk over with that duck toy, it's her favorite."

I follow her instructions but Heather whines when I get close.

"Try sitting down and placing it in front of you."

Again, I obey her instructions but Heather won't come near me.

"Hmm," Natalie bites her lip as she looks between me and the dog. "Let me try something."

She sits down between Heather and me. Slowly, talking to Heather the whole time she takes the toy from in front of me and brings it in front of her. Heather immediately comes and gets it.

"Good girl!" she says excitedly. Slowly and patiently she brings the toy from me to her to the dog. Eventually she shortens the distance between us. She continues to do this until she's sitting right next to me. When she has Heather in front of her with the toy, she slowly passes it to me. Heather follows the toy and takes it from my hands.

"Good girl," I say and she wags her tail. Natalie is smiling proudly at us.

"I'd call that a victory," she proclaims. I'd have to agree with her.

______________

After we got the dogs back in their cages, or more accurately when I got Heather in her cage and Natalie got the rest of them, I carried the bucket of toys and treats back to the room. When we get there, Carla is arranging the supplies. She sees us and smiles.

"You have him trained well," she says, giving Natalie a wink. Natalie blushes and hurries me out of the room.

"How are you with cats?" she asks when we reach the cat room.

"They love me."

______________

Socializing the cats is a lot mellower just like Natalie said. We sit on the floor, each with a cat on our laps. Sometimes we play with them but it depends on the cat. I wasn't lying when I said cats love me. For some reason cats have never been bothered by my presence. More than once a cat has even followed me home. During cat time, Natalie and I had more time to talk.

"Do the dogs ever get into fights?" I ask.

"They're pretty careful to make sure they all get along before letting them out. If there's some that don't then we socialize them separately. We haven't had any of those since I've been here though."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"I've volunteered since I was a teenager but this is only my third week here."

"How many days do you do it?"

"Two, sometimes three, depending on my schedule and their needs. Sometimes they will get in special cases that need extra time then I might come in just for that one or spend time with all of them depending on how much time I have."

"Sounds like a lot of work."

"Sometimes but I really enjoy doing it and I love animals so it's worth it."

Our cats decide they've had enough and Natalie puts mine and hers back in their cages.

"I hope you enjoyed helping today," she says quietly as she locks the cages. "I enjoyed your company."

I'm tempted to make another teasing flirtatious joke but her sincerity stops me. She deserves a serious response.

"I did enjoy helping. Thank you for inviting me."

She smiles and I'm glad I didn't tease her.

Carla says goodbye to us and I follow Natalie back to her car.

"Where can I take you?" she asks.

I give her directions to my apartment and too soon we are driving up in front of my building.

"This is where you live?" she asks in awe. Her shock is understandable. It is the most sought after apartments in the entire city with a price tag that would blow your socks off. I nod and she whistles.

"Business must be good," she jokes. You have no idea.

I get out of the car and tap on the window, she rolls it down and I lean in.

"When is your next day at the animal shelter?" I ask.

"Wednesday, why?"

"No reason."

Chapter 3

On Wednesday I find myself leaning against the animal shelter, waiting for Natalie. I told myself I wasn't going to come but work was boring and all I could think about was spending time with Natalie and the animals. If there's one perk to being a demon, it's being able to do what you want and what I wanted was to volunteer at an animal shelter.

When Natalie pulls up I see a surprised grin spread across her face. She gets out of the car and I meet her halfway so we can walk in together.

"Couldn't stay away huh?" she teases.

"Just trying to fill my good guy meter for the week," I joke back. Good is the last word I'd use to describe myself.

She laughs and enters the building while I hold the door. While I chat with Carla, Natalie writes our names on our badges and sticks mine to my shirt. I can feel the warmth of her hand through the material. We walk side by side to the supply closet where I grab the bucket of toys and bag of treats to take them outside while she gets the dogs.

This time when the dogs come out, there's no growling. They don't seem particularly eager to see me but they also don't avoid me. Heather is the only one that runs up to me and I give her her duck toy and a pat on the head.

We play with the dogs for an hour before moving to the cats. After we are done with the cats we say goodbye to Carla and walk outside.

"How'd you get here?" Natalie asks, looking around for a car.

The shadows.

"I took a cab," I answer.

"Want me to drive you home?"

"Does Heather love her duck toy?"

She laughs and we get in the car. While she drives she asks me if she is going the right way, constantly checking with me on where she's going.

"It's a left here, right?"

"I go straight at the light, right?"

"I take a right in two blocks, right?"

Even though she is spot on with the directions, she second guesses herself. Maybe she doesn't want to end up in the industrial district again or maybe she's comfortable enough with me to not be embarrassed of her lack of city knowledge. She pulls up to my building and I get out and tap the window. She rolls it down.

"Yes?"

"When is your next day at the animal shelter?"

"Saturday, why?" She's smiling as she cocks her head at me in mock confusion.

"No reason."

______________

This became my new schedule. Every Wednesday and Saturday I would volunteer with Natalie. The rest of the week was spent in anticipation for those days. Weeks went by in a flash, only to slow on those days spent amongst fur and paws.

Dogs and cats left to go to new homes only to be replaced by new ones. Even Heather and her duck toy were adopted.

The dogs were still wary of me but they weren't why I kept coming back. It was Natalie. There was something unique about how she interacted with the animals. There was nothing but pure love and trust between them. That complete love wasn't something you could fake. She shines with it. It sparkles in her eyes without her knowing. It blazes in her smile that comes so easily. It transfers through her fingertips when she rubs their ears. There is no ulterior motive to it. No scheme or manipulation driving her actions. No expectation of returned affection. She didn't have to think about it, she just felt it. It was pure, unhindered, free, love. A stark contrast to the rest of the days in my week.

Wednesday and Saturdays were filled with wet noses, tiny paws, and the wind playing through Natalie's hair. The rest were spent consumed by shadows, dealings of desires, and collecting payments. I hunted for people desperate for my services, I dealt deals to those hungry for power, I exacted revenge and distributed pain if that is what they wished. I made dreams come true, for a price, and I always collected.

There were many things a person could bargain with. The most common was their soul. People often feel it's the best bet since payment comes later and they either don't believe in the afterlife or they think they can wiggle out of the deal somehow later one. They are always wrong. The next common is time. Some consider the life of luxury worth a few decades off their life. Next was what we called "balancing the scales". They could get say "the love of their life" but they'd be blind and or deaf the rest of their lives. Or maybe get healed from a disease but lose the love of those around them. Almost anything could be offered up, except another person. One person doesn't hold any rights to another person and therefore cannot be used in a deal.

I can't say I have a favorite trade. They all get repetitive after thousands of years but closing the deal is the best part. The satisfaction of gaining something special is euphoric. The deals themselves have lost their luster for me though. It doesn't take long to learn how to read people and guess their actions. It's not as fun to see people struggle with a decision when you know what they are going to pick. I haven't been surprised by a deal in over 500 years.

As I watch Natalie bob the feather toy for a cat, I wonder at what kind of deal she might make. She wouldn't do anything for personal gain that's for sure. It would probably be one of those saving someone else deals; the kind where they sacrifice themselves. As the thought of her making a deal passes through my mind a strange pressure settles in my chest. Its' strange, it almost feels like pain.

______________

It's been a month since Natalie first brought me with her to the shelter. In that time I've learned a lot about her but I want to know more. There's only so much you can learn about a person for a few hours a week. I want to see her in a different setting.

I emerge from the shadows and stare at the parking lot in surprise. Natalie is already here. That's odd, I'm always here first. I enter the building by myself. Carla is in her usual spot behind the desk and she looks up when she hears me.

"She's already in the back, sweetie," she says.

"Thanks."

Why is she here already? I check the supply room and the toys are still there. I check the dog area and all the dogs are still in there. What is going on? I hurry down the hall and fling the door open. A tiny shriek greets me.

"You scared me," Natalie accuses, one hand over her heart in an attempt to calm it. Oh you'd know if I'd scared you. You would know fear if it came from me.

"What's going on?"

"Well hello to you too." She mock rolls her eyes at me and points near the fence. "We have a new one."

I follow her finger to find a lump of dark fur lying in the grass. It's so still I'd think it was dead if I couldn't hear its breathing.

"Why aren't the other dogs out?"

"I took care of them earlier. The shelter called me last night and said a new dog wouldn't be able to be around the other dogs so I got here early to take care of them. I would have called to let you know but I don't have your number." I don't miss the hurt that flashes in her eyes before disappearing.

"Why can't it be with the others?" I ask, ignoring the slight guilt I feel at not giving her my number. I hadn't even thought about it. I could reach her anytime I wanted. Pop in at her work, her house, run into her at the store, but she didn't have that power. Did she want to have more contact with me? Did she want more than a few hours, two days a week?

"They rescued him from a dog fighting club. He was the only one they didn't have to put down from injuries or behavior problems."

Her voice is normal but the mix of sadness and anger within her is clear. There's something else too. Helplessness.

"Why are you over here?" It's not because she's afraid of him; I know that.

"He won't let me get near him. I let him out and he walked as far away from me as possible and laid down. If I get within ten feet of him, he gets up and moves. He doesn't growl or anything, he just moves. I don't know what to do," she admits sadly.

It must be hard for her, wanting to help and not being able to. I touch her shoulder, trying to offer comfort. She looks at me in surprise, understandable considering I've never touched her before. She had touched me. While putting my name tag on, or touching my arm to show the dogs I wasn't so bad, but I had never touched her.

"Thank you," she says quietly. I remove my hand and she shakes off her dark mood, going back to the smiling Natalie I'm used to. "I don't know how we're going to get him back inside though." She bites her lip in thought.

"Why don't you go do the cats and I'll stay out here with him?" I offer. She looks at me with surprise again.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe he'll come in when it's later."

Reluctantly she agrees.

"Okay but don't push him. Let him have his space. Oh and here are the treats, but don't throw them at him, oh an-"

"I know, I know," I say, pushing her through the door, my hand gently on her back. That's the second time I've touched her today, when it rains it pours I guess. She frowns as I shut the door. When I turn around she opens it again.

"If you need anything jus-" she calls out.

"Natalie," I say gently, "I got this. Trust me." She looks me straight in the eyes and nods.

"Okay," she says and closes the door. I wait until I hear her enter the cat room before walking over and sitting down next to the dog. Did I mention I love being right?

"She's too good for the likes of us isn't she, boy?" I say as I pet him. I stay away from the bandages covering his wounds from the fights.

"You know just the fact that you are keeping your distance means you're better than me. Staying away is the good thing to do." He looks at me and huffs.

"I mean it. You're better than I am. What did they call you? Killer? Beast? Monster? I've been called all those and more. The difference between you and me is I like it. I like the fear that passes through their eyes when they realize I am more than a man. I like the pure destruction I can cause. I know the difference between good and bad. I know it will end badly for her if I stick around. I'm so selfish though. I want to be around her. So you aren't the monster, I am."

He huffs again and puts his head on my leg, his ears sticking up. He seems to be a mutt. I can see bits of lab, shepherd, maybe some collie but I'm not well versed in dog breeds to know exactly what he is. His fur is ink black and the white bandages stick out like angels among demons.

"Shadow," I say, rubbing his ears, "that's your name."

______________

I adopted Shadow that day. Natalie had come outside after finishing with the cats and her jaw dropped when she saw Shadow resting his head on my leg while I contently petted him. Her jaw dropped further when I told her I was going to take him home. After filling out the paperwork and paying the fees, I put him in the back of Natalie's car where he curled up behind the passenger seat, away from her. He was really determined not to tarnish her presence. I wasn't so inclined.

On the way to my apartment, which Natalie knew like the back of her hand by now, I pick up her phone.

"What are you doing?" she shrieks, trying to grab it while keeping her eyes on the road.

"Giving you my number since you want it so badly," I reply, winking at her. She blushes.

"I don't want it, it would just be convenient if I needed to get a hold of you," she defends.

"Uh huh," I mumble distractedly. I send myself a text so I have hers as well. "There, now you have direct access to the Jack train."

"You know I'm only going to use it so I can check on Shadow, right?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling." I wink again and she glares at me.

Chapter 4

Shadow quickly made himself at home in my apartment. I went all out on the necessities. I bought him a dog bed, although he preferred mine, toys, treats, and that all natural dog food that Carla had insisted was the best. He didn't need all these things though. All he needed was my balcony. Off my bedroom was a small balcony overlooking the city. Buildings divided the skyline and Mt. Hood stretched across the horizon, all this could be seen from that small balcony that the realtor said was worth the price tag. I hadn't cared at the time but now I'm glad I spent the extra money.

When Shadow wasn't lounging next to me, or waiting for more food, he was on that balcony. The sun made his fur glisten and revealed the red undertones to his fur. He'd sit out there, observing the world, the wind ruffling his fur, a look of complete peace on his face. That look was worth all the money in the world. He was slowly healing, both physically and mentally. He moped less and wagged his tail more. I put off making deals just so I could spend time with him. I adopted him because I felt a connection with me. I understood him and I felt like he understood me. I knew it was unlikely he'd be adopted and I didn't want him to have to live in a cage. I didn't realize how nice it would be to have a dog around though. The poop was a downside but he more than made up for it. I've been on my own for years. I didn't think anything of it until I brought Shadow home. I only had him three days when he had to go back to the vet for them to check his injuries and check the stitches but they ended up keeping him overnight and that's when I noticed the distinct lack of noise.

I live a solitary life. Always have and it never bothered me until I suddenly wasn't alone anymore. Suddenly I noticed the absence of a second heartbeat, the quiet ticking of the clocks instead of the steps of soft pads on the hardwood floors, the silence was maddening. I found myself pacing, fiddling with the décor around my apartment only to move it again when I passed by a second time. Why hadn't I noticed how quiet everything was before? I was tempted to break into the vet and take Shadow back but I settled for being there when they opened at six in the morning.

I expected Natalie to have checked in on us but I haven't heard one word from her. She must be refusing to be the one to initiate communication. This was one game I would gladly lose. I called her that night after she got off work.

"Hello?" Her voice has a nonchalant tone to it. Good acting Natalie.

"What are you doing tonight?" I ask, skipping right to the good stuff.

"Uh, reading, why?"

"Come out with me."

"What?"

"Come. Out. With. Me."

"I heard you; I'm just processing your words."

"So I can pick you up at six?"

"I don't know. I was really looking forward to this book." I can hear her coyness.

Oh you're cheeky tonight, I like it.

"Bring it with you. You never know, I may be incredibly boring."

"I doubt that," she mumbles. "Okay, I'll be ready at six."

"It's a date," I say and hang up. I look down at my feet and Shadow is staring up at me.

"Don't give me that look. I'll be good."

He huffs and makes his way to the balcony. A thought crosses my mind and I send Natalie a text.

BTW where do you live?

Wouldn't want her to think I'm creepy.

______________

I knock on Natalie's door precisely at six o'clock. I hear the shuffle of her feet and her racing heartbeat before I see her face. She opens the door and smiles nervously at me. She's gotten dressed up. I'm so used to her normal jeans and a t-shirt that she volunteers in that when I saw her open the door I was momentarily stunned. I wasn't expecting her to dress any different but there she was, in a blue summer dress and black flats. The blue compliments her grey eyes and her tiny feet look even smaller in the shoes. I look down at my usual pants, shirt, and jacket; maybe I should have worn something different.

"I do believe I'm underdressed," I say in greeting. She blushes and looks down embarrassedly at her dress.

"Oh well I didn't know what we would be doing so I tried to find something that would work for multiple things. I can go change." She talks so fast I don't even have time to blink.

"No, don't. It's perfect." I offer my arm and she takes it. I smile and she smiles back. We walk down the street a little ways where I parked the car. If I was surprised by her outfit then she was definitely surprised by my car.

"Oh my god, is this yours?" she asks.

My car is something I'm proud of. I like the looks of older cars way more than the present day ones. They lack the hard sleek lines that some of the old ones wore so well. The black paint job and red upholstery also matches my style perfectly.

"Yeah, she's a-"

"A 68 Chevelle SS!" She says it before I can.

I look at her in surprise.

"You know old cars?"

"My dad loves old cars. I pretty much grew up in car shows."

I look at her for a long moment.

"You surprise me Natalie Clark."

That seems to please her and I open the door for her to get in. After shutting her in I climb behind the wheel and turn the key. The ignition sparks and the engine purrs like a content cheetah. Natalie gingerly runs her hands over the leather seats and dashboard, a warm look in her eyes.

"Oh god, she's beautiful," she groans. The longing in her voice makes my skin prickle.

"Glad you like her," I reply, gunning the engine and speeding down her street.

"Why haven't you been driving her to the shelter? If I had a car like this I would live in it."

"Too risky."

I trusted humans as far as I could throw them. Well, that's not entirely true; I could throw a human pretty far. But it wasn't just risky for the car; it was risky for me as well. Having a car like this was a double edged sword. It brought me all kinds of attention, men and women alike. They'd flock to me with a mix of desire, envy, and adoration. It made for an easy day of work. But it also could draw the wrong kind of attention, attention of unwanted interferers.

"Poor girl," Natalie says sadly, touching the car again, "a car like this deserves to be driven."

I agree.

I drove us to the outskirts of the city. Natalie had a permanent smile plastered on her face as we winded through the scenic back roads. It was the beginning of fall and the leaves had just started to change color. Natalie's eyes darted from side to side taking it all in, a look of pure joy on her face. Similar to the look of pure love I'd seen so many times but also different; joy made her look younger, more innocent, like a child. Human adults rarely could achieve the level of purity I saw in her emotions. Normally children would be the ones who felt one emotion so strongly. It was easier for them since they didn't have as much weighing them down and occupying their minds. Natalie could somehow do it though, feel one emotion unbridled by others. She didn't always do it. The majority of time she was a healthy mix of emotions, but sometimes with love, and as I just saw with joy, it was all the way, no negative emotions interfering with them.

