 
# The Way of the Fairy Godmother

## Written by Jennifer Morse, M.S., PhD

# CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

THE NINE KEYS TO HAPPINESS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ALSO BY JENNIFER MORSE

# INTRODUCTION

I am a therapist and seeker of serenity. I search for the pathways of enduring happiness. Decades of exploring and synthesizing avenues to wisdom have led me to my favorite fairytale, the tale of Cinderella. This time I didn't interpret the fairytale from Cinderella's viewpoint. Instead I apprenticed to the Fairy Godmother.

The Fairy Godmother is incontrovertibly positive. She lives within uncompromising, radiant happiness. Her lifestyle is dangerously optimistic. As a result she expedites miraculous outcomes. It's not that she doesn't notice the problems of life. Cinderella didn't have a dress for the ball. She needed a coach and driver. When you are grounded in reality you deal with the problems.

I don't want to tell you how old I was before I began creating my life from the perspective of the Fairy Godmother. Let's just leave it at, for much of my life I was in the habit of creating life from Cinderella's point of view. More often than not I was disappointed. Like Cinderella I worked and worked to create harmony in environments that would not support harmony. Such an unstinting effort is exhausting, especially after several decades. To say it was stressful and no fun only scratches the surface of the issue. It was a harsh and bleak way to live.

Imagine Cinderella in her thirties and forties scrubbing away at the kitchen floor, struggling to make beauty in an environment, for people who cannot appreciate elegance. This is not a pretty picture. Living life from Cinderella's perspective is to stay entrapped in the young maiden who longs for fulfillment. Hardship is her constant companion. Unfulfilled relationships are her unremitting burden.

My quest? Mature beyond the Cinderella archetype. Find enduring happiness. Imitating Cinderella had generated disasters. It's tough to admit. I'm trained in the skills of good communication, the secrets of happy relationships. Even the people who love me the most shook their heads in dismay. I set about studying the ways of the Fairy Godmother.

The Way of the Fairy Godmother will discover the skills of savoring. What is already working in our lives? I've heard one voice of wisdom assert if we can breathe we can improve our circumstances. He meant "breathe" in the literal, not metaphoric, sense. That's intense! Do you know the power of a cleansing breath?

When the Fairy Godmother arrived in Cinderella's vegetable garden, almost hidden by the stalks of corn, she didn't talk with Cinderella about her problems. The Fairy Godmother's first conversation with Cinderella explored her dreams. Cinderella's dream was a first date with the Prince. Why do we find and define our Deepest Desires? Our Deepest Desires hold the seeds of our happiness.

Entwining Deepest Desires with our strengths leads us to a state of absorption and flow. Like the athlete that finds 'the zone' we are lost in the pleasure of growing mastery. One of Cinderella's strengths was her need to create beauty. She didn't just clean her house. She made her home shine with the love she put into her task. Loving was another strength.

The Fairy Godmother models a positive language specific to goals and ambitions. Our brains translate our words and thoughts into images. How does our biochemistry interact with images? We'll become aware of our biochemistry and the impact of visual images to prepare us for success and happiness.

A Proclamation will revolutionize our life. Clear goals initiate self-esteem. Focal points of beauty support us on our journey. Golden Ladders each rung associated with behaviors congruent with our Deepest Desires will delineate the territory of our personal happiness. With step by step procedures we'll enter the world of the Fairy Godmother. She will guide us. Our goal? Enduring happiness. If we are stuck in the Cinderella rut, there is a better way. Let's explore the ways of the Fairy Godmother.

# CHAPTER ONE

Are you happy? I'm not talking about superficial happiness. Wait. Superficial happiness is important. Seek it out. If you find happiness in the clothes you wear, the home you live in, a luxury car; if it's affordable, enjoy! The only cautionary note; superficial happiness is a cardboard imitation of life. It cannot substitute the satisfaction we get engaging our talents and personal strengths. It cannot take the place of the contributions we make to one another's lives. Superficial happiness, hand in hand, with a life of meaning and purpose. Perfect. Superficial happiness alone creates a one dimensional life. Beautiful clothes, cars, homes and expensive toys are great. They can be wonderful reflections of our happiness. But they don't have all the dimensions needed to create enduring happiness.

The way of the Fairy Godmother is a path to happiness, grounded in our strengths as well as superficial enjoyments. It's bthe kind of happiness rooted in purpose and meaning improving our life and the lives of others. Authentic happiness is good for you and good for the people who are in your life. Recent research in the field of positive psychology tells us happiness actually creates success. But more than the pleasure of engaging our strengths and growing well-being, genuine happiness is a buffer to stress and illnesses. Genuine happiness can be larger and more powerful than our problems.

One paradigm of happiness, tailored in the ethereal costume and ordinary efforts, is personified by the Fairy Godmother. Wearing a dress made from the silk of Fairy Dust spun together into living, oscillating threads of light her face is filled with an ineffable beauty. She is unshakable in her optimism. The light and color of a million rainbows fragment, permeate, and surround her. When I am with her I am exquisitely alive yet relaxed and alert.

Everyone has their favorite fairytale. Few of us notice our lives follow fairytale motifs. Fairytales are implanted with seeds of wisdom each reader can utilize in real life. We have forgotten fairytales are written for the purpose of imparting wisdom. They are a map for living a life of meaning and wonder.

In the story of Cinderella a pivotal moment occurs when the Fairy Godmother appears out of nowhere and startles Cinderella out of her misery. We don't know how many years Cinderella suffered before the Fairy Godmother turned up. But when the Fairy Godmother does show up Cinderella recognizes this will be an extraordinary conversation. First the Fairy Godmother asks Cinderella to describe her dreams. Positive Possibilities for our future live in our dreams. Now the Fairy Godmother knows how to focus Cinderella's attention. Together they personalize a strategy. They make a plan transforming some elements already present in Cinderella's environment to help her get to the ball and meet the Prince. The plan encourages Cinderella to interact in life with dignity and purpose, a version of her best possible self. Repurposing, resourcing what is already available in the environment, this revitalization is the foundation of Cinderella's success.

Their plan includes the superficial aspects of happiness. (Despite what a few researchers say utility and materialism are essential aspects of a happy life.) Cinderella doesn't go to the ball wearing rags. The Fairy Godmother has one of those amazing sewing machines and a wicked sense of color and design. She has closets full of ball gowns. Cinderella's gown is elegant and chic with an edge of sassy. Wait! Maybe that's my gown for the ball!

The Fairy Godmother's motivation is to support Cinderella in her journey toward personal happiness. She is committed to helping Cinderella manifest her best possible self. She doesn't give Cinderella the ten best pick up lines. She provides Cinderella with a dress that reflects her inner beauty. It is the combination of Cinderella's inner beauty supported by an outer garment, suited to Cinderella's style and demeanor. Cinderella is shy. Her nature is sweet even simple. Her dress reflects these qualities. Do you begin to see how inner and outer work together?

Who has not seen someone dressed at odds? The story of Cinderella in modern times was re-created in the movie Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts. Dressed as a prostitute she was garish and inappropriate. We see her inner transformation reflected in her new elegant clothes.

But what are the components of happiness? Positive psychology tells us happiness is the synergistic combination of positive emotions, personal strengths in service to a purpose greater than ourselves. Could we say happiness is a marriage of the superficial with our deeper purpose? In the world of the Fairy Godmother authentic happiness is achieved when we utilize our personal strengths engaged in the pursuit of our Deepest Desires. Our desires are filled with purpose and meaning, for ourselves and those around us. WHEW!

This is why Old Wise Ones encourage us to live our dreams. The actions required to manifest our dreams into tangible reality can crush us. But if we are engaged in the pursuit of authentic happiness we are buffered from the erosive effects of stress. That's right, in the realm of the Fairy Godmother we do not have to realize our final goal of happiness to be under the umbrella of its protection. Ultimately the pursuit of authentic happiness grounds us in the essential self and is larger than our problems. It still sounds like a fairytale until we realize all the work involved. Fairytales are filled with insurmountable tasks and enormous burdens. And so is real life.

Sometimes we feel the time to realize our dream has passed us by. Is it true? Do you know beyond any doubt the time to realize Deepest Desires is over? Is there a time when our dreams are no longer relevant? Before we throw away our dreams let's apply the skills of good living to a dream. Ask yourself, does my dream need updating? Does my dream take a different form now then twenty years earlier? Do I have competing dreams? Are there different periods of life to accomplish these goals? Motherhood has time prescribed within the years of our fertility. But unrealized dreams can take on new life. Let me give an example from my own past.

How can dreams from our past unexpectedly fulfill us? I longed to be a dancer in my twenties. I changed my major from Sociology to a double major, Dance and Sociology. Eventually I recognized I did not have the skills to realize my dreams. I had started dancing too late. My body could not keep up with the muscle memory of women who started dancing when they were six. I struggled and strived and grieved the loss of my dream. I was never going to be the dancer I longed to become. I turned my attention to another dream, graduate school in counseling.

A woman, very much like a Fairy Godmother to me, told me once, "Our lost dreams come back to us eventually. They return to us fulfilled and better than before." It sounded good but I didn't believe it was possible for me.

Yet in my forties I went to a yoga class with my girlfriend who was going through a divorce. She begged me to go with her for moral support and I was so grateful I wasn't going through a divorce I agreed. In a few weeks my friend was no where near a yoga mat. I was taking classes several times a week. It seemed my meditations, prayers, ceremonies from recent years, in conjunction with my failed dance dreams, came together in an unexpected way. I lost myself in the flow of stillness and movement. It was the beginning for me of daily yoga spanning the next twelve years. Dreams, seemingly failed, from our past can be reborn.

On the surface the interaction between Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother looked magical and mystical-- and it was. Yet at the practical level they utilized tools available to us all. Tools designed to encourage positive outcomes. The Fairy Godmother knows climbing the Golden Ladder, where each rung represents a specific action tied to a Deepest Desire, will transport us toward success.

How exactly does this work? Each of us is born into life with personal strengths. Our quest for a happier life begins with indentifying our individual powers. And your next question might be, "What are personal strengths and powers?"

Let's take a look at Cinderella. She is sweet and thoughtful. Although her family bosses her around, overwhelming her with tasks, the reason she is able to get it all done is because she likes work that makes homes beautiful.

Another's distinguishing strengths might be courage and loyalty. For others friendship and acceptance, or curiosity and ingenuity could be revealed as strengths. Look at scholars. I would be surprised if you could find one that was not curious. This intellectual curiosity is found in most teachers as well as enthusiasm for sharing knowledge. Each of us has a mix of strengths drawn from the universal pool of faith, truth, love, beauty, temperance, and creativity, love of learning, justice, wisdom, kindness, leadership, fairness, or transcendence.

These sound lofty or maybe we think they only look great on paper. Ignoring our strengths puts our happiness at risk. Engaging our talents is the foundation of satisfaction in life. When we lose ourselves in strengths time falls away. Think of the scholar lost in an array of books and research looking at the clock dazed with how time disappeared. We can identify our strengths by paying attention to when we are so absorbed in a task we lose self consciousness. Notice what gives you joy. Joy is a sure sign we're engaging strengths.

Although Cinderella is young and has not matured to the point of manifesting her dreams she is already engaging her strengths. The Fairy Godmother is drawn to Cinderella's passion for extending love. Undeterred by criticism raining down upon her Cinderella brings a loving presence into every moment and each chore. As she works she is interacting with her Deepest Desire to love well. This focus shields her from the negativity in her environment. Even under the most onerous of circumstances Cinderella continually affirms life grounded in her ability to love. Cinderella's problem is finding a relationship to engage and return her love.

I'm embarrassed to say it was not until I was 50 years old that it occurred to me that it might be more productive if I embraced the Fairy Godmother as my personal symbol rather than Cinderella. Then I realized the interactions between Cinderella and her Fairy Godmother formed an apprenticeship. Cinderella is apprenticing to the Fairy Godmother. She is a Fairy Godmother in training. It was a revelation. I perceived the Fairy Godmother provided the tools and wisdom that lead Cinderella to find her "happily ever-after." Now you've probably realized all along that the Fairy Godmother was training Cinderella. But I was so involved in the story and over identifying with Cinderella I missed the bigger picture.

Watching the Fairy Godmother I discovered a delicate, magical creature. For her prolonged exposure to the harsh toxicities of modern life is lethal. Her home is in the ether realm of the Fairies. But out of her deep and abiding commitment to share the qualities of love, beauty, virtue and happiness she occasionally penetrates our physical environment to teach us. She is beneficent and altruistic. She is committed to a path of radiant happiness.

At this point some of us may be thinking it's easy for the Fairy Godmother to be happy because she has no adversity in her life. Whether or not the Fairy Godmother has adversity or perhaps has grown beyond the bounds of adversity is not an issue for me. Instead I wonder: How does the Fairy Godmother operate? What tools does she use to transform Cinderella from a waif into a princess -- from a servant into royalty? It's not the magic wand that caused the transformation. A magic wand is simply a device designed to focus the owner's personal potency. So what changed Cinderella?

The Fairy Godmother gave the skills of happiness to Cinderella. _Cinderella_ used these gifts to bring about _her own_ transformation. How many people in your life are committed to expressing happiness in a way that betters themselves and others? I'm talking about the capacity and willingness to perform acts of caring, practical expressions of love and beauty for the good of others.

Troubles in today's world can be overwhelming. We see broken families, economic downturns, loss of jobs and recently epidemic losses of homes, my own included. War, terrorism, illness, lack of medical care, shortages of food and water; the list goes on and on. These adversities touch all our lives. We all struggle to one extent or another with unprecedented stress.

Is it accurate to say genuine happiness and beauty in the midst of these overwhelming challenges has become as rare as the appearance of the Fairy Godmother? Many of us are preoccupied with the struggle to survive the painful and impoverished times we live in.

But wait! Creating beauty and positive outcomes in the midst of turmoil is at the heart of the Fairy Godmother's teachings. The Fairy Godmother is, in her own way, a transcendent, quintessential radical. Yes, her teachings are revolutionary. Awaken to the teachings of the Fairy Godmother and prepare yourself. You may stumble into the realm of transcendent happiness.

# CHAPTER TWO

**The First Key to Happiness: Deepest Desires are the seeds of our happiness. The beginnings of happiness are born from our identification and recognition of Deepest Desires.**

In the Fairy Godmother's relationship with Cinderella we find the tools required for creating happiness. They are embedded in their interactions.

Cinderella's first encounter with the Fairy Godmother takes place in the lush rows of the vegetable garden. It was twilight. The air was beginning to cool. Lengthening shadows bend color, deepening the blues and green. The garden is saturated in twilight's paint. Cinderella's eyes passed over the Fairy Godmother than backtracked. How many times in the past had Cinderella's eyes passed over the Fairy Godmother unseeing?

Startled by the intimate perfection of the Fairy Godmother Cinderella is jarred out of her unhappiness. Have you ever been moved out of misery by the perfection of a setting sun, a full moon rising, or the compassion in the eyes of a friend?

The Fairy Godmother often appears at dawn or twilight. Within the balance of the light and dark, the transitioning day to night, night to day, sunlight to moonlight, while the trees sigh and take their breath, the Fairy Godmother slides into the mortal world. The emergence of the Fairy Godmother astonishes Cinderella. This is often the first step out of unhappiness. Something surprises us. In this case finding the Fairy Godmother stuns Cinderella out of her by rote feelings of hopelessness.

In modern life many experiences disguise the shape of the Fairy Godmother. A health problem may cause us to re-prioritize the structure of our life. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome disabled the author of _The Story of Seabiscuit_. Ordinary tasks of life beyond her ability Laura Hillenbrand wrote from bed her now famous book about the race horse Seabiscuit. The Fairy Godmother doesn't always appear in stardust and moon glow.

By sighting the Fairy Godmother Cinderella is standing within virgin territory. A place she has never encountered before. In the Fairy Godmother's presence Cinderella is shocked into wholeness. She is alive to her totality. Fueled by adrenalin flowing through her, igniting something indefinable, greater than her fears, greater than the destructive environment of toxic relationships she has known within her home.

This is what happens when we stumble into the presence of the Fairy Godmother. Standing within her enlightenment we are jarred awake, jolted into self-awareness. Our personal resources flood forward engaging strengths, those talents uniquely our own. Once our resources and strengths are flowing the skills of resiliency are at our fingertips. Positive Possibilities emerge. We identify our resources. We repurpose resources previously unnoticed in our environment and skill set. The moment is a flash in the context of eternity. What I've described in a couple of paragraphs, in mortal time could take years.

Despite the fact that Cinderella engages her personal strengths each day and thus is protected in part from the toxic relationships around her, she lives surrounded by unhappiness. The potency of the Fairy Godmother's radiance knocks Cinderella out of her entrenched ways of thinking and perceiving. This moment, free of ingrained patterns of perception, is fertile ground for Cinderella's transformation. Letting the new or powerful, in this case the Fairy Godmother, into her circle of awareness Cinderella has courted insight and change. She is inundated with new ways of perceiving.

When you are in the presence of someone, like the Fairy Godmother, who knows their strengths, knows their skills and engages these resources to manifest Positive Possibilities; hope awakens within you. You are no longer vibrating at the frequency of your problems. Instead you are vibrating at the frequency of hope.

In Tibet if you go to a healer s/he will give you a Mandala. In your illness or disease you vibrate with the frequency that is the root of your illness. Taking the Mandala home, you are instructed to meditate and become At One with the picture, At One with its frequency. Once you have entrained the frequency of the Mandala you are cured of your illness. You no longer vibrate at the frequency of illness. Instead you vibrate with the frequency of health represented within the picture of the Mandala. The same phenomenon occurs when you encounter and embrace hope.

Shawn Achor the author of _The Happiness Advantage_ talks about a similar experience when he came to Harvard College. It was love at first sight. The buildings steeped in the traditions of education, some of the finest minds of our generation surround him. Did they leave a trail? You know, and I say this with the greatest respect, like the shiny snail trail left behind in a snails wake. If so, Shawn absorbed the power. He felt empowered. When we feel empowered we are more likely to see opportunities and manifest a version of our best possible self. We are courting success.

