 
# Little Spirit

By DaNeo Duran

Text copyright © 2013 DaNeo Duran

All Rights Reserved

Smashwords Edition

To Beverley for always believing in me and to you for taking the time to read this story. I hope you enjoy it.

Table of Contents:

Little Spirit

Acknowledgements and legal bits

About the author

Excerpt from Johnny and The USed Wonz

## Thursday 2nd June 1983

Having freeloaded from yacht-to-yacht throughout spring and into summer 1983 Katherine didn't notice the motion or the waves slapping the hull as she stirred. Squeaking of fenders against pontoons and frapping chimes of neighbouring masts had evolved into relaxing overtures. She stirred enjoying the comfort of the bed sheets where she lay, beautiful but ever alone.

Through sleepy eyes Katherine this time recognised the ultra-modern Italian bedroom. Some days she woke amongst traditional oak splendour or any other opulent variant. She recalled her friend John asking her to boat-sit his luxury motor cruiser whilst he got richer in London.

Here in Saint Tropez holidays perpetuated and Katherine's brimming social calendar meant she'd brunch later with the girls. But for now as the clock-radio read 5:30 her beauty-sleep resumed.

* * *

In England, an hour behind France, the electrical buzz from Danny's decrepit amplifier drilled a hole through his hearing attacking the sleep that had, once again, overcome him whilst practicing guitar in bed. Hitting its power killed the drone. But before he'd rolled over a taxi's breaks squealed below his window ruining the silence. Covering his face with fraying bed clothes he shielded his eyes from the still blazing ceiling light.

* * *

The taxi pulled away onto North London's Chingford Mount Road, leaving Amy searching beneath the knickers in her handbag for keys. Looking up at the shared flat she saw Danny's beaming light. Her heart leapt and sank at the prospect of seeing him. Sighing, she faced the flaky front door, aimed the key at the lock and drunkenly marched towards it.

Inside using the woodchip walls as support she reached the landing.

Fancying a hug she cooed, 'Danny?'

No response. Pushing his door she decided against crossing the Krypton Factor assault course of washing, dumbbells, records and guitar leads to where only dark hair protruded his orange quilt. Blowing a kiss towards his outlined brawny frame she flicked his light out.

'Thanks Amy,' the bed covers murmured.

Bidding Danny goodnight she zigzagged across the threadbare living room carpet and passed the kitchen piled high with dirty pots and plates to the bathroom. As the shower warmed she furiously brushed her teeth of unfamiliar saliva before dumping cigarette-stinking jeans and T-shirt by the sink where along with the knickers from her handbag they'd stay until morning.

In the shower she scrubbed her big-boobed too-curvy body of the night's action as if to recover her lost virginity. Resembling Toyah Wilcox in the cult movie Jubilee, Amy's non-willowy physique lacked the potency to stir Danny's interest. Instead she made do with dozens of lesser men's near meaningless fumbles.

Eventually, with towel-wrapped hair, she retired to her own jumbled bedroom and wondered whether Calvin would return to the flat. She drifted to sleep intent on skipping the morning's polytechnic lectures.

* * *

On the sand at France's Bonne Terrasse beach the piercing sound of gulls searching for food had, along with the heat and chaffing sand, roused Calvin from his sleeping bag. Companionless on this the last full day of his escape he packed his rucksack before jogging along miles of shore. If Calvin's legs worked hard against the energy-sapping sand his mind worked harder wrangling over which possible future he should choose once back in England.

A balmy breeze dried him after he'd bathed in the Mediterranean. Dressed in his last clean clothes he headed to the nearby campsite for breakfast after which he used abysmal French to hire a pushbike from a man happy to look after and use his rucksack as collateral.

Now, chewing Juicy Fruit gum Calvin pedalled along Route des Plages suntan cream in pocket, passport and money in plastic pouch. Having arrived from the west the previous day he headed north not knowing where that might lead or what the day would bring.

Unfortunately Calvin's buoyancy sank after some miles. His sun parched throat stuck like thistle to cotton wool. Ditching the gum on the barren road he turned towards the sign-posted Sainte Anne. Alas he found no refreshment but soon pressed on no longer concerned. A new coast loomed; Saint Tropez beckoned.

* * *

Waking late Katherine hastened, robe slipping to the shower room floor. She sighed. Despite her improved social standing in Saint Tropez, she shared her body with no one. Here both men and women flattered her resplendent 1950s silver screen appearance. They didn't know she walked a knife-edge fastidiously avoiding controversy through the illusion of sexual apathy. But, lathering shampoo under the shower's soothing touch she felt uncharacteristically vital. Manicured fuchsia nails thrilled skin; chasing suds as she longed for embrace.

Back in the bedroom she applied makeup then stepped into a summer dress. Counting enough money for salad and just one round of drinks she snapped her purse shut, grabbed high heels and stepped onto the pontoon and into the sunshine to meet her friends.

* * *

Down in Saint Tropez Calvin headed for the marina wheeling the hired bike along Quai Suffren listening for tunes. Hearing The Police from a jostling yacht club's bar he headed in.

His aching backside celebrated the cooling relief of the white plastic furniture. Hoisting a foot over his knee he inhaled surrounding affluence. Sunlight danced around gleaming yachts. Ferraris rolled by; their toothpaste smiling drivers demonstrating how life could be with sufficient money. Apart from the waiter who seemed displeased to have someone of lesser means in his bar, Calvin suspected everyone to be as happy as they seemed.

As The Police made way for Kim Wilde he asked the waiter, 'Excuse-moi.'

'Oui,' he sneered.

'Un limonade s'il vous plait.'

'Une,' the waiter said correcting him.

'Non, deux, grand.' Calvin clenched his teeth and looked away.

Several songs rocked by before the waiter returned with two large glasses and the bill. _Nice Rolex_ , Calvin thought noticing his wrist.

Across the street a group of four ravishing women dressed to the nines headed his way. Calvin willed them to come in. They did. They commandeered the bar's only available table, beside him. But, whether imagined or not, one woman made a point of turning her back on him.

Dispirited Calvin tried ignoring them. Instead he contemplated whether riches start in the mind as the book he'd brought with him, _Think and Grow Rich_ , stated. He considered what he'd seen of Saint Tropez, an unfurled carpet of wealth, contrasting to England with its public spending cuts where Thatcher busily wrote off a generation of school leavers; as industry rinsed away.

He'd almost finished his first lemonade when his thoughts wavered sensing someone at the women's table looking over. Being subtle he kept his sights fixed on a tall mast in the marina whilst turning his head. Only in the last instant did his eyes dart settling on the most beautiful woman he could ever remember seeing.

* * *

Katherine had sauntered behind her friends who'd seizing the club's last empty table. Before she could take the remaining seat the waiter bounced out of nowhere.

'Bonjour mademoiselles, comment mai je vous server?'

His eagerness to assist weighed towards Katherine who elusively steered his attention to the girls; rejecting him sexually yet pulling him socially.

He scurried off with their order leaving the girls chattering. Katherine noticed Elaine's smile had her cheeks pushed so high she could hardly see. She suspiciously wondered why. Soon Katherine savoured the menu's cheapest salad whilst the girls tucked into lavish dishes. Finally, Elaine served the appetite arresting news that Katherine had feared for some weeks.

'Gareth's asked me to marry him.' Elaine's previously concealed left hand appeared for all to adore the princess cut diamond. The table exploded into cheers and kisses for her closest friend. But though Gareth complimented Elaine perfectly, Katherine's stomach twisted mocked by the ring's ostentatious dazzle which seemed to understand that this event could end her time in Saint Tropez.

Once the gushing subsided Katherine sat back exiting the conversation. The smile which would now appear false fell as worry rippled through her. Elaine detailed Gareth's every romantic gesture ending with his transferring the ring past her lips during a passionate kiss.

'Have you set a date?' Abigail asked.

'Not yet, but we fancy a June wedding.'

'So, this time next year?' Katherine asked her smile returning considering a twelve month reprieve.

'That's right.'

'Where will you have it?' Loretta asked.

'Here in Saint Tropez of course,' Elaine beamed.

'Really, that's wonderful.'

Katherine weighed her options. 'I'll help find a church and venue if you like. I can ask some questions, gather ideas, then you and Gareth can choose the best one.'

'Wow Katherine, that'd be brilliant.' Elaine leant close and clasping her hand whilst Katherine wondered how finding the venue would help her case; she'd still have to buy a wedding gift. She groaned inwardly and after Elaine's attention shifted she sat back letting the girls carry on their conversation.

Looking passed Abigail she noticed a lonesome man; a shaggy sun-bleached blond. Strong with fair but tanned skin like a surfer he looked a little younger than her, twenty-two perhaps. His clothes suggested he'd be someone who financially had no business in a place like this. Yet Katherine detected self-respect in his demeanour. Seeing two drinks she wondered whether some girl had stood him up. The image hooked her distracting the force of the next piece of bad fortune.

'You're all to be bridesmaids,' Elaine said.

Abigail and Loretta half stood to hug the giddy Elaine. _That confirms it_ , Katherine thought. _I'm knackered_.

'Gosh, you don't look well Katherine,' Loretta said at Katherine's delayed arrival to the huddle.

'Right, you've scarcely touched your salad,' Abigail agreed.

Running with their misunderstanding of her health Katherine complained but assured them she'd be okay and again exited the conversation to resume gazing at the mystery man. His distinctive jaw line reminded her of Jim Morrison. She continued staring and, whilst considering her now numbered days in France, failed to notice her mystery man turning towards her. Without warning the deepest blue eyes locked on hers.

Katherine tensed unable to move until he broke eye contact. When she exhaled she startled Loretta who touched her hand and said, 'Darling you're not yourself.'

'Just lightheaded,' Katherine said blushing and hoping Loretta hadn't noticed the mystery man.

'Are you up to shopping?' Abigail asked.

Never up to shopping with these girls Katherine played the ill health card they'd handed her.

'I should give shopping a miss,' she said sipping water.

'Go to ours,' Elaine said referring to the ketch her family had partially retired to. Katherine had spent many wonderful days and nights aboard that magnificent yacht.

Katherine told them she'd head back to John's cruiser leaving them to shop. She produced her purse with practiced timing allowing Elaine to beat her to paying the entire bill before saying their goodbyes, leaving Katherine in peace to regard the mystery man.

Dreading expulsion from Saint Tropez, Katherine's mind regressed to that of a lost kid in a crowd grasping at anyone who might help. Alone and yearning new company she watched the mystery man. Synchronising her body language to his she drank when he did and tapped a foot as he did to Duran Duran.

* * *

_She looked at you,_ Calvin's mind looped. The blood had evacuated his muscles when his eyes focused on the heart-stoppingly gorgeous woman. Her dazzling black eyes had registered surprise but Calvin doubted whether his paralysed face had reacted at all. His defensive subconscious had eventually caused him to drag his eyes away. Now numbly gripping his glass the sweet lemonade appeared flat; insipid as warm tap water.

Surreptitiously he chanced another look. A vision of undulating lines and flowing raven hair soaked his mind redefining female perfection. Rubbing his face he could only guess why she'd been looking at him.

Excitement redoubled when her friends left. Sensing her alone and looking over he tapped his foot to the music disguising his nervous leg shake. He closed his eyes endeavouring to fathom the situation when ...

Bump!

'Oh, I'm sorry, are you alright?'

She'd risen to leave and walked directly into him. Calvin's eyes popped.

'Err ... yeah ...' he stammered.

'Great. Drink up and meet me at the end of, Le Quai d'Estienne d'Ovres in ten minutes.'

'What?'

'Quai d'Estienne d'Ovres. Ask the waiter.'

Without a backwards glance she left. Calvin watched, hypnotised by her swaying hips.

A minute later he thought to check his watch. He'd leave at 12:13.

Time dragged. At 12:11 he stood and approaching the waiter with the bill asked, 'Ou eh key desty-endover silver play?'

The waiter looked at the money, correctly guessing he'd have to answer the question first. 'Le, Quai d'Estienne d'Ovres.'

'Oui?'

'It's ze longest pier.' He nodded towards the marina. 'Over zare.'

'Mercy,' Calvin handed him the money plus tip.

Leaving café and bicycle behind he crossed the road and, pointing to the longest pier called to a solitary fisherman, 'Key desty-endover?'

'Oui.' He pointed towards a lighthouse.

The drying coastal breeze eased the midday heat but with no sign of the femme fatale apprehension chilled Calvin's nerves. _Could this be a trap?_ Alert to danger each footstep seemed to push the lighthouse further away until, at last within twenty feet of the harbour mouth, he stopped. Though touristy families milled around he couldn't see the person he wanted.

* * *

Beyond the meeting point, jagged rocks led to the marina's water. Clambering over them Katherine had settled out of sight; safe from anyone that might have recognised her.

Having succumbed to primal instinct and 'accidentally' bumping into the mystery man she'd waited but, with no watch could only gauge time against the marina's passing boats. Her rational mind warned that the mystery man hadn't agreed to follow. _Can't do anything about that now,_ she'd thought, mentally punishing herself as her thoughts jibed returning to ponder the effects of Elaine's engagement.

Another trawler bobbed by and Katherine called it quits. Standing up she looked and there, before her, the man she'd given up on wandered lost, gazing left and right.

He spotted her and stepped around the wall's ledges to greet her.

Katherine smiled. 'Thanks for meeting me. I wasn't sure you'd come.'

'I'm staggered you asked.'

'Well, I wondered who you were.'

'Calvin,' he said extended his hand.

'Katherine,' she said taking it. 'Pleasure meeting you.'

His eyebrows rose, 'Really?'

'Yeah. Thought you might have been stood-up back there in the yacht club's café. Actually I was starting to think you'd stood me up.' Katherine smiled seeing his eyebrows rising higher. 'Bet this seems pretty weird huh?'

He paused, 'Yeah.'

She laughed and said, 'Don't worry you're in safe hands. I thought this'd be more interesting than shopping with the girls.'

Sitting together on sun baked concrete Calvin asked, 'You chose me over shopping? And by interesting d'you mean not rich?'

'You're different, certainly.'

Calvin nodded. 'You make a habit of this?'

'Picking guys up in a cafés?'

'Yeah.'

'No, never.' Seeing Calvin untighten she relaxed straightening her dress but watching his roaming eyes. 'It wasn't that sort of pickup. You're cute and I acted out of character but we're just talking.'

She saw him agree. She'd learned how to put most men down firmly without offence.

Leading with questions she learned of Calvin's week-long travel, that he played in a rock band called 10,000 Faces in London though his family came from Coventry and, as of the previous week, had a polytechnic degree.

'So, back to England tomorrow. What then?' she asked.

'Either follow my heart but break my dad's by retuning to London and making a go of the band or drag myself back to Coventry in favour of security and a pacified father.'

'You've got to do what you want not what your dad wants.' Katherine riled inwardly at the thought of her own father.

'Rather do the band; become millionaires, live like this.'

Katherine noted Calvin's voice resonating as they focused on the next cruiser motoring by.

'But?'

'My dad's no fool. He makes a good point. Bands scarcely succeed. And with unemployment as it is I should utilise the degree.'

'Your band any good?'

'Drummer's the weak link. Brian Collins, no relation to Phil.'

'Too bad. Who sings?'

'Me and my mate Danny.'

'You've got a good front man look.'

'Thanks,' Calvin said giving her his biggest smile. 'Neither of us are great singers. We're better harmonising than soloing.'

'That's what they say about Simon and Garfunkel.'

'Exactly, yet we're more like The Police.'

'Ooh, I love The Police,' Katherine said. 'D'you do your own songs?'

'Yeah, we've got loads.'

'How's the chemistry – d'you all get along?'

Calvin shook his head. 'Me and Danny get on great but the drummer's not with us socially either.'

'Sounds like you need a new one.'

'They're hard to come by, plus he's got a car.'

Katherine listened whilst Calvin told her about 10,000 Faces' gigs. The more he talked the less worrisome her own life became until he asked her, 'So, how d'you come to be in France?'

Not ready to answer the question honestly she looked across the bay before saying, 'I'd normally go and talk to someone else now; avoid answering questions.'

Appearing un-phased Calvin faced seaward. 'That's a shame. I like talking to you. Anyone would.'

'Well, maybe on this occasion I don't want to talk to anyone else.'

'Then you're stuck with me.'

In the silence that followed Calvin attempted to comprehend the situation. Sneakily spying Katherine's ankles he'd estimated her high heels to be four inches but guessed she'd still stand three inches shorter than him - less tall than she seemed but in a far higher league. Charmed by her well-spoken yet unrecognisable accent Calvin buzzed. She asked questions, he answered them. He asked questions, she swerved them.

Time no longer dragged. It raced under the Mediterranean sun as they chatted about everything except her.

'You got a girlfriend?' she asked.

'Nope. You?'

'Not even a boyfriend.'

_Don't even think it,_ Calvin thought before suggesting they head into town. Evidently she didn't want to be seen with him.

'Thought you didn't have a fella.'

'I don't, and I can't. It's an unusual situation.' She smiled but it didn't reach her night-sky-dark eyes.

When Katherine's reticence broke she said, 'I'll cook.'

Calvin listened agog whilst she proposed bringing a motor cruiser to the harbour mouth.

'You can swim to it.'

'That's insane,' Calvin said unsettled by her determination to keep their encounter private. But, enjoying her company too much he nevertheless agreed.

'See how quickly the rocks shelve?' Katherine said pointing off the quay. 'I'll get so close you'll make it in five strokes.'

'Okay but I can't stay long. I've to get back with the hired bike.'

'Don't worry you'll be back in good time,' she said insisting he wait. 'I'll be as quick as possible.'

* * *

_My god what am I doing?_ Katherine thought. Impeded by the day's choice of shoes she strode falteringly towards Capitainerie du Port and John's berthed yacht. _Would Calvin have the patience to hang round?_ _Leaving might indicate his good sense_.

Reaching the wooden pontoons she kicked her shoes off and raced for John's yacht. Once aboard she started the engine leaving it to warm whist she freshened up below deck.

Back outside she focused her nerves before employing her elementary boat-handling skills. Cruiser un-tethered she reversed between two neighbouring yachts fingering the throttle and training the bow at the harbour's entrance.

* * *

_How long does it take to get a boat?_ Calvin wondered as the time on his thankfully waterproof Casio resumed crawling. He waited, scrutinising each passing vessel.

Two minutes before 5pm a shimmering white cruiser appeared. Though sleek and fast looking its speed could have been dead stop. Willing it to be Katherine at the wheel, he didn't risk waving until moments later she did. Relieved he waved back. Katherine's face beamed as he eagerly stepped over rocks towards the water.

'Come on,' Katherine called from the wheel where the boat now idled. Calvin threw a final thumbs up as water flooded his beat-up Converse boots. Biting plastic wrapped passport and money he eased into the water; the contrasting temperature took his breath away as Katherine indicated him towards the stern.

Aboard the yacht Katherine hopped with embarrassed excitement as, looking more like a Retriever than Jim Morrison, her new friend approached.

Calvin's muscles loosened once acclimatised. Within a few powerful strokes he arrived to where Katherine's pretty feet awaited. She offered a hand but he declined heaving himself aboard.

'Are you alright?' she giggled passing him a towel.

Taking money pouch from his mouth he said, 'Just what I needed.'

'We can't hang around. Come to the flybridge; we'll get you sorted in a minute.'

Calvin dripped his way after her. She took the wheel and put-putted the cruiser forward whilst carefully looking out for other boats.

'We're passed swimmers and windsurfers now. We'll give it a burn; warm the engine properly then find somewhere to anchor.'

'Okay, Captain.'

'Ready?' She smiled and opened the throttle. Behind them the engine roared with shocking might grateful to be free. The horizon vanished as the bow rose obscuring all view.

'Hold tight,' Katherine shouted above engine noise and shishing sea. With continued acceleration the boat planed and the view returned. They rocketed across the water; Katherine's hair and dress rippling in the headwind.

'Whoaaaaarh,' Calvin yelled as the cruiser leapt a wave.

'Having fun baby?'

'Out of this world.'

Katherine pulled the boat into a left arc and then a right, slicing a foamy 'S' in the sea before de-throttling.

'Your turn,' she said.

'What?'

'Take the wheel.'

'You sure?'

She ushered him to the controls. 'The sea's empty. Keep her straight. Press the throttle – steadily.'

Under her instruction the engine growled anew and up came the bow. Gaining confidence he pressed throttle further. The engine roared as it had done for her.

After rounding the headland Katherine said, 'That'll do it.' Taking the wheel she motored and stopped close to shore.

Calvin looked over the side. 'Unbelievable you can see straight to the bottom.'

With anchor lowered Katherine joined him. 'Not even the Lake District has water that clear.'

'It's like there's no water at all,' he said before self-consciously running his fingers through his partially soaked hair.

'Shower?' Katherine asked.

Leaving his boots outside Calvin trampled in sodden clothes behind Katherine past the yacht's show-home newness and exquisite velvet furnishings.

Following a thorough soaping Calvin rinsed his clothes before tying the towel round his waist. He and Danny took fitness almost as seriously as song writing sure that muscle bulk had contributed to The Police's success. Still none the wiser as to Katherine's intentions, Calvin determined he'd look his best. Rapid press-ups and sit-ups preceded a series of tensing of upper body muscles.

'I'll hang these out to dry,' he said emerging with balled clothes and bulging veins.

'Okay,' Katherine said awkwardly when she turned from preparing dinner. Calvin smiled having caught her give him the once over.

On the motionless deck he draped his clothes over the side rail and perched his boots on the edge where air could circulate.

Below deck Katherine concentrated on slicing plum tomatoes and kicked herself for checking Calvin out so blatantly. He intrigued her; she wondered why she found him so different from other guys.

With salmon steaks in the oven she opened a bottle. 'Wine?' she asked as he appeared by her side still dressed in his towel.

'I'd prefer beer if you've got one.'

'Beer's in the fridge.'

* * *

Danny enjoyed a relaxing Thursday playing guitar through his whinging amplifier. The pub, where he worked, had given him the day off. Tomorrow he'd start day shifts. The new longer working hours meant he'd save more money plus free up his nights to gig with 10,000 Faces should Calvin return.

By tea time, having heard little of Amy, Danny figured he should check. At her door he rattled a two handed rhythm.

'You alive?'

'Just about, come in,' Amy said from inside.

Danny shoved the door past discarded clothes and found her sitting in her single bed surrounded by books. She opened her arms for a hug. Danny knelt against her mattress and obliged her.

'What happened to your hair?' he laughed.

'Oh, I slept in a towel.'

'It's stuck to your face.' He swept aside the hair still lacking style since her skinhead days eighteen months previous.

'I'm about to do beans on toast, you fancy?'

In the kitchen Danny approached the sink's heaped dishes and rinsing a suitable pan had food ready for two by the time Amy slumped on the couch wearing grey T-shirt and tracksuit bottoms with comfy socks.

* * *

On deck Calvin savoured all that Katherine had cooked – even the green beans.

When she refused his offer to wash up he remained on deck admiring the setting sun. Happiness washed through him. Energy celebrated from his chest through his limbs as he considered the weather, yacht, scenery and, most importantly, Katherine. Only the time disappearing with the daylight sullied the moment.

At the sink wearing Marigolds, Katherine also noticing time passing felt as sad as the soon to be purged dishwater. She resolved to motor Calvin back soon and deal with the consequences should anyone see them together. Calvin's appeal grew. To her he seemed different from the jealous boys she'd grown up with and the controlling guys in Saint Tropez from whom she remained detached. He seemed, normal, someone she could actually be comfortable with.

She had to let him go but surely not yet. Pouring more wine and cracking another beer she headed outside and said, 'You okay?'

'Wonderful,' he said taking the bottle and then her hand helping her to deck.

'Hang on,' she said and disappeared below. She returned a moment later with John's guitar. 'Gizz a tune rock star.'

Bemused Calvin accepted the guitar. Katherine watched him look it over as she would a computer's innards – or like someone who'd lied about being able to play guitar.

'I can't play this,' he said.

Katherine's jaw dropped. 'I'm sorry.' Annoyance surfaced. 'You said—'

'Just kidding. There's no plectrum.' He burst into cheeky smile.

'Ooh, you had me worried there.' Katherine stole the guitar back and shook it. The body rattled. 'Hear that? Plectrum. I had a go last night but dropped it inside. I couldn't get it back.'

Calvin took the guitar and holding it above his head gave two jolts jumping the plectrum onto and through the strings. He caught it as it passed his chest. Then resting the guitar on his knee he plucked each string and adjusted the tuning. Sitting a conservative distance from Katherine he rested his arms on the guitar and looked across the water and fading light. His glance retuned to Katherine, via his watch.

'Katherine, I have all the time in the world for this, being here with you. But if I'm to get back before 10pm I'm going to have to leave right now.'

'I know. I'll motor you in.' But she didn't move. 'Calvin?' He didn't answer. Looking at her knees she asked him, 'What would happen if you didn't get back on time?'

He took a deep breath. 'It's not just about handing the bike back. I need my rucksack and sleeping bag.'

'So if I take you back now, you'll sleep on the beach again?'

'I guess.'

'Sounds rough.'

'It's a nice night. Plus us Northerners are made of tough stuff.'

'Coventry isn't the North.'

'It's north of London.'

Katherine watched him watching her. 'We're just talking remember?'

'Of course,' Calvin said relaxing his grip of the guitar.

'Surely it'd be nicer to stay here. I could motor you back first thing so you'd get the bike back at start of business tomorrow.'

Calvin's expression grew into one of surprise then happiness. Then he looked thoughtful.

Interrupting his thinking Katherine said, 'I mean there're plenty of beds here and ... well ... you haven't sung yet.'

'Are you sure about this?'

'You asked me if I was sure about you taking the wheel. We didn't sink.'

'True. The man at the cycle hire shop isn't going to like this.'

But, looking to shore he knew he could handle whatever tomorrow brought. His mind settled on perpetuating a night too perfect to end this soon. 'Okay you're right. I don't want to cycle for ages just to wake up with in a bag full of sand.'

'So you'll stay?'

'Thanks Katherine, that'd be great.'

'Look, if you don't want to sing—'

Too late Calvin began strumming chords before nervousness got the better of him. 'Tell me some likes and dislikes,' he asked finding some sort of groove.

'I don't know,' Katherine said. 'I like this; luxury yachts in Saint Tropez, the glamour, the wealth.'

'Great.' Stamping his foot he chugged basic chords as his mind searched for words. He dived in singing:

My name is Kath-ren, I laugh now and then,

I'm a good-looking hen, but I'm really shallow ...

'Oi, cheeky.' Katherine slapped his knee.

'Don't interrupt,' Calvin mock scolded whilst keeping the riff going:

Don't talk about cheap, I don't wanna lose sleep,

Don't be getting deep, cos I'm really shallow,

Katherine looked flabbergast as he moved to new guitar chords.

I'm really shallow, I only like what's posh,

My thinking is narrow, I'm loving loads of dosh,

'I don't like this song Calvin,' Katherine said above the volume of the original riff he'd returned to. Calvin played an E-minor chord to finish.

'Too harsh; didn't it describe you?'

Katherine pouted full lips then smiled. 'It's not too late to take you ashore. Ah, who am I kidding, you nailed it – had me to a tee.'

* * *

Danny appreciated that anyone other than Amy would have been irritated by his constant guitar twiddling. But even he couldn't help but be surprised when, after she'd added the bean-juiced plates to the heap in the sink, she brought his acoustic guitar to him.

'Any requests?' he asked as she lay back on the sofa in front of the black and white TV.

'Yeah, _Magic Words_.'

'Good choice.'

Danny gave Calvin credit for the lyric's simplistic brilliance that first identified listeners' fears before awakening their untapped strength.

Even living room performances invigorated Danny. Now standing with eyes closed his fingers revised the chords. He smiled when their rhapsody permeated him despite the song's sad beginning.

* * *

Feigning how impressed she'd been with Calvin's off-the-cuff song Katherine requested a proper one. Calvin looked from the darkening western sky whilst considering the guarded lady and the secrets stirring within her.

' _Magic Words_ ,' he said following Katherine's gaze eastward and towards the deepest midnight blue sky peppered with white stars. Gripped by the familiar attack of nerves his fingers stumbled into the frets.

'It won't be right without Danny's input,' he said unaware of Danny's performance many horizons away. Screwing his eyes, his mind sought the verse lyrics. The first word appeared on trembling breath a moment before his voice filled the air blending with the guitar's Bb-sus-4 chord. Having struck his note accurately the natural rhyme scheme served the flow of words line by line. Singing to the moon fear dispelled. He afforded sideways glances to Katherine, though he averted his eyes at the Middle-8 anticipating the word, _love_.

At the last verse he faced her singing how he could feel her _beating heart burning red_ with the secrets she kept inside before inviting her to join in the repeat chorus.

Afterwards delighted with his performance he relaxed. Unable to help grinning he asked, 'Was that any better?'

* * *

Sitting on the sofa Amy had lost herself in Danny's green eyes as he filled the lounge with sound. The sensitivity of his voice wrapped round her like a lover's arms.

'Incredible,' Amy said clapping once he'd finished.

'Thank you. You're a joy to sing to.'

'Calvin has to come back. You two have something fantastic I just know it.'

They talked about success and record deals. Her certainty that Danny and Calvin could and should make it sparked a belief that she'd do anything to help them.

* * *

When Calvin's last chord had faded Katherine tried to disguise that his song had taken her breath away. Her voice came as a whisper. 'How did you know?'

'What, to sing that song?'

'Yeah.'

'It just seemed right,' Calvin said.

'It's wonderful.' She watched him put the guitar down and, looking at the face she'd only known half a day, sensed something in his smile both familiar and new; like she'd always know him yet he didn't remind her of anyone from her past until she looked beyond him to the worn clothes and tatty Converse boots airing by the edge of the deck. Trusting her instincts she said, 'I'm ready to talk about me now – if you'd like to hear.'

Calvin nodded. 'Okay.'

Realising any shared secrets would vanish far from Saint Tropez with Calvin the next day she steeled herself to reveal all. Straight backed she looked at her knees.

'I'm in such a state,' she said and from the corner of her eye she saw him nodding. 'Phewf, I've never even admitted that little before.'

She explained that she'd been raised on a friendless council estate in West Cumbria with a hateful father, two spiteful sisters and a mother powerless to help any of it. Katherine hadn't expected favours when in March she'd escaped to Cannes with suitcase and savings but no place to stay.

'Hang on, your father hates you?'

'Loves my sisters, hates me.'

'Why your sisters but not you?'

'I've given up wondering.'

'Are they good-looking too?'

Katherine looked away then said, 'No, they take after him. I've inherited his dark colours but have my mum's features.

'So you know you're beautiful?'

She ignored his teasing expression. 'People are as beautiful as they make up their minds to be.'

'Really?'

'To an extent. Can we come back to that?'

'Of course. Tell me about Cannes.'

Katherine explained she'd been surprised and flattered when invited aboard a catamaran.

'I met the sweetest gay guys in a bar. They had ten days of holiday left and I spent every night with them sailing port to port and meeting loads of other people.'

'I couldn't fancy being cooped up with gay men.'

'Not if you're a straight man but for me it was great. I had friends for the first time in ten years.'

'Did you tell them where you were from?'

'I was honest with them but nobody else we met learned of my origins. It was a kind of joke. When we met other people they'd call me princess, like I was _Daddy's little rich girl._ No one challenged it one way, or another.'

'I'm not surprised,' Calvin said. 'What you're telling me about Cumbria is harder to accept.'

'They're worlds apart. I'd never experienced such kind attention in Cumbria. By the time the catamaran crew's holiday ended there were people wanting me to stay with them. I was fed and even had clothes bought for me.'

'Hmm, seems too good to be true,' Calvin said suspiciously.

Guessing the direction of his thoughts Katherine said, 'I told you earlier romance is out of the question. Most of the kindnesses have come from women anyway.'

'Okay, I'll take your word for it.' He gestured her to carry on.

'I know it's weird,' she said wondering how to explain. 'Okay. My mum is the most beautiful woman you could hope to meet. But you'd never know.'

'That's a shame. Why?'

'She shrouds her beauty. She reckons it causes trouble.'

'Really?' Calvin shook his head.

'You think that's strange but until I arrived here I pretty much believed her.'

Katherine explained that since puberty girls had liked her less and less. They'd been jealous and protective of their boyfriends. 'I'd get told off because my sisters' boyfriends ignored them and pestered me.'

'What about your boyfriends?'

'Waste of time. They were insecure and would fight over me, then blame me.'

Calvin guffawed but Katherine knew he'd not really found her situation humorous.

'So how come you're in a state out here? Sounds like you've got it made.'

'The problem is I've let these people think I'm someone I'm not. I've slept on so many yachts they've not noticed that I don't have one myself. They probably think my folks'll sail in one day aboard something massively impressive.'

'It still seems odd nothing's come up to give the game away.'

'It's because everyone knows someone else who knows me so I seem genuine.'

'So, what d'you do when it's someone's birthday?'

'I miss it or turn up late. There're so many presents nobody knows I've not brought one. At least, that's what I did but these people are proper friends now. I love these people.'

'So you'll have to buy presents you can't afford.'

'Now you're getting it. And now Elaine's getting married I'm super cornered. I can't just turn up late; not this time. And the worst thing is she's asked me to be bridesmaid. I can't do it.'

'I see why you picked me over shopping,' Calvin said still without humour.

'I can't keep up with them.'

Not knowing what to think Calvin sipped his beer. He guessed Katherine's unrecognisable accent must be Cumbrian. His mind went into solutions mode but came back with nothing. He said, 'And yet somehow you've got a boat to yourself?'

'Crazy I know. John's in London on business. You'd probably get on he's a nice guy.'

'If he doesn't mind me drinking his beer,' he said lifting his bottle.

'He's too generous for that.'

Calvin had listened, and Katherine relaxed more than she'd done in weeks. In the breezeless heat the shore's incidental voices and the resting sea both soothed and stirred new feelings towards her guest. She noted the way his arm rested on the back of the seat and thought if she stretched her arm their fingers would touch. Looking at his face they shared the kind of moment that makes hearts beat faster; something Katherine hadn't experienced in ages.

As her obstinacy to keep things platonic subsided she asked, 'Do you choose to be beautiful?'

'Well, not so much to land the trouble you have, assuming your mother's philosophy's correct. But, you could do worse.'

Katherine giggled but fell silent wrangling with her demons before telling him if he saw himself through her eyes he'd know his beauty. Scarcely able to believe her mouth's betrayal she swooned wondering how Calvin would handle the compliment that contradicted all she'd led him to understand about herself.

After a while he said, 'If someone like you wanted me I wouldn't know where to start.'

'What do you mean?'

He thought for a moment. 'Like Christmas morning. All those presents waiting to be opened. Which d'you open first?'

'Each one a thrill.'

'Every inch of you would be thrilling.'

Reaching towards Calvin's right hand she said, 'Maybe I'd help direct you.'

Calvin only stared.

Emotionally beyond the point of no return Katherine melted. As finger tips connected pleasure rippled throughout. Her eyes closed. Every cell enraptured in sensations she'd almost forgotten. When her eyes opened she knew she would be kissed.

Calvin whispered, 'Are you sure?'

'You didn't sink the boat.'

Calvin didn't need telling twice. They kissed. With hands all over each other he found Katherine's body felt as good as she looked. Her dress vanished as quickly as the towel around his waist. As their spirits entwined their individualities lost relevance. In carnal heaven movement followed movement, position followed position until time lost relevance; minutes or years might have passed.

Gazing up at Katherine and beyond, the stars and eternity magnified and magnified again until finally Calvin exploded into, with and for her in perfectly blended harmony with her ecstatic hollering.

She collapsed on him. Her eyes refocused as did his.

'My God,' she said between kisses. 'What a night. That was sensational.'

Through waves of bliss Calvin murmured, 'Astonishing.'

He didn't know she'd never felt so comfortable with a lover. When she told him she'd waited all her life for someone like him, Calvin fell in love.

Katherine knew she shouldn't have said that as she came down from the stratosphere with the falling temperature of her skin. Her fingers resting against his cheekbone her thumb outlined his lips. She could have enjoyed the togetherness forever. Alas their cooling bodies and now thundering sound of a speeding cruiser bound for neighbouring Port Grimaud ended their reverie.

Looking out they saw the ship carving a titanic bow wave. Turning towards each other they kissed.

'Ready for the wave?' she said. Seconds later they held each other as John's yacht pitched and yawed. Watching along the deck Calvin's airing T-shirt flapped and ...

'Oh no!' Katherine said.

'What?'

'Boot overboard.'

Grabbing his towel and running forward Calvin found only one remaining shoe. Looking over the rail he saw blackness instead of crystal waters. Stating the obvious he said, 'It sank,' as his mind swapped bliss for frustration.

Katherine searched the waves too. 'We'll look again when it's light. There's no tide so it shouldn't move.'

Calvin knew diving in now would be pointless. When he turned and saw Katherine full length, naked and smiling he forgot about his lost shoe.

She led the way to the shower where they soaped, rinsed and caressed each other. For Katherine thoughts of contraception grew as they travelled from the back to the front of her mind. Washing one foot at a time Katherine hopped on the spot, like that would make a difference.

Trying not to worry she took Calvin to bed where they talked and cuddled until finally Calvin drifted into restful slumber.

Suspended between sleep and lucidity Katherine's mind refused to quieten. Yes it had been good to share her problems but that didn't solve them. Soon she'd have to look for a chapel and reception for Elaine's wedding and that would mean a booking fee.

Her mind wandered back to the present. Visualising dates and pressing a hand to her stomach she realised how stupid she'd been with Calvin. Images of unwelcome sperm meeting gullible ova tortured her until a previously irrelevant memory blossomed. Turning to the sleeping babe beside her she kissed his cheek having recalled Loretta dating a pharmaceutical rep. After a condom had split during their passion he'd issued the very drug he'd been promoting. Because the new drug required promotion the rep donated a stash for Loretta to give to friends. Until now Katherine assumed she'd never need it. In the shower room she rifled through her wash bag and soon held _the morning after pill_ and swigged it down with a silent prayer.

## Friday 03rd June 1983

In the comfiest bed, Calvin woke with the rising sun knowing something amazing had happened. Images of the previous night materialised ousting sleep. He rolled over and seeing Katherine kissed her shoulder. The touch of her skin on his lips confirmed the reality. Rubbing his face he hoped she'd keep in touch after he returned to England.

Katherine woke knowing something terrible had happened. The realisation that her Saint Tropez bubble had most likely burst hooked her like Mohammed Ali. Turning over she saw Calvin smiling. She didn't know why but the site of him enraged her. She turned her back and clenched her teeth. Her blood iced as he put his face next to hers and asked if she'd like breakfast.

'Just a cup of tea,' she said wishing he'd get the hell away.

In the galley Calvin prepared tea and toast. Katherine's quiet aggression had struck his chest dragging his posture. Straightening, his brain scoured for answers.

'I said just tea,' she snapped ignoring the offered toast. Looking anywhere but him she told him to get dressed so she could motor him back.

Calvin's ribs gripped tighter. Leaving the bedroom with the toast he'd hoped to share he glimpsed his anguish reflected in the shower room mirror. Nothing he tried could relax his twisted eyebrows. Giving up he sat alone dry mouthed forcing down the now sawdust-like toast.

Katherine appeared from the bedroom in yesterday's summer frock. 'You're not dressed let's go.'

'Hang on a minute. Please?'

'What for?'

'Hang on alright.' Anger flashed like a light switching on and back off. He headed towards deck rage now bubbling low down.

Dressing in dried shorts from the boat-rail he peered over the side and, in an anger confusing moment saw, through glassy sea, his shoe resting on the seabed. He climbed onto the yacht's roof.

'What are you doing?' Katherine shrieked having followed him out.

Without responding Calvin dived, clearing the rail, into lush cooling water. Once engulfed, the chill dissolved his rage. Densely weighted he harpooned towards the sand. With boot retrieved he marvelled at the floating castle above him before kicking towards it.

Katherine despised the pain that superseded her every romantic experience. Watching Calvin dive like Tarzan made her feel like a miserable Jane. The sunshine couldn't help the overwhelming raincloud within. Her true self fought reasoning that Calvin didn't ask to stay the night, didn't make the first physical gesture and hadn't even been on top. _That was you straddling him like Barry Sheene's motorbike,_ she thought But she wanted him gone and yet pitying him she met him at the stern.

Surfacing, Calvin faced painted toes. Katherine's hand offered assistance but her face showed only irritation. She gestured hurrying him up. With only his life to lose he threw his boot aboard and took her hand but yanked hard down. Above him Katherine toppled into an unceremonious dive and crashed into the water behind him.

Calvin swam making to climb aboard but Katherine grappled his neck and thumped at his shoulders. Turning round he tried to push her away but she wrapped her legs round him and pulled at his hair.

'Stop it!' he yelled. She stopped; then released him.

Calvin climbed aboard. 'Are you going to be nice?' he asked watching Katherine tread water dress billowing.

She nodded and swam towards the hand he now offered. She grabbed and tried to pull him as he'd done her. But, holding the rail he stood fast.

'Are you going to be nice?'

Again she nodded taking his hand. 'Okay, on three. One, two, three.' He hauled and Katherine launched like a dolphin her feet touching down next to where he stood.

Her dress plastered every phenomenal curve. Agog Calvin stepped back as Katherine scooped up the towel and walked through the cockpit.

Calvin followed and snatched her arm spinning her into him like a Salsa dancer. Clutching a fist of hair he held her body against his feeling her panting.

His eyes penetrated hers licentiously. Immobilised but without distress her floundering lust showed signs of recovery fighting vainly but losing to unexplainable despair.

'It's no good,' she said. 'Let me go.' Released she put her arms around him unable to feel how sorry she knew she must be. She found it in her to tell him she hoped he'd follow his heart when he got back to England. Stepping towards the cabin she paused and figuring what the hell, bent down and chucked his sopping boot back overboard.

Calvin dived, launching from the side of the cockpit almost catching the boot mid-air. He re-emerged boot in hand smiling. He'd seen hope glinting behind her belligerence.

Minutes later below deck he made his appeal, suggesting Katherine come back with him.

'Why would I do that?' Now wrapped in a bathrobe she scathed storming for the flybridge. 'Didn't you hear me last night? I hate England I never want to go back.'

Weighing anchor Katherine angrily motored for the marina, presuming Calvin to be sulking below deck.

Once berthed she destroyed Calvin's last-ditch attempt to give his phone number to her. She watched the ruined handsome boy leave. He didn't look back.

Running for the yacht's master suite her raincloud burst. Tears flooded. Crawling into bed she surrendered to the despair and confusion.

* * *

Calvin trudged along the pontoon; every second step leaving squelching footprints. Given Katherine's absolute desire never to see him again the glimmer of hope he'd sensed when holding her earlier harried him like an evil joke of fate.

Even at that early hour Saint Tropez smacked of wealth – the men all rich and confident. In finding the hired bicycle untouched he realised how absurd he'd been imagining he could offer enough to sway someone like Katherine from such a place.

Her extraordinary beauty and spirit consumed his dejected mind as he pedalled from wealth towards his own meagre future. All the women he'd known and been attracted to paled replaced by a new definition of femininity. His heart tore at having been rejected. He had been loved the previous night.

As the road stretched leading to certain confrontation with the bicycle hire man Calvin wondered whether he would recover from the pain of never seeing her again.

## Sunday 12th June 1983

A week and a half after leaving Saint Tropez, Calvin's wounded heart ached in ways he believed only Rock 'n' Roll could alleviate. Certain of passing his degree his folks had rewarded him with a Musicman Stingray; just the bass guitar for rock superstardom. He'd purchased the second-hand gem the moment he'd returned to Coventry and before telling either parent of his decision to follow his musical passion in London.

In Saint Tropez the bicycle hire man hadn't been a problem. The only confrontational situations Calvin backed down from involved his father who'd grind him down, not with fury or violent threats, but with stone-cold reasoning. He'd anticipated countering his dad's arguments with nothing more than his desire to return to London. But, in a unique episode, Calvin's dad had exploded into rage.

Following the shock his parents had reluctantly driven him to back to Chingford. Calvin should have guessed his dad wouldn't be that easily beaten.

Believing Rock 'n' Roll an unworthy pursuit, a "hollow dream" as he put it, he lured Calvin and his reunited bandmate Danny to the high street café where, under the guise of a free breakfast he grilled both lads more fiercely than the sausages.

Danny found his character cross examined, as if he'd poisoned Calvin's mind from his rightful vocational path. Belittled and humiliated he had cowered clutching thoughts of his guitar riffs that, with Calvin, he knew made for songs that could blow away the watery sounding synth-pop of the café's radio. And, with the conviction of their songs' worthiness, the lads survived interrogation; promising to commit twelve months to filling the "hollow dream" or drop it for good.

Despite the compromise the victory seemed perfect until it ran aground. Days washed by waiting for their drummer Brian to avail himself for rehearsal. When finally he agreed to meet he turned up late. In rehearsal Danny and Calvin despaired trying to groove to Brian's sloppy drum playing. His soggy sounding drums and cymbals duller than the weekend's weather added nothing to his performance.

But worse than his poor musicality, Brian had an aggressive nature.

Less inclined to suffer fools or bullies Calvin escaped the force of Brian's impudence. Instead the drummer attacked Danny's weak spots. With a mind redundant of comebacks, Danny stood at the mic crumbling; silently hating himself and Brian.

After rehearsal the lads returned to the flat and discussed what had happened.

When Amy joined them around the flat's wobbly dining table she listened to the lads complain and ventured a suggestion. Her mischievous blue-grey eyes sparkled finally stirring Danny's deflated mass. His puppy-dog eyes looked to Calvin.

Preferring not to see his friend so whipped Calvin faced Amy. 'Maybe – it's definitely a thought.'

Amy's heart went out to her friends. She recognised Calvin's agony more than Danny, who couldn't believe Katherine could be the goddess Calvin had insisted. But Danny looked glummer than she'd ever seen. She couldn't believe he allowed Brian to bully him the way he did.

The lads had a sketchy twelve-month plan which she, Amy had just rocked by suggested the un-suggestible; something neither lad dared consider.

'So, we should sack Brian?' Danny said as if turning Amy's words over to see how they fit.

'Katherine suggested it too,' Calvin said. 'Given the scarcity of drummers I dismissed the idea.'

'They might be rare but without you guys what's he gonna do?' Amy said. 'Yes, he could join other bands but if they don't suffer his crap then he'll have to join another band, and another. He should realise he needs you too.'

'Good point, what can a drummer do without a band?' Danny said.

'The thing is,' Amy went on, 'when you two sing there's magic – when you add Brian to the mix that magic vanishes. So what value is he?'

Danny's expression brightened.

Amy clicked her fingers as another suggestion sprang to mind. 'As a compromise, you could just, not phone him again.'

The two lads looked at each other.

'Sounds like a cop out,' Calvin said.

'Not really – you two do your thing and see if another drummer comes along. Meantime, Brian might recognise he's not indispensable and call you, with a change of attitude to boot. If you really find you need him, ring him and say you've been busy or something.'

Calvin looked at Danny and seeing him revived by Amy's logic thought, _That's it Brian's as good as gone_. Shutting his eyes he could almost see his dad grinning. Nevertheless he nodded. 'You're right – drummers might be rare but I suppose Brian's not worth the trouble.'

Danny's inability to deal with bullies maddened him more than the insults themselves but he felt the weight lift with the idea he'd never have to deal with Brian again. 'With or without a drummer we need to practice,' he said taking his Tokai Telecaster from its case with renewed verve.

Thrilled with herself Amy left to do her overdue exam revision.

## Saturday 18th June 1983

The following Saturday the lads shopped in London's Denmark Street for an amp to replace Danny's ailing practice amp. Calvin had insisted Danny take his Tokai along for reference. In the shops the salesmen pushed the latest solid state amplification but the U2 sound Danny wanted evaded him. Frustrated he didn't believe The Edge's sound lay solely in the effect pedals he used. Though they came back without an amp, Danny felt like he'd a new guitar having learnt that Tokai's reputation rivalled the more expensive Fender, from which his guitar had been copied.

After arriving back, Amy cooked a feast for everyone. She'd spent the previous year drinking too much and studying too little. But after her first week of exams her body craved alcohol despite her now full tummy.

'Let's go out,' she said before anyone got too comfy watching TV.

'You fancy a pint in The Lion?' Calvin asked Danny.

'Why not, I see it every day anyway.'

Getting ready in her room Amy resolved to look her best. Though her unmanageable hair generally refused to fall into one style or another the hairdryer's full heat forced it into acceptability.

Next came frustration when her denim dress squashed her boobs and worse, when she sat to pull on her Doc Martins, her corpulent stomach strained at the dress's buttons. In the mirror she looked short legged and tomboyish. She wondered why she'd figured on Docs given the weekend's temperatures. Off came the boots and socks. Summery high heels transformed her reflection provided she held her stomach in.

'You look nice,' Calvin said as she stepped into the landing. 'What's the occasion?' Danny came out of his room but didn't pass comment.

Regarding both lads in drainpipe jeans, Adidas trainers and T-shirts, Amy thought they looked handsome but unmemorable.

On the street with a spring in his step Danny talked about 10,000 Faces. Amy linked arms with Calvin knowing his saddened heart relished the contact.

'We're so much better without Brian,' Danny said. 'There was no point being good before. But, without him wrecking our songs, we're free to be our best.'

'What did I tell ya?' Amy said.

'Can anyone hear a band?' Calvin asked less eager to join Danny's optimism.

'It's The Dog and Parrot.'

'Of course,' said Amy, 'it's just reopened under new management.'

'Let's go in,' Danny said energised by the sound of live music.

Amy calculated that going in would mean getting the weight off her heels sooner and having Danny more to herself given how diluted his attention would be in The Lion.

At the top of the stairs, each paid a pound to the girl behind a table collecting entrance fees in an ashtray.

Rounding the corner of the L-shaped room the lads took position midway towards the stage. Amongst the din of drums and guitars Amy perched on a stool. Only able to see the thrashing drummer on his raised stage at the back she turned her attention to the meagre audience.

Pointing, Calvin said through the noise, 'He looks cool.'

Across the room Amy saw a casually dressed lad perhaps younger than her. With skinny sinewy arms sitting on the wall's bench seats he wore the slightest Mona Lisa smile and emitted confidence. Amy pouted nodding.

On stage the band boiled in blue or purple teddy-boy-style duster jackets. No one sweated more than the drummer who clenched varnished sticks that flew from his grip with every crashing cymbal. Within a few songs the heat got the better of the band's wilting quiffs. By the last song the bass player's hair had stuck to his face covering his eyes. The band finished and thanked the audience who joined in cricket-match-light applause.

Without requests for encores the band unplugged their instruments and left the stage.

'What d'ya reckon to them?' Danny asked Calvin.

'Okay, but I'm looking forward to the next band.' Calvin stepped aside, allowing them to charge the stage with their equipment. But, when the next couple exited he said, 'If these guys aren't local they might be left with just their girlfriends and us.'

'True, these guys can't afford to wait building tension like we will one day.'

Danny watched the guitarist dump his oversized Marshall amp on upturned beer crates before attacking a bag of leads. The bass and keyboard players mirrored his frenzy but couldn't keep ahead of people making for the door.

'Hey Calvin,' Amy said, 'that cute guy you spotted – he's their drummer.'

Calvin watched the lad coolly carrying his equipment past his bandmates to the back of the stage. He manoeuvred drums then produced the shiniest Paiste cymbals Calvin had ever seen. Before his bandmates had finished tuning he'd set something else up and passed leads to a sound technician. Waiting for the others to catch up he sat at his drum kit wearing huge headphones; sticks at the ready.

Taboo Tortured – the last band, started as Amy wobbled to the bar on stilettos. Unimpressed by how bland they sounded the barman serving her another triple vodka rolled his eyes. _I know what you mean,_ Amy thought before returning to find Danny and Calvin raving.

'Hey Amy, is this not the most boring band you've ever heard?' Danny shouted through the drab volume.

Having lost her seat Amy stood looking to the stage seeing a bunch of charisma-less thirty somethings. 'They're boring alright,' she agreed. 'Why the excitement?'

'The drummer's fantastic.'

Looking again she saw fabulousness. Wearing headphones she guessed he couldn't be listening to Taboo Tortured songs. Unfazed by the dwindling numbers he entertained and acknowledged each remaining audience member with a nod or stick-twirl. Calvin looked to Amy for her approval. 'He's gorgeous,' she said.

'Oh man, if we'd a drummer like that we'd be sorted.' Danny said.

Disappointment set in as Amy conceded she'd lost Danny's attention. As vodka pickled her thoughts the drummer, though younger and smaller than Danny, became ever more attractive.

Two triples later the mind-perverting liquid advised bedding another man would stem her frustration. Danny could wait and pulling that drummer would prove her attractiveness. Maybe she could get him to join 10,000 Faces? _Oh yeah, good one vodka_ , she thought.

For Calvin, the band's professional sound couldn't save their songs' lack of grit. Though the drummer held his attention Calvin noticed disapproving looks followed every drum fill from one instrumentalist or another.

Spotting it too Danny said, 'He gets cursed like he's played over their special moment.'

'Apart from his showmanship and stick-twirling he might be a good drummer if they'd let him play.'

'His sound is crisp as you like.'

Looking on, the drummer eventually caught Amy's eye. She gave a coy smile and waved. He winked before looking away.

Scanning the room Amy checked for contenders or girlfriends he might have. She shouted to Danny, 'I need a seat my feet ache.' Pointing to benches on the far wall she added, 'You coming?' When Danny shook his head Amy thought, _Well stuff you,_ and left him with Calvin before heading to where she'd seen the drummer earlier.

Sitting high on the seat's back she had a good view and knew the drummer would eventually return for his drum cases. She watched him scope the room. _I'm over here_. Soon his gaze found her.

Thankfully the band played their final song. They unplugged leads and set to packing without cries for encores. The jukebox played David Bowie's _Let's Dance,_ bringing reprieve to the ears of those remaining as Taboo Tortured's songs drifted from Amy's memory.

She held her breath as the drummer approached to pick up the first of his drum cases. 'Hello,' she said.

'Hello,' he said with a French accent. 'Did you enjoy zat?'

'I thought _you_ were good.'

'You didn't like ze band?'

'Truthfully?'

'Oui,' he nodded smiling.

Taking a moment she said, 'You're too good for them.'

'I hear zis often,' he said taking her remark as a compliment. He left, but soon returned with his boxed snare drum. He picked up his cymbal case.

'It looks like hot work up there,' she said thinking how to keep the conversation going. 'Should I get you some water from the bar?'

'Zat would be kind. Thank you.'

_He could have any girl he wanted,_ Amy thought as her drunken logic overruled the low opinion she had of herself during sober hours.

She returned with two pints of iced water. 'Thank you ... ?' the drummer said with an enquiring look.

Guessing his angle she said, 'Amy.'

'Ah, sweet name. I'm Raphael.' He held out his hand for her to shake. As their fingers met he brought her hand to his lips. Amy glanced towards her flatmates and smiled at Calvin who watched.

'Raphael, meet my flatmates,' she said beckoning them. 'Danny, Calvin this is Raphael.'

'Ah,' said Calvin crossing the room. 'Raphael, French or Italian?'

'French.'

'I hope you're not going to kiss my hand,' he laughed.

'No,' he said turning away. 'And you're Danny?'

'Nice one,' Danny said seeming star struck.

Amy, amused by the lads' bungled introduction, hid her grin.

'You're fortunate to share a flat with Amy,' Raphael said looking her up and down.

Grinning she said, 'They're musicians too. You should hear their songs.'

'Really?' He turned back to them. Unable to read him as serious or astonished the lads shrugged bashfully.

Nobody moved. An uncomfortable silence followed. Eventually, seeming mightily unimpressed, Raphael said, 'Well, nice meeting you. Excuse me whilst I carry on packing.' He looked at Amy and smiled before returning to the stage.

Danny breathed a sigh of relief. 'Bit full of himself.'

'Isn't he?' Calvin said sourly. 'To say he didn't actually play much in the end.'

'I know, the recorded percussion did it all,' Danny said.

Amy let them wander back to their side of the room to prop up the wall where their babbling nonsense became inaudible.

Catching a glance from Danny she gave a quizzical look. _I thought you'd want to say more to him._ Hadn't they just been raving about the same musician's performance?

Beside her again, Raphael packed his multi-knobbed tape machine into polystyrene. Amy asked, 'So what brings such a handsome Frenchman to England?'

'My dad's work; half my life ago. He's a physicist.'

'And where do you and your band come from?'

'South of Hemel.'

Raphael said no more as a hulking man appeared and bellowed at the stragglers to see their drinks off and leave. When he looked at Amy, Raphael said, 'It's alright Kev, she's with me.'

Kev, the landlord, winked and turned his attention to Danny and Calvin. The lads slugged the dregs of their pints.

'Guess we're leaving,' Calvin said before calling to Amy, 'You coming?'

Amy didn't know what to say until she felt Raphael's hand touch hers. 'I'll catch you up. Where you going?'

'Too late for The Lion,' Danny said to Calvin.

'See you in the Hippodrome?' Calvin asked.

Amy agreed and when the lads departed she asked Raphael, 'So, what happens now?'

'Now,' he said, 'I kiss you.'

She didn't really want a kiss but knew it meant he liked her and that's what counted. She closed her eyes. The odd butterfly took flight in her stomach as Raphael's lips closed on hers.

'Come on guys,' the keyboard player shouted.

Amy broke the kiss. 'I'd better let you finish.'

* * *

Raphael shut the boot of his dad's Rover 3500. His bandmates agreed their next meeting before leaving Amy alone with him.

'I missed dinner,' he said. 'Can we grab something before ze club?'

Though still full from earlier Amy thought she'd manage some salad to keep him company and suggested the café where Calvin's dad had taken the lads a fortnight earlier.

'Luxurious car,' Amy said as they pulled away.

'Living with my parents has benefits. I'm insured for both their cars.'

'Lucky you. So, did you do French at O-Level, bet you walked it?'

'Not really. I got a C.'

'Oh,' Amy said. 'That's quite good.'

'People imagined I'd do better but like most Frenchmen I'm arrogant. I did no work for ze exams.' Raphael paused then smiling added, 'Although, Miss McAuley my French teacher, did say my oral was ze best she'd had all day.'

Amy raised her eyebrows. 'I can imagine.'

'It's busy,' Raphael said pulling up by the café's windows.

'I'm sure there'll be a table.'

Looking at the menu boards Raphael predicted an inferior supper to his mum's French cuisine. Too hungry to care he ordered burger with chips for himself and salad for Amy. Standing a foot apart he wondered if he'd kissed her too soon. Though clearly she liked him he'd sensed resistance.

Towards the seating area rowdy drinkers broke into disagreement. As arguing lads shoved each other Amy stepped closer to him and said, 'Fancy making this a takeaway?'

Even in heels she fit neatly beneath his arm. He looked at her pleading expression. 'My dad won't like food in ze car.'

* * *

In the Hippodrome Danny and Calvin watched girls dance pretending not to notice the leering guys.

'That was frustrating,' Calvin said.

'I know,' Danny said gritting his teeth annoyed having cocked-up with the best drummer they'd seen since first picking up guitars years earlier. 'Okay he's in a band, so he's no reason to be interested but it's still a blow to the ego.'

With eyes down Calvin felt as dejected as Danny looked. The girls dancing paled into the background not that he'd paid girls attention since Saint Tropez.

'We weren't cool,' Danny said.

'We weren't ourselves.'

'Good point.' He checked his watch. 'I don't think they're coming. Maybe Amy'll bring him back to the flat.'

'Doubt it,' Calvin said shaking his head. 'She never does.'

'True. Why is that?'

'No idea. She lays ever bloke she comes across but never brings them back.'

'Probably because her room's too messy.'

'She won't get his number either.'

'Right, sleeps with them, then drops 'em like sacks of coal.'

Lifting his head Calvin glimpsed a woman with similar features to Katherine. He looked away fearing she might sully his fading memory of her. He wished she'd given him a photo.

When a further half hour passed with no sign of Amy the lads gave up and headed home. Outside in the street's warmth Calvin faced the starry sky. He missed France.

Bringing him back to the present Danny said, 'Whether he loved himself or not he entertained the room.'

'That drummer?'

'Yeah.'

'Bags of personality,' Calvin said. 'He really didn't play much though did he? He just cracked out the same rhythm all night.'

'We need someone more elaborate given we're only a three piece band.'

'Don't think his dire band gave him room to elaborate.'

'Maybe. Can't really blame him for shunning us. By now Amy's probably throwing everything she's got at him.'

Ignoring Danny's crudeness Calvin said, 'Of course, he's not rejected us musically, because he hasn't actually heard our songs.'

'Good point.'

'And we've a clearer idea of the drummer we're looking for.'

'Elaborate, cool and snappy sounding.' Danny reached for his keys.

'Mate, we can but dream.'

Inside the flat and at the top of the stairs Danny said, 'She's not here.'

'Not in her room?'

'Nah, door's not shut and there's no light on.'

* * *

Around 4am Danny woke; the beer had migrated to his bladder. Rolling out of bed with one eye cracked open he stumbled through the flat towards the bathroom. Without thought he stepped across the threshold but a shocking smell assaulted him. Forced backwards he slammed the door and stood holding his nose like someone had punched him. _Crikey Calvin what did you eat?_ Thinking back Danny recalled, Amy had cooked. Everyone had eaten the same thing. He pressed his hand into his gut but it seemed fine. No pain, no gurgling. Still he had to go in. Drawing lungs of clean air he re-entered the bathroom. _Aw, you could've opened the window,_ he thought standing at the sink tilting it fully. _Should've removed the outer wall_.

On the same breath he stood before the toilet exercising gallons of previously savoured beer until he could contain his breath no longer. Exhaling, his lungs instantly demanded refilling. Longing for fresh air Danny considered swinging round to the window and finishing in the sink.

Alas his diaphragm reflexively pulled down drawing the next breath. Peeing full force he flushed and dashed to the kitchen to rinse hands and ventilate his lungs.

## Sunday 19th June 1983

Danny woke the next morning clear headed. Hearing his flatmates he dressed and headed off for a brew.

'Morning mate,' Calvin said sitting in an armchair cross-legged with his bass.

'Morning,' Danny said clapping palms with him as he passed.

In the kitchen Amy buttered rounds of toast next to the steaming kettle. She looked comfy in big socks and a T-shirt of his hanging like a dress above her knees.

'I'd forgotten about this T-shirt,' he said.

Looking up Amy smiled as he bent in to kiss her cheek. 'Been looking after it for you. You wanting the kettle?'

'Please. Didn't hear you come in last night. What happen with Frenchy?'

'For God's sake Danny, his name's Raphael.'

'Sorry,' he said. 'So?'

'So what?'

'What happened?'

'Nothing.' Amy continued buttering toast adding, 'He's behind you.'

Danny's eyebrows shot up. Turning he faced the lounge and the French drummer who sat on the settee looking small with his knees pulled into his chest.

'I must've walked right passed you. Good to see you.'

'Morning Danny.'

Impressed he'd remembered his name, Danny went to shake hands. Raphael replied to his gesture offering a limp, clammy palm.

Bunging his hand back in his jeans pocket Danny said, 'Good gig last night.'

'Thanks. We played well and ze music sounded tight enough, I suppose. Sorry about staying over by ze way. I got so tired and Amy was ... too pretty to leave.' He smiled at her.

'Our pleasure. So, where are your drums?'

'In ze car. I'd better check.'

Raphael seemed to fight his way from the settee.

Danny waited until he'd gone then said, 'Well done Amy, you seeing him again?' Before she could answer he gave Calvin a thumbs-up having forgotten the previous night's criticism of the drummer.

Biting her lip Amy didn't look up. 'It's not like that Danny. He's a nice lad.'

'Too nice for you, you mean?'

'Very funny,' she said not facing him.

Calvin signalled him to drop it but Danny continued. 'He's not too nice.'

She pointed the buttery knife at him. 'Don't dictate to me Danny. If you're interested just because you want a drummer you'll have to talk to him. Don't tell me what to do. I'm not some prostitute.'

Taken aback Danny made to put his arm around her. She pulled away but apologised.

He stood, arms still open. 'I don't know what I've done.'

'I know you don't you big oaf.' She let him pull her in and kiss the top of her head.

Entering the room Raphael stopped in his tracks. Danny let go of her. Raphael smirked and sat down again hugging his knees.

'There you are sweetheart,' Amy said handing him a mug of tea and toast.

'Thank you Amy, zis is too kind.'

Finding Raphael less cocky than the previous night, Danny's confidence grew. 'Is your car okay?'

'Yes, just as I left it.'

Fixing himself with tea and toast he asked, 'Your band?'

'Taboo Tortured.'

'Right. It's ... How's it working for you?'

Raphael shifted and sighed, 'It's okay – not great.'

From the other end of the settee Amy gave Danny an encouraging nod.

'Are you looking to take it all the way?'

'I'll go as far as I can. But Taboo won't get any further.'

'Ah. Well, there must be loads of promising bands who'd snap you up.'

'Not in Hemel. I should know; I work in ze music shop. Most bands do covers or can't really play. At least Taboo can.'

'So what's stopping them getting further?'

'You don't have to pretend you liked them Danny, they're motivated by equipment not songs or performance.'

Twanging a few notes on his Musicman Calvin said, 'You've got good gear too. But, the rapport you built with the audience, well we couldn't miss that.'

'Thank you. I believe that's very important. I read a century old book called Ze Crowd. I try to apply its principles to rock audiences.'

Calvin rubbed his hands together. 'Sounds like essential reading.'

'Well it's been translated from French into most languages. Hitler was a fan but Taboo Tortured couldn't get interested; not when there's so many synthesiser knobs to play with.' Raphael struggled finishing his toast then said to Danny, 'Calvin tells me you're looking for a drummer yes?'

'Yeah, we've got twelve months to make it big which can't happen unless we find a better more committed drummer than the one we're trying to forget.'

'I see.'

'I mean, if we can pull it off it's as much as any drummer could dream isn't it?'

'Don't all bands strive for greatness?'

'Appreciated,' Calvin said. 'Nevertheless could we interest you?'

Raphael shrugged. 'I'm curious. Amy speaks well of you but, being honest, last night you didn't strike me as guys I'd want to start a band with. Plus I'm sure you've further to go than you realise.'

'Okay, we know we didn't impact last night,' Calvin said undeterred, 'but how could we get your interest?'

'Gimmie ze songs, if I love your sound we'll talk. It's time I left but I'll gladly take a demo?'

Rushing to his room Danny picked though TDK tapes of 10,000 Faces music. But the lost first impression bothered him. Despite his confidence in the songs, his excitement faltered knowing the sub-demo recordings would destroy Raphael's interest faster than it took him to eject the tape. Danny knew that winning Raphael's approval meant electrifying him right now.

He returned to the lounge with tapes in one hand and guitar in the other. Already on his feet Calvin must have thought the same.

'I know you're looking to get going but how about we quickly play a song or two?'

'Okay great,' Raphael stammered fidgeting.

Ignoring this Calvin and Danny looked at each other, intuitively knowing to play their newest song _She's Not Here;_ with its Katherine inspired lyric and crunchy rock riff.

Raphael remained on the settee hugging his legs. At the other end Amy's eager grin spurred them on. Dismissing the notion that Raphael should be auditioning for them, Danny and Calvin understood he had the power to accept or condemn them in their own home.

Looking at each other and with just the slightest of head nods they hit the first chord in perfect time and tempo. Despite resistance in his un-warmed throat Danny sensed his voice shimmering harmonically with Calvin's; a sound sure to affect the hearts of their two listeners. As they dipped to the lows and soared to the highs of verse and chorus the boys evoked the magic, ex-drummer Brian Collins could no longer scupper. When they finished Amy clapped and cheered.

Though delighted with her reaction Danny looked to Raphael. He clapped and congratulated them and Danny knew the song had done the trick.

Smiling at Amy, Danny bowed and asked Raphael, 'So, was that your cup of tea?'

'That'd be anyone's cup of tea,' he said. Looking thoughtful he requested they play the chorus again. After they did he said, 'It's great. You have other songs this good?'

'Loads,' Calvin said. Raphael bombarded them with questions about the writing process. They answered and confessed that neither could sing too strongly.

'But when you harmonise you're superb,' Raphael said. 'Play another one.'

They played two more songs, each delighting Raphael as much as the one before.

Danny knew the balance of power had levelled when Raphael asked, 'Tell me, who would your ideal drummer be?'

'Maybe Stuart Copeland, The Police drummer,' Calvin said. 'Someone with character as well as powerful sound and performance.'

'I can do that,' Raphael said. 'And, I can sing.'

'You can?'

'Yes. Not lead but an extra voice, when required.'

The lads looked at one another. 'Can you show us?' Danny asked.

Raphael asked them to play the first song's chorus. When they did he said, 'I can hear room for a third voice.'

'Okay, let's give it a try.'

On next play through Raphael joined in. His voice blended creating a more pleasing chord.

'Oh my God, you really can sing,' Amy said.

* * *

As the Rover 3500 sped towards Hemel, Raphael considered 10,000 Faces as the antithesis of Taboo Tortured. They made up for their deficient equipment with powerful songs delivered with spirit but without self-righteousness. Their live performance had made up for the muffled percussion-less recordings now spewing from the car's tape deck.

Seeing past their initial dorkyness, and that they probably spent more time writing about getting girls than having them, Raphael recognised their extraordinary musical relationship. _They didn't even need to count ze songs in_ , he thought inspired by their near telepathic bond.

Flooring the accelerator and beating the lights Raphael mused as to whether a band open-minded enough to let him sing could be the band for him to shine. Checking his pocket his fingers found the paper with their phone number.

* * *

Back in Chingford, Calvin kept his emotions in check for fear of Raphael changing like Katherine had. 'He seemed more ordinary off stage didn't he?'

Amy said, 'He's only human. Maybe he's not as cool as you thought.'

'You thought he was cool too Amy, you slept with him,' Danny said.

Amy didn't laugh and after a moment she went to her room to revise. Wound up like a kid with a new toy, Danny failed to notice Amy's saddened mood.

'Take it easy mate,' Calvin said of Raphael, 'he might be as lazy as Brian.'

'Cal, I saw his face. He was way more impressed with the songs than Brian ever was; as proper musicians should be. And as for being lazy you don't get that good at your instrument without dedicated practice.'

'We don't know how good he is yet. He might seem perfect but let's not blow it by being overly keen.'

'He'll ring back.'

'Maybe but be aware it might turn out he's not ready to ditch that other band. He could have other commitments we don't know about. What does he do during the day?'

'Music shop, remember?'

'Oh yeah,' Calvin said thinking. 'Hey, maybe he could source you a decent amp.'

'Now who's overly keen?'

'Okay, you're right. But be open-minded and in the meantime let's prepare to be just what he's looking for.'

In her room Amy cursed both Danny's disrespect and herself for having brought Raphael home despite its potentially upbeat outcome.

The previous night too woozy to stand on her heels the flat seemed the only place to go given the rough café and Raphael's whinging about his dad's car. She'd kicked off her heels and plated Raphael's food, keeping the salad and a few chips for herself. When he refused a beer Amy considered she'd drunk enough for them both anyway.

They'd sat on the settee but as they finished eating she asked, 'Don't you ever drink?'

'Never. To me it tastes worse than ze horrible burger I just ate.' He offered her chewing gum and took a piece for himself.

'You can't taste vodka if it's full of Coke.'

'Some people can. Apparently alcohol tastes different to different people.'

'I'll be wishing I was like that tomorrow,' Amy said largely to herself.

'There's a downside to not drinking.'

'Oh?'

'Typically people who don't like alcohol have voracious appetites for sugar.'

As Amy's eyelids weighed heavier her body became amorous. 'I can be sweet.'

'And you're ze perfect dessert.' Putting his gum on the plate Raphael kissed her.

Amy recognised the territory; she'd been there too many times before. Though on one hand she didn't want to take things further she knew she'd have to or else doubt her attractiveness. 'Better take this to my room – just in case.'

When she led, he followed but she left him so she could freshen up.

On the way back from the bathroom she switched the lights and TV off.

Raphael said, 'I guess I should freshen too.'

'Okay, but be quick we're supposed to be going clubbing.'

She'd waited under the covers of her single bed before wondering whether she'd been right to strip fully. Being French he might have wanted to undress her. Jumping out, she opened her underwear drawer and dressed in matching lingerie before hopping back in. A moment later she worried this might still be wrong and dived into a navy T-shirt she didn't recognise until, draped in something so vast remembered borrowing it from Danny. She could hear Raphael's footsteps approaching.

Amy had the light off and covers over her just as Raphael came through the door.

The amber streetlights illuminated his shirtless form. Without an ounce of fat he had six-pack and ribs – too skinny in her opinion. Though the door stood ajar she pulled back the covers trusting they'd be dressed and back out through it in no time.

But Raphael's caresses came as slowly as the tide; his kisses washing over her body relaxing her and transporting her far from the city.

When next she opened her eyes daylight filled them. 'Oh, morning,' she said as Raphael stroked her face.

'Good morning Amy. We fell asleep. Thank you so much for not kicking me out.'

* * *

After Raphael had left with tapes, Danny did an extra shift at the pub. Calvin's watch showed 18:08 when he crashed home. Calvin figured he must have finished on the dot and run straight back.

'Hi,' he said slowing down as he passed the phone at the top of the stairs pretending he hadn't been rushing. 'Any news?'

'He's not phoned.'

'Nah, it's still too soon.' Danny's face fell as the lads went next door and slumped into lounge chairs.

'There's about twenty songs on that tape. It'll take him at least a night to get through them,' Calvin said.

Hearing the door downstairs Danny asked, 'Is Amy out?'

'Went to revise with friends, Alison and Joanne I guess. That'll be her now.'

She must have been halfway up the stairs when the phone rang. Danny heard Amy say to the receiver, 'Hello?' _Pause_ , 'Oh, hello, he might be back.' _Pause_ , 'Yeah I'm well thank you.' _Pause_ , 'I'm looking after him don't worry—'

'It's your mum,' Calvin said guessing.

'Might be yours.'

'Nah, it's yours.'

'... I'll go and see,' Amy said to the receiver, 'Danny?'

'Yeah.'

'It's your mum.'

'Dammit Cal,' he said getting up.

After he'd finished he joined Calvin and Amy in the lounge. 'Hey guys, I told my mum ages ago that I need a new amp and she told my uncle Nick. Anyway, he's found a really old one. It doesn't work but apparently if it did it'd be pretty good. He picked it up unbelievably cheap from some guy who didn't know what he was selling.'

'Cool, what make is it?' Calvin asked.

'Mum didn't know.'

'You can at least get someone to have a look at it; see if it's worth fixing.'

'Well Uncle Nick's bringing it round next week.'

After joking that a top price Messa Boogie might turn up Calvin suggested they head out for a run.

'Now?'

'It's alright, Amy can get the phone if he rings.

'Yeah, alright. Gorra keep in shape.'

Following laps of the nearby Larkwood fields Danny challenged Calvin to a sprint finish. When he agreed Danny took off. Seeing his speeding bulk diminish, Calvin held his breath and rocketed like Daley Thompson. He passed Danny with victorious momentum beating him to the front door by several feet.

'I'll get you one of these days,' Danny said opening the front door whilst Calvin bent double gasping for air.

Upstairs they found Amy on Calvin's double bed revising for her last exams.

'Anyone phoned?' Danny asked.

'Not since your mum.'

With that Danny took first shower. The moment the shower's monsoon doused him, he sensed the phone ringing. He pummelled a dollop of shampoo through his hair, soaped and rinsed. Despite thorough towelling the humidity produced fresh sweat re-soaking him.

Finding Calvin on the landing with receiver to his ear Danny motioned. Calvin gave the thumbs-up. Impressed with Calvin's half of the conversation he listened but minutes later left him and Raphael jabbering.

Calvin found him cooling in his room playing guitar. 'So, what's the crack?'

'You're ringing him back.'

'I am, why?'

'So we can arrange a rehearsal.'

'Really? Well done Cal.' Danny put his guitar aside. 'So he likes the songs?'

'Well, he does—'

'That's great.'

'It is, but he says even the boring bands he's played for send properly recorded demos round the record companies.'

'Okay, what's your point?'

'That we'll need to get a decent demo. But because 10,000 Faces is still embryonic if we're to do stuff together he wants an equal part – like a founder member.'

'Fine, if he contributes equally.'

'He believes he would. He's got heaps of useful equipment and can drive. But apart from that he doesn't want to join a band as stimulating as he believes we could be just to bang drums to someone else's songs. He wants to be part of the creating process. He's got A-level music and can play keyboard.'

'Okay. He's welcome to join in and we'll see how it goes.'

'It's a lot he's asking,' Calvin warned. 'I mean song writing's something we do together and know works. Plus you've heard the joke, _What's the last thing a drummer says in a band_?'

Danny shrugged, 'What is the last thing a drummer says?'

' _Why don't we play one of my songs?_ '

Laughing Danny said, 'Terrible. But it's worth a try isn't it?'

'Definitely. He recognises we're prolific songwriters. He wants to add to that not handicap it.'

'Fair enough.'

'But, until everyone knows where we stand he won't be giving notice to Taboo Tortured.'

'Wouldn't expect him to.'

'D'ya wanna ring him back; arrange a rehearsal? He works Monday to Thursday in the music shop and he's free most evenings and weekends.'

'Can he get discounts?'

After ringing the rehearsal rooms and Raphael, Danny found Calvin in the lounge.

'Raphael's got five songs to learn and we've got forty-eight hours to make sure we're ready.'

## Tuesday 21st June 1983

With little time to familiarise himself with the songs Raphael had taken the tape to his music shop.

'What the hell's that noise?' his boss Derek called over to him. When Raphael told him Derek said, 'Sounds like it's been recorded through a sieve.'

'Yes, but ze songs are great.'

Derek left the till and came to Raphael's corner of the shop to listen again. 'True, the melodies and harmonies show promise.'

Left alone Raphael practiced adding further harmonies whilst guessing what drum lines to play.

* * *

On Tuesday evening he set off for the rehearsal rooms following Danny's directions arriving in good time.

A guy behind the counter said, 'They's here already, Room-7 – top floor.'

Raphael climbed stone steps avoiding the corridor's unwelcoming saucers of rat poison. Behind Room-7's heavy door, he took a deep breath before going in.

'Hi,' his voice squeaked when Danny looked round. Gripping Danny's hand he nodded to Calvin and forced his voice lower, 'Everyone's early – good sign.'

The room's whitewash glare, oxidising metal window frames and desolation caused an agoraphobic shiver. He kicked the uncarpeted felt underlay and wafted mildewed dust away.

'Drums in the car?' Calvin asked.

'Yes, I'll go get them,' Raphael said switching focus from the rusty pipes.

'We'll give you a hand.'

'Mark, can we get some mics?' Danny asked the receptionist on their way back.

'Certainly,' he said reaching for two.

'Actually, three today,' Calvin said.

'I see,' Mark said grabbing another. 'There you go. Best of luck to yas.'

'We'll see,' Raphael said.

As they started towards the steps Mark added with a cheeky grin, 'With this hot weather you're the only band in so I'll be listening.'

Heaving the gear upstairs Raphael noticed Calvin and Danny's athletically conditioned figures. But, lugging the bass drum with his skinny arms he still smugly decided against pumping iron.

Back in the room Calvin plugged into the HH bass amp where it stood. Raphael watched knowing it'd sound terrible where it stood. Danny choose the smaller of the room's two amps. 'You're not going for ze Marshall?'

'No fear, I don't like those big speakers smothering everything.'

Holding his tongue Raphael wandered around the room striking his snare drum to find the sonically best spot. 'Everyone okay if I set up here?'

Danny caught Calvin's eye and, having never seen anyone patrol a room bashing drums listening for things normal folk couldn't hear, the lads burst into smiles. Though better than Sunday morning Danny still reckoned Raphael lacked the charisma he'd shown in The Dog and Parrot.

With instruments at the ready Danny soundchecked his vocal mic. Calvin set up one for Raphael and with a smile said, 'There ya go.'

'Giz a one two Cal,' Danny said from the mixing desk.

'One two, two one two.' Calvin's voice thrust from wall mounted speakers.

Adding reverb Danny then asked, 'One two, Raphael?'

'One two, one two,' he said with less punch than Calvin.

'Cheers. Levels next. Raphael hit us with a rhythm please?' Danny watched Raphael take a steadying breath and lift his sticks before:

BOOM, CRACK, Ba-BOOM BOOM, CRACK!

With ears bursting with sound, Danny saw Calvin's eyes popping on stalks. More than loud Raphael's drums coloured the drab room rainbow bright.

The beat continued. Straight postured, Raphael grooved; the subtle yet unmistakable smile retuning.

Pulling himself together Danny faced the amp thinking he might need the Marshall after all. However, the drums didn't overwhelm the guitar which cut through dancing between the space the kick, snare and hi-hats presented.

Unfortunately Calvin's bass waddled into the celebration less welcome than a stoned hippo. He spun knobs on the amp as Danny, a clueless spectator, watched the comedy.

Nothing seemed to help until Raphael stopped playing and said, 'Here, let's pull ze amp away from ze wall and angle it better.'

'Cheers,' Calvin said once the amp had moved three feet to a new position.

'Give it a go now and if necessary boost ze mid-range.'

Like a different guitar Calvin's Musicman now sounded tightly dulcet.

'That's done the trick,' Calvin said into his microphone. Raphael winked. Calvin, still buoyant looked at Danny. 'Ready?'

The moment Raphael had started playing his confidence geyserred and he knew he'd secured the gig. Plus his fortitude doubled when helping Calvin's amateurish false start.

Raphael's opinion blew from cold to hot again once more as musically things leapt together. Attempting the first song Calvin locked the groove to Raphael's drumming like Lego. Privately Raphael conceded that the smaller amp sounded fine. He couldn't believe how good the band already looked. Danny, burning calories like Pete Townsend showed moments of Hendrix's flamboyance. Calvin became a different animal. Seeming to grow six inches he prowled between drum kit and mic looking like a bass playing Jim Morrison. He couldn't believe he'd failed to recognise this when he'd met them in The Dog and Parrot. With everyone looking as though born to rock Raphael slotted into Calvin and Danny's musical relationship as all doubts dissipated.

'Good job,' Calvin soon said to Raphael.

'Thank you. I like that song.'

'And thank you; you gave it exactly what it needed.' Danny said.

'Shall we try another?'

'Great,' Danny said. 'Let's try, _Paint Your Life_.'

From beat-one everyone promptly lost whatever they thought they had. Though maintaining eye contact and playing well they struggled; the vibe tumbling. Danny's voice sounded forced as his guitar failed to deliver.

They tried another song, then another. Then they played the first one again but even that lay flat.

Unable to understand the problem Calvin squinted at the setting sun; the prospect of another two hours of this depressed him. After the next attempt he said, 'Let's take a break.'

'Thank God,' Danny said.

Raphael stood up stretching.

In reception Danny leant against the dispenser as a can of Coke clattered through.

Unaware of the mood Mark said, 'Sounding good tonight guys.'

'Really?' Danny said.

'The best I've ever heard yas.'

Calvin looked at Danny who said, 'We would've agreed with you. We started great – then it was like the maid appeared and vac'd the good stuff up.'

'Beginner's luck,' Raphael said. 'Apparently it's a real phenomenon.'

'What,' Danny stated. It hadn't been meant as a question.

Raphael said, 'I don't know ze science but it's like God shows beginners their potential then takes it away because greatness has to be worked at.'

Danny rolled his eyes. He wanted the band to be brilliant but couldn't believe philosophising or reading books on crowd psychology would help. To his dismay Calvin seemed fascinated.

'We've been that good once,' he said, 'we can do it again, and better.'

'That's ze spirit. Perhaps it is a spiritual thing. If our spirits pull in ze same direction then we'll achieve our dreams.'

'What's your opinion?' Danny asked Mark who'd wisely returned his attention to his newspaper.

Turning a page he said, 'I think you surprised yourselves by playing one song well then figured you was The Who. But given you're only a three-piece any line-up changes will inevitably cause upset. Just trust the songs – don't rush.'

Danny followed Calvin and Raphael back upstairs without their shared enthusiasm, wondering how much he had in common with the oddball drummer.

When they arrived back in the room Danny said into his mic, 'Okay, things might have seemed too good to be true before.'

Calvin suggested they jam for a while. Danny agreed that might be a way of getting to know one another musically.

Raphael suggested they play along to his four-track percussion parts.

'Isn't that cheating? Me and Danny's common influence was The Sex Pistols.'

'Oh yeah,' said Raphael. 'They're as contrived as any band you could care to mention.'

'How so?'

'They were styled to death, by Vivian Westwood.'

Soon, looking like a pro, Raphael slipped one headphone off an ear checking his four-track's volume against the kit and began grooving in and out of the percussive beats.

The rhythms infected Calvin. Reminded of disco he didn't dare join in having never learned to play the fast riffs associated with that style. Instead shutting his eyes he imagined a way in. His few well-placed bass notes gave the drums room to breathe. Danny joined in following Calvin.

Each musician played allowing the others space until each radiant face looked up seeing other radiant faces. Calvin stepped to the mic singing _'whoo-hoos'_.

They reclaimed some of the promise they'd opened with rehearsing an hour longer than arranged until Mark finally appeared to kick them out.

## Wednesday 22nd June 1983

Back from his day shift Danny sat watching Nationwide. 'You're late back,' he said when Amy arrived home.

'Stopped at the union bar to celebrate finishing my penultimate exam,' she said slumping next to him on the settee.

'And there I was thinking you'd be studying for your ultimate one.'

Ignoring him she nodded to the door. 'I just passed Calvin on the phone presumably gabbing to Raphael. I guess rehearsal went well last night.'

'Yep.'

Amy detected some uncertainty. 'So is he in?'

'As far as we're concerned.'

'Congratulations, well done.'

'Thanks Amy.' He smiled. 'And thanks for bringing him back that night.'

'Oh God, don't remind me,' she said wishing he'd drop it.

Calvin came through the door. Seeing Amy he asked how her exam had been.

'Okay, maybe, but who cares?' She got to her feet. 'Raphael's in the band?'

Calvin hugged her. 'Great news huh?'

'He's confirmed it?' Danny asked.

'He has but he's got one condition.'

'Here we go,' Danny said. 'Does he want us to sign up to some New Age course?'

Amy looked to Calvin, puzzled. Calvin said, 'He comes out with some strange stuff.'

'What's his condition? Danny said.

'That we think of a new band name.'

'Why?'

'There's nothing wrong with 10,000 Faces but if he's in then he wants it to be a new band, with a new name.'

Danny pursed his lips. 'That's his only demand?'

'Yup.'

'I guess we should clean the slate if he's to properly enter the spirit of things. What about next rehearsal?'

'I'll ring Mark and book Saturday.'

## Thursday 23rd June 1983

The next day after a fruitless pub shift spent trying to think of band names Danny returned to his room. With Amy away revising and Calvin out running he relaxed close to sleep. His eyes closed when—

Bang-bang-bang!

He leapt with surprise. _God I hope it's not TV Licensing._

He opened the front door relieved to see all six foot five inches of his uncle Nick cradling a dusty old guitar amplifier.

'These things don't half get heavy quick,' Uncle Nick said as Danny stood letting him past.

'I wasn't expecting you today. D'you wanna hand?'

'Just tell me where to drop it and get the kettle on.'

'Top of the stairs is fine,' Danny said not wanting his uncle to see his cluttered room.

After making the brews Danny fought to hide his disappointment in the dumped 1960's style relic which looked more beaten up than his decommissioned practice amp.

'So it's a Vox AC30?' he said turning the knobs hoping they'd break off in his hand but finding their action smooth. 'Does that mean anything to you?'

'You've never come across Vox in your guitar mags?'

'I can't think that I have. It's mostly Peavey nowadays.'

'Well, Vox shaped the sound of British Rock 'n' Roll.'

Uncle Nick listed bands including The Beatles and The Shadows plus some less famous acts. Hearing the gravely past tense list Danny's interest hit rock bottom until Uncle Nick mention The Who and Queen. Danny didn't mind Brian May's sound but thought Townsend used Hiwatt amps. Nevertheless he conceded that maybe there'd be a virtuous sound should the amp ever get going again.

'I only gambled a tenner on it,' Uncle Nick said. 'The guy I took it off doesn't know what's up with it. He just wanted shut of it.'

'Doesn't he play guitar anymore?'

'He never did, it's his daughter's ex-boyfriend's. He's in prison. Don't know what for before you ask but his sentence just got extended for bad behaviour.'

Uncle Nick had taken the mugs to the kitchen when Calvin came panting back.

'Hey, like the amp. Vox are pretty good aren't they?'

'I don't like the look of it,' Danny whispered.

'Forget it. It's probably a classic. Rocking up to gigs with this you might be the talk of the town.'

'You reckon?' Danny stepped back stroking his chin. 'Uncle Nick reckons Vox are the cornerstone of British rock. I thought Marshall was.'

'Well you know how to find out.'

'I do?'

'Yeah, Raphael. He works in a music shop.'

Calvin kept Uncle Nick company whilst Danny phoned Raphael.

'Well?' Calvin asked when Danny joined them in the lounge minutes later.

'Very interesting. Uncle Nick d'you pass Hemel on your way home?'

'Why?'

'Seems Vox are rare these days since the company went under. Most can be fixed and,' he paused for effect, 'Raphael's shop has a house technician.'

'So we drop it off tomorrow?' Nick enquired.

'Well, yeah. It's Raphael's day off but he'll go in specially.'

'It'd be nice to hear it in action.'

'We can go to the pub in the meantime. I'll make it worth your while.'

'Alright. I've only got one nephew. Let me check in with your aunt first though.'

## Friday 24th June 1983

'God I'm wrecked,' Amy said the next morning resting her head against Calvin's chest as they waited for the kettle to boil.

'Last exam today,' Calvin said.

'I know. I'm really worried.'

The following silence suggested Calvin didn't have any consolatory words for her. She regretted having joined the lads in the pub instead of spending the previous night revising.

Shifting her sense of guilt to Calvin she asked, 'Are you job searching today?'

'I was but curiosity about Danny's amp and Raphael's shop got the better of me.'

Entering the lounge Danny announced, 'Right, I've rang work sick.'

'You supposed to be working?' Amy asked.

'Yeah, I only remembered once we got to the pub last night. After you left with that lad I had to act like I was coming down with something. Liz's asked me to do Saturday after next instead.'

* * *

On her way to poly Amy steadied herself against a zebra crossing's Belisha beacon. Tired and still a teensy bit drunk she swayed as if on a ship's deck waiting to cross the road to the exam hall.

* * *

'Welcome to ze shop,' Raphael said as his hand vanished in Uncle Nick's giant handshake. 'Where's zee amp, I'll give you a hand?'

Though he'd heard of the Vox AC30, seeing it almost fill the boot surprised him.

Back in the shop before Danny's arms tired, Raphael ushered everyone to the back. 'Come and meet Trevor.'

Calvin followed with Danny's guitar. All four crammed into Trevor's room where the pony tailed yet balding technician sat amongst soldering irons, oscilloscopes, a cacophony of wires and a mild whiff of sweat.

'AC30?' Trevor said putting his glasses on. 'How long have you had it?'

'Let's see now,' Danny said, 'about sixteen hours?'

'Ah, so you don't know its history?'

'Crikey, no.'

Uncle Nick said, 'I picked it up for a tenner.'

Trevor looked at the big man over his glasses, 'A tenner?'

'Yeah, did I get ripped off?'

