I'm on Call the Midwife downstairs,
and he's got QI on in the bedroom.
There's only so many babies
you can watch being born.
And I quite like Stephen Fry.
Only three or four percent of mammals
are ever faithful.
Did you know that?
Bats, muskrats and wolves, apparently.
Wolves.
You don't expect that.
Then the one with the beard says,
'Monogamy, bigamy: all one wife too many'.
And we're laughing.
He's got his arm around me
and we're laughing, when he says:
'I'm leaving'.
43 years.
It's not as if we didn't try.
No one stays that long 
if none of it is working.
We travelled, we had one another.
We were family, 
we gave each other confidence.
We built a good life together.
We owned our own property.
Yes, we argued. 
Yes, we didn't like everything
but we talked about it.
We thrashed things out.
Compromise? Maybe.
Yes, sometimes.
But is that such a bad thing? 
Rubbing along.
'But your door is always open'.
'You'd just let anyone in Helen, 
if it was up to you'.
And that's when I say, 'No-one is listening'.
'Exactly, that's my point!'
And now he's getting really agitated:
'If you'd been listening, then maybe this 
wouldn't have come as such a surprise'.
I thought that together we were stronger.
Who wants to be alone?
'You'll get over it. Won't be 
as bad as you expect'.
'I promise'.
He says that,
but it's balances and checks.
That's what marriage is, that's what 
any union is for.
It made me feel safe, it made me feel secure.
It kept me in line.
I thought we were working 
towards something.
Us. A team.
There's no 'I' in 'team'.
'But what about freedom?'
'Freedom to do as you choose'.
'Freedom to spend your money as you choose'.
'To live as you choose, Helen'.
Well, that got to me.
'To screw as you choose?'
'Yes, Helen, yes'.
I'm getting to old for this.
That's when I vowed that he'd pay.
You don't leave like that, and then nothing.
'This is going to kick you where it hurts'.
'It'll cost'.
'And forget regret'.
He just stands there, calm:
'We'll see. We'll see'.
43 years.
It would have been easier if he'd had an affair.
He'd have lost his head, but at least 
he would've come back.
I might even have forgiven him.
But this?
There's no coming back from this.
Once you're out, you're out.
You left, and now that's it. That's it.
What do I do now?
'You live with it'.
And then he turns and says,
'We'll always have Paris.'
Which makes me laugh
because he hated the French.
