 
## Secrets Of Sanctuary Hospital A Hidden Enclave Of Angels, Demons, And Vampires

L.A.A. Law

Smashwords Edition

©2011; Edited © 2013 by L.A.A. Law

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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictionally and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events or organizations is entirely coincidental.

# Inside Cover – Synopsis

Mia Angelis is lost. As the daughter of a successful heart transplant surgeon father and pediatric trauma physician mother, she has been compelled since birth to become a physician. A course, unlike her two successful physician siblings, she never desired to pursue and which is slowly strangling the fading embers of her existence. Freezing at the scene of a fatal multi-victim accident during her first year of residency nearly ends her medical career.

While escaping the chains of unending familial disappointment and professional ruins to take a job at a psychiatric teaching hospital with an old mentor in Maine, a near fatal car accident casts Mia into the world of the dead. For the first time, the cinders of Mia's extinguishing life are ignited as she is thrust into intrigue and the surreal world of warring vampires, angels and demons.

Mia's search for answers regarding her rescuers costs her the life of her twin, and unearths an ancient, indiscernible puzzle imprisoning the elusive family who runs this exclusive and isolated institution.

Can she overcome the personal, professional and demonic adversities threatening to forever isolate her and encase the soul of the one who finally led her home or will his twin brother's deception end her life, thrusting her soul into the awaiting arms of darkness; ensuring that the encasements holding the souls of her love and his family are forever sealed; keeping them apart for all eternity.
Table Of Contents

Chapter One - Prologue - The Escape

Chapter Two - Recollections

Chapter Three - Sanctuary

Chapter Four - Andrew

Chapter Five - Getting Down To Business

Chapter Six - Time With Andrew

Chapter Seven - A Late Night

Chapter Eight - A Search For Answers

Chapter Nine - A Family's Secret Revealed

Chapter Ten - Gone

Chapter Eleven - Holiday Games

Chapter Twelve - The Holidays

Chapter Thirteen - Arriving To Shocking Revelations

Chapter Fourteen - New York On New Year's Eve

Chapter Fifteen - Death Arrives Claiming His First Two Victims

Chapter Sixteen - A Sorrowful Return

Chapter Seventeen - A Tearful Trip

Chapter Eighteen - Sanctuary Situations

Chapter Nineteen - An Unexpected Turn Of Events

Chapter Twenty - My Parents Arrival At Sanctuary

Chapter Twenty-One - A Steamy Vision And An Unwelcomed Surprise

Chapter Twenty-Two - A Piercing Realization Shatters Momentary Peace

Chapter Twenty-Three - The Arrival

Chapter Twenty-Four - Stephen's Stunning Secret Is Revealed

Chapter Twenty- Five - Arrival To Tragedy

Chapter Twenty-Six - Springtime

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Confrontation And Commitment

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Andrew's Absence

Chapter Twenty-Nine - An Unsuspected Alliance forms

Chapter Thirty - An Enemy Uncloaked

Chapter Thirty-One -An Ancient Secret Unearthed

Chapter Thirty-Two - Epilogue

Note To Reader

# Chapter One - Prologue – The Escape

As the setting sun glistens on the wet leaves lining the last eight miles of winding road ending my two thousand mile journey across country, I dare to envision the possibility of a new life free from the shadows of my former self. A stray sunbeam flashes across my dashboard revealing a speed of 90 miles per hour. I never imagined when I packed the automobile with my scarce possessions that I would race toward the unknown with such force, tenacity and speed causing a three day journey to be completed in only one. Cracking open the window, my heart races as I dare to breathe the air around me. Air untainted by the never ending disappointment of my mother, the strong disapproval of my father, the superiority exuding from my twin sister's every accomplishment and the constant comparison of my failures to my brother's overwhelming success.

As I round the last curve before reaching the dirt road leading to Sanctuary Hospital and Teaching Academy, a large animal dashes across my headlights. Slamming my breaks, the violent stop snaps my seatbelt. Crashing into the steering wheel, I can't breathe!

Something bashes the side of the car with such intensity, it flips over. Careening down an embankment, my body thrashes against every surface, my bones snap as easily as twigs off a dead tree. Excruciating pain radiates throughout my very being as fear overwhelms me. I am not expected at Sanctuary for two more weeks and a storm is predicted for tomorrow. My world becomes smaller. Unconsciousness threatens to engulf me. A veil of darkness blankets my eyes and I can see the irony of it all. I journeyed here hoping for a fresh start, a new life, but fate decided to bring me here only to end my useless and solitary old one. Slipping into my unconscious abyss, I hear the thunderous growl of an animal which will likely decimate my corpse, leaving no trace of me or my unfulfilled existence.

Floating through this never ending midnight, I can feel myself descending into a biting cold which envelops my being.

Am I dead? If I am, why hasn't the pain evaporated and my essence become peaceful? Are my parents right? Was my life wrought with such mishaps, failings and inability to persevere that I am condemned to suffer the excruciating pain of the dammed to atone for the endless shame and disappointment I thrust upon my family? My heart sinks as I consider spending eternity in this dark emptiness penetrating my very soul without ever being able to forge ahead and prove myself to my family, who saw me as nothing but a failure. My consciousness registers breathing which is not my own.

Someone's strong, cold hands are pulling me tightly to their chest, but I can't find the strength to speak. Hope creeps into my heart! Has someone found me? Struggling to open my eyes, my lids are sealed shut! My immobility extinguishes my elation.

A soft voice pulls me from my desolation. "What happened?"

A melodic, male voice whispers. "She was caught in the crossfire and suffered a terrible accident. I snatched her from the vehicle before he approached. We have to hide her!"

Relief washes through me, but I cannot make sense of his words. No one knows me here. Why would he need to hide me? My injuries have to be obvious! Why aren't they taking me to Sanctuary to seek treatment? Desperate to communicate with my rescuers, I struggle to speak, but remain mute!

I hear a door creak and a sweet voice. "We're ready, put her down carefully."

The darkness becomes brighter, but still I cannot see! I lay still and cold, not able to move even my fingers! A new tingling sensation courses up my arm, moves though me, dulling the pain, but still I cannot force myself to move. My heart races faster, my lungs feel as if they will burst and then my brain detaches from my body. I am floating.

Suspended over myself, I can see my bloodied and broken body. Kneeling beside me is a man and two women. The women's porcelain faces are exquisite and one of them reminds me of Eva, the physician who offered me refuge to fix my shattered life. Their bright, blue eyes are full of concern and their ruby lips whisper something I cannot hear. As I turn toward the man whose hands are suspended over my heart, his sky blue eyes shoot up to mine. At that moment, I know I am dying and they are here to lead my essence to whatever in life comes next. Their exquisite faces and beautiful eyes reflect the heavens. I am hopeful that my past fears of descending to hell are incorrect. No one this beautiful could be guides to the underworld. Maybe my life was not wrought with such failure that I am... Before I finish my thought, my spirit descends down, plunging me into darkness and dulling pain.

Vaguely aware that my rescuing angels are speaking of my injuries, I strain to hear them. The man's voice is taut with anguish. "She has a concussion, broken leg and arm, collapsed lung and several broken ribs, one is piercing her heart."

Hearing this, I embrace my immobility fearing that if I move, the angels will disappear and I will be left alone in the darkness to die!

"Do you think you can save her?" The woman mutters softly.

"It will take all of my strength to begin the healing process and we will have to work quickly! I felt her slipping away, but she is back now." His reply sounds strained.

I hear nothing in the background to indicate we are in a hospital. If a rib is piercing my heart, they need to operate before I bleed to death internally. I want to scream and beg them to do something, but as the pain becomes duller and duller, I slip deeper into unconsciousness and the blackness of my own mind.

# Chapter Two – Recollections

Trapped within my solitude, glimpses of my life flash through my mind, showing me how I arrived here. I am the youngest in my family, even though this was only accomplished by a minute. My father, a prestigious, transplant surgeon, travels throughout the world to operate on the most risky patients, while my mother achieves acclaim as a pediatric trauma surgeon. My twin sister and brother followed my parents' established path and are on their way to becoming reputable trauma physicians, while I continue to be a never ending disappointment.

Despite graduating medical school with honors, my career began careening when I was just an intern and called upon to assist the victims of a MBTA crash. The scene envelops me. I can feel the panic still. Multiple bodies are lying in a makeshift triage tent amidst chaos. Someone thrusts medical supplies in my hands and orders me to assist Dr. Olstein in the train. Climbing over wreckage, I find him hovering over a small girl whose face is wrought with pain. I can't understand why she is not crying out. To my horror, I see a pole protruding from her neck covered in blood. Sensing her desperation to connect with someone in her final moments, my eyes lock upon hers. I can hear Dr. Olstein reassuring her that she'll be fine, but the dead look in his eyes tells me otherwise. Her eyes shift to his. As her deadened stare returns to me, her desolate face tells me that this fact registers with her as well. I can no longer make sense of the world I have been forced to enter. Despite my inability to move, Dr. Olstein removes the pipe. The girl shrieks, her eyes roll back into her head and my world becomes black. Waking, I can see the pandemonium settling into organized chaos, but I cannot force myself to engage with assisting victims. Dr. Olstein orders me home and to report to his office in the morning. Shivers roll down my spine as I freeze before the crumpled train and the girl's pale, still face overwhelms my mind. In that instant, I know that my medical career is coming to an abrupt end.

I am no longer cold. The pain is a dull ache. Thrust back into my past, I can see Dr. Olstein's door down the narrow corridor. My legs feel like lead weights wading through a rushing flood as I force myself forward knowing that I will once again thrust disappointment upon my family. Horror washes over me as I open the door and spy my family. Each face reflects the same disheartened look. My heart sinks as my father shakes his head infinitesimally. He turns without a word. Failing them yet again, I sit in the corner chair at the back of the room. They talk about me as if I am not here. Despite my having no say, Dr. Olstein executes transfer papers sending me to Minnesota to work with my siblings. Returning home, my belongings are packed into a moving truck and there is an impersonal note on the counter. My apartment will be sublet and I am to report to my siblings in three days. Picking up the letter, I mechanically walk out the door, climb into the truck and begin the long journey which will once again consume my existence and cast me into the shadows of my shining siblings.

With each passing mile, visions of my life sweep through my mind. Although the first few miles are filled with the joy of being a toddler when my parents would cuddle with me and my siblings loved playing with me, even these memories are marred by the anticipation of my upcoming disappointment.

A gentle, cool caress along my check brings me to the present. "Don't leave me, not now" an anguished voice whispers softly. Struggling to wake and see who could possibly care if I recover; the pain pierces my heart. I am thrust into my thoughts.

My father always tried to prepare us to become physicians. My siblings loved to go with him to the lab. Although the rides were wonderful, filled with stories about how great he felt saving a mother or a child who could look forward to a future that they wouldn't otherwise have, my time in the lab was not. My dissecting technique never met the expertise displayed by my siblings, as my father deftly reminded me.

My hopes that these comparisons would end at the lab are quickly dashed. After three grueling days of my mother stabilizing young victims of a bus accident, my father thought camping at Lake Anna would allow our family to reconnect. He sets a quick pace which my mother and siblings meet. My observations leave me playing catch up. Tripping over the undergrowth, my mother stops to bandage my cuts, causing her to sigh.

The last remnants of the sun's beams reflect off the calm, clear lake as we fish. Catching a fish, my father tosses it expertly into our cooler. Feeling a tug, desperate to impress my father, I motion to him to get the net. Scooping it up, he compliments me. "We'll eat well tonight." My elation is cut short when Katrina catches a fish and tosses it into our cooler. My father picks her up and swings her around. "You are a natural born fisherman!"

Returning to camp, my father praises Stephan on the expert campfire, while my mother commends Katrina on how well she fillets the fish and suggests that I learn her technique.

Knowing my father's quiet complement is more than I should have hoped for, I volunteer to wash the dishes. Sitting in the darkness, knowing no one will realize my absence from camp, I allow the peaceful surroundings to lull me to sleep. A horrible screeching wakes me! Stumbling around, I almost fall upon a bald eagle. It's been attacked, probably by the growling fox approaching us. In a panic to save the eagle, I jump in front of it and begin hurling dishes. Something rustles the tall grass and to my relief the fox disappears. Turning, I see the eagle's torso covered with blood, its wings extensively damaged. Even collapsed, the majestic bird is beyond compare. Kneeling down to touch him, someone grabs my hand whirling me around. "What are you doing?" Stephen screams as Katrina runs towards us. The eagle's anguished cry causes me to whirl back toward him, but Stephan orders me to get our father and medical supplies. My father sings Stephen and Katrina's praises for making a splint from twigs.

We take the bird back to camp. Since it no longer requires medical attention, my siblings lose interest and go swimming as I empty one of our containers into my pack and place my towel on the bottom along with leaves and twigs to make a nest. Gently placing the eagle inside, I stroke his feathers as he rests.

Two days later, Ranger Rosewood comes by. I'm elated as he compliments me on the wonderful habitat and takes my email address.

A week later, I receive an email showing the eagle flying across the moonlit lake, returning to his natural habitat.

I free fall into my last day of high school. Despite graduating second in my class, my mother feels the need give me a back handed compliment. "Mia, I commend you on your hard work, but I hope you really listen to your sister's valedictorian speech. You could also achieve if you, as Katrina stated, 'reach beyond mere expectations and expend effort to bring something to this world which is beneficial and far reaching.'" Knowing that nothing I ever do will meet her or my father's approval, I thank her for the compliment so I can go to my room.

The next morning, we report to the hospital. My siblings are assigned to patient care, while I'm ordered to report to Dr. St. Cloud in the psychiatric ward as a transcriber. Excited, I fly toward the elevator. As the doors open, I catch sight of the most beautiful woman, her blue eyes shine like a cloudless summer day.

She interrupts my gawking by shoving several manila folders toward me. "These need to be transcribed and emailed to Dr. Taylor in New York before he boards a plane in an hour."

Glancing at her name tag, it reads Dr. Eva St. Cloud, psychiatrist.

Lifting my chin with her cold index finger, her eyes bore into mine. "Are you paying attention? This needs to be done immediately. I hope that you don't expect preferential treatment because of your parents. I know our division is not one of your father's favorites, but our work is essential, so I expect you to work proficiently."

Desperate to stay away from my siblings, I try to gage my voice to sound professional. "Dr. St. Cloud, I assure you that Dr. Taylor will have the records without delay."

As she scurries toward the secure area, I go to the nurses' station to secure a terminal and immediately become engrossed in the transcription. William was brought back into the hospital by his aunt who heard him talking to someone, but no one was there. "I know that you hate me for escaping the hell that you are trapped in, but you loved me once so why would you condemn me to share in your fate?" As she approached, she smelled gas and saw William raise a lit lighter. Wrestling it away, she called the EMT's. Completing the transcription, I turn to the notes indicating that William's delusions regarding his brother's apparitions were getting worse and that he continues to draw pictures of his brother being surrounded by demonic looking creatures.

As I hit send, Dr. St. Cloud appears, drops off more work and scurries out. Wanting her to know I can do the job, I call to her. "Dr. Taylor just emailed that he received the file."

I complete my work with forty-five minutes to spare and pick up William's file wondering what initiated his delusions. My heart sinks as I realize that it began when William was four. He is the sole survivor of a home invasion which left his mother, father and brother with their throats slit. Police discovered William in a hall closet, mumbling inaudibly and gripping the blood stained teddy bear of his younger brother, James. Despite their slashed throats, there was no blood at the scene, each body was drained. My stomach lurches thinking about what he witnessed. Reading on, there were no signs of struggle or forced entry. Dr. Taylor was the attending then. At first, William was unresponsive. When Dr. Taylor finally got him to speak, he described the killers as scary, white faced monsters with black eyes and unparalleled strength. As William grew, he drew disturbing pictures of his family surrounded by dark figures with pale white faces, long teeth with blood dripping down the sides of their mouth and surrounded by crimson light. The file contains numerous dated pictures which progressively become better defined. My spine tingles as I look at the last picture, a portrait style, full-color drawing of his family lying lifeless in a hallway surrounded by four black eyed, white faced dark haired individuals with their teeth dripping blood, surrounded by dark shadowy figures whose eyes are crimson red. My eyes are drawn to a doorway where a blonde, blue eyed, golden haired woman dressed in sky blue stands. She is encircled in a soft golden hue. Her perfect porcelain face is wrought with dismay as her eyes peer upon the horrific scene.

The remaining pages note how William is descending into a world filled with darkness and solitude, believing that his family members are returning as pale faced monsters to ensure he shares in their fate.

Engrossed, I am unaware Stephan stepped in. Pulling the file from me, he tosses it as if it is as inconsequential to the hospital as I'm sure he sees me. His sarcastic attitude matches his movements. "How was your first day of strenuous medical training? Did you pull a muscle typing? Dad is upset about your placement and mom is furious that you never showed for lunch."

I desperately want to tell him off, but know that if I had gone with them to patient care, I probably would be the first volunteer to be asked not to return. Stephan has a superior attitude because he knows he is better and so do I. Knowing he is the least of my problems, I fly past him hoping to get all the sarcasm over at once. We're almost to the garage, when the elevator doors opens and Dr. St. Cloud enters. She's on the telephone. "Thank you, I will tell her."

Stephan can't resist taking this last opportunity to belittle me, probably knowing that once I enter the car, my parents will take center stage with that task. Biting my lip, I brace for his next shot. "Are you going to tell mom that you missed lunch because filing gave you a paper cut? You should have come to emergency, Katrina or I could have professionally bandaged you." He smirks.

Before I can respond, Dr. St. Cloud turns to me. "Dr. Taylor thanked you for your efficiency. The information you transcribed helped save a life today. Good job!" Astonished, I barely get out a "Thank you" before Stephan drags me toward the car. I see her smirk and hope that this means she will let me stay.

Dr. St. Cloud's words ring in my ears as I slip quickly into the car to face my father whose arms are folded, face fierce, while my mother appears disgruntled. Desperate not to have my elation from her compliment destroyed by my parents' discontent, I apologize quickly. "I'm sorry I missed lunch, but they needed to have notes transcribed and forwarded to a physician on an emergency case." My mother's face softens slightly, but my heart sinks as I turn toward my shouting father. "Why didn't you tell the administrator that I arranged for you to be assigned to patient care?"

I want to shout back, but know that would only bury my hopes further, so I try to be diplomatic. "Dad, I went where I was instructed. You always say to assist those who need help."

"I will have you transferred in the morning!" He retorts angrily.

Desperate to hold on to this position, I am stunned to realize it is not because it takes me away from my siblings, but because reading about the treatment of the human psyche is actually something I connect with and find interesting. Knowing I can never tell my father this because he believes psychiatry is for quacks, I try diplomacy. "Dad, please they need my help while they search for a permanent replacement. I promise that I will come to the lab, learn about patient care, and study longer hours for my pre-med courses if you let me stay. I heard that the unit is already scrambling to replace Dr. St. Cloud who is leaving soon."

His exasperated response reflects his irritation. "I won't interfere for a month if you truly apply yourself and show progress then you're off to patient care! You know you need the practice."

My memories are interrupted by two cold finger tips pressing lightly below my jaw. "Her pulse is getting stronger." His voice sounds relieved. "We can move her tomorrow. Is everything ready?"

"It will be, but you need to be careful!" A faintly familiar female voice cautions.

"I will leave her on the south side."

Cold fingers massage my temple. I want to shake them off, to wake up and get some answers, but instead fall deeper into my unconsciousness as a soft, comforting voice flows through my thoughts. "You are safe and healing." Despite their cold touches, their warm, reassuring voices remind me of Dr. St. Cloud. An image of her begins to flow through the darkness. Her features absolutely angelic as her blue eyes sparkle and a soft, golden glow surrounds her. Even in my semi-conscious state, I can feel myself gasp. This is the first time I can feel anything in my body move. Concentrating on opening my eyes, I'm excited as they flutter, but then am plunged back into the abyss.

Thoughts of Eva begin swirling around me as if I am flipping through a computer photo album, the friendship we forged and her continued interest in my wellbeing. It's this relationship which fueled my desire to escape to her safe haven when faced with my inability to continue on the medical path which I had been compelled to undertake.

My thoughts rest on the week before I leave for college and she is leaving to return to Maine with William.

As she enters the lunchroom, I can tell she wants my attention and close my book. "Mia, I'd like to offer you some advice." She sits across from me.

"Absolutely" I am eager to hear any advice someone so together would share.

"You are a strong, bright individual who has a lot to offer. The work you did for me is impeccable and I can tell you enjoy it."

I smile widely knowing she is not easily pleased.

"I know your father did not appreciate my stopping your transfer, but I saw the pressure he places on you, the arguments with him and your siblings and your declining self-image, I wanted to give you some breathing room. You cannot allow your family to dictate who you should be. You have a bright future ahead of you, if you follow your own path and believe in what you are doing."

I'm so excited that she thinks I did something right. "This summer has been great! I really enjoyed working for you and reading about the demons that torture these patients' souls and compel them to actions which they would not otherwise consider." If I was being truthful, I would have told her that reading their stories helped me better understand some of my own actions. "I hope you know I don't agree with my father at all. I think what you do is amazing! You give your patients a safe haven within their own consciousness. That is a monumental task which reaches beyond mere medical training. Do you think that William will be alright when he goes back to Maine with you?"

She smiles. "William felt much better and made considerable progress there. I'm sure he'll be fine." She reaches into her pocket and withdraws something. "Mia, when you go off to college, I would like you to do something for me."

"Sure!" I wonder what I could possibly do for someone so accomplished.

Her eyes soften and her tone becomes very friendly. "Mia, I need you to remember that even well-meaning parents can unwittingly pressure their children to follow a path that may not be the right fit. You need to take the time while you're at school to discover what you want to do with the rest of your life. Don't let others define your worth." She hands me her business card. "I would love for you to let me know how you are doing and for you to call me with any questions."

"Thank you, I will." As she leaves, I wonder if she observed something in me that made her concerned for me clinically, rather than just keeping a friendly eye on my future. Regardless, I'm glad to have someone like her in my corner because she is easy to talk to and would never pass judgment on my choices.

# Chapter Three – Sanctuary

My visions fade as two cool hands lift me. "Support her head. I don't want her jostled."

As his arms embrace me, contentment washes over my entire being.

A female voice cautions, "Be careful, I can sense the changes in the atmosphere. Would you like some help?"

"No, I want to stay close by and make sure she is alright. Don't worry." He sounds unconcerned.

A soft breeze lifts the tendrils of my hair. The haziness of my mind begins clearing. His muscular arms tighten around my shoulder bringing me closer to his chest as he walks over uneven terrain.

His breath tickles my ear. "Your injuries are almost fully healed. You'll be able to open your eyes as soon as I leave." His voice turns pleading. "Please forget this happened. Let the hospital staff believe your delay from Minnesota is because you stopped to enjoy some sights."

How does he know where I was arriving from or where I am going? I have so many questions, but cannot find my voice. We must have reached the car because he lowers me onto a seat. Withdrawing his arms from me, I can no longer sense his presence. My pulse races wildly, my heart pounds like a sonic boom. What if my sight doesn't return?

Detecting my panic, he returns. Placing his strong hand over mine, gently stroking my knuckles, he whispers. "Don't worry, you're safe. When I leave, your sight will return and you'll be able to speak again. You're not far from your destination." His sultry voice is reassuring. I take a deep breath. Letting it out, I feel the absence of his presence and my eyes flutter open.

Knowing that stepping out into the night air will clear the cobwebs surrounding my consciousness, my hand glides toward the door. Moving the handle, I become frightened, but his gentle voice swims through my mind, calming me. I know he's not far away. He must not be concerned about any animals. Maybe I can find him. Although why he would not take me directly to a hospital still makes me curious as to what they are trying to hide. Stepping out, I leave the door open in case I have to jump back inside. Stumbling over the uneven ground, I'm sure he's out in the darkness. "Hello, are you there?"

A rustling noise from behind sends my heart pounding, blocking my air passage. My eyes dart around. Fur brushes against the back of my lower calves as my eyes meet a little brown bunny hopping away. Sinking to the ground, I laugh uncontrollably. I hear a low chuckle. Out of the darkness comes a howl. I bolt upright. Fear engulfs my heart as I rush back, jump into my car and start the engine. I can't believe that it doesn't even sputter. Unthinking, I reach for the seatbelt and freeze as I click it into place, realizing it is no longer broken. Looking around the car, there are no signs of the accident.

Hearing another howl, I drive quickly, unsure of where I am or how to get where I am going. As the sky ahead lightens, calmness spreads throughout my entire being, unlike I have ever felt before. Through the trees, I see light shining from oversized, old fashion lanterns aligning both a walking and driving path. I drive into a parking area.

Walking up a small path, I enter a cul-de-sac area with a beautiful courtyard surrounded by several mansions and one oversized, summer cottage. Heading toward the cottage, I hope someone can give me directions to the hospital.

Unsure of the time, I gently knock on the door and am startled to hear a familiar voice. "Come on in, my arms are full, but the door is unlocked."

I step into a grand hallway. Dr. St. Cloud is holding a stack of colorful sheets. Her greeting is friendly. "Your timing is perfect. How was your trip?" Before I answer, she begins ascending the staircase.

Stunned, I follow her in silence into a suite with an oversized sitting room. Passing through it, we enter an antique bedroom. Placing the blankets down, Eva turns. "I hope you don't mind the antiquated furniture, we never updated these rooms."

Gliding my hand over the brass mirror adorning the bureau, I am elated. "This suite is beautiful."

I follow her into the kitchenette. "It's small, but Gabriel does most of the cooking and we have a full kitchen downstairs."

We return to the living room. "I should let you get settled. I'll have Gabriel retrieve your bags and will see you in the morning."

She turns to leave. "Eva, can I ask you something?" I hear my nervousness. How can I ask her the questions I need answers to without her wondering if I am crazy.

She crosses the room and sits still and motionless, except for her apprising eyes, next to a dimly lit lamp. "Sure, what's on your mind?" I'm stunned. She looks like a porcelain doll, eyes bright, and face pale.

I fidget, searching for a question that won't have her questioning my sanity. "Is this entire area the hospital? It looks more like a wealthy homeowners' society."

She laughs. "Long ago a family did live here, but after suffering a tragedy, the founders picked up the area cheap. They loved the grand architecture and thought that it would be a nicer environment for the patients. Our patients are all considered beyond conventional psychiatric treatment and our terminal patients have exhausted all approved experimental treatments. Considering how secluded you become working here, the founders probably kept it the way it was so that they could entice physicians to come so far out with a unique experience that they could not get anywhere else."

My heart races as I struggle to ask the questions I really need answers to. After hearing them, will she second guess her decision to have me here?

"Mia, is everything alright, you seem out of sorts?"

My voice becomes soft as my eyes drop to the floor. "What day it is?"

"It's Tuesday." Her voice registers her concern. "Mia, what's the matter? I have never known you to lose track of days."

"Please, just one more question. What's the date?"

"It's October twenty-third. We were expecting you days ago." I lost three weeks! Sure she caught my surprise; I am relieved when her tone becomes conversational. "Was your trip cross country so good that you lost track of time?"

I relax. "I'm sorry. I can't resist sightseeing. I lost my cell phone and you know how I use that to keep track of everything, even days."

She smiles. "When Gabriel brings your bags, have him get you a new one. We always have extras around."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, anything you need, just ask Gabriel. If we don't have it on hand, he'll secure it for you. I have to leave and check on a patient, but if you need me I will be returning shortly. My room is down the hall and is number two which is also my number on your phone. Get some rest. I will see you bright and early, we start at six and work very long hours, but I really think you'll enjoy it here." Rising, she is out the door in an instant.

Grabbing my backpack, I head toward the shower. Turning the antique shower handle, the water falls just so into the free stranding claw tub and I pull a soft, silky curtain of the palest blue with white, wispy clouds. Putting my clothes on the antiquated, wicker three draw chest, I move to the free standing pillar sink and can't help staring in the mirror, I am stunned. My face is free of any scarring or discoloration. Running my fingers over my cheeks and chin, there aren't even traces of scars. Taking off my clothes, sure that there will be some marks from where they had to operate to remove the rib which pierced my heart; my mouth falls as I see no indication that I was hurt at all. Descending onto the floor, my mind reels. I know I was in an accident. I felt the gashes and pain. I felt my bones break and broken bones don't heal in just weeks. My mind free falls and my body tenses. Maybe a warm shower will relax me and I can recall the details more clearly. I climb into the tub with ease which aggravates me. Quickly turning the shower on, I shiver as the cold water splashes over my back. As the water warms, my body slowly becomes engulfed by the hot steamy shower and my thoughts drift to a vision of a dark haired man leaning over me, cleaning wounds on my face and arms with a warm wash cloth. My memory fades abruptly when I hear a knock on the door. "I'll be right there."

Throwing on my sweats, I scurry across the room. There in the doorway stands a tall, sandy haired man approximately six foot three. His muscular arms filled with my suitcases. Despite the brisk night air, he wears only a black short sleeved button down shirt. Looking up, my eyes lock on his beautiful sky blue eyes. They hold the same soft billows as Eva's and sparkle in the lamp light. He appears to be her male counterpart, with the same beautiful, porcelain face. She never mentioned having a brother. "Thank you for bringing my bags, you can just leave them here."

"Eva requested I place them in your room." He glides through the two doorways quickly and returns before I even moved.

"If you need anything else, I'm just down the hallway and am number twelve on your telephone. I usually have breakfast ready by 5:30. Would you prefer eggs or waffles?"

"Anything is fine. Thank you again."

"I'll see you in the morning." He is down the hallway before I even close the door, probably anxious to get some rest.

Entering the bedroom, I am not sleepy. I feel like I have been asleep for weeks, and, based upon the date, I have. I unpack and then place my music box and the only picture I took during my escape of my family in the living room. Sitting on the couch, staring at the picture of us when we were at Lake Anna and I was holding the box with the eagle, I fall asleep.

My eyes open as the first sunbeams warm my face. Jumping up, I shower, grateful that the clock reads 5:00. Coming out of my bedroom, I notice a lab coat on the door hang. Putting it on, I feel a note in the pocket and open it quickly, hoping it is a map of the buildings, but it's just a reminder to eat before meeting Eva at the administration building at six.

Heading downstairs, Gabriel is at the door. He turns. "Good morning, I hope you slept well."

"Yes I did, thank you. I hope my late arrival didn't leave you sleep deprived."

"Not at all, I'm just on my way to open the lab but there is a Belgian waffle and coffee for you in the kitchen, along with a map."

The cherry kitchen with Chantilly lace walls is quaint and cheerful. Committing the map to memory, I rush to administration. Stepping through the doorway as the grandfather clock chimes is like stepping back in time, complete with a stone fireplace in the grand foyer.

A statuesque, sandy haired woman heads toward me extending her hand. "You must be Mia. I'm Catherine. Eva has spoken so highly of you; it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

She is devastatingly beautiful with her sky blue sparkling eyes and porcelain complexion, but it isn't her beauty which takes me aback. She is one of the three I saw when I was floating over myself.

"Dr. Angelis, is anything wrong?" Her eyes narrow and her stare becomes almost hypnotic. It feels as if she is trying to pull my thoughts directly from my mind.

I force my eyes from hers. "No, I'm sorry, you just remind me of someone."

The door opens, it's Eva. "I see you met Catherine, she will guide you through all the paperwork." She turns to Catherine. "Make sure she is fully equipped and she needs a new telephone." Turning back to me, "I have to settle in a new patient, but you are in good hands." She's out the door in a flash.

Standing there, I wonder if when I was thinking about her, it was because she was there too. I shake my head, trying to rid my errant thoughts. I came here to feel useful, to work, not to start trouble or make waves.

I spend the day filling out paperwork and becoming familiar with the expansive computer system.

"Do you feel overwhelmed yet?" Catherine asks politely.

In truth, I am overwhelmed and sure that she will be another person I disappoint with my inability, but I cannot say this. "I believe I have most of it." My facial features betray me.

Her voice turns friendly. "Mia, it will take several weeks for you to even feel comfortable with this. Eva still calls me when she inadvertently sends everything off site. Don't be afraid to call me with questions. I will place myself as speed dial one." She looks at her watch. "I didn't realize how late it is, you must be starving. I just need to download a few more things to your computer, scheduler and blackberry, but I'll bring them to you at the residency."

It's twilight when I walk back noticing how unique this one of kind institution really is. The pathways are lined with ash, black and red maple trees. Their broad bases rise high into the shadowing sky, intertwining and forming arches. It is amazing. The wind blows gently across my face. Inhaling deeply, I can smell the clean, crisp air. Even though I came here as a physician, I feel the cleansing air fill my lungs and the quiet beauty envelop my very essence trying to heal me. The milieu is so calming, it touches my soul.

Entering the residency, I see Gabriel ascending the stairs. He turns. "Good evening Mia. I hope she didn't try to cram the whole working system into your brain. She gets enthusiastic sometimes. I'm still trying to learn it, but I wasn't afraid to tell her to slow down." He laughs and his blue eyes sparkle.

"She is very informative. I just hope my comprehension wasn't so slow that I kept her from her duties."

"Mia, you shouldn't get down on yourself. Eva told me you are self-deprecating. You are here because she knows what an intelligent, caring physician you are. We all have our moments of doubt, especially here where we deal with some of the most heart wrenching cases. A good, positive attitude about yourself and the wonderful work that you will be performing will help you through those trying times."

"Thank you, I'll try to remember that." I wonder if Eva has told him everything about me and hope that she hasn't. My stomach growls and I don't want to keep him from wherever he is going. "Gabriel, would you mind if I take some things from the kitchen, if I replace them?"

He smiles warmly. "The kitchen is for everyone. In fact, leave a list of what you would like from the store, the supply truck will be arriving tomorrow and I'll call it in. I left some chowder on the table for you. If you'll excuse me, I have some research to review." He ascends the remaining stairs quickly.

# Chapter Four – Andrew

Entering the kitchen, I notice a tall, muscle toned man; his head hanging; gripping the counter with his back towards me. Not wanting to disturb him, I turn to leave, but my stomach growls causing him to turn around. He doesn't meet my eyes, but the anguish dominating his features is inescapable and I feel an overwhelming desire to wrap my arms around him and comfort him. His short, raven hair frames his pale complexion, high cheekbones and sculpted lips. He is devastatingly beautiful, irrespective of his tortured features.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know anyone was in here. Are you alright?"

His eyes slowly draw up meeting mine. I am mesmerized by his anguished glare. His gray eyes remind me of turbulent storm clouds. He struggles to control whatever emotions threaten to overtake him, his eyes flash serene blue before returning to gray. I must have been looking at a computer screen too long. Staring at him, the image of the man hovering over me flitters across my memory. I am sure he is the reason that I am standing here now. "It's you!"

Before I can say anything more, his sultry, tenor voice entangles my mind. "I lost a good soul today. It hit me very hard. You must be Mia, I'm Andrew."

His narrowing eyes tell me that he recognizes me and answered my earlier question to distract me. If they work here, why didn't they take me here? Why are they pretending they didn't save me?

He gestures toward the table with his long fingers, interrupting my thoughts. "Your dinner will get cold. Don't let my dark mood keep you from eating."

Hunger gets the better of me. I sit down, mindful that he is the one who asked me not to bring up my accident. Maybe in his obvious distraction, I can get some answers. "Would you join me? I hate to eat alone."

He hesitates, but sits down.

Knowing that asking about my accident straight away will only cause him to leave, I start with the only other topic I can. "What was your patient's name?"

"Amber."

"Was she sick for a long time?"

"No, her parents transferred her here to undergo experimental treatment. Amber suffered severe head trauma during a train accident in Boston and never regained consciousness."

I gasp as unbidden visions of the little girl on the train invade my memory.

"Am I upsetting you?"

"No, I was at that accident a lot of good people died! How did she die?"

His voice is taut with anguish. "Her organs finally failed. I wish her family had made it up to be with her in her final moments instead of me. Her mother is going to be devastated."

He must be part of the terminal care department. I wonder if he is new. "Is this the first time you have lost a patient?"

"No, I head the terminal department."

"Does losing patients ever get easier?" I know my inquiry sounds absurd, but I can't help wondering if it ever gets better or if I will carry the look of the girl on the train and the patient I couldn't save in Minnesota, who jumped off a building screaming that there was no other way to stop the voices, to my grave.

A sullen look overtakes him. "It's never easy to lose such a young soul. Amber was only fourteen and the accident is ripping her family apart. Her mother escaped without any serious physical injuries and I'm afraid that the guilt over that and the loss of her daughter will lead her to become a psychiatric patient here. I don't want to see Alex here and Max without a mother!"

"You care a lot for the families of your patients." It's not a question, but an observation from listening to his impassioned voice.

"I just wish I had something comforting to say to them and Amber's soul found solace. I wanted to win this one!"

Listening to the religious overtones of his soliloquy, I can't help but ask. "Are you religious?"

He hesitates. "I know there is an existence for a person's essence after this life."

"Does that help you in dealing with their loss?"

"It helps only when the soul passing will experience the peace of paradise." He sounds frustrated.

"I don't understand. How can you know?"

His features turn concerned and he rises quickly. "I see you finished dinner. Thank you for listening to my ranting. If you'll excuse me, I need to speak with Eva."

As he exits, I chastise myself for missing my opportunity to question him about my accident. Turning to leave, Catherine is there.

"I thought I heard you in here." She places the electronics on the table.

"The chowder is excellent. Can I heat some for you?"

"No thank you, Gabriel brought me some."

"How could he, he went to his room?"

Her eyes shift toward the stove. "He had it delivered. I have to finish a report, excuse me." She bolts gracefully.

My observations can sure clear a room.

Entering my suite, I am met with the fresh scent of gardenias which are next to a big fruit basket with a note reading Hope your first day went well and this will provide healthy midnight snacks until you can fill your cupboards with the good stuff, or should I say your unhealthy favorites. Eva

I'm surprised she remembered my inconsequential mentioning in a college email. Opening my computer, I log onto my messages which is barraged with emails from my sister and mother. I read the last one from my sister first. _Do you always have to be so dramatic? Your phone was returned to mom weeks ago and she is going crazy, especially since you bolted from here without telling anyone where you were headed._

I call my mother. Despite our disagreements, I don't want her worrying. As her phone rings I email my sister. _I did lose my telephone and was in a minor accident on route to a new job. I'm contacting mom now. Sorry for the trouble._ My writing is interrupted when the answering service picks up. "Good evening, how may I assist you?"

"Hello, this is Mia."

"Mia, where have you been? Your mother has been going crazy since someone in New York answered her call! She is in surgery, but I'll get her the message. Where can she reach you?"

"My new number is 207-871-1289."

"Would you like me to send you your telephone?"

"No. Please place it in the donation box for soldiers."

While waiting, I complete my sister's email. _I took a position at Sanctuary Hospital in Maine with Dr. St. Cloud. I just couldn't squeeze my square peg into our family's round hole anymore. It was too hurtful for everyone. I hope your and Stephan's careers will soar now that you don't have to watch out for me any longer._ I hit send as the telephone rings.

"Mom, I'm so sorry that you were worried." I blurt out.

"Where are you? Are you alright?"

I've never heard her voice panicked before. "Mom, I'm fine. I have taken a position at Sanctuary Hospital in Maine."

"Isn't that where Dr. St. Cloud went?"

"Yes it is, why?"

"Did she convince you not to contact us these past few weeks by filling your head with psychological babble that we are putting too much pressure on you again?"

It takes less than two minutes for my mother to slip from concerned to criticizing. I shoot back without thinking. "Eva had nothing to do with that. I was in an accident. I contacted you as soon as I could."

Concern re-enters her voice. "Are you hurt?"

Not wanting to go into details, I lie. "No, it was very minor and I'm fine."

Her condescending, authoritative tone returns. "Mia, just come back! We pulled some strings after your mishap and you can intern here in patient follow-up care on a trial basis. If everything goes smoothly, you can transfer to another department."

I let her continue a little longer, but finally interrupt. "Mom, I love you, but I can't keep causing discord in our family by trying to mold myself into something that I will never be! I will never be a great surgeon or be able to deal with patients on the same level that you molded Stephan and Katrina. I tried and failed miserably! I just can't do it anymore! I can't be the source of my family's unending disappointment. You of all people should be able to understand that especially after witnessing how much my inabilities frustrate dad."

"Mia, losing patients is a hazard of this business. You have to move forward. There are people you could help if you would just stop fighting with everyone and try. You are hiding up there with her!"

"Mom, I'm done arguing! You need to learn to accept two out of three successes. Maybe in time you'll understand. I need to do something different, be somewhere where people don't see me as the only failing Angelis, somewhere where I actually contribute and help. I have accepted a position. I love you, but I'm not coming back! I appreciate your effort, but you shouldn't have pulled favors on a futile mission."

"Mia, that institution is for lost causes. You are giving up, again! All of their patients are beyond help." She sounds exasperated. "When you finally realize this, it will be too late for us to help you! We have pulled every favor due us and then some. Grow up. Face your issues. Be reasonable!"

"Mom, I believe I can make a difference here. If I'm wrong, I will live with the consequences. I tried it your way and failed. Can't you be happy I am getting up and trying again? I can't continue to argue anymore."

"Isn't there anything I can say to prevent you from ruining your life?"

"I'm not ruining it, I'm living it! I have to go." Hanging up, I know my decision will not be accepted. Despite my fervent words, years of insecurity, self-doubt and self-loathing consume me as I offer up a silent prayer that my presence will not do more harm than good and I won't ruin the lives of those who are trying to help me here the way I ruined my family.

Just before I log off, a message pops in my inbox from my sister. Despite wanting to ignore it, I draw in a deep breath and open it, hoping that tomorrow will truly be a fresh start. _Could you be any more selfish? Mom is frantic and can't even talk to dad because he's in Argentina performing a transplant on a diplomat. Are you so bent on destroying your life that you would throw away all of their sacrifices on your behalf! Do you have any idea how much we all risked to keep you on the right path. You may want to pretend you're pursuing a career, but we all know you're just avoiding confronting your demons!_

Her superior attitude jumps off the screen. Wanting to diffuse the idea that they can continue debating my life, I quickly reply, constantly reminding myself that diplomacy, while on the internet, is always best. _Although I appreciate how everyone feels, I am not running away! Our parents are wonderful doctors and so are you and Stephan, but I just can't continue to sculpt myself into what everyone else thinks I should be. I don't want to argue about this. I can't continue to be a source of disappointment to everyone. Someday, I hope you can see my point of view. I love you and tell mom I love her too_. Hitting send, I log off.

I lay in bed for hours while the criticisms from my family hack away at the last remnants of my ravaged soul. As four a.m. rolls around, my body is so rigid and stiff from anxiety, I can barely move. Rising, I shower. As my body relaxes, my mind wanders, but I can't escape their words. Maybe they're right and I am too hopeless to help anyone. Frustrated tears pour down my cheek. I freeze as someone calls my name in a stern voice. "Mia, stop this right now! You are compassionate and will make a world of difference in not only the patients' lives but your own here." Getting out of the shower quickly, I go to see who is speaking but find no one. The dead bolt is still latched.

# Chapter Five – Getting Down To Business

Needing a change of scenery, I decide to introduce myself to the psychiatric night nurses. Tiptoeing down the hallway, I hear voices coming from Gabriel's room. The tenor voice is unmistakable and very angry. "I thought you were keeping an eye on him! Did you know he was going to take her? I didn't want to lose this soul. What happened?"

Gabriel's response sounds irritated. "She wasn't the only soul I was watching out for. We saved the Krimsby baby!"

"He was innocent! They could have never touched him!" Andrew growls back. "What are you hiding?" An agonizing cry draws me closer to the door. "No! You knew they would take her and kept it from me."

Gabriel responds contritely. "You know the treaty we made and how long it took us to agree. She was tagged and your interference could restart our war! It will be strained enough once they realize that she is here. You know who your interference thwarted and how he hates to lose!"

"She was headed here and as far as the one he fears is concerned, he will never have her if I can help it!"

Hearing footsteps, I walk down the hallway quickly. Andrew passes me, slamming the downstairs door. I hear Gabriel behind me.

"Good morning Mia. I hope Andrew and my arguing is not the reason you are up so early." His stare assures me that he is aware I lingered in the hallway.

Trying to sound dismissive, "You didn't disturb me at all. I want to introduce myself to the night staff. I didn't even realize you were arguing until I saw Andrew storm out. Is there anything I can do to help?"

His beatific face appears worried that I heard too much. "Andrew is still upset. Sometimes dealing with patients who are terminal or that society deems reasonless is very difficult and tempers become short, but the difference you make in their lives is immeasurable. It gets to all of us and sometimes we need to vent. Our doors are always open if you need to vent. We may growl sometimes, but we never bite." He chuckles softly as if I'm missing a joke.

"I'll remember that and please think of my door too." With that, I head toward the psychiatric building. As the cold air brushes my face, I laugh. If my family was correct about my running from my troubles, I would have chosen a warmer climate. Hitting my head, I laugh louder. If only I had thought of that last evening, maybe I could have slept.

I didn't hear the approaching footsteps. "What's so funny?" Startled, the computer bag slips from my arm and is about to crash against the pavement. In a flash, it is on my arm.

"How did you catch that?"

"I grabbed it as it was slipping from your arm."

"I could have sworn..."

"Mia, did you sleep last night? You look very tired."

"Thank you for saving the computer, it wouldn't have been my best move to break equipment my first day."

"Mia, equipment is easily replaceable. Are you beating yourself up again? This is a new start. No one here cares about your past. I have spoken very highly of you. I don't speak highly of anyone that I don't have complete confidence in."

We step into another beautiful foyer with coco colored walls, cherry stained wainscoted wood and an open set of double doors leading to beautiful taupe colored living room with antique leather coaches and chairs facing a stone fireplace. The fire is roaring and the room smells of vanilla. I can't help but stare at the brilliant picture above the mantle. "This scene is my favorite" Eva remarks softly.

The painting is a lighthouse, amidst a rolling sea covered with white caps. It shoots a brilliant beam across a lustrous, blue sky with only a few cirrus clouds. The stream appears to beat back the oncoming storm clouds, raging across a darkened forest. "The painting is remarkable and so is this room."

"If you love this room, you will love the rest of the hospital. Each patient has a private room and socializes either here or in our recreation center. We try to provide more of a home environment. At times, we assign interns to accompany patients if they are having a bad day or want to hike."

"Are there any patients who are not allowed to socialize?"

"Not in the buildings you will be working in. We have a restricted house, but that is a half mile down the road and secluded with a separate staff."

"Eva, is William still here?"

"You remember him?" She sounds surprised.

"How could I forget? He was so young when his life was turned upside down in an instant."

Her powder blue eyes appear to gray and her voice drops. "Yes, William has been here since you transcribed for me. This is his masterpiece. Come; let me show you your office. You can familiarize yourself with the files. We have twenty patients here presently. I have to speak with Andrew regarding Amber's family."

At the top of the stairwell, there is a large semi-circular nurses' station with two women and a man behind computer screens whom Eva introduces as Jackson, Gina and Tanya. Expecting to see the beautiful, porcelain faces which I try to convince myself is a product of working here with the stress of long hours I notice only the man has pale features. Shaking their hands only his is cool.

"This is our office. She points to the end desk. That one is yours. There's coffee across the hall. I put a mug in your draw. I have to go, but Catherine transferred all the patient files to your computer. If you need anything, Jackson is very helpful."

Pouring a large mug of coffee hoping it will awaken my tired senses, I turn, bumping into someone who is too close. Reaching for the toppling mug, I notice male shoes.

"Jackson, I'm so sorry!" Looking up, my mouth dries as my eyes meet Andrew's. Anger overshadows his perfect features and his raging eyes turn from gray to pitch black.

"How did you...."I cower from his angry voice. Gabriel appears out of nowhere. Gripping his shoulder, he whirls him around to meet his equally fierce face. Staring at him, Gabriel's blue eyes change to thunderstorm gray. Their tension is palpable. Their heads touch briefly and Andrew storms out.

"Mia, are you alright?" Gabriel mutters, removing the mug from my shaking hands.

I pause to calm my voice. "I'm fine; I didn't mean to spill coffee on him. He was just so close and..."

"You didn't do anything wrong." Then his eyes shift, telling me he is hedging. "I'm sure it is just stress."

"What's going on? Maybe I can help."

"Mia, I need to speak with him and should let you go back to work." His austere expression tells me the conversation is over. He is out of sight, before I even cross the hallway.

Trying to concentrate on work, I open Teri's file. She lost her brother and parents in an arson fire. The police surmised she escaped by climbing out a window and down a drainpipe. Despite intense therapy, Teri contended her family was attacked by dark, shadowy creatures that emerged from a hall closet flew at her mother and brother, killing them instantly and then slowly ripped her father apart. She described the attackers as inhumanly strong with pale complexions, sharp teeth and eyes which changed to pitch black. Teri claimed when the fire started, a beautiful, winged lady whisked her away. After years of enduring Teri's screams for the creatures to leave her alone and almost being killed by a kitchen knife Terri wielded to keep them away, her grandmother allowed Gabriel, the attending physician, to institutionalize her here.

The next file is a fifty year old man, John, who suffers from hallucinations since his car accident. The police report revealed that John was found slumped over the wheel and his wife was ejected and decapitated when she hit a tree. John claimed an animal intentionally hit his car to make him slide down an embankment and that the animal turned into a man, grabbed his wife, attacked her and threw her against the tree. John was admitted here after attacking a man on the street for failing to save his wife. I am surprised to see it Catherine's name as attending physician.

The next case involves eighteen year old Marcus who lost his twin brother when their boat capsized. Marcus and Lucas were trapped underneath. His parents found him. While holding the side of the boat, he was screaming that a woman was attacking Lucas. Lucas' body was recovered five days later. Marcus became withdrawn and was sent to a psychiatrist to deal with his brother's death and contention that a guardian angel passed him to his parents. Marcus's mother admitted him here after his father died in a car accident and Marcus became more withdrawn. At night, she would hear him screaming that he could feel his brother's pain and saw him fighting with the air asking to be brought to Lucas.

The next file is of eight year old Stephanie. At the age of five, a ranger's report revealed that Stephanie's family was attacked by bears while camping. Stephanie claimed that a large wolf grabbed her mother before turning into a man and dragging her into the trees. Running into her father's tent, she saw a woman biting his neck and the bodies of her brothers. The report noted that despite the lack of blood at the scene, they were unable to find any of the bloodied bears. A ranger noted that Stephanie claimed the woman who attacked her father was going to grab her when a woman with crystal eyes and surrounded by a bright light rescued her and took her to where her younger David was wrapped in the wings of a fair haired man. Stephanie's erratic behavior and her claims that the wolves were still after them led to her commitment. Flipping to her commitment paper's I am surprised to see Andrew's name.

Reading through the remaining files, common threads become apparent. Each patient believes they were saved from an extraordinary evil being by something purely good and each was transferred here by someone who is now on staff.

Images of my own accident flash before my eyes. Eva's pokes her head in the doorway. "Are you ready to meet your patients?" Rising, I grab the computer. "Leave that. Patients here react better to casual conversation and gentle influence, especially after undergoing years of traditional analysis which failed."

Stepping into Marcus' room, I am stunned to see that it looks like a typical teenager's room, complete with gaming console and television entertainment center.

"Marcus, this is Mia, she will be assisting me."

"Hi Marcus, it is nice to meet you." Extending my hand, his vigorous response surprises me.

"Any friend of Eva will become a friend of mine. Are they protecting you too?"

Eva stiffens beside me. "Marcus, I'm sorry to cut this introduction short, but I have to show Mia around before helping Andrew."

As we walk down the hallway, "What did he mean by they are protecting me?"

For the first time, Eva's eyes refuse to meet mine. "I'm sure you read his file and know that he believes an angel saved him. He also believes angels are watching over the staff members." Despite her dismissive tone, there appears to be something more.

Stepping into John's room, he is watching the stock report. "Good morning, how are your stocks doing today?"

"It's time to sell. What would you say to using the profits and starting a stable for Stephanie?"

Eva shakes her head. "Ray will be back soon with the horses for a few days."

John turns to me. "You must be Mia. Are you as good a doctor as Eva?" Laughing, he holds out his hand.

"I hope to be one day."

Winking, "She's a real angel."

"John, Mia will take you to Catherine in an hour."

Walking out, Eva appears relaxed.

"John is quite a character, but should he be trading stock?"

"In fiscal matters, John is more astute than I am. He is a multimillionaire and even convinced a court that he was cognizant enough to transfer his wealth to his sons. He transferred all but five hundred fifty thousand. Fifty thousand he used to start trading stock again. It helped in his recovery. We ensure he only trades on days he is not depressed. Five hundred thousand he requested his sons donate to the hospital. We are sufficiently endowed, so we keep it in an account for John. He's never needed it though and has built his portfolio to seven hundred thousand. More importantly, his sons trusting him to do this through his old company, helps him remarkably."

"That's amazing, but if he's doing well, could he leave?"

"John left, but called and wanted to return because he felt as if something was coming after him."

Stopping at the entrance, Eva puts her coat on. I do the same and follow her to the recreation building. Most of the walls were taken out to accommodate a pool, workout area, gaming and music room. At the pool, Eva introduces me to Teri before she's paged. "Amber's family must be here." She mutters concerned.

"Can I do anything?"

"Go back to the psychiatric unit, you can visit with William and then take John later."

Walking back, I marvel at how the atmosphere is unlike anywhere else, the staff and patients are more like friends. Looking around, my thoughts wander. How could they cure me without a stitch of evidence remaining from my accident? Why are they hiding their involvement? My mind shifts to Marcus' comment and how uncomfortable Eva became. As my eyes catch sight of the brilliant colors of a painting, all errant thoughts leave me and I find myself walking toward it and William. Gazing upon the dimly lit cabin surrounded by woods and uneven terrain, a memory sparks with me as a vision of my limp body being carried over rough ground flashes before me.

William turns. Recognizing me instantly, he heads over. "Did they try to get you too? Mia, don't worry you're safe here."

"Did who try to get me?"

"The dark ones who come to take you away, they took my whole family away and turned them into dark shadows!"

Hearing his anxiety, I try to reassure him. "No, no one came for me."

"Then why are you here?"

"Eva hired me to help you and the others."

He smiles widely. "That's good. You have a good light around you."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have a shade of darkness. You're a good person." He states confidently.

Hoping that he can shed some light on my errant thoughts since leaving Marcus, I try to engage in light conversation. "William, what did you mean when you said I would be safe here?"

His features turn intense as he stares into my eyes as if gauging whether or not to impart his beliefs upon me. Trying to reassure him that he could trust me, I speak softly. "Whatever you say to me won't go any further. I came here to help."

My reassuring demeanor wins him over. "This place is run mostly by people who have light auras around them. Those who are not as bright and have shadows trying to encroach upon them don't come near us."

The intern sitting next to William's painting shifts as if straining to hear. Knowing how uncomfortable Eva became when Marcus mentioned something similar, I decide not to pursue this further. "Your painting is wonderful."

"I paint to occupy my mind and express what I see. Despite some of my images, no one looks at me like I'm impaired."

"I'm sure no one here thinks of you that way."

"That's why I like it. Even the others know what I'm talking about and are not frightened. It is very nice here, even the food is great. Have you tried it?"

"I had some of Gabriel's chowder last night, it was heavenly."

He bursts out laughing and then stops abruptly as someone crosses the courtyard. The wind begins to blow hard as clouds overshadow the courtyard.

"William, do you know who that is?"

"It's Catherine's brother, Francis. I should get these inside." He replies anxiously, picking up his easel.

"Can I bring something inside for you?"

"No thank you, Dmitri always helps me."

They scurry inside. As soon as they do, the sun pokes out. Looking down at my phone, I still have twenty minutes before escorting John to Catherine. Sitting down, I close my eyes, lifting my face to the sun.

# Chapter Six – Time With Andrew

"May I join you?" Andrew inquires without a hint of his earlier outrage.

Opening my eyes, his closeness surprises me. His breathtaking, porcelain face just inches from mine, no longer holds the strain of last night, nor do his eyes encase the storm clouds they had earlier. Instead they are tantamount to a crystal clear turquoise sky. Weren't his eyes gray? Staring at his resplendent profile, I can't slow my racing pulse.

"Do you mind if I sit?" His eyes search mine.

"No" my voice sounds breathless.

"How is your first day?" He stares as if he's truly interested.

His gaze sends tingles down my spine. I force my eyes down to the pavement in hopes of calming my raging heart. "This place feels more like a country club than a hospital. Even the treatment method is informal."

"Since our patients are past proven treatments, the founders decided to approach this more as a sanctuary for the sick as opposed to treating them like test rats. We also ensure our terminal patients do not die alone." He pauses. "I saw you talking to William, he is quite an artist."

"Yes he is."

"Did you see the lighthouse he painted? That's my sister's favorite."

"Eva is your sister?" My voice cuts through the serenity.

"She didn't tell you?"

"No, she never mentioned she had a brother!"

"This facility engages our entire family."

As my mouth falls open, I see a slight smile lift the corners of his perfectly formed lips.

"How many are in your family?"

His jaw tightens. "There are eleven of us."

That at least explains their similar complexions, but why they aren't all models living it up in New York instead of living here in seclusion escapes me. "Are you all doctors?"

"Only five of my siblings are in patient care while the others are in administration and research." Sadness resonates in his reply.

"You're all siblings?"

"No, two are my brothers-in-law and sister-in-law."

Remembering how the records showed them coming at different times, I become curious. "How did you all come to be here?"

His sky, blue eyes bore into mine, reflecting the heavens, mesmerizing me. "This has been a family owned facility for almost one hundred fifty years."

"Your family owns this facility, Eva never mentioned that!" Remembering how my parents' careers dictated my occupation, I wonder if Eva and Andrew were compelled to follow a path leading to this place. As Eva's encouraging words to follow my dreams ring through my ears, my heart grows heavy as I question if she knew her own fate was sealed.

Andrew's soft utterance interrupts my brooding. "What are you thinking?"

Sadness rips through me. "I was wondering if the course leading here was thrust upon you."

Rising his perfect features somber saying it all. I've upset him, but his tender voice beckons as his eyes fill with some unknown emotion. "Come, take a walk with me."

My heart quickens, but I have to take John. "I'd love to, but I'm escorting John to Catherine in a few minutes. Besides, Eva said you were meeting Amber's family."

"Eva's right, your memory is very good. They've been delayed, their car broke down. Why don't we get John and then I can show you around."

"I think I'm supposed to stay with him."

He grins. "Catherine stays with him in that small room."

Entering, Jackson catches sight of Andrew. "How are you doing? Eva told me about Amber."

Andrew's voice fills with sadness. "I wish we could have saved her! I just can't understand His plan sometimes. Doesn't it ever bother you to have so much power and not be able to use it to do what's right?"

Jackson's hand moves to Andrew's shoulder and he relaxes as unspoken words appear to pass between them.

"We have to get John, I'll see you later."

Walking down the hall, Andrew is so close beside me that I can almost feel his hand brush against mine. Looking up, he is glancing at me sideways. Forcing my eyes back down, I catch his hand flex before he thrusts it in his side pocket. My pulse races...Stop! He's an accomplished physician from a wealthy family. He could never be interested in you. As my internal debate rages, the image of Andrew's anguished face as I lay cold, whispering something which now lingers at the edges of my conscious memory trying to break through causes me to wonder if there ever could more.

John's vivacious voice interrupts my distraction. I'm vaguely aware that they are talking about Amber and John is mentioning how Andrew always talks about their finding serenity reuniting with loved ones in the peaceful gardens.

My distraction dissipates as Andrew's teeth snap. He forces a smile, but his eyes hold the sadness of a hundred lifetimes. "Thank you John."

We leave John with Catherine who informs me that Eva requested I wait for her before seeing other patients.

"Let's take that walk. It will help me clear my head before Amber's family arrives."

Stepping outside, I glance toward the sun and then to him. His eyes are as blue as the heavens, glistening like multifaceted crystals, no longer holding a hint of gray. He is mesmerizing. His exquisite profile belongs on a sculpture, adorning a great hall, not walking next to me.

"Did Eva show you around?" Catching my gaze, he adorns sun glasses.

"I met Teri over at the recreation building, she is quite a swimmer."

"She loves the freedom it gives her."

"Has she ever waivered from claiming an angel saved her?" When he doesn't respond, I look up. He appears distracted. "What are you thinking?"

"I was wondering what it feels like to be truly free...Oh" His distraction vaporizes. "Mia, I'm sorry. Let me show you the terminal unit." Moving up the path, he holds the door.

We step into a grand foyer, complete with stone fireplace.

A faint rainbow from a stained glass window settles upon an oversized painting. A sigh escapes from my lips as my eyes gaze upon a golden haired angel with the daintiest, picturesque, pale face looking up toward wispy clouds. Her wings stretch the length of the picture. She nestles a young, sandy haired child in her arms; a soft, golden light only slightly duller than the light painted above the clouds, encircles them. Scanning the picture, I notice the angel stepping on an odd shaped thunder cloud. Moving closer, I realize it isn't a cloud. She's crushing a shadowy, inverted, petite, mirrored version of herself, engulfed in a dark shadow with just a hint of redness around the rim, reminding me of extinguishing embers.

Andrew's gentle voice interrupts my preoccupation. "I see you've noticed the angel who watches over this house."

I'm awestruck. "I know the artist, don't I?"

"His delineations are quite unique." He sounds like a proud parent. "He loves to paint in the open air, that's his freedom." His voice fills with longing reminding me of our earlier conversation. I wonder if he and his siblings knew, growing up that their future would be robbed! Melancholy washes over me like a tidal wave as I contemplate how the charitable nature of one generation in creating a sanctuary for others, doomed future generations, plucking the choice from them before they were even a twinkle in their parents' eyes. Tears prick my eyes. I turn hoping he won't see.

He moves closer to me. "It's a powerful painting meant to invoke a potent response."

Looking up, his picturesque face is aglow with the soft flickering colors from the stained glass window making him appear as beautiful as the angel. A vision of Andrew gently caressing my cheek, staring down at me with such love and affection as we stand amongst the mist flashes before my eyes, unfurling a deep desire I never felt before. Feeling the heat creep into my cheeks, I tear my eyes from his. My voice is breathy. "It must be very difficult for William to find his freedom during the long winters here."

"Come with me, I want to show you something." Ascending two flights of stairs, we cross the attic, stopping before a dark paneled door. Stepping inside a moderate, glass enclosed room; we are surrounded by sketches, paintings and easels, but I'm drawn to the treetops outside whose red, orange and golden leaves meld. I'm staring at a flameless forest fire in the middle of a raging thunderstorm. Overhead, dark electric clouds crackle. A bolt of lightning bursts before us. I jump, but Andrew is unaffected. "Beautiful isn't it? Nothing can compare to the spectacle of watching electrical charges unfolding from the deepest, heaviest clouds just before the first rays of sun break through the waning clouds shining on God's country." His voice is wondrous. I can't help but stare at his breathtaking face, now serene, peaceful like a sleeping child. A sigh escapes my lips as unparalleled desire unfurls deep within me, sending scorching blood coursing through my veins. I ache to reach out and intertwine our fingers and have him wrap his strong arms around me as I lean into his broad chest. I close my eyes hoping to dispel this feeling. He's my boss. I came here to straighten out my life and despite their pretending not to know of my accident, this beautiful place is fast feeling like home. I can't do anything that will cause me to leave.

Mistakenly, taking my reaction for fear, he pulls over a bench, sits and taps the seat. "You're perfectly safe here." His voice is soft, reassuring, but as I sit beside him, I catch a glimpse of what, desire? I shake my head, I must be mistaken. "So what brought you here to Sanctuary?" His features shift, resonating concern and understanding well beyond his years. Internally I wince worrying what Eva told him about me. Staring into his soulful eyes, my yearning to share with him how experiencing the last moments of a patient driven to the brink helped me break from the course others relentlessly hoisted upon me, surprises me. I cannot speak as years of conflicting emotions war within me, my obstinate nature fighting against my family's attempts to guide 'their unfocused child'. Self-doubt engulfs me as I question whether my choices are only a melodramatic overreaction of someone who never grew up. If I tell him what brought me here, will he deem me ridiculous? After all, my parents were driven by the best of intentions. Thinking about it this way, I seem self-pitying, even to myself. Maybe he will think I am in as much need of help as the patients here who refuse to let go of beliefs holding them back.

His gentle voice interrupts my internal self-loathing. "Mia, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that Eva is not the only one you can talk to. She and I are very close. When she returned from Boston, she spoke very highly of you and has even shared some of your emails with me." He stops; his eyes intently searching mine as if he's debating whether to continue. His expression turns distant. His voice drops to a low murmur and I speculate he is thinking of his own failed plight. "If you've spoken to someone whose perceptions are clouded by conflicted loyalties, they may inadvertently have made you feel worthless and even more isolated for taking a different path. I know from experience that the best person to talk to is one with no preconceived notions, someone who can assure you that trusting your instincts and your heart is your best guide."

A flash of lightening illuminates the room. In that instant, a glow encircles Andrew, similar to that of the angel and the one surrounding him as he perched over me after my accident. My subconscious shouts louder than ever before. "Stop being ridiculous, don't let your imagination get carried away!"

Andrew stands up, crosses the room and leans against the glass wall. He's engulfed in some deep, far away thought.

I rise. Crossing the room, I stumble, bringing an easel down upon me. Embarrassed, I try to right myself. Andrew moves quickly to help me, his nose flares, and his features turn grave. "You're hurt." He states alarmed.

I try to stand. "I'm fine, just clumsy."

Pulling a bench toward me, "Mia sit down!"

Heat colors my cheeks as I see the blade of a palette knife lodged deep in my leg, a pool of blood forming on my pants.

"Mia, put pressure right above the area and I'll get a first aid kit. Will you be alright?" He's anxious.

Wanting to hide after making such a spectacle of myself, I try to joke. "I didn't even know I stabbed myself until you became anxious. Besides, I am a doctor."

He returns faster than humanly possible. My cheeks turn crimson as he cuts my pant leg. His gloved hands feel unnaturally cold, but he relaxes. "You'll need stitches, but it didn't hit an artery. I can do it here or carry you downstairs."

The thought of his carrying me and the staff seeing this horrifies me. "I've been enough trouble, if you could just do it here."

He disappears for another all too short moment. Before I know it, he's done. Stunned by his swiftness, I take in a jagged breath.

"Am I hurting you?" Concern fills his voice.

"You're very gentle. Your swiftness just surprised me." Watching him gather the instruments, I feel supple fingers gently gliding up my calf, caressing my leg. My heart warms and I flush. No one is touching me.

Looking up, he is shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of some unwelcomed thought. "I should help you back to your room. Would you like me to carry you?"

