CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY 
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
* SOME WALK BY NIGHT *
* SOME FLY BY DAY *
* SOMETHING IS SWEETER *
* 'CAUSE WE MET
ON THE WAY *
* 'CAUSE WE MET
ON THE WAY **
MOM, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
YOU HAVE
HOMEWORK TO DO.
BUT IT'S
 MOONLIGHTING!
MOONLIGHTING?
YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THE SHOW ABOUT
THE TWO DETECTIVES.
A MAN AND A WOMAN.
AND THEY ARGUE A LOT,
AND ALL THEY REALLY
WANT TO DO IS SLEEP TOGETHER?
YEAH!
SOUNDS
LIKE TRASH TO ME.
BUT MOM!
WATCHING TV
ISN'T GOING
TO HELP YOU
ON YOUR
SHAKESPEARE
TEST TOMORROW.
YOU HAVE A LOT
OF READING TO DO.
LET'S GO.
BUT, MOM!
NO ARGUMENTS.
WHAT A DRAG.
GOOD MORROW, SIR.
I'M LUCENTIO,
COME HITHER FOR
TO SEE FAIR PADUA,
PLEASANT GARDEN
OF GREAT ITALY,
TO SEEK OUT
AND HAPPILY BEGIN
A COURSE OF LEARNING
AND STUDIES HEREIN.
YOU MISTAKETH
ME, SIR,
FOR SOMEONE
WHO CARETH.
COME...
I AM LUCENTIO
AND AM STEADFAST RESOLVED
TO SUCK THE SWEETS
OF SWEET--
I MUST AWAY,
AS I AM OFF TO FLOSS.
I AM LUCENTIO,
NEW ARRIVED
FROM DISTANT LANDS,
IN SEARCH OF...
IT'S MY FAULT
I GET STUCK
WITH ALL THE EXPOSITION?
BUT SOFT...
WHAT LIGHT THROUGH
YONDER WINDOW BREAKS?
GENTLEMEN!
ENOUGH, ENOUGH,
GENTLEMEN!
IMPORTUNE ME NO FARTHER,
FOR NOW I FIRMLY
AM RESOLVED
NOT TO BESTOW
MY YOUNGEST DAUGHTER
BEFORE I HAVE
A HUSBAND FOR THE ELDER.
AS I HAVE TOLD
THOSE BEFORE YOU,
THOUGH BIANCA
BE THE CHERISHED,
'TIS KATHERINA
MUST MARRY FIRST.
ONLY HENCE--
ONLY HENCE,
WILL BIANCA'S LOVELY HAND
BE MADE AVAILABLE.
BE MINDFUL,
I'M THE WEALTHIEST MAN
IN PADUA,
AND HE WHO WEDS KATHERINA
LANDS A DOWRY
YOU COULD CRY FOR.
ANY TAKERS?
NO WAY, JOSE!
GO BACK
TO THE HOGS.
WHAT, ARE
YOU NUTS?
HMM?
SCHOOL AND STUDIES
MAY ONE DAY
BRING HOME THE BACON,
BUT NO PROFIT GROWS
WHERE IS NO PLEASURE TAKEN.
ONLY STANDS
TWIXT ME AND BIANCA,
ONE SIMPLE ACT OF FATE.
SIMPLE, I SAY,
FOR HOW HARD COULD IT BE
TO FIND KATHERINA A MATE?
AAH!
RUN, HEATHEN, RUN,
AND KNOW WHAT AWAITS YOU
SHOULD YOU STOP!
AS YOUR MOUTH RUNNETH OFF,
SO MUST YOUR FEET RUN OFF
AND FROM A POOR,
DEFENSELESS WOMAN, NO LESS.
HA! IF DEFENSELESS
BE APT,
THEN WHAT AGAINST?
AN ARMY PERHAPS
OR A LION INCENSED!
AH! YOU SPEAK
OF ANIMALS.
THEN ALL 3 OF YOU
BE RATS.
AND 3 BLIND RATS
YOU'RE NOT,
AS CLEARLY YOU
CAME TO GAWK AT ME.
WE ONLY JUST ARRIVED
TO WOO AND BEWITCH.
HAVING NOT ADVANCE
KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU'D
BE SUCH A--
ENOUGH!
HAD THE RATS TAILS,
THOUGH LIKELY THEY'D BE
THRUST BETWEEN THEIR LEGS,
I'D BE MOVED
TO SLICE THEM OFF.
BUT I'LL LEAVE
WHAT'S LEFT THERE,
AND GIVE YOU THIS--
[WHINNIES]
HA HA HA.
SIR! BE YOU
SO FOND OF POEM,
THEN LET THESE
WORDS BE SAID--
THERE'S NOTHING
SO POETIC
AS A WELL-PLACED
SMACK UPSIDE
THE HEAD!
MEN!
FATHER!
IS IT
YOUR WILL, SIR,
TO MAKE A STALE
OF ME AMONGST
THESE MATES?
A TRINKET TO BE--
TO BE AUCTIONED OFF
TO HE WHO BIDS
THE HIGHEST?
I KNOW WHEREFORE
THESE MEN CAME--
FROM YOU!
IN ORDER
TO MARRY ME
AND CLEAR THE
PATH FOR YOUR
LITTLE ANGEL.
WELL, FATHER, NEVER
WILL A MAN
SENT BY YOU
WALK IN AND WALK OUT
WITH MY AFFECTIONS.
