

NILLIUM NEEMS

By Francisco J Ruiz
Copyright © Francisco Jose Ruiz 2015

All characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to real people is purely intentional coincidence.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be copied or reproduced without the author's express permission.

Day 1

Hi! My name is Nillium Neems. Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it? I know it doesn't for me. If it had been my choice, I would have been named something cool like Sasha or Tanya. Something exotic. But, I guess that's parents for you. They just have no idea what kind of name a girl really wants. They always settle for something lame, or at best, average.

Not that I ever knew my parents that well. I've been in and out of mental institutions since I was four years old. Mainly 'in' since the brief periods of 'out' consisted of me being released, celebrating my freedom, and then doing something crazy to get right back in again. Often times before I'd even left the institution grounds.

Never was it my parents who came to pick me up either. They gave up on me by the third time I'd been committed and had by all accounts, officially disowned me. Every time I've been released since, which are becoming fewer and fewer, it's either been some state provided caretaker who has come to get me, some would be foster parent, or no one at all. The doctors at the ward, or as I call it, Home, have actually been so callous as to lead me to the exit, wish me good luck in a weary voice with a shake of their head, and then walk off. Leaving it to humble little me to find my own means of transportation, not to mention somewhere to stay.

So here I am, twenty years old if memory serves me correctly, which is doubtful, and I've spent most of my life inside of Atrium Psychiatric Ward. Yay... I've learned the system inside out, been subjected to more drugs and forms of 'treatment' than I would care to count, and am probably damaged beyond repair. Not that I wasn't to begin with, since there's obviously something very wrong with me to have been put here in the first place.

Although, that brings me to the odd bit in my little introduction. I really have no idea why I'm here... They say I'm crazy, but I don't really know why. Supposedly I have schizophrenia, because of all the things I claim to see, but I know they're real. I know what I saw, and that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned, even if I did kill that man. Well, more than one man, but they weren't really men at all. But enough of that line of thought, let me get back to the main point.

The reason I'm writing this, is because I'm lonely. I have no friends here, since they don't like us interacting with each other, and the few people (I use that term loosely!) that I am allowed to interact with, I find great difficulty in trusting. Out of everyone I have ever met, there is not a one that I place any faith in I'm afraid.

So I'm writing this account, call it a journal if you will, just so that I have someone to talk to about everything. I don't care who you are, chances are that no one will ever even read this, but I just really... need someone to talk to. It helps soothe my spirits to write this stuff down. I have to hide it from the doctors of course, ha ha, or else they'd think I was even more of a loon than they already do.

God, I hope they don't ever throw this away. If there is a God anyways. I've certainly never seen Him do much for me!

Nil, Out. I'll write again tomorrow with any luck.

Day 2

Forgot to mention in my last entry. Please call me Nil. Nillium is simply unbearable, and Nil is at least acceptable, albeit, barely. Anyways, now for an account of how my day has gone. With any luck, yours has gone better...

An orderly shook me awake around 7:00AM, telling me it was time to be escorted down to the breakfast hall. I must have been inadvertently behaving myself, for it had been a while since I was actually allowed out of my room.

Nevertheless, I was rather fond of sleep and didn't feel much like budging. With an angry grunt, the orderly grabbed me by the scruff of my hospital gown, forcibly hauled me off the bed and threw me against the wall. Have I mentioned yet how much fun life is here at the ward?

I was used to this rough kind of treatment and rolled with the punches as you might say, twisting my body as I hit the wall to catch myself with my arms. It mostly worked, though I would have a bruise the next day for sure.

I got sullenly to my feet and stared at him. I recognized today's tormentor as Copley, a not overly bright man, whose only real love in life seemed to be the salty pretzels that he always carried around in a small Ziploc baggy.

"Breakfast." he said flatly, his voice jagged. "Move."

With a weary sigh, I turned on my heel and walked through the open door to my room, making my way down the hall. Copley followed closely on my heels the whole way, probably looking for a reason to push or hit me. Don't get me wrong, not all of the orderlies were, um, jerks. Some of them were decent enough people. Just... not Copley.

We made it to the breakfast hall without further incident, and thankfully, Copley remained standing at the door. The room was well supervised enough that he wasn't required to follow me in, giving me at least a tiny measure of freedom. I could sit where I wanted, even talk to the other patients as I pleased, assuming I didn't get too rowdy.

I sat across from Jeremy. He's an alright guy, kind of a thin, frail sort, who tends to shiver as if in the cold. But at least he's not one of the Monsters.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked him brightly, peering into the metal bowl in front of him.

"...Oatmeal?" Jeremy replied, as if making his best guess at a hard question, afraid of getting it wrong. Poor Jeremy didn't like questions. They stressed him out.

I frowned as an orderly placed an identical bowl of food in front of me, studying its contents suspiciously. Jeremy stopped eating, waiting for my assessment of our meal. He always placed a great deal of value on my opinion. Who knows why, he just did.

"There's bugs in it," I said at last, pushing my food away in disgust.

"I-I d-don't see any," he replied, his expression narrowing in alarm.

"There's a lot of them," I expounded. "You've probably already eaten some."

Jeremy looked at his food, looked at me, back to his food, and screamed. He fell out of his chair in his haste to flee, scrambled to his feet, and made his panicked way out of the room. I hadn't meant to scare him. I just had that tendency.

A rather skinny orderly hurried over to me, drawing the small baton that all of them were armed with and brandishing it threateningly.

"Nillium Neems," he said roughly, stopping less than a foot from me. "Are you causing trouble again?"

I opened my mouth to make some kind of snarky comment, but then closed it promptly in horror. He was no orderly. He was one of the Monsters...

"I... I'm not causing any trouble," I whispered quietly. I gave a small, involuntary shudder. The Monster noticed and I know he liked seeing my fear.

He grunted, satisfied with my reaction, and turned his back to go terrify someone else. Well I didn't have much choice now... I owed it to my own sanity and to the safety of every other patient in Atrium to stop him and his kind. Otherwise they would terrify us without end. I'd already killed a few of them in my time.

Sure that he was no longer paying attention to me, but before he could take more than a few steps away, I grabbed my plastic fork and snapped it in half against the table. They didn't let us have metal cutlery for obvious reasons. But that didn't matter so much when you knew how to snap plastic ones at the right angle to give it a sharp point.

On silent feet, I took a running leap, bringing my arm around in an arc to stab him right through the carotid artery in his neck. I'd had practice, so I knew right where to aim. But I didn't stop there, oh no! For I had practice too in not getting caught.

I rolled as I hit the ground, dropping my weapon and tumbling right under the nearest table. I crawled from there till I was at a sufficiently safe distance not to become suspect.

A cry rang out a moment later as people began to take notice. Wardens, the main security force of the ward and a step up from an orderly, rushed in. I felt very thankful in that moment that I was already on the ground, for they began indiscriminately clubbing anyone that was standing who stood in their path.

Someone's hand reached down and hauled me to my feet, dragging me towards the door. I didn't struggle, for I knew it wouldn't do me any good. I just let the man take me back to my cell, where he shoved me through the door and slammed it behind me, scurrying off to go do the same to the other patients.

I let out a sigh of relief that it was over. At least the man who'd grabbed me hadn't been another monster. The creatures infested the ward to its very core.

So all in all, my day was sort of a good one. I'd killed another monster, reducing their numbers ever so slightly, but now we were all on lockdown. Probably for a good few days. Guess it means I have more time to write to you, my Bookish Friend!

Cheers,

Nil, Out (In several days after lockdown is lifted, ha ha)
Day 3

Couldn't sleep well last night due to rustling within the walls. Again. Sounded like rats, but I know who it was, no matter how he tries to disguise himself. I finally got to bed around 3:00AM, although it was hard to tell the exact time since my clock was lying. The time was probably closer to 4:00AM.

I was woken up somewhere around 7:00AM for breakfast, which they shoved through the slot in my door and went on their way due to lockdown. Thankfully, it seems I'm not getting blamed for the killing yesterday. I was too quick for anyone to notice. Yay me.

I'm certainly not eating the food. Not after seeing what was in it. But anyways, without anything better to do I might as well get around to describing my room to you.

It's a 10x10 square, with a heavy metal bed placed near the center of the furthermost wall. They only let me have one scrubby blanket and a single tiny pillow. Though the good doctors of Atrium were more than generous in supplying my bed with thick leather straps on both sides, for when they felt like restraining me for the night (or day). In the corner of my room is a little rusty toilet and in the other corner, is a small black desk that's bolted to the floor so I can't use it as a weapon. Why they gave me a desk I have no clue, since I'm only allowed to have three personal possessions at a time.

The walls of my room are smooth, sterile and white, made from some kind of plaster or drywall. It's not the sturdiest stuff, as I've managed to chip a fairly large hole through one of the walls, which are fortunately hollow inside. Gives me a rather handy place to hide this little journal. I've saved the wall chippings of course, managing to stick them back together so I have a removable 'lid' to place over the hole in the wall when I think someone's coming.

And that's about it as far as my room is concerned, other than the sturdy metal door that leads into it. Making it, naturally, rather impossible to escape. The door at least had a little window in it so that I could look out.

About midday, Doctor Flagham came in to check on me and give me my daily dose of whatever new poison they decided to try out. He frowned upon noticing my uneaten breakfast.

"Nil, you haven't eaten today. Are you feeling alright?"

I just shrugged, laying back in my little bed. I'd given up long ago trying to explain things to any of the fools. He wouldn't have believed me that the oatmeal was soaking in blood, even though it so clearly was.

"Nil, you have to eat something," he said with a deep sigh.

I sighed myself, being fed up with this routine. It wasn't that old Hammy was a bad sort, on occasion I think he cared about me. He was just too stupid to see what was going. I rolled onto my side so that I was facing away from him and feigned sleep. He probably knew I was faking it, but he got the hint and left, closing the door gently behind him.

I waited till I was sure he was gone and then sat up, mulling over the events of the day. As my mind wandered, so did my eyes, roving the room with no particular goal and finally coming to rest on the little shelf they'd given me. On it sat my only three possessions.

1. A Charlie Brown baseball cap, which I was rather fond of since it had Snoopy on it. I rarely got the chance to watch TV, but almost every time I did, it seemed to be playing Charlie Brown. No idea why. And Snoopy was my favorite character. If I ever got sane, I intended to get a dog and name it Snoopy.

2. A small pocket watch made of nickel. It didn't keep time very well and ticked slower than it should have. Sometimes if I held it the wrong way it stopped ticking all together. But I liked it nevertheless. Its tick was comforting, and someone had even engraved a poem on the back.

Is it time?

The pocket of watch

can't tell of time.

It's for the preceiver

to present in time.

I had no idea what it meant. The word perceiver was even misspelled, assuming that's the word it was supposed to be. I'd certainly never heard the word 'preceiver' but I didn't write it off entirely. Maybe it meant something special.

3. A copy of the Bible. I hated that book with a passion, because it always seemed to be watching me.

My mind wouldn't stop thinking of that possibility. I stared at the book for a while, feeling like it was somehow staring back at me. Finally, lunging off the bed towards it, I grabbed it in both hands and slammed back the cover.

Sure enough, there was that flame-red, almost reptilian looking eye in the middle, pupil wide with surprise. It faded into the pages as if it had never been, but the ruse was useless. I'd caught it in the act this time.

With a smug look on my face, I closed the Bible and put my Snoopy Cap over it, so maybe it wouldn't see me as I wrote in my journal. After scribbling down the events of the day, I picked up the Pocket Watch and lay back against my pillow, holding the Watch to my ear.

I fell asleep listening to the tick. Tick Tock, Tick Tock. It was comforting, the gentle clack of its gears drowning out the lonely beating of my heart.

Till tomorrow, my Bookish Friend.

Nil, Out!

(By the way, I'm referring to you as 'My Bookish Friend' from now on. I can only assume you're a bookish sort, if you've managed to stick with my mad ramblings for this long.)

Day 4

This morning was not good. Not good at all. Dr. Higgins, my psychanalyst, woke me up an hour early according to my untrustworthy clock. Though I suspect it was actually much earlier than that. He wanted to ask me about my dreams again. Supposedly his job was to monitor my mental health, play the role of a psychologist if you will, but dear Dr. Higgins was more of an oneirologist than anything else. A man who studies dreams. Apparently no one at Atrium cared if he did the job or not, just so long as he clocked in on time. Sigh.

Higgins started to walk slowly around my bed, a vulture circling its prey. I must admit, I felt a little bit smug that my bed was tucked against the wall. It didn't allow him to walk a complete circle around it, forcing him to keep changing directions. Kind of ruined his intimidation a little.

Back and forth he walked, kind of like my clock, tick tock, tick tock, for two minutes at least before finally speaking.

"So, you are still claiming to be unable to dream..."

His voice was precise and slightly clipped, like some high-minded college professor giving a lecture to a room of students considerably less intelligent than he was. Or at least, less intelligent than he believed himself to be.

"We've been over this before, Dr. H..."

"And we will go over it a thousand more times until you tell me the truth, Miss Neems."

I suppose this is the part where I show my disregard for the good doctor by spitting in his face and saying something suitably rebellious. I'd tried that once, a long time ago, and it did not end well. These days I make do with lying back in bed and closing my eyes.

"It is impossible to not dream, Miss Neems." he continued.

My eyes were closed, but I could tell by his voice that he was still circling around me. Tick tock, tick tock, a human clock with a broken gear.

"Perhaps you do not remember your dreams, Miss Neems, or pretend not to remember, but you do dream. To not dream, would indicate that your very brain has shut down during the night."

"Maybe it has," I replied brightly. "Maybe all of your endless droning about dreams has finally killed me mentally."

The sound of footsteps ceased as he paused. I'm sure his eyes were narrowed at that one. Higgins was not amused. His footsteps continued a moment later, a slightly quicker, more frenetic pace.

"Galantamine." he said after a while. I heard the rustle of what I could only assume was a pill bottle being pulled from the deep pockets of his white doctor's coat.

I cracked my eyes open a tadge and sure enough, he was holding a shiny white bottle of pills. There was no label on it and somehow, that worried me.

"Galantamine?" I asked. "Sounds like a parasite."

He smiled at that, but his smile held no mirth in it. Just coldness.

"Galantamine is a drug used primarily for Alzheimer's and other memory impairments. What I have here," and he brandished the bottle at me, "Is Galantrasol, an experimental derivative of Galantamine, which is supposed to be much, much stronger. Perhaps it will help in your... inability to remember your dreams."

"I'm guessing it's not FDA approved?"

He smiled again in response.

"I did say it was experimental. Now open wide," and he shook two pills into his hand, holding them out towards me.

It was about then that I tried to bite him. Hey, you would have too in my position. Of course Higgins was used to such antics, and pulled back immediately from my lunge, then lunging forwards himself with one arm outstretched, catching me around the throat and pushing me back onto the bed. He squeezed, holding me down till I started to choke for air.

The moment my mouth cracked open he dropped two pills inside, loosening his grip around my throat so I could swallow while moving his other hand to press against my mouth, forcing me to do so. The pills slid down my throat and I felt like I'd just swallowed slime. Which I guess wasn't a feeling too far from the truth.

"There," he said, letting go and leaning back from me. "That wasn't so hard, was it? Now be a good girl and get your sleep. And remember," here he tapped his forehead smartly with a finger, "if you just dream, it will all get better. I promise you that one."

Higgins turned on his heel and left. I lay there, defeated, starting to feel weird from this new poison. I thought I was a mushroom after a while, growing out of the mattress and just searching for sunlight, yet always living in darkness. Mind you, that might not have been the drugs talking. I am crazy after all, and tend to think a lot of weird stuff.

My limbs felt off and my brain a bit fuzzy, but after an hour or two it started to wear off. In all honesty, I would have quite enjoyed it if the pills had worked, since I've never been able to experience the sensation that people call 'dreaming'. But of course, they didn't. Now I just felt tired and angry.

My anger only grew as I lay there, anger at my helpless nature. I decided to take it out on something, anyone, anything just to show that I wouldn't put up with this any longer. I thought about my untrustworthy clock at first, but it was too high for me to reach. Beating up my Bible wouldn't do any good either, for I suspected it would find a way to get back at me.

Then I thought about Mousy. I leaned over the side of the bed to check beneath it, but he wasn't there. The smug little rodent never is about when I need him!

A lack of targets to let my rage out on only made me angrier, until I was on the verge of mindlessly banging on the door like some kind of lunatic. I actually was going to, leaping off the bed and running towards the door, raising a fist to begin. But I stopped as soon as I looked through the little window and saw the Hooded Man standing outside, leaning nonchalantly against the wall.

Out of all of the inhabitants of my Home, he was the only one that I really, truly feared. I feared him so much that the mere sight of him sapped all of the anger from my soul and sent me fleeing back to the safety of my bed. I spent the rest of the day huddled under the covers so that he couldn't see me. This has not been a pleasant day.

Nil, out.
Day 5

Lockdown has finally been lifted. Yay. The wardens must have decided during the interval that all of us lucky patients needed a treat. Something to calm down our emotions before any more killings happened. Fat chance. I would kill the first monster that gave me the opportunity and that was that. Anyways, as our little treat, they decided to take us all out to the Yard.

The asylum that I live in is basically shaped like a square, with the middle bit cut out, which is where the yard is located. And the Yard is huge, probably as big as a football field.

We always look forward to spending some time in it, since other than a bunch of wardens to keep an eye on us we are pretty much left to ourselves. Some of my fondest memories are of wandering peacefully around the Yard. Not quite frolicking, but close.

I did feel a bit weak today, not having eaten anything. But you wouldn't either if you had bloody oatmeal and something weird with bugs in it as your only options. I just hope they don't force me on one of this IV-drip things to keep me alive. I'd eat, if only they'd give me something edible. Maybe I'd find some mushrooms or something growing amidst the grass.

I avoided the other patients. I rarely got along with them that well to begin with, and after everything else, I didn't want to be taken by a Monster unawares. And yes, some of my fellow patients are Monsters too, though you usually can't tell unless you're up close.

So I headed for The Tree and sat down on the grass beneath its canopy. We all call it 'The Tree' even the wardens. Primarily, because it's the only tree in the Yard. But also and perhaps more so, because it had to have been a good three stories high! It reached the roof of the surrounding complex, not quite towering over Atrium Psychiatric Ward, but coming pretty darn close all the same.

Most of the bottom branches had been hacked off of course, so that us patients couldn't attempt to climb it. Not that we'd be able to anyways, since most of us are in pretty bad shape.

I like to sit under the Tree when I'm out here, since the stars in its upper branches are so very beautiful, twinkling even in the bright light of day. Sometimes I wonder what it would look like at night, the stars the only source of light. Turning the Tree into a supernova of glowing wonder, something magical beyond words. I doubt I'll ever get to see it though. They only let us out in the Yard during the day.

I heard the shuffle of footsteps approaching, and woke from my ponderings to see Jeremy approaching, followed closely by Harold. I wouldn't have minded Jeremy's company much, but Harold freaked me out. Out of all the patients he was one of the few that I felt truly deserved to be here.

Small in stature, only a little taller than me, he always walked in a slightly hunchbacked manner. His nearly bald head revealed every ugly pore on his skin, which constantly seemed to be lightly sweating

The few times I had tried to talk to Harold he would never meet my eyes, staring past me instead, his own eyes shifting back and forth, as if watching things that weren't there. Nut job. They shouldn't let people like that near us innocent patients.

"What do you want, Jeremy?" I asked, my words stopping him a few feet from me. Harold kept moving, walking right up to me and shoving an angry finger towards my face.

"I. Saw. You." he said, accusingly.

I raised an eyebrow in question, and glanced over at Jeremy, who gave me an apologetic shrug.

"Saw me?" I asked. "You mean saw me standing over here by the Tree?"

"I... S-saw you!" he repeated, more forcefully as if I'd been caught out in some great crime.

I turned once more to Jeremy, hoping he could interpret.

"Harold saw you... stab the guy in the breakfast hall," Jeremy almost whispered, as if afraid his words would provoke some kind of punishment.

I got an awful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. If he had told the doctors, then I would be moved to a much higher security section of Atrium. Probably treated with electroshock therapy too, or something worse. Much worse.

"Harold," I spoke slowly, "does anyone know what you saw?"

"I. Saw you. And. I'll tell."

Needless to say, the little maniac wasn't being very helpful. So I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him off the ground. His eyes roved wildly in every direction, looking at everything but me.

"If you tell anyone," I growled at him, "I'll make you regret it."

"Hey, are you crazy!?" Jeremy shouted, horrified. Harold didn't say a word, eyes still spinning like a top.

I turned to Jeremy, the tattletale still fast in my grip.

"Are you?" I said quietly.

"Y-you killed someone, Nil. And now you're threatening to kill Harold!"

I glanced around worriedly for fear that a doctor or warden would see this little scene we were causing. Thankfully, not a one was even in sight. For all of their security measures within the walls of Atrium, they seemed to be unbelievably lax when it came to security in the Yard.

So I repeated my question.

"Are you crazy, Jeremy?"

"Yes..." he said slowly, after a moment's hesitation. "The doctors say I see things that aren't really there. But they are giving me medicine to make it better."

"It's not medicine, Jeremy. It's poison."

The little man's face went pale. It was not a pleasant sight and made him look more ill than usual.

"But it's helping me!" he wailed. "I don't see so many things as I used to."

"Then it's poison. It's lying to you, Jeremy. This whole place is lying to us." Harold was still doing the weird eye-thing. I seriously think he was having some kind of fit. I shook my head to clear such thoughts from my mind, and got back to focusing on Jeremy.

"A few of the doctors are okay, but most of them are cruel. And they let Monsters walk amongst us, yet don't do anything to stop them!"

"Monsters?" said Jeremy, in a terrified whisper.

"Yes, Monsters. They-" but before I could speak further, I felt a dark presence approaching. I'm sure my own face went pale with fright, because I knew that presence, that foreboding, evil, aura. It was the Hooded Man...

Jeremy turned and fled without another word, leaving me and Harold alone with the approaching horror. I dropped him to the ground, my hands suddenly shaky as an old woman's. Harold just lay there, unmoving save for those creepy, staring eyes. My legs felt like jelly and it took all of my courage to turn and face the oncoming horror.