"Certainly not, I want to follow up with John and William." Hobbling toward the stairs I hear him stifle a giggle. Looking down, I notice surgical tape stuck to my buttocks and can't help but laugh.

"Although I admire your dedication, you may want to change...No go like that; you will give them a giggle." His radiant smile stops my heart.

I feign offense and hobble down the stairs.

Instantly, he is beside me, trepidation registers in his voice. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you."

Turning, I meet his worried gaze, "I'm sorry. I was just trying to relieve my embarrassment."

He relaxes. "I'm sorry I laughed, I could see John laughing when he saw you. Let me help you to your room, it's still raining out."

Before I can respond, Eva is heading our way. "Andrew, Amber's family just pulled through the gates." She turns to me. "What happened?"

"Nothing, just me being clumsy; I'm on my way to check on John and William."

I didn't realize Andrew left until I see him walking back with Jackson; drying his glistening hair. "Jackson will help you back. The courtyard is slippery." He turns to Eva. "Gabriel suggested we talk in their suite." An unspoken understanding passes between them before they scurry out.

Jackson and I walk slowly. "Would you like to lean on me?"

"Thank you, but I can manage." Jackson tries to keep us covered, but the wind gusts ensure we get drenched.

"Call room two when you're ready and I'll walk back with you."

"You don't have to wait, I'll be fine."

His expression turns serious. "Andrew instructed me not to let you walk outside alone."

Stepping through the door, I realize two is Eva's room. I call out. "Jackson, what number did you say?"

"Call room two."

Dressing quickly, I dial two. Eva's machine picks up. I hang up and dial again. "Mia, I'll be right there."

Opening the door Jackson is holding a black shalalie. He's grinning; his exquisite pale features and sky eyes have me wondering if he is another sibling. "I thought you could use this." Handing it to me, he's amused.

"Thank you." I appreciate being able to put my weight on it as we walk back. "Jackson, may I ask you something personal?"

He turns. "Sure, I'm a pretty open book, shoot."

"Are you Eva and Andrew's brother?"

He laughs. "No, I'm Eva's husband. We were married a few months ago."

My mouth falls open. "I didn't know. Congratulations."

Inside, "Thank you. If you need anything, just ask."

I nod and head for John's room.

At midnight, I'm updating files when I hear a soft knock. Assuming its Eva, I call out. "Coming"

Opening the door, Andrew's tormented features meet mine, his eyes wrought with anguish look thunderstorm gray as opposed to this afternoon's blue. "I hope I didn't wake you, but I wanted to see how you are feeling."

I ache to console this desolate creature. "I'm fine. I thought you were Eva. Please come in, tell me what happened with Amber's family."

He hesitates. "It's late. Eva is staying with Alex and will see you tomorrow."

Stress radiates off him. Desperate to lessen his agony, "Come in please. You helped me this afternoon. Let me help you now."

His eyes soften as he steps in.

"I was just about to make some tea, would you like earl grey or green?"

"Anything is fine."

Andrew is sitting on the couch in deep thought. Placing the cups before him, interrupts his abstraction, his anguished stare says it all.

I fight my overwhelming desire to enfold him in my arms. "How bad was it?"

"Worse than I imagined! Max's eyes are vacant. When Alex moved, I saw scars on her wrists." His head falls into his hands. "We're going to lose her too!"

# Chapter Seven – A Late Night

Compelled by his grief, I reach out, he moves out of my reach. Shifting my hands, I pick up my cup and take a sip. "I know what it's like to feel helpless, to see someone whom you are afraid that you can't save no matter what you do."

He lifts his angelic face, devastation darkens his perfect features. His desolation overwhelms me. I cup my hands around his free hand, not giving him the opportunity to take it away. It is ice cold. Panic fills his eyes. I can't understand how his hand is so cold after being inside. He tenses under my touch, trying to edge out from under my grip. I cup it tighter. As cold as it feels, holding his hand sends warm sensations down my spine; my heart thrums loudly in my ears. I fight my rising desire. I want to help him, allow him to connect to me, talk to me. "I know you're afraid when Alex leaves she will be successful in her next suicide attempt and worry that she is neglecting Max, even when she's with him. I can see that you are taking it on yourself as to what happens to them because you were treating Amber, but you have to realize that you did all you could for her and Eva will help Alex see that Max needs her, especially now."

His eyes soften. "You are very perceptive. You sound like a psychiatrist." He chuckles softly at his own attempted humor.

I roll my eyes, trying to lighten his mood. "Very funny, you missed your calling; maybe you should have tried comedy. It works, his features brighten and I can feel his hand relax. "Seriously, would you like me to go and help Eva with Alex and Max so that you can catch some sleep? You look like you haven't slept in days."

He chuckles as if I am missing a joke. "Eva is with Alex and Gabriel is camping in William's studio with Max and his dad."

Looking into sorrowful his eyes, I could only imagine the toll it must take on him to know every day that he is fighting a losing battle and having to hide his own despair in order to alleviate his patients' fears and the pain suffered by surviving family members. I'm in awe. His strength of character makes the person he is on the inside even more extraordinary than the unflawed person on the outside. "How do you deal with the loss and grief stricken families every day?"

He withdraws his hand, bringing his long steeple fingers just under his chin, his voice turns soulful. "I hold on to the comfort we bring those who would otherwise be alone. At least here, the patients are still living instead of just existing so that despair doesn't darken their final days to endanger their passage to the next plane. Doing this brings some small purpose to even my existence." He shocks me by the way he spits out "existence." He sounds like me, doubtful and full of self-loathing.

I feel the long day. My eyes flutter and despite being intrigued by his profound words, my mind drifts. Our earlier unpleasant encounter flashes before me. It's strange, but on some level, I realize I'm dreaming. Once again, I am standing before an angry Andrew, but this time I notice something is not right; his hair is blonde and his eyes are as dark as a moonless night. The image is all wrong, but then, he is gone and I am alone in my thoughts. Neither his physical changes nor his diametrically opposed attitudes make any sense. I awake in my bed with a cool compress on my head. My leg throbs. As I look toward the clock, it's 4:15 a.m. Hearing a noise, I rise. Reaching the archway, Andrew turns. His eyes sparkle and are a paler blue than his shirt. Maybe I am going crazy. His eyes meet my appraising eyes. I want to look away, but his hypnotic stare bewitches my very soul. I cannot tear my eyes from his. I feel drawn to him. A soft caress glides up my arm awakening my senses, but his hands are by his side.

His eyes widen and he shakes his head making me wonder if he feels it too. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, sorry I fell asleep on you."

"Don't be, I shouldn't have kept you up with my bombastic declamation."

"I enjoyed our talk. You're a fascinating physician with insight unlike anyone I have ever met." Not wanting my mind to wander further down a path it should not go, I keep talking. "How did I get in my room?"

He fidgets. "I carried you. I hope you don't mind, but you looked so uncomfortable." His eyes shift to the floor. "I tried to wake you, your forehead felt too warm so I gave you two aspirins and put you to bed. I just came back to check on you. I'm sorry I woke you."

Mortified that he cared for me yet again, I mumble. "You should have just left me on the couch; I already caused you enough trouble in the loft."

"You are no trouble at all."

I gasp as I realize, "You lost another night's sleep because of me."

"I don't need a lot of sleep, I just rejuvenated." He mutters more to himself.

Not truly understanding what he means, I'm concerned for his wellbeing. "You should get some rest. I can check with your staff before going to take Eva's rounds."

A small sigh escapes his perfectly sculpted lips. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm fine and you should try not to aggravate the leg. Sit and I'll get your breakfast."

Feeling guilty enough I shake my head. "I'll just take a shower. You don't have to get my breakfast. I know you're probably doing it because you feel bad about your reaction to my spilling coffee on you yesterday but don't even think about it, I know how stressed you were. I'd rather see you go and rest."

His features turn grave. His tone becomes alarmed. "What incident?" He stares at me uncomprehendingly.

I become concerned that his sleep deprivation is causing him to repress irrational behavior. "Andrew, I'm talking about you getting upset in the psychiatric kitchenette when I spilled coffee on you."

His body turns rigid as his eyes search mine.

"Andrew, you should rest. Let someone else deal with our patients today."

His eyes darken. "Excuse me, I have to go!" He flies past me at inhuman speed.

I cannot reconcile the calm profound person of last evening with this anxious person. Fearing further irrational behavior, I dress and rush to find Gabriel.

Heading toward the loft, I wonder whether we would have spoken more if I hadn't mentioned yesterday. Last night, despite his despair, it felt so natural and wonderful to talk with him. I shake my head, knowing where my thoughts are heading. Chastising myself, I have no right being attracted to someone who does not belong on this worldly plane. His profound understanding of human needs and exquisite beauty are beyond any human's hemisphere and definitely out of my reach. He could never be interested in someone who has thrown away so many opportunities, as my parents love to remind me, someone who tanked the lessons of her entire upbringing and is downright ungrateful, as my sister loves to point out. How could he ever be interested in someone like me? My internal voice screams. "Focus!" I hurry upstairs, but Gabriel is nowhere to be found.

Turning to leave, I hear faint voices. Moving toward them, I hear Andrew's tension filled tone. "Why didn't you tell me what happened between her and Nicholas? Don't you think I should know when he's aggravated? You know how dangerous it can be? I could feel the change in me, the unbridled rage! I thought he had taken another good soul. I never dreamt it was because he discovered her. Who was with her when it happened? Please tell me there was someone there to protect her if he broke our truce" He pleads.

Gabriel responds authoritatively. "She was never in danger. I was with her and got no indication he would break the truce. He removed himself. You knew this would happen once he found out they were unsuccessful."

Andrew sounds desperate. "I need to find him. He's immersed in an undercurrent of rage and conflict. He is never more dangerous than when he is undecided! Tell me where he is, please."

"He's hunting and you need to step back. You're emotionally involved. We are walking a very fine line and could be said to have interfered when you saved her!"

The growling response that comes next startles me. "She was entering the grounds!"

Gabriel's voice does not waiver. "Let him alone! Don't even try to offset him now. Not that I'm condoning offsetting the balance, but you need to let us take care of it and let him calm down. You know Nicholas has always been the most unstable with this armistice and believes if we can give him what he wants more, he will free us all."

"He's wrong! Even if we were to give him something he wants, we'll still become his soldiers! You know that he believes we belong to him because he created her by his direct interventions and we are her children. You know what he wants most is us serving beside him! He believes that our half-breed status will help him become powerful on this plane."

"Andrew, you need to trust me and regain your perspective. You led us this far and the others are coming around, but if you go head to head with Nicholas now, we will lose them and could start fighting again! You spend time with her, but don't do anything rash. Do you understand?" His warning is quite clear.

Sensing the argument is over, I rush toward the stairs, make it halfway down before hearing someone approach. I turn to make it appear that I am heading upstairs.

It's Gabriel, his face impassive. "Good morning, how are you?" His eyes turn alarmed as he ensnares my arm. "Come with me." His touch is cold as he practically lifts me by my elbow. Faster than humanly possible, we are down the second flight of stairs, past the foyer and out behind the manor hidden by trees. "You heard us arguing. How much did you hear?"

I stutter. "It had to do with me!" I mistakenly shout. I don't want to anger a superior and despite the secrecy surrounding this place and these extraordinary, beautiful people, this is the first place I ever felt as if I belonged. It's like coming home after a long journey, but to no home that I ever envisioned. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I came to find you because Andrew was upset and I wanted to help. I could see the stress overwhelming him. I'm sorry I overheard you, but since it involves me, don't you think that I should know what is going on? I know Andrew and your sisters saved me after my accident, yet no one wants me to know that!"

Gabriel's eyes turn unfathomable. He's motionless.

My anxious stomach churns. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to cause you trouble. I know I was in bad shape, I even thought I died!" Regretting saying too much immediately... "I was going to keep quiet like you asked." I could feel my rising hysteria.

Gabriel's unexpected embrace feels like a winter storm encircling me, surprising me, but I do not pull away. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I know you have seen and heard unexplainable things, but I am not at liberty to enlighten you." His tone is urgent and contrite. "I know I'm not in a position to ask you to trust me, but that is exactly what I need you to do. It is essential you don't pursue this now!"

Despite confirming my suspicions, as my eyes meet his pleading eyes, I find I do trust him and wish he could trust me enough to explain what is going on. As I consider his words, maybe I need to get the answers from someone else. "Who can tell me then?"

Gabriel lifts me by my elbow and rushes us further into the trees.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm sorry. I don't want Andrew to find you yet."

He's looking for me. My heart accelerates. This is not good. The quickest way to complicate this haven is to get involved with a superior. "Please tell me who can give me the answers." I plead.

"Only Andrew can tell you, but his perceptions are clouded. He needs time to weigh the consequences. Please you cannot push him now." Panic fills his voice. "If you push him for answers now, I sense disaster! Please forget about what you heard. Do your job and don't pursue this. I can't even begin to explain the magnitude of what is riding upon your actions." I can hear his desperation.

Gabriel's eyes plead with mine as Andrew approaches. "What are you doing here?" He scrutinizes our faces.

I need answers, but Gabriel's sincere pleas, the years of Eva encouraging me, despite my follies, and Andrew's profound words last evening assure me that they are not bad. They are hiding helping me. I don't know them well, but I find myself wanting to protect them, as they protected me when I was vulnerable. My eyes shift down as I mutter. "I wanted to talk to Gabriel. I'm worried that all the stress you endured lately is wearing on you."

"You had to come out here to do that?" He eyes us suspiciously.

Stuttering, "I didn't want to make waves. I..."

Gabriel interrupts. "She's concerned for you, but you're her employer." He states as if that says it all. He looks at Andrew squarely. "You remember what it's like to be new somewhere. You have been under considerable stress the last few days, take today off at least and then I'll back off."

"Fine, I'll take Max hiking and you see my patients." He responds begrudgingly as we head back.

Gabriel turns to me. "Are you alright taking Eva's patients?"

"I can handle them. In fact, I'll start with Teri, she's probably swimming."

Reaching Sanctuary, Andrew's mood lightens. "Since I've been rendered unnecessary, I'll go hiking." He winks at me before leaving.

I can't help but smile. "Thank you" Gabriel says relieved.

As twilight falls, I head toward William's studio. I stand awestruck as my eyes stare at the palest, most beautiful faces ever to grace a canvas, right down to the heavenly glint in their sparkling, blue eyes. I recognize, Andrew, Eva, Gabriel, Catherine and Jackson immediately. The individuals behind them are also beautiful, but their eyes are darker; in them I find one of my answers. Behind Andrew stands a blonde man with identical facial features, but maniacal, thunderstorm gray eyes.

William turns. "Do you like it? I'm hoping to give it to Eva at Christmas as a thank you."

"William your ability to bring realism to your subjects is unparalleled." I compliment breathlessly.

He smiles. "Do you think Eva will enjoy it as much as you do?"

"She raves about your paintings. Who is in the back row?"

"That's Francis, Damian who's Serena's husband, Nicholas, Jonathan and his wife, Lucy." He points at each.

Hearing approaching footsteps, William hurriedly covers the painting. It's the man William just identified as Damian.

"Hello, I'm Mia. I just joined Eva's staff." I put out my hand, but he does not shake it and I let it fall.

"I didn't know anyone was still here, I was asked to prepare the space for two camping guests." He responds coldly.

"I was just waiting for Jackson" William states anxiously.

"He's downstairs."

"I'll just put my paintings away and meet him."

Helping William, his anxiety is apparent. "William, are you alright?"

Jackson is on the stairs. "Damian and that bunch are..." He stutters. "They are very unpleasant, be careful of them doc ok!"

"Would you like me to walk you back so we can talk?"

"No, that's o.k."

Outside, the weather is pleasant. Sitting on the bench, I gaze at the shimmering stars. A loud howling rips through the tranquil silence. I shiver.

"Don't worry. It is actually far off." Andrew states softly. "May I join you?"

His eyes sparkle. The moon's reflection makes his angelic features even more brilliant. "Please, I'm just enjoying the night air."

He sits so close, my pulse races as the back of his hand inadvertently brushes mine.

"You may enjoy our air, but our nature gives you quite a fright." He chuckles. "Didn't you see any animals in Minnesota?"

He relaxes, leaning back on the bench, awaiting my answer. I can't peel my eyes from his perfection, chiseled features, broad shoulders... My thoughts interrupted as he catches my apprising eyes.

"Did you see a cat while there that caught your tongue?" His tone is amused, but his features hold something unreadable. "We could just sit here, but I would love to hear how you came to our establishment. No one comes without an interesting story." His eyes rage with curiosity.

Ashamed of how I really came here, I drop my eyes. "Eva hired me."

His gaze doesn't waiver. "No one comes this far because they want to, this is more of a place to realign your life and escape others' control." His tone sounds sincere.

"You are insightful." I retort.

"I have been told that." His smile melts my heart. My mind wanders to places it should not go.

"My story is not interesting." I can hear the self-loathing in my voice. Looking into his eyes, I cannot stop the words from flowing. "The self-pitying rich girl whose thrown away every opportunity because of my rebellious pride and unwillingness to follow the proper path. I set a course for destruction and after finally imploding; I was given a second chance by an angel to seek redemption. So here I am."

Horrified by my own words, I wish the ground would swallow me up. He seems amused by my rant. "So my sister is that angel. She will be quite happy to know someone thinks of her that way."

"Please don't say anything. She'll think I'm stealing a line from her patients. Do you know they all believe in dark forces and angels?" I stop myself. "Of course you know. I'm sorry, sometimes, I go off on tangents."

"Mia, Eva thinks very highly of you and I know from what she has shared with me that you are not some spoiled child who thoughtlessly threw away opportunities!" His hand moves toward my cheek and then drops with a thud onto the back of the bench; his eyes blaze. "I know what it's like when someone forces a lifestyle that doesn't fit upon you. It pushes you down a tumultuous path that you feel the need to fight against and it is only natural that you are going to fall." His voice is somber. I know he is speaking from personal experience. "Even the most determined people who choose their path fall. So how could you expect any less of yourself when your course goes against your very nature? You are far too critical of yourself. I find that our compassion sometimes comes from life's hardest journeys and the desire to keep others from taking that road. From what I have observed, any bright individual can be taught to deal with tangible ailments, but only someone like you with a special gift to truly listen can treat the unseen afflictions of the complicated psyche." A forlorn expression flits across his face as his eyes meet mine.

His stare intensifies as if he's looking beyond my self-doubt to see the person I desire to become. Although his words inflame my hopes that one day I will become a worthy person who helps others instead of always disappointing them, they are not enough to beat back my guilt of disappointing my family and my failure to save those who needed me. Sorrow overwhelms my heart. My self-control wanes as tears prick my eyes. Rising quickly to leave, his hand grasps mine. His smooth, cold touch electrifies my heart. In that moment of distraction, all concentration is lost and a sob escapes my lips.

He rises. His cool index finger lifts my chin forcing my eyes to meet his. "Please sit. I find crying is a great relief mechanism." Fighting to regain my composure, I concentrate on the sensation of his thumb rubbing small circles into my palm.

His voice is impassioned, "Mia, tell me what brought you here, I know it would help you move past your insecurities. I see the potential in you, your pureness of heart, but I know other's perceptions impinged upon your growth. Please trust me enough to open up."

Concern resonates through his features, tearing down the walls I spent years building up just so I could function. Gently pulling me to his side as he sits, I become keenly aware of the coolness radiating from him, but am not cold. My inner voice assuring me that speaking to him would be a mistake loses out as I peer into his soulful eyes and feel my resolve disappear. My mouth again betrays me, allowing my thoughts to escape. "I ran here in hopes of finding something redeeming within myself to justify my choices. I want to help people and vindicate my taking a different path, but I'm just fooling myself. You don't know the type of person I am and when you get to know me, you'll see that I'm selfish." I try to rip my hand from his to cover my face, but he grasps it tight. I cringe as my words continue to flow. "I've disappointed everyone I love! They called in every favor after my follies and I couldn't rise to the occasion. I grew up thinking I spent my life in my siblings' shadows, but really they followed the right path and are saving lives now, while I willed myself into mediocrity and failure!" My inner voice pleads with me to stop before he comes to realize I should be a patient here, not a physician, but the floods gates refuse to close. "Then came the day of the train crash, I was assigned to help a doctor save a life. I believed she couldn't be saved and wanted her to know she wasn't alone. Maybe if I behaved more like a doctor, she would have gotten to see her parents again! I should have..."

He drops my hand. He now sees my true character, that of a selfish, self-destructive individual. I fear looking into his soulful eyes and once again seeing someone's incontestable disappointment staring back at me. Closing my eyes, I offer up a prayer hoping he will keep my confidence so that I could stay. Wrenching my eyes open, I compel myself to look at him, get it over with, but his eyes are closed. Compelling myself to leave, I shift forward, but freeze at seeing his now pained expression. His eyes fly open, staring into mine, searching for answers to unspoken questions. Ashamed, I instantly look down. Hesitantly this time, he grasps my chin, forcing my face to meet his. My heart is a sonic boom.

"For one so young, you carry around the guilt of a hundred lifetimes." His features reveal a depth of compassion well beyond his years. "No one should be made to feel that way. Please tell me that somewhere inside yourself you do not believe everything that you just expressed!" His anguished tone and mesmerizing eyes compel me to answer.

My voice cracks. "I don't know what I feel anymore. I want to believe that my upbringing is the cause for my inabilities, but my childhood was not awful. My parents are astounding physicians who fought to instill in me their expertise. My siblings embraced this opportunity while I fought against it and as a result..." My hands fly up to my face, "I'm lost!"

Hoisting myself from the bench, knowing how much damage my rant has caused, I compel myself forward. Catching me, his icy embrace sends my pulse racing wildly. His fervent voice rings out. "Mia, you are not lost, you're home! You have to realize how special you are." He pleads. "Your desire to connect with that girl is not what killed her; it assured her she would not die alone. As doctors we detach ourselves, but sometimes what patients really need is to know that they matter."

Releasing me, he grasps my hand, leading me to another bench. "You see firsthand how events can shape someone's life. Look at the patients here," his tone turns hypnotic.

I interrupt. "These patients suffered traumatic events, I shouldn't complain."

His head shakes infinitesimally. "It is not just traumatic events that shape our lives, sometimes, especially when we're young, recurring events impinge upon our character and distort our perceptions. I believe that is what happened to you. You spent your childhood fighting against choices that fit your personality, but which you perceived brought great disappointment. As you grew, your self-loathing isolated you but what you may not realize is that it also spawned you on to help others overcome their psychological inhibitions. You need to realize that your parents' blinders are what truly forestalls them from seeing how wonderful you really are." Unexpectedly, he leans down, his lips gently and swiftly kiss my forehead. Leaning back, his eyes are pained, but his features are unreadable. "You have a beautiful soul, don't ever forget that!" His eyes shift up toward the treetops, his voice turns formal. "I should let you get dinner and I have to see a patient." Hesitantly, he rises, but then strolls away.

Despite his kiss being that of a father comforting a hurt child, my heart skips a beat. I want this Greek god. Stop, after what you revealed he'll probably commit you to a course of intense therapy.

My heart sinks at the thought as I enter the residency. Eva is on the stairs.

"How is Alex?"

Her wearied expression says it all. "I'm concerned she'll do something rash when she leaves."

Placing my hand on her shoulder, I realize the same cold radiates from her as well. "What can I do to help?" She doesn't respond. "Don't worry about your other patients, Jackson and I have everything under control. Congratulations by the way, I didn't realize you got married."

"We married up here."

"He seems very nice."

He's a real angel." She stifles a giggle, her tone turning serious. "I'm sorry to start you like this."

"Don't worry about anything."

Showering before updating the records, I hear a knock. Pulling on my robe, figuring Eva needs to convey last minute instructions for tomorrow, I hurry to the door. Aware of my attire, I flush as I stand before Andrew.

His eyes flare. I feel electricity charging between us and for the briefest of moments I am overwhelmed with the feeling of strong hands wrapping around my waist pulling me against a chiseled chest and into an ardent embrace. Before I can dwell on this sensation, his head shakes infinitesimally and his eyes shift behind me. The feeling vanishes as he mutters embarrassed. "I'm sorry for interrupting your shower."

"I was just changing before updating the files. Come in, I'll just be a moment."

Returning, he stares up at me from the couch, his features impassive. "I didn't mean to interrupt your evening. I just came to see if you're alright." His tone cannot hide his concern.

Knowing I revealed too much, my tone turns petulant. "You must think I need as much help as some of the patients here."

"Mia, I believe you have a great gift. You connect with people realizing what they need, even when others don't. You just need to become more comfortable with your intuition." His hand moves toward me but recoils quickly. Distracted, he rises. "I should let you get to work. I have to see Gabriel."

Completing my work, I email my mother. Mom, I'm sorry for everything. Thank you for always trying. Mia

Before crawling into bed, I open the window, and catch a glimpse of lights moving swiftly through the trees. Staring, they are like nothing I have seen before, a burnt sienna light quickly followed by two golden lights. A menacing howl from deep within the trees rips through the peaceful silence and the lights vanish.

Nicholas menacingly encroaches upon me, sharp teeth bared, enraged midnight eyes, backing me into the wall. Closing my eyes, not wanting to see my impending demise, I push my back into the wall. Someone's back is against my front, my eyes fly open. Andrew is standing before me, his arms pushing against Nicholas, my heart beats wildly. The disturbing image before me shifts, Gabriel is moving at incomprehensible speed, whisking me into the woods. I somehow realize I am dreaming as my mind races seeing the glow surrounding them as they appear before me after my accident and seeing how Andrew's eyes seem to change, sometimes reflecting the heavens. My mind shifts again as I stand before William's painting, the images no longer static; they are fighting; sparks emanate from their aggravated embraces. None of the images make sense and how do they connect to the strange lights and howling. My raging thoughts force me awake. The clock reads 2:30. My mind races with images of fighting figures. Rising, I head over to take another look at the family portrait, wondering what about that portrait my dreams are trying to reveal.

# Chapter Eight – A Search For Answers

Crossing the courtyard, I'm surprised, my leg feels healed. Grabbing a flashlight, I tiptoe across the attic not to wake anyone. Flashing a beam across the St. Cloud's uniquely beautiful, pale complexions, I scan the first row. Andrew's eyes sparkle even in the portrait. As my eyes meet those in the back row, their eyes resemble thunderstorm clouds, Nicholas' contains tiny flecks of sienna. Thinking William didn't clean his brush, my eyes tear across them all. The eyes of the first row all contain shimmering diamond blue flecks while the second holds flecks resembling fading embers. My eyes focus upon two images sketched over the treetops, their facial features angry, and arms locked in battle, one with outstretched wings, while the other sports a tail and clipped wings, each encircled in their own bubble. Staring at them, I wonder if he included these strange creatures to display the very battle he sees this family helping him combat.

I jump as a cold grasp grips my shoulder, whirling me around.

My dream pierces my reality as Nicholas stands before me, eyes ablaze, voice dangerously angry. "What are you doing here? You are not welcome!" Unexpectedly, he releases my shoulder, grasping his head. Frozen from fear, I watch him struggle. His eyes flash from thundering gray to jet blue. His face momentarily calms. His mouth opens as if to speak, but then his features turn black and he takes a foreboding step toward me, lips parted. I can see his gleaming teeth. I back into the wall. Andrew's back brushes against my front and I can feel each sinew of his tense muscles, his outstretched arms interlock with Nicholas'. They fly across the attic in a blur, no sound. Hurrying toward the stairs, fearing Andrew fell, I instead hear the downstairs door slam. Reaching the courtyard, I scan the trees, but no branch even rustles. Moving to the courtyard's edge, my eyes catch a crimson and golden light streaking through the outer forest.

Fearing they will hurt each other, I bolt inside the residency, desperate to find Gabriel. Running upstairs, I'm surprised to realize that I am concerned for both of them. My intuition screams. If something happens to one of them, the other will also be hurt. Knocking frantically, Gabriel emerges fully dressed. "Andrew and Nicholas are fighting, you have to stop them." I blurt out breathlessly.

He appears unsurprised. "Which way did they go?"

"I'm not sure, they moved so fast, but I did see lights in the forest. Please find them!"

He streaks past me like a hurricane.

Anxiously pacing within the small confines of my suite, my heart tries to rip itself from my chest. Wanting to scream, but fearing I will wake the house, I pick up an art book lying on the table, forcing my fingers to flip through the masterpieces of Michael Angelo, Raphael and Botticelli. My mind refuses to focus, my anxiety increases, my head pounds as my heart thrums like a freight train barreling down the tracks. Turn the page, concentrate...Turn the page, concentrate. I repeat this mantra. My eyes are no longer staring blankly, I gasp as Giovanni Fresco's painting of The Guardian Angel leaps off the page, its glistening eyes, porcelain complexion and chiseled features looked hauntingly familiar. The angel stares out at me from the book, the way the angelic faces of Eva, Andrew, Gabriel, Jackson and Catherine stared out at me from William's painting.

Shaking my head in disbelief, my subconscious mocks my thoughts. There are no such things that walk this earth. Get a grip or they really will make you a patient here. Besides, even if they did exist, they would not be filled with rage and anger like Nicholas. Am I losing my mind or is it just overreacting to the over active imaginations of the patients? Closing my eyes, hoping to dispel such thoughts, instead images of Andrew all aglow, hovering over me, speaking of using his strength to heal me flits across my eyelids along with the lights in the forest. My skin prickles remembering the feel of their cool touches. My head spins as it recounts the patients' stories concerning the murderous, shadowy figures and the rescuing illuminated figures offering salvation. The bombarding images are so forceful, my ears begin ringing. Standing too quickly, the images intensify, the ringing becomes more profound, and I'm thrust into blackness.

Awareness slinks into my consciousness. I am no longer on the floor but in my bed. Someone is sitting beside me, their cold fingers on my wrist. My fluttering eyes meet Andrew's anxious stare. All reasoning lost, I hurl myself at him, embracing him tightly. "You're alright! I was so worried."

As reason returns, I drop my arms quickly. "I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." His hand reaches as if to stroke my cheek but falls to his side. "Are you alright?" His voice sounds concerned.

"I'm fine, but why is Nicholas so angry with me, it can't be because of the coffee incident?"

A flurry of emotions flits across his face, some indiscernible. "I don't know what to tell you other than I'm sorry for my brother's actions."

My hand shakes as my index finger briefly brushes down the index finger of his fallen hand. Breathlessly, I plea, "Earlier you asked me to trust you and I did. Please trust me now and tell me what's going on!"

Anguish distorts his features, his tone virtually inaudible. "We are not your typical family..."

Gabriel bursts in. "Andrew there is an emergency." Leaning over, he whispers something I cannot hear.

Rising, Andrew mutters "I'm sorry" before they're both out the door. Exasperated by the all too perfect timing, I flop back on the bed groaning.

Gabriel and Andrew are nowhere to be found as I start my rounds, steering each patients' session toward their recounting of the events that led them to this place. Each in a fervent voice describes an event wrought with unexplained atrocity and a miraculous rescue. Listening intently, reviewing their records, a realization hits me like a wrecking ball, nothing about them or their history indicates contentions devoid of reality, other than what is tied to the one event which forever altered their existence.

I set out to find William who's still out sketching. I catch sight of Gabriel heading toward the terminal building. He is on the telephone as I come up behind him. "It is necessary. Don't worry. I promise you that nothing will happen while you're gone. Obviously you are in deeper than you have ever been and you need to gain perspective before..." He stops abruptly and turns. "Hello, Mia."

"Gabriel what happened last night?"

"I'm sorry that you got caught in a misunderstanding. When I found them, they had straightened everything out." His voice is calm, but his eyes look everywhere but at me.

"Are you covering again for Andrew?"

"Yes, I have to check on Mr. Saperstein, but then was going to look for you. Andrew and Eva went to set up Alex as an outpatient. Jackson will help you with Eva's patients; she should only be gone a few days." He moves into the building quickly.

None of this makes any sense. Physicians don't leave patients to care for bereaving relatives. Frustrated by the cloak and dagger mystery weaving an intricate web of deception around me, my muscles tighten and my mind reels. Despite it all, my inner consciousness screams, you know the family is good, you just need to figure out what they are trying to protect with their misdirection.

My thoughts are interrupted by William. "Are you looking for me doc?"

"Yes, how did your sketching go?"

"Very well"

Moving toward a bench, he shows me his sketches and we speak conversationally. "William, what did you mean about the differences in the St. Cloud family?"

His eyes dart around. "Doc, I shouldn't have said anything. You'll think I'm suffering delusions again."

Trying to convey my sincerity, "I would never think that. I know you have a theory about them; you even express it in your art. I am very interested in what think. You know they say an artist can perceive a person's true soul and observe what others overlook."

His jaw drops. "Do you really believe that?"

"I do. I know artists can see beyond someone's seeming appearance, uncover their true nature."

Leaning closer, his voice drops. "Eva, Jackson, Gabriel, Catherine and Andrew are involved in our care because they are good, illuminated by the light like the woman who saved me, but their siblings struggle because the dark shadows try to cling to them, engulf them. Only fleetingly have I seen the light penetrate their encroaching shadows. You need to be careful around them." His tone conveys his sincerest belief.

"William, do you see the light or darkness around them all the time?"

"No, I see them at night as they return from their walks when I'm painting in the loft." His voice turns pleading, his body exuding anxiety. "Doc, please don't say anything. They won't let me paint at night anymore."

Wanting to reassure him, I reply calmly. "I won't say a word, but William people can't give off light, it must be coming from a flashlight."

"Doc, I'm sure you believe that, but I know what I saw as a boy and am resolute in my belief regarding what I see now. If this means you think I'm suffering from delusions, maybe you should consider that you are deluding yourself as to what really is allowed to walk in our plane." He states resolutely.

The next few days go by routinely. I even send apologetic emails to my family in hopes of mending fences, badly in need of repair.

Finishing early on Friday, I decide to take a hike. Grabbing the compass my grandmother gave me so that I could always find my way home; I walk brusquely, enjoying the surrounding beauty, despite my preoccupation with the patients' surreal contentions and my imagination. As the sky darkens, a flickering glow, escaping the windows of a cabin nestled in the woods, catches my attention. The residents must have lit a fire. Anticipating the aroma of burning wood, I inhale deeply, but only a crisp pine scent tickles my nostrils. Looking up, there is no smoke emanating from the chimney.

Arguing voices pierce the peaceful silence, spiking my curiosity. Moving closer, an enraged female voice bellows. "You know she is protected while on these grounds, so stop plotting. You agreed to this arrangement and fighting with them gets us nowhere, we suffer, they suffer and our situation remains unchanged. Even you have to admit you found nothing in these last hundred years to say following him will help us. You know he deceives. He is evil and you know what his doings have cost this family! What if Andrew is right and by his creating her and his lust for her children, our fate is sealed. At least they have found peace. Maybe we could too and become a family again." I hear her longing. "Don't you want a little time to be happy before the all too consuming horror that will plague our eternity?"

"I know he is part of us all, but maybe if we give him something he wants more than us, she will be set free and so might we. Our mother chose her path, but our choice was ripped away. He will never let us go unless we can bargain with something he wants more and I was told he wants her! I think she's very powerful. Maybe she is the key to unlocking it all! Besides he'd probably send her here to do his work, so even she won't suffer." The male's inflamed retort reminds me of Nicholas, I shudder.

Fearing I might be right, I turn to leave, but another frustrated male voice stops me in my tracks. "No good can come of siding with him. Even if you gave him Mia, it doesn't mean that he would let us go." They're talking about me! My blood runs cold and my legs feel bolted to the ground. "We would always be one soul shy of freedom. Just think about those we've already imprisoned. Just because we are part of him doesn't mean we can't overcome it, look what they have done! Maybe this is a cosmic joke with us as pawns and we need to do what is right to bring us peace while we are here."

"Maybe mister perfect doesn't know everything and our not seeking anyone who isn't already tagged is what forestalls our finding a solution! I know we can't escape what he made us, but maybe if we committed to him here, we could escape being engulfed in his fiery abyss." Nicholas' roaring retort knocks the wind from my lungs. I sink to the cold ground.

"You know what he is!" The female's voice sounds exasperated. "All who serve him are forever damned. Serving him will seal our fate for sure the way her giving into his trickery sealed hers. Do you really want to forever be one of his shadows? Remember the condemnation we witnessed through her eyes, the burning, the desolation, the emptiness. Think back, I know that it was a few hundred years ago, but it's not something you forget, ever! Then think of how you felt seeing paradise through our father's eyes and feeling its peace. I want to spend my eternity that way. I think we should join them."

"You are all wrong! By siding with them and protecting her, you condemn us all! We should act while he is away and cannot stop us!" A loud crash echoes through the trees, energizing my legs. I crawl quickly and hurl myself over shrubs at the cabin's side just as the door thrashes open. Holding my breath, my body shudders as someone streaks toward the forest. Hiding for what feels like an eternity, I hug myself trying to stop my shaking and chattering teeth as I repeat my mantra. Calm down. If they hear you, God knows what they will do.

Additional footsteps scramble down the stairs, across the fallen leaves then everything is silent. Forcing myself from my hiding place, I carefully begin back trying not to make a sound, hoping they are not still in the woods. The cold is now biting. My stomach protests missing lunch and dinner. Finally reaching my suite by 10:30 p.m., I close and lock the door, wondering if returning is really a good idea. A rapid knock makes me jump. "Mia!" Gabriel calls out anxiously. Opening the door, his all too pale face and wary eyes greet mine. "Where have you been? If anything ever happened to you, he..." His voice drifts as his eyes tear toward the floor.

"Gabriel, are you concerned because you know what happened in the woods?"

"Who did you see in the woods?" He stares at me as if trying to rip the answers from my mind. His features turn frustrated.

"I didn't see anyone! I heard them however."

"Did they see you? What did they say?" His anxiety ridden tone tells me he knows exactly who I came across.

I suspect William's warning is correct. "You admit who they are first and then maybe I'll you what I heard." I blurt out louder than desired. I try to quiet my tone. "I don't like this cloak and dagger mystery. I won't do anything to harm your family, but I need answers!" Despite everything I heard I don't want to see anything bad further impinge upon this family. From what I heard, they suffered enough.

"It is better for you to only look at the surface, learning anything beyond that can only..." He stops suddenly anxious he said too much.

Taking his hand, ignoring its steely, cold feel, I plead. "I can be trusted! I know that your family suffered a tragedy which led you here searching for a solution, a key." His eyes flash. "Maybe if you tell me, I can help. I would never harm you!"

"I wish I could, but you would never understand. I don't understand myself!" His anguished voice turns formal and his body stiffens. "Please don't travel around the woods alone, we travel in pairs."

"What are you afraid of?"

He's distracted. "There are animals and you can get lost."

Trying one last impassioned plea, "Gabriel, please speak to Andrew about trusting me. You say you can't tell me, but I know he can and wish he would because I only want to help. Eva threw me a life vest when I needed it most and I would love to return the favor."

"I will consider what you said but can do no more than that." His response is clipped.

The next several days pass quickly and I'm relieved I don't see Nicholas anywhere. I even assist patients on a horseback ride. As everyone picnics at a lake, the St. Clouds feed the horses, insisting they ate earlier. As William sketches me, I wonder how that's possible since Jackson and Catherine were with me, never eating a bite.

Returning, Eva is there. My heart accelerates at the thought of Andrew's return. I try to convince myself it is because I will get answers to this mounting mystery, but I know better. I'm falling for someone I have no right to care for and who could never be interested in someone as lost as myself.

After settling the patients, I return to the residency. Eva is heading upstairs. She looks wary. "How did it go?"

"They are settled and the clinic will apprise me of her progress. Catherine called me and told me how well you are doing. So how do you feel about coming here now?" I could hear the implications assuring me she spoke to Gabriel too.

"You were right. Coming here is the right decision for me. I really do want to help everyone here." I respond brightly, hoping she understands my double meaning.

Following me into my suite, we go over the records.

"Eva, was Andrew alright when he heard of Mr. Saperstein's passing?"

"He felt badly, but is happy that he finally found peace. He is staying in New York to assist an old colleague." An unwelcomed longing unfurls in my stomach, I need a distraction. "Eva, why is only half your family in patient care?"

"It takes more than just physicians to run this facility efficiently."

"Do you know why your brother dislikes me so much?"

She looks surprised. "Andrew likes you very much. He thinks you're a great addition to our staff."

"I don't mean Andrew, I mean Nicholas." So focused on my inquiry, it takes my body a moment to register the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. Forcing myself to focus, I see her eyes shift.

Exhausted from the mental gymnastics of sifting through evasive half-truths, I plead. "Eva, please tell me the truth! I have observed a lot of strange things and overheard many more. You brought me here to help and I'm hoping that I can. This is the first place I have ever found peace and it is you who threw me this lifeline when I was sinking and there was no place to go but toward the bottom. You also saved my life after my car accident. I want to help, please let me!" My revelation brings her up short.

Rising, and pacing, she mutters to herself, talking about how it was a mistake to bring me here. A blanket of sadness covers me. "Please don't think that. I wanted to come, I needed to come! I don't want to cause trouble, it's just that I feel that this is where I've been heading, but never knew it."

"Mia, I am happy that you're here. You are a talented physician. Please understand, Nicholas doesn't hate you, he is just struggling with things that have happened to our family."

"Why does he want to give me to someone so that you can be free?"

She freezes. Finally she speaks authoritatively. "No one is giving you to anyone! How much have you observed?"

I decide to tell her everything, hoping she won't insist on my leaving what I now consider home. The words flood out. "I know an animal caused me to crash. I died and saw you, Catherine and Andrew hovering over me. Andrew used all his strength to save me and the three of you seemed to glow with the intensity of your efforts. I know you took me to a cabin in the woods which I believe I found and where I heard your siblings arguing over me. If I got the gist correct, Nicholas believes I can help free you and them from something terrible that is holding you. However, the others are not sure and don't want to risk fighting with you over my protection. I know Gabriel has superhuman speed and suspect he is not the only one with special talents. You are all exceptionally beautiful like porcelain dolls and just as smooth and cold. I never see any of you eat. All of the patients you treat believe their families were taken by something surreally evil and that they were rescued by a beautifully illuminated spirit. I have seen illuminations of light in the woods which do not resemble any flashlight. I know that you and your siblings are bound to this place by something well beyond your control and that you have been searching for an answer longer than I can comprehend. For some reason, Nicholas believes I may be the solution, but as long as I'm here and he stays true to a truce, I'm protected."

She stills, processing everything I revealed. After several ticks of the clock, she inquires with a resigned voice. "Who did you tell this to?"

"I have only spoken to Gabriel."

"What did he say?"

"He told me that only Andrew could give me the answers, but that he was dealing with something that is clouding his perspective. Is that true?"

She hesitates. "Yes. You are exceptionally observant. We are struggling against something that we had no choice in. We have limitations, but we also have gifts which we need to trust to lead us to a solution."

"Can you tell me what is going on?"

"No, Andrew is the oldest and his distraction is you."

My pulse races wildly. Could it really be possible that Andrew is interested in me?

Eva interrupts my introspection. "Mia, I'm going to have to call Andrew and he will have to come back sooner than anticipated. I don't know what he will tell you, but I need you to be patient. I know that it is asking a lot, but I promise you that you are safe here!" She squeezes my hand reassuringly.

I'm elated. Andrew is thinking of me, but fear overshadows me. What if my observations are wrong making him wary so that he asks me to leave? I can't sleep. I need answers.

My inner voice pleads with me to connect my knowledge and observations with the common threads revealed by the patients. Maybe if I put enough together before he returns, I'll have to stay to ensure their secrets are not revealed.

My mind free falls as I allow the images and information to bombard my conscious reaching for those illusive connections. Do I already know the answer, but refuse to accept or even consider it? Considering all of the patients here, it hits me like a wrecking ball. The treatments are not geared to disavow their claims but to find peace. The patients feel protected here, especially William. Is he right? Am I deluding myself? If they aren't some type of fantastical family, when I was in the accident, they would have taken me here, my car would be totaled and I would have scars. A typical facility would have patients other than ones who only believe pure evil claimed their family but absolute goodness, shrouded in illumination, saved them. Everything is associated with the endless conflict between good and evil.

Closing my eyes, I try to open my mind to possibilities beyond human confines concentrating on what I have discerned about this family. Images of their perfect features, without a hint of human imperfection, flit through my mind as I consider their cool touches, Gabriel's speed, Andrew's ability to heal without instruments, his preoccupation with preserving souls, their illuminated glows, conversations revealing lives beyond normal life spans. My mind is suddenly flooded with William's paintings, as a fleeting thought forces itself into my consciousness. What if they are telling a story that could not be silenced?

A moment later, I am standing in the psychiatric lobby staring at the island lighthouse. Its beam shoots across a sunlit ocean, glistening despite the blue sky. The beam is directed against overshadowing clouds encroaching upon the distant forest. Staring at it, I am reminded of the patients' stories of being saved by someone shrouded in light fighting back the dark shadows who stole their families.

As I move to the next building, images in William's file that caused me to shiver all those years ago, flood my thoughts.

The terminal building is quiet as I am once again captivated by the exquisite angel crushing the darkened shadow fighting to hold her down. Her face and that of the child are pale, flawless their blue eyes sparkle with the same depth and intensity that adorns the eyes of the St. Clouds in the first row of William's painting. My eyes shift to the shadow impeding the angel's assent, and widen as I realize it has turbulent, gray eyes with sienna flecks like the remaining St. Cloud family.

Scurrying upstairs to the family portrait, I flip over the cover, once again revealing their surreal faces. Eva, Gabriel, Andrew, Catherine and Jackson's features appear serene, their eyes glistening with the clear, blue intensity of a perfect sky, each adorned in an almost indiscernible glow, a faint echo of the glow enshrouding the angel downstairs. Their siblings' features are equally beautiful, but their eyes are thunderstorm gray with just a hint of burning embers. They are not adorned in a soft glow, but shrouded in the lightest of shadows. Moving closer, I observe a muted shimmer penetrating the darkness with soft, golden lines piercing through the surrounding dusk.

The two creatures are also completed. They are the faintest reflections against the breaking dawn and I squint to make out their details. One a baby angel, complete with wings, adorned in a golden cloud, fighting a creature enshrouded in a clouded shadow, but it too has light rays piercing through its darkness. Straining to see the details, I am shocked to realize they are not embroiled in battle. Instead, the angel is grasping this creature as if to bring it closer.

My eyes lock on the embracing creatures as my mind fights against the concept each patient professes is real. Taking in a deep breath, I close my eyes, forcing my mind to expand beyond the normal confines. As I do, one concept forces its way to the forefront. If angels and demons do exist, how are they involved in the secret that plagues this family, binding them to this place? Embracing this concept, I recall the revelation that their struggle has spanned beyond human reality, but how does Nicholas' belief about handing me over come into play to help end their suffering? I feel like Alice after she steps through the looking glass. Am I becoming delusional or am I catching a rare glimpse of a reality which our minds discount? I need more information and wonder if going through the patients' records, seeing how they describe the so-called angels may help.

Rushing back to my room, I hope my computer can offer me more insight, but am quickly disappointed as I realize the records only hold brief references of angels illuminated in light. Has Eva purposefully kept the records vague? Maybe the patients themselves can answer this for me.

# Chapter Nine - A Family's Secret Revealed

Before shutting down, I check my emails and notice one from my mother. Mia, _I'm glad to hear your work makes you happy. I realize now how hard you've struggled and we pushed, but we always had the best of intentions. Love, Mom._

Staring at the screen, the words are incomprehensible. What could have brought about her change of heart? I respond hoping we could start a new relationship. _Mom, I know you always wanted the best for me and I disappointed you. I hope we can start fresh. What brought about your change of heart? Write soon. Love, Mia._ I hit send and am surprised by her response minutes later.

A physician who was called in to consult with me on the case of a young child mauled by a bear opened my eyes. Not only were his surgical skills invaluable, but listening to him comfort the parents, assuring them that she had a strong soul and would not stop fighting to come back to her life because of their encouragement, got me thinking. As we waited for signs of recovery, we began talking about how our perceptions of what is right sometimes interferes with others choices. I couldn't help but think about how our perceptions of what the other was doing shaped our relationship.

Staring at her words they ring with a sense of familiarity. Could Andrew be there trying to smooth things over while helping the girl? I test my theory. _I'm glad you found someone that allows you to see a different perspective, that's how I saw my misconceptions. Who is your insightful comrade?_

Her response is immediate. _My insightful angel is Dr. Andrew St. Cloud. The name is rather ironic, since I blamed Eva, for your running from us, but from your emails, I wonder if she is your angel._

_Eva is helping me_. I type.

Honey, I just got beeped. We will be in New York for New Years, see if you could meet us, I would really like to see you. Love Mom.

Closing my computer, I wonder if the people here really can work miracles for all who enter. My mother and I haven't been civil since I was seven and now we're conversing.

The next morning, I have each patient recount their ordeal, each speaks of witnessing brute strength from the dark, shadowy creatures and being saved by beautiful, glowing angels. I save William for last. He confirms his paintings reflect the woman who saved him, her brilliant light which beat back the darkness and that the St. Clouds and their brilliance remind him of her.

"The major difference doc though is that her light was brighter than Andrew's and the shadow surrounding the creatures I saw and have her stepping on was darker than the one trying to envelop Nicholas." I feel my mouth drop and immediately snap it shut. "Look doc, I know that the world outside of this place does not believe what I said, but there are creatures that hide amongst our world and they are fighting. There is a battle between good and evil going on right in our own midst, but most of us are too blind to see that we are getting caught in the middle and are the tools they use to impair each other."

"William, are you saying that the people here believe that?" I try to sound nonchalant.

"Yes they do even though they don't admit it. I will also tell you that you didn't ask me this to fill in your records, you know they are special too and you're just trying to figure out what they are."

Trying to maintain a professional mannerism, I smile. "You are a very insightful man, but I do have to update the records."

Crossing the courtyard in the midst of my first snowstorm here, Andrew is stepping out of the residency. His features are paler than the snow crystals falling and just as uniquely beautiful. The thought of everything he has done for me, including allowing my mom to see who I want to be for the very first time, overwhelms me. Without thinking, I hurl myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist as we fall backwards into the snow. "Thank you for everything. No one has ever done as much for me as you."

My reaction catches him off guard. He hugs me back. Desire unfurls within me, electrifying my every nerve and I pull myself closer, hugging his statuesque physique. "You're welcome." His voice turns solemn. "My sister tells me we have a lot to discuss."

My heart races anxiously.

He rises taking my hand. "Come with me." His voice trails off. "There's no avoiding this now."

Glancing sideways, I see Andrew's eyes filled with unbearable sadness. I hate that I'm causing him such discomfort. Nervous that he may ask me to leave, my blood pulses through my veins. I'm too hot...too cold...lightheaded, I can feel myself sway and he must too because he carefully tucks me into his side practically carrying me. I want to tell him that I won't tell anyone, but my mind is racing and I can't form the words. Should I tell him everything or just my observations regarding the accident? I could always put off what I told Eva as allowing my overactive imagination to be overwhelmed by the patients' stories. We are walking down a path toward a darkened nursery, I need to decide quickly. His hand reaches the door. My heart spikes. This may be my only opportunity to try and convince him that I have no intention of hurting him or his family.

Stepping through, drawing in a deep breath, my words flow quickly. "I know that you saved me after my accident! I suspect your family has powers beyond mere mortals because some of you are angels while others struggle from being overtaken by evil influences. I feel very loyal to you, Eva and Gabriel. I won't ever reveal your secret, but please don't ask me to leave because I don't want to put anyone in jeopardy if I ever slip." I draw in a jagged breath as he stands frozen. Not even the melting snow dripping down his awestricken face shakes him from his immobility. The stiller he stands, the more labored my breathing becomes. The silence is so deafening, I can't stand it! "Please don't make me leave!" His eyes briefly flit towards my hands and I realize they are pressed together in supplication. "I love it here! I didn't mean to hear your siblings fighting or observe what I did. After the accident I died and saw you, Catherine and Eva trying to save me. I'm sorry, but really I won't tell anyone!" Tears begin to prick my eyes and I turn away.

His cool hands gently grab hold of my shoulders turning me back to him. His eyes stare intensely into mine searching for answers to unspoken questions. His eyes sparkle and grow more serene as if my thoughts reveal some answers. His celestial face softens. "Come and sit, you must be exhausted from piecing together so many puzzles in my short absence."

Leading me to a bench, I sit facing him. If he tells me to leave, I want to commit every inch of his beatific face and every glistening fleck of his sky blue eyes to memory.

His voice turns paternal. "Mia, I'm not going to ask you to leave, but I warn you once you know the truth, you'll probably bolt to get as far away from us as possible, despite the mounting storm."

Staring into his eyes, I could never imagine trying to run from them. In fact, I could never imagine the desire to look into another's eyes. My resolve to uncover the truth waivers, I just want to hold him close. Shaking my head in hopes of clearing my clouding thoughts, there is something I need him to know. "Andrew, your sister helped me find a home here and you have made me feel welcome and safe. I would never do anything to betray or harm you! There is nothing that you could tell me that would make me afraid of people who evidently strive to do magnificent things."

Anguish fills his eyes. "You may feel differently when you hear what vile creatures we are and what has a hold on us! I never intended for you to learn any of this. I wanted you to come here, find some peace and confidence in what you are doing, and get away from those who were causing you such trouble..." It's agonizing to watch him struggle to find the words he is looking for. "I hoped to give you some breathing room to discover what a truly wonderful person you are. I thought you could find yourself with us, enjoy your work and move on to a happy life." A wave of sadness crashes over me threatening to crush me under its weight at the thought of never seeing him again. His strained voice drags me to the surface. "Then, my brother sent you into the embankment to stop your arrival and you suffered life threatening injuries which we had to heal."

I gasp as Nicholas' irate image flashes before me. "Why would Nicholas want to stop me from coming? I never even met him, besides it was an animal that caused the accident."

"Nicholas believes that protecting you is a danger and it would be better if you were...somewhere else." His tone turns disgusted.

"I still don't understand, you said that he caused my accident. A large animal caused it, not another car."

"No, Mia!" He's at a loss.

In those silent moments, John and Stephanie's stories of animals turning into men bombards my thoughts. "Are you telling me that the animal was your brother?"

"Yes." He murmurs.

I freeze, they are not human. "So you're telling me that in addition to the swiftness enjoyed by Gabriel and I suspect all of you that you can change into animals? How is that possible? How could you cure me without instruments? I've only seen you sip tea, why don't you ever eat? Do you turn into the lights I see in the forest too? Did you turn into the creatures that killed some of the patients' family members? Are you an angel?" The questions pour out, but the last one causes me to hesitate because he would be the exact person I would want to guide me if I died.

"That is quite a barrage of questions and I'm sure you'll have more." He says wryly. His hand hesitates towards the hand resting on my knee before he quickly steeples his hands, gently taping his lower lip with his joined index fingers. "While I was away, I was trying to determine how much to tell you. I knew you were suspicious. I even suspect Gabriel asked you not to confront me. I intended to tell you only about the accident, but you seem to have pieced together our puzzle." He closes his eyes in defeat. When they open, the suffering of a hundred lifetimes is etched in his perfect features. "Are you sure you want to know the truth? Our story is somewhat overwhelming and more than most want to know about what goes on around them." Do I detect a tinge of hope that I may say no? I nod.

I gently stroke his cheek and am surprised he does not pull away. "Andrew, you have done wonderful things for me and your truth cannot be any worse than my suspicions. I want to know because I believe that I'm more involved than I realize. Maybe I can help!"

For an all too brief moment, he leans into my hand. He appears to be savoring my touch, but then straightens himself. His voice softens. "You are going to think that I am deranged. If you don't, I may reveal more than you want to know." My stomach fills with butterflies. "We are not angels or demons in the sense that humans think of these things. However, we are not human anymore." He pauses to gauge my reaction. I refuse to give him a reason to stop. "Do you believe in God and the devil?"

"I believe there is a divine being."

"What if I were to tell you that angels and demons fight for the souls on this plane?"

"I never thought about a soul. I believe we have a moral compass that guides us, but I never thought about angels fighting demons for it."

His tone turns grave. "Angels and demons have fought since Lucifer was cast out of heaven. They war for the souls on earth to enhance their armies. Although people have free will, there are guardian angels who try to guide them, while demons fight to lead them astray through malignant influences or creatures of the night. Our mother was unique. Strong souls, such as hers, only come along very rarely and would have proven a powerful force against the darkness. My father was assigned as her guardian angel, but Satan wanted her, so he destroyed the lives around her, to isolate her. He sent his creatures of the night, what you call vampires, to maliciously murder her family before her! My mother was locked away. One day she escaped, traveled far away and fell in love, but her husband was bitten by a vampire and transformed into the evil that she shied away from. His constant barrage isolated her once again, but she still had hope, she was carrying his child. When the child was born, the darkness claimed him too! My father tried to show her that she was not alone, but since God believes in free will, when angels are here, they can only gently influence. The devil, however, does not play by the rules. Desperate to join her son, she committed suicide which is not forgiven. As my mother lay dying, she finally saw the angel who watched over her, but it was too late. Her soul was cast into hell!"

His features twist in agony. Taking in a deep breath, he continues. "She got him to send her here to fight for souls. When angels and demons are here, they can take on human or creature form to assist in their work. My mother sought out her protector angel. They fell in love, and took human form. From their love came four sets of twins. We were human and had strong souls.

My father feared for my mother because their time on this plane was running out! He went to the archangel, Michael, and begged him to plead for mercy to be bestowed on her and offered for his soul to be cast into hell. Michael was so touched; he petitioned and was granted the power to send them to purgatory. They were thrilled. It was decided that the children of their union, since we were all in our twenties, could go on and our deeds would decide where our souls resided.

However, Satan became aware of his impending loss and would have none of it! He got hold of our mother and began ripping her soul into as many pieces as she had children and was going to cast them into the deepest parts of hell. My father tried to barter his soul, but the devil would have none of that. He also demanded our souls since we were a product of her defiance." His tone oozes disgust and he pauses calming himself. "Michael refused and a fight commenced between the devil, his minions, Michael and his angels! Fearing he would lose, the devil tried to hedge the odds by sending his creatures of the night to transform us. As they did, he attempted to extract our souls so that they would be his for eternity. Before he could complete his task, Michael captured our souls and was whisking them toward the heavens when Lucifer hurled an encasement at him, causing him to fall back toward earth, allowing Lucifer to trap our souls and the fragments of our mother! The fighting intensified.

My father, fearing we could be lost forever made one last bartering attempt. Satan believed his demonic imprint on our now entrapped souls would allow him to control us and we would be his power on this plane, but he needed control over the encasement which the fighting forestalled, so he accepted my father's deal.

It was agreed that when we were destroyed, our souls would go wherever our actions led and our parents would go to neutral territory, provided that we could figure out the event or key which would unlock our prison within a thousand years. Otherwise, our souls and the souls of those we fell in love with would be under his control on the plane of his choosing and my parents would both be his to torture in hell!"

He pauses again, searching my eyes. Finding nothing, he continues. "Then there was the problem of who would take possession of the encasement. Neither side trusted the other, not to be able to break it open and take possession of the souls. My father proposed that the encasement be separated with each of us to have our own. Since we are tied to this plane because of our new found immortality, the encasements would remain reachable by either when time ran out. As my father said goodbye, he passed on some of his powers in hopes of combating the darkness imposed by our conversion."

I sit there as still as stone, astonished as the images bombarding my thoughts, yet I cannot wrap my mind around the concepts. I don't know how to react, but he is wrong on one point, I did not think he is deranged or lying. I try to gauge my voice. "That is quite a story, but I don't understand one thing."

He interrupts me shocked. "You have just one question!"

I try sounding amused. "I have much more, but what happened to your souls, do you store them in a vault?"

Unfastening his top two buttons, he pulls out an ornate piece of jewelry unlike anything I have ever seen – a serpentine triangle pendant, surrounding a dangling figurine. The bottom left angle houses a deep crimson ruby blazing under the light with fire, while at the bottom right there's a brilliant diamond shining as if it is directly under the sun. The top appears to have lost its jewel. Looking closer, I realize it is an empty chamber and that the others are not stones at all, but lights bouncing within the chambers' confines. Gasping as the incomprehensible realization of what they are hits me, my shaky hand reaches out palming it as my fingers glide over its white light. "Is that you?" I whisper.

"Yes and over here is my mother." His long finger, gently strokes the red light and he appears lost in some distant thought.

"Did you lose something here?" I stroke the top chamber.

"No, over the centuries, I have never let my emotions get the better of me and fill that chamber." His features now a steely resolve.

"Do your siblings have the same?"

"We each have an identical one."

"So you were conceived by the union of a demon and angel. You're not an angel, despite having angelic powers." My head shakes. "You're not a demon, but the devil believes that because of your mother, he has a claim to you and has tied you to the underworld by making you a vampire." My eyes tear from his back to the pendant "and your soul is trapped in this object, along with part of your mother's shredded soul until you find something to unlock the chamber."

He chuckles, probably at my factual tone. "When you sum it up like that, it sounds pretty simple. I guess you could call us angelic vampire demons."

"Have you ever come close to opening the chambers?"

"No, until this last century, we were fighting and making things worse. Nicholas, Serena, Jonathan and Francis believed that embracing vampirism and providing Lucifer enough souls was the key, but we fought against them because believing that would only result in more lost souls! We are trying to convince them that if band together, we can find something during a moment when his side is weak that will help us gain our freedom."

Listening to him, a grave thought enters my consciousness. "Did your siblings have anything to do with these patients' tragedies, is that why you opened this place?"

"No." He shakes his head emphatically. "Those were the works of demonic creatures or vampires. Our battling caused significant damage, especially to Nicholas and me. Every time he would do something bad, I got much weaker and each time I would combat it with something good, he would become weak. Fearing that this could happen to us all and we would destroy ourselves before finding a solution, we came here seeking neutral territory. At first it was just us, but after suffering certain tragedies, our siblings waivered and we came to an understanding. We use our skills to help others figuring if we can free the souls of the terminally ill and bring them peace or help those who suffer at evil's hands maybe we can bring peace to ourselves. Our siblings assist us provided that those who appear to be already tagged for the underworld are delivered by them without our interference."

Enthralled by his account, the knowledge that he is also a vampire finally pierces my consciousness. Should I be terrified or do I admire him for his compassion? Staring into his eyes, all I want to do is hug him fiercely to remove the anguish from his features. At that moment, I'm sure I have nothing to fear. I need a distraction, before my wayward thoughts lead to actions I know he will not like. "After my accident, you healed me, yet I have no scars and I didn't see instruments. Did you use some sort of angelic power?"

His features turn solemn. "We eventually used instruments, but before then I advanced your healing because your wounds could be healed." He inhales a deep, worrisome breath as if remembering something upsetting. "If your body couldn't have stabilized, I wouldn't have been able to save you!"

"Why is that?"

"Since we are not celestial creatures, we cannot do what true angels can do, our powers are limited."

"What gifts do you possess?"

"Our talents appear to be polar opposites of our twin. As I can advance healing, Nicholas can advance death, but we can both see the aura of someone."

Astonished, "You can see someone's soul?"

"I'm not sure if it is their soul or tendency to be good or evil. Eva can enter people's dreams, while Serena projects herself. Gabriel enjoys extra sensory perception, while Jonathan can distort people's perceptions. Catherine is able to calm storms, while Francis can enhance them."

As he says this, I remember how my conversation with William got interrupted by a fast approaching storm as we caught sight of Francis which dissipated as soon as William left. "Are Jackson, Damian and Lucy human?"

"No." Sadness fills his voice.

"How did they..." I can't even finish.

"Sometimes you come across your better half, someone that you can't live without and in that moment, when you can't force yourself to deny it any longer, they become ensnared!" Anguish overwhelms his features. "For Eva that happened with Jackson, she fought it for years, even sent him away, but he was tenacious like you and when he came back, he knew enough to force the truth and pursued her all the more because he believed they were better together, no matter what their fate! Damian and Serena were love at first sight. We were together when a hurricane hit, Catherine tried to calm the storm, but Francis wouldn't allow it and a hospital collapsed. After witnessing the destruction, they had a change of heart and we searched for survivors. Serena found Damian and fell in love. She begged me to help heal him and promised to try to do the right thing if I would help. He hasn't left her since. As for Jonathan, he found Lucy after we suffered a great loss and she hasn't left him since. He turned her immediately.

"Do they have special abilities?"

"They share their spouse's fate and powers."

"Why would your brother try to stop me from coming and why does he hate me? He doesn't even know me!"

He becomes lost in some unknown thought before finally speaking. "That's not entirely true. When you were young, you rescued me when I was losing a confrontation with him. He was circling around when you interfered with is attack."

Seeing my bemusement, he leans down staring into my eyes. "Mia, I was the eagle you rescued, my brother was the fox!"

I gasp. "I didn't save you, my siblings fixed you up."

"Mia, your throwing dishes at Nicholas interrupted his frenzied attack and alerted the others to my location."

I gasp at the memory. "So he blames me for that and now thinks I threaten him, but why?"

"We're not sure, we think he is hiding something, but I suspect that it is because you have a very strong aura around you."

"That can't be true! I have never done anything right my whole life!"

He hesitates but then gently strokes my knuckles with his index finger. "Mia, I wish you would stop looking down upon yourself because you made choices others disagreed with and beating yourself up over the girl on the train, you couldn't have saved her or the boy in Minnesota." His impassioned voice is pleading.

"You're wrong. I saw the signs; if I pushed; Christian might be safe now instead of in a grave!" My hands fly to my face to hide my now flowing tears.

He pulls me into his cold embrace as he strokes my back trying to comfort me. "You couldn't save him! It was not your call."

Looking up, his proximity stuns me.

His fingers wipe my tears. I don't know if it is my vulnerability that touches him, but his cool lips ever so briefly brush my cheek with gentle kisses. His lips murmur against my skin. "You're going to be alright. You are a strong, compassionate person."

He hoists himself from me, stands, and begins pacing wildly, murmuring to himself, as I sit stunned at how safe I felt enfolded in his arms, despite his revelations. My heart feels whole for the first time. His utter panic pulls me from my reverie. "It will seal her fate, hand her to him to cause chaos and destruction. It will be worse than what happened with father!"

He's trying to convince himself to stay away from me. This thought crushes my very soul. I am caught in a tsunami unable to emerge. Staring at him, I know I love him. Is he afraid that he will seal my fate because he has feelings for me too? I try to think through the repercussions of my revelation. "Andrew, please stop."

He stops short and I stand, taking his hand, my voice cracks. "My fate is already sealed!" We stare into each other's eyes for an immeasurable moment. I feel his free hand gliding gently up my arm, across my shoulder and up my neck until my face rests within his cold palm. Desire unfurls within me as his seraphic face moves closer to mine. His porcelain lips brush mine as soft as a passing breeze. Releasing his hand, they move to my back, pulling me closer to him. His lips move urgent upon mine. I sense his need. My heart pounds; scorching blood courses through my veins; I'm on fire; every muscle in my body aches to be close to him. I need him. I want him. I can't live without him. As I pull him closer, he hoists himself from our embrace. "No, I'm sorry, this can't be!" His face fills with anguish and he is gone.

