 
The Yahweh Confidence Scheme

(See how billions have been duped.)

Published by Jim Richards at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Jim Richards

To S.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever including Internet usage, without written permission of the author.

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**TABLE OF CONTENTS**

Genesis

Exodus

Leviticus

Numbers

Deuteronomy

Foreward:

What follows is the bulk of the first five books of the Old Testament (the Jewish "Torah"), along with commentary. Reading this will make you more of an expert on the Torah (and the Old Testament) than most Americans.

The Torah is full of lies, nonsense and immorality. The Torah itself makes it clear that Yahweh, the god of the Israelites (who ultimately became the "God" of the Jews and Christians) is nothing but a concoction, and the religion that grew up around Yahweh was nothing but a confidence scheme which was designed to keep the Israelites in order and extort "sacrifices" from them. The Torah makes clear that these sacrifices (which consisted of meat, grain, wine and other things of value) were not primarily burned; instead, they went into the bellies, or the coffers, of the Israelite high priests.

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GENESIS

**[GENESIS 1-2]**

_Torah_ _:_ In the beginning, God created everything in six days.

_My note:_ In the Bible, there were many gods. Among them were the gods Molech, Dagon, Rephan, Chemosh, Baal of Peor, Baal-Berith, the gods of Egypt, the gods of Aram, the gods of Sidon, the gods of Moab, the gods of the Ammonites, the gods of the Philistines, and the goddesses Asherah and Ashtoreth.

The Bible, in numerous passages, doesn't say that these other gods don't exist. On the contrary, the Bible clearly indicates that these other gods DO exist. (See Exodus 12:12; 18:11; 20:1-3; 22:20; 23:13; 23:23-24; 23:32-33; 34:11-16; Leviticus 18:21; 19:3-4; 20:2; 26:1; Numbers 25:1-3; Deuteronomy 4:7; 4:33-34; 6:1-14; 7:1-4; 7:16; 7:24-25; 8:19; 11:16-17; 11:26-28; 12:2-3; 12:29-31; 13:1-5; 13:6-11; 13:12-15; 17:2-5; 18:17-20; 20:16-18; 28:14; 28:64; 29:18; 30:17-18; 31:16-18; 31:20; 32:12-16; 32:37-38; Joshua 23:7; 23:16; 24:2-15; 24:20-23; Judges 2:3; 2:10-17; 2:19; 3:6-7; 3:7-10; 8:33; 9:13; 9:26-27; 10:6; 10:11-16; 11:24; 16:23-24; 1 Samuel 17:43, etc.)

If the Bible doesn't deny the existence of these other gods, what does it say about them?

It says, in essence, "Don't worship these other gods, worship the god of the Israelites!"

For example, the first commandment says: "I am the Lord your God. I brought you out of Egypt where you were slaves. Do not put any other gods in place of me."

The second commandment says: "Do not make statues of other gods. Do not bow down to other gods, or worship them...."

So we see that even in the ten commandments, the god of the Israelites acknowledges that there are many other gods. He just doesn't want the Israelites to worship them—or perhaps more importantly, he doesn't want the Israelites to give sacrifices to these other gods, since the high priests of Yahweh want these sacrifices for themselves.

_Torah:_ On the sixth day, God said, "Let us make man in our own likeness."

_My note:_ "Let us... in our own likeness"?

Who was Yahweh talking to? Other gods? Goddesses?

Whoever he was talking to, they apparently all looked like each other, and they all looked like men (and women?).

But if they all look like men (and women), how can they be everywhere in the universe at the same time (which is what many people believe about Yahweh)? And who recorded these remarks from Yahweh? Where did all these other gods go? Are they still around?

_Torah:_ Then God took some soil from the ground and formed a man out of it. He breathed life-giving breath into the man's nostrils and the man began to live.

_My note:_ So according to the Bible, man is made from dirt.

_Torah:_ By the seventh day, God had finished his work, so on that day he rested. He blessed the seventh day and made it holy.

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-powerful, why would he need to rest? He wouldn't—so either this passage is a lie, or Yahweh isn't all-powerful.

_Torah:_ Then God planted a garden in Eden, in the east. He put the man there. In the middle of the garden stood the tree that gives knowledge of what is good and evil.

_My note:_ What kind of tree was it? Did it have offspring? If so, where are those trees now?

Another thing. If Adam and Eve didn't know the difference between good and evil before they ate from the tree, wouldn't that mean they could do anything they wanted, because they wouldn't know it was evil? One of them could even kill the other one, and the killer could claim he/she didn't know it was evil, because they hadn't eaten from the tree that gives knowledge of good and evil.

This could create major problems in American courts if it was allowed as a defense. For example, a defendant could say, "Your honor, I didn't know it was evil, because I never ate from the tree that gives knowledge of good and evil, and it was God's fault that I didn't eat from the tree, because he kicked mankind out of the garden of Eden, where the tree was located—so you should be putting God on trial, not me."

_Torah:_ A stream flowed in Eden and watered the garden. Outside Eden, the stream divided into four rivers: the Pishon, Gidon, Tigris and the Euphrates.

_My note:_ Notice that nothing is said about other rivers, such as the Amazon, the Danube, the Yangtze or the Mississippi. And why not?

Because the author of this part of the Bible didn't even know those other rivers existed, apparently. He didn't even know that the Western Hemisphere existed, or the North and South Poles.

_Torah:_ Then God told the man, "You may eat from any tree in the garden, except from the tree that gives knowledge of good and evil. If you eat from that tree, you will die the same day."

_My note:_ But Adam and Eve didn't die after they ate from the tree, so now we're supposed to conclude that "die" doesn't mean "die"? And throughout the Bible, when things don't make sense, people who believe that the Bible is the word of the world's one and only God will say that things don't mean what the Bible clearly says, they actually mean something different. And miraculously, these people can tell you what the Bible really means!

Imagine if YOU could do that? You get stopped for speeding by a police officer, and you say, "Stick your gun up your nose."

"What did you say to me?!" growls the officer.

"By 'stick your gun' I mean 'have', and by 'up your nose' I mean 'a nice day'. I'm just saying 'have a nice day'."

"Oh. Well, that's okay, then."

Another thing. Why wouldn't Yahweh want people to have knowledge of good and evil? In fact, much of the Torah consists of passages that teach people precisely that: they teach people the difference between good and evil (although often, the Torah calls evil things good, and good things evil, so it's all messed up).

If reading the Torah is the equivalent of eating from the tree that gives knowledge of good and evil, couldn't that get us into trouble?

Then again, maybe much of the Torah, and the rest of the Bible, is a trick by the "devil" to get us to do evil. If so, it would be a pretty neat trick, the devil sneaking his own passages into a Bible which everyone thinks is the word of a single god, when actually it's a mix, and part of it is the word of a god, and part of it is the word of the devil. That would give the devil one of the biggest laughs in all history, to see how thoroughly confused he was able to make people.

_Torah:_ Then God brought all the birds and animals to the man for the man to name them. The man named them all, but not one was a suitable companion to help the man, so God put the man into a deep sleep, took out one of the man's ribs, and from the rib made a woman. The man and the woman were both naked, but they were not embarrassed.

_My note:_ People are still naming newly discovered birds and animals, so the suggestion that the naming was finished thousands of years ago is silly. In fact, back when the Torah was written, no one in the Middle East even knew about the existence of many of the birds and animals on other parts of the planet, so how could Adam name them?

As for the woman being made out of one of Adam's ribs, that's ridiculous, too, although believers will say it isn't ridiculous at all, and then they proceed to give you an explanation which is ridiculous. This works best on children who can't escape, and who have to listen to this nonsense under threats and duress, which is how many children learn the Bible.

As for the man and woman not being embarrassed about being naked, there have been people all over the world, for hundreds of thousands of years, who weren't embarrassed to be seen naked, or see others naked. It is only after children are trained to be embarrassed that they start to become embarrassed.

You'll notice that dogs aren't embarrassed to be seen naked by other dogs.

[GENESIS 3]

_Torah:_ One day, a serpent told Eve, "If you eat fruit from the tree of knowledge, you will know the difference between good and evil. You will be like God."

_My note:_ Sure, a talking snake. And there was also a talking giraffe, and a talking elephant, and a talking hippo. And Humpty Dumpty was there, and Miss Piggy, and Linus with his blanket, and Little Red Riding Hood, and a talking wolf, and the three little pigs. And Charlie Brown was there, too!

_Torah:_ So Eve ate some of the fruit, and so did Adam. They both began to know things they had never known before.

_My note:_ It sounds like maybe the "tree" was a marijuana bush or something, since "They both began to know things they had never known before".

This reminds me of the Straw Man in _The Wizard of Oz_ , where he sings:

" _Oh, I could tell you why  
"The ocean's near the shore  
"I could think of things I never thunk before  
"And then I'd sit—and think some more...."_

_Torah:_ Then they realized they were naked, so they made themselves clothes.

_My note:_ And when they realized it would be a lot easier to get around if they had an all-terrain vehicle, why didn't they make one of those? Yahweh could tell them how, couldn't he, since he was all-knowing?

_Torah:_ Later, Adam and Eve heard God walking in the garden. God called out, "Where are you?"

"Here I am," said Adam. "I heard you in the garden. I was naked, so I hid."

"How did you know you were naked?" asked God. "Did you eat from the tree of knowledge?"

"It was the woman," said Adam. "She gave me some of the fruit, and I ate it."

_My note:_ If Yahweh was fair, he would have said, "Well, you didn't have to eat it, did you? So you're just as guilty as she is."

_Torah:_ "What have you done?" God said to the woman.

"The serpent tricked me," said the woman. "That's why I ate the fruit."

God put a curse on the serpent. Then he put a curse on the woman, saying he would greatly increase her pain during childbirth. Plus, he said her husband would rule over her.

_My note:_ Sure, a man must rule over his wife because more than 3000 years ago, one of the hundreds of gods in the Middle East said so. How can a woman argue with that?

But what if the man is a jerk? Does Yahweh want a man to rule over a woman if the man is a jerk? If so, perhaps people should worship one of the other gods in the Bible, instead of one who says women should be subservient to jerks.

The statement in the Bible that a husband should rule over his wife has been used by bad men throughout history to subjugate women.

Then again, there are plenty of bad women, too, so what should the rule be?

It also says that Yahweh increased the pain of all women during childbirth, which wasn't fair, since only one woman allegedly disobeyed Yahweh, so why punish all women until the end of time because of the wrongdoing of a single woman? That's not fair. So this passage is either untrue, or if it is true, it means that Yahweh isn't fair, and if he's not fair, why should people worship him? Wouldn't it be better to worship a god who's fair?

_Torah:_ Then God put a curse on Adam, saying Adam would have to work hard the rest of his life, and that he would return to dust when he died.

_My note:_ Yahweh is one cruel entity. Adam eats some fruit from a tree, and his punishment is a life sentence at hard labor?

Americans think that Islam is extreme, but Yahweh is even worse than what he does here. For example, in one instance, a man is gathering wood on the Sabbath, so Yahweh orders that the man be stoned to death. In another instance, Yahweh says that anyone who curses his mother or father should be put to death. Yet there are many mothers and fathers who deserve to be cursed, because they are viciously cruel and abusive.

_Torah:_ Then God said, "The man has become like one of us. He can't be allowed to eat any more fruit." With that, he expelled Adam and Eve from the garden.

_My note:_ Once again, who is Yahweh talking to? Who does he mean when he says, "like one of us"?

It clearly sounds like there are other gods and goddesses hanging around, listening to what Yahweh is saying.

And how does the author of this passage know what Yahweh said? Was he there in Yahweh's presence? If he was, he wasn't human, because only Adam and Eve were alive at this point.

Hey, maybe it was the snake, taking dictation. Or maybe it was one of the other animals taking dictation.

Which animal do you think can take dictation: (a) snake; (b) hippo; (c) giraffe; (d) elephant?

[GENESIS 4]

_Torah:_ Then Adam made love to Eve. Eve got pregnant and gave birth to a son, Cain. Later, she gave birth to another son, Abel.

_My note:_ The Catholics I know don't read much of the Old Testament, but the Jews do, and some Protestant groups.

Do you think it's okay to teach children about Adam making love to Eve?

"Mommy, what's 'making love'?"

One reason Americans have such a hang-up about sex is that they don't live on farms. If they lived on farms, they would see all the pigs, horses, dogs, cats, bulls, cows and chickens having sex all over the place.

And why is it that pigs, horses, dogs, cats, bulls, cows and chickens don't go into a dark room to have sex? Why do they do it out in the open, for all the other animals to see?

Is that the way people should do it? Should people do it out in the open at baseball games, if the game gets boring?

_Torah:_ Abel was a shepherd. Cain was a farmer. One day, Cain brought some of the things he had grown as an offering to God. Abel also brought an offering to God. He brought meat from some lambs.

God liked the meat from Abel better than he liked the things grown by Cain, so Cain got angry. He lured Abel to a field, where he killed Abel.

_My note:_ Since when does Yahweh need food? If he's everywhere in the universe, there's no way he can need food, because if he needs food, he'll need so much food he'll eat up the entire universe. Plus, if he eats food, he'll have to go to the bathroom somewhere, so where does he go?

Another thing. Why does Yahweh like meat better than the things Cain grew in the fields? Why isn't Yahweh a vegetarian? Doesn't he understand the dangers of eating too much meat?

Don't get me wrong. I like meat okay myself, but a god is supposed to be smarter than me, so he should be mostly a vegetarian, right?

And there's something else. Why did Cain kill Abel? Has he no sense of self-control? He sounds like a big baby to me.

_Torah:_ Later, God said to Cain, "Where is your brother?"

Cain replied, "I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper?"

God put a curse on Cain, and a mark on him, so that anyone who found him wouldn't kill him.

_My note:_ Who is "anyone"? All of a sudden, there's a bunch of people around who might kill Cain? But all the Bible mentions is Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel, and Abel is dead.

Whoever edited the Torah more than 3000 years ago wasn't a very good editor. They were probably too busy getting stoned eating from the tree of knowledge to worry about all the inconsistencies that keep popping up.

_Torah:_ Eve then had two more children, Seth and Enoch. Adam was 130 years old when Seth was born. He also had other sons and daughters. Adam lived 930 years.

_My note:_ Adam was 130 years old when Seth was born? Sure he was. If you believe that, you've lost your mind, and the people who now control your mind can get you to believe all kinds of nonsense.

And Adam lived 930 years?

Right. And there are actually rabbis, ministers, priests and other assorted clergy who will tell you that this is true, that Adam lived 930 years. And you can't argue with them, because they actually believe this stuff. And they also believe that it's possible that Santa Claus and his flying reindeer can deliver toys to every home in the world in one night, because with God, all things are possible.

You understand? You're dealing with lunatics. They try to make you into a lunatic, too, so you'll give them money, even though many of them have far more money than you have.

If people believe there is a single god, and that the Jewish and Christian clergy get their authority from this god, that makes the clergy agents or vicars of a god—which is a powerful position to be in. And since the god in question is nowhere to be found, these clergy can tell you what this god wants—and how you can get the things you want (which often means doing something that benefits the clergy).

In essence, these clergy take the place of god, becoming mini-gods—and some people like being perceived as having that kind of authority. In fact, some people will kill to get, and keep, that kind of authority, as Popes and the Catholic clergy did for centuries.

[GENESIS 5]

_Torah:_ [Below is the line of descent from Adam's son, Seth, to Noah, then to Abram, who was later renamed Abraham.]

At age 105, Seth had a son, Enosh. Seth lived 912 years.  
At age 90, Enosh had a son, Kenan. Enosh lived 905 years.  
At age 70, Kenan had a son, Mahalalel. Kenan lived 910 years.  
At age 65, Mahalalel had a son, Jared. Mahalalel lived 895 years.  
At age 162, Jared had a son, Enoch. Jared lived 962 years.  
At age 65, Enoch had a son, Methuselah. Enoch lived 365 years.  
At age 187, Methuselah had a son, Lamech. Methuselah lived 969 years.  
At age 182, Lamech had a son, NOAH. Lamech lived 777 years.  
After age 500, Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth. Noah lived to 950 years.  
At age 100, Shem had a son, Arphaxad. Shem lived 600 years.  
At age 35, Arphaxad had a son, Shelah. Arphaxad lived 438 years.  
At age 30, Shelah had a son, Eber. Shelah lived 433 years.  
At age 34, Eber had a son, Peleg. Eber lived 464 years.  
At age 30, Peleg had a son, Reu. Peleg lived 239 years.  
At age 32, Reu had a son, Serug. Reu lived 239 years.  
At age 30, Serug had a son, Nahor. Serug lived 230 years.  
At age 29, Nahor had a son, Terah. Nahor lived 148 years.  
At age 70, Terah had a son, ABRAM. Terah lived 205 years.

Terah also had two other sons, Nahor and Haran.

Thus, Abram, Nahor and Haran were brothers.

_My note:_ Lived 912 years? 962 years? 969 years? The only things that live that long are trees. Therefore, all these Biblical characters must be... TREES!

Hey, maybe they're related to the talking apple trees in _The Wizard of Oz_!

And notice that Noah was 500 years old when he started having kids.

It's worth remembering that the person who wrote all the above nonsense was an ancestor of Bernie Madoff.

_Torah:_ Terah son's Abram was later renamed Abraham. Terah also had a daughter, Sarai, who was later renamed Sarah. Abram and Sarai had the same father, but different mothers. That means Sarai wasn't Abram's full sister, she was only his half-sister.

Later, Abram married Sarai.

_My note:_ Don't try to remember all the following unless you think you'll be tested on it.

_Torah:_ Abram's brother, Haran, had a son named Lot, and a daughter, Milcah.

Abram's brother, Nahor, married Milcah (who was Nahor's niece).

Nahor and Milcah had a son, Bethuel. Bethuel had a daughter, Rebecca.

Rebecca later married Abram's son, Isaac.

_My note:_ Did you get all that?

What's important is that Abram (later renamed Abraham) married his half-sister Sarai (later renamed Sarah), and they had a son, Isaac.

Isaac married Rebecca, who was Isaac's second cousin.

Later, Isaac and Rebecca had a couple of boys, Esau and Jacob. Jacob was later renamed Israel.

Jacob (aka Israel) had four wives and twelve sons. The sons became the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel.

So, that's Abraham and Sarah; Isaac and Rebecca; Jacob (aka Israel) and (4 wives); and Jacob (aka Israel) and his four wives had twelve sons, who were the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel.

They all lived 800 years or more, and they never had to go to the bathroom.

[GENESIS 6-7]

_Torah:_ According to Genesis 6:4, "The Nephilim [a race of giants] were on the earth in those days. That was when the sons of God went to the daughters of men and had children by them...."

_My note:_ What's this? The sons of God!?

Christians think that Jesus was the only son of God, but obviously that's not the case, according to the Bible itself.

Plus, if God had other sons, weren't those other sons also gods, just as the Christians consider Jesus to be a god, because they say he was the son of a god?

Now, if God's sons (who presumably were gods) had children, those children must have been gods, because their fathers were gods.

That would mean that their children, in turn, would be gods (and goddesses), all the way down to the present day.

Are you descended from one of those gods or goddesses? Because if you are, that would make you a god (or a goddess)!

The only way to tell if you're a god (or a goddess) is if you can bite both your thumbs at the same time. If you can do that, you're a god (or a goddess). But you have to do it in a church or temple during services, and right afterward, you have to say "Moooooo" like a cow so loud that everyone in the church or temple can hear it.

If you can do that, you're a god (or a goddess).

_Torah:_ By the time of Noah, God saw that mankind was full of sin, so he decided to send a flood to destroy mankind. But God was pleased with Noah, so he decided to save him.

_My note:_ All mankind full of sin? Even children? That's nonsense. It's ridiculous to think that everyone on the earth was full of sin.

Of course, if the above passage from the Bible is true, it would make Yahweh the biggest mass murderer in history. Not even Adolph Hitler or Genghis Khan came close to killing almost everyone on the planet.

If you believe that everything in the Bible is true, then you believe that Yahweh is the biggest mass murderer in history. So why would you worship such a god?

_Torah:_ God told Noah to build an ark, and put on it two of every kind of animal, one male and one female (although later, God said, "take seven of every clean animal, and seven of every kind of bird, and two of every animal that is not clean.")

_My note:_ Not even the Titanic could have held all the animals which Noah allegedly took, and all the food and water to feed them (for 190 days), so this is just another big Biblical lie told to superstitious people more than 3000 years ago. These lies would never work today unless children are taught this nonsense at a very early age, before they have the critical thinking skills to understand that the story is nonsense.

So why do parents teach children such lies?

Because the parents themselves never grew up. They still believe this nonsense, like trusting children. Plus, they've been taught to be terrified to do anything that might get "God" angry.

The Jewish and Christian clergy want children to learn all this nonsense because then the children will become indoctrinated to pay money into the temples and churches when they get older. One aspect of this indoctrination is to fill children with "the fear of God", which they hope will stay with the children for life, because as long as people have such fears, it greatly increases the chances they will continue to be paying customers of the temples and churches.

People need to know the truth, and the truth is, it's not Yahweh who will get you, it's Cookie Monster! He'll grab you and turn you into a cookie, then eat you!

I'm not kidding.

_Torah:_ Noah was 600 years old when the rain began. [ _My note:_ Sure he was.]

_Torah:_ It rained for 40 days and 40 nights. On the ark were Noah's wife, Noah's three sons and their wives, plus every kind of animal and bird. ["Cockadoodle-doo!" "Shut up, you stupid bird." "Cockadoodle-doo!" "I said SHUT UP!" And then Noah's wife threw her wooden shoe at the bird, killing it, thereby ending that species of bird.]

The waters rose until all the mountains were covered by more than 20 feet of water. Every animal on earth which was not in the ark died. The waters flooded the earth for 150 days. Then the water went down.

_My note:_ It's amazing that people believe all this nonsense, but they do. And should we believe that even Mount Everest, which is more than five miles high, was covered with water? If so, how can the water go down? The only way to get rid of the water is if it goes up, through evaporation, since there's no "down" for the water to go to—and if it went up through evaporation, wouldn't it come down again, and we'd have another huge flood?

Of course, the people who believe this nonsense about the flood will say the earth itself absorbed the water, and they can also explain how Noah could build a wooden boat that could hold two of all the animals on the earth, and how he had little rooms for each pair of the estimated 6,000,000-plus species of insect—and they can also explain how Noah and his family could feed 12,000,000-plus insects every day, even though there's only 86,400 seconds in a day, which would mean they would have to feed about 139 insects every second.

"Come here, little insect. Come on, now, stand still. Open your mouth. Open your mouth. I said OPEN YOUR MOUTH, YOU STUPID %$#&* INSECT. I haven't got all day to play games with you!"

I'm surrounded by lunatics who believe all this nonsense about Noah and the flood: priests, ministers, rabbis, bishops, cardinals, even the Pope.

Look at these people. Do they look insane? Of course not. That's because you've been trained to believe that these people are sane, that this is what sane people look like. And people used to think that child rapists all looked like Aqualung, "sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent... snots are running down his nose, greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes", when in fact, many child rapists look quite respectable, and many people who will trick you into believing complete nonsense also look quite respectable.

But they're asking you to believe complete nonsense, and you believe it, but what they didn't tell you is that they are teaching you all this nonsense because they want something from you: they want your money, and your allegiance. Both give them power. And billions of people give them money, and their allegiance. And they also didn't tell you that if you look at these religious people closely enough, and long enough, your stare starts to burn into them, and they catch on fire, and then you'll have to throw water on them, and then they cry out, "I'm melting! Melting! Oh—what a world—what a world!"

And then they melt away completely, just like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Go ahead and try it.

[GENESIS 8]

_Torah:_ The ark came to rest on the mountains of Ararat.

_My note:_ And it's still there today! You can actually go visit it. I can sell you tickets! You can actually meet with one of Noah's sons, who is 3500 years old.

_Torah:_ Noah sent out a dove, but the dove found no place to land, so it returned.

Seven days later, Noah sent out the dove again. It returned with an olive branch.

The water kept receding. Finally, the water had receded enough that all the animals could leave the ark, which they did. God promised that he would never destroy all living things again.

_My note:_ Gee, God, thanks. You're a sport.

[GENESIS 9-10]

_Torah:_ Later, God said, "You must not eat meat that still has blood in it." He also said, "Anyone who murders man will be killed by man."

God made a covenant with Noah, his children, the birds, the livestock, and all of the wild animals.

A rainbow would be the sign of the covenant.

_My note:_ How do you make a covenant with a duck?

Here, ducky, ducky. Come here, ducky, ducky.

Stop running away, you stupid duck! I want to make a covenant with you!

So you can see that the duck is smarter than humans, because he's not gonna make a covenant where he has to go to church or temple once a week, and pay any of his hard-earned money to some mentally disturbed clergyperson who doesn't know good from evil and can't tell which parts of the Bible are nonsense and which have some useful wisdom. Instead, the duck is going to start shouting at these people, and do you know what he's going to shout?

"Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack!" Because all these people are quacks.

_Torah:_ One day, Noah drank some wine and got drunk. His son Ham saw him naked. Ham told his two brothers, who put a piece of clothing over Noah. Noah was angry with Ham because he had seen Noah naked. He put a curse on Ham's son, Canaan.

_My note:_ If Noah was angry with Ham, why didn't he put a curse on Ham instead of on Ham's son, Canaan? That's not fair.

So we can see that Noah, like Yahweh, wasn't fair.

Also, if Ham saw Noah naked, and told his two brothers, and his brothers put a piece of clothing over Noah, that means the brothers also saw Noah naked. So why didn't Noah get angry at them?

And what kind of passage is this to put in the Bible? Is this the sacred, exalted word of our Heavenly Father?

Noah got drunk. He took his clothes off, or maybe he had them off when he started drinking. His son Ham saw him, so he tried to help him. Noah got angry at his son for trying to help him.

What kind of lesson does this passage try to teach us? Doesn't it seem that the people who wrote the Bible would write down anything if they thought it would get some attention?

Then again, maybe the devil slipped this passage into the Bible, so he could later laugh at all the people who took this to be the inspired word of God.

_Torah:_ [Here, the Bible lists some of the descendants of Noah's sons. Noah's son Ham had four sons: Cush, Egypt, Put and Canaan. Cush was the father of Nimrod. Nimrod became a great hunter. Even today, if someone is a great hunter, people say, "He is a great hunter, like Nimrod."]

[GENESIS 11]

_Torah:_ After a while, there were more and more people on earth. The whole world had only one language. All people spoke it. The people on earth started building a city which had a tall tower.

God came down to see the city. He said, "They are one people. They all speak the same language. That is why they can do this. Now they'll be able to do whatever they plan. Come. Let us go down and mix up their language. Then they won't understand each other."

_My note:_ Isn't mixing up people's language like moving Helen Keller's furniture? It's not very nice, right? So maybe Yahweh himself should eat from the tree that gives knowledge of what is good and evil.

And once again, who is this "us" that Yahweh is referring to?

It seems there's definitely some other characters in the background; there are either other gods and goddesses; or maybe there's angels, plus maybe trolls, gnomes, elves and leprechauns. They all live "up there", which could mean up in the heavens, but it could also mean the North Pole, except that in today's world, the North Pole is melting, and beneath it is only water, so Yahweh and his friends will need to move somewhere else, or it could be curtains, like when Toto pulled back the curtain on _The Wizard of Oz_.

Did you know that in Old English, one word for "God" was "Os"? It's true.

Does this suggest that the movie, _The Wizard of Oz,_ was a spoof of the clever person(s) who is behind the creation of Yahweh?

_Torah:_ So God scattered the people over the whole earth. And the people stopped building the city, which was called Babel.

_My note:_ Not only did God mix up their language, but he scattered them over the whole earth? Nice guy.

It's interesting, though, that if we assume we are all descended from one tribe of people—as some scientists believe—how come we can't trace back all our languages to one common language? That suggests that Yahweh, and the other gods who were with him, did a pretty good job of mixing up the language, if that's what happened. But that's almost certainly not what happened, so here again, the Bible is almost certainly telling us another tall tale.

People will actually spend huge amounts of time arguing about this stuff, even as people in other parts of the world are dying from starvation, or from easily-treatable diseases.

You see how the devil works? He gets all these idiots to spend all their time arguing about irrelevancies, even as people die who could easily be saved.

The devil is a crafty fellow, isn't he? And he's probably laughing even more the more these people talk, and the people don't even know that what they're doing is evil, because they are so convinced that everything they do is good—and they get their children to do the same things, which means their lives consist mainly of blah, blah, blah, useless talk about useless subjects, while people die needlessly and the devil adds to his collection.

Then again, maybe the devil is a woman. Or maybe there's a whole collection of devils, men, women, and children, plus animals. Or maybe the spirit of the devil goes around from person to person, so that one day you're a decent person, and the next day the devil takes over your body for the day and you do something evil and devilish!

Of course, maybe there's no devils at all.

Have you ever seen a picture of a real devil?

No. So why do you believe devils exist?

The Easter Bunny is real, though. I saw a picture of him.

_Torah:_ Several generations went by. Finally, Terah, Abram's father, was born. When Terah grew up, he had three sons: Abram, Nahor and Haran. He also had a daughter, Sarai.

When Abram grew up, he married his half-sister, Sarai. Sarai was unable to have children. God told Abram not to worry about it, that he would give Abram many descendants and make them into a great nation.

_My note:_ It's worth noting that without Yahweh, we wouldn't have Judaism and Christianity, whose members collectively make up almost one-third of the world's people (specifically, there are 2.2 billion Christians and 15 million Jews). So, no matter how you cut it, the Bible did have a huge influence over the development of world civilization.

But is that good? If one-third of the people in the world believed in communism, would that be good? If one-third believed they were God's chosen people, and they believed that the other two-thirds were subhuman heathens who should be enslaved or put to death, would that be good?

How about if one-third of the people in the world believed it was wrong to get a blood transfusion, even if without the blood transfusion, a sick person would die? Would that be good, just because one-third of the people in the world believed it?

At one time, most people believed that the sun went around the earth, rather than vice versa. Does that mean it was true, because most people believed it?

If believing in Judaism, or Christianity, ultimately means that billions of people will die a cataclysmic death, is that good? Or would it be better to start a new ideology that doesn't have a bunch of superstitions that could become self-fulfilling prophecies?

And how does one start a new ideology? Does one get together with people from all the existing religions, and try to agree on rules that everyone should follow so everyone in the house (planet earth) gets along with one another? Or should we wait for some old guy flying around in outer space to come along and resolve these issues? Because isn't that what a lot of people are waiting for? They're waiting for some old guy flying around in outer space to come along and resolve these issues?

Sure they are. They don't call him an old guy, but he sometimes appears in the Bible as a person, so basically, these people are waiting for a guy who is somewhere between four thousand and fifteen billion years old to come to earth and resolve these issues.

Do you know what an honest American psychiatrist would call that?

Delusional.

Do you know why psychiatrists don't call it delusional?

Because psychiatrists are afraid to take on confidence schemes which call themselves religions, even if those so-called religions teach people a whole host of delusions.

These fears by the psychiatrists are irrational fears, which means they are signs of mental illness. And if the psychiatrists have all these irrational fears, it means...?

It means the nuts are running the nuthouse!

It's worth remembering that Yahweh never showed up to save six million of his own "chosen people" from the Holocaust. Why not? Where was he? Was he afraid of Hitler?

[GENESIS 12]

_Torah:_ For a while Terah, his son Abram, Abram's wife Sarai, and Abram's nephew Lot were living in the city of Ur, in Babylonia. They left Ur and moved to a city called Haran....

Later, Abram, Sarai and Lot left Haran for Canaan. Then they traveled all the way to Egypt. Abram told Sarai to tell the Egyptians that she was Abram's sister, not his wife.

Sarai was very beautiful. She was taken to Pharaoh's palace to be Pharaoh's wife, but Pharaoh and everyone in his palace got sick, so Pharaoh sent Abram and Sarai away, with all of Abram's property.

_My note:_ Notice that Abram told Sarai to lie. Many Catholics are taught that you shouldn't lie, but Abram knows that sometimes it's okay to lie (for example, to save your life, or to save the life of another).

[GENESIS 13]

_Torah:_ By now, Abram was rich....

Abram and Lot both had large herds, so they decided to split up. Lot chose the Jordan River Valley, near the city of Sodom. Abram chose to live in Canaan.

God told Abram, "I'll give you all the land you can see, in all directions. I'll give it to you and your descendants, forever."

_My note:_ Since there were already people living in the land Yahweh describes, Yahweh is saying, in effect, that he's going to steal the land from those other people. That would make Yahweh a thief. So now Yahweh is a thief, in addition to being a mass murderer.

Also, as noted earlier, there were many other gods in the world at the time, just as there are today (for example, the Hindus have various gods, and other groups throughout the world have their own gods).

The problem is, if Yahweh gave the land around Canaan to the Israelites, the people living on that land could say, "Oh, no, our God gave us the land."

So we can see that claims from people that their god gave them the land around Canaan—or anywhere else—isn't a good way to figure out who owns the land, since one group of people can say, "Our god gave us the land", and another group can say, "No, no, no, our god gave us the land."

There's no way to figure out who owns the land on this basis, unless one of the gods actually shows up in person, and he is all-powerful, and he tells everyone to shut up, and he'll say what's what.

On the other hand, if we say that he who owns the land is the one who can take it from others, and hold it against all contenders, that means that people will have an incentive to steal each other's land, just as it's been throughout history. Under this rule, a lot of people will continue fighting for land, and a lot of people are going to die. This is especially true if climate change displaces hundreds of millions of people, as is expected, or if there's some huge natural disaster.

But there's a bigger problem.

In the United States—and many other countries—Yahweh is no longer the Supreme Lawgiver. In the U.S., the Supreme Lawgiver is the U.S. Congress, and to a lesser extent the U.S. Supreme Court and the President. These new Supreme Lawgivers routinely overturn any of Yahweh's laws they don't like (among other things, they overturned Yahweh's law that adulterers should be put to death; that anyone who has homosexual sex should be put to death; that a child who curses his/her parents should be put to death; that anyone who works on the Sabbath should be put to death; and they overturned Yahweh's decision that it was okay to own slaves).

In other words, Yahweh is now irrelevant as a lawgiver. He's no more than a distraction to keep people from seeing the new reality, which is that the new gods (the Supreme Lawgivers) are the Congress, the Supreme Court and the President. These lawmakers don't call themselves gods, but they have more power than Yahweh, since they can overturn any of Yahweh's laws whenever they want, so perhaps we should start calling them what they are: the new gods.

Praise be to you, O Congress!

See how sneaky these little devils can be, making themselves the new gods?

[GENESIS 14]

_Torah:_ Four kings went to war against five kings. The five kings included the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The four kings won the battle. The kings of Sodom and Gomorrah ran away from the battle.

The four kings who won the battle took everything that belonged to the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, including Lot and everything he owned. One man escaped. He reported everything to Abram.

Abram took 318 trained men and chased the enemy as far as the city of Dan. Abram rescued Lot and brought him back with everything Lot owned.

[GENESIS 15]

_Torah:_ Then Abram complained to God that he didn't have any children. God told him, "Look up at the sky. Count the stars, if you can. That's how many descendants you will have."

Abram also said, "God, how can I know I'll take this land as my own?"

God [or the authors of the Torah, pretending there is a god] said to Abram, "Your descendants will be strangers in a country they don't own [Egypt]. They will become slaves for 400 years. But I will punish the people who make them slaves. Afterwards, your descendants will leave that country with many valuable things. But you will die in peace."

God also said [allegedly], "I am giving this land to your descendants. It goes from the Nile River [in Egypt] to the Euphrates River [in modern Iraq]."

_My note:_ Who recorded this conversation between Abram and Yahweh? And why would Yahweh, if he was all-powerful, let the Israelites suffer in slavery for 400 years? He wouldn't. Not if he was all-powerful.

Isn't it more likely that this story was written after the Israelites left Egypt, rather than more than 400 years before they left Egypt?

Also, if Yahweh gave Abram (aka Abraham) and his descendants the land from the Nile River to the Euphrates, some modern-day Jews will argue that all the land in question belongs to them. That means part of Egypt, all of Lebanon, all of Palestine, all of Jordan, a large part of Syria, a part of Saudi Arabia, and half of Iraq.

By contrast, the Muslims (who also claim to be descended from Abraham) can also lay claim to that area on the same basis, so who's right? And the way it's been working is, "might makes right"—which means that the rightful owner of land in the Middle East is the one who can steal it from others, and hold it against all contenders.

Under that rule, it means it was okay for the Jews to use force to steal Palestine from the Palestinians, and if the Palestinians and their allies use force to steal it back, that's okay, too.

But is that the best way to resolve this issue?

Plus, there's no good evidence whatsoever that any god said anything about this land, but that doesn't stop people from claiming a god is involved.

If you say, "I killed my boyfriend because God told me to do it", you might be adjudged delusional or psychotic.

Does that mean everyone is delusional or psychotic who believes a god gave land to the Israelites?

Either that, or they've been duped.

On the other hand, maybe a god, some gods or some other supernatural forces, such as the spirits of our ancestors, did put everyone exactly where they are today—not only Jews and Christians, but Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, Shintoists, atheists, everyone! And if you scratch yourself, right now, maybe it's a god who's making you do it.

There's no way to prove it, one way or the other.

It's also possible that all humans are characters in a virtual reality game being played by a couple of extraterrestrial teenagers who are orbiting the earth unseen. You can't prove whether that's true, either. But maybe we'll find out at the Apocalypse, since the word "Apocalypse" comes from "apo=off" & "kalyptein=to cover". Thus, "apocalypse" means "to take off the cover", which is what I'm trying to do in this book: take off the cover of lies that people learn when they are children to uncover the truth. That's means I'm a lot like the dog "Toto," who uncovered the truth about _The Wizard of Oz_ by pulling back the curtain.

Is there any way to prove I'm not Toto? I mean, I could be Toto reincarnated, right?

Other people will say, "I'm Toto reincarnated!"

"Me! Me!"

So, how do we resolve this issue?

[GENESIS 16]

_Torah:_ Abram's wife Sarai had a female servant named Hagar. Sarai wanted children, but she couldn't have them, so Sarai told Abram to make love to Hagar. Abram did. Hagar got pregnant and had a son, Ishmael. At the time, Abram was 86 years old.

_My note:_ At first, Abram said to Sarai, "Who are you to give me orders?" But then he relented and said, "Okay."

After Abram made love to Hagar, he asked Sarai, "Is there anyone else you want me to make love to?"

Sarai said, "Put your slacks back on—and you, too, Hagar." And that's when Hagar got the idea to start her own company, Hagar Slacks, which is still in existence today.

Oh, and Abram was 86 years old when Ishmael was born?

Sure he was.

[GENESIS 17]

_Torah:_ When Abram was 99, God changed his name to Abraham. God promised to give Abraham all of Canaan, but God also said that every male of Abraham's house must be circumcised.

"That will be the sign of the covenant between you and me," said God. "Every male among you who is eight days old or older must be circumcised. That includes males you buy from a stranger. Your body will have the mark of the covenant on it."

_My note:_ Abraham actually replied, "You want me to do what? What the hell are you talking about? You want me to mutilate the penises of all the males in my house? What are you, some kind of wacko?"

Isn't it possible that "the devil" slipped this part about circumcision into the Bible?

That would be the devil for you. Always the practical joker.

It's worth noting that circumcision typically isn't medically necessary, and some studies show that circumcision can adversely affects a man's sex life as he ages.

Do you think the rabbis and doctors giving circumcisions to baby boys care more about the future sex lives of the baby boys they are circumcising, or do they care more about the easy money they can make from the circumcisions?

In addition, circumcision can sometimes give rise to dangerous complications. For example, recently (in 2012), a little Jewish-American baby boy died from a circumcision after the rabbi put his mouth on the boy's penis to suck out the blood after the foreskin had been removed. The child caught the herpes virus and died.

You see anything wrong with that picture?

If a non-Jew did the same thing to an eight-day-old child, he'd be arrested as a pervert.

There's another thing. If man was made in God's image, that means God wasn't circumcised, because children aren't born circumcised, so...?

Maybe the devil wants males to be circumcised, because then the males become less like God!

But mostly it's about money. Mutilating the penises of little boys is an easy moneymaker in the world today, and providing a religious reason for the mutilation helps to guarantee a source of income to the people who profit from the mutilations.

_Torah:_ Yahweh also changed Sarai's name to Sarah, and he promised to give Abraham a son by Sarah. "She will be the mother of nations," said Yahweh. "Kings of nations will come from her. You will call your son, Isaac."

That day, Abraham circumcised his son Ishmael, every male who was born in his house or whom he had bought with his money, and Abraham himself was circumcised. He was 99 years old. Ishmael was 13.

_My note:_ Notice how Yahweh didn't object to Abraham buying people, which means Yahweh—who is America's god—condones slavery.

There are many passages in the Bible where Yahweh clearly condones slavery. For example:

God told Moses.... "Suppose you buy a Hebrew slave. He must be your slave for 6 years.... Suppose his master gives the slave a wife, and the wife has the slave's children. Then only the man will be set free. The woman and her children will still belong to the master.... If a man sells his daughter as a slave...." [Exodus 21:2-7]

God told Moses, "Suppose a man beats his male or female slave to death. The man must be punished. But he will not be punished if the slave gets up in a day or two, because the slave is his property.... Suppose a man hits his male or female slave in the eye.... Suppose he knocks out the tooth of a slave...." [Exodus 21:20-26]

God told Moses.... "Suppose a bull wounds a male or female slave...." [Exodus 21:32]

God said, ".... If a man sleeps with a female who is a slave girl..." [Leviticus 19:20]

God said, ".... If a priest buys a slave, or if a slave is born in his home, then the slave may eat the priest's food." [Leviticus 22:11]

God told Moses to tell the Israelites, "Your male and female slaves must come from the nations which surround you; from them you may buy slaves." [Leviticus 25:44]

It's interesting that so many African-Americans became so brainwashed that they ended up worshiping a god who condoned the slavery of their ancestors.

Should anyone worship a god who condones slavery? And if Yahweh condones slavery, who is man to say slavery is wrong?

Then again, if it was the author(s) of this part of the Torah pretending there was a god named Yahweh who condoned slavery, that puts a whole different light on things, doesn't it?

[GENESIS 18]

_Torah:_ Later, God and two angels appeared to Abraham near some large trees. Sarah made them something to eat. God said, "I'll return to you about this time next year. By then, Sarah will have a son."

Sarah laughed, because she was so old, but God assured her and Abraham that Sarah would have a son.

_My note:_ Sarah made God something to eat?

Obviously, Yahweh must have looked just like a person, so the question is, what does he eat? What would you do if Yahweh showed up at your house? Don't you want to know what he likes to eat so you can give him a decent meal before you ask him to let you win the lottery, or let your favorite baseball team win the World Series?

_Torah:_ Then God told the two angels who were with him, "The cries against Sodom and Gomorrah are very great. Their sin is so bad I want to go see for myself."

Then the two angels walked with God and Abraham toward Sodom.

_My note:_ You would think if they were angels, they would have flown. They couldn't take motorcycles, because then they might be confused with... Hell's Angels!

_Torah:_ The angels kept going, but Abraham and God stopped walking. Abraham asked God whether, if there were 50 godly people in Sodom, God would destroy the city.

"No," said God. "I wouldn't."  
"45 godly people?" asked Abraham.  
"No," said God.  
"40 godly people?"  
"No," said God.  
"30?"  
"No."  
"20?"  
"No."  
"What if there were only 10 godly people in the city?"  
"I wouldn't destroy the city," said God.

After this talk, Abraham returned home.

_My note:_ You know what's going to happen next, right? Yahweh isn't going to find ANY godly people in the city.

But what about young children? Young children are without sin, contrary to what the Catholic Church and some Protestant churches say about the matter, so what's Yahweh going to do? Kill everyone, including the children? That wouldn't be right, would it? And yet, some people think Yahweh is incapable of doing wrong.

Yahweh (or the authors of the Torah, pretending there is a god named Yahweh) does wrong things all over the place, as you will soon see.

[GENESIS 19]

_Torah:_ The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening. Lot saw them and invited them to stay at his house. They agreed. Before they went to bed, some men from Sodom surrounded Lot's house and demanded that Lot bring the angels outside because the men of Sodom wanted to have sex with them.

Lot said, "No, don't do such an evil thing. Look, I have two daughters who are virgins. I'll bring them out to you. Do what you want to them. But don't do anything to these men."

_My note:_ Can you imagine any father saying such a thing? In effect, Lot says, "Here, don't gang rape these men, gang rape my daughters."

And notice that the angels were said to be "these men", not some characters in white wearing wings.

Is this a good story to be teaching children, about men wanting to gang-rape other men, and fathers offering their daughters to be gang-raped instead?

How does such a story affect children?

_Torah:_ "Get out of our way," the men of Sodom told Lot. They tried to force Lot to open the door, but the men inside [the angels] pulled Lot back into the house. Then the angels made the men of Sodom blind.

_My note:_ How did they make the men of Sodom blind? Did they throw some kind of poison or acid in their eyes?

Of course, there will be some people who will tell you that the angels were actually extraterrestrial beings, and they used laser beams to make the men of Sodom blind.

The angels should have taken some pictures of themselves and left them for posterity, so there wouldn't be any confusion about who these angels were, but Yahweh didn't know anything about photography, so there were no cameras.

What kind of god doesn't know anything about photography? Even today's eight-year-olds know how to take a picture.

Yahweh wasn't very bright, when you get right down to it.

_Torah:_ The angels told Lot, "Get all your people out of here. We're going to destroy this city."

The angels grabbed Lot, his wife and two daughters by the hand and led them safely out of the city. One angel said, "Run for your lives! Don't look back! Run to the mountains!"

Lot said he couldn't go to the mountains, that he wanted to go to a nearby town instead, so God said, "All right, but run there quickly."

After Lot reached the small town, God sent burning sulfur down from the sky. It came down like rain on Sodom and Gomorrah and destroyed those cities, the whole valley, and all the people living there.

But Lot's wife looked back, even though she had been told not to. When she did, she turned into a pillar of salt.

_My note:_ What kind of story is this to be teaching children? Can't we teach them nice stories, like the story about Hansel and Gretel, who are being fattened up with food so they can be eaten by the nice old lady?

And notice Yahweh killed all the children in the city. That wasn't very nice. Today, that would be considered a crime against humanity.

This god Yahweh keeps getting worse and worse.

_Torah:_ Lot and his two daughters left the small town and went to live in the mountains. They lived in a cave. One day, one of his daughters said to the other one, "Let's get our father drunk so we can make love to him and get pregnant."

So that's what they did. Lot wasn't aware he was sleeping with his daughters.

Both of the daughters got pregnant and had sons.

_My note:_ Again, what kind of stuff is this to be teaching children? I never learned about this stuff growing up as a Catholic. Do Protestants and Jews learn about this stuff when they are children?

I bet this passage gives a lot of twisted fathers the idea that incest is sanctioned by God himself, since there is nothing in this passage which condemns the behavior of Lot and his daughters.

And what do young girls think about this? Doesn't it confuse them?

Also, how can Lot's daughters get Lot so drunk that he didn't know he was making love to his own daughters? I don't buy it. Nobody can get that drunk. I bet Lot knew exactly what he was doing.

[GENESIS 20]

_Torah:_ In the meantime, Abraham moved to Gerar, in the Negev Desert. He told people there that Sarah was his sister. The king of Gerar, Abimelech, took Sarah away. Then Abimelech had a dream. In the dream, God said, "You're as good as dead because of the woman you have taken. She is already married."

_My note:_ Yahweh talks like a gang banger. "You're as good as dead, mother$%#...".

_Torah:_ But Abimelech hadn't gone near Sarah, so God said, "Return Sarah to Abraham. He is a prophet."

Abimelech asked Abraham, "Why did you say she was your sister?"

Abraham said, "I was afraid you would kill me if you knew she was my wife. Besides, she really is my sister. She's the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother...."

Abimelech returned Sarah to Abraham and gave Abraham sheep, cattle, slaves and land, plus twenty-five pounds of silver.

_My note:_ How does the author know what Yahweh said to Abimelech? How does he know what Abimelech and Abraham said to each other?

Every writer knows that this "omniscient" (all-knowing) point of view by the author is only seen in fiction, not non-fiction. That means that this passage, and many others in the Bible, are fiction, although some religious leaders will say, "No they're not! No, no, no, no, no! We'll burn you at the stake!"

That's actually a good response, because it means these religious leaders are doing exactly what Jesus said to do in Matthew 18:3: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

When religious leaders get all wound up and start saying "No, no, no" and "We'll burn you at the stake", that means they're acting like children, which means they're one step closer to entering the kingdom of heaven!

[GENESIS 21]

_Torah:_ Sarah became pregnant. She had a son by Abraham named Isaac. When Isaac was eight days old, Abraham circumcised him. At the time, Abraham was 100 years old.

_My note:_ So Abraham got Sarah pregnant when he was 99?

Sure he did.

Have you ever visited people in a nursing home and seen men who are 99 years old? If they were able to get an erection, the weight of the erection would cause them to tip over.

Of course, priests, ministers, rabbis and true believers will tell you that back in Biblical times, people were healthier than they are today, so when they were 99 years old, they looked like they were 29. Plus, the extraterrestrials were around back then, so when people started to get old, they simply went to the extraterrestrials and went into the extraterrestrial time machine, which could make people go backwards in time.

Some Biblical characters are still alive today, because they know where the extraterrestrials live, so anytime they want to get younger, they go see the extraterrestrials and use their time machine. But you and I can't use the time machine because we don't know where the extraterrestrials live.

Now does it all make sense?

_Torah:_ Isaac's half-brother, Ishmael [who was fourteen years older than Isaac], used to make fun of Isaac when Isaac was growing up. When Sarah heard it, she had Abraham throw Ishmael and his mother, Hagar, out of the house.

Ishmael grew up in the desert with his mother. He learned how to shoot with a bow. When he got older, his mother got him a wife in Egypt.

_My note:_ Do Jewish girls read this stuff and later, when they grow up, they think it's okay for them to choose wives for their sons?

[GENESIS 22]

_Torah:_ Later on, God put Abraham to the test. God told Abraham, "Take your son, Isaac, and give him to me as a burnt offering."

_My note:_ Abraham didn't question this?

I don't care who told him to sacrifice his son, Abraham should have questioned it.

Then again, American presidents often order American parents to sacrifice their children for no good reason, and many American parents are as willing to sacrifice their children as Abraham was willing to sacrifice his. They'll send their children to be sacrificed in Iraq, Afghanistan or some other place, even though almost none of the people in those countries pose a threat to the U.S., and even though none of the Iraqis, and almost none of the Afghans, did anything to the U.S.

So, why are American parents so willing to sacrifice their children? Don't they care about their children?

And the answer is, they've been trained to offer their sons (and to a lesser extent, their daughters) in sacrifice, and if the son or daughter dies, he/she is called a hero, and the parents are supposed to feel that their child made a sacrifice in defense of liberty, even if (as is true in many cases) the child was sacrificed for no good reason.

Many Americans get angry when you tell them this, because it's like telling a child that their parent did something evil. But some parents do evil things, and if their children continue to believe that their bad parents are good parents, that hugely increases the chances that those children will grow up to be bad parents themselves.

Not everything America does is good, or honest. If you can't handle that reality, I understand that. You're a victim of propaganda—the same type of propaganda which tells you that the god Americans worship is good and fair, but as the Bible itself repeatedly indicates, the god Americans worship is very often a heartless murderer, and he's unfair all over the place.

_Torah:_ Abraham took Isaac to the place where God had directed him. Isaac carried the wood for the burnt offering. Abraham carried the fire and knife.

"Father," said Isaac. "Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

"God himself will provide the lamb," said Abraham.

When they reached the place God had described, Abraham built an altar, arranged the wood on it, and tied up his son Isaac. He placed him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he took out his knife to kill his son.

_My note:_ So Abraham was really going to kill his son, just because Yahweh told him to? Why didn't Abraham tell Yahweh to go to hell?

Probably for the same reason most American parents don't tell the U.S. president to go to hell when he sends their child to an unjust war. In fact, most Americans don't even know whether its most recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were unjust, because they have no idea what's going on in the world, because the American media hides things from them.

For example, between 1990 and 2003, the United States supported sanctions against Iraq that killed an estimated 500,000 children. But most American don't even know about that. And why not?

Because the children weren't Jewish. If the children had been Jewish, do you think no one would know about it? On the contrary, everyone in America would know about it, and the American media would have called it a "Holocaust". But the American media decided that it was okay for the U.S. to kill all those Iraqi children, because the children were Muslims.

So now you can understand why so many Muslims hate America.

_Torah:_ Suddenly, an angel of the Lord called out from heaven. "Abraham. Abraham. Don't hurt the boy. Now I know that you have respect for God."

Abraham looked up. In a bush he saw a ram which was caught by its horns. Abraham took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son.

The angel of the Lord cried out, "I am taking an oath in my own name. I will bless you because you were willing to sacrifice your son. I will make your descendants as many as the stars in heaven. All nations on earth will be blessed because of your descendants."

_My note:_ It will be interesting to see whether it turns out to be true that "All nations on earth will be blessed because of your [Abraham's] descendants". But which descendants? The Jews? Or the Muslims?

[GENESIS 23]

_Torah:_ Abraham's wife, Sarah, lived to the age of 127. Her death filled Abraham with sorrow. He went to the place where her body was lying and sobbed over her. Then he buried her in a cave.

_My note:_ How come she didn't live to be 600 or 900 years old, like so many other Biblical characters?

And what are the chances that she lived to be 127? About zero?

[GENESIS 24]

_Torah:_ When Abraham became very old, he asked his servant to get a wife for Isaac.

The servant set out to get Isaac a wife. He came to a well. A young woman named Rebecca was at the well. She was very beautiful. Plus, she was a virgin.

_My note:_ When children read this, don't they ask, "Mommy, what's a 'virgin'?"

And how does the author know Rebecca was a virgin?

And who is telling this story now? There's been at least a thousand years between Adam and Abraham, so if it's the same person telling the story, that person has to be more than 1000 years old.

Imagine if he never cut his beard in all that time, how long it would be? It would be as long as Rapunzel's hair.

_Torah:_ Rebecca was the daughter of Bethuel [Isaac's cousin]. Rebecca gave Abraham's servant a drink from the well. The servant asked who she was, so she told him. Then the man said he was the servant of her relative, Abraham, and he gave Rebecca a gold nose ring and two gold bracelets.

Rebecca ran home and told her mother's family what had happened. Rebecca's brother, Laban, hurried out to the well to meet the servant and invite him back to their home.

_My note:_ Does Laban want a nose ring, too?

_Torah:_ Abraham's servant told Rebecca's family that he wanted to bring Rebecca back with him to be married to Isaac.

Laban and Bethuel, Rebecca's father, didn't want Rebecca to go, but Rebecca said she would, so Bethuel said, "Here is Rebecca. Take her with you and go back, so she can become Isaac's wife."

Abraham's servant gave Rebecca's family gifts of gold and silver jewelry, and fine clothes. Then he took Rebecca and left.

_My note:_ This teaches children that young woman are like horses and cows. They can be purchased from the family that "owns" them.

Also, wasn't Rebecca taking a big chance here? What if she didn't like Isaac?

_Torah:_ Isaac married Rebecca, and he loved her.

_My note:_ Well, at least he loved her—although it's not clear if "loved her" means he "loved her" (in the sense of "cared about her"), or whether he just made love to her.

[GENESIS 25]

_Torah:_ After Sarah died, Abraham married another woman, plus he had children by his concubines. Before he died, Abraham gave gifts to the sons of all his concubines, but when he died, he left all his property to Isaac.

_My note:_ "Mommy, what's a 'concubine'?"

Is it good for children to know what a concubine is? Isn't it better to teach them about porcupines? And notice that Yahweh didn't object to Abraham having concubines.

Who changed the law about concubines? If Yahweh condoned having concubines, who was man to change Yahweh's rule which said it was okay to have concubines?

_Torah:_ Abraham lived 175 years. His sons, Isaac and Ishmael, buried him.

Ishmael lived 137 years.

_My note:_ Abraham lived 175 years? Ishmael lived 137 years? Sure, I believe that. I'm 160 years old myself. I really am.

