People, I'm going to talk about feminism.
It's great, lots of positive stuff happening.
Guys are getting better, I hear them say things like :
"If you're walking behind a woman at night,
you should cross the street."
That's cool. It took me a while to realize
I'm the guy in that situation.
One night I'm behind a girl and she starts walking faster
I'm like, "Is there a guy behind us ?"
So you know, I start speeding up too !
Weirdest harassment ever,
I passed her, like "What are you doing ?"
Like a soccer player in the wrong jersey
"I'm on your team ! Stop running, it's just you and me !"
Probably thought I was some psycho like
"Chill out, there's nobody there !"
I'm one of those harmless people that are still intimidating.
It sucks.
One time I was on a date with a woman who was 6 ft tall,
and I'm 5ft2.
At the end of the date she's looking at me like
"You better kiss me now!", and I'm like
"You better bend over then, stupid !
Or nothing's gonna happen.
Don't look at me like that, what am I supposed to do ?
I'm not gonna jump for a headbump !"
I was thinking of solutions,
like low-kicking her, "There you go, romance !".
And I don't bust UFC moves to get laid, so I left.
I'm not the kind of woman that gets harassed in the street.
Lots of my friends get "Hey bitch ! Hey !", like all day.
I don't have that chance. Never happens.
One time it did, and as a first-timer I wasn't ready.
One guy was like "Hey!" and I said "Yes?".
I was flattered, wrong reaction obviously.
I was like "Okay, someone's hitting on me this time  !
Street casting, alright baby what do you want ?"
And he said the craziest thing :
"Can you blow me, please?"
I was shocked like, "Please?"
My first street harassment, and the guy's being polite !
So I was polite too, I thought
"Well, I have a mouth, he's got a penis, it kinda fits you know...
I'm not in a hurry, I like helping people, what would a woman do ?"
So I started chatting with him, he was kinda nice actually,
I'm like "How come you're asking this in the street ?"
and he said "Sometimes it works."
Well, I wanna meet these women too !
People are too honest sometimes.
One time I was at the airport,
I'm going through security, putting my stuff in the bin.
And one TSA lady goes "Step aside, please."
And I know the answer but I still go "Why me ?"
Because I may be black but I'm also French.
I gotta throw a fit
"Why me ? I'd like to know !
Not the guy before, not the guy after, how strange..."
And she said : "Racial profiling."
She said the real thing !
I think it was her first day at work post-training,
and she highlighted the wrong word.
We both looked at each other surprised, like...
I can't get mad at someone telling the truth, I was like
"Well played, you can search me now, enjoy !
I knew that, how do you know ?"
The correct term is "Random baggage check", for next time !
Racism still has a long way to go.
It even infects people who experience it.
It drove my mum crazy.
She says these insane things.
A couple years ago we're arguing on the phone,
and I'm like "I don't want to talk to you anymore.".
She keeps texting me like "Why ?" and I'm like
"Leave me alone."
Then she says "Is it because I'm black ?".
I was expecting a "lol" but it never showed up.
We haven't fixed racism, we've invented a new one :
"anti-white racism".
It's funny. If you have to specify "white", it doesn't concern you.
Too many white people in this room, way too many.
"We'd like to laugh but we're not ready yet !"
You've figured out how to gentrify issues, congrats !
If someone calls you "honkey" it's just a slur, not actual racism.
But I wanna be positive, we are moving forward, albeit slowly.
We have to be tolerant, that's my message tonight.
Like 2 years ago I came here, and I did a bit about quitting smartphones.
I quit because it's the byproduct of slave labour.
Practical but wrong.
So I made a whole speech that got millions of views
I just bought a new Iphone, is what I'm trying to say.
I couldn't help it. It was too hard.
I felt like Nicolas Hulot, like "We can do this !"
A year later, "Forget it !"
"We're never gonna make it ! I'll be crying over here."
It was hard getting back to it, I felt like a sensitive slave driver.
I bought it, then a group of teens recognised me in the street.
I had the iPhone in my hand, and they're like
"We've seen the video, we're going to quit too !"
Well go quit over there, leave me alone.
It was embarrassing.
It wasn't even a used one, I bought the last model.
I thought "If these kids have to work,
it might as well be for something !"
Which is poor reasoning.
Trying to rationalize it, like
"I'm not making this kid work, I'm sponsoring him !"
That's what we're all doing !
Apple is a great NGO !
I'm still waiting for that drawing, though.
But we are slowly moving forward.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
When there's a family issue, you can't fix it right away.
It takes years, generations even.
So imagine a whole planet.
We can't change everything at once.
Look at my father.
I'm a big LGBTQI+ activist.
Yes, that's a lot of letters.
We're going for the whole alphabet, we win when we get to Z.
We're inclusive
And recently I was at to the pride parade,
I was invited to do a speech to support our rights.
My brother wanted to come with me, he's 19.
And my father said " No ! He's not going to the grey price !"
"Grey price" !
I've been talking about this shit on TV and radio for a decade
I go home, "Grey price". Game over.
Well he's not, he's going to the "Gay pride" so you're fine !
I don't know why prices would be grey but it seems nice.
"Grey price parade"... Brutal.
So we are moving forward slowly.
Recently I got a homophobic message that was trying to be open-minded.
Stop opening your mind so much, it makes air bubbles inside
Close it down a bit.
The message was crazy, it said :
"Shirley, you're allowed to practice homosexuality !"
Well thank you for allowing me, how nice of you !
The word "practice" is unbelievable.
How is it a sport ?
Like I go to the gym from 5 to 7
just to eat pussy.
Like "Yeah exercise !"
It's probably a martial art. I'm wearing a kimono, "Hajime !"
"Scissors !"
Then go home to my husband and kids because it's a fucking sport.
I go back to my normal life and talk about it at dinner, like a sport.
Seriously
But we are moving forward,
That's why communities matter, and why I talk about it a lot.
African, LGBTQI+...
But it's not enough, it's just a means to an end.
Recently I was talking with my sound guy who's white,
and he said, "Why are you all so community-centered ? White people, we're not."
That's funny. "We're not".
Yes you are, but it's ok. You just have to be aware of it.
That's the problem a lot of the time, you just don't know.
My father used to say
If you're too close to a book, you can't read it. Take a step back
I'll give you one example before I leave,
"Flesh-colored stockings". Whose flesh is it exactly ?
They don't look good on me at all.
Thanks for listening, all of you.