# Chapter Ten – Gone

My legs turn to jello. I plop onto a nearby bench, stunned at the revelations of the day and the sensations his impassioned kiss awakens in me. This is all too fantastic to comprehend; the possibilities and dangers war within me. Longing to find him and assure him that I want to be with him no matter where our fate lies, I know looking for him would be futile.

I'm shocked when the door opens. My secret hopes dashed as Gabriel comes toward me, his expression grave. What if Andrew has left?

"Don't worry, he didn't leave." I'm about to ask how he knew, but remember his gift. "You know everything"

I can only nod my head.

"He's afraid for you."

"I know." I sound breathless.

"It's not wise for you to get involved with us. We could all be lost. There is no recovery from the fate that awaits anyone who gets trapped with us. It would destroy him to hand you over to what destroyed our mother, our family, our future!"

My head spins as he verbalizes the repercussions from the choice I can't escape. I won't turn away from Andrew. Whether they are aware of it or not, my fate is already tied to theirs. Maybe I was on this path ever since that day at the Lake. Maybe, they need me as much as I know I cannot exist without him. "You have to find him before he leaves forever. You already know that we are connected and I'm sure you know where my fate lies now! Please Gabriel!" Overwhelmed by the thought of never seeing him again, I put my hand over my mouth to prevent an escaping sob.

"You don't know what you are asking." Gabriel's tone is sedate. "Do you understand the consequences? Once you become entrapped, there is no turning back, no reprieve and no escape from the evil that waits or the one we will be enslaved to serve!"

My anxiety mounts, Andrew could be even too far for Gabriel to reach him. "Please you know your brother's reactions to losing souls and you know he is making a choice for me now. He is doing what I fought my whole life against, he is taking away my choice, it is my life and it should be my decision!" An unfamiliar air of determination fills my voice.

"I will find him and bring him back, but Mia you have to understand that this affects him too. He's right. You are too special to risk. He cares for you but knows what getting involved with you could mean. He understands the sacrifice our father made for our mother, he was the one who convinced Eva to send Jackson away and then tried to talk Jackson out of his decision when he returned." His voice is impassioned, desperate. "It is in your best interest to walk away while you still can! You have had a lot to digest, all of which is fantastical so it makes the choice seem surreal, but I warn you, the consequences are very real! Please promise me that you will consider this." Then he disappears.

As the hours pass, I become more fearful that Gabriel cannot convince Andrew to return, let alone give me a chance to choose my destiny. I know Gabriel is right, the story is surreal, the people fantastical and some very frightening. I'm certain of only one thing. I cannot walk away from Andrew. I need him, no matter what the cost. The only times I have ever truly felt peace was the day at Lake Anna when I lay beside the majestic eagle and the moment I came here and set my eyes upon the calm, clear sky in his. Despite this, I am keenly aware that the cost could be an eternity of hardship, suffering and servitude. Regardless of the price, I am willing to pay it.

I need something to help me calm down. Noticing a small apple tree, I pick one. Biting into it, the taste reminds me of apple picking as a child. A cool rush of air breaks through my reverie. Andrew is standing before me, his eyes reflecting the crushing agony my choice hoists upon him. Rushing toward him, I drop the apple at his feet and wrap my arms around him. "I'm so happy you came back. I thought..." He stiffens. I drop my hands. "Andrew, come sit and talk with me." I plead.

Reluctantly, he sits. An indiscernible emotion rips through his features. "Mia, I came to tell you that no matter what you say, I will not allow you to make the choice that you are considering. I won't let you suffer the way my mother has!"

Staring into his resolute eyes, anger wells within me, I want to shake him, scream at him that he has no right to take my choice away, but instead I draw upon my raging emotions to sound determined. "You wait right there Andrew, tonight, I listened to everything you had to say with an open mind and unobstructed heart. You will do me the same courtesy. You are not taking the most important decision of my existence away because you are unyielding!"

"Mia, you have no idea what you're asking me to condemn you too!" His stoic tone is more impressive, but I can see the pain which refuses to leave his eyes. "At best, he leaves you to be torn apart daily in the desolate, flaming abyss! At worst, you will be set forth to bring about carnage and condemn additional souls!" Rising, he picks up the apple. "Did you enjoy eating the apple?" I don't understand why he sounds aggravated.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would mind, I got hungry." My apology disarms him.

His eyes become soft as he sits. "I'm not upset that you ate the apple, but even this pleasure would be taken from you. You would become his puppet for all eternity!" His voice cracks. "Can you even comprehend what you are contemplating? You can't get involved in this, please trust me," He pleads. "Once made, this decision is not something you can walk away from. We are going to fail and those who are foolhardy enough to get involved with us will perish by our side! I won't allow you to suffer that fate! Do you understand the gravity of what I would be doing to you?" His tone strangled. "Not only will your soul belong to the darkness, but our special gifts are the key to an escalation of the war on this plane. The darkness will use us to directly affect the elements, lives and souls of all who inhabit this Earth!"

His eyes turn turbulent gray. "Mia, God allows free will and the devil can only create his creatures of the night, but even they have free choice. It is only his shadows, who have no choice, but they may only assist on this plane, not directly interfere. If he controls us, he can directly wreak havoc here! Take myself and Nicholas; I could be used to keep healthy those who chose to do evil while Nicholas advances the death of potentially good souls before they have an opportunity to become strong. If you, the strong soul that you are join us, your power will be stronger!"

"I don't understand."

"Your soul is strong. The powers that our union would pass to you will be more potent. We saw this with Damian. He is stronger than Serena and can even split his apparitions. We suspect that it is because his soul is not hindered by any connection to the underworld in the way ours are." He closes his eyes. When they open, his features turn resolute. "I won't allow myself to love you! I won't have you forced into doing his bidding! Just think about how you would feel extending the life of a child rapist so that he could continue to steal others innocence!"

My mind reels at the devastating images but my choice is unchanged. I need to make him hear me. "Andrew, please let me speak!"

"I'll listen, but I won't let you sway me," His tone is unwavering.

That did it, "How dare you!" I yell. "How dare you decide how I will live my life!"

"At least you'll have a life to live!" He retorts.

"I said you are going to listen, so don't interrupt! All my life people have told me how to live and you are all wrong! Everything I have done has led me to you, to this and the final decision is mine! You said it yourself, we all have free choice and you are not supposed to suppress that."

"Mia, I'm not bound by that. I am not an angel, I'm a creature!" He grabs my chin, lifting my face and stares intently into my eyes as if he is trying to bend me to his will.

I try for an equally impressive stare, but know I'm not even close. "You are bound by that because of who your father is! Maybe I can help! If my soul is as strong as you believe, we should be together, searching for a solution which will forever forgo anyone becoming his puppet."

"It's your strong soul which makes you such a lure for him!" He spits out. "If he could turn you, the way he turned my mother that would be another victory!"

"All the more reason to entrap me with you, when you prevail, he loses another force."

"Mia, I won't risk you." He looks tortured. "We are not going to find a solution and even if we do, look at what we are, look at what he made us! What if his imprint is what brings doom? What if that is what forever prevents our finding a solution? I can't allow you to suffer and give him one more puppet to manipulate! If you think what your parents did was wrong, how do you think you will feel when he is pulling your strings? Can't you see that I'm trying to save you!"

Grasping his hands tightly, I need to make him see my point. I can't allow his stubbornness to extinguish my first sparks of life. You already saved me! Now let me rescue you. I know where my fate lies! Don't you see? Everything that has occurred in my life happened to lead me here to you. In you, I have finally found the missing piece of my heart. My fate was sealed the day I was born! Did you ever consider that I was sent to help you? Maybe that is the purpose of my existence and the reason you got hurt fighting with your brother at the Lake. Had you ever been hurt like that before?"

"No, but that doesn't prove anything." The anguish on his face becomes more pronounced. "Can't you see that we can't be saved! We don't deserve to be saved!"

"You can't believe that!" I retort exasperated.

"I do! We have already endangered three other lives and destroyed one! I won't endanger another! I spent my existence trying to ensure strangers would not suffer under his rule. The thought of my turning over you, someone who I..." He stops abruptly, squeezing his eyes shut. Opening them, he is in control again. "The thought is unbearable!"

"Andrew, please I won't push, but I know our fates are tied together! Otherwise I would have never uncovered the answers about your family." I stroke his agonized face lightly with the back of my fingertips. "Please don't close yourself off from me. Nothing has to be decided now. I know this is a decision with grave repercussions, but I'm begging you not to take the choice away from me while I'm thinking through everything you shared with me, not after you have given me so much."

Searching my eyes for answers, I squirm; hoping one of his talents is not discerning lies. My decision and fate are already determined. After what feels like an eternity, he speaks, his tone resigned. "I won't do anything now, but I am going to make you see the vileness of our existence. You will repel the idea of becoming a pawn in this sick existence!" Sighing, "I should get you back, the storm is getting worse."

The wind blows snow violently around us as he practically carries me across the courtyard. He walks into the kitchen. Jackson is reading the paper. "You should eat and I need to check on some patients."

Fearing that he is actually running, my worried eyes shoot up to his. "Are you coming back?" My shaky voice reveals my anxiety.

Understanding fills his features. "I promise to be back shortly."

Jackson turns to me. "You know everything, don't you?"

"I'm definitely more informed."

Compassion fills his features. "The decision is easily made isn't it? Even though they don't think they deserve our love, we both know differently. If he is what you want, fight for him. I knew from the first moment that I loved Eva. Don't give up, he needs you!"

"I knew he was unique the moment I saw him and I know my fate lies with his."

Eva enters, concern resonating from every pour. "How did it go?"

"He told me everything." I wrap my arms around her. "I'm so sorry. All the while, you were listening to my little contrivances, you were dealing with this."

Her voice is soft. "We all have issues, just look at the patients here. It's what we make of ourselves despite those inequities which define us. I have faith that we will prevail."

Jackson hugs her. "That's what I love, her unfailing faith that good will win out."

She laughs and turns to him. The love that passes between them makes me hopeful.

As I shower, all the revelations cause my head to spin but my heart is not confused, it holds steadfast and belongs only to Andrew.

When I come out, he's sitting on the couch. "You look surprised to see me, your door was unlocked. I hope you don't mind."

We sit quietly, searching each other's eyes for answers to unspoken questions. I finally break the silence. "What are you thinking?"

Taking my hands in his cool grasp, his desolate eyes pull at my heart. "Mia, I know what you asked for, but I can't get involved with you! I could never reconcile myself with the consequences." His tone turns agonizing. "You came here to escape those who took away your choices. My falling in love with you would destroy any chance of you ever making a choice again and not just in this lifetime, but for all eternity! He would be pulling the strings defining your every action!"

His tormented features bring the crushing tsunami back upon me as my tears escape. "I'm sorry" Is all I can whisper.

"It has been quite an evening." Seeing my unbridled tears, his voice turns comforting. "You need to sleep. Stress is very taxing."

"I'm afraid to sleep." My eyes glance down at my wringing hands. "I know you want to leave or have me leave, you could use this time to convince the others that this would be best, but it's not!"

He gently lifts my chin, his gaze holds such promise. "If I promise not to leave or speak with anyone, will you go to sleep?"

Despite his words, I cannot resign my fears. "I'm too afraid to let you leave." I confess. "Would you stay with me here?" I peer toward the couch.

His eyes lock upon mine, searching. Hesitantly, he rises, goes into the bedroom and returns with a pillow and coverlet. "Sleep and I promise that I won't move."

Closing my eyes, I fall into an uneasy sleep. Images of winged and tailed creatures battling amongst the clouds invade my dreams. I hear him. "Mia, you're safe, you must be dreaming." I feel his fingertips gliding down my cheek.

My dreams shift to Eva, Jackson, Gabriel, Catherine and Andrew in canoes upon a crystal lake. I'm on shore. Andrew paddles toward me. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning flashes across the water, striking the heart of the lake which is immediately set it ablaze. Five dark shadows spring, their eyes blazing like freshly lit coals. It's Serena, Damian, Jonathan, Lucy and Francis. My pounding heart obstructs my throat, I cannot scream. I watch helpless, knowing this is the end! They are going to tip the boats and cast their siblings into the blazing fires. Gaping at this nightmarish scene, I see something inexplicable. Andrew stands, his body vibrating, his image a blur, all of a sudden, Nicholas emerges from Andrew calling for his siblings to tip the boats. I scream. "No, leave them alone and I'll go with you!" Nicholas flies towards me with arms outstretched. My eyes open, I'm sitting up, shaking uncontrollably in Andrew's embrace.

I clutch him like a drowning man holding a life preserver while his soft words try to comfort me. "You're fine, it's only a dream. I'm here."

A loud knock makes me jump. "Mia, are you alright?"

Andrew responds. "She's fine."

What? He sees my confusion. "You screamed. What were you dreaming?"

I need a moment. Something about the dream is tugging at my consciousness. Running the dream in my mind, devoid of any emotion, I realize as the lake catches on fire, the others are trying to hoist themselves in, not tip their siblings over. They are seeking refuge, not revenge. Andrew rises, but it is Nicholas who emerged, drawn from Andrew, his face fierce with hatred. I'm certain that if he reached me, the others would be safe. If I tell my dream to Andrew, he will think I am afraid of being cast into the fire, but my fear is for them, not myself. I would gladly go into the fire if they could be saved.

His stroking my hand brings me out of my introspection. He is waiting for me to say something, but what can I tell him? "I'm sorry, I dreamt we were separated in a storm and you were in danger. I couldn't reach you, but knew if I could you would be alright."

His features become dismayed. "Mia, you can't concern yourself with our problems. You have an opportunity to reunite with your mother. You can't throw that away on a lost cause!"

His words inflame me. "You are not a lost cause." I shout angrily. "You bring peace to all who enter, including me! I also know what you did with my mother. She sees me for the first time!..."

He interrupts. "That's why..."

I put my hands on his lips. "No, you listen to me Andrew! You have an unbelievably loving soul, even if it is trapped. Nothing evil can hold something that good! Look at what you have accomplished without the benefit of soulful guidance. Do you really believe that would be possible if your loving soul hadn't imprinted upon your consciousness?"

His face turns grave. "I know that the darkest demon made me. I know I'm a demonic monster, it's you who are unwilling to accept that!"

Filled with rage, I see myself swinging to slap his face. He catches my wrist. His touch dissipates my anger. As my fingers brush his cheek, my anger turns to passion. My free hand moves up his neck, while the one on his cheek slides down. Pulling him toward me, my lips find his. It is not a gentle kiss as my desperation to have him stay with me fuels my desire. My body contours to his. My passionate assault surprises him. His arms wrap tightly around me, crushing me to him. He kisses me back with such passion, it could fuel a hurricane.

As his reason returns, he hoists himself from my embrace. "This is wrong! You know what it will cost you!" Desire and confusion rip through his features.

Breathless from the kiss, I murmur. "I'm sorry. Your thinking about yourself that way made me lose all reasoning. You have to know that it is not true! I will behave and keep my promise not to push you." I hold out my hand. "Friends?"

His face softens. "Always. Dress warm, it's still snowing."

"Will I see you later?" I hear the solicitousness in my voice.

He kisses my forehead. "I'll see you tonight."

Crossing the courtyard, I slip, falling backward into someone's arms. "Thank you." I turn and gasp as Nicholas' eyes meet mine. His features are cold but not angry, his eyes calculating.

"You're welcome. I would like to apologize for my behavior on our previous encounters and hope that we can start over." He holds out his hand.

Shaking it, I reply softly. "That would be nice. Thank you for your assistance. I need to see patients."

Finishing the last patient, I enter the residency and can hear voices from the kitchen. Andrew is sitting with his back toward me speaking with Jonathan. He rises and kisses my cheek. "You look tired." His kiss surprises me. His lips are not their usual cool nor did they cause my pulse to race. He introduces me to Jonathan. Turning to him, anxious to see the sky blue eyes I longed for all day, I'm stunned to see a flash of gray eyes and Nicholas' blonde hair. Forcing myself to stay calm, I realize Jonathan is speaking to me about coming here and my family. As I answer, I'm aware that Andrew is studying my responses and then I remember Jonathan's gift. Turning to Andrew, my suspicions are confirmed. Nicholas is sitting next to me. I rise. "I'm sorry, but it has been a very long day. Thank you for waiting for me."

Later, I hear a knock and Andrew's tentative face meets mine. His sparkling eyes make my heart race, confusing my thoughts and I am certain he is standing before me. "Come in. How was your day?"

"It was very difficult." His features are tense.

"Was it one of your patients?"

"No, I'm upset with myself for having Eva bring you here knowing that Nicholas held a grudge and believes if I was out of the way, he could convince the others to follow him. I should have sent Eva to you again. I let my own selfish desire to see you impair my judgment."

"You wanted to see me again?" My voice reveals my delight.

"Mia, most people when they see an injured animal, pass it by, but you, even after I was fixed up, spent the rest of your time, caring for me. When you stroked my feathers, it was the first spark of life I felt since our conversion! In my unrealized desire to interact with you again, to feel that connection, I failed to see the most immediate danger to you is me!" His tone dejected.

I can't let him shut himself off from me. Hesitantly, I stroke his cheek. "You are not a threat to me, you are wonderful, amazing and..." I bite my lip before I blurt out that I love him.

"I'm not! I am the worst threat imaginable. You don't understand!" He pulls back from me.

"Then explain it to me." I retort exasperated.

"Gabriel fought against falling in love and when he failed, we lost her. He will never forgive himself for the plague he brought upon her."

Gabriel never talked about a wife and I saw his encasement, it only held two illuminations. "I don't understand?"

His features appear to drift to a distant memory. "We were in Jerusalem setting up a makeshift hospital when Gabriel met a missionary. They worked together for years. She fell in love with him, but he fought against it. One day when she was out, he told me we had to leave. Losing focus for an instant, he confided that he loved her. In that moment, we stood in horror as he watched his third angle glow then disappear! We thought everything was fine, but when she didn't return, we searched for her and found her body or at least pieces of her remains. Her convoy hit a mine and there was only one badly burned survivor, Lucy."

I gasp. "Poor Gabriel" Tears fill my eyes. "I thought vampires couldn't die."

"She wasn't an immortal! He hadn't changed her. He was crushed as we realized what happened to her soul, knowing that if his life never touched hers, her essence would be among the clouds, not smoldering in the embers!"

We sat in silence until I couldn't bear it. "Gabriel's story is all the more reason that we should be together because then nothing could separate us the way death separated them."

Staring at me as if my words plunged a stake into his chest, his voice turns stern. "Mia, I don't have a heart and I refuse to turn yours over to him! I care for you, but I can never let it go beyond that. I refuse to condemn your soul to this sick existence. I can't offer you anything more than pain and eternal torture!"

The knowledge that my choice is causing his haunted eyes to fill with such unendurable sorrow constricts my heart like a vice. Desperate to relieve his agony, I can only think of one thing to offer him relief from his torment. "Andrew I'm not seeking anything more than your friendship. It brings me such comfort and peace." Hoping my features do not betray my words, revealing that I could never let anyone else into my heart, I carefully continue. "I am just beginning to find myself and can't even imagine committing myself to anyone right now, so your concern about denying me a future is quite premature."

I'm relieved as he relaxes. Draping his arm over the couch, he tells about an interesting case he is working on. I feel a tug and the next thing I know, I am sitting on shore overlooking a beach as we enjoy a twilight picnic. The sun is sinking toward the horizon as his arms wrap around my overheated body. Staring out over the ocean, the beach appears almost holographic and Andrew is now sitting across from me. As my face lifts toward the sinking sun, I do not feel its rays warming me. Our surroundings have a surreal quality. Glancing back to him, for the briefest of moments, he appears almost transparent wrapped in a golden glow. Looking down at my hand, it appears semi-transparent too. I return my gaze to his sparking, dancing eyes. Shifting up on my knees, I glide my fingertips along his jaw line, down his neck toward a soft smattering of chest hair; my hand melds into his skin as if we are one. Desire unfurls within me as his hands skim over my shoulders, up my neck, cupping my face. His face moves slowly toward mine. I feel his warmth even before his lips are upon mine. Kissing me as he lowers my back toward the sand, I do not feel the course grains. The beach has disappeared. We are surrounded by white haze. He hovers over me almost as if he is floating. I feel him, but not his weight as his lips caress my neck with soft, sweet kisses. I pull him down upon me.

"Good morning sleepy head. It's six a.m." I awake startled and flushed, the tingling sensation still lingering on my neck. My eyes meet his. Despite his friendly greeting, he looks distracted, his eyes unfocused. I wonder if it is because he stayed with me again last night.

Before I can consider this further, I realize what time he told me and jump up. "Oh no, I'm late! I didn't mean to fall asleep and keep you here. I'm sorry."

"Actually, it was quite enjoyable watching you have a peaceful sleep instead of the disturbed one I foisted upon you the other evening." I catch an indiscernible emotion behind his stiff smile. His eyes crinkle, he looks worried and his voice trails off. "You looked quite content all night. Was there anything special you were dreaming?"

My cheeks turn crimson and I stretch my neck, trying to dispel the tingles I still feel from his caress. "I think it was just being close to a good friend. I hope you weren't too uncomfortable."

He hesitates as if weighing what to say, but then settles on humor. "You can use me as your human pillow any time."

Trying to keep our encounter light, I tease. "You do double very nicely as a pillow. Last night was the best sleep I've had in as long as I can remember."

Reaching the door, he turns. "I'll tell your tyrant boss that I made you late. Dress warm, it's still icy out."

As he leaves, the image of our kiss flashes before me, strangely feeling like a long forgotten memory, more so than a dream.

# Chapter Eleven –Holiday Games

Entering the building, I am struck by the decorations and smell of nutmeg. Marcus calls out. "Come join us." They are all gathered around the fire with an extra heavy screen probably to hide the flames form Teri.

"I'll be down in a moment." In my office there is a small bouquet with a note. Wishing you additional nights of contented dreams- Happy Thanksgiving Andrew

Eva's voice startles me. "From anyone I know?" She giggles, and then looks serious. "Can you forgive me for bringing you here?"

"I am grateful that you allowed me to come to this wonderful place." She looks confused. "Eva, can I see your triangle?"

Removing it from underneath her blouse, it holds two salmon colored illuminations and one ruby. I feel such sympathy knowing that she now holds not only her life, but Jackson's eternity.

"He really did tell you everything?" She sounds surprised.

"Eva what made you decide to..."I struggle searching for words not to offend.

"I think you're afraid to utter take Jackson's life." I stutter. "I..." Taking mercy upon me, she continues. "I fought against it, but he was tenacious. He returned armed with information declaring he belonged with me despite what it could cost him. He still won't enlighten me as to how he found out, but I think Nicholas told him. Although I regret falling in love with him because I've put him at risk, I couldn't stop myself. He is amazing. He is my sun, my moon, my everything! He returned so sure of his path. My feelings overtook me and in that moment bound him to me. I just hope that since our mates truly have no blood ties to the underworld, grace will be granted to them no matter what our fate holds."

Unconsciously, I voice my hidden desire. "Do you think that your brother will ever give in to me?"

Her face turns serious. "Mia, that's not why I brought you here," Grabbing my wrists, "I knew he missed you, but he says that you are one of the brightest souls he has ever seen. He will not ensnare you in our ill-fated existence. It would destroy him! He will leave or send you away to keep you safe."

Not wanting her to dwell on my revelation, I try distracting her. "Are you going to join them downstairs?"

"Maybe later" She glances at her messages.

Heading downstairs, I receive a text. Meet me in the greenhouse. Andrew. Wishing the patients a Happy Thanksgiving, I practically fly to the greenhouse. Andrew's voice beckons me to the back where there's a small picnic. "I thought we could spend some time together."

Taking my hand to help me sit, his touch does not send tingles down my spine nor does it feel like holding a snowball. Concentrating, I see Nicholas. I don't want to make him suspicious. Maybe he'll reveal what he's up to. As he hands me some cider, a thrill of fear brings tingles to my spine. What if he poisoned it? After a moment, I remember how he wants to hand me over and hope that he meant alive. I take a small sip.

"Is everything alright, you seem nervous?"

I shake my head. "I had too much coffee."

Picking up a sugar snap pea, he holds it to my lips. "They're quite good" His eyes shift behind him. As I nibble, he talks to me about my family and wonders if being up here has allowed me to get a better perspective about them and myself. A nervous giggle escapes my lips, if he only knew the perspective I have at this moment, he wouldn't be sitting here.

I watch his expression change from calculating, to genuinely interested, and then frustrated as he seems to concentrate on my desire to mend fences. To my surprise he is easy to talk to. His belief that sometimes forces foist a fate upon us, even an ill-fate to achieve a goal beyond our comprehension seems to be the driving force behind his game.

After rounds I head to dinner. Jackson approaches me with an apron and platter of buns. "Would you like to help?"

"Absolutely" Tying the strings behind me, I feel a cold set of hands.

"Let me." My overheated skin tells me exactly who it is. Jackson winks and hands me the buns.

Turning, a boyish grin greets me. "Let me take that." Placing my hand playfully on his chest, my heart pounds erratically. "You grab a heavy turkey platter, you've been here longer." He laughs.

After dinner, I volunteer for the cleanup crew with Jackson while Eva and Andrew settled patients.

"Your contentment suits you."

"What?"

"It is easy to read your face when you are with him, but Mia I know that Eva struggles every day with what she thinks she did to me, I cannot seem to convince her that it is what I chose for myself. Just be careful..."

"What does she need to be careful of?" Andrew asks entering.

Jackson laughs. "She's considering taking some cake and you know how calories sneak up on you." He chuckles.

"I've gained weight already." I pat my stomach.

Lost in the moment, Andrew tickles my side. "I think I feel a pound here...not. Jackson, wrap her up whatever she wants and I'll take it back."

Returning, I shoot an email to my mother.

"I'm glad you're writing her."

"You're right this place gives you a different perspective on people."

"When did I say that?"

Oh no, I slipped! "I derived that from our talks."

She replies and he rises. "I should go."

Taking his hand, "Wait, I wanted to thank you for the flowers and I would love for you to stay. Last night it was nice to be next to a friend." He appears deep in contemplation and even worrisome. When I was around Gabriel, was I thinking of last night? Could he have told him? Before I can consider this, my email pings and he sits, reading over my shoulder.

I smile learning Katrina and David are expecting. Hesitantly, I lay my head against his shoulder. "Thank you for staying with me."

"My pleasure, but don't you think your bed would be more comfortable?" Despite his teasing, I can sense his increasing tension.

"I feel very comfortable with you. It reminds me of when I would cuddle up to my music box and fall asleep." He laughs and places his arms around me.

Over the next few weeks, a strange game of cat and mouse develops with Nicholas and to my surprise a comfortable routine develops with Andrew.

Four days before Christmas, while in the greenhouse, I'm reading my mother's email, asking me to meet them in New York for New Year's. Nicholas enters and is reading over my shoulder. Turning, his face is distorted and he appears to be struggling, his eyes darting around. I'm surprised to find myself concerned for him. My hand touches his, its scorching. I recoil, my hand feeling burned. Looking up, I catch his tortured features before he's gone.

He returns moments later, defeat in his eyes. "I'm sorry for my strange behavior. It has been a long day." His tone is resigned.

"Can I help?" I inquire truly concerned.

"I'm fine. I saw your mother invited you for New Years. You seem to be reconnecting."

"We have, this is the first time I have felt close to her."

"You should go. I'm sure Eva could spare you." His words are strained, as if he is being strangled. His anguish is strange to see. He always seemed sure of his charade.

Intrigued by the thought of putting our complicated relationship to rest, I nod. "Maybe I will ask Eva." His features turn somber, dejected and I'm bemused, since it was his suggestion.

Speaking with Eva, she can spare me but expresses concern about my driving in the bad weather. I leave thinking she is concerned about much more.

Changing, I leave the door unlocked for Andrew who is there when I came out, holding my music box, running his fingers over the carved wooden encasement. "Eva tells me you are going to see your family." He sounds concerned.

"I'm hoping to mend some fences. I'll only be gone a few days. Eva said she didn't mind." Secretly hoping he doesn't want me to go, I mutter. "If you think it's a problem for her, I won't go."

His torn expression gives me hope. He sighs. "The thought of you traveling over the treacherous roads concerns me."

I should have known, I chide myself. "I thought I'd fly, the airstrip is only two hours away."

"That's a good idea, but the roads to get there are solitary and can be dangerous." His arctic hand moves slowly under my chin lifting my face so that our eyes meet and my pulse races. "Would you mind if a friend accompanies you to make sure that you got there and back safely."

Fearing I may say something wrong, I reply cautiously. "Don't you have responsibilities here?"

"It's only a few days and you need to see your mother." His smile is endearing, but his tone seems to hold secret motive.

He distracts me by handing me the music box. "This seems to mean a lot to you."

"It does, I spent many a difficult night, letting the music calm me so I could sleep."

"May I?" He holds out his hand. Opening the top, he holds out his hand. "Shall we?" His hand snakes around my waist. My head spins. I can't believe this heavenly creature is holding me.

As we dance, his features change from serene to concern and he leads me back to the couch. "You should email your mother."

Arriving with Andrew will be complicated. My father frowns on unmarried couples traveling together. My desire not to be separated from him wins out. _Mom I'm coming for New Year's and to mend our broken relationship. I'm bringing Andrew St. Cloud. He works here and has business there. The roads are slick so we decided to travel together. I will let you know the day and the hotel._

"You're not staying with your family?" He inquires dubiously.

"I don't want to push my family."

I can't sleep. Andrew opens the music box and I finally drift, dreaming that we are already in New York, at a piano bar. Looking at him, his eyes are serene before he begins singing in my ear. As the song ends, he whispers, "I can love you now, we know the secret." He kisses me softly. "Marry me. I love you!"

My arms fly around him as tears overflow. "I love you too and always have."

His cool hands wiping my tears cause my eyes to flutter open. He's concerned. "Are you alright?"

I blush. Despite my real tears, my body registers no tingling, it didn't feel like the last time, and he doesn't appear distracted. "It was just a dream." His shirt is tear stained. "Oh no, your shirt"

"It's nothing."

"Sitting in a damp shirt is uncomfortable. I would always wake with my collars soaked. Let me run the blow dryer over it."

"Mia, don't worry." I flex my outstretched hand. With trepidation he unbuttons his shirt, peels it over his shoulders and hands it to me. My eyes move up his muscular arms to his shoulders and down to his broad chest to his sculpted abdomen. His statuesque physique stuns my mind and my body becomes electrified. Heated blood courses through me like a wildfire. I need to tear my eyes away before my thoughts are revealed, but it is too late. He clears his throat, finally breaking my trance and I'm relieved to see him stifling a smile.

Returning, I try to keep my eyes down and become embarrassed as he catches me glancing up.

"Are you hungry?" He asks amused.

"No, but I am curious about something."

"Come sit and tell me what has you curious."

"Well..." Feeling it may be rude to ask, I stop.

"You can ask me anything. I think I have dropped our most shocking secrets on you."

"It's just that I never see you eat. Do you need to eat?"

He hesitates. "We don't eat per se." His eyes shine wickedly and his tone becomes low, menacing. "Do you remember all the horror movies where a vampire would lure a pretty girl away from her friends and then bite her neck in some ally or bedroom where no one could hear her scream?" He slowly leans forward, cocking his head to the side. My eyes grow wider with each word. I lean back from his advance as my pulse races out of control. "Well ..." His lips part slightly revealing his pearly teeth. "We get ours from a local blood bank and mix it with synthetic blood." He bursts out laughing.

Breathless, I hit him with a pillow I find myself clutching. "You're terrible!"

"It was worth it just to see your terrified face. Really Mia, what were you thinking?" He is quite amused with himself.

"I really don't know."

"Admit it. You thought I was going to bite you." He lets out another boisterous laugh. I laugh with him. "We had better get to work." He sounds carefree.

"Will I see you later?"

"I have to do something away from Sanctuary today. If I don't make it back, I will see you in the morning."

"Can I leave the door unlocked or would you feel uncomfortable?"

"That sounds nice." He kisses the top of my head before leaving.

# Chapter Twelve – The Holidays

At lunch, I go to the nursery to pick vegetables. Nicholas is waiting. He seems unhappy when I tell him I'm going to New York. I don't mention Andrew is coming. "Mia, do me a favor." His face appears frightened.

"Sure. What?"

"When you're with your family be careful!" His voice is almost inaudible, he sounds like he's chocking.

He's struggling with something. I move to hold his hand. It's hot, nothing like the others' cool touch. "Are you alright? Let me help you!" I want to help. I don't like seeing him tortured and wonder if it is because I fear that whatever torture he is experiencing now is what will come for Andrew if he fails.

"I have to leave!" He's gone instantly.

I bring the vegetables to Gabriel whose expression appears grave. "Mia, you are playing a dangerous game and you are both going to lose!" Thinking he knows I'm hoping Andrew will fall in love with me before realizing it, I am about to beg him not to interfere. "Nicholas has been around and can be more deceptive than you know." My eyes shoot up to his. "I can't get a read on what he is up to because I'm being blocked. If he breaks the truce..."

I interrupt. "How did you know?"

"I've known since Thanksgiving. I've been hiding in the greenhouse too. Why you are playing games with him? When did you figure out it was Nicholas?"

"I knew right away."

"How could you see him? No one has ever been able to see through Jonathan's distortions! What does he want from you?"

"I was hoping you could tell me because his behavior lately is very strange."

"What do you mean?"

"He seems to be struggling, telling me to be careful and his touch has become burning!"

"Mia, if he is warning you take it to heart. We need to tell Andrew" His tone concerned.

"No!" I panic. "It could be dangerous if they start fighting. I won't be the cause for the truce being broken!" I begin hyperventilating.

"Calm down, it's alright." He tries to sound comforting.

"Promise me!" I beg between gasps.

"Mia, you need to stay away from him." His voice is stern.

"I can't, if he is up to something that can hurt you, I need to help."

He features turn furious, his tone angry. "This is not a game and you are not equipped to go up against him or anyone involved in this. If you won't back out of this for your own safety, do it for Andrew's sanity! I know what it's like to lose someone! If it wasn't for Andrew, I would already be serving Satan instead of trapped within the hell of my own mind." The pain ripping through his features rages deeper than any fault line.

"Gabriel, I can't walk away. I won't risk him warring with Nicholas, but I will promise to tell you everything." I'm begging my hands outstretched in supplication.

He sighs. "You can't leave anything out. I wish you would tell Andrew, but I'll tell Jackson and Catherine so we can keep an eye on you. Help me with dinner, Andrew isn't back yet."

Sleep will not find me. I'm too used to being next to Andrew. Hours later, I hear the door open, feel cold hands lift my shoulders gingerly. His index finger glides across my cheek as softly as fluttering butterfly wings and I hear him sigh before drifting to sleep.

Waking Christmas Eve morning in the arms of the most perfect man on this plane or any other, I feel content. "How was your trip?"

"I got everything accomplished." He replies mischievously.

"Where did you go?"

"I have to have some secrets." He teases. His lighthearted mood transforms his features. He appears young and even more beautiful.

I fight my desire to wrap my arms around him, not wanting his carefree mood to dissipate. "You are extremely playful this morning."

He kisses my forehead. "I have plans to attend to so you will have to go to work wondering." He winks and shuts the door.

All of the patients seem excited. William is overjoyed, he's completed the portrait.

Jackson accompanies me to the nursery, his face serious. "Gabriel told me that Nicholas was acting strange. He left for a while and when he returned was extremely agitated. Mia, you should stay away from him" The warning clear in his tone. "I don't know what he will do if he learns you see through his charade. Trust me. No good can come of this. Any knowledge you think you can gain, he will never let you live to tell! You have to tell Andrew." He pleads.

"I can't! They'll start fighting again."

Nicholas must have heard Jackson's voice because he storms past us. We collect everything and spend the rest of the day cooking. I can't help but laugh.

What's so funny?"

"My family isn't much for cooking, but loves to eat. Here I am with people who don't eat, but prepares food is better than anything I've ever tasted." He doesn't laugh. "Jackson, I didn't mean anything."

He laughs. "I'm just playing with you." Hitting him, it's like hitting a wall. Ouch.

Eva enters looking beautiful in her holiday attire. I feel like a rag doll among porcelain hummels.

She hands me an oversized box. "You have a special dinner invitation, so go get changed."

There is a small box outside my door. It contains black lacey triangle earrings. In the other lies a folded card reading, Merry Christmas Eve, go to the greenhouse. Below is most beautiful dress I have ever seen. The underlay is a blush camisole covered with deep maroon lace flowing into a satin bottom. There is also stiletto black boots and lacy silver barrette with matching maroon rose in the center. Eva is so considerate.

Despite the beautiful dress, I leave the room convinced I could never achieve one-tenth of the beauty held by these seraphic angels nor will Andrew ever see me as more than a friendly companion. He belongs with someone accomplished and beautiful, not someone like me. I am tempted to go back and change to my jeans knowing no matter how much you dress up a duck, it will never transform into a swan, but I don't want to hurt Eva's feelings.

Arriving to a darkened greenhouse, I wonder if it's a trick. My stomach fills with nervous butterflies as my hand lay on the doorknob. A hand reaches over mine, opening the door. I jump, letting out a gasp.

"I didn't mean to frighten you." He flicks on the lights which are no longer the fluorescent, but white icicle lights shimmering from the rafters like a thousand stars.

He looks exquisite, his chiseled features glorious. The room's magnificence pales in comparison. I'm puzzled. What's this all about? Taking my hand, he leads me to a blanket with a china place setting. "I don't understand, I thought..." Before I can finish, his hands are unbuttoning my overcoat. I bite my lip to stop my rapid breathing, my body electrified by his touch.

"Are you cold?"

"No, I'm fine."

There's a spark in his glorious eyes I have never seen before. "You look absolutely breathtaking."

"Your sister gave me this dress. It would make anyone look nice."

"My sister didn't pick it out, I did, but regardless of what you wear, you always look lovely. You shouldn't diminish yourself like that. You are an extraordinary woman and the man who captures your heart will truly be blessed." He replies lovingly.

I can feel myself blush and wish I could tell him that he is that man who has imprisoned my heart, but I know that will only upset him. "I still don't understand why you did this?"

"Mia, I know I cannot allow myself to fall in love with you." My heart leaps, as I detect a "but" in his words. "I do enjoy your company. You are remarkable, funny, enthralling, even though you are not convinced of this. I am hoping, selfishly I know, that while you are finding yourself here, you will allow our friendship to continue." His hopeful look melts my heart.

"You didn't have to go through all this to tell me you want to continue our friendship. I love spending time with you, it is the first time I have felt comfortable around a man. Your friendship is important to me." I place my hand gently upon his, delighted that he will not disappear. The thought of that is unbearable.

He lifts the cover revealing the dinner I helped prepare. I laugh. "What's so funny?" He inquires, lifting some fish and feeding it to me. It is quite good.

"I've never had a man feed me something I prepared before."

"Do they usually prepare the meal? Trust me, it is better this way. Gabriel took over the cooking after I almost burnt the kitchen down." His smile tells me he is remembering something quite amusing.

"I have never had a man feed me before. I don't like dating."

"You can't be serious!" He seems surprised at my revelation.

"My sister was more of the social one. I like my books, they are less complicated." My tone sounds too aggravated and I become tense.

He stares at me mystified, scanning my face for what seems like hours, searching for the cause behind my new tone. I need to halt his inquiring eyes. "Could I have the fork?" I'd hate for the one good meal I ever made to go cold." He laughs and feeds me some potato. I relax as he asks me about medical school, but then he asks about the people I met there. I try to hide my tension as he inflects surprise that I didn't date the boys I mention, but I explain they were friends of my siblings.

I don't know if there was something in my answers or my features, but he pushes further. "Mia, you're hedging. You are a beautiful woman. You don't have to be ashamed about dating. I am just wondering the type of person you find interesting." His stare becomes intense. "What about that young man, Anderson, didn't he ever do anything like this for you?"

My jaw inadvertently snaps tight. I don't know how he knows about him, but I wish he didn't. This conversation is going in a direction, I cannot go.

His features turn concerned as his voice drops. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just that you had written Eva and things seemed to be going well. Then all of a sudden, you stopped talking about him and the tone of your emails became very distant, disconcerting. When we checked on you, you were withdrawn, maybe even afraid to let anyone come near you. After that, we began watching more closely. Would you mind my asking what happened between you?"

Wishing he hadn't known about my life, I need to diffuse his curiosity without opening up a wound which took me years to suture up enough to be able to even be around men without throwing up. Feeling the stitches tear, I wince internally, trying to force my body not to betray me by showing signs of the event which I refused to share with anyone for fear my family would have thought it my fault.

How can I tell him, the only man whose touch I do not repel, the only man I desire, whose compassion overwhelms my mind and imprisons my heart about something I fought so hard to bury? His eyes grow darker, raging with curiosity as the silence becomes deafening.

Trying to re-lock the draw holding such dark thoughts, I inhale deeply hoping for an impassive response. "You have quite a memory. We did date, for a while." I can feel the bile rising in my throat. Forcing it down, I try to keep my voice level, but it's not quite right. "It was more of a group thing, but then when it became one on one, I found that he was not a nice person." To my dismay, my body shudders. I cannot look at him, but feel his stare as tension mounts, both his and mine. I hear him take in a deep breath. His fingertips gently glide from my temple to my cheek before he cups and lifts my chin forcing my eyes to meet his. "I'm so sorry, he hurt you. Please tell me you spoke to someone." His voice is strained, but filled with compassion.

"Andrew, please it was a long time ago. I got..." My voice cracks. "I moved on and can't revisit it. Please we need to change the subject!" I plead.

Both his hands now cup my face, holding my eyes to his. "Can I say one thing and then I won't push it."

"Fine" My tone is harsh.

"It. Was. Not. Your. Fault." He says forcefully. "If you ever do want to talk, I am here for you." His voice softens, but there is an edge to it and his body tenses.

This is too much. I fidget and rise to leave. He grabs my hand; closes his eyes and when they open, they are calmer. He moves to a lighter topic.

He has not released my hand, his thumb rubbing gentle circles in my palm. I feel safe. As we continue talking, I stare into his glorious eyes. I am rewarded, ever so briefly as his austere features slip and his eyes become dark, desirous, coveting. I can't believe that this perfect man could desire me. Maybe for him love will come softly and grow slowly springing up over time like a seedling plant.

At midnight, he cleans up and beckons me to a bench.

As I sit, the tip of his cool nose brushes my ear. "Merry Christmas, I have something for you." He places a small wrapped box in my palm. "Open it."

"Is this why you left?"

He smiles.

Inside there's a lace box with a sterling rose adorning the center. "It's lovely." I trace the petals.

"Open it."

I do and the sweetest song begins to play. I have heard the softest voice singing it to me in dreams on my darkest days, calming me, keeping me company. Lying on top is an elliptical sphere with a beautiful, bright topaz stone in the middle of intertwining gold lace. The stone reminds me of his glorious eyes. "It's beautiful."

His long fingers open the face revealing a combination watch and locket. "It's too much. The music box is too much, you shouldn't have."

His endearing eyes glisten. "It's to thank you for gracing my life with this time of peaceful memories." As he places the necklace on me, his hands glide over my shoulders, down my arms, electrifying every nerve cell in my body, unfurling a desire I have never experienced. His breathing becomes jagged just before he intertwines our fingers and backs away from the bench, taking me with him. "Shall we?" We begin dancing to the music box, but as he twirls me through the greenhouse, the music springs up all around us. My heart stops as he pulls me closer. His lips tickle my ear as he sings the lyrics softly. His melodious voice is as soft as wind chimes. He sounds just like the singer in my memories. I am beguiled. Tears escape my eyes. I bury my face in his chest hoping his shirt is drip dry.

As the music winds down, he whirls me toward the bench, but does not let me go. Instead, he cradles me in his arms. "It wasn't meant to make you cry. I wanted to show you how special you are and how wonderful spending time with you is. Mia, I can't even describe what I feel when I'm with you, it is beyond anything I have ever felt."

My pulse races, pushing my overheated blood throughout my system, I'm flush. I can't believe he cares for me and that it is only his fear of what could happen that forces him into self-delusion. I need to treat him like a sleep-walker making sure I do nothing to abruptly wake him. Otherwise, it could be disastrous. I murmur softly. "Thank you for tonight. No friend has ever done anything like this for me."

His arctic hand moves gently under my chin, "Do you always cry when someone does something nice for you?"

"The tears came because of how touched I am that you went to this trouble." I pull out a box from my purse and hand it to him. "Merry Christmas, I hope you like it."

He unwraps it carefully. His face lights up. "Mia, it's magnificent." His glorious smile takes my breath away. The music box is similar to the one he admires on my table. Slowly, he lifts the lid before embracing me. "We danced to yours, we should break in mine. My shirt is drip dry." He laughs.

When the music ends, he looks at his watch. "I better get you back or you won't get any sleep at all." It's snowing again. I stumble on the slippery surface. Andrew lifts me into his strong arms, pulling me tightly toward his chest and carries me to the residency as I fight to maintain level breathing and fail miserably. The only comforting thought is he is breathing rapidly too.

Inside he releases me, kisses my forehead quickly and puts distance between us. I can see desire in his eyes and concern in his features. "You should get changed into something warm and I'll go do the same."

"You'll come back right?" I can hear my desire and want to dispel it. "I'm not sure I can sleep without my rock of Gibraltar." I laugh and thankfully so does he.

"You are absolutely right because everyone knows sleeping on Stonehenge is much more comfortable than sleeping on a nice comfy mattress. You're absurd Mia." He chortles. "I'll be right back."

When I come out, he's sporting a cup of tea. "I thought it could warm you before curling up to your own personal iceberg." His tone is amused, but his features hold a forbidden emotion.

"I see we haven't lost our strange sense of humor." I drink my tea and nestle into his chest, closing my eyes. I feel his muscles flex and notice he is murmuring something to himself too low for me to hear. I feel a strange pull as if I'm being led somewhere, see a quick flash of mist around me, but I haven't moved. His murmuring becomes quicker, the pull is gone and I drift into darkness.

Over the next few days, we wrap up loose ends.

Waking on the thirtieth, I dress quickly. Crossing the parking lot, I can't help marvel at the perfection of Andrew's inner and outer beauty. He leads me to his black SUV. As the engine roars, my stomach fills with butterflies, wondering how my family will react seeing me with this heavenly creature. What if they jump to the wrong conclusion? I correct myself, the conclusion I wish for. Will he disappear? Panic pierces my heart. Looking out the window, hoping to calm myself, I see Sanctuary's gates close in the side view mirror, and my anxiety increases wondering if they are closing on my future as well.

As we enter the highway, Andrew takes my hand, interrupting my introspection. "What has you so nervous?" His voice is laced with concern.

I reply without thinking. "I'm worried that if my family jumps to the wrong conclusion about us, it will drive you off. Jackson warned me you would leave if you thought we were getting too close." As reason returns, I freeze.

"Don't worry about what others think." His voice is unconcerned. "We know the truth and that's all that matters."

Shifting my eyes so he doesn't see my disappointment that I cannot be enough to change his mind the way Jackson changed Eva's, I'm not fast enough.

"Mia, you are an amazing woman with so much to share. I would give anything if I could be the person..." He pauses. Glancing sideways, I catch a longing in his features, before his face turns impassive. "I can't even describe how being with you helps me escape the bonds of the vile creature I am, but I can never afford to forget what it will cost you if I let our relationship go too far. I won't cause you that kind of loss!" He looks tortured. His voice becomes thoughtful. "I'm just grateful for the time we can share, but if it ever gets too strange for you, you have to tell me. When you are ready to find someone to share your life with, I will be the first to wish you well." Despite his words, I detect his sadness.

I struggle to find the words to tell him I'm not going while not revealing I could never leave him. "I love spending time with you without the pressure to be someone I'm not. I need time to figure out who I am and who I want to become. It's nice to spend time with someone who doesn't want to change me so I hope you don't mind if I stay for a long time."

His profile relaxes. "I'm glad to share this journey with you." He tries to repress a smile and fails, his face lighting up.

"What brought about that smile?" I ask hopeful.

"I'm happy. I can't tell you how much being with you means to me. I'm grateful that I don't have to give you up yet. I know that it's selfish and I should feel ashamed but..." He smiles triumphantly.

Thrilled that for a moment his walls fall to make this unfinished affirmation, I suddenly feel bold. "I think we should enjoy this time without feeling guilty because our being together is not wrong, I know it. Being with you is the first time I have felt safe with a man and I want to manipulate your time for as long as I don't bore you." I laugh trying to sound light so as not to push him too far.

"Since you could never bore me, you'll never go." He laughs and lifts my hand to his lips.

We ride in silence each lost in our own contemplation.

When my raging heart finally calms, "Can I ask you something, if I'm not prying too much?"

"Go ahead. I don't have any more earth shattering secrets."

"When you were transformed, did you leave anyone behind?"

"Are you asking if I have ever been in love?" He teases but does not answer immediately. I fear I brought back a painful memory. His features become distant. "We lived a solitary life. My parents feared our secret being revealed. As we grew older, I would go to the marketplace because I could carry the heaviest load and we were less conspicuous traveling alone. At the time, factions were fighting over territory, land and rights to licenses. One day, the knights were fighting. We were hiding, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of their clanging swords. I saw a young woman hiding beneath her cart, a soldier dragged her out by her hair" His voice turns livid. "The look of fear in her eyes compelled me from my hiding place. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Picking up a wooden plank, I hit him. He fell upon her! She screamed and another soldier took notice, spearing me in the leg. He didn't see my face. I hit him, grabbed her hand and ran. We hid in a barn overnight. Over the next few months, we spent time together whenever I went to the market. Your compassion reminds me of her. She always strived to help. I planned on meeting her brother and introducing her to my family, but that was the day we got caught and our lives changed in the blink of an eye. I could never return to her for fear of how frightened she would be of me or what could happen to her if she had accepted me. I don't know where we would have gone if our opportunity was not ripped away the day I became a grandchild of Satan!"

The thought of love being ripped from him, depresses me. Bringing his hand to my lips, I kiss it gently. My voice is barely a whisper. I'm sorry that you..."

He interrupts me, his voice is calm now. "It was long ago and now I am blessed to share this time with you."

"What about after you changed, were you tempted to fall in love by the beautiful creatures which I'm sure crossed your path and discovered what a wonderful, considerate man you are."

He laughs. "Most people would see me as dark, brooding and married to my work." I don't recognize the man he is describing and that I secretly love. "Knowing what will happen to those my siblings' love I became determined never to do that to anyone."

"You blame your siblings for falling in love?" I retort reproachful.

He is instantly contrite. "I don't blame them at all! In fact, I understand them much better now." He frowns. "We have been alone for so long, fighting, living a life that none of us could have ever conjured up and searching for answers beyond our reach. The others are more hopeful, at least for their mates, but I pray that the guardians ensure that I never fall in love!" He shakes his head as if trying to dispel some dark thought.

I feel as if someone is laying cinder blocks upon my chest, one for each day he hoped for solitude so that he won't hurt anyone. I can't breathe under the crushing weight of his words. I close my eyes and offer a silent pray that this glorious creature, who fails to realize how worthy of love he is, will one day welcome love regardless of what else fate has destined for him and regardless of whether or not the one he loves is me. Tears fill my lids. I turn to the window hoping he will not see, but he gently brushes away an escaped tear.

"Mia, please don't waste your tears on me. Truly, I have made my peace and feel very blessed to help others find contentment before leaving this world."

I turn to him. "You don't deserve to be alone, someone as wonderful as you shouldn't deny yourself love!"

His cool hand gently grasps my shoulder, pulling me towards him. "I'm not lonely. I have my family, work and now my friendship with you, so don't weep for someone who is blessed."

We spend the remaining ride in silence.

#  Chapter Thirteen – Arriving To Shocking Revelations

Arriving in New York, he looks shyly at me as the taxi pulls before an apartment building. "We have a place here from when Gabriel worked at the hospital." His voice trails off. "I thought you might enjoy staying here instead."

I like the idea of a less constricting refuge. "Thank you."

Entering the lobby, Andrew is greeted by a man sitting behind the desk. He introduces me and then slips Harry some large bills. I hear him whisper as I enter the elevator. "Thank you for handling the favor I asked."

His penthouse is decorated similar to the rooms in sanctuary. Walking toward the window to view the skyline, I see the silhouette of his perfect physique approaching me, igniting my blood and jumpstarting my heart.

He stands directly behind me. I see his hands raise and then feel them retreat and drop. His seraphic face reflected in the glass reveals his longing. Staring into the depths of his sky eyes, I feel his nose gently glide up the side of my neck until he is nuzzling my ear, running soft kisses at the base of my neck as his arms enfold me. My heart is racing out of control and I am about to turn into his embrace. His soft utterance causes my eyes to shift from his. "Enjoying the view?" I am stunned, his reflection remains stalk still behind me with his arms still dropped at his side, yet the back of my neck tingles and my upper arms even now feel cooler.

I feel unsettled, my imagination is not that good and it felt too real. Turning, as my eyes meet his he appears disconcerted. Does he know? I tear my eyes from his and murmur. "It's amazing. May I look around?"

He visibly relaxes as I put space between us. "Please."

I feel his eyes follow me. Returning to the main room, "You have a beautiful place here."

He is behind the breakfast bar. "Catherine purchased it. You must be hungry; sit and I'll make you something" His features sly. He shuffles pans and then removes something from the stove. "I hope you like this impromptu delicacy." He grins as he lifts the lid revealing a small filet with all the trimmings.

"How did you..."

He laughs. "Harry, he also stocked the refrigerator."

"Is there anything you don't consider?"

"Eat. What time are we meeting your family or would you prefer to do that alone?" He inquires thoughtfully.

"No, please come!" I feel anxious. "I could use a friend. My mother seems alright and my sister is preoccupied, but I haven't spoken to my father or brother since leaving. However, if you would be uncomfortable, I understand. You have already done so much for me."

He places his hand on my shoulder, his arctic touch causes me to shiver, but not from the cold, but desire. "I'm happy to go. I just didn't want to intrude. I will always be around when you need me."

Dressing to leave, I tuck my watch in my sweater, nestling it close to my heart. Entering the cab, Andrew's sky blue eyes look even brighter as he gazes upon me. "You look lovely."

"You look handsome yourself." I reply shyly. I cannot believe this glorious man is going out of his way for someone like me. Knowing what happiness he brings me, makes me sad for him, his failing to find freedom has to be an impossibility.

The butterflies in my stomach flutter wildly as my uncle's apartment comes into view. Andrew uncharacteristically embraces me tightly, his lips at my ear. "Relax, they love you." His voice is barely audible over the hyperactive palpitations of my heart.

Stretching, I kiss his chiseled cheek, my lips lingering. I'm surprised he doesn't pull away. "If you are trying to stop my panic attack, you have. Thank you."

He gently caresses my hand as we walk to the door. Raising my hand to knock, I become nervous. What if they say something to change his opinion of me? I turn. "Can I ask you a favor?" My voice quivers.

"Anything" His eyes turn concerned.

"Please don't leave my side tonight. Don't let what they say change your opinion of me. I am a different person now." Moisture fills my eyes.

Practically lifting me, we move to the stairwell. "Mia, there is nothing anyone could say to make me think badly of you." His fingertips brush my jaw line until my chin rests in his palm. He lifts my face so our eyes meet. "I knew you were special the first time I set my eagle eyes upon you." He smiles. "I won't leave your side. Stop putting unnecessary pressure upon yourself. You are and extraordinary, compassionate woman and anyone who can't see that is the one with the problem." He encircles me in his arms, my head rests against his statuesque chest. "Are you ready?"

"Yes, thank you."

We return and he knocks.

My uncle greets us. "Mia, it's been too long." He hugs me, but his features turn confused at he glances at Andrew and I know he cannot understand what someone like Andrew is doing with me.

Andrew extends his now gloved hand. "Mr. Stanford, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"My sister has spoken highly of you since finding out you were accompanying Mia."

My mother unexpectedly hugs me. "I'm so glad you didn't change your mind." I'm stunned. My mother isn't usually affectionate. She turns to Andrew. "It's good to see you again." She hugs him and whispers. "Thank you for ensuring she came." A look passes between them that I don't understand.

The door opens, David and Katrina enter. She smiles at me. "You look radiant. How do you feel?"

"Very blessed, it was touch and go for a while, now everything is good." She rubs her stomach. "Oh."

She allows me to feel the movement and I'm thrilled. "I'm so happy for you!" I hug her then David. "Congratulations dad!"

"I'm sorry, we are being rude. I'm Katrina and this is my husband, David." They shake Andrew's hand.

"Congratulations on your miracle."

Katrina whispers to me. "Is he why your emails seem so calm and happy?" She leans closer. "Is he why you look radiant?"

I peer between her hair at him, but his features reveal nothing. I distract her. "So do you know if it's a boy or girl?"

"We're having a boy." She replies as David say a girl.

"You may want to get together on this." It feels good to laugh talking with her.

"We're having twins." She smiles.

An authoritative knock that can only be my father causes a tidal wave of anxiety to crash over me. Andrew moves closer, gently brushing the back of my hand with his. My father greets everyone cordially then turns to me. "Is he the newest reason you refused to come back and threw away your calling?" He shoots an accusatorial glance at Andrew.

Before I respond, my mother grasps his hand. "You promised not to do this Lawrence."

"Ann, you know she is giving up again. Isn't it enough to be losing one involuntarily already? What is she throwing it away for – him, that place or just to hide. I need to know!" His voice exudes frustration.

"Then address me directly" I snap angrily, fighting aggravated tears.

"Explain to me how you talk of practicing medicine there. Tell me, how many patients have you cured or do you just play house with him?" Sarcasm radiates from his every pore.

I want to scream, but the worried look on my mother and sister stop me. "Dad, I didn't run away and I'm not playing house! Practicing your type of medicine didn't work for me, but I can help people now."

His eyes turn furious. "Oh yes, I remember how you helped that boy in Minnesota who jumped!"

The image flashes through my mind and I roar. "Maybe if everyone didn't write me off, he would be alive!"

Stephan steps in. "Are you getting into that again, Mia?" He moves next to my father. My mother holds her head, sitting with Katrina.

"Mia, we are losing too many good doctors." He glances toward the couch. He couldn't be blaming Katrina for becoming pregnant. She won't stay away from the practice for long. Before I can dwell, his voice turns compelling. "We need physicians to find real cures and save lives, not hold someone's hand and give them a drug to numb their minds because they can't deal with their emotional dilemmas before sending them to bed."

"Dad, I do want to save lives, just not in the way you think is the only way." He opens his mouth to start again, but I raise my hand and turn to my mother. "I love you, but this is a mistake. I'm done fighting and making everyone uncomfortable." I gaze at my father. "I don't want to fight. We will never agree, but look at the toll this is taking on mom and Katrina. Stay angry, but this conversation is over." Grabbing my coat, I storm out as my mother springs from the couch.

In the hallway, she grabs my hand. "Mia, wait!"

"Mom, I don't want to fight." Her face is drawn, gaunt and my tears finally escape.

"Mia, your father is under a lot of stress. I need you to come inside and make peace, please." She pleads.

"Mom, maybe we could have lunch tomorrow, bring Katrina, but I can't go inside again."

She stares at me, her eyes haunted. I should have stayed away. "Mia, I know I have no right to ask, but please, you have to make peace with your father now."

"Mom, maybe I can start tomorrow with Katrina." She takes both my hands in hers as a worried look passes between her and Andrew. He nods.

"Mia, I don't have much time. It has to happen now! I'm dying and I need to bring my family together before I take my last breath."

Her words hit me like a wrecking ball. My knees buckle.

"We need to get her out of the hallway." He says and sweeps me into his arms. He follows my mother up the stairs to the rooftop and sits me down.

My mother grasps my wringing hands. "Mia, I'm sorry. This is not the way I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't let you leave. You, your sister and brother will be all your father has and I need you to get along."

My throat feels like I've been walking in the desert for days. "What happened? When did you find out?" I croak.

"I've known for months, it's an inoperable brain tumor." She glances at Andrew.

"Is there something I'm missing?"

He nods to my mother answering an unspoken question. "I know who Andrew is. He is the reason I am here right now, the reason I have more time that I hope to use wisely."

"I don't understand."

"He slowed the growth but can't cure me."

I can feel my jaw drop as I turn to him.

He strokes my cheek softly. "I wanted to help, but I don't have the power to cure her." He whispers sorrowfully.

My mother's firm voice commands my attention. "I haven't told your sister or brother. Stephan may slip and David said that the Katrina's pregnancy remains risky. Mia, you need to promise not to say anything. Do you understand?"

I nod. She hugs me. "I'm sorry we wasted so much time fighting. You know that I always loved you right?"

"Of course, I know. You were just trying to find your voice. We pushed, you pushed back and we pushed again, but Mia what we did, we did out of love. Your father loves you. He is just frustrated that he cannot cure me."

"What can I do to help?"

"I need you to give me these few days with my family. I'll speak with your father, but I don't want you to leave. Please."

"I promise anything you want" and I do mean it.

She rises. "Don't forget, not a word to your siblings."

"I promise."

When she leaves, my body slumps in the chair and I can't stop sobbing. Andrew kneels beside me, rubbing my back. "Mia, you're strong and so is she. You can do this for her, I know you can." He allows me to carry on, but then hands me a handkerchief. Encircling me in his arms, he kisses my forehead tenderly. "I know it will be difficult, but I'm here for you and will help any way I can." His voice is comforting.

The air in the room is tense. My father straightens his posture and stares at me. "We won't have any more unpleasant talk."

I sit with my mother and Katrina, glad for a happier topic. The babies are due March 23rd and they are considering the names, Vanessa or Kayla and Maxwell or Nicholas. Andrew brushes his fingers against my resting hand. His glorious touch keeps the sobs at bay. My mother looks relieved as we chat through dinner. She rises saying she needs to rest for tomorrow's big night and I learn my uncle has planned an evening of dinner and dancing.

In the taxi, with the need for pretenses gone, I fall apart. Andrew's tender embrace cannot stop the deluge of tears. I become more and more distraught. Even the taxi driver places some tissues in the cash slot. Andrew repeats the same words over and over again. "You're going to be alright, I'll help you get through this. Mia, please don't cry." Despite dealing with sorrowful families all the time, his voice is laced with anxiety and concern.

Lifting me from the taxi, he carries me into the apartment, placing me on the couch. Sitting staring out unseeing at the skyline as sobs rip from my chest, I become vaguely aware that he is on the telephone. He sits by me, taking my limp hands, staring into my red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes, searching to see how I am doing. I struggle through the tumultuous sea of despair crashing over me as I think of all the time we wasted fighting. After allowing me to carry on for minutes, hours, I'm unsure; he strokes my cheek lightly with his knuckles drawing me from my introspection. Finding my voice, "What happened when you met my mother?"

"Why don't you change? I'm sure you could use a hot shower."

When I return, he passes me some tea. The warm liquid feels good slipping down my throat.

His eyes are still concerned as he assesses me. Whatever he sees causes him to slip one hand behind my back and the other under my knees lifting me gently and moving me to his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder as he wipes the escaping tears which are finally slowing. My eyes shift up to his, still curious. "You know I met your mother helping a colleague. I saw someone waiting to take her across. One night, as we awaited results, we began talking. I asked her what she was suffering from. Shocked that I knew, she finally told me that she was suffering the side effects of an inoperable brain tumor and that it was her last case." My tears flow quicker. I didn't realize she was that far along. "I tried comforting her, talking about the legacy that she left behind. She told me how she regretted the rift between you two. She hates your solitude. She seemed desperate to bring her family together before leaving this life. The guardian watching her told me that I could help and give her some more time." He kisses my temple and whispers softly in my ear. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save her for you."

He sees my bemusement. "Mia, remember I told you our gifts can only enhance or detract. I can help advance healing, or stabilize someone, but only if the illness is capable of being healed or the body is capable of helping itself."

I vaguely recall him explaining it. "How did you help her?"

"I advanced her ability to fight the tumor's growth to slow it down and give her more time so that she could make amends with you and pass without this regret."

As he gently strokes my temple, I can feel the impending fog encroaching upon me threatening to overtake me. "Who is with her?"

Through drooping eyes, I see his tender expression. "Her mother"

Comforted, my eyes close. I sense him lifting me and walking, but I cannot open my eyes. My back sinks into the soft mattress as he cocoons me in the comforter. I feel his retreat, but I need him. I think I whisper "Please stay," but am unsure if sound escapes my lips.

I feel calmer as the bed dips and his cool lips are at my ear. "I'm right here. Try to sleep." He softly strokes my hair and I drift into an uneasy sleep.

Waking, the sky is still dark. My eyes glance up to meet Andrew's sympathetic expression. As my eyes become better focused, I catch a glimpse of something behind his compassionate eyes, a hunger and look of longing before he closes them. When he opens them again, his eyes are masked, his features revealing nothing but empathy. "How are you feeling? You should really try to get more sleep."

"I'm better. It's comforting to know that she won't be alone."

"Mia you could be there for her too." What is he talking about, is something wrong with me too? "What?" I ask anxiously.

"We can bring your mother to Sanctuary whenever she is comfortable coming ensuring you are with her when the time comes."

My tears begin again. "You would do that for me?"

He strokes my cheek. "That's what we do."

I shift myself upward, wrapping my arms around him and kissing him on his cheek. "Thank you."

"Anytime, get some more rest." He murmurs softly, hugging me to his strong chest.

"Do you mind staying?" I inquire tentatively.

"I enjoy this quite time watching you sleep. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

The next time I wake, it is gray outside with piercing pink hues. Andrew is staring at me; his face now unreadable; his lips moving in an almost undetectable manner, murmuring something inaudible. "Good morning." My voice brings him out of his introspection.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better."

He strokes my cheek. A fission of energy passes between us, igniting my desire. As I look at him, his desire mimics mine. He shakes his head and rises quickly. "Relax, I'll make some coffee."

"You don't have to wait on me."

"I like doing things for you, it makes me feel normal." He ducks out.

Throwing on my black jeans and white sweater, I head to the kitchenette. Andrew is wearing his navy cargo pants and light gray fitting sweater revealing his muscular chest and perfect physique. I fight my desire to wrap my arms around his waist and run soft kisses across the back of his strong neck. He turns.

"You look beautiful." He kisses the top of my head, passing me some coffee. "David is on his way."

"Why?" I mutter to myself.

His response surprises me. "He may want to discuss your mother, he knows."

"How?"

"Your mother wanted him prepared if she passes before the babies are born."

