

Something to Follow

# the simple terms you wanted

# by

# Theodora Oniceanu

# Table of Contents

Joan and the Communions

The Bad Sailor Captain

Not from our team

Fired Up

Theli Lola

Go Find something right and justice in the world

Where is that real thing?

MissConceptio

You too need some time alone

Why didn't you, why didn't I?

...

fire their homes for good

Am I evil?

Perhaps I do not know about love as much as I wish

The orders have been clear

I wanted too much to believe

Now I have to believe in myself, once again

In you, my strength, beloved Saviour

The Miracle of Joy Night

Night of a Thousand Thoughts

Come-back of Filth

The Jaws of a Dashing Unicorn-Shark

Another Mind to treat with something Sweet

You can make it better

Tricks of the Rising Sun

Filthy Treatments

We're going on a trip down to Felix

I wasn't there: To You!

Sweet toys for resurrection

We need to believe in something!

Somewhere in the middle

Anything?

The Anti-Civilizator

Wrong being Wrong

In something we must trust

Am I going mad for nothing?

As usual: I'm wrong!

Am I... W....?

Back to the Planet called Earth

These Trees

Something that follows

To be proud

Enjoy the Gift of Life

All my ways to being grateful

D_dance.Freelance

All my ways of being

Demise, disdain, deep hurler

Did I travel too far?

Punish all the beautiful for being what they are!

Don't turn me in something that you were!

Together: since we accomplish more!

?

Night of a Thousand Miracles

A Soul that Feels the same

I am I

All the things I should be thankful for

Everything in Place: The right place

FEar

Someone beautiful

Per se

I want Beauty, I want Grace

Permanence

Perilous performer

Periscopes

All the latter three, together

Am I talking about myself now?

A break-up with all feelings

Strategies

Reward

Hate

The After Hate Song

Responsibility Issues

#### Joan and the Communions

The voices of Joan have helped:

Those voices of Joan have erased the past,

Screaming: it's over! Are you... okay?

The voices of Joan have rescued me from all trouble that I could not handle!

Voices of the ones I once loved: all left behind!

The voices of Joan lifted me up

And I learned how to fly!

Their vices shut me down,

Got lit back by the candle of love.

Who loved me and why?

I am still asking myself and I look down

On the Planet, I left behind;

From above I send my blessings to you to do well, to do good,

I was and still am your nicest friend.

Perhaps this was your problem;

I'm sorry if it's such a great offense,

But no sorrows can bring back a friend and help me trust someone else again.

I will have to do well with whatever comes in hand;

I will have to surrender to a peculiar faith

And be strong,

Believe that others might just believe in the same things that I do.

To all my friends out there, left behind: be strong and beautiful as you always were!

I'm sorry: my tears were supposed to extinguish the fires unfairly lit

and carry down the river

the candles of our lost hopes and dreams for humanity.

And now I find that I can love again!

  * Don't listen to the voices of blind and senseless souls!  
They have forgotten how's to be human a long-long time ago;

  * Sometimes I find myself wondering if they were ever born

  * From flesh and bone to bone

  * with flesh-like behaviour.

  * Do not let tears fall more than they have to for a fault induced,

  * Infused

  * By the lovely people out there you confused with your heroes,

  * Your team-mates, your possible friends:

  * With friends like that you'll find yourself better among the enemies.

  * I only wanted to be happy, we all hurt sometimes, you must know;

  * My song didn't say so!

  * Nevertheless, we all have to die alone, together we die alone:

  * Don't make it happen too soon,

  * Together can be done alone,

  * We all have to suffer for what we have done, haven't done

  * To realize how stupid, we all were!

  * I only wanted you to be happy! Why can't you be so?

  * Darling, in my case, happiness is only a miracle...

  * ONLY.

  * Why should I cry now for telling the truth?

  * For saying how things are? This was the perspective we lived!

  * Why should I cry for seeing through the veils you all make shine under my eyes...?

  * : believe, make-believe:

  * Why should I suffer for seeing, on a white screen,

  * The projections of my mind happening?

  * Why should I be punished for imagining?

  * Why should I shed some more tears

  * for all the imagined things that happen-didn't happen,

  * We all have nightmares or dreams that we carry along on the strings:

  * On fired-up ropes we dance and hope for the best; our best!

  * No nightmare should be lived:

  * I must have devoured it!

  * I had to let it out: oh, the fault now! The fault!