SISTER,
EVERYONE KNOWETH
THOU ART
JEALOUS OF ME.
I MEAN...
FAR BE IT FOR ME
TO RUSH YOU,
AS ONLY YOU WILL
KNOW WHEN YOU'VE
FOUND THE RIGHT MAN.
SISTER, FATHER,
PADUA...
GOEST THOU TO HELL!
[HISSES]
A PROBLEM,
NO DOUBT,
AND ONE IN NEED
OF SOLUTION BOLD.
FOR LOVE DOES,
OF A SUDDEN,
TAKE SUCH HOLD.
THE TASK, ALAS,
TO FIND A MATE
TO WEATHER
KATE'S TYPHOON,
BUT WHERE?
FOR SUCH A MAN
DOTH COME ALONG
BUT ONCE
IN A BLUE MOON.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
WHAT'S SHAKIN', Y'ALL?
FILL 'ER UP, LAD.
CLEAN THE BUGS
OUT OF HER TEETH.
TO BE...
OR NOT TO BE,
THAT
IS THE QUESTION.
WRONG PLAY.
NOW IS THE WINTER
OF OUR DISCONTENT--
WRONG PLAY.
FRIENDS,
ROMANS,
COUNTRYMEN...
LEND ME YOUR EARS--
Crowd:WRONG PLAY!
"VERONA,
FOR A WHILE,
I TAKE MY LEAVE"?
Crowd: AH...
TO SEE
MY FRIENDS IN PADUA.
AND WHAT
A FORTUITOUS
GALE IT IS
THAT BLOWS ME HERE.
SUCH WIND AS SCATTERS
YOUNG MEN THROUGH THE WORLD
TO SEEK THEIR FORTUNES
FARTHER THAN AT HOME,
WHERE SMALL
EXPERIENCE GROWS.
THUS--IT STANDS WITH ME
THAT I'VE THRUST MYSELF
INTO THIS MAZE,
CROWNS IN MY PURSE I HAVE,
GOODS AT HOME,
AND SO, AM COME
TO SEE THE WORLD!
DIDN'T THINK I COULD
PULL IT OFF, DID YOU?
ZOUNDS!
WHAT MOUNDS!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
COME HERE,
WENCH!
AAH! AAH!
YAAH!
OH!
HA HA HA!
RAWR!
ARGH!
ARGH!
YECCH!
HYAH!
HYAH!
Ninjas: YAH!
GADZOOKS!
IS THERE A FELLOW
IN ALL THE LAND
MORE HALE AND HEARTY
THAN THIS?
AND NOW, ON TO MATTERS
OF GREATER IMPORT,
AND TO THE REASON
FOR MY VISIT
TO THIS FAIR CITY.
TO WIT, A MAJOR
PLOT POINT COMETH.
I COME TO WIVE IT
WEALTHILY IN PADUA.
AND IF WEALTHILY,
THEN HAPPILY.
AND IF SHE HATH
NO DISEASES,
THEN HEALTHILY IN PADUA.
GOOD SIR!
STAY.
SUCH UNUSUAL FORTUNE
THAT WE MEET,
HERE AND NOW,
AND IN SUCH
SIMILAR STRAITS.
A MOMENT AGO,
WHAT WAS IT THOU SAYETH?
AND NOW,
ONTO MATTERS OF GREAT--
NO, NO, NO. 
AFTER THAT.
DIDST I HEAR,
"I COME TO WIVE IT
WEALTHILY IN PADUA?"
PRAY, SIR. YEA, SIR.
I DARE SAY I DID SAY.
YEA, SIR. YOU DO
SAY YOU DID SAY?
YEA, I SAY,
BUT WHY DO YOU BRAY?
DO NOT GAINSAY
WHAT I SAY
THAT WE MAY MAKE HEADWAY.
I FORAY THIS WAY
THAT I MAY BE HOME
E'ER MIDDAY.
HOORAY FOR THIS DAY,
AND THE WORDS
THAT YOU SAY, AND
FORGIVE MY DISPLAY,
BUT I HAVE
SOMETHING TO SAY.
THEN WITHOUT
FURTHER DELAY, I SAY
FIRE AWAY!
IF I WERE
TO TELL THEE
THAT THERE
LIVES, IN PADUA,
SUCH A WOMAN AS
SUITS YOUR NEEDS--
SHE BE
VERY WEALTHY
AND IN DIRE NEED
OF A SUITOR,
WOULDST
THOU BE INTERESTED?
WOULDST?
DOTH BEARS BEAR-ETH?
DOTH BEES BEE-ETH?
SAYETH WHAT?
HELL, YES!
THEN OFF TO A TAVERN.
I'VE A STORY FOR THEE.
FOR A TANKARD OF ALE,
I'LL LET YOU TELL THREE.
I LEFT MY WALLET
IN MY OTHER PANTALOONS,
YOU THINK YOU COULD
SPOT ME 5 BUCKS?
PRAY, SIR,
HAVE YOU
NOT A DAUGHTER
CALLED KATHERINA,
FAIR AND VIRTUOUS,
MODEST AND MILD?
I'VE A DAUGHTER
CALLED KATHERINA.
I AM A GENTLEMAN
OF VERONA, SIR,
AND I COME TO--
UPSTAIRS, FIRST DOOR
ON YOUR RIGHT.
OBVIOUSLY A QUICK
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
GOOD SIR?