There he was. Tall, at least six feet, features concealed by a dark brown robe wrapped around him. A cowled hood draped over his face, hiding it completely. If he had wanted to, he could have passed for a monk or something at some remote monastery. The kind where pyscho cultists make human sacrifices before bedtime.

I was screaming inside but couldn't seem to move. His mere presence had me paralyzed with horror. So I stood helplessly as he walked towards me, a slight limp in his step, one of his hooks dragging on the ground behind him.

Reaching forward with one of his pale, decayed hands, he placed it upon my forehead, whispering of death. Instantly I felt a cold chill run through me and I fell to the ground, shivering. I don't remember anything after that until I awoke a day later in the infirmary, pale and sick. One of those darned IV-drips was attached to my arm. Sigh. Looks like the doctors managed to get one in me anyways.

Nil, Out.

Day 9

I only just got back to my room. Lost a day after the Hooded Man attacked me, and then another two recovering in the infirmary. The doctors put it down to a fever. Yeah right...

According to my clock it's 7:00PM in the evening, but it surely can't be more than 4:00PM right now. Having naught else to do with myself, and too weak to do anything productive (like screaming) I opened my Bible and gave reading it another try. I used to read it all the time, but after trying to discuss it with one of my warders one day, it was soon made clear to me that none of what I'd read was supposed to be in the Bible.

Confused at this, I'd asked the man to come see for himself. Obviously deciding to humor me, thinking I was just being crazy, he decided to read a few passages for me from John, about the importance of being truthful. That confused me even more, for I'd never heard of a book in the Bible called 'John'. Intrigued once the warden had left, I flipped through the Book looking for any mention of this John character. But I couldn't find him.

It was after that when I began to distrust the Book and first noticed it watching me. Even now, as I open it and read over the book of Demon's, I wonder if what I see is true or if the Book is lying to me. I will reproduce a verse or two here just so that there is some proof of what I say. Though perhaps it's just proof that I'm crazy, ha ha.

Demons 1:23-25: For if anyone is a hearer and not a doer, he is like a man looking in a mirror. For once he has looked at himself and gone away, he is no longer himself. But one who looks intently at liberty and abides it, has not become a forgetful hearer but a doer. This man will be blessed in all he chooses.

I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it speaks of liberty, which I'm dear in need of. And ever since reading that verse I've tried to avoid looking at mirrors, just in case. Not that I've ever been allowed to own one.

Anyways, today I decided to try reading over the book of Merits, hoping if nothing else that it would stop the Book from looking at me. Merits talked all about making your own way in the world, doing what you thought was right, etc. Kind of a do-it-yourself code of morals. It didn't feel entirely right to me, but I had nothing else to go on so I went with it.

After a while, not feeling very inspired, I put the Book back on my shelf and donned my Snoopy Cap. Wearing that made me feel a whole lot better than reading the Book ever did. I picked up my Pocket Watch too and lay back in bed fiddling with it for a while. I turned the hands first right, and then left, then back and forth. Just to watch them move more than anything else. It made me sort of happy.

Until, that is, I heard a heavy thump from over near my shelf. I turned to see the Book lying on the floor. But I knew it hadn't fallen. It had jumped... By reading it I had only encouraged it further.

Starting to feel angry, I hopped off my bed, walked over and picked it roughly up from the ground, and slammed it back into place on my little shelf. I watched it for a moment, but it didn't move. Slightly mollified, I crawled back into bed and decided I might as well try and get some sleep.

I was just starting to nod off when I heard a thump, a papery rustle, and then silence. I cracked one eye open suspiciously and then both went wide with alarm as I saw the Book sitting innocently on the edge of my bed.

Enraged beyond measure at this wicked thing, I leaped upon it, picking it up and looking for somewhere to throw it. My eyes chanced upon my untrustworthy wall clock and I smiled. Winding up my arm, I threw it, hoping to end both of these evils in one moment of rage.

The Book was on a direct course towards the Clock and I was so sure it would connect. But I swear on my Snoopy Cap itself, that the Clock actually moved upwards, all the way to the top of the wall. It avoided my attack completely.

I doubt that I have ever been quite as angry in my life as I was then, so furious I was completely unable to move, just boiling over inside. I fully believe that I went into some kind of seizure during that period, because the next thing I remember is Doctor Flagham leaning over me and asking if everything was alright.

Getting unsteadily to my feet, I waved a quivering finger at the Clock, telling him all about what it had just done. It was then to my exquisite horror, that I noticed the Clock was right back where it had always been. I glanced over towards the bed and noticed that the Book was sitting smugly on the edge of it. I knew that if I had dared to open it, its eye would be staring right at me.

The only thing that had remained where it should have was my faithful Snoopy Cap, loyally stuck to my head. Near tears, I asked Hammy that whatever happened to me, to please, please, please never take my Snoopy Cap.

"Alright, Nil," he said calmly, leading me by the hand over to my bed. He actually looked quite concerned about me, which I guess meant a small something.

"Please?" I said quietly.

"I'll be sure that nothing happens to it, I know how much it means to you. Now why don't you get some rest? I'll return in a little while to make sure you're doing okay."

I nodded. In case I did break out in tears, I'd prefer to be alone at least. Preserve what tiny dignity I had left and all that.

"Hey, Hammy?" I asked as he opened the door.

"Yes, Nil?" he replied, turning back to meet my gaze.

"Thanks."

Dr. Flagham almost looked embarrassed, like he was undeserving of any appreciation for his kindnesses.

"Anytime, Nil. Just... hang in there." and he was gone, closing the door quietly behind him.

As soon as he left, I put the Book under the mattress where I wouldn't have to look at it. I then crossed my arms, stuck out my tongue, and stared defiantly at the Clock. For once it seemed to be telling the correct time, 5:15PM. Thought it was probably only doing so for Hammy's sake, so that he wouldn't know it had been lying.

I heard a rustling sound and for a moment thought it was coming from inside the walls again. But then to my relief, Mousy crawled out from under the bed, peeking up over the side and making his way over to my hand. He always made that rustling sound, even though there was nothing to rustle. It was just his way, I guess.

I scooped him up in my hand and brought him up to eyelevel. Mousy is a weird sort of fellow, about half a foot tall and looking something like an elongated rat, but slightly gooey as if made out of jelly. I certainly don't trust him, but he's never done anything bad to me as of yet, so I sort of count him as a friend.

"So, where have you been?" I asked him pointedly.

He made that rustling sound again, like a rodent stirring in the bottom of a wastepaper basket.

"You could at least try squeaking or something you know, normal mouse noises."

He rustled solemnly. I felt like he at least tried to squeak, so I guess he earns points for that.

"What's up, Mousy, why did you come out of hiding?"

He rustled once more, hopped out of my hand and scurried down the side of the bed. I hesitated for a moment, but then realized I had nothing else going on so I might as well see what he was up to.

Mousy led me over to a slightly dark patch in the wall, as if the plaster had been water damaged. He looked at it pointedly, then at me, then back at the patch in the wall. Shrugging, I knelt down and poked at it.

It wobbled just slightly as if also made of jelly, and then collapsed inwards, revealing a hole just big enough for me to stick my hand into. Against all better judgment, I did so, pushing my hand deep into the interiors of the wall.

I moved my hand back and forth, like a kid rummaging for the snicker doodles in the cookie jar, until it encountered something smooth and hard that felt different from the surrounding textures. I pulled on it, nearly falling back in surprise when I found it was loose and not even attached to the wall. Carefully, so as not to damage whatever this strange object was, I pulled it towards me until it clacked against the other side of the wall. It wouldn't fit...

Before I could twist it around to try and pull it out from another angle, I heard the soft tread of footsteps approaching the room to my door. I pulled my hand out just as the door opened, Hammy walking through holding a tray with a bowl of what looked like soup and a glass of water.

"What were you doing?" he asked in a concerned voice, stepping over so that he stood beside me.

"Nothing!" I replied quickly, standing up and trying to cover the hole I stood in front of.

"What were you doing to the wall?" he said, gently nudging me aside and leaning down to look at the hole. He ran his hands over the area with the hole in it, somehow missing the hole itself. Flagham stood up after a moment and stared oddly at me.

"Is there something wrong with the wall?" he asked.

I just stared back, amazed that he hadn't spotted the hole.

"Err, I guess not," I replied, deciding to lie. Lying was usually my best recourse. I glanced briefly around for Mousy, but he didn't seem to be anywhere in sight.

"Are you alright?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Err, yeah, just dandy. Sorry, I... uh... was just taking in the remarkable... texture... of the wall!"

Hammy continued staring.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"It's just been a rough day. Um, how about I get some sleep? I'm sure I'll feel bundles better after a proper night's rest."

"Well, if you're sure..." he replied hesitantly.

I nodded encouragingly and crawled back in bed.

"I'll be back in the morning to check on you, alright? In case you're catching a fever or something?"

"Alright. Thanks, Hammy!"

He opened the door and left, glancing back once or twice towards me. The instant his footsteps faded away I leapt from the bed to go back to the hole in the wall, curious how he couldn't have spotted it. It was gone, leaving me confused and frustrated.

I spent the rest of the day staring under the bed waiting for Mousy to appear, hoping he might be able to bring back that strange hole. But he never did and at some point I fell asleep, tired of such mysteries, just wishing I could be normal.

Life is not fun,

Nil, Out

Day 13

Haven't written for a few days, because nothing of note has happened other than the usual stuff. I think I saw the Hooded Man yesterday while walking through the hall to breakfast, but it might have just been a doctor standing in a shadow. Mousy hasn't come back, so I still have yet to solve the mystery of the hole in the wall.

I did hear some rustling within the walls this morning, but not the kind that Mousy makes... The other sort which means Derrick is around somewhere. I don't see Derrick very often, but I always regret it when I do. He doesn't scare me like the Hooded Man does, but I think that if someone is going to kill me someday, it will be Derrick. The Hooded Man likes to keep me alive so that he can torment me, but Derrick just plain wants me dead. He's tried a couple of times, but in an outright fight I think I could take him. So he usually sticks with more indirect means, such as the bloody oatmeal. I know he's the one responsible for it...

A knock on the door interrupted my musings, followed by a warden opening it a moment later.

"Nillium Neems."

I rose from my bed, recognizing the voice of Copley. I had no intention of getting beat up again already.

"Out," he said, pointing over his shoulder towards the door. "Everyone's in the Yard already so get a move on."

I walked over to the door and without a word headed down the hall. Considering the orderly I was dealing with, Copley seemed in an unusually good mood. He hadn't shoved me once yet and seemed pretty content to just let me lead the way.

I heard the crunch of a pretzel as he walked behind me, one hand clasping a little Ziploc baggy full of the salty treats. Unfortunately, being me, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut forever.

"You know all that salt is bad for your health," I said mildly, still walking.

"Shut up."

"And all the highly processed ingredients in the pretzel dough? Ugh. That's asking for trouble."

"I said shut up."

"Mind if I have some?"

"What?" he replied, stopping in his tracks in confusion.

"Mind if I have some pretzels? I know they're bad for me, but you're making them look awfully tasty nonetheless."

Copley snarled and reached into the bag, grabbing a handful and throwing them at my face.

"Enjoy! Now shut up and keep moving."

I decided it was probably wise to stop pushing the boundaries for the day, and walked the rest of the way in silence. You may think me foolish, but please believe me, I did have a plan in mind other than the mild satisfaction that came with annoying a disliked orderly. The instant we reached the door leading out to the Yard, Copley opened it, shoved me out, and then closed it behind me, stomping off to go angrily munch on more pretzels.

Now I could be assured that the man wouldn't bug me during my time in the Yard, leaving me in at least some semblance of peace.

This time I avoided going near the Tree. I loved spending time under it, but not now. Not so soon after being attacked by the Hooded Man. I wanted to stay in sight of the other patients and at least one warden. I doubted the wardens would ever do much to defend me, but the Hooded Man generally seemed to stay away from them, so I figured it would be a wise move.

The disadvantage to my plan, was that I had to actually spend time with the other patients. I looked around for Harold, thankfully not spotting him anywhere, and decided to sit down next to Lana.

She was drawing on one of the paved pathways that ran throughout the Yard with chalk. We're not allowed to have pencils. I have one anyways, which is what I'm writing this with. Aren't I the sneaky one?"

Lana is a fairly peaceful sort, who just likes to sit and draw all day. To be honest, I think that's what her life consists of, is sitting and drawing. I watched for a while as she drew some kind of flower. It was beautiful and I could tell at once she was a master.

Most artists start with a basic sketch or outline of what they want, and then slowly fill it in and perfect it. Lana just went straight for perfecting it. I don't know much about flowers, but I think she was drawing a mum. Whatever it was, it was pretty and made me happy.

"What do you want out of life, Lana?" I asked, kneeling down beside her.

She didn't answer, just kept drawing.

"Do you want to be out of this place, Lana?"

I wasn't even sure she'd heard me. I gently took the chalk from her hands. She looked up at me, meeting my eyes with her pale, slightly glassy yellow ones.

"Lana? What do you want out of life?"

Her brow furrowed as she considered my question.

"A pencil." She said at last.

I stared at her.

"That's all you want?"

"I can draw better with a pencil than with chalk." She daintily took the chalk back and went right back to drawing her flowers, as if I'd never spoken in the first place.

With a sigh, I fished out my stolen pencil and placed it on the ground beside her. If I could make one person's dream come true, however small, then it was worth the risk of having to steal another pencil from one of my doctors. I'm not even sure she noticed its presence. But sooner or later she would, and then Lana's weird little dream would come true.

Of course, as my luck would have it, it was then that I glanced up and saw one of the Monsters approaching. I have only touched lightly upon the subject of the 'Monsters' so perhaps it's time to go into a bit more detail. The Monsters infest this home of mine to the very core. They disguise themselves as both patients and wardens, sometimes even doctors, and try their very best to make my life a living Hell. They whisper in the doctor's ears at night, telling them new ways to torment me, new poisons to try. They keep tabs on me, aware of my every move. It is my sincere belief that this would be a wonderful or at least, livable place, if it were not for the Monsters.

That's why I kill them whenever I can get away with it, to remove their evil from this world. The creatures never physically try to kill me, but they don't really need to. For they are killing me bit by bit as time goes by, drowning any hope I have until all is lost.

This particular Monster was dressed like a patient. To the casual observer, he would have passed as such, but I had long since learned to recognize them for what they were. Human-shaped, with human features, they nevertheless had a certain 'glassiness' to them, a slightly unreal quality.

It walked up to me, a blank expression on its face and sat down beside me and Lana. I looked around furtively for a weapon, not wanting the Monster to catch on that I was aware of it. Unfortunately, the doctors of Atrium are not in the habit of leaving weapons lying around for us.

I'd have to go back to basics and strangle the thing. I'm a small person mind you, not very strong at all, but as they say, practice makes perfect. This would be far from the first time I'd had to resort to such tactics.

So I leapt upon it, Lana not even pausing in her artwork as me and the creature rolled across the ground. Hands inching around its neck to a prime position for killing, I latched on and squeezed, choking the life from my adversary. Its eyes filled not with anger, not with fear, but with a mocking delight, as if I was the one about to die instead of it.

As I felt the hands and heard the shouts of wardens behind me, I realized I had a problem. They pulled me off the creature before I could finish the job, and I think I'm the only one who noticed the smug look on its face as the wardens hauled me away. Looking back, I wonder if that's exactly what the creature had wanted, was for me to get in trouble.

For trouble is precisely what I got into. Beat with the blunt batons that the wardens carried, till I could nary lift a finger, they left me strapped immobile to a bed, in a room that I didn't like. They discussed what to do with me as I lay there, needing something radical to alter my behavior. Again.

Dr. Higgins stared down at me as I swam between unconsciousness and alert terror. He opened his mouth but I couldn't hear the words, too out of it from the beating to understand what he said. The only word that made it through was 'electroshock' which only made my terror worse.

Electroshock therapy isn't as bad as it could be, since I've kind of gotten used to it over the years, but it still sucks. I know it's without question damaged my memory, but hey, looking on the bright side, at least they haven't gotten around to giving me a lobotomy yet.

After that I kind of blacked out. It is on that cheery note that I'll end this entry, as I lie here recovering in my own bed, mind feeling numb from having an amp of electricity shoved through it.

Nil, Out.

Day 14

Still feeling out of it. One of the doctors must have had an acute attack of conscience, for I awoke with a fluffy teddy bear lying next to me. Not the greatest as teddy bears go, but it was a kind enough thought. I'm attributing it to Hammy since he usually does stuff like that and seems to be the only doctor who actually cares. I'm sure they'll take it away from me soon enough, but for the time being it's kind of nice.

I heard the chink of something hitting the metal frame of my bed and looked up to see Derrick sitting on the end furthest from me, his grotesque feet dangling in the air as he read through my Bible. I don't know what a bogey man looks like, but that's the word that comes to mind whenever I see Derrick. He's skinny, warty, and a bit shorter than me. I know he can fit down tiny holes when he wants to. That's how he gets inside of the walls.

"Well?" I said, after staring at him for a moment. He continued reading for a minute longer, at last placing one long finger in the book to mark his spot and closing it.

"I come with intentions of peace, my sweet," he whispered in his gargly voice. "I mean you know harm..."

"You have nothing I want, Derrick. Just go away."

" I have nothing you want, this is true. But I can help you achieve what you want, if you will let me."

"Meaning?" I replied wearily. I was not in a mood to deal with this little freak today.

He gave me a wide, toothy grin. His teeth were small but sharply pointed, ideal for eating children probably.

"You want freedom. So do I. I will help you achieve yours, if you will help me achieve... mine."

I didn't even bother to respond to that one, just rolling over and trying to get back to sleep. I knew that Derrick wouldn't harm me while I was sleeping. He was a strange and dangerous creature, but I'd come to know his ways well over the years.

A rustling from beneath the bed reached my ears, and I opened my eyes again to see Mousy climbing up and onto my hand. That alone made me feel better. I liked Mousy. He rustled briefly and then looked at the door.

I followed his gaze and then opened my eyes wider still in alarm when I realized the door was open. The door to my room, the door to freedom, was opened before me.

"Did you do that?" I asked Derrick, who had an evil grin on his face.

"Freedom for us both," he whispered, hopping to his feet and heading for the exit. He stopped in the doorway and gestured for me to follow. Knowing in so many ways that it was a bad idea, I took Mousy in one hand, my journal in the other, and hopped out of bed. Donning my Snoopy Cap, feeling its reassuring weight upon my head, I left my room.

I didn't have much of a plan. Be stealthy and make my way upwards was about the extent of it, since there was too much security on the ground floor. I'd try to find a way out via the roof or something. I glanced at Derrick who led the way a few steps in front of me, the book held tightly in one hand.

It's eye was so bright it glowed through the book cover, lighting our way like a torch. The hall was already well lit though, and I feared the book's glow would only draw attention.

"Derrick," I hissed, walking quicker to catch up with him. "You opened the door and everything which is cool, but what's your plan from here?"

He only smiled, speeding up the pace and rounding a corner in the hallway. I had an awful premonition of doom as I lost sight of him. I continued another step or two anyways before Mousy rustled warningly, stopping me in my tracks. The hurried click of footsteps against the hard, polished floor reached my ears, and I knew I was about to be caught.

Panicked, not having many options for hiding spots, I dived through a random door and hoped no one would be in there.

As my luck would have it, not only was there someone in there, but I was just in time to witness a murder. Yay. My first impression was of blood. Blood everywhere. There was a patient lying on a bed attached to the wall in front of me, with a large man standing over him, stabbing downwards with a dagger.

The Killer must have been at least six feet tall, and was so grossly muscled, that he looked inhuman. Though I suppose the glowing red eyes that he turned upon me helped with that assumption.

As he rose to his full height, the blade in his hand dripping blood and hissing like a snake, he roared at me. Then he charged, dagger raised above his head. In horror I noticed how it twisted and writhed like a snake, growing longer as the Killer drew near.

It takes a lot to make me scream, but I screamed in fear nonetheless, diving through the door I had entered and out into the hallway. I slammed right into the doctor whose footsteps I had heard, knocking us both to the ground, and he too screamed as the Killer bore down upon us.

Rolling to the side, I heard the ringing sound of the dagger as it struck the floor where I had lain. Scrambling to my feet and away, I turned to see it whipping and flailing through the air like a scorpion's tail as it searched for a target.

It struck the doctor in the chest as he rose and tried to flee. He let out a last gurgled scream before it threw him against the wall, his body crumpling to the ground, leaving me alone to face the Killer. I don't know where Mousy had gone in the chaos, but I hoped he was safe.

We stood there facing each other for a moment, until I broke the standoff by waving awkwardly at the Killer.

"Hi, I'm Nillium Neems. Um, just because you're all... monstrous, doesn't mean we can't be friends. Maybe we just got off on the wrong foot. What do you say we start over?"

Its dagger shot towards me and I ducked, rolling under it and unfortunately, closer to my adversary. So I kicked him in the foot. I can't say it helped much. All that muscle kind of protected the freak and all I did was hurt my own foot in the process.

As the Killer threw back its head and roared once more, I ran, limping slightly and making small whimpering sounds. I make no claims to bravery.

I fled down the same turn of the hallway that Derrick had taken, hoping there would be a chance to lose my pursuer. Two orderlies were rushing down the hall, batons drawn, curious to see what all the commotion was about.

They stopped in surprise at the sight of me and I used their moment of distraction to my advantage, ducking between them and continuing to run, heading for another turn in the hallway.

Another orderly running this way, doors on all sides of me, a Killer and two men behind me. I was running out of options. I lunged through the nearest door, praying it was open, and found myself in Lana's room.

The floor and walls covered in chalk drawings, she sat in the middle of it all with a pad of paper and a huge smile, creating a work of art with her new pencil.

"Thank you for the pencil, Nil!" She said happily, waving at me. "It's my new best friend and it listens to all my worries."

"Lana, you have to help!" I shouted, pressing my back against the door, hoping against hope that my diminutive frame could hold back my pursuers.

She just stared at me, and a moment later I was hurled backwards as the door burst open. I flew through the air and slammed into the nearest wall. I hadn't even gotten to my feet before men were all over me, hitting me again and again.

"Lana!" I screamed in pain as she just stared. After a minute she went back to drawing, as if none of us had even been there.

I'm not sure how long they beat me, it couldn't have been for more than a few minutes. But it seemed like hours. Dr. Higgins rushed through the door after a while, stabbing me with a syringe and pumping some kind of tranquilizer into my blood stream.

