

### To God Be the Glory

A Personal Testimony of God's Healing Power

Lydia Marshall

Copyright © 2014 by Lydia Marshall

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations in this book are from the King James Version of the Bible.

Dedication

To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

Use my testimony for Your glory

Psalm 107:1-2

"O give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy;"

God can heal any situation you are in, any problem you are facing, any disease or sickness killing you, and any attack by the enemy.

God can heal anything!

Nothing is too small and unimportant for His healing power to touch, and nothing is too big or impossible for His healing love to overcome.

Nothing is impossible with God!

**If you are facing a physically impossible situation or sickness, remember,** nothing is impossible with God **!**

I was in a physically impossible situation, one so big and so hopeless that I did not know if I would survive it, but God miraculously healed it. God does nothing in half measures. What God heals is healed fully and completely, and it is healed forever. It will never return to torment you. Praise You Lord!

God healed me, and He wants to do exactly the same for you!

### Introduction

God instructed me to write my testimony for His glory, to help others facing situations in which they need healing and guidance, and to share what God has taught me and how He has changed my life forever. The spiritual truths that God imparted to me are so simple yet so powerful. In order for me to be healed spiritually and physically, God had to guide me through _6 Steps of Healing_ :

Step 1: Do Not Fear

Fear is reverence.

Fearing means that you do not trust God to take care of the issue at hand. You do not believe that God will protect you.

Step 2: Do Not Focus on the Evil

Do not focus on the enemy, sickness, disease, problem, or circumstance.

Step 3: Focus on God

Seek God with all your heart. Draw closer to Him spiritually. Read the Bible and pray without ceasing.

Trust God and place your faith in Him and Him alone.

Surrender everything in your life to God.

Forgive others their trespasses.

Step 4: Claim the Promises in the Bible

Claim the promises in the Bible with authority in the name of Jesus. Claim your healing and victory in the name of Jesus.

Step 5: Walk by Faith and Not by Sight

Believe that what God promised, He is also able to perform. Expect victory. Act as though it has already come to pass even if you cannot physically see it.

Step 6: Praise God and Give Him the Glory

Praise God for healing you even before you can physically see the healing. Remember, spiritually, your healing has already occurred when you claim your healing with authority in the name of Jesus Christ.

### Chapter 1

### Pride and Disobedience Separate Me from God

I was raised in love and peace. If I had to use two words that best described my childhood, those would be it. My memories are overflowing with scenes of family dinners with delicious home-cooked food that always began with all of us holding hands, bowing our heads, and our father leading us in prayer, of us having quality family time in the living room watching movies, of us asking our father 1,001 questions about anything and everything and him patiently answering each and every one, of us asking our mother when the food was going to be ready (when she had just started cooking) or asking if we were there yet (when we had just left the house to go on a family vacation) and her patient, gentle, loving answers as she was bombarded by four unreasonable children. All of my memories consist of us being together, doing everything together, as a strong Christian family.

My father and mother created this loving, peaceful home by making sure that God was at the center of their lives and that He was more important to them than anything else. When they first met each other, God told my mother that this was her husband, and He told my father that this was his wife. That is the best beginning to any marriage that I could ever imagine. God blessed our family, blessed my parents for their deep commitment to Him, and that blessing extended on us as their children. I truly thought that this peaceful, loving, idyllic childhood with quality family time was normal. I took it and God's blessings for granted.

God had also blessed me with the amazing ability to excel at school. From as early as I can remember, I have loved reading books; in fact, I still have the very first book that I started reading by myself when I was three or four years old. I was always a straight-A, honor roll student, and when I would earn an A on a homework assignment, I would want to celebrate by buying a new book. I enjoyed learning new subjects and school just came easily to me. After taking all the Advanced Placement (AP) classes I could in high school, I started college one year early, and by taking on a very heavy course load each semester, even during the summer, I graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree at the age of nineteen. All of these astounding academic achievements were starting to go to my head. I let pride grab a foothold in my heart and soul, and instead of giving God the glory and praising Him for the blessings that He bestowed upon me and joyfully letting others know that it was only because of God that I had accomplished so much in so little time, my heart became full of pride at how good _I_ was at school and how much _I_ had accomplished.

**Romans 1:20-22** : "For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,"

Professing myself to be wise, I became a fool; it just took me years to realize it. I did not give God the glory. In my prideful and vain heart, I believed that it was _my_ intelligence, _my_ abilities, and _my_ skills that were the causes of my easy and smooth road of life. I had never really encountered or experienced hardships, heartache, or significant financial issues. I never had to sacrifice anything.

In my late teens and early twenties, I was really just a Sunday Christian, which is better described in the New Testament as being _lukewarm_. Revelation 3:15-17: "I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:" I did pray during this time period, but because my prayers regularly consisted of things I wanted or thought I needed and I was not stopping to listen to God or asking Him what He wanted me to do, it was more of a one-way conversation. I did not have the fervent desire to know God better or to draw closer to Him. I acted as though, "Okay, I have accepted Christ as my Savior; when I die, I'll go to heaven. There's nothing more to be done. Now, I need to get back to _my_ plans for _my_ life and what _I_ want to do." I knew better than this! I was raised a lot better than this, but I had let pride and self-centeredness take ahold of my heart and soul. Although I would never have expressed this out loud, in my heart I was starting to believe that I was better than other people because of _my_ exceptional skills and abilities.

I meticulously planned out every detail of my life because I wanted to be in control of every aspect of my life. I never asked God for His guidance. I never really asked Him anything. I was so busy with my important, well-planned life that I did not have much time for anything else, including my loving, precious family. Nothing besides my schoolwork mattered. When I graduated, then it was my future career that become the idol in my heart and occupied all my thoughts.

Although I looked forward to having a husband and children, I delayed dating until after I graduated college, in part because my schedule left no time for social activities, though even if it had, nobody I met was ever good enough for me, but also because I had always desired to not date anyone until God showed me my husband, as He did for my mother. Even though I was proud of all that _I_ had accomplished, after I graduated college and started working, I still did not feel fulfilled. In fact, I felt quite empty. My soul desired to know my Creator. I had a huge gaping hole inside of me that desperately needed to be filled with God, and I was trying to fill it with physical achievements. I needed God so much and yet He was the one person whom I never turned to. I started to think that having a boyfriend would fill the giant void in my life and wipe away my loneliness. Even though I knew better and had been raised better, I started to succumb to Hollywood's determination to portray the loose, liberal lifestyle as normal and desirable. It seemed as if everyone around me was dating and having sex outside of marriage. I decided that I had been patient enough. I was tired of waiting for God to send my husband, and I needed a boyfriend now. Every one of the world had boyfriends and I wanted to be like the world. I wanted to have what they had. I would have been wise to read Psalm 37:1-3, which says, "Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed," and 1 John 2:15, which says, "Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him." Though, even if I would have read those verses, whether I would have hearkened to their wisdom is another matter entirely. I felt left out, empty, and incomplete, and I decided that it must be due to the lack of a boyfriend. I ended up getting together with a man whom I had no business even speaking to, let alone being in a relationship with, and God told me that, but I did not listen. I was dating a proudly-proclaimed atheist, a very ungodly man. And yes, I read 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, which plainly says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." I knew that it was wrong being with him. The Holy Spirit was strongly convicting me of it. I had stern warnings from God to run away from this man, but I did not listen and I suffered greatly for my disobedience.

I was filling that void inside of me that only God can fill, with a boyfriend and since I was not with God at this time, I was actively fighting God and going against His Word. Luke 11:23: "He that is not with me is against me: and he that gathereth not with me scattereth." My parents, friends, and even co-workers could not figure out how I could end up with such a person and asked what was attracting me to this person. Was this making me happy? NO. Was this what I wanted? NO. After the relationship ended, I spent months trying to figure out why I ever dated that person and why I did not have the sense to leave. What God showed me is that when God is not the most important part of your life, when He is not at the center of your life, when you are not seeking God and are not with God, then you are against God. God is truth, and when you are not with God, you do not seek after the truth, you do not have the truth, you do not recognize the truth, and you cannot see the truth. It does not matter how obvious, how plain, how simple the truth is, you do not recognize it. You cannot. You are living a lie. That is what I was doing. In John 8:32, Jesus said that "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." I did not know the truth; I was fighting the truth, and I was in bondage. It became so bad that I felt unable to leave under the spiritual bondage that was holding me captive. I felt as if I were in a deep pit and I could not climb out and I could not leave, which was an evil deceit from Satan because if I would have cried out to God, asked Jesus to come to my aid, to cleanse me of all my iniquity and free me from all bondage, and had faith and trusted in Him, He would have done so. But, I did not ask for help from anybody, not spiritually, not physically, and I did not let anybody know that something was horribly wrong.

One day, I discovered that I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, he immediately demanded that I get an abortion, and he became very angry when I adamantly refused to murder my child. Abortion is murder, and I truly believe that all of the souls crying out to God for justice are heard and all of the innocent blood that has been shed in this country and around the world will be avenged by God. This is a despicable deceit from Satan, that a precious child lovingly created by The Creator, by God Almighty, is not a human being, but some sub-being that can be murdered because it is not alive. What is more alive than the creation of God? Only God can create life; only God can create at all. Every baby, every new life, is a miracle of life and a precious child of God. When God speaks, creation happens. God said, "let there be light," and there was light. When you are able to tell that you're pregnant, God has already created that child with a living soul. That baby may be so small and may not look like a _normal_ baby yet, but that baby is alive. Satan is delighted with the extreme self-centeredness, lack of a strong family unit, and rapid descent of Christian values and morals in this country. He has been actively promoting this. Women try to justify abortions because it is their body, they can do what they want to do, and a baby is an inconvenience that will interfere with work, school, travel, and other future plans. Their family will be disappointed or upset. They don't have time for a baby. They're not ready. The self-centered excuses are endless. You better be more concerned about getting God angry than with any physical inconvenience. So a baby interferes with your plans? Wonderful! Praise God for that baby whom only God can create and ask Him to show you His new plans for your life. Our selfish plans are not what God wants for us anyway.