  * Ropes devouring the screens that are not happening,

  * Killer ropes that must have hated us for what we couldn't achieve!

  * Forgive, please, forgive...! It wasn't our goal for you to be gone this young!

  * Brave girl! Forgive us all!

  * Oh, brave-brave Joan! Forgive us all for sentencing you to: Heaven!

#### The Bad Sailor Captain

Duff-up, differ, duffer suffer, laughter

And... - Jo(ooo)y! the smile is wide open,

He's the same old lunatic

You all loved.

I just need to say this:

Perhaps I'll end-up in tears

Since I don't have a _Bitdefende_ r

Of Premium Gaze.

The Geese I am waiting for are now long forgotten,

They found another girl, a different boy

Someone who was trained to be a fighter

And not told the loser they must be

For the entire family!

On the waves of to-day, to-maroon, too sweet:

Don't sweat too much, only breathe!

Take a bow, maybe two,

Embrace the light of the Universe you loved believing was honest and true,

Bringing you to the deserving truth.

But the truth is about reason

And reason is cruel sometimes!

The truth is about having faith in the brainwaves

telling you which lies covered for what and why!?

The truth is an illusion,

It is not real, you see?

The truth, this Truth

Is nothing but the idea

Of who we used to be.

Perhaps now I'll know better,

Why I was punished too;

I must have been too evil

-We should get even though-

Or only weak enough for you

To use me like a puppet

Then throw me back to "life"

Could you forgive me for not wanting what you wish for

~ to own? ~

I want!

Where is that justice, sailor?

Where did you find it, huh!?

Oh, yes! Like all gods,

It must reside in You!

In Me you would have found it!  
I wasn't there, for you!

Was I too hard and bad,

too mean to carry on with, dear?

You couldn't see me

But just for that fact

The matter got a little distorted

Yet, the path

Wasn't all ruined!

Only

Particular pieces of clothing

You

Have to be true.

You couldn't see me but that

doesn't mean I didn't help you through!

Where is that justice, girl-dude?

Where are we, now, my friend!?  
Where is that love you needed

When lost in tears that burned

All memories,

All troubles,

Your fears along with mine!?

All fights you fought

And laughs you laughed

You ran away because one is one

While many conquer the world

Together;

Will you be allowed to feel accomplished forever?

You need your loneliness to make you strong forever...

together with the spirit of the greatest leader;

Then things will be much better.

At ease, soldier, the captain spoke!

You are no longer in the team of hope!

Since everything's delusion

Your faith must be confused

How can one's Faith become confused?

Don't ask me, search-in for yourself.

Researchers having their mind set on losing

An awful team.

I simply needed to say this,

Perhaps the end is near,

Maybe the cries were not fair nor okay;

I hoped for miracles to happen

The world's still there, destroyed

By Hurricanes and thunders,

By human-greedy wars

We lead just every day now,

with neighbours or with friends,

I didn't want to be a part of it

You made me...

Now my tears will be revengeful!

Make them right, please!

-make it right, this time of all those years-

A word about fairness, Captain!  
The word was spoken through teeth,

Through the thunderous grief

#### Not from our team

You are not from our team, you are too sweet!  
Not from our team, dear! To bitter, you see!?

There, have a mirror,

A whole set of them: watch and see!

There is the button to hold and press

For you to remember

Why You

And Why Me!

You're not from our team, girl, not my cup of tea!

You're too mean and too hard on my chest!

What did I do to you

So, I deserved this!?

Not from our end, the end is something beautiful, my friend:

I earned it!

Go earn your wisdom and your inner self... again

'cause someone else needed to get it instead! Okay!?

How's that fair?

The world needed a better girl or man!

Someone who cared

Because the greatest family of all

Was there for them!

Not from our tea, man!

You never really cared, did you!?

For her, for them?

Not, from this end!

We're throwing you there where you never belonged to

We'll be watching to learn

And we'll see

Who adapts better and why, for what and for whom!

Not from our team, man!

We're having so much fun, now!

This is quite the ideal job!  
I didn't know that I was actually capable of all this and that!

It must have been the desired thing

For artists to do that

Instead of learning and developing

Their love, their hate, their inner wrath and show it to the world: because the world invested in all that!

Go, buy the truth that wants to be sold, now!

Go buy the truth you want!

#### Fired Up

Beat the fire with fire dear!

If you want to become the Ice Queen!