Just before sleep took me, I saw Derrick crouched outside the door, just out of sight, a vicious smirk upon his evil mug. I'd fallen right into his hands. There had been no freedom, just a chance to get me into deep trouble. Shucks.

Well, I guess looking on the bright side the Killer didn't seem to have followed me. My luck still sucks eggs.

Nil, Out.

Day 16

Yesterday set a new record for unpleasantness. After I woke up from being tranquilized, I spent the whole day strapped to a chair being interrogated. Mainly by my best buddy, Dr. Higgins, though he had the help of another random doctor or two.

They wanted to know how I had escaped my room and most of all, why and how had I killed Doctor Peabody. I tried explaining that I was blameless, that Derrick and the Killer were to blame. I even told them that I had walked in on the Killer stabbing another patient to, hoping to gain some honesty points with them.

Dr. Higgins raised an eyebrow.

"You killed someone else too, aside from Dr. Peabody?"

"NO!" I shouted, exasperated. "Aren't you listening? I'm telling you it was the Killer, the monster with the snakey dagger thing. It's all Derrick's fault because he lied to me. Him and the Book."

"What book?" Higgins asked mildly.

So I had to explain everything, against my better judgment. I told him all about Derrick, Mousy, the Book, my room and all the strangeness. I told him about the Hooded Man and about Monsters, there was not a thing that I left out save for the disappearing hole in my wall, which somehow I felt was for me alone to know.

It made me angry the way he patiently listened. I could tell he wasn't buying a word of it. I had just started to tune out his voice as he began to go on about how none of what I'd seen was real, and I was mentally disturbed. My mind was just starting to focus on fish in a basket and a lake of living water for some reason, when I was brought sharply back to reality. Higgins had just said that the room where I had met the Killer did not exist. That grabbed my attention.

I'd always been accused of seeing stuff that wasn't real, but it had always been people or things. Never had it been a whole room! More than slightly scared, I wondered what kind of sick games the Monsters were playing with me. If they had it in their power to make a whole room disappear, then they had a lot more power than I had ever imagined.

After grilling me for another hour, Higgins and company transferred me to a new room, since I'm sure they now considered me a very dangerous patient after I allegedly killed Doctor Peabody. Which is where I am now as I write about yesterday's events, sitting forlornly on a mat on the floor and scribbling away at my sad tale. I'd lost my little journal during my tussle with the Killer, which I am not happy about. I'm writing now with a pencil stolen from Dr. Higgins office while he questioned me, along with a notebook that I'd nicked from the same. As previously mentioned, I'm a very sneaky person.

Anyways, now to write of my new room. It... kind of sucks. The only furnishings are a single mat and a drain in the floor of one corner. I guess they couldn't afford to install a toilet. I'm not allowed any possessions, so other than my stolen notebook, I have nothing to stave off the boredom.

My missing Snoopy Cap is what really upsets me though. I was actually crying earlier today, and expect I will be later on. As I sat and thought about the purpose of tears and what use they serve, debating if I should cry some more, the door opened.

I looked up and in walked my new doctor. He was tall, thin, and stoop-shouldered, as if ready to pounce at any moment. He both reminded me of a scarecrow and a vulture, and I knew in that instant that my life was about to get a lot worse.

"Hi!" I said, summoning my annoyingly cheerful tone of voice and waving. "I'm Nillium Neems. Are you my new roommate?"

Two orderlies stepped into the room behind him, batons drawn. I figured they must be there for his protection, since I was after all a murderous psychopath in their eyes.

"I am Doctor Sirius. The Director of Atrium Psychiatric Ward has deemed you beyond the reach of Doctors Flagham and Higgins. He has tasked me with correcting your behavior."

Sirius spoke in a flat, emotionless voice, like a professor long since bored by his own class.

"And I suppose abusing my rights and sticking me in this prison cell is your first step?"

Sirius waved a hand at his minions who stepped forward and latched onto me, holding me down. I struggled but it wasn't any use. I'm small and they weren't. He then pulled a syringe from his coat and injected it into my arm. Not stabbing me, like the doctors had done before, but professional and calmly detached, which was somehow scarier.

"That is Olanzapine," he explained, "it should help considerably in reducing your psychotic episodes."  
"But I like my episodes," I replied in a whining tone. "I figured if I had enough of them I'd be all set to start my own TV series."

Dr. Sirius didn't humor me. Usually when I'm smart-alecky about something it either confuses or enrages people. I wasn't used to my remarks just being ignored.

"Someone will be back to monitor your progress in twenty four hours," Sirius continued flatly as he turned and walked to the door. He left without a further word, leaving me in the clutches of their poisonous drugs.

I curled up in a little ball on my cot, shivering. Whatever they'd given me was not Olanzapine. I was used to that drug. It was a pretty standard one that was used to treat Schizophrenia and other mental disorders. They had given it to me on and off over the years, and the worst it did was cause occasional insomnia.

This new drug, however, whatever its true name might be, made me feel weird just minutes after taking it. My whole body started shaking and trembling, with my poor heart hammering at way above the normal beat. I lay down on my cot and seriously contemplated suicide, wondering what the point of anything was. Anything at all.

I miss my old room. As bad as it was, it was my home. And I suspect it's going to be a long, long time until they let me interact with other patients again. Between being blamed for Peabody's murder and my attempt to strangle the Monster out in the Yard, I am now considered a dangerous patient. And dangerous patients do not last long, before something more drastic than a bit of electroshock therapy or suspicious pills are employed.

I lay my head back, still shaking, on my tiny little cot and poor excuse for a pillow. I slept, eventually, but I did not dream. I never dream. Thank God for that at least, for it means the nightmares can only come for me when I'm awake...

Nil, Out...

Day 30

Nillium Neems. Nil for short. I'm not sure what the 'Neems' means, but I know what the 'Nil' means sure enough. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. Rather a fitting name. Kind of sums up my life.

Abandoned by friends, family and God, not a thing to her name, she rots in eternal silence. Alone and forsaken, nothing is her name and nothing is all she is. Nillium Neems.

Okay, maybe that was a tad dramatic. But the last two weeks have been boring without much to do but think. So I've been fantasizing about my situation, trying to give it a brighter outlook. Daydreaming if you will, which means I can dream afterall. So there Dr. Higgins. Ha!

Speaking of which, I have had... no visitors. Other than the guys who feed me (when they remember) but they just shove the food through a slot in the door. Makes me feel like a dog. And not a happy fluffy one at that! Dr. Sirius never even came back to check on how his poison worked, unless he did while I was sleeping. Which is a creepy thought.

As my thoughts dwelt upon my loneliness here, the door opened without warning and in stepped none other than Dr. Flagham.

"Hammy?" I said, rising up to a sitting position on my cot.

He smiled, though it was a bit strained, and actually took a seat next to me on the floor.

"How are you, Nil?"

"Pretty bad, actually," I replied with a grimace. I eyed him a bit warily. He'd always been nice to me, but he was still a doctor.

"I had no hand in this, Nil, in moving you here. They only recently told me where they'd moved you."

"And why would they hide things from you, Hammy? You're one of them."

He sighed deeply.

"I'm not exactly popular here. Some people believe my methods of dealing with the patients are too soft."

"Are they?"

"I believe they are just, and that's enough for me. That's why I'm here, Nil."

I waited expectantly for him to continue.

"Of all the doctors, I would say I probably know you the best. Would you agree with me on that one, Nil?"

"Alright," I said, nodding. "Sounds fair enough. So what does that mean?"

"You have a lot of personality, Nil, but I could never imagine you stabbing a doctor through the heart. You didn't even know Peabody. He served in the opposite end of the Ward. Likewise, concerning the patient in the Yard that you are accused of trying to kill, I have never known you to commit such acts of violence."

"You think I'm innocent?" I replied, letting out a breath. Hammy's support really caught me off-guard. He was a little bit clueless, considering that I have been and am, very capable of acting violently. Though I have very good reasons for everyone I have killed or attempted to kill.

Hammy nodded slowly.

"I believe you are innocent of what you are accused of. I at least want to hear from your own lips what really happened. How did Peabody die?"

Well now I was in a quandary. I briefly had Hammy's trust, or at least, partial trust, yet if I spoke the truth he'd think me insane. My frantic little mind was halfway through concocting a story about how a deranged Harold killed Peabody, when a beeping sound started up.

With a look of annoyance, Hammy pulled a small pager from his pocket and glanced at it.

"They're calling me. Some kind of meeting." He got to his feet, but seemed reluctant to leave.

"I don't want you to get in trouble, Hammy," I said, stalling for time until I could come up with a decent lie.

"Alright. Yes, I'd best leave. I will talk to the others and try to get you moved back to your old room. They'll probably tighten security for a while, things will certainly be different, but if I can at least get you moved back I think you'll be happier."

He was halfway to the door when I spoke.

"Hey, Hammy?"

"Yes?" he replied, turning.

"Can you try and get my Snoopy Cap back? That alone would really lift my spirits."

"I-I can try. I can't make any promises, but I can try."

His pager beeped again, and with a panicked look and not another word, he turned and left. I believe him that he will try to help. It makes me at least a little bit happier. We'll see if he can follow through or just ends up letting me down like everyone else does.

Nil, Out.

Day 36

The days are going by quickly. I'm mainly spending them sleeping since I don't have anything else to do. Twice in the last six days I woke up with injection marks on my right arm. Dr. Sirius must be as silent as a ghost. It worries me.

On the plus side, the food at least is edible. Not once have I received bloody oatmeal! Nor have I heard any rustling in the walls or seen anything else weird. Nothing at all. This is the first time in my life that I have gone so long in a state of normal. Makes me wonder if all the drugs that Sirius has been experimenting with are warping my mind more than usual. Either that, or Derrick and the rest of the 'Haunt Nillium Neems Crew' simply have yet to find me.

This morning was good. One of the best days I've had, because Hammy walked in to talk with me, my Snoopy Cap held under one arm. I'd thought he had forgotten all about me...

"Nil!" He exclaimed, looking worried. "I'm sorry I've taken so long. There's been a lot of meetings lately, and one of them was about you," he handed me the Cap, which I promptly fit snug on my head. Already my cheer and hope were rising.

"I'm guessing you weren't invited to the meeting concerning me?" I guessed, all too accurately.

He nodded.

"I am not held in high opinion by the Board of Directors. They believe my methods of actually bothering to care to be, and I quote 'Too soft'."

"That sucks."

"Thoroughly. But tell me what happened with Peabody. We got interrupted before you could explain."

Well I'd been halfheartedly thinking up some lies to explain Peabody's death, since I'd had six days without anything to do, but I decided in that moment to tell the truth. Hammy had gone out of his way for me, and the least I could do for him was bring him into my confidence (Actually, the least I could do for him was strangle him, steal his key and lab coat, and walk out of Atrium disguised as an undersized doctor. But I'd feel bad about it since he was so nice).

"You'd better sit down," I said to him at last. "This is going to take a while..."

Then I told him everything, my Snoopy Cap on my head all the while, giving me courage. I told him about Mousy, Derrick, The Hooded Man, the mysterious hole in the wall in my old room, everything. I saved Peabody's murder at the hands of the Killer for last.

I don't know if Hammy believed me at all, but he at least listened to what I said and actually seemed to think on it. That made me happy. Hammy is a really nice man and I'm glad he doesn't listen to the Monsters.

"I need some time to think over what you've told me, Nil." He said once I'd concluded. Not the best response I could have hoped for, but it was enough.

"How long? This room is getting pretty boring."

"I'm... not sure. You've given me an awful lot to think on. I want to test some of it for myself to verify its truth."

I nodded. That was fair enough. As long as he gave me a chance, that was all I could ask for.

"Any progress getting me back to my old room?"

Hammy's expression darkened and he shook his head.

"I'm trying, I really am Nil. But if it's even possible, I believe it will take some little time. Perhaps what you've told me might help, if I can find a way to use it. But I've got to go. I'm ostensibly down here to check on your health and if I take too long, they might get suspicious."

He turned to leave.

"Hammy?"

He stopped but didn't turn.

"Why? Why are you doing this for me?"

He was silent for a good half minute.

"Because I'm not a monster," he said quietly and left, closing the door gently behind him.

For the first time I have a friend on my side. He wasn't strong, nor big, nor particularly impressive looking. He suffered from the unfortunate name of Flagham and was surrounded by hateful coworkers. But he was my friend and the first I had aside from Mousy. This has been one of the happiest days of my life.

Nil, Out!

Day 37

Since Hammy gave me my Snoopy Cap back, I have been wearing it constantly, even while sleeping. This morning I woke up after another dreamless night, to find small mushrooms sprouting from the floor all around me. I hopped out of bed to investigate, careful not to step on any of them. It then occurred to me that perhaps this room would have a host of its own strange inhabitants...

I knelt beside one of the thicker patches of mushrooms, thinking they were cute at first. Pale brown and green, slightly pointy, they reminded me of those little mushrooms you eat all the time in Chinese takeout.

I gently poked one out of curiosity and the cap that was its head swiveled slowly around to face me. And a face it was, a tiny human countenance, twisted in a bizarre expression of outrage. I screamed, thoroughly freaked out, and started stomping on the monstrous little things.

They began to shriek in high pitched voices, the noise hitting a crescendo of pure sound that rocked me on my feet. It was an eerie sort of wailing, that spoke of pain, fury, and sadness. Stopping my assault, I retreated to the safety of my little cot.

The noise lessened but did not dissipate, continuing on a much lower level that worked its way deep into my being, severely disturbing me. I shut my eyes and tried to block it out. After a while, I mostly managed to. Until I met Siegfried that is.

I first became aware of him when I heard his gentlemanly introduction beside me, as he spoke in a thick British accent. I opened my eyes to see him sitting beside me. The fact that he was an oversized slug alarmed me not at all.

He didn't really have any hands (being a slug) so I gave him a pat in lieu of a handshake.

"Nice to meet you, Siegfried. I'm Nillium Neems. What's up with all the little mushroom guys?"

"Don't fret about the Mushrooms," he replied. I could hear a smile in his voice. If he had been human, I felt he would have been giving me a wry grin. "They are former patients of Atrium, who have died unwholesome deaths. Slain by the corruption that twines through this building."

I looked closer at the Mushrooms, still wailing aloud. I could see the sorrow on their faces now that I looked for it. There were an awful lot of Mushrooms...

"All of them are former patients?" I asked slowly.

Siegfried nodded, as best as a slug can nod.

"Pity and do not fear them. They mean you no harm. The Mushrooms vent their sorrow at their own miserable fates."

Well that made me sad. To think that I had been heartlessly stomping all over them a moment ago, when they already had enough troubles of their own. I got off my cot and knelt down beside them once more. Reaching out, I gently stroked one with my hand. It seemed to calm them all down a bit. That made me smile for the first time in I don't know how many years.

Siegfried nodded at me as if in approval, like I'd passed some kind of test.

"What are the Monsters?" I asked him. "Derrick, the Hooded Man and the Killer? What is it they all want?"

The slug smiled knowingly and began the following explanation. Or at least, I think he smiled. It's hard to read the expression on the face of a slug since they don't really have one.

"Derrick I have never heard of, so is of little consequence. A meaningless anomaly," he began, "but the other two you mentioned are of great importance. As you have correctly guessed, Nillium Neems, the Monsters that you see wherever you go infest this place to the core. They influence the doctors and wardens, even the other patients. Of them all, there are some, such as the Hooded Man and the Killer you encountered in the hall, who lead them."

"So they're like the chief Monsters?" I asked. "Villainous masterminds? Because the Hooded Man fits that image, he's certainly smart enough, but the Killer seemed kind of mindless. More like a raging bull than anything else."

"They are Tormentor's," Siegfried answered. He spoke the word tormentor not as a descriptive, but as a name. "That is what they live for, to torment and terrify others. These creatures as so gifted at the art, that they have achieved great power over the years. They are truly to be feared."

"But why do these Tormentor guys only seem to target me?" I asked. "I've never seen the Hooded Man go after anyone else. Jeremy saw him in the Yard, but the Hooded Man was only after me."

"Because you can see, Nillium Neems. You are not blind like the others, but see things as they truly are."

"Why is that?" I asked of him. "Do you mean I'm special in some way?"

Before Siegfried could answer, the Mushrooms began their wailing again, increasing steadily in pitch till the sheer volume made my head ring. At the point where I couldn't take it anymore, feeling my very skull would split open, the Mushrooms disappeared beneath the floor and the door opened. Dr. Sirius walked in with his measured stride, each step exactly the same as the previous one. He looked at me, keeled over on my bed, hands clasped to my ears, and frowned disdainfully.

"Get up," he said, walking over and hauling me upright. I glanced around for Siegfried but didn't see him anywhere in sight.

"What do you want?" I quavered, still getting over the Mushroom's screaming.

Dr. Sirius didn't even answer me, instead reaching into his pocket and bringing out a syringe. He jammed it into my arm, pumping me full of some new poison. I tried to push him off, but Sirius just shoved me to the ground.

"Aren't you supposed to at least inform patients what you're drugging them with?" I groaned.

"Normally," he replied, his voice as bored as ever, like someone reciting from a textbook. "But your parents long ago gave up all rights to you. You are a ward of the State, meaning that we own you and can do as we wish to you. You are also completely and dangerously insane."

"By whose standards?" I asked angrily. "Because sometimes I get the feeling that the patients aren't the only nut jobs in this ward."

"None of our efforts," Sirius continued, ignoring me, "seem to have done much to improve your sanity over the years. In my opinion, Dr. Flagham and Dr. Higgins have been far too lenient with you. The instant that electroshock therapy failed to improve your attitude, they should have taken more drastic steps."

I stared at him in shock, not believing the words that issued from that flat mouth. For him to think that Dr. Higgins had been too soft with me, made me wonder in horror what he considered to be appropriate treatment. Sadly, I didn't have to wonder for long, because the very next words he spoke were exactly what he thought should be my fate. As if he were some mediocre god, declaring judgment on his unwilling subjects.

"Nillium Neems. I have spoken with the Board of Directors in this facility, explained your case to them, and they have given me approval to take more drastic steps. The medication I have just given you is the very strongest that Atrium Pharmaceuticals has to offer. It is banned from use, even here at the heart of Atrium, without express permission from the board. They have granted me that permission, with which I intend to make full use."

"And what's this new medicine do, Dr. Sirius?"

"If this last drug fails," he continued, ignoring me once more, "then we will be left with no choice but to lobotomize you. A rather archaic method of treatment, true, but undoubtedly effective in pacifying an unruly personality. Whether you even understand what I'm telling you matters not one bit to me, I'm simply stating it to be official about this."

Without a further word he left, leaving me alone and wondering whether or not I'd even survive this new 'medicine'. I started to shake, curling up in a little ball on my cot. Whatever this stuff was, it was already taking effect.

The door opened once more a moment later, and Sirius strode back in. He crouched above my little form like some kind of predator, and snatched my Snoopy Cap right off my head.

"No personal possessions," he said plainly, and then left once more, leaving me alone and in pain.

Nil, Out...

Day 40

I've been too weak to write for the last three days straight. In and out of consciousness, hallucinating, seeing things that clearly aren't there. This new poison is the worst yet. Muscle spasms almost to the point of seizure, my heart beating so hard that it's painful. So yeah, I've been in a lot of pain. Today the effects are at last starting to wear off and have left me weak and achy, barely able to move.

I'd actually welcome one of those IV-Drip things right now, since I've not been able to eat a thing. But this dungeon-like room seems to lack even the most basic privileges, including apparently, the privilege to stay alive. No one has been in to check on me since Sirius, other than the silent man who shoves food through my door twice a day. I've never seen what he looks like, or if he even is a man.

Life is Hell right now, not that it's ever been much else. No sign of Siegfried or the Mushrooms, no Snoopy Cap or strange Book to comfort me. I'm all alone in here.

I tried praying for a little while, since my only hope was in someone stronger than me, but I don't think it did much good. It never does. I'm on my own.

This weak little girl has now come to a resolution. That I must do something. Because I have had enough. I am tired of this unpleasant life, tired of pain and loss. I must do something to change it. I must escape...

Nil, Out (hopefully right out of my cell!)

Day 45

Very slowly, I have continued to recover. I am at last, nearly back to normal. Once again, now that the hallucinations are over, I have not even once seen anything strange. Which bugs and concerns me. I'm used to seeing Mousy, Derrick, the Hooded Man, bugs in my food, holes in the wall, something. To not see anything makes me worry that my mind has been at last damaged beyond all repair. And I miss my Snoopy Cap. It almost doesn't seem worth living without it.

Still, not a single doctor has come by, leaving me to wonder if they have all but forgotten about me. It's almost heartening meaning they will no longer torture me with poisons. But I do miss Hammy and the fact that he did seem to care.

Other than sleep, there's not really anything to do in here. And since I don't do this 'dreaming' thing that Dr. Higgins is so obsessed with, even sleep isn't much fun, just an empty blackness.

I probably will not write for a while, my Bookish Friend, maybe never again. I'm kind of wondering what the point of even bothering to live is. It's not like I'm achieving anything in life...

Nil, Out (perhaps permanently)

Day 61

Wow. Today has been... eventful. I'm sure you're glad to see me back after my last entry. At least, I hope you're glad. All I have to say is that I owe my life to Dr. Hammy. Waking up from one more weary night of being alone, fearful that the opening door was herald to some new monster, I found myself face to face with Hammy.

He looked furtive, sneaky, like he wasn't supposed to be there and knew it. I waved at him.

"So, what's up, Hamster?" I was rather surprised at how casual I sounded.

Hammy knelt down beside me. He looked sad, near tears almost. Which surprised me. I'd long ago decided he didn't care afterall. It had been so long since I'd last seen him.

"You look awful, Nil."

"I feel awful. Where have you been, Hammy? It has to have been almost a month."

He nodded sadly.

"Yes, almost a month. They banned you from all human contact. Not even Dr. Sirius was allowed to visit you any longer. I've tried my best to get them to lift it, though they've threatened to fire me twice already."

I laughed. It was not a pleasant laugh that came from my throat and I wished I could take it back.

"So you cared more about your job than helping me, is that it Hammy? You waited until they lifted the ban to come visit, try and be my friend again?" I didn't want the accusation to be too evident in my voice, though by the look on his face I knew he heard it all the same.