Did you know that it takes Neptune about 165 earth-years to make one revolution around the sun? That means that the people who live on Neptune who are one year old, Neptune time, are 165 years old, earth time.

_Torah:_ Isaac was 40 years old when he married Rebecca.

When Isaac and Rebecca were first married, Rebecca couldn't have children, but after praying, she got pregnant with twins. Isaac was 60 years old when the twins were born.

_My note:_ Does this mean Rebecca prayed for 19 years before Yahweh answered her prayers?

_Torah:_ When the twins were being born, the first one to come out was Esau. He was covered with hair. His brother, Jacob, who was born next, was holding Esau's heel when he was born.

Esau became a skillful hunter. Jacob was a quiet man. He stayed at home among the tents.

Isaac liked the meat of wild animals, so Esau was his favorite son. Rebecca's favorite was Jacob.

_My note:_ Shouldn't a parent try to love all his/her children equally?

And what kind of lesson is this to be teaching children, that it's okay to love one's children conditionally (based not on who the children are as individuals, but on what the children can do for the parents)?

_Torah:_ One day, Jacob was cooking some stew. Esau came in and was very hungry. He asked Jacob for some stew. Jacob replied, "First, sell me the rights that belong to you as the oldest son in the family."

"Look," said Esau. "I'm dying of hunger. What good are those rights to me now?"

Jacob said, "Promise me with an oath that you will sell me those rights."

Esau promised.

Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and stew.

_My note:_ What kind of story is this to be teaching children? That if a person is desperate, you should take advantage of him? Even if he's your own brother?

Not only that, but Jacob later gets his name changed to "Israel". His twelve sons founded the twelve tribes of Israel, so we're not talking about some nobody here. This guy could be a role model for Jewish and Christian boys.

What kind of role model is Jacob for children, taking advantage of the desperate situation of his own brother? And why don't the authors of the Torah condemn Jacob's behavior?

[GENESIS 26-27]

_Torah:_ About that time, there was little food in the land. Isaac moved with his family to Gerar. He told people there that Rebecca was his sister. He was afraid he would be killed if he said Rebecca was his wife, because Rebecca was a beautiful woman.

One day Abimelech, the king of the Philistines, saw Isaac hugging and kissing Rebecca, so he knew she was really Isaac's wife. Then Abimelech ordered that anyone who harmed Isaac or Rebecca would be put to death.

Isaac became rich. He became so rich that the Philistines became jealous of him, so they filled up all of Isaac's wells. The king, Abimelech, told Isaac, "Move away from us. You have become too powerful."

Isaac and his family moved a few times and finally settled in Rehoboth. King Abimelech came to visit him and make a peace treaty.

In the meantime, when Isaac's son Esau was 40, he married two Hittite women. Isaac and Rebecca were upset because the women were Hittites, but there was nothing they could do.

_My note:_ Again, is this anything to teach children, that it was okay back in Biblical days to have two wives? Doesn't this get Jewish and Protestant boys disappointed when they realize that in the modern world, they can have only one wife?

What if a man is worth ten billion dollars, and he wants to have 100 wives, and he's willing to give each wife $100,000 a year as long as they are married, and give each wife a $500,000 home, and pay all the expenses for the home after that? Why can't all the women marry the man if they want? That's not fair, is it, to deny the women what they want?

There's a lot of women who would love to marry a decent man who has money and will give them $100,000 a year and let them live in a decent house in a safe neighborhood with good schools, but the government instead forces the women to marry jerks who are slobs, who have no money, and the women have to live in dumps where drug dealers swarm the streets every night and shootings occur all over the place—and often, the men won't even marry the women.

Yahweh didn't say anything about a woman having multiple husbands, but he clearly didn't object to a man having multiple wives, so who is man to change Yahweh's law? Because if man can change one of Yahweh's laws, there's no reason he can't change all of Yahweh's laws—and that, of course, is what happens.

[GENESIS 27]

_Torah:_ When Isaac became old, his eyes became so weak he could no longer see.

One day, Isaac asked his son Esau to go kill some wild animals, then make Isaac a delicious meal. Afterwards, Isaac would give Esau his blessing before Isaac died.

Rebecca overheard this conversation. After Esau left to go hunting, Rebecca said to Jacob, "I heard your father speaking to your brother Esau. He said he wanted Esau to kill some wild animals and cook him a meal."

Rebecca continued, "I want you to get two goats. I'll prepare a delicious meal for your father. Take it to your father to eat. Then he'll give his blessing to you instead of to Esau."

Jacob said, "Esau's body is covered with hair. My skin is smooth. What if my father touches me? He'll know I'm trying to trick him. He won't bless me, he'll curse me."

_My note:_ Rebecca was a dishonest, deceitful woman. And notice that Jacob doesn't say, "No, I won't do that. It's wrong."

What kind of story is this to teach young girls, and young boys? Isn't the moral of the story that it's okay to deceive people, even your own parents, to get what you want? Couldn't this affect the behavior of these children when they become adults?

_Torah:_ Jacob's mother said, "Just do what I say. Let any curse fall on me."

Jacob got the goats. His mother made a delicious meal, just the way Isaac liked it. Then Rebecca took some of Esau's best clothes and put them on Jacob. She covered Jacob's hands and neck with the hairy skins of some goats. Then she handed Jacob the food to give to his father.

Jacob went to his father. His father said, "Who is it?"

Jacob said, "It's your oldest son, Esau. I brought you the meal you wanted. Eat some. Then you can give me my blessing."

Isaac said, "How did you find the wild animals so quickly?"

"God gave me success," said Jacob.

Then Isaac said, "Come near me so I can touch you. I want to know you are really my son Esau."

Jacob went close to his father. Isaac touched him and said, "The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau."

Then Isaac asked, "Are you really my son Esau?"

Jacob replied, "I am."

_My note:_ Jacob told three lies here. First, he said he was Esau. Second, when Isaac asked, "How did you find the animals so quickly?", Jacob said, "God gave me success." Third, when Isaac said, "Are you really my son Esau?", Jacob said, "I am." Plus, Jacob allowed his hands and neck to be covered with the hairy skins of goats so he could carry through the deception.

What kind of story is this to be telling children, that it's okay to deceive your own father and steal from your brother?

Wouldn't it be better to create a whole new Bible, with stories about how to be nice to each other, and how to get along with each other, and how to be fair with each other?

_Torah:_ Isaac ate the meal and drank some wine. Then Isaac said, "Come here, my son, and kiss me."

Jacob went and kissed him. When Isaac smelled the clothes, they smelled like Esau's clothes, so Isaac gave Jacob his blessing.

After Isaac finished blessing him, Jacob left. Right afterwards, Esau came in from hunting. He prepared a delicious meal for Isaac. He brought it to his father and said, "Father, eat some of my wild meat. Then give me your blessing."

"Who are you?" asked Isaac.

"Your oldest son, Esau."

Isaac started shaking all over. "Who just brought me a wild animal, which I ate, and I gave him my blessing?"

Esau began to cry loudly and bitterly. He said to his father, "Bless me too, father!"

Isaac replied, "Your brother Jacob came and tricked me. He took your blessing."

Esau said, "He cheated me twice. First he took my rights as the oldest son when I was starving. Now he's taken my blessing."

_My note:_ Here again, this is a bad lesson to teach children. A better lesson would be for Isaac to withdraw the blessing he gave Jacob, punish Jacob and Rebecca for deceiving him, and give his blessing to Esau. But Isaac didn't do that. Instead, he went along with the whole deceit as if it was out of his hands.

And notice how the writer of this part of the Torah didn't condemn the actions of Rebecca and Jacob.

_Torah:_ Then Esau asked his father, "Haven't you saved any blessing for me?"

Isaac answered, "I made Jacob ruler over you. I made all his relatives serve him, and I've provided him with grain and wine. What can I do for you now, Esau?"

"Bless me too, father," said Esau. Then he sobbed loudly.

Isaac said, "You will live far away from the richness of the earth and the dew of the heavens. You will live by the sword. You will serve your brother. But you will grow restless. Then you will throw off the burden your brother put on your shoulders."

Esau was angry with Jacob. He said to himself, "When my father dies, I'll kill Jacob."

Someone told Rebecca what Esau was thinking, so she told Jacob about it and told him to go to his uncle Laban's house and stay with him until Esau calmed down.

Later, Rebecca told Isaac, "I'm sick of living because of Esau's Hittite wives. What if Jacob marries a Hittite woman? Then my life won't be worth living."

_My note:_ What's so bad about a Hittite woman?

And as usual, the author pretends to know everything that happened, and what everyone was thinking, which doesn't make sense, unless it's fiction, which means it's not true.

[GENESIS 28]

_Torah:_ Before Jacob left to go to his Uncle Laban's house, Isaac called for him and blessed him.

_My note:_ He should have cursed him, not blessed him.

_Torah:_ Isaac told Jacob he shouldn't marry a Canaanite woman, that instead he should marry one of the daughters of his Uncle Laban. Then Isaac sent Jacob to live with his Uncle Laban.

When Esau heard about this, he went to his uncle Ishmael and married Ishmael's daughter, Mahalath. Esau added her to the wives he already had.

_My note:_ There isn't any talk in the New Testament about multiple wives, although all this talk about multiple wives must have made the Old Testament more interesting to many people. It was like an ancient Middle East soap opera.

[GENESIS 29]

_Torah:_ Jacob went to the land of his Uncle Laban. At a well, he met his cousin Rachel, who was his Uncle Laban's daughter. Jacob kissed her. Then he began sobbing loudly. He told Rachel he was her cousin.

Rachel ran and told her father what Jacob had said. Her father, Laban, rushed out to meet Jacob. He hugged and kissed him. Then he brought him to his home.

Laban asked Jacob if he wanted to work for him, and asked Jacob how much he wanted to be paid. Jacob said he'd work for seven years to get Laban's daughter, Rachel, so he could marry her. Laban agreed.

_My note:_ Here again, this treats women like they are property.

_Torah:_ After seven years, Jacob said, "I've completed my time. Give me Rachel as my wife."

But Laban didn't give Rachel to Jacob. Instead, he gave him Rachel's older sister, Leah. And Jacob made love to her, not knowing it was Leah.

When Jacob woke up the next day, he was surprised to find Leah next to him. "What have you done to me?" Jacob said to his uncle Laban. "I worked for you to get Rachel, didn't I? Why did you trick me?"

Laban replied, "It is our custom that the older daughter be married before the younger one. If you want Rachel, too, you'll have to work another seven years."

Jacob agreed. He worked for Laban another seven years.

_My note:_ First of all, it's hard to believe that Jacob didn't know who he was making love to. Didn't he say, "Rachel, my love, blah, blah, blah?"

Next, why would Jacob's own uncle, Laban, trick Jacob? What kind of uncle is that?

I suppose it's poetic justice, since Jacob earlier deceived his brother Esau, and now Jacob is the one being deceived.

Again, this is not the kind of lesson that children should be learning, because it suggests that to get what you want, it's okay to deceive others, even your own relatives. And once again, it suggests that women are property.

Also, if God says it's okay to have multiple wives, and having multiple wives could help a lot of desperate women around the world get out of dire poverty, shouldn't Christian fundamentalists start doing what God said, instead of overruling God?

Of course, maybe the devil opposes polygamy, because polygamy will get a lot of desperate women out of dire poverty, and the devil doesn't want that. That means when Christian fundamentalists advocate monogamy, they may be doing the work of the devil!

_Torah:_ God saw that Jacob loved Rachel more than he loved Leah, so he let Leah have children, but Rachel was unable to have them.

Leah had four sons: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah.

_My note:_ Yahweh let Leah have children, but not Rachel, just because Jacob loved Rachel more than he loved Leah? That doesn't make sense.

It seems Yahweh was being a jerk again—if it even happened the way it's written, which it almost certainly didn't.

[GENESIS 30]

_Torah:_ Rachel wanted children, so she told Jacob to make love to Rachel's servant, Bilhah. Jacob did.

_My note:_ What actually happened was that Jacob said, "No, no, no. I don't want to make love to any woman but you, my darling Rachel." But Rachel insisted, so finally Jacob said, "Okay."

_Torah:_ Bilhah got pregnant and had a son, Dan, then another son, Naphtali.

_My note:_ Two children? I guess Rachel must have kept insisting.

_Torah:_ Leah also wanted more children, but she couldn't get pregnant, so she asked Jacob to make love to Leah's servant, Zilpah. Jacob did.

_My note:_ What Jacob actually did was think to himself, "I hit a gold mine here."

_Torah:_ Zilpah had two sons, Gad and Asher.

Then Leah had two more sons, Issachar and Zebulun.

_My note:_ Now Jacob's got the rhythm down. He's bouncing around from bed to bed with four different women, having the time of his life.

_Torah:_ Finally, Rachel got pregnant and had a son. He was named Joseph. [Later, she had another son named Benjamin.]

_My note:_ Can you see how these stories might have excited people during the Middle Ages? It's like modern-day pornography, but because it's in the Bible, it's not pornography, it's scripture.

Neat little trick by the authors of the Bible. Sex sells, after all.

_Torah:_ Thus, Jacob had twelve sons: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph and Benjamin. [These sons became the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel.]

Jacob then told his uncle Laban that he wanted to leave. Laban asked him to stay.

_My note:_ Did Laban want a child, too?

_Torah:_ Jacob had made Laban very rich. Jacob said he would stay nearby and take care of Laban's flocks if Laban gave Jacob some of Laban's goats. Laban agreed.

_My note:_ Jacob must have been getting tired of women.

_Torah:_ Unknown to Laban, Jacob worked things out that when the goats mated and had young, the weak ones would go to Laban, and Jacob would keep the strong ones. Over time, Jacob got richer and richer.

_My note:_ Notice how the Torah teaches that wealth is so important. The New Testament (which is what many Christians emphasize) teaches something quite different, that wealth is often a dangerous or unnecessary thing.

And notice that Jacob is tricking his uncle Laban by making sure that his uncle gets all the weak goats.

Is it any wonder, with all this deception being taught to young Jewish boys, that someone like Bernie Madoff might be created, a man who thought it was okay to deceive even other Jews—even his own friends?

[GENESIS 31]

_Torah:_ Laban and his sons got angry. They thought Jacob had cheated them.

Then Jacob had a dream in which God told him, "Leave this land. Go back to your own land." So Jacob packed up his four wives and their children and started driving his livestock back to his father, Isaac.

_My note:_ His father Isaac is still alive? It's been at least 17 years (7 years before Jacob married Leah; another 7 before Jacob married Rachel; and at least another 3, presumably, before Joseph was born). Since Isaac was blind 17 years earlier, he must be in pretty bad shape by now (if the story is true).

_Torah:_ Before Jacob left, his wife Rachel stole the statues of her father's family gods. Plus, Jacob never told Laban he was leaving. He just left.

_My note:_ Her father's family gods? You see? There were gods all over the place back in Biblical times. Maybe every family had gods.

Where did all these gods go? Are they still around today? Are they trapped in bottles, like in the TV show, "I Dream of Jeannie"? What happens if you find one of the bottles and open it? Will a god come out and start granting your wishes?

What if you're a man, and a beautiful goddess comes out and says she will give you whatever you want, but you can only have one thing. What will you ask for? World peace? Which would you rather have, world peace, or sex with a goddess?

Wouldn't the world be a much better place if all the men who said "sex with a goddess" were forced to take part in a beauty contest, with two-piece bathing suits and a talent contest?

And what's this with Rachel stealing her father's family gods? It seems that just about all the great Israelite ancestors were a bunch of thieves, stealing from their own brothers and sisters, their fathers and mothers, and offering up their daughters to be gang-raped, or sleeping with their own daughters.

What kind of role models are these people for Jewish and Christian children?

Wouldn't it be better to have role models like Opie, Andy and Aunt Bee on "The Andy Griffith Show"? Even Barney Fife would be a better role model, since at least he doesn't go around lying and stealing, and offering up his daughters to be gang-raped.

_Torah:_ Three days later, Laban learned that Jacob and his family had left. Laban took some relatives and went after Jacob. Seven days later, he caught up with him.

Then God came to Laban in a dream. He told Laban, "Don't say anything to Jacob, whether it is good or bad."

_My note:_ How does the author know that Yahweh came to Laban in a dream, and what Yahweh said to Laban in the dream?

He couldn't know. It's all just a story, another fabrication.

_Torah:_ Then Laban said to Jacob, "What have you done? You tricked me. You didn't tell me you were leaving. Plus, you stole the statues of my gods."

Jacob said, "I was afraid to tell you I was leaving. I thought you would take your daughters from me by force. But if you find anyone who has taken the statues of your gods, that person won't live." [Jacob didn't know that Rachel had stolen the statues.]

Laban searched through the tents of Jacob, Leah and Rachel, but he didn't find anything. Rachel had hidden the gods inside her camel's saddle. She was sitting on them. She told her father, "I'm sorry, Sir. I can't get up for you. Don't be angry. I'm having my monthly period."

_My note:_ Here again, Jewish children are taught that it's okay to deceive—even to deceive one's parents—to get what they want, and that it's okay to steal, even from one's parents.

Also..."Daddy, what's a 'period'?"

_Torah:_ Laban searched everywhere else, but he couldn't find the statues.

Jacob became very angry. "What did I do wrong?" he said. "What have you found that belongs to you?"

Laban said, "Let's make a covenant not to harm each other." So they did.

_My note:_ Once again, Jewish children are taught not only that trickery gets you what you want, but there are no negative consequences to the trickery, and Yahweh doesn't condemn it, nor do the authors of the Torah.

Do you think it's a good idea to teach your own children to worship a god who approves of dishonesty, deceit, thievery and murder?

If you teach your children that such a god is okay, don't be surprised if they end up living in a commune whose leader is the next Charles Manson.

[GENESIS 32]

_Torah:_ Laban returned home. Jacob headed toward his father's home. He sent messengers ahead to his brother Esau. The messengers told Esau that Jacob was returning with many animals, and that Jacob wanted to please Esau.

Jacob's messengers talked to Esau, then returned to Jacob. They told Jacob, "We talked to your brother Esau. He's coming to meet you right now, with 400 men."

Jacob was afraid. He thought Esau might kill him. He prayed to God for help. He chose gifts for Esau: 220 goats, 220 sheep, 30 female camels and their young, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys, and 10 male donkeys. Then he sent the gifts ahead of him with his servants.

That night, Jacob got up and sent his family across the river, along with everything he owned.

Jacob was alone. A man struggled with him until morning. The man saw that he couldn't win, so he touched the inside of Jacob's hip, which became twisted. Then the man said, "Let me go. It's morning."

_My note:_ Now, out of nowhere, a man appears in the middle of the night and starts struggling with Jacob? Why? And why did they struggle all night? Why did he touch the inside of Jacob's hip, and why did the hip become twisted?

Some interpretations say that the man who struggled with Jacob was an angel. Others say the man was Yahweh himself, trying to keep in shape with a little wrestling.

Can Yahweh take on the form of a man any time he wants?

The obvious question is: What was Jacob doing wrestling with a man all night?

_Torah:_ Jacob said to the man, "I won't let you go until you bless me."

The man said, "What's your name?"

"Jacob."

"Your name will not be Jacob anymore," said the man. "From now on, it will be Israel. You have struggled with God and men. And you have won."

Jacob said, "Please tell me your name."

The man replied, "Why do you want to know my name?" Then he blessed Jacob.

Jacob said to himself, "I saw God face to face, but I'm still alive."

_My note:_ This suggests that the man Jacob struggled with was indeed Yahweh. But if it was, he had to be pretty old—at least a few thousand years old, and maybe 15 billion years old, which is pretty old to be wrestling. Plus, the man says, "You have struggled with God and men. And you have won."

What does that mean? That Jacob beat Yahweh in a wrestling contest? How can Yahweh be all-powerful if he loses a wrestling contest to Jacob? I bet Superman could have beaten Jacob in a wrestling contest.

Another thing. Who was this man to change Jacob's name? And why did Jacob go along with it? And why wouldn't this man tell Jacob his own name? And how does the author of Genesis know what Jacob said to the man, and what Jacob said to himself?

If the author of Genesis was Moses, as some people believe, Moses wasn't even born until more than 400 years after this incident took place, if it took place at all, so how could he know all the things that people said, did and thought?

It's all fiction—but rabbis, ministers and the Catholic clergy will tell you that it's not fiction, that it's true true true true true! You can believe them if you want, but what if they tell you that God said that, if you're a man, the only way you'll get into heaven is if you cut off your penis. Would you cut it off?

_Torah:_ The sun rose. Jacob was limping because of his hip. That's why the Israelites don't eat the meat which is on the inside of the hip. It's because the inside of Jacob's hip had been touched.

_My note:_ The Israelites don't eat the meat which is on the inside of the hip because the inside of Jacob's hip had been touched?

That makes no sense at all. These ancient Israelites must have been a bunch of lunatics.

Imagine if Jacob had been carrying a pizza, and the pizza had been touched? That would mean the Israelites couldn't eat pizza!

[GENESIS 33]

_Torah:_ Suddenly, Jacob saw Esau approaching in the distance with his 400 men. Jacob went out to meet him. As Esau drew near, Jacob bowed down to the ground seven times. But Esau ran forward and threw his arms around Jacob's neck, then kissed him. Then Esau looked up and saw all the women and children.

"Who are all these people?" Esau asked.

"They are the children God has given me," said Jacob.

"Why did you send all those animals to me?" said Esau.

"I wanted to please you," said Jacob.

"I already have plenty," said Esau. "Keep the animals for yourself."

"No, please," said Jacob. "Please accept these gifts. You have given me such a kind welcome. Seeing your face is like seeing the face of God. Please accept my gifts. I have everything I need." Jacob kept insisting, so Esau accepted the gifts.

"Let's go now," said Esau.

Jacob said, "The children are young, and many of the animals are nursing their young, so we must go slow. You go on ahead of me."

Later, Jacob finally arrived in Canaan. He bought a piece of land for 100 pieces of silver.

_My note:_ Why was seeing Esau's face like seeing the face of God? (I wouldn't ask that question of a clergyperson, because the clergyperson might pretend he knows the answer.)

How can anyone know the answer? And why is it we are never told what God's face looks like? Don't most people want to know that?

Also, why did Jacob buy a piece of land for 100 pieces of silver? I thought Yahweh had already given that land to the Israelites?

[GENESIS 34]

_Torah:_ Jacob had a daughter named Dinah. One day, she went out to visit the neighboring women. A man named Hamor was the ruler of that area. Hamor's son, Shechem, saw Dinah and raped her. Then he fell in love with her.

_My note:_ Is rape an appropriate subject for children?

_Torah:_ Shechem said to his father, "Get me that woman. I want her for my wife."

_My note:_ Who is Shechem to give orders to his father?

_Torah:_ Jacob and his sons heard that Dinah had been raped.

Shechem's father, Hamor, visited Jacob and said that Shechem wanted to marry Dinah. Hamor said, "Let our people and yours get married to each other. Give us your daughters to be our wives. I'll give you anything you ask."

Then Shechem [the rapist] said to Jacob and Dinah's brothers, "Give me your approval, and I'll give you whatever you want. Make the price for the bride be as high as you want, and I'll pay you whatever you ask."

_My note:_ Here again, women are treated as property.

_Torah:_ Jacob's sons lied to Hamor and Shechem. They said, "We can't give our sisters to men who aren't circumcised. That would bring shame on us. If you want our sisters, all the males in your family must get circumcised."

Hamor and Shechem agreed. They got circumcised themselves, and they convinced all the other men in their town to get circumcised.

Three days later, all the men were still in pain. Then two of Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi, attacked the town when the people didn't expect it. They killed every male, including Hamor and Shechem. Jacob's other sons looted the town. They took all the flocks and herds, and everything else of value.

Jacob said to his sons, "You have brought trouble on me now. There aren't many of us. The Canaanites may attack us. Then we shall be destroyed."

His sons replied, "Was it right for him to treat our sister like she was a prostitute?"

_My note:_ "Mommy, what's a prostitute?"

And here they are, the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel, tricking people into circumcising themselves, then killing not only the guilty person (Shechem), but killing all the men, looting the town, and taking all the flocks, herds, and everything else of value—and doing what with the women? Leaving them to fend for themselves?

These leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel were pretty savage, but it gets worse later, when they plan to murder their own brother, Joseph.

[GENESIS 35-36]

_Torah:_.... God appeared to Jacob again, and told him, "Your name is Jacob, but you will not be called Jacob anymore. Your name will be Israel. Have many children. A nation and a community of nations will come from you. Kings will come from you. I am giving you the land I gave to Abraham and Isaac. I will also give it to your descendants after you."

Then God left.

_My note:_ "God appeared to Jacob again..."

So you see? It WAS Yahweh who wrestled with Jacob!

Also, it appears from what is said that Yahweh allegedly gave land to Abraham and Isaac, but that didn't necessarily mean that the land would then go to Jacob. It appears that Yahweh had to come back and give the land to Jacob, that it didn't automatically pass down to him by descent. And while Yahweh allegedly says, "I will also give it to your descendants after you", Yahweh broke so many promises to the Israelites (see Exodus) that his promises aren't worth the paper they aren't printed on, because Yahweh didn't know how to make paper, or if he did, he certainly didn't tell the Israelites how to make it.

What kind of a god loses a wrestling match to a mere human, and he doesn't know how to make paper, or a copy machine? The Japanese and the Chinese know how to make copy machines.

Doesn't that mean the Japanese and Chinese are smarter than Yahweh?

_Torah:_ Jacob [hereafter referred to as "Israel"] and his family moved on from Bethel.

Rachel became pregnant. One day, she started to have the baby. She was having a difficult time of it. She had a son named Benjamin, but Rachel died. She was buried on the road to Bethlehem.

Finally, Israel came home to his father Isaac.

Isaac lived 180 years. Then he died. Esau and Israel buried his body.

_My note:_ 180 years? Why does the Bible tell such obvious lies? Plus, the Bible says Isaac was 60 years old when Esau and Israel were born, so that means Esau and Israel must have been 120 years old (180 – 60) when they buried Isaac.

More lies.

It's one thing to be a liar. It's even worse when you're a transparent liar. That suggests that you're not too bright.

[GENESIS 37]

_Torah:_ Israel loved his son Joseph more than he loved his other sons. He made Joseph a beautiful robe.

When Joseph was 17, he was helping his brothers care for some flocks. Joseph told his father that his brothers weren't doing a good job caring for the flocks.

_My note:_ In gang parlance, Joseph "ratted out" his brothers.

_Torah:_ Joseph's brothers saw that their father favored Joseph, so they resented Joseph. They wouldn't even speak kindly to him.

One night, Joseph had a dream. He told his brothers, "In my dream, we were tying up bundles of grain. Suddenly my bundle stood up. Your bundles gathered around my bundle and bowed down to the bundle."

"Do you think you will be king over us?" asked the brothers.

The brothers hated Joseph even more because of the dream.

Later, Joseph had another dream which he told his brothers. "In this dream, the sun, moon and 11 stars were bowing down in front of me." He also told his father Israel about the dream.

"What about this dream?" asked his father. "Do you really think your mother and I and your brothers will bow down before you?"

Joseph's brothers were jealous, but his father thought about the matter and kept it in the back of his mind.

_My note:_ How does the author know all this? How could he know about the dreams? How could he possibly know what Israel was thinking, or what Joseph's brothers were thinking?

_Torah:_ Joseph's brothers were taking care of the flocks. Israel told Joseph, "Go see how your brothers are doing."

Joseph's brothers saw him coming. Before Joseph reached them, the brothers made a plan to kill him. "Let's throw him into one of these empty wells," they said. "We can say he was eaten by a wild animal."

_My note:_ That's nice. Here they are, the leaders of ten or eleven of the twelve tribes of Israel (it's not clear whether Benjamin was with them), and instead of being decent fellows and setting a good example from now until the end of time, most of them are planning to murder their own brother, just because they don't like him.

_Torah:_ Joseph's brother Reuben tried to save Joseph. He said, "Let's not spill any blood. Throw him into this empty well, but don't harm him yourselves."

Reuben said what he said hoping that he could save Joseph and take him back to his father.

_My note:_ How could the author know what Reuben said, or what he was thinking, unless the author was the one who created the story?

_Torah:_ When Joseph arrived, he was wearing the robe his father had made him. His brothers took the robe and threw Joseph into the empty well. Then they sat down to eat. Soon, traders appeared in the distance. They were headed toward Egypt. Their camels carried spices.

One brother, Judah, asked his brothers, "What will we gain if we kill our brother? Let's sell him to these traders."

Judah's brothers agreed.

When the traders arrived, Joseph's brothers pulled him out of the well and sold him for eight ounces of silver. Then the traders left for Egypt.

The brothers took Joseph's robe and dipped it in goat's blood. Then they brought the robe back to their father. "We found this," they told Israel. "See if it belongs to your son Joseph."

Israel recognized the robe. "It's Joseph's robe," said Israel. "He must have been killed by a wild animal."

_My note:_ Joseph's brothers, the ancestors of the tribes of Israel, not only sold their own brother into slavery (and might have killed him if not for Rubin and Judah); they lied to their own father about Joseph's disappearance, which as described below, caused their father enormous pain.

And once again, is this a good story to be teaching children?

_Torah:_ Israel tore up his clothes. He wore black and sobbed over Joseph for many days. His other sons and daughters were unable to comfort him.

In Egypt, the traders sold Joseph to Potipher, who was one of Pharaoh's officials. He was the captain of Pharaoh's palace guard.

[GENESIS 38]

_Torah:_ In the meantime, one of Joseph's brothers, Judah, got married. He had three sons: Er, Onan and Shelah.

As his sons grew older, Judah got a wife for his son Er. Her name was Tamar. But Er was evil in God's eyes, so God put him to death.

_My note:_ Just like that, God put him to death.

_Torah:_ Then Judah said to his son Onan, "Make love to Er's wife, Tamar. You are her brother-in-law. Carry out your duty to her. Produce children for your dead brother."

Onan knew the children wouldn't belong to him, so every time he made love to Tamar he spilled his semen on the ground so she wouldn't get pregnant. God thought that was evil, so he put Onan to death.

_My note:_ First, God kills Er, then God kills Onan for not getting Tamar pregnant? Isn't that extreme? And if a child hears this story, won't the child say, "Mommy, what's 'semen'?"

_Torah:_ After Onan died, Judah told Tamar to go back and live in her father's house. "Wait there until my son Shelah grows up." She did, but she was afraid Shelah might die, too.

_My note:_ How does the author know what Tamar was thinking?

Again, it's fiction.

_Torah:_ After many years, Judah's wife died. After Judah got over his grief, he went with his friend to a place called Timnah to cut wool from Judah's sheep.

Tamar heard that her father-in-law Judah was on his way to Timnah, so she took off her widow's clothes and covered her face with a veil so no one would know who she was. Then she sat down on the road to Timnah. (Tamar knew that her brother-in-law Shelah had grown up, but she had never been given to him to be married.)

When Judah saw Tamar, he thought she was a prostitute because she was wearing a veil on her face. He didn't know she was Tamar, his daughter-in-law. He went to her and said, "Come here and let me make love to you."

"What will you give me?" she asked.

"I'll send you a young goat," he said.

"Will you give me something to hold until you can send me the goat?" she asked.

"What?" he replied.

"Give me your seal and your walking stick," she said.

He agreed, and gave them to her. Then they had sex, and she became pregnant.

_My note:_ Is it good to teach today's young Jewish and Christian girls how to sell sexual favors? Isn't that what this passage in the Bible teaches young girls to do? And why didn't Tamar just ask Judah openly where Shelah was, and why Shelah hadn't come to marry her? Why go through all the deception, and have sex with her father-in-law?

Another thing. If Judah knew how to please a woman, he wouldn't be paying her for sex, would he? He and Tamar would either have sex with each other for their mutual satisfaction, or if Judah really knew what he was doing, maybe he could charge her.

Should young men be taught how to please a woman? Should the Bible teach them, or some other book?

I think the Bible should teach them, as long as many people continue to read the Bible. Otherwise, many men will continue to not know what they're doing, many women will be disappointed, and there will be an imbalance in bargaining power, because the women can offer sex for money, whereas most men can't reply by saying they will give the women sex in return for sex, which ideally is how it should be.

The Bible should also tell people that anyone who has sex in the modern world without seeing the other person's very recent medical papers saying the person is free from STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) is a fool. Even wearing a condom doesn't keep the lovemakers 100% safe.

Also, the Popes have said that men shouldn't wear condoms, which is one of the most irresponsible things a Pope could tell a young man who is going to be having sex.

What does the Pope know about sex, anyway? If he grew up on a farm and saw all the animals having sex all over the place, that would be one thing. Then maybe he could answer the question about people having sex at a baseball game if the game gets boring. If he's infallible in faith and morals, certainly he could answer that question.

And how about if two dogs have sex at a baseball game, right out in the open. Is that immoral?

Is there any country in the world where people have sex right out in the open, in the middle of the day?

And why is everyone so obsessed about sex anyway?

Another thing. Why is the Pope called "the holy father"? He's not a father at all. And priests are called "fathers", too, even though almost none of them are fathers. Plus, they don't have to take care of real children like real fathers and mothers do. So calling them "father" is just part of the big lie.

If the Pope was a real father, he would teach his children to act responsibly. He wouldn't teach them to be idiots, nor would he fill their heads with lies. And the same goes for the priests.

Maybe we should have a contest to see what we should call priests, instead of calling them "father". Maybe we could call them "pawns" or "blackbirds", because when they get promotions, they become "bishops" or "cardinals".

And what about the Pope? He shouldn't be called the "Holy Father", because he's not a father, and even as a symbolic father, he's a lousy father, because he lets priests get away with raping children, and he doesn't teach his "flock" to be responsible. Plus, he uses his position to enrich the church at the expense of poor people all over the world.

So, what should the Pope's new nickname be?

Maybe we should have a competition to give him a new name.

Maybe Pope Francis will make things better, but he can only make things so much better, because of all the traditions of the Church.

It's worth noting that in Africa, those countries where the people are primarily Protestants have the highest rates of HIV infection. The countries where the people are primarily Catholics come in second, and those countries where the people are primarily Muslims have the lowest rates of HIV infection. So, in order to protect people in African countries from HIV infections, shouldn't the Catholic clergy and Protestant ministers advise the people to adopt the Muslim rules regarding sex?

They won't, though. That's because they care more about getting followers than saving lives, so you can see that they're not true Christians, they're a bunch of phonies.

_Torah:_ After Judah left, Tamar took off her veil, put on her widow's clothes again, and returned home.

Later, Judah gave his friend a young goat and sent him to find Tamar, so Judah could get back his seal and his walking stick. But his friend couldn't find Tamar. The friend returned to Judah and said, "I couldn't find her."

About three months later, Judah learned that Tamar was accused of being a prostitute, and that she was pregnant.

Judah said, "Bring her forward. Burn her to death."

_My note:_ Burn her to death? Gee, talk about savagery. What does this teach Jewish boys?

Clearly, Judah is just as merciless as Yahweh. And where was Tamar's father when all this was happening? If Judah burned Tamar to death, shouldn't Tamar's father have the right to burn Judah to death?

_Torah:_ As Tamar was being brought forward, she sent Judah a message. The message said, "I am pregnant by the man who owns this seal and this walking stick. Do you know who owns them?"

Judah recognized his seal and walking stick. He said, "She's a better person than I am. I should have given her to my son Shelah, as I promised."

Judah never had sex with Tamar again.

_My note:_ Again, is all this talk about sex a good thing to teach children?

Who is taught these things? Jewish children? Protestant children? I wasn't taught these things growing up as a Catholic.

Also, not even once in the Bible does it mention anything about dental floss, because Yahweh didn't know anything at all about dental floss.

What kind of a god doesn't know anything about dental floss? Even a lot of little kids know about dental floss.

[GENESIS 39]

_Torah:_ Meanwhile, Joseph had great success in Egypt. He lived in Potiphar's house. Potiphar saw that God made Joseph successful, so Potiphar put Joseph in charge of his whole house.

_My note:_ Did Yahweh make Joseph successful, or was he successful because of his own talents?

_Torah:_ Joseph was strong and handsome. After a while, Potiphar's wife noticed him. She said to Joseph, "Make love to me."

Joseph said, "No. My master trusts me. You are his wife. How could I do such an evil thing? That would be a sin against God."

_My note:_ What's this? Someone doing something that's moral?

You know what's going to happen next, right? Joseph will get punished for doing the right thing, whereas everyone else doesn't get punished for doing the wrong thing.

The Jewish Torah is one of the most topsy-turvy morality books ever written.

_Torah:_ Every day, Potiphar's wife asked Joseph to make love to her, but Joseph kept saying no. He didn't even want to be near her.

One day, Joseph was at Potiphar's house. None of the servants were there. Potiphar's wife grabbed Joseph by his coat. She said, "Make love to me." But Joseph ran out of the house, leaving the coat in her hand.

Potiphar's wife called her servants. "Look," she said. "The Hebrew slave tried to rape me, but I screamed for help and scared him off. Here is his coat."

Potiphar's wife told this story to her husband when he came home. Potiphar was furious. He had Joseph arrested and put into prison. While Joseph was in prison, God was with him.

_My note:_ So we see that even back more than 3000 years ago, there were some women who were willing to mess up men's lives with lies.

Then again, who knows what actually happened here.

And once again, is rape an appropriate subject for children?

_Torah:_ The man who was running the prison liked Joseph. He put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners. God gave Joseph success in everything he did.

[GENESIS 40]

_Torah:_ Sometime later, Pharaoh became angry with his top baker and his head wine taster. He put them both into the same prison as Joseph.

After a while, both the baker and the wine taster had dreams, but no one could tell them the meaning of their dreams.

Joseph said, "Only God knows the meaning of dreams. What were your dreams?"

_My note:_ First, Joseph says, "Only God knows the meaning of dreams." Then Joseph proceeds to interpret the dream.

Does Joseph think he is God?

_Torah:_ The head wine taster said, "I saw a vine in front of me. The vine had three branches. Bunches of ripe grapes grew on the vine. I had Pharaoh's cup in my hand. I squeezed the grapes into the cup. Then I gave the cup to Pharaoh."

"Here's the meaning of your dream," said Joseph. "In three days, Pharaoh will release you from prison. You'll get your job back. But when everything is going well for you, please remember me and do me a favor. Speak to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. I was taken from the land of the Hebrews against my will. Plus, I am innocent of the charge against me."

Then the baker said, "I had a dream, too. I had three baskets of bread on my head. In the top basket were all kinds of baked goods for Pharaoh. But the birds were eating all the goods in the basket."

Joseph said, "Your dream means this. The three baskets are three days. At that time, Pharaoh will cut off your head. Then he will stick a pole through your body and stand the pole upright. The birds will eat your body."

_My note:_ The baker replied, "Gee, thanks a lot, Joe. You're a real encouraging bastard."

_Torah:_ Three days later was Pharaoh's birthday. He had a big banquet for all his officials. He brought the wine taster and the baker out of prison. He gave the wine taster his job back, but he stuck a pole through the baker's body. Then he had the pole set upright, just as Joseph had predicted. But the wine taster forgot all about Joseph.

_My note:_ That must have been some birthday party.

How come they don't stick poles through people's bodies at today's birthday parties? And no wonder the wine taster forgot about Joseph as he sat in the banquet eating a piece of Pharaoh's birthday cake, looking at a guy with a pole stuck through his body.

And what kind of story is this to be telling children? This story, with a pole being stuck through the baker's body, is almost as bad as some cartoons that children watch these days.

Of course, we don't know if any of this Biblical story even happened, but it does keep the audience interested, don't you think?

[GENESIS 41]

_Torah:_ Two years later, Pharaoh had a dream. In the dream, he was standing by the Nile River. Seven cows came out of the river. They were fat and healthy.

After them, seven other cows came out of the river. They were thin and unhealthy.

The thin cows ate up the fat cows.

After that, Pharaoh woke up.

Later, Pharaoh had a second dream. In that dream, seven heads of grain were growing together on one stem. They were healthy and full.

After them, seven other heads of grain were growing. They were thin and dried up.

The seven thin heads of grain swallowed up the seven full heads of grain.

Pharaoh asked all the magicians and wise men in Egypt what his dreams meant, but none of them knew.

Then Pharaoh's head wine taster said, "I've done something wrong. When I was in prison, a young Hebrew slave was there with us. We told him our dreams. He explained them to us. Things turned out exactly as he said."

Pharaoh sent for Joseph. Joseph shaved and changed his clothes. When he came before Pharaoh, Pharaoh told him, "I had two dreams. No one can tell me what they mean. But I heard you can interpret dreams."

"I can't do it," said Joseph. "But God will give Pharaoh the answer to his question."

Pharaoh told Joseph the dreams. Then Joseph said to Pharaoh, "Both of Pharaoh's dreams mean the same thing. God is telling Pharaoh what he is going to do. The seven healthy cows are seven years. And the seven full heads of grain are also seven years. Both mean there will be seven years of plenty in Egypt.

"The seven thin cows are also seven years. And the seven thin heads of grain are also seven years. These mean that after the seven years of plenty, there will be seven years when there won't be enough food. Terrible hunger will destroy the land.

"God gave the dream to Pharaoh in two different ways. That's because God was sure of what he was going to do. And God will do it soon.

"Pharaoh should put a wise and understanding man in charge of Egypt. He should also appoint officials. They should take a fifth of the harvest during the seven years of plenty, and they should keep it in the cities for food. It should be saved up to be used later. Then the country won't be destroyed when the land doesn't produce enough food."

_My note:_ These days, people don't talk about their dreams very much, and if you want a psychiatrist or psychologist to interpret your dreams, it might cost you $150 an hour or more, even though they might not be very good at interpreting dreams.

Many psychiatrists and psychologists don't talk too much about dreams, and if you suggest that dreams come from some supernatural source, many of them will think you're a superstitious fool. But maybe dreams do come from a supernatural source—not necessarily from Yahweh, but from some other god, or maybe from the spirits of our ancestors. But most psychiatrists and psychologists don't believe that a god or some other supernatural force can be the source of dreams, because they have their own sacred medical books which they believe as fervently as religious people believe in the Bible, and their sacred medical books don't attribute anything to the influence of supernatural forces.

In other words, many psychiatrists and psychologists are as self-assured, and as close-minded, as many members of the clergy.

A lot of people in the modern world dismiss the importance of their dreams, but maybe their dreams are the time when they are closest to a god or a supernatural power, so maybe they should pay more attention to their dreams than they pay to soap operas, sitcoms or sporting events.

With respect to food production, it's also worth noting that right now, if the earth had a few years of extremely bad weather so that food production was cut by 30%, millions of people would almost certainly die. That's because the rich countries have no good plan to help the poor countries if something like that happened. Many of the rich countries don't even have good plans to take care of all their own people, let alone people in poor countries, because the rich people who run the wealthy countries often don't care about poor people. They would rather let two billion people die than lose even half their own money, which is why the poor people might want to consider passing laws which say it's okay to steal all the money of the rich people if times get tough.

And if the rich people start screaming and crying because all their money is gone?

That's to be expected, because it's like taking candy from a baby. The baby will start screaming and crying. Under these circumstances, it's best to give the rich people a lollipop, to stop them from crying.

Besides, when you think about it, many rich people are rich because they figured out a way to manipulate some market so they're able to rip off large numbers of people for small amounts. For example, if you can figure out a way to overcharge 200 million American adults 42 cents per month (or about $5.00 per year), that's a billion dollars per year! So if the poor and middle-class people can change the law to get that money back, that's simply getting back what the rich people stole in the first place!

Think of all the people who know how to steal a little bit every month from you: phone companies, electrical companies, oil companies, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, credit card companies, auto dealers, banks, schools, doctors, lawyers, restaurants, supermarkets, clothing stores, etc.—and perhaps the biggest thief of all, the government itself!

And remember when you used to get TV for free? And then cable came along, and the idea was that you'd have to pay, but you wouldn't have to watch commercials? But now everyone has to pay for TV, and there seem to be more commercials than ever!

The American people, played for suckers once again.

_Torah:_ Joseph's plan seemed good to Pharaoh and his officials. Pharaoh said, "The spirit of God is in this man. God has made all of this known to you. You will be in charge of my palace. All my people will obey your orders. Plus, you will be in charge of all Egypt. I will be greater than you only because I am the one who sits on the throne."

Pharaoh took his ring off his finger. It was the ring he used to stamp documents. He put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed Joseph in fine clothing and put a gold chain around his neck. He also had Joseph ride in a chariot. Officials went in front of him and yelled, "Get down on your knees."

_My note:_ The Catholic Church is always telling people to get down on their knees.

It's worth noting that the New Testament teaches people to be humble. Here, it says that Joseph is exalted, with the implication that it's good to be exalted.

What does this teach children who read it? That they should seek a position in life where they dress in fine clothing, wear gold chains around their necks, ride in fancy vehicles, and have people bow down to them?

Some things haven't changed. Today's TV shows are full of people flaunting their homes, their clothing, their gold chains and their fancy cars. But are those the kinds of values we want to be teaching children? Are those the kinds of values that will make this the best possible world for the most people?

Right now, if somebody drives down the street in a Mercedes or a Porsche, many people assume that the person who owns the car has high status. That's because they've been taught to think that way.

I think just the opposite. I know that if the person had bought a car for $30,000 instead of $60,000, they could have given the extra $30,000 to an organization that provides food to desperate people. That way, they could be saving the lives of 10-20 people or more. By buying the more expensive car, they give up the chance to save all those people. Thus, I see all people in expensive cars as mass murderers—and now that I've taught you to think that way, you have a choice to either think that way yourself, or think the old way, which is to consider yourself inferior to rich people who could help save the lives of many people, but instead choose to let them rot and die.

Why would you put such people above yourself? True, you've been trained to think that way, and it's not easy to overcome the training, especially if you covet your neighbor's Mercedes or Porsche, or you want a Mercedes or Porsche because you've been trained to believe you'll get a date with a beautiful woman (if you're a man), or you'll be able to hold your nose up in the air around other women (if you're a woman). And if that's the way you think, you end up living your entire life trying to get things that prove you have high status, when in fact you've become a robot, which means you have the lowest possible status, because you're a machine. The only ones you fool are other robots who have been programmed to think the way you think, and who can't think for themselves.

The problem is, advertising is so pervasive, and so effective, that the entire United States is overflowing with robots. The only ones you can be sure of who aren't robots are babies and small children, which is why I like spending my time with babies and small children, or adults and older children who act like babies and small children.

If you can get rid of the brainwashing you've been subjected to, then you should see the rich people as inferior to you, because unlike them, you believe that human life is more important than superficial status symbols.

_Torah:_ Pharaoh also gave Joseph a wife. Joseph was 30 years old at the time.

_My note:_ Once again, women are treated like property.

_Torah:_ During the seven years when there was plenty of food, Joseph collected all the extra grain and stored it in the cities. He stored huge amounts of grain. In the meantime, he also had two sons. The first he named Manasseh, the second, Ephraim.

The seven years of plenty came to an end. Then began the seven years when there wasn't enough food in any of the lands around Egypt. But in Egypt, there was food.

After a while, even the people in Egypt ran out of food, so they went to Joseph for more. Joseph opened the storerooms where he kept the grain which had been collected.

Joseph sold grain to the Egyptians. He also sold grain to people from other countries who came to Egypt for food, because there was no food anywhere else in the other countries.

_My note:_ Notice that Joseph sold the grain to the people, he didn't give it to them.

In other words, the people were forced to give Joseph the grain, for which he paid nothing, then he sold back the very same grain he had gotten for free!

That's quite a racket, don't you think? You go up to people, tell them to give you a portion of their grain or you'll cut off their heads, and then, when there's a bad crop year, the people must buy back the grain that you extorted from them.

Is that the kind of lesson we want to be teaching children? To use extortion to get things from people, and when the people are desperate, to take advantage of their desperation? How many Jewish children believe there's nothing wrong with acting this way, since their sacred Torah seems to condone it?

[GENESIS 42]

_Torah:_ Joseph's father, Israel, found out there was grain in Egypt, so he told his sons to go buy some.

Ten of Joseph's brothers went to Egypt to buy grain. The only one who didn't go was Joseph's youngest brother, Benjamin.

When his brothers came to Egypt, Joseph recognized them, but they didn't recognize him. Joseph pretended he didn't know them.

Joseph spoke to his brothers in a harsh way. He said, "You are spies! You have come to scout out our land to see where it isn't well guarded."

"No, sir," they said. "We have come to buy food. We are the sons of one man. We're honest men. We aren't spies."

_My note:_ Joseph pretends he doesn't know them, and they say they are honest men. Which means none of them is being honest.

_Torah:_ "No!" Joseph said to his brothers. "You have come to see where our country is unprotected."

The brothers replied, "We, your servants, were twelve brothers, all the son of one man, who lives in Canaan. The youngest is back with his father, and the twelfth one is dead."

"I still say you are spies," said Joseph. "I'm going to test you. You must get your youngest brother to come here. One of you go back and get him. The rest will wait in prison until the youngest brother gets here."

Joseph kept them in prison for three days. Then he said, "If you are honest men, take grain back to your hungry families, but one of you must stay here until the rest bring your youngest brother back to me. That will prove you are honest."

The brothers agreed to do what Joseph said. Then they talked among themselves and said, "God is punishing us because of what we did to Joseph."

Reuben said, "Didn't I tell you not to harm Joseph?"

They didn't know that Joseph could understand what they were saying. Joseph had been talking to them in the Egyptian language. An interpreter then would tell the brothers what Joseph was saying.

_My note:_ Here again, how did the author know all these things which allegedly happened? How did he know what the brothers said among themselves?

Even though this reads like fiction rather than non-fiction, we are told that because it's in the Bible, it's the word of a single god, and it's all true, and we better believe it, or else!

Why do all the priests, ministers and rabbis lie to us about so many things? Do they all have serious mental problems? Or are they all so thoroughly deceived themselves that they'll never be able to think straight, which means they'll never be able to teach our children to think straight?

Do we want our children to be taught by people who can't think straight, who tell our children lie after lie, and who can't even figure out fact from fiction themselves?

Isn't that being an irresponsible parent?

And why do we let Jews and Christians work in America's intelligence agencies, such as the CIA, NSA and DIA? If they can't figure out fact from fiction regarding something as simple as the existence or non-existence of Yahweh, how are they going to figure out fact from fiction regarding the Chinese, or North Koreans, or Russians, or Pakistanis, or Iranians, or Lebanese, or Syrians, or Egyptians, or Libyans, or Turks, or Israelis, or Mexicans, or Brazilians, or Argentinians, or Venezuelans, or Cubans...?

_Torah:_ Joseph turned from his brothers and started sobbing. Then he turned back around and had his brother Simeon taken and tied up.

Then Joseph ordered that the sacks of the other brothers be filled with grain. He also ordered that each brother's money be returned to his sack, although the brothers didn't know this.

Then the brothers loaded the sacks of grain onto their donkeys and left.

That night, when the brothers stopped, one of the brothers opened his sack to feed his donkey. He saw his money. He said to the others, "My money has been returned to me. It's right here in my sack."

The brothers became afraid. "What has God done?" they said.

When they returned to their father in Canaan, they told him everything that had happened. Then they began to empty their sacks. In each man's sack was a bag of money.

When they saw the money, Israel and his sons were afraid. Israel said to them, "You have taken my children from me. First Joseph, then Simeon. Now you want to take Benjamin. Everything is turning against me!"

Reuben replied, "I'll bring Benjamin back to you. If I don't, you can kill my two sons."

Israel said, "Benjamin won't go with you."

[GENESIS 43]

_Torah:_ There still wasn't enough food throughout the land. After a while, Israel's family had eaten all the grain the brothers had brought from Egypt, so Israel told his sons, "Go back and buy us more food."

_My note:_ All this time that the family has been sitting around at home eating their grain, poor Simeon their brother is back in Egypt, locked up.

_Torah:_ Israel's son Judah told his father, "The man in Egypt [Joseph] said we would not see his face again unless we brought our youngest brother with us."

Israel asked, "Why did you bring me all this trouble? Why did you say you had a younger brother?"

They replied, "The man asked us many questions about our family. He asked if our father was still alive, and whether we had another brother."

Then Judah said, "Send Benjamin with me. Then we'll all live. If he doesn't come with us, we'll all die.

"Don't worry," Judah continued. "I'll bring Benjamin back. But we must go now. We've waited too long."
Israel said, "Okay, but do what I say. Bring the man [Joseph] some gifts. Bring spices and myrrh and almonds and some honey. Also, bring some pistachio nuts, and bring twice the amount of money that you need. You have to return the money that was put in your sacks. And take your brother Benjamin. If I lose my sons, there's nothing I can do."

The brothers took the gifts, Benjamin and twice the amount of money they needed and hurried to Egypt.

When they met Joseph, he saw that they had Benjamin with them. Joseph told the manager of his house, "Take these men to my home. Kill an animal and make a fine dinner. I'll eat with them at noon."

The manager did what Joseph said.

Joseph's brothers were afraid. They thought they were being brought to Joseph's house because of the money that was in their sacks when they left Egypt the last time. They thought, "He wants to overcome us and make us his slaves, and take our donkeys."

Before entering Joseph's house, the men told Joseph's manager that they had found money in their sacks after they left Egypt the last time. "We brought the money back with us," they said. "We don't know who put the money in the sacks."

_My note:_ If conditions were different, and the famine had ended before the brothers returned to Egypt, do you think they still would have returned the money?

_Torah:_ "It's okay," said the manager. "The God of your father has given you riches in your sacks." Then he brought out their brother Simeon.

The manager took the men into Joseph's house. He gave them water so they could wash their feet, and gave them food for their donkeys. The brothers prepared their gifts for Joseph.

When Joseph arrived, they bowed down in front of him. Then the brothers gave Joseph the gifts they had brought. He asked them how they were doing. He then asked, "How is your old father doing? Is he still alive?"

They replied, "Our father, your servant, is alive and well." Then they bowed down to him again.

Then Joseph saw Benjamin. He asked, "Is this your youngest brother?" Then Joseph said, "May the Lord be gracious to you, my son."

Joseph was deeply moved to see Benjamin, so he hurried out of the room so he could cry. Then he washed his face and returned. "Serve the food," he said.

_My note:_ Again, who is telling this story? How does the author know Joseph was deeply moved to see Benjamin, so he hurried out of the room so he could cry?

This story is full of interesting details, so the person who wrote the story was obviously a skilled writer—but he was a skilled fiction writer.

_Torah:_ Joseph was served by himself. The brothers were also served by themselves. The Egyptians were also served by themselves, since it was the custom that Egyptians couldn't eat with Hebrews.

The brothers had been seated according to their ages, from oldest to youngest. When this happened, they looked at each other with much surprise. Benjamin was given five times as much as his brothers were given.

_My note:_ You may recall that Benjamin was Joseph's full brother, whereas the other brothers were Joseph's half-brothers.

[GENESIS 44]

_Torah:_ After they ate, Joseph told his manager his plan. "Fill the men's sacks with food, then put each man's money in his sack. Then, put my silver cup in the sack of the youngest one."

The manager did what Joseph said.

_My note:_ Deceit once again. Still more bad lessons for young children?

_Torah:_ The next morning, Joseph's brothers left on their donkeys. A little later, Joseph told his manager to go catch them. Joseph said, "Ask them why they stole my silver cup, after I was good to them."

When the manager caught up to Joseph's brothers, he told them what Joseph had told him to say. They replied, "We would never do anything like that. We even returned the money from the first time we were here, so why would we steal your master's silver cup? If you find that any of us has the cup, he will die."

Each man put his sack on the ground and opened it. Joseph's manager searched from the oldest to the youngest. Finally, he found the cup in Benjamin's sack.

When the manager found the cup, the brothers were so upset they tore their clothes. Then they reloaded their donkeys and returned to the city.

Joseph was in his house when his brothers came in. He said, "What have you done? Did you think you could fool me?"

"There's no way we can prove our innocence," said Judah. "We are now your slaves, all of us."

Joseph replied, "I wouldn't make all of you my slaves. Only the man with the cup will be my slave. The rest of you can return to your father."

Judah approached Joseph. "Please, sir," he said. "If we return to our father and the boy isn't with us, our father will die as a sad old man. He'll go to his death full of sorrow. I promised my father I would protect the boy. Please, then, let me stay here as your slave in place of the boy. Let the boy return to his father."

_My note:_ At last, one of the brothers does something noble.