The cup slips from my hands, shattering. I hadn't thought of that. Andrew is at my side. "I will do all I can to prevent that. Your grandmother believes it will be alright."

Kneeling, picking up the pieces as tears flow, he takes my hand. "Try to relax before David comes. He said it's important."

Returning from washing my face, I answer the knock, meeting David's serious face. A new health situation which requires my secrecy and action is thrust upon me as David informs me Katrina's pregnancy is so risky she will be put on permanent bed rest in hopes of allowing the children to come to term and they are carefully monitoring the cord fearing it will wrap around his son's neck. David pleads with me to take the lead in my mother's care when she begins to fail fearing that my father will retreat into his own world and my brother will try to rally Katrina to care for them, risking his unborn children.

I try to relieve his obvious anxiety by assuring him that Andrew has already made arrangements for my mother to come to Sanctuary and otherwise, I will go to wherever she is, but he doesn't relax. He fidgets more.

Drawing upon the skills Eva is instilling in me to get patients to talk about their concerns, I get David to reveal that he has seen an attorney regarding the guardianship of his unborn twins. With trepidation he reveals that his parents are too old to raise twins, he fears for my father after my mother's passing and although Katrina thinks the world of Stephan, David is concerned that he has a bit of a wild side when it comes to women. This is a surprise to me, I have always found him self-possessed and driven. I sit stunned as David reveals Katrina and my mother have shared my emails with him, that he believes I have always tried to stand up for myself and others and that he thinks going to Sanctuary was the right choice for me, finally settling my life and making me happy. Yet his biggest reveal is that he has named me as guardian for his unborn twins and is seeking my consent.

I'm astounded that he even considered me and worry that this will upset Katrina, but understand that he cannot speak to her about this now. Wanting to relieve his stress, I push beyond my astonishment and assure him I'm flattered and honored. He visibly relaxes and informs me that his parents have a copy of the paperwork and the original is in his lockbox before he leaves.

# Chapter Fourteen – New York On New Year's Eve

Closing the door, I move toward the windows, once again looking out unseeing. Dazed by the whirlwind of emotions, I try to untangle my thoughts surrounding all that has happened in less than twenty-four hours. I am frightened for my mother, comforted she has her mother, shocked at David's revelation of how he feels about me and nervous about what he has done, if Katrina finds out, will there be more problems? Yes my subconscious screams at me, but this is the least of my problems. I need to figure out how to talk to my mother about what she wants, without going through my father.

Unsure of how long I stood there in my pool of tension considering what I need to do next, Andrew's cool hands massage my shoulders pulling me from my introspection. I shiver as my body tingles with desire, I want to crush myself to his chest and take refuge in his heavenly scent, but cannot compound an already confusing day. He has given me so much already and I don't want to make him uncomfortable. It's rather ironic but I consider him my personal guardian angel.

"It has been quite a trip so far." He comments solemnly. "What can I do to help?"

Leaning back into his chest, he wraps his arms around my waist and I feel solace in his embrace. I don't ever want him to let go. "You have already done so much. I'm just grateful you're here."

He maneuvers me around to face him. "You never have to worry. I will always be here, whenever you need me." His tone is reassuring as his arctic hands skim up the sides of my torso and neck until they rest on each side of my face. My heart pounds uncontrollably, heated blood courses through my veins as his face liens down toward mine. I am sure he is going to kiss me, I need him to kiss me, but as pain flickers in his eyes, his perfect lips brush the tip of my nose. "Always" He repeats his tone now somber. I feel flushed knowing that my reaction has probably embarrassed him, but looking up, his expression is indecipherable.

Closing my eyes, I concentrate on slowing my breathing. He strokes my back trying to sooth me, but instead his touch flames my desire, ignites my need. I am overcome. My overheated blood burns away all reason and my hands move swiftly from his waist to his face. Grasping his chiseled cheeks firmly, I stretch, crushing my lips to his. My desperation to cling to him catches him off guard or maybe it's his own desire. Suddenly his strong arms tighten around me, pulling me closer. I feel each sinew of his muscular arms flexing around me, his perfectly chiseled body pressed to mine, as his cool lips possess mine, my body reveling in his returning passion. I can't breathe. My pounding heart is a sonic boom in my ears. Heat courses through my veins, energizing my grip, refusing to let him go. My subconscious has been dealing with the surreal for too long. All of a sudden, I have an angel and devil on my shoulders, each arguing and screaming their own mantras. The angel boisterously repeats - You are ruining everything, let him go, now, while the devil's shouts drown her out – Keep going, he wants you. I am vaguely aware that he breaks from his mantra to validate his position. You have already ruined everything even if you stop, so you might as well get as much out of it as you can. A memory to keep you warm in your solitary desolation.

My distraction dissipates and I realize his arms are no longer holding me tight and his lips have ceased moving with mine, but still I cannot seem to tear my lips from his or loosen my embrace.

My angel knocks out its devilish counterpart and reasons returns, allowing me to peel my limbs from his and disengage my overactive lips. As my hands drop from his face, they are immediately plastered to mine, enhancing the echoes of my panting and strangling my already choked words. "I ruined everything! I'm sorry." I run to Eva's room as unbridled tears stream down my face. Slamming the door, I sink to the floor, leaning my back against its hard wooden surface. My head flops onto my upraised knees. My hands grasp my legs pulling them toward my chest. I fight to keep myself together as my world falls apart. How could I be so stupid, I ruined everything! The sobs rip mercilessly from my chest as I lament over my missed opportunity. He had just declared he would stay with me, help me through this, giving me not only comfort, but time, time for him to realize he loves me. Now, I'd be surprised if he hasn't already left his apartment and left me forever. My subconscious' internal struggle decides to become a full blown verbal chastisement. "How could you do that? You are so stupid, so ridiculous, why is it every time you remotely have a chance to straighten your life out, you do everything you can to destroy it. What is wrong with you?"

Andrew is pushing at the door, pounding anxiously, "Mia, please move away from the door."

This is it! He will never forgive me. I'm surprised he wants to confront me instead of just leaving. He is going tell me it is too dangerous. Maybe he's brazing it out to tell me that I have to leave. Sanctuary is his home, my inner voice bellows. After all of the heart wrenching revelations on this trip already, I cannot allow him to say the words. Why did I come here? I could have just stayed in Sanctuary and my out of control behavior would not have reared its ugly head so soon. I hold steadfast against the door.

"Mia, please let me come in," he pleads. I force myself to move.

He rushes to my side. I can't look into his seraphic face as he utters the words I dread. I bury my face in my knees.

His cool hand strokes my back softly, his voice tender. "Mia, I'm not upset with you. You didn't ruin anything really. I understand how overwhelmed you are with everything that life is throwing at you so quickly that you just wanted to reach out and grab a life vest to stop the waves from crashing over you and dragging you under."

Apprehensively, I lift my head trying to see his face through veiled tears. He doesn't look furious. His face is just filled with concern. "How could you be so nice to me? I'm a terrible person, I shouldn't have..."

He places his cold finger against my lips. "Stop right now! You are getting yourself worked up for nothing. I do understand. Look at all you have had to absorb in the last few hours, your mother's illness, arguing with your father, having to keep secrets and now the responsibility of agreeing to care for your mother in what will be a draining time. You turned to me for comfort, you needed to feel life coursing through you and I would give anything to be that for you, but I'm not life, I'm death and can only bring you further pain." The gentleness in his face turns to anguish and regret. "I really do wish that I could be that for you in that way." His voice sounds strangled. "I'm sorry that I can't, but I can help you through this and someday there will be someone for you whose heart pounds as quickly as yours when you kiss him and whose pulse races when you stroke his hand. I just know it. You are too special for that not to happen." His eyes shift down, but he cannot hide his sadness.

Wrenching my shaking hand from my shin, I run knuckles down his jaw line. "You are not death." My voice is scathing. "You are a caring, compassionate man who has given me so much. Before you, I wouldn't have the strength for this. The kiss was my fault! I'm sorry, I lost my head, but I don't ever want you to say that about yourself. I have never met someone as wonderful as you. You allowed me to reconcile with my mother before she dies. I know that you are the one who cured me and gave me as second chance at a life that I am only now beginning to understand is truly my calling. I was meant to..." My subconscious angel interrupts me. He didn't leave you. You may be able to repair some of the damage if you stop and think. Don't say anything that will cause him more anxiety and maybe you will still have time with him. I take a breath. I see the anxiety building in his eyes. "Andrew, I'm sure I was meant to spend time with you and your family. I'm sorry about what I did, but please don't let it change things between us, it was a momentary loss of control. You're right, I am overwhelmed, but I will try very hard to make sure it doesn't happen again!" My hands are once again gripping his face, but I hold on to reason, and am only forcing him to look at me.

His eyes turn gentle and his tone soft. "Mia, I promise I understand. I know what it is like to want to grab on to someone, to hold on to the comfort that they give to you. I have to confess that I understand that so much better now because of you and the way my selfish side desires to hold on to you that way. You are the first person in five hundred years who remotely makes me feel like the person I used to be. I love spending time with you, not only because you are the most wonderful, compassionate and interesting person I have ever met, but also because you touch something inside me that makes me feel alive, you make me feel!" With trepidation he continues. "I hope that this doesn't make you feel like I'm using you, because I'm not. I just want you to know the truth, what I'm feeling, and how wonderful of a person I think you are."

"You would never use anyone." I declare reassuringly. I'm glad that I can give you something back considering how much you have given me. I'm glad that our spending time together allows you to feel alive, that's the least I could give back since you give me a life to love."

"Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it! Come for a walk with me. Tonight is going to be stressful enough."

Although he is physically beside me, he is distracted, somber, telling me his mind is back in the apartment, contemplating the ramifications of our kiss. It's freezing, but I need to clear my head and force myself to look forward and avoid ogling him which could only lead to further trouble. Glancing sideways, my eyes lock on his and I am caught once again. I stop to watch the skaters hoping they will keep my attention.

"Do you skate?" He inquires curiously.

"I did when I was little. Why?"

His eyes are now focused and turn soft. "Shall we give it a whirl? You're a size eight right?"

"Yes but..."

"It will be fun."

As soon as my blades touch the ice, I fall. Extending his hand, he pulls me to my feet and encircles my waist. For the next hour he glides me across the ice. I can't help but laugh as he reveals he learned how to skate making a fool of himself taking Stephanie out on the lake. Getting his evens, he releases me. I skate about ten feet and fall. Reaching me, he appears worried that I may be mad.

"You know, I was just thinking how you really are an angel putting yourself out like that for Stephanie and then you do this to me." I feign irritation. He extends his hand out immediately, eyes concerned. I tug his hand hard, pulling him down. Surprised by my actions, he falls and we are laughing. My inner angel makes a brief re-appearance. See by keeping it light, you can still touch him but stay out of trouble. I'm just relieved we can still laugh together.

We return to change and I am surprised to find the dress, Andrew bought me, complete with jewelry and boots. When I come out, he is standing by the window, lost in thought. His palm rests flat against the window. He looks like a model on a billboard. I want to extend my hand out to touch him half expecting that it will pass right through him as if he is a figment of my imagination. Despite spending the last few months with him, I rise every day expecting to find that he is just a dream, one more spectacular than I have conjured up, but still an illusion.

Gently laying my hand on his outstretched arm, he returns from his distant thought, his eyes tender. "You look lovely."

My heart races, but I need to keep it light. "You've seen this dress, you bought it. Thank you for bringing it, but how did you know we were going out?"

He tenses. "Mia, I've been keeping something from you." He mutters somberly. "Your mother and I have stayed in contact since my trip." He turns and takes my hands, staring at me intently. "I have not betrayed your confidences, and I'm trying not to betray hers either. I am only telling you now because I know you're concerned with what David has asked and you feel as if you are walking through a mine field this evening, but you're not. She wants to come to Sanctuary. I'm sorry that I deceived you, but I didn't want to force this situation on you and..."

Relief washes through me. "Don't apologize. I do want her to come and understand why you kept her secret."

He does not relax, instead he continues, his voice dropping. "There's something else I need to confess to you. Ever since the Lake, I have followed your life, watched you grow. I'm the one who sent Eva. You seemed to be freefalling and I needed to help, I couldn't let the darkness grab hold of you, lose you. I'm sorry. I should have never gotten you involved in our lives. Seeing you now, I realize what a strong person you are; you would have pulled yourself out of your despair, without our intervention. Maybe if I hadn't interfered, you could be going through this with a man who could love you the way you deserve to be loved and with a family of your own to bring you comfort in this dark time. Maybe if I hadn't..."

Angst rips through his features. I realize as I raise my hand to his perfect lips that my actions this morning opened a flood gate that needs to close. "You're right. My life would be very different." My voice is stern. "My mother and I would not be speaking, she would have passed with regret and I would forever regret losing the opportunity to say goodbye." I sound angry and try to soften my words. "I'm flattered that you thought enough of me to waste your valuable time keeping tabs on me. Although how I did not see you...As far as going through this with a family of my own, I explained to you before, but maybe you don't believe me. Before coming to Sanctuary, I couldn't even stand myself, so why would I ever want to impose my messed up self on someone else and as far as now is concerned, I am not looking for my other half!" Thankfully I stopped myself before blurting out that it's because my better half is standing before me now. "You saw how messed up I was when I escaped to Sanctuary and it had nothing to do with your crossing my path or Eva entering my life. My turbulent, destructive relationship with my family was already well established. You and your family have given me the first feeling of belonging ever! No one has brought me more comfort. So you listen to me, Andrew St. Cloud," I grasp his chin and speak deliberately, "not only am I happy that you have promised to go through this ordeal with me, but I am grateful for every moment of your existence. Whether you believe it or not, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, so just deal with it!"

His features soften, but his eyes remain skeptical.

I soften my voice, resting my hand on his cheek. "Andrew, look, I know you feel you cannot enter into a conventional loving relationship because of your circumstances, and I accept that, but you need to realize that I am content just spending time with you without having to move beyond our friendship. So many times when a man and woman are friends, one of them wants more and the friendship ends. I had a friend like that once. When I couldn't return the feelings, our friendship ended at a time when I needed him most. I love having fun with you or spending the night in your arms, feeling safe." I gently run my knuckles along his jaw line. "You make me happy and allow me to find out who I am capable of being. I don't think you realize how our time together has changed me or how much it means to me. I just hope that I am giving something back to you. I feel as though I manipulate your time and you get nothing, despite what you claim. I know your desire to help people and I feel as if I take advantage of that. Look at what I'm doing now! I'm looking to you for support and guidance with my mother's situation because I'm afraid to face it alone. I should apologize for impairing your quest, but I'm too selfish and need you too much."

He appears irritated and retorts in a tone harsh for him. "Mia, you are the most unselfish person I know and are not taking advantage of me! When you're with me, you look past the vile creature I am and allow me to momentarily escape the demon inside. I can't even describe the feeling that comes over me when you curl up next to me to sleep or allow me to comfort you when you are upset." He lets out an exasperated sigh. "Being with you makes me feel that my reprehensible existence serves some purpose! The time I spend with you is the happiest time I have ever spent, whether before my transformation or after and I..." He stops, staring into my eyes and I can see the panic and hear his sharp intake of air. He closes his eyes and when they open, his voice is somber. "It's getting late, we had better leave."

I feel dizzy, assured that if continued, he would have admitted that he loves me. Bringing his hands up to my lips, laying a gentle kiss upon his palm before holding it to my cheek, I smile. "Thank you for staying with me and checking on me. You may think it's selfish, but it means the world to me and I know your existence has a good purpose."

We walk to the elevator in silence.

Everyone is at the apartment. Katrina is on the couch, David sounds frustrated telling her how beautiful she looks and to stop fussing. She quips "I'm not dressed enough and feel like a house."

I hand her my triangle earrings and necklace. "Try these" Out of character, she hugs me and David looks relieved.

As my parents, Stephan, aunt and uncle pile into my uncle's car, David, Katrina, Andrew and I head towards my aunt's sedan. David drives because Katrina gets car sick.

The restaurant's atmosphere is very festive, dimly lit as soft music plays in the background. We toast Stephen being assigned to head the surgical department. My parents beam. The food is plentiful and I momentarily wonder where Andrew is hiding it all. After a while, he rises, excusing himself, probably to dispose of it. Everyone gets up to dance, leaving me with Stephan.

"I'm so happy for you. I know how much you wanted that position." I optimistically hope my compliment will dispel the uncomfortable silence between us. Instead, it fuels his disdain. "Someone had to do right with all the advantages our parents gave us. You could never fulfill their dreams and thanks to your little incident, I was almost voted down."

Before I can strike back, a cool hand touches my shoulder. "Would you like to dance?" He eyes me carefully.

As we reach the dance floor I recognize the music. Snaking one arm around my waist and gently holding the other, we begin dancing. "Ignore him. You can never win with someone so stubborn and unforgiving. He and your father are too blind by their limited perceptions to see the truth. Your mother needs to believe that she can bring her family together, you wouldn't deny her that."

He's right. My brother and father will never see me as anything but a quitter and failure. "I hope you are in a dancing mood because Stephan is itching for an argument."

He laughs, lightening my mood immediately. "I guess I can rescue you, but only because I enjoy dancing with you so much." He kisses my forehead then spins me around. As my eyes lock upon the sparkles shining in his, his arms tighten around me. My heart quickens and the warmth from my overheated blood coursing through my veins makes me lightheaded. The atmosphere around us is charged and suddenly seems to change. I can no longer hear my heals clamoring on a parquet dance floor. I feel as if I'm floating in his embrace. A cool white mist gathers around us, blanketing our surroundings, revealing only a brilliant sparkling sky. Andrew's dark suit and tie have been replaced by a white linen shirt with two buttons opened at the neck and light gray pants. A soft golden hue surrounds his essence. Looking down, my dress is no longer maroon. I am in a long flowing backless dress of the palest blue. His radiant smile melts my heart as his fingertips travel lightly up and down my exposed spine. His fingertips tickle my neck, circling it. I turn my head into his palm, kissing it softly. Desire ignites within me. As his lips touch mine, his kiss becomes more urgent and our passion explodes. We fall into the mist, laughing. He embraces me, pulling me onto his sculpted body. I glory in his warmth. His features are glorious, carefree. I move so I can kiss first one corner of his lips and then the other, before showering soft kisses up his cheek, reaching his ear. "I love you."

Crushing me to his chest, "I love you too." His eyes dance with delight. As his fingers skim my naked back, I can feel his other hand reaching for the tie around my neck.

"Stop" Andrew's panicked voice, brings me back to the present. His eyes are wide, unseeing, his features bemused and concerned. Could he have seen what I saw? He mutters to himself, answering my question. "What was that?"

I reach up to touch his face. He jumps back, releasing me. We stare at each other, stock still in the middle of the dance floor. Couples whirl around us, one woman, accidently brushes up against his back, shaking him. As reason returns, he hesitantly takes my hand in his and places his other on my waist, leaving a noticeable space between us. He still appears a little stunned, embarrassed even, but so am I, especially since my back still tingles and my heart is pounding out of control. It's strange and takes me by surprise, but once again, my images leave me with the feeling of longing to recall a distant, forgotten memory, one that I now appear to have shared with the shocked Adonis before me.

He first moves us toward our table, but then seems unsure if that is where he wants to go. Awkwardly, he shifts, moving us back through the dance floor. His eyes search mine seeking answers to questions he is too afraid to verbalize. I need to think. Tearing my gaze from his, I consider asking him, but is it really the right time considering we still have to get through tonight with my family. There are already so many mine fields I am dodging do I want to travel so close to this one?

I briefly glance back up at him and he appears to be contemplating too. Then he leans down toward my ear so that I can hear his soft utterance over the music and crowd. "Did you see that?" I nod, unsure of his direction or mine. "It was quite something." His voice is filled with wonder, but also trepidation. "Maybe we shouldn't think about it until we're alone again." He states tentatively and again I nod, releasing a breath, I didn't even know I'm holding. He relaxes too and by the time we return to the table, we each seem to have locked this item away, at least for now.

At midnight, as everyone kisses, Andrew surprisingly embraces me, causing my heart to once again react as it has all evening whenever he touched me, pounding so hard that I am sure everyone in the room can hear its sonic boom. Unexpectedly he brushes his porcelain lips across mine, my head spins. My eyes are unfocused as my mother embraces me. Excusing myself, I hurry to the restroom unaware that Katrina followed me until I am drying my face. "He loves you, you know." She states confidently.

"It's not like that. It can't be like that for me."

This is not a conversation that I want to have with her now. This trip, today, this evening and the images which rattle the draw I have locked them in are making my head pound. Little did I know that by successfully steering her away from this topic, she is going to drop another surprise upon me. I'm speechless as she asks me to be the twins' godparent along with Stephan. This is at least a pleasant distraction, although I am sure that David is the one who put her up to it.

Returning to the table, my mother rises to leave, she's tired, but insists that we stay and continue enjoying ourselves. In truth, part of me is grateful for her insistence, I'm not sure I want to go and open the rattling draw, fearing its contents may be too much for Andrew after my debacle this morning.

#  Chapter Fifteen – Death Arrives Claiming His First Two Victims

Katrina, David, Andrew and I leave around one o'clock. Katrina's shoulders are at an angle in the front seat and she is speaking animatedly about the nursery. Without warning, Andrew throws his arms around me, tucking my head into his chest. Something smashes the back of the car with a crushing blow, sending us careening toward the truck in front! Katrina screams! The crunching of steel is deafening. A haunting silence follows. Andrew releases me. I feel a piercing pain in my leg and see smoke!

"Are you alright?" His voice is panicked.

Stunned, I nod. Kicking open the door, practically removing it from its hinges, he thrusts me back forcefully and I'm across the street on the ground before I even blink. Dashing back to the car, he is immersed in the engulfing smoke! I can't tell if the car or truck is on fire, but either way, it isn't good! I struggle to rise, but fall and for the first time I am cognizant of a large piece of metal piercing my leg. Looking back at the car, the wind is blowing some of the smoke away and everything begins to register in slow motion. Andrew rips off the back of Katrina's seat, yanks her motionless, limp body into the back and carries her to me. "She's not breathing!" He shouts, placing her before me. Kneeling over her body, I force myself to ignore the pain of the metal driving deeper through my leg so that I can concentrate on giving Katrina CPR. As Andrew returns for David, he barks orders at the truck driver to call the police. The faint sirens are coming closer as the driver holds me steady. The driver yells. "The car is engulfed in flames!" My heart stops, but to my surprise my hands keep moving.

I see the flashing lights, but fear they are too late. Katrina still has no pulse and Andrew and David are still in the fire! The firemen jump out and begin spraying the car and truck. Andrew emerges through the smoky mist with David's lifeless body in his arms. David's head is practically hanging off.

A fireman with oxygen begins working on Katrina. The ambulance arrives and I hear Andrew informing the EMT that Katrina is pregnant and that I am a physician who can help them in transport. Andrew assists them in placing Katrina inside and I can see his hands resting on her heart as he buckles her in before placing me inside. Before they shut the doors, he lets me know that he will wait with David, his ambulance has just arrived. From the look on his haunted face, I know that David is dead. I force back the tears and panic that threaten to overtake me to continue our resuscitation efforts to bring Katrina back. The monitor registers intermittent heart beats. I plead with her to fight her way back for her children.

The emergency staff is waiting outside and works on her during transport. The doctors try to move me down to x-ray, but I refuse.

One of the doctors steps out for a moment and when the door opens again, he enters with Andrew. Their expressions hit me like a wrecking ball. Andrew embraces me as Katrina's doctor delivers the final blow informing me that she is brain dead. I can see his lips moving but there is no sound, then my world goes black.

Andrew's anxious voice is calling to me through my sea of darkness. "Mia, I need you to wake up. Important decisions have to be made. I called your father, but he hasn't arrived."

My eyes flutter open. "Can you help her?" I plead.

His tormented expression answers me, before his choked words. "I'm sorry, it's beyond my power! Her injuries are beyond my abilities, I could only sustain her temporarily. Her obstetrician recommends putting her on life support because it is too dangerous to take the twins now. They are awaiting your consent."

After signing the papers, Andrew carries me outside to give them room to work. My father is arguing with the physician who I just gave instructions to as my brother, aunt, uncle and mother are coming down the hall. I know I will carry my mother's devastating expression to my grave.

As she runs to me, Andrew puts me down, supporting my weight. "Where's Katrina, what happened?"

"I'm not exactly sure." I can barely force out the words.

Stephan barks at me. "What do you mean you're not sure? David's dead, Katrina's brain dead, and you barely have a scratch!"

"Now just hold on Stephan!" Andrew growls, his face fierce and frightening. Stephan steps back. I quickly try to force out an explanation to diffuse the volatile situation.

My mother grabs Andrew's arm and I hear her strangled plea. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

His tormented face looks whiter than I've ever seen. "I'm sorry Ann. I would give anything if I could." Her face drops into her hands and we move her to a waiting area. Stephan joins my father.

Two officers interrupt us to take our statement. They state the driver who hit us from behind is dead and they suspect alcohol was involved but are awaiting final toxicology results.

As we await the arrival of physicians from Boston my father contacted, I am taken into the operating room. I insist they operate to repair my severed artery using a local anesthetic.

After surgery, I insist on returning to my mother. Andrew is still with her, he appears relieved as I approach. As I sit next to my mother, he places his hands on my leg. I feel the healing heat.

Holding my mother's hand, I try to comfort her, but there is no way to bring peace to a parent whose soul is ravaged by the loss of a child and possibly her grandchildren.

My father emerges from Katrina's room with a physician who moves toward Andrew who whispers something into his ear. Andrew rises immediately, goes to the nurses' desk, hands them something before making a call and then returns to speak with me in private.

He wheels me into a private room. "Stephan called David's parents and they told him about the papers naming you as guardian. Stephan and your father are furious, but the physicians have confirmed there are no brain waves and nothing can be done." As my tears flow quicker, his voice fills with compassion. "I don't mean to upset you more, but the physician who spoke with me knows about Sanctuary and convinced your father to let us take her there considering what he is facing, but your brother is vowing a fight, so if you want to honor David's wishes, we need to transfer Katrina to Maine before he can roust a judge here to stop it. Once it is in court here, you will be tied up in New York until the matter is settled."

"What's he thinking?" I growl enraged.

"He isn't thinking, he's grief stricken and cannot deal with this tragedy head on. Regardless we should move now, all the transport arrangements are made but you and your mother need to execute the paperwork"

He wheels me out. "Mom, the physicians that dad brought up here..."

She stops me. "Your father told me everything. I know you have to leave. Your father is saying good-bye. I just need to see you first. Mia, I'm sure that David knew what he was doing when he chose you. I know this is a lot, but you can do it. I realize now that you knew exactly what you were doing all along. I'm so sorry you will be facing this alone too." Her eyes shift to Andrew. "Well, not entirely alone. He's a good man and he loves you. I can see that. Let him help. Raising children is difficult but rewarding. You will make mistakes, we all do, but you have an unlimited capacity to love. Trust yourself and you will be a wonderful mother. Promise me that you will include your father in the twins' life. He will need you more than ever when I'm gone. He is a good man and loves you. I know he is critical and stubborn, but I think that's where you get your streak from. Try to include your brother too. I know he has given you a rough time, but I can't bear the thought of him being without family. Promise me, please! I'll be watching if I can and I know you will make me proud."

Hugging her tightly, I know this is her good-bye to me. "Mom, I promise that I will do my best. I love you."

My father emerges as if knowing she is ready to say good-bye to Katrina now. They are so in tune with each other and I feel a new wave a grief for the next loss he will endure.

Before leaving, I have Andrew wheel me to the morgue. As they remove the sheet from David's face, sorrow overwhelms me. I can't believe they will never see their children. Touching his hand, it's cold like Andrew's. I have become so used to cold touches with living creatures, that I half expect him to open his eyes. As I say good-bye, promising to do my best to raise his children and vowing they will know how much he and Katrina love them, someone beckons Andrew.

He returns moments later. "It's time to go. Jackson has the court order from a judge in Maine honoring the copies of the custody papers which David's parent faxed to him. We need to leave now before Stephan is successful in getting an injunction.

I want to travel in the ambulance with Katrina. Andrew's expression is one of understanding but his tone is authoritative. "You need to heal and rest on the way to Maine. I gave the driver my number and we will be directly in front of them. There is really nothing you can do for her other than get yourself strong for the twins."

Hearing him speak the words, I realize what I've agreed to do and panic. "I don't know what I'm doing. How can I raise two children? I don't even have a home. I will do them more harm than good! Stephan is right to fight me. I'm just getting my own mixed up life settled. I'll mess them up as well!" I begin to hyperventilate.

Andrew places his hand on mine, his tone turns deliberate. "You are not alone and you have a home, we just need to rearrange some things. You will be fine and when they come, they will be loved and well taken care of. You're just overwhelmed. You need to rest and most of all you need to know that we are all here to help you. The children are not arriving tonight. There is time."

He cocoons me in a blanket before pulling out to the road. His hand reaches across and touches my bandaged leg. His cool touch brings relief but then I can feel the heat. Exhausted from the night's sorrowful events, I close my eyes, but the accident and David and Katrina's lifeless bodies play before my eyes as sobs rip from my chest.

Andrew reaches across, snaking his arm behind my back, and pulls me across the bench seat so I can rest my head on his shoulder. "You are not alone." He repeats.

I watch as the city passes us. After a few miles, I feel my eyelids droop and everything goes dark. In my restless sleep, I relive the accident over and over again, sometimes with different endings, with myself perishing, my sister surviving, and one which frightens me more than any other with myself being the only survivor and seeing David and Andrew caught as the car is engulfed by flames. My eyes fly open and I am lying on the pillow, wrapped tightly in the blanket. My heart is pounding and although the heat is on, my blood runs cold. "How far are we?" I murmur.

"We should arrive in thirty minutes. How do you feel?"

"I've been better. I couldn't help reliving the accident."

"I know. You screamed a few times." He sounds distracted. Concerned, I look over. His normally glistening blue eyes appear dark.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Nicholas must be up to something."

Bemused by his words, "I don't understand."

"It's not important," His tone is dismissive.

"I want to know." I plead.

"It's nothing. Sometimes when Nicholas is behaving badly, I can feel the effects of his actions."

Placing my hand on his thigh, he glances at me. "What can I do to help?"

"I'm fine. I'll talk to him later. We have a lot to set up when we return. Don't concern yourself with this."

"Andrew, you have helped me ever since I arrived and even before then. I want to share your problems and help if I can. You cannot always be solving my problems and facing yours alone. I hope that you don't think I'm so self-absorbed that your problems aren't important to me because I want to help."

He flips his hand over, intertwining our fingers. Bringing my hand to his lips, he kisses it. "I do consider you someone to talk to. You are not self-absorbed, selfless yes, but never selfish." He kisses my hand again before opening the window to type in Sanctuary's entrance code.

# Chapter Sixteen - A Sorrowful Return

Gabriel and Eva are outside before we even stop. It's snowing. Andrew picks me out of the car, handing me to Eva. "Take her inside and we'll help get Katrina in."

I'm shocked at how easily Eva carries me. I try to object.

"You won't do anyone any good if you fall." She replies softly. "I'm sorry about Katrina and David. You are not alone in this!"

Placing me on the couch in Katrina's room, I watch as they begin hooking up the machinery. They move silently, efficiently and in sync. When they finish, she looks peaceful. Gabriel hugs me before he leaves, his eyes say it all.

As Andrew goes to get me something to eat, I move next to Katrina. Even though the physician in me knows she isn't here, the sister in me needs to say certain things. "Katrina, I'm sorry you got ripped away from your children. I know how much you loved them and they will too! I could never be half the mother you would have been, but I will try my best. I wish you were here to hold them, kiss them, and watch them grow into the wonderful adults I know they will become. I'm sorry we wasted so much time fighting and they will know that such fighting accomplishes nothing but regret and lost time that can never be recaptured. I'm so sorry that it wasn't me instead!" My head falls next to hers.

Andrew's cool lips are at my ear. "Come sit."

His tone tells me he's upset. "Are you alright?"

"Mia, I heard what you said." His face contorts with pain. "You can't wish that it was you there..."

I blurt out interrupting him. "When we lost her, too many people lost too much! It should have been me! I would not have left anyone to mourn, but she is leaving two helpless children that will never know their mother's love!" He shakes his head vehemently. "It should have been me and you know it!" I feel frustrated, he should know this.

"I couldn't stand it if it were you there." His hands grip my face. He is staring at me, his eyes full of despair. "You have so much to live for. It isn't your time yet! Do you understand me?" His hands move down to my shoulders and he crushes me to his chest. "I can't lose you, not now!"

We sit silently. As he loosens his grip, my eyes shoot up toward his. His beautiful features marred by his immeasurable sadness and his eyes are vacant, reminding me of a desolate wasteland. "I didn't realize you came back. I would have kept my thoughts to myself. I don't want to cause you pain." Bringing my hand up, I gently stroke his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have intruded on a private moment." His expression strained. "Don't worry about anything. I brought you something to eat." He forces a smile, but for the first time, the beautiful face of my glorious angel looks more like the face of the dead. My eyes lock onto his vacant stare. I lost my sister, am losing my mother and now I'm inflicting unendurable pain on my benevolent angel who already endured immeasurable losses and loneliness. "Andrew, please tell me what you are thinking. I'm so sorry."

"It's nothing really." His sad tone cripples my heart. "You have more important things to think about now, don't you think?"

Tears fill my eyes as I stare into his. "I can't stand seeing you like this, knowing that I caused you pain. I can't help anyone else, but maybe I can make things right with you. Do you even know how important you are to me? Please tell me what I can do! "My hands move to grip his.

His voice turns thoughtful. "You didn't make me sad, you are the only reason I have felt a glimmer of happiness since our transformation. It's just hearing you made me realize how close I came to losing you and that thought is unbearable." His head shakes as if trying to dispel some bleak thought. "I know I'm a lifeless creature, but for the first time, imagining my existence without you, I felt the desolation and deprivation of an abyss worse than any hell which we could ever be cast into!"

The tears I fought so hard to contain, now stream down my face. "I'm so sorry. Seeing her there and knowing who she is leaving behind, I became overwhelmed." Desperate to lighten his mood, I try to distract him. "I have to stay and you have to stay with me. I hear boys can be real shooters, with your lightning speed, you would never be doused."

He is at least seeing me now, but his desolation remains. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put more upon you. Eat and then I'll take you home."

My eyes shoot over to Katrina. "I have to stay."

"We'll stay." Cuddling up to his cool chest, offsets the heat and tingling sensations energizing my every cell from being close to him. As I drift off to sleep, I feel his fingertips stroking my hair and then running up and down my arm. I hear his sigh and all of sudden feel suspended between consciousness and sleep. In my mind's eye I can see his heavenly blue eyes looking down upon me with such love and affection that I feel myself sighing too. In that instant, the darkness only lit by the glint of his eyes fills with the light of a brilliant sunrise shining through a picturesque stone window. Tearing my eyes from the pink hues coloring the white wispy clouds, I glance around. The walls are sandstone with maroon and gold tapestry hanging. A smoldering fire is in the fireplace. Sitting up, I am in a king size bed with an ornate maroon and gold duvet, wearing nothing but cotton nightdress that ties at the nape of my neck. I'm confused. A moment ago, I felt Andrew's fingertips caressing my arm as I was drifting to sleep. Yet now, I'm awake and feel the comfort of the silky duvet and the cool air which fills the room. Never have I felt this sentient in a dream, but I must be dreaming. Yet at the same time, it feels real, too real, too colorful, more like the feelings and images I have been experiencing with Andrew lately, but I'm alone. I can even hear the rustle of horse steps and the grinding of what sounds like heavy metal gears. Before I can dwell on these strange happenings, the door creaks, I turn quickly. Someone enters carrying wood. His face is covered by the pile before him. I shuffle, pulling the covers up toward me. Who is this? They must hear my movements.

"Sorry I was gone so long, I hope you didn't get cold." I gasp, I know the voice in an instant, but looking at his back, I'm stunned that his hair is long, tied in a short ponytail at the base of his neck and its color is not raven but a deep brown. In my dreams, his hair has never changed, but in what I've been experiencing lately, it always changes to this chocolate brown. I watch as he places the split logs next to the fire and taking some, brings the extinguishing fire roaring back to life. I feel its warmth immediately. He rises. His back still turned to me. I shake my head, his clothing makes no sense. He appears to be wearing an oversized white top and knickers. I giggle, he turns and his eyes are filled with desire and mischief. I stare unbelieving, his eyes are ocean blue, his perfect features are not pale, but flush from his carrying the wood or maybe the carnal desire which now gleams in his eyes as he strolls ever so slowly toward me. Untying the string which rests on his neck, he slowly peels off his shirt, never taking his gaze from me. A fire ignites within me, raging hotter than the one heating the room. I'm too hot. I throw the duvet off me. He kneels at the end of the bed, crawling up it slowly flaming the forest fire consuming me. My arms snake around his bare back, running my fingers up and down, relishing the feel of every sinew of his flexed muscles as his warm lips possess mine.

The door bursts open, he hoists his upper torso upright. He yells at whoever entered. "Get out."

"Sire, I'm sorry to interrupt, but your father has learned of your marriage to the wench and three of his best men are on the way to drag you back. They are almost here, you must leave."

The cushion shifts underneath me dragging me back to the present. My eyes open, meeting Andrew's astonished features telling me he saw it too, he had to. His eyes shift down. He's embarrassed and in truth so am I, but not because of what I just experienced, I am sitting astride him, my hands grasping at his shirt. Immediately I release his shirt and scurry off of him as my cheeks flush crimson. "I'm sorry." I squeak, my eyes shifting from his.

His soft astounded voice mutters, "You felt that too, didn't you?"

I still can't look at him, I nod.

His cool hands reach under my chin lifting my face so that my eyes are forced to meet his sky blue eyes. He hesitates as if unsure of what to say as innumerable expressions flit across his features, love, lust, wonder, surprise, desire, but most prevalent is bewilderment.

How could we have both seen that? Why even now does my skin tingle and my lips feel swelled? I run my finger over them, and they are normal, yet that is not how they feel. Even my insides feel strange, my limbs languid and my heart still erratic as if I ran a three minute mile.

There is a strange energy between us, despite our awkwardness at this new revelation. Once again I feel as if I got a glimpse of some strange, shared distant memory longing to be recalled, but that makes no sense. "Do you feel strange?" The words are out before I realize.

"I feel as if I experienced it again." He stammers in his own distraction.

My eyes shoot up at him as my mind registers the word again. "You feel that way too? Did you feel that way the other night?" I ask hopeful and from the way his lips pierce and his eyes shift down, I know he did.

His hand lifts, but he hesitates and rests it back on his knee. He appears deep in contemplation, sitting stock still for what seems like hours. The images bombard me. With everything I have come to learn over the past several weeks, a question circles in my head. Could this be another reality that we were somehow a part of? When I can no longer take the silent chasm growing between us, I bring my hand up to his face calling him back from where he is and mutter softly. "Is it possible that we were there?" His eyes widen, is he considering the same thing? "Please tell me what you're thinking."

He draws in a deep breath. "I'm not sure what to think. It did feel real." His voice trails off. "Although the version of me wasn't quite right, I did feel like I was experiencing it, not just seeing it."

I can hear a "but". "And?"

He shakes his head. "What if it's some kind of trick to entrap you, to make me admit..." He stops suddenly, rises and begins pacing. He grabs something out of his pocket, his beeper. His exasperation obvious, but then he closes his eyes, calming himself. "I'm sorry. I have to deal with this. I'll meet you back at the residency. We have to go see Judge Thompson." He kisses my head before leaving.

I pick at the food as I call David's parents knowing that their world has collapsed around them.

Walking back toward the residency, someone grabs my shoulders, spinning me around. I gasp, too surprised to scream. I stare into Nicholas' shocked face staring back at me as if I am a ghost. I wince as his grip tightens on my shoulder and try to shrug free, but he's holding me too tight. I push my pounding heart back down my throat and shriek. "Let go, you're hurting me!" Other hands are now upon Nicholas' and I am free.

"What did you do?" Gabriel shouts, but Nicholas doesn't answer, he just stares. "How could you?" The fierceness on Gabriel's face and ferocity in his yell tells me he's yelling over something more than Nicholas holding my shoulders.

"What's going on?" I implore.

"Mia, go back to the residency. I'll be there shortly." They disappear.

Andrew catches me pacing. "What's wrong?"

"Have you seen Gabriel?"

"No. He was supposed to meet me on a consult, but didn't show. Mia, do you know why he didn't show." He immediately tenses.

Fearing his reaction, but also concerned for Gabriel if they are fighting, I stutter. "It's just that when I came here, Nicholas stopped me and Gabriel intervened."

"What did Nicholas say?" His tone turns uneasy.

"He didn't say anything, he just..." Unsure if I should tell him, I hesitate.

His jaw clenches. "What did my brother do?"

"He didn't do anything really." I stammer anxiously watching his eyes grow angry. "He grabbed my shoulders. He appeared surprised to see me."

"Then what happened?" His face turns fierce as he fights to control his voice.

Nervous, I utter quickly. "Gabriel came, started yelling at Nicholas and told me he'd be back, but I haven't seen him since."

"Do you remember exactly what he said?" His voice is laced with concern.

"He yelled at him saying 'What did you do?' At first I thought it was because I told Nicholas he was hurting my shoulders, but he seemed angry about something much more important. His face turned furious and he yelled 'How could you?' Then he grabbed Nicholas's upper arms and they were gone."

"How badly did Nicholas hurt you?" His eyes darken and voice is furious.

I step back; the ferocity on his face makes him more frightening than Gabriel. He momentarily closes his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. Just the thought of my brother hurting you..." He appears to shake off a vile thought and his voice softens. "May I?" As he slips the jacket off my shoulder, his hands brush my clavicle and I wince. His eyes widen and he unbuttons my top button. My heart pounds erratically and my cheeks flush as he unbuttons two more and pulls the collar to the side to examine my right shoulder. He's mortified. Peering down, I see a black and blue thumb print on my collar bone.

As he examines my other shoulder, his jaw snaps and he re-buttons my blouse. "I'm sorry he hurt you." He sounds contrite, but I can see he's fighting for control of himself.

"It's nothing. I think you should look for them, Gabriel may need your help."

"I can't. Judge Thompson is waiting. I just need to speak with Eva and then we'll go."

When he returns, his whole demeanor has changed. He's appears more frightened than furious and his eyes are dull. While driving, his eyes are constantly scanning ahead and both hands are gripping the wheel tightly. "Does Eva know where Gabriel is?"

His voice reflects his tension. "Gabriel took Nicholas somewhere; he should be back when we return from the funeral."

"I can go myself. You should stay in case Gabriel needs help."

"I don't want you facing this alone!" He growls back.

I'm taken aback by his harsh tone. "Andrew what's going on?"

He stops the car. "We need to go inside before dealing with anything else." He clips. His eyes are still darting around, searching, but for what? He pulls me tightly to his side.

Despite the positive meeting, Andrew's tension does not wane and he is still on alert. "Andrew, what are you keeping from me? Nicholas looked as if he saw a ghost, Gabriel was furious and now you are anxious, and practically carried me across the yard. Please tell me!"

"I'm not sure. Eva said Gabriel hauled Nicholas off to get answers. Between the strange goings on and images which are occurring between us; Gabriel's erratic behavior; Nicholas' reaction; and the strange feelings that are coming over me the way they used to when Nicholas and I were fighting, I'm concerned because it all centers around you." His tone is filled with consternation. Seeing my alarm, he tries to calm himself, but I can hear his latent anxiety. "Mia, I'm probably just overreacting because of the accident. I'm sure that everything will be fine."

Packing for the funeral, I feel apprehensive about seeing David's parents. A knock brings me out of my introspection. Andrew's standing in the doorway, his features softer, but his eyes are still troubled. Despite all of the chaos, his absolute perfection stuns my heart.

He moves toward me, hugging me and stroking my cheek gently with his thumb. "It'll be alright. You'll find the words when you see David's parents." Despite his comforting words and gesture, I can feel the tension and know he's worried about what we witnessed.

Trying to distract him, "Aren't you in charge of the terminally ill not psychiatry? How did you become so perceptive?"

"When you are as ancient as I am, you gain certain insights. He smiles and for the first time in a long time, it is a genuine smile. "You should get some sleep." He kisses me on the forehead and turns to leave.

I don't want him to go, but don't want him to become anxious again. His hand is on the door and he'll be gone in an instant. "Can you stay?" I mutter.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a bed?" From his tone, I wonder if his reasoning is based more on this morning than my comfort.

"I feel very comfortable next to you." I answer earnestly.

"I guess the comfortable beds we bought were a waste if you prefer Stonehenge instead." He chuckles before sitting.

My mind drifts, but this time to darker thoughts. I am reliving the accident, however now I'm a detached third party viewer. There is something about the sequence of events that tugs at my consciousness, but a quiet knock calls me from my sleep. Andrew shifts out from under me. His voice is soft. "What happened?" I force my eyes open and see Gabriel grabbing Andrew out the door. I run to the door, but they are already down the hallway speaking. I cannot hear their conversation, but their faces look intense.

"Wait please!"

They face me, their expressions grave. My stomach lurches as Andrew's vacant eyes, tell me I am directly involved. I move closer. "I know you prefer that I don't know what's going on, but you can't keep this from me!" I plead.

A look passes between them telling me it's Andrew's decision. "Please don't keep me in the dark. I can handle it really."

His voice is solemn and his eyes agonized. "We should talk about this when we return. The funeral is going to be difficult enough."

"No, you need to tell me the truth now! From the way your acting, it has to do with the accident. You grabbed me right before impact. Whatever you suspected, Gabriel confirmed; be honest with me!"

He's stunned. Back in the room, he struggles to explain. "His forces convinced Nicholas that if you were off the grounds to give them a chance to manipulate you into doing something drastic, he would free our mother. They gave Nicholas some earrings so they could find you. Do you have them?"

Nicholas hadn't given me any earrings. I gasp. "The ones I found outside my door at Christmas I thought were from you. I brought them to New York with me; those were the earrings that I wore New Year's Eve. Oh no! Oh no!" I hyperventilate.

The blood chilling look passing between them strangles me.

"The accident wasn't an accident, was it?" I choked out as sobs rip from my chest. "I caused Katrina's death! It's my fault David is dead! I'm the reason the twins won't have a family!" Grief floods over me like a never ending tidal wave, pulling me under.

"Mia, we don't know that for sure." Andrew says steeping towards me. I step back.

"Of course I do! They wanted me and got Katrina and David by mistake. They would have gotten me too, but you protected me. A moment before the crash, you wrapped yourself around me, why?" I shout. "What did you know?"

"I didn't know anything! I didn't even know Nicholas gave you anything. It was more of a feeling that I didn't understand, like someone whispering to me to do it."

"The police said the driver died. I thought your type was indestructible?"

Gabriel interjects. "We are essentially. I spoke to the police and the driver was human." His expression tells me he is holding something back.

"What else do you know?"

His eyes quickly dart to Andrew.

"Look at me! You already told him, now tell me."

"Mia, I am only speculating because actual demons are not allowed to directly impact a situation."

He's stalling. "Gabriel, what do you suspect?"

"The driver was human and the police smelled alcohol, but the autopsy results didn't find any significant alcohol in his system and his speed was excessive, too excessive. I suspect he was dead before the accident, but if I'm correct, they were allowed to cross over and possess a corpse!"

I turn to Andrew. "I'm right, they were seeking me and now she's lying dead instead. It should have been me! You should have let me die and protected her! If you had, those children would have a mother instead of a target which will be ripped away from them when they least expect it!" I roar. I know what I said registers with Andrew from his tortured features.

Running into the bedroom, I slam the door. My legs finally give out and I sink to the floor as images of my sister's life and the future I robbed her of blaze before my eyes as Nicholas' warning actions and words scream in my head. I could have prevented this if I had only been honest with Andrew. Gabriel warned me and I didn't listen. Nicholas tried to warn me and I didn't understand. I can hear them arguing this very thing and force myself to listen. Gabriel believes Nicholas really didn't see this happening. He detected Nicholas was glad that I was off the property, but did not perceive this type of plan and even believed his warnings tipped me off and would avert their attempts, but that since he got me out of Sanctuary, their mother would be freed.

Andrew bellows. "What do you mean he was spending time with her? I thought we were going to keep them separated to avoid temptation or do you want another war! You should have told me! Maybe if we worked together, two more souls would not be lost and she would not be going through her worst nightmare, alone!"

I force myself off the floor knowing this is my fault, I begged Gabriel to remain silent. My family was ripped apart forever, and I couldn't allow my actions to rip his already suffering family apart further. They need to work together solve this puzzle and rescue their eternity.

"You're right." Gabriel utters as I open the door. "I should have told you, but every time I was near him, I didn't see any plan; he seemed calmer the more time he spent with her. I know that is no excuse, but I don't believe that you could have stopped this. No one could have predicted such direct intervention and you would have felt our kind coming."

Andrew's response is agonizing. "She wouldn't be suffering at all if it wasn't for me, maybe they wouldn't be aware of her."

"You're wrong. You know what we saw around her at the lake. She was targeted as a child. Your encounter probably saved her, prevented a direct attack. She was already being isolated."

"It's happening all over again. Gabriel what am I going to do? I can fight my feelings to keep her safe, but I can't lose her the way dad lost our mother!" His voice sounds tormented.

I step out as Gabriel puts his arm around Andrew. The torture ripping through his now darkened eyes and anguish engulfing his features pierces my heart with such excruciating pain it's difficult to breathe. "This is not your fault and you shouldn't blame Gabriel. I begged him not to say anything. I thought I could figure out what Nicholas was up to and even Nicholas tried to warn me. Maybe he didn't know what would happen." Saying this to stop what I fear will be a fight I began to wonder if Nicholas really didn't know.

"Mia, even if that's true, they may have stayed on you because of me. You're not the reason Katrina and David are dead, I am! I should have let Nicholas destroy me at the lake. I should have never brought you here!" Standing, he darts out the door.

I move to follow, but Gabriel stops me. "He needs time."

"Gabriel, what did you see around me and what do you believe he stopped?" When he doesn't respond, I try again. "Don't you think it is time I knew everything?"

He takes a deep breath. "Do you remember the story about our mother?"

"Yes"

"She was targeted because of her strong soul. You have a strong soul. Andrew believes they pursued you more so because of his encounter."

"But your mother was targeted before your father became involved with her."

"That's true. Each side is always watching. However, Andrew believes some souls go unnoticed by him."

"What do you believe?"

"I believe the shadows already let him know about you and that they don't let go of strong souls, but Andrew believes otherwise. Andrew saw the darkness trying to penetrate the light around you that night and probably stopped a direct attack similar to the ones suffered by patients here. We kept a watchful eye on you, but as you became more isolated, we felt the need to get you up here. Andrew thinks it was more of his desire to protect you personally and see you that led to that decision."

"Gabriel, do you believe the accident was a direct attack?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. For you to be at your strongest for him, you would have to do something drastic to cause your own demise, but maybe this was inevitable, whether we were involved or not. I just don't know."

"What do you mean inevitable?"

"When we were warring, Andrew became extremely affected by what Nicholas did. I think twins have a connection and it is possible that by taking her, he thought you would become weaker. If he takes you directly, he loses your strength."

This is all so confusing. I need time to think.

"I need to find Andrew." He leaves.

I can't sit in my room any longer with my scattered thoughts, I feel trapped. Stepping out into the night air, I still cannot focus. I want to deny I caused their death, but cannot escape the fact that they wanted me, but then Gabriel's words come back to me. Could this have been inevitable and how could I really be a strong soul? The cool air is biting and not helping my thoughts. I go to see Katrina. The paradox of her lifeless body giving life is something I cannot wrap my mind around, but then again, my whole existence is now centered on the phantasmagoric. Resting my head next to hers, tears trickle down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I love you. I hope you can forgive me."

A cool hand at my back wakes me. "I'm sorry for running out on you." My eyes meet Andrews, he appears calmer. "We have to go or we'll miss our flight. Jackson will monitor her."

Feeling numb, I head toward the car.

# Chapter Seventeen – A Tearful Trip

The ride is quiet. Each of us entrenched in thought.

Finally on the plane, Andrew breaks our silence. "Mia, I know you must be angry with me for casting you into this and your loss, but David's parents need your support and assurance that they will share their grandchildren's lives. If you could put this aside for now..."

I interrupt him. "Andrew, I don't think you caused anything. I am just overwhelmed at everything that seems to be coming from a world I never thought existed. I believe these events have always been out of both our hands. Yet, I still feel guilty knowing that they died because of me, but I don't blame you." I reach across to place my hand upon his.

His radiant eyes search mine. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but if I knew how much pain I would have brought you, I would have let Nicholas destroy me."

His words enrage me. "I'm not trying to make you feel better! You didn't do this to me. I'm sure of it, so you had better become sure of it too, if you want to help me."

He kisses my cheek and it tingles. "I promise not to say anything more to upset you."

Landing, we head straight to David's parents' house to assist with any arrangements. Martin looks as if he hasn't slept and Susanne appears frail, her voice weak.

We spend most of the afternoon going through pictures, talking about David's wonderful childhood and assuring them that their grandchildren need them to be strong and be part of their life.

Before checking into the hotel, we seek out a restaurant for Martin to have a luncheon after the burial. As the owner grumbles about short notice, Andrew slips him an envelope and assures him that his staff will be given a bonus for working on such short notice.

Checking into the hotel, my parents have yet to arrive. Andrew calls up to Sanctuary.

"Is everything alright back home?" I inquire as he enters my room. It's funny, but despite everything, it is home with the patients and his family as my extended family.

"It's going very well. Jackson's friend from St. John's who specializes in high risk pregnancies examined the twins and they are going to be fine."

"Is he sure?" I'm nervous to even hope.

"He is absolutely sure!" His voice sounds confident, without a hint of trepidation.

Tears of relief dew in my eyes knowing that part of my sister and David will live on.

"What can I do to make things easier for you?" He asks softly.

"Would you answer some questions?"

"I thought we agreed to wait until we return."

"I need to know what you saw at the lake."

"I don't want to upset you further."

I need answers. The time for half-truths and spared feelings have to be over, it's already cost everyone too much. "I made the biggest mistake of my life when I thought I could outsmart Nicholas. We need to lay all our cards on the table now and work together, no more secrets. I would feel better knowing everything."

His features express his understanding. He sits at the end of the bed, taking me with him, holding my hands, his eyes never leaving mine. "Nicholas and I were entrenched in battle. We were both going to lose. I was badly injured, but knew I only needed time to mend. I transformed into an eagle to escape, but he transformed into a fox and got me between his razor teeth." I gasp remembering the frail, blood-stained eagle. "I managed to wrangle free and began flying. Below were dark shadows moving towards the lake with two vampires. They were moving swiftly in a pattern as if searching with the shadows for someone. Then I saw a glimmer of light near the lake. Looking at it, I felt warmth and goodness emanating from the shimmer. The shadows were getting closer to it as the vampires moved closer to a campfire. My siblings were running through the trees looking for me. They chased off the shadows and vampires, but in the process lost sight of where I was coming down. I tried to fly down closer to see what the shimmer was and as I came down, Nicholas swiped me with a paw and I landed near you. You were the glimmer of light." His bright eyes glow with wonder and some emotion, I cannot quite name, causing my already fluttering butterflies to take flight.

"So you saved us that night."

"Mia I may have made you more of a target by drawing further attention to how special you are." His teeth clench.

"I don't believe that. I think Gabriel is right and I was targeted already. You saved me!"

"I'm not sure about that and even if we did, they may have left you alone after that, like they have left others we rescued. My watching over you after that incident may have made getting you even more attractive!" Anguish fills his eyes.

"Andrew, I believe your presence stopped them and we have been living on borrowed time ever since!"

A soft knock, interrupts our conversation. As I move toward the door, Andrew slips back into his room. Opening the door, my mother looks worn, wary and frail. "Have you spoken to Martin and Suzanne?" She asks weakly.

"We were there earlier helping with the arrangements"

"Do you think they would mind if we went over now?"

"Mom, you look tired and tomorrow is going to be strenuous. Give them a call and then you should rest."

"How are the babies doing?" Concern is evident in her voice.

"The specialist that looked at them said everything is fine!"

Her face lightens. "Maybe I'll go call Suzanne." She rises shakily and I help her to her room.

Shutting the door behind me, I close my eyes, leaning against it. I cannot believe how sickly she looks. Andrew emerges silently from his room. "What can I do?"

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lean into his chest. "You are doing it right now. I'm just taken aback by how sickly she looks. It's just so overwhelming." He strokes my cheek. How in the midst of all this sorrow, could his touching me sympathetically unearth such desire within me? With one simple stroke of my cheek, I feel more alive, even as I am surrounded by death, than I have ever felt in my life. Knowing he can see my flush and is aware of my accelerated heart, I close my eyes, hoping to calm myself. I need him and cannot afford to make another mistake; especially considering what he fears is causing those visions.

The next morning as I step out into the hallway, Stephan is at our parent's door. Turning, He glowers at me. "I came to pick up mom and dad, unless you plan on getting in the car with them too," his insinuation clear.

Turning to go, Andrew is glaring at Stephan, his features frightening. "Let's go!" I start walking but Andrew remains with Stephan, their faces tell me their shared words are harsh. "Andrew, please let's just go."

Andrew turns and begins walking, but won't meet my eyes. "What was all that about?"

His tone is hard. "I just gave him a friendly warning not to start trouble."

Knowing how my brother hates ultimatums, seeing Andrew's tension, and not wanting to cause Martin or Suzanne any more grief, I stop walking and grab on to Andrew's arms. "Please whatever he does, I can handle it. I plan on keeping myself detached. I don't want David's parents to suffer anymore, so let me deal with Stephan."

His eyes blaze, "He should not treat you like that. It's wrong!"

"We have butted heads most of our lives, promise me, please."

"Fine, but only for today" He replies stiffly.

The services are moving, but the dinner is tension filled. Friends of Stephan from the hospital insist on reminding me how unfit I am. Andrew keeps his word, but I can feel the stress rolling off of him as he stands still as stone, his face turning fiercer by the minute. At least David's parents are unaware of all this.

Before leaving for the airport, we take Martin and Suzanne home and retrieve David's lock box.

Reaching Sanctuary, I look at the ultrasound as Jackson recaps everything his physician friend said. It is the one bright spot in a very draining day. I go to sit with Katrina and can hear him talking outside the door. "Did she see the room?" Andrew responds. "Not yet. Is everything ready?"

"Everything worked out wonderfully. Even William helped."

The door opens. "Mia, come back to the residency, Jackson is on duty tonight and you need to rest." His perfect lips hiding a smirk and his eyes are the beautiful sky blue which I haven't seen in days.

Entering, Andrew stops to speak with Gabriel, but I'm just too exhausted and continue upstairs. Placing my key in the lock, it doesn't open. From my peripheral vision, I catch Gabriel elbowing Andrew and they laugh.

Andrew is at my side. "Mia, you have the wrong room." I look up, but it's my room. "Come with us." We walk to the end of the hall and Andrew steps into a room, flicking on the lights. The suite is large and all brand new. Andrew leads me toward the kitchen where I see two high chairs and Gabriel reveals a cabinet full of baby bottles and infant dishes. Stunned, tears trickle down my cheeks. Andrew takes my hand, leading me through the living room to a bedroom with double pocket doors that connect to a beautifully painted pastel room with two cribs, changer and rocking chair. I also see William sketched out trees and beautiful animals on one wall. I'm overwhelmed and my tears flow quicker.

Gabriel laughs. "This is supposed to make you happy, not bring more tears."

I throw my arms around him. "Thank you."

His tone is light. "Thank him, it was his idea."

Andrew interjects. "We all wanted to help."

I hug him too. "I can't believe you did this for me."

Taking my face in his strong hands, "I told you, you will always have a home here and we will help you with whatever you need. Besides, how else will I get you to stay a while longer?" He smiles with humor, but his eyes glisten with sincerity.

My heart pounds wildly at his touch.

I hear Gabriel chuckle as he places his hand on my back. "I'll see you in the morning."

Turning, I hug him again. "Thank you. Tell the others, I'm speechless, no one has ever been so kind to me."

"Don't worry about anything Mia. We are looking forward to the twins' arrival. We love children and it will be nice to see happy ones for a change." His face turns wistful. "I'll let you relax, today sounded very taxing and I'm sure you could use some rest."

Andrew wraps his arms around me. "Do you really like it?" He whispers in my ear, sending a sensation of desire down my neck all the way to my toes.

"I am stunned beyond words." I stretch to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you just isn't enough. When I was at the services, I tried picturing what I was going to do and how I could ever face this and you provide not only me a home, but them. You are absolutely wonderful!" Laying my head against his chest, I feel him shake his head slightly as if something is wrong and move to look at him. His expression is torn, maybe even guilty, but of what? "What's wrong?"

"Mia I have to admit, I didn't do it all for selfless reasons. I want to help, but can't stop my desire to have you stay. I thought that if we could make a home for you here, you would stay a little longer." I can see his warring emotions ripping through his features. "I'm sorry. I know it is not right, especially when I can't give you a real life with the love you deserve." His eyes turn unbearably sad.

I can't stand watching him rip himself apart, especially not after making me so happy on this horrific day. How could he think he is being selfish? It makes me so angry. Nowhere could I find someone better, no matter what eternity brings and yet he cannot see how wonderful, special and perfect he is. I raise my hand gently stroking to his cheek. His features relax slightly as he rests his face in my palm. "Andrew you need to stop beating yourself up every time you do something wonderful for me. I can't even express my relief knowing I don't have to face their birth alone! You think you're selfish for providing a home for us because you may cause me to stay somewhere that I love. That's crazy!" I bring my other hand up so that I am gripping his face, ensuring his eyes do not leave mine. "I want to be here with you. If that means being like this, I can handle it, can you? You make me feel special. You give me more than most life partners. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but it is the truth. I've seen couples who don't share as much, yet you think you're denying me something, why?"

His face becomes pained. "Mia, you know I can't commit to you. You know I can't love you, if I do, you'll become ensnared..." He moves swiftly from me to the window. His anguish brings physical pain to my heart.

Crossing the room, I again take his face between my hands, forcing him to look at me. "Andrew, I'm not asking you to commit. I know that the thought of what that means is too much for you, but you need to know that I cherish every moment we spend together. This is the first time I have wanted to spend time with someone, so can it be enough for you, without putting unnecessary pressure upon yourself worrying about what you can't give me and just enjoy what we do share."

"Look at what I cost you!" He responds his words strangled. "You lost your sister because of me."

"You are absolutely wrong!" I retort angrily. "I had her longer because of you and now will always have a part of her. If it wasn't for you, I would have lost her that day at the lake and God only knows what carnage I would have witnessed. You may not believe that, but I'm sure of it and I know you will do everything to protect her lineage now. Andrew, trust me enough to stop fighting against wanting to be with me. In you I find peace, so let me bring you some peace!" Stretching, I kiss him on the cheek, allowing my lips to linger.

His sculptured features soften and hope shines in his eyes. "You really mean that don't you? Are you sure this is enough for you now?" He sounds unsure.

"I have never been so sure!" I state confidently.

His arms encircle me, tightening around my waist and my heart pounds disjointedly. Lifting me off my feet, he swings me around. "Thank you for bringing the first spark of life to me in almost five hundred years!" He kisses my head and spins me again. I feel dizzy and hold his arms tightly when he puts me down waiting for the feeling to stop.

His face is peaceful now. "You should try to rest."

"I need to go through David's box."

"Would you like to go through it alone?"

"No, I would much rather you with me."

The box contains a trust set up for me and the children which includes the house and several insurance policies, CD's, a letter addressed to me, one to Stephan and his parents. Andrew's mouth drops as he looks over the insurance policies.

"What's wrong?"

"The policies pay double indemnity and are worth millions." His mood is somber.

Knowing why, I try to combat it with humor. "I hope you don't think you can get rid of me just because I can afford a home now. I'm staying right here where there are at least ten other hands to help with those midnight feedings, especially where none of you sleep." He laughs.

"Seriously Andrew, I don't want to use the money for myself, I'd like to ensure David's parents are taken care of and put away the rest for the twins when they get older. I like my job and the wonderful people here, unless you think it would be too much of a burden."

His face moves toward mine, my heart thrums like revving race car as he kisses my nose gently. "You are never a burden and we can help set up whatever you want." As I reach for my letter, he places his hand on mine. "You're exhausted. You can finish this tomorrow."

"I want to go back to work. Eva has been pulling my weight for too long."

His beeper goes off and as he heads out, I begin reading.

Dear Mia,

If you are reading this, it means something happened and you now have the awesome responsibility of continuing to raise our children. I am writing this on the day I signed guardianship papers and we are expecting twins. I don't know how old they will be when you get this or if we will have other children, but I want you to know that I thought long and hard about who I would want raising our children if something were to happen. You used to tease me about my type A personality, but if you are reading this then you will understand why I'm glad that it allowed me to plan ahead.

I know that you will be afraid of doing something wrong, but don't be. You have always been a strong person. You thrive when your back is to the wall to do the right thing and I hope that you'll instill that same tenacity in them. Trust yourself, you will make mistakes, everyone does so don't be afraid to admit them, even to the children. My parents did and it brought us closer and taught me the importance of getting back up and trying again.

I know you're wondering why I picked you. You are the only right choice and knowing how fate sometimes throws unexpected curves, I don't want to be unprepared, not where my children are concerned. I love Katrina, but I see the harshness in her from your rigid upbringing. Mine was so different and I hope to provide our children a balance. You do not have that rigidity, you fought against it, wanting more for yourself. You tried to compromise and fit the mold that people imposed and I know you suffered greatly when that failed. I'm sorry for not helping to pick you up or giving you support.

Katrina has shared your newest emails and it appears you found peace now. I hope that your struggles are over, but never forget what it felt like to be pushed in the wrong direction. You have a wise understanding of what people need. All of your experiences have shaped you into the only answer for me to guide our children if we cannot do it ourselves.

I know that with children comes sacrifice in both your career and lifestyle, and hope that the financial security I have provided will assist in the awesome responsibility of raising them and for the sacrifices to your career. If you have problems, my lawyer's name is written on the documents and he can help. Please make sure, if my parents are alive, that they have a role in my children's upbringing. They did well with me and I want my children to know their family. Finally, there is a letter for them and your brother. Please make sure they get them. I know Stephan can be stubborn, but my letter should stop him if he causes trouble. There are also CD's for the children which I will add to with time. Love David.

A sob escapes my clenched teeth, opening the floodgates. I scrunch my eyes tightly closed hoping to stop the streaming tears. I did not hear him, but his cool arms are around me, his hand stroking my hair. "Everything will be alright!" He says fiercely. "Did the letter upset you?"

"No, it's beautiful." I hand it to him.