BEFORE I WOO AND
MOST CERTAINLY WIN,
SHOULD WE NOT
A DOWRY DISCUSS?
A DOWRY DISCUSS WE SHOULD.
WERE YOU A MAN
WHO LIVETH
TO SEE TOMORROW.
A MAN WHO LIVETH
TO SEETH TOMORROW, AM I.
THOUGH SAYEST
IN MY TASK,
DOOMED BE ME.
HM?
HUH?
UH, SIGNOR BATISTA,
KNOW YOU NOT
WHO MY MASTER IS?
HIS NAME
BE PETRUCHIO,
WHO DID YESTERDAY
BEFORE THE WHOLE TOWN
DISPATCH, BY HIMSELF,
A PIG ON A STICK,
A KEG OF BEER,
TWO GENTLEMEN,
AND FOUR ORIENTAL
KUNG FU MASTERS.
THAT BE YOU?
WELL, I HATETH TO BRAG--
SON!
WELL...
FOR THE RIGHT PRICE.
YOUR OWN WINNEBAGO,
A CHANCE TO DIRECT,
A PIECE
OF THE SYNDICATION--
EH--WRONG SCROLL.
20,000 CROWNS?
[CRASH]
Katherina:
GOEST THOU TO HELL!
SOLD!
GODSPEED.
YOU'LL NEED IT.
PSST.
OH, HAPPY DAY.
I'M OFF TO WIN
THE FAIR BIANCA.
GO THEN, MY FRIEND.
TILL WE MEET AGAIN...
SOMEWHERE
IN THE FOURTH ACT.
SAY THAT SHE SHRIEK,
WHY, THEN I'LL
TELL HER PLAIN
SHE SINGS AS SWEETLY
AS A NIGHTINGALE.
SAY THAT SHE SNEER,
WHY, THEN I'LL SAY
SHE LOOKS AS CLEAR
AS MORNING ROSES
NEWLY WASHED WITH THE DEW.
AND FAILING THAT,
ALWAYS AM I THE MAN.
AND AS THE MAN,
AND A MAN'S MAN AT THAT,
MUST I MAN THE PROPER
PLACE OF A MAN--
OVER WOMAN, THAT IS.
FOR I AM WHAT I AM,
AND THAT'S ALL THAT I AM.
AND THE MAN
IS THE MAN
IS THE MAN...
IF YOU'RE A MAN,
YOU GOTTA LOVE
THE 16th CENTURY.
[CRASH]
MAY I COME IN?
YOU MAY, IF IT
MATTERS NOT TO YOU
WHAT COMETH
OF YOUR HEAD.
IT MATTERS NOT,
AS BEING HERE
PROVES I'VE
LOST IT ALREADY.
AND IT
MATTERS NOT AS WELL,
AS A MAN WITHOUT A HEAD 
IS MERELY REDUNDANT.
GOOD LADY,
ALLOW ME TO ENTER.
I MERELY COME
TO TUNE YOUR INSTRUMENT.
MY INSTRUMENT
IS ALREADY TUNED.
AS IS MINE,
AND READY TO PLAY.
THEN OFF WITH YOU
TO PLAY IT SOLO,
AS YOU WON'T
BE COMING IN!
HERE'S PETRUCHIO!
GOOD MORROW, KATE,
FOR THAT IS
YOUR NAME, I HEAR.
I AM CALLED KATHERINA
BY THOSE WHO DARE
TO SPEAK TO ME.
NAY, YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE KATE TO ME.
PLAIN KATE
AND BONNY KATE,
AND SOMETIMES
KATE THE CURSED,
BUT KATE,
THE PRETTIEST KATE,
MY SUPER-DAINTY KATE.
* KATE KATE BO-BATE *
* BANANA-FANA FO-FATE *
* FEE-FI MO-MATE *
* KATE *
WHAT PURPOSE
BRINGETH YOU?
WHO ARE YOU?
CERTAINLY NO SINGER,
NOR THE PIANO TUNER 
YOU CLAIMETH TO BE.
YOU SEE
THROUGH ME, KATE.
NO TUNER, I.
BUT I WISH IT WERE
AMONGST MY TALENTS
TO PLAY PIANO FOR YOU.
'TIS A SAD STATE INDEED.
YOU'RE
THE ONLY MAN I KNOW
WHO SUFFERETH
FROM PIANIST ENVY.
PERHAPS YOU'LL
LISTEN TO THIS!
GET OUT NOW,
WHILE YOU STILL
HAVE THAT WHICH
YOU HOLD DEAR.
HAVE YOU NOT GUESSED?
'TIS YOU I WISH
TO HOLD DEAR.
HEARING THY VIRTUE
SPOKE OF,
THY BEAUTY,
THY MILDNESS PRAISED,
MYSELF AM MOVED TO...
WOO THEE FOR MY WIFE.
YOUR WIFE?
THOU CATCHEST ON QUICKLY.
THEN LET ME ANSWERETH
QUICKLY AS WELL.
WHATEVER MOVED YOU THUS,
LET IT REMOVE YOU NOW.
OUT OF THIS ROOM,
LIKE SO MUCH
OVERSTUFFED FURNITURE!
AS 'TIS WIDELY SAID,
JUST AS WIDELY WRIT,
IF I BE FURNITURE,
THEN YOU'LL ALWAYS
HAVE A PLACE TO SIT.