[GENESIS 45]

_Torah:_ Joseph could no longer control himself. He cried out, "Have everyone leave the room." Then he told the men, "I am your brother Joseph. Is my father still alive?"

But his brothers couldn't answer him. They were too afraid.

Joseph told his brothers, "Come close to me." They did. Then he said, "I am your brother Joseph, who you sold to the traders. They took me here to Egypt. But don't worry, and don't be angry with yourselves for the evil you did. God sent me here to save many lives."

Joseph continued, "For two years now, there hasn't been enough food, and that will continue for another five years. But God sent me here to keep you and many others alive.

"So you see, it wasn't you who sent me here. It was God. He made me ruler of all Egypt."

_My note:_ Did Yahweh, or some other god, actually cause Joseph to be sold to the traders, so that the brothers weren't responsible? I suppose it's possible, which means that every time someone commits a crime, it could be a god who's making the person do it. Or maybe it's the devil who's making them do it.

If all behavior is the result of gods making decisions, and people unknowingly doing what the gods want, wouldn't that mean we're all robots?

I don't believe there's any way to prove that we're NOT robots.

Then again, maybe we're robots just part of the time. Certainly many people are easily programmed. For example, many people are programmed by advertising to believe that Bayer is the best aspirin, when in fact there is no difference between ordinary Bayer aspirin and other aspirins, except that Bayer aspirin is more expensive.

If the people at Bayer were honest, they'd run advertisements saying, "Don't buy Bayer aspirin, because you can buy an equivalent aspirin for much less."

So you see? The people who sell Bayer aren't honest. And they're also not looking out for your best interests, even though they pretend they are. And if Bayer lies about its aspirins, how many of its other products does it lie about? All of them? Don't Bayer's advertisements about its aspirins suggest that it is NEVER a good idea to trust anything that is said by the people who run the company which makes Bayer aspirin?

Liars, liars, everywhere.

People are also programmed to like some products over other products. That's what advertising tries to do, program people, just like there might be gods who program people. Or maybe it's not gods, maybe it's extraterrestrials. Maybe people are like rats in mazes, and the extraterrestrials are watching us to see how we behave.

Right now, huge numbers of people in the world are programmed to think that they want more, more, more, even though such an attitude keeps prices escalating and ultimately, it will deprive the planet of so many basic natural resources that it's bound to result in huge deprivation, conflict and wars. Yet in some cultures, a person has high status not according to how much he owns, but according to how much he gives away.

Should that be the rule for everyone on the planet?

Is there any way to reprogram people to do what's best for the planet, and for the health of everyone on it?

And what about the Bible? Isn't the Bible like one big computer program, trying to program people's minds to think in certain ways so they'll act in certain ways? Certainly one major reason why prisons will give out Bibles to prisoners is because they assume, rightly, that prisoners will read the New Testament, which will teach prisoners to be submissive. Prisons don't give out books on karate, or books on how to make shanks or acids which you can throw into the faces of other prisoners, or guards.

_Torah:_ Joseph then told his brothers, "Now, hurry back to your father and tell him about me. Tell him to move down here with you and your families, and your flocks and herds. All that you own will be near me. You can live in the area called Goshen. I'll give you all that you need.

"There will be five more years without food. If you don't come down here, you'll lose everything. Do this quickly."

Joseph and Benjamin then hugged each other and began sobbing. Then Joseph kissed all his brothers and sobbed over them. After that, they all talked.

When Pharaoh and his officials learned that Joseph's brothers had come, they were pleased. Pharaoh told Joseph, "Tell your brothers to return to Canaan, get their families, and bring them back here. I'll give you the best land in all Egypt. Also, tell them to take some carts back to Canaan with them. Their families can use them. And tell them to bring your father back here, and he will have the best of everything in Egypt."

Joseph's brothers returned to Canaan with the carts and plenty of supplies, plus some new clothes. Joseph also gave them ten male and ten female donkeys loaded with supplies. As they were leaving, Joseph told them, "Don't argue with each other."

The brothers returned to Canaan and told their father that Joseph was alive.

Israel was shocked. He didn't believe what they were saying, so they showed him the carts and all the supplies. Then he believed them. That gave new life to Israel. He said, "Now I believe it. Joseph is still alive! I'll go down to Egypt and see him before I die."

_My note:_ Notice how Yahweh, who modern people think is all-knowing and all-powerful, still hasn't told Joseph or anyone in his family how to make motorized vehicles to take the place of the donkeys and the carts. In fact, Yahweh withheld this information for at least another 3000 years.

What was he doing all that time? Sitting on the throne?

[GENESIS 46]

_Torah:_ Israel took his family and everything he owned and started out for Egypt. When he reached Beersheba, he made sacrifices to the God of his father, Isaac.

God spoke to Israel in a vision. He said, "Israel, Israel."

"I am here," said Israel.

"I am the God of your father. Do not be afraid to go to Egypt. There I will make you and your descendants into a great nation. I will be with you in Egypt. I assure you that you will return again. And when you die, Joseph himself will close your eyes with his own hand."

_My note:_ Was this a direct quote by Yahweh? Who recorded this quote? And why did Yahweh speak to Israel in a vision? Why doesn't Yahweh just come out and introduce himself to everyone, instead of appearing in dreams or sending down rain on everyone to make a flood and kill all the people on the planet?

What is Yahweh afraid of? Does he look like Ronald McDonald? That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Come out, Yahweh. Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Of course, if there has been a contest among all the world's gods for all these years, and the ultimate winner is Yahweh, then the question becomes, will he punish me for making fun of him?

But I wasn't making fun of him. The gods of the Irish cause me to do what I do, I'm just a robot, so if Yahweh wins the god contest, and he's going to punish someone for what has been said here, he needs to punish some Irish god, or maybe some Irish goddess.

But what if some Irish god wins the god contest? Does that mean he'll punish everyone for their sins? Or will he adopt an approach stated by some Frenchman, that "to understand all is to forgive all", so instead of slaughtering one-third of the people on the planet (which Yahweh is supposed to do, according to Revelations), the Irish god will instead try to understand everyone so that he might forgive them for all their sins?

The answer to this question will determine whether you should invest in body bags, or party favors.

_Torah:_ Israel and his family left Beersheba for Egypt. His sons put Israel and their own families in the carts supplied by Pharaoh. They also took their livestock, and everything else they had in Canaan.

_My note:_ So they abandoned the land in Canaan. Doesn't that mean it now belongs to whoever comes along and claims it?

_Torah:_ Israel sent Judah ahead of them to meet Joseph. Soon, Israel and the others arrived in Goshen, Egypt. Joseph went to Goshen in his chariot to meet his father. When he saw him, Joseph threw his arms around him and sobbed for a long time.

Israel said to Joseph, "Now I see that you are alive. Now I can die in peace."

The total number of people in the family line of Israel and Leah was 33.

The total number of people in the family line of Israel and Zilpah was 16.

The total number of people in the family line of Israel and Rachel was 14.

The total number of people in the family line of Israel and Bilhah was 7.

Thus, the total number of those who now lived in Egypt with Israel was 70. That included the two sons who had been born to Joseph in Egypt.

Joseph spoke to his brothers and to the rest of the family. He said, "I'll go speak to Pharaoh and tell him my family is here. Pharaoh will send for you. He'll ask what you do for a living. Tell him, 'We've taken care of livestock ever since we were boys.' Tell him that because it's not the custom of the Egyptians to associate with shepherds. That way, Pharaoh will let you live in the region of Goshen."

_My note:_ In other words, Joseph tells his brothers to lie to Pharaoh.

More good lessons for children.

[GENESIS 47]

_Torah:_ Joseph and five of his brothers met with Pharaoh. When Pharaoh asked the brothers what they did for a living, they said, "We are shepherds. That's what our fathers were."

_My note:_ They told Pharaoh they were shepherds? Why didn't they lie, as Joseph told them to do?

I don't know the answer, but I'm sure some of the clergy does (even though they couldn't possibly know).

_Torah:_ Pharaoh told Joseph, "The land of Egypt is open to you. Let your family live in Goshen."

Pharaoh then asked Joseph, "Do any of your family members have special skills? If they do, you can put them in charge of my livestock."

Then Joseph brought in his father, Israel. Israel gave Pharaoh his blessing. Then Pharaoh asked Israel, "How old are you?"

"130 years old," said Israel.

_My note:_ 130 years old? Another lie.

_Torah:_ Joseph settled his father and brothers in Egypt. He gave them and their families enough food to survive the famine.

Still, there was hardly any food in the whole area. Both Egypt and Canaan lost their power because there was no food.

Joseph collected all the money in Egypt and Canaan. People paid him the money to buy grain. Joseph brought the money to Pharaoh's palace.

After the Egyptians ran out of money, they came to Joseph and said, "Give us food. Why should we die? We have no money."

"Bring your livestock," said Joseph. "If you have no money, I'll trade you food for your livestock."

_My note:_ Why didn't Joseph let them keep their livestock, and give them the grain they needed for free, since the grain had been theirs to begin with?

Once again, this is taking advantage of desperate people, just as Joseph's father, Israel (aka Jacob), took advantage of his own desperate brother, Esau.

_Torah:_ So the Egyptians traded their livestock for food. They gave Joseph horses, cattle, donkeys, sheep and goats. That way, the people could make it through the year.

The next year, the people said, "Our money is gone. We don't have anything else to give except our bodies and our land. Trade us food for ourselves and our land. Then we and the land will belong to Pharaoh. Plus, give us some seeds so we can live."

So Joseph bought all the land in Egypt for Pharaoh, and Joseph made all the people in Egypt slaves. But he didn't buy the land that belonged to the priests. They still received their regular share of food.

_My note:_ Joseph made all the people slaves? Nice guy. And of course the priests still kept their land, and received food.

_Torah:_ Then Joseph gave the people some seeds. He told them, "Plant the seeds, but when your crops come in, you must give one-fifth of the crops to Pharaoh. Keep the other four-fifths for yourselves and those you live with."

"You have saved our lives," they said.

_My note:_ You'd think they would have said something more like, "Hey, Joe. You tricked us. You forced us to give you our food for free, then you sold it back to us, then you took all our land and livestock, and now you've turned us into slaves. We're gonna cut your throat if we can ever get close enough, you greedy, no-good punk."

_Torah:_ Israel lived 17 years in Egypt. He lived a total of 147 years.

_My note:_ Sure he did. Then he turned into a giant pumpkin, and while he was running out of the ball, he lost one of his glass slippers, so the prince took the slipper and he went around the entire kingdom trying to see if the glass slipper fit any of the pumpkins.

_Torah:_ When Israel was about to die, he sent for Joseph. He told Joseph, "If you are pleased with me, put your hand under my thigh. Promise me that you will be faithful to me. Don't bury me here in Egypt. Bury me where the rest of my family is buried."

"I'll do what you say," said Joseph.

Then Israel leaned on his wooden staff and worshiped Yahweh.

[GENESIS 48]

_Torah:_ A while later, Joseph was told that Israel was sick. Joseph took his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, to see Israel. When they got there, Israel was told, "Joseph has come to see you."

Israel felt stronger when he heard this. He sat up in bed....

Because of his age, Israel couldn't see very well, so Joseph brought his sons close to him. Israel kissed and hugged them. Israel told Joseph, "I thought I would never see you again. Now God has allowed me to see both you and your children."

Joseph took his sons away from Israel and bowed down before him. Then Joseph put Ephraim on his right, and Manasseh on his left.

Israel crossed his arms, putting his right hand on Ephraim's head, and his left hand on Manasseh's head, even though Ephraim was the younger son. Then he gave Joseph and the boys his blessing.

Joseph didn't like that Israel put his right hand on Ephraim's head. He tried to move Israel's right hand to Manasseh's head, but Israel wouldn't move it.

"I know Manasseh is the older brother," said Israel. "But his younger brother Ephraim will become greater than Manasseh."

In this way, Israel put Ephraim ahead of Manasseh.

_My note:_ Remember when Jacob (aka Israel) stole his brother Esau's birthright when Esau was starving? So we see that, once again, Israel (aka Jacob) is upsetting the order of things.

[GENESIS 49]

_Torah:_ Then Israel said, "You, Joseph, are above your brothers, so I'm giving you the land I took from the Amorites."

_My note:_ That land didn't do Joseph much good, since he was in Egypt, and the land Israel took from the Amorites was now occupied by others, and would be for the next 400-plus years. The only way for Joseph's descendants to get it back was by force.

_Torah:_ Then Israel sent for his other sons. (As stated earlier, Joseph and these other sons were the leaders of the twelve tribes of Israel. The twelve were: Joseph, Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun and Benjamin.)

Israel gave each of his sons a blessing that was just right for him.

Israel then said, "I am about to die. Bury me in the cave in Canaan with my family. Abraham and Sarah are buried there. So are Isaac and Rebecca. Leah's body is also buried there." [Leah was Jacob/Israel's first wife.]

Then Israel died.

[GENESIS 50]

_Torah:_ Joseph sobbed over his father's body, and kissed him. Then Joseph told the doctors who served him to prepare Israel's body for the journey back to Canaan. It took them 40 days to do it. The Egyptians sobbed over Israel for 70 days.

_My note:_ Why would the Egyptians sob over Israel's death for 70 days?

Just another of the many lies of the Bible.

I know it will annoy many people when I say the Bible is full of lies. But it IS full of lies. If you're going to say it isn't, then your mind is gone. You'll almost certainly get angry if I say your mind is gone. But it IS gone. If someone tells you the truth, and you can't handle it, that almost certainly means you're not a good parent, because children are constantly telling adults the truth about things—truths many parents don't want to hear—and inferior parents don't rationally assess whether or not the child is saying something truthful; instead, they tell the child to hush up, or words to that effect, or they simply don't listen to the child.

Essentially I'm saying that if you think the Bible isn't full of lies, you can't possibly be a good parent, because you can't distinguish between fantasy and reality about things that are obvious, and if you can't distinguish between fantasy and reality about things that are obvious, how are you going to make such distinctions among the many things that are not obvious in the lives of your children?

_Torah:_ Joseph asked for Pharaoh's permission to bring Israel back to Canaan to be buried. Pharaoh gave his permission. All of Pharaoh's officials went with Joseph.

_My note:_ All of Pharaoh's officials went with Joseph? Not likely, since some of them would be needed in Egypt.

_Torah:_ All of Joseph's family also went with Joseph, including his brothers and the rest of Israel's family. Only the children remained in Goshen. Men on chariots and horses also went with them.

After Joseph buried his father in Canaan, everyone returned to Egypt.

Now that Israel was dead, Joseph's brothers were worried that Joseph would punish them for all the sins they had committed against him. So they sent Joseph a message which said, "Before our father died, he told us to ask you to forgive us for all the bad things we did to you."

_My note:_ Did Israel really say this to Joseph's brothers? I don't see anywhere in the Bible where Israel said this, so it looks like Joseph's brothers are probably lying to Joseph.

More deception. And once again, there's nothing in the Bible which condemns these deceptions.

_Torah:_ When Joseph received the message from his brothers, he sobbed. Then his brothers came and bowed before him. They said, "We are your slaves."

Joseph replied, "You have nothing to fear. Do you think I'm God? You planned to hurt me, but God planned that good would occur. He wanted to save many lives. So don't be afraid. I'll take care of you and your children."

Joseph stayed with his family in Egypt. He lived 110 years. [ _My note:_ Another lie.]

_Torah:_ Joseph lived long enough to see his great grandchildren.

Before Joseph died, he told his brothers, "I will die soon, but I'm sure God will help you. He will bring you to the land he promised to give to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

Joseph made his brothers promise that when God came to help them, they would carry Joseph's bones from Egypt to the land God promised. Then he died. He was buried in Egypt.

_My note:_ Joseph was younger than all his brothers, other than Benjamin, so if his brothers outlived him, that means all the brothers (other than Benjamin) were older than 110 when Joseph was buried.

Another lie.

Also, when Israel and his sons moved to Egypt, they abandoned Canaan, which meant they gave up their rights to Canaan. But the fact is, no one had any right to any land back then, other than the rights which "might" gave them.

In the modern world, we want it to be different, in order to get some stability and peace, but the fact remains, anyone who can conquer land, and hold it against all comers, gets the land. Thus, if modern-day Palestinians conquer Israel, Israel then becomes Palestine again. The Jews in Israel say that now that they have the land, the rule should be different, but they keep expanding their territory, because they want one rule for themselves (we can take whatever land we want), and another rule for others (you can't take any of our land).

The rule should be the same all over the world, and if the rule should be that "might makes right", then no one has a right to anything except what they can take and keep against all contenders, which means all hells are permissible—and in the modern world, that is a prescription for death on a massive scale.

The Jews in modern Israel could do the noble thing, and return all of Palestine to the Palestinians, including all the land which is now Israel. They could do this by getting the U.S. to agree that all the Jews in Israel would be allowed to live in America, and automatically become U.S. citizens.

By doing this, all the Palestinian refugees would be able to return to Palestine, all the Jews in Israel would be moving to a place where their families are safe, and the Jews would gain a moral standing they don't now have, since they would be admitting wrongdoing where no group of people in their position has ever admitted wrongdoing (at least that I know about).

Is it true that Israel was established on land which was stolen from Palestinians?

Here's what David Ben-Gurion, Israel's first prime minister, said about the matter:

" _Why should the Arabs make peace [with Israel]? If I was an Arab leader I would never make terms with Israel. That is natural: we have taken their country.... There has been anti-Semitism, the Nazis, Hitler, Auschwitz, but was that their [the Arabs'] fault? They only see one thing: we have come here and stolen their country. Why should they accept that?"— David Ben-Gurion, Israel's first prime minister, as quoted in The Jewish Paradox by Nahum Goldmann, translated by Steve Cox, 1978, ISBN 0-448-15166-9._

The question is, what's more important to Israel's Jews? The land they live on, or their children and grandchildren—because right now, all Jews in Israel, including all Jewish children and grandchildren, are at risk of being injured or killed.

There are about 7.2 million people in Israel, about 80% of them Jews. Israel is surrounded by more than 150 million Muslims, most of whom support the Palestinians, or are sympathetic to them.

The only way the Jews can survive is to get support from the United States, or ultimately, use nuclear weapons. They can't use nuclear weapons until they have suffered sizable casualties, and once they use nuclear weapons, they may be doomed. Plus, the only way they'll continue to get support from the U.S. is to keep corrupting the American political process and distorting the truth for all Americans—and that's exactly the type of behavior which got them into trouble in Germany back in the period 1900-1932, and it's exactly the reason why Hitler hated them (most Americans don't know this, because the Jews in the American media don't want them to know this; however, only a few Jews corrupted the government and distorted the truth back in Germany, but all Jews in Germany paid for it; and the same thing could happen today to Jews in the United States, if circumstances shift in the wrong direction).

What happens when people in America finds out they've been duped by a small group of Jews? That could happen in a number of ways: (1) if America goes to war with Iran, and the world economy nosedives as a result; (2) if Israel goes to war with Iran, which would almost certainly mean that America would join in to protect Israel; (3) if the troubles in the Middle East otherwise drive up the cost of oil so severely that the world's economy is adversely affected; (4) if some terrorist organization gets a nuclear weapon, and uses it against America; (5) if the American economy shifts downward again; (6) if there is a successful cyber attack on the U.S. from a Muslim country that drives down the American economy; (7) if America loses many more of its freedoms because of its continuing support for Israel; (8) if China starts exercising more of its muscle, and gives people in the U.S. a psychological shock when they realize that the age of American preeminence is truly over and Americans start looking for a scapegoat; etc.

Furthermore, all of the Muslim countries in the Middle East are getting better weapons all the time. Iran now has cruise missiles, which it can sell to its allies in Syria, Hezbollah in Lebanon, and other Muslim countries in the area. And Hezbollah, Syria and other countries are getting better missiles, and better defense systems, so that any conventional attack by Israel could prove more costly to Israel than it has in the past.

But the Jews in Israel will never give up Israel. They would rather die than give up Israel, and especially, give up Jerusalem. So, they may get their preference. One major question is: Will they take American Jews with them to the slaughter?

If the Jews give up Israel and Jerusalem, that isn't as bad as it sounds, because the Jews can always get back some of the land, the old-fashioned way: once all the anger has settled down, they can buy the land, fair and square. In fact, before the Jews decided they wanted the land for themselves (even though two-thirds of the people who lived on the land were non-Jews), the Jews and Muslim got along much better than the Jews and the Christians in Europe. It was only when the Jews wanted to steal Muslim land that the trouble began between the Jews and the Muslims.

After World War II, President Truman was asked why he recognized the state of Israel so quickly. Truman replied that it was important for America to establish an alliance with our friends to defend us against our enemies in the Middle East. George Marshall said to Truman, "Mr. President, before the state of Israel we didn't have any enemies in the Middle East."

Every honest Jewish person knows that the Jews stole Palestine from the Palestinians, so if you're talking to a Jewish person who says that the Jews didn't steal Palestine from the Palestinians, you know you're talking to a liar, or someone who is delusional.

But the mainstream U.S. media won't tell you that, because the mainstream U.S. media is run by people who want to program people's minds and get Americans to do what the media wants. (In other words, in the land of Oz known as the United States, the people behind the curtain—the people who control what most people see, hear and believe—are those who control the mainstream media.)

EXODUS

**[EXODUS 1]**

_Torah:_ As the years went by, Joseph's brothers died, and all their children died. Yet Israel had many descendants in Egypt. There were so many that they formed a large part of the population.

Then a new Pharaoh came to power. He knew nothing of Joseph and his family. He said, "There are too many Israelites. We must handle them carefully. If we don't, they'll continue to increase their numbers. Then, if a war starts, they'll join our enemies."

_My note:_ Many of today's Jews in Israel are saying the same thing right now about the Palestinians. They're saying there are too many Palestinians living inside Israel, and they must be handled carefully, because if Israel doesn't handle them carefully, they'll increase in numbers and, if a war starts, they'll be on the side of Israel's enemies.

The Palestinians living inside Israel are second-class citizens. Israel likes to call itself a democracy, but its so-called democracy allows discrimination against Arabs in many ways. Some have even called it a system of apartheid.

If the Jews were smart, they would be leading the world into a better age, rather than keeping it immersed in oppression, degradation and savagery.

_Torah:_ So the Egyptians made the Israelites their slaves. They put slave drivers in charge of them. The slave drivers beat the Israelites and made them work hard. But the more the slave drivers beat them, the more the Israelite population grew. So the Egyptians feared the Israelites even more. They forced the Israelites to work with mud and bricks. They made them work in the fields. The Egyptians showed them no mercy.

The Israelites were also known as Hebrews. There were two Hebrew women, Shiprah and Puah, who were midwives ["midwives" are women who help other women who are giving birth]. Pharaoh talked to them and told them, "Watch the Hebrew women when they get into a sitting position to have their babies. Let the baby girls live, but kill the boys."

_My note:_ Later, in Exodus 12:29, it says that Yahweh killed the firstborn sons of the Egyptians, so I suppose that was doing unto Egyptian baby boys what the Egyptians were doing—or trying to do—to the Israelite baby boys.

It's interesting that the Hebrew women got into a sitting position to have their babies. Does anyone do that now? Would it be better to do it that way?

_Torah:_ Shiprah and Puah wouldn't do what Pharaoh ordered them to do. They had respect for God. They let the boys live. They told Pharaoh, "The Hebrew women are stronger than the Egyptian women. They have their babies before we even get there."

Because they respected God, God was kind to Shiprah and Puah. He gave them families of their own. And the Hebrews had more and more children.

Then Pharaoh told his people, "From now on, you must throw all Hebrew boys into the Nile River. But you can let the baby girls live."

_My note:_ Is this a good thing to be teaching children, that a leader of a country wants to throw babies into a river to kill them? Doesn't it scare children, that such things can happen? Wouldn't it be better not to teach these things to children until they get older? Can't this help make children paranoid? And how does it affect Jewish children? Doesn't it have a profound effect on them, knowing that at an early age their lives could be snuffed out so cavalierly? And add to that the horrors of the Holocaust, and some Jewish children must believe that the world is a horribly unsafe place.

Believing that the world is a horribly unsafe place causes people to behave in certain ways that could create the very horrors they seek to avoid. Add to that all the dishonesty and deceitfulness engaged in by the founders of Judaism, and the fact that, in the Torah, such dishonesty and deceitfulness is rarely condemned and is often rewarded, and you have lessons which can lead, ultimately, to the very disasters that the Jews want to prevent.

[EXODUS 2]

_Torah:_ A married man and woman from the tribe of Levi had a son [who was later named Moses]. The mother saw that her child was fine and healthy. She hid him for three months. When she could no longer hide him, she put him in a basket that was made of grass and coated with tar. Then she put the basket in the tall grass that grew along the bank of the Nile River. The child's sister watched from a distance to see what would happen to the child.

Pharaoh's daughter went to the river to take a bath. She saw the basket in the tall grass, so she had one of her female slaves get it.

When Pharaoh's daughter opened the basket, she saw the baby. He was crying. "He must be one of the Hebrew babies," she said.

The boy's sister approached Pharaoh's daughter. "Do you want me to get one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?" she asked.

"Yes," said Pharaoh's daughter. "Go get one." So the girl went and got the baby's mother.

Pharaoh's daughter said to the woman, "Take this baby and nurse him for me. I'll pay you."

So the woman [Moses' mother] took the baby from Pharaoh's daughter and nursed him.

When the child grew older, Moses' mother took him to Pharaoh's daughter. The child became her son. She said, "I pulled him out of the water, so his name will be Moses." [Moses sounds like the Hebrew expression for "pull out".]

One day after Moses grew up, he went to where the Hebrews lived. He watched how hard they worked. Then he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew man. The Hebrew man was one of Moses' own people.

Moses looked around. He didn't see anyone else, so he killed the Egyptian. Afterwards, he buried the body in the sand.

Moses went out again the next day. He saw two Hebrew men beating each other. He said to the one who started the fight, "Why are you hitting another Hebrew?"

The man replied, "Who are you to judge us? Are you going to kill me the same way you killed the Egyptian?"

This scared Moses. He thought people must have heard what he had done.

When Pharaoh heard that Moses had killed an Egyptian, he tried to kill Moses, but Moses escaped and went to Midian. When he got there, he sat down near a well.

A priest named Jethro lived in Midian. He had seven daughters. They were tending their father's flock. They came to the well to get water for the flock. Some shepherds tried to drive the women off, but Moses stood up and helped them. Then he helped give water to their flock.

When the women returned to their father, he asked, "Why did you return so early today?"

"An Egyptian protected us from the shepherds," they replied. "He even got us water for the flock."

"Where is he?" Jethro asked. "Invite him here to have something to eat."

Moses came to Jethro's house. After he agreed to stay, Jethro gave Moses his daughter Zipporah to be Moses' wife. Zipporah got pregnant by Moses and had a son. Moses named him Gersham.

After many years, Pharaoh died. Meanwhile, the Hebrews cried out to God because of all the pain they were suffering as slaves.

God heard their cries. He remembered his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

_My note:_ When it says that Jethro gave one of his daughters to Moses, it again treats females like they are property.

And where was Yahweh all this time, as the Israelites were suffering as slaves? Was he off visiting another planet? He certainly was no help to the Israelites for hundreds of years.

Yahweh often abandoned the Israelites in their time of need, century after century, for more than 3000 years—but the Israelites have been trained to believe that when their god abandons them, it's their fault, not the fault of their god. But even if some Jews do something wrong, why should all Jews pay for the wrongdoing? That's not fair.

If Yahweh is unfair, why should people worship him? And, if he actually exists, why doesn't he come out and say hi to people? Is he pathologically shy?

If I was a god, I wouldn't be hanging around with a bunch of dead people above the clouds. I'd be down here on earth, where there's beautiful women all over the place.

Imagine how easy it would be to get a date, if you had a valid I.D. that said you were God? You know how some women are. They find out you're God, and they start thinking, "God owns the entire universe. I bet if I play my cards right, I can at least get a planet out of this guy."

[EXODUS 3]

_Torah:_ One day, Moses was taking care of Jethro's flock. Moses led the flock to Mount Sinai. Mount Sinai was the mountain of God.

At Mount Sinai, an angel of God appeared to Moses from inside a burning bush. Moses noticed that the bush was on fire, but it wasn't consumed in the flames. Moses thought to himself, "I have to go see this unusual sight. I wonder why the bush doesn't burn up."

God saw Moses looking at the burning bush, so God spoke to Moses from inside the bush. He called, "Moses! Moses!"

"I am here," said Moses.

God [or the authors, pretending there's a god] said, "Don't come any closer. The place where you are standing is sacred ground. Take off your sandals."

God continued, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

Moses looked away. He was afraid to look at God.

_My note:_ Why did Yahweh speak from inside the bush? Why didn't he just walk over to Moses and introduce himself? What is this god's problem?

It's always possible that this was like "Candid Camera", without the camera, because there were no cameras back then. Maybe a couple of kids were playing a joke on Moses.

To the best of my knowledge, there has never been a proven instance in the modern world of a shrub talking, because modern shrubs can't talk, but maybe shrubs back then could talk. Maybe they also knew how to play ice hockey.

Of course, maybe this whole story was created to impress very superstitious and ignorant people. The only way this works today is to take perfectly normal, healthy children and teach them how to be superstitious and ignorant.

If a person today told a psychiatrist that he talked to a burning bush, and the bush talked back to him, and the bush said it was God, and the person believed the bush, the psychiatrist would write: "hallucinations, hearing voices, delusions of grandeur, paranoia, psychotic thinking". The person might even be given what Moses was later given at the top of Mount Sinai: a couple of tablets.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said, "I saw my people suffering in Egypt. I heard them crying out because of their cruel slave masters. I am worried about their suffering, so I came to save them. I will bring them out of Egypt to a good land, a land that has much milk and honey. It is the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, and others."

_My note:_ If Yahweh was so powerful, why didn't he let the Israelites stay in Egypt and take over Egypt from the Egyptians? Why did he make them go through so much grief to get to a new land (for example, they spent 40 years in the desert)?

And while there are people who will say they know the answer to this question, there's no way they can know the answer, so if they say they know, you know they are guessing, or lying.

Also, Yahweh says that the land he will give to the Israelites "is the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, and others." So Yahweh acknowledges that he is going to steal the land of other people to give to the Israelites, which means Yahweh is admitting to being a thief.

Is it good to worship a god who's a thief? Plus, he killed far more people than Jack the Ripper.

You wouldn't worship Jack the Ripper, would you?

Then why do you worship someone who is even worse?

_Torah:_ God then said to Moses, "The elders of the Israelites will listen to you. You and the elders must go to Pharaoh and tell him, 'The God of the Hebrews has met with us. We want to go to the desert to offer him sacrifices.'"

_My note:_ Why doesn't Yahweh go and talk to Pharaoh himself?

As the Torah continues, you'll see that there's a lot of evidence that Moses was just pretending there was a god, and there actually was no god. Moses made the whole thing up—if Moses himself even existed.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "But I know Pharaoh won't let you go. Only a powerful hand could make him do that. So, I will strike the Egyptians with many miracles. After that, he'll let you go."

God continued [allegedly], "I will force the Egyptians to treat you kindly. When you leave Egypt, you will take the wealth of Egypt with you. You will have silver, gold and fine clothing."

_My note:_ Why does Yahweh go to all the trouble of allegedly performing miracles? Why the big rigamarole, if he knows the miracles won't work?

Maybe he can't get it right the first time because he's a new god, so all this stuff is new to him, so he's going to try out different things to see what works.

Then again, why doesn't he just whack Pharaoh in the head and say, "Let my people go, or I'll cut off your private parts?" That's what a Mafia godfather might have done.

Doesn't that mean a Mafia godfather is more powerful, or smarter, than Yahweh?

[EXODUS 4]

_Torah:_ Moses asked God, "What if the elders of Israel don't believe me? What if they don't listen to me? What should I do then?"

God said [allegedly], "Take the wooden staff in your hand and throw it on the ground."

Moses did. It turned into a snake. Moses ran from it.

Then God said, "Reach out and grab the snake by its tail."

Moses did. It turned into a wooden staff again.

_My note:_ Remember, now, that Moses is up on top of the mountain, talking to a shrub. There were a couple of kids nearby, watching Moses talking to the shrub, and one of them put his finger to the side of his head and made a circular motion, indicating that Moses was crazy.

Also, if the incident with the snake actually happened, it was probably a trick Moses learned when he was living in Pharaoh's house, where there were a lot of magicians.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] then said, "When the elders see this miraculous sign [the staff turning into a snake], they will believe you saw me."

Then God said, "Put your hand inside your coat."

Moses did. When he took his hand out, it was white, like snow. It had a skin disease.

God said, "Put it back inside your coat."

Moses did. When he took it back out, his hand was healthy again.

_My note:_ Once again, this was probably a trick Moses learned when living in Pharaoh's house, if it even happened at all.

_Torah:_ Then God said [allegedly], "If they don't believe the first miracle, maybe they'll believe the second one."

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-knowing, he would know whether they were going to believe the first miracle.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If they don't believe either of those two miracles, get some water from the Nile River. Pour it on the ground. The water will turn to blood."

Moses said, "God, I've never been good as a speaker. I'm still no good."

God said, "Who makes a person a good speaker? Who makes a person able to see, or makes him blind, or makes him able to hear, or not hear? I do. So go. I'll help you speak, and I'll tell you what to say."

_My note:_ The underlined part of the above passage reminds me of the lion in the "Wizard of Oz", where the lion says, "What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk, in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? Courage!"

[The lion continues, "What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the 'ape' in 'apricot'? What have they got that I ain't got?"

[Dorothy and the others reply, loudly, "Courage!"]

_Torah:_ But Moses said, "God, please send someone else."

God became angry. "What about your brother Aaron?" said God. "He can speak well. He is already coming to meet you. He'll be glad to see you. Speak with him. Tell him what to say. I'll help both of you speak. He will speak to the people for you, and you will be like God to him...."

_My note:_ Why does Yahweh say, "... you will be like God to him"? Doesn't that further suggest there was no real god?

It's worth remembering that the Pharaohs were gods, and Moses allegedly grew up in the home of a Pharaoh, so he probably wasn't impressed too much by Pharaohs who were gods, since he knew them personally, and he knew they had weaknesses and imperfections—that they were just pretending to be all-powerful.

_Torah:_ God [the talking shrub] then told Moses [allegedly]: "Go back to Egypt. All those who wanted to kill you are dead."

Moses went to his father-in-law Jethro and said to him: "Let me go back to my people in Egypt to see if any of them are still alive."

Jethro said, "Go, and I hope things go well for you."

Moses put his wife and sons on a donkey and they started for Egypt. Moses also took his wooden staff.

God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "When you return to Egypt, do all the miracles I told you about. Let Pharaoh see them. But I will make his heart stubborn, and he will not let the Israelites go."

_My note:_ Once again, if Yahweh is going to make Pharaoh's heart stubborn, why should Moses go through all the trouble of doing the miracles? It makes no sense—unless you talk to a rabbi, minister or priest. To them, all kinds of things that don't make sense DO make sense. And they're often very confident when they explain things, and most people have been trained to listen politely and be agreeable when confident people explain things, even if the explanations make no more sense than the original thing that made no sense.

There's an author, David Freedman, who wrote a book called "Wrong", which talks about how a lot of things that we're told are true are actually false, even if the person telling us those things is a so-called "expert", such as a doctor. Below is an excerpt from an interview Freedman had with _Time Magazine_ :

Time Magazine: You say brain scans show that when presented with expert advice, we actually lose our ability to make our own decisions.

Freedman: Yes.... But for what it's worth, people have actually looked at this question of what happens to brain activity when people are given expert advice, and sure enough, you see that the brain activity dies out in a way that suggests the person is thinking for themselves less. The brain actually shuts down a bit in the face of expert advice. When we hear an expert, we surrender our own judgment.

Time Magazine: So we essentially just blindly follow experts?

Freedman: That's exactly what it is. And there are certain experts who, not only is their advice very resonant, but they themselves are very resonant. Some experts project tremendous confidence. They have marvelous credentials. They can be very charismatic — sometimes their voice just projects it. Some experts get very, very good at this stuff. And what do you know? It really sort of lulls us into accepting what they say. It can take a while to actually think about it and realize their advice makes no sense at all.

End of excerpt.

_My note:_ That certainly helps to explain how the world works, doesn't it? And it helps to explain the success of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Bernie Madoff, and many others.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Then tell Pharaoh that God says, 'The Israelites are like an oldest son to me. I told you to let my son go. Then he can worship me. But you wouldn't let him go, so I am going to kill your oldest son.'"

_My note:_ If Moses told Pharaoh that Yahweh was going to kill Pharaoh's oldest son, wouldn't Pharaoh kill Moses on the spot?

_Torah:_ On his journey to Egypt, when Moses stopped one night, God met him and was going to kill him

_My note:_ This also makes no sense. The Bible doesn't say why Yahweh was going to kill Moses, so the question is, why was Yahweh going to kill him (if in fact it's true, which it probably isn't).

But wait! Rabbis, ministers and priests know the answer to this one, too. They know everything, because they are... all-knowing!

Of course, some scientists are just as bad, because they think they are all-knowing. In fact, the word "science" comes from Latin "scire", which means "to know".

Are scientists the new all-knowing gods? Some of them want you to believe that.

A couple of other things.

First, how did the talking shrub make it down off the mountain and catch up to Moses as he was heading to Egypt?

Second, how does a talking shrub kill a person?

Hey, maybe the shrub was on a chariot, and it circled Moses, and it was going to run him down. Or maybe this god has an entire army of shrubs, and they all have bows and arrows, and they're going to shoot hundreds of arrows into Moses. Then they'll have a big celebration, with shrubs cooking meat around the campfires, and female shrubs will come into the camp and make love to the shrub warriors.

_Torah:_ But Moses' wife, Zipporah, got a knife made of stone and circumcised her son with it. Then she touched Moses' feet with the skin she had cut from her son.

"You forced me to spill my own son's blood," she said.

As a result, God didn't kill Moses.

_My note:_ Now let's get this straight. Yahweh, presumably still dressed up like a talking shrub, was about to kill Moses, so Zipporah whips out a knife, whips out her baby boy's penis, cuts off the foreskin, then takes the foreskin over to Moses and touches his feet with the bloody foreskin.

Does that make any sense?

Moses and his wife sound more like the Charles Manson family than like founders of a great nation.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] then told Aaron, "Go to the desert to see Moses." So Aaron met Moses at the mountain of God and kissed him.

Moses told Aaron everything God had told him to say. He also told Aaron about all the miracles God had ordered him to do.

Moses and Aaron gathered together all the elders of Israel. Aaron told them everything God had told Moses. Aaron also did the miracles in front of everyone, so they believed him. They bowed down to God and worshipped him, for he had seen their suffering and he was concerned about them.

_My note:_ Once again, just because the Bible said these things happened doesn't mean they actually happened. Plus, if some of them did happen, there's a good chance that the elders of Israel weren't as knowledgeable about tricks (i.e., miracles) as Moses would have been, because they didn't grow up in Pharaoh's palace, where the magicians were.

[EXODUS 5]

_Torah:_ Later, Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and told him, "Our Lord is the God of the Israelites. He told us to tell you, 'Let my people go. Then they can go to the desert to hold a feast in my honor.'"

They continued, "It's only for three days. If we don't go, God might strike us with plagues, or let us be put to death by the sword."

Pharaoh replied, "Who is this god? Why should I obey what he says? Why should I let the Israelites go? I don't know this god, and I won't let the Israelites go."

_My note:_ Pharaoh makes sense. Much of what Moses does and says makes NO sense.

_Torah:_ Pharaoh continued, "Why are you taking the Israelites from their work? They must return to work."

Later that day, Pharaoh told the slave drivers, "Don't give the Israelites any more straw for them to make bricks. They can get their own straw. But order them to make as many bricks as before. That will make them work harder. Then they will be too busy to listen to all these lies."

The slave drivers did as they were told, so the Israelites had to search all over Egypt to gather what little straw was left in the fields.

The slave drivers kept making the Israelites work very hard. Then they started whipping the Israelite leaders who were in charge of the other Israelites.

The Israelites leaders asked Pharaoh, "Why do you treat us like this? You said, 'Make bricks', but you didn't give us any straw, so it's the fault of your own people that we're making fewer bricks."

Pharaoh said, "You just don't want to work. We still won't give you any straw, but you must still make the same number of bricks."

When the Israelite leaders left Pharaoh, Moses and Aaron were waiting to meet them. The Israelite leaders said, "We want God to see what you have done. We are like a very bad smell to Pharaoh and his officials. Now they have an excuse to kill us with swords."

Moses returned to God. He said to him, "Lord, why did you bring such trouble on these people? I went to Pharaoh and spoke in your name. Ever since, the Israelites have been in a worse way than before. You haven't protected your people at all."

_My note:_ When Moses returned to Yahweh, was Yahweh still dressed up like a talking shrub?

Also, Yahweh supposedly told Moses to do many things. Why doesn't Yahweh, or some other god, tell people to do things today? Did someone put a muzzle on Yahweh thousands of years ago?

And even if Yahweh did tell people to do certain things today, most other people wouldn't believe that the person had talked with a god. In fact, among some psychiatrists, there's a fair chance that if someone said, "God told me to do such and such", that person might be deemed delusional or psychotic (although psychiatrists are very careful about this; if you say God told you to do something, you might be okay, because the psychiatrists don't want to butt heads with religious leaders; but if you said that the Easter Bunny told you to do something, you could be in trouble).

[EXODUS 6]

_Torah:_ God replied, "Now you'll see what I'll do to Pharaoh. Because of my powerful hand, he'll let the Israelites go. I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I made a covenant with them. I promised to give them the land of Canaan. So tell the Israelites I will throw off the burden the Egyptians put on their shoulders. I will free them from slavery. I will bring them to the land I promised."

Moses told these things to the Israelites, but they didn't listen to him. They had lost all hope and had to work very hard.

_My note:_ Yahweh sounds like an American presidential candidate, making promises he won't be able to keep. And the truth was, almost none of the Israelites who left Egypt made it to the promised land. (For example, in Exodus 12, it says the Israelites had 600,000 men when they left Egypt. By the time they got to the promised land of Canaan, there were only two of those men left, Joshua and Caleb.)

Which means...?

It means that 599,998 of the men either took off, died, or were killed.

That's about the worst success rate of any leader in history. That's nearly 100% casualties. (To be more precise, it's a 99.9996667% casualty rate.)

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses, "Tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave Egypt."

Moses replied, "Even the Israelites won't listen to me, so why would Pharaoh listen to me?"

_My note:_ Good point, Moses. But why does Moses repeatedly argue with Yahweh? Obviously, Moses himself doesn't think Yahweh is all-knowing, or all-powerful.

[EXODUS 7]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said, "I will multiply my miraculous signs in Egypt. But I will make Pharaoh's heart stubborn...."

_My note:_ Why would Yahweh make Pharaoh's heart stubborn? If he can make Pharaoh's heart stubborn, presumably he can make Pharaoh's heart agreeable. So why is Yahweh playing these games?

Once again, this whole thing sounds like a big lie, and Moses never talked to any god.

If Yahweh really had any power, he could just walk up to Pharaoh, grab him by the throat, lift him up in the air, and scare him half to death. Instead, this god always hides so no one can see him, he lets other people do his work for him, and when things don't go right—and most of the time they don't—he bumbles onto something else.

He's really a very inept god.

_Torah:_ God also told Moses and Aaron [allegedly], "Pharaoh will tell you to do a miracle. When he does, Aaron should throw down his wooden staff in front of Pharaoh. It will become a snake."

At the time, Moses was 80 years old. Aaron was 83.

_My note:_ Moses 80? Aaron 83? Sure they were. And later, they wandered for 40 years in the desert, and climbed mountains, played in the world soccer cup finals, and swam across the Atlantic Ocean underwater, holding their breath all the way. Sure, I believe all that. With God, anything is possible.

And what's this thing with the staff turning into a snake? Is that the best trick Yahweh could come up with? Can't he levitate a camel? That might impress Pharaoh. In fact, if Yahweh was all-powerful, he should be able to turn sand into gold, then give the gold to Pharaoh to let the Israelites leave. But he didn't do that because he wasn't all-powerful.

_Torah:_ When they came before Pharaoh, Moses and Aaron did exactly what God had ordered. Aaron threw down his staff in front of Pharaoh and his officials. It turned into a snake.

Pharaoh sent for his wise men and those who do evil magic. Each of the Egyptian magicians threw down his own staff, and each staff turned into a snake. But Aaron's snake swallowed up the other snakes.

_My note:_ See? Just a magic trick, if it happened at all.

_Torah:_ **[water to blood]**

Pharaoh's heart remained stubborn. He wouldn't listen to Moses and Aaron, just as God had said.

Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "In the morning, Pharaoh will go down to the Nile River. Meet him there. Take your wooden staff. Tell Pharaoh that the God of the Israelites sent you, and that God says, 'Let my people go.'

"Also tell Pharaoh, 'Here is how you will know I am God. I will strike the water of the Nile River with my staff. The water will turn to blood. The fish will die and the river will stink. The Egyptians won't be able to drink the water.'"

Then God told Moses [allegedly], "Tell Aaron to get his staff and put his hand out over the waters of Egypt. All the water in the streams, ponds and lakes will turn to blood. The blood will even be in the wooden buckets and stone jars."

Aaron did this. The fish in the Nile died. The river smelled so bad that no one could drink the water. All the Egyptians had to dig holes near the river to get water.

But the Egyptian magicians also turned water to blood by doing their magic tricks, so Pharaoh remained stubborn....

_My note:_ Aaron did his magic tricks, and the Egyptian magicians "also turned water to blood by doing their magic tricks." So the Bible clearly suggests that it's magic tricks that caused the water to turn to blood.

Also, the death of all the fish, if it actually happened, was probably a natural phenomenon, or else Aaron and the Egyptian magicians all knew the same magic tricks. Plus, there's no way to know whether this ever happened like the Bible says. But rabbis, ministers and priests will tell you that it did happen, it did, it did, it did, so now they sound like the Cowardly Lion in _The Wizard of Oz_ , where he says, "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do..."

[EXODUS 8 — frogs, gnats, flies]

_Torah:_ Seven days later, God told Moses [allegedly], "Tell Pharaoh that if he refuses to let my people go, I will send frogs to cover his whole country. The Nile River will be full of them. They'll come into his palace—even into his bedroom and his bed. They'll also be in his ovens and his bread pans."

_My note:_ Poisonous snakes, spiders or even scorpions would have been better than frogs. Frogs aren't scary, they're just annoying.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] then told Moses, "Tell Aaron to put his hand out over the streams, lakes and ponds to make the frogs cover Egypt."

Moses told Aaron, and Aaron did what God had ordered. The frogs covered the land. But the Egyptian magicians did the same thing with their magic tricks.

_My note:_ Why would the Egyptian magicians cause frogs to cover the land? Did they also have a grievance against Pharaoh?

It makes no sense. Either the Egyptian magicians were just as unimaginative as Yahweh, or the frogs, like the dead fish, were merely a natural phenomenon which occurred not because of Yahweh, or because of Moses or Aaron, or because of the Egyptian magicians; the frogs appeared because the spirits who control the underworld caused them to appear. Those ancient spirits were led by the ancient Egyptian spirit frog, Kermit.

_Torah:_ Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. He said, "Ask your god to take the frogs away. Then I'll let the Israelites leave so they can make sacrifices to their god."

Moses and Aaron left Pharaoh and prayed to God to take the frogs away. God killed the frogs. The Egyptians put the frogs in piles. The piles gave off a great stench. But when Pharaoh saw that the frogs were dead, his heart became stubborn again, and he refused to let the Israelites go.

Then God sent gnats to cover Egypt, its people and its animals.

Still, Pharaoh remained stubborn.

Then God sent flies which poured into Pharaoh's palace and the homes of his officials.

That didn't change Pharaoh's mind, either.

_My note:_ Note to future terrorists: frogs, gnats and flies don't work. Try something else. And the gnats and flies, like the frogs and dead fish, were probably natural phenomena which may not have occurred in the sequence described. They may all have been part of a big story by Moses to try to convince later Israelites, and people who worshipped other gods, that the Israelite god was an especially powerful god, even though the Israelite god, in so many ways, comes across as not very powerful at all.

If Moses really wanted to impress Pharaoh, he could have cut off Aaron's head, held it by the hair, waved it around a bit, then put the head back onto Aaron's body. Once Aaron got up and started speaking again, then Pharaoh would have been mightily impressed, because none of his magicians would know how to do that trick, and in fact, not even modern doctors can do something like that, although perhaps they will be able to twenty years from now. But Moses didn't do that because Yahweh didn't know how to do that trick, because Yahweh didn't exist.

If people believe Yahweh exists, even though he doesn't, that makes them delusional—and there's no pill in the world that can rid them of that delusion.

Since most American presidents claim to believe in Yahweh, that makes them all delusional, which means mentally ill. So you can see how the proper inculcation at an early age can turn millions of healthy children into mentally ill adults.

But if the majority of American adults believe in Yahweh, and thus are mentally ill, is there anything that can bring them back to reality?

Maybe not, because the Jewish and Christian clergy don't want them back in reality, so they'll do whatever it takes to keep believers mentally ill.

[EXODUS 9 — plague to kill livestock; boils; hailstorm]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] sent a plague to kill all the livestock of the Egyptians, but no animal that belonged to the Israelites died.

Still, Pharaoh's heart remained stubborn.

Next, God told Moses and Aaron [allegedly] that Moses should shake some dust from a furnace and throw it into the air in front of Pharaoh. Moses did. Boils broke out on the bodies of all the Egyptians and their animals. The Egyptian magicians were also covered with boils.

Still, Pharaoh's heart remained stubborn.

_My note:_ Additional note to future terrorists: livestock plagues and boils also don't work. (In America, you could bring down the whole country if you could somehow cut off all television programs. Most Americans can't live without their television shows, and they would quickly surrender the entire country to get the shows back on.)

Also, if Pharaoh and his officials thought that Moses, by shaking some dust from a furnace, caused the boils to break out on the bodies of all the Egyptians and their animals, wouldn't they kill Moses?

You see? It doesn't make sense.

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses [allegedly], "Go to Pharaoh. Tell him if he doesn't let my people go, I'll send Egypt the worst hailstorm it has ever seen. Tell the Israelites to bring their livestock inside safe places. The hail will fall on all the people and animals who are left outside, and they will die."

Moses went and told this to Pharaoh.

The officials of Pharaoh who had respect for the Israelite god brought their slaves and livestock inside. Those who ignored the Israelite god left their slaves and livestock outside.

_My note:_ A few paragraphs back, it says that Yahweh sent a plague that killed all the livestock of the Egyptians, so what happened here? Where did these new Egyptian livestock come from? Was all of their livestock killed before the hailstorm, or not? And why can't the author get his stories straight?

If the Bible is the word of Yahweh, why can't Yahweh get the story straight?

The all-powerful and all-knowing god of the Israelites could have bypassed all these ineffectual tricks simply by giving Moses some fully-loaded M-16's, but the all-powerful and all-knowing god of the Israelites didn't know how to make an M-16. He didn't even know how to make a popsicle.

What kind of god doesn't know how to make a popsicle?

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses [allegedly], "Reach your hand out to the sky. Then hail will fall throughout Egypt."

Moses did. Immediately, God sent thunder and hail. It was the worst storm in Egypt's history. The only place it didn't hail was Goshen, where the Israelites lived....

Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. "This time I have sinned," said Pharaoh. "God has done the right thing. Pray to your God to stop the thunder and hail. I'll let you and your people go."

Moses said, "Once I leave the city, I'll pray to God for the thunder and hail to stop. When they do, you'll know that the earth belongs to God...."

Then Moses left the city. He lifted up his hands to God. The thunder and hail stopped, and the rain.

_My note:_ Of course, we don't know what really happened. Maybe there wasn't even a hailstorm, and this is just another Biblical lie. Or maybe there was a hailstorm, but it was going to stop sooner or later, whether Moses put up his hands or not. And even if there was a hailstorm, we don't know what Pharaoh's officials did, or what Pharaoh did, because as we have already seen, the Bible is full of lies.

You might want to try this experiment. The next time it rains, keep putting your hands up toward the sky and say, "Stop, rain! Stop, rain!", and usually in a day or less, the rain will stop.

If the rain stops, does that mean you stopped the rain?

_Torah:_ Pharaoh saw that the thunder and hail had stopped, so he and his officials made their hearts stubborn again. He still wouldn't let the Israelites go.

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-knowing, he would have known this was going to happen.

[EXODUS 10 — locusts; darkness]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses to tell Pharaoh that if he didn't let the Israelites go, God would send locusts to eat the Egyptians' food and fill their homes. So Moses and Aaron went and told this to Pharaoh and his officials.

_My note:_ At this point, any self-respecting Pharaoh would have said, "Who the hell let these lunatics back in here? They're threatening us with locusts now? The locusts are going to come anyway. Why don't you put these clowns out in the fields to make bricks. Better yet, stone them to death."

_Torah:_ Pharaoh's officials told Pharaoh he should let the Israelites go, so Pharaoh called Moses and Aaron back and asked them who would go with them.

Moses said, "All our people, plus our flocks and herds. We are supposed to hold a feast in honor of our God."

Pharaoh said, "If you want everyone to go, obviously you are planning to do something bad. I won't let everyone go. Only the men can go."

Then Pharaoh had Moses and Aaron leave.

God told Moses [allegedly], "Raise your hand over Egypt. It will be covered with locusts. They will eat everything that grows in the fields."

So Moses raised his wooden staff over Egypt, and God made a wind blow over the land.

The next morning, the locusts came to every part of Egypt. There had never been so many locusts before. They ate everything that was growing in the fields, and all the fruit on the trees.

_My note:_ Since the locusts come periodically anyway, how can anyone prove it's a god who made them come?

_Torah:_ Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. He said, "I have sinned against you and your God. Now, forgive me my sin. Take these locusts away."

Moses left Pharaoh and prayed to God. A strong wind picked up the locusts and blew them all into the Red Sea. Not one was left.

_My note:_ Locusts always stay for just a short period of time, then leave, so their leaving had nothing to do with Moses.

But what do you think is going to happen now?

_Torah:_ Once again, God made Pharaoh's heart stubborn, and he wouldn't let the Israelites go.

God then told Moses [allegedly], "Put your hand toward the sky. Darkness will spread throughout Egypt."

_My note:_ At this point, you think Moses would have said, "Look, Yahweh, you don't know what the hell you're doing. Nothing you've told me yet has worked. Why don't you quit bothering me? Get lost, okay?"

And of course, there are many religious people who KNOW why Yahweh kept telling Moses to do things that didn't work. But since they can't possibly know what Yahweh was thinking, or what really happened, they are phonies.

Appearing honest and confident is a good way to earn someone's trust so you can rape their children.

_Torah:_ Moses put his hand toward the sky, as God had told him. It became completely dark for three days. But the Israelites still had light.

_My note:_ Sure. I believe that.

Here's how it happened. Yahweh flew into the sky on his magic carpet and moved a big sheet of steel between the sun and the earth, but he left a hole in the sheet of steel directly above Goshen, where the Israelites lived, and Yahweh kept moving the piece of steel so the hole would always be directly between Goshen and the sun as the earth turned, which is why the Israelites still had light.

There was one close call, though, when a flock of geese came flying by and they landed on the piece of steel, and one of them sat on the hole because it had to go poop, but Yahweh was able to shoo it away before the Israelites began shouting, "Where did the sun go?"

_Torah:_ Pharaoh sent for Moses. He said, "Go and worship your God. Take your women and children. Just don't take your flocks and herds."

Moses said, "We need the animals to make sacrifices and burnt offerings to God. We can't leave a single animal behind. We won't know until we are there what animals we will need to sacrifice."

Once again, God made Pharaoh's heart stubborn. He wouldn't let the Israelites go. He told Moses, "Don't ever come to see me again. If you do, you will die."

_My note:_ Obviously, Pharaoh knew Moses was lying about coming back. Moses lied all the time, which is a big difference from what Jesus did.

Does that mean that Moses is setting a bad example for children?

[EXODUS 11]

_Torah:_ Moses said to Pharaoh, "I won't come to see you again."

_My note:_ Pharaoh replied, "Now THAT would be a miracle."

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "I will bring one more plague to the Egyptians. After that, Pharaoh will let the Israelites go."