As night starts to fall, we head back into town. Slowly, the city comes to life. Downtown is alive with lights and people. I park on one of the less busy streets, hoping the car will be safe. I offer my arm again and Natalie takes it. I lead us past clubs and fancy restaurants, none of which I knew would impress her. I knew what would though.

The place I pick is under a theater. On select nights you can watch a show and have dinner but not tonight. I don't want anything distracting us from each other. We walk in and I give my name, I'd made reservations earlier. Natalie looks around at the dramatic art décor that ties it to the theater upstairs, she seems impressed. The waiter shows us to our table. It's in its own private room and when the waiter leaves to give us time to look over the menus, Natalie looks around in confusion. I answer her unspoken question.

"All the tables have private rooms. It's the style; I'm not just trying to get you alone."

Yet.

"I don't know if I should be relieved or insulted at that," she muses, a teasing smile on her face.

The waiter comes back and we order a variety of dishes. Natalie oozes excitement at the thought of trying all the new flavors. She certainly isn't afraid of new things. While we wait for our food, we chat.

At the shelter we talked but not about personal details. The most I had gotten out of her were tidbits about where she grew up and a few of her likes and dislikes. It wasn't that she avoided conversation but the shelter wasn't really the place for deep personal talks. For instance I knew her favorite food was shepherd's pie but I didn't know if she was close to her family. I knew how her job was going but not if she'd ever traveled. We had random conversations that gave me more insight into who she is but I want to know more.

"Tell me about your family; is all your family into old cars like you and your dad?"

She tilted her mouth to the side and looked at the ceiling in thought.

"Let's see. My sister is a definite no; she is very much a modern luxury kind of woman. My brother was always more interested in sports than cars but he likes the coolness factor of them. Mom is kind of in the middle. She went to a lot of the car shows but she isn't a nut about it like Dad and I."

"Do you only have the two siblings?"

"Yep and I'm the middle child. They never let me forget it either. What about you? Any brothers or sisters?"

"A few but we don't get along very well."

"Are you close with your parents?"

"No, we're kind of estranged."

"I'm sorry. That must be hard."

"You get used to it. Are you close with your family?"

"Very. I don't see them very much since I moved but I talk to them almost every day."

That's what I would have guessed.

Our food came and conversation slowed. She was more occupied with trying everything and figuring out what she did and didn't like. She wasn't shy to gush over the ones she loved but the ones she didn't she politely said, "It's not bad but it's not my favorite." I got a kick out of watching her different facial expressions while she ate. Afterwards we lounged contently and continued talking.

"So do you take all the girls here?" she asks, half serious.

"Only the ones I rescue under bridges," I reply with a wink. She doesn't blush; she's getting used to my jokes and winks. It's kind of a shame.

"My hero," she laughs.

"How about you? Wooing any guys besides me?"

"I didn't know I was wooing you." She tries to suppress a smile.

"You asked me out first."

"I did not!" She blushes and throws her hands up.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling."

She shakes her head in defeat.

"To answer your question, no, I'm not wooing any other guys."

"So you admit you are wooing me?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling." She mimics my voice and I laugh.

We talked a little longer before I paid the bill and we walked back out into the streets. I head towards the water front, Natalie holding my arm. She still constantly watches her surroundings. She even pulled me to the side a couple times when she thought I wasn't paying attention and was going to walk into something. Her concern for me is cute.

She laughs as I hurry her across the street to the waterfront. Her feet make a cute tapping sound against the pavement. Why did I notice that?

I focus on the area around us. It's a busy night and the walkway is crowded with entertainers and spectators. Dancers twirl and tumble on the grass, lights wrapped around their bodies. Musicians of all kinds stand playing tunes and hoping for a bill or two. None of them particularly interest me but Natalie is riveted. The lights from the dancers reflect in her eyes and she cheers and applauds when one of them does a fancy trick with lighted batons.

Amongst all these people, I keep my senses sharp. Humans tend to feel safer in crowds but I know better. Nowhere is really safe if a predator is around. I wasn't worried about being a target. If someone did try something I could handle it. How I would handle it was what worried me. I didn't need Natalie wondering why I could take down a group of men with a flick of my wrist.

Natalie pulled me along to the other spectacles. Some of the musicians were lack luster at best but she still seemed to enjoy them. As we continued to walk, I continued to search the crowd. A particular group playing violins catches my eye and I stop.

"We should get going, it's late," I try to turn us back around but she pulls against me.

"Wait, I want to see one more," she protests. I couldn't very well carry her out of here without making a scene so I try leading her to a guitarist far away from the violin group.

"No, this way," she insists, tugging me away from the guitarist and towards the violinists.

As we get closer, I hope she keeps walking but she doesn't. She stops and watches the players with rapt attention. I groan internally.

They were good. More than good, they were amazing. They dragged their bows across the strings with precision and confidence, never missing a note. They played in perfect harmony with each other and the smiles they threw at the crowd were dazzling. The music seemed to draw people in and as the crowd got bigger, the power I felt from the lead violinist got stronger. He had his eyes closed, completely focused on the power he was exuding through the music. He didn't open his eyes until he played the last note but when he did, they landed on me.

"They are amazing," Natalie whispers, awe struck next to me.

"Mmhmm," I mumble, not taking my eyes from the demon in front of us. Natalie slips from my hand, I make an attempt to pull her back but she's too quick and I was too focused on the demon. The exact demon she is walking up to. Dammit. I follow her.

"You are very good," she says, dropping money into the violin case as his feet.

"Thank you very much," he purrs, leaking power towards her. I block it with my own, surrounding her with it like a shield.

"Yes, very good," I say. I stare coldly at him and he retracts his power.

"How did you learn how to play like that?" Natalie asks, unaware of the invisible demonic powers around her.

"It was a hell of a lot of work," he answers. Funny guy. He sticks out his hand. "I'm Nathan."

Please don't do it. But Natalie brings up her hand and prepares to shake his.

"I'm Na-"

I throw my shadow out, shoving a person into Natalie and making her stumble. I catch her and move her way from Nathan as I right her.

"Sorry!" The man I shoved into her apologizes. "I don't know what happened."

"It's okay," she says, smiling, no hard feelings towards him. While the man continues to apologize, keeping Natalie's attention, I turned towards the demon.

Find your own prey.

I hiss at him with my mind, flashing fiery eyes at him. My stomach tightens at calling Natalie prey but I don't need this demon thinking I'm doing anything besides hunting. A guttural growl sounds in my head.

Just having fun, brother.

I nod and turn back to Natalie. The man has stopped apologizing.

"We better get out of their way," I say, smiling and putting my hand around Natalie's waist to lead her away.

"Good job again," she calls out behind her as we walk away, introductions having slipped her mind.

The demon smiles and waves in thanks before turning towards his fellow players.

As we walk to the car, the wind picks up and Natalie begins to shiver. I shake off my jacket and wrap it around her. She smiles and tucks her arms inside. We make it to the car without any further incidents. Natalie sits snuggled in my jacket looking happily out the window at the city lights. I take the long way back to her house. I want to see that look awhile longer. When I pull up to her house, she doesn't move to get out and neither do I.

"I had a really good time tonight," she says, angling herself towards me. I mimic her position.

"Me too," I say simply. I stare into her eyes. They are dark grey like storm clouds. My skin prickles at the atmosphere.

"I love your car too, I could stay in it forever," she says with another stroke of the leather seats.

That could be arranged.

No.

You promised to be good.

I didn't want to be good though. I wanted to wrap my hands around her tiny waist, pull her to me, and possess those lips of hers. The lips she bites when she thinks, the lips that smile so easily, I wanted them on my own. I wanted to taste them, wanted to feel them move against mine.

My hand reaches for her, ready to act on the thoughts swimming through my head. She leans forward, shrinking the distance between us. As I move to close the distance I look deeper into her eyes and what I see makes me freeze, pure trust. Suddenly new thoughts and images swim through my head. Natalie crying at her kitchen table while her cat purrs helplessly at her feet. Natalie buying books with a broken smile. Natalie's face with a look of pure fear instead of love.

I bring back my hand and move away from her. I couldn't do those things to her. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to break her smile. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. All those things would happen if I let things continue. I wasn't boyfriend material. What would happen when I slip up and my less charming side shows? She doesn't know who I really am. If she did, she wouldn't be staring at me, complete trust in her eyes, it'd be fear.

"Hey," she says gently, placing her hand on my arm, "what's wrong?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

The words tumble out of my mouth of their own accord. I look at her, worried I'll see the fear I had imagined. People always felt fear at the mention of pain, no matter how small. When I look at her, instead of fear, I see the same trust. Why? Why did she trust me so much?

"Why do you trust me so much?" Again I speak my words without thinking. Was it still because of my eyes? The windows to my soul? The windows to my pitch black soul?

She smiles and cups my cheek in her hand.

"Because I know you."

I wanted to protest that she didn't know me. She only knew the part of me that I let her see. But before I could utter a word, her lips captured mine.

I didn't fight her. It felt too good. Her lips were perfect. I responded to her, pulling her close and kissing her back. I held her with one hand and ran the other through her long brown hair. Her hair is soft, just like her lips, just like her. I angle my body and she climbs onto my lap. My body sings in response.

"Wait," I pant, coming to my senses. "What are you doing?"

I couldn't let this happen. Why was I letting it happen?

"I'm kissing you," she says, her cheeks flushed. Her blushed cheeks, her disheveled hair, her grey eyes, they all worked against me. I kiss her again.

My body screams a mix of pleasure and distress. My conflicting emotions rage inside me. I want to protect her. I want to be with her. Why did I care? I have never cared about hurting someone before. Why with her did my heart ache at the thought of hurting her? Why did I feel sick to my stomach thinking about her reaction if she found out who I really was? Why did I like being around her so much? Why did I want to make her smile all the time?

I couldn't think straight. Everything was so jumbled. All I wanted was to keep her exactly where she was. All I wanted was to push her off and never see her again.

She wasn't helping the situation either. Straddled across my lap the way she was. Her hands running through my hair and down my neck. I try to focus on her instead of the thoughts in my head. I move my lips down to her neck and work my way across her collar bone. She moans and tilts her head to give me better access. As I work around her throat and shoulders, my hands move down her waist and over her hips, settling on the outside of her thighs. Her dress has ridden up and I touch her exposed skin. My hand stills as it grazes raised lines. I break away to look at her leg. Scars systematically stretch across them.

"Natalie," I breathe, my voice rough from our activities, "where'd you get these scars?"

She stiffens. Water dowsed on the fire. She avoids my eyes as she talks.

"I forgot about those."

I wait, giving her time. She sits, still on my lap, playing with the hem of my shirt. Her normally vibrant eyes are now cloudy with thought. I resist the urge to probe into her thoughts and emotions. Eventually she releases a heavy sigh and looks at my face.

"Long story short, I had some demons I had to conquer when I was younger."

Oh Natalie.

She continues, "It wasn't because of family stuff, it was more of school stuff. Typical not fitting in and dealing with bullies stuff. I always tried to focus on my school work instead of the other stuff but when I was 15 it got pretty bad and I just, I don't know, I thought it would help."

A tear rolls down her cheek and my heart clenches. I wrap my arms around her and she buries her face in my chest. Tiny shudders wrack her body.

"It's alright," I whisper, rubbing her back. She only needs a minute to compose herself. She pushes off of my chest and wipes her eyes.

"It's honestly in my past. I dealt with everything and I don't struggle with it anymore. I like to think of myself as a strong person but sometimes it's hard to talk about."

I take her hand.

"Just because you cry, doesn't mean you aren't strong. You are the most special person I have ever met. You are extremely kind, smart, driven, successful, and you could never be weak, even if you tried."

I've known a long time that my first impression of the weak meek mouse was wrong. She wasn't weak, she was just kind. I'm sure that kind nature had been a catalyst to some of the hardship she went through. Like I said before, the world likes to chew up the kind and the trusting. She overcame it all though and still managed to remain the same person. Kind and pure.

"Thank you."

Her smile is back again. Pure happiness. Pure joy. Pure trust.

It was easy to leave after that, the moment having gone and the atmosphere calm. She awkwardly climbed off my lap and got out of the car. I walked her to the door and she said she'd see me tomorrow. It was animal shelter day. I said she would and she went into the house, saying goodnight as she closed the door. I got back into my car and drove home, the windows down, the cool wind a calming force for my mind. It was then that I felt a chill on my arms and realized she had still been wearing my coat.

Chapter 5

Again, I watch Natalie from the shadows. She's sitting on the bench outside of the animal shelter, waiting for me. Her worried face checks her phone every couple seconds. I'm 10 minutes late; at least as far as she knows. I got here at my usual time, before her, but ever since last night the little voice saying "leave her alone" hasn't shut up. Last night I told myself I wasn't coming, then this afternoon rolled around and I found myself outside the shelter, then I heard her car and I retreated into the shadows where I've remained since.

She checks her phone again but this time her fingers tap hurriedly on the screen. My phone blinks with a message. I check it.

Hey, where are you?

Oh just merged with the shadows a few feet away from you. Normal stuff. The headache I've had since this morning pounds against my skull. I couldn't just leave her waiting. I typed a reply.

Got caught up in something. Don't know if I will make it.

Her phone jingles and a smile lights up her face, only to disappear as she reads my text. Great, if I stay I'll hurt her; if I stay away I hurt her too. The only question was which would hurt her more. I know in the long run she'd be fine if I disappeared. She'd eventually realize I wasn't going to call again. That I was a stuck up jerk that wasn't interested in a nice girl who volunteers twice a week. She might think it was her, that there is something wrong with her or she wasn't good enough but she has enough love and confidence in herself that it wouldn't take long for her to go "his loss".

As she sits staring at her phone I know what must be going through her head.

Is he avoiding me? Is this about last night? He probably thinks you're a depressed nut job. No, that can't be it. Oh my god, is this because we made out? Maybe he thinks I'm some kind of hussy. But it wasn't like it was the first date or anything. Well technically maybe, but we've known each other for over a month! Maybe I'm a bad kisser, maybe he realized he isn't attracted to me; maybe he never wanted to date me.

As she sadly types a response, I try to restrain myself from taking out my frustration on the wall next to me. I'm not delusional; I know I care for her. That is all I'm willing to admit to myself though.

As my phone blinks, she gets up and walks inside. I listen as she greets Carla.

"No lover boy?" Carla says in response.

"Not today," Natalie says cheerfully, hiding her true emotions.

"Everything all right dear?"

Maybe she wasn't hiding her emotions as well as it sounded. There's a long pause before she answers.

"Carla, do you believe you can love someone without fully knowing them?"

Wait, love? Is she saying she loves me? I wish I could see her face but there are no shadows in there that I could teleport to without them noticing.

"I think it depends on what things you DO know. If you know the important things like their character and what's important to them then sure."

"I just," she sighs, "I don't know."

"Do you love him, honey?"

Another long pause.

"I don't know. I feel like there's something I'm not seeing. Something about him, or maybe it's just me, I don't know."

"Sweetie, you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. You might not have all the answers right now about yourself or Jack but that doesn't mean you won't have them in the future. Give it time."

"Okay, thanks Carla."

"Anytime sweetie."

I listen as she slowly pads her way to the closet for the toys and treats. I feel a burst of sadness that I'm not going to see her or the dogs today. I look at the last message she sent me.

No problem. Hope everything is ok.

______________

Four hours.

That's how long I made it before I was knocking on her door.

I was weak.

I listen as she walks to the front door, her heart rate increases when she sees me through the peephole; she takes a few deep breaths before opening the door.

"Hey Jack, what are you doing here?" Her smile doesn't fully hide her thoughts.

"I felt bad for missing volunteer duty today and I wanted to make it up to you. Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure, come in."

She swings the door wider and I enter her home for the first time. I was right when I said it was big for one person. Seeing her standing in the house, barefoot and in sweats, makes her look even smaller than she is. I look around and see books everywhere, on shelves, tables, counters but that seems to be the end of her decorating. Besides some pictures and the usual décor of curtains, pillows, and blankets, it's rather bare. She nervously smooths her shirt as I look around.

"Sorry, I didn't know I was going to have company," she says.

"You look lovely," I smile. "It's my fault. I should have called first."

A half smile is her only response. Either she really is worried about her state of dress or she still has reservations about why I'm here and didn't show up today. Maybe I can distract her.

"So where is he?"

"He?" She stares at me in confusion. I walk into the living room as I continue.

"Yes, the cat I've heard so much about but never have met."

"Oh," she laughs, "he's around here somewhere. Probably upstairs in my bedroom."

"Bedroom you say?"

I bolt for the stairs before she can stop me.

"Hey! What are you doing?" She yells after me.

"Here kitty kitty," I call as I take the stairs three at a time. She tries to grab my arm but I'm up the stairs and down the hall before she gets halfway up the stairs. I make a beeline for the study across from her bedroom. I hide as she bolts into her bedroom.

"Jack I swear to-" she stops and looks around in confusion. "Jack?"

I sneak behind her and scoop her up into my arms, swinging her around. Her squeal of surprise quickly turns into laughter as she wraps her arms around my neck to keep from falling. Like I'd ever let you slip from my arms. I do a few more spins before depositing her safely on her feet. She's a little dizzy and holds onto my arms while she regains her sense of balance. Her smile is carefree again, no longer tainted with reasons for my absence. She looks up at me with smiling eyes.

