Hey it's Annabelle, welcome back.
I'm going to chit chat and share some of my goals for the year.
at home in California,
I drafted this video and I wanted to make a casual chitchat
called brain dump,
where I would jot some notes and I had this chart.
and I realized, so simply
that dividing my binder paper into twelve squares is literally the whole year !
and that puts into perspective just how limited our days are.
jotting down basic things I know is going to happen in 2020,
such as my graduation in May,
where I'm going to be living afterwards- or moving.
I know I still struggle with living in the moment,
so I want to learn how to do that better.
so that jumps into my first goal,
which is self-improvement.
I think setting goals to begin with is already self-improvement,
but also healing.
I went to counseling this week for the first time since freshman year of university.
my school's counseling just refers you to out of office so I haven't found a
therapist yet
and I'm gonna reach out to a therapist.
I was supposed to do this in the fall and I don't know,
it just keeps pushing back.
I have done plenty of therapy before in high school.
in the past, I've kind of said- well it's
complicated because
I don't have insurance that's covered here in Rhode Island,
but this time Tyler was so caring as to cover RISD health insurance for me.
I think it just got to a point where it's so normal that it's almost part of my personality
and definitely it holds me back,
and it affects my daily life..
and I don't like that and for a long time it also puts a damper on my intimate relationships
whether it's with my mom, my sister,
or my boyfriend.
definitely healing things that have
stuck with me since childhood
because when you're a kid you don't know how to deal with those emotions,
and you don't actually know what they are so you
just glide over and then later on it comes back and bites you in the ass..
I hope that it will improve my relationships,
so that was one of my other goals.
with my family, boyfriend, friends,
also my internet community; setting boundaries
another one is to find motivation at school.
like in the QnA, I was saying how textiles has changed a lot for me
and the course of my career has changed
a lot so that kind of..
made me lose momentum.
now it's time for us to do our thesis basically.. and I'm kind of like
*cries*
though for our winter term, I'm taking a
creative writing class-
I was quite thrilled about
and now that it's been about two weeks,
this class is not as beginner-friendly as I thought it would
because everybody coming into this class seems to already have written and they
love reading and literature, and they kind of have an idea what they want to write.
it seems like we got to class and we're just writing with no guidance and then
we're gonna come to class and workshop them together and critique them.
I feel inexperienced so I'm struggling a little more.. but thankfully,
I used a skillshare class last week to kick off my first story.
and this video was done in collaboration with SkillShare,
so thank you for the sponsorship.
I worked with them about this time last year,
I made an infinity scarf.
and then I made myself another scarf-
this rainbow space-dyed yarn is from savers,
and it was in my thrift haul two years ago..
and it looks really different when you knit it out.
I mixed it with a solid red-
I thought that it would give it a nice break.
looks like this,
so this class was hand knitting last year.
the writing one is called 'introduction of fiction: how to write the first draft of a short story'
by Seth Fried.
it helped me overcome the initial block where it introduce the concept of
getting rid of the inner critic and since I didn't know what I wanted to write about,
I follow the prompt where you draw down details about a time in your life
and use those details to construct a narrative..
and that's the plot for my first story, and then the second one that I'm working on
simultaneously is very abstract
and it's more prose poetry because I love poetry.
for those who aren't familiar, Skillshare is an online learning community and by becoming a member,
you have access to classes in a vast range,
you can also get in touch because they have a system where you can contribute your progress
and share that with other people that are also taking the class.
I like that the interface is designed so it can realistically fit in with your busy schedule-
the main topics are set out here;
you can speed it up or slow it down.
so when I was taking knitting, I needed to slow it down 50%.
so check out the link in my description if you're interested-
Skillshare is giving away 2 months free of membership and after that,
it's around $10 a month.
and now moving on to more of my goals,
the next one concerns my fitness regimen.
it positively impacts my everyday attitude,
and although I know that, it's really hard to get back on track once you've fallen out of it.
if I can work out 6 days a week again,
that would be great.
not thinking about what I want to look
like, or what I want to achieve
in terms of my body.
honestly, it hasn't been as much all in mind because-
we all know that diet is like 75 to 80% of your...
physical, I don't know... composition?
being vegan-or being mostly vegan-
has cut out so much junk that I used to eat.
it takes a lot less exercise for me just be able to see my tone,
whereas I would have to work my 4 times
harder to achieve the tone,
but because my diet is congruent with my exercise
for me it's so much about crafting the self-discipline-
you need so much willpower to bring yourself to the gym some days,
or even unroll that mat here in your own room.
some goals I have in the near future..
is to explore..