'Highly unlikely.' Trevor prodded wires at the back with an electronic meter. 'These thirty watters started good and just got better over time; maybe too good for the money. They went bust and were taken over by a lazy company during the seventies.'

Doubting Trevor's appraisal Raphael said, 'This monster only turns out thirty watts? We've got decent priced hundred watters half this size downstairs.'

Trevor nodded. 'This'll kick their arses. Thirty watts of Vox wins every time – particularly in tonal character.'

Trevor peered into the back. 'Lovely – blue Celestion speakers, fantastic cabinet. Whatever's wrong can be fixed I'm sure.'

'Not too expensively I hope,' Uncle Nick said.

Trevor ignored him. 'Fuses look fine. Let's give it a go.' Removing the meter he picked up a Stratocaster he'd been working on.

Hitting a chord Raphael flinched and watched Uncle Nick's smile fade as the poor old amp managed less than a croak.

Trevor appeared unconcerned. 'Classic valve failure. Valves don't last forever you know.' Unplugging the power he removed the first tube. 'Yup, that's history.'

Within minutes he'd rifled through shelves of boxes and fitted replacements. 'We'll give 'em a sec to warm up.'

'So,' Danny said, 'The Beatles used this kind of amp?'

'Loads of guitarists still do. That U2 guitarist swears by his.'

'You're kidding me – The Edge uses AC30?'

'Absolutely,' Trevor assured him. 'Let's try again shall we?'

'Uncle Nick I think you've found exactly the right amp,' Danny said slapping his back and willing the amp to be okay; better than ok as Trevor arranged the knobs on the top. Striking a chord the amp returned it and sounded perfect. Uncle Nick's face lit up.

Danny gratefully accepted his uncle's determination to pay the modest bill before wishing the lads well and setting back home.

Out of Trevor's office and back on the shop floor Calvin said, 'You've been saving ages for an amp and you've just landed the one you didn't even know you wanted, for free.'

Danny concurred.

'Plug it in,' Raphael said. 'Let's have fun. I'll get some pedals.'

Trevor, who'd joined them for a coffee break, shouted after Raphael, 'Hold up there.' To Danny he said, 'The amp's only any good if it delivers what you want. Let's crank it up and see if we can get this thing singing, just the way you want before you start looking at pedals.'

Having wired up his Tokai, Danny admitted the sound, though good missed something.

Trevor soon revealed the amp's capabilities. Danny played whilst Trevor turned knobs, sometimes counter intuitively.

'We're getting somewhere now,' Danny said as the tone became reborn.

'Draw the sound out with your fingers,' Trevor said demonstrating how and where to hold the plectrum for best effect.

'There you are,' Trevor soon said on his way back to his room with coffee and cigarette. 'You can fetch him some pedals now Raphael.'

Soon Danny's guitar chords passed through any number of little boxes with footswitches on their way to the AC30. A myriad of sounds ranging from cool through psychedelic to insane blossomed.

Two hours later Danny eventually, to Calvin's relief, settled on three pedals including a Memory Man Echo to make him sound even more like The Edge. Raphael's boss Derek gave him a reasonable discount.

'Just need to get this lot back to Chingford,' Calvin said.

'I could see if my mum's Renault is available,' Raphael said. 'We're rehearsing tomorrow anyway yes?'

* * *

Slipping from the caffeine high that had carried her through the exam Amy withdrew to her bedroom where with door and curtains closed she flopped onto her bed. She tried getting comfy but a queasy worry churned her stomach and pressured her mind. She re-ran exam questions. _God I think I've failed,_ she thought as the previous night's missing sleep approached _._

She woke around tea time. Despite her exam concerns Amy felt ready to celebrate her official start to summer. After a light meal and shower she returned to her room gearing up to party whilst the lads, back from Hemel with Raphael, hung out in the lounge working on harmony parts to their songs.

Naked save knickers Amy stood before the mirror blow drying her hair when she heard a knock at the door.

'Hang on,' she said. Dropping the hairdryer she wrapped herself in a towel, 'Come in.'

'Excuse me,' Raphael said. 'I wanted to ask, how was zee exam?'

'Not great, pretty rubbish actually.'

'Oh,' he said closing the door. 'Are you okay?'

'Fine, I can only wait for the results now,' she said with resignation. Raising an eyebrow she wondered what he might be after.

Raphael explained that as a member of the band she'd be seeing more of him. She understood and after expressing fondness for each other they agreed to continue as friends.

'So what happened the other night isn't weird?' Raphael asked.

'Not so far as I'm concerned.'

Relieved Raphael said, 'That's good news. I'll leave you to change.'

'Okay,' Amy said but gestured for a hug.

Raphael held her then turned for the door but spun back whisking the towel from her before vanishing.

'Oi!' Amy screamed at the closing door covering herself.

'Sorry,' Raphael said from the other side, 'couldn't resist.'

* * *

Later the lads joined Amy and her friends' end-of-exam celebrations. Amongst the Hippodrome's flashing lights and booming music Danny, having let his hair down, ran up to Raphael. With beer and the excitement of having his new amp he forgot about the peculiar side of Raphael's character and said, 'Isn't this brilliant?'

Intoxicated by the mood Raphael agreed and gathered Amy and Calvin.

'Let's have a group photo.'

'Joanne,' Amy said handing her camera to her friend, 'take some snaps.'

The three lads huddled around Amy on the dance floor as Joanne and Alison clicked the shutter and shouted instructions.

'I feel so connected,' Calvin said.

'Me too,' Raphael agreed. 'We're like one little spirit.'

'One little spirit,' Danny declared pointing skyward as The Clash rocked the Casbah.

Immersed in his friends' embrace Calvin's euphoria soared as it had done being with Katherine. Though Raphael's incredible arrival couldn't displace her, he did feel her grip on his heart loosen.

## Saturday 25th June 1983

'Who's idea was it to rehearse at nine?' Danny said dropping onto the lounge's settee after the following morning's rehearsal.

'Night out was worth it,' Amy said from where she sat at the dining table.

'Easy for you to say. When d'you get up?'

'About half twelve.'

'At least you had a bed,' Raphael said to Danny. 'Try ze settee.'

'You're the youngest. You'd sleep on a washing line.'

'Actually I'm older than Amy.'

Calvin ignored him and thinking aloud said, 'Strange how some nights out are better than others.'

'It was great,' Danny said. 'Don't think we should have too many though. We need to work hard now so we can be happy in the future.'

'D'you know what that attitude will get you?' Raphael asked.

'A happy future?' Danny said not wanting to hear more pointless philosophy _._

'Most likely an unhappy one. You speak like happiness is limited.'

'Do I?' Danny said flatly.

'Choosing tomorrow's happiness at today's expense is a mind-set. Keep that up and tomorrow you'll be sacrificing that day's happiness for ze day after.'

Calvin understood his point. 'If you lived everyday like that you'd never be happy. I was reckoning true happiness would come once we became rock stars.'

'Ze time to be happy is now; especially as we can't know for certain rock stardom's ze key to happiness.' When nobody spoke he said, 'We have memories of ze past and can imagine ze future but we're only aware of now, so now's the time to be happy. And, misery isn't currency to buy happiness. It's limitless.'

In the silence Danny found himself largely agreeing but said, 'Sometimes you have to work hard now to get something later. Everything I have came from hard work.'

'I didn't say don't work hard. I've worked hard to be this good at drums, as you have to be great at guitar. But I enjoyed it as I hope you did.'

'Okay, you got me but what about the amp?'

'The free amp?' Calvin said.

'And you've got pedals, so a better sound than you dreamed plus money left over,' Amy said. She also wondered if Raphael had a point.

'Well—'

'Well nothing,' Raphael said before Danny could begin. 'Whether you're saving or spending, there's no reason to postpone happiness.'

'Maybe, but it's hard to believe coming from a single parent family. My mum slogged for everything. I slaved to get into poly and grafted saving for my guitar. I practiced sacrificing time with mates or girlfriends and still loads of guitarists are better than me.'

'I didn't know that but I appreciate it,' Raphael said.

'If we're to enjoy the big lights of musical success we'll all have to work harder.'

'We've got the right team though,' Calvin said nodding to include Amy.

'Ze lights are green for this rocking machine.'

'Agreed but let's make sure the snare of good times doesn't lead to the ruination of our dreams.'

'We've not come up with a band name yet,' Calvin said.

'True, we'll be gigging soon,' Danny said. 'You got any ideas Amy?'

'None you haven't already rejected.'

'Danny you said something last night,' Calvin said.

'Me? What did I say?'

'I can't remember.' Thinking back Calvin said, 'We were all together. Hang on, Raphael said it. Danny you repeated it.'

'Repeated what?'

'I don't know; something.'

## Thursday 30th June 1983

The following Thursday after a week of practicing drum parts on the shop's display kits and trying to remember what band name he could have shouted, Raphael drove to Chingford to find Calvin worrying about money and Danny pulling holes in his "Happiness-Now" theory.

Testily Raphael countered, 'If Calvin isn't happy _now_ because he has no job _now_ he should get a job _now_.'

'Fair enough,' Danny said surprising Raphael by giving up so soon. 'Amy's in Chelmsford with her parents for the summer, so her bed's yours when you need.'

The band of course needed more rehearsals but Calvin had previously convinced Raphael of his and Danny's own philosophy: _the only way to be good enough to gig, is to gig_.

'You must listen,' Raphael said reaching for Calvin's cassette player. In anticipation of future gigs he'd used the shop's synthesisers to produce intro music for them to walk on to.

After hearing a weirdly concocted soundscape Calvin said, 'It's brilliant.'

'Just think this already puts us ahead of all ze other bands who don't have intro music,' Raphael said.

Getting down to a home rehearsal they chose five songs to master guessing their first gigs would be twenty minute spots supporting more experienced amateur bands.

After two hours Danny said, 'It's coming together. To think, we never practiced this much with Brian – once a fortnight was his limit.'

Raphael agreed. 'Taboo practice but they don't bond or share ideas like we do.'

When they finished Calvin went for a shower leaving Danny and Raphael to chat.

As long as they kept the subject to music Danny found they got on fine. Soon their conversation deepened and Danny felt annoyed when the phone interrupted them.

'Are you getting that?' Raphael asked.

'I suppose.'

On the landing Danny picked up the phone but struggled to understand the caller's nervous voice. 'Hang on,' he said covering the receiver and shouting for Raphael.

Raphael appeared. 'What's up?'

'I can't understand this lady, I think she's French?'

'Surely not my mum.' Raphael took the receiver, 'Hallo, parlant Raphael.' _Pause,_ 'Oui, je parle Français. Qui parle, s'il vous plaît?' _Pause,_ 'Je crois comprendre, un moment s'il vous plaît. Je vais régler cette question.'

Raphael shook his head saying, 'It's a French operator. Someone called Katherine wants Calvin to accept a reverse charges call. Who is she?'

'The so called super babe who broke his heart. How did she get this number?'

Raphael shrugged. 'What shall I do?'

'I'll get him,' Danny said heading through the living room. 'Accept the charges.'

In seven steps Danny crossed the flat. He banged on the bathroom door, 'Cal.'

'Gizza second.'

'No time, emergency.'

Whumph, the door swung open. Calvin stood dripping in a towel looking serious.

'What?'

'Raphael's accepting a reverse charges call from France.' _No response._ 'It's Katherine.'

'Blimey,' he said looking away; then bounded through the flat in five steps.

'Hey Cal,' Danny called after him seeing Raphael hand over the receiver looking as confused as Calvin must have felt, 'you'd better ring your mum afterwards and tell her to re-mortgage the house.'

* * *

Danny waited in the living room with Raphael and told him of Calvin's French adventure.

When Calvin joined them he sighed. 'That came out the blue.'

'You okay?'

'Yeah.' He sat down.

'How'd she get this number?'

'Well,' Calvin said sounding reluctant, 'it didn't seem worth mentioning given her stubborn refusal to take any contact details. But, I played one last card.'

'Go on,' Raphael urged him.

Calvin's head shook with disbelief. 'Thing is, whilst she was on deck cruising us back to the marina an idea trickled through my crazy mind. I always carry a pen to write lyrics should inspiration strike.'

'And inspiration had struck?' Raphael grinned.

'Yeah. Firstly, I thought I'd leave some contact details where she'd find them later. I couldn't find any paper so used a ten Franc note. Secondly, I decided then and there to move back to London for the band so wrote this flat's details.'

'I wondered when you decided,' Danny said. 'So you didn't give her the ten Francs?'

'No she'd have ripped it up or, more likely kept it but scribbled out the details. Instead I discovered her luggage and zipped it in the pocket of a jacket I found.'

'Hoping she'd have calmed down when she found it?' Raphael said.

'Yeah, but it seemed such a longshot I didn't mention it to you guys.'

'Okay, but now she has does she like you?'

'Kinda looks that way.'

'Why was she so nasty?' Danny asked unconvinced.

'For sleeping with someone so quickly.'

'Wouldn't have bothered Amy,' Danny said before apologising to Raphael.

'Didn't bother me,' Calvin said smiling. 'But she was also afraid of pregnancy.'

'Didn't you rubber up?'

'Big mistake I know. Things might have been different if I had.'

'She's pregnant?' Raphael said sitting forwards.

'Fortunately not, she's confirmed that. But, she took a morning after pill.'

'A what?'

'It's a new drug. Something you take after the event. Apparently the mighty dollop of hormones can screw with moods. Reckons she knew at the time she was being nasty but couldn't help it.'

'Did she apologise?'

'Yes, most sincerely.'

With a sparkle in his eye Raphael said, 'She sounds alright to me.'

'Assuming she's not after something,' Danny said.

Calvin shook his head. 'She says she'll write. God I hope I've not cocked this up.'

'Cocked up? How?' Raphael asked.

'I was concerned how much the call was costing so I politely wrapped up on her.'

'That's great.' Raphael clapped his hands. 'Left her wanting more. What did you speak about?'

Calvin told him.

Raphael said, 'She'll definitely write. You talked positively, didn't mention your own money worries; then you ended the call.'

Not feeling quite so optimistic Danny asked, 'And how's she doing?'

'Enjoying the weather. But, like always she wouldn't say much about herself.'

'Has she told her friends about her situation?'

'Afraid not.'

'So the pretence lives on.'

'Yacht to yacht in a harbour of lies,' Calvin said.

'Hang on, if she doesn't have a fixed address, how you gonna reply?'

'Aw damn.' Calvin's expression gloomed. 'Hadn't thought of that.'

* * *

After chasing Calvin away that terrible morning weeks earlier Katherine had stayed in bed avoiding everyone until evening. Eventually a concerned Loretta boarded John's yacht and forced her to get up and eat. Despite knowing something significant had happened Loretta hadn't asked where Katherine had been the previous day. Instead she dragged her to the cinema to see a French subtitled, 'Risky Business'.

Katherine sat resting against Loretta watching Tom Cruise on the screen but thinking of Calvin. At some indeterminable point her dark veil lifted. Realising its passing a choir of happiness sang through her. She leant into Loretta enjoying the rest of the film remembering her night with Calvin fondly.

But, in the weeks following she came to miss Calvin. Beside happy memories lay an insolvable regret at having idiotically thrown him away.

Later she joined Elaine's parents' wedding anniversary celebrations. Aboard the ketch, the scorching day cooled to night. Chilled, Katherine returned to deck with her white jacket and a coffee. Not two seconds later though John, a master of notable entrances, climbed aboard, lost his footing and crashed into her sending coffee over the jacket's sleeve.

They'd both laughed and the next morning John offered to pay for the cleaning. Knowing she could stretch to a laundry bill she refused.

Crouching before a laundrette's washing machine she checked the jacket's zip pocket. Her fingers slipped in between fabric and touched something; a banknote. A welcome enough sight she whispered thanks to God and put it in her purse.

Ever keen to hold on to money Katherine let days pass before, whilst buying a birthday card, the lady in the gift shop asked, 'Qui est Calvin?'

'Calvin?' Katherine said as the smiling lady opened the ten Franc note. She stared, surprised when a tear blurred the handwriting.

'We have nice paper if you'd like to write to him.'

'I'll need it. Merci,' she said not understanding why she felt so strongly about someone she'd only met once.

* * *

Feeling lucky, yet scared Calvin would reject her as she'd rejected him, Katherine had approached a payphone. Showered and changed to look her best for the call she wanted to ask nothing of Calvin least of all for him to accept a reverse charges call. But without enough change from the ten Francs she perversely figured, _If it's meant to be it'll come good._

Preparing for worst case scenarios, Katherine spoke French to the operator but hadn't considered the potential language barrier with London.

Enveloped with frustration Katherine had almost shouted over the operator to the Englishman at the other end but miraculously someone French took over saving the call.

In the moments before Calvin's arrival Katherine bit her lip growing panicky for having asked him to accept the charges. The glass phone box reflected her fine figure but knowing beauty couldn't travel down the phone line she decided the best defence would be a strong offense.

* * *

After the call Calvin lay in bed wondering to what extent he'd given up on Katherine. He'd almost begun feeling normal again. Ridiculously she started the call by criticising the lunacy of hiding money in her jacket; she'd nearly sent it round the wash. He recalled how after her tirade she'd drawn breath. And love returned.

Katherine had ended the silence by asking after him. He'd smiled. Apparently she liked him. But as Katherine didn't realise how intensely she'd been missed, he didn't realise that she'd been thinking of his blue eyes every day and hadn't wanted their call to end.

## Friday 01st July 1983

The next day Raphael rose from Amy's bed to find an energised Calvin cleaning the flat.

'Morning,' Calvin said. 'Fancy helping me find a job today?'

'Of course.'

They trawled the sunny streets after Danny had left for his shift. They only found bar work but Calvin wanted his evenings free for when the band started gigging.

After another company turned them away Raphael said, 'You seem less concerned about money.'

'Something'll come up.'

'Very optimistic.'

'That's what a phone call from Katherine does for you.'

That evening the band rehearsed. Whilst setting up their gear Raphael said, 'There's a lot of terrible band names out there.'

'Why is that?' Calvin asked.

'Maybe because one member tells the band his got them a gig and so they settle on the first name that comes to mind,' Danny said.

Raphael nodded. 'I imagine saying band names to cool girls in bars.'

'Yeah?'

'Yeah, if I imagine she's still into me then ze name's good.'

Once underway sound bounced around the room as did the band. Calvin's plectrum dug deeper into the strings as their three voices blended.

'This is exactly what we should be aiming for,' Calvin said when the song ended. 'Our voices are like one.'

'One little spirit,' Raphael said.

'One little spirit,' Calvin shouted punching the air. 'That's it, the band name I've been trying to remember.'

'One little spirit?' Danny said. 'I think I like it. What d'you think Raphael?'

Raphael closed his eyes a moment. 'I'd be happy saying that to girls. Maybe drop ze _one_. _Little Spirit_ might be better.'

'Okay, let's try it,' Danny suggested, 'on a few girls I mean.'

'We can be in ze pubs before last orders.'

## Saturday 02nd July 1983

Refuelling on Frosties after Saturday's 11am rehearsal Danny said, 'So is it Little Spirit or One Little Spirit?'

'Little Spirit's an awesome name,' Calvin said.

'Ze girls I chatted to agree.'

A bump from downstairs interrupted them. Danny turned to the living room door. 'What's that?'

Stopping to listen they exchanged wary looks.

'Hello,' a female voice called upstairs.

Calvin stepped into the landing, 'Amy?'

'Guess who failed her exams?'

'Oh no,' Calvin said. 'Come in, sit down.'

Amy explained that her friends Alison and Joanne had exams to re-sit too. 'I'm not surprised really,' she said. 'But, I'll be going to the poly library every day.'

'I'll hold you to that,' Danny said.

'Yeah, well there's still time for some fun,' she said dipping into her handbag and producing an envelope which she passed to him.

'Ha, that's hilarious,' Danny said looking inside.

'Photos from the other night?' Calvin asked.

'Yeah, actually you look cool on this one mate.' Danny handed him the photo.

After twenty minutes of laughter Danny asked Amy what she thought of the band name Little Spirit.

'I love it.'

'Better than 10,000 Faces?' Raphael asked.

'Infinitely.'

'That's it sorted then,' Calvin said. 'Let's book gigs.'

Danny agreed. 'Amy's opinion is worth more than all of last night's girls.'

'There were girls last night?' Amy asked.

She sighed wondering what she'd missed. At least failing her exams meant being closer to Danny who looking at his watch said he had to work back that sick day he'd taken when getting his amp fixed.

'Now's ze time to be happy,' Raphael reminded him.

'Be happier when we've got a gig. Remember, get one for the end of the month then we've got a few weeks to get it together.'

'End of the month. Imagine ze gig is booked. We'll tell you where and when it is when you get back.'

Heading for the door Danny said, 'I'll tell my manager Liz we've got a record deal too.'

'May as well,' Raphael called after him. 'It's destiny.'

* * *

Looking up from the polished bar before the night's inevitable crush Danny saw two dejected faces approaching; one worn by Calvin the other by Raphael.

'Finding a gig take it out of you both?' Danny said. But despite the sarcasm he knew how arduous that task could be.

Calvin stared at the bar top. 'It's a thankless chore and we do not have a gig.'

Danny chewed his lip noting Raphael's serious. 'Problem?'

'Nope,' Calvin said still not looking him in the eye.

Danny flushed with anger. 'But there's no gig?'

'No gig?' Calvin looked at him before cracking into smile. 'We have three gigs.' He thrust a hand for Danny to shake. 'And,' he added before Danny could speak, 'I've got a job.'

'Congratulations mate. Where?'

'Where what, gig or job?'

'Either.'

'Well we were walking back from the Dog and Parrot when we spotted the sign in Proper Printing's window. They're looking for a part time member of staff. I thought why not?'

'Doing what?'

'Printing stuff I suppose. It's quite a physical job.'

'They hired you on the spot?'

'After asking a load of questions. I'm on four weeks trial starting Monday and, given the busiest time is the start of the week, I should be off Fridays.'

'You two'll both be off Fridays,' Danny said looking at Raphael.

'Convenient yes?' Raphael said.

'So anyway the gigs,' Calvin said. 'We started at The Dog and Parrot. Raphael booked an available support slot in two weeks' time. He told the manager we're local and better than Taboo Tortured.'

'Two weeks doesn't give us long, I thought we agreed end of the month?' Danny said.

'Hmm,' Calvin said pulling a face. 'Hopefully we'll be alright. Anyway, Raphael rang The Water Rats near Kings Cross. Normally they require a demo but he got us a support slot by convincing the promoter we have gig experience.'

'But we don't.' Danny said.

'But that gig's in three weeks. We'll have played Ze Dog and Parrot by then,' Raphael said.

'You call that experience - we'd better be cock-on by then.'

'Hmm,' Calvin said again.

'What about the third gig?'

'Ze third gig is ze first gig.'

'Come again; not The Dog and Parrot?'

'No, Ze Water Rats.'

'But—'

'I know,' Raphael said. 'I was hanging up when ze promoter said he had a cancelation and could we do it.'

'What, and you said yes?'

'Right.'

'When for?'

'Tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow!'

'Well I'd led him to believe we were experienced. It's okay, ze promoter knows it's short notice. All we have to do is turn up with a bit of gear and play.'

'We're not ready. Couldn't you have said no?'

'He caught me off guard. Maybe it's what we need to be good enough for Ze Dog and Parrot. After all you said you have to gig to be good enough to gig.'

'And there was me thinking we'd use the early Dog and Parrot gig to be good enough for The Water Rats,' Danny said.

Calvin and Raphael left him to finish his shift. Back at the flat leafing through Think and Grow Rich Raphael asked, 'What do you know of ze Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle?'

'Nothing really,' Calvin said thinking the question random. 'Atoms' electrons can exist in more than one place at one time?'

'Meaning?'

'I dunno.'

'Infinite realities or parallel universes,' Raphael said. 'My dad's a physicist. He's explained all this. Ze principle of Think and Grow Rich is to perceive a universe in which you are rich. Reality is, after all, only perception.'

'What do you mean – reality is perception?'

Looking from the living room to what had recently been Calvin's tidy kitchen he asked, 'Is ze kitchen tidy or messy?'

'It's messy.'

'How do you know?'

'It's got dirty plates everywhere.'

'Everywhere?'

'Well, there's one clean surface.'

'And If I asked Danny about ze kitchen's state?'

'He'd say it's fine.'

'Ah, he'd disagree,' Raphael said. 'So who's right?'

'I am, the kitchen's a disgrace.'

'With respect when I asked you, you said there were dirty plates everywhere. You didn't care to see ze clean surface, despite it being there.'

'True but—'

'My guess is Danny's attention would go passed ze mess straight to ze clean surface. Different perceptions make for different experiences of reality – possibly different universes.'

Calvin headed to the kitchen to wash up. 'Unbelievable.'

'Believe it,' Raphael said picking up the tea towel and joining him. 'Stay with me, I'm certain success and failure hinge on this point. We all see ze same stuff but interpret it differently – sometimes to the point of accusing others of being delusional.'

'But which person is the deluded one?'

'Precisely. And whether you believe this principle or not plenty of history's richest people do – even if they don't know ze finer details of multiple universe theory.'

'Seems to be true of the characters in Think and Grow Rich,' Calvin admitted.

'So,' Raphael said drying the pot Calvin passed him, 'if it's true we can think our way to rock stardom.'

'What are you suggesting?'

'Be a rock star now. Don't wait. When you walk, walk like you do when you wear your bass. People will respond to you differently.'

'Is that what you do?'

'Of course. Take ze night you saw Taboo Tortured. I was being a rock star. I visualised ze room was packed and everyone loved me, ze band and ze music. Ze fact that there wasn't so much love didn't stop me.'

'And Amy?'

'I expect to attract female attention.'

'What about me and Danny – Little Spirit?'

'I'd visualised a better band.'

'And you think Little Spirit is the band?'

'Almost sure of it. Everything happens for a reason and Taboo have had their marching orders.'

'The truth is I'm not yet a rock star.'

'And that belief could stop you becoming one. You're someone wanting to be a rock star _._ Stop wanting and start being. Truth and reality are not ze absolutes you think they are.'

'Are you suggesting I should simply tell myself I'm a rock star now?'

'That'd be a start but you wouldn't believe it. You can't trick ze universe. You have to believe it, feel it. Spend all ze time possible visualising ze stage, ze studio, interviews, looking at your fat bank account, soak up ze adoring screaming crowd, whatever it takes.'

'Okay.' Calvin stopped scrubbing to think. 'Doing dishes doesn't help but I guess what you're saying would feel good.'

'Check what's going on behind ze images. Make sure they're happening now and not just a future wish.'

'Did you visualise success with Taboo Tortured?'

'Not so much. You can't change people. It's up to them to change. Taboo were a training vehicle to something better.'

'Danny'll never buy this.'

'He already has in his own way. He sees his ultimate destiny. Today helped though when we told him a gig was booked before we'd arranged one. Then we proved it by booking not one but three. There's determination in him; he knows he's good for it.'

'You're probably right,' Calvin said.

'It's you I'm concerned about.'

'Me – why?'

'Danny explained about your dad. I watch you. I see you wanting ze rock star dream but then I see you doubt it and I'm concerned there's a voice in your head telling you there's always Coventry if this doesn't work. You're a rock star on one hand and a graduate with a future in Coventry on ze other.'

When Calvin only nodded Raphael continued. 'You've got ze print job now so your basic needs will be met. Please for me and Danny forget your dad's advice and Coventry; give us a hundred percent at least until ze twelve months are up. Be always ze person I see the moment you wear your bass.'

Again Calvin nodded. He knew Danny could be a worrier and usually pessimism would counter the optimism he'd shown in recruiting Raphael. But Raphael had identified that the man had no interest or plan to be anything other than a rock star.

## Sunday 03rd July 1983

At 10am the following morning Danny asked Raphael, 'Got some reading to do?'

'Ze people on ze pages are our imaginary audience. Make sure you impress them.'

He'd visited a newsagent on the way to rehearsal and now spread the pages of two newspapers around Calvin and Danny's feet.

'Okay,' Danny said. 'What's everyone's thought on a real audience – for tonight I mean?'

'We haven't got one,' Calvin said laughing maniacally. 'But given we don't know how good we'll be maybe that's a good thing.'

'I don't know mate,' Danny said. 'We're billed as an established band. Irrespective of what the promoter might have said about short notice he'll judge us on door take and cash in the till more than musical talent.'

'True,' Calvin said. 'We'll get Amy and as many other people along.'

Raphael's intro music sounded through the PA. The band performed to each other and the newspaper faces on the floor. Danny, lucky enough to have the bare breasted Sam Fox gazing at him, held eye contact promising to connect with whatever audience they might have as he'd seen Raphael do with Taboo Tortured.

* * *

Told to arrive before 7pm Little Spirit headed into The Water Rats with minimum gear before six. On stage the headline band soundchecked looking and sounding okay. Scanning the pub the lads guessed the second band had yet to arrive.

When the sound-guy had a moment he asked, 'Little Spirit?'

'That's us,' Danny said.

'Nice and early. I'm Stosh. We'll get you soundchecked once we've done the second band, whenever they show.'

'Stosh, what a cool name,' Raphael said.

Twenty minutes later Band-2 arrived. Overweight and dressed geekishly Raphael guessed they'd not go far. Their soundcheck did no more to impress him.

'Okay you're up guys,' Stosh said. Unlike some gigs Stosh afforded them time to get comfortable on stage. With levels balanced Raphael noted Danny's guitar sound.

As if reading his mind Danny said, 'Not as good as the Vox is it? It'll come to the next gig.'

Not long after soundchecking Amy turned up with Alison and Joanne.

'Which band are you here for?' a guy smoking and chewing gum asked as they crossed the threshold.

'We're all here for Little Spirit,' Amy said proudly though unsure why he'd asked given the free admission.

Turning a corner Amy felt a rush of nervous excitement seeing the stage. Despite only five stage lights the drum kit sparkled. She spied Calvin and Danny's guitars leaning against amps waiting to be played and wondered how the lads would be feeling.

'Amy,' Raphael called spotting her first. Greeted with a hug she knew Raphael would be eying her skimpily dressed friends over her shoulder. She hugged Danny ignoring that he too might be doing the same though less obviously than Raphael who turned on the charm without delay.

'Stosh,' Calvin said half an hour later when the soundman appeared at their table.

'Ready when you are.'

'Cheers,' Danny said. 'We'll do a last tune-up.'

Amy looked around the half-filled room. Just like when they'd seen Taboo Tortured the audience largely consisted of other bands and their girlfriends. The Little Spirit's contribution so far numbered three. Amy wished her friends luck.

Facing the front she watched Danny pick up his guitar. An acknowledgement from Raphael behind his drums signalled the jukebox to fade. A cacophony of weird noises poured from the speakers replacing AC/DC's _Big Balls_. Hearing the Little Spirit intro music for the first time Amy pictured ponderous sludge evolving, until percussive rhythm picked up the tempo. Danny, standing back and right of Raphael appeared relaxed but, left of the smug looking drummer stood Calvin looking terrified. She'd seen him looking nervous before gigs in the past but seeing his skin appear ashen, feared he'd be too scared to play.

Beside the quaking bass player, Raphael raised a hand, drumstick twirling. Without warning sticks flew crashing into cymbals. Danny and Calvin leapt towards the ceiling in an explosion of sound. Amy gasped seeing Danny and Calvin teleport to the front of the stage. Well practiced both lads bore eyes into the Spartan audience. Amy gazed as Danny looked her in the face before his attention shifted to her friends. She caught his last look as she grinned back at his smoky smile.

Panning to the other side she watched Calvin looking as though his intensity and thumping bass would knock a hole through the back wall. Swapping sides of the stage Calvin entertained Amy and friends with looks she wouldn't have recognised from the flatmate who tidied up after himself and who moments earlier had looked so scared. Looking Danny's equal, distinctive and amazingly right for the job, Calvin set Amy and friends' adrenalin racing.

As Calvin lifted his gaze above Amy to the rest of the audience Amy's attention shot to Raphael who looked every bit as good as he had when she'd first seen him with Taboo Tortured just weeks earlier.

Danny and Calvin resumed their positions before Calvin prowled his way to the drums sharing a moment with Raphael. Then spinning he stepped back to his mic so all three could break into _Life in the Sunshine_ , a new song full of speed and excitement juxtaposed with understated laid back vocals.

After the first song Amy and friends cheered feeling exposed as their voices stood alone in the still under populated room. Looking round she saw people drifting in but it seemed few had been so moved by Little Spirit's first attempt.

Appearing undeterred, Calvin with hands behind his head and guitar swinging crotch-high came forward to introduce Little Spirit whilst Danny and Raphael provided a backdrop of sound comprising of muted guitar and cymbal rhythms before bursting into the second song.

Amy knew having seen 10,000 Faces with other amateur bands in dirty rock clubs that by the time they closed their set the audience had usually lost interest and would be ready for the next act. Little Spirit managed to keep Sunday's audience progressively more hooked as the walk-up crowd diluted the reserve of the subsequent bands and their possies. At the end of their twenty minute set each audience member had received personal acknowledgement from each band member. The atmosphere had livened up and Amy almost expected requests for encores.

On stage Danny and Calvin unplugged their guitars and helped Raphael pack away cymbals.

'My god that went well,' Raphael said once they'd moved to the side of the stage.

'I know,' Calvin said with unmistakable excitement. 'We were fantastic.'

'What do you think?' Raphael asked Danny play-punching his shoulder. 'Are we ze best band in London?'

Fighting the urge to burst with enthusiasm he agreed, 'We couldn't have wished for a better first gig.' But he turned from them preferring to dam his flowing elation until he'd spoken with the management. He knew they'd done well but suspected they'd lost perspective of how great they'd actually been.

Preparing for the next band Stosh spotted him and said, 'Well done, I really enjoyed that.'

Looking but finding no cracks of insincerity Danny thanked him saying, 'You did a fine job; the sound was crystal on stage.'

'It helps doesn't it? You're back here again shortly aren't you?'

'Yeah.'

'You'll sound better still then. Was that your first gig?'

_Was it that obvious?_ Danny thought. Stretching the truth he said, 'First one with Raphael on kit.'

'He was good, you all were.'

Danny let him continue his work. The promoter approached him next.

'You did alright,' he said avoiding eye contact. 'Expected a few more people though.' Danny looked around the now three-quarter full room but the guy said, 'Door count says only ten of this lot are yours.'

_I'm surprised it was that many,_ Danny thought having only spotted two additional poly friends of Calvin's. Worrying that the next gig might get pulled Danny said, 'Yeah, sorry about that it was a bit short notice and given the students have broken up ... We'll have loads more next time.'

'I'd appreciate that. You're lucky. There's a good turnout for a Sunday and they're drinking too. Normally I expect bands to bring at least twenty people, fifteen minimum.' He turned to leave but added, 'Nice harmonies. I'll see you soon.'

Danny expelled a sigh of relief but had a nagging sense that Little Spirit had fluked the show getting through on nervous energy.

## Tuesday 05th July 1983

Though Amy asked, Calvin hadn't said much about the first day at his new job. In fact he'd been quiet generally. On Tuesday morning Amy lay in bed until she heard him click the front door shut. She didn't notice the gentle thump at the bottom of the stairs minutes later.

She revised until 2pm before deciding she should get some fresh air and groceries. Only when she returned did she notice the morning's mail delivery that both she and Danny had failed to notice. Balancing the groceries on her knee she stooped picking it up. Amongst the bills one letter caught her eye. French stamped and addressed to Calvin in beautiful handwriting she guessed by its weight it'd be long.

She stared at the envelope delighted for Calvin but with a twinge of jealousy. She'd heard all about his ten Franc note and the phone call that followed. Visualising Katherine (beautiful beyond words, priding herself on not lying down at the first compliment a man showed her) she considered how easily Calvin's heart had been won. She reckoned she'd love to be in Katherine's shoes; treated like a princess despite having no actual wealth.

Upstairs she placed the letter on Calvin's pillow.

In her room she lay cuddling the teddy she'd owned since aged eight. _I'm happy aren't I?_ _I study, enjoy friends and get drunk. What more could a girl want?_ Tormented by feelings for Danny the quiet voice of Amy's intuition told her to expect more from life and to let Danny go. Not wanting to hear the last bit she got up to settle back to revising.

Later she heard the sound of Calvin's key in the door she jumped to meet him.

'Wow,' he said startled seeing her at the top of the stairs, 'you nearly gave me a heart attack.'

'Sorry love,' she said positioning herself so as to shepherd him towards his room. 'How was work?'

'Ok. I got through it.' Unable to hide her smile she almost pushed him into his bedroom. Seeing what lay on his pillow Calvin stopped in his tracks. Amy watched him pick the envelope up and examine it before looking at her.

'She wrote.'

'She did. Aren't you going to open it?' she asked despite sensing his desire for privacy.

As if reluctant to cause damage to the envelope, Calvin broke the seal and pulled out the pages. 'There's a lot to read. Both sides.'

'No photos?'

'Afraid not.'

'Disappointing,' Amy tutted before leaving him to read.

* * *

Calvin only reappeared after Danny had come back from his shift.

'Amy says you got a letter,' Danny said.

'I know. Brill eh?' he said taking the armchair next to Danny and Amy on the settee.

'So it's all good?' Amy asked.

'It is, but it's just a letter.'

'So she's not moving to England?'

Calvin put his finger through a hole in the chair's arm. 'Nah, somehow I don't see that happening.'

'You're gonna write back though?'

'Of course – already have.'

'So there is a return address?' Danny asked.

'Yup, a gift shop.'

'Ingenious.'

Making her way to her room Amy said, 'I'll give you a couple of photos from the Hippodrome to send.'

* * *

Later that night finding herself alone with Danny, Amy said, 'You've not had a girlfriend for a while.'

'Don't really want one right now,' he said not shifting his attention from the TV. 'Why d'you mention it?'

'I'd like a boyfriend.'

'Amy you have loads of boyfriends.'

'Oh, I hate it when you say things like that.'

'Sorry.' He shook his head.

'I haven't brought anyone back here or gone back to anyone's house since—'

'I know, I'm sorry.' He turned from the TV.

'And he was a mistake.'

'Well, I wouldn't say—'

'I'm going to bed,' Amy said getting to her feet.

'Sit down,' Danny snapped surprising them both. Amy sat. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I don't know why you're so touchy.'

Nobody spoke until finally Amy said, 'Okay, thank you.'

'There are loads of guys out there that would love to be your boyfriend.'

'Oh sure there are,' Amy laughed bitterly.

'Yeah, there are, I've seen the way boys look at you.'

'Yeah me too – like I'd be a five minute ego boost. I'm sick of it.'

Still not understanding Danny said, 'Amy, you're wonderful. I'm so lucky to have you as a friend.'

'Okay,' she said once again deflated by Danny's use of the word _friend_. 'Again, thank you, I'll go to bed now if that's okay.'

She went to him for a hug and left him with his guitar and pad of paper where he'd written, _The Only Time is Now._

Closing the door to her room Amy criticised her observation of boys recognising she used them as five minute ego boosts not the other way round as she'd just suggested. Undressing and cursing her reflection she thought, _Five minutes might be fine but if I were a boy I wouldn't want to wake up with that body every day. No wonder Danny draws the line at friends._

* * *

Katherine's letter to Calvin had asked questions. Given that he'd started a new job and gigged The Water Rats, Calvin felt he had lots to say. He went to bed to reread what he'd written. Full of crossings out and rephrased questions and sentences he rewrote it trying to end the letter as neatly as he'd begun.

He kept his questions to her easy going, respecting her private nature and hoped the enclosed photos would prompt her to include photos of herself should she reply.

## Friday 8th July 1983

Days later Katherine sat alone on the quay where she'd brought Calvin. Her fingers trembled as she opened the letter and observed neat but unmistakably male handwriting that deteriorated slightly towards the end but re-neatened for the final paragraphs. _He must've written as much as I did_ , she thought, counting the pages.

Though dying to read, she first cupped a hand shading the photos from the sun's glare. In the first picture she recognised Calvin, happy and full of colour. She sighed finding he looked better than she'd remembered. After reading the letter she returned to the photos guessing the tall lad with Calvin would be Danny and the cheeky faced one Raphael. The second photo included a blonde, she guessed must be Amy. She thought her pretty despite the wrong makeup and bad dress. Focusing on the two images she couldn't help but respond to the joyful energy captured in the stills.

She reread the letter relishing noteworthy sentiments; savouring the vigour of Little Spirit's short evolution.

As Katherine leant back against baking concrete her mind composed the reply that might even make that day's post. A giggle escaped as she considered the sweet but innocent absurdity of Calvin's invitation to Little Spirit's upcoming gigs.

* * *

Danny stood by his mic in that night's rehearsal with his guitar singing as passionately as him and his bandmates.

After another pass of _Life in the Sunshine_ Calvin said, 'You look pensive. Everything all right?'

Danny nodded. 'It's sounding great.'

'But?'

'I haven't told you that The Water Rats' promoter nearly pulled the second gig.'

Calvin and Raphael looked to each other their faces stunned.

'Why?'

'On account of us bringing so few people.'

'But the room was nearly full before we finished,' Raphael said.

'In spite of us, not because of us. They know who turned up for what band you know.'

Calvin said, 'I suppose five names was quite pathetic.'

'It wasn't five; it was ten.'

Calvin and Raphael looked at each other. 'Ten?'

'Presumably some audience members hadn't come to see one band over another so when asked chose us.'

'Hopefully some of those people are Little Spirit fans now,' Raphael said. 'Perhaps they'll come to ze next gig.'

'Maybe,' Danny said not feeling so optimistic. 'We'll need posters because the promoter's expecting at least twenty people.'

'Okay, I'll sort out posters at work,' Calvin said. 'With some luck we'll have better numbers at The Dog and Parrot. Hopefully some of them'll get along to the next Water Rats gig.'

## Saturday 16th July 1983

Downstairs in The Dog and Parrot's main bar Calvin, buoyed by a second letter from Katherine, spoke to Kev the manager who asked in his Geordie accent, 'You got many coming down tonight like?'

'Yeah, we've plastered posters all over Chingford.' He motioned behind him adding, 'Danny's got some family coming along too.'

Joining in Raphael said, 'Plus Amy's postered up ze poly.'

'Who's Amy, that bird you pulled last time you was here?'

'They're just friends now,' Danny said.

Little Spirit made their way to the band room upstairs and waited where Amy and Raphael had flirted on their first visit.

Calvin watched a skinny cigarette yellowed soundman prop his balding head on his hand. Turning knobs the shabby sound system reflected the venue's comparative size and laid back feel. He did a good enough job and headliners, The Babyloves, sounded fine.

When The Babyloves left the stage the soundman nodded and Little Spirit advanced with their gear. Setting his amp in front of the other guitarist's unavoidably encroached on Danny's performance space. Like at The Water Rats, Calvin took stage left in order to hear Raphael's grooving hi-hats. Above them three stage lights dangled precariously from exposed wires.

Two hours later Amy bumbled through the door with Alison, Joanne and other friends. Seeing Danny with his mum she tugged her frayed denim skirt to a respectable length. Leaving her knot of friends at the bar she approached Danny.

He broke off a conversation with a towering man and greeted her. 'This is Uncle Nick and you've met my mum before.'

'Nice to see you again Veronica,' Amy said smiling after greeting Uncle Nick. Wanting to create the best impression she decided she'd avoid alcohol. Winning Veronica might help winning Danny.

* * *

Danny left Amy with his mum and dragged the band onto the muggy street for a bonding session.

Though Calvin would never admit it he felt nervousness rising. He'd have never got on stage but for his cousin's encouragement. Geoff, a doorman by profession, advised him never to let fear stop him doing anything stating, _Crapping yourself figuratively or literally is no excuse for avoiding what must be done._ Calvin had forged Geoff's advice into the phrase, _If you can't do something with confidence do it without confidence._

Nevertheless Calvin enviously watched Raphael joke around, stretching muscles whilst Danny revved himself up.

'Time to rock,' Raphael said heading for the stairs.

Calvin let his bandmates lead the way. He trudged up the stairs after them feeling his blood leaden. Almost breathless at the top of the stairs he saw Danny signal the barman who'd turn the jukebox off after whatever current track finished.

'You alright mate?' Danny asked as they waited off stage.

'Yeah mate,' Calvin lied holding his nerve together _._

As the jukebox faded Raphael made for his drums and started the intro tape. Danny picked up his guitar. Calvin reaching his weighty Musicman heaved the strap over his head with trembling muscles.

Facing the audience all but the first song's initial chords left Calvin's memory. _First chord is G,_ he thought gripping the neck and fingering the third fret of the E-string. _G to C to D, nothing could be easier,_ he tried convincing himself.

With tunnel vision he turned to face Raphael. His knees almost buckling as he dipped preparing for take-off. His legs didn't want to jump.

As Raphael's sticks sliced the air Calvin powered against his reluctance. Picking a spot on the stage he watched it diminish with lift-off and enlarge again as his feet touched down with cymbals crashing his eardrums. He struck _G_ and behind him bass whumped wonderfully from the amp surrounding him and vibrating his kidneys.

From G he found _C_ and _D._ Without thought his fingers continued past _F_ and _Bb._ Glancing right he looked into Danny's confident face and gained more strength; his nervousness already way behind him. They both nodded. _Time to swap sides._

At his drums, Raphael enjoyed visualising bigger uproarious audiences but noticed the temperature rise as people engaged in the never-before-heard Little Spirit music. Unlike previous bands Calvin and Danny freed him to play drum parts as his spirit would; nothing beat seeing the faces of audience members communicating their understanding of his art.

At the end of the set Danny thanked the audience, venue's management and The Babyloves before unplugging his guitar and leaving the stage. He stopped. It may only have been Amy and friends but neither he nor Calvin or Raphael could ignore the room's encore requests. 'One more?' Danny said.

Back on stage Calvin thanked everyone. 'Here's a new one – not quite ready but we'd love to know what you think. Here's, _Only When it's Saturday.'_

Everyone stayed until after The Babyloves' set when Kev began clearing the room of people.

After Danny's mum and uncle had left, Amy hit the vodkas. 'We'll head to the Hippodrome and see you there shortly?' she said to Danny.

'Probably,' Danny said undecidedly.

'Ah, come on,' Raphael said. 'It's just what we need.'

'Well you can still go. Anyway, we've got to get the gear back to the flat first.'

* * *

Back in the flat seeing Calvin put the kettle on Raphael said, 'So it's just me going out?'

'Cup of tea first,' Danny said.

Guessing they'd not move again Raphael said, 'Not me. I'll leave you two wusses to it. I'm off to crack into Joanne.'

'Don't be upsetting Amy mate.'

'Trust me Danny. Amy's fine,' Raphael said heading for the door.

An hour later the lads still chattered on. 'Kev was well pleased with the door take,' Danny said.

'Twenty-five on a first gig's pretty good for a room that size.'

'We'll definitely get to play there again.'

'Helped having our mates from your pub along.'

'Amy did great though.'

'Our best fan.'

Changing the subject Danny said, 'I had a moment with Alison tonight.'

'Yeah? She's nice. You should be with her now.'

'Nah, band first, girls second. Don't want her getting the wrong idea.'

'A bit of fun wouldn't hurt.'

'Maybe next time,' Danny said mulling the thought over.

'Amy's slowed down recently.'

'I know, but have you noticed how tetchy she gets about it?'

No sooner had her name been mentioned than they heard the front door open and slam. Calvin looked at Danny worried when he heard Amy's bedroom door bang shut.

'I'll go,' Calvin said.

In the corridor he saw no light shining around her door.

He tapped and turned the handle, 'Amy?'

'Leave me alone.' Her voice sounded muffled.

'Sweetheart, we're concerned.'

'I'm okay.'

'You're crying.' Calvin crept towards the bed.

'I'm okay. Leave me alone.' Calvin knew she meant it but nevertheless reached into the sepulchral darkeness to stroke her hair.

She recoiled. 'Calvin!'

'Okay,' he said. 'It's you're call. I'll just be next door. Come and see me or Danny just as soon as you want.'

'Thanks, I'll be alright I promise.'

'Night night.' He blew a kiss as he backed out the room.

'Calvin?' she whispered before the door pulled to. 'Do me a favour and don't make a big deal of this to Danny. It's just a little upset, that's all.'

'Sure. I'll tell him you've a migraine.'

## Friday 22th July 1983

True to his word Calvin didn't tell Danny of Amy's upset if for no other reason than he didn't know the cause. He spoke to Raphael during the following week casually asking whether she'd seemed okay at the Hippodrome. He had no idea having left almost immediately with Joanne, and Alison sulking because Danny hadn't turned up.

Happily Calvin noticed after a few days she seemed to be back to normal and studying harder than ever.

The following Friday morning Raphael arrived at the flat with his four-track and spare headphones. Danny had taken the day off work. They needed to book more gigs given that next day's Water Rats would be their last.

The time to record a demo had arrived. Armed with TDK tapes, Little Spirit spent eight hours in the rehearsal room.

Raphael took charge. Hours went by recording drums. Mics went up, came down and moved around before he attempted to record. 'I just hope ze mix of drums and percussion is right,' he said listening back to what he'd recorded.

Calvin's bass amp failed to deliver so they borrowed one from Mark. Danny's guitar sound hit home instantly. With bass and guitar recorded the boys took a break. Afterwards they finished the day singing around a single microphone.

By 6pm Little Spirit had returned to the flat. Though mentally tired their mood stayed high as Amy had developed some great stage photos from the previous gig. Though the majority featured Danny, one of Calvin made a fantastic action shot. Caught mid-air, plectrum arm stretching behind, left leg kicked out Calvin wondered about sending it to Katherine but chose another couple of modest arty ones instead.

'She better look after them,' Danny warned. 'They'll be worth something soon.'

## Saturday 23rd July 1983

The next day Little Spirit rehearsed for that evening's gig. During a break Danny said, 'I hope the door count's high enough.'

'Saturdays should be busier than Sundays,' Raphael said.

'Yeah, but we can't rely on the walk up crowd.'

'We could do,' Calvin said.

'What d'you mean?'

'Well last time some said they'd come to see us even though they didn't know us. We could hang around outside and anyone heading in we ask which band they're supporting. If they don't know or haven't a preference we ask them to name us.'

After a moment's thought Danny grinned saying, 'Sounds like a ball-ache, but that'd surely help.'

'Worth it if it saves us getting blacklisted by ze venue.'

* * *

That evening after soundchecking the band stood outside chatting in the evening heat greeting those they felt able to approach. Soon Amy and her friends arrived helping the count as they went in. Raphael saw Alison hold Danny's gaze and raised a mischievous eyebrow.

'Joanne giving you the cold shoulder?' Danny asked steering Raphael's train of thought.

'Cool, not cold. We're done though.'

* * *

Little Spirit took the stage; the first band of three. The room started with a good number and continued filling throughout their set. Calvin and Danny joked and encouraged audience involvement.

After their set and with no cries or time for encores Little Spirit exited the stage. Stosh approached Danny. 'Another tight set. I'm a fan.'

'Really? Cheers,' Danny said making way for the next band. 'Just hope we had enough people to keep the promoter happy.'

'You'll be alright. Hey, have you played The King's Head in Putney Bridge?'

'Not yet,' Danny said without letting on that he hadn't even heard of it.

'I occasionally do the sound there too. Give them a ring and tell them I recommended you. In fact,' he said reaching to his pocket, 'take a card it's got my number on it just in case.'

'Cheers Stosh we'll do that.'

'Pleasure.' Motioning over Danny's shoulder he said. 'Look out here's the boss.'

Danny jumped down from the stage. The promoter didn't look him in the eye.

'Well done, you did good tonight.'

'Thanks.'

'Twenty people on the door. Any more and you'd get a share of the take.' He then looked away adding, 'Last time I might have seemed, you know, harsh. Stosh said afterwards you got something a bit special. He's right I enjoyed your set. Call me Monday; see if we can't sort something out for the next few months.'

Amy had been enjoying herself but saw Danny step outside accompanied by Alison and guessed she'd aroused his interest. The shock smarted her eyes and she knew they'd be bloodshot. Sitting at a table in front of the stage she purposely dropped her lipstick. Under the table she cursed the day she'd met Danny.

Above the table the next band kicked out dance rhythms. A hand firmly rested on Amy's back.

'Let's dance,' Raphael commanded. Leading her from the table he held her without looking at her face.

## Monday 25th July 1983

After the weekend Raphael took the recorded demos to work. During the quiet moments his boss Derek helped him process the drum and vocal tracks. Derek said the recordings demonstrated the band's capabilities but for all their hard work Raphael found the result disappointing.

At home that evening he prepared twenty cassettes of the five recorded songs. In Chingford, Danny utilised one of Amy's photos creating the artwork for Calvin who produced inlay cards at Proper Printing.

That night, despite generally needing a demo to book gigs, Calvin rang Raphael saying Danny had secured a gig at The King's Head and more gigs at The Water Rats.

## Thursday 28th July 1983

Raphael drove the demo tapes to Chingford after work Thursday. Calvin surprised him by loving it.

'Bass is a bit low,' Danny said.

'I could turn it up but then ze guitar would be too loud.'

'Percussion's a bit much isn't it?

'If I turn it down ze drums get quieter. Remember we're limited by four tracks. Proper studios have thirty-two or more.

Not wishing to argue Danny didn't mention that The Beatles' mixes sounded fine on four-track.

## Saturday 13th August 1983

A fortnight passed and the band prepared to gig The King's Head. When they arrived Stosh appeared from behind the mixing desk.

Danny said, 'Calvin told me the venue was superb when he dropped the posters off.'

'The stage is just what you guys need.'

'It's big alright. What's the drill?'

'Right there's a small door charge and head count.'

'Okay, hopefully we'll be alright,' Danny said hiding any stress.

'Well The Gods of Steal are headlining. They're a covers band who've been before so there'll be a few in. I've a feeling you'll be fine anyway.'

Outside, after soundchecking the guys stood by the venue's doors ensuring people approaching from either direction received greeting. Raphael's work colleagues Derek and Trevor turned up and joined them on the street.

Danny hadn't seen Alison since the last gig and couldn't see her when Amy arrived.

'It's too close to re-sits,' Amy smirked. Un-phased Danny felt Joanne's attention weighing more to him than Raphael. For a moment he considered an alternative conquest but didn't fancy Raphael's cast offs.

'Hi guys,' Raphael said hailing two unsuspecting couples. 'You coming in?'

'Sure are,' one of the girls said.

'Do us a favour say you're here for Little Spirit,' Calvin called after them.

'We are here for Little Spirit,' she said disappearing inside.

Twice more that happened. The lads exchanged glances not knowing how this could be. 'Maybe posters work,' Calvin said.

When the time to play arrived Danny and Calvin jumped around the stage like The Police. The good fun gig won the appreciation of Derek who said, 'You should get yourselves properly recorded.'

'Thought you said ze demo was okay?' Raphael said.

'Good enough to get gigs, sure but you guys are way better than that demo. I had no idea.'

'We'll record when we find ze money.'

When the promoter approached, Danny asked, 'How did we do?'

'Good,' he said offering two tenners. 'Not a bad door take.'

'Twenty quid. Fantastic,' he said taking the money.

'We'll speak again. It'll be good to get you back here in a few weeks.'

When Danny caught up with Calvin he heard him say to Stosh, 'We wondered what was going on.'

'What's going on?' Danny asked butting in.

'Stosh invited his mates round. That explains those couples.'

'Yeah? Cheers Stosh that's helped keep the promoter happy.'

'So you'll be back here again,' Stosh said. 'You didn't believe me when I said I was a fan.'

The feel altered when The Rods of Steel took to the stage. Raw and unkempt their appeal affected most but missed Danny. However he watched the stage and the guitarist who stood godlike with Gibson guitar hanging low. He leaned back as if supported by the music. Danny stood before the stage emulating the wide foot stance and guitar hold. _Something to work on,_ he thought.

## Friday 9th September 1983

For the next month Little Spirit gigged whenever possible. The demo tapes got them gigs whilst rehearsals strengthened performance quality ensuring invitations back. They added new songs and though they didn't headline they did creep up the play order.

Letters flew to and from Katherine. Unhappily for Calvin each received letter lacked photos. Even without pictures or hope of seeing her, their penned relationship became one of support and value.

Amy re-sat her exams and thankfully passed them. The flatmates celebrated but Amy didn't drink and halted the party without a visit to the Hippodrome.

Amy enrolled for her degree's final year before Freshers' Week.

Hurrying back to the flat she bound through the door and found Raphael with Calvin. 'You haven't got a gig this Monday have you?' she asked the pair.

'No,' Calvin said.

'Good, because I've said you'll play the refectory in the poly's union. Freshers' Week so it'll be a hoot.'

'Lots of girls away from home for ze first time,' Raphael said.

## Monday 12th September 1983

Having plastered the poly with posters the band appeared in the refectory on Monday where large wooden boxes had been laid to makeshift a stage. With erected PA and lights it became a credible venue.

Amy arrived with friends saying, 'I know you've played here as 10,000 Faces but tonight will be rammed.'

'The biggest audience yet?' Danny asked.

'Certainly.'

They learned they'd be the third of four bands playing and there'd be no head count. The final, rather arrogant band, hadn't wanted to share their equipment meaning Little Spirit would have to use all their own gear.

During the soundcheck Danny casually said, 'Just noticed, we've all got black instruments.'

'Brings a bit more uniformity to us,' Raphael said straightening his drums.

'Looks cool,' Calvin said stepping off the stage seeing what the audience would.

Later the first two bands played but did nothing to warm up the audience who chattered away over the background entertainment. Danny gathered the lads for their pre-gig get-together.

'Guys, there's a room stuffed full of people and most of them have their backs to the stage. People are wandering in and out all the time.'

'Right. We must grab their attention,' Raphael said. After a moment he added, 'How do we do that?'

Thinking Danny said, 'Our leads are pretty long. We could go out and stand on a few tables. It's a bit naughty so might shock the mob.'

'Brings us closer to them,' Calvin said.

'Exactly.'

'What about me?' Raphael asked.

'You'll have the entire stage to yourself – what more could you want?'

The forming strategy put Calvin in line of his biggest challenge. At show time he saw from the stage, with the exception of Amy's gang and old poly friends, a two-hundred strong rabble ignoring the intro piece and not caring about them. Danny looked at Calvin and rolled his eyes.

In the audience Amy looked nervous, Joanne looked confused. Taking a slow breath Calvin's mind fogged with nerves. He readied himself for the _G_ chord. Despite fear he had to be courageous. _Stay with it, you know what to do._

On Danny's cue the three 'shushed' into their mics. Conversations ceased and faces turned. Raphael's clicking sticks sounded dreamlike to Calvin. _Now's the time._ Calling on strength deep within he shouted, 'SHUT UP AND LISTEN!'

Little Spirit rocketed into the music.

Raphael watched the gob smacked crowd as Calvin and Danny strode off stage over chairs and onto the nearest tables where they stamped, amazing the shocked kids. Leaping back they returned to their mics for the singing.

Catching Amy and Joanne's eyes Raphael's smile said, _What else did you expect?_

With crowd hooked Little Spirit laughed with them between songs and cut dead any hecklers before finally handing the stage to the headline band who promptly lost the audience. By the end of their first chorus they had no hope of re-taming the unruly horde.

During debriefing the band congratulated each other on their victorious command of the audience. Raphael said, 'It's just like I read in Ze Crowd'

'They really do think as one,' Calvin agreed.

Clapping his hands together Raphael said, 'If we stay this positive everything we touch will turn to gold.'

'Mate,' Danny said, 'there's no substitute for hard work.'

Exasperated he would have said more but a portly lady appeared saying, 'Little Spirit?'

'Yes.'

'I'm the entertainment manageress. That was fantastic.'

'Thanks.'

'You shamelessly forced the crowd into respecting you. You must play the main hall as first support to Bananarama this Friday.'

'Wow,' Danny said his face brightening but suddenly crumpling with concern.

Guessing the reason Calvin overrode anything he might be about to say, 'Great, we'll do it.'

'You're wonderful. Right then, I'll place you before Men Without Hats. It'll be a great night.'

After giving full details she flounced off. Danny said, 'We're playing The Water Rats Friday.'

'We'll get them a replacement,' Raphael said.

## Tuesday 13th September 1983

Next day Little Spirit had the replacement. Before disturbing the promoter Danny rang Stosh who supplied some band phone numbers. After a few calls he found two that could play Friday. Danny then rang the promoter, explained the situation and asked him to choose which band he wanted.

## Friday 16th September 1983

On Friday Katherine visited the gift shop on the way back from the bank.

'You look ever so sad,' Edith said.

'This usually helps,' she said accepting Calvin's latest letter and finding a grateful smile.

Having done such a poor job of hiding her feelings Katherine almost told the shopkeeper of her dwindling savings. But Edith didn't enquire so she left.

She found John's yacht locked. Keen to read she leant against the cabin and opened the envelope. His previous letter had contained the Little Spirit demo which Katherine had enjoyed guessing from memory which voice belonged to Calvin. This letter contained another photo. She looked at it considering Calvin her knight in battered trainers.

Generally Calvin spoke passionately but with modesty about Little Spirit. This time though Katherine read the exciting news that they'd be playing for Bananarama – that night. Katherine loved the chart-topping all-girl group. His words stated he'd love to see her at the gig but guessed they'd have played before she even received the letter she now held.

Almost out of money and feeling like a sponge soaking up generosity yet reciprocating nothing she felt herself dying.

Holding the letter to her lips she said, 'Lucky boy. I'm thrilled for you.'

* * *

Although telling the noisy rabble at their previous poly gig to shut up had been Danny's idea, he knew only Calvin had the minerals to shout it. It had bought them their most prestigious gig yet.

Unfortunately Little Spirit's name didn't appear on the posters or rapidly selling tickets. It mightn't have mattered but nevertheless Calvin had dipped into their budget and rushed off posters advertising them.

On the evening of the big event Little Spirit arrived early with Amy and milled around the concert hall around whilst Men Without Hats wrapped up their soundcheck.

'You can put your camera away Amy,' Danny said. 'Bananarama won't be back until they hit the stage.'

On the sound-guy's signal Little Spirit set their equipment up in front of the other bands' and still felt lost on the stage's enormity. Raphael's drums, cranked up to their highest pitch, cracked with delectable loudness. Calvin made do with his lousy bass amp. Looking up into the lighting rig Danny's mind dizzied never having seen so many lights pointing at him.

'Let's hear ya then,' the sound-guy said. The band played not stopping until their sound became redoubtable. Only then did the sound-guy tuck into the sandwich the band's extended soundcheck had kept him from.

Danny set his guitar on its stand as Amy, sitting by his amp, watched students fail to access the hall for a glimpse of Bananarama.

Calvin's longest guitar lead had crapped out after the refectory gig's ragging. On his side of the stage he set about fixing it.

Facing exposed wires on the floor he sensed nothing but the smell of solder and so he felt surprise when Danny called his name. He glanced over to see Danny and Amy looking at him with smiles he didn't recognise. He turned to Raphael who stared forward wide-eyed. He turned back, but Danny simply nodded in the direction of Raphael's stare.

Calvin's eyes stayed with Danny a beat before turning towards the front. Only then did he see what everyone had seen – the most beautiful woman in the world.

Unlike his friends he'd missed the kafuffle at the back of the hall and been unaware of hushing conversations and the clicking of heels on polished floor. He didn't see heads turn and follow the image of perfect female elegance walking chin held high with shining dark eyes anxiously fixed on him.

Amy, like everyone else had remained silent. Even when the stranger looked to her with pleading expression she'd remained mute.

* * *

An hour earlier Katherine, fearing she'd got the wrong polytechnic, saw Bananarama posters that didn't mention Calvin's band. But, pressing on, Little Spirit posters soon appeared.

As that fear diminished the next augmented. Changing in the loos to look her best she feared being wrong about Calvin insomuch as he might be wrong about her. Then she feared not being let into the hall.

Her best persuasion finally convinced the student union staff to open the doors despite the annoyance of other crowding music fans.

When the doors closed behind fear took its most ruthless grip. With trepidation each step, hindered by the tight fit of her designer dress, drew attention. Everyone looked at her. Everyone, except Calvin. Katherine willed him to lift his face.

Finally she reached the foot of the stage. It seemed nobody would speak until someone called his name. Then Calvin did, thankfully, look up taking her breath with immeasurable unsmiling expression, just like he had in Saint Tropez.

Calvin ditched his gum and stood. Fixing his eyes on Katherine he glided automatically towards her. Her arms rose as if in defence but as he continued looking into her eyes the truth crystallised. Her fears visibly melted and with a sigh he caught his love as she collapsed into his arms. He lifted her off her feet.

'I got you,' he whispered spinning her round. 'I got you babe.'

Her feet touched down as lips found lips. Hands cupped laughing faces.

When Calvin remembered his friends he laughed again seeing them huddled together.

'That's given me a lump in my throat,' Amy said.

After introductions Calvin carried Katherine's bursting suitcase towards the refectory.

'I haven't eaten for hours but I'm too worked up now,' Katherine said.

'Don't worry, the smell of mediocre canteen food will change your mind,' he said leading her to the queue.

'I think you're right,' she said, 'I'll get it.'

'No no, you got it last time.'

They sat at a grubby table for six. Katherine looked at the dry lettuce on her fork thinking how long it had been since she'd witnessed such bad food. But as she noticed the feelings in her heart she wondered if she'd ever been so happy.

Calvin didn't ask how come she'd suddenly turned up but Katherine felt the time to explain had arrived.

'Remember John who's yacht I took you out on?'

'I remember his yacht. He wasn't around.'

'That's right,' Katherine giggled feeling silly for laughing. 'Well, this afternoon he asked me to look after it again because he was flying over on business. I received your letter before he left so asked if I could fly too.'

'Really?'

'I didn't mean to. It just popped out.'

Calvin reached out and held her hands in his, 'Just popped out?'

'Yeah, I never would have asked consciously.'

'Must've been meant to be.'

'Maybe because he checked and there was one seat left on the Learjet. I packed everything and withdrew the last of my savings.'

'How much was the flight?'

'John wouldn't take a thing; said the company had already paid for plane and fuel.'

'What about all your friends?'

'Told them I was just popping over to see family.'

When silence followed Katherine wondered what might be going through his mind. 'I'm sorry about this Calvin. I didn't have a moment to think. I miss my mum but ... I'm not sure what I'm doing. I don't wanna see my dad... I just wanted to see you.'

'Don't worry about a thing.' Calvin said. 'Come to the flat tonight. We'll think about tomorrow, tomorrow.'

'Now's the time to be happy,' Katherine quoted from one of his letters.

'Very true in this case.'

'You should write a song about that.'

'Danny's on it.' Calvin then looked serious. 'There's one potential problem.'

'Oh?'

'It's Raphael. He's staying over. I don't wanna appear presumptuous but ... the settee's taken.'

Katherine smiled but hoped she'd not have to pay for a B&B. 'Would you mind lending a corner of your bed?'

He looked at her with surprise before bursting into smiling laughter. Katherine laughed too and told him not to tease.

Calvin looked past her to see Amy waving from the queue. Once they'd settled Calvin sat back watching Katherine interact with his friends. He remembered her explanation of Cumbrian girls holding her in contempt whilst Saint Tropez people responded warmly. Amy appeared star-struck. He guessed they'd get along fine.

Finding his way back into the conversation Calvin asked, 'Everyone cool with Katherine staying over?'

Amy looked delighted. Even Danny laughed saying, 'Katherine you're very welcome.'

Changing the subject back Calvin brought the others up to speed then asked Katherine, 'So you landed, where?'

'Gatwick. John and I went our separate ways but I promised to meet him for a drink and discuss going back.'

'Are you going back?' Amy jumped in.

'I'll have to at some point I suppose. I didn't know I was leaving till today.'

'Oh,' Amy said. 'So how did you get from Gatwick?'

'Trains, buses and foot.'

'In those fab shoes?'

'Couldn't have managed that. I changed here.'

Checking the time Danny said, 'We'd better get back.'

Amy went to find friends whilst Danny and Raphael headed for the stage to check the equipment. Calvin led Katherine by her hand backstage.

'Where's Bananarama?' Katherine asked.

Pushing the door to the smallest dressing room Calvin said, 'In their own dressing room. They're off limits I'm afraid.'

Alone amongst harshly lit walls he put the suitcase down.

'So ...' Calvin started but in turning back to Katherine stopped dead. Leaning against the closed door with hips pushed forwards she didn't look like she wanted to talk. He gorged on the view. Even the curve of her ankles inspired feelings of carnality. He gazed at her slender calves, and to her knees where the hem of her dress hung. His eyes swept passed the curve of her hips, the flat of her stomach, the weight of her breasts, the length of her neck, the swish of her hair to her face – an expression of lust.

Calvin stepped towards her. Despite the garish light Katherine's pupils had dilated. Her parted lips lured him closer.

Advancing one hand touched her neck whilst the other found the small of her back. Her eyes closed; their lips joined. Though her body became ragdoll limp in his arms her dress rose as she wrapped a leg around him. Emotionally so close to going too far their course arrested with the sound of approaching voices appearing mere seconds before Danny opened the door.

'Wayhey,' Raphael said seeing Calvin readjust his jeans and Katherine straightening her dress. He hooted seeing lustful visages morphing to ones of embarrassment. Calvin shrugged before smiling at Katherine. A moment later everyone laughed.

'You ol' dog,' Danny said.

'We're due on. Time to prepare,' Raphael said. 'Amy's outside with friends.'

'D'you want to join her?' Danny asked Katherine.

'I'll take her,' Calvin said. 'How full's the hall?'

'Maybe, a third,' Raphael said looking for Danny's agreement.

'Yup, around six hundred; more than the refectory.'

Calvin held the door for Katherine. Danny catching his eye privately mouthed, 'She's breath-taking.'

Outside the dressing room Calvin hugged Katherine. 'Sorry about that.'

'God, I'm sorry. You must think I'm a right nympho.'

'I was worse. I've not been with anyone since you.'

'Well neither have I,' Katherine said.

Calvin smirked. 'Guess it's to be expected then.'

He led her out and past the stage where they found Amy in the loosely gathered audience.

'Hi Katherine,' she shouted over the music from the PA. 'Meet my friends.'

'I'll see you at the bar afterwards,' Calvin said preparing to leave. 'Will you be alright?'

'She'll be fine,' Amy said. 'Go have the best gig.'

Left comfortably with Amy, Katherine became uncomfortable with her friends when they sneered seeing her kiss Calvin. _You should've seen us a minute ago,_ she thought _._

Soon the lights dimmed and Ultravox faded, replaced by bizarre noise.

'They're coming on,' Amy said dragging Katherine closer to the stage. The curtains parted.

The drums twinkled through near darkness. They could only see Raphael's two raised hands twirling sticks. When the curtains widened Calvin and Danny appeared, backs to the audience. The intro swelled until—

Wow! The stage burst into light and sound. Katherine thought the lads seemed to grow as Calvin and Danny dazzled the audience within a few bars.

'Isn't Calvin fantastic?' shouted Amy through the volume.

'He is. They all are.'

'I know,' Amy beamed. 'Danny's my favourite.' She clicked her camera.

At their mics all three voices harmonised; a single voice of command.

Three songs later Katherine found herself shoved into Alison. Turning round she saw a landscape of faces.

'The place is packed,' she said to Amy.

'Big gig, this one,' Amy said facing forwards again.

When the next song began Katherine panicked when no sound came from Calvin's guitar.

'Oh no.'

'Oh crap,' Amy agreed. But the band looked calm, Raphael and Danny repeating his rock riff over and over.

Calvin unplugged his guitar lead and announced, 'Only When it's Saturday.'

'It's Friday,' someone shouted up.'

'Might be by the time this guitar's fixed.' Someone appeared from the side of the stage handing him another lead. Calvin nodded his thanks then, before Danny's riff wearied, he signalled to the band as the bass thundered them into a tremendous intro chorus.

'That was brilliant,' Katherine screamed.

Squeezing her hand Amy yelled towards the stage, 'You guys rule.'

* * *

After Little Spirit had played, Amy took Katherine to meet the lads at the bar. Katherine paid for lemonades and asked, 'Didn't you fancy alcohol?'

Looking away Amy said, 'Trying to cut down – makes me do regrettable things. You not drinking?'

'Too long and strange a day for wine.'

With no hope of returning to the front they stayed by the bar watching and dancing with the lads to Bananarama's show.

Amy watched Katherine spark conversations with strangers and student union staff and wondered what they could be saying.

That night back at the flat Amy went to the kitchen and shouted to Calvin and Katherine, 'Do you two fancy a cuppa?'

'Yes please,' Calvin said. 'Be with you in a sec.'

From the kitchen Amy saw Calvin's door close. Nobody saw him or Katherine until the next day. Everyone heard them though; all night.

## Saturday 17th September 1983

Eleven o'clock the next morning Amy knocked on Calvin's door. With no response she decided to have a quick peak. _Make sure they're alright,_ she reasoned.

Beyond the door a lamp illuminated an explosion of clothes. The bed where her friends now slept peacefully had shaken diagonally from the wall. With covers adding to the mess on the floor she saw Calvin and considered he looked good naked. Katherine looked incredible. She admired Katherine's breasts with appreciative envy. In front of her a used condom lay on the carpet, one hung over the rim of the waste basket and a third one she didn't want to think about. She retreated not able to recall a one night stand where she'd ransacked a room.

An hour later she banged again on Calvin's door, 'Breakfast guys.'

'Breakfast?' she heard Calvin murmur from the other side.

'I'm coming in. You decent?'

'No,' cried two voices.

A moment later Calvin said, 'Right, okay, ready.'

'Wow, what happened here?' Amy said feigning surprise pleased a sheet now hid the lovers' modesty. She delivered the tray avoiding the floor's mess.

'Oh tea, lovely,' Katherine said.

'They're yours from last night, I reheated them.'

'Sorry about that.'

Calvin said, 'As long as the toast's fresh.'

Leaving them to breakfast, Amy turned and not watching her step, trod barefoot on the condom.

* * *

Before getting up Katherine relaxed in Calvin's arms relieved that the gamble she'd taken in turning up had paid off. In Saint Tropez she tried to live by one rule of thumb, _m_ ake _sure the other person gets the better end of the deal – whatever that may be_. But the more parsimonious she became the less she felt her friendly support matched her friends' generosity.

Though Katherine didn't know how long she would or could stay with Calvin she swore to stick by her rule both financially and socially. Her happiness soared. And she had laughed when Amy stood on the condom.

In the living room Danny chatted with Amy and Raphael. Eventually the lovers appeared.

'Afternoon guys,' Amy said.

'Great gig,' Calvin said as everyone found a seat.

'We didn't get your thoughts,' Danny asked Katherine.

'Brilliant,' she said. 'Really surprised.'

'Surprised?' Raphael asked in mock horror.

'Yeah, I mean, I've heard your demo but to see you up there working the audience, jumping around and, so loud.'

'Yeah, we're good,' Raphael said. 'I'm pleased you enjoyed us.'

Katherine said, 'I spoke to audience members who said they'd enjoyed you. A girl from the student union staff said once you guys hit the stage the rush to get in caused a queue round the building.

'Fantastic,' Raphael said nodding at Danny.

Looking sage Danny asked, 'Any constructive criticism?'

'A bit.'

'Seriously?'

'Well, I asked people if they'd see you again and most had forgotten your name.'

'Really?' Danny said. 'We've found most people get it immediately.'

'Yeah it's a cool name but maybe strangers need help remembering.'

'We have posters,' Calvin said.

Danny said, 'Yeah, but audiences see posters and band separately.'

'If they liked you,' Amy said, 'they could check the posters on the way out.'

'Can't count on that.'

'I agree. It's up to us to ensure they remember,' Raphael said. 'But how?'

After a moment's thought Calvin said, 'When Bananarama played they had a huge named backdrop behind them.' Everyone looked at each other. 'That'd tie the name to the band. Just get a large piece of fabric and paint _Little Spirit_.'

'Bloody good idea,' Danny said. 'Any other criticisms Katherine?'

'Just a general one,' Katherine said.

'Let's hear it.'

'Well, I don't wanna seem insensitive.'

'All suggestions that could progress the band are welcome,' Danny assured her.

'Okay. To me it's a glaring omission. Basic, but easily overlooked.'

'I know,' Raphael said guessing. 'Image.'

'Correct.'

'We look good don't we?' Danny asked.

'Of course. You're all handsome, and in great shape, but all successful acts have defining images. Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran, Culture Club, Wham.'

'U2 do okay.'

'They're "underground".'

'The Police?' Calvin asked.

'Sting took his shirt off. We're not gonna forget that are we Amy?'

'No,' she purred. 'Plus they did that bleached hair thing when they started – they had image.'

'And image will give your audience even more to talk about,' Katherine said.

* * *

Later that afternoon when the lads returned from rehearsal Amy said, 'Me and Katherine have been discussing it – image that is. We reckon you should stick to three specific colours.'

Only Danny resisted. 'I like wearing jeans.'

'So wear your jeans,' Katherine said. 'Maybe blue can be one of your colours.'

Soon conversation, ideas and objections flowed. Eventually everyone agreed on black, due to the colour of their instruments and the band's collective favourite colour – blue.

They struggled to agree the third colour until Calvin described looking into a heavenly sky.

'From John's yacht in the Med, the palest blue faded deliciously to black and spotted with white stars and moon.'

After that Raphael asked, 'Is everyone happy with black, white and blue?'

'Looks like it,' Danny said when no further objections rose. 'I guess we need a logo.'

When suggestions started Danny the art graduate took pen to paper. Images came and went. Someone proposed a flag. With everyone shouting different things he almost used a full pad before the imagery settled. Black flag with blue parallel lines surrounding a five pointed star and Little Spirit written beneath in bold white letters.

## Monday 19th September 1983

On Monday Katherine got up once everyone had left. Despite Calvin's instruction to take it easy she needed to rise, shine and make some money.

Because of Saint Tropez's contrast to Cumbria, Katherine had thought she'd never fit in anywhere else. Yet the previous night everyone confirmed they wanted her to stay; meeting each day as it came.

Calvin's clothes hung from a suspended broom since he'd donated his wardrobe to her. She looked at the now somewhat ostentatious dresses bending the rail but managed to put a formal outfit together despite not knowing what sort of work to look for or how to find it. She neither had a CV nor qualifications to type on one.

After a couple of hours traipsing around Chingford's businesses Katherine headed to The Lion, where she'd arranged to meet Calvin for lunch. Danny had time to spare her a couple of minutes and introduced her to Liz the manageress who asked if she'd consider bar work.

'It's something I've done before so yes,' Katherine said.

'I'll keep you in mind.'

'Worth a try,' Danny encouraged once Liz had moved away.

Calvin soon turned up and then to everyone's surprise Amy.

'Got my new timetable today,' Amy said. 'Nothing else on for today; thought I'd find you here.'

'Wanna help me show Katherine around before I get back to work?' Calvin asked her.

'Sure, beats being inside on a day like this.'

But, an hour later Calvin had used his entire lunch hour in the pub. So, together Amy and Katherine hit one business after another. Most places had no vacancies. Some required qualified workers.

'D'you fancy working in a pub?' Amy asked.

'Maybe, Liz couldn't offer anything,' Katherine said despondently.

'Okay, but there's The Dog and Parrot.'

Katherine remembered from Calvin's letters that Little Spirit had played there. Time had passed and in the dry heat Katherine figured it could be time for a Coke.

Inside, she accepted the easy atmosphere of the homely pub.

Asking the barmaid, Amy learned Kev would be back after changing a barrel and a moment later the loveable thickset Geordie appeared.

'Hiya saucy,' he said spotting her.

'I'm Amy, I'm friends with Little Spirit who played upstairs.'

'I remember, Raphael's squeeze.'

'Just friends actually.'

'Oops, my mistake – or Raphael's. You didn't break his heart did you?'

'No, his heart's fine.'

'Pleased to hear that like. Nice lad that one. D'you wanna book Little Spirit back in?' He walked behind the bar to get the gig diary.

'I can let them know any available dates,' Amy said. 'But I'd like to introduce Katherine.'

'Pleased to meet you,' Katherine said offering a hand.

'Katherine?' he said. 'Enchanté.'

Smiling at his French accent she allowed him to kiss her hand.

'Steady on,' Amy said appalled not knowing Katherine would set him straight soon enough. 'She's the bass player's girlfriend.'

Kev whipped his hand to his chest and stepped back. 'He's the ugly one right?'

'He's gorgeous,' Amy said looking aghast.

'Just kidding,' Kev said. 'How d'you know this lot?'

Katherine told him, and how she needed a job.

'Perhaps bar work,' Amy said.

'I tell you what I've just had to sack someone.' Katherine and Amy looked at each other.

'If you need a replacement would you consider someone like me,' Katherine asked.

'Have you any bar experience?'

When she said she had Kev vanished and reappeared with an application form. 'When can you start?'

'Right now, I guess.'

'Immediately?'

'Yeah, why not?'

'Okay it's five past four. I'll pay you for a couple of hours and show you the ropes. You can start properly tomorrow at eleven. How's that?'

'Great. Don't you want references?'

'Nah, Amy seems to like you and if you turn out to be dodgy it'll be no more gigs for Little Spirit.'

* * *

That evening Calvin came back from Proper Printing with rolls of blue and white electrical tape. Amy told him Katherine would be back after she'd finished her first shift as a stripper before telling him the truth.

'What's with the blue and white tape?' she asked the delighted bass player.

By the time Katherine came home and been congratulated, Calvin and Amy had striped his guitar leads in band-coloured electrical tape.

'Distinctive,' Katherine told him.

'Isn't it?' Danny agreed having arrived too. 'Is there enough for me?'

'Loads.'

Soon his leads sported more artistically grouped stripes.

Later the two girls relaxed on Calvin's bed when Katherine referred back to Kev's comments on her romance with Raphael.

'He was just another of my multitudinous mistakes,' Amy sighed.

Katherine didn't press but after a moment's silence asked, 'How long have you been in love with Danny?'

Amy's jaw dropped as the words echoed hollowly. 'Is it really that obvious?'

'It is now, but not really.'

'I suppose I've always liked him. It's just been getting worse recently.'

'Have you told anyone?'

'Not a soul. Though friends sometimes tease they don't know.'

'We've both got secrets then.'

'He snogged my friend Alison.'

'Sorry to hear that.'

'Do you think Calvin, or Danny suspect?'

'Hardly.'

'Doesn't matter, Danny wouldn't touch anything that's not stick thin, super blonde and way cooler than me.'

'Don't sell yourself short Amy. You're way better than you realise.'

Amy's cheeks flushed. 'Thanks but even if you're right that stunt with Raphael will have ruined any chance. And then there's ...'

'What?'

Looking away Amy wrinkled her nose. 'I don't know.'

Katherine didn't tell her of the beautiful woman she could see waiting to break through Amy's expression of angry regret. She wouldn't have believed it right then.

Katherine described life in Saint Tropez but in the next lull Amy said, 'Sometimes I think you look really sad.'

Katherine nodded. 'They're my first proper friends. I never thought I'd leave but now I'm here with Calvin and you guys I feel I can't go back.'

'So stay. They'd never need to know.'

'I'm one of Elaine's bridesmaids next June. I booked and arranged her venue.'

'That's right, Calvin mentioned that. Where is it?'

Katherine brightened. 'The perfect chapel and then to a place called Château Hôtel de la Messardière for the breakfast and party. Should be amazing.'

'How did you afford all that?'

'It wasn't my job to pay. I took Elaine's parents up there and negotiated the tiniest deposit.'

'Clever lady. So, what's the guy you flew across with like?'

'John's great. Bit of a yuppie but you guys would like him.'

'Invite him to a gig.'

'What?'

'Saturday night; The Water Rats. Introduce Calvin and tell him exactly who you are. We'll soon see how great he is.'

'I don't know about all that,' Katherine said. After some thought she added, 'I suppose it wouldn't hurt to invite him along.'

## Friday 23th September 1983

By Friday Katherine had done several fun shifts at The Dog and Parrot. Kev booked Little Spirit for two more gigs but had expected more from their demo.

Danny arranged Friday off and Amy skipped lectures. Band and girls headed to London to shop for clothes following Katherine's guarantee to style Little Spirit on a budget. An excited Katherine had never been into the city so Amy took the role as guide.

To gather ideas they began by looking at exorbitantly high priced clothes. Katherine wouldn't have let them buy anything even if they'd wanted arguing the clothes would look cheap and unflattering if they didn't fit properly.

When they arrived at the cheaper shops Calvin tried second-hand leather jackets. 'Check this one out,' he said posing like Elvis.

'Looks good on the hanger babe,' Katherine said. 'But it's not complimenting the wonderful physique God gave you.'

'What about this one?' he said modelling another second-hand item.

'Sorry darling it's tight across your chest. Actually let Raphael try it.'

When Calvin surrendered the jacket, it and Raphael transformed.

'Perfect,' Katherine said.

Disappointedly Calvin agreed.

Linking Calvin's arm Katherine said, 'Don't worry we'll find you one that looks good as Raphael's.'

By 16:30 the lads had jeans and shirts that looked made to measure. Other purchases included blue and white paint, black clothing dye, bleach and a sizable rectangle of black fabric.

Heading for the train station they passed a previously overlooked second-hand clothes shop. Despite everyone's tiredness Calvin insisted they go in. Inside rows of different styled leather jackets faced them.

Danny found a blue and white leather-sleeved baseball jacket. Katherine gave the thumbs up.

Amy handed Calvin one jacket after another. Katherine shook her head before he could ever reach a zip. Minutes passed with Danny and Raphael scurrying re-hanging the castoffs.

'Stop!' Katherine said.

Everyone froze.

'That's it.'

As Calvin posed before the dusty mirror everyone agreed the winning jacket had been found.

'Can I buy it?' Calvin asked.

* * *

For Amy the day had been an education in style. Back at the flat she left the boys in the living room drawing huge letters on the fabric as it became the band's backdrop. She knocked on Calvin's door.

'Come in,' Katherine said.

'The phone's out here.' Seeing Katherine's puzzled expression Amy added, 'To ring that John fella?'

'Oh, it's Friday night he'll be out.'

'So ring anyway. You're just inviting him to a gig. He might have other plans anyway.'

Beaten Katherine retrieved John's business card from her purse. Amy waited in Calvin's room.

'I don't believe it,' Katherine said a minute later. 'He's coming.'

## Saturday 24th September 1983

The following day Calvin woke smelling chemicals. He found Danny painting the backdrop.

'I should have this finished soon.'

With his back to the still sleepy Raphael, Calvin admired the bold letters beneath the blue flag. 'You're doing a good job mate.'

'Cheers. We can crack on with the jeans shortly.'

And after breakfast they started making their new clothes more unique. Danny painted blue patterns on his Converse. Calvin and Raphael threaded blue laces through theirs. The bottoms of jeans soaked black dye from a bucket. Raphael put ties around the left leg of his creating blue stripes.

Two hours later Calvin put a solution of bleach in the bathroom sink and dipped the beltlines into it. By midday the washing line aired white belt-lined jeans with blue midsections and black lower legs.

'That'll give them something to talk about,' Katherine said when later they did their best to hairdryer them ready for the night's show.

The band headed to London before the girls, ready to put their new image into action. 'Hey cool guys, what a transformation,' Stosh said.

'Thanks man,' Danny said.

'You're higher up the bill; third band of four, principle support act.'

'Cool.'

'Is it okay to hang ze new backdrop?' Raphael asked.

'Okay with me,' Stosh said.

Without regard for fire regulations the backdrop hung behind the drums rolled such that it could be exhibited when Little Spirit came to play.

Soundcheck sorted they took their positions outside the pub enjoying the warm fresh evening. Soon Amy skipped into view. Katherine followed elegantly with a tanned stout man in his thirties.

'Guys, this is John,' Amy said.

Danny found himself surprised to like the stereotypical Thatcher-type yuppie. He accepted John's handshake delivered with engaging eye contact.

Standing outside the pub in his suit and open shirt John produced a gold cigarette case. 'Silk Cut anyone?'

Katherine joined in greeting the walk up crowd. With her on the case Danny figured they'd be in for a good headcount.

John prattled in rich tones asking and telling them about the music business making comparisons with his own line of business, like he'd know Danny thought.

In John's high regard of Katherine, Danny warmed more to her too. John took near fascination in Calvin wanting to know how he'd succeeded where all other red-blooded males had failed.

After the first two bands had played the girls and John positioned themselves with a decent view of the stage. John asked Katherine in anticipation, 'Do they sound as good as they look?'

'Better,' she said admiring the now unfurled backdrop sporting the name and logo.

When the intro piece began Little Spirit took the stage. Seeing Calvin wobbling John said, 'Oh God, is he alright, he doesn't look well?'

Katherine, perhaps out of sympathy found herself nauseous and touched her hand to her throat.

'He's fine,' Amy soothed. 'You'll see.'

Proving correct, two beats into _Life in the Sunshine,_ Calvin's nervous condition became as forgotten and irrelevant as the poor choice of clothes the band previously wore in gigs.

Little Spirit's familiarity with venue and audience created intimacy. They dropped the band name into their crowd banter and praised venue and staff. They advertised their next Water Rats gig and invited people to buy demos or just say hi.

Though Katherine's Saint Tropez girl friends had sneered at Calvin, John exalted him. She feared he'd see through her disguise of wealth given her present company and the bar's grunginess but John appeared too enamoured with the band; more intrigued with the venue than put off.

The friends headed to the street after Little Spirit handed the stage to the final band.

'You guys should be headliners,' John said. 'You can really tell which the proper band is.'

'Really?' Calvin asked. 'I think these guys on now are good.'

'No way.' Gesturing with his hands John said, 'There's a clear distinction between you up here and them down here.'

'Have a demo,' Raphael said handing him a tape.

'Thanks,' John said reaching for his wallet.

'It's our pleasure,' Danny said refusing payment.

Despite Katherine's own love of Little Spirit she hadn't expected them to steal John's attention as they had. Her objective to share her secret with him got lost as John surrounded himself with the band, Amy and friends. When they said goodbye John smiled and waved his demo at them.

* * *

Coming through the flat's door to the ringing phone Calvin made a dash grabbing it. 'It's John for you babe,' he said.

Worried she'd been sussed Katherine took the receiver.

'Katherine,' John said. 'Had a tremendous night. I wanted to thank you.'

'I'm relieved. It was good seeing you.'

'Didn't get much of a chat with you though.'

'No.' Katherine could only guess what he wanted to talk about.

'I'd be honoured if you and Calvin would join me for lunch at The Sheraton in Knightsbridge tomorrow.'

Surprised Katherine didn't know what to think. Daring to test the water with honesty she said, 'We'd love to but we can't afford to be dining expensively at the moment.'

'Don't worry I got it. I'll claim it's a business expense.'

'A business expense?' Katherine said and, forgetting Calvin's rehearsal wondering why he hadn't queried her admission. 'We'd love to join you.'

'Excellent. See you at noon.'

In the living room with the others Katherine said, 'He might be on to me.'

'How so?' Amy asked.

'I told him we couldn't afford The Sheraton; he wasn't surprised.'

## Sunday 25th September 1983

With Katherine's assistance Calvin looked as worthy as she did when the Sheraton's butler held open the door for them the next day.

'Ah, perfect timing,' John said having spotted them across the foyer. Stopping before he reached them he admired the couple. Gesturing his approval he kissed Katherine's cheek saying, 'Exquisite as always. And Calvin ...' He took his hand bowing slightly with respect. 'Nice to see you both. I hope you're ready to eat.'

Once seated Katherine said, 'Before we order there's something I need to get off my chest.'