"Nil," he said quietly, the almost tears within his eyes more evident than ever. "The ban was never lifted. I didn't get permission to visit you."

I blinked. I didn't know what to say.

"B-but if you get caught..."

"Then my job is forfeit."

I stared at him, unbelieving that someone would go to those depths for crazy little me.

"I have something for you," he said, raising his hands, a gift held in each. I had been so concentrated on his face, daring lies to appear within his eyes, that I hadn't noticed at all what he was holding. He placed a bowl full of hot food beside me, some kind of rice with veggies and stuff on it. It looked mouthwateringly delicious. By my attention was riveted upon the object he held in his other hand. It was my Snoopy Cap...

Gingerly, as if it were some precious, fragile object, I took it out of Hammy's hands. I turned it round and round in my own, disbelieving that I was really holding it. I placed it on my head and cried, leaning forward and embracing Hammy in a hug, crying against his shoulder.

Never in my life have I been so thankful or felt like I truly had someone on my side. We both cried an awful lot, though I think Hammy cried more than me.

We talked for a while afterwards about how things had been for both of us. We talked and he promised that he would do what he could to get me moved back to my old room. I actually found myself trusting him, something I've never before done with anybody. If someone can help me, then it will be Hammy. He is my friend.

"I have to leave now," he said after a while, rising from where he'd been seated beside me. "I can't be gone too long from my other duties or they might get suspicious. There are no cameras in this room or even nearby, so unless someone physically catches me here, there is no proof that I've visited you."

Well that was a bit creepy. Apparently whatever happened in this room was meant to stay here. But hey, as long as it helps Hammy out, then it's okay with me!

He hugged me one last time and left, hurrying off to whatever conniving he was up to in his efforts to free me from this prison.

I, of course, still had my Snoopy Cap on. Ever since Hammy had given it back to me, and I had no intention of removing it. Even while sleeping I would wear it. Never again will this Cap leave my head.

It seems hardly anytime at all had passed since I got the Cap back, before all the weirdness started up again. Which was cool I guess, since the absence of it had worried me.

Things started with the reappearance of the Mushrooms, which I was glad to see. They sprouted up from the floor, like blades of grass growing at high speed, till they covered most everything around me. They weren't screaming, just hanging out. All in all, I was rather happy to see them back.

Some kind of bat thing appeared next. I'm not sure where it came from. One moment I was alone save for the Mushrooms, the next I heard the skittering of tiny claws on the ceiling and looked up to see it crawling erratically back and forth.

It was more like a bat shadow than anything else, its features vague, undefined, as if it only half-existed. Though it had wings it never flew, and it moved without evident purpose, randomly, chaotically. It seemed vaguely menacing, though I decided to ignore it after watching it for several minutes. It didn't seem to pose any immediate threat.

After gently stroking the Mushrooms for a bit, to let them know that somebody cared, I settled down on my cot to wait for Siegfried to come back. He'd have some answers for me with any luck.

At least an hour must have passed, and I grew more and more frustrated in that slug's tardiness. But then, to my surprise and utmost joy, a familiar and much beloved rustling arose from the wall behind me.

I turned to see a tiny hole opening in the wall, right before Mousy shot out of it, landing with a squishy sound on the floor. The hole closed up a moment later, as if it had never been. Mousy rustled once more, shook himself, and scurried over to my outstretched hand. I closed it around him, lifting my arm up and maneuvering the little guy onto my shoulder.

Really, I cannot express how happy I am. Not only do I have a friend in Hammy and have my Snoopy Cap back, but Mousy too has returned.

For the first time in ages, I have hope in my life. It's something I've never really had before, to any degree at all. I'm actually starting to believe that with the aid of my friends, I might not only escape this Hellish dungeon, but the whole cursed building!

Things are looking up. I can finally see the light.

Nil, Out!

Day 62

Things have taken an interesting turn. I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, so happy at yesterday's events. I thought about going back to sleep, but the sunrays of hope caressed my face, making it difficult to keep my eyes shut.

I opened them reluctantly, and then opened them a great deal wider when I saw the door to my cell wide open. A trail of the screaming Mushrooms, currently silent, led off into the distance. Both Siegfried and Mousy were sitting on the floor watching me.

I frowned.

"You two know each other don't you?"

They shared a glance and then Siegfried nodded.

"There is little time for discussion, Nillium Neems. The path has been opened for you. It is up to you to choose which one you will take."

"Well, obviously I'd prefer the one that takes me out of this place."

"Then go." Siegfried replied. "Go, but not for your own selfish reasons. If you do what you can to free the lost souls of this building, then all of my wishes and aid go with you. If you simply leave Atrium to free yourself, but leave the others to rot, then may all the demons of Hell descend upon you."

And with those thought provoking words, Siegfried faded from view, leaving me alone with Mousy and the Mushrooms. I looked at the little rodent thing.

"What do you think, Mousy? Should I follow the Mushrooms?"

He rustled and set off down the fungoid path, stopping a few feet outside the door and turning back to look at me expectantly. I shrugged and set off after him.

Down the hall, around the corner, down another hall, the Mushrooms seemed to have plotted a route all the way out of Atrium. I let Mousy take point as scout, running a little ahead to warn me of any impending wardens.

There didn't seem to be much foot traffic however in this part of the Ward. I began to suspect that I was in a basement somewhere, a section of Atrium that was little used. Or forbidden.

As I followed the path I passed several locked rooms, stopping to listen at the door of one of them. Only silence greeted me. I was either alone, or whoever else was down here was sleeping, drugged, or dead. And there were an awful lot of locked doors...

The place was a labyrinth. If it had not been for the Mushrooms, I would have lost my way a long time ago. Feeling confident that there would be no doctors down here, I picked up the pace.

Only the warning rustle of Mousy as he turned a corner, alerted me that we weren't alone. He zoomed back towards me, up my leg and onto my head, quivering silently. I stopped, back to the wall, listening.

Nothing. Not a step, not a breath. I was certainly holding my own breath, lest it mask the sound of an approaching doctor. Then I heard it. A dragging sound like someone with a hurt foot. Drag, step. Drag, step. Someone was limping and whispering of death, his muttered words bouncing off the walls of the hallway and reaching my ears all too clearly.

I turned and ran. Wherever the Mushrooms were leading me, it would have to wait. I'd need to find a way around the Hooded Man first. My Snoopy Cap would have fallen off in my haste, but Mousy clutched it tightly with his front paws, holding onto my hair with his back ones. He peeked out from beneath the Cap like a mouse from its hole.

Left, right, another right, I ran without caring where I went, just that I was away. Thankfully, my bare feet made little sound as I ran, just a gentle slap that surely couldn't be heard from too great a distance.

Mousy rustled again and I turned, fearful that the monstrosity was bearing down on me. We were alone. But there, just to my left, was a set of old, rusty looking stairs, leading upwards. If it hadn't been for my rodent companion I would have run right past them.

Reaching up and stroking his gooey little head, I took the stairs two at a time. I found myself on a much more illuminated, cheerful looking floor when I reached the top. At least, cheerful compared to the dungeon that we had just fled from. It still had the same, sterile creepiness as the rest of the Ward.

Siegfried's words came back to haunt me.

"If you simply leave Atrium to free yourself, but leave the others to rot, then may all the demons of Hell descend upon you."

Well screw that. There was nothing I could do for the lost souls of this evil little world. I was one small girl, all alone and weaponless. I just wanted out. Out, into the world of freedom that I had only briefly known.

I continued walking, slower now, for the signs that this floor was inhabited became increasingly apparent. Rooms I passed were brightly lit, the sound of voices behind closed doors reached my ears, and the distant tap of shoes against the floor. I twice saw wardens in the distance, patrolling the area.

There was nowhere really to hide, so I'd just have to rely on silence to keep me from discovery. I picked up the pace once more, silent yet quick. The suspense ate at my nerves, until my whole body was twanging with tension, ready to take flight at any moment.

A door on my right opened just as I walked past, a doctor walking slowly out, reading off a clipboard. He glanced up and his eyes grew wide with surprise. I had only seconds before he sounded the alarm.

"Would you believe I'm a travelling saleswoman, trying to sale only the highest quality Charlie Brown-themed baseball caps?" I asked, doffing my Snoopy Cap and holding it out before me. Which was a mistake, because it revealed the strange little mouse creature sitting on my head.

The doctor screamed and fled. I figured it was best I did the same. I put the Cap snugly back on my head, relying on Mousy to keep it there, and ran as fast as I could, no longer caring about silence.

There was a shout behind me. Whether it was aimed at me or the terrified doctor, I didn't know. I just ran, flat out down the hall, as fast as my little feet would carry me.

We hit another set of stairs, leading up to the second floor. I was back in familiar territory now, on the same floor as my old room. It was mildly comforting.

In alarm, I realized just how close I really was to my room, spotting the corner where Derrick had led me into an ambush. With a smile, I also realized that the room where I'd met the Killer and dropped my journal was nearby. According to the doctors it did not exist, meaning I would be safe from discovery within it.

Running towards it, hoping that it did still exist for me, I laughed aloud when I saw the door. I just hoped the Killer wasn't still in there. I opened it and dived inside, slamming the door shut behind me. I leaned against it, holding the door knob still with my hand. Minutes passed by before I heard shouting and running footsteps. They continued on past the door, soon fading further down the hallway. I was safe.

Letting out a smug sigh of relief, I turned to observe the contents of this mystery room, hoping that I would not find the Killer standing there waiting, knife in hand. I was alone.

The room was just like that of any patient, with a bed, an empty shelf, and a small toilet being the only furnishings. It was perhaps darker than it should have been, the whole room having a kind of gloom over it. But if gloom was all I faced, then I could deal with that. My whole life I had lived in gloom.

There was no body though, no sign of the patient whose murder I had walked in on. Not even any blood stains. Well, the doctors did through all their lies claim I was schizophrenic. Maybe I had imagined it? But it was no time to start doubting myself now. If I started doubting all that I'd been through and seen, where would that leave me?

"Do you think I'm crazy, Mousy?" I asked, reaching up and gently plucking him off my head, bringing him down to eye level.

He rustled. I took it as a reassuring sort of rustle that meant he trusted my sanity. At least, I hoped that's what it meant. He leapt out of my hands and scampered across the floor into a corner. I followed him with my eyes and noticed with delight that he had found my journal.

That made me happy. Picking it up and thumbing through it to make sure all was as it should be, I took a seat on the bed to rest my weary feet. Only then did I realize just how tired I was. I laid my head back, intending to rest for just a few minutes and regain at least a little of my flagging energy. At some point, sleep took me, my body exhausted from the day's endeavors...

Nil, Out (out cold, ha ha ha!)

Day 63

This morning was particularly disturbing, even considering all the strangeness that is so common to my life. I woke up to find the odd gloom that I had noticed upon entering the room to be thicker, almost like fog. Worse, there was a slightly blurry human head stained into the floor, its mouth opened in a silent scream. The head was about five feet by five feet in width, and I suspected it was that of the patient who had been slain by the Killer. I hadn't been seeing things afterall.

I should have been freaked out, but I was more sad than anything. I knelt down beside the face and placed one hand gently upon it.

"I'm no hero," I said quietly. "I can't stop the Killer and avenge you. I'm just a little girl. Scared and fragile. I'm just Nillium Neems, no one more."

The face just stared back at me. I felt it was mocking my decision. I glanced over at Mousy who was still with me, asleep on his side and rustling contentedly. That gave me some comfort. I picked the little guy up.

"Wake up, Mousy. It's time to get started."

He let out a snort-like rustle and blinked his eyes open, staring up at me. I saw something more than just rodent intelligence looking out of his ever-blue eyes, and for the first time started to wonder just what Mousy truly was.

I put him back on my head, stuffed the Snoopy Cap over him, and headed for the door. I glanced back once at the face on the floor.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, and then turned back to the door, cracking it open to peer outside. There was nobody in sight, so I edged my way silently out. It occurred to me with approaching joy that I'd spent the night away from my cell. A night doing what I wanted to do, instead of what the doctors demanded. My heart lifting a little at that, I set off down the hall, not really sure what my goal was now.

Figuring I might as well head upwards, I went in the opposite direction of where Derrick had led me before, moving quickly. I passed my old room on the way, unable to resist the urge to stop and look through the little window that was set into the door.

It was exactly as I had left it. The Book sat back on the shelf, the Pocket Watch right below it. And look! There was that stupid clock, up on the wall above, surely telling the wrong time. I almost laughed aloud at how much that clock had angered me. It seemed so small and pathetic in its tiny defiance of me, the worst it could do being to get the time wrong.

Not able to help myself, I turned the door knob. I almost leapt back in shock when it opened. My door was unlocked...

Smiling now, I walked inside, careful not to shut it behind me just in case it decided to lock itself, and I wandered over to my little shelf. I picked up the Book and my Pocket Watch, wishing that I had pockets to put them in. The Book was weird, but it was mine and I was happy to have it back. As it was, I would just have to hold my reclaimed possessions.

I turned to leave, knowing it was foolish to dawdle. But glancing back once, taking in that space where I had spent most of my life just one last time, I saw the hole in the wall. The one Mousy had discovered what seemed like years ago and where I'd felt something hard and smooth within.

Stepping quickly to it and plunging my hand inside, I rummaged around and felt it brush against that same, strange object that it had before. It was like a pipe, though it didn't feel as smooth as metal and was somewhat sticky to the touch.

Gripping hard on it, I twisted it this way and that, attempting to pull it loose. Not only did it prove difficult to fit through the hole, but whatever stickiness covered it seemed to hold it in place as if it were glued to the innards of the wall. Gritting my teeth, bracing both feet against the wall, I tugged with all of my might and felt it start to loosen.

Breathing hard, I sat back to rest for a moment. Mousy rustled encouragingly. Heartened, I reached back in and pulled once more. There was a pop as the object broke loose from its bonds. I turned it around a few times until it was at the right angle to fit through the whole.

Pulling it out, I can't say I was surprised when it turned out to be a human leg bone. Sticky with some kind of gunk that looked suspiciously like dried blood, the bone was yellow with age. It was like some gruesome remnant from a pharaoh's tomb. The blood, if it was blood, seemed to still be in the process of drying. I held it in front of Mousy for inspection, and he looked just as perplexed as I was.

"Why are there bones in the walls?" I said quietly to myself, turning it this way and that.

There was a rustling within the walls. But Mousy was out here with me, which meant it was the other sort of rustling. The kind that I never wanted to hear. I looked down at the hole to see Derrick worming his way out, at one moment small enough to fit in there, but rapidly growing back to his normal size.

With a shout of rage I swung at him with the bone I still held, but he was too quick for me and scurried around to the other side of my bed, so that it stood protectively between us. The bone shattered harmlessly against the floor, sending its remnants in all directions.

"How dare you show your face back here!" I screamed at Derrick, raising my fists.

He hissed at me in annoyance.

"I am not here to play games," he gargled at me. "I am here for repentance, to atone for my betrayal."

"And how do you intend to do that?" I asked, circling the bed towards him. I lunged. Derrick was a speedy fellow and dodged deftly to the side, somehow making his way up the wall and perching atop my untrustworthy clock. His legs dangled down in front of it.

"I will show you a way out," he said, holding up a hand for me to stop. "A way to freedom."

"Don't lie to me, Derrick!' I replied, though he paid little attention to my anger. He almost looked smug, staring down at me. At least that was, until Mousy bit him.

Forgotten by both of us, Mousy had made his own way up the wall to the clock. He'd latched onto Derrick's foot with all of the strength that his tiny form held, making the bogeyman howl in pain. Derrick tumbled down from the clock and landed in a heap on the floor.

I walked over to him and placed one foot almost delicately on his chest. My hand, seemingly of its own volition, found its way around his throat.

"Tell me everything that you can, Derrick. Every word of help you can speak or you're dead."

He just whimpered in reply, small green tears running from his eyes.

"Well?" I asked, tightening my grip.

"No fair!" he gurgled, and I realized that he was more angry than scared. "You're not playing fair!"

I tightened my grip further, until the little monster whimpered.

"Alright, alright, what do you want from me, my sweet?"

"Anything that you can give me that might help," I told him smugly. "Anything and everything."

Needless to say, I was feeling pretty good about myself at that moment. For once in my life, I wasn't the victim and actually had some measure of power against one who had caused me harm. Derrick stared up at me with his beady little eyes. Mousy made his way down from the clock and sat on the floor beside me, eyeing Derrick warily.

"Who is Siegfried?" I asked him, loosening my grip just slightly so that he could respond. "What role does he play in all of this?"

Derrick's face clouded with annoyance.

"You ask me of him? That fool?"

"Yes, Derrick. Who is he?"

Derrick spat in disgust. The spit landed right on my arm and then actually moved off and down to the floor, crawling away into a corner. I tried not to pay it any attention.

"Siegfried and your little mousy mouse are nothing. Worms. Fools with a hopeless dream and a useless cause. Forget them, my sweet."

I hit him across the face. Hard.

"Call me 'my sweet' one more time, and it will go very hard with you Derrick."

He whimpered again. I couldn't tell if his fear was real or if he was planning to wriggle away somehow. I tightened up my grip just in case.

"Don't hurt me," he choked out. "Please, waste no more time on thoughts of slugs and mice. We must think of escape. Nillium Neems, the Director of this place, this heart, this Atrium, cannot be slain. Siegfried's cause is hopeless and will lead you, lead us, only to death. Death, and worms, and rot. We will escape, escape, together you and I. That is the way, the only way, the way."

I stared hard into his mean little eyes. I saw a lot of things in there, a lot of wickedness, but I also saw truth. The maniac was sincere. He wanted escape as bad as me. In some way or another, he was as much a prisoner as I was.

"If you want my help to escape, why did you lead me right into the Wardens hands last time?" I asked.

Derrick smiled, a twisted, rotten little smile.

"I could not resist! Escape was my want, my way, my wish, but... it was too tempting. I could not help myself."

My eyes narrowed and Derrick realized he'd said just the wrong thing.

"But, but I will not betray you this time," he blurted out quickly, tripping over his own tongue. "I will not, will not, will not. We will escape together, freedom, freedom at last."

I opened my mouth to reply, but was interrupted when the door opened. The Hooded Man stood framed in the doorway, hooks dangling from their chains and resting on the ground. He then started towards us, left foot limping.

Cackling with mad glee, Derrick slipped out of my grip and headed for the door, sidling around the Hooded Man. He almost made it before one of those deadly hooks tripped him up, dragging his prone body beneath the Hooded Man's cloak.

I watched in paralyzed terror as Derrick's screams rent the air, so loud it was like nothing I'd heard before. I don't know what the Hooded Man did to him beneath that cloak, but as he finished and began walking once more towards me, what was left of Derrick trailed out behind him. And it was not very much...

I picked Mousy up from the floor and shoved him through the hole in the wall, so that at least he might be safe. I then turned back to face the Hooded Man.

"I know what you are, Tormentor!" I said frantically, searching for something, anything that might slow down this abomination. "Siegfried told me all about your kind."

The Hooded Man didn't even break stride, walking till he had me cornered against a wall. He reached out a pale hand towards me, stroking my cheek and whispering of death. Fear overcame me, stark, raving terror. Lines of a poem I'd written long ago, came back to me, a poem that I wrote to give me courage against the fear.

Who is the Hooded Man / that monster with his chains... One of his hooks snaked out, wrapping around my ankle... Whisperer of death / till no life yet remains... It tugged hard, yanking me off my feet... A stranger in the dark / the sum of all our fears... I struggled up, dazed, but was knocked once more to the ground... No weapon can assail him / neither sword nor pleas nor tears... My head hit hard as I fell and my vision swam... An unstoppable assassin / a Tyrant if you will... Fear was all I felt, so much fear... No one left to stop him / no one left but Nil...

As I lay there, waiting for him to strike again, my mind raced. No one left but Nil. The wardens, the doctors, everyone was oblivious to this creature. If he killed me now, who would stop him? Would he go on to torment others, other patients like Jeremy, like Lana, even crazy little Harold? No one left to stop him. No one but me...

I got to my feet, facing the monster. That was when I changed. I don't know if it was my confidence in standing up to Derrick only moments before, or my new found freedom, but I was done being afraid. Done being afraid of every single one of them. Done being a victim.

As the Hooded Man reached out his hand once more, I grabbed it and bit it, bit it hard. It evoked an unexpected chuckle from the Tormentor, who otherwise seemed unfazed. Frowning, I yanked hard at his arm and heard a pop as it came loose and fell to the floor. I found myself staring at nothing but your basic, decayed human arm.

My eyes traveled upwards from the arm, to the two ugly yellow lights beneath his hood. One of them winked and I heard the rattle of chains as his hooks once more wrapped around my feet, sweeping them out from under me once more.

I fell and it hurt, but I couldn't let it stop me. I had to act fast before he finished me. I struggled upright but the hook wrapped tighter around my foot and pulled, knocking me right back to the ground. He wanted my fear and would continue this game as long as he could before finally killing me.

With that in mind, I pretended to be trying to get back to my feet, smiling inside at the fact that he was letting me. Then I lashed out with a shout of anger, letting my fist fly towards whatever excuse for a face lay hidden beneath his hood.

My fist met with nothing but sharpness and pain, though he did take a step back from the impact. I stared in horror at the mangled flesh of my hand, while the Hooded Man laughed and swept my feet from under me yet again.

Tears and blood ran into my eyes, clouding my vision, and I know I was crying for it all to end. The jig was up now that I was fighting back, and I felt those hooks grab me and drag me towards the cloak, towards whatever fate Derrick suffered. I grabbed the edge of the rough fabric and tugged, an unexpected move that made him stumble and nearly fall.

Taking advantage of the moment, I yanked sharply to the left and the Hooded Man toppled sideways, falling to the ground beside me. I scrambled to my feet and headed for the door, stopping in my tracks as I heard the soft slither of falling fabric behind me. I turned as the cloak and hood fell to the ground, revealing the previously hidden form beneath.

It was... like clockwork. The twisted innards of some insane timepiece, all cogs and chains, blades and hooks, and strange things not of this world. Everything was pointed and sharp. It was no wonder I had cut my hand, for his face was like gears made of saw blades, turning and whirring as they sliced through the air. Remnants of Derrick dripped from his torso as it opened and closed like some obscene clawed cage. The two lights on his face, tiny supernovas of hatred, narrowed dangerously as he looked at me.