This is what happened to Cinderella in the Fairy Godmother's presence. She shed the lower frequency of her depression. She joined and embodied the frequency of the Fairy Godmother. In India it is a great blessing to eat fruit blessed by the guru. The blessed food is transformed. It carries the vitality, the vibration of the guru. When you eat it you become literally and metaphorically At One with the guru's vibration.

Shed of her habitual hopelessness Cinderella is able see Positive Possibilities in her future. This is the first step she took to become sovereign unto herself. As a fledgling Queen she perceives Positive Possibilities surrounding her in the garden. The pumpkin hollowed out was large enough to become a carriage to transport her to the ball. Her friends the mice, transformed within her vision, could pull her carriage.

I have no idea how Cinderella saw the mice as able to pull the carriage. But I do know when you look at the resources already in your environment, within a fresh perspective, those resources can be re-purposed. Creativity mixed into present day resources creates new, potentially ingenious, possibilities.

Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself in the story. First, we see by sharing the aura of the Fairy Godmother, Cinderella is cleansed of her depression. In the words of Tibetan healing; after sharing the frequency of the Fairy Godmother that lives and dwells already within her, Cinderella is cleansed. The world looks different to her now. She is fueled by her strengths. She's engaging her resources and Positive Possibilities spread out before her.

Next, the Fairy Godmother invites Cinderella to speak her deepest, heartfelt desires. Being listened to with attention is a new experience for Cinderella. And very few people talk about Deepest Desires. No one in recent years has taken the time to get to know Cinderella. Before meeting the Fairy Godmother, she has not been given respect, attention or understanding since the death of her Mother and Father. I'm sure you can see how powerful it might be to give voice to our Deepest Desires while being listened to with care, respect and attention.

If Cinderella had told her stepmother she dreamed of becoming a Queen she would have been laughed out of the room. All women want to become Queen. Cinderella's stepsisters are in a competition to become Queen. To each sister becoming Queen means they will not have to do any work. They will live in the most beautiful home in the neighborhood. People will line up to do them favors and bring them gifts. They will have the most beautiful clothes of all their friends. And their jewelry will outshine every other woman in the land.

Finally, they will be married to the second most powerful man in the nation, the Prince. Because they do not know the paths of authentic interaction, filled with heart, purpose and meaning, they can only see the superficial benefits of marrying the Prince. They will be the second most powerful woman in the Kingdom.

Cinderella does not want to be Queen in the, 'I'm more powerful than you,' sense. She wants sovereignty over her immediate world. She wants to fulfill her Deepest Desires, living within the glow of realizing her ambitions. She wants to interact with life from her strengths. Her actions bring beauty to her world and touch the lives of those she loves with beauty.

Sovereign within her environment she'll surround herself with Focal Points of Beauty. She wants to give and receive love in a mutually beneficial loop of reciprocity. She wants to share with a partner. Their strengths dovetail. Together they are more powerful than when they are apart.

Cinderella understands true power is not power over or domination of another. True power is our ability to create well-being. True power is our skill, our capacity, to choreography, through engaging our strengths, our life with well-being. This is what Cinderella means when she says she wants to be Queen.

The Fairy Godmother asks Cinderella to speak her Deepest Desires. Surrounded by the Fairy Godmother's love and acceptance Cinderella gives voice to her secret and previously unspoken dreams. Thinking out loud for the first time she begins to refine her ideas. Surrounded by the Fairy Godmother's care and support Cinderella claims her purpose. Within the radiance of the Fairy Godmother, Cinderella's hope is sparked and begins to burn brightly.

Before the Fairy Godmother leaves she instructs Cinderella in the art of engaging her strengths. Cinderella is filled to overflowing with her Deepest Desires. Morning, noon and night she cleans and waits on her family. Cinderella's dreams of a life giving and receiving love. Her dreams spill over and fill each task. Every chore is infused with Cinderella's unrealized dreams as well as her love.

Yet for all her love Cinderella didn't have the tools or the knowledge to manifest her goals. How long did Cinderella work, ceaselessly, love spilling through her and into her chores, before she met the Fairy Godmother? How long did she go unnoticed and uncared for by the people around her?

Love saved Cinderella. Love kept her from becoming bitter. Love shielded her from the callous treatment she received from others. It was love that drew the attention of the Fairy Godmother.

The Fairy Godmother introduced Cinderella to the process of defining her Deepest Desires, creating Proclamations and climbing the rungs of the Golden Ladder. Cinderella never realized congruent behaviors aligned Deepest Desire's creates a home in the physical world.

Given Cinderella's impoverished existence it's amazing the Fairy Godmother is able to so quickly call forth Cinderella's Deepest Desires. Is it because Cinderella is ready for change? Is this why today Cinderella's eye fell on the Fairy Godmother and held? Even though it is impossible for a Fairy Godmother to actual exist. Even though rational people do not see Fairy Godmother's hanging out in the vegetable garden. Cinderella's eye fell on the Fairy Godmother and today she could see her without running away. Why? Cinderella had kept her immediate life rich with love and interaction.

She tends the plants in the garden with love. She is rewarded with their growth. Surrounded by Cinderella's love they flourished. She murmurs soft, kind words as she feeds the chickens. They give bountiful eggs, large and wondrous, under her care. The family cow is generous. She feels the comfort of Cinderella's voice and the respectful urgings of her hands pulling the milk through her udders. The world under the care of Cinderella shines with love.

Even the interior of the house has a special glow. Filled with treasures Cinderella's mother designed before her untimely death. As Cinderella dusts and sweeps until the house sparkles she remembers the joy of living with her parents. Family dinners filled with laughter and controversy. Working together on projects Cinderella learned the ways of keeping a home. She remembers evenings spent by the fire reading or making music. All had been well in the small household.

One day a woman appeared at their door with a story of need and two small children. Cinderella's mother and father befriended her, helping her make a new beginning. They offered her employment. Then Cinderella's mother sickened and died.

Had there been a connection with the arrival of the woman who became her stepmother and the death of her mother? Another story for another time, it's a tale worked out in the mists of eternity far from Cinderella.

Before the arrival of the Fairy Godmother no one had inquired about Cinderella's dreams. Who in your life asks you about your hopes and dreams? Who supports you in your aspirations without judgment or criticism?

At their first meeting Cinderella had been shocked out of her habitual, by rote, ways of interacting. She was working in the garden after a difficult misunderstanding with her stepmother. Actually she had been banished from the house for the day. Cinderella didn't mind. The earth is alive under her fingers. The sun warm against her skin. A quiet stirring of air keeps her cool. Cinderella is amazed by the people who don't understand the earth is alive. _How could a dead planet give rise to living and growing crops_? She listens to the earth speaking with her intuition while planting her kitchen garden, rotating the produce each year to replenish the soil.

She was on her hands and knees. Her fingers grip and release the dirt to work in the compost. When she looks up, standing between the leaves of corn is the Fairy Godmother. At this first meeting the Fairy Godmother is only a few inches tall. But her radiance spread far beyond the garden. The brilliance steals Cinderella's breath from her lungs. Her Fairy Godmother sparkles.

Have you ever noticed when you are shocked or terrified suddenly your world and priorities shift? This happens to Cinderella when she sees the Fairy Godmother. Happily she finds the composure to speak. She says, "Good evening Wise One. Can I help you?"

The Fairy Godmother smiles, "I'm here to help you. Together we'll find the path to realizing your Deepest Desires." And then she listens to Cinderella's Deepest Desires from the perspective of the Universal Law of Ever Expanding Beneficence. She listens without judging, without criticism or discouragement. On the contrary the only aspiration manifested by the Fairy Godmother is to support, assist and encourage Cinderella in achieving her dreams. The Fairy Godmother is the original "game-changer."

Have you heard of the Universal Law of Ever Expanding Beneficence? Have you ever put your trust in the power of beneficence? Sometimes I hear people say, "Every thing happens for a reason." It makes me cringe. I don't want to offend you. Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Sometimes it seems like a cheap excuse, a short-cut to avoid something... Responsibility?

We personalize beneficence. As if it comes to us for our private, special reasons. Beneficence is a Universal Law. It engages us in response to our congruency. Mind, body, spirit and behavioral congruence will ignite the Universal Law of Ever Expanding Beneficence. Working hand in hand with Deepest Desires; we begin the journey climbing Golden Ladders of behaviors. Behaviors congruent with intentions draw Deepest Desires into the physical plane. Through our clarity and congruency we engage the supernatural aid of the Universal Law of Ever Expanding Beneficence.

Congruence is a huge factor in manifesting positivity and magnetizing Beneficence. Congruent-positivity is a precursor to Beneficence. This is the key to creating success. Congruency is composed of the alignment of our thoughts, feelings, actions and spirit. Synergistically they infuse and fuel our Deepest Desires. Beneficence is not a random occurrence, nor is it a personal one. The Universal Law of Ever Expanding Beneficence is available to each and every one of us tied to thoughts, feelings and behaviors congruent with our Deepest Desires. The challenge? Can you trust yourself? Will you honor Deepest Desires? I know reading this most will say, "Oh yes, I'll honor my Deepest Desires."

The dilemma of committing to our Deepest Desires leads into another tired and over-used saying, "If this was easy everyone would do it." But there is another factor. Can you fathom inherent in your Deepest Desires is well-being that will bless lives; radiating out ripples of happiness. Can you lightly, yet seriously, hold the responsibility of your Deepest Desires?

The Fairy Godmother created the first change in Cinderella's life by encouraging her to name, explore and expand upon her Deepest Desires. Remember the seeds of our happiness are hidden away in our Deepest Desires. Therefore the path to joy requires first of all an identification of our dreams.

This is the first time since her parent's deaths that Cinderella has been listened to with care and optimism for the future. Cinderella is able to convert the excitement of her new found support into the reality of congruent behaviors. It is a rare and wonderful experience to be heard and understood. It is even more exciting and fulfilling to achieve our dreams. From the view point of Ever Expanding Beneficence the universe wants each person to achieve all they desire. Yes, that's right. The Ever Expanding Beneficent Universe _wants_ us to succeed.

The Fairy Godmother paid no attention to Cinderella's difficulties or the ugliness in her life. She didn't comment on Cinderella's dress hanging on her like rags. She didn't point out Cinderella's skin is smudged from the black charcoal cinders. She doesn't lecture her on hygiene. The Fairy Godmother didn't call attention to Cinderella's tangled hair. Nor did she comment on the relationship Cinderella has with her stepmother and stepsisters.

The Fairy Godmother shifts Cinderella's attention from what is wrong with her life, for example, living with a wicked stepmother and two wicked stepsisters with their never ending demands sucking Cinderella dry of every ounce of life each day. Instead the Fairy Godmother focuses Cinderella's attention toward her dreams, hopes, aspirations and Deepest Desires.

The Fairy Godmother through being whole and complete herself makes contact with Cinderella's destiny. We each have several destinies. All require our totality. Because the Fairy Godmother has access to her entirety she is able to inspire and perceive Cinderella's potential. So she asks Cinderella to define, her secret and maybe repressed, Deepest Desires. This is important for two reasons: First, our Deepest Desires are a reflection of the authentic self. In making contact with her Deepest Desires Cinderella is encountering her unique and essential self.

Secondly, Deepest Desires penetrate all aspects of selfhood. They live in our mind, body and spirit simultaneously. This interpenetration throughout the totality of our nature may be conscious or unconscious but it is ever-present. We cannot destroy our Deepest Desires. We can reject, ignore or even attempt to destroy our hopes and dreams but they continue to live within the disenfranchised parts of our selves and sometimes wreak havoc within our daily life. Our Deepest Desires will always seek an avenue to express themselves.

Too many of us go throughout our entire lives disconnected from our authentic self. Instead we live out roles and expectations we place on ourselves or that are imposed upon us from others or our culture.

Cinderella makes contact with her authentic self. She makes choices based on her commitment to her desires. She claims her power. Accessing her Deepest Desires Cinderella discovers personal liberation. Our freedom awaits our choice and commitment to bring into tangible forms joy.

The Fairy Godmother is a role model for Cinderella illustrating the good in life. She inspires in Cinderella the courage to break from the mold of expectations. She doesn't have to live the life of unappreciated effort and work. With the Fairy Godmother as her mentor Cinderella explores her desires without fear or reservations.

In essence the Fairy Godmother is telling Cinderella: "Live your potential." Cinderella claims dominion over her personal potential. Choosing to commit to her Deepest Desires she designs congruent behaviors. They will encourage her desires to take root in the physical world. Cinderella gains the confidence to set aside the expectations of others. She began to trust Deepest Desires to guide the course of her life.

Here is what we've found out so far about Deepest Desires: They are the seeds of our happiness. They may evolve but will never leave us. They are a permanent part of our existence. We can bury them, we can ignore them, we can reject them, we can surround them with confusion but they will never go away. They are intertwined with our personal strengths. This interpenetration dovetailing with congruent behaviors fuels our achievements.

Take a moment. Remember a time when your heart and mind were _not_ congruent. For instance, I can remember moments of sexual attraction but in my heart I knew the relationship was not for me. Remember that job offer your mind thinks is great but your spirit has no interest in pursuing? When our desires are fragmented, pulling us in different directions, it's difficult, if not impossible, to create success.

Cinderella discovers the world of the Fairy Godmother is not at cross purposes. It is not polluted by hidden agendas. It is not convoluted with layers of manipulation and deceit. There is no theft, personal violations or back stabbing in the Fairy Godmother's circle of friends. Negativity, judgmental attitudes or worst of all, a lack of faith in our abilities to envision and create goodness do not exist in her domain. The Fairy Godmother lives the example of The Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence. She radiates love creating a spark of comprehension propelling Cinderella toward self-realization. The Fairy Godmother reflects our connection to the authentic self and its inherently illuminated state.

Deepest Desires, rooted in our essential self, permeate our consciousness with congruency. When we align with our Deepest Desires the possibility of genuine happiness is at hand.

**First Key to Happiness: Deepest Desires are the seeds to happiness. The beginnings of happiness are born from the identification and recognition of Deepest Desires.**

# CHAPTER THREE

**The Second Key to Happiness: Focusing on harmony, health and success will bring us more harmony, health and success.**

When the Fairy Godmother materialized in Cinderella's impoverished life she didn't spend time sorting out Cinderella's ongoing conflicts. She didn't ask psychiatric questions to measure if Cinderella was oriented to time and place. She didn't ask her to count back from one hundred by sevens or diagnosis her with DSM V. She didn't evaluate Cinderella for suicidal ideation or assess her for anti-depressants. The two of them did not review Cinderella's childhood traumas.

Why? Focusing on traumas ingrains them in our biology. I am not suggesting we ignore traumatic events. It is important to bring compassion to our injured parts. The story of Cinderella takes place when she is ready to change her life. It's not the time for an emotional autopsy. It is a time of setting aside the pains of the past and moving forward unencumbered by traumas.

The Fairy Godmother did not explore Cinderella's relationship with her father and why he chose to marry a wicked woman. She did not mention Cinderella's grief over her mother's death. Nor did she commiserate with Cinderella about her impoverished, even destitute circumstances. Why? Because putting our attention on what we don't want gives us more of what we don't want. This is not higher math. What we feed with our attention grows.

So, if the Fairy Godmother avoids Cinderella's conflicts, ignores her pain, if she does not console and sympathize with her what did the Fairy Godmother do? How is she successful transforming Cinderella's life?

Creating happiness requires a simple truth. Notice what's good. Take the time to savor what is already good. After I wrote the first version of The Way of the Fairy Godmother but, before I wrote the present version, I went through a dark time. In the midst of financial losses including the loss of my home I had three, progressively serious back surgeries. I was living in a townhouse by the airport directly under the landing pattern in a neighborhood routinely enveloped in swamp gas. I never knew passenger jets could get so low. I could almost reach out and touch the monsters spewing their trail of grit.

Losing motor control and endurance I was unable to practice yoga. I felt lost without my daily dose of prayer and movement. I was adrift, in pain and neurologically deteriorating. Walking across the living room was exhausting. I took spectacular falls.

A hostile neighbor repeatedly threatened to kill Blackie. I had to move. Failing neuromuscular control, moving, surgery; I was a mess. Recuperating after surgery I lost myself in TV and reading. Suddenly Blackie's health took a turn for the worst. The vet recommended putting him down. Defeated I agreed. Weeks later, in a moment of clarity I regretted acting precipitously. I wondered could I have saved Blackie's life with a course of steroids and antibiotics? Heart broken, slow to recover from surgery, I was running out of money. It was a dark time. Spiraling into places we should avoid.

I decided on a simple intervention. I sat outside on sunny winter days on a sheltered bench in front of my apartment. I could savor the light and the warmth of the Arizona sun. It was enough to build optimism and had the added benefit of hiding the stark white of my cheeks.

During the second visit from the Fairy Godmother Cinderella perceives her surrounded with effervescent beauty. Her beauty is a force of nature, startling Cinderella before she falls into admiration. Taking in a moment of beauty is like making a deposit in the bank of our personal reserves. Beauty calms us. Beauty soothes the pains of our pasts. Beauty lifts our spirits. Cinderella gazes at the Fairy Godmother's beauty and it elevates her out of the toxicity of her negative environment. In relishing the Fairy Godmother's radiance Cinderella is momentarily liberated from her life of endless drudgery. Just as I was momentarily liberated sitting on the bench in the light and warmth of the sun.

Instead of talking about problems the Fairy Godmother points out what is wonderful in Cinderella's environment. Walking through the garden together the Fairy Godmother invites Cinderella to notice the warmth of the sun on her skin, and to feel the earth beneath her feet. She comments on the color and fragrance of roses blooming. Bees buzz around the honeysuckle. She points out the splendor of the extra large pumpkin growing in the kitchen garden. These are some of the resources Cinderella will repurpose to build her sovereignty and find her way to the ball, her first date with the Prince. Already she knows the roses and honeysuckle distilled will become her new perfume.

Did you notice before beginning their work during their walk through the garden, the Fairy Godmother points out what is positive, favorable and functioning well in Cinderella's world? From this point of strength Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother begin. But, what makes the Fairy Godmother so special?