'Oh?' John rested his menu down. Katherine looked at Calvin who nodded his support.

'On the phone last night I told you that we couldn't afford it to eat expensively.'

'I remember. But you're my guests and it's my pleasure.'

'And we're grateful but, didn't that strike you as odd?'

'I don't know,' John said raising an eyebrow. 'I suppose maybe. I mean I don't know Calvin's financial situation of course.'

'Well, this is awkward but ...' Katherine stuttered. 'Okay, I'm not rich like you. Think about it have you ever seen me spend money?'

'Never given it a thought,' he said before surprising Katherine saying, 'You don't often see me spend money though do you?'

'I ... no, not often. Perhaps that's the point. I've, _accidentally_ , created the illusion of wealth.' Guilt's harsh caress cracked her voice. 'Thing is, I landed in the French Riviera with some savings. Initially that was no secret but later, in Saint Tropez meeting you and every other generous soul I became one of you; at some level at least. Then my pennilessness became a secret; one I can't live with anymore.'

'So your family's not wealthy?'

'No they're lowly West Cumbrians.'

John requested the waiter come back in a minute.

Katherine told her story not knowing whether she or Calvin would be getting lunch. She held her breath throughout John's black hole silence. Under the table Calvin squeezed her knee.

Eventually John said, 'I don't know why, but this doesn't come as any major surprise. You're something of an enigma lady. But, the truth is you're a tremendous person and I'm ever proud to call you my friend.'

'Really?' Katherine fought tears as she laughed her relief.

'Really,' he said touching her hand across the table. 'Let's order lunch.'

Over dishes with sliver served vegetables Katherine's story continued. She explained her upbringing, the people and her dad's unemployment.

'So what jobs are in Cumbria?' John asked.

'Mining, fishing and farming mostly. But most mines have shut or are laying off workers. The fish stocks are dwindling and bigger tractors do the job of ten farmhands.'

'Isn't Sellafield up there?'

'It's nearby, but might as well be on the moon for the locals. The best paid jobs are outsourced. There's a chemical works but other than that the locals have a bleak future.'

'I understand but something doesn't add up.'

'Oh?'

'You're like a princess. I mean no disrespect to the hardworking Cumbrian grafters but I can't believe you come from that stock; not just your looks but your elegant speech, your posture, everything.'

'I've worked hard at it.'

'Hmm,' John seemed unconvinced. 'What about your grandparents?'

'No wealth there believe me. That said, I've never met my mum's parents.'

John asked Calvin, 'Are you supporting her?'

'No, she's working in a bar.'

'You,' John said to Katherine, 'work in a bar?'

'Nothing wrong with bar work,' Katherine said.

Without apology John agreed. 'Dead right; did it myself too, but take Calvin here. Calvin may or may not have money but what Little Spirit did last night blew me away. Calvin was doing what he is. That's probably why he's so good at it.'

Katherine understood his point. She considered the remarkable change that came over Calvin the moment he donned his low-slung bass.

John continued. 'I make money; that's me. I feel like I'm doing what I am. And, when all I want is a cold beer, bar staff are the world's most important people.'

'I don't know my truth,' Katherine said. 'But I don't want to lie about what I'm not anymore.'

'With or without money nobody doubted you were a princess,' John said with a smile. 'But I suppose you ought to come clean. Elaine and the rest deserve it.'

Katherine looked at Calvin and considered him, her truth irrespective of bar work or anyone else.

'You know,' John addressed Calvin, 'I've seen a lot of bands in a lot of bars. And a lot of big names too; Springsteen, The Police, Floyd, Queen, and all their support acts. But let me say, you guys impressed me as much as any of them.'

'That's quite some compliment,' Calvin said looking from John to Katherine who'd found her smile.

'A deserved compliment,' John said. 'Great songs, sound, image. You're in impressive shape too. Almost the full package.'

'Almost?' Calvin asked.

Ignoring him John powered into questions. How many songs, finance, other commitments? Did any band member have drug, alcohol, health or personality issues? What stood between them and success?

Ready with the answers Calvin said, 'My dad's breathing down my neck. We need to earn proper money by next June. That means releasing an album and touring. We're aiming for Top of the Pops. We can only get that if we've got a product, from there national tours will hopefully follow.'

'Your dad doesn't think music is a worthy pursuit?' John asked.

'Hell no.'

'Thatcher may be one horrendous prime minister,' John said nodding to Katherine, 'shutting down coal mines and manufacturing. But, she's creating opportunities for musicians. She knows music is a stupendous export. The Americans created MTV but it's our bands making videos and selling records because of it. Thatcher tells us to do things for ourselves and has grants to help. There are recording studios popping up all the time. From what you've said Little Spirit is an exciting project.'

'Very,' Calvin said.

'So, I'd like to be a helpful part of it,' John said leaning back.

Calvin smiled and a thrilled Katherine almost forgot her earlier anguish.

Calvin said. 'What helpful part were you thinking of?'

'Don't worry, nothing controlling. I have a proposition for you to run by the band.'

'Okay.'

'I knew I wanted to help Little Spirit and I knew just how ...' John eyed them both carefully, '... the moment I played your demo.'

'Oh.'

'Yup, a chain is only as strong as its weakest link.'

'We know the demo isn't great but—'

'I'll buy you studio sessions.'

Seeing Calvin lost for words Katherine spoke up. 'That's unspeakably kind.'

'What's in it for you?' Calvin asked eventually.

'Mature and shrewd. I like that,' John said. 'This is neither a gift nor a loan. It's an investment on my part. I only request two things. One, record your best songs as well as possible. Two, produce the best inlay card and clearly state my name as financier in the credits.'

'Sounds reasonable,' Calvin said. 'So how's that an investment?'

'In my line of business I meet lots of people. Image is paramount. If people know that I've financed a credible band then I might look cool or generous either of which could lead to better deals.'

'So everyone's happy?' Katherine said.

'The only way to do business.' John motioned to the plates. 'And that's why this is a business expense.'

Calvin asked, 'What's next?'

'Little Spirit willing my PA will get three studio quotes tomorrow. You guys do the same and we'll choose the best. Where possible get quotes for cassette duplication too.'

* * *

Upon leaving, John assured Katherine he'd keep her secret safe and that he'd fly her to France soon.

Katherine, full of optimism from John's easy acceptance of her status, returned to the flat with Calvin and John's proposal. With four songs chosen Amy said she'd get the quotes before poly and drop them into The Dog and Parrot for Katherine to relay to John's PA.

'Things are looking good,' Raphael said.

'Can you imagine if we'd still got Brian Collins on drums?' Danny asked.

Calvin snorted, 'We'd still be rehearsing.'

'He never rang back then?' Raphael said.

'Never.'

'At least he had a car,' Amy said.

'Raphael's got one,' Danny said. 'And that's where any comparison stops. Raphael looks better, his drumming's infinitely better; as is his sound and he got me a deal on my guitar pedals.'

'And,' Calvin said, 'if he hadn't the four-track to record the first demo John might not have taken us seriously enough to invest in us.'

'Jeez, you guys,' Raphael said blushing.

'I remember you saying Brian was no relation to Phil Collins,' Katherine said to Calvin.

'Unless there was a mix up in hospital.'

'I wonder what happens when babies go home with the wrong parents. How do the kids turn out?'

When nobody else spoke Raphael piped up. 'I heard it said that if you want to know ze truth then look at ze seed. An apple seed, will only ever grow into an apple tree.'

'But the size and shape of a tree is affected by the gardener or in this case, parents.' Calvin said.

'True, but it'll never grow cherries, only apples.'

'D'you think that's true of humans?' Katherine asked.

'To some extent. Why d'you ask?'

'John thinks you guys do what you are; like you were born to be rock stars.'

'Maybe,' Raphael said exchanging a querying look with Calvin.

'But Calvin's dad hates Rock 'n' Roll.'

Raphael said, 'Calvin isn't his dad, or his mother for that matter. He's a complex genetic blend of both parents which might be apt for someone choosing a career as a musician. His dad's reluctance to accept music as a career might affect Calvin's growth though. Remember Calvin you don't live in Coventry anymore. You're the gardener now.'

Katherine shook her head to herself none the wiser as to how that helped her own truth.

## Monday 26th September 1983

Amy called into Katherine's pub on her way to poly with the results of her and Danny's phone calls. Danny had contacted studios and left Amy a list of questions so she could continue after he left for work.

After poly Amy called back in to see Katherine. On the walk back to the flat Amy said, 'You're a terrific bar bird.'

'Thanks Amy.' After a few more steps Katherine asked, 'Despite John's opinion you reckon bar work's me?'

'You'd look wonderful in front or behind any bar.'

Katherine said, 'So is Danny you?'

'I doubt it.'

'You know I doubt you'd sustain such feelings for him without some glimmer of hope.'

'Oh come off it.'

'You're certainly worthy of someone like him.'

'Don't be getting my hopes Katherine.'

'Okay, but if you'll let me, I'll help you see the real you – the beautiful one.'

Later, as Danny and Calvin jammed tunes in the living room the girls collected Amy's magazines. In Calvin's room they leafed through the pages but to Amy, personal beauty seemed too distant a goal as one gorgeous image flicked to another.

Katherine however showed her the mirror and identified the similarities Amy shared with the magazine goddesses. Katherine demonstrated that certain characteristics defining one model as beautiful contradicted other beautiful models. An innate resistance fought Amy's own ideas of self-image and what beauty meant.

'I don't like my freckles,' she whinged for the umpteenth time.

'Freckles,' Katherine pointed to yet another image. 'And she's gorgeous.'

'Yeah but—'

'You can carry on all you want Amy. Whatever you've got I'll show you a beautiful woman with it.'

Eventually Amy's mind gave up. 'I don't know what's beautiful and what's not.'

'Good start. Now you can accept not only that there's nothing wrong with you but that everything might be right.'

Katherine set Amy homework which involved her spending sessions, naked before her mirror repeating the phrase, _I am beautiful._

'Clothes and makeup are important,' Amy said by way of excuse.

'Not to those who won't accept their natural state. But you'll learn something that will make a difference.'

'Really, what?'

'You can tell me a week from now – once you've done your homework.'

At bedtime Amy reluctantly approached her wardrobe door's mirror. Off came her T-shirt followed by the belly-cutting jeans. After socks she dared a look at her shy slouching reflection in its non-matching underwear. _Here goes._ She unhooked her bra.

Glancing at the clock Amy's silent voice began, _I am beautiful_. Another internal voice said, _Liar_. Feeling ridiculous she pressed on, _I am beautiful._

A chill came but passed. Boredom set in but the mantra persisted. Though minutes dragged she noted her expression brightening from glum to curious. She smiled noticing her shoulders straighten and tummy flatten as her posture improved. _I am beautiful. My boobs look amazing. I am beautiful_. _And with a bit of exercise I might believe you._

## Tuesday 27th September 1983

After another shift on achy feet Katherine arrived at the flat to find Amy and Danny in hysterics with legs locked together doing sit-ups in the living room.

'Why didn't you tell me exercise was such fun?' Amy hooted.

To Amy, Danny said, 'I'm going for a shower, wanna join me?'

'Get outta here,' she laughed as Calvin appeared at Katherine's side.

'I've spoken to John,' Katherine said. 'He says we should arrange appointments with studio managers.'

'That's fantastic,' Calvin said.

'It's really happening,' Danny agreed.

'There's another thing though. John's got a flight to France and I've said I'll be on it.'

'You are coming back aren't you?' Amy asked before Calvin.

'I'll be back after a week, if you'll still have me.'

Calvin's smile bounced back. 'No worries there,' he said kissing her. 'How d'you feel?'

'Scared.' She took his hand. 'I won't be able to get back to you soon enough.'

When Calvin left the room Amy and Katherine washed up. Amy told her she'd done her second session in front of the mirror.

'I'm feeling different already,' she said. 'I know I'm not like you Katherine but I'm starting to like me.'

'Just the way you are.'

'Exactly.'

'Danny asked you to shower with him.'

'He was only kidding,' Amy said dismissively. 'Although, he doesn't normally joke like that.'

After drying some plates Amy asked, 'Have you spoken to your mum since being back?'

'No, not yet.'

'What's going on?'

'I don't know. I should ring her. I'm so happy to have Calvin and you guys. I miss my mum but ...'

'Go on.'

'I feel cross with her.'

'But you've not spoken in months. You might be dead for all she knows.'

'I'm almost as worried about phoning her as I am facing the Saint Tropez crowd.'

'Ring her,' Amy said, 'right now.'

Katherine stopped drying the plate in her hand. She glared but Amy saw her soften at once. She put the tea towel down. 'Fine, I just hope my dad doesn't answer.'

Amy waited in Calvin's room.

'How d'it go?' she asked when Katherine came back.

'Well, mum answered but cried so much that before I knew it I said I'd go and see her this Friday.'

'Oh God. Katherine, you're an angel but you need help too. Would it help if I came with you?'

Katherine told her it wouldn't be fun. Amy wondered again what her dad's problem could be but felt determined to help and soon Katherine phoned her mum back.

Not wanting to discuss herself further the subject turned to Amy and self-image. When she couldn't guess how many people she'd slept with, Katherine blamed poor self-image saying, 'I'm sure you've turned a corner. Given time you'll be dating the best and forgetting the rest.'

'I don't know. I could be off men anyway.'

'How come?' Katherine asked puzzled.

'I can't believe I'm gonna tell you this.'

'Tell me what?'

'I've not told anyone but before you arrived I was starving myself of sex – like Danny would stupidly think I was a virgin.' Amy shook her head.

'Okay.'

'But that just made me crazy for it.'

'I know what you mean.' Katherine remembered how pent up she'd become isolating herself in Saint Tropez.

'Danny's mum came to a gig. I stayed sober hoping she'd like me, which she kind of did, I suppose. I hated that Alison had designs on Danny. Later at the club I hit the vodkas and stayed after Raphael left with Joanne.'

'Sounds lonely.'

'Not for long. Dancing alone the sharks soon arrived. I snogged some lad and let him drag me further onto the dance floor. It was packed that night. I'm so short even in heels I couldn't see passed the backs of shoulders.'

'Fun?'

'Maybe. In that state I didn't care. But I figured I'd let whatever happen, you know – not wanting to bring anyone back or stay over anywhere else.'

'For Danny's benefit.'

'Stupid I know.'

'Wait a minute,' Katherine said, 'you didn't do him right there did you?'

'Not exactly.'

'Oh my god,' Katherine said before recomposing. 'I mean, go on.'

'There was some bumping of pelvises and my skirt ended up, up.'

'Up?'

'Over my hips.'

'Blimey.'

'And I ... how to put it? I was close to _my_ edge but I took him over _his_ edge. What a stupid thing to do.'

'I'm sure people do worse.'

'Maybe.'

'What then?'

'He fastened up and vanished. I went to wash my hands but still felt ungratified.'

'Still some way to go?'

'Don't worry the car crash was round the next bend. I considered reneging on my promise of going home alone. But unbelievably the next shark swam in and tried exactly the same thing the first had.'

'He dragged you onto the dance floor?'

'He tried but it didn't feel right. And when he pulled my hand to his crotch I knew it was wrong. He laughed. But not at me – someone behind me.'

'Who?'

'The first lad.'

'No. What did you do?'

'I wanted to die of embarrassment. But I hid it and went to touch the new lad's face. I dug my nails into his ear and grabbed a nipple through his shirt. I told him exactly what I thought of him.'

'Good for you Amy.'

'Then I shoved him backwards and stormed to the exit but the first lad tried to stop me.'

'Crikey. Were you scared?'

'Terrified. As he bent forwards I threw the heel of my hand into his nose. I didn't stop till I got back here.'

'You could have been followed.'

'Doubt it. It was humiliating for them as well as me.'

'I bet. What then?'

'Nothing. Calvin was lovely to me but I couldn't tell him what happened. God I never felt so dirty. I've not been back there and like I said it's kinda put me off men.'

'I can imagine,' Katherine said. 'I'm really impressed how you handled it.'

'Well that makes one of us at least,' Amy said. 'Nice to have told someone though.'

'So in light of all you've just said where does that leave you?'

'I want my self-esteem raised as much as ever. And,' she said looking away, 'I do wonder where Danny fits into all this.'

'Who knows. We can't control his feelings. But as your self-appreciation rises you'll be able to more clearly understand your feelings for him. Then when you're ready you'll attract the type of man you want into the relationship you want.'

## Wednesday 28th September 1983

On Wednesday evening Danny, Calvin and Raphael crashed through the front door.

'What happened to you?' Danny asked stopping short on the landing.

Amy, red faced and dripping in sweat said, 'Been running with Katherine. What's got you lot so excited?'

'We've got to thank John,' Calvin said. 'We're going to such a cool studio.'

'Hi darling, that's great.' Katherine appeared with shower-wet hair.

'You should ring to thank John,' Raphael said blatantly ogling her in the frayed towel scarcely covering her.

'After I've dressed, Raphael.' Turning to Calvin she said, 'Can I borrow you a moment?'

'Sure.'

Katherine pushed Calvin and followed him into his room. Kicking the door shut she said, 'Put your arms in the air babe.'

He looked perplexed but raised his arms like a cowboy at gunpoint. She pulled his T-shirt over his head.

Minutes later Katherine emerged from Calvin's room and phoned John as Amy made her way from the shower.

Everyone decided to go to the pub so in her room Amy tried some outfits sure she'd look good if she held a decent posture. Beginning to feel proud of her evident curves Amy warmed to the sway of her hips arguing that they looked big only on account of her relatively small waist – well from some angels at least. She applied makeup as she'd seen Katherine do.

She found Katherine and Calvin ready to leave.

'You look nice,' Katherine said appreciatively but Amy sensed she'd got something wrong somewhere in her ensemble. She put it to the back of her mind when none of the lads commented.

In the pub Katherine asked, 'What's the studio like?'

'It's like a space ship,' Danny said. 'The carpet's black, there's soundproof upvc rooms and diodes flashing everywhere.'

'Ze important thing is we listened to ze stuff they've recorded previously and it sounded pretty okay. It's not our style but it's better than ze other studios.'

## Friday 30th September 1983

On the same Friday morning as the girls left for Cumbria, the lads arrived at the studio before the owner. When Tom Tilson showed they rushed the gear in. Renting by the hour every moment had to be used productively. Raphael started tuning new drum heads. Soon Calvin and Danny had readied themselves.

Meanwhile in Victoria Coach Station Katherine and Amy boarded the National Express to Cumbria. The day before Amy had asked Katherine if she'd got anything visually wrong after their previous trip to the pub. What followed had been a lesson in makeup. Katherine explained colours and application. Under her guidance Amy learned that different skin tones benefited from different colours. With instructions to create different looks for different situations Amy sought to work with and beautify the characteristic tones she had rather than copy Katherine's colours and styles. Today, having kept up her naked mantra and with fresh makeup Amy felt confident amongst the half full coach of over forties who spoke with distinctive yet unfamiliar northern accents.

Escaping London took a frustrating age. After joining the motorways Amy started thinking the journey would never end.

Both girls managed to sleep for a while but Amy woke somewhere on the M6 with numbness and aching back. Standing she walked a partial length of the bus. Though not wanting to sit back down she had to take the weight of her left leg, now fizzing with pins and needles.

Hours later they hauled into motorway services near Kendal just inside the Cumbrian border. Amy had never been so far north. Getting off the bus she found the air crisp with a clarity she'd never experienced in London. The dark clouds suggested a later hour than her watch showed. Katherine took her hand and to get the circulation going again they skipped across the coach park, laughing all the way.

Back on the bus the laughter stopped. 'Just another couple of hours,' Katherine said without smiling.

The bus drove from the M6 towards Windermere. For Amy the terrain became more extraordinary as they continued towards Keswick. Mountains rose aggressively out of valleys. In the west the remaining sun sliced its way through bruised clouds that threatened torrential rain, thunder and rage. Katherine appeared unmoved. Amy couldn't understand but didn't want to peel her eyes from the view.

After passing the picturesque slate buildings of Keswick they rounded one final, giant mountain. From there the hills became grassy, lower and rolling.

Before long the sea appeared. Amy should have guessed not to expect turquoise tranquillity. Like the weather in the Lake District the sea swelled, disturbed with power. Ragged, brown in colour having churned up sand from its floor it punched and lashed the rocks exploding into furious white spray.

As they came closer to Katherine's hometown the houses turned from fine old Georgian to rendered council. The distant cliffs reached the horizon, where a chemical factory with two metal chimneys tirelessly raced fat swirling worms of smoke into the sky.

'We'll catch another bus to Mum's from the station,' Katherine said as they descended the final road into the town's centre.

Amy had assumed someone would pick them up by car.

Soon they stood queuing in the bus station watching one faded red Leyland double-decker follow another.

'You okay?' Amy asked.

'Yeah,' Katherine sighed. She looked kindly at her but Amy sensed apprehension. 'How you doing?'

'I'm okay.'

But in a rough bus station having left the security of the coach she felt uneasy. What had happened to Katherine? Despite having come to support her, Amy wanted a friend. Having dressed for London, Amy felt the thickly accented people staring. Unlike her companion who seemed to have exited, Amy knew her eyes would be wide with sensory overwhelm.

Katherine tied her hair back and slumped. Her normally piercing deep brown eyes suggested half day closing. Fixing her eyes on nothing but the far wall of the station she waited for the bus to arrive.

Despite wanting to leave, Amy's relief ended before it began when the bus spluttered up to the railing of cracked paint. The doors sprang open and out poured a nostril-insulting blend of stale cigarette smoke and rotten sweat. Like many of the passengers the driver looked rock hard, like he'd just as sooner kick your head in than sell you a ticket.

'Alright if we sit downstairs?' Katherine asked flatly.

Amy nearly asked how far it'd be to walk. 'I guess so.'

Once seated, the bus pulled away and Katherine reanimated slightly. 'Remember it's only a couple of nights.'

Amy nodded, fighting the urge to gawp at passengers. She listened to their unique language. The locals tagged 'eh' onto almost every sentence as if making it a question. The guttural vocal sound seemed to be generated high in the throat at the back of the mouth. Many of the words seemed foreign but for the frequent use of four-letter words.

The bus skirted the town centre, which looked in part to be quite nice before delving back into council greyness, 'The bowels of the town,' Katherine had said. _Oh my god,_ Amy thought sensing the Lakeland fells separating them from the rest of the world. Trapped in the back of beyond she reminded herself as Katherine had done, _It's only a couple of nights._

* * *

Sitting behind his newly skinned drums Raphael loved the sound until Tom recorded him. In the control room he detested the lameness – surely a result of Tom's mic placement. Tom suggested they record but Raphael refused. Danny helped reposition mics around the kit under Raphael's supervision.

In the control room Tom babbled to Calvin how drum machines give instantly gratifying sounds and don't make mistakes or complain. 'They'll take over,' he said as if he couldn't wait for that day.

The drums took most of the day-long session. From the moment they started everyone's concentration stayed focused. Calvin kept out the way when he could, not knowing how to take Tom's frustration which wound him up.

That said Tom changed his tune once Raphael came to record his parts saying he'd never worked with a drummer as accurate or expressive. With drums and percussion down they started on bass; thus began the next disagreement. Tom insisted Calvin plug the bass directly into the desk, bypassing his amp altogether.

Tom said, 'That's how The Beatles worked and if it's good enough for McCartney it's certainly good enough for you lot; like we'd ever get that thing sounding decent.' He nodded to Calvin's old rig.

Danny and Raphael eventually conceded to Tom's stubborn argument. Calvin let his rudeness pass but wouldn't forget it.

Getting on with things Calvin played so much his fingers throbbed. When they called it a day he sat back thinking again of Katherine and Amy.

* * *

Katherine knew she'd outgrown her birthplace as the bus drove deeper into the estate from where she'd fledged.

Feeling selfish for bringing Amy who looked like a rabbit in headlights Katherine reminded her, 'My mum's called Barbara and my dad's Alan.'

'I know,' her friend said. 'And your sisters are Sarah and Jayne.'

'They've moved out so hopefully we won't see them.'

Nearing the bus stop they stood to leave; Katherine spotted her mum waiting.

Finally Amy got a sense of welcome. Leaving the bus after Katherine, Amy looked upon a blonde lady in tight jeans, white jumper and stilettos smiling. But as they stepped towards her, Barbara's smile broke, her chin quivered and tears tumbled.

'Oh my beautiful Katherine,' she cried cupping her daughter's face. Katherine looked at Amy apologetically who, not knowing what to do, pulled Katherine's fallen bag from the curb and waited thinking the air smelt soapy.

Katherine would soon explain that the prevailing trade winds from the Irish Sea carried the chemical plant's detergent fumes across the estate. People here had given up on their gardens as even weeds struggled to grow.

'It's okay mum, I'm here now.'

'I'm so sorry love, I'm a terrible mother.'

Amy admired her own fingernails thinking they looked good since she'd started manicuring them.

'Oh God sorry, you must be Amy,' Barbara croaked in her direction.

By the look of her tear ruined makeup Amy thought she had a closer family resemblance to Alice Cooper than Katherine.

'Shall we get going?' Katherine said after a soppy introduction.

'Can we get a drink in the club first?' Barbara said. 'I don't want your dad to see me all upset.'

The working man's club, great for cheesy cover bands and cheap drinks, lay across from the bus stop.

The girls followed Barbara to the family room away from the areas exclusive to men drinking flat beer and shooting discouraging looks.

Amy spent pennies buying drinks and joined Katherine and Barbara at a table that had seen too many games of bingo to imagine.

'You left me Katherine,' Barbara said blubbering again.

'I didn't leave you.'

'You said you were going to France. That was months ago. I've not seen or heard of you since.' Barbara's next wave of tears came. 'The worst thing is I don't blame you.'

Not knowing what to do with herself Amy watched mother berate herself and daughter dither. Though equally feminine, long limbed and curvaceous, Barbara looked yang compared to Katherine's yin. They shared the same facial features but with opposing colours. Katherine's near black eyes and hair suggested gypsy verve whilst Barbara's blue eyes and blonde wavy hair brought to mind wholesome nurture. Where Katherine's skin shone like gold Barbara's fairness had geisha purity. Amy listened to their accents. Barbara's sounded both working and middleclass.

Things got worse before better. When asked why she'd been gone so long Katherine said, 'He hates me.'

'Who hates you?' Barbara asked. When Katherine said nothing Barbara said, 'Oh you're exaggerating.'

Amy hadn't bought the notion of her dad hating her but Barbara's reaction did nothing to convince her otherwise.

'I don't belong here,' Katherine said.

Barbara's eyes widened. Then her chin wobbled again. 'I know you don't darling.' She pushed her hands towards Katherine who took them in hers.

Katherine sighed at Amy. Leaving one hand with her mum Katherine took Amy's hand and mouthed, _sorry._

Shaking herself Barbara asked, 'So, what have you been up to these last four months?'

'Well ...' Katherine started.

As two hours flipped by she recounted the full story. Barbara awed and shocked by Katherine's experiences shook her head scarcely able to believe the deceptive spell her daughter had cast over Saint Tropez's rich yachting fraternity. Amy noted the irony in Kate Bush's deception song, Babooshka, playing in the background.

Katherine illustrated the contrasting two worlds and how she'd felt treated in Cumbria. She talked of Calvin, his effect on her and her new life in London.

Barbara emotionally at sixes and sevens sat back and looking towards the ceiling reiterated, 'This place really isn't you is it? I'm so lucky you came back at all.'

Then she saw the time and panicked.

* * *

Outside gangs of clouds had descended bringing saturating drizzle. Barbara hoisted Katherine's bag as Amy ran with mother and daughter along the street of dead gardens, boarded windows and clapped out cars. At the house Barbara used her hip to charge the rot-swollen wooden gate. She led the way up a concrete path to a concrete house. The front door looked like a hefty kick from Danny would take it off its hinges.

'Come in Amy,' Barbara said as she followed Katherine. The three of them stood sopping in the cramped hall, their hair plastering their faces. Amy saw what she could of the modest but obviously clean house. The thoroughly vacuumed carpets and wiped Formica surfaces spotless of dust put shame to the London flat. The worst thing about the view sloughed in the living room. Alan, she presumed.

The man didn't look from the sport on the black and white TV. A dark skinned hand tested the weight of several cans of cheap lager before finding one containing, from what Katherine had previously suggested, his reason to be.

'Look Alan, Katherine's home,' Barbara said.

The lack of physical response chilled Amy who, not mistaking Alan's contempt, now believed that Katherine had not aggrandised his feelings towards her. With eyes fixed on the TV he said, 'Aye, a can see that eh.'

'Hi dad,' Katherine said.

No reaction.

'This is her friend Amy,' Barbara said.

_Thanks but no thanks,_ Amy thought as she timidly watched Alan's eye lids close and reopen – fixing on her. The hatred Alan had for Katherine turned upon her. She didn't breathe under the gaze sinking to her chin, neck and chest freezing her as Alan's contempt reordered forming contemptuous lust. She quivered exposed and humiliated as lecherous eyes dark, not like Katherine's but, like the coal he'd mined swept her hips, descending her legs to her feet and back up the length of her body to her face.

Amy's mind went inwards wishing herself to London. She thought of Danny saddened by the unquestionable truth of how helpless he'd be in such a situation. She unwittingly visualised Danny with his big frame and natural leadership crumble the moment anyone crossed him or so much as called his bluff.

Alan's eyes closed. Amy prepared to breathe. Alan looked back at the TV.

'Bonny lass eh?' he said in a low growl that Amy barely heard.

'Have you had anything to eat?' Barbara asked him.

Once more Alan's eyes closed. Amy imagined them rolling behind their lids.

'No Barbara,' he said in near whisper. 'Nowt. Yer never said when ye'd be back eh.'

'I'm sorry we're late. We just got caught up and ... time ran away. I'll put something on now.'

'Don't bother. I'll get me sell summit an git t' bed. Gan t' see about a job t'morra eh. Aye, on Saturday before ye ask.'

Just then before anyone could move the front door burst open. A tall girl younger than Katherine with a dark pony tail pushed her way in.

'Ooh, look what cat dragged in eh?' she said looking at Katherine still dripping wet. 'Yer never heard of an umbrella?'

'Don't be like that Jayne,' Barbara said.

'A fort you was just bullin' when yer said she's comin' back. Shi'd better not be stoppin' in mar room.'

'Jayne, you don't live here anymore. Why you here anyway?'

'Just gitten mare stuff eh.' Jayne made her way into the living room and sat on the arm of Alan's chair to hug him. 'Arrite Dad.'

He welcomed and reciprocated his daughter's hug. 'Arrite lass, how ya deeing?'

'Good fanx.' She kissed his head and rose smiling at the trio in the hall communicating her pride in finding favour with him.

_You want his affection?_ Amy thought, _you're welcome to it_. Jayne's smile disappeared as she looked at Katherine before dashing upstairs. Amy felt invisible.

Upstairs, after Jayne had left, Katherine and Amy arranged to share her old room. Alan went to bed with Barbara close on his heels. Amy climbed into the spare bed not relaxed but relieved to have Katherine so close by.

## Saturday 01st October 1983

Before morning Amy dreamed of a terrifying black smoke chasing her. She found Danny but he couldn't summon the courage to help. Left fending for herself she accepted the fear but found it passing as it became apparent that the smoke had no grounds to hurt her.

Partially waking, Amy recalled her surroundings. Opening one eye she saw Katherine sleeping across the room. Analysing the dream she decided the smoke had been Alan and that despite his nastiness he had no reason to harm her.

Danny, on the other hand, had and would surely let her down. With improved self-esteem Amy's feelings clarified realising she couldn't count on him to love or rescue her.

Rising before Katherine, Amy found Barbara in the kitchen. Harmless or not she nevertheless smiled when Barbara told her that Alan had left early for his job interview.

Learning more about her, Amy decided she liked Barbara believing she hadn't a bad bone in her but wondered how she tolerated Alan's bullying to the point of alienating her daughter.

Barbara said, 'I've been very good at pretending things are alright; losing Katherine's made me see otherwise.'

'But, what's Katherine done to make her dad so angry?'

'Nothing,' Barbara said looking at the floor. 'She's only ever been a good girl.'

_Well there must be some reason,_ Amy thought.

She looked past Barbara to a photo and asked, 'Is that you?'

'Years ago with Alan. Hard to believe now.'

'You look incredible,' Amy said studying the teenage couple. 'Easy to see where Katherine gets her good looks.'

'And just look at the trouble that's brought her. Beauty's more trouble than it's worth.'

'You can't mean that,' Amy said when Barbara touched the frame sentimentally.

Barbara told her that she had been born into relative wealth; a strict East Cumbrian family who provided equipment to farms throughout Cumbria.

She'd travelled to farms with her father and met Alan, at the time a young farmhand.

'My dad despised him and the way he looked at me his virgin daughter. But at seventeen that got me curious. Alan's dirtiness got the better of me and within weeks I fell pregnant with Katherine's sister, Sarah.'

Amy learnt Barbara's parents had hit the roof and insisted on an abortion. But Alan's staunchly Catholic family fiercely opposed, applying pressure in equal amounts.

'Not able to please both families I caved to Alan's request and without the blessing of my parents married on my eighteenth birthday. I've never spoken to my parents since.'

Instead she'd been dedicated to her husband and girls none of whom had met their maternal grandparents.

'I knew marrying Alan was a mistake even before the vows but when you're responsible for a child your own happiness or misery becomes irrelevant.'

'So you were miserable?'

'Yes but I didn't dare think of leaving. I hardly had time to think before Katherine came along.'

'Alan's favourite,' Amy said sarcastically.

Barbara shook her head as if to be free of her comment. 'Alan became aggressively insecure. He hated other men looking at me. I cursed my beauty. When Katherine turned out so beautiful I worried and warned her. Now look at her. I don't know what to make of this Saint Tropez drama.'

'Despite your reasons I can't agree,' Amy said. 'Katherine's been teaching me to see myself as beautiful and it's amazing. She set me homework and I've learnt that beauty really is a choice. It starts with decision which brings about changes in posture and facial expression. Katherine's incredible.'

When Amy explained her situation and her fantasies of Danny, Barbara said, 'You deserve better than him.'

'You deserve better than Alan.' Amy clamped her hand to her mouth. After a silence she asked. 'Why does he hate Katherine?'

Barbara looked at Amy for the longest time then said, 'He hates me too.'

They heard footsteps. Katherine joined them. 'Dad not back yet?'

'I don't know where he is. Hopefully he's celebrating not drowning his sorrows.'

Katherine hoped he wouldn't come back drunk but needn't have worried.

By evening he still hadn't returned. Amy excused herself saying she'd get some fresh air and use a payphone.

Alone with her mum Katherine showed the photos of Calvin and Little Spirit she'd brought.

'Which one's Calvin?' Barbara asked.

'The blond one,' she said pointing.

'Lovely. Hope he's good enough for my favourite daughter.'

'What – don't say things like that,' Katherine said. But her mum only looked back as if daring Katherine to challenge the statement. Katherine could almost hear her telepathically confirming it.

In the end Barbara looked back at the photo and asked, 'Is the dark haired one Amy's heartthrob?'

'Yeah, Danny.'

'Another handsome lad, on second glance. He looks tough.'

'Yeah?'

'Is he?'

'He a pussy. He leads the band but leaves the confrontation for Calvin to sort out.'

'Oh, so Calvin's the tough guy?'

'He does okay,' Katherine said smiling.

'And who's the skinny poser?'

'Raphael, the drummer.'

'Looks like he fancies himself.'

'He's cool.'

'He knows it doesn't he?'

'Never doubts it.'

* * *

Not wanting to be on the house phone should Alan return, Amy jogged to the payphone opposite the club. Not wanting to speak to Danny she rang friends trusting Katherine would ring the flat.

Afterwards she looked at her remaining change and decided on another Greater London number. With 5p piece poised she waited for the phone to be answered.

'Hello—'

Pip-pip-pip-pip-pip.

In went the coin. 'Hi Mum, I just wanted to say I love you.'

## Sunday 02nd October 1983

Next morning in the kitchen Katherine asked her mum, 'Where's Dad, didn't he come home?'

'He didn't. But I think that most likely means he got the job.'

Not understanding that reasoning Katherine asked, 'Has he stayed out before?'

'Now and again.' Barbara busied herself at the sink.

An hour later Alan did come home. He dragged Barbara by the hand from the kitchen ignoring Katherine and Amy. The girls listened as his voice carried from the bedroom upstairs. He told her he'd accepted the job but she'd not see any earnings from it.

'All the DHSS benefits will stop. How am I supposed to live?' Barbara said.

'Gerra job. I 'ave, eh?'

'You've never allowed me a job,' she said with comparative calm especially considering how emotional she'd been upon Katherine's return.

'That's cause ye was brinin' up mar daughters. But thev'arl left now se ye ken gerra job. They divent need yer and Ar divent need t' be wasting marr money on ye.'

* * *

Later that afternoon Katherine and Amy packed ready to go.

'Lunch?' Barbara said trying to sound bright.

'Not here,' Katherine said. 'Get your coat you can see us to the bus station.'

At the door Barbara asked, 'Aren't you going to say bye to your dad?'

'Bye Dad,' Katherine called impassively. No response. Barbara gave her a certain look. 'Bye Dad,' Katherine said louder.

'Maybe he can't hear you,' Barbara said meekly.

'BYE, DAD!' Katherine screamed glaring at her mum waiting for the response that wouldn't come.

'Right, stuff him,' Barbara said. 'Stuff, him.'

Soon they tucked into the finest fish 'n' chips Amy had tasted.

'I don't want to lose you again,' Barbara said when Katherine made to board the coach.

'You've got our number.'

'I'll ring you.'

'You better. I need to know Dad's not killed you.'

'I'll be alright.'

'You reckon?'

'Of course.'

'We're only a coach ride away,' Amy said. 'You're welcome anytime.'

'Thank you. I'll bare that in mind.'

'In the meantime keep in contact,' Katherine said letting Amy pass her. Barbara finally stopped hugging her daughter.

'Make sure Calvin knows what a lucky lad he is.'

'He knows.'

* * *

On their last day of recording the band had sang well. Calvin had temporarily silenced Tom's dislike of his ignorance of sound-and-studio after recording his bass parts so well.

That said Calvin now sat at the back of the studio redundant and missing Katherine. Danny experimented with unnecessary vocal overdubs before joining them in the control room.

'It's weird, I know,' Danny said listening back to the suspiciously over dissonant harmony he'd just added.

'I can't work it out,' Tom said. Spinning his chair he faced Calvin and asked, 'What d'you think, is this in tune?'

Calvin's reverie broke hearing Danny's recorded voice leaping out at him. Everyone looked on awaiting his opinion, 'It's too loud.'

Tom exploded, 'Of course it's too loud. It's not the final mix! Is it in tune is all?'

No one spoke.

Calvin looked thoughtful nodding to himself. Raphael didn't know where to look but felt he should say something. 'Ze—'

'I know it's not a mix!' Calvin roared at Tom with eyebrows pulled together and jaw jutted forwards. 'How the hell do you expect me to answer your stupid question when you've turned his voice up so high it's crucifying everything else?'

Tom shrank into his chair but Calvin hadn't finished. Rising from the sofa he continued. 'You'd do well to remember who's paying for these sessions. You're not doing us a favour and I won't stand to pay for someone half my size trying to belittle me.'

Tom cowered like a puppy caught peeing on the carpet. He spun round to the desk and rearranged the faders. Danny no longer cared how his harmony sounded. He wanted to applaud Calvin wishing he had his courage.

* * *

After another long journey the coach pulled into Victoria. Katherine got up before Amy. Joining the queue of passengers leaving the coach Amy, tired and stiff couldn't face the tube trip back to Chingford. But as she stood between passengers she could see Katherine stepping into the bay and, to her surprise, Calvin's arms. She watched the two locking like neighbouring jigsaw pieces. Neither spoke until, once in her earshot, Calvin asked her, 'Ready to come home?'

'Ooh, big hug,' Amy said interrupting and joining their moment. 'I don't suppose Raphael's car's round the corner?'

'Yup, illegally parked,' Calvin said.

* * *

For Raphael they couldn't get off the double yellow lines quickly enough. The back door sprang open and Raphael saw in his driving mirror Calvin end up sandwiched between the two girls.

'Thanks Raphael,' Amy said slamming the door. 'You're a lifesaver.'

'Thank Calvin, it was his idea.'

'Thanks Calvin,' both girls said.

Next to Raphael Danny sat and smiling turned to see Calvin getting both cheeks kissed. Happy to see Amy again Danny decided he'd ask her to come running with him.

'Where are the instruments?' Amy asked.

'The gear's back at the flat,' Danny said.

No Answer.

When Amy asked in hushed tones why they hadn't their instruments, Danny guessed she'd asked Calvin not him. Calvin explained that they'd only needed voices that day.

Amy realised Danny hadn't encouraged her to feel more than friendship. Still, she smarted from having been let down by him, if only in her dream smoke-terrorised. She decided she didn't want to be besotted anymore. But worse than that, though she'd missed him, she found herself not wanting anything to do with him – friends or otherwise.

Raphael dropped them at the flat and headed for Hemel. Katherine and Calvin locked themselves away for the night. Normally Amy would have followed Danny like his shadow but she left him in solitude.

In her room after spending time telling herself she had a beautiful tummy she lay on the floor and blasted into sit-ups.

## Wednesday 05th October 1983

Over the next couple of days Amy avoided Danny. On Wednesday she felt an inexplicable desire to be mean. She made cups of tea for Katherine and Calvin right when she knew Danny would arrive home.

'Hi Amy,' Danny said sweetly just as Amy handed the mugs out.

'Hi,' she said taking hers from the counter without offering him one.

'You had a good day?'

'Yeah.'

'You making teas?'

'Kettle's just boiled.'

'Oh,' he said getting the message. Amy watched his expression fall. He nodded acknowledging that he'd have to make his own.

She went into the landing hating herself knowing Danny couldn't be blamed for the past grief he'd caused her but what could she do? She couldn't be his friend pretending she'd never been in love with him – if that's even what she'd felt.

## Thursday 06th October 1983

By Thursday Danny had seen little of Amy. Alone in the living room with the inlay card designs he missed her company.

'That girl's putting me through my paces,' Katherine said interrupting his loneliness on her way to the shower.'

'What d'you mean?'

'Everything,' she said. 'Sit-ups, running she's mad for it all. I can hardly keep up.'

'Really?' Danny grimaced with rejection. Twice that week he'd asked Amy to go running with him and both times she'd declined.

'She'll be applying for Olympic grants soon,' Katherine said and seeing his work asked, 'Are these inlay card designs?'

'Yeah,' Danny said grateful of the subject change. 'The paint's cracking on the backdrop. The more distressed it gets the better it looks so I'm redesigning the logo with fissures. Calvin's printing company need the designs soon.'

'What you're doing gets my vote,' she said leaving him to it.

Two hours later and still alone Danny sat watching TV. Having completed the inlay card he decided to go to bed. Dropping the designs in his room he headed towards the bathroom but paused at Calvin's door longing for some company.

On his way back still wiping toothpaste from his lips he bumped into Amy.

'Oh?' she said stopping in her tracks with an uncomfortable expression.

Chickening out of querying her problem Danny instead asked, 'D'you wanna come for a run with me tomorrow night?'

He saw her answer before hearing it. After a moment she shook her head telling him no. He let her passed him but called after her, 'Why not?'

'I've arranged to run, with Katherine.'

'I'll come with you.'

If Amy replied he didn't take notice. He'd seen her head shake.

## Friday 07th October 1983

The next morning Danny woke early but stayed in bed until after Amy left for lectures. Minutes later Calvin's door opened. Hearing his signature footfall, Danny jumped up, pulled jeans on and grabbing the inlay card designs.

'Morning mate,' Calvin said sinking bread in the toaster. 'You alright?'

'Yeah,' Danny said giving his shoulder a squeeze and handing him the artwork.

Scanning the sheets Calvin said, 'Hey well done these look ideal. You'll meet my boss and Joe they're coming to the Sunday Dog and Parrot gig. Submit them then if you like.'

When Danny didn't say anything Calvin asked, 'You sure you're alright?'

'I don't know. I'm feeling weird around Amy.'

'How so?' Calvin asked grabbing the butter.

'She's off with me,' Danny grumbled. 'I thought you might know what I've done to upset her.'

'I hadn't noticed – time of the month?'

'Maybe. Katherine's not said anything?'

He shook his head. 'Nothing, but speak of the devil.'

Just then a sleepy Katherine stepped into the living room carrying a near full bottle of red wine Calvin recognised as one that had been opened and forgotten about days earlier.

'Babe, Danny reckons Amy doesn't like him,' Calvin said as if not believing his own words.

Katherine pursed her lips. Though Amy hadn't said anything she'd sensed Amy's changed behaviour towards Danny who now looked at her with expectation.

She put the bottle of wasted red on the kitchen counter. 'Have you spoken to her?' She knew he wouldn't have. When he shook his head she said, 'Look, she's taken stock of her life and is making changes. It'll be fine.'

Danny's face looked like that of the family spaniel. Resisting the urge to smile Katherine suggested he talk to her.

'I guess she seems more grown up,' Danny said.

'And she's drinking less, not sleeping around, studying hard and exercising harder.'

'We noticed she wasn't sleeping round didn't we?' Calvin said to Danny.

'Yeah, thought she was losing her sex drive.'

'Hardly, not that it's our business.'

'Sorry,' Danny said. 'I asked her to come running tonight but she said she's running with you.'

Calvin shot Katherine a questioning look. Without chance to spare Amy a thought she said, 'No, Calvin's taking me out for a romantic meal.'

* * *

After poly Amy headed to Katherine's pub. Finding her not too busy she kept her fingers crossed and asked, 'D'you fancy going jogging after your shift?'

'I'm out tonight remember?'

'No, damn, argh, I'd forgotten. Couldn't we go before you leave?'

'I wondered but there won't be time,' she said regretfully. 'I'm sure Danny would love to go with you?'

Amy tensed. 'Nah, I might go and see friends instead.' She slumped on a bar stool knowing whether she saw friends or not she'd look like a liar. She decided she may as well head back to the flat. If it came to it she'd manage a run round the park with Danny.

* * *

Meandering back to the flat after his shift Danny figured Amy would avoid awkwardness and stay out a night or two. Whilst anticipating another lonely night he stopped on the stairs hearing music from Amy's room. _She's in?_

Under the grip of an October cold snap Amy had switched her heater on but her room had failed to warm. Working on a poly assignment with hot water bottle in her lap she stayed until needing to reheat it. She guessed Danny would be in his room. Opening her door she paused.

Silence.

With deep breath she strode into the living room but halted seeing Danny crashed out, sleeping heftily in an armchair. Still in work clothes he had food on his T-shirt, one hand resting down his pants the other clutching an empty wine bottle. _How could I ever have found that attractive?_ Reminded of Katherine's revolting, drunken father she irrationally imagined Danny growing into someone that awful.

She remembered the scene from the movie Kes where Billy approaches his hatful older brother who'd collapsed in an alcoholic slumber. Like Billy, safe from violent retribution, Amy expressed what she thought of Danny as Billy had his brother.

With Danny not moving a muscle Amy whispered, 'You're no hero.' No response. _He must have necked the entire bottle._ She inspected his reeking breath as he suddenly burped. 'You're a disgrace.' Still nothing. Forgetting the man she'd adored on stage she only saw a slob in front of her. Remembering the ordeal she'd faced in the Hippodrome and her grievous dream she said, 'I need a knight in shining armour. You're a waste of space, a disgrace.'

Leaving for the kitchen she found the kettle already warm. Puzzled by this she became dazed to see red wine splattered in the sink. Getting a grip she peered back round the kitchen's door frame into the living room and saw Danny where she'd left him. Not sleeping.

Danny sat wide awake, bolt upright and furious. A cocktail of emotions befuddled Amy's mind as she tried to ascertain the situation. Anger and embarrassment presented themselves but also fear having riled a man who looked far sharper than Katherine's drunken father and stronger than the waster she'd just accused him of being.

'Oh, Danny,' she shouted. Abandoning her hot water bottle she sped for the door. Her fingers almost connected with its handle but Danny had pounced bullet-fast. The handle vanished as the door bashed into the frame trapping Amy on the wrong side.

Danny's hands grabbed her shoulders forcing her to face him. She didn't raise her eyes higher than his chest but yelled, 'Let me, go!'

To her relief his hands fell from her shoulders allowing her to flee.

Inside her room leaning against the closed door she whispered, 'Oh my God.'

* * *

At Hemel in his post studio excitement Raphael had bought a headset microphone so he could drum and sing without craning his neck. His mum interrupted him playing air-drums in his room to say he'd a call from Danny.

At the phone he said, 'Hey I've bought a headset mic. Can't wait to try it out tomorrow.'

'Really that's cool.'

After some minutes of conversation Raphael asked, 'Is everything okay, I'm guessing you weren't just ringing for a chat?'

'Maybe.'

Raphael noted the downturn in Danny's voice. 'Maybe?'

'Something weird's just happened.'

'Oh?'

'I think Amy hates me.'

'What? Not she doesn't.'

Danny pulled the phone into his room for privacy and launched into what had just happened and how Amy had ignored, avoided, slighted and lied to him.

'Sorry Danny,' Raphael said not understanding, 'tell me again why did you have ze wine bottle with you?'

'Because I'd forgotten it was stale. I emptied it into the sink and by chance took the bottle back into the living room. I was using it to play slide guitar.'

'I see.'

'When I heard Amy's door I pretended to be asleep to avoid awkwardness. I must have looked rough still in work clothes with food stains.'

'Not good. So she thought you were drunk because of ze bottle and your breath. But then saw wine in ze sink?'

'Yeah but she said horrible stuff ...'

'Hmm, sounds like she hates you alright.'

'That's what I just said.' Danny throttled the receiver wishing Raphael had stuck with saying she didn't hate him. He heard Raphael chuckle. 'Come on this ain't funny. I'm desperate here.'

'Okay, I'm joking. Amy doesn't hate you.'

'I can't think what I've done. I love Amy, she's one of my best mates. Or she was at least.'

'There's your problem.'

'Where's my problem?'

'Mates,' Raphael said. 'You say _mates,_ she says something else. But you've not been interested enough to read the real signs.'

'Well, I'm bloody well interested now.'

'Really?' Raphael paused for effect. 'I shouldn't be ze one to tell you something you may not want to hear.'

'Well someone better say something.'

'Amy doesn't hate you – she loves you.'

'Me too but—'

'She's _in_ love with you.'

The phone line went silent as words failed Danny. 'Alright, I like that more than Amy hating me but come on mate that's ridiculous. I mean she took you to bed not me remember?'

'I remember. But what would you do if you couldn't have ze person you want?'

'I don't know, moan about it?'

'Possibly. Or share your bed with someone else. Then ditch them.'

'She dumped you because you weren't me?'

'Well in my case,' Raphael said smugly, 'I'd say _I_ dumped _her_ because I wasn't you. A job that would've been harder if she looked then as good as she looks now.'

'You dumped her?'

'Well ... Look ze point is ze next day I saw her with you – ze person she wants.'

'You sure about this?'

'Oui. I've know you guys long enough; seen confirmation enough times.'

'You could've told me?'

'I could but it's not my job. Seriously though didn't you notice how unhappy she was when you copped off with Alison?'

'She seemed fine. You and Amy ever spoken of this?'

'Never.'

'How've you spotted it when nobody else has?'

'I don't know. Maybe French intuition.'

'So Calvin doesn't know?'

'Calvin?' Raphael sniggered. 'Doubt it. Katherine might though.'

'I don't know what to make of this.'

'Yes you do. It's new information but you'll get your head around it.'

'Crazy, my best female friend in love with me?'

'And she's gorgeous.'

'What?'

'Come on, you're not blind. Katherine isn't ze only stunner in that flat.'

'Yeah but, I thought I was the other one.'

'Only when I'm not around,' Raphael laughed. 'Anyway, you'll see what you want to. And for ze record I apologise for crossing ze line with her. If I'd seen signs in Ze Dog and Parrot I never would have pursued her. Her heart belongs to you.'

'Cheers and all but I don't think I could fancy her knowing you've already had her.'

'Actually, I don't think I was her first.'

'No but, I know you. It'd be weird.'

'Amy's never mentioned that night?'

'No – why would she?'

'I'd hoped never to have mention this but that night I sensed Amy wasn't really up for it; if you know what I mean. Ze next day I realised why – you. Anyway, I wasn't in a fit state to perform anyway.'

'No?'

Raphael explained about coming back to the flat with food. 'That rancid burger churned in my stomach. I didn't tell Amy – just held everything in. And romantically ... nothing happened. We didn't even get naked. I feel awful, she must have wondered what ze hell I was still doing there in ze morning.'

'Crikey,' Danny said thinking back. 'Actually, did you use the bathroom in the early hours?'

'Maybe, why?'

'Right, that explains it.'

'I don't wish to hear this.'

'I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, not realising either you or Amy were in, blamed the stink on Calvin. Mate, your guts must have been destroyed.'

'Thanks Danny.'

'And that's why you were shivery and aloof the next day,' Danny said enjoying the _aha_ moment.

'Terrible.'

'What am I going to do about Amy though?'

'Talk to her.'

'That's what Katherine said; can't you suggest anything else?'

* * *

In her room Amy had stood breathless. She didn't know what would happen next. They'd have to talk but not tonight. Danny had amazed her. She recalled him gripping her shoulders; a rare and un-cowardly action for him.

Now Amy listened to Danny's half of the telephone conversation unable to detect enough words to pick up the thread. _Who's he telling?_ she wondered feeling ashamed, trapped and vulnerable. Powerless to think or sleep she willed Calvin and Katherine to come home.

However, when they did Danny beat her to them. She stayed put listening, hoping they'd talk about anything but her. With her ear pressed to the door she thought Danny spirits sounded high. The gist of the conversation seemed to be about the band's inlay card. When the conversation ended she turned the light off and tried to sleep.

Minutes later the all too familiar sound of Calvin's banging headboard commenced. As the rhythm steadied another banging began.

'Amy, I'm coming in,' Danny said knocking.

Having already pushed open the door Amy laid still in the darkness. 'Okay.'

'I just want to say I'm sorry about before. I'm sorry if I scared you or tricked you. I'm sorry for whatever I've done for you not to like me anymore. You're my most favourite girl in the world.'

'Thanks Danny,' Amy managed to say as her heart went out to him. 'You're my favourite too.'

'We can talk when you're ready.'

Amy rolled onto her side turning her back on him. 'Thank you. We'll talk soon.' His understanding and patience tore at her heart yet still she recoiled when he kissed her cheek and stroked her hair.

## Saturday 08th October 1983

The next morning Calvin stirred hearing someone leave the flat. He wondered who and why someone would up so early on a Saturday. After enjoying a longer lie in than Katherine he got up and found her in the living room with Danny.

'Tense atmosphere, what's going on?'

'I found this,' Danny said handing him a note.

Calvin read, ' _Hi guys, have a nice weekend. At mum's see you Sunday, love Amy.'_ He handed it back. 'That's okay isn't it?'

'I don't know. We had a row last night.'

'No way, why?'

'Because, well, I phoned Raphael afterwards and, get this,' Danny said laughing, 'he thinks Amy's in love with me.'

Calvin burst out laughing. 'That is funny.'

When Katherine's expression remained serious their laughter slowed.

'Babe, you're not laughing?'

'No, and I won't laugh at Amy,' she tried saying but caught their giggles too.

'That's my girl,' Calvin said.

Katherine hid behind a cushion and laughed dirtily. 'Stop it you horrible buggers.'

'Come on, Amy loves Danny?' Calvin said; his tone disbelieving.

Teary eyed Katherine said, 'How would you two feel if you had to see someone every day that you felt strongly for but couldn't do anything about?'

'I dunno,' Calvin said. 'You're not saying it's true?

'Why didn't she say something?' Danny said.

'Why didn't she say something?' Katherine shook her head. 'You're best friends living together. She thinks you'd reject her.'

Danny didn't feel like laughing anymore knowing Katherine had a point. But Amy had changed and continued to do so. Now Danny wondered whether he could fancy her as indeed he had when they'd first met before their friendship developed and other girls absorbed his attention.

'Okay,' Danny said at last, 'I'm gonna go see her in Chelmsford, right now.'

'What?' Calvin and Katherine chorused.

'Don't worry I'll be back in time for the gig.'

'D'you even know her mum's address?' Calvin asked.

'Easy,' Danny said leaving for Amy's room. When he came back he had a letter forwarded to the flat by her mum. 'I can still make out the original address. And her mum's number's by the phone.'

* * *

Amy arrived early at her parents' Chelmsford home. Though her mum wanted to cook her breakfast she dropped her bag off and changed preferring to run in the nearby park first.

Chanting a rhythmic mantra she powered along hardly believing the joy running gave compared to how miserable a chore it seemed weeks earlier. It certainly felt better than having to face Danny.

Back in the house she showered and dressed for comfort. After breakfast she cuddled into her mum on the sofa until the phone rang.

'Hello,' her mum said having got up. _Pause,_ 'Yes.' _Pause,_ 'Oh hello, I'll just–' _Pause,_ 'Lovely, we'll see you in five minutes. Bye for now.'

'Five minutes!' Amy shrieked when her mum explained that Danny and just hung up. 'He can't see me like this.'

Dashing upstairs she sat in front of her old bedroom mirror and tied her hair up. _Eyeliner, shadow, mascara, lipstick, enough, done. What to wear? Nothing. Everything's in the wash_.

'Hey, what you doing? Amy's sister said as she burst through her door.

'Michelle this is an emergency.' She grabbed a pair of jeans.

'You won't get your fat arse in them,' Michelle tutted. Unlike her sister Amy hadn't inherited their dad's beanpole physic.

Fastening the button Amy slapped the stretchy denim. 'Slimmer than you think, or maybe your behind is fatter.'

'Your belly's spilling out.'

'No it's not,' Amy said holding it in.

'He's here,' her mum called upstairs. _I know that, we heard the doorbell too._

'I'm borrowing this jumper.' Amy pulled on a deep V-neck.

'Fine, if you don't mind him seeing your boobs.'

Amy pulled at the neck. 'Might not be a bad thing,' she said pleased with the effect. Whilst shaking her hair loose she remembered Katherine's advice that heels make people look slimmer. _The higher the better._

* * *

Downstairs making to sit, Danny's backside only just touched the sofa when Amy stepped into the living room. Standing, back to the window the morning's light exploded around her silhouette – all legs and curves.

Amy spoke first. 'Get your shoes let's walk.'

'Your mum's just put the kettle on.'

'Tough, I'm not doing this here.'

* * *

Later that evening Katherine wandered along to The Lion for the first Little Spirit gig in Danny's pub. The band had gone ahead to set up and she looked forward to seeing Danny.

'How did it go in Chelmsford?' she asked spotting him inside.

'With Amy – terrible,' he said unhappily.

Sitting with the band on bench seats Katherine had feared as much. Her heart sank. She hoped the flat's happy dynamic wouldn't crumble.

Raphael grinned shaking his head as Danny told her how he'd tried snogging her.

Through a cringe induced squint Katherine asked, 'How did that go down?'

'Down?' Danny said caustically. 'Like an elevator with a snapped cable.'

Katherine considered the implications but when Raphael's sniggering caught her eye she couldn't suppress a giggle.

'I can't believe you came on to her,' she said and hugged the forlorn Danny.

'I'm delighted you're all so pleased with how this is going.'

'What were you thinking?'

'You two said she was in love with me,' he pointed at Katherine and Raphael.

Calvin listened neither speaking nor laughing.

'And?' Katherine said.

'And she looked hot. Raphael you're right she's gorgeous.'

'So you just thought you'd get off with her?'

'I don't understand alright?' Danny snapped. 'Amy's had more blokes than I've had hot dinners but she rejects me? You two talk crap. I've been led a right merry dance.'

'God, I'm sorry,' Katherine said regretting laughing. 'All those guys Amy had whilst you were having hot dinners were expendable – losers;' looking at Raphael she added, 'with exception.'

'Merci,' Raphael said brushing the comment aside.

Katherine took Danny's hand. 'Amy's lived a long time with feelings for you that have never been rewarded. Maybe she feels they're a waste of time. But also she won't want to enjoy you for a night then lose you to the next girl who comes along. You can't just kiss her and expect everything to be alright.'

Looking confused Danny asked, 'So are you saying she rejected me because she fancies me or because she doesn't?'

'Both, sort of.'

'What Katherine is saying,' Raphael said sounding composed, 'is Amy is done with one night stands. She is becoming a beautiful adult woman worthy of a committed relationship.'

'Okay, I follow.'

'Seriously, you can't just kiss or sleep with her. If you of all people try anything like zat you must convince her that you're committed and worthy of a proper relationship.'

'And,' Katherine said, 'it's because she's maturing you can't assume you're worthy just because she's had a schoolgirl crush on you for ages.'

'So it's all about her?'

'It usually is,' Calvin said stroking Katherine's knee.

Katherine smiled but said to Danny, 'Amy isn't a play thing.'

'Now that girl over there,' Raphael said looking into the room, 'she's different.'

Katherine didn't look she'd already spotted the brunette smiling in his direction. Instead she thought about Amy and hoped she'd be okay.

Try as he might, Danny still couldn't see why Amy hadn't kissed him and after they played to the full pub putting a smile on Liz's face he mentioned it again to Raphael.

'Danny, Katherine's right about Amy not being a play thing. But there's something really important that you missed. I'll show you where you went wrong. Observe.'

With that Raphael crossed the room to join the brunette who'd been eyeing him all night. Danny watched Raphael touch her cheek and whisper something. Two seconds passed before she wrapped her arms round him and kissed him. Danny turned and packed his gear away.

When he saw Raphael later he asked, 'What was the point of that?'

'Ze point was, that girl, was in ze right frame of mind to be kissed. My guess is Amy wasn't.'

## Sunday 09th October 1983

The next day the band returned to the studio to mix the song's they'd recorded. When they stepped through the door Calvin smiled just like the first day. The electrical smell from the equipment activated a week-old nostalgia. When Tom rewound the Ampex 16-track tape machine every uniquely distinctive clunk and whir brought Calvin's imagination an inch closer to their rock star dreams.

Calvin thought the songs sounded terrific through the big monitors. He'd bought a 5-pack of Sony cassettes in the hope they'd get copies of the finished songs before ordering 500 duplicates.

Throughout the intense day Calvin brought creative ideas to add to the mix. Danny and Raphael knew what sounded good and wouldn't let Tom move on until things sounded their best. Tom though exasperated at times behaved well.

Unfortunately some recorded performances had been compromised due to time restrictions. They lacked the excitement they deserved. The concentration involved in getting parts right could almost be heard at the expense of the spontaneity they'd have preferred.

Tom didn't agree. He thought they'd recorded with brilliance saying, 'These songs are out of this world. You'll have a record deal before the end of the year if you keep gigging hard.'

Afterwards the boys called at the flat before their Dog and Parrot gig. Katherine jumped up to meet them eager to hear their mixed demo.

'Amy should be here for this,' Raphael said as they crowded Danny's tape machine.

'Let's just see how we get on,' Danny said pressing play.

Katherine thought it sounded like proper music and would surely leave the listener in no doubt as to the quality of the songs.

'Pretty good,' Raphael said.

'Yup,' Danny agreed. 'Now for an experiment.' He picked up The Police's Synchronicity album and placed the needle on track-6, Synchronicity II.

By the middle of the first verse Raphael surprised no one saying, 'Blows us away.'

'Does it ever,' Danny said. Calvin looked disappointed.

'I suppose it's fair enough,' Raphael said. 'That song alone will have cost thousands and Tom's no Hugh Padgham.' Switching back to the demo Raphael said, 'Still sounds good. Just not amazing like Ze Police.'

Soon the boys headed out for soundcheck leaving Katherine to wait for Amy who arrived from her mum's looking the best she'd ever seen.

'I don't know why I was so hooked by him,' Amy said.

'After all that drama I'd hate for you to fallout,' Katherine said concerned for them both.

'Don't worry. Danny and I aren't falling out. I was besotted; now I'm fine.'

'Danny's really embarrassed by what's happened.'

'He'll get over it. He's not serious. I don't really know what he was thinking though.'

They did their makeup and stepped out for the pub. 'So what happened when he came in for the kiss?'

'I pushed him off and asked what the hell he was doing. Poor lad said,' Amy continued in a dumb sounding voice, ' _What you doin'? I thought that's what you wanted_.'

'Oh dear.'

'You should have seen him, it felt incredible. I tell you Katherine, if you'd have told me Danny would try and kiss me and I'd reject him ... It doesn't half feel good. Makes up for how ridiculous I felt the other night. He's done me a real favour.'

'That's great Amy. I hope none of this backfires on you?'

'What d'you mean?' she asked looking hurt.

'I'm sorry, I just mean be careful with your feelings; and Danny's for that matter. This isn't easy for him.'

'I know I'll be careful,' she said reaching the pub door before Katherine. 'And I'll be nice to Danny.'

* * *

On edge Danny waited for Katherine to turn up with Amy. When they came Amy exuded confidence and, in a deep V-neck jumper he'd not seen before she looked hotter than ever. She spoke more kindly to him than she had in days.

Danny's feelings of rejection dwindled and when the time to play arrived Amy became his raison d'être. They flew into the first song. High on adrenaline Danny thrust his pelvis into the back of his guitar. As he looked into the packed room the guitar riff seemed to play itself. Glancing left Danny saw Calvin rockin' his side of the room, feet rooted to the stage and body pulsing to the groove. Looking behind Raphael winked.

Resting his hands on silenced guitar Danny sang to the bass line feeling the stage tremble under the galvanized rhythm of drums and Calvin's stamping foot. He looked at the audience but thought only of Amy.

Later, off stage he managed a few private moments with Amy. He understood not to lead her on but no longer knew who held the lead. He stood before her and, as per Raphael's advice, turned sideways creating the illusion that he could walk off at any moment, thus making her work to keep him there.

'I'm sorry about yesterday,' he said.

'It's alright Danny. I'm sorry for the confusion.'

'What do you suggest we do?'

With less confidence than she'd had earlier Amy said, 'Nothing. Let's just see what happens and be friends again.'

Amy had observed that even ugly men can look attractive if seen doing something they're good at. She found Danny far from ugly anyway but, on stage having a good gig, he looked incredible.

Now in the aftermath of her euphoric confidence Amy felt sad as the tables of power redressed in Danny's favour. Before Little Spirit played she'd felt for the first time a more beautiful female than Danny a male. But minutes before taking the stage he'd gone into rock star mode. With dominant posture his clothes flattered his impressive physique. Amy had looked at other guys in the room but none came close to Danny.

Despite waning confidence she employed the tips Katherine had given her. Chin up, chest raised and pelvis level. The three Cs Katherine called them. Chin, Chest and Crotch. When Amy walked her three Cs led the way.

Calvin's boss Ian and workmate Joe had come along seeing the band for the first time. 'That was brilliant,' they said together.

'Thanks guys, it's high time you came to a gig.'

'If we'd known you were that good we'd have been along sooner,' Joe said. 'You've got a good following too. Did you see those girls singing along – how do they know the words?'

Calvin looked over thinking he might have seen them before. 'They might have bought our first attempt at recording,' he said without letting his pride show.

'You must be Danny,' Ian said when the guitarist approached with Raphael.

'Pleased to meet you both,' Danny said taking a seat beside Raphael and laying his proposed artwork on the table.

After some study Ian said, 'Lovely. Got your contact details clearly labelled. If you're happy I'll take these now and get started first thing tomorrow.' He gave Calvin a wink. 'There's one suggestion I'd like to make – about the posters not the inlay card.'

'Okay, we're open-minded,' Danny said.

'It's this John Saunders fellow.'

'Katherine's friend and our sponsor. John's name needs to be loud and clear,' Calvin said.

'Hmm, Katherine,' Ian said almost dreamily. 'I can see why he'd want to support you guys. I'm just wondering if you or he'd mind Proper Printing getting in on the act too.'

'What have you in mind?' Calvin asked.

'If you'd allow Proper Printing's details to be added to your posters and flyers we'd happily waive the cost of them. It'd surely be beneficial to us both.'

* * *

Back in the flat the band's excitement surpassed any of the deals Katherine had heard going down in Saint Tropez. On hearing the demo Amy refused to believe it lacked finesse.

Hearing it full whack Katherine felt proud being part of it despite her only contribution being that of providing the investor.

'It sounds different on each music system we try,' Calvin said.

'All music does but you're more in tune with ze subtleties of your own music,' Raphael said.

'You should have heard it in the studio,' Danny said to Amy. 'It sounded amazing,'

'It sounds amazing now,' she said. 'Can I have a tape for my room?'

'Of course you can. That's why Cal got five tapes.'

'I'm sure I've heard worse than this on Top of the Pops,' Calvin said.

'Top of ze Pops. Keep focusing on that goal.'

'Steady on guys,' Danny said. 'We still need the big deal before we can do that. It's not Rocky, Apollo's not gonna show up and give us a shot at the title.'

'I agree,' Raphael said. 'Ze demo's good, but it could be better. Easy hearing this through rose coloured hearing aids.'

Nevertheless it did sound good to Katherine who had no doubt that John would think so too. Her stomach twisted with the thought of their next meeting and Saint Tropez discussion. Nevertheless she told them she'd arrange an appointment for the next day.

'Thanks babe,' Calvin said. 'Tell him we should have the duplicates with inlay cards by Thursday. I'll get the bus and collect them Wednesday.'

'We need jiffy bags too,' Raphael said. 'And send one registered post to ourselves for copyright purposes.'

Danny said, 'Brilliant. I'll get the jiffy bags and stamps. We can start bagging the tapes the same night. We've got a list of all the national record companies so when we meet John we can show him how ready to go we are.'

'I'll start compiling lists of places to send the tapes,' Raphael said.

'Excellent stuff guys,' Amy said her eyes meeting Danny's somehow making them both feel awkward.

Danny looked away feeling weird again.

## Thursday 13th October 1983

That evening on his way for the arranged meeting with John at The Lion, Raphael drove against the flow of commuters exiting London. His ever frequent use of parents' cars caused him more anxiety than he shared with the band. He'd promised his mum a new one as soon as Little Spirit realised its dream.

* * *

Danny manned the bar. Katherine had scheduled the meeting for 7pm but before she or the band arrived, Danny spotted a Jaguar pull into the car park. Guessing it might be John his stomach looped-the-loop as shyness struck.

The door swung open and, right enough in stepped John, suited and larger than life. Danny watched him scan the room for familiar faces before catching his eye.

'Danny,' his voice boomed; striding across the room hand extended. Danny shook it ignoring the sideways glance from manageress Liz standing beside him.

'Great to see you John,' Danny said with compromised volume. 'What can I get you?'

'Bitter-shandy please my good man,' he said reaching for his wallet.

'I got this one.'

'Very decent of you.'

'Shift's nearly over,' Danny said. Behind John the pub's door opened again and Calvin and Raphael came in followed by a lovely looking Amy. Again Danny's stomach looped-the-loop.

'Is anyone else joining your party?' Liz asked.

'Just Katherine.'

'What's she drinking?'

'White wine usually.'

'Okay,' she said. 'Go and join your friends, I'll get you a round of drinks.'

'Thanks Liz.'

'You work hard love,' she said staring at John who'd turned to greet the others.

'D'you want me to put in a good word?'

'Don't suppose it'd hurt,' Liz smiled. Danny helped her prepare the round of drinks. 'Your blonde friend looks pretty.'

'Amy?' he said. 'Tell me about it.'

Katherine identified the group from John's bellowing voice. She saw him wearing Walkman headphones, presumably full of the band's work. Without compensated volume the compliments of his latest investment could be heard to the amusement of all. ' _Only When It's Saturday_ , ha, bloody brilliant song.'

'Saved you a seat,' Calvin told her once John fell silent listening.

John grinned at her then turned to everyone at the table. Removing his headphones he said, 'Excellent. A demo worthy of the Little Spirit I saw recently. So, how are the gigs going?'

'Got one tomorrow,' Calvin said. 'A venue we've not played – good reputation.'

'Yeah, where?'

'The Borderline off Charing Cross Road.'

'Rings a bell.' He checked his diary. 'I'll be there.'

'Fantastic,' Danny said adding, 'We're doing about two gigs a week generally.'

'Two a week?' John looked thoughtful. 'Not bad. You've got the demo. I'm wondering, what's the next level?'

Sitting straighter Danny said, 'Raphael's compiled a list of relevant labels to post others to and we've got the jiffy bags for the job.'

'Good going.' John looked at the list Raphael past him 'Five hundred labels – one for each tape?'

'Not quite that many,' Raphael said laughing. 'I rejected ze ones clearly dealing with other styles of music like country, classic or electronic.'

'So what about the spare tapes, sell them at gigs?'

'Exactly,' Danny said.

'We reckon we'll shift them in weeks,' Raphael said.

'Hmm, have we enough?' John pondered. 'I've not received the invoice from the studio. Can someone get on the phone first thing tomorrow? Tell them to knock up another five hundred and adjust the invoice. From what I remember the cost of duplication won't go up that much.'

'I'll do that,' Calvin said. 'I've got tomorrow off.'

'Good and get another few hundred more jiffy bags with stamps. Make sure you get a receipt and bring an invoice to the Borderline tomorrow.'

'Thanks John.'

'Why the extra jiffys?' Raphael asked.

'With the extra tapes you can hit publishing companies, radio stations and perhaps a few commercial studios around the country. You never know it could land in the hands of a decent producer who might take a shine to you. Might help your profile,' John said admiring his name in the demo's inlay card. 'Proper Printing's name's here.'

'In much smaller lights than yours,' Calvin said. 'They've said they'll do our posters for free if we reference them.'

'Well excellent,' John said. 'That another company is seen to be sponsoring you will create more record company confidence. Well done for swinging that one.'

'Pleased you approve.'

With a slurp of shandy John said, 'Now, two gigs a week might seem good but it'll take an eternity to build the necessary buzz. Have a think about anything else you could do to reach more people or make anything you do more memorable.'

'With a bit of luck people will buy the demo from gigs and their friends will hear the music,' Danny said.

'Definitely,' John said. 'But I'll bet you've got some superb ideas to move things along faster.'

'I've got one,' Calvin offered.

'Let's hear it.'

'It wouldn't work with low ceilings but I was thinking about a gymnastic springboard; to make our jumps unrealistically high. Might make the show more uniquely memorable.'

'Good one.'

'Ooh, I've got one,' Amy said coming to life.

'Amy,' John said. 'Lovely, what's your suggestion?'

'Oh,' she said. 'As cool as the backdrop is the name gets obscured behind the drums. So I was thinking an additional backdrop for the drum stage. Another piece of black material with Little Spirit painted on it.'

'Oh yeah,' Danny said. 'That's a really good idea. I can sort that out.'

'Good one Danny.' John glanced at his watch. 'Look, I've to get back into London. You guys have real energy. Let's list these ideas and see what comes of them.'

When John stood to leave they bid him well. Katherine hugged him and he whispered something of a return trip to France.

Rather than head for the door John walked to the bar where he took Liz's hand and thanked her before turning leaving her blushing.

Liz looked over to Danny. With a white lie he smiled back having forgotten to put a good word in for her.

## Friday 14th October 1983

The next night Katherine arrived with Amy into London's West end and its unmistakable vibe. They followed Calvin's poster trail from Tottenham Court Road tube station hoping there'd be a good turnout for John's coming along. Katherine had phoned Calvin on her lunch break but worryingly he'd complained of feeling too lethargic for a full on gig.

The girls spotted the band on the street greeting passers-by. Katherine admired his tremendous look in stage clothes.

'Hi Katherine,' he weakly said as his embracing arms hung off her.

'You okay sweetheart?'

'Yeah fine. Might have been overdoing the exercise lately.'

'You still feeling tired love?'

'And the rest of us,' Danny said.

'You don't want John seeing you like this,' Amy said. 'Is he here yet?'

'No sign of him.'

'Might be for the best,' Raphael muttered.

* * *

Inside, thirty minutes before show time, Katherine and Amy scanned the half-filled venue.

'I've got a bad feeling about this,' Katherine said.

Amy concurred. 'Hopefully it'll be fine,' she said looking proudly at the new Little Spirit banner leaping from the front of the drums. 'See the stage – that was my idea?'

'It looks ace. Danny did well to get it together so quickly especially as he's so tired.'

'I don't know what's up with them. They've never been so down in the mouth before playing.'

Over the next fifteen minutes more people arrived. The general volume of chatter rose as did the DJ's music. Katherine could feel a headache mounting.

Moments later a mass of noisy boys burst into the venue led by Stosh. Following them came the band making no noise.

When Calvin approached Katherine she asked, 'Still no sign of John?'

'Not unless he's slipped by us.'

Danny and Raphael circulated the venue sparking conversations with anyone they could. 'This is our new thing,' Calvin said. 'Meet outside, then affirm inside; strengthening the connection with the audience.'

'Suppose we'd best get backstage for last tune up,' Danny said finishing his circuit of the venue.

'You'll be great,' Amy said.

'Well, we'll see.'

Soon Over the din of Public Image Ltd the girls bizarrely heard what sounded like roaring from the backstage. In the ever filling room Katherine, not in the mood for being jostled, turned round to see the cause of the latest shoving and came face to face with John.

'My God, you made it.'

'Course I did,' John said. 'Didn't Calvin say?'

'Say what?'

'I passed by earlier; told him I'd gather some troops and be along before they started.' He motioned to a mixed group of office workers.

'Raphael's up,' Amy shouted as the audience prickled with anticipation. Looking to the stage they saw him seated behind his drums as the intro music crescendoed over the DJ's fading track.

Calvin and Danny slunk out. Dummm, came a test sound from the bass amp. Chikka went Danny's guitar. None of them looked interested in giving the audience a damn thing. The intro music came to an end and ...

'Oh my God they're crap,' Amy said. Looking worse than when Brian had been their drummer Raphael played almost nothing leaving the recorded percussion parts to ride the beat. Instead of all voices in only Calvin sang before seeming to give up after half a verse.

Amy watched the travesty until, ooh, you'd have to be a keen fan to have seen that. With faces still turned down she caught a wink between Calvin and Danny. Katherine gripped her hand as Calvin's bass quietly joined the empty mix. There followed a steady upwelling of volume to the chorus. And then just before the chorus ...

... silence?

... and then ...

Bang! Little Spirit rocked in full tilt. Calvin and Danny swapped sides Calvin jumping superhumanly high. Swapping back Danny rocketed from the springboard. He landed and all three voices belted out the chorus, with Raphael hammering into his ride cymbal. Amy and Katherine jumped up and down screaming.

Behind the drums without a clue as to whether this crazy idea had worked Raphael had faced his knees not glancing at the audience. When he finally got to look out into the packed venue he went nuts as did the audience.

Driving into verse-2 Raphael sighted Katherine and grinned as she shook her head, smiling but wagging an admonishing finger.

The risky trick had worked. In rehearsal Raphael had explained that everything is relative. Starting relatively unenergetically meant the crowd could really appreciate the energy when they turned it up.

After the show Amy linked arms with John not wanting to see him lose face with the suits he'd brought along.

'How much can I offer you to let us back there to see Little Spirit?'

When the doorman didn't budge having already stipulated that nobody but band and staff go backstage Amy said, 'Please tell them Amy says hurry up and get out here.' The doorman rolled his eyes and told them not to move.

Calvin, Danny and Raphael thankfully appeared having towel-mopped their brows. Soon handshakes, demos and cash exchanged hands.

Once the suits left, John tapped his nose. 'People like that mightn't be directly linked to the music business but their law skills might prove useful someday. Pleased you gave me the heads up on the trick you pulled at the start by the way.'

Katherine shot Danny a dirty look.

John pulled the list he'd made at the previous day's meeting from his jacket. 'You've already come on since yesterday. What can we tick off the list?

'Banner in front of drums,' Amy said.

'Well done,' John said. 'And springboard; nice addition. Jiffy bags?'

Calvin and Raphael told him they'd bought the jiffy bags and posted the first batch of demos to record companies.

'We've ordered the extra tapes and been to the library to gather a list of radio stations, publishers and recording studios,' Calvin said.

John showed the group the list with each item ticked. 'You've done extremely well. All that in twenty-four hours.'

* * *

When everyone hit the venue's bar John collared Katherine and said, 'The weather's still warm in Saint Tropez.'

She swallowed hard. 'I'm seriously restless about this.'

'I know, but everyone misses you.'

'We'll see about that after they hear the truth. If I'm still to be a bridesmaid I need to show face and check the wedding venues.'

'I'm flying out Monday after next. There's space and whatever happens you're welcome on my yacht. I won't stay long but you can stay as long as is right.'

'Thank you John. I'll get the time off work.' Katherine squeezed his arm; Amy squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

'You're part of what makes Saint Tropez great.'

'Oh I don't know about that.'

'It's true,' John said. 'And you're important to Little Spirit too.'

Amy had been counting on her fingers. 'You said, Monday after next?'

'Yup, 24th of October,' John said. 'Why d'you ask, you fancy joining us?'

'Could I, I've got a reading week then?' She smiled like someone who'd already packed.

'I'd love that,' Katherine said to John.

'Of course, the more the merrier. Hey you'll love my yacht won't she Katherine?'

* * *

Amy burst into Danny's attention her face beaming up at his. 'Guess who's going to Saint Tropez?' Unsure what to think Danny looked at the person who'd once cared for him.

Looking over at Calvin and Katherine who'd clocked his mixed expression Danny smiled, threw his arms around her and said, 'That's great news.' He hadn't instigated a hug with her in ages. She'd always been the one seeking him. Holding her body he revelled in missed sensations. But when he released her she wore the same flabbergasted look as when he'd tried kissing her.

'It's a shame you can't come too,' Katherine said to Calvin interrupting the changed mood.

'I miss you already,' he said. Though he would have liked to have gone he remembered feeling snubbed by her friends. 'You and Amy will have a great time.'

## Saturday 15th October 1983

The next day before their Saturday rehearsal everyone helped package tapes addressed to all corners of the music industry.

During conversation Amy asked, 'Before you played last night we thought we heard roaring.'

'That'd be us,' Raphael said. Calvin regarded Katherine with his silent smile.

Danny said, 'Nothing like a good roar to get you in the mood.'

'So you did that and then rolled out onto the stage like bears waking from hibernation?' Katherine asked.

'Wasn't easy,' Danny said getting to his feet. 'It's time for rehearsal guys. We'll need to dig deep for some other ideas.'

Once they'd gone Amy told Katherine, 'I don't know what to think.'

Katherine reading her mind said, 'About Danny?' Amy nodded. 'I don't suppose he does either.'

'When he hugged me last night it felt real. At least I could argue that he didn't mean it when he tried to kiss me.' Looking thoughtful she said, 'I'm thinking my romantic feelings towards him were based on there being no danger of anything actually happening.'

'What d'you mean?'

'Well, maybe I was happy wanting him when I knew he didn't want me – it was safe. Now, wanting isn't safe because something could happen and I could get hurt.'

'You think you've got commitment issues?'

## Monday 24th October 1983

Early on a chilly Monday the girls flew from England. When the time to bid Danny farewell arrived Amy opened her arms expecting brevity from Danny's embrace. Instead he'd bent down wrapping her in his arms, held tight and lifted her off her feet. Laughing she'd told him to put her down but he hadn't. He held her until she surrendered letting his sincerity penetrate.

Looking back from the Mercedes John had sent them Amy saw Danny looking happily sad.

* * *

Calvin switched the hall light on. 'We got a record company response.' He tore into it first finding their returned demo tape.

'Is there a letter – what's it say?' Danny asked.

Calvin pulled a single sheet of paper from the envelope and scanned it. 'Crap, it's the standard rejection. It says Island Records aren't looking to sign an act like us at this time but we should keep them in mind when submitting further demos.'

Danny read the letter he handed him.

Calvin examined the cassette under the light. 'I don't reckon this has been listened to.'

* * *

Under the warmth of a muted sun Amy, Katherine and John drove into Saint Tropez. As the marina came into view Amy understood how it could seduce anyone but especially someone with Katherine's upbringing. Though surely quieter than summer, wealthy people still swaggered, posed and smiled as Calvin had described. Knowing how scruffy he could be at times, she figured Calvin had deserved the strange looks he'd received.

'Nearly there,' John said as they left the car and walked the pontoons. Amy tiptoed to avoid jamming her heels in the slats. Any of the moored boats would have done but John's yacht appeared stunning in its newness.

'Welcome aboard,' John said glancing at Amy's shoes. Slipping them off she took his hand joining him on deck.

Once inside John called to Katherine from the galley where he sorted drinks out. 'Music?'

'Let's see,' Katherine said turning to the stereo. ABC's _Poison Arrow_ erupted from speakers.

## Wednesday 26th October 1983

Two nights later Calvin received a call from a heartbroken Katherine. Having enjoyed the first two days introducing Amy to her friends she'd finally come clean. Notwithstanding Katherine's best efforts she couldn't prepare her friends for the shock. When Elaine revoked her bridesmaid involvements Katherine wanted nothing but to come home to Calvin who could do nothing more than listen.

* * *

Later Raphael lay in bed focusing on the blackness behind his eyelids. Calvin had told him of Island's rejection. Since then more disappointing letters had poured in. None surprised him after The Police's A&M Records' rejection as they'd been the labels he'd have predicted being most interested.

From the darkness his intuition seemed to tell him success would come via a different route. Because the band had no further control over the posted demos creative thinking would be required. After all Calvin reckoned the tapes might not even be getting listened to.

Raphael tried thinking how they could get the demos listened to but no solutions came to mind.

* * *

Despite wanting to slap Katherine's toffee-nosed friends Amy couldn't help but like them. They'd spent the first night in the bar where Katherine had months earlier spotted Calvin. Katherine told her if Abigail hadn't snubbed him she might never have noticed him.

But, Amy found Abigail had a wonderful sense of humour. When asked about Katherine's boyfriend Amy told her, 'He's gorgeous and talented.'

Amy met the quiet half Chinese Loretta who became her favourite. Loretta thought the world of Katherine saying she felt like a different person having grown in confidence because of her. Of course Amy knew exactly what she meant.

'Katherine's boyfriend better be good,' Loretta said. 'Everyone's misses her'

But, blimey Wednesday night turned out terrible. Like Katherine, Amy didn't want to stay another minute.

The group sat in a bar when Katherine began her confession. Amy sensed the point of no return. Everyone listened in silence until Katherine said she would have been truthful but nobody pulled her on the apparent lie. Elaine had heard enough.

'Are suggesting this is our fault?'

'Oh.' Katherine sank abandoning hope. 'Of course not. I'm trying to illustrate how easily it happened.'

'Really?' Elaine bellowed. 'You mean how easily we failed to see a charity case?'

'You must think we're really stupid?' Abigail said. 'My god Katherine you've played us all. I mean, who bought those shoes you're wearing?'

'Okay enough,' John said standing offering Katherine his hand. When she didn't move he crouched looking into her downturned face and said, 'Let's go.'

Katherine stood but slumped back down when Elaine said, 'Take her away and make sure she doesn't come to my wedding. It'll be one less mouth to feed and it sure as hell won't affect the number of wedding presents.'

Katherine rose with John's support. Amy followed saying nothing but noted Loretta's face looking more sad than angry.

Back on the yacht John said, 'I'm so sorry Katherine. I gravely underestimated their reaction. I actually thought Elaine was joking when she first blew up.'

Later Katherine found strength to phone Calvin and her mum but wanted to go to bed.

'I'll keep you company,' Amy said and climbed onto the bed with her.

'Thanks.'

'What did your mum say when you phoned?'

'She was nice; said they'd get over it. Reckons they're not cross because I'm not rich but because I misled them.'

'What do you think?'

'I feel like I stole from them.'

'No Katherine they gave their kindness.'

'But would they have if they knew I was raised on a council estate?'

Unable to answer that Amy said, 'Well done for telling the truth.'

Katherine rolled over and getting comfier said, 'Truthfully, I never wanted to be bridesmaid anyway. Nice to have been asked though.'

No one spoke for a while. By the time she realised Katherine had fallen asleep Amy had become too relaxed to move.

* * *

In Hemel, Raphael had gone to bed but didn't sleep. He stewed uncharacteristically full of hell, aggrieved that hundreds of Little Spirit demos lay around record companies apparently unwanted. He felt powerless until just before sleep he had an idea.

## Thursday 27th October 1983

On Thursday Calvin arrived from work to find Raphael waiting in his mum's car for him.

'You're early,' he said when Raphael got out with a carrier bag of food and a tired old acoustic bass.

'I know but I've had an idea and need you onside before approaching Danny – especially with him being ze ideas man.'

'Intriguing.' Calvin unlocked the flat.

'Hang on.' Raphael went back to the car to get ...

'A large African drum?'

'A djembe. I'm not great on it I'm afraid.'

'I'm not going to like this idea am I?'

'Probably not that's why I have to sell you it first.'

'Okay Raphael sell away – good luck,' Calvin said once inside.

'Sorry ze bass is so old.'

'Really, it's not new?' Calvin said sarcastically.

'It's been in ze shop's storeroom forever. I'm hoping it won't be missed.'

'Take it back, it won't be missed here either.'

Laughing Raphael said, 'We've had a lot of rejection letters this week.'

'Looks like more arrived today.' Calvin waved the mail he'd just picked up.

'It could take months for all ze labels to come back to us, or not. We could play more gigs. We could even resend ze demos hoping ze labels change their minds. Maybe we'd still get nowhere.'

'We just need a chance,' Calvin said having torn open the first of the days' rejections.

'I know, but every unsigned band says that.'

'Someone might want to sign us.'

'Someone _might_. But that's not good enough and so far every letter says they don't. And don't tell me someone will because we don't know that.'

'You're not sounding like your usual optimistic self.'

'It's me alright but listen we can't do nothing whilst one rejection follows another. I've an idea to help us grow as musical performers _and_ we'll reach _millions._ '

'Of pounds?' Calvin rubbed his hands together.

'Of people.'

'Oh.'

'It's quite a commitment.'

'But we'll reach millions?'

'Definitely.'

'With this crummy bass?'

'Oui.'

'And your African drum?'

'Djembe.'

'You think we should busk don't you?

'Bingo.'

'I don't want to.'

'I know. Neither do I but think we have to.'

'Now I know why you wanted to speak to me first.'

Raphael convinced Calvin if they dressed in their colours and took the Little Spirit banners they'd be seen thousands of people every day. Little Spirit would be monumentally guaranteed to enter London's awareness.

'Busking takes gargantuan balls.' Raphael stood to speak. 'It unquestionably separates ze boys from ze kings.'

'Will our songs translate to acoustic instruments?'

'Who knows? Once we've got Danny we can give it a go.'

'Okay Raphael, we'll have a bash at Danny.'

'Thank you.' He headed for the kitchen. 'Little Spirit takes ze bull by ze horns yes?'

'I guess.'

'First step to convincing Danny,' Raphael said taking the groceries from the bag he'd brought, 'is to feed him. All cultures respond to ze law of reciprocation. Anyone who receives a gift feels obliged to reciprocate that kindness.'

Once Danny arrived back the lads tucked into Raphael's cuisine.

Calvin wasting no time said, 'Danny, Raphael's forwarded an idea to reach more people and I support it.'

'Oh?' Danny said unsure what he'd just swallowed.

'Yeah, we propose we work the songs acoustically and busk them in the streets.'

'These aren't snails are they?'

'No, only things I knew you'd like,' Raphael said. 'What about ze idea?'

'It's good. I was thinking we should play streets like Brook Green where the EMI and Virgin offices are – you know, put it under their noses.'