"You're a jerk, you know that?" she says, but she isn't serious.

"I know. Now where is this kitty?" I make to look around the room but she quickly covers my eyes with her hands.

"No no no, you walk backwards and out of my room."

"Why? What are you hiding?"

"Nothing, it's just a mess and there's clothes everywhere."

"What kind of clothes?"

"Oh stop it!"

Even with my eyes covered I know she's blushing.

"Okay, okay."

I walk backwards and she follows, keeping my eyes covered. Once I'm past the doorway and into the hall, she uncovers my eyes and turns me around.

"Stay here," she commands, with a stern stare and a pointed finger. I give her an innocent smile and she slowly backs into her bedroom, keeping an eye on me the whole time, then she disappears into her room. A second later she emerges with a cat in her arms.

"Jack, meet Leo."

The cat purrs in her arms and I reach out and scratch behind its ears.

"Nice to meet you Leo."

Natalie uses her elbow to push me towards the stairs and we descend and head to the kitchen where she plops Leo down on the window seat and opens the fridge.

"Are you hungry? I haven't made dinner yet if you want you can help me cook."

"I'd like that."

I wash my hands while Natalie pulls out ingredients.

"What are we making?" I ask, looking over her shoulder as I dry my hands.

"Spaghetti. My mom's own famous recipe."

"Yum."

She puts me to work browning the meat while she opens cans and slices olives. We work in companionable silence and quickly the table is set and dinner is done. She watches me intently as I take my first bite. As I'm chewing she speaks.

"So what do you think?"

"I think you'll have to teach me to cook more of her recipes. This is amazing."

I take another bite and she smiles.

"I don't make it as well as she does. I don't know why but it always tastes better when she makes it."

"I think yours is perfect." I smile and we both dig in.

After dinner, we clean up together before heading into the living room. She sits down on the couch and immediately Leo jumps into her lap. I sit down next to her and pet the cat.

"So, why couldn't you make it today?"

There it was; the unresolved elephant in the room. I didn't want to lie to her but I also couldn't tell her I had been debating never to see her again. I still was.

"I had some personal things I was dealing with."

"Is everything okay?" her voice is laced with concern.

"I'm not sure yet."

"If there's anything I can do, just let me know, okay?"

"I will."

I needed to make a decision and I needed to make it soon. I couldn't let her feelings get any stronger if I was going to leave. It wasn't fair to her and it would only make it harder for her down the road. If I was going to rip the bandage off then it needed to be done fast. Before she fell further and before I got too attached.

I check my watch and see how late it is.

"I need to get back to Shadow."

I stand up and she follows me to the door.

"How's he doing?" she asks.

"Very well. His wounds are almost healed and I think he likes living with me. I like having him there."

"I'm glad you adopted him. Good for both of you."

Both of us? Did she think I needed someone around?

I lean down and kiss her on the cheek.

"Thank you for dinner."

"Anytime."

I look into her eyes and see her worries gone, for good. She no longer thought anything was amiss. It both relieved and frustrated me. I turned and walked down the sidewalk, preparing to melt into the shadows as soon as I was out of sight.

"Wait!" she called. "I have your coat."

"Keep it," I say over my shoulder. Gives me two reasons to come back.

Chapter 6

When I get home, someone is waiting for me.

As I step out of a shadow in my living room, I hear growling before I feel the dark power coming from the balcony. Great.

I head towards the balcony and pass Shadow, the source of the growling, on the way.

"It's okay, boy," I say, giving him a pat on the head. He stops growling but remains on edge.

I walk through the open glass door onto the balcony. A man stands with his back to me, leaning on the railing and looking out on the city. He's in his mid-forties, with greying hair, a tailored suit, and dark skinned. I join him at the railing.

"What can I do for you, Kest?" I say out to the city. The demon answers without turning his head.

"The boss was worried something had happened to you. You haven't made a deal in a week."

His voice is smooth like velvet.

"I've been a little busy. Just took a break. I'll be back working in the coming week."

"Busy with what?"

"Well, I don't know if you noticed but I got a dog."

"I did notice." He looks behind him at Shadow lurking in the doorway. "Why is that?"

"Because I wanted one."

He observes me for a moment before returning to the view of the city.

"Weird thing, a demon with a dog."

"Maybe I'm trying to bring back the hellhound legends," I joke and it works, he laughs.

"Humans and their constant need to connect darkness with something tangible."

Hellhound legends had come about long ago when force worked better than cunning. Demons had roamed the dark corners, stalking shadows with glowing red eyes, and humans had instantly cried wolf, or hound in this case. If the majority of humans knew we looked and talked just like them most of the time, they would stop looking under their beds for monsters and start looking at their neighbors.

"No need to worry," I tell him. "I'm not going soft. Just needed a change. This life gets monotonous after a while you know?"

He nods his understanding.

"We could transfer you early if you wish."

Demons normally spent five years in an area, establishing a life and working deals, before transferring to a new area. This system helped us stay below the radar and ensured an area didn't get under or over worked. A few exceptions to the system were demons in high ranking positions like CEOs and politicians. I had been stationed in Portland for four years.

"That won't be necessary."

"Are you sure? You're one of our best. We want to keep you that way."

"Nothing's changed, I assure you."

He nods before stepping away from the railing and standing up straight.

"I'm pleased to hear it, I'm sure the others will be as well."

"Please send my regards."

"I will."

He left, evaporating into the night. Once he's gone, Shadow comes and sits next to me and we stare at the lights of the city together. I start to think. A visit from Kest wasn't anything to worry about. Like he said, I'm one of their best and as long as I continued to do my duty, there would be nothing to worry about. I'd have to start working again tomorrow. That'd mean either less time with Natalie or I'd have to start hunting during the night. Good thing demons don't need sleep.

Chapter 7

For the next week I did well balancing out my life. During the day, I hung out with Shadow. Sometimes we stayed in the apartment; other times we went out. Evenings I did something with Natalie. She wasn't free all the time, but so far we'd been to the movies twice and dinner once. If we didn't go out I hung out at her place. One night when she had to meet a deadline for work, I sat next to her; watching her work on her computer. As I watched her work, I understood how she could afford this house. She was a great graphic designer. I didn't dabble in technology much, I didn't need to, but the way she manipulated the design and knew every command and program astonished me. She'd told me she had been one of the best in her class and had had job offers in six states. It was no wonder by what I was seeing. At night, I hunted.

Hunting at night wasn't easier or harder, just different. One of my strengths lies in how I can cater to multiple types of people. Some demons can only work one type of sale, I can do them all. As I listen to the sounds of the city, searching for potentials, I think about which kind I'll sell tonight.

Just like with the variety of payments and products, there are a variety of customers. First you have people with addictions who would sell anything just to get their next fix. Drugs, alcohol, all kinds of vices and each one sold in a different way. These kinds of deals don't hold much weight for the big guy downstairs though. Most of the time these people already have darkness in them and even though they were valuable, they weren't as praise worthy as some of the others.

Same with addicts, selfish deals weren't the best either. Deals of greed had the same problem; them being typically less than pure souls. Selling their soul for money was rather petty. Deals of desire, the same problem. People who would sell their soul for a lifetime of sex were just trying to compensate for something else or fill a need they didn't know how to.

Sacrificers were kind of in the middle. People who sold something for someone else. In the end most the time you got a fairly good soul or at least a part of them but since it was a selfless act they were still in risk of being ranked good. They were helpers and lovers, not evildoers. No the best kind of deal, the one that set cranks turning, was when you got a good soul to go bad.

Now I didn't just deal in, well, deals. As demons we could also try to influence those to do bad things. Sometimes this involved working with temptations or stirring them towards crime but it could also be done with deals. Influence took time, a gradual change but with deals it could be instantaneous and those were what held weight downstairs and why they hold me in high regard. Like I said, I'm very good at what I do.

Just then I hear what I've been looking for. It takes me less than a minute to get across town and in front of a blue house with a white picket fence. I enter the house and make my way through the rooms. It's a typical family home, nothing unique. The walls are plastered with pictures declaring love and family. Angel figurines give a false sense of protection. The "bless this home" sign masks the lack of faith its occupants share. I pass up the room where a man and a woman sleep, both dreaming of other women. I pass the room of a young girl clutching a stuffed fox to her chest while she sleeps. None of these are who I'm after. The person in the room at the end of the hall is, the one with the teenaged boy taking a razor to his skin.

I stay invisible as I enter the room. A boy with black hair that covers his eyes sits on a towel on the floor. He has headphones on, trying to blast the pain he feels out of his mind as he tries to also bleed it from his body. His eyes are dry, by now he's numb to the pain. His hand changes position, angling the razor up his arm, above the major veins in his wrist. He lowers it and as it just breaks the skin, I step into the light. Startled, the boy drops the razor and tries to scoot away but he hits his bed.

"Who are you?" He's scared but not terrified. That's good. I sit down across from him and motion to the headphones. He takes them off.

"You don't want to do it, Daniel." My tone is calming. He looks at the dropped razor between us.

"I don't have a choice," he says quietly.

"Why don't you have a choice?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I can't fight anymore. I thought it'd get better when we moved but it just got worse. I don't fit in. I could deal with the name calling and the rotten food left in my locker but this new school is worse. They hit me, shove me into the lockers, push my face into the toilets. They also-"

He stops as tears roll down his face. He might be numb to the physical pain but not to emotional pain.

"What do they do, Daniel?"

"They," he's sobbing now, quiet sobs, probably learned a long time ago how to do that.

"In the locker rooms, they take my clothes, push me around in the showers, make me fall, take pictures, and then they, they hold me down, they put things-" he covers his face and sobs into his hands. He doesn't have to continue, I know what they do.

"Sshhh, it's alright." I use my powers and shadows to calm him. Slowly he stops crying and looks up at me through his hair, his face tear stained.

"Who are you?" he asks again.

"I'm someone who can help you."

"You can't help me. No one can. No one would believe me and even if they did, I can't do anything without making it worse."

"I could do something though. I could make them stop."

"How?"

"However you want me to stop them. You just have to ask."

It's then that Daniel's brain registers what I'm really saying. I'll be his gun; he just has to pull the trigger.

"Could you," he pauses, "make it hurt?"

"If that's what you want."

"Yes," he says after a while, "that's what I want."

"I'm going to need something from you though, Daniel."

"I'll do anything."

He means it too. His voice is hard with conviction. This is it. The home stretch. All I have to do is finalize the deal and I'll have made another of hell's prize deals. They won't have any reason to suspect me with a deal like this. I reach my hand towards him, readying the end of the deal.

"This may hurt a bit," I warn.

He nods and I move closer so I can reach the payment hiding in his chest. As I do, I notice his hair has moved and I can see his eyes. Grey eyes. I freeze, unable to move. They aren't the same as Natalie's, hers are brighter but as I look at them, a scene plays through my mind.

A young Natalie sits alone in her bedroom, carving lines into her thighs. Alone, crying, hurting, helpless like the boy in front of me. Different stories but the same scars. I think about how happy Natalie is and what would have happened if she had decided to end it when she was younger or if someone like me had come into her room, whispering that they could make it go away, manipulating her like I'm manipulating Daniel.

"Dammit," I say under my breath and pull back my hand. I can't do it. I stand up and head for the shadows.

"Wait," Daniel says, "where are you going? You have to make them pay!"

"I can't," I say without turning around.

"If you don't, I will!"

I turn around and there it is. I see it in his eyes. I've put the thought into his head and now he's holding onto it like a life line. In his mind he only has two options, them or him.

"Daniel, I want you to listen to me. They aren't worth you darkening yourself. They've taken a lot from you. Don't let them take the good too. If you kill them, then you are the bad guy. You need to go to the police. What they are doing is assault and you can get justice."

"I don't want justice! I just want the pain to go away."

He's crying again.

"Killing them won't make it go away, Daniel."

"Then fine! I know what will!"

He grabs the razor but before he can slice his wrist I take it from him. I make it vanish into the darkness and he sobs on the floor.

"Please," he chokes, "I just want it to stop."

I crouch down in front of him.

"Daniel."

He doesn't look at me.

"Daniel," I try again. This time he does. "Listen to me. You are worth so much. You are special. You don't feel like it now. You feel broken and ruined but you aren't. No matter what they have done to you, you are still worth more than you can possibly imagine. It is not your fault, you hear me? None of this is your fault. It is theirs. I know nothing will make what they did to you go away and you just want it to end but don't let them win, Daniel. If you killed yourself, yes the pain would be gone but so would you. You'd miss out on everything this world has to offer; every beautiful and unique thing. And you might not feel it but you are extremely important, to people now and in the future. Do you know what you sister is doing right now?"

He shakes his head no.

"She's holding the stuffed fox you won for her from the claw machine."

"So?"

"Don't you see? She only loves it because you won it for her. In her mind the love of the fox and you are connected. She loves you.

"I love her too."

He's getting it. He understands.

"Who else are you important to? I know you know."

He sits up before answering.

"There's a girl, in my math class, her mom works late and I always stay after school to wait with her so she isn't alone."

"That's good. Who else?"

"Sam, at the comic shop. Whenever I go in there, he's always happy to see me and talk about comics."

"See? You are important. You're strong Daniel. I know you can do this."

I stand up and get ready to leave.

"I don't think I can do this on my own."

"You don't have to. Lean on those around you. You're not a burden. They'll help. You just have to ask."

I step into the shadows and start to leave. As I merge with the shadows and teleport out, I hear two words.

"Thank you."

______________

I thrust my hand into his chest, seeking out the warmth from his soul. When I find it, I mark it, branding it with the kind of deal he made and with whom. There is no lying with a soul, it is pure truth. I remove my hand and he gasps, able to take full breaths again. I leave the addict's rundown house and make my way home as the sun teases the sky pink.

I didn't need to make a deal every night. For normal demons, once every few weeks was good, for me, normal was once a day. It's why I'm so good and why when I missed an entire week, Kest paid me a visit. It was unusual and I couldn't afford to draw more attention to myself. I didn't need them snooping around and finding out about Natalie.

I hadn't made the deal with the boy. I couldn't do it. Maybe I really was going soft. Maybe it was just because he had triggered a thought of Natalie. I don't know but if anyone found out that I had talked a Potential down from murder and suicide I'd be in a lot or trouble. They wouldn't find out though. I sent them a deal tonight and in the end, every deal counts.

Chapter 8

Two days later I'm lounging on her couch while she puts a bookshelf together. Despite my constant offers of assistance she insisted she wanted to do it herself.

"I like putting things together," she says.

"But we could put it together, together," I say.

"No offense but I have a feeling you might break it." She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, a nervous smile on her face.

She was probably right. Destruction was in my nature. I decide to leave it alone and watch her work. She organizes all the parts and studies the instructions, all while biting her lip. She sits on her legs so she's able to easily pop up to grab a piece or crouch low over the instructions. Leo purrs on my lap and watches her too. After 15 minutes, she has the bookshelf complete, a triumphant smile on her face.

"Looks good. Will you at least let me move it?"

She concedes and I do the heavy lifting while she gives directions to where she wants it. It ends up in the hallway leading out to the backyard. She then gives me the task of bringing piles of books to her so she can organize them on the shelves. I obediently trek around the house, grabbing books and balancing them on my hands. As I bring a pile of 20 to her, she rolls her eyes.

"Show off," she says.

After I round up all the books, I lean against the wall while she places them on the bookshelf. She's giving off a weird vibe and I don't know what it is. It seems like a mix of stress and embarrassment but I don't know why she'd be feeling that way.

"Are you alright?" I ask her.

"Yeah, why?" she responds without looking at me.

"You seem on edge. Did I do something?"

"No, it's not you. I just," she sighs, "I want to ask you something."

That didn't sound good.

"What do you want to ask?"

She places another book before turning to look at me. Her eyes are determined.

"Do you want to go to Thanksgiving with me at my parents?"

I'm momentarily stunned. I wasn't expecting that question. I didn't even know Thanksgiving was coming up. It didn't fit in with my lifestyle. I try to remember what date it is and realize Thanksgiving is in a week.

"Thanksgiving?" I ask. My brain feels slow. Why did she want me to meet her parents? I couldn't meet her parents. I had only just met her cat.

"Yeah, Thanksgiving." She knows I'm hesitating, I can see it in her eyes.

"You don't have to go," she adds. "I just thought I'd offer. I mean, I assumed you might want to since we're dating."

Dating? Holy brimstone, we were. I hadn't thought of it like that but we spent almost every day together. We went to the movies together, made dinner together, volunteered together, texted all the time; merciful souls how long had we actually been dating? A headache starts to form near my temples and I rub at it. I was dating a human. Me, a demon, was dating a human.

"Hey, are you okay?" Natalie gently places her hand on my arm and looks up at me with large worried eyes.

"I'm fine, just a headache."

She smiles and rubs my arm.

"You don't have to go, you know?"

She was right. I had a choice. She wasn't pressuring me either way. It was all up to me. I thought about meeting her family, her very loving family and my headache gets worse. But I also think about her going by herself and I find I don't like that either. She would be going back to her hometown, back to a life without me, and I found that that thought laid like a snake in my stomach. I stop rubbing my temples and place my hand over hers, the one still on my arm.

"I'll go. I just need to find someone to watch Shadow."

"I'll tell my mom to plan for one more then."

She smiles and my headache starts to go away.

Chapter 9

Seven days later we're cruising on the highway towards Washington where her family lives in a small town outside of Seattle. I convinced her to let me drive us in my car. I figured showing up in an old car would win me points with her dad. I'm pretty sure Natalie knew it was part of my plan too.