LET GO! UNHAND ME!
I'LL TRY,
BUT I DON'T THINK
THEY'LL COME OFF.
YOUR STRUGGLE'S
IN VAIN, MY LADY,
AS MAN IS NOW
AND SHALL EVER BE
DOMINANT OVER WOMAN.
AND I, BEING A PRIME
SPECIMEN OF MANHOOD,
AM THEREFORE CLEARLY
DOMINANT OVER YOU.
GO SOAKETH
YOUR HEAD.
IT SWELLS
BEYOND MEASURE.
AYE. AND PROUDLY.
'TIS MY WILL
TO MARRY YOU,
MY LADY.
AND WHERE
THERE'S A WILL...
THERE'S A WON'T!
OOF!
I WARNED YOU, SIR.
AND NOW YOU'RE
IN FOR THE THRASHING
OF YOUR LIFE!
THIS IS GETTIN'
INTERESTING.
[CRASHING]
[CROWD MURMURING]
UGH!
TALLY HO!
YOU BUZZ AROUND
LIKE AN ANGRY BEE.
BETTER, AS I LOOK
AT YOU, A WASP.
IF I BE WASPISH,
BEST BEWARE MY STING.
MY AIM IS
TO PLUCK IT OUT.
AYE, IF THE FOOL
COULD FIND IT.
WHO KNOWS NOT WHERE
A WASP WEARS HER STING?
IN HER TAIL.
NOW!
AAH!
OW!
YOUR DAGGER.
GOOD LADY,
THOU ART MISTAKEN.
A GENTLEMAN NEVER
UNSHEATHES HIS DAGGER
BEFORE HE IS MARRIED.
FOOL.
KATE.
KNOW THEE NOW,
THOU MUST BE MARRIED
TO NO OTHER MAN BUT ME.
AAH!
Crowd: OOH!
Crowd: YEAH!
GIVE THEM
WHAT THEY WANT!
KISS ME KATE,
AND WE WILL
WED ON SUNDAY!
NO, WE WILL NOT!
NOT NOW!
NOT THIS SUNDAY!
NOT NEXT SUNDAY!
NOT ANY SUNDAY FROM NOW
UNTIL THE END OF TIME!
OH, HO HO HO!
GRR!
CONGRATULATIONS.
FINALLY,
FINALLY.
OK, CARLO.
YES. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
HELLO. HELLO, YEAH.
YES. WE DID IT.
WE DID IT.
IS MY SISTER HERE YET?
SHE WAITS
ANXIOUSLY INSIDE.
[GREENSLEEVES PLAYING]
[GRUNTING]
[BELL CLANGING]
SANCTUARY.
OH!
[CROWD CHEERING]
MMM!
MMM!
[SNORING]
1, 2, 3, UH.
HOW DARE HE?
WHAT CAUSETH A MAN
TO BE SO LATE
TO HIS OWN WEDDING?
MMM!
MMM!
[HORSE NEIGHS]
YAH.
PRAY!
WHAT TOOK THEE?
THE WEDDING
WAS TO START
THREE HOURS AGO!
THE LIGHTS
WERE AGAINST ME.
BUT WHERE BE THAT
BLUSHING BRIDE O' MINE?
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.
IT'S LOVE!
IT'S MAGIC! YES.
HOW NOW?
CAN IT BE?
IS THIS VISION
MINE EYES WITNESS
TRULY MY BELOVED?
MM-MMM!
HOW WELL SHE DOTH
LOOK IN BONDAGE.
MMM!
PARDON, SWEET?
WHAT WAS IT
THAT THOU SAYEST,
MY SWEET?
I'LL LET YOU
HANG IN HELL FIRST--
HA HA HA.
'TWAS BARGAINED TWIXT US
THAT SHE STILL
SEEM CURSED IN COMPANY,
BUT WHEN WE BE ALONE,
SHE BE A VERITABLE
PUSS IN MY LAP.
PADRE--
I CAN WAIT NO LONGER.
PETRUCHIO OF VERONA,
TAKETH YOU THIS
WOMAN, KATHERINA,
TO BE YOUR LAWFUL,
WEDDED WIFE?
FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE,
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
AND FORSAKING ALL OTHERS,
KEEPETH HER TILL
DEATH DOTH YOU PART?
I DOTH.
KATHERINA OF PADUA...
TAKETH YOU THIS MAN...
MM-MMM!
MM-MMM!
UH...ET CETERA, ET CETERA,
TILL DEATH DOTH YOU PART?
I DOTH.
MMM!
EH-HEH.
I NOW PRONOUNCETH YOU,
MAN AND WIFE.
YOU MAY NOW
KISS THE BRIDE.
NO!
[CROWD CHEERS]
A LITTLE
HONEYMOON MUSIC,
SATCHMO!
1, 2, 3!
