-Now I stand. Now I stand.
-There you go.
-Where were you?
-Now I stand.
The Spade. The Spade.
The Spade!
-Get this out of here!
-Oh, shit.
This show takes 20 minutes
to film.
-Have fun. It goes fast.
-SPADE: No, I know. We...
We're almost over, but, uh...
Glad you're all here.
HOLMES:
How much is that watch worth?
Uh... I don't know.
A quill.
(laughter)
-A quillion?
-Yeah.
It's on layaway. I don't know.
-Uh...
-HOLMES: Nice watch.
Let's get to the unfun stuff.
In social media news...
-This is... Listen up, Hannah.
This is for you. -HART: Mm.
Uh, Khloe Kardashian
thanked her fans for helping her
hit a hundred million followers
on Instagram,
but she followed it up
by posting a caption that read,
"Unpopular opinion:
I think social media
"has absolutely destroyed
our generation's ability
to be happy."
What the (bleep)
is she talking about?
(laughter)
-Jim?
-Well, it-it's one thing
to have
a hundred million followers
and feel good about that,
but when all your sisters
have, like, 150 million
and 140 million,
-no wonder she's so depressed.
-SPADE: Oh, that's true.
She's like...
Like-like, still a good career.
Like, Tito Jackson
still had a good career.
But...
(cheering and applause)
But it was more like
he was envious
of members of his family.
I imagine the documentary
about Tito isn't as salacious.
Like, Leaving 36 Jones Street,
Encino.
Yeah.
But this is--
She gets all these followers
and then the first thing
she does is saying,
"This makes us--" This is
like Ronald McDonald tweeting,
"I don't know
about all these trans fats."
-Tran. -Like, don't bite
the hand that tweets you.
I'm really glad
you put the word "fats"
-on the end of that sentence.
-Yeah.
I don't endorse that add-on.
Yeah.
Are you okay?
I am reeling.
Uh, uh, I don't know.
I might be
the only millennial present.
But I will ask, do you guys
have your phones on you?
-I do. -No, I left it
in the dressing room.
-I respect David and the show.
-Oh, this guy does. Do you?
-(laughs)
-(applause)
-So, like... -You said out
of respect for the show? -Yeah.
I-I don't have it on me.
Wait, is that how you spot
a millennial?
No, that's how you spot somebody
who usually has
-a lot of commentary
about millennials. -Oh.
-Oh, really? -They've got their
phones on them all the time.
Oh, d-- millennials
don't carry their phones
-on 'em all the time?
-No, man.
We're-we're trying
to escape this toxic web.
-Oh, shit. -Right.
-You just--
-You do it on your watches. Is
that what you do? -Yeah, yeah.
Listen, I...
I got to two million followers
yesterday,
-and I didn't make a huge fuss
about it. -(sputters)
I... I had a quiet dinner.
I had some friends over.
Some relatives flew in.
Hey, congratulations.
-Yeah, we didn't make a big deal
out of it. -Yeah.
By the way, in other,
uh, Kardashian news--
where would we be without it?--
uh, Kim thinks that,
uh, taking away IG likes
would probably be beneficial
for the mental health of people.
Really? Right at the finish
line, when she's winning.
It's like Jerry Rice going,
"Get rid of all the stats.
I'm number one.
Let's not count anymore."
I mean, I have to say
that I'm really loving this take
-on the Canadian tuxedo that's
happening over here. -I know.
It's all...
-It's a little denim-heavy.
-I mean...
-It's like a Canadian vampire
tuxedo. -Tuxedo.
-Yeah.
-Something kind of... serious.
I really like it.
Oh, my God,
but how do I tell her?
-Here you go.
-Oh. You can't.
You're not allowed to like it.
Don't poke the bear.
They-they actually--
they actually tried this.
They trialed it in Australia.
They took away all the likes.
But what happens is
people can't see your likes
but you can still see
your likes.
-Really? -Yeah,
that's how it works. -Oh, oh.
-I didn't know that.
-So all it does
is teach people to lie.
-Like...
-Oh, yeah.
"Oh, I got 5,000 likes
on that last picture."
And they're like, "But you
only have 800 followers."
"(bleep)!"
They weren't ready
for the follow-up question.