We started out early so we'd get there in the afternoon. The plan was to spend the night and head back tomorrow afternoon. I wasn't keen on the whole spending the night but Natalie's mom hadn't wanted us driving late and I couldn't very well say "Oh don't worry about it. I'm a demon so I don't need sleep. Also I can see in the dark so your daughter is totally safe." Yeah, that definitely wasn't in the safe conversations pile.

It was hard leaving Shadow. Natalie had asked a co-worker to watch Leo and I'd enlisted my neighbors to watch Shadow. They were nice people; a middle age couple that gushed over Shadow whenever I walked him out of the building. I thought about just popping back to take care of him but I didn't want to risk my absence being noticed. I'd just have to trust that they'd take good care of him. If they didn't, I'd tear out their intestines through their-

"Are you nervous?" Natalie asks, breaking my train of thought. I shrug and continue staring at the road.

"You should be," she says. I turn and look at her. "The last guy I brought home left missing an appendage."

I notice the mischief in her eyes and turn my attention back to the road.

"Ha ha, very funny, miss jokester. Don't make me turn this car around."

She laughs and puts her hands up as if to say, "Hey I warned ya."

"Actually, Daddy is probably more likely to kill you for your car than for dating his daughter."

"How much have you told them about me?"

"Eh, not a lot," she says, looking out the window.

I study the back of her head before returning to the road. That's the first time she's lied to me.

______________

As we pull up to her parents' house, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread. It's a cottage style house with a peaches and cream paint job. Pristine flowerbeds line the walkway leading to the front door. There's an apple tree in the middle of the front yard. I can feel the warm loving waves coming from the house. There was no way this could go well. As I open Natalie's door for her, I start a mental timer. In less than 24 hours, we'd be back on the road and I could relax. I shut the car door and the house door opens and out runs a man only a little taller than Natalie. He has salt and pepper hair that continues down his face into a full but well-trimmed beard.

"I knew I recognized that engine. Oh she's a beauty," the man says. He completely ignores us as he circles the car. This must be Natalie's dad.

"Love you too, Dad. Missed you too, Dad," Natalie says sarcastically. Her father's head snaps up, finally looking at us.

"Oh Nat, I'm sorry. Come here and give me a hug."

He opens his arms and Natalie gives him a big hug. When they are done she turns to me and introduces us.

"Dad, I want you to meet Jack. Jack, this is my father, Ryan."

"Nice to meet you, sir." I stick out my hand and her father returns my firm handshake.

"I've heard a lot of about you from little Nat here. I was gonna tell you you better treat her right but by the looks of your car, you know how to treat a thing of beauty."

"In all due respect, sir, a lady is very different than a car. I hope I treat Natalie with 100x the love I treat my car."

Natalie stares at me dumbfounded while her father nods approval.

"You've got a good head on your shoulders, son."

"Thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Ryan."

I nod and he takes one more look at the car before putting his arm around Natalie and ushering her towards the house.

"Come on you two, the rest of the family can't wait to see ya."

I follow them up the walkway and put a tally next to the mental timer. One down, who knows how many more to go.

When I walk through the doorway, I instantly want to walk back out. The house is filled with adults and children. There has to be at least 15 people here. I'm in way over my head. Just as I'm planning my route of escape, Natalie grabs my hand and smiles encouragingly at me. I squeeze her hand and mentally shake myself. I can do this.

Natalie leads me around the house and introduces me to people. All her family is intermixed and it's hard to keep them all straight. I met her brother and his family first. Her brother was a tall man with brown hair like Natalie. His name was Andrew and he had a wife and three kids. He seemed nice enough. He tried to get me talking about sports but Natalie rescued me before it got too in-depth. The next people were her uncle's family. His name was Steve and he was Ryan's brother. He had a wife named Helen and they had two kids. Next was her aunt Sarah on her mom's side. She had her boyfriend with her. He seemed rather standoffish and went looking for a beer as soon as I shook his hand. I hoped it was all over but then Natalie's sister, Jenny, comes over and introduces me to her husband and daughter. Jenny stares at me for a long moment before looping her arm around Natalie.

"Can I borrow my sister for a moment?" Jenny asks.

No.

"By all means," I say, sounding more confident than I feel. I don't know how I am going to mingle with all these people without her by my side.

"I'll be right back," Natalie promises and is led away by her sister. I pinpoint my hearing and pick up her sister's words.

"Oh my god, Nat! Where did you find him? He is absolutely gorgeous!"

"I know, right?" Natalie giggles. I smile and pull back my hearing. I look around and see if there is anyone I haven't met yet. Most of the people seem crammed into the living room but I know I haven't met Natalie's mother yet. She must be in the kitchen cooking dinner. I wonder if I should wait for Natalie or go introduce myself now. I decide to get it over with and head towards the kitchen. Following the smell of food, I find it easily. A tall woman with auburn hair like Jenny stands at the sink, peeling potatoes.

"Is there anything I can help with?" I ask her. She turns around and I see where Natalie gets her grey eyes from. Natalie's mother smiles and it actuates the start of wrinkles around her mouth and eyes.

"You must be Jack. I'm Natalie's mother, Catherine," she says, drying her hands and coming over to me. I start to stick out my hand but she pulls me into a hug instead. I awkwardly return the hug and she lets me go.

"Nat has told me so much about you. We're so happy you decided to come."

"Thank you for inviting me. I'd be glad to earn my keep. It's a little hectic out there." I motion towards the living room and she smiles knowingly.

"Come," she says, "you can finish peeling the potatoes while I make the pie."

I quickly make work of the potatoes and Catherine puts me in charge of making the green bean casserole. As I'm finishing that, Ryan comes in, pushing an elderly woman in a wheelchair.

"Look who decided to join the party," Ryan says, parking the wheelchair in the kitchen.

"Hey Mom," Catherine goes and kisses the woman on the cheek. "Mom, this is Jack, he came with Natalie. Jack, this is Grandma Pam."

I wipe my hands and walk over to meet Natalie's grandmother. I shake her hand and smile.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Oh aren't you sweet. Why don't you give this old granny a hug?"

I give her a gentle hug, not wanting to break the old woman. That'd certainly be a party foul. As I'm about to let go, she whispers in my ear.

"Stay away from my granddaughter, demon."

I recoil like I've been burned. The old woman is staring daggers at me. I quickly look around but it seems no one noticed the interaction. My mind is racing a million miles. Does she know what I am? Did she use demon literally or does she just think I'm bad news and had used that word? Either way I couldn't let her near Natalie. Just then I hear familiar footsteps and Natalie walks into the kitchen. Great.

"Grandma," she greets, coming and giving her a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh just fine, dear. I was just meeting your fella here." The old bat didn't give a hint of the vehemence she showed me.

"Oh were you now," Natalie smiles up at me and takes my hand. Pam's eyes briefly flick to our joined hands before settling on Catherine. She is directing Ryan as he maneuvers the turkey out of the oven. As he safely sets it on the counter, Catherine speaks towards the three of us.

"Nat, why don't you round everybody up for dinner. Jack, can you take mom into the dining room?"

No.

"It'd be my pleasure."

Natalie leaves to gather the rest of the family as I wheel Pam into the dining room. We're alone and if she's going to say anything else, now would be the time.

"Here will be fine," she says, indicating the spot at the table missing a chair. I carefully wheel her up to the table as a wave of kids rush in. The children crowd in around Pam; all hugs and kisses before finding their chairs. Natalie walks in leading the adults and guides me to our spots at the table. Thankfully they are far away from Pam.

Dinner goes well. Natalie's family jokes and tells all kinds of stories. The food is good. Everyone compliments my green bean casserole and I say it's only good because Catherine made sure I didn't screw up. They laughed and Catherine was flattered by my high praise of her food.

"Natalie made me your spaghetti, Catherine. It was truly delicious."

"Thank you, Jack. Nat was always the one who helped me in the kitchen and she's stolen a lot of my recipes."

"It's not stealing, Mom." Natalie laughs but there is a slight blush to her cheeks. As the conversation moves to another topic, I lean over and whisper in Natalie's ear.

"Nat, huh?"

She blushes deeper and I smile at her.

I catch Pam staring at us and quickly lose the smile. The rest of the dinner is spent avoiding eye contact. It could have been my imagination but it was like she was trying to stare holes into my head. I breathe a sigh of relief when dinner was over and everyone splits up around the house. The guys wanted to see my car so we all trek outside so I can show it to them. They ask the usual questions. How much had I paid? How long had I had it? What was the upkeep like? Could I hook them up?

Yeah, I thought, for a price.

After they were thoroughly sated, we all went back into the house.

The family had a tradition of watching Christmas movies after Thanksgiving dinner and we all piled into the living room to watch them. As it got later people started to leave and around 11 o' clock I decided I should too.

"Where you heading off to?" Ryan asks as I get my coat and Natalie starts walking me to the door.

"I have a hotel room just up the road. I thought I'd get out of your guys' hair," I answer. Natalie had told me she would be staying at the house and even though she said there'd be room for me, I'd figured a hotel was easier.

"Nonsense," Catherine says, coming up behind her husband. "You can stay in Andrew's old room. Mom is staying in the quest room and Nat is in her room. There's plenty of space."

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"It's really no trouble," Ryan says.

"He already paid you guys," Natalie speaks up. That was true, not that it mattered. I had plenty to spare.

"Well, it's up to you but you are more than welcome," Catherine says. They leave us alone to discuss it.

"What do you want to do?" asks Natalie.

"I'm good either way. I'm sure I can get my money back if that's what you're worried about."

"It would be kind of nice to have you here. You could have breakfast with us."

"Then I'll stay."

Natalie goes to tell her parents while I get our bags from the car. Natalie shows me to Andrew's room and then refuses to show me hers.

"What's with you and your secret bedrooms?" I ask.

"Bedrooms are sacred ground where only the worthy may tread."

She closes her eyes and pretends to meditate. I tickle her while she has her eyes closed and she runs out of the room.

"See you in the morning," she calls behind her.

"Good night," I call back.

______________

I listen to the even breathing of the occupants of the house. All but one is fast asleep. I walk, invisible in the shadows, towards the guest room. Transferring to the shadows in the corner of the room, I watch Grandma Pam reading her bible. Was she particularly religious and that's how she knew who I was?

"You might as well come out. I know you're there."

Her words are quiet so as not to wake the rest of the house. Curious, she doesn't seem to want to reveal me. I step out of the shadows and into the light, becoming solid. She marks her place in the bible and sets it on the nightstand.

"I knew you'd be along soon," she says.

"How do you know what I am?" Straight to the point. I don't have the patience to beat around the bush.

"It isn't hard once you know what to look for."

"And what is that?"

"Your eyes. When the light hits them just right, they flicker with fire. Not noticeable unless you're looking."

I didn't know we had such a blatant tell.

"Spent time around demons have you?"

"You could say that."

"What do you want?"

"I could ask you the same thing. You deal in darkness, misery, and sin-"

"That is in the job description."

"So, why are you making eyes at my granddaughter?"

I didn't owe her an explanation. It's none of her business why I'm with Natalie. I fix her with a hard stare.

"First, why don't you tell me what you sold?"

"Excuse you?" She looks shocked.

"Don't be surprised. Despite that bible besides you, you don't reek of righteousness. It takes a strong spiritual person to recognize us. Or someone who has done business with us."

She glares at me. She knows she's been found out. Darkness can't be scrubbed out, only hidden.

"My legs," she answers finally. "I was a dancer. I was on the way to being one of the best. The demon thought it was a fair trade."

"For what?"

"For my husband. He was fighting in the war. I wanted to make sure he came home."

Ah, a Sacrificer. Of course. War times were ripe with deal Potentials; family members wanting to secure their loved ones lives, dying soldiers wanting to keep on living, and leaders willing to do anything to win. I study Pam as she studies me. Deals that didn't involve a soul still left their mark. Dealing with a demon always tainted the soul, even if by a fraction. It's why we were willing to make those deals as well. Sometimes you just knew they wouldn't pay the ultimate price but if you could instill even a tiny bit of darkness then that was better than nothing. They might even come back and want to renegotiate, after a while they might want to pay with their soul then.

"Where is your husband now?" I ask. He hadn't been at dinner. She debates before telling me.

"He died a few years after the war. Pneumonia."

Makes sense. The conditions of the war would have left his body weak. Depending on her contract, she might have been able to get her legs back if she had paid for him not to be killed by the war. She probably just said that she wanted him to come home alive. Few people thought of the technicalities.

"Seems you got a bum deal."

"No," she says decisively, "it was worth every minute I had with him."

Feelings like that are why Sacrificers are such easy deals.

"I've answered your questions. Will you answer mine?" she adds.

I consider it a moment and decide on a compromise.

"No but I will say that I mean her no harm."

"What is your definition of harm?"

"I'm not trying to get her to make a deal if that is what you mean."

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

"I'm not here to hurt her."

"Loaded words from a demon."

I was getting tired of this.

"Are you going to be a problem?"

"What happens if I say yes?"

"Then I wipe your memory of meeting me and I'm home free."

"Kind of suspicious if I conveniently forget one person."

"Then I take the whole day. I'm not picky."

We stare at each other a long time before she finally nods.

"I won't be a problem."

"Good."

I make my way back into the shadows. I still had things to do tonight.

"But only because I see the way you look at her," she says right before I leave.

"And how is that?" My voice is hissy in this form.

"The same way she looks at you."

Chapter 10

A knock on the door wakes me up. I'd managed to get a couple hours of sleep after getting back last night. I'd still had to get a deal to avoid suspicion. My body protests as I sit up. I might not need sleep but it was nice to have it and two weeks with little to no sleep was taking its toll. Maybe I needed to take a day to recuperate. I open the door to a smiling Natalie holding a cup of coffee.

"Thought you might need this," she says, handing me the cup.

I thank her and take a sip. It has hints of peppermint in it.

"How long have you been up?" I ask. Her hair is done and she smells different, like vanilla honey instead of her normal cucumber melon. She must have used different soap.

"An hour or so," she says. "I thought you'd like to sleep in. My family can be a bit much."

"They aren't that bad." All but one of them had treated me like a member of the family. Even the children hadn't gotten on my nerves the way I thought they would.

"They like you, you know? Dad is all but ready to give you my hand in marriage. You really earned some points with your car. Oh and mom thinks you're an angel the way you helped her cook yesterday."

"I like them too."

"I'm glad."

We stand there a while just looking at each other before her mom's voice distracts us.

"Breakfast is ready," she calls.

"Come on." Natalie takes my hand and leads me downstairs. I almost suspected the whole family to be here but as we enter the dining room I see it's just her parents and Pam. They wait for us to get seated before eating.

"I hope you slept well," her mom says.

"I did. Thank you."

"When do you guys plan on leaving?" her dad asks.

"This afternoon I think."

"Actually," Natalie says, "Jane called. Apparently she had a family emergency and wasn't able to check on Leo this morning. If it's okay, I'd like to leave after breakfast so I can get home and check on him."

"Yeah, that's fine."

She smiles at me and goes back to eating.

After breakfast, we pack our bags and prepare to leave. We say goodbye to Grandma Pam inside but Ryan and Catherine walk us out to the car. As I'm loading our bags in the back, a man a little older than her parents comes over from next door.

"How are you folks doing this fine morning?" he greets.

"We're just fine, how about you?" Catherine asks.

"Oh wonderful. I'm good, just had to come see little Natalie here. How you doing, dear?"

"I'm doing well."

"Very good, very good. And who's this young man?"

As he motions to me, he fully looks at me for the first time. He freezes and sweat starts to leak from his forehead.

"This is Jack. Jack, this is Pastor Franklin," Natalie introduces us. Great. A pastor.

"Nice to meet you, sir." I offer my hand but he doesn't take it. He continues to sweat and stare at me. Don't even think about it, old man.

"Are you feeling alright, Frank?" Catherine worriedly asks. That seems to get through to him and he unfreezes.

"Oh yes, just a bit queasy. Probably all the food yesterday. I'll let you folks get back to your business." And with that, he practically runs back to his house.

"What was that all about?" Natalie asks. Her parents shrug and I follow suit. That pastor might be a problem. I'll have to come back and wipe his memory later.

"Well, drive safe you two," her mom says. They both hug her as they say goodbye. I shake her dad's hand and her mom hugs me as well. After the goodbyes, we get into the car and they wave to us as we drive away.

______________

Leo was completely fine and happy to see Natalie when we got there. While she fed him, I carried her bag in. Natalie stood, leaning against the doorframe while I carried it upstairs and left it outside her room. I walked back down and she hadn't moved.

"Is there anything else you need before I go?" I ask.

"You can stay for a while if you want," she says.

I think about it. Shadow was still with the neighbors so he was fine but I needed to get back to that pastor. An hour or so wouldn't hurt though.

"Sure, I can stay for a little bit." I walk towards her. "What do you want to do?"

When I get within reaching distance she grabs my hand, pulling me towards her and her lips. As our lips connect, warning lights flash in my head. They are saying that I need to make a choice, right here, right now. To stay or to go. As I kiss her back, I realize, I made my choice a long time ago.

I momentarily break contact to pick her up and as I do she wraps her legs around me. I carry her to the living room and lay her down on the couch. She releases her legs and I follow her down, crouching over her. I seek her lips again as her hands play through my hair. Happiness radiates from her and I know her locked up worries as to why I hadn't kissed her again are melting away. I had remained good since that night in the car, only kissing her on the cheek when I'd leave. She never said anything but a part of her worried as to the reason. She didn't have anything to worry about anymore. I wasn't going anywhere and I had been good long enough.