I wanted this precious baby. I wanted her with all my being. I was obviously actively fighting God, being involved with someone whom He told me to stay away from, having sex with this person who was not the husband that God created for me—and I became pregnant. But killing the innocent, blameless baby is such a twisted, perverted, evil "solution" that everyone should see it as an idea straight from the depths of hell, straight from the mouth of the father of all lies. God can take what we intended for evil and turn it into good. He can heal any situation if we would only let Him, if we would only ask Him to. He can save us and He can redeem us. Call upon God in your hour of need and He will hear you. In Psalm 34:4, David says that "I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." It was a very, very long road for me and it may be long for you, but there is light at the end of the road. Keep reading the Bible, praying, and calling upon God, and He will save you.

Here are some Bible verses showing the marvelous love that God feels for all of His children.

**Psalm 139:13-14** : "For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

**Psalm 127:3-5** : "Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

**Isaiah 54:13** : "And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children."

**Luke 18:15-17** **:** "And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein."

**Matthew 18:1-6** : "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

**Galatians 3:26** **:** "For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus."

**Ephesians 5:1** **:** "Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;"

**Ephesians 6:1-4** : "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

**1 John 4:4** **:** "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."

**Psalm 128** : "Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD. The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel."

I was determined to save this precious child of God, to protect her, although as I found out later, only God can protect her. I can do nothing except surrender her to God. The man with whom I was involved was very abusive, very self-centered and controlling, and extremely angry. There were long struggles in the legal system and late night visits to the emergency room and multiple doctors after he would see my daughter. It was just an extremely stressful and fearful period in my daughter's life and my life. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that neither my daughter nor I would have survived if not for the grace of God. Satan was determined to kill us, but God was determined to save us. In John 16:33, Jesus said, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Jesus Christ has overcome the world. He has overcome Satan. Oh, thank You Lord! Praise You Father! You are my Lord, my Savior, and my Redeemer. You are my only Judge and Advocate, and You alone have power over me because I gratefully humble myself before You. I want to spend the rest of my life praising You and drawing closer to You!

God has specifically told me that I am not to spend more time dwelling on the abuse and I am not to describe it in any more detail. This story is not about me; it is about God. It is about giving glory to God because He saved my daughter and me. He saved us from a physically impossible situation and has freed us from all bondage. He has freed us from the curse of the law, from the bondage of fear, from the bondage of death, destruction, and despair, and He has worked a miracle in us. He has created a new life for us. I am so thankful and I feel led to share specifically what I had to overcome spiritually in order to let God work in my daughter's life and my life, so that if you are being held in bondage, you know what you have to do to overcome.

### Chapter 2

### The 6 Steps of Healing

We can do nothing in our own spirit. It is only when we humble ourselves before God and submit ourselves fully and completely to Him, that He takes over and miracles happen. Such a miracle happened to me. In order for God to work the miracle, I had to give the entire situation to Him, surrender it fully and completely, and hold nothing back. Specifically, I had to go through six steps in order for my healing to take place. Some steps took a lot longer than others. I worked on Steps 1 and 2 for years before I was finally able, ready, and willing to move onto Step 3. Once I did focus totally and completely on seeking God and drawing closer to Him, such an amazing spiritual growth occurred within me (more than has previously occurred in my entire life), and God helped me through Steps 4, 5, and 6 in a matter of months.

Step 1: Do Not Fear

Fear is reverence.

Fearing means that you do not trust God to take care of the issue at hand. You do not believe that God will protect you.

Step 2: Do Not Focus on the Evil

Do not focus on the enemy, sickness, disease, problem, or circumstance.

Step 3: Focus on God

Seek God with all your heart. Draw closer to Him spiritually. Read the Bible and pray without ceasing.

Trust God and place your faith in Him and Him alone.

Surrender everything in your life to God.

Forgive others their trespasses.

Step 4: Claim the Promises in the Bible

Claim the promises in the Bible with authority in the name of Jesus. Claim your healing and victory in the name of Jesus.

Step 5: Walk by Faith and Not by Sight

Believe that what God promised, He is also able to perform. Expect victory. Act as though it has already come to pass even if you cannot physically see it.

Step 6: Praise God and Give Him the Glory

Praise God for healing you even before you can physically see the healing. Remember, spiritually, your healing has already occurred when you claim your healing with authority in the name of Jesus Christ.

### Step 1: Do Not Fear

This was the hardest step for me to overcome; Step 2 was a close second, but they really went hand in hand. I feared because I focused on the evil instead of focusing on God. I was as paralyzed by fear as the aptly named character Much-Afraid in the book _Hinds' Feet on High Places_ by Hannah Hurnard. I was utterly wearied and defeated by my problems. Most days, I felt as though I were crouching in the corner with my hands feebly trying to shield my face from the constant, endless assault by the enemy. I felt just as David described in Psalm 55:4-6: "My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me. And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest." I lived in constant fear, tormented by images of my precious daughter being hurt and killed.

I knew that I was afraid and that I should not be afraid. Fear is reverence, and I was reverencing the devil instead of God. I did not want to fear. I was so tired of being afraid all the time. I wanted the peace that passeth all understanding, not fear. I read verse after verse about how we should not fear. I read them over and over again and could not figure out why I could not get rid of the fear. It continued to torment me, night and day.

**2 Timothy 1:7** : "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

**1 John 4:16-18** : "And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."

**Hebrews 13:5-6** : "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me."

**Philippians 4:4-8** : "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

**Isaiah 41:10** : "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

**Psalm 27:1** : "The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 91

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;

Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.

Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;

There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.

They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.

Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.

With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation."

During this time, I prayed that God would take this situation away from me and that it would vanish from my life. I thought that if the physical problems disappeared, that my fear would also disappear. I did not yet realize that the spiritual war had to be won, starting with the battle of conquering my fear, before any physical victory could ever come about.

### Step 2: Do Not Focus on the Evil

After praying to God that this situation would just go away, that my daughter and I could be free from fear and from harm, then my prayers started to focus on beseeching God to deliver us out of the hands of our enemies and to destroy our enemies so that our problems would go away. All my prayers reflected this wrong, self-centered state of mind. Yes, I was concerned for my daughter; I was in fear for her life. But, my prayers were self-centered because I was not focused on God. I was just focused on my daughter, myself, and our horrible situation. I wanted God to protect us, save us, take this burden and fear away from us, yet I was not seeking Him or drawing closer to Him. I still was not concerned with His plans for my daughter's life and my life. I was focused on what I wanted God to do for me. I wanted God to give me everything I wanted, but I was not willing to give everything to God.

I was still focused on the enemy and the evil tormenting us, and I read Scripture such as Psalm 140 asking God to protect us from the evil trying to kill us. When I would take comfort reading these verses, I always considered myself as "the righteous." Just because my enemy was an evil man does not mean that I was righteous; I was far from it. I still was not seeking God other than to ask Him to help my daughter and me. I was not surrendering myself to God. I was fearing evil instead of trusting God and having faith in Him. I was focusing on the evil, on my problems, and on my circumstances instead of focusing on God. I was consumed with my physical problems. My all-consuming fear and the enormity of my physical situation occupied my thoughts continuously.

Psalm 140

"Deliver me, O LORD, from the evil man: preserve me from the violent man;

Which imagine mischiefs in their heart; continually are they gathered together for war.

They have sharpened their tongues like a serpent; adders' poison is under their lips. Selah.

Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; preserve me from the violent man; who have purposed to overthrow my goings.

The proud have hid a snare for me, and cords; they have spread a net by the wayside; they have set gins for me. Selah.

I said unto the LORD, Thou art my God: hear the voice of my supplications, O LORD.

O GOD the Lord, the strength of my salvation, thou hast covered my head in the day of battle.

Grant not, O LORD, the desires of the wicked: further not his wicked device; lest they exalt themselves. Selah.

As for the head of those that compass me about, let the mischief of their own lips cover them.

Let burning coals fall upon them: let them be cast into the fire; into deep pits, that they rise not up again.

Let not an evil speaker be established in the earth: evil shall hunt the violent man to overthrow him.

I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and the right of the poor.

Surely the righteous shall give thanks unto thy name: the upright shall dwell in thy presence."

Psalm 31:9-15

"Have mercy upon me, O LORD, for I am in trouble: mine eye is consumed with grief, yea, my soul and my belly.

For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.

I was a reproach among all mine enemies, but especially among my neighbours, and a fear to mine acquaintance: they that did see me without fled from me.

I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind: I am like a broken vessel.

For I have heard the slander of many: fear was on every side: while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life.

But I trusted in thee, O LORD: I said, Thou art my God.

My times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me."

### Step 3: Focus on God

Seek God with All Your Heart

What you seek, you will find. When you seek God with all your heart, you will find Him and your life will never be the same. A brilliant transformation occurs and you discover that God's love is the only healing power.

I had to be healed spiritually before God allowed my physical situation to be healed, and I'm so thankful that happened because otherwise I would not have been forced to have the intense, rapid spiritual growth that was necessary. The change occurred when I started focusing on God, not to beg Him to help me with my problems, but because I knew that I had to learn more about Him. I had to draw closer to Him because I was slowly discovering that the spiritual is so much more important than the physical. I felt as if I were in a deep pit, albeit one which I had created, and I had tried every possible solution to get out. I had tried to solve my problems in my own spirit and had put my trust in man and had asked man for help, which would be equivalent to me trusting the deep, dark pit that I was in to help me out. I had reached the point wherein I realized that there was nothing more that I could do to save my daughter's life. I had tried everything I could possibly think of. There was also nothing in the physical that could help us. I had knocked on every door I could think of. I had tried everything but GOD.

