- I'm a cult leader.
It's called the First
Church of David Bowie.
- No way!
Really?
How many members do you have?
- I don't know, just like
four or five at this point.
- Oh.
(playful music)
- My name's Carlos Dillard.
- I'm Rain.
- My name is Ellen Naquario.
Oh my God.
Like, not much.
I'm like a drug virgin.
- I'm done Molly, Ecstasy.
Yeah, I smoke the fuck out of weed.
I smoked before I came here.
- Shrooms, LSD.
I can't remember what it's called,
but they told me it was like
a horse tranquilizer or something.
(laughs)
- My mother was a drug dealer
in my house when I was a kid,
which ended me into foster care.
So I grew up around drug
dealers and drug addicts,
pretty much the majority of my childhood.
(laughing)
- Hoo, ha.
(laughs)
Okay.
- All right, come on down.
- I'm Henry.
- Henry?
Carlos, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Carlos.
(laughs)
Damn.
What does your drug do for you?
- Pleasure.
Do you like having fun when you have sex?
(laughs)
(snorts)
My drug I like to use...
- Okay.
- Has a lot to with sex.
- Oh!
- I'm kind of wondering
if you've used what I use.
- Oh.
- But I'm stereotyping you.
- Because I'm black or gay, which one?
- Gay.
- You're all about that Viagra.
- Ecstasy!
- Oh!
Poppers.
- Right.
- What the hell is this?
- Poppers.
- Poppers!
- It's always in liquid form?
- Mm-hmm.
- And you just go, doo doo.
- No, you don't drink it.
- Oh.
- No, no. You inhale it.
- What happens to you if you do?
- You can die.
- That's why it says keep
out of reach of children!
(laughs)
How does that affect you?
- It makes you easier to have sex...
Well, anal sex.
- Like, what, like--
- It relaxes things.
- Okay.
- It relaxes your muscles.
- I love poppers.
I don't know why they are illegal.
- They're not.
- Oh, they're not?
- Mm-mm, no.
- But why do you have to
go to the shadiest places
to buy them?
Like, one of those glory hole places
and it's kind of like really gross.
- Buy your poppers, stick
your dick in a hole.
(laughs)
- Hi.
- Hi, what's your name?
- Mimi.
- Mimi.
You have Xs on your face.
That's hella creative.
Like, bitch, come on.
- I wouldn't be surprised
if you like huff spray paint
or some crazy ass shit.
(laughs)
But yeah, you're good.
You're fun to look at.
- What would you say are your
hobbies during the weekend?
- I go to drag shows.
I go to parties.
- So you're a partier.
It sounds like--
- Oh, absolutely.
- You're very active.
- I love, yeah.
- Okay.
- The nightlife is for me.
- The nightlife, you want to feel good.
I would say the main two
would be cocaine and Ecstasy.
- I would think DMT.
- Why is that?
- DMT is literally used to
open your brain, be creative.
- My favorite drug is acid.
- Why?
- It's a way of getting
out of my head a little bit
and thinking about my
surroundings and life differently.
- Okay, I can see that.
- 'Cause when you're on acid, it's like--
- Yeah, tell me about what it's like...
I've never done acid before.
- Well, I only do it every few months.
I'm not like a weekly acid user.
One time I threw up at the zoo on acid.
(laughs)
- That was good?
- Yeah.
- Uh...
You're like a normal person.
(laughs)
- So when did you first do drugs?
- Man, I was in seventh grade.
- Seventh grade.
I'm gonna lock my kids up.
Seventh grade.
They'll probably just
end up doing more drugs.
- Probably.
- Yeah, okay, never mind.
- That's kinda what happened to me.
I just had a rough childhood
and grew really bored.
- Meth?
- I like your boots.
He has Doc Martens on
which are very expensive.
He probably likes a higher class of drug.
(laughs)
Because--
- I guess, thanks.
- You know, yeah, he's like
real put together, maybe.
- You seem super chill,
so I'd say your worst would be cocaine.
- He does coke.
- Tony, tell me what your drug...
- Um, so I used to be
addicted to painkillers,
prescription painkillers.
- Oh!
- Why don't you do it anymore?
- It just ruined my career as--
- What was your career?
- I was in the Army for six years.
- See, that'd do it.
- Are opiates addicting?
- Yeah.
- Like, chemically addicting?
- Yeah.
- Okay, I see. Shit.
- I mean, even just talking
about it makes my mouth water.
- Damn.
Okay.
What drug do you do?
Let me guess.
Like looks will tell me anything.
- Common or not common?
- Extremely common.
- Is it social or is it
like a personal thing?
- It's social in like getting
it, but once you get it--
- Then you go home--
- You like go home and lock the door.
- Huh.
- What's the worst reaction
that you've ever gotten from it?
- They cut it with something really weird
and my whole arm got these
welts and red spots all over it.
- I'm gonna say heroin.
- Are you addicted?
- I was.
- Oh, you were.
Alcohol.
- I was a heroin addict.
- Whoa!
- Yeah.
- Oh, man.
- Was there a spoon involved?
- Oh, yeah.