Raphael looked incredulous. 'What do you mean, _you thought?_ '

'Oh, sorry mate. I was thinking the same last night; figured we'd sell demos, make some money and get new faces to gigs.'

Raphael put his cutlery down. 'Ze washing up's all yours.'

They washed up together after which they attempted to play their songs on acoustic instruments. Instead of playing his normal guitar parts Danny strummed chords to the songs as Raphael beat his djembe like a conga without regard for his original drum parts. Only Calvin, on the horrible bass, played his lines as he ordinarily would have.

'Terrible,' Raphael said.

'We sound like Christians,' Danny said. 'What d'you think Cal?'

'I think you're making this hard work. Stop strumming and play your parts as you've always practiced and gigged. Raphael I can hear that drum has a wide range of sounds. If you find a way to recreate your drums parts then the songs should sound more like we're used to.'

They gave it a go running through the same song time after time. Danny naturally modifying his guitar parts while Raphael drew a credible drum kit approximation from the djembe.

'Not bad guys,' Danny smiled. 'There might be something there yet.'

'Ze song's sounding cool again.'

By the end of the night another three songs had taken shape.

'Four songs will do for starters,' Danny said. 'We could perform them then move on to another place. But this isn't gonna be easy. The general public won't give a damn about us. They'll just want to shop.'

'We know that. We're just getting into ze consciousness of as many people as possible.'

'Yeah, we're the SAS of bands,' Calvin said almost convincingly. 'We don't shy away from an uninterested public.'

## Saturday 29th October 1983

On Saturday the band woke early, nervous and unready but nevertheless up for the challenge of busking. Between them they lugged their instruments, demos, backdrop and flyers onto buses and tubes.

With no firm plan they chanced leaving the tube at Hyde Park Corner. Up the steps and into the park they went. Tourists milled around in the mild weather. With no thought of busking licences they set up away from other performers draping the backdrop on an available park bench.

'Okay guys,' Danny said feeling uncomfortable, 'are we ready to do this?'

'Let's,' Raphael said, djembe hanging from a padded shoulder strap. Without further ado he beat out the rhythm of, _Only When it's Saturday_.

Danny not wanting to face passers-by watched the drummer's posture and fearlessness to look out into the park at anyone who cared to look at him. Thinking Raphael's confidence unfounded he grasped at the neck and grabbed at the strings. He screwed his eyes and lamely sang along with his bandmates; hardly like his life depended on it. He tried driving his voice harder but didn't like hearing his voice evaporating into the park's openness.

After the first song a frustrated Raphael stretched his shoulder. In the guitar case not one penny lay on the furry lining. Three songs later Raphael felt his performance had been compromised by the band's reluctance to seize the attention of the great British public.

'This is more reserved than rehearsals,' he said. 'Let's repeat ze set. I'm rocking out whether you two do or not.' With that he led the way again. This time wandering behind the bench emblazoned with Little Spirit's logo. _If they see me, they'll hear me,_ he thought.

Just like before Danny joined after Raphael's introduction.

But Calvin, after his four bars, ran to the bench and leapt off it. Landing right on the beat he arched his back and sang out like a wolf howling at the moon. Seeing this Raphael rounded the bench to join him in harmony.

After the song Calvin shouted up to anyone within earshot, 'I hope you're all having a great day. We're Little Spirit, here for your entertainment.'

It got a few people's attention. A couple stopped to listen to the next song so Raphael made sure they got a performance. Behind them others slowed from stride to amble.

Another song and Calvin bantered at the gathering few. Still nobody put money into the guitar case. Perhaps no one wanted to throw the first coins. Remembering how French bar staff always left some coins in the plate Raphael relived his pockets of change.

Feeling excluded Danny watched Raphael, free of his usual unmovable drum kit join Calvin. Danny forced himself to face the audience surprised to see a blonde girl eying him up. Automatically he looked away but he ordered himself to look back. When the blonde smiled he didn't feel so silly. With one last song in their second four-song set Danny snapped from his freeze heating his volume and performance to Calvin and Raphael's temperature.

Having played the last song Calvin told anyone listening they could buy demos.

'You have company,' Raphael said.

Danny turned and saw the blonde with her friends.

* * *

Katherine and Amy packed their bags and John secured his yacht. Together they left without bidding anyone farewell. Katherine knew she should have checked Elaine's booking with Château Hôtel de la Messardière but had felt too upset.

* * *

Danny had pocketed his admirer's phone number and sold her a demo. The band moved on playing two more areas of Hyde Park before trying Regent's Park. There they handed out flyers and promoted that night's Water Rats gig before packing up and heading off to meet the girls' plane.

On the tube heading to the airport, Danny closed his eyes and thought of Amy and the blonde who'd given him her number. He'd said he'd phone but felt that would betray Amy. He also considered the guitar case he'd closed. It seemed to have a lot of coins but he knew from cashing up at The Lion that lots of coins didn't necessarily mean lots of money.

* * *

John led the way through passport control towards where the lads waited. Amy spotted Danny between Calvin and Raphael looking tall, unaware of his attractiveness. Katherine ran to Calvin. John, perhaps having considered the logistics, greeted Raphael leaving Amy who approached Danny. Arms ready for a hug she made a bad decision and ducked the same way as Danny. With each advancing step they corrected and counter-corrected looking dafter each second until Amy stood still and let Danny's arms fold around her.

At a loose end, John said he'd join the band later at The Water Rats. Katherine clung to Calvin all the way to Chingford. The band changed and gathered instruments for the evening's electric gig squeezing a moment to count the day's takings. Though Amy stayed to catch up on her poly assignments Katherine headed back to London with the band.

* * *

At The Water Rats John said, 'So we've got fantastic demo tapes yet those idiots at the record companies keep sending them back.'

'Unbelievable but true,' Calvin said.

'We need to examine further options.'

Raphael explained the benefits of busking and how the first day had progressed.

'Brilliant,' John declared. 'Absolutely brilliant. I can only imagine how many people have seen the Little Spirit name today. How much money did you make?'

'Well,' Danny said, 'we lumped the sales of demos in with it.'

'That's okay,' John said, 'they're your tapes now. So how much?'

Danny told him split three ways he'd earn more busking than doing a pub shift. The band reckoned as they improved they'd earn more especially approaching Christmas.

'So you could afford to have Friday off like me and Raphael,' Calvin said.

'When you gonna tell Liz?' John asked.

'What, that I'm dropping Fridays?' Danny asked. John raised an eyebrow whilst the others looked expectant. 'I don't know. Monday, maybe?'

'Tell her now,' Raphael said. 'That way she's got more notice to fill ze slot.' Danny looked around the table.

'Go to it,' John said. 'It makes economic sense.'

'Yeah, alright.' Danny fished in his pocket for 5p and went in search of a payphone.

'What's next regarding gaining record company interest?' John asked.

Calvin explained with experience they'd play Brook Green for the benefit of EMI and Virgin.

'And what do you imagine will happen – will someone run out and sign you on the spot?'

Calvin looked at Raphael who said, 'Probably not.'

'No,' John said, 'but, that doesn't mean don't do it. It's a very good idea. Make sure the Little Spirit banners are clearly displayed. Mind you, it's a pity we can't personally deliver the demos.'

Calvin said, 'We've discounted that idea. It's a well-known fact that bands lacking proper management can't get past reception at the majors.'

'But is that true of smaller labels?'

'All done,' Danny said returning from his talk with Liz.

'Well done,' John said. 'How did it go?'

'She understood. Looks like I've done my last Friday.'

Bringing Danny to speed the band decided on their next busking trip they'd visit some small independent labels.

* * *

After soundchecking Danny told Raphael, 'I phoned the blonde but some bloke answered so I hung up.'

'Probably for ze best. Don't want any trouble,' Raphael said. 'I'll try ze two numbers I collected; see what happens there.'

Hearing this and perhaps feeling insecure Katherine cuddled closer to Calvin.

## Tuesday 01st November 1983

Calvin stayed at work late on Tuesday, finishing in time to meet Katherine before her pub shift ended. She'd been quiet since her return but Calvin thought he might be able to change that if only slightly.

'Let's see them,' she said staring at the plastic bag in his hand. But instead of opening it he took his denim jacket off revealing the first Little Spirit T-shirt off the press.

'What d'ya think?' he asked displaying the blue Little Spirit Flag with white writing on black T-shirt.

'Wow, you'll sell loads.'

'Hopefully, but I've got a free one for us lot.' Calvin handed her a ladies fit from the bag.

'Thanks love,' Katherine said holding it up for size. 'I'll wear it in the pub.'

Back in the flat Danny posing in his T-shirt said, 'Hang on, yesterday we didn't have T-shirts, hadn't even discussed them and now, we have T-shirts. How did that happen?'

Calvin explained that on Monday he'd asked his boss why the filing cabinets had moved. Not only did Ian speak of the proposed fabric printer but he suggested using the Little Spirit logo to trial it. Calvin agreed and paid for a handful of black T-shirts.

'I'll wear mine for poly tomorrow,' Amy said unaware of Danny's eyes admiring her curves.

'Shame John and Raphael have to wait,' Amy said. 'Will you wear them on stage?'

'Why not?' Danny asked.

'Isn't that a bit desperate?' Calvin said.

Everyone turned to Katherine. 'I suppose bands don't often promote themselves that way but the Ts do look good. I'd say at this stage you can't afford not to promote the band – in fact definitely wear them for busking.'

## Friday 04th November 1983

On Friday Katherine came home from her shift to find the boys gloomily flopped over the living room furniture. 'How d'it go?' she asked hugging Calvin.

'Busking went well,' Raphael said.

'That's good. Make any money?'

'We did and handed out flyers,' Danny said. 'But we didn't get anywhere with the labels.'

Calvin said, 'We didn't intend trying the big ones but thought we'd have a go anyway.'

'Couldn't get passed reception?' Katherine asked.

'Just as expected,' Calvin said adding, 'So that's that for them.'

'What about the smaller labels?'

Danny said, 'Nobody's interested.'

'None have been interested yet,' Raphael said.

'True,' Calvin said. 'Apparently we're not what they were looking for if they were looking at all.'

'One wasn't open,' Danny said. 'But apart from that most said we weren't contemporary enough, so they might as well have said we were crap.'

'Really?'

'A couple described us as unremarkable.'

'It was never going to be easy but I can't believe it,' Katherine said.

'Wasn't it JFK who said, _We do these things, not because they're easy but, because they're hard_?' Raphael asked.

'About the space program, yeah' Calvin said. 'I suppose every band would have a deal if it was easy.'

'Tomorrow's Saturday so we'll be lucky to catch anyone in,' Danny said.

'It's bonfire night too,' Katherine pointed out.

## Saturday 05th November 1983

In the parks the next morning Danny felt more positive than the previous day as performances seemed to reach people more effectively.

Later they visited a small label called GMD; the one that had been closed the previous day. Giving it the benefit of the doubt, they didn't even know what genre of music they specialised in.

The courtyard office lay amongst other unrelated businesses. Lacking the glamour of the majors and some independents Danny figured if GMD didn't want them no one would.

But like the day before Raphael ran up the exterior steps and found the door locked. Later, with no sign of action at GMD or elsewhere they resolved to leave the labels till the following week. Danny wondered if they'd ever get signed. He imagined Calvin's dad chalking up another point against them.

## Monday 7th November – Friday 11th November 1983

During the following week Raphael felt in danger of joining Danny's despondency. He came to believe the labels had correctly identified their sound as unremarkable. Leaning from his bed he clicked rewind to listen to the demo from the start. Laying back he recognised rushed bits. Now the initial excitement had worn off he heard limp snare flams, stray bass notes and bent guitar notes that hadn't bent far enough. The demo didn't sound like the band that cracked jokes with their audience or leapt into the rafters from springboards.

Unfortunately trudging round the labels would have to do until another great idea presented itself. But Raphael couldn't concentrate on that because another thought pestered his mind. His mum's Renault couldn't cope now they'd added a springboard and T-shirts. His mum wanted her car back. A silly idea took hold.

* * *

The next day Calvin picked up the phone after his shift.

'Great news,' Raphael said. 'I got us a van.'

'Really?'

'Yes, really. How good does that feel?'

'Fantastic.' Calvin grinned at his end. 'How d'you sort that out?

'I don't know yet. Something will come to mind.'

It took Calvin seconds to realise Raphael's game. 'Ahhgh – we don't have a van – why did you say we did?'

'We'll have a van soon I promise.'

'Answer the question.' Danny may have grown used to Raphael's quirks but Calvin's patience hung by an unusually thin thread.

'Okay, I'm sorry,' Raphael said. 'We need a van. I wanted you to feel exactly how you would if we did.'

'Why?' Calvin asked bewildered.

'To help you visualise. Feel as you did when I said we had a van and we soon will. But I don't want to do this all on my own because it's my mum's car we use.'

'Sorry, I know we can't use it forever. I feel bad about it too,' Calvin said. 'So, how we gonna get a replacement?'

'It's on its way; somehow,' Raphael said.

* * *

In the flat early Friday morning whilst the band prepared to hit London Raphael helped himself to the phone.

'Oh, hello,' he said; the female voice picking up surprising him. 'Err, you're in?'

'We're in.'

'All day?'

'All day.'

'Great,' Raphael said hanging up.

* * *

Between rain showers the band played Regents Park. Calvin watched coins pour into the guitar case.

Danny watched the money come too, almost wondering if they needed a record deal. But, Raphael called them to the task of dragging round to the record labels again. Danny's face fell.

Calvin sympathised. In the parks they made money and created happiness doing the thing they'd set out to do if acoustically rather than electrically.

'Come on guys,' Raphael encouraged. 'It's a rite of passage.'

Less than encouraged they followed Raphael from Regent's Park towards Chalcot Road. Recognising the route Calvin didn't have the best feeling as they entered a familiar courtyard. The front of the record company office they'd seen before faced the rear of the surrounding companies. A steel fire escape led the way to its entrance. Calvin presumed in the event of fire the other companies would empty through it.

'We've been here before – nothing doing,' Danny said.

'But look, there's a light,' Raphael said leading the way. 'Come on.'

Atop the stairs Calvin saw the company name displayed on a sheet of paper Sellotaped to the glass; not neatly etched like the other businesses.

'GMD, Global Music Development,' he read aloud. 'Sounds like a world music workshop.'

Raphael took the door handle and pushed. Nothing happened. With a withered look he said, 'A little space please?'

Obligingly they backed down the steps. Raphael pulled. The door swung outwards.

Inside Calvin quickly checked his hair and straightened as Raphael introduced himself to a young redheaded girl at a desk to his left and a tired looking man in his fifties to his right.

'You lot some sort of band?' the man asked with palpable reluctance.

Hearing the man's tone Calvin clutched his bass and asked, 'What gave you that idea?' He looked around the pokey office.

The man's ashtray stuffed with half smoked cigarettes festered beneath ceiling tiles dripping with nicotine. Posters of professional looking bands, none of which Calvin, recognised adorned the walls where bigger labels hung gold discs.

'We wondered if you'd heard our demo,' Raphael said.

'Little Spirit?' the man's voice rasped reading their T-shirts. 'Grace, have a look back there for Little Spirit's demo.'

'I've got one here,' Raphael said as the redhead delved into one of two overflowing carrier bags of cassettes.

'Thanks,' the man said taking a tape. Nodding towards the rehead he said, 'That's a month's worth of uncollected demos.'

Grace took the tape and soon their music kicked into the office.

'Not too loud love. Don't wanna disturb our neighbours,' the man said before looking at the cassette and adding, 'I recall this, lots of harmonies right?' The harmonies started. 'Yes, interesting.'

With closed eyes the man absorbed the music, 'Turn it up a touch love.'

Eventually he said, 'Not bad. I was a bit thrown by the acoustic instruments when you walked in – thought you were some world music outfit. Name's Richard by the way.'

'Raphael,' Raphael said shaking his hand. 'Pleased to meet you. This is Calvin and Danny.'

'Take a seat lads,' Richard said pointing to plastic ex-classroom chairs stacked near the door.

After sitting Richard said, 'I don't listen to every demo you know. And normally it goes off after twenty seconds. But I managed a verse and chorus of yours. I've heard better but you've definitely something there. You're the drummer?' Richard asked of Raphael whilst reading the inlay card.

Raphael nodded.

'Good stuff. And you all sing?'

'All three of us,' Calvin said.

Behind them Grace finally recovered the demo they'd posted from the second bag.

'So,' Raphael started, 'if you thought our demo was interesting were you thinking of contacting us?'

'Good heavens no. No record company would contact a band on the strength of a demo alone – much less sign a band.'

'How come?' Calvin asked having believed that's exactly how things worked.

Richard looked at him. 'What response have you had from the heavy hitters, BMG, EMI, Vanquar?'

'Truthfully?' Calvin said, 'We've scored rejections from all three.'

'Of course you have,' Richard said enjoying himself. 'That's why you're here. If EMI offered you anything you wouldn't think of coming here to see if I could better their offer would you?'

'Well ...' Calvin stopped, recognising his point.

'Thing is if you're not good enough for EMI you're not good enough for us. Right Grace?' He looked over but Grace said nothing.

'Apologies for wasting your time,' Calvin said.

'Not so fast Kevin.'

'Calvin,' Calvin said.

'Sorry Calvin. We don't know if you're good enough for EMI. Not yet. They won't have heard these songs; at least anyone who could make a difference won't.

'Yeah, we suspected as much.'

'Frankly demos aren't worth the tape they're taped on as far as posting them to labels is concerned. If a band generates enough buzz through gigs, labels wake up and chase them for demos.

'We're gigging loads and we've started busking by day,' Calvin said.

'So why haven't I heard of you?' Richard looked to Grace. 'Have you heard of Little Spirit?'

Grace shrugged. She aimed an apologetic expression at Raphael.

'Ze busking is new,' Raphael said getting up to display the banners. 'Thousands hear ze songs and see our name every day. It'll soon be millions.'

'Hmm,' Richard nodded thoughtfully. 'You got a manager?'

'We've been doing a pretty good job on our own till now,' Danny said getting involved.

'Dear me lads you need a decent manager and I'm not talking about an old school pal.'

Calvin said, 'We have a financier.'

'Can he get passed Island's gatekeepers?'

'No,' Calvin said. 'We supported Bananarama.'

'Brilliant, and their management love you and want you on their books?' Richard asked hopefully or maybe sarcastically.

'Not that we're aware.'

'Of course not. Bananarama's management will be way too busy right now.'

'Okay, suppose we had management,' Raphael cut in. 'Would you sign us?'

Richard sighed. 'Think of the music business as a pyramid. Everything like full line up, instruments, songs, demos, gigs, image etc is a stage of the pyramid. You guys are higher than rival bands that don't have those things. With those things and T-shirts to boot you're at an important stage. The next pyramid level is management. You need management to get from that plinth the next: record deal.' Richard leant back in his chair putting his feet on the desk.

'So to be of interest to you we need a manager?' Calvin asked.

'Interest to me?' Richard asked. 'You don't even know if GMD are of interest to you do you?'

'Well ...' Calvin said, 'You're a record company.'

'But you've no idea how I could further your careers.' Richard laughed. 'Okay, brief overview. GMD signs about two acts per year to a _recording contract_. A recording contract doesn't get you TV, tours, radio play, whatever. It won't even get you a gatefold album cover. It'll get you a beautifully recorded album pressed to vinyl in a plain white cover.'

After that sunk in he continued. 'When bands sign to a major company they generally sign three deals at once, a recording contract, a distribution deal and a PR and marketing deal. GMD don't do distribution or PR and marketing. Distribution gets your product duplicated and placed in the record shops and PR and marketing ensures the nation knows about it.'

'So what happens when bands sign to GMD?' Raphael asked.

'If we signed you I'd find a producer and put you in a studio. You'd claim dole unless you were very lucky and there was enough money to buy breakfast and a sandwich for the recording period. There'd be no advance or anything that'd qualify as income. GMD just can't afford that. The flip side is that you start earning real money sooner.'

Raphael stroked his chin. 'Real money as opposed to what?'

'Bigger companies _advance_ acts money. Or more accurately: loan money – to record and live comfortably. Bands repay the advance from future record sales. The advance isn't real money. The band get it before they've sold anything, yet they're living the life of Reilly. With no advance our acts only have the recording costs to repay before they start earning based on records sold.' Richard winked at Grace who listened on.

'What if they don't sell enough to cover costs?' Danny asked.

'If they've signed a multi-album deal they crack on with album two. A new advance keeps them in bread, and album two's sales pays album one's remaining debt before its own. Assuming that's achieved the band starts earning. With GMD the mess is smaller and easier to clean up.'

'What happens after a band's recorded with GMD?' Calvin asked.

'Like I say, without distribution it wouldn't appear in the shops and without PR or Marketing the masses won't know about it.'

'So why would anyone sign to GMD?'

'Well, GMD gets you a recorded product. You'd bring the album back to me and your management and, assuming we find interested majors labels, we'd sell them the licence to distribute and market the product. Albums sell and with what's left after the major's taken their share GMD would recoup the recording costs and we'd share the rest between us. After that assuming you don't hate each other you'd repeat the whole process with album two.'

Danny looked around the poky office with the impossibly shy redhead and battered fifty-something year old man and wondered whether GMD could be the answer their prayers – should GMD ever want to sign them.

Unconvinced he said, 'We know bands get paid last. It's rough but what you've said makes sense. My concern is that twice we've visited and you've been closed. How serious are you?'

'The USed Wonz,' Richard nodded to a poster featuring four roguish figures; two lads and two girls. 'We signed them a few months ago. Couldn't get any interest in this country; so we went Stateside. They'll be big enough in America; Johnny the singer's very determined. But we're here now clearing the backlog of work. You'll probably get a rejection letter along with everyone else in those carrier bags soon.'

Danny looked at the other posters. 'I've not heard of any of these bands.'

'No? Some have enjoyed chart success but we've yet to sign a band that's gone stratospheric.'

Richard talked them through the bands he'd signed. Some had let him down either by splitting up or exploded in their own egos. They'd all subsequently signed to major labels for marketing and distribution.

'Okay,' Raphael said cutting to the chase. 'Other than management how do we get you to ze point where you'll want to sign us?'

'Well Ralphy.'

'Raphael,' Raphael said.

'Sorry Raphael. My interest in Little Spirit is currently limited. But I'm glad you dropped in. You guys have a bit going for you. Most importantly you're in luck as we're looking to sign another act. Management is a factor and your profile isn't high. So we'll be keeping our eyes open for other acts. Question is will anything grab us more strongly?'

Danny considered Richard's words. 'Can I be frank?'

'You may as well be I've got everyone else's names wrong.'

Danny laughed. 'Other labels have described our demo as unremarkable. But we believe we're better than our demo.'

'You'll need to be. And yes your demo is unremarkable, but most are. I'd have told you the same thing six weeks ago. When a label tells you that, it usually means they're not looking to sign new acts; not that many admit it.'

'We're fantastic live,' Calvin said.

'You better be. The product is bigger than just recorded music. Everything from hairstyle to your tone when speaking to your audience is relevant. You say you're fantastic but the moment a band walks on stage to the moment they get off should be entertaining. It's more than simply playing the right notes in the right order. Everything a band says between songs is part of the entertainment and an opportunity to lose or win the crowd. You seem like nice guys but that often means boring.'

Richard pointed to another poster; another band they'd not heard. 'Of course zany out of control bands who are thrilling on stage can be impossible to work with. Those guys got distracted and wasted their recording session.'

'Sounds like you've had some bad luck,' Calvin said handing Richard some flyers. 'You'll have to come and see us live. We'll prove how good we are.'

'We'll see,' Richard said looking over the gig list. 'Can you spare a few more demo tapes?'

## Monday 14th November 1983

For Katherine the week started with a laborious pub shift. Katherine sighed hearing the phone behind the bar.

'Dog and Parrot,' she said with forced chirpiness.

'Katherine?' a female enquired.

'Yes.'

'Thank God, Katherine, it's Loretta.'

'Loretta, my God, how did ... I mean ... wow, how are you?'

'I'm good, still in Saint Tropez, I just had to speak to you.'

'It's such a relief to hear your voice.'

'You too. I'd hate to fallout with you. Amy gave me your number before the, disagreement. I just spoke to her and she found your work number.'

'You're not ashamed to have a friend who works in a pub then?'

'Hell no. Elaine's still mad but she'll come round.'

Loretta eventually rang off promising to keep in touch.

That evening Katherine spoke to her mum. Barbara sounded desperate to visit her in London. Katherine suggested the last week in November.

## Friday 18th November 1983

At the end of the week Danny nervously tuned his Telecaster and glanced at Calvin who always looked nervous and Raphael who never did. Behind his drums Raphael spun wing nuts on cymbal stands whilst staring into the audience for signs of Richard.

Twenty minutes later Raphael pressed play on the four-track and joined Danny in the wings.

'You seen any sign of him?' Danny asked as the intro piece rolled on.

'I see new faces but none are his craggy old one. He might be at ze back. Doubt he'd be head-banging at ze front.'

* * *

Later, back in the flat Katherine sat with the sullen boys. She felt sorry for them but struggled to be unhappy given that she'd received a letter from Loretta that day. The lads had taken the roof of The King's Head but Richard hadn't seen them or heard a note of the audience singing along to their songs.

'One down,' Calvin said. 'There's still more gigs on the current flyer.'

## Friday 25th November 1983

Richard didn't appear at any subsequent gigs. Amy reckoned the only remaining date on the flyer would yield another no show as the poly's main hall lay miles from GMD's Camden office. Nevertheless Amy anticipated a fantastic night at her favourite venue. Skiving her afternoon's lectures she tidied her room thinking Barbara would by coincidence see Little Spirit on the same stage Katherine first had. She changed her sheets. For the next two nights she'd sleep beside Raphael on a camp bed the boys had bought her.

Hoovering away she hardly heard the phone ringing.

'Can I speak to someone from Little Spirit?' a raspy voice said.

'They're busking in London at the moment. Can I take a message?'

'Yeah, tell 'em Richard from GMD will see them at that polytechnic tonight.'

'Oh hi Richard, they'll be really pleased. You'll love them it's a great gig for them.' Amy waffled on to an um-impressed Richard.

She put the worry that she'd discouraged him to the back of her mind when Katherine arrived having finished her shift early.

Together they set off to Victoria.

'You look fantastic,' Katherine told her mum as she came down the coach steps.

'A working lady has to be presentable,' Barbara said kissing her daughter. 'I've given up smoking and been jogging and doing sit-ups every day.'

Amy noted the extraordinary change. 'Katherine's right you look wonderful. Work obviously suits you.'

'Well it's nice to find people that appreciate it.'

'I'm sure the men of this town will.'

Amy guessed things hadn't improved between her and Alan when Barbara checked out the nearest hunk and said, 'Looks like I'm in for a treat too.'

'Mum,' Katherine said admonishingly. 'Come on let's get the tube.'

* * *

A palpable excitement mounted as students filled the poly's union hall. Earlier Barbara had settled into the flat before the lads came crashing in with instruments and backdrops. Amy introduced Barbara describing her as stunning. Raphael had wolf-whistled agreeing with Amy; Katherine took after her mum. Now Raphael's attention turned to the music. He noted the high quality of support bands helping the energy but endangering the contrast Little Spirit hoped to exploit.

As headliners the lads had anticipated a dip in crowd numbers. But when they came to play they'd guessed wrong. The hall kept filling. Richard hadn't approached them but Raphael, squinting from the wings, figured he could be any one of the faces at the distant bar where the industry types would typically reside; not that he imagined many turning up at polytechnics.

With one of the biggest audiences they'd played the band should have been buzzed to the max. The intro music primed the crowd.

'A lot of people expecting a good show,' Danny said.

'With or without Richard we'll just have to be the best for Katherine's mum,' Calvin said as he followed Raphael to the stage.

In the crowd someone forced their way to the front. 'Hey guys, good luck. Let's have a great show.'

Danny looked down at John out of place amongst the young students.

'Hey thanks John,' he grinned.

'Did you know he'd be here?' Raphael shouted from behind the drums.

'No, but he's completely changed my drive. I'm ready to rock now.'

Amy had been standing with Katherine and Barbara when John appeared from nowhere.

'Who's that?' Barbara asked spotting him amongst the suits who accompanied him.

'That's John who financed the demo, nice guy,' Amy said. 'Check the stage though.'

Looking over Barbara asked, 'What's the matter with Calvin? He looks terrified. Is he going to be sick?'

'He's fine,' Katherine said two seconds before the first note when Calvin jumped full force onto the springboard bouncing skyward.

'Wow,' Barbara exclaimed as Amy's camera clicked.

With endless smiles Katherine and Barbara danced with each other like best friends. London released Barbara from Alan's chokehold and when John sidled up she flirted. The older suits tried winning her attention but Amy saw John had her hooked.

John's younger colleagues trying it on with Katherine found themselves brushed off like dust. Amy, new to the art of rejecting boys, found the experience enlightening. She realised she didn't have to go with the first interested male; turning one away attracted the next.

Facing the stage again she watched Calvin address his crowd. 'Listen up guys, if you like what you hear we've got demos.' He turned to the drums. 'What else have we got Raphael?'

'Well Calvin, we've got Little Spirit T-shirts.' He passed it to Calvin.

'Thanks mate, what d'you think Danny?' Calvin showed it to him and the crowd

'Very nice.'

'Well,' Calvin continued, 'you all seem like nice people and we'd love to meet you so when we finish come and say hi. Maybe get a T-shirt. Or maybe one lucky person will get this one.'

Calvin threw it into the audience. A forest of hands went up as, with four stick clicks, Raphael counted in the next song.

'This song's called, _Come Around._ '

Amy watched Calvin shrug an apology to Danny and Raphael for chucking a T-shirt away.

* * *

Afterwards, off stage the Richard disappointment had paled.

'Hell of a gig,' Calvin said.

'Amazing,' Danny agreed. 'Beats busking.'

'Let's get out and sell T-shirts,' Raphael said.

They set up in front of the stage. A queue mostly of girls appeared but a tall, long haired man stood out. He approached Danny.

'Hello,' the man said offering his hand. 'I'm Austin. Fantastic gig.'

'Thanks Austin, pleased you enjoyed it. Fancying a T-shirt?'

'D'you think I could get a couple of lady fit ones?'

'Err, okay. What about a demo tape?'

'Not necessary.'

'Oh,' Danny said. 'You just want ladies T-shirts?'

'Seems weird doesn't it? I'd better take a large man's too in that case.'

He paid for the T-shirts and shook hands with Calvin and Raphael before suggesting he might see them again.

'Who was that?' Raphael asked.

'Said he's called Austin, Danny said. 'Sounded like he was from up north.'

'Grim,' Calvin said.

* * *

Back at the flat Calvin said, 'Might not matter that Richard wasn't there. Like he said eventually the majors chase the bands.'

'I like ze way you're thinking Calvin,' Raphael agreed. 'Who knows maybe that Austin is an industry rep.'

'Doubt it,' Danny said. 'He didn't take a demo.'

'Didn't he?'

'He might be a cross-dresser too. He only wanted ladies' T-shirts.'

'Well whatever, you were brilliant. I've had the best night ever,' Barbara said.

'Thanks,' Calvin said. 'We had good support bands tonight.'

'Yeah but you guys were best,' Amy shouted from the kitchen where the kettle boiled.

'It's true,' Barbara agreed. 'When you came on stage you could really tell that the proper band had arrived. You were the most professional.'

'That's a cool thing to say,' Raphael said noting the compliment he'd heard from John.

Saturday 26th November

After breakfast the next day everyone decided to head into London – the girls to shop, the lads to busk. They made their way down stairs but Raphael hung back. He grabbed the phone, dialling, then hung up when someone answered.

'Hurry up mate,' Danny said.

'Sorry.'

They hadn't given much thought as to where they'd play so Raphael suggested Regent's Park.

The lads said goodbye to the girls at the tube station and headed towards the park but Raphael strode ahead passing the entrance. 'Come on.'

Calvin said to Danny, 'He's up to no good isn't he?'

A few minutes later they stood in GMD's shared courtyard looking up at the office.

'Looks like business as usual for most of these businesses,' Calvin said looking at the near-full car park.

Raphael had tiptoed up the steel steps to the door that opened outwards. Back with his mates he said, 'I knew ze Richard would be in.'

'So they're in – meaning?' Calvin asked.

'Meaning if ze GMD mountain (well mound) won't come to us we must go to GMD. We'll bring ze gig to him. If they don't like it then fine we'll go back to ze drawing board.'

'You think we should gig, right where we stand?' Danny asked.

'Indeed, right now.'

'And I thought I was the ideas man,' Danny said.

Deciding they had nothing to lose, they displayed both backdrops dominantly before popping round the corner to warm their voices.

Strutting back they launched into sound that bounced around exterior office walls amplifying and reverberating; powering their voices.

But before they reached the first chorus of _Life in the Sunshine_ the door that opened outwards flew outwards and from the steps Richard yelled, 'What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?'

They stopped dead with surprise.

'Get up here now,' Richard said flabbergast. 'Dear God.'

'Oh merde,' Raphael said as Richard vanished leaving the door gaping.

'Better get up there,' Calvin said grabbing the Little Spirit banners. Raphael followed leaving Danny carefully packing his guitar away.

Calvin and Raphael got through the door of the office which seemed smaller than last time. Grace spun away fastening her jacket.

Richard said, 'People in these offices work weekends. I could get in trouble.'

'I thought we sounded pretty good,' Calvin said cockily.

'That's not the point,' Richard snarled. 'Put the kettle on love the lads look cold.' With jacket zipped to the neck Grace got up and Richard sat behind his desk saying, 'Sit down. Where's the other one?'

Danny came bumbling through the door.

'Grab a chair mate,' Calvin said.

'Sorry Richard,' Raphael said as they organised the plastic chairs. 'We'd hoped you'd come to a gig.'

'When you didn't,' Calvin said taking over, 'Raphael thought like Mohammed going to the mountain.'

'Got it,' Richard said checking papers on his desk.

Raphael shot daggers at Calvin.

'Sorry mate, just slipped out.'

Grace lined up chipped mugs of tea on the desk.

'Anyway we went to the poly gig, didn't we love?' Richard said looking at Grace who blushed. 'In fact Grace went to three gigs in all. Seems you've won one of us over at least. I told her to keep a low profile which wasn't easy given how you like kissing your audience's asses instead of having them kiss yours.'

The band checked each other's stunned expressions.

Richard continued. 'Situation is, I've listened thoroughly to the demo and can hear real promise. The word on the street, although quiet, is good. Plus I've spoken to the producers we've used previously, some are busy and a couple didn't think they could help but strangely a personal favourite of mine seemed already to have your demo.'

'We sent demos to some production companies,' Raphael said.

Richard neither appeared interested or impressed. 'Anyway, I invited this prospective producer along last night. His train was late so we arrived just as that synthesised racket you walk on to was ending. We saw the whole set but I had to leave immediately afterwards. It seems you pull a decent crowd and you all have a very pronounced stage presence. Actually it was entertaining from start to finish. Well done.'

'We took ze points you made seriously,' Raphael said.

'Some, perhaps. Now, what I have here,' Richard said pushing a stack of paper towards Raphael, 'is a one album recording contract.' He looked at the other two whilst Raphael started reading from the top of page one. 'Don't look so disappointed. An eight album deal can be as much of a millstone as a God send. This document is tough but fair. I suggest you get a lawyer to check it over before signing – assuming you're interested.'

'So we take this away?' Raphael asked.

'Correct. If you want to sign bring it straight back with a lawyer.'

'What about management?' Raphael asked with some trepidation.

'What I have here,' Richard said pushing another document forward, 'is a management contract. Give it to your lawyer and if you're happy with the terms I'll manage you. Once the album's recorded you'll need someone like me and I'll need you to have someone like me. I know I banged on a lot about management but that was to illustrate its importance.' Richard smiled. 'Management's actually the biggest part of what we do here.'

'Crikey,' Raphael said.

'That's a turn up,' Calvin said. 'You mentioned studio and producer?'

'I did and that's the next thing to decide,' Richard said. 'I take it you've got a record player at home?'

'Yeah,' Danny said.

'Well if you can carry anything else take these 7-inches and check that you like the sound production. You don't have to like the songs just the sound.' Richard took a pile of singles from a drawer and pushed them towards Calvin.

'Thanks Richard.' Calvin wrapped them into the Little Spirit backdrop.

'You've met your potential producer. He believes he can work with you adding plenty of value to what you've already got.'

'That's great,' Raphael said. 'Who is he?'

'A very good producer. You'll hear that when you listen to those records.'

'And we've met him?' Danny asked.

'His name's Austin. He bought a couple of T-shirts for Grace.'

'The cross-dresser from up north,' Calvin said.

'Leeds actually. He runs The Production Annex studio. As long as you understand and accept the terms of both those contracts and you appreciate The Production Annex sound that's where you're going.'

Richard sat back in his chair and slurped his tea. The band looked at each other. Raphael looked at Grace who looked at him from her desk. Her now unzipped jacket exposed her Little Spirit T-shirt. Wide-eyed she looked as if willing them to shake hands with Richard and get on with things.

'You like Little Spirit?' Raphael asked her.

She smiled averting her eyes. 'You're fabulous.'

'Easy now,' Richard growled, 'that's my little sister's kid.'

After leaving the office Little Spirit couldn't wait to hear how they might sound properly produced. Bad weather helped them back to Chingford.

Arriving through the flat's door Amy called down to the lads.

'Hi,' Danny shouted back, 'how come you're back?'

'Couldn't stand the rain.'

When Danny explained the good news Katherine said, 'Let's hear these records then.'

'You okay with this?' Calvin asked Barbara.

'Can't wait.'

Danny brought his record player into the living room. 'Hear goes,' he said putting the needle into the first groove.

A few moments later the room filled with the noise of an angry man's terrifying voice. Everyone wanted to like the horrible song but—

'Next.' Calvin said.

'Thought you'd never ask,' Danny said. 'They better hadn't all be like this.

'Hang on. Let me think,' Raphael said listening through the awfulness to consider the fundamental mix. Apart from the screaming the instrumental balance had superb depth and colour. 'What year was that?'

'1977,' Calvin read from the centre of the vinyl.

'Hard-edged punk,' Raphael said. 'Six years ago we'd have done anything to sound like that.'

'I don't know,' Calvin said. 'The Sex Pistols would seem like The Sound of Music after that.'

'Anything recent?' Danny asked.

'This,' Calvin said handing him another record. '1982.'

Before the introduction finished Danny said, 'This is better.'

'By miles,' Calvin agreed.

Raphael listened to the rapid song with female lead vocals appreciating the same diligent balance and blend of instruments.

'Ah,' Calvin said leafing through the stack, 'The USed Wonz. These are who GMD sent to the States.'

Danny put the record on the turntable.

Calvin looked at the cover and read. The lead singer Johnny looked tough wearing an expression short of a sneer. Another image showed another cool character and two gorgeous but edgy looking girls.

Raphael recognised a triumph of production when he heard it. Though lacking the glitz of a Trevor Horn production, The USed Wonz sounded as good as anything else they could wish for. Personality burst from every instrument and Johnny's voice. He loved the twisting synths and figured he'd have to get a lend of the shop's keyboards for the album.

Listening to the lyrics Calvin said, 'The Yanks'll love this; Johnny's telling them their country's the best.'

Soon all tracks Richard provided had been heard. Amy said, 'I liked some of the songs but none were as good as Little Spirit.'

Danny played Duran Duran's Rio album by way of contrast and, like the songs or not The Production Annex quality of sound held its own against big budget recordings and walked all over the rushed demo John had funded. He then flicked through Richard's management contract. 'I've got no idea what any of this means.'

Calvin thumbed the recording contract and said, 'We'll need help alright.'

'Who?' Danny asked.

'John'll know someone,' Katherine said.

* * *

That night Raphael struggled vainly to get comfy on the settee though he thought Amy looked even less comfy on her campbed. Turning thoughts over he asked himself how he really felt about Richard's offer. He had imagined signing to a major record company not to some tin pot business with bands he'd never heard of. But despite Richard's poor looking office and disregard of personal health going ahead with GMD felt right. No other companies offered to record them. Raphael felt sure the contracts would be checked and proven suitable. Only bound by one album with no advance meant there'd be hardly any debt and freedom to move on in the future provided they recorded the best possible album. Richard had said their basic needs would be met as The Production Annex adjoined Austin's family home. With GMD, Little Spirit would soon be three plinths higher up the pyramid.

## Sunday 27th November 1983

On Sunday morning Barbara stood in the kitchen with Katherine. 'How would you feel if I stayed an extra night? I can't face going back yet – not after such a nice time with you.'

'Don't you have work tomorrow?'

Barbara looked down. 'Yeah.'

'I'd love you to stay,' Amy said overhearing on her way to the kitchen.

'I would too,' Katherine said. 'But what about work? What will your boss say?'

'I'm sure it'll be fine. An extra night with you means more to me than pleasing her.'

'If that's true, then you're welcome to stay.'

Amy said, 'Phone's out there if you want to ring Alan.'

Barbara pulled her a face. 'No thanks.'

'Mum?'

'What? It'd be a waste of a call.' Barbara smiled sadly.

Amy went to the settee where Raphael still lay. 'Shift yer feet.' He moved his legs for her but rested them back across her.

Unaware of Katherine and Barbara's conversation Danny wandered into the kitchen. 'Is it okay if I phone John, see if he knows any lawyers?'

Katherine nodded. 'Might sound better coming from a band member.'

## Monday 28th November 1983

On Monday Barbara skipped work and Amy skipped lectures. Following an emotional farewell with Katherine, Barbara and Amy travelled to John's office near Kings Cross. He'd told Danny he knew a lawyer and requested the band's contracts be dropped off at his office.

'We're here to see John Saunders,' Amy told the receptionist.

'Is he expecting you?' the woman asked with polite scepticism.

Before Amy could answer they heard, 'Amy.'

Spinning round they saw John striding towards them magnificently suited. 'A man couldn't ask for a better start to the day.' He nodded to Amy then said, 'Barbara, you, look lovely.'

'We've got the documents you asked for,' Amy said.

'Great, let's grab a coffee in my office,' John said before adding to the receptionist, 'These ladies are part of Little Spirit's administration. I told you they'd be signed soon.'

'Okay,' she said humouring him.

Amy admired the city views from John's high-rise oak furnished office. His secretary brought refreshments then left to copy the documents.

'I'll pass these to Bernard my lawyer. His colleague is a music lawyer. He'll tell him what's what and if the documents are fair I'll make sure he's present when the lads sign.'

* * *

After saying farewell the next stop should have been Euston Station for Barbara to catch the Intercity north. But Barbara stopped by The British Library and looked thoughtful. 'D'you mind if we pop in?'

'Sure, there's time,' Amy said checking her watch but wondering why.

At reception Barbara asked for the national telephone directories. Amy followed but didn't spot which directory Barbara flipped open.

'That's it,' she said but the book slammed before Amy saw anything.

Arriving at Euston they looked at the departure boards for Carlisle where Barbara would change trains.

'There's one in fifteen minutes,' Amy said.

'It's no good. There's one, in half an hour. That'll do?'

'What's the difference?' Amy asked as they headed off to buy a ticket.

'Difference is I'm not going home.'

'You're not, since when?'

'Since the library.'

'Where are you going?'

'I'm going to see my mum.'

'Your mum? You said—'

'The first train doesn't stop at Penrith.'

'But—'

'I've not seen her in twenty-five years.'

Taking Barbara's arm Amy stopped her. 'Are you okay?'

'Who knows.'

'What do I tell Katherine?'

Barbara sighed. 'This is very likely a mistake. Don't tell her anything.' She put her case down and fished in her handbag for a pen. 'The phone book suggests they've not moved or changed the number. D'you think you could ring me tonight between six and eight?' Taking Amy's hand she wrote the number. 'I'll know what to tell Katherine then.'

* * *

Insulted by Richard's disparagement of his intro piece Raphael set about creating a new piece using shushing sounds generated by synthesisers. Getting more creative in the empty music shop he recorded other sounds played through effect units and noise gates linked to drum machines. The sound turned into something like a cheering crowd. Finally he recorded his own voice saying, _Blink and you'll miss it._

After poly Amy could only think of the dramas that lay ahead of Barbara not just with the parents she'd not seen in decades but Katherine's horrible dad, and her having to face her new boss.

Arriving at the flat after Calvin, Amy having been sworn to secrecy told him Barbara had caught _a_ train but not _which_ one.

Shortly after 6pm she dressed for a run. Calvin offered to join her for safety but she told him she'd stick to well-lit areas.

Amy found a phone away from street noise near to Katherine's pub. She dialled the number still on the back of her hand and prepared for the unknown. The phone rang for ages during which time it occurred to Amy that if Barbara had chickened out she wouldn't even be there. Not wanting to shock elderly people by asking for their long lost daughter Amy made to put the phone down.

She heard it pick up just before the receiver went down.

'Hello,' Amy said flustered at the lady's posh accent. 'Am I talking to Barbara's daughter?'

The voice chuckled. 'This is Barbara's mother, not daughter dear.'

'Oh, of course. My name's Amy; a friend. She's not, by chance, there is she?'

'Barbara's been expecting your call. I'll put her on.'

Barbara came to the phone as the pips went so suggested Amy read the number from the dial phone's dial. Barbara rang straight back.

Picking up Amy said, 'Oh my god, how are you?'

'I'm fine,' she said sounding calmer than Amy could have imagined.

Barbara explained how she'd landed on her parent's doorstep and received a prodigal daughter's welcome. They'd spent hours filling in the lost years before Barbara admitted how wrong she'd been and how right they'd been about Alan. Despite their loathing of Alan, Barbara had been listened to without condescension.

'I'm delighted they welcomed you,' Amy said. 'But what was their excuse for not contacting you in twenty-five years?'

'They disagreed with my decision to marry Alan. Avoiding the wedding was their last attempt at influence. But they had said their door was always open.' Her voice flattened. 'Guess that detail got lost in my pride.'

'Kind of an important one.'

'The past few weeks have been so different – having a job and Katherine back. Since Jayne's moved out it's just been me and Alan living separate lives paying our own way. Obviously I've still been cleaning and cooking but we're sleeping separately.'

'Are you sure you should be telling me this?'

'He's been doing other stuff too.'

'Go on.'

* * *

The clock behind The Dog and Parrot bar told Katherine she'd less than fifteen minutes of her shift. Five minutes later Amy arrived.

'This isn't the normal jogging route?' Katherine said.

'I'm not running; I needed to see you.'

Katherine felt concerned. Kev appeared from the cellar and said, 'Hi Amy, how you doing?'

'Something's up,' Katherine told him.

'Is this true?' Kev asked jokingly.

'We've got a bit to talk about yes,' Amy said not looking at either of them.

'About Danny or my mum?' Katherine guessed wildly.

'Your mum,'

'Is she okay?' Katherine's body temperature rose.

Kev looked at the clock. 'You've worked hard today Katherine. I'll take over here.'

Outside Katherine buttoned up against the cold. Amy said, 'You're mum's fine. But at Euston she got a train to Penrith. She's at your gran's house.'

Katherine raised her hands to her face.

'I've got her phone number.' Amy lead her to the phone box she'd just left.

Amy hung back but Katherine held the phone box's door for her. Safely inside Katherine dialled.

This time Barbara answered. She told Katherine everything Amy had and then what she hadn't. 'I know deep down Sarah and Jayne love me but I've not told you that your dad's been talking behind my back turning them against me.'

'My god, are you sure?'

'I don't know exactly what he's been saying but yes, I'm sure.'

'That's awful.'

'I've talked everything out with your grandparents.'

'And?'

'I've left your dad.'

Katherine had anticipated that but it still felt like a knife blow. She said nothing letting her mum continue.

'I've had such a lovely weekend with you and your friends.'

'It's been wonderful to see you so happy. What will you do?'

'I'll stay here in Penrith.'

'What about dad?'

'What about him?'

'Have you told him?'

'He'll work it out. I'll go over and collect some things soon.'

'And Sarah and Jayne?'

'I don't know yet.'

'What should I do?'

'Nothing darling. Just promise me you'll stay in touch.'

* * *

Back from his shift Danny watched Calvin stirring stew, both lads unaware of Katherine's drama. 'If we sign these deals we'll have to get proper transport.'

'I know, Raphael thinks his mum might stop us using her car,' Calvin said. Though both tried neither of them could think how they'd get enough money for a van.

Katherine and Amy came through the door. Katherine strode up to Calvin as he stirred the pan and wrapped her arms around him.

'You alright love?' Calvin asked putting the spoon down to hug her properly.

'Hmm, I am now,' she said. 'Baby?'

'Yeah?'

'D'you fancy taking a day or two off work and coming to Penrith?'

'Penrith?' Calvin resumed stirring. 'What's there?'

'My mum's there.'

Over dinner the lads learned of Barbara's day.

'You've gotta do what you need,' Danny said visibly tense.

Katherine said, 'I promise I'll have him back by Friday.'

Happy enough with that Danny sat down and tried chatting with Amy. When it didn't work he took Raphael's, _leave 'em wanting more,_ advice by actively ending the conversation saying he'd ring Raphael.

'Ok mate,' Amy said without taking her eyes off the TV.

_Mate?_ That didn't sound good. He made for the phone and dialled.

Raphael answered. 'Allo mate.'

Danny smiled amused by the rightness of being called _mate,_ by him.

'Mate, things have taken an odd turn here.' Danny told Raphael of Barbara's drama.

'That's exciting. Is everyone alright?'

'Yeah, but Calvin's going up to Penrith. Reckons he'll be back Friday.'

'Understandable. Bit of a shame though, I was hoping we could get a rehearsal in before ze weekend's gigs. I've got new intro music; should get people's attention.'

'I can't wait to hear it. Will you be okay to drive over this weekend?'

'Hope so. My mum's gone quiet on ze subject.'

'Me and Cal are trying to think of something.'

'Keep focused. A solution will present itself.'

'I admire your faith Raphael.'

## Tuesday 29th November 1983

The next day Katherine and Calvin both secured days off work despite the short notice. On her break she rang to confirm the travel details with her mum. The phone picked up. A genteel woman's voice answer.

'Oh gosh,' Katherine said turning posh having forgotten someone else might answer.

'Is that Katherine?' the soft voice asked.

'Yes. Is that, Emily Anderson?'

'Indeed. Shall we meet you tomorrow?'

'Err, as long as you'd like to.'

'Edward and I would be delighted. We've been hearing such a lot about you.'

'Goodness.'

'Barbara's out with Edward at the moment. Shall I take a message?'

'Thank you. If you could just let her know we'll be arriving in Penrith at 12:47.'

'Wonderful. We'll expect you and your gentleman friend for lunch.'

## Wednesday 30th November 1983

Calvin fell asleep the moment the intercity train pulled out of Euston. Too nervous Katherine neither slept nor read.

Calvin woke just before Penrith as calm as any other day. In the station the train came to a standstill. Katherine made no attempt to move. 'Shall we stay on to Edinburgh?'

'It'll be fine,' Calvin said reassuringly. He picked up their bags and headed for the platform.

'Hi,' Barbara shouted spotting them first.

Katherine waved and looked past her but couldn't see anyone with her.

'Thanks for coming too,' Barbara said to Calvin. 'Fancy a cuppa before getting back?'

In a tea shop outside the station Katherine's mum explained she knew she couldn't go back to her husband the moment her parents welcomed her in.

'I get how nasty Dad's been,' Katherine said, 'but I still can't understand how your parents could abandon you as they did.'

'Wait till you meet them, you'll see how I truly could've gone back anytime. Dad's retiring bit by bit from the business and has got me a job there.'

'They sound great,' Katherine said almost sarcastically. 'What are the sleeping arrangements is Calvin on the settee?'

Barbara laughed. 'It's a five bed house; you'll share a twin bedroom.'

'Sounds liberal, not like the same people who hated Dad and your marriage.'

'Well they know you're both grownups and you're not pregnant; and Calvin's not Alan.'

'Right,' Katherine said still unconvinced. 'So, what do I call them?'

'Call them Emily and Edward; unless anything else feels better.'

'Alright. I was thinking, if you've not told Dad you've left, then Sarah and Jayne don't know.'

'I suppose.' Barbara looked sad. 'Thing is, leaving him was all too easy but with what he's been saying to Sarah and Jayne – I don't know how ...'

Minutes later Calvin sat quietly in the front of a taxi with Katherine and Barbara behind him. No sooner had the car left the station than they approached a grand looking stone built pre-Victorian house.

'Could you drop us off round the back?' Barbara asked the driver.

As requested he pulled the car into a courtyard where a Range Rover, a tractor and a fine old Jaguar stood by stable doors.

Calvin and Katherine got out leaving Barbara to pay the driver. Calvin turned to see a striking and happy faced woman in a doorway.

Katherine recognised Emily Anderson as her grandmother at first glance. Her mind rapidly formed first impressions as the quintessentially English lady approached in a stately fashion. Katherine felt sure they'd get along.

An elderly man appeared at the doorway. Despite the chill he wore no jacket. Joining his wife the couple looked as fine as the Carringtons from Dynasty.

After introductions the pair welcomed them into their front room where Emily served fruit loaf with more tea.

Edward asked Calvin, 'Are you coming over to help collect Barbara's things?'

'Well,' Calvin started nearly choking on a raisin and looking between Katherine and Barbara, 'we haven't actually discussed that.'

No one pressed the subject and Calvin sat back letting the others talk. Sitting by the large window under such high ceilings he wondered if the house could be Georgian. Admiring the spacious front room with its momentous fireplace he felt astonished as to how Barbara could have turned her back on this and people who seemed so welcoming. Their joy of having their daughter back filled the whole room. Edward kept him at ease with frequent knowing nods. Katherine clicked with Emily wonderfully like their stilettos on the kitchen's stone tiles when they went to wash up.

Barbara listed things that needed collecting from her old house. Edward said he'd drive her, Katherine and Calvin in the Jag until, as Barbara considered more stuff, Edward suggested the Range Rover.

With that decided the mood relaxed and Little Spirit popped into conversation. To Calvin's surprise Edward showed real interest.

'An old fellow like me won't understand your music but if you can communicate with the public a career in music is a worthy pursuit whilst you're young. You've always got your degree to fall back on if necessary.'

## Thursday 01st December 1983

After breakfast the mission to collect Barbara's things became increasingly ominous.

'The Range Rover's not nearly big enough,' Emily said consulting the ever expanding list of possessions. 'We need the van.'

Only after lunch did Edward drag a fatigued Bedford van from behind stable doors.

'Haven't used this in months,' he said checking under the diesel stained bonnet.

'It's time to leave,' Emily said.

'Now or never. I don't fancy getting caught in the act,' Katherine said before noticing the van had only three seats. After wasting more time Edward agreed to stay behind. The diminished group did nothing to settle Katherine's anxiety.

Barbara and Katherine slid the passenger door open and climbed onto the bench seat. Calvin, with his minimal driving experience, took the wheel and slid his door shut, screamed the engine then stalled.

'Sorry everyone. Give me a moment.'

'Take your time,' Edward said.

On the second attempt Calvin pulled away.

On the A66 cruising noisily Calvin managed fourth gear. They passed through Keswick and Cockermouth. His driving improved before turning for the coastal town. The closer they got the darker it became and the less anyone spoke until Barbara gave directions to the estate.

At the house Calvin's foot slipped off the clutch lurching everyone to a halt outside the hopefully unoccupied house. Nobody spoke. At that hour on the first day in December heavy clouds made everything seem darker and more menacing.

Barbara led the way, hip-thumping the garden's gate and unlocking the door of the unlit house.

Katherine followed into the no-longer spotless building which now yearned for her mum's touch. The air reeked of beer and the sink overflowed with dishes. Calvin appeared at the door with empty bags they'd brought.

Shaking herself Katherine rushed around praying they'd be done quickly.

Before long the end came into sight. Barbara continued packing upstairs whilst Katherine and Calvin loaded the van.

Neither saw a figure dressed in overalls and work boots slip past. Only by chance did Katherine catch sight of someone disappearing inside the house.

'Oh no,' she said grabbing Calvin's arm.

'What?'

'I think Dad's just gone in the house.'

Looking to Calvin for strength she watched in horror as his expression curdled as sickly as before gigs. Fearing he'd collapse Katherine released his arm and looked away. Shutting her eyes she concentrated, deciding she'd have to sort this out herself. But, amazingly she opened her eyes and saw Calvin marching up the path her dad had just trodden. Feeling as sick as Calvin had looked she tried to follow but her feet seemed stuck to the spot like chewing gum.

Forcing herself to advance she found Calvin at the foot of the stairs.

His voice projected richly. 'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'

Following his gaze she saw her stricken mum laden with bags bungling down the stairs towards them. Her dad stood behind, boot raised, primed to kick. Barbara clonked passed Calvin who'd routed himself to the spot. Alan advanced staring towards him with thunderous anger.

Calvin swallowed. He never owned up to having stage fright largely because of the advice his cousin Geoff fed him. _Never show your fear – or at least never admit it._ And now too, at the foot of the stairs Calvin said nothing. Amy had told him under no circumstances mess with the formidable Alan. _Too late,_ he thought staring through adrenalized tunnel vision into the face of unavoidable violence. And the adrenalin did take hold as blood favouring vital organs forsook his then nonessential digestive system. His lunch travelled south fast.

More words of Cousin Geoff's came to mind. The nightclub bouncer who battled and won every contestation insisted, _fear is natural and healthy_. _Crapping yourself figuratively or literally is no excuse for avoiding what must be done._

Calvin crunched his toes as if gripping the floor as Alan stepped into his personal space. Geoff had said, _when the fight or flight response is activated ninety percent of people will opt for flight._ Comfortably in the ten percent minority Alan showed no signs of fleeing. Calvin shifted his weight to the balls of his feet and bent trembling knees ready for action recalling Geoff's best knowledge too late. _Put your hands up like stop signs establishing distance_. _Your green light to attack comes if your adversary steps into your hands more than once. At the green light ask an obscure question like how old the aggressor is. In the split second it takes them to consider the answer strike the jaw, the 'off switch', with the force of everything you are. Hit anywhere from the ear to chin hard enough and their lights go out._

Unfortunately Calvin's hands hung by his side redundant as Geoff's advice. He braced himself for Alan's onslaught but it didn't come. With deathly silence Alan's eyes locked his. Psychologically meshed, a dreaminess soon threatened to ensnare Calvin who began seeing beyond Alan's evil. It occurred that no matter what bad things Alan had done or become he'd still provided years of food and shelter for the two women quivering nearby. And he'd provided this by decades of mining only to be told, _no more,_ by Thatcher. Calvin grew weaker and stronger as, seduced by the moment, fear waned. Suddenly without warning Alan struck.

Bang!

The explosion of sound in Calvin's head rocked him like an atom bomb. He clenched his eyes as if holding his head together and thrust arms forward whist staggering backwards.

Next back step and Calvin's eyes sprang open as reality swam back. He'd been quick. Alan had broken the spell's binding when, pulling his head back, he'd made for a momentous head butt. Calvin had thrust his head forwards in a subconscious action that had worked perfectly in his favour. The combined weight and speed of colliding heads resulted in Alan's jaw clattering onto the centre of Calvin's forehead – the hardest part of the skull. Alan should have been knocked out cold but, no stranger to the fray, he fought the stars. He wobbled backwards. Calvin pulled together like a boxer. Right fist next to his jaw, elbow tucked in; left hand ready. Alan staggered like a drunk.

'Get in the van,' Calvin yelled but the stunned women didn't move.

Calvin remained watching as Alan's brain, like a computer performing damage reports, ran check after check each one coming back, 'okay'. Calvin needed just one check to come back, 'not okay' and the enemy would still fall. When that didn't happen a wry smile crept across Alan's lips. His return to awareness jolted Katherine and Barbara who finally high tailed it to the van.

Alan bellowed and stepped forwards too soon. Calvin arrested him with a straight right punch to the jaw. The first check Alan ran came back, 'not okay'. Done for, his legs vanished beneath him.

Outside and only seconds after Katherine and Barbara, Calvin hauled himself into the van. Katherine, sitting sideways looking past her mum tried to read his thoughts having never seen him angry.

The engine started but the revs oscillated bizarrely. Everyone's heads nodded like ducks as the van jerked away. Katherine and her mum hung on to each other and dashboard as Calvin zigzagged nearly hitting one parked car, before over correcting and narrowly missing the next.

Finally with the town behind them the driving settled and Calvin rested his elbows on the steering wheel.

'You're doing great,' Katherine said. 'How you feeling?'

'Exhausted.'

'Pull over sweetheart,' Barbara said pointing to a hotel away from the road.

Once in the bar Katherine and Barbara sipped whiskey whilst Calvin slumped at a table slurping Coke. Katherine got up and massaged his shoulders.

'That's amazing,' he said. 'Thanks babe.'

'You're amazing, you deserve it.'

'Amazing,' he mumbled.

'The sugary caffeine will help,' Barbara said.

'I've never seen you like that,' Katherine said. 'I hope you weren't angry with us.'

'No babe – s'just one of them things.'

She slid her arms around him. 'I love you Calvin.'

'You too,' he said patting her arms. 'I need fresh air.'

Outside, now miles from the chemical works, Calvin breathed Cumbria's finest air. Wrecked by the dump of adrenalin he had to find a way to stay awake until Penrith.

Cousin Geoff had told him that powerful exercise rids a body of spent adrenalin. Calvin forced himself to sprint the car park. After a few unimpressive runs he tucked his nose inside his T-shirt. He needed a shower.

Taking the wheel again he felt better noting how the revs no longer oscillated now his foot had stopped shaking. He steered between parked cars without incident. On the road the mood lightened and everyone ended up singing. Within an hour Calvin pulled the van back into the Andersons' courtyard.

Calvin headed straight for the shower.

Dried and dressed he went downstairs to find that Katherine and Barbara had recited the events to Edward and Emily. Edward stood up to shake Calvin's hand and told him bravo as Emily applauded.

'My dear fellow I never would have permitted the journey if I'd suspected there'd be danger.'

'Has he ever behaved violently towards you in the past?' Emily asked Barbara.

Barbara's smile shrank as she looked away and down.

Emily gasped and covered her mouth before reaching for Edward's hand. 'I'm sorry Barbara, we had no idea.'

'You're safe now, all of you are,' Edward said.

'Well I feel safe with Calvin around,' Katherine said squeezing him.

'You're a hero boy.'

Calvin only realised he had no appetite when later Emily served the evening meal.

* * *

In London Danny picked up the phone expecting one of Amy's friends. Instead a male voice said with a French accent, 'Bowel-shatteringly bad news.'

'Raphael?' Danny said. 'Bowel-shatteringly bad news – that's a good one.'

'Oui,' Raphael said glumly.

'What's up?'

'We're on ze verge of signing a deal and my parents won't lend me either car.'

Danny knew this would happen. He bit his lip and counted to ten. 'Damn.'

'I know. They need both cars this weekend but us throwing gear around is causing them too much damage.'

'It's a fair point. Had any positive thoughts yet?'

'None. Short term I propose taxis funded by busking. Something'll come up.'

'Okay, I'll keep thinking too.'

After ringing off Danny considered how much taxiing Raphael's drums to and from Hemel would be. _Some advanced notice would have been nice_ , he thought before considering it had been a long time coming.

* * *

Amy had tired of avoiding Danny during Katherine's absence. That night she watched TV with him. When Danny told her about the cars she felt outraged. 'Don't they understand how important this is?'

'It's kinda understandable.'

'It's a joke.' Amy decided to be nice to Danny the rest of the night.

## Friday 02nd December 1983

The next morning the ringing phone woke Danny. His clock said 09:15. Not wanting to move he waited for Amy to answer. When she didn't he groaned, rolled out of bed, passed the messy floor, grabbed the receiver in the hall and mumbled into it.'

'Hi,' a familiar voice said, 'Is that Danny, or Calvin?'

'It's Danny, is that John?'

'Indeed. Sorry to ring so early. I forget nothing in the music business starts before noon.'

'Don't worry, I've been up ages,' Danny said causing John laughter.

'You'll want to know the contracts have been looked over. The long and short is they're both fair. The record contract is simple – if you sell records you'll make money if you don't you won't. The management contract is standard so even if Richard turns out to be rubbish you can drop him easily enough.

'Great,' Danny said pleased Richard had been straight with them. Amy's door opened. She mouthed, _who is it_? Danny mouthed, _John_.

'Hi John,' she called towards the phone on her way to the bathroom.

'How's things generally?' John asked. Danny told him but didn't mention the transport travesty.

John rang off and Danny phoned Raphael. Thrilled by John's news he said, 'I was sure ze contracts would come good.'

'I didn't mention our transport problems. We might have to appeal to John's better nature in the future.'

'I don't know, we don't want him thinking we're incompetent' Raphael said. 'I suppose he might come through if he sees us struggling with taxis.'

Wrapping up the call Danny caught Amy's attention as she came back from her shower in her bathrobe.

'You got good news Danny?' she said. For a moment Danny just looked at her face. She had no makeup and he still fancied her.

'Yeah, John's lawyer's friend says the contracts are good. We've done it; we've as good as got a record deal.'

* * *

In Penrith Calvin learned the good news of the contracts. Danny had arranged a meeting with GMD the following day. The excitement overshadowed the worries regarding lack of transportation to gigs. But, he wondered how his dad would react.

Calvin waited for Katherine in the sun room with Edward.

'You know,' Edward said, 'riches are first created in the mind.'

'Turning passion to profit as our drummer Raphael would say. D'you really believe that?' Calvin asked.

'Absolutely. Wealth is a feeling deeper than mere emotion. If you think you're not wealthy then make a new choice – here and here.' Edward pointed to head and chest. 'Forget bank balance. If you're wealthy in heart and mind you're wealthy outside too. Look at Barbara. She chose to live on the breadline for years. Now she's made a new choice.'

'Our drummer believes the same thing about wealth and every other thing.'

'He's right,' Edward said.

'I suppose I feel that way about Little Spirit. I know I'm not the world's best bass player and none of us sing that brilliantly and yet I know I'm right for the band as are the others. We're a fantastic team.'

'And do you feel like you're winning?'

'Every day.'

'Excellent. One more thing you should know,' Edward said. 'Giving is important. Give more with your music that you take. Everything you give will come back to you with interest.'

'You know, I believe we do. We love what we do and we do it for the people.'

'Then you're on the right path.' Edward sat back. 'You and Katherine have given so much to Barbara I can't thank you enough.'

* * *

They'd normally busked on Fridays but instead of worrying about the day's lost revenue Danny practiced guitar and exercised hard. But by 5pm he had something to worry about. Calvin still hadn't arrived and Raphael's drum laden taxi would arrive any minute.

And then it happened – Raphael's characteristic rhythmical knock at the door.

'Hi Danny,' Raphael said brightly when Danny open it.

Before Danny could tell him about Calvin's absence, Calvin said, 'Aright mate.'

'Hi,' Danny said stunned to see him with Katherine. 'Is this coincidence?'

'He still believes in coincidences,' Raphael tutted to Calvin.

'How d'you like the band van?' Calvin said ignoring Raphael and pointing. 'It's a gift to Katherine and the band from her new granddad.'

Danny looked at the worn out blue Bedford. It looked like it'd been used to plough fields. A grin blossomed.

## Saturday 03rd December1983

By 11am Saturday the lads had dressed their best and, with Richard from GMD, met John's friend Bernard at his office where everyone had signed the documents.

Afterwards the lads felt bizarrely un-celebratory. That feeling redoubled when Richard clicked his Parker pen and said, 'That's that. You ready to record an album?'

'Of course,' Raphael said.

Austin's studio had become available but, they'd have to wait until February the following year if they didn't start recording in two days.

Leaving the office the stunned lads found payphones and rang their bosses tendering immediate resignations. Liz wished Danny luck and told him he'd always be welcome as worker or punter. Derek expressed shock but excitedly blessed Raphael's good fortune. Ian hit the roof and slammed the phone down on Calvin.

* * *

The band had discussed modifying the van and Raphael drove via a breaker's yard to his family home in Hemel. After reversing onto the drive Raphael's dad appeared eager to help with its customisations. Danny wondered if he felt guilty for withdrawing the use of the cars.

'Bonjour Papa,' Raphael said. Danny thanked him for all the times he'd leant them his car. A speech he repeated when Raphael's mother stepped out to admire the van and congratulate them on signing the deal.

Calvin said little. He hadn't said much since his ex-boss's outburst.

'How did you get on at ze yard?' Raphael's dad asked.

Raphael opened the back of the van. 'Voilà, two double coach seats?'

'Hope you measured them.'

'Bien sûr,' Raphael said.

With his dad's tools and help they moved the van's bulkhead back and bolted the seats in front of it. 'Seven seats and still more than enough room for band equipment. C'est fantastique.'

* * *

Later that night the band, Amy and Katherine rode in the newly fitted van to The Water Rats.

Raphael's new intro music, trialled at the previous night's gig, once again had the desired hushing effect on the audience's chatter. After a few songs Danny told the crowd that they'd signed a record deal and would be recording an album.

Amidst the crowd's surging respect for the band things seemed unreal to Amy. As the band's friend and number one fan she no longer knew where she'd fit into the scheme of things. Beside her Katherine, the bass player's love, brimmed with pride. _What about me?_ Amy wondered.

For the first time in a while she sank a few vodkas and watched Danny owning stage and audience. The voice in her head preached, _admit it Amy he's pure sex._

## Sunday 4th December 1983

Although Katherine would miss Calvin, she felt unreserved happiness. Only Calvin's dad failed to extend best wishes. To him earning money selling records seemed as rotten as conning pensioners out of their savings. Katherine couldn't understand his belief that the only honest living involved Calvin returning to Coventry and utilising his degree.

On Sunday Raphael arrived with the van having raided the music shop for drum heads, guitar strings and synths he'd rented.

In the street she and Amy stood shoulder to shoulder whilst the boys stowed their instruments and bags. Katherine handed Calvin a carrier bag of refreshments for the journey. He assured her the recording wouldn't take longer than necessary and promised to phone every day.

* * *

Hours later the band arrived at Leeds. Austin welcomed them to his family home in suburban Headingley. He showed them a large bedroom containing, to their surprise three single beds. Richard had them believing they'd be sleeping on the floor and be fed bread and water – another detail Austin set them straight on before suggesting they stow their gear safely in the studio.

Raphael rubbed his hands together looking forward to seeing where they'd record.

Outside Danny opened the van doors.

'There she is – the Vox AC30,' Austin said but stayed quiet when Calvin dragged his old amp out and followed him to the building beside the house. Fleeting despondency washed over Calvin recalling the arguments his amp caused with Tom when recording the demo.

They dumped the gear in the hall beyond the security door. Calvin clocked Raphael's disappointed look. Clearly he didn't want to have to wait until morning to see the studio's control room.

## Monday 05th December 1983

The band had been told to get up when they wanted the next day but excitement had the better of them.

'Morning guys,' their producer said eventually ambling into the front room where they'd been waiting ages.

The band knew GMD's payment to Austin had been based on completed album not on hourly rate. They knew the approach to recording would be different from the frenetic demo at Tom's studio but they hadn't left their London jobs and bosses in the lurch just to sit around.

Soon though Austin nodded towards the door and the lads finally saw The Production Annex. Danny looked to Calvin who looked to Raphael each lad equally shocked at the rooms' hideousness. Instead of Tom's contemporary black and grey decor Austin's control room had shabby brown walls and carpet, not soundproofed doors but hefty traditional oak. Instead of a cave-like atmosphere, daylight forced its way passed filthy glass. Where Tom's equipment looked state-of-the-art with flashing LEDs, Austin's look dated and random with analogue meters. And rather than discrete wall mounted sound baffles, scruffy oxidised acoustic-foam boards hung angled from the ceiling.

Unconcerned with the lads' reaction Austin put the kettle on whilst everyone settled on seating that may have been retrieved from a fly tip.

Austin slouched in his swivel chair which actually looked like it might have cost a pretty penny. Over mugs of tea they discussed musical likes and dislikes. Looking around the mess of leads and archaic equipment Calvin virtually lost hope of achieving a modern sound.

Sometime before lunch the lads set up under Austin's supervision. His knowledge of the studio meant he knew precisely where everything would sound best. The drums took the live room. Danny placed his AC30 in the hall, precisely where the mic would capture divine ambience. The bass amp, angled at thirty-eight degrees, occupied the vocal booth. Dismissing Tom's ignorance Austin advised he'd blend a DI bass sound with Calvin's old amp.

With Raphael banging drums in the live room Calvin and Danny joined Austin in the control room where the music they played came through immense studio monitors. Austin balancing sounds ran from room to room fine tuning the drum heads and swapping Raphael's felt kick drum beater for a wooden one. He tried a different mic on Calvin's bass amp. They played through lunch and into evening whilst Austin twirled knobs on the amps and equipment.

Needles on meters twitched if they worked and if they didn't Austin simply trusted his ears; aiming to achieve the best possible sound at source rather than later fixing things in the mix. The band finally understood that visual aesthetics paled in the face of sound quality's importance as Austin drew fabulousness from the Soviet looking equipment.

'Okay, we'll wrap it up there for today,' Austin eventually said. 'Please nobody touch anything. It's nearly there.'

## Tuesday 06th December 1983

The band set to playing their songs after another leisurely start to the day.

'We're doing well,' Austin said whilst shaking his head and further adjusting Calvin's bass amp. He stopped Raphael's playing in order to Sellatape an expired Access card to the kick drum head brightening its attack.

After more time and more twiddling he said, 'Okay guys, now we're sounding really good.'

With that he fitted two new 16-track Ampex reels to synchronised tape machines.

Still lacking urgency everyone got to chatting again. Eventually the subject of the season's Grand Prix ran dry.

The band looked to Austin. He smiled, opened his hands and casually said, 'Let's record.'

Though everyone played, only the drums went to tape and only after Austin had challenged Raphael to conjure even higher musicality and originality for his _Life in the Sunshine_ drum-track.

'I'm feeling inspired,' he said.

Getting up, he stereo mic'd a small amp in the live room beside the drums. 'I'll split Calvin's DI'd bass sound and send some to this amp.'

Raphael wondered if Austin had gone mad as one mic picked up sympathetic resonance from the drums but Austin loved the result.

In the control room the bass suddenly sounded wide but nasty. Austin applied a noise gate silencing all but the loudest notes. 'Never tried this before,' he said re-adding Calvin's originally blended DI and amp sounds to create a rich bass sound where only the louder notes exuded width with over-aggression.

Raphael at once heard the benefits of Austin's ingenuity. 'This album's going to be out of this world, yes?'

'Just wait till we process the drums,' Austin said.

## Saturday 10th December 1983

With bass and drums recorded for album tracks, B-sides and extended versions Austin would have concentrated on vocals but gave the lads Saturday off so he could prepare the recorded tracks.

After a day in Leeds city centre the band headed back to the studio. Raphael knocked on the door.

'Come in,' Austin said. He rewound the tapes. 'You need to hear this from the beginning.'

Danny said, 'Let me guess, Raphael's been replaced by drum machine?'

'No chance,' Austin said. 'Now, I know you've heard some bands recorded here ...'

'Do we sound like The USed Wonz?' Calvin asked.

Austin made a hang-on gesture and set the tapes rolling. 'Remember the guitars and vocals are only rough guides but basically you sound like _this_ ...'

Austin had spent the whole day processing the bass and drum parts. Through the whopping studio monitors what they'd recorded sounded—

'Amazing,' Raphael said. 'I sound totally amazing.'

The drums appeared both snappy like Stewart Copeland's yet huge like Jon Bonham's. The snarling distinctive bass melded incredibly with them.

## Monday 12th December 1983

Katherine learned through Loretta's chatty letters that John had been welcomed back into Saint Tropez's yachting community and before her Monday shift she found another letter on the flat's doormat. She always asked after Elaine and the others and again read of their happiness. Katherine had been writing details of Little Spirit so Loretta could surprise John who'd rave about them never believing anyone could know more than him about the band. Loretta wrote that he always spoke fondly of her. Katherine reckoned his words must have been effective when at the end of the letter she found a postscript reading, _PS: someone else wants to write._

Below Loretta's PS and in new handwriting Katherine read words so kind she wouldn't have believed came from the same person who'd last beaten her so hard-heartedly – Elaine. She passed greetings to Amy and Calvin and said she hoped to see everyone soon.

* * *

In Leeds the band sang for two solid days learning each other's parts in addition to their own so as to triple-track their voices creating harmonic denseness to rival Queen.

Once the solo and harmony voices had been recorded Danny's guitar parts went to tape. As the songs approached apparent finality the lads set to listening to other contemporary records for reference. Big Country and Simple Minds gave them a run for their money but not so much as bands produced by Trevor Horn who'd even outdone himself. Yes's sublime album _90125_ paled when Austin played Frankie Goes to Hollywood's _Relax,_ a song that had incredibly so far failed to go Top-40.

'Crikey,' Raphael said. 'That put things in perspective.'

'That's what we're up against,' Austin said. 'Of course their budget's massive. A mate told me, Trevor re-mortgaged his house to buy the Fairlight-II used on this track.'

'Blimey,' Calvin said imagining the Fairlight as a house-sized machine outdoing the job of musicians and songwriters.

'But with your songs and my mixing we're still contenders,' Austin said. 'We've got ninety percent done but it's the last ten that takes ninety percent of the time.

Calvin couldn't understand how they could possibly spend any more time on the songs. But over the next week, as the band ploughed into the last ten percent of the album he found out.

Sometimes everyone would be back in the studio after they thought they'd wrapped up for the day. Raphael kept busy recording keyboard parts. Calvin found himself more frequently on the couch at the back falling asleep whilst the others twiddled knobs making things sound in his opinion only negligibly better. He'd wake up in the night seeing them still at the desk working away perhaps drenching backing vocals in reverb creating dreamy synthesiser-esque pad chords.

## Saturday 17th December 1983

Calvin kept his promise and phoned Katherine every night. When neither could stand being apart longer Katherine made plans with Amy and Barbara. On the last Saturday before Christmas Eve she and Amy left Kings Cross bound for Leeds and a rendezvous with the band who'd be out of the studio and busking the city's streets.

In Leeds train station before noon Amy stood by as Katherine hugged her mum.

'Wow you look the healthiest I've ever seen you,' Katherine said.

'It's working for your granddad. It's hard; I'm up and down stairs all day but I get looked after, and have disposable income.' Barbara smiled wickedly.

'Any news on Sarah and Jayne?'

Barbara's shoulders dropped. 'I phone them every day but they won't speak to me.'

'That's awful,' Amy said.

'I'll tell you what's awful; I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. How bad's that?'

Amy swallowed her words having assumed Barbara's other daughter to be as rude as Jayne had been. She took Katherine's absence of comments to mean she didn't miss the girls either.

Arriving at the hotel Barbara checked into a single room and Katherine and Amy a twin.

'So are we seeing John this weekend?' Amy asked Katherine when they regrouped in the lobby.

'John?' Barbara said.

Katherine noted her mum rubbing her palms together like a kid anticipating sweets.

'I told him we'd be here,' Katherine said. 'He said he'd love to hear the band in the studio. And yes, there's a message at reception saying he's arriving at The Hilton later.'

'Ooh lovely,' Barbara said triumphantly.

Amy noticed Katherine looking crestfallen.

* * *

They found Little Spirit on Briggate, the city's busiest street, entertaining the Christmas shoppers en-mass. The un-missable banners displayed the band name behind the black, white and blue uniformed lads.

After the reunion the girls sang and danced helping punters fill Danny's guitar case with coins. Raphael noticed Amy's expression having seen a bespectacled brunette fixated with Danny. He wished they'd either get together or move on.

When the girls left, Amy distracted her thoughts from Danny and his besotted specky friend by concentrating on shopping. So did Barbara who, making the most of her disposable income, bought two pairs of heels and a fitted dress. The lingerie she chose shocked Katherine who bit her lip when her mum joined the till's mile long queue.

When the girls met the lads at a café for lunch they warmed up with cups of tea.

Raphael's eyes popped when Barbara showed him the lacy-topped stockings she'd bought. 'Some lucky man's in for a treat.'

'Do you mind?' Katherine said looking away.

Winking at Barbara, Raphael said, 'I wouldn't mind at all.'

'Katherine's spoken to John,' Amy said taking the edge off the mood. 'He's coming up tonight hopefully to see you guys in the studio at some point.'

'Well we'll be back in tomorrow. Be good to see him there,' Danny said.

After lunch the women shopped and the band cracked into more busking. They appeared to be doing well but two hours later the shoppers began losing momentum so the lads wrapped up.

Back in the van Calvin said, 'I fancy playing a Headingley crowd.'

'Most students will be heading home but it might be worth a look,' Raphael said.

Worn out Danny agreed; more busking could only create more exposure. Calvin drove and as they drew near they could see students packing out the Hyde Park Pub and celebrating around the paved outer area and picnic tables.

'This is ideal,' Danny said shaking his tiredness away.

'I know,' Raphael said spying a group of girls. 'Look at those skimpy Santa outfits – must be freezing.'

Calvin bumped the van up a curb parking. 'Another gig?'

'Guess so,' Danny said.

Out came the backdrops and instruments. Soon the cocky band stood singing from the picnic tables stealing attention.

'You're a ballsy bunch aren't you?' a middle aged man said after the lads thanked everyone who'd listened and packed away their gear.

'Cheers,' Raphael said.

'Can't say I've seen you around here before.'

'We've been sent from London to record at Ze Production Annex.'

'The Production Annex?' He sounded impressed. 'Tell Austin, Sam says hi.'

'Of course.'

'I own The Brudenell Social Club round the corner. If you wanna gig get Austin to contact me.'

'We'll do that for sure. Cheers again,' Raphael said shaking his hand.

* * *

Waiting in the hotel lobby for a taxi Amy needn't have worried about being overdressed. Katherine looked resplendent as always but so did Barbara in her new outfit.

'Oh, don't encourage her,' Katherine pleaded when Amy complimented her. To Barbara she said, 'Thought you said beauty brings trouble?'

'I've decided beauty brings change and that's good.'

'Not always,' Katherine said sulkily getting into the taxi.

The lads, having arrived at the restaurant a moment earlier escorted the girls from the taxi. Struggling self-consciously in her flashy dress Amy misheard something Danny said in her direction. 'Pardon.'

'Nothing,' he muttered.

Unsure whether she'd been complimented or disparaged she fiddled with her hair and pulled at her dress wondering what could be wrong.

Raphael took Barbara's arm and the waiter looked at Danny. 'Table for six?'

'Seven,' a confident voice boomed from behind.

'Hi John,' Danny said before anyone else could and, after everyone else did, the waiter showed them to their table. Amy tried to avoid sitting opposite Danny but Barbara and John sat facing one another leaving Danny to join her.

'You don't have to worry about me having no partner,' Raphael said taking a seat at the head of the table, 'I collected five phone numbers today.'

'Did you get any?' Amy asked Danny automatically.

'Less than Raphael,' Danny said looking the menu over.

'What about that specky girl?' Amy cursed her blabbering mouth.

Danny lowered his menu. 'I didn't get any numbers actually. Why d'you ask?'

Amy snatched her menu up and pretended to read. 'Don't know.'

* * *

After the meal the group headed to nearby bars. Although a decade John's senior Katherine saw Barbara loving his attention.

Standing with Amy by the bustling dance floor Katherine said, 'I can't stand seeing them together like this.'

'She deserves some fun and who better than John to have it with?'

'It's not John I'm bothered about,' Katherine said. 'It just seems wrong.'

'I know but—'

'I've got to say something to her,' Katherine said, taking off but shouting back, 'Keep John entertained will you?'

She returned, forced a smile at John and still unhappy said to Amy, 'You're to have this.'

'Why?' Amy asked taking Barbara's room key.

Katherine turned out of John's earshot. 'She's going back to John's hotel whether I like it or not. She told me to look at the bright side. If you have her room I can have a night with Calvin in ours – if you don't mind of course. I'm presuming you'd prefer you own room?'

'Okay,' Amy said hiding a twinge of loneliness.

'It's a small consolation for us both.'

Amy looked towards Danny but rejected the impulse to drag him back to the single room.

* * *

Nearby Raphael said, 'Hey Danny, Amy looks amazing. Go and make a move?'

'I made a move.'

'When?'

'You know when. Ages ago. She's not interested.'

'Danny, she's interested. At least let her know how beautiful you think she is.'

'I did.'

'Not tonight.'

'Yes tonight.'

'Really – what happened?'

'She turned away looking hurt.'

'What?' Raphael didn't know whether to laugh. 'What did she say?'

'She said ...' Raphael waited for Danny to continue. 'Actually she might not have heard me properly.'

'Might not have heard you properly?' Raphael said sardonically. 'Come on mate.'

'Well, she knows where I am.'

'Mate it's not her job to come to you. It's yours to go to her. Her job is to look gorgeous and she does. Go get her.'

'When she wants someone she goes and gets them. I know Amy.'

'No – you knew Amy – the old one. Whoever wants that one,' he pointed to the buxom blonde, 'has to go to her.'

## Sunday 18th December 1983

The next morning Amy woke alone in Barbara's single room. She breakfasted with Katherine and Calvin while John and Barbara went to the single room to get changed and check out before going to The Production Annex.

Once there Amy noticed the control room's fustiness. It smelt of too many boys who'd been there too long. Smaller than expected she smiled seeing the lads' instruments and had the urge to play Raphael's drums which stood behind glass surrounded by mics amongst a snake pit of leads.

Austin played the recordings. Amy felt gobsmacked; everyone did.

Amy took photos and John tried getting into them all until around 11am her camera ran out of film and John ran out of questions.

'Actually whilst you're all here,' Austin said, 'the record could use some enthusiastic crowd noise.'

Within minutes he'd set up mics. On their side of the glass everyone else stood next to the drums clapping and cheering no one happier than John who couldn't believe he'd be part of the Little Spirit album.

Once back in the control room Austin said, 'Just a thought but are any of you ladies singers?'

Katherine and Amy looked at each other. Amy said, 'Well, I can hold a tune but I'm no Shirley Bassey. Why?'

'Let's hear you,' Austin said playing a C on Raphael's synth. 'Can you sing that note?'

'Ahhhh,' Amy sang.

'Very good. Barbara?'

'Don't look at me,' she laughed. Her hands made stop signs.

'Alright, Katherine let's hear you.'

'Ahhhh.'

'Hmm, not bad.'

'Are we being replaced?' Raphael asked.

'No, just introducing some female presence.'

Katherine's mouth dried as the prospect of singing dawned on her. Amy appeared wide eyed and visibly tense too but took the mic first.

Soon she sang 'ooh' sounds to the vocal chords the boys had already recorded. Katherine thought her voice sounded surprisingly rocky and figured her own wouldn't sound half as good.

'You're doing great,' Austin said through the control room mic to Amy's headphones.

Then came Katherine's turn. After a few false starts she found her voice coming high and flute-like.

'Lovely,' Austin said. 'Can you sing along to this?' Another song appeared in her headphones. Minutes later she'd doubled Calvin's top line of, _I Can't Wish_.

With Katherine done Austin requested Amy back to the mic saying, 'We could do with some screams and general girly sounds.'

Back in the control room Katherine watched her friend at the mic, with Austin and the band not buying her fake giggles and shrieks.

'Keep ze tape rolling,' Raphael said. 'I'll get her going.'

Nodding, Austin told Amy, 'Raphael's coming in to adjust your mic.'

Katherine watched with the others as Raphael appeared behind Amy. He positioned her two feet from the mic. Without warning slapped her backside.

'Oi!' she yelped as the control room audience laughed. 'What you doin'?'

'Sorry Amy it's just that your bum is too tempting.' Raphael grabbed and Amy yelped again. 'I won't do it again,' he said stepping back.

'Oooh, you better hadn't,' she said letting him reposition her. But Raphael's hands slipped round and tickled her. Suddenly the control room speakers gave a wealth of girly squeaks and filthy giggles.

'You getting this?' Raphael called.

'That ought to do it,' Austin laughed. But as soon as the crimson faced Amy appeared in the control room Austin said, 'Right, your turn Katherine.' Not wanting to be manhandled by Raphael she obediently stood behind the mic and jumped into character.

'The album's essentially finished,' Austin said afterwards. 'Now the lads have to relearn the songs for a live show.'

'That reminds me,' Raphael said, 'we met Sam yesterday; he said we should gig his venue.'

'The Brudenell? If he's got a slot you should.'

* * *

The visitors left promising to stop by on Thursday for the band's last night. They headed back to the train station; John bound for London, Katherine, Barbara and Amy bound for Penrith.

* * *

In the studio later that day a voice outside the control room door said, 'Knock-knock.'

'Come in,' Austin shouted towards the opening door. 'Hiya Sam, you've met Little Spirit I believe.'

'Aye, the latest Production Annex thoroughbreds.'

'That's right. Wanna hear what we've been up to?'

'Always.'

Austin rewound the reels. Hitting play the speakers let him have it. Danny watched Sam's eyebrows jump with surprise and lower as he concentrated. He looked at Raphael and nodded.

Austin hit stop in the last chorus of a new song called, _Wonderful World_ and said, 'What d'ya think?'

'Blimey, you've really done it this time. That's awesome.'

'Thought you'd like it,' he said smugly.

Sam said, 'I'd have never guessed you'd have sounded like that after hearing you lot acoustically yesterday.' He looked at Raphael. 'You never played them drums live.'

'He did.' Austin nodded to the kit through the glass.

'Show me,' Sam said, 'I'm a bit of a drummer myself.'

Raphael stood up as if that'd be the hardest thing he'd have to do that day and led the way to the live room. Sitting at the drums he performed the intricate drum part with ease. Pausing after a few bars he said, 'Fancy a go?

'I'll try.'

As Raphael expected Sam had trouble with the stick part and had no hope putting it together with the feet.

After Sam gave up Raphael stepped back into the control room, winked at Danny and sat back down.

'You guys here until Christmas?' Sam asked.

'We're leaving Friday the twenty-third,' Danny said.

'Still here Thursday,' Sam pondered. 'You've gotta play The Brudenell.'

'That'd be great,' Austin said. 'They're going into production rehearsal tomorrow.'

'We are?' Danny asked.

'Nowt else to record. You need to relearn the songs. It's been agreed with Richard. You'll have to be sharp for the showcase gigs he's getting you.'

'Showcase?' Calvin asked.

'Tell him Sam.'

'They're often afternoon gigs where you do maybe three songs along with other hopeful bands. There's usually a decent crowd but there should be music industry reps.'

'Cool,' Raphael said.

'Sometimes,' Sam agreed.

## Monday 19th December 1983

The next day Austin jumped in the van and directed the lads to the Hall Manor rehearsal rooms a short drive away. When Calvin pulled alongside an old red brick building Austin knocked on an innocuous looking door. Seconds later a man appeared. He opened hefty metal gates and waved the van in. Calvin crunched reverse. Under the man's supervision he backed the van between iron gates.

Austin appeared at the passenger window saying, 'This is Sebastian the boss.'

Jumping out the driver's seat Calvin grabbed Raphael's floor tom, turned round and came face-to-face with a mighty Alsatian.

'Don't worry,' Sebastian called from inside the side door, 'he's a pup and very friendly.'

Calvin relaxed but Raphael looked petrified. His eyes bulged like the dog had triggered allergies.

'What's your name?' Sebastian asked him.

'Err ...' Raphael said having forgotten.

'Put your hand like this,' Sebastian said holding his hand loosely.

'Why?' Raphael stammered.