Beat the love and the passion,

beat the energy inside someone else's heart - beat yourself.

beat them all with their own philosophical wrath, if you want!

Beat the world and the world will beat you, because

the world probably wants you to suffer some more.

Well, enough is enough,

we like peace so we try

to cool down and in desperate shouts to make peace or have some fun.

We do prey, in our own ways;

special or not, we do care about this fight for what is right.

We connect with one another and disconnect sometimes because

We keep our valuable needs as human-artists to communicate

What's wrong with all that?

Perhaps we need to take a peek inside and see who did what

Or just leave it like that

to the angels of love and life, to the angels of retribution, to the creators of something new, to those who still have mercy,

to the light of truth.

Because we are too many in this world needing to feed

some have to go through hell then come back again and find a way to make a living - we fight for our lives as much as you do! We all have our kids and our families to care for. We have our passions, kill the passion of creation inside someone and you'll get screwed, just like everyone trying to kill it.

Don't you know that a gift from god is a gift to be cherished and loved?

Then WHy did you attack Mine?!!!

I thought that sharing was good and the right thing to do...

why did you have to teach me differently?

I am that woman who won't learn how to kill it but embrace it, create it and give it.

Then, reinventing it from what can be done will happen with the mercy of the angels and demons above!

A demon to some is that angel protecting you from getting harmed.

Get down with your demons, if that's what you want and get your protection from whatever they'd bother to offer to you now!

I am what I always was, believe it or not. If what achieved in life bothered, then I must be wrong... it shouldn't have bothered, it isn't enough.

The proof in my pockets will speak out loud or eat you alive.

I didn't hate you all, I loved you but was taught

to fear the multitude of people

trying to take all that I love away from me.

I was too scared but now I'm not;

Your reasons to stay were as good as mine, weren't they?

#### Theli Lola

She left it all behind, one day,

The mocking birds and the common stay,

For nothingness and nothing prayed

Since what came back

On this cursed land

Was not for her;

  * Okay, she said, embracing the path.

It's interesting how I ended up like that:

  * Liking what I seemed to dislike...?

Or, perhaps it was inside me

  * All along the path!?

All goods are for those who had it all from the very beginning;

The paths were drawn before we even tried to fight

What we could feel and see as evil.

What's nice in a bunch of liars with the purpose of killing

The things one holds dear to

Hoping that one day

They'd become a hero...

  * Okay, she said, embracing the path!

  * It is interesting how is that I ended-up doing that:

  * A thing I was never sure I could do;

  * I was told and driven not to!

  * The little light inside though was pretty strong,

  * My guess:

  * You couldn't have a rest,

  * You wouldn't have a rest

  * Until I get there too!  
Until I feel complete and happy

  * As you all deserve it too.

She left it all behind, one day,

All mocking birds had come to stay in a nest nearby.

For nothingness and nothing they prayed

And found the reasons to believe

In the sciences of black holes

And suns to rise above

For life,

Giving life

Up

For what we all know as the light

We need.

All light shut down,

Theli Lola is moving away

Towards another star.

All planets known by you behind;

Theli Lola is going to find life

Too far

For you to produce any harm:

To her spirit!

Theli Lola, you, coward human being!  
How could you just leave us all

Believing that we can handle it all by ourselves?

We do have our families and our friends!

They help, you were right

For once!

Theli Lola! Why didn't you believe in yourself more?

What happened to you all?

Why did you feel like disappearing forever?

Why didn't you wait

For another miracle?

#### Go Find something right and justice in the world

  * "Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy..."

  * Why do all stories start like this, grandma?

  * What do you mean, dear?

  * Well... they all talk about a "once upon a time" and they all seem to tell about "a girl and a boy", "a king and his sons or daughters", "an evil dragon to be defeated" and sometimes a witch or a wizard. Why can't a dragon be the nice guy for a change.

  * Well, this story is exactly about a peculiar dragon like that!

  * Really!?

  * Hmm...yes! Only don't tell your father about this one! He'll never speak to me again if he learns that I told you this story. Let's make it our secret, shall we?

  * Wow! Sure! I promise I won't tell!

  * Okay... then: "There was once this castle of dragons the girl and the boy I mentioned heard about from a sailor coming in town. It was the castle of Reason and it was turned into the home of dragons after the cruellest war that ever happened to the world of kings; The dragons, with the help of some great wizard no one has ever seen only heard of, turned them into the slaves their people used to be and the kings had to serve the people just like the people used to serve them. If the kinds were fair and good the kings got to serve without trouble. But many were the kings who didn't love or care for their people and those had a rough time, the roughest imagined on the planet of kings."