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* I WAS FEELIN' *
* SO BAD *
* I ASKED MY FAMILY DOCTOR
JUST WHAT I HAD *
* I SAYS DOCTOR *
* DOCTOR *
* MISTER M.D. *
* DOCTOR *
* NOW CAN YOU TELL ME *
* WHAT'S AILIN' ME? *
* DOCTOR *
* HE SAY YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH *
* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH *
* YES, INDEED *
* ALL I,
I REALLY NEED *
* IS GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
[HARMONICA SOLO]
* HONEY, PLEASE *
* SQUEEZE ME TIGHT *
* SQUEEZE ME TIGHT *
* DON'T YOU WANT YOUR BABY
TO BE ALL RIGHT *
* BE ALL RIGHT *
* I SAID BABY *
* BABY *
* IT'S FOR SURE *
* IT'S FOR SURE *
* I GOT THE FEVER, YEAH *
* YOU GOT THE CURE *
* GOT THE CURE *
* EVERYBODY SAY YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH *
* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH *
* OH, ALL I NEED *
* ALL I, I REALLY NEED *
* IS GOOD LOVE *
* NOW GIMME
ALL THAT GOOD, GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* HEY, GIVE ME
THAT SWEET, SWEET LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GIMME THAT
BIG, BAD LOVIN' *
* GOOD LOVE *
[HARMONICA SOLO]
ONE MORE TIME!
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
YOU THINK
THAT WAS FUN,
WAIT TILL I
GET YOU HOME!
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE *
* GOOD LOVE **
TA-DA!
I WELCOME THEE
TO MY HUMBLE DIGS.
THIS BE THE CLEANING
WOMAN'S CENTURY OFF.
BUT SMALL MATTER
HOW A HOME LOOKETH
IF IT BE FILLED
WITH LOVE.
AND SPEAKING OF WHICH...
THE MASTER BEDROOM.
ROWR...
'TIS TRUE, OUR COURTSHIP
HATH BEEN A TAD BRIEF,
BUT NOW THAT WE
BE HUSBAND AND WIFE,
I SAYEST
WE WASTE NO TIME
IN GETTING USED TO ACTING
LIKE HUSBAND AND WIFE.
I AGREE WITH THEE.
THOU DOST?
I DOST. AND GET THEE
USED TO THIS.
I HAVEST A HEADACHE.
AND IF THAT BE
THE MASTER BEDROOM,
THEN I SHALL
SLEEP THERE.
IN THERE?
AU CONTRAIRE.
BE I NOT THE MAN,
AND YOU THE WOMAN?
BE THIS NOT THE TIME
THAT MEN ARE MEN
AND WOMEN
ARE PROPERTY?
PROPERTY,
YOU CALL ME.
BUT TRIEST TO PLOW
THIS ACRE,
AND THY BLADE
MAY GET BROKEN.
HA! I SHALL
BE THE MASTER
OF WHAT IS MINE OWN.
AND THOU
ART MY GOODS--
MY CHATTEL,
MY STUFF, MY HOUSE,
MY TOOTHBRUSH,
MY GOLF SHOES--
I'LL BE
NO MAN'S STUFF!
IN FACT,
STUFF YOUR STUFF,
FOR THIS IS ONE THING
YOU WILL NEVER OWN.
WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT
AND STARTING THIS DAY.
THEN ALREADY
THOU SEEST WRONG,
FOR 'TIS PLAIN
TO ANY FOOL
THAT IT BE NIGHT
AND NOT DAY.
DAY IT IS,
IF THY HUSBAND
SAYS IT BE SO.
PERHAPS TO A WIFE
BLINDED BY LOVE,
BUT MINE EYES SEE CLEAR.
LOVE OR NO, I BE
THY LIEGE AND THY LORD,
THAT BRINGETH HOME
THE BACON,
AND PROVIDETH THEE
WITH A ROOF OVER
THY THICK SKULL.
AND FOR THAT,
BY THE GODS,
IF I SAY THE MOON
BE THE SUN,
THEN TO YOU, GOOD WIFE,
IT SHALL BE SO!
GOOD WIFE I AM
IN NAME ONLY,
GOOD HUSBAND,
AND THUS
IT IS THE MOON,
AND 'TIS THE MOON
NO MATTER
WHAT THEE SAID.
'TIS THE SUN
OR NO SLEEP FOR THEE.
'TIS THE MOON
AND TO BED I'M AWAY.
THE SUN.
THE MOON.
THE SUN.
THE MOON!
MMM! BANG! ZOOM!
I HOPE THEY LIKE
THESE JOKES ON THE MOON, KATE,
'CAUSE THAT'S
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.
I WILL NOT STAND
FOR THIS.
YOU WILL NOT
 STAND FOR THIS?
I WILL BE THE KING
IN THIS, MY CASTLE.
KING, KING, KING.
SOME KING!
WITHOUT EVEN
A VASSAL TO COMMAND
IN THIS CASTLE.
WELL, 'TIS THE MOON
I CHOOSE TO SEE,
AND IN THERE
I CHOOSE TO SLEEP.
YOU WILL SLEEP,
IN THERE, WITHOUT ME,
UNTIL I SAY OTHERWISE.
UNDERSTANDETH?
UNDERSTANDETH?
FINE!
FINE!
METHINKS 'TWAS SOMETHING
FAMILIAR ABOUT THAT.
THIS TURN OF EVENTS
BE PASSING INTOLERABLE.
AM I NOT THE MASTER?
IS SHE NOT THE MISTRESS
IN THIS, HER MASTER'S HOUSE?
BY GOD, I MUST TEACH
THAT WENCH A LESSON,
OR THIS BE
A DARK DAY INDEED
FOR THY ENTIRE GENDER.
AND TEACH HER
A LESSON, I WILL.
AM I NOT MAN,
HEAR ME ROAR,
IN NUMBERS TOO BIG
TO IGNORE?
TAKE NO PRISONERS!
FAIR KATE...