God continued, "Tell the Israelite men and women to ask their neighbors for anything made of silver or gold."

God caused the Egyptians to treat the Israelites kindly....

_My note:_ The Egyptians treated the Israelites kindly? After all the plagues that Moses sent?

That's not believable.

_Torah:_ Moses went back to Pharaoh. He told Pharaoh, "God said to me, 'About midnight I will go throughout Egypt. Every oldest Egyptian son will die. Pharaoh's oldest son will die. Even the oldest son of female slaves will die. All the firstborn male cattle will die. There will be loud wailing throughout Egypt, worse than ever before. Never again will such widespread wailing be heard. But among the Israelites, not even a dog will bark at man or animal.' Then you will know that God treats Egyptians differently from Israelites."

Moses continued, "All your officials will bow down to me. They will tell me to leave, and take all my followers with me. Then I will leave."

Moses was full of anger when he left Pharaoh.

_My note:_ It's hard to believe that Moses made such a speech to Pharaoh. Wouldn't Pharaoh put him to death for making such a speech?

It's probably another tall tale by the authors of this part of the Torah, trying to make Moses look like a big shot. The Jews still do this, by making Einstein look like the greatest scientist in history, even though he spent most of his adult life fixated on an erroneous view of physics by denying quantum theory.

And how is it that among the Israelites, "not even a dog will bark at man or animal" when all the Egyptian children are being put to death by Yahweh?

What about the Egyptian dogs? Did they bark when the Egyptian children were being killed? If so, did they bark at Yahweh, or did they bark at the Israelites themselves, who may be the real killers of the Egyptian children?

Not long ago, in the Israeli newspaper "Haaretz", it talked about a rabbi of a government-funded school in Israel who says it's permissible to kill gentile babies "because their presence assists murder, and there is reason to harm children if it is clear that they will grow up to harm us... it is permissible to harm the children of a leader in order to stop him from acting evilly... we have seen in the Halakha that even babies of gentiles who do not violate the seven Noahide laws, there is cause to kill them because of the future threat that will be caused if they are raised to be wicked people like their parents."

How many Israeli Jewish children are taught this point of view? Isn't this the natural extension of celebrating Passover?

If some Muslim cleric expressed an identical view about Jewish children, _The New York Times_ would be all over the issue. Why aren't they all over the issue when rabbis say such things? Does _The New York Times_ agree with the rabbi?

[EXODUS 12 — killing of the firstborn Egyptian male children]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses and Aaron, "From now on, this month will be your first month."

God continued [allegedly], "Now, you must speak to the Israelites. Tell them that on the tenth day of this month, each man must take a lamb from his flock.... On the fourteenth day of the month, the lambs must be killed at sunset. Then, each Israelite should take some of the blood and smear it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of their homes.

"That same night, they must eat the meat after it is cooked over a fire, and eat bitter plants. Plus, they must eat bread that is made without yeast....

"They must eat the meat while their coats are tucked into their belts. They must wear their sandals on their feet. They must eat the food quickly, and take their walking sticks. This will be called the Lord's Passover.

"That same night, I will go throughout Egypt. I will kill every oldest son of the Egyptians. I will also kill the firstborn male animals, and I will pass judgment on all the gods of Egypt.

"The blood on the doorways of the Israelites will be a sign. If I see blood on a doorway, I will pass over that house [thus the name "Passover"]. No one inside will be touched.

"The Israelites must always remember this day. From now on, they and their descendants must celebrate this day as a feast to honor God. This is a law that will last forever...."

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-knowing, he wouldn't need the Israelites to put blood on their doorframes. He would know which houses belonged to Israelites, and which belonged to Egyptians.

Of course, if it was the Israelite men who were going to kill the Egyptian children, they WOULD need to know which houses belonged to Egyptians, and which to Israelites, so maybe the Israelite men killed the Egyptian children, then blamed it on Yahweh.

Also, notice that Passover celebrates the day when all the firstborn male children of the Egyptians were murdered by Yahweh (or by the Israelites themselves). The Christians don't have a similar holiday, because the Christians don't celebrate any day when Jesus went around murdering children.

Also, it says that Yahweh said he was going to "pass judgment on all the gods of Egypt", once again admitting there are other gods.

It would be nice if, some day, someone would pass judgment on all the people who are alive today, including the American presidents who played god and while doing so, killed more than 500,000 Iraqi children. That would include Presidents George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush. And for eight of those years, Hillary Clinton was in the White House, writing a book, _It Takes a Village_ , a title which was taken from the expression, "It takes a village to raise a child".

Why didn't Hillary Clinton put a stop to the sanctions? And notice that Hillary Clinton is still very popular among many American Jews.

During Bill Clinton's presidency, in 1996, Lesley Stahl of "Sixty Minutes" was interviewing Madeleine Albright, who at the time was America's ambassador to the U.N. Here's part of what was said:

Stahl: "We have heard that a half million children have died [due to the sanctions against Iraq]. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?

Albright replied: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price—we think the price is worth it."

That's a remarkable statement, especially coming from Albright, who is Jewish, so you think she'd be sensitive to the mass murder of innocent people, as happened during the Holocaust.

Was the price worth it, as Albright said? Because one of the costs associated with the killing of all those Muslim children was the attack on the U.S. on September 11, 2001.

Some may wonder whether Madeleine Albright was reprimanded or fired after she said that "the price [of killing all those Iraqi children] was worth it."

On the contrary, she was promoted. She became Bill Clinton's Secretary of State.

Madeleine Albright and Hillary Clinton both went to Wellesley College. Maybe that's a good school to send your child if you want them to learn how to commit a mass murder against children, and have it be no big deal.

_Torah:_ Moses called the Israelites together and told them what God had said....

The Israelites did just what Moses told them to do.

[Exodus 12:29-30] At midnight, God struck down all the firstborn sons of the Egyptians. He killed Pharaoh's oldest son, the oldest sons of all the prisoners, and the firstborn male animals. Pharaoh and his officials awoke in the night, as did all the other Egyptians. There was loud crying throughout Egypt, because someone had died in every [Egyptian] home.

_My note:_ Of course, if Yahweh was all-powerful, he could have killed Egyptian soldiers so the Israelites could take over Egypt. So, once again, it appears Yahweh was not all-powerful—or, if it was the Israelites themselves who killed the Egyptian children, those Israelites might not have been strong enough to kill Egyptian soldiers, so that could explain why children were killed instead.

_Torah:_ Pharaoh sent for Moses and Aaron. He told them, "Get out. Take the Israelites and go. Also, take your flocks and herds."

The other Egyptians also begged the Israelites to leave Egypt. They said, "If you don't leave now, all of us will die."

The Israelites took their dough that had no yeast. They carried it on their shoulders, in bread pans. Also, they did as Moses had ordered. They asked the Egyptians for articles of gold and silver, and also for clothes. The Egyptians treated them kindly and gave them what they asked for.

_My note:_ The Egyptians treated the Israelites kindly after Yahweh hit the Egyptians with multiple plagues, and killed all their firstborn male children? That doesn't make sense. Why would the Egyptians treat them kindly? If I was an Egyptian, I would want to slaughter them—and that would be a normal, justifiable reaction.

The question is, why didn't the Egyptians slaughter the Israelites after the firstborn males of the Egyptians were killed? Could it be because the firstborn Egyptian males who died weren't murdered, they died of natural causes?

Then again, maybe this whole story is fiction. Maybe only some firstborn males died, or maybe none of them died. Maybe the authors made up this whole story to scare non-Israelites. After all, if non-Israelites believed that the Israelites had such a powerful god, then they would be reluctant to fight the Israelites, or if they did fight the Israelites, they would be at a psychological disadvantage if they thought the Israelite god was so powerful he could win the battle for the Israelites, even if the Israelites were greatly outnumbered.

Even in this age of reason, intellect and science, superstitions still flourish, and many of those superstitions come from religion

The word "superstition" comes from "super=above" and "stit=to stand"—and who "stands above" us all, according to the Bible?

Yahweh. So, he must be a... "superstition".

_Torah:_ The Israelites who left Egypt had about 600,000 men who were old enough to be warriors. Their women and children went with them. They also had large flocks and herds.

The Israelites had lived in Egypt for 430 years. Now they marched out of Egypt like they were an army.

_My note:_ 430 years earlier, there were only 70 Israelites (see Genesis 46). Now they have 600,000 men who are old enough to be warriors. That would mean that the total number of Israelites is more than twice 600,000 (since the total would include women and children), so the total number would probably be more than 1.5 million people.

You'd have to be pretty naive to believe that 1.5 million people left Egypt for Canaan and traveled for more than 40 years through land that was mostly desert (according to Deuteronomy 29). At the end of that time, most of the people would be dead from starvation or lack of water (as I mentioned earlier, only two of the 600,000 men who fled Egypt actually made it to the promised land of Canaan; however, by the time the Israelites were ready to cross the Jordan River into Canaan 40 years after leaving Egypt, many of the children and grandchildren of those who had fled Egypt were still alive, according to Numbers 26, which says that right before entering Canaan, God told Moses and Eleazar to count all the men of Israel who were 20 years old or more. They did. "The total number came to 601,730." Thus, with women and children, they probably still numbered about 1.5 million—if the story is true, which it can't be.)

People who believe this nonsense are like the people who invested with Bernie Madoff, and when told that Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme (before the scheme was actually revealed by law enforcement officials), these investors would argue ferociously that it wasn't a Ponzi scheme, that Bernie Madoff was a genius who had a "special formula", or some such nonsense.

Moses understood the psychology of people like this, just as do today's rabbis, ministers, and the Catholic clergy.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] watched over the Israelites as they left Egypt, so on that same night every year, the Israelites must keep watch to honor God. God also told Moses and Aaron the rules about eating food on Passover [those rules can be found in a traditional Bible].

_My note:_ Here are some additional rules. (1) Don't talk with your mouth full; (2) Don't throw food when you're at the table, or anywhere else; (3) Don't spit food at each other; (4) Try to brush your teeth when you finish eating; (5) Floss at least once a day; (6) Always remember to say "Please" and "Thank you", as it is a sign of good breeding, and by acknowledging the efforts of others, it helps to maintain a pleasant environment; (7) Be considerate of others at the table when you eat, and at all other times; (8) Don't force your children to eat food they don't like unless they are allowed to force you to eat food you don't like.

Forcing children to eat food for insufficiently good reason can occur when people have "domination complexes". Many adults force children to eat food the children don't like not because the food is good for the children, but because the adults like metaphorically shoving things down the throats of their children, because they like being bullies. They figure they were bullied when they were growing up, so now it's time for them to be the bullies.

This pathological cycle needs to cease.

On the other hand, there are some parts of the world, where people are desperate, where parents need to dominate their children thoroughly to make sure they'll survive.

[EXODUS 13]

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses [allegedly], "From now on, every firstborn son of an Israelite mother belongs to me. Every firstborn male animal also belongs to me."

_My note:_ Most people don't know about this commandment from Yahweh. In fact, there are 613 commandments in the first five books of the Bible (the Jewish "Torah").

The rabbis call these 613 commandments "mitzvot". In rabbinic tradition, these commandments are broken down into 365 negative restrictions, and 248 positive commands.

You might wonder what Yahweh does with the children he owns.

Answer: he sells them back to the parents.

Why?

Because he doesn't want the child, he wants the money that he gets when the child is bought back by the parents.

Why does Yahweh need the money?

He doesn't. His high priests want the money, for themselves. What the heck does a god need money for?

If the high priests get the money, they won't need to go out and work in the fields under the hot Middle East sun. They can stay in the cool temple, play poker and hang around with vestal virgins.

Why did the Israelite people fall for this trick?

I call it "The Rapacity of Hope." The people hope that they get enough rain for their crops, enough food for their livestock and families, and they hope that their families will stay free of diseases and accidents. The high priests notice that the people are hoping for these things, so they deceive the people into thinking that they, the high priests, can get people what the people are hoping for through the special relationship that the high priests have with the never-seen god, Yahweh. As long as the high priests don't charge too much, most people will pay, figuring that maybe the high priests can get the people what they are hoping for.

The best part for the priests, though, is that if the people give "sacrifices" to the high priests, and the people still don't get what they want, the high priests can say, "The reason you didn't get what you wanted is because you didn't give enough to God. God wants you to give even more, and then you'll get what you want."

Bernie Madoff, who deceived people out of billions of dollars, understood the psychology of people who hoped, and he raped them financially. Many politicians also understand the psychology of hope. They routinely take advantage of people's hopes to get themselves elected to public office, even though many of the things people hope for the public official can't possibly get them.

For example, presidential candidates promise all kinds of things, but many of the things they promise they can't get, because they don't make the laws, Congress does, and the people in Congress often don't do what presidents want, they do what they think will get them re-elected (which often means doing what their biggest campaign contributors want).

There's another reason the Israelites fell for the tricks of the high priests. It's the same reason Americans pay taxes to build bridges to nowhere.

They pay because they've been taught to be like sheep, so they do what the shepherd says.

Of course, some Americans refuse to be sheep. They fight to get what they want. We see this in young children, who will scream to high heaven to get what they want.

If adults act like young children, and keep screaming to get what they want, isn't that doing what Jesus said to do in Matthew 18:3?

_Torah:_ In response to God's demand [that firstborn sons and animals belong to God], Moses told the Israelites, "After you arrive in Canaan, give to God [the high priests] the oldest son of every mother, and every firstborn male animal also belongs to God. Then, the people must buy back every firstborn male donkey, and buy back every oldest son."

_My note:_ As for the rest of the firstborn male animals, other than the donkeys, they go into the bellies of the priests, or the priests can sell them.

What a con job.

_Torah:_ Then Moses told the Israelites, "Remember this day. Don't eat anything that has yeast in it. Soon, God will bring you into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites and others. Long ago, he promised you this land. It's a land with plenty of milk and honey."

_My note:_ By "soon", Moses meant "40 years", when more than 99% of the men who fled Egypt would be dead or gone.

What kind of promise is that, when by the time Yahweh fulfills the promise, you're dead?

So we can see that the poor Israelites were played for suckers here, too.

_Torah:_ The Israelites set out to leave their homes in Goshen, Egypt. The shortest road to Canaan went through the land of the Philistines. But God led them a different way, because he thought that if the Israelites had to fight against the Philistines, they might change their minds about leaving and return to Egypt. So God took them on a desert road toward the Red Sea.

Moses also took the bones of Joseph with him.

_My note:_ Why would God worry about the Philistines? If he was all-powerful, he certainly wouldn't worry about the Philistines.

_Torah:_ During the day, God traveled ahead of the Israelites in a pillar of cloud, which guided them. At night, God led them with a pillar of fire. It provided them light, so they could travel by day or night.

_My note:_ Pillar of cloud? Pillar of light? These could have been simple magician's tricks. And why didn't Yahweh give the Israelites a GPS system, or even a simple compass?

Answer: Yahweh didn't know how to make a compass, or a GPS system, even though all you need to make a compass is a magnetized piece of metal on a string.

Of course, if Moses was pretending that he was getting his instructions from a god, and he could make people believe that, it would make it much easier for him to get people to follow his commands. Isn't that why Bernie Madoff wanted people to believe he had special wisdom in the investing field, so people would think he was superior to all the other investment fund managers, just like Jews and Christians have been taught that Yahweh (or more specifically, the agents or vicars of Yahweh, such as the rabbis and the Pope) is superior to the rest of us?

[EXODUS 14]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Tell the Israelites to turn back and camp by the sea. This will confuse Pharaoh. He will think you are lost."

God continued [allegedly], "I will make Pharaoh's heart stubborn again. He will chase after the Israelites, but I will gain glory for myself by what I will do to him."

_My note:_ This alleged conversation that a god had with Moses would be more believable if Moses had used a tape recorder, but Yahweh didn't know how to make a tape recorder. In fact, he didn't even know how to make gunpowder, which just goes to show you he wasn't as smart as thousands of today's humans who do know how to make gunpowder.

What kind of a god isn't even as smart as many of today's humans?

_Torah:_ After Pharaoh and his officials learned that the Israelites had left, they changed their minds and wanted them back. They said, "Our slaves have left us. Now we'll have to do all the work they used to do."

Pharaoh's assistants prepared his chariot. He took 600 other chariots with him. Then he began chasing after the Israelites. All of Pharaoh's chariots, horsemen and troops went with him. They caught up with the Israelites as the Israelites were camping by the sea.

When the Israelites saw Pharaoh and his troops approaching, they were terrified. They cried out to God. They asked Moses, "Why did you bring us here to die? We told you in Egypt to leave us alone. It would be better to be slaves in Egypt than to die here."

Moses replied, "Don't be afraid. Today you will see how God will protect you."

Then God told Moses [allegedly], "Why do you cry out to me? Tell the Israelites to go forward. Hold your staff out. Put your hand over the Red Sea and move the waters apart. Then the people can walk through the sea on dry ground. The Egyptians will chase you. Then I will gain glory for myself because of what I will do to Pharaoh and his army. The Egyptians will know that I am God."

_My note:_ Yahweh says he's going to gain glory for himself.

Why would a god say such a thing? If he's a god, he doesn't need glory, does he? He already has glory, because he's a god.

Of course, maybe Yahweh had a lot of insecurities. Maybe when he was a child, he was abandoned by his mother, who put him in a basket and left him in the grass by a river, and he was raised by people who thought they were gods, but they didn't think he was a god, they thought he was inferior because he was a Hebrew.

People believe that the Bible is the word of a god because they were told since childhood that the Bible is the word of a god—and that's it. They never grew out of their childhood. They still believe what they were told to believe. They believe other silly things, like "Ours is a nation of laws, not men", and "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." So when you say to them, "You say that absolute power corrupts absolutely, but the only one with absolute power is God. That must mean that God is absolutely corrupt", that short-circuits their brains, and leaves them floundering for a response.

Or, if they're bigger than you, maybe they try to intimidate you into shutting up.

Also during childhood, many people are told that there's this fellow named Santa Claus, who is much like God, because he'll give you good things if you are good, and bad things if you are bad (like he'll put coal in your stocking).

Most people give up their belief in Santa Claus when they are children. Why, then, don't they give up their belief in Yahweh who, like Santa, has never been seen?

Children give up their belief in Santa Claus primarily for four reasons: (1) they are told by others whom they trust, both their peers and adults, that Santa doesn't exist; (2) they are confronted with the illogic of Santa (e.g., How can anyone run a massive toy-making operation at the North Pole? How can a big fat man fit down a narrow chimney? How can reindeer fly?); (3) giving up their belief in Santa is a rite of passage out of the world of early childhood; and (4) the child's peers will subject the child to ridicule, sometimes harsh ridicule, if the child continues to believe in Santa.

For most people, just the opposite happens with Yahweh. People don't give up their belief in Yahweh because: (1) they are told by many others who they trust, both peers and adults, that Yahweh does indeed exist, even though he has never been seen by anyone in the modern world, except for people in mental institutions; (2) every point of illogic regarding the existence of Yahweh is met with jesuitical explanations that are primarily a mishmash of hard-to-penetrate mumbo jumbo; (3) giving up their belief in Yahweh is not a rite of passage for most people; instead, it could very well get them ostracized from their family, friends and neighbors; and (4) while they may not be subjected to strident ridicule if they stop believing in Yahweh, they are often put down in more subtle ways, whether by people who kindly treat them as though they are dense for not being able to see the light; or by people telling them they will go to hell because they aren't born again, or they are going to hell if they don't cover themselves with poisonous rattlesnakes, or some other such nonsense.

Why are you expected to stop believing in Santa, but keep believing in Yahweh?

Because of the money, honey. Rabbis, ministers, priests, bishops, cardinals and even the Pope all want your money, because they'd prefer to sit in cool churches or temples and give sermons a few times a week, rather than work out in the hot sun as a farmer or construction worker, or work at some other job that may not have high status and may require a lot of tedious work for which one gets little satisfaction, and where you might be laid off at any time.

As a clergyman, one usually has relatively high status (until recently); there's little or no physical labor; the work one does often isn't especially taxing; there are no layoffs in many churches and temples; and one can often accomplish many good things if one is so inclined.

Don't get me wrong. I believe that supernatural forces exist, but I don't think there's some guy flying around in outer space who returned to earth to murder a bunch of Egyptian children. That's loony.

Loony people typically don't know they are loony, and you can't reason with them about it, because they're beyond reason. America is full of such people, and you can prove that easily, just by saying to a group of Americans, "Your god is a Hebrew god, he's never been seen, he's not going to return, he doesn't exist, and he's a complete concoction."

As soon as you say that, the people will start snarling and snipping and biting at you. Some of them will even want to kill you, even though everything you said is true.

Lunatics. Some of them think they are God's chosen people because a talking shrub said so, and that's crazy. I don't care what anyone says, that's crazy. But it's also kind of funny, if you think about it.

"Hi, I'm a talking shrub. How are you today?"

_Torah:_ The angel of God had been traveling in front of the Israelites. Now he went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved behind them. It came between the Egyptians and the Israelites. Throughout the night, the cloud brought darkness to the Egyptians and light to the Israelites.

_My note:_ Notice that it refers to the angel as "he". I don't recall any angel in the first five books of the Bible who is a woman. So, where's all the female angels?

Remember "Charlie's Angels"? They were all females.

If you're a man, and an angel was going to come visit you, which would you rather have, a male angel, or a female angel? How about if you're a woman, would you rather have a male angel, or a female angel? What would you want the angel to look like?

Maybe everyone has guardian angels, who are people in your past who try to look out for you. That's possible, even though many scientists say it's nonsense. I think it's far more likely that people have guardian angels than that there's some old guy flying around in outer space who swoops down and murders children. That's loopy.

_Torah:_ Moses moved his hand over the Red Sea. All that night God pushed the sea back with a strong wind.

_My note:_ Or maybe the tide went out.

_Torah:_ The waters of the sea parted. The Israelites walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground. There were walls of water on both their left and right.

_My note:_ So sayeth the Bible. Do you believe it? Do you believe Santa can visit every home on the planet in one night, with his sleigh being towed by flying reindeer? Do you believe in Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, who guides the sleigh of Santa?

At least the Santa story is a happier story than the story about an old man coming out of the sky to slaughter a bunch of little kids.

_Torah:_ The Egyptians chased the Israelites. They followed the Israelites into the sea. Then God made the Egyptian army panic. He made it so their chariot wheels couldn't turn easily.

The Egyptians said, "Let's get away from the Israelites. God is on their side."

Then God told Moses, "Put your hand over the sea. The waters will flow back over the Egyptian chariots and their horsemen."

Moses did what he was told. At sunrise, the walls of water flowed together and covered the chariots, horsemen and the entire army of Pharaoh. The Egyptians tried to run away, but God swept them into the sea. Not one of the Egyptians was left. But the Israelites were saved.

_My note:_ If none of the Egyptians was left, why didn't Moses and the Israelites turn around and take over Egypt, rather than wander in the desert for forty years?

I remember hearing this story about God parting the sea, and then closing it onto the Egyptians and drowning them. It's a pretty impressive story to a trusting child, because even as a child, you know that any of the adults you know couldn't do such a powerful thing. But, it's a lie, just like the Santa story is a lie.

There's another thing. If Yahweh is so powerful, how come he has never been on television? Even dogs on skateboards make it onto television.

_Torah:_ The Israelites saw the Egyptians lying dead on the shore. They had seen the great power of God, so they had great respect for God. They placed their trust in him and Moses.

_My note:_ That is, until later, when they built the golden calf—and the time after that, and the time after that, and the time after that... (as you shall see).

[EXODUS 15]

_Torah:_ Aaron had a sister, Miriam. She was a prophet. After the sea had wiped out the Egyptians, Miriam took a tambourine and danced. All the women joined her. Miriam sang a song praising God for drowning all of Pharaoh's army.

Moses led the Israelites away from the Red Sea into the desert of Shun. They couldn't find water. The only water they found was bitter. The people weren't happy with Moses. They asked, "What will we drink?"

Moses cried out to God. God showed Moses a stick. Moses threw it in the water. The water lost its bitterness.

_My note:_ Sounds like another trick by Moses—and where is Moses going to find enough water in the desert for 1.5 million people or more, and all their livestock and flocks? If he could find that much water in a desert, it wouldn't be a desert.

But religious people will say, "Maybe there were 1,000 big tractor trailer rigs filled with Poland Spring water—because with God, all things are possible."

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] made a rule for the Israelites. He said, "I am the Lord your God. Do what is right. Obey my commands. If you do, I won't send any of the sicknesses I sent to the Egyptians."

_My note:_ The Israelites only get sick when they disobey God's commands? Nonsense. What about all the Jews who are pious and righteous? They never get sick?

The Torah was designed to get the Israelites to obey the commands of their leaders. Even today, the rabbis and Christian clergy can say they know what God's law is, and you can't double-check their statements or commands by asking God himself, because God isn't around to confirm or deny their interpretations.

Once again, see how sneaky these little devils are?

_Torah:_ The Israelites came to Elim. It had 12 springs and 70 palm trees. The Israelites set up camp near the water.

_My note:_ Let's see. There were more than a million and a half Israelites who fled Egypt. If there were only 70 palm trees, that's about one palm tree for every 21,000 persons.

That's not much shade for each person. (In fact, Madison Square Garden in New York City holds about 20,000 people, so it would be about one palm tree for all those people.)

If that's the best Yahweh can do, the Israelites might be better off returning to Egypt.

Of course, maybe there weren't a million and half Israelites who fled Egypt. Maybe there were only a few thousand. That would make much more sense, wouldn't it?

Then again, maybe no Israelites fled Egypt. Maybe it's just a tall tale.

Do you think _E.T._ is a real story? Or _Ghostbusters_? Or _The Wizard of Oz_? Probably you don't, because you understand that they are fictional stories which are produced by movie companies. But when you're very young, and you don't know much, it's easier to believe these stories may indeed be true.

That's why Judaism and Christianity are inclined to make sure you stay ignorant about the world, because then it's easier to keep you believing nonsense, and as long as you keep believing nonsense, rabbis, Protestant ministers and the Catholic clergy can benefit.

This also helps to explain why it's so hard to improve American education, because the people in power want their own children to get into the best colleges and universities, so they have to make sure that other people's children get inferior educations, which is what happens. Yet the people in power SAY they want your children to get the best educations possible.

It's all a lie. And most Americans believe it, because they've been trained to believe lies.

[EXODUS 16]

_Torah:_ The Israelites started out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin... The Israelites told Moses and Aaron they weren't happy with them. They said, "We wish God had killed us in Egypt. At least there we had plenty of food. In this desert, we'll die of hunger."

God told Moses [allegedly], "I'll send down bread like rain from heaven. The people must gather it each day. I'll test them. They must follow my directions. On the sixth day, they must prepare what they gather, and bring in twice as much as on the other days."

Moses and Aaron told the Israelites, "God has heard you speak against him. He'll give you meat in the evening and bread in the morning." Then the glory of God appeared in a cloud.

_My note:_ Once again, Yahweh wasn't available, so he sent his cloud.

And what is this statement, "God has heard you speak against him"? The people aren't asking for much, only that they don't starve to death. That's not being unreasonable of the people, is it?

_Torah:_ That evening, quail came and covered the camp. In the morning, the ground was covered with dew. After the dew was gone, thin flakes that looked like frost appeared on the ground. The Israelites asked Moses what they were.

Moses said, "It's the bread God has sent you. He said you should gather up two quarts for each person who lives in each tent."

The Israelites called the bread "manna". It was white and tasted like wafers made with honey.

_My note:_ Flakes that looked like frost? Doesn't that mean... frosted flakes?!

And then Tony the Tiger came out and said, "That's grrrrreat!"

There are actually people who spend a significant part of their lives trying to figure out what "manna" was. They would rather spend their lives trying to figure out what manna was than help feed people today who have no food.

People like that should be among the first ones we eat when the earth runs out of other types of food.

Also, if enough manna existed to feed 1.5 million people every day for forty years, it should be easy to find today. But there is none today. So, this is almost certainly another big lie, unless "manna" is a secret code for "man-n-a", which can sound like... "man-any". And "man-any" obviously means "any man", which could mean that the food the Israelites were eating was each other.

"What kind of food would you like today?"

"Man-n-a."

"The only men on the menu today are flakes."

"That's fine with me."

_Torah:_ Then Moses told the people, "Don't keep any of the manna all night."

Some people obeyed Moses, but others kept some all night. It became full of maggots and began to stink, so Moses got angry.

Each morning the Israelites gathered what they needed, but by mid-day, the flakes had melted.

_My note:_ Maybe this manna wasn't men who were flakes. Maybe it was Quaker Instant Oatmeal, sent by Yahweh himself!

Why not? With God, all things are possible, right?

And what's all this talk about stinking maggots? Is this the exalted word of the Lord of All Creation—stinking maggots?

_Torah:_ On the sixth day, the Israelites gathered twice as much, or four quarts per person. The Israelite leaders reported this to Moses. He said, "Tomorrow is a day of rest. It is God's day, so bake what you want and boil what you want. Save what is left until morning."

They saved it until morning, but this time it didn't stink or get maggots.

_My note:_ As one writer put it, "This means that not only the manna but also the maggots rested on the Sabbath."

_Torah:_ "Today is the Sabbath day in God's honor," said Moses. "Eat the food today. There won't be any flakes on the ground today."

Despite what Moses said, on the seventh day some of the Israelites went out to gather flakes, but they didn't find any.

Then God said to Moses, "How long will the Israelites disobey my commands?"

The Israelites ate manna for 40 years, until they finally reached Canaan.

_My note:_ By that time, all but two of the original 600,000 Israelite males who were counted when they first left Egypt were dead.

Where did the other 599,998 go?

"Burp!"

[EXODUS 17]

_Torah:_ After the Israelites left the Desert of Sin, they traveled from place to place. One day, they camped at a place called Rephidim, but there wasn't any drinking water. The Israelites told Moses, "Give us water so we can drink."

Moses replied, "Why argue with me? Why do you put God to the test?"

_My note:_ If Yahweh was such a powerful fellow, why couldn't he come up with some drinking water? If he says he's going to take the people to the promised land, he should at least give them some drinking water so they can make it there. What good is his promise if all the people die from thirst before they make it to the promised land?

_Torah:_ The people said to Moses, "Why did you take us out of Egypt? Did you want us to die of thirst?"

Moses cried out to God, "What should I do with these people? They are ready to stone me."

God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Walk ahead of the people. Take some of the elders and your wooden staff. I'll stand by you near the rock at Mount Sinai. Hit the rock, and water to drink will come out of it."

Moses did what God said. He did it in front of the elders. Water came out of the rock.

_My note:_ As we saw earlier, there were probably more than 1.5 million Israelites, plus all the livestock. Is the Bible suggesting that Moses caused enough water to come out of a rock for 1.5 million people, and all their livestock?

Nonsense. If there was any water, Moses probably already knew about it, since he had been to Mount Sinai before, but if there was water, there almost certainly wasn't enough for the needs of 1.5 million people, and all their livestock.

But believers will say, "Oh, no. 1.5 million gallons of water came out of the rock for the people, and another two million gallons of water came out for their animals. It was a big rock."

You might reply, "But—"

"If it says in the Bible that enough water came out," believers will say, "then enough water came out." Then they'll threaten you with their tone of voice, so you better stop talking, or they'll think you're the devil and they'll try to kill you.

This is how these people raise their children, with threats of death and damnation. These are very, very insecure people, so it's best not to ruffle their feathers too much if you can avoid it.

You understand? These people truly have some serious mental problems. They're going to raise their children to have serious mental problems. And the one with the biggest mental problem of all is the president of the United States, who orders men and women to go to wars against people who did nothing against us. And what's amazing is that the people who are ordered to go to these wars actually get up and go.

But it shouldn't be so surprising, because most of these servicemen and women, from birth, were taught to believe nonsense, so when the president himself tells them to do something which makes no sense, these people do it automatically.

"Does this make any sense?" one of them asks another.

"No, but it's an order, so we have to do it."

"But it doesn't make any sense."

"But it's an order."

"That's true. But I hate firing all these missiles, because you know we're going to be killing a lot of innocent people."

"But it's an order. An order's an order."

"That's true. Fire away."

So you can see how cleverly an entire culture can be corrupted, making otherwise good men and women kill tens of thousands of innocent people, and having them think it's okay.

There is the possibility that Americans do all these things that cause others to hate us because of the spirit of Geronimo, who is getting back at the United States for stealing the land of his people, and killing so many members of his tribe, and other native American tribes.

There's no way to prove that, one way or the other, so it could be true.

_Torah:_ When the Israelites were camping at Rephidim, they were attacked by the Amalekites. Moses told Joshua, "Choose some men and go fight the Amalekites. I'll stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands."

Joshua and his men began fighting against the Amalekites.... Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. The Israelites were winning as long as Moses kept his hands up, but when he lowered his hands, the Amalekites began to win.

When Moses' arms became tired, Aaron and Hur held his arms up. Moses' arms remained steady all day, so Joshua was able to destroy the Amalekite army.

_My note:_ Is the Bible suggesting that the Amalekites were defeated by the smell of Moses' underarms?

[EXODUS 18]

_Torah:_ Moses had sent his wife Zipporah and his two sons to the home of his father-in-law Jethro in Midian. Jethro was the priest of Midian. He came to see Moses in the desert. Moses told Jethro all the good things God had done, and about all the hard times they had had. Jethro praised God.

The next day, Moses took his seat in front of the Israelites to serve as their judge. Jethro watched what he was doing. Jethro said, "Aren't you trying to do too much? You are the only judge. These people stand around from morning to night."

_My note:_ It's been more than 3000 years since this happened, and people still stand around from morning to night waiting for judges to get to their cases.

So much for the advances of civilization.

_Torah:_ Then Jethro said, "There's too much work for you to do. Let me give you some advice. You should teach the Israelites the rules and laws. Show them how they should live and what they should do. Choose able men to lead and judge them. Choose men you trust. Let them decide the easy cases. You decide the difficult ones. That way, you can carry the load."

Moses took Jethro's advice. It made his work much easier. Then Jethro returned home.

_My note:_ Why didn't Yahweh tell Moses what Moses was doing wrong? Why did Moses have to get it from Jethro? Or why didn't Moses figure it out himself?

Once again, we have a situation where Yahweh was useless.

[EXODUS 19]

_Torah:_ Three months after the Israelites left Egypt, they came to the Sinai Desert. They camped in front of Mount Sinai.

Moses went up the mountain to see God. God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Tell the Israelites, 'You saw for yourselves what God did to the Egyptians. Now, obey God completely. Obey the terms of the covenant he has with you. If you do, then of all nations you will be special. You will be a kingdom of priests who will serve God.'"

_My note:_ Something went horribly wrong, because only a liar or a lunatic would argue that the Israelites ever became a kingdom of priests who served God. How are Jerry Springer, Woody Allen, Geraldo Rivera and the Three Stooges priests who serve God?

Maybe Yahweh would have been more effective if he came out and talked to the Israelites face to face, instead of hiding behind bushes or talking from inside clouds. Or maybe he would have been more effective if he didn't let the Jews get slaughtered all over the place for the last 3000 years.

Then again, maybe he'd be especially effective if he actually existed.

_Torah:_ Moses went back to the Israelites and sent for the elders. He told them what God had said. They replied, "We will do what God has said."

Moses returned to God and told him, "They will do what you have said."

God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "I will come to you in a thick cloud. The people will hear me talking with you. They will always trust you."

_My note:_ Wrong, Yahweh. They stopped trusting him shortly after this, when they made the golden calf.

How can you claim to be an all-knowing god when you don't even know about the upcoming mutiny involving the golden calf?

There will be many other times after that when the Israelites don't trust Moses.

Do you know why Yahweh comes to Moses in a thick cloud?

He has to talk from a cloud, because that's Moses playing magic tricks on the simple Israelites, pretending he's meeting with a god when he isn't. It's just like in _The Wizard of Oz_ , where a man pretends to be the great Oz, but it's all just a bunch of smoke, fire and other assorted tricks. Remember?

"I am Oz, the great and powerful."

"Rough rough! Rough rough!"

_Torah:_ Then Moses told God what the Israelites had said.

_My note:_ An all-knowing god would have known what the Israelites said. He wouldn't need Moses to tell him.

_Torah:_ God told Moses [allegedly], "Go to the Israelites. Tell them to purify themselves for worship. Have them wash their clothes. Have them ready by the third day. On that day, I will come down from Mount Sinai, and everyone will see it.

"Tell the people, 'Don't go up the mountain. Don't even go near the foot of the mountain. All those who touch the mountain will be put to death. Don't touch those people yourself. Stone them to death, or kill them with arrows, whether they are people or animals. They can only go up the mountain when they hear a long blast from a ram's horn.'"

_My note:_ Yahweh says to stone the people to death (or kill them with arrows) if they touch the mountain?

What kind of god would order that his own chosen people be killed just for touching a mountain?

This god is a pretty brutal character. Not even Hitler ordered that anyone who touched a mountain should be put to death.

Some people think this passage means that Moses wasn't meeting with a god, he was meeting with an extraterrestrial being, and that's why the people who touch the mountain shouldn't be touched, because if they touch the mountain that means they are infected with radiation from the nuclear reactor on the spaceship.

Then, if you explain to these same people that the extraterrestrial beings rode nuclear-powered bicycles, and that 3000 years later the same spaceship also appeared in North America, and the extraterrestrials got out and met with some of the predecessors of the Mormons, they'll believe that, too. Some of these extraterrestrials even sing in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!

By the way, all these special effects described in the Bible could have been coming from Joshua or Aaron, who could have been hiding in the background, or up on the mountain.

_Torah:_ Moses went down the mountain to the Israelites and told them what God had said. "Wash your clothes," he said. "Get ready for the third day. Don't make love."

_My note:_ Why do the Israelites have to wait three days to meet Yahweh? Is that how long it took for Moses to set up all the special effects that would make it seem like Yahweh was on the mountain?

_Torah:_ On the morning of the third day, there was thunder and lightning. The mountain was covered with a thick cloud. There was a very loud trumpet blast. All the Israelites trembled in fear.

Then Moses led the people from the camp to the foot of the mountain to meet God. Smoke covered the mountain. The mountain trembled and shook. The trumpet sound became louder and louder.

_My note:_ All special effects, set up by Moses—if this even happened.

That's the problem with the Torah. There are so many lies that it's hard for a thinking person to believe anything. That's why the religious leaders of the Jews and Christians don't want you to be a thinking person, unless you're good at thinking up lies to help them.

_Torah:_ Then Moses spoke, and God answered him.

God came down to the top of Mt. Sinai. He told Moses to come up and meet him at the top of the mountain, so Moses did.

_My note:_ Once again, Yahweh still doesn't show his face to the Israelites.

And if Yahweh is at the top of Mt. Sinai, how can he tell Moses to come up and meet him at the top of the mountain? Did they have walkie-talkies? Cell phones? Two cans and a very long string?

Mt. Sinai is 7,497 feet high. That would mean the string would have to be more than a mile long.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said to Moses, "Warn the people not to come see me. If they do, many of them will die. The priests can approach me when they are serving me, but even they must keep their distance."

_My note:_ Why will many of the people die if they come to see Yahweh? Because if they get too close, they will see that Yahweh doesn't exist, that it's Moses using tricks?

And why can't the priests come up the mountain and shake Yahweh's hand, or shake one of his branches (if he's still a bush)? If Yahweh was all-powerful, why is he so afraid of meeting people?

You can see that Moses is hiding something, or the authors are.

_Torah:_ Moses replied to God, "The people can't come up Mt. Sinai. You already warned us, and we set the mountain apart as holy and put a boundary around it."

God replied [allegedly], "Go down and get Aaron, but not the priests or the people."

_My note:_ Now Yahweh won't even let the priests come up the mountain, which further suggests that Yahweh is scared about something, or Moses is.

Still, we should give credit where credit is due. The authors of the Bible carried out the most successful con job in history. It fooled billions of people for more than 3000 years, and it's still fooling billions of people.

Bernie Madoff was pretty smart, but the authors of the Bible were even smarter, to set up a con game that would run for more than 3000 years, and ultimately control billions of people.

But do you really think everyone was fooled? Do you really think all those Protestant ministers who make huge amounts of money for themselves were fooled? Or all those smart people at the Vatican? Or all the very intelligent rabbis? Isn't it more likely that some of them know exactly what the con game is all about, and they use the con game to get what they want for themselves?

Those little devils.

[EXODUS 20]

_Torah:_ Then God spoke the following words as his ten commandments:

_My note:_ When Moses says the commandments come from a god, that would obviously give the commandments more weight. The problem is, many of the commandments are stupid or unfair, in one way or another.

_Torah:_ The ten commandments:

"[1] I am the Lord your God. I brought you out of Egypt where you were slaves. Do not put any other gods in place of me.

_My note:_ Because then you'll be giving offerings and sacrifices to the high priests of the other gods, not to the Israelite high priests.

_Torah:_ "[2] Do not make statues of other gods. Do not bow down to other gods, or worship them. I am a jealous God. I will punish the children for the sins of the parents, and I will punish the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of those who hate me. But for all time I will love those who love me and keep my commandments.

_My note:_ If he's going to punish the children for the sins of the parents, and punish the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of those who hate him, then he's not being very fair, is he?

_Torah:_ "[3] Always keep the Sabbath day as a holy day, in honor of God. Do all your work in six days. Do not do any work on the seventh day. The same commandment applies to your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, and your animals.

_My note:_ The legislatures in the U.S. changed this rule of Yahweh's, because they thought Yahweh was wrong about this (and many other things).

_Torah:_ "[4] Honor your father and mother.

_My note:_ But what if your father and mother are cruel? Cruel people shouldn't be honored. And Yahweh should know there are some parents who shouldn't be honored, so if there is a single god, and he's fair, he never said this commandment, because he wouldn't want cruel parents to be honored.

Bad parents love this commandment. They use it often on their children. If their children won't obey them, they say, "You better obey me, because it's one of the commandments, and God will punish you if you don't obey me."

The appropriate response of the child would be, "Look, sweetheart. First of all, the commandment says 'honor', not 'obey'. God doesn't want me to obey bad rules, and you are full of bad rules. Second, God doesn't want me to honor a child abuser, and you're a child abuser, so why don't you take your threats and stick 'em up your nose."

A child should be able to say this to either the mother or the father, when appropriate.

_Torah:_ "[5] Do not commit murder.

_My note:_ Isn't it murder to stone people to death for going near a mountain? Or can Yahweh kill anyone he wants, for any reason he wants, and it's NEVER murder?

Do you know why it was murder for Hitler to kill six million Jews? Because he lost the war. If he had won the war, it wouldn't have been murder to kill all those Jewish people, because the winner gets to say what's right, and what isn't. That isn't fair, of course, but fair has nothing to do with it, at least as far as the real world works—at least in many cases.

_Torah:_ "[6] Do not commit adultery.

_My note:_ "Mommy, what's 'adultery'?"

_Torah:_ "[7] Do not steal.

_My note:_ If you and your family are going to starve to death and someone else, like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet, has 50 billion loaves of bread, but they won't give you any to help you and your family, is it okay to steal some of their bread to save yourself and your family?

And the answer is, of course it's okay, no matter what Yahweh says. And the law should also be that you can even eat the person who won't give you any bread, and all his pets, and even his house, if he has a gingerbread house.

Do you see how some of these rules protect the rich, and those who are in power?

Napoleon summed it up when he said, "Religion is what keeps the poor from killing the rich."

Therefore, if you get rid of religion, you'll be able to...?

I'm only kidding. No one should be killed until there's widespread agreement on the planet on a complete set of rules that everyone can follow. It's hard to get such an agreement, though, because too many people want to play god, so you have a world overflowing with mini-gods and god wannabes. These people need to have a big contest to see who among them will make the best leader for the planet.

How will the winner be determined?

I'll determine who the winner is, since I'm the one who started the contest.

Is there any application fee to get into the game?

Yes. Send me one billion dollars and I'll put you in one of the lead positions. The only way someone can bump you from your position is to kill you. (If they kill you, they get the rest of your wealth.)

Ready? Set? Go!

_Torah:_ "[8] Do not make false testimony against anyone.

_My note:_ It is rare for people in the United States to be prosecuted for committing perjury. But how can a judge do the right thing if people come before him and lie, and he can't get to the truth?

We need to find a way to make sure people tell the truth. Plus, I wouldn't allow people to shut up when they're caught by the police. Instead, the law should be that they have to tell the police what they know, and if they committed the crime, they have to admit it.

Isn't that what we expect from our own children, that they must admit when they do something wrong? But if they lie, you often can't get to the truth. So why do our justice systems in our own homes do it one way, and our justice systems in the courts do it a different way?

Answer: Partly, because our law enforcement and justice systems don't see all U.S. citizens as part of the American family.

_Torah:_ "[9] Do not long for your neighbor's wife.

_My note:_ Should there also be a commandment for women: "Do not long for your neighbor's husband"?

_Torah:_ "[10] Do not long for anything which belongs to your neighbor.

_My note:_ Back in Biblical times, people didn't have much. Maybe sheep, goats, a donkey, some clothes and a tent. Now, people have so many things that people often long for what others have. In fact, American advertising creates many of these longings. Plus, now, these longings are being created for everyone on the planet, which means everyone wants more and more, which means that more and more energy will be needed to produce the things people want, so the cost of energy is going to spiral upward, and before too long it will cost $40 for a gallon of gasoline, and people all over the world will be angry because they can't afford most of the things they want, so they'll end up killing each other in large numbers because they're all so frustrated.

If enough people get killed, though, the price of energy will go down, so that's actually a good thing.

It's been said that if everyone on planet earth consumed at the same rate as Americans do, we'd need the resources of five planet earths to fill the demand. That's one of the reasons that NASA is going to attach a rope to Mars, and pull it closer to us—for the resources.

The leaders of the world's nuclear countries have estimated that if they kill 90% of the world's population, that will take a lot of pressure off their own children and grandchildren, so secret plans have been made by the leaders of the world's nuclear countries to kill 90% of the world's population, including 90% of the people in their own countries.

This will also reduce the development of "superbugs", which are viruses, bacteria and other germs that are becoming more and more resistant to medication. The problem is, each person on earth is a potential incubator for these superbugs, so killing 90% of the world's population gets rid of 90% of the incubators for these superbugs, further protecting the children and grandchildren of the world's leaders.

The world's leaders won't target members of the world's military organizations, or their families, because they need the military to protect them (and to kill the 90% of the people who need to die), so if you want to survive the "big hit" that the nuclear governments are going to give to 90% of the world's population, join the military RIGHT NOW!

(This is a paid advertisement by the United States Armed Services.)

_Torah:_ The Israelites saw the thunder and lightning near the mountain. They heard the trumpet. They saw the mountain covered with smoke. They were afraid. They stayed far from the mountain.

_My note:_ More magic tricks. And tell me, how does one see thunder?

These magic tricks wouldn't work today, but back 3000 years ago, people were very ignorant, naïve and superstitious.

_Torah:_ The people told Moses, "Speak to us yourself, but don't let God speak to us. If he does, we will die."

_My note:_ I don't believe the people ever said any such thing. I think most people would like to hear from God directly.

I just thought of something. If God eats something, then he breaks wind, does that cause hurricanes and typhoons? Is there anything we can give God to keep him from breaking wind?

_Torah:_ Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid. God is putting you to the test. He wants you to respect him. That will stop you from sinning."

Moses approached the heavy darkness where God was.

_My note:_ Now Yahweh is hiding in the dark.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said to Moses, "Make an altar out of dirt for me. Make your sacrifices on it. If you make an altar from stones, don't use blocks of stones. Also, don't walk up steps to my altar, because someone might see your naked body underneath your robes."

_My note:_ Why is this in the Bible, about seeing naked bodies? Is it because it's like FoxNews or CNN, to increase ratings (in other words, to get more people interested in reading the Bible)? Or did the devil put this in the Bible, as another joke?

In his infinite wisdom and glory, almighty God sayeth unto Moses, "Don't walk up steps to my altar, because someone might see your naked body underneath your robes."

[EXODUS 21]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Here are some laws you must explain to the Israelites.

"First, if you buy a Hebrew slave, he must serve you for six years. Set him free in the seventh year. He does not need to pay you anything."

_My note:_ You can't buy Hebrew slaves anymore, in the modern world.

Why not? If Yahweh said it was okay, who was anyone to say Yahweh was wrong?

And if you could buy Hebrew slaves today, how much would they cost? How much would you be willing to pay for a Hebrew slave, like Jerry Springer, Steven Spielberg or Billy Joel, who wrote a song trying to convince an entire generation of Catholic girls that they should have sex before marriage, and he did it by making fun of them?

Isn't that the way the biggest scumbag guys operate when they want a woman to have sex with them? They make fun of the woman and make her feel so bad about herself that she gives in?

Billy Joel has a lot of songs where he makes fun of people.

As for Steven Spielberg, in the movie E.T. (a children's movie), one of the lines in the movie (spoken by a child) was when the child said to another child that he had "penis breath".

What kind of talk is that to use in a children's movie? And you know that the movie had to go through multiple edits before it was finalized, which means that dozens and dozens of times, that phrase was approved.

What was Spielberg thinking?

Then there's the worst of them all, Jerry Springer, who on his daily TV show brings into American homes adultery, bestiality, incest, infidelity, pedophilia, pornography, prostitution, racism, and strange fetishes, and on almost every show, he teaches the audience that it's okay to be violent. Springer has probably done more to corrupt this country's morals than anyone, and he has probably done more to exacerbate female violence than anyone.

This is exactly the kind of behavior by Jews that Hitler complained about in his book, "Mein Kampf" (of course, there's a lot of good Jewish people, but the rotten ones ruin it for the good ones, just like the rotten Catholic priests ruined it for the good Catholic priests).

Not only that, Jerry Springer's show loves to depict blacks as oversexed, irresponsible, perverted, promiscuous fools, which reinforces the worst of black stereotypes and tells America, by implication, that it's okay to dump on blacks because they're nothing but trash anyway.

How much would you give to own a slave like Jerry Springer? And what would you do with him once you got him?

Some people might object that I'm taking issue with the actions of some Jews. Yet the Jews at _The New York Times_ and the _Boston Globe_ frequently tell the Catholic Church how to run its business, and they tell the Catholic people how they should act—so as someone who grew up Catholic, it's only fair that I should be able to tell the Jews how to run their business, and how they should act.

Fair's fair, right? And the Jewish people love to think of themselves as fair. (Their god certainly wasn't fair. He was a savage bully, not only to others, but to the Israelites themselves.)

Of course, Jerry Springer can say he got all his ideas from the Torah, and that's why so many people watch him—and there may be some truth to that.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If the slave didn't have a wife when you bought him, he must be set free alone. If he did have a wife, she must also be set free when the slave is set free.

"If the master gives the slave a wife, and they have children, only the man will go free. The women and children will still belong to the master.

"If the slave says, 'I love my master, my wife and my children. I don't want to go free', then the master must take the slave to the judges. The slave must then be taken to the door or doorpost of his master's home, and his master must poke a hole through the slave's earlobe into the door or doorpost. Then he will become a slave for life."

_My note:_ In other words, the Hebrew slave can either leave his wife and children, or stay with them, but then he has to remain a slave for life.

What kind of a choice is that? It's not fair, which means once again that Yahweh (or the authors of this part of the Bible) wasn't fair. It also means that people who read this part of the Bible have all these unfair ideas in their heads, and they believe these ideas come from a real god—and not only a real god, but the one and only God.

Does that mean that Jews and Protestants, on average, aren't as fair as Catholics, since many Catholics don't read much of the Old Testament?

I don't know. Maybe someone should do a study.

One other thing. Do you think that the all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, high, mighty and exalted God of all the universe had nothing better to do than say things like, "The slave must then be taken to the door or doorpost of his master's home, and his master must poke a hole through the slave's earlobe..."?

Wouldn't a real God (if there was a single god) have better things to do than talk about poking holes in earlobes?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If a man sells his daughter to be a slave, she can't go free like male slaves do. But if the master who bought her doesn't like her, the master must let her father buy her back. The master cannot sell her to strangers. He made a promise to her, and he has broken it."

_My note:_ In some parts of the world, parents might actually be so desperate that they have to sell one child to get money to feed their other children. Unfortunately, most American men don't care about that nearly as much as they care about their baseball, football, basketball, hockey or golf games—or their pornography. And many American women are just as bad with their makeup, tummy tucks, soap operas and cooking shows.

On the other hand, if we brought back slavery to the United States, but the law was that the only ones who could become slaves were desperate people in third-world countries who are almost certainly going to die if they don't get help, then Americans would be flocking to buy these people, not out of the goodness of their hearts, but because they'd like to own a slave to do some of the tedious work around their homes.

So what should the law be? Allow slavery, and save the lives of many people? Or don't allow slavery, and many people will die?

Most Americans would rather let people die, apparently.

Of course, the law could be that the desperate people can only be slaves for a certain period of time, and then they get to be set free, and they automatically become citizens of the U.S. If that was the proposal, would Americans be willing to have such a law to save millions of people?

I know one thing. If the law was that you could own a child slave, and you could also have sex with that child any time you wanted, perverted Americans would save about a million children in the FIRST WEEK of the program. And everyone knows I'm right about that, but a lot of people hate to admit it.

America can't call itself a great country until it saves as many children—without making them sex slaves—as it would save if the children could become sex slaves. But in America, there is no free speech on this subject, because it would embarrass America too much.

Apparently, most Americans would rather let desperate people die than let the truth about America be exposed.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man chooses another man's daughter to marry his son, the man must grant her the rights of a daughter. If the son also marries a second woman, he must still give the first woman her food and clothes, and make love to her. If he doesn't give her those three things, she can go free. She need not pay anything."

_My note:_ Basically, Yahweh says polygamy is okay, and that wives have a right to sex.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If anyone hits and kills another person, he will be put to death. But suppose he didn't do it on purpose. Suppose I [God] let it happen. Then he can escape to a place chosen by me."

_My note:_ How does one prove that Yahweh let it happen? Isn't it possible that some supernatural source, such as the spirits of our ancestors—cause all things to happen?

There's no way to prove it, one way or the other.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If anyone attacks his father or mother, he will be put to death."

_My note:_ What if the father or mother deserved to be attacked?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If anyone kidnaps another person, he will be put to death, even if the person kidnapped has not yet been sold."

_My note:_ But what if the person is an evil person who bullies an entire neighborhood, and gets teenagers hooked on heroin, and turns women into prostitutes, and the police can't do anything about it because this man has rights, and because this man has paid off the police and the district attorney? Shouldn't it be okay to kidnap such a person, find out where all his money is, get the money and distribute it to his victims, then cut the man's head off?

But if you do such a thing, the police and the district attorney have a hissy fit, unless the man got one of the policeman's daughters hooked on heroin, and turned her into a prostitute, and suddenly the police know exactly what to do, because the police take care of their own—but they won't protect your children as well as they protect their own children, because if they do, they can get into trouble, and then their own children will be vulnerable if the police officer goes to prison. So they leave your children vulnerable, and you take it because you've been turned into a sheep, so if your child dies from a heroin overdose, you're supposed to shrug your shoulders, shed some tears, then "let it go."

Do you see anything wrong with this picture?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If anyone invokes a curse against his father or mother, he must be put to death."

_My note:_ Another stupid rule. I would guess that at least 10% of American parents deserve to be cursed—and any American parent who screams that I'm wrong is almost certainly one of that 10%.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If two men get into a fight and one hits the other with his fist or a stone, but only injures him, the man who inflicted the injury must pay the man who is hurt for the time it takes the man to heal."

_My note:_ What if the man who hits the other man with a fist or stone didn't start the fight, and he was losing, and he thought his life was in jeopardy?

Also, notice that Yahweh doesn't say anything about bullets, because he didn't even know what a bullet was.

What kind of god doesn't even know what a bullet is? Even little kids know what a bullet is.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man beats his male or female slave to death with a club, he must be punished. But he won't be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, because the slave is his property."

_My note:_ This statement by Yahweh—that it's okay to beat your slaves—gave approval to American slave owners who wanted to beat their slaves. But if Yahweh says it's okay to beat slaves, why would American slaves, once they were free, worship such a god, and why would their descendants worship such a god?

Brainwashed!

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If some men are fighting and one of them hits a pregnant woman and causes her to lose the child, but the woman isn't injured in some other way, the person who hurt her must be fined whatever the woman's husband demands, so long as the judges approve. But if the woman herself is injured, the punishment shall be a life for a life, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for a foot, a burn for a burn, a wound for a wound, a bruise for a bruise.