At the same time I realized that I could do nothing more physically to get out of the situation that I was in, I also came to the realization that all of my physical problems were actually unimportant compared to my spiritual problems. Instead of thinking about my daughter's physical life, I started thinking about her spiritual life and her salvation. What if _I_ managed to save her physical life and she lived a full long life, yet spiritually she was lost? All of my prayers were focused on our physical problems at the neglect of everything spiritual. Also, what if the physical problems were a part of God's will? That was very hard to believe; however, I had never asked God what His will was for my daughter and me. I knew that it could not be His will for my daughter to be hurt or to die, that God is love and He loved my daughter even more than I did and felt even more sorrow than I did at what was happening, but at the same time, I also knew that I had to be willing to lay her on the altar before God just as Abraham did with Isaac. It seemed so impossible the thought of accepting that God's plan could be something that I lived in constant fear of. It was only by the grace of God and the constant ministering of the Holy Spirit that I was finally able to give my daughter up to God. I cried such heavy, sorrowful tears when I thought that God's plan could be for my daughter to be physically separated from me or to leave this earth at such a young age. I asked God in His infinite mercy to not allow such a cruel fate to occur. Yet I also thought, what if God's plan was for us to be physically separated and to perhaps never see each other again and in spite of or perhaps because of the evil surrounding her, my daughter seeks God at a very young age and God is able to use her for His glory? If that is God's plan for her life and that is how she will be saved, then wouldn't it be selfish of me to not want that? But just the thought of her growing up unloved and hurt and mistreated brought fresh tears springing to my eyes. How could that be God's plan? I did not understand it; in fact, I felt as though I did not understand much of anything. I felt so lost, so unsure about what to even pray for, yet I knew that I had to submit myself to God's will. Knowing that I had to do it did not make it any easier, but I finally just forced myself to start praying that only God's will be done. No matter what His will was, I forced myself to bow before God and ask that only His will be done. I surrendered my daughter to Him and asked that His will be done in her life. Oh, it was hard. It was the most difficult thing that I've ever had to do, especially when I would think about every awful scenario I could imagine and wonder how that could be God's plan for her life. Of course, none of the awful scenarios I imagined were a part of God's plan. My human mind cannot even begin to fathom the depths of God's love and mercy or even begin to comprehend His thoughts and desires for my daughter and me.

**Isaiah 55:7-9** : "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

**Jeremiah 29:11-13** : "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."

During this time, I was also aware of a deep yearning in my soul for God. I needed God. I needed Him more than the air I breathed, more than the food I ate and the water I drank. I felt such an urgent, immediate longing to find out more about God, to seek Him with all of my heart, that I started studying the Bible and spending hours in prayer. Since I already realized that there was nothing more I could physically do about my situation, I decided to stop thinking about it and instead just meditate on God's Word. It had been many years since I had read more than a verse or two a week and had actively studied the Bible. I felt ashamed when I realized that I had forgotten most of the Bible verses I had previously known by heart and could barely remember what some of the books of the Bible were about. Determined to seek God with all my heart and to find Him, I read through most of the New Testament and reread the epistles that Paul wrote over and over again. The spiritual truths that I was discovering anew brought me to my knees in thankfulness. When I read the story of Jesus' crucifixion, I cried as though I were reading it for the very first time. Jesus died on the cross for my sins. I had spent years forsaking God, deliberately disobeying Him and fighting Him. He had blessed me and watched over me and protected me and loved me, and in return, I had mocked Him and had lifted myself up in pride and had become conceited and self-centered. Nevertheless, He continued to love me and wanted to help me and heal me if I would only let Him. I could not understand how Jesus could suffer all that humiliation and pain and die for me. How could You love someone, the whole world, so much, that You would die for them after they forsake You and reject You and scorn You and disobey You and even want to kill You again and again? I did not understand it and I knew all too well that I did not deserve it, but I gratefully and humbly accepted the gift of salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Chastised and humbled, with tears of repentance falling from my eyes, I asked Jesus to forgive me all my iniquities and all the evil I had done, and He did. The blood of the Lamb cleansed me from all sin. "...Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing. And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever." (Revelation 5:12-13). Thank You Jesus! Praise You Lord! You are my Savior and my Redeemer and through faith in You, I have salvation. Through faith in You, I have peace with God. Your works are wonderful and mighty. Your Word is good. Through You, I am alive again.

**John 3:16-17** : "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

**John 14:6** : "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

**John 20:31** : "But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name."

**Ephesians 2:8-9** : "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

**1 John 1:5-10** : "This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

**Romans 5:1-8** : "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

**1 Peter 1:3-9** : "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls."

**2 Timothy 3:14-17** : "But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works."

I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in me again, something I had not felt for a long time, and peace slowly started to replace my fears. The devil would send his demons to torment me and to bring me back into my former fearful, trembling state, but I now knew that I could not fear and reverence the devil; I could only fear and reverence God. God was protecting my daughter. Her life was in His hands, and the devil could not touch her; he had no claim to her. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I rebuked all tormenting demons in the name of Jesus. I rebuked the spirit of fear in the name of Jesus. I rebuked all generational curses and everything holding us in bondage in the name of Jesus. I claimed my daughter's life for Christ. I claimed her salvation in the name of Jesus. I asked God to fill us with His Spirit and asked for His divine protection and divine healing. I thanked Him for His mercy and His love, for I now realized that my daughter and I would have been dead a long time ago if not for Jesus protecting us. Every time the demons would try to torment me and to make me fear and turn from God, I would rebuke them in the name of Jesus. I cried out to Jesus and asked Him to come to my aid—and He did. He drove the demons away. In my own spirit I can do nothing, but "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13). I have noticed that as time goes on and I continue to draw closer to God and spend more time in prayer and constant communion with Him, the attacks by the devil become less and less frequent. The devil has no power and no control over my daughter or me. I am no longer in bondage to fear. My daughter is no longer in bondage to fear. Jesus has saved us from all bondage. You have set the captives free. Hallelujah! Praise You Jesus! Praise You Lord!

Even though it was so incredibly difficult and seemingly impossible while I was in the middle of this spiritual warfare, I am now so thankful for everything that has happened to me that caused me to cry out to God for deliverance and that forced me to realize that in my own spirit I can do nothing. I became acutely aware of this fact one day when I was in court. The laws where I live are very anti-children, anti-family, and anti-Christ. As a young Christian mother trying to save her child from abuse, I was the symbol of all that which they wanted to eradicate. Up until this point, I had been trying to work with the laws of the country, to try to somehow make it work to my advantage since I knew that I was in the right. I extensively researched laws, statutes, previous court cases, detailed statistics and facts, medical records, etc. It did not matter how much evidence I had, it was disregarded. "Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?" (1 Corinthians 6:1). "But avoid foolish questions, and genealogies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain." (Titus 3:9). That day in court, I was acutely aware that in the eyes of the law, my daughter and I were dead already. I could do nothing. God was my only defense and my only advocate. God was all I had. As soon as that thought struck my mind, God gently whispered to me, "I am all you've ever had. It took all of this to make you realize that." That simple truth spoken in such a gentle, loving, patient, Fatherly voice sent shock waves through my body and soul. The realization of my full dependence on God and yet another example of His lovingkindness and mercy and patience to all of us who are so unworthy of His love, humbled me yet again. I was still glorifying myself and trying to solve my problems all by myself instead of surrendering them to God. I was adamantly trying to solve problems in my own spirit, in the physical, instead of acknowledging that only God can save me. I would never want to be the person I was before, and I am so thankful that I am a new creature in Christ.

**Matthew 6:31-34** : "Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. **But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.** Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

I cannot exclaim enough about how true the above verses are. They are true! If you seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and that is the fervent desire of your heart, the most important aspect of your life, the center of your world, then not only are you spiritually renewed and born again, but all of your physical problems are also taken care of. God will heal everything! Jesus is commanding us to not focus on circumstances, problems, or anything else in the physical world, but to only focus on God, and He will take care of us. I know that it seems almost impossible to do this. You have a problem that is so big and perhaps impossible to overcome physically. You are fearful and worry about this problem all the time. This problem consumes you. How can you not think about this problem? How can you "forget" about this problem and focus solely on God? It does not make any sense until you start actively following those verses and seek the kingdom of God above all else. God's love will flood your soul, restore your spirit, and renew your mind. The more you read the Bible, pray, and openly communicate with your Father, the more you want to keep on doing it. That is all that matters. Your physical problems do not seem as important. In fact, the more you focus on God, the physical problems that used to consume your every thought seem less and less important until they hardly seem to matter at all. You are just focused on seeking God and drawing closer to Him. You feel like a person who was dying of thirst in the desert—and suddenly—you discover the fountain of living waters. Each day you study God's Word reveals more and more magnificent truths and evidence of His everlasting love and mercy. You read verses that you have read all your life, but never understood or thought you understood, yet suddenly you see the truth. You understand exactly what that verse means. The Holy Spirit is continually ministering to you and revealing wonderful truths that you could never have imagined. You want to know more and more. While this is going on and God is healing your spirit, He will also heal you physically. He will heal every aspect of your life.

Trust God

In order for God to heal your life, you must place all of your trust in Him. Do not trust in the physical. Do not trust in man and man's creations. Place all of your trust in God. Jeremiah 17:5,7: "Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is."

You may be in a situation in which it is impossible for you to survive in the physical, but God can heal any situation. I repeat, even if you are in a situation in which it is 100% absolutely physically impossible for you to survive this situation, God can heal you. It does not matter whether you have a late-stage terminal illness with no cure and no hope, or you have a payment due on your credit card, mortgage, or student loans and you have $0 in your bank account and it is absolutely impossible for you to attain the money, or you are in a lengthy court battle in which it is physically and legally impossible for you to win. It does not matter if rationally, physically, and scientifically, it is absolutely impossible for you to win or for you to survive. You are dead. You are broke. You are a failure. It does not matter how bad your situation is; there is no situation that God cannot heal. All things are possible with God. Remember, what is impossible with man is possible with God. Matthew 19:26: "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." God created you. He created the world and everything in it. He is the only one who can heal you. Trust in God and have faith in Him. He loves you and wants to heal you, but you have to trust Him and Him alone.

**Proverbs 3:5-6** : "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

**Isaiah 26:4** : "Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:"

Psalm 146

"Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD O my soul.

While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.

Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.

His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish.

Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God:

Which made heaven, and earth, the sea, and all that therein is: which keepeth truth for ever:

Which executeth judgment for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry. The LORD looseth the prisoners:

The LORD openeth the eyes of the blind: the LORD raiseth them that are bowed down: the LORD loveth the righteous:

The LORD preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and widow: but the way of the wicked he turneth upside down.

The LORD shall reign for ever, even thy God, O Zion, unto all generations. Praise ye the LORD."