I break contact again and move to her neck. I make my way across her shoulders and run my hand down her arm. I take her hand and bring it up to my mouth, laying a gentle kiss on her wrist. I place her hand on my shoulder as I kiss along the base of her throat and upper chest. Her fingers run down my back to the edge of my shirt. She teases it up, dancing her fingers across my skin. I move back to her mouth, alternating between hard and soft kisses. My hand plays along her side, moving her shirt and stopping to splay across her ribcage. Her skin is smooth and I rub tiny circles on it with my thumb. Her hips press into mine and I break away to place a kiss above her bellybutton. I make my way up and back down again. I move across her waist and along the waistband of her jeans. As I my hand moves down to her hip, the doorbell rings, startling us both.

We look towards the door, then back at each other before laughing quietly. Breathing heavily, I move her hair to the side and place my lips back on her neck. The doorbell rings again. Annoyed, I glare at the door.

"Do you want to wait until they go away or answer it?" I ask.

"I can answer it. It might be important."

She goes to get up but I stop her.

"I'll go."

She flops back down on the couch and I get up, fixing my hair as I walk towards the door. It was probably some person doing a survey or some other pointless thing. The faster I got rid of them, the faster we could pick up where we left off. Without checking the peephole I open the door. I barely avoid the sword that lunges towards my chest.

I jump back, kicking the door closed and calling my shadows. The assailant fazes through the closed door and stands poised for battle. I take in the girl before me. She has long white hair that flows down a pure white dress and her eyes crackle with blue fire. Great. An angel.

"Let me guess, the pastor called you?" I ask but her only response is the tip of her sword sailing towards my neck.

I bring up my shadows and block the attack. She lunges again but I easily dodge and put some distance between us. I launch shadows at her. She blocks them with her sword but one gets through, slicing her cheek. A drop of red blood trails down her face. I smile to myself. I can handle this. My confidence falters when Natalie comes through the doorway. She comes to a halt when she sees the angel. She stares confusedly at her before looking at me. When she does, she breathes sharply and covers her mouth. Damn. My eyes. I look back at the angel, with eyes I know are burning with red fire. I can't fix what Natalie just saw, I can only stay alive and hope Natalie stays out of the way. Angels can be overzealous in their fights and humans have paid the price for it.

"Natalie," I say calmly, "I need you to go back into the living room."

"Jack, I don't-"

"Go Natalie!"

She flinches and I know I shouldn't have raised my voice but I need her safe. I put out the fire and turn towards her.

"Please Natalie," I say, hoping to get through to her. I see emotions flicker across her face. Fear, confusion, worry, but she nods and I breathe a sigh of relief. While I'm distracted the angel attacks.

Natalie screams as the sword sails past my cheek. I leap onto the banister and springboard over the angel, landing behind her. Shadows slam into her, sending her flying down the hall. Natalie stands frozen in the doorway. Blue fire erupts down the hall and fills the foyer. I jump through the doorway, grabbing Natalie as I go. I deposit her in the corner and ready myself as the angel floats through the fire. The blue fire burns through her hair, playing with it like wind. It's cleansing fire, used to burn out corruption, not very good if you are a demon.

I launch myself at her, going for the sword. She avoids me but not a shadow and it cuts her hand, making her drop the sword. I flick my wrist and it slides across the room. She glares and sends fire after me. I jump over it but she leaps at me at the same time and it's either the fire or her. I didn't choose the fire. She rams into my side, taking us both down. We hit the coffee table and it shatters. A piece of wood embeds itself into my arm and I yank it out. Blood drips onto the floor. The floor grows cold and I barely move in time before the spot where I was crouching catches on fire.

I couldn't use my own fire. It was destructive and unpredictable. It would eat the house, maybe even hurt Natalie. I'd have to find a different way to beat her. I look around and try and come up with a plan. The angel was trying to box me in with fire but as long as the flames didn't get any higher, I could jump over. She didn't have her sword anymore, which was good. I could run, maybe lead her away but she might not take her flames with her and Natalie would be in trouble. They weren't good for humans either. If she had ever sinned, told even a little lie, it would burn through her like the sun. It wouldn't kill her but the pain would be indescribable.

I leap over the fire and grab the sword, throwing it at the angel. She grabs it before it can slice her shoulder. Perfect. I leap again, towards the area with the least amount of flames. I throw shadows at her and she deflects them effortlessly. As she blocks my attacks, she advances. She makes a go for my face and I let it cut me. I go down, holding my bleeding face, begging mercy with my eyes and she goes for the killing blow. At her feet, I gather my shadows. When she attacks, she'll be vulnerable and then I'll strike. She raises her sword, readying the final attack. I ready mine as well, angling them towards the vital points of her body. Everything was going according to plan, until long brown hair stepped in front of me, and the into the path of the sword.

"No!" I yell. I grab Natalie and twist us around so we switch places. She is safe but unfortunately, now I'm not. There is no time to avoid the sword and I close my eye and wait for the pain. The sword slices into the area between my neck and shoulder. It severs bone, tendon, and muscle as it makes its way deeper into my body. If the cut on the face was like a paper cut than this was like getting hit by a truck with a sawblade on the front of it. Screams tear through my body and I collapse and fall to my knees, Natalie slips from my arms. The angel rips the sword out and I feel relief. It would be short lived. I sense her raise her sword again. My shadows have dissipated and through the pain I can't gather them again. I feel the air crackle and brace for more pain.

"Stop!" Natalie's voice cuts through the air. She moves to block the sword again.

"Natalie, no!" I try and grab her but it pulls at the wound and I can't move. She stands protectively in front of me and to my surprise, the angel lowers her sword.

A disembodied voice comes from the angel's mouth, "Step aside child."

"No," she says defiantly. The angel tilts its head in confusion.

"You would protect this demon?"

Natalie flinches at the word demon but stands her ground.

"Get out of my house."

"Are you saying you do not want the help of our Lord?"

Natalie looks down at me, bleeding on the floor at her feet. I look into her eyes, hoping to see the same trust that normally fills them but this time I can't see anything, I can't read what she's feeling. She turns back to the angel.

"Please," she says quietly, "get out of my house."

The angel nods her head and the flames extinguish as she vanishes, flickering like a candle as it goes out. As the last traces of the angel flicker out, Natalie drops to my side.

"Oh my god," she gasps, taking in the wound in my shoulder. "There's so much blood."

She moves the fabric of my shirt away and I wince as her fingers brush the cut.

"Sorry," she says. "Don't move. I have to go get some things."

She goes to leave but my words stop her, "But you know what I am."

Her eyes fill with that same fire of anger I saw in the market the first day I met her. Anger I haven't seen from her since.

"Do you think I care about that right now?" She yells and disappears out the doorway.

I hear her run upstairs and rummage around in her bathroom. I try and sit up but fresh pain rolls through me. I lie back down and wait for her to come back. She doesn't take long and returns carrying towels, hydrogen peroxide, bandages, and scissors. She sets them down and leaves again, only to return with a pot of hot water.

"Natalie I'm fine," I reassure her. "I just need time to-"

"So help me Jack if you don't lie still and let me do this I will stab you myself."

She holds the scissors threateningly and I half believe that she will. I shut up and let her do what she wants. Carefully she cuts my shirt and removes it, exposing my mangled shoulder. She dips one of the towels in the water and cleans away the blood. As she reaches for the hydrogen peroxide I stop her and she glares at me.

"Trust me, I don't need that, it won't get infected."

She stares at me a minute before putting it back down.

"You need a doctor, surgery, stitches, something..."

"I'll be fine. Just bandage it up."

She nods reluctantly and gets back to work. I close my eyes and try not to focus on the pain as she places the bandages and tape. She finishes the shoulder and moves to my arm where the wood stabbed into me. It's not nearly as bad as the shoulder. When she's done she sits back and stares at me. I manage to sit up.

"Thank you. I'll leave now." Before I can even try to get up she fixes me with a glare.

"My threat still stands. Lay back down."

I slowly lower myself back to the floor. My eyes land on my ruined shirt and I smile at her.

"Darn. That was my favorite shirt."

It doesn't work and she glares at me even harder.

"Sorry," I mumble, looking away from her. I lay there quietly waiting for her to speak. It's a long time before she does.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks.

"It isn't something you just tell people."

"Did you think I wouldn't understand?"

"Why would you?"

"Because I-" she yells but stops herself.

"You what?"

"Forget it."

She crosses her arms and looks away from me.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"You should be."

"You can stab me if that will make you feel better."

The corners of her mouth twitch but she doesn't smile.

"Trust me, I'm thinking about it."

"Anywhere will do. Although I ask that you stay away from anywhere below the belt."

That does it and smile breaks free on her face. She covers her face in frustration.

"Stop it. I'm trying to hate you," she grumbles into her hands.

I drag myself over to her and touch her arm. She doesn't flinch or move away. When she removes her hands I don't see fear, but exhaustion.

"Tell me what you want me to do," I say. "If you want me to go, I'll go. If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

"I want to go back to before that doorbell rang," she says quietly.

"Well, I can do that but I'm afraid I won't be much fun. I can lay here while you have your way with me though."

"I will punch you," she threatens but her smile says otherwise.

"Just trying to help." I lay back down. I'm exhausted. This wound was really taking it out of me.

"If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?"

"Of course I will."

She looks uncertain but asks anyway.

"Demons can influence people, right? Charm them and stuff?"

"In a way, why?"

"I just, have you ever used your powers on me?"

I shoot up, ignoring the pain in my shoulder and clutch her hands.

"Never. I swear," I promise her and I'm not lying. I have shielded her with it, used it to shove someone into her, but I have never used it on her. Not even to move a single hair.

She stares into my eyes and nods.

"I believe you."

I breathe a sigh of relief and lay back down. I was doing that a lot today. I couldn't believe she hadn't kicked me out yet. She just found out I'm a demon and she's not even scared. The most she's been is angry that I kept it from her.

"I don't understand," I say quietly.

"That makes two of us."

"No, why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Why would I be?"

"I'm a demon."

"So?"

"You do know what that means right?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid." She rolls her eyes at me. It's so normal I would laugh if I knew it wouldn't hurt so bad.

"That's not what I meant."

She sighs and rubs her forehead.

"I just know you won't hurt me. You're good."

This time I do laugh and I instantly regret it.

"You're the first person to ever call me good," I wheeze, fighting the pain.

She lays my head in her lap and pulls the blanket from the back of the couch to cover me up.

"I don't care what you or anyone else says. I know there's good in you. From the moment I met you I've seen it and I've kept seeing it. I know it's not an act."

"How do you know?" I ask sleepily. The combined warmth of her and the blanket has my eyelids closing.

"I just do," she says and I let the darkness close in.

Chapter 11

When I wake up, it's the middle of the night and Natalie is gone. I heighten my senses and see a dark lump in front of me.

"Shadow?" I say into the darkness. A huff comes from the lump. "How'd you get here?"

"I went and got him," says a voice in the darkness. A lamp turns on and illuminates Natalie's face. She's sitting in a chair, wrapped up in a blanket. Was she watching me while I slept?

"How'd you get into my apartment?"

"Swiped your keys."

For some reason I find that funny and a laugh rips through me. I wait for the pain but only a slight ache comes. That's good; the worst of it must have healed. Shadow huffs again and I reach out and pet him behind the ears.

"Good boy," I say. Natalie watches us, the wheels turning in her brain.

"Dogs don't like demons do they?"

"No, they don't. Cats like us just fine though."

"Why did Shadow take to you then?"

"It's because we're similar."

"What do you mean?"

"We've both killed."

She's silent and I worry I scared her but eventually she speaks again.

"Why doesn't he like me?"

"He likes you, that's why he stays away. He thinks you're too good for him. Too good for us. He's right."

"So why don't you stay away?"

"Because I'm selfish."

In the darkness it's hard to tell what she's feeling. A part of me is dying to know but another part is terrified. Despite what she said earlier, she could change her mind at any moment. I don't want her to fear me and I don't want to lose her.

"How are you feeling?" In the dark, her voice seems louder, or maybe it's just my heightened senses.

"Better. Most of the pain is gone."

"Let me check it."

She gets up and turns the overhead light on. I sit up and lean against the back of the couch. She keeps her face neutral as she walks over and crouches down beside me. She moves the blanket, revealing my bare chest and works on gently removing the tape. When she removes the bloody bandage, I can tell she's surprised when she sees the skin has knitted itself closed. She doesn't say anything though as she puts a fresh bandage on. When she's done, she stands up and starts to leave.

"Wait," I say, grabbing her hand. My shoulder twinges but I ignore it. "Tell me what you're thinking."

As she looks at me, something breaks and tears fill her eyes. I immediately release her hand and apologize.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's not you, you stupid head," she's says, angrily wiping away her tears. "Well, it is but not really."

She crouches back down and looks at me with watery eyes.

"Is it okay if I?"

She motions to my lap. I nod and she carefully crawls onto my lap like a child. Her side leans against my chest and I slowly bring my arms around her, worried that she might break apart. Her head rests against my good shoulder and her hand splays over my heart. A warm tear falls onto my skin, followed by another. She starts to shake and I pull the blanket up around us.

"I was so scared," she says through the tears. "Not of you but of what might happen to you. I know I got in the way earlier and that's why you got hurt. I was scared I had got you killed. Then you fell asleep and I just kept thinking, what if he doesn't wake up? I knew you wouldn't want Shadow by himself so I decided to go get him but then I kept thinking what would happen if that angel came back while I was gone. It was an angel right?"

I nod.

"I thought so. So I sped through town and got back as fast as I could. I kept imagining walking in and finding you dead but you were fine. You were still asleep, safe and sound. I tried to sleep too but I started to panic again so I just stayed up, listening to you breathe. And I know that sounds creepy but I was worried and you know you're actually pretty cute when you're asleep, even wounded. And now here I am bawling like a baby when you're the one hurt."

I rub her back, trying to comfort her.

"Don't worry about me. You saw for yourself that I'm fine. The inside still has some healing to do but in a few days I'll be good as new. Not even a scar."

She lays in my arms, silent. The tears have stopped which I take as a good sign but I don't have much experience to know for sure. For all I knew, this could just be the calm before the storm.

"I think I'm selfish too," she says finally.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I don't want you to leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not if you don't want me to."

She doesn't respond and I look down and see her eyes closed.

"Natalie?" I say quietly. She doesn't stir and I slowly stand up, careful not to jostle her. My shoulder protests but I ignore it and carry her upstairs to her bedroom. I hold her with one arm and pull the sheets back with the other. She sighs in her sleep as I lay her down and cover her back up. I stand there, watching the even rise and fall of her chest as she sleeps soundly. Shadow followed us up from downstairs and now stands in the doorway.

"You'll let me know if anyone comes?"

He huffs and lays down to keep watch. I shuck off my jeans and crawl into the bed beside her. The smell of her cucumber melon soap wafts up to meet me as I lay my head on her pillow. I hug her to my chest and tuck the blankets in around her so she won't be cold. Then for the second time, I fall asleep feeling her warmth.

Chapter 12

I'm up before Shadow can wake me. I sensed the presence at the same time he did. I carefully remove my arm from under Natalie and grab my jeans off the floor. I put them on and tell Shadow to stay. I rip off the bandage, a thin scratch is all that is left on the outside, and walk downstairs. I turn right and walk into the kitchen.

"Morning, Kest," I greet the demon leaning against the counter. "What can I do for you?"

Kest looks at me with suspicion in his eyes.

"Word on the street is an angel came down yesterday. I came up to make sure no damage was done. All Portland demons were accounted for, except for you. You weren't in your apartment. It took me awhile to track you down here."

"An angel? Really?" I feign ignorance. "It wasn't after me. It was a, satisfying night, if you know what I mean?"

My stomach churns but Kest can't know Natalie is anything more than a one night stand. Kest points at my shoulder.

"And what would that be?"

"She likes it rough," I shrug. Buy it. Please buy it.

Kest stalks towards me, his eyes intense and serious.

"Nathan told me he saw you with a girl a month ago; a girl that looks a lot like the one in that bed up there. I hope you aren't making a habit of her."

Dammit. I forgot about Nathan seeing us but he shouldn't have thought anything of it. Unless Kest had specifically asked if I had been acting unnatural. I didn't normally take customers on dates, the only desires I deal in are with actual deals, Nathan might have sensed something was off. I return Kest's serious gaze.

"No, sir. She's good for scratching an itch is all."

For a minute he looks like he doesn't believe me but then he relaxes. He returns back to the counter and runs his hand along the edge, feeling the grooves in the tiles.

"Good. First you get a dog, then I hear you've been socializing with one woman, I was getting worried, Jack. I would hate to find out you are playing homemaker instead of homewrecker." He turns around. "In any case, it's time to move on. No matter how, satisfying, one woman is; this one has overstayed her use. Finish with her and find a new one. Preferably a married one, try to ruin two lives instead of one."

His implication is clear, stain Natalie's soul and leave, otherwise there will be consequences.

"Understood." I nod.

"Good boy." He straightens his suit and looks up at the ceiling; he listens for a while before smiling. "Sounds like she's up. Maybe you can get in a few more sessions before her time is up."

______________

Kest leaves and I slowly make my way back upstairs. What was I going to do? Shadow had been right. I should have left Natalie alone. Now she was in danger and I would have to break her heart to keep her safe. I round the corner into her bedroom and watch as she starts to stir. As her eyes start to flutter open, I sit down on the edge of the bed. I move her hair away from her face; she smiles and opens her eyes.