  * I bet that they lost their tastes for battles between one another!

The bells-like laughter of grandma was sweet;

With all of her heart filled with the warmth a feeling

Saying her heart was not happy!

  * They sure did!

  *   * The bells started ringing, singing and playing

  * with every word spoke the loveliest grandmother

  * of all times!

  * She took the girl to the adventure of their story-times!

The cookies were backing in the oven,

The tart was resting on a covered large sand-stone.

Cinnamon powder was up in the air

And the apple juice-caramel sticking on the plate

Where the baked apples were waiting

To be devoured by the kids

Were all charming the place down.

Grandma was closing her memory-book now.

  * Let's set the table! It's almost time now, they arrived!

  * Oh, grandma! I cannot wait for our trip to Rome!

  * And I cannot wait to take you to Singapore!

  * Why?

  * Well, that's a surprise!

It is one of the lands where dragons are also the good guys!

  * Grandma, are you sure about this!?

  * The girl asked aloud from the dining-room.

  * But of course, I'm sure! I was there, remember?

  * Oh, no! I don't think you will like this colour...

  * A graceful walk carrying a tray full of baked-apples

  * Which looked shiny and great didn't stop her from being observant and speak:

  *...Off Green Roses and Petals of Coral Reefs!

  * What on Earth means all of this!?

  * The Room turned red then it all became green,

  * The playful lights of the North Pole

  * Were all there to shine above their table.

*

The world's a great bloomed flower,

It fruits and hides then rises

Audacious with grace!

*

God bless the bells and the door-bells for being stronger

Than ever, reuniting the family after an hour of fantasy

In the world of Joy:

  * Can you hear!?

  * Hear, what!?

  * The music of the stars!?

  * No... I hear though the music of the waves of light dancing all around...

  * Tonight!

I shall call this, The Miracle of Joy Night!

#### Where is that real thing?

You don't know how much I hate you   
For bringing me into this world to be a failure.  
You don't know how much I resent you not being helpful at all!  
You don't know how much I fought  
To recover myself from this depressive path,   
I swear that I will put you down forever,   
Cunt!" Excerpt from 'Something to Follow" " since Love and care seem to be outraged! Out-rated.

Outrageous things that used to come out of me,  
What do you think now?  
Am I lovely?

####  MissConceptio

I must be a liar,  
I must be a thief,  
Trust me, you don't want to know the wealthy life I live!  
I must be some whore,  
Deluxe iné, 'sure making a living  
On the top of the floor!  
I must be some wonder,  
Can't you see I'm great?  
What happened? Why couldn't I just stand alone and proud,  
With dignity to show this face of mine

Can you believe how much I hate you?

I hate myself for what I am!

That much, that way

I'll burn it all into the flames and be the one I felt

Was the right thing.

What's wrong, was I too proud, were you the one who hated me

With a hate that's too strong to let me be?

Why did I fight: you, me and them all?

Why didn't I fight at all?

I want this depressive path to be useful: help me! Help me out!

I'd rather be alone than a victim of a horrible nightmare!

No sorry can wipe out the bruises in the memory of my soul, on the skin...

She will always remember, she will always know how to avoid it,

How to escape!

You will never touch her again!

This was not what I wanted for me or for you, for any of you!

Why did you make me the saviour of an abuser?

Perhaps in the name of God!

Not at peace with violence, not at peace with your cunning acts,

Never happy with the traitors and the treason of the gods that never actually cared

Because they didn't dare

To live their art, their creation and all the pain they created for you, my friend!

Am I courageous, am I outrageous!?

No! We are all describing what happened before,

In front of our eyes or in a dark corner of our minds!

No one should live with a man who's hurting women and men...

No one... I'm trying to be grateful!

Never be grateful for the luxury of being a victim!

Alone! I'd rather be alone than beaten for being wonderful!

Am I just choosing the saddest luxury?

#### You too need some time alone

You never had a real chance,

You were never given Faith or Strength in anything

But yourself.

You were discouraged all the time but you made it somehow.

Your life, so miserable... Mine too good to be true.

You weren't given the opportunity

Tried to create one through tears and troubles

When real life appears.

Didn't I look stupid to you, me and my fancy shoes?

It was me the one who had it all, can't you see?

Why do I have the feeling that it was all parted?