DON'T MAKEST ME
DO THIS.
IF THY HUSBAND TELLS THEE
THE MOON IS THE SUN,
THEN TELL HIM
'TIS THE SUN.
'TIS THE MOON.
Narrator:
AND THUS IT WENT.
BUT AS A WILD HORSE
BE BROKEN
THROUGH MIX OF LOVE
AND PERSISTENCE,
SO A SHREW BE TAMED.
RATHER THAN BEAT HER
INTO SUBMISSION,
PETRUCHIO DID
DECIDE INSTEAD
TO KILL HER
WITH KINDNESS.
INITIAL EFFORTS
WERE MET WITH, WELL,
A SMALL BIT
OF RESISTANCE.
BUT, UNDAUNTED,
PETRUCHIO DID PERSIST.
AND PERSIST.
AND PERSIST.
[BANG]
AND FINALLY
DID PETRUCHIO SUCCEED.
SLOWLY WON OVER
BY HIS WAYS,
KATE BEGAN HER SHIFT
FROM HOUSE AFIRE
TO HOUSEWIFE.
AND TRUTH BE KNOWN,
SHE COULDN'T BE BLAMED,
FOR WHO COULD RESIST
A LOVING HUSBAND
SUCH AS PETRUCHIO
HAD BECOME?
THE MEAL WAS
TO YOUR LIKING?
[BELCHES]
AYE. AND THOU?
DIDST THOU ENJOY
THY LOW-CAL DIET GRUEL?
WELL, ONE DOES
WHAT ONE CAN TO KEEP
THY GIRLISH FIGURE.
AYE.
'TIS SAID ACROSS THE LAND,
BY MEN WORLDLY WISE,
WHAT VALUE BE A WOMAN
WITH CELLULITE
ON HER THIGHS?
WHILE MEN BE DISPLEASED
WITH FAT LEGS
AND FAT HIPS,
MOST OF THEM
WOULD LOOK BETTER
IF BE GIVEN FAT LIPS.
PARDON, DEAR WIFE?
I SAID,
HAVE ANOTHER SIP.
AYE.
HUSBAND?
DOST THY TRULY
BELIEVE THAT
A HAPPY MARRIAGE
LIES IN A WOMAN
WHO REMAINS PRETTY
AND IN HER PLACE?
IT'LL DO IN A PINCH.
THOU NEEDEST
NOT BE CONCERNED
AS THY ARE BOTH PRETTY
AND IN THY PLACE,
AS WE SPEAK.
'TIS YOUR NOTION
OF A COMPLIMENT,
I KNOW,
BUT HUSBAND...
DID YOU HEAR
THE NEWS TODAY?
40 TEENAGERS ARRESTED
AT THE BACH CONCERT.
HUSBAND!
THEY SAID IF THOU PLAYEST
THE SECOND CONCERTO BACKWARDS,
THOU HEAREST
THE VOICE OF SATAN.
[WHISTLES]
GOOD HUSBAND,
HOW ARE WE MARRIED?
HOW ARE WE MARRIED?
ARE WE MARRIED MERRILY?
YEA, VERILY. WE ARE
MARRIED MERRILY,
THOUGH, AT FIRST WARILY,
AND UNFORTUNATELY,
QUITE STERILEY.
NOTHING LIKE
A NIGHT AT HOME,
RHYMING WITH
THE OL' BALL AND CHAIN.
HUSBAND, I BELIEVE
IN OUR MARRIAGE AS WELL.
BUT KNOW THEE THIS,
YOU CAPTURED ME
NOT BY DRAGGING ME
TO THY HOUSE,
BUT BY TREATING ME
WITH KINDNESS
ONCE I WAS HERE.
I SAW THEE TRY,
AND THUS I TRIED ALSO.
I HAVE CHANGED
AS A RESULT
OF YOUR KINDNESS.
NOW, I WOULD ASK
THAT YOU CHANGE
AS A RESULT OF MINE.
CHANGE? BUT DIDST
NOT THOU SAYETH
THAT I DO ALL THE THINGS
FOR YOU A WIFE COULD WANT?
ALL, SAVE ONE.
ALL, SAVE RESPECTING ME.
RE--
RESPECTING THEE?
RESPECTING ME.
I ASK THAT YOU HOLD ME
IN HIGHER ESTEEM,
BOTH AS THY WIFE
AND AS THY PARTNER.
IN SHORT, I ASK
THAT YOU RETREATETH
FROM YOUR ROLE
AS CHAUVINIST.
AND FOR MY PART,
SHOULD THAT RESPECT 
BEGINNETH TONIGHT,
I SHALL SHARE
THE SAME ROOM
AS MY MATE.
[ROOSTER CROWING]
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
SLEEP WELL?
LIKE A BABE,
ONLY WAKING OCCASIONALLY
WANTING TO BE FED.
MYSELF, I LAY AWAKE 
ALL NIGHT HAPPILY
AND THINKING ALSO,
WONDERING,
PETRUCHIO, WHY ME?
WHAT MOVED THEE
TO WOO ME?
THY LIFE...
THY SPIRIT.
WE ARE KINDRED
SOULS, KATE,
AS MOUNTAINS TO WIND.
EACH OF US MOVES NOT,
THOUGH THE OTHER
BLOW PERPETUALLY.
MORE TO THE POINT,
I SAW ME IN THEE.
