turned up over what to say tonight
because in the one hand what I would
have loved to have done is to stand up
here and tell you all the stories about
the years when I was doctor Torrance his
assistant they officially was an
assistant for four years on and off to
live with the Torrance's have all kinds
of stuff I could dish about in home and
all the lots of life and and then
subsequently thought about myself as his
research assistant actually until the
day he died so you know there are all
kinds of things and I thought I could
talk about but I realized that the best
thing I really could do is to talk about
the work that he inspired me to do
because that's really what dr. Torrance
was all about was inspiring his students
to do work and the inspiration started
in the most horrible conversation I
think I've ever had with any human being
when I first got down here to Georgia in
1975 I was all excited about becoming
doctor Torrance was a research assistant
and you know I was ready to go on the
research and after about three weeks of
being with him he looked at me and said
you know you're not a researcher it was
like I packed up my light and moved to
Georgia I never heard of Georgia in my
life but I came here in Georgia and I
said what do you mean he said you're
about the stories I said oh but dr.
Torres I want to have influence in the
world of gifted education I really want
to make a contribution he said you're
all about the stories that's gonna be
your contribution and at the time I
thought you really stories what's the
deal but 40 years later basically I'm
still all about the stories it was one
of dr. Torrance's big contributions to
my life is to say you be who you are
girl and and I have so for the past 40
years which I still can't believe I've
just been doing one study just one study
which is getting stories of gifted
people and learning about what happens
to them over time it's always been a big
fascination of mine if you ever want to
be really really nice to me you sit me
down
in a room full of books like where are
they now that was always my fascination
even my mother's told me that when I was
a little girl that's the kind of stuff I
always used to like to study me this was
predicted long long before I ever got my
first longitudinal study going but you
know the where are they now is what's
driven me for all these years has driven
me through education has driven me
through psychology and it's still you
know I wish I could take every one of
you out tonight and listen to your story
about how you got from there to here
that's my whole fascination and I was
very fortunate in that dr. Torres
bless his heart as we said in the South
really took a stand against everybody
else who was in the doctoral faculty in
those years because people wanted me to
do a very standard type of dissertation
where you test kids on something you do
a treatment and then you post-test them
the same thing and he really took a
stand with all the professors saying let
her do this which has basically gets
stories and it's true I've been getting
these stories for 40 years it's the
stories about this group that in the
1960s were the kids who had the highest
achievement honor that the highest honor
you could possibly get as an adolescent
in America there's the Presidential
Scholars program I don't know how many
of you are familiar so let me just get a
sense that how many of you don't know
about the Presidential Scholars program
so there's some of you who don't the
Presidential Scholars program was
started by President Kennedy person
Johnson so it's president with a capital
P I mean their Presidential Scholars at
almost every University in the country
but these are the Presidential Scholars
was started by Johnson basically in the
aftermath of the Kennedy assassination
kind of to you know get the country back
to normal and to give give hope for the
future so he and his very prestigious
committee contracted with the National
Merit testing Corporation remember the
national merit tests probably some of
you those of you who are not American by
birth probably don't know
that much about the National Merit test
but anyway so there are these these
tests that you took their achievement
tests and these are kids who just knock
knocked it out of the ballpark and that
was the original way you've got to
become a presidential scholar was that
you had these astronomical test scores
on the on these tests and then there was
this committee that kind of was it's a
very prestigious committee wasn't kind
of very prestigious committee appointed
by the President and so in those years
was people like Leonard Bernstein
Katherine Anne Porter things writer when
the early astronauts was a very glitzy
group of people basically holed up in
the White House and study these dossiers
of these kids that included test scores
that included nominations basically what
we would call and gifted education
nominations they were teacher
recommendations all of which was going
on behind the kids back they had no idea
that they were being considered to be
Presidential Scholars it took into
consideration of community activities
there's hobby use and all kinds of stuff
that you would look at to see you know
who are the the best in the brightest in
America and with this grueling procedure
about three weeks of this constant you
know reading reading all the stuff by
these kids ultimately one boy and one
girl from every state were chosen to
represent the best and the brightest
that America had to offer so 121 kids it
was two from every state one boy and one
girl and then 15 what they called
scholars at large which took into
consideration what we now would know is
