Hi there! Would you like to sign my petition?
HBOMBERGUY: [READING DESCRIPTION]
"Colleges and universities are literally teaching teenagers that every white person is a racist."
♪ ["THX Deep Note"]
♪♪
Are you *still* worried about video game feminism?
Has your endless yelling and screaming for years about a lady you don't like
yielded no positive changes and only made the climate more toxic?
Are you starting to feel the darkness closing in
as it turns out your ideas make no fucking difference, and the world isn't changing around you?
Well, maybe it's time to demand the academics you hate do it for you!
Sorry, not academics.
"UNIVERSITIES".
[CRACKING UP]
Dear universities, please stop the bad people for me. And you know they're bad, because I...
I paid someone else to draw a propagand—
sorry, a realistic and rational cartoon of a woman
telling institutions to stop the bad people for her.
And to stop whoever she is, we need you,
"UNIVERSITIES"!
[READING]
"We are calling for the teaching of social justice courses in universities to be temporarily suspended.
What follows is up for debate."
Oh, good. Once universities have magically stopped all the things he doesn't like, *then* we can have a discussion!
Not now; that would require too much effort.
Read the letter? Ooh, don't mind if I do.
[LAUGHING]
[CHORTLING]
He couldn't even be bothered!
There isn't even a list of which courses should be dropped, it's literally just asking "UNIVERSITIES" to please cancel social jus...!
We need to stop these feminazi armchair slacktivists...
with a petition!
[DEADPAN]
Oh, wait.
Okay, so Carl's reasoning might be poor, but luckily he recommends you read the comments on the petition,
- and I'm sure that's a really convincing and great ide— wait, where's that music coming from?
- [VERDI'S "DIES IRAE" STARTS PLAYING]
Oh, no! OH, NOOOO—
[READING DUMB COMMENTS]
"I sign because I really think Social Justice is killing the free speach [sic] and he free thought [sic]..."
"This is getting out of control.
At what point do you step in? When someone is finally injured?"
"Finally" in— holy shit.
"...expanding a dangerous wave of thought that spreads more racism and sexism
than the one it wants to stop..."
"Swidge (SWJ) and regressives need to stop."
"...destructing the civilizated world [sic] as we know it to build a new orwelian distopia [sic] for th free speach [sic] and the free thought..."
"What is happening in universities is despicable:
people running to safe spaces when they hear different opinions,
believing that the world and everyone in it is out to get them,
preventing anyone with conflicting ideas from organizing events—
the list goes on and on."
"I believe the right to free speech matters more to the world than the feelings of so-called 'oppressed groups'."
Ooh. What an edgester in Australia, there.
"I'm tired of being ordered to flagellate myself on the
al-tear"!
"I believe in free speech."
[AIRHORN]
"Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated his dream of a world where his children would be judged
not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
Clearly, we've gone from one extreme end to the other, and King is rolling in his grave."
"It's cult behavior teaching original sin on a completely ignorant and new racist way.
Teaching students to be racist to oppose racism is the very sort of backwards logic that has no place in university."
Holy shit, Danelle Dutcher, what?!
"Sock justice is going to far."
"I am signing because I am tired of
herring [sic] these stories
about SJW [sic] getting on their high horse
and doing horrendous things to everyday people,
because they like to generalize and put people into groups"!
[LAUGHING]
Holy shit!
"Social justice is becoming face-ism, and it needs to stop."
"I want to get this removed to help everyone I have meet in college"!
"Biology is sexist, #EndSexualDimorphism.
That's just what little information these social justice teachers have pushed onto our impressionable youth..."
Snoop Dogg says, "I am signing this because social justice is something that needs to be stopped.
If we do not nip social justice in the bud, the USA is screwed."
Oh, no. Oh my God, there's a lot of this... holy shit, it just keeps going.
"I'm a moderate fucking person! I've never raped!"
"It's gone too far!"
"I'm signing because I enrolled in a sociology class,
but found myself in a leftist indoctrination ritual"???
"I care about the future!"
[AIRHORNS]
Wait. Half of these comments are complaining about how upset they are at being called racist...
[READING DUMB COMMENT]
"These university courses are doing nothing but coddling these students
into thinking that literally everyone and everything is racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and problematic!"
...and the other half are saying that feminists are the real racists, because they're anti-white.
[READING DUMB COMMENTS]
"We were force-fed a basket of racist, sexist, and discriminatory ideas. We were told that whiteness is evil.
We were told that men are scum."
"These people are evil, misleading, and manipulating racists and sexist [sic] who need to be stopped from indoctrinating other people who are helpless."
Hey, guys?
I know you're really mad about what you imagine feminists are like, and you want to do something about that,
but maybe first, you should get together and figure out if racism is wrong,
or who the real racists are?
I get kind of mixed messages when one comment says "they call you a racist to try to shut down your ideas",
and the next says "we need to shut down these racists!"
Now, I know what you're thinking—
BECAUSE I CAN READ YOUR MIND—
Isn't petulantly demanding institutions stop teaching things you don't like literally the sort of thing
Probably Sargon and his fellow Probably Free Thinkers like to pretend they're against,
as evidenced by this very image?