Leaning back on the couch, taking me with him, he holds up the letter. "He's right, you are special, you can't be afraid to make mistakes and we will be here to help for as long as you want."

"Yes, but will you say that when I'm looking for someone indestructible to teach them how to drive?" I chuckle trying to lighten my mood.

"I will always be here for you." He leans down to kiss my forehead, but I stretch and kiss his cheek. As my lips linger against his porcelain skin the tingling sensation in my lips spreads out, energizing every muscle in my being. I desperately fight my urge to throw him down on the couch, kiss him passionately, and lose myself in the heaven that is Andrew. I can feel his tension mounting the longer my lips linger and wonder if now he can also hear my thoughts, the way we seem to share some images. Leaning back, he mutters distracted. "You had better get to bed." He rises to leave.

Grasping his hands, I interlace our fingers, rise and start backing up toward the bedroom. His eyes widen and I know he is aware of where I'm heading. He stayed with me in Minnesota and nothing happened, not even a flash. "Do you remember how in Minnesota you commented on how comfortable the beds here are? Besides, I would hate to tell everyone that they did all that work for nothing. Andrew, I'm not looking for anything other than sleep."

I hear him take in a jagged breath as he eyes me cautiously but I'm determined that he will find nothing but humor. "I remember, but considering what happened here the night before we left, I don't think it's a good idea."

Bringing our intertwined hands up to his face, I gently run the back of my hand from his temple, following his jaw line to his chin until my index finger brushes his lips. "Andrew, I know you're worried that what we saw was some sort of trick by him, but have you ever experienced anything like that before?"

He shakes his head.

"Even you noticed you looked different. Maybe with everything that was happening, I had a weird dream and you had the misfortune of sharing it with me, that's all." He parts his lips to say something, but I hold my finger steady, I don't want him to over think this. I need him. I need to be with him, to feel him beside me and to have him fall in love with me, despite the danger. I can't allow him to drift away from me. I love him. He is the piece of my heart that has always been missing.

He inhales deeply and I can feel him drawing his line in the sand as he shuffles back from me. "I think you're wrong, but even if that were true, that would not explain the incident in New York." His eyes take on a steely resolve. "Mia, I can't risk you, you need to understand that."

He's putting up a wall between us. If I allow him to go tonight, to fortify that structure, he will never admit that he has feelings for me, that he loves me. Taking a step forward to close the gap between us, I release his hand, moving my hands around his waist and placing my head against his muscular chest. I know what to say to make him stay. "Andrew, please I need to be close to my friend tonight, I'm so overwhelmed by everything that has happened over the past few days. I need to sleep. I sleep best wrapped in your safe embrace, knowing that you keep watch so that nothing can happen to me."

He stiffens as my words sink in. He steps out of my embrace. His features give me no indication of which way he will move next. Staring into my eyes, he takes my hands, and hesitantly walks toward the bedroom. I can feel myself relax as he wraps the comforter tightly around me before coming next to me.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Sweet..." He stops and I know why. "Good night." He whispers as I curl into his side.

# Chapter Eighteen –Sanctuary Situations

I hear his breathing accelerate. Before I can dwell, my consciousness drifts, filling my mind with the sound of gentle swishing water and crickets. I am near a tree lined lake at twilight. Scanning the area, it must be Lake Anna. I breathe a sigh of relief. Even if Andrew sees this, everything that happened here he already knows. Then it occurs to me, have I ever been able to rationalize in my dreams? Taking a closer look to see if he is anywhere present, I see this is not a lake, but a basin at the bottom of a running river. A man's head pokes out of the water. His hair is dark, wet. His sparkling blue eyes are dark, maybe from their intensity, but his features are quite unmistakable. I gasp, looking quickly at my clothing. I am wearing some sort of a white sarong with an ornate, jewel encrusted broach at my shoulder. Shaking my head, I hope to stop this dream as I can now see Andrew moving toward the shoreline, his muscular chest no longer hidden under the water. "I must wake up, I must wake up." I keep repeating but to no avail. His sculpted abdomen, glistening wet, is now free from the water's cover. His eyes turn wicked and I cannot tear my stare from this beautiful man. My lips part as he continues to move shamelessly out of the basin, freeing himself from the watery blanket. My jaw drops toward my knees as his feet touch the terrain and a scantily clad Andrew, whose physique challenges those of the Roman god's walks with determination toward me. His deep blue eyes gleam with his solicitous intention. He swiftly swoops down, lifting me off the ground. His lips upon mine as he pulls me tightly toward his moist skin and his wet hair drips down his bare chest, making my dress sodden. I realize I am not wearing anything underneath. On some level, I'm surprised that I am not embarrassed or blushing. Despite my scant clothing, I am hot, overheated, consumed by desire. I wrap my arms around him, allowing one hand to skim his muscular back and he laughs, but his eyes become darker. His hand moves from under my knees, releasing my legs slowly toward the earth. Passion erupts like a volcano within me as I draw him closer. "Come you promised me a swim for our anniversary." His sultry voice sends my already overheated blood coursing through me as his fingers gently glide down my back pulling me against him so that I can barely breathe. He backs us towards the cool crisp water. I can feel his smile. "I think someone needs to play in the refreshing water." He laughs walking backwards and pulling me in. I cannot even feel its coolness as our bodies intertwine.

My eyes flutter open and I'm panting, pulse racing, sweating from the overheated blood coursing through my body. I feel... I can't even find the words. Is this what it feels like after you make love to someone you cherish and hold dearer than your own life? Before I can even consider what I am feeling further, I jump up. I am alone. Did Andrew see this and leave? I move quickly to the doorway when my nostrils are met with the smell of bacon. Whew. Maybe he left before my erotic encounter. Distracted, I wonder which anniversary we were celebrating. Could my dreams allow me to lust after my husband after a long and happy marriage? The angel on my shoulder nods her head vigorously. Would we be like that if we got together here?

Reining my thoughts in, with a hopeful heart that he left before my exploits, I enter the kitchen. "You are spoiling me terribly. I need to learn to cook and eat on the run."

He turns, his face giving nothing away. "You should enjoy the indulgence now. I can't do this with twins in my arms."

Grabbing coffee, I sit down. "This is very good. Thank you."

"Did you sleep well?" His voice is quiet. Oh no! Did he see it and is now trying to gage exactly what I saw and will say. I'm frustrated, unable to read anything in his voice, features or body language.

I decide to play coy too. "You were right, the bed is very comfortable. Were you uncomfortable staying with me there? You seemed restless."

"I'm sorry I interfered with your sleep, I was just wrestling over something I never expected." His eyes tear away from mine, he looks ashamed, but does not mention the dream, maybe it has to do with something else.

I move my hand across the table to touch his face, but now he will not meet my eyes. My heart sinks, he must have seen. "Please talk to me."

His blackberry vibrates. "Saved by another emergency" he mutters rising.

I grab his hand. "This afternoon, please talk to me. We have to be past secrets now!"

It is so nice to get back to my rounds. William's excitement over the mural distracts me from my worrying about this morning's encounter.

Returning to the office, Jackson is there. Seeing me, he jumps up, takes my hand and leads me down the hall to an unused room. "What happened last night?' He tone is hushed. "Andrew looks absolutely frantic, he's pacing, mumbling to himself."

I flush as images of our carnal lovemaking in the water flash across my mind. As much as I have come to love Jackson, I can't tell him about the shared dreams. They're just too much, so instead I tell him what Andrew told me. "He was restless last night and this morning said he was wrestling with something, but he was not in the state you are describing."

Jackson becomes introspective. Despite what I believe, I'm hoping I'm wrong and Jackson can offer me another explanation. When I can no longer bear the silence, I blurt out "Do you know what's going on with Andrew?"

His features change as if something dawns upon him. "He's behaving the way Eva did when faced with the inevitability that I wasn't going anywhere and she had feelings for me. He is wrestling with his biggest fear that he will ensnare you as well as physical and emotional feelings that are foreign and which he's spent centuries avoiding. Mia, you need to be careful, if he is not ready to face what is going on, he'll leave. He won't have you leave because of what he sees as a threat to you, but it would not be good to have him leave not with the looming question about what they are up to and what Nicholas really knew or whether he was manipulated...manipulated..."

Jackson freezes, his features deep in concentration, as if he is running centuries through his mind. After an interminable silence, something seems to occur to him and he paces wildly in this small space, talking to himself. "What if you weren't the sole target? What if this is to make him vulnerable and he is the key?" He stops suddenly before me, grabbing my wrists. "You have to keep Andrew calm and here. I think it's dangerous for him to be on his own."

His intensity peaks my anxiety. "I don't understand! What you're talking about?"

He takes a steadying breath. "Since we have been here together, we are becoming stronger. What if all of what just occurred was to get us fighting again. Your arrival alone, did not lead Nicholas to attack Andrew head on or the fighting that he must have hoped for. I know you love Andrew and anyone would be blind not to see he loves you back. What if Nicholas was manipulated, but maybe he was not the only one. They always thought they were immune because of what happened and what they became, but what if they are just as capable of being manipulated?"

He sees I am becoming more bemused. "Think of it this way. When I went after Eva to make her admit she loved me, I was manipulating her fate and mine, tying us together forever. What if they can all be manipulated and don't see it until it's too late?"

Jackson's words sweep the cobwebs from the corners of my cerebrum. "So our encounter was always being used to manipulate their course. Who is the target then, is it all of you as a group or only some?"

"I'm not sure, but what if the accident was not only to target you, but also to isolate Andrew? What if you are each other's better half and the two of you are like the grand prize? You are the key and he is the automobile, winning one without the other wouldn't work. What if he needs something from you both so that all of the others will follow?"

As he says this, the shared images of us together flash through my mind again. "If you're right, why not wait until Andrew admits he loves me, wouldn't that ensnare me and if we lost he gets us all? Isn't that what Andrew is so afraid of?" With trepidation, I briefly tell Jackson about the images of us married and together.

When he recovers from his shock, his voice is lower. "Mia, those sound like more than just dreams and if they are showing you that you are connected, maybe something has changed, that we are unaware of. Maybe in revealing these, he is hoping to manipulate Andrew into committing to your sooner?" I know that is what Andrew fears, but before I can say anything, Jackson's head whips around and his voice turns urgent. "Maybe he was hoping that the accident would cause an immediate war between you and Nicholas and isolate you and Andrew from each other so that in your desolation, he could manipulate each of you down destructive paths. Right now, there are too many unknowns, but I am sure of one thing it is essential that Andrew does not leave!"

"I don't want him to leave. I need him Jackson! What should I do?"

"I'm not sure, but you have to convince him to stay, we need to figure this out together."

My stomach is overwhelmed by fluttering butterflies for the rest of the day, especially when Andrew doesn't show up at lunchtime. While reviewing the obstetrician's report, I see the blanket move by Katrina's stomach. Placing my hand on her stomach, I feel a kick. The dichotomy of her lifeless body giving life stuns me. The door opens, it's Andrew. "Come here, you have to feel this. It's amazing!"

He moves robotically forward. Taking his hand, I place it on her stomach. His face turns soft and his eyes are overtaken by joy as he feels the kick. "It's truly a miracle, isn't it?" Amazement rings in his voice.

"They grew!" I say excitedly. "They are going to make it!"

Caught in the moment, he wraps his arms around me snugly. "I told you they would!"

I rub Katrina's stomach and know it's silly, but cannot resist. "I'll see you soon little ones."

Taking his hand, he tenses. I call up my most commanding voice. "We need to talk."

Walking back, I decide my course and it does not include him leaving. "Andrew, I know your restlessness had to do with me and probably the images we shared again last night." His eyes shoot up to mine and I am positive he saw everything too. "I thought about not telling you, but evasiveness is only hurting us more. I don't want to play games and hate that I'm making you feel so uncomfortable..." I take in a deep breath. "I know you're thinking about leaving and I won't let that happen! I'll leave before you separate from your family." His shocked look makes me nervous, but I have to protect him, even if it means taking the twins and hiding in some hole. If Jackson is right, it would be dangerous for him to be alone. My heart seizes at the thought of his suffering; I lean over holding my chest tightly.

He grabs me, trying to straighten me out, his voice sounds panicked. "Mia, it's alright! Open your eyes."

Forcing air into my lungs, my voice is raspy. "I'm sorry. The idea of you leaving and getting hurt overtook me; you must think I'm possessed always reacting so badly to stress."

His voice turns tranquil. "I don't think you are possessed and would like to keep it that way." He exerts effort to smile. "You have enough to deal with. You shouldn't be expending even a passing thought on me."

Staring into his sparkling eyes, I know I'm probably burying myself, but everything needs to be out in the open, no more games. "Andrew, I think you know this and wish it wasn't true, but you are important in my life. What bothers you matters to me. You're struggling because of me and we need to work it out. I'm not going to let you leave and I would prefer to stay. I'm begging you, please talk to me! There has to be some compromise we can reach."

I can feel his mounting tension. He takes my hands and inhales deeply. "I care for you more than I should allow myself. I see us getting deeper involved and you stir feelings within me, a desire to get close to you that I have never experienced before. The images that we have shared, feel so real, I am embarrassed because I don't know if they are coming from me or you, but at the same time, I would love to have that with you, here, now, but I know what would happen if I allow these feelings to overtake me and give in, I will cost you your life." My heart beats hyperactively at his admission, but it also breaks at seeing the depth of his fear as agony rips through his features. "Mia, I can't allow myself to be overcome! I truly believe whether we solve this puzzle or not, because of how he created her, we are bound to him for eternity and I don't want that for you! I would give anything if I could commit to you; offer you a life with love and passion like we have seen. I would love to take you in my arms at night and softly kiss your delicate pink lips, caress your cheeks and enfold you in my arms, but I can't at least not without committing you to his darkness forever. As we get closer, I fear I will lose my determination to keep you from this existence, even if it is only for a moment. If I let myself consider the possibilities that these images open up and make a mistake, it will entrap you and damn you forever and yet I struggle because I don't want to let you go!"

He closes his eyes and I wait while his ragged breathing slows. "Last night I struggled the most and it's not just from our shared image. Even before that began, I felt a desire to pull you closer. The intensity of my wanting you like that makes me want to jump out of the room and run, not stopping until I reach another continent." His voice sounds strangled. "I'm terrified that I'm not strong enough and may give in like Gabriel or Eva. I don't want this for you and can't live with myself if I give you to him!"

His hands are fisted tightly. Tugging at his fingers, his grip finally softens and I take his hands in mine. "I know that you are afraid for me and think that if you give in, you're condemning me. I don't believe that and don't you think that I should have a say in this!"

He stares at me earnestly. "Mia, you haven't seen the suffering that I have. I can't thrust that upon you. I can't be the one to enlist you in his army of the damned!" His facial features twist at whatever images flash before him.

"I do understand and I'm not afraid of facing anything as long as I'm facing it with you! I have thought long and hard about what could happen, especially since the accident and seeing how my sister's life was cut short before she even had a chance to enjoy the greatest blessing of her life."

I bring his hands up to my lips and kiss them gently, holding them to my cheek. "I do realize the repercussions if you declare your love for me. I considered not telling you, but I don't want to have secrets, and although you fear for me, I have decided that the consequence of what could happen doesn't frighten me." His eyes flare with disapproval and I stop for a moment.

Drawing in a deep breath, I want him to hear my determination. "Andrew, I have never even considered getting close to someone, but with you, that has all changed. I don't want to lose the time we could have finding out where this may go and enjoying some small part of a happy life because of the fear of what could happen! You don't know for sure what is going to happen. You only know what you fear." He opens his mouth, but I move my hand to his lips and he closes them, staring at me intensely.

"I'm not saying what you fear isn't valid, but even you can't say that your fate is sealed. I believe that you and your family will find the solution. You are too good not to prevail! I refuse to believe that the goodness in you could be lost to the darkness forever. Look at your mother, she was condemned and love may save her. The abyss could not hold her and she may have a second chance. However, even if I'm wrong, I'm ready to live with the consequences." My hands grip his face forcing his eyes to see that mine do not lack the courage of my conviction.

"I don't want to lose whatever time we have! Once you allow that, you are already condemned and have allowed the darkness to take away the light offered by love and it has already won too much of a victory keeping you from a life that you so deserve." He shakes his head, but I will not let him stop me now that I started.

"I'm not afraid of what may come. Our paths did not cross by mistake. Our souls are already connected and we are fated together." I'm about to tell him that the images prove this, but knowing he fears they are a manipulation technique, I stop myself. "I refuse to let fear of what you suspect is to come tear us apart. I refuse to let the darkness take one more thing from me!" The words flow from my lips like water rushing through a broken dam.

His contorted features and desolate eyes make me feel as if I have lit the match and sent his flaming body careening into the very hell which he is desperate to save me from. The angel on my shoulder, who once encouraged me, is now slapping me across the face, screaming. Wake up, do you realize what you have said, what he has heard? Silently, I pray my honesty will not doom us apart. I need to make him understand that regardless of what he decides will become of us, he cannot leave. Stroking his cheek, I make my voice soft, trying to pull him to the here and now. "I know my words are not what you were hoping for, but you need to promise me that no matter what you decide for us that you will not leave. I can leave, but you cannot!" Once again, pain pierces his darkened eyes.

"But if I leave and you stay, you will be safe, safe from them, safe from me." His voice is barely audible.

I grab his shoulders. "You can't think of leaving."

"Why?" He protests.

"First because I don't need to be safe from you, I want to be with you. Second, Jackson has a theory and I know he is on to something. We were talking..." His eyebrows rise. "I do talk to other people besides you."

"Yes, but Jackson, for as much as I love having him around, he tends to make wrong choices. He shouldn't be giving you any ideas!" He retorts angrily.

"Stop that! His choice has allowed them to spend years loving each other. If he listened to you, they would have lost that time. Do you know how many people have never known the life they shared and would trade an eternity for just one day of that type of intense love!" I take in a breath, knowing I've become distracted.

"I can't really explain it, you need to talk to him, he was talking to himself too quickly, but he believes you are all stronger together and closer to a solution, but that something has changed that you are unaware of. Jackson believes the accident was to isolate you as well as me. If you left, you would be out there vulnerable, able to be manipulated, your strength comes from being together. He has a point, but I'm muffing it up. Go talk to him." My pulse races and my voice sounds shaky. "You need to promise me that you won't leave! I will do whatever you want, I will leave, promise to stay away from you, not even look at you, but it is too dangerous for you to go."

His face finally softens and he is now holding my face in his strong hands, stroking my cheek. "I don't want you to be anxious. You explained it perfectly. It's sometimes difficult to follow Jackson and I will go see him. I promise that I won't go anywhere for now. I fought with the idea ever since I had you come." His voice turns solemn. "I do care for you more than I ever allowed myself to care for anyone, but I think you know that. I want to be with you to share the life, passion and love I see in our flashes, but I can't allow my own selfish desire to plant itself in my heart. I won't allow myself to feel or say the words which will condemn you to his endless darkness! I can understand that you don't want to lose the time we could share, but I'm not ready to have you entrapped and suffer beside me. Mia, don't let your misplaced feelings for a savage like me hold you back here, you should move on with your life, find someone who can commit to you now." His features are expressionless, but the pain shows clearly in his eyes.

"Andrew, you are not a savage." I scream angrily, but then soften my voice. "You are the most special being I have ever known. I don't want to look for anyone else. My heart is already yours, if and when you want it. If you decide that you can never commit to loving me, I can live with that too. I am perfectly content to go on as we are, but if you need me to back off, I will, as long as you don't leave."

He wraps his arms gently around me. "I don't want you to disappear from my life. I want to spend time with you and have you by my side." His voice whispers as if he is revealing a guilty confession. "I just don't want to hurt you by not being able to be with you the way you want. I don't want to deprive you of the love you deserve." Sincerity rings through his gentle voice.

"There are all types of love and for me, this time I spend with you, the closeness we share, is enough. If it never changes, I still wouldn't feel deprived of one thing."

He kisses my head and rises. "I need to speak with Jackson. I promise I will be back later."

"You don't have to come back if it makes you too uncomfortable. I'll be fine."

His lips glide across my forehead and kiss my temple. "You don't make me feel uncomfortable. In fact, I am more awkward now when I'm alone than when I'm with you. If you can tolerate my wrestling with myself, I'll be back."

I sit motionless trying to calm my hyperactive heart. The thought that he wants to spend time with me fills me with an overwhelming sense of joy. If he stays and they work together, maybe they will find a solution and we could have a life together, share the passion I see us sharing in my visions.

I decide to go through David's CD's and must have fallen asleep. When I wake, I am not on the couch, but in bed, with Andrew next to me, wrapped in his embrace as he runs his fingers gently up and down my arm. I smile at him, happy that no images bombarded my dreams. "Good morning." He sounds cheery.

"Did you speak with Jackson?"

He nods. "He set out his speculations to Eva, Gabriel and Catherine as well. We are going to talk with the others tonight. I just want to be sure to have myself in check. I haven't seen Nicholas since we returned."

I force myself not to show any emotion. I blame Nicholas for working with them. His actions helped them kill my sister. If he is the last holdout and essential to their finding a solution, I cannot help my sister now and by starting something between them, I will hurt Andrew and aid in the destruction of his family. My sister is lost to me. I will not allow my selfish desire for revenge to harm the people that I love and the man I cannot live without. There has been too much suffering already and I won't let her death be for not. Something good had to come from this tragedy.

I close my eyes. "Andrew, I want you to work this out with Nicholas! Jackson believes he was manipulated. I can understand his motivation, wanting your mother freed. The life of a stranger for someone he loves. Maybe he really didn't know what was going to happen. Self-denial is a powerful tool that we use all the time. You can't allow this tragedy to continue, for my sister, for me, you have to work with him and find a solution so that something good will come from so much loss."

He embraces me, kissing each temple. "How did you become so wise?" I would expect this from someone of my age, but you are just a baby." He teases.

"Sometimes older is not wiser." I say mockingly.

# Chapter Nineteen – An Unexpected Turn Of Events

The day flies by. Happy to have some sense of normalcy back, I volunteer in the green house. Listening to my iPod while picking vegetables, I jump as someone places their hand on my shoulder. Turning, I expect Andrew, and for a brief flash that is who I see. As my surprise dissipates, I see Nicholas, his face taut with grief.

Dread grips my heart, I'm alone with him, but all the games, manipulation and trickery need to end. Trying to sound confident, I draw in a breath. "What do you want Nicholas?"

Shock washes over him and his eyes dart behind me, but he still hasn't spoken. I half turn, not wanting my back toward him and call out. "Come out Jonathan. Whatever game you two are playing, you're not fooling me, so confront me with whatever it is you have to say!" My tone surprises me. It sounds authoritative, confident, which is the complete opposite of the terror that is overpowering me. Jonathan stands up. I step away from Nicholas keeping them both in my sight. Knowing what they are, I wonder if the breath I struggle for in confronting them alone will be my last.

Nicholas finally speaks. "How did you know?"

"Nicholas, you never fooled me, I've known from the first day."

"If you knew, why did you listen to me and pretend to be interested? Why were you nice to me? Why aren't you screaming for Andrew now? I'm sure he would hear you." He is completely bemused.

As nervous as I am, I know my screaming would only complicate matters. If they wanted to kill me, I would already be dead considering they could snap my neck easier than I could snap the pea pods off the vines. "I went along with your game hoping you would get to know me. I don't know why you tried to kill me before I came here, but I was hoping you would give me some answers as to why you are doing what you're doing and maybe I could even help you and your family."

His head cocks to the side as Jonathan's mouth drops open. Nicholas' voice sounds repentant. "I don't understand. Why didn't you just have Andrew kill me when you got back, knowing that I was the one who made you vulnerable?"

Praying his tone is not a trick, I try to seize this opportunity. "Why would I want more bloodshed on my hands? Revenge doesn't solve anything! Don't you think there has been enough death already? It wouldn't solve anything for me to seek revenge for my sister it would only make her death more tragic. Nothing good can come out of following an evil path. Nicholas, please for the sake of yourself and your family believe this. Did it really help anyone when you manipulated me into leaving? Did he let your mother go? No! Serving him will never solve your problems! Only by working together to do the right thing can any of you hope to survive!" My desperation is evident. I just hope it touches him somehow. "You won't win by deceit. It will only bring more peril. Your mother is still trapped and it is not because I'm still standing. He will never help you! Can't you see that?"

His features contort and he is upon me. A scream catches in my throat. He is radiating heat; the intensity of it is burning me. Struggling to get free to no avail, hoping the breath I struggle for is not my last. To my surprise, he whispers in my ear. "I'm so very sorry, please forgive me." Instantly, he is off me. His features appear as if someone is torturing him. Jonathan stares upon the scene with horror. Nicholas flees.

Andrew and Jackson burst through the doors. Andrew's eyes are fiery as he grabs Jonathan's shoulders. Jackson stands before me protectively. "I told you to stay away from her! What the hell are you doing?" Before Jonathan can respond, Andrew's head turns to me. "Are you hurt?"

Still stunned, I only manage to shake my head. Andrew's gaze returns to Jonathan, he's angrier than before. "What did you do to her?"

Grabbing Jackson's shoulder, I force myself to speak. "Nothing, I'm fine, stop!"

In a flash, I am in Andrew's arms and Jackson stands before Jonathan. "Are you sure he didn't hurt you? What happened?"

My overheated body craves relief from Nicholas' burning embrace. I pull myself into Andrew's chest. "No one hurt me! Jonathan came with Nicholas to apologize."

Andrew growls. I step back. "Nicholas was here with you!" His features turn frightening.

I place my hands on his cheeks. "Andrew, he didn't hurt me. He sounded truly sorry. You need to find him! He left quickly and there is something strange going on with him, something isn't right."

He eyes affix on Jonathan, glaring. "What games do you think you're playing? I won't let you hurt her! Do you understand me?"

Jonathan replies softly. "Look, I didn't know he talked to them. I just thought he was tricking her to leave, but she's right, something is going on with him!"

"He probably just can't face what he's done. He should have known that no matter what he agreed to, our mother would never be free and look what it cost her, she didn't deserve this. Those children don't deserve to be growing up without a mother!"

With trepidation, Jonathan speaks. "Andrew, she would have died anyway. You know what's happening, even I can see it! We all saw what was coming for her family that night. Frankly, I'm surprised they waited this long to strike again. Maybe he wanted her more mature and thought her isolation would be her undoing, making her stronger and more useful to him. "Unfortunately, I think it backfired. She possesses a sense of forgiveness and determination to do right no matter what it takes! I watched astounded as she struggled to forgive Nicholas. He was wrong to let her mature. Even if she loses, she probably won't be of any use to him. She won't be manipulated that way."

His words surprise me, but also confirm my biggest fear. Andrew is the car to my key because I would do anything to spare him pain.

"Andrew, you don't have to fear any of us hurting her. Nicholas knows he was wrong and that following his direction will never bring any of us peace! It's just too bad it has taken this long. I'm sorry to all of you."

He turns to me. "I don't know how you saw through what I do, but I assure you that Nicholas came only to apologize."

Turning back to Andrew, "We need to find him. Something is definitely wrong!"

Andrew's response sounds more normal. "Let me get her back to the residency first."

I interrupt. "Find Nicholas, I'm going to help Gabriel. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now go!"

Kissing my check, they are gone instantly.

I am still with Gabriel when he returns. "There's no sign of Nicholas. It's strange. He disappeared without even a trace past the woods. As soon as he returns, we need to find out what's going on!"

Gabriel excuses himself. Andrew pulls me into his embrace. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Jonathan told me what you said. You're amazing!"

Despite wanting to stay in his arms, I don't want to keep him from searching. "Are you going back out to look for Nicholas?"

"Not tonight, he must have hidden his tracks to give himself some time."

To my surprise, I find myself concerned for him. "Isn't it dangerous if he encounters them again?"

"Mia, we cross their paths often. They betrayed him. He realizes this now and will resist their influence. He just needs time. It's very hard to let go of what you believe."

I curl up into Andrew's side just before we hear a frantic knock. Opening the door, Eva's features make my blood run cold. "Nicholas is back. He looks as if he's been attacked!"

Andrew springs up. "Where is he now?"

"He's in his room, crouched in the corner, mumbling."

Stepping inside, everyone is talking to him. Francis moves toward him and he recoils like a scared child. His eyes are unfocused. His features twist into an expression beyond mere frightened. Andrew approaches him, but Nicholas forces himself back, causing an indentation in the wall. Andrew turns to everyone. "Give him some space." We back away as Andrew speaks in a soothing voice. "Nicholas, can you hear me?" He looks up, but his eyes still appear unfocused. "No one here is going to hurt you. You're safe with your family." With each word, he inches closer. "Can you tell us what happened? Let us help you, you're home, safe." Andrew extends his hand. Nicholas lets out a blood curdling scream. Andrew embraces him, but immediately recoils, looking at the others frightened as if he cannot make sense of what he just felt. "Gabriel, Jackson, help me get him into the tub."

I race toward the bathroom door, knowing Andrew felt his brother's burning skin. Flicking on the lights, I turn on the water. Francis comes in with bags of ice. They melt instantly. Andrew continues to question him, but Nicholas does not speak and there is no sign of relief in his tortured features. My mind cannot process what I see. Gabriel, Jackson, Andrew and Jonathan lift the claw tub off the floor with Nicholas still inside, shove it through the doorway, breaking the arch, and carry it down the hall into the cold, dark night. They step inside a walk in freezer and continue encasing him in ice. Finally, the ice stops melting and his face registers some relief under Andrew's ever moving hands.

After several hours, they emerge carrying Nicholas who looks too weak to walk. Andrew's face appears worn and paler than I have ever seen it. Taking him back to his room, they place him in bed.

Nicholas' eyes focus, but his features still hold pain. "Can you tell us what happened?" Andrew asks concerned.

"I'm sorry." He keeps muttering.

It's dawn. Andrew turns to me. "Mia, you should rest. We aren't going to get anything from him right now." Then he turns to Gabriel. "Can you get anything?"

"His thoughts are too scattered, too quick. All the glimpses I am getting are very dark and I think he's been tortured!"

His words frighten me. "I think we have to give him some time. He's too traumatized. You won't get anything by pushing him and may do more harm! He has to process it himself."

Andrew turns again to me. "Mia, please try to get an hour or two. Nothing can be done here."

Not wanting to add more stress, I rise. "Keep me updated."

I leave but decide to lessen their burden by checking on the patients. When I arrive at the psychiatric building, Eva and Jackson are already there. "Why don't you go and stay with Nicholas, I can handle this today."

"I thought Andrew told you to sleep."

"I can't so why don't I give you a break today for a change."

"We are only making Nicholas more nervous so why don't we split the work and both leave early."

"Fine, but I really like my idea."

"I'm your boss so we do it my way. Now off you go, Marcus was asking for you."

Returning to my office after rounds, Catherine is waiting for me "Mia, Nicholas has been calling out your name so Andrew sent me to get you."

"You could have just called me."

"Andrew wanted me to make sure that you were still alright helping us with him considering...." Her voice trails off.

"I meant what I said to Nicholas, that no good could come of your family being torn apart over this. I can't bring my sister back, but if I can do something to help you work together to bring an end to your entrapment, then at least she wouldn't have died in vain. Just tell me what you want me to do."

She relaxes. "Just walk into his room. Andrew is there with Jonathan."

"Has he spoken at all?"

"Not really, but a few times he said your name. We're hoping that when he sees you, he'll say something. Gabriel is still having trouble with his erratic thoughts."

Entering his room, Andrew and Jonathan's anxious eyes shift between me and Nicholas who registers my presence immediately. His mouth opens and closes several times as he strains to speak. Moving closer, I make my features soft as I speak. "Nicholas, I came as soon as I heard you were asking for me. You're safe here. No one is upset with you." Sitting at the edge of his bed, I place my shaking hand upon his. He is still hot to touch, but not burning like before. He grips my hand tightly. Without thinking, I let out an "Ouch" and Andrew moves closer. I raise my other hand to stop him. "Nicholas you're hurting my hand, can you loosen your hold please." He does and I can feel the blood flowing through it again. "Nicholas, can you tell me what happened last night?" Moving my free hand, I gently stroke Nicholas' hand. His eyes glance over to our hands and they soften. "He refused to let her go." He murmurs. "He didn't accomplish what he wanted so he wasn't going to keep his word. I was such a fool. I thought if I only got you off the property, my mother would be released and eventually so would we, but none of it was true! Everything I did was for nothing. I'm so sorry." He shakes his head.

"Nicholas, what happened to you?"

"They tried to convince me to try again, saying if I got you away from Andrew, he would let her go, but this time I knew it was a lie and refused. They hurt me, but I held out!" His voice sounds strangled. "They tried to convince me my family would not protect me after what I did." I could see Andrew getting upset, but ignore him and concentrate on Nicholas. "They tried to convince me my family would cast me aside."

"Nicholas, you know they would never do that! Despite all your disagreements, this place was established so that you could all work together. You are all connected. No one wins by hurting the other."

Desperation overtakes his features. "Mia, it isn't up to my family to decide my fate! I broke the rules. I helped facilitate a direct attack with those not allowed to enter this plane. The others were sent back and cannot return, but I was sent back so you could determine my fate. You have the power to send me there with the others to serve out my punishment!" He is panic stricken and grips my hand harder.

I try to comprehend that I have the power to avenge Katrina's death and condemn the one I blame for it. Is he playing me? I know how deceitful he can be.

"Mia, it's up to you." He states, his tone repentant and his eyes hold such terror I decide instantly that no one is that good at deceit.

"Nicholas, I forgive you and want you to stay with us so you can work with your family to find a way out for all of you. You have to know that he will never keep his word. His deceit will only lead you in circles so that your time will expire and you'll be his forever. Please Nicholas, no more games, no more manipulation!"

He stares at me in absolute disbelief that turns to relief. I see the red in his triangle dim. This is all too strange for me. I am dealing in unfathomable realms with mystical creatures that play with the lives of people around me like they are puppets for their own sick amusement.

He kisses my hand like a grateful child who is spared an awful punishment and his touch is cooling in my grasp, not as cool as the others, but not as warm as before. "Thank you!" He repeats over and over again before turning to Andrew. "I'm ready to try things your way."

Lack of sleep and stress are finally catching up with me. I want to check on the twins before resting. I turn to Andrew. "I'll leave you to talk." Rising, Nicholas releases my hand.

Walking down the hallway, I put on my jacket. "Are you alright? That couldn't have been easy." Andrew says appearing beside me.

Looking into his angelic face, I know without a doubt why I said what I did. "It was easier than I thought." Stroking his cheek, "I have a lot to fight for and maybe this will help bring you together. I can't bring Katrina back, but maybe some good can come from this tragedy. I believe what I said to you the other night about Jackson's theory, together you are closer to a solution than you probably realize. My sister and I never saw eye to eye, but I feel like a piece of me is missing, a part of me died with her. I don't want you suffering the same way if something were to happen to Nicholas."

He embraces me. "You are amazing beyond your years! I never met anyone like you. Let's check on the twins."

"Shouldn't you talk to Nicholas?"

"Nothing is going to happen tonight. Gabriel wants to get him focused to get an idea of what happened, so he requested that we put off talking."

We check on Katrina and then return. As I change, I hear Andrew put on the television. He has never done that before. Standing in the archway, I am surprised to see him stretched out on the couch with his arms outstretched inviting me to join him. My heart beats anxiously. I snuggle into his muscular chest. "What brought this on?"

"I thought you might enjoy something outside of the fantastical world even if it is only for a few hours. He hands me the remote. "I'm not sure what you like."

Searching, I find a history channel and try to keep my eyes focused on the screen, but every so often, I peer sideways and catch him gazing down at me. His arm rests on the top of the couch while his fingers caress the back of my neck causing tingles down my spine awakening my desire to get closer to him, kiss him. I wonder if he allows himself to think about me that way. As if answering my unspoken question, all of a sudden his cool lips are softly kissing my temple, moving down my cheek to my jaw line. My heart beats hyperactively as I fight an overwhelming desire to pull his broad shoulders closer and crawl into his lap. This isn't happening, I tell myself. I must have fallen asleep again. Oh no, not another image! Realizing we are still in same room, it has to be real. My cheeks flush, knowing he can feel my carotid artery pounding as his smooth lips sweep slowly down my neck, my blood races wildly throughout my entire body, heating it. I feel like I am standing too close to a furnace. Ever so softly he kisses my lips igniting my desire. I force my hands under my legs to resist grabbing him and kissing him back. Opening my eyes, I see my own desire mimicked in his. I cannot tear my stare away from his intense blue gaze so as to slow my accelerated breathing. I can hear his breathing, it's elevated too. He leans back into the couch, taking one of my imprisoned hands and pulling me back into his side. "I'm sorry." He whispers. "That wasn't fair." His words come rushing out. "You were just so amazing today and the most caring woman I have ever encountered. Ever since that first night when I kissed you, I longed to kiss you again, when I am more in control of myself, not taken off guard. I needed to know if I could kiss you while still keeping my emotions under control. I shouldn't have risked you like that. I'm sorry, it's no excuse, but sometimes I can't seem to stop myself from feeling drawn to you, from wanting..."

I can see his frustration building and don't want him to over think what happened. Fighting hard to concentrate as my heart continues pounding like an out of control drummer in a rock band, I speak softly, hoping to halt his approaching panic attack. "Andrew it's alright, you didn't risk me. I'm right here." As he leans into my free hand which is caressing his cheek, his beatific face softens and his perfect lips lift into a begrudging smile.

"You are here, aren't you?" He whispers.

"Can I ask you something?" I inquire softly.

"You can ask me anything."

"I was wondering how you felt?"

His smile becomes more pronounced. "Kissing you was everything I could have wanted!"

"What about your emotions, I mean?"

He hesitates. "I think if I'm not caught off guard, I can concentrate for brief periods of time so as not to put you at risk."

"So..." I say embarrassed.

"What?"

"Does that mean we may kiss again sometimes?"

He laughs. His angelic face bends close to mine and he brushes his perfect porcelain lips across my overheated ones.

I feel his pager vibrate. "So much for a few hours of normalcy, I'll see you in the morning." He rises.

"Is it Nicholas?"

"No, Mrs. Short."

"I'm sorry."

He kisses me swiftly. "Try to get some sleep while I'm gone."

Grabbing the afghan, I wrap it around me and place my head on the pillow saturated in his heavenly sent and drift into a blissful sleep. Waking at four thirty, I decide to go see Andrew. Heading down the hallway, I am surprised to hear my name. Turning, I see Nicholas and Gabriel.

"How are you feeling?"

"My mind is much better now. Andrew works wonders."

"I'm glad for you."

"Thank you again! I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for you." Nicholas smiles awkwardly at me.

I am puzzled, but Gabriel's face appears to be cautioning me. "I was going to see Andrew. Gabriel how is Mrs. Short?"

"She died an hour ago."

"How is Andrew?"

"He's fine and seems to have a new reason to be happy these days." He winks at me and I remember his gift.

He turns to Nicholas. "Are you going to help Catherine?"

"Yes, I promised her days ago and never showed." Then he's gone.

Gabriel turns back to me. "Mia, I know what happened and what you are hoping, but I caution you, don't push him. The thought of you becoming entrapped frightens him more than you can comprehend and it would destroy him if he turns you into the devil's pawn! I fear for him and think he is already in too deep, but his strength for self-denial clouds his thoughts."

"I promise not to push him, but please let this go wherever it is going. I know he is afraid, but I have hope that the darkness cannot hold a family as good as yours, but if I'm wrong, I can live with that too. I need him and in some ways, I think he needs me too!"

Andrew is on the telephone when I enter. Hanging up, he moves around the desk, sitting at the edge. His cool lips press to mine for only a brief second, but it is enough to send the energy of a lightning bolt into my heart and radiating throughout my entire body.

"Good morning beautiful. How did you sleep without your iron pillow?" He chuckles.

"You know how much I enjoy that pillow, but he left me with sweet thoughts and I managed to catch some dreams." He frowns, probably wondering what type of dreams, but as I smile, he finally laughs.

"Are you helping Gabriel in the greenhouse this afternoon?"

"Yes. Why?"

I was thinking about meeting you." His sky eyes have a hint of mischief.

"Not that I don't like new you, but I'm curious, what changed?"

His eyes turn crystal clear. "Watching you yesterday with Nicholas, I know how much courage it took for you to forgive him. Your actions and his response make me hopeful for the first time since our transformation that maybe we can work together to end some of this nightmare. I know we'll never change what we are, but to free ourselves from part of it... If we could, then maybe you and I could..." He stops and brings my hands to his lips kissing them gently.

Standing up, I slowly withdraw my hands from his and wrap them around him. "I'm hopeful too. I believe that you can do anything." Then I push my luck, just a little, kissing him, and snuggling myself into his neck.

We stay there until he turns his head kissing me. My pulse races erratically and I can feel his smile. "We better get to work. I'll see you in the nursery."

Entering the nursery, Andrew is holding a basket of fruits and vegetables. "I thought we were supposed to do this together?" I mock complain.

His responding laughter lights up his perfect features imprisoning my heart. "I'll be right back. There is something that needs your attention under the new apple tree." He kisses me swiftly, sending another lightning bolt through my heart. I wonder how many more of these charges my heart can take before it feels electrically charged all the time.

Walking toward the back, I see a sandwich, granny smith apple and thermos of coffee. Pouring some coffee, I see a note. To warm up your heart while I'm away, the way you warm up mine. A. He returns before I even picked up the sandwich. I try to eat, despite my hyperactive heart while he plays with the blanket strings or runs his cool fingers down the sleeve of my blouse, sending shivers throughout my being. Picking up a knife, he cuts an apple slice, holding it to my lips. "I hear they are delicious." He gently glides the wedge across my lips until they part and I sink my teeth into it. The slice is so juicy that a drop rolls down my lower lip. Andrew's index finger wipes it tenderly and he brings it up to his, tasting the exquisite juice. His pale blue eyes stare at me playfully. My pounding heart beats hyperactively and a long sigh escapes my lips. Watching my reaction, his playfulness is replaced with desire and he leans in toward me, his cool lips nestle into my neck. The tip of his nose brushes up my neck followed by soft, sweet kisses until his lips linger just below my ear. I can hear his accelerated breathing. His lips move across my jaw towards my lips. As his lips touch mine, my heart erupts like a volcano, sending overheated blood coursing through my veins like an out of control wildfire. Wrapping my arms around his perfectly sculpted back, I pull him closer. He reacts the same pulling me into his muscular chest. Passion consumes me as his lips possess me. He leans back and we are about to fall toward the ground, but reason finds him. He moves his hands to take mine, kissing them softly, before sitting back on his heels. My eyes flutter open, unaware of whether I will see desire or anguish in his. Have we gone too far? To my relief, his eyes are filled with desire. I force myself to sit back knowing that to do anything else will cause him question his choice. Locked in each other's stare, our hands intertwined, neither of us speaks. Letting go of one of my hands, he picks up another slice, handing it to me. "Maybe I should let you feed this to yourself." He smirks.

My heart finally slows to a hyperactive pounding. "I know apples are good for the heart, but I'm not sure mine could take another slice that way."

He burst out laughing and I laugh with him. I'm overjoyed and astounded to see him looking carefree and his age.

#  Chapter Twenty – My Parents' Arrival At Sanctuary

The next few weeks go along smoothly. The St. Clouds meet nightly trying to construct a factual synopsis regarding information that they have collected over the centuries, hoping it may reveal unrealized clues. After a few hours, Andrew and I go back to the suite and snuggle while I sleep, it's romantic, but never goes too far and I can tell he still broods and worries when he thinks too much about what we are doing. Although I am thankful no shared visions have appeared I'm also a little disappointed. If I wasn't so worried about his reaction, at least I could have him in my dreams.

Then comes the night I have been dreading. Startled awake by a midnight phone call, tears stream down my cheek before I hear my father's deadened voice informing me that my mother has become worse and forced him to call.

Andrew already has his cell and I hear him making travel arrangements which I convey to my father who practically hangs up on me when I ask if I can do anything else. Andrew takes the phone from my shaking hands, enfolding me in his embrace. When it becomes apparent that I cannot go back to sleep, he turns on the television, but mutes the volume. As he makes additional calls, I stare at the screen. As the program changes from the exploration of Mars to a story on Satan vs. God, I reach over to increase the sound. Andrew looks disapprovingly at me. It's strange listening to how different religions interpret the meanings of good and evil and such a war, while I sit next to a direct creation of it.

Despite Andrew's objections, I conduct rounds and work until he comes to tell me that they have arrived.

My mother looks as if she's aged twenty years, her face gaunt and frame frail. Her eyes strain to stay open. I lean down to kiss her. "Mom, I'm here. I love you."

"I love you too." She responds weakly.

My father looks haggard, "Dad, why didn't you call me to come up when she started failing?"

His tone is solemn. "I didn't want her coming here to a place where people have no hope."

Thankfully my mother fell back to sleep.

"Dad, please, she wanted to come and it will be good for both of you. Maybe you could..."

"I'm not dying! I'm only here for her." He growls before following the attendants.

Placing his arm around me, Andrew whispers. "Don't take it personally. He is lashing out. He is not ready to let go."

They settle my mother in the room next to Katrina's and I stay with her until my father returns from grabbing a bite to eat with Gabriel. It's touching to see how gentle and loving he is with her and I go and check on the twins, hoping to bring them back ultrasound pictures to bring some color into each of their cheeks.

Entering Katrina's room, the obstetrician and Jackson are there. "Try it now." Nicholas pops up from behind the ultrasound and I gasp unable to contain the horror at how close he is to the twins. His features turn panicked as his eyes lock on mine.

Jackson interjects breaking my trance. "He's here helping us, he's better than Catherine when it comes to clearing images."

I turn my gaze back to Nicholas, "I'm sorry, it was an involuntary reflex."

His features calm. "Considering what I did and what you know about me, I wouldn't expect any less, but really all I touched is the machinery."

The obstetrician interjects. "Come and see. He cleared up the image wonderfully." I am happy to learn they have grown and the obstetrician expects to take them in a few weeks. Silently I hope that my mother will be here to hold them once before joining my sister as an onlooker.

My mother is excited to see the pictures and loves that I am going to use the names Katrina picked. Despite her ashen complexion, her face lights up when I tell her Kayla's middle name will be hers.

Hoping to increase her strength, "Mom, what would you like to eat, we have the best cook here. Would you believe he is even teaching me how to cook?"

She laughs.

"He is very good Ann. He gave me some lobster bisque and stuffed sole which was excellent. Why he wastes his talents here is beyond me." He shakes his head.

Annoyed, "Dad, he's not just a cook, he is a medical researcher and owns this institution. He cooks to bring people happiness."

As if he was listening, Gabriel opens the door and places a bowl of bisque before her. Eyeing it nervously, she explains about her inability to really eat in the other hospitals. Gabriel assures her she can eat his soup and even makes her laugh commenting how all doubters must kiss the cook when finished. To everyone's surprise she finishes it all. We talk until she becomes tired. Kissing her good-bye, she whispers to settle my father before finishing work.

Tenderly he kisses her and then reluctantly follows me into the hallway. His features turn contentious. "You don't have to put yourself out on my account. I can stay on the couch in her room."

Before I can respond, Andrew is at my side. His voice is calm but authoritative. "Dr. Angelis, I understand that you are upset but I cannot allow my patient to endure any further strain from the unpleasantness you desire to express toward your daughter. I understand it's frustrating, being able to save so many while not be able to save the one closest to you, but as Mia's boss and friend, I need you to refrain from taking out your frustrations on her." An edge enters his voice and he pauses. "You have been through an extremely difficult ordeal, first with Katrina and now Ann, but Mia did not cause your wife's condition and she is also suffering. If you need to vent, I am here and would be more than happy to be your sounding board or even your sparring partner, but please do not berate your daughter. She is only trying to help. Now, please follow me, we have a beautiful room next to your wife. There is even a connecting door."

As he shows my father the room, he points out the comfortable clothing they secured, the latest research magazines and all of their contact numbers before slipping out leaving us alone.

"Dad, can I get you anything?"

"No, your boss is very efficient. I hope you're learning something from him, since I was never able to teach you anything."

"Dad that's not true. You taught me a lot. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. I know I didn't turn out the way you wanted and I'm sorry, but I am doing good here. So let us help you."

"Mia, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone now."

In the hallway, I lean against the wall closing my eyes.

"Are you alright?" A quiet voice surprises me.

I open my eyes. "I'm fine Nicholas, just some old demons coming home to roost."

He laughs. "I know it's not funny, but if anyone knows about old demons, it's me. Can I give you a little advice?" His tone turns serious.

"Sure, why not."

"Don't let the demons fill your eyes and become the only picture you see, once you do that, they've won and you're blinded from every other possibility. Trust me, I know, being a reformed demon myself." He chuckles. "I can tell from your conversations you two don't get along because of your choices and his stubbornness, but don't give up on him, he is going to need you and it will be very tough to remove the demons from his eyes, he's been holding on to them for far too long. Just remember what you told me that a family working together is much stronger. I have to get back, but I'll tell Andrew you're looking for him."

"No, he doesn't need to babysit me. I'm just going to sit with my mother."

"I'll see you later."

"Nicholas, I'm sorry again for my reaction in Katrina's room."

"Mia, you saved me, but I don't expect you to forget the part of me that I'm trying to change." He smiles shyly.

My mother is sleeping and I sit on the couch laying my head against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn't hear the door open but the cool touch sending an electric shock to my heart is comforting and I am greeted by Andrew's blindingly beautiful smile.

He wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry your father is being difficult."

"He's going through a lot." I snuggle into his cool chest, happy he is wearing my favorite pullover.

"I'm here for you. We all are. Don't let him undermine how far you have come. You worked very hard to get here, already dealt with so much and have much more coming. I don't want you to feel you're alone." He kisses me tenderly. My heart reacts as if I am on the speedway of the Indiana 500. I barely hear my mother's voice.

"He's right."

Springing up, I go over to her. "I'm sorry we woke you."

"You didn't. Sometimes I close my eyes and just listen. He's a good man and he's right. I'm so sorry we let blinders hurt you instead of supporting you."

"Mom if it weren't for you I wouldn't be here right now! I'm fine and we are good."

She stares at me, looks to him and beckons me closer. "I think you are fine now. Mia, he loves you, fight for him! You are good for each other. He is the ying to your yang. It's not good for either of you when you try to exist without the other. Trust me, I have some new inside information that I didn't have before." She chuckles softly.

My father walks in, so I kiss my mother and leave.

Andrew and I walk back to the residency. "I know how much you appreciate a hot shower, so why don't you enjoy that hot water, while I use the water in the kitchen to make you some tea and something to eat." He says before disappearing.

When I get out, my favorite sweats are waiting. He is spoiling me.

"I heard what your mother said" He states nonchalantly as I sit beside him.

"I figured you did. You know mothers can see what they hope, even when it's not there." I say hoping he is not upset.

"Mia, I'm not upset." His words surprise me. "She's right. You are my better half and I do feel lost when you're not around!" My pulse races as his soft, cloudless blue eyes meet mine. "I have been granted the most celestial of gifts in being able to spend time with you. You are unique, so don't ever let anyone make you feel otherwise." He leans forward and kisses me softly.

I want to kiss him too, but instead, take his strong hands, kissing them tenderly. "Thank you. I couldn't face this without you!"

Rising from the couch, I go to clean the dishes. I need a moment. No matter how brief his kisses, my head always spins. When I come back, he isn't there. Figuring he got beeped, I head toward my bedroom to get the computer and am shocked to see him sitting on the bed. He raises his arms as an invitation. I want to jump in bed, curl into his side, kiss his perfect lips and run my fingers over his sculpted abdomen and muscular arms all night. I immediately slap my imagination, halting my steamy thoughts, fearing they may lead to another erotic shared thought experience. I stand there, stock still, staring at him.

He sits up, his hand gesturing me forward. "It's alright. I won't have you miss out on being comfortable and another night's sleep because you're worried that my thoughts may go astray and that I'll be brooding in the morning." He laughs and I hear him mutter. "They are quite some thoughts though." I can't believe he thinks he is the one causing them when I'm sure it is my erratic and erotic thoughts gone wild that we share. I laugh. "Mia, I don't think it will happen again. You were right and they were just errant thoughts, although how we shared them, I'm unsure, but I know how to avoid it now." He holds up some files. Does he really think reading those will stop them? The angel on my shoulder reappears. Be careful, we're probably not wrong. Just then, the devilish one appears. He wants to spend time with you, why would you turn him down. He interrupts my internal argument. "Come on, I promise I won't bite." He laughs.

Knowing what I'm going to do, my little angel is shaking her head, but I ignore her. "Maybe it's my turn to give you something to drink." I step closer. "I probably have extra to spare, if you're hungry." I swing my hair to one side, exposing my neck as I move forward.

"That was a little over the top, don't you think?" He chuckles.

"Sorry, I'm a little rusty. I'll do better next time."

"Come here." He pulls my hand. I fall into bed next to him and curl into his side as he places the covers over me and tightens his arms around me.

"How can you read like this?" I tease.

"I have all night to read." As I look up at him, something changes, his eyes darken, his porcelain lips brush my cheek and move along my jaw as his fingertips glide up and down my arm gently sending tingling sensations throughout my body. His lips kiss the nape of my neck, my heart nearly stops. Desire consumes me and I feel my hands moving up his strong, muscular arms, across his broad shoulders, up his silken neck to his perfectly chiseled face, pulling his face toward mine. My rational side argues with me not to do this, screaming for me to stop before it's too late, but my devilish, hormone driven side, wins out and I kiss him. The forest surrounding us engulfs me and someone has lit a match. I can feel him shift away from me, allowing some space between us. Our eyes lock, he appears calmer now, but there is something else, distraction, confusion. I'm not quite sure, maybe he is caught off guard by his own actions too. His eyes are back to their beautiful crystal blue, yet underneath their steely gaze lay a passion and desire which mimics my own. Neither of us seems willing to break the connection. I am lost in his eyes, but for how long. I'm grateful that at least we are here and my thoughts seem to be my own. He finally breaks our silent cocoon. "Maybe you should sleep and I should read, before I lose my concentration. You're just too beautiful to resist." He kisses me on my head, gently.

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" He sounds amused and bemused.

"No one has ever referred to me that way and it is you who are too beautiful to resist, not me."

"Mia, if you could only see the woman I see. You are so beautiful on the inside and out, you're intelligent, caring and wonderful. The bright aura surrounding you reflects how very special you are. Never have I come across anyone that even remotely compares to you. I know you don't believe that because you have always allowed those with blinders on to define you. Trust me your aura is quite unique."

How can he think that I'm beautiful or unique? He is a Da Vinci masterpiece, while I am a child's watercolor paint by number gone terribly awry. Maybe he has been up here too long and alone too much. Even Gabriel experienced love. Maybe in his isolation, he has become delusional, if so, I can only hope he never gets help.

"Thank you for trying to make me feel good about myself, but you should know that I have no delusions about my personality or looks. At best my personality is somber and my looks are mediocre, but that has never bothered me."

He shakes his head and seems exasperated. "Mia, trust me, I have encountered attractive women and even some with wonderful souls, but none of them have ever compared to you!"

"Did you ever become involved with any?" I inquire, a little afraid of the answer.

He shakes his head. "Mia, I was unstable. When we fought, everything Nicholas did affected me. I never wanted to drag anyone into our existence. I don't want to drag you into our existence. If I was thinking clearly, I would force myself to behave, to keep my distance, but you mesmerize me body and soul! My longing and desire to be near you, to spend time with you clouds my perceptions and I have yet to find the strength to compel you to move on without me." His voice is soft, but I can hear his self-loathing in what he sees as a weakness in himself.

I sigh and decide to distract his thoughts away from us. "I know you said when Nicholas did something bad you felt weaker, but there seems to be more?"

"There was more." He hesitates.

He lived several lifetimes which I know nothing about, but I want to know him better. "Would you tell me?"

He sighs and then shakes his head making me think he won't tell me, but as I stare at him, my eyes pleading, willing him to tell me, he mutters. "When we were first changed, anytime Nicholas killed, I felt his spiked adrenaline as he took a life. I felt as if I was there, experiencing the killing, participating in the carnage. It became unbearable and I began fighting against his every feeling! After about one hundred years, I learned how to shut out the feelings, however, when we really began going against each other, my fighting his constant barrage of feelings weakened me to where I couldn't function, so I had to let them course through me and I was sure that he was doing the same. One day, I felt something else from him, pure joy, that I had never experienced myself. I didn't know what caused it until I noticed someone new, during one of our encounters. The way he looked at her, I knew he had fallen in love, but the darkness surrounding her was darker than I had ever seen. We were in Salem during the witch trials. He tried to protect her from them and us. One day, he left her behind to keep her safe from our confrontation, but they got to her burning her at the stake and sending the demon back to hell. The pain and suffering Nicholas experienced was crippling. He wanted to destroy himself, but I couldn't allow that so I had to weaken him and did! In fact that is the first time, everyone realized how dangerous our fighting each other was and worried we'd cause our own demise. Our division was not solving anything and would result in our suffering unending torture. The war that created us should have taught us that and we knew our destiny was tied together. After that though, he and I worked on being able to shut out the other's actions and feelings."

"Is that why you didn't know what happened to him?"

"I hadn't been impaired by his actions or he by mine since we came here. It became more of a bothersome memory that could sometimes be ignored." He glances at the clock. "I brought you here to rest, not keep you up with demonic stories." He chuckles, but his features tell me he regrets talking to me about this.

I sit up. "I want you to talk to me always. You are there for me and have been, even when I was unaware of it. Sleep is highly overrated." I smile. "Closeness, feeling that you can share things is rare. I spent the first part of my life not being able to share my hopes and most of the time my confusion, I don't want to do that here, not with you! I want us to be able to talk always. You are important to me. I want to know about your life before I knew you, the good and the bad."

I shift to my knees, grasping his hands. "I know that you feel as if you're tied to a table, forced to watch as a pendulum swings over your head, getting lower and closer to ending your existence and that of anyone you get involved with, plummeting all into the abyss of unending torture, but I can see beyond the blade and know that you will figure out how to dismount that pendulum before it strikes! I have that much faith in you!" I kiss his hands.

He turns tense. "What if your faith is misplaced and I can't solve this? What if everyone suffers, including those we become involved with? What if I'm placing you in such danger that you suffer..."

I remove my hand and cover his mouth. "Andrew, stop. Life is filled with uncertainties, you know this. Look at how many lifetimes you lived, did you ever envision such a thing? Nothing is guaranteed and you don't know what is going to happen, you only know what you have been told." Skimming his chin, neck and clavicle, I lift the pendant from underneath his shirt. "You know what you believe this means, but look at how far you have come. You believe your soul is trapped here." I open my fist so he can see it. "Isn't your soul your moral compass, your conscious? Considering how far your family has come, the conscience you all developed, the good you accomplished, doesn't that show you that you are stronger than any prison he tries to impose? You did not turn into savages when he ripped away your moral compass and trapped it here! I honestly believe that no abyss can hold you. You speak of my light, but your light cannot be contained. You have to realize that!" I can feel my grip tightening with each word of my impassioned plea. "The only power that he has over you is the power you allow him to have. Maybe the real prison isn't this at all, but the credit you give him, the control you allow him to have over your life, and the life and love that you have let him steal from you because you fear what might happen! This may be touchy, but does anyone really know what happened to Martina's soul or is it just supposition?"

He appears deep in thought. "We don't know for sure, we thought it would have stayed trapped and all our fates would be decided after the time ran out, but then she was gone." "Andrew, I don't claim to be any type of ecclesiastical scholar, but I remember that the basic concept seems to hold true no matter how much people try to complicate it. You say we have free will and how we act decides our afterlives. Your free will is impeded by the obstacles which have been thrust upon you. Despite that, you still do good work. I cannot believe that wouldn't count for something! I'm not saying that your soul is not held here or that the solution to the impending problem wouldn't free your mother's soul. All I'm saying is that I believe that the good your family has accomplished will be rewarded! You have been thrust into this surreal journey, but with each step, with each accomplishment, you're striving to do good will yield a solution. Good always triumphs over evil and I have not met any family who strives the way your family has, despite your beliefs that it is all for not! Most would have given up, but not you, and frankly you are the one who believes the strongest that it is all for not, yet you struggle every day to bring others peace before they move on." Staring into his amazing eyes, I know he is listening.

"Before I get off my soap box, I want you to know that I'm not just saying this so that you will consider moving forward with me or won't hesitate when we kiss, always thinking about ways to occupy your mind so that I am not planted in your heart." I take in a deep breath to ensure my voice reflects my convictions. "I believe what I am saying, to my very core! You will prevail, whether you allow me to move forward with you or not."

He shifts himself so that he is stretched out over me as if doing a push up, before I register his movement. The face that was so deep in thought now appears full of mischief. "So I hesitate when we kiss." He flexes his arms so that he is leaning down toward me, coming closer. My adrenaline spikes sending overheated blood coursing through my veins and a lightning bolt to my heart. Raising my hands, I wrap them around his neck. He kisses me tenderly and then straightens his arms so that his perfect body is again lingering over mine without contact. Keeping my hands around his neck, I try to pull him toward me. His strong arms hold him upright, I can't make him budge. He chuckles slightly.

"Are you sure I hesitate?" He says playfully.

My heart is pounding so loudly I can barely hear him. I nod my head.

Coming back down toward me, his cool lips caress my neck. His body stays suspended over me, close, but never quite touching mine. As his lips move to mine, kissing them softly, I try pulling him closer, but his iron arms do not move a millimeter. He rolls over and I am once again snuggled into his side. My chest rises rapidly as I gasp for air. Looking up, his glorious face is beaming, his perfect lips align in a triumphant smile, but his breathing is elevated.

"Would you like to rethink your thoughts about my hesitation?" He laughs.

"That depends."

"On what?" He asks curiously.

"If I still say that you hesitate, will you kiss me like that again?" I smile.

"I think you should try to sleep, you know how crabby you get when you haven't had enough." He teases.

"I think you're trying to distract me." I reply disgruntled and can see my tone doesn't go unnoticed.

"I am, but you should get some sleep." He leans down brushing his lips across mine briefly. "Now sleep, I'll see you in a few hours." He picks up a file. As my speeding heart finally slows, I notice he hasn't turned even one page and hope that doesn't mean I'll be waking up to one overanxious man in the morning.

#  Chapter Twenty-One – A Steamy Vision And An Unwelcomed Surprise

Hoping not to compound what he is obviously already thinking about with images that may come to mind, I try to cloud my thoughts with work, but my mind continues to focus on the kiss we just shared, how enticing and sensuous his stretched out perfectly fit body felt over mine, his cool caress on my overheated skin and his porcelain lips so soft and electrifying against mine. The little angel appears, shaking her head vigorously. Think about something else! She screams and to my surprise starts crooning nursery rhymes. I can't help but giggle in my subconscious and can even feel my body shake.

"What's so amusing?" I can hear Andrew mutter, but now that my mind is filled with innocent childhood phrases, I want to fall asleep; surely these thoughts will be safe. I shake my head and do not answer.

Just as I begin to feel comfortable, my little devil sneaks up behind the angel pushing her off my shoulder and begins whispering in my ear. That kiss was nice, but when he removed the broach allowing your dress to skim down your overheated skin so that he could take you in the water, that was hot. His warm, wet skin against yours, his overheated lips claiming yours as he pulled you into his strong embrace, making love to you in the sea, that was something... Just then, the angel grasps his ankle and tries to knock him down, as she shouts. Go back to the nursery rhymes. Peter, Peter... But it is too late. I try to wrench my eyes open to stop what I feel now is coming. Thinking I'm successful as my eyes focus on his sparkling blue eyes, I realize I have failed. His eyes are dark blue. He covers mine, we are moving and the atmosphere around us heats up quickly. I feel cool and damp instantly, it is a strange combination. "I won't let you fall, we're here."

I turn in his arms and open my eyes as his hand skims down my cheek, across my lips, slowly down my neck and sternum until it runs across my stomach and around my back. Looking up, his eyes are still ocean blue, his hair sandy not raven and he feels warm, alive as he pulls me into an embrace, kissing my lips. After a few moments, he speaks against my mouth. "Mrs. Greyson will you please stop distracting me." I realize my hands are grasping his scantily clad buttocks. "I want to show you your surprise." His tone is light and amused as he turns me around.

We are standing in a portico built over a hot spring with walls of tapestry. I turn back to him my eyes wide with surprise. His smile is blinding. "Do you like?" He inquires skimming my cheek with his knuckles.

I nod, but can't seem to find my voice. My body is too electrified with anticipation and desire.

"I know how much you enjoy the springs but after almost getting caught the last time by your sister," he laughs at some passing thought, "I figure something more private so I could take my time making love to my beautiful wife. Did I surprise you?" His eyes search mine anxiously.

I'm stunned, but not only at the surprise before me. He seems to have more information about this than I do. Thinking about all the lifetimes he has seen, maybe he is the one driving these images. Yet he is not really himself. He's alive for one, but then his facial features are also different. Although running my hands over his strong arms and sculpted abdomen, I am so grateful that this has remained unchanged. My racing pulse and hyperactive heart fuel my already overheated blood, pushing it through every crevice in my body unleashing my desire. Wrapping myself tightly around him, my lips claim his as my hands move greedily down his muscular back to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his torso. He deftly slips his arms out of the sleeves and pulls it over his head as I kiss first his right pectoral muscle then his left. Grabbing my face, his lips enthusiastically trap mine.

I am once again in that sarong type dress. His hands skim down my neck, across my clavicle, stopping at the brooch. Unclasping it, he shifts away from me slightly, allowing the material to skim down my body as his strong arms guide me deeper into the portico, behind the tapestry, never breaking contact with my lips.

Standing before him, his hand skims up and down my back, leaving tingles in its wake as his lips skim down my neck. We slide into the water together possessing each other body and soul.

Suddenly I am thrust back into the here and now as Andrew practically knocks me off the bed. I feel a draft as he breezes past me, a blur and is out the door before my mind fully comprehends my surroundings. My heart which was pulsing out of control because of the erotic encounter is now thrumming in fear. I want to chase after him, but as I shift to get out of bed, I am too lightheaded and sink to the floor. Placing my head between my knees, I try to slow my shallow breathing. My racing thoughts and fear that he left because of the visions bombard my mind, having the opposite affect and are now accompanied by aggravated tears, immobilizing me to my spot.

After what seems like hours, cool hands are lifting me off the floor. Andrew is back. Thank God. He is walking toward the couch. Sitting, with me in his lap, my eyes, through quieting tears register the concern in his.

We sit there silently, my aching head resting on his shoulder. "I didn't mean to frighten you." My eyes peer up to his. "I had to leave, I had to break..." He stops. He's embarrassed.

