 
SPIRAL OF CRAZY

## PROLOGUE

You throw a girl out of the window once; you end up in a mental hospital.

It was not like it was even that high up; it was just from the first floor window.

Some people were just sissy's, Roxy thought as she paced the room she had been assigned at Mathare Mental Hospital.

Five years she had worked her ass off to be among the best writers of her time and here she was in a mental institution, labeled crazy.

There was no difference between her and the man who walked around naked in the streets. One's got to laugh at the irony of the situation.

"This will be good for you," her mother had said just an hour ago. "Take some time to be yourself again, find yourself again."

She got where her mother came from she just did not appreciate it. She could just imagine the news headlines, "Famous Author Roxy Moraa Gone Crazy" "Author Roxy in The Luni Bin".

She could also imagine the news interviews, "So did you think she could snap like this someday?" Some faceless journalist would ask.

The "friend" being interviewed would reply, "Of course just look at chapter eight of her last book, the way she had Eva running around with a knife. It is just a spiral of crazy." Except that 'friend' had known her about a whole thirty minutes.

Her actual friend Sabrina would be throwing things at the television; for despite her sweet disposition she was a fire cracker.

But who would care if the friend talking on television was an actual friend as long as she made the headlines.

"Friends knew that Roxy would one day snap."

Yeah right.

It would not matter that the woman she had thrown out the window was her boyfriend's latest squeeze.

Or that she found them banging on her bed, going at it like two wild rabbits.

Maybe she should have let the woman dress before going all Rambo on her ass. Those cardio kickboxing lessons had worked, Rafe her ex boyfriend as per this morning, had to call the cops.

Like he had not done enough damage already by breaking her trust; he should have let her pound out her frustration on his bimbo.

Too bad they had not gotten there before she threw him out of the window too. She was about to follow the bimbo over to finish what she had started when two cops restrained her.

Too say the truth she had not really loved Rafe, it was just the combination of the stress of working so hard on her latest book trying to make it a masterpiece that had gotten to her.

Seeing them together, she had just snapped.

It was like a dam had broken free and rage had flown out. Sweeping.

Maybe just maybe, all she needed was a break.

A new start.

She needed take the year in the Luni bin to formulate a new plan.

Seating down with a sigh on the bed with white sheets; she accepted her fate.

Or maybe this was not a break; she had finally just gone crazy.

Who knew?

## 

## CHAPTER ONE

Blake loved his routine.

Working out, going to work, eating and sleeping at the same time every day.

As his feet pounded down the path he thought of a time when he let passion rule his life.

When he had lived for his desires before he had crashed and burned.

Now his life was predictable and he loved knowing exactly what he was going to do tomorrow those facts filled him with contentment and satisfaction.

His therapist had said, "develop a routine, it will give you structure, this will help your life get back on track."

He had taken those words literally.

He came to a stop right outside his front door.

The running each morning helped him, especially on those nights he had nightmares and he could almost hear Mary's voice.

Shaking himself out of it he picked up his newspaper on his way in. Many people now loved reading news from tablets or their phones; he just loved the smell of the newspaper. The smell reminded him of his daddy.

As soon as he opened the door his cat Mel ran to the door like he missed him. He knew better Mel was probably just hungry or wanted to slip out between his legs. He was not normally a cat person but when he bought the house, it came with the cat. He did not have the heart to throw him out and the company was not bad.

Being that Mel had been on his own so long he would sneak into the neighbors houses for food even if Blake fed him. The neighbors complained and it had to stop so he started locking him in the house. For the two days sleep was ruined for him as Mel went ahead to rip and knock everything over.

On the third day Blake locked him in the bathroom and that was when they came to an understanding.

As much of an understanding as a cat and man can get.

Mel makes noise, Mel sleeps in the bathroom.

Simple.

He picked up the phone to call his friend Nathan as he got the cat food from the top shelf.

"Hey lazybones, wake up," he said as soon as he heard a grunt from the other end of the line.

That was met with more grunting and groaning.

"Waky waky the sun is up."

"Go fuck yourself," was the only answer he got to which he burst out laughing. Judging from the groan on the other end of the line or the look Mel gave him, his merriment was not appreciated.

"For your day to be right you have to start it happy," the voice of his therapist rang out again and he pushed it down. He had faked a lot of happiness until now, but he was actually enjoying waking Nathan up.

"Hey language Mel is listening," currently Mel was chewing down on his food and would not give a damn if they swore all day.

"You and that damn cat of yours," Nathan said still grumpy.

"He loves me," to which Mel released a sigh that sounded so much like yah right. "Anyway get your butt up today we are going hiking remember."

With a sigh of realization that he was never going to get back to sleep, "You know I could just disconnect this call and go back to bed."

"I have the coffee ready."

Suddenly chipper, "Next time lead with that, I'll be there in five minutes." Then he was gone.

Placing the phone down with a chuckle, "Man he was easy."

Exactly five minutes later Nathan burst in through the back door chanting coffee coffee coffee.

Standing next to the kitchen island he watched his friend assault his coffee maker, "Good morning to you too."

"Asshole," was the only answer he got as he filled his cup up.

"Now that is so much better," Nathan said after finishing up the whole cup in three gulps.

"You swear too much for a cop," Blake replied, "and does the coffee not burn you? That thing was hot."

Raising one finger, "first I swear the right amount for a cop to put up the type of crap I put up with in a day." Pausing, "Second, I have developed a tolerance for hot coffee."

Laughing, "So what has put you in an extra grumpy mood this morning?"

Filling his cup again he took a seat on the stool next to where Blake was standing.

"One word, Mrs. Iffy."

Chuckling, "technically that is two words," to which he got a murderous glare. "Okay what did she do this time?"

"She took a frying pan to Mr. Iffy for not putting the toilet seat down. When I got there she was running after him around the coffee table shouting about air bacteria and viruses."

By the time he was done Blake was bent over laughing so hard. This was why he woke up Nathan in the morning there was always a funny story.

Chuckling Nathan added, "One day those two will end up killing each other, not from one hitting the other but from all the running around they do. They are eighty they should be seated somewhere knitting and chewing tobacco."

Wiping a tear, "That would be the day."

"Speaking of which I hear they have a niece coming to town this weekend," Nathan said trying to look nonchalant, "Maybe you two will hit it off."

He had not dated since Mary passed away five years ago and he could not blame his friend for trying to help but he was not ready. He still needed more time.

The easy mood lost, "Yah maybe," he moved to the sink.

"Man it has been five years, it's time to move on and maybe a stranger here for the holidays is just what you need."

Jaw tightening he placed the cup down with more force than necessary, "Not interested." For a minute or two there was silence and tension.

Trying to lighten the mood Blake turned around, "Maybe she is as crazy as her aunt and uncle."

Chuckling, "Maybe even crazier."

To that they burst out laughing.

Easy mood restored.

What they did not count on thou was Nathan being right.

##  CHAPTER TWO

Roxy hated the village.

Maybe it was the dusty roads, the animals that were just waiting to bite her or just the lack of night life or anything interesting to do or the neighbors almost kilometers apart.

She hated the silence that came with the village which afforded her a chance to think about all the things in her life. That was why in the city she just immersed herself in the life. Following all her whimsy and tingling in her mind. Stopping and silence meant she had to reflect on what her life meant.

After the spectacle from one year ago she could not go back to the city yet. When she had been released from the hospital today the paparazzi were waiting. She had to give it time for the story to die down and people to forget.

In her mind they had all overreacted.

It was not like the girl had died, a broken wrist was the least she deserved.

Three months, she thought as she pulled up in front of her aunt's house.

She was giving people three months to forget.

From the look of things around here if she stayed more than three months she was headed back to the mental hospital, this time voluntarily.

She never really knew her aunt even though she was her mum's sister. They had met only one time when she had come over to the city and she could remember the tension between the two sisters. She remembered because her aunt brought her a doll she had loved, for an eight year old that was a big deal.

She was startled and jumped when someone knocked on her window. Her aunt was peering at her through the window so she rolled down the window.

"Hey," she said as she got her backpack and got out of the car.

She was caught off guard when she felt arms around her. Her aunt was hugging her; this was weird to her because the only person who ever hugged her was Sabrina. After a few minutes of just standing their awkwardly, Mrs. Iffy let her go.

Undeterred by her non-response she went to help her with her bag; Roxy shifted just in time to avoid her hands.

"Suit yourself," Mrs. Iffy said as she started towards the door.

That was the first time she noticed the slight limp in her gait.

"You came at the right time, the crazy man; my husband is out so he won't bother you. Lunch is also ready so you can go in and take a shower, the join me for a meal. Then we can go sightseeing, do you love the river?" She asked right as they got to the doorstep and turned around as if she expected an answer. Blocking the door which was the only way in.

Truthfully, Roxy had clocked out when Mrs. Iffy started talking, but not wanting to seem rude she answered, "Yes."

She did not even know what she had agreed to; maybe she was giving away her first child. The smile on her aunt's face was worth it. She did not know her well but considering she was among the only remaining relatives and was letting her stay around free, making her happy felt great.

Appeased she stepped aside to let her in, like that was the password; it seemed that if she said No she would be shuttled back to the vehicle and sent back on her way with no goodbye.

The house was clean that was the first thing she noticed when she got into the room. As a writer she was programmed to notice a lot of details.

Green sofa that had white spread clothes with hand stitched red roses and lace all around. Two soft brown stools with a matching coffee table and a large rectangular television that looked like it had seen better days.

She could not help but notice the small details like the wear and tear on the coffee table, how everything was arranged in place like someone who lived here had a small case of OCD.

Mrs. Iffy picked up the purple thread of what seemed like a sweater she had been knitting from the chair.

"Come on. Sit down."

She sat on the hard cushion and tried to make herself comfortable. This was going to be home for the next three months so she better get used to it. She hugged her backpack to herself because it contained everything she owned at the moment except for her bank account. Most important thou was the manuscript she had been working on that had made her go 'crazy'.

For one year when she had been locked up in the luni bin she could not get herself to write it, now that she was out she had to try again. She had the feeling that this was going to be the best book she ever wrote.

It did not matter that she had the same feeling about all her other books.

Ignoring her Mrs. Iffy went about dusting and whistling out of tune. She then disappeared down the corridor and came back with a white chipped bowl covered with a matching lid. She placed the bowl on the table then disappeared again this time she came back with plates. Then she went back for spoons. Still whistling out of tune she went back for the salt shaker.

Roxy just sat there feeling like she was watching a movie on theatre, from the outside looking in.

Mrs. Iffy stopped and started counting all the utensils, definitely OCD, Roxy thought.

With a cheerful clap, "well let us get started, that man of mine will have to help himself when he gets back home." Shaking her head, "Damn bastard does not even know when it is time for lunch," there was no heat behind her words. "Back when I was a child by lunch time you start hanging around the kitchen. You snooze you lose."

She continued to regale her with tales of her childhood as they enjoyed a meal of rice and beans. The food she could live with the stories thou would drive her crazy.

No way was she staying here; with all the money she had she was sure she could find a temporary place to rent.

How she was going to tell Mrs. Iffy that without pissing her off was still a mystery.

## CHAPTER THREE

The only thing Blake loved about coming home was the silence.

He loved that for months he did not have a neighbor who would pester him or play loud music. It was also a blessing because he did not really like people and the silence it afforded him was divine. The only people he liked were Nathan and his little sister Carly who was not currently in the country. With other people he had to pretend to be chirper and happy about everything. Or explain why he was grumpy and then apologize for it. With Nathan and Carly he did not have to pretend because they understood him.