The Fairy Godmother lives in the realm of Fairy dedicated to the magnificence of the authentic, essential self. Many of us have lost our connection with our essential selves. There are a few people who knew from childhood their purpose and meaning in life. Like the boy down the street who knew he would become a doctor. For most of us finding our purpose and joy in life will take time. We'll go through periods of shedding identities to claim new ones.

When my son was two years old every time we saw the garbage truck we had to stop and watch the truck do its work. Scott sighed with happiness and said, "When I grow up I'm going to be a garbage truck driver." This last summer before his senor year in college he spent the break at an internship at Point Magoo Naval Air Station. They were studying how to use the resonance of magnets to defuse bombs. Think of the countless saved lives and body parts. Scott is still interested in technology but it has a new form and purpose.

In part, Scott developed his dreams, by mastering childhood computer and video games. The fantastic ideas of fantasy-fiction-like-games - they morph into the world of technology. In his childhood Scott was active with martial arts. He came to me pre-kindergarten and told me he wanted help to become like the Power Rangers. Tennis, swimming lessons through third grade kept him grounded in the physical world. After he completed homework assignments, I gave Scott free rein with his video games. It was our secret.

We live in an era where mothers limit their child's exposure to all things video and computer out of fear of their influence. For me, I find the line between destiny and free choice complex. I could not claim to know the skills Scott would need in his adult life. I honor the connection between fate and free choice by following passionate interests. Potentially Scott was developing expertise for his future by following his interests. His worldly requirements met, he's thriving educationally, socially. I committed to letting him explore his passion.

On Friday nights Scott and I stayed up late. Watching him collect gems I shouted instructions, back seat driving, while Scott searched for the dragon's treasure. It was fun! As he got older there were games building farms and constructing cities in amazing detail. More games: of warfare, mythology. Scott started talking to me in mythic terms that out-paced my own interests and knowledge. This is how Scott found his essential self. He followed his joys, practicing the skills needed to master each challenge ultimately leading to an internship on a naval airbase. I'm honored watching as he builds the foundation for a life of purpose and meaning.

How do we find our essential self? The same way Scott did, follow what brings us joy and find ways to bring what we love into our daily life. Put attention on what we love and use it for good. Imagine the peace we might feel to breathe while one with our hopes and desires. Imagine the joy of spending time and attention engaged in what we love. Yes, we have commitments. I'm not suggesting we ignore daily chores. Let's take care of life and where possible weave in what brings us joy. Do you love fashion? Maybe a first job would be in a clothing store or visit the internet. Is there a program teaching how to design clothes?

The teachings of the Fairy Godmother require actualizing our Deepest Desires as the foundation of our personal happiness. This is the hero's journey. It will take every resource we have and ask for more.

How do we avoid falling into the trappings of success that leave us hungry? How do we remember beauty and success is not in the color of our skin? It's not in the size of our private parts. Beauty and success is not in the car we drive, the prestigious job where we work, or the home we live in. All these outer features can be reflections of our well-being when they are connected to the expression of our Deepest Desires for the good and well being of self and others. The trappings of success become meaningful when connected to our purpose in life. Countless people have been disappointed by collecting the outward trappings of beauty disconnected from the authentic self. Ask Cinderella's stepmother and stepsisters.

In the Fairy world individual behavior is born out of the natural requirement to create beauty. That's all they do in the Realm of Fairy, they make beauty. They have infinite words used to describe beauty. There are the subtle beauties of night blooming jasmine as it floats through the open window and across our skin during the sleep of summer nights. There are beauties that steal the breath right out of our lungs, like the explosion of joy with first love. The eerie beauty of howling coyotes across the silent moonscape of Saguaro cactus and desert ravines, or the shimmer of power rippling through a Fairy circle, and the scent of the Pine trees against the endless blue sky: beauty is every where. There is the beauty we find delving deeply into the body through a sport or as I did in yoga. Losing ourselves in the flow of movement held together by a whispered prayer.

Walking the razors edge of our abilities, reaching to encompass more, our efforts could be kinesthetic, mental or emotional. The razors edge, of what we know and don't know, is the mother of innovation.

Last night I felt the love of my sweet golden doodle standing next to me as I moved to the edge of sleep. The gentle whiff of air through his nose blew across my face. Is he standing guard?

After back surgery and my loss of coordination I found aggravated beauty in the love every time my husband ran to pick me up after I fell. And the narration goes on endlessly. Contrasting beauties, extravagant beauties, terrible beauties, beauties that nourish the body, beauties that nourish the soul; they all have a symphony of words to describe them in the border between human and Fairy language.

The Fairy Godmother carries the geography of beauty within her totality. She makes her personal choices born out of her Deepest Desire to create beauty. Her surrounding environment reflects and supports her desires. It is from this internal and external topography that the Fairy Godmother converses with Cinderella.

Stress can choke the life out of the moment. Just to shift her attention away from her unremitting, erosive and suffocating stress Cinderella was able to breathe easier. Yes, relief is as close to us as shifting our attention. The Fairy Godmother also knows resources, previously unrecognized, will be revealed when Cinderella is no longer strangled and entrapped in her stress.

As the Fairy Godmother refocuses Cinderella toward Positive Possibilities she knows Cinderella can transform her tattered dress by encasing herself within her personal beauty. Once Cinderella claims her strength, when she picks up her personal authority and apprentices to love, everything she wears is stunning. Even her rags become chic and stylish. Has there been a time that you've seen, in person or in pictures, people standing tall - emanating dignity - amidst a catastrophe? Look to the photos of National Geographic Magazine.

Can you conceive Cinderella's relief? In the presence of the Fairy Godmother she finds herself amidst her dreams, dazzled. She pictures herself dancing with her Prince surrounded by the light of a thousand candles and the soft glow of moon beams. She envisions herself sharing her need to love and be loved. She imagines the Prince affirming his need to love her and be loved in return. Cinderella is swept away with the Positive Possibilities of her imagination. That's what Deepest Desires do. They delight and dazzle us. They relocate us in the landscape of Positive Possibilities.

Adopting the Fairy Godmother as a personal symbol of happiness buffers us. We avoid becoming enmeshed in negative, stressful or unwanted situations. Focusing on negative, stressful and unwanted circumstances concretizes the negative, stressful and unwanted circumstances. Eventually they'll morph into fossilized, semi-permanent structures, all the way through our bodies and spirit. We'll literally live in a self-made prison of unhappiness and depression. Every time we are lost in the pains of the past, or present, we are creating the biology of stress and pain reinforced by (drum roll please) more stress and pain.

Lost in the pains of the past is vastly different, an alternate universe from problem solving or the skills of calming and soothing helpful during stressful events. What? You've never heard of the skills of calming and soothing? Yes! That's my point! Our attitudes, the influences of our environments, our behaviors, they are reflected in our bodies and souls. We are a Petri dish experiment and biological laboratory. What we concoct is up to us individually and as partners in the creation of life. It's dazzling to realize how much power we have over our reactions and even circumstance.

Occasionally the burdens of the moment are too great to bear. We might need to rest for a while where we are; even if it's crushed under the weight of a disability, a failed relationship or the loss of a loved one. But when we're ready to pick up the threads of our lives it's important to develop the skill of shifting our attention toward life.

We each have the power to relieve our despair and regain our abilities to concoct peace. We learn the various, day to day recipes and ingredients of peace. One day it's a pinch of acceptance. The next day acceptance is the main ingredient. Too often we let our challenging circumstances define us. We ignore even the cool soothing air next to our skin or the path of a cleansing, restorative breath. The more we can collect moments of harmony and beauty -- however fleeting -- the more harmony and beauty there will be to collect.

Appreciating harmony and beauty, wherever we can find it, is an essential feature of happiness. Finding the good and enhancing it with attention is the beginnings of well-being.

Cinderella lives surrounded by people who do not have her best interests at heart. Her efforts to create beauty, born from the kindness of her essential self, were ignored and trampled on. She protected herself from hopelessness by daydreaming about love. After her period of mourning her parent's death in the Great Silence she refused to be drawn into the abyss of negativity. She earnestly focuses on love. This attitude became habitual and natural to Cinderella. Ultimately it is her saving grace. Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year Cinderella stayed present to love. She pursued love and beauty simply for the inherent value of love and beauty.

I call this period of relentless effort 'The Great Silence.' It's the time when we are consumed with our Deepest Desires but our efforts in the outer world are met with silence. All our labors fall into a void. They disappear with little or no effect in the outer world. In the Great Silence we do not see the fruits of our labors. There is not yet the momentum of Positive Possibilities built up over time into a foundation. Deepest Desires need roots allowing them to flower from a strong stem.

A Great Silence can last for an indefinite period of time ranging from days to years. To endure beyond the Great Silence each of us pursues Deepest Desires for the value of the pursuit, the engagement of our strengths and the positive feelings that come with engagement and pursuit.

Cinderella's positive attitudes wired love through the fabric of her personal strengths. She carries the vibration of love in her behavior, in her nature, in her personal strengths, her feelings and in her outlook on life. Connected to her strengths Cinderella constructs a foundation on which to build her happiness. As a result, when the Fairy Godmother arrives she is ready and open to receive the teachings. The first step is to identify our strengths and stay connected!

Occasionally we only need permission to refocus our attitudes. The Fairy Godmother's appearance provides Cinderella with the external authorization to pursue her dreams. Whether we find our go-ahead internally or externally the next step toward a life of well-being is to design behaviors congruent with our attitudes and goals. This will manifest the Positive Possibilities that create happiness. The Fairy Godmother gave Cinderella permission to change her focus and she did!

Do you have a Fairy Godmother? What form does she take in your life? Can you build a Fairy Godmother? What would constructing a Fairy Godmother look like in your world?

**This is the Second Key to Happiness: Focusing on harmony, health, joy and success will bring us more harmony, health, joy and success.**

# CHAPTER FOUR

**The Third Key to Happiness: We are filled with native talents and resources, personal strengths. These resources support our Deepest Desires. Apply them in daily life to manifest dreams.**

Cinderella is joyful with the news the Prince desires to marry a woman with whom he finds shared love. It will be a relationship giving and receiving authentic love. Finally, here is someone who shares Cinderella's goals. She intuitively knew she would be the perfect wife for the Prince. Her quandary? How does she translate this inside knowing to her outside self? What steps will she need to take in order to match her outsides with her dreams?

From outward appearances Cinderella wouldn't be a suitable choice to marry the Prince. She is poor, and invisible to most people. She is occupied with cleaning and errands. There is no time in her day for a quiet cup of coffee. She is harried and bowed under the constant strain of more work than one person could reasonably accomplish.

Cinderella has no time to think about what outfit would look pretty if she attends the Prince's party. Her clothes are patched and thread barren beyond recognition or style. She has no outfits except the rags she pieced together -- cast offs, tattered and stained, through careless treatment. Cinderella's nails are unpolished. Some were broken and chipped. Her hands -- raw from hot water and scrubbing -- in cold weather crack and bleed.

She is a quiet person. Quiet is also her strategy to avoid the contemptuous criticisms, the terrible-grating-laughter of her stepmother whenever Cinderella speaks. Her day begins before dawn and ends well past dark. The kitchen fire long ago burned out. There is no light for reading. Even if she had wanted to read Cinderella's eyes burn and her body droops with fatigue.

These were the unremitting circumstances of Cinderella's life. Where in this environment could Cinderella find the resources to attend the ball and meet the Prince? How will she make a dress appropriate to dance with the Prince from rags and tatters? How will she travel to the castle? Who will escort her past the formidable gates? What kind of polite conversation could she make? She had not read a newspaper in years and had little knowledge of current events. Her circumstance looked and felt hopeless.

This is what Deepest Desires look like to each of us! They seem unattainable. The obstacles in our path seem insurmountable. The home of Deepest Desires stretches far beyond the stars -- a journey light years beyond our reach. For many people their hopes and desires seem so far away they give up on the journey before they begin. Ironically, our seemingly unattainable desires concurrently continue to live deep inside us. Happiness continues to reside inside our secret longings, albeit sequestered, seeking to be released.

Remember the First Key to Happiness: Deepest Desires are the seeds of our happiness. The beginnings of happiness are born from our identification and recognition of Deepest Desires.

Even when our desires seemingly inhabit an unreachable universe they simultaneously reside inside us. The conundrum of Deepest Desires is they give off two messages: yes, we can achieve them. No it's not possible. Yes, we are strong enough, imaginative enough, resourceful and resilient enough to realize our dreams. No we are not qualified, we do not have the expertise required to pull our dreams into our future. Our desires embody paradox. And paradoxes are frustrating and annoying. They pull us in opposing directions. Yes, it's possible, and no it's impossible. I want it but I can't have it. Both statements appear to be true. Reality requires one truth; it is either possible or not possible. What appear to be hopeless circumstances discourage many people from attempting to manifest their dreams.

People remain in bad marriages, continue in a lifeless job with no future prospects for advancement and fail to pursue their hobbies and interests for a seeming lack of time and resources. Do you know anyone who rationalizes their abandonment of Deepest Desires by labeling the rejection "reasonable and practical?"

Unfortunately ignoring our dreams can leave us in despair. A life of avoiding Deepest Desires can become a nightmare. For some people the actual pursuit of secret wishes in public, where everyone can see them, is terrifying. What if we look foolish? What if our Deepest Desires really are unattainable? What if we try and fail?

We doubt our abilities to create our Deepest Desires in real time. We're afraid we'll be mocked, rejected, or belittled if we look into and claim the interior geography that houses our dreams. And don't even let me get started talking about how vulnerable and exposed we feel pursuing dreams.

If we grew up in a family or culture believing happiness comes from hard work, the prospect of taking time away from daily drudgery to build our dreams is foreboding, dangerous, sinister... Adding to our fear is the expectation living our dreams will take every ounce of strength we have and then require more strength. Where will we find the extra strength? Where will we find the creativity, the time, the drive to create tangible dreams?

If life as we know it has us feeling tired, the mountain we'll need to climb to transform our dreams into reality appears as daunting as setting out to climb Mt. Everest as a novice climber.

I feel this every time I start to write a book. While the writing feels enormous and impossible the truth is writing turns out to be the easy part. What?! Yes, the impossible task of writing a book is the easy part of manifesting a book product. I was surprised to find the work after I've written the book, to search out and find our readers, is just as arduous and vulnerable.

Climbing a mountain to pursue our Deepest Desires includes the risk we may get lost. Actually it's true. While striving to achieve our goals we will get lost, and more than once. The quest for converting Deepest Desires into daily reality is lonely or crowded with distractions or both lonely and crowded with distractions. The sheer magnitude of the task can be alarming. The process will transform us. Who will we become? The alteration will go through several evolutions. It's rarely a smooth process. More often than not our process will be filled with anxiety and questions. For example: The infinite rewrites of a book clarify and bring forward the book's elements forged into a cohesive whole through the initial fire of creativity. The next evolution occurs in the fire of transmutation commonly known as editing. The achievement of this conversion in the temporal world could take years, an eternity, or a lifetime, or happen so quickly we feel unprepared.

We delude ourselves we're happier staying away from our dreams. We retreat to other commitments. Living our Deepest Desires may appear to be frivolous. We cast them aside. In the name of survival (which is important!) we take a job that has no meaning for us. We absorb ourselves in restless chatter, food, TV, drugs, gossip or other people's dramas. We pay attention to anything that will distract us from the emptiness of our lives without our dreams.

And yet, our Deepest Desires continue to pull on our longings to live our destiny. We're hungry for the opportunity to engage our personal strengths. We feel unfulfilled, lonely, lost and confused when we abandon our dreams. It's the pursuit of our Deepest Desires that gives us the enthusiasm to leap, or in my case roll, out of bed and greet each day with eagerness. Living our strengths interwoven within our Deepest Desires we become vibrant. Life explodes from black and white into Technicolor as we inhabit our strengths in the real world.

The Fairy Godmother's first inquiry to Cinderella was whether she had the courage and the faith to believe in her ability to manifest her Deepest Desires -- even in the face of seemingly impossible odds. The Fairy Godmother is irrevocably committed to Positive Possibilities. As such a person 'impossible odds' has no meaning for her. When Cinderella answered with an emphatic "yes" their conversation deepened. Together they defined the parameters of Cinderella's dreams and made a Proclamation. Cinderella's Deepest Desire is to find true love. Cinderella needed a life that allowed her to express and receive love with every conversation or chore.

Stepping further into the realm of Cinderella's Deepest Desires, the Fairy Godmother wanted to know whether Cinderella had anybody in mind she might want to marry?

Cinderella's face lit up. Her skin became rosy pink. Her eyes had more shine. She stood up straight, belly in, shoulders down. She was poised. She told the Fairy Godmother a story from her childhood.

When Cinderella was a girl her Mother and Father played Bridge, a strategic card game, with the King and Queen. Beginning in early afternoon the card games often went deep into the night. Cinderella's parents always brought her to the castle. It became a second home to Cinderella. Reminiscing with the Fairy Godmother Cinderella described wild chases. Hair flying behind her running down the basement stairs, the Prince thundering behind her she speed through the basement game rooms set up for ping pong and badminton. She hid in the laundry room behind the chutes that carried the laundry down into a gigantic holding tank made out of a wooden trellis. Opening the exterior door, up the laundry stairs, out to the garden were many hiding places. They sat amidst the flowers or at the top of stone steps soft with overgrown moss that lead to a view of the hills draped in mist.

If the weather kept them indoors they hid behind the panel used to store blankets. Sitting on silk quilts stacked high they unobtrusively watched and listened to the adult's happy table talk and laughter. Occasionally the King pounded the table in good humored laughter. Bridge tables were set up in the castle ballroom surrounded by buffets of food; morning food, pancakes, bacon and eggs filled one sideboard. Sandwich interiors and fresh breads filled another table. There were tables of pastas, hot and cold. Deserts, fresh fruit, the choices went on and on. Roses of every color created centerpieces that marked sideboards used to hold food. Fragrant lilies or orange tree blossoms were the centerpieces marking the counters holding beverages.