'So Benny can get to know you.' Raphael looked too scared to respond. 'Hang on,' Sebastian said handing Raphael some Bonio biscuits. Benny sat like a good boy anticipating a treat. 'There you are, you're friends,' Sebastian said as Benny gently took the biscuit.

Calvin and Danny carted all the gear into the hall and onto its stage fabulously decked with lighting system and PA.

'Let's get started?' Austin ordered. Raphael jumped to it and Sebastian took Benny away.

Nobody but Austin anticipated the day being so long. Playing through the PA, Austin took them back to basics, teaching them to soundcheck the vocal mics properly. Every knob on every amp and effect pedal underwent review; manipulated with until the drums, bass, and guitar sat perfectly. The songs got dragged this way and that and with different tempos.

Austin told them to 'ease off the gas' and limited Calvin to two springboard jumps per show. 'Play at eighty percent that way you pace yourselves and always have something in reserve. Remember, racing drivers don't accelerate all the time. They use their brakes and even freewheel into bends.'

## Wednesday 21st December 1983

The following morning at Hall Manor Calvin considered Austin's advice of playing at eighty percent but figured today's eighty would be measly compared to the previous day's.

Oddly though they got through Tuesday and Wednesday and instead of tiring they toughened up.

Austin loved Raphael's new introductory music and remixed it adding the chants and cheers recorded when the girls and John had visited the studio.

After Wednesday's rehearsal Austin phoned The Brudenell Social Club and let Sam know that Little Spirit would be visiting. Sam put them on the guest list.

Ever sharply uniformed, the band drove to Hyde Park on their penultimate night. Following Austin's directions they found what looked like a working men's social club but with a queue made up of students. Chins up and chests out Little Spirit strolled to the front to advise the doorman of their guest list status.

'That's us,' Calvin said pointing to the brute's clipboard.

'In ya go lads,' he said without a second glance.

Inside, the foyer still looked like a social club but with posters of original bands instead of the usual cheesy cover bands. Calvin recognised that the bands looked cool but in a way Little Spirit lacked. These youthful student bands set fashion; they didn't follow it. Without hearing so much as the tail end of a soundcheck the lads guessed the night would be one of 'experimental' music.

At show time the bass player of the first band didn't wear a medallion round his neck, he'd stuck it to his forehead and stood at the front of the stage swaying like a mental patient; rocking with tongue blobbing in and out cretinously. The other band members behaved equally strangely. The room, full of people so close to Christmas, may not have danced but they did resonate.

'Guys,' Raphael said after the first band finished, 'why are we gigging here?'

Calvin shrugged. 'Beats the shit out of me. This isn't our scene. Putting us on that stage would be like serving beef tripe to vegetarians.'

'If I see Sam I'll ask what he was thinking,' Raphael said.

The next band came on bringing a wholly different sound from the first but equal doses of weirdness. Unlike the first band they didn't even glance at the audience. Dressed exclusively in white like scientists they expressed unwavering concentration on their synths and drum machines. The lads agreed though magnificent their sounds didn't resemble music. Raphael watched the audience response. Nobody danced but some responded as if hearing angels. He wondered what drugs they must have taken.

The last band contrasted starkly and actually had songs. Called Purple Python they wore jeans and T-shirts and lacked the avant-garde of the first two bands but they still seemed highly alternative; their songs rolling like folk music. Still nobody danced but the last song grabbed Raphael's attention. Though as nondescript as the others it ended with the guitarist taking off his instrument and leaving it feeding back on its stand. He took a stick from the drummer's quiver and, unfastening a tom from the drum kit banged out a rhythm. The keyboard player did the same helping himself to another mounted tom.

Finally the bass player took to the floor tom with two drumsticks. All four of them thumped away on the dismantled drum kit. The powerful and original sound inspired Raphael to introduce himself.

The cacophonous coda ended achieving the biggest cheer of the evening.

When Purple Python later emerged from backstage Raphael greeted them with exaggerated enthusiasm. He should have guessed they'd be too _clever_ for his compliments.

'Great, thanks,' the drummer said with an air of arrogance that suggested Raphael wouldn't understand the degree of their brilliance. Raphael flushed red as the synth player ignored him heading towards where their friends and partners waited for them. Provocatively he followed the know-it-all amateur musicians into the middle of their tribe.

Whilst the musicians enjoyed their welcome, Raphael smiled and talked to the rest of their group bewildering them by his presence. He learned from their girlfriends how they'd all met, engaging them but ignoring the band members.

When he spotted Sam near the back wall he told the group that Little Spirit would be playing the next day. Right in front of the musicians he took a phone number from one of the girlfriends.

'Right, it's a date,' he said. Before anyone could counter he stood. 'Excuse me I need to see Sam ze manager. Speak to you tomorrow.'

He got up and headed directly towards Sam fearing someone might follow him. A merciful backward glance showed nobody had. He thanked Sam for putting Little Spirit on the guest list.

'We've found ze bands very, interesting,' he said stretching the truth. 'We're just concerned we'll struggle to fit in.'

Sam said, 'Tonight's bands have been different from you but different from each other too.'

'But they're similarly, alternative. Are you sure we'll be okay?'

'Appealing to the mainstream is no bad thing,' Sam said. 'The important thing is that bands believe in their music whether they're typically good or not. That's what I like to see and hear on my stage and that's what I liked seeing you guys busking outside The Hyde Park pub. What you do comes all the way from your boots and you really care about your audience. Keep that in mind and you'll be better than okay.'

## Thursday 22nd December 1983

On their final Thursday Calvin stood on Hall Manor's stage singing his parts, his fingers happily finding their frets. All three band members had now internalised the songs and performance. Austin found less and less to coach them on saying only gigging could bring further improvement. But having steeped themselves in Hall Manor for days the band felt sadness when dismantling the drum kit and amps to pack the van.

Sebastian wished them the best telling them if they recorded a second album with Austin they'd be welcome back.

Raphael spent ages saying goodbye to Sebastian's Alsatian before Calvin drove them back to The Production Annex.

'Last night tonight chaps,' Austin said as everyone joined at the meal table.

'What happens next?' Calvin asked.

'Most immediately you gig the Brudenell Social.'

'And see Katherine again,' Raphael pointed.

'But what happens with the album?' Danny asked.

'I'll put the finishing touches to the mix then meet Richard and you in the New Year. We'll listen together and if we're happy with the mixes it'll be sent for mastering.'

'You can't master them yourself?' Calvin asked.

'I could, and I do master work from other studios but recordings benefit from fresh ears. So the mixes go elsewhere and other seasoned engineers will polish them.'

When evening fell they headed to the gig. As the middle band of three they soundchecked second.

'Wanna make yourself useful Austin?' Sam asked nodding to the mixing desk.

'You want me to engineer their sound?'

Sam nodded and Calvin watched as the resident sound-guy welcomed Austin behind the desk.

Calvin saw the first of the weird students arriving before Little Spirit handed the stage to the last band for their soundcheck.

The last band soundchecked quickly making wah-wah guitar and vocal grunts to jazzy chords provided by a weedy sounding synth. Calvin again became anxious as to Little Spirit's suitability for the venue.

As more people entered the room Raphael kept watch for the friends he'd either made or more likely wound up the previous night.

'Austin,' Calvin said once Sam had moved on, 'we don't relate to this audience and vice versa. We're mainstream these people are, I dunno, odd.'

'Keep in mind how you felt in the studio. Stay true to your feelings and these so called odd people will forget their oddness and enjoy the show. And, if not there's always, the intro music.'

Calvin laughed. 'That'd give anyone a run for their money.'

'Don't worry. My brother will be along soon with some solid Yorkshire folk. That'll balance things out.'

Calvin sat next to Raphael. Facing the door from the foyer and he asked Raphael, 'How's it going matey?'

'Good, just keeping my eyes open for those people I was talking to last time. I didn't phone ze girl but I may have infuriated ze band.'

'You'll get us all into trouble,' Danny said.

'I know, I was an idiot,' Raphael said before changing the subject. 'Shouldn't our girls be here by now?'

When the next crowd of people came through the door Calvin searched for familiar faces. 'It's Darren,' he said first spotting Austin's brother. A female in the group struck him as being as impossibly beautiful as Katherine. Right then he recognised his beloved gliding towards him; overdressed to perfection.

'Austin was right. It's a decent sized gang,' Danny said jumping to his feet.

Calvin embraced Katherine and closed his eyes. When he blinked them open he saw John and Barbara.

'They're back too,' Katherine said.

'You okay with it?'

'What the hell, why not? He makes her so that damn cheerful.'

Raphael exited the group and headed for the bar. Someone caught him unawares. He spun round nearly spilling his pint of dilute orange.

'You didn't call,' the Purple Python girlfriend whose name he couldn't remember said. 'You're lucky we're here.'

Standing at the bar Raphael looked past her shoulder and said, 'Sorry, I got cold feet. Didn't think your boyfriend would appreciate my calling you.'

'He's alright,' she said giving her bearded partner a wave. He didn't wave back. Neither did he smile. When she invited Raphael to join their group he told her he'd be over shortly. He felt the group might be here to ridicule Little Spirit's performance. Fortunately an idea came to mind.

Minutes later Raphael showed up to the Purple Python group. Smiling he said, 'Hi guys this is John.' Disinterested faces glanced up. 'He's from London and is a major financier to BMG. He introduces underground acts to them and gives them ze platform they require. He's very influential.' That got their attention. 'I've told him of your original sound and style.'

Only too happy to play along John revelled in hero worship.

Excusing himself from the group Raphael left John showing off his new found knowledge of the music business and promoting Little Spirit to them.

When John re-joined the Little Spirit camp he sat next to Barbara. Flashing Raphael a raised eyebrow he tapped his breast pocket and showed him the corner of a TDK cassette. 'Their demo.'

When Little Spirit took the stage the biggest cheers came from Darren and his mates. The three band members positively put their faith in the songs. On stage and into the set their certainty of the songs' strength warmed the audience who couldn't help but fall into sympathy with their vibe.

By the time they came to _Magic Words_ the faces in the audience reflected honest passion.

Amy witnessed the band's first gig since their migration to Leeds noting how it had stretched and sharpened them. The remixed intro piece had awed them sounding exciting with crowds cheering the band name. Unlike so many bands Little Spirit had grown fearless to being quiet and their hushed passages made the loud sections ever more powerful.

Danny looked sexier than ever and Amy swooned until the band concluded their set with a new anthem called _Wonderful World._

* * *

'Very good,' Austin said joining the band back at the table. 'I counted three jumps on that damn springboard Calvin but I'll forgive you that.'

As a euphoric vibe enveloped them all Amy looked adoringly at Danny. Staring she didn't turn away before Danny caught her. Amy gasped and registering Danny's eyes narrowing she melted before looking away. Under the table she fumbled for and squeezed Katherine's knee

'Amy are you alright?'

'I fancy a cigarette.'

'I haven't seen you smoke in ages.'

'Yeah, well. Come with me?'

At the cigarette machine Amy flustered scrabbling for change.

'What's the matter?' Katherine asked.

Amy shut her bag and forgetting cigarettes explained her moment with Danny.

Katherine said, 'He saw you looking lustfully at him?'

'Maybe lustfully, but more, romantically, than anything else. He'd have to be daft not to have seen it.'

'He is kind of daft.'

'Can't be that blind can he?'

'What of it, he knows the truth.'

'What truth?'

'Why else would you give him a look like that? You're scared to admit it. I'd probably be the same,' Katherine confessed.

'Maybe I don't want to like him.'

'It's time you talked to him. Rather than pretending you don't like him be honest; tell him you don't know how you feel.'

'I don't want to get used or hurt. I'd hate if he slept with me but didn't want me afterwards. I'd hate to sleep with him and be stuck with him if I didn't want him again.'

'I know.'

'He's never connected with the girls he's been out with. He uses them then drops them when he's had enough.'

'Hmm, does that remind you of anyone else?'

'Well, I've changed,' she said. Katherine looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 'I have.'

'I wasn't meaning you. 'Maybe he's changed. Maybe previous girls weren't right for him, like those previous boys weren't right for you.'

* * *

At the end of the night Danny rode shotgun in the van next to Austin and Calvin. Raphael sat in the back with Darren and his girlfriend. Amy had gone back to the hotel with Katherine, John and Barbara.

'Good gig,' Calvin said pulling out the car park.

'It wasn't the only significant event though,' Danny said.

'Amy,' Calvin said. 'Katherine told me.'

Raphael leant forwards, 'What about Amy did you snog her?'

'No, I just caught her looking at me strangely. Made me feel kind of funny.'

'She's lovely,' Darren said gaining a dig from his girlfriend. 'What?'

'I keep telling you she likes you,' Raphael said.

'There was something there but nothing happened,' Danny said. 'Anyway, Raphael you're lucky to be walking out that club taking the mick out of that other band and nicking their girlfriends.'

'They loved me,' he said. 'They believe John could give them ze break they're searching for. I made their night. And got them on side whilst we played. I'm a hero.'

## Friday 23rd December 1983

The next morning Calvin parked the Bedford van between a Daimler and a Porsche at the Hilton. The doorman looked shocked when they jumped out but relaxed seeing them greet Barbara and John.

Barbara hugged Katherine and handed her a bag of Christmas presents. Linking arms with John they bid them Merry Christmas and headed to the Train Station to spend Christmas in separate towns.

Danny asked Katherine, 'Are you riding up front with Calvin?'

'That'd be nice,' she said. Shutting the cargo doors Danny rounded the van and climbed towards the back seats but stopped surprise to see Amy had already plonked herself in the coach seat behind the driver. She leant sleepily against her coat with closed eyes. Raphael having taken the double coach seat on the other side motioned Danny to join her.

Contentedly, he sat and closed his eyes as Amy wordlessly made herself comfy against him.

## Monday 2nd January 1984

After a Christmas in Coventry with Calvin's parents Katherine stepped through the flat's door and smiled. 'It's good to have the real you back babe,' she said wrapping her arms around him. 'You're so different around your folks.'

'I am back I promise,' Calvin said kicking the door shut. He swept Katherine off her feet and carried her up to their room leaving their dumped bags by the door.

Laying her on the bed he dived beside her. She cuddled into him and considered the past week. Though she knew he suffered from stage fright he always got through it but seeing him in the company of his dad had been a revelation.

'I told you when we first met I can't find a way round his watertight arguments.'

'But he argues according to his reality.'

'Doesn't everyone? And they're still good arguments.'

'I don't know,' Katherine said with frustration.

On the first evening she'd overheard Calvin and his dad talking whilst his mum had popped out for more coal. _A woman like that requires a hell of a lot of looking after,_ he'd said about Katherine. _If you want to keep her you'll require the security and stability that regular income provides. If you don't sort yourself out quick-smart she won't be around to invite next Christmas. You've no income at all now you've upset the printers. Take a leaf out of Justin's book. Life'd be a lot simpler._

They'd dressed for midnight mass and headed to the Catholic Church where Calvin's older brother Justin conducted the service. Katherine met Justin at the back of the church as the congregation exited. Unlike most men Katherine met Justin had taken a vow of celibacy. But just like most his eyes nearly popped out when he first saw her as the drowsiness that'd followed the deacon's sermon took flight.

Justin admired his younger brother's vivacity for music and to break from the 'safe' option.

On Christmas Day he told Katherine that their father had an exceptional talent for making people feel moronic. Calvin suffered ever more after Justin's career choice only just fell within acceptable principles.

'You know,' Calvin said bringing Katherine back to the present, 'ages ago, Raphael suggested I'm the weak link in Little Spirit.'

'What? Why would he think that?' She lifted her head from his chest facing him.

'He reckons he's a hundred percent up for success and Danny's not got any other options. But he thinks I've got a backup plan. Reckons because my dad wants me back in Coventry I could disappear ruining Little Spirit's chances.'

'What do you think?'

'Truthfully, I think he has a point.'

'What do you want?'

'I want the band to work more than anything. And I want my mind emptied of his opinions and arguments.'

'You want to be free to be Little Spirit?'

'Yes.' He stroked her hair from her cheek 'And I want you babe.'

'You've got me. As long as you're working towards your dream and not settling for someone else's vision then you'll have me.' She kissed his nose. 'Because that's one of the main reasons I'm attracted to you.'

'Really?'

'Yes really. D'you think for a minute I wanted to receive letters from a young man in Coventry who hated work and complained that his dad was saying negative things? No. I wanted to read that you were following your heart; shooting for the starts.'

'That's odd because my dad said—'

'A woman like me craves security and stability?'

'Yeah,' Calvin said puzzled.

'He doesn't know me. Frankly it's ludicrous. Could you see me with a man who had a regular income? London's got millions. No, it's the fire in your heart that attracts me. That's what's brought me back to this country. If you want me then want Little Spirit. If you work for Little Spirit then everything will be alright, with you, me and money, you name it.'

Katherine lay back and watched Calvin straighten ingesting her words. Of course she had no idea how Little Spirit would turn out but from what she'd witnessed over Christmas she knew that away from his dad Calvin had twice the gumption and infinitely more appeal. Calvin moving back to Coventry would rival her moving back in with her dad as exercises in joyless pointlessness went.

She watched Calvin disappear into reverie and asked, 'Are you alright?'

'Yeah.'

But she recognised the same pallid nauseous look he always got before gigs and knew emotions must be flowing. 'I'll put the kettle on,' she said excusing herself.

'Okay,' Calvin said seeming barely to hear her.

In the kitchen she considered how Calvin's attacks of nerves always preceded action. As the kettle bubbled she wondered what could happen this time.

Across the flat Calvin succumbed to the emotions Katherine's words had set free. He knew he loved her completely. The notion of returning to Coventry to appease his dad at the risk of losing her turned acidic. But causticity met an intuitive desire that he couldn't ignore. He'd fought with his dad for a twelve month window of music but now he'd have to renege on his side of the deal. Music's permanence needed to be voiced.

* * *

Raphael had driven the van from Hemel and picked Danny up from his mum's.

Nearing London Danny said, '1984. Could be our year.'

'It's already our year,' Raphael said pulling out to overtake a wagon. 'We're in a signed band and we've got an unbelievable album.'

Danny looked out of the window over the fields to where the lights of countless houses glowed. 'I wonder how many lives we'll change – how many people will come to know and be entertained by what we do?'

'Easy mate, you're sounding almost optimistic.'

Danny smiled feeling exceedingly optimistic.

Minutes later they arrived and Danny turned the key to the flat door but found it wouldn't open more than six inches. 'Hello,' he called through the gap.

After light footsteps Katherine appeared. 'Sorry Danny,' she said quietly, hoisting the bags out the way. 'Calvin's on the phone.'

'Oh, okay,' Danny said. Both he and Raphael kissed her and wishing her Happy New Year.

On the landing Calvin gave the lads one armed hugs before returning and stressing to the telephone receiver, 'You're not listening. I'm not saying twelve months aren't long enough. I'm saying your twelve months are irrelevant. In here ...' he thumped his chest, '... I'm a rock star, and that's not going to stop just because you've decided time's up.'

Katherine ushered the lads into the living room. 'Exciting isn't it?' When Danny hung back listening, Katherine said, 'Come away from the door.'

'Sorry,' he said not moving.

After a pause from the corridor they all heard Calvin shout, 'Who cares?'

Without warning the door flew open knocking Danny off balance.

Red faced Calvin slumped next to Katherine and groaned. 'Sorry guys. Just phoned my dad.'

'We gathered,' Danny said taking a seat. 'How'd it go?'

'He hung up on me.' Katherine squeezed his hand. 'I thought I was a nice guy – that's twice people have done that recently.'

'I'm sure you're dad knows you're nice,' Raphael said. But the sparkle in his eyes left him under no illusion that taking a stand against his dad had delighted him. 'So what happened?'

'I got fired up; told him, successful or not, where to stick his twelve month deal.'

Danny said, 'Why, couldn't you just have dealt with it in June if we weren't successful?'

'Out the question. I had to let him know, officially. Besides he might have given me – us, twelve months but he's not been the least bit positive about anything we've achieved so he's hardly been keeping his end of the bargain. Anyway, I can stop fearing failure now. And any future manipulation on his part can be justifiably countered, if he ever speaks to me again.'

## Tuesday 03rd January 1984

Rather than use Amy's empty bed Raphael had slept on the settee figuring he may as well get back to his discomfort sooner than later. He woke hearing the phone ring and Calvin answer it.

Katherine padded through the living room on her way to the bathroom.

'Is it his dad?' Raphael called after her.

'Oh, you're awake. No it's his mum,' she said flicking the kettle on.

When Calvin came in he smiled. Raphael asked, 'Good news?'

'My mum's worried but says Dad's okay. At least that's something.'

Raphael, grabbed his watch. 'As long you're alright. Time to get up; big day. Will you be okay?'

Two hours later the band arranged plastic seats around Richard's desk. Despite the early hour Richard poured himself a whisky.

'Thanks for coming guys. Austin will be along presently,' Richard said between slurps. 'I get jittery before an album's unveiled.' He pushed the glass away. 'But first things first. As you know I've got you a showcase slot tonight at the Borderline. It'll be tough given that everyone's partied out after Christmas so there probably won't be many general punters. The young industry reps will have hangovers and the older eccentrics don't dance. Try and get some enthusiastic souls along if you can lads.'

'We'll do all we can,' Danny said knowing Amy and friends would be absent.

'Will you pop along for support?' Richard asked Grace.

'Of course,' she said looking past her uncle to Raphael.

'Thanks love,' Richard said before spotting Austin at the door. 'Ah, the man himself.'

'Hi guys, Happy New Year,' Austin said stepping in from the cold pulling the door closed. Danny grabbed a chair for him.

'Have you got it?' Richard asked.

'Right here,' Austin said handing over a high quality cassette. 'Guys, I'm assuming you'll like it but remember it's not mastered. It still needs some polish.'

Richard took the cassette and dropped it in the tape machine. He waited for everyone to comfy themselves, pressed play and rushed to sit down and slurp more whisky before the music started. The giddy band watched as Richard's eyes closed to listen.

Even before the first chorus of _Come Around_ Richard said, 'Bloody good job everyone.'

Grace wheeled her office chair behind the lads to listen properly. After the first song Richard asked Grace, 'What d'ya think love?'

'Brilliant. Possibly the best thing GMD have recorded.' Raphael turned seeing her enthusiasm.

Richard nodded sagely. 'I agree and that's saying something considering how The USed Wonz turned out.'

By the end of the fifth song, _I Can't Wish,_ Richard pressed stop saying, 'I think we get the idea.' He sat back down with a sigh. Danny exchanged a worrisome look with Austin. Richard rubbed his eyes.

'What's wrong?' Grace asked.

'Nothing,' Richard said. 'It's fantastic. Every song so far sounds like a hit to me. I presume the second side's as good?' He looked at Austin.

'I'd say so.'

Richard said, 'It's almost too good.'

'Too good?' Calvin said. 'How can it be too good?'

'For this dammed business. We produced The USed Wonz who are climbing the USA ladder but this is the first time GMD's produced anything so right for the British Top-5.'

Openly delighted Raphael said, 'That's great.'

'It would be – but, it ain't gonna happen.'

Calvin's heart sank regretting having spoken to his dad as he had. 'What the hell are you on about – isn't Top-5 exactly what we're after?'

'It is but Richard's got a point,' Austin said pacifying everyone. 'The popularity of Top-5 singles is produced artificially. And Top-5s cost major record companies almost quarter of a million quid.'

The band looked at one another.

'Sorry,' Raphael said, 'you're losing me here. Isn't ze point of a Top-5 to make money?'

Austin looked to Richard who said, 'Ultimately yes. The thing is the UK market though smaller than America and the rest of the world is controlled by ruthlessly sophisticated corruption basically. The majors do anything to sell records in Britain because it's the key to the rest of the world.'

Austin said, 'The heavy hitters pumping enough hundreds of thousands into a UK song's marketing campaign almost guarantee worldwide success. They then make millions, avoiding UK tax as they go, for comparatively low investment.'

'So you're saying _marketing_ is manipulation?' Raphael asked.

'Not per se. You've got to let the public know about your product but Top-5 singles get marketed to the point where UK teenagers, who represent the main single buying demographic, are brainwashed into desiring and buying records.'

'Ze next plinth on ze pyramid is still marketing and distribution yes?'

'Indeed but these recordings,' Richard pointed to the tape deck behind him, 'deserve _priority_ treatment – a proper deal with a massive advance unlike the sorry deals I've struck in the past.'

'Okay Richard we need to get to ze bottom of this. You told us that advances are loans and it's better not to have them.'

'And I was dead right as far as the work you've done with Austin is concerned. Plus the deals I cobble together for my bands don't usually come with much of an advance so there's no point getting anyone's hopes up.'

'So what's with ze big advance now?'

'If a major puts money into a band they're going to want it back plus profit.'

'Makes sense,' Raphael said. Everyone looked agreeable.

'So if they put masses into a band by way of a six-figure advance they're going to work damn hard to get it back. You see when a band signs for marketing and distribution there's nothing in the contract stipulating how hard the company has to work promoting your records. The size of advance is the only gauge. These songs deserve proper representation and without the big advance you won't be on every radio and TV show as you should.'

Calvin felt glum. He thought all that would sort itself out.

'I'm sorry to seem out of sorts,' Richard said. 'But you can see I've got my work cut out for me here. And the best I can get you won't be that great.'

'I don't understand,' Danny said. 'You said the product's worthy. Won't someone bite your hand off and provide a fitting advance?'

'Afraid not. Only a very few acts receive the necessary hundreds of thousands. Every major's investment is a gamble; the majors are terrified just like I was when I sent you to Leeds with Austin's cheque.'

Raphael shuffled in his seat. 'But if ze product is worthy isn't it worth ze gamble?'

'Yes but, the product is more that the sound coming out the speakers. The majors require confidence. You look and sound brilliant but, whilst this record is big news for all of us in this room and your modest fan base, it isn't big news to the majors.'

'It should be,' Raphael said.

'Should isn't enough. The confidence they need comes from track records. You don't have one. Does Austin have a track record of Top-20 hit productions? Despite how this record sounds the answer is no. And me, I've a track record of _not_ introducing world dominating bands. Mine sell a few records and disappear into obscurity barely making anyone much money. The most useful thing I've done for the majors is put acts on their books that perpetuate the illusion that record buyers actually have a choice in what they buy.'

After a few moments Raphael asked, 'Can't we stick Hugh Padgham's name next to Austin's on a couple of tracks?'

'No we can't. Firstly we play an honest game and secondly we'd get caught out on budget and, no disrespect intended to Austin's studio, but Padgham wouldn't produce from The Production Annex.'

'Okay, let's think practically,' Danny said sitting forwards.

'Good idea, there is, as they say, always more than one way to skin a cat,' Austin said not appearing the slightest bit perturbed buy Richard's critical remarks of his studio.

Danny said, 'What if we find some money and, once a single's released, get everyone to buy bulk loads of it?'

'Wouldn't work,' Richard said. 'Worked in the sixties for Epstein's Beatles but not now.'

'Why?'

'Epstein bought ten thousand singles of _Love Me Do._ Firstly that's too many for us to buy. Secondly, Gallop would be all over us—'

'The guys who compile the charts?'

'That's right. They mainly collect data from two-hundred and fifty shops, most of which are in London, but they've four-hundred backup shops. Gallop would find unnatural buying patterns; we'd be disqualified.'

'What's illegal about buying vinyl?' Raphael asked.

'Nothing but for reasons already discussed not only will there be no priority treatment for us but I've never even managed to secure a deal with a clause stipulating promo videos. If records start flying out of targeted shops Gallop will look closely at how it's being promoted and how many are being returned.'

'Dammit,' Danny said.

'Still not done,' Richard said. 'Without priority treatment there won't even be enough copies printed and distributed to make a dent on the charts as they are. These days you need to sell quarter of a million per week to be Number-1 so even if ten thousand copies existed it still wouldn't be enough.'

Calvin's throat constricted. He almost felt sick wondering what they'd got themselves into. It certainly didn't seem worth losing a father for. Danny looked aghast. Even Austin who supposedly knew all this seemed melancholy.

'Wow,' Raphael said with a near laugh. 'It's going to be quite an adventure yes?'

Richard smiled. 'We'll see. There's no doubt I'll get a deal which will at least keep the wolves from the door. It's just a shame that despite having the best weapon to date we're merely tilting at windmills.'

* * *

Nobody felt like busking after leaving the office. Austin headed back to Kings Cross after they'd listened to the remainder of the recordings. Soon they'd have their very own mastered white label album. Rather than celebrate they headed for the tube.

The band agreed that nobody had promised them chart success. For them the next step would be to sustain themselves financially whilst Richard approached record companies. Freezing wind blew litter along backstreets abandoned by people who'd overspent at Christmas. After the January sales even the high streets would appear quiet.

They realised the next couple of months would be a struggle but they had a showcase that night and if they played well they could only guess what might happen.

## Wednesday 04th January 1984

The next day, before her first shift that year Katherine sat in the living room warming by the gas-fire and listened to the band's bitter sweet tale. The tape Austin had given them played and she couldn't believe the album would sound even better once mastered.

The previous night she'd stood alone watching Little Spirit perform to the quietest of audiences. Though they'd played well none of the scruffs present either approached Little Spirit or looked able to progress their careers anyway.

Outside a gale howled and licked through holes in the single glazing's putty. Katherine shivered at the thought of even setting foot out the living room let alone braving the journey to the pub.

Downstairs the front door rattled under the force of the wind or so Katherine thought until a draft came carrying Amy's voice.

Jumping up, Danny ran down the stairs to greet and carry her bags before she burst in to receive her welcome home.

They replayed the album and Katherine left for her shift. Amy soon left to do her poly work.

The lads wondered what to do. Given that none of them had jobs nobody suggested anything that'd involve spending money. When they busked they hoped people would put their hands in their pockets for change but given the biting storm they knew the public's hands would remain deep in their pockets. In the end they wrote a song about the weather but knew nobody would ever hear it.

Richard rang and told them Austin had sent the album for mastering. Having scrutinized each song Richard proposed also cutting _Only When it's Saturday_ as a 7-inch single.

In her room Amy had plugged the electric heater in and planned to get under the covers but they'd felt cold to the point of being damp. She procrastinated watching the heater's bar filament change from rust to brilliant orange. Eventually she got into bed with her books and all her clothes on including shoes.

## Saturday 28th January 1984

By mid-January Richard received the white labelled albums and singles. He warned the band that as soon as they got through the doors of the majors champagne would flow like a broken toilet, drugs would appear like mildew on basement walls and most dangerously praise would spew from record company mouths. He told them to enjoy it but not to believe it. 'They take a grain of truth and magnify it to the size of mountains. Don't let it go to your heads. Believe the contract – but only once it's signed. Ultimately hard cash is the only truth and usually they'll snow-blind you with coke and hide, bombarding you with fast flirty females before they let you see any real money. We need the majors but they can be evil. The happier they think they're keeping you the more money they think they can keep – money that you're earning them.'

By the end of January Little Spirit still hadn't chance to employ Richard's advice as they'd not seen inside any major record company offices. Richard gave up the expense of showcase gigs as they continued to be poorly attended especially by anyone who mattered. The band felt ridiculous; no one more so than Calvin who'd strut around stages like he would have at a packed Water Rats gig but to no one other than Katherine and a few other unmovable faces. Half way through one set Calvin's woolly sounding amp lost sound. He had to finish the set with his bass routed through the PA system. Richard reprimanded him, 'Don't let that happen again. You were lucky there were so few to witness that.'

But when Calvin dismantled his amp he couldn't see any reason for its failing. Two gigs later the sound dropped out again. Fortunately Richard missed that. Again Calvin couldn't detect any stray wires or oxidised solder.

* * *

Given how deserted the parks of London had become the band limited their busking to streets only managing to cobble a few coins for their survival. Raphael's parents donated bags of groceries which helped.

Given the lack of audience feedback the band would have struggled to put on good shows but they maintained a seemingly ironic optimism that despite their apparent backslide in popularity, success lay around the corner – or another upcoming one. At least things could only get better.

Richard had focussed his attention on the labels with most consistent histories of hit production. EMI and Phonogram amongst others had seen Little Spirit in action at showcase gigs and some promised to see them in the future. Those that had seen them stated they couldn't agree to go ahead until they saw evidence of Little Spirit transforming capacity audiences. Some tentative offers came Richard's way but he refused them knowing they'd progress no further than other bands he'd signed. Worryingly the general ripples of interest throughout the business flattened with the notion that Little Spirit's solid rock sound offered nothing new for record buyers. Richard put that to the back of his mind still trusting Austin's production and the lad's song writing.

* * *

On the last Saturday in January the lads had the year's first Water Rats gig. The students had returned and workers had their first wages since Christmas. Having wanted to patch up one relationship at least Calvin visited Proper Printing and met first with his replacement before Ian offered an apology. Wishing the band the best of luck Ian promised to maintain their poster and T-shirt arrangement. With that Calvin heavily advertised The Water Rats gig.

Despite the blustery cold the band greeted people at the venue's door and did their best encouraging people off the street.

Amy had missed Little Spirit's first showcase gig where Katherine had met Richard and his niece Grace. Though Katherine tried she hadn't penetrated Grace's shyness. By contrast Amy, who'd largely kept her head down working hard at poly, had come to subsequent showcases and found Grace warming to her with ease and even agreed to meet them with John in a nearby pub before that night's show where they sat catching up with John's latest deals before heading to the gig.

After soundchecking Richard joined the band. 'I've some concern here lads,' he said dropping small-name magazines on their table. 'You're interview responses are awful.'

Calvin picked up the first local paper and found their interview which had followed another nondescript showcase gig. 'What's wrong?' he asked reading.

'That,' Richard said pointing. 'You sound like a bunch of goody-good born again Christians.' Richard looked at Raphael and said mockingly, ' _I never drink. I'm teetotal.'_ He looked at Calvin, ' _I'm not looking for love, my girlfriend's perfect._ ' And to Danny, ' _We just wanna make people happy.'_

'Well it's the truth,' Calvin said.

'Nobody cares about the truth. If I was a girl Grace's age and interested in you I wouldn't want to read that you're happy in a relationship. I'd want to know that you're what I want you to be – available and willing.'

'So I'm supposed to lie about Katherine?'

'Just be ambiguous. Never answer questions about your personal life directly especially if they make you sound so un-Rock 'n' Roll.'

'Well it's not like we live like monks,' Raphael said thinking of his own conquests.

'Brilliant,' Richard said. _'We don't live like monks_. That's a great answer. From that readers can make up their own minds as to how outrageous or not you exist. Remember that one.' He turned to Danny. 'Don't use the word "just". You saying, _we "just" want to make people happy,_ sounds like that's all you've got to give. Say something like _we'll blow your minds_ or _we excite fans in a way they'll remember forever._ Then get on the stage and give them something worth remembering.'

'What about Raphael not drinking?' Calvin asked.

'Turn the boring fact into a positive. Say something like, _when we're on stage we like to be razor sharp – fully focused.'_

'Just like we do,' Danny said.

'Right,' Richard said. 'Most of Rock 'n' Roll is exaggerated nonsense that plays on individuals' perceptions. You can create illusions of being bad boys, living outrageously without doing a thing. And on that note whilst I don't care what you do after a show I want you to follow Raphael's practice of not drinking beforehand.'

Richard, working early mornings, excused himself for the night.

Before Little Spirit played John came through the doors looking smug with his entourage of ladies. Pulling his wallet from his jacket he offered to get a round of drinks.

Amy and Grace chatted exclusively. After returning with the girls' drinks Katherine watched John head to the bar for his beer where a curious bearded man with dark glasses and trilby sparked a conversation with him. Minutes passed before John shook the man's hand and walked back with his beer.

'Who was that?' Katherine asked.

'Says he represents EMG Records.'

'Who?'

'I know. I told him I'd heard of EMI and that Little Spirit are signed to GMD but I've not heard of EMG. He says they're just starting out and he's interested in another band.'

'Oh, which one?'

'He didn't say; just asked me odd questions about Little Spirit.'

'Yeah, like what?'

John sipped his pint. 'His first question was how I knew them, but he was most interested to know why I'd financed them. Then he asked me questions about their potential?'

'Strange approach.'

'Especially as he's here for another band. He seems too nervous to invest in a band anyway. And when I handed him my business card he took it but shrugged saying he hadn't got his own printed yet.'

Katherine watched the man through narrowed eyes. He propped the bar up but had turned away from them with his hat pulled low.

She forgot the bearded man when the band came in from the cold. Little Spirit looked around the busy room grateful to once again have people to play to before going back stage to warm up.

Having droned on the first two bands would've damaged audience numbers had Little Spirit taken the headline spot any later.

After a month trying to impress empty rooms Little Spirit ramped themselves full force for the bursting room.

Near the back wall Amy felt Danny seemed to eyeball the whole room.

'Good evening Water Rats,' Danny called out as the intro music began its final ascension. 'Everyone ready for a change in the weather?' The room roared positively. 'Right then, here's _Life in the Sunshine.'_

Forgetting the weather and boredom with the previous bands the crowd started jumping. Amy watched bobbing heads and multitudinous arms reaching towards her friends on stage.

After _Life in the Sunshine_ Calvin thanked the audience. 'Did everyone have a good Christmas?' Amy and the crowd shouted yes. 'Good to be back at work, school or college?' The crowd told him no, though Amy had been enjoying her study for the first time in three years.

'You don't need to tell us it's a drag,' Calvin said. 'We know how important it is to put bread on the table and how hard that can be at times.' The crowd sympathised. 'This song's a break from reality with a moment of gratitude for those you love and who love you. It's called _I Can't Wish._ '

To Amy's right Stosh mixed the sound. Calvin's voice soared beautifully above his bass and through the drums and guitar. Amy found herself intent on his lyrics as conjured images of a perfectly fantastic world returned to the chorus saying he couldn't wish for more than his beloved in his arms. She caught Stosh's eyes and mouthed, _Brilliant sound._

On stage Calvin meant every word until he had no more to sing. Raphael steered him through the complex rhythm changes leading to the song's coda.

Though his amp hadn't blacked in several gigs Calvin couldn't miss the sudden drop in volume or the stench of electrical smoke that followed. Croaking the amp made its way to the end of the song.

Within seconds Danny had stood his Telecaster up and dashed over to pull the amp's plug from the mains. Calvin tugged every other lead seeing licks of flames. A sharp blow though the amp's vents extinguishing them.

Turning back to the still cheering audience he said, 'Is everyone feeling loved?' Pointing to his amp he said, 'Looks like I'm all outta love as far as this ol' thing's concerned.'

Without losing a beat momentum Raphael and Danny cracked into _Only When it's Saturday._ As the song lacked bass at the start Stosh, appearing out of nowhere, wired Calvin's guitar through the support band's amp.

At the back of the room Katherine cried to Amy pointing at Calvin's crippled amp. 'For God's sake this is all he needs.' Dead end ideas raced through her mind. She glanced at John but couldn't bring herself to ask for a loan after everything she'd been through with him. She looked at Grace. 'You're Uncle Richard's gonna be furious.'

'I won't tell him,' she said wide-eyed.

The band carried on regardless and soon Amy and Grace had lost themselves in the sound of the band and the support act's borrowed amp.

Several songs later Calvin took the mic again. 'It's great to go nuts but Little Spirit recognise everyone has their vulnerable side and with that it's with great sensitivity that we bring you our last song, _Magic Words.'_

As Raphael's extraordinary drum rhythm pulsed a respectful hush befell the room. Calvin stepped to the mic and with falsetto height sang, _'I have heard that little voice in your head, it's saying please help me.'_

As always Katherine felt as she had done on John's yacht the previous summer. Looking around the venue she knew plenty of listeners would also be lost in emotion. Though she couldn't see the eyes beneath the trilby she could tell the bearded man to her left had been affected too.

After Danny's impassioned guitar solo Calvin took the mic for the final verse. Over denser chords he broke through falsetto into full voice fuelling everyone with strength and optimism singing, _'I can feel your beating heart burning red, I know of your desires.'_ Calvin sang another chorus then said, 'All the ladies in the house sing, _You happy.'_ The girls sang along with every other female led by Calvin's high voice. He addressed the men inviting them to join in with lower register. The room sang the simple harmony in a powerful prayer with Danny and Raphael. 'Beautiful,' Calvin said. 'Anyone not singing join in, _In this wilderness, I want to make a difference, want to tell you magic words and make you happy.'_

When the band wrapped up they went back stage leaving a crowd of cheering voices intent on blowing The Water Rats' roof off.

Raphael said, 'Best gig of 1984 yes?'

'Best so far,' Danny agreed. When the noise kept going he said, 'We'll have to give them more.'

The band took the stage and played two more songs but still left the audience wanting. The stage lights went down and the house lights went up as the bell called time at the bar.

Raphael knew Grace would have to leave right away. Not wanting to miss saying goodbye he stayed on stage where he'd see her. Packing his cymbals he almost missed someone sticking their nose into the back of Calvin's deceased amp.

'Excuse me,' Raphael said. 'What d'you think you're doing?'

## Sunday 29th January 1984

The gig's adrenalin meant Calvin didn't consider his amp situation properly until the next morning. The previous night's brief inspection suggested mortal wounding. He'd considered leaving the flaking chipboard box with its frazzled electronics on stage for The Water Rats' staff to dispose of. Instead Raphael had lumped the flabby speakered carcass onto the van before slamming the doors and driving everyone back to the flat.

By Sunday lunchtime the friends had gathered in the living room and provided Calvin only two options. He could ask John for a loan he had no means of repaying. Calvin and Katherine rejected that idea. Given John had seen the amp snuff it he'd have offered his help there and then if he'd wanted. The only other option, came from Amy who reckoned she could get a loan from her parents.

'Ze thing is this is a real opportunity.'

Calvin snapped at Raphael's sometimes uncanny ability to see the positive. 'I know the amp was crap and I know anything else will be better but I'm not about to slope off to Amy's parents for a penny more than the cost of some other inadequate piece of junk.'

Raphael got up and put his shoes on. He put a firm, reassuring hand on Calvin's shoulder. 'Don't phone anyone yet. I'll pop back to my mum's for dinner and even though it's Sunday I'll ring Derek at home and see what ze music shop's got to offer. I'll be back later. I'm certain I'll think of something for you.'

Calvin looked up into the younger man's eyes and felt like a boy being told by a caring parent that the bullies would be dealt with. 'Thanks mate. I'm sorry I got a bit short with you. I just feel that since the bust up with my dad everything's going wrong.'

'Maybe, but Christmas is behind us; people have money again. Ze days should be less cold so we'll have more luck busking. Richard will find us something. Things are looking up I feel it. We were brilliant last night. We've turned a corner I'm sure.'

'Thanks man. I hope you're right.' Calvin saw him to the door.

Back in the living room he asked everyone, 'What d'you make of that?'

'Raphael's positivity?' Danny said. 'Guess we'll have a better idea when he gets back.'

'Honestly, I suppose I'd prefer not to ask my folks,' Amy said.

'I'd prefer not to ask anyone.'

'We'll have to do something,' Danny said. 'Aside from positive thinking Raphael isn't well known for solutions to problems.'

* * *

At 5pm Katherine answered a knock on the door. 'Hi Raphael, you're back early.'

'Couldn't stay away. Are ze boys in?'

'They're running a few laps of the park,' she said leading the way upstairs.

'Loonies,' Raphael said eying her buttocks.

'Amy's studying. I'll keep you company.'

'Thank you.'

When Katherine brought in a mug of tea she asked, 'So, how did you get on this afternoon, any inspired thoughts?'

'Of course,' Raphael said setting the mug on the floor so he could pull a piece of paper from his coat pocket. 'I don't know why you people doubt me.'

Katherine smiled. 'What you got there?'

'I have been to my old music shop this afternoon. Derek opened it especially for me. This is a list of all ze new and used contenders for Calvin.'

'Okay,' Katherine said taking the paper reading brand names, alpha-numeric model numbers and large numbers preceded by pound signs. 'And how's he supposed to get his hands on one?'

'Can't tell you that,' Raphael said with a cheeky grin.

'So you do have an idea?' Katherine said surprised.

At that moment the lounge door opened chased by a glaciating current of air. 'Sounds like ze boys are back.'

First through the door Danny said, 'Hi mate, saw the van outside.'

'Oui.'

'Back early,' Calvin said cold sweat glistening on colder skin.

Katherine handed him the list of amps.

'Which one do you fancy?' Raphael said.

'He's been to his music shop,' Katherine said.

'Bloody hell mate, that was good of you.' He read. 'Carlsbro, Peavy, HH.'

'Yeah,' Raphael said. 'What's your favourite?'

Calvin gave an exasperated look, 'I don't know. Trace Elliot I suppose.'

'Thought so,' Raphael said sitting back. 'That's what we'll work towards; although its green lights will clash with our colours.'

'Shouldn't matter given it's the wrong side of a bank robbery – though I see you've scribbled the price out,' Calvin said his teeth chattering. 'Danny I'm freezing d'you mind if grab first shower?'

'Make it quick mate. I'm cold too.'

After his shower Calvin went to his room to change. From the bathroom Danny could be heard singing, no doubt into the showerhead.

Katherine looked at Raphael who said, 'Alone again.'

Before she could answer a knock from the front door echoed upstairs.

'I'll get it,' Raphael said jumping to his feet. In his haste his mug went over. 'Aw, damn. Sorry Katherine.'

'It's okay,' Katherine said rising and heading out. 'I'll get the door, if you mop the spill.'

On the landing she ignored Raphael's protestations. At the bottom of the stairs she twisted the Yale lock and opened the door to—

'You?' She came face to face with the bearded man from The Water Rats and finally recognised him as none other than Calvin's dad. 'What brings you here?'

Calvin's dad, already a step back from the door, retreated further. Katherine turned as Raphael bumped down the stairs joining her.

To her bewilderment Raphael shook his hand. 'Good to see you again.'

'You too,' Calvin's dad said. 'Is he in?'

'Upstairs.' Raphael addressed Katherine. 'We met up at ze music shop. You mind getting Calvin?'

Bemused she climbed half the steps and called, 'Calvin, can you come to the door darling?'

'Hang on,' he replied, 'just putting my bollocks away.'

Katherine faced Calvin's dad. 'Sorry about that. He'll be down in a sec.'

'Hmm.'

'What's with the beard?'

'Part of the disguise. If I was to see my son's band I didn't want the performance compromised by my presence.'

'So, what did you think of them?'

Calvin's dad stood in the cold and nodded. Katherine perhaps detected his chin quiver. Leaving the warmth she stood beside him and touched his shoulder with hers. 'They're great aren't they?'

He nodded. 'I should have guessed as much.'

'Dad?' Calvin said.

'Go and see what's in ze car,' Raphael said pushing him into the street.

Upstairs Danny dried in the bathroom's steamy warmth. Tying the towel round his middle he passed through the kitchen and living room where he flung his arms round himself as cold air engulfed him. On the landing he guessed the front door must be open. Running downstairs he looked into the street to discover four faces staring into the boot of Calvin's dad's car. 'What's going on?'

'Come and see for yourself,' Raphael said.

Curiosity won the battle over cold and Danny tiptoed barefoot over to the space made for him between Raphael and Calvin's dad. Peering into a boot full of black and green he said, 'My god.' He looked first to Calvin who nodded to his dad. Overcome with amazement Danny faced the man he'd thought his adversary and clutching his shoulders. 'Thank you. I mean ... Trace Elliot ... you have no idea.' He continued shaking oblivious to the rapidly loosening towel knot.'

'I got it,' Raphael said pressing a palm to Danny's abdomen.

'Oh, sorry,' Danny said retightening the towel. 'Did you really buy him this?'

'His brother Justin convinced me I should put up half the money.' He looked at Calvin. 'You can thank him for the other half.'

'I will, I will,' Calvin said his teeth chattering again.

'I'm freezing,' Katherine said. 'Danny you'll catch your death.'

'We should get inside,' Raphael said. 'I'll help with ze amp.'

Katherine turned for the door. 'Great,' she said sarcastically, 'it's blown shut. Who's got the key?'

'Don't look at me,' Danny said before running into the door and banging on it. He shouted through the letterbox, 'Amy.'

He nearly fell through when Amy opened it.

Bleary eyed she said, 'I fell asleep. What's going on?'

Raphael went inside and Calvin heaved the amp out from his dad's car.

'I saw what you did last night son.'

Stopping dead Calvin rested the amp on the pavement. 'The Water Rats?'

'Yeah, at the back. Justin's been helping me grow up. You're a magnificent musician son.'

'Thank you.'

'I was so proud of you. What I witnessed, the words, the messages. You spoke so positively to those people. I hate to say it but you did it more effectively that Justin's sermons.' He laughed. 'And the whole room sang along with such passion; and without hymn books.'

'You can't imagine how good it feels to be up there in front of a crowd like that.'

'Too good to have someone like me bringing you down. Can you forgive me?'

'Can't forgive what's already forgiven,' Calvin said. Leaning over the big green and black amp he hugged his dad. 'Buying the Trace really helped though.'

'Thought it might. Can we get the heck inside now?'

With the help of his dad, Calvin put the amp in his room. 'I'll try it shortly,' he said. 'Let's get warmed up I'm dying to understand this story.'

In the living room Katherine explained how John had talked to the bearded stranger.

Raphael told of how the same man examined the burned out amp. 'I didn't know who it was,' he said. 'We soon started talking about a replacement amp and arranged to meet at the shop today.'

Calvin's dad said, 'That was quite something getting the owner over on Sunday.'

'It was worth his while. It's still a substantial purchase despite it being a good deal.'

'How much?' Calvin asked.

'I'll never tell you that son.'

'That much?'

'It's a gift to all of you. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time Danny. All three of you were fantastic. I'm sorry I doubted any of you. Just being in this room I see you five are a wonderful team. Anyway I'll leave to you to it. I've a beard to shave.'

## Tuesday 07th February 1984

January made way for February. Amy stared at her room's electric fire as her eyes dried. Pulling the plug she wondered how long she'd put off studying notes from a particularly stodgy text. The room seemed to close in on her. A look at her watch told her Katherine would still be at work.

Needing escape she found Danny alone in the living room practicing guitar scales. He said Calvin had gone to his room to read and Raphael had headed back to Hemel. She sat at the far side of the settee.

Danny got up and made her a cup of tea. He felt pleased with himself having made her laugh. Re-joining her on the settee he saw her glumness had passed. He looked at her. She looked back.

'I know just what you need,' he said dismissing the notion of moving in for a kiss.

'I bet you do.' She didn't look back.

'How about we go for a run? We could meet Katherine from work.'

Amy looked thoughtful. 'Yeah alright.'

'Great, see you in a minute.' Danny jumped to his feet but went to Calvin's room.

'Ready?' Danny asked Amy when she appeared on the landing in tracksuit with hat, scarf and gloves. 'You look lovely.'

Amy shook her head. 'Is Calvin coming?'

'Not this time,' Danny said though he hadn't so much invited Calvin as told him he intended to go running with Amy alone.

They performed a few warm ups before leaving the flat's modestly protective warmth.

Amy had responded well to regular exercise and suspected she might outpace Danny. On the street she tried subtly pulling away on an incline, but he kept up. She tried again on the flat and down a hill but she couldn't shake him off.

Finally she suggested a sprint finish when The Dog and Parrot came into view. Danny agreed but when she said, go, he vanished peeling yards from her every second. Amy forced herself faster but saw through wind beaten teary eyes, Danny reach the pub's door jumping triumphantly on the spot punching the air like Rocky.

When she reached him he offered a consolatory hug.

'No, thank you,' she said shrugging him off. 'You could've at least made it look hard.'

Danny having listened to Raphael's tuition knew better than to apologise. 'I'm not that good an actor I'm afraid.'

Amy tutted and walked into the pub without further comment. He resisted the urge to make it up to her.

Inside Katherine had already started buttoning her coat.

On the walk back Danny couldn't be sure whether he'd kept quiet or been shut out the conversation by the girls.

Amy had had a shock. On the way back out the pub she'd reached the door as two lads entered. They eyed Katherine. But, Amy had spotted them. Pulling her hat further down anger and embarrassment washed through her, recognising them as the two who'd humiliated month's earlier in the Hippodrome.

To help she yacked incessantly to Katherine all the way back to the flat.

## Wednesday 29th February 1984

'Come in guys,' Richard sighed.

The band gathered chairs round his desk. They may have thought they'd turned a corner at the end of January but by February's end they'd not moved upwards; like the ladder had been greased.

'I want to thank you,' Richard began. 'Thank you for staying with the cause. I can't imagine how you're paying the rent right now.'

Raphael shifted uncomfortably at the thought of all the nights he'd folded himself on the settee. He'd joined in the rent contributions but his parents had funded that. Unbeknownst to him Calvin also felt uncomfortable as Katherine had stumped his share of the rent and unbeknownst to him Danny kept schtum because Amy had helped him with his February payment.

Richard continued. 'Finally after the bad news I've got good. I've been angling for the best possible album deal and have got almost nowhere. But I've had a different stroke of luck. I've not told you what I've been up to the last month for reasons I won't go into but there's a few things bubbling to the surface.'

Richard pulled three albums from his desk drawer and passed them to the lads.

'The USed Wonz,' they said looking the jackets over.

'I gave you a couple of singles but I've just picked these up from Vanquar,' Richard said tapping Vanquar's logo next to GMD's on record cover he'd just given Calvin. 'The USed Wonz signed to the UK division. They loved them but trusted America would suit them better. As it goes the US took them on but ironically it's the UK division that's been keeping tabs on them.'

'But Linda Lake's been a fantastic agent,' Grace said from her desk.

'Thanks love, anyway an English lady called Trudie's been stateside for months overseeing things but she's back here now.'

'Okay,' Calvin said wondering what this had to do with Little Spirit.

'This is where things get interesting. If you recall, I said I'd never secured a deal that included videos but,' Richard leaned back failing to stifle a smile, 'Trudie thinks the time has come for a USed Wonz video. America's not thought of that because they've not yet cottoned on to the importance of video and they're hopeless at them anyway.'

'Are they?' Raphael asked.

'Compared to the Brits, yes. London's Limehouse produce vastly better videos for a mere twenty-five grand.'

'You're being sarcastic,' Calvin said.

'I'm not. American's pay quadruple for rubbish.'

'Not Wacko's Thriller,' Raphael said.

'So anyway,' Richard continued, ignoring him, 'Vanquar are flying The USed Wonz over here for the shoot.'

'Sounds great news for you Rich,' Danny said.

'And for you guys. Because The USed Wonz kick ass, GMD's status has gone up ten points. Now Trudie's back, Vanquar-UK are interested to know who else we've signed. They're interested in you guys especially because you've come out the same studio with the same producer.'

'Great news for Austin too,' Danny said.

'Exactly what he needs,' Richard said. 'But cutting to the chase, Vanquar saw you at The Water Rats the other week. I should have stayed there dammit but they've got _Only When It's Saturday._ Of course they've bullshited about how much they love it but they've agreed a deal to release it.'

'Alright,' Calvin said. 'That is great news.'

'In itself yes, but that's not the half of it. All I said weeks ago about _priority_ acts still stands, but something unprecedented has happened.' Richard turned his face to the ceiling and opened his arms enjoying the hallelujah moment. 'Guys, your single will receive a huge helping hand because the deal is whilst The USed Wonz are here you'll piggyback their shoot and get a video too.'

After some initial excitement Danny asked, 'So, won't The USed Wonz be miffed that we're crashing their set?'

'They've already agreed to it,' Richard said. 'They had to, this saves Vanquar thousands. If The USed Wonz whined they'd likely get no video. And, you're not crashing their set – you get the first two days, they get the second.'

'So, won't both bands end up with the same video?' Calvin asked.

'Not really. You're different bands with different songs. The set will get shifted about and the lighting will get restructured. Thing is, you're both incredible performing bands. Once the videos leave the editing suit your personalities will shine.'

'And when's this taking place?' Danny asked.

'The USed Wonz land next Thursday. They'll see you at The Borderline so you better be good. Then Vanquar are taking us all out for dinner.' Richard looked at Calvin and said, 'Bring what's her name?'

'Katherine.'

'Yeah and the other one.' Richard looked at Danny.

'Amy.'

'Right, a bit of glamour will help business,' Richard said. Grace glared. 'With your help too of course love.'

Raphael looked over and smiled.

'Sounds great,' everyone agreed.

'After your Friday shoot you'll support The USed Wonz at The Marquee.'

'Sounds great,' everyone said.

'Good. Now then I need you round at Vanquar tomorrow morning to meet Trudie.'

## Thursday 8th March 1984

Richard introduced the band to Trudie, an A&R person virtually singlehandedly flying the flag for The USed Wonz, at Vanquar. When it came to signing the deal for _Only When it's Saturday_ Richard changed his tune yet again by rejecting Vanquar's offer of an advance. He later explained to the band that, apart from the video, the tiny offer Trudie had negotiated wouldn't guarantee any further marketing and by refusing the advance he'd psychologically put Vanquar into the position of owing GMD.

Danny and Calvin spent the next week running and exercising their hardest to look good on video. Amy and Katherine joined in too and even Raphael put his skinny self through a few workouts.

On Thursday the band van with Calvin at the wheel stop-started its way through Oxford Street's rush hour traffic to The Borderline and their meet with The USed Wonz.

They set up their gear and after soundchecking headed backstage.

Getting settled in the dressing room Raphael asked, 'Is it just me or does anyone else feel apprehensive about tonight?'

'Yeah, I feel like we're going to war with The USed Wonz.' Danny said. 'And even though two of them are girls Richard says Johnny's hard as nails and thinks with his fists.'

'Mate,' Calvin said screwing his face, 'there might be some uncomfortable rivalry but The USed Wonz aren't flying nine hours to batter us.'

Raphael said, 'Grace told me Johnny's actually very charming and only fought when he lived on ze streets. Still, I did wonder if our girls are trying to out-beautify theirs.'

'Maybe,' Calvin said. 'Katherine hadn't even chosen the right underwear before we left.'

An hour later Little Spirit still chatted backstage when—

'Now then, now then,' a man's voice preceding a handsome face said.'

'Johnny?' Raphael said smiling uncontrollably.

'Who else?' the similarly aged but street and world-wise looking man said. 'Great to meet you guys at last.'

Three more USed Wonz crowded behind him and made quieter introductions. Johnny, seeming not to want handshakes bear-hugged each member of Little Spirit.

Raphael looked past The USed Wonz as Grace joined the group. Having never seen her in a dress he would have stared but another woman appeared alongside Richard as he called attention to the room.

'Right,' he said. 'Introductions hardly seem necessary with Johnny leading the way. Nevertheless, USed Wonz this is Little Spirit, Danny, Calvin and Raphael.' He pointed at them then checked, 'Did I get your names right?'

Raphael smiled more at Richard's infrequent attempt at humour. 'That's us.'

'Good. Little Spirit these are The USed Wonz, Johnny, Christine, Mazz and Stu. And, this lady,' Richard indicated to the woman at his side, 'is Linda Lake who we're very pleased to welcome to London, she's The USed Wonz' tour agent.'

Raphael hardly noticed the dowdy USed girls, Christine and Mazz. But Linda, though only a little younger than his mother, looked the epitome of _the all American girl_. Raphael found himself curiously attracted to her bleach-blonde hair, treacle toffee brown eyes and burgundy get up which included fitted dress, finger nails and toe nails visible through peep-toe heels. He remembered she'd just flown in from the Southern States and thought she must be cold here in London.

Calvin's cheek muscles burned and he guessed his reflexive smile must look as daft as Danny and Raphael's facial cramp. By contrast The USed Wonz appeared demur and like they'd handle whatever life threw at them.

Giving up forcing his face to relax Calvin said, 'I'd better go, the girls won't have such luck getting backstage.'

He left and found Katherine and Amy by the bar starting their first glass of dry white and stopped ten feet short to admire them. 'You two look incredible.'

He looked his girlfriend over first. Her hair curved in gentle waves collecting around her shoulders. Her body curved similarly, wrapped in strapless green satin that stopped at the knee where black stocking clad calves emerged tapering to ludicrously high black suede heels.

Amy looked similarly arresting in a pink dress she'd bought in the January sales.

'Danny will have a heart attack when he sees you,' Calvin said.

'Well thank you for the compliment Calvin,' she said laughing and slapping him playfully on the chest.

He nuzzled into Katherine's neck and whispered how he couldn't wait to get her home despite partially wishing he hadn't insisted they dress up to quite the extent they had. 'The USed Wonz are here. Wait till you see the girls.'

'Are they gorgeous?' Amy asked excitedly. 'I bet they are?'

He thought for a moment. 'Yeah, I guess. But not in the way you're thinking.'

* * *

Calvin left to prepare but, nearing show time reappeared stage-dressed with Little Spirit and The USed Wonz.

Amy recognised Johnny who led the way looking cowboy-ish.

'I see what Calvin meant,' she said regarding the USed girls in old jeans, sweatshirts, no makeup and flat shoes. 'Are they gorgeous?'

'I thought we were supposed to be going for a swanky meal after the show,' Katherine said. 'These look like they'd get turned away from McDonalds.'

'There's Grace. Phew, at least she's made an effort. And who's the bottle-blonde? Looks like she's come straight from the office.'

'Can't be Trudie; apparently she's got dark-hair.'

Calvin pushed to the front of the group. 'Everyone this is my girlfriend Katherine and our flatmate Amy.'

'Well look at you two,' Johnny said leaning back and opening his arms as if admiring the view. He stepped forwards and hugged both girls at once. Amy turned her face so as not to smudge her makeup thinking Johnny's greeting would have been the same if she and Katherine had turned up in the nearest comfy clothes they could find as his girls had.

Johnny released them and faced the party. 'These are The USed Wonz and this blonde ball-crusher is our agent Linda.'

'That answers that question,' Amy whispered to Katherine.

Both girls stayed with the group but felt somewhat excluded. Grace helped bond everyone and stuck more closely to Amy. Richard stood at the back looking awkward until Trudie arrived. Amy watched her pass heading straight for Richard who still looked awkward but delighted to see her despite the two men she'd brought along. From the introductions Amy learned Trudie had dragged the men from the Vanquar offices.

* * *

During Little Spirit's show Amy recalled Calvin telling her and Katherine that The USed Wonz seemed cool and unexcitable. It made her smile seeing The USed girls climb on Johnny and Stu's backs cheering them on whilst she and Katherine stood out the way like two untouchable ice maidens; or perhaps undesirable ones Amy didn't know which until after playing their encore Little Spirit re-joined the group and re-involved them.

Katherine watched The USed Wonz thinking they seemed unlikely to express emotion or compliment unless deserved so guessed their praise of Little Spirit had been as genuine. The Vanquar guys who Trudie had dragged along had definitely brightened too.

'Okay everyone,' Trudie announced after the band had secured their gear. 'I hope everyone's hungry The Ivy are expecting us so let's go eat. And Little Spirit go easy on the booze you're in makeup first thing tomorrow.'

They arrived at The Ivy but at that hour most of their customers including any celebrities had left. Furniture had been pushed together to form a banqueting table. Raphael tried to arrange himself such that he could sit near Linda the blonde agent but found Johnny barring his way. Thinking better of it he looked where else he'd like to sit but thought he caught a surly look from Grace. He made a mental note to be nice to her later.

He plonked himself next to Danny. 'I'm curious about that Linda woman. Not sure if Johnny's not into her though.'

'Yeah? I'm curious about that Amy woman. I'm pretty sure I'm into her,' Danny said as quietly as Raphael had spoken. A moment later he added, 'You don't fancy Linda do you?'

'No, but I'd be interested to chat with her. I mean, why have they brought their agent instead of their tour manager?'

* * *

An unsatisfactory answer came after they'd eaten. Raphael stood in the bar with Richard and Trudie and learned that in the States, GMD had handed over the management reigns to Vanquar. But, Trudie told him, Linda worked so hard as The USed Wonz' agent that she ended up tightening management's slack. 'She's got more interest in that band than anyone out there.'

'Right,' Raphael said. 'But what's ze reason?'

Trudie shook her head and looked over to where Linda stood with The USed girls and Stu. 'Don't really know. I mean The USed Wonz will look good on her CV; might lead her to other things. Linda's been a good friend; I should take more of an interest.'

'Well thank you for taking an interest in us,' Danny said having joined them.

'Oh I'm interested in you guys alright; that's why I brought the other two from the office. The more people talking about Little Spirit around Vanquar the better. Now, I'm seriously thinking of sending you off to bed. You've a long day ahead.'

## Friday 9th March 1984

Following the best sleep they could manage the band and the girls rose before first light. Calvin and Raphael waited by the van. Amy's faffing threatened to make the band late.

'I just have to brush my teeth,' she said coming out of her room and dashing past Danny and Katherine who waited on the landing for her.

Danny watched her disappear towards the bathroom in denim miniskirt, tight fitting Little Spirit T-shirt and black and white heels. 'Oh God,' he groaned.

'It's alright we've got time,' Katherine said checking her watch.

'It's not that.'

'Oh,' Katherine said. 'She looks better every day doesn't she?'

'You know in all the time I've known Amy I couldn't ever have complimented her on hair style. But even that's grown through now. She's lovely from head to toe.'

'Tell me if I'm interfering,' Katherine said, 'but let me show you something that might help.'

She touched his bedroom door. He noticed her alternately painted blue and black fingernails before she pushed it open.

'There.'

'What?' Danny said looking into his room. 'It's a mess. So?'

'That's beyond mess. Where's the floor, your cupboards must be empty?'

Defensively he said, 'Yeah but Amy's room ...' His voice stopped short as an instinctive penny rolled around his mind and dropped squarely into place. 'My god. You're right. She never comes to my room. But, she spends ages in yours – which is tidy.'

'It's just a thought, sorry,' Katherine said with concern.

'No need to be sorry.'

'Everybody ready?' Amy said appearing with her denim jacket grinning a toothy smile.

* * *

Raphael drove the van and within the hour they arrived at a Greenwich address which appeared to be little more than a disused wharf side warehouse.

'What do we do now?' Raphael asked pulling up in front of shutter doors.

'I'll knock,' Calvin said jumping out the van.

He headed for a metal door next to the shutters.

Raphael watched from the wheel as a doorman sized man appeared and questioned Calvin. A moment later they both vanished inside.

'He's gone. That's probably the last we'll see of him,' Raphael said, 'Anyone know any other decent bass players?'

'Don't joke,' Danny said.

Seconds later the shutter door rose and Calvin appeared to wave the van inside.

'He's there,' Raphael said pulling the van into a huge open building. 'I was imagining how much comfier his bed would be than ze settee.'

'Well best you stop,' Katherine said.

Raphael zipped it and parked with several film production vans. He killed the engine but a guy in a headset mic appeared at his driver's window. Raphael slid it open. Before he could say anything the guy told him to follow. Starting the engine again Raphael pulled up next to a stage where, as instructed the band unloaded their equipment including both backdrops and set up on stage as if for a gig.

Trudie appeared from somewhere wearing the same green trouser suit she'd had on the previous night.

'Hi guys, thanks for being early. Follow me.' The band and girls stepped briskly behind her as she strode towards redundant offices reclaimed for video production use. 'That door's "makeup" we'll get you there shortly but relax and warm up in "catering" first.' She pointed to a glass fronted room.

The five friends sat with coffees and chatted excitedly.

With half cups still to drink a man with a headset approached their table. 'Morning Little Spirit. Pleased to meet you.'

'Hi,' Calvin said pulling a chair for him. He seemed familiar but Calvin couldn't think from where.

'Thanks,' he said sitting down. 'I'm Des and I'm in charge round here.'

'Hi,' Calvin said tapping a finger on his chin. He couldn't recall having met anyone called Des.

'Now then, you're here to shoot a promo video and that's about all you know which is somewhat unusual. Normally bands get involved in the ideas meetings. The reason that's not happened is because Vanquar want the fastest, cheapest video with the minimum of fuss.'

Calvin felt crestfallen. When he looked up Des looked at him and went on.

'The thing is I'm confident that we'll get a video as good as any imaginable for a number of reasons I'll come to. Any questions so far?'

When nobody asked, Des continued. 'Your video only has three principle settings: a stage, a dance floor and a, err, beach. You'll perform on the stage to an audience who have been instructed to wear only black white and blue.

'We heard that much,' Danny said looking at Amy and Katherine's outfits.

'Good,' Des said. 'Once we're confident we've got enough shots of you guys on stage we'll rearrange the lights into a dance floor where you guys will mingle with the same audience but, as you're all singing about a girl, we've arranged a model for you each to, err, pull.'

'You okay with that?' Calvin asked Katherine.

'I suppose so.'

'It's okay, you won't be kissing anyone. Dancing and smiling at each other will suffice,' Des said.

'So for the stuff with us on stage,' Calvin asked, 'wouldn't it have helped to see us live?'

'Ah well that's partly why I'm confident we'll do well. I've been busy recently but I'm a friend of Stosh and when he tells me I should check out a band it's not long before I do. I saw you at The King's Head once and Water Rats more recently. I know we haven't met but you guys tried collaring my girlfriend on the way into The King's Head. She told you we were there to see you anyway.'

'Right, I remember,' Calvin said looking at Raphael. 'I thought you looked familiar. Damn, we should have invited Stosh along today.'

'Don't worry, I've told him where you are so he might pop along later. Anyway, I know how good you are and am certain to capture that excellence. I'll be along tonight to see you and The USed Wonz.'

'Cool.'

'Another reason I reckon we're in for a good video is your strong identity. All audience members will be dressed in your colours. You've got the backdrops and the T-shirts. How many have you got by the way?'

Calvin thought about it. 'There's probably around fifty in the van.'

'Right. Trudie will be looking to buy around thirty from you and give them to audience members to wear or shake.' Des waved his hands above his head.

'I love it,' Raphael said.

'Where are you getting the audience from?' Danny asked.

Des looked puzzled for a moment. 'They're mostly Little Spirit fans. Didn't you know?'

'No, how come?'

'A couple of Trudie's colleagues went around your Borderline gig last night with flyers. Even though it's a week day loads said they'd come along. The rest we'll make up from the agency. Though we only need around fifty people they'll look like five-hundred on film. If any more show up they'll be at the back. By the end of today we should have the stage shots and the disco shots wrapped up. Any questions yet?'

When no one had Des continued. 'We'll do the other stuff tomorrow.'

No one asked about that and Des checked his watch and suggested the band head to makeup.

* * *

Putting their faith in the makeup girls who plied on foundation and eye shadow the boys edged towards a post new romantic look. A stylist checked not only the clothes they stood in but the other black white and blues they'd brought along impressed by the band's physical condition and their distinct self-styling.

'Looking good,' Des said strolling into makeup.

'We're ready,' a technician said having stuck his head round the door.

'Good stuff,' Des said. 'If the band's sorted will you show them to the stage?'

The band followed the technician round the side and to the back of the stage.

'When you get on stage would you take your cymbals off their stands please?' the technician said.

Raphael turned his nose up. 'I can, but why?'

'We've got silent cymbals for you.'

Whist Calvin and Danny waited, Raphael climbed the steps to the back of the stage to his drums. A cheer rose through the spotlights' glare. He saw the technician smile.

Raphael went to the front of the stage wondering what to expect. In front of the stage mics he saw rails where, to his left, a camera sat on a dolly. Looking through the dazzling lights he saw more than a hundred people all dressed exclusively in black, white and blue pressed against the front of the stage and disappearing row after row into the blackness behind.

'Hey, bonjour,' he said into what would be Calvin's mic pleased to hear his voice booming through the towered speakers either side of the stage. 'Thanks for coming. Great to see you in fine numbers – and colours.' He watched the crowds joyful faces cheer their gratitude back.

Raphael couldn't think of another thing to say. Thankfully another cheer went up. Calvin and Danny had arrived to check out the fuss.

'Hiya,' Danny said into his stage right mic. 'You ready to be part of this video?' The crowd erupted. 'Well we couldn't wish for better people to represent us. Thank you all.'

At his drums Raphael removed the cymbals he'd been told. The technician said, 'Here you go.'

Raphael looked at the plastic disks he'd been given. 'You've got to be kidding,' he said incredulously.

'Nope. I know they seem naff but I swear under the stage lights they'll look better than the real thing.'

'I hope you're right,' Raphael said setting them on his vacant stands. He didn't bother piping up when he saw the rubber silencing pads that covered his drum skins. Sitting at the kit he kicked the bass drum pedal and from the feel knew someone must have silenced it from the inside.

Amy and Katherine had joined the congregation near the back.

'We can squeeze forward before they start rolling,' Amy said.

'I'm okay here,' Katherine said. Surveying the view she saw Grace.

'Hi Katherine,' Grace said smiling.

'Amy reckons we should head to the front but I don't much fancy our chances,' Katherine said.

'Looks like a tight rabble,' Grace said. 'Maybe we can be nearer the front for the next session.'

Meanwhile Trudie had called Calvin to the van. 'T-shirts?' he asked.

'Yeah please. I was going to take thirty but a lot of the crowd already have them. Some of your guys have turned up with Little Spirit banners to wave. I'll take twenty ... no, I will take thirty. Might need extra and if not I'll hand them out around Vanquar.'

'As you wish,' Calvin said thinking how cool it would be to have the Vanquar staff displaying the band name. Trudie handed him the cash.

When Calvin ran back to the stage Des appeared and requested a quick word. The band now ready to play formed a huddle.

'I'm about to address the crowd but just so as you know during the first pass of the song we'll be filming them whilst they're still being natural and fresh. Basically don't worry that there's no camera on you to start with. Just relax and play along with the recorded track. Your mics are going off so do sing out if that helps. We'll probably go through the song ten times to make sure we've got what we need by which time the audience may get restless. I'll help keep them encouraged with the promise of tea and biscuits. Any questions?'

'I do,' Raphael said. 'We mime along to ze track but how will I know when to start?'

'Excellent question. You'll get the same two bar count you play live with through your headset monitors. Beep-bop-bop-bop Beep-bop-bop – dra dada,' Des said miming air drums.

Given that they'd be miming Calvin figured he had nothing to remember and therefore nothing could go wrong. With that he didn't feel his usual nervous self. Instead he felt silly.

On stage he stood beside Raphael's drums watching Des jog round the side of the crowd to address them away from the stage. He saw the crowd's attention turn away from the stage towards Des. Even though Calvin had mimed along in his own room, dancing around in front of real people seemed ridiculous. Or, so he felt until from the other side of the room Des called, _action._

As stage smoke billowed from its machine Calvin turned to see Raphael taught with concentration. Then with a sharp intake of breath he performed his snare drum fill and began playing. Calvin turned to face front as the studio recorded drums cracked around the stage and out to the crowd who lunged towards the sound. Along the front of the stage a camera aimed at the charging rabble whizzed past Calvin's nose.

Despite the audience not seeming to care, Calvin guessed Danny must have been feeling similarly maladroit as he sidled up displacing the balance of the stage and not helping Calvin who still had nothing to do for a further eight bars during Danny's rock riff. Calvin's mind ran ahead as he thought to the _hey-yeah_ vocal that would come in with the bass.

Calvin readied himself for the stop that he'd fill with bass to kick off the intro chorus. When it came he pulled the strings as he would normally and, because he heard bass, he felt the same as had he played it. He took the mic and sang his _hey-yeah_ line just as normal and felt incredible seeing through the stage lights the faces of an ecstatic crowd.

At the end of the song Des called, 'Cut. Excellent everyone.'

Cameras re-angled amidst a flurry of technicians and on Des's instruction the band performed the song again this time the cameras caught long shots of the stage. Feeling wholly different Calvin jumped hard on his springboard to the delight of everyone not least of all Des.

'Next we'll focus on the drums,' Des said. Calvin stood aside to allow rails to be laid around the kit.

'Great stuff,' Des said with another take bagged. Lifting the rails created room for a camera on a boom. During that take Calvin performed as he would normally but kept sneaking looks behind where the camera floated like a bumblebee above Raphael and down low where he'd be stamping his kick drum pedal.

Having relaxed into the situation Calvin rocked out when the time arrived for his shots. Down in one take, Des said they had plenty recorded and after focusing the cameras on Danny he called for one final take.

This time three beautiful girls appeared near the front. From the drums Raphael didn't see much other than the crowd parting as the girls approached wearing Little Spirit T-shirts and shiny wigs – one black, one white and one blue.

'Okay this time, guys on stage, can you focus your performance on these girls?'

Off they went for the final take. Calvin wondered why they hadn't been brought on sooner. Maybe they'd only been hired for a set time, maybe they didn't want the models getting knocked about or sweaty.

With cameras rolling Calvin and Danny converged to face the girls. Calvin guessed each one had been told which musician to stare at. Whatever he did, the one in the white wig wouldn't shift her attention from Raphael. He soon found his girl. Though girls being bought in to 'love' the band seemed fraudulent the feeling of cheating took on a new meaning once he focused on the babe in a blue wig. Like Katherine she had dark eyes smouldering with attitude that seemed to question why it had taken him so long to find her. But now he had she wore the expression of a woman who'd stop at nothing to get what she wanted and Calvin, now feeling treacherous more than fraudulent, didn't doubt what she wanted.

'Cut,' Des shouted and Calvin suddenly realised the song had ended.

He looked at Danny. Danny said, 'Wow.'

When Calvin looked back at his model he saw the blue hair walking away. She glanced back and giggled. 'What just happened there?' Calvin asked.

'I don't know. Was yours really intense?' Danny said.

'I think we should find the girls,' Calvin said. 'Our girls, I mean.'

'Give me a sec. I don't think I should take my guitar off yet.'

* * *

The crowd broke and queues formed outside the catering room. Katherine, Amy and Grace had remained behind the mash of people. The crowd's unwavering energy throughout the morning's shoot meant the girls couldn't have felt hotter at a real gig.

Grace looked to the area being rearranged into a dance floor. 'I wonder if we'll get to be in all Little Spirit videos?'

'If my exams weren't in eight weeks I'd be sneaking onto The USed Wonz set tomorrow,' Amy said.

'Here they are,' a voice said. Katherine turned seeing Richard approaching with Trudie and The USed Wonz.

Katherine thought the band looked tired. 'How are you feeling today?'

'Jetlag's a real killer,' Johnny said. 'You three are looking wonderful in Little Spirit colours.'

'Thanks,' Katherine said finding The USed Wonz difficult to read.

'Have you been up long?' Grace asked.

'No,' Johnny said ahead of anyone else. 'But we've been measured for Anthony Price suits.'

'Apparently they'll be ready for the shoot,' Stu the drummer said.

Though Stu said little he seemed more regular Katherine thought. Johnny usually spoke first but gave very little of himself away. She detected something in his cockney accent she didn't buy but wondered if it couldn't be the American creeping in. Most men's gazes would linger a little longer on well turned out women but Johnny so far hadn't. Katherine dismissed that he might be gay on account of his obvious masculinity; something that went beyond his alpha status. The girls had shown up with different sweatshirts but looked equally dowdy as the night before. In Katherine's experience, only women who'd given up on sex or felt very confident in their sexuality failed to look at her with a touch of contempt. The USed girls seemed unaffected.

Trudie looked at clipboard notes. 'I'm afraid USed Wonz you've missed Little Spirit rocking out for today. They're just cooling off but will be back into makeup and then we'll start on the dance floor shots; if you want to stay for that.'

The USed Wonz shrugged. Trudie turned the page. 'Tomorrow is the beach shots.'

'Des mentioned a beach. What's that all about?' Amy asked and chuckled.

Trudie rolled her eyes. 'Yeah I know. Would you believe right now they're building a cocktail bar in a sandpit in front of a Hawaiian backdrop?'

'Sounds great I could use a G and T,' Mazz said.

Grace had told Katherine that major record companies operated with military precision and noted that everything then proceeded just as Trudie described.

From their vantage points the girls hadn't seen much of the models other than wigs and Little Spirit T-shirts. Before the lads came out of makeup the three models exited still wearing colourful wigs but tight dresses that scarcely covered their buttocks and high heeled stilettos. Amy looked at Katherine horrified.

'Rock 'n' Roll,' Katherine said. 'We knew this would happen.' She trusted Calvin but watching the swaying rumps heading for the dance floor wondered which one Danny would dance with and how Amy would feel.

* * *

'Did you see our models?' Calvin asked them when the band came out.

Katherine asked, 'Which one's yours babe?'

Touching her face he looked into her eyes. 'Blue hair, but it doesn't matter.'

'Oh behave you two,' Amy said.

'Let's get a good position whilst we still can,' Grace said heading to the dance floor.

* * *

Raphael felt excited amongst the dance floor crowd, the lights and the three models in their dresses of either black, white or blue.

Des addressed the crowd telling them once the music started to dance as they would at a disco.

'Boys and girls don't be afraid to dance with each other,' he said. Looking around he said, 'We could do with some snoggers.'

Des had told the band they'd not be kissing their models but Raphael watched aghast when Des put a hand on Grace's shoulder and asked, 'Are you okay with a bit of background snogging?'

'Sure,' she said surprising Raphael who thought she'd be way too shy to agree especially with her uncle lurking out of shot.

Keeping a hand on Grace's shoulder, Des scanned for a partner. 'Would you snog this guy?' he asked her pointing to a suitably fetching lad.

Getting no sense that she'd object Raphael felt irrationally aggrieved. Without knowing why stepped forward. Des had released Grace and Raphael put both hands on her shoulders. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

'Why not?' Grace turned to Des. 'It's just a stage kiss right?'

'Whatever feels most natural,' he said. 'You'll be in the background anyway.'

'There you are, it's fine.'

'If you're sure,' Raphael said stepping back but biting his lip.

'What's going on?' Calvin asked him.

'I don't know.'

'Mate you can't behave the way you do then get all moralistic about a stage kiss,' Danny said.

'I know, but I just did.'

Soon the music started and everyone danced. The cameras snaked around on rails. The models kept out of shot to start with. The music would stop in order that someone could come and give dance lessons to those doing too little or too much. The overly arrhythmic found themselves moved from the camera's travels. Grace and her stage boyfriend snogged stopping only when Des called cut.

Happy with what he saw Des brought the models in and shooting resumed with the dancing crowd and band members strutting around his designated female target. Des called cut and the choreographer appeared to give the band lessons in salsa dancing.

Calvin with a firm command of rhythm and having performed the song on stage many times felt a little put out when the instructions seemed so basic. Each band members would essentially provide support for his model who, would lean backwards against his chest stretching out a leg. The models would spin round, shake hips and flick coloured hair before approaching her musician, hook a leg round him and arch back and point breasts to the ceiling; like boiled eggs in eggcups Calvin thought.

As the shoot progressed he considered speaking out sensing the dance would bring naffness to the video he thought might otherwise have credibility. Appreciating the luck they'd landed in getting the shoot he kept quiet.

To his right Danny looked uncomfortable but to his left Raphael seemed to have fallen into his acting role and had no problem locking eyes with the woman hanging from his neck.

Calvin's blue haired friend wore her lustiest expression forcing Calvin to periodically break eye contact for fear he'd succumb and kiss her.

Fortunately the rest of the shoot involved the models moving through the dancing throng and a boy, girl line-up where on the count of three everyone clapped though nobody knew why.

'Cut,' Des called ages later. 'Let's wrap it up there for today. Very well done everybody.'

Only when amongst the exodus for the doors did Danny spot Stosh. 'There you are. How you doing?'

'Great,' Stosh said. 'Well not so great actually. I've just found out I'm being turfed out my flat in two months. The owners are putting it back on the market. But well done today.'

'Looks like it'll be a decent video,' Danny said.

'It should be with Des at the helm.'

'Hope so,' Danny said. He turned the conversation back to Stosh. 'Sorry to hear about your housing problems. Where are you at the moment?'

'Watford.'

'Really, that far out? Are you looking to move closer to the city?'

'Would be nice, but who knows?'

Cutting in, Amy said, 'I'm off now Danny.'

'Aren't you coming to The Marquee?'

'Too worried about exams, I need to revise.'

'I'm gutted,' Danny said not able to look at her. 'Can we at least give you a lift to the city?'

'You've got all the gear to pack. Trudie's going now so I'll catch a lift with her.'

Forgetting about Stosh, Danny said, 'Thanks for coming today. And for being so beautiful.'

* * *

Amy would have gone to The Marquee and would have loved to see The USed Wonz but she feared breaking her promise to do some study every day.

An hour later she stepped onto Chingford Mount Road but seeing a bus pull away chose to walk the few stops.

She made slow progress in her new heels. The wind caught her hair. She pulled her jacket tight.

She hadn't stepped far enough for her feet to hurt before she heard a lad shouting.

Looking across the street she dismayed seeing both dreadful lads from the horrendous night at the Hippodrome months earlier. Pretending to ignore them she marched on but they crossed the road advancing. Amy spun round seeking escape but every shop had already closed.

Putting her head down she forged onwards. She dismissed the notion of crying for help sensing passers-by would want no part of her turmoil. Plus the lads so far hadn't actually done anything.

Her outfit made her vulnerable but she didn't know if she'd run even if she'd worn jeans and trainers.

As the lads bore down on her, the first one she'd danced with that night moved in front and threw out a halting hand. Amy sidestepped but the next lad blocked her way and bumped her none too gently.

'Is it my birthday already?' he said.

With the first lad now behind sandwiching her, Amy still hugging herself screeched, 'Leave me alone or I'll call the police.'

The first lad yanking a lock of her hair said, 'Call the police? We haven't done anything.'

'Yeah, you're the violent one from what I remember,' the second lad said.

'Hows about I calls the police?' a third male voice sounded.

The lads looked towards it. Amy twisted in the lad's grip and saw a stocky dark haired man around thirty facing them. One hand held a motorbike helmet the other clenched into a whitening fist.

'Won't be necessary,' one of the lads said. Amy didn't care which.

She didn't care when the other turned away saying, 'We're leaving.'

'No you ain't,' the man said putting his helmet down.

The first lad made to run but the man grabbed an arm. Amy stepped backwards as the startled lad swung a badly aimed haymaker. The man leaned out its way and using the momentum put him in an arm lock. The lad squealed but, perhaps out of shock, fell silent when the man kicked the backs of his legs slamming his knees to the ground.

'You thinks I'm gonna let yous walk away after being so rude to this lady?'

Amy's heart thumped as fear turned to excitement.

'Come on fella, let him go,' the other lad said.

'Shut it you.' Nearly snapping the lad's arm the man gripped a fist of hair to steer a reluctant face towards Amy. 'Terrorising anyone especially ladies in't tolerated. Now what do yous say to her?'

'I'm sorry.'

The man brought even more pain by standing on the Achilles tendon.

'Come on fella, that's enough.'

'Says you're sorry and make sure I believes you.'

'I'm sorry,' the lad almost sobbed with abandoned self-respect.'

'What about you?' the man barked at the second lad.

He faced Amy and said, 'I'm sorry. We didn't mean to terrorise you. We were just having fun.'

'You've a sick idea of fun,' Amy said.

'Well said.' The man loosened his grip. 'How are yous gonna behave if you see this lady in the future?'

'We'll be nice,' the still arm locked lad said.

'We'll stay out your way,' the second lad said. 'You won't see us again.'

Amy looked at the man who asked her, 'You satisfied?'

She nodded. 'You can let them go.'

Amy caught a look of fearsome anger in the man's face but it evaporated before he thankfully said, 'Right, clear off the pair of yers.'

The lads couldn't have been more than two steps into their escape before Amy forgot them seeing only her knight in shining armour.

He asked, 'Are you okay?'

'I'm Amy.'

The man stooped to pick up his helmet. 'Marlon, pleased you're alright an' all.'

Finally Amy's arms relaxed. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm great,' he said. 'The only way this's getting better is taking you for a drink – right now.'

Amy remembered her studies but Marlon persuaded her whisky would be the restorative she required. She compromised by letting him buy her an Irish coffee in the café.

Marlon sat across the table and stared at her the way Calvin stared at Katherine.

'I'm not going to ask who those idiots were,' Marlon said.

'No, suffice to say they're idiots. Thank you again. Where did you come from?'

'I own the grocery. I was locking up. And there you were being gorgeous and giving me an excuse to talk to you.'

'I should eat more fruit and veg.'

Somehow that led to the _have you got a boyfriend/girlfriend_ questions. Marlon touched her hand and she didn't flinch not so he'd notice anyway.

'You got nice nails, blue and black. I'm interested to know if you was going home where were you going home from?'

Amy told him about Little Spirit and the video shoot. He said he'd seen posters in The Dog and Parrot.

'They're playing The Marquee tonight,' she said.

'Wow, they're coming on.'

'Yeah, they're supporting The USed Wonz.'

'Johnny and The Used Ones?' Marlon seemed to choke a snarl.

'Well, Johnny's in The USed Wonz.'

'Changed their name didn't they; Stu the drummer insisted. Me and them goes way back. I tell you what if you think I'm up for a tussle you should see Johnny and Stu scrapping. By crikey theys stop at nothing.'

Amy detected a disturbing bitterness in Marlon but he soon relaxed and explained he'd had a veg stall in Shepherd's Bush Market. Johnny and Stu started market work too and would often neutralise shoplifters.

'Johnny seems an odd character,' Amy said.

'Johnny Won's a strange one alright. If you're on the right side of him he's well loyal. Don't get the wrong side though. And he don't waste time with nobody what can't help his ambitions.'

'Did you get on?' she dared ask.

Amy dismissed the rage she saw flash across his face.

'We got on, for a bit,' Marlon said loosening his grip on his glass. 'I plays guitar and write songs, mostly for myself nowadays. I've got the shop and all but we was in a band together until he got them bloody girls in.'

'Do I detect a little sourness?'

'Johnny was sacking people all the time. I should've guessed I'd not last long. Suppose he's happy now he's got Stu on drums and them two babes.'

_Babes?_ Amy thought.

Marlon said, 'We should go see them.'

'I'd love to but I've got to get back to study.'

'Ah come on.'

'I don't believe you really want to see them,' Amy said scrutinising his expression.

'You're right, theys can go to hell,' he said darkly. But brightening he said, 'I just wanna spends more time with my new girl here. Can't I persuade you?'

Amy stuck to her guns and refused Marlon's insistence to walk her home. He lived in the other direction anyway.

'It's nice you want to see me again,' Amy said thinking of her exams and of Danny. She looked at the man Danny's size and shape but who had rescued her. 'What you did for me earlier ...'

'Yeah?'

'Amazing. I'd happily see you again.'

Again thinking of Danny she refused him the flat's phone number but took his and promised to call.

He didn't believe she'd call to the point she became irritated. Despite this she rang the moment she arrived home and arranged a date.

* * *

Though The USed Wonz had the headline slot Little Spirit had to provide the backline. Stu had brought his own snare and cymbals, Johnny brought his guitar as did Mazz but Christine's keyboards had to be hired from a Denmark Street music shop.

After Little Spirit set up, The USed Wonz took the stage claiming first soundcheck.

'Will you be alright with my old amp?' Danny asked standing beside his AC30 watching Johnny take the strangest deep dusty-blue and grey Stratocaster from its case.

Johnny glanced at the amp. 'No worries, this guitar's like magic; it's the only electric I own. I could plug this into the spare wheel of your van and it'd sound great.'

Danny stood back relieved seeing Johnny notch the volume down a touch. 'Cheers for the lend Danny, I'll be gentle.'

'Let's hear her then,' Danny said jumping down from the stage.

Tuning up Johnny said, 'Sound's best in the context of a mix.' He played a few clean chords before stepping on a pedal and letting rip with a lead sound.

'Lovely,' Danny said but didn't really rate the sound.

On the other side of the stage Mazz plugged into Calvin's new Trace Elliot amp and thumped a sweet bassline.

