-Welcome to "The Tonight Show
at Home Edition."
[ Laughs ] Are you focused?
-Yeah.
-[ Laughs ] Are you happy?
-Yeah.
-Well, you look like
you were serious.
Oh, I didn't See your face.
-Nope.
-What?
-I know.
But -- But you know what?
-What?
-I'm pretending to because --
just want to.
-Yeah. Hi, Gary.
You see -- You want the ball?
You want the ball?
Go! Go!
Hey, guys, we have
a great show tonight.
A surprise from
Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig
later in the show, but our guest
is Taraji P. Henson.
Our first guest
is Taraji P. Henson.
She -- You know her from
"Empire" and her movies.
Her charity is the
Boris L. Henson foundation.
Basically, it's based
on her dad, who, um --
No. It's upside down.
-[ Laughs ]
-It's funny.
You can just text --
text "NOSTIGMA" to 707070
for Taraji's charity.
It's a really cool charity.
Thank you, Winnie,
for drawing these out.
Also we have Dua Lipa,
whose album
"Future Nostalgia"
is out right now.
And she's just crushing it.
And her charity is --
Can you help me?
Are you focused again?
-Mm-hmm.
-UNICEF.org. We love Dua Lipa.
And, um, what else do we have?
Maybe we'll check in --
That's right.
Franny, you did a great job
drawing that.
Uh, let's go to some -- some
monologue jokes right now.
Here we go.
♪♪
-Welcome to "Tonight Show:
Home Edition."
Well, guys, tonight marked
the start of Passover.
It's a holiday that celebrates
the miracles of Moses like
parting the Red Sea and
finding toilet paper at Target.
Yeah, it's a big week,
with Passover starting tonight
and Easter on Sunday.
If your family celebrates both,
be sure to pick up a pack of
the all-new gefilte-fish Peeps.
This should be great --
opera singer Andrea Bocelli
is going to perform live
on Easter
from an empty cathedral
in Italy...
or his living room if he changes
the background on his Zoom.
Some big 2020 news.
Earlier today, Bernie Sanders
dropped out of
the presidential race.
I'm going to miss having Bernie
in the race 'cause if there's
one person who's been my spirit
animal during this pandemic,
it's Bernie Sanders.
The Pulitzer Prize board
has delayed announcing
this year's winners
by two weeks.
See? Don't feel bad.
The Pulitzer Prize people
aren't getting any reading done
during quarantine, either.
Yesterday, a record-low number
of people at airports
were checked by the TSA.
At some airports,
the agents were so bored,
they started
frisking themselves.
"Now you, Larry. You get me."
That's right.
Airports are pretty much empty,
but when you walk
into the bathroom
somehow every stall
is already taken.
Well, Disney's floating
the idea of checking people's
temperatures at the gates
when the parks reopen.
Yeah. Disney said they take this
pandemic extremely seriously
and then handed a thermometer
to a six-foot mouse in a tuxedo.
-[ Chuckles ]
-Some TV news.
We got a little giggle there
from my wife.
Thanks, Nancy. Some TV news.
CBS is starting a weekly
"Sunday Movie Night"
showing classic films like
"Forrest Gump" and "Titanic."
It's perfect if you love those
movies but always dreamed of
seeing them interrupted
by six car commercials.
I heard you can now get takeout
from some of the nicest
restaurants in the world.
So finally you can eat
roasted quail
with a side of wild seaweed
out of a bag
while you watch
"Wheel of Fortune."
"Buy a vowel.
All right. Now your turn, Larry.
You frisk me."
I saw that Panera
is launching Panera Grocery
where they're now selling
basic grocery-store items.
And this is cool.
[ Laughs ]
It's not even that funny.
I don't know why I'm laughing.
Sometimes you just need a joke
to make you laugh.
I saw that Panera
is launching Panera Grocery
where they're now selling
basic grocery-store items.
[ Laughs ]
And this is cool.
At the checkout...
[ Laughs ]
I saw that Panera
is launching Panera Grocery
where they're now selling
basic grocery-store items.
And this is cool.
At the checkout,
they put all your items
in a bread bowl.
[ Laughs ]
Bread bowls. Oh, my gosh.
That was -- That's hilarious.
Uh -- [ Laughs ]
Remember we had chowder
in a bread bowl
or something in Boston?
-Oh, yeah. At the airport.
-At the airport.
It was a big deal, man.
It, like, reinvented...
restaurants, bread bowls.
You can eat the bowl.
I hear a lot of families
are having family dance parties
to relieve stress and anxiety.
It's fun until you're
dancing with your sister
and then Boyz II Men comes on.
-♪ I'll make love to you ♪
-Alexa, next song!
-♪ Like you want me to ♪
-Alexa, next song!
And finally, a lot of people
are trying to buy new furniture
for working from home,
so if you and your spouse
weren't fighting enough, try
assembling a new desk from IKEA.
That's our monologue, everybody!
♪♪
-Oh, hey, Jimmy.
-Hey, what's up, Jimmy?
How you doing?
-Everything's good.
In quarantine, you know.
How about you?
-I'm just doing whatever
you're doing. You know?
-Well, I'm about to go get
my 14th snack of the day.
-I know. You want
to sing some harmony?
-Sure. One, two, three.
-♪ It's like you're my mirror,
mirror staring back at me ♪
-A little pitchy.
♪♪
-Hey, guys, we're doing
this thing every Wednesday
where I show my favorite videos
that people
have been putting online.
It's called
"What Are You Doing Wednesdays."
♪♪
We all know everyone's at home,
so here's what
you guys are doing.
This first guy
is celebrating his birthday.
This is how you celebrate
a birthday right now
in quarantine, 2020.
Take a look.
-♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Blow out the candles!
[ Laughter ]
-Well done. And a good audience,
by the way, too.
All those --
All those screens he has there.
These next two are grandparents.
I think -- We think
they're grandparents.
Either way, they're super cool.
It's called
the Garage Door Challenge.
They created a drinking game
using their garage door
to raise money and awareness
for directrelief.org.
But check out these two.
-Is it on?
-It's on.
-All right! We're on!
-Garage-door assisted corona...
-Chugging Challenge!
[ Whirring ]
-Get ready!
[Bleep]
-Oh, [bleep].
[ Laughs ]
-I don't think we missed a drop.
-Jake and Barb...
-I'm pretty sure we got it all.
-...you're up!
-Not my grandparents.
-Yeah, I know.
I love -- I love how they're,
like, shouting out,
"All right, you're next."
They're challenging other
people. They want to do it.
If I had an automatic garage
door, I would do it but I don't.
But anyways,
you're very fun people.
This next video is --
Gosh. Do you love dogs?
Do you love "Harry Potter"?
Well, here you go.
This is bulldog "Harry Potter."
♪♪
♪♪
-Wow. The CGI is so real.
The CGI was so real.
That was a flying dog.
This last one is this couple --
I think they're a couple.
Could be brother and sister.
And she's just saying hey --
He's trying to practice
this golf trick indoors.
And it's a trick
like Dude Perfect would do
or somebody,
but he pulls it off.
Check it out.
-...swing and do it.
-Okay. Come on.
-God's sake.
-Yeah! [ Laughs ]
-Ohh!
Extra points for bouncing it off
of your girlfriend's head.
Oh, my God. Guys, that was
"What Are You Doing Wednesday."