Walking inconspicuously around the edges of the room Cinderella and the Prince would hold hands giving each other the strength to pilfer the evening's food. Frequently they were waylaid by a family member swooping in for a hug. When the Prince politely inquired about the evening's games they most often heard, "oh I'm playing the dummy right now." Walking toward the tables groaning with food and deserts Cinderella shook her head. "Why do they so often refer to themselves as the dummy?" They shrugged at the strangeness of adults.

Occasionally they made their way up to the attic. Particularly on stormy wind blown nights, they hid from each other or opened trunks until the attic and its treasures were well known to them. They dressed up in clothes found in a chest pushed to the back corner where the eaves meet the walls.

Cinderella's favorite gown was cream colored lace, tinged just slightly rust with time, the over garment of rich, creamy silk. Spaghetti straps were invisible under a matching bolero lace jacket. The fabric pooled at her feet creating a puddle of lace and silk. When the attic was chilly they found old furs still soft under their fingertips. Sometimes Cinderella wore a black taffeta dress. Previously an ancestor queen's inaugural gown, the skirt was wide with a light net framework of petticoats.

The Prince always dressed in a military uniform he found in another trunk. A sash of medals seemed to make him stand taller to Cinderella's trained, observing eyes. An officer's cap slid down past his ears until he took it off in disgust. They ate their stolen food, using the chest as a table, while the rain lashed against the lead glass windows.

Later they padded in bare feet down the stone hallway into the kitchen to steal handfuls of still warm choclate chip cookies or thick chewy sugar cookies dusted in baker's sugar. If the cook caught them she heated warm milk or creamy choclate with a hint of vanilla. Taking their cookies upstairs they found an unoccupied guest room and made themselves comfortable. Lounging on sofa or bed chewing cookies they embellished stories Cinderella heard in the town square and the Prince heard in the guard's break room. Playing I Spy they fell asleep warmed by the fire and silk comforters on top of heavy velvet bedspreads.

Cinderella returned from her reverie to find the Fairy Godmother intently watching her and nodding. Recounting happy childhood times her eyes sparkled. Her voice was light and lilting. For Cinderella these nights were pure magic. Her time spent with the Prince was the basis of her dreams for a loving marriage.

Evenings at the castle stopped with her Mother's death. Cinderella wasn't sure the Prince would recognize her now. Many people look away or thorough her as she ran errands in her servant clothing. She had become invisible. But one day the town was buzzing with news. The Prince would only marry for love. He had issued a Proclamation! Cinderella had gathered several copies. Enough that after her stepmother and stepsisters had a copy she too could keep one folded in the inside pocket of her skirt.

With shaking hands Cinderella dusted off the remnants of garden dirt. She reached inside her tattered pocket. Reverently she pulled out a copy of **The Proclamation.** Carefully she unfolded the parchment paper and began reading to the Fairy Godmother:

**The Proclamation**

Today I declare my quest to find a wife to become my Queen. I search for a woman who lives her strengths applied to a greater purpose. She'll inspire me to be a better man by loving me beyond my short comings, yet holding me accountable to my promises. She will see in me and I will see in her the possibilities of a life of wonder. Through partnership we are stronger able to address the concerns of each day and what life might cast upon us. Our marriage will flourish in the practical world of daily demands and soften the heart when compassion is needed. In our kingdom we will nurture kindness balanced with strength. My bride is powerful yet sweet. She assesses truth with love.

To find my bride I will travel throughout our country and meet young women. I'll join e-harmony and Match.com to read profiles and set up coffee dates and dinners. My parents, the King and Queen, are holding a party; a celebration of the past and hope for the future. A special welcome back to those who played in the castle while growing up! Every young woman and families in the neighborhood are all invited. Don't trash the palace or take souvenirs.

Daily the king reminds me; children from my marriage will be next in line for the succession. Our children will be the future leaders of our kingdom. We will raise them with love and tested in the ways of integrity. Our kingdom will be invincible.

The Proclamation is a way to gather courage. I gather purpose and intention. But the secret to making dreams come true? Deepest Desires tied to behaviors designed to encourage Positive Possibilities ignites the Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence.

Do you know of the Power of Beneficence? Beneficence wants us to succeed and prosper. Look at the plum trees growing in the town square. Can you see the branches filled to overflowing with its fruit? This is nature's reflection of the Power of Beneficence.

Beneficence is not just a power reserved for princes and plum trees. Beneficence is a thread of power inherent in the tapestry of life. It is available when we claim our Deepest Desires. Our Proclamation and the acts designed to manifest our goals in the literal and physical world are the tools of Beneficence. The Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence is ignited, when through our actions, utilizing our resources, we pull our dreams from the insubstantial realm of the imagination into the physical realm of daily life.

Acts and behaviors congruent with our Deepest Desires are the rungs of the Golden Ladders we climb bringing us closer to our goals. I invite you to join me by pursuing your own Deepest Desires. Trust your dreams to the Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence and climb the rungs of the Golden Ladders in your efforts to pull your dreams into reality.

After reading **The Proclamation** Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother sighed. Pure pleasure washed through them. The Prince, determined to manifest his Deepest Desires without compromise, without fear of change or ridicule and with bold resolve. But behind the shine in the Fairy Godmother's eyes was the joy of working with the Prince to craft his Proclamation. (The Fairy Godmother doesn't just work with orphaned servant girls.)

The miracle of Deepest Desires? In their presence everyone feels excitement, hope, and the sweet ring of truth. Infinitesimal sparks of fire twinkle as Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother name and define Cinderella's desires. Designing her Proclamation they are building optimism for her future.

Interacting with the Fairy Godmother provided Cinderella with the inspiration to sort out the puzzle of the Deepest Desires paradox: How could Cinderella manifest a dream far beyond her means into her daily reality? For those who of us take on the challenge of living beyond the paradox, we do so by clinging to our Deepest Desires in the face of every disheartening obstacle. It is as simple as making a sacred promise. Unite with Deepest Desires and use the available resources to manifest dreams.

Simultaneously with our search we use our skills to meet the demands of daily life. For example the young man who wants to become a professional video gamer uses his technical skills; the small motor control enhanced by playing video games, in a job that brings in money. Think well paid individuals who draw blood or type court transcripts. While a Queen in training Cinderella never stops cleaning. Her skills of organization and impeccable effort will translate into her life in the royal palace. Until then she cleans.

The Prince made a sacred promise to himself and every person in his kingdom. The Prince's oath, to find true love and live a life of authenticity, is the marriage of his Deepest Desires with his present and future behaviors. The entire principality is excited with the Prince's decree. People began questioning and assessing their resources. Older citizens wonder how to incorporate their assets, to revitalize or repurpose their Deepest Desires.

Tangible acts in service to Deepest Desires inspire. The Prince's kingdom is alive with ideas and corresponding behaviors. Individuals with a love of learning began taking classes that held a spark of interest. Woman who wanted to be ballerina's as young girls started taking yoga and revitalized their dream within the prayer, the flow of movement, tied to yoga asana. Cinderella, too, was inspired by the Prince's sacred oath. His promise became her resource, she drew on his strength. The Prince made a sacred vow and he is loyal to his promise. His loyalty is a resource stoking the fires of his dreams and giving vitality to all his actions.

The Fairy Godmother helped Cinderella to realize it doesn't matter if her stepsisters laugh at her dreams. Her stepmother's disdainful and contemptuous criticisms of her efforts are unimportant. Cinderella and the Prince are a match at the level of Deepest Desires. Their minds, hearts, and souls are the fit of two puzzle pieces coming together.

Operating from personal strengths intertwined with Deepest Desires is joyful. Personal strengths are empowering. They are your resources. Unite them with your Proclamation. When our strengths and Proclamation dovetail we are transformed evolving within self-mastery and personal authority. Resources expand. Engaging personal and environmental resources broaden and deepen positive emotion. Layer upon layer of engagement with resources increases our strengths and conversely strengthens our resources. The more time we spend in our personal strengths the more mastery and sovereignty is woven into our expressions and experience. When we join our strengths with Deepest Desires we create Positive Possibilities colored by the reflections of our dreams.

Cinderella spent her days cleaning and by the end of the day she was as limp as her dish rag. But all day long Cinderella was practicing the art of making beauty and harmony. She didn't carelessly wipe off the counter. She made hot water by gathering a bucket of water from the well and heating it over the fireplace. Then she used the hot water and soap to scrub the counter until it was gleaming. If there was a particle of food glued onto the counter surface she used her fingernail like a tool to scrape the dirt away even at the expense of fingernails broken and chipped. By the time Cinderella was done cleaning the kitchen counter little sparkles of light bounced off the shiny surface.

Cinderella infuses her chore with the energy of her desire to create beauty. Creating beauty is one expression of her personal strengths. A sparking clean home builds her self-esteem. Her efforts lead down a path of fulfillment and excitement; from drudgery to joy and from depression to elation. When Cinderella is dusting, mopping and scrubbing she isn't just cleaning she is creating serenity. She is engaging her personal vision. She is lost in the moment. She is absorbed in her desire to create beauty as a way of expressing love for her parents.

Operating from her personal strengths she is lost in a state of absorption and flow. Full and complete absorption in the moment, immersed in her desire to create tranquility, made time disappear. She is building positive emotions. She is working with intentionality. These are the ways she will care for her husband creating their home anew each day with her love.

By engaging her native strengths, blending her personal resources with environmental resources, for the sole purpose of creating positive outcomes; the apparent contradiction or the paradox of Cinderella's Deepest Desires begin to disappear. Cinderella enters the transcendent realm where all things are possible.

**The Third Key to Happiness: We are filled with native talents and resources that support our Deepest Desires. Apply them in daily life.**

# CHAPTER FIVE

**The Fourth Key to Happiness: Create a Proclamation that revolutionizes the inner and outer world to create health, beauty and prosperity for ourselves and others.**

Now we understand the importance of the Deepest Desires entwined with our personal strengths and resources it's time to design a Proclamation. First let words we associate with our goals and strengths spill out of our mind. Write them down! This is a word spill. I learned it in the fifth grade which was a long time ago in human experience but only a blink of the eye in the realm of Fairy. I've practiced with this tool. It has never let me down.

A word spill is letting our mind free. The words become a path or bridge connecting our dreams with the temporal world. These words will guide us through the Great Silence. They may heal us of depression. These are the words of success and positive change. This is the era of the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella has already spent countless years struggling and grieving. The Way of the Fairy Godmother studies the singular point in time for positive change and personal transformation.

Describe using as many words as possible, what success and happiness looks like across your unique vision for life. Let the words flow. Don't worry. Erase words you're not happy with _after_ the spill. I hope we all use the entire page. Our version of happiness and success may need more than one page. Here is an example of a word spill.

When I'm not writing books, I moonlight as a Happiness Coach. My Deepest Desire as a Happiness Coach is to teach people the tools and skills of creating harmony and beauty while simultaneously manifesting wishes and goals.

Key words are: manifesting, Deepest Desires, harmony, identification, beauty, practicality, tangible, transcendence, focus, congruence, creativity, dreams, wishes, goals, empowerment, truth, serenity, love, Golden Ladders, abundance, joy, laughter, prosperity, positive language, positivity, success......I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Writing a word spill choose vivid words. Be extravagant, be sparse, strong, delicate, opps, this is your word spill.

Select words infused with the important qualities of your Deepest Desires. Some teachers might advise: _If you 're Deepest Desires do not thrill and terrify you; go back and reexamine those desires._

All this comes with a caveat. Our Deepest Desires evolve. We may find ourselves on a different track. No problem. Take the example of the video gamer. He gets involved with court reporting. The law becomes a new passion. His Deepest Desire has evolved. He is immersed in the field of justice......

When I realized I wouldn't fill the air with sparkles as a dancer I evolved into what had been my secondary interest; psychology. It might seem a world away to you. For me, both worlds are about transformation and the spectrum of experiences encapsulated by life and death.

Before we become entangled in a war of words let me ask you two questions: Do you believe only life contains beauty? Do you believe only death causes grief and anguish? On each path I've encountered anguish and beauty. Writing The Way of the Fairy Godmother I am engaging beauty, not from the point of view of dance or yoga. I create beauty with words intertwined with the story of Cinderella's apprenticeship to the Fairy Godmother.

Writing words associated with the success and process of actualizing our dreams -- these words set our soul aflame. They ignite power. From this pool of words we carve out our Proclamation. We might, we will, be overwhelmed with the audacity it takes to live our dreams. Plans brought to life with words in our Proclamation ignite the Divine Transmuting Flame. Searing all that keeps us from becoming whole and complete, ready to live our dream. I know it sounds scary. It is scary. A Proclamation is the map to transform our life. From this cocoon of imagery we create our Proclamation.

A Proclamation is revolutionary. A concretization of the intentions of our authentic self it translates our dreams into a statement of intention. Every Proclamation is unique. They reflect our one-of-a-kind gifts and talents. The essence of who we are and who we want to become reflects in our Proclamation. Yep, it feels vulnerable.

The Fairy Godmother worked with the Prince to define his Proclamation. The key to the Prince's successful Proclamation was to meld his intention with attention. Or, to say it another way, the Proclamation merges desires, wishes, hopes and dreams with intended actions. It's the actions that will manifest our desires. The process of blending attention and intention is the path to creating Positive Possibilities. Synthesizing attention with intention is at the core of designing enduring happiness. Hold on! Did I mention the part about Cosmic Comedy and the circuitous path to enduring happiness?

Here is an example from my own life. A true story. It is a little sad and a little funny. In the midst of the circumstances leading up to my divorce I intensified my search for ways to encourage and cultivate calm. I was dismayed to find myself repeatedly hair-triggered into despair and infuriation. If you haven't been a menopausal woman it's really difficult to understand the full depth of fury....so this example is a little outside the box of our maiden - Cinderella and Old Wise One - the Fairy Godmother storyline, but here goes.

Remember, it was a friend going through a divorce that brought me to my first yoga class. She left after a few classes. It was the promise of peacefulness advertised with yoga that had me buying class package after class package, until I finally bought an annual pass. At yoga they played cool music. Classes took place in soft lighting. They were challenging and arduous which was exciting. The classes ended with suggestions, positive suggestions, for life. I really wanted to feel peace instead of my escalating distress. I wanted yoga to develop my muscles of tranquility. I thought if I could recapture my equanimity I could stay married.

My intention was to increase my composure. I gave my attention to the task by taking yoga. AKA twisting my body into shapes, where once we are sufficiently uncomfortable we consciously, volitionally, chose to be calm. Serenity in the midst of our body's convoluted posture? The theory is if we can be calm in the midst of stressful poses, when we encounter stress in ordinary life we'll have wired into our body calm and serenity. I desperately needed both.

For the yoga purist; yes the original purpose of yoga is to prepare the body for hours of seated meditation. But a modern day take on yoga is the tortured body, calm mind application.

As I said the product of blending intention with attention creates Positive Possibilities. Positive psychology theory hypothesizes; eventually Positive Possibilities snowball carrying us toward our aspirations. My quest for serenity with a yoga practice yielded the manifestation of Positive Possibilities. I lost weight. I became flexible. I had a growing sense of mastery in my abilities. Yoga became a focal point in my life. It was transformative.

Two things did not change. First, despite losing weight my back still hurt and my body ached. Secondly, worst of all, my hair-trigger despair and anger with my marriage might have become even worse. What was going on? Combining my attention with my intention was creating positive outcomes. I was excited by my new abilities. But I hadn't become peaceful.

This is the part where we see one of life's little cosmic jokes. Yes, we can agree attention and intention creates Positive Possibilities. Some were happy surprises. I hadn't expected to lose so much weight. I never thought I'd be able to do the splits again. But, let's get back to those pesky possibilities. Has anyone told you on the path to Positive Possibilities we can not predict the results of our attention and intentions synthesis? Nourishing intentions yields surprising, unexpected outcomes.

It's like planting a flower garden. We can not predict which seeds will germinate. A Higher Power chooses the color of the blossoms. Watering and weeding fulfills our intention to create a garden. Continue to marry attention (water and weeding) and intention (a beautiful garden) and savor the astonishing artistry of the intention and attention garden. Sounds good. Or in yoga speak, "it's all good."

My real life example, desperately hoping yoga would allow me to interact with serenity in my marriage was not turning out as I'd expected. Instead of leading me into a state of equanimity my garden was growing unexpected flowers. I was confused. The more I did yoga the less tolerance I had for the subtext of lies and deceit, the financial infidelity that characterized my marriage. I practiced yoga to find calm and capacity that would allow me to stay in my eroding union. Instead I felt more outraged. I kept asking myself, "Where is the composure I'm building?"

Even my husband asked, "I thought you were doing yoga to calm down?"

I didn't realize yoga encourages a state of truth within our body. Although retrospectively it seems self evident, I was unprepared for the reality; yoga embodies truth. Asana purifies muscles, bone, our CNS and organs. The image? Pour truth in, and if the container is dirty, then as the clear water of truth pours in the dirt moves out. After the dirt was out I found I couldn't tolerate the cheating. As a result of practicing yoga truth found a home in me. Painfully, these were not the calm truths I'd hoped for. The more I fed a yoga practice with my time and attention the more I was confronted with the intolerable and emotionally cataclysmic truths of my circumstances.

Although terrifying what germinated within me was the determination to disengage myself from the destructive illusions. These were the astonishing results born out my yoga practice. It wasn't the color, shape, or variety I'd expected. In all honesty it took me years to recover equanimity. The shattering was not just my marriage but the life we created. Rebuilding a life from scratch with a son entering his teens, I really cannot recommend it. It was the process for me of collecting equanimity in its true form. Are you ready for a revolution in your life?

Here is another facet of Deepest Desires. Maybe you've noticed in fairytales we seek out one journey, one goal at a time. It makes the story go more smoothly. One quest is easier to follow.

In real life we might have a bundle of quests. My quests this month? I finished the course work for my PhD in Positive Psychology. I re-activated my counseling license by taking a bundle of continuing education classes over the internet. I'm polishing this book. I'm trying to starve myself to lose weight I gained post back surgery. I have not been successful yet. (Is it better to have a diet that starves us in reality then indefinitely trying to starve ourselves?) More quests: I'm a Mom of a now 23 year old man. _How does that work_? I am a goldendoodle Mom dealing with his allergies that lead to licking his legs and feet raw; OCD style. I'm a wife. A new-found husband and no he isn't interchangeable. I worry my husband feels he's last on my list.