So saying that he was a little irritated when he got home one evening to see a welcome mat on the neighbor's door was an understatement. As it was pink in color, he hoped his neighbor was not some chatty lady who would want to get to know him. If they both stayed on their side of the house and maintained boundaries they would be fine, he thought as he opened the door.

After Mary's death he had moved away from the city and was lucky to find a job as a mechanic at one of the garages in town. His job as a mechanic was perfect as it did not require him to interact with anybody while working. Only small talks during breaks with other mechanics were the requirements from him.

He had been sad to close his shop in the city, especially when it was doing so well but there he was drowning in memories. Finally he had sold out for quiet a substantial amount and walked away from everything. He did not get the job because he needed the money; he worked because if he stayed at home he would be depressed. Working on his cars gave him something familiar to do and he was damn good at his job.

As soon as he opened the door Mel came running. He wanted to think it was because he missed him but he knew better. He bent down to scratch behind his ears and Mel purred stretching out.

Smiling, bad mood forgotten, he took of his coat and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

He could not hear anything through the wall so maybe he would get along just fine with his new neighbor.

Maybe she was not even a she.

Chuckling, yeah right like a guy would have a pink doormat.

He was in the middle of his evening nap when he heard it. At first he thought he was just dreaming of partying in a club, but it had been such a long time since he partied so he knew that was not right.

He woke up fast.

There was music, loud music, coming from across the wall. No way in hell was he going to keep up with this.

The new neighbor had something to learn.

Steamed up he stormed out of the house and banged on the next door.

Ooh this was going to be good, he thought banging some more.

He was mid banging when the door was jerked open. Stunning was the only word that came to mind.

Everything he had wanted to say just disappeared.

Fumbling for words he felt like a teenager again.

He felt like a teenager boy who did not how to talk to a girl.

"Yes, can I help you?" She asked.

He still had not recovered his voice.

After a couple of minutes she banged the door on his face and could actually hear the lock click shut.

Well, that went well.

## CHAPTER FOUR

"This is not funny," Blake repeated for about the fourth time.

It was not like Nathan listened to him now or even the last three times he had said it. Since he had told him about everything that had happened last evening it seemed like Nathan could not stop laughing. He did not know why he had told him in the first place, he could have just shut up and no one would have known about it. It was like it had just slipped when Nathan called him last evening and up to date he could say that was his biggest mistake. They were in Blake's kitchen for their morning rendezvous before work.

This morning he did not even have the pleasure of goading Nathan awake, when he got back from his ran Nathan was there waiting for him. He was seated on the single stair patting Mel who seemed to enjoy his company more than he did Blake's. When Mel saw him coming he walked away, his tail sticking proudly in the air.

Damn traitorous cat.

"So you just stood there like an idiot," those were the first words Nathan uttered from his laughing fit.

"Kind of, but if she had not slammed the door on my face I would have come up with something to say eventually," he tried to defend himself.

Wiping the tears that had leaked out Nathan snorted, "Yah right."

Banging his head lightly on the kitchen counter, "I have never felt so speechless. I guess it has been a while since I noticed a beautiful woman, seeing one just sent me into a tailspin."

"Yeah after Mary died you buried yourself under the rock, it's about time you crawled out of it."

Speaking of Mary turned the mood somber.

"I should have done more for her," he said and Nathan knew exactly what he was talking about. "How could she think that the army was more important than her? She was everything to me."

Placing his right hand on Blake's hands that were on the counter, "she knew how much you loved the service and how much those you served with were like family. She did not want you to choose."

"I just wish she had given me a chance."

Silence fell in the room for about a minute the Nathan spoke up, "You noticing a woman for the first time would be good for you at least we know some parts of you are still alive."

Blake gave Nathan an edgy smile, "Yah we will see about that."

##

##

## 

## CHAPTER FIVE

He was a runner, Roxy thought as she ran after her neighbor.

The ease with which he took each stride and breath showed that he was comfortable with running at this hour of the morning. She did not know why she had followed him this morning after banging the door on his face yesterday but it had just felt right. She could not sleep all night trying to run through book scenarios in her head and coming up empty again. She needed something to get her out of her funk and start writing again. So when she heard the next door open and shut at four o'clock in the morning she had hurried to the window. When she saw her neighbor come out of his house in his running gear she knew she had to follow him.

That meant running around the house looking for comfortable tennis shoes and throwing a pink polka dot sweater on top of her pajamas. She was out of the door when she remembered that running entailed a lot of bouncing boobs so she went back for her sports bra. By the time she was out of the door he was done stretching and a good ten minutes ahead of her. This meant she had to make a dash to catch up with him. It had been a while since she ran so that was not easy by the time five minutes had elapsed she was breathing like a horse and her legs felt like lead.

He had his earphones on so she assumed he could not hear her huffing and puffing behind him like an old rhino charging.

She did not see the reason why people put themselves through the torture of working out. She had been born with an amazing figure; flat stomach, big ass and as long as she ate right she did not have to go through exercising. When other kids were running outside she was busy sneaking one of her mum's books and reading it on a tree branch somewhere. In high school when it was time for sports she would hide in the Muslim prayer room and just read. The only one month she ever worked out was when Sabrina got it into her head that they needed to live a fit life. Escaping had not been an option as they lived next to each other and Sabrina could be quite persistent. That had been the longest month of her life, longer even than the year spent in the mental hospital.

That was what made running this morning after him among the stupidest things she ever did. Yet it had been her gut, after being locked up for a year, being able to do what she wanted, when she wanted was great. Even if her lungs and legs did not agree with her new found independent thinking.

As she tried to keep up with him, her chest started burning, and she felt like she could not breathe, yet it was exhilarating at the same time. She did not even realize when she fell, for some reason in her head she thought she was still moving. Then she realized that she was moving towards a night filled sky, which seemed odd. It took some time and a couple of deep breaths of fresh air for her to realize she was actually on the ground, on her back facing up. Weird indeed.

Well, that brought the end to running, she thought as her breath returned back to normal. There was no way she was getting up any time soon so she made herself as comfortable as she could. Wiggling her butt on the ground a little to settle in better, she closed her eyes for a nap. She had been so concerned about her comfort she did not realize that she had company, so when a shadow fell over her she felt her heart hit her throat.

This was the end for her, she thought as she opened her eyes slowly, instead of going back home she had stayed to sleep on the ground to sleep. Now she was going to be food to some wild animal, the price people had to pay for little comfort.

"Do not make any sudden movements," she remembered a narrator of some wild television show on Discovery Channel saying, "Move back slowly, and do not spook it. Get as far as you can then run like an animal was after your sweet ass." Okay so maybe the narrator did not put it that way, but at the moment the message was what was important not how it was delivered.

The first thing noted when she opened her eyes was the fact that there was a penis pointing at her and a really naked man standing above her. Forgetting all about the advice to move slowly and not spook the animal, self preservation kicked in, she scampered to her feet and ran so fast she was sure she could win the Olympics. This time round she did not feel the shortness of breath, the burning of her lungs or the distance home. She did not stop until she was behind a locked door. She collapsed on the door and slid to the floor and placed her hands around her bent knees.

A wild animal she was ready to deal with, but a naked man in the middle of the night? No way was she ready for that sort of crap.

Nathan came over like usual and plopped himself onto the kitchen island stool, looking like he had been through the ringer. Technically Nathan was not the only cop in the village but the administrative police was so old, he slept through everything. That left every aspect of security to Nathan who took his job way too seriously. He looked after everybody from Brody the village drank to the old woman who lived in a leaking hut at the edge of the village.

Two years ago, coming over for breakfast every morning had been a ruse to check up on him, make sure he was okay. At first it was Nathan who used to make breakfast but as Blake got better, he took over and it became kind of a tradition to have breakfast together.

This morning Blake was in a really jovial mood, the show he had gotten this morning was more than he had bargained for. As soon as his neighbor had started watching him from the window he knew. He had been on the edge of danger too many times he had developed a seventh sense of knowing when he was being watched. When she had gotten out of the house to follow him, he was curious to see what happened so he had kept his mouth shut. That combined with the fact that for some reason he was still speechless around her. When she had gone back to the house he had been a little bit disappointed. Only to feel her again a few minutes later and she was not a runner.

He placed Blake's coffee and omelet in front of him and went ahead to make one for himself chuckling under his breath.

"So what has got you in such a jovial mood this morning," Nathan grumbled after he took his first sip of coffee. Blake did not answer he just chuckled again as he went on to make his breakfast. Blake mumbled under his breath about him finally losing his marbles and being a teenage girl, but no way was he just going to talk about it when he was cooking. This was too good he might end up burning himself.

After a few minutes he placed his plate and cup down, took a seat next to Blake then finally spoke, "My lovely neighbor met Stephen today."

Nathan who was just about to swallow his eggs, choked on it and Blake had to pound his back to help him breathe again.

In between breaths, "And he was..?" Blake asked.

Nodding his head yes, "mmmh, scared the crap out of her."

Now feeling normal again, Blake chuckled, "poor girl."

Laughing, "You should have seen how fast she ran back home. I wanted to go after her but I felt like I would just spook her some more."

Nathan then went ahead to narrate the whole story to Nathan who seemed to have perked up considerably. When he was done they were both laughing so hard, they had to hold on to the island so as not to fall from the stool.

When they resumed eating, Nathan brought something up that Blake had not thought about, "You know during the scare maybe she did not see Stephens face."

Still not catching up, "So?"

"So she thinks you and her were the only two people out there."

Finally getting it, "So she thinks I stripped out of my clothes and was about to do some horrendous stuff to her?"

Blake nodded.

"Ooh crap."

Mel who had jumped onto the kitchen island seemed to agree.

## CHAPTER SIX

Since Roxy did not have a job, she had the whole day to herself.

No boss waiting for her to finish some assigned duties.

No minions looking up to her to give them their matching orders.

She was free and frankly it was boring. At first when she had started out her writing career, she had been living with her mother. As her career picked up she had moved out but still had no job, all she had to do was meet the deadline by her publishers. She got to do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. After her stint at the institute, she felt restless like she needed something challenging to do. Something that was new and exciting. Hopefully help her get her mojo back from wherever she had gone hiking.

So at about ten o'clock that morning she kicked off the blanket and climbed out of bed, determined to find some kind of job. There ought to be a diner somewhere looking for help, she did not need to get paid. What she needed was something to do and some inspiration.

She hunted down some jeans and top that smelled clean, threw on a pair of tennis shoes and she was out of the house five minutes later.

Let the hunt begin.

#####

When she came back in the evening, it was to find her aunt Mrs. Iffy waiting for her at the door. She was surprised it had taken her this long to come over, she had expected her yesterday. Convincing her aunt she should move out of her house had been a struggle to put it lightly. At last when she had finally convinced her that her being around would just cramp their style, her aunt made sure to look for the house she would live in herself. She called a friend she knew who had a friend who had a sister whose husband had built some rental houses. Her idea to go out to house hunt like normal people was met with stoic looks of "You do not know what you are doing" and a speech on houses with bad vibes.

When she had finally moved, Mrs. Iffy insisted on accompanying her with her church sisters and a few household items. Which surprise, were pink. Her doormat looked like Disney channel had puked all over it. To disagree would mean she had to stay at her aunt's house, so she had swallowed the pink pill and moved on.