..the art of dance !
I thought this would never happen for me. when I was young,
I didn't play a sport or I didn't do dance.
you know- there's a stereotype that you have to start when you're 3,
or when you're like 6.
it's actually just about the fun of learning,
so I'm really into the idea of ballet.
just to know it, to know posture.
it could improve my posture,
it would also help me appreciate watching ballet dance as well,
and one of my close friends here at school did ballet growing up,
so she gave me some pointers, and once I'm out of school,
I want to see about enrolling in like a community class
and that will carry on to my other dream..
of learning figure skating!
I don't know how advanced I can be,
but..
if I can just do one simple jump..
I would be so proud of myself,
and luckily,
I already have my own set of skates..
that are all white and beautiful.
we found it at the re-use Center, back when Tyler used to live in upstate New York.
we found it for 5 dollars,
so I'm gonna pay for the blades to get sharpened.
so I have a lot of physical goals at the moment I think..
partially it's because I'm young right now so I want to take advantage of that
before I can't learn these things when I'm older.
it's rewarding to say, 'I want to go after something that I'm not good at'
and once I get better- even just a little better,
it's because I earned it.
another goal I have is to learn more
vegan recipes.
I already follow a lot of foodie blogs on Instagram.
many of them are complicated, like 20 ingredients so I don't really attempt those right now at school.
nowadays, my vegan dinner always would just be stir-fry,
and it'll be really fast- it would take me like 15 minutes.
sometimes that's just what I want,
other days, now, I'm kind of getting tired of it
and there are definitely a good handful of fast staple vegan recipes
that are really really good-
if you have any, please share them with me below.
a lot of the recipes I'm interested in require a food processor or a blender of some sort
and since I don't have that appliance, I am too lazy to attempt the recipes.
but Tyler has a ninja, and he told me that next month he'll let me use it
so he can bring it to Florida where we're gonna meet up.
I know I want to try sweet potato,
or no. sorry- butternut squash mac and cheese.
I've had it at Chloe before, it's a little overpriced
for my budget, so I'd rather make it from
scratch at home.
I've always loved cooking.
so it's a hobby and I want to be satisfied if I spend an hour to make something,
I want it to taste so good.
also baking of course, I want to make pastries.
granola bars! are amazing cus I love nuts
for Christmas, I asked for a granola bar
press.
a few months ago, I bought stuff from the bulk section.
I got oats for the granola and then mini chocolate chips,
almonds,
some seeds..
those are so expensive.
those seeds- but very nutritious.
so I'm finally gonna use up those ingredients I bought.
I'm not perfect and I probably won't be
zero-waste but
I like taking little steps to do that if I can.
and I've also been thinking about buying bread from the local bakeries and just going there
with a container or one of those bread bags
instead of getting them in the plastic bags.
the next goal is sleep training.
my sleep has been quite good in college,
as I've said I don't really pull all-nighters.
I really love my sleep, or else I would literally turn into a demon if I don't get sleep !
I struggled with insomnia when I was in high school and I went to therapy about my sleep before.
it was in that time that I learned how to unwind,
and sleep-trained.
ever since I came home from California, I've been sleeping at like 1:00 in the morning
and waking up at 9:00 or 9:30,
which isn't so bad-
it's just a personal thing, I really hate waking up late.
throws off my whole day because by the time I fed the cats,
and I'm kind of settled in,
it's already 9:45 and I barely have a few hours before I'm supposed to eat lunch,
so I'm a lot more functional if I can have breakfast around 6:00,
and then get in five hours to work before lunch.
of course I have a mini breakfast part 2 around 10:00.
