[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Whatís happening again guys? You know thereís
actually a theme for todayís videos and thatís:
ìahhhoooohhh! What the F(beep)kî. Seriously!
Starting out with this creepy satanic Louis
Armstrong bobble head doll.
[Creepy Louis Armstrong Head - Clip]
(inaudible)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now I know what youíre thinking. Ray: that
thing has low batteries. Bull(beep) that thing
is here to f(beep)in molest me! I mean did
you see that face? Louis Armstrong doesnít
make that R@peF@ce, I mean what if you walked
into a jazz club and Louis Armstrong was on
stage making a face like ìHELLO Where are
all the white b^tch&s at?î That video got
30,000 views in about a year and a half. And
and, thank you, thank you guys for sending
that to me cause you know, I didnít wanna
sleep this week or anything. f(beep)in think
is going to haunt my (like Freddy Fóing Kruger)
nightmares. And oh, props to the lady whose
idea it was to film this thing and put it
on Youtube, but ah, a quick message to her:
ìI think you left your weed on the table
there.î I guess you would need to toke up
all the time after seeing that creepy f(beep)in
thing in your living room. HELLO!
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Actually this next video is from last year,
I wanted to review it then but I didnít have
time, but its great youíll like it, it has
3,000,000 views. So thereís these guys watching
this girl dance here in a bikini. You know,
typical internet behavior (lookiní for beatiní
material) but of course thatís not the good
part. The good part is when the girl approaches
the camera.
[Bikini Girl ChatRoulette Prank - Clip]
Whatís up? Whatís up guys? (girl is a guy)
You guys are so gay!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now, I love this (beep) mainly cause the guys
watchin the bikini dance there, they were
all mesmerized like they are f(beep)in Bikini
Girl Louis Armstrong. And then the dude turns
around and calls them gay! Which is hilarious
cause you know they left the room, like oh,
my god, are we gay? I swear to god I had this
boner before we clicked on that video. And
ya, I know what you guys think, actually I
do know what you guys are thinking, you guys
are thinking what a Douche! What a fag, cause
according to you guys everyone on the internet
is either a douche or a fag. And we appreciate
that! (loviní us some douchery faggery) No!
But youíre probably thinking, Ray: Why is
Jesus there dancing in a bikini? I donít
know, for your sins? I donít know. But I
do know you gotta go watch the whole video
cause he pranks other people, and itís hilarious!
But admittedly if that had happened to me,
I think I would of handled it a little differently.
Hey, b^tch! I didnít say stop dancing! Alright
besides all that, thatís not the weirdest
part. (his p&n^s is not the weirdest part?)
Hereís the weirdest part. (still not his
p&n^s?) The guys channel says his name is
Steve Kardynal and I swear to you, I met Steve
before, not, like at a Tranny Bar, but no!
In real life! Now correct me if Iím wrong
but is that True Steve, do we know each other?
Well! Regardless, Steve, I think I speak for
everyone her when I say: ìnice, @ssî.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright so this video was kind of blowing
up this week. It got over 700,000 thousand
views and itís just a girl and a cell phone
cam.
[Do You Like Me Now - Clip]
Cuz, I donít have a boyfriend so Iíve kind
of been wondering whatís wrong with me.
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright, fair enough. Normal enough. Sheís
a girl with a cell phone cam, she doesnít
have a boy friend so sheís gonna make us
a little video.
[Do You Like Me Now - Clip]
Do You Like Me Now? Do you like me know, with
all this makeup on? Huh? Do you f&&&&ing like
me know? Do you like me now? Am I tan enough?
Do you like me now? (smearing make up on her
face and pouring water over her head) Ahhhhhhh!
Do you like me now? Ahhhhhhhhhhh! (messing
up her hair) Do you guys like me now? (dancing)
You like me now? (Model posing) Whatís 2
plus 2, Gonorrhea!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
I told you, didnít I, I told yoU! I told
you all the videos today would make you go
AHHHHHHHHHH, ILLLLLLLL WHAT THE F(BEEP)! Now,
to the girl in the video. Sweet heart, you
donít have to do all that stuff to get a
guy to like you. All you have to do is? The
dishes! Alright! Look, look, lets be serious
here, if youíre a girl, itís not hard, itís
not difficult to attract a guy. Look Steve,
here, did it and he got a f(beep)in p*n^s!~
I mean, it really is that simple, guys, and
you guys would guys would notice these things
if you stop spending all your time f(beep)ing
planking! Ya, pardon me, side note here: ìPlanking
is the stupidest s(beep)t, if I walk around
town and I see anyone of you planking, I swear
to god Iím gonna run up and punch you right
in the d^(beep)k. Anywhore! I think that everyoneís
favorite part of this video is that little
mathematical equation she has for STDís
[Do You Like Me Now - Clip]
Whatís 2 plus 2, Gonorrhea!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
You know guys, I ñ I
n2 = H/m(1-m E(m)/K(m))
+
Intercourse
+
2+2
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
I actually did the math and = (Gonorrhea)
sheís right!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
But if you didnít already know. This video
is faker than a Jersey Shore sun tan! Itís
actually a performance ñ this little girl
is actually giving a socio-political performance!
Look! She is satirizing what guys look for
in girls and I think she did a great job.
In fact, she did a good enough job that plenty
of people believed it. Hell, even those gay
guys thought it was real. So to that, I can
honestly say: ìGood performance, girl. Hatís
off to youî. Keep on trolliní with those
socio-political messages. Oh, guys real quick,
side note: before I forget, I actually made
a Google plus account, (gplus.to/raywj) I
resisted for a while and then I had to make
one cause people were making fake ones and
google is too f(beep)ing stupid to take the
fake ones down! So this is my Google plus
account (gplus.to/raywj) I will also put it
in the info bar BELOW. So if you have a Google
plus account then add me, weíll have a good
time. And other than that Iíll see you in
a few days. Oh, donít forget to check out
the comment question of the day, which comes
from a user name. Bam! MyLifeAssLuis and he
said:
[MyLifeAssLuis][Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
This should be good! So if you made an adult
film, what would you call it? Iíd call mine
R@PEF@CE!
[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses
in the comment section below, or on Facebook
or Twitter or Google Plus
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayís episode of
Equals Three, Iím Ray William Johnson, and
as always, I approve this message. So tell
me guys, if hot dogs arenít sandwiches what
is they? Hello!
[Outer]
(The outer song Ray William Johnson ñ Fight
To Win ñ Featuring ñ DeStorm.)
