How is America a super power?
First cover the toilet with a full wall
There is a survey which says majority of Indians read "news" while taking a dump
So it’s absolutely no wonder
That Indian media is covered with “shitty” news
After all the reading my father will throw the paper in a corner
If, by mistake, my mom steps on it she'll touch her eyes
Because it is Saraswati, our goddess of education
How can I bring such a person to US
And explain the concept of “toilet” paper
Can we wipe it in our eyes after using it?
Who invented toilet paper? “White people”
They eat bread and bun, it's enough for them
We eat Indian Food
That results in “endless” shit
That’s why I came up with a great idea
I bought water bottles in bulk
In all my mom’s US pics, she poses with Aquafina
My whole family washes their tushy in Aquafina
Everyone takes a dump right?
In an office restroom if you are aware there is another person outside, you have to wait
You have to follow their footsteps
Once the door open its a war zone
In the movie Shawshank Redemption they'll dig a hole during a thunderstorm
Similarly people sync with the flush sound!
Apparently that’ll mask other sounds!  Brilliant Minds!
If only I get my hands on that automatic flush inventor!
For just breathing it goes swoing! swoing!
I am NOT finished yet da!
Why do you need automation in a restroom?
All the lights in my office are automated. Motion sensor!  Not loose motion, Object motion!
The lights will turn off after 15mins when there is no motion
If a body has been inside without motion for 15 mins it means there is a huge dump taking place
If by mistake your office desk is near a restroom entrance, Its like a Chitra Guptan (Heaven's accountant) hotseat
You can correctly find out who has sugar, blood pressure etc
Sharp 11 o'clock Venky will walk straight to restroom
If he doesn't show up that day I start missing him, “Looks like Venky didn't come today!”
Venky would have come but his nature's calling never came
So sad!
How is America a super power?
First you build complete restroom door
Then you can build wall at the border
You can see the head when standing, legs when bending, the only thing missing is a window for FaceTiming
I have felt more safe going by the bushes
You can see their shoes!
You can see their ID cards!
Only visiting card is missing
You would've just given a presentation that morning
They'll ask, "How did it go?"
It went well for me, did you “go” alright?
Mother promise I won't come to that meeting