"Good morning," she says. Her sleepy eyes are lighter than normal and I take in every inch of her face, memorizing every aspect so I will never forget. I breathe in the smell of her cucumber melon soap. I kiss her, trying to leave her with everything and nothing at the same time. I brand the feeling of her lips into my brain. I take in the taste of her and the warmth of her against me. When I have her firmly locked in my heart, I break away.

"What was that for?" she asks, out of breath. I smile and caress her cheek. The smoothness of her skin is something I want to remember too.

"I have to go away for a while," I say finally. Her smile disappears and she sits up.

"But last night you said-"

"I know what I said." I move her hair behind her ears and drop my hands. I waited so long to touch her and now I would never be able to again.

"Something has come up," I continue. "I need to take care of some things."

"When will you be back?"

Never.

"I don't know."

Coward. You can't even say it.

"Alright," she says quietly. She knows I'm hiding something. Her instincts are telling her that her fears are coming true but her heart doesn't want to believe it.

"Where's my coat?" I ask her. "Wouldn't want your neighbors gossiping about the shirtless man leaving your house." I try and lighten the mood but it doesn't work. She gives a weak smile and gets out of bed. She walks to the closet and brings out my coat. The one I wore on our first date. The one I've let her keep this whole time. She hesitates before handing it over. It might just be a coat but in her mind it was a symbol; a symbol that I'd be back.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

She follows me downstairs. This time there's no goodbye kiss on the cheek. She just stands in the doorway, watching as Shadow and I get into the car. Watching as I drive away and don't look back.

Chapter 13

Three weeks later and I still hadn't looked back.

I take that back.

I looked back.

It had been three weeks of hell for me. And trust me, I know hell.

31 unsent text messages.

14 calls ended before the first ring.

9 nights perched in the tree outside her house.

And 56 broken and replaced pieces of furniture.

I wasn't doing so well.

I tried to throw myself into work but every deal I made left a bad taste in my mouth. Every payment I took made my skin itch. Every bone I broke made me want to, well, actually that's the only part I still enjoyed.

Everything paled in comparison to being with Natalie. I wanted to see her smile, wanted to hear her laugh, wanted to watch her work, I wanted to feel her in my arms. My only consolation was Shadow. I still had him. Without him, I don't know what I would have done but he helped alleviate some of the pain and reminded me why I was doing this. I was doing this for her. So she would be safe. I could handle this as long as she was safe.

______________

Week four rolled around and I was in the middle of contemplating crushing the glass cup in my hand when a dark presence swept through my apartment. I put the glass down and go into the living room only to see Nathan lounging on my couch reading a newspaper. The headline reads "Teens Arrested for Assaulting Fellow Student." Good for Daniel. I knew he could do it.

"Sup, brother?" he says in his light voice, lowering the paper. His blonde hair has grown since the night on the waterfront. It's now long, shaggy above his eyes and around his ears. This time I contemplate what his face would look like crushed under my foot but I refrain from acting out my imaginings.

"What can I do for you, brother?" I ask, sitting down in the chair across from him. He folds the newspaper and tosses it onto the coffee table.

"I just wanted to catch up. I haven't seen you in months."

"I'm not one for company; you know that."

"True but last I saw you had that grey eyed babe on your arm. I was wondering if you'd sealed the deal on that one or not. Might take a whack at her myself if she's fair game."

I resist the urge to break his smiling face. Some demons were okay with sharing. Sharing deals, lovers, payments, either by working together or going one after another but most didn't like to share. I was one of them. Even if it wasn't Natalie, I wouldn't have let Nathan go after one of my deals for seconds.

"I sealed it." I keep my voice calm and neutral. "And I don't share so find your own."

He puts his hands up in an "oh well" gesture.

"Just thought I'd check. I've been having a hard go of it lately. Not that you'd know anything about that."

I let his comment slide. Lots of demons were jealous of my abilities. I had grown used to their thinly veiled jibes and openly snide words over the years.

"It will be time to change cities soon. Maybe business will be better in the next city."

If I don't remain civil, I'll end up breaking something and since the décor in my apartment wasn't doing it for me anymore, I might have to test the strength of Nathan's femur.

The doorbell interrupts my destructive fantasy and Nathan looks at me.

"Expecting someone?"

I get up and go to the door. I wasn't but the landlord had been particularly friendly lately. It probably had to do with the sound of breaking glass every night. I open the door and my heart freezes in my chest.

"Natalie?"

Grey eyes stare up at me and I can't seem to start my breathing again. Thoughts race through my head. What is she doing here? How dare she come here? Doesn't she understand what my silence means? She's going to ruin everything. I can't believe she's here. I'm so glad she's here.

"I came as soon as I got your text," she pants. She's out of breath, like she's been running.

"Natalie, what are yo-"

She starts pulling at my clothes, inspecting my arms, lifting my shirt. Confused, I step back but she follows me into my apartment.

"God, I was so worried. All that time with no word from you and then just a text saying "I need you. Come quick." I thought something had happened to you."

"Natalie, wait, slow down. I didn't-"

"What's wrong? Are you hurt? I thought that may-"

Her eyes see something behind me and it causes her to stop. Her face pales and she looks sick. I turn around and my heart drops. Nathan is still lounging on the couch but he's changed his appearance. He's now a woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and pouty red lips. His body is lean with long legs and a chest that would make him topple over. He's also completely naked. I quickly turn back to Natalie and see her eyes are dark like storm clouds and I realize how perfect that is for this moment. Storm clouds herald the coming of the storm.

"What did you need me for?" she growls. "Permission?"

I don't answer. I can't. I can't defend this in front of Nathan. He can't know she knows I'm a demon or that she's more than a supposed deal. This could very well be a test from Kest. Me trying to explain would only set off alarm bells.

The storm clouds gather and threaten to release their burdens. I look away. I can't see her cry.

"Answer me!" she yells. I feel Nathan's waiting stare. My silence can just as easily tell him the truth. So even though I know it will tear Natalie's heart even more, I turn to her and laugh.

"Actually, I wanted to know if you'd join us."

Her palm connects hard with my face and the slap echoes throughout the room. The physical pain is gone in an instant but the emotional pain hurts more than the angel's sword. I rub my cheek and smirk.

"Is that a no?"

Natalie's eyes fill with water and I resist the desire to fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Forgiveness for leaving, for being a coward, for hurting her, and for hurting her again by making her think I had just been using her.

"I hate you," she whispers. She turns around and runs out of the apartment.

I close the door and walk towards Nathan. I tighten my hand on the back of the chair, threatening to splinter the wood.

"You're dirtying the upholstery," I say. I'm surprised at how calm and disinterested my voice is.

"Don't worry, I don't have cooties," he says. His normal voice coming from the woman's mouth is unsettling but it's not something he can change. You can dress a demon up but on the inside, they are still a demon.

"I need to work. Would you mind?" I nod towards the balcony and he smiles with the red lips.

"No problem, brother. Let me know if she changes her mind and comes back. I don't mind sharing."

An image of that long blonde hair stained with blood pops into my mind.

"Good bye, brother."

"Toodles," he says, wiggling his fingers and disappearing.

I'm jumping through shadows as soon as his presence is gone. I pop out into the parking garage of my building and frantically look around. I heighten my senses and try to find her. I pick up the faint smell of cucumber melon and start running. I jump over cars and slip through the bars into the lower area. I run down the aisle and round the pillar just as she's getting into her car.

"Natalie!" I call out and she freezes before turning around. Tears stream down her face. I try and take her into my arms but she shoves me away.

"Get away from me!"

"Natalie, let me explain! It's not what you think. That was a demon-"

"Like that makes it any better," she cries.

"No I mean we weren't doing anything. I swear I-"

"Do you know what I've been through this past month?"

"Natalie I-"

"I waited for you to call, to show up, to send a smoke signal for god's sake but there was nothing. Not a word."

"You don't understand. I'm trying to protect-"

"So while I was losing sleep and worrying that something had happened to you, what were you doing? Sleeping with another woman? Or is it women?"

"You're not listening, I-"

"I'm through listening to you! I wish I had never met you! You're evil and I never want to see you again!"

I freeze. She called me evil.

She gets into her car and slams the door. I jump out of the way to avoid being hit as she reverses and speeds out of the parking garage. I stand in the empty parking space, her words running through my head. She didn't want me. She wanted a good guy. Something I could only pretend to be.

I yell and punch the nearby car window in frustration; the glass shatters and cuts my hand. It feels good and I focus on the pain in my knuckles and not the pain in my heart.

Chapter 14

I pour myself a drink, and then I throw it at the wall and pick up the bottle instead. Shadow lays on the rug, staring up at me; he isn't affected by my outbursts, he knows my anger isn't at him. I pace the living room, chugging the bottle of booze. Screw work, screw hell, screw Kest, I'm going to get drunk tonight and no one is going to stop me. In fact, let them try, I could use more things to smash.

I flop into a chair and stare at the coffee table. The newspaper is still there; my phone sits next to it. I take another drink and continue to stare at it. Who texted Natalie? The obvious answer was Nathan. My phone had been on the table and he could have sent a quick text before I came in from the kitchen. The question was why? Was Kest suspicious of me? Had he sent Nathan to orchestrate this whole fiasco to see how I'd respond? Or had Nathan just wanted to completely sever my ties with Natalie so he could swoop in? Neither answer was comforting.

I was tempted to go to Natalie's and try to explain things again but her words kept me firmly in place. Evil. She called me evil. Granted she wasn't wrong. I am evil. There's no denying that but she had seen something else in me, something good and now that was gone. She no longer saw Jack, just the demon. I take another drink. I pick up my phone and squeeze. I hadn't broken my phone yet. Now seemed like a good time. I squeeze harder but stop when it rings. A number I don't recognize pops up on the screen. I consider crushing it anyway but I answer it instead.

"Hello?"

"Is this Jack Collins?" a woman's voice asks.

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Nancy from The Good Samaritan Hospital. We have a patient here and you're her emergency contact. We need you to come down here as soon as possible."

The bottle slips from my hands and shatters on the floor.

"What's her name?" I feel my lips move but it's like another person is speaking the words.

"Natalie Clark."

______________

The beeping of the heart monitor fills the otherwise silent room. I sit in a chair next to the hospital bed and stare at Natalie's unconscious face. Her bruised, cut, and damaged face. I hadn't looked away from her since the nurse showed me to her room. She had still been in surgery when I got to the hospital and the doctors hadn't wanted to say much on her condition until she was out of the woods. Right now she was stable; broken, but stable. When the doctor and police came in I kept my eyes glued to her face as I listened.

The police informed me that Natalie's neighbors had called in a disturbance at her house. They reported hearing screams and seeing people dressed in dark clothing fleeing from her home. Police responded and discovered Natalie unconscious and badly injured in her kitchen. She was rushed to the hospital and into surgery. That's when the doctor took over. He told me that Natalie had three broken ribs, one which had punctured a lung and they had to repair it, multiple fractures in the bones of her right hand and arm, numerous cuts and contusions, and some internal bleeding. All her injuries pointed to massive trauma and were consistent with the injuries of assault. She had some head trauma that they were worried about and didn't know when she would wake up. When I asked the question that had been screaming in my mind since they said the word assault, they told me there had been no evidence of sexual assault. My muscles relaxed at those words.

I asked if they had called her family; they had and said they were on their way. After that the doctor left and the police stayed to take down my information and location at the time of the attack. I wasn't even angry at their questions. They were doing their jobs and I was too focused on Natalie to care that I was being questioned. They finished and said they would be back later to speak with the family. I nodded but still never took my eyes off of Natalie.

The nurses and doctors came in throughout the day and checked her vitals and confirmed that she was still stable. Their hourly check-ins weren't enough for me. I monitored her condition myself the whole time. Using my heightened senses, I monitored her heart rate and breathing. I didn't trust the machines. I knew it was irrational but it was comforting to hear her steady heartbeat and even breathing opposed to watching it on the monitors.

I finally gave in and wrapped her limp hand in mine. Her words in the parking garage still rang in my ears but I needed to touch her; to feel that she was alive and not just see and hear it. She's just so still. Since day one, she's been full of life, all smiles and laughter. Even in her sleep she had a slight smile on her face. There was nothing now though. Her mouth was a straight line, no emotion in her face. Her body was still, and even her breathing seemed less pronounced in this unconscious state. But her hand was warm and that helped cement the fact that she was still alive.

Hours passed and I continued to hold her hand; the only movement from me the occasional blink. Midnight came around and still I didn't move. Sometime in the middle of the night, Natalie's family came and even as I told them what I had been told, I didn't move my eyes or my hand. Briefly, I thought about giving them time alone with her but I wasn't leaving her side until she woke up. Even then I wasn't sure I would leave unless she told me to. I expected she would after what happened earlier.

Her family were pacers and moved from the side I wasn't occupying, to the door, to the window, and back again. Her mom and dad had jumped in the car the minute they received the call. They had driven the 3-4 hour drive straight, without stopping. Her dad told me the rest of the family would leave in the morning and get here in the afternoon. I didn't care as long as they let me stay where I was.

The staff offered us cots but we all refused.

Her parents seemed to accept that there was nothing they could do but wait. I wasn't sure I was as calm as them. I think I would have broken double the amount the furniture I did in the last month if I didn't keep constant watch over her. Without the sound of her heart filling my ears and her hand filling mine, I would have to think about what if she didn't wake up and there wasn't enough furniture in the world if that happened.

______________

Morning came and she still hadn't woken up. I was glad I had entrusted Shadow to the neighbors again because I don't know if I could have left to take care of him. Natalie's vitals were still stable and the doctors were still optimistic that she would wake up; her body just needed time and they urged us to be patient and not worry. Patience was not one of my virtues.

The police came back in the morning and I had to listen as they recited the same words from yesterday that they had to me. When they got here last night, I had been sparse with the details, not wanting to have to deal with tears. The police didn't though and her mom's tears flowed freely as the police gave their report. Ryan comforted her and they went through some of the same questions they had with me.

Was Natalie afraid of anyone? Would anyone want to hurt her? Had she exhibited any strange behavior recently?

They answered the questions and the police turned towards me.

"The surveillance in your apartment building confirmed your location Mr. Collins but it also revealed a rather heated interaction between you and Ms. Clark. Care to tell us what that was about?" one of them asks.

I feel the stares of the police and her parents but I ignore them.

"She stopped by to see me," I answer, "we argued and she left. I didn't hurt her if that's what you are implying."

"You broke a window after the altercation."

"I took care of it with the owner," I lied.

"Not our point. How angry were you after this argument? Did you maybe call up some friends and-"

This time their questions do irritate me. Natalie condition hadn't changed and as the hours passed, my emotions became harder to keep in check. Their loud accusing voices grated on my nerves and I was a hairs width from breaking my stare and snapping at them.

"No. I was not angry at her. I was angry with myself," I say. I still am. If I had gone to her house to try and talk to her again then maybe I could have prevented this.

"We see. We'll be in touch." They leave and Ryan places a hand on my shoulder.

"We know you had nothing to do with this," he says.

"Thank you."

They invite me to get some food but I turn them down and they leave. As soon as they do, I bury my head into the bed next to our hands. I can't do it anymore. I need her to wake up. I take a deep breath before I sit back up and return to looking at her. I squeeze her hand and wait for it to squeeze back but of course it doesn't. Wishful thinking.

"You know," I say to her, "I knew this demon, one of the original ones, he used to ask some of the newer ones this question and I remember the day he asked me it. You see, demons like me, ones that came after Lucifer and the other angels that fell, we're born from the shadows. From the despair and the darkness of hell. And the older ones, they put us through this initiation like thing to make sure we come out right so to speak. I passed that perfectly and it was a few days before I was to be sent to the surface and this demon came up to me and a few others. He bled power and the others were afraid of him but I didn't let him scare me. Demons are supposed to grow fear, not feel it. But he stands in front of us and booms in this loud voice: "What do we feel?" and all of us reply: "Hatred, desire, greed," and we prattle on a few more emotions. Then he asks: "What don't we feel?" And that takes us a little longer but slowly answers start coming. "Compassion, fear, guilt," and then I answer: "love" and the demon gets this smile on his face. "Why don't we feel love?" he asks. That confused me. I didn't know. I knew what we did feel and what we didn't but why didn't we feel those things? It was just how we were. There was no reason, that's just how we were made. When we didn't answer, he said: "Because love is a promise, and demons never promise." And that was the end. He left and I have never seen him again."

I rub the back of her hand. Her heart rate and breathing haven't changed.

"I didn't understand. Demons make promises all the time. We promise wealth, happiness, fulfillment, but then it hit me; he meant a real promise. Not a lie but a genuine promise and I realized he was right. Demons don't promise, we lie, and love isn't a lie. I've seen real love and fake love and that's always the deciding factor, if it's a promise or not."

The nurse comes in and I wait until she leaves to keep talking.

"After I figured it out, I didn't think anything of it. After all, there was no point; I didn't feel love so it didn't concern me. But Natalie," I squeeze her hand again, "I need you to wake up. Because I know that I can make a promise. And I know I want to make it to you, because I love you. One hundred percent I love you and I need to tell you that, so please, wake up."

I wait, listening for even the tiniest change in her breathing to signal that she is waking up. It doesn't come and I hang my head.

______________

Natalie's brother and sister arrive around three o' clock. Ryan went out to meet them and as they file into the hospital room, Ryan comes back, pushing Grandma Pam. Great.

After lots of questions and tears, they all settle in to wait for Natalie to wake up. They are comforted by each other's presence and I envy them. Nothing comforts me but Natalie.

Around six they go down to the cafeteria for dinner and leave Pam in the room. She wheels herself over to Natalie's other side and stares at me. I handle it for about five minutes before I lose it.