Why do I find it difficult to believe in something else?

who spoke which part of the truth and why?

Why am I so confused that wish to die?

Alone in a huge house where everything I once imagined

Got taken away by those who were believed in,

Supported and kept close for a while,

Now they're gone, they'll be gone;

You never had a real chance,

Never were you, given Faith, only strength to overcome...

You stole it if you had to, while producing it: this energy, the fire in your cells!

This magic creature working

Just like always!

The human equation was solved by the greatest mathematician \- guess who!

Why am I a coward,

Why can't I fight?

How come you, in your infinite mercy

Advise me to take my own life?

Why can't I find

Some mercy for myself

Why do I need to struggle some more?

*

Asking questions, Knowing for sure,

Finding new ways,

Learning from you!

#### Why didn't you, why didn't I?

####...

#### fire their homes for good

" _If things have to be the way they have to be then I must be sorry for the past that went wrong_

*

Don't let yourself fooled,

I'm not actually grateful for everything that happened,

I can't!

I shan't!

I know that I should be mostly thankful to myself:

For receiving, for believing, for trying and for giving,

For retrieving, for keeping, for asking and forgiving,

For hating what's to be hated so the world kept going on!

I hate the power of those who make us all accept

To live in misery for the sake of "the top of humanity"

–they should, at least, deserve to be leading!

Got tired of this sorrow, a lot of ugly words

I felt like going down with times I didn't like myself

I didn't want to live

Perhaps my cold behaviour was perfectly,

the right thing,

balanced – they made it, I was depressed without showing

more than I was willing to show;

How else could I have gathered my horses, my forces back

For another round?

How else could someone go on with the life they always felt they didn't belong to anyway!?

It was a long-long stay! I should have been wiser – Please don't make me live that again!

I thought I was wiser and stronger than them: The power of stupid can be brilliant.

Did you ever wonder why? well don't!

You might just be surprised how brilliant they really are inside!

They hide.

"In a parallel world to what we all know as real

life is all about robotics and robots creating the lifestyle

we no longer live: they have replaced us with better models,

they look pretty real!

I could see myself as something else, I saw some friends...

Familiar faces and you!

You were there too!

They also have the nightmarish version: a memory of what's not acceptable

In a society that's clean and wonderful.

  * The humans can be proud of themselves now since they offered themselves the chance to live forever precisely the lives they always wanted to live but couldn't because of prides and glories of their own faults. We made all their dreams come true. Here, is yourself as a doctor; there is yourself as a teacher, here is you as the architect you dreamed to be! An awful job we had though thinking about the sides of your gift as an actor or actress – it's about different versions, prototypes we're still working on – see? Here, you are quite a figure and you are famous! There you're just some girl playing the lousy parts in a show... but there is hope, don't panic! Some people... sorry, robots... have to climb their mountains on the other path. You shouldn't worry, we made them all honourable and dignifying for your personal pride.... Ah, yes! Here you are in some of your ugliest nightmares too! And here is you in some of ours! No worries! You cannot feel a thing... can you?

  * No, she answered coldly.

  * Good. See? Robotics is fun to watch. Now, let me show you what is our greatest work so far!

  * Why do I have the impression that you are not going to show me that one!?... You did a pretty good job though: using the nightmarish life of the robot only for illustrating the concept.

  * Sure, sure... we were great there! Your attitude is quite peculiar! Most people react with a lot of passion and a lot of grip!

  * They're killing themselves without knowing it... in the attempt to save what's left of them... in the innocent attempt to make it worth somehow. I that pathetic attempt of ours to prevent you from taking our souls away to serve as dinner to these robots and your pathetic experiments.

  * You call this pathetic but you know what we created! We had some of them infiltrated into the world of shame...

  * Is it a shame to be human?

  * You know what I mean! You are fighting one another and are forced to fight for what you want, for what you are... forced to recover, forced to go to a... oh, bad language coming from your world! Anyway! You do understand what I mean.

  * Why do I have this impression that you guys learned how to manipulate us into getting there, to that land of our shame?

  * Sometimes we do that too, he little man giggled. We're pretty advanced, you see?

  * You are boring! They're still robots and...

  * Just wait until you see... this:

A door was open sideways and they entered the place where nothing looked much different than a fancy bar where friends seemed to have a nice time. People were talking naturally, having a beer, a cocktail or an announcement to make.