**Isaiah 43:1-3** : "But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the LORD thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Saviour: I gave Egypt for thy ransom, Ethiopia and Seba for thee."

If you think that your situation is physically impossible to heal, think about all of the physically impossible situations that God healed in Biblical times. Think about Daniel and how God sent His angel to shut the lions' mouths and he was not hurt at all "because he believed in his God" (Daniel 6:23). It was physically impossible for anybody thrown into the den of lions to survive. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. As soon as Daniel was thrown into the den of lions, into the pit full of massive, famished, carnivorous beasts, he would have been attacked, killed, and eaten immediately. It was 100% absolutely physically impossible for Daniel to survive, but survive he did because the physical does not limit God. Daniel trusted God, and God sent His angel to protect Daniel and there was nothing that would have been allowed to touch him. He was protected by God and that is the only protection that matters. As humans, we are so limited in our thinking and have such narrow tunnel vision that we just focus on the physical, on the here and now. It is so hard to look beyond the physical and instead focus on the spiritual realm. It truly takes a miracle for us to overcome.

Surrender Everything to God

**Philippians 2:12-13** : "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure."

**2 Corinthians 5:10** : "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad."

John 15:1-11

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman.

Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit.

Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.

Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."

Our life on this earth is our time under grace. The purpose of every person's life on this earth is to work out their salvation. God commands us to surrender everything in our life to Him and to lay everything on the altar before Him so that nothing can be held against us on the Day of Judgment. Our final goal is to be one with the Father through Christ Jesus. ( _Updated Note_ _: The Holy Spirit has been leading me to clarify this statement so that there is no confusion for the children of God. We were created to glorify and worship God. In heaven, we will worship God continually. We need to surrender every area of our lives to God so that there is nothing separating us from God, and we can finally be the people that God created us to be and has called us to be, but we will NEVER be like God or be gods. That was Satan's lie to Eve in the Garden of Eden that "_ _ye shall be as gods." (Genesis 3:5). We do not want, nay, we cannot have, sin separating us from God (Thank You, Jesus, for dying on the cross for our sins!), but we will NEVER be like God. There is a definite hierarchy in heaven. God is above all. Jesus Christ is at the right hand of the throne of God and He is also One with God. 1 Corinthians 8:6: "_ _But to us there is but_ _one_ _God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and_ _one_ _Lord_ _Jesus_ _Christ_ _, by whom are all things, and we by him."_ _John 17:21: "That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me."_ _)_ That means that there is nothing we have not given up to God; thus, there is nothing separating us from God. With that thought, everything we think and desire, everything we do and say, is either for God or against God. It is good or evil. There is no gray lukewarm middle. A lot of the innocent pleasures we indulge in are actually huge distractions that are keeping us from focusing on God. After a busy, work-filled day, I used to enjoy watching TV for a few hours to relax. Well actually, I _had_ to watch TV every day. It was a comfort to me, and I probably watched TV for 2-3 hours every day. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong in and of itself with watching TV; however, I was not spending enough time reading the Bible and praying to God because I did not have any extra time to do so. Well, God created 24 hours in the day and that is the perfect amount of time to do everything we need to do; we just have to get rid of the distractions and mindless activities that are filling up our time and concentrate on the things that really matter.

Think about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: They refused to bow down and worship the golden image that King Nebuchadnezzar had made, and he was so incensed that he threatened that if they did not worship the image that "ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?" (Daniel 3:15). In Daniel 3:16-18, "Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king, O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up." Can you imagine having that faith and absolute trust in God?! They were looking at a burning fiery furnace that was so hot that if anyone got too close to it, they were instantly killed. They knew that they would be thrown into that furnace and instead of being afraid and being limited by the physical impossibility of them surviving (because it was 100% absolutely physically impossible for them to survive), they trusted God with all of their hearts and had such faith in His power and His love that they knew that He could and would save them. They knew that God could save them and they sincerely believed that He would, but even if God chose not to save them, they still would not worship the golden image. They had surrendered their lives fully and completely to God. They knew God's power and had faith in His ability to save them, but if it was God's plan for them to perish in the burning fiery furnace, then they submitted themselves fully and completely to God's will. King Nebuchadnezzar did have them thrown into the fiery furnace, and God protected them. They were not burned or hurt at all. When they came out of the furnace, King Nebuchadnezzar said in Daniel 3:28, "Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who hath sent his angel, and delivered his servants that trusted in him, and have changed the king's word, and yielded their bodies, that they might not serve nor worship any god, except their own God."

The story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego is an exceptional testimony of having complete faith in God and fully surrendering your life to Him. It is exactly what God expects and demands from each of us. Our time on this earth, our time under grace, is the time that God has given us to work out our salvation and an essential part of this is surrendering our lives to God and holding nothing back. We know that God commands us to not bow down and worship any idols. In Exodus 20:3, God commands that "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." In Micah 5:13, God says that "Thy graven images also will I cut off, and thy standing images out of the midst of thee; and thou shalt no more worship the work of thine hands." However, an idol is not limited to a pagan statue that we physically bow down and worship. Anything that we refuse to give to God is an idol in our hearts. An idol is anything that has priority over God and anything that takes our attention away from God. My schoolwork became an idol to me. It was more important to me than anything else in my life, including God. Common idols include money, careers, shopping, and relationships, but anything, even something that is good and rightfully important to you, such as your beautiful, precious children, can become idols if you are not willing to give them up to God. Anything that we are not willing to place on the altar before God is an idol in our hearts and will be cut down. God convicted me that I could not place my daughter before Him. I had to spiritually place her life on the altar before God and relinquish my hold on her fully and completely so that God could have her. I praise You Lord that I had to do this! You are such a loving Father. The only way that she is protected is by being held in Your loving arms. You are God.

In order for you to be healed, you have to surrender that part of your life that needs healing to God. You have to surrender it fully and completely to Him and hold nothing back. You have to relinquish it to Him so that He has the situation. Take the burden from your shoulders and give it up to God. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus lovingly tells us to "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Forgive Others Their Trespasses

As Christians, whenever we find anything separating us from God (also known as sin), we have to immediately repent of it, give it up to God, and ask God to fill that part of our soul with His virtue, with His Spirit. If we realize that we are entertaining pride, anger, fear, bitterness, resentment, self-pity, or anything else that is not of God, then we must immediately repent of it and give it up to God. In order for my healing to occur, I had to repent of all lingering fear, anger, bitterness, resentment, and hatred toward my enemy, relinquish it to God, and ask Him to fill me with His love and His forgiveness. Jesus commanded us to forgive; otherwise, our Heavenly Father cannot forgive us. Matthew 6:14-15: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Now, I understood this in theory, such as for minor offenses with family members and friends, but I never understood how God expected us to forgive everyone, no matter what they have done. How could a Jew (or anybody else) forgive an evil man like Hitler who had murdered millions of Jews in concentration camps and tried to kill all of God's chosen people? How could a mother forgive the man who had cruelly injured and tried to kill her child? How could Stephen, "a man full of faith and of the Holy Ghost," (Acts 6:5) when he was being stoned by the mob for proclaiming the gospel of Christ, cry out before he died, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge" (Acts 7:60)? How was such forgiveness possible? I did not understand it, and I decided that total forgiveness was one commandment I could not abide by. It is not natural, right, or good to forgive such evil. However, in the past few months, the Holy Spirit has been quietly witnessing to me about many truths, including how it is possible to forgive someone who has done evil towards you. My eyes have been opened and I long to share the truth of forgiveness with you.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with us saying that this person's behavior is okay or justifiable. Forgiveness is all about surrendering this person to God. Surrendering our thoughts, desires, and actions toward this person to God and asking Him to fill us with His thoughts, desires, and actions toward this person. Surrendering our bitterness, resentment, anger, fear, and desire for revenge to God and asking Him to fill us with His love for this person. But, how can God expect us to love this evil person? How can we follow what Jesus commanded in Matthew 5:44: "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you"? A simple truth that the Holy Spirit imparted to me made me realize how it is possible. He showed me Satan's desire for my enemy. Satan wants this person to destroy himself, to destroy everyone around him, and to destroy as much of God's creation as possible. After Satan has used him, he wants this person to commit suicide or to die another way while still being possessed with the evil demons within him so that Satan can have him for all eternity. Satan does not want this person to ever desire to be rid of the demons that he is entertaining, to ever repent of any of his evil deeds, to ever desire or seek after God, and he definitely does not want him to be saved. If I entertain negative desires for this person, then my desires are the desires of Satan, not God. How can I, as a follower of Christ, as a child of the Most High God, desire evil for this person? If I do that, I have separated myself from God. He cannot work in me until I surrender this to Him. God wants all of us to be saved. He wants to free us from all bondage. Asking God to fill me with His love means that I have to pray for this person's salvation. I know all too well that this person is possessed by evil spirits and that he desires to do evil. I never want to see him again and indeed God has mercifully given me the peace and the absolute conviction that my daughter and I will never see him again. We are free. This entire situation is healed fully and completely, never to return. What God heals stays healed. But, God has also given me the firm conviction and the desire (something that would never be possible without God's healing love flowing through me) to pray for this person and to ask God that this person repent of all the evil he has done, all the people he has hurt and tried to destroy, before it is too late. In the book _The Hiding Place_ , Corrie ten Boom's sister, Betsie, prayed for the Germans when they were in the Nazi concentration camp. I understand how close to God's heart she must have been. I used to empathize with Corrie who entertained hatred toward the evil Nazis rather than her sister who prayed for them, loved them, and wanted to help them. Corrie surrendered her hatred to God and asked Him to fill her with His forgiveness and He did. God did the same for me, and He will do the same for you.

Another truth that the Holy Spirit imparted to me is that _we_ cannot forgive. It is just not possible. We cannot reach deep down inside of us and procure forgiveness. We do not have it in us. _We_ are not able to forgive. We must ask God to fill us with _His_ forgiveness. We can do nothing in our own spirit. Without God, we can do nothing. With God, we can do everything. What a relief! All we have to do is humble ourselves before God in obedience to His will and let His Spirit flow through us and work in us. The first time you surrender all your pride, bow your knee, and prostrate yourself before God, it is hard. But it gets easier and easier until that is your fervent desire—to do nothing in your own spirit, to humble yourself and surrender yourself to God, so that He can use you for His glory. It is not me writing these words. The Holy Spirit is telling me what to write.

