Hmm, let me just check my youtube channel...
Hnng!
So, apparently you guys like the D&D video...
Cuz now there's like
25,000(40,000) of you here!
Uuuuuhh....
So....
Welcome to the weird wagon!
...drinks not included...
To be honest, I really don't know what to say.
Uh....
Thank you all for loving my stuff and I totally hear you guys.
I do want to make some more D&D videos,
Soo
Look out for that stuff in the future.
I'm still not very used to...recording.
So, if there's some inconsistencies...
just...
Forgive!
But for now, I'd like to tell you some few stories about my many many encounters
with death.
Uh, that sounds harsher than it needs to be.
Near-death experiences.
Oh God...
I've almost died a couple times, okay?!
Don't worry guys, I survive every time.
Now, I've never broken anything. I've never sprained anything
Heck, I've never even had a cavity before.
But for some reason, throughout my childhood
Deaths been around the corner.
Just waitin'.
And it's a miracle that I managed to avoid it every time.
Growing up, I was definitely one of those kids you consistently needed to keep an eye on.
I'd always managed to get myself into trouble.
How did you get those bruises?
Is that a cut?
What is that?
To be honest, I'm surprised I got this far.
Props to my parents for consistently helping me avoid death.
Okay, so the first time I remember kind of almost dying...
Was when I was three years old.
And I was on the swing set with my dad and we were just hanging out,
talking about whatever three-year-olds do.
Something about bugs, candies, and taxes or something.
And I'm sucking on one of those suckers that are just way too big for a three-year-old.
And the sucker actually manages to pop off of the stick.
So I have this piece of suckers in my mouth and my dad sees this and he goes
DAD: "Okay, Dingo. Don't say anything, cuz if you say anything you could choke."
I turned to my dad
I look I'm straight in the eye and I go...
DINGO: "Oka---"
In which at that moment, the candy lodges into my throat...
And I start choking.
DAD: "Son of a *Quack*."
I'm gasping for air, holding my throat, and slowly turning purple.
My dad freaks out!
His child is now choking to death,
So he grabs me under his arm, like a sack of potatoes, and b-lines it to the house.
We reach the house and we get to the hose,
Where he pulls out the hose and starts turning on the water,
Gives me the hose in the gesture of:
"DRINK THIS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!"
And you know what I do?
I refuse.
I refuse to drink the water.
Cuz throughout my entire childhood,
which is not very long----that's three years,
I've been told consistently...
"Do not drink from the hose!"
"Do not drink from the hose!"
"DO NOT DRINK FROM THE HOSE!"
And now I had to drink from the hose?
That didn't make sense in three-year-old Dingos' brain.
I would get in trouble!
Even though I'm going to die...
My dad doesn't even skip a beat, he just shoves that hose into my mouth,
I take a good gulp of that
Forbidden water...
And it dislodges the candy from my throat and I can breathe again.
Yay!
I lived.
Dingo one, Candy zero.
I'm pretty sure my dad needed a break from parenting after that...
Okay
So the second time I had a brief encounter with death was when I was five years old.
And I'm at school
And we had to go on one of those field trips where you do a hike.
I grew up in an area that had a lot of mountains, valleys, cliffs,
You know, anything that could come to a toddler's death.
And really thinking back on it,
I mean these teachers taking
20 or so
Five-year-olds up a mountain for a field trip?
I'm just thinking every time the teacher realizes they have to do this field trip
They have a just a tiny panic attack because it's five-year-olds.
This is literally herding cats.
So really to keep them from falling off cliffs, that's a job in its own.
Anyway, so we're going up this mountain and
Of course, we're doing what five-year-olds do which is
Bugs and rocks and stuff.
Taxes.
I'm not entirely sure, I can't remember most of the trip.
I just remember getting to the top, the teacher turning to us and going,
TEACHER: "Well, okay kids!"
TEACHER: "It's time to go back down the mountain and remember,"
TEACHER: "When you go down, don't run---"
She doesn't even finish her sentence, as I am already
Running down this mountain as fast as I possibly can.
Like I'm trying to beat somebody
That I have no idea who that is, but dang it I am going to win!
I'm hearing yelling behind me,
But I don't care and I'm just going,
And then I trip and I start to tumble down the mountain.
TEACHER: "Son of a *QUACK*."
I'm rolling down this mountain, picking up speed
And I am heading towards a cliff that goes straight down
Where there are very very sharp pointy rocks of death!
Rocks are going everywhere,
I'm rolling.
I'm still kind of having a great time, to be honest.
I was a pretty tough kid.
But the teacher behind me is not having a great time as they are now
Frantically trying to stop me from falling off this mountain.
The teacher manages to grab me by the back of my shirt,
Just when I'm about to reach the edge,
And pulls me up.
I'm pretty sure I turned to her, gave a big smile while I'm covered in....
Gravel and dirt and probably some blood and then I...
Just walk off, like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure the teacher needed to take a break from teaching after that.
Alright, alright!
So the third time I had a brief encounter with death,
Was also when I was five years old.
1999 was a busy year.
This also happened at school, but during the winter months.
The great thing about living in a place with mountains, valleys, etc
Is the amazing sledding hills and the school I was at had just that!
It was fun!
It was fast!
It was steep!
You could definitely break some bones if you weren't careful, but we didn't care!
I kind of missed those days of not worrying about breaking all my bones all the time...
Anyway
During recess we were sledding, having a great time
I just finished a majestic slide down.
As majestic as a five-year-old can be.
Then I hear a,
"Hey, watch out!"
As I am bulldozed down by seven thirteen-year-olds',
That all decided to slide down at the same time, in one heaping mass.
It was like I was tackled by a football team!
And they are now dog piled on top of me.
My lungs were being crushed, I was desperately gasping for air.
I couldn't move.
It was dark.
I was freaking out.
This was the first time I really thought I was going to die.
And actually word for word the thought that went through my head was,
DINGO: "So, this is how I die?"
DINGO: "I'm okay with this."
I kid you not, I was a-okay to die on this sledding hill.
I had a good run!
Five years old is what I was kind of aiming for anyway.
I could die in peace.
But to my surprise, this was not going to be my death.
As one of the 13 year olds noticed I was being crushed by the pile of kids and pulled me up.
I gasped for air,
Returning to the surface, and I was reborn!
I would, from this point on, never take life for granted.
Be smarter and more cautious about the world around me.
No, I'm just kidding.
I did that cliff incident like two months later.
And that was the first cliff incident.
Like I said, it was a miracle that I made it this far.
Oh hi, um
I'm recording this a lot later after the initial recording.
I really just wanted to say, thank you guys for your really good constructive criticism.
Stuff about needing to talk faster and more enthusiastic
Is definitely something I need to work on.
I know as time goes by I'll just get better and more comfortable in front of the mic.
Believe me, these first videos are gonna be rough.
But I'm excited to show you guys my progress.
I really just wanted to chime in and say thanks!
It really did actually help me.
Also, also these videos still don't have a schedule.
I'm really doing this for fun sake and to grow as an artist.
I might be uploading some speed paints cuz I've always secretly wanted to cuz why not anyway....
Bye!