  * Darling, would you please stop? The little man said to a waitress. Now watch this, straight to the visitor.

  * Yes, please! How may I help you?

  * Will you cut yourself wide open so she can see?

  * Are you crazy?

  * Of course, sir!

  * And so, she did. The bones were made of steel, the flesh god knows of what but the blood looked, felt and scented just like the real one. She felt nausea coming to pay a visit.

  * See why you couldn't get to be a doctor as the human you are?

  * And why is that? I was not thinking about saving robots but parts of that human kind you're trying to lose!

  * We're trying to save it! You didn't react in time. At least you didn't faint like the other one! The little man spoke through his teeth angrily.

  * So, for when the transfer?

  * What transfer, he asked as if awaken from his hateful grin.

  * The transfer of my being! I suppose you're not that good to make me feel and be as good as the most wonderful robot you only imagined, never got to create!

  * Oh, you can be so annoying!

  * I know! Shouldn't I be proud of that?

  * No, you shouldn't! You should be ashamed! I'm offering you the nicest thing you could ever have! Remember my word: You were not designed to stay at home and bake cookies!

  * I know...

  * No, you don't! You think that what you do now is a carrier, for a carrier! But the truth is, you're doing nothing but baking sweets for those sweet hearts you will never meet!

  * Reincarnation? Is that possible?

  * What? Where?

  * How could you breed...?

  * Oh, yes! They are... awesome, so to speak!

  * And you are amazing darling.

  * Only too sweet!

  * They both smile equally strong! - without traces of love or warmth in their blood; their blood is clean.

  *   * Did you think that I was going to end here?

  * A sliding door got open once more and this time they were taken by a wireless elevator up to the sky where a scraper was waiting forever to be visited and admired.

  * Then the little man vanished.

  * You used to be different; you used to be warn and passionate... what happened to you?

  * I caught a cold.

  * No, you didn't! What happened?

  * My guess?

  * Ad personal as always!

  * The world... this world... mixed with the other world... and something out of any world made this occur. And now I am cold... Almost like a robot down there.

  * We need to get you to a place that is nice and warm.

  * Sure! Let's do that too. Why not? Oh, did I caught a virus from that old man?

  * Yep! He is a big fellow inside.

  * As great as his work.

  * Yes, one might say so. Why is he not reflecting more than just...?

  * You must know that the great work of people doesn't necessarily speak about their greatness; there are times when the work of a great man reflects his incapacity of empathy, his fears, his mince world from which he tries to escape.

  * I'm afraid that he is nothing about being kind or great! He is all about fame and greed.

  * You think so? Look at him! Do you think that anyone loved this man? What's to love about him? He is cold and arrogant and foolish sometimes being cruel to everyone ~: He was created this way so he cannot apply his forces on matter and become the murderer he always was.

  * Oh! That's must be the brilliance of nature... the trouble is, he used his mind to do so!

  * Aren't we dead now? We weren't supposed to speak about all this aloud. In fact, we aren't allowed even to think it through. Yet, still we are here... they didn't shoot us like we would expect them to do.

  * Oh, God! Thank you!

  * Why the sarcasms, why the lack of faith in what we do?

  * Because I am tired of being this fool! I'm not happy, Rob. I'm not happy at all! I lost that power of being happy and smile my ways through – just like an idiot not knowing what she's dealing with, why and for whom.

  * You'll have to do it for yourself if not for other people. But you're not like that! You're one of those who keep waking-up in the morning with the hope that she might just be able to put herself on the track and make something useful for a world that's now dead... the world is dead. I'm sorry to say this! I'm sorry for killing your hopes and dreams now. You wanted to help and you did. There's nothing that we can do about it. I'm sorry!

#### Am I evil?

No come-back

Too early, too late;

No times of past that I wanted to relive:

It was all in my head, all in my head!

Do we really need all this only to drop dead?

Where is that mission, the purpose and the meaning:  
in my head, in my head,

Those things I called life,

the buds that will bloom one day in this night

Those wrecked walls, houses and gates

Of a dying soul;

Those times we hold dear to, we cannot forget.

All the magic of the stubborn that inspired us... all dead, all dead...

Don't want to live for nothing!

Don't want to be dead

Before this life-pathetic gets me somewhere.

Don't want to hold dear to what's hurtful in my past,

Our past was all the legacy to learn from and believe

We can create some contexts.

You blame the contexts some create,

Those buildings, empires and cultures

Were all made with sacrifices you now take advantage of,

Built your life upon...