It was a small price to pay.

She went to say hello and her aunt pulled her in for a hug. For such a petite woman she was strong and resistance was futile as she was enveloped in a big hug. The more she resisted in returning the hug the tighter the hands around her got until she gave in.

So much for greetings being optional.

Stepping back her aunt examined her, "You look like you are not eating. Come let's get you something to eat."

Then she marched towards the door assuming Roxy would follow and open the door to let her in. After a second of contemplating of ways to get rid of her aunt she decided to go with the path of least resistance and opened the door. It was not like she had a choice in the face of her aunt's determination.

When they got into the house her aunt went directly for the kitchen. Roxy winced as a pan was banged onto the counter. She had not done the dishes for several days but that was no reason to manhandle her dishes, she thought as she headed for the bedroom.

The days efforts had been futile, she had not gotten a job by just asking around but she had managed to take a walk down the river before she got back. She loved how calm it made her feel hearing the water rush by.

She wondered how long her aunt had sat out there waiting for her, but knowing how relentless she was that might have been a while. Why did she not just call me on the phone and I would have come right back, she though as she headed to check on the noise that had somehow increased in the past five minutes. Digging her flip phone from her pocket she checked if she had missed her call. Seeing none she tucked the phone back into her jean pocket.

When she got to the kitchen she found her aunt hard at work cleaning up the dishes. That reminded her of Sabrina and she almost cried she missed her friend so much. But Sabrina was now so happy with new love, she would leave her be for the time being and catch up with her when she got back to the city.

Shaking herself off from the funk she picked up a dish towel and joined in drying and arranging the dishes.

They worked in sync but in silence each lost in their own thought. She did not know why he aunt was here, probably to check up on her, but at the moment she was happy she was not alone. After they were done she cleaned up the house as her aunt made some milk tea.

When she was done she was pleased with how good the house looked so she joined her aunt at the kitchen island.

"Now this looks like the house of a lady," Her aunt said and she silently rolled her eyes. Nobody ever died from a disorganized house before.

"Thanks for helping me clean up," She said as she helped herself to some bread, her aunt must have found some she had leftover from breakfast.

"Welcome," After a bit of silence, "This place looks nice."

It really was fantastic; the view from the kitchen window was that of the rolling hills. She was not an artist but she felt like painting it, especially in the morning when the rising sun cast a soft glow over it washing it in a soft yellow, almost like butter.

"Yah it does," she said and they just sat there in silence enjoying their tea and the view.

After they were done they cleaned up the dishes and went to watch news in the seating room chatting about everything and nothing all at the same time. The weather, the buildings blocks, the rivers and basically the life, it was just meaningless talk to fill up the time.

By the time the darkness had set in she was just content to sit there and listen to her aunt talk about her childhood. How adults always thought that everybody wanted to hear about their childhood was above her but she was not rude enough to interrupt. She let her thoughts drift to this morning's incident as her aunt went on and on about walking to school barefoot.

Granted she had no right to follow her neighbor as he went on a run but still that did not give him the right to strip naked and scare the crap out of her. The more she thought about it the more she came to the conclusion that it was not her neighbor, the body build was different but it was dark so she was not really sure.

As a writer she had learned how to ask the right questions to get the answers she needed for her books. Most of her work was completely fictional but once in a while when she needed more information she went into full journalist mode. Which was a weird because she had never studied journalism; she was just good at finding out what needed to be discovered.

Interrupting her aunt's story as she enthusiastically compared her life then and life now, "So today morning I ran into a naked man." Sometimes being blunt yielded the best results and it served to shut her aunt up.

After a minute of silence, "explain."

Of course she was not going to tell her aunt that she went to follow her neighbor for a run in her pajamas after not running for almost one year.

"I was not sleepy so I went for a walk at night outside to get some fresh air," yes that seemed plausible.

Quirking her eyebrows like she did not believe her yet she was thankful she did not ask a follow up question.

"You must have run into Stephen."

"Who is that? And how do you know him?"

With a smile, "He is our resident night runner and our MCA."

Ridiculous.

"People elected him to be the MCA? Did they know that he was a night runner?"

"Yah being a night runner is in his bloodline, it was something passed down from generation to generation, we do not let it define him. He is actually a really good man."

Again ridiculous.

People passed down names from generation to generations hell some even passed down a weird ear or nose but she had never heard of running outside at night naked being passed down from generation to generation.

For the first time since she started interviewing people almost ten years ago she did not have a follow up question. Her aunt obviously did not need one as she went ahead to explain how Stephen was different from other night runners because he did not cause any chaos he just ran.

He even had the decency not to throw stones at people's roof when they were asleep or take a dump on someone's door or steal food as it was cooking outside.

This were apparently things other night runners did but since Stephen was on patrol all night he made sure that all the houses were safe from stones and flying poop. The number of chickens, goats and cows being stolen around had also reduced significantly since Stephen Patrol.

He was like their own resident superhero.

The naked Batman.

Utter madness.

## 

## CHAPTER SEVEN

Life came and went by so fast; Blake was a witness to that as he watched his wife waste away everyday being eaten by cancer. He was okay now but at first the guilt of not being there for her when she was diagnosed had eaten him up. By then he had been deployed and did not know until the cancer was at stage two, Mary did not want to worry him so she had never told him she was sick.

When he came home for breaks she just pretended like everything was okay. All was explained and attributed to job stress from the loss of hair to the loss of weight. One of the breaks he was about to go and confront her boss when she finally broke down and told him she was dying.

That was the worst day of his life.

He regretted not being there and after she was gone the guilt consumed him even though she told him not to be guilty. Even when he promised her that he would move on with life nothing ever felt the same again.

But now he had started healing, he thought as he put on his running shoes and tied the laces.

Then when he tried to run he fell right down on his face.

*****

She had tried really hard not to laugh as he put on his shoes. For a moment he had looked so pensive and thoughtful she had thought he was going to go back inside. During that moment he had let his guard down and it was like she could relate to him. She felt what he was going through just by looking at him, the air around him was pretty pensive.

Then he had cleared up and started putting on his shoes.

She had thought he would start by stretching and realize his shoes were glued to the ground yet he started out in a full run. Before she could run out and save his ass he was face down on the ground.

Running out to ensure he was okay she found him lying and groaning on the ground.

He looked okay but his ego was probably bruised for life now.

The shoes had dislodged from the ground when he fell, she went to help him seat up on the veranda.

"Stop being such a baby," she told him as he groaned when it was obvious it was just to be dramatic.

"Great you bobby trap my shoes and I cannot complain when I fall on my face," he asked rolling his eyes.

Chuckling, "rolling your eyes like a twelve eye old girl really proves you are such a grown up. Let me check if you broke anything." She tried not to notice how he was in his prime when she looked at him, he filled out well. If she was writing again he would have been the perfect lead character.

Defined jaw line, eyes set deep in his socket which made him look like he was focused on someone even when he was not, like now. He watched as she perused him for any injuries and came up with only some few scrapes and bruises that he would live with.

"You look as good as new," she said as she sat up from where she was kneeling in front of him.

His focus never shifted from her. For a moment it made her feel uncomfortable like he actually saw her.

After a second, or was it a minute, "I am Blake."

Taking his outstretched hand into hers, "Roxy," she felt the jolt of awareness running through her.

He did not release her hands and she was in no hurry to release his enjoying the roughness of his hands against the softness of hers. They just sat their staring and lost in each other for what seemed like forever. She thought he was going to lean in and kiss her which was ridiculous.

She did not like that he could read her like that.

Standing, "Okay since I am solely responsible for your downfall then least I can do is make you breakfast." She said breaking the spell.

Standing also, "Yah I guess I better go for that run now."

"Try not to fall on your ass again," she said as she headed for her house.

"How will you know when I come back?" He asked as he started walking away.

"We have already established that I spy on you, I will know," she answered with a chuckle as she got into the house and closed the door behind her leaving him standing there smiling like a fool.

Why he was happy on being spied on, he did not know.

*****

When he came back from his run it was to find Nathan and Roxy seated outside talking like long lost friends and he would have to admit the first feeling he felt was jealousy. Which was ridiculous since Roxy was not his to claim in any way. That did not affect how he felt anyway.

He had taken longer than usual on his run because he was distracted and twice he had almost fallen again from not looking where he was going. This made his pissed because she had easily gotten to him when he was still trying to be immune.

So it was not a surprise that Nathan was already here, the man had a nose for trouble and would most likely be poking into his business before the morning was over.

He could not help but notice how his friend leaned towards Roxy like he was hanging onto her every word. He also noticed how beautiful Roxy looked with the sun rays making her skin feel like it was glowing.

They had not noticed him all the time he had been heading towards them so he started stomping his feet louder the closer he got. Let them try and ignore that.

When they looked up and they just smiled at him like they knew what he was doing and were riling him up all along. That annoyed him so he did not say a word just stomped past them to open his door.

Baby, he heard Roxy whisper behind him then Nathan chuckled.

He did not have to look back to know that they will follow him in so he headed directly for the shower in his bedroom. Let them make themselves comfortable.

When he came back the smell of coffee encompassed him but there was also another smell in the room that for some reason he thought it was supposed to be pancakes. When he got to the kitchen it was to find Nathan drinking his coffee and trying not to laugh at Roxy's concentrated look as she tried to flip something on the pan. For some reason he thought it was supposed to be a pancake but he was not really sure.

He did not say a word just poured himself a cup of Joe and went to take a seat next to Nathan.

A second later Roxy set a plate in front of them with whatever it was she was cooking with such a triumphant look they did not want to hurt her feelings by asking her what it was, but they pushed their chairs a step back.

Looking up she noted the look of terror on their faces, she released a sigh, "That bad?" she asked.

"Woman are you trying to kill us," Nathan was the first one to speak.

Thankfully she was not hurt but she tried to look offended, "hey I worked really hard on that."

Trying to appease her a bit, "yah they do not look that bad," Blake said but he moved his chair back a bit more.

Smiling, "they are really that bad, I won't make you eat them," she said as she threw them out onto the dustbin. Both Blake and Nathan released a breath they did not even know they had been holding. Turning around back she said, "I am still counting this as making you breakfast thou."

He slapped his hand onto the kitchen island with a little more enthusiasm than warranted, "done." Then he stood up and shuttled her to his seat, as long as he did not have to eat her cooking he was okay to clean up later.

They continued to banter over coffee as Blake made them a peanut butter sandwich. They both complimented her on her coffee brewing skills and she went ahead to inform them that was basically the only thing she could cook without burning it.

An hour later she was seating in her house bored out of her mind with nothing to do when her phone rang.

"Don't do it," she smiled when she heard her best friend's voice over the phone.

"Do what?" She tried to sound innocent.

"Whatever it is you are thinking about."

Her friend had a knack for trouble, it was like she was tuned such that any time Roxy thought of getting into trouble she would call and warn her off. This time it had taken her longer for her to realize she was up to mischief, marriage was making her loss those skills. For that she was thankful.

"Don't take that tone with me, I know you too well and am not buying it," Sabrina tried to sound stern with her.

She laughed, she did not mean to but it felt good talking to someone who knew her well, "You are too late I already made my neighbor eat dirt this morning.

Laughing, "Poor guy what did he do to deserve that?"

"He set a naked man onto me," she said dramatically.

She laughed at her friends shocked silence then went ahead to explain to her about Stephen and his queer hold on the people. Then she went ahead to tell her about this morning, not the almost kiss, just about meeting Nathan and the breakfast together.