My point is, in the spirit of full disclosure, I'm writing this book from the point of view of a fairytale. Real life has multiple quests simultaneously. I'm sure I don't need to tell you it can get crazy.

But let's get back to the fairytale version. As difficult as writing a book is, writing a fairytale version of life is much simpler than living life. You've probably ascertained this from my snippet of a story. WHEW! NEXT!

Now is the time to transform magical imageries into Proclamations and the reality of a new future. This is where the magic of the Fairy Godmother stops and the grunt work of realizing dreams begin. The Fairy Godmother (imagery) is a catalyst for change, not the change itself. If we're ready for the ephemeral nature of our dreams to fall away and the reality of our dreams to take shape then its time to write out a Proclamation.

When people come to see me, not to grieve or understand the pains of the past, but specifically ready to court positive change I am continually surprised how difficult it is to nudge them forward and engage in writing Proclamations. Sometimes I write while they dictate. Sometimes I ask questions and they write down their answers. At the end, one way or another, they need to leave clear on their commitment should they pick up these threads to weave their future.

Sometimes they have the expectation I am a Fairy Godmother. They are seeking beauty and inspiration. They expect this gift to come wrapped up with a colorful bow and lots of sparkle. They anticipate hearing some lovely words of encouragement. They are prepared for immersing themselves in the unconditional acceptance and support of the Fairy Godmother (me.) Sometimes it seems lounging in the radiance and beneficence of the Fairy Godmother they are drunk on the beauty of their dreams.

A catalyst for change uses what resources are at hand. Clients are surprised when I take out my metaphoric bull horn and yell, "Wake up!" (No, I don't actually yell or use those exact words.) But I do try to kindly startle them. Startled, they sit up straighter. Suddenly I might not be the gentle creature they'd expected. I look a little (a lot) fierce. This is a sobering moment. This is where the rubber meets the road. I am ready to nudge them down the action filled freeway of creating Positive Possibilities. This will only happen when we take our dreams seriously. Firmly I lay down the most important question of the session. I want to warn them. "This is a pivotal moment" (thank you Dr. Phil.) "How will you take your dreams and convert them into real life? And are you prepared to do it _today_?"

Don't worry. My sessions don't always turn out like this. Yeah, they kind of do.... Clients look at me with dismay. What happened to the lovely, warm, patient and kind Fairy Godmother? I'm intractable. It is time to make it real. All of these dreams about Deepest Desires mean nothing, and this part is very real, no fairytale -- unless we can transform the dreams into tangible and substantial reality. The Proclamation moves us from the gossamer wings of the dream world to the dirty, gritty, daily grind of hard work, in the blink of an eye. And that is why the Proclamation is essential.

It is a map. A practical method for using our hard earned positive vocabulary to assist us in the concrete substantiation of our dreams. Use the visionary language generated from the word spill to create the Proclamation. The Proclamation encompasses how the attainment of our goals conveys value to us and others. It's a nuts and bolts description of our ambitions and their positive expressions. For example, I want to write a book about the technology the Fairy Godmother teaches her apprentices. In fairytale speak, "where might this technology dwell?" I believe some of the technology is found in the land of positive psychology and some in the fairytale itself. Who is the foremost apprentice to the Fairy Godmother? Yes! Cinderella...So my research will be to understand the Fairy Godmother's interactions with Cinderella, within the context of positive psychology.

Can you see? The Proclamation is the point in our journey to be literal. For example, in my quest I'll write one chapter about Deepest Desires, another chapter will describe personal strengths as our resources....

If you are like me and have the tendency to be a dreamer, than writing the Proclamation could be challenging. Even though it's literal don't confuse the Proclamation with the Golden Ladder. Climbing the Golden Ladder is the actual activity. Just as writing the chapter is different from organizing or outlining a chapter. Actions come after the Proclamation has been accepted as accurate. Is the Proclamation a complete statement of our Deepest Desires and who we wish to become? The Golden Ladder is a listing of the behaviors required to achieve our goals.

To summarize, create a Proclamation and be specific. In writing a letter to a friend you wouldn't send a jumble of letters tossed together as word salad. It'd be unreasonable to expect him or her to decipher the message amidst the chaos and jumble. Clarity and specificity create strong mental images.

The reason writing a Proclamation gets confusing is because our mind does not think in words. Our mind thinks in images. A Proclamation requires us to write literal words, which will translate in our mind into images. These images create a cascade of biological events. The clarity of our mental images is a significant factor in signaling to our body, mind and spirit that we are serious about living our dreams.

We use the power of positive language to describe how the attainment of our goals benefits us and others. The Proclamation outlines our intentions and commitments to these intentions. Our Proclamation informs the self where we will put our attention; time, energy and focus. It dissipates the misty veils of uncertainty and confusion. If I dream of being a doctor, my Proclamation will contain my aspiration of becoming a doctor _and_ the reason why medicine will be fulfilling. For example, a doctor might want to relieve suffering.

The final Proclamation is a coherent, integrated, affirmation of our commitment. Depth of understanding, commitment to goals, and dedication is reflected in the Proclamation. The Proclamation is the first step on the road to competency. While our Proclamations evolve over time, the Proclamation is the unwavering commitment to manifest our mental images into tangible form. With enough time, persistence and momentum Deepest Desires flower and grow, shaping our circumstances and destiny.

The Prince's Proclamation was sent out across the land. It inspired many. Single women dreamed of being chosen by the Prince to be his Queen. Others longed to find their own version of King and Queen. A Proclamation will stir up emotion, positive and negative. Once the Proclamation is complete our behaviors becomes inextricably tied to Deepest Desires, native talents, dignity and purposeful action.

The next steps, climbing the rungs of the Golden Ladder, these actions illuminate our life. As well as the lives of those who are affected by our conduct! The garden of life will bloom and flourish in abundant and unexpected ways.

I have wondered is this what the bible meant by the land named, The Garden of Eden? Could it be the Garden of Eden has always lived inside us waiting to be explored and discovered? Our Proclamation is transformed from mere words into the boundaries of the garden of our realized self.

**The Fourth Key to Happiness: Create a Proclamation revolutionizing the inner and outer world, while creating health, beauty, and prosperity for ourselves and others.**

# CHAPTER SIX

**The Fifth Key to Happiness: To create success; climb the rungs of the Golden Ladder and manifest Deepest Desires in the everyday world.**

The Fairy Godmother doesn't spend a lot of time in the material world. At this point in human history the corporeal world is filled with negativity and limitations. For her, it would be like entering a smog filled environment where pollution adheres to the skin dulling the radiance of her incontrovertible optimism and making it difficult to breathe.

Living well is difficult to accomplish in our time-urgent, task-oriented society. That said apprenticing ourselves to the Fairy Godmother facilitates happiness skills, some easily learned, that buffer us from daily stress.

So far, we've explored the skills of savoring the positive and beautiful already in place. When we claim and increase our awareness of beauty and harmony, then there is more beauty and harmony to notice.

Find and define Deepest Desires. They hold the seeds to our happiness. When we solidify our understanding of Deepest Desires positive psychology tells us we've begun to create optimism for the future. We discover inherent talents through the identification of our strengths.

Write a personal Proclamation. It will revolutionize lives. Don't forget to describe the ways manifesting goals will benefit us and others. While our Deepest Desires may evolve and change never give up striving to create them in tangible form. Climb the rungs of the Golden Ladder by committing to specific, tangible behaviors. This will create the Positive Possibilities bringing our dreams into reality.

The Fairy Godmother teaches the more we climb the rungs of our Golden Ladder; purposefully creating beauty, the more we can successfully buffer stress and replace the stress with feelings of joy.

What are Golden Ladders? They are the actions. Each action is represented by a rung. The Golden Ladder is a symbolic ladder, the images in our mind that identify the behaviors required to birth our dreams in reality. Through the rungs identifying actions, we have a map guiding us, as we translate dreams married to behaviors out into the world.

All actions have effects and consequences. This is the greatest truth underlying the rungs of Golden Ladder actions. When the tree fell in the forest, you bet it was heard. Every creature nearby was electrified by the tree falling. Some lost their homes. Others found new homes in the now-ground-level branches. The earth reached out and began eating the tree for lunch and dinners far into the future. The tree, digested by the earth, took on this new form.

Every action and even non-action has its effects. This understanding is at the heart of the teachings of the Fairy Godmother. Your positive act might be cooking your spouse's favorite dinner. The ways to create Golden Ladders encouraging success are infinite. Endless permutations of rungs reflect the unique qualities of each person. The bottom line? There is no way to avoid acts that generate the specifics of our lives. Golden Ladders with their countless varieties, focused with positive intentions, consciously integrate our dreams into daily life.

My suggestion: Choose ten behaviors -- actions -- that reflect your Deepest Desires and write them down. Ask yourself, "Do these actions correspond with my Deepest Desires?" Next assess whether these ten actions are behaviors you will commit to. A Golden Ladder defined by behaviors you find boring is a recipe for failure. The actions we pledge to enact tied to Deepest Desires must excite us.

There is a spontaneous reward living on the ladder. This is because we choose acts corresponding to our native talents and strengths. Living life on the rungs of the ladder reconfigures our self-esteem. The more we use our talents and strengths the bigger and stronger they grow. Life on a Golden Ladder grounded in Deepest Desires produces personal power. We feel a growing mastery and optimism for the future.

Let's have a look at Cinderella's Golden Ladder. She dreamed of her conversations with the Prince and practiced them in her mind. Visualizing their first meeting is giddy and exciting, and visualization creates a corresponding cascade of neuromuscular events. It prepares us at the energetic level for the actual happenstance.

Cinderella has so many questions she wants to ask. Years have passed since their childhood adventures. It creates a fluttering in her chest, a cross between excitement and dread. Will he look at her and see only the servant she has become?

Another task on her Golden Ladder is to repurpose the largest pumpkin in her garden transforming it into a carriage to take her to the ball. Repurposing our resources, to hold a higher vibration, is a thrill. It is also hard work, some would say drudgery. Cinderella's higher purpose? She is not hollowing out the pumpkin for the sake of hollowing. Her higher purpose is creating a carriage. While she labors, yes, it was back-breaking labor; she is driven by her higher purpose.

Cinderella has practice with drudgery. But the drudgery encased in this chore is exceptional. After hollowing and drying the interior pumpkin, she took out her paints and free-hand, drew beautiful designs on the interior and exterior of the pumpkin shell. She lost herself in the beauty. I have trouble finding the words for the ways we create art. While on the one hand we lose ourselves in the moment. On the other hand we are more vitally aware. We are hypersensitive to the still and wondrous voice within guiding our hand, at one with our mind and heart. When Cinderella came back to herself golden swirls were etched into the pumpkin surface creating depth and dimension.

In her meetings with the Fairy Godmother they talked of childhood memories. Special times at the castle, outings with her parents, they were a close family. Sometimes Cinderella felt them looking over her shoulder as she cleaned the house. Polishing the banister she saw fleeting shadows of light. Scrubbing the floor a gentle stirring of air flew across her shoulders. Sometimes walking into the house the fragrance of baking wafting down the hallway and was a greeting.

As the Fairy Godmother hoped Cinderella was reminded of the tools of polite conversation she'd learned in her childhood with a loving mother and father. These gifts live on in Cinderella. She practiced simple questions visioning her meeting with the Prince. When Cinderella arrived at the Ball she was composed and confident. Her preparatory imaging initiated her into self-esteem. Practice made it easy to talk with the Prince. She is interested in him. They share a history and a quest.

After his recognition and pleasure finding her at the ball Cinderella relaxed. There was so much to see and watch. Dancing, she'd practiced while doing her chores. Dancing was one of the actions, represented as a rung on her Golden Ladder. All the behaviors of the Golden Ladder were purposeful and fun for her. Make sure your version of Golden Ladder behaviors are as interesting and exciting as Cinderella's.

Because she was strong from housework and drudgery as Cinderella danced with the Prince she glided, floating across the floor. Her physical conditioning made it easy to carry a conversation while dancing. Yes, sometimes the very things we think of as our problems become advantages.

Cinderella is surprised to find out they share a teacher. The Fairy Godmother helped the Prince define his Deepest Desires. They shared stories. Cinderella told him about the time she had complained to the Fairy Godmother how someone (her step-mother) had tricked her. The Fairy Godmother told her, "When you're not trickable then you won't get tricked!" They laughed and shared more stories. Just like old times. By the end of the evening they were new-old-best-friends.

It is a simple truth: When we create and implement Golden Ladders of actions tied to Deepest Desires, dignity and purpose radiate outwardly beautifying life and embellishing the lives of all those who come into contact with our acts.

The Fairy Godmother whispers in my ear: "Never forget within every environment are resources that can be nurtured, expanded, reconfigured, or repurposed to create the rungs on the Golden Ladder leading to success and happiness."

A Proclamation of personal strategies and a Golden Ladder of intentional activity; both designed to make dreams come true, is a labor of love. The more we focus on positive and intentional activities the more rewarding and pleasant life becomes. Don't take my word for it. Try it and see.

The Way of the Fairy Godmother is all about aligning your Highest Good with your Deepest Desires. I know this sounds ethereal and ephemeral. Start talking to people about Deepest Desires and what life will look like when we achieve them......even the people who love us the most will look askance.

If we focus on climbing the rungs of our Golden Ladder of actions associated with Deepest Desires, people will look at us in a different way. They'll say, "Wow, she is really serious about this dream." People measure us by our behaviors and actions. Even spiritual power measures our commitment by actions. When we are deeply immersed in behaviors associated with our goals unseen hands may help.

Let me try Fairytale Speak to describe my Proclamation to write The Way of the Fairy Godmother. "Writing The Way of the Fairy Godmother fulfills a sacred promise I'd made to the forces which imbue flourishing. After sipping the grace of flourishing from the chalice of life it became my Deepest Desire to create tangible ways for others to prosper and savor their own version of grace. Writing constitutes climbing the rungs of my own Golden Ladder. To share the chalice of growth and grace climb Golden Ladders and manifest Deepest Desires."

**The Fifth Key to Happiness: To create success design Golden Ladders to manifest Deepest Desires in the everyday world.**

# CHAPTER SEVEN

**The Sixth Key to Happiness: Create a language that is positive and reflects Deepest Desires. Become conscious of the words we use to describe our goals, attitudes, moods, desires, behaviors and motivations. Become like the Fairy Godmother and speak only loving and positive words.**

I'll never forget the day my then seventeen year old son shook his head with dismay and said to me with great compassion, "Oh Mom. You are such a dreamer."

It was a time of the Great Silence in my life. Every effort I made to claim my dreams fizzled. Statistically, according to the bell curve, I could not have failed so frequently.

Researching positive psychology for my PhD I wondered, "What about outliers? Where is my tipping point?" Research theorizes a tipping point where our efforts synthesize into a totality tipping us into success. John Gottman, PhD former MIT mathematician analyzing the communication patterns in married couples notices a 3:1 tipping point of positive to negative in happily married couples.

To clarify; a tipping point creates a cascade of events, sweeping us into flourishing. I wondered why wasn't I being swept away into flourishing? One reason; I was caught in a larger societal cascade of events not seen since the Great Depression. Yet, even in bad times there are businesses that flourish and happy, successful people.

I was trapped in the Great Silence. In the periods of the Great Silence you might wonder as I did, despite all my training and former experiences of success, _is success a by product of luck_? _Is victory accessible only if I 'm in the right place at the right time? Did I lose happiness somewhere along the paths I've chosen_? As the Great Silence continued, I wondered, _do I need to reclaim and redefine happiness_?

In the Great Silence the questions are endless. Cinderella questioned whether she could ever be happy again. Grieving the deaths of her parents she was lost in her salty tears, hot and angry one day, and bitter and sour another. It took years of scrubbing floors, polishing the leather in the carriage, laundry, making fresh beds every other day, cooking, cleaning the kitchen, waxing the counters, repairing and mending. Her only solace; walks in the woods and tending the garden.

Hiking in the forest Cinderella finds the air is clear, and the woods are re-born everyday. Plants sparkle after spring rains. Budding trees over time fulfill themselves in full bloom. Pine trees share their fragrance in the pools of sunlight. Lizards scurry out of sight. Rocks hold pools of water one day and dry with dust and moss another. Blue sky against green leaves vibrating in the wind creates a shiver of pleasure in Cinderella.

Each spring and through the warm summer days Cinderella tends her mother's roses. She fills the house with overflowing vases stems top heavy with color and sweet scent. Even her stepmother welcomes the roses. Sometimes Cinderella mixes buds with branches she finds and collects from the forest floor.

By the time of our story she is free of her anger, the unremitting recriminations. She is past the salty sadness, moving into the questions filling the Great Silence. She wonders how does happiness translate across the diversity of so many individuals? Will she ever find happiness again? Is happiness itself a universal language she alone has forgotten how to speak? Why is happiness elusive for her and bountiful for others? Is happiness composed of elements she no longer recognizes? Is it the convergence of the right amounts, like a recipe for double fudge, chocolate brownies?

In the periods of the Great Silence there are no answers only unremitting questions surrounded by a feeling of doom. Some days Cinderella barely recognized the feeling. Other days it was a heavy mantle across her shoulders making every step she took feel like she was walking across the ocean floor bound in weights and chains. Sometimes she caught a whiff of elusive happiness. Creating beauty in her childhood home brought her solace, a cousin to happiness.

Father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, PhD describes three forces dovetailing synergistically to create happiness. In the introduction we talked about superficial happiness. Yep, it is still important. I have argued my point more than once with researchers who don't believe in superficial (aka materialism) happiness. I do believe in superficial happiness. I am excited each time the UPS man rings the doorbell with a package. Soft sweaters create a buffer of comfort when I'm stressed. The growl of our SHO when I hit the accelerator makes me smile. You get the idea.