"What do you want?" I ask through gritted teeth.

"Why haven't you healed her yet?" she asks, glaring at me now.

"What are you talking about?"

"You have powers; use them for God's sake."

I give a sardonic laugh.

"Yeah, I have powers, powers of destruction. I can't heal her without taking something and I will not take from her."

My powers were limited to causing havoc and pain unless I took a payment. Then I could use that to turn my powers into something different; something capable of doing good.

"Take from me," Pam offers. "I'll make a deal with you."

I give another laugh.

"You've already bargained a deal. I can't take from you."

She starts to argue but I cut her off.

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Natalie would never forgive me."

Pam shakes her head and takes Natalie's other hand.

"She's always been a fighter. She'll pull through."

Optimistic words coming from someone who was trying to make a demon deal a second ago. I choose to ignore her. Soon the others come back and I no longer have to worry about her talking to me.

Chapter 15

Andrew and Jenny convince the others to get a hotel. I see that Natalie's siblings share her trait to worry about others. Ryan gives me his number and I reassure them that I will call if there is any change.

"You really should go home," Ryan says, "or at least get some sleep."

"I'm fine."

He nods and kisses Natalie on the forehead before leaving with the others. I pull out my phone and check in with the neighbors. Shadow is fine and they ask if everything is okay. All I had told them was I had an emergency and needed them to watch Shadow. I tell them yes and that hopefully I will be home soon. They assure me that I can take as long as I want and they will take care of Shadow. I thank them and hang up. They really are good people. I wonder why fate cursed them with a demon neighbor.

I look back at Natalie and say to her, "I wonder why fate cursed you with a demon boyfriend."

I close my eyes and rub my temples. I probably should eat something. My body was running on pure power at this point. Maybe I could ask one of the nurses to get me something. They seemed to feel sorry for me. They gave me this look every time they came in to check on Natalie. Admiration and something else; pity, yeah, that was the look.

"Pity. Now that isn't something I'm used to." I take her hand again, lay my head down and close my eyes. My body is tired and my mind is tired. "Maybe sleep wouldn't be a bad idea."

"You're cute when you're asleep," a scratchy whisper says.

I shoot up and gaze into grey eyes, open grey eyes. Natalie smiles at me and I resist the urge to pick her up and dance around the room.

"You're awake," I whisper, clutching her hand. She squeezes my hand and nothing has ever felt so good.

"My throat," she whispers, her voice still scratchy.

I hurriedly grab the water and pour her a cup. I carefully hand it to her and she takes it and drinks it slowly. When she's done, she sighs and I take it back.

"That's better," she says. Her voice is back to normal.

"How do you feel?"

"Like I was hit by a truck."

"I'll get the doctor." I jump up but she grabs my hand.

"Wait," she says. I sit back down. "Tell me why you're here."

This was it.

"I'm here because I love you. I love you Natalie and I'm so sorry for leaving. I was trying to keep you safe but you ended up hurt anyway. I promise I'll never leave you again. I swear that I'll be completely honest with you, about me, my life, everything. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I want to be able to kiss you and hold you in my arms forever. I'll make sure nothing like this happens ever again. I promise that you will be safe. I promise to love you no matter what. I can't help what I am but I hope you can look past that and love me too because I have never felt anything so strongly as my love for you."

A weight lifts from my shoulders as I finish the last word. I stare into her eyes, waiting for a response. My heart hammers in my chest as the seconds tic by. Her head tilts slightly and her lips part. But what comes out is the last thing I expected.

Laughter.

The laughter is cut off quickly as they cause pain to shoot through her body. She clutches her broken ribs and breathes deeply, trying to stop the pain. I'm stuck between concern for her and hurt for her disregard of my profession of love.

"Ow, oh ow, that hurts," she breathes.

"Why are you laughing?" I ask, resisting the urge to fuss and check to see if the laughter has caused her injuries to reform.

She takes a few more breaths before tilting her head towards me. Her eyes twinkle and her mouth turns up in a smile.

"Because," she says, "all you had to say was I love you."

I had been leaning close to her and she grabs me by the shirt and yanks me towards her. My mouth crashes into hers and I kiss her for the first time in a month. Her lips are exactly as I remember. I'd gone over my memories of her countless times since I left but they lacked the luster of reality. They liked the warmth of life. Careful of her hurt body, I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her softly. The dead stillness is gone from her and my heart sings in relief. When she was unconscious, I hadn't let myself think about what would happen if she didn't wake up. Either because I believed she would or because deep down I knew, if she was in danger of dying, I would make a deal for her. Even if I had to take from her family, I would have. She would have hated me for it but she would have been alive and that's all that would have mattered.

The heart monitor starts beeping rapidly and I end the kiss, worried that it's too much for her. She looks at me with that complete happiness look and I know that if she always looks at me like that then I'll know I'm keeping my promise. I shake off my own dreamy thoughts and stare at her seriously.

"No more. You're hurt."

She smiles at me.

"You worry too much."

"I have a lot to worry about. You're worth it though."

She closes her eyes and leans her face into my hand.

"I love you too."

It feels good to hear her say those words. After everything, I wasn't sure if she would take me back. I kiss her on the forehead. She opens her eyes and stares at me determinedly.

"Now get the doctor," she says, "I want to go home."

Chapter 16

Natalie didn't get her wish. She wasn't happy when the doctor said she would have to stay a week before they even considered releasing her. Their main concerns were the broken ribs and the head injury. I agreed with them. I was sure she was healing just fine but she had still suffered a lot and I wasn't sure she was ready physically or mentally to go home.

I watched her constantly to see if she showed any signs of mental or emotional trauma. Flinches when someone got too close, darkness in her eyes when she spaced out, forced smiles, fake laughter, anything that might suggest she was suffering from memories of the attack but I didn't see any. I almost never looked away either.

Over the next week, as she gradually healed, her family started to go back home. Her brother was first. He had to return to his family and job. Next was the sister and Grandma Pam. Both left at the urging of Natalie who knew Jenny's family needed her and Grandma Pam needed to be back home and not in a hotel unequipped with supplies for her condition. Her parents took more convincing and a lot of promises from me that I would take care of her and keep them updated on her health. Even after all the urging and promises, they didn't leave until the doctor assured them she was completely out of the woods.

At the end of the week, they examined her again and declared she was healthy enough to return home as long as she stayed in bed and did very little activity. Her arm and ribs were healing nicely, her scans showed no signs of brain swelling, and her cuts and bruises were slowly disappearing. After another week she would have to come back in for a checkup and if everything was still healing properly then she could slowly start getting back to a normal routine.

As I help Natalie finish with the paperwork that would allow her to go home, the police come in.

Natalie smiles at the officers.

"How are you doing today?" she asks.

"We're fine, Miss. We came to inform you that your house has been cleared and is no longer a crime scene. When you are ready, you can return anytime," one of them says.

"Perfect timing, I'm being released today," she says cheerfully.

"That's good to hear," the other one says.

Natalie signs the final piece of paperwork and hands them all back to me.

"Can you go give these to the nurses?"

"Of course."

I walk past the officers and they both nod at me. They no longer suspected me after they visited Natalie when she regained consciousness; she had told them what had happened.

After driving back from my place she had entered her house to find three men robbing her. She attempted to flee but they caught her and beat her before running away. She'd tried to call the police but passed out before she could. She had remained calm the whole time and patiently repeated the details over and over for the police. The police seemed to think it was just a robbery gone wrong but that didn't sit well with me. Why hadn't they taken anything after they beat her? Why would they even hurt her? A burglary charge was better that an assault charge. It was possible that in the heat of things, their darkness rose up but something didn't feel right about that either.

I arrive at the nurses' station and hand over the paperwork. They give me a few final instructions because smiling warmly and wishing us well. I think they were impressed by me. Whenever they thought I was out of earshot they would whisper to Natalie about how amazing I was for never leaving her side.

I return their smiles and head back to the room. My senses are normal so I don't hear their conversation until I'm at the door.

"You're sure?" says one of the officers. The taller one I think.

"Yes, I'm sure," replies Natalie.

"Alright, we will follow this up. If you remember anything more, just give us a call," the tall one says.

"I will."

I walk in and the short one coughs when he sees me. The others turn and look at me.

"Am I all set?" Natalie asks brightly.

"Yeah, you're all ready to go."

I turn to the officers. Between what I overheard and the strange atmosphere in the room that wasn't there before I left, I know something is off.

"Have you made any progress on finding the people responsible?" I ask them.

They quickly glance at Natalie.

"Not at this time," they answer stiffly. They quickly leave and I turn back to Natalie.

"What was that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did something happen when I left?"

"No, they were just asking a few more questions is all."

She smiles but I still feel like something isn't right. I decide to let it go for now.

"Are you sure you want to go home? You don't have to go back there."

"I'll be fine," she assures me.

I stare at her a long time before nodding and picking up the last of her belongings.

______________

I help Natalie get into the car, easing her in like the broken treasure she is. She complains as I buckle her in but a kiss ends her complaints. Once she's safely in I get in and drive away from the hospital. The first time I've left since I got there the night Natalie was attacked. Natalie had tried to get me to go home but I wouldn't. Natalie's dad had been ecstatic when I asked him if he could drive my car to the hospital so I could drive her home when the time came.

"This isn't the way to my house," she says, looking out the window, "where are we going?"

"You'll see."

We drive in silence, Natalie staring out the window, trying to figure out where I'm going. As we get closer to our destination, I say to her, "Close your eyes."

She looks at me suspiciously but complies. I take a few turns and enter a quiet family neighborhood. I pull up to a green house and kill the engine. I get out and open her door, unbuckling her and picking her up. I hold her carefully so I don't damage her ribs. Her eyelids start to open.

"Not yet, keep them closed."

"This better be good," she says, faking irritation.

"It will be."

I carry her up to the door and use my shadows to unlock it. I carry her inside and shut the door behind us. The house lacks that lived in feel but hopefully that will change.

"Alright, you can open them."

She does and I watch emotions play across her face, excitement turning to confusion.

"Who's house is this?" she asks, looking around.

"Mine. Ours if you want it to be."

Her confusion turns to surprise.

"Ours? What about the homes we already have?"

"They aren't safe."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a lot I need to tell you, Natalie." My voice is somber and her expression turns worried.

"Well," she says cheerfully, "it's not like I can run away."

I appreciate her trying to lighten the mood. I kiss her on top of the head.

"I'll show you the house first."

I carry her throughout the house, giving her a tour. The house is furnished but there isn't much decoration. Natalie doesn't seem to notice; she oohhs and aahhs as we make our way room by room. The house is one story with two bedrooms and two baths. It has a big fenced in backyard with a porch and a couple fruit trees. The kitchen is moderate but the living room is big and has a fireplace. I save the master bedroom for last. Natalie's eyes sweep the room when we enter. They settle on the canopied four poster bed.

"That looks comfy," she says, eyeballing it.

"Why don't you find out?" I place her gentle on the bed and she sighs as she leans against the soft pillows and sinks into the down comforter.

"It feels so good to be in an actual bed again," she groans.

"I'm sure you'll be sick of it in a week," I joke.

"Not likely." She lays her head back and closes her eyes. "Is it possible to be tired after all the sleeping and lying around I've done?"

"Your body is working overtime trying to heal. It's natural to be tired."

"When did you get so smart?" She smiles.

"I thought my brain was what made you fall in love with me," I tease.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling."

I laugh.

"Go ahead and sleep. I need to run some errands but I'll be back in an hour or so. Will you be okay?"

She looks up at me.

"Do you really have to go?"

I lean down to push her hair behind her ear and kiss her.

"I do. It's important. You'll see when I get back."

"Okay." She nods and closes her eyes again. I cover her with a blanket and close the bedroom door partway to lessen any noise from the rest of the house. I quickly check the windows and backdoor to make sure they are locked. When I'm satisfied that she is safe, I leave the house, locking it behind me.

Chapter 17

One hour and thirteen minutes later I pull back into the driveway of the house. Shadow looks at the house curiously.

"New home, buddy."

He follows me as I get out and grab the kennel from the backseat. Leo is locked safely inside. When the police had talked to me the night Natalie was attacked I had also asked about Leo but they hadn't seen a cat at the crime scene. So I'd called her neighbors and asked if they would keep an eye out for him. A few days later I got a call from one of them saying they had seen him wandering outside of Natalie's house. They took him home and took care of him while she was in the hospital.

Shadow trots beside me as I carry Leo up the pathway and open the door. I set him down in the entry way and Shadow goes to explore the house. I take a few trips back to the car to get the rest of the things. Inside the bags were Natalie's clothes, some of mine, groceries, the animal gear, and a few other things. I set up Leo's litter box and let him out. I put down water and food bowls for him and Shadow before checking to make sure Natalie is still asleep. I lock up the house and get back into my car. I drive it to a storage unit 20 minutes away and lock the car up inside, then I teleport back to the house. Natalie is awake when I get there. I walk into the bedroom and she's stroking Leo who's curled up on her lap. Shadow is lying by her feet on the bed. Guess he figured out avoiding her was impossible.

"You were right," she says, "it was important. It wouldn't be home without them. " She looks lovingly at the two animals.

She said home.

"You're okay with living here then?" I ask.

"I don't mind living here at all. I know you have your reasons. I just want you to share them with me."

I sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed.

"You need to know everything. I'm just scared you will see me differently afterwards."

"I would never stop loving you."

"I've done bad things Natalie. Countless-"

"Shh," she hushes me and takes my hand. "Trust me, please."

She stares at me with loving grey eyes. How could I refuse her anything?

"Very well," I say. "I'll tell you everything."

______________

And I did. I told her everything I could possibly tell someone. Everything about how I was born, what I did, how I did it, who I was, who we all were, I talked till our eyes grew heavy and then I talked some more. My heart fluttered around like a bat the whole time. I watched her face for signs of disgust and hatred for me but she hadn't lied to me. She didn't stop loving me.

"So this is your safe house?" she asks. After explaining everything and answering what felt like a million questions, finally, she asks about the house.

"Yes. I thought it might come in handy one day if they turned on me."

"They would do that?"

"You never know what a demon will do."

"Hmm," she mumbles, deep in thought.

"What is it?'

"Nothing, just wondering if I'm crazy."

"Why would you be crazy?"

"Well, I'm lying in the arms of a demon and I never felt safer in my entire life." She laughs tiredly.

"Maybe you're a little crazy." I kiss the top of her head and she yawns. "I think it's time you got some sleep."

It was late into the night and I was drained from weeks of no sleep and hours of talking. I needed rest as well.

She nods and scoots closer to my side. I turn off the light and pull up the covers, snuggling her in the warm blankets. She sighs happily as she falls asleep. I watch her for a few minutes; enjoying the feel of her body pressed against mine. Shadow and Leo are curled up; sound asleep, by our feet. I smile to myself as I watch them all sleep. Maybe I'm crazy too; because I've never been happier than with a couple furry beings and a tiny grey eyed book lover in my arms.

Chapter 18

A warm tongue wakes me up. I shove Shadow's face away and wipe the slobber from my cheek.

"What is it?" I groggily pat his head but he shoves my hand away and whines. Then I hear it. Crying.

Natalie quietly cries and moans in her sleep. I knew eventually that the attack would affect her; I just hoped I could protect her from it somehow. I reach out to wake her from her nightmare but something stops me. I know I shouldn't, but I have to.

"I'm sorry, my sweet, just this once."

I close my eyes and invade her mind.

Screams slice into my heart immediately.

"Stop! Please!" Natalie pleads as she crawls away. Three men stalk after her, cruel smiles plastered on their faces. Anger fills me as I recognize one of the faces. The snake from the market.

My blood boils. I told him. I warned him. Now I'd kill him. First though I'd start with wiping him and this awful event from Natalie's memory. My shadows spread out, covering the men and the room, when they are completely submerged in black I start to crush the memory from existence.

"Stop!" Natalie yells.

She's suddenly right in front of me.

"Natalie, how did you-"

"Get out!" She yells, shoving me hard in the chest. I fall backwards out of her mind.

I wake up on the floor, gasping to get air into my surprised body. Natalie looks down at me accusingly from the bed.

"How could you?" she whispers.

"How could I? How could I?!" I jump up, flinging myself across the room in a rage. I needed to get out of the house.

"You're mad at me?" she asks incredulously. "I trusted you never to use your powers on me!"

"How could you not tell me who attacked you?" I stare back at her with the same accusing eyes that are looking at me.

"I knew you'd hurt them."

"They deserve to be hurt."

"No one deserves to be hurt, Jack."

"How can you say that? After what they did to you!"

"The police will take care of it."

"The police? Is that what was going on at the hospital? You told them and you didn't tell me?!

"Yelling at me doesn't change anything!"

The fire in my gut changes. She's right, it doesn't change anything, but I know what will. I hurriedly slip on my boots and start lacing them.

"Where are you going?" she asks. She's scared. Not of me but of what she thinks I'm going to do.

"Out."

"Please don't do this." Her eyes plead with me.

I stand up. Slowly the darkness consumes me.

"I'm sorry."

Then I vanish.

______________

Bones splinter as I slam them into walls. Blood sprays as I pierce flesh with razor like shadows. Tears streams as they beg for mercy.

"You can't do this, we have protection!" The crippled snake yells from his spot in the corner. I put him there so he could watch me work on his friends. I was saving him for last.

"No protection on earth can save you from me." My eyes burn red with fire. I was not stopping until each one of them felt the pain Natalie felt 100 times over. And then 1,000 times more.

"Oh he's not from earth and when he finds out you messed with his plan? Oh you'll be sorry." The snake coughs up blood. Strangely he is still smiling, his teeth stained red.