I was standing now a little outside the door and could have fled so easily from this horror. But I didn't. For things had changed now and I was no longer merely content to flee. I wanted to ensure first that there was as little as possible to flee from.

So I stood my ground as the monstrosity got to its feet and came at me, it's one dead arm outreached in a claw, hooks writhing across the ground behind it like so many worms. Feet away, the hooks raised into the air, aiming towards my throat as the Hooded Man continued to charge. He was done playing cat and mouse with me and wanted my blood. But I didn't intend to let him have it...

I waited till the last moment and then slammed the door in his face. The satisfying crunch of metal rewarded me as he collided. Opening it, I grabbed his prone body by its bladed foot, regardless of the pain, and dragged him forwards until his head was in range of my new weapon. With a grim look on my face, I slammed the door once more, crushing the Picasso of metalwork that formed his head. He twitched and started to sit up, but I just slammed the door once again, over and over, until his form was just twisted parts, whirring uselessly like broken gears.

There was a last feeble movement from the Hooded Man, a tiny remnant of whatever mockery of life had animated him. Then he was still. Still and dead, able to torture me no more. It was followed by a sudden flash of light that engulfed his corpse and filled the whole room, forcing me to shield my eyes. It only lasted for a moment, but I stared in awe at the sight that was left behind.

The Hooded Man was gone, a small yellow flower growing out of the floor where he had fallen. It was beautiful, like nothing I'd seen, large yellow petals damp as if with dew, glistening in the sunlight. There was no sunlight and there was no way there should have been dew, yet both adorned the flower all the same. It spoke of hope and of light. I looked up from it, a smile on my face, and realized with alarm that my whole room had changed.

It looked as if brand new, bright and shiny, almost cheerful in appearance. The bed looked comfy and soft, my shelf larger and painted a nice blue, and the hole in the wall was gone. Everything just seemed better. And the clock! That evil clock was dead and gone, replaced by a cute painting of a girl in a field of yellow flowers. I looked at that painting for a while, actually smiling at how happy that girl made me, until I saw that it was me! A different me, a... happier me. A me that was full of joy and picking flowers.

I glanced between the flower on the floor and the painting on the wall. There was something there. I wasn't sure what, but it was there all the same. I walked over to the bed, a deep blue like the shelf and full of warmth.

Somehow I found myself upon it, laying my head back upon the soft pillows. Tired from my endeavors, not caring now if anyone found me, I fell asleep in exhaustion. I feel like my life has begun anew.

Nil, Out.

Day 64

I slept soundly and undisturbed. Since I'd been moved to the room with the Mushrooms, this one had remained unoccupied. It occurred to me with a smile that I could probably just camp out here indefinitely and no one would ever know. I'd need food, but maybe Mousy could help scrounge that up for me.

For a while I just lay with my eyes closed, enjoying the peace and safety, thinking over what had happened the day before. I'd won. I'd faced my worst fear, the Hooded Man, and beat him. Nothing could stop me now. I was getting out. I was going to win my freedom.

Deciding there was no point in waiting around any longer, I opened my eyes and found myself bathed in a warming light, as if the sun were peeking through an open window. There was no window. Frowning, I pushed myself up with my hands and felt a sharp pain shoot through the right one.

Panicking as all the memories of how badly damaged it was came flooding back to me, I raised it up to my eyes, expecting to see little more than a bloody stump. All of my fingers were intact and all that marred my pale flesh were tiny wounds, little more than paper cuts. I flexed my fingers once or twice just to make sure and found them in perfect working order. My hand had mostly healed overnight...

An image of Siegfried popped into my mind, and I wondered just what his role in all of this was. My eyes wandered to Mousy, snoring restlessly (or rustlessly, as he made that signature sound instead of snorts) as he lay on the foot of the bed, like a miniscule guardian angel keeping watch.

I poked him gently and at once his blue eyes snapped open, swiveling back and forth. For just a moment, as I'd seen once before, there was something more in his eyes than his small form hinted at. Something all too human.

"Do you trust me, Mousy?" I asked him.

He looked up at me, the wariness of his eyes fading to be replaced by a softness that answered my question. Then he rustled once, a pointed yes.

"I trust you too, Mousy. You're the best friend I've got. So tell me what's going on. Who are you, who is Siegfried?"

He rustled again, a longer, protracted rustle, with more than a note of frustration in it. But I understood what he meant. Mousy wanted to help me understand, to answer all the questions he could. But he could only speak in rustle. He was able to help me, but unable to speak to me.

I nodded in understanding and reached a hand down to stroke his slightly jelly like head.

"It's alright, Mousy. Your company is enough. Once I track down that English-speaking slug, however, I will have some hard questions for him."

Mousy climbed onto my hand, up my arm, and then perched on my shoulder. It was time to get going. I got off the bed, grabbed my Snoopy Cap, and started to leave, turning back with regret to look at this haven of safety.

I then realized I had completely forgotten about my Pocket Watch and Book, both still sitting on my bright new shelf. If I was leaving, I wasn't leaving without both of them. Even if the book was creepy.

Moving over to pick them up, I saw that the Book had changed right along with the rest of the room. I flipped through its pages, finding most of the old stuff though the first bit, the Book of Ages, had been replaced by something called Genesis. I skimmed through it in confusion as it explained the beginning of mankind. It went on about some Adam and Eve characters, which was completely at odds with what the Book of Ages had said.

The Book of Ages had spoken of how we were descended from demons who had escaped from the uttermost pits of Hell long ago. None of this new, made from dust by God stuff. Needless to say, I was woefully confused.

Still, I didn't disregard it out of hand and kept such things in mind for future study. If this was Siegfried's doing perhaps he was trying to tell me something. So taking Book, Pocket Watch, and Journal, I set off to go be a hero.

Only partway down the hall outside my room, I stopped and leaned against a wall, feeling dizzy and nauseous. I had no idea what I was doing or how I would help the imprisoned patients of Atrium. Just because I wanted to, no longer so willing to flee the whole God-forsaken place, didn't mean I had a clue how to begin. I was no hero. I was just me.

Not sure where I was going, I began moving again, heading to the same room where I'd first found the killer. Holding all my stuff would only hinder me since I had no pockets to keep it in.

Making it to the room within a few minutes, not encountering a single warden, I hurried inside, glanced around for any waiting Killer, and stuffed my stuff under the mattress. I kept the Snoopy Cap of course. That would follow me to my grave.

Mousy hopped off my shoulder and scurried over to the door. He rustled quietly, warningly. On tiptoes, I headed over and opened the door the merest crack, peering outwards. The Killer was right outside, wandering slowly down the hallway, head bent and looking at the floor. His gaze roved left, then right, then back again, as if following invisible tracks. Tracks that were leading him right to the door that I hid behind.

I could have been scared. I probably should have been. But after standing up to the Hooded Man, I was done with all that. And I had an idea. The way the door was designed it opened both ways. And hey, it had worked against one Tormentor already.

Grinning like a maniac, I waited right up until his hand was on the doorknob before slamming it open, knocking the Killer off his feet. Then I grabbed Mousy and ran like a scared little girl down the hall. If only I could carry a door with me everywhere I could beat every monster in this place.

A lion-like roar echoed around the walls behind me, and I knew I'd only managed to tick him off. I was good at that. But now I'd found a stairwell leading upwards, and maybe just maybe he'd think I was still on this floor.

Taking the stairs two at a time, I was nearly at the top when I ran right into my buddy, Warden Copley, his back to me as he munched on pretzels. The salty snacks flew everywhere as we collided, bouncing down the stairs like so many scattered dreams.

I kicked him in the head while we were down, stunning him and scrambling to my feet. He yelled at me but I was already running up the stairs and away. Things were about to get desperate.

My feet skidded across the floor as I slid to a stop to avoid colliding with another surprised Warden. I gave him a sheepish grin, then punched him and ran down another turn of the hallway. Was my life to consist of just running down halls?

Crazy ideas ran through my mind as to how to get away; Starting a fire and burning the place to the ground (bad idea), explaining that it was all a big mistake and nothing was my fault (worse idea), and somehow finding a doctors coat and sneaking out of Atrium dressed like one of the staff. The last option appealed to me most, but then it occurred to me that I was awfully short. Every doctor in the building was taller than me and if I wore one of their coats I'd look like a little kid playing dress up. Sigh. And people think being a deranged mental patient is easy!

Alarms went off throughout the ward. Everyone would be hunting me now. Mousy rustled worriedly upon my shoulder, his eyes swiveling back and forth looking for a route of escape. There was none. It was all just hallway and random doors, leading either to offices or patients rooms.

One of them opened, a doctor I'd never seen before poking his head out to see what the hubbub was about. I waved at him cheerfully and smiled. He gave me a confused look. I gave him a thumbs up in return. Shaking his head, deciding he didn't want to deal with me, the doctor withdrew back into his office. I continued running, hoping to find some stairs leading up to the third floor.

A door opened a little further down from where I stood and a large mass slowly shambled out to confront me. It was hard to even tell what faced me, just a massive pile of stuff. I saw what looked like fire hoses, lots of what seemed to be moss, and bits of moldy hospital clothes and blankets.

The creature made a loud huffing sound, like a dog choking on a hairball, and then shambled menacingly towards me. It was like a walking pile of trash. Not even wanting to deal with this Shambler, I turned and ran back the way I'd come, taking a different turn in the hall that might offer a route of escape.

Within moments I found an old set of fire stairs and ran up them, slamming open the door at the top. Sunlight hit me in the face, forcing me to shield my eyes. The Tree from the yard rose towering above me, even here at the top of Atrium. I took it as a good sign.

As I turned away from it, hoping I might find some ladder or something leading straight down, a Warden hit me from behind with his baton. I tried to push myself back up with my arms, but the man kicked them out from under me. The sound of others running up the stairs assailed my ears, moments before they too joined in on the fun.

They hit me, again and again, bruising and breaking my helpless little body. I rolled onto my back, trying to protect myself with my arms as much as possible. It wasn't much use. Fully half of the attacking wardens were Monsters, who rather expectedly, were the ones that hit me the hardest.

I was down and out, poor me soon beaten into unconsciousness and hauled off to God knew where. The last thought I had before the darkness took me was a hope that my death would at least be quick.

Time passed. I'm not sure how long. Even here in the dark, I did not dream. So it seemed like only seconds before I woke up, finding myself strapped to a chair surrounded by doctors. Though I knew it had to have been longer than that.

I couldn't see too well, since one eye was swollen shut and the other was close, but I could make out Dr. Higgins. That man so obsessed with dreams who just could not believe I was incapable of the phenomena. Beside him stood the emotionless Dr. Sirius, and behind him was dear Dr. Flagham, wringing his hands nervously while watching me. There were a few other doctors standing about, some I knew and some I didn't, but Sirius and Higgins were the highlights.

A lesser doctor who stood in the corner, a man I'd always known as Dr. Cornwall, was obviously a Monster. He was grinning at me, though I'm sure no one noticed. I also spotted my Snoopy Cap, chucked uncaringly onto a table in the corner. That more than anything made my blood boil.

The doctors had been engaged in some kind of discussion, but broke it off once they saw I was awake. Sirius stepped forwards till he was right in front of me.

"Feeling well?" he asked calmly, a simple enquiry as if they hadn't just nearly beaten me to death.

"More so than you can ever imagine," I replied, thinking back to Siegfried telling me that I was not blind like the others but could See.

Dr. Sirius stared at me, perplexed by my answer. He then shook his head as if to dismiss anything I had to say as irrelevant.

"No matter," he confirmed, waving a hand and motioning two doctors I didn't know to step forward. "The Board of Directors have been apprised of your case and are in full concurrence with me that the only logical solution left to alter your dangerous behavior is a lobotomy. As you know, we take this drastic step with the utmost reluctance and only resort to it when left with no other choice."

He then adjusted some of the straps on my chair, moved some kind of metal arms into place, and clamped them around my head.

"Please reconsider," said Hammy, stepping forwards. I was overjoyed to see that there were actual tears in his eyes. "Nil isn't a bad girl, Dr. Sirius, she's a gentle soul. I know in my heart that she didn't hurt anyone. She just suffers from a mental disease, that is all."

"And that disease is called insanity," Sirius replied calmly, regarding Hammy with a disdainful look. "Proceed with the operation, gentleman." Two of the doctors started towards me.

"Don't listen to him!" shouted Hammy, stepping in front of them and shielding me from them. "I've talked to this girl many times and she is not evil! She is not insane! She does not deserve what you are about to do to her. A lobotomy is a crude and barbaric method of 'treatment' that has been banned in more than one place across the world. You can't just tear into someone's brain!"

Sirius held up a hand for his minions to halt. It was obvious that he was the head doctor here. He then waved the same hand questioningly at Hammy.

"Go on, Dr. Flagham."

Hammy took a step towards Sirius, taking courage from the fact that his words seemed to have effect.

"Nillium Neems is a sweet and logical girl. She suffers from schizophrenia, a disease which causes hallucinations. Hallucinations that she can see and hear, things that she believes to be real. But that does not make her insane. She is a young girl, Dr. Sirius. Only twenty years old."

"Twenty is old enough to commit murder, Dr. Flagham. And there are worse things in this Ward than a mere lobotomy. I would be thankful that a lobotomy is the extent of the treatment I recommend for her. I could suggest something more... severe to the Director of Atrium."

Hammy colored with anger, taking another step towards Sirius.

"Nil has told me, Dr. Sirius, about these 'monsters' that she sees. Though she does see hallucinations, I am half-inclined to believe that those monsters she fears are here in this very room!"

"Only half-inclined?" interjected Dr. Higgins, stepping up beside Sirius and raising an eyebrow. "Really, 'Hammy' you always were one for half measures. I've spoken to Sirius about your ineptness as a doctor on several occasions. He has always replied that you seem to do a decent enough job for us to keep you around. But now I'm hoping he might see things from my perspective?" he added, turning around to raise that questioning eyebrow towards Dr. Sirius.

Sirius pursed his lips for a moment in contemplation, his eyes flicking from me to poor Hammy, who still stood protectively before me, trembling a little with rage and perhaps fear.

"Dr. Flagham?" he asked, voice monotone. "I will ask you once. Are you with us or are you against us? Atrium Psychiatric Ward offers many lucrative opportunities for a dedicated doctor. You could go far..."

"I am against you," replied Hammy. I would have cheered if I could, for he said it without a note of hesitation, though his voice shook. "I do not like the way you do business here. I do not like the way patients are treated. I do not like the way that shock therapy or a lobotomy is always the answer, instead of trying to show a little kindness. I quit. And if you dare to harm poor Nil, then I will take this up at the highest level. I will see to it that you all get your just rewards, including the Director himself!"

Dr. Higgins went red and took a few angry steps towards Hammy before Sirius held up a warning hand.

"I am a fair and reasonable man, Dr. Flagham. Thus I'm willing to give you a chance to further explain yourself. Why do you feel so strongly about this girl, this 'Nil' person? What does she mean to you?"

Something in Hammy's countenance changed and I saw fear no longer present on his face. He seemed to stand a little taller, and the look of righteous anger he speared Sirius with made him seem like an entirely different man.

"I will tell you what she means," Hammy began, his voice coming out with a thick English accent. It was the voice of Siegfried. "Nillium Neems is the only hope this hell has for a future. The only hope that you all have. For we are done with being tormented, done with the sick experiments and the death and the fear that pervade this place. You are corrupt and evil men, but you do not realize, even in your villainy, that you are influenced by something far worse. You are controlled by a demon incarnate that uses horrors like the Hooded Man as mere play things, sating itself with the terror the Tormentors invoke."

"Who are you?" asked Higgins. "What kind of nonsense are you speaking, Flagham, what game are you playing?"

"Dr. Henry Flagham is still here," replied Siegfried, " and was kind enough to willingly let me confront you all. For he is starting to Believe. My own name is Siegfried Von Nillium, former director of Atrium Psychiatric Ward. Dedicated to helping the mentally challenged since I founded it fifty-one years ago, this was once a blessed place. As is known in the records of this Ward, assuming that you haven't destroyed them, I died in my office of a heart attack."

Anger began to enter Siegfried's voice as he continued.

"It was actually a carefully applied ten-milliliter syringe full of air into a vein, causing an air bubble to block my heart, but hey, it was the same effect so I guess that's all that matters. And since my unfortunate death, pathetic mongrels like you, Dr. Higgins, seem to have done your best to make a mockery of my work. The Director himself most of all. Now we, the spirits of the fallen, are done..."

"So you're telling me that you're some kind of ghost?" Higgins asked incredulously. "Do you really expect me to believe that garbage?"

Siegfried smiled thinly.

"It is debatable what the 'garbage' in this room might be. But believe me or not, I am telling you all, doctors and wardens alike, that you have one chance to be saved from the evil that has you in its grasp. And she," and here Siegfried pointed a quivering finger at me, still strapped into the torture chair, "is the only hope that we have."

Higgins opened his mouth to reply but Dr. Sirius shut him up with a raised hand.

"Obviously, Nillium is not the only one in this room who's hopelessly insane." he said it almost smugly, the first hint of emotion I'd heard from the man. "Grab and restrain Dr. Flagham please, gentlemen. It appears we have two patients in need of a little brain surgery."

As the two lesser doctors stepped forward to obey, Siegfried pulled a scalpel from his lab coat and lashed towards them, a long horizontal slice followed by a quick upwards thrust. Both doctors fell to the ground dead. Siegfried then turned and slashed my bonds. I slumped to the floor, free, but lacking the strength to get up.

"I know it hurts, Nil," he said softly, "but you have to run for our sake. Run and stop them. Stop every last one of them and confront the Director."

"You said your name was Siegfried Von Nillium?" I asked, getting a hand under me and pushing myself up, though every ache in my body protested. "Are we related?"

"I'm your father, Nil, slain by a power hungry fool. As soon as I clear the path you must run. The Director is on the third floor, west wing, office 33A. Two floors up from this one. Kill him. Any Tormentors you encounter, kill them too. This evil must end. Kill anyone who stands in your way. All of us are counting upon you, Nil."

I looked at Sirius, Higgins, and the few remaining doctors who stood between me and escape. All of them looked concerned by the threat of Siegfried\Hammy's scalpel except for Sirius.

"There are cameras in this room, Dr. Flagham," Sirius said calmly. "Security is already well aware of your actions, and I have no doubt they are being reported to the Director as we speak. Drop the scalpel and submit to us before you incur his wrath."

I thought that Siegfried would say something defiant or brave, but instead the color drained from his face. He was scared, the weapon trembling slightly in his hand.

"God protect you," he said quietly to me, and then charged towards Dr. Sirius, thrusting forwards with the scalpel.

It seemed as if time slowed in that moment, the blade in momentum but barely moving as a darkness descended upon the room. I saw it more in my mind's eye than in reality, a dark, swirling mist pouring from the ceiling and into the room. It hovered above us all, a looming storm cloud, a portent of an evil to come, before it condensed above Sirius. Pouring into the doctor, he started to quiver and spasm as if from seizure. His skin dried and flaked before my eyes, as if mummified in an instant, falling away and leaving nothing behind but a rotting skeleton. It grinned obscenely at us and its fingers lengthened into pointed claws.

I thought for a moment that Sirius was revealing his true nature, a hidden Tormentor all this time, but as all the other doctors started to transform as well, I knew it had to be the Director's doing. For not only did we now face a Skeleton, but four other creatures as well, surely Tormentors like the Killer and Hooded Man.

One doctor's flesh hardened into wood, turning a once ordinary looking man into a sick and Twisted Puppet, like some kind of wicked Pinocchio. Another melted before my eyes into a puddle of Green Ooze, one sludgy arm reaching up from the mass. Two more fell together and merged into one, a two headed and four armed Scarecrow, purple droplets dripping down his brow like sweat. And Dr. Higgins, poor Dr. Higgins, refused to obey his master and remained himself, flawed yet human.

The normal flow of time returned to the room and Siegfried's scalpel slammed uselessly into the Skeleton's torso, who lashed out in reply with a hooked claw. It nearly tore Siegfried in half, sending him flying across the room and slamming into a wall beside me. I staggered over to him and threw both arms around him, trying to lift him back to his feet but lacking the strength.

No longer was Siegfried present, for I saw the kindly eyes of a dying Hammy staring back at me.

"H-he showed me... everything!" he gasped, choking on blood. "I felt Siegfried's presence... and let him take me! Go, Nil. You are the only... shot we've got!"

"I love you, Hammy," I said, voice choked with tears. I've never been quite so sad in my life, nor cared so much for another person. "You were always there for me when others weren't. I love you..."

I doubt he heard my last words, for he was already falling backwards, eyes glazed over with death. The stricken, wonderful, kindly Dr. Henry Flagham, my friend Hammy, breathed his last.

I didn't have much time to mourn though, for I felt the Twisted Puppet's wooden hand grasp me from behind by the hair. He yanked backwards till I fell hard onto the floor. I heard the hiss of burning skin and realized it was my own as the Scarecrow's purple sweat dripped on me. The Tormentor stared down mockingly at my prone body while the Twisted Puppet stood beside him.

The Skeleton that had once been Dr. Sirius was a little ways off, standing before the door so as to block any easy escape. As to where the Green Ooze had slimed off to I had no idea.

"Are you going to kill me now?" I asked, realizing with sadness that I was at their mercy.

Puppet and Scarecrow laughed, while Skeleton remained silent, apparently as emotionless as he had been in life.

"You don't realize," said the Scarecrow's right head, while the left just hissed, "that you are already dead, Nillium Neems. You have no life. You have nothing. Just a purposeless little entity existing solely to annoy us."

"And though your fear is sweet to us," the Twisted Puppet added, "it is time for this annoyance to cease. For it is rare the Director himself must personally intervene, but you have gone too far. This must stop." and with that said, he launched a fist down towards my head...

Which was caught! Caught by a hand formed of Mushrooms that sprouted from the floor, the very same fungi that I had met before, who had led me away from my dungeon cell. It was then that it occurred to me that although Hammy was dead, Siegfried was still around, watching over me.

"Cover your ears, Nil," he spoke in a whisper. Just after I did so, still lying prone upon the ground, the Mushrooms unleashed their screaming wail, filled with anger instead of anguish.