The Holy Spirit has also convicted me of rejoicing when "thine enemy falleth." After I started seeking God and trusting in Him, I noticed that things started to go in my favor. God was blessing my life. Once, something happened that was severely in my enemy's disfavor and in my favor, and I gleefully rejoiced that finally things were starting to turn against him. The Holy Spirit immediately convicted me. When I rejoiced because my enemy was stumbling and falling, I was entertaining the spirit of pride. It was pride that was rejoicing at me winning and him failing. I also was not giving God the glory. I immediately repented, rebuked the pride and my feeling of triumph over the enemy, and I gave God the glory. I learned to praise God for saving me, but to not rejoice when bad things happen to evil people because it saddens God when people chose evil and they are cursed instead of blessed as a result of it. Also, it is very important to not give pride any foothold in your heart and soul. Focus on God and Him alone. Focus on Him saving you, and praise and glorify Him accordingly.

**Luke 10:19-20** : "Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you. Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven."

**Proverbs 24:17-18** : "Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him."

### Step 4: Claim the Promises in the Bible

God wants us to take Him at His Word and to claim the promises in the Bible. He wants us to walk boldly into the throne room of grace and to remind God of His promises and to claim them in the name of Jesus. Hebrews 4:12-16 says, "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."

God's Word is powerful. It is sharper than any sword, and it always pierces the enemy. It is our greatest weapon—it is the only weapon that a Christian needs and it is effective! When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness, Jesus quoted the Word of God to rebuke Satan. Every single time that Jesus responded to Satan's temptations, Jesus started by saying, "It is written," and then He quoted a specific passage of God's Word. When we are being attacked by the enemy, we need to use the Word of God to rebuke and defeat Satan. It is absolutely critical for every Christian to actively study and meditate on God's Word each and every day. Just as a doctor in the Old West would have an emergency bag filled with essential medical instruments that he could take anywhere at a moment's notice, we need to have a mental emergency bag filled with memorized Bible verses ready to use immediately when we are being attacked by the devil. I cannot even begin to describe how much more effective we are fighting spiritual battles when we have God's Word at the ready. It is exactly like having the most powerful weapon in the world ready for whenever the enemy tries to attack us.

**Ephesians 6:10-18** : "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and **the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God** : Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;"

As I am working throughout the day, passages of Scripture will come to my remembrance that (depending on the situation which I am in) comfort me, motivate me, remind me to praise and glorify God, humble me, and cause me to seek God more and more. Peter described it perfectly in 1 Peter 2:2-3 when he said, "As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby: If so be ye have tasted that the Lord is gracious." Reading the Bible and praying are absolutely essential for a Christian's growth in Christ. God's Word will guide you and give you the answers in every situation, as David said in Psalm 119:105, "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." It illuminates the path of life and makes everything clear. It is strong; it is powerful, and it will stand forever.

**Isaiah 40:8** : "The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever."

Claim the promises in the Bible with the authority of the Holy Spirit in the name of Jesus! During my spiritual battles, I claimed the promise of Isaiah 54:17, which says, "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD." I claimed that promise in the name of Jesus and no weapon formed against me has ever prospered since that day. Praise be to God, the Lord Almighty, who protects me in my hour of need! I also claimed the promise of Isaiah 54:13, which says, "And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children." The entire chapter of Isaiah 54 is a comforting chapter full of promises for us to claim. As I read throughout the Bible and find a new promise, I claim it in the name of Jesus. I may claim it for myself, for my daughter, for another family member, for someone else I know, or even for a specific country. We are meant to take God at His Word and to claim His promises and to speak them forth in the name of Jesus.

I claimed the full and complete healing, spiritually and physically, of this entire situation that my daughter and I were in. I spoke forth our healing in the name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Ghost and by the measure of faith that God gave unto me. God heard me. Early one morning, I was earnestly praying to God when all of a sudden, I heard a voice (not with my ears, but within my spirit, in my soul) say, " **It is healed** ," and a great peace flooded my soul. God had spoken to me, and He had told me that our entire situation with all of the physically impossible problems was already healed. I praised God with my whole being. I thanked Him over and over again. What a miracle of miracles! Hallelujah!

While I believed God and thanked Him for the healing, I wanted to wait for the full physical manifestation of my healing before moving on with life. I waited and waited for a physical sign to occur, for me to have an official written document proving that my daughter and I were really free from this man, so that I would definitely know that the situation was healed. God was not pleased with that, and a few weeks later, He started giving me specific commands on how I was to walk by faith and not by sight.

### Step 5: Walk by Faith and Not by Sight

**2 Corinthians 5:7** : "(For we walk by faith, not by sight:)"

**Mark 11:24** : "Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

For anyone who thinks that God does not answer our petitions or that His answers are unclear, you are not really listening to what God is saying. God's instructions are very clear and very specific. There is no room for debate. God has been commanding me to walk by faith and live victoriously in Christ, believing every promise in the Bible. I always had a mental list of things that I would do the very instant that my situation and all of the legal and physical problems associated with it were 100% completely resolved and healed. I mean, the second that I had an official paper in my hand proving that this situation was resolved, I had a detailed list of things that I was going to do. Well, every single thing that I was going to do as soon as my situation was healed, God is commanding me to do right now. He has told me that "It is healed" and He has made it very clear that I have to trust Him and step out in faith, truly believing that as soon as He uttered those words, He healed it fully and completely, no ifs, ands, or buts. He in turn is healing every part of my life.

God is a God of mercy and love. He wants to protect us and He desires to help us with every problem that we have. Jesus said in Matthew 23:37, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!" God is slow to anger, but He does get angry and when He does, things happen. Obey His commandments! Obey Him every time He tells you to do something, even if it doesn't make sense to you. We do not need to know the how or why, we just need to submit ourselves to God, humble ourselves in obedience to His will, and obey Him. God has been very gentle, patient, and loving with me while He has been telling me specifically how He wants me to walk out in faith, but after my excessive doubting and lack of faith because His commands were not physically rational, He suddenly made it very clear to me that there would be severe consequences if I did not obey Him. I therefore hearkened to His voice and obeyed Him because when He warns me like that, I have to obey. 1 Samuel 15:22: "And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams."

God has been teaching me that if I am to be clay in the potter's hand, a vessel that God can mold to use for His glory, then I have to walk in complete obedience to His Word. What He commands, I must obey and do. He admonished me that I was waiting for a physical sign rather than believing His Word. I had claimed my healing, but I was not accepting my healing. I was not taking God at His Word. A good example of this would be if a man had cancer and he claimed his healing in the name of Jesus, and God told him that He had healed the cancer, yet the man does not believe God because the doctors say that he still has cancer and that it is incurable, so he cannot be healed. Are we to believe God or man? Are we to believe the physical or the Almighty God, the Creator of the universe and everything spiritual and physical in it, who can create and destroy what He chooses, who can raise up and bring down, who can suspend the laws of gravity because He created gravity? The answer is obvious and simple and so easy, yet at the same time, this was very hard for me. God told me that I had to step out in faith and act as though His promise had already occurred, for in the spiritual it had, and with God, everything begins with the spiritual. But, I was still focused on the physical. Physically and legally, nothing had changed with our situation, so how could I just act as though it had? I did not want to do what God was commanding me to do. It did not make sense to me, and I wanted to wait for the full physical healing to occur.

For many months, God has been preparing me to share my testimony with specific people whom He will place on my path. He showed me that when my healing occurred (this was before He told me that "It is healed"), it was my duty to share how God had transformed and healed my life. When God was working on healing my soul and bringing me back to Him, reading other people's testimonies of how God had healed them spiritually and physically really helped me learn to trust God more and to see how it was possible for Him to also heal my daughter and me. In just the same way, God informed me that my testimony would help other people facing situations in which they needed healing. A few weeks after He told me that "It is healed," but before the physical healing had occurred, God told me to schedule an appointment with a doctor who was a Christian and had greatly desired that my daughter be protected from the enemy trying to harm her. God specifically informed me that the purpose of this appointment would be to share my testimony and to bring Him glory. God also gave me a specific time frame when He wanted this meeting to take place. I did not want to do this, and I fought God on this. It did not make sense. Sure, God had told me that the spiritual healing had occurred; however, it had not happened physically. Physically, everything looked the same. What if I scheduled the meeting and a week or so later when it was time for the meeting, the situation still wasn't physically healed? I would look so foolish. I began to doubt that I was really hearing God's voice. I had always imagined that when God spoke to you, it would be as dramatic as lightning and thunder from heaven: a deep booming voice from the sky that was absolutely, unmistakably God. I was not even hearing a voice with my ears. It was a voice, but a voice I was hearing within my soul, not with my physical body. After a little back and forth, I knew that I could not doubt that I had heard God's voice. It was as though my soul recognized Him and knew instinctively that _this was God_. I knew that it was God who had spoken. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had heard Him say, "It is healed," and I had heard Him give me very specific instructions about scheduling a meeting with this doctor. Even though I no longer doubted that it was God instructing me, I still did not want to follow His instructions for fear of physical embarrassment. I spent many days in prayer, just pouring out my soul to God. I was complaining and doubting and lacking faith, and God was a patient Father, but He was also very, very firm that I had to trust Him and obey Him. Below is one of the conversations (not word for word) that I had with God:

_Me_ _: I don't want to do this, God. It doesn't make sense. This situation is not physically healed. I want to wait until it is physically healed, and then I would be more than happy to share my testimony._

_God_ _:_ _You have been waiting until your situation is healed to share your testimony with this doctor, correct?_

_Me_ _: Yes. I feel led to share my testimony with this doctor. You have led me to share my testimony with him, and I really want to, and I will, but after the physical healing takes place._

_God_ _: I have told you, "It is healed."_

_Me_ _: I know that it's healed spiritually, Lord. I do trust You on that. I believe You. But, what if the physical healing doesn't take place in the manner that I think it will or before I meet with this doctor? He'll think that I'm imagining things and I'll be embarrassed because I don't have proof of the healing._