For their soundcheck The USed Wonz didn't so much play a song as hint at one. They checked their vocal mics with _one, twos_ and _ooh_ sounds.

An hour later Little Spirit played to a full house delighting Richard and Des and many who had attended the video shoot still sporting Little Spirit T-shirts.

After the encore Little Spirit thanked the crowd for making them feel so welcome at The Marquee. Back in their dressing room Johnny and Stu crashed in on them cooling off.

'Bloody well done guys,' they both said. 'That was even better than last night.'

'Fantastic,' Raphael said seeing Johnny still looking like a cowboy. 'You look good. Are you going on like that?'

'Nah, the girls will be done soon. Only takes us a sec to do a quick change.'

'Better shift though,' Stu said.

'We'll see you out there. Best of luck,' Calvin said.

Both bands left the dressing room. The USed Wonz headed for their dressing room and Little Spirit headed out to watch the show.

Since receiving The USed album Raphael had listened to it nonstop. He'd liked it immediately but with further listens he could hear elements that made him believe the USed sound might be even more professional than their own. Where Calvin and Danny found beauty in words and danced with rhyme scheme and cleverness Johnny's darkened heart communicated a deeper more direct emotion to the listener. Moods swung from sadness or regret to joy or power. Only _Magic Words_ had that kind of understated energy in Little Spirit's set.

Calvin and Danny had begun to hear these things too and all three stood before the stage where they would appreciate The USed Wonz' performance. But first Raphael fancied attempting another conversation with Linda.

He saw she'd dressed down in jeans and checked shirt and looked all the more American and still curiously attractive. Raphael, closer to Grace than Calvin or Danny, hadn't worked out the chemistry between them especially after he'd reacted to her stage kiss.

He figured he'd wait until she engaged in conversation with Richard and Des. Then he turned to Linda.

'Hi,' he said giving her a friendly nudge with his elbow.

Linda took a sideways step and faced him. 'Hello, Raphael,' she said formerly offering her hand.

Raphael closed his around her fingers the way he always did with ladies in order to turn their hand and kiss it. However, intuition counselled him not to chance his French charm.

Linda smiled. 'You were very good tonight, and last night for that matter.'

'Better than Ze USed Wonz?'

'No, not better than The USed Wonz.'

Raphael shook his head. 'Really? But we were cracking; energised by ze video shoot and all that.'

'I know, that's why I said you were very good and you were, very good.'

'But not better than Ze USed Wonz?'

'You'll see,' Linda said pointing to the stage.

When he faced the stage he saw something that caused him to forget Linda and the shoot's dancing models. Without introduction or music The USed Wonz had arrived. But Raphael didn't see anyone other than the keyboard player.

Rather than face front Christine's keyboards, positioned stage left, looked across the stage. She stood sideways to the audience where she could see her bandmates. The jeans and sweatshirts had given no suggestion of the body that existed beneath and now Raphael's heart raced seeing what he'd been missing. Under stage lights her chewing of gum detracted nothing from her un-rufflable persona now appearing all the more sophisticated with black eye shadow and plum lips. In a black off-the-shoulder jersey dress clinging to every curve Christine left no more than absolutely necessary to the imagination. His descending gaze stopped at a buttock-clinging hemline where deliciously soft skin vanished into thigh-high stiletto boots.

Raphael stared at the bare thighs moving to a steadily building hi-hat rhythm and stopped breathing.

When survival instinct took over Raphael drew breath breaking his reverie. He wondered about Mazz. Tearing his eyes from Christine he looked stage-right past Johnny and saw another transformation had occurred.

Mazz stood with similarly smoky makeup and in an equally figure-hugging but strapless dress pulsing a bass pedal note. Raphael longed to see more of the curves uncompromised by her comparative leanness. When she turned to face the drums the groove deepened and with her guitar out the way he saw Mazz's tiny waist sweeping into a lovely pelvic swish. His eyes fell below the knee-length dress's end and watched her perching on open-toe sling-back heels.

Though he knew Katherine would win hands down as most beautiful, Raphael sensed an appealing dirtiness in both Christine and Mazz and wondered how on earth he'd decide which girl to try his luck with.

* * *

The promoters had been effective and plenty of people had heard about and taken the opportunity to see The USed Wonz on this rare occasion. But the packed Marquee crowd hadn't settled. Calvin stood with Katherine amongst chattering souls. He thought how most bands panicked if they thought they'd lost an audience and either tried too hard or became disheartened. The USed Wonz plain ignored it.

The song began slowly and though Johnny still hadn't sung or touched a note the band crescendo'd. Eventually he stepped to the mic and, as all sound dropped away but for keyboards Johnny barely whispered the verse of the first song.

The audience chattered on. Knowing the song Calvin wished everyone would shut up and let The USed Wonz play. Seeming oblivious Christine looked up from her keys past Johnny. Mazz looked back. Though neither girl reacted Calvin sensed assurance in their exchange. Mazz pulled a bass note leading the chorus.

Still ever so quietly Johnny opened his arms as if to embrace the audience and sang, ' _How can we be so happy, when we have nothing at all?'_

Like a hypnotist issuing the trigger word all conversation evanesced and Calvin saw audience members suddenly zone in on Johnny.

Danny had been thinking the same as Calvin but now the hairs on the back his neck awoke in anticipation of the chorus which swept in carrying Johnny's bewitching Stratocaster. The warmth of his overdriven sound sliced the mix and penetrated hearts. Danny understood that Johnny hadn't exaggerated when lauding the blue and grey instrument.

Songs passed and standing between Calvin and Grace, Katherine witnessed for the first time in ages a band in the same league as Little Spirit. The USed Wonz had it all covered, their songs and sound meant something to everyone. Where Little Spirit had limited their image to three colours, The USed Wonz limited theirs to only black. The reformed girls in their dresses looked sexy and inscrutable. Stu pulled his vest off halfway through the show. Johnny wore black silk, unbuttoned. If he stood at the right angle, possibly whilst swigging from a Austin Daniels bottle, Katherine could see his chopping board hard body and the suggestion of some private hair; given the low fit of his leather pants. She controlled her breathing and took Calvin's hand.

Raphael's eyes had been oscillating from Mazz to Christine but Johnny had taken over. And Stu, who despite not lambasting the drums somehow crashed into the kit with an avalanche of sound and tom-tom riffs.

With the crowd in the palm of their hands The USed Wonz' songs rocked, rolled, bounced and sailed by.

They played their last track and the crowd cheered, calling for more. Acknowledging Linda only briefly Raphael approached Richard. A few rows back with Grace and Trudie he beckoned Richard out of Trudie's earshot. 'Were they always this good?'

'No,' Richard said, 'but they bloody well are now.'

'They're truly fantastic,' Raphael said. 'What's happened?'

'I don't know. I mean, they always were good.' Richard scratched his head. 'I'll tell you a secret. They weren't my choice. Grace heard their demo after seeing them live. I wasn't that interested but she got me along to a gig. She tried to make it look like fate by getting Johnny to say certain things from the stage; like it was meant to be. We wouldn't have signed them if they weren't good but they've notched it up since then.'

'Who's choice was Little Spirit?'

Richard laughed. 'Ah well, after The USed Wonz I couldn't believe when you guys came along. The comparisons between you guys and The USed Wonz ... I don't know, you're almost the same band in terms of your attitude to music and to hard work. You sound very similar too in many respects.'

'So we were your choice?'

'I wouldn't have signed you so soon but again Grace persuaded me you were the right band. There seemed no point waiting. I have to say she's the best thing that's ever happen to GMD. She helped me find the confidence I'd lost.'

Raphael looked over to the redhead standing with Trudie and smiled. Grace waved back before cheering The USed Wonz' return.

'By the way that was decent of you to check Grace was alright at the shoot,' Richard said.

'I'm not sure what came over me.'

'You were probably just being protective. Johnny felt that way about Grace too.'

'Did he?' Raphael said thinking Johnny might be protective by nature.

'I tell you what, if you want to know what's changed with The USed Wonz speak to her.' Richard pointed to Linda.

Raphael waited until The USed Wonz completed their final encore before approaching Linda.

'You're right,' he said, 'Ze USed Wonz are better than us.'

'That was good even by their standards,' Linda said. 'That's made the trip worthwhile.'

'Richard told me they weren't always that good.'

'Maybe, but they've always had something.'

'Something changed. What is it?'

'Probably nothing specific. I book them gigs and they don't complain. I've never known anything like that before. All bands get tired and whingey eventually.'

'But not Ze USed Wonz?'

Linda nodded. 'So I filled their gig diary even more and still they don't complain. I sometimes feel I'm on a mission to break them.'

'So you think their brilliance comes from prolific gigging.'

'Sure. If you ask a bricklayer if he's good at building walls he's bound to say yes; if that's all he does. Gig as much as these guys and you'd have to be that good.'

'Makes sense.'

After a moment Linda asked, 'So which one d'you fancy?'

* * *

'Congratulations, that was sublime,' Calvin said as the first member of Little Spirit to enter The USed Wonz' dressing room. 'Thought I best mention they're calling last orders at the bar.'

'Ee crikey,' Mazz said. 'Come on, no time to change.' She grabbed Christine's hand and the two girls ran out still in full stage regalia.

Raphael wanted to chase after them but thought it better to coax Johnny to the bar first. 'Do you and Stu not want a beer?'

'I'm good,' Stu said.

'I don't drink,' Johnny said.

'Eh?' Calvin looked at Raphael and back to Johnny. 'We've just seen you quaff half a bottle of JD.'

'This bottle?' Johnny said shaking it.

'Yeah.'

'It's tea,' Johnny laughed.

'Tea?'

'Yeah, it's a bit silly really. I might stop doing it. Have a pull if you don't believe me.' Johnny handed him the bottle. Calvin sniffed and sure enough smelt tea.

'How come you don't drink?' Danny asked.

Johnny curled his nose and looked down. 'Never got into it. Dulls the senses.'

'Johnny had a tough upbringing,' Stu said. 'Needed to stay sharp.'

'I don't drink either,' Raphael said.

Johnny brightened as if having found a partner in crime. 'Really, that's very rare these days? How come?'

'Don't like ze taste.'

'Good for you. Should save a few pennies not to mention liver and brain cells.'

'That's ze plan.'

'Hey Danny,' Johnny said. 'Thanks again for the lend of your amp. I don't know how it sounded out front but on stage it sounded tremendous. I'll be looking Vox up when I get back for sure.'

'Really?' Danny said. 'Because I'll be looking for Stratocasters come Monday. You're right your guitar sounded amazing.'

'You won't find another Strat like that. Maybe you guys come over to the States and we'll share gear.'

'That's fair. I owe Raphael a go on my drums,' Stu said.

'There's a plan,' Danny said. 'So how come I won't find a Strat like yours, isn't it a proper Fender?'

'Oh it's Fender alright. But they all vary from year to year, model to model. That one's just freakishly good'

'Not seen a grey and blue one before.'

'No,' Johnny said. 'Possibly not the best idea but that was me and Stu's handiwork.'

'He nicked it,' Stu said. 'Then we stripped and lacquered it so no one would know who it was robbed from.'

'I'm not proud,' Johnny said. 'The guy who owned it couldn't really play. It was a lovely Sunburst colour. We saw his band a few times and just had to have that guitar because I went all over London but couldn't find one as good. In the end I left a bunch of cash in his case with and a beginner's electric and a note saying I was sorry but had plans for it. I tried kidding myself I'd bought it.'

'Didn't people wonder how come you'd got a Strat all of a sudden?' Calvin asked.

'Well, the first thing me and Stu did was break into a workshop after hours to strip and lacquer it. Once it was disguised I did as I always did before I had pennies to rub together, I told people I'd won it. That's how I came by the surname Won. People thought I was saying _one_ like the number. I'd say, no it's _Won_ as in past tense of win. Then these buggers nicked it and we became The USed Wonz.'

'So Won's not really your name,' Danny said. 'Don't tell me _Johnny's_ not real either.'

'It's not,' Stu said.

'Yeah it is,' Johnny said. 'True, I wasn't born Johnny Won. But given that's what I answer to it's real. My birth name died with my past. And it's secret.'

'So you don't know his original name?' Calvin asked Stu.

'No I don't actually.'

Though Raphael found this interesting he itched to get out to the USed girls. As an excuse he said, 'Management's wanting to shut up soon we should get the gear packed.'

'Good idea,' Johnny said. 'That's the sharpness of a sober mind. Always thinking.'

Back on stage Raphael raced to get his drums packed.

Before loading the van Richard and Grace came to say goodnight.

'Trudie's already left,' Richard said. 'The USed Wonz are to get taxis back to their hotel. Trudie will refund them tomorrow at the shoot.' Richard's parting words to Raphael insisted he get an early night and look fresh for the camera.

Raphael could see the USed girls knocking cocktails back at the bar and feared some of the other male fans might crack on to them first but figured if one girl got pulled that'd make his choosing easier.

Before long the stage lay bare and the van doors slammed shut. Back in the venue, just as Raphael took his first step to the bar he saw Christine heading backstage. Mazz only had a drop left in her glass. Raphael dithered not knowing which way to turn but figured Christine would be alone backstage. _Only When it's Saturday,_ he thought seeing his watch pointing after midnight. He strode after her.

Sure enough Raphael found her alone.

'Where's our stuff?' Christine asked him.

'Oh, I think it's been taken back to ze hotel with ze instruments.'

'Oh.'

'Hey you were fantastique tonight,' Raphael said feeling the excitement he always did when approaching girls.

Christine looked at him. Maybe she'd detected nervousness in his voice but she shot a white toothy grin. 'I get it. You'll talk to me now I'm in a skirt, right?'

'No, it's not that,' Raphael said but knew she couldn't have missed the stammer in his voice. Urging his brain to think he said, 'Technically it's a dress not a skirt.'

'So?' Christine said stepping step towards him as Raphael uncharacteristically found himself retreating behind the door. 'Bet you still want to get your hands up it.'

Raphael hadn't heard Mazz's clickerty heels approaching.

'Is our stuff in the other room?' she asked not seeing Raphael.

'Haven't checked,' Christine said as Raphael held his breath. 'We think it's gone to the hotel.'

'I'll go see,' Mazz said not picking up that Christine had said, _we._

Raphael breathed a sigh of relief. Christine advanced on him again and pinched his cheek. She turned her face and called down the corridor. 'Hey Mazz, have you pulled?'

'It's not here,' came Mazz's voice. 'Pulled? Err ... not really why?

'I've got Raphael. Fancy sharing?'

Raphael couldn't believe his ears. Mazz didn't reply but the clicking of heels suggested she'd be with them in seconds. Christine looked at him blankly and said, 'I not stupid. I saw you looking at her too. I don't blame you. If I was a guy I'd do her.'

Mazz's face appeared round the door. 'Share? Yeah alright then.'

* * *

In the main hall Calvin wanted to get going. He jumped on the stage to check nothing had been left.

'Calvin,' Raphael said jogging over to him. 'Mate take ze van keys will you? I'll meet you at ze shoot tomorrow.'

'Mate, slow down,' Calvin said. 'What you on about?'

'I'm sorry, I know early night and all but I've got to do this.'

Before Calvin could enquire he caught sight of Christine and Mazz heading for the exit. The look on Raphael's face told him all he needed. 'Aw, I don't know mate, the timing's terrible.'

'I know but what can I do?'

'Whatever you do don't be late tomorrow. Have you got money?'

'Cheers, I've got a bit.'

Calvin fished in his pockets. 'Here take this.'

Raphael accepted an extra fiver and set his watch alarm for 7am. 'Cheers again, got to dash. I'll see you first thing yes?'

Calvin watched him sprint for the exit and cursed him before feeling grateful that he never complained about Katherine being ever-present.

Raphael ran for the closing door. Though he knew he had to seize the opportunity it didn't stop him fearing it. In the last few minutes he'd learned that whist Johnny's alpha status ruled The USed Wonz, he'd just been dominated by Christine. The door flew open and he looked up the street to see the girls had already hailed a Hackney cab. Slowing he tried appearing nonchalant. He regarded Mazz and sensed even she might possess greater dominance than him.

Christine held the cab's door for Mazz who climbed in ahead of her. When Raphael reached the cab he got in, pulled the extra seat down and sat with his back to the driver.

'Have you got cash for this, you'll get it back off Trudie tomorrow?' Christine said.

'Yeah I suppose,' Raphael said thanking God for Calvin's generosity but wondering how he'd cross London in the weekend's early hours.

Christine crossed her legs but before Raphael could spend two seconds scanning the women they leaned forward each grabbing a forearm.

'Come here,' Mazz said pulling him to their seat.

Raphael landed between the girls as the cab pulled away. Mazz's hands fondled his chest. Sitting on his left she cooed into his ear and kissed his neck whilst Christine held his jaw and poured a spurious monologue of filth into his other ear. She vividly illustrated what she wanted to see him do to Mazz. She paused as if checking he'd like that but, never waiting for an answer, moved onto her next wishes, what she'd like Raphael to do to her and what would he like to see her do to Mazz? Unable to answer, Christine proceeded to tell him her version of what he'd like before saying, 'You'd like that wouldn't you little man? Yes you would.' But Raphael had scarcely heard of some of the practices Christine purred and thought there must be laws forbidding their administration. Surely American lovemaking couldn't be so different to European?

Though the nights still hadn't shown sign of shortening he reckoned Christine's marathon wouldn't end before first light. He felt as exhausted as he knew he'd look for the following day's shoot. Despite realising his mistake he knew he'd forever regret not making it.

The taxi pulled up at the hotel and Raphael paid the cabbie who'd pretended not to notice the insanity going on behind him.

Crossing the hotel's expansive lobby with a gorgeous girl on each arm Raphael's pride swelled. The USed girls whipped that from him he second the lift doors closed.

Arriving at floor seven they dragged him along the corridor bare-chested and open-flied. Mazz had tried leading him by his unbuckled belt but it pulled straight out. Each girl took a hand as he hobbled after them using his elbows to keep his jeans from falling.

At the bedroom door Mazz produced the key and stepped inside.

A light came on and Raphael received a shove from Christine. He stumbled forwards and turned to face her. Pushing him again he fell onto the double bed. He heard the door slam. Christine pinned him down.

Lifting his head he watched her dress stretch as she straddled him. He felt Mazz kneeling by his head. Raphael looked up at her face and back to Christine who said, 'It's so good to have you here Raphael. Life on the road can be so lonely. Can't it Mazz?'

'Hmmm,' Mazz said.

Raphael's eyes sprang wider still as he watched the two girls engage in a fervent kiss.

## Saturday 10th March 1984

A high pitched beeping pulled Raphael from the inadequate sleep that had only begun forty or so minutes earlier. The two cats, now shed of their black panther skins, that had ravaged him didn't stir even when he sat up resting their heads on pillows instead of his chest and stomach.

Following a shower Raphael dressed watching the sleeping beauties and couldn't believe they'd been so intimidating. Naked they faced each other harmlessly. He checked the remains of his money and realised he'd have to run most of the way to Greenwich.

Before leaving he stroked Mazz's hair and kissed Christine's lips. She woke, smiled and said, 'Good night lover. You were wonderful.'

Raphael looked into her sleepy face and enjoyed the moment with the softer side of her character. 'Surviving it was wonderful.'

On his way out she added, 'Good luck on the shoot.'

* * *

Danny, dressed in fully unbuttoned blue shirt and rolled up jeans, sat with Calvin, Amy and Katherine in the makeshift canteen wringing his hands. They'd only arrived twenty minutes ago but already the lads had their outfits on for the beach scenes. Calvin similarly dressed in a white shirt said, 'Stop worrying. He's never let us down.'

'I'm here,' Raphael said coming through the door.

Danny didn't say anything but Calvin stood ushering him to their table. 'Mate, how did you get on?'

Nodding to Katherine and Amy, Raphael sat. 'Who've you told?'

'Only the important people,' Calvin said.

'Does Grace know, and Richard?'

'No,' Calvin said.

Amy looked at Katherine and said, 'We won't tell Grace.'

'That's right,' Katherine said. 'So, like Calvin said, how did you get on?'

No longer running Raphael's body began sweating. He regarded his friends, even Danny looked like he'd burst if he didn't spill the beans. 'Well, put it this way I know how a rabbit must feel being torn apart by terriers.'

'Wow, really?' Katherine said.

'What happened?' Amy asked.

'Not as much as was promised in ze taxi, thank God, but more than I ever thought possible.'

'Disgusting,' Amy said not managing to turn her nose up for needing to laugh.

'Truly appalling,' Katherine mock agreed. 'Talk us through it.'

Raphael slumped in his chair then leant forward resting his chin on his hand.

'Aw, was it that bad?'

Raphael nodded but didn't say more. Des came through the door and seeing him said, 'Blimey have you got food poisoning?'

'He's had a sleepless night,' Amy said.

'Right,' Des sighed. 'Well we'll have to get you dried and changed. Come with me.'

Raphael followed Des to the makeup room which doubled as wardrobe and left him with a lady who handed him towels.

'He's had no sleep,' Des told her.

Behind a screen Raphael dabbed and deodorised. The lady made him strip to his underwear in what must have been a toilet tent and sprayed him with the lightest fake tan. Behind the screen again he changed into a fresh pair of jeans which he rolled to the knee and a black shirt which he left undone. Before he came out from the screen the lady asked, 'Are you decent?'

'As I'll ever be,' Raphael said and came face to face with the lady's folding makeup mirror.'

'This'll sort you out love,' she said conspiratorially.

Overly tired Raphael thought he must be dreaming. On the mirror lay a rolled ten pound note next to a line of white powder. The previous night had been crazy but even it hadn't included Class-A drugs, something his naïve life had never led him to.

Turning his head he said, 'A coffee will sort me out.'

The mirror snapped shut. 'Fine. I only offer it once so don't come running to me when they kick you off set for falling asleep.'

'Got it,' Raphael said.

Unnerved he made a dash for catering where oblivious of his friends he grabbed the coffee pot.

When he sat down he said, 'I think ze makeup lady'll kill me if I don't stay sharp.'

'What, why?' Danny said.

'I refused the coke she put under my nose.'

'Really? Well, good for you,' Calvin said darkly.

Des entered the room and standing at the table said to Raphael, 'You look better. Is that your first coffee this morning?'

'I can drink fast.'

'No need,' Des said. To Danny and Calvin he said, 'You two lads come to makeup if you're ready. Will you girls look after Raphael for five?'

'Will do,' Amy said patting his hand.

'Alright, take it easy and I'll be back soon.'

Seven minutes and two cups of coffee later Amy reckoned Raphael had got the previous night off his chest as best he could.

'They sound like animals,' she said taking his hand as if flirting would dilute her feelings of betrayal towards Danny having met Marlon. 'A threesome with us would be much more loving wouldn't it Katherine?'

'Raphael's kind of put me off for life.'

Des re-joined them and a huge grin appeared.

Katherine said, 'What's Calvin been telling you?'

'Enough,' he said sitting down to face Raphael. 'But, on a serious note, some people misconstrue cocaine abstainers, reckoning they've a holier than thou attitude. That's their problem not yours.'

Raphael thanked him.

'The other two are next door in makeup. Come through; you won't get any more grief I promise.'

After having makeup applied by a different lady Raphael headed on set and found a paradisiacal background of blue sky and palm trees behind an expansive sandpit with a bar in it. To the sides bright lights shone from what looked like umbrellas.

Across from Raphael and his friends the previous day's models stood in high heeled mules, coloured wigs and fluffy dressing gowns.

'Just gonna do a few stills with the girls first,' Des announced. 'Are we ready?'

From between the umbrellas a photographer nodded. The girls dropped their dressing gowns revealing sexy tanned bodies clad only in bikinis of black, white or blue.

'Dear god,' Amy said as the girls stepped into the sand.

'I think I'm immune now,' Raphael said.

The camera clicked as each model struck group, couple or solo poses.

Minutes later the photographer said, 'Just a couple more.'

'Okay,' Des said and turned his attention to Danny. 'You wrote most of the lyrics right?'

'Most,' Danny said watching the models, no longer so self-conscious in his rolled up jeans and open shirt.

'As I understand verse one is about wanting to ask a girl out during daylight hours. _The sun comes up the stars are put away_ ,' Des said reading from a sheet. 'The vocalist approaches the girl but bottles it deciding he'll wait until Saturday. _Tell her everything I'm feeling? No way, Only When it's Saturday_.'

'Spot on,' Danny said. Calvin nodded his agreement.

'Good. Then, verse two is Saturday and by the sounds of it the singer, fortified by the girl's good looks finds the courage to let her know his feelings.'

'Right again.' Danny tried to figure whether he'd written an excessively simple lyric or whether Des had been thorough in his research.

'There follows another chorus, middle-8 and the rest of the song's a celebration of boy getting girl.'

'In a nutshell.'

'So, this is the first verse scene. Each of you has a model to try and pull, not that you'll have any luck. Everyone okay with that?'

Everyone seemed fine so Des continued. 'Verse one is about you guys not taking yourselves too seriously. Raphael you'll be behind the bar, Calvin you'll be sitting on a stool by the bar and Danny you'll be in the foreground as the verse starts with your voice. Raphael your girl will come to the bar you'll try to make her a cocktail but pull the lid off the canister whilst shaking it and sending the drink everywhere. Unimpressed your girl will walk off. Calvin you'll have a drink but spill it over your girl. Grab a napkin and try to dry her. She'll bat your hand away and walk off. Danny you'll trip up in front of your girl. She'll walk and you'll crawl two steps after her, give up, look at the camera and deliver the line, _Only When it's Saturday.'_

'So we'll look stupid?' Calvin said.

'That's not the aim,' Des said. 'I've checked what we shot yesterday and you look fantastic. And you'll look all the more fantastic by way of contrast here. It's only sixteen bars. You've got the rest of the song to look cool.'

'Okay, I guess,' Calvin said.

Danny said nothing but understood Calvin's concern.

Des continued. 'Make sure you laugh at each other too. When Raphael showers himself with cocktail you point and laugh.'

'Yeah I can do that,' Calvin said.

'Good, because he'll laugh at you when you spill your drink.'

'Fair enough I suppose,' Calvin said getting a bit more in the mood.

'We're ready,' a camera man called.

'Thanks,' Des said. 'Okay guys you're up.'

'Just quickly,' Danny asked. 'What are the stills of the models for?'

'We'll drop them on drum beats during the intro. It'll look good.'

The shooting of the scene appeared to be going as Des had described. Calvin's blue haired model gave him the same hungry looks until he tipped blue liquid over her stomach. She couldn't have looked more shocked if Calvin had thrown acid over her. Outraged she stormed off set.

'Brilliant,' Des called as Calvin started lip-syncing and wondering if the video might turn out well in the end.

## Sunday 11th March 1984

Danny had returned from the video shoot and tripping over his room's clutter recalled Katherine's advice. The next day he began the near un-surmountable task of tidying his room. Bags got stuffed with washing and his horrible orange quilt got straightened.

In the living room Raphael slept on and when Amy got up she generously moved him off the settee and into her bed. She spent the day studying with Alison and Joanne. That evening, with the band out the way gigging, she went to meet Marlon.

On Monday the band went to show their support at The USed Wonz shoot. Danny thought The USed Wonz looked fantastic in their Anthony Price suits and dresses. They had a smaller audience crowding their stage but Little Spirit guessed the final cut would look fantastic given their enthusiasm.

He couldn't miss that The USed Wonz had the fatter budget. Walking round the set he saw not a homemade bar in a sandpit but a Ferrari 308GTS parked next to a restored Dodge Charger. Polished to a high sheen it looked like a black General Lee from The Dukes of Hazard with its custom wheels.

'They got more money,' Des said when he found them, 'but we'll see whose video comes out best.'

'You think we're in with a chance?' Raphael asked.

'Yeah. I'll be editing yours. Theirs is getting sent to another studio.'

* * *

Over the next three weeks Little Spirit gigged and began busking more regularly. The clocks went forwards and the weather warmed up. The band finally started earning enough to live.

Amy went to college and studied in her room or with Alison and Joanne. She kept dating Marlon who made her laugh and paid restaurant bills. Limiting herself to two dates per week she kept him away from the flat and didn't introduce him to friends. She hadn't even told Katherine of his existence for fear that it'd get back to Danny. She'd not given him her phone number and until that evening, the first day of April, hadn't been to his place.

Out from the shower Amy passed the boys in the living room grinding out a new repetitive song that must have been called _Joanna_.

'Danny have you got Big Country's album?' she asked.

'In my room. Help yourself.'

'It's alright,' she said thinking she'd never find it amongst his mess.

Danny insisted so Amy unwillingly headed for his room. Incredibly the door opened to vacuous space. Surfaces shone free from dust as the evening sun streamed in. In the corner the double bed with its tatty but straightened orange quilt awaited its owner. Dumbbells had been pushed under the table. Records and leads all had their place. Amy found the album she wanted by flicking right to left before realising they'd been arranged alphabetically.

She went to the living room and congratulated Danny with a hug before returning to her room which now, despite being tidier than it used to be, looked messier than ever. Compared to Danny's hers seemed oppressive and given that the sun moved off her window after first light it always had a slight dampness to it. She looked at her desk overflowing with books and thought how much of a better desk the table in Danny's room would make.

Big Country provided her soundtrack whilst she got ready for her date; making not too much of an effort. Marlon said he'd cook for her and play her some of his songs and then ... Amy knew what he'd want then and though she'd decided tonight would be the night she stood with her reflection unsure what she wanted.

From time to time she still practiced her mantra by the mirror. Whenever she'd repeated the words, _I am beautiful_ a voice from within agreed.

Amy asked her reflection, _Am I hungry?_ She closed her eyes and awaited the response. _Yep, I'm hungry,_ she thought. _Okay, do I want to hear Marlon play guitar? Not bothered,_ came the response. _Hmm, now for the biggie. Do I want to sleep with Marlon?_ Amy waited. She could feel the answer lurking behind resistance. _Do I want to sleep with Marlon? Let the answer come._ It came: _Not particularly._

But Amy had already made her mind up and slipping her feet into her shoes she headed for the front door without saying bye or being seen.

Later, back from an extra shift Katherine dialled her grandparents'. When Emily answered she asked after her mum.

Katherine sensed hesitance. 'I'm not sure where your mother is dear.'

Through further questions Katherine learned that Barbara had bought a passport and from the description guessed that her mum had left the country with John.

After ringing off Katherine lay on her bed unsure how she felt. She decided there'd be no reason for jealously but she couldn't understand why her mum hadn't told her about the trip. And her grandmother hadn't given up information easily and couldn't say when Barbara would be back. Something seemed odd. Why hadn't her mother told her she'd gone travelling?

Three hours later Amy unlocked the door and crept up stairs. She could hear the lads in the living room and so hurried on but Calvin's door opened and there Katherine stood.

'Oh my god,' Katherine said. 'You made me jump. Where've you been?'

'Studying with Alison and Joanne?'

'Without books?'

When Amy said nothing Katherine asked if she wanted to talk about it.

Amy waited in Calvin's room for Katherine to come back with teas.

Katherine said, 'So, whatever's going on I presume you don't want Danny knowing?'

'I didn't even dare tell you, but I may as well now.'

She filled Katherine in on how she'd met Marlon and how their relationship had progressed to that night.

'So he's a songwriter. Any good?'

'Terrible. After tea we went to his bedroom—'

'Was it tidy?'

'Not as tidy as Danny's. Anyway he started strumming these really bland chords and singing such elementary lyrics,' Amy pulled a face. 'He ended one line with _hey,_ just so he could rhyme the next one with _day._ '

'Reminds me of that scene in 10 where Dudley Moore has to listen to the vicar's composition.'

'That's it,' Amy laughed, 'but, bless him, his songs are worse.'

'So, have you, you know... ?'

'Yeah, tonight was the first time.'

'Wow. How was it?'

'Interesting.'

'Oh yeah. That's how I like it. Love it when Calvin gives me an interestingly good seeing to.'

'Stop it Katherine,' Amy laughed. 'I mean, I've never been with someone who's wanted me so much. He was so lovely before and after.'

'Not during?'

'Especially during.'

'But?'

'I don't know.'

'You don't fancy him do you?'

'I do. I just ...'

'Something not quite right. Go and see him a few more times it might work itself out.'

'I intend to and if it does I'll tell Danny.'

'Danny likes you, still not ready to take a chance on him?'

'No. After seeing Marlon deal with those two from the Hippodrome I couldn't put up with someone cowardly.'

'Yeah, but you still like him.'

'I know but what can I do?'

## Monday 2nd April 1984

As requested Little Spirit met Richard and Grace in Vanquar's reception. Planning to busk afterwards they'd brought their acoustic instruments along.

'Hi guys, are you ready to see your first video?' Trudie asked with false enthusiasm.

Of course the band couldn't wait but Trudie becoming grave said, 'Okay, let's just take a moment here before we go upstairs.'

The band sat with Richard and Grace in the reception area.

Trudie stood before them. 'Soon you'll meet Dave Whitaker the head of A and R here. Like you, I'm nervous not having seen the video either. Now I'm sure Richard's explained a bit about how the industry works.'

Calvin sat forwards preparing to listen.

Trudie continued. 'Obviously we're hoping the video will be brilliant and, assuming it's not rubbish,' Trudie laughed without humour, ' _Only When it's Saturday_ will be released in two weeks.'

She waited for the band to resettle. 'Now, your future at Vanquar is not certain. You've got the songs, you've got the image. Some staff including me, know you can perform. And now you've got the video – we hope. This is a critically important time for you guys. Given that you have a following you would get signed for an album release but for the fact that the big guy upstairs is concerned that despite the synths on your album you're still essentially a three-piece solid rock outfit and believes trends are moving away from such acts as The Police and The Jam. Dave Whitaker was gutted to have lost Nik Kershaw to MCA and Howard Jones to WEA just to give you an idea where he's at.'

'We need this single to do well don't we?' Danny said.

'Always,' Trudie said with sympathy, 'but, that's truer now than ever.'

'But from what Richard says without a huge marketing budget it won't do well,' Calvin said.

'It depends how you define doing well.'

'Trudie's reputation is on the line here too you know,' Richard said. 'If this single does well enough she'll look good.'

'And if not,' Trudie said, 'then Dave might start to wonder what I'm doing on the payroll.'

'So we've been cooking a plan,' Richard said.

'That's right. First things first we'll go upstairs and meet Dave. I don't need to remind you how important he is so make the best impression and start scoring points. We'll watch the video and if it's good those two guys who came to The Ivy with us will act like it's the best thing they've seen, which shouldn't be hard; they're genuine converts.'

'Good to know we've got some ammo,' Raphael said.

'That's right, there's a good deal of love up there. It's just a case of convincing Dave. If he likes what he sees and hears we might be in business right away.'

Danny raised an eyebrow. 'What else have you two been cooking up?'

'Gigs,' Trudie said. 'Lots of gigs. You've been doing great getting repeat bookings in the same venues. But now Richard and I, without the aid of the William Morris Agency, have got you into a whole new batch of venues. You won't be headlining but with your strong image and crowd rapport you'll be telling everyone from the 16th of April not only that you've released a single but where to buy it.'

Calvin exchanged looks with Danny. 'I don't understand. Why would we tell them where to buy it?'

'Because,' Trudie said pulling a folder from a case, 'I have a list of the gigs you'll be doing and where the nearest record shops are to those venues.'

The lads each took a copy.

Calvin read the names of venues he'd heard of but never had luck securing gigs with. Each venue had up to five record shops listed beneath with addresses.

'Let me guess,' he said. 'These aren't just shops – these have Gallop dataports?'

'Ooh, clever lad,' Trudie said.

'But,' Danny said taking a moment, 'We've been told there's no point playing these sorts of games.'

Richard cut in. 'That's right and doing this won't make a dent on the Top-20.'

'We're not exactly being set up to fail here,' Trudie said. 'But Dave's too cautious to sign you without evidence that Little Spirit can sell records. That we've recorded this video is almost Dave's favour to me.'

'I almost feel we're being made fools of,' Calvin said with a sigh.

'No no, but he's expecting you to sell in small numbers. If that happens he can justify dropping you. But his expected small numbers shouldn't take much to double or triple. And that should be enough to tip his opinion in our favour.'

'So that's how we define doing well, yes?' Raphael said. 'Even though we don't chart, Dave will see bigger sales than forecast?'

'Spot on. Especially if we can rouse some press interest too,' Trudie said.

'Can we really do it?' Danny asked.

'Well, Richard's only recently informed me of your secret weapon.'

'Busking?'

'Exactly; though I'd preferred you'd not brought your instruments to this meeting.'

'Sorry but we've got to eat,' Calvin said.

'Of course. Anyway, I really believe this will make the difference especially as Easter's coming up. I hope you're up for the hard work, Richard and me are counting on you guys.'

'We'll do whatever we have to,' Danny said but felt despondent.

Trudie suggested they head up to the viewing room but Danny made no attempt to move even when Calvin clapped his hands together.

'Right, hang on,' Raphael said. 'Can ze three of us have a moment?'

'Okay but make it quick. We need to be up there before Dave; he likes to be last to arrive.'

Trudie told them to meet her by the lifts and once out of earshot Raphael said, 'I know how you two feel.'

Danny looked at him. 'You do?'

'Yeah. Trudie's talking like we're about to lose Vanquar and everything else too. But ze opposite is true. We're notching up ze pyramid still further. We've got everything we had and now a video regardless of whether Dave likes it or not.'

Danny nodded.

Calvin said, 'You're right. We should be looking forward to this and the better gigs and if nothing else we're making money busking which nobody can take from us.'

'That's ze spirit,' Raphael said.

'One little spirit,' Danny said. He meant it sarcastically but it didn't sound or feel that way. 'Let's hit the lift.'

As the doors shut so did Danny's eyes. His hands rested on his guitar case; the backdrops weighed heavy on his arm. Not normally given to praying he found himself asking someone somewhere for good fortune as the lift took off through the floors before halting abruptly.

Danny opened his eyes as the doors slid open.

A man who must have been in his forties despite his baby-face and tan stepped into the lift. 'Trudie. Great timing huh?'

'Hi,' Trudie managed before the grey suited man turned to the others.

Danny saw Trudie roll her eyes and knew she'd be cursing them.

'Little Spirit, amazing. I'm Dave Whitaker. I'm really looking forward to checking out your video. How you guys doing?'

Warnings sounded in Danny's mind. Trudie had painted Dave as an ogre. He recalled Richard's advice to ignore everything except the contract and hard cash.

The lift continued.

Deciding to play it cool Danny watched with Calvin, as Raphael set out to beat Dave at his own game.

Raphael not only shook hands but slapped the guy's shoulder and started singing the praises of Vanquar's previously signed Euro-beets before launching into anything else he might have found out about Vanquar and their most famous ever act, Elvis Presley.

Behind them Trudie looked petrified.

The lift doors opened and Dave headed out first. 'This way chaps. Come on Trudie.'

'Nice place you got here Dave,' Raphael said. 'Carpet's looking a bit old though. We'll replace that once Little Spirit records start shifting record.'

Danny felt Trudie's lips on his ear. 'Can't you shut him up?'

He shrugged helplessly.

Of Raphael's carpet comment Dave said, 'You guys are fantastic, no doubt about that but it's still early days.'

'Just as well. It's ze early bird that catches ze worm.'

'We'll see in a minute,' Dave said holding the door for Raphael and everyone else.

_Still gets to arrive last,_ Danny thought.

Inside Danny dumped his guitar and looked along the board table for a place to sit. Guessing the head seat would be Dave's, Danny went to warn Raphael; fortunately he moved on and sat beside Grace.

Six other people already occupied seats. Danny recognised the two that had accompanied Trudie recently but promptly forgot everyone's names upon introduction.

Trudie stood by a seat at the far end next to the video machine and Dave finally sat down. 'Okay Trudie take it away.'

'Right,' she said with a near stammer. Crossing the room she shut the blinds and lowered the lights. 'I think we should let the music speak for itself.'

She walked to a huge TV and pressed play on the video player.

Danny, like everyone else stared expectantly at the black screen where Raphael's boot suddenly appeared kicking the bass drum as the beat started. Next the crowd rushed to the stage and on each crack of the snare drum an image of a bikini-clad model flashed up. Then they flashed up on bass drum beats too.

The camera sucked away from the drums and Danny saw himself come into view legs astride as his rock-riff joined the drums. Sitting watching himself he couldn't help but grin. Des had made them seem godlike as Calvin appeared to play his bass fill.

Shots of the crowd's elation during the intro chorus made Little Spirit look as big a band as Duran Duran. Calvin's head disappeared off the top of the screen following a perfect launch from the springboard. The conspicuously named backdrops made sure everyone watching knew that the band tearing up the stage could only be Little Spirit.

Towards the end of the chorus the scene changed to that of a disco floor. The band stood next to their models, hands ready and clapped on the last beat. The screen flashed white and suddenly Danny saw himself singing verse one on a beach with Calvin and Raphael behind him.

In the room he and his bandmates watched the screen and each other laughing at the right times as did the rest of the board table members including Dave.

Danny sat back during the next chorus confident that Little Spirit's debut video could only be described as a triumph. Every face he could see beamed.

The dance floor set the scene for most of verse two. In the room Raphael grimaced at Grace who stuck her tongue out when, to the left of shot, she could be seen osculating with a boy who'd painted the arms of his shades in Little Spirit colours.

People had commented that the middle-8's chant reminded them of Queen's _Radio Ga Ga._ Little Spirit's crowd fervour made up for _Radio Ga Ga's_ handclap choreography as did the shots of their models' thighs.

By the final chorus Danny saw Dave punching the air to Raphael's drums and whooping.

At the end of the video Trudie turned the lights up.

Twelve faces looked at each other and to Dave who laughed. 'What can I say – I love it. You guys have given me a lot to think about.'

'I doubt it,' Raphael said.

Danny's heart appeared in his mouth. He glanced at Trudie whose smile died as she put her face in her hands.

Raphael went on. 'You saw those backdrops advertising our name?'

'Couldn't miss them,' Dave said.

'They're over there.' Raphael pointed to the stack of instruments. 'We use them when we busk and we're going to busk ze hell out of London. Signing us will be a really easy decision.'

Danny didn't know what to think as Dave's smile fell before saying, 'Is that a fact?'

'Oui.'

Dave faced Trudie. 'I tell you what, you know how to pick 'em don't you?'

Danny held his breath as Trudie regarded Dave through gaps in her fingers. Dave turned back to Raphael. 'Show me.'

'Now?'

'Yeah.'

Terrified but determined Danny snapped to attention. 'Alright lads. Instruments.'

He went to his guitar case feeling like he had done months earlier when trying to win Raphael's vote.

Trudie tried interjecting. 'I'm sure this isn't necessary.'

'No no,' Dave said showing a calming yet authoritative hand, 'I'd like to see this.'

Danny strapped his guitar round him as Trudie sank into her chair. He looked at Calvin and wondered if this had been a bad idea.

'What would you like to hear?' he asked Dave.

' _Only When it Saturday,'_ Dave said.

'Nah, we just had that. Choose something else,' Raphael said.

Danny watched Dave's face change as it became clear he didn't know any other Little Spirit songs. Fortunately one of Trudie's staff that had been to their shows said, ' _Come Around,_ that's a good one.'

'Excellent choice. It's rubbish acoustically so, Dave, this'll let you know things can only get better, yes?'

'Okay.' Dave gave Trudie a _what-the-hell_ gesture.

'In fact what'll really help is some hand clapping,' Raphael said clapping the tempo.

The table of people joined in whilst Danny tuned up. Raphael beat the rhythm on his djembe.

'You ready Calvin?' Danny asked.

He nodded and, with the slightest lift of the guitar necks they started.

Two seconds later the band marched around the board table before converging at the top for the singing.

Danny's voice felt ready for anything as it belted from his throat. Trudie smiled and at the end of the song the band wrapped up with a neat improvised ending.

'Dynamite. Simply incredible,' Dave said. 'You guys really behave like that in the street?'

'We do,' Calvin said.

'With your backdrops and Little Spirit T-shirts?'

'Of course.'

Dave looked at his watch then wagged a finger at Trudie. 'Well done.' He stood up. 'I've got to go but best of luck with the single lads. I mean that sincerely. We'll see how it does after a few weeks and meet before long.'

After Dave left, Trudie closed the door and opened the blinds.

Calvin detected a new level of pride emanating from Richard's wordless glance.

'Well,' Trudie said, 'I have to say that really didn't go as I'd planned.'

'I'm just so embarrassed,' Raphael said. Trudie stopped and everyone looked at him. 'I'm wearing ze same outfit I did in ze video.'

The loudest laughs came from the six Vanquar juniors.

'Okay, let's get back on track,' Trudie said. 'How great was that video?'

Without further encouragement the room burst into praise for the shoot, song, performance, Grace's role. Everything.

They watched the video again and after the fuss died down Trudie thanked her staff who returned to their work.

* * *

Grace made her way back to the GMD offices where the band agreed to convene after they busked the parks.

Perhaps following the excitement of the video and the impression they'd positively made on Dave Whitaker the band enjoyed their most fruitful day of busking since Christmas.

* * *

'Come in,' Richard said from his desk when Little Spirit later arrived. 'Thanks for popping round. I felt we should have a few minutes together.'

The band pulled up seats.

'Good news all round,' Richard said.

'Great, we like good news,' Calvin said.

'There's money coming to GMD from The USed Wonz' record sales. Now whilst that might not affect you directly it should encourage you. If they can do it you can.'

Calvin and the others agreed despite having come to think of The USed Wonz in a different light since seeing them live.

'On another note after you left, Trudie and I discussed how we felt the morning had gone. Raphael,' Richard said looking at him, 'Trudie was having kittens. She feels you well and truly overstepped the mark with Dave; slapping his shoulder and telling him how to do his job.'

'I'm sorry Richard, I like Trudie and honestly I liked what we saw of Dave.'

'He appears to be nice but he's a very important man, and he is Trudie's boss.'

Calvin stepped in. 'Richard's right, didn't you see how uncomfortable you were making her?'

'I know and I'm apologising. I suppose after our pre-meeting chat I felt ze worst outcome would be Dave forgetting having met us. Think about it, how can Dave sign us if he can't even remember who we are? After all isn't our aim is to ensure everyone who witnesses us remembers us?'

Richard smiled. 'Well there's no danger he'll forget. Personally I think you did an ideal job on him even if you did wander over the mark at times.'

'Thank you Richard.'

'But, now that you lot are stored in his memory turn it down next time okay?'

The band agreed.

'One last grumble; Trudie wasn't happy you told Dave about the busking.'

'I thought we did amazing. I mean full credit to Raphael for getting him to see that,' Danny said.

'I agree,' Richard said. 'Inspired indeed. But, Trudie didn't want him knowing about it.'

'Why?' Calvin asked.

'She was looking forward to surprising him with impressive record sales.'

'So, we sell records and say what – that we'd done it through gigs alone?'

'I'm not sure Calvin. It doesn't matter now.'

'Well I reckon we, I mean Raphael, did the right thing. Dave now knows he's dealing with a hard working band who don't wait for the public to come to them but take the music to the heart of where it's needed. I mean if this record sells well he might otherwise ditch us thinking it a fluke.'

'Calvin, I agree and I'm sure Trudie does on the whole but Dave now thinks you'll sell more records so goal posts have moved making it harder for us to sell double what he thinks we can. Anyway, just remember Trudie's a Little Spirit fan and is fighting to get you signed because she loves the music and because she believes in you. It's one thing to win Dave Whitaker over but don't upset the person holding the door open to him.'

'But by being memorable to Dave we're pulling in ze same direction any—'

'Will you let her know we've taken this point on board?' Calvin interjected.

'Will do,' Richard said. 'Apart from that, yes, today went extremely well. Of course we must stay focused on the contract and the money but I think you all played a part in moving that forward. And the video is spectacular even before considering the budget.'

'Even ze fake cymbals looked great.'

* * *

They left hauling their instruments outside.

On the steps Danny asked, 'Do we know how much money we made today?'

'Looks like a lot, why?' Calvin asked.

'D'you mind if we go somewhere and count it?'

The band stopped at the first café and spread the coins into three piles on table. After teas Raphael asked, 'Where to?'

'BHS. I want a duvet.'

## Sunday 15th April 1984

The two weeks following Little Spirit's meeting with Dave Whitaker passed in a blur of busked days and gigged nights. They told tens of thousands of Londoners of their upcoming single release from the streets and the gigs they had booked. The lads paid their rent and gave Proper Printing an order for more T-shirts, posters and flyers. They'd quit meeting and greeting people at the doors of the venues they played as the smaller venues generally reached capacity anyway.

Back home Danny fitted his duvet and left Amy studying in his room whenever she wanted. Determined to pass her exams she stopped only for food, exercise and meetings with Marlon.

* * *

On Sunday after the single had been released Little Spirit arrived at the first venue Trudie had booked. The Hope and Anchor had risen in notoriety years earlier when punk bands such as The Sex Pistols played there.

Now Little Spirit set up their equipment with respect to its heritage despite its modest hundred and fifty capacity.

'I wonder if we over did it with the posters?' Calvin asked.

'Maybe, if people get turned away,' Danny said.

As the gig had been booked late in the day Trudie had had to shoehorn the band into the middle of the running order. The band mentally prepared for their twenty minute set and memorised the addresses of local record shops with Gallop dataports.

Before the first support band took the stage a man found Danny and told him he couldn't let any more people in.

'You turning away Little Spirit supporters?' Danny asked.

'Afraid so. Looks like this is your night but fire regs being what they are.'

Danny called Calvin over who gave the man a bunch of flyers to pass to anyone he couldn't admit.

The first support band stood before the basement room's packed audience. Little Spirit watched from the back as the singer led his band. They got a decent cheer after their first song.

Being ironic he said, 'Thank you, are you lot here to see us?'

'Little Spirit,' came an unmistakable chant.

When Little Spirit took the stage their audience raised the roof. They played an encore repeating _Only When it's Saturday_ just to ram it home.

By the time they'd cleared the stage of their gear the floor had cleared of people leaving the headline band scratching their heads.

Out of decency Little Spirit stayed for their set. The singer thanked what remained of the audience and suggested they support Little Spirit next time.

## Monday 16th April 1984

The next morning Little Spirit drove to the GMD office.

Raphael led the way through the door that opens outwards. 'Morning Richard, wow, you got a carpet.'

'And some nicer chairs,' Richard said pointing.

'Last night's gig was interesting,' Raphael said as the band gathered round the desk on faux-leather chairs.

'How so?'

'Ze venue was quite small but got rammed. Ze manager had to turn people away.'

'Did anyone from the press approach you?'

'No, why?' Raphael looked at Calvin and Danny who both shook their heads.

'We're trying to generate interest is all.'

'The club emptied once we came off stage. Nobody from the press hung round,' Calvin said.

'Well, you're at The Electric Ballroom tonight. Given its size and, being a Monday nobody will get turned away.'

Richard pushed a piece of paper across his desk.

'What's this?' Calvin asked.

'Trudie's direct number and the list of designated record shops. Here's a bag of five pences for the phone.'

'What you thinking?' Danny asked.

'After our meeting with Dave Whitaker it seems, as Trudie predicted, that he does expect more records to sell. They're being delivered to the shops in greater numbers as we speak. If this nice weather holds we'd like you to busk outside each shop until it sells out of records. When that happens find a phone box, ring Trudie directly and move on to the next shop.'

'I like it,' Raphael said.

'It reminds me of orienteering,' Calvin said gaining strange looks. 'I was in the scouts.' Still he received strange looks.

'Don't mention that when Sounds Magazine catch up with you,' Richard said.

Thirty minutes later the band arrived on the narrow pavement outside the first record shop.

Calvin looked thoughtful. 'Do we know for certain they've got our record?'

'Richard says so,' Danny said.

'I'll check,' Calvin said making for the shop.

Danny waited with Raphael. A minute later Calvin reappeared. 'Right, it's in there but it's been lumped in with the general releases.'

'There's not a Little Spirit slot?' Raphael asked.

'No. I asked the girl behind the counter how many copies they'd got. Guess how many.'

'I'm not sure I want to think about this,' Danny said.

'Ten,' Calvin said. 'How were we ever going to chart selling just ten records per shop?'

With djembe hanging from shoulder ready to play Raphael said, 'Trudie will know how many records the shops have. All we've to do is sell these ten and move on to ze next shop. We know we're not going Top-20 but maybe Top-100 only requires ten sales per week.'

'Fair point,' Danny said. 'Let's get to it.'

On the bright Monday morning most people strode purposefully by but before long some record buyers appeared and some even took an interest in Little Spirit's performance. None of the band saw any of their regular fans or anyone from The Hope and Anchor.

'I've had an idea,' Danny said after a while.

'Any would be welcome,' Calvin said.

'We know what we want so let's sing it. Giz a new beat Raphael.' On top of a mid-tempo djembe rhythm Calvin played I, IV, V bass notes and Danny crunched out the chords singing, ' _We got a record deal, we got a single out today.'_ He repeated the line until the other two fitted harmonies to it. When their laughing subsided they sung louder. Chords changed and Danny sang how the public should check them out in the music shop.

Their better moods got people's attention. Coins started dropping into the guitar case and people began helping themselves to flyers. Calvin took a verse of the song singing that if anyone bought the single they'd sign it.

A minute later two girls stood before them each with a Little Spirit record. The band wrapped up the improvised song and Danny found a pen.

'There you go,' he said signing the light blue back of the black dust jacket.

'We'll sign a flyer too,' Raphael said.

Neither girl had previously heard of Little Spirit and didn't even care to hear them perform the song they'd just bought.

They worked hard and Danny's guitar case had collected money. Flyers had been taken and a member of staff came out the shop to advise them he'd just sold their last single.

* * *

They had three shops to visit that day. At half three they made their third call to Trudie. All three shops had sold out. They told her they'd do a bit of busking in Camden to drum up support for the night's show.

Later, after a meal of sandwiches at the GMD office, the band drove to Camden's Electric Ballroom. One of the other bands on the play list had heard of them and nobly said Little Spirit should be the headline act. Raphael silently agreed given how hard they'd just blitzed three pedestrian heavy vantage points. Surely some of those many flyers would result in people coming through the door.

Sure enough, when the time to play arrived the club couldn't manage any more punters, _So much for Monday being quiet,_ Raphael thought.

## Tuesday 17th April 1984

The next day the band slept long and ate well before heading into London. Richard, stunned that The Electric Ballroom had sold out, suggested the band should recharge their batteries and save their voices by limiting their busking to selling out the five record shops that day. That night's gig at Covent Garden's Rock Garden wouldn't take much to fill.

From the streets the band managed to empty all of the day's record shops of Little Spirit discs.

Richard took the band out for a restaurant meal near the office leaving Grace manning the phone.

'You're doing a tremendous job,' he said once the band had placed their orders with the waitress. 'You know I think Dave Whitaker will have to work quick. I don't want to rock the boat with Trudie but I've taken phone calls the past two days from interested parties at Polydor and Island.

'Really?' Raphael laughed, 'Island were first to reject us.'

'Are they wanting to sign us?' Calvin said.

'They're interested to know where you're at and because you've been doing so well I've had quite a bit to tell them. Don't be surprised if you don't start seeing a few more tan-coloured leather jackets around your gigs.'

'Great stuff.'

'I'm disappointed you've not had more press interest. Aside from that we're making bigger ripples on the back of this single launch than Dave Whitaker could have anticipated.'

Raphael said, 'You don't think he's gonna have to bid for us against another company do you?'

'That,' Richard said, 'is beyond what I dare dream.'

'Would be great though. All ze big labels that said there's no future for three piece rock outfits now battling to get hold of us.'

'Like I say I daren't dream that. Just keep doing what you're doing and we'll be fine.'

'Did you listen to the charts earlier?' Danny asked.

'I did but,' Richard said smiling, 'two days of record sales without a heavily funded promotion ...'

The band dined with Richard before collecting the van and driving to Covent Garden. Raphael banged on the venue's back door but turned seeing a brunette approached them.

'Little Spirit?' she asked.

'Oui,' Raphael said not wanting Danny getting ahead him.

'I'm afraid I'm awfully early but I've been disappointed the past two nights.'

'Oh my god, why?' Danny asked.

'Oh not with your performance,' she said apologetically. 'No, my name is Betty Mercer. I'm with Sounds.'

'Sounds, the magazine?' Calvin asked.

Raphael watched as Betty noticing Calvin for the first time turn doe-eyed. 'Yes,' she said viewing his biceps.

Exchanging glances with Danny, Raphael turned his nose up knowing he'd lost her to Calvin.

Once inside, Betty explained she'd shown up at The Hope and Anchor but been turned away. She'd probably have left Little Spirit for a week or two but had worked late on Monday and The Electric Ballroom lay on her path home. When she failed to get access there she knew Little Spirit must be a hotter ticket than she'd imagined so turned up so early in order to make absolutely sure she'd get the interview she now badly wanted.

A tape recorder appeared. The interview began and they discussed the record, the busking and the gigs. She said she'd stay for the show and take pictures.

Calvin left to phone Katherine, leaving Raphael backstage with Danny.

'Calvin pulled ze carpet right from my feet with Betty.'

'Poor girl won't get anywhere with him.'

'Shame for me too,' Raphael said without really meaning it. 'But it could be useful having someone in Sounds all gaga for one of use.'

'You mean like Grace at GMD? I used to think she fancied you.'

'I don't know. Maybe she did. Maybe she got over it. She didn't mind snogging that other lad on ze shoot.'

'Perhaps, but I have seen her look at you like Betty looked at Calvin.'

'You mean how you and Amy look at each other but never at ze same time.'

'I got it bad I don't mind telling you. But I'm not feeling anything much from her.'

'Sorry that it's taking more than just tidying your room.'

'She's in there all the time studying. Just need to get her from table to bed. Four foot, if that.'

'New curtains and a rug to cover that horrible carpet might help. I'm not surprised you tried hiding that under your clothes.'

'Good point. But I wonder what's stopping Amy taking a chance with me.'

'She's scared you'll kiss her or sleep with her then say it was a mistake. Her self-esteem might have risen but there's still an issue there.'

'I don't know mate, I'm sensing something else stopping her.'

'Whether there's an issue or not she won't stay on ze market long once she finishes her exams.'

## Wednesday 18th April 1984

Letters had flown between Katherine and Loretta but none ever confirmed whether Elaine's wedding chapel and venue payments had been finalised. With Amy studying so hard Katherine took the opportunity to work extra hard and save money believing she might have to fly to Saint Tropez before June to check.

* * *

The band's experience outside record shops had indicated hardly any record buying occurred until city workers past them on their way back from lunch.

Tactically the band slept late, hitting the streets around midday which also proved a more lucrative time to busk.

Soon the first three of the day's record shops had sold out of Little Spirit records.

En route to the fourth Raphael said, 'It seems to be getting easier.'

'We're getting good at this,' Calvin said.

Danny agreed. 'Raphael's right. Hardly a moment passes before we're phoning Trudie again.'

'Next shop should be round the corner,' Calvin said. 'I'll pop in. Maybe the record's selling on its own?'

The lads set up to play and Calvin left them. He pushed the shop's door open just in time to hear the last few bars of _Only When it's Saturday_ before another track started _._ Finding a dumpy teenage member of staff he said, 'You were just playing Little Spirit.'

'Were we?' the lad said with a sniff. He thought for a moment then said, 'Yeah, _Only When it's Saturday._ I forget the last track as soon as the next one starts. You after buying it?'

'Not me but could you tell me how many copies you've got?'

'I'll ask the manager.'

A lad around Raphael's age appeared. Calvin introduced himself and the manager said, 'We received a lot of disks considering you're an unknown band. Surprisingly, they're selling.' He checked the shelf. 'We're down to our last four and there's no more in storage. What's going on?'

'I thought you might know. I mean we sold out The Rock Garden last night.'

'Promising, but you won't have a video.'

'We do actually.'

'We're getting screens fitted over the weekend. Tell whoever's representing you at,' the manager looked at the back of the jacket, 'Vanquar to get it to us and that'll give you a helping hand.'

'That'd be brilliant,' Calvin said. 'We're gonna busk nearby now so those last four records should shift soon.'

'I'll take them and pass them round the office,' a female voice said.

Calvin looked round. 'Hey Betty good to see you. Aren't you supposed to be working?'

'I am, I've written an article for Sounds about you today. It just needs the last section.'

'Oh?'

'Busking. I saw the other two down the street. Are you playing?'

'Normally we move on the when a shop runs out of records but, because it's you ...'

'Aw, thank you gorgeous. I've trekked round all the shops you mentioned at last night's gigs.'

## Saturday 21st April 1984

On Saturday morning, Easter weekend Little Spirit arrived in London trusting weekend shoppers would buy records earlier and be more generous with their change.

The previous night Little Spirit has sold out Herne Hill's Half Moon pub. Delighted with their performance the management, supporting the band's quest, let Raphael park the van in their car park.

Little Spirit, all avid readers of Sounds, had hoped Betty's article would make that day's issue. They found their first record shop and Calvin ran in to check for copies of the single, and whether they had video screens.

He came back to find Danny and Raphael had visited a newsagent and each had copies of Sounds.

'Here's yours,' Danny said without taking his eyes off his opened copy.

Opening the magazine Calvin found the page now mesmerising the others. He saw a full spread dedicated to: _The Dedication of Little Spirit._

Raphael said, 'People across ze entire country will already be learning our name.'

Calvin tried concentrating on the page but Raphael couldn't keep quiet. 'Mate she's painted you as ze band hero,' he said of Calvin. 'Ze photos are predominantly you. She's done a great job though. We can't afford to get on the wrong side of her. You'll have to take one for ze team mate.'

'What you on about?' Calvin said.

'Sleep with her; keep her interested and onside.'

'No chance. I'm not risking that. You do it.'

'Moi? I'm not muscly like you.'

'Raphael's right. She took one look at you at that was it,' Danny said.

'Oh God I hope this isn't going to be a problem,' Calvin said. 'Anyway we need to get performing the fella in the shop says loads of copies came in yesterday and shoppers have already enquired about us today.

* * *

Having risen in her own time Katherine broke from getting ready for work when the phone rang.

'Hi darling,' she said hearing Calvin's voice, 'I didn't expect to hear from you until later.'

'Babe, we're in Sounds – a whole page,' he enthused.

'Great news.'

'It is but the others are winding me up saying Betty, who wrote the article, fancies me.'

'Really?' She heard her voice downturn.

'Er ...'

'I've got to go but that's really good news – about the article I mean. I'll buy a copy on my way to work.'

'I love you Katherine.'

'You do, I know. Me too. Amy's blowing hot and cold about tonight but if Grace is coming I'll see you at the gig.'

* * *

Despite more copies of the record appearing in the shops Little Spirit managed to sing plenty of customers through the doors.

Raphael rang GMD.

'We sold out all ze record shops on today's list,' he said when Grace picked up. 'We're heading to Camden Lock to promote tonight's gig. Have you seen Sounds today?'

'Of course, got it here. Great news. Sounds like someone's a Calvin fan though.'

'Tell me about it, is Richard there?'

'No, he got _Only When it's Saturday_ recorded to cartridge and is on board a ship.'

'What?'

'I'm not sure. He left in a bit of a hurry. Phone's been going mad all day. Smash Hits are on the guest list for tonight so be ready for an interview with them. There's been some other interesting calls recently but I'll let Richard tell you about them.'

'Oh, okay. All good I hope.'

'All good. I got to get the other phone, I'll see you tonight.'

Raphael rang off and joined the two lads outside the first of Monday's record shops.

Calvin said, 'Might as well sell out Monday's shops now.'

'Good thinking,' Raphael said and considered that after the weekend the next delivery would be bigger than otherwise. 'Like to make things difficult for ourselves don't we?'

'The hard work will pay off,' Danny said.

* * *

Amy had hardly broken from study all day. Her eyes hurt and she needed a break when Katherine knocked on Danny's door.

'I'm getting ready soon. Won't you come too – isn't it time you closed the books?' Katherine sat on Danny's new sheets.

Amy turned the chair to face her. 'Study isn't the only problem. I'm supposed to be seeing Marlon tonight. I only said I might come with you because that's what I'd rather do.'

'You don't want to bring him along?'

'No.'

'Not ready for that yet?'

'Not sure I ever will.'

'What's wrong?' Katherine said.

'I don't know but something is. He says he loves me but I don't want him to. He's written songs about me but I hate them.'

'Do you love him – at all?'

'A few weeks ago I thought I might be falling but now I know I'm not.'

'What's wrong with him?'

'Other than his songs?'

'Are they so bad you'd want to end the relationship?'

'There's something else.' Amy looked down. 'He's possessive. He thinks I'm his.'

Katherine shook her head. 'I can't deny I want you to come with me tonight but apart from that you sound unhappy.'

'Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't know where to begin ditching him. I don't want to hurt his feelings. He says I'm his inspiration. He's even auditioned for a band today.'

'These things are never easy; unless you're head's screwed having taken a morning after pill,' Katherine said thinking again of Saint Tropez. 'You ever break up with anyone before?'

'No, I've been dumped though; it sucks. Marlon's the first person I've slept with more than once.'

'Okay,' Katherine said hiding her surprise, 'if you end it you've got to realise that he'll eventually meet someone else. Before long all those special things you did he'll be doing with some other girl. How would you feel about that?'

Amy thought a moment. 'I'm not bothered.'

'Oh dear Amy.'

'I don't want him do I?'

Katherine checked her watch. 'If he's home, go and see him and no matter what stick to your decision.'

'You're right. I'll go now,' Amy said realising she'd only hurt him more in the long run.

* * *

Amy jumped on the first bus south along Chingford Mount Road. She composed a speech as best she could. A few stops later she got off the bus and jogged through the side streets. She saw Marlon's bike in the backyard. Round the front she fussed with her hair and rang the bell. Only in overcoming the urge to run away did she realised she'd passed the point of no return. She heard him thumping his way downstairs.

'Amy, what a surprise. I wasn't expecting you for an hour at least. Come in.'

'It's alright it's a flying visit.'

'Okay,' Marlon said propping himself against the doorframe.

She caught him giving her the once over; she'd not made much of an effort. 'How did the audition go?'

'Really well, I reckon I'm in. The guys ...'

Amy tuned out waiting for him to finish. When he did she waffled about liking him but that she wanted to end their relationship. Marlon's face fell.

In a whisper he said, 'Please don't do this to me here. Come in.'

Marlon didn't wait for her answer but stepped inside. Amy crossed the threshold, shut the door and immediately regretting doing so.

Katherine had told her to stick to her guns. She wanted to do that on the dammed step.

She followed Marlon into his kitchen where he picked up his half-finished mug of tea. Behind him the cooker had pans presumably of vegetables ready to boil. The oven smelt of roasting chicken.

She noticed Marlon's knuckles whitening. Looking up she saw his face full of pain twisting into rage.

'This was a mistake,' she said. She turned her back and faced the door.

Before Marlon could yell at her not to move the wind of his mug flying past her ear smashed into the doorframe she wanted so badly to walk through. It shattered spreading tea in slow motion up the walls and into the corridor.

She faced him but didn't remember turning round. She heard noise that didn't sound like shouting despite that being the only possible sound.

Then she found herself running towards the main road. She must have escaped but how? Her right hand clutched her left wrist. It hurt. Had he done it? He had. He'd grabbed and tugged her but had let go and kicked the cupboard under the sink. That must be when she escaped.

'Hold the bus,' she shouted as Chingford Mount Road came into focus. On the other side of the road a worried looking passenger boarded a bus and nodded.

Horns blared as Amy ran across both lanes almost colliding with the side of one car or another.

* * *

That evening the band set up in Dingwalls lockside venue. They hadn't had five minutes to themselves before a lady burst through the door in a white _Frankie Says Relax_ T-shirt with the neck cut out and visible black bra straps.

'Hey you guys are hot,' she said as a lad carrying an SLR camera and spare lenses followed her.

Danny didn't feel like hot stuff, he felt hot having spent the day grafting the streets.

'I'm Mandy from Smash Hits. Your manager gave us the go ahead for an interview? We saw the article in Sounds and had to track you down immediately.'

'One thing leads to ze next,' Raphael said to the band more than to her.

'I thought you guys only dealt with Top20 acts,' Calvin said.

'That's right, normally,' she said, 'But, here we are and where's The NME?'

'NME, have you seen the bands they praise and the bands they slate?' Danny said. 'They'd despise us. The longer they stay away the better.'

'They do have their favourites, true. But anyway, we'll feature new bands if the story's interesting enough. Would you believe my boss said your single may not be a smash hit yet but it's smashing alright?'

'As long as people like it,' Raphael said taking a drink.

'Is that orange juice?'

'Of course,' Raphael said with rehearsed practice. 'We want to be razor sharp on stage. That's tough after performing the streets all day.'

'I bet. Tell me about that; who sees you when you're busking?'

Danny answered. 'It used to be just passers-by but with experience we started pulling crowds. Now we've people approaching us who recognise us from gigs like this.'

'Apart from a living how else does busking benefit you?' Mandy asked not wasting time.

'It started in order to advertise our electric gigs but essentially it's the single's marketing campaign. From stage gigs we announce the next day's busking locations all of which are near record shops. Now everything we do promotes the next thing.'

'You work this hard but Vanquar have only signed you for one single?'

'Right,' Calvin said.

'Insane. Why?'

Raphael jumped from the door as Richard strolled into the dressing room. 'Evening chaps mind if I take this one?'

'Go for it,' Calvin said.

Introducing himself Richard said, 'Vanquar are looking to sign Little Spirit for the album but they want to see that we can sell singles on our own first. Thing is whether we chart or not we've proved we can sell singles so now we've got interest from Chrysalis and WEA who reckon these guys are The Who for the next generation.'

'That's quite a statement given The Who were and indeed still are an exceptional live band. Little Spirit aren't even the headline act here. Can you justify that statement for the readers?'

'You think it's surprising Little Spirit are a support act?'

'Well, yes, that's what I'm suggesting.'

'Come and find me after they've played and we'll talk again. You'll see just how surprising it is.'

'I'll certainly do that,' Mandy said.

'This band's got its foot to the floor, momentum is building and the pressure they've been applying through gigging and busking is starting to pay off.'

'Well I've heard the single, which I love, I've met you and found you all very decent and extremely well styled. I can't wait to see you on stage.'

They thanked her and she followed her photographer swishing blonde hair and dark roots.

As if she'd never been in the room Richard said, 'Grace told you about Laser558?'

'Don't think so,' Raphael said. 'She mentioned a ship?'

'That's it. It'll be sailing into the North Sea; a pirate radio station that'll constantly stream UK hits including _Only When it's Saturday_. I'm mates with the station's founder. He reckons Laser558 will take millions of listeners from all these DJ babbling radio stations.'

'Sounds amazing,' Danny said.

'Well, for legal reasons the DJs are American but listeners will never be more than a minute from the music.'

Raphael said, 'Another fantastic avenue. So what about Chrysalis and ... ?'

'WEA – the guys who stole Howard Jones from under Vanquar's nose. They saw you play The Electric Ballroom and Chrysalis' delivery rep saw you busking outside Our Price. When he went in you guys were on the video screens too so he reported back to base and someone checked up via me.'

'So hang on a minute,' Calvin said. 'Wasn't it a bit risky for Dave to sign us only for one single? Mandy's right it is sounding insane.'

'Yeah, surely labels will bid for us now,' Raphael said.

'Slow down. It wasn't risky for Dave. It's only become risky since we've pushed the single ourselves so hard. Remember no other record companies are bidding; they're expressing interest and that should help Dave make his mind up. But remember what I said, don't believe the hype. That bottle blonde just told you she loves the record; we'll see if that's true when Smash Hits next comes out.'

Not to be dissuaded Raphael eventually left the dressing room with Calvin and found Katherine and Grace with Amy.

'Amy, you made it?' Raphael said.

'Looks like it.'

Raphael found her response offhand until she opened her arms for a hug and didn't let go.

'You okay?' he said into her ear.

'Yes thank you.'

'Study going well?'

'Very well.'

Grace said, 'Everything's getting going now isn't it?'

'Your uncle's still not convinced,' Calvin said. 'We've just been interviewed by Mandy from Smash Hits. Richard made everything sound brilliant until she left. Now we're not sure.'

'Things are looking good, trust me,' Grace said.

'Did Mandy fancy you?' Katherine asked.

Calvin watched her face before answering telling her Mandy had described them all as hot. When she grinned Calvin said, 'I'm sorry Katherine. I don't suppose we'll see Betty from Sounds again anyway.'

'It's alright. I'd be daft to think that all three of you won't become objects of desire.'

'Well you styled us. Anyway, I've known you for nine months and almost everyone, looks at you with longing.'

'Getting a dose of my own medicine now. It does feel strange though.'

'Jealous, insecure?'

'I would say honoured but I couldn't feel any more privileged than I already do.' Katherine hugged her lover. 'John should be here before long.'

'Haven't seen him for ages,' Raphael said joining in. Looking around he said, 'Guys, Betty's over there.'

Calvin looked where Raphael had pointed and saw Betty with another boy and girl.

'Call them over,' Katherine said, 'but don't tell them I'm your girlfriend.'

With a wave Betty dashed over.

Even Calvin couldn't have missed her tone dripping with sweet flirtation. At that moment though Danny and Richard appeared as did John.

'Big venue this one,' John said.

'Five hundred,' Raphael said turning from Calvin and Betty. 'You missed us at The Marquee – that was bigger.'

'Katherine told me. Night before the video shoot right?'

'Hmm,' Raphael said remembering just how long of a night it ended up being. John had a twinkle in his eye that suggested he might have known too.

Minutes later Little Spirit headed off to prepare. Katherine bought Betty a drink and led the conversation until Betty asked, 'Are you Calvin's girlfriend?'

Katherine sipped her dry white. 'Yeah.'

'And you live together?'

'Live and love. Hey,' Katherine said as if she'd just been struck by an idea. Looking Betty up and down she said, 'you should join us. Calvin would love that and I really would.'

'You mean . . ?' Betty stepped away.

'Yeah, it'd be fab.'

'Oh, I don't think so.'

'Why not?' Katherine asked trying to appear more disappointed than glad.

Amy overheard Betty's list of reasons not to go ahead. Putting the urge to laugh aside Amy sidled up to Katherine and kissed her cheek.

Katherine smiled and said to Betty, 'Can't you think of a better excuse not to join us?'

'Better than what?' Betty look flustered. 'I just don't want to join you and your boyfriend in bed, isn't that enough?'

'Not everyone's as weird as you Katherine,' Amy said.

Betty pulled a face and said, 'It was nice meeting you. If it's alright I'll join my friends.'

Once the capacity crowd had engulfed Betty, Amy said with a hoot, 'What were you doing?'

'Scaring her off – nicely. I realise how important she could be to the band so I couldn't be rude.'

'Not that sort of rude. What if she'd been up for it?'

'Then I'd have said it wasn't possible tonight and it'd become one of those things that never happens.'

'Are you girls quite finished?' John asked.

'It feels like ages since I've seen you. What have you been up to – like I need to ask?' Katherine asked. When John floundered Katherine smiled. 'It's okay, I know you've been spending time with my mum; my gran told me.'

'Oh?' John said. Katherine tensed detecting the note of surprise in his voice.

'So – what's been going on with you two? You've not got married have you?'

'No,' John said sounding relieved. 'Barbara's lovely but there's no future for us.'

'I might be sorry to hear that you looked good together.'

'You've changed your tune lady.'

'Maybe, so what's the crack?'

'Crack? No crack.'

'You must have been somewhere my mum's been missing a fortnight.'

'Well—'

'You took her to Saint Tropez didn't you?'

'Err, yeah, we stopped by.'

'Did she sleep on your boat?'

'Separate beds ...' John's voice trailed off into a mumble.

'Sorry, what was that last bit?'

'Nothing.'

'Did you just say, separate beds except one night?'

'Two actually – to be sure we weren't right for each other you understand. Barbara went down very well there.'

'That's nice to know. Hey, John I'm worried about the chapel and venue. Has everything been finalised? I should be over there to see these things through.'

John still didn't look relaxed. 'Yeah, it's all good I'm sure.'

'Right, so the people at Château Hôtel de la Messardière – have been paid in full?'

'Yeah, it's fine.'

'How do you know? Have you spoken to Elaine – has she told you?'

John looked even less comfortable. 'Well ... look don't worry. I know that everything's fine. Loretta's coming to England next week. Of course you probably know that already.'

'Umm,' Katherine said and forced a smile. None of Loretta's letters had mentioned coming to England. 'Way to change the conversation John.'

'Ah, Katherine,' Richard's voice said.

Katherine turned to see Richard with Trudie and another man.

Trudie introduced Katherine to the fresh faced man. 'Dave, this is Katherine. She's responsible for Little Spirit's image.'

'Really? Dave Whitaker, Vanquar, delighted to meet you. You've done an exceptional job with those lads.'

Taken aback Katherine thanked him and as she turned to John that she might introduce him she heard Trudie tell Dave about her relationship with Calvin as if warning him not to come onto her.

'I know,' Dave said in a singsong voice. 'They're a very well styled band is all.'

'Here we go,' Grace said when the lights over the stage went down.

'Wow, would you listen to that,' John shouted over the uproar.

'Impressive,' Dave said. 'Very impressive.'

'We're Little Spirit,' came Danny's voice over the intro music and the crowd got louder.

'First band didn't get that,' John said.

'Last band won't either,' Grace said.

Sure enough thirty minutes later, after Little Spirit played their encore the five hundred strong crowd dwindled by half.

'That's bad for the last band,' John said. 'They should've put Little Spirit on last. At least that way they'd keep the punters in the venue and take more bar money.'

'Ever the businessman,' Katherine said before a girl with a press badge and photographer approached.

'It's the Smash Hits lady,' Grace said.

'Where did everyone go?' Mandy asked Richard.

'That's the point. It's amazing Little Spirit are the support band isn't it?'

'Right. It's a very long time since I've seen such a new band have that effect on an audience.'

'I bet,' Richard said. 'Mandy, this is Dave Whitaker from Vanquar.'

'Yeah?' Mandy said looking him over. 'Well Dave if you don't sign that band someone else will after Smash Hits comes out on Thursday.'

Katherine watched Dave gawp, turn to Richard and say, 'Did you pay her to say that?'

'No he didn't,' Mandy snapped. 'It's what I write that counts anyway and I've already decided that.'

Katherine chuckled but stopped when Mandy spotted her before leaving. With a curious look in her eye the journalist approached her. 'Are you part of this group?'

'I am.'

'Well you're beautiful. You should call me.'

Mandy walked away and Katherine looked up to see Dave who hadn't stopped gawping say, 'You gonna call her?'

Before Katherine could think of a suitable answer Amy said, 'You've just equalised; you and Calvin both pulled a music journalist.'

## Sunday 22nd April 1984

The next morning Amy woke early and dressed in track suit bottoms and a jumper with sleeves long enough to hide the bruise Marlon had given her. The events in his kitchen had come back to her and she felt grateful that she'd ended the relationship when she had and also appreciated that it could have been far worse. She wondered if she'd always suspected Marlon could turn in the way he had.

Initially she'd refrained from giving him any of the flat's details to protect Danny's feelings but perhaps instinct had been warning her. Her knight in shining armour might now be as much a tyrant as the two idiots he'd saved her from. She feared things might not yet be over; Marlon didn't seem like the type to give up so soon.

At least she'd be able to start shopping at her old grocers again. Hopefully Marlon's new band wouldn't turn up to play Katherine's pub.

Leaving her room she paused outside Calvin's door and heard Katherine gushing softly. She imagined Calvin had just presented her an Easter egg and wondered if she should have gone to her parents' over the holiday period.

Thoughts of Danny took over. His door stood half open. Puzzled, Amy approached, tapped and put her head into the room where, on the desk, her books stood all orderly awaiting her attention. She saw a neat bed but couldn't see Danny.

She found him in the living room reading. 'Morning,' he whispered and nodded towards Raphael.

'Oh, morning,' Amy said seeing Raphael doubled up on the settee sleeping. 'He looks uncomfortable. What you reading?'

'The Crowd. Raphael mentioned it months ago. I found an English translation. All your study's inspired me to read too. It's fascinating. I got up so you could use my room when you're ready.'

Amy looked at the man she'd fancied for so long but wondered what she'd done to deserve such kindness. He closed his book. 'Make a start if you want I'll bring you breakfast.'

'Are you sure?'

'Of course, pleasure.'

* * *

Amy sat at Danny's bedroom table.

'Brought you breakfast,' Danny said coming in with a tray and putting next to her. 'I'll leave you to it.'

But Amy said she wanted him to stay. He looked pleased.

'Actually ...,' he said making for his wardrobe.

He handed her a carrier bag.

'What is it?' she asked.

'Look inside.'

Amy opened the bag and pulled out a Quality Street Easter egg. 'Oh, thank you Danny, that's so thoughtful.'

'Really? I wasn't so sure. You've worked so hard exercising but then I figured maybe I could help run off the calories with you.'

'I'd like that. You can help me eat it too.' She looked at the soldier and lady pictured on the box. 'Not exactly a knight in shining armour is he?'

'No? He's going off to battle against Napoleon.'

'Is he?'

'Yeah. But she'll wait for him. He'll be back in ten years. Love finds a way eventually. Anyway, don't study too hard.'

'Danny,' Amy said. He turned back. 'You're so kind.'

'You deserve it.'

'I'm not sure I do,' Amy said remembering all the times she could have been nicer.

'Nasty bruise,' Danny said touching her wrist.

* * *

Later Katherine got up and phoned her mum. Edward answered but Barbara came to the phone. Katherine wasted no time in asking her where she'd been. Yes she'd been to Saint Tropez with John and Italy too.

'But you're not an item,' Katherine said.

'No, but—'

'So why is he taking you to France and Italy?'

'If you'd let me finish, he's a nice guy and we get on.'

'Well anyway. I'm concerned about Elaine's wedding. No one's giving me a straight answer. Did you meet Elaine?'

'She's lovely yes. And Gareth, he's very handsome.'

'Great but, I want to know that the booking for the Château Hôtel de la Messardière is confirmed and paid in full.'

'Everything's fine love.'

'That's what people keep telling me but no one's telling me for certain. Did you meet Loretta?'

'The half Asian lady?'

'Right, did she mention that she'd look me up when she came to England?'

'She mentioned England, yes.'

'But not me.'

'She spoke of you.'

'Right I'm getting a flight out there.'

'No.'

'What?'

'I mean, I'm certain everything's fine. I'm not sure if Loretta will be anywhere near London so maybe that's why she's not mentioned it.'

'Hmm. Well I'll write to her now and if I don't like what I hear I'm flying out there. I couldn't bear for anything to go wrong with this wedding on my account.'

Katherine rang off and wrote a letter voicing her concerns and demanded that Loretta call when she landed in England.

## Thursday 26th April 1984

Thursday morning Calvin left his room and headed to the bathroom.

'She did it,' Raphael said bumping into him on the landing.

'Mate?'

'Mandy from Smash Hits. She's written a brilliant article. Ze pictures look great and ze last thing she's written is a reminder, "to Dave at Vanquar, Sign this band QUICK." How decent is that?'

Next to Calvin, Danny's door came open. 'What's going on?'

'I've been out already and bought Smash Hits,' Raphael said.

'Cool.' Danny took one of three copies Raphael had bought and flicked through the pages.

'So what have we here?' Danny found the article and read, _'"Is this the hardest working band in the UK?"_ Hey, I like that. We've got to chart next week. We've four shopping days before the next chart if we busk and gig every day including this Sunday. It's a lot of hard work but we can take a week off after that if necessary.'

'I'm in,' Calvin said.

'Me too,' Raphael said. 'With this article plus ze odd people who won't have read last week's Sounds and Laser558 going live any minute it's not impossible we'll sneak Top-40.'

'If that happens there's a chance we'll get played on Radio1 on Sunday if not Tuesday,' Calvin said.

'Yeah, if they get a copy of the single,' Danny said.

'I wonder if Richard or Trudie could get ze record to them?'

'They're not radio pluggers but they know pluggers.'

'I suppose we've been very fortunate,' Raphael said, 'but a little more good fortune wouldn't go a miss.'

'Tell me about it,' Danny said. 'Let's hit the streets. I'll ring Richard first.'

* * *

Richard informed Danny Radio1 already had a copy of the single. He said to keep in touch all day. Wherever they played he wanted to know.

An hour later the band stepped off the tube into near tropical heat. Raphael found a callbox and dialled. 'We're in Leicester Square near Ze Odeon.'

'Perfect,' Richard said. 'If you leave I want to know.'

'Got it. What's ze big deal?'

'You'll see, I hope. Anyway Trudie's been on to distribution. I doubt you'll sell out they're sending loads more records into the shops. Oh, and I've just cancelled your Tuesday gig.'

'Why?'

'Just a precaution,' Richard said but wouldn't elaborate other than to say, 'That bugger Whitaker better make sure his head's screwed on by Wednesday when we meet him.'

Raphael reached Danny a moment before Calvin who confirmed the two record shops nearby had received bucket loads of records.

'Okay,' Danny said. 'Here we go again.'

He strummed chords and waited for the others to strap their instruments on. 'My voice feels tired.'

'Mine too,' Calvin said. 'Feels like we've been singing nonstop for months.'

After a couple of songs Danny's voice warmed and he started enjoying the freedom the paved expanse gave them. He could hear Calvin's voice strongly and with everyone performing well crowds soon gathered.

'Good morning to you all,' Danny said after they'd played _I Can't Wish._ 'We're Little Spirit and we featured in last week's Sounds and today's Smash Hits.'

That got people's interest and a couple of voices shouted up that they'd seen them in whichever magazine.

'D'you want to hear ze single?' Raphael shouted. When a decent number of voices shouted yes Raphael said, 'Well you'll get it after _Come Around._ '

Any disappointment soon gave way as the song's nature appealed to most who'd gathered in close. Before it ended Danny spotted a van pulling into the square. After singing the final verse he turned from the crowd to Calvin and Raphael and said, 'We're being filmed.'

Three people approached them. The lady stepped towards Danny and said, 'Hi no doubt about who you are. I'm Tia Jenkinson Thames News.'

'We know who you are,' Raphael said. Looking at Calvin he pointed to Tia and said, 'Famous lady.'

'This will be why our manager wanted to know our whereabouts,' Calvin said.

'Could be,' she smiled. 'We'd like to do a report on you if that's okay?'

Danny who hadn't said anything suddenly found himself unable to speak when Tia looked at him.'

'Great,' Raphael said on his behalf. 'What would you like to know?'

'Have you read about us in Smash Hits?' Calvin asked Tia.

'No. We read about you in Sounds.'

Danny not wanting to be excluded grabbed Smash Hits from his guitar case.

'Here,' he said passing her the opened magazine.

Taking it she said, 'Suggests you're the hardest working band in the UK.'

Wearing an impressed expression she turned to her two colleagues busying themselves setting up the camera.

One guy nodded back and told her they could proceed. Tia fluffed her hair and flipped a vanity mirror open. Danny watched wishing he could have chance to check his image.

'Ooh, could we just borrow that?' Raphael asked.

'Sure,' she said and Raphael shot Danny a cheeky grin accepting it.

'Ready,' Raphael said when all three lads had manipulated their hair.

A cameraman nodded to Tia who said, 'I'm here in Leicester Square with the band Smash Hits this week advocate could be the hardest working band in the country.' She turned to them. 'Little Spirit – hello to you.'

They introduced themselves and Raphael talked about his djembe and earning a crust before Danny finding his tongue took the lead.

'We're getting well known for our live street performances. You can see that by the crowd here today.' Danny gave a wave and received a cheer back though felt somewhat fraudulent given that half of them had appeared at the sight of TV cameras. 'But I have to stress that we are a live electric band first and foremost. The single, _Only When it's Saturday_ features electric guitars and drums.'

They told Tia all about selling out gigs and where they'd be that night. She asked how they'd arrived at their style and Calvin told her about Katherine. Tia asked to hear them perform the single.

Raphael said, 'We'll play it for you on condition you come and see us at Ze Marquee tomorrow night.' She laughed and said she'd see.

Danny readied himself to play but both Raphael and Calvin folded their arms until she agreed she'd be there.

With Calvin and Raphael willing to play Danny said, 'Thanks for sticking around. We said we'd play the single after _Come Around._ Here it is, _Only When it's Saturday.'_

Tia stood behind camera whilst the cameramen shot the entire song. Afterwards Tia thanked them and confirmed she'd be at The Marquee. They played the next song and the cameramen filmed Tia signing off with them in the background.

* * *

In her room Katherine put a Stella lager T-shirt on readying herself for work and rolled a mascara brush across her lashes when the phone rang. Putting the brush down she went to the landing and answered the call.

'Hiya Katherine,' a chirpy voice said.

'Loretta, hi, are you in England?

'Heathrow, yes. I got your letter this morning. You sounded desperate.'

'Did I?'

'A bit. Let me tell you the wedding's in hand. What's got you so worked up?'

'I don't know,' Katherine said no longer knowing what had worried her. 'I just want to hear someone say that the venue has been paid for. Everyone seems to avoid telling me. Why didn't you tell me you were coming to England, I heard it from John?'

'I thought I had told you. Sorry. And don't worry Château Hôtel de la Messardière is all taken care of.'

'Oh thank God. So will I get to see you?'

'Yeah, I want to see this band John won't shut up about and meet the bass player. I'm here for two weeks then I'll be back to help out with the wedding.'

## Tuesday 01st May 1984

The band generally had little time for TV and even missed Tia's broadcast. Richard taped it but as the flat had no video player only Raphael would be able to see it when next visiting his parents. Richard described how Thames News had played an edited version of the interview and part of their performance. In the studio after the VT Drew Bush had asked Tia whether she'd be attending The Marquee the following night.

* * *

On Friday Tia stepped onto The Marquee's stage and introduced Little Spirit.

Dave Whitaker managed to squeeze into the club. He'd have been refused entry given the number of people being turned away had he not been on the guest list.

The following Monday night the band relaxed enjoying their first night off in weeks. Raphael had suggested nightly meditative relaxing focusing on the larynx to counter the stress of constant singing. Each band member had been practicing this and had found it an effective way of keeping the voice fit. Nevertheless they had busked that day and sitting in the living room sipping tea Danny felt his throat aching. 'I know we're penned as the hardest working band in the UK but at this rate we'll be the deadest.'

'I know what you mean. I wanted to spend ze night at home in my own bed.'

'You could've done if only we knew what Richard's cooking up for us tomorrow,' Calvin said.

With Amy locked away studying, Katherine joined them after her shift.

Calvin made room on the settee for her. 'How was work?'

'I got through it.'

'You sound like I did working at the printers.'

'It's just getting a bit samey,' she said snuggling into his arms. 'D'you find out why tomorrow's gig's been cancelled yet?'

'No. It could be Vanquar it could be something else.'

'Maybe one of the other record companies?'

'Doubtful. Island and Polydor haven't come back so far as Richard's led us to believe. EMI have been in touch as has CBS but Richard told them to make their offers by tomorrow lunchtime or we're going with Vanquar.'

'Even though you don't know if you are?'

'Correct. We'll be there twenty-four hours after the charts are announced so we'll know where we are in the Top-100. Might make a difference.'

'Maybe Dave's already decided?'

'That's what worries me,' Danny said.

Raphael pulled a face. 'That's what excites me.'

'Roll on Wednesday,' Calvin said.

Katherine didn't believe Raphael's positivity this time. She excused herself from the atmosphere that had just become tense.

'Right behind you,' Calvin said. 'I fancy an early night.'

* * *

On Tuesday morning the telephone rang. Raphael rolled off the settee, stretched his back and went to the landing.