no kids living in poverty who would
necessarily you know have all the
community stuff it took a consideration
weird situations you know like kids who
lived you know with their the bedroom of
their house in in Georgia and
you know the bathroom in South Carolina
or something you know just and kids
living abroad so these were the
scholarship large 121 kiss every year
were sent to Washington to go to this
amazing three-day event where they were
tattered around they got to meet their
senators or Congress people congressmen
at the time you know there were photo
ops and then at the very end of this
three-day you know
lit sea thing they gathered in the Rose
Garden in the White House given a medal
and told my the president that you're
gonna go home back to your you know your
home state and you know lead America
into the next century now have I
mentioned that these kids were sixteen
seventeen years old
number one number two they had no idea
they were being considered for this
program so for some of the kids this was
indeed the highlight of their life it
was the best thing ever but for some of
the kids it prompted this long long
history of wondering what I do to
deserve that
and it was it's something that we now
know to be called the imposter phenomena
where they're thinking someday someone's
gonna find out what it was very
interesting a year ago year and a half
ago John Knox who's sitting here who was
a Presidential Scholar alas not in my
database but was himself a Presidential
Scholar organized this amazing reunion
of 50 years of Presidential Scholars and
I had the absolute honour of being their
keynote or it was just he imagined those
of you who have done beaten meeting my
subjects for the first time in 40 years
you know it was just like Oh get on my
Facebook page it was just the best thing
that's ever happened I mean I just get
choked up but I even think about it to
meet these people whose lives have been
wrapped around mine for 40 years was
just incredible but what was amazing to
me at the time was how many of them
still because now myself
between 68 and 72 years old who are
still wondering what how did I get here
it was amazing that was the one question
they all came up to me is like tell me
tell me I really deserve this award so
it was quite an honor for me to actually
be able to tell them you know what you
just earned this award so it was it was
an extremely moving experience but it
also kind of validated that which has
driven my work for 50 years which and
not only driven it but it I have to say
it was surprising to me I'd always known
this was a problem for some kids but to
see it in a 68 to 72 year old still
struggling with what does it mean to be
gifted was really quite something and
that was part of why I was so interested
in doing the follow-up study of what
happens to gifted kids over time because
you know from having dealt with gifted
kids creative kids whether in your
classroom or in your household or in
yourself that it's not necessarily what
it seems to be you know American culture
it has really glorified gifted kids and
you sort of see these eight-by-ten
glossies right you know how gifted kids
have these great lives how you know they
just come from wonderful households that
you know to be gifted it's it's the best
thing you can possibly be and while it's
really good there are also some shadows
that go along with being gifted not with
all kids but we tend to overlook that
and that's really been the fascinating
thing to me over time is to look and see
how this unfolds have both the
giftedness and then some of the
questions that go along with being
gifted and how some of the problems that
get to head kids have and then so
neglected and so ignored but are still
so real and how they develop over the
life of course so that was my main
reason of doing the study I had first of
all wanted to update information about
what happens to give to kids the last
time a major longitudinal study was done
of gifted
was famous Turman study would start in
the 1920s where you adhere things like
60% you know of all gifted females
become homemakers so I knew in the 70s
and subsequently that things have
changed just a little bit so I wanted to
update information but mainly when I
wanted to do with the study was to tell
the truth about what it's like to be
gifted to shine lights on what really
happens internally with gifted
individuals and to see again what that
looks like over time and the other
reason I wanted to do the study is I
just love the stories so I have spent
the past 40 years doing a study kind of
a normal study and you have on the table
a summary of the latest of the it's a
really boring study I got to tell you
about don't even bother I mean here's
the thing the group statistics are like
you just it's a big snooze there's no
big the only significant difference
between males and females as - as time
goes on is in their income I mean call
the banner Herald right you know male
Presidential Scholars earned more than
female presidents of dollars over life
course no matter what the occupational
level but mostly it's there's there was
nothing that came out of the group data
that was that exciting but then there
were the stories so I spent all this
time you know interviewing people like
in cafes I interviewed one guy on the
top of his power in the middle of the
desert there were you know I've been in
people's homes I've been at the beach I
mean it's it's been this amazing thing
and I thought what I would do is to
basically bring this collection to you
and I want you to at least see a little
bit of what I've seen over the past 40
years and to do so in honor of dr.