All four Tormentors screamed in agony and I knew this would be my only chance. Hauling myself to my feet, I ran for the door, the squish of Mushrooms behind me as I knew not what Tormentor attacked them.

Of course, the Skeleton still blocked my path, but he had been fazed enough to allow me to duck under his legs and take off running down the hallway. It hurt and I couldn't run well because of my injuries, but I really didn't have much choice. So I staggered along as best I could.

I didn't even bother to try and sort out all I had learned while I ran, for I was obviously caught between two supernatural forces. The spirits of the former patients led by my apparent father, Siegfried, versus whatever sick-minded demons from Hell the Tormentors were. Stuff like that can be a bit overwhelming for a young girl like myself. I vowed to God or whoever might be listening, that when I finally came upon the Director him and me were going to have some words.

Only seconds passed before I heard a clattering behind me, tiny claws scrabbling against the tiled floor. I turned as I ran to see what evil was overtaking me, and to my utmost joy it was my Snoopy Cap!!

Happily bouncing along as it caught up to me, I slowed to pick it up, wondering if perhaps it had developed a spirit of its own. Clamping my fingers around its brim, I lifted if off the ground, Mousy dropping out from beneath it beside my foot. I plucked him off the ground and brought him up to my shoulder, so happy that I kissed him atop his rodent head. I then put the Cap over my head and new determination seemed to flood through my being.

I started running again, already breathing hard, but there was no way I was giving up now, not now that I had my Snoopy Cap. The chase was on!

Minutes passed as I ran, and I began to wonder why they didn't seem to be catching up to me. Sirius's threat of ever-watching security cameras came back to me, and it occurred to me that they were probably just doing things the smart way. Camp-ing out somewhere while somebody kept track on the cameras, just waiting for the opportunity to lay an ambush.

So I did something I hadn't done in a long, long time. I knelt in prayer. I prayed for God, if there was a God, to strike down my foes with thunderbolts. I prayed for Him to give me a solution. I prayed for Him to guide me to the Director and somehow, someway, help me kill that monster. I prayed for everything that might help me, so that I could stop this evil and finally have a life for the first time since I was born. But most of all I prayed for light. Light to banish the gathering darkness, take away the monsters that tortured me in this endless night, and bring forth a new day full of peace and safety.

None of those things happened. I felt let down. Wasn't God supposed to listen to your prayers? Maybe he only listened to your prayers if you were a good person. Which I'm not fully sure that I am. Or maybe it just took time. Time that I didn't have. Whatever the answer, I took a few deep breaths and started running again, figuring that I'd better take out the security cameras first so I might make it to the Director's lair undetected. I had only a hazy idea of where the camera room was, though I knew for sure it was on the first floor. Which conveniently, according to Siegfried, was the one I was on. I continued running, stopping briefly to catch my breath whenever I dared.

Alarms were going off all over the building and I heard the sound of running footsteps in the distance. Either wardens or Tormentors, I wasn't sure. The footsteps grew closer so I slammed open a door and dived inside, hoping they'd pass me by.

But as you should know by now, my Bookish Friend, luck is never on my side. I was in a room full of doctors, all turning to look at me in surprise upon my entry. They started to spasm and shake, features turning strangely glassy as they began to transform not into Tormentors, but into Monsters. Which I guess was a slight improvement...

Not wanting to stick around, I dived back out of the door, colliding with two wardens who had been running by. We all hit the ground in a tumble but I reacted quicker, kicking out with a foot and catching one of them on the chin. The second grabbed at me, wrapping his hand around my arm until I bit him. Hard. He screamed in pain and I took the chance to scramble to my feet and take off at a fast hobble.

I glanced back to see them too transforming, no longer rolling on the floor in pain, but with those odd, seizure-like movements that heralded a transformation. They were turning into those same, glassy-looking Monsters like the rest of them.

The wardens and doctors fortunately seemed slower in Monster form, but I was none too fast myself at the time. We were about evenly matched in speed, though at this point I was outnumbered twelve to one, a whole swarm of the creatures having gathered in pursuit behind me.

A chilling thought occurred to me as I continued to flee. Unless the Director himself was in the security room watching every single video screen with unflinching diligence, then the fact that his minions transformed almost instantly upon spotting me meant something worse... He could see whatever any of them could see. I did not like that thought.

As much as I disliked it though, I couldn't keep up the pace much longer. My breath had grown ragged and my legs were on fire. I made it to the nearest door, almost collapsing against it before wrenching it open. Staggering inside, I slammed it shut, feeling desperately for a lock of some kind. To my utmost delight, my hand met the hard metal of a deadbolt which I promptly slid shut. The door was locked.

My pursuers piled into it behind me, shaking the frame with the force of their impact, but it held fast. I smiled and at last turned to survey the room I was in, hoping there might be another exit.

It was at that moment that I had an unusual mixture of both good and bad luck. Good: I had inadvertently wandered into the security room, one wall full of TV screens displaying what each and every security camera throughout Atrium could see. Bad: Not only was there no other exit in the room, but there were also three surprised looking wardens, already starting to spasm with the telltale signs of a forthcoming transformation into a Monster.

I ran forward and grabbed the nearest one, slamming his head into the wall before the transformation could complete. Rather conveniently, it knocked him unconscious, just leaving me two foes to deal with instead of three.

Both who remained began grinning at me in a strange, unnatural sort of way, as if their expressions were just pasted on to an otherwise emotionless dummy. The door behind me shook once more as the darkness without closed in.

"Why do you follow the Director so willingly?" I asked, stalling for time. "What can he really offer you?"

They didn't reply, slowly walking towards me until my back hit the wall. Apparently they savored fear just as much as Tormentors did.

"Unlock the door," one of them said, his voice sounding just like the falsity portrayed on his face. "Unlock the door and you live."

"Are you truly going to let the Director control your every action?" I asked, still trying to stall until some saving strategy occurred to me.

The one who had spoken reached out a hand towards me as if to strangle, but he never got the chance. Mousy launched himself from beneath my Snoopy Cap like an angry bullet of fur, teeth bared. He latched onto the Monster's hand, rustling angrily as it shrieked in agony. I took the moment of distraction to leap at the second Monster, bearing him to the ground as my hands wrapped around his throat.

I squeezed with all the strength I could muster and was rewarded by the crackle of breaking glass. I realized in alarm it had come from the Monster I held. His very features seemed to crack. I just squeezed all the harder, watching him shatter beneath my fingers. Features cracking, cracking, fractures running up and down his entire body. Then in an instant he shattered, collapsing into nothing more than a pile of glass. Mirror glass. It cut my hands but I hardly noticed. I was already rising up to attack the other Monster, who was wildly banging his hand against the wall trying to knock Mousy off.

Charging him at the knees, we both went to the ground, an oomph escaping from him as his head rapped against the hard floor. I knelt on top of him, grabbing him around the sides of the head with both hands and repeatedly bashing it into the floor. Two strikes and he cracked, and I was smart enough this time to leap backwards before he shattered completely.

I glanced briefly at the third warden, but he was still unconscious and still human. Now I only had to deal with the dozen monsters that were pounding the door down. Aren't I the lucky one?

Figuring I might as well at least destroy the camera system before giving things up as hopeless, I looked around for a suitable bludgeon with which to destroy it. A small brief case sat innocently in one corner. How it got there, who knows, but it seemed solid enough. I took it up in both hands and turned to the control console beneath the monitors.

It was sturdy and made to be durable. A few whacks made that clear soon enough. So I just broke the screens above it instead. Even if the controls were in perfect working condition, the screens would be at least too wrecked for anyone to see what I was up to.

The pounding on the door increased in fury and I figured either more Monsters had joined the group, or they had found some better, more effective battering ram.

"No one's home," I muttered, turning back to survey the monitors. With a shrug, I started bashing them in, one by one. It was as I neared the completion of my task that I hesitated, for I had reached the screen that showed this very room.

It showed two piles of glass from the slain monsters, the third unconscious and human. That was as it should be. But what made me hesitate was the fact that neither I, nor Mousy, appeared to be on the screen.

Confused, I looked around until I spotted the nearby camera, tucked into a corner of the room. I waved my arms around and stuck out my tongue, making certain I was directly beneath the camera. Still, the monitor did not show me. Neither did it show Mousy or even my Snoopy Cap. Now I knew why the Tormentors hadn't caught up to me. I wasn't visible on the cameras!

Intrigued and more than slightly disturbed, I bashed the last two screens just in case and then started to search for some kind of exit. The door shook again, but they didn't seem to be having much luck.

Mousy joined me in the search and it was only moments before I heard a rustle from him. I stepped over to where he stood and followed his gaze upwards to a small vent in the ceiling. Probably an air-conditioning vent, but it was just my size.

I leapt up and caught the edge of it on the second try, holding on though it put a sharp strain on my already injured shoulder. Mousy rustled, jumped, latched onto my leg, and climbed it up to the edge of the hand I dangled from. He then grabbed one of the screws in his mouth and started to twist it. They were only loosely attached.

In moments I had shoved the vent cover back and crawled up and inside. It was a tight fit, but I managed, starting to make my way forward. I wouldn't be able to turn around, which would prove a serious problem if I encountered anything, but I figured most of them were too big to fit in the vent anyways.

With a grim smile on my face I crawled, having no clue where I was headed, simply that it was away. I'm not sure when, but I passed out at some point from the combination of injury and exhaustion. Guess it was time for some much needed sleep.

Physically I'm a mess, but at least I'm still mobile.

Nil, Out (hopefully right out of this vent to freedom)

Day 65

I woke up in pain, but once again, not nearly as much as I should have been in. Glancing down at my hands, I noticed that sure enough, they were mostly healed. Just like before. All my injuries from yesterday's beating felt like they were weeks old. Whether Siegfried's doing or someone else, I neither cared nor bothered to wonder about. All that mattered was I was healed and free to find and destroy the Director. That monstrous being behind this Hell that was my life.

A quiet rustle echoed in the vent around me and I noticed Mousy a little ways off, fast asleep. He'd crawled over to the nearest turn in the vent to keep guard against any incoming foes. Poor little guy probably tried to stay up all night! It touched my heart and I thought about letting him sleep a while longer. But we had to get going.

"Come on, Mousy," I said gently, nudging him with a hand once I'd crawled over to him. His ever-blue eyes cracked open and peered blearily up at me. He looked tired but got to his feet, ready to continue.

Through the vents we went. Although partially healed, my body still felt worn out. I had to stop several times to rest, much more often than I would have liked. Every now and then we would come across a grate that looked down into a room below. I'd always stop to peer out of the grating, hoping for some clue as to where we were and where we were headed.

More than once I saw Monsters beneath, shuffling about like zombies. It seemed the Director was using his every resource to search for me, transforming every warden and doctor in the building into just another mindless minion. Twice, through grates that looked down into hallways, I caught a glimpse of the Twisted Puppet.

He seemed to be a general of sorts, marshalling his troops in their search. It was only a matter of time until somebody thought to check the air vents. I tried desperately to be silent, but I know I made noise sometimes. Maybe they'd already heard me.

Knowing I couldn't keep this up much longer, and with no real clue where I was, I decided to drop into the next empty room that I found. I needed to know where the Director's office was. Either by getting directions from a Monster somehow or by finding a directory posted to the wall. Directory. For the Director. Ha ha ha.

The next grate that I came to overlooked one of the doctor's offices. Deciding it was the best I'd get, I gently shoved it outwards, holding onto it so it wouldn't clatter to the ground. Thankfully, it wasn't even screwed in and just took a push to knock it loose.

I sucked the grate into the vent, placing it carefully beside me. I then dropped quietly to the floor below, followed seconds later by Mousy. Padding over to the door on silent feet, I locked it so that I'd have no unexpected intruders. Then I turned to survey the room and see if there was anything that might help us.

A nice desk, a swivel chair, and some weird painting of clocks by a guy named Salvador Dali. That was about all the room consisted of. I grinned as I read the medical degrees that hung from the wall. The name said Lucius R. Higgins. I was in dear Dr. H's office...

I glanced once at the door, paranoid that a Tormentor or Monster would sneak up on me even though it was locked. Shaking my head to clear that ugly thought, I took a seat in Higgins chair. It was tempting to log onto his computer first thing, but there were also several desk drawers to investigate. And even better, a fat file cabinet. I opened it.

Riffling through the carefully organized files, I reached the section categorized by the letter 'N' and found the file named Nillium Neems. I pulled out my own patient file and spread it on the desk in front of me, Mousy leaping onto my shoulder so he could read it too.

Name: Nillium Amelia Neems. I now knew my middle name. Yay. Height: 5' 1". Already knew that one. Weight: 113 pounds. Probably less by now. More physical details that were already self-evident. Random details about my problems. Numerous, but mainly dealing with hallucinations. The name of the doctor who first admitted me, some dude named Dr. Ahriman. I didn't remember him, but I made a mental note to pay him a visit someday.

Then followed details about my parents, how they disowned me and I was a ward of the state, my patient history, various transfers to different facilities before Atrium. As I continued reading, I frowned, and my frown only deepened. Mousy rustled questioningly.

"I don't remember this, Mousy..."

He rustled out another question mark.

"I'm serious, Mousy. I don't remember any of this. I don't remember any Dr. Ahriman. I don't remember all of these places, these other mental wards that are listed. I mean, I know I was disowned by my parents and have spent my life growing up in the system. But... as I think about it, I can't recall any of the details. I can't remember what my parents looked like. I can't remember these other wards. I can't remember anything!"

The last word I said nearly in a wail, starting to get a bit freaked out. Was my memory that badly damaged? Could I have lost everything like that? Mousy brought me back to the here and now as he let out a rustle that was more like a hiss than anything else.

He'd dragged a manila folder from one of the desk drawers, and spread it out in front of me. The title said 'Black List'. It contained several sheets of paper, each one filled with names, patient numbers, and a date next to each patient. The dates went back fifty-one years, whatever significance that might hold.

I recognized a few of the patient names near the end of the list, the ones dated most recently. None of them I had known very well, but as I thought about it, I also hadn't seen any of them in a while. Starting around the time of the date listed near each name. Mousy must have arrived at the same conclusion as me, for he looked up at me with a deep, soulful gaze, full of sorrow.

"This is a death list of some kind isn't it?"

He didn't even have to rustle. We both knew it was. I read the last few entries aloud. The most recent one was for a Jeremy Steiner. That made me angry. Jeremy was a helpless little guy, but gentle. He didn't deserve to be killed or whatever it was they had done to these patients.

Folding up the Black List, I grabbed some tape from Dr. Higgins desk, and stuck the little paper on the inside of my Snoopy Cap. Someone was going to answer for it. I also grabbed a lighter that was sitting on his desk, taping it to on the inside of my Cap as well. Surely it would come in handy sooner or later.

Rising from the chair to leave, something told me I hadn't delved to the depths of the corruption quite yet. I sat back down and continued riffling through paperwork.

I found several folders regarding something called Atrium Pharmaceutical's. They used a lot of technical terms, but from what I could make out it was a new drug company. A company closely connected with Atrium Psychiatric Ward. But I couldn't think on that one too long. I had to get moving. Already we had stayed far too long.

"Siegfried said the Director was in Office 33A on the third floor," I said to Mousy, as I picked him up and put him on my shoulder, preparing to leave. "Well that doesn't help us much. We're on the first floor right now and I have no idea where anything is. We need a map."

I closed the door, Higgins nameplate catching the light from the fluorescent bulbs overhead. Mousy rustled and I followed his gaze to the nameplate. I smiled. It was not a pleasant sort of smile.

"You're right, Mousy. We don't need a map. We need a guide..."

Assuming he hadn't been killed, Dr. Higgins was still about somewhere, having refused to transform into one of the Director's Tormentors. There was little chance that I could get what I needed from any of the horrors that haunted Atrium, but Higgins was another story.

"I think we're going to have to backtrack to where we last saw him," I said with a sigh, looking down at Mousy. His half-hearted reply echoed my own feelings. The two of us set off at as fast a pace as possible while remaining silent. I didn't much fear the Monsters, who seemed easy enough to outrun. Now that my injuries had been mysteriously healed, I could run circles around those bozos. It was the Tormentors I was wary of. For I had no idea how many stalked the halls of Atrium.

The Killer, the Shambler, the Twisted Puppet, the Green Ooze, the Scarecrow, and Dr. Skeleton. Rather simple names, for all too strange entities. I feared them, but not as much as I did before my fight with the Hooded Man. For there was courage beating in my little heart now, accompanied by a righteous fury at these things.

I let Mousy lead the way, hopping down from my shoulder and scampering along the hallway. He seemed to have a better understanding of the way back to where we'd last seen Higgins than I did. Even then, we twice hit dead ends.

We saw few signs of life on our journey. Presumably the Director's minions had figured I had either fled Atrium or made my way upwards to threaten the Director himself. I had spent at least a few hours asleep in the air vents afterall.

Rounding a corner in the hall, we nearly collided with the Twisted Puppet. He was standing there, statue still as if frozen in place. I have no idea why. Stepping backwards on silent feet, I withdrew from him and out of sight, leaning my back against the wall when I'd rounded the corner. I waited until my heart stopped thudding and then peered warily out at him, to see if he still stood.

There were two of them now. The Twisted Puppet, still unmoving, and a tall creature dressed in a doctor's coat, a vultures head sticking out from the top. As far as I could tell, he had neither hands nor feet, for I saw neither poking from his sleeves or from the bottom of his coat.

"Is it possible for her to leave?" The Ethereal Vulture asked in a mellifluous voice like some grand poet.

The Twisted Puppet shook his head.

"She is ground here. She doesn't have the substance to leave." His voice was slow, like the warm trickle of sap through tree roots. Though there was an anger behind it that marked him in my mind as one of the more dangerous Tormentors.

"Don't underestimate Siegfried," the Ethereal Vulture warned. "He is craftier than you give him credit for. He is no fool."

The Twisted Puppet scoffed.

"He is useless. As are his creations. She hides somewhere in terror, cowering from us. We will find her and kill her."

I was tempted to step out and make a fool of the Puppet's words, show him just how 'terrified' I was. But that probably wouldn't be wise and I resisted the notion.

"If you believe she hides, Puppet," and he said the name with a sneer, "then I suggest you continue your search for her."

The Twisted Puppet snorted at him and stomped off, thankfully in the opposite direction from which I hid. It was nice to know that my enemies weren't all on the same page.

"He is gone," the Ethereal Vulture said mildly once the Twisted Puppet was out of sight. "You may come out of hiding, Nillium Neems."

Well, that made my blood run cold. Mousy made a startled rustling sound. I thought of turning and running, but I had no idea how fast this guy was. And besides, he didn't seem to want to kill me immediately. Maybe I'd just learn something useful. I stepped around the corner and faced him.

"How did you know I was back there?" I asked him, using my most casual tone of voice. His eyes gleamed with mirth.

"I smelled the stench of rebellion. You are causing us trouble, Neems, and we don't like it."

I shrugged.

"It's like a hobby. I can't help it. Sometimes I get bored easy."

He stared at me for a moment with his black, bird eyes, colorless as death.

"I could destroy you as you stand."

"You could. I'll grant you that. But if that's what you wanted, then you would have revealed my presence to the Puppet. So what do you want, Mr. Vulture?"

As much as he could with his long, sharp beak, he smiled.

"How much do you know about us, Nillium Neems?"

"Oh, bundles. I know pretty much all there is to know. Stopping you people will be all too easy. Why don't you tell me where the Director is so I can put an end to all this? I'm sure you're getting as bored as I am of running about through endless hallways."

His eyes glittered. I couldn't tell if that was a good sign or not.

"I am tired, Nillium Neems. Of dealing with the annoyance of Siegfried and his followers. But even more, I am tired of being... less."

"Less what?" I asked, cocking my head sideways in question.

"Less than the Director."

I grinned. I couldn't help it, for I saw where this conversation was going.

"Is this an I help you and you help me sort of thing?" I asked.

His eyes glittered again. They reminded me of blinking Christmas lights. One moment dead, the next bright and shining. But only for a second.

"Bring Siegfried and all of his followers to the Director's office. Kill him, and I will ensure you leave Atrium unharmed."

My grin faltered.

"Is this more of a 'let's be buddies while I lead you into a trap' sort of thing?"

Once again that creepy glitter. Like the sparkle off pirate's coins. Pirate's coins soaked in the blood of dead men.

"Just bring him there. I will distract the Director. Thanks to my efforts, he believes you are hiding on the second floor right now. All of his efforts are concentrated there. I cannot promise you will remain completely unmolested, but your journey to his office should be relatively free from encounter. Good luck, little Neems."

He turned to leave, seeming to float instead of walk away from me. Stopping a moment, he turned his head back to glance at me one last time.

"What is it you want, Nillium Neems?"

I thought about it for a moment. What did I want? Peace, I guess. Hope. Happiness. An ending to all of this. Yes, that was it. I nodded to myself.

"An end."

The Ethereal Vulture stared at me for a moment. He gave me that creepy, sharpened smile again.

"I think I can give you that, Nillium Neems." and he floated away, down the hall and out of sight.

I felt Mousy shivering up on my shoulder. I must admit, I felt like doing the same myself.

"Come on, Mousy. Let's get moving."

Less than a minute later we reached the room where I'd last seen Higgins. I opened the door and darted in, anxious not to be caught. Once I was in however, I felt hesitant to proceed. People had died for me in here.

I saw the squashed remains of the Mushrooms. I knelt down beside them and ran a hand through the remnants. Tears welled up behind my eyes and I let them flow without shame. The little guys had helped me a lot and only been squished for their efforts. A few teardrops dripped off my chin. Glancing up, my eyes met the dead gaze of Hammy. He too had counted on me, and I felt like I'd let him down.

I think I would have collapsed into a puddle of tears at that point, but a sharp rustle from Mousy alerted me to the fact that we weren't alone. I followed his gaze and met the terrified eyes of Dr. Higgins, crouched in a corner where I'd last seen him. He was so scared he hadn't moved in all this time, for I don't know how many hours.

"Higgins?" I said quietly, walking cautiously towards him. He flinched and held up a protective hand. His eyes seemed a bit glazed and I don't think he even saw me for who I was.

"Please don't hurt me," he whispered. His voice sounded raw, broken.

"I'm not going to," I said soothingly as I could manage, crouching down beside him. I thought I would hate him, but it was hard to hate a creature as wretched as this. I just felt pity for him.