"I cooked for them," She said at this her friend laughed.

"Did they try it?"

"No you should have seen the look on their faces when I served them pancakes," she said smiling. "Then Blake made us all sandwiches." She said the last statement with a dash of whimsy and her friend who was too observant for her own good noticed.

"Who is Blake?" She asked.

"My neighbor," she said trying to sound indifferent but her friend did not buy it. Also the fact that during her whole story she had tried to make him seem unimportant made Sabrina more suspicious.

"Mmh neighbor tell me more about him."

Rolling her eyes, "I just met him."

Knowingly, "Mmmh, so you say." After a moment of silence, "You like him." It was a statement and at first she wanted to deny it then she realized she would just be lying to herself and her friend.

"Ooh hell," Sabrina swore at her silence.

They talked for a couple of minutes about Sabrina's marriage and her happy bliss with her husband and her little niece. Theirs was a romance story worth all the struggle and pain they had been through but in the end they had made it out a live and in love. She could write about them in her next romance book as a romantic thriller that ought to make everybody happy.

As soon as she started writing again and avoiding her agent's call she would deliver.

Now she needed something to do and get motivation for her next book or she was screwed as her contract stipulated she had to deliver three books in the next year yet she had not written a word since about a year ago.

Yippee.

Going out to look for something else to do that is what was on the agenda for the day.

If trouble was not coming to look for her she was going out there to look for it.

Let the games begin.

## CHAPTER EIGHT

"You cannot do this to me, you cannot do this to us; you have to give us a chance," Isabella begged trying to pull up the sheet and look decent. As decent as a person who has just been fucked and turned over and over could look.

With a tortured look on his face Matt pulled up his pants looking guilt. He did not know what he should feel guilty about more, ravishing his friend's wife while his friend was out fighting for the country and enjoying every second of it or hurting the woman he actually liked a lot.

They had been fighting the attraction between them since the day they first met when his friend introduced her to him as his girlfriend. The first thought he had when he had seen her for the first time was, wow, so angels do exist and they are fucking beautiful. That was right before he had spilled his drink on himself then spent the whole night looking like he had pissed himself and he did not care about that fact.

He was man enough.

The next time she had actually taken his breath away was when she was walking down the aisle to marry his best friend and he was the best man. She looked like a vision from his dreams of the perfect woman. He had almost taken a full step to her when he realized what he had done and backed back pretty quickly with a sheepish grin. So that was how he had spent his last three years, pining after another man's girl. Not any other man, his best friend's girl.

That was until today when he finally got a taste of his desires and realized just what he had been missing and man was it a treat. That could never happen again he actually loved his friend Brad, they had been friends since childhood and no way was he losing him over her. No way.

Buttoning up his pants, "Darling there is no us, you belong with Brad. This was a mistake he loves you and you two will end up making beautiful babies and living happily ever after." He smiled ruefully at her. Then he sat beside her bed taking her small delicate hands into his, "Nobody has to know about us."

She pouted as she looked at him still trying to convince him, "But that could be our forever after, we could make beautiful babies," she came to her knees letting the sheet fall to expose her breast. Damn she had really good breasts, just big enough for his hands and the dark areola just calling out for his mouth. "I can make it real good for us."

Almost caving, sleeping with her one more time would not hurt, "We would both loss Brad," he said kissing her neck. He could not loss Brad, he was the only one who pulled him from his dark place.

Breathlessly, "who cares about Brad, he does not treat me right."

Suddenly the boner he was nursing vanished and he was filled with rage. "I care, Goodbye Isabella." He would leave the country for a year and when he came back everything would be back to normal, Brad would be back and they will be living happily ever after and he would not love her anymore.

Tired he turned to leave, "I could always just tell him and then you would loss him for sure," Isabella spat out angry at being used and dumped.

He did not say a word just left and headed straight for the door as she kept yelling at him.

He almost opened the door to leave when it hit him and he started to panic, what if she told Brad for sure, and then he would loss his best friend and his childhood friend over a mistake that should have never happened to begin with.

He had to silence her.

He turned around and saw the knife they had cut fruits with earlier on the kitchen island now clean and shiny. The light reflecting from it made it shine and he knew that he had his answer right there.

She would not tell anyone.

She would never tell anyone he screwed up.

Brad was his nobody was taking him away from him.

He smiled.

Roxy was startled out of her writing stupor when she heard someone knocking on the door. She listened again when she realized that it was not her door that someone was knocking on but her neighbors. They were so close together and the doors were made of steel that she was confused at first but just for a moment. Irritated that someone had jolted her from her writing when she had just got to the best part she stood to go check it out of curiosity of course. It was not Nathan that she knew for sure, from their conversation this morning she knew for a fact he had a key and the back door was never locked so he would not knock.

She was not being nosy, she deserved to know her neighbors visitors in case one of them was a deranged serial killer. She wrote about them so she ought to know one when she saw one. Nothing more.

She pulled back the curtain to look out only to be met with quite a sight. There was a woman, in her early twenties quite pretty except for the excessive amount of makeup that made her look like a clown. Red lips and excessive blush she did not think even a person with fair skin would pull it off and look good. As if realizing she was being watching the she stopped knocking and turned to look at her window only to find her staring. She was met with eye pencil filled eyes, and the first thought on her head was abort spying mission, abort. Target has been compromised.

She ducked to a crouch and rolled her eyes, she had been watching too many spy movies lately.

As she tried to stay silent she knew she had already been compromised and this was confirmed by the click clack of the heels as target changed direction to come knock on her door.

The knock came like a second later.

She felt like going to hide but that would be such a little girl move.

She had already caught her spying so there was no reason to hide.

Straightening up she went to open the door and tried to pretend like she had not been spying the whole time. That was easy to pull off when she opened the door and saw the girl carrying a box of cake from the local bakery.

Suddenly she was cheerful and glad she had opened the door.

Smiling, "Yes can I help you?"

Bright red lips smiled back at her, "I was looking for Blake have you seen him around." That color on lips should be banned and all the brands that carry it thrown out of business.

She kept smiling, she was doing this for the cake, "He is not back but I would be able to tell him you came around."

Looking disappointed, she actually pouted but she came out looking like a duck; a clown duck; that thought made her smile for real.

"I brought something small for him," she said bringing the box forward and she smelt the delicious chocolate which according to her aunt was to die for.

Pretending to think for a second, "Maybe you could leave it for him here and I will make sure he gets it."

Obviously the woman had designs on her neighbor and she did not have the heart to tell her that she did not stand a chance, especially if it meant she would walk away with the cake.

Would she sell her neighbor out for cake? Definitely. Her stomach had just realized she had not eaten anything since morning and it was not five o'clock, the woman was not walking away with the cake even if she had to hog tie her to the fence.

Lucky for her the woman went for the easy option for both of them that included way less work on both ends.

She smiled brightly, "Ooh would you make sure he gets it with my note," she asked flapping around a red envelope. "Normally I would wait for him but I have to go get my child from school."

Poor child, she thought, but she kept the smile, "Of course it would be no problem. We women have to stick together." She added a wink for good measure.

She was doing this for the chocolate cake.

Laughing suddenly relaxed, she handed over the box and the card, "Tell him Vivian came to look for him."

"I definitely will," she said then she shut the door on her face.

She headed directly for the kitchen and served herself a huge chuck. She sat on her favorite chair and took a bite as she opened the card and moaned. So good.

I cannot count the times almost said what's on my mind

I didn't

Just the other day wrote down all the things I'd say

But I couldn't

Just couldn't

In case you did not know baby am crazy about you

I would be lying if I said I could live this life without you

She burst out laughing when she recognized it was basically the lyrics of Brett Young's song minus some several lines.

The woman apparently had good taste in music.

Ooh she would make sure her neighbor got the card and she would stand there to watch him read it. The cake thou he was not even getting a taste; Vivian could come back anytime, she was so welcome.

Taking another big bite she thought, mmh cake and entertainment; certainly worth being pulled out of her writing for.

So worth it.

## CHAPTER NINE

This was ridiculous, Blake thought from where he was crouched under the kitchen island hiding from Vivian. This was his house and he was a grown man who had served the Army for five years yet here he was hiding from a woman with a cat that was looking at him like he had finally lost his marbles.

He had gone down the moment he had heard the knock, he knew how she knocked and the only other person who came to see him was Nathan and he had his own key and knew about the back door. Except now there was Roxy too, he smiled as he thought about her.

Now that was someone he would not mind spending time with.

Vivian on the other hand was bat shit crazy. There was no other way to explain it.

The first time he had arrived in the village everyone had left him alone because he was still angry and did not talk to anyone. Fast forward three months later when he started his job he met Vivian when she came to the next door shop and he had smiled at her because he was trying to be polite and reintegrate into society. She had taken that as a cue to stalk him.

She came to the shop to make small talk and when he hid in the back room she found his home address and started to bring baked goods. At first he had opened the door out of curiosity and she had taken that as a cue to come back every other time.

She did not care that she was married with kids or that her husband was that scary man you meet walking around with a machete for no apparent reason.

He cared; he actually loved his life and wanted to reach the age of forty someday and see his kids. Not end up hacked into pieces in an alley somewhere. Or poisoned to death lying on his floor for Mel to eat his decomposing flesh.

The only reason the husband had not come for him was because he was best friends with the police. Had not it been for Nathan he would be floating in a river somewhere.

So he had resorted to hiding under the kitchen island with a judgmental cat like a coward.

When he heard the clank clank of shoes walking away he released a breath and went to peek through the window to see Vivian and Roxy talking. When Roxy slammed the door on her he fell to his knees and army crawled back to the kitchen. Good to see his army training was helping him out as a civilian.

When he was sure she was gone he stood and lit the bulb as it was already getting dark outside and hoped like hell she did not see the light and double back.

*****

She knew something was wrong the moment she woke up from her nap. She had eaten so much chocolate she had ended up with a sugar rush where she had danced around her house like a mad person. In her excitement from the sugar rush she had gone over to Blake's house and let herself in through the back door. Her head hurt just from thinking of how much and how loud she had laughed as Blake read the card.

So not cool.

She groaned into the pillow as she remembered trying to force Blake to dance with her and riding pig back on him when he had refused to dance with her. At one point she was sure she had broken down and wept because she did not have any more cake to eat. She must have crushed right after that.

Blake must have tucked her in because she was now in bed that smelt so deliciously like him.

She had practically broken into his house, laughed like a deranged witch and taken a ride on his back yet he had tucked her in.

Damn the man was good.

It did not make sense that she had crushed from eating one chocolate cake; she ate cakes bigger than that when Sabrina baked and she had never behaved like an idiot before.

Well she had behaved like an idiot severally but that was when she was clear headed.

Which she was not now, meaning the cake had been drugged, she thought as her head suddenly came up. That piece of shit had drugged the cake, granted it was not for her but still it was the principle that counted. She thought they had bonded; she was going to kill her.

Right after she peed and the tingling sensation went away.

******

Blake was not one for words and at the moment he was glad for that because he did not know what to say to Roxy when she finally came from the bedroom. He did not know whether he should laugh at her antics trying to take him down because he refused to dance with her or just pretend like nothing had happened.

He was going to go for the second option as part of the blame was on him, he should have warned her not to eat the cake. He had never eaten anything Vivian brought over because he had suspected long ago they were drugged; she had proven his theory right.

