Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most
inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions - that cosmic place between
reality and endless sleep - where we worship
our one true queen, The Black Goat of the
Woods with a Thousand Young.
Come on guys, she’s great - really.
What’s going on Question-eers - as always,
I’ll be your host Jack Finch - as we pledge
our eternal servitude to the great old ones
and Outer Gods alike - and nonchalantly ask
the question, What If Shub-Niggurath Was Real?
Roll the clip.
Fear not guys, this video is anything but
fractured - and we’ll be relying on some
pretty legit canonical sources to paint ourselves
a picture of a world where Shub-Niggurath
is warmly smiled upon more so than the Queen
of England herself.
Before we do that, though - you know how it
goes guys - if you’re a fan of this video,
H.P Lovecraft - or the worship of abyssal
cosmic entities - then go ahead and give this
video a thumbs up, and make sure to hit that
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with our latest and greatest uploads.
Also, why don’t you go ahead and share it
with a friend or potential Cthulhu cultist,
so you can disseminate the spread of eldritch
influence in a much more efficient manner.
Now it’s no deep mystery that the works
of H.P Lovecraft have inspired an entire school
of thought in horror - the idea of a great
twisted, writhing beast of such immense grotesqueness
and infinite cosmic power - that the human
mind can’t even begin to comprehend their
inner workings and are thus driven to complete
and utter madness.
Still though, that hasn’t stopped hordes
of fictional zealots making it their short-lifes
work to usher in the reign of great old one
and Outer God alike.
None of these are more beloved than Shub-Niggurath
herself, like a weird, twisted - ginormous
Taylor Swift, capturing the hearts and minds
of bright-young budding cultists the entire
universe over.
Really, she’s great.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Shub - let’s call her Shub, it’s got a
ring to it - first appeared in 1928’s The
Last Test, a short story that was published
in the Weird Tales anthology series.
Since that first appearance, her legend had
grown like a mighty meaty-seed and sprawled
its tentacles across all facets of the Lovecraft
mythos, being picked up by more recent authors
such as August Derleth, Lin Carter and Brian
Lumley.
In all seriousness, they can’t get enough
of our cosmic Queen in waiting.
Shub-Niggurath is an Outer God, that also
goes by the name The Black Goat of the Woods
with a Thousand Young.
She is a perverse fertility deity, said to
appear as an evil cloud like entity.
She’s an enormous mass, extruding black
fleshy tentacles, slime dripping mouths - and
short, writhing goat legs.
As a bonus, small creatures are continually
spat forth from her maw, which are either
consumed into the miasmatic form or escape
to be some off-shoot monstrous lifeform elsewhere
in the universe.
Out of all the Lovecraftian deities, Shub-Niggurath
is undoubtedly the most extensively worshipped.
Her hit list includes the Hyperboreans, the
Muvians, the T’yog of K’naa - that’s
got a ring to it - the people of the planet
Sarnath - and an uncountable number of primitive
druidic and barbaric cults across the cosmos
- including Earth.
She’s so beloved, that even non-humanoid
lifeforms worship her - the Mi-go, a fungal
based species - and the Nug-Soth, an insectoid,
almost reptilian race.
What’s great about Shub, is that she’s
so accessible - and doesn’t discriminate
on who or what can possibly meet the parameters
for her love.
She’s all ears - literally.
Shub-Niggurath can be summoned to any woodland
at the time of the new moon, and it’s a
pretty straightforward, utilitarian procedure.
She /wants/ to be ushered in and welcomed
to the world, like a bright, beautiful, blossoming
- - writhing - - mass.
Yeah - you get the picture.
But what if she was real, right now - right
here - in 2018.
We as humans systematically hang our shared
adoration on pretty much anything and anyone.
Charles Manson had more than his fair share
of misguided cult of personality.
People worship the Kardashians, the Paul brothers
- even mumble rappers - so why not add a colossal
broodmother to that celebrity list?
Hell - there are many more benefits than just
a lousy Maverick t-shirt if you dedicate your
life's worship to The Black Goat of the Woods
with a Thousand Young, and you won’t even
have to pay for it.
Take immortal life, as an example.
In The Moon Lens, a short story written by
Ramsey Campbell in 1964 - we’re given insight
into a particular ritual of the gof’nn hupadgh
Shub-Niggurath, a cult of her favourite once-human
worshippers.
When the deity deems a cultist more than worthy
- a special ceremony is held in which the
Black Goat of the Woods ingests the initiate
through her womb and then rebirths the cultist
as a weird, transformed - satyr-like being.
And guess what - they’re immortal too.
How generous is that?
Right?
Why would you want a new pair of Yeezys when
you could be modelling immortality and a brand
new pair of hooves instead.
All of that could be yours, for the small
price of eternal servitude - and your new
relocation to a woodland area alongside like
minded people.
You’ll get to wear some pretty awesome purple
robes, while potentially preparing yourself
to be the next human sacrifice for Shub-Niggurath’s
love.
You’ll get to stand amongst her Dark Young
- horrifying, pitch-black monstrosities made
of ropy tentacles, that are twice as tall
as a tree and stink like an open grave.
If you’re really, really lucky - then you’d
even be able to drink Shub-Niggurath’s milk.
Yes, you heard that correctly.
Her milk.
If Shub-Niggurath was real, then her unrelenting
cosmic love would be felt all across the cosmos,
and we’d all happily fall under her warm,
eldritch embrace.
Hold on a minute.
I can almost feel it.
ERM - what was I saying?
Sorry about that folks.
If you were a fan of this video - then - leave
a thumbs up for Shub-Niggurath, our one true
saviour.
Also, to continue on with your Lovecraftian
binge, feel free to hit that playlist floating
shortly above.
Perhaps I’ll be seeing you next time - you’ve
been watching Life’s Biggest Questions,
as always I’ve been your human host Jack
Finch - and until next time, Shub-Niggurath.