Torrance who's thought all coming I mean
no one could have predicted in those
days that just police or a storyteller
would have brought a career that was
just so I don't know I don't even know
how to describe it it was just so rich
getting to meet these individuals and I
hope that you know as I read you some of
these just basically direct quotes I
want you to meet I want you meet my home
people here just what I want you to do
you know I understand that some of the
quotes I'm gonna read to you are not
representative of the Presidential
Scholars in other words I would hate for
you to walk away thinking that oh you
know Felice Kaufman says such and such
about Presidential Scholars what I
wanted to do is give you individual
stories and the reason for that is you
know from my perspective if one story of
one presidential scholar helps you
rethink one kid you know for me that's
gonna be enough you know if it needs to
do any insight and to make you think oh
my gosh I wonder if that's true of
such-and-such a kid you know it's a good
I'll be thrilled for that so I'm going
to talk about reminding what time I'm
supposed to close down by the way where
are you what time on this other thing
it's seven o'clock okay I think we can
do it I think we can do it Lana do you
have any quick questions about the the
group the study overall it's a very
straightforward kind of thing interviews
questionnaires etc yes
only in the income only and make them
yeah I mean otherwise statistically I
need the stories we're definitely
different I'll tell you about these now
but in terms of statistics just the only
thing really was different was their
income oh good point
oh because he's too young he's too young
thank you it was the first five years of
program thank you for bringing that up I
thought because to me the the people who
live the most live I mean the great
thing about this group now is they're
looking as the title my talk to us in
the rearview mirror so they were the
ones who were the furthest out great
question
and that the ones ultimately I should
say because I know some of you are
numerically oriented oh my gosh can we
still be friends so for those of you who
are interested in the original the
universe there were six hundred for
Presidential Scholars in the first five
years program when I went and when I
moved from my apartment at the Lyons
apartments y'all know the Lions still
here I couldn't believe driving by there
the other day you know I move there to
Washington what I thought was going to
be a weekend because wouldn't you assume
that for a high class program like this
that the United States government would
save all the drug the addresses and the
phone numbers of these people they're
the future of the country right well I
got up to Washington for what I thought
was would be long weekend only to find
they didn't know where the files were so
I ended up actually spending a year and
a half every and this is before the
internet this is this is my greatest
achievement I have to say if anyone ever
says you know well what do you consider
your greatest achievement here it is so
I got up there I wasn't planning on
talking about this by the way I love
bragging but I love this thing so I got
up there and they didn't know where the
files were exhale a list of names so
they did have a watch line which in
those days was a free free phone so I
spent a year and a half doing mostly
legal things I suppose when we found out
some of the things I did were not legal
but but actually dr. Torres used to say
you know use your personality police so
oh so I did
I don't know exactly what the definition
of sociopath is but I have a feeling I
showed some tendencies when I got things
not exactly right but anyway so I would
call around I have all these ingenious
really and you want to find your old
boyfriend from high school and you can't
on the Internet I can find them for you
you know I mean it turns out this is a
huge skill I didn't know I can find
anybody so anyway for those of you who
are numerically interested of the 604
that I mentioned there was no internet I
located 525 people yes Wow and and
that's my that's my greatest achievement
and see what I mean you want me to find
anyone I'll find him for you so so
anyway of the 522 325 agreed to be part
of the study miraculously they were
divided equally between males and
females in the latest iteration of the
study I have a hundred and he's 197
people and a lot of that was you know 68
to 72 years old life has taken some
strange turns there's the mortality rate
etc but you know almost 200 them are
still sticking with me which is pretty
amazing and I continue to learn from
them on a daily basis so anyway the
first point I wanted to make to you and
then I'll introduce you to some of the
people who were part of my thinking
about this is that being gifted does not
make someone invulnerable so many people
are convinced that if you're smart
you're a high achiever you're gifted
you've got it all and it's what you want
to see me crazy like really crazy one of
the things that gets to me is when and I
hope this is not going to offend any of
you I hope it's not but when there's or
hurt you either when there's a you know
like you hear you read about something
there's a suicide there's a shooting
there's all kinds of things and the
commentary is and they were an honor
student it makes me insane as if being
an honor student would somehow make them
