You know, you might
not know this.
But we actually
rehearse this show.
[SNICKERS] Sometimes
it seems like we don't.
But we do.
I come out, and,
you know, I try out
what I'm going to talk about.
And the director tells
me where to stand,
and the writers
tell me what to say.
And then I come out
and do whatever I want,
because they're
not the boss of me.
So we test things out,
and Twitch comes out,
and he dances.
And so yesterday,
Twitch did a dance
that I hadn't seen before.
And I asked him what it was.
[R&B MUSIC PLAYING]
We can get rowdy
before the night is up.
We can get-- we can get--
Actually, that wasn't rehearsal.
That was just a really
slow day for us.
There was-- nobody showed up.
Um, so anyway, I asked
what that dance was,
and he said it's called
the Orange Justice.
Do you know the dance--
yeah.
All right.
So it's from a video
game called Fortnite,
and I know all those
words, but I had no idea
what I was talking about.
Uh, when he was talking about--
I assumed that Fortnite
was a game about dancing,
and Twitch said, no.
It's a game about killing.
You kill people,
and then you dance.
And it's like the motto that
I have here at the show--
laugh, kill, dance.
That's what I--
[CHUCKLES] those
are our T-shirts.
Laugh, kill, dance.
Um, I'm not really
into video games,
but I found out that Fortnite
makes hundreds of millions
of dollars a month,
and the people
can make millions
of dollars a year
just from playing Fortnite.
So this morning, I went out
and I bought myself an Xbox,
and I'm going to be rich.
Yeah.
For sure.
But I need to learn how to play.
So that's why I invited one
of the most popular players
to come here and teach me.
Please welcome Ninja.
[MUSIC - THE WHO, "MY
 GENERATION"]
Talkin' 'bout my generation.
This is my generation, baby.
Hi.
I got it.
Yeah.
Ninja!
So probably a lot of people who
know who he is have children,
or you're playing yourself.
But--
Absolutely.
So your name is Ninja.
Yes.
And I should have a name, too.
So I'm thinking, like, either
Magic Bullet or Cuisinart or--
Ellie-D.
Yeah.
Ellie-D?
Yeah.
I like it!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just came up with that.
Yeah, Ellie-D!
Like the lighting
LED, but Ellie-D.
But-- ah, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Capital D.
All right.
That's better, because I was
just thinking of blender names.
So-- all right.
So--
It's a good blender.
Yeah, the Cuisinart
is a good one.
And the Magic--
Oh, I was gonna say--
Ninja is also a blender.
Yes, it is, as a
matter of fact, which
is why I was thinking of
mine to be a blender, also,
but you've separated
me from yourself.
Yeah.
All right, so Ellie-D wants
to know some things about you.
Absolutely.
Um, how many hours a day
do you play this game?
Uh, about 10 to 12 hours a day.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
In a single sitting?
No.
No.
It's six hours, usually--
100% in the morning, and then I
take a four-hour with my wife,
and then four hours after.
And then what do you
do with your wife
when you take a break, and what
is she doing the whole time?
Um, so she's managing me.
She's always on phone
calls-- business calls--
just constantly on this app
called Slack-- whatever,
which is like--
(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
Y'know.
Um, anyways, that's
pretty much-- yeah,
just taking care of business
while I'm taking care of--
She manages you.
Yes.
OK.
How did you meet?
Uh, a long time ago, like,
I think, seven years.
It was a Halo tournament,
a local one in Wisconsin.
My best friend pulled me.
He said, we gotta go to this.
And then at the last minute, he
showed up in front of my house,
and we drove there.
And we ended up meeting there.
We stayed connected on
Facebook for, like, four years,
and then we started dating.
Ah.
And now you're married.
Yes.
Yes.
Ah, that's beautiful.
Beautiful story.
Aww.
Um, all right.
So earlier today-- the reason
we brought him here-- not just
to talk to him.
I wanted him to teach me how to
play Fortnite because I'd never
played it before.
I've only played Guitar Hero.
She was good.
Yeah, oh I was fantas--
Oh, you-- she
caught on way faster
than I thought she was going to.
You did.
Are you being sarcastic?
No, I'm actually being--
no, like, you were picking
up-- like, I saw the evolution
from when you started to
when-- yeah, at the end,
it was-- just yeah.
It didn't-- no.
No.
Great improvement.
All right.
I think when you
watch this back,
you're going to
see you're wrong.
All right.
Here's what happened.
So we're going to hit--
Y. Every-- you--
I'm the girl with the
breasts and a hat.
Yes.
Yes.
And why do I have
that around my--
is that just a fashion look,
the thing around my thigh?
Yeah, I think it's
just a fashion look.
Mm-kay.
So I'm ready.
All right, and now we're
queued up to go into the game.
OK.
So we're on the
party bus right now.
OK.
And it flies across,
basically, the Fortnite map.
And then we're gonna
press A to jump.
I'm not goinna jump.