'Raphael?' a voice barked.

'Morning Richard.'

'You got a pen?'

He found one and some white space within a Melody Maker advert.

When Richard hung up Raphael banged on Calvin and Danny's doors and shouted, 'We need to get to Manchester by 4pm.'

Calvin's door opened first. 'What?'

'Tuesday's assignment, we're on Ze Whistle Test tonight but we need to be there by 4pm.'

Danny's door opened. 'How long does it take to get there?'

'Richard thinks four hours in ze van.'

'Couldn't he have told us sooner?'

'We were on ze reserve list. You know how he doesn't like to get our hopes up.'

'I wonder who's hosting it tonight. Not Randy Earnshaw I hope.'

'He likes his guitary pop doesn't he?'

'I don't think he'd like us and he's cheeky,' Danny said.

'Well if he's cheeky with me he'll get it right back,' Calvin said.

Danny looked at his alarm clock. 'If we get ready and leave now we should be there before half two.'

'What's all the noise?' Amy asked sulkily emerging from her room in a sloppy oversized T-shirt.

'Morning gorgeous,' Danny said. 'We're on The Whistle Test tonight.'

'Congratulations,' she said but didn't seem to have woken up and ignored the mumbles Danny sent after her.

The lads breakfasted, showered and changed inside of thirty minutes.

Amy apologised for being grumpy and blamed her upcoming exams.

Calvin cleared the van of empty Coke cans and Wimpey wrappers.

'I don't want to miss ze charts again,' Raphael said.

'Isn't there a radio we can take with us?' Calvin asked.

Danny ran back inside and came back with Amy's single speaker radio. 'She's studying in my room so shouldn't miss it.'

After filling the tank with diesel and the radio with Evereadies, the van headed north; Calvin at the wheel, Raphael in the middle reading his scribbled directions and Danny on his left double-checking the road atlas whilst trying to locate Radio1.

On the M40 before Banbury the chart rundown began. All three thought _Only When it's Saturday_ must now have some hope of charting.

Pedro Powers introduced the charts saying that there'd be six new entries coming up. Though they hadn't left the slow lane Calvin dropped the revs to better hear the radio's tinny sound.

The boys fell silent and leaned towards the speaker. 'Falling eleven places to 40 is Marillion—'

'Well, we're either in or out,' Raphael said.

Danny shushed.

The next six numbers passed with no new entries. Pedro Powers played whichever track had climbed to 33. Calvin straightened and sighed.

Danny did too. 'Guess we're out then.'

'Suppose we only had an outside chance,' Calvin said.

Raphael rubbed his eyes. 'You're right it's easy to forget how long ze journey is amongst ze excitement of interviews and ze few sell-out gigs we've done. Maybe it's best we don't chart.'

'What the hell are you on about?' Calvin said, 'that's not you talking Raphael.'

He didn't say more.

The radio said, 'At 31 the first of our new entries ... ' Calvin stepped on the clutch quietening the engine. Danny huddled close, '... Helen Terry with _Love, Lies, Lost_.'

'Damn it,' Calvin said. Engaging third gear he floored it as Pedro Powers continued through 30 and 29.

'You've gotta wonder—'

'Hang on,' Raphael said.

'... Another new entry,' Pedro Powers said into the van's cab. 'This time from a band I've not even heard of.' The lads looked at one another daring to believe the impossible. 'With _Only When it's Saturday_ Little Spirit enter the charts at Number-28.'

'Oh my crapping word, we did it!' Calvin yelled. Keeping an eye on the road he passed a hand in front of Raphael. Danny grabbed it in both of his and yelled too. Danny hugged Raphael and Calvin leaned over hugging them both. In the outside lanes cars and lorries streamed passed. Calvin slid his window open and told the traffic they'd just charted. 'Top-30!'

* * *

By the time they reached Manchester they felt like they'd won Eurovision. On time but starving they parked at Oxford Road and searched for food and payphones. They found two phone boxes so Danny headed to the newsagent for pasties whilst Calvin and Raphael got dialling. Calvin heard the engaged tone. He hung up and leant out of his phone box. 'Mate, are you ringing GMD?'

'Yeah, Richard said to ring ze moment we arrived.'

'No wonder it's engaged.'

'Alight, leave Richard to me. You ring Ze Dog and Parrot.'

Calvin dialled. The phone picked up on second ring. 'Katherine, we did it babe, Number-28.'

'I know, the juke box has been playing the single all day, well done babe. Kev wants you gigging here ASAP.'

'Tell him we'll do it.'

After Katherine, Calvin's fingers hovered wondering whether to ring his parents in Coventry. He put the handset down.

'You done?' Danny asked him. 'I need to let my mum know.'

'I'm done.'

'Have you rung the flat?'

'Amy's all yours,' Calvin smiled.

Raphael said, 'Richard's delighted with ze result and says Phonogram have come in with a preliminary offer so no matter what happens with Vanquar we should have something. Oh, and Austin rang to congratulate us. When Richard told him about Ze Whistle Test he said to tell Calvin no jumping on ze springboard.'

* * *

In New Broadcasting House the producer, a man called Mike, rebuked them for being late even though they'd arrived an hour before the deadline.

Afterwards an un-deodorised stagehand in headphones led them into a room.

'We're ready so if you would set up here,' he said pulling a headphone off one ear.

'Not in the studio?' Calvin asked.

The stagehand smiled. 'This is the studio.'

Calvin looked around the room little bigger than a living room and noted its black walls and high ceiling and stage lights.

'If you think this is small, you should've seen Pres B where they used to film in London,' the stagehand said. 'Where's your gear?'

'In the van.'

'Okay can you be set up in five minutes?'

'Five minutes?' Raphael said. 'Who sets a drum kit up in five minutes?'

'Sorry man, I just figured with you being acoustic musicians you'd maybe only have one or two drums.'

'We're not acoustic musicians,' Danny said. 'Well, we are, but only because we have to.'

'Hold on,' the stagehand said and called the producer over.

Once the problem had been explained Mike said, 'We've got you in because we're told you're an exciting band making your living busking the streets of London – acoustically.'

'That's, kind of right,' Calvin said. 'But we're an electric band first and foremost. We've sold out The Marquee; though we were technically only the support band.' His voice trailed off.

'Yeah,' Danny said. 'We're a rock band with a rock album, rock single and rock video. Haven't you heard the single?'

'Guys, until last week none of us had heard of you at all.'

'We've just hit the charts at 28.'

Danny suspected Mike didn't believe them and sent the stagehand to check the particulars.

Looking at his fact sheet Mike said, 'Signed to GMD, distributed by Vanquar.' He snorted adding, 'Given none of us have heard of you, Vanquar can't be doing much to promote you.'

'They're not. That's why we've been doing the acoustic street stuff,' Calvin said.

'We don't have the resources to research things as thoroughly as we'd like, I'll get someone on it. What to do,' Mike said. 'There's still a bit of time. Just bring your gear in and set up double quick.'

The band raced to the car park and opening the back doors looked at their gear.

Raphael said, 'He meant ze electric instruments didn't he?'

'Not sure,' Danny said. 'Let's set up double quick like he said and if he doesn't like it it'll only be more work for him.'

When they lumped the equipment into the studio the first stagehand said, 'Were you told to set up electrically?'

'Of course,' Raphael said. 'Weren't you researching us?'

'Mike's sent someone else.' He set about pointing mics into the amps and around the drums.

'What d'you think of our backdrops?' Raphael asked.

'You mustn't obscure the _Whistle Test_ one. But you can keep the named banner hanging from the drum riser.'

A few minutes later Mike appeared waving a copy of the single.

'Right,' he said but stopped seeing the stage setup.

Danny readied himself to let Calvin argue the toss but mike said, 'Good, you're set up. You're story checks out, sort of.'

'Only, sort of?' Calvin said.

'Nothing to worry about I'm sure. We sent someone in a taxi to pick up your single.'

'And?'

'The shop owner told our guy that this is the first copy he's sold since the first batch of just three units came in. Needless to say he's as confused as we are as to how you've reached Number-28.'

Danny cast his mind back over the past few seven-day weeks of exclusively busking near Gallup-participating record shops. 'We've exposed our name and music over the last few months, and particularly the last few weeks, to thousands upon thousands of people in London.'

Mike held his hands up. 'I'm sure you have. Anyway, here's what's happening. We'll record your single and one other track now – just the backing mind you. Then when we go live Randy Earnshaw will introduce you.'

Danny caught Raphael's eye and nearly laughed knowing Raphael had seen his nostrils flair at the thought of having Randy Earnshaw presenting.

'Something funny?' Mike asked.

'No. Sorry.'

'You thought you'd be playing it all live on national TV didn't you?'

'Err,' Danny said. 'Yeah we did actually.'

'We do it this way to guarantee a decent live sound. Anyway, Randy will introduce you and you'll sing live but mime your instruments to the backing tracks. You got a second song in mind?'

The three bandmates looked at one another. Danny shrugged confident that all the album tracks had sufficiently rehearsed strength. 'Of course.'

'Good. Once you've played, there'll be a few features then Randy will conduct a brief interview and, if it's not too much to ask, you'll perform a song acoustically and we'll record it on the fly.'

'Okay, great,' Danny said.

'Good stuff lads. Start playing and we'll get your sound sorted.

The lads took their place on stage. After a couple of runs through the songs with stagehands baffling the sound with boards used from other sets Mike recorded them.

As the lads hadn't practiced the songs without singing both Calvin and Danny opened up confident the sound wouldn't be picked up by the instrument mics. Danny's throat felt like sun-perished rubber.

* * *

On Mike's say so they made for the canteen with a couple of hours before show time. Sitting at a dirty table with teas Danny asked Calvin, 'How's your throat?'

'Not bad, not good,' he said wafting drifting smoke away.

'Raphael are you up for singing out tonight?'

'Mine's straining a bit too.'

'Fingers crossed we'll be alright. Now, how do we handle Kershaw?'

Calvin drummed his fingers on the table. 'I reckon our stage performance will speak for itself but if he doesn't want to hear us perform acoustically his attitude could affect viewers.'

'I've an idea,' Raphael said. 'We could be cheeky back to him or, we could be clever.'

'Clever?' Danny asked.

'Like we were with Tia at Thames News. We refused to play until she agreed to see us at The Marquee. It's just, how do we do something like that with someone like Randy Earnshaw?'

'And get away with it on live TV?' Danny added.

They waited for the teas to cool some degrees before leaving the smoky canteen with more drinks and throat sweets. When they bumped into Mike they said they'd be in the van. Mike told them what time to be back and Calvin set his watch alarm ten minutes earlier.

Danny took his acoustic guitar and rather than go to the front of the van each lad lay flat in the back in order to relax his throat fully for as long as possible.

Calvin set a further countdown alarm on his watch to go off fifteen minutes before the alarm.

When that sounded Danny reached for his guitar. Strumming a chord the lads hummed deep and barely audible vocal exercises. Danny concentrated maintaining relaxation and felt his sinuses vibrating musically.

Minutes later the band arrived back in the studio with voices gently warmed over their full octaves.

Mike dashed up to them. 'Where have you been?'

'Mike, we're back ten minutes before you asked us,' Calvin said.

'I sent someone to check on you and they said the van was empty.'

'It's fine,' Danny said noticing his voice sounding deeper than usual and husky like someone with a cold.

Mike checked his watch and said, 'Well you're here now. You may as well go to the stage you'll have a few minutes wait.'

On stage Calvin found himself checking the tuning of his bass but wondered why given they'd be miming.

Seconds before their big moment, Randy Earnshaw came to the front of the stage to present himself. The producer called him to action and Calvin stood away from his vocal mic humming a last warm up.

Without apology for his Bristol accent Randy said, 'Next a band who, armed with nothing but brutal determination, have been winning hearts of Londoners on the club circuit and throughout the streets too. Finally, sparing a thought for the rest of us, Little Spirit endeavour to win hearts across the nation. Making their national screen debut performing _Magic Words_ and their single _Only When it's Saturday_ I give you, Little Spirit.'

Calvin hadn't been excessively nervous given the absence of audience and the preoccupation of camera crew. He couldn't get nervous about viewers he couldn't see either.

But even if he didn't have to play live bass he still had to sing and Calvin suddenly realised miming the bass had spawned a critical problem. Beat one started with his voice. As Randy finished his introduction Calvin, as always, pulled a B-flat to cue his pitch but heard nothing. Not a sound came from his amp. With horror Calvin's face prickled as the blood left it. Leaping from his mic he dived for his amp.

They'd not planned to speak but Danny sensing disaster stepped to his mic and stating the now obvious said, 'Thanks, we're Little Spirit.'

Calvin ramped up his amp's volume, pulled a B-flat and still no B-flat came. Clawing the A-string he scrabbled at the knobs on his guitar. A note one semitone below what he needed finally sounded. Normally Calvin required nothing more than a nod from Raphael but this time, like the hundreds of thousands of viewers at home, Calvin had no idea when the first note would come.

Raphael's voice came to the rescue, 'One, two ...'

Calvin squeezed B-flat. His eyes met Raphael's before he strode back to his mic, not needing to hear the rest of Raphael's count.

On his side of the stage Danny inappropriately found the relief and irony of the song's first line, _Please help me,_ hilarious. Not needing to sing for a few bars he turned his performance away from the cameras and towards the drums. Without corrupting Raphael he faced the floor and with mighty effort imprisoned the treacherous laugh.

Facing the front he forged through the song's sensitive moments and dynamized it's darkly powerful phrases.

All too soon Raphael beat out _Only When it's Saturday_. Danny's voice had been fine blended with Calvin and Raphael's but as he attacked his rock riff he worried how his voice would sound in isolation. With Calvin's bass fill Danny thought he should aim for a lower note but sang the big one, ' _Hey-yeah-yeah-yeah'._ The sound of his voice filled his head. He could feel the pressure in his ears as the music rushed escaping him bound for the mic.

Into the verse he sang wondering if his voice had ever sounded better. He needn't have worried cruising through the chorus and into the second verse. With a straight road to victory he stepped from the mic and Calvin took over the verse's second half.

Plucking a simple ostinato Danny recalled the laugh he'd suppressed earlier. Before that thought completed Danny's lips sprang into a smile. Trying to hide it became hopeless as a chuckle fled its earlier imprisonment.

With only moments before the next chorus Danny turned from the cameras and from his boots howled with laughter. Facing the cameras again he sang, ' _No way, Only When it's Saturda-a-a-a-hahaha-a-a-ay.'_

Glancing to his left he saw Calvin had caught it but managed to limit himself to a huge grin. A stolen look behind found an infected Raphael in stitches. But with nowhere to hide, his laughter went straight from stage setting the cameramen off. Behind the desk beyond the lights Danny could even see Mike shaking with laughter.

As quickly as it arrived the laughter ebbed. The band had to manage the middle-8 section.

The record featured cascading overdubs of them and the girls chanting the title. Live, it had augmented over months of gigging to become a monstrous anthem with the audience joining them.

Now the band faced the unfunny task of chanting it out alone. At the back Raphael choose prudence despite wanting to shout to the crew to join in. Instead he joined Calvin and Danny in belting it out full force. From Raphael's seat the outro sounded as seminal as ever.

The last chord faded and lights on the cameras went out. Raphael guessed the broadcast had switched to the sofas in the other room where Randy would be.

Mike approached the stage. Calvin stepped towards him and said, 'God I'm sorry Mike I'd nothing to cue my first note.'

Fortunately Mike hadn't shaken his humour. 'Don't worry guys you did really well. It looked and sounded great out here. What got you laughing?'

For some reason all eyes fell to Raphael.

He said, 'We've been performing hours every day. We're probably running on endorphins.'

'Okay well you've done it once; try and keep it together for the interview yeah?'

Soon Randy invited them to join him on the sofas with their acoustic instruments.

'Hey ze backdrop,' Raphael said pleased the crew members remembered to show it.

'Yeah,' Randy said. 'We thought we'd display it because it's part of your secret of success I believe.'

'Is it?' Calvin asked looking puzzled.

'Isn't it?'

Raphael cottoned on. 'It is yes, because we aim to be utterly memorable. We've entered ze charts at 28 today and it's partly because our backdrops make it easy for shoppers on ze streets and people at gigs to remember ze name.'

'Easy to remember; difficult to forget,' Randy said.

'Exactly. Ze backdrop goes wherever we do.'

'Congratulations on your first chart entry by the way. Now we've just seen how you perform electrically and you'll be pleased to know, backdrop or not, I'll remember that till I die. I don't know what tickled you but it got me laughing too.'

'My fault,' Calvin said. 'I only just remembered to turn my bass up for the first song.'

'You don't normally laugh that much in your sets then?'

'We like a laugh but there's a time and a place.'

'Okay, well let's talk about your street performances.'

As the interview progressed, Raphael found Randy's attitude agreeable and wondered if the interviewer they'd feared might actually like them.

'You're going to perform for us again now,' Randy said, 'this time with acoustic instruments. Tell us about the song; quickly we're running out of time I'm told.'

Danny said, 'It's Raphael's inspiration. It's called _Joanna_ and is about all the pretty ladies we see and meet when busking. We don't always learn their proper names but they help us through the day.

'Okay, this is Little Spirit performing, _Joanna.'_

'I don't think I can play sitting down,' Danny said.

Raphael needed to stand too and at that point saw Randy stifle a yawn and look at his watch.

Seizing the opportunity he said, 'Was that a yawn, I hope we're not keeping you up?'

Immediately the words left his lips he regretted jumping on the kindness and respect Randy had so far shown them.

Calvin must have been looking for a way in too and said, 'Maybe we shouldn't play if he's tired.'

Randy apologised seeming embarrassed.

'It's okay, it's all in hand,' Raphael said, afraid Calvin would say more. 'I've just ze thing.'

Danny strummed the chords and Raphael grabbed a shaker and shished the rhythm before handing it to Randy. 'We'd be honoured if you'd join us sir.'

'Oh, okay,' Randy said joining in with the rhythm Raphael began driving.

'Excellent,' Raphael said.

Though he tried to concentrate on the performance he sensed he'd made a mistake with Randy and searched his mind for a solution. He didn't know if giving him the shaker had been a good idea or not and, though Randy continued to play Raphael couldn't read his mood. Instead his mind drifted forward sixteen hours to the band's next meeting with Dave Whitaker.

Calvin and Danny appeared un-phased and played up to the cameras. They wrapped the song up after the second chorus when Mike signalled them from behind the camera.

'Where you alright with that?' Raphael said accepting the shaker from Randy, patting his shoulder and then concerning himself that he might be coming across as patronising.

'Yeah, that were fun. Did anyone tell you that's not how you play djembe?'

Raphael laughed pleased with Randy's jokey backbite.

'I've really enjoyed having you guys on the show,' Randy said warming the interview down. 'We get a lot of bands on, like yourselves, who're looking for exposure and they might bring some skill but perhaps little else. But in you guys I see genuine desire to entertain. For that reason I wish you the best of luck with your single and look forward to the album. But err, don't say owt if you catch me yawning again eh?'

* * *

Raphael didn't want to drive but imagined it might distract the advancing uncertainties of the next day's Vanquar meeting.

On the M40 he longed for his bed somewhere east of them in Hemel. He ploughed on and by midnight the van arrived back at the Chingford flat.

Katherine had waited up to celebrate with them. 'I saw the show, it was brilliant. You were brilliant.' She hugged Calvin then to the other two said, 'You were all just brilliant. And funny too.'

Eventually Danny went to his room, took his shoes off and tidied them away. Amy had certainly left her mark. He neatened her books before re-joining the group.

Having seen her door closed he asked Katherine, 'Where's Amy?'

'Studying with Alison and Joanne.'

'Is she coming back?'

'Yeah, but she said it'd be a late session.'

'D'you believe her?'

Calvin interjected. 'Danny, we're at Number-28 in the charts and you're worrying about Amy?'

'Her exams are imminent. I'm quite sure the only thing on her mind is study,' Katherine said.

'Did you see what she was wearing when she left?'

'She wasn't dressed for dancing if that's what you mean.'

'And she had books with her?'

Katherine thought for a moment. 'Yes, of course.'

'Well, I'm not sure I can wait up for her. Tomorrow's gonna be a big day; one way of the other.' Danny turned for his room.

'You really wanted to see her tonight didn't you?'

'Yeah, sort of.' In truth Danny had been looking forward to seeing her all the way down the motorway.

'Drove lots of miles back here,' Raphael said having not spoken in a while. 'I wish we knew whether Amy was coming back I could fancy a bed.'

## Wednesday 02th May 1984

On the morning that would decide the band's future Calvin woke rested. In the living room he found Raphael on his feet dressed and preened with hair styled like he'd spent hours on it. 'I think we should look ze best we can today.'

'As always,' Calvin said noticing him fidgeting and shifting his weight from foot to foot. 'We're not actually meeting Dave till twelve. You okay?'

'Didn't sleep much. Not feeling myself actually.'

'Alright, calm down. You should've slept fine after all that driving last night.'

Calvin, assuming Raphael had sickness, sat him down and brought a glass of water.

'Slowly,' he said when Raphael gulped, eyes darting around.

'This is it. We're not playing around here. Today ze future goes either one way or ze other. Ze most important day of our lives. A real quantum leap up ze pyramid. Major record deal. Real money. Or nothing.'

'Mate you're freaking out and you're kind of freaking me out too.'

'You should be; I just told you, this is ze biggest day of our lives.'

Calvin took his pulse.

'Right, stay there,' he said jumping up knowing he had to snap him out of whatever had possessed him. 'Put your shoes on.'

Calvin went to his room and found his Converse.

Back in the living room he said, 'You've not got your shoes on. Come on.'

'Why do I need them?'

Calvin picked up his trainers and loosened the laces. 'You're not thinking straight.'

Once outside, Calvin marched him along the street.

'Why are we doing this?' Raphael said.

'Helps you think. I swear if this doesn't work I'm bringing your mum in from Hemel.' He set a fast pace. 'Okay, all I've ever known of you is optimism and I admire you for—'

'Yes but—'

'Just answer me these questions. We signed to GMD – you were calm – why?'

'Not a big deal – literally. They only signed us for one lousy album and there was no money. We had nothing to lose.'

'Okay, anything else?' Calvin upped the pace to a near jog.

'I don't know. Nobody really demanded any commitment from us.' Raphael trotted behind.

'We've already signed to Vanquar for the single. How come you were so calm for that?'

'Same reasons. They've not given us any money. Ze video was on ze cheap. Can we stop now?'

'Soon. If your heart wants to race let's give it something to race about. It'll calm your mind down. What are you worried about – signing to Vanquar or not signing?'

'I don't know. It's a big deal either way.'

'Okay suppose we do sign. What then?'

'We'll have the responsibility of loads of money and everyone will want to rip us off. But we'll need it to pay for radio and TV pluggers and all that priority stuff Richard was on about. You know taking boxes of albums to record shops as bribes to make sure our single gets played. And all ze costs running away with us for limos and things we don't need.'

'Okay if we sign and they give us money we'll secure it. We'll document every ride we take in a limo and make sure we know exactly how much money we owe.'

'But what about ze pressure to produce albums on time? And what if they don't like them? I'm not convinced Dave likes us anyway?'

'Firstly they're not going to sign us unless they love us. Secondly neither we nor Vanquar have enjoyed the fruits of our first album so don't be worrying about the second and we've already got enough new and old songs for another two albums at least. And thirdly, I thought you liked Dave – all that back slapping stuff you shared?'

'Bravado. I'm not always as confident as I make out.'

'I know.'

'You know?'

'I don't have lots of mates but the ones I have mean the world. That includes you and I know you're mostly a very confident person and when you're not you make up the deficit with bravado. But one thing you might not know is that Richard told me, Dave described you as a bloody good bloke.'

Calvin stopped realising Raphael had.

'You want to turn back?' he asked the drummer.

Raphael looked back down the street they'd travelled. 'You're doing good Calvin. Let's keep going.'

Setting off fast Raphael kept up.

'So what if Dave rejects us today?'

'I guess one of ze other heavy weights might make us an offer. Phonogram's offered something maybe ze others will now we've gone Top-40.'

'What about all the problems you envisaged if we sign to Vanquar? Don't they count if we sign to Phonogram?'

'I don't know.' Raphael slowed. 'You're right I was freaking out. It's passing. With not sleeping I had crazy thoughts going round and round.'

'Café,' Calvin said pointing across the road. 'Let's grab a coffee.'

'Ze café Amy took me to. I had to stay ze night after they poisoned me.'

'You want to skip it?'

'No. Let's go, ze coffee won't kill us.'

'Actually it might be best you avoid caffeine.'

They crossed the road and Calvin ordered a coffee for himself and hot chocolate for Raphael. They slid into the booth seats of an un-wiped table.

Calvin sipped his coffee. After a quiet moment he said, 'You know a lot of bands don't make it because they fear success. Might even be the biggest reason. Last time we played The Water Rats, Stosh told me about decent bands who refuse to take the leap. Or bands where one member's hungry but the others hold them back. Hell, our previous drummer Brian would have done that. I don't blame anyone for being afraid.'

Raphael listened and nodded. Calvin continued. 'Being unsuccessful is all we know. Despite all the positive images of being rock stars _now_ we are still heading into unchartered waters.'

Raphael stirred his hot chocolate. When he didn't speak Calvin said, 'But, given your visualisations and that fear of success hasn't ever come up I'm left wondering what's really wrong.'

Raphael put his spoon down and looked at Calvin. He nodded and said, 'I don't want to sleep on ze settee anymore. I miss having a bed and a room where I can close ze door. People can walk through ze living room to ze kitchen or bathroom anytime. I'm sick of being uncomfortable and ...'

'And?'

'Something else.'

'Something else?'

'Yeah. I haven't really been myself since that night with Christine and Mazz.'

'I thought you liked Christine in the end.'

'Two different people.'

'I know you lucky dog.'

'I meant Christine.'

'I know what you meant.'

'That rocked my confidence. I suppose I needed bringing down a peg or two.'

'Well, I overstepped the mark with Randy Earnshaw last night. That gave me something to think about whilst you were driving us back.'

'I don't know.' Raphael smiled. 'Perhaps he needed bringing down a peg or two?'

'Best behaviour for Dave Whitaker?'

'Sure, no cocky behaviour today.'

Drinking in silence something occurred to Calvin. 'Come on mate. You're gonna be fine.'

Walking back Raphael could sense Calvin thinking. 'What's going on in your head?'

'Your drums.'

'What about them?'

'They're key to your confidence.'

'What d'you mean?'

'Think about it. It's the performing musician in you that pulls all those girls' phone numbers. When we first met Dave in Vanquar you had your djembe.'

Raphael thought for a moment. 'What about my Smart-Alec behaviour in Ze Brudenell in Leeds?'

'There were drums on the stage. Come to the push, you'd have jumped on the stage and justified your worth. But, you knew we'd be back kickin' it the next day. We're about to go to a meeting where you can't remind yourself how cool you are by playing drums.'

'Maybe you're right. Christine and Mazz was a drum-less experience too. But what can we do?'

'Take your drumsticks to the meeting. If you feel anything less than yourself just give 'em a twirl or beat out a paradiddle on your knees. Hopefully it'll be over in a flash and we'll be touring America with The USed Wonz.'

Back at the flat Calvin opened the door and a much calmer Raphael followed him. They met Amy at the top of the stairs.

'There you are,' she said hovering by Danny's door. 'Danny's not up yet is he?'

'Don't know, we just went out for some ... exercise,' Calvin said.

'Right. I'm hoping to study in his room.'

Calvin went to the living room and sat down. Amy followed and sat beside Raphael.

'You sure you're not studying too much?' Calvin said

'No, I didn't do any last night.'

'Danny guessed as much,' Raphael said.

'Really, and exactly what did Danny think?'

'Amy,' Calvin said intervening, 'you're a gorgeous twenty-one year old. We know you've got to study but you need some fun too.'

'I know I am. I mean, young, not gorgeous, well maybe a bit. But I wasn't out gallivanting. Anyway, I don't know why we're talking about this. Congratulations – Number-28.'

'I know, Little Spirit in ze charts, who'd have thought.'

'I never doubted it but you're kind of the reason no studying got done last night. We stopped to watch The Whistle Test. You guys were fantastic. We laughed our heads off. Joanne opened the wine and no more study happened. She thinks the song _Joanna_ is about her by the way. Anyway I ended up too sozzled to come home.'

'It all sounds pretty innocent.'

'Well, it didn't help with my studies. What time do you guys need to be out?'

Calvin looked at his watch. 'Soon-ish.'

He banged on Danny's door. Nothing happened so he banged again. 'What d'you want?' a croaky voice griped.

'Time to get up.'

'I don't want to.'

'Get up. Big day today.'

'I don't want—'

'I'm coming in.'

Calvin burst in on an unresponsive Danny whose face remained tucked under his duvet. 'Mate it's time to get going.'

'I've got a cold; feel like a tree's blown over on my chest.'

Calvin leant on the desk. 'Come on mate, we need you today.'

'I don't want to.'

'Because of a chest cold? I'll make you a brew.'

'I don't want to go.'

Calvin stared at the lump and let his temper fly. 'I don't believe this we're about to sign the most important contract of our lives and you don't want to?'

Danny hated being shouted at. Calvin never shouted at him, but given that he just had, Danny found strength. He tugged the duvet from his face and pulled himself up, supporting himself on the pillows. 'We don't know that we're signing anything.'

'Yeah, but you are coming aren't you?'

With a sigh Danny croaked, 'I never said I wasn't coming. I just don't want to is all.'

'What's going on? I've had Raphael freaking like Zebedee and you're like a flat tyre.'

'It's scary.'

Calvin softened and moved to sit cross-legged on the rug. 'I know it is.'

'Whichever way it goes it's scary.'

'I know. You're alright though?'

'Yeah. Glad we're not gigging tonight.'

'Me too mate. I'll fetch you a brew.'

Calvin walked into the living room and found Amy watching TV whilst Raphael appeared to be sleeping. 'Quick word?'

Amy followed him into the kitchen. 'What's up?' she said whilst Calvin put the kettle on.

Facing her he said, 'Do me a favour will you? Take a brew to Danny and stay with him. Whatever you talk about tell him everything's going to be fine.'

* * *

'Morning,' she said kicking Danny's door closed behind her and setting the tray of tea and toast down.

'Where's Calvin?'

'Err, shower. Got you some brekkie.'

'I missed you last night.'

Amy perched on the end of his bed. 'I should've been here when you got back.'

'No you shouldn't. It would've been nice though.'

As Calvin had requested she told him everything would be alright and, because she believed it she soon convinced Danny.

* * *

Everyone gathered in the living room.

Calvin spoke. 'It is a big day for us today. We're not sure quite how it will go or where it will lead. But whatever happens I just want to say to the girls, Amy – we love you and want you with us always. Katherine I love you and will continue to give you all of what the groupies leave.'

'That's very generous,' she said.

He smiled. 'I've also decided something else very important. I like Raphael too much to have him continue to sleep on the settee indefinitely. We all know this the flat isn't big enough for the five of us so we need to think about alternatives starting now.'

Danny looked at Amy who looked at him and then the floor.

'Any one disagree?'

'This is a bit out the blue isn't it?' Katherine said.

'All I'm saying is let's keep our eyes open for a bigger flat or house.'

'We won't find anywhere this cheap,' Danny said.

'We'll sort something out. But first let's go and meet Richard.'

With no gig that night the band decided to take public transport into London. By lunch time they'd scaled the external stairs to the GMD office and sat awaiting Richard's briefing.

'Right then,' Richard said. 'As you know I maintain that bands should keep their feet on the ground. Don't believe anything anyone says. For that reason I pass very little waffle on to you guys. I don't depress you with the bad news and I protect you from the so called good news ...' he opened a desk draw. '... unless I feel you deserve a pep.'

He plonked what Raphael suspected to be a contract on the table and continued. 'Over the last few weeks you guys have outperformed anything either me, Grace or Trudie could have hoped for. The culmination of your performance landed you with perfect timing a chart position higher than any of us dreamed possible.'

Raphael and his two bandmates listened as did Grace when the phone gave her chance.

'You guys have certainly ruffled Vanquar's feathers. Trudie reckons Dave couldn't possibly fail to recognise Little Spirit as a viable option meaning there's no doubt Vanquar will sign you.'

'Alright,' Calvin said.

'Nevertheless,' Richard said maintaining order, 'let's save any excitement until the papers are signed and the money comes in.'

'Of course.'

'The thing is because you've driven the single so hard other companies have woken up. Dave doesn't need me to tell him how much Phonogram are prepared to pay.'

'So there will be bidding?' Raphael said.

'Well what we need to decide is which companies are serious and which are sticking their oar in because they're afraid they'll miss out.'

'And?' Calvin asked.

'Phonogram are the only other company prepared to move forward right now. So next we look at which company is offering us the best deal and, more importantly, which company has our best interests at heart.'

'What have you learnt?' Danny asked.

'Phonogram's offer is about as good as Vanquar's in many respects but there's a clause they've written – a sweetener to GMD. If we go with Phonogram, GMD get a bigger percentage.'

No one in the band said anything. Raphael heard Grace pick up the phone and say she'd call back.

'However, it is my firm belief and Grace's instinct, that GMD will make more money not with Phonogram but with Vanquar.'

The band exchanged looks.

'Vanquar are the company for us. Their offer has no doubt been worked and reworked over the weeks since you first met Dave. But this is it, right here.' He thumped the papers on his desk. 'It's only a photocopy but it's the best deal I've ever read. And with Vanquar we get Trudie. She, like all of us in this office, has every belief in the entire Little Spirit product.'

'Even though I panicked her in front of Dave?' Raphael said.

'Maybe especially because of that. She knows it'll be a rollercoaster journey but she's keen to get on with it. And that's why I believe GMD will benefit with Vanquar more than Phonogram.'

'That's good.'

'Yes. Now, Phonogram have talked but haven't drawn up a contract. If we go with them we're in for a wait, they might reduce their offer and the whole thing will give Vanquar the hump and damage our relationship with Trudie. So, to summarise, we're due at Vanquar shortly to sign the actual documents. I've been over them with a lawyer who'll meet us there.'

Richard covered the main points of the contract before asking, 'Is everyone happy with that or should I cancel the appointment and get on to Phonogram?'

'If what you're saying's true then I'm sure we're all up for signing with Vanquar,' Calvin said.

'Absolutely,' Danny said his voice still sounding croaky. 'We should get over right now.'

'Indeed. But for God's sake keep your feet on the ground. The Vanquar building might be subject to terrorism before pen reaches paper.'

* * *

Trudie met them at Vanquar's revolving doors. 'Hi guys. Welcome to you all.'

'Great to see you,' Richard said.

'Come straight up. We've got champagne on ice.'

The lads and Grace strode past reception. From the lifts they arrived at a different floor from last time and walked a tunnel like corridor of precious metal wall-mounted discs. Calvin pointed out the new carpet to Raphael.

'This way,' Trudie said leading them to the plush presidential boardroom. 'Dave will be along shortly.'

Something beeped. Checking her pager Trudie said, 'The lawyers have arrived. Back to reception for me; see you in a mo.'

'She seems excited,' Calvin said once she'd left.

'Doesn't she?' Richard said eying the champagne in its ice bucket and glasses in the middle of the board table. 'I guess we should wait for her to open the bottle.'

'Best behaviour today,' Raphael said.

Trudie soon returned with two sharp suited lawyers and introduced Richard's lawyer Peter and a brunette lady representing Vanquar called Janice.

'You've not started the bubbly,' Trudie then said tearing the foil off the first bottle.

People helped themselves to glasses and Trudie poured. Raphael and Danny refused champagne opted instead for the carton of orange juice. Like Danny, Calvin deciding his throat would benefit from the vitamin C also declined champagne.

They sat chatting. Trudie looked at the time. 'I know Dave likes to make a late entrance but he shouldn't be this long.'

After the chitchat ran thin Trudie said, 'I'm really sorry but I'll have to go and see what's holding him up.'

She left and Janice began checking her watch instead. The room became silent and Calvin sat back twiddling the stem of the champagne flute. After Raphael's hysteria and Danny's depression he didn't fancy any sort of hitch.

The minutes dragged and Calvin grew board of looking at Janice pulling her specks on and off as she went back over the contract's small print time and again. Thankfully the door opened and Trudie walked in. But she headed straight for a chair, sat down and put a hand to her face.

'Problem?' Richard asked.

'I don't know, maybe, a situation.'

'Can you tell us what?'

'Basically, Dave has friends throughout the entire music business. He got a phone call earlier from the proprietor of a London record shop who claims Gallup rang him this morning querying Little Spirit sales.'

'Gallup – what did the shopkeeper tell them?'

'That everything's fine. Think he mentioned the busking and that the records sold individually not in batches.'

'Any returns?'

'No.'

'So there shouldn't be a problem. What sparked this?'

'Dave's privy to insider knowledge from another friend who works for Gallup. It seems a record shop in Manchester flagged them last night when he sold his first Little Spirit single to someone in the BBC.'

'D'you lads know anything about this?' Richard asked.

Calvin explained the confusion at The Whistle Test which had resulted in a researcher buying the single.

'Mike the producer said the guy in the shop was amazed we were at Number-28 when he'd not heard of us or sold any singles himself. But we had no control over the BBC's actions or knowledge that they'd sent someone to buy the single.'

'It's alright,' Richard said, 'you've done nothing wrong.'

'Do we know how long this will take to sort out?' Janice asked. She checked her watch again. 'It's just I've got other appointments.'

'Dave said he'd have an idea shortly,' Trudie said. 'I'll go back up and check how he's getting on.'

Trudie returned saying it could yet be some time. Janice told her to keep in touch but made her apologies and left. The other lawyer, Peter, told Richard he'd head back to his office but would return as soon as the problem had been remedied.

Calvin slumped further into the chair as quiet rage periodically swelled in his belly. To his right Raphael leant against the table resting his face in his hands. To his left Danny stared appearing almost catatonic.

Grace who remained serene asked Trudie, 'Not that it should but could a situation like this affect Dave's decision to move forward?'

'Can't say for certain. Dave loves drama but not if he fears it could lead to other problems.'

'It's a bit early in the day to be bringing him any problems,' Danny said.

'Well it can't be helped,' Trudie said. 'But Dave did say I should set you free in the catalogue room. He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't some confidence. So let's head to the basement. Dave'll page me as soon as there's any change.'

Below reception the lads and Grace would have collected records like crazy but for the impending sense of doom that passed between them. Richard and Trudie stayed outside. Calvin couldn't guess what they'd be discussing.

By the time Richard stepped into the room Calvin and the others had mini hoards of records including some for Katherine.

'She's been paged,' Richard said leafing through records himself. 'Huh, what d'you know, The USed Wonz.'

Calvin, even with all the records he could want, suffered through every minute as did the others. He looked at his watch surprised to see that time had been soldiering on. Katherine would be wondering why he hadn't phoned.

The door opened and everyone faced it. Unfortunately a lad walked in, startled finding five people's eyes on him. 'Everything okay in here?'

'We were expecting someone else,' Richard said.

'Oh,' the lad said. 'I've just got some new releases to add.' He went about his work but said with a wry smile, 'You're Little Spirit aren't you?'

'For now,' Danny said.

'And Dave's letting you take records?'

'Yeah, why?' Richard asked.

The lad went to the singles section and pulled out _Only When it's Saturday._ 'Do us a favour when you document what you've taken will you add this to it?' The lad pulled a pen from his record bag. 'And, err, I'd be honoured if you'd sign it?'

'No problem,' Danny said. 'Not what I had in mind when I thought of signing anything today.'

'Haven't you signed yet?'

Before Danny answered Trudie appeared. 'We're ready for you.'

'Good news I hope,' Richard said.

'Hope so,' Trudie said before spotting the lad. 'Darren, what are you doing here?'

'Working.'

She turned a blind eye whilst the other two signed the single which he slipped into the record bag.

In the lift Richard said, 'Lawyers?'

'On their way.'

'Good.'

Once again seated in the presidential boardroom they began another wait whilst Trudie went for the lawyers.

Finally with everyone in position Dave arrived.

'Guys,' he said projecting his voice and throwing his arms open as if visualising hugging everyone seated at the table, 'what a morning. What a day. In fact, what a few weeks.'

He took his place at the head of the table ignoring the now tepid champagne. 'A brief explanation.' He banged his right hand on the table. 'On the one hand, Little Spirit, you are a rock band writing pops songs.' He banged his left hand on the table. 'I'll come to the other hand in a second. Back to the first hand. I love _Only When it's Saturday_ but Vanquar is not looking to sign rock bands for this country at this time.'

Calvin adjusted his position and waited whilst Dave drank in the affect his words had on them. 'Or at least Vanquar wasn't until you guys came along. We've taken your single round all the clubs in London and monitored its effect on people. Now, as you might expect, it hasn't blown away crowds who are only there to dance but it has fared well in rock clubs and less dance driven environments.' Dave held up his right hand. 'That would've been enough to raise our interests to borderline.' Raising his left hand he said, 'But it's this hand that really interests me. On this hand you have proven yourselves to be highly styled, highly entertaining on and off stage, highly industrious, and incredibly hard working. And most important of all to me highly synergistic; thus creating results that have wowed me and, it would seem Gallup too.'

Calvin sat wondering what Dave would say next. Could it be a _but_ , an _alas_ , or an _unfortunately_?

'Unfortunately,' Dave said, 'your achievements created unforeseen problems. I had to re-write the contract I'd prepared for you because by this time I'd fallen in love with the album but other companies reckoned they fancied you on their books. I had to create this contract.' He pointed to the papers in front of Janice. 'It's a poach-proof contract; the best contract a band could hope to sign.'

That had not been the _unfortunately_ Calvin had expected yet he sensed more apprehension.

'Alas,' Dave said, 'your hard work created another problem. You charted. Who would have guessed that?' He leaned forwards as if to stick his face into everyone else's in turn; including the lawyers. Calvin didn't know where to look and guessed everyone else felt the same.

Dave sat back. 'You charted and with total disregard of the 30's you landed at Number-28. How could this be? I get a phone call this morning; Gallup suspect foul play. I'm thinking if this is true, what becomes of Vanquar? Disgrace, ridicule, fines? We need to get to the bottom of this.'

Now Calvin sensed Dave's bombshell getting closer and knew his bandmates and GMD team must be coming to the end of their nerves. With no appeal or counter argument what could he do but listen further?

Dave's expression became glaring. 'I had Trudie in the office. I'm asking, did they cheat, did they cheat? No, she tells me. They only did what they said they would – busk. That's great but how did they get so high in charts?'

Dave's voice receded from frenetic as he sat back. Calvin had virtually faded the room from his consciousness whilst he concentrated on the meaning of Dave's words. Still, he noticed Janice glance at her watch.

'You may be aware,' Dave set off again, 'that record companies do market singles in ways most effective and sometimes their desire to win sales oversteps the mark of what's considered proper. Richard may have told you that in March, EMI lost a legal battle and was fined for over influencing record shops efforts to sell singles.'

Calvin hadn't known that.

'This may be a factor in how you guys managed to attain such a high place without constant airplay and a Top of the Pops appearance. Because, for the moment at least, record companies are promoting singles a little more gingerly and that levels the playing field for lesser known acts.'

Dave leant forwards again. 'Another factor though is that the charts are not linear. You don't have to sell a specific number of records to reach a specific chart place. It varies week to week and season to season. Christmas Number-1 is a mad race. Everyone wants that and you'd have to sell something like half a million a week to get it. Yesterday's chart was very unusual though. To get a chart position anywhere from 100 to 28 was quite easy. It turns out that if you landed right on the threshold. For you to have reached Number-27 you'd have had to have sold almost three times what you did; and to have reached 26 you'd have had to have sold three times as many again.'

Calvin caught a look from Danny. Dave had just devalued their chart position.

'I'm certain today's episode has passed. You sold an incredible, yet feasible number of records. Gallup have checked and not one record has been returned. Everyone who bought a record wanted it. Vanquar and all who sail in her are in the clear.'

Dave checked his pager and Calvin wondered what could be left to go wrong.

'But,' Dave said, 'let me tell you that Gallup being so stunned by your record sales; knowing full well you'd received no priority treatment has done nothing for me but to galvanise my belief that Little Spirit is an act, a band, a product worthy of phenomenal results and this phenomenal contract.'

Dave grabbed the contract papers from in front of Janice and held them aloft. 'With that in mind let's sign this contract so you can start living the lives you've earned.'

Calvin making to stand, found extra strength overcoming his emotion whilst Danny seemed to roll over onto the table before finding his feet. Before heading to Dave they converged on Raphael heads clattering as they joined in a group hug.

Richard allowed them a moment of premature celebration but broke them up, ushering them to the top of the table and to pick up Dave's solid silver Parker.

'One thing left to do,' Dave said checking his pager once the documents had their full complement of signatures. 'Follow me please.'

Dave led the way through the thick carpeted corridor of platinum records to the lifts. They descended several floors and came to an open plan marble landing.

'Nearly there,' Dave said striding ahead. He grabbed one handle of a double door. 'There's some people that want to meet you.'

He opened the door and the band entered a hall of cheering staff.

Dave followed them in and quietened them saying, 'Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming. Would you all please give a warm welcome to Vanquar's latest signing: Little Spirit.'

The band felt bowled over by the applause.

'Get to know these faces folks, you'll be seeing a lot of them in these parts.'

Calvin's reaction might have been to run. Certainly he had trouble moving forwards. Pretty girls approached him and the others with champagne and this time even Raphael accepted.

Plenty of staff had questions for the lads and they found themselves separated from each other. Several feet away Calvin saw Dale Steward of the Euro-beets approach Raphael. As his own conversation had come to an end he listened to Raphael's, amused that after Dave's introduction Raphael couldn't think of anything else to say and so Dave moved on.

Calvin made his way over to Raphael and said, 'Now you know how me and Danny felt when we met you.'

Soon the champagne's flow ended and the three bandmates, two GMD members and Trudie came together.

'We should go out and celebrate properly,' Trudie said.

'What d'you lads fancy doing?' Richard asked.

Danny rubbed his sore throat. 'Honestly I just want to get back.'

'Yeah,' Calvin said. 'I need to see Katherine. She'll be worried. I should have phoned her hours ago.'

'Raphael?' Richard asked.

'Ze idea of going out is nothing compared to going home to a proper bed.'

'Well that's it,' Richard said. 'It's official, Rock 'n' Roll just ain't what it used to be.' He turned to Trudie and said, 'I've been telling these guys to keep their feet on the ground and now the buggers want their beds before we do.'

Trudie laughed and said, 'What are you lot going to be like on tour?'

'Fine if I can ring Katherine when I say I will.'

'Fine if ze beds are full size.'

'Fine if I haven't got a sore throat.'

'Listen guys,' Richard said, 'I can only imagine how much strain you've put on yourselves these last few weeks but your hard work has paid off. I hope Trudie won't mind my saying but we might soon wealthy again.'

Grace spoke up and told them everyone well done with a kiss for each bandmate.

Raphael didn't know if she'd saved him until last but when her lips brushed his face he wanted the tenderness in her sentiment to last forever.

'Thank you,' he said returning the hug as best he could with records and drumsticks under each arm.

Richard snapped them out of it. 'Right lads. Do get some rest. With a deal like that and a woman like this,' he indicated to Trudie, 'I promise you things are going to start happening pretty damn quick.'

## Thursday 03rd May 1984

Richard and Grace may have been busy but the next day the band rested. Danny relaxed in his room where Amy studied and provided cough medicine.

That evening though, Katherine arrived from her shift and prepared for a night out with Loretta. Calvin phoned Raphael and learned he'd only got up three hours earlier but felt back to his usual self and thanked Calvin for speaking up about the living arrangements. Calvin assured him they'd get right on it before things got too busy.

Back in his room he asked Katherine, 'Where are you meeting Loretta?'

'Nowhere too posh thank goodness. Come along too if you want; might make up for your lack of celebrating last night.'

'No, you go and enjoy yourselves, I'll meet Loretta soon enough. If you fancy something posher I've got cash.'

Katherine fastened the ankle straps of her shoes. 'That's lovely babe but I'm determined to pay my own way. I need to be honest about what I can afford.'

As Calvin walked her to the bus stop Katherine considered how wealth had flowed into and out of her life. Bar work had provided financial stability, pleasing her more than her impoverished upbringing or Saint Tropez's fantasy paradise. But Little Spirit would surely leap onto Rock 'n' Roll's gravy train beyond poverty's precipice and that made her head spin.

The financial freedom that working in the pub and living with people of similar wage afforded her would end. That she'd be meeting her rich friend Loretta seemed uncannily coincidental marking a situation change demoting her wage from adequate to inadequate.

Katherine couldn't be sure how she'd fit in with Calvin's new life financially. Earlier he'd reiterated the importance of finding a new place to live. How much would that cost? Where would it be? Would it even be practical to continue at the pub?

At the bus stop Calvin said, 'Take these tenners and enjoy yourself.'

Katherine looked at the three notes. 'Calvin, if I took those I'd have nightmares of being back in Saint Tropez.'

When Calvin didn't say anything she guessed he'd be thinking along the lines she just had. Eventually he said, 'Dilemma.'

'Indeed.'

'Thing is, I couldn't have done half this without you. We, Little Spirit, look incredible because of you. You introduced us to John. Most of all you put me firmly on the tracks giving me strength to get here. And that gives me strength to pull Danny and Raphael back when they momentarily derail. We wouldn't be here without you, or Amy for that matter. You even helped with my rent.'

Katherine looked again at the money. 'Thank you but keep the tenners for now at least.'

'I know how many hours you work and how fed up you're getting of bar work babe.'

She only smiled. The bus approached.

* * *

The restaurant had an air of calm affordability. Seated, Loretta asked Katherine about her job.

'I used to enjoy the banter and my boss loves me but the more hours I work the more I resent it,' Katherine told her. 'I've been saving like mad for Elaine's wedding.'

The soup arrived and Loretta sipped. 'The Harrods wedding list. There're still items on it.'

'I'll get a few plates but at fifty pounds each I don't want to hear of any flying out the galley when they go about.'

'That won't happen. Gareth's spending more time in London so that's where they're setting up. Calvin's coming to the wedding right?'

'Just me, he's not invited.'

For a second Loretta looked puzzled. 'You've not seen your invitation of course.'

'No, is Elaine posting it?'

Loretta put her spoon down and opened her handbag. 'I forgot I've got it right here.' She handed Katherine an envelope. 'You needn't RSVP; I've already done that.'

Katherine opened the envelope. 'Oh, it says I can bring a guest.'

'So bring Calvin.'

'I don't know. They only signed to Vanquar yesterday. Their schedule's gonna be hectic. Maybe my mum?'

Loretta almost chocked on her soup. 'What?'

'She's not John's guest is she?'

'She's, I don't know, maybe.'

Something didn't seem right. 'But, they're not an item.'.

'No?' Loretta dabbed her lips with a napkin. 'I mean, no, but they look like best friends. Your mum's doing better than you had us all believe by the way.'

'Yes, well I didn't actually know my mum had a history then. Loretta you're behaving a little strangely.'

'Am I? This soup's delicious.'

'I know. I've got the same here.'

'What about Amy, she's fun perhaps she'll come?'

'She got exams ... no wait, she'll be finished by then. I bet she'd love to come along.'

During the main course Loretta asked when she could see Little Spirit in action.

'They'll gig Saturday in London and Sunday at my pub, fingers crossed. Danny's recovering from a chest cold following a hefty stint gigging and busking.

## Friday 4th May 1984

Calvin picked up the phone first thing Friday.

'How's Danny?' Richard asked.

'Getting better.'

'I know you all wore yourselves out. Will you be good to gig tomorrow?'

'We'll be ready.'

'Great stuff. I've got the next six weeks' schedule, can one of you pop by the office at some point this afternoon?'

Calvin said he would.

He rang off and took a brew to Katherine. He climbed onto the bed. 'Morning gorgeous.'

Katherine stirred. 'Sorry if I woke you last night.'

'Sorry I was asleep so early. Good night?'

'Yeah. It was great seeing Loretta. She's coming to a gig.'

'Cool,' Calvin said but still had trouble caring about her friends after Abigail's snub in Saint Tropez. He changed the subject. 'Did you have enough money?'

'Yes thank you love.' She smiled.

'And did Loretta put your mind at ease as far as the wedding's concerned?'

Katherine thought for a minute. 'Not sure, pretty much. Hey, I can take a guest, but you'll probably be busy.'

'Probably. Richard's giving me the schedule today.'

'I thought of my mum but it sounds like she might be going anyway?' She sounded bewildered.

'Is that so strange?'

'Yeah, why didn't she or John tell me?'

Calvin had no idea.

'Anyway, I've not seen her in ages so I'll check with her and maybe ask Amy along.'

Danny stayed in bed reading The Crowd whist Amy studied.

Calvin knocked. 'Am I interrupting?' he said seeing Amy studying, dressed but, in bed next to Danny.

'It's a change from sitting at the table,' she said.

'Oh right.' Calvin told Danny about Richard's call. Raphael had opted to skip the meeting and Danny said he'd stay back to properly recover. Calvin suggested that he should get up so they could jam through a few songs to reintroduce their voices to singing.

After a couple of hours of gentle singing Danny said, 'Should be alright by tomorrow.'

Calvin set off to London with posters under his arm. He caught the tube to Putney Bridge and stuck posters wherever he felt best. The morning's rain had passed and the afternoon warmed up ever more. Arriving at the King's Head he left posters for management and ordered a shandy to pass time before meeting Richard.

'Thought it was you,' a familiar voice said.

Calvin turned 'Stosh, good ta see ya.'

'How's it going?'

'Brilliant. Vanquar signed us properly two days ago.'

'Ah, that explains why you're all over Capital FM. Congratulations. I don't think we'll be needing those posters I've heard them mention tomorrow's gig.'

'Crikey.'

'I can't believe how far you guys have come.'

'I daren't think about it. How come you're here so early?'

'We're fitting new EV speakers. It'll sound even better here from tonight.'

'Great. And you'll be doing our sound?'

Stosh paused. 'Actually I'm doing The Rats tomorrow.'

'Aw really?'

'Hmm. You know what, I'll swap. I'll say you specifically requested me.'

'That's more like it.'

Calvin drank up and headed across town for the GMD office. He stopped at letting agents and collected information on suitable properties though he didn't know what Amy would be doing after her exams. It became obvious that affordable properties in London got snapped up instantly; they'd have to be ready to move the moment something presented itself.

He jogged round to the GMD office.

'Good to see you,' Richard said.

Calvin felt exposed in the office without his bandmates. From her desk Grace waved with phone receiver pinned by her shoulder.

'Me and Trudie have been working,' Richard said. 'Firstly the advance has come and I've opened a business account called Little Spirit which; we'll get all our names on. Everything that we spend from it must be accountable including drawings.'

'Drawings?'

'Yes, the money we take to live off. We need to decide how much that'll be. My advice of course, would be to stretch the advance as far as possible.'

'Of course. I should let you know we're looking for another place to live and from what I can see there'll be a rent hike.'

'Inevitably,' Richard sighed. 'Don't go mad is all I ask. Anyway we got lucky with The Whistle Test and with Laser558 but in the interests of not hanging around I've paid TV and radio pluggers. But you guys charted and radio wants to know why they've not got the record. Particularly in London, radio stations have ripped the single out the pluggers' hands.'

'That explains why Stosh said it's being played on Capital FM.'

'Exactly, they're making up for lost time. TV's a little more difficult. There's fewer slots available. I may as well tell you now, you're on standby for next week's Top of the Pops but you've got a firm slot on next Friday's Tube. So you'll be up to Newcastle for that. I'm waiting to hear about Saturday Superstore.'

'Wow, things are shifting.'

'What else, ah yes, gigs. Trudie's been to the William Morris Agency.' Richard went quiet for a beat. 'They are, very, difficult to impress and their books aren't short of acts. So, no chance of a Little Spirit tour from them just yet.'

'Oh.'

'That said we can get you _on_ a tour but it'll cost. Trudie and I agree we should hammer Britain for a while so we're looking to buy you on to either Reformed Dreamscape, Dire Straits or Billy Idol's UK dates.'

'Sounds great.'

'I hope so. Once those dates are out the way and we've released another two singles William Morris will probably be more accommodating.'

'So will we do more videos?'

'There's talk of two more at least for this album. To save money Trudie wants to record back to back like last time.'

'With The USed Wonz again?'

'No, with yourselves; two videos, one location, probably Brighton; although how are you with secrets?'

* * *

By the time Calvin arrived on Chingford Mount Road most businesses had closed for the day. He nevertheless stopped at letting agents' windows and made notes.

He didn't give a thought to the traffic passing behind until without a second's warning an opened Coke can clattered into the pavement. Skidding towards his feet Calvin jumped but Coke still sprayed his shoes.

His head snapped round seeing an unknown face leaning out a speeding car's side window shouting, 'Wan-kaaaaaaah!'

Shocked Calvin watched the man's two-finger salute. Before the car disappeared he noted the cream Wolseley's N-reg number plate.

* * *

'Just seen Brian,' Calvin said when he joined Danny in the living room later.

'Drummer Brian?'

'Yup, his mate threw a can at me.'

'Bloody hell.'

## Saturday 05th May 1984

On Saturday afternoon Danny opened the front door.

'Wow, you're looking better,' Raphael said entering the flat.

'Well, May's a stupid month to get a cold.'

'No Katherine?' Raphael asked seeing Calvin.

'She's getting ludicrously priced plates for this wedding,' he said before running through the points Richard had made the previous day.

* * *

After Katherine returned everyone including Amy got ready for that night's gig. All five boarded the van and Calvin drove to Putney Bridge.

Stosh greeted them upon arrival.

'I see you swapped venues,' Calvin said.

'Yup, and I'm feeling it's gonna be busy tonight.'

'All the better to know you're doing our sound,' Calvin said.

Katherine and Amy sat with white wines whilst the band set up and soundchecked. Katherine asked how she felt about her exams.

'Getting there, the stuff I'm reading seems to be going in.'

'Any more ideas about next year?'

'We'll see how well I do but I'm thinking of doing a masters.'

'Really?'

'Maybe. This moving house thing might make a difference though.'

'What d'you mean?'

'What if we don't move near a university?'

'Are you thinking you might not come with us?'

'I'd like to. Actually there's been so much change this year a move's just what I need. That and a bigger room.'

'I know what you mean. Things are changing faster than ever; we'll have to be ready for whatever comes.'

John's distracting booming voice announced his arrival.

'Hey,' Katherine said, 'he's brought Gareth too.'

John and Elaine's husband to be joined the girls.

Gareth said, 'So Katherine I've not seen you for ages. I hear you're a Cumbrian?'

'That's correct,' she said holding her chin high.

'Remarkable, my family moved there when I was seven. I lived there for about four years before moving inland.'

'Really? That's extraordinary.'

'Small world,' Amy said

'Speaking of which so's Saint Tropez,' Katherine said to John. 'I spoke to my mum apparently she's your guest at the wedding?'

'Did I forget to mention that?'

'Yes, as did my mum. You're behaving oddly about something.'

'Stop saying that. Loretta said you were acting spooked. Anyway who are you taking?'

'Amy, Calvin will be shooting videos in Brighton.'

'Excellent,' John said giving Amy his biggest smile.

'Well, I'm not sure where we'll stay.'

'On my boat. I've told you you're always welcome.'

'With you and my mum?'

'We're just friends,' John implored.

'John, you're extremely kind but your boat's not that big. One of us will have to get in bed with you.'

'Katherine,' Gareth said laughing, 'we've sourced extra accommodation. Now I know there's been a disagreement with you and Elaine last year but it's passed. We can't wait to see you and Amy on the day. All you have to do is turn up smiling.'

Katherine looked at him. 'I just want your day to be perfect.'

'We appreciate your efforts finding the venue. It promises to be an incredible day.'

Grace appeared with friends who entertained themselves whilst she joined the group. Katherine introduced her to Gareth. Grace seemed to fold into a shyness Katherine hadn't seen in weeks.

Gareth shook her hand. 'Yes, I, err, gathered who you were, from John.'

His awkward introduction left Katherine again feeling strange not that she could put her finger on why.

Loretta arrived moments before the venue's doors closed having sold out. The band squeezed round the table with Loretta too. Finally Stosh joined them.

'So Stosh,' Danny said, 'when we spoke at the video shoot you said you were looking for somewhere to live.'

'That's right. It's sorted. I'll be moving to Enfield in the next couple of weeks. Not a moment too soon, eh?' He rubbed his hands together.

## Monday 07th May 1984

The King's Head gig wowed Loretta who joined Katherine at The Dog and Parrot gig the following night. Though band and Kev agreed Little Spirit had outgrown the upstairs room Katherine had never seen her boss smile so much. At the end of the night the partying rabble left both upstairs and downstairs bars looking as if they'd need refurbished. Kev didn't worry telling Katherine he'd never cashed fatter tills.

Everyone's euphoria unfortunately dipped when they left the pub.

Amy rounded the corner first and gasped seeing the van. 'What's happened here?'

Calvin's eyes narrowed seeing the van had been pelted with at least two dozen eggs.

* * *

On Monday morning Calvin set to the job of cleaning the van and wondered what would come next. The wet sponge softened the mess he presumed their ex-drummer had created. No real harm but would Brian smash windows or break in next? As he considered these points he realised how little of Brian he knew. Where did he live or work? Did he play for another band?

* * *

That evening Amy stood alone by Danny's window. She'd worked hard and now rested her mind watching the traffic. She thought of Danny's kindness but how much she'd wanted a knight in shining armour and how badly it had turned out. Maybe she should redress her values. She continued sitting on the windowsill watching traffic until one car caused her concern. Ducking below the windowsill only her eyes showed. A cream Wolseley decelerated slowing the cars behind it too. She couldn't see the driver but knew it must be Brian. Instead of calling to the others she stared at Brian's passenger as desperate realisation left her paralysed.

## Tuesday 8th May 1984

Amy waited for signs of life the following day and got up when she heard Calvin going to the living room.

'Morning boys. How's the van?' she asked joining them.

'No more attacks that I can see from the window,' Calvin said.

'That's good. Is Katherine up yet?'

'Should be. Go on in.'

She left them to it.

'That might be ze office,' Raphael said when the phone rang.

He returned to Calvin a minute later. 'Top of ze Pops,' he said. 'It's chart day and that determines whether we're on or not. If we fall from Number-28 we're out. We're only on this week if acts in ze current playlist go down the charts.'

'So who's on this week?' Calvin asked.

'Richard couldn't say so fingers crossed we go up and everyone else goes down.'

When Amy came back from seeing Katherine, Calvin asked her if she'd listen to the charts with them.

'How d'you think you'll do?'

Calvin and Raphael looked at each other. Calvin said, 'We'll have had to sell loads more singles but we should climb a few places.'

Amy looked thoughtful. 'I think I'll leave you to it. Not sure I could do with any more stress right now.'

'Exam pressure,' Raphael said when she left.

Amy knocked on Danny's door and on his say went in to find him panting.

'Just done two-hundred press-ups and two-hundred sit-ups,' he said.

'Before breakfast?'

'Ready for it now.'

'Stay there I'll get it. What d'you fancy?'

Amy came back with a tray to find the window open and Danny reading on his bed. She put the tray down but didn't say anything. Danny couldn't miss the tension. 'Is something wrong?'

'Maybe.'

'Can I help?' He bit into the toast.

Amy struggled knowing how difficult this conversation would be. 'You're a fab friend.'

'A sexy one too I hope.'

Amy smiled. 'Amazingly so. Perhaps you'll put it into action and pull a worthy girlfriend.'

'I'd like that.' He fixed her with a stare. 'So what's up?'

'How would you feel if I had a boyfriend?'

His smile vanished. He looked at the toast and pushed the tray aside. 'Have you – a boyfriend?'

Amy shook her head. 'But, say I did?'

'Have you met someone?'

Amy shook her head. 'It doesn't matter, I can tell you wouldn't be happy.'

'I'd be gutted.'

'I'd hate you to feel like that. God this flat is full of people telling us how we should feel about each other. But we never talk about it do we?'

Danny said nothing. Suddenly he jumped up. 'Give me a second?'

Amy didn't answer but waited until Danny returned. When she smelt minty breath and saw brushed hair she guessed he'd try kissing her again.

Wasting no time she said, 'Danny I did meet someone a while back.'

'Oh God.'

'I told no one but Katherine found out.'

'Brilliant.'

'She's didn't tell a soul. Anyway, it's over. It only lasted a few weeks.'

'D'you love him?'

'Certainly not. Never.'

'He love you?'

'He said so but he didn't in the end.'

'Why are you telling me?'

'Because,' Amy chose her words carefully, 'the day I ended it he'd auditioned for a band. He's a guitarist – a crap one.'

'You would say that.'

'Would I?' she said pointedly.

'Sorry, go on.'

'He's crap trust me. Anyway I never told him where I lived or anything.'

'So you weren't too serious?'

Amy detected hope returning to his voice. 'No, he was just in the right place at the right time.'

'Which was where exactly?'

Amy made no response. She didn't want him knowing about the lads from the Hippodrome.

'I ended it,' she said focusing on what mattered now. 'But he burst into rage. Threw things; hurt me.' She rubbed the now healed bruise. 'You saw my wrist.'

She looked at Danny. He said nothing. He looked as he had the day when she thought he'd drunk the bottle of wine by the TV. Dark and angry.

She said, 'You aren't mad at me are you?'

He shook his head.

She continued massaging her wrist. 'I hate saying this but I think he's in a band with Brian.' Again she felt he might be angry with her. 'Katherine said you should know because yesterday, I saw the pair of them slow down and drive passed the flat.'

Danny closed his eyes and pursed his lips. 'What does this guy look like? No. I don't want to know. Cal said someone threw a drink at him from a car the other day. He'll know if it's the same guy.'

'Okay.' Amy stood up from the bed and headed for the door.

'Amy.'

She turned.

Danny got up from the bed and approached her looking surprisingly pacific. 'Ages ago I had girlfriends and you, did whatever you did. I never needed to see you as anything other than a mate.' He took her hand. 'Then I hear this crazy idea that you liked me – as more than a friend. So I looked at you differently. And, you're right we don't talk; I never heard from you, the one person who really mattered, if that was true.'

'I'd don't suppose I'll ever see you as just a friend.' She pulled her hand free.

Danny snapped. 'So why waste your time with idiots who want to hurt you?'

'Because,' Amy looked into his face, 'they can't hurt me as much as you could.'

'But I don't want to hurt you.' Amy looked away. He touched her face. 'Never mind what some psycho thinks of you. I'm ... ,' this time Danny looked away. He swallowed. 'I love you.'

Amy saw his expression and heard the words she wouldn't have believed possible. Words she'd dreamed of hearing and still her own fear prevented her from acting as she would have wanted.

She said in a whisper, 'You don't know that. How could you? We haven't even... you know—'

'Amy I don't have to make love to you to know I'm in love with you.'

'Yes but if you—'

'If I did make love to you I mightn't love you the next day, is that it?'

She almost stepped back at Danny's infrequent insight. 'Yes. That's it. We live together. It's, so inappropriate.'

'So are lots of things; such as being with a guy you don't even like.'

She didn't know what to say.

Looking away she saw her books stacked on his table awaiting attention. 'Danny, my finals start in six days.'

The mood broke.

'You're right. I'm sorry,' Danny said. Amy stammered but Danny carried on. 'I don't know what becomes of us but let's get these exams out the way first.'

Amy smiled, frowned, then smiled again. 'Thank you.'

'And Amy?' Danny said as she turned for the door, 'you're right if this guy's in a band with Brian he's most likely a crap guitarist.'

* * *

In the living room Raphael asked Amy, 'Are you listening to the charts after all?'

'I need to ask Calvin something.'

'You alright?' Calvin said.

She sat down. 'You should know, I had a boyfriend recently.'

Calvin thought of Danny. 'Do I have to hear this?'

'It's okay Danny knows.'

Calvin nodded. 'Go on.'

'Someone threw a drink at you the other day?'

'From Brian's car, yes.'

'Was he big, like Danny, with dark hair?'

'Yeah he was. Is that him?'

'Maybe. He's twenty-nine but looks mid-thirties.'

'So, what's going on?'

'I dumped him and he went berserk. I'm guessing he's joined a band with Brian and between them they're out for trouble.'

'Right.' He didn't say more.

'Calvin?'

'What?'

'What shall we do?'

'What can we do? I always wondered if Brian would come back to haunt us.'

'I'm sorry. If it wasn't for Marlon he wouldn't know who Little Spirit are.'

'He'd find out sooner or later. A change of address won't hurt though.'

'I didn't tell Danny but he's a tough guy.'

'This Marlon fella?'

'Yeah.'

'It's good to know what we're up against.'

'Charts,' Raphael said his hand on the radio's volume.

Amy got up and said, 'I'll send Danny in.'

'How is he?'

'I never really know.'

Amy left and Calvin nodded so Raphael could turn up the volume.

Danny came in seeming brighter than Calvin expected. 'Amy told you I presume.'

'Yeah, sow come you're so happy?'

'Because, she likes me.'

'And this is news?' Raphael said.

'You telling me is one thing; her telling me is quite another.'

'As long as you're okay,' Calvin said. 'The charts are starting.'

An hour later they knew they'd climbed seven places to Number-21 narrowly missing a Top-20 hit. The band didn't know whether to celebrate or not.

Two hours later Calvin took a call from Richard who told them they'd done well. Alas due to other acts rising Top of the Pops had confirmed the week's playlist would not include them.

Raphael new he shouldn't be so down but having spent so many nights on the settee visualising a Top of the Pops appearance he couldn't help it.

'Don't worry mate,' Calvin told Raphael. 'We might yet get it next week.'

'We should be busking not resting on our laurels,' Danny said. 'Think about it that's what's gained us notoriety. People might be wondering why we're not in the streets.'

## Thursday 17th May 1984

Amy continued studying through her finals whilst for the next nine days Katherine pulled pints. The band hit the parks busking and on Friday trekked up to Newcastle's Tyne Tees studios to perform on Channel4's live music program The Tube. They knew Jude Netherland could be a tough interviewer as Randy Earnshaw could but as luck would have it they got Pauline Gates who marvelled at Danny's physique which bulged through his skin-tight black T-shirt.

Afterwards they shared the driving as far as Hemel where Raphael's parents put them up for the night.

Following The Tube national interest in the band continued to flourish and, as the weather became hotter they pulled greater crowds in London's parks.

Unbeknownst to Little Spirit The Guardian newspaper photographed them in Hyde Park and interviewed Richard who only thought to mention it the day they released an intellectual article about Little Spirit and their role in the modern music industry.

On Tuesday Richard confirmed that in seven days they'd be supporting Brewster Springfield on the UK leg of his world tour. They'd travel the length of the country for eight dates of colossal arena and stadium venues before filming two videos somewhere around Brighton. They'd then join Reformed Dreamscape's tour; smaller venues but ultimately more people.

But first, they had to play Top of the Pops. Tuesday's chart saw Little Spirit reach Number-17 which guaranteed their place on the show. Not only that but Richard insisted that the band celebrate its significance and signing to Vanquar by taking band, girls and Trudie for a meal after the show.

On Thursday Little Spirit walked into the car park at BBC Television Centre. Without instruments they only carried Little Spirit T-shirts.

'This is it, Raphael said punching the air. 'We've made it, Top of ze Pops.'

Danny looked upon the famous bare brick building. 'We said we couldn't do this without a decent record deal. And we have a spectacular deal.'

Calvin said, 'Virtually the top of the pyramid. The only thing we could want for now would be a tour of our own. But who cares right now?'

'We'll soon be playing Wembley Arena with Springfield anyway,' Raphael said.

'You're right,' Danny said. 'Still, I'd just love for us to get our own tour; see our names at the top of the tickets.'

'A proper bed to sleep in would be nice,' Raphael said doing neck rolls.

Calvin looked at him. 'Sorry mate. We'll sort it soon I promise.'

Richard had explained that the Musicians' Union insisted acts re-record their songs for Top of the Pops. But apparently that never happens because clever wining and dining would distract the Musicians' Union rep who'd be led to believe the song presented to him had just been recorded especially for the show. Richard had somehow wangled his way past this problem claiming the count in clicks added for Raphael's benefit qualified it as different; radio listeners didn't hear the clicks after all.

This technicality couldn't have been further from the band's minds as they stepped into the Top of the Pops studio. Just like The Whistle Test they couldn't get over the studio's diminutive proportions.

'Is this really it – the studio you use every week?' Calvin asked the stagehand who directed them to a table-top sized stage with only two vocal mics and black drum kit complete with plastic cymbals.

'It really is. It's incredible how different it looks on tele. You're a three piece right?'

'Yeah.'

'You'll look terrific on this little stage,' he said advising them of marked spots on the stage from which they'd perform from.

Raphael sat and arranged the drums and plastic cymbals as best he could before catching up with the others in their allocated dressing room.

'We're in it now,' Raphael said. 'Madness are ze other side of this wall.'

* * *

So far Amy had faced exams every day that week. She felt she'd earned a break especially as she didn't have another one for several days.

She arrived with Katherine at Television Centre where they met Grace. All three girls wore the same black, white and blue outfits Katherine had helped them choose for the video.

'One small step for Little Spirit, one giant leap for GMD,' Grace said as they entered the building and followed the throng of snazzy youths to the Top of the Pops studio.

Katherine collared someone with a clipboard and asked which stage Little Spirit would be taking. He pointed to what looked like a sparsely equipped plinth.

Looking around she said, 'We could go on the balcony.'

Amy looked above and behind the stage. 'Not in this skirt.'

'Good point,' Grace said. 'If we get in front of the stage we'll have a better view. Crikey what's that?'

Behind them they heard jeering. Amy turned to look towards the fire exit. Unable to decipher yelled words she saw security guards forcibly removing two lads smartly dressed in crimson shirts; one looked like Brian the other like Marlon. She looked at Katherine who of course couldn't confirm either identity. Looking back towards where the wrestling had taken place Amy decided she surely must have been mistaken. Nevertheless she bit her lip and forced it to the back of her mind.

Positioned just feet from the stage the girls waited. As the time approached 7pm the audience reached capacity. Stagehands vanished and cameras took position.

Some guy with headphones shouted up, 'Okay everybody make some noise we're going live in five, four, three ...'

Amy started cheering with the teenagers when the ceiling monitors played the show's familiar theme.

As it ended the man in headphones waved his arms about to excite the audience into making more noise.

Up went the applause and Amy looked round to see what had caught the crowd's attention.

On the far side balcony she saw Radio1 DJs Janey Short with Mick Tiff who said, 'Hey, hey, welcome to Top of the Pops. We've got a great show for you tonight and ...'

'A brand new Number1,' Janice said taking over. 'But first Terri Wells is kicking us off with _I'll Be Ahhhh-round._ '

The cameras swept round and from their positions the girls saw the solitary black lady dancing and singing.

Amy watched the performance on the ceiling monitors. Next came Ultravox.

* * *

Backstage Little Spirit, having had their mullets pulled into spikes by makeup artists, received their final call and made their way stage-ward. With no backdrop they'd threaded their belts through T-shirts so the audience and cameras could read the band name from their backsides.

Danny strapped a borrowed black Stratocaster on and headed out. He stood on the low stage seeing faces he didn't recognise and hearing random inane cheering from around the Ultravox stage.

With nothing to do he looked at some of the front row faces but felt stupidly awkward. Instead he and Calvin faced Raphael.

Just offstage Mick Tiff appeared. A camera wheeled around. Ultravox finished and a red light popped on in front of Mike. Danny, preparing himself to rock, didn't hear Mike's introduction.

Insincere high-pitched screams went up and Raphael beat out the rhythm. Danny spun round and stamped his foot. Not knowing where to look he avoided the cameras and focused on the back wall. He twisted his plectrum in his fingers but came alive the moment he had something to do.

When Calvin joined in, Danny finally felt at home. Adopting the spread leg stance he pressed his crotch into the back of the BBC's Strat and transcended the triviality of it not having a lead plugged into it.

Calvin took over the second half of the first verse and Danny prepared himself for the chorus. As he drew breath he looked into the crowd and several rows back spotted Grace. He smiled seeing Katherine and to her left Amy whose face shone energising him further. Danny grinned breaking from Amy only occasionally to give the cameras something.

* * *

Afterwards the girls waited for the lads at White City underground station.

Whilst Grace checked the route to Leicester Square Amy said to Katherine, 'Danny said he loved me.'

Katherine faced her. 'I don't doubt that. What you going to do about it?'

Amy thought of her exams. Pulling a face she said, 'Nothing tonight.'

The busy station quietened as Top of the Pops goers left for other things.

'Come on guys,' Grace shouted when the lads appeared. 'My feet are aching.'

'I hope not,' Raphael said. 'We're dancing tonight.'

'You were brilliant,' Amy said rushing to Danny.

'Thank you. It was great fun. How was today's exam?'

'Who cares. Tonight's all about you.'

'Amy, we just played Top of the Pops; it was brilliant but don't ever think it's all about me, or us,' he said.

Danny held her gaze. Amy frowned but said, 'Alright if you must know my exam went well. Now let's go celebrate.'

* * *

Richard and Trudie had already arrived at The Ivy. Danny positioned himself opposite Amy feeling more relaxed than his previous visit. Amy plonked her napkin in her lap and caught him watching. She smiled and joined a conversation with Grace.

After food, Richard filled everyone's champagne flute with the bubbly Raphael had so far avoided.

'Just sip a bit,' Richard said. 'Or mime. I know you can manage that.'

At the head of the table Trudie tapped her glass calling order. 'Everybody, Richard has a few words.'

Clearing his throat Richard thanked her.

Raphael leaned back and relaxed whilst the crotchety middle-aged man who'd softened over recent months stood in his usual brown suit chuntering about all the things Raphael would have guessed. But his words came in such earnest that Raphael couldn't be anything but impressed when he announced he'd never been happier since hiring his niece and signing Little Spirit.

After raising a glass Trudie said a few words along the lines that in Little Spirit she'd never had a better project to get her teeth into.

Like Richard, Trudie's words felt huge in their significance and when Raphael cast his memory back he couldn't imagine why he'd freaked out before signing to Vanquar.

Again they raised their glasses after which Trudie said, 'As you know we're on the guest list of Astoria so let's go boogie.'

Outside they debated against using taxis as the Astoria lay a mere stroll away. The boys wandered ahead. The girls followed four abreast. Trudie who never seemed to dress to impress told them how fabulous they looked.

'Everything I'm wearing was Katherine's idea,' Grace said.

'Me too,' said Amy. 'Katherine helps people develop their beautiful selves.'

'You had quite an effect on Dave Whitaker,' Trudie said to Katherine.

'That's normal,' Amy interjected. 'Calvin told me his brother, who's a priest, nearly gave up the cloth when he saw her.'

Katherine laughed. 'That's an exaggeration.'

'Barely.' Amy turned back to Trudie. 'Anyway, Katherine and Calvin are unshakable.'

'For all Dave can be a womaniser I'm sure he understands that. But, he's interested in Katherine's ability as a connoisseur of fashion and style.'

'Really?' Katherine said.

'Perhaps you'd like to come to Vanquar for a chat soon.' Trudie handed her a business card. 'We can't directly employ you but Dave wants to be acting agent. We'd get you jobs styling acts. It'd be well enough paid to be worth us taking commission.'

'Wow Trudie thanks.'

'No probs just ring me when you're ready and we'll make an appointment. I could do with an overhaul myself. I know the green trouser suit isn't helping but I'm growing tired of the comments it's attracting.'

Katherine put the card in her handbag and almost skipped after the boys. Trudie spoke to the doormen and before they knew it they stood at the bar ordering drinks.

The Astoria had recently been refurbished and re-launched as a grand scale nightclub. Amy had avoided nightclubbing since the Hippodrome episode and tapping her foot faster than _Let's Hear it for the Boy's_ tempo felt irrationally unsettled. She stood with her back to the room facing Danny and Calvin who propped the bar up supping pints.

Danny watched the packed dance floor. Girls danced provocatively. He looked back to Amy overlooking her agitation and seeing only the Little Spirit T-shirt clinging to her deliciously. Sipping his pint he figured getting drunk would be a mistake. He didn't fancy risking his friendship with her again. Butterflies circled his stomach when she looked at him and pulled the olive off her Martini's cocktail stick. When she turned to face the room he looked her up and down and imagined how her skin would feel under his fingertips.

'Guys,' Amy said without warning. 'I think Brian might have been at the BBC tonight.'

Danny gripped his pint.

'Alone?' Calvin asked.

'If it was him, he was getting thrown out with Marlon.'

Danny thumped his glass on the bar. If Johnny Won avoided alcohol to stay sharp then that's what he'd do.

With the mood ruined Danny ordered a Coke and went off to join Raphael. Nobody mentioned Brian again and though Danny couldn't let his guard down he enjoyed himself with his friends.

Another pint of Coke and an hour later Amy pulled him to one side. 'I'd like to go home.'

'Now?'

'Immediately.'

'Okay, but I don't think anyone else is ready.'

'So what?'

'Okay, but let's say bye to people first,' he said puzzled.

'Danny.'

His eyebrow jump with surprise as Amy almost stamped her foot.

'Fine, but I'll have to let someone know we're going.'

'Be quick.'

Danny pulled Calvin aside who asked, 'Is she unwell?'

'Don't think so.'

'The ex-boyfriend?'

'Hope not.'

* * *

Danny and Amy stepped onto the pavement still hot from summer's early arrival. Even at that hour cars trundled along the ever busy Charing Cross Road with open windows. The air smelt sweet as they passed a doughnut vendor.

'You okay?' he asked when linked his arm.

'Yeah?'

'What happened?'

'I saw Brian, with Marlon. Red shirts, it was them at the BBC.'

Danny blanched. 'Did they see you?'

'Don't think so but they must've known you were on Top of the Pops then tracked us to the Astoria.'

'But you don't think they've seen us leave?'

'Not if we were quick enough.'

'I'm not sure we should have left the group.'

'They'll be alright. I'm the main target.'

Covering the fact that the group's safety hadn't been his main concern Danny said, 'What, surely not?'

'Brain's not the worry, it's Marlon. He went mental when I dumped him.'

As Danny's sigh ended a change took place. In accepting the inevitability of the situation, a truth formed and shone through his cowardice. He desired to protect another soul.

He'd been a tall child who fought often. He should have won kudos for winning battles. Younger boys should have known better than to start with him but he generally did well against boys the same age. He rarely backed down from lads older than him and in most cases schoolyard fights got broken up or ended without harm anyway.

Walking silently with Amy on his arm he recalled one particular episode when he'd found himself the victim of an unprovoked attack by a boy two years older than him. Incensed, Danny had met the challenge head on. His attacker fought to save face but Danny hung in until at the end of his energy, he head-butted his foe. By then the older lad had emotionally given up anyway. He collapsed into a foetal position clutching his head until the end of break.

On another occasion Danny fought a boy his own age; again incensed by the injustice of his attacker. On that occasion he did more damage to his opponent than he'd ever seen on any loser's face.

Both these incidents seemed to be ignored by his peers. At that age Danny didn't have the cool of the other kids and as the only child of a single mother his acceptance into the pecking order remained mediocre.

When Danny started secondary school, his outlook to fighting changed immediately with the discovery of two things; gangs and consequence. Never again would Danny fight. He became the victim of bullying. The teachers couldn't help him; he couldn't help himself. And he stood out. Not local to the area he spoke differently. His mother dressed him in homemade clothes cut from outdated patterns or sent him to school in musty jumble sale castoffs. She argued that the haircut which brought about his nickname 'Basin' couldn't be a 'basin haircut' because she hadn't used an actual basin. Every kid in the school had licence to pick on him because every kid knew some other bigger kid. And none of them cared that his mother hadn't actually cut his hair round a bowl.

Rather than face the problem Danny waited until puberty where he sidestepped the problem by exercising his body and saving any money he could to buy urban camouflage. He worked hard to fit in and learnt to avoid his foes. Learning to play guitar had been the first cool thing he'd done.

After escaping to polytechnic he discovered a whole different bunch of characters and no longer felt like an outsider or so individual. He made friends and had girlfriends; some of them so pretty he couldn't believe his luck. But, his self-assurance didn't soar genuinely as he discovered every time he came under fire and saw his courage vanish like smoke in a hurricane.

Now though, here in London's breezeless heat strange effects took place within him. Marlon's anger and assault of Amy had maddened Danny but that the aggressor might now be back for more saturated Danny's being with indignation. Come what may he'd protect Amy.

With only a few feet before Tottenham Court Road's tube station Danny almost felt disappointment as he imagined escaping safely. Or so he thought.

From somewhere behind him, he heard Brian's voice. 'Oi, Danny you pussy.'

Danny slowed as Amy tightened her hold and tried speeding up. He couldn't have cared what insults Brian slung whilst this alien state of mind robbed his normal love of peace.

'Wait up pussy,' Brian's voice sang.

Danny slowed even more.

'Hurry up,' Amy whispered. Without a turn of her head she shouted backwards, 'What's your problem Brian?'

'What's my problem you slag? I'll tell you what my problem is.'

Danny heard nothing specific as Brian ranted about the injustice of Little Spirit's success. Brian's rudeness of Amy confirmed his fate.

'Come on Danny let's go,' Amy pleaded.

'Is that other guy with him?'

Amy flashed a glance. 'Marlon, yeah.'

Brian rambled on. 'Thought you'd have died of the clap by now – putting it about like you do.'

Danny sensed the enemy's closing proximity but hadn't a clue how or when to act. Suddenly Amy yelped. Brian had tugged her hair. Instinct took over and Danny threw an elbow backwards. He heard a snapping squelch.

Pushing Amy clear he turned on Brian who stammered, 'You boke my buddy nose.'

As if finding the excuse he'd been waiting for, Marlon came hurtling in. Now needing Brian finished, Danny belted the ex-drummer's jaw with his elbow.

Amy still staggering on her heels screamed seeing Marlon's freight train attack. Her hands flew to her face in disbelief as Danny sprinted headlong towards Marlon.

Leaping he kicked, emptying Marlon's lungs of air. Danny kept advancing, punching twice and kneeing new breath out of Marlon.

Amy screamed again as a pathetic looking Marlon stumbled into traffic. Cars halted with screeching tyres.

Stepping into the traffic Danny grabbed Marlon and spun him into the middle of the road. Released, Marlon lurched headlong into the stream of rolling iron coming the other way. The first car barely hit the brakes before Marlon rolled over the bonnet and car crumpling on the road behind it.

Danny, sensing that Marlon would be effectively unhurt, stepped onto the now stationary car's bonnet and walked onto the roof from where he jumped knowing he must kill his foe's growing rage before it became effective. With a war cry he flew landing on Marlon's legs.

Marlon's pain echoed around the buildings.

'Enough,' he hollered.

'Why?' Danny demanded.

Amy ran across the road of stationary traffic.

'She's supposed to be mine. I love her.'

'No you don't, you hurt her.'

'She shouldn't have left me.'

'Yes she should , you allowed that prick over there to insult her.'

'I was angry'

'I don't care what you were. If you dare to insult or hurt her again I swear to God I will end you.'

Danny had had enough. He wanted to cry. His body trembled. From somewhere Amy appeared and put her arms round him.

Amy talked to the driver of the car he'd climbed all over. The driver recognised him having seen Top of the Pops just hours earlier.

Dazed, Danny found himself surrounded by the car's female passengers who whooped his identity to stunned pedestrians. He found himself signing shaky autographs before a couple of camera flashes alerted Amy who dragged the stupefied rock star towards the underground.

* * *

Danny didn't remember the tube journey but on the northbound bus he became aware of Amy looking at him.

'You're smiling,' she said.

Danny looked out the window. He felt good; revived.

'It's a long time since I've been that angry,' he said.

'Scary.'

'I'll never be that angry with you.'

'You were angry when I thought you'd drunk that bottle of wine.'

He looked at her. 'No I wasn't; not nearly.'

She smiled too and took his hand but said no more.

Just before their bus stop Danny said, 'I know you don't want to hear this and I know you've got the rest of your exams but ...'

Amy let go of his hand and pressed the bell. 'Come on.'

'... but I've known you for ages and ...' He followed her to the door. '... if anyone's qualified to say this it's me. I ...'

'Thank you,' Amy said to the conductor dryly.

'... love you.'

Amy stepped onto the street and away from the bus and began looking around still half a mile from their door.

'Amy, d'you hear me? I love you – like there's no tomorrow.'

Danny followed but hung back watching her long strides. Up went her hand. 'Taxi.' On the other side of the road a black cab's light went out. It pulled a U-turn. Danny didn't move. Amy stood waiting; hands on hips.

The taxi stopped and she opened the door. 'Get in.'

Danny obeyed and she climbed in beside him and told the driver where they needed to be.

Amy sat facing forwards.

Danny sat side on. 'I wish you'd talk to me. It's not easy telling someone you love them when they say nothing back.'

'On the left please,' she told the driver a minute later.

Danny started saying, 'I wish you'd take a chance with me. It's like gigging. You've got to gig to know you're good enough. I know you're worried and think—'

Amy opened the door and handed the driver two pound notes. 'Keep the change.'

Danny fell out after her. '... But if you don't take a chance you'll never know what tomorrow brings.'

Amy had a key in the door.

'Amy! I can't hide how I feel any longer.'

She turned round and looking up and down said, 'I can see that.'

She vanished inside.

Danny straightened up and followed her. Half way up the stairs he stopped seeing her waiting on the landing.

'Amy—'

'Danny.' She didn't move. Neither did he. 'Are you gonna stay there all night?'

Step by step he approached stopping one from the top. His eyes levelled on hers.

Amy's hands cupped his face. 'Danny I've loved you for so long. I've dreamed of kissing you, of waking with you.'

He moved in but she held his face from hers. Quite by accident he touched her thighs. A soft moan betrayed her feelings. Her eyes closed and Danny waited as she touched her lips to his ear.

She whispered, 'I've never wanted you more than I do now.'

Danny groaned and stared into Amy's half-closed eyes as she brought her mouth more slowly than he could bear to his. Even when she caressed his lips with hers she held off, as if savouring the simplicity of touch.

Her lips opened freeing months of bottled lust which emerged from him and her like lion and lioness.

Danny wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her and slammed backwards against his door. A hand fumbled the knob and they fell into his room and into the bookcase. Danny banged a hand out before it fell. Records spilled from the shelves.

Ignoring the mess as Danny laid her on his desk. Sprawling, books and stationery scattered.

She clawed his T-shirt over his head. Tearing himself free of unwanted T-shirt he found her stripping off her jacket.

They only made for the bed after making love against the wardrobe, on the windowsill, the chair, against the bookcase and again on the table.

## Friday 18th May 1984

Around 10am the next morning Amy woke to the sound of voices outside Danny's window. Before sleep she'd promised herself that she'd shower and dress before Danny woke.

Danny slept on but as she lifted her head from his chest she heard a key in the front door. The outside voices then sounded inside. The others must have stayed out.

Though she'd dreamed of the previous night she knew she'd never stand Danny seeing her naked in the next day's light.

Trapped, unable to escape his room she unstuck her hair from her face and ignoring that last night's makeup must look awful crawled gingerly towards the foot of the bed intent on getting a T-shirt from the drawers below his wardrobe.

Aware of her bottom in the air she knew she'd die if Danny woke up now. With one hand on the first available T-shirt, she turned seeing her bra on the floor.

As she tried to reach it the voices appeared on the landing.

Danny stirred.

She prayed his eyes would stay shut but heard Katherine querying their whereabouts. She managed to turn round on all fours when—

'Knock knock, anyone body home?' Katherine said banging on the door.