"Not from earth?" My curiosity spikes. I drop his friend and slither over in front of him. "Tell me more."

The snake laughs.

"He's like you." The blood red smile widens triumphantly.

"No one is like me." I trail my shadow down his face and he flinches. Good.

"I know what you are. He told me everything and he won't let you do a damn thing to me. It was our deal." The smile is gone, replaced with an unsure tremble.

"You made a deal?"

"No, he made a deal."

"Impossible."

"It's true! He came to us."

"Why? What for?"

"He wanted us to hurt her. Not kill her, just rough her up really good."

"Who?"

"I'm not telling you. He said if we told anyone his name that'd our deal would be off and he'd come for us."

I get right up in his face and breathe shadows into his eyes, blinding him. He screams and claws at his eyes.

"Now you won't see either of us coming. Give me a name before I rip it from you."

"I can't!" Water drips from his unseeing eyes.

"Very well."

For being one of Portland's notorious snakes, the man didn't hold out long.

Chapter 19

"Natalie!"

I pop into the bedroom and scan the room. She's sitting in the bed.

"Thank the stars, you're alright. Come on, we have to go." I start grabbing her things but she doesn't move, just stares at me. "Natalie, I know you are upset with me but there's no time. We have to leave."

She shakes her head no. I kneel in front of her, begging her to come with me. Just another no.

"Natalie, don't make me make you leave. Someone very bad is going to come after you and if I don't find us somewhere safe he'll take you from me."

Another shake of the head.

"Dammit Natalie, I-"

Wait. I know what's wrong. I take her hands and soften my voice.

"Do you remember what you said to me in the diner when I asked if you could trust me?"

She shakes her head yes.

"You said it was my eyes. You saw something in them. I've never forgotten that, and do you know what I see in your eyes now?"

She tilts head questioningly and I stab her through the chest with one of my shadows. Shock plays across her face. She looks down at the black spear, a trickle of blood drips from her lips.

"Darkness. You're not Natalie," I growl.

I pull back my shadow and the figure in front of me pools onto the floor like putty. A Shadow Mimic. A really good one but Mimics are severely limited. They can't talk and their movements are restricted to one area. This one was allowed face movements.

"That took you less time than I thought," a voice purrs behind me. I turn around.

"Kest." The name leaks from my mouth like air. A rare slice of fear runs through my body. "Where is she?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I have some unfinished business with her."

"You mean, you don't have her?"

"I wish I did but sadly, no. She wasn't here when I arrived."

What? Where did she go? She must have left after I went after the snake. I breathe a sigh of relief; she was safe, for now.

"Don't look so relieved. Once I find her then the games will begin."

"Don't make this about her. You're mad at me. I broke the rules, just take me and be done with it."

"You know that's not how we do things, Jack. You have to be made an example of. It's nothing personal, just business."

"You won't find her; not before me."

"I won't need to. You will bring her to me."

"Why in hell would I do that?"

"Because if you don't; I will slaughter her entire family, all the way down to the sixth cousins."

"You wouldn't. It would attract too much attention."

Kest laughs.

"Things are changing, Jack. The big man wants attention."

"Why?"

"Tsk tsk, that kind of information is only for those loyal to the cause. Last I checked, that wasn't you."

"I am! I've still been bringing in deals."

"Last I checked lowly deals and shacking up with a pure human wasn't the job description." His eyes flicked red. "You have until tonight."

Kest vanishes in a vortex of inky smoke and I immediately teleport to Natalie's house. She isn't there. Next I try the pound, no again. The bookstore, her job, the library, the park, her job, she's nowhere. There's only one other place she'd be but I don't know why she'd go there.

I teleport one more time. I pop into a room with familiar furniture. Furniture I hadn't gotten around to breaking again yet. I tune my ears and follow the sounds of breathing to my bedroom. Brown hair sweeps across my pillow. Shadow and Leo lay at the foot of the bed. I sigh and collapse onto the bed. Her eyes open, revealing grey pools of sadness.

"Thought this would be the last place you'd look for me," she says.

"It was," I admit.

We lay in silence, neither one of us wanting to say what needed to be said. But finally, she does, she's braver than I am.

"Did you find them?"

"Yes."

"Did you hurt them?"

"Yes."

"Did you kill them?"

"Yes."

A minute of silence.

"I figured."

I stare into her eyes.

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes."

"Do you wish you didn't?"

"No."

"I don't know why fate cursed you to fall in love with me."

"Maybe it's because of all the spiders I've squashed. Karma is catching up to me."

I laugh and stroke her face.

"Karma catches up to us all eventually."

"I suppose you're right."

"How did you get here?"

"I took a cab."

"They let you bring the animals?"

"I paid extra."

"How'd you get in?"

"Swiped your keys."

"Why did you leave?"

"I was angry and I didn't want to just be waiting there when you got back. I didn't want you to think I approved."

"I'm glad you left."

"You are?"

I nod.

"Natalie, everything has gone terribly wrong and I'm afraid I won't be able to fix it."

"I don't want to know."

"This isn't something that we can just ignore," I say in surprise.

"I know."

"Then why?"

"Can you do something for me, Jack?"

"Anything."

"Can you love me? Love me completely? I want to know you, wholly. Just for a few hours can it just be us? Together?"

I knew what she was asking and I wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted for the rest of her life. Thinking on it, that might not be very far off.

"Okay."

I kiss her. She kisses me. I kiss her again. And for the next few hours I grant her wish. I let it just be us. I give her what she wants, I grant her wish, but instead of taking something for it, I give. I give my heart, wholly and completely. And nothing would ever feel as good as that.

Chapter 20

"So Kest wants me?"

"Yes."

"It's not going to be quick is it?"

"No, it won't. I'll fight, of course I'll fight, but you need to be prepared for if I lose."

"You won't lose."

"How do you know?"

"Because you love me. You won't let him hurt me or my family."

"I wish love was all it took."

"You'd be surprised."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Shadow and Leo sit staring at us solemnly. This could be the last we see of each other. The ever helpful neighbors will take care of them. I kneel down and pat Shadow on the head.

"You be good for those poor folks alright?"

He lays his head on my knee, staring up at me with big sorrowful eyes.

"I will return if I can, my friend."

Natalie says her goodbyes as well, stroking and holding Leo close, but all too soon the deadline approaches. They whine and mew as we open the door to leave. Natalie goes first and my heart clenches as I shut the door, sealing their cries inside.

______________

We pull up to an abandoned building outside of the city. The old blue paint peels and flakes like sunburned skin; beneath it is a rusted brown color. The building used to be a warehouse for a construction company about fifty years ago; now it was just Kest's hideout.

"This is it?" Natalie asks.

"Yes." My hands squeeze the steering wheel.

"Jack," she says calmly taking my hands, "don't worry. I know everything will be fine."

She looks into my eyes with such confidence that I almost believe her.

"Let's go."

The condition of the inside of the building matches the outside. Kest never had anything fixed when he moved in. I think he likes the natural ramshackleness. It probably reminds him of hell in a way. Natalie walks close to me and I guide her around fallen structures and chunks of concrete. There are no lights until we get to the middle of the warehouse where Kest has a ring of lights set high up on the ceiling. The effect is a single circle of light surrounded by darkness. It never occurred to me before but I wonder if Kest was going for some kind of heaven symbolism. Then again maybe it's just so there is a sanctuary where no shadows can be used to hide in.

We enter the circle and wait. Only a second passes before Kest emerges from the darkness in front of us. He's in his usual tailored suit; in one hand he holds a glass of wine, in the other a whip. Natalie stiffens beside me and I resist the urge to comfort her. I wouldn't bring any weakness to Kest's attention.

"Welcome," Kest greets. "You find the place okay?"

I scoff.

"Don't waste your breath on pleasantries, Kest. It doesn't become you."

"If you want to cut straight to it then I am more than happy to oblige."

He downs the rest of his drink then lets the glass slip from his fingers. Before the glass shatters against the concrete the end of the whip wraps around Natalie's wrist and jerks her towards him. I send a shadow shooting from the darkness and slice into the whip, severing the tip. I move Natalie behind me.

"I won't give her up without a fight," I promise him.

"Good. I want it to be worth it."

Kest sends shadows shooting at us from all angles. I shield Natalie with shadows of my own and teleport behind Kest, tackling him. He disappears before my fingers even graze his jacket. A rush of air warns me that he is attacking from behind and I dodge to the left and avoid his shadow; but his whip catches me across the back. It breaks skin but I ignore the painful stinging and teleport again. This time I appear in front of him, slashing at his chest. He backsteps and all I get his fabric. Pain blooms in my wrist and I look down to see shadows wrapped around it like a bracelet. They squeeze until my wrist shatters.

I ignore the pain and attack again, this time from below. I shoot up using the shadows from his shoes and knock him off his feet. I hold him down and pummel him with shadows. He blocks all but one and it severs the tendons in his shoulder. He grits his teeth below me.

"Enough," he commands.

His shadows attack again and I teleport away to regain my breath. Natalie is still safe in the shadow bubble I placed around her. As long as I'm conscious, those shadows will remain strong.

"Why delay the inevitable, Jack?"

Across the circle he sheds his jacket, blood drips from his shoulder. Instead of answering I grab the nearest concrete slab with my shadows and lob it at him. He slices it in half with his own shadows.

"Neither of you are getting out of here alive."

Shadow after shadow I shoot at him but he cocoons himself in darkness and none hit their mark. I breathe heavily. All I can do is fight with shadows. My fire would have no effect on another demon.

"I know you care for her but this is a losing fight. You are no match for me. How can you hope to defeat me?"

I teleport above him but he swats me away like a fly.

"You're not even a demon anymore."

I growl and send a wall of black shooting at him. It staggers him and I slide in for another attack but he sidesteps and wraps his fingers around my throat. I teleport away before he crushes my larynx.

"If you were, you would have ravaged her soul and left her broken and hollow."

I can't keep this up. I'm out of breath and energy. Kest is older and stronger. He's right; I can't beat him. Before I can attack again, he teleports and slams me to the ground. My head smacks against the concrete and I slither away.

"I'll finish what you couldn't. I'll use up all her light and when she is just an empty husk then I'll kill her and send her soul to hell where it will writher and scream for all eternity."

"No," I croak.

"No? What say do you have?"

He catches me by the leg; shadows lift me up only to slam me down against the floor. My ribs crack and I cough up blood. The pain sweeps over me and threatens to knock me out but I have to stay awake. I have to for Natalie. Kest places his foot on my chest and presses down. More blood comes up.

"Lower the shadows, you can't beat me."

Blackness creeps in and I fight to breathe; my lung is punctured though and I've hit the concrete too many times. My healing can't keep up with the trauma. I won't be able to fight it much longer. I'll fail. My shadows will fail. I won't even be with her for the end. I'm sorry, Natalie. I tried. Love wasn't enough.

Somewhere far away I hear a voice.

"He might not be able to beat you but I can."

As the voice speaks, the pressure is lifted and I can breathe a little better.

"What are you?" I can hear Kest's panicked voice ask. I struggle against the fog, trying to see who has him so scared.

"Just a human," says the voice. "A human who made a deal."

No.

I fight the pain and turn my head. Natalie stands before Kest, blue fire dripping from her finger tips, a vacate look in her now too bright eyes, and burning off to the side with blue fire, the remnants of my shadows that were keeping her safe.

No.

"You won't hurt anyone, ever again," she says.

The fire that drips from her hands spreads out, forming a circle around Kest. Natalie raises her arms and the flames grow higher. Kest stands still in shock. His eyes look scared. Slowly, she brings her hands together and the ring grows smaller and smaller until her hands come together like she's praying. The flames follow suit and converge onto Kest. Howls of pain come from the flames as Kest's whole being is burned by the holy fire.

No.

I watch as Natalie stands before the flames. Her hands together, still dripping fire, the blue light casting across her face, and tears streaming down her cheeks. After a minute the screams stop and she separates her hands, bringing them to her sides. The flames extinguish, leaving nothing of Kest behind. She turns towards me, water pooling in her grey eyes that are glowing because of the fire inside of her.

"I'm sorry," she says.

No.

Her eyes close and she collapses onto the floor.

"No!" I scream.

I teleport to her, my injuries forgotten. I cradle her. Her body is so cold, like she's made of ice. I search with my hands and my ears to find a pulse but there's nothing. Only stillness. Only silence. I sit in the silence; the dead silence, until dawn breaks outside and I'm no longer surrounded by light and darkness, but just different shades of light.

Something rustles in the rafters and I tense, ready to fight and defend. Defend what though? There was nothing left to protect. My eyes stare straight ahead. Bare feet come into view along with white pants and the tips of white wings.

"What do you want?" I growl.

"Easy, shadow one," the angel says, "I'm only here for her. You are safe."

"What?" I ask, confused. I look up and see the angel's face. It's the same one that showed up at Natalie's house.

"I'm here for Natalie. Our deal must be fulfilled."

"You," I say accusingly. "She made a deal with you."

"That is correct."

"What was it?"

"We would give her the power to vanquish the demon threatening to kill her and her loved ones. Also she wanted no action to come against you."

I gritted my teeth.

"In exchange for what?"

"In exchange, she would become an angel."

No.

"You can't do that to her!"

"The deal has already been made. You have no say in it."

"Did she know? Did she know what she was agreeing to?"

"We explained everything clearly to her, she still agreed to the terms."

Of course she did, because Natalie was a Sacrificer. She would do anything to help the people she loved; even if it meant giving up eternal peace to fight an eternal war. As an angel she would fight until either there is no more fighting to be done or until she is killed.

"Don't you guys have enough warriors?"

"Soldiers are always welcome."

In other words, they were running low on fighters and looking to recruit. Maybe heaven wasn't doing so well and that's why Kest said the boss wanted to make waves in the system of things.

"What will happen to her?"

"I will collect her body and soul to be prepared for transformation."

"What does that mean?"

"Her memory and mind will be wiped, made clean to be filled with the Lord's will."

"She won't remember anything? Who she was will be gone?"

"That is correct."

Angels have no emotions. They are vessels for orders and salvation. All those emotions Natalie felt so strongly and purely, gone. Her life and memories, gone. Her family and friends, gone. Me, gone.

"I won't let you have her."

"You would go against your love's wishes?"

"I-"

"This is what she wanted. This is what she chose. You can die here to defy them or if you are victorious then you keep her soul trapped, in nothingness because as soon as it enters heaven, it is ours."

She was right. Even if I won in my condition, I couldn't bring Natalie back. I could try and keep her from becoming an angel but was being trapped in a limbo any better? Natalie had made her deal and I wouldn't go against it. I loved her too much.

"Okay."

I look at Natalie one last time, rememorizing everything about her. I stand up, cradling her in my arms. Her body is cold and stiff. Natalie is gone. I place her in the angel's arms and kiss her forehead.

"Goodbye, my love."

The angel nods and wraps her wings around herself, concealing Natalie. I blink and they are gone.

Silence.

I listen to the silence and for the first time in my life my eyes fill with water instead of fire.

Epilogue

(5 months later)

Natalie's funeral was beautiful. All her family was there. They were devastated and they all mourned her loss while celebrating her life. None of them doubted that she was happy in heaven. I had spun a story for the family about how she died and why there wasn't a body. I told them there had been a fire. I actually had to burn her house for it. It was a lame cover up and it made no sense but I used my powers to help push them to accept it. Well, except for Grandma Pam. Pam couldn't be fooled so I told her the truth. I think it gave her peace knowing that she had died taking out a demon. I kept Natalie's fate of becoming an angel to myself though. It would do no good for her to know that part.

After the angel took her, I went home. Like always, Shadow knew. Leo though was anxious and confused for weeks. He meowed and paced constantly. Eventually, I think he realized what happened because he has calmed down. He's not relaxed like he used to be when Natalie was alive but I can only hope it comes with time. He sticks close to Shadow and I think Shadow likes having him around. Leo keeps him company while I hunt.

Turns out Kest kept my indiscretions to himself. After no one came for me I made a trip down below and everything was fine. Kest was considered missing, likely killed but there were no leads besides it probably being an angel. The region had lost its overseer though and a replacement was needed. Thanks to my exemplary record, I was offered the position and I decided to take it.

I took it because it was expected of me. Every demon wants to move up in the ranks; it would be a red flag if I had turned it down. But a part of me worried I just didn't have it in me anymore to make deals. Being the region overseer meant I was the go between the demons and hell. I could make deals if I wanted but I was kept busy keeping demons in line, smoothing over incidents, and transferring demons between locations when the time came. I was doing the paperwork while the others dug the ditches so to speak.

After a while I asked if I could start a new project. One that I hoped would benefit hell and its wants. It wasn't a hard sell, my higher ups readily agreed and put me in charge of the project and gave me unlimited resources. That's what I was working on now. Reports from across the world were spread out all over my table. A huge map was tacked to my wall. Two colors of tacks were stuck to it; yellow for possible, green for confirmed. I called it ALT. Short for Angel Location Tracking, and it was going to lead me straight to Natalie.

Note from the author:

Thank you for reading my book. I'm very proud of this book and hope it and its characters touched your heart in some way. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you did, please consider taking a moment to leave a review or getting in touch with me; I'd love to hear what you thought of it.

Thanks!

Tiffany Allen

About the author:

Tiffany Allen is a long time book lover of 21 years. She was born and raised in Oregon but spent her high school years, plus a few more, in Alaska before moving back to Oregon. She spends most of her time reading, writing, taking pictures, running a vlog, and enjoying time with her loving dog, August. Softest Shadow is her second published novel and she plans to have many more.

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