"You didn't frighten me. I know why you left and I...I just don't know what to say." I can see the uncertainty in his eyes which I'm sure mimics my own. What can I say really? Do I apologize for my erotic thoughts or are they his? Who is really driving these images? What if neither of us is and it really is what he feared in the first place, a form of manipulation? There are too many unanswered questions and too much that may be being thrown at us from a world that, although he has been thrust into, I don't think he knows enough about it to combat. As these thoughts mull through my mind, somewhere in my consciousness, I register, that the feelings and sensations I experienced are too real to be just images and their remnants remain with me still. Can they do that? Andrew interrupts my preoccupation.

"What are you thinking?" He mutters softly, I can hear his embarrassment.

My eyes shift down to the couch cushion. "It just seemed so real and felt like more than a dream." My voice is barely audible.

He slips his fingers under my chin, lifting my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. "Mia, I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. I know what I did is as bad as when you were..."

I raise my hand to his lips. "That's not true! How could you even compare yourself to him? Why would you say that?"

"Look at the way I am seeing you!" He thrusts his head back, bringing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose." Pulling at his arm, he finally lowers his hand, but still does not look at me.

"Andrew, please look at me. You have done nothing wrong and I don't feel victimized at all, so please don't even go there." Then I think of something hopefully to lighten his mood. "At least you have the decency to think of us married. We were having anniversary sex." My voice reflects my own amusement and his eyes finally meet mine again as he gives me a reluctant smile.

I don't realize that I'm doing it, but I'm the only ancient one among us and the time periods are even before me, so it has to be me. I thought I could control it, but obviously I'm wrong. I didn't even realize I was thinking like that, I was trying to fill my mind with other thoughts and then it just started." An unsuspecting giggle escapes my lips. "What's so funny?

"My subconscious came to me as a little angel on my shoulder filling my mind with nursery rhymes so I wouldn't think of you that way."

He bursts out laughing despite himself. "Maybe I should try that."

"Seriously, Andrew we don't know whether it's you or me. We don't know what is causing these, but it just can't be our imagination, especially since we seem to be sharing the same images. Has anything like this ever happened to you before?"

"No, and none of my siblings ever spoke of anything like this. That's why I considered that it could be manipulation, but if it is, why don't I look like myself? Why the changes, the lingering sensations, the warmth? None of it makes any sense and in truth you look so happy, so content, it makes me more anxious to hold on to my resolve so that you can have that life..." He sighs heavily, but stops as soon as he sees me shake my head and pout. Why can't he realize that I was happy in those images because I was with him and that all I want is him no matter what our eternity holds? He rises. Maybe he does realize it and just can't talk about it right now and I am not going to push him because it will only cause him to build his resolve and I don't think either of us has enough information to solve this surreal puzzle. "Since I impaired your sleep, I think I'll make you some breakfast so at least your sleep deprived body will be well nourished, unless I can talk you into sleeping now and letting Eva take your rounds." He looks at me hopeful.

Glancing at the clock it's 5:00. I shake my head. "No, I think I'll take my rounds and I can make breakfast."

Before going on rounds, we see my mother and even get her, over my father's objection, downstairs mingling with the other patients. She seems much happier as I leave; talking with John and even my father appears relieved.

Over the next few days my parents mingle each day and although my mom is happy, I can see her getting weaker.

The obstetrician is coming tomorrow. Hopefully, he will find the twins strong enough to take them. I desperately want my mother to feel their love and warmth before she passes.

Arriving at my mother's room, I get a surprise I am not expecting and my father did not warn me about. Stephan is sitting by her bedside, his glare freezes my blood. I stand immobile, but see my mother is sleeping. He rises, grabs my arm, and speaks in a low menacing tone. "Outside - now" Dragging me out into the hallway, grasping my arms tightly, he practically spits in my face. "Do you see how frail she looks? Is there anything that you people are doing at all to help her or are you just letting her rot and die here!"

Before I respond, Andrew is beside me. In less than a millisecond, he releases Stephan's grasp and I feel the blood rushing through my arms. After crossing Stephan's arms in front of his chest, Andrew places his arms on mine and rubs them. "Stephan, I would appreciate you keeping your hands to yourself while you are in my hospital and forever keeping your hands off Mia!" His voice is cold, authoritative.

Turning, the fierce look in Andrew's eyes makes them appear almost fiery, making him look frightening. "Andrew it's alright. He is just concerned."

"You're damn right I'm concerned, mom looks terrible! Father sounds resigned to her death and seeing this, I'm worried about Katrina's children! I will do everything in my power to assure that Katrina's children do not suffer at your hands. If they are left with you, they will turn out just like you, a useless failure!"

I hear a guttural growl from Andrew and Jackson appears, his hands restraining Andrew. I stand between Andrew and Stephan afraid this confrontation will get out of hand. Eva is now beside Andrew whispering in his ear. His body relaxes slightly.

Stephan seizes the opportunity to attack again. "So you need others to fight your battles! It seems you landed in the perfect place, didn't you?"

Jackson grips down harder.

"I don't need anyone to tell you to back off! I don't know who you think you are, but you're right, dad has made peace with this and I suggest you do the same! She can't get better and her dying wish is to see what's left of her family at peace. I don't know if you and dad can come down off of your self-righteous pedestals to give her that, but I will continue the farce that everything is fine so that her last days are not riddled with anguish at seeing her fragmented family feuding..."I fight the tears, refusing to let him have this victory too. Eva's arms replace Jackson's as he moves toward Stephan, practically lifting him off the floor with one arm around him. "Dr. Angelis, I believe you and I should chat, please come with me."

Eva whispers something again before releasing Andrew, She touches my arm. "Don't let him get to you."

Wrapping his arms around me, Andrew kisses my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to add to your angst. Did I frighten you?"

"No, you just surprised me. Stephan's god like complex makes him unable to accept this."

Andrew fights to keep his angry tone quiet. "He has no right to speak to you that way and I will not tolerate it in my presence! You need to stop making excuses for him and I don't want you worrying about custody. Judge Thompson assured me that David's papers will stand up."

I didn't see my father coming down the hall. "So my suspicions are correct, you are involved with your boss! Do you really think that is wise Mia considering your history?" He states coldly.

"Dr. Angelis, please refrain from demeaning your daughter, your son has already done quite enough damage today. You both would do better to concentrate on Ann for the next few days instead of your petty grievances. Your daughter is a wonderful physician and an even better human being! It would behoove you to take time to get to know her."

My father assumes a staunch demeanor. "Andrew, I appreciate what you are doing for Ann, she is much happier and I thank you for that. However, my daughter and my relationship is really none of your business! You are obviously blinded by your feelings, but as one physician to another, she is erratic and undependable. Do you even know the mishaps which led her here? A young girl died because of her inactions and her arguing with a physician caused him to be distracted and probably led to another patient's death! If you insist on keeping her here, you may consider moving her to this building where she cannot do any harm."

Andrew's tension explodes, his muscles are so rigid behind me, they feel as if they will snap. Turning, I place my hand on his face, hoping to calm him as my cautioning eyes meet his fury filled ones. Giving me a nod to show he is infuriated but in control, he speaks forcefully. "Dr. Angelis, I know your daughter's history and we feel privileged having her here. The girl on the train could not be saved, but your daughter's attention assured her that she was not alone in her most frightening hour. I understand physicians must detach themselves to treat patients and that is why you never got along. Mia can't detach herself from the people who need help beyond mere physical treatment. That is why your training never fit her. She has a gift to see the mental anguish patients suffer and the emotional void that they need assistance filling, she aids them in that realm, one which most of us cannot see. As far as the young boy which you and your son spend so much time chastising her over, maybe you should read the reports. If the physician treating him wasn't so self-absorbed with his being right and listened to what he referred to Mia as, a 'mere intern', maybe the patient would be alive today! I know that you have a lot on your mind sir, but it is essential for the wellbeing of my patient, as well as one of my staff members, that you and your son learn to behave yourselves! Ann needs to feel her family is not fragmented, even if it is an illusion and I will not allow you or your son to challenge your daughter's capabilities in my hospital! Each staff member is special, knowledgeable and competent and I recommend you treat them as such and in return we will assure that you want for nothing. Now if you will excuse us, I think you need to spend time with Ann and I need to speak with Dr. Angelis."

Moving down the hallway, Andrew's features are frozen. I hear voices as we pass his office. He grabs my jacket.

"Aren't we going to your office?"

"It may be better if I am far away from your brother and father right now. Besides, your mother could use a hostile free visit."

Outside, he lifts me into his arms. "What are you doing?" I protest.

His features thaw. "I'm taking you somewhere special and don't want you to freeze on the way." We travel swiftly. He brings me to the cabin. "Relax while I start a fire."

Sitting on the couch in front of a stone hearth, I watch him place logs on the metal grate. Within minutes there is a toasty fire. I take off my jacket.

He sits by me. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize your brother arrived. I hated watching him and your father speak to you like that."

"It was nothing. I don't even listen anymore." I say breathlessly, fighting to calm my already hyperactive heart from watching the flames reflect in his beautiful sky eyes, making them look playful. "It took me much less time to learn how to tune out the negativity in my life. Maybe if we met in one of your earlier lifetimes, I could have given you lessons." I chuckle trying to lighten his mood.

He smiles, but his glorious eyes still maintain a degree of anger.

"Andrew, is this where you took me after the accident?"

"Yes. Not knowing what Nicholas was up to, we thought it best to stay away from the hospital." Leaning my head into his chest, I'm relieved he doesn't tense beneath me and surprised when he shifts my legs over his. I enjoy the cracking of the fire and peaceful quiet.

Andrew moves his arms under my arm and knees rising. Stepping toward a closed door, I gasp, thinking we are sharing an image again, but his eyes are still sky blue and our surroundings remain unchanged. I can't help but wonder if the images did get to him and we came here to...I can't let my mind go there and bite my lip hoping to stop my erratic breathing.

Andrew opens the door and we are hit with warm moist air immediately. Looking inside, I see an oversized Jacuzzi which seems so out of place.

A huge smile lightens his features. "Not what you thought is it?"

Embarrassed, I look down. He releases me and his cool fingers lift my chin. I try to keep my eyes down. "Mia, look at me." As I do, he brushes his porcelain lips over mine, spiking my adrenaline which burns away my embarrassment. "Jackson put this in. They use it as a getaway. I thought you could use it. Eva placed your swimsuit on the shelf. I'll let you get changed.

My eyes glance to my suit and I see a man's swimsuit underneath. "Are you joining me?" I ask hopefully.

His eyes shift to the suits and then back to me. His responds hesitantly. "I had intended to, but after what we saw last night, I should stay by the fire so you can have time to relax."

Not being able to admit that I would love to hold him the way I saw in the portico, I try another tactic. "Being near you helps me relax. I wish you could push that aside and join me." Embolden by the images, I gently stroke his hand. My tone surprises me. I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. "Please"

He smiles. "Get changed and I'll be in shortly. The water is very relaxing." He grabs his suit and shuts the door behind him.

#  Chapter Twenty-Two – A Piercing Realization Shatters Momentary Peace

Picking up my suit, I realize Eva grabbed the one that's cut low in front and high on the sides. I shake my head remembering how I let my girlfriend talk me into buying it, despite my better judgment. Not wanting him to see how terrible I look in it, I quickly change and slip into the water. When the door opens, Andrew is sporting black swim trunks. The images we shared did not do him justice. His broad shoulders are definitely needed to support his strong muscular arms and compliment his muscular chest and ribbed abdomen. His strong legs are all muscle. I cannot tear my eyes from him and can feel desire unfurling within me. Immediately, before my subconscious angel can even appear, I slip my hands under my knees and begin running nursery rhymes. Despite what he thinks, he may not be calling up these images and I want to spend time with him here.

Smiling, he steps into the water. Placing his cool arm behind my neck, I run the simplest rhyme repeatedly to stop the shiver of desire running through me. "Are you feeling any better?"

I nod, not wanting to break my mantra and try to concentrate on keeping my hands securely under my legs.

His free hand dips into the water, skims gently down my arm searching for my hand. "Mia, it's alright. I promise." Taking my hand in his, he caresses it gently with his thumb.

We sit quietly, each probably concentrating on our own distraction, enjoying the comforting water. His caress feels warmer in the hot water and I find myself pulling his hand toward my lips, kissing it. As the subconscious angel rears her head, I force myself to return our hands to the bench.

I feel a strange pull on my body, but then Andrew suddenly raises our intertwined hands to his lips, kissing first my palm and then moving his perfect lips to my wrist and slowly up my arm. See what you did, you lit his spark. She shakes her head and my devilish side knocks her off my shoulder. They both disappear. Andrew's lips caress my collarbone moving slowly to nape of my neck. My concentration shatters and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His lips brush mine, kissing me tenderly. Opening my eyes, I see his lovely sky eyes staring at me longingly. His hands move to my wrists, gently bringing our hands between us. He leans over to kiss me again, but this time with our arms safely between us.

As the fog overshadowing my shattered concentration lifts, I think I hear him mutter "At least the image stopped," but can see him struggling to back away from the emotional line he fears crossing. I move myself to the side allowing some distance between us and he places his arm behind my neck as we lien back to catch our breath. Peering sideways, I see his desire flare before he closes his eyes in concentration.

"This jacuzzi is very good. I can see why Jackson and Eva find it so appealing."

He nods his head in acknowledgment, but does not open his eyes.

I marvel at his perfection, unable to beat back my desire to be with this man. He is not only perfect in every physical way, but his constant striving makes him perfect on the inside as well. His only flaw is failing to give himself enough credit.

Opening his eyes, he rises. "I should let you enjoy this alone so you can relax." He moves forward, but I grip his hand tighter knowing he is too much of a gentleman to rip it from me. "Mia, I brought you here to get away from complications, not to..."

"Please sit." My voice commands and as he does, I move my hands to his face so he cannot turn away. "You do not complicate my existence. I love spending time with you. I know that you think this is wrong and you worry about the visions passing between us, but we are not wrong, you have to believe that!"

"Mia, I would be lying if I said that I didn't want you. From what we've seen, I think that's obvious." He sounds aggravated with himself as he shakes his head. "I love being close to you, but even if I can successfully fight my feelings back to save you from becoming ensnared in our doomed existence, I am not allowing you to live a life with someone who can wake up every morning and tell you they love you. You deserve to hear nothing less! I can't allow myself to fully commit to you." Utter frustration exudes from every word. "To save you, I would always have to keep a piece of my heart from you, bad enough it's dead, cold and still already." He chuckles at his own bad joke. "You deserve to be happy, to have someone commit to you and the two children you are lovingly accepting. I can't give you that life, but I don't want to let you go!" His voice fills with anguish.

My hands grasp his tightly. "You do make me happy, can't you see that? I want to be with you. I don't feel as if I am missing anything! No one has ever made me feel as cherished and protected as you do, despite everything that goes on around us and frankly, no matter what you believe, I am not willing to give that up!" I move our intertwined hands over his heart. "Your heart is not still or cold, no matter what you believe and the part that you have shared with me is more than most people ever have. I am a big girl and have decided that we belong together. How far you allow this to go is ultimately up to you, but if you can only give me what we have now, that is alright too!" I respond fiercely. "The words I love you are just that-words and if I never hear them from you, I still would not feel deprived of anything! Your heart is so loving and giving that even if you are persistent enough to hold some of it back, I'm sure that the lifetime I would share with you, would be a gift unlike any other that has ever been bestowed on someone. I'm not afraid of anything that we would have to face as long as we are together!"

His features soften. "You are giving me far too much credit."

"You don't give yourself enough!" I retort.

"Mia, you need to consider what I am. Even if you could ignore my keeping a piece of my heart from you, without being able to commit to you, I can't..." He takes in a deep breath. "How can I deny you that, especially after what we've seen and felt? It's just..."

Knowing where he is heading, I move our hands to his lips. "I understand because of your father the values you feel tied to. I'm a big girl and do not need that type of relationship to feel fulfilled either." My devil appears. No but you really enjoy that side don't you? I hate to admit he is right and can't hesitate in talking to Andrew. I can't let him feel that I would be missing anything. "What we share when we are together is so much more than anything I could have ever imagined, it's enough for me." I say snuggling into his side. My errant thoughts wonder if he does maintain that type of distance would the images continue and if so, would those feelings fulfill me or frustrate me as I lie beside him each night. I'm shocked when we both shake our heads at the same time. Maybe we are sharing thoughts now as well. I close my eyes and try to just enjoy the water.

We allow the warm jets to stream over us, caressing away all the stresses of the day. I open my eyes when he sighs. "We better get back."

"I'll let you get out first." I mutter still embarrassed about the suit.

"Not a chance." He smiles. "You got to stare at me getting in; it's only fair that I get to see how beautiful you look in your suit getting out." His facial features become overly innocent and I'm glad to see our talk didn't make him worrisome or moody, but I still don't move. "Would you deny my seeing how beautiful you look in your flattering suit?"

I scowl. "I let someone talk me into this even though it isn't the right style."

"Do you trust my opinion?" He smiles slyly.

"I know what you're doing. I trust your opinion, but you're a little prejudice."

"Indulge me then."

I stand up begrudgingly and face him. "See, I'm more of the sporting type."

Rising, he wraps his arms around my waist. "You're wrong this is very flattering to your figure." He kisses me and takes in a deep breath. "I'd better let you get out."

Wrapping myself in a towel, I walk into the other room and dress by the toasty fire. Watching him put out the fire, I sigh. This time makes all my family's unpleasant encounters vanish.

He helps me with my coat. "We'll be back momentarily. I believe your brother will be on his best behavior from now on!" As he lifts me, I see something menacing in his eyes and wonder exactly what Jackson did.

My mother is sitting downstairs staring at the mantle picture.

"You look better, how do you feel?"

"Mia, don't lie. I know that it's almost time. I'm alright with it, but I need something from you. I know I'm asking a lot, but know you have it in your heart to do it, despite our failing to listen to you growing up and what your brother thinks he is going to put you through. You need to help your father and brother cope with the fact that they could not save me or Katrina. I need you to assure me that the children will be part of their lives too."

Wrestling with my bubbling emotions, trying to decide how to lie to her, my eyes dart between her anxious face and Andrew who is deep in conversation with Jackson when it hits me. I do need to do the right thing. Good needs to prevail from the ashes of this fractured family. They have done right by me; I just never realized it until this moment. If it wasn't for their blinders, I would have never come here! They bestowed the greatest gift upon me because their actions led me to Andrew.

I take her hand. "Mom, I promise that I will do all I can to help them and that the children will know them."

"Mia, I need you to do something else for me."

Afraid of what else she may want, I hesitate. "What do you need?"

"I need to speak with Andrew in private before your father and brother come back over." I glance and see them in conversation in the corner and rise to get Andrew.

"Can my mom speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure, let's go." I hold still.

"She wants to speak with you alone."

He glances over to Stephan and my father.

"She can stay with me." Jackson interjects. "So how did you enjoy the Jacuzzi?" He asks smugly.

Hitting him on the shoulder, he laughs.

"I'm rather jealous." His tone sounds earnest.

I'm bemused. "About what?"

"Your progress with Andrew is much faster than mine was with Eva. We always figured he would be a much stronger hold out. Although, I must admit his self-delusion is quite impressive. I have never seen a man in love so deeply, yet so unwilling to admit it to himself. He may just be able to keep you from getting ensnared yet, but seriously even if he can, there is still a lot that you need to consider." I'm puzzled.

"Mia, you know what we are. Whether we figure out how to escape our imprisonment or not, we can't escape what we have become or what that means to our existence."

I stare at him as the gravity of what he's saying finally registers. My mind has been so confounded by the other issues that I never considered his immortality came from his being a vampire. His situation will never end, not really. I feel sick. We truly can't be together forever.

"Mia, are you alright? Maybe you should sit down."

"I'm fine. It's just that only now is it registering that this is the reason for your immortality and not whether you find a solution to the puzzle. I knew it in the back of my mind, but I guess that Andrew isn't the only one who is artful in delusion. For some reason, I always thought that once you solved the puzzle, you would be able to live a normal life. I pictured us raising Katrina's children, maybe having some of our own and growing old together, but that won't happen, at least not for him." Unbearable sadness engulfs me. Even if he did solve everything in my lifetime, we would still be separated for all eternity when I died. Mist stings my eyes. I know it won't be long before tears stream down my cheeks.

"Jackson, I need some time alone." Without lifting my eyes, I quickly retreat to Katrina's room, knowing if Andrew sees me leave the building, he will follow. The idea of being separated from him is too much. I begin to sob. I feel as if an animal is attacking my heart with its vicious claws, ripping it apart slowly and painfully. I clutch my chest trying to dull the pain. I place my hand over my mouth to muffle the sobs.

The door bursts open and to my horror, Nicholas flies in, his eyes darting frantically, searching for something. He moves to me. "Are you hurt? Were they here?" His voice sounds panicked.

I struggle to speak but my throbbing heart renders me mute.

"Mia just point in the direction where the person who hurt you escaped. I'll go after them and get help on the way." His face twists in horror when I point to myself.

Realizing what he is thinking, I force myself to speak. "I'm not hurt, I...I didn't think anyone could hear me...I'm sorry."

Relief washes over his features and with trepidation he sits by me. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No." I continue crying. His hand stretches toward me and then recoils.

"Maybe it would help to talk about it." He hesitates.

I didn't mean to blurt it out, especially in front of Nicholas. "Andrew is a vampire...no matter what happens...we will be separated forever." My voice is jagged.

He starts laughing. "Is that what brought this on? Mia, even I can fix that problem for you. It's the other problem that you can't get around." His behavior and statement bring me up short. How can he fix it? Horror washes over me. Is he considering killing his brother? My widening eyes fixate on him. "What did I say wrong? Becoming a vampire isn't that scary. Look at the advantages. At least you would be together always." His tone is quite matter of fact.

How dense am I? Are my brother and father right that I'm incapable of solving problems when the solutions are right in front of me? I never even considered that possibility. Without thinking, I throw my arms around Nicholas. "Thank you!"

Andrew opens the door. He takes one look at my face and who is near me and his hands are immediately gripping Nicholas, pulling him to his feet. The sound coming from him is truly frightening.

"Andrew, stop!" I shout. "He didn't do anything!"

Jackson is now in the room. "Jackson grab Andrew! Nicholas didn't do anything...you know that!"

Jackson grabs his upper arms before Andrew can shake him off. I wedge myself under Andrew's now outstretched, taut arms so that I'm standing between Andrew and Nicholas. I place my hands on Andrew's fierce face. "Andrew, look at me! Let Nicholas go! He found me in here looking like this and thought I was hurt. He didn't do anything but try to help me. I swear. Please, let him go!"

Andrew and Jackson both remove their hands.

"What happened?" He asks anxiously.

"I was trying to muffle my crying and Nicholas stormed in thinking I was being attacked. It wasn't his fault, it was all me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause this uproar!"

Andrew embraces me, rubbing my back gently. "Nicholas, I'm sorry. It's just that when I saw her face, I thought..."

"I know exactly what you thought. If she was with me, I would have thought the same thing, given my history, but Andrew I am trying to change. I saw things the night when they grabbed me that put everything in perspective. I'm still trying to figure some of it out and I'll let you know when I do, but really, I wasn't trying to hurt her. She is telling you the truth. Honestly, you're hurting her more than I ever could!"

"I would never hurt her!" He bellows.

"No! What do you think brought this on?" He shouts, gesturing toward my face. "This is because of you!"

"That's not fair." Jackson interjects, realizing what caused my despondence. "He is only trying to protect her!"

Andrew whirls around with me in his arms making my stomach lurch. "What do you know about this?" He demands.

"When we were talking, I mentioned something I thought she had considered, but I was wrong. Taking into account everything else that is going on around her, she became a little emotional." He says trying to calm the situation.

"Will someone please clue me in to what went on when I went to speak with your mother?" He looks anxiously at me. "Is what your mother and I were discussing upsetting you?"

I shake my head. "I don't know what she wanted to say to you. It's just been an emotional few days and I am overreacting, that's all." I look toward Jackson hoping that he will keep quiet, but before I can catch Nicholas' eye...

"How do you live in such self-denial Andrew? Can't you see that she is terrified of losing you? You of all people, the one who cared for a despondent Gabriel when Martina disappeared and weakened me, should know." His voice sounds exasperated and he speaks as if talking to a child, slow and deliberate. "She can't stand the thought of being separated from you, losing you. Even you can't be this blind!"

Andrew cups my face in his strong hands, his eyes full of compassion. "I promise you that I am not going anywhere! I thought you realized that."

I blurted it out so easily to Nicholas, so why can't I tell Andrew? "I know what you said. It's not you, it's me!" My voice sounds shaky. I see a look pass between Jackson and Nicholas, but Nicholas speaks, much to my horror.

"She isn't afraid that you'll leave her now, she fears when..."

"Nicholas, don't do this!" I shout.

"Mia, he has to know! He needs to understand that his trying to protect you is only hurting you more." I'm surprised but he does sound concerned for me. "She is afraid of what happens when her soul has leaves this plane. You will be stuck here, while she is stuck there. Did you think this through Andrew, because it is highly doubtful that she will be allowed to return as your guardian angel?" He states sourly.

My mouth falls open in horror. I cannot even look at Andrew.

"I need to leave." I say quietly to the floor. "I can't do this now!" I try shrugging out of his grip. He doesn't let me go, but then someone's hands are upon his and I'm free. I fly out and down the stairs. Stephan approaches me, but I put my hand up hoping my mother doesn't see. "Not now, anything you have to say will have to wait." My voice is low, angry and he halts.

I run out without even my coat. I am so numb that the cold doesn't even register.

Safely in my room, I close the door and collapse, allowing the tears to flow freely as images of my floating in an abyss flow through my thoughts, not even sure if my surroundings are heaven or hell because it doesn't matter. Trapped in my own personal hell, I won't need any demons to torture me. The idea alone of being separated from Andrew rips at my heart. I feel as if a bear is clawing away at my skin taking one layer at a time while a demon sets my innards ablaze. If this feeling is based only upon the thought of being separated from him, I know the actual separation will be worse. If I do make it to heaven, would God grant me an occasional glance at Andrew to provide me some relief or would He be angry at my unwillingness to be grateful for the admission into paradise and ship me to the remotest part of heaven that would not even permit the briefest glances? Then again, maybe He would just cast me down into hell.

This surreal world and the powerful images before me are too much. My mind drifts to black.

His cool hands stroke my face. I am no longer on the floor, but fear opening my eyes, unsure of what I will see in his.

"Mia, please open your eyes. I know you can hear me." His voice has no trace of anger, just concern.

To my surprise, he doesn't look upset at all. Sitting up, he continues stroking my cheek, while scrutinizing my face. I feel strange, numb.

"Mia, I have been so blind. I was so worried about protecting you from all of this, that I didn't see that my actions are hurting you the most! Can you forgive me?" His voice is repentant.

"Forgive you for what, for always being honest with me and trying to do the right thing no matter how much I push you or for trying to save me! I am the one who should beg your forgiveness. You have your life, the lives of your siblings and parents on your shoulders and the consequences of your ability to solve a puzzle which embroils your eternity. These issues span far beyond one lifetime and in I walk to complicate your existence even further! I monopolize your time when you could be looking for solutions. I am sure that I'm worse than any case that has ever crossed your path. Then to top it off, I have to add my mania and my own family problems. I should be a good person and back off, especially considering what you have to do!"

"Stop this now!" He interrupts angrily. "You haven't done anything wrong. You are the only reason I feel alive for the first time since we were cast into this absurd and sick predicament. My being able to be with you is the only good part of this whole thing! If it wasn't for what happened, I would have been dead without having the blessing of you crossing my path." His voice is impassioned. "You don't monopolize my time. I am the one who is stopping you from having a life, from moving forward. I cast you into this surreal world with us where you are surrounded every day by an insanity which is beyond my comprehension and I've had five hundred years to try to understand it all and still can't!" His hands grasp mine. "I never expected to become involved with someone so I never considered all the pressure this would impose upon you. You are so accepting, so understanding that I became complacent. I didn't think through all the levels of complication that any type of relationship would cause. Your mother and my brother are right. We have a lot to discuss. The good thing is, is that we have time! Mia, we will work this out, I promise." He kisses my head. "You have so much to deal with right now. Christian will be here early this evening. He may take the twins today. I think that you need to focus on that right now and prepare yourself for the loss of your mother. You are going to go through intense emotions, joy for the new lives that are entering and sorrow for the losses that you suffered and that are coming. Not to mention, if your brother doesn't listen and starts a custody battle. We don't need to add anything else to this emotional roller coaster! This will wait until you are not being pulled in so many different directions."

He takes in a deep breath, allowing me to process his words. "You and I have some very important decisions to make, but not while you're bombarded by other things and cannot think about the consequences clearly. You are right! I can't impose my fears and what I think is right upon you. I can't make the decision for you, we must make together, but I will make absolutely sure that you have had time to consider all of this carefully, without fear that one of us will walk out on the other if he doesn't like what he hears."

I lean my forehead against his. "Thank you."

Wrapping me in his strong arms, he kisses the top of my head again. "I'm sorry I didn't see the additional pressure and anxiety my taking the choice out of your hands placed upon you." As he leans back into the headboard, I close my eyes, but sleep will not find me. My thoughts are filled with the twins' arrival, my mother joining the war between angels and demons and his new revelations. Seeing the love between my parents, I wonder how she really feels about the impending separation from my father and if she finds comfort knowing they will be reunited in their eternity. I believe love transcends such barriers, but in what form? Switching tracts, I think about the love between parent and child. Remembering David's letters, I leap out of bed and cross the room.

"What's wrong?" Andrew's tone reflects his concern.

"Nothing, I remembered a solution to my Stephan problem. David said that if I had a problem to give him..." I pull out the envelope. "This"

"It's not open."

"I figure if David wanted me to see it he wouldn't have sealed it."

"Mia, maybe you should open it." His voice sounds concerned. "Once you hand it to Stephan the information will be lost. Maybe you should have a copy in case it doesn't stop him."

"I'm not sure."

"I understand you want to honor his privacy, but I need to protect you. May I see it?" He holds out his hand.

"Do you promise not to tell me anything unless it doesn't stop him?"

"I promise."

He leaves and later returns with the letter intact, but appears to have his answers.

# Chapter Twenty-Three – The Arrival

Fixing coffee to take with me, Andrew places his hand on mine. "Mia, your mother is weak this morning. It's going to be close as to whether she can hang on to see her grandchildren. I called Christian, he is coming early. You should spend time with her. Eva has your rounds covered."

Fighting the tears, I want her last moments to be happy. I pray Christian will make it in time so that she could hold them before joining Katrina and David. I feel shaky. "Come on, let's go."

"Mia, I'm sorry that I couldn't give you more time." He embraces me.

"You did give me time and her a sense of peace."

When we arrive, she is looking at a photo album of when we were children. We look through them. There is even one of me holding the box with the eagle. It's strange to realize that was the first contact I had with Andrew.

He steps in to tell me Christian arrived and glances over my shoulder. He chuckles.

"Mom, I love you. Stay strong for me ok." She looks up and smiles, but I see the vacant look creeping into her soft hazel eyes.

Christian appears pleased. "We'll be calling you mom shortly.

Will you be coming Mia?"

"Can I?"

"Of course"

I grab Andrew's hand. "Will you come with me? I'm nervous."

He stares at me. "Are you sure?"

"After seeing so much death, I think you deserve to welcome in new life, don't you." His eyes sparkle.

The operating room looks prepared for any possibility. Eva and Catherine are standing in between two incubators and two warming tables. I'm confused.

"Don't worry, Catherine was a nurse and even a trauma surgeon in Rome and Eva has been a surgical assistant and a pediatrician." Andrew says reassuringly. "When you live as long as we have you move around quite often. We stayed in the medical field, but have several specialties."

I hear the babies' heart beats echo. They sound strong. Andrew wraps his arms around me, kisses me, then goes to assist Christian. Nicholas comes out first with quite a set of lungs on him. Christian turns to me. "Would you like to do the honors? He hands me the scissors. My hands are shaking when he places Nicholas in my arms and my heart melts. "Welcome to the world." I whisper kissing his head. Eva comes beside me. "Mia, can I take him? We need to do a few things. Besides, you will want your hands free." She points to Kayla Ann.

Christian's face turns serious. I realize she isn't crying. Fear grips my heart as I stare at Andrew. "It's alright Mia, just give Christian a moment." Although his voice sounds unalarmed, the room begins to spin as I forget to breathe.

Catherine comes behind me, her cold hands touching my head and neck. "Mia, breathe. Everything is fine, her heart is strong."

I watch frozen as Christian clears her airway and finally take a breath as she cries. Catherine helps me over. "You gave me quite a scare." I say through tears. "You really are your mother's daughter, beautiful and spirited."

"We should cut the cord, Mia."

"Give the scissors to Andrew."

Andrew looks at me awe struck.

"Go ahead." His face lights up and he looks more beautiful than I have ever seen him before.

"Mia, we should check her out." Catherine puts her hands out.

I panic. "Mia, she's fine. It's routine. Please don't worry."

The monitor goes dead and Andrew flicks it off. Katrina's body lies cold and still. It is strange seeing my face white and lifeless. If the world were as it should be, I would be the one laying there and she would be holding her children experiencing this unbelievable bond of love. The tears of joy turn to tears of sorrow. She missed the most joyful day of her life and now it really is time to say good-bye. Going over to her body, I kiss her head. "Katrina, I swear I will do right by them and protect them with my life. Sleep well. I'll try to make you and David proud."

Andrew is beside me. "Mia it's alright. Come, there are two little ones that need your attention." He leads me over to Nicholas and Kayla. We each coo walking down the hall. Reaching my mother's door, I become nervous. What if she already passed? I hesitate.

"It's alright, she's alive. Gabriel would have gotten us if anything happened." Andrew says soothingly.

My breathing returns and I open the door. She is surrounded by pillows in such a way that even in her frail state, she can hold the babies. Her face is ashen but she becomes excited as we place them in her arms. Glancing at my father, tears glisten in his eyes as he watches her. He moves to touch her and them.

Stephan isn't here. Gabriel whispers. "He is downstairs. He cannot accept this."

"He has to say goodbye or he will hate himself." I go to get him. Stephan is staring blankly into the flames. Sitting, I startle him. "Stephan, I know you don't care for me, but I know without a doubt how much you love our mother and how much you respected Katrina. Our mother is about to leave this life and your niece and nephew are upstairs waiting to meet their uncle. You need to say goodbye to her and hello to them. Please come!"

He turns, staring blankly at me.

"Are you alright?" In my alarm, I notice him clutching the letter and a CD.

"Stephan, please there is not a lot of time left!" I plead. "I don't know what is in the letter, I assure you and I don't even want to know. David gave it to me sealed. You have to come with me." I grab his hand and for the first time since he was seven, he doesn't shake it off.

When my mother realizes I returned with Stephan she smiles weakly. "Mia, I think you should take the children now." She gives each of them a kiss. "I love you little ones, I'll be watching you always."

I take them from her, hand them to Andrew and hug her. "I love you mom." I fight ensuring not even one tear escapes.

Stephan goes to her. "I love you too mom, you knew that always, right?"

She hugs him back. "Of course I knew.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." He whispers.

"You have, Stephan, I go on in you, your sister and now my grandchildren." She kisses him. "Don't ever forget that."

Seeing my parents need these last few moments, we head downstairs and wait until my father comes down, tears rolling down his face. "She's gone." He says collapsing into the chair. Jackson and Andrew take the children from Stephan and me so we can comfort him.

"What am I going to do without her?" He keeps saying. When he cannot cry any longer, his voice turns somber. "We have to make arrangements, Katrina and your mother both need to go home."

"Dad, we can do that in the morning, you need to rest." I can see him eye Nicholas and Kayla and place them in his arms until he and Stephan finally head off to rest.

Jackson and Eva pick up Nicholas and Kayla carrying them across the courtyard so quickly that they probably don't even feel the cold.

Andrew insists on carrying me. "You look like a natural mother." He states lovingly.

"Are you kidding, I'm so nervous."

"Just trust yourself and don't forget that you have help. Did you see how they already have my sisters wrapped around their beautiful little fingers? They practically ripped them out of Jackson and my arms. You may have to fight for time with them." He smiles.

"I know someone else who is absolutely taken with them." I say slyly.

"You're right, I heard Jackson telling Kayla how he would teach her to hit a mean fast ball." He states innocently.

"I didn't mean Jackson and you know it." I tease.

"Alright, I'll admit it. I am very taken by them. When Nicholas wrapped his hand around my finger and opened his eyes, if I had a heart, it would have melted immediately."

We are all in the nursery and I turn to Eva and Jackson. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much your help means to me."

"Are you kidding, we love children. These two are pure joy. I'll be happy to flip you for the midnight and three a.m. feedings." Jackson teases.

"I'll keep that in mind when they're followed by the midnight and three a.m. changing." I tease back.

"I can take the smelly as long as I get to teach them how to drive when they're older. I see two Italian sports cars." He winks at me as they leave.

Andrew wraps his arms around me. "How are you doing really? You looked ashen when you saw Katrina on the table."

I lean against him. "Andrew, she should be here, not me."

His face twists as if I punched him in the stomach. He grips my arms. "Don't say that! I can't lose you, not like that." His body tenses. I try to change the subject.

"When did you give Stephan the letter? It made him trance like."

"He was going to serve you in Minnesota when we returned for Katrina's funeral. I couldn't allow him to hurt you! I wanted to wait, but he didn't leave me any options." His tone is livid, and then softens. "It worked, he dropped the suit."

"Are you sure?"

"He rescinded the paperwork."

Relieved, I lean down to kiss them. Andrew kisses them too. "Come on, you need to rest."

"What if they wake and I don't hear them?" I ask concerned.

"Don't you remember the set of lungs on them? Besides I can hear a pin drop."

Waking hours later, I am surprised they haven't cried to eat and go to their room. Andrew is sitting between the cribs, his eyes filled with such love, it takes my breath away. Holding his arms out, I crawl into his lap. "They are so amazing!"

"So are you."

He rocks me until they stir. It's amazing to watch how he interacts so naturally with them, they have really bonded.

"You looked quite natural. I'm a little jealous." I tease after they go back to bed.

"You're just nervous. I think the little fright Kayla gave you made you anxious. I can see how much you love them. Trust yourself and don't worry about mistakes. Children are resilient they find the right path no matter how many mistakes their parents make. You of all people should know that!" He leans down, kissing me lovingly.

I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself toward him. My pounding heart accelerates as his lips move from my mouth to my cheekbones and down my jaw line before returning to my lips. All too quickly, he pulls back from me and leads me to the couch. Putting on the news, we see a storm is coming.

I curl up to Andrew's side and his fingers begin gently gliding down my arm, my hand, passing my fingers and rest on my thigh. The fluttering butterflies in my stomach are doing flip flops. I uncurl my legs and he brings them across his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist while I move my hands clasping them around his neck.

His perfect lips on mine send a jolt directly to my heart before they move to my ear. "You are so beautiful." He pulls me against his chest. We are still kissing when I hear a knock and begrudgingly rise to answer it.

"We're wondering if you need help." Eva inquires shyly.

"Just admit you wanted to see the babies." Jackson elbows her.

"Come in. They should be up shortly."

They sneak a peek before joining us. "They are so beautiful." Eva sits next to me. Andrew insists on making me coffee and Jackson joins him.

"How are you doing really?" Eva inquires.

"I'm overwhelmed. I love the twins, but wish the circumstances were different. Andrew seems quite taken with them."

"I can understand that. He helped raise us and always spoke of wanting a family, but then when our life ended, he never spoke of it again."

Eva and Jackson feed Nicholas and Kayla. It's strange to watch how two little lives bring such joy, despite the surrounding tragedy.

Andrew answers the second knock. I see Nicholas, Jonathan, Serena and Damian and hear one of them say they want to offer condolences and wonder if they could see the twins. Andrew appears hesitant. Advancing toward them, I hope my blessing rising out of the ashes of tragedy can also be their turning point.

"Come in."

Serena puts out her hand. "Mia, I'm sorry about your mother and sister. I know you consider us the bad guys from our history, but let me assure you, we are hoping to start fresh and even help." Her tone sounds absolutely sincere.

"I would like that."

Nicholas comes over to me. "Mia, I'm really sorry about your mom and sister. I wish..." His struggling pulls at my heart strings and I take his hand. "Nicholas and Kayla are a new start for me and an opportunity to do the right thing like you're trying to do."

"I am." He assures me.

They all appear awed by my miracles that rose from the stagnant ruins of death. When they leave, Andrew offers to bring Stephan and my father to the suite. My father looks as if he hasn't slept and Stephan is still clutching the CD secure in his pocket.

As they visit with Nicholas and Kayla, Andrew makes arrangements for us to travel in a private jet.

I call David's parents who are excited to hear their grandchildren have arrived. Andrew even sends them pictures.

The drive and plane ride are fairly quiet. My father is asleep and Stephan is staring at something on his laptop.

After settling the twins in the hotel cribs, I go into the living room and hear Andrew talking to Martin. Sneaking my hands under his arms, I wrap them around his chest, kissing the back of his neck. He shivers. "Have I told you how wonderful you are and how you think of everything. I didn't even think to take pictures." He turns. I stretch to kiss him and although his encircling arms are cool, being close to him sets off such electric sparks within me, overheating my blood so I never feel the cold.

Arriving at the funeral home, it's strange to see my mother lying there lifeless, but looking better than she did at Sanctuary.

As people file in, I hear whispers about how it is a big mistake to leave the children to me because I will run when things got too tough. One of my father's colleagues even comments on how he wouldn't be surprised if I leave them on someone's doorstep. With each passing comment, Andrew's body grows more rigid and I can feel the tension rolling off him. The dinner is even worse, and Andrew's mood appears to be getting darker.

Arriving back at the hotel, he is still aggravated. "Andrew, they didn't agree with my actions but they don't matter. I put it behind me, thanks to you, so relax."

He hugs me a little too tightly then releases me. "I'll be back. I have to work this out." He doesn't return until the morning, but his face appears serene.

Once again we are traveling. My father, Stephan and the twins sleep out of pure exhaustion. I am grateful for whatever rays of light are shining upon me making these twins so easy. Staring into Andrew's glorious eyes, I feel privileged in this respect too. Looking upon this exceptional being who stares back at me lovingly, I cannot imagine what I did to deserve such a gift, but am grateful for the blessing bestowed on me.

#  Chapter Twenty-Four –Stephan's Stunning Secret Is Revealed

David's parents are very excited when we arrive and at their request, we go right over, despite the late hour.

Their faces are beaming brighter than a baseball stadium on opening day as they greet their grandchildren. Their joy is unfathomable.

After several hours, I rise to leave, not wanting to keep them up all night, but they beg us to stay with them while we're here so they can spend as much time with their grandchildren as possible. Andrew goes back to the hotel for our things.

As I set up the couches, Suzanne talks about how she was nervous when David first came home. I know she is asking how I am doing, probably worried about her grandchildren. I try to put her at ease.

"I get nervous, but Andrew's family is very good to me. They made a home for them before they were born in the residency where I stay."

"Mia, not to change the subject, but you and Andrew appeared close the last time you came and he seems very fond of the twins, very attentive. I know it is none of my business, but I was wondering if you and he had any plans. I'm not trying to pry, it's just that..."

I put my hand on hers. "I understand you are concerned considering that your grandchildren are involved and you want what is best for them. Andrew is a good man, he and his family adore the children. They all work at the hospital and are very helpful. I care for him and he cares for me, but it's complicated."

"Mia, he isn't married, is he?"

"No, I would never do that." I couldn't tell her the real reason or she would gladly encourage Stephan to reinitiate a custody battle. "It's just that he is my boss and now there is more than just he and I and we don't want to get involved only to have it be wrong."

She laughs. "I'm sorry. It's just that you are so cautious, so guarded and so self-deluded. You are already involved with him. He seems to know what you are looking for before you realize it and the way he looks at you, I have never seen a man in love more, my David included. I'm not saying David didn't love Katrina, he did, but the way Andrew looks at you, there's just something, a spark and devotion there in his eyes that...I can't describe but which exists, I'm positive."

Not knowing what to say, I'm relieved to have to answer the knock at the door. I shouldn't have been surprised when Andrew enters carrying two portable cribs. I shake my head. "What?" He inquires all too innocently.

"I just should have known that's all."

"Trust me, this is a good thing." He walks past me toward Suzanne whose eyes sparkle. "I thought we could leave these here in the loft so that if you could stand our invasion every so often, they would have a place to stay when we visit."

Their faces beam. "You really are going to let us share their lives, thank you for giving us a part of our son back."

Andrew's returning smile sets my heart ablaze. How could he even doubt his own goodness for a moment?

Martin and Suzanne place the twins snugly in their beds and retire. I crawl into Andrews lap. His arms instantly encircle me while my fingers trace his perfect lips. Kissing the tip of my index finger, we both shiver. My shiver is from desire blazing within me and from his responding actions I know his is as well. Bringing me closer into his steel chest his lips brush against mine tenderly. My heart pounds like a sonic boom. After a few moments, he leans his head back slightly, giving us breathing room.

When I wake, Andrew has a new computer set up for Suzanne and Martin so they can skype and see their grandchildren when we are not here. They are overjoyed. I am stunned that he thinks of everything to make others happy.

We drive to the church for yet another somber service. Guilt washes over me like a tidal wave and I lose my fight with unshed tears when Katrina's obstetrician, who was a close friend, speaks of all the hopes and dreams Katrina had for her children, how she envisioned their first steps, how she and David would teach them how to swim and how to sled down the hills that lined their backyard. Andrew wraps his arm around me, but for the first time this offers no comfort as Anastasia speaks of how Katrina would learn to bake so that she could send them to school their first day with a homemade treat to warm their tiny bellies and let their beautiful hearts know how she was with them even when they could not see her. I'm chilled to my very core. I see the life Anastasia describes ripped from Katrina. Wanting to run, but knowing I can't run from myself, I sit hiding my face in Andrew's suit, hoping my tears will remain silent.

At the restaurant, Anastasia comes over. As she strokes their cheeks, her words ring in my ears and I feel the break coming. Putting Nicholas in her outstretched arms, I excuse myself. I desperately search for a place to fall apart without the eyes of those who already have such a low opinion of me watching. Walking through the kitchen, Anton leads me to a small room. "Thank you." I collapse in the chair, my head falling into my hands.

Unsure of how long I am sobbing before the cool hands that I love so much wrap around me. "You're going to be alright."

I can't even lift my head. He deftly lifts me into his arms. My eyes remain closed but the tears refuse to stop and so do the images of the life that was robbed from Katrina and David to get to me.

"Mia, it's alright, they are here and happy."

I force my head up. "What did you say?"

"Mia, they will always be with their children, watching over them." He responds soothingly.

"But how, they are not here and doesn't everyone join the fight?"

"It is not the same as you think of war. They are allowed to watch their loved ones and although they are not here the way they thought or you want them to be, they will see their children take their first steps and grow, they will experience the joy in a different way not limited by human perceptions." He kisses my head. "We need to get back. It's almost time to leave."

Before returning, I go and splash water on my face. Coming out, I'm surprised to see Stephan bending down speaking with a little boy. I stop dead in my tracks when I hear Stephan ask the woman to come in so he can introduce his son to our father.

Turning around, Stephan stares at me and then with a resigned expression, turns so he is looking at both of us. "Marie, this is my sister, Mia. Mia, this is Marie and my son, Edward." I stand there mute, surprised that my hand reaches out to shake Marie's.

"It's a pleasure meeting both of you." I say finally, kneeling to shake Edward's hand." He smiles widely and I easily see Stephan's features. He hugs me.

Marie moves closer. "He's very affectionate."

"It's fine. He's adorable."

Edward jumps into Marie's arms and Stephan walks into the dining area. I wait a moment. Most of the guests are gone. I go stand beside Andrew who doesn't appear surprised.

I whisper. "You knew, didn't you?"

"David's letter" He replies softly.

"That's what was in it?" I answer too loudly.

Stephan is before my father. "Dad, I would like you to meet Marie and my son, Edward". He says in a small voice.

My father falls back into the chair behind him, his face turns to stone. After a moment, he holds out his hand, but his voice remains rigid. "It's a pleasure to meet you Marie." He glares at Stephan. Edward holds out his hand and my father's face softens. "How are you young man?"

"I'm very good grandpa." My father's face turns ashen, but softens as Edward hugs him, shock never leaving his eyes.

While Marie talks to David's parents, Stephan moves toward me.

"Mia, you really surprise me sometimes. I thought you knew, but you had no idea." This is the first time I think I have ever seen Stephan surprised.

"Stephan, I don't understand. Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"It's a long story which I'm not proud of. I guess you aren't the only one who's made wrong decisions." He sounds repentant. "Look, we don't agree, but I'm realizing that I have no right to cast stones. I lost three years of my son's life for my mistakes. Marie has agreed to sit with me and see if we can work things out, so I can get to know him. Since she is being so good to me, I should assure you that I am going to try to lighten up on my judgments and I won't be coming after you or Katrina's children. David was very persuasive, setting forth how I should get to know my own family before I try to steal his." His tone and words shock me. I hadn't seen this Stephan since I was a toddler and he actually liked me. I can't help but wish this Stephan stays.

"Stephan, I hope you work it out, but I am curious, how could you walk away?"

"I was a resident, not ready to be saddled with a family. I wanted to make dad proud and progress, but that took working long hours. How could I come home and say I had a baby with a woman I met at a bar." Stephan being forthcoming shocks me even further, but I say nothing hoping he'll continue. "When she told me she was pregnant, I wanted her to abort the fetus or give the child up. We fought and I hadn't heard from her. When I learned mom was sick, I started thinking about what could have been if I hadn't been so selfish, but I was afraid to contact Marie. David's CD had pictures and videos of Marie and Edward thanking me for the money and letters I sent."

I interject. "You said you had no contact with her."

Stephan eyes shift. "David was sending them money and little notes to Edward. He was a better man than I could ever be and left me the gift of an opportunity to get to know my family, so how could I go against his wishes for his own. I better get back to Marie. We are taking dad back and then going to talk."

"I hope it goes well. Don't ever forget what is important." I remark glancing towards Edward. "No position is worth losing more time."

"Hopefully this time I'll make the right choices." He picks up Edward and reaches for Marie's hand. Looking at them, I hope for everyone's sake they work it out. I stand dumb founded. This is a night of firsts! Thinking back, I can't even remember the last time we had a civil conversation.

Andrew hugs me. "Congratulations mom. You should say goodbye to your father."

I do just before we take Martin and Suzanne home. Despite the sorrowful day, I'm happy to see some good come of it. Martin even sings to the twins.

Andrew whispers. "Why don't we go for a walk and give them some time?"

"Alright"

"Martin, Susanne would you mind watching the twins while I take Mia for a walk?" He inquires sincerely.

"Really, you want us to watch them alone?"

"You are their grandparents, she trusts you completely." They smiled widely. "We won't be long."

"Take as long as you like." Martin replies happily.

The night is brisk but beautiful. We walk to a nearby park. As I head toward a bench, Andrew grasps my hand, leading me toward the swings. "Why don't you sit down?" He clears the seat.

I laugh. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"No you're not." He says amused as his eyes sweep down from my head to my toes. "Trust me." I sit down and he pushes me gently. Each time the swing motions forward, it seems to take one sorrow from the day and the past weeks and pushes it into a place where I can lock it away.

When he sees I'm feeling better, we walk over to a bench and look at the twinkling stars lining the darkened sky like diamonds. Even their beauty cannot compare to the way Andrew's eyes sparkle when they are clear blue, serene and catch the sun's rays.

I lean into his side and his knuckles stroke my cheek. The shiver of desire raises goose bumps on my arms. I don't know how he knew, but his hand reaches into the sleeve of my jacket and he runs his index finger across the pulse in my wrist. I turn and his expression is playful, maybe smug. "So you think your funny do you?" I feign anger, then move both of my hands to his incomparably beautiful face and kiss him with such passion, he is caught off guard. I feel the electricity and intensity of the kiss send a shiver through his torso. I gently pull away, my heart pounding as quickly as if I had run a three minute mile. "Now you know how I feel every time you kiss me!" I say breathlessly.

"What are you thinking of right now?" His voice is breathy too.

"Besides trying to slow my heart, just how strange families can be?"

"What do you mean?"

"When I was six, I remember telling a friend that someone had stolen Stephan replacing him with an evil clone because he went from loving me to being so negative. It's strange how that perception stuck with me and fueled the animosity which formed between us. Yet tonight, with Edward, I could see the soft side of Stephan, making me feel as if the good Stephan was always there, just dormant and waiting for someone who loved him unconditionally to free him from his imprisonment or wake him from his slumber, like in the old fairytales we read as children. Were you close to your siblings as children or was there always the division which exists now?"

His eyes appear distracted. "Our childhood was very different. We had no technology and lived secluded lives. My brothers and I worked the fields, while my sisters loomed wool and cooked. When we played, we skipped rocks across the pond or swam. We were close because we didn't associate with the outside world for fear of crossing an angel or demon that would learn our secret. It's funny though..." His voice trails off.

"What's funny?"

He seems apprehensive.

"You can tell me."

He sighs. "No matter how many times I think about our life before the conversion. I can't remember Nicholas. It's strange. I helped raise Eva, Catherine and Francis and can see them clearly, but I can't remember my twin and I just don't understand why. The more I push my memory, the harder it is to see him."

A strange look comes over his face and I wonder if he is concerned about telling me this. "Thank you for trusting me with that." I hug him tightly.

"I do trust you, with my life." He responds earnestly.

Heading back, we hear rustling from the trees and I see a pair of glowing eyes. Andrew draws me closer, taking in a deep breath. Instantly, I am in his arms traveling faster than I can comprehend. My racing heart fills with fear as I realize something is chasing us. He darts through tree lines streets and backyards leading them away from our real destination. He finally puts me down, but keeps me close.

"What was that about?"

"The rustling you heard was a vampire. It could have been a coincidence and he is just hunting, but I have to consider that because you are off Sanctuary grounds, he is trying to get you here."

"Andrew the..." He places his hand over my mouth.

"I know. We are heading back. I want to confuse our path. I have to pick you up again. I don't sense anyone else or that he followed us here, so it may be that he is just hunting. If he was sent by him for you, knowing that you are with me, I would assume more than one would come. Are you ready?" He picks me up and we are once again speeding around. I'm happy I hadn't eaten because he would be wearing my stomach contents without a doubt.

Despite Andrew's confidence that Martin and Suzanne aren't in any danger, I am still anxious as we say our good-byes. Stopping by Stephan's to see if my dad needs a lift, I'm glad to see the Marie and Edward still there. I'm glad to see my father's eyes less vacant and that he will be staying with Stephan for a few days.

The plane ride home is smooth, but I wonder what damage that creature might be causing as he moved on to some unsuspecting victim. An unbidden thought frightens me. "Do you think it will go after my family since we averted his attack?"

"I don't believe that he would go after any of your family members, even if he was sent for you. Their last attempt failed miserably and they lost their ability to manipulate Nicholas. Besides, we left so many dead ends that he couldn't trace us back to any particular place. Once he realizes we are gone, he will join up with whoever gave him the order, if he was sent for you and if he wasn't, he will go hunting someplace else." Although his face appears undisturbed, there is a trace of something in his voice that I cannot pinpoint.

# Chapter Twenty-Five – Arrival To Tragedy

Before we even open the car doors, Gabriel is there. "Andrew, I'll help Mia inside. You have to get over to the psychiatric building, it's Marcus."

Andrew is a blur streaking across the lot. "What happened?"

"This morning, Marcus went walking with one of our interns on the trails and suddenly began running. The intern lost sight of him. As he came upon the ice covered lake, he saw a break in the middle and called us immediately. We arrived in less than two minutes, found Marcus at the bottom, fished him out and revived him, but he is still unconscious and in bad shape."

Gabriel picks up Nicholas as I take Kayla. While we walk back, I learn that they have no clue why Marcus ran, that the intern didn't hear anything, but that Marcus' head snapped around like someone called him then bolted.

We settle the twins and Gabriel volunteers to stay with them so I can check on Marcus myself and if Eva needs any help.

Walking over, I catch Jackson in the hallway who informs me that Eva and Andrew are working on him now, but that Eva is worried about Stephanie who is having a very hard time with this and is frightened that something may have infiltrated Sanctuary.

I go and speak with her and try to reassure her it was just an unfortunate accident, but she knows how Marcus hasn't liked the water since losing his brother to it and so do I. My heart sinks at the realization of what this could mean, but she seems a little better as we discuss that he may not have even realized he was on the lake because of the snow cover.

Entering Marcus' room, Andrew is alone. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

He comes over to me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, but I'm worried about Stephanie, she is frightened that the shadows are coming for him."

"Did she say that?"

"She was talking about the shadows and what happens when someone dies. Do you think he will make it?"

"He is beginning to respond to the medication and I have advanced the healing, but I can only advance what the body can heal, if it is too damaged, then I am useless." He sounds disheartened.

"I'm sure you helped. You need to give yourself a break." I say taking his hands.

"But if I..."

I bring our intertwined hands to my lips. "You have to stop! You can't solve all of our problems, nor can you take them all on. Sometimes we have to accept that there are things beyond our control. Some things are fated to happen." Despite my words, his eyes grow more troubled.

"Do you really believe that or are you just trying to lessen my guilt over being unable to save your family and possibly Marcus?"

"Look here Andrew you did not kill my sister or David! You did not give my mother an inoperable brain tumor. Nor did you make Marcus go into the lake!" I retort angry.

My voice softens. "You do however give people, whom the world labels hopeless, a safe haven to voice their beliefs, fears and thoughts without fear they will be ostracized or considered insane. Do you have any idea of what you have given them by doing this?"

The look that crosses his face tells me he blames himself for their suffering. "Andrew, you did not bring the demons upon them! They existed long before you were formed so stop blaming yourself for every encounter, every attack and every death they have caused. It is not your fault and it is not because of you! Stop blaming yourself for something that you did not start and no matter how long you exist you will not end." My voice is harsher then I intend and I take a moment.

"When they got you, when your own family suffered tragedy because of them, you could have become so introspective that no one else mattered. If that had happened, this place would never exist, but it does and just think of all the people you helped and saved from being set adrift on their own to suffer in silence, locked away without a voice, always thinking that they were delusional or crazy for what they witnessed. Instead, you and your family established this haven where they find hope and peace from the surreal. You placed yourselves down on the priority list and probably impaired your abilities in your quest for answers in order to help others."

I grab his face, making sure he hears each word. "Can't you see how your self-sacrifice has given life to those who society would have never let have one! So no matter what happens to Marcus, to me or anyone you come in contact with, you have to understand that it is not because of you. Do you hear me?"

He stares at me, anguish clouding his features. "I understand what you are saying but if shadows, demons and the creatures created were not allowed to cross over, your life would go on untouched by the darkness which should never interfere with the light on this plane! People's lives could go on as they should with free will and they could make their choices without influence or interference."

"Andrew, you talk as if people themselves never choose to do evil. I am sure every murder, arson, and robbery is not all influenced by the darkness, unless you count the darkness within us all. I can hear my frustration and am sure it doesn't go unnoticed and hope it doesn't deter from my point. "The idea of the Garden of Eden vanished a long time ago and it wasn't because a serpent thrust the apple down Eve's throat. If I remember, she chose to eat it and then didn't Adam do the same. They had more than they could ever ask for and still it wasn't enough. People all have good and bad within them, it is the choices that we make which define us. You were human and when tragedy struck, you could have shaped your life to reflect your anger over your circumstances, but didn't! You could have focused on your quest and the search for answers only, but again, each of you chose to look beyond solving your own puzzle to try to make life safer for others along the way."

"We weren't always like this. When we were first transformed, it was pretty ugly, especially when we gave in to our natural instincts, people died!" He shakes his head as if trying to dispel a disturbing memory. "Even when we found alternative eating habits, there were times when we fought and people got hurt. It was bad for a long time." He stops speaking abruptly.

"All the more reason for you to be proud of what you accomplished." I grab his hands and kiss them gently. "I'm sure it would have been simpler to give in to your natural instincts, but you fought them and now you are trying not only to save yourselves, but those you bring into your lives. It can't be easy to help so many find peace before moving on when you yourself may never get to travel."

The monitor goes off, startling us. Andrew starts CPR as I charge the defibrillator. Catherine comes running in and bags him. I administer the paddles, nothing, again, nothing, then finally the third time, his heart starts beating. Catherine and I monitor Marcus while Andrew goes to speak with Gabriel.

Upon his return, we learn they contacted a neurological specialist and he instructs Catherine on the further tests they need to conduct before he gets here and then turns to me. "Mia, you should go back to the residency. There is nothing more anyone can do until we know more."

"Keep me apprised."

"I promise, keep your phone by you and I will call with any changes." He kisses me before wheeling Marcus out.

Jackson comes out of the twins' room when I walk in. He heads to the door and turns to say goodnight. "Do you have a minute?"

"What's up?"

"Has Andrew always blamed himself for what happens to people or is it worse since I arrived?"

"Ever since I have known him, he has carried guilt around for what happens to those around him. He struggles with his inability to protect everyone and not being able to bring peace to his family. He helped raise his siblings and from what Eva told me, when the fight began, Gabriel was the first to fall. Andrew rushed to his side, trying to rip the demon from him, but could not make him budge. While he was doing this, three more of his siblings fell. By the time he realized what was going on, there was only he and Eva who had not been transformed. He tried to get her to move, but she was so frightened she didn't budge and he couldn't carry her fast enough to get away. When he threw himself on top of her to protect her, they tossed him aside as if he was a rag doll. He saw her thrash about and scream more than the others because by then, she knew exactly what was coming for her. Then to torture him further, they held him down as he ripped their mother apart. Andrew watched helpless, unable to stop it." My heart sinks further and further down with each word, I can see it happening. I can feel his pain.

"When he was converted, he was strong, but still his power to heal was limited by what we are. He watched his family get torn apart, helpless and then was not able to bring them together as they split on how to resolve this issue, if there is a resolution to it at all. If that weren't enough, he still fears that any resolution which they find will not bring his family peace. He can't stand the thought of watching them being ripped apart over and over again. It is like a father who watches helplessly as his child is in danger and he can't save them. Andrew has been a second father to this family and those instincts, the desire to protect us extends beyond just his immediate family now. He believes that since we are stronger and have been granted celestial gifts, we have a duty to protect the weak, 'to keep them safe from things which should not exist on this plane' as he so fondly likes to quote." We can't help but giggle that is his favorite quote.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Does Eva ever speak about their life before?"

"She's spoken of their better memories, especially when things get complicated."

"Did she ever talk about how Nicholas was, before their tragedy?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious." I say softly, hoping my voice doesn't reveal more.

His expression turns from thoughtful to surprise. "I never really noticed, but no, she didn't really mention Jonathan either. Is there a particular reason you asked?"

I try to lie. "No, I'm just curious."

"It is more than just curiosity, I can see that."

"Jackson, I can't. I'm sorry."

"Mia, if you know something, you need to share it, if not with me then with Andrew. I think that there is a link that they share when they are together that is going to solve this, but putting the necessary connection together of what that is has always eluded me, so if you have any ideas at all, Mia please!" His voice is pleading and I know he is thinking of Eva, not himself. I can see it in his eyes, he would move heaven and earth to save her from the fate he fears awaits her. He joined her fate not only because he loves her, but I can see his desperation to protect her.

"I don't have anything concrete." In truth I don't, I only have my feelings around Nicholas and what Andrew told me, but I don't want to betray Andrew's confidence. "I just think it is strange that when Andrew told me stories about their life, he didn't mention Nicholas. Now you are telling me that Eva didn't mention Nicholas or Jonathan. It seems odd, but other than that I don't have anything. It's just a feeling."

"What type of feeling?"

"I can't describe it. It is just a weird feeling that I get around Nicholas, especially since he was pretending to be Andrew and then the story that Andrew told me about how he would be affected by the things Nicholas did, as if he himself were doing those things. I don't know, there is just something about that which is tugging at me, but I can't make sense of what it is."

He grabs my hands. "Mia, promise me that you will think about whatever is eluding you about him! I know you are perceptive and when I first came here, I noticed something strange with him, but it never revealed itself to me. Now, knowing he was in league with them, even though he is reformed, makes it all the more important that if you know anything that you let someone know."

"I promise but it is very illusory and may even be my prejudices regarding him that colors my perceptions. I'm just not sure." My mind is racing, sifting through my conscious memories and hopefully on some level my unconscious observations for answers.

"I should get going and see if they need help."

When he leaves, I concentrate on my encounters with Nicholas searching for any type of clue, but am interrupted by Kayla's screaming. Running, I pick her up before she wakes Nicholas, she is burning. Catherine surprises me as I have Kayla in the tub to cool her down.

"Can you get the infant fever reducer in the medicine cabinet?" I ask straining to stay calm.

She's back instantly and on the phone. "Eva, I need you to come to Mia's, Kayla has a high fever."

Although my anxiety increases with Kayla's temperature, I know Eva is busy. "Catherine call her back, she has to get Marcus' test results to the specialist."

Eva walks in, rubs Kayla's head revealing a temperature of 103.9, listens to her lungs and wants to get her into x-ray; she hears fluid in her lungs. The x-ray confirms pneumonia which Eva says probably settled in her lungs at birth.

"She'll be fine. We can even set up a monitor and IV drip in her room so you don't have to leave Nicholas. I know what I'm doing." She says calmly.

"I know she is in good hands. Andrew told me you were once a pediatrician." I say confidently.

"Oh he did, did he?"

Andrew walks in. "What did I do now?'

"You were giving away family secrets again." She teases and punches his shoulder. "I have to consult with the specialist."

Andrew heads over to the bed, listens to Kayla's lungs then flips on the x-ray. Placing both hands directly where the fluid settled, he closes his eyes in concentration. I stare. The space around his hands appears electrically charged. Kayla sleeps through it all. When he removes his hands and opens his eyes, they look weary. It's strange, when he came in, I could see his worry, but he did not look worn. I wonder if healing others weakens him. He moves to me, wrapping his arms around me. "She'll be fine." He kisses my head.

"I know." I lean into his chest. "How is Marcus doing?"

"He hasn't regained consciousness. The tests revealed a contusion at the base of the skull and swelling. Gabriel is scrubbing and Dr. Sapazian is coming.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Looking up, I'm surprised to see his features looking normal.

"There is nothing medically you can do, so maybe we should take Kayla back and then I'll return." His tone is somber.

I can see he wants to say more but doesn't. "If there is nothing medically, what aren't you asking me?"

With trepidation, he mutters. "Asking for help may not be a bad idea." His eyes shift toward the heavens.

"I can do that."

His smile is blinding. "Come on, let me get you back."

"I can get her back, you need to stay."

"I would feel much better, if you let me get her across. I can do it faster, it is still brisk outside."