And I am dead, don't want to be dead inside...

Too early, too late;

No comebacks to the times that left my soul be ruined.

Don't look behind, don't say goodbye, just leave.

I'll never blame someone who dared to believe!

Do I think, do I feel?

No one seemed to actually care.

Do I know, do I want to know?

Is this all that I can become?

  * A ghost creating ghosts -

  * Ideas to fulfil the dreams of other people.

  * It's good to know that I've been useful.

Don't want to live for nothing,

Don't try to lie to yourself!

Walking it out is not going to help this time.

You'll find me in my work, my recreation and my fun,

Those memories I built for you to hold on to something beautiful.

You'll find me in my work, you'll find me in my broken spirit

Believing that it will never be for nothing at all.

All in my head, it was all in my head,

Don't want to live for nothing

Do we really need to go through all this only to drop dead?

#### Perhaps I do not know about love as much as I wish

Those little birds playing in the trees, bringing comfort to the place we used to live

are gone with the warmth of the crib they are hiding in.

I must be missing them and the sensation of being carefully taken away from trouble,

Protected by your love,

I always felt secure

Now everything I hope and need

Is to be stronger than the iron shield and armour

Of all heroes

Coming down to us from a burned by times and eyes old Universe,

Some lonely hearts

And fired by the gangs of funny friends – out of cartoons and comic-strips

They come to us.

Now we can imagine being strong enough.

  * You have all your life ahead! you are so young! I heard her say

  * But I was feeling down again

  * Oh, don't you love this stupid childhood feel?

  * I guess this nothing doesn't need to be interpreted as real.

  * I want it out and off the table,

  * Turned into something else perhaps;

  * I'm such a child believing that if others can...

  * Why couldn't I?

  *   * Well... others had their friends

  * I must have built the wrong ones for myself!

  *   * These lives we build on fantasies

  * Supporting our times of strong emotions,

  * Turned into dust and ashes

  * In the name of justice,

  * Give us nightmares to use in those stories written, read and told

  * To the entire world

  * for our saviours.

  *   * What if I become one of them? What if I tried?

  * What if I gathered forces creating the courage to say "Hi"?

  * What if I say.../ didn't I say:

  * Goodbye?

  * What if

  * I was a real friend

  * Instead of this... traveller

  * In search for the light

  * Of a candle,

  * Of a stone,

  * Of a leaf on the grass that is asking for more life

  * From the sun

  * – if only you didn't stay in the way, a group of leaves,

  * upset with the shadow I brought upon them,

  * show their discomfort

  * in their peculiar silent form of protest.

  *   * Their lives are so short! their death is just happening;

  * It could be so beautiful!

  * They're right – I am standing in the way of their perfect time to rest.

  * The warm waves of light descend upon the leaves as I leave them all behind

  * So, they can have the loveliest times

  * Rewind.

#### The orders have been clear

?

_Aaaaa_ h (like a chant, it's the beginning of a song)

The orders have been clear enough!

I keep being told stories on how ugly and awful I'll get

If I keep being of any help!

If I stay, if I do, if I share something with you,

If I offer and I make something,

Perhaps love,

Maybe only a gesture of hope

Creating more

Hope

Keeping one on the right track

Or on the move they need, they want.

I keep being told the monster I'll become

For doing something wrong...

The right thing would be to take advice from the queens who happened to make for themselves

Other kind of regrets they don't regret having;

They never did.

Perhaps they did.

Why won't you leave and take another chance

You can afford it,

I happen to know and be sure of it.

Why won't you do something for your own pathetic self?

Why won't you, pesky friend?

The answers in my sadness just sent me to this heaven

I don't know how to adjust to

Because I just imagined it

Quite different.

I look outside the window: it's all white, what's wrong, now?

Nothing! It's white, and cold and rich in its sparkling miracles;

Under the grey whites of the cover of dull windy flocks

These skies keep making us all move around for presents.

To abound, to abound with laughter and joy,

Together

Alone, never alone.

Abundance in hopes for our better futures – the kicks are ready to be offered

By these feelings we carry inside;

I'm gonna' kick my ass so hard that I'll get to do something

Extraordinary this time!

Don't tell me you don't like this!

You should most certainly love it...

At least care for

And take into consideration

The lovely thought.

Admiring this piece of a plot I'm working on

I'll get to the cold vision later

So, I can see how all this truly looks like.