Actually, you're wrong. The only way to be anti-censorship is to censor people I say are pro-censorship.
And you can believe me, because I have the support of the people.
Oh, no, sorry, these are the fucking EDL— the actual fucking EDL. Sorry.
I don't know how this footage got in the edit, how do I stop th—
And Carl's totally trustworthy.
After all, people gave him over £8,000 to make a video game, and that's going swimmingl—
Oh, it was cancelled. Sorry, forget that part.
What a surprise!
One of the de facto leaders of a group that claimed they were about ethics in game journalism took money to not make a game.
Sorry, guys. It became too lucrative to be a preacher of reactionary ideology, so I can't be bothered to keep my promises.
CARL: "It's taken three months to get to the current build that you can see in the videos,
and we think that Necromancer will be completed by summer 2014."
[SAD AIRHORNS]
But trying to force institutions to revolve around him instead of going where the evidence leads isn't a new idea;
not just to Joseph McCarthy, but to Carl himself.
CARL IN 2014 VIDEO: "I think we should start a petition, say:
Fen-minism must be classified as a mental illness,
because it exhibits all the symptoms!"
If enough people sign my petition, maybe psychology as an institution will start to fit my opinion!
Like science is supposed to.
This idea that petitions will somehow save the day has been on Carl's mind for a long time, it seems.
This really is the best he can do, isn't it? Aw...
Oh, I'm sad now.
But maybe trying to make institutions see things his way by petitioning them doesn't work, and is actually the opposite of rational?
I dunno, maybe.
Even Carl's subscribers agree with me here; less than a quarter of them even bothered to sign the petition.
Maybe his subscribers are just too lazy to be armchair activists.
What a rational, productive audience he's cultivated.
The West will be saved from feminism in no time!
They're indoctrinating your children!
THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE YOUR CHILDREN!
If I write as provocatively as possible, it becomes a problem worth dealing with, right?
I really missed this popular scare tactic, from when I used to watch 40's propaganda films for fun. Thanks for bringing it back, reactionaries.
When fake gay leftist "beh-tas" aren't sledge-hammering the family,
they're busy corrupting your children!
Using... critical theory?
I'll indoctrinate Kevin all I want, Carl. He deserves it.
I have to scrub his mind clean.
And also, this stock photo was pretty expensive,
and I'm gonna get my fucking money's worth.
This ridiculous language cements the rationals right where they belong: next to other crazies.
Look up "indoctrinating your children" on YouTube. You get Sargon's video,
and then a bunch of weird Alex Jones nonsense,
chemtrail bullshit, and classic 60's Red Scare campaign ads.
[CHILDREN RECITING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE]
[NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV SPEAKING]
[READING DUMB COMMENT]
"If we allow this sort of backwards think to continue,
it will eventually result in the decline of this Western country into Marxism!"
"MARXISM!"
”ＭＡＲＸＩＳＭ！”
YouTube's algorithms remember what videos people who watch chemtrail videos also watch.
It understands that if you're dumb enough to like these, maybe give this guy a try.
His petition will save the world any day now!
It's only been three months!
The revolution is coming!
Eventually, almost a third of his subscribers will have bothered to sign it!
Close enough.
But why does Carl feel so sure he knows what the problem is, anyway?
There's this thing in psychology— an institution Carl has yet to insist is completely taken over by SJWs and corrupting your children—
called the Dunning-Kruger effect.
It's touted quite often, so you've probably heard of it already,
but it refers to a study that measured people's perceived skills and abilities versus their actual skills and abilities.
People who think they already know something in detail aren't usually looking for more evidence.
Why would you, if you think you have all the answers and are actively presenting solutions?
Solutions which amount to nothing, but still.
It's completely unsurprising that the comments on the petition appear completely uneducated as to what's actually happening on any of these courses,
or why Carl rarely actively talks about the sort of academic feminism he's supposedly trying to stop corrupting our children,
Red Scare, Red Scare.
Because that would take a level of effort he's unwilling to invest, since he already thinks he knows what it's all about.
To paraphrase the Dao/Tao De/Te Jing/Ching
(道德經}:
He doesn't seem to even try to debate academic feminists anymore, because when he tried, they completely trounced him.
"I want to know why Barack Obama is giving the 1 in 5 college rape myth."
- "Explain that."
- KRISTI WINTERS: "You'll have to ask Barack Obama."
"I'm asking you directly why the president of the United State [sic]
is perpetuating a false feminist myth, that the—"
WINTERS: "And I said, you'll have to ask the president, because I am not Barack Obama."
- MODERATOR: "Excuse me, excuse me."
- "And I'm not the one putting out that information."
"I can't answer what's happening in Barack Obama's head.
I don't think that it's appropriate or fair
for you to make me, or any one individual, answer for anyone's views except their own.
You asked, 'why is he doing it,' and you asked, 'why do these things happen?'
And I want to know how you think I can know that."