_My note:_ This suggests that Yahweh (or those pretending there is a Yahweh) doesn't consider unborn children to be fully human. Isn't that a pro-choice position?

Also, Yahweh's eye-for-an-eye method of justice has been overturned by those who think they are smarter than Yahweh. Are they?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If someone later hits his male or female slave in the eye and puts it out, he must free the slave in payment for the eye. If he knocks out a tooth, he must free the slave in payment for the tooth."

_My note:_ What about if the slave steals his owner's cell phone or computer? And why, in the entire Bible, doesn't the all-knowing Israelite god tell us how to cure cancer?

Shouldn't we be teaching children how the body works, and how cells and viruses and bacteria work, rather than teaching them about how to treat one's slaves, or what to do after you've punched out your slave's eyes and teeth?

What kind of Bible is this, anyway?

On the planet where I come from, the Bible teaches children how to be nice to each other, and how to cooperate to solve important problems—not what the punishment should be if you gouge out the eye of your slave.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a bull gores someone to death, it must be stoned to death, and its flesh must not be eaten. But its owner should not be punished unless the bull had a habit of attacking people and its owner did not keep it in a pen. Then, if it gores someone to death, it must be stoned to death, and its owner must also be put to death...."

_My note:_ Here he is, once again, the great and mighty Lord of All Creation, master of the universe, telling people to keep their bulls locked up if they're in the habit of attacking people. Nothing about how to make an internal combustion engine; or how to make insect repellant; or even how to make a chain saw.

This is real important stuff for America's inner-city children, or those trying to prepare for college, knowing they should lock up their bulls.

And another thing. Why kill the bull and not eat him? That's stupid. You should at least eat the bull, so you don't waste food. Even I know that. Why doesn't Yahweh know that?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If the bull kills a male or female slave, the bull's owner must pay the slave's owner thirty pieces of silver, and the bull must be stoned to death."

_My note:_ This law is even more useless than the part about the bull pen.

Say something useful, Yahweh!

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person takes the cover off a pit, or if he digs a pit and does not cover it, and a bull or donkey falls into it, he must pay for the animal. He may keep the dead animal."

_My note:_ Why does the Bible talk so much about bulls and donkeys, but it never talks about the internet?

Answer: Because Yahweh never even heard about the Internet.

What kind of an all-knowing god never heard of the Internet?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If someone's bull kills someone else's bull, the two of them must sell the live bull and divide the money...."

_My note:_ Enough about bulls already. All these laws about animals that most people today don't even own is why the Bible is boring in so many places.

What happens if someone steals your identity? Should you throw the person in a pit and fill up the pit with cement? Or maybe toss the person into a swimming pool filled with piranha?

Yahweh, what do you think? Come out, come out, wherever you are!
Hey, dog, don't pee on that bush. It could be GOD!

[EXODUS 22]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If a man steals an ox or a sheep, and he kills it or sells it...

_My note:_ See how useless the Bible gets?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If you catch a thief breaking into your house, and you kill him, you are not guilty of murder. But if it happens after the sun has come up, you ARE guilty of murder.

"A thief must pay for what he steals, but if he owns nothing, he must be sold to pay for what he has stolen."

_My note:_ If a thief could pay for what he has stolen, he probably wouldn't have stolen it in the first place.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If the stolen ox, donkey or sheep is found alive with the man, blah, blah, blah....

"If a man lets livestock eat grass, blah, blah, blah....

"If a fire breaks out and spreads, and burns grain that is still growing, or burns the whole field, the one who started the fire must pay the loss."

_My note:_ Under American the law, the one who started the fire must first get a lawyer, deny he started the fire, have his lawyer make it look like everything the plaintiff/prosecution is saying is a lie, have his lawyer try to get the case thrown out on a technicality, and try to drag out the case for five to ten years so witnesses can die and the man can't be held liable.

The law 3000 years ago makes much more sense than the law today.

And do you know why the law is what it is today?

Very often, because of the money. The laws exist, very often, to keep lawyers in business, although some of it is due to the fact that obsessive-compulsives with inferiority complexes create the laws, or serve as judges, and they live in their own little worlds, and in the case of judges, they can't be held responsible for any mistakes they make, even if they kill someone or destroy people's lives.

In China (until recently, at least), if you built a defective building that collapsed and killed people, there was a good chance you'd be put to death. If you deliberately sold bad food that killed people, there was a good chance you'd be put to death. If you committed an aggravated rape, there was a good chance you'd be put to death.

Which way is better, our way, or theirs?

Pretty soon, China's laws may rule this country, because China's economy is growing faster than America's, and Chinese leaders are more responsible in their spending than American leaders, so before long, China will be able to buy up more and more American companies, or if they get impatient, they'll be able to shut down the U.S. economy with a cyber attack, and Americans will be left sitting at home reading their Bibles to find out how many bulls to sacrifice to get out of the mess they're in.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man gives his neighbor silver or other things to keep safe, and the things are stolen from the neighbor's house, and the thief is caught, he must pay back twice what he stole.

"If the thief is not found, the neighbor who was holding the property must go before the judges, who will decide whether the neighbor who was holding the property is the one who stole it....

"If a man has an ox, donkey, sheep or any other animal that he gives to his neighbor for safekeeping, and the animal dies or gets hurt, or it is stolen when no one is looking, the problem will be settled by the neighbor taking an oath to God that he did not injure or steal the other person's property...."

_My note:_ Many people today lie under oath. The potential anger of Yahweh no longer intimidates many people into telling the truth.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If the animal was torn to pieces by a wild animal....

"If a man borrows an animal from his neighbor....

"If a man meets a virgin who is not engaged, and he seduces her into having sex, he must pay her father the price for a bride, and he must marry her."

_My note:_ If a man gives a woman a false promise of marriage to get sex from her, or if he intimidates a woman into having sex, or if he rapes her, he should be neutered or put to death. If a woman has sex with a man to try to get pregnant and force the man into a marriage, the man should get the child (if he wants the child) and the woman should be neutered so she doesn't do the same thing to another man.

The problem with any rule in these cases is that it's hard to prove what happened, which is why polygraphs should be required if necessary, although their results shouldn't be considered conclusive.

(Eyewitness testimony is routinely allowed in criminal trials, even though it is notoriously unreliable. Which is more unreliable, polygraphs, or eyewitness testimony? And what about the new MRI polygraphs? Aren't those better than traditional polygraphs? If so, is it feasible to give them in important cases? And if polygraphs didn't have at least some usefulness, why do the FBI and CIA give polygraphs to their own agents?)

And once again, is all this talk about sex in the Bible a good thing to be teaching children?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If the father absolutely refuses to give his daughter to the man who seduced her, the man must still pay the father the price the man would pay to marry a virgin."

_My note:_ Once again, this treats women like they are property. This has changed in modern America, but children are still treated like they are property, which is why, in a divorce, one of the parents gets "custody", because the child is still considered property.

One of the reasons a woman should be married when she has a child is to make sure the child has two parents. That way, if one of the parents is abusing the child, the other parent can put a stop to the abuse (ideally). If there is only one parent, and that parent is an abuser (and most of the child abuse in the U.S. is committed by women, not men), then it's much easier for the abusive parent to get away with the abuse.

The rule should be that if a woman gets pregnant and she's not married, and then has the child and she still isn't married, and she has no way of supporting the child, other than through the government (i.e., through a burden placed on others), then the woman should be presumed to be unfit to be a mother, and the child should be taken away from her, and she should be neutered. That may sound harsh, but it's necessary to protect children.

Unfortunately, children don't vote, and American politicians will routinely bend over backwards to try to get votes from irresponsible men and women, which means they won't pass laws which will force such people to act responsibly. Ultimately, it's the children who pay the price, so something needs to be done to protect them.

There's one major problem with such an approach: if the children are taken from the mother, where will the children go? To a foster home? That won't work as things currently stand, since too many American foster homes are no good—and there's no way the U.S. government, or the state governments, are going to greatly improve the foster homes, because most people in the legislatures don't care very much about children. So that needs to be fixed.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't let a woman who does evil magic stay alive. She must be put to death."

_My note:_ What about Ouija boards, Lord? Are those okay? And I know a woman who reads palms. She's a nice woman. Does she fall under this category? Or does this rule apply only to Israelite women?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Anyone who has sex with an animal must be put to death."

_My note:_ Let's see. There are three categories: (1) animal; (2) vegetable; (3) mineral. Since the Bible says don't have sex with an animal, and most people don't want to have sex with a mineral, the only thing left is to have sex with a... vegetable!

But what kind of vegetable? Beans? Carrots? Peas?

(When I was little, I used to think the song, "Silent Night", ended with the words, "Sleep in heavenly peas, sleep in heavenly peas." The thing was, I didn't like peas, so no matter how much I worked the idea over in my mind, I couldn't come up with an image of peas that would be so heavenly that I would want to sleep in them.)

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Anyone who sacrifices to any god other than me must be destroyed."

_My note:_ Why can't Yahweh destroy the person himself? Why is he always getting people to do his dirty work? If he's all-powerful, he should be able to do it himself.

Again, this prohibition is designed to make sure that the Israelite high priests get the sacrifices (grain, wine, animals and other wealth), and that those sacrifices don't go to the high priests of some other god (you'll see more proof of this in Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy).

This is like the Mafia. Yahweh says, "Give your payola to me, no one else. If you give to someone else, you'll die."

You see? Yahweh (or the authors of the Torah, pretending there is a god) is even worse than a leg-breaking extortionist.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't treat foreigners badly. Don't beat them. Remember that you were foreigners in Egypt.

"Don't take advantage of widows or orphans. If you do, they might cry out to me, and I will certainly hear them. I will become very angry. I will kill you with a sword. Your wife will become a widow. Your children will become orphans."

_My note:_ Here, Yahweh says he'll kill people with a sword, never with a gun, because Yahweh didn't even know what a gun was. And he didn't know what a computer was. In fact, he didn't even know what a guitar was, or a yo-yo.

Even little kids know what a yo-yo is. How can Yahweh be all-knowing, if he doesn't even know what a yo-yo is?

"Hey, Yahweh, how come you don't know what a yo-yo is?"

"You better shut up. I'm warning you."

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If you lend money to an Israelite who is in need, don't charge interest."

_My note:_ Oh-oh. How many Jewish people who lend money to other Jewish people charge interest? Aren't all those who charge interest disobeying Yahweh? Doesn't that mean that most, if not all, of the current bankers in Israel are disobeying Yahweh?

When they disobey Yahweh, aren't they putting all Jews in danger (as it clearly says in Leviticus 26)?

Of course, the Jews who owe the money will start saying, "Yeah, how come you're charging me interest? Do you want Yahweh to send us another Holocaust, you idiot?"

"No more interest! No more interest! No more interest!"

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If your neighbor owes you money and gives you a coat as collateral for the loan, return the coat by sunset. The coat is the only thing he has to wear or sleep in. When he cries out, I will listen, because I am loving and kind."

_My note:_ How does Yahweh know the person has only one coat? Maybe he has two coats, or ten coats.

And when Yahweh says, "I am loving and kind", you might ask him, "What about all the Egyptian children you murdered? What about all the Israelites you murdered? What about all the other innocent women and children you murdered? What about the time when you killed everyone on the planet except for Noah and his family? That's not being loving and kind."

"You better shut up, or I'll zap you with lightning."

"Go ahead and try."

"I will, as soon as I find my lightning zapper."

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't speak evil things against me. Don't call down a curse on the leader of the Israelites."

_My note:_ Doesn't this suggest that Yahweh is thin-skinned? He's like a leader of a gang who is enormously insecure. He can't take a joke. If anyone criticizes him, he'll kill the person. He's a homicidal sociopath.

Then again, if I was a god, I think I also might want to kill people who said something bad about me, so I guess I can empathize with Yahweh on this one.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't hold back your grain and wine offerings."

_My note:_ Another advertisement to benefit Moses and the high priests.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "You must give me your oldest sons. Do the same with your cattle and sheep. Let them stay with their mothers for seven days, but on the eighth day, give them to me."

_My note:_ As we have seen, Yahweh (or the authors, pretending there is a Yahweh) wants the oldest sons so the parents can buy them back, which is basically extortion, and payment of ransom.

Not even the Mafia gets as greedy as Yahweh (or as the authors, pretending there is a Yahweh).

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't eat the meat of any animal that has been torn apart by wild animals. Throw it to the dogs."

_My note:_ The great Lord of all creation has come unto man and spoken to him, and in his glory he sayeth unto the man, "Don't eat the meat of any animal that has been torn apart by wild animals. Throw it to the dogs."

[EXODUS 23]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Don't spread false reports."

_My note:_ Does that include the false report published in _The New York Times_ , written by reporter Judith Miller, which served as one of the reasons why the United States invaded Iraq? That false report said Iraq was developing nuclear weapons, even though _The New York Times_ had information that Iraq was not developing nuclear weapons.

Miller's false report was cited on television by Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell and Donald Rumsfeld as a partial basis for going to war.

Maybe this violation of one of God's rules by Judith Miller and the _Times_ , because it ultimately led to the deaths of more than 100,000 Iraqi citizens and the deaths of more than 4,000 U.S. servicemen and women, and more than 30,000 wounded, will be sufficient to send the Jews into another Holocaust. Thanks a lot, Judy. You and _The New York Times_ are real sweethearts.

(Judith Miller now goes by the name "Judy Miller", and she works for FoxNews.)

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't help an evil person by telling lies in court."

_My note:_ If some god would actually punish people for telling lies in court, a lot of people would be in big trouble.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't follow the crowd when they are doing wrong."

_My note:_ "Don't follow the crowd when they are doing wrong"?

This is a good rule that was developed more than 3000 years ago, so why do people still disobey it? In fact, most Christians don't even know about this rule.

Then there's all those American leaders who knew that U.S.-supported sanctions against Iraq were killing hundreds of thousands of little kids, but those leaders "followed the crowd" of the Clinton and Bush administrations and did nothing about this Holocaust against Iraqi children.

America's sin was far greater than the sins of the Germans from 1938-1945, because in Germany, if anyone had protested against the death camps, they risked being imprisoned or killed themselves. By contrast, in America, no one would have been harmed if they tried to put a halt to the U.S.-supported sanctions that were killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children.

Some people will argue that Saddam Hussein was responsible for the deaths of all those children, but once the U.S. government knew that children were dying, it should have changed the sanctions. By not doing so, it became responsible for the deaths of 500,000 or more children—and it became responsible for the consequences, including the attack on the U.S. on 9/11/2001.

There were some people who tried to put a stop to the sanctions: Congressman Dennis Kucinich, John Conyers, and others. Those are the people who know right from wrong regarding the lives of innocent children. Not knowing right from wrong, as in the case of the Clintons, George W. Bush, Madeleine Albright, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, the people who control the mainstream media, and others, is a sign of insanity. So why do those people run the country?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "When you are a witness in court, don't turn right into wrong.... In court, don't show favor to a poor person.

"If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey wandering away, be sure to take it back to him."

_My note:_ Why didn't this all-knowing Yahweh tell the Israelites how to make rubber chariot wheels? That would have been a huge improvement over the chariot wheels that were in use at the time.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If you see that a donkey of someone you hate has fallen down under its load, don't leave it there. Be sure you help him with it."

_My note:_ What about if a person collapses on the sidewalk? Why no rule about what to do in that situation? (Most Americans would ignore the person, but you almost never hear about an American leaving a donkey on the ground. And if a whale washes up on a beach, hundreds of people will go to the beach to help the whale. But if a person collapses on a sidewalk on most American big-city streets, most people will simply walk by the person and leave the person there to suffer or die.)

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Be fair to poor people in their court cases. Don't have anything to do with a false charge. Don't put to death those who are innocent. I will not let those who are guilty of such a crime go free."

_My note:_ Yahweh lies once again, since a lot of them do go free, at least in this life.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't take money from people who want special favors. It makes you blind to the truth. It twists the words of otherwise godly people...."

_My note:_ Congressmen and presidential candidates get huge amounts of money from people who want special favors. It makes these Congressmen and presidential candidates (and later, the presidents themselves) blind to the truth. It will even twist the words of otherwise godly people (although Congress isn't overflowing with godly people, to the best of my knowledge; they all go to church or temple, though, to pretend they are godly).

More than 3000 years after this rule was issued, people still haven't listened; they still violate this rule, in a huge way.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "For six years, plant your fields and gather your crops, but during the seventh year don't plow your land or use it. Then the poor people can get food from it. The wild animals can eat what's left over. Do the same things with your vineyards and groves of olive trees."

_My note:_ My vineyards and groves of olive trees? What the heck are you talking about, God of the most high? I don't have any vineyards or groves of olive trees, and neither do most other Americans. I don't have fields where I grow my crops. I don't have any crops.

I want to know how to keep the price of gasoline down. I want to know how to stop severe climate change. I want to know how to keep an asteroid from hitting the earth. I want to know how to turn America, which is completely delusional about some critical issues, into a non-delusional country.

How come you don't weigh in on those issues, God of heaven and earth? And I'll tell you why. Because you didn't even see those things coming, did you?

And another thing. How come you didn't know about crop rotation? Did you know that millions of people in this world could have been saved, if only you had told them about crop rotation?

And then there's algebra. How come you never talk about algebra, oh God of wonder and might? I bet you don't know anything at all about algebra, do you?

What kind of a god doesn't know anything about algebra? Even a lot of kids know about algebra by the time they get to eighth grade—which means you're not even as smart as a lot of America's children on that one, either, almighty Lord.

Hey? Are you smarter than a fifth grader, Lord of heaven and earth?

"You better shut up. I'm warning you."

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Do all your work in six days. Don't do any work on the seventh day. Then your animals can rest. Your slaves can rest. And so can the foreigners."

_My note:_ I don't have any slaves, Lord of Power and Glory. And what about all this trafficking in people around the world? If the traffickers know for sure that they'll die if they're caught, wouldn't that stop a lot of them? Why aren't you doing anything about that?

The American FBI will spend substantial amounts of money looking for stolen paintings. That's money that could be used to stop trafficking in people.

What's more important to the FBI, paintings, or people?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Be careful to do everything I told you. Don't use the names of other gods. Don't even let their names come to your lips."

_My note:_ This is the rule for the Israelites. Since I'm not an Israelite, this rule doesn't apply to me (nor do any of the other rules, since I'm not an Israelite).

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Three times a year you must celebrate a feast in my honor.... You must not come to worship me with your hands empty."

_My note:_ Another commandment slipped in by the high priests to get some more food and items of value.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Celebrate the Feast of Weeks. Bring the first share of your crops from your field.

"Celebrate the Feast of Booths. Hold it in the fall when you gather your crops from the field.

"Three times a year, all of your men must come to worship me....

"Bring the best of the first share of your crops to my house. I am the Lord your God."

_My note:_ You're not the Lord. You're a bunch of greedy high priests, trying to pull a fast one on a bunch of poor, naïve, and superstitious people. Besides, if you were all-knowing, you would have known that at some point in the future, most people wouldn't even have crops.

"Then bring us cash. I mean, bring ME cash!"

"Aha! You said us! I knew it was you sneaky high priests!"

"QUIET! The great Oz has spoken!"

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't cook a goat in its mother's milk."

_My note:_ What about microwave ovens, Lord? In the entire Bible, there's not one word about microwave ovens. I bet you didn't even know what they were, did you?

Even little kids know about microwave ovens, which means, once again, that little kids are smarter than you!

Hey, maybe you're a little kid yourself! How old are you, little kid who thinks he's God?

Hey, maybe that's why you keep hiding from people, because you're a shy little kid who is wearing diapers!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "I am sending an angel ahead of you. He will protect you and bring you to the place I prepared. Do what he says. Don't rebel against him. If you obey him and do what I say, I will fight against your enemies.

"My angel will go to the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Canaanites and others, and I will destroy them. Don't worship their gods or adopt their religious practices."

_My note:_ Notice again that Yahweh doesn't say these other gods don't exist; he just says, don't worship them. Plus, Yahweh doesn't say that the Amorites, Hittites and Canaanites did anything wrong. He just says he's going to steal their land, and destroy them.

That's Mafia talk again, being the biggest bully on the block, and killing anyone who gets in your way.

Why would people worship a god who is like a Mafia don?

(Answer: For the same reason people submit to a real Mafia don. Fear, and because they get certain benefits from being associated with the biggest bullying organization on the block.)

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Destroy the statues of their gods [the gods of the Amorites, Hittites, Canaanites, etc.] and break up their sacred stones. If you worship me, I will bless you with food and water and remove all your sicknesses. All women will have children, no woman will have miscarriages, and you will live long lives."

_My note:_ These promises of Yahweh are bigger lies than the promises of American politicians.

"If you worship me, I will bless you with food and water and remove all your sicknesses. All women will have children, no woman will have miscarriages, and you will live long lives."

There are more than two billion people who worship Yahweh, who they call, simply, "God". Are they always blessed with food and water? No. Does Yahweh remove all their sicknesses? No. Do all the women have children? No. Are all the women free from miscarriages? No. Do they all live long lives? No.

So you see? It's all a pack of lies.

You'd think that if Yahweh was going to lie, he'd be good at it. After all, he is the main man, right?

But no, he's a lousy liar, he tells stupid lies, every person who knows about his promises knows they are lies (unless the person is delusional), and yet, billions of people continue to worship this third-rate liar. Why?

Because he's the only god in town, for most people. Over the years, the advertising of his high priests (and the advertising of the rabbis, Catholic clergy and Protestant ministers) was so good that people now believe there are no other gods, even though the Bible itself lists dozens of other gods, and the Bible itself clearly indicates that all these other gods do exist.

And why do today's rabbis, priests and ministers want you to believe there is only one god, even though the Bible itself admits there are many other gods?

Because of the money, as we have seen. And this greed extends all the way up to the Pope himself, who is said to be infallible in faith and morals, even though he doesn't even know that there are numerous situations where men should wear condoms.

If you don't know something as simple as that, you've been deceived by the teachings of your own church, which means you need to un-deceive yourself. But most people don't know how to un-deceive themselves, because they don't know they've been deceived to begin with.

You've almost certainly been deceived if you're a member of the U.S. military who fought in Iraq, because you weren't fighting there to protect the United States, but to protect Israel.

You've almost certainly been deceived if you're a member of many religious organizations in the world.

You've absolutely been deceived if you're an American and you believe such silly things as "Democracy is the best form of government", because if democracy is the best form of government, why aren't corporations democratic? Why aren't military organizations democratic? Why aren't government agencies democratic? And if you're a parent of young children, you almost certainly don't have a democratic home, because if you did, and you had three children and only two adults, the children would rule!

Americans are taught to love democracy, but would Americans like for the world to be a democracy? No, because then America would have less than 5% of the vote (because it has less than 5% of the world's population). And if America had less than 5% of the vote, the majority of the people in the world might vote to take enough wealth from America that they and their children get enough to eat every day. And many Americans wouldn't like that at all, especially if they had to give up their BMW's and Lexuses and instead drive Hyundais or Fords just so some little black kid or Asian kid or Central American kid can get enough to eat.

Americans are deceived all over the place, as are most other people. And Americans are massively ignorant, not because they are inherently stupid, but because the people on top don't want Americans to get a good education, as we have seen.

If the people on top truly wanted Americans to be smart, they'd offer all Americans top-notch college educations for $200 per course, which would be enormously easy to do, now that we have the internet and huge numbers of channels on Cable TV. But even most college professors would be opposed to that, because...?

Because of the money. Under that kind of system, one professor could teach a million people, which would mean...?

It would mean that thousands of other professors would lose their jobs, because they would no longer be needed, so...?

So the professors, and many other people in businesses around the world, create lies to maintain the status quo. This deception is everywhere. The deceivers fill your brain with half-truths, quarter-truths, eighth-truths, and many outright lies, and teach you what they want you to know to make you a good little robot. Governments do it to citizens, clergy do it to laity, men do it to women, women do it to men, adults do it to children, some children even do it to other children.

If you want to get rid of all the lies you've been subjected to, it's not easy. Perhaps the only way is to go and listen to a three-year-old child who hasn't had his/her brain taken over yet.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "I will make the people who oppose you afraid of me."

_My note:_ If recent history in the Middle East has shown us anything, it's that the people who oppose Israel are certainly not afraid of Yahweh.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "I will make the people you fight confused. I will make your enemies turn and run from you. I will cause your enemies to panic. I will drive out your enemies as you move forward, but I will do it little by little, so the land won't become deserted, which would leave too many wild animals for you to contend with. I will make your borders secure from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean and from the desert to the Euphrates River."

_My note:_ More false promises. Plus, if Yahweh can drive out the Israelite's enemies, certainly he can drive out the wild animals, if he's all-powerful.

Also, Yahweh still hasn't given the Jews all the way from the Red Sea to the Euphrates River. Is that what the Jews intend to get? I know that's what some Jews want, because they believe that Yahweh gave it to them.

What about it, Yahweh? It's been more than 3000 years, and you still haven't kept your promises to the Jews. Do you know how many pious Jews died waiting for you to keep your end of the bargain? How many pious Jews suffered, believing you would come through in the end?

You're no good, Mr. god of the Israelites. You're not a man of your word. You're a lot of big talk, but when it comes down to delivering on your promises, you don't.

"I will... tomorrow."

"Poppycock!"

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't make any agreements with the people you displace, or with any of their gods. Don't let those people live in your land. If you do, they will make you sin against me. If you worship their gods, that will be a fatal trap for you."

_My note:_ In the modern world, this would translate as, "Do not make any agreements with the Palestinians, and don't let those people live in Israel."

Once again, the major reason for this prohibition by Yahweh—especially where it says, "Do not make agreements... with any of their gods"—is so the high priests of some other god don't start cutting into the income of the Israelite high priests (or in the modern world, the rabbis).

[EXODUS 24]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "You, Aaron, Nadab, Abihu and 70 of the elders of Israel must come up the mountain, but don't come close when you worship. Only you, Moses, can come close. The people must not come up the mountain."

_My note:_ What's the big deal about the people coming up the mountain to see Yahweh?

This is like _The Wizard of Oz_ , when Dorothy and her friends reach Emerald City.

Doorman: "... State your business!"  
Dorothy and others: "We want to see the wizard."  
Doorman: "Oooh! The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!"  
Dorothy: "Well, then—how do you know there is one?"  
Doorman: "Because he—I—Oh, you're wasting my time!"

It should be no big deal for the Israelite leaders to meet with Yahweh, unless he doesn't exist.

_Torah:_ Moses told the Israelites what God had commanded. The Israelites replied, "We will do what God said." Then Moses wrote down everything God had told him.

The next morning, Moses built an altar at the foot of the mountain. He set up twelve stones, one for each of the tribes of Israel. Then he sent some young men to make burnt offerings to God, and to sacrifice some cattle. Moses took half the blood of the animals and put it in bowls. The other half he sprinkled on the altar.

Then Moses took the book of the covenant and read it to the people. They said, "We will obey God and do what he has commanded."

Moses then took the remaining blood and sprinkled it on the people. He said, "This is the blood that seals the covenant that God made with you."

_My note:_ Superstitious ritual. And why would the people need the covenant to be sealed? Wasn't it already a binding covenant?

Another thing. How come rabbis, ministers and priests no longer sprinkle blood on people? I bet if they did—if they killed bulls and goats and sheep on the altar—that would be a lot more interesting to the children in their congregations than the boring stuff they do now. Kids would want to come to church or temple. Plus, the congregations would learn how to slaughter animals, which could come in handy some day.

Most of the stuff you learn in church or temple is useless. Learning how to kill a large animal, and skin it, and cut it into pieces, could prove very useful once China or Iran hits the U.S. with a cyber attack, and shuts off all our electricity, and there will be no more meat except meat that comes from animals you catch on your own.

_Torah:_ Moses, Aaron, Nadab, Abihu and the seventy elders of Israel went up the mountain. They saw the God of Israel. Beneath his feet was what looked like a road of sapphire, as blue as the sky. God didn't harm these leaders of the Israelites. They saw God, then they ate and drank together.

_My note:_ Garbage. They never saw God, or they would have described what he looked like, since that's one of the things everyone would want to know. But it doesn't say what God looked like. It says what it looked like beneath his feet, but not what God looked like, so it's just another big lie.

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said to Moses, "Come up the mountain to me, and while you are here, I will give you two stone tablets which will contain all the laws I gave to the Israelites."

_My note:_ Again, if Yahweh was at the top of the mountain, how did he communicate with Moses, if Moses wasn't at the top of the mountain? Walkie-talkie? Smoke signals? ESP?

There are people who know the answer to this. They ate from the tree of knowledge, and now they think they know all kinds of things they can't possibly know.

_Torah:_ Moses and his helper Joshua started out. Moses went up the mountain. He told the elders, "Wait here. Anyone who has a problem can go to Aaron or Hur."

_My note:_ Why exclude the elders?

Moses is up to his old tricks again.

Hey, Moses. Where ya goin' with Joshua?

"Shut up, you little punk! Why don't you elders stone this toddler to death!"

So the elders stoned the toddler to death, but more toddlers appeared from other places, and they began asking questions that annoyed Moses and the elders, who tried to buy them off with peaches, apples and oranges, but the kids kept raising their demands, until finally the elders had to give the toddlers automatic weapons, who then used the weapons to overthrow the elders and steal their women.

_Torah:_ Moses went up the mountain. Then a cloud covered it. A bright light of God's presence came down on the mountain. The light looked like a fire burning on top of the mountain. The cloud covered the mountain for six days. On the seventh day, God called to Moses from the cloud. Moses went up the mountain into the cloud, where he stayed for forty days and forty nights.

_My note:_ If the Bible says it's so, it must be so.

[EXODUS 25-27]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Tell the Israelites to bring me an offering from anyone who wishes to give. The offerings should be either gold, silver, different-colored wool, fine linen, goat hair, rams' skins, fine leather, acacia wood, olive oil, various spices, or various jewels."

_My note:_ Do you think the almighty and ever-living God of the universe had nothing better to do than tell Moses he wanted some gifts of goat hair and olive oil?

What would he need the goat hair for? Was he going to make costumes for himself?

Why doesn't he ask for skis, or a tie. A new tie might be nice.

How about a Black and Decker drill, or Craftsman tools? Craftsman tools have a lifetime warranty, and since God is supposed to live forever, that's a pretty good warranty.

Of course, Moses and the high priests wanted all the gifts for themselves, the greedy little con artists.

The Catholic Church has accumulated all kinds of wealth over the centuries. In fact, if a thousand children were dying somewhere in the world, the Catholic Church would rather let them die than sell some object of the Church which could be sold for millions of dollars, and use that money to help the children.

The Catholic Church has numerous such items.

Doesn't that suggest that the Catholic Church is doing exactly what Jesus would NOT do?

The Catholic Church is one of those many organizations in the world which seduce the poor to give to the rich, and the Church itself is "the rich".

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Also, have the people make a tent so I may live among them, and a chest made of acacia wood."

_My note:_ God wants to live in a tent? If God is everywhere, that's going to be the biggest tent in all creation. The Israelites will have to gather up all the matter in the entire universe to get enough material to make that tent.

And why doesn't God make the tent himself? If he can make all the stars and all the planets, surely he can make a simple tent—unless this story is a big lie.

The fact is, this god didn't even know how to build an aircraft carrier. What kind of god doesn't know how to build an aircraft carrier?

_Torah:_ God [allegedly] told Moses how the chest should be made.

_My note:_ You put a piece of wood here, you put a piece of wood there, you put a nail on top, then you bang the nail right in, you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...

Does God still tell people how to make chests? Why didn't the all-powerful and ever-living God tell Moses how to make steel? Or how to make an electrical generator, or an air conditioner?

_Torah:_ Then God said [allegedly], "Put into the chest the two stone tablets I will give you on which the commandments are written."

Then God [allegedly] told Moses to make a table, plates, dishes, pitchers, bowls and a lamp stand out of pure gold. He also [allegedly] told Moses to make a number of curtains, hooks, a covering for the tent, frames for the tent, and a covering of gold for many of the items.

_My note:_ So there's Yahweh, supposedly the most powerful being in all the universe, ignoring the movement of the planets around the sun, and the movement of the solar system inside the galaxy, and the movement of the galaxies inside the universe; instead, he's telling Moses to make him some plates and dishes.

Sure. But notice that Yahweh didn't tell Moses how to make a compound bow, or even antibiotics? Antibiotics would have been a real advantage to the Israelites. But no, Yahweh said nothing about that, because Yahweh didn't know how to make antibiotics. But people today know how to make antibiotics, which means people today are smarter than Yahweh on that subject, too.

_Torah:_ Then God said [allegedly], "Place the ark of the covenant behind the many-colored curtain."

_My note:_ The curtain in _The Wizard of Oz_ was only one color.

Hey, since in Old English, one word for "God" was "Os", maybe when people enter a church or temple they should link their arms together as they walk up the aisle and start singing, "We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Os. We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz, if ever a Wiz there was...".

_Torah:_ God also told Moses to make an altar, a courtyard for the tent, and to bring clean oil made from pressed olives to keep the lamps lit. Aaron and his descendants were given the job of keeping the lamps burning from evening until morning, for all time to come.

_My note:_ Yahweh obviously didn't know that Thomas Edison would come along and make light bulbs, and electrify cities.

[EXODUS 28]

_Torah:_ God also told Moses that Aaron and his sons Nadab, Abiher, Eleazar and Ithamar would serve God as priests, and that the Israelites must make sacred clothes for Aaron and his sons, including linen underwear.

_My note:_ The majestic and omnipotent god of all creation, having finished making the stars, the planets, and all the oceans, plants and animals, is now fine-tuning his creation by describing what type of underwear the Israelites should make for Aaron and his sons.

[EXODUS 29-31]

_Torah:_ God also said [among many other things], "This is what you must do for Aaron and his sons to dedicate them as priests so they can serve me.

"Get a young bull and two rams.... Get the best wheat flour.... Bring the bull to the front of the tent and kill it in my holy presence. Kill one of the rams and burn it on the altar....

"When a priest is being ordained, the breast and thigh of the ram will be set aside for the priests. The breast and thigh will always belong to the priests."

_My note:_ Ah, yes. The fine print. See what happens when you don't read the fine print? You go for 3000 years thinking you're giving your offerings and sacrifices to God, when in fact all you're doing is giving food to the high priests (and later, the rabbis and the Christian clergy).

In the modern world, the rabbis and the Christian clergy changed Yahweh's rules, and instead of wanting bulls and rams, they want cash and checks.

I say give them the bulls, rams, sheep and goats Yahweh said to give them. In no time at all, the clergy will be up to their necks in shit, which would be poetic justice, because for 3000 years they've been filling people's minds with theological manure.

Of course, there are many clergy who do good things, so it's important to separate the good from the bad.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Every day from now on, sacrifice two year-old lambs, one in the morning, and one at night. Also, offer two pounds of fine wheat flour, mixed with one quart of olive oil. Also, add one quart of wine as an offering."

_My note:_ Yes, boss. Okay, boss.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "I will make the tent and the altar holy, and I will live among the Israelites. I will be their God.

"Also, when you count the Israelites, each man must pay me a price for his life so that no disaster will occur to them when they are being counted."

_My note:_ Now the authors of the Torah are really pushing it, don't you think? I mean, this is really getting deep into Mafia territory (pay me so you don't have an accident).

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Each person counted must pay a fifth of an ounce of silver. Each person counted must be twenty years old or more. Both rich and poor will pay this amount. This money will be used for the upkeep of the Sacred Tent."

_My note:_ A fifth of an ounce of silver times 600,000 men is 120,000 ounces of silver. That's quite a take for Moses and the high priests. At today's prices, it would amount to two million U.S. dollars.

_Torah:_ God also told Moses to make anointing oil and incense, using God's own special recipe.

_My note:_ Ah, yes. Now God has his own special recipe. Soon he'll be appearing on "The Chew".

_Torah:_ Then God said, "You must keep the Sabbath day, because it is sacred. You must rest on that day. Whoever does any work on that day shall be put to death."

_My note:_ Well, if we start obeying that commandment, millions of people are surely going to die, especially people who work for television news programs, since there are always people working on television news programs on the Sabbath.

Hmm. Maybe it's not a bad commandment at that.

_Torah:_ After God finished speaking to Moses on Mt. Sinai, he gave Moses two stone tablets on which God himself had written the ten commandments.

_My note:_ God was a chiseler?

[EXODUS 32]

_Torah:_ When the people saw that Moses had stayed a long time on the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, "We don't know what happened to this man Moses, so make us a god to lead us."

Aaron told them, "Get me the gold earrings from your wives, sons and daughters." The people did. Aaron melted the gold and made it into a golden statue that looked like a calf.

_My note:_ See how easy it is to make a god?

_Torah:_ The people said, "Israel, this is our god, who led us out of Egypt."

Aaron built an altar in front of the calf. He said, "Tomorrow will be a feast day to honor God [the calf]."

The next morning, the people brought some animals to burn as sacrifices, and others to eat as friendship offerings. Then they sat down to eat and drink. Afterwards, they danced wildly in front of their new god, the golden calf.

_My note:_ What's wrong with having a little fun?

_Torah:_ God told Moses [allegedly], "Hurry back down the mountain to your people. They have sinned and rejected me. They have made themselves a statue of a god that looks like a calf, and they have worshiped it and offered sacrifices to it. They are saying that this is their god, who led them out of Egypt.

"These people are stubborn," said God. "They have made me angry, and I will destroy them."

_My note:_ Yahweh is going to destroy them just because they made a statue?

Even today, some religions still destroy people for silly reasons, and the American media is all over such religions for such killings, but they never say anything about this statement of Yahweh's, that he will destroy Israelites for making a statue of a god.

It's worth remembering that Yahweh was an invisible force operating behind the scenes for the Israelites, and that Yahweh didn't really exist, it was a small group of writers and others who made people believe that Yahweh existed.

Following the same pattern, a small group of Jews today operates behind the scenes in America, and they try to stay invisible, just like the creators of Yahweh tried to stay invisible. The problem is, in the modern world, they can't stay invisible, and once their machinations become widely known to Americans, the chances soar that a tragedy will happen to all American Jews due to the actions of this small group of dishonest, deceptive Jews who are now trying to manipulate the U.S. to attack Iran and risk the U.S. and world economies. And for what? To protect the Jewish nation of Israel?

Israel isn't a Jewish nation. The so-called Jewish "religion" isn't a religion, it's a confidence scheme. That makes Israel a nation of con artists, and dupes. But what do you think is going to happen once the Jewish cover is blown? Will the rabbis admit the truth? Or will they resort to every trick in the book to try to preserve the lie?

They'll try every trick in the book to try to preserve the lie. That's why the rabbis must all be crucified, which means "nailed to a cross". And what do you get when you nail a rabbi to a cross?

You get a rabbit? See? The "t" is a "cross". And then you announce that the rabbis are really Easter bunnies, and from now on, instead of wearing beanies, they have to wear rabbits' ears, and dress in Playboy outfits.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look at the cute little Easter bunny!"

But what should we do about the Pope? Should we have him pop out of an Easter egg?

_Torah:_ Moses replied, "God, why should you be angry with these people? You used your great power to save them. Why should you allow the Egyptians to say you saved them so you could later destroy them? Stop being angry."

_My note:_ You'd think God would have said, "What did you say to me? Who do you think you are, telling me what to do!?"

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't bring this disaster on your people. Remember your covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

_My note:_ Is it possible that Moses had a multiple personality disorder, where he thought he was both Moses and Yahweh? Or maybe he had a split personality.

Another thing. In the song, "Old McDonald had a Farm", most people can moo like a cow, and meow like a cat, and bark like a dog, and oink like a pig, and quack like a duck, and honk like a goose, and cluck like a chicken, and tweet like a bird, and hee-haw like a donkey, etc., so does that mean all these people have multiple personality disorders? Can the cardinals at the Vatican do all those sounds?

If most ordinary people can do those all sounds, and the cardinals at the Vatican can't, does that mean the people have a mental problem, or that the cardinals have a mental problem?

_Torah:_ Moses went down the mountain with the two stone tablets in his hands. Words were written on both sides of the tablets.

Joshua, who was with Moses, said, "I hear the sound of a battle in the camp."

Moses said, "That's not the sound of battle. It's the sound of singing."

_My note:_ They must have been pretty bad singers.

_Torah:_ As Moses came closer to the camp, he saw the golden calf, and the people dancing. He became very angry. He threw the tablets to the ground. They broke into pieces.

_My note:_ Today, Moses would be sent to an anger management program.

_Torah:_ Then Moses seized the golden calf and melted it, ground it up into powder, and mixed it with water. Then he made the people drink it.

_My note:_ Today, Moses would do ten years for making the people drink the gold.

Wouldn't that bind up their intestines?

Imagine if the people started shitting gold nuggets?

_Torah:_ Moses said to Aaron, "How did these people make you lead them to commit such a horrible sin?"

Aaron said, "Please don't be angry. You know how these people like to do evil. They said, 'We don't know what happened to this man Moses, so make us a god to lead us.' I asked them to bring me their gold ornaments. I threw the ornaments into the fire, and out came the golden calf."

_My note:_ Yes, it just popped out of the fire by itself.

Is Aaron serious? Certainly he could have thought of a better lie than that.

Then again, maybe it was Aaron's idea to build the golden calf. Maybe he wanted to take over control of the Israelites. (Then again, maybe he wanted to skim some of the melted gold for himself.)

_Torah:_ Moses saw that Aaron had let the people get out of control and act like fools in front of their enemies, so he stood at the entrance to the camp and said, "Whoever is on God's side, come stand with me."

All of the Levites gathered around him.

_My note:_ Moses and Aaron were Levites [from the tribe of Levi].

_Torah:_ Moses told them, "God says that each man must put on his sword, then go throughout the camp and kill your brothers, friends and neighbors."

The Levites obeyed. They killed about 3000 men that day.

_My note:_ That's about the same number of people as were killed on 9/11/2001, when the hijacked planes hit the Pentagon and the World Trade Center towers in New York.

These people killed by Moses and the Levites died because they worshipped the golden calf.

Is that a fair punishment for worshipping the golden calf? Death? Or is Yahweh once again proving himself to be a religious extremist, similar to those religious extremists _The New York Times_ , CNN and the rest of the mainstream media love to condemn?

_Torah:_ Moses then told the Levites, "Today you have become priests in the service of God by killing your sons and brothers, so God gives you his blessing."

_My note:_ God gives them his blessing for killing their sons and brothers?

What kind of a god would approve of people killing their own sons and brothers, just because they made a statue?

I'll tell you what kind of god. A god who has some serious mental problems. And that's the god who Christians and Jews worship, even to this day.

Most Christians don't even know they worship a god who ordered the killing of 3000 people, and they don't care, even though the philosophy of Jesus is "love thy neighbor".

How can Christians worship a god who ordered the deaths of 3000 people, just because they worshipped a statue?

They either don't know about the incident, or they don't care, because they can't think for themselves. The idea that Yahweh ordered the death of 3000 people can't even enter their brains, because their brains have been programmed to reject any idea which says that Yahweh is anything less than perfect and good.

It's much like the Catholic Church, which for centuries taught that priests, bishops, cardinals and the Pope were good and decent men, and some members of the clergy took advantage of people's trust and raped Catholic children. And many parents, and others, found it hard to believe that such rapes were happening, because the rapes were completely at odds with their widespread belief that the Catholic clergy were good and decent men.

Whenever any institution, corporation, government or other entity creates a strong belief that it is trustworthy, watch out, because there will be people inside such organizations who will take advantage of that belief to benefit themselves, and exploit or hurt others.

_Torah:_ The next day, Moses said to the people, "You have committed a terrible sin [by praying to the calf]. Now I will go back up the mountain to see if God will forgive you."

Moses went back to God and said to him [allegedly], "These people committed a terrible sin. They made a god out of gold. Please forgive their sin, but if you won't, remove my name from the scroll on which you wrote the names of your people."

God replied [allegedly], "I will erase only the names of those who sinned against me. Now go and lead the people to the place I told you about. My angel will guide you, but the time will come when I will punish the people for their sin."

_My note:_ Weren't the people punished enough, with 3000 of their sons and brothers slaughtered? How much more carnage does this god need to satisfy his blood lust?

_Torah:_ Soon afterward, God sent a disease which made the people sick.

_My note:_ Or maybe they got sick from natural causes; or maybe the devil sent the disease; or maybe some other god sent the disease; or maybe some extraterrestrial beings sent the disease. Or maybe no one sent any disease, and this is just another Biblical lie.

It doesn't matter to people who no longer have minds of their own. They will tell you, "If the Bible says God sent the disease, then God sent the disease."

So you say to them, "God says you should be put to death if you ever cursed one of your parents. Did you ever do that?"

"No."

"God said you should be put to death if you ever committed adultery. Did you ever do that?"

"No."

"God said you should be put to death if you ever worked on the Sabbath. Did you ever do that?"

"No."

"You did, too. You used to work every Saturday and Sunday."

"I never did."

"God says you must be stoned to death. Are you prepared to accept responsibility for your actions?"

"I never worked on a Saturday or Sunday. My body may have worked, but my spirit didn't."

"What do you mean, your body worked, but your spirit didn't? But it doesn't matter, because we're not gonna stone your spirit, we're gonna stone your body."

You see? You keep asking people questions about all the crazy stuff they believe, and maybe there's a chance they'll get their minds back. But millions of people never will, so according to the Torah, you should simply find out which rule they broke, then stone them to death.

Yahweh's commandments mean that all the professional baseball and football players who ever worked on the Sabbath should be put to death.

Does that make any sense?

[EXODUS 33]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Leave this place. Go to the land I promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I will send an angel ahead of you to drive out the Canaanites, Amorites, Hittites, and others. But I won't go with you, because you are a stubborn people, and if I went with you for even a moment, I might destroy you on the way. Tell the Israelites to take off their jewelry."

The people sobbed when they heard these words; they stopped wearing jewelry from that day on.

_My note:_ Did they sob because Yahweh wasn't going with them? Or did they sob because they could no longer wear jewelry?

_Torah:_ Whenever the Israelites set up camp, Moses would put up the Sacred Tent just outside the camp. Anyone who wanted to ask God a question could go to the Sacred Tent.

_My note:_ First it says God wouldn't go with them, yet here he is, living in the Sacred Tent. I guess the editor of the Torah slipped on this one, too.

_Torah:_ Whenever Moses went to the Sacred Tent, the people would stand at the door of their own tents and watch Moses until he entered the Sacred Tent. After Moses went in, a pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the door of the Sacred Tent, and God would speak to Moses from the cloud. When the people saw the cloud, they would stand and worship at the entrance to their tents.

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-powerful, he could have taken the form of a man and lived in the tent, where he could talk to Moses man to man. He could even go out and talk to the people. But no, he has to appear in a cloud, or in a burning shrub.

Why not appear as a talking lion, or a talking owl? How about a talking gorilla who pounds his chest, or a talking elephant? Children would like a talking elephant.

But no, the best this god can do is be a talking cloud, because that's the limit of the magic tricks Moses can perform.

_Torah:_ [Exodus 33:11] God spoke to Moses face to face, as someone would speak with a friend.

_My note:_ Yo, Moses. Que pasa, my man. Give me five, brother.

Later, in Exodus 33:20, God told Moses, "You can't see my face. No one can see me and stay alive."

You see the problem? First, it says God spoke to Moses face to face, then it says God told Moses, "You can't see my face."

Another inconsistency.

_Torah:_ Then Moses would leave the Sacred Tent and return to the camp. But his helper, Joshua, the son of Nun, stayed in the Sacred Tent.

_My note:_ Why would Joshua need to stay in the Tent?

_Torah:_ Later, God told Moses, "You can't see my face. No one can see me and stay alive. There is a place nearby where you can stand on a rock. I will cover you with my hand until I pass by. Then I'll take my hand away. You'll see my back, but you must not see my face."

_My note:_ So Yahweh was willing to kill whoever saw his face?

This god has a serious mental problem.

And what about Jacob? He wrestled with God all one night, didn't he? Didn't he see God's face? Yet God didn't kill Jacob. And Sarah and Abraham also saw God's face. So here again, God is lying when he says, "No one can see me and stay alive", unless he means that everyone is going to die at some point.

If that's the case, anyone can say to anyone else, "No one can see me and stay alive", and that would be a true statement for anyone who said it, since sooner or later, everyone will die.

[EXODUS 34]

_Torah:_ Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said, "Cut two stone tablets like the first ones, and I'll write on them the same words that were on the first tablets."

_My note:_ Why didn't Yahweh cut the stones? If he's going to write on the tablets, why didn't he cut the stones, too?

Also, notice that Moses, who is said to be the author of this part of the Bible, never writes, "God said to me". He always writes, "God told Moses."

If the author is Moses, why does he write about himself in the third person? What effect does that have on the reader?

Another thing. If nobody could see Yahweh, isn't it possible Yahweh did everything while he was in the nude? I mean, what's the difference, right? If no one could see him.

Maybe Yahweh is like the invisible man, and he could be right beside you and you wouldn't even know it. Maybe he's right beside you now with his invisible goddess girlfriend, and she's in the nude, too!

Right now, the federal government supposedly has devices that are as small as houseflies, and they can be made to look like houseflies, and they can actually be guided by remote control to fly into a house from the outside. These little fly robots have cameras on them, and listening devices, and they can transmit what they see and hear to receivers outside the home, and the robot itself can be recharged simply by hovering near a power source, like an electrical outlet or refrigerator motor; so if you think you're being watched by the feds, and you kill a fly, check it to see if it's actually a little fly robot, because if it is, you just destroyed thousands of dollars of government property, and there's nothing the government can do about it.

_Torah:_ Moses cut the stones, then climbed Mount Sinai. God came down to him in a cloud.

_My note:_ Remember Linus on "Charlie Brown"? The one who always had his blanket with him? Well, maybe the cloud is like a blanket to Yahweh, since Yahweh always has his cloud with him.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said, "I am the Lord. I am tender and kind, gracious, and slow to anger. I am faithful and filled with love. I forgive those who do evil, and those who won't obey. But I punish guilty people, and I punish the children and grandchildren for the sins of their parents."

_My note:_ Yahweh says, "I am tender and kind, gracious, and slow to anger."

Yes, Yahweh, but you just ordered the deaths of 3000 of your own people, and then you sent a disease that made the Israelites sick. So don't give me this self-serving nonsense about what a wonderful fellow you are. You're a bigger liar than Bernie Madoff, and a bigger murderer than Adolph Hitler or Bill Clinton.

It would be nice if Clinton confessed to his sins, and told the American people about the sanctions against Iraq, and it would be even better if he worked to get reparations for all the families of the Iraqi children who were killed by those sanctions.

Also, punishing children and grandchildren for the sins of the parents isn't fair, which means Yahweh isn't fair, so why should anyone worship him?

Most Catholics, and many Protestants, think their god is a fair god. Obviously, they don't even know about the god of the Old Testament, who is the god they worship. They know about Jesus, who is supposedly his son, but two-thirds of the people on the planet don't think Jesus is the son of a god. Plus, according to some people, the Jewish messiah has to come from the House of David, but Jesus apparently doesn't come from the House of David, because in Matthew, it says that Jesus comes from the House of David via Joseph, Jesus's stepfather. But that's not good enough to fulfill the Biblical prophecy that the messiah will come from the House of David, because you don't trace your ancestry through your stepfather, but through your father.

The Jews and Christians need to get themselves a god who is fair; one who doesn't murder for insufficiently good reasons. I mean, if you can't trust your own god, who can you trust?

_Torah:_ Moses bowed down and worshiped God. "Lord," he said, "if you are pleased with me, go with us. These people are stubborn, but please forgive them, and accept us as your own people."

God renewed his covenant with the Israelites. He said, "I will do greater things than have ever been done anywhere on earth.... But don't make peace treaties with those whose land you enter, because if you do you will eventually choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons, and those daughters will sin by worshiping their own gods, and they will lead your sons to do the same thing...."

_My note:_ And that will mean you won't be bringing food, wine and wealth to the high priests of Yahweh, you'll bring them to the high priests of some other god. And we can't have that!

Imagine if Wal-Mart operated the way Yahweh did? Their advertisements would say, "Shop at Wal-Mart, or we will kill you." And if you didn't shop at Wal-Mart, they would kill you.

Here again, this is Mafia stuff, long before the Mafia was even created.

_Torah:_ God continued, "You must not come to worship me with your hands empty...."

_My note:_ Yes, Godfather.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Each year bring to the house of God the first grain that you harvest...."

_My note:_ Yes, Godfather.

_Torah:_ Moses was with God 40 days and 40 nights. He had nothing to eat or drink.

_My note:_ It's impossible to go without drink for 40 days. You might be able to go without food, but not without fluids. Can't be done.

You think it can be done?

Go ahead. Try to prove it. You'll die. You will die. But if you're going to try to prove it, let a lot of people know, and do it under controlled conditions, so everyone can be assured that you have no access to fluids. Plus, when your organs start to fail, you'll want to have help nearby to give you morphine so you die without pain, which means...?

It means, once again, this is a lie. Moses never went without something to drink for 40 days and nights.

_Torah:_ God wrote the Ten Commandments on the tablets.

_My note:_ No, actually, Moses wrote them, or someone else wrote them, or no one wrote them, but in any case, this is just another lie.

_Torah:_ When Moses came down from Mount Sinai, he was carrying the two tablets of the covenant. His face was shining because he had spoken with God, but he didn't know his face was shining. Aaron and the Israelites saw Moses and his shining face, so they were afraid to approach him.

After Moses called out to them, the Israelites all gathered round him. He gave them the Ten Commandments. When Moses stopped talking, he put a veil over his face because his face was still shining.

_My note:_ Some people think that Moses was picked up by an alien spaceship, and that's why his face was shining, because he got hit with a dose of radioactivity from the spaceship's nuclear reactor. Or maybe he had too much... moonshine!

Then again, maybe Moses put on some makeup, to impress the superstitious Israelites.

[EXODUS 35-40]

_Torah:_ Then Moses added a few new things to the law. He said, "On the Sabbath day, don't even light a fire in any of your homes."

_My note:_ Who was Moses to add a few new things to the law? And what about the Jews who eventually migrated to places that were very cold in the winter—places such as Russia, Germany, Poland, many parts of the United States, etc. What are they supposed to do on the Sabbath? Freeze to death?

_Torah:_ The Israelites continued their travels. When the cloud above the Sacred Tent lifted, they started out. If the cloud didn't lift, they didn't start out.

During the day, the cloud of God was above the Sacred Tent. At night, fire was in the cloud. All the Israelites could see the cloud throughout their travels.

LEVITICUS

**[LEVITICUS 1]**

_Torah:_ From the Sacred Tent, God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"If any of you brings an offering to God, he must bring one of his cattle, or one of his sheep or goats. If it's cattle, it must be a bull with no defects.... You shall kill the bull at the Sacred Tent, then skin the animal and cut him up."

_My note:_ This is a law of God, so even the Christians should follow it.

Can you see the Pope killing a bull, then skinning him and cutting him up?

Hey, maybe people should go to St. Peter's square at the Vatican and start chanting, "Cut the bull! Cut the bull! Cut the bull!"

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If you are offering a sheep or goat, it must be a male with no defects.

"If you are offering a bird, it must be a dove or pigeon. The priest shall wring its neck to kill it, then burn its head on the altar. He shall take hold of its wings and tear its body open, without tearing the wings off."

_My note:_ Wring its neck to kill it? Burn its head on the altar? Take hold of its wings and tear its body open? Are these the words of our Heavenly Father?

If you said these things to most American grammar school children, you'd be arrested as being a sick pervert.

[LEVITICUS 2]

_Torah:_ God also told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"If you are offering grain, you must first grind it into flour. You must put olive oil and incense on it. The priest will take a handful of the flour and oil and burn it on the altar, but the rest belongs to the priests."

_My note:_ See? Most of it goes to the priests.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If the offering is bread, it must be made with flour and olive oil, but without yeast. The priest will take part of it as a token and burn it on the altar, but the rest belongs to the priests.

"You must never use yeast or honey in food offered to God. Also, put salt on all your grain offerings."

_My note:_ I think it's reasonable to conclude from the sentence, "You must never use... honey in food offered to God" that Yahweh is not a bear.