"Alright, I'll meet you there."

He and Kayla are out the door before I gather her things.

It's two in the morning when Andrew returns. I had just put Nicholas down and am administering Kayla's antibiotic. His picturesque features are strained and his bright eyes wary. Crossing the room, I pick up his hands, kissing them. "How did the surgery go?"

"We lost him twice, but finally relieved the pressure and he is in recovery." His voice sounds strained.

I tug on his hands backing up into the couch. "Sit, you look exhausted."

He forces a laugh. "I don't get tired, remember."

"You do feel stress, keeping everything on your shoulders makes you wary. Physicians orders, sit down." Knowing what I am about to do, my heart quickens. I can feel my blood heating, making me flush. I hesitate then carefully draw my hands up to his collar and across his strong shoulders, removing his lab coat. Folding it over the arm of the coach, I return my hands to his shirt collar. The butterflies in my stomach are now fluttering and taking flight as if to escape, but I continue.

My little subconscious' comical characters appear once more. Angel is shaking her head. Do you really think this is a good idea considering how hot you are getting? What if it takes you to someplace you don't want to go? He'll run this time. Internally, I shake my head. In that moment, red devil decides to chime in. You are trying to bring him peace, how bad can that be. Besides when your images do appear, it isn't like you both don't enjoy them. He is a man after all. A man who has been celibate for centuries, give the guy a break. His head drops and he shakes it as if he feels pity and then continues. If he won't allow himself pleasure in this existence, the least you can do is fulfill his needs in his fantasies. The satiated feelings that tingle and linger with you remain and offer him pleasure as well. I shake my head internally once more and strive to strictly concentrate on the here and now and begin repeating a mantra. He needs to relax, bring him peace not pain.

My heart pounds faster and harder as my fingers deftly unfasten each button, but I remain in the here and now refusing to let my desire win out or remove me from my task. I want to help him relax. My hands brush over his shoulders as I remove his shirt. I feel him shudder. His intensely beautiful eyes flare with desire before closing and tightening in concentration and I know that he is doing the same, focusing on staying in the here and now. My breathing quickens as I look upon his perfect physique. I curl my lips tight in hopes of slowing it down.

Shifting myself to the back of the couch, I move my hands and begin massaging the base of his neck and shoulders. My hands feel as if they are wrapped around a granite cylinder on a cold winter's day. The only real movement I feel is his intermittent shudders as my hands move across his back and shoulders. Otherwise, I doubt I am relaxing any of his solid, stone muscles. His eyes remain closed and my heart refuses to slow.

Being so close to him and touching his sculpted muscles ignites a blaze of desire within me that spreads like a wild forest fire throughout my entire being which could never be extinguished.

After a while, he relaxes, leaning into me. I am glad that we have not drifted. His face holds no hint of defensiveness in his serene features. He looks so alluring. I cannot help but kiss the back of his neck gently, becoming lost in the moment. My hands wrap around his waist as my lips brush his shoulders. In a quick movement, his hands are around me and I am sitting in his lap. He caresses my cheek while his other hand moves slowly down my spine causing me to shiver. As his perfect porcelain lips brush against mine, my hands glide gently over his beautifully sculpted chest. The coolness of his body is not enough to dampen the flames of my desire. My hands clasp behind his neck pulling him closer. His gentle kiss intensifies as his own desire detonates, unleashing the man within. His cool resign gone, his lips moving against mine, needing me, claiming me, his arms tighten around me, crushing me to his bare chest. His lips move from mine, caress my cheek, leaving a trail of gentle, cool kisses while moving slowly to my ear.

"Mia you are so beautiful." He whispers. "I..." In a flash, I am sitting on the couch alone and he is gone. My heart pounds erratically in my ears as my head spins, I cannot get up and go after him. Leaning my head against the wall, I draw my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them trying to hold my body still.

I'm immobile. If he only said it, if he did not catch himself, stop himself, we would be tied together, our fate would be sealed the way it should be and the missing piece of my heart would be cemented in place for all eternity. He almost allowed himself to voice the words, I'm elated, but the image of his leaving quickly overshadows my joy with fear. Panic grips my heart causing it to race for a different reason. What if he fled fearing he would slip? I spring to my feet and pace wildly in a room that is suddenly all too small. "He promised he wouldn't leave, that we could talk about it. He promised not to take away my choice! He couldn't leave now, he would feel too guilty if something happened to Marcus, but look at what happened, he almost said..." I cannot let myself finish the thought. "What if he was overcome by what he almost admitted? What if he changed his mind and decided it was better to leave than for us to talk about it? Stupid! Stupid! You try to do something good and instead drive him away! Could you possibly do anything else to drive him away?" My hands fly up to my eyes, misting with aggravated tears.

I didn't hear him come in, but he stops me mid-pace, holding me tightly once more to his chest. Oh if he could only admit his love for me, this is where I want to be, held close to him, feeling him, caressing his every muscle, loving him. I can't help but sigh as I snuggle close to him and breathe in his wonderful, alluring scent. "Mia, you did do something good for me, you didn't do anything wrong." His voice is soft, no trace of trepidation or anger. "I didn't mean to worry you. I promised you I wouldn't leave and I won't. I just needed time to..." He inhales deeply.

I finally risk a glance at him. "Were you outside? Did you hear my little rant?"

"Pretty close." He smiles. "I didn't mean to listen." His voice is contrite. "I was leaning against the wall trying to clear my own head." He strokes my cheek gently.

"Andrew, I didn't mean to..."

"What tempt me?" He inquires amused.

"I was only trying to help you relax. You always do so much for me. I wanted to give something back to you, but sometimes I lose my focus when I'm with you."

"I seem to have the same problem." He chuckles. "It's just that you are so beautiful inside and out that I lose myself in you. I don't want to say anything that..." He closes his eyes and seems to struggle. I wait. When his eyes open, they appear calmer. "Mia, I said we would talk about everything. I promise I will not diminish your thoughts, but I'm just not ready to have that conversation yet and if I had lost my concentration as I could feel was about to happen, I may have said something that would have taken away any possibility for you to have a choice. I just cannot reconcile myself or live with the idea of imprisoning you now!" He holds me tighter and I can feel his mounting anxiety as we embrace.

"Andrew, I know that you carry so much on your shoulders, not just me, but all the people around you. I was not trying to push you into that conversation. My only intention tonight was to do something nice, to help you relax, to help you feel the peace which you always strive to bring to me."

His index finger is on my lips. "I know. Besides, I'm the one who started, not you. It's just that when I'm around you I feel as I used to feel when I was human. I think as I used to about sharing my life with that special someone, settling down and starting a family." He shakes his head and appears to be struggling with his thoughts. "Please don't misunderstand, I don't mean that I am using you to feel like I used to..." He pauses searching for the right words. He lifts my hands to his lips and kisses them. "It's just that you are the woman I would spend my time with if I could spend my time with anyone."

My love for this man, who fights against his own happiness to keep those he loves safe, entrenches itself deeper in my heart. Without a doubt and despite the hell which may engulf our future, I want to be with him, to grow with him and share everything with him, but I know to tell him this now will only cause him pain so I settled for words I hope will bring him peace. "I understand exactly what you mean. I'm sorry for making you anxious, I wanted to make your day easier, not add to it. My only intention tonight was to help you relax after a very trying day." I whisper.

"Mia, you make every day better for me by just being here and by how much you care for me. Even when I was in my lowest state, you came into my life and showed me compassion and caring like I never imagined possible. You make every day brighter and bring to it a sense of peace which is far beyond anything I have ever experienced!" He states earnestly, kissing me on the cheek.

I lean into him, exhausted from the long days.

He sweeps me into his arms. "Come on, you're dead on your feet. I'll take the next feeding and what time does Kayla need her medication?"

I want to argue, but am just too tired. "She needs Tylenol in about forty-five minutes and then antibiotics in three hours."

Carrying me into my room, he pulls the covers up around me. I am out instantly.

Waking, I jump out of bed, it's seven. Jackson is in the living room.

"Are you feeling rested?" He grins.

"Andrew should have woken me before leaving for rounds?"

He laughs. "Andrew finished hours ago. He's checking on Marcus."

"What! It's only seven."

"Yes, seven pm, you slept through the day." He laughs louder.

Looking out, I see the darkened sky. "I'm so sorry, I'm such a problem." I mutter.

"You're not a problem. I'm only here because I won. You should see the fights that go on whenever we have an opportunity to spend time with them. I know you love them, but we do too, their facial expressions are a blast."

"How is Marcus?"

"He's still unconscious, but his heart rate is stronger."

The next few weeks pass by quickly. Marcus remains in a coma, but there is no trace of Kayla's pneumonia. Thanks to the many helping hands, I settle into a routine that allows me to feel as if I am contributing something and not always taking.

# Chapter Twenty-Six – Springtime

As the weather turns warmer the residents of this strange but wonderful facility pitch in and work together to help one another and plant the young seedlings. It is wonderful to see and be part of such hope and tranquility after such a sorrowful winter.

The twins' expressions are more animated and they seem to enjoy the walks in the woods, reaching for all the blossoming colors. In truth, I probably enjoy the walks even more, gazing into Andrew's perfect sky eyes as the sun pops through the trees and they sparkle like the heavens, warming his beautiful features and watching how his perfect smile lightens his face as he shows the twins a world anew.

Now that the weather is more conducive to travel and the St. Clouds are convinced, from their many nights traveling throughout the woods, that nothing is trying to penetrate Sanctuary, I decide to call David's parents, my father and Stephan to see if they want to come for the twins' christening. Andrew makes the travel arrangements and despite my protests, Gabriel insists on cooking the meal for the party afterwards.

Andrew and I prepare the upstairs rooms for our guests while Eva and Jackson watch the twins. Upon our return, I muster the courage to ask them something I have been debating all day. I worry that it may be too much of an imposition, especially considering I am hoping that they will enhance their efforts to find a solution to their quest in my lifetime, but I need to know that the children will be protected should something happen to me. "Andrew, Eva would you mind standing up for the twins?"

Eva is delighted. I see her nudge Jackson. "Maybe we should put the twins to bed."

I turn to Andrew knowing he has something to say. "Mia, I'm honored that you asked me. I adore the twins, but I think you should ask your brother. He is family and Stephan and Katrina were very close. She may have even asked him."

"I did consider him, but then I remembered how David didn't want Stephan involved in their custody. If anything happened to me, isn't it typical for the godparents to take them? You obviously care for them, but if you don't want the responsibility considering how much you have on your shoulders already, I understand."

Placing one arm on my back, his other grasps my chin. "What do you think is going to happen to you?"

I try looking to the floor, but he tilts my chin upward forcing me to meet his eyes. "You never know what could happen. I mean I never expected to be raising my sister's children."

His tone turns comforting. "I will do everything to make sure nothing happens to you. It is not that I don't want to take responsibility for them. I would do that in a heartbeat. It's just that Stephan appears to be working on the things David didn't like and he is their uncle."

I hate to admit he is right. Katrina loved my brother and probably asked him without reservation. Despite her asking me, I know David coerced her.

I could feel the tension resonating from Andrew as he waits for me to respond. "Please don't be upset."

"I'm not upset with you, I'm upset with myself. I am keenly aware how much Katrina loved Stephan. She used to wish he could have been her twin. Instead she got stuck with me. She used to talk about me being a reflection of everything that could have been wrong with her. Maybe she was right. I didn't consider what she wanted, only what I think is best for them, but that's wrong!"

His hand moves from my chin. He cups my face in his strong hands and speaks deliberately. "Mia, you are thinking like a mother. There is nothing wrong with that."

"I'm not their mother, she was!"

His voice turns stern. "You cannot fault yourself for thinking of them as your own, you will be raising them. They will turn to you for comfort when they are sick, argue with you when they are frustrated. You will be the one who guides, shapes and protects them." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sure that you will share memories of their parents, but that is just what they are, memories. They will look to you as their mother because you will be the only one they know in that role. You will need to act as their mother, to set boundaries, make rules, tell them when they are wrong, praise them when they are right and encourage them when the struggle. So if you think as their mother, you should not feel badly because it is not wrong! In fact, it will help you make the tough decisions because unlike other aunts, you don't get to walk away. You have to stay there and fight for what is right for them, no matter how hard they fight you back!"

"How do you always know what to say to make me feel less guilty?" I lean on his shoulder as he releases my face.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about." He strokes my back gently.

Eva and Jackson come out. "They are asleep. Thank you again for asking me." She hugs me on the way out.

I didn't mean to, but as I snuggle into his side listening to an interesting case he is dealing with, I fall asleep, my mind entertaining the weirdest dream. I hear my sister's voice telling Stephan how I am her evil side. My dream shifts to an image of Katrina as a tiny spec inside a large black bubble, but her face is unmistakable. She is adorned in a white glow, but I can see a small crimson empty bubble resonating heat, next to her. All of a sudden, Katrina becomes blurry as if hidden by an overlay. The overlay skims over Katrina's bubble and is now impeding upon a little red glow which begins to grow, crushing the other bubble and breaking out of the black bubble which encircles them both.

Startled awake, I hear the twins crying and see Andrew heading toward their room. It's too early for them to eat, so we cradle them until they fall asleep. Placing them in their cribs, Andrew walks back into the living room, sits and holds out his arms to me. The invitation is enticing. Crawling into his lap, my pulse quickens, he is amused.

His voice is soothing. "What had you so restless? Is it something I said? I didn't mean to upset you."

"No. I just had a bizarre dream."

He looks at me skeptically.

"Really, it had nothing to do with you." I feel strange telling him, but I don't want him thinking that it is him.

When I finish, his features register his surprise. "That is strange. It must be a twin thing. I think we all think of ourselves as the good or bad twin, especially when we are young and need to blame someone for something that goes wrong, like a broken vase." He chuckles.

I know he is trying to make me feel better, but as I recount the dream to him, I can feel something about it tugging at my consciousness, something just out of my reach. My eyelids begin closing and I feel him shifting me so I can sleep. My mind begins to focus on all the twins surrounding me, but sometimes they seemed to meld together into one. It is very strange. My mind is definitely trying to tell me something and although its message is unclear, I'm happy that my mind is focused on this because earlier I could feel it drifting in a direction that would only get me into trouble.

Through the darkness on some level, I can hear Andrew murmuring to himself and wonder if he is also trying to keep his thoughts on track. As silence embraces me, a flicker, a golden glow is piercing the corners of my dreamless state, moving ever so slowly closer to my mind's eye. As the glow comes into focus, so does my surroundings. The clearest of skies stretches endlessly with just a hint of night creeping in as the sun's blazing glory sinks into the horizon. A soft, gentle breeze lifts the tendrils of my hair and causes the hem of my dress to sway against my legs. I stand on the shoreline watching the surf roll in as waves carry numerous small boats filled with men from the large ship moored off the coast. My eyes are affixed to the strong, muscular man with the most breathtaking smile. He stands at the edge of a dingy and jumps in, swimming toward me. He moves closer to shore and stands, his dark blue eyes alight with the last glimmers of the sun's rays, his hair wet, tied back and he's sporting more than a five o'clock shadow but not quite a beard.

As he moves through the last of the surf, I bolt quickly towards him and throw myself into his awaiting arms. His cool wet body instantly soaks mine, but I do not feel the cold, I'm hot, my blood overheating as his muscular arms pull me to his taut chest and desire unfurls within me. He has been gone much too long. I've missed him so.

His perfect lips upon mine, kissing me fiercely as he carries me back toward the sand. "Mrs. Greys you appear happy to see me," He says, his lips still against mine. "Anxious for me or anxious to see what I have brought you from my latest conquest?" He teases.

"You, always you"

"How is my greatest treasure?" He asks placing his hand upon my bulging abdomen.

"He is doing wonderful, very active." I smile. "Or maybe you will have a daughter this time."

"As long as the child is healthy I will be happy. Shall I take you to the ship or shall we go home?"

"Your brother is with the children so could we go to the ship, from the look of the boats you left only a skeleton crew to unload and I have missed my husband terribly." I wink at him and his eyes darken. He lifts me once more, moving quickly now to a boat that has just reached shore. As the men get out, he puts me in and begins rowing out.

The ship is fairly deserted. He waves off a deckhand coming toward him as we stand on deck. He is staring at me with such love and affection, desire ignites within me and I can't wait until we get to his cabin. I run my fingers up his strong arms, across his clavicle, down his pecks, through his chest hair and down his sculpted abdomen. "You have been away far too long this time."

As my lips touch his chest, he scoops me up in his arms and his lips crush mine. We are now standing in a darkened cabin. Setting me on my feet, he lights a small lamp casting a soft glow in the cabin and across his perfect features.

As he turns to me, I throw myself at him and we both fall onto the small hammock suspended between two poles. We are cocooned in our own little world. His strong hands cup my face, he kisses my eyes, my temple, moves slowly down my cheek and then places a gentle kiss on each corner of my mouth before crushing his lips to mine. His hands move from my face, gliding down my neck, caressing my shoulders, and my back.

As his hands glide up my spine, I feel something cold and hard traveling in their wake, but my shiver is not from the object, but being close to the man I cannot live without, the man I love more than my own life. His fingertips trace my neck and I now feel the chain hanging but my eyes refuse to leave his beautiful blue ones.

"Don't you even want to see your present?" His tone sounds amused.

"I am enjoying my present right now." I marvel at the exquisite feel of my husband's sinuous arms, shoulders and back. His face sparkles with whatever gem he has just placed around my neck, but I can concentrate on nothing else. The longer he is away the more enthusiastic his return. I love this man so much.

We lay basking in our reunion. "I love you." His eyes sparkle with joy.

"I love you and am so happy you returned home once more, unharmed, that's all I ever want."

"I don't know Mrs. Greys; you seem to enjoy being close to me too." He says teasing, gliding his fingers down my back slowly.

When my eyes open, Andrew is as still as stone, staring straight ahead, his eyes unfocused. "Are you alright?" He doesn't answer. Jumping up, I shake his shoulders calling out his name several times.

Finally, his head sweeps up to meet my anxious gaze. "I'm sorry I worried you." He mutters distracted. I begin breathing again, not realizing I was holding my breath.

His eyes are filled with concern. He opens his mouth to say something, but seems lost and closes it again. I take his hand and gently stroke it.

"That was something wasn't it. My voice is still breathless. I don't know if it's from the fright of seeing him immobile or the desire and tingling which the vision has left in its wake.

"Yes it was, but Mia, I need to know something. As it's happening, do you feel as if you are there, because in some strange way I do? I feel everything that is going on. I don't sleep, so I know it cannot be a dream yet in some ways it reminds me of a dream state, but much more intense. I am conscious of everything I am experiencing, feeling and seeing, but have no control over what is happening, similar to what I remember when I was human and dreaming, but it is much more vivid than any dreams I remember. In some ways it is also similar to what I first experienced with Nicholas, but not quite." His eyes bore into mine as if he is trying to see if I feel the same way.

"I know exactly what you mean. I feel it too, but each time, I can't help but wonder if it is a memory trying to push its way through. I know that it can't be - can it?"

He shakes his head. "How could it be? I have existed for the past five hundred years, walking this earth as one of the dead." I can see him shaking his head. "Yet in those images I am alive, warm blooded, different but the same."

I interrupt. "You are not one of the dead." I retort angrily. You are a warm, loving and giving individual who makes me feel more alive than I have ever felt and no one who is dead could do that, so stop with the self-loathing Andrew. Maybe we can't figure this out because we don't know enough about all that surrounds you, me and this surreal existence, but I will not have you speak about yourself like that, do you understand me." I put my hands on my hips and lean down staring at him intently, just inches from his perfect face.

He fights to hide a smirk at my little outburst. Leaning back slightly, he holds his hands up. "I won't say it again. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated with all of these unanswered questions and very steamy visions." He mutters as if he is confessing to something untoward. "I just wish I had some answers or that Reginald was accessible, maybe he could shed some light on this"

I want to ask him who Reginald is as curiosity rages within me at the thought that someone may be able to shed light on this, but knowing how guilty he is feeling about what we see and experience, I fight it with every fiber of my being, beating it down, at least for now.

He rises. His anxiety and fear show clearly in his eyes. "Let me make you some coffee." He is in the kitchen before I can even answer and I know it was right not to push him.

Wrapping my hands around the cup, I take a comforting swig.

"Why do you like that? It tastes like sludge."

I look at him surprised that he drank it before. "How can you say that? I am convinced that this is the true nectar of the gods in all those Greek myths."

He laughs. "Sometimes you really are so strange."

I'm glad that we can still joke especially after our illicit encounter, but I also know from his change of subject that he is not ready to deal with this unanswerable territory.

The next day, everyone arrives. Martin and Suzanne are thrilled. My father's eyes are somewhat unfocused and misty. I'm sure he is missing my mother. Stephan's face looks softer and he has a gleam in his eyes as he holds Edward. When I welcome Marie, I notice a diamond ring hanging around her neck. "I'm glad you could come. I would love to show you around."

"That would be nice." She replies shyly.

After they get settled, Marie and I go for a walk. "Marie, I don't mean to pry but I was wondering how it's going for you two?"

She takes in a deep breath. "Honestly, I'm nervous, it's been three years with just Edward and I and I can see my son getting close to Stephan but fear he could get hurt if your brother leaves again. Stephan has asked me to trust him, but I'm scared."

"Is that why you wear the ring, I suspect he gave you, around your neck?"

"You're very observant. I thought my best friend would ask and we could talk, but she hasn't."

"You could talk to me."

She laughs. We walk around the beautiful grounds and Marie enlightens me that she is nervous about committing to Stephan for fear he will bolt again, the way he did upon learning she was pregnant to further his career.

Although I know the man she describes, I see a difference in Stephan with Marie and Edward, a softness and reverence for them that I have not seen before. As we head back, I do something I never thought I would. I advocate for my brother. "Marie, I'm sure you know that my brother and I haven't gotten along, but I can tell you that he would not have asked you if he wasn't sure he loves you and Edward and wants to be there for you always. No one knows the future, but some things are worth the risk. Do you love him?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then I think you have your answer. If you are worried about Edward, children are more resilient than we could ever hope to be. If you both love him, give yourselves a chance to be a family."

We reach the residency. "I'll see you later." She heads upstairs.

I decide to give Martin and Suzanne more time with their grandchildren and head upstairs to check on my father. As I climb the second set of stairs, Andrew comes up behind me. "Did you have a nice walk?"

"It was different. I have never advocated for Stephan before, but Marie says she loves him, so I hope I did some good."

"Maybe they can make it work. He was playing with Edward and responds very positively toward him."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she is wearing the ring on her finger tonight at dinner." I say with satisfaction.

Sitting on the step, he takes my hands making my pulse race. "What about you? Do you feel you are missing the opportunity to start your own real family by staying here, hoping that I can get past my fears so we can talk and enjoy a piece of the visions we share in this reality?" He smiles, but I can see the fear creeping into his eyes.

I lean over and kiss his perfect lips gently, hoping to stop him from saying another word. I know where he is going and don't want him worrying for no reason. "Stop it right there! I told you, I do have a family and now I even have an extended family, which I must say, the extra hands are appreciated." I chuckle. "I am very happy here and thankful for what we share." My little devil appears. Don't you wish you could share what you see? What are you waiting for, seduce him. He will cave, especially after last night. I quickly knock him off. "Please don't go reading anything into what I said."

He leans forward, kissing me tenderly, jolting my heart with its usual lightning bolt. He touches his cool forehead to mine and sighs. "It's just that I would love to be able to give you that normal happy family, the opportunity for us to be husband and wife and raise Nicholas and Kayla as parents, for you to live your happily ever after. But I have to be realistic, we may never solve this and to leave you waiting for something that may never be within my power, it is just so wrong!" Anguish resonates in his strangled voice. "If I could push you back out into the real world, you would have that opportunity. You're so special someone would find you. They wouldn't be able to miss your smile, your laugh and your loving heart. Even if I could get past the fear, we would never be normal. It would only be..." He raises his hand to my cheek and closes his eyes.

I raise my hand to his lips hoping to stop his downward spiral. "Andrew, I was out in the real world and dating was not good for me. I never felt worthy enough or alive enough to get close enough to anyone. Not until I came here did I even begin to feel like a person and yes I did find that I wanted to share things with someone and by some grace beyond anything that I could ever deserve, he wants to spend time with me too." I place my hands on his anguished face and he opens his eyes. "I know that you don't want to hear this but, I want to share my life with you always. I understand that because of your fears that you feel the need to keep a piece of yourself back. I'm not sure that I agree, but I'm willing to wait until you are ready to talk about it, if you are ever ready. What I am not willing to do is to leave you or pretend that I want to start a life with someone else! Nor will I pretend that if you make me leave, I will remotely even consider spending my life with someone else. I am sorry if this upsets you or makes you sad, but it is the truth and I don't want to pretend anymore. Even our visions, as strange as they are show us sharing something special, whether they're real, dreams or whatever, they show us happy. As confounding as this may be sometimes, I am happy here with you and I will take our life together in whatever form it can come. If that means that you and I will continue on like this forever, that's fine! If we can move forward, that would be wonderful, but I will take whatever part of you that you are comfortable sharing because honestly, what we have is more than most people could ever have, even if they lived one hundred lifetimes. As long as we are together, you need to understand that I am euphoric!"

His strong arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him. "I don't deserve you!" His voice exudes gratitude. He caresses my back until someone at the top of the stairs clears their throat.

# Chapter Twenty-Seven – Confrontation And Commitment

"Mia, may I see you a moment?" Looking up, I know the facial expression which will meet mine. My father is going to give me yet another speech about what I am doing wrong in my life. I only hope this feeling of happiness in Andrew's arms is enough to make me hold my tongue. Andrew squeezes my hand before I ascend the remaining stairs.

I follow my father into his room where he sits rigidly on the couch. Sitting in the recliner, I wish it could just transport me into another dimension. I am not ready to hear him pass judgment on me again. I had enough of it when I was a child, but I'm not a child anymore. I try to focus on my mother's words about taking care of him and mending fences. I keep telling myself he is still mourning and here only for a short time before we return to our long distance relationship or none at all.

"Mia didn't your mother and I raise your right?" His voice is curt.

Taking a deep breath to calm the angry response rising up my throat, my response sounds matter of fact. "Father, I'm not doing anything wrong and I don't know what you're getting at."

"I heard you on the steps trying to worm your way into Dr. St. Cloud's life. I have asked around. Did you know his great grandfather started this facility and his family has worked in the medical field for generations? His father was a well-respected cardiovascular surgeon who was highly respected for his advances in technique." Despite my father's aggravated tone, I find it fascinating to learn about this aspect of Andrew's life.

"What does his father's reputation have to do with me?"

"Mia, Andrew is also respected, especially for one so young. He is your superior. Do you really want to blow this job too? He sounded pretty clear about not wanting to commit to you and your insistence upon taking whatever part of him he is willing to throw you, can only lead to disaster. I know that you have never listened to me before, but if you keep pushing and he feels cornered, they will force you to leave. If you are forced to leave for misappropriate behavior it would ruin you. Although I think this place is a mistake, I promised your mother I would not interfere with this career choice of yours." From his tone, one would think my career choice is that of a prostitute. Every bone in my body aches to scream "mind your own business," but I hold my tongue.

"You have to realize that if he talks about your unprofessional behavior, it would be a disaster. His word carries weight Mia. If he talks it will not only affect your career, but mine as well and my work is all I have left. Before your mother became ill, I was on the short list to head a new research transplant team for a facility focusing on synthetic hearts. Just think of the break through, no more lost patients due to the failure to find a human heart." He pauses. "Then your mother got sick and I had to remove my name to care for her. The backers have refused candidates based on their failure to reflect the proper moral fiber and now they are looking at me again. If they look at my family, I have your brother who hid his situation and now is the center of rumors which will keep him from advancing since all he wants to do is play house. Then there is your situation which based upon what I just saw confirms my worst fears. Your willingness to settle for whatever little scraps of time he throws your way is pathetic. Are you two playing house as well?" He inquires aggravated.

"I am not playing at anything!" I stop immediately, I'm too angry.

"Is he married? I didn't want to ask and spark unnecessary questions." He sounds more concerned now than irritated.

"He isn't married and I am not throwing myself at anyone." I retort coolly, straining to keep my voice even. "It's complicated, but he wants to be with me. I'm not doing anything to endanger your career or mine. I am not doing anything wrong! In fact, I am trying to carry on my career, raise Nicholas and Kayla in a warm, loving environment and keep their family close. As far as Stephan and Marie, Stephan does not want to play house, he's asked Marie to marry him and make their family a solid unit. However, she is afraid because your cool son put his career in front of everything else so he could gain your respect. He had nothing to do with them so that he could do what you wanted of him, so why don't you cut him a little slack." I stop, taking in a deep breath to calm my angry tone.

"Dad, it may ease your mind to know that Marie loves him and I wouldn't be surprised if she says yes to him during this trip. Either way though, you need to understand that it is his life and they need to work out whatever arrangement works for them. I am sure that if these benefactors know you and your skillful advances, they won't let anything stand in the way of getting you on board. No one is more proficient in this area than you. Despite our disagreements, I have always admired your work ethic and incomparable skills. Anyone would be lucky to have you!"

His face softens, but I see the desperation in his eyes for this distraction. I'm not sure if it is that I can see him now through adult eyes of wanting the best for his children or realize that losing my mother fuels his desire to cling to anything that will bring relief but I find myself hoping my father finds his peace in this endeavor.

"Thank you for saying that. Mia, I wish you would listen to me. From what I heard, Andrew is not interested in a relationship and you will lose all career possibilities if you are fired for inappropriate behavior!"

There is a tap on the door, which was now ajar. My father responds. "Come in."

Andrew's features are tight. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but father Jeffers is here to go over last minute details with Mia." I rise, but before we leave, Andrew takes another step toward my father. "Dr. Angelis, I overheard some of your conversation and want you to know that I have nothing but the utmost respect for your daughter. She is going to make a fine psychiatrist. She has a special gift for being able to read and understand patients' needs better than most veterans. Dealing with such complexities of the human mind is extremely difficult and she rises to the challenge. I'm sure that you have some questions seeing the close relationship we share. I assure you that nothing inappropriate is going on. I care for her and respect her too much to ever put her in a compromising position. Considering everything that has transpired, we have decided to take this slow. I am a careful person and do not want to do anything to hurt Mia, the twins or her career, but it does not mean that we are playing at anything. Mia is very well liked here and highly respected. She is too important to me to play games with." His sincerity leaves my father speechless, which is a first. He turns to me. "Mia we need to go. Dr. Angelis, we'll see you at dinner."

"Thank you for those words." I smile as we cross the courtyard.

He intertwines our hands. "I meant every one. You are going to be a wonderful physician and as far as being liked and respected here, you should have no doubt about that. In fact, I have been warned by more than one of my siblings that if I do anything to hurt you, I will have more to fear than just the fiery pit of hell, something far worse!"

"So that's why you stay with me. Now I see!" I say exaggerated and his features lighten.

"How long were you listening?"

"From the beginning, I was worried he would upset you and I hated the thought of you getting flack because of me."

"He and I were at each other long before I ever encountered you, but you have taught me that he runs out of steam sooner when it is a monologue."

We talk with father Jeffers and I convince him to stay for dinner, joking that we needed a little divine intervention. As he and Andrew go for a walk, I go to ask Stephan to be the twins' godfather. Despite his shock that I would even ask him, he agrees and I learn that not only has Marie accepted his proposal but that they are expecting another child and plan on getting married by a justice of the peace upon their return home. It's nice having such a civil conversation with my brother. He is definitely a softer, more cordial person with his son who loves him unconditionally.

Rising, an idea pops to mind, but I need to find Andrew first.

Descending the stairs too fast, I trip. Nicholas grabs me to stop me from falling. I am surprised to feel the warmth of his touch. "Thank you for stopping my fall."

"Where's the fire?" He asks concerned.

"I was in a hurry to find Andrew and father Jeffers."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just needed to know if I could do something here tomorrow."

"I saw them go into the recreation building."

"Thank you again."

As I enter, Andrew comes over to me. "Are you alright? Did you and Stephan fight? You seem anxious."

"No, I'm just excited, but I wanted to check with you about something." His intense eyes stare at me and I momentarily lose my concentration. "I was wondering if we could have a wedding here after the baptism?"

"She said yes."

"She did and they are planning to go home and get married at city hall. She's expecting another baby. I thought it might be nice to combine events."

"That's a marvelous idea, but why did you think you had to ask permission? This is your home now too."

"I was thinking about something else, but you need to tell me if it sounds like I'm interfering. You know David and Katrina's house hasn't sold and it would be perfect for a family. I thought that maybe Stephan and Marie could stay there and pay some money to Martin and Suzanne."

He looks at me, his eyes shining. "I knew I was right, you have a special gift for identifying how to help others."

I could have stayed right there lost in his glorious gaze, but I had to talk to Marie. "I should ask Marie."

"I'll tell father Jeffers about the possible changes." He kisses me on the cheek causing my heart to pound as he lingers there.

Upon my return, Marie is putting Edward down for a nap, so I wait on the steps. Nicholas catches sight of me from the foyer. It's strange to see Andrew's face surrounded by such light hair. "Did you find Andrew?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"I am. Nicholas, were you baptized?" I ask curiously.

"I believe that we were baptized in a little church in Italy. I don't remember it myself of course." He laughs.

"Do you remember a lot of your childhood?"

He contemplates before answering. "Not a lot, but I do remember one sunny afternoon when we were all by a small river. We were trying to cross a decrepit bridge to see what was on the other side, maybe hunt. As we crossed, I fell through into the stream and was being carried toward the basin. If Gabriel didn't jump in and save me, I wouldn't be here. He pulled me toward the edge." He shakes his head as if trying to dispel a disturbing thought.

I couldn't make sense of his memory. Andrew told me that happened to him and is the reason he and Gabriel are so close. Before I could ask him about this, Marie approaches and he leaves. As he passes, I hear her, "Hi Andrew."

"Stephan said you were looking for me."

"I was." She sits next to me and I tell her about my idea to combine events and am thrilled to see she likes the idea. She unexpectedly hugs me tightly.

"How are you set for something to wear? I have a winter white suit that would probably fit you."

"I brought a black dress so if you wouldn't mind, I'd love to try it on."

When I come back, Eva is holding a garment bag. "I heard there may be a wedding. You certainly make this place fun." She laughs.

I hand Marie my off white suit.

Eva puts her hand on my shoulder. "Mia, you are a great doctor, but your clothes, are too sedate. She hands Marie the bag. Try this on? If you need help altering it, Serena is great with a needle and thread."

As Marie heads upstairs I go in and talk to Martin and Suzanne. Despite their objections about receiving rent and the trust I am setting up for them, they are thrilled that the house will be occupied by a loving family.

"We should let you get ready for dinner." Martin says rising to leave.

When he opens the door, my heart stops. Andrew is there looking breathtaking, his perfect features made even more beautiful by his sparkling smile and soft pale eyes.

Crossing the room, he wraps his arms around me. "How did it go with Marie?"

"She is thrilled. Your sister even gave her a dress because she thinks my clothes are too conservative." I reply with mock annoyance.

"I think you always look beautiful." He leans down, his cool lips brush mine, sending my once stopped heart pounding wildly. "Why don't you get ready and I'll stay in case the twins get up."

Everyone is seated for dinner downstairs. The soft glowing lights reflecting on the St. Clouds make it appear as if my family is surrounded by perfect life size porcelain dolls. When dinner is through, much to my father's relief, Stephan tells him about their plans to marry after the baptism. Much to my surprise, my father has nothing negative to say when Stephen tells him that he is giving up his position at the hospital to take a position in the small practice Marie works at so that he can spend time with his family. As he speaks, my father's eyes even soften.

"I can only hope you two are as happy as your mother and I were." Sadness fills his voice, and I can feel the tears welling in my lids. "Have you decided on a place to live? Your apartment is barely big enough for you. If you need help, all you have to do is ask."

"When we get home, we'll look for a house to rent."

Hearing this, I decide it's now or never, but can't help fidgeting. We have had a pleasant visit so far and I would hate to go back to the way we used to be. Andrew places his hand upon mine and I immediately calm. Clearing my throat, all eyes turn to me. "If you would like, Katrina and David's house is available to rent."

Stephan's eyes widen. "I thought you had it on the market?"

"I changed my mind. You know I can never stay to one course." I try to joke. "I was thinking it is a good family home. You could keep or get rid of any furnishings you don't want and pay some reduced rent to Suzanne and Martin."

Marie hugs me, while Stephan stills his mouth agape. "Thank you that would be wonderful. You're not at all how your brother described." She pulls away, her face red as she realizes what she said.

"We have had a rocky past, but maybe we are headed toward a more amiable future."

Father Jeffers goes over details with them while my father makes telephone calls in my suite so I can help clean up and prepare for tomorrow.

Walking into the nursery, they have set up a beautiful lattice surrounded by newly formed blossoms. It looks breathtaking.

I turn to Andrew. "How did you do all of this so quickly?"

He laughs. "It's nothing. You should see the cake Gabriel is putting together."

I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. "I hope you left something for me to do."

"There are two things which you could help with." His voice is full of mischief. "First, you could kiss me." He leans down and my heart pounds wildly as his porcelain lips touch mine and his arms encircle me tighter. Feeling the cool curves of his muscles against me, my breathing turns shallow and so does his. My racing pulse heats my blood and as it courses through my veins, all I want to do is throw him to the floor and make love to him the way I see us making love in our visions, but I refrain and he gently pulls away going behind the trays, pulling out a large box.

"This is number two." He smiles, approaching me. Inside are two antique lace baptismal gowns and a soft taupe silk dress. "They're beautiful, but you have to stop spoiling me."

"Indulge me. You look so soft and lovely when you dress in delicate clothes."

"Is that your way of telling me you agree with your sister's assessment of my wardrobe?" I feign hurt feelings.

His features turn concerned. "I didn't mean..."

I put my fingers to his lips. "I'm only teasing. Thank you, it's beautiful."

"Not nearly as beautiful as you" I see desire in his eyes before he hugs me and wonder what he is thinking. "We should get back."

When we return, my father is on the telephone, his mood quite uplifted. I hear the twins rustling. Kayla looks as if she wants to sleep so I put on her mobile, but Nicholas begins to cry, so I take him out. He may be hungry. In the living room, my father is excited.

"I take it that was a good call."

"That was the lead gentleman of the finance committee funding the proposed research project I told you about. They asked me to head the project and pick a team!" His eyes dance like a child's at Christmas.

"I am so happy for you. See, you worried for nothing, our lives didn't affect your chances."

"They are very excited to get started. They received high recommendations from colleagues and a large investor saying that I was the only one who could really lead the project." He is practically jumping up and down like a child who just opened his favorite new toy. "I'll see you tomorrow. I have to contact a few colleagues!" He kisses Nicholas and uncharacteristically hugs me before floating out the door.

When I turn around, Andrew is sitting on the sofa with a very satisfied look upon his face. I should have known that he would have had a hand in this quick turn of events.

"You encouraged them to give my father another call, didn't you?" I ask crossing the room. His expression immediately turns too innocent, telling me I am directly on target. "Thank you."

"I really didn't do anything but make a call telling them that your father was freed up and I was sure that the backers would love to have someone of his caliber and experience head up the project, it gives the project clout."

"You by chance wouldn't be one of those backers would you?" His silence tells me I am right once again, despite his trying to distract me by playing with Nicholas.

The next morning is hectic. As I help Marie, I take out a short strand of pearls with a blue topaz, pear shaped stone that hangs gently in the middle. "This was my mother's. I thought that it might be nice for something old, borrowed and blue."

As I place it on her neck, Marie puts her hand upon mine. "Thank you. I won't ever forget this."

"Don't be silly, we were all here anyway and I love a happy ending."

Finishing up, I run downstairs, before Stephan enters with Edward.

Jackson meets me downstairs taking Nicholas. "Did Andrew pick that out for you? It's very flattering." He motions to my outfit.

"Thank you and yes he did."

Jackson snickers at my obvious annoyance.

Stepping outside, John, William, Teri and Stephanie join us. We have invited everyone since they miss so many fun and festive occasions being separated from their own families. William carries his sketch pad.

We decide to have the wedding first so Marie can attend the baptism. Martin and Suzanne reach for the twins as soon as I come in, giving me an opportunity to walk around enjoying the beautiful flowers.

A cool set of arms wrap around my waist and Andrew leans his head on my shoulder, kissing my cheek. "You look absolutely breathtaking." His voice is so sultry, I melt.

Turning to face him, his eyes reflect a desire I am sure mimics my own and his absolute perfection stuns me. His pale shirt compliments his sky blue eyes which shimmer like the blue flames of a baked Alaska. He steps back, still holding my hand and I can't peel my eyes from his. I hear a "hmm" come from his lips.

"Is everything alright?" Looking down at myself, I hope I haven't soiled my dress or overlooked some baby drool.

"I think you forgot something."

Glancing down assessing myself again, "No, I don't think so."

He reaches into his pocket and removes a box. "No, I'm pretty sure that you should be wearing this."

Opening it, I see a thin gold intertwined chain with a delicate, tear drop diamond pendant. I place it back in his hands. "I can't take this, it's too much."

He removes the chain from the box. "Mia, I want you to have it. I just wish it could be another kind of diamond. I wish..." As he takes in a deep breath, I raise the tips of my fingers to his perfect lips.

"What brought this on?"

"It's just that I heard you about loving happy endings and I can give your father a happy ending, your brother has found his happy ending, but I'm impeding yours by allowing my fears to forestall our talk." His tone turns solemn as his bright eyes dim, holding a sadness of a thousand lifetimes.

"I have my happy ending." I stretch to kiss his cheek. "I am very happy here with you and our talk can wait! As you said, we have time and that is all I ever wanted." Winding my arms around his neck, I pull myself into his chest. "I don't need anything else, but this." I tilt my head up and stretch to kiss him once more knowing he can hear the way my heart skips a beat before breaking out into a sprint. I feel his smile against my lips.

We hear someone clear his throat. It's father Jeffers. "I could perform a double wedding." He smiles and winks at Andrew.

Andrew places the pendant around my neck, draws my hands up to his and kisses them lovingly. "I have to help Gabriel. Excuse me."

Father Jeffers smiles and I can feel the heat rise from my over stimulated heart all the way to my cheeks. Thankfully, I am rescued by Stephan coming in with Edward. They take their places at the lattice and I escape to my seat, still flushed.

Andrew's family strolls to their seats. They all look breathtakingly beautiful in their dark suits with light shirts for the men and light spring dresses for the ladies. Eva looks exceptionally lovely in her ice blue halter, silk dress with matching strap shoes. The pale shimmering material glints like her eyes. As she crosses over to see the twins, it is nice to see the way Jackson's eyes follow her. His face reflects his pure joy and love. Seeing him, I can understand how easily the choice must have been for him to gamble his eternity. Her appearance lights up his eyes and obviously overwhelms his heart. My eyes dart to the rest of the family. Serena and Damian share the same look, but Jonathan and Lucy do not. The door opens and Andrew strolls in with Gabriel. I catch a brief glimpse of that same look in his shimmering eyes, causing my breathing to spike, before he turns to speak with Gabriel.

My father and Marie appear at the end of the aisle. Looking at my brother, his features turn absolutely blissful.

As we rise, Andrew comes to stand beside me, draping my arm over his, his eyes glance sideways at me.

As Marie walks toward Stephan, her eyes never leave his. Andrew is stroking the back of my hand with his when all of a sudden he grasps my hand and I feel something tug at my consciousness as a veil appears before my eyes and my surroundings change.

I am standing in a cavernous, chilly hall. My eyes scan the walls. They are large blocks containing odd shaped high windows. Ornate tapestries hang from the ceiling, and I now realize my hand rests upon someone's. Turning, I do not recognize the man who's smiling down at me. "Are you ready my dear, everyone is waiting." I look around and realize the hall is filled with people, dressed in their finery. I feel as if I have stepped back through time, but to where. The clothes date so far back and for the first time I become aware I am standing in a castle and the veil before me is that of a bride. My eyes quickly look forward and there at the end of the aisle, to my relief, the eyes staring back at me are the ones I am now so used to in my visions, the darker version of Andrew's. His hair is once again sandy, but his features never waiver, they are chiseled, beautiful and all too familiar. My heart races as I travel toward him, his eyes hooded, but with what emotion, wanting?

I am jerked back into the present by the loud applause. I see Stephan kissing Marie in a fashion that could light the nursery on fire.

I glance at Andrew and hear rather and see him exhale. I wonder what else he may have seen, his eyes are alight with desire, just before he closes them, taking in a jagged breath. Knowing that he is trying to calm whatever riotous thoughts accompanied that vision; I turn back to the lattice and see Edward tugging on Stephan's coat as he covers his eyes. When Stephan looks down, he lifts him in his arms and turns to us. "I guess the best man has had enough of the PG rated version of this ceremony, now for the G rated version."

Stephan's laughter brings Andrew back; we pick up the twins and walk over to the baptismal font with Stephan and Eva. To my surprise, Nicholas remains still and Kayla doesn't cry.

When the ceremony is completed, the men separate the aisles of chairs and add tables. Andrew and Gabriel retrieve the trays of food.

# Chapter Twenty-Eight – Andrew's Absence

By the time everyone is dancing, the twins have fallen asleep and are nestled in their swings. Andrew rises, taking my hand, leading me to the dance floor. As he places his hand on my waist and we began dancing, I can't help but get lost in his ice blue eyes, a part of me hoping that we stay in the here and now. Despite the rest of the room disappearing from view, relief washes over me as the song remains unchanged. Drawing myself closer, I rest my head on the lapel of his dark suit, feeling his statuesque chest against my cheek. I feel so comfortable and natural being close to him and sigh contentedly as my heart recognizes that this is home. I could stay like this forever, content in his arms. As the next song comes on, he leans down, whispering in my ear "Our song". He caresses my cheek with his porcelain lips before spinning me around.

We continue dancing as he pulls me back into his chiseled physique, but as he does, I feel his pocket vibrate. Without releasing me, he brings the phone to his ear and speaks in a hushed tone. "I can't hear you, you're breaking up. Slow down. What happened? How many are trapped. We'll be leaving within the hour." He slips the telephone back into his pocket and whispers in my ear. "There has been a collapse in a hospital in Brazil which we helped establish. There are people and patients trapped. I have to gather up some of my siblings and go and help."

"What can I do?" I ask concerned.

"Stay here, help Jackson and Nicholas run things and hopefully we'll be back in a week. I'll miss you, but you can reach me on my cell and I'll call you." He kisses me gently before going to tap Gabriel on the shoulder. He whispers in his ear and then they both move alerting Catherine, Eva, Serena, Damian and Francis. They depart without another word.

Watching him go out the door, I realize that we have not spent a night apart since shortly after my arrival and I hate to be separated from him now, but know there are people here who need caring for, especially the terminally ill.

As the night wears on, I even dance with William who is anxious to show me sketches of Stephan and Marie. As we flip through them, I notice a picture which I assume is Andrew but don't remember him in that pose any time this evening. "When did Andrew sit for this sketch?"

William laughs. "That isn't Andrew. It's Nicholas."

Looking closer, I can't believe the resemblance to Andrew in his drawing. Usually, William portrays Nicholas' eyes with much more ferocity and his hair much lighter. "Your drawings of him are usually more severe, especially the eyes and his light hair. What brought about the change?" I inquire curious.

He laughs again. "Haven't you noticed the changes in him doc, or am I more observant than my own shrink?" He teases.

"What do you mean?" I inquire, but I'm already scanning the room for Nicholas who remained with Jonathan.

"Doc, his physical appearance has changed, his eyes are not as dark as before and his once almost platinum hair has turned darker." Listening to William my eyes finally find Nicholas and I can't help but stare, realizing he is right.

William speaks softly. He is now almost at my ear, probably not wanting anyone else to hear. "His attitude has changed too. As his physical features turned less frightening, his attitude also changed, he is not so filled with anger anymore. He even talks to us now. Doc, I know you may not believe me, but the shadow which I could see around him is much lighter, less obtrusive."

"I hadn't really noticed that before, but I guess he has been even talking to me more lately. You really are more observant than I am. I guess I am going to have to sharpen my skills and you will have to send me a bill for your services." I joke with him, but my mind is already turning, trying to consider what this change could mean and whether it had anything to do with what happened to him that night when they found him. "William, I need to find Jackson, please excuse me."

Jackson is not in the nursery. I am about to search for him when the twins start crying. My father seems out of his element, so my questions must keep. I go over and take Nicholas. "Where's Andrew?"

"He and some of his siblings had to leave. There was an emergency in one of their clinics that they had to handle."

"Do you think that he will return in the morning? I wanted to get a chance to say thank you before I leave."

"I don't think he'll be back that soon. You're leaving in the morning?"

"Yes, I have to assemble my staff. They want to start on this project as soon as possible."

"I'm really happy for you, dad. I'll tell Andrew that you said good-bye when he comes back." With that my father excuses himself.

The patients had already left, when Stephan and Marie approach me.

Marie embraces me. "Thank you for all of this. Where is Eva, I want to thank her for allowing me to borrow the dress?"

"She had to leave on an emergency, but she and the others wanted me to pass on their well wishes to you." I gather the twins' things and smile at her.

Uncharacteristic for my brother, he hugs me. "Thank you for everything. We are going to start home tomorrow so we can get the house together before I start my new job. I'll make sure that Martin and Suzanne get whatever they want for the house. It's very nice of you considering everything that you and I have been through."

I look at his softened face. "Stephan, I really do mean what I said. We have endured enough and this is a new beginning for all of us. I hope we can stay in touch and build a new relationship, for your family and mine."

We walk back. Martin and Suzanne offer to stay with the twins and ask to stay on. I assure them they could stay as long as they like and that their help will be invaluable, especially since I want to help out while the others are gone. Knowing how late it is, I offer them my room.

When I return to the nursery, Jonathan and Jackson are folding the tables and chairs.

"What can I do to help?"

Jackson comes over to me. "If it wouldn't be too uncomfortable, maybe you could help Nicholas in the kitchen, store the leftovers and clean the dishes. I just need to move the beds back in place and will join you."

"That's fine. Is there anything I can take with me?"

Jackson retrieves a tray of leftover cake slices.

Nicholas is already washing dishes and turns when he hears me enter. Looking at him close up, I gasp realizing just how much of an increase in resemblance he now has to Andrew. I wonder if he has darkened his hair or if not, if he is aware of what is happening.

Hearing me, his eyes drop to the floor. "If I make you uncomfortable, I can leave and finish later." He mutters without looking up.

"No. I'm sorry." I say stepping closer. "I knew you were here. It's just when you turned, you look so much like Andrew, I didn't mean to..." I am tripping over my words. "I guess I'm just missing him already. It's very nice of you to help considering my family made the mess. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I am now standing next to him and pick up a dish rag, taking the plate from his hands.

He smiles tentatively.

"Nicholas, I do have a question."

"Sure, what is it?" He sounds a bit relieved, now that my tone is less strained.

"Where do you hide all of the food, it kept disappearing, but no one ever got up?"

He laughs. "We all sat by the plants. It makes good compost."

We finish the dishes rather quickly and are wrapping up the remaining leftovers.

"Mia, could you answer something for me?"

"I don't see why not."

"You love my brother, don't you?"

I hesitate wondering where he is going with this, but decide it can't hurt to answer. "Yes very much."

"Even though you know what we are and what the price is if he admits to loving you back."

"I would love him no matter what the consequences. I know that there is a risk. He has been very honest about that, but he is worth it." Saying the words so freely, I feel my heart swell with all the love in my heart for him.

"Do you think you could still love him if he wasn't as good and perfect, if he had some of me in him, some of my personality?" His inquiry is laced with trepidation and his eyes dart to the floor. The intensity in his eyes before he tore them from my view tells me that he is not asking out of mere curiosity. He is searching for something and I realize there is a pleading in his tone. He seems worried and I feel compelled to answer, to allay his fears, but am unsure why. "Nicholas, I spent my whole childhood feeling inadequate. As you know, I was also part of a twin, the lesser part, the one who was never quite good enough, never lived up to the potential that was expected of her. In truth I can't get past that feeling of inadequacy now, so yes, I would love Andrew no matter what! I am so far from perfect and don't expect that anyone is. We all have our shortcomings and things that we wish we never did. I know you have done things in the past, but my advice is to leave them there. Move on. Nicholas you know your brother and family love you and I know you can do the right thing in the future, I believe you when you say you have changed and know that Andrew believes that too."

I surprise myself as my hand moves to stroke his cheek. I wonder if it is a reflex reaction. He resembles Andrew and I always find myself holding Andrew's face when he doubts himself. Nicholas' face is not as hot as before, but is not the cool porcelain feel of Andrew's, yet I feel something familiar and strange at the same time as my thumb strokes his cheek. Nicholas appears shocked and as reason sinks in as to what I am doing, I hurriedly remove my hand and place them behind my back, happy that I have not angered him.

"Nicholas, I know you regret what you did to me before I came and what happened to my sister, but I also know that you have good inside of you. Your family knows this too. They believe that only by working together will you have a chance at solving this to make you whole. As much as my sister and I disagreed, since her death, I feel like a part of me is missing."

He stares at me and I can see that he regrets what happened with me and then he mutters softly. "Thank you for answering me. I know you have every reason to be suspicious of me, but I didn't ask with any ulterior motive in mind. Andrew is very lucky." He sounds sincere.

We finish up. As Nicholas walks out, Jonathan and Jackson come in. I notice Jonathan's strange look, he is glaring at Nicholas, he may even be angry. He departs quickly without a word.

"Was working with Nicholas alright?" Jackson's eyes burn with concern.

"It was fine." I say reassuring, "Our conversation was odd, however."

"What did you talk about?"

I recap our discussion and by Jackson's face, he is also perplexed. We walk back to the residency, dividing up the work. Inside my suite, everyone is sleeping. I walk into the kitchen and make some tea. Jackson follows me. "Was there anything else Nicholas said?" He inquires leaning up against the counter.

"No, but have you noticed a change in Nicholas' appearance since the night he returned?"

"What do you mean?" He asks bemused as to what I am trying to get at.

"I don't want to influence your answer. Just think."

His features register that he does realize a change. "His hair has gotten darker which is strange; it has always been so light. I can't believe I didn't notice it before."

"Is there anything about his face you've noticed?"

He closes his eyes and I can tell he's concentrating. "It seems less intense."

Frustration wells within me and I can't hold my tongue. "What about his eyes?"

"I don't know. I haven't paid much attention. They seem dark gray, when the sun hits they appear darkened blue. Why?"

"If you look at them now, they are lighter. They are blue, not gray or pitch as when I first came here, not as light as Andrew's or Eva's, but they are lighter!"

"That can't be! I know I'm not very good at depicting colors, but I know his eyes have always been dark. You must be imagining it because you miss Andrew."

"I'm not. Look at them! I didn't notice them either. William pointed it out to me." I clear my throat, knowing that Jackson needs to know this and will not betray William's confidence either, but I still cannot escape feeling a little guilty telling him. "Jackson, William says he sees a shadow or glow around you all and that the dark shadow he usually sees around Nicholas has lightened as well. What do you think this means?"

"I don't know, but his physical changes and asking if you could love Andrew if he had some of Nicholas' personality is strange. I don't think he is trying to deceive you again especially since they know you can see through Jonathan's distortions, but something is up."

"Jackson" As this idea pops into my mind, I feel guilty. I believe Nicholas is trying to change, but what if I'm wrong. Do I trust myself enough to stay silent when someone else's eternity is on the line? I try to phrase it in a manner that doesn't sound as accusatory. "You don't think there's a possibility that he's been deceiving us all, saying he wants peace and would instead try to hurt Andrew by using me, do you?"

"No, I don't think that he would try that anymore." I hear myself let out a sigh of relief, especially since Jackson sounds so confident. "I know that Nicholas has dreamt of you and Andrew and the bond you share since he came back." My mouth drops open in surprise. "He has also been dreaming of when he was in love, but since that night none of us have gotten any indication that he wants to hurt you. In fact, from all indications, he seems very grateful. You saved him! If you hadn't forgiven him, his soul would have been claimed right then, according to his thoughts and dreams. At least that is the fear that they instilled in him. Each time Gabriel gets a read on him or we have entered his dreams, we come up with a true change of heart toward you."

He sighs. "But if you are right and something is making him look more like Andrew, how would you tell them apart?"

I can feel the heat rising to my face. "No matter how much Nicholas may resemble Andrew, my heart would not react to him the way it does to Andrew. I know it!"

He laughs. "I know exactly what you mean. You've seen how much Serena looks like Eva."

"Yes, sometimes I can't tell them apart until she is speaking to me."

"They tried to use her to drive me away, but no matter how much they look physically alike, Serena could never jump start my heart the way being close to Eva does. Nor do her eyes dance like Eva's when she's happy."

I can't stop my escaping giggle. Jackson and I are alike in so many ways. I force myself back to the present situation. "Jackson, do you think that he is aware of his changes or that they could be originating because of something that happened the evening they got hold of him?"

"Mia, I'm not sure exactly what is going on, but our last discussion really got me thinking. Eva was desperate when they first changed to hold on to a piece of her humanity. She wrote down her memories. I went and took a look at them and they don't seem to mention Jonathan and Nicholas until later. Even then, the writings were different. They weren't descriptive like when she wrote about the others, they didn't flow right. It was as if she was trying to force their appearances."

"Are you saying they weren't there? Why would they separate when all they had was each other?"

"I'm not sure what I'm telling you, but I am going back down tonight to reread the stories and look for an explanation."

"Can I come with you?"

He looks toward the twins' room. "Wait until their next feeding and if you are not too tired, I'll come back. You have to sleep too you know. When Andrew comes back if you look like hell, you know who he'll blame." He laughs.

My mind is raging with curiosity concerning Nicholas, his changes and this surreal world which now seems to consume my every thought, while holding my future at bay. I had never given much thought to good and evil before coming here or the idea of heaven and hell and who fought to rule. These were all abstract ideas, stories. My mind drifts to my mother's comments regarding having a guardian angel guiding her hand. I always thought it was her skill, but now I wonder if she really did have one. My thoughts shift to all of the individuals here whose destinies were forever changed by the surreal. William seems to hold considerable insight regarding this bemusing world, and reflects his knowledge in beautiful Technicolor that rivals even the most educated scholars. I mentally flip through images of all his paintings and sketches. Each depicts a great light penetrating the darkness. Even the portrait of Andrew's family portrays the two sides, those who always wanted to follow the path of right with those who wavered, who had the light trying to pierce their surrounding darkness. Hopefully tomorrow I can speak with him and see if he has any other light to shed upon this befuddling world.

My thoughts are interrupted by the twins rustling. I feed them and put them back to bed, leaving Martin and Suzanne a note before calling Jackson.

We walk down to an old root cellar that is completely re-outfitted with concrete. Reading Eva's stories, I am astounded at how they transcend the times. Their father, Raphael, always worked as a fisherman or farmer and Ann would stay in obscurity caring for the children. As they became older, they lived in Italy. Ann worked looming wool. Andrew taught the others how to work the fields and would then take the vegetables to market alone. There were references to Gabriel doing the same, but never Nicholas or Jonathan.

Reading on, I could see what Jackson meant. When Eva did refer to them, it was as if she put them there because they must have been there, but they were not directly involved in the action.

A dim light streams through the open doors announcing the breaking dawn as I come across the account of the little bridge. Eva's notes reveal that Andrew was hoping to catch a deer, but lost his bow and arrows when he fell into the water below. I laugh when I read that Eva rescued the bow and one arrow and handed it to Andrew telling him to make the shot a good one.

Jackson comes over to me. "We should go. There is a lot to do. Can you tell the kitchen staff to cook and that Gabriel is gone? I'll start rounds in the terminal building."

As we walk back, I tell Jackson about the story Nicholas told me and how Eva's records and Andrew's account note that it was Andrew who almost drowned. He can't understand why Nicholas would have thought it was him either and decides that he will ask him about this tonight.

For now, we have to put the surreal aside to deal with real world issues. I say good-bye to my family. It is nice leaving on a good note.

The day speeds by. I haven't heard from Andrew and hope that they are safe. My subconscious laughs, reminding me that Andrew has survived throughout this world's tumultuous history.

Mrs. Ferguson takes a turn for the worse. I contact her family and am surprised at the gruff reply to just call the funeral home when it happens. After completing my rounds, I know her time is close and want to do as Andrew would do, ensure she does not die alone. As I sit in the silence, my thoughts drift back to William's paintings especially the one with the angel and I regret not being able to speak with him. I drift and in my dreams, I see the heavenly angel holding the child, adorned in light, but this time, she is running from her shadowy counterpart who is childless. The angel runs through the forest, across a bridge stretching over a fiery river until she is trapped upon a steep cliff. She struggles, but cannot get up the rocky cliff. Others with long sharp teeth and fierce black eyes join her shadowy counterpart. As darkness approaches, the angel clings to the child trying to protect it, shielding his eyes from the approaching horror. She turns the child toward the cliff, so he cannot see the approaching darkness about to engulf them both. I want to scream but cannot find my voice. The shadowy figure is upon them and then retreats from the light which is now dim, with a child in its arms. The child it carries is not the sandy haired child still clutched in the angel's arms, but a dark shadowy being whose head is ablaze. The shadows all but disappear, and I watch as the angel's light flickers and a red ring of fire engulfs them both! The angel stares at the fire, her eyes wrought with fear and dread. A tear rolls down her cheek just before the vibrating of my phone wakes me from my nightmare.

"This is Mia." I hear crackling in the background. The reception is bad, but I recognize the voice immediately and so does my raging heart.

"Mia, can you hear me?"

"You're a little scratchy, but yes. Have you arrived? Is everything alright? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Is everything alright there? Are you alone or with Jackson?" His voice sounds strange.

"I can find Jackson for you. I'm with Mrs. Ferguson."

"No, that's fine. Are you sure that you are alright?"

"Yes why?"

There is nothing for a moment and then his response sounds flat. "I just miss you."

"I miss you too. What's going on there?"

"I will tell you about everything when I get back. They're calling for me." The phone goes dead before I can even say goodbye.

I stick my head out and there is no sign of Jackson. I call, but it goes straight to his voicemail, so I leave a message.

Mrs. Ferguson flat lines and I make the arrangements, but am surprised Jackson hasn't called. I hope nothing is wrong.

I return to the residency, bathe the twins and my phone finally rings.

"Mia, sorry, I just got your message. Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Did Andrew get in touch with you?"

"I spoke with him." Jackson's voice sounds strange too, but before I can ask him about it, he says he has to go and I am once again listening to the dead air of a phone closed too quickly.

Suzanne and Martin graciously stay in my room again tonight in case I need to step out. I hear Kayla stir and go to rock her. As I do, I can hear the wind blowing and something falls outside. Looking out into the encroaching darkness, I don't see anything, but as my eyes scan further, I think I see movement among the trees, but it's just too dark to be sure.

# Chapter Twenty-Nine – An Unsuspected Alliance Forms

The next day, after feeding the twins, I run into Nicholas as I approach the terminal building. "Good morning Nicholas. Have you seen Jackson this morning?"

"No. Have you tried beeping him?"

"Not yet, I'll catch up to him later."

"Can I do something to help?"

"No. It's nothing important."

"I have to go and pick some vegetables to give the cook. How about you come with me and give me a hand, then we can look for Jackson. I could really use the help." Despite his innocuous words, he sounds concerned about something.

We make fast work of picking. Nicholas comes over to me to put his vegetables in the basket. "Have you heard from Andrew yet? What condition was the hospital in when they arrived? How many were hurt?" His questions are fast and his voice full of concern.

"He called last night but the reception was bad and they rushed him off the line so he didn't really say. Did you hear from anyone?"

"No, but that's typical. They get focused and can't see past what needs to be done. I tried calling Serena, but it kept going to her voice mail. Mia, can I ask you something very personal?" The intensity of his stare reminds me of our first encounter, but without the anger.

"I suppose."

His eyes shift down as he fidgets with the pepper in his hand and his tone sounds strained. "One night when you were in Katrina's room I heard you say that you wished that you could have traded places with her and that it should have been you there instead. Did you mean that? Would you have traded places with her knowing that you would no longer exist if you did?"

My stomach flips and I feel unnerved knowing Nicholas heard me. I knew Andrew had, but knowing he did too, I can't help but wonder how many others heard that and other conversations.

Remaining mute as I consider this, I see Nicholas' eyes shoot up to mine. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up." He mutters apologetically, his features are torn, and his stare bores into my eyes, pleading with me to answer.

I shake my head. "Um...No...You just caught me off guard. I didn't realize anyone else heard. Even now, I feel responsible for taking away the twins' mother. When the accident occurred if I could have been the one destroyed, I would have gladly traded places. We didn't always agree, but I never wanted to see her hurt, especially not because of me. I just hope that she is with David and my mother and that they are able to watch their children grow without being too disappointed at the choices I make in raising them." I hesitate, but then continue. "Can I ask what brought this on?"

His eyes shift down again. "I was just curious." His tone is laced with anxiety and I know there is something more to it. "People are always worrying about themselves and saying things they really don't mean."

My mouth opens, I want to say more, but know he still doesn't trust me enough to tell me what is going on. I close it before his eyes shift back to me knowing it would be unwise to push it with everyone gone, and fearful that our uneasy relationship could turn negative or even dangerous again. We search for Jackson, but no one has seen him since yesterday. As we continue through the buildings, I'm nervous but try and talk with Nicholas. "Is there something bothering you Nicholas? I can be a good listener. With all the mistakes I've made, I try not to pass judgment on anyone and...from our earlier conversation, you seem like you need to talk."

"What makes you say that?" His tone waivers and he appears nervous.

"Your questions...they..um..they sound as if something is troubling you" My tone becomes softer. "I suspect that you and Jonathan are on the outs by the way he looked at you yesterday." I can't help but stare down at my ringing hands and my tone is now almost inaudible. "I just want you to know that you can talk to me."

I can tell from his features he is shocked. "You mean that don't you?" In those five words I can also hear his need to talk to someone about whatever is going on with him and find that I really do want to be there for him, to help him.

Unwinding my hands, I shakily reach for his to stop him from walking. He turns to me. "I do mean it! You can talk to me."

In that moment, all of the trepidation, anger and unrest I have seen him hold regarding me seems to dissipate and in this unguarded moment, his voice fills with wonder. "Andrew is right about you, you are special. I can see why he has fallen for you. He is very lucky because you will fight for him no matter what." He smiles shyly. "Mia, I appreciate everything you did for me. I want you to know that my hesitation is not because I am up to anything. I'm not." I can hear his sincerity. "It's just...I'm not sure what's happening, so I can't really say now." His voice turns serious. "We need to find Jackson, he has never disappeared before. We should split up. I can move faster on my own and you could check the remaining buildings. Keep calling him, but promise me you won't leave this area, leave the outside to me."