He whimpered like a kicked dog.

"Dr. Higgins, I can stop the Tormentor's. I can kill the Director. But I need your help."

"Why?" he wailed, his eyes unclouding and seeming to see me for the first time. "Why is this happening? What the Hell is happening?"

I put an arm on his shoulder, surprising myself as much as I surprised him.

"The Director is angry because I threaten his control. I don't know why or how, but I'm different from the other patients. I can see him and his Monsters for what they are. But you need to help me, Higgins, if I am to stop him"

"I'm sorry, Nil," he replied, on the verge of sobbing. Whether it was fear or sorrow, I wasn't sure. Probably a mix of both.

I thought back on how he had treated me, all of his tortures flooding my mind. But I didn't feel anger for any of it, not now. He was broken enough.

"It's okay, Higgins. Dr. Higgins. Just give me the help I need and all is forgiven."

He laughed at that. His laugh was too high-pitched and sounded demented.

"You mean like pumping you full of experimental drugs just to see what would happen?" he said, the sarcasm overriding his tears. "Using you and every other patient as test subjects, a way to get our new line of drugs passed by the FDA? And hey, if a few patients died during testing, who cared? You're all just crazy anyways."

I had known the drugs they were using weren't standard issue. What I'd read in his office had confirmed as much. But it still hurt to hear him admit it.

"That's right," he continued, taking my silence for an answer. "You were our guinea pig. You and all the rest. Atrium Pharmaceuticals was going to be leaps and bounds ahead of everyone else, since all of our patient trials could be done for free. Using you people. A little unofficial testing is so... cost effective." Then he broke out laughing again, his laughter devolving into sobs that shook him to the core. "And I went along with it," he muttered through the sobs, "every single bit of it, I went along with."

"So... is that the Director's purpose for this place?" I asked. "To use it as a testing ground for a new drug company?"

"N-no," Higgins managed, shaking his head emphatically. "T-that is only a minor bonus for him. What his main goal is I don't know. Just that it's d-darkness, darkness and shadow."

He was quiet a moment, and then continued.

"I-I can f-feel him, p-prying at m-my mind. T-trying to get in."

"And transform you like the others, into one of his Tormentors?"

He nodded, head bent downwards, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak any further. I grabbed him by the chin and turned it upwards.

"I can stop the Director if you help me," I said quietly. "I need you to tell me where his office is. How do I get there from here?"

Higgins nodded, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. He soon had something resembling his normal austere composure.

"A-alright. I'll help you how I can. From here take the hallway to the right. G-go down it all the way, take another right and there will be an elevator. Take it to the third floor. You'll be in the west wing. Go straight until you reach the library. Through the library and you'll be at the executive offices. It is there that you will find the Director."

"Thank you," I said, getting up to leave. "Will you come with me, Dr. Higgins? Help me beat him and together, we can end his reign."

He shook his head in the negative.

"No, Nil. I will stay here. It's only a matter of time till the Director breaks through and I become just like the others. I am resigned to my death. It is the fate that I deserve."

His decision seemed to give him some peace and I could see that there would be no convincing him. I left him like that, huddled fearfully in a corner, waiting for the end to come.

Mousy and I followed the directions of a dying man, more determined than ever to stop this. We found the elevator, not encountering any enemies, and I pushed the button for the third floor. I felt a sense of anticipation as the elevator rose. In my mind, it seemed to go on for a long, long time, rising towards a destiny unknown. It humbled me. To think that there was this big world out there, with big designs by evil characters like the Director. And here was small little me, standing up to them.

"Do you ever think there's more than this, Mousy?" I asked.

He rustled. If I had been expecting some deep insight from him, I wasn't going to get it. But maybe that deep insight had to come from within. Somewhere deep inside my heart. I just wish I knew what it was.

The elevator 'binged' and the door slid open. We walked straight down the path that was offered, following Higgins directions. The library doors reared before us, massive things on ball bearing hinges. I gave them a gentle push and they swung soundlessly open, revealing the cavernous space beyond.

Walking inside, I found it hard to believe that such a library had been constructed for the patients of Atrium. I had certainly never visited it, nor even heard of it. I suspected it was the Director's personal little sanctum, built only after the death of Siegfried.

There was a hushed feeling, as in most libraries, when I padded across the richly carpeted flooring. Words like grand and antiquity surfed through my mind as I took in the vast space before me. Spiral stairs leading to a second level, twisted columns with ornate sculpturing, curved arches. It had it all. Without even looking, I knew that nothing as obscene as a paperback novel from the New York Time's bestseller list would be found here. All of the books were hardcover, old, and probably very expensive.

I was so taken with it all that I almost didn't notice the thin little man who stood by the door on the far side of the room. He looked like a butler or servant of some kind, dressed all in black, probably in his fifties. His polished brass skin marked him as a Tormentor and gave him the appearance of a well-dressed statue.

"Hi!" I said cheerfully, waving at him. "I'm Nillium Neems. What's your name?"

He gave me a curt bow in reply.

"I am the Treasurer of Atrium Psychiatric Ward and personal aid to the Director. I was instructed to await you here in case you made it this far."

"Well, obviously I have. So what's with this place, Statue Man? The Director must have expensive taste."

Another bow, a certain elegance to his movements. At least the guy had class.

"It is the Director's personal little treasure. He never need leave Atrium with this here. For in this place, he has access to all the world. The poetry of Robert Frost, the witticisms of Mark Twain, the wisdom of Plutarch. He can travel to any continent in the world through this room."

I frowned in thought.

"So you're saying that he's a reclusive old man who reads a lot and has no idea how to live outside of Atrium?"

The Elegant Statue just gave me a weary smile.

"Why do you continue to resist us? You are so weak, so small, so you use words against us, to fight us, to make fools of us. Why? How can you possibly imagine that will achieve anything?"

He had a point and it really did make me think for a minute. Why did I keep fighting when I was fighting an impossible battle against monstrous entities? It wasn't something as noble as the words 'because someone has to'. But maybe it was something close.

"Hope." I said. "Hope is why I'm not giving up. I never asked for this life, nor anything that has happened. And I have hope, that if I don't give up, I will win."

The Elegant Statue seemed to consider my words for a minute, and then nodded, accepting what I'd said. He then spread his arms to encompass the room we stood in.

"This room has a second purpose, Nillium Neems. It is the Director's sanctuary, but it is also the gateway. The only way to reach his office is through this library."

I let my gaze travel around the room, taking it all in. Then back to the Tormentor who stood before me.

"So?"

"If you wish to enter his office, you first must pass safely through the gateway. If you can, of course."

And with one last polite bow, the Elegant Statue stepped lightly backwards through the doors, closing them behind him and leaving us alone. Mousy hopped down from my shoulder, landing upon the ground and standing by my side, sniffing the air.

Seconds passed and nothing happened. Mousy looked up at me questioningly. I shrugged.

"Well, there doesn't seem to be-" and then something shot out from behind a book shelf so fast it was a blur. I think it was reflexes alone that saved my leg as I leapt sideways, rolling as I hit the ground and coming to my feet. There was no sign of our attacker.

Glancing briefly down at my leg, I saw a hot trickle of blood dripping down the side. I hadn't even felt it cut me, but there was a deep gash all the same. Mousy was turning his head back and forth, searching for where our enemy went.

The faint thump of a knocked over book hitting the ground alerted me to imminent attack, and my eyes swung towards the source. There it was, coming out from behind another shelf, sinuous, whip-like, and unearthly fast. In sheer panic I kicked out a foot, catching it under the head as it rose to bite once more.

To my delight, the blow sent it flying backwards, hitting a wall and falling to the ground in a coiled heap. I picked a heavy tome from the nearest shelf, and walked over to finish the creature.

It was... a worm of some kind, a deep purple in color. Five, maybe six feet long, multi-segmented, each segment of its body like joined together rings. Wiry bristles covered its body, which I assumed were used for locomotion. The strength of all of them pushing at once would explain its great speed. Five small tentacles sprouted from its face, framed by two huge mandibles which must have been what cut me.

I raised the heavy book, ready to bring it down upon the Purple Worm and end its monstrous life. Of course, then it spoke to me. In Warden Copley's voice.

"Please..." it gasped, "don't kill me. I did not... want to become this!"

I hesitated, book ready to strike. Copley was a vicious man who had always treated me badly. But no man deserved to become one of these monsters. He uncoiled slowly, as if badly hurt. And then lunged, mandibles opened wide and taking me in the ankle. I went down hard, the thud of my fall muffled by his laughter as he struck me again.

Blood spurted and I knew I was in trouble. Mousy rustled in terror and ran at the beast, trying to ravage it with his teeth for all the good that would do. The Copley Worm grabbed me by my other leg and started thrashing from side to side, like a dog rending a new favorite toy.

Just as I thought the end would come, I felt the Worm lifted from me. I looked up to see it soaring through the air, thrown once more into a wall. An old man appeared standing over me, reaching down a hand to help me up. Black, pinstripe pants, while silk shirt, black jacket, and even blacker tie. A serious, almost hawk-like face of a man in his sixties peered down at me, wireframe spectacles entirely at home on his quizzical face.

"Siegfried?" I guessed, grasping his hand and getting to my feet. I was afraid to look down at them, for fear that I wouldn't have any.

Siegfried saw my concern and smiled, raising an eyebrow. I looked down and both feet were intact, along with both legs. Not a wound in sight.

"How do you do the whole 'healing me' thing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow of my own. I must admit, I wasn't as good at it as him.

He pointed towards our crumpled opponent, indicating that there was little time for explanations. The Copley Worm was already getting itself oriented once more, ready to strike.

"I have conserved all the strength I have for this day," Siegfried said, facing the Worm and raising a hand. "Now that we have our chosen warrior, we shall take back what is ours!"

"Foolish spirit," The Copley Worm hissed. "You choose a little girl as your warrior? I have enjoyed beating her many times over."

Mousy rustled pointedly and Siegfried glanced down at him, an expression of surprise on his face.

"Paul Souris, I almost forgot about you. You have guarded her faithfully and served her well. Now you must do all you can to aid her at the last."

He waved a hand towards Mousy, and my friend flickered, sparkled, and changed, appearing as he too must have in life. A youth not much older than myself, sandy brown hair the color that his fur had been, bangs hanging down over those ever blue eyes that I knew so well.

Siegfried was weary from his efforts, his own form flickering briefly so that the slug was visible for just a moment, before reasserting itself as a tired old man.

"At last!" Paul shouted cheerfully in a light French accent. "I can speak in more than rustle!"

The Copley Worm hissed and launched itself towards us.

"Although perhaps not for very long..." Paul added sadly as our enemy bore down on us.

But I had a bit more confidence now, now that I had some help. And Paul still seemed to have rodent-like reflexes, stepping quickly to the side ready to intercept our attacker. I started to do the same, planning to kick its side as it shot past us, before I realized it had switched targets. Why go for some loopy mental girl, when it could attack the leader of its enemies first?

It was almost upon Siegfried, who was too tired to flee, when I threw myself on top of it, holding it down with my bodyweight. Twisting, writhing, going insane with movement, it threw me sideways and watched me slide across the ground with an oomph. But I'd given Paul enough time to act, who stomped down on its head with vicious force, stunning it. With a grin, he picked it up and flung it against the wall for a third time.

I got to my feet, took my cue to finish the creature, and picked up the heavy tome I had threatened it with earlier. Whack, whack, thud. It was a heavy book. I kept hitting it just to be sure, until Paul grabbed my arm and gave me a concerned look like I was pyscho or something. I glanced down at the Copley Worm. I had reduced its poor little wormy head to pudding.

Chucking the book aside with a sheepish grin on my face, I wiped my hands of a job well done and turned towards Siegfried.

"Oky doke, Pops, I got that one dealt with. What do you say we go smash this Directory guy and teach him a lesson about turning people into Monsters?"

Siegfried smiled and motioned with a hand for me to lead the way. Mousy fell into step beside me, while Siegfried followed just a little ways behind. I opened the door on the far end to find one final hallway, which ended at a door marked 'Executive Offices'.

It was here that I saw them, lined up against the walls, silent guardians on the road to Hell. The Killer, Twisted Puppet, Skeleton, Green Ooze, Scarecrow and Shambler. Eleven more Tormentor's that I hadn't met stood alongside them, each more insane and disturbing than the last. They formed a line all the way to the Director's office.

The Skeleton's eyes flashed and he beckoned me forwards with a wave of one bony digit.

"The Director will see you now," he hissed, and I realized in alarm that it was in the emotionless voice of the former Dr. Sirius.

Walking between their silent ranks was perhaps the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced, their heads turning to watch me as I passed, gazes locked onto me with a malevolent hate. I thought about running, but I didn't have much choice but to obey the Skeleton's words. For if I ran, then seventeen Tormentor's would fall upon us like wolves upon three lambs.

An eighteenth Tormentor opened the door as we reached it, holding it open politely. It was the Elegant Statue. Once we'd passed through, he closed it gently behind us and led us through a small waiting room to another door. Once more he held it open for us, this time waiting without as we all entered. The quiet sound of the door shutting behind us was one of the more ominous things that I've heard in life. I shared a glance with Mousy and Siegfried and I think we all took courage from one another.

We found ourselves in a large, oval room, edges lined with various cabinets and lamps, all made of only the highest quality. Polished redwood was a major design choice in the room and most of the furniture was made from it. Uncountable degrees and awards lined the walls, including two Master's in Psychology. Three couches and a table sat in the center of the room, with an exquisite desk and chair located at the far end, in front of a wide bay window.

The window took up an entire wall and held my gaze for a while. For I had expected it to be facing the world outside the Ward, but instead it was facing within, looking over the Yard where the Hooded Man had attacked me so very long ago. I almost smiled as I saw the Tree that I had always loved so much. It was so close I felt like I'd be able to touch it if I only opened the window. I could even still see the stars twinkling in its upper branches.

It wasn't until he stood, that I noticed the figure who had been sitting in the chair by the desk. He walked out from behind it and bowed politely. So identical to Siegfried in appearance, I felt surely they must be related. Same classy dress, same hawk-like face, about the same age. But whereas Siegfried's face radiated wisdom and a weary sort of kindness, this one had sharper features, edged by hatred and power.

"Are you the Director?" I asked him, not sure I'd got the right person. He wasn't quite the creature from Hell that I had expected.

"And you must be Nillium Neems," he stated, ignoring my question. "You have caused more trouble than I would have thought possible. I truly must congratulate Siegfried on that," and here he gave a brief nod to the former director of Atrium. "He has done a remarkable job in seeking vengeance against me."

The Director ignored Paul entirely, apparently deciding he wasn't even worth his notice.

"Did you kill Siegfried?" I asked, already quite certain of the answer.

The Director only laughed. Siegfried remained silent. It seemed it was my place and mine alone to face our enemy.

"The fool left me with little choice. I wanted power he wouldn't give me in my lowly position of Treasurer. So I had to, ahem, 'elevate' my role in Atrium Psychiatric Ward."

"By killing my father!?" I shouted angrily, taking a step towards him.

"Is that what you were told?" The Director replied, laughing once more. "Oh, Nillium, you really are clueless. You don't understand what you are, do you?"

"He told me his name was Siegfried Von Nillium!" though even I could hear some doubt creeping into my voice. "Of course he's my father. And no, I don't understand why I seem to be the only one who can see what's going on. But I am, and I'm going to stop you."

"Let me show you something, Nillium. Show you exactly why you stand no chance."

The Director stepped towards a wall and punched, the strength of his blow knocking a hole in the plaster and revealing the walls innards. I nearly threw up at the sight.

Inside of the wall was not the electrical cords and insulation I had expected, but bones... and not the bones or wooden framework of a normal structure, but human bones, all connected by a deep red wiring that looked awfully like blood veins. I just stared in shock for a while, not sure what to say or think. I glanced at my two companions, but both remained silent, letting me take in an awful truth that they were all too aware of.

The Director watched my reaction with a wolfish smile.

"Former patients are to thank for that," he said smugly. "Their bodies and spirits have brought this place to life. Every one of them that dies grants my Ward more and more power, which grants me power. I do not let their souls depart, but keep them trapped here within my grasp."

"B-..." I began, not sure even what to say.

His smile widened, revealing perfect and white teeth that could have been in any commercial for a dental product.

"We have something here in Atrium, known as the 'Black List'. It's a record of all of the patients that are slated to have 'accidents' so that they can empower me a bit sooner than fate would have it. Of course we only kill those patients whose deaths won't be questioned by family on the outside."

I opened my mouth but no words came out. All words had failed me before this onslaught to all that I considered good and moral in the world. The Director continued.

"There are a few rogue spirits who refuse to stay imprisoned, like Siegfried and the Mushrooms, but even they cannot leave the Ward. All they can do is cause mischief, which my Tormentors stop soon enough. And that is where you come in, Nillium Neems. You are nothing but one more attempt to cause me trouble."

"So they gave me the ability to see things as they are?" I blurted out, still reeling mentally.

"Oh this is too much!" He said with obvious delight. "You really don't know, do you? No, they didn't give you power to see, they gave you everything. Siegfried is your father in the same way that a scientist is father to his creations. Because that is all you are, Nillium Neems. You are his creation. A manifestation of all the hopes and dreams of the spirits who haunt this place. An embodiment of their pathetic acts of resistance. You are their defiance given life, created solely to stop me."

"But I remember my parents!" I shouted, not bothering to conceal the terror in my voice. "I'm twenty years old and I remember everything that's happened in my life!" but even as I said it, the uncertainty I had felt upon reading my patient file in Higgins office came back to me. I didn't remember anything very clearly come to think of it.

"All false," the Director confirmed, as if hearing my thoughts. "Every memory you have is false, even of your 'life' in my Ward. You have only been in existence for sixty-five days, and that fact I know for sure. And to answer your next question, the reason I have done nothing about you until now is because I was unaware of your presence. Siegfried and his followers hid you all too well from me..." and here his face took on the first note of annoyance I had seen.

"When you pulled a bone from the wall in your room, weakening the structure of my Ward ever so slightly, was when I first became aware of what you are and the threat that you pose. So, I looked through our records for a Nillium Neems to confirm my suspicions, and found every record to be false, planted there by Siegfried and the others. Your birth certificate was false, a non-existent doctor listed on it, your parents are false, the doctor who 'admitted' you to this Ward is false, all of it was false. You are the rather brilliant last ditch effort of the rogue spirits who stand against me."

"I'm not real..." I said quietly, more of a realization than a question. Looking down at my hands, not sure whether to be relieved or upset that my life was a lie, I understood that I was just a pawn. Meaningless.

The Director nodded. I looked at Siegfried, whose head was bent, possibly in shame. He didn't meet my gaze.

"Why tell me all of this?" I asked, turning back to my enemy. "Why didn't you have your Tormentors outside kill me, or you yourself try to kill me?"

"Because I wanted to meet you. I wanted to see with my own eyes the famous Nillium Neems, and I wanted to tell you, face to face, just how meaningless your existence is. Your hopelessness and despair is a feast to me, the likes of which I have not enjoyed in some time. How does it feel, to be nothing but a lie? And a rather pathetic one at that."

I stood in thought for a minute, not really sure what to say. Slowly, I reached up and took the Snoopy Cap from my head, turning it over and over in my hands. There, taped to the inside, was the lighter I'd stolen from Higgins office, along with the Black List. The List of all of those patients he'd killed. I looked at Paul, at Mousy, my friend who had stood by me through so much. He smiled, though it was a bit strained.

"Is my Snoopy Cap a lie?" I asked. "Is Mousy's friendship a lie and Dr. Hammy's sacrifice? Are all those you killed, those Black List patients a lie?"

"No, but they are meaningless. Meaningless, worthless gestures."

And that was when the Director made his first mistake. If he had said yes, they were nothing but lies, I would have given up then and there. But they weren't. The friendships were real, the comfort of my Snoopy Cap was real, the triumph over his minions and my fight with the Hooded Man. And that long, long list of death. That too was real. It wasn't much, but it was enough.

I ran at him and placed both hands around the demon's throat. He snarled in disbelief that I would dare to touch him, and that's when things got interesting...

It was the blackness in his heart, welling up and revealing itself for what it was. His skin quivered and blackened into a midnight shade, and his eyes became two holes, dark sucking voids that were an absence of color, not merely black, not anything.

He screamed at me, more a scream of fury than of fear, and reached up to grab my hands. Inhuman strength drew them apart from around his neck, till he held me at arm's length. With a snarl he threw me backwards into Siegfried and Paul, knocking all three of us to the ground.

I leapt to my feet, turning to face the monster. His form quivered once more and the transformation continued. The blackness spread all around his feet in a pool of shadows, so dark his form could no longer contain it. Though he remained pretty much himself in appearance, his shadow continued to grow, revealing a winged and demonic form, at least twice the Director's size.

Siegfried raised both arms, exerting the last of his will and materializing weapons for both me and Paul. Two heavy sledge hammers appeared from the air and fell to the ground, both weapons slightly aglow with some unearthly power. I raised an eyebrow in question at this rather odd choice.

"Take them and slay him," Siegfried said haltingly, his whole body flickering between slug and man. "Strike not at the Director's form, but at the very heart of his power. You are the only chance we have, Nillium Neems."

He reverted back to a slug, no longer able to sustain his old appearance. The Director screamed with fury and leapt upon him like some wild animal, rending at him with his teeth. His mouth opened wider than any human maw should have been able, and to my utmost horror, he swallowed Siegfried whole.

Paul put his hands to his mouth in shock. I just yelled, picked up a hammer, and charged the Director. He was too fast, catching my arm as I brought it down and hurling me backwards. I hit the wall with a thump, denting it slightly, and my hammer followed shortly thereafter, nearly squashing my head as it hit the wall beside me.

I got shakily to my feet and pulled my weapon loose, noticing the grotesque jigsaw of veins and bones, and it came to me what Siegfried must have meant with his departing words.

"Paul!" I shouted, as he picked up his own hammer and charged towards the Director. "Forget attacking him. The Director said it was this stuff within the walls that gave him power, the remains of trapped patients."

"So?" Paul replied, circling the Director and striking when he'd found an opening. The blow did no noticeable damage other than to knock his opponent back a few steps.

"Siegfried said to go for the heart of the Director's power. That's what all this stuff has to be!"

Paul just rolled his eyes at me.