_God_ _:_ _I have told you, "_ _It_ _is_ _healed_ _._ _"_

After communing in my soul with the Lord for some more hours, I began to realize that I cannot say that I believe what God has told me, yet be afraid to act on that promise of healing. If I am too afraid to act as though the healing has taken place, to walk by faith and not by sight, then I truly do not believe God when He says, "It is healed." If I do not trust God, and I do not believe what He is telling me, then I am in effect calling Him a liar. My whole being bristled at that idea. I would never call God a liar. He cannot lie. I believe God. I trust Him. Yet the more the Holy Spirit witnessed to me, the stronger I realized that that is exactly what I am doing. If I am not willing to step out in faith and act on God's promises, then I am doubting His Word, which means that I do not believe that He will truly fulfill His promises—and I am calling Him a liar. The Holy Spirit also brought to my remembrance that I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and that I trust Him with my spiritual life for all eternity. I know that I have sinned and that the wages of sin is death and that I deserve to die, but God, in His infinite mercy and grace and true love, sent His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins. Jesus, who had no sin, died for the sins of the whole world, and when we accept Jesus as our Savior and ask Him to cleanse us of all iniquity, our sins are washed clean by the blood of the Lamb. We are born again. I trust that when I die, I will see Him that same day in paradise. I believe that with all my heart and soul even though I cannot physically see it and have no physical proof. All I have is the faith that God has given me to trust Him fully and completely with my eternal salvation. However, while I am saying that I trust God with my eternal life, I am also saying that I do not trust Him with a physical matter that, though it is so huge and important now, is truly insignificant compared to salvation and my eternal life. How can I trust and have faith that God has my spiritual life in His hands for all eternity, but not the physical? It does not make sense at all. That was such an eye-opener for me, and I had to humble myself before God and ask for His forgiveness for my unbelief and lack of faith. I called the doctor and scheduled a visit with him and trusted that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Remember what Isaiah 55:11 says, "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." When God speaks, creation happens. God said, "let there be light," and there was light. When God says, "It is healed," then that healing occurs in that exact moment. It is healed. God is a spirit and everything happens spiritually first of all and then manifests itself physically. It is healed spiritually, but I have to claim that promise. I have to actively claim that healing and accept that healing and then praise and glorify God that that healing has already occurred, even though I cannot physically see it, and I have to truly believe and act as though it has already taken place, and it will manifest itself physically. Something that is as simple as having the pure faith of a child to believe God at His Word is still so hard for me to do. My rational and intellectual and very physical mind and body keep on rebelling at spiritual truths. I have to constantly surrender parts of myself to God: my fear, my lack of faith, my pride, my physical body and the lusts thereof—and really, that is the whole purpose of my life here on earth, to surrender each and every part of myself to God until I have given all to Him. I am so grateful for God's grace, for Him blessing me with this life and giving me the time that I need to complete my salvation, and for Him being such a loving, patient Father tenderly teaching me and being with me the whole way. I thank Him every time the Holy Spirit admonishes me and convicts me. I ask Him to "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24).

After I scheduled the meeting with the doctor, a great, wonderful peace filled my soul and I knew that God was pleased with my obedience. What a joy to finally obey God! What a glorious peace! I also witnessed that my testimony would help this doctor with something that he was facing or struggling with at that moment. God did not give me any more information than that; nonetheless, I felt at peace and happy knowing that my obeying God and sharing my testimony would help this doctor spiritually. It truly is amazing what happens when we finally obey God. When the day of the meeting came, I still did not have a physical sign or proof of the healing, but that did not matter to me anymore. Actually, it has not mattered since then. I am not just acting as though my full healing has occurred so that I can finally have the official physical proof. I do not need physical proof. I know that "It is healed." I know it in my heart and soul. I do not need physical proof when I have the Word of God. While waiting for the meeting, I asked God to put the words in my mouth and to tell me what to say to this doctor and to guide me all the way. When the doctor came in, the words bubbled joyfully to my mouth, "I have a praise report to share with you!" God then led me to share that my healing had occurred as a result of my not fearing and focusing on the evil, but instead focusing on God and seeking Him with all my heart and soul. I testified that there is power in prayer. There is such power in praying to God. I was led specifically to share the verse "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" and to tell the doctor that that verse is true! If you seek God and His righteousness, then God will supply all of your needs and heal all of your problems. I gave God the glory. Only with God was such a healing possible. He can heal anything and everything if we bring it to Him in prayer and release it up to Him. I still do not know what that doctor was struggling with or if it was actually something a family member or friend or co-worker was struggling with, but I do know that I obeyed God, and I feel at peace knowing that my testimony was blessed. God demands complete obedience, and He will bless us for trusting in Him.

Soon after God commanded me to schedule the meeting with the doctor, He told me that I needed to write this book. By this time, I was not going to question God or defy Him. I obeyed and started writing my testimony. Every morning, I ask that God put the words in my mouth and that He guide my hand so that it is Him writing and not me. Normally, I am only able to write for an hour or two each day because with a happy, healthy, energetic, and inquisitive daughter, there is not much free time in the day; however, God is supplying the time that I need. He has also given me a sense of urgency and has told me that any free time I have, I need to spend writing this. For several weeks, I obeyed God and diligently listened to what He was telling me to write and spent as much time as I could working on this book, but then I reasoned that I had worked hard enough and I needed a break, so I started to watch movies in the evening to relax. The Holy Spirit then convicted me that I have to obey God and I will be blessed for it. God has told me to write this book and that while I am writing this book, I should not be watching movies, spending hours on the internet, reading books for pleasure, or going out shopping. I have to focus on this. After this book is finished, then He's fine with me going back to my normal relaxing activities as long as they are not placed before Him. Truly, I am blessed and thankful that my testimony will be used for the glory of God. I think that God must have a powerful purpose for this book because the devil is working hard on attacking me with doubt and discouragement so that I give up writing my testimony. A few days ago, I gave into the doubt and discouragement, and I did not feel at peace the entire day. I thought, what am I doing writing my story? Nobody is going to read it. This is not going to help anybody. People will just laugh at it or scorn me. I get frustrated and impatient, and I continually have to ask God to fill me with His patience. Why would God pick somebody like me to write a book to glorify Him? I am so unworthy. I am the least of His children. He needs to pick a righteous, virtuous woman who is so close to God that she never gets angry or frustrated or impatient and has not made the horrible mistakes that I have made. Why did God pick me to write this? Why me? I felt very discouraged and did not know what to do, so I turned to God. I read the Bible, and God's Word nourished me. I prayed and God's peace filled my soul. I do not know specifically why God wants this book written or what He will do with it once it is done, but I do not need to know. God told me to write my testimony to be used for His glory, and I must obey. All I desire to do with my life is to obey God, glorify Him, and draw closer to Him. I need Him. I am unworthy, but He is worthy. This book is not about me; it is about God. To God alone be the glory and the honor and the praise. Amen.

**Hebrews 11:1** : "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

**Hebrews 11:6** : "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."

**James 1:22-25** : "But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed."

**James 2:26** : "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."

**Romans 4:19-22** : "And being not weak in faith, he considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform. And therefore it was imputed to him for righteousness."

**Romans 8:24-25** : "For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for? But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

### Step 6: Praise God and Give Him the Glory

God has healed me! He has healed my daughter! He has saved us from darkness and brought us into His glorious light! Hallelujah! Praise You Lord! Only You could have healed this physically and legally impossible situation. Only You could have healed my soul. Only You could have saved my daughter from death. To You be the glory and You alone.

Praise God! Praise Him every day! Begin your day praising Him and end it praising Him! Give thanks in all circumstances. If you do not make use of the good times to draw closer to God, then something will probably happen to cause you to cry out to God. This is a harder road and I had to travel it, but I am so thankful God in His mercy did that rather than let me live out my life in sin, separated from Him.

If you are in need of healing and have claimed your healing in the name of Jesus and are walking by faith and not by sight, truly believing that God has already healed you, then thank God for healing you. Praise Him! Do not wait for a physical sign. Praise Him right now. As soon as you claim your healing, praise Him and thank Him that your healing has already come to pass. God is worthy to be praised.

When you are healed, give God the glory for healing you. Do not give the glory to man or anything physical. Only God can heal and only He deserves the glory.

After God miraculously healed all of my problems and taught me to walk by faith, my soul was overflowing with praise and thankfulness to my Lord. For many days, I spent every waking moment reading the Bible, praying, writing my testimony, and praising God the whole day long. Those were wonderful days. After a few more days, my healing seemed almost normal and taken for granted. I spent less time praying to God and praising Him and more time going back to my normal activities. Even after God healed the largest problem that I've ever faced, a physically impossible situation to be healed from, I had to start reminding myself to thank Him every day! I am just continually reminded that in my own spirit I am self-centered, unthankful, and unworthy. I need God. I need Him every day. I need His Spirit to work through me and in me. I am actually starting to become thankful every time I realize that I am weak, but God is strong. I can do nothing, but God can do everything. I just need God working through me all the time. For the first time, I understand what Paul meant when he said that "when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

If I go one day, just one day, without having some quality prayer time with God, my soul feels so lost, so lacking in purpose, and so empty. I have to be renewed with God's Spirit each and every day. I have to read God's Word each and every day. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship that we will ever have. It truly is THE relationship. All of our time, energy, and passion should be devoted to growing and nurturing our relationship with God. This relationship is more important than our relationship with our father, mother, husband, wife, child, friend, and anyone else on this earth. How many wives would go one day or multiple days or weeks without speaking to their husband? How many mothers would go one day without speaking to their young children? Yet, we go days without speaking to our Lord, our Heavenly Father, our bridegroom in Christ. I sometimes have to force myself to start off the day with Bible reading and prayer time. It does not matter if I need to wake up before my daughter so that I can have some quiet time; God will supply me with additional energy throughout the day if I am devoting myself to Him. If I am feeling tired, sad, or discouraged, and I do not even know what to pray for, I start my prayer time by praising God: praising Him for who He is and all that He has done in my life, and blessing His Holy Name for His lovingkindness, for His mercy, and for His everlasting love. I start by thanking Him for all of the blessings that He has bestowed upon my daughter's life and my life and for the divine protection that He has granted us. Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised. When I praise God, my soul is rejuvenated, and all feelings of sadness, discouragement, and tiredness are washed away by the healing power of God's love. God is protecting me, and He "shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19). During one of my daily Bible readings, I came upon Romans 8:26, which says, "Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered." Wow! If I do not know what to pray for, then the Holy Spirit will intercede and help guide me in my prayers to the Father. God is always with us: leading us, guiding us, and directing us in everything. We never have to rely on ourselves and in fact we shouldn't; all we have to do is lean on God, and He will supply our every need. God has also taught me that during prayer time, there are moments when I need to be quiet and listen to Him. I need to ask God to instruct me and tell me what He wants me to do, and then I need to remove all distractions and be still and listen to Him.