I start for the next building, but he places his hands on my shoulders turning me to him. "Mia, I'm serious, don't leave the buildings!"

"Nicholas what's going on? What do you think happened to Jackson?"

He shakes his head, and I can see his worry. "I don't know, but I know what happened to me when I disappeared. I don't want you to be caught up in the middle of something like that so promise me!" His voice is laced with concern and from the way he looks at me, I know it's not just for Jackson; he is truly concerned for me too.

"I promise."

"As you go along, tell the staff that the patients are restricted to the courtyard area and inside."

"I'll tell them now. Do you want me to find Jonathan?"

"No! Not yet. Let me see what I can discern." He's gone before I can ask why.

Sure that Jonathan could move as fast and they could cover twice the ground, I'm confused as to why he wouldn't ask him to help, but then as I think about his tone when he said "no" I wonder if he suspects Jonathan of having something to do with Jackson's disappearance. I close my eyes to calm my raging thoughts and hope he will return soon so I can ask him and hopefully with Jackson.

I go to the psychiatric building knowing the patients there will be the first ones out. I see William and tell him personally. When he questions me as to why, I don't want him worrying so I say that one of the attendants saw a bear a little too close last night. I tell the same story to the others. I keep trying Jackson, but each time it goes to voicemail, my heart becomes heavier and heavier. What if they captured him and are torturing him like Nicholas? Fear grips my heart and is squeezing it like a vice. I become lightheaded and need to sit for a minute. Jackson wouldn't have strayed far from the grounds, I know it. What if they are close and what if they get Nicholas too?

I dial Nicholas and am relieved when he answers. "Mia, is everything alright?"

I can feel the air returning to my lungs and answer breathy. "I'm worried about you! You're out there alone, what if someone is out there? What if they get you too? I think you should keep this line open so I could hear if anything happens to you." He chuckles and I know why. I am not strong or fast. What could I possibly do to save him if he does run into trouble? "Humor me. You never know, maybe I could help or find someone who can. Please leave this line open!" I plead.

"Alright, I'll place it in my pocket.

Placing the earpiece in, so I can hear Nicholas, I go to check on the twins, giving Martin and Suzanne the same story to ensure they stay in the residency. Martin and Suzanne are watching television and feeding them. I go through the buildings again, my attention never diverting from the whooshing wind at the other end of the line.

Nicholas yells. Grabbing the phone, I scream. "What's wrong, are you alright?" I know he can hear me despite having the telephone in his pocket. Relief washes through me and I fall onto a nearby bench as he answers me.

"I'm fine. I just stumbled into a deep gorge I wasn't expecting. I'm sorry I worried you. I'm going to keep looking." When he returns the telephone in his pocket, it's as if someone has covered the mouthpiece. I can't hear the wind and find myself straining to hear any evidence that he is alright. It isn't helpful that my heart is now pounding in my ears as I grow even more anxious for him. Finally, to my relief, whatever was interfering must have shaken loose and I can hear again. My heart slows to just overanxious and at least I can get back up and move.

My phone beeps. The caller ID reveals it is Andrew. I desperately want to talk to him, but am afraid to leave Nicholas on his own. Something is going on. I can feel it, an eerie feeling of something dangerous that causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end.

I would never forgive myself if I click over and something happened to Nicholas. I decide to wait until I get to another line and then I will try Andrew. I slip the phone back into my pocket and start toward the contagious building.

The angel on my shoulder shouts. You promised Nicholas you wouldn't leave the courtyard. She halts me in my tracks, but then my devilish side appears. You said you'd check out all the buildings and warn everyone not to leave the area. You haven't gone down there and you haven't been able to contact them. What if Jackson is down there and his phone died. All this fuss would be for nothing and Nicholas is wasting time or may even be at risk for nothing. I push off my angel and walk with determination down toward the building.

I'm almost there. The trees rustle behind me. I freeze, turn my head and then force myself to continue moving, looking over my shoulder. When I see nothing, I face forward, running right into Jonathan. His face is wrought with a murderous glare. I step back. The ferocity of his features startles me and is more frightening than Nicholas' the day I spilled coffee on him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you." I force the words, feeling strangled.

He continues staring, saying nothing.

My eyes widen, there is something in his features that is not right, something all consuming. He's never seemed to hold animosity toward me before, but at this moment, he looks as if he wants to kill me. My angel slaps me across the face hard and I blink. There is no time to dwell on why he is looking at you this way. Move! Move now!

"Jonathan, I have to go." I squeak, but he doesn't budge. "Please excuse me. I have to get to the contagious building."

He moves toward me, blocking my way. With each step, his features become more determined, his eyes fiercer, darker. I gasp, knowing I could lose my life in the blink of an eye. Stepping back into a set of hot hands which grasp my shoulders, I scream. I jump, whoever has me jumps, but Jonathan remains immobile. Turning my head, my eyes meet Nicholas'. He drops his hands, positioning himself between us.

"Mia, I told you not to leave the courtyard area!" His voice is anxious, his eyes boring into Jonathan's who is now staring at him, angrily.

With each passing second, my heart rages wildly, fear constricts my throat and I struggle to answer. "I...I was going to check the contagious building in case Jackson was there." Nicholas' body tenses as if ready for battle. What could have transpired between them to go from working together to deceive me to this?

Before I can contemplate this further, Nicholas places his hand around my back. "Come. I'll go with you." As he moves me around Jonathan, he steps between us once more, keeping his head turned and Jonathan in his sight.

Although I once thought of Nicholas as my enemy, I'm glad to have him with me now knowing Jonathan would not have let me pass without his interference. I want to ask Nicholas how he knew where I was, but he is moving us so quickly, he practically carries me into the building quickly. Once inside, "What is going on with him? How did you know..."

"Mia, I heard you on the phone and it was a good thing you told him where you were headed. I thought I told you to stay on the grounds!" His embrace surprises me. When he releases me, his features reveal his relief. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, but what is going on with Jonathan?"

A staff member moves toward us and Nicholas asks about Jackson. "He was here about two yesterday."

We head out. I stop between the double doors. "Nicholas, you need to tell me what's going on!" I beg.

His voice is low and serious. "I'm not sure myself, but there seems to be a lot of activity in the woods, shadows and more of us, but not the half-breeds! That's why I keep moving so fast and don't want you past the main buildings!" He states strongly. He opens his mouth again, closes it, and then opens it once more, speaking with a hint of trepidation. "Mia, I have to tell you something, but I don't know what it means and I am not doing it intentionally, I promise you. Since I came back and realized how wrong I was, Jonathan has fought with me, warning me that my reform will bring about my destruction and destroy our family." This surprises me, but does explain the noticeable strain between them. He clears his throat, bringing me from my introspection. "That's not all. I have a stronger connection to Andrew. I can feel him more, what he's feeling and even thinking." His voice trails off and his eyes shift to the floor. "It's like he is an extension of me or I'm an extension of him. We had a connection before and affected each other, but I have never felt him as intensely as I do now." He becomes distracted, talking more to himself as if he's trying to work something out. "I feel and hear it all. The same must be happening to him as well. It's as if I am having a second conversation in my head that's not mine and living two lives at once." He's back from wherever he was and looks at me. "I don't know why it's happening, what started it or how long it will last, but right now, it is the strongest, most powerful pull I have ever felt between us!"

"You're telling me you feel everything he's feeling and have for a while!" I yelp aghast. The heat rushes to my face. Did he know what Andrew was thinking when we were together or when we shared... I can't let myself go there.

His face registers understanding. "Mia, there is nothing to feel ashamed of. I can see how much you love Andrew and I can feel how much he's fighting to keep what he feels for you from coming to the surface, like in the..." He pauses and I flush crimson. He's seen them too. "You have to know! Fight for him no matter what happens!" His voice is pleading. He touches my hand and his gray-blue eyes sparkle like blue diamonds, like Andrew's eyes. I gasp. He drops his hand immediately. His eyes shift downward, not wanting to meet my look. "I have to keep searching. Stay in the building area. Does everyone know there is no going out?"

Taking his hand, I don't want him thinking I gasped because he touched me. "I'm sorry, your resemblance to Andrew seems even more pronounced and it catches me off guard sometimes. It wasn't you! Everyone is staying inside."

Reaching the psychiatric building, he turns to leave, but I grasp his wrist. "Nicholas, please be careful. Open the line again! I'm worried for you and need to know what's happening."

He looks surprised, probably from my earnestness. "You mean that don't you. You're worried for me."

"I do mean it! I don't want anything bad to happen to you!" My hand brushes his cheek and I can feel my oncoming nervous tears.

He smiles. "It's funny how far you and I have come. Thank you Mia." He reaches into his pocket, opens the phone, and dials my number. As I reach to get the earpiece, he is gone. I hear the air pass through the line and know he's traveling quickly.

Knowing he can hear me, I whisper in the mouthpiece. "Nicolas, be careful and stay away from Jonathan. I'm afraid for you. I need you to come back!"

My hands are shaking and the tears are now rolling down my cheeks. I wipe them, secure the earpiece and go upstairs.

Martin and Suzanne are retiring for the evening. I'm surprised to learn that the news never mentioned the collapse.

Entering the kitchen, I call Andrew, but it goes straight to voicemail. Concerned that something's happened to Jackson and the danger Nicholas is in, I leave a message for him to call the spare phone.

Checking on the twins, Nicholas is up, but not crying. Picking him up, I sit in the rocker.

My anxiety level and quick rocking doesn't seem to bother him. I'm concentrating on the whooshing sound in my ear. Every so often, as if he can sense my heightened concern, Nicholas mutters a quiet reassurance. "Mia, I'm still moving. I'm fine, but I haven't found him yet."

Nicholas falls asleep. Putting him in his crib, I move toward and stare out the window straining to see any signs of movement. I am not prepared for what catches my eyes. Marcus, dressed in his hospital gown is crossing the courtyard. The window reverberates as I violently shove it open, shouting out to him, but he doesn't even shift his head. His pace quickens as he reaches the edge of the woods.

Slamming the window shut, I run out. I can't see Marcus but run into the woods where he entered, shouting his name. Looking around frantically for any signs of him, I wish I brought a flashlight. It's a new moon, the forest is pitch.

Finally, I catch sight of a white cloth moving far ahead of me. "Marcus, stop! Wait for me!" He doesn't even hesitate. Picking up the pace, I fall over the uneven ground which is impossible to maneuver blind. Rising again, I push on and finally begin gaining ground. The area is getting brighter. I gasp. Marcus is heading toward the lake. It is all aglow. I can't make sense of what I'm seeing. Fire appears to be rising from the rippling water. I'm frozen with fright and feel as if shards of ice have replaced the blood flowing in my veins. The flames move, traveling across the water's edge inching over the surface toward the middle of the lake as if forging a path for Marcus to follow. I can't breathe as my eyes now focus on two people standing in a boat in the center of the lake beckoning him. His father and brother are engulfed in the approaching flames, but don't burn.

My icy blood finally shocks my brain and I realize the flames are not flames at all but blazing shadows.

I scream and begin moving again. "Marcus, stop! We can go together. Please wait!" He quickens his pace, forging toward his beckoning family. The glowing water allows me to astutely avoid the rocks and I almost close the gap when something hits me from behind and I go flying forward, hitting my head on the thick roots protruding above the ground. Unsure of whether I lost consciousness and lost precious time, I stand up quickly, my head spinning wildly.

Forcing my head to move, I see the scene has shifted. The flames are not as bright. The area around the lake is overrun by shadowy pale faced creatures. Marcus is half way through the fiery path. I blink wildly, not believing what is in the distance. Jackson and Nicholas are fighting with several very muscular creatures whose faces appear maddened and burning with the desire to kill. There are too many of them on Nicholas and Jackson. They can't break free and Marcus is going to drown heading to what he believes is his family, but it's just an illusion. I'm taken aback as my mind grasps the reason for such an illusion. They won't just grab him; they need him to kill himself to hold his soul.

"Marcus, stop! It is not them, Marcus please turn around!" I scream, torn between running after him and the scene behind me. Looking at Jackson and Nicholas, I try to concentrate on what I'm seeing, hoping it is a mirage too, but their image does not shift, it isn't a mirage, it's a nightmare!

They shout. "Go after Marcus!"

I run, trudge through the water and swim. The water's glow turns blinding as I forge through the heatless fire. I'm close to Marcus and reach for him. He is just out of my grasp. As the shadowy figures of his family encircle him, I hear his brother's kindest little boy voice. "We need you, please come join us." I grab his arm, but he shrugs free, thrusts his arms under the water, then his head.

Diving under, I open my eyes, the shadows' glow lights up the underlay. Marcus is pushing himself down by raising his arms in an upward motion with his palms open. With each stroke, he descends further. I'm bridging the gap. My peripheral vision spies my father, his unconscious body sinking toward the lake floor. I gasp losing the last of my air supply. Closing my mouth, I'm forced to rush toward the surface. Spitting out the last of the water, I take in two deep breaths before re-submerging. Searching for my father and Marcus, my mind reels. My father left with Stephan. Why didn't he call me and let me know something happened? I see my father and swim quickly toward him, then through him. It's a mirage! My distraction costs me precious time. I should have known better. To make things worse, my lungs protest the lack of oxygen and I have to resurface. Struggling, I fear if the blazing glow extinguishes, I won't be able to tell which way is up, I pray it doesn't.

My sluggish arms grasp the water engulfing me, tearing through the watery curtain that threatens to consume me. Breaking free, I inhale deeply and submerge myself again. Frantically searching, knowing if I don't find Marcus soon, the watery grave which claimed his brother will claim him too. Deep down I go. Marcus is laying on the bottom, his eyes open and no sign of movement. My lungs wither from the lack of oxygen, I feel lightheaded and disoriented, the surface lights are dimming and there is no possibility of my being able to surface for air and find him again. My time is running out. I fight compelling myself downward, my lungs fighting each descending movement as my oxygen deprived muscles contract. Reaching him, I grab his arm hoping I can muster enough strength to pull us both to the surface which seems further away and dimmer. Every muscle in my body cries out in excruciating pain, craving relief that only a new influx of oxygen can cure.

The water turns black. Disoriented, I panic not knowing if I am heading up toward air or down into a watery abyss that will forever claim us both.

Breaking through the surface, I inhale deeply while holding Marcus' chin above water, searching for his carotid artery, there is no pulse! Grateful for my teenage lifeguard training, I pull him to shore and start CPR as soon as his torso is far enough out of the water. I push down over and over again; hear a brief intake of air, but then nothing. Desperate for any sign of life, my compressions become more forceful, but after another one hundred repetitions, there is nothing. He was under too long. If I only hadn't gone for the mirage, maybe I could have saved him. "Marcus I'm so sorry." I stroke his cheek as tears stream down my face.

# Chapter Thirty – An Enemy Uncloaked

I can't believe I wasn't attacked and lift my head. The frightening shadowy creatures, vampires and even Nicholas and Jackson are gone. Pulling Marcus' body further up shore, I call out to Jackson and Nicholas, hoping they were able to at least escape, but there is no response.

Straining to listen, I hear rustling through the trees, rise and begin running. My wet clothes are heavy; their weight slows me down. Seeing a faint incandescence in the distance, I move quickly towards it and can now see Jackson's beautiful porcelain face and sandy hair. He is amidst three tall dark haired vampires shrouded in a dark mahogany radiating glow; his arms and legs are flailing, trying to break free. He kicks one in the face, but cannot free himself. My eyes search wildly for Nicholas, hoping he can help, but there is no sign of him as they move Jackson deeper into the now ominous forest. How am I going to help, if he can't break free with all his strength? As they move forward, so do I. I need to catch up, do something. As the tall trees allow the darkness to claim us once more, I catch sight of a golden light streaking through the foliage toward Jackson. My eyes affix upon three of the most unmistakably beautiful porcelain faces.

I shake my head, they are in Brazil, it has to be an illusion, but the vision does not change. Eva, Serena and Damian are closing in on Jackson; Eva throws herself at one of the vampiric demons. Knocking him to the ground, she stabs him with a wooden stake in the torso. The creature opens its mouth as if to scream, but there is no sound, no movement as she leaves it immobile on the ground. She charges at one that is holding Jackson's arm while Serena and Damian rip off the last one grasping his leg, successfully freeing him as others encircle them. Jackson hurls himself into the air, crashing into the one who is about to jump on Eva. As they fall toward the ground, Jackson's hand is extended; Damian tosses him a stake which he catches without even looking up. Thrusting the stake into the vampire's heart; Jackson pulls a lighter from his pocket and immediately, the vampire's clothes are on fire. Some of the others retreat, while others forge ahead unfettered by the fact that one of their own lay burning.

Nicholas is nowhere in sight. Knowing I cannot help in this mayhem, I move in the direction the others came from calling out his name. If I can find him, I can at least alert the others and get him help. Straining to see, I finally catch sight of a crimson streak amidst the trees, darting after it despite the screams for me to stay, something pushes me down. Scrambling to my knees, my widening eyes focus on the horrific sight of Jonathan and another vampire, shrouded in mahogany light, attacking Nicholas, trying to rip him apart as he struggles without success to wrench his arms free. Gabriel and Andrew are approaching from behind. Their soft shimmer will soon give them away. My heart seizes, my blood turns cold and I am immobile as I watch with horror at what is approaching behind them. Bloody and fierce faced figures of Marie, Edward and Stephan shrouded in flaming shadows coiled like predators ready to strike them.

Calling upon every last vestige of strength I can manage, I force out a blood curdling scream that echoes off of the trees. Hands rise from the darkened earth grasping my ankles, fastening them to the earth. I struggle to wrench them free.

Stephan grabs Andrew from behind. Relief washes over me as Andrew tosses him like a rag doll, sending him cascading through the trees. Marie dives for him and misses, crashing into Edward. They disappear through the trees.

As Jonathan realizes the approaching threat, he calls out "Now!" Several creatures jump down from the trees, blocking their access to Nicholas.

I can't believe Andrew is here, it has to be a mirage. I keep staring at him, but his image remains unchanged. His face focuses on the shadows that are enshrouding us all.

Jonathan pushes Nicholas towards me, shouting. "This is your last chance to survive, kill her!"

Nicholas yells. "Mia, run!"

I want to, but I'm tethered to the earth. Jonathan reaches into his pocket, removes a stake and plunges it into Nicholas' chest. Nicholas falls to the ground motionless. At the same moment, Andrew falls motionless as well, but no shadow has touched him. Gabriel knocks down the vampire now grabbing him while lighting another's shirt on fire. Reaching Andrew, Gabriel shakes his head searching wildly for the cause of Andrew's immobility. A shadow is flying towards Andrew, but Gabriel lunges forward knocking him off balance. Jackson, Serena, Damian and Eva find us and join the fight, while Andrew and Nicholas lay helpless on the ground.

Jonathan twists the stake deeper into Nicholas. "You will destroy her and free yourself! He will destroy himself going after you and all of his power will be yours, if you don't I will destroy you both!"

As I watch this unfolding horror, Eva lunges herself at Jonathan. I finally break free and crawl to a nearby Nicholas. Putting both hands firmly on the stake, I pull with all my might but the stake barely budges. Reaching further down, I pull again, removing it. Nicholas's eyes close, but he lay there still and I don't know if he is dead or alive.

I want to rush to Andrew but before I can get up, Marie, Stephan and Edward resurface, encircling me. Stephan's ominous voice rings in my ears. "You led us here to die! How could you let us suffer like this?"

Edward chimes in. "Please save me!" Edward shrieks in pain. "Save me!"

I reach out to him. "What can I do?" I scream.

Jonathan breaks free and is approaching me, yelling out. "You can still save the boy if you trade places!"

"Don't hurt him and I'll..."

Nicholas hoists himself at me, his hand outstretched, knocking me to the ground grasping my mouth. "Don't, it's a trick. It's not your family! They're safe."

Jonathan lunges at him, while he is still on me. In a flash Nicholas is on his feet and as the two collide, I hear a deafening crashing noise.

Sitting up, Stephan and Marie are upon Andrew who is fighting them while Jonathan and Nicholas are rolling around violently. They hit a tree, but merely leave a dent. I hear Jonathan. "I don't understand what happened to you! All you had to do when your connection with him strengthened was to destroy her and allow him to seek revenge, bringing him to the darkness, and then you could have consumed him and all of his power! Why couldn't you fulfill your destiny? How could you let her destroy you by siding with them? You will always be subservient to Him. There can only be one ruler in His world and it will never be you! Your own family will not even ever love you knowing what you are. There is still a chance, kill her and everything in the underworld, his world will be at your disposal!" They rip at each other shredding their shirts. There is no longer a hole in Nicholas' chest from the stake.

Andrew successfully stakes Marie and Stephan, each lay paralyzed and no longer resemble my brother or his wife. He moves to help Serena who is surrounded. Jonathan and Nicholas continue to struggle. Their pendants tangle, intertwine and click several times. Nicholas' once crimson light turns dull, pink almost, as if the crimson has mixed with white. I gasp seeing the light hovering above the pendant and then thrust into Nicholas's chest, his body recoils back. Jonathan seizes the opportunity and bashes his head into the ground. Nicholas' grabs his head. At that same moment, Andrew does the same.

Everything that is happening to Nicholas affects Andrew. My dreams of Nicholas emerging from Andrew along with the child being ripped in two blazes before me as the painting of the angel ascending on its shadowy counterpart flashes across my mind's eye. Their touches are unlike any of the others, one icy cold and one hot. The connection and feelings that Nicolas described pushes their way to the forefront of my mind as Jonathan's words concerning Andrew going after Nicholas and Nicholas consuming Andrew scream in my ears. The image of the missing light in Nicholas' pendant for his mother collides with everything which is now revealing itself to me. Realization of a truth beyond comprehension hits me like a wrecking ball overwhelming me as my conscious observations and unconscious dreams flash across my mind like an engrossing movie running parallel with the unfolding war between the incandescent and crimson lights. They are all connected, but my conclusion has to be wrong, they can't be connected that way, but then how? My mind is spinning out of control. Time is running out, I need to make the true connections, quickly.

Jonathan lifts Nicholas throwing him like a rocket toward the jagged rocks. As he flies across the air, Nicholas features change, he looks more and more like Andrew, his hair even darker than this morning. His back hits the rocks. Undeterred, Jonathan hurls himself toward Nicholas, as Nicholas recovers and lunges himself at Jonathan. The fight is getting closer. I turn, Andrew is holding his own. Turning back, my mind cannot process what it sees and hears. "I'll make it look like you killed her. You will be destroyed. No one will save you. No one will love you and you will forever burn in the abyss with your mother!" Although I hear Nicholas' voice, his menacing utterances have to be coming from Jonathan, but how? Frozen, I stare at the two bodies rolling toward me. It is impossible to tell who is who, they both look like Nicholas.

In that very moment the meaning of his words become crystal clear. Jonathan is going to use his power of deception to make it look as if Nicholas kills me. Nicholas' soul has been released, that was the strange light I saw thrashed into him. Andrew will avenge my death and by destroying Nicholas, he will destroy them both. Nicholas will die and Andrew will have made the decision to do evil, forever tying him to the darkness.

Even concentrating, I could not shift the images, see who is who, they are moving too quickly. They are inches from me. I'm knocked out of the way by something cold and hard. My shoulder cracks. I cannot breathe! Someone is protecting my head with his cold hands. I shriek. "Mia, I'm sorry. Where are you hurt?" It's Jackson. I fight to focus, knowing there are only seconds before Jonathan will break free and carry out his plan.

"Jackson, listen!" I gasp. "You were right. Nicholas and Andrew are connected and Jonathan is going to destroy them both!" Jackson is ripped away from me and sent flying into a large spruce tree, cutting it in half. As the top topples, I scurry out of the way. A pair of hot hands grabs me. Looking up, I meet the fierce face of a vampire who bears her teeth. I scream. Someone yells. "She's mine!" Digging her sharp nails in my already broken shoulder, I yell. Andrew has been driven at least fifty yards away from me, but the look of horror on his face is unmistakable. He struggles against two burly vampires holding him down. Tears veil my eyes, I blink furiously. I need to see where the yelling is coming from. I see Nicholas approaching me, but his murderously fierce eyes tell me it's Jonathan. Scanning the area, for the real Nicholas, he is being held down, his mouth clamped by two vampires, moving him into the darkness.

I scream to Andrew. "It's not Nicholas, its Jonathan! It's ..." The vampire covers my mouth. I am going to be killed and Andrew is going to kill himself going against an innocent Nicholas.

As Jonathan's words ring in my ears, my thoughts shift quickly through everything I heard, the connection he claims they have, how one will consume the other, how Nicholas believes he lived Andrew's memories. These thoughts flood my consciousness as all of my unconscious observations finally force through and the wrecking ball which hit me earlier forcing the connections around in my consciousness meets the lightning bolt hitting my unconscious observations, forcing everything to intertwine in the forefront. Light finally pierces through the shadowy deceptions and I see the connections clearly. The realization which I thought beyond comprehension and forced aside is true. Andrew is not affected by Nicholas because they are twins. None of the others ever experienced anything remotely similar. Nicholas isn't hearing Andrew's thoughts or feeling an intimate connection now because of a special sibling bond. Andrew is affected by Nicholas and Nicholas by Andrew because they are one in the same, two sides of one coin! That's why Andrew's soul appears so white, Nicholas's so red and all of the others are a mix. That's the reason Nicholas is not remembered by Andrew or Eva, he wasn't there before the conversion. Nicholas' appearance resulted from the conversion.

Nicholas figured it out. He was right, he could feel Andrew because Andrew is an extension of him, and they are an extension of each other. He must have suspected that they are one in the same, but the realization was just too fantastical even for him to believe. Maybe that's why he asked me if I could still love Andrew if Andrew had some of Nicholas in him.

The conversion fragmented not only Andrew's mother soul, but Andrew, the good Andrew and bad Andrew (Nicholas). Then when Nicholas, despite what they wanted him to be, wanted him to do, chose to do good, it manifestly weakened their hold on this family. That's why they attacked.

If the good Andrew chooses to do the wrong thing, if he chooses the evil solution, avenging my death and kills what he thinks is his brother, his darker side (Nicholas) will become more powerful, and he will consume the Andrew who wants the light. Both sides will converge, but it will be the dark side of Andrew (the old Nicholas version) who will victoriously emerge, forever threatening to hold this family to the darkness.

During their fight, Jonathan released the part of Andrew's soul held in Nicholas' pendant. In destroying Nicholas, Andrew will be destroyed too. Killing Nicholas will release a part of Andrew's soul to be claimed forever by the abyss ensuring that he will always belong to the dark shadows.

I see a bright light encircling Andrew and he breaks free, but Jonathan is only a few feet away, he will never reach me before Jonathan does. All he will see is Nicholas kill me. It's over. My heart sinks. I struggle, but can't even free my lips to scream the truth to save either of them! If only I could have told Andrew what I finally figured out, at least my death would not have been in vain. I close my eyes as Jonathan lunges at me. I hear an intense crack but I do not feel additional pain. Am I dead? If I am, why do I still feel the pain in my shoulder? I'm falling sideways. Hitting my broken shoulder, pain radiates through my body and my eyes fly open. Cold arms embrace me, lifting me off of my shoulder. I can't be! Andrew is holding me. My mind briefly registers Gabriel moving away from Jonathan as Jonathan is being forced back by three bright, golden, translucent light figures and one faint light reminding me of an echo. Blinking wildly, my mind is stunned. The illuminations resemble the little girl on the train, the young student in Minnesota, my mother and a beautiful young woman with golden hair and sparking hazel eyes.

Andrew lifts me. "We can't leave Nicholas!" Andrew's beautiful face contorts with anger. "He just tried to kill you! I have to get you out of here!"

"No!" I yell. "It wasn't him, he's over there!" I raise my good arm pointing to the trees.

Andrew turns and then his head is whipping between Nicholas in the trees to the Nicholas being driven back by the ghostly figures.

Jonathan registers what's happening and yells. "Destroy him now!"

"Andrew, you have to save him or you'll die too!"

The vampires kick Nicholas' legs out from under him and attack. Andrew falls. We crash against the hard ground. Andrew's immobile, but I know he isn't hurt. Scrambling to my feet, I run toward Nicholas yelling. "Jackson, Gabriel, anyone, please help me save him!"

Jackson and Eva reach the vampires attacking Nicholas and throw them off, but not before they light the match. He is ablaze. I throw myself at him trying to put out the flames. Jackson is at my side extinguishing them, but Nicholas lay there still. He is dying, I know it! He suffered too much damage.

Lifting his neck with my good hand, I shimmy myself under him, stroking his face. "Nicholas, please you can't die, please!"

"Mia, it's too late. I'm sorry, I tried to save Andrew! I did. I'm sorry."

My tears overflow. When he dies, Andrew will be lost to the darkness forever. I cry out. "Mom, please help me save him. I'll do anything!" The echo of my mother's light appears at my side as Nicholas struggles with his last breaths. "Mom, please what can I do? I need to save him, help me!"

"Mia I can't tell you what to do but you only have moments to figure it out. Trust your instincts." She drifts away to help the others, her echo glints on his empty pendant.

I look at Jackson desperate for answers. "What are your instincts telling you, Mia?"

My eyes shift down to Nicholas. At that moment I see Andrew, I would never be able to tell them apart now. My heart races wildly, I am losing Andrew, both sides of him. I have to win! Leaning down, my lips are at his ear as the angel kneels by him, stroking his temple. "Nicholas, I do love the part of Andrew that is you." I kiss his cheek softly. "Stay with me!" I plead. A slight smile crosses his lips despite his struggling to breathe. "You have to be together again. You can't exist apart any longer. Please, I love you, both sides of you, please help me!"

Nicholas' eyes turn pale. He lifts his hand, stroking my cheek and with his last breath whispers. "Mia, I love you."

As he takes his last breath, the light that was thrust into him during the fight is now hovering near me. As a similar light escapes from me, I'm thrust back, darkness is piercing my peripheral vision and I am barely cognizant watching my light encircling Nicholas'. Jackson's voice is a faint echo. "Andrew, tell Mia that you love her now. It's the only way!"

I can't hear Andrew's response as the last of my fleeting breath escapes. My eyes roll back and I am floating over myself, looking down as I had after the accident. Jackson is holding me while Gabriel moves Andrew next to Nicholas' body. A brilliant light eclipses the darkened sky and streams upon Nicholas and Andrew. The light is blinding. Within its brilliance, a beautiful angel emerges; his face pure perfection, eyes brilliant sparkling blue diamonds and hair the color of gold. I hear Gabriel call out to him. "Michael, I thought you could not interfere?"

"I didn't, when you turned Nicholas away from the darkness so that Andrew's shattered soul could be reunited and reemerge as the one tied to light, you saved yourselves and activated the key that may be used to free you from your prisons. Andrew will be fine as soon as I leave. Since they failed to turn him and activate the key in a way to release all of you only to the darkness, the key can only be used to release your souls back to you.

Grab the key before it is dragged back to hell, where you cannot reach it! Release yourselves. There is no more hold on your souls except your own. If the time comes when you are destroyed, your actions will decide where you go." Then all goes dark. Looking to where Andrew and Nicholas lay, only one remains. The golden haired angel is still with him, whispering in his ear.

Descending back into myself, I crawl to him. He's stunned, but carefully embraces me while staring at the angel whom I can now hear answering an unspoken question. "Andrew I have been watching since my passing. Forgive yourself. You saved me that day so that I could go on and live a happy life. I know you are a good man and did not leave by choice, why do you think I sent my descendants to help you. Finally, after these many hundreds of years, I found a soul on this plane bright enough to lead you out of the darkness which tried to rob you of your morality, compassion and purity of heart! Now that you have found her, watch over her, protect her, he won't give up on someone like her, but most of all, love her. She loves you and it's time that you allow your heart to love someone back." She kisses his cheek and disappears.

Andrew's face now gazes upon me. "I love you." I can't believe he is actually here. His face is perfect, serene, his eyes brilliant blue and sparkling, but not as light as before. His hair is no longer raven but a dark sandy brown. His arms embrace me lovingly and I notice that they are cold but not ice cold as they had always been. I'm elated. I can tell by his changes that both sides of Andrew survived. My eyes shoot to his pendant. The light is no longer a brilliant white, but salmon.

All of the shadows are gone, only Jonathan remains and he no longer remotely resembles Gabriel. Instead, his face is the portrayal of the demons of Judgment Day. The brilliant figures still surround him. My mother moves toward us. "I can't wait. I'm sorry. We have to send him back." Her eyes are pleading. There's something I'm missing. I look towards him. "Wait! Andrew, get me to Jonathan." He flies at him and I grab the pendant. As Jonathan swipes my hand, my mother knocks him to his knees.

"We have to go. I love you Mia."

"Mom, I love you. Thank you."

"Be happy. Tell your father I love him." She comes closer and I feel her warmth, her happiness. She and Jonathan disappear with the young boy.

The little girl from the train approaches. "Forgive yourself. I was so grateful to not be alone." She disappears too.

# Chapter Thirty-One – An Ancient Secret Unearthed

Relief washes through me as I realize the fighting is over, Andrew is still standing and I am in his arms! I cling to Jonathan's medallion and rest my head against Andrew's shoulder. Although the pain is excruciating, relief makes made me giddy.

We begin back. "Wait! You have to get Marcus!" Remembering his loss, my eyes fill with tears. "He's by the lake."

Gabriel and Jackson disappear and then rejoin us carrying Marcus' body.

Andrew places me in a room. Eva enters carrying a syringe. "Mia we have to reset the shoulder, repair the break and take some x-rays, I suspect you have broken ribs. She plunges the needle into my arm and within moments I become drowsy.

Andrew is at my ear. "Sleep, I will speed up the healing process as much as possible. I love you." Stroking my cheek, his cool lips brush mine tenderly. His words and his kiss jump start my heart.

As my eyes droop, I see Eva looking disapprovingly at him. "That might not be a good idea. We need her to relax, not burn up the morphine with her overactive adrenaline."

He sports a wicked grin, kissing me once more and is out the door.

In the fog of my escaping consciousness, my fingers wrap tightly around Jonathan's pendant. When I wake, Andrew is stroking my cheek. Looking at him now is slightly strange. His face is still the most perfect I have ever gazed upon, but his once brilliant sky blue eyes, now sport a shade of evening mist and his raven hair is a softer darkened brown. I see them both in his features. I see the man of my images, only slightly paler. Regardless of the change, I am sure that his soul is more beautiful now that it is whole and that my love for him has grown only stronger knowing how quickly he could have been lost to me.

"I love you." My voice is weak as I fight to keep my eyes open and for the first time notice his eyes are sad.

"I love you too. I'm only sorry I trapped you in our fate Mia! Michael was wrong! We are all still here." Removing the pendant from under his shirt, I see all three corners alight.

I smile. "You didn't!" I let Jonathan's pendant fall from my grasp. "I have the key!"

"Mia what are you talking about, you have his pendant."

I struggle to right myself, the residue of the morphine makes me want to go back to sleep. "When Jonathan and Nicholas were rolling around on the ground, I saw their chains intertwine and pendants clink. After hitting several times, Nicholas' light was released from the pendant's hold and was thrust into him. As it entered him, he looked as if he was almost knocked over.

Andrew stares at Jonathan's pendant twisting it in his hands. "I wonder." He touches it to his, once twice, three times, but nothing happens. Removing his chain, he clinks them together, holding them in perfect alignment, still nothing. Frustration and disappointment show in his features.

"Andrew, I know what I saw. The light definitely left the pendant and entered Nicholas."

"I believe you and I can see the change in my pendant. But it just doesn't seem to be working now!"

"They said we found the key. It has to have something to do with what I saw."

Hearing the disappointment in my voice, he strokes my cheek. "Mia, I'm sorry, you saved me from being thrust into an eternity in darkness serving him today, but I have entrapped you!" His voice fills with emotion and his eyes become unendurably sad as he stares at the pendant, stroking the additional light with his thumb.

"Andrew you are not condemning me, you are giving me the greatest gift, your love." I say slowly, deliberately.

"I do love you! I just..." I bring my finger to his lips.

"Stop, don't give up hope. No matter what results, I don't regret anything, so don't you?"

He kisses me gently before we return to staring at the pendants. I close my eyes trying to recall each detail and recall how Nicholas' pendant only encased one light. I wonder if Jonathan's really contained his mother's and Lucy's or if it too was an illusion, but now all the chambers are dark. I ask Andrew, but he never really noticed.

"Can you get Jackson? We were talking about all of the connections, maybe he can help." Andrew disappears and returns with Jackson.

"Andrew filled me in on what you saw happen and what he's tried..." Before Jackson can finish, Gabriel comes in.

"Mia, I think you're right about the pendants being connected. Michael did say we found the key to our freedom. He couldn't have been mistaken! Maybe we are just using them improperly."

He removes his pendant, clinks it with Jonathan's but then gasps, dropping Jonathan's pendant on the bed and staring at his shocked.

"What's wrong?"

He turns his pendant revealing a third illumination. Stroking it gently, his eyes become unfocused. Andrew appears just as bemused about this development. Andrew stands, putting his hand on Gabriel's shoulder bringing him back. "I don't understand! It didn't catch her. I stared at the pendant for months." Picking up Jonathan's pendant, he touches it to his again, nothing happens. Andrew's pendant is still lying on the bed when Gabriel slams his and Jonathan's down in frustration. "I just don't understand this! I thought we had answers and now there are only more questions." He paces and mutters something I cannot hear.

Looking down at the bed, Andrew and Gabriel's pendants are touching, their lights brighter. "Look at the pendants!" All eyes shift. Gabriel and Andrew pick them up and their lights dim. "Hold them together!" I screech excited. Clutching them together firmly, a glow escapes from between their hands. All of a sudden, I feel as if someone punched me in the chest, knocking all the air out of my lungs, but no one touched me. Andrew and Gabriel recoil from each other as if they have just pushed one another and fall to the floor.

Jackson gapes at me. "How are you feeling?"

My chest no longer hurts. "I feel fine."

He helps Andrew and Gabriel back to their feet. As they open their hands, all the lights in their pendants are gone. The chambers are empty and black!

"That's it!" Andrew's features register his shock. "Get everyone now!"

Jackson and Gabriel disappear. Andrew lifts me off the bed swinging me around. "We did it! You did it! We are actually free!" He is euphoric and kisses me fiercely sending such a charged lightning bolt through my entire system, my heart pushes against my ribs, my pulse races wildly and my body feels as if someone electrically shocked me. I grasp him with my good arm, kissing him with all the intensity of my charge, he shudders, pulling me tighter to his chest, despite my awkward cast.

As the others come in, Andrew places me gently on the bed before turning to his siblings. His face beams with excitement and I know it's because he may finally see his family at peace and free. "Eva, Serena sit down and take off your pendants, Jackson, Damian sit next to them. Hold your pendants together make sure your lights match up." We watch, each holding our breath as their hands clasp the aligned pendants together tightly. Nothing happens.

Andrew features reveal his bemusement. "Are you sure they're aligned?"

Eva answers, her eyes never leaving their hands. "Yes"

"What are we missing?" I can see him ticking off what he and Gabriel did in his head and comparing it to what he observed and then he grabs Jonathan's pendant thrusting it toward Eva. "Align your pendant with Jonathan's." He turns to Serena. "Then you do the same before aligning each of yours again."

As they join their pendants, the room is perfectly silent, the tension and anticipation is palpable. Light escapes from their hands, they are thrown back on their chairs and when they open their hands, the pendants are dark. Francis and Catherine follow the same sequence and they too are released.

Their perfect pale porcelain faces are frozen. Only their astounded eyes glance from each other to the pendants which once served as their prison. Each astonished, they stand speechless as a light in the corner of the room grows brighter, drawing everyone from their stunned silence. In the glow, stands a beautiful woman her hair sandy brown and her eyes sea foam. She looks upon them with such love; it can only be their mother. "Thank you. I love you so very much! I can't stay, but know that your father and I are happy and grateful. I must warn you, use your powers for good. Losing this battle will make him fierce! Although you can never escape his transformation, that will not satisfy him. He is not done trying to claim you, especially now! Be strong and be happy." The light disappears.

"Where's Lucy?" Jackson finally inquires.

"Could she have disappeared with Jonathan?" Catherine asks.

"I don't think so." Eva replies.

"We should see if we can find her. She might be afraid to see any of us because of what Jonathan was. She can't be made to feel alone." Francis sounds worried.

They leave and Andrew sits by me. I can tell he is still shocked as his fingers brush the pendants lying on the bed. Now that the spike of adrenaline from this newest development ebbs, I feel exhausted, world weary and the morphine is making my eyes close. "Has saving a family from eternal damnation exhausted you?" He teases. His face glows with his absolute relief and joy. He is so beautiful and for the first time ever appears to be a man of his age, not weighted by worry of his family suffering because he could not save them. He kisses me tenderly and whispers. "Rest my rescuing and beautiful angel. I should tell Martin and Suzanne about your accident and see if they need anything. I'll be right back."

When I open my eyes again, Andrew is holding my hand. Sun fills the room. His smile is so genuine, his face absolutely glows. "Are you up for some company?" Figuring he means the twins, I nod. Gabriel and a beautiful dark haired woman with a pale complexion and soft brown eyes enter.

By the way Gabriel stares at her, kissing their intertwined hands, I can't help but smile surmising who she is, but await his confirmation. "Mia I would like you to meet Martina." His voice is filled with love.

I smile widely. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's a miracle to meet you! Thank you just doesn't seem enough." Her voice is filled with gratitude.

Without releasing her, Gabriel hugs me. "Thank you!" His eyes are so happy. "We'll see you later."

"How did this happen?"

"It was all part of Jonathan's deception. Martina was being veiled as Lucy. When Gabriel didn't destroy himself, Jonathan hoped he would eventually move on so that he could reveal the deception causing Gabriel to kill himself over the guilt of moving forward while Martina watched helplessly. Martina has been forced to watch Gabriel suffer, knowing all that Jonathan had done, knowing that he was never part of our family and Gabriel is my twin. We found her locked in a closet, with a stake in her heart in the restricted building."

"He must have staked her when I ran into him on the road that day, when Nicholas saved me. How could he? I can't even fathom how Gabriel would feel if he did fall in love again or how Martina would feel watching it unfold."

Andrew takes my face in his cool hands, staring at me intently. His voice is soft and earnest. "You can't imagine such behavior because you are beautiful inside and out! Now will you believe me?" Leaning in to kiss me, his lips send my heart beating wildly. "I'm just blessed that you happened to cross my life in your travels."

A question pops to mind. "When did you get back, what happened at the hospital?"

A look of anger crosses his face. "Nothing happened at the hospital! It was all part of the deception. He was hoping that if we were gone, Jonathan could get you into a position where you would be helpless, commit to killing yourself or be fooled into committing to the darkness thinking that you were saving Edward."

Fear seizes my heart for my family. "Are they alright?"

His eyes turn soft. "I spoke to them. They are safe and now so are you!"

"When did you return?"

"We didn't make it all the way. After a few hours in the air I finally reached father Montague who runs the hospital for us. He said that everything was fine there. As soon as we put it together we turned the plane around. Heading back here, we noticed the activity in the woods, so we ditched the vehicles and scoped out what was happening. I ran into Nicholas when he was searching for Jackson. I am the one who frustrated you by covering the mouthpiece." He laughs. "I couldn't risk you hearing my voice. We had to let them think that they had successfully gotten us away and could proceed with their plan. It appears that you, Jackson and Nicholas were getting too close to the truth and he had to stop it and claim you before well, this happened. It almost worked. Even knowing that something was going on and we were being duped, when I thought that Nicholas was going to kill you, I would have never let him live if you died! He almost got everything he wanted."

I put my hand up to his lips. "Don't talk like that. I could never think of you hurting yourself, especially over me." I shake my head to dispel the image of him killing himself by killing Nicholas. Looking at him, I search his eyes, but they do not reveal the answer to my unspoken question. "How are you feeling really?"

He ponders my question. With each tick of the clock, I wonder if he's concerned that he has changed too much to even admit it to himself. He hesitantly answers. "I can't really explain it, but I always felt that there was something missing, a part of me that was lost. I put it off to what we lost during our transformation, but now I realize that it was the Nicholas part of me. While the others wavered back and forth about the right path to follow, I always felt as if I had no choice, no doubt in the course that was set for me, not realizing that I was actually watching a part of me struggle with that very issue. Then when Nicholas and I were on different paths, the way his actions made me feel weak, vulnerable and doubtful always made me wonder what would happen if his actions consumed me, changed me. Then you touched him." The love and wonder shining in his eyes as they stare into mine makes me breathless. "I felt and heard what you said to him when he was beginning to figure it out, when he asked you if you could love me if his personality was a part of me too. You didn't even hesitate. Knowing what you suffered because of his ...no... my actions, I have to ask why?"

Looking into the depths of his shining eyes, it is as if I can see his beautiful soul. "I didn't hesitate because I love you!" Picking up his hand with my good hand, I stroke his knuckles with my thumb. "Living the life I have, I realize that no one is perfect all of the time. We all struggle, but even as Nicholas, I mean you..." I'm getting confused. "Even the Nicholas part of you strived to do the right thing in the end. Isn't that really all anyone can ask of another is to try?"

His eyes shine with admiration. "You really are remarkable and one of a kind."

A stray sunbeam hits my leg and I can feel the warmth. "Let's go outside, it looks like a beautiful day. I think we have had quite enough of closed rooms and darkness."

"It is a beautiful day isn't it." He lifts me in his arms and kisses me tenderly before we go outside. Sitting on a bench, I catch sight of how his eyes, now reflecting the color of a deep ocean, shimmer just before he dons his sunglasses. The heat feels wonderful. Leaning into his side, I feel so happy. He takes my hand and his gentle touch tells me I am home. His lips brush my cheek, stopping at my ear. "I love you Mia!" His voice choked with all the emotion he's been holding back.

"I love you too!" I kiss him.

Someone clears their throat. Looking up, William is holding a painting. "This is for you Dr. Angelis" I finally finished it. The picture is of me the day we were at the lake, but my face is flawless porcelain and there is a hint of a perfect glow radiating around me.

"Thank you it's beautiful."

"Well that's how you look to me and I have a feeling to someone else as well." He nods towards Andrew who laughs. "You're absolutely right William."

"I hope that you're feeling better soon doc. I'll see you later.

I stare at the painting recognizing that my features strongly resembled Andrew's. He smiles at me. "It's a very realistic depiction. I will always see you as my guardian angel." He says soulfully.

We enjoy the beautiful sunshine. "So what will you do now?"

"Just because we have been freed doesn't mean that he is no longer a threat to mankind or to the people here. This place has been an amazing sanctuary for us and for all of those that we have kept safe. Now that we can all work in harmony, maybe we can expand out to others without the fear that each of us might choose the wrong path and undermine us all."

His look changes, his eyes are darker, wanting, making the butterflies in my stomach take flight. He shifts facing me. "Mia, I know that I'm still not human and could never offer you a normal life, but I love you more than I ever imagined possible! I know I have put you through some unbelievably surreal experiences and that the monster I am caused you to suffer a considerable loss, but I'm hoping that you can forgive me because I want to be a part of the rest of your life." His tone turns nervous. "I know I may be asking too much considering what has happened and knowing that since we thwarted his plans, we will never be off of his list..." I interrupt him.

"I'm sure that he is not done with me either." As I say the words, I know how true they are.

"With everything you endured, you became stronger. I am optimistic for the first time in my existence that he may not prevail the way he hoped! Still, considering the part of him I can never escape, I know that I'm asking a lot. I would understand if you wanted to walk away, but if by some miracle you could stand all of this ancient mysticism and warring factions, I'm hoping that you will agree to spend the rest of your life with me. I love you and need you in my life!" His eyes are beseeching, his tone pleading.

I'm stunned that he could be so uncertain as to my choice after all the times I told him I would not be forced to leave him. I wrap my good hand around his strong neck pulling myself up to his lips. "I don't want to be anywhere but next to the one I love! I need you too. I can't exist without you!"

He brushes his perfect lips across my cheek and hugs me gently, but then his embrace becomes ardent, his lips lock with mine and I can feel the heat rise within me as I'm nestled in his sculpted chest. I have finally found a place where I belong and the one who belongs with me. Although each of us knows that he is not finished with any of us, he no longer has the strong hold on them that he had hoped and that could keep us apart. We will face whatever the future has in store together, hand in hand.

# Chapter Thirty-Two - Epilogue

After a week of intense patrols by the St. Clouds they are convinced that there are no unwelcomed shadows lurking in the woods. The patients return to the trails, flowers are blooming and the trees are full of life. Even the small animals are out of hibernation and scurrying across the pathways.

My final x-rays reveal that my shoulder is healed and my ribs have mended nicely.

Martin and Suzanne will be going home today, but promise to return soon. Andrew has arranged for them to fly with Serena and Damian who are going to California to evaluate the case of a young girl to determine if she should be transferred here.

Upon Serena and Damian's return, Gabriel and Martina will exchange vows in the orchards.

Entering Andrew's office, he is the telephone with someone making some sort of arrangements. He thanks them before hanging up and moves around the desk. "Are you ready to get that off?"

"Absolutely, I don't know how people wait for bones to heal normally. I never realized how annoying a cast could be."

He hides a smirk as he gently strokes my cheek, sending my pulse racing. "Let's go downstairs and get this off." Removing the cast quickly, he turns to dispose of the last piece. Hopping down from the table, I wrap my arms around his waist stretching to kiss the back of his strong neck.

"I have been waiting to do that all week." I sigh as my lips touch his cool neck warming my blood as the sonic boom of my erratic heart pounds in my ears.

I feel him laughing as he turns around and wraps his arms around me pulling me closer. "If I knew this would be your response, I would have removed the cast days ago." He teases, his face holding none of the anguish it had before as his lips brush mine. He kisses me tenderly, but as my heart breaks out into a full sprint and I draw myself closer into his sculpted physique, his kiss intensifies and I become lightheaded. His lips retreat from mine, caressing my cheek as gently as a whispering wind. His voice is sultry. "Mia, we can't do this."

Hurt by his words, I pull away. Pulling me back into his embrace, his tone turns soft. "Mia, I love you, but if we don't get a move on, we'll miss our flight."

I don't understand. "What flight? What are you talking about?"

"Trust me! We will be back first thing tomorrow. Eva and Jackson are watching the twins. I have a surprise for you." His hand gently glides down my arm, causing me to shiver with the desire. I want to wrap myself around him and stay nestled within his strong arms, but he intertwines our hands and leads me to his SUV.

I question him all they to the airport, but he refuses to give me even the slightest clue about our destination or the surprise. We can't be going far since we need to return for tomorrow's ceremony. When we board the plane, he lifts the armrests separating our chairs and allows me to curl up into his side embracing me tenderly. I will never tire of snuggling into his chiseled side or seeing him look at me lovingly as he strokes my cheek. Although I always hoped we would be free to be together, not until this moment when he is not hesitating as he slides his hand to caress my back and whispers into my ear that he loves me, does my hyperactive heart register that our biggest obstacle is truly gone. Looking into his beautiful oceanic eyes, I see true love unhampered by fear.

"What are you thinking?" He asks staring into my eyes.

I raise my hand stroking his perfectly relaxed face. "Just about how much I love you and how I cannot believe that you love me back."

He slides me into his lap, wrapping his strong arms around me, I sigh. "Mia, I love you more than I ever thought possible. You are so unique, so beautiful. You gave back life to not only me but to my family. You brought them the peace I so desperately prayed for ever since our existence was forever altered." His face beams, mimicking the joy I feel in my heart.

As I nestle myself into his shoulder, I tease him. "Does that mean I deserve to have you tell me where we are going and what you are planning as well?"

His serene eyes turn mischievous. "You may deserve it, but I am still not going to tell you."

I try to make my voice sultry and begin caressing his stone cold neck with soft kisses. "Not even if I tempt you?"

"Although this is quite tempting," his breathing spikes and he kisses my cheek "And you could continue to try, we will be there shortly and I promise it will be worth the wait."

"Well as long as I can keep tempting you" I draw my lips across his strong jaw line towards his porcelain lips, kissing first one corner and then the other. "I guess I can wait a little while longer. But I have to warn you, if I get carried away, I may not let you leave this plane."

Pulling me closer, his lips besiege mine. All too soon, he releases me and I can feel the smile on his lips. "You are going to have to hold that thought, the plane landed and we need to depart."

I didn't even realize the plane descended and we stopped. He picks up a small bag as we depart. Opening the door to a waiting car, he holds out a small silk scarf. "Do you trust me?"

"You know I do."

He wraps the scarf around my eyes and I can hear him chuckle softly. "No peeking. I don't want the surprise ruined if you recognize the area."

"So this is someplace I have been to before."

He drives without responding, but places his hand on my thigh, stroking it gently. My blood overheats as desire unfurls within me and suddenly the car is too closed in. My hand reaches around seeking to open the window, if I don't get some fresh air, I will combust.

The car halts. I move my hands up to the scarf to remove it, but he is at my side, whispering in my ear. "Not yet." He lifts me out of the car and begins carrying me. I lay my head on his shoulder and despite my heated thoughts and raging emotions, I remain in the here and now, thankfully, but also drift to sleep.

I wake as he places me on my feet. Removing the scarf, he wraps his arms around my waist. We are standing before Lake Anna. The sun shimmers across the serene waters making it sparkle like little diamonds, as the soft waives, from a passing speed boat, reach the shore. Turning to him, his seraphic face absolutely glows in the sun and his eyes glisten. His perfect porcelain lips caress my ear. "I thought we could spend a few hours at the first place I was drawn to a beautiful young girl who would forever change my existence and who I had the privilege of watching grow into the wonderful woman I will love throughout eternity!"

His tender words melt my heart, I love him so. Bringing my hand to his silky cheek, I caress it. "I love you too." Stretching, I lean into his sculpted physique, and nuzzle his muscular neck. Feeling his strong, cool body against mine, ignites a fire within me and I pull him closer as my lips move to his.

I can hear his breathing increase and feel him shudder. He pulls me tightly to him and kisses me with such a fiery passion I'm surprised that the trees around us have not combusted. All too soon, he is pulling away. "Come with me." He intertwines our fingers and walks toward a cabin nestled just inside the trees. Opening the door, we step into a room with a hearth and pot belly stove. The sun is shining through the oversized windows making the quaint little cabin feel cozy.

Andrew removes some contents from his bag which I recognize as our bathing suits. He holds out the black one and hands it to me. His features turn all too innocent as I shake my head. "What's wrong?"

"Remember I told you the blue sports bathing suit is more my style." I take it and head toward the door with my arms crossed.

He is behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, his head on my shoulder, kissing my neck gently. My heart is raging, pounding in my ears. I can barely hear his soft silky voice. "All I can say is I want the opportunity to thank the friend who talked you into this suit because you look absolutely stunning in it."

Releasing me, I change. Stepping out, he is breathtaking in his gray trunks. I cannot tear my eyes from his absolute perfection. His tall stature, muscular physique and chiseled features make him look like a Greek god and the image of his coming out of the water when I was in a toga like dress makes me wonder if at some time he was just that.

As he moves closer to me, a sigh escapes my lips. He runs his fingertips along the piping of my swimsuit and it is as if he is igniting the wick on a stick of dynamite. As he reaches the nape of my neck, my heart explodes with a sensual desire and I throw myself at him trying to wrap my arms around him to pull him closer, throwing him off balance and we topple onto the couch. I run my fingers down his muscular arm as he runs his fingers down my spine, pulling me closer so that I feel each and every sinew and muscle. I'm lost in him and him in me. I feel that strange pull once more, but before it can take us to an image, we are upright on our feet, our breathing elevated. He leans down, placing his forehead to mine and kisses me tenderly. "You look absolutely beautiful and irresistible, but there is something I need to do before we get carried away, but it's not ready yet, so maybe we could enjoy the lake." His breathing has slowed, but his eyes are filled with mischief as he takes my hand and walks toward the lake. His expression tells me whatever he's up to he is very happy about it and his feelings are infectious.

The sun is warm against my skin making the cool water refreshing. As the wind picks up, Andrew swims to shore, returning with a wind surfer. I'm nervous, but he's amused. "Trust me, you'll love it." Helping me on to the board, I lean into his cool chest as he pulls up a large sail and we slowly glide across the crystal, clear lake.

Returning to shore, he suggests I go in and change. Entering the cabin, there's a warm fire in the hearth. Going over to the pot belly stove, I pour a steaming cup of coffee and retreat to the bathroom to change. Hanging on the back of the door is a soft gray halter sundress. Taking a quick shower, I go back into the room. Andrew passes me a glass of rose wine. "Why don't you enjoy the warm fire and I will be right out."

Sitting on the couch, sipping my wine, I stare at the flickering flames. I can't help thinking about all that has transpired to get us here. His cool hands on my shoulders pull me from my reverie. "Shall we?"

We head outside. Twilight at the lake is something to behold. The air is no longer hot and stuffy. Everything is perfect as I look out at the darkened lake against the indigo sky as the brilliant sun dips down along the horizon. Andrew leads me over to a blanket with a single picnic. Sitting down, he uncovers a small dish of fruits, vegetables and dips. "Are you surprised?" He inquires smiling.

I nod. "You shouldn't have gone through all of this trouble, especially with Gabriel's wedding tomorrow."

Leaning across the blanket, he lifts up the napkin revealing a small black jewelry box. "That's actually something that I want to talk to you about."

I stare into his deep blue eyes which are staring back at me. "I remember the last time Sanctuary had a wedding and how much I wished that you could wear a different diamond than the one I gave you that evening." He reaches across, stroking the pear shaped diamond which adorns my neck. He is leaning on one knee holding the now opened box in his palm. "Mia I love you! I loved you ever since the day you found me here and took me into your heart. I can't tell you what it means to me to have watched you grow into the beautiful loving angel who graces my dark existence. You have given me so much, more than I could have ever hoped for and I am hoping that you will do me the great honor of wearing this diamond at tomorrow's ceremony and agreeing to be my wife!"

Tears fill my eyes as I look upon this most perfect soul and realize that we can spend forever together. My heart bursts with the intense love that I feel for him and I can barely find my voice. I bring my shaking hand to his perfectly chiseled cheek. "Andrew, I love you" is all I can manage to say as I nod. His porcelain lips are on mine kissing me affectionately, drawing me into his chiseled chest sending my heart rate and pulse into the stratosphere. When my head is spinning, he withdraws and places the pear shaped diamond ring surrounded by eleven blue topaz and sapphire stones on my shaking hand.

"It's beautiful." I'm breathless.

He brushes the small stones with the tip of his cool finger. "It is not nearly as beautiful as you!" He kisses me gently.

"It's quite unique." I say looking down at it. "I don't think I have ever seen one like this."

A beautiful smile crosses his face. "I had a jeweler in town make it for me. I wanted it to always be a reminder to you of the bright light you are and the eleven souls you saved!" His voice is full of emotion as he strokes the center diamond and then traces the stones.

As the tears fall down my cheeks he embraces me tenderly. "Thank you." My voice is soft.

"No. Thank you Mia for having the courage to stay and to love me despite everything!"

"I really do love you Andrew. I have never met someone so good and so deserving of love."

We stay locked in our comfortable embrace. Lighting the little lantern, I enjoy the wonderful twilight picnic. He closes up the cabin tightly before we began our moonlit stroll through the woods back to the car. I feel so safe and happy holding his hand. We reach the airport by midnight and board the plane for the ride home.

His eyes dance as he holds me and my pulse races every time he leans down to kiss me. Requesting a blanket from the stewardess, he picks up the armrests and allows me to cuddle into his side as he wraps the blanket around me. He whispers into my ear. "Since you still have your own personal Stonehenge, try to rest on the way home."

He's right, we really are heading home. Snuggling into his chest, he nuzzles my ear as his fingertips glide up and down my arm. The veil is before me, the butterflies in my stomach must have hidden the pull. I am at the end of the aisle and my father is placing my hand upon his. As my eyes rise to meet his, I smile, but Andrew's face is stoic and he leans toward me whispering so low, no one else can hear. "We are not supposed to be happy about this arrangement. Turn to my father and nod stoically so he thinks you just did it to appease the onlookers." I do as he instructs and his father seems pleased. We turn and face the bishop both of us now stone faced.

I can feel the forced merriment at the wedding feast as the fine tuning of so many deals and treaties are negotiated and signed.

As Andrew signs the last document to ensure our country is to be protected and occupied by his men, a woman approaches me. "Our country is now safe from the more deadly barbarians and you must fulfill your duties to him. Hopefully you will deliver him an heir immediately and he will be done with you that way. I am sorry we pledged you to this barbarian to save our people, hopefully he is not as bad as his father or brother." Her tone is bitter. She hugs me and then pushes me toward someone. "I'm sorry." My father takes her away. I can hear his harsh words. "Stop, you know why the deal was made. Don't allow anyone to hear you or make her nervous, if he is displeased with her, the king could send fewer men and you know what our being overrun by the others will mean, all our women and land will be devastated."

I want to say something to her, but a man grabs me. "His highness is ready for you." He drags me to a door, opens it and pushes me in. The ladies in waiting quickly change me.

Another door opens and Andrew is standing there. A welcoming smile accompanies his mischievous eyes. He strolls across the cavernous room, his intention clear. As I bite my lip, he is upon me, sweeping me up in his arms; he kisses me and tosses me onto the bed. I yelp and hear a bang against the door. I forgot about the contingent listening.

He hears them too. He moves toward the bed, removing his clothes. "Don't worry about them. I have a plan and you will be safe. I love you. I wanted you ever since my army passed through your ravaged city and I saw you caring for your wounded soldiers. I can understand how my father fell for your mother..." He sees my alarm. "I said I can see how my father fell for your mother. I don't agree with what he did to her or how he punished her for marrying your father by leaving your country to be ravaged as revenge." I relax.

"I love you too, sire." I tease and he fights to stifle his laugh. As I sit up, he cups my face, his lips crush mine. The electricity and heat energize the room. I am overheating.

He is once again at my ear. "Hit me."

I gasp. "I can't, why would I?"

"The rumors of my father and brother are real. I need to protect you. I'm sure you know how my father believes women should be treated." His face contorts. "Hit me or he'll come in to show me the way you should be treated. You don't want him being your first experience. Please" He grabs my hand and lifts it into the air, opening my palm. "Now."

I hesitate. He grabs my hand and does it. It sounds muffled. I feel sick. I love him; I don't want to hurt him. We hear the door jiggle. "You have to do it now, hard, please." He pleads and I close my eyes and hit him. "Again and this time cry out." We do this again and again. I sob. "That's good. You are not hurting me. I promise." He says, but how can I believe him. We hear someone slap the door, muffled disgruntled sounds and retreating footsteps.

Finally, he pushes me back into the bed. "We're safe now." In these three words, I hear his relief and disgust over his father beliefs in his tone. "By next week, we'll be far away from him ruling one of his lesser lands. I love you." He deftly removes my clothes, wipes my tears and kisses me passionately while caressing me gently, possessing me, coddling me, loving me.

I love him so, my tears start again. He wipes them. His face looks horrified. "I'm sorry. I tried very hard not to hurt you. I don't want to be my father. I love you." His voice is full of concern.

I run gentle kisses up his neck, stopping at his ear. "You are gentle, you didn't hurt me. I just love you so much." I bite his ear softly. "Can we do it again?" He smiles and we make love again.

The captain's voice announcing our arrival in ten minutes pulls me back to the plane.

Andrew is staring at me, his eyes soft and beautiful. I'm glad to see the vision, despite the mystery surrounding how we share them and what they mean, has not upset him.

"What are you thinking?"

"I like the wedding I saw, especially certain parts of the honeymoon." He teases. "It started me thinking and I'm wondering if you would like a beautiful winter wedding, maybe a small ceremony on Christmas Eve." His voice is soft tickling my ear as he leans in to kiss my cheek.

I kiss the palm of his hand. "I think that it is a wonderful idea."

When we arrive back at Sanctuary, a beautiful breaking dawn colors the sky. I pass Gabriel in the hall. His face is absolutely beaming. He embraces me. "I see that I'm not the only one officially welcoming a new member of the family."

"I'm so happy for you Gabriel. Do you need us to do anything for you before the ceremony?"

"Mia you have already done everything, you gave me my Martina, everything else is covered. I will see you later."

We proceed to my room. Eva and Jackson are just retreating from the twins' room. Jackson winks as Eva hugs me. "Congratulations, I'm so happy for you both." Andrew wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck softly making my pulse quicken. Jackson mock punches him in the shoulder. "Come on now, none of that until the old married couple leaves."

As they retreat, Andrew is already on the sofa holding his arms out for me. I crawl into his lap and he embraces me kissing me tenderly at first but then his embrace and lips explode with all of the passion and love which he had been holding back. I hope that my passionate response reveals that I could stay in his arms forever.

# A Note To The Reader

We hope that you enjoyed this story. We are posting it free to share with readers in hopes that if you find it entertaining, you will consider donating the money you would have paid for a paperback book ($2.99 - $4.99) to a hospital that assists children suffering from cancer.

We live in Massachusetts and would love for you to contribute it to a local hospital in Boston, but any such hospital will be greatly appreciated. We wrote this during a time when our family felt the strain of caring for two individuals with cancer. Although they were older, it changed our lives profoundly and made us realize how much families who have children that are afflicted with this terrible disease suffer.

We are hoping to raise at least $15,000.00 in contributions ($1,000.00 per decade for the ones we loved) to help hospitals who provide care to children and their families in a time when cutbacks in funding may be impairing the hospitals' efforts to bring forth full care for those in need. If you cannot contribute, please consider passing the information about this book along to someone who can. If you do contribute, please do so in the name of the book and email us a quick note at SanctuaryBook@outlook.com to let us know if you enjoyed the story and contributed.

Thank you for your reading this and we hope that your family is healthy and well.

# Synopsis For Secrets Of Sanctuary Hospital A Journey Through Hell

After traveling a long, sorrowful and difficult path, Mia and Andrew finally forged a bridge across the chasm and are planning a quiet Christmas Eve wedding where they can begin their happily ever after.

The love and personal growth which spawned Mia through her most difficult journey gives her confidence to handle the newest puzzling patient to enter Sanctuary Hospital. Little does she know however that getting involved with this patient will nearly end her existence.

Waking up after being thrown down a gorge by a vindictive demon shrouded in the embodiment of this tormented young girl leaves Mia, isolated, alone and facing a world without Andrew, without the twins and without the assistance of most of her new found family, which have been ripped away while she was fighting her way back from an unconscious abyss.

As she struggles to find the strength to forge ahead and pick up the remnants of her shattered life, in hopes of salvaging her eternity and reuniting with the soul of her lost love in the afterlife, demonic forces seek to force her further into a desolate existence of despair in hopes of clouding her vision and giving the dark abyss the soul it has been craving.