"That's stupid, it runs through the walls. We'd have to bring down the whole building to do any damage." He lunged at the Director again, but his foe was getting wise to his tactics and ducked under the blow, coming up beneath his arm and throwing Paul like he'd thrown me. The little Frenchman landed on the floor and slid, his hammer right beside him.

"Listen, Mousy!" I shouted, hoping that name might at least get through to him. "The first bone I pulled out of the walls back in my room was all dry and crumbly, right? Only dried blood stuck onto it. It looked ancient. These ones don't."

"And?" he asked, getting to his feet and picking up his hammer once more.

"I think it's because these bones and veins and stuff are stronger. This is the center of the Director's power. I bet the bones aren't this, um, fresh anywhere else in the building."

That got him to listen to me. He looked thoughtfully at the walls around us, while keeping one eye on the Director, who was slowly stalking towards us.

"If that is the case..." he said slowly, "then would simply destroying the supporting beams of this office and collapsing the roof be enough?"

"I hope so," I answered, hefting my hammer and grinning.

And so we both went at it, hammering at the supporting beams that were nearest us. The very first blow revealed them not to be beams at all, but very large bones. They broke all the same under our joint attack.

The Director didn't charge us like I thought he would as soon as he saw what we were up to. He simply raised a hand and made a sweeping motion, like a forceful beckons to come towards him. The door to his office burst open and all eighteen remaining Tormentors came to his aid.

I guess that was a positive sign that we were doing something right, though at the same time a bad one because it meant we were pretty well screwed. The Tormentors hesitated for but a moment, before splitting up into two groups to go after me and Mousy, while the Director directed them from a distance (as Directors do, ha ha).

Before they could fan out and corner me, I dropped my weapon and ran. It would only slow me down. If I dared to try and face them all I would die. Simple as that. I skirted around the Director and headed towards the window.

Hey, you might judge me now, but it wasn't like I had any options. I didn't hesitate or even stop to think, just dived through the glass and soared into the air. I guess I was hoping the grass below would cushion my fall.

I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to see the ground approaching, wouldn't have to see death rocketing towards me. I let out an oomph as I struck, my breath knocked from me. I lay still for a while, wondering how many bones, if any, weren't broken. At least I was alive. I made an attempt to get to my feet and my toe caught on something, sending me plummeting forwards once more, once again hitting the ground.

As I lay there, slightly dazed and looking upwards at the leaves overhead, it occurred to foolish little me that it wasn't the ground I had hit, but a tree branch. Right above me was the twisty little branch nub that I had caught my toe on, looking down mockingly at me.

I twisted my head to look beneath me and saw the grassy earth of the Yard still a good two stories down. I was lying on a thick, hooked branch that easily supported my weight. Carefully getting to my feet, I started to climb, the grainy wood under my fingers somehow comforting.

It was an easy enough climb, the branches closely spaced with each other and providing ample handholds to pull myself up. I looked at the stars above me as I climbed, twinkling like little diamonds in the uppermost branches. They were so beautiful that my breath caught at the sight.

I swore to myself in that moment, that no matter what, I would hold one of those glowing gems in my hand. Poor Mousy, AKA Paul Souris, was almost certainly dead, Siegfried had been eaten alive, the Mushrooms were squished, and there was no way I could fight the Director. Standing up to even one Tormentor was hard enough, but eighteen of them? Impossible.

So, I just kept climbing. Nothing else in life mattered anymore. Up and up I went, slipping once or twice, but catching myself on any of the numerous branches that offered handholds. Maybe I'd even live up there, safe in the sky where no one could harm me.

A noise of some sort, possibly a shout of rage, echoed up from far below. I ignored it. It wasn't like any of my enemies could fly. My legs started to ache from my fall, and bark scraped at my hands. It didn't bug me one bit, for in my single-minded pursuit of the stars, I was as determined as I'd ever been about anything.

The first star came within reach, hanging from the branch like fruit. There were several of them within my grasp, each one no larger than a golf ball, but still the most magnificent treasure I had ever laid eyes on.

Smiling like a little girl plucking flowers, I pulled the first one loose, holding it between my fingertips as I brought it up for inspection. My brow furrowed in confusion the deeper I looked at it. It was oval in shape, made from glass or crystal, with some darker shape within. Being in no immediate danger, I brought the star or whatever it was right up to my eye, straining my gaze as I peered into it. I felt like a little kid with her first kaleidoscope.

The first sense of foreboding shivered through me, at about the same time the star came up to my eye, and thus I was only half-surprised to see a tiny human silhouette within. Arms crossed over its chest like a mummy, it also had a shriveled yet horribly alive look to it. If it was only bigger, I had the terrible feeling that I would have seen its eyes, wide open and staring helplessly at me, begging for release.

Holding the one star within my hand, I reached out with my other and plucked another one from where it hung. Putting my eye to this one as well to compare the two, I saw it looked not at all shriveled like the other, though it still held the mummy-like pose.

I glanced at the ground far beneath my feet, then at the two little crystal prisons that I held. Winding back my arm, I threw them both downwards, watching them plummet to the earth far below. There was a small puff of light as they hit the ground and two pale, translucent figures rose slowly skywards, saluting me as they passed by. They disappeared into the Heavens above, winking out of sight.

Plucking a few more from their branches, I compared them with one another and made an important discovery. Some of them were like the second I had picked, whole and mostly normal looking, while others were like the first starry crystal that I had taken. Shriveled, mummified, sucked of life.

I looked around at the hundreds if not thousands of other crystals and pieced my thoughts together like so. If each crystal contained a patient's imprisoned spirit, then they were there because the Director had put them there. If some seemed just recently dead, while others were in various stages of decay, then that meant they had been imprisoned longer. So it was a logical assumption that the Tree was slowly draining them overtime, somehow feeding the spirits strength to the Director. Meaning in all likelihood, that I was sitting in the very heart of the Director's power.

With these newfound thoughts, the once beautiful Tree suddenly looked a lot less so than before. Branches swollen not with good health, but with gluttony from those it had eaten, an all-consuming monster. An image popped into my head, of a monstrous void, roots sucking the life from everything around it as it grew fat on the souls of the dead. Who knew how deep the Tree's roots went. A hundred feet, a thousand? Perhaps all the way down into Hell for all I knew.

I could see them in my mind, curling and twisting, snaking their way into the very walls of Atrium. I remembered the sickening display from the Director's office, when he had punched a hole in the wall, and it came back to me that I might have seen just a hint of wood in there, the searching fingers of this demon's roots.

No doubt remained in my mind that this Tree was the source of the Director's power. All I had to do now was find a way to kill it. I smiled as the dear thought of fire came to me, and just how destructive that force was to anything even vaguely plant-like. I'd used flames a time or two in my various escape attempts from the Ward.

Even if all of those memories had been nothing but false, they were real enough for me to know how easy it is to start a fire. A spark from a piece of metal, sunlight through a magnifying glass, or if nothing else, just rubbing some sticks together in the right way. And though I lacked glass or metal, there were sticks all around me in abundance.

I broke a few branches and tried rubbing them together, building up a fine layer of sweat on my brow and getting nowhere. I took my Snoopy Cap off and mopped my forehead, putting the Cap on the branch beside me. It was only then that I noticed the paper, the Black List, still taped to the inside. All the names of the dead I was fighting for. And taped right next to it, the lighter I had taken from Higgins office...

Peeling off the tape, I grabbed the lighter and clicked it. A cheery little flame winked into sight at the end. Stripping leaves from the Tree around me and breaking off some of the smallest branches, it was only a short while before I had a small flame going. It was far too weak to catch the Tree itself on fire, the thick bark offering ample protection to all but the hottest fires, but it was just perfect to spread from leave to leave.

I smirked as I watched flames spread, a contagion from leaf to leaf, branch to branch, traveling outwards like the emissary of death. A thunking sound from below startled me and I glanced down to see the Skeleton, formerly known as Dr. Sirius, clawing his way slowly up to my level.

He punched his bony hands into the Tree, sharp claws easily sticking through the iron hard back, and then dragged himself upwards another few feet, before repeating the process. And he wasn't the only Tormentor after me, not by far. For the others knew what threat I posed and followed behind him, all making their way up in one way or another.

I looked from where I was to the broken window of the Director's office, almost on eye level with me. There he was, the monster of monsters himself, staring downwards and directing his generals. Beside him lay the crushed remains of Mousy, a sight that made me more angry than sad. He'd put his life into helping me, stopping this evil, and wouldn't even live to see the end of it. It was up to me to make sure their sacrifices weren't for nothing. Siegfried, the Mushrooms, Mousy, Hammy, all of them. I'd probably die up here, but I'd do what I could to make things rights.

I climbed higher, snapping off a few flaming branches to take with me in hopes that I might spread the flames quicker as I went. I was more nimble than most of the Tormentor's, small enough not to get caught up in the branches when some of them did. Also light enough to balance on the thinner branches, which I noticed with amusement that some of them would snap as they put their weight on it.

The flames grew hotter beneath me, growing in fury and now consuming whole branches. But it didn't stop me. Smiling, somehow happier than I'd ever been before, I pulled myself up to the next branch, sweat running off me like water.

Glancing down upon hearing another crash, there was the Twisted Puppet, falling and screaming as the flames ate at his wooden body. The Skeleton was closer now, no more than ten feet beneath me, unperturbed by the fire.

Still I climbed, hand over hand, branch after twisting branch. The little crystal prisons flashed all around me as the flames broke them, freeing the spirits trapped within. I laughed aloud as I watched them explode like fireworks, the former patients ascending cloudwards, each one raising a fist to me, saluting my triumph.

Higher still I went, flames licking at my feet as they raced me to the top. But I didn't mind. No, I still laughed, laughed and laughed as the race went on, until my head broke through the topmost leaves. I saw sunlight at last, for what seemed like the first time in years, its beams caressing my face. A few birds took flight, startled at my unexpected appearance. I watched them till they were out of sight.

Only a few crystals remained up this high, and I took the nearest one to examine it. The small figure looked horribly familiar. Though tiny and hard to make out due to the obscuring prison that surrounded it, it looked an awful lot like Jeremy...

Arms crossed, he looked as if he'd just died, not a wrinkle of death upon his body. Fear etched his face though, and the very thought that the Director would do this to terror prone, helpless little Jeremy, made my blood boil. To see one so innocent suffer in such a way was almost more than I could bear. With everything I had, I hurled him downwards.

The spirits of the imprisoned were flying up all around me now, disappearing in waves through the sky. Their ranks slowly petered out, till the final few flew by me. The last was Jeremy, stopping to stand beside me. He looked different in death than in life, less nervous and standing just a little taller.

"Don't give up hope," he said quietly, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Sometimes prayers take a little while to come true."

"What prayers?" I asked.

Jeremy smiled and started to float once more upwards, following the trail of his fellow captives.

"You just released over a thousand wrongfully imprisoned souls," he whispered, just before he blinked out of sight. "That's a good way to earn points from Above..."

Realizing what he meant, I looked up, trying to pierce the vaults of Heaven, hoping to see what was beyond that blue sky and maybe, just maybe, see Someone looking back at me. I didn't. I saw nothing. But I knelt on my knees regardless and gave the prayer thing another try.

It wasn't fancy or elegant, certainly nothing that would stand up well in church. Just a quiet save me as I looked upwards for a sign, for anything. Nothing happened for a while and I started to feel let down again, until a small flash of light began far, far above. It descended rapidly, spiraling downwards until I could see it clearly.

The image will be forever etched into my mind. For what I saw was every spirit that I had just freed sent to my aid, soaring right past humble little me and down into the flames beneath my feet.

"Where are you going?" I shouted. They gave no answer, soon gone once more from sight, this time down instead of up.

Moments later, the whole Tree shook as if by an earthquake, and it occurred to me that whatever they were doing down there, it was hurting the Tree itself. The fire I had started was destroying branches and leaves, but the spirits seemed intent on uprooting the thing in entirety.

That thought made me smile, as I wondered just how much of the Director's power might remain if the Tree was dead. My smile dispersed a moment later when the Skeleton leapt onto a nearby branch, his bony features distorted with rage.

I dropped to the branch beneath as he lunged at me, but still felt the hot sting of ripping claws as they left a deep gash in my arm. There wasn't really much farther down I could go or I'd find myself in the middle of the inferno, so I made do with going sideways instead.

Burning leaves rained around me as the Skeleton crashed through them, dropping onto my level. I whipped around to face him and felt a claw rake my side, nearly knocking me off the branch. My blood splattered it enthusiastically.

"It's too late, Dr. Sirius," I taunted. "The Tree is going to be destroyed and all of you with it! Maybe if you repent now you won't go to the same Hell that the others are destined for."

"Dr. Sirius is no more," he replied with a growl, "I am the Skeleton. And if Hell is my future, then it shall be yours as well!"

He struck again and I felt pain for the third time. I didn't even really care at this point. I was going to die up here anyways, so the fear of death from this Tormentor was remarkably absent.

"Is that all you've got?" I replied, laughing. "Come on, Dr. Skeleton. Bring it on!"

I ducked his next blow and grabbed him around the arm, trying my best to twist it off. My attempt met with little success. He lashed out with an elbow that hit me a jarring blow on the chin, knocking me a few branches down. I could definitely feel the flames now, receiving more than a few burns, but still I didn't care.

No, all I wanted was to enjoy the last few minutes of my non-life and show this Tormentor who was boss. Looking around for a suitable weapon, I snapped off a semi-burnt branch and climbed back up to him, a defiant grin on my face.

I'm sure I presented a rather grim image, clothes torn, ends flaming and smoking, my hair a mess and probably on fire as well. At this point, blood and soot coated me like paint as I held the heavy branch in both hands.

Grinning like a maniac, I went at him, makeshift club flailing. He clawed once more, but I deflected it this time, following up with a heavy swing to his rib cage. I was rewarded by the satisfying crunch of snapping bone. There are two-hundred and six bones in the human body, and I was fully intent on breaking every single one of them.

My enemy was getting angry now and he lashed out twice more. One claw slashed across my face, leaving a red trail, while the other struck me across the shoulder. I returned the favor and hit him again, this time trying to take out his hands so he couldn't decide to claw me again.

After that it pretty much turned into a slugfest, neither of us bothering to defend, just taking turns trying to do the most damage. All the while, the flames grew higher until we were in the thick of it, the Tree shaking every few seconds as the spirits did their part below us.

A clawed finger pierced the tendon on my arm, making it near useless, but I was winning all the same. My blows steadily chipped away at his form, until he had only one arm and a few fingers left to attack me with. I raised the heavy branch for my final assault, when the whole Tree groaned under my feet.

Tuned-bronze walls of sound assaulted my ears, crashing down upon me in a deafening avalanche. It was horrible, like the dying, drawn out groan of a battlefield, every soldier weary of life. The whole thing buckled beneath us and I grabbed a branch to keep from falling off as the Tree slowly began to topple sideways. Rather conveniently, right into the Director's office...

I closed my eyes and held tight, the jarring impact of collision almost knocking me loose regardless. I'm not sure how long I clutched the branch for. I only let go when the final scream of a dying Tree had ended. Tumbling out of the branches onto what remained of the broken office flooring, I rolled to a halt against one of the walls

I hurt all over and couldn't walk too well, so I just lay there for a moment, before figuring that I'd better get further away from the flames before they burnt me to death. Half-crawling, half-rolling, I came up against another wall and looked up at the bones within.

Every one of them was broken, connecting veins dead and pale. Sighing at the effort I didn't want to take, I hauled myself to my feet at last and looked around. The innards of every wall were just the same, dead or dying, no more, none left. As my weary gaze traveled the room, I picked out other key features.

There was the dead body of a Tormentor, head smashed in. There was Mousy, Paul, my friend and companion, lying next to him. The Skeleton, his broken form caught in the branches where I'd fought him. And there was the Director himself, back to human and pinned to the floor by a tree branch stabbed through his chest, breathing heavily as his eyes started to glaze over with death. He no longer seemed full of darkness, inhuman with unearthly powers. What I faced was now just a man, frail and full of fault.

I walked over to him and looked down at the man, this monster of monsters, directly responsible for all the evil that had been done.

"How many patients did you kill?" I asked him, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. I saw the little demons in those white orbs staring back at me defiantly.

"As many as I could," he mumbled, spitting blood out from between his lips. "I had as many people as possible committed to the Ward, so that the Tree might feast on them. After I learned that it could give me what I wanted, I made it my goal in life to keep it fed."

"Where did the Tree come from?" I asked.

He didn't answer me for a moment and I thought he might be gone, eyes closing with death. But then they snapped wearily open again to look at me.

"Hell, probably. It was already here when I took over from Siegfried. Already leeching the life out of this place and sending its roots through the walls. I just gave it what Siegfried didn't have the guts to..."

"Do you regret it?" I asked quietly, staring into his eyes, trying to find the answer as to why someone would do this.

He just coughed once more and laid his head back, eyes closing for the last time. There was a whispering sound like a deep sigh, on the very edge of my hearing. It was as if Atrium Psychiatric Ward itself was relieved at his passing, glad to be free.

I heard another sighing sound behind me, this one very much real. I turned to find myself face to beak with the Ethereal Vulture, who stood staring down at the Director's corpse with a resigned expression on his face.

"Fool," he muttered, words aimed at the Director. "All of this, and you let a little girl beat you?"

"In his defense, I had help." I said to him.

The Ethereal Vulture turned to me, eyes doing that weird twinkling thing.

"Nillium Neems. You are a rather unexpected force to be reckoned with. I underestimated you."

I shrugged.

"I got lucky. But I'm too tired to stand here and banter. Are you going to kill me now, bird brain?"

He moved closer, almost beak to nose with me now.

"Tempting. But I did tell you that safe passage would be yours. You are free to leave Atrium, Nillium Neems. Don't cross my path again, or I will be forced to deal with you personally. Go and lead a normal life."

He turned his back, floating away over the broken ground.

"Who are you?" I called after him. "What's your part in the events that took place here?"

He didn't answer, soon disappearing out of sight. I was too weak to follow him. And at this point, I decided it didn't matter who he was.

I turned to look at the Director's body once more, only to see it fading away. There was a small flash of light and a little pink rose appeared where he'd lain, emitting a cheerful glow of its own that brightened up the room. I reached out and touched one of the petals with my good arm, feeling the damp softness beneath my fingers, smooth like silk.

So much had happened here, and many good people had gone to rest. I smiled, figuring I had earned some rest myself, a long sleep, perhaps forever. After all I'd done, I surely deserved one...

For the final time, my Bookish Friend,

Nillium Neems, Out!

Day 1

Hi. My name is Nillium Amelia Neems. I am twelve years old. I'm rather hesitantly writing here, because today has been rather... eventful, and I need to get my thoughts down on paper. Even if what I'm about to write may seem a bit strange.

Anyways, I slept in a bit today, since it was a weekend and I had no school, and Mom thought it would be fun to have a yard sale. Yay... Not that we really need to get rid of stuff, she just decided it would be an entertaining way to spend the day. Mom's weird sometimes.

So, I was sent upstairs to rummage for stuff in the attic, when I found myself surrounded by Bogey Men. Don't worry just yet, they weren't real. I suffer from what people like to call schizophrenia (supposedly), and sometimes I have these 'mental attacks' where weird stuff starts appearing. Usually I just wait it out.

As I sat there in the attic, waiting for the Bogey Men to go away, I took the opportunity to study what junk we might have that could possibly sell.

An old mattress, too small for me now, some cheapo writing desk, boxes and boxes of who knew what, and a deep blue-colored shelf. It was the shelf that interested me, for I didn't remember ever seeing it.

Realizing the Bogey Men had disappeared, I wandered over to inspect this little blue shelf, which seemed remarkably dust free considering the other items in the attic. Four items sat on the shelf.

The first was a big, thick, leather-bound Bible. I plucked that one off right away. It would be nice to have a proper Bible as opposed to the little pocket one that I always carried with me when we went to church.

The second item on the shelf was a Nickel Pocket Watch, with a poem on the back. I twisted the little turn screw, and it started ticking away. That too I kept, stuffing it in a pocket.

The third item on this shelf, was a worn and beaten old Cap, a Charlie Brown one with Snoopy on it. My hands shook as I picked it up, and I'm really not sure why. I'd never seen it before. It was as if my hands knew what it was without any input at all from my brain. I placed it on my head and felt that's where it belonged.

And the fourth, last, and most intriguing item was a small Journal. This Journal, that you have just read. I didn't want to believe it myself, not until I'd read it through to the end. It was as if reading this opened a floodgate in my mind, gushing forth all those forgotten memories, of another time, another life.

For it was real. Believe me, I did research (after I got done panicking). I got on Dad's computer in his office and Googled Atrium Psychiatric Ward. It was a place in Pennsylvania that burned down twelve years ago. Remember, I am twelve years old. The ruins of the Ward were closed and condemned. Countless bones were found there, creating a media-storm.

All kinds of dark rumors began to circulate as to what had gone on within those walls, but only one person living now knows the truth. Me. The Savior of Atrium Psychiatric Ward.

For my bravery there, it seems I was granted a shot at a normal life. Born again to start over, a normal kid in a normal place. Sunny San Diego California. I've always been a bit weird growing up, seemed to know a little more about life than I should, and now I know why.

I doubt I can ever be normal, but hey, maybe I can try. Memories of Atrium haunt me in my dreams, and that place will always be a part of me. I heard the ruins are soon to be plowed over to make a shopping mall. It won't succeed. Atrium is forsaken ground now, not to be trifled with.

Well, my Bookish Friend, I had best draw this to a close. I hear Mom calling to me from downstairs, anxious to start the yard sale. Guess I have to get ready for another day of life. A life lived outside the walls of Atrium, lived as an ordinary, twelve year old kid.

It won't last forever. That, somehow, I know within the Atrium of my own heart. All of my friends, Mousy, Siegfried, Jeremy... I expect I will see them again someday. I feel there are tasks left for me yet, unfinished business with the Tormentors. Memories intact, from another life.

Yes, someday. Not today, not tomorrow, but soon enough. Until that time, my Bookish Friend,

Nillium Amelia Neems, Out!

Author's Note

Enjoyed this book? Look for the upcoming part 2 in the series 'Nillium Neems and the Internet Killer'.

Keep up to date with everything Nillium Neems related at:

Website: www.franciscojruiz.com

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