As soon as Roxy had stumbled in through the back door laughing he had known she was high.

From his old college days he had learnt that when someone got high they finally crushed so he had let her have her fun then when she crushed she was out like a light. One minute she was talking so fast about the new book she was writing next thing he knew she was already snoring.

She looked really peaceful and relaxed when she was asleep and he had carried her to his bed. She was the first woman to ever sleep in his bed and funnily enough he did not mind, he wanted to crawl into the bed with her and snuggle. He had sold off everything he had in the city when he moved and started afresh.

He forced himself to walk away; he then went to the kitchen to make some dinner. If she was high on what he thought, she was going to wake up hungry and ready to eat enough to feed and army. He was not an excellent cook but having lived with himself for a while he was able to make a decent meal that would pass master.

He passed out a sleep on the couch waiting for her to wake up while watching the news.

****

When she came from the bedroom it was to find Blake asleep on the couch which he was too tall for so his feet were hanging out from the edges. As she made her way to the kitchen she smiled because it reminded her of the penguins of Madagascar.

Carton was her one vice, whenever she was stressed up or her muse left she would watch reruns of King Julien and Tom and Jerry. Somehow they made life bearable even at the times she did not feel good.

She was so hungry; if there was nothing good to eat she was going to look for Vivian to give her some more cake even if it killed her. Luckily it seemed Blake had cooked so she just served some for herself and went to eat on the love seat watching him.

Poor guy had gone to sleep probably waiting for her to wake up so they could eat together. She contemplated waking him but even in the small sofa he seemed so peaceful.

If he got hungry during the night he would wake up for some food, she thought as she took the plate back to the sink.

After washing up she thought about going back to bed but it did not seem appealing, instead she curled up with him on the sofa. Somehow as if he knew she was there he pulled her closer to him and that was how she fell asleep.

Squished but content.

She jolted awake when she felt something thrown at her, it was light but it still made an impact. The sofa was not made for any sudden movements so when she jolted awake making Blake get up at the same time they tumbled on the floor.

They ended up with him on the ground and her on top and it was very apparent from what she could feel that he had been happy with their sleeping arrangement. He was happy with the position they were in at the moment.

For a moment they forgot that something had surprised them awake and just got lost in each other's eyes.

"Well well look at the lovely couple," When Nathan spoke they broke eye contact and Blake picked her up and placed her aside like she weighed nothing.

He then got up and stalked to the bathroom saying to Nathan, "I hate you."

All Roxy could do was giggle.

"Hurry up buddy breakfast will not make itself," Nathan shouted after him.

## CHAPTER TEN

Two days; it had been two days since he had seen Roxy and he was going crazy from missing her which was crazy considering they had known each other just a few days. He had thought he had gotten over his impulsive nature but she just brought out something in him he was not even sure himself what it was. He had this desire to be close to her and since the day they had slept cuddled together on the couch his bed seemed empty without her. He always looked at her window in the evening waiting for the light to flicker on and he had not seen anything for the past two days meaning she was not even around. Once he had even pressed his ear on the wall between their houses hoping to hear her move in there and heard nothing. She must have travelled right after they had breakfast with Nathan two days ago.

Not knowing where she was turned him into a grouch and Nathan who always grounded him had gone away to the city to consult on a case. So he was left to wallow on his own with Mel for companionship.

That evening when he came from work he found Roxy cuddled up a sleep on his sofa. His frown turned into a smile as he went to get her a throw blanket from the closet. He would not ask her where she had been, he was just happy she was back and he was going to keep her close from now on.

You do not look a horse's gift in the mouth.

***

Roxy cuddled deeper into the sofa and went back to sleep after she felt the blanket cover her. For the past two days she had been hunkered down in her house writing and when her muse came back she did not want any disturbance. Those were the days she lived on indomie noodles, green tea and a lot of coffee. She had not showered for those two days always falling asleep on the keyboard, waking up with keys imprinted on her cheeks and picking up right where she had left off. Her muse seemed to like Blake for wherever Blake was around she came out to whisper ideas to her and she was not complaining.

She wrote until she got to the point Brad realized that Matt was the one who had betrayed him, killed his wife and was a serial killer. Writing the emotional scene where Brad felt the betrayal and anguish for his friend drained her and she finally had to take a break. What better place than taking a shower and a nap at Blake's place?

So she had drugged her ass over to his house with her night shirt, taken a really hot shower, changed and fell on the sofa to sleep like the dead.

When she woke up it was already dark outside and Blake was seated on the love seat drinking tea and watching her sleep.

Seating up she stretched out her hands which pushed out her breasts and his eyes shifted focus as he shifted in his seat to be more comfortable. She grinned, "Like what you see."

A deep "mmmh" was all she got for a reply.

As she peeled the throw blanket she watched him knowing that her nightshirt was curled way up exposing her thighs. He shifted again in his seat and she smiled. He was interested at least they had a starting point.

She shifted to cover up and was getting up when she felt him close to her. He had shifted to the sofa and was seated directly in front of her. She looked up taking her time to caress his thighs, chest and face with her eyes. It was like she could see right through his clothes and she felt herself getting wetter.

He growled, "Stop looking at me like that."

Finally capturing his eyes she saw the passion burning behind them, if he had his way she would be down on her back in a second.

She felt her heart catch for a second, "How? The way you are looking at me?" She whispered afraid to break the spell they were under.

He moved closer and took her face in his palm for a soft caress on the cheeks, "You look like an angel when you sleep. So beautiful."

Then he kissed her like his life depending on it. She placed her hands on his chest to pull him closer and kissed him back. He placed his hands on her ass to pull her onto him until she was straddling him their groins perfectly aligned. She could feel just hard he was through his trouser and when she ground herself once on him he kissed her deeper. She heard a moan and at the moment she did not care if it was her or him she just wanted to feel him, to feel just how perfect this moment was.

The banging of the back door made them break apart and she placed her hand on her lips like she did not believe something that amazing could happen to her. She wanted to scramble back to her seat before Nathan got to the seating room but he would not let her go yet.

"Just a moment more," he said as he buried his head on her shoulder. She just held him for a moment more enjoying the connection between them. As a mystery writer who wrote mostly about murder and serial killers she did not believe in love, but at this moment she knew they had something. She still did not want to label it because that would mean she was attached to him. She did not do attachments and she was here only for a short while. Whatever they had would not last, if she stayed he would leave her, they always do.

She better remember that but with all that logic she still could not let him go.

"You two get a room," Nathan said as he stormed into the house.

Ignoring him he looked her in the eyes, "we shall finish this." It was a promise and he did not let her go until she nodded in agreement.

He turned to Nathan as she scrambled to seat more decently beside him, "I have a room, in fact I have a whole house you are the one banging in here at odd hours."

Nathan snorted, "Aww it's so good to see how much you missed me. Raising his right hand which had a take away bag from Kims Hotel, "I brought dinner." Then he turned around to head back to the kitchen. At the sight of food her stomach growled reminding her that she had not eaten anything apart from noodles in days.

Grinning at her Blake said, "That makes it harder to kick him out. Remind me to change the locks to my back door." He then kissed her and headed for the kitchen.

She went to the bathroom to straighten up and tell her body to behave and not jump him the next time she saw him.

***

Blake was smiling as he walked into the kitchen, he was happy for the first time in a long time. He had already started healing but this was a different kind of happy, this happy came straight from the heart.

When he got into the kitchen and saw Nathan's somber expression he knew a lecture was eminent. Raising his hand before Nathan said anything he said, "Do not ruin this for me."

Nathan just looked at him for a moment, "Just be careful, I found out some things about her when I was in the city that will not make you happy."

The happiness died and when Roxy came to eat he could not look her in the eye and he could feel her hurt all the way across the table.

Whatever she had done could not be that bad? He thought as he toyed with his food. By the time they had gotten through a really awkward dinner he had decided that whatever she was hiding he was not one to judge. Hell he even had his own secrets that he was not advertising to the world.

But by then it was too late she had come up with an excuse and left. He wanted to go after her but decided to give her some space and hear what Nathan had to say before he did that.

What a hellish way to end a perfectly good evening, he thought as he placed his head on the kitchen island to cool off.

## 

## CHAPTER ELEVEN

Roxy stalked off into her house and banged the door behind her louder than was necessary. Who cared, she was not waking anybody up she thought as she made her way straight for the liquor cart for some whiskey.

If there was ever a night where a shot of whiskey was needed it was tonight she thought as she threw back half the glass and refilled the glass again. This one she took with her and sank into the only sofa she had.

The house was sparsely furnished because she did not intend to stay around long so she had bought only one sofa, a bed, a plate and a cup; it was her aunt who had stalked up her utensils collection. Which was a waste since the only thing she could cook without burning was tea and noodles. If it was up to her she would have bought a plastic chair and a mattress. She would have to find a charity to donate all this, she thought as she took another sip of the whiskey.

The thought of leaving soon should have filled her with happiness; she was going back to her life, her apartment and her friend.

When she had come from the bathroom it was apparent that Nathan had told Blake about her past. It was not a secret it had been in all the newspapers across country and Nathan must have stumbled on it when he checked her out.

The fact that Nathan had done a background check on her should not have surprised her, he was a cop. She had even expected it sooner, as it was apparent he was just looking out for Blake.

The fact that Blake had decided to bring everything to a halt should have made her happy. Yet all she felt was emptiness inside. When she left for the city she was going to leave a big part of her life behind.

The fact that he had not given her a chance to explain hurt.

Yet how was she going to explain it? I threw my boyfriends girlfriend out through the window did not seem rational, she thought as her head hit the back of the sofa and she fell asleep.

She was startled awake when someone knocked on her front door. Setting down the glass that had surprisingly not spilled the whiskey on her, she stretched out the kinks on her neck. Sleeping straight on the sofa was not a good way to spend the night.

There was another knock on the door so she stood to go open the door. She could just imagine how she looked like and if it was half what she felt it was not good. She probably looked like a raccoon that had gone after his favorite chicken only to be chased away by the owner. Sad and kicked down too many times to count.

She opened the door to find Blake standing at her door in his running gear. He was not sweaty so he was on the way for a run so it was probably five in the morning. She wanted to jump into his hands and let him hold her for just a moment or two but she held herself back. Whatever they had together was over.

Blake looked so uncomfortable and for a moment none of them said a word they just stood there looking at each other in silence.

"I am sorry about yesterday," he said after a moment.

"Nathan told you."

"Yeah but I should have listened to your side of the story."

"That is just it; there is no other side what he told you is all true." She said sadly trying not to cry.

He moved closer and she took a step back, "I do not think this is going to work out, I am leaving in a couple of weeks and you deserve someone who will be there for you." She stood up to her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before she closed the door as she took a step back inside. She leaned on the door and slid to the ground; holding her knees up in her hands she cried for the first time since yesterday. She cried because she would never be normal enough or settle down long enough for him and he deserved normal.

***

This morning Blake took the long way around the field, he wanted to pound it out more and think for just a moment. What she had said was true, they were all wrong for each other. They had known each other for just several days. She was a celebrity in her own way so that would come with so much drama in their life of they were together. He was not sure he could deal with drama at the moment; he had just gotten his life in order.

Despite all this he knew that whatever they had together was special.

That he would not just find that with anybody.

After his wife died he had not believed he could fall in love again or be as happy as he had been yesterday ever again. But here he was again all twisted over a girl he more than liked. Their connection was like a drug now that he had a taste he wanted more.