No, you see, feminism is bad because a politician's speech used a provocative falsehood,
something that's NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
I highly recommend you watch this whole debate. Kristi Winters, PhD—
but it's a PhD in a social science, so she's basically not real—
talks openly about real problems that exist in America right now and could & should be dealt with.
"You go out with some friends for drinks.
In the morning, you wake up with a foul taste in your mouth,
and also realize that you have dried semen on your lips and face.
When you tell this to your friend, he informs you
that after you passed out last night,
he put his penis in your mouth and used it to get off.
You were orally penetrated while unconscious and unable to give consent.
You've just been the victim of a crime, right?
Well, not in Oklahoma."
Carl talks about how upset he is that some people with dyed hair say the wrong thing on YouTube.
"...make the ridiculous claim that they are being oppressed because sometimes they have to do something..."
"...whining, entitled, lazy..."
"...wearing makeup and smiling at the camera..."
"...con their way into careers for which they are underqualified..."
"...man hatred..."
"...and I can nag my way into positions of power..."
"...making media from the comfort of their warm, dry, plush rooms..."
"...#GiveYourMoneyToWomen..."
Out-of-date oral penetration laws in Oklahoma are just hilarious, silly things!
Now let's get serious for a second and talk about the women who were... mean on YouTube...
In an actual debate with a real person,
he still can't escape from talking about the mysterious straw-woman version of feminism
who say the wrong things on the internet and need to be stopped before they stop his free speech somehow.
"Feminism is Orwell's nightmare come to life, with a bright smile, rainbow hair, and a jingle in the background,
by people so pathologically entitled they campaign against other people's human rights."
♪ ["THX Deep Note"]
"If you've noticed, in his last two rebuttals, he stopped actually listing any real sources.
And that's because he's using buzzwords,
and contempt, and non-evidence based grounded arguments."
He starts answering questions with only the purest of rational discourse.
"So if you're just looking at data, and you're describing it,
yeah, that's one thing you can do.
But if you want to analyze it and understand it, theoretically, you need a theoretical framework. You want a scientific approach.
And you're going to need theory, and the theory you're going to use is feminism."
CARL OF SWINDON: "No, the theory you're going to use is feminism."
WINTERS: "Exactly. Like what? You don't have a response."
I wonder why people who know anything about the facts have trouble taking this guy's ideas seriously.
Hmm, I wonder.
Maybe it's because we're the real racists? I dunno.
In a video reflecting on the debate,
he has a rather apologetic tone.
"But, yeah, no, they're right. And there... you know, some people have pointed out that it really wasn't, like, the best showing that I could've done at all,
and I should've kept my cool a bit more. And you're right, I should have done."
Wait, is that just a printout of the Twitter logo?
What the f... I don't understa—
It seems he knows he kind of messed it up. His solution?
"Um, I shouldn't have...
I shouldn't have gotten angry about it.
I could probably have handled the debate a bit better as well, just the actual debate of it.
I, I... I was a bit nervous about it. I'm not gonna lie, it's the first time I've ever done anything like this.
And I think I may have overprepared somewhat."
Yeah. Yeah, that's the problem here. It has nothing to do with
THIS.
"I mean, it's nice to have lots of support, but it's even nicer when you've got the people who are actually leaving thoughtful and, um...
like, incisive comments that are a critique of what you've done— an honest critique."
[MOCKINGLY READING COMMENT]
"Oh fucking hell, can you not summarize this in under five minutes?"
- ♪ ["Advent: One-Winged Angel"]
"Even if they feel like the voice in the wilderness, please don't stop doing that, guys, because it's more valuable than I can adequately explain, I think."
[MOCKINGLY READING COMMENT]
"I don't have the patience to sit through over half an hour of this!"
- ♪ ["Advent: One-Winged Angel"]
Carl Benjamin— the guy who can't watch more than five minutes of a video,
can't watch more than five minutes of the video making fun of that fact,
can't read more than the first page of a study,
and most likely hasn't read more than a sliver of the books he's trying to get dropped from being taught in academia—
has given it some thought, and he feels like he does too much research!
Carl doesn't know, he doesn't care, and he wants to know and care less.
But he's sure he knows the solution to the problem he purposefully goes out of his way to avoid understanding.
Sign the petition today! And be quick, because if the feminazis criticize me one more time,
even though I'm not actually being stopped from doing anything when they criticize me,
I'm gonna have a panic attack! I just couldn't handle that!
Wait a second, why is minor criticism so scary to you?
No... No...
[GARGLING NOISES]
NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo...
♪♪
You know what? It's been a while since I've thanked everyone in one video, so let's do it!
Special thanks to:
[READS NAMES]
...And Jeffrey Theobald— my two favorite Jeffreys!
[READS IN HIGH VOICE]
Oh God, I've forgotten how to pronounce that one. Oh n—
Jeh knee ahn gell?
If I've somehow managed to miss out your name,
please let me know, and I'll go to the gulag for ten years.
See you around. Until next time, look out for swidge (SWJ).
[CHUCKLING]