I love getting up around 6:00.
5:00 would be perfect.
but going to bed at 9:00, or like 8:30,
it's kind of hard.
another change I need to integrate is
not going on my phone right before bed and not going on it the first thing when I wake up.
during that haze where I'm not ready to get up yet,
Iwas so tempted to go on my phone
to look at my emails or something but
that always makes me less motivated to start my day on a good note
and then the next one is to read more.
I have read a lot more since last year.
I started this reading list on my Instagram
and I've read like.. maybe 5?
and it's definitely not at the "one book a month" rate that I wanted to.
it's kind of like saying 'showing up is important' and just doing it at all.
I've started this book called "the power of habit",
it was Tyler's, he left it here and I finally started reading it,
just for the sake of reading it
and it's good. I've jotted a lot of notes down but I'm only 2/3rds through
so once I am done, I will share. it's by Charles Duhigg.
explaining how habits form,
how you can form positive habits,
Keystone habits is a word that he uses
and it is a habit that causes a chain reaction of other habits.
but I also picked up another one I have not started.
it's "a little book of game changers" by Jessica Cording.
I don't know the ratings, haven't looked it up,
I just saw in the store and I wanted to pick it up because it has a big section on nutrition.
"easy ways to up your protein intake"
"how to tell good carbs from bad carbs"
"hydrate like it's your side hustle"
"how to make time for Fitness"
"find a sunscreen you love"
this chapter says, "the best workout is the one you'll actually do"
"do I really need to eat breakfast?"
so all of those things that I've heard a lot about but
I would like to read up on it and know more.
a novel I started and I haven't finished is " the Worrier's guide to the end of the world"
by Torre deRoche
I want to say that the title is supposed to mirror the Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy? maybe?
the author writes in a very
autobiographical way..
is that a word?
but that's what partly attracted me,
is knowing that this is a true story, although she's changed the names.
she grew up in a family where her father is a mystery/murder crime novel writer.
that really shaped their childhood in a certain way,
and then after the loss of her father,
she is learning about the meaning of life and she travels a lot.
"love, loss and other catastrophes through India, Italy, and Beyond"
maybe it's like a sort of eat love pray vibe ?
...
-Eat Pray Love, sorry.
other novels: I'm going to start Little Women cus I've never read it,
by Louisa May Alcott, and I promise that I'm going to read it before
I see the film.
that means I ought to finish it within the month, before the theater doesn't happen film anymore.
alright, my very last goal that I wrote down is
practice gratitude and dedication.
although I consider myself a very grateful person
and I always talk about gratitude,
I have a lot of faults where I take things for granted so subconsciously that
if I were to be more mindful and if I spent more of my time thinking about it,
I will be more content as a person.
my anxieties would be less if I truly truly believed
the people in my life- if I truly believed that they are a support system,
rather than making myself feel guilty for isolating myself to them
I want to reframe and reconsider my perspective on a lot of my
personal relationships.
a professor I had recently would start the class everyday by one-minute dedication.
and it would be silent so you just do it to yourself in your head.
"think of one person that helped you get to where you are today" and just think about that.
I would either think about my art teacher or I thought about my math tutor who introduced us to that,
spending 60 seconds give me a reminder of how much I value them,
what a great journey it's been to where I am.
sometimes when I'm muddling through my days,
and not really thinking how I got here,
it's easy to have tunnel vision and to only worry about what's stressing me out.
look who came to visit !
and so practicing my gratitude gives me that reminder,
pushing me forward. to give myself more credit when I truly feel like a failure ?
or just like I'm not doing enough,
or I'm not meeting up to my expectations.
I feel like I could have worded that a
lot better but I didn't script this so
I'm a little bit...
chunky monkey today
even doing this video and just expressing my thoughts candidly
is a step for me.
alright so those are all my goals.
I would love to hear some of yours,
or if you share some in common with mine.
thank you so much for being here,
I will see you soon, have a great messy day or night.
sending you my love.
bye!