He wanted it all despite the fact that he knew before it was over it was going to burn.

That was a risk he was willing to take for her.

He just had to figure out a way to prove to her that they were perfect together.

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## 

## CHAPTER TWELVE

Turned out trying to apologize to Roxy was harder than he thought it would be. The woman had turned avoidance into a skill and he was pretty sure she was still in the village because she had gone to see Nathan the previous day. That meant she was hiding out at her aunts. It was three days and he was tired of waiting her out so he decided to do the next best thing seek her out.

He was not sure he was welcome at Mrs. Iffy or even if the woman would take a pan to his head but he had to try. He looked at his motorcycle helmet before he left the house very tempted to put it on incase any of them got any ideas.

Nathan had told him about the visit, apparently she was finishing up her book and wanted to know how the police arrested people in a small village setting like this. Did they go in gun blazing with backup or when he made an arrest did he just go at it alone. Nathan had told her that it depended on the type of criminal they were arresting. Before she left she had told Nathan, "I do not want to hurt your friend, whatever happened between us was special but I have to let him go for his own good. One day I might have another breakdown and I will end up taking him down the spiral of crazy with me."

"That is what I am afraid of," Nathan had told her, "I just do not want to see him get hurt again." "You are a good friend," She said then she had turned around to leave.

As she turned the door knob Nathan asked, "Do you care about him?"

She had answered immediately without turning around, "Yes."

"Do you love him?"

After a pause, "That does not matter." Then she had left.

So okay he was not there to witness the exact event but from what Nathan had told him it was something like that. Nathan had also told him to go after what he wanted and he would support him no matter what. Not having Nathan's support would not have stopped him from going after her but it still felt good having it.

So today he had gotten off work an hour early to go get what he wanted most, her. And as he walked to Mrs. Iffy's house which was about ten minutes away he was actually scared.

Scared that he might leave the place with a concussion.

Scared that Mrs. Iffy might chase him and he would run away like a little girl, but he would always double back with another plan. Even if it meant bribing Nathan to use his police officer influence to get him a chance to see her.

That was how much she meant to him.

But most of all he was just scared she might have decided that she did not care about him anymore or want anything to do with him.

That would really hurt more than the frying pan to the head.

*****

Roxy was a runner.

She was not proud of the fact that whenever emotions got complicated she ran away instead of facing them. Most of the time it worked for her, she would just take some sedatives, sleep twenty four hours and when she woke up she was good as new ready to face the next challenge. This time the strategy had not worked she still woke up with the hollow feeling in her chest.

Trying to avoid attachments was why she never stayed in the same house more than a year.

She never had a relationship that lasted more than a year too except the last one and look how that ended with her in a mental hospital.

It was why the only friend she had was Sabrina and that was because Sabrina had stood up for her when she was at her worst. No one ever did that for her.

After she had closed the door on Blake she knew he would come to look for her to try and change her mind. So she had run again. Since she still had several chapters in her book to finish she could not exactly ran back to the city that left her aunts place. Even there she was using the avoidance technique knowing that her aunt would want to talk about why she had left her place. So in the morning she grabbed a fully charged laptop, had some breakfast and made her way to the riverside to write. The flow of the river calmed her and made the thoughts flow.

She would break at around noon for lunch because the first day she had not gone back her aunt had brought her food at the riverside. According to her aunt if she missed just one meal she would fall down and die of hunger and starvation. She did not want to inconvenience her anymore than she had so she went back home for lunch then back to the river to write until the mosquitoes chased her away.

Today she was working on the last chapter of her book where Brad drove off to go rebuild a new life somewhere far away from his home town. She had tried to write it five different ways but somehow they all seemed not to be right, something was nagging her.

She was so lost in her thoughts she did not hear someone come up behind her until they put their hands on her shoulder. She jumped so high the laptop on her lap flew right out of her hands. Lucky for her it landed on the sand, her notebook on the other hand was not so lucky she watched it land on the water and it was swept away by the current. She stood so fast, turned around and took a fighters pose, right foot forward, left foot backwards her hands raised ready for defense and strike. Those cardio kickboxing lessons coming in handy.

The fight drained out of her when she saw it was Blake standing behind her and he seemed amused by the whole thing.

"I should punch you in your smug face for scaring the shit out of me." She said as she resumed her seating position.

"Hello to you too," he said as he sat next to her.

When he moved in too close she stood up again trying to put the distance between them before she kissed him. With the remaining adrenaline still running through her that was a possibility.

She saw hurt flash through his eye for just a second and then it was gone as he stood up too.

"I should go get my laptop," she said then she turned and literally ran away but she knew she would have to come back. She would have to face him and they had to discuss whatever was going on between them. After three days of trying to forget him, she was not so sure she could do it. She wanted to take a chance with him.

What if he did not want her?

What if she jumped into the river and just swam away? She was not really good with emotions.

## 

## CHAPTER THIRTEEN

"Do you want me to swim after you? Because I will," Blake shouted from where he was standing. She had already retrieved her laptop and was staring at the river like she was contemplating jumping into the river and swimming away. That would be fun to watch but he would really swim after her if she went in.

With a sigh she answered, "No." Then she turned around and straightened her shoulder like she was preparing for a war. She painted a smile that was a mile wide but was also a mile fake.

He was going to lay all the cards in the table and try as hell to convince her he was a winning bet Getting past her aunt had not been easy, even getting the whereabouts of Roxy had cost him his favorite chair but it was all worth it. He was not blowing this up.

The woman was stubborn but he was determined.

When she got close enough he hooked his hands on the belt hooks of her jean shorts and used that to pull her forward. She did not get the chance to straighten herself from him before he placed his hand at the back of her head to tilt her face forward and kissed her like his life depended on it.

He used that kiss to show her exactly what he felt and just how much he really loved her. At first she did not let him in trying to remain strong but soon she relaxed on him. Her body became pliant and she opened her mouth to let him in. He used the chance to deepen the kiss.

When he had started kissing her it was just to prove to her that they were great together. That she could not resist him, but now he could not even remember what the point was. All he felt was how good her body felt pressed up against his. How good her boobs felt squished into his chest, he wanted to feel them. He wanted to feel all of her but he was not the time or the place. The first time they were ever making love was going to be special. He was going to worship her body before he finally drove himself in what he was sure was going to be heaven.

With that thought he broke of the kiss before he threw all caution to the wind. She protested a bit and tried to recapture his mouth. Placing soft kisses on her chin he whispered, "Not here, we have to talk first."

As if agreeing with him she moved backward, her defenses coming back up. He was not having any of that so he pulled her back to him and just held her for a second. She laid her head on his chest and he placed his on the top of her head. Just holding her and it felt like they were one, their heartbeats I sync with each other.

He could have held her forever but he knew that darkness was coming soon so he sat down and pulled her down to straddle him so they were face to face. He ignored the fact that at this position their groins were perfectly aligned and he was still hard from the kiss.

When she rolled her hips slightly he held them in his eyes and she looked down at him smiling as if she knew exactly how it affected him.

Smiling, "hey do not do that unless you want sand burn."

Chuckling, "Maybe you will be the one with sand burn." The image of her on top riding him as he came to an orgasm popped up on his head and he groaned, she laughed.

Placing their foreheads together with her hands on his necks and his hands on her hips they just sat there in silence for a moment.

He whispered, "What we have is special, do not throw it away."

She was so silent he thought she had not heard him but the surrounding was silent except for one chirpy from across the river. She acknowledged his words when she whispered back, "What if it does not last?"

"We have to try and I promise you that there is nothing I want more so I will work so hard to make you happy."

Placing her left hand on his chest where his heart was beating so fast she whispered back, "I will work very hard to make you happy too."

Looking her right in the eye he finally said, "I love you."

"I love you too," and then she kissed him.

They were startled out of the bubble they were in when they heard Nathan clap and cheer, "Finally, I was afraid I was going to have to see you two naked," he said coming towards them with Mrs. Iffy and Mr. Iffy right behind them. He clapped Blake on the back, "Man no one wants to see your ugly naked butt."

Laughing Roxy declared, "I do." To which Nathan just rolled his eyes and Blake kissed her laughing.

"What are you all doing here?" Blake asked when they finally stood up; he kept his hands around Roxy's waist. Now that she had declared her love she was his. Who was he kidding she had been his the moment he saw her.

Mrs. Iffy replied looking directly at Roxy, "we got worried you were away so long we thought one of you had thrown the other into the river."

Both Mr. Iffy and Nathan seemed to agree with her.

Laughing she answered, "Hey I am not a threat to him, I actually love him."

"Good," Mrs. Iffy answered then she pulled her away from Blake and frog marched her on the road back home giving her advice on how to take care of her man. She threw a desperate plea for help back at Blake who was silently laughing at her; he just shrugged his shoulders like it was out of his control.

Traitorous man, she thought as she was pulled all the way back home.

It was as if her aunt was scared if she let her go she might bolt.

People were so untrusting, she thought with an eye roll.

## EPILOGUE

Turned out Roxy loved the village life.

Blake had even kidnapped her for his morning jogs once or twice in the past month and she did not mind at all. They were still neighbors but she spent most of her time at his house.

That was where all the food was, she told Sabrina when they talked one day.

They had even invited Stephen over for dinner once and that was a memorable night to say the least. He was not what she had expected, he was warm and jovial, and he even apologized for startling her that morning. He was just checking up on her to see if she was okay, she had scared him lying on the ground eyes closed and not moving.

The best part came when Vivian came back again and this time she was the one who answered Blake's door. It had been spectacular to say the least, crazy meets crazy but by the time Vivian left she understood that Blake was her man and he was no longer available. Blake had rewarded her handsomely for that; she smiled just thinking about it.

Nathan still came over for breakfast everyday but he learnt how to knock before coming in. The one time he had done that he had run out and not spoken to them for two days. Said he had to bleach his mind with jic before he saw them again.

That man was too dramatic for his own good, but somehow they had become friends and she loved having him around.

This evening she stood by the kitchen windows in Blake's house taking a cup of tea and looking out at the sunset. Blake had just got from work and was taking a shower so she had a couple of minutes to enjoy the quiet. She loved the sunset, it always reminded her that whatever bad days or good days she was having they all came to an end and when tomorrow came she got another chance. Everyday brought with it a new start and a way to enjoy it all the time.

She must have stood there longer than a minute because she felt Blake's hands go around her waist pulling her back to her front. He smelt so good, like something fresh and minty so she leaned further into him and he pulled her closer.

For a moment they just stood there, content and happy.

What she felt for Blake was bigger than her; they had known each other almost two weeks before they declared their love for each other.

Some might call that crazy she called it fate.

It was like they were two peas in a pod, always meant to be together despite the distance between them that when they met everything just clicked in place.

"Have I told you how much I love you today," he asked her still holding her tight.

"In the morning, you still owe me an evening I love you."

"I love you so much, just like that sun even on the darkest days you will know I am here for you and on the brightest days, I will be the one holding you so tight."

"I love you too, Blake. I love you so much."

The end

If you love Spiral of Crazy look at the sneak peek to my other books.

I would love to hear from you my email is lynnjoanachieng@gmail.com

## SNEEK PEEK

BLOOM

JERKINS

This morning could not come any earlier for him; he had felt restless all night only falling asleep for about two hours before he bolted up awake again. Almost losing Linda had made him realize just how stupid he had been in keeping up with a sham of engagement. Actually he had realized it before and broken it off and was looking for a way to apologize to Linda when he got the phone call.