HUSBAND, FOR ALL
THY BOORISHNESS
AND BLUSTER,
THOU ART A GOOD MAN.
AND FOR ALL
THY SHRILLNESS
AND SHREWISHNESS,
THOU ART QUITE
A REMARKABLE WOMAN.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I SHALL DISPATCH THEM
WITH ALL DUE HASTE.
GOOD MORROW, PETRUCHIO,
I COME WITH NEWS FROM PADUA.
WELL, THEN SPIT
IT OUT POST HASTE,
I'M ABOUT
TO MAKE NEWS HERE.
ON SUNDAY NEXT,
BIANCA,
SISTER TO KATHERINA,
WILL MARRY LUCENTIO.
THEE AND THY WIFE
HATH, OF COURSE,
BEEN INVITED TO ATTEND.
GOOD TIDINGS, INDEED.
GO THEE AND ASSURE
THE BRIDE'S FATHER
THAT WE WILL JOURNEY
BACK HAPPILY.
TRUTH BE TOLD,
MOST ARE AWARE
THOU WIN THY MONEY
IF KATE BE NOT
ONLY STILL MARRIED,
BUT TAMED
BY BIANCA'S WEDDING DAY.
MORE WILL ATTEND
FOR THOSE RESULTS,
THAN FOR
THE WEDDING ITSELF.
FRET THEE NOT,
FOR ALL THINGS HERE
SEEM TO BE WELL
IN HAND.
Narrator: AND THUS,
A WEEK LATER,
THEIR WAY
TO BIANCA'S WEDDING
DID PETRUCHIO
AND KATHERINA MAKE.
FORSOOTH, HUSBAND.
WHY THINKEST
THEY STARE AT US SO?
THEY BE MERELY
UNACCUSTOMED
TO SEEING A COUPLE
SO HAPPILY MATED.
WE ARE HAPPILY MATED,
ARE WE NOT?
GOOD HUSBAND,
NEEDST THOU EVEN
ASK THAT QUESTION?
NAY, NAY.
BUT NOW THAT WE ARE
IN FRONT OF THE TOWN,
IF SOMEONE WERE TO ASK...
GLADLY WOULD I EXPRESS
MY FEELINGS TO ALL.
'TIS PLAIN
THE WHOLE TOWN
KNOWETH OF THE DEAL
'TWIXT PETRUCHIO
AND MYSELF.
AND HAVE COME TO SEE
IF HE'LL COLLECT HIS DUE.
AND IF THE WHOLE TOWN
KNOWETH, THEN 'TIS POSSIBLE
THAT KATE KNOWETH.
AND IF KATE KNOWETH,
AND KNOWETH THAT
THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWETH,
AND KNOWETH
THAT WE KNOWETH
THAT SHE KNOWETH,
KNOWST WHAT THAT MEANS?
NO-ETH.
EITHER SHE BE TAMED
BUT WILL STILL
LEARN OF THIS,
OR SHE BE NOT TAMED,
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER.
EITHER WAY...
'TIS NO PLACE FOR ME.
HAVEST A NICE HONEYMOON.
FATHER!
DAUGHTER?
HOW TRULY GOOD IT IS
TO SEE THEE, FATHER.
OOH!
OOH!
OOH!
HOW TRULY GOOD IT IS
TO SEE THEE, DAUGHTER.
OOH!
OOH!
OOH!
SO!
AWAY WITH US ALL--
WE'VE A WEDDING
TO ATTEND.
[MINSTRELS PLAY
 CLOSE TO YOU]
I LIKEST A BAND
THAT PLAYETH
THE OLDIES.
AND ONE THING MORE,
NEVER A BORROWER
NOR A LENDER BE,
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
THOU CAN COMPOUND
INTEREST ANNUALLY
AT 8%.
HA HA HA.
GREETINGS, GENTLEMEN.
MAY I SAYETH,
BROTHER LUCENTIO,
'TIS A PLEASURE
TO BE WELCOMED
UNTO SUCH A FAMILY
WITH OPEN ARMS,
OPEN HEART,
AND, OF COURSE,
OPEN PURSE STRINGS.
YES, WELL...
THOUGH THE CHANGE
IN KATE LOOKS TO BE 
A MIRACLE,
THE DAY
STILL BE YOUNG,
AND MY PURSE,
FOR NOW,
STILL BE CLOSED.
HAVETH THY WAY,
GOOD FATHER,
AS THE UNFOLDING
OF THE DAY
SHALL PROVETH
MY SUCCESS.
THY WILD KATE
HATH BEEN DECLAWED.
SO, LUCENTIO,
ART THOU READY TO RULE
THY ROOST TONIGHT?
WELL...
IF THOU BE WORRIED
ABOUT THY HONEYMOON NIGHT,
FEARETH NOT, FRIEND,
FOR THY MANLY INSTINCTS
SHALL KICK IN
WHEN NEED DOTH ARISE.
TO BE CERTAIN MAN
BE LORD OF HIS HOUSE,
AND BEING SUCH,
NEED ONLY COMMAND
THAT HIS NEEDS BE MET.
'TIS HER DUTY
TO PLEASE THEE.
TRULY? AND THAT BE HOW
IT WORKETH WITH THEE?
MY MAN, IF I'M LYING,
I'M DYING.
WHAT?
BE THOU CERTAIN?
INTERESTING NEWS,
INDEED, PETRUCHIO.