[LEVITICUS 3]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] also told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"If someone makes a friendship offering [there are several types of offerings: friendship, sin, guilt, repayment, burnt, grain], it must be a bull or cow without defects, or a male or female sheep or goat without defects. You must put your hand on the animal and kill it at the entrance to the Sacred Tent."

_My note:_ Imagine if this rule was still in effect? Jews like Billy Joel and Jerry Springer would be in front of the Sacred Tent, cutting the throats of bulls, cows, sheep and goats and getting blood all over themselves. Ditto for the Christians Pat Robertson, Mike Huckabee, the Rev. Jesse Jackson and Pope Benedict XVI.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "All the fat on the internal organs, the kidneys, the kidney fat, and the best part of the liver shall be burned on the altar as a food offering to God. All the fat belongs to God. No Israelite may eat any fat or any blood. This is a rule that the Israelites must follow forever, wherever they live."

_My note:_ Do you really think that the God of all creation had nothing better to do than tell all these things to Moses? He sounds more like the manager of a deli than the god of a great nation.

[LEVITICUS 4]

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"If a high priest sins without intending to, he shall sacrifice a young bull without any defects...."

_My note:_ If a person sins without intending to, how can it be a sin?

_Torah:_ "If a whole community of Israelites sins without intending to, the community shall sacrifice [blah, blah, blah].

"If a ruler sins without intending to, the ruler shall sacrifice [blah, blah, blah]

"If any of the people sin without intending to, they must sacrifice [blah, blah, blah]

"If a person brings a sheep as a sin offering, it must be a female without defects."

_My note:_ The high priests say what sins are, which means any time they are getting low on food, they simply call things sinful that before were okay, and the Israelites have to bring them more "sacrifices" (i.e., food).

[LEVITICUS 5]

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person has been called as a witness to something he has seen or heard, and he doesn't tell what he knows, he has sinned, and he will be held accountable."

_My note:_ A lot of people in the modern world are faced with the choice: tell the truth about something they know (for which they might be killed by the perpetrator or his friends); or don't tell the truth, which means bad people, sometimes very bad people, remain free and unpunished (and they still might kill you, just to make sure you never talk).

The government needs to be tougher than the perpetrators. If nobody in the world is willing (and able) to kill except one person, won't that person rule? By contrast, if everyone in the world is willing and able to kill, won't that get rid of a lot of bullying, since bullies will know that the next person they bully may be their last?

See? The solution to many problems is: teach everyone how to kill.

You don't think so? But look at the Marine Corps. All the Marines are taught how to kill, but when there's no war going on, the Marines don't go around killing people, do they? At least no more than the general public, is my guess.

As things are now, the government would prefer that people's killing potential not be developed, unless the person is a law-enforcement official or member of the military, because that allows law-enforcement officials to dominate society, which isn't so bad if the law-enforcement officials are decent people, but often, people in power will abuse their power if they think they can get away with it, and it's easiest for them to abuse their power if the public is a bunch of sheep. In fact, one of the main reasons for the second amendment to the U.S. Constitution (which gives people the right to bear arms) is so people will have weapons if the government gets too big for its britches.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person unintentionally touches anything which is ritually unclean, such as a dead animal, that person himself is unclean, and he is guilty as soon as he realizes what he has done.

"If a person makes a careless vow, no matter what it's about, he is guilty as soon as he realizes what he has done."

_My note:_ In both of the above cases, how can the person be guilty of anything if his conduct wasn't intentional? That's not fair—so once again, Yahweh isn't fair.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person is guilty, he must confess his sin."

_My note:_ That's how it is in most American homes that have children. If the children are guilty of something, they are supposed to confess their sins. The same is true in Japan. Wrongdoers are expected to confess their crimes, and most of them do.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "As a penalty [for sinning], the person must make a sin offering of a female sheep or goat. The priest will sacrifice the animal to pay for the sin."

_My note:_ That is, the priest gets to eat the animal. This arrangement gives the priests a big incentive to encourage sinning, since the more sins people commit, the more food the priests get.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person can't afford a sheep or goat, he must get two doves or young pigeons. He must bring them to the priest. The priest must twist the head off one of them, but not completely off. Then he must offer the other one as a burnt offering."

_My note:_ What's that, God? Twist the head off the poor little dove, but not completely off? Are you serious?

Why don't the Jews follow these rules today? For example, when you go to a Bingo game at a synagogue, you never see any bulls, cows, sheep or goats hanging around the building. Why not?

If someone is going to be Jewish, they should follow all the Jewish laws, which means they better have all these animals ready to kill in case they sin, or make a mistake.

Even in Newton, Mass., or Brookline, Mass., both of which have large Jewish populations, you can drive around the streets all day and not see a single bull, cow, sheep or goat, which either means the Jews in those places don't sin or make mistakes; or it means the Jews in those places don't follow the laws of their own god.

But these laws don't apply just to the Jews. They also apply to Christians. After all, these are God's laws (according to the Jews and Christians).

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person can't afford two doves or two pigeons, he must bring eight cups of fine flour as an offering so his sin will be forgiven. The priest must take a handful of the flour and burn that part on the altar. The rest of the offering will belong to the priest...."

_My note:_ Even this rule of God has been dumped in favor of cash or checks.

The Israelite god didn't even know about cash, checks, ATM machines, or direct deposit. How could an all-knowing god not know about such things?

If Yahweh returned to earth today, he wouldn't know what the heck was going on. He's never even seen a car or a truck. He's never had a Hershey bar. And back in Biblical times, women didn't walk around with these low-cut dresses with their breasts practically jumping out of them. Wouldn't Yahweh get distracted?

Plus most of the women on television news shows wear low-cut dresses, blouses or sweaters, because they're liberated women and that's what they want to wear. But the fact is, they're not liberated at all, they wear what their bosses tell them to wear, and even though a lot of them would look better without the low-cut stuff, or at least they wouldn't be so distracting, their bosses want the low-cut stuff, to increase ratings, or maybe because their bosses themselves want a little titillation. Then, when the weather comes on, instead of watching the weather, you check out the woman, because that's a normal reaction, so why not have the women do the weather around a striptease pole, with music in the background.

"It's gonna rain today, oo yeah yeah, and it'll stop around seven tonight, oo yeah yeah, and tomorrow it'll be sunny, oo yeah yeah," [and now I have to lick the pole to get a rise out of all the perverts] "oo yeah oo..."

Liberation nation.

[LEVITICUS 6]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If any of you sin against God by refusing to return what another Israelite gave you as a deposit, or by stealing from him or cheating him, or by finding a lost item and swearing you didn't find it, or lying as a witness in court, you must repay whatever you got dishonestly. If you are found guilty, you must pay the owner in full, plus pay an additional 20 percent.

"In addition, you must make a repayment offering to God. It must be a male sheep or goat without any defects. The priest will offer [will eat] your sacrifice, and you will be forgiven."

_My note:_ It sounds like the authors of this part of the Torah are trying to think of as many ways as they can to make sure the high priests get a guaranteed supply of food.

_Torah:_ God [allegedly] told Moses to tell Aaron and the high priests:

"Here are some more rules for burnt offerings.

"The burnt offering must remain on the altar all night. The priest must put on linen clothes and linen underwear. After he removes the ashes of the burnt offering, he must take off his clothes and put others on....

_My note:_ Maybe Moses had a friend who made linen underwear, so every time Moses' friend sold some of the underwear to one of the priests, Moses got a cut of the action.

Then again, maybe Yahweh was an ancestor of Charlie Sheen!

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "The high priest must bring grain offerings to God in front of the altar. The priest must take a handful of flour and olive oil, add the incense, and burn that part on the altar. It gives a smell that is pleasant to God."

_My note:_ At the time this was written, there were more than 1.5 million Israelites wandering around the desert who Yahweh could be taking care of, but instead he spends his time trying to assure that he has a nice-smelling tent?

So we see that Yahweh is much like many members of the U. S. Congress, taking care of himself first.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Aaron and the high priests will eat the rest of the grain offering. But they must eat it without yeast in a holy place.... Any of the high priests can eat it.... For now and forever, any of the male descendants of Aaron may eat it as their share of the food offered to God. Anyone else who touches a food offering will be harmed by the power of its holiness...."

_My note:_ The authors of this part of the Bible, pretending to be God, are again trying to use superstition, this time to try to get people not to touch food that is supposed to go to the high priests. Even today, many people who will steal from a convenient store or a bank won't steal from a temple or church, because they believe the superstition that God will punish them.

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to speak to Aaron and the priests in his family line and give them rules for sin offerings. He said, "You must kill the animal for the sin offering in the sight of God. The priest who offers it will eat it....

"Anyone who touches the flesh of the animal will be harmed by its holiness....

"Any male in the priest's family can eat the meat. It is very holy."

_My note:_ Sure it's holy. It belongs to the priest now. It's holy meat.

Hey, maybe that's where they got the expression, "Holy cow"!

[LEVITICUS 7]

_Torah:_ Then God said [allegedly], "Here are some more rules for guilt offerings, which are very holy.

"The animal must be killed on the north side of the altar. Its blood must be sprinkled on every side of the altar. [Blah, blah, blah....] Any male in a priest's family may eat it, but he must eat it in a holy place. It is very holy.

"The same thing is true of the sin offerings and guilt offerings. The meat belongs to the priest who makes the sacrifice....

"Every grain offering that has been baked in an oven or prepared in a pan or grilled on a plate belongs to the priest who has offered it to God. But all the uncooked offerings belong to all the Aaronite priests, to be shared equally.

"If a person makes a friendship offering to God [blah, blah, blah...]. These items are a gift to God. They belong to the priest who sprinkles the blood [blah, blah, blah...].

_My note:_ See? A sizable part of the Torah is basically a taxation document to get food and wealth for the high priests (or, if you prefer, it's an extortion document).

_Torah:_ God told Moses to tell the Israelites [allegedly]: "If a person brings a friendship offering to God.... The priest shall burn the fat on the altar, but the breast shall belong to Aaron and his descendants who are priests. The right hind leg of the animal shall be given to the priest who offers the fat offering. These are what the Israelites must give to the priests for all time to come.

_My note:_ And God in his glory sayeth unto Moses, "The right hind leg of the animal shall be given to the priest who offers a fat offering...."

Kind of takes some the glory out of the most high God, doesn't it? God sounds like a floor manager at a Tyson meat plant.

You have to admit, though, the food is really starting to pile up for the priests. But notice that Yahweh doesn't tell the Israelites how to make Pepto Bismol, because he didn't know how to make it.

[LEVITICUS 8]

_Torah:_ God told Moses to anoint Aaron, the other priests, the Sacred Tent and everything in it. Moses obeyed. Then Moses put a turban with a gold plate in front of Aaron's head. It was a holy crown. He also put a robe on Aaron and his son. Then he killed a bull, sprinkled its blood around the altar, and burned its hide, its meat and its innards [blah, blah, blah....]

[LEVITICUS 9]

_Torah:_ [Blah, blah, blah....]

[LEVITICUS 10]

_Torah:_ Two of Aaron's sons put fire in their incense cups. Then they added incense. They made an offering to God using fire that wasn't allowed, so God set them on fire. They died right in front of God.

_My note:_ God set them on fire and killed them just because they used fire that wasn't allowed?

Maybe they mistakenly used some of Moses' special effects material, and when they lit it, it blew up on them—or maybe Moses gave it to them on purpose, because he wanted them dead.

_Torah:_ Moses had two men take away the bodies of the dead men. Then Moses said to Aaron and his two remaining sons, Eleazar and Itharnar, "Take what remains of the grain offering and make bread without yeast. It belongs to you and your sons. You and your sons and daughters can also eat the breast and the thigh that were offered, plus the fat."

_My note:_ Notice that Moses doesn't say anything about the two sons who died. Is that evidence that it was Moses who set them on fire?

There's a lot of people who would like to set other people on fire, but they're afraid of getting caught. Maybe most people would think that way, if they actually thought about it and they were honest.

Isn't that why the government doesn't want people to think, and it doesn't want them to be honest? Because if they did think about it and they were honest, they might decide that the first people they would like to burn to death are some people who work for the government?

(I wouldn't do anything like that unless they made it legal. I really wouldn't. You shouldn't either. If you want to burn people to death, or stone them to death like they say to do in the Bible, work with your church to change the law by writing your Congressman or state legislator.)

[LEVITICUS 11]

_Torah:_ [Then God told Moses and Aaron to tell the Israelites what kind of animals they could and couldn't eat. Among these rules, God says:]

"These are the birds you must not eat: eagles, vultures, red kites, black kites, ravens, owls, gulls, hawks, cormorants, storks, herons, hoopoes and bats."

God continued [allegedly], "You must not eat any flying insect which walks on all fours. However, you may eat locusts, crickets, grasshoppers and katydids."

God also says, "Of animals that move about on the ground, you can't eat weasels, rats, geckos, great lizards, monitor lizards, wall lizards, skinks and chameleons."

God continues, "For animals that live in the water, you can only eat animals that have fins and scales."

_My note:_ I believe in God, the father almighty, maker of heaven and earth, who said unto man, "you can't eat weasels, rats, geckos, great lizards, monitor lizards, wall lizards, skinks and chameleons."

_Torah:_ God also said [allegedly], "Make sure you don't eat any other creature that has wings and four legs....

"The following animals are not clean and should not be eaten:

(1) an animal that has hooves that are not completely separated into two parts;

(2) an animal that doesn't chew its cud; and

(3) a four-footed animal that has paws [like... lions and tigers and bears—Oh my!; lions and tigers and bears...].

If you pick up an unclean animal, you won't be clean until evening....

"If one of these animals dies and falls into something, that article is not clean....

"If one of these animals dies and falls into a clay pot... unclean....

"If one of these animals falls into a spring or cistern, the spring or cistern is still clean, but anyone who touches the dead body is unclean."

[The remaining rules, and the above rules about what birds, animals and fish you can and cannot eat, have been replaced by modern rules. In the U.S., some of those rules are issued by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (U.S.F.D.A).]

[LEVITICUS 12]

[This chapter describes how to become clean after having a baby. Those rules have been replaced by modern rules.]

[LEVITICUS 13 and 14]

[These chapters describe rules about skin diseases and mold. Those rules have been replaced by modern rules.]

[LEVITICUS 15]

[This chapter describes rules about body wastes. Those rules have also been replaced by modern rules.]

[LEVITICUS 16]

_Torah:_ God told Moses [allegedly], "Tell your brother Aaron not to come into the Most Holy Room [inside the Sacred Tent] whenever he wants. Tell him not to come behind the curtain that is in front of the cover of the ark, or he will surely die."

_My note:_ You know there must be something important going on behind that curtain.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Also, Aaron must not enter the Sacred Tent unless he brings a young bull and a ram to sacrifice. Plus, he must put on a sacred inner robe which is made of linen, and wear linen underwear next to his body. He must put the linen belt around him, and put on the linen turban. Plus, he must take a bath before he puts them on."

_My note:_ Yeah, Aaron, take a bath.

_Torah:_ [This passage is about the famous scapegoat]

God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "The Israelites must then give Aaron two male goats and a ram.

"Aaron must sacrifice the bull, bring the two goats to me at the entrance to the Sacred Tent, and cast lots for the two goats. One goat must go to me. The other goat will be used to carry away the people's sins. But first, that goat must be brought to me. Then it must be sent into the desert to carry away the people's sins.

"Aaron should sacrifice the other animals, then bring out the live goat, put his hands on its head, and tell me about all the sins the Israelites have committed, including all their evil acts and all the times they didn't obey me. That way, he puts all the sins on the goat's head. Then he shall send the goat out into the desert. The goat will carry away the sins of all the people."

_My note:_ This superstitious ritual requires that Aaron tell Moses all the sins the Israelites have committed, so Moses can know what's going on behind his back.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Here is a law that will last forever. On the tenth day of the seventh month, you must not eat or work. On that day, you will be purified of all your sins...."

_My note:_ Purified of all your sins? Obviously, that law didn't last forever. It was one of those many laws which were overruled by people who thought they were wiser than Yahweh.

[LEVITICUS 17]

_Torah:_ God told Moses [allegedly], "People shouldn't make sacrifices of oxen, lambs or goats in the camp, or outside it.... They must also stop making sacrifices to statues of gods who look like goats....

_My note:_ Apparently, anything can be a god: a burning bush, a cloud, a golden calf, a statue of a goat, a person, and who knows what else?

[LEVITICUS 18—SEX, SEX, SEX]

_Torah:_ God told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"Do not have sex with any of your close relatives. Don't have sex with any of the following:

(1) your mother;  
(2) any other wife of your father;  
(3) your sister, whether she is your mother's daughter or your father's daughter;  
(4) your son's daughter (your granddaughter);  
(5) your daughter's daughter (your granddaughter);  
(6) the daughter of your father's wife (your step-sister);  
(7) your father's sister (your aunt);  
(8) your mother's sister (your aunt);  
(9) the wife of your father's brother (your aunt);  
(10) your son's wife (your daughter-in-law);  
(11) your brother's wife (your sister-in-law);  
(12) your neighbor's wife; or  
(13) a woman and her daughter."

_Torah:_ God continued, "Don't marry your wife's sister if your wife is still alive."

_My note:_ In other words, make sure your wife is dead before you marry her sister.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't have sex with a woman during her monthly period."

_My note:_ And God descended from heaven and in his glory sayeth unto man, "Don't have sex with a woman during her monthly period."

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly]:

"Don't sacrifice any of your children to the god Molech.

"Don't have sex with a man as you would with a woman. I hate that.

"Don't have sex with an animal. A woman also must not have sex with an animal.

"Don't have sex in any of the ways I mentioned. That is how other nations became unclean, so I will drive those nations from the land to make room for you.

"If you do any of the things I hate, you will no longer be considered one of God's people."

_My note:_ If you want to know what the punishments are for these crimes, see Leviticus 20, below.

[LEVITICUS 19]

_Torah:_ [More of the same....]

God continued [allegedly], "Don't rob, steal, cheat or lie."

_My note:_ Yet just about every major Biblical character we've seen so far has robbed, stolen, cheated or lied, including—especially—Moses.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Don't make a promise in my name unless you intend to keep it. Don't hold back the wages of those you hire, not even for a single night."

_My note:_ God's rule against holding back wages has been overruled by legislatures all over the world.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Don't curse the deaf, or put something in front of blind people to make them stumble on it...."

_My note:_ It seems the Israelites had some of the same kind of jackasses as exist today.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Treat the poor and rich the same way. Don't favor one person over another.... Don't lie about someone, and when someone is on trial for his life, you must speak up if your testimony can help him."

_My note:_ The American justice system routinely treats the poor differently than it treats the rich. O.J. Simpson had a "dream team" of lawyers because he could afford them. Most poor defendants in criminal cases have public defenders, who are grossly overworked, underpaid, and defendants can't avail themselves of most of the defenses and safeguards that are available to rich defendants.

Why not just get rid of the lawyers, and have the judge do all the work? Isn't that how it was in your home growing up? When you and one of your siblings had a dispute, one of your parents probably played judge, jury, prosecutor and defense attorney, and they were fair about it—if they were a good parent. So if that's the way the justice system works in good homes, why shouldn't it be that way in the nation's courtrooms?

Of course the lawyers will object, because...?

Because of the money.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Don't bear a grudge against others. Instead, settle your differences with them, so you won't sin because of them. Don't take revenge on others or continue to hate them. Instead, love your neighbors as you love yourself."

_My note:_ Love your neighbors as you love yourself? That's really too much to ask, isn't it?

Let's be honest. There are some neighbors who are only lovable when they are being eaten by crocodiles. That's reality. If you can't deal with reality, I understand that, but don't try to foist your delusions onto everyone else.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Obey my rules. Do not cross-breed animals. Do not plant two types of seed in the same field. Do not wear clothes made of two types of material."

_My note:_ Uh-oh. No cotton-polyester mixes? No wool-polyester mixes?

"Yo, Yahweh. What about a leather belt with a metal buckle? That's two types of material. Is that okay?"

"I'm warning you!"

"No, I'm serious. That's two types of material. Is that okay?"

"I'm not gonna answer any questions."

"Listen, God, you need to be a little more precise in your prohibitions. Plus, a lot of your prohibitions are flat-out stupid. You really need to—"

Zap!

"Hey! You just zapped me with lightning! I don't believe you just zapped me with lightning!"

_Torah:_ God continued, "If a man has sex with a female slave who has been promised to another man, and she has not yet been set free, then she and the man who had sex with her must be punished. But they must not be put to death, because the woman has not been set free. The man must bring a ram to the Sacred Tent as a guilt offering. Then his sin will be forgiven.

_My note:_ In other words, the priests will be like pimps, accepting something of value (a ram) for the sex.

_Torah:_ [more rules.... ]

"Don't eat any meat that still contains blood. Don't practice evil magic. Don't cut the hair on the sides of your head, or trim your beard, or get tattoos, or cut your bodies to mourn the dead."

_My note:_ Don Imus, Billy Joel, Jerry Springer, Woody Allen and the Three Stooges (all of whom are/were Jewish) all cut the hair on the sides of their head, and trimmed or shaved their beards. The same goes for most of the Popes.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Don't dishonor your daughter by making her a prostitute. If you do, the Israelites will start using prostitutes, and the land will be filled with evil...."

_My note:_ "Mommy, what's a 'prostitute'?"

_Torah:_ God continued, "Show respect for and honor old people."

_My note:_ This is a good rule, but you should show respect for and honor old people only up to a point. Sometimes, old people can be jerks, just like everyone else. When that happens, if you can't get them to be nice, don't honor them anymore. I'm not saying you should push them off a cliff, just don't honor them.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Be kind to foreigners. Treat them like they are your own people. Love them as you love yourself....

"Don't cheat anyone when using measures of length, weight or quantity."

_My note:_ Alas, there's some good things in the Old Testament amidst all the nonsense. The problem is, modern Jews in Israel break these rules all the time, since they don't treat Palestinians like "they are your own people". They don't love Palestinians as they love themselves.

[LEVITICUS 20 — punishment for crimes]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses to tell the Israelites, "If a person sacrifices one of his children to the god Molech, he must be stoned to death.

"If the Israelites ignore the fact that the man sacrificed his child to Molech, I will turn against that man, his family, and all those who follow Molech.

"If a man tries to get advice from people who get messages from the dead, and he follows their advice, I will turn against him and he will no longer be considered one of my people.

"If anyone curses his mother or father, he will be put to death."

"If a man commits adultery with his neighbor's wife, both of them must be put to death."

_My note:_ There goes one-fifth or more of American adults. And notice that fundamentalist Christians in the U.S. don't put adulterers to death, because they have overruled God on this one, as on other issues.

_Torah:_ God continued, "If a man has sex with his father's wife or his daughter-in-law, both the man and the woman must be put to death.

"If a man has homosexual sex with another man, I hate what they have done. They must be put to death."

_My note:_ How many homosexuals, or bisexuals, were put to death as a result of this rule, and how many suffered vicious beatings and a lifetime of pain? All thanks to the authors of this section of the Bible.

The authors of this section of the Bible think it's a bigger sin to have homosexual sex than to commit a mass murder against children.

Question: If you have a child who you love, and that child grows up and it turns out he/she is a homosexual, will you love the child any less?

Answer: If you're a good parent, you'll love the child just the same.

And then there's the question: "Daddy, what's 'homosexual sex'?"

_Torah:_ God continued, "If a man marries both a woman and her mother, they must all be put to death. They have done a disgraceful thing."

_My note:_ Back in Biblical times, the daughter might be 13 years old and the mother might be 26, so this wouldn't be as unusual back then as it would be today, where the average age for an American woman to get married is about 22. (In modern Bangladesh, the average age for a female to get married is 11 1/2).

_Torah:_ God continued, "If a man has sex with an animal, they must both be put to death. If a woman has sex with an animal, they must both be put to death."

_My note:_ This doesn't make any sense. Why kill the animal? It's not like a cow is putting on makeup and going to nightclubs trying to snag a man, or a giraffe is working out at the gym so he can impress women.

The prohibition against having sex with animals is mentioned a few times in the Bible, which suggests that the Israelites were having a lot of sex with animals back in Biblical times. But it never says what kind of animals they were having sex with.

I bet a lot of people never even thought of having sex with an animal until they read the Bible. Then all of a sudden, they start thinking, what kind of animals can a person have sex with? And before you know it, they're out experimenting.

Lions and tigers and bears, Oh My!

Another thing. At what age do Jewish children start learning all this stuff about sex? Is this the kind of subject parents and religious leaders should be teaching children? Wouldn't it be better for children to learn about computers?

And does God, the father almighty, the maker of heaven and earth have nothing better to do than to order the Israelites not to have sex with animals?

Another thing. How did the authors of this part of the Bible know the Israelites were having sex with animals? Did they catch them in the act, or did they hide in the back of a cave to see why people always left the cave smiling?

"Mooooo!"

"Hee-haw!"

"Oink! Oink! Oink!"

For some reason, all those noises make me think of FoxNews.

_Torah:_ God continued, "If a man marries his sister or half-sister, they shall be driven out of the community."

_My note:_ Abraham, the father of the Israelites, married his half-sister. Should he have been punished? And the Bible also says that Aaron married his sister Miriam. Should they have been punished?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man has sex with a woman during her monthly period, both of them should be driven from the community.

"If a man has sex with the sister of his mother or father [i.e., his aunt], they will be held accountable.

"If a man has sex with his uncle's wife [i.e., his aunt]... he and the woman will pay the penalty.

"If a man gets married to his brother's wife, he has disgraced his brother. He and the woman will die childless."

_My note:_ How will they die childless? By witchcraft? By creating a superstition which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Obey all my rules and laws so you will not be thrown out of the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. I will drive out the people who live there. Don't adopt their customs. They disgust me with their evil practices.

"I have promised you this rich and fertile land, and I have set you apart from other nations."

_My note:_ Rich and fertile? Much of the Western Hemisphere, Asia, Europe and Africa was far more rich and fertile than Canaan, so the Israelites didn't get as good a deal from their god as American, Asian, European and African gods were giving their people.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man or woman gets messages from the dead, or talks to the spirits of the dead, then you must stone that man or woman to death."

_My note:_ The authors of this part of the Bible, pretending to be Yahweh, were big on stoning a person to death. They never said, "Put them before a firing squad", because the authors of this part of the Bible (pretending to be Yahweh) didn't know how to make rifles.

And what's wrong with talking to the spirits of the dead? If your mother or father dies, or your sister or brother, you can't talk to their spirits? Or if you do, you should be stoned to death?

That's stupid, and sick—which means the authors of this part of the Bible were stupid, and sick. People should be able to talk to the spirits of anyone they want.

It could be that those who worship their ancestors, and who talk to the spirits of their ancestors, are the ones who are right about supernatural forces.

Of course, people who worship their ancestors might build shrines to their ancestors, which could mean they reduce the number of sacrifices they give to the Israelite high priests, and isn't that the biggest sin there is?

[LEVITICUS 21]

_Torah:_ God told Moses to tell the Aaronic priests, "A priest must not make himself unclean by going near the dead bodies of any of his people, except close relatives.

"Priests must not shave any parts of their heads....

"A priest must be holy and must not disgrace my name.

"A priest must not marry a prostitute, a widow, a non-virgin, or a woman who is divorced. He must marry a woman who is one of his own people. If a priest's daughter becomes a prostitute, she disgraces her father. She must be burned to death."

_My note:_ Burn one's own daughter to death if she becomes a prostitute?

That's sick—so once again, the authors of this part of the Bible (pretending to be God) are sick.

It's amazing that the Jews, who like to think of themselves as pretty smart, have fallen for all this nonsense for more than 3000 years.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "When someone dies, the high priest must not let his hair hang loose. He must not tear up his clothes to show his sadness, nor enter a place where a dead body is located. He must not leave my Sacred Tent to bury a body, not even if his father or mother dies. That would bring disgrace on my Sacred Tent."

_My note:_ The high priest who wrote this probably didn't want anyone to get into the tent when the high priest was gone to see how the high priest did his tricks, which would expose the whole con game.

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to tell Aaron, "From now on, no man in your family line who has any flaw can come near me to offer food. No man can come near me who is blind or disabled, or whose body is scarred or twisted, or whose foot or hand is disabled, or whose back is bent, or who is too short, or who has an eye or skin disease, or who is a eunuch."

_My note:_ In other words, the authors who wrote this, pretending to be God, didn't like people who today would be called people with disabilities, or people with "imperfections". And while those people can't go near Yahweh to offer food, people who CAN go near Yahweh are people who today would be guilty of crimes against humanity, and genocide. So we can see that, once again, the god Jews and Christians worship has a very warped sense of right and wrong, which suggests he could be insane.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a person has a flaw, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar...."

_My note:_ He especially must not go near the curtain if he doesn't have a brain; or a heart; or courage; or if he's a little black dog named... Toto!

"Rough rough! Rough rough!"

[LEVITICUS 22]

_Torah:_ God told Moses to tell Aaron and his sons, ".... If any of your descendants, while he is ritually unclean, comes near the sacred offerings, he can never serve at the altar again.

"None of Aaron's descendants who has a skin disease can eat any of the sacred offerings while he is ritually unclean.

"One of Aaron's descendants has been made unclean if he comes near a dead body, if he has an emission of semen, or if he touches an unclean animal or person. He remains unclean until evening, and even then he must not eat any of the sacred offerings until he has taken a bath...."

_My note:_ Yeah, priest, take a bath.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "The priests must do what I tell them. If they make fun of what I tell them, they will become guilty and die."

_My note:_ My, my. Yahweh is a sensitive fellow, isn't he? But since a real god is capable of withstanding any criticism, since he will understand that if the criticism is wrong, it's because of reasons the god will understand and therefore, can forgive, then obviously this statement from the Bible isn't from an understanding and compassionate god; instead, it's from the insecure and paranoid authors of this part of the Bible.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Only a member of a priest's family can eat the sacred offering. The priest's guest can't eat it. A priest's hired worker can't eat it, either. [This continues about who can eat the sacred food, and who can't.]

_My note:_ Once again, the almighty and all-powerful god of the Jews and Christians has nothing better to do than issue laws which say who can and can't eat the goats and sheep which were meant for the high priests. And notice that Yahweh didn't say anything about fast-food restaurants, because he never even heard of a fast-food restaurant.

What kind of all-knowing god never heard of a fast-food restaurant?

[LEVITICUS 23]

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"These are my rules for religious festivals...." [For the rules, see the Bible itself.]

[LEVITICUS 24]

_Torah:_ Later, a man spoke evil things about God using a curse. He was brought before Moses.

God told Moses, "All those who heard him curse me must place their hands on his head. Then the whole community must stone him to death."

_My note:_ Yahweh is like Joseph Stalin. He'll kill you just for cursing him.

Another thing. Why did we abolish the rule that whole communities should stone people to death? Wouldn't that bring people closer together?

I drove an ice cream truck one summer, and if I had heard that some community was going to have a stoning, I could have gone there with my truck and made a lot of money, if it was a warm day.

(I dated a woman once who lived for a time in Sudan. She said that one day, she heard a disturbance outside. She looked out and saw everyone running up the street. She found out they were running to stone to death a couple of adulterers.

(Imagine if we could stone adulterers in the U.S.? Who would get stoned? Let's see. There's Bill Clinton, and John Edwards, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the women they were with, and.... )

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If anyone speaks evil things against me, he must be stoned to death.... "

_My note:_ One interpretation of one of the ten commandments is that "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain." (In other words, you can't say anything bad about God.)

Later, the Catholic Church added an unspoken commandment which said, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Catholic clergy in vain." (This commandment was needed to protect all the Catholic clergy who were raping children.)

The Jews also created a new commandment which says, "Thou shalt not take the name of the Jews in vain. If you do, you will be stigmatized as being evil, as bad as a Nazi." (This commandment was needed to protect all Jews from all accusations regarding everything. Once the commandment was in place, a small group of Jews would be able to do whatever they wanted, and no one could blame these Jews for anything without being labeled evil.)

Why would the Jews need such a commandment.

Most Jews wouldn't. The only ones who need such a commandment are the Jews who do evil.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If anyone... kills a person, he must be put to death, whether he is a foreigner or an Israelite."

_My note:_ When last I heard, if you kill someone in the U.S., you get an average of about seven years in prison.

Some might ask, "What about Israelites who kill Palestinians? Shouldn't they be put to death, according to the Bible?"

If they're not put to death, isn't that disobeying one of God's rules, which could mean that Israeli Jews will be in for a bad time pretty soon, since God said that if the Israelites keep disobeying him, their punishment would ultimately be that they'd have to eat the dead bodies of their sons and daughters? (see Leviticus 26)

_Torah:_ Then the people got the man who had said evil things against God, took him outside the camp, and stoned him to death, just as God had ordered.

_My note:_ Presidents Richard Nixon and George W. Bush would have wanted to have such a law for their own benefit: "If anyone says evil things about the president of the United States, he shall be stoned to death."

[LEVITICUS 25]

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites: "After you enter Canaan, you must honor me every seventh year by not cultivating the land...."

_My note:_ This must have been an impossible rule for the Israelites to follow, since they would have had tremendous fear that obeying the rule would leave them without food.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Every 50 years, announce freedom throughout the land for all those who live there.... All those who were sold as slaves shall return to their families.

_My note:_ So if you're sold into slavery at age 20, you might not get to return to your family until age 70? By that time, most slaves would be dead (because the life expectancy back in Biblical times was probably less than 40 years).

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "The whole [7th] year shall be sacred. Don't plant your fields or gather the grapes. All property that has been sold shall be returned to its original owner."

_My note:_ Again, this rule of Yahweh has been deemed stupid, by man. In fact, if this rule were reinstated, it would wipe out capitalism and most of capitalism's efficiencies.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "Do not cheat another Israelite. Have respect for me.

"You may ask, 'If we don't plant anything the seventh year, or gather our crops, what will we eat?'

"In the sixth year, I'll produce enough food for two years. Then, in the eighth year, you'll still be eating from your harvest in the sixth year, and you'll have enough food until the new harvest [in the eighth year]."

_My note:_ "Of course, it's also possible you'll starve to death," Yahweh added, "but that's my concern, not yours."

"What do you mean, it's not our concern? Of course it's our concern. We'll be dead."

"Well, after you're dead, you won't be concerned about it, will you? Hee, hee, hee!"

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "Your land must not be sold on a permanent basis, because you don't own it. It belongs to God."

_My note:_ So it seems that even if a god gave Canaan to the Israelites, they still don't own it. It still belongs to Yahweh.

That should complicate the Middle East peace talks, especially since the Muslims trace their ancestry to Abraham, so the promised land is arguably their promised land, too.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "You are only like foreigners who rent the land. If you sell the land, you must make sure you can buy it back.

"If any of the Israelites becomes poor and has to sell some land, his closest relatives must come and buy back what he has sold....

"If a man sells a house in a city that has a wall around it, he has the right to buy it back for a full year. If he doesn't buy it...."

_My note:_ These rules have also been abolished, because the Jews and Christians concluded that Yahweh was wrong on these ones, too.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If an Israelite becomes poor and can't care for himself, help him just as you would help a foreigner. Don't charge an Israelite interest of any kind. Then the poor can continue to live in your midst. And you must not make a profit from the food you sell them."

_My note:_ Do the Jews charge each other interest on loans? Do they make a profit on food they sell to poor Jews? If so, once again, that could be a step to the next Holocaust, because that would be disobeying God.

Here, once again, God's laws can be overruled whenever the Jews (or Christians) think God is wrong.

The Pope, by contrast, is never wrong, which means the Pope must be more knowledgeable, and more powerful, than God himself! And if the Pope is more knowledgeable, and more powerful, than God himself, that makes the Pope... the new God!

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If an Israelite becomes poor and sells himself to you, don't make him do the work of a slave. Show pity when you rule over him. Treat him like a hired worker until the next year of Restoration. Then he and his children must be set free....

"If you need slaves, get them from the nations around you, or buy the children of the foreigners who live among you, and you may bequeath them as an inheritance to your children. You can make them slaves for life. But when you rule over Israelites, treat them kindly."

_My note:_ In other words, you needn't be kind to non-Israelites.

Also, it says that "If you need slaves... buy the children of the foreigners who live among you."

Israeli Jews haven't yet started buying the children of the Palestinians for use as slaves, but since Yahweh allows it, you can be assured that some modern rabbis will argue that it's permissible.

Also, since the Bible clearly indicates that the children of foreigners can be made into slaves, doesn't that mean that Yahweh is saying that all non-Jews can be treated as if they are inferior to Jews? Doesn't that attitude on the part of some Jews often get Jews into trouble?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a foreigner living among you becomes rich and buys a poor Israelite, then the Israelite keeps the right to buy himself back, or one of his relatives can buy him back. His master must not treat him harshly. In any event, the person must be set free in the next year of Restoration. Israelites cannot be permanent slaves, because the Israelites are God's slaves."

_My note:_ The Israelites are God's slaves? I never heard that one before. And if Yahweh said it was okay for a foreigner to make Israelites slaves, how could the Jews object to Hitler using Jews as slave labor? Yahweh himself endorsed such a relationship.

It's even possible that Hitler got the idea from the Torah.

[LEVITICUS 26]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] also told Moses to tell the Israelites:

"Do not make idols or statues of other gods...."

"If you obey my rules, I will send you rain at the right times so the land will produce crops and the trees will bear fruit. You will have so much that you'll still be harvesting grain when it's time to pick grapes, and you'll still be picking grapes when it's time to plant grain. You'll have all that you want to eat, and you can live in safety.

"I will give you peace. No one will make you afraid. I will get rid of the dangerous animals, and there will be no more war. You will have victory over your enemies. Five of you will be able to defeat a hundred, a hundred will be able to defeat ten thousand.

"I will bless you and give you many descendants; I will keep my part of the covenant I made with you. Your harvests will be so plentiful they'll last more than a year. I'll live among you in my Sacred Tent. I will never turn away from you. I will walk among you. I will be your God. And you will be my people. I brought you out of Egypt. I let you walk with your heads held high."

_My note:_ Here again, Yahweh sounds like an American politician. "Vote for me and I'll give you all kinds of good things..."

As for Yahweh living among the Israelites in his Sacred Tent, where is that tent now?

Anyway, that's what is supposed to happen if the Israelites obey Yahweh. If they don't obey him, here's what happens:

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If you don't obey my commands, here is what I will do. I will punish you. I will bring terror on you."

_My note:_ "I will bring terror on you"?

Wouldn't that make Yahweh a terrorist?

_Torah:_ God continued, "I will bring you incurable diseases that will make you weak, give you fever and destroy your sight. Your enemies will eat your crops and defeat you in battle. Those who hate you will rule over you. You will be so terrified that you will run when no one is chasing you.

"After all that, if you still don't obey me?

"I will increase your punishment seven times. I will break your stubborn pride. I will stop it from raining. I will make the ground under you like bronze. You will not be able to farm it. No matter how hard you work, it won't matter. Your soil won't produce crops. Your trees won't bear fruit.

"If after that you continue to disobey me, I will multiply your troubles even more. I will send dangerous animals to kill you and your children. They will destroy your cattle. There will be so few of you left that your roads will be deserted.

"And if you still don't accept my warnings?

"I will make you suffer over and over. I will send a war against you, and a plague. You will be handed over to your enemies. I will cut off your supply of bread. There won't be enough to keep you satisfied.

"And if you still won't obey me?

"Then in my anger I will make your punishment seven times worse than before. Your hunger will be so great that you will eat the bodies of your sons and daughters. I will destroy the places where you worship, break apart your incense altars, and throw your dead bodies on your fallen statues. I will annihilate your cities. I will destroy your land so completely that your enemies who occupy it will be shocked. I will bring war on you and scatter you among the nations. I will pull out my sword and hunt you down. You will become prisoners in the country of your enemies.

"You will run as though you were being chased by swords. You will fall, even though no one is chasing you. You will trip over one another as if running from battle.

"While you are still scattered among the nations, you will die because of your sins, and the sins of your parents."

_My note:_ This must scare the daylights out of Jewish children.

Yahweh's description of what he'd do to the Israelites sounds in many ways like the Holocaust, or something just as bad. In fact, there are some Jewish people who think that the Holocaust was Yahweh's wrath against the Jews, and Hitler was just a tool by which Yahweh punished the Jews.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "However, if you admit that you and your parents have sinned, and you and your descendants are humbled and you have paid the penalty for your sins, I will remember my covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I won't destroy you completely in the land of your enemies...."

_My note:_ How nice. Yahweh says he won't destroy the Israelites completely. But you'd think that the Israelites themselves would say about Yahweh, "Let's get rid of this arrogant clown." But they can't say that, because the authors of the Torah have them terrified, even though they've been dead for more than 3000 years.

Imagine if, 3000 years from now, the Jews were still terrified of Adolph Hitler? You'd call them loony. The only reason the Christians don't call the Jews loony is because the Christians are terrified of Yahweh, too. They think if they say something bad about Yahweh, they'll be zapped by lightning, or something else bad will happen to them. They really think that.

I'm surrounded by lunatics.

You have to admit, though, this was a pretty brilliant con game by the authors of the Torah, because they tell the Israelites that no matter what happens to them, there's hope. But the fact is, there's no hope whatsoever for all the Jews who died during the Holocaust.

Does that make the Jews who are still alive feel better? Do the Jews think they are more evil than the Christians and Muslims? After all, Yahweh hasn't allowed Christians and Muslims to be slaughtered in the same proportion that he allowed Jews to be slaughtered.

Then again, maybe the Jews keep getting slaughtered generation after generation not because of what Yahweh wants, but because something the Jews do greatly offends other people. Certainly not all Jews greatly offend other people, it's only some of them, but apparently some Jews keep offending people generation after generation, century after century, and the actions of a few Jews get all Jews into trouble.

But many Jews will say, "No, no, no, it has nothing to do with the conduct of any Jews. The fault is entirely with other people." Then they use their political power in the United States to get the United States to wrong other people, such as the Palestinians, Iraqis, Afghanis, Lebanese, Syrians, etc., and when Israel is charged with war crimes, or crimes against humanity, some Jews in America go on a propaganda campaign to say that Israel didn't commit war crimes, it didn't commit crimes against humanity, and that the real bad guys are the people who are accusing them. And many Jews in America, instead of denouncing Israel for its war crimes, and its crimes against humanity, go along with this propaganda campaign.

But what happens when American non-Jews realize that the attack on 9/11 happened because of America's support for Israel (which was the number one reason cited by Osama bin Laden in his "Letter to America"); that the war in Afghanistan never would have happened if America hadn't supported Israel; that the war in Iraq happened because of America's support for Israel; that the cost of supporting Israel has been at least $4 trillion dollars (when you include the cost of homeland security since 2001, and the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan); and that there are 120 million American households, and $4 trillion divided by 120 million households comes to $33,333 for every American household, all down the drain because of U.S. support for Israel.

That means all the people who lost their homes in the recent recession (a recession that was caused in part by our support for Israel) could have kept their homes if the money the U.S. spent because of its support for Israel had instead gone to helping the people keep their homes.

I bet if all the people who lost their homes knew that, they wouldn't be very happy. But the mainstream American media keeps these truths from people, because most of the people who control the mainstream media are Jewish.

The decision by the Jews in the mainstream media to treat a Holocaust against Muslim children as a non-story was probably the stupidest decision these Jews ever made, because these Jews are now on record as condoning the murder of half a million Muslim children.

The good Jews should straighten out these bad Jews, and quickly.

[LEVITICUS 27]

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites, "When any of you have been given to God in fulfillment of a special vow, you may be set free by the payment of the following sums of money:

(1) adult male, age 20-60, 50 pieces of silver;  
(2) adult female, age 20-60, 30 pieces of silver;  
(3) young male, age 5-20, 20 pieces of silver;  
(4) young female, age 5-20, 10 pieces of silver;  
(5) infant male (under 5), 5 pieces of silver;  
(6) infant female (under 5), 3 pieces of silver;  
(7) male, age 60+, 15 pieces of silver;  
(8) female, age 60+, 10 pieces of silver."

_My note:_ What is a man worth?

Now you know.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "If the one who makes the special vow is too poor to pay it, he must bring to the priest the person who is to be freed, and the priest will set a lower price, according to the man's ability to pay.

"If a man promises me an animal for an offering, that animal becomes holy. The man cannot trade that animal for another animal....

"If a man dedicates his house to me, the priest will determine its value. If the man wants to buy it back, he must add a fifth [20%] to its value."

_My note:_ Why is the priest determining the value? Isn't that a conflict of interest?

And why add a fifth to its value? The priest is getting the house for free, so if the man who dedicates it wants to buy it back, the priest will get paid the full value of the house, which cost him nothing to begin with. Now the priest wants an additional 20%, on top of the full value?

What a racket.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "If a man dedicates a piece of land to me....

"If the man who dedicates his field wants to buy it back, he must add a fifth [20%] to its value. If he doesn't buy it back, but instead sells it to someone else, he can never buy it back. At the next Year of Restoration, the field will become God's personal property. It will belong to the priests."

_My note:_ Once again, "God's personal property" actually means "the property of the priests."

_Torah:_ God continued, "All prices shall be set according to the official standard...."

_My note:_ That's price fixing, which economists say usually doesn't work well, so this rule of Yahweh's has also been voided.

Gee, Yahweh, you're not very smart about all this stuff. And if you're all-knowing, why don't you tell some Jewish doctors how to cure all types of cancer so they can help people and win some Nobel prizes?

"I was going to tell them, but you keep interrupting me."

"That's a lie. Why are you always lying?"

"You better shut up, or I'll come down there on my magic cloud and cut your head off."

"Go ahead."

"I will in a minute."

"Liar."

"Don't tempt me."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire."

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "No one may sell or buy back what he has unconditionally dedicated to God, whether it is a human being, an animal, or land. It belongs permanently to God [i.e., the priests].

"No person who is dedicated to be destroyed can be bought back. He must be put to death."

_My note:_ I don't know how you can dedicate someone to be destroyed. Can we still do that? If so, I think people would be dedicating each other all over the place.

I know some people I'd like to dedicate. Do you?

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "A tenth of everything the land produces belongs to me. That includes grain and fruit. If a man buys back some of his tenth, he must pay an additional 50 percent."

_My note:_ Now the authors of the Bible, pretending to be God, are really getting greedy. And again, this is like paying money to the Mafia, or tithing to a church, but not voluntarily.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "One-tenth of a man's herds and flocks will be holy. They will be dedicated to me. The owner must not pick out the good animals from the bad. If he does substitute one animal for another, both will belong to God [the priests] and they cannot be bought back."

_My note:_ I imagine a lot of Israelite farmers would be thinking, "Up yours", but the priests probably have the army on their side, so they can enforce these demands.

In other words, these laws are just a bunch of bullies preying on the weak.

(By now, you can see that much of the Torah is devoted to getting things of value for the high priests, and intimidating and controlling ignorant people through fear, hope and superstition.)

NUMBERS

**[NUMBERS 1-2]**

_Torah:_ In the Sacred Tent, God told Moses to count all the Israelite men. The total came to 603,550 Israelite men over the age of twenty. But the families of the tribe of Levi weren't counted. God had said, "Don't count the men from the tribe of Levi. Instead, put them in charge of the Sacred Tent.... Anyone else who goes near the Sacred Tent will be put to death."

_My note:_ Sure, if they go near the Sacred Tent, they might learn that Yahweh doesn't exist, and that the high priests have been getting rich with all the "offerings"—which aren't really offerings if they're obtained by extortion or deceit.

Another thing. In Numbers 3:39, it says that the number of Levite males a month old or older amounted to 20,000.

20,000!? Assuming 10,000 of those are adult males, why they heck would Yahweh need 10,000 adult males to be in charge of his Sacred Tent? No tent that ever existed would require the services of 10,000 workers, or even 1,000 workers—so you can see that this is either another lie, or it's part of the big con, where these Levites sit around all day doing next to nothing except raking in the sheep and goats, until one of them hooks up with a guy name Strauss and they start the company, Levi-Strauss, which makes blue jeans.

Another thing. If Yahweh actually existed, he could go on television and tell everyone what they need to do to prevent the upcoming catastrophes that will occur when energy prices keep rising so much that most people won't be able to heat their homes in the winter.

What do people do if they can't heat their homes? Move south?

But if everyone is moving south, prices of all the homes down south will skyrocket, so how will people pay for the homes? By selling their homes up north?

No one is going to buy their homes up north, because no one can live in them, because the heating costs will be too high. And with the people in India and China becoming like us (wanting more-more-more), that means they'll have increasing greater demand for energy, so energy costs can't help but keep going up, unless a new and inexpensive source of energy is found.

Take a good look at the poor cities of India, because in 30 years, that could be how tens of millions of Americans are living—unless Yahweh comes flying in on his spaceship and saves the day. But anyone who lives in a tent almost certainly doesn't own a spaceship.

You can wait for Yahweh to come flying in on his spaceship, or you can get with reality, and reality says that people better stop being delusional and solve these problems themselves, but they can't even do that, because they believe in the superiority of democracy, when in fact the U.S. government was designed more than 200 years ago, when the world was a decidedly different place, and over the years the government has been used, in many respects, not to help the country, but to help individuals or corporations who want to make as much money as possible off of everyone else.

The dominant rule in our home (planet earth) says that people should try to get as much as possible for themselves or the gang they belong to (i.e., corporation, government), and to hell with everyone else. This leaves the strongest gangs (such as the U.S.) with the most food and other things of value, and the weakest gangs (Haiti, Uganda) get little or nothing.

Is that the way you run your own house? If you're a good parent, the answer is no. In a good house, the parents make sure everyone gets what they need (food, clean water, sanitary living conditions, good education, medical care, etc.). Only after everyone gets what they need can family members go off and play their games. But in a good house, people are also taught to be responsible, and in democratic societies, politicians don't want to tell people to be responsible, because as soon as they start telling people they need to be responsible, the irresponsible people get offended and the responsible politicians lose votes. Ultimately, this tends to drive out the responsible politicians, who are replaced by the irresponsible politicians, and things get worse instead of better.

[NUMBERS 3]

_Torah:_ God also told Moses, "I have taken the Levites from among the Israelites. I have taken them in place of the oldest son who is born to each Israelite woman. The Levites belong to me.

"When I killed all the firstborn males of the Egyptians, I consecrated the oldest son of each Israelite family as my own, and I also consecrated the firstborn of every animal as my own. Now, instead of having the firstborn sons of all the Israelites as my own, I have the Levites. They belong to me."

_My note:_ Probably the Israelites weren't going along with the rule that all firstborn sons should go to the high priests, so the authors of the Torah decided to change the rule before they had another mutiny.

_Torah:_ The chief leader of the Levites was Eleazar, the son of Aaron. The total number of the Levites was 22,000. Every male who was a month old or more was counted.

_My note:_ If there were a total of 603,555 Israelite men over age 20 (Numbers 2:32) in eleven of the twelve tribes, that probably means there were more than a million males total in the eleven tribes (if you include all the males under the age of 20).

A million males would be an average of about 90,000 males per tribe (1 million divided by 11). But the Levites had only 22,000 males (who were older than one month).

Why such a big difference?

Probably the numbers have been falsified, like so many other numbers in the Torah.

[NUMBERS 4]

_Torah:_ God told Moses and Aaron, "Count the Kohath families of the Levites. They must take care of the things that are very holy.... When it is time to move the camp, the men of Kohath must get everything ready to be carried. But they must not touch the holy things. If they do, they will die. They must not look at the holy things even for a moment. If they do, they will die."

_My note:_ See? Yahweh (the priests) will kill Israelites just as readily as they will kill the enemies of the Israelites, especially if the Israelites learn any of the secrets of the priests.

[NUMBERS 5]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Tell the Israelites that certain people must be sent away from the camp, such as any person who has a skin disease, or who has bodily discharges, or who has touched a corpse."

The Israelites did what God had said.

Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites, "If a man or woman wrongs another person, they must admit their sin and pay for their wrongdoing, plus add 20 percent. They must give it all to the person they wronged.

"If the person they wronged has died, and there is no close relative who can be paid, then what is paid belongs to God [the priests]. It must be given to the priest, along with a ram. All of these sacred gifts will belong to the priest."

_My note:_ Again, see how much of the Torah is designed to bring in wealth for the priests? And the Catholics one-upped the Jews, by figuring out a way to bring in even more money.

One thing the Catholics did was make it easy to become a Catholic. Another thing they did was encourage Catholic women to have as many children as possible, since the children would be brainwashed into the Catholic way, and that meant even more money for the Catholic Church once the children grew up.

_Torah:_ God continued to tell Moses to tell the Israelites, "If a man believes his wife has not been faithful to him, yet there is no witness against her, he must take his wife to the priest, along with an offering of eight cups of barley flour without olive oil or incense."

_My note:_ Right. And next, God is going to tell us how to make an apple crumb cake.

_Torah:_ God continued, "The priest must have the woman stand in front of God [who can't be seen]. Then the priest must pour some holy water into a clay jar, and put some dust from the floor of the Sacred Tent into the water. The priest must then have the woman stand before God. The priest must untie the woman's hair, and place the grain offering into her hand.

"Then the priest must have the woman take an oath. He must say to the woman, 'If no other man has had sex with you, and you kept yourself pure while you have been married to your husband, then may this bitter water that brings a curse not harm you. But if you did have sex with a man who is not your husband, may God make your name a curse among the Israelites, and may this water that brings a curse enter your body and make you be unable to have children.'

"Then the woman must say, 'I agree. May God do so.'

"The priest must write the curses on a scroll, then wash them off into the bitter water which the woman must drink. If she is guilty, she will suffer greatly. If she is innocent, she will be able to have children. Whether she is guilty or innocent, the husband will be free of guilt."

_My note:_ Here, the authors of the Torah use superstition to scare people and try to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Notice that there's no rule to challenge the husband for unfaithfulness, and even if his wife is innocent, the husband is innocent of any wrongdoing, even if he has accused his wife unfairly.

Thus, once again, Yahweh (or the author, pretending there is a god named Yahweh) is unfair.

[NUMBERS 6-11]

_Torah:_ Later, God told Moses to tell the Israelites that if a man is ritually clean, and he is not on a journey, and he does not observe the Passover feast, then he will no longer be considered one of God's people.

The people began to complain to God about the trouble they were having. God heard them and got angry. He sent fire onto the people. It destroyed one end of the camp.

_My note:_ Was this an accident, or did Moses torch some of the Israelites to get them to quit complaining?

_Torah:_ Some Israelites kept complaining, "We want meat, cucumbers, watermelons, leeks, onions and garlic. Now all we see is this manna."

Moses heard all the people complaining. God was angry, so Moses was worried. He asked God, "Why have you treated me so badly? Why are you unhappy with me? Why have you given me the responsibility for all these people? They aren't my children. You took an oath and promised land to these people long ago. Where can I get enough meat for all these people?

"If you are going to treat me like this," Moses continued, "why not put me to death right now, so I won't have to put up with your cruelty?"

_My note:_ Notice that even Moses calls God cruel.

_Torah:_ God said [allegedly], "Bring me 70 of Israel's leaders. I will come down and talk to them at the Sacred Tent. I will give them some of the spirit I have given you. They will help you carry the load."

_My note:_ Yahweh is lying again. He never comes down and talks to the elders.

_Torah:_ God continued, "Tell the people, 'Purify yourselves for tomorrow. Then you will eat meat. The Lord will give you meat. And you will eat it, not just for one or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month. You will eat it until it comes out of your nose, until you are sick of it....'"

_My note:_ "You will eat it until it comes out of your nose!"

Now, that's a great line. [Numbers 11:20]

_Torah:_ Then Moses said to God, "I am leading 600,000 men. You say you will give them enough meat to eat. How is that possible? Is there enough cattle and sheep to satisfy them?"

God replied, "Is there a limit to my power? Soon you will see whether I am telling the truth."

Moses gathered seventy leaders together at the Sacred Tent and told them what God had said.

_My note:_ See? God doesn't talk to the leaders, Moses does.

_Torah:_ Then God came down in a cloud.

_My note:_ Oh, here's Yahweh as a cloud again.

"Hey, Yahweh, can't you appear as anything but a cloud? You're getting boring. Why not appear as a sorcerer?"

"Because then people will think I'm a flying sorcerer, you idiot. Get it? Flying sorcerer? Like a UFO?"

"Yeah, I get it, I get it."