I have taken my argument one step further. Our golden doodle, Aidan, loves when I buy him treats and toys. When he was three months old we purchased him a bed. Aidan levitated with happiness. He looked across the room at Bill making sure he caught his eye, to share his joy, and let loose the smelliest stream of pee. Yes, we had to throw the bed away.

A trip to the pet store to stock up on chews and toys creates a storm of happiness. I keep Aidan's toys in a stainless steel beverage holder designed for parties. If you could hear him clatter and paw through the container looking for fun and treats you'd know Aidan is committed to his superficial, material, pleasures. He too knows the sound of the UPS truck. And if he comes across toys I've hidden away for a rainy day, with as much stealth as possible, he carries them off.

Here is what positive psychology says about superficial pleasures; savor them. Watching the Fairy Godmother I realize she savors every interaction. She speaks a life enhancing vocabulary. This doesn't mean she avoid problems. Problems are still the subject of discussions. It means she puts attention and deliberate wording into the solutions. Have a problem for which there is no immediate solution? Set it aside. Focus where you can create a solution.

The biology of behavior tells us: What we think, say and do creates a cascade of neuromuscular events in our bodies and within our interactions. That means every time we speak, where we put our attention, effects us biochemically.

Some think only kind and helpful words pass through the Fairy Godmother's lips, and dwelling in a positive vocabulary is enjoyable. Yet authenticity requires more than sweetness. Authenticity is a requirement in a positive vocabulary. The Fairy Godmother uses specific language designed to effect positive change. This is the ultimate lesson: Whatever you choose to think and speak has effect and consequences for your biology. You choose.

For example, hang in there with me, the Fairy Godmother has a walk-in closet filled with ball gowns. Cinderella can choose any one of them to wear to the party. What were the words the Fairy Godmother used to offer the dress? It wasn't, "You really have to clean up before I can loan my dress to you."

The Fairy Godmother teaches using words to make a home within the mind, heart and soul for beauty to inhabit. The entire story of Cinderella is about creating beauty. Cinderella labors until her home is sparkling clean. Her gardens are organized and fruitful. She is ready for a higher order of beauty and the Fairy Godmother appears to teach her. Moving to the castle is to live in the highest aesthetic within the land.

So far the Fairy Godmother has taught Cinderella her happiness resides in her Deepest Desires. Putting time and attention on harmony and love creates more harmony and love. We are filled with resources and talents. Use them to create the life we want. And now create a language that supports our Deepest Desires.

Several years ago my interest was snagged reading books on successful business. What caught my attention was the singular language businesses developed within the organization that became a verbal short-hand filled with layers of information. One book was Blue Ocean strategies about transporting businesses beyond competition and into uncharted business markets. Companies like Google and Apple, known for their innovation, have also created their own technological language. Their specialized vocabulary allows them to understand layers of information represented in a single word. It is a short-cut, a code. It separates them from their competition defining the geography of their business territory.

This concept of power wording, employed by innovative companies to create a language defining their work culture and the product itself, will apply to our happiness and success. Who would have ever thought that the made-up word 'Google' could describe an entire investigative process and have such a prominent place in social history?

The original communication style of experimental and revolutionary companies generates a condensed understanding of a substantial amount of information with a single word. For example when I go to Starbucks I can say, "I'll have a skinny vanilla latte." Or if I didn't know the Starbucks lingo I would say, "I'll have nonfat steamed milk with two shots of cappuccino and with one shot of sugar free vanilla flavoring in the largest size cup you have available." Knowing the Starbucks language I can say six distinct and concise words to order my coffee. A non-participant in Starbucks language speaks twenty-seven words to purchase the same product. A skinny vanilla latte is much simpler to say.

Members of specific vocabulary clubs understand a substantial volume of information with fewer words. Sharing a language, a singular identity is formed, creating group cohesion. The cohesion and congruence of a large number of people working toward a specific goal substantially enhances the possibilities of success.

The Fairy Godmother understands the power of language to transport us from problems into solutions. She doesn't say to Cinderella, "We have to get you out of these terrible clothes. They're smelly and unattractive."

She understands Cinderella is trapped in a situation where the normal resources we take for granted in a home are unavailable to her. The Fairy Godmother might suggest Cinderella prepares for the ball at her house. Saying, for example, "You are going to feel revitalized after a soak in my tub. I have fossilized bath salts from the Himalayan mountains home of the Shambhala. Some say Shambhala is a mythical kingdom, the resting place of the world's greatest warriors. The salts dissolved into the bath waters will give you courage. Clean and fresh you'll be surrounded with health and vitality."

I don't know the exact words of their conversation but I do know the Fairy Godmother understands the power of words to shape our identity. The power of words as they relate to Deepest Desires is an important element in the transformation of our dreams into reality. Here is the question we ask ourselves: Can we build the strength of character to support the power of words used for good in our lives?

Time spent in the structure of positive language resources Cinderella. Within the wealth of words the Fairy Godmother spoke to Cinderella her life affirming suggestions are designed to mobilize Cinderella's personal resources and lift her spirits. It was from this life enhancing perspective the Fairy Godmother worked her magic. Cinderella's commitment to this vocabulary is a courageous act of power.

Experiment. Try speaking only from the Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence. It feels vulnerable, exposed, yet essential. This engagement takes us past our negative conditioning. Societal pressures to conform fall away. We navigate around the projections of others.

When Cinderella shifts her consciousness into a positive vocabulary it creates a corresponding shift in the living, breathing truth of life as a beneficent and beneficial force. In this way, through language, the Fairy Godmother ignites the flame of transmutation in Cinderella. Language, this seemingly simple change is powerful stuff.

When we cultivate a positive language, personal to our goals and ambitions, our language will lift our spirits and magnetize personal happiness. Language interfaces in our brain with images, symbols that reflect our Deepest Desires. Words draw the images into our biochemistry. The images and corresponding biochemistry will move our life from the ordinary into the extraordinary.

A positive vocabulary starts with a word spill of qualities associated with the specific happiness and success we're seeking. Be inventive, precise and creative. Owning and utilizing a personal happiness language will become a neuromuscular short-cut within our bodies to understanding the multiple layers of our Deepest Desires and motivations. We biochemically move forward, toward success and happiness.

In order to achieve the results accomplished by Cinderella apprentice to the Fairy Godmother's perspective of positive psychology. Speak only from the hopeful and optimistic vocabulary of the Fairy Godmother.

**The Sixth Key to Happiness: Create a positive language reflecting our Deepest Desires. Become conscious of the words we use to describe our goals, attitudes, moods, desires, behaviors, and motivations. Become like the Fairy Godmother and speak only positive words.**

# CHAPTER EIGHT

If words create symbols; mental images we input into the computer of selfhood create a corresponding cascade of emotion, thoughts, beliefs, hormones; neurotransmitters and a wide variety of other physical and emotional reactions. WHEW! Let's simplify. What are the images in the Cinderella fairytale?

First, we see the solitary image of Cinderella scrubbing a vast island of floor, her hair falling into her eyes, her back bowed under the strain of her efforts. All her features, her body language, tell us she has been scrubbing for a long time with more to come.

The Fairy Godmother's appearance is in stark contrast to Cinderella. She sparkles with star-shine. She carries the tools of her trade, a magic wand, filled with the radiance of a million stars, designed to amplify and focus her power. One dip of the wand at the floor has it shining clean.

More images are the pumpkin transformed into a carriage. Rats and mice transformed into horses and coachman. These images remind us to look for resources available in our environment we can re-purpose. Creative utilization of resources reflects our resiliency and resourcefulness. Qualities we need to succeed in any quest.

The Prince symbolizes a good man, taking seriously the most important quest of his life, finding his life partner and wife. He is not the kind of man who will get drunk, steal money or encourage Cinderella to buy on credit cards luxuries she cannot afford. The Prince will not abandon his wife. He will not strand her to manage a life built for two all by herself. He will not gamble away their child's college fund. The Prince symbolizes the trustworthy man.

Cinderella's beautiful ball gown symbolizes her personal growth reaching the point where her outward clothing matches her pure nature. She is no longer a young girl struggling with self-esteem. She is claiming her identity as a woman. Her character is the match of her beautiful clothing. It is the combination, the congruency of inward integrity with outward poise and beautiful clothing that is attractive to the Prince.

I invite you to begin to understand the powerful effect of the symbols we absorb, create and project. This terrain is mapped out with words. They are embedded with a corresponding visual picture. Images carry specific energetic resonance. Every single molecule of our existence is affected by the mental images we create. Each image washes through all that we are. Holy Cow!

The implications are enormous. The effect of images we create can be positive and productive or depressing and destructive. A life filled with visions of failures is preparing us at the cellular level for more failure. I'm not going to burden us with a further description of the erosive effects of negativity.

Let's observe the flip side, positivity. What does well-being look like? People who feel happy, positive and well-adjusted stand tall. Feeling positive we are more likely to smile, make eye contact and we are better listeners. There is research suggesting when we smile our central nervous system is awash with a smile's positive effects. Positivity has been proven to increase health, longevity, and reduce the course of illness. Positivity's attributes make us more creative and resilient. Creativity and resilience in turn facilitates a smoother ride on the bumpy road of life.

Engaged in thoughts, feelings, memories, vocabulary, hopes, motivations, desires, we are continually creating images. An energetic imprint lives in our body that matches the image. After millions of images have layered into our body-mind-spirit we find the corresponding attitudes and behavior expressive of the cumulative effect of every image we construct.

You've probably heard of the lemon example in raising your consciousness about the power of words as symbols. A lemon is an evocative tool to illustrate the power of the mind's images and their effect on the body. Visualize a lemon. See the outside rind of the lemon and its bumpy texture. See the yellow color of the outside skin of the lemon. Feel the oil that rubs off the lemon as you hold it in your hand. Now imagine peeling the lemon. Visualize the pulpy inside texture of the outer layer. Imagine the segments with drops of lemon juice clinging to the thin membrane of skin that separates the fruit and juice of this lemon.

If I continue to describe the lemon's color, shape, odor and texture, in a short time your mouth will begin to salivate and pucker as you envision this lemon. Our body responds to the pictures our mind is making. The body responds even when there is no physical lemon present. This is a small example, a reflection of how our body reacts to visions and thoughts, memories and dreams we create in the mind. The human body responds to _every_ mental picture and thought we manufacture; a sobering realization. We create experiences on the mental and visual level continuously with concomitant physical reactions throughout the body. We are each the living experiment of our life.

Practice working with images and watch the effects. Before beginning visualization consider this cautionary tale: Early in my career as a marriage and family therapist I worked in a chemical dependency hospital. One of my duties was to present lectures to the patients and staff. One of my lectures contained the lemon example and information I've given here.

At the end of the lecture I had each person focus their minds on a positive image and make an energy ball. This experiment takes place by simultaneously fixing our concentration on both the positive image and the energy ball.

This exercise is harder than it sounds. To create the energy ball you are called upon to do something weird. Each participant is asked to claw the air while holding concentration on the positive image. When the energy ball is formed then we pull it toward our heart or solar plexus. It's an invisible but tangible experience. You can feel the stickiness of the energy attached to the positive image. It can have a dramatic effect.

One day there was a new patient, a particularly grumpy man watching me with, the yellowish eyes of liver disease, and contempt. He labeled my presentation "hogwash." I encouraged him give the exercise a try. I gave the recommendation that I'm giving here: Concentrate on a positive quality. The curmudgeon decided to prove to himself that I was wrong. He focused on a negative image. Creating the energy ball, he pulled the negativity into himself in the stomach.

All around the room people were exclaiming this was an amazing experience. Spirits were high -- except for this particular man. After receiving the energy ball he staggered and sat down. His face went white. I was afraid when I saw his body crumple in the chair. In a shaken voice he explained his negative experiment. We can learn from his experience. Let's prepare ourselves for happiness biochemically with the development of our positive images.

It's exciting creating a symbol that reflects the achievement of our ambitions. A neurological short cut, symbols penetrate all the aspects of self. WHOA! Wait a minute. Did you catch this information? The power of symbols is their ability to simultaneously inter-penetrate all the levels of our existence. When philosophy tells us we are each our own universe we really are!

Here is my vision of the Fairy Godmother as my personal symbol. She is a magical being who visits our physical world. Her real home is in the energetically refined realm of the fairies. When I imagine the Fairy Godmother I see her glowing with radiance, so clear and vibrant, it looks like star shine. Her dress -- made from the silk of fairy dust spun together into living, oscillating threads of light -- shimmers like the threads of a spider web glistening with the diamonds of a summer day's rain. When she speaks sparks of ever-changing colors pop around her and the air vibrates with irrevocable happiness. The Fairy Godmother's joy is eternal, so unqualified and enduring nothing can disturb her radiance.

In the fairy realm, nature explodes with prosperity. The entire population and the Fairy Godmother are aligned with The Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence. Personal authority fuels her choices born out of her Deepest Desires to cultivate harmony and love. She is at one with her sovereign nature. She is at one with the totality of her authentic self.

Just to look at the Fairy Godmother lifts my spirits and makes me hungry for more of her radiance. I want more of the ferocious peace and kindness emanating from her. I want more of the hope and graciousness that flows through and around her. When I draw my image of the Fairy Godmother into my heart I experience an entirely new kind of contentment.

I know some people will read this, laugh, and ask, "What has she been smoking?" Sharing the tools of the Fairy Godmother is vulnerable. Despite being grounded in the biology of behavior, exposing the undergarments of a mythic symbol is fraught with tension.

I am a happiness coach sometimes plagued by anxiety. The Fairy Godmother is good, antidote, medicine. I am enchanted. My Fairy Godmother overflows with the sacred. I am forever changed, captured in her eternal affirmation of life unfolding. Standing in her radiance, an explosion of life, I am calm and soothed. I realize there is more to the Fairy Godmother than I can fully comprehend. Part of her existence dwells in the Great Mystery. I only have a small peak into the world of the Fairy Godmother. Even so after an encounter I return to my ordinary life prepared to deal with challenges.

What would be different if everyday I call upon the Fairy Godmother?

A symbol can speak to the mind, carrying information. For example, a woman wearing a diamond ring on the fourth finger of her left hand signals that she is engaged to be married. The diamond ring carries the symbolic information without the necessity of having a conversation to access this information.

A symbol can touch an atavistic chord of memory crossing the boundaries of time and space. The sighting of the American flag can evoke intergenerational memories of America's continuing struggle for equality, independence and peace.

Symbols create brand recognition for a product or service. They are an effective, efficient way to express a multitude of information. Incorporate your symbol into reality as a logo for stationary or business cards. They are a shortcut to interacting. Filled with multiple layers of information they represent desires and goals. Fill your symbol with as much life and light as it can hold, a spiritual radiance that dazzles you, filled with so much energy it takes your breath away.

Practice visualizing with your symbol. You may be graced with a new idea, or the solution to a difficult problem may pop into your mind. Journeying with symbols can provide moments of grace that lift us from the ordinary and mundane into to the extraordinary. A mythic symbol is a vehicle transporting the conscious mind from the ordinary into the sacred realm where all things good are possible. The ability symbols have to penetrate all levels of consciousness is a powerful generator that can precipitate congruency and then success.

So spend time cultivating the language, associated images, that correspond to happiness and ambitions. Happiness will have a biochemical, neuromuscular, hormonal, emotional and spiritual basis paving the way for more literal happiness. This is the magic and mystery of the Fairy Godmother brought into everyday life. If you have trouble thinking of a symbol, borrow mine. Use the image of the Fairy Godmother.

# CHAPTER NINE

**The Seventh Key to Happiness: Never give up. Persistence brings our Deepest Desires into tangible forms.**

Intrinsically, The Way of Fairy Godmother is congruent. She invites us to be consistent throughout motivations and ambitions, words, thoughts, behaviors, interactions, the clothes we wear, the world we inhabit and our ineffable spirit. Every dimension in The Way of the Fairy Godmother reflects congruency. _Congruency is the foundation of enduring happiness._

The Fairy Godmother is a unique person--one of a kind--and she lives her potential without limitation. Ironically what makes the Fairy Godmother special is not that she is one of a kind. We are each one of a kind. We are each unique and precious. What makes the Fairy Godmother special? She lives her potential without limitation. This is the gift of the Fairy Godmother. When we live our potential beyond limitations we interface with the supernatural beneficence of life.

I'm not intending to say living dreams and visualizing a life filled with positive results will provide us with a star filled magic wand to manifest magical events. Although truthfully, sometimes, I believe this is a possibility. For the purposes of this book, I'm intending to say when we're able to transform a challenging lifestyle shifting away from anxiety, toward a challenging life filled with positive aspirations; seemingly magical events occur to facilitate our journey. Some of them we don't even notice.

From a human perspective it seems remarkable the Fairy Godmother has no limitations in being herself. She makes it seem easy to live dreams, wishes and aspirations. The Fairy Godmother is not distracted by imposing her influence on others. She is not impeded by judgments or criticisms from family, friends or lovers. The Fairy Godmother is entirely free to be herself and to be all that she can be. She has no fear of failure.

From the Fairy Godmother's perspective we can re-evaluate how to live. Is it possible the more we live in the paradigm of the Fairy Godmother the more the invisible hands of life open doors? Comparing the paradigm of the Fairy Godmother to contemporary life, our modern view takes place through the lens of the disease model. In short this means we are chronically looking to fix what is broken. Living in the disease model our future is at the mercy of our past.

What do I mean by this? In the cause-effect modality of the disease model our history is causal, predicting our future. For example, you are unhappy because you had a painful childhood. Add in fear and the scarcity consciousness telling us there is not enough money, not enough time, not enough profits, food, water, or help. From this point of view life becomes pretty scary. There is a place for causality and the theories of scarcity but imposing them where they don't belong creates limiting beliefs and fear.

Scarcity terrifies and fuels us. Is it any wonder ruthless, conniving, manipulative behaviors are the foundation of this form of interaction? This world view may be effective for solving a short term crisis or for building profit and creating a competitive edge but it has little to do with building positive emotions and positive interactions or creating enduring happiness. And that's the bottom line.