He could not forget that moment it was as if his heart dropped to his shoes when he had the news and all the way to the hospital he was chanting, please let her be okay.

God had answered his prayers and he was not going to lose her again, not ever even if he had to tie her to his side. That was why not spending the night by her side did not bode well with him but he needed to come up with a strategy on how to tell her how he felt. After screwing up a simple I love you was not going to cut it, he had to do it big and convince her to take a chance on him.

His first alarm rang and he was off the bed, first visiting hours were at eight and if he hurried he would be there thirty minutes early. Maybe he could charm the nurses with his celebrity status to let him see her before her family got there. What he had to do was best done in private.

For some unknown reason he was not surprised to meet Ken by the elevators, they were all in the same hotel. They did not speak just nodded at each other as they got into the elevator and pressed the ground button. They kept the same silence all the way to the hospital and Ken even stopped with him when he purchased some flowers.

He appreciated the effort he was making to accommodate him even if they did not voice it.

When they got to the hospital door he turned to Ken, "Buy me five minutes." He did not know if it would work but he had to give sneaking in a shot.

"Five minutes," Ken said as he stalked off to go charm the nurse on duty.

He even managed to sneak past the desk guard who was busy dozing off and he made it to the room Linda was assigned. As he opened the door he smiled, he felt good about this, and this was the beginning of their love story. The door swung open and the first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty.

No, this could not be happening. He closed the door again to recheck the room number; yeah he had the correct room. He heard a whimper that seemed like a hurt dog nearby as a sob wrenched from deep within, the only reason the room would be empty...

No, no, he could not finish that thought, she was fine. She had to be fine, they had forever together.

He did not even hear the footsteps coming up behind him as Ken approached saying, "Hey buddy your five minutes are up.

He turned around, he was sure he looked like someone shell shocked.

"Empty," he whispered hoarsely then blankness just embraced him and he was out.

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SNEAK PEAK

DADDY CRUSH
CHAPTER TWO

Three days ago

She was so late and her client was going to kill her. She had been distracted with the call she got yesterday from her sister. Seven months the girl had just disappeared out of thin air to call again that she was in trouble.

Yah right, like that was the first time. This time she was not dropping everything to go save her. Too many times to even count she had done that, left everything and went to save her sister. She had helped her get cleaned up and each time her sister swore that she was going to stop using whatever drug it was she was on at the moment. The promise would last a whole of two weeks before she disappeared again and the cycle started all over again.

Stupid oven, she said kicking it but she ended up hurting her toes and jumping around the kitchen like a stupid idiot. Cursing up a storm she examined her toes which looked fine but hurt like a bitch.

"You kiss your mama with that mouth?" Roxy asked coming in through the back door. She lived next door and often came to her house without invitation. She ate at her house; Sabrina cleaned her clothes hell she even slept there on those days she drank too much. They were best friends and it would be easier to live together but they would kill each other within a day. She was a neat freak while Roxy was the as opposite of neat as clean could get. She was not dirty she was just on the edge of clean and disorganized if there was such a thing.

How many times did she find Roxy's dirty laundry had made its way into her laundry? Too many to count. She kind of stopped complaining at the tenth.

"Come right on why don't you." She said sarcastically.

Ignoring the sarcasm, "Thanks I am low on sugar and coffee." She said as she made her way to the cupboard. "And all my cups are dirty."

Rolling her eyes as she resumed mixing up the ingredients for the red velvet she was baking, "It wouldn't kill you to clean up once in a while." She could not also count the number of times she snuck into her friend's house to clean up.

Finding the sugar and coffee Roxy picked them up and turned around, "And give you nothing to do." She asked faking her outrage. "I am just helping you out."

"By sneaking your laundry into mine and leaving utensils in the sink because you know they will drive me crazy until I clean them up?"

Slapping her hand on the tabletop, "I do no such thing."

Snorting she ignored her friend as she continued mixing up the batch. She sighed in relief when she finally heard the oven turn on. She realized it was probably time to replace the oven but she had an emotional attachment to the thing. It even had a name; Amelia.

Roxy laughed at her for days after she heard her calling the oven by name. Today as if realizing the prissy mood she was in, Amelia had refused to turn on. To tell the truth it had been happening a lot.

Maybe it really was time to replace it, but she loved the poor bastard.

As if she had just realized something important Roxy's head snapped up from looking at the boiling water.

"Wait a minute," it was more of a declaration. Such a drama queen.

"Why is there no sweet smell of cake baking by now? Did I wake up early?" she asked as she checked her watch to confirm the time. "Nop I am right on time."

She moved fast for such a skinny person and soon she was right in front of her, "What is wrong Sabrina?"

She only used her name in a statement when she was worried.

Today she had every right to be.

"Rose called." Sabrina answered.

"Oh balls."

And that described the situation perfectly.

CHAPTER THREE

Present day.

When you find yourself peeping into a man's house from the bush is when you start questioning all your life choices.

"If you want I can just come down there and steal that baby for you," Roxy said and Sabrina knew for her she actually could.

"No thanks just let me handle this in a civilized way. I will just go there and explain to him that I am the relative of that baby and then he will hand him over and we shall walk away," it felt like a cliché talking about civilization while she was a grown ass woman peeping at his house from behind the bush.

"He could be an axe welding murder or just a baby hogging madman," trust her friend to have an over active imagination.

Rolling her eyes even thou she was sure her friend could not see her, "Yes all those are real possibilities."

"Am serious thou if I do not hear from you in the next thirty minutes am coming down there."

"I can live with that," she said but Sabrina still did not hang up, talking to her friend calmed her down.

"Rose did a lot of stupid things but this is by far the stupidest thing she ever did," Roxy added and she did not disagree with her.

Her parents had named her young sister Rose and they had adored her and spoilt her rotten. They had been trying to get a second baby for a while that when she finally came there was celebration. Then when they died it was just the two of them and she kind of picked up from where they left off. By then she was only seventeen and had to raise a ten year old child. When the social services came she pretended she was eighteen so that they would not take her sister away from her. Her parents had been cleaver enough to weasel some cash away for them. Thou it was not much but plus the odd jobs she could get they managed just fine. Rose had never lacked for anything; Sabrina had made damn sure of that.

Sometimes she thought that she and her parents were actually responsible for the way Rose ended up. Rose had done so much shit in her life sometimes even disappearing for days on end but she always knew Sabrina would be there for her. So when she had called this time she thought it was just normal sister act until the next day when she called again. To tell her that she was in labor and heading to the hospital to give birth. Would she please meet her there?

She had taken the first bus to the city. Only she was still too late to save her baby sister this time.

Guilt ate at her, maybe if she had arrived sooner, looked for her more she would not be dead.

Tears she did not know were falling slipped down her cheeks," I still can't believe she is gone," they took a moment just to reflect. Taking a deep breath, "Yet this is not the time to be sad I have a little baby waiting for me to rescue her."

Roxy, "Go get them tiger, and remember I am here for you."

As she disconnected the call she was grateful she had a friend like Roxy by her side. She did not know what she would have done without her in the last ten years.

Taking a deep breath she turned to face the house, "well here goes nothing."

SNEAK PEAK

FOREVER US
PROLOGUE

As the DJ cranked the music up to hip hop, Sasha Aludbe shook her ass regardless of the fact that her dancing and music were not even close to being in sync. It was so long since she had felt this freedom, so long before she'll feel it again. Sasha felt her heart beat steadily to Wiz Khalifa's work hard, play hard. She felt the sweat trickle down the open back of her black dress.

The effects of the black ice she had downed so far were seeping through her blood to her system into her brain. She felt it all, and it was just exhilarating, for the first time in four months she was free.

Time to change the steady twist of her ass into slow adulations of her waist as the DJ played Eminem's No love. Ok, the song was not danceable, but she did not care. Each word, each beat resounded in her brain. She felt a man's hand around her waist just as the DJ picked up the beat. So she as she picked up the steady shaking of her ass on his groin.

She did not care who he was she was here to have fun. Taking a deep breath after the song came to an end she pulled away sweating and breathless. He tried to talk to her, but she ignored him and made her way back to her table. When she got back, she pulled the first long sip of her drink before smiling to her cousin and partner in crime this evening.

"You were having fun," she said with a knowing smile.

Looking at her with appreciation she answered, "Yeah I was. It was incredible and long overdue."

Rolling her eyes," to think I had to drag you out of bed."

"Ok ok I get it thanks, you my dear are the best cousin ever," she said throwing her hands around her cousin's shoulders.

"And you my dear are sweaty and smelly," she responded trying to disengage herself from the hug.

"Oh no you don't," holding on tighter, "this is fun you are smelling take it in. Breath deep."

Laughing at the expression of horror on her cousin's face Sasha removed her hands.

"Why aren't you out there shaking your assets? You look great in that blue dress by the way."

Sasha asked her.

Flipping her hair dramatically, "Ooh stop it."

"Show off," she said fake punching her cousin on the shoulder.

Their bantering slowly died off as they resumed drinking in silence.

"How are you holding up?" her cousin finally asked her. The last four months had been rough what with her stepdad going to prison, children picking on her sister, a mob trying to burn down her mother's house until she had to take care of her kid sister. Cold shivers ran down her body just thinking about it.

Giving her a small smile that she hoped like hell her cousin bought, "Am fine, I'll always be fine."

As if seeing through her act she just nodded, "If you need anything, anything at all just call me."

She tried to hold back tears threatening to flow, "Thanks." She would not cry. She had cried enough for a lifetime.

Laughing through a sniffle that had escaped she raised her bottle in cheers, "To a better end of year."

Her cousin raised her bottle and was about to say something when she remained frozen. Her eyes were wide with shock as if she had seen a ghost.

Before she could turn back to look, she heard the voice she thought she would never hear ever again, "Hello princess."

It seemed like the year just kept serving her shit.

Serving her even the dead.

SNEAK PEEK

INTROSPECT
PROLOGUE

He did not hold back any punches or cut her any slack and that was why she loved him. He knew when the demons from the past came calling she just wanted to fight and she wanted it dirty and bloody. Many times they had carried each other to the emergency room after; both limping and holding their bruised ribs as they used the other for support.

Having him always there for support was the other reason she loved him. He was her rock and she was his. No matter what they had a pact. She was his ride or die bitch.

Now was one of those moment she felt as if an animal had taken over her and she just wanted to beat the hell out of something. To draw blood. As Ivan shifted front and back trying to find his stance she threw the first punch. She knew it was not fair but she did not care. She also knew for sure tomorrow her hands would be sore because she had no gloves on. Catching her off guard still thinking about her bruised hands he landed a punch on her jaw. The pain split through her bones and she felt it explode through her skull like fireworks. Pain was good at least she was feeling something now. Pain she understood. Pain she was familiar with.

Smiling in spite of the pain she said, "Nice touch."

With the smile of almost an animal stalking his prey, "You talking or you fighting."

She threw the next punch and he ducked and that was when it started. In her head she was not fighting Ivan the love of her life. In her head she was taking back control of her life. She was taking back control from her father. As he landed a kick on her ribs she something burst inside her and all she could see was her father standing over her mother as if in triumph after beating her to a plump. As the pain of jab after jab gushed through her it was as if her father was dragging her out of bed and landing punches after punches on her little defenseless body. But this time she was not defenseless or weak or just stupid. This time she knew how to fight and she was protecting herself. As she landed a few jabs and kicks of her own making sure to miss most of the once he was throwing, she felt good. She was in control and no one was taking that away from her. Never ever again.