_Torah:_ God spoke to Moses and put some of his spirit on the leaders. When the spirit came on them, they began to shout like prophets, but not for long.

_My note:_ This sounds like one of those crazy revival meetings.
_Torah:_ Two of the leaders had not gone to the Sacred Tent. They had stayed in the camp. When the spirit came upon them, they began to shout like prophets. A young man ran out and told Moses about it. Joshua, Moses' helper, said, "Moses, please stop them."

Moses said, "I wish God would make all the people shout like prophets."

Then Moses and the leaders returned to the camp.

_My note:_ In modern America, if someone starts shouting like a prophet, he is often committed to a mental institution. Does that mean all of America's prophets are either in mental institutions, or they are taking medication to keep their prophecies silent?

_Torah:_ Suddenly God sent a wind which brought quails from the sea. The quails settled on the camp and for miles in every direction. That day and night, and the next day, the people gathered quail. Everyone had at least 50 bushels. They spread the quail out to dry around the camp. But while there was still plenty to eat, God sent a terrible plague.

_My note:_ God sends food, plus a plague? Or did the quail go bad after they were killed, and that's what caused the plague?

[NUMBERS 12]

_Torah:_ Aaron and his sister Miriam began to criticize Moses for marrying a woman from Cush. They said, "Has God spoken only through Moses? Hasn't he also spoken through us?"

God heard what they said.

Moses was a humble man, more humble than anyone else on earth.

_My note:_ Isn't it bragging to say you're more humble than anyone else on earth? And isn't bragging NOT humble?

_Torah:_ God told Moses, Aaron and Miriam, "All three of you, come out to the Sacred Tent."

They did.

God came down in a pillar of cloud, stood at the entrance to the Tent, and called out, "Aaron! Miriam!"

_My note:_ It must be Moses' assistant, Joshua, who is now calling out their names from inside a cloud he created with his magical cloud powder, which means Joshua is just like the old guy in _The Wizard of Oz_ (the one behind the curtain).

_Torah:_ Aaron and Miriam stepped forward. God said, "Now hear what I have to say. When there are prophets among you, I make myself known to them in visions and dreams. That's not true of my servant Moses. I have put him in charge of all the Israelites. So I talk to him face-to-face, clearly and without riddles. I've even let him see something of what I look like."

_My note:_ Sure. He looks like a talking shrub.

It makes no sense that God wouldn't show himself. What's the big deal? I suppose if he looked like Curly of the Three Stooges, that would take away some of the grandeur and magnificence of God, but there's no evidence he looked like Curly, or like Moe or Larry. So the only reason he wouldn't come out and introduce himself is if he doesn't exist.

_Torah:_ God [or Joshua, speaking from inside the tent in a deep voice] continued, "How dare you criticize my servant Moses."

God was angry with them, so as he was leaving and the cloud left the Sacred Tent, Miriam's skin was suddenly covered with a disease and it became white as snow.

When Aaron saw the disease, he said to Moses, "Please, sir, don't punish us for our foolish sin. Don't make her look like something born dead, with half its flesh eaten away."

_My note:_ Notice that Aaron doesn't blame God for what happened to Miriam, he blames Moses.

_Torah:_ So Moses cried to God, "O God, please heal her."

God replied, "If her father spit in her face, she would be disgraced for seven days, so let her be shut out of the camp for a week. Then she can come back."

_My note:_ A few sentences back, it said that God was leaving, so here, when God talked to Moses and said Miriam must be shut out of the camp for a week, God and Moses must have been communicating using cell phones.

_Torah:_ Miriam was kept outside the camp for seven days. Then the Israelites moved camp.

_My note:_ And that solved that little mutiny.

[NUMBERS 13]

_Torah:_ One day, God told Moses, "Choose a leader from each of the twelve tribes and send them to explore the land of Canaan. I am giving it to the Israelites."

_My note:_ Yahweh already gave it to the Israelites about 8 times already. Why does he keep saying he's going to give it to them if he already gave it to them over and over? And why did the Israelites eventually lose the land? Was it because they disobeyed Yahweh? Or was it because they kept counting on their god to help them, but he kept failing to show up, and that's why they lost the land?

_Torah:_ Moses sent the men out to explore Canaan, as God had commanded.

Moses told them, "See what the land is like. See how many people live there, and whether they are strong or weak. What are their towns like? Are they surrounded by walls? Is the soil rich or poor? Does it have trees? Try to bring back some of the fruit." (It was the time of season when grapes began to ripen.)

So the men left to check out the land.

After 40 days, the men returned to the camp. They showed Moses, Aaron and the Israelites the fruit of the land and made their report. They said, "The land is rich and fertile. Here is some of its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful. Their cities are large and well-protected. We even saw the descendants of the giants there [Nephilim]."

Caleb silenced the men who were talking to Moses. He said, "We should go up and take the land. There's no question we can do it."

The other men said, "We're not strong enough to attack them." Then they spread a false story among the Israelites. They said, "The land doesn't even produce enough food to feed those who live there. Plus, the land is filled with giants [Nephilim]. We felt as small as grasshoppers compared to them."

_My note:_ Once again, Israelites are trying to deceive other Israelites.

[NUMBERS 14]

_Torah:_ That night, all the Israelites shouted and sobbed. They criticized Moses and Aaron and told them, "We wish we had died in Egypt"....

Two of the men who had visited Canaan were Caleb and Joshua, Moses' assistant. They tore their clothes in sorrow and told the people, "We checked out the land. It's excellent land. If God is pleased with us, he'll give us that fertile land. But don't disobey him, and don't fear the people who live there. We will defeat them. God is with us."

All the Israelites were threatening to stone them to death, when suddenly the people saw the brilliant light of God appear above the Sacred Tent.

_My note:_ Moses and the brilliant light, coming to the rescue.

_Torah:_ God asked Moses, "How long will these people ridicule me and refuse to believe me? I have done many miraculous signs, but still they don't believe. So I will send them a plague and destroy them."

_My note:_ Once again, Yahweh doesn't sound like a very understanding fellow. After all the Israelites have been through, you'd think he would be more compassionate.

_Torah:_ Moses said to God, "If you destroy your people, the Egyptians will hear about it. These people [the Amalekites and Canaanites] have already heard about you, that you are with us, and that you go before us in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night.

"If you kill all your people, the nations who have heard about you will say you killed them because you weren't able to bring them into the land you promised.

"Please, God, show us your power and do what you promised, and forgive the sins of the Israelites, just as you have forgiven them ever since they left Egypt."

_My note:_ What does an all-powerful god care what the Egyptians think?

Also, Moses is always arguing with Yahweh. Plus, he often gets Yahweh to change his mind. What kind of god changes his mind so often?

Not only that, but it sounds like the Israelites are the ones who should be forgiving Yahweh, rather than vice versa.

_Torah:_ God replied, "I will forgive them, just as you asked. But I promise you that none of these people will ever see the land I promised them. They have seen all my miraculous signs, but they refused to obey me. They have tested me ten times. No one who has ridiculed me will ever see that land."

_My note:_ On the one hand, Yahweh forgives them; on the other, he punishes them by making sure that those who ridiculed him (and many others) won't see the promised land.

It seems the gift of the promised land was a conditional gift, and Yahweh could revoke the gift whenever he felt like it.

Yahweh should be a man of his word. Obviously, he isn't.

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] continued, "My servant Caleb has a different attitude [than the other Israelite leaders]. He has remained loyal to me, so I will bring him and his family into the valleys where the Amalekites and the Canaanites now live.

"Tomorrow, though, turn back. Go toward the desert. Go the way that will bring you to the Red Sea."

Then God told Moses and Aaron, "Give the people this answer: 'Here is what I, the Lord, swear as surely as I live that I will do to you, just as you asked.'"

_My note:_ "As surely as I live?"

_Torah:_ God continued, "'Every one of you who spoke against me will die. I promised you would live in this land, but none of you will, except Caleb and Joshua.'"

_My note:_ Yahweh promised, but now he's breaking his promise—because he doesn't have the ability to keep it, because he's not all-powerful.

_Torah:_ God continued, "'Your children will wander in the wilderness for 40 years. They will suffer for your unfaithfulness. You will know what it means to have me against you. I swear that I will do this to this whole evil community which rebelled against me. Here in the wilderness every one of you will die. I, the Lord, have spoken.'"

_My note:_ This reminds me of _The Wizard of Oz_ , where the wizard says, "The Great Oz has spoken!" Later, the wizard says, "Go – before I lose my temper! The Great and Powerful Oz has spoken!"

Why should Yahweh blame the people for being upset? He promised them land, but all they got was desert. They had to eat manna, when they could have been eating lots of good and nutritious food back in Egypt. They kept running out of water, so they had to drink bitter water, if they could even find water. Then God hit them with plagues that killed tens of thousands. Why shouldn't they be angry? And now, Yahweh is going to break his promise about Canaan?

Yahweh not only punishes the people he said he would forgive; he punishes their children, which isn't fair. Jews and Christians should find themselves a better god, one who keeps his word and who values human life instead of slaughtering people for even minor infractions.

Then again, it could be it's the spirits of our ancestors who influence our lives, as many people in the world believe. Wouldn't it be better to worship the spirits of our good ancestors, rather than worship the god of some foreign, superstitious people, a god who murders innocent women and children, a god who murders his own people for the slightest of reasons, a god who doesn't keep his promises, a god who pretends to be all-powerful and all-knowing, but he clearly isn't? A god who doesn't even know about cartoons? Even little kids know about cartoons. What kind of an all-knowing god never heard of a cartoon?

_Torah:_ Then God [allegedly] struck down the men who had checked out the land and issued a false report to the people. The men died of a plague. These men had made the whole community rebel against Moses. Of the twelve tribal leaders who had scouted out the land, only Joshua and Caleb remained alive.

_My note:_ Once again, another plague by Yahweh against his own people. (Of course, the plague, if it even happened, could have had nothing to do with any god.)

If you get the flu, is that because a god gave it to you, or is it because you caught it from another person?

Of course, maybe supernatural sources are the reason some people get sick, and others don't, but most scientists refuse to accept that possibility because...?

Maybe it's because that's the way the supernatural sources want it!

_Torah:_ Even though Moses told the people what God had told him [allegedly], they refused to listen. The next morning, they started to invade the hill country. They said, "Now we are ready to go to the place God promised."

But Moses said, "Why do you disobey God? You won't succeed in your attack! Don't go! God isn't with you! Your enemies will defeat you!"

The Israelites wouldn't listen. They moved to the hill country without Moses or the ark of the covenant.

The Amalekites and Canaanites attacked the Israelites and defeated them. They chased them all the way to Hormah.

_My note:_ We don't know what really happened here. Maybe Moses ordered the attack, but when he was writing about it later, he said he didn't order the attack. There's no way of knowing what's true here. Maybe there was no attack at all.

[NUMBERS 15]

_Torah:_ One Sabbath day, as the Israelites were in the desert, people saw a man gathering firewood. He was taken to Moses, Aaron and the whole community. He was kept under guard, because it wasn't clear what should be done with him because he had dishonored the Sabbath.

Then God told Moses, "The Israelites must stone him to death outside the camp."

_My note:_ The punishment to the man was brutal and extreme. Stoning someone to death for gathering firewood on the Sabbath?

_Torah:_ The Israelites did what God had ordered [they stoned the man to death].

Then God told Moses to tell the Israelites, "Make tassels for the corners of your clothes. Put a blue cord on each tassel. Do this for all time to come. The tassels will remind you to obey all of God's commands instead of following your own wishes and desires."

_My note:_ Most Christians and Jews don't put tassels on the corners of their clothes, so here again, they disobey their own god—which again could mean that soon, they'll be eating the dead bodies of their sons and daughters [according to Leviticus 26].

[NUMBERS 16]

_Torah:_ One day the Levite Korah and a number of other Israelite leaders rebelled against Moses. They told Moses and Aaron, "You have gone too far. All the Israelites belong to God. God is with all of us. So why do you put yourselves above us?"

When Moses heard this, he fell to the ground and prayed. Then he told the men, "Tomorrow morning God will show us who belongs to him."

Then he said, "Listen, you Levites. God has allowed you to work near his Sacred Tent. Isn't that good enough for you?

"Now you want to be priests. You have joined together against the Lord. When you complain against Aaron, you are really complaining against God."

_My note:_ When you complain against Aaron, you are really complaining against God? You see? Aaron is next to Moses, and Moses is pretending to be God (since there is no real god), so when you complain against Aaron, you're complaining against Moses, which is the same as complaining against God.

Today, if somebody tried to set up the same confidence scheme of a god who couldn't be seen, people would demand proof that such a god exists. They'd want pictures, tape recordings, they'd want God to go on a TV talk show and perform some miracles, etc., but back 3000 years ago, they didn't have any of those things. All the con artists needed back then were naïve and ignorant people, and all they need today are naïve and ignorant people, which is why there is such a huge effort by Judaism and Christianity to keep people naïve and ignorant, even if keeping people that way undermines national security and jeopardizes the economy.

_Torah:_ Moses sent for two of the men who had rebelled against him, Dathan and Abiram, but they refused to come. They said, "Isn't it bad enough that you brought us out of a fertile Egypt to die here in the wilderness? Do you have to act like you're above us, too? You certainly haven't led us to fertile land, and now you're trying to trick us. No, we won't come!"

Moses became angry and said to God, "Don't accept their offerings. I haven't wronged any of them. I haven't even taken a single donkey."

_My note:_ Who is Moses to give God orders?

_Torah:_ Moses told Korah, "Tomorrow you and your 250 followers must come to the Sacred Tent. Each man must get a shallow cup and put incense in it."

Each man got his cup, went to the Sacred Tent, and put live coals and incense in their cups.

Suddenly a brilliant light appeared to all the Israelites. God told Moses and Aaron [allegedly], "Step back from these people. I am about to destroy them."

Moses and Aaron bowed with their faces to the ground and said, "God, you are the source of life. Will you be angry at the whole community for the sins of one man?"

God told Moses, "Tell the Israelites to move away from the tents of Korah, Dathan and Abiram."

Moses told the Israelites, "Move away from the tents of these wicked men. Don't touch anything they own. If you do, you too will be destroyed."

The people moved away from the tents of Korah, Dathan and Abiram, who were standing in front of their tents with their families.

_My note:_ One of the most important psychological tricks that the authors of the Torah use is to put the fear of God into people, as here and elsewhere.

If you told a psychiatrist that you are afraid of an all-powerful invisible man who is influencing or controlling your life, and you make no reference to religion, you'd be diagnosed as being delusional or psychotic.

Thus, it should be clear that the confidence scheme that surrounds Yahweh is so effective that it actually makes people delusional or psychotic.

_Torah:_ Then Moses said, "Something bad is going to happen to these men that doesn't normally happen. The earth will open up and swallow them, and they will go down alive to the world of the dead. When that happens, you will know these men offended God."

As soon as Moses stopped speaking, the ground under the men and their families broke open and swallowed the men and their families, and everything they owned. Then the ground closed over them.

All the Israelites heard their cries. They yelled, "Run, run! The earth will swallow us, too."

_My note:_ Does that mean whenever anyone is swallowed up by an earthquake or drowned in a tsunami, that it was a god that made it happen?

This is just another way to put the fear of god into the Israelites, and later, the Jews and Christians.

It should be obvious that the authors of the Torah were pretty good storytellers, and they knew how to play to people's fears and hopes. Maybe one of the reasons there are so many Jews in Hollywood and television is that the Jews are good at creating believable stories, like _Jaws_ , which is all fiction, but it's realistic enough that it could pass for fact to naïve and ignorant people.

Did you know that the title of the movie, _Jaws_ , was a subliminal message, because the word _Jaws_ is one letter away from the word "Jews"?

The purpose of the message was to make people think, subconsciously, that the Jews are as dangerous as Great White Sharks.

I'm only kidding. It was a believable story, though, wasn't it?

_Torah:_ Then God sent a fire that burned up the 250 men who had offered the incense.

_My note:_ How could a fire be so accurate that it killed only the 250 men who had offered the incense? It sounds like another tall tale to me.

Of course, Moses himself could have burned up the 250 men who had offered the incense by using an incense that exploded when lit. Moses certainly wasn't hesitant about killing people. In fact, if Moses was fooling people all along by pretending to be Yahweh, that would mean that every time Yahweh told the Israelites to kill people, it was actually Moses who told the Israelites to kill people, which means Moses was a far more savage murderer than Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer or Wayne Williams.

Imagine praying to someone like Charles Manson?

_Torah:_ God told Moses, "Tell the priest Eleazar, the son of Aaron, to remove the shallow cups from those who were burned. Tell him to hammer those cups into thin plates to cover the altar. Let the cups be a warning that no one except a descendant of Aaron should come to the altar to burn incense to God."

_My note:_ But Moses was the one who told the 250 who had offered the incense to come to the Sacred Tent. (He told Korah, earlier, "Tomorrow you and your 250 followers must come to the Sacred Tent. Each man must get a shallow cup and put incense in it.")

Moses apparently deceived the people to come to the Sacred Tent, then he killed them, then he said he killed them because they came to the tent.

_Torah:_ Moses did as God had commanded [he hammered the cups into thin plates to cover the altar].

The next day, the Israelites criticized Moses and Aaron. They said, "You have killed some of God's people."

_My note:_ Notice that the Israelites blamed Moses and Aaron for killing the Israelites, even though the text says God killed them. This suggests that the author(s) of this part of the Torah is getting confused and is being inconsistent.

Also, you would think that after some of the Israelites who opposed Moses got swallowed up by the earth, and the others were burned to death, that the rest of the Israelites would keep their mouths shut. But they didn't. Here they are, still full of criticism.

Which means?

Which means there's something wrong with this story, like so many other stories in the Torah.

_Torah:_ Then the Israelites saw that a cloud had covered the Sacred Tent and that a brilliant light had appeared.

_My note:_ It must be Joshua, Moses' assistant, once again coming to Moses' rescue.

_Torah:_ Moses and Aaron moved to the entrance of the Sacred Tent. God [or the voice of God, coming from Joshua?] told Moses, "Move away from these people. Then I can destroy all of them."

Moses and Aaron bowed down with their faces to the ground. Moses told Aaron, "Take your incense cup. Put incense in it, and fire from the altar. Then hurry to the people and perform the purification ritual. The wrath from God has come. The plague against the people has already started."

Aaron obeyed. He ran among the people. He stood between the living and the dead. The plague stopped, but 14,700 people had died from the plague. [It sounds like the plague happened in a matter of minutes. No plague can act that fast.]

Then Aaron returned to the entrance of the Sacred Tent.

_My note:_ God used a plague to kill 14,700 people? Or was it Moses who started the plague? Maybe Moses knew how to start plagues. It's not so difficult, if one has the know-how.

If only some of the Israelites criticized Moses and Aaron, why would God kill 14,700 people?

Once again, it probably never happened; or if a plague happened, it probably occurred due to natural causes.

Today, however, thanks to the internet, millions of people can learn how to start plagues. It would be easier to guard against such people if there was only a single religion in the world, because then people from different religions wouldn't be fighting each other.

It would also help if young people learned more about first aid, CPR, and foreign affairs, about which most Americans know next to nothing. Instead, young people waste a huge amount of time reading the nonsense in—what else?—the Bible.

It's amazing that one-third of the world's people (Christians and Jews) are still deceived today by an obviously fictional book written 1900-3500 years ago by people who were trying to outwit simple-minded goat herders and underwear makers.

The next time you see a big American funeral on TV, look at all the people in the church who have been duped by all this Biblical nonsense. Is it any wonder that so many parents were so easily duped when their children were being raped by Catholic priests?

[NUMBERS 17]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Speak to the Israelites. Get one staff from each leader of the twelve tribes. Write each man's name on his staff. Write Aaron's name on the staff of Levi. Put the staffs in the Sacred Tent, in front of the ark. The staff of the man I choose will sprout."

Moses did as he was told.

The next day, Moses saw that only Aaron's staff had grown new shoots. It also produced buds, flowers and almonds. He showed the staffs to the Israelites. They said, "That's the end of us! Are we all going to die?"

_My note:_ More tricks. And the ancient Israelites didn't see through these tricks?

Was this story the inspiration for the Chia Pets?

[NUMBERS 18]

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Aaron, "You and your descendants are in charge of the Sacred Tent. You will be held accountable for any wrongdoing connected with serving in the Tent.

"Get the Levites to join you. They will work for you. But they must not touch any of the sacred objects, or the altar. If they do, you and they will die.

"Only you and your descendants can serve as priests. Anyone else who comes near the Sacred Tent must be put to death."

_My note:_ Imagine killing someone just because they came near a tent. That's wacko. And what was going on inside that tent that was such a big secret?

Also, notice now that God is talking to Aaron, not Moses.

_Torah:_ God continued telling Aaron [allegedly], "The Israelites will give me sacred offerings. I will give all those offerings to you [Aaron] and your descendants. They belong to you....

"All the best olive oil and grain that the people give me, I will give to you, plus all the best and freshest wine. The people must give me these things as the first share of their harvest. All those shares belong to you.

"Every firstborn male child or animal that the Israelites give me belongs to you. But you must allow the parents to buy back the child, and you must also sell back every firstborn animal which is ritually clean."

_My note:_ The previous paragraph is inconsistent with Numbers 3, where God reportedly told Moses, "I have taken [the Levites] in place of the oldest son who is born to each Israelite woman..."

Also, it seems that Yahweh (or Moses pretending to be Yahweh) must have gotten a little scared with all the criticism and recent mutinies, so he's letting the high priests and the Levites know that they will be rewarded if they go along with Moses and all his savagery, but if they don't go along with him, they'll be on their own and they will no longer be on easy street.

Here again, compelling the Israelites to give part of their harvest to Aaron and the other priests is no different than the Mafia ordering people to pay protection money. And telling people that their children belong to Aaron and his descendants, and to get their children back, the people must buy them back, is even more extreme than anything the Mafia does.

So you see? Moses and Aaron were members of a racketeering organization—but if you say this to some Jews and Christians, there's a good chance they'll want to kill you, just like members of a racketeering organization would.

Most Christians and Jews will never see through this con game, no matter how clearly you point out what's going on, which just goes to show you how young minds can be locked into idiotic ways of thinking, and how parents and other adults can turn the perfectly fine minds of children into the slow minds of dull-witted sheep.

Is that what you've done to your own children? Is that what your parents did to you?

_Torah:_ God continued talking to Aaron [allegedly], "Children shall be bought back for a price of five pieces of silver, according to the standard weights that are kept in the Sacred Tent. But the firstborn of cows, sheep and goats cannot be bought back. They belong completely to me [i.e., the high priests]; the meat belongs to you [Aaron]. No matter what it is, I will give it to you and your descendants."

Then God told Aaron [allegedly], "You will not receive any part of the land I am giving to the Israelites. I, the Lord, am all that you need.

"The Israelites will give me one-tenth of what they produce. I will give it to the Levites, who will work at the Sacred Tent."

Then God told Moses [allegedly], "Tell the Levites that they must give Aaron one-tenth of the tenth that is given to them. They must give him the best part of what they receive. Then they will not be guilty of holding anything back."

_My note:_ So the Levites get ten percent, from 600,000 men, and Aaron gets ten percent of that. That means that if each of the 600,000 men produces 100 bushels of grain, and they give ten percent to the Levites, that means the Levites get 6 million bushels of grain (600,000 x 100 x 10%). The Levites, in turn, give Aaron ten percent of that, which would be 600,000 bushels of grain.

You can see that Aaron's going to get rich mighty fast.

[NUMBERS 19]

_Torah:_ Later, God told Moses and Aaron to sacrifice a red cow and keep its ashes so they could be added to water to make it special.

_My note:_ This creates another superstition.

God also said, "This law will last for all time to come. Anyone who touches a corpse shall be ritually unclean for seven days. He must purify himself with the special water on the third and seventh days. Then he will be clean. If he does not use the special water, he will remain ritually unclean and he will no longer be considered one of God's chosen people."

_My note:_ The rule means that when someone dies, any family member who touches the dead person becomes unclean, and they have to use the special water.

Do you think the special water is free, or do you think people have to pay for it?

If they have to pay for it, that's the high priests, profiting from people's deaths.

[NUMBERS 20]

_Torah:_ In the first month, the Israelites arrived at the desert of Zin. They camped at Kadesh. Miriam died there and was buried.

_My note:_ So much for Miriam. Nothing about anyone mourning her loss.

It seems Moses didn't like Miriam, even though she was Moses' sister. And it's also interesting that nothing more is said about Zipporah, Moses' wife, or about Moses' children. Nothing at all.

_Torah:_ There was no water where the Israelites camped, so the people gathered together and complained to Moses and Aaron.

"Why did you bring us into this desert?" they said. "We will die here. There is hardly any food, and no water."

God told Moses [allegedly], "Get your staff. Then gather everyone together and speak to that rock while everyone is watching. Water will pour from the rock."

Moses did as God had commanded. He hit the rock twice with his staff. Water poured out. The people and their animals drank it. The place was named Meribah.

_My note:_ Moses spoke to the rock? What did he say to the rock? "Yo, Rock. How about some water?"

Today, speaking to a rock might get you shuffled off to a psychiatric hospital.

Also, the Bible suggests that the rock provided enough water for 1.5 million people, and all their livestock.

Absolute nonsense.

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses and Aaron, "You did not have enough faith to honor my holy power in front of the people. Because of that, you will not lead the people into the promised land."

Moses sent messengers from the camp in Kadesh to the king of Edom, who lived nearby. The messengers asked the king if he would let the Israelites pass through Edom.... The people of Edom said, "You can't pass through. If you try, we'll attack you."

Moses' messengers said, "All we want to do is go through your land. We'll go straight through. If our animals drink any water, we'll pay for it."

"You can't go through," said the people of Edom. Then the people of Edom came out with a large army, so the Israelites went another way.

_My note:_ If Yahweh was all-powerful, he would have pushed aside the people of Edom like they were grains of sand.

Here again, Yahweh obviously had no power.

_Torah:_ When the Israelites arrived at Mount Hor, God told Moses and Aaron, "Aaron is going to die, because both of you rebelled against my orders at Meribah. Aaron will not enter the land I promised to the Israelites.

"Aaron and his son Eleazar must come up Mount Hor. Aaron should give his robes to Eleazar. Aaron will die on the mountain."

The three men went up the mountain while the Israelites watched. Aaron died on top of the mountain. Then Moses and Eleazar came back down.

_My note:_ Why would Aaron go up the mountain if Yahweh said he was going to die up there? I wouldn't. I'd stay off the mountain.

The interesting question is, "Did Moses or Eleazar kill Aaron?"

Aaron must have been in pretty good shape, if he was able to walk to the top of the mountain. Then, suddenly, he dies?

Sounds fishy to me.

_Torah:_ When the people learned of Aaron's death, they mourned him for 30 days.

_My note:_ Mourned him? Just a few paragraphs back, they wanted to kill him.

Once again, there are so many lies in the Torah that it's doubtful whether any of these things happened.

"You better not say the Torah is full of lies, or I'll cause the earth to swallow you up!"

"Okay, go ahead."

"Ah, I'll do it tomorrow."

[NUMBERS 21]

_Torah:_ The city of Arad was located in the Negev Desert. When the king of Arad heard the Israelites were coming, he attacked them and captured some. The Israelites then vowed to God, "If you let us defeat these people, we will dedicate them and their city to you, and we'll destroy them."

God gave the Israelites what they asked for, so they completely destroyed Arad and his army.

The Israelites traveled from Mount Hor toward the Red Sea. On the way, they grew weary. They complained once more against God and Moses. They said, "Why did you bring us from Egypt? Do you want us to die here? We don't have any bread or water."

God replied by sending poisonous snakes among the Israelites.

_My note:_ Why didn't Yahweh reply by sending them bread and water? That's not an unreasonable request. But instead, he sends snakes?

Yahweh is a major jackass, I don't care what anyone says. The Pope should announce that this god is a phony and he no longer represents the Catholic Church, but you know the Pope won't do that, because he's chicken. Plus, he's surrounded by bird-brained cardinals who would start flying into walls if they had to tell the truth.

Is there any way to save the minds of all these people? I don't think there is, unless you arrest them all and put them in re-education camps, where for an hour every day they would have to gobble like a turkey. If they did this for a month, maybe they would end up thinking they were turkeys instead of cardinals, which is at least a start. Then you could make them think they're kitty cats, and puppy dogs, and baby alligators, and then dinosaurs, and they can go around going "Grr! Grr!" at each other.

What have we got to lose?

_Torah:_ Many people were bitten by the snakes and died. Other people approached Moses and said, "We sinned against you and God. Please ask God to remove the snakes." So Moses prayed for it to happen.

God told Moses [allegedly], "Make a snake from bronze. Put it on a pole. Whoever is bitten by a snake can look at the pole and be saved."

Moses made a snake and put it on a pole. Afterwards, whoever looked at the snake on the pole was saved.

_My note:_ That easy? Saved just by looking at a bronze snake on a pole?

I don't believe it, but if the Jewish, Protestant and Catholic clergy believe it, maybe we should conduct some experiments. Who wants to be bitten first? Just put your hand in the jar, then look at the bronze snake on the pole. Come on now, don't be shy. Have faith!

Where's Joel Osteen. Joel, you try it. Try it on your television show, in front of all those people who come to hear you speak, and all those who watch at home.

Come on, what's the worst that can happen?

_Torah:_ The Israelites came to the land of the Amorites. They sent messengers to Sihon, the Amorite king, asking if he would allow the Israelites to pass through his land.

King Sihon said no. He called his army together and marched out to fight the Israelites, but the Israelites defeated the Amorites and settled in their land and cities. They also defeated Og, the king of Bashan, and his army and took their land for themselves. They didn't leave anyone alive.

_My note:_ Killed everyone? Not even the Nazis went into cities and killed everyone—which means the ancient Israelites were at least as bad as the Nazis.

Of course, modern Jews and Christians cover this up, just like they cover up so many other things.

[NUMBERS 22 – the appearance of the world's first talking donkey]

_Torah:_ The Israelites moved and set up camp on the plains of Moab, which was on the east side of the Jordan River, across the river from the city of Jericho.

Balak was the king of the Moabites. He had seen what the Israelites had done to the Amorites, so he sent messengers to get Balaam the magician. He wanted Balaam to use magic and figure things out for the Moabites.

King Balak told his messengers to tell Balaam, "I know that when you bless people, they are blessed, and when you curse people, they are cursed. A whole nation, the Israelites, has come out of Egypt. They have settled down next to Moab. They are too powerful for me. Please come put a curse on these people."

The messengers left to get Balaam. They took money to pay him. When they found him, Balaam said, "Spend the night here. I will give you the answer that God gives me."

So the messengers stayed.

God came to Balaam [allegedly] and asked him, "Who are these people with you?"

_My note:_ All of a sudden, Yahweh appears out of nowhere?

And if Yahweh was all-knowing, he would have known who the people were.

Plus, why would Yahweh talk to Balaam, who wasn't even an Israelite? For all this time, Yahweh wouldn't talk to any of the Israelites except Moses (and a couple of times, Aaron and Miriam), but now here he is, talking to a non-Israelite?

Plus, it doesn't say that Yahweh appeared to Balaam as a cloud, or a talking shrub, or a talking apple tree. It doesn't say anything at all about his appearance. That sounds pretty strange to me. Did Yahweh look like a man when he allegedly talked to Balaam?

_Torah:_ Balaam said to God, "The people are messengers from King Balak, the king of the Moabites. King Balak says a nation has come from Egypt and they are spreading everywhere, so he asks me to put a curse on them."

God said, "Don't put a curse on them. I have blessed them."

The next morning, Balaam told the messengers, "Go back to your country. God won't let me go with you."

The messengers returned to King Balak. "Balaam wouldn't come with us," they said.

King Balak sent other, more important messengers to Balaam. They told Balaam, "King Balak will make you very rich. He'll do anything you say. Please come with us and put a curse on the Israelites."

Balaam said, "Even if King Balak gave me all the silver and gold in his palace, I can't disobey God. Stay here tonight so I may learn if God has anything more to tell me."

That night God told Balaam [allegedly], "Go with these men, but do only what I say."

The next morning, Balaam put a saddle on his donkey and went with the messengers to see King Balak.

_My note:_ How does the author know what Yahweh said to Balaam, and what King Balak said to his messengers? Did the author interview Balaam after this incident, and did he interview King Balak?

Of course he didn't. Once again, it's fiction.

_Torah:_ [For some reason not stated in the Bible, God became angry that Balaam was going with the messengers, even though God had given his permission, so God's angel stood in the road to block Balaam's way.]

Balaam was riding his donkey. His two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel standing in the road with a sword, the donkey turned from the road and went into a field. Balaam hit the donkey and brought it back to the road.

Then the angel appeared at a narrow path between two walls. The donkey saw the angel, so it moved close to the wall and crushed Balaam's foot. Once again, Balaam hit the donkey.

The angel moved ahead and stood in another narrow place. The donkey saw the angel, so it lay down. Balaam became so angry he hit the donkey with his stick. Then God gave the donkey the power of speech, so the donkey said to Balaam, "What have I done to deserve being hit three times?"

Balaam said, "You made me look foolish. If I had a sword right now, I'd kill you."

"But I'm your donkey," cried the donkey. "Haven't you been riding me all these years? Have I ever made you look foolish before?"

"No," said Balaam.

_My note:_ Notice that Balaam wasn't at all surprised when the donkey started talking.

After this happened, Barney the talking dinosaur came along, and he had a conversation with the talking donkey, and then the talking snake came along and joined in the conversation, and then the talking shrub came along and they all went to the mall and bought ice cream cones!

Guess what? Donkeys can't talk. If you believe they can, you're a lunatic. If you believe that snakes and shrubs can talk, you're a lunatic. There are millions of people in America alone who believe this nonsense, which means I'm surrounded by lunatics.

All these lunatics get to choose who will be the President of the United States, and if you think about all the presidents going back to John F. Kennedy, inclusive, they were all lunatics. The only president who might not have been a lunatic was Gerald Ford, and he wasn't elected to be president, he became president after Nixon resigned.

How do we know they were all lunatics?

Because they all ran for president. Nobody in their right mind would run for president, because of all the stupid things you have to do, and all the lies you have to tell, and all the jerks you have to be nice to, and all the thieves and murderers you have to be friends with. And if you're not in your right mind, you're a... lunatic!

Try this test. Get an appointment with a psychiatrist and tell the psychiatrist that you just had a conversation with a talking donkey, and the donkey talked back to you. Then see what happens.

_Torah:_ Then God let Balaam see the angel who was standing there with a sword. The angel was ready for battle.

Balaam the magician threw himself to the ground.

The angel said, "Why did you beat your donkey three times? I have come to block your way. You should not be going on this journey. If your donkey had not seen me and turned aside, I would have killed you, but I would have let the donkey live."

_My note:_ What the hell are they talking about? The Israelites are just about to attack, the tension is building to a crescendo, the future of the Israelites is at stake, and all of a sudden the action comes to a screeching halt and we switch over to the trials and tribulations of a talking donkey?

You couldn't get 20 people in a mental institution to come up with a story as wacky as this one. And now, billions of people all around the world believe this nonsense because they've all been turned into lunatics by their religions.

"Did the donkey really talk, Grandma?"

"Yes, honey. With God, all things are possible. You can even see talking donkeys today. Watch FoxNews."

_Torah:_ Balaam said to the angel, "I have sinned. I didn't know you were standing in the road. If you think it's wrong for me to continue, I'll return home."

The angel said, "Continue, but say only what I tell you."

_My note:_ First Yahweh tells Balaam to go with King Balak's men, then he sends an angel to stand in Balaam's way, then the angel says it's okay to go?

There's something wrong with this story, too.

_Torah:_ So Balaam continued on with King Balak's messengers.

When King Balak heard that Balaam the magician was coming, he went to meet him. He asked him, "Why didn't you come when I first sent for you? Did you think I didn't have enough to pay you?"

"I'm here now," said Balaam, "but I can only say what God tells me to say."

The next morning, King Balak took Balaam to a place where Balaam could see some of the Israelites.

[NUMBERS 23]

_Torah:_ Balaam told King Balak, "Make me seven altars, and bring me seven bulls and seven rams."

King Balak did as he was told. The two men sacrificed a bull and ram on each altar.

Balaam then said, "Stay here. I'll go see if I can find out what God wants me to do. Then I'll tell you what he said."

God met Balaam on a hilltop. He gave Balaam a message.

_My note:_ All of a sudden, Yahweh is best buddies with a non-Israelite named Balaam? This doesn't make sense.

Once again, it's fiction.

_Torah:_ Balaam returned to King Balak and said, "How can I curse people God hasn't cursed? How can I speak against those who God hasn't spoken against? The Israelites know they are blessed more than other nations. There are too many of them to be counted. Let me die as godly people die. Let me die in peace like they do."

_My note:_ Later, as you'll see, Balaam was slaughtered by the Israelites. That was his thanks for obeying Yahweh.

It's amazing that people will center their entire lives around this Torah for more than 3000 years, even though they have no idea what parts of it are true, and what parts are false, and even though the consequence of adhering to the Torah has been slaughter after slaughter of the Jews, for more than 3000 years.

You would think that after the first 2500 years of slaughter, the followers of the Torah would have gotten the message, but they didn't. That shows how effectively they have been terrified by the stories in the Torah, and how effectively their ancestors, generation after generation, century after century, have fallen for the con, and how effectively the high priests and the rabbis have maintained the con over the centuries, and how the high priests and rabbis are more concerned about their income and wealth than they are about the Jews they keep putting at risk.

_Torah:_ King Balak said to Balaam, "Come where you can see some other Israelites." So Balaam did. Again they built seven altars, and sacrificed a bull and ram at each altar. Then Balaam went and talked to God.

When he returned, Balaam told King Balak, "God is not like people, who lie. He is not like a human who changes his mind. Whatever God promises, he does. He told me to bless Israel, and when he has blessed them, I can't take it back."

_My note:_ Actually, Yahweh lies quite a bit, and he changes his mind quite a bit, and he also breaks his promises quite a bit.

_Torah:_ Balaam continued, "God brought the Israelites out of Egypt. He fights for them like a wild ox. There is no magic or witchcraft that can hurt the Israelites. They are like a powerful lion which doesn't rest until it drinks the blood of those it has killed."

_My note:_ Fine rhetoric, but pure nonsense.

_Torah:_ Then King Balak told Balaam, "You won't curse the Israelites, but at least don't bless them."

Balaam said, "I do what God tells me."

King Balak took Balaam to a third place. Again, seven altars were built, and seven bulls and seven rams were sacrificed.

_My note:_ Is Balaam eating all these sacrifices?

If so, he must have quite an appetite.

[NUMBERS 24]

_Torah:_ When Balaam saw that God had blessed Israel, he didn't resort to magic. Instead, he turned his face toward the desert.

Then the spirit of God came to Balaam. Balaam told King Balak, "God brought the Israelites out of Egypt. He fights for them like a wild ox. They devour their enemies. They crush the bones of their enemies and break their arrows. The Israelites are like a powerful lion. When it sleeps, no one dares to wake it. Whoever blesses the Israelites shall be blessed. Whoever curses them shall be cursed."

_My note:_ It's a nice speech, but like so many other nice speeches, it's not exactly accurate, since history tells us that—far more often than not—it was a curse to be an Israelite, or a Jew.

If it's usually been a curse to be an Israelite, and later, a Jew, why do people keep doing it?

Because they've been subjected to powerful psychological mind control.

_Torah:_ King Balak got angry. He said to Balaam, "I sent for you to curse my enemies, but you blessed them three times. Get out of here, now! Go home. God has kept you from getting rich."

Balaam said, "I told your messengers that no matter how much silver and gold you could give me, I wouldn't disobey God's command. I will only say what God tells me to say.

"Now I will return home, but first let me warn you about the Israelites.

"I see into the future. A king will arise like a star among the Israelites. He will beat down the leaders of Moab. He'll crush all the people of Seth. He'll defeat his enemies in Edom, and take their land. The people of Amalek will be destroyed forever, and the Kenites will be destroyed. Their survivors will be taken captive by the Assyrians."

Then Balaam and King Balak each returned to their own homes.

_My note:_ Notice that Balaam, who said he sees into the future, said nothing about the pogroms or the Holocaust, or about Elizabeth Taylor playing Cleopatra.

[NUMBERS 25]

_Torah:_ The Israelites began having sex with the women of Moab, and worshiping their god, Baal.

God became very angry because the Israelites were having sex with the Moabite women. He sent a plague. Then he told Moses, "Kill all the leaders of the Israelites."

Moses spoke to the Israelite leaders. He told them, "Kill all the men in your tribes who have worshiped Baal."

_My note:_ See? It's just like the Mafia. When you're a member of one Mafia family, you can't pay tribute to the don of some other Mafia family. That's the equivalent of treason, for which the penalty is death.

_Torah:_ An Israelite man took a Midianite woman into his tent in front of Moses and everyone else. Phineas, the son of Eleazar, saw this and took a spear, followed the man and woman into the tent, and stabbed them both with the spear. That stopped the plague, but it had killed 24,000 people.

_My note:_ Another 24,000 Israelites killed by Yahweh?

Notice that, once again, Yahweh killed all these Israelites because of the behavior of only some of the Israelites. That's like the Nazis killing millions of Jews based on the bad behavior of only some Jews (which is actually what happened).

Doesn't that mean that Yahweh was as unfair as the Nazis?

Of course, if you say that Yahweh was as unfair as the Nazis, that gets a lot of people angry, even if you can back up your charge with facts (and there are plenty of facts which show that Yahweh was unfair and brutal).

One other thing. This chapter starts off talking about the Israelites having sex with the women of Moab. Is that a suitable subject for children? Wouldn't the children be better off learning addition and subtraction, and how to perform cyber attacks?

_Torah:_ God said, "Phineas [who killed the man and woman with a spear] is a priest. He is the son of Eleazar, who is the son of Aaron. He has diverted my anger because he refused to tolerate the worship of Baal. I am making a covenant with him that he and his descendants will be priests forever."

_My note:_ That covenant was already made.

_Torah:_ Then God told Moses, "Destroy the Midianites. They treated you as enemies and tricked you into worshipping Baal. Kill them."

_My note:_ If Yahweh's behavior was put before most American psychiatrists, but instead of calling him a god, they were told, "This person said such-and-such, and did so-and-so", the psychiatrists would call this god a paranoid psychotic. But American psychiatrists wouldn't dare say such a thing about Yahweh, because most American psychiatrists are like the Pope and the cardinals. They're chickens.

[NUMBERS 26]

_Torah:_ After the plague, God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses and Eleazar to count all the men of Israel who were 20 years old or more. They did. The total number came to 601,730.

Then God told Moses, "Divide up the land according to the size of each tribe."

The male Levites who were one month or older amounted to 23,000. They were listed separately, because they were not given any property.

At the time, the Israelites were still in Moab by the Jordan River, across the river from Jericho.

None of the Israelites who were counted this time were in the first count which had taken place in the desert, except for Joshua and Caleb.

_My note:_ How can 601,730 men, and their wives, and their children, live in the desert for up to 40 years with little or no food or water?

Lies, lies, lies.

What's sad is that Jews and Christians are taught to believe that all these lies are true, which makes them easy prey for other liars throughout their lives.

[NUMBERS 27]

_Torah:_ The daughters of Zelophehad went to Moses and Eleazar. They said, "Our father died in the desert, but he wasn't one of the ones who turned against God. Our father died without sons. Why should our father's name disappear from the family because he had no sons? Please give us his property."

Moses presented their case to God. God said, "The daughters are right. They should get their father's inheritance. Tell the Israelites that from now on, if a man dies and he has no son, his daughter shall inherit his property. If he has no daughter, his brothers are to inherit it, then his uncles, then the nearest male relative."

_My note:_ At least Yahweh (Moses? The authors?) were fair to these women.

_Torah:_ God then told Moses [allegedly], "Climb the Abarim Mountains and see the land I am giving to the Israelites. After you see it, you will die, like your brother Aaron did, because you did not obey me in the desert of Zin."

_My note:_ Moses was going to die anyway, sooner or later, just like we're all going to die, sooner or later. Saying he's going to die because he didn't obey Yahweh is just trying to create a superstition so that people, after Moses dies, will continue to obey the commands of whoever is pretending to be Yahweh.

Here's how it works. If the Israelites don't obey Yahweh's commands, and something bad happens to them, they'll say, "The bad thing happened because we didn't obey Yahweh's commands." But Yahweh has so many commands that some of the Israelites, at one time or another, are bound to disobey some of Yahweh's commands. But even if only some Israelites disobey some of Yahweh's commands, all of the Israelites can be punished. So there's no way around it. The Israelites, at some point in the future, will ALWAYS be punished because of the actions of some of them.

But let's suppose all of the Israelites obeyed all of Yahweh's commands all of the time (which isn't possible, but let's assume they can do it). What happens then?

First of all, the Israelites would have to go back to all of Yahweh's original commands. That would mean doing a bunch of things that are stupid, because let's face it: some of Yahweh's original commands were pretty stupid and unfair, like stoning someone to death for working on the Sabbath.

But let's assume the Jews are willing to go back to all of Yahweh's original commands. What would happen?

Most people in the world would become Jews, because it says, in Exodus 22:25, that God said, "If you lend money to an Israelite who is in need, don't charge interest", and this is repeated in Leviticus 25:36. Thus, people all over the world would want to become Jews because, by doing so, they would get zero-interest loans. This would destroy the world economy, but no one would blame it on the Jews, because everyone would be Jewish.

However, the more people who become Jews, the greater the chance that one of them will disobey Yahweh, with all the frightful consequences that implies.

It seems there's no way around it. If you're an Israelite, or a Jew, you're going to be punished, even if you and your own family did nothing wrong, and even if you and your own family are good, righteous people. The only way around it is to change your religion.

But even if you change your religion, it doesn't matter, because you will be punished for worshipping other gods, and Yahweh will almost certainly consider Jesus and Allah other gods. Which means?

It means if you're Jewish, you're done for. If you stay Jewish, you're done for, and if you try to convert to something else, you're done for.

That's about the craziest religion I ever heard of.

Of course, Judaism and Christianity aren't religions, they're confidence schemes, so that gets rid of all the self-fulfilling prophecies which are based on lies. That means everyone will be saved, once they know the truth. Only those who still fall victim to the lies, and those who continue to victimize, will be in danger.

_Torah:_ Moses said to God, "God, please appoint a man to lead the Israelites."

God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] said to Moses, "Joshua, son of Nun, is a capable man. Have him stand before Eleazer and the Israelites and put your hands on his head. Declare him to be your successor before the whole community. Eleazar the priest will help him make decisions. Eleazar will get help from me using the Urim and Thummin."

_My note:_ In other words, when Moses dies, someone will need to take the place of Joshua, who has been working behind the scenes in the Sacred Tent, causing the clouds and fires to appear, and the bright lights, etc.

Now, if Joshua is to be the front man, he needs someone in the Tent, so Eleazar will be the new man in the Tent (the man behind the curtain).

The "Urim and Thummin" are apparently the devices used by Moses and Joshua to perform many of their magic tricks.

_Torah:_ Moses did what God had commanded.

[NUMBERS 28-29]

_Torah:_ [God tells Moses to tell the people to make sure they bring offerings to God (the priests) on a regular basis, and God talks again about what should be done for various holidays.]

[NUMBERS 30]

_Torah:_ Moses told the Israelites, "Here is what God has commanded:

"If a man promised to give something to God [the priests], or promised to refrain from doing something, he must keep his word.

"If a young woman living in her father's house vows to give something to God [the priests], or vows to refrain from doing something, she must do what she promised unless her father objects. If her father objects, she is released from the promise.

"If a young woman living in her father's house makes a vow or promise to God [the priests], then gets married, she must keep her vow or promise unless her husband objects. If her husband objects, she is released from the vow or promise.

"A married woman who makes a vow or promise to God [the priests] must fulfill her vow or promise unless her husband objects. If he objects, she is released from the vow or promise.

"A widow who makes a vow or promise to God [the priests] must fulfill her vow or promise."

[NUMBERS 31]

_Torah:_ God told Moses, "Punish the Midianites for what they did to the Israelites. After that, you will die."

Moses sent 12,000 men (1000 from each tribe) into battle against the Midianites.

_My note:_ In Numbers 11, it said the Israelites had 600,000 men, but he only sent 12,000 of the men into battle? Why not send more, to guarantee a win?

As we have already seen, the 600,000-men figure was a lie.

_Torah:_ Phineas the priest also went with the soldiers, with articles from the Sacred Tent, and with trumpets. The Israelites killed all the Midianite men, including the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam, who had talked with his donkey.

_My note:_ Why did they kill Balaam? He was the one who refused to curse the Israelites. I bet now he wishes he DID curse the Israelites.

_Torah:_ The Israelites captured the women and children of Midian, and took all their animals and other property. Then they returned to their camp on the plains of Moab.

Moses was angry with the officers. He asked, "Why did you let the women live? Weren't they the ones who led the Israelites to be unfaithful to God? Kill all the boys and every woman who has ever had sex. Keep the girls and women who are virgins for yourselves."

_My note:_ Imagine a modern military officer saying to his troops, "Kill all the boys and every woman who has ever had sex." That's pretty messed up, right?

Also, when it says, "Weren't they [the Moabite women] the ones who led the Israelites to be unfaithful to God?", isn't that a cop-out? Shouldn't the men who had sex with the women be held responsible for their own actions? Holding the women responsible is like blaming Eve for Adam eating from the tree of knowledge.

Next, Moses also ordered that the Midianite girls, and women who were virgins, be enslaved. What did the Israelites do? Go around checking all the women to see if they were virgins? And how much does teaching this sick story to today's Jewish and Christian boys pervert their personalities?

In addition, by ordering a mass murder of civilians, how is Moses, the great prophet of the Israelites, different from Adolph Hitler? And what are we going to hear from Biblical apologists? That things were different in the time of Moses, so that this mass killing was okay? Is that also the position of the Catholic Church? Or will the Catholic Church condemn Yahweh, and Moses, for all the crimes they committed?

You know the Catholic Church wouldn't dare condemn Yahweh for his crimes.

They're like little kids. They'll say anything they can to try to get out of admitting the truth. And this has been going on for almost 2000 years with the Catholics.

Given the Church's behavior, and especially its behavior now, when it's clear that many priests used their positions to rape children, and other Catholic clergy, including the Pope, failed to appreciate the damage that was being done to children, and failed to protect children adequately, how can the Church claim that the Pope is infallible in faith and morals?

The Pope isn't infallible in faith and morals. It's all a big lie.

_Torah:_ The priest Eleazar told the soldiers, "God's law requires that you give me all the gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin and lead so I can purify it by putting it through fire. Everything else must be purified by the Holy Water."

_My note:_ Purify it by putting it through fire? What's Eleazar gonna do, skim some off the top?

_Torah:_ God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] then told Moses, "Count all the people and animals you took from the Midianites. Divide them equally between the soldiers and the rest of the community. Give me [i.e., the priests] one out of every 500 people and animals that are given to the soldiers. That's for me. Give it to the priest Eleazer."

_My note:_ Since all the Midianite men were killed, Eleazar the priest gets one or more girls and/or women who are virgins.

So we see that the priest doesn't exactly fit our modern idea of what a priest is.

_Torah:_ God continued [allegedly], "[After you've given me my share,] give the Levites one of every 50 people and animals that are given to the community."

The officers told Moses, "Not one of our soldiers is missing, so we have brought an offering to the Lord." They gave the offering, which included 420 pounds of gold, to Moses and the priest Eleazar.

_My note:_ At today's prices, that would be about 11.4 million U.S. dollars (420 pounds x 16 ounces/pound x 1,700 dollars/ounce).

[NUMBERS 32-33]

_Torah:_ The tribes of Reuben and Gad had a lot of livestock. They asked Moses for land on the east bank of the Jordan River. That land was just right for cattle.

"Please don't make us cross the Jordan River and settle there," they said.

Moses replied, "Do you want to remain here while the Israelites go to war? Why do you tell the other Israelites to stay here rather than cross the Jordan River and take the land that God promised them?

"That's what your fathers did when I sent them to check out the land of the Canaanites. They looked at the land, then they talked the people out of going into the land God had given them.

"God became very angry that day. He made the Israelites wander around in the desert for 40 years."

_My note:_ The taking of "the promised land" is much like the taking of Palestine in 1948. The Israelites took the promised land in ancient times because they weren't strong enough to take Egypt (which presumably meant that Yahweh wasn't strong enough to take Egypt).

In modern times, the Jews took Palestine because they had help from the United States, and because the Arabs in Palestine were very poor and not well armed. The Palestinian Arabs had done nothing wrong to the Jews, who constituted only one-third of the people in Palestine (the Palestinian Arabs made up two-thirds).

That's like the blacks and the Hispanics ganging up on the whites and taking over the United States. That wouldn't be right, would it?

But the Jews didn't care what was right. They thought it was right to steal most of Palestine from the Palestinians, because they thought they could take advantage of the weak, just as, when they were weak, others took advantage of them.

Now Israel wants to remain strong so it can take advantage of others, just as the United States wants to remain strong so it can take advantage of others.

Some people who are strong like being strong so they can help others, but not Israel and the United States. They like being strong so they can take advantage of others.

That's what's called "bullying behavior".

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Now you are doing what your ancestors did, once again making God angry with the Israelites. If you people of Reuben and Gad won't follow God now, he'll abandon the Israelites once again."

_My note:_ Why would Yahweh abandon all the Israelites just because of what two of the twelve tribes do? Isn't that like killing twelve Jews for the sins of two Jews?

So once again, Yahweh (or the author, pretending there is a god) show that he isn't fair.

How does this affect today's Jews, to be taught so much unfairness?

_Torah:_ The men of Reuben and Gad said, "We're ready for battle, but first we want to build pens for our animals, and walls around our towns. We'll even lead the attack, and we won't return to our homes here on the east side of the Jordan River until the other Israelites take possession of the land God has given them on the west side of the river."

Moses said, "Do what you promised. Prepare to go across the Jordan River and fight. When the land is under God's control, you can return here. But if you don't do your duty, you will be sinning against God, and your sin will be revealed."

_My note:_ "When the land is under God's control?" Yahweh already gave it to the Israelites, allegedly, so you would think it was already under his control.

Of course, Yahweh didn't give the Israelites anything. Whatever they got, they had to steal.

_Torah:_ The men of Reuben and Gad said, "We will do what God has ordered."

Later, God told Moses [allegedly], "Speak to the Israelites. Tell them to cross the Jordan River into Canaan and drive away all the people who are living there.... Seize the land and settle on it. I am giving it to you. If you do not drive out the people, I will destroy you, just as I planned to destroy them."

Moses told the Israelites what God had said.

_My note:_ Yahweh is going to destroy the Israelites if they don't take the land that Yahweh gave them? Why would Yahweh destroy them for that?

Once again, Yahweh is willing to destroy Israelites almost as readily as he destroys others.

This sounds like Adolph Hitler saying that if the Germans can't win World War II, then Germany deserves to be destroyed (which Hitler actually did say); so once again, Yahweh is much like Hitler.

[NUMBERS 34-35]

_Torah:_ Moses also said, "The land on the east side of the Jordan River will go to the tribes of Reuben and Gad, and half the tribe of Manasseh. The land on the west side of the Jordan River will go to the other nine tribes, and the other half of the tribe of Manasseh."

Then God [or the authors, pretending there is a god] told Moses, "Tell the Israelites that from the property they get, they must give the Levites 42 towns to live in, including pasture land. Also, they should give the Levites six cities of refuge where people can go if they kill someone accidentally...."

God also said, "If anyone uses a weapon of iron, stone or wood to kill someone, that person is guilty of murder. The dead person's nearest relative must put the murderer to death. When he finds the murderer, he must kill him."

_My note:_ Maybe we should have the same rule today: the dead person's nearest relative must put the murderer to death. (One reason we don't have such a rule is that, right now, our society is so intent on removing the killing instincts from people that many people, bereft of those killing instincts, become easy targets for others. People are turned into easy marks by the predators, who then exploit, rape and even destroy them.)

_Torah:_ God continued telling Moses [allegedly], "But what if the person kills someone he doesn't hate, whether by pushing him, throwing something at him, or throwing a stone that kills him accidentally? In those cases, the community must judge in favor of the person who killed accidentally, and not in favor of the relative who seeks revenge.