A shift in attention away from scarcity and toward developing our personal strengths is the antidote to scarcity consciousness. Remember the second key to happiness: Focusing on harmony, health and success will bring more harmony, health and success _._

The Fairy Godmother did not analyze Cinderella. She did not identify Cinderella with a pathological label from the diagnostic manual only insurance companies, and a very few people, can understand. In the causality model these diagnoses become our new symbols. Like clothes we wear, we also wear our diagnosis. The Fairy Godmother did not run tests or consult with her colleagues to explore treatment options. These approaches have value and their necessary place in life. But maybe less often then when they are applied.

If we aren't struggling with mental illness the approach of the Fairy Godmother to develop strengths, skills that will translate into making our life increasingly functional are a viable option. The Fairy Godmother refused to view Cinderella as "sick" or "diseased" or "weak." She perceived Cinderella with all the strengths she needed to change. She saw Cinderella ready to make positive choices for her future. It was from this place of perception the Fairy Godmother began her work. She poured her vision of Cinderella as the Queen she dream of being into the gap between where Cinderella stood in the present and where she dreamed of standing in the future.

Cinderella needed permission to accept herself for who she was--sweet, loving and kind. From this point of self-acceptance the Fairy Godmother invited Cinderella to build upon her strengths while interacting with her dreams. The third key to happiness: We are filled with native talents and resources that support our Deepest Desires. Learn to use them in daily life.

The Fairy Godmother guides each of us to evaluate who we are by exploring our hopes and dreams. The disease model does not take into account the power of loving relationships and their ability to transform our life. The disease model does not factor in our temperament, character, talents, choices, and (dare I say it?) personal responsibility. The disease model functions well for disease. For ordinary life looking through the lens of disease we only see......disease.

The Fairy Godmother engages the skills of happiness and living well. Her expertise is teaching love; giving and receiving love. She utilizes listening skills developed to discern Deepest Desires. She communicates from the heartfelt recognition of her own individuality, her understanding of the uniqueness of each and every person. She knows, outside the parameters of disease and sometimes within the parameters of disease, we have the power to become happy and fulfilled.

Here is my favorite part. The Fairy Godmother knows in the realm of the maiden; happiness and beauty is intertwined. (Now I know there are other kinds of beauty that do not encompass happiness. There are scary beauties, painful beauties, beauty in death. But for the purpose of our conversation in Cinderella's version of the Fairy Godmother we are speaking of the various beauties that dwell in happiness and vice versa. So don't write me emails about the many faces of beauty, please.)

Let's start again. Happiness lives in beauty and beauty lives in happiness. This is not the beauty we pick up in a bottle of shampoo. It's not the beauty of dieting down ten pounds below our perfect weight. The Fairy Godmother's beauty is not the attractiveness of chic clothing and perfectly applied makeup, or a magnificent tattoo. The Fairy Godmother's revelation of beauty is a by product of her skills of living well, in integrity with her highest and Deepest Desires.

The Fairy Godmother can not survive in the world of the disease model. This is not debatable. She is not caught up in task oriented, time urgent, driven by ambitions, lifestyle that creates frazzled, stressed, and grumpy people. The Fairy Godmother inspires and promotes optimism. She is not superficially happy. The Fairy Godmother is congruently and supremely happy. This is unshakable, enduring happiness.

Do you wonder why the Fairy Godmother visits Cinderella in the first place? Maybe you have lived through terrible times and are wondering why the Fairy Godmother has not shown up on your doorstep. In my recent period of the Great Silence, I wondered.

First, most importantly, think of all the years Cinderella struggled without the help of the Fairy Godmother. Just as Cinderella did, and we all have, you might be living the years of the Great Silence. Cinderella lived years trapped in the Great Silence before the appearance of the Fairy Godmother.

The Fairytale begins when the Fairy Godmother makes her entrance. We can't make an appointment with the Fairy Godmother. We can only cultivate an environment harmonious to the Fairy Godmother as our invitation. Beauty is a good invitation for a visit from the Fairy Godmother. Cultivating an environment harmonious to the Fairy Godmother might be the first steps we talk on the path to happiness. Our first steps to living the magic of success only the Fairy Godmother can dispense.

If you're wondering, there are reasons the Fairy Godmother is able to make contact with Cinderella. All day long Cinderella thinks about creating beauty. She resonates at the frequency of beauty. Yep, we all vibrate at specific rates giving off "vibes." The Fairy Godmother is magnetized to Cinderella through her virtue developed by never giving up on beauty. Another reason: Sweetness is the foundation of Cinderella's nature. Despite being treated cruelly she did not become violent or hostile toward her treacherous stepmother and stepsisters. Cinderella retained her capacity to love. She persistently loved.

When the Fairy Godmother showed up Cinderella was vulnerable and humble enough to be awed, transported to a state of wonder in the Fairy Godmother's presence.

When we have lost contact with our unique and precious self are sometimes so despondent the Fairy Godmother shows up and we do not have the eyes to see her. Jaded, some look at the Fairy Godmother and tell her to get lost. Or the Fairy Godmother shows up in different forms. She wears the face of our friends, a grandparent, or even illness.

We can achieve happiness and peace of mind. The journey involves the marriage of our Deepest Desires ingrained into the fabric of our lives expressed in our behaviors and by never giving up. We share a universal goal taking infinite forms. We seek enduring happiness. We need positive congruency, definition and action to manifest the happiness we seek.

The higher math of happiness includes congruence and happiness. Both are a result of Deepest Desires plus actions and never forget persistence. Look at Cinderella's determination. Everyday she cleaned and ran endless errands for her stepmother and stepsisters. While she was bent over in fatigue she dreamed of her life as a Queen; loving and being loved.

If her determination, reflected in her actions, had not infiltrated her behavior she'd still be dreaming and cleaning. At some point we all have to ask the question: Am I ready to fulfill my dreams with their corresponding behaviors? If you daydream about happiness but fail to design a Proclamation or fail to climb the rungs of the corresponding Golden Ladder's actions, the dreams will remain in the misty realm of the dream world.

The substance of creation permeates every molecule, that's every molecule! How do I know? We re-create our body's everyday with the foods we eat. Want to see a life re-created? Follow a woman on a successful diet. (Yes, this is a theme in my life. Don't forget I'm not the Fairy Godmother. I'm not a mythic figure. I'm filled with fragilities and flaws that make me human.)

In the world of the Fairy Godmother can you imagine an infinite abundance of the molecules creating reality? Scarcity does not exist in this model. Theoretically we can and do draw from infinite abundance any time and for any reason to create our realities. That's right we already do it everyday. We are mostly unaware. Want enlightenment? Live Deepest Desires. Along the way we become enlightened. Our Deepest Desires reveal our strengths and our weaknesses, opportunities to grow and heal.

What do we get from engaging strengths? Mastery, self-mastery. And so it goes, onto the next idea, formed out of the infinite stuff of creation. This is the reality of the Fairy Godmother's world: Infinite abundance of the stuff of creation intersperses all that is in form as well as the formless.

Some will need to ask the questions: Is it possible? Can we accumulate wealth without being ruthless, cold and calculating? Could wealth and abundance be congruent with love? Is it possible to make a profit without making enemies? Can we be successful and happy at the same time?

Honestly I don't know all the answers. I'm writing The Way of the Fairy Godmother to fulfill a sacred promise and to more deeply ingrain the perspective of the Fairy Godmother as part of my commitment to personal growth. Staying grounded in the ways of the Fairy Godmother I'm certain we can live seemingly paradoxical dualities. The task becomes: how do we stay anchored in the ways of the Fairy Godmother?

Can we be successful and happy? Can we have wealth and humility? Can we have love and live our dreams? My answer to these questions is an unequivocal yes. Let's not give up. Together we'll live our dreams and have our next conversation from the land of unlimited well-being. Through persistence, we'll find wholeness. Mingling climbing the Golden Ladder mixed with positive language and Deepest Desires, the Fairy Godmother urges us to find, renew, and release our greatness from within.

When we identify our strengths and live them, with this simple shift we become involved in a loop of interaction, a beneficial and beneficent interaction with the world. Communing with Positive Possibilities, the product of living our strengths, we have a taste of the infinite.

**The Seventh Key to Happiness: Never give up. Persistence brings our Deepest Desires into form.**

# CHAPTER TEN

When I adopted the image of the Fairy Godmother I searched my memory for recollections of what I knew of the fairy world and the Fairy Godmother specifically. The Fairy Godmother has magical powers....but how did she learn to be a Fairy Godmother? Is there a school Fairy Godmothers attend?

Where do her powers come from? Who was she before she became the Fairy Godmother? Did she apprentice to transform herself into this iconic figure? Was she born hereditary mastery into the role? Where does she live? What does her home look like? Who was her mother? Her father? What does she do when she is not involved in tasks specific to her role as the Fairy Godmother? I knew virtually nothing about her. How can we know so little about a culturally iconic figure?

I tried reading up on the Fairy Godmother. Really there isn't much information. How would I learn about her?

In my twenties and thirties I practiced the tools mysticism, alternative healing, divination, meditations, and shamanism simultaneously. Yes, it was overwhelming.

I'd been traditionally educated as a therapist. I went through the internships and became licensed. I don't tell many people this but after I graduated with my masters in counseling, I had great tools to unearth pain and very few tools to heal or calm and self comfort. I had a mythic sized break down confronted with the pains of my past. I needed mythic sized tools. I stumbled and searched out the tools of mysticism and healing because I was living an emergency. I had to find and implement ways to heal the pain of my past. My life depended on it. Thirty years later I had some meditative tools. I decided to utilize them and search out more information about the Fairy Godmother.

I would use all of these skills collected from the landscape of my efforts to understand the Fairy Godmother's version of flourishing. I would use visualization, dreaming and synchronicity. I'd study her interactions with Cinderella to find the keys of happiness. If you search out the Fairy Godmother she may look different than what I found. I send you many blessings on your journey...

Honestly, I'm not certain, specifically, how I came to understand the Fairy Godmother. I meditated; I imagined the Fairy Godmother's aura and used it in meditation and some as an experiment in yoga. I did creative visualization and had inner dialogues. I created focal points of beauty related to the Fairy Godmother....Sometimes we draw information from the Great Mystery. Here is what I've found: The Fairy Realm is far more transparent and fragile than the human world. It is a world separate from human life. However there are crossover points in geography or time between the two worlds. I've discovered the best way to access the realm of fairy is through creating beauty. Making acts of beauty magnetizes the beauty of the Fairy Realm and the two worlds are drawn together.

In addition to acts of beauty qualities like compassion, integrity, truth, faith, graciousness, genuine personal transparency, harmony, joy and laughter can create crossover points -- a bridge -- to the home of the Fairy Godmother. We can also meditate, pray or visualize an encounter with the Fairy Godmother. It was a mystical event when the Fairy Godmother appeared in Cinderella's garden.

In the beginning I wondered what would the aura, the personal radiance of the Fairy Godmother feel like? I began visualizing myself surrounded in the Fairy Godmother's blissful vibration. Within the glow of the Fairy Godmother I felt whole -- substantial yet light as a feather. I started looking at situations the way I imagined the Fairy Godmother might perceive them. I practiced her incontrovertible positive nature as my financial and physical life began to fall apart. When I stay within the positive character of the Fairy Godmother I feel better. I was more serene. It doesn't matter to me if the Fairy Godmother is "real." Living within the mood and possibilities of the Fairy Godmother makes me feel better. Feeling better is real enough for me.

This is the nature of the spiritual world -- it's often invisible. Many people decide, based on invisibility, spirituality has no value or meaning. This of course is nonsense. There is much in life both real and invisible. The wind, electricity, the internet! And what is this computer cloud where everyone hides their secrets?

You, the reader of The Way of the Fairy Godmother, right now you are invisible to me as I type this book at my computer. And yet I am conversing with you. I feel your presence looking over my shoulder. We are not sitting face to face. I cannot touch you. I don't know the color of your hair or eyes. You are invisible to me. But I know you exist. We share writing this book (every reader re-writes the book.) Yet we don't even share the same time. You exist in another time and place in the future. (Pretty cool, right?)

Confronted with visible and invisible, matter and spirit, we choose. Will we live in limiting beliefs? Will we be defined by the literal and our circumstances? Will we be defined by our past? Our work, our education, our jewelry or clothes? Will we be defined by our intellect, degrees and education? All of these aspects of self are valuable and make up a portion of our totality. But we are more then what we see, feel and touch.

All of us including the world we live in exist beyond time and space interfacing within the Great Mystery. We can deny the Mystery. We can deny the Sacred. Choose.

Will we interpenetrate the unseen dimensions of joy? Will we be solely defined by the tangible? Will we allow ourselves to be touched by the Fairy Godmother's incontrovertible positivity?

All this leads me to more questions. Do you have a set of practices and traditions that nurture your spirit? Do you set aside time for the spontaneous, the inexplicable and the sacred? When was the last time you experienced reverie -- just letting your mind wander where your spirit pulls you? Do you ever just breathe? Do you take in the colors of the sky at twilight? How often do you practice the most dramatic and quickly effective spiritual practice, a cleansing breath?

I'm not talking about fancy convoluted breathing where you cover one nostril with your ring finger. Breathe up one side of the body and down the other side, quickly shifting your fingers over to the other nostril on the downside of the breath. I get aggravated just thinking about these breathing machinations. I'm talking about just noticing your breath. A cleansing breath is like pushing the re-do button. It helps you let go of the past and prepare for the future.

Try noticing the path of your breath as you inhale and exhale. Don't change anything. Just notice the path of your breath with conscious volition. This is instantly calming. Having a day where your heart is broken? You don't have to fix it. Breathe through and around the wreckage. Let's face it we're human and life is messy. Our task is to find meaning and joy amidst and beyond the difficulties. A cleansing breath allows us to pick up the pieces. Begin again. There is a lot of power in starting over.

The Fairy Godmother and I share an essential value. If what we are doing, in the world, or in our spiritual practices, is not effective, purposeful, providing meaning, if it isn't relevant or doesn't have inherent value, why are we doing it? I have a friend who says, "If it doesn't grow corn, forget it."

I'm interested in a life where spiritual acts talk to practical acts. A world where words and images speaking to behaviors, all inter-communicating congruently- produces results both Spiritual and mundane. Try wiring in the spiritual with everyday tasks and chores. For instance when I practice yoga I set an intention. I have a prayer, and I let my body and the movements carry my prayer. When I'm cleaning the house I imagine a spiritual vortex of Divine Essence washing down through me and my home. I see the whirlwind of Divine Light carry away all of the debris. I ask an aura of Divine Love and Protection to permeate and fill the void. Find your ways to invite the Divine into your goals and ambitions.

Making a place for the sacred invites serendipity flowing along the edges of our mission to enter bringing us a piece of unanticipated good fortune. Serendipity might show up as an accident or a fluke. It could be a happy coincidence. Serendipity is a regular phenomenon in scientific research that gets very little press. Think the discovery of penicillin.

Traditionally when seeking connection with the Sacred, the creator the universe, we say a prayer. Prayer can be a petition for help. Prayer can be a sacred promise. So often I find prayer comforting. Recently dwindling money led me into a panic attack right before sleep. Because of my auto-immune issues, separate from occasional anxiety (!), getting rest is essential. I can't really explain what happens to me with fatigue. It feels like the heat leaves my body, especially around my core. It feels like what I imagine altitude sickness might feel, making for a miserable day and night. So when I had the panic attack around midnight I freaked out a little.

My prayer was filled with intensity and dread when a weight on my shoulder and side gently pressed me down. The weight not just a comfort, it also created warmth. Was it the weight of an angel I felt guide me into sleep and beyond, soothing my panic and fears?

Prayer reduces stress. Prayer buffers the strains of daily life. Prayer intertwined with Deepest Desires is a form of reverence. It's a spiritual connection, a phone line, a direct communication to the Great Spirit. Prayer has been around for a long time. Try it. Create a prayer from your Deepest Desires, a prayer to whatever face the Sacred wears for you. Invite the Great Mystery into your dreams, aspirations and goals. Concretize, write out, your prayer. Describe your hopes. List your fears. Confess. Ask for help. Petition for freedom from obstacles and ask the Divine to permeate the Deepest of your Desires.

Many books have been written about the power of prayer. I can only add that prayer is an indispensible part of my days and nights. Prayer has added dimensions to my life that I can not do without. Prayer is a place I go for solace when I'm frazzled and nothing can calm me. I regain my center and my serenity through prayer. Collaborating with the Fairy Godmother is a form of prayer I've found healing.

Experiment with prayer. Invite the Divine into your life. Make room for the miraculous. Consciously ask the Great Spirit to guide, direct and protect you. It is the nature of evolution and the Divine to continually transcend itself. When we commit to manifesting Deepest Desires, in a way that benefits us and the world, we hook into Divine Evolution. This is the beginning of the process called ascension. All that we are encompasses the mundane and the sublime. When we can hold within our heart and spirit both the mundane and the Divine, and when the mundane and the Divine are integrated into the fabric of our life, we have resolved the paradox of duality. The energetic vibration within and around us is raised. People will want to catch a little of the glow we emanate.

# CHAPTER ELEVEN

**The Eighth Key to Happiness: In order to transform our dreams into reality we release all that sabotages our efforts to claim our dreams in the everyday world.**

Our essential self does not care how much time or work it takes to bring our dreams into reality-- one year, ten years, or a lifetime. Time and timelessness are identical to the essential self. Purpose and meaning; engaging life with positive purpose, this is at the heart of the teachings of the Fairy Godmother, and the metaphoric heart of the essential self. To find purpose we need to release distractions, addictions, melodrama.

Look at Cinderella's fate before she had the crucial interaction with the Fairy Godmother that changed the course of her life. Cinderella spent years in the Great Silence sweeping, dusting, scrubbing, sewing, running errands and carrying water. Her bleak days are filled with endless back-breaking labor and she suffered a primitive emotional isolation. Unless there was a chore to perform Cinderella remained invisible to all but the mice and rats. Even in the Great Silence Cinderella is resourceful. She finds cleaning her home keeps her parent's memory alive. Nature becomes her best friend. And she keeps her head down, one foot in front of the other, moving forward.