That's how you cook the dope
so you can shoot it into your arm.
My dad found me unresponsive
in my room a couple times
and he revived me and...
- Oh, my gosh.
- After that, I told him
that I couldn't live anymore.
And I decided to go to
treatment one more time,
I had been about 13 times.
- Oh, my god.
Come here.
(laughs)
Wow.
- And I got clean and then a
year later, I loved my life.
(sighs)
- Wow.
- I'm so happy that you're past that.
- Yeah, me too.
(moans)
(laughs)
I feel like you need a hug more than I do.
- I know, I need a hug!
- Okay.
(laughs)
- I'm so glad you're okay!
- What's your frequency of usage?
- Once a week.
- You're just go on a party once a week.
Just whoo, let it out, and then let it go.
- It's not a party.
- What would you call it?
- A ceremony.
I'm a cult leader.
It's called the First
Church of David Bowie.
- No way!
Really?
How many members do you have?
- I don't know, just like
four or five at this point.
- Oh.
- When you do drugs, what are you chasing?
What kind of feeling are you looking for?
- It's a religious experience.
- Oh!
He might be like a kombucha tea guy.
(laughs)
I'm sure it's not kombucha but like--
- Are you thinking of Ayahuasca?
- Yes, that.
(laughs)
- DMT.
- Mushrooms.
- Is it LSD?
I think that's what it is.
- It is not LSD.
- I need to do more drugs.
- I can tell her?
- Yeah!
- I use psilocybin
mushrooms, magic mushrooms.
- Oh!
- I got it right!
- Can you describe what it feels like?
- It's kind of like stepping
into an open volcano
and just getting blasted up.
Like your whole body could be shaking.
- Okay, I'm vibing with that.
- And I get these visions
of black iron fortresses,
sheets of flame, devils
dancing and everything
because I am channeling
that energy and that spirit.
- And you're feeling it.
- You don't ever get sober
and go, that was weird.
It was intense.
- No, I've basically spent
the last year wondering
if I was having a psychotic breakdown,
but I've determined that
I probably am not, so...
- Hello.
- Hello, Kate.
- Kate.
- Yes.
How's it going?
- It's going, Kate.
Shit.
(giggles)
- Okay, let's get this rolling.
- When's the last time you did it?
- Um, this morning.
- And what's your frequency at this point?
- All day.
- She looks hella normal.
I think it's gonna be an internal drug.
- Internal how?
- Like a pill.
- Oh.
- Do you do Xanax?
Are you the Xanax one?
I had a lot of friends in
high school who did Xanax.
It was like this.
- What do you like to do on the weekends?
- Party and I work a lot.
- Is it a problem for you?
- I think anything can be a problem.
- Oh...
Alcohol.
- Coke.
- Cocaine.
Did I get it right?
- I do do cocaine.
- Okay.
- But I'm actually here for weed.
- Oh, shit, no way.
(laughs)
What are all the drugs that you've done?
- Oh, my god.
- Would you say?
You know, list 'em off.
- Um, weed, coke, accidentally
did meth, that was awful.
- Accidentally did meth?
- Accidentally.
Crack.
- So something was spiked, shit.
- Mescalin, ayahuasca, ketamine, DMT.
But mostly cocaine, mushrooms, and weed.
- So you don't think it's a problem?
- I think that sometimes the way
that I do drugs is a problem.
I don't think that I have a problem.
- How do you do the drugs?
- I do everything excessively.
- Why?
- To deal with a lot of
scars and emotional trauma
that I can't really seem to get through.
After listening to
everybody's stories today,
it's like been really, really beneficial
to kind of see how drugs are used,
how they're perceived, and...
- I can really feel your emotion.
- Yeah, I'm emotional today.
- I know, shit.
(laughs)
I could feel it.
- So do you just wish you
did a little bit less?
That's it?
- Yeah, maybe.
I wish I had more control.
- Huh.
You look like you're
someone in control, but...
- Look good, feel good, you know?
- I know, but doesn't that wear you down?
- Absolutely.
- Then what are you left with?
(inhales)
(exhales)
- Um...
Damn it.
(laughs) You got me.
(whispers)
Ah.
(inhales deeply)
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
You did this!
This is your fault.
(laughs)
- Well, if you ever want to
happily smoke weed with me,
I would love to.
Actually, that sounds like
a really nice fucking day.
(laughs)
It was so nice meeting you.
- You, too.
- Can I have a hug?
- Of course.
- Thank you so much for
sharing that with me.
- Of course.
- I'm much like her.
I think, I just do a lot of weed
and I use drugs to kinda
regulate my emotions.
Sometimes it's toward the negative
and you can use it towards the positive.
- Um...
No.
Drugs seem to be more of
an escape for everybody.
That seems to be the
common thing that I see.
- There's some stereotypes with drugs.
Like with heroin, you just
imagine losers in a way
when that's not really the case.
Anybody can be addicted
to any of these drugs.
- I'm gonna go smoke a
blunt and call it a day.
(laughs)
(applause)
- (laughs) Oh, my god.
I'm supposed to go on a road
trip with the fucking kids.
(laughs)
Oh, my god.