WORD HATH COME
THAT KATE MERELY
PRETENDETH
TO BE TAME.
THAT SHE BE TALKING 
OF EQUALITY,
OF THY MARRIAGE
BEING 50-50!
All: 50-50!?
WELL, THE WOMAN
BE QUITE A LITTLE KIDDER.
THOUGH I WISH ONLY
THE BEST FOR THEE,
THERE BE IN MY MIND 
A QUESTION NOW.
WHO HATH IN FACT
BEEN TAMED?
KATE,
OR THEE?
I ASSURE YOU, SIR,
'TIS SHE ALONE'S
BEEN TAMED.
THEN PERHAPS
THOU COULD PROVE IT
BY CALLING HER OUT,
FORTHWITH,
AND SHOWING US
THY MANLY COMMAND!
WELL...I-I...
DON'T WANT
TO INTERRUPT
THEIR GIRL TALK.
WE HAVETH
AN ARRANGEMENT.
IF SHE BE NOT TAMED,
'TIS MY RIGHT TO KNOW.
HE HAS A POINT THERE.
BRING HER TO US!
ENOUGH!
IF THOU NEEDETH PROOF
OF THE TAMING OF KATE,
THEN PROOF
IT SHALL BE!
FETCH ME MY WIFE!
STAY TUNED
AT THINE OWN RISK,
AS SUCH CONFRONTATIONS
BE THE STUFF
NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF.
YOU CALLETH, HUSBAND?
AYE,
AND WITH A PURPOSE.
'TIS A DUTY
THOU MUST PERFORM.
YOU HAVE BUT TO ASK,
DEAR HUSBAND,
AND I'LL DO MY BEST 
TO PLEASE THEE.
THAT THOU WILL.
FOR THY HUSBAND
IS THY LORD,
THY LIFE,
THY KEEPER.
AND AS THOU ART BOUND
TO SERVE AND OBEY,
THOU ART
BOUND TO AGREE
WHATEVER HE SAYETH
BE TRUE ABOVE ALL ELSE.
KATE!
I SAY 'TIS THE MOON
THAT SHINES SO BRIGHT.
AND AS MY WIFE,
WOULDST THOU NOT AGREE,
'TIS INDEED?
THAT'S IT.
SHE'S GOING TO BLOW.
HUSBAND...
I BELIEVEST
THOU ART MISTAKEN.
AND IF THOU TAKEST
ANOTHER LOOK,
I'M QUITE SURE
THY ERROR WILL BE CLEAR.
'TIS THE SUN,
AND NOT THE MOON,
THAT SHINES SO BRIGHT.
THE SUN, YOU SAY?
IF THAT BE
YOUR FINAL ANSWER,
I HAVE
BUT ONE CHOICE.
TO LOOK AGAIN.
WHY, AS I LIVE
AND BREATHE,
'TWAS INDEED
A MISTAKE.
MY WIFE
HATH CALLED IT.
'TIS THE SUN
AND NOT
THE MOON AT ALL.
[CROWD MURMURS]
I WAS WRONG...
AND HATH LEARNED IT 
FROM A WOMAN.
ONE WITH
MUCH TO TEACH.
THOU ART WITNESS
TO A REVELATION,
FOR MYSELF,
TOO LONG IN COMING,
AND IT CONCERNETH
THE BEAUTY
OF HOLDING
THY MATE AT THY SIDE
RATHER THAN
UNDER THY THUMB.
FOR THOSE WITH BODIES
SOFT AND TENDER
HATH SOFT AND TENDER
HEARTS, AS WELL.
AND ALL THEIR GIFTS
BE SO MUCH MORE,
WHEN ALLOWED
TO BE GIVEN FREELY.
IF THIS BE
OFFENSIVE TO MEN,
THEN SO BE IT.
FOR PERHAPS
THE TIME HAS COME
FOR OFFENSE.
I HATH STRUCK A DEAL
WITH THY FATHER,
THAT I MIGHT
RECEIVE THY DOWRY IF,
AND ONLY IF,
I TAME THEE.
I NOW RENOUNCE
THIS DEAL,
AND WISH FOR
NO OTHER REWARD
OTHER THAN
THY AFFECTION,
AND THY COMPANY
FOR AS LONG
AS THEE SHALL LIVE.
IF TRUTH BE TOLD,
A MISTAKE WAS MADE
BY ALL...
BY THE TOWN,
BY HER FAMILY...
AND BY ME.
FOR KATE NEVER
NEEDED TO BE TAMED.
SHE MERELY NEEDED
TO BE LOVED.
KISS ME, PETRUCHIO!
Narrator:
SO IT WAS,
WE ENDETH HERE,
THIS CHAPTER
OF PETRUCHIO AND KATE.
FROM HERE,
THEY LIVED LIFE,
LONG AND FULL.
THE WORLD
THEIR ONLY PARAMETER,
AND AS THEY WENT,
'TWAS WITH
A SINGLE COMPLAINT...
WE HATE IAMBIC PENTAMETER!
IS MOONLIGHTING
STILL ON?
NO. IT JUST ENDED.
AW...
AW, THAT'S OK.
IT WASN'T VERY GOOD
TONIGHT ANYWAY.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
* SOME WALK BY NIGHT *
* SOME FLY BY DAY *
* SOMETHING IS SWEETER *
* 'CAUSE WE MET
ON THE WAY *
* 'CAUSE WE MET
ON THE WAY *