invulnerable to all the other influences
of life so you know this is one of my
main missions in life is to guarantee
that people understand that we tend to
forget especially when a kid is a very
high achiever or very highly gifted that
there are other parts to their life and
both the family and the culture have
influence on that there was one woman
who is a very well-known psychologist in
Northeast who wrote something that was
stunning to me
she wrote I'll just read you directly
she wrote when I was in third grade and
none of the school I was attending told
my parents in a very stern tone you know
your daughter is very smart which made
my mother feel that there might be
something bad about this I've always
excelled at school but at the same time
I felt there was something suspect and
being smart as my mother had said it
could lead to the sin of pride so by
middle school I started to hide my
successes I became extremely
self-conscious whenever I made a mistake
or needed to ask the question as the
rest of the class would go and sort of
uh suspend sort of a hushed shock it
took me many many years to be able to
ask questions freely I think about the
girls you know or the kids in general I
assumed that to not know an answer was a
terrible humiliating failure even in my
career I was so used to holding back
that I had no understanding experience
with competition including what to do
and faced with it somehow I did okay but
I would have gotten a lot more out of
life without that burden you need to
have a conversation with gifted kids to
make them understand that you know being
gifted is not
the only thing they're going to hit you
no they're gonna hit you no failures
they really have problems etc etc and
also there is this you know the mother
in the background saying oh it's the sin
of pride so the kids that you see
whether in your classroom or whatever
are coming with a whole lot of stuff
that have nothing to do with what you're
teaching them and I think we really do
forget that when we see all the
possibility in the hope and the promise
so it's a it's a plea for you know I
mean it's what we all talk about but
somehow it gets gets you know gets
masked with gifted kids you're looking
at the whole child okay so that I mean
you all know that but I just want to
bring that home this was another one
about the family and again somehow you
know I've heard people say to gifted
kids you know when they're talking about
terrible stresses oh you're gifted you
can handle it
no and all I needed was once
presidential scholar to show me why this
this is a pain that lasts for a lifetime
this this is a woman who was it was a
minister and she works with poor and
disenfranchised populations near Seattle
which is completely irrelevant what's
relevant is is the story she told and
the bottom line on this is you just
never know what kids are coping with it
just don't know they can come to school
glitzy and all bright-eyed and ready to
learn and then she wrote there were four
children in our family the youngest was
Scott born when I was six Scott was born
profoundly disabled he started having
grand mal seizures when I was seven and
if he went to a seizure mom would say
gene take care of Ellen and Damon she
would throw a coat of her nightgown and
run to the hospital she might be gone
six hours I was seven and there was a
five year old and a three year old and I
was in charge you're so smart Jeanne she
used to say as she was leaving you can
handle it so I became a very mature
child teachers love a mature
child but comparison to home school was
so easy all I had to do was what was a
sign to be cheerful in high school I'd
be one of the first people in the
building the morning and always the last
to leave I just couldn't face going home
that she writes shouldn't someone have
noticed it still gets me know shouldn't
someone have noticed so you know it's
again it's a real plea that when you're
watching kids behavior don't just paint
the patina of gifted you know if a kid
is staying late getting there early you
know intensely learning it's a great
thing but you also have to think about
the possibility and again I'm not saying
that all Presidential Scholars have this
but one certainly did and you know
something to think about the culture is
also the culture of kids comes from also
has a rather significant impact I
interviewed this guy up in Maine and
I've been kind of following him because
he was he was the lowest how do I say
Louis occupational level he had dropped
out of school he was working as a 800
number for ll mean he was where he was a
pretty common a salesperson on the other
end and it was kind of surprising to me
because he had you know acquired a an
Ivy League degree and it's when I went
to interview him it was not the
presentation I was expecting but he he
taught me quite a lesson which was the
effects of poverty and the effect of
culture on a gifted kid he wrote about
halfway through college I was feeling
very out of place being a working-class
boy in an owning class called college
and not experiencing the academic
success which it comes to early in high
school I went to the college
psychologist talked about this but at
the time wasn't really aware of that the
impact of feeling that up feeling sorry
the impact that feeling out of place had
on me the psychologist got my file out
and said considering where you came from
your
about what we expect of you I left his