He was tall, strong and had years of rugby training but she was fast, little and after years and years of self defense classes she could handle herself. They went at it for almost an hour bringing each other down in turns. He tried to throw a kick but she had left him the opening on purpose. So when he went for it she just launched on his shoulder and used it to propel herself onto his neck. Soon they were down and they just lay on the ground panting and hurting like hell but smiling. They just didn't have the energy to stand for another round. She knew Ivan also had his own demon to fight that was why they were so good together. They each had their own past to contend with.

"You ok down there," he asked she could hear the smile in his voice.

Groaning when she tried to get up and felt her ribs hurting like hell, "am fine just don't know if I'll be able to breathe tomorrow you got my ribs real good."

Laughing then groaning as if that laughing was painful he said, "You got my jaw real good. Tomorrow we are going to look like a bunch of banged up cars and after your last stunt I do not even think I can move my neck tomorrow."

Trying to laugh at him but it hurt like hell she answered, "We call the ambulance or you think we can drag each other to the hospital."

"I'll always choose to drag you to the hospital princess."

"You are the only guy I know who after taking a beating from a girl can call her princess."

"Yah because am the only guy who can love you," they both fell silence as they acknowledged the truth in that statement. Despite the pain he stretched his arm and she took his hand into hers and they intertwined their fingers together. "The only guy who loves you so much it actually hurts."

With that statement they closed their eyes and just lay there relishing the pain. Letting it spread through them because it was the only thing they knew. The only thing they trusted. The only thing that was familiar.

Since everything seemed ok it was almost two hours before they made it to the hospital.

Yet it was too late for him.

The last words before he flat lined had been, "I love you so much princess."

She had stood there as if in shock not wanting to believe that it was actually happening to her.

She had killed the love of her life.

She had killed him.

She had killed love.

SNEEK PEEK

TRUDGING THROUGH 24
CHAPTER ONE

SIMPLE FACTS

There was one article published that being twenty four is the hardest part of life. I am inclined to believe that article. After all the article was written by a scientist and science is never wrong.

The one thing I wish I was taught when I was younger was that no one will ever save you. You have to save yourself.

People will let you down and break your heart.

It is going to happen and when you are down there, they will give you advice that you do not want to listen too.

You are not the first to go through this.

He was not worth it.

Like that is going to help with the pain. I know he was not worth it why do you think am coiled up here bawling my eyes out like a baby on PCP? Dumbass.

So today right here right now I am here to tell you that it will get better. I know I know I am one of the dumbasses.

It has to get better or what is even the point in the pain anyway? What is the lesson I am supposed to learn from this? What is the point to life? What is my purpose?

When I was sixteen I knew what I wanted to be, exactly what I was going to be.

I was going to be a neurosurgeon like Ben Carson, ok maybe I do not know the correct spelling for neurosurgeon that does not mean I would not have made a damn good one. Probably I would have been the very best. The field of medicine lost a great doctor the day I did not pass my exam enough to join the medical school. There loss. Or so I keep telling myself.

The moment I turned eighteen years old all my problems started.

I just wish someone could take me back to that moment I stepped out of high school with all the knowledge I have now. Trust me the world has not been a soft teacher. It's like the aspect of teach her and let her learn at her own pace left when I was a child. Right now it's more like teach her and flog her until she learns the lesson.

Adulthood; I am rolling my eyes right now.

When I was a child I had such simple goals.

I wanted to be an adult so that I could get the drumstick part of the chicken. That part was reserved for the adults, us kids were served the wings and if people were many, legs. Another reason I wanted to be an adult was so that I could get to put as much sugar in tea as possible. My mum used to put sugar when she was cooking so no matter how little she put that was all you were getting. Touching the sugar dish resulted in flogging of a lifetime. I used to feel like I was being punished and given tasteless tea.

Right now I drink tea with no sugar and it is my choice. That says something about life ironies.

So we have come to the decision that I did not want so much as a kid, if you would have given me ten chicken drumsticks and a bag full of sugar I would be a very happy kid.

When I was in my teens all I wanted was to be a doctor and I also failed to achieve that so there is that. But now that I hear doctors are on strike for poor pay I am like maybe it was for the best.

What has the world come to when doctors and pilots are striking? Those were the jobs we were told as kids to work hard for. When you were found sketching out a drawing in the corner somewhere it was torn in pieces and a science book shoved in your hand. Like drawing is bad, reading science to be doctor good. Now to see all the doctors running and throwing stones at the government I am like you are supposed to be the smartest of us. What's up with that?

Okay I am rumbling back to the point.

What was I even talking about?

Ooh right, the terrors of being a twenty four year old girl or is it woman?

That's even confusing. Just like everything about the age itself.

Okay so I was saying that this was the age I thought I would be graduating with a degree in Engineering. Very fancy right? I thought so too.

When I did not get into medicine I thought hey why not go for the second best. Engineering. It did not matter that it had two of the things that scared me most in life. Wires and electricity.

I was never a curious kid; not in any aspect of life. When mum said do not watch the soap opera in the television when I am gone I watched cartoon until she came back. Okay maybe I peeked a little but I absolutely did not watch it.

Dad said do not touch my stuff when I am away I would just rearrange it so that I could wipe the table. But whatever I saw when I was cleaning does not count. Okay maybe I was nosy but I was never curious about how the television worked or even the principle behind how the iron box worked.

As long as it worked I was happy and my solution to all the not working stuff? Hit it till it works. With four years of education tucked under my belt in engineering school that is still my number one policy. Works like a charm.

Look at me rumbling again.

So we have established am not really a good student.

Twenty four was supposed to be my year of graduating and getting my first job and moving out on my own and being my own woman. Then life happened. And it always happens in order.

• First on the list, after high school there are boys. There is just that one boy who has also finished high school and he loves you so much he is going to build you a house. You will have 2.5 kids and live happily ever after. You are happy, he is happy. Clouds are flouting all over and everything is rainbows and unicorns and ice-cream. Nothing can ever beat ice-cream. I am here to tell you Bullshit. It's all bullshit.

He will get your virginity maybe even give you a kid if you are unlucky. Then he will skip out on you. Ooh some stick around, for a year or so then like smoke gone. I know its harsh honey but reality sucks just got to get used to it now.

Then from there your life goes downhill and it always goes down in three ways. People love having options so I am giving you some;

1) You love the guy he leaves you not now maybe, but soon. Look out it's always around the corner.

2) He gets you pregnant and leaves or uses the kid as an excuse to come back to your life after he left and be like that is my kid I have a right to be in his life. Then he messes up your life for six months then he leaves again. Okay why was this not option one?

3.) You realize the greatest thing in life is sex and you want to have it as often as you can with as many men as you can.

Ha-ha none of this happened to me, especially not number three. Wink wink.

Anyway from that its downhill you go and before you know it you are asking yourself who am I? What are my principles? When did my life get here?

• Second on the list are people and parents. They have expectations, they have advice and most important they know more than you do. They are great; especially our parents come on without them we will not be here.

Okay what was I talking about? The landlord came by with a bunch of forms for me to fill.

Landlords. Forms. Bureaucracy. Triple eye roll.

If I deviate from the topic again bear with me.

Okay parents. They are great people. They have feed you, clothed you and put a roof over your head for twenty four years. If you are still living at home raise your hands. I am. Points to them when you get home drunk in the morning and you pretend you are not drunk they believe you. Or pretend to believe you. Come on they were not born yesterday.

Parents are great all round.

But then in comes the expectations.

And more expectations.

Especially if you are a good kid and passed your exams. I am like why is life punishing me for being smart. I did everything right, I woke up at four took a cold shower and slept very late just so I could finish that assignment.

Okay this was before I realized that there are romantic novels, I did all that but this time just to finish that one more book. Ha-ha.

Novels are the greatest thing on earth. And coffee is great too. Novels plus coffee equals pure bliss.

Where was I again? This book is as confused as me.

Okay so I did everything right and achieved all I could in life at that time. I joined engineering school and people be looking at me like you are doing engineering that is so awesome you are so smart. Parents are looking at you like you are going to get a really good job. Cha-Ching. All our problems are over my daughter is smart.

I am like hello guy's school is kicking my butt all the way through Sunday. I do not even know if I will graduate in the first place. All the fails I see on the notice board when I go to look at my results can make a girl blind.

And people be like she is going to get a first class honor work at Safaricom be rich and live in some really big building. You are so great.

I should point it out to them that there are no jobs in Kenya; some people tarmac for five years before they are employed. Others end up counting cars for twelve hundred or twelve dollars a day. I did not totally do that recently. Sigh.

As a people pleaser all I want to do is do better be better, but I can't. Not that I do not want to. Maybe if I want to I can study more so that my grades would not have so many fails. Sigh.

Someone hide me in there country.

• Third thing on their list is money and odd jobs; they literally run away from you and you have got to be creative to make even a little. You are grown up now so no one gives you money anymore for small things. Ever.

You want that pretty pink perfume that is just 500 shillings? Isn't it just pretty? We all want it, deal with it, you are not getting it unless you raise your own money. And trust me when you work for that money you will not buy a perfume. Too painful. So it ends up being a full cycle. Life. Sigh.

You hear people have stolen millions even billions and you are like where have this people got all this money from? I also want to steal some please. I do not have money for dinner and I do not know the last time I had some water. Am so thirsty and some idiot goes ahead to steal millions and billions of taxpayer's money!

What really pisses me off is that you hear doctors have gone on strike. People are dying in hospitals and new born babies are dying as soon as they are born. They are innocent they did not do anything to deserve what they are going through and you find some idiot stole health care money and am like really fool. Really!

You steal money the doctors do not get paid a new born child dies. You killed that baby. You actually strangled them. You steal money; new equipment not delivered an old man fighting for life gets dead. You are a murderer.

You monster.

Then the people's choice seat there and be like we are looking into it. You are looking into crap.

You are crap.

The opposition be like; we told you so your government is crap.

I am like; we know you know. Do something about it don't just stand there and do nothing,

And opposition be like; they choose.

We know we are stupid, you know we are stupid. Help us before we decide to help our self.

Government. Eye roll.

Politics. Triple eye roll.

Just look at that adorable face you killed.

Please do not come for me at my door. I have security cameras. (Laughing like it's a conspiracy.)

I love the truth.

Okay where was I? Am so sorry I got sidetracked.

I was giving you advice on how to go through the most difficult age on earth.

Okay those are the three major points you need to navigate that if you manage this life would be better. Find a way I do not believe in much but I do believe in you. You are a champion. Okay am done for today see you tomorrow.

Sorry to some famous writer who said I had to get to ten pages a day I got tired and am hungry. Tullos. Is that even how that is spelled? Who cares? Food and movies await my return. I never learn. Sigh.

Okay I went to buy food and I followed some mad man home. Tell you all about it tomorrow. Goodnight.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Lynn Achieng lives in Nairobi Kenya and comes from a family with many teachers. Being a student of Electrical Engineering she is widely read and knows the struggles most people go through.

She started writing romance novels when she was just a little girl and now she spares all the time she can get to develop her writing. She is still new in the publishing world and would appreciate all the reviews on her book. Hopefully this will be the beginning of a beautiful relationship between her and you.

Email her with any concerns or ideas at writerlynn@gmail.com and she will take the time to reply and appreciate you all.

Thanks.