**Psalm 63:1-5** : "O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:"

**Psalm 103:1-4** : "Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;"

### Chapter 3

### God Wants to Heal You Too!

**With God all things are possible. God can heal any situation, any problem, any sickness, and any disease.** Matthew 19:26: "But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."

There is no disease, no sickness, no problem, and no circumstance that cannot be overcome by the healing power of God's love. God wants to heal you! He wants you to be made whole. Call on Him. Cry out to Him. Trust in Him. Have faith. God hears you, and He will help you more than you can ever imagine. When I am in the depths of despair or under a ruthless attack by the enemy and I cry, "Lord, come to my aid quickly! I need you," He always does. He protects me, sustains me, and completes me.

**Psalm 30:2** : "O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me."

**Psalm 37:39-40** : "But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble. And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."

**Jeremiah 17:14** : "Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise."

**Isaiah 61:1-3** : "The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified."

**2 Chronicles 7:14** : "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

**Matthew 10:1** : "And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease."

**Luke 17:15** : "And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,"

**Acts 10:38** : "How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him."

**James 5:13-16** : "Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms. Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

Pray without ceasing. There is power in prayer. There is power in rebuking sickness and disease, in rebuking problems, in rebuking demons and unclean spirits, in rebuking Satan in the name of Jesus Christ. There is power in the blood of the Lamb.

**Matthew 17:18-21** : "And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour. Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting."

**Mark 16:17** : "And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues."

Miracles are not a rare occurrence. God performs miracles and heals people each and every day. I have already written about how God miraculously healed me spiritually and physically. He peacefully healed my physically impossible situation. It is healed fully and completely, never to return. Thank You Lord! Praise You Father! I have experienced other miracles throughout my life. Many years ago, I was driving home from work on a dark night. I drove down a steep hill, stopped at the stop sign, glanced quickly to the left to see if there was any oncoming traffic, and when I saw no vehicles on the road, I took my right foot off the brake pedal and started to step on the gas pedal so that I could make my right turn. My right foot had just touched the gas pedal and my car had just gone forward a few inches, when all of a sudden, something lifted my right foot from the gas pedal and pushed it down on the brake pedal, bringing my car to a sudden stop. At the same time, a car came speeding from the left and in a few seconds was where my car would have been if I would have continued driving. The car zoomed past me to the right while I sat in the darkness astonished and shaken. At first, I did not understand how I did not see that car. Yes, it was very dark, and there were no streetlights, and it had just rained so there was a glare on the road from my headlights, and it was a little hard to see, but when I glanced to the left, there was no traffic whatsoever. Praise You God! The praise just sprang from my lips in the middle of my mental contemplation. It truly did not matter how I did not see the car; what mattered was that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had just saved my life. I did not lift my right foot from the gas pedal. I was not controlling my foot when it did that. God very quickly lifted my right foot from the gas pedal and pushed it down on the brake pedal so that my car would stop. I still vividly remember the feeling of Someone other than me controlling my foot, of Someone very quickly, but also very gently lifting my foot from the gas pedal and pushing it down on the brake pedal. That was not me. It was all God. This happened during the period in my life when I was entertaining pride and self-centeredness, when I was not seeking God, when I was not drawing closer to Him, and when I was disobeying Him, but I knew without a doubt then and I know without a doubt now that God saved my life. God loved me so much that He saved my life then, and I know that He has saved my life so many times before and after that.

I truly believe that we will all be amazed when we go to be with our Lord and are able to look back on our lives with His eyes and see how He has protected us and kept us from harm and near death and most of the time, we had no idea that we were ever in any danger. When I was growing up, I remember hearing stories of young girls protected by God's angels surrounding them, and the evil men who had been intending to hurt them were too scared to even go near them. The girls had no idea that the angels were even there; it was only later when the evil men were asked why they had not attacked such easy targets, that the girls found out how God had protected them. I have always prayed that my daughter has a hedge of warrior angels surrounding her continuously. When she was very young, she would look up at the ceiling, point, smile, and talk to someone whom I could not see. I have always believed that God allowed her to see the angels protecting her in those instances.

There have been many instances, too many to count, in which my family has wanted to go somewhere and either we had a bad feeling about going (which was the conviction of the Holy Spirit warning us not to go) or we were delayed by different circumstances (which was God supernaturally protecting us), and we later found out that there was a huge accident that we almost certainly would have been in the middle of if not for us either not going or the delay. God is constantly protecting us and most of the time, we are not even aware of it. That is why we have to give thanks in all circumstances. "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks." We have to praise God continuously, even if it seems as if something is not going according to our plans, because God could be working a miracle in our lives and saving us without us even realizing it. When we pray, we have to always thank God that His will is being done in our lives.

**1 Thessalonians 5:9,15-23** : "For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Continuing with personal miracle examples, I have a family member who met a woman with terminal cancer. This woman found out that she had cancer, and she then subjected herself to chemotherapy and radiation, and the cancer spread throughout her body until it became terminal. The doctors said that there was no hope for her, there was nothing that could be done, and she only had a few months to live. My family member heard her story and asked if she would consent to being prayed upon. The woman consented. My family member prayed for this woman, rebuked the cancer in the name of Jesus and asked God to heal this woman and restore health to her body. When the woman started feeling better, she went to her doctors and they confirmed that she had been healed of all cancer. What a praise report!

I love reading testimonies of people being miraculously healed by God through the power of the Holy Spirit. It is wonderful to see the hand of the Holy Spirit touching all those lives and transforming their souls. Some books that I read over and over and over again when I was praying for my own healing and that I would recommend everyone read are the Kathryn Kuhlman books _I Believe in Miracles_ , _God Can Do It Again_ , and _Nothing Is Impossible with God_. These books are filled with personal testimonies of people being miraculously healed of every incurable disease and sickness you can imagine. These testimonies are praise reports of God's love and healing power, and I believe that it is good for people to be reminded that there is no limit to God's healing love and that miracles and divine healing are happening today just as they were in Biblical times. For the people who believe that God does not work miracles today and that God's Word means something different today than it did back then, I want you to read Hebrews 13:8, which states that "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever." Our Lord Jesus does not change. God does not change. God's Word does not change. There is the same power in the Word of God today as there was 2,000 years ago. The Bible contains the answer to every question you have about life and to every question you have about healing. God has already answered it. Read the Bible and take God at His Word.

An important point to remember is that in order to be healed, you have to want your healing. You have to desire your healing. God does rain His mercies on the just and the unjust, and someone may be healed who doesn't desire healing or even know God (though it is probably because of other people's prayers for you that you are being healed), but as a rule, to be healed, you have to desire healing. To find God, you must seek after Him. I have seen people so in bondage that they do not ask God for healing and they do not even desire healing. They believe that sickness and disease is normal and there's nothing that can be done about it. It does not seem to me that they are hopeless and at their wits' end with trying remedies and possible solutions to their diseases. The sickness is the norm in their minds. They see nothing that needs to be healed. This is a cruel lie from the devil. I was previously praying that these people would be physically healed of all sickness and disease; however, I now realize that the real issue is spiritual, not physical, but then again, isn't it always? I now pray that God will open their eyes to the truth and that they will desire to be free from the bondage holding them prisoner and cry out to God for salvation and healing. Once spiritual healing takes place, the physical healing will follow.

### Chapter 4

### Additional Profound yet Simple Spiritual Truths That God Has Taught Me

I. Keep God at the Center of Your Life Every Single Day

Never let down your guard! Never fall into the trap of drifting away from God in the good times. That is exactly what I found myself doing after God miraculously healed all of my problems. When I was not facing adversity and a constant assault by the enemy, I let myself slowly drift away from my close and constant communion with God. I was not praying continuously and making it an absolute priority to have quality prayer time and Bible reading each day. I let unimportant things (isn't everything else unimportant compared to drawing closer to God?) occupy my time and take my full attention away from God. I truly meant to read the Bible and say more than a quick prayer before drifting off to sleep; I desperately wanted to, but a lot of days, it seemed as though I did not have enough hours in the day to do everything that I should do. Well, God firmly told me to make time! We cannot stop our intense praying or let our fervent desire to seek God wane just because physically everything is sunny and great. There are deeper, more important spiritual battles being fought for your soul and for your salvation. Every time you let something take priority over God, every time you focus your attention away from God, Satan wins a little victory. His goal is to steal, kill, and destroy all of God's creation. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." The devil is a liar. He is the father of all lies as Jesus stated in John 8:44, "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." Every time the devil whispers doubt, discouragement, and fear into your ears, remember, he is the father of all lies. The truth is not in him. God is truth. Satan is a liar and a coward. James 4:7 says to "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Another reason why I can never let down my guard is because my physical body and the lusts thereof (the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life) are constantly at war with my soul that is striving to follow Christ. I constantly have to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ Jesus. I have to rein in my earthly desires, my selfish will, and my desire to do what I want to do and instead focus on what God wants me to do. I have to crucify my fleshly desires every day and walk in the Spirit. It is hard. It is a lifelong process. I cannot let down my guard ever. Oh, but what a reward that waits for us at the end of our race—to have completed our salvation and be one with the Father through Christ Jesus.