I'm way up high.
A to jump.
Yeah, let's just
press it right now.
OK.
And then just, like,
look straight down--
All right.
--with your little
right analog stick.
Actually, you have to hold
forward, too, like this.
(SARCASTICALLY) Ah, I got it.
I'm completely fine.
So--
How do you have a
parachute, and I don't?
Because you haven't--
Deploy.
If you want to deploy--
yeah, you can hit A.
So you'll be on the
ground eventually.
No, I'm way, way up still.
You'll get there.
Um, now I'm spinning.
Uh-oh.
Whoa!
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS] All right.
I'm still going down.
I haven't--
Eventually, you will land.
All right.
Now, you've reached
a point where--
Um, how much money
have I made so far?
About $5,000.
From, like, a streamer and a
YouTuber, it's kind of, like,
ad revenue and how many, y'know,
concurrent viewers you have
and people that--
Well, I have a lot of viewers.
I have people--
So you probably have--
I have, like, 77 million
Twitter followers.
Look at my ass.
I'm watching my
ass run right now.
It's actually-- yeah,
it's a little, uh,
revealing sometimes, this game.
Look at my ass.
Yeah.
I know.
You can imagine.
My badonkadonk is-- um,
have I done anything yet?
Ah, you know, you
really haven't.
But it's OK.
You can play the game
however you want.
I'm just kind of watching you.
See, on my screen, I can
see how you look and it's--
And are you trying
to kill me right now?
That's me.
No, we're teammates.
We're best friends.
Oh, we are?
Yes.
Oh.
That's great.
I-- uh-oh.
See, so I can--
I can--
Oh, I don't want to hurt you.
Oh, you won't.
Why am I whacking you?
(LAUGHING) I think you just
keep pressing the button.
I'm just gonna--
OK.
Oh, look, I got through.
Yeah.
So you can, like, build
and stuff like that.
You kind of just
knock down the wall.
Oh.
You're shooting people.
I am.
I'm trying to.
And why do you want to shoot--
why do you want to kill them?
Have they done something to us?
Yeah, they have.
What have they done?
Uh, they've tried to kill us.
I have not seen
them try to kill us.
Well, it's because you're--
[INAUDIBLE]
You haven't even
talked to them yet.
You didn't try--
We could have a little
discussion, but you know--
Yeah, you didn't
reason with them.
You didn't say, come on out.
Let's try to make up.
OK, I'll try to that right now.
[DUBSTEP MUSIC PLAYING]
This is an infinite dab,
where you just dab infinitely.
And they might join in.
I'm not sure.
Now wait a minute.
So who came up with the
idea that we're going
to kill people and then dance?
Um, I think it just
kind of started.
It just started like that.
Yeah.
There, now.
What's happening?
Are they gonna try to kill you?
Yeah.
See?
That's why.
Oh!
Ow!
See?
I just tried to dance in
front of them, and now look.
How dare you!
And now here we are.
Can I help you in some way?
Yeah, you can-- you just--
How do I get to you?
Boom.
OK.
Here I go.
I'm running.
(LAUGHING) I don't
even know know
how you're walking like that!
I don't know, either.
I think it's just
kind of a little--
OK, there-- now I'm running.
There you go.
There you go.
OK, you were actually
heading right towards where
they just [INAUDIBLE].
Oh, good.
I am going to get them,
because how dare they?
Yeah.
You know?
Did you see, like, the
line on the top right, how
it's kind of, like, going--
Look how angry I am.
She gets very angry.
Ugh.
Oh, I'm so mad.
[LAUGHS]
(THROUGH TEETH) God damn it!
What?
Am I gonna be able to
get through this wall?
I don't-- no, that's
indestructible.
Oh, well, then why are
you letting me do it?
I can't-- I can't--
Help me.
I'm trying-- I'm
trying so hard, Ellen.
All right.
Boom.
See how you're getting
wood right now?
What?
It's like half the game.
OK.
But you do have 54 wood.
So--
What does that mean, 54 wood?
So you can place--
So I have made money.
You have made wood.
I don't want wood.
I want money.
Wait!
Look.
I'm getting into a cabana.
That's a gun.
You're gonna get your first gun.
Boom.
Here.
Boom, you got it.
Push the top bottom.
Boom.
Now hit the right trigger.
You don't have to hold it!
You don't have to hold it!
You're almost out of ammo.
Oh.
I'm going to run out of ammo?
You only have two shots left.
There's more ammo to your
right, so you can just--
I'll-- oh.
Dez Bryant killed you!
Who did?
Dez Bryant, the football player!
Does Dez Bryant know
he was playing with me?
I don't think he does.
Let him know!
We should tell him.
Yeah.
Thank you very much
for being here.
Thank you.
Yes, thank for having me here.
You flew in just to
play Fortnite with me,
and I've learned nothing.
Absolutely.
Thank you so much.
You're awesome.
Thank you so much.
[INAUDIBLE]
Yeah.
