Hello my name is Ysis Lorenna, welcome
back to mindful motherhood Monday this
is a place for all parents to stop
reflect and discuss about parenting and
to think about our own parenting
experiences and share with other parents
who are also interested in this dialogue
and in this video I want to talk about
self care for mums and dads as well I'm
going to share five tips to get started
with self care if you find it daunting
if you don't know where to start if in
your mind self-care looks like a very
unachievable thing I hope you take
something positive out of this video
something that will encourage you to
take action towards your own self-care
please give this video a like and share
it with a friend who you think might
need a little bit of self-care in their
lives and don't forget to subscribe to
my channel I post mind for motherhood
videos every Monday and I also post on
Fridays as well so now let's get
straight into the video
so we all know that being the best mom
that we can be requires us to be the
best version of ourselves and in order
to do that we need to make intentional
choices and sometimes changes in our
lives to look after ourselves
unfortunately we can't do what our
children do and just snap our fingers -
out orders and be taken care of so we
have to take action and you have to put
yourself on that to-do list and
preferably on top of that to-do list I
find that there are usually two
categories that we fit in as mums when
it comes to self-care either the mums
were desperate for some self-care but
just have no child care or no time or
the ones who feel really guilty if they
take any time for themselves to look
after themselves and for self-care and I
find myself fitting into both of these
categories multiple times depending on
what's happening in my life so it's not
exclusive you're either one or the other
but I do find that these are the most
common barriers for self-care but
whatever type of mum you are or whatever
your situation the truth is without
self-care we can easily burn out and
find even the smallest day-to-day
activities a chore or even feel
resentment towards our children our
partner our friends who have time for
self-care and so from my personal
experience when I dedicate time for
myself I feel like I have a lot more
clarity I have more patience I have more
time for my children and I feel like a
better person in a better mom to my
children and that's why I decided to
make a priority for self-care in my life
when I could see the benefits of it not
just for myself but for my children as
well when I take just a few minutes for
myself every day I feel like my head is
so much clearer and I deal with the
challenges that we face on our normal
day to day lives with a lot more
patience and presence of mind so now I'm
going to share five tips for you to get
started with self-care
and hopefully take all those barriers
down
stop putting difficulties for self-care
and start making an effort towards using
self-care to feel better and to be a
better parent and this video is going to
be in two parts the second part of this
video will be next week's or next Monday
and that all contains some practical
self-care tips for busy moms mums who
don't have childcare and so if you're in
a situation now where you're desperate
for some self-care but you just don't
have the time or the space or the
anything next week's video will have a
few practical tips of what you can
actually do to have self-care when you
don't have time and you don't have
childcare but in this video I'm gonna
share my five most important tips to get
started to get your mind in the right
place for self-care so the first tip I
have in the most important tip is to
turn self-care into a habit it's
something that needs to be in the diary
like the kids swimming lessons ballet
lessons any after-school clubs parents
evening self-care needs to become a
habit and it needs to be something that
everyone in the family knows it's
happening for you it's your activity
everyone have their activities you have
to have yours as well and once your
family knows that it's happening they
will stick to it because they will know
to expect it and it will no longer feel
like a treat it will be your activity it
will be the thing that you do and
everybody respects it and then it
becomes normal so that is my first tip
make it a habit and make sure that
everyone in the family knows about it my
second tip is a way to make you stick to
your self-care plans and that is to make
plans with other people because you're
much less likely to give up on an
appointment if you know you're going to
disappoint a friend so when I am feeling
like I want to go for a run but I might
give up later on in a day
on how tired I am I usually message my
friends straight away and if she says
that she's come in that way I know I'm
committed to go for a run with my friend
and I will not cancel unless there's an
actual situation or something that I
cannot make it anymore but making plans
with friends is a great way to help you
stick to your self-care activities and
if you're just getting started with
self-care that will be the first
stumbling block that you hit will be to
stick to it you'll find that you do the
first and second time okay fine but then
things will get in the way life will get
in the way and all of a sudden you're
back to where you were before where you
just don't take any time for yourself
so maybe find a friend who's in a
similar situation to yours struggling to
find time for themselves and commit to
using that time to make each other stick
to your own self-care my third tip is to
stop apologizing to your kids for taking
time for yourself and this is something
that I have to practice more often
because when I was thinking about the
topic for this video I realized how
often I apologize to my kids for going
to the gym going for a run for going out
to get my hair done on my nails done so
it's time to stop apologizing for making
yourself a priority think about the
lessons that you could be teaching your
children here you're teaching them that
it's important to look after themselves
that friendships matter that having
interests matters that hobbies matter
that feeling good about yourself matter
there exercising matters so instead of
saying something like sorry mommy has to
go to the gym you can say do you know
what I'm going to do now I'm going to
have loads of fun exercising in the gym
and that way you teaching your children
that having fun is important and that
looking after yourself and your body in
your mind is important our children are
never too young to learn about self-care
and they learn a lot from what we do and
what we say so it's really important
that you make sure that your narrative
lines up with what you're trying to
teach them my fourth tip is don't let it
feel daunting self-care is anything that
makes you happy fulfilled relaxed it
doesn't have to be a spa day it doesn't
have to be a weekend away without the
children it doesn't have to be a whole
day spent in the salon getting your hair
and your nails and your pedicure and
facial it can be anything that makes you
happy so if you don't let it don't new I
bet that you can find lots more
opportunities in your day for self-care
and my last tip is to ask and offer and
I think this tip applies mostly if you
have a husband a partner a wife a
boyfriend but it can also be between two
friends who are in desperate need of
self-care you can commit to asking and
offering help to each other it's so
important to recognize that your partner
also needs self-care and if you ask your
partner to look after the children so
you can go and have some time for
yourself
make sure that you return the favor by
offering to look after the children so
that they can have some time for
themselves as well that way you're both
recognizing that you're equal parents
and you both need time to recharge and
to feel refreshed so these are my five
self-care tips to start your journey to
looking after yourself more taking some
regular dedicated time for yourself and
a feeling like you're on top of things
not feeling so overwhelmed feeling more
patients more present in the moment
because you've had a minute or a moment
or an hour for yourself I hope this was
helpful don't forget to tune in next
week to see my practical self-care ideas
for busy parents and parents who don't
have any child care please give this
video a thumbs up if you enjoyed it
leave a comment below letting me know
how you're feeling about self-care at
the moment do you find that you have in
of it all do you feel like you need to
start looking after yourself more don't
forget to subscribe if you're new to my
channel and I will see you very soon bye