office feeling that someone had punched
me in the stomach and essentially gave
up on the whole academic experience
because he who came from a culture that
didn't you know he was the first one was
the first one
but then the college person and I newly
college said that he said I could not
drop out of college because it was my
parent's dream it was yeah yeah my
parents never knew and still do not know
how unhappy college made me and how hard
it was to recover from it and I'm sure
they never suspected nor do they still
know what a wedge it drove between
myself and my family and we never think
about the impact that the first came to
go to college you know what how does
that affect the whole family yeah they
just assumed it was a good thing and
they gave me a better life I wanted to
give me a better life than they had they
had no way of knowing what really
happened or what it did to me in the
long run so again whenever you have to
think about the cultural context that a
gifted kid comes from and you know
especially if you a kid who's
underachieving there may be a story
there that you would just have no way of
knowing so that was you know I thought
that was pretty interesting so from from
that vantage point the thing I want to
make a plea for is you understand the
different contexts that gifted kids come
from the other thing is for you to
normalize for kids the struggles because
there are a lot of different kids out
there as I can absolutely testify from
kids I've studied for 40 years who
struggle with this on a daily basis and
then they feel that something is wrong
with them because they're struggling
they need to know that these influences
can cause a struggle and actually even
though it sounds pollyannish you know
their experience of being gifted as much
richer for having to struggle with it so
anyway that's the one the one thing that
sort of double-edged sort of games is
something that I want to make sure you
understand and certainly that's
something that
dr. torrents taught me about and I was
really happy to be able to he was one of
the first people who really talked about
poverty and giftedness no one was
talking about that then and he was one
of the first ones to really talk about
the struggle of giftedness so I felt
very privileged to be around when he was
thinking about those things
the second big question I think to
questions is enough for for one time the
second big question I asked them was
about their awards and their
achievements and how over time they kind
of landed with these people and I was
pretty surprised considering the
magnitude of the awards the achievements
and the honors these kids got when they
were in high school and subsequently in
college because that's that's pretty
much their trajectory
is that when you're a big award winner
in high school you what do you do you go
on to school you win more or more honors
and continue to achieve if the most part
that was true things change however when
you get out of the formal educational
environment and that was something I
think a lot of them were ill prepared
for you know so stuff things change and
your values put on achievement your
value put on achievement and the extent
that it means something to you I have
found really changes over life course
and I think for a lot of them they were
taken by surprise that that awards and
achievement and honors in general cease
to have meaning over time and
consequently a lot of them felt like
they were not successful when they were
it's just that the criteria for success
had changed they were often given just
one singular definition of success that
was usually attached to achievement in
school right that's what they got so
that when they got out of the formal
educational environment and all of a
sudden success started looking like
different things they were completely
thrown so I'm a big proponent of making
sure
if kids have different models for
success and different criteria not just
one singular thing because I worry about
them when they're 40 years old because
I've seen them when they're five senior
kids when they're 40 years old and I
know how disorienting it could be them
so here's here's one story that was was
very interesting to me this is a woman
with John and I had no actually very
well she's a science writer she's
written 23 books there was no way this
woman could be considered an
underachiever and yet she wrote I guess
my feeling about achievement really
hasn't changed
I still demand the equivalent of
straight A's for myself even though I
know in real life you won't get all A's
the way you did in school not all who
knew that they were expected to get AIDS
in life - and it was sort of stunning to
them when they didn't there are very few
ways you can get all A's in life right
and the same thing if you get addicted
to praise you know they were so used to
hearing how smart they were and how
confident and they were getting A's and
awards and honors you know when you
think about it like how many times when
you go home just whoever might be
waiting for you at home say you are just
so smart I'm just okay do you get that
kind of praise you know you just like
wow but the thing I praise addiction is
of all their talk but anyway so sure so
even though I know you won't get all
easily did school my mother said I had
such great potential and it was a shame
I never realized it
her mother's at 23 books you know my
rational side thinks she's wrong but my