Cinderella's quest for giving and receiving love went seemingly unanswered for an eternity of days dedicated to drudgery. But she kept those skills alive giving and receiving with Mother Nature. What made Cinderella's life different from a life filled with hopelessness and despair was her bond with her Deepest Desires. Cinderella walked through drudgery with her heart on fire for the hidden quest of her Deepest Desires. Ironically, to experience the life she dreamed of Cinderella will have to release her isolation and drudgery.

Circumstances did not define Cinderella. She passed the tests of her quest by staying grounded in her ability to give and receive love. As a result she was open, vulnerable, and alive to the moment. She was able to perceive the Fairy Godmother and act on her instructions. Would she be able to take the next step? Could she release all of her life as she knew it? Would she cling to the known circumstances of her life rather than venture into the uncharted territories of living her Deepest Desires?

All around Cinderella were examples of people clinging to the safety of the familiar. Her stepsisters chose life disconnected from their native talents and strength. Her stepmother wore dissatisfaction like a shabby winter coat. Disillusioned she endlessly criticizes and beats everyone in the vicinity with her word stick. Once a promising healer, versed in herbal lore, Cinderella's stepmother used those skills disconnected from greater good and lost her way in manipulations and greed.

Some smoke endless cigarettes or drink countless bottles of wine. Others retreat from life, escaping into the one dimensional land of TV. One of Cinderella's stepsisters utilized a strategy to deal with her despair I am familiar with. She suffocated the bitterness of her disconnection from her authentic self with sweet cookies and fluffy confections of frosting.

Cinderella's stepsister and wicked stepmother are examples of people clinging to the superficial dreams disconnected from their strengths and a greater good. Alienated from their Deepest Desires nothing pleases them. Life separated from their essential self is barren.

Every quest requires us to release what doesn't serve our strengths and greater purpose. Cinderella had to release inhabiting the fireplace to live in the palace. She had to let go of her rags and embrace wearing a ball gown. Cleaning and scrubbing transformed into time spent exchanging love and the duties of a wife and mother. Cinderella had to release her job as the servant to become the wife of the Prince.

We never regret choices made with love. These are the choices of the authentic self. Conversely, our choices based on fear of the unknown can become lifetime traps, filled with regrets. Our lives in the modern world are not fairytales. All but an exceptional few will be confronted with the Great Silence. On the road to manifesting dreams and desires we'll confront limitations. Limitations are the fuel of innovation.

Living Deepest Desires we become vibrantly alive. At the ball everyone saw Cinderella's essential self shining brightly creating a nimbus of light around her body. Her clothes and her bearing matched her inner radiance. Freed from her fears and limitations Cinderella touched every single person in the room with the beauty of her Deepest Desires. The Prince was magnetized by the radiant love shimmering around Cinderella. He asked her to dance.

I invite you to ask yourself: Are you ready to experience this kind of vulnerability? Are you ready to let go of every defense that keeps you stuck?

The search for happiness is a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional phenomenon taking place within the context of bringing joy to your life and the lives of others. What will it feel like in our spirits to live our dreams?

Once we have a glimmer of what it will feel like to achieve our dreams practice feeling that way! It is impossible to do harm when our focus and commitment is to outwardly express inward desires with beauty and purpose. True power is reflected in how much beauty we can create, for ourselves, others, and the world.

**The Eighth Key to Happiness: In order to transform our dreams into reality we release all that sabotages our efforts. We claim our dreams in the world.**

# CHAPTER TWELVE

**The Ninth Key to Happiness: Transformation occurs when we release the unwanted, claim the wanted, and perform specific acts that reflect our determination to manifest our Deepest Desires.**

Whew! Are you getting tired yet? Let's put these steps together into a cohesive whole. Embedded in the teachings of the Fairy Godmother are three steps vital to Cinderella's transformation. First, the Fairy Godmother asked Cinderella to release her outdated and negative perception of her self. She encouraged Cinderella to identify and claim her Deepest Desires. Together they explored Cinderella's unique talents and strengths. The Fairy Godmother acknowledged Cinderella's luminescent spirit and beauty, and her desire to love and be loved. But it is all for naught without following through with congruent actions.

Growing up I heard my Dad say, "Actions speak louder than words." This phrase has become my mantra. Want to know the truth of a given situation? Look at the actions. Do the words and behavior match? No? The truth you seek is reflected in the actions. We are trickable when we listen only to words and ignore the behaviors. I know it's hard. We so badly want the words to be the truth. In actions the truth of our motivations are reflected. Look to the behaviors to discern reality. This is how we go from being trickable to untrickable. As the Fairy Godmother told Cinderella, "When you're not trickable you won't get tricked."

Is Cinderella ready to let her actions speak? Is she ready to create and climb a Golden Ladder congruent with her Deepest Desires? These behaviors don't have to be one hundred and eighty degrees away from our routine. Cinderella claimed her first step by revamping her words to reflect the Fairy Godmother's positive vocabulary. She began thinking and dreaming of the Fairy Godmother. This gave her such pleasure she joyfully transformed her drudgery into hope. She embraced her Deepest Desires as the seeds to her happiness. She stopped scolding herself for wanting a better life, a better way of living. She embraced her dreams.

Focusing on success, Cinderella mapped out a Proclamation. Next she made a list of the blockages to success; despair, her tendency to believe her stepmother's disparagement, believing she didn't deserve love. The list goes on and on. We all have ways we self-sabotage. Confronting negativity reduces its power. When she understood these barriers to success she burned the parchment, a literal and symbolic step. She is clarifying her strengths and weaknesses. Increasing self-understanding creates a ripple effect across the constellations that make up Cinderella.

She made another list outlining the rungs of her Golden Ladder. She chooses pleasurable actions like carving and painting the pumpkin. Step by step Cinderella encounters her strengths while designing her plan. These chores didn't feel like drudgery. They are empowering! They are behaviors congruent with Cinderella's essential self. She is broadening and deepening authenticity. It's a revelation. Letting go of the past, claiming the future with activities congruent with her Deepest Desires is a celebration. The ending of a drought, it has been a long time since Cinderella felt joy.

Climbing the rungs of her Golden Ladder, is the physical manifestation of Cinderella's dreams in the temporal world. Self esteem is born out of an exchange of value, behaviors relevant in ordinary reality. Our actions need currency in the mundane aspects of life. The key words here are: exchange - value - currency - relevance - material - mundane. Climbing the rungs of our Golden ladder pulls our dreams from the ephemeral into the ordinary. Our Deepest Desires must have worth in the real world.

The Prince's Proclamation verifies the currency of value to him is a spouse; authentic and loving. Here is an excerpt from Cinderella's hometown newspaper, The Mythic and Fairytale Gazette, interviewing the Prince.

**Mythic and Fairytale Gazette:** _Tell us about the search for your bride._

**Prince:** _Vulnerable, it 's tough to admit. My quest effects, me, my family, the Kingdom. Everyone living in this country will be affected by a successful marriage. Conversely the Kingdom would be negatively affected by a royal marriage going sour. Growing up I witnessed the divorce of Charles and Diana. A royal divorce that tore England apart, even the monarchy was at risk._

**Mythic and Fairytale Gazette:** _True. As a journalist I 've observed divorce reverberates beyond the couple. It devastates the children. Divorce transforms a safe household into one filled with misery. The children's friends are affected by a split household. The neighbors are divided. No one wants to be infected by a divorce._

_How you will avoid the perils of divorce for yourself and our kingdom?_

**Prince:** _Is there ever a guarantee? Marriage is a great vulnerability. Add in becoming parents and the potential for heartbreak exponentially explodes. A grueling search, I 've met countless women, all searching for happiness. The search for happiness is universal but as individuals we have different ideas what constitutes happiness. Some search for a specific person. Others wait for an event, or the job, money, power or prestige we believe will make us complete._

_The Fairy Godmother trained me for this quest. She is an extraordinary teacher. Now the quest itself has become my teacher. I 've learned distractions muddle our attention. We lose track of goals, our talents. We become disenfranchised from our strengths. Lost and confused our skills can no longer merge with the practical events of our life. These are the dangers of a quest._

_I have yet to meet the woman who will become my wife. I ask myself in an endless loop the questions the Fairy Godmother taught me. What do I need to release? What do I need to claim? What are the behaviors to find my wife?_

**Mythic and Fairytale Gazette:** _What will be the secret of success in the relationship you seek?_

**Prince:** _Right now I am learning the lessons of rejection hand in hand with dating. Some women are horrified by the responsibilities of a royal marriage. Others are shy. They would prefer to lead quiet lives. My life is not quiet. Women want to know if I am a 'Royal Pain.' They view royalty as unreasonable, bossy and difficult at best. For them royalty is self-aggrandizing. I have to ask myself, "am I that person?"_

_Dating reveals whether we are a good fit._

_We 're back to relationships are vulnerable. It is a raw experience to embrace all I am, meet someone new, open my mind and heart for another person to evaluate. We are all seeking the good fit._

_To answer your question, I 'm coming to understand part of the secret of success in a marriage is finding a relationship of good fit. I believe with the right woman I will become a better man. We will bring out the best in each other._

(The prince coughs and takes a drink of water.)

_Does the successful marriage carry a spark of the Great Mystery?_

_Fit, shared goals, similar values, the Sacred Spark: Do these synergistically, in infinite forms, create love? Love to buoy us when we falter. A love to nourish our strengths and forgive our weaknesses, I believe this love will revolve around our marriage._

Reading the article in the Mythic and Fairytale Gazette (her stepsisters pasted the article on the mirror of their vanity) Cinderella could hardly contain her excitement. The Prince confirmed his commitment to love. Cinderella's desire to love and be loved has actual value in the real world.

To create a new reality we take our invisible dreams and bring them into physical form with action. We are creating either the dream or the nightmare with each behavior. Harsh? In the Great Silence we act in faith while the appearance of life looks and feels like a nightmare. It doesn't matter how good our intentions are, if we don't back them up with congruent behaviors, our desires will not materialize in the world.

When our thoughts, feelings and actions are congruent, focused on creating a meaningful goal, we are telling the self, the world and the Great Spirit, we are serious. This synthesis of congruency; intention and action, creates the power to drive goals into form. With three steps the Fairy Godmother nurtured and encouraged the Positive Possibilities for Cinderella's future.

The Fairy Godmother understands it is not what happens to us in the past that creates our future happiness or unhappiness. Our happiness is contingent on our abilities to cultivate resilience, resourcefulness and creativity, regardless of the appearance of life as we know it. Our future happiness is built on resources we may have overlooked, and constructing a Golden Ladder of behaviors, climbing the rungs, leading us to the goodness in life. Are you afraid of heights?

The ability to reinvent life using what is readily available exemplifies the spirit of the Fairy Godmother's teachings. She models for us, and Cinderella, transforming mice to men, a pumpkin into a coach, her gifts of resiliency, resourcefulness, and creativity. Take a look at your own world through the resourceful and creative eyes of the Fairy Godmother. There are opportunities to remake your life.

**The Ninth Key to Happiness: Transformation occurs when we release the unwanted, claim the wanted, and perform specific acts that reflect our determination to manifest our Deepest Desires.**

# CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Immersed in behaviors supporting our dreams we can take a look around us and like Cinderella -- when we arrive at the celebration-- allow ourselves the time to savor the wonder of it all. Like Cinderella we can lose ourselves in the moment caught up in the gift of the present.

Savoring awakens us. Savoring raises our energetic vibration. We become an antenna for that unique vibration of beauty and pleasure. By consciously savoring the beauty and pleasure of each moment, we multiple and increase its power. We contribute to the Universal Law of Ever-Expanding Beneficence, the ever evolving goodness of life.

As a way to encourage savoring, I put focal points of beauty around my home, office, and garden. This is a simple yet powerful tool. As I rest my eye on beauty new thoughts, creative and resilient, emerge. A focal point of beauty could be an artifact, art, picture, poem, anything personal to us designed to pull our attention toward beauty and away from stress. Can you see how this shift in attention creates a buffer to the minutiae of stress infiltrating daily life?

I am not advocating the denial of feelings or the avoidance of grief. Tough times can require a direct acceptance of overwhelming pain. And yet, points of beauty in our environment can soothe and calm. Why do you think flowers are the gift of choice in bereavement? They are to lift our spirit that we might not be lost in the deluge of grief. A focal point of beauty might be a vase of flowers, a beautiful piece of art, a statue, photo, or even a rock or sea shell.

Focal points help us reflect the spiritual and literal aspects of life simultaneously. And just like symbols they interpenetrate all the dimensions of self. They create a moment, a breath, to refocus our attention on what has meaning and purpose. Use focal points of beauty to create a _reconnect, reset, begin again pause_.

Take in the beauty and breathe. Let it wash over you and feel the hurry or stress fall away. Focal points of beauty are present through out my day and evenings. I either take a fleeting glance as I'm walking by, or I stop and pay attention to the shapes, colors and textures of my guide and treasure. I let the beauty enter and flow through me. Try it. It's easy, fun, and speaks to our authentic self.

My focal points of beauty are often attached to a quality I'm cultivating, or reflect an ambition I have, or remind me of serenity or they are just plain beautiful. Pausing, my attention is pulled toward my goal. My attention is pulled toward serenity. They wire in my goal or quality I'm seeking with my central nervous system. I'm reminded of my purpose and the corresponding acts along the Golden Ladder. I'm creating a spiritual muscle to translate the energetic into literal.

A focal point ignites the energetic muscle it takes to achieve our goal. For example, writing The Way of the Fairy Godmother takes, aside from the physical act of typing, energetic and mental muscles to create and complete the manuscript. Although primarily mental, creating the manuscript is a literal act. I'm not moving mountains but I get tired. And my behind mass has expanded corresponding to the amount of time sitting at work......But let's move away from that focal point.

Focal points of beauty are concretized symbols. Like images they interpenetrate our conscious mind and unconscious mind, the heart, the soul and the spirit. They speak to all levels of who we are and our dreams. A quiet moment viewing a focal point of beauty positively affects respiration rate, blood pressure, and our biochemistry. There is a flood of cascading neuromuscular and biochemical events that take place when we pause to savor beauty.

Wooden bowls filled with sand, centered with a candle and surrounded with gems and minerals is a favorite focal point of beauty in my home and office. To me they are focal points of beauty straight out of the Fairy Godmother playbook. Whatever you choose to create be mindful of the multiple gifts. They are reminders that inter-penetrate our thoughts, feelings and spirit, simultaneously. They give us brief moments, respites from stress. They are an invitation to redirect our attention toward beauty, toward success, toward the realization of our goals and ambitions, toward our connectivity with family, friends and the world.

When we live our dreams with intention, volition, creativity, and determination, we find ourselves within the crucible of healing. The pains of the past fall away. We are no longer trapped by negative conditioning and misconceptions limiting our abilities. We are in the process of recreating our lives with beauty and power. The flame of transformation engulfs us and we are never the same again. Ask Cinderella.

Cinderella, using the Fairy Godmother methods, of releasing herself from the pains of the past, focusing on positive goals, using the stuff of life readily available, incorporating resources into a specific plan that supports favorable outcomes and voila, Cinderella became a woman of power. She is no longer at the mercy of the negative factors plaguing her from the past.

To live her brilliance Cinderella threw off negative conditioning and the detrimental aspects of traumatic experiences. After she garnered the lessons, loved and forgave, calmed and soothed, her vibratory rate was no longer haunted by the phenomena therapist have come to call post traumatic stress.

Healing is not an over night process. Layers of pain and trauma emerge as we peel away the layers of negative conditioning. The antidote is always loving, calming, soothing, and empowering efforts to create a future filled with our unique gifts and destiny. Our efforts to create beauty, within the context of living our Deepest Desires, transmute the pains of the past. This is the science of alchemy.

Your personal alchemy is the metaphysical process of transforming lead; the traumas and pains of the past, into gold; living and savoring the personal dreams of happiness and achievement.

Yes, we'll have setbacks, and failures. We will be swamped with feelings to console. But with resilience, a good plan, and acting on our plan, the possibilities of positive, favorable outcomes await us in the future. I have found the keys to happiness in the simple fairytale we were told as children. The Way of the Fairy Godmother explores the Cinderella fairytale to find the skills of living the authentic and joyous life.

To walk the way of the Fairy Godmother begin to see your life and dreams through the eyes of the Fairy Godmother.

# THE NINE KEYS TO HAPPINESS

The First Key to Happiness: Deepest Desires are the seeds to our happiness. The beginnings of happiness are born from the identification and recognition of deepest desires.

The Second Key to Happiness: Focusing on harmony, health, and success will bring more harmony, health, and success.

The Third Key to Happiness: We are filled with native talents and resources that support our Deepest Desires. Learn to apply them in daily life.

The Fourth Key to Happiness: Create a Proclamation that revolutionizes the inner and outer world while creating health, beauty, and prosperity for ourselves and others.

The Fifth Key to Happiness: It is not enough to want our Deepest Desires to appear in life. To bring forth success and happiness, create and implement Golden Ladders. Climbing the rungs manifests our Deepest Desires into the everyday world.

The Sixth Key to Happiness: Create a language that is positive and reflects Deepest Desires. Become conscious of the words we use to describe our goals, attitudes, moods, desires, behaviors and motivations. Become like the Fairy Godmother and speak only loving and positive words.

The Seventh Key to Happiness: People who find success never give up striving toward creating their Deepest Desires in tangible forms that beautify life.

The Eighth Key to Happiness: In order to transform dreams into reality release all that sabotages our efforts. Claim the dreams in the everyday world.

The Ninth Key to Happiness: Transformation occurs when you release the unwanted, claim the wanted, and perform specific acts that reflect the determination to manifest Deepest Desires.

# ABOUT THE AUTHOR

JENNIFER MORSE, M.S., PhD, trained as a marriage and family therapist, has spent her life studying mysticism, striving for balance between conventional life and the mystical.

# ALSO BY JENNIFER MORSE

Jennifer Morse has also published a Young Adult novel Redemption's Warrior. Now available at Barnes & Noble.

Coming soon, Letters From The Land of Midlife Dating.

#

The Way of the Fairy Godmother  
Copyright (C) 2015 By Jennifer Morse, M.S., PhD

All rights reserved