**Galatians 5:1** : "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."

**Galatians 5:13-26** : "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another."

**Romans 6:12-14** : "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace."

**2 Corinthians 7:1** : "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."

**2 Corinthians 10:5** : "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"

**Hebrews 12:1-15** : "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;"

II. There Are Consequences for Every Action

There are consequences for every action. Satan tries to whisper in your ear that you can do whatever you want—it is _your_ life, so live the way _you_ want to live it; there are no consequences for your actions. You get bombarded with this from Hollywood movies and shows. I fell for this hook, line, and sinker. Make no mistake about it, there are consequences for every decision you make and for every action you take. Everything you do not only affects yourself, but it also affects your entire family such as your parents and siblings; if you are not married, then it affects your future husband and future children. The decisions that I have made have affected my family just as much as they have affected me. They have suffered with me as I reaped the consequences of my actions. I have felt so sorrowful knowing the agony that my entire family has gone through, the ungodly example that I set for my younger siblings, and the unnecessary pain that my daughter had to endure, all as a result of decisions that I made that were opposed to God's will. I am just so thankful that God spared my daughter's life and my life and that He has brought my whole family closer together than we have ever been before. You see, God can take what we meant for evil and turn it into good as Joseph said in Genesis 50:20, "But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive."

III. As Christians, Our Lives Are Not Our Own. We Are to Live for Christ.

Have you ever read a book or seen a movie about a person who is going to be killed and a stranger comes along and saves that person from their certain death? The person who was going to be killed tells their savior that they will be their servant forever, to do their will and to serve them, for their life is not their own. They were going to die, that was certain, but now they live.

**Romans 3:23** : "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

Every single one of us has sinned, has separated himself from God, and because of this, every single one of us must die. But Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we might live. He saved us from death. We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Our lives are not our own, to live for our own selfish desires and wills, but to instead live for Christ. I am now determined to live every day for Christ and to have every thought, every desire, and every action bring glory to God and to humble myself before Him in obedience to His will and serve Him forevermore. As Christians, our lives are not our own. We are to live for Christ, to become more and more like Him. As Billy Graham so accurately stated, "Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion—it is a daily process whereby I grow to be more and more like Christ."

**Romans 5:1-5** : "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us."

**2 Corinthians 5:15-21** : "And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."

**1 Corinthians 6:9-20** : "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

IV. To God Alone Be the Glory

Give all glory to God. Always. No exceptions.

When I did not give God the glory and praise Him for bestowing upon me the wonderful skills and abilities to excel at school, in every single subject, and I began to become prideful, thinking that I was more intelligent than other people and that it was my own skills and abilities that allowed me to accomplish so much in my young life, God had to humble me. In His infinite mercy and love, He had to humble me so that this foolish pride would no longer separate me from Him. Now, if my heart would have become hardened and I would have refused to humble myself and continued to lift myself up in pride, then I am certain that something much more drastic, and perhaps irrevocable, would have happened to me.

There are many instances in the Bible in which people glorified themselves instead of God and they had to be humbled and in some cases, struck down dead. In Daniel chapter 4, King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon was walking in his palace and proudly said, "Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom by the might of my power, and for the honour of my majesty?" (Daniel 4:30). Immediately God spoke to him and said, "O king Nebuchadnezzar, to thee it is spoken; The kingdom is departed from thee. And they shall drive thee from men, and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field: they shall make thee to eat grass as oxen, and seven times shall pass over thee, until thou know that the most High ruleth in the kingdom of men, and giveth it to whomsoever he will." (Daniel 4:31-32). That is exactly what happened—for seven years King Nebuchadnezzar acted like a beast of the field; he ate grass and his hair and nails grew long and wild. The sad part is that God actually warned King Nebuchadnezzar that this would happen to him if he did not change his ways. Twelve months earlier, King Nebuchadnezzar had a vision and God allowed Daniel to interpret the vision as a warning from God that this would happen so that he would know that God rules over all men. If King Nebuchadnezzar would have made use of the twelve months given him to seek after righteousness instead of lifting himself up in pride, then there would have been no need for this to happen. But, this is what it took for King Nebuchadnezzar to praise God. At the end of seven years, King Nebuchadnezzar lifted up his eyes to heaven and his understanding returned to him and he "blessed the most High" and "praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion is an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom is from generation to generation." (Daniel 4:34). Verse 37 states that "Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and extol and honour the King of heaven, all whose works are truth, and his ways judgment: and those that walk in pride he is able to abase."

In Daniel chapter 5, King Nebuchadnezzar's descendant, Belshazzar, obviously knew what had happened to King Nebuchadnezzar and why it had happened, yet he refused to humble himself and give God the glory. One night when he was hosting a grand feast, he commanded that the golden and silver vessels taken from the temple in Jerusalem be used to drink wine from, and he and his guests praised the gods of gold, and of silver, of brass, of iron, of wood, and of stone. At that same hour, fingers from a man's hand wrote words on one of the palace walls in full view of the king and his guests. The king was rightly terrified, and nobody could figure out what the words meant. Finally, Daniel was brought before the king, and Daniel informed him of what had happened to King Nebuchadnezzar as a result of him glorifying himself instead of God. In verses 22-28, Daniel stated, "And thou his son, O Belshazzar, hast not humbled thine heart, though thou knewest all this; But hast lifted up thyself against the Lord of heaven; and they have brought the vessels of his house before thee, and thou, and thy lords, thy wives, and thy concubines, have drunk wine in them; and thou hast praised the gods of silver, and gold, of brass, iron, wood, and stone, which see not, nor hear, nor know: and the God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified: Then was the part of the hand sent from him; and this writing was written. And this is the writing that was written, ME'NE, ME'NE, TE'KEL, U-PHAR'SIN. This is the interpretation of the thing: ME'NE; God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it. TE'KEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting. PE'RES; Thy kingdom is divided, and given to the Medes and Persians." That same night, King Belshazzar was killed and Darius the Mede became king.

King Herod is another example of a man who glorified himself instead of God. In Acts chapter 12, King Herod is revealed as an evil man who actively persecutes Christ's church. He kills James, the brother of John, and imprisons Peter, seeking to kill him as well, but God sends His angel to free Peter from prison. Acts 12:21-23 says that "And upon a set day Herod, arrayed in royal apparel, sat upon his throne, and made an oration unto them. And the people gave a shout, saying, It is the voice of a god, and not of a man. And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost."

Give God the glory. Do not let your heart become hardened in pride. Humble yourself before God and obey Him always.

V. Be Patient and Wait Upon the Lord

**Isaiah 40:27-31** : "Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the LORD, and my judgment is passed over from my God? Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Be patient and wait for God to direct your path. God loves you. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. The purpose of every Christian's life is to work out their salvation, but as God has lovingly created each of us with unique features and attributes, so He has uniquely created the perfect path for us to walk down to overcome what we need to overcome so that there is no separation between us and Him. If you feel frustrated or impatient or lonely or unloved, cry out to God for deliverance. If you are unsure about what you should be doing with your life or have a difficult decision to make, bring it to the Lord in prayer. Do not become impatient or desperate. Be patient. Wait for God to tell you what to do. Trust in Him, and He will direct your path.

Conclusion

It has only been a few months since I fully surrendered my daughter's life and my own life to God, that through Christ, I have conquered the fear tormenting me and have made the conscious decision to have God at the center of my life and to live for Christ every single day of my life. In return, God has healed our lives. Physically, it was impossible that such a situation could be healed, but with God, all things are possible. He has healed my entire family spiritually and physically, fully and completely. " **It is healed**." To God alone be the glory for my healing. To God alone be the praise.

God told me to use my testimony for His glory. Lord, use my story to glorify Your Name and bring others to You.

2 Chronicles 7:14

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

### Epilogue

"It Is Healed!"

Four months after God guided me in writing my testimony, He provided the physical manifestation of my healing. It is truly healed fully and completely and it will never return to torment me. Hallelujah! Praise You Lord!

God cannot lie. His Word is Truth. When God told me that "It is healed," then He healed it in that very instant, but He did not let me see the full physical manifestation of the healing because I needed to learn to believe God with all my heart despite what the physical may show. God required me to walk by faith and not by sight. I thank You Lord that You forced me to surrender all to You and to place all of my trust in You. You taught me patience and strengthened my faith. My hope is in the Lord. My trust is in God and God alone. God showed me that I am not to place any trust whatsoever in the physical or in man and man's creations, but to instead realize that I am 100% dependent on God. Only God can heal. Only God can restore life.

**Matthew 6:33** : "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Seek God with all your heart and draw closer to Him with every breath you take, every thought you have, and every word you speak. Place God at the center of your life and let Him be the fervent desire of your heart, and God will supply all your needs. He will heal every aspect of your life, spiritually, mentally, and physically. There is no greater joy, comfort, and peace than to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that as a precious child of the Most High God, you are under His divine protection and divine healing.

Remember what Jesus said in John 10:27-30, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. I and my Father are one." God is greater than all, and no man can pluck us out of the hand of God! That promise comforted me so much in the days leading up to the last court date.

The day of the last court date, hours before I was due to appear, I was fervently praying to God and claiming His promise that "It is healed," when all of a sudden, He led me to read Isaiah 41:10-13. I knew that this was God's promise for me, and I thankfully claimed that promise. Every word in those verses applied to me that day and to my situation overall. God was with me, holding my hand, leading, guiding, and directing my actions, and His glorious presence filled that courtroom. My daughter and I will never see, nor hear from, nor hear of our enemy ever again. "It is healed!"

**Isaiah 41:10-13** : "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Behold, all they that were incensed against thee shall be ashamed and confounded: they shall be as nothing; and they that strive with thee shall perish. Thou shalt seek them, and shalt not find them, even them that contended with thee: they that war against thee shall be as nothing, and as a thing of nought. For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee."

"It is healed!"

To God alone be the glory and the honor and the praise.

### Works Cited

Graham, Franklin, with Donna Lee Toney. _Billy Graham in Quotes_. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2011. Print.

Hurnard, Hannah. _Hinds' Feet on High Places_. Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 1975. Print.

Kuhlman, Kathryn. _God Can Do It Again_. Gainesville: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 2000. Print.

Kuhlman, Kathryn. _I Believe in Miracles_. Gainesville: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 2001. Print.

Kuhlman, Kathryn. _Nothing Is Impossible with God_. North Brunswick: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 1999. Print.

Ten Boom, Corrie, with John and Elizabeth Sherrill. _The Hiding Place_. Uhrichsville: Barbour and Company, Inc., 1971. Print.