"Under those circumstances, the person is only guilty of manslaughter, and the community must protect him from the dead person's relative and return him to the city of refuge where he first escaped to. The person must live there until the death of the high priest."

_My note:_ Why would he have to stay in the city of refuge until the death of the high priest?

Probably because the high priest will get some benefit from it.

_Torah:_ God continued telling Moses [allegedly], "If the accused person leaves the city of refuge to which he escaped and the dead person's relative kills him, the relative is not guilty of murder.

"People who are accused of murder may be put to death only if there are two or more witnesses to the murder. The evidence of only one witness isn't enough.

"Murderers must be put to death. They cannot escape death by the payment of money."

_My note:_ That would mean George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush would all be put to death if this law was in place worldwide, since they are all responsible for murdering the 500,000-plus children in Iraq.

[NUMBERS 36]

_Torah:_ God also told Moses [allegedly], "Property in Israel must not pass from one tribe to another. Everyone in Israel must keep his family's share of his tribe's land."

_My note:_ The Jews overruled Yahweh on this one, too.

**DEUTERONOMY — Much of this chapter is a recapitulation of chapters 2-4 (Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers).**

[DEUTERONOMY 1-3]

_Torah:_ It has now been 40 years since the Israelites left Egypt. On the first day of the eleventh month, Moses told the Israelites everything God had ordered Moses to tell them. (The Israelites were still in Moab, east of the Jordan River.)

Moses began to explain the law. He reminded the Israelites that God had spoken to them at Mount Sinai, and that God had said [allegedly]:

"You have stayed long enough at Mount Sinai. Take down your tents. Go into the land of the Amorites and to the land of their neighbors. Go to the mountains and the western hills, the Negev Desert, along the coast, to the land of Canaan, to Lebanon, and as far as the Euphrates River.

"I have given you all that land. Take it as your own. I promised it to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and their descendants."

_My note:_ All the way to the Euphrates, including Lebanon? Which means, as we have already seen, part of Egypt, all of Lebanon, all of Palestine, all of Jordan, a large part of Syria, a part of Saudi Arabia, and half of Iraq.

So you can see that there will be some Jews who think that all that land is theirs, not because some god said so, but because the authors of the Torah (having created a fictional god) said so.

Here's the problem. Just the other day, I was talking to a chocolate chip cookie. The cookie said it was God. It told me that it was giving me all of Ireland. Does that mean all of Ireland is mine?

Answer: Only if I can get a U.N. resolution, and steal Ireland from its current inhabitants.

_Torah:_ Moses then said to the Israelites, "At that time [at Mount Sinai], I told you that you were too big a burden for me to carry alone. God has increased your numbers. There's as many of you as there are stars in the sky. The Lord is the God of your people.

"May God increase your numbers a thousand times. May he bless you, as he promised he would. But I can't handle all your problems by myself. I can't settle all your arguments.

"So, choose some wise men from each of the tribes. They must know how to give good advice. The people must respect them. I will appoint them as your leaders.

"The tribes agreed to this [selection of leaders]. I took the men they selected, some from every tribe, and appointed them to various offices. I instructed them to be perfectly fair at all times, even to foreigners....

"Then we left Mount Horeb and traveled through the terrible desert, finally arriving at the Amorite hills to which God had sent us.... I told the people, 'Go and take the land....'

"But the people replied, 'First we should send out spies...'"

[This continues, describing how the Israelites refused to go into the land after the spies came back, and how they later did go in and fight, but God wasn't with them.]

_My note:_ Why would God not be with them? Did he have something else to do at the time?

Moses' big explanation about what happened at the Amorite hills, and afterwards, sounds like a big cover-up of what really happened.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "I told them [not to fight the Amorites], but they wouldn't listen. Instead, they rejected God's commandment and went to fight. The Amorites slaughtered many of them...." [Moses continues to summarize all the major events of the last 40 years.]

[DEUTERONOMY 4]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "I have taught you the laws, as God commanded me to do. Follow those laws in Canaan. Obey them faithfully. This will prove to other nations how wise you are. When other nations hear about all these laws, they'll say, 'That nation has wise and understanding people.'

"God is with us whenever we pray. No other nation has a god who is so near to them.

"What other nation has laws and rules as fair as we have?"

_My note:_ As we have seen, Yahweh's laws are unfair all over the place, which is why so many of them have been overturned.

Also, today, there are many countries in the world, which don't think that Israel has wise and understanding people, despite all the propaganda issued by Israel. That propaganda works best in the United States, where a small group of Jews controls the mainstream media—which means they control what goes into the minds of most Americans.

Jewish propaganda certainly doesn't work well in most Muslim countries. The people in those countries know quite well that their brother and sister Muslims in Israel suffer daily from Jewish unfairness, racism and apartheid. But wait until Americans find out that thousands of American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan were injured or killed because of America's support for Israel. How long do the supporters of Israel think they can keep putting more fingers in all the cracks in all the dikes that keep the truth from rushing in? What's going to happen when the dikes break and the truth comes roaring through? Will there be another Holocaust?

One thing we know for sure: there will be no fair and honest debate in the mainstream American media about whether Jews were to blame for the first Holocaust, or whether they were to blame for the attack on the U.S. on 9/11. All we ever get on that issue from the mainstream American media is complete silence.

Sometimes, silence can be deafening, especially in "free-speech" America. The reality is, there is no free speech on many issues in America's mainstream media if the issues concern Israel, the Middle East, or the Jews who control the mainstream media. The Jews will even go to the extreme of beating up an old lady, reporter Helen Thomas, and driving her from her job because she was seen as a threat to the nation of Israel.

What was her sin?

Exercising her right of free speech by uttering a single sentence the Jews in the media didn't like.

So you can see that the Jews who control the mainstream U.S. media, and their friends at AIPAC, are the ones who say what is permissible free speech in America.

How did that happen, that a small group of Jews were able to hijack America's free-speech rights, and tell us what we can and can't say?

Also, in the above passage, you'll notice that Moses acknowledges that other nations have gods.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Be careful. Remember what you have seen. Teach these things to your children, and their children after them.

"Don't sin by making yourselves an idol or statue in any form, whether it be in the form of a man or woman, animal or bird, reptile or fish. Don't worship the sun, the moon or the stars.

"If you make idols, you won't live in Canaan very long. You'll be destroyed. God will scatter the Israelites among all the other nations. Only a few of you will remain alive there."

_My note:_ And that's what happened—but almost certainly not because the Israelites made idols.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Study the past. Study all the way back to when God created human beings. Ask from one end to the other. Has anyone ever heard of anything as great as this?

"You heard the voice of God speaking from within a fire."

"Have any other people lived after hearing such a thing? Has any other god dared to take people from another nation and make them his own, as your God did for you in Egypt? Or has any other god done the miracles our God has done?"

_My note:_ For more than 3000 years, Yahweh hasn't shown his face—because he doesn't exist. Or maybe he does exist, but someone trapped him in a bottle, and if you find the bottle, and open it, he'll come jumping out in a plume of smoke and say, "Don't look at my face. If you do, you will die!"

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "With his great strength, God brought you out of Egypt. He drove away other nations to make room for you, even though they were stronger than you. God is in heaven above and on the earth below."

_My note:_ Nice speech, but it's worth remembering that Yahweh didn't drive away other nations; the Israelites themselves had to fight to get the land they got.

[DEUTERONOMY 5]

_Torah:_ Then Moses restated the ten commandments which God had given him on Mount Sinai. He said, "God spoke from the fire and the cloud. He spoke from the darkness. He wrote the commandments on two stone tablets."

_My note:_ Why didn't Yahweh ever tell children how important it was to brush their teeth?

[DEUTERONOMY 6]

_Torah:_ Moses said, "Israelites, listen to me. The Lord is our God. The Lord is the one and only God. Love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

"You should never forget the commandments. Teach them to your children, and your children's children.

"Discuss the commandments at home, when you are traveling, when you are resting, when you are working, and when you get up in the morning. Tie them to your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and gates."

_My note:_ If you followed this advice of Moses, most people would think you're a lunatic.

There are still some fanatics who will try to get you to obey these rules, but these people typically have extreme domination complexes. It's best to stay away from them, and keep your children away from them.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't forget God once you move into Canaan.... Do what God says is right and good, and all will go well with you."

_My note:_ In other words, if you stone people to death for working on the Sabbath, or if you kill people for cursing their parents or for committing adultery, all will go well with you.

[DEUTERONOMY 7-8]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "God will bring you into the land he promised. He will drive out many people to make room for you. The nations you replace will be larger and stronger than you, but God will put these people in your power. When you defeat them, you must kill all of them."

_My note:_ Today, this would be known as mass murder and genocide, so Moses is ordering the Israelites to commit mass murder and genocide, and to commit crimes against humanity. Moses is like Pol Pot of Cambodia, or Idi Amin of Uganda, but because he has good P.R. people, you'd think he was Mr. Wonderful.

It's all about advertising. For example, hundreds of millions of people know the name "Anne Frank", the Jewish teenage girl who died in a Nazi concentration camp. Before she was captured, she and her family were in hiding for two years. The people who hid them, at great risk to themselves, were the real heroes of that story, but almost no one knows their names, because the Jews want you to remember the name of Anne Frank, the Jewish girl; they don't care if you remember the name of the people who risked their lives to protect her and her family for two years, so the names of those people are unknown to most people.

(Those who hid the Franks were Jan and Miep Gies, Victor Kugler, Johannes Kleiman, Bep Voskuijl, and Johannes Hendrik Voskuijl.)

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't show [the people you displace] any mercy, or make any peace treaties with them. Don't marry any of them. If you do, your children will serve other gods. That will make God angry, and he will destroy you."

_My note:_ There's Yahweh once again, willing to destroy the Israelites if they serve some other god. Couldn't he just fine them, or cut off their hands?

And a lot of Jewish people now marry outside their religion. Does that mean all the Jews will be destroyed because of the actions of the disobedient Jews?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Smash the altars [of the people you displace] and their sacred stones. Burn their idols. Break apart the symbols they use to worship the goddess Asherah.

"God won't let you get sick. He won't send horrible plagues against you like those that attacked the Egyptians. But he will send them to everyone who hates you."

_My note:_ Absolute nonsense. The Israelites, and later, the Jews, still got sick just like everyone else, and got plagues when others got them, and often those who hated the Jews did NOT get plagues—so Moses is talking garbage again.

One thing, though. The Jews did avoid some illnesses, because of their hygiene laws—but the Jewish lives that were saved by the hygiene laws were more than offset by the Jewish lives that were lost from other reasons.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Destroy every nation God puts in your power. Don't fear them, or feel sorry for them...."

_My note:_ Moses is telling the Jews to destroy every nation that comes under their power, and be merciless. Is it any wonder that some Israeli soldiers commit war crimes?

Also, the United States is often seen as a puppet of Israel, so when the Bible says, "Destroy every nation God puts in your power", does that mean some Jews think it's okay to destroy the United States? Because certainly all the presidents going back to Harry Truman were hugely influenced by the supporters of Israel, even if it harmed America's interests.

In addition, U.S. support of Israel has cost the United States at least four trillion dollars. That's one way to destroy another nation—bankrupt it.

Does it bother the people of Israel that Israel has cost the United States so much money? Because I'm not aware that most Jews in Israel are very concerned about costing the United States so much in money, not to mention the lives of thousands of American servicemen and women.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "God will drive out all the nations to make room for you, but he won't do it all at once. He will put their kings in your power. No one will be able to stop you. You will destroy everyone."

_My note:_ When Moses says to the Israelites, "You will destroy everyone", he may be right, and the Jews may be part of that group, "everyone".

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't long for the silver and gold that is on the statues of those you conquer. Don't take it for yourselves. If you do, it will be a trap for you. God hates it. Don't bring anything God hates into your house. If you do, you will be completely destroyed."

_My note:_ Don't take the silver and gold for yourselves? Why not?

Is it because the high priests want it?

[DEUTERONOMY 9]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Israelites, listen to me. You are now about to cross the Jordan River. The people who live there are Anakites. They are strong and tall. You will not take over their land because the things you have done are right and honest. You will take over their land because those people are wicked. It's not because you are a godly people. In fact, you are very stubborn."

_My note:_ Moses says that the Israelites are not a godly people. And the Jews today, like the Israelites, are very stubborn people, as we can see in their behavior in the Middle East, and in the United States, where all Jewish members of the media stubbornly refuse to admit that when U.N. sanctions against Iraq between 1990 and 2003 killed an estimated 500,000 Iraqi children, there was something wrong with that.

It's interesting that the Jews often fault the United States and the Catholic Church for not doing more to help Jews during the Holocaust, but when someone faults the Jews for not doing more when the U.N. and the U.S. were committing a Holocaust against hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children, the Jews ignore them.

Listen up, Jews in the American media. The sin you committed in not doing more to help the Iraqi children was far greater than anything the Catholic Church did, or failed to do, with respect to the Nazi Holocaust, because there would have been no danger whatsoever to any Jew in America if he/she had raised a ruckus about the deaths of the Iraqi children, whereas any attempt by the Catholic Church to do more to help Jews during the Nazi Holocaust contained numerous risks —so why don't you dump your holier-than-thou horseshit against the Catholic Church. As far as I can see, all the Jews at high levels in the mainstream media are co-conspirators or accessories after the fact to a mass murder, and you should all be condemned the same way Nazi leaders and judges were condemned.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Remember when I came down from Mount Sinai? I broke the two tablets God had given me. Then I lay face downward before God for forty days and forty nights, and I didn't eat or drink anything. [ _My note:_ Obvious lie.] I did this because of the sin the people committed, and I was afraid God would destroy you. But God heard me. I also got the golden calf you made and threw it into the fire, then ground it into dust, then threw the dust into the stream that flowed down the mountain."

_My note:_ According to Exodus 32:20, "Then Moses seized the golden calf and melted it, ground it up into powder, and mixed it with water. Then he made the people drink it."

Here, it says Moses threw the dust into the stream.

Is Moses trying to cover up the fact that he made the people drink the powdered gold?

[DEUTERONOMY 10]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "The heavens belong to God. He also owns the earth and everything in it. The Lord your God is the greatest God of all. He is the great God. He treats everyone the same."

_My note:_ The greatest god of all? Once again, that's admitting there are other gods. It also sounds like an American presidential campaign, where advertisements say about each candidate, "He/she will make the best president."

Yes, he's the greatest god of all. And that's what all the other people say about their gods. So, who's right? Who is the greatest god of all? A god who murders children? A god who doesn't even know how to fix a flat tire on a bicycle? A god who talks more about underwear than he talks about global warming?

Not only that, but Moses says that Yahweh treats everyone the same, and we already know for certain that Yahweh doesn't treat everyone the same. He often is biased in favor of the Israelites, which makes sense, because he's the god of the Israelites. If he was the god of the Philistines, he'd treat the Philistines better than everyone else.

Even so, Yahweh doesn't treat the Israelites very well, because he has killed tens of thousands of Israelites for the sins of just a few, and he put them out in the desert for 40 years, then didn't give them any water. When they asked for water, he gave them plagues and snakes.

What kind of a jackass god would do something like that?

Under American law, many of the things Yahweh did would be called murder, so Yahweh is a murderer of his own people, and he committed crimes against humanity, and he murdered innocent women and children in a bunch of different cities.

When you teach your children about Yahweh, do you tell them he's a murderer of children? Or do you try to pretty him up, and make him seem like a decent fellow? Would you do the same thing for a child rapist, tell your children he's a decent fellow?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "He [God] doesn't take money from people who want special favors. He protects widows and orphans. He loves foreigners, and gives them food and clothes."

_My note:_ Sure he loves foreigners, when he's not murdering them, or ordering them to be murdered, or enslaving them. And of course he doesn't take money from people who want special favors, because Yahweh doesn't need money. It's the high priests who are the greedy ones.

And why isn't Yahweh making this speech? Is he off being a cloud somewhere?

I just thought of something. Maybe I'll write a new Bible, with all kinds of lies in it—better lies than Moses came up with—and I'll find a small group of people I'll teach it to, and they can go on and teach it to others, and I'll set up the craftiest of my followers to be the high priests, but instead of tricking people to give the high priests bulls and rams and goats, the people can give them gold, which is almost certain to go up in price over the years.

I couldn't do it, though, because I don't like ripping off poor people. Moses, of course, didn't care about tricking poor people, and taking things of value from them. In that sense, Moses is just like the Catholic Church.

Think of all the poor Catholics in Central and South America, and Africa, and Asia, and other parts of the world, and contrast all those poor people with the Pope and the cardinals who are living in luxury at the Vatican.

Do you understand now how Catholicism and Judaism are just big con games? And a lot of Protestant ministers are just as big at conning people as the rabbis and the Catholic clergy. Some Protestant ministers even have their own jets.

Can you see Jesus flying around in a jet, wearing tailor-made suits?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Long ago, your ancestors went down into Egypt. Their total number was 70. Your God has made as many of you as there are stars in the sky."

_My note:_ But there are only 15 million Jews in the world today, compared to 2.2 billion Christians, even though the Christians have only been around for 2000 years, and the Jews have been around for more than 3000 years. And there are 1.6 billion Muslims, even though the Muslims have only been around for 1300 years.

Does that mean that the powers that be in the universe prefer Christians and Muslims to Jews? Or does it simply mean that the Jewish "religion" isn't very good at keeping its members alive? And if being a Jew increases the chance that you and your family are going to be slaughtered, why would people not change from Judaism to Christianity, Islam, Hinduism or Buddhism, if only to protect their children? What's more important to Jewish parents, the lives of their children, or their so-called religion? Because if they say Judaism is more important, doesn't that make them inferior parents?

On the other hand, maybe Jewish parents are just so terrified of their invisible god that they wouldn't dare disobey him, even though Jews and Christians disobey Yahweh all the time.

It seems that Jews and Christians are mighty confused about all these things.

Maybe the nice rabbis will help the Jews get rid of all the garbage that has been shoved into their brains. But then many of the rabbis would be out of a job, wouldn't they?

Actually, there's no reason the Jewish or Christian clergy will be out of a job, even if everyone agrees that Yahweh is a concoction, and that Judaism and Christianity are confidence schemes. It's still a lot cheaper to talk to a knowledgeable and compassionate Jewish or Christian clergyman than to talk to a psychiatrist, and temples and churches do many good things in this world. They can still do those good things. They just don't need to subject people to psychological mind control and a passel of lies.

[DEUTERONOMY 11]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Be faithful and obey God's commands. If you do, God will send you rain when you need rain. You'll have a full harvest of grain....

"But be careful. Don't be tempted into sin....

"Everywhere you walk will be yours. Your land will stretch from the desert to Lebanon, from the Mediterranean Sea to the Euphrates River. No one will be able to defeat you."

_My note:_ For more than 3000 years, Yahweh didn't fulfill this promise. In fact, he still hasn't fulfilled this promise. So why do the Jews still follow this god of theirs, when he can't fulfill his promises, even though he's had more than 3000 years to do so?

Perhaps the mind control aimed at the Jews is so powerful that only the smartest Jews can escape it.

[DEUTERONOMY 12]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you take the land I promised, don't ask questions about the gods the people worship. Don't worship your God the way they worship theirs. When they worship, they do wicked things that God hates. They even burn their own children as sacrifices to their gods."

_My note:_ Women in the U.S. abort nearly a million unborn children a year. That's not much different from burning children as sacrifices.

[DEUTERONOMY 13]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a prophet appears among you, or a person who has dreams to tell the future, or to tell that some miracle will happen, the thing he foresees might actually happen. Then he might say, 'Let's follow a different God.'

"Don't listen to the prophet or dreamer. God is putting you to the test. You must follow God and keep his commands.

"The prophet or dreamer must be put to death. He told you to disobey God. He told you to live the way he wants. You must kill that wicked person."

_My note:_ If people actually obeyed this rule, they would have killed the prophets Mohammed, Merlin and Nostradamus. Some would say that the Israelites did kill Jesus, who some consider a prophet, but of course the Christians say that Jesus was the son of Yahweh, which means he was the son of a crazed murderer of children, or the son of a concoction.

Not only that, but the god of the Israelites must have been more than 1000 years old when he got Mary pregnant, which you can believe if you want, but I don't believe it. I don't believe Jesus himself said he was the son of God. I think that was a lie created by the Catholic Church at the Council of Nicaea in 325 A.D.—a lie which was designed to give the Church more authority and bring in more cash and more converts, which it did.

Then the Roman Catholic Church had its people go out and slaughter people all over the place (like all over the entire Western Hemisphere, for example), but now the Church hires Popes who excel at smiling for the masses and putting forward the face of niceness and wonderfulness, and then everyone finds out that Pope Benedict XVI was complicit in letting priests who raped children continue to be priests, and letting them continue to have access to children. Beautiful.

Another thing. Did you ever notice that so many of the cardinals at the Vatican have stern, even mean faces? Why do you think they do that? To intimidate people?

Do you think Jesus had a stern, mean face? Isn't it more likely that he had a kind, understanding face?

Maybe these stern-faced cardinals are actually working for the devil, trying to intimidate adults and scare little children.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "What if your brother, son, daughter, wife or best friend gets you to worship other gods? Don't let them persuade you. Show them no mercy. Don't save them. Instead, you must kill them! Stone them, and let everyone else stone them."

_My note:_ Kill your brother, son, daughter, wife or best friend? This sounds like one of Adolph Hitler's rants. Even worse.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Then all the other Israelites will hear what happened [after you stone to death your brother, son, daughter, wife or best friend], and they will be afraid to do the same thing [get you to worship other gods]."

_My note:_ Of course, it is true that if you stone one person to death for doing something, other people will be afraid to do that thing, so maybe some people in the financial firms who messed up the American economy should be stoned to death, and then the rest of the financial people might clean up their acts.

"Don't let them persuade you. Show them no mercy. Don't save them. Instead, you must kill them! Stone them, and let everyone else stone them."

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If you hear a rumor that some Israelites have persuaded the people of their town to worship other gods, check out the rumor carefully. If it's true, kill all the people in that town, and all their animals. Burn the town and everything in it, and leave it in ruins forever...."

_My note:_ Kill all the people AND all the animals? Why kill the animals? And why kill the children? They don't choose who they worship. In fact, most adults don't choose who they worship, because most adults only worship who they've been trained to worship.

See what a bloodthirsty savage Moses is? Yet many Jews think he's wonderful.

Moses could out-Hitler Hitler, any day.

[DEUTERONOMY 14]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't cut yourselves to honor the dead. Don't shave the front of your heads to honor them.

"If you find something that's dead, don't eat it. You can give it to a foreigner to eat, or sell it to people from a different country...."

_My note:_ Don't eat it yourself, but it's okay to give it to a foreigner to eat? Nice. What does this teach Jews (and Christians) about how to treat foreigners?

[DEUTERONOMY 15]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "At the end of every seventh year, you must forgive any Israelite all that he owes you. You may collect what a foreigner owes you, but not what an Israelite owes you."

_My note:_ Most Jews tossed out this rule long ago. There's only so much of Yahweh's nonsense the Jews will put up with.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If you obey God's rules, none of you will be poor."

_My note:_ Contrary to popular belief, there are a fair number of Jews who are poor, not because they disobeyed Yahweh's rules, but for many other reasons.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "You will lend money to many nations, but you won't have to borrow from any other nations. You'll control many nations, but no nation will control you."

_My note:_ Compare this with the New Testament and Jesus, who says nothing about lending money to other nations in order to control them.

Hitler thought the attempt by some Jews to control Germany and Austria, the dishonest of the Jews in the press, the influence of Jews in the press that led to a weakening of Germany, and the involvement of Jews in sordid businesses, such as prostitution, justified killing all Jews, so there's always some risk to all Jews when some Jews try to control other nations, or when they try to exercise enormous influence in the media to the detriment of some country, or when they are involved in sordid businesses, all of which some Jews have been doing in the United States. The fact that some Catholics and Protestants also do immoral things doesn't have the same adverse consequences for all Catholics and Protestants, because ultimately, it is Catholics and Protestants in America who determine who should be punished, or exterminated, and if the proverbial shit hits the fan, the Catholics and Protestants will certainly try to divert attention from their own sins onto the sins of others, including the Jews.

The Catholics and Protestants in America did a pretty good job of exterminating the native Americans, wouldn't you say?

(The consequences for the Jews won't be so bad if the economy is healthy, but if the economy nosedives, the Jews should have plans to hightail it out of the U.S. if they want to avoid trouble.)

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If there are Israelites in need anywhere, you must help them. Lend them as much as they need."

_My note:_ And remember, don't charge them interest on the loan [Exodus 22:25; Leviticus 25:36].

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't refuse to lend to them just because the year when debts are cancelled is approaching. If you think like that, you'll treat needy people badly, and you will have sinned. Give freely to the poor and needy."

_My note:_ One of the five pillars of Islam is to give alms to the poor.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If Israelites sell themselves to you, they must serve you for six years. On the seventh year, they must be freed. When you free them, give them some animals, grain and wine...."

[DEUTERONOMY 16]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Each tribe must appoint judges and other officials for every town. They must be fair, do what is right, and treat everyone the same. They should never take money from those who want special privileges...."

_My note:_ Be fair? Do what is right? Treat everyone the same?

Modern Israel breaks these rules all the time.

[DEUTERONOMY 17]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a person living among you sins by worshiping other gods, take the person to the city gate and stone him to death. Before you can put someone to death, two or three people must be witnesses. The witnesses must throw the first stones. Then everyone else should also throw stones."

_My note:_ There was some movie or TV show where one of the characters said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", and everyone gleefully started casting stones.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Some cases people bring to court will be too hard for the officials to judge. Take those cases to a priest. Do what the priest tells you to do."

_My note:_ The simple legal system described in the Torah probably worked far better, in some respects, than the hyper-complicated one of the United States.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a person makes fun of a judge or priest, the person must be put to death. When the Israelites hear of his death, they will be afraid to ridicule a judge or priest the next time."

_My note:_ This sounds like one of those rules in the Soviet Union under Josef Stalin, where people could be put to death for the slightest of reasons.

Thus, Yahweh was also a lot like Josef Stalin. So why would people worship a god who was like Josef Stalin?

(I read, some years ago, that the Jewish people have a holiday where they dress up like rabbis or other esteemed members of the Jewish community and make fun of them. Does that attitude—that few things are so sacred that they can't be ridiculed, or at least tweaked—help to account for many Jewish successes, such as the success of Einstein, who didn't accept without question that all he had been taught about physics was true; and because he had his doubts about what was true, he went on to show that prevailing theories in physics could be upended? Does this attitude of a healthy disrespect for authority have implications for the way we should be teaching our children?)

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you enter the land God promised you, you will want to appoint yourselves a king. You must appoint an Israelite, not a foreigner. The king must not have a lot of horses for himself, or a lot of wives. If he has a lot of wives, he will be led astray. He must not make himself rich with silver and gold."

_My note:_ The king can't make himself rich with silver and gold, only the priests can.

The problem with this rule is that sometimes a foreigner will be better qualified to be king than any of the Israelites, just as there may come a time when the Jews need a messiah to save the Jews, but there will be no one who can save the Jews but a non-Jew. But what if this non-Jew who can save the Jews refuses to save the Jews unless the Jews anoint him as their messiah?

What will the Jews do then? Will they make the non-Jew their messiah, and live; or will they refuse to make the non-Jew their messiah, and die?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Once he is king, he must make himself a copy of God's laws. He must read it every day. This way, he will learn to honor God [the authors of the Torah]. It will keep him from thinking he is superior to all the other Israelites. This way, he and his descendants will rule for many generations."

_My note:_ Should Israel have a king? If so, what would qualify someone to be the king of Israel? One thing he can't have: he can't have a last name of Kong. If he did, everyone would make fun of him, and all those people would have to be put to death.

[DEUTERONOMY 18]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you enter the land God has given you, don't be like the people who live there. Don't sacrifice your children. Don't do evil magic, or use magic to explain signs in the heavens. Don't ask for advice from dead spirits. God hates those who do such evil things."

_My note:_ Apparently a lot of people back in Biblical times used magic to trick people. The Catholic Church (and many other religions, including Judaism) do the same thing today. For example, the Catholic Church tricks people into thinking that when they eat a consecrated host, they are actually eating the body and blood of Jesus Christ, including his eyes, nose, teeth, heart, lungs, testicles and toes. Yech!

The difference between a medicine man going "Ooga booga mooga sooga" and throwing some powder on a fire that makes a lot of sparks, and the Pope saying "In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritu sanctis" and making the sign of the cross, is that the Pope and the Catholic Church save money by not buying the special powder that creates all the sparks.

Something else. Is Moses saying that all astrologers should be put to death? What about people who check out their daily horoscope? Does God want all of them to be put to death?

"What sign are you?"

"I'm an Aquarius!"

"Oh, so you know your sign, do you? Stone this woman to death!"

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Someday, God will send you a prophet who is like me. He will be an Israelite. You must obey him."

_My note:_ How will he be like Moses? Will he order that anyone who has homosexual sex be put to death? Will he order Israeli troops to enter cities and kill everyone: men, women and children? Will he order someone to be killed because he worked on the Sabbath? Will he order that a son or daughter be put to death for cursing one of their parents?

If the Israelites get another prophet like Moses, maybe they should put him in a mental institution and keep him there.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "At Mount Sinai, you said you no longer wanted to hear the voice of God, or see his great fire. You were afraid you would die."

_My note:_ Nonsense. It's likely that most people would want to hear the voice of God, plus they would want to talk to him to find out why he did such and such, and why he didn't do thus and such, etc. Moses just wants to hide from the Israelites the fact that there is no god of the Israelites; that it's all just a big con game.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "God said to me [Moses], 'They made a wise request. I will send them a prophet like you. I will put my words in his mouth. He will say what I tell him to say.'"

_My note:_ So the person will be a robot, not a person who has free will?

_Torah:_ [God continued] "'The prophet will speak for me. Anyone who disobeys him will be punished. If any prophet speaks in my name without my authority, or speaks in the name of other gods, he must be killed.'"

_My note:_ Killed once again. And what if the people make a mistake, and kill a person who they think isn't a prophet, but he actually is one?

"Oh, drat, we killed the real prophet. What are we gonna do now?"

"Prop him up against this rock, and we'll keep everyone at a distance, and we'll pretend he's still alive."

"How long can we do that for?"

"I don't know. Hey, why don't we build a tent around him, and we won't let the people see him. That way, we can keep him alive for centuries."

"Good idea. Maybe we can get the people to give us a goat or a sheep every time they want to talk to him. You hide in the tent and answer people's questions with a deep voice, and I'll keep them from going into the tent."

_Torah:_ Moses said, "You can tell if a prophet speaks with God's authority this way. If what he predicts does not come true, he is not speaking in God's name. If that happens, don't fear him or what he says."

_My note:_ I predict that the earth will make at least one more revolution on its axis.

And what about the people who interpret prophets, like the people who interpret the prophecies of Nostradamus? Shouldn't a prophecy be unambiguously clear regarding what it refers to? Nostradamus was vague all over the place.

I'll be like Nostradamus. Watch.

The king from the east will raise a great army. The eagle will tear the flesh. A prince from the ancient land will rise up and strike the eagle. A moose will eat the grass. A chipmunk will hide in the wood pile. The queen will conquer the black knight. Secret words will flow in the river. A hero will be vanquished in the north.

See? It's easy.

[DEUTERONOMY 19]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Once you are established in the land God gave you, divide the area into three parts, with a city in each part that is easy to get to. Then, if you accidentally kill someone, you can obtain refuge in one of these cities.

"For example, if you are cutting wood and the head of the ax flies off and kills someone, you can get refuge in one of these three cities.

"When you get more land, establish three more cities for the same purpose.

"If a man deliberately kills another man and seeks refuge in one of these cities, the leaders of the killer's town must send for the killer and hand him over to the relative of the person who was killed. The relative will put the killer to death...."

_My note:_ As I said earlier, perhaps this should still be the law, to keep everyone's killer instincts sharp. Otherwise, if we're invaded by extraterrestrials, most people will surrender without much of a fight because they've been trained NOT to kill.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't move your neighbor's boundary line....

"If a witness brings false allegations against someone, the witness should receive the same punishment the accused person would have received. If you do this, everyone else will be afraid to bring false allegations, and no one will ever again do such a wicked thing."

_My note:_ "the witness should receive the same punishment the accused person would have received"?

Let's face it. Sometimes Moses had a better understanding of human behavior than some of the phonies who run America's justice systems.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Show no mercy for the wrongdoer. The punishment should be an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for a foot."

_My note:_ Let's see. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and members of their administrations starved hundreds of thousands of children to death, so this means that they should be starved to death.

I'd be happy if they just had the courage to confess, and try to get reparations for the families of the children who were murdered.

[DEUTERONOMY 20]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you go to war, don't be afraid if the enemy is stronger than you. God is with you."

_My note:_ There are tens of millions of people who went to war thinking that God was with them, and they never came back.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Before each battle, a priest will tell the army, 'Soldiers of Israel, listen. Today you will fight your enemies. Don't be afraid or panic. Don't let them terrify you. God is with you. He will help you win the battle.'

"Your officers will tell the army, 'If any of you has started building a house but has not lived in it, go home. Has anyone planted a vineyard but has not had time to enjoy it? Go home. Has anyone promised to marry a woman but hasn't done it? Go home and get married. Is any man afraid? If so, go home. We don't want the other men to lose hope, too.'"

_My note:_ If these were the rules today, wouldn't many people decide that instead of going to war, they might be better off getting married?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Before you attack a city, first offer its people peace. If they accept, make all the people your slaves. If they refuse, attack the city and kill all the men with your swords. You can keep the women and children, the animals, and everything else in the city.

"That's what you should do to cities that are far away. For cities in the land God gave you, kill everyone. Completely destroy those cities...."

_My note:_ Here again, Moses is telling the Israelites to commit genocide, crimes against humanity, and war crimes.

This command says that the Israelites, and by extension the Jews, should kill every non-Jew in Israel, the Palestinian territories, Lebanon, Syria, and large parts of Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Iraq—and that's certainly what some Jews would like to do.

Are these the kind of rules we should be teaching children? Are these the kind of rules all Jewish children learn? And since these are Yahweh's rules, what happens when the international rules of war conflict with Yahweh's rules. Whose rules should the soldiers of Israel follow? Whose rules should American Christians follow? Should they follow the rules of Yahweh? The rules of Jesus? The rules of the Catholic Church? The rules of the President of the United States? The rules of the United Nations? The rules of their immediate commanding officer? Or the rules of typical American mothers, who collectively have killed more people than the Nazis killed (if you assume that unborn children are people)?

[DEUTERONOMY 21]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Suppose you find someone in a field who has been killed, but no one knows who killed the person....

"If you go to war and take prisoners, and one of them is a beautiful woman, and you like her, you can marry her. Bring her home, have her shave her head, cut her fingernails, and change her clothes. Let her live in your house. Let her grieve for a month. After that, you can be her husband."

"But if you aren't happy with her, let her go where she wants. Don't sell her. Don't treat her like she's a slave.

"Suppose a man has two wives and he loves one but not the other, but both of them have given him sons. If the oldest son is the son of the wife the man doesn't love, he must nevertheless give the oldest son the full rights of an oldest son. He must give that son a double share of everything.

"If someone has a stubborn son who won't obey his parents, and won't listen to them, his parents must bring him to the town leaders and say, 'Our son refused to obey us. He wastes money and he's a drunk.'

"The men of the town must stone the son to death. All the other sons of the Israelites will hear about it and they will be afraid to disobey their parents."

_My note:_ Yeah, that will work—but any parents who would do that to their own son probably shouldn't be honored or obeyed in the first place.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a man is put to death and his body is hung on a pole, it should not remain there overnight. It must be burned the same day...."

[DEUTERONOMY 22]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If you see one of your neighbor's animals walking away, don't act like you didn't see it....

"Women must not wear men's clothes, and men must not wear women's clothes. God hates that.

"If you find a bird's nest beside the road, and the mother is sitting on her little ones or on the eggs, you can take the little ones, but not the mother."

_My note:_ Take the little ones?! Mean, mean, mean! And notice that Moses has dropped the façade that he is telling people what Yahweh wants. Now he's giving orders directly.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you build a new house, put a low wall on the edge of the roof so no one will fall off.

"Use only one type of seed in your vineyards.

"Don't let an ox and a donkey pull the same plow...."

_My note:_ Everybody already knows you shouldn't let an ox and a donkey pull the same plow.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a man marries a woman, makes love to her, then decides he doesn't like her and tells lies about her, saying she wasn't a virgin when they got married, then the woman's parents must bring evidence to the leaders of the town that she was a virgin when she got married, and that there was blood on the cloth she used on her wedding day.

"If the man tells lies about the woman, the leaders should punish the man. They must make him pay silver to the woman's father. The woman will continue to be his wife, and he can never divorce her. He was wrong to say an Israelite virgin was not a virgin.

"But if the accusation is true, then she must be stoned to death at the door of her father's house. She has done an evil thing."

_My note:_ Stone her to death? What is Moses' obsession about stoning people to death? I bet half the Jews in the world would be stoned to death under Moses' rules, and even more than half of the Christians.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a man has sex with another man's wife, they must both be put to death.

"If a man makes love to a virgin who is engaged to be married, then both the man and the woman must be stoned to death.

"If a man rapes a woman who is engaged to another man, he must be put to death."

_My note:_ This last rule seems reasonable. The problem is, it's not always easy to determine whether or not the sex was consensual.

And what do young Jewish and Protestant boys and girls make of all this sex?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a man rapes a woman who is not engaged, and someone discovers them, then the man must pay 20 ounces of silver to the woman's father, and he must marry the woman. He can never divorce her...."

_My note:_ Which means if a man wants to marry a woman, all he has to do is rape her and pay 20 ounces of silver, and they'll get married. It apparently doesn't matter what the woman wants.

"Mommy, what does 'rape' mean?"

[DEUTERONOMY 23]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "No man who is a eunuch can worship with the Israelites. No person who was born to an unmarried woman [i.e., an illegitimate child] can worship with the Israelites, and the same thing applies to all the person's descendants."

_My note:_ This last rule punishes many people for the act of a single person. Once again, not fair.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Ammonites and Moabites can't worship with the Israelites. They didn't bring the Israelites food and water when the Israelites were fleeing Egypt, and they hired Balaam to bring down a curse on the Israelites. God wouldn't listen to Balaam. God turned the curse into a blessing."

_My note:_ But in Numbers 22-24, it says that Balaam refused to curse the Israelites, so that's an inconsistency, because it sounds like (here) that Balaam DID curse the Israelites.

And why punish all the Ammonites and Moabites for the sins of some of them? That's not fair, either.

Why do the Jews have so much respect for a leader who is so unfair?

Of course, many Americans are the same way. They have great respect for America's "founding fathers". They believe these founding fathers were great men, because that's what they've been taught to think. They don't have minds of their own about the subject.

The reality is, all of America was founded on land that was stolen from others (native Americans). In many instances it was taken from the native Americans by force; other times it was taken by treaties where the native Americans didn't even know what they were signing, or which were deceptive, or which were later broken.

The founding fathers and their progeny committed genocide against an entire continent of native Americans, in the process destroying their cultures, their religions, their economies, and the land itself; and much of the wealth of America for the first 250 years of its existence was created by millions of black slaves, who were considered to be subhuman heathens.

That's the truth about the founding fathers: many of them they were thieves, slave-owners, con artists, rapists and murderers—but most Americans get upset when you tell them these truths, because Americans have been taught to believe lies, so that's what they believe. They believe the lies of religion, the lies about their country, the lies about the "founders" of their country, the lies they hear in TV and radio advertisements, and all kinds of other lies. On so many issues, they don't have minds of their own. Their minds have been taken over at a very young age by the people who issue all these lies and propaganda, and most Americans are never given the skills they need to penetrate all the lies and get to the truth—and people like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck reinforce the propaganda, and tell people how to think.

It's a lot easier to think what others tell you to think, rather than make up your mind yourself after gathering evidence from a number of different sources. Who has the time to go to a number of different sources?

Even sources which claim to be reliable, such as _The New York Times_ and CNN, aren't. Both are propaganda organizations which are often clever in their subtleties, but not so clever that their dishonesty is impenetrable.

Look at how the _Times_ and CNN ganged up on White House reporter Helen Thomas, forcing her out of her job. Or how the _Times_ published that false story by Judith Miller that helped lead to the invasion of Iraq. Or how CNN fired Middle East editor Octavia Nasr because she said something kind about a Muslim religious leader who died. Or how both organizations cover parts of the world that affect Israel, and completely ignore other parts of the world that don't. Or how the deaths of five Jewish tourists on a bus gets more coverage than the deaths of 50,000 people in most African countries. Or how both the _Times_ and CNN (and ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox News) determined that the deaths of 500,000 or more Iraqi children from U.S.-supported sanctions against Iraq was inconsequential because the children were Muslims.

The Jewish Torah, in a number of places, teaches Jews and Christians that it's okay to murder other people's children. The most important Jewish holiday, Passover, celebrates the murder of all the firstborn Egyptian males during the time of the Exodus.

If you think the U.S. should continue to murder other people's children whenever they want, Judaism or Christianity is for you.

And where was the Pope when all these murders were taking place?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't hate the Edomites, or the people of Egypt. The great grandchildren of the Edomites and the Egyptians can join the Israelites in worship.

"During war time, if a soldier has an ejaculation, he must go outside the camp until evening. After sunset, he can return."

_My note:_ "Daddy, what's an 'ejaculation'?"

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "When you go to the toilet, dig a hole outside the camp, then cover up your waste."

_My note:_ How were the Israelites doing it before this rule?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "God is in your camp. He's there to keep you safe. So, keep your camp holy.

"If slaves run away from their owners and ask you for protection, don't return them. They must be able to live in any town they want. Don't treat them badly.

"Neither a man nor a woman should become a temple prostitute. No money earned this way can be used to pay a vow...."

[DEUTERONOMY 24]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If a man gets married, but then divorces his wife because he said she did something shameful, and she remarries, and the second husband also divorces her, or perhaps he dies, the first husband can't remarry her. It would be an offense against God.

"If a man just got married, he shouldn't be drafted into the army. He is excused from duty for one year so he can stay home and make his wife happy."

_My note:_ Or maybe after he stays home with his wife for a year, he'll want to go to war, just to get away from her. And she might want him to go to war, in the hope that he won't return.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Suppose someone gives you two millstones as collateral for a loan. Give them back. The person needs the millstones to grind grain.

"If a man kidnaps another Israelite and sells that person, or treats him like a slave, he should be put to death. He is evil."

_My note:_ Joseph's brothers sold Joseph into slavery. Should they have been put to death? Were they evil?

Plus, Joseph's brothers who sold Joseph into slavery were the leaders of ten of the twelve tribes of Israel, which means that, according to Moses, the leaders of at least eight of the twelve tribes of Israel committed a crime so serious that they should have been put to death. (Rubin and Judah are arguably not guilty, because they wanted to save Joseph, and Benjamin wasn't with the other brothers when they sold Joseph into slavery.)

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If you contract a skin disease, do exactly what the priests tell you. Remember what happened to Miriam when the Israelites fled Egypt....

"Don't kill parents for the sins of their children, or children for the sins of their parents. Parents should be killed for their own sins...."

_My note:_ Yet in Exodus 20:5 and Exodus 34:7, it says that God will punish children for the sins of their fathers and grandfathers.

[DEUTERONOMY 25]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If two men disagree about something, they must take their disagreement to court. The innocent man will go free. The guilty one will be punished. If the guilty one deserves a beating, the judge must make him lie face down and have him whipped. The number of lashes should fit the crime, but the maximum number of lashes is forty. More than that would be a humiliation.

_My note:_ Was this rule used to justify whipping slaves in America?

_Torah:_ "Don't put a muzzle on your ox when you use it to separate grain from straw."

_My note:_ I never put a muzzle on my ox, under any circumstances.

According to the Christians, after Jesus died, somebody put a muzzle on God, and for the next 1900-plus years, the only thing God has said has been, "Nnnnnnnn, nnnnnnnn!", which means "Take this muzzle off me!".

If God is all-powerful, he should be able to take the muzzle off himself. (And if he was all-knowing, he would have known that someone was going to put a muzzle on him in the first place.)

Come on, God. Why don't you take off the muzzle and come out and talk to us? Help us out.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If two brothers live near each other and one of them dies without a son, then the dead man's brother must marry the widow. The first son they have will be named for the woman's first husband. That way, the dead man's family line will continue. But if the brother doesn't want to marry the widow, the widow must go to the elders at the town gate and tell them the problem.

"The elders will then send for the brother-in-law and try to convince him. If he continues to refuse, his brother's widow will go up to him before the elders, pull a sandal off one of his feet, and spit in his face, then say, 'That's what happens to a man who refuses to give his brother a descendant'.

"From then on, that man's family line will be known as the Family Of The Man Who Had His Sandal Pulled Off."

_My note:_ This rule must have been changed, because I looked it up in several phone books, and found no one with the surname, "Family Of The Man Who Had His Sandal Pulled Off".

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "If two men are fighting and the wife of one grabs the other man's genitals, cut off her hand. Show her no mercy."

_My note:_ So we see that even more than 3,000 years ago, some people behaved like they do today on "The Jerry Springer Show."

Also, is this a suitable subject for children?

"Mommy, what's 'genitals'?"

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Don't cheat when using weights and measures. God hates people who cheat.

"Remember that when you were coming out of Egypt, the Amalekites attacked you when you were exhausted, and killed those who lagged behind. So, when God has given you your land and made you safe, make sure to kill all the Amalekites. Don't forget."

_My note:_ It sounds something like, "Go down to the corner store and get some milk and bread, and while you're on your way back, kill all the people in the Johnson house. Don't forget."

"Okay, Daddy."

[DEUTERONOMY 26]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Make sure to give God his share of things....

_My note:_ In other words, give the priests their share of things.

[DEUTERONOMY 27]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "The leaders of Israel and I commanded the people to obey all our orders. We told them, 'You will cross the Jordan River and enter the land God promised you. After you do, take some large stones and put some plaster on them. Write these laws I am giving you on the plaster. Set the stones on Mt. Ebal. Build an altar there where you can worship God. Make burnt offerings and friendship offerings. Eat them and rejoice in God.'"

Then Moses said, "After you cross the Jordan River, I want six of the twelve tribes to stand on Mount Gerizim and bless the Israelites. I want the other six tribes to go to Mount Ebal and declare six curses.

"The Levites will speak to all the Israelites. The Levites will say, in a loud voice, 'May any man who makes a wooden or metal statue of a god be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'"

_My note:_ That puts the Catholics and some Protestants under God's curse.

_Torah:_ "'May anyone who disgraces his mother or father be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'"

_My note:_ That's at least 10% of the children in the U.S.

_Torah:_ "'May anyone who moves his neighbor's boundary line be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who leads a blind person in the wrong direction be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who isn't fair to foreigners, widows, or orphans be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May any man who has sexual relations with his stepmother be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who has sex with an animal be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who has sex with his sister or half-sister be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'"

_My note:_ Again, Abraham married Sarah, who was his half-sister. Yet Abraham wasn't under God's curse.

And why keep telling people not to have sex with animals? Doesn't that tempt people to go and have sex with animals?

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "'May anyone who has sex with his mother-in-law be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who kills his neighbor be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'

"'May anyone who takes money to kill someone who has done nothing wrong be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'"

_My note:_ It sounds like Moses is saying that it's okay to take money to kill someone, so long as the person has done something wrong.

_Torah:_ "'May anyone who doesn't obey these laws be under God's curse.'

"The people should say, 'Amen.'"

[DEUTERONOMY 28]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Be sure to obey God completely. If you do, God will honor you more than all the other people on earth....

"But suppose you don't do what God has commanded."

_My note:_ Here we go again (but this one is even better than the one in Leviticus).

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "Then he [God] will put curses on you. You will be cursed in the cities and the country, your baskets and bread pans will be cursed, and your children, crops and animals will be cursed. No matter where you go, you will be cursed.

"You will be cursed suddenly and completely. He will send plagues against you until he destroys you. He will send infectious diseases against you, and inflict you with fever and swelling. He'll stop the rain and send burning heat against you to destroy your crops. There will be dust storms and sand storms. You will be destroyed.

"Your enemies will defeat you in battle. You will attack them from one direction, then flee in seven directions. Others will be shocked when they see what has happened to you. Wild animals and birds will eat your dead bodies.

"You will have skin diseases and boils. You will itch, but have no relief.

"You will become insane, blind and disoriented. You will fail at everything you do. Every day you will be beaten and robbed, and you will be powerless to stop it.

"You will be engaged to be married, but another man will rape your wife. You will build a house, but never live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but never eat the grapes. Your cattle will be slaughtered, but you'll get none of the meat. Your donkey will be stolen. You'll never get it back. Your enemies will take your sheep. No one will help you.

"Your children will be given to foreigners in front of your eyes. Every day you will look in vain for them to return. Another nation will take everything you grow. You will be completely oppressed.

"God will expel you and your king from your land. You will be taken to a land you don't know. You will worship gods made of wood and stone. People will be shocked when they see you. They will ridicule you mercilessly.

"Locusts will eat your food. Worms will eat your grapes. Your olives will drop from the trees.

"Foreigners will become your leaders. They will have money to lend you, but you will have none to lend them. They will be your leaders. You will be the followers.

"You will be hungry, thirsty and naked. God will bring against you a nation whose language you don't know. Their people won't have mercy on anyone, young or old.

"Your enemies will surround you. You will suffer greatly. You will eat the dead bodies of your children.

"The most dignified man of noble birth will become so desperate that when he eats his children, he won't give any to his brother or wife who he loves, or to any of his children who are still alive.

"The most dignified woman of noble birth will act the same way. She will be so desperate for food she will eat her newborn child, and the afterbirth. She won't share them with anyone.

_My note:_ This author does have a way with words, doesn't he?

_Torah:_ "You will always be in danger. Day and night you will be afraid. You will never be sure you are safe. You will see things that will terrify you. You will offer to sell yourselves as slaves, but no one will buy you."

_My note:_ Obviously, the author(s) of this part of the Bible were very good at terrifying people (or, if you prefer, putting the fear of God into them).

[DEUTERONOMY 29]

_Torah:_.... Moses said to the Israelites, "To this day God hasn't let you understand. He hasn't given you eyes that see or ears that hear.

"For forty years, God led you through the desert. Your clothes and sandals didn't wear out. You ate no bread and drank no wine, but God provided you what you needed. Some Israelites who began worshiping other gods think they will be okay, but they won't be.

"God won't forgive such a man. All the disasters written in this book will come down upon him, and his name will be wiped from the face of the earth."

_My note:_ It seems that just the opposite is true. It seems that over the past 3,000-plus years, the Jews who worshipped Yahweh thought they would be okay, but they weren't. Among other things, they were enslaved, stoned, hung, shot, cooked, gassed, and starved to death, not to mention death from plagues.

If the Jews had spread as quickly as the Christians, there would be four billion Jews today. There's not. There's only 15,000,000 Jews, so we can see that the 3,985,000,000 Jews who might have been with us today are not. And this is not because they disobeyed Yahweh's laws. Just the opposite. They're not with us because the Jews, more often than not, did obey many of the rules in the Torah. Which means?

Which means the Jews should get themselves a better god, for the sake of their children and grandchildren, and their further descendants.

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "All of the fields will become wastelands, covered with salt and sulfur. Nothing will grow there.

"When other nations ask, 'What happened here?', they will hear, 'The people broke their covenant with God.'

"God keeps some things secret, but he has revealed his laws for us to obey."

_My note:_ And the authors of the Torah keep some secrets, too.

[DEUTERONOMY 30]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "You now have a choice between God's blessings and his curses. If you are scattered among other nations, you and your descendants will turn back to God and obey his commands. Then you will be blessed with success once again. God will bring you back to the land he promised. You'll be better off than before. You'll have even more descendants than before, and more animals and bigger harvests. Then you will love God with all your heart and all your soul."

[DEUTERONOMY 31]

_Torah:_ Moses continued, "I am now 120 years old. I can't be your leader any more. Plus, God told me I will not cross the Jordan River. But God will go ahead of you and destroy the people who are there."

_My note:_ 120 years old? Sure he is. And pretty soon, he's going to walk to the top of a mountain. At age 120.

You don't really believe that, do you?

[DEUTERONOMY 32-33]

_Torah:_ Moses told the Israelites the words of a song. It goes, in part, "Israel is a nation that doesn't have any sense. They can't understand anything. I wish they had wisdom. Then they would know what's coming. They'd know what will happen to them in the end." [Deuter 32:28-29]

_My note:_ What will happen to them in the end? Will the curtain be pulled back? Will all the truth be revealed? Or will it be worse than that?

_Torah:_ Moses said that God told him, "Go up into Mount Nebo in the Abarem Mountains. It is in Moab, across from Jericho. Look at the land of Canaan, which I will soon give to the Israelites.

"You will die on that mountain, just as Aaron your brother died on Mount Hor. Both of you disobeyed me in front of the Israelites, in the desert of Zin. You will not enter the land I am giving to your people."

_My note:_ In the last sentence above, notice how Moses said that God used the expression, "your people". Almost always before (except when the Israelites built the golden calf), God referred to the Israelites as "my people".

By "your people", does the Bible here mean "the people of Moses" instead of "the people of God"? And if so, when did the people become the people of Moses instead of the people of God? Was this just another editorial error?

Some people will say, "There are no editorial errors in the Bible. The Bible is God's sacred word."

Isn't that what the devil would want you to believe? Because if you believed it, you could own slaves, and murder children, and commit other crimes against humanity all over the place. And some people would like that.

[DEUTERONOMY 34]

_Torah:_ Moses then gave his own blessing to the Israelites. Then he climbed Mount Nebo. He saw all the land that God was going to give to the Israelites. Then he died, just as God had said. No one knows exactly where he was buried. He was 120 years old. His eyesight was still good, and he was strong, but he died. The Israelites mourned his death for 30 days.

The Israelites have never had another prophet like Moses. God spoke to him face to face.

_My note:_ "Spoke to him face to face"? But in Exodus 33:20-23, it says that God told Moses: "You can't see my face. No one can see me and stay alive. There is a place nearby where you can stand on a rock. I will cover you with my hand until I pass by. Then I'll take my hand away. You'll see my back, but you must not see my face."

Another inconsistency.

_Torah:_ No other prophet has ever done the miracles Moses did in Egypt, or the great things he did in sight of all the Israelites.

_My note:_ Notice how it talks here about the miracles Moses did, not about the miracles God did. But the fact is, no one knows for sure what Moses did. The first five books of the Bible could be a complete fabrication. But these five books contain a lot of sex and violence, and sex and violence sells. It's a universal language.

Doesn't that account for at least some of the popularity of the Bible?

_Torah:_ Joshua was Moses' successor. Because Moses had chosen him, he was filled with wisdom.

_My note:_ And filled with secrets to continue the con. And the con did continue, and the high priests made off with more and more wealth from the struggling Israelites, and every time things went bad, the high priests would demand even more wealth from the struggling Israelites. And then the Christians came along and expanded the con, until it spread throughout the earth. And the devil smiled at all the confusion and suffering he had wrought.

Or maybe there is no devil. Or maybe I'm the devil. Isn't that what some of the rabbis and the Christian clergy will want you to believe, after I exposed their con?

\---

The Bible has been jammed into the brains of more than two billion people who are alive today, and billions more in the past. It should be clear from the above analysis that our children would be much better off learning from some other book, developed by leaders from all religions, which tells everyone the rules of this house in which we live, and how we should all behave to get along with one another.

Many of today's children don't need to know about sacrificing bulls, cows, sheep, goats and pigeons. They don't need to know about sex with animals, sex with all your relatives, how to act like a prostitute, how to deceive your parents and siblings, and what kind of underwear the priest should have. They don't need to know about people going to parties who get poles stuck through them, or that Yahweh supports slavery, or that Yahweh doesn't like people with physical or mental disabilities, or that Yahweh will give people diseases or slaughter them if they make a mistake, or break a minor rule.

If you believe that the Bible is the word of the one and only God, you don't believe the Bible, because the Bible itself admits there are many gods. The God Americans pray to is Yahweh, who is a mass murderer and a genocidal butcher who routinely committed crimes against humanity. Worshipping him is bad enough, but when you teach your children to worship him, it's child abuse.

See how thoroughly you were duped?

####