Amy's jaw dropped.

Danny's eyes sprang open.

'Come in everyone, he called.

With no time to get into bed, Amy dropped the clothes. Grabbing the duvet she covered herself but exposed Danny who promptly yanked it back.

The door opened before the tug of war had ended.

Katherine screamed covering her eyes. 'You said come in.'

'Danny's fault,' Amy yelled as Katherine retreated.

'Let me know when you're decent,' she said behind the door again.

Amy and Danny got cuddled and pulled the duvet under their chins.

'Okay, ready,' Danny said.

Katherine came back in with Calvin and Raphael on her heels and saw the bedroom reverted to its previously messy form. 'I love what you've done with the place.'

'It was Danny's idea,' Amy said.

'Shall we come back in half an hour?' Raphael said.

'Might be best,' Danny said.

They backed out shutting the door.

Amy slapped Danny's shoulder. 'I can't believe you let her come in.'

'I wanted them to see how beautiful you look in the morning.'

Unable to reach her bra she grabbed the T-shirt she'd pilfered from Danny's draw before realising she'd actually snaffled a pair of shorts.

'That was mean,' she said throwing them at the wardrobe.

'Amy,' Danny said getting out of bed and standing shamelessly in the only bit of carpet left uncluttered, 'you look beautiful and I want to see you right now.'

Sunlight washed through net curtains surrounding his physique.

'You're crazy,' she said pulling the duvet higher.

'Let me see you.'

'No.'

Danny took the bottom corner of the duvet and tugged.

'Stop it Danny.'

'Let go.'

'Never.' Amy had no intention of letting go despite Danny's eyes looking kind.

'If you don't, I'll shout for everyone to come in here right now.'

Amy said nothing.

Danny felt her resolve weaken as he pulled harder. Eventually, still holding eye contact, she let go. He watched her roll onto her side and hug her breasts. As the last of the covers disappeared she pointed her toes.

'There you are. Beautiful,' he said.

'You can't mean it.'

'I can't stand before you like this and lie.'

* * *

Everyone knew that night's Water Rats gig would be Little Spirit's last bar show. In less than a week they'd be playing stadiums and concert halls.

Amy stayed in bed with Danny until he left for the gig. She pieced his room back together and waited for Katherine to finish her shift.

When they headed into London Katherine explained that after the Astoria everyone including Richard had headed to Trudie's apartment where they'd all crashed.

Amy still had concerns and couldn't believe that Danny fancied her – especially without clothes. 'There must be other girls he fancies more.'

'All men fancy other women,' Katherine said. 'All women fancy other men.'

'I suppose, but you're super beautiful; Calvin couldn't possibly fancy anyone else.'

'That's kind of you to say but he confessed he fancied his video shoot model.'

'Really?'

'Yeah. The way I see it is if he didn't fancy other women it's because he doesn't fancy women so that'd be me done for.'

'You weren't worried that he'd try it on with his model?'

'Not the least. Nor did I think that girl from Sounds would get anywhere with him.'

'You're very secure.'

'Goes both ways. I fancied Johnny Won.'

'No,' Amy said shocked. 'Did you tell Calvin?'

'Yeah. I'd choose Calvin over him in a heartbeat. Nothing happened.'

'So if Johnny had come on to you, you'd have knocked him back?'

'Probably.'

'Only probably?'

'Actually, he's a terrible example.'

'But you said you'd choose Calvin?'

'I know but one night with Johnny Won ...'

Amy watched Katherine disappear into her imagination. 'And you told Calvin this?'

'God no – just the bit about me choosing him.'

'I'm must confess I quite fancied their drummer, Stu.'

'There you go, it was harmless wasn't it? Danny's waited so long for you he's not gonna jeopardise it with someone else.'

'You reckon?'

'I've been rooting for him for months. I wouldn't have bothered if I thought he was worthless.' Katherine grinned. 'So anyway how was last night?'

'You know, months ago I felt so jealous when I brought you and Calvin breakfast after your first night together. D'you remember the state of his room?'

'Hmm,' Katherine smiled. 'You certainly trashed Danny's.'

'Yeah,' Amy said before, 'Oh my God I haven't told you. Danny beat the crap out of Brian and Marlon.'

'What?'

By the time she'd told Katherine everything from Brian's appearance at Top of the Pops to Danny jumping over cars and signing autographs they'd arrived at The Rats.

John and Gareth met them and together they went in and found the band signing autographs and Grace managing the queue.

Everyone eventually settle round a table and Stosh joined them as Gareth appeared with a round of drinks.

Danny said to Stosh, 'You must be about ready to move house.'

'Don't remind me. I'm a few days away from homelessness.'

'What d'you mean – that's not what you said last time?'

'It was all sorted ...' Stosh went quiet.

'What happened?'

He shook his head. 'There was this five-piece band – The Devotios. The guitarist's a mate of mine. The singer/bass player has an uncle who's emigrating to Oz any day now.

'Right?' Danny said.

Calvin leaned in to listen.

'Well this uncle has a house in Enfield ...'

Raphael cut short his chit-chat with Grace.

'... It's a three bed semi and he was doing it up to let whilst he's in Oz. He converted the loft so it's four bed now.'

Amy and Katherine started listening as did Grace.

'Whilst he was working on his own house the semi next door came on the market. It needed doing up so was going cheap.'

'I'm sensing business potential,' John said.

'Right,' Stosh agreed. 'The uncle had sold his business, had more than enough for somewhere in Oz but nothing to do whilst papers and things got sorted overseas.'

'He didn't buy the house next door did he?'

'Yup, great price. Tidied it up nicely and converted the attic.'

'Good for him.'

'Right,' Danny said. 'So what about this band?'

'The Devotios. They, the singer's girlfriend and me were supposed to move in. Seven of us in all. One spare room between both houses.'

'But?'

'The singer's much better at computers than singing. Some company in America offered him a job over there. The band collapsed just like that and the whole thing was off.'

'Travesty.'

'The singer was the lynchpin. I suggested to my mate that we move into one house and get a couple of others along but he didn't want to. Said the whole point was the band. The rent was good too.'

Stosh went quiet then said, 'Why's everyone looking at me?'

Calvin said, 'We're looking to move and places don't hang around plus Enfield isn't too far from where we are now.'

'Are you thinking the four of us in one house?'

'I'm coming too,' Amy said.

'Oh.'

'Hang on,' Katherine said. 'There's six of us if we include Stosh.'

'Yeah but we only need five rooms,' Calvin pointed out.

'There's only six decent sized rooms,' Stosh said. 'The attics are big but the fourth bedrooms are tiny.'

'I don't want a tiny room again.' Amy folded her arms.

Danny looked at her but she shook her head; message received, message understood. Amy didn't want to share a room with him, yet.

'Wait a sec.' Katherine thought for a moment. 'If we could take both houses and keep both fourth bedrooms for storage we'd only need one more person.'

'Me.'

Everyone looked at Grace.

'Grace?' Raphael said.

'Why not? Enfield's half way between my mum's and work. So I'd save time and money on travel but could still see her, and friends. I'm nearly twenty so it's time I moved out. As long as we sell records I'll have a wage and, I really like you guys.'

No one looked happier than Stosh. 'Guys, if we can swing this you've just saved my life.'

'Great,' John said. 'Let's give this uncle a ring. Properties, as Calvin says, don't hang around.'

'Oh.' Stosh looked crestfallen.

'What – don't you have his number?'

'I can't even remember his name.'

'You know where the house is. Can we visit it?'

'Probably not. He's supposed to move to temporary accommodation today. We were meant to move in after this weekend.'

'Your guitarist mate can lead us to the singer?'

'Doubt it. The singer's already flown. Took his girlfriend with him.'

John turned to Gareth, 'Any suggestions?'

Gareth asked Stosh, 'What does the singer do?'

'Jason, he develops software.'

'Me too, who's he gone to work for?'

'Can't remember. Wait, it's a substantial company, the one with the American kid at the helm.'

'Microsoft?'

'Sounds familiar. He mentioned DOS?'

'Leave it with me I'll find him.' Gareth took a note of the singer's name. 'I'll get my secretary to chase this up.'

'It's the weekend you know?' Danny said.

'True, I'll get her on it first thing Monday morning.'

Raphael said, 'First thing Monday morning – not a time we recognise in Rock 'n' Roll.'

'No. I'll leave that to you guys, 'Gareth said. 'Although, I did make a guitar out of Lego once.'

He flicked through a Daily Star someone had left behind. 'Speaking of Rock 'n' Roll have you seen this?'

Everyone looked at the image of Danny signing autographs on page-7 underneath the headline: _Is this the hardest band in Britain?_ A paragraph said Smash Hits had asked whether rising stars Little Spirit are ' _the hardest_ working _band in Britain?'_ The newspaper described Danny's fracas as per an eyewitness before reiterating the question: _'Is this the hardest band in Britain?'_

'No publicity's bad publicity,' Raphael said.

## Monday 21st May 1984

The phone rang. Amy took it.

Having taken residence of the settee again, Raphael woke when Calvin and Danny joined him a moment before Amy arrived waving a pad of paper.

'That was John,' she said. 'People have been busy.'

'What do you know?' Raphael said.

'Gareth's secretary contacted Microsoft through their connections and left a message of urgency for Jason Chapman—'

'Ze singer?'

Amy nodded. 'He rang Gareth's secretary back saying he's pleased for his uncle knowing there's still interested tenants. Understandably his uncle was devastated when it all fell through. Anyway he said he'd phone his mum, the uncle's sister, and sort out.'

'So where are we now?' Calvin asked.

'Gareth's secretary gave John's number to Jason. Evidently messages have been passed about and John's just had a call from the uncle – the man himself.'

'The landlord, blimey.'

Amy checked her notes. 'The uncle's called Leyton Green. Apparently there're lots of tenants interested. Leyton also said that the rent was reduced to "mates' rates" on account of the previous deal involving family.'

'Doesn't sound so good now,' Danny said.

'Maybe but John thinks he's bluffing. He'll come with us and make sure we get a fair price.'

'Nice one,' Calvin said.

'So,' Amy said checking her notes again, 'tomorrow we need to check if Grace is on-board and whether Stosh can meet us for a viewing. John's agreed a 6pm meeting at the properties so let's hope it's quiet enough in the pub for Katherine to get away early.'

'Well done Amy.'

'That's not all. John says if we're to argue the rent we need to know the going rates so we should get across early and visit the letting agents.'

'If we have to move quick,' Danny said frowning, 'what do with do with this place?'

'Pay till the end of the agreement,' Calvin said without missing a beat.

'Not like you to be so frivolous with money mate.'

'Tenancy's up end of June so it's no biggy. It shouldn't matter now but I'd prefer idiots like Brian didn't know where we live. The sooner we cut our losses and move on the better.'

## Tuesday 22nd May 1984

At 6pm that evening the three bandmates, two girls and Stosh stood on Ennerdale Close behind North Circular Road.

'A perfect pair,' Raphael said looking at the two houses.

'Don't let the landlord know that,' Amy said.

'Keep our cards close to our chest I know but look at ze drive.'

'Here comes boss-man,' Danny said spotting John's Jaguar XJ-S pull into the close.

When he got out he asked about their rental evaluations. Stosh told him but the initial deal Leyton Green had offered couldn't be beaten. By the time Leyton turned up a crowd of ten had gathered. Grace's mum, Faith talked for Grace and everyone else until having looked both houses over John took over the negotiations.

It seemed that although Leyton had been gutted when the previous deal fell through he had found serious interest in one of the houses at higher rent.

John went to the boot of his Jag and produced a briefcase. They all headed into what they hoped would be one their new dining rooms.

With paper, pen and calculator John worked figures and magic, illustrating how Leyton would save money on letting agent's fees and avoiding down periods where the other house would be empty.

Even Faith kept quiet and John convinced Leyton to go ahead on both houses at the original rates provided they paid the first six months in advance which everyone agreed would come from the ample Vanquar advance with Stosh paying his first term's rent to the Little Spirit bank account.

Before Leyton could back out Richard wrote the cheque and Leyton handed over the keys.

## Wednesday 23rd May 1984

The deal on the new houses came together so quickly there wouldn't have been time to move without a dawn start. Richard allowed Grace a day off and Stosh's guitarist mate helped him move – gutted that he'd missed out on living with the girls. Stosh offered him one of the box rooms but he declined the smaller room.

Raphael chose the attic room of the first house, Number-8, with Stosh and Danny taking the first floor rooms.

Danny and Amy agreed to live in separate houses but have sleepovers as they saw fit.

Grace took the attic in the other house, Number-10, pleased to be sharing with Amy and Katherine and Calvin.

Katherine left midmorning to go to work and by 3pm the band drove Stosh into London and headed on to Wembley Arena to take the first support slot for Brewster Springfield.

* * *

At 11pm all the tenants congregated in the dining room of Number-10 excited to have new places to live but mostly excited to hear how Little Spirit had got on.

'It was alright,' Danny said.

'Only alright?' Grace asked.

'Richard did warn us. And he was spot on. We're only there to warm the crowds up for Springfield. It simply wasn't our crowd.'

'I understand,' Stosh said. 'The crowd buy tickets for Springfield and in that state he's all they want.'

'So much for the book The Crowd.'

'The best support bands I've seen are the ones who know their place. They make out like they're there to see the main act too,' Stosh said.

'Like we're all in it together?'

'Exactly.'

'That should get ze audience on our side,' Raphael said.

'Did you see him?' Stosh asked.

'Springfield?' Raphael said. 'No, not backstage anyway.'

'Okay well the fans don't need to know that. Tell them Brewster Springfield's backstage. They'll go nuts. Tell them he's getting ready and whilst he does that you're gonna play some songs. They'll be much more receptive.'

'Roll on tomorrow's gig,' Raphael said cheerfully.

Thursday 31st May

The following Thursday Amy finished her exams. Katherine couldn't join her in celebration as she had to work her last ever shift in The Dog and Parrot and didn't finish until after 11pm. And with Danny still away in Sheffield on the last night of Springfield's UK tour she didn't feel too celebratory despite having convinced herself she'd done well.

Her feelings soon changed though as, after midnight the van reversed onto Number-8's drive and partying broke out. Not only had Katherine finished her time at the pub but Trudie had assigned her a band to style on her return from Saint Tropez.

Calvin topped Katherine's glass up.

'Not too much baby. Remember me and Amy are flying first thing and people have been buying me drinks all night.'

'Sorry love, have you got everything packed?'

'I have,' Katherine said with a hiccup. 'And I've done your packing for Brighton too.'

## Friday 01st June 1984

The next morning at 8am Katherine's alarm sounded. By 9am both she and Amy had kissed their partners goodbye; not that their lips felt much through exhaustive hangovers. They tiptoed each jarring step to the nearby train station.

Katherine and Amy had expected to buy flights to the Mediterranean but the ever generous John had timed things with a business jet and three hours later the girls and John boarded the plane. They sat with coffees when the 'Fasten Seatbelts' light came on.

Two hours later following fluid and a little more sleep the plane made its final descent. An hour after that and Katherine lost Amy and herself in the hugging arms of more Saint Tropez friends than she'd ever seen around the marina.

Though the holiday season hadn't fully begun Katherine, whilst being swept along to the yacht club by a thirty strong group under a brilliant blue sky, noticed a scarcity of spare berths and a high degree of busyness. She remembered that the previous day had been the Ascension Day national holiday so of course many French people would be taking an extra day off and enjoying the extended weekend.

At the bar Elaine handed her an erupting champagne flute.

'I'd rather just have a lime and soda,' Katherine said accepting the glass anyway.

'No soda when there's champagne,' Elaine said. 'It's the day before the happiest day of my life. I must have had a bottle already. You need to catch up.'

'By the look on your face I'd say today's the happiest of your life.'

'Probably. I'm just so happy to see you again Katherine. I'm just so sorry for all that rubbish months ago.'

'Elaine I'm sorry, I'm still so embarrassed. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you.'

'But you ... you've no idea have you?'

'No idea about what?'

'You,' Elaine said and pinched Katherine's cheek playfully.

'Are you sure you haven't drunk a case of this stuff?'

'I wasn't supposed to say anything,' Elaine said looking over her shoulder conspiratorially, 'but there was just the teensiest problem with the venue.'

Katherine's face fell. 'I bloody knew something was amiss.'

'No, no, shush.' Elaine made flamboyant calming gestures. 'Your wonderful mum, she's sorted it all out. It's going to be the best wedding ever. I can't believe you kept her from us.'

'My mum? What are you on about Elaine? And that venue was lovely. What could possibly go wrong?'

'Shush,' Elaine put her arm round her. 'It was lovely but at Christmas there was a get together in Scotland and suddenly the number of guests went up. We needed a bigger place. John told your mum and somehow we ended up with a bigger venue. Katherine you look upset. None of this is your fault.'

'I don't understand. Is my mum off on some glory seeking quest?'

'No, she's done us a massive favour.'

'I don't understand. You're saying a year ago when we lived out here, right where you're getting married we worked hard to find a venue and when it became too small my mum, who's never even been here before John flew her out, sorts out a replacement venue two months before the big day?'

'Yes. Well, it wasn't quite like that but—'

'It doesn't make sense how does anyone find a venue that size so close to the date?'

'I'm sure she'll explain when she gets here.'

'I don't know why someone couldn't just tell me. Why the need for secrecy and where's Amy?

Elaine looked around, 'She's there.'

Looking in her direction Katherine saw Amy at the door of the bar looking lost. Elaine grabbed another champagne flute and waved her over.

'I'm sorry to be tetchy; still feeling fragile after last night,' Katherine said. 'Tomorrow will be fantastic.'

Amy joined them shielded her eyes. 'God it's bright out there.'

'Maybe you're dehydrated. Have some champagne,' Elaine said handing her the glass.

'Where've you been?' Katherine asked.

'I hung back with John. He says there's an incredible liner sized yacht in Port Grimaud where we'll be staying tonight and that's where everyone's going after the church.'

'The venue's a ship? Did he mention my mum arranged it?'

'Err, he said you're not supposed to know that?'

'Did he tell you anything else I'm not supposed to know?'

'No,' Amy said sheepishly, 'of course not.'

'Are you sure?'

'Only that Barbara would explain everything when she arrived.'

Katherine turned to see Loretta swanning in.

'Thought it was you,' Loretta said. Katherine returned her unconvincing hug. 'Everyone's drinking I see.'

'Yeah,' Katherine said. 'Can I just ask how long have you known about this ship in the next bay?'

Loretta's smile waivered. 'Aw, I hated not telling you.'

Katherine shook her head. 'Do you know why it's a secret?'

'No. I know your mum thinks the world of you. She made a point of saying that.'

'She did,' Elaine agreed. 'Blimey it's half five I dare say Barbara will be along shortly.'

'I wonder whereabouts we'll sleep?' Amy said.

Katherine wound her watch on an hour and didn't look at anyone. 'Probably the boiler room or some other rusty iron compartment.'

Elaine and Loretta exchanged glances.

Katherine managed to calm down as the number of people dwindled with the vanishing champagne.

The girls found a table when John arrived and though the conversation lightened Katherine noticed Amy massaged her temples but hardly spoke and John appeared serious.

An hour had passed when both Elaine and Loretta made to leave but bumped into Barbara coming in. Everyone stood up.

Katherine couldn't miss the confident stride, loose-styled blonde hair set off by a tan which contrasted remarkably with the fitted beige outfit.

'You got a hug for your mum?'

Katherine looked down at her mum's heeled sandals and wondered how much they'd cost. She hardly recognised the lady who looked as though she stepped off the set of Dallas.

'Katherine?'

Looking up Katherine said nothing. Barbara turned to John. 'What does she know?'

'She knows you arranged the Perso Principessa.'

'Who told her?'

'Can't hang around big day tomorrow,' Elaine said fleeing with Loretta.

Barbara turned back to Katherine and said, 'Come on let's get going.'

'I'm not going anywhere until this secrecy gets explained.'

'How about I explain everything when we get on board.'

'I presume Perso Principessa is the tin bath you've had tugged in.'

Barbara's jaw dropped. She stepped back but then she smiled. 'Yes love, it's all I could manage at short notice.'

'Oh come here mum.' Katherine drew her in for a hug. 'There better be a good reason for all this.'

John took them back to his boat where the girls picked up their luggage.

'Will you be alright?' he asked Barbara. Katherine and Amy left them to have a moment together before the three women took a bus journey along the Route Départementale coast road. Still shielding her eyes from the sun's glare Amy regarded lush green trees pass and wondered whether they'd be such brilliant colours after summer's dryness. Ten minutes later the yachts of a far bigger marina appeared. Barbara got up first.

On the baked pavement Katherine looked over the expansive network of quays and pontoons. 'Where now?'

Barbara pointed out to sea. 'There.'

Looking away from the marina Katherine saw a meringue-white super-yacht gleaming with newness. 'My god, it really does look like a liner. How in all things holy did you sort that out?'

'I promise all will be explained,' Barbara said leading the way along to a pontoon where a man in a crisp white sailor's uniform sat reading a book in a dinghy.

'Good evening ladies,' he said jumping to attention and offering an assisting hand. 'I say in advance welcome aboard Perso Principessa. My name is Giovanni.'

Once everyone had settled he ripped the outboard's starter cord. Amy took her shoes off and sitting on the dinghy's inflatable wall hooked her feet under the boat's parallel wall.

'Are you Italian?' she asked.

'Yes.'

'Is that your yacht?'

'Heavens no. I'm just one of forty crew members.'

Leaning in for fear of toppling overboard Amy looked out with the sun behind them as the harbour wall passed revealing a clear sight of the offshore gin-palace.

'How will all the wedding guests get aboard?' she asked over the engine's buzz.

'This dinghy can tow up to twenty guests at a time on water skis,' he said looking pleased with his wit. When Amy didn't respond he said, 'Gangplank. We're berthing along Saint Tropez's northern breakwater tomorrow.'

Giovanni opened the throttle and in minutes had zoomed across crystal waters to the stern where Amy saw a low deck.

'Ahoy,' Giovanni shouted to another sailor. A moment later a portion of the deck lowered becoming a step.

Safely aboard the sailor took Katherine and Amy's bags. Barbara excused herself despite Katherine's reluctance to let her go.

Giovanni said, 'Let me first show you where you'll dine.'

They walked along low ceilinged corridors to a magnificent dining room where a handful of guests relaxed enjoying the service.

The walnut decoration and contemporary art almost took Amy's breath away. 'This is spectacular.'

'Isn't it? The wedding breakfast will be served here extending out on to the deck.' Giovanni pointed to the glass doors. 'Tonight however you will dine with the yacht's owner. Follow me please.'

He led them to a higher deck and a smaller vacant dining room with similarly opulent ornamentation.

Giovanni looked at his watch. 'Can I respectfully request you be here in forty-five minutes? The captain does not like to be kept waiting.'

'And will my mum be joining us?'

'To my knowledge. If that's all I'll show you your rooms.'

Down two flights of steps and along another low corridor Giovanni unlocked the door to a compact but lavish twin room.

'If you're unsure of the way back I'll escort you shortly.'

'We'll find our way,' Katherine said and Giovanni left them to freshen up.

* * *

Forty minutes later the girls walked back through the ship's corridors.

Katherine said, 'You seem awfully quiet Amy.'

'I know.'

Amy didn't feel great but couldn't think what might be wrong other than what lay ahead for Katherine.

Back on the higher deck a waitress held the door for them. After the sailors' whites her uniform seemed strikingly dark. She seated them at an unoccupied table bathed in the evening's sunlight before leaving with their drink order.

'Thanks for being such a good friend,' Amy said.

'My pleasure. How are you feeling?'

'Still feeling fragile from last night and maybe a touch of motion sickness.'

'The sea's flat calm. Hopefully eating something will help. Can you smell freshly chopped peppers?'

'I can and I know it smells good but I'm not fancying food.'

'You'll be fine. I hope my mum's not going to be late given Giovanni's insistence on punctuality.'

The drinks arrived but Barbara didn't show. Instead a desperately handsome tanned man in a shiny dark blue suit appeared.

'Good evening wonderful guests,' he said striding to the table. Instinctively both girls stood. 'What a pleasure this is.'

He made first for Amy and greeted her by name and kisses to both cheeks. He then faced Katherine. 'Ah Katherine you are truly a sight to behold.'

'Thank you,' she said as everyone took their place at the table. 'I'm sorry, my mum appears to be late.'

'Not a problem,' the captain said with a single fingered wave. 'Barbara will be along presently.'

'Oh,' Katherine said and looked at Amy.

Amy looked back with a perplexed squint. 'I can't see your face. Oh no, I've got migraine. I need darkness. Quick.'

At once the captain stood and clicked his fingers.

The waitress appeared and she summoned a sailor. 'Take Amy to her cabin see that she's comfortable. Give her water and aspirin. Stay with her if necessary.'

Amy stood on shaky legs and took the sailor's arm.

'Come and find me when you need me,' she said to Katherine.

Not understanding what she meant Katherine watched her go then turned to her host. He motioned her to sit.

Katherine estimated he'd be late forties but in spectacular health. His hair, soft and black, had neither receded nor greyed. She knew she should feel uncomfortable with this stranger but couldn't help but relax in the company of such rare beauty.

'I'm sure Amy will be fine,' he said in liquid tones; his accent more American than Italian. 'Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Lanzo Valli and I have a story for you.'

'I'm afraid I'm wondering what I'm doing on this yacht, how you come to be facilitating my friend's wedding and most importantly what my mum's got to do with all of this?'

'Of course. Perhaps I should mention that your mother and I were friends a lifetime ago. With the help of your friend John she tracked me down and it seemed we had plenty to discuss.'

'I can't believe my mum knows someone as rich as you.'

Lanzo laughed and Katherine relaxed.

'My family have enjoyed a century of wealth but never so much as now. I must have been eighteen when I met Barbara. Having left school at sixteen I'd spent two years toiling on the farm.'

'No way,' Katherine said shaking her head.

Lanzo smiled. 'If you'll permit me I feel you should know some history. The Vallis have always been farmers, growing olives and tomatoes near Roma in Italy. In the 1890s the family planned to relocate in America; the first wave of Vallis landed in Philadelphia one hostile winter. Soon they headed south setting up outside Tulsa, Oklahoma. Though the olives struggled, the tomatoes thrived and every season the Vallis acquired more land.

'The family however missed Italy and rather than a full immigration members travelled between the two countries for years at a time. My grandfather and his sons were fascinated with all things mechanical and anything to make the farming of tomatoes easier. All the sailing got them interested in ships too.'

The waitress sorted them out with more drinks as Katherine listened wondering why this man felt the need to recite history and why he thought that'd interest her. Her tummy rumbled.

'Twenty years later the family got involved with the American company Timken and bought into it. That led them to England and David Brown tractors who were in partnership with them. They kept an eye on the company and invested heavily. Years later my father met an interesting fellow linked to the company called Edward.'

'My grandfather by any chance?' Katherine asked searching for relevance.

'The very same. Every year they'd meet and together propose deals to David Brown Limited. They'd also visit farms all over England seeing what equipment they used and how they got on. In the meantime my brother and I left school but continued learning engineering and business.'

'Whilst getting dirty on the farm.'

'Pulling levers and grinding cogs mainly.'

'You're too pretty for that.'

'Yes, well, my father thought so too and after a few years of learning the trade he put me in a suit and together we headed to England where I met your grandfather and your mother who I thought was good enough to eat; forgive me.'

'I bet she thought the same of you.'

'Well, your grandfather, though lovely, was a strict man. Nevertheless I looked forward to the next annual visit.'

'So what happened?'

'The next year was great but the year after that Barbara changed. She'd have been seventeen. When I spoke to her recently she said she was rebelling against her parents.'

'And then some. Did she tell you they never spoke for years?'

'Sure did. It must have been eighteen months before the next England trip. There was no sign of her. Ruined the whole trip for me. I dared to ask after Barbara and was told she'd moved to the coast and that she had rocks in her head. Your grandfather could be unbelievably stubborn I hope you don't mind my saying.'

'I understand. You're right though. My mum's just as bad.'

'She is that and I was about to find out how. I tracked her down – all the way to her front door. If us Vallis are known for anything it's persuasion and persistence. Anyway she was out. A neighbour told me she'd gone to the market. I headed back to the town centre and tramped up and down the market place until I found her.'

'And?'

'I found her pushing a pram.'

'Was that a surprise?'

'Big one. She looked so beautiful but I could tell the joy had drained from her. At that time the baby must only have been three or four months old.'

'Was she happy to see you?'

'Initially, but she didn't want to talk. She took a lot of persuading. Eventually we walked to the harbour and along the pier where we stayed for what seemed like hours.'

'Did you really?' Katherine felt spooked by the coincidence having recalled her and Calvin's rendezvous on Saint Tropez's pier.

'You must be hungry.'

Lanzo called the waitress and asked that Barbara be summoned. Katherine felt so hungry she guessed she'd pick the first thing on the menu. The sooner the kitchen got cooking the better.

'All our chefs are Italian you could throw darts at the menu and I guarantee you'd not be disappointed. But tonight no menu. Allow me to feed you.'

'Okay, I guess I'll trust you but I don't know what I've done to deserve this kindness. I don't know who's paying for my accommodation here.'

Lanzo laughed unreservedly. 'It's good to laugh like that. Katherine, having you here is an honour. You and your friend may wine, dine and sleep at my pleasure.'

'You're very generous thank you and I won't argue with you not when I'm so curious to know what happened next – after the pier or is that the end?'

'Not really. The shock of seeing Barbara unhappy had prompted me to action. I wanted to help but couldn't get over the first hurdle. Barbara laid it out plain and simple: she was married with a baby and that was the end of it. If she felt she didn't need or want help what more could I do?'

'What if she said she'd wanted help?'

'I don't know. I hadn't time to put that together. I could have taken her to America with the baby. Maybe Alan too; kept him out the mines. Kept an eye out to make sure they were okay.'

'Would have been drastic. I can see why my mum gave it to you like she did. So what did happen?'

'I left and never saw her again; until a few months ago.'

'Seems a shame.'

'What could we do but get on with our lives? I never went back to England because your granddad, in his stubbornness forgive me, drew a line under the latest deal. The Valli's persistence and persuasion had met its match. My dad reckons they could have changed the face of British farming. He was always ambitious like that.'

'Is he still alive?'

'He's in his eighties but very much so. Anyway we headed back to Oklahoma and thought to turn our machines from horizontal to vertical ventures.'

'What d'you mean?'

'We went down. Eventually we hit oil.'

'Blimey.'

'Very exciting. My brother and I were right at the heart of it. It soon ran dry but the family business really changed a gear with that. Now we've got interests all over the place. We still produce tomatoes and olives but we buy struggling businesses and give them what they need. One of our Italian companies builds luxury yachts.'

'This incredible vessel?'

'Indeed.'

'I've been aboard a lot of boats in the last twelve months but never anything like this. It's in a league of its own.'

'That's lovely to hear. I'm particularly proud of this one. Clients charter her and crew. She's just sailed in from Porto Cervo, Sardinia. I was extremely excited on launch day. It was the first happy day I'd had in months.'

'Happy days thin on the ground for you too?'

'They were for a while.'

Katherine smiled having decided she liked Lanzo but also overawed that she could be having such an easy conversation with someone so successful.

'So what made you unhappy?'

'Let me first say, when your mum made contact – wow.'

'Really?'

'Really. I thought of your mum often but the moment I landed in Oklahoma love struck.'

'Oh.'

'Yeah. I fell in love with a Texan lady who happened to look similar to Barbara. We married and tried for children; without luck.' Lanzo wore a faraway expression. 'Turned out she had ovarian cysts.'

'That's awful. Poor lady.'

'It was okay we enjoyed a happy marriage and made a fuss of our nieces and nephews.'

'But?'

'Cancer. She eventually lost the battle.'

'That's awful,' Katherine said again not knowing what else to say.

'Twelve months later the company launched Perso Principessa; Italian for Lost Princess.'

Saying nothing Katherine nodded her understanding.

'And, eight months after that I get a call from a John Saunders saying your mum wants to make contact. Another lost princess.'

'Sounds as though my mum had quite an effect on you; before your wife I mean.'

'She did.'

'Forgive my saying but you couldn't have known each other all that well.'

'We had time. The trips to England lasted six weeks but Barbara and I had,' he thought for a moment, 'zing. That we never acted on it only served to exacerbate it.' He looked towards the door. 'Here she is.'

Katherine turned in her seat not believing the approaching woman could be the same one who'd raised her and her sisters.

'Mum you look astonishing,' she said eying the figure hugging dress; deep blue like Lanzo's suit.

'Thank you love. You look astonishing too – as always. And what do you think of our handsome captain?'

'We've been getting along fine.'

'That's good to hear. Where's Amy?'

'Below deck with migraine.'

'Goodness, it's just been the two of you?'

Katherine looked back at him feeling, as she had when she'd first met Calvin, that he seemed both familiar and new.

Soon waiting staff arrived with champagne bucket, bread and olive oil with balsamic vinegar.

'Amy's missing out,' Katherine said.

Lanzo agreed. A platter of various meats and cheeses arrived in the centre of the table.

'Dig in everyone,' he said helping himself to the meats. 'You may never have tasted food like this before. The meats have been cured in very specific ways. A lot of Italian love goes into all food aboard Perso Principessa.'

Katherine could taste some things she recognised but plenty of new flavours from both the cheeses and meats.

The staff cleared the plates away and replaced them with new ones, more wine and plenty more fine foods. Pastas, sauces, veal and steaks arrived for them to savour.

In between a commentary of the history and preparation of the tortellini, prosciutto and parmigiano Lanzo asked questions about Katherine.

Compared to his life she felt her school days and life in general lacked colour. Katherine directed questions back to Lanzo and watched out for the zing he'd described. Her mum and Lanzo appeared largely at ease with one another but occasionally their laughter would stop, like they'd remembered they shouldn't be laughing.

They ate and ate; the staff bringing more flavours, smells and textures to sample. After a while Katherine decided she couldn't and wouldn't eat another thing.

Nevertheless, crystal bowls of ice cream arrived. Katherine slurped down more wine in preparation before scooping up the frosted perfection.

After they'd finished Lanzo looked at her and asked, 'How do you feel?'

Katherine rubbed her tummy and said, 'So stuffed I can barely speak.'

'That's good. How was the wine, gone to your head?'

'I'm alright.'

'Okay, how about we finish with coffee?'

'I doubt there's room. I should check on Amy.'

'Of course but please after coffees. Shall we?'

Lanzo stood and Barbara followed in an almost rehearsed manner. They walked to the door and Katherine fell in behind them.

Lanzo looked at one of his staff. 'Coffee in the lounge please.'

They entered another resplendent room. Katherine sat as instructed and, picking up the vibe from her mum and Lanzo, readied herself for serious news.

'I'm sensing tension so think I should thank you for the meal now.'

Lanzo smiled making her like him more. 'You're very welcome. And you're right to detect tension. We have information to share with you. Neither of us can predict how you'll take it.'

Katherine tried to keep an open mind guessing she'd have to wait for coffee before they'd begin. She wondered whether they'd decided to marry. Could her mum be pregnant?

The staff appeared quickly with the coffee but didn't rush pouring it.

'It's fine,' Lanzo said dismissing them.

'It would have been nice for you to have had a friend with you but we can't put this off any longer,' Lanzo said passing Katherine a coffee.

'Okay,' she said thinking pregnancy might be all the more likely.

'I think I was fairly thorough with my life story earlier. God knows I've been over it enough times in anticipation of this moment.' Lanzo leaned toward Katherine and spoke softly. 'I did however omit some important details.'

'Okay.' That simple word seemed to take forever to say as Katherine's mind started ruling out pregnancy.

'I told you I dropped your mum and sister home after our afternoon on the pier.'

'Okay.'

'I didn't tell you that I went into the house.'

'Oh God,' Katherine said twisting away from him. She caught sight of her mum who promptly welled up.

'Can you guess where this is going?' Lanzo asked in soft tones.

'I think you'd better just tell me.'

Watching from the corner of her eye Katherine saw Lanzo and her mum looking at one another. Eventually he nodded.

'We talked and then I got up to leave but before I got a hand to the door it opened and I came face to face with Alan.'

'Oh brilliant,' Katherine said sarcastically ruling out the first idea that had sprung to life when Lanzo said he'd been in the house.

'He was mad to see me there.'

Katherine shot a sideways glance and imagined how it would feel for a man like her dad to find a man like Lanzo next to his wife in his own home.

'I tried to be as honest as I could but truthfully I couldn't say your mother and I were no more than friends. I was strong for sure but I'd seen Alan slinging hay bales and didn't wish to tangle with him. That I'd be returning to America was the only thing that stopped him beating me to death. I only left when I was certain Barbara was safe.'

Katherine looked at her mum. 'And were you safe?' Barbara looked away. Katherine looked at Lanzo accusingly. 'Of course she wasn't safe.'

'I'm no coward Katherine—'

'Alan had never hit me before,' Barbara interjected sniffing. 'It was just a slap.'

'Just a slap? Dad's a horrible man. I've practically told you that one way or another all my life. You both should've known better you behaved idiotically like we did when we lifted your stuff out the house the other month. We should have been there early; watched him leave and we should have had someone on guard all the time. We were dammed lucky to have of all people Calvin with us.'

No one said anything. Lanzo took Barbara's hand. Katherine had turned so far around in her seat only one buttock perched on it.

'Things were never the same after that,' Barbara said.

'You didn't kiss and make up then?'

'Not for about a month.'

'A month? Way to let the rot set in. It's not like he caught the pair of you ... doing it, is it?'

'No,' Barbara said. 'Your dad met Lanzo on his way out.'

Katherine eyed them suspiciously.

'After a month I felt strange. I probably should have sought help. Perhaps broken the marriage but I was too stubborn to contact your grandparents. And, your granddad was the only link I had to Lanzo too.'

'Mum, I'm kind of wondering what the point of this is.'

'Stay with it Katherine,' Lanzo said gravely.

Barbara proceeded. 'After a month I took Alan to bed. He'd been trying it on since Sarah was born and now I drained him.'

'Nice.'

'Eight months later you were born.'

Katherine turned to her mother with a look of incredulity. 'I was premature?'

Barbara shrugged. 'I was bigger with you than Sarah and you were a decent weight.'

'Something's amiss here.'

'Right. Not that Alan ever said but I think he always presumed that Lanzo and I had had sex before he came home that day. He never said but I suspected he didn't believe you were premature. It gave him a strange psychological hold over me. I felt alone, cut adrift from reality. And I couldn't refuse him. For months he did what he wanted with me and soon Jayne came along.'

Lanzo said, 'If I'd have known how bad things got—'

'You were busy, with oil and in love,' Katherine said turning to face him.

'Even so.'

Barbara patted his shoulder. 'By now I'd given up. I let my looks go which pleased Alan. I concentrated on my three daughters whilst Alan concentrated on two. One of you showed signs early on of becoming spectacularly beautiful.'

Katherine shut her eyes.

'Not that he ever said but, if Alan mistrusted Lanzo and your premature birth your growing so beautiful must have confirmed what he thought he knew.'

'That's why he hated me.'

Barbara nodded. Her eyes reddened.

Katherine looked at her and could tell how desperately she wanted her closeness. She concentrated her thoughts and decided she'd rather yield than leave her suffering.

'I love you,' Barbara sniffed into Katherine's neck.

Katherine neither replied nor closed her eyes. She released her and sat back down facing the pair. Neither of them spoke but looked like they expected her to speak which helped her realise the truth.

'Right,' she said looking from one face to the other, 'you've led me to believe that when my dad found you together that everything was innocent.' Both Lanzo and Barbara remained still as mannequins. 'Please don't string this out any longer. Did you, or did you not, have sex on the day in question?'

Katherine focused on Lanzo as Barbara burst into tears again. Lanzo nodded the affirmative.

'Okay, I'd like to check on Amy, she's not eaten in hours. Then I'm going to bed.'

She stood up. Lanzo stood too; palms open as if searching for something to say.

Katherine sidestepped him not wanting to hear another word. 'No thank you, I've too much to think about right now.'

Lanzo made no attempt to follow her but said, 'Contact the porters from the room's intercom. They'll provide Amy anything she wants when she's ready.'

Katherine stopped by the door then turned to the beautiful captain who seemed so kind. 'Thank you.'

* * *

Amy woke up relieved to feel hungry. She'd shut the curtains and taken some aspirin and knew she'd acted early enough to avoid worsening nausea.

She wondered how Katherine would be getting on. Earlier that day John had told her about Perso Principessa and that Katherine would need a friend because Barbara had consequential news. She considered going to find her friend but jumped hearing someone at the door.

* * *

Outside with tear-bleary eyes Katherine struggled and dropped the key again. She crouched getting a hand to it when the door opened.

'Come in,' Amy said opening her arms to her. 'You've had a shock haven't you?'

Katherine thought she'd come back to look after Amy but her friend sat her on the bed and poured them both some water.

Katherine launched into what had happened punctuating everything with, 'I'm so annoyed,' and, 'what really makes me angry.'

'Understandable,' Amy said over and over.

'I'm really annoyed with my dad too. He's been horrible to me, but it's not my fault I'm not his daughter. If he'd been nicer to my mum in the first place this wouldn't ever have happened.'

'You're right.'

'And why after all this time has my mum decided to dredge all this up?' Katherine slammed a hand against the mattress.

Amy couldn't guess whether Katherine wanted an explanation. She kept quiet.

Katherine sat; quiet too. 'You've not eaten in ages,' she said eventually.

'No. I'm considering eating your hair.'

Katherine chuckled then sighed. 'Lanzo said you can have whatever you fancy whenever you're ready.'

'Did he – what anything?'

'Anything. You just have to buzz from the intercom,' Katherine said spying it on the wall.

After thinking about it Amy said, 'Cheese on toast.'

'Nah, you don't want that.'

'How d'you know what I want?'

'Not unless it's Parmigiano-Reggiano on toast.'

'And that's cheese is it?'

'Heaven's cheese, but you should try the prosciutto.'

'And what might that be?'

'Parma ham. It's out of this world. And you must have the culatello. I don't know how I'm remembering these names but you've never tasted anything so divine. I tell you what,' Katherine said getting up and heading for the intercom, 'leave this to me.'

Twenty minutes later Amy groaned with rapturous bliss savouring veal cutlets. 'I'll never eat chips again. Help me out Katherine I can't manage this lot on my own.'

Katherine still felt full but the memory of the food proved too much and soon the pair of them groaned unreservedly.

Thirty minutes later each girl lay on her own bed.

'So,' Amy said, 'how d'you feel now?'

Katherine blinked her eyes open and thought about it. 'I'm still angry. But I was just wondering how the lads are getting on.'

## Saturday 02nd June 1984

The next morning Barbara knocked and called through the girls' door. Amy looked at Katherine but didn't move to answer it.

Katherine eventually tutted, opened the door but walked away from without a backward glance.

Barbara stepped into the room and exchanged pleasantries with Amy who talked about the food they'd shared after her migraine had passed. Of course the conversation soon swung to the previous night's revelations.

Barbara apologised and described herself in derogatory terms, calling herself weak and tagging excuses to every poor decision she'd ever made.

Eventually Katherine said, 'Enough. You made what you thought were the best choices at the time. Not that I'm hungry but it'll be hours before we eat again so can we just get breakfast?'

* * *

In the dining room over fresh orange juice and slices of melon Katherine said, 'I am still angry but I need to know, have you any more secrets?'

'No,' Barbara said somewhat tensely.

'Nothing at all, because now's the time to tell me?'

'Dammit,' Barbara said. 'I don't believe this. John'll be furious.'

'John? John doesn't get furious.'

'You know what I mean.'

'No I don't, so tell me.'

'It's supposed to be a surprise – for everyone.' Barbara looked at Amy.

'I'm done with surprises,' Katherine said un-amused.

Amy said, 'Sometimes, it's nicer to have something to look forwards to.'

'Alright, guess,' Barbara said.

'What?'

'If you guess it won't seem so bad I told you.'

Katherine and Amy looked at each other their faces brightening.

'Is it something to do with Little Spirit?' Katherine asked.

'Yes.'

'They're not here are they?'

'They're nearby.'

'Are they coming to the wedding?'

'They're not guests but they're doing a set before the disco.'

'Oh mum that's the best news.' Katherine got up from her seat and hugged her. 'Aren't you glad you told us?'

Barbara nodded.

Amy said, 'So are they flying in from Brighton?'

'Brighton?'

'That's where they're shooting their next videos; isn't it?'

'Oh God,' Barbara said with exasperation. 'No, they're in a chateau near Saint Raphael. As I understand it John booked them to play the wedding as his present to Elaine and Gareth. The record company decided to kill two birds with one stone and shoot their videos here. John will have at least saved them the price of the band's airfare.'

'I think it's great you told us,' Amy said.

Katherine felt some annoyance but the moment had served to break the ice with her mother and without thinking she asked excitedly whether she thought Lanzo would like Little Spirit.

John appeared before they'd finished their coffees. His chagrin at having his surprised ruined soon passed when he learned how much happier the girls seemed following the previous night's drama.

Barbara left to refill the coffees.

'Can I ask you something John?' Katherine said.

'This sounds serious.'

'Not necessarily. I just wondered whether Lanzo's anything to do with you and my mum not seeing each other anymore?'

He smiled. 'You're mum and I are great but that doesn't make us right. Lanzo's an impressive fellow and I intend spending more time with him if possible but as far as I can tell he and Barbara haven't attempted to move romantically closer.'

'I'm pleased you like him,' Katherine said. 'Thanks for helping her find him.'

'She found him. Once she was back with your granddad it didn't take her long to pull up the old records. All I did was make the phone calls; that and take her to Italy.'

A berth massive enough for Perso Principessa still hadn't become available along _Quai d'Estienne d'Orves_ so, after dressing for the wedding a sailor motored the girls, Barbara and John ashore.

But, during Elaine and Gareth's vows Perso Principessa's horn could be heard bellowing her arrival.

Before long everyone followed bride and groom from the chapel into the dazzling light of Saint Tropez's summer afternoon. Katherine looked down the hillside and saw Perso Principessa shading all other yachts.

Elaine blossomed with joy under the confetti shower and pointing towards the marina said, 'Look everyone, the party.'

Most people seeing the mighty yacht for the first time cheered and right on cue Perso Principessa sounded her horn. Outside the walls of the church her bellowing echoed surely spreading across the whole town.

The photographs took an age so as soon as Katherine, Amy and Barbara had been snapped a couple of times they headed back towards the marina.

* * *

After the wedding breakfast Elaine's dad thanked, amongst others, Katherine for sourcing the first venue and Barbara and Lanzo for Perso Principessa.

'Where is Lanzo?' Katherine asked her mum as Gareth stood to begin his speech.

'Haven't seen him all day. Probably working knowing him.'

Katherine sank back in her seat wondering if he'd lost interest in her already. Following a lifetime of denunciation from the Cumbrian man who'd raised her so begrudgingly she felt disappointed in herself for believing she should be above feelings of rejection.

After coffees and champagne toasts, the staff ushered the wedding party out of the dining room.

'It's so Little Spirit can set up,' John said.

'Can we see them?' Amy asked.

'Of course, when they get on stage. Remember they still think this is a surprise.'

Katherine looked around.

'Giovanni,' she said spotting the sailor who'd brought them aboard the day before.

'Buona sera Katherine. Are you having a nice day?'

'Strange, but nice thank you. Do you know where Little Spirit are?'

'The rock band?'

'Yes.'

Giovanni looked nervous. 'Nobody is supposed to know they're here.'

'No, but we do, and they're very close friends of ours.'

'I see. Well I'm not allowed to tell anyone about them—'

'Atta boy,' John said overhearing Katherine's hushed conversation.

'Of course, but I don't even know if they're aboard yet,' Giovanni said.

'They're not in the dining room?'

'Only the DJ and sound technicians are in there.'

'We could go looking ourselves,' Amy said.

'Captain Valli's orders were very specific. We're not to allow anyone access to the dining room until it's time.'

* * *

In the end everyone had to wait. The entire wedding party poured into the dining room ready for Elaine and Gareth's first dance.

The girls, John and Barbara pressed into the centre of the room.

'People have been busy,' Barbara said as they looked around the room now cleared of tables and chairs.

Amy agreed. 'Have you seen those speakers?'

'Looks like it might be loud,' Katherine said.

'Ladies and gentlemen,' Lanzo said appearing from out of nowhere.

Standing in front of a curtain hanging between the mighty speakers he said, 'Performing the first dance it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you all for the first time Mr and Mrs Edwardson.'

Everyone clapped as the happy couple emerged from the crowd. Katherine instead looked at the man, her biological father.

He continued. 'And, for everyone's pleasure I am simply delighted to welcome a band who've recently appeared on Top of the Pops and toured with Brewster Springfield. A band currently residing at Number-12 in the UK charts – Little Spirit.'

Without warning blinding theatrical flash-bombs exploded sending sparks to the ceiling. The curtain vanished and Lanzo disappeared into the shadows before the stage lights could blare through the flash-bombs' dying embers.

Katherine's pride could have exploded like the flash-bombs. Little Spirit stood on the stage looking incredible.

* * *

On stage Calvin hadn't a clue why Lanzo, who none of them had met, felt so delighted to introduce them. Despite the crowd's cheering he felt more nervous than usual standing before such exclusivity and wealth. He stamped the tempo of the first song so Danny and Raphael could see.

'If you're ready Mr and Mrs Edwardson,' a seemingly calm Danny said.

Calvin pulled one bass note and sang as simply as the original recording. ' _What the world needs now, is love sweet love.'_

Off stage Barbara tugged John's sleeve and said, 'Burt Bacharach, oh doesn't Calvin sound lovely?'

'When did they learn this?' Amy asked.

Katherine shook her head. 'Never heard them sing a note of it.'

'Hi guys.'

'Grace,' Amy said.

'What d'you think of Little Spirit doing Bacharach.'

'It's heavenly,' Barbara said. 'D'you think they'd record it?'

'They have, they demo'd it in London and John gave it to Gareth, not that he mentioned it was Little Spirit.'

Katherine watched Elaine in Gareth's arms and considered how right they looked. She thought of herself and Calvin and knew they'd look equally perfect.

From the stage Calvin continued singing and amended the last line to, ' _What the world_ has _now is love sweet love, it's the only thing that that this whole room is full of_.'

'Hmm, cheesy,' Grace said as the song ended.

Next Danny said, 'Hey Gareth, how d'you like this for a backup guitar?'

From behind his amp he presented a guitar he'd made from Lego. 'Happy wedding day.'

'Very nice,' Calvin said on Gareth's behalf. 'Thank you all for having us join this celebration. We're part of John Saunders' wedding present to Elaine and Gareth and we'll see how it goes but we'll perform a few upbeat numbers for you.'

The girls pushed forwards with everyone else to crowd the stage.

Six songs later they and the audience wouldn't let Little Spirit leave.

* * *

'There you are,' Calvin said finding their girls on deck together after they'd finally managed to leave the stage.

'We've been kept away from the precious rock stars you know?' Amy said.

'I'm sorry we couldn't tell you about the gig,' Calvin said when his bandmates and Amy left for the bar. 'And I must tell you about the video shoots. We've not been in Brighton.'

'It's alright babe we know about all of that,' Katherine said.

'You do?'

'Yeah, but I've got even bigger news for you darling.'

'Yeah?' he said startled. 'Go on.'

'Not here. Come and meet people.'

'Wait, we're not having a kid are we?'

'No,' she said taking his hand and leading him towards the guests, 'I'll tell you soon enough.'

Abigail who'd snubbed Calvin a year earlier introduced herself with a whole change of interest in him.

'He's gorgeous isn't he?' she said privately to Katherine.

'D'you really think so?'

'Of course, he reminds me of that dishy fellow who introduced them. Was that his dad?'

' _His_ dad?' Katherine asked thinking she'd misheard.

'Well, apart from hair and skin tone they look alike, don't they?'

'Really?' Katherine looked towards where Calvin chatted with Loretta but couldn't see the likeness.

Giovanni found them and whispered to Katherine that the lounge on the upper deck had been made exclusively available to them.

The bandmates and Amy regrouped and followed Giovanni along with Barbara and John.

'What a fabulous room,' Calvin said getting comfy

'Hmm,' said Katherine as the previous night's feelings spiralled back.

'Where's Grace?' Raphael asked.

When nobody knew he left to find her.

The door closed behind him but popped open again a minute later.

'Good evening,' the yacht's captain said as all conversation dropped away. 'Would it be okay if I joined you?'

Amy's migraine had meant she hadn't seen the Italian American properly but now saw his near-black eyes and knew he must be Katherine's true father.

'Come in,' John said shifting along the seating to make room for him.

'This feels awkward, I don't want to impose,' Lanzo said.

'Nonsense,' Katherine said, 'you're very welcome; I mean, apart from this being your yacht of course.'

'Well, truth be told, I've been more worked up about seeing you today than meeting you yesterday.'

Half the room's occupants had no idea what the man could be talking about.

'Babe,' Calvin said, 'does the captain here have something to do with the news you mentioned earlier?'

'He does,' Katherine said.

'I'm the owner of this yacht and introduced you to the stage earlier. Lanzo Valli,' he said offering his hand. 'I presume you're Calvin?'

'Pleasure,' he said warily.

Katherine looked on amused to see the similarities Abigail had.

'After all Barbara's told me about you it's my pleasure to meet you. And, despite being an Elvis man I enjoyed your show immensely.'

'That's great, thank you,' Calvin said. 'So, what's the big news?'

Katherine glanced at her mum before saying to him, 'Remember that bloke you knocked out when we went to collect my mum's stuff in Cumbria?'

'The bloke who knocked himself out on my head – your dad.'

'Seems not.'

* * *

Raphael didn't find Grace anywhere indoors. Outside he looked from the yacht's railings down the quay. No sign. He took a deep breath and sighed. The cooling air felt good in contrast to the stuffy smoke of the function rooms.

He gazed at the cloudless sky fading from blue to black; broken only by white moon and stars. He thought of what Calvin had seen a year ago when they decided on the band colours.

Caught in nature's phenomenon, Raphael could have stayed there forever.

'Hello.'

His reverie broke.

'Hello,' he said to Grace feeling his knees weaken. He noted his breath shorten as it had been frequently in her presence. 'I was looking for you.'

'Amongst the stars?'

'Why not, I couldn't see you along the quay.'

'You didn't look hard enough. I saw you on the way back from the phone.'

She touched his hand.

It felt lovely but she said, 'Where are the others, I've got stuff to tell?'

Raphael led the way despite his reluctance to leave the stars behind or distract the romantic truth about his deepening feelings for Grace.

When they arrived at the lounge they found Katherine in full swing.

'What's going on?' Raphael asked.

Katherine introduced Lanzo and once again recounted the story.

'You know mum,' she said, 'I'm still mad you said nothing all those years. You let my dad, I mean that man, ignore and insult me.'

Before Barbara could respond, Calvin said, 'I've met Alan. Nobody could understand how hard it'd be for Barbara living with someone like that.'

'I'm sure that's right,' John said.

'Sometimes ze cost of admitting ze truth to oneself is simply too high of a price to pay,' Raphael said.

'We can only imagine,' Lanzo said.

Raphael faced Katherine. 'I'm not sure if it helps but, you knew about this.'

'What could you possibly mean by that?' Katherine said.

'Remember ze conversation we had in ze flat? You were on about what happens if babies get mixed up at ze hospital? My guess, you knew something was amiss.'

Katherine's eyebrows knotted. Yes, she did know. She'd struggled with her identity since leaving Cumbria when every social truth turned out to be wrong. Finding love with Calvin and friends but without Saint Tropez wealth only thickened the mist of confusion.

'Raphael's made a good point,' John said. 'In The Sheraton, with you and Calvin, I said you must be some sort of princess.'

'You did, I remember.'

'Perso Principessa – lost princess,' Lanzo said nodding to Barbara before focusing on Katherine, 'I realise you're the princess I'd yet to find.'

'I'm sorry,' Raphael said.

'What have you to be sorry about?' Katherine said not wanting to be centre of attention any longer.

'I remember saying that if you want to know ze truth, look at ze seeds. Apple seeds only ever grow into apple trees.'

'I remember.'

'I didn't know we were looking at ze wrong seed.'

'Another great insight,' Lanzo said. 'The thing is Katherine, Barbara tells me it's your inspired actions that swayed her to leave Alan. I could be cross at Barbara for not telling me I had a daughter sooner but I appreciate what Calvin said about how hard it must have been for her. If she'd exposed the truth before leaving Alan it'd have led to more bullying abuse.'

'Now I feel mean for being angry,' Katherine said. She apologised to her mum and added, 'I'm pleased you're out of that relationship.'

'You and me both,' Barbara said. She smiled at her and then John.

'If you'll forgive me for saying, I won't miss Alan either,' Lanzo said. 'But, I'm delighted to have met you Katherine. And I'm excited by the prospect of getting to know you better. I hope you feel some of that too.'

'Actually I do,' Katherine said. 'I'd like that.'

'She's busy.'

Everyone looked at Grace.

'That's true,' Katherine said. 'I'm styling a band in a few days' time; my first job as a freelance fashion stylist.'

Before Lanzo could congratulate her, Grace spoke again. 'You're busier than that Katherine.'

'Am I?'

'Yup, I've got two important announcements,' Grace said having waited quietly for the opportunity to share her news. 'Firstly, Little Spirit. I phoned Richard who said that Brewster Springfield personally contacted the William Morris agency and told them they should sort you out with your own tour and believe it or not that's what they're doing. So, after the Duran dates and next two singles have been released you'll be off on your own; there's already talk of America.'

Lanzo called for champagne.

'So how come I'm so busy?' Katherine asked.

'That's the second announcement. Richard told me Dave Whitaker's got you another job. Immediately we get back off the video set and before anything else you're doing Jorge Michaels.'

'Am I?' Katherine fanned her face as her cheeks flushed with surprise.

'Yup, first day back.'

'What about Randolph Ridge and the rest of Slamm!?'

'It's only Jorge, he's doing a solo single.'

'Can't be the end of Slamm!, can it?' Amy said.

'Who knows?'

'Blimey, is he even signed to Vanquar?' Katherine asked.

'Doesn't matter, Dave Whitaker knows everyone. The industry is very close-knit. But, Vanquar or not you couldn't wish for a better subject to start your portfolio.'

'I'll say.'

Lanzo stood up. 'Well that certainly changed the mood round here. Congratulations all of you. Katherine I'm, really, very proud.'

Champagne flutes filled then got drained.

Amy said, 'So, me and Katherine want to hear about the filming you lads have been doing.'

Danny described the château outside of Saint Raphael. 'It's a magnificent stately home; the perfect setting for _I Can't Wish.'_

Danny told them how Saint Raphael's promenade had been busy with stalls and shoppers who lingered into the evening on account of it having been Ascension Day. They'd set up and gigged to the people who'd flocked round and filmed them for _Life in the Sunshine_.

'Tomorrow,' Danny continued, 'we're hoping you girls will join us because we're hiring speed boats to water-ski from and later on we're taking John's yacht out for a night cruise.'

'And you need us for that?' Amy said.

'Of course; can't water ski without hot girls in speed boats.'

'The night cruise will be amazing if ze night's like tonight,' Raphael said. 'Though, I'm not sure we should let Grace on set though.'

'Why not Grace?' Lanzo asked.

Raphael said, 'Last time she ended up snogging someone else.'

'Well – the director told me to,' Grace said defensively.

'Aw, Raphael's jealous,' Danny said.

'Is he?' Barbara asked, 'Are you Raphael?'

Grace fell silent.

Raphael pretended to concentrate on his fingernails whilst he tried to think of something clever to say.

Excusing Raphael from embarrassment Lanzo said, 'If you're interested you could shoot some of your video here on Perso Principessa.'

'That'd be great,' Grace said.

* * *

Katherine suggested they head back to the disco.

Back with the remaining throng of wedding guests, not two songs played before the DJ started winding the night down.

'Okay, this one's for all you lovers out there,' he said.

When Spandau Ballet's _True_ started Raphael looked around as Katherine fell into Calvin's arms and Amy stepped into Danny's.

Grace looked up at him and he imagined how good she'd feel in his arms.

'Is there a chance one so lovely as you might fancy a dance, with me?' he ventured.

She regarded him curiously. 'You've never complimented me before.'

'Yes I have; many times in my imagination.'

'Really?'

'Of course but, your uncle's generally been nearby.'

'Not now he ain't. He's eight-hundred miles away.'

'Oui. So, shall we dance?'

She flicked her hair over her shoulder. 'Silly question.'

She held up her arms and Raphael stepped forwards and discovered he'd had no idea just how good she'd feel. Her body pressed into his. He smelt her hair and perfume.

'Were you really jealous of that other lad being with me on set?' she asked.

Stepping in time with her to the beat he said, 'Ze most jealous I've ever been.'

She slid a hand from his shoulder to his neck and face. Her fingers felt wonderfully cool, as they had done when she'd touched him weeks earlier after they'd signed to Vanquar.

He could feel himself falling for her there and then and, with everything he'd dreamed of and visualised for Little Spirit materialising he closed his eyes and felt his lips meet Grace's.

The End

Acknowledgements and legal bits

Again I'd like to thank everyone who has read Little Spirit. Of course I hope you've enjoyed it and if you haven't yet read _Johnny and_ The USed Wonz I'd love you to enjoy some time with it too. In fact there's a sample at the end.

Need I ask you to leave a review? I'm sure you can imagine how much I'd appreciate your thoughts and feelings. I'd love to hear from you at http://www.daneoduran.com

The story of Little Spirit is my own and is a work of fiction. All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. If you have any queries contact me at http://www.daneoduran.com

The Book Cover design was by myself DaNeo Duran but I'd like to thank http://www.dafont.com for providing the fonts used. In particular Digital Graphic Labs for the 'Type Wrong' font, Nestor Delgado for the 'Expansiva' font and TracerTong for their 'Universal Accreditation' font. Also I'd like to thank http://www.downloadfreevector.com for providing the crowd image.

About the author:

DaNeo Duran is a novelist, Leeds University graduate musician and Carol Wilson Performance Coach. He has spent many years in amateur and professional bands and has decades of music industry experience.

During the 1980s he played drums in many bands and throughout the 1990s made a gradual switch to bass guitar. Also during the 1990s he studied Music Production and song writing.

After one too many career disappointments DaNeo turned to novel writing in order to enjoy the so-near-yet-so-far professional success that had at that time eluded him. He now enjoys touring as a musician and promoting his novels.

For plenty more information, music, photos, live appearances and a means to contact DaNeo Duran visit: http://www.daneoduran.com.

Ladies and gentlemen for your continued reading pleasure, here is an excerpt from Johnny and The USed Wonz:

### Wichita, Kansas: Saturday 02nd June 1984

The USed Wonz had plenty to feel confident about. Two months earlier the band's _Million Memories_ promo video had found its way into the countless American homes now subscribing to MTV. That had helped reactivate their debut album's sales. With the video in heavy rotation the band hardly needed commercial radio stations' help spreading their music.

Currently midway through their second US tour, The USed Wonz now found their own gigs selling out along with the shows they opened for larger acts with larger crowds.

But, backstage this Saturday night Johnny didn't feel good. He felt caged.

In a crate-sized dressing room his three bandmates sensed his anxiety. This close to show time he should be revving everyone up. Instead his mind bounced thoughts like pinballs; none of them hitting home.

'What's up Johnny?' Stu asked.

_I'm screwed and so are all of you,_ he thought looking at the drummer's knowing expression.

'Nothing's up, I'm fine,' he said; like Stu would believe him.

Nevertheless Stu, the trendiest band member turned back to the mirror and spiked his hair.

Both orphaned girls, Christine and Mazz had witnessed the exchange and Johnny saw them stiffen. He glared at the back of Stu's head with a frustration he'd not felt for his best friend since their vehement introduction years earlier.

'I need some air,' Johnny said checking the clock above the mirror and re-buttoning his silk shirt.

He left the shabby dressing room and squelched in leather pants still not dry from their daily soaping. He left the cool of the venue's backstage area and headed into Wichita's heat, still radiating from the tarmac.

Despite having lived in the States for eight months he still had to think which way to look before crossing roads.

On South Webb Road, he found a pay phone and dialled an office number from memory.

After three rings a woman's voice came through America's west coast lines. Only then did he realise how stressed he'd become.

'Linda,' he said flopping against the booth's casing.

* * *

In her newly rented office Linda only half recognised the caller. 'Johnny?'

'Yeah.'

'Can't be, you've not asked what I'm wearing.'

That didn't actually surprise her. Things had been different between them since they'd returned from The USed Wonz' video shoot in London months earlier.

'I expected the answering machine. What you doing there?' he asked.

'It's not so late this far west.'

'Linda, it's Saturday, you should be elsewhere enjoying yourself.'

He had a point but she sat back and twirled a lock of chemically lightened hair whilst gratefully avoiding home. 'What can I do for you?'

'I didn't know who else to phone.'

Never tiring of Johnny's English accent, Linda rested her feet on the desk and her eyes on his Stetson. He'd left it in her old owner occupied office. When she sold it and moved into her rented office his hat came too.

'You talk, I'll listen,' she told him.

Johnny talked.

Linda listened; then her eyes shot open.

With feet back on the floor she sat forwards and slapped her hand into her desk. 'What?'

'I said—'

'Never mind, I heard you.'

She stood up, then sat down. Neither spoke. Linda's mind raced.

Her feet searched for her shoes under her desk. 'I'll sort it.'

'What – you can't.'

'Which gig's this one?'

'Port of Wichita.'

She pulled a drawer and opened a file. 'Got it, Kansas City tomorrow right?'

She faced the map of the States behind her and checked her watch. 'It'll take me at least until 2am your time to reach you.'

'Linda, you know how I feel—'

'I've no idea what you're about to say but I need you off the phone. I'll meet you in your motel's reception.'

'Okay.'

'Johnny?'

'Yeah?'

'Have a good gig.'

Alone in her office Linda screamed but without sincerity. Looking at the phone she pondered where to start knowing she shouldn't be starting at all.

She booked a Wichita flight then rang her apartment.

'Hi Dwight, it's me,' she said surprised to get the answering machine. 'Mom's not well again. I'll stay with her and see you tomorrow, okay?'

She could have told the truth but choose to lie having not seen her boyfriend since their first proper argument the previous morning.

Then she dialled her mother and apologised for not being able to visit that night.

Two minutes later she buried her foot on the gas of her burgundy Lotus Esprit. The turbo-charged two-seater roared the airport's thirty minute journey in twenty.

* * *

Having seen a group of girls outside the venue Johnny turned to avoid being recognised before stepping into the road. A blaring Cadillac horn soon saw him checking left and right properly.

Minutes later back in the dressing room Christine asked, 'Why d'you phone Linda?'

Ignoring her Johnny unbuttoned his shirt and recomposed himself following the micro-mobbing he'd received after the Cadillac's horn had blown his cover.

Not having fathomed his feelings for Linda himself, he didn't appreciate Christine exaggerating about her being old enough to be his mum no matter how well-meaning the intention. And he didn't know why since their trip to London, Christine's feelings towards their agent had downturned whilst his had gone stratospheric.

He scowled at the twenty-three year old Christine but couldn't blame her for his bad mood.

Like Mazz, Christine wore a black figure hugging dress with heels. With the effort she made before gigs, Johnny found her as attractive as any woman he'd ever known. The same went for the eighteen year old Mazz who, since America re-raised its legal drinking age, pretended nightly to be twenty-one.

While Johnny and the brawny but pretty-boy Stu brought masculinity to the stage, the girls gave their audiences something else to remember The USed Wonz by.

'Are you going to answer the question?' Christine asked in her adopted American accent.

'What?'

'Why d'you phone Linda?'

'I thought that was rhetorical.'

The door swung open. Dane stuck his spherical head in the room. 'Showtime guys; place is rammed.'

Christine thanked their pudgy tour manger then to Johnny said, 'Why?'

'Look, I phoned Linda because I felt like it. Do I have to explain everything?'

Dane sniffed and pushed his glasses up his nose. 'Johnny, how many times, Linda is our agent and a thousand miles away? I am the manager. Any problems; bring them to me.'

Weeks earlier much to Johnny's annoyance, Christine had seen Howie, their last tour manager sacked. Johnny felt no warmth for their newly positioned manager. Competent in only the most trivial of matters, Dane had been an office jockey dumped on them against his will by their record company.

As leader of the band Johnny snapped to it. 'Let's take the roof off this place. Everyone out.'

Christine knowing she'd already pressed too far turned her attention to Mazz giving her an encouraging hug.

Dane retreated and the girls past Johnny who held the door.

Finally Stu stood up from the counter he'd been leaning on. He walked but stopped in the doorway. With his face inches away he searched for clues in Johnny's expression.

'I know you too well,' the drummer said gripping his shoulder with compassion.

Johnny said nothing but followed him out to where his troubles evaporated in the heat of approaching cheers welcoming the USed girls to the stage. The nearing lights then silhouetted Stu's lean frame.

In the wings Jack, the guitar tech, handed Johnny his unique dark dusty-blue and grey Stratocaster. Johnny took it and felt a million bucks again.

'Small in size massive in spirit,' Jack said about the venue. Then about the guitar, 'She's good to go.'

Striding on stage Johnny gave the strings a chop and received confirmation from his amplifier.

'People of America,' he declared into the mic whilst swigging cold tea from a Jack Daniels bottle, 'thank you for welcoming us to Wichita.'

The USed Wonz had enough UK and US experience to know what needed doing. If English audiences didn't like you they might face front wearing miserably bored faces. In America they'd look happy enough but plain ignore bands who failed to grab them early. With singles, video and album, The USed Wonz had their feet under the table but Johnny didn't take chances at the start of gigs in the country they hoped soon to call home. Everything had to please the rabble.

'You guys invented Rock 'n' Roll,' Johnny said. Stu's drums kicked in from behind. 'You gonna show us Brits how to make noise?'

Long before they'd left England, Johnny wrote lyrics praising the US correctly trusting Americans would love it.

Into the first song he sang, as usual making them wait for the guitar. When it came the proud Americans joined the whole band singing the chorus, _Let's get to the heart of this right now, You with us we are go, go, go._

To his right, Johnny heard fumbled bass notes. The audience didn't notice so he didn't look over but knew Mazz would be kicking herself. He kicked himself too knowing his bad mood had stressed her into the mistake.

At the back, now overly familiar with the songs Stu's limbs automatically beat out rhythm after rhythm. Stu loved America and had been grateful when none of the band objected to starting the second US tour right off the back of their first. Linda had booked them into fresh towns, placing them into America's seemingly endless supply of venues. But his mind had grown musically bored of their songs. He thanked God they'd be back in the studio soon working on new material – even if that meant temporarily returning to England.

The few years he'd known Johnny had been intense. Of course, Johnny's whole life had been intense. Stu believed only he understood Johnny's stoicism but as songs passed he tried but couldn't guess what had spooked his pal so badly.

* * *

Wichita had sent so much love on stage that back in the dressing room the band felt like their normal selves and wanted to hit the nearby bars.

After the venue emptied of fans they mucked in with their punitive crew packing their equipment away.

Shortly afterwards they jumped off the bus that dragged them town to town, state to state and headed into a bar where none of the middle-aged patrons cared to recognise them.

Johnny gave the waitress their order whilst Dane prepared to pay.

'It still amazes me how important we are to those who see us on stage and how irrelevant we are to everyone else,' Mazz said.

She wondered if that would still be true of Little Spirit over the Atlantic. She'd kept an eye on the UK charts so knew of Little Spirit's extraordinary debut single achievement.

Though The USed Wonz gigged tirelessly they'd chosen America, a far bigger animal than Britain to slay. So far they hadn't made the same dent Little Spirit had in Britain.

She looked at Christine who, having washed her face of makeup and hidden her curves beneath T-shirt and jeans looked but a memory of the voluptuous stage goddess she'd been earlier; holding chords and twisting knobs on her synths.

Mazz herself had also stripped of the dress and heels that kept musos attention on her body and off her left hand. She never relaxed sensing people scrutinising her bass technique.

Though Johnny looked good, only Stu maintained his impeccable image. Mazz figured it made sense nobody would pay them heed after their performance.

'Go easy guys,' Dane said, 'Kansas is only three hours away but you've got radio interviews and I've booked a rehearsal.'

'Right,' Johnny said. 'That's good. I wanna try some new lyrics.'

'What time we up?' Christine asked.

'Eight too early?' Dane looked at Johnny.

'Eight's great,' Johnny said. Then, thinking of Linda flying to see him added, 'But you drinkers will have to drink twice as fast. Can't stay out too long.'

* * *

Two hours later back in a cheap motel's family room the ever sober Johnny readied the pull-out mattress whist Stu converted the lounge seats. The girls flopped into the double bed; a routine so well practiced it didn't require discussion.

Nearest the door Johnny put the light out lay and down to wait for Stu's beer and the girls' cocktails to send the band to sleep.

He'd never normally encourage them to drink before, or after shows but tonight required an exception. Soon breathing patterns changed.

Checking his watch around 2am Johnny crept out the room and pulled his jeans on in the corridor before heading to the lobby.

The dozing night porter jumped at his arrival. 'Can I help you?'

'It's okay, I'm expecting someone. I'll wait.'

When the porter looked suspicious Johnny said, 'It's alright she's a woman. I mean she's a friend; she won't be staying.'

Johnny lay on the blue furniture that clashed with the grungy wooden floor and suddenly doubted Linda would show. The thought depressed yet focused him. He felt himself descending into a familiar sensation but, resting his head lost himself to sleep.

* * *

Sometime before 3am Linda found Johnny. He murmured and wrapped his hand around her fingers when she touched his shoulder.

'You came,' he said retrieving Tic Tacs from his pocket.

'Of course.'

She sat and resting his head in her lap looked down at the young man rubbing sleepy eyes. She stroked his blondy-brown hair whilst he chewed mints.

'I'm extremely cross with you,' she said. And then asked, 'Are you smiling?'

'You're cross, but you came.'

'I came because this isn't just about you,' she said with irritation but knew she would have anyway. 'The USed Wonz are ...'

'What?' Johnny said becoming more lucid.

'I'm losing acts.' She continued stroking his hair as his smile faded to concern. 'I'm glad I moved to the smaller office but I can't afford to have you guys go down.'

Johnny sat up and fluffed his hair. 'Hang on, if The USed Wonz are keeping you afloat how can you afford to bail us out?'

'Because, I owned the other office. I bought it for a song years ago with money I inherited from my stepdad. It was too big and because its value rocketed I figured time to sell. I've still got the proceeds.'

'Any money you give me you'll get back plus expenses.'

'I believe you,' she said. But the statement hung as the pair looked at each other.

'You're wondering how I could lose so much money,' he said. 'Linda, I'm a damn good poker player. I know what's what at the table and I know for damn sure I had the best hand.'

She looked away. 'Johnny.'

'What?'

'When you turned the cards over the other guy had the better hand.'

'Not before the cards went over.' His raised voice startled the porter.

Linda smiled towards reception. The porter closed his eyes.

'So you're telling me you've never lost money?'

'At the poker table? Of course but I know how to minimise losses. I never would have bet that much against someone like that unless I was sure I had the strongest hand.'

'But it was still a gamble.'

'Not when you know the odds. I even know about cheating. One of the first proper games I played was an elaborate scam.'

Linda's expression dropped. 'I'm not impressed.'

'Look, even if I misread the game, and I assure you I didn't, the whole thing was a setup. The second the cards went over the door opened and in walked two heavies – right on cue.'

'Sounds like rough justice but it's senseless that you were gambling that sort of money.'

'Yeah well, desperate times and that.'

Linda knew she must look incredulous. 'What are you on about, you're doing great?'

'Are we? You won't want to hear this given you've just told me your companies losing acts but, Vanquar are shuffling bigwigs at the top. Apparently someone up for promotion doesn't like us. Whispers in the corridors say if he gets the position he'll cut the live feed.'

'Stop you touring – why – how d'you know?'

'Dane told me on the quiet.'

'That's crazy.'

'Can't escape the fact that every day with the bus costs money.'

'Smaller gigs like tonight's are brilliant earners.'

'But Vanquar control the initial outlay and want their share of the returns before we get ours.'

'And they're getting them aren't they – you're still turning over plenty of money?'

'Not compared to bigger bands, but we making some because there's an album to promote.'

'So what's Vanquar's problem?'

'That this is the second US tour on that record. We need _album two_ in order to justify carrying on.

'But as far as Vanquar are concerned you'll record _album two_ the minute this tour's over. They don't know that GMD already advanced you its funding; and you blew the lot at the poker table.' Linda stopped herself saying more.

Johnny took a deep breath. 'So GMD pay for _album two,_ but Vanquar still have to fork out to market and distribute it. Without _album two_ there's no tour investment and no point anyway.'

That didn't explain why anyone at Vanquar would want The USed Wonz off their books. To lighten the mood Linda said, 'We always knew GMD giving you the advance early was risky.'

'Well now I wish they'd kept it too,' Johnny said sulkily. 'Look, the point is Vanquar aren't contractually obliged to do anything with future USed albums. If the fella that doesn't like us gets promoted, he'll ditch any future involvement with us. If I hadn't lost GMD's funding we'd still get a second album but we'd have to find another record company to get it in the shops and advertise it through tours. And, even though it'd be in GMD's interest we can't rely on their help to find us another major record company because they're so wrapped up in England with Little Spirit. Can you see how useful some extra cash would be?'

Linda finally saw his point. It didn't seem fair, none of it did. She thought of her British friend Trudie who worked for Vanquar-UK. Seconded to Vanquar-USA Trudie had temporarily relocated to America and generated a heap of useful business for Linda's booking agency.

Trudie had brought her The USed Wonz and if it hadn't have been for their success and Trudie's help, Little Spirit would probably still be stuck with GMD and no Vanquar-UK or any other major label to make them as massive as it seemed they'd become.

'And Trudie's too wrapped up with Little Spirit, as GMD are right now,' Johnny said as if reading her mind.

Thinking of anything Linda said, 'Can't Dane get someone down from Vanquar's head office to see how you've grown?'

'You don't need me to tell you how useless Dane is,' Johnny said. 'I just wanted to keep the USed account plump and for a moment back there I thought I'd be leaving the poker table happy. I never meant to risk the next album's advance. Things got out of hand.'

'I'll say.'

Johnny stayed quiet a beat. 'Some guy came in halfway through the game. The atmosphere frosted.'

'Some guy?'

'The other players might've known him. I don't know if they expected him though.'

'How come you were there at all?'

'It was after the Bottleneck gig in Lawrence last night. Three guys found us in a bar. I recognised them from the gig. I'd even signed their T-shirts.'

'What, and they said, _d'you wanna play poker?_ '

'Nah, they said they were off to play in some room above a business. When you don't drink and you're in a bar with the same people you've spent every moment with for weeks on end you fancy a change. I invited myself.'

'Doesn't sound like a setup.'

'Not yet. But they must have known something. It's no coincidence they were in the same bar as us.'

'Did you trust them?'

'Initially. We got to playing and everything was fine till the next guy arrived; some silver-haired fella; old before his time. He sat down and the stakes went up.'

'So he intimidated you?'

'I wouldn't have said so though he had that bad tempered Yul Bryner look about him.'

'And you couldn't just leave?'

'No.'

'Why?'

'Psychological reasons partly. But by the time my instinct started scratching we were well into a round of no-limit Hold'em. If I'd have folded I'd have lost what I'd put in, which was plenty, and by that time I knew I had the strongest hand.'

'So you say.'

'Linda, you'd be amazed how I know what players are holding and the only way that guy could beat me is if the pack had three black aces. He had one, the table had one facing. But, I'd seen one in the deck.'

'Then heavies appeared?' Linda said not knowing how he came to be sure about the third ace.

'Immediately the cards went over. But weirdly the game stopped right when we reached my limit. GMD gave us a recording advance of seven-thousand pounds. That's just under ten-thousand dollars. The guy knew when to stop. He didn't give me the chance to raise. He just said, _Let's see_.'

'So why didn't his heavies just beat the money out of you?'

'Because they knew I didn't have it on me. I'd written an IOU. Plus if they'd kicked my head in I'd have gone to the police and done them for assault.'

'Can't you go to the police now?'

'And say what – I've been cheated?'

Linda looked away. 'Good point. I'm still not convinced.'

Johnny let the remark pass. 'Well, the convincer for me was when one of the heavies pulled out our tour schedule.'

'Tour schedule?'

'Pulled it from an inside pocket. I mean why? He must have known I'd be there.'

'I see.' Linda thought for a moment picturing the towns she'd booked for the period. 'Maybe it is suspicious. The geography is perfect.'

'It's been planned and from our schedule they gave me till Monday to get the cash. I'm to meet them in Kansas City.'

'You think they'll come back for more?'

'Doubt it. They know we've nothing left.'

Linda reached into her handbag. 'Who do I write the cheque to?'

'He wants cash, which just makes things sound dodgier. I'll put it through my personal account.'

She looked up. 'That won't work. You haven't funds to cover this size of un-cleared cheque.'

'Dammit.' Resignedly Johnny said, 'It'll have to be The USed account. The advance is still there ready to pay the studio.'

Linda watched him slump. 'How bad would it be to tell Dane?'

'Well I'll have to now. I really didn't want him of all people to know. Dane could be part of the whole scam; he's only been tour manager a few weeks. I mean, who else knows we've been given the advance?'

Linda thought for a moment. 'Richard at GMD knows.'

'He gave us the money and he's in England so that rules him out.'

'I know about it.'

'You're bailing us out so it can't be you.'

'Vanquar?'

'No. The advance is from GMD so it's none of their business. Plus we make them cash. Killing us would kill the income we produce.'

'Unless, as you say they want rid of you.'

'But that's the future. Ending us mid-tour wouldn't make sense.'

'None of the band have told your road crew?'

'Jack and Quinn shouldn't know. I'll check though. I can only think it's Dane. He's got access to the accounts.'

Linda nodded but didn't know what to think. Obviously she wanted The USed Wonz safely on her books but for Johnny she'd do anything.

He went on. 'I never imagined you'd come through for me. Your being here is ...'

She broke eye contact seeing his expression change. 'Don't say it.'

'Fine, but I'm not joking around. You must feel something of what I do otherwise you wouldn't be here. Who else would you've done this for; especially given the trouble your own company faces?'

'Stop it Johnny.'

'Stop what? You reckon I'm nuts because you think I gambled the band's future but we were just discussing you handing over seven-thousand quid only to watch me leave the country for weeks to record another album. How d'you even know I'll be back?'

'You love America.'

'That's you assurance?'

Linda held up her hands. 'Alright, let's just leave it there shall we?'

'Yeah, well I'm just saying. Anyway I'll speak to Dane in the morning.'

Though Linda found Johnny sexually delectable she hadn't a magic wand to narrow their age gap. She did however feel responsible for him well beyond any normal agent/client relationship.

'I've had a brilliant idea,' she said. Getting up she took a piece of paper from the dosing porter's desk. 'If you can stall the band a couple of hours on Monday morning you can avoid telling Dane.'

Johnny perked up.

'I'll get to the bank first thing Monday and see the funds are in my account.'

She took a fountain pen from her bag and wrote.

Handing him the signed paper she said, 'Get to Citibank in Kansas City with this letter of entitlement and your passport. Be there at 11am – 9am Pacific Time.'

Johnny carefully folded the letter feeling alive again. He held out his hand and she put hers in it.

He smiled. 'You always wear ruby-red nail polish; I love it.'

She smiled too but pulled her hand free and looked at her watch. 'I need a cab.'

* * *

Soon a Crown Vic seesawed on ineffective dampers over the motel's bumpy parking lot.

The driver got out. 'No luggage?'

'Just me,' Linda said.

Johnny held the back door for her. 'Linda, how can I ever thank you for this?'

'Just get me my money back quick smart. And for God's sake keep me in a job.'

'Leave it with me. You'll get your money. I swear we'll record the best album and you'll have no time to work on other acts.'

He shut the door and she wound the window down to speak. Johnny jumped back when suddenly she got out and hugged him.

Linda's petite body clamped against his. His arms only had time to find her before she released him. With a kiss to the cheek she got in the car and slammed the door deserting him by the curb.

Carlisle, Cumbria, UK: Friday 26th April 1974

Ten years earlier near the Scottish border, Barry Peters sat alone in his bedroom. Despite only being fourteen he felt like the man he'd grow, or perhaps shrivel into.

He'd been out-developing his school schoolmates for two years since his mother died leaving him with his older brother Frank and violently abusive father.

The official report said his mother died of natural causes. But both Barry and Frank knew the stress their father, Les Peters, had savagely inflicted had caused her to weaken to the point where her other ailments became insurmountable.

Barry's then seventeen year old brother mercifully tried protecting him from Les who, ruined with guilty remorse and insoluble rage, would return from the pub howling and lashing with backhands should Frank get too close when trying to moderate him.

Having beaten his wife and two sons more times than anyone could have guessed, Barry didn't believe his dad deserved comfort from the misery of his own doing.

Nevertheless he admired Frank's ability to dig deep and find love for someone so worthless.

Barry hadn't turned twelve when his mother died. Since then he believed everyone except his beloved Frank had written him off as a lost cause.

Alone in the Carlisle council house, surrounded by darkness and too shocked to cry, Barry shivered fully aware that Frank's support and protection had come to an end.

Wednesday 21st June 1972

Two and a half years earlier, Barry might have caught the young, Miss Wilkinson rolling her eyes when he'd first turned up for her afterschool guitar lessons but, whatever she'd thought, he'd kept at them.

Like other eleven year olds his hands struggled to stretch and grip chords on the school's classical guitars. Sometime later, shortly before his mam's death in March, a neighbour lent him an electric guitar.

Though the electrics no longer worked the instrument had enough ambient volume to satisfy Barry. Practising on the slimmer neck he mastered the chords Miss Wilkinson showed the group.

After his mam died Barry practiced harder. Whist most in the group concentrated on their left hand fingering, Barry found he could look away from the guitar neck and listen to the ensemble.

One lesson in June he looked over to Miss Wilkinson and found her smiling at him. He looked away sheepishly.

'Can I have a quick word?' she asked afterwards whilst everyone replaced borrowed instruments.

'Okay Miss,' he said not knowing what he could have done wrong.

Once the class had left he sat behind a desk waiting admonishment.

Miss Wilkinson drew a chair beside him.

He faced forwards not looking at her.

'Your guitar playing's improved so much these past weeks I'm sure you could be a superb guitarist.'

Unable to believe his ears Barry turned to face her. Besides his mam and occasionally Frank he'd never received compliments least of all from teachers.

He didn't speak. His mam had told him he could be anything he wanted but without her he felt like nothing.

Miss Wilkinson swished her curly mid-brown hair behind her.

He faced forwards again and closed his eyes having caught trace of perfume similar to his mam's.

Miss Wilkinson said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I mentioned you to Mr Martin. He says when you're left to your own devices you work the metal with natural artist flare. He believes there's skill in your hands that's beyond what he's taught you.'

Another compliment. Barry hardly knew how to respond. 'I like metalwork.'

When Miss Wilkinson didn't say more he looked at her again.

She said, 'I heard about your mum.'

He looked forwards scrunching his eyes. Why had she said that?

Her hand laid on his shoulder. When emotions started bubbling he wanted to run, but where; not to a house with a horrible dad and no mam.

'With the skills you're learning on guitar ...'

He heard words but couldn't process them. His lips quivered and he drew a deep breath which came out sobbing.

He cried out.

Without warning Miss Wilkinson's arms wrapped so tightly around him he couldn't move. Nor could he avoid saliva, tears and running nose flooding into her striped nylon blouse.

He wanted to stop but knew at once he couldn't and so gave in.

Eventually though, he did stop shaking and with no more tears he relaxed. He'd nearly lost his breath but his breathing returned to normal.

Miss Wilkinson's embrace eased and he looked up to her face seeing tears of her own.

Suddenly his senses returned. He smelt her perfume and felt the texture of her blouse. The fingertips of one hand pressed into her bra strap. He let go.

'Did you cry at the funeral?'

Barry shook his head. 'Dad doesn't like to see us cry. Can I go now?'

Miss Wilkinson nodded and handed him his school jumper. 'What I was going to say was, someone who can play guitar as well as you could make up songs to help them through a time of grieving or anything else they wanted to feel better about.'

Barry looked at her and sniffed. 'You think I should write songs?'

'That's what I'm suggesting.'

'I can't.'

'Sure you can. You, Barry, can write songs.' When he shook his head she picked up a guitar. 'The first songs people create are usually rubbish but if they stick at them they'll get better and better. Listen.'

She strummed E, A and D chords. 'You know these chords; we've played them over and over. But you can play them in any order and they'll sound good.'

To his surprise she began singing over the top of the guitar. ' _You can sing anything you want, anything you want.'_ She repeated the line then said, 'When you're ready change the sequence.' She played C# minor and D chords singing, ' _Why do people think writing songs ain't easy, when that just ain't the truth.'_

She repeated that line then returned to the first chords and sang her first line again.

'Wow,' Barry said.

'You just make it up as you go along. Go ahead and,' she paused for thought, 'break some rules.'

Barry couldn't believe his ears. 'Break rules?'

'Yes, be your creative self. Mix up the chords and sing what feels right.'

'And, will the words have to rhyme?'

'Only if you want them to. Bring me a song that says what you want to say and I don't mind how rubbish it is or how rubbish you think it is. You never know it might even be good. Just make sure you do your other homework first.'

Despite Miss Wilkinson's last piece of advice Barry ran home and picked up his electric guitar deciding homework could wait.

He looked at the chords for _House of the Rising Sun_ and played the progression backwards. He soon discovered, just like she'd said, chords could be played in different sequences and sound good.

Wednesday 28th June 1972

The following Wednesday Barry headed into his after-school guitar lesson with the rest of the group. Miss Wilkinson barely acknowledged him so he sat down without a word.

After an hour of singing and strumming the group packed up.

His teacher still hadn't said anything to him. Dithering, worried she'd changed her mind about their appointment, Barry returned the school guitar to the store.

'Have you forgotten about me?' Miss Wilkinson said when the last kid left.

'No Miss,' he said with relief until nerves took hold as he picked a guitar back up.

'Thank goodness. I've been looking forward to this,' she said kindly. 'How've you been this week?'

'Fine, I wrote a song.' His voice trembled a touch.

'Great, tell me about it before you play it.'

Barry handed her a sheet with the lyrics he'd written before explaining how he'd created his song's chord progressions.

'I discovered that playing chords wrong sometimes sounded better,' he said.

Before his nerves could worsen he strummed a C minor chord with a high F in it to sweeten the sound. He checked Miss Wilkinson's reaction wondering if she'd tell him off for playing the chord differently from how she'd taught.

When the young teacher nodded her approval he carried on; distracted only momentarily when she crossed her legs inside a long blue skirt ending at tall medium-heeled black boots.

Opening his mouth he felt exposed hearing his voice without the chorus of the group.

Ploughing on he sang, ' _How can he say there's no faith, when you give me faith with your words? How can he say there's no hope, when you give me hope with your thoughts? How can he say there's no love, when you give me love with your touch ... ?'_

'Astonishing,' Miss Wilkinson said when he wrapped up the two minute piece.

He explained that he'd discovered _faith, hope_ and _love_ from hearing the end of _Songs of Praise_ on the TV whilst waiting for _Robin Hood_ to begin.

Miss Wilkinson looked over her lyric sheet again. Is she'd fully understood his words she didn't let on.

'You can keep them,' Barry said indicating the lyrics. 'I made that copy for you.'