emotional side suspect she's right I
just kind of lived life as it came my
definition of success is dying knowing
you had a hell of a fun ride she says I
can do that
we don't talk with gifted kids about fun
and as a criteria for a successful life
and you know I'm like come on
and you know fun meets for ever and I
was just talking about it go girl right
fun has to be part of the criteria I
might add is cuz I'm looking at Barbara
last time Barbara and I shared a podium
onstage in front of 500 people at n AGC
I verbally outloud made the decision to
get married because of Barbara's talk
so she'll they can tell you about that
but I'm terrified now and she's in an
audience that I'm speaking it was Albany
class what next all right so so that was
one um
the definition this isn't a guy who's a
farmer in Maine his career is not
typical he's the only farmer that I have
in group but the sentiment I found
fascinating he said the definition of
success is being happy with what you've
got hasn't changed much for me over the
years I've always valued time as much as
money one change is that I value
personal friendships and family more
than I used to and that is an absolute
unequivocal trend among presidential
scholars as time goes on
what really becomes most important is
the personal stuff and I was taken aback
at that so it's it's kind it's really
interesting to hear at the stage of life
what their whole new definition of
success is he writes achievement now he
said I wish I'd had more fun in my 20s
and 30s I was pretty damn serious and
worked very hard during those years I
wish I had instead develop better
friendships with my teachers and
classmates I did spend more time with my
son as he was growing up than my father
spent with me but it was still not
enough I recall a big snowstorm in
Oregon when we lived six miles out of
town Ben's elementary school was
canceled I still struggle to drive into
the office to work on a pressing project
I should have spent that day with my 10
year old at home throwing snowballs now
that
and real success it was interesting to
see how many people thought that and one
of the let me see if I can find this one
for you sort of out of wait wait this
one's worth waiting for hang on I don't
know what's happened to her
there's wait everyone stay calm oh oh
here you are I was looking for you so
this has to do again with with
definitions of success I love this one
she wrote I have been what's the last
thing you sort of think about giving an
academic achiever great joy she said I
have been a full-time stay-at-home
mother of nine children for most of my
life I love what I do
I always have mothering even when it
mainly involves lots of cleaning toilets
doing laundry cooking and dishes even
when it's required many many diaper
changes and vomit cleanups has been a
constant joy to me I love children and
my home has been and still is filled
with them being allowed to teach them in
any capacity is an exciting challenge
the time will come when I will be free
to go forward with another career or new
horizons I worry that I don't have the
courage of youth anymore the stamina for
late-night studying the clear vision of
my 20s and what to do or the support of
a youth or ancient workplace on the
other hand unlike my younger self I'm
starting from my later life definition
of success a happy home that I built for
both the family that belongs there and
also one that draws others and embraces
them as well I mean that to me was a
real a real grabber that you know this
is someone who absolutely found
fulfillment something that I'm sure when
she was up there in the Rose Garden
getting that award nobody would have
predicted that that would've been so
rewarding for and I was just delighted
here's one that this guy is a very
famous author an American guy you've
seen him on TV a million
times and I'm just gonna read it to you
cuz I think is a really interesting
quote he said I guess I was raised to
think in terms of girls and achievements
ran of goals and accomplishments rather
than achievements a weird distinction
right I think it was really interesting
goals some accomplishments rather than
achievements a subtle distinction maybe
but the emphasis is always on the work
more than the outcome though this was
dr. Torrance talking about that in the
70s the emphasis on the work not the
outcome achievement to me is what you
list on your CV because someone
somewhere will perhaps be impressed but
God help you if you yourself are
impressed accomplishment is when is when
you look back and say well hell I did
pretty well considering I'd like to know
how to accomplish things but I have no
idea how to achieve and this this one
was very interesting in terms of awards
and please understand this is his
language not mine so you could get bent
out of shape by it but oh well he said
as for awards the Presidential Scholar
thing was like the Emancipation
Proclamation I was stuck in a small
bigoted town with a life that was shaped
by internal politics of standards along
comes massive Presidential Scholars
program and set my young ass free I
needed just shut everybody up
my father had to stop telling me how
he'd never amount to anything
my mother could stop worrying if it was
just she who thought I was special that
history teacher was always telling you
know I needed to be a credit to my race
had to keep his paternalism to himself
the good teachers a lot of whom had
taken flack for supporting me got to
look around and beam I got to say so
there then I went to college and got a C
on my first paper that was the
experience the Presidential Scholars
confirmation followed by reality check
then he says thank God for both
I thought that was pretty interesting
let me see there was a no there's
another one that I just like reading
because it's so much fun I love this
woman that's great she says it was again
about how life turns out and how your
your your thoughts about achievement
start to turn a little bit she said when
I was apprenticed at presidential
scholar I thought that what I really
needed in life was just that the world
on fire actually I'm thankful I've not
set my hair on well there was that time
with the with the water heater pilot
luncheon then she's completely grabbed
me when I first read she said I married
the wrong man in the last of 20 years a
great tragedy of my life was not that it
failed but that it succeeded so well my
divorce is one of my greatest
accomplishments because for the first
time I was able to say hey this is who I
am this is what I want this is what I
need but they don't get Awards for that
but they can get that from you yeah new
when I realized I would not set the
world on fire I determined that what I
really wanted needed all along was to
spend what warmth and light I could in
my little corner of it so am i
successful yeah so I you know the whole
idea of giving kids different models for
success I think is really really
important because gifted kids
Presidential Scholars sort of their
heightened version of this can get
hooked on a particular model and it
comes back and sort of disorients them
later on so as much you know showing
them showing kids different models for
successes you can do I think is really
important there's one last quote because
I don't have to get off now but there's
one last quote that I wanted to read to
just again because it's fun which of
course I can't find oh how embarrassing
and you're filming this aren't you
right right well you know it I know it's
here I know it's here I have no excuse
for this everything's in place up it was
right under the other one I couldn't
find life gets bad when you get past
retirement age sometimes anyway I just
want to read this to you because I think
of all the quotes this this is one of my
absolute favorites this is a guy who was
a very very famous mathematician he
writes this may sound silly oh he's a
lawyer I think this may sound silly you
said but when I was assigned by my end
by my new york-based law firm to work in
the Brussels office I spent a month
taking intensive French language
training in La Rochelle I was worried
that I'm taking a month off would
interfere with my work to the point that
it made me ill the thing about leaving
it was assured though that this would
not affect my pending promotion and this
is a guy who was a monster lawyer with
all kinds of awards and honors and you
know I wasn't expecting this quote from
him he writes one week and I was driving
around the countryside and had a very
nice lunch in a country restaurant
including a raspberry tart for dessert
I'm leaving I saw that a local farmer
had pulled up in an old story on mini
truck and was unloading trays of
raspberries
I was absolutely transfixed to that
point all I had ever thought about was
climbing as far possible up the ladder
of achievement but at that moment it
made me think that maybe one should care
about just enjoying life
well I remained ambitious for many years
thereafter I think I became decidedly
less driven than I once was and then
happily always dated that changed to
that Sunday lunch in the French
countryside
so along those lines and I this is the
the tie-in to dr. Torres and actually
does this make me think of dr. Torrance
when I read their quote I remember as a
young graduate student asking dr.
Torrance know who
as dazzling as you heard his number of
achievements as accomplishments his
awards as honors as publications what he
thought was his greatest accomplishment
what a question to asked right but I got
very brave and I thought and now those
of you didn't know doctor towards one
little Jim I can give you is there was
something that those of us who studied
with him Tammy you know this bunion was
the Torrence position for deep thinking
which was he would lean back in his
chair and then take his right hand and
put it over his bald head right anyway
just like you just sort of lean back and
go out into space you know you would
think that remember I mean he was
yesterday and and then he would always
pull out exactly the right thing exactly
the right reference exactly the right
quote whatever it was you're waiting for
so I was thinking yeah let's see what
you pull out is your greatest
achievement got just some done that one
and he said my greatest accomplishment
raised achievement I am proudest of is
being pansies husband and might I add
this being his birthday the one thing
that I just I would get so choked up in
front of you in fact I was watching him
every year of it see there oh gosh on
his birthday when she would make for him
in his favorite pumpkin bread and he was
so proud of her because she thought to
substitute oil substitute applesauce for
oil so I actually brought the recipe
that pansy gave me including her
handwriting where she substitutes
applesauce and guess what you all can
have the recipe too
you