I wonder if it matters; to whom and why, for what?

I wonder if there's still hope for

A different, perfect round.

?

#### I wanted too much to believe

  * If I would have wanted you to leave this world with dignity

  * I would have helped!

  * If I really cared about you and not me, for what I want to be myself

  * I wouldn't have provoked to you too much pain.

  * If I loved you, I wouldn't have made your life a living hell.

  * If I knew what all that meant... you wouldn't be living when dead.

  *   * How much hatred do I have to put in what I do to make you realize that you were not welcome anymore in my team?

  * How much sorrow do I need to cause to you and your people, to your behaviour?

  * How much tears do you want to shed

  * In the name of some miraculous help?

  * How many ideas are there to be refreshed,

  * Told to our lands and shores

  * So, you forgot and bled?

  * Why did I want to believe in you?

  * What made me think that you were an artist too?

  * I am, only a bad one, mean! The evil coils under my skin!

  * What made me see a potential escape from the terror of the past?

  * Why do you like so much to remember us about the wars inside? We were

  * If I would have cared for your pathetic causes

  * I would have been there!

A war is never pathetic, though, only traumatising and stupid to the ones who didn't win, the ones who didn't gain anything!

#### Now I have to believe in myself, once again

Why should I cry for saying how things are?

Why would I cry for your sins?

Why should I cry for seeing through the veils you all make shine?

Why should I suffer for seeing, on a white screen,

The projections of my mind happening?

Why should I be punished for imagining?

Why should I shed some more tears for all the imagined things that happen-didn't happen?

We all have nightmares or dreams that we carry along on the strings,

On ropes, we dance and hope for the best.

No nightmare should be lived:

I must have devoured it!

I had to let it out: oh, the fault now! The fault!

Ropes devouring the screens that are not happening,

Killer ropes,

They must have hated us

For what we couldn't achieve!

  * Forgive, please, forgive...! It wasn't our goal for you to be gone too soon!

#### In you, my strength, beloved Saviour

From the past that I lived all good things shall be shared

to the ones who dare to be kind and forgiving,

To the ones who learned better and were helped,

To the ones who actually care.

From my past, all that's right will be shared:

when you'll need something, go ask to someone who cares.

I asked from god and what I received was this,

Perhaps I didn't know how to move and dance

On the stage of this city

I ended up hating as much as I loved it:

She needed to get out for a change, that's all.

She needed to find her peace,

The price wasn't probably cheap

But she asked for the right thing.

What did you ask for in return?

To punish us all?

What for? Can't be life good for us all?

Are we that evil or we were only dragged in confusion

By someone who didn't learn what I learned but wanted to take it away from your son?

Am I angry, confused? I do not know but I want her to get what she deserved.

Because... just because!

May I please have the power and the strength to move one?

May I say goodbye to it all if this was just for you guys having fun on my expense?

It was my time and I'll get where?!

It was probably that time for me to speak loud and say something.

It was probably a lot of passion going on

For what I was doing

Thinking that there was a chance

For me to do something with it...

Who isn't a sheep, who isn't a cow?

We're treated like that in turns

We get treated as pigs or told so, we laughed

And for that your society created a lot of jobs

To be embraced by the kids, the pigs and sheep, the bulls and cows of tomorrow.

Just think: Where did you get all the money to do this for your kid?

I am upset with you, you all lived your lives as humans and if eating and sleeping is a sin,

Working will be your sorrow

for nothing will be my standards given to you!

Give me the money to get out of here and live if you appreciate me!

then I should be upset with all of you!

'Whoever messed with you and me messed with the Holy Spirit indeed!'

We're part of the same idiotic belief

That life is too short to bother for anyone else but our own miserable state of living

For which we have to be thankful to the great men ruining our lives and our countries

While using our women for nothing!

That's why! No Wars!

I prefer this kind of a behaviour!

#### The Miracle of Joy Night

Music can walk through fire,

music touches the stones and their woods,

music is the spirit that walks through walls and souls

making them live.

Music catches fire, can lit it too and blow

the flames into the air,

They throw their cinders and tell

About the miracle of life.

All music can make things happen again forever

different than ever.

On waves, they make happen

The streams of light and hope, the sounds of an illusion,

The seaside-bumping cusps ephemeral;

It's music happening through all this fire of the spirit in a soul.

Father, what means love to you?

What do you care for and why did you hate her, your girl?

Father, is she a miracle?

It is music that saves her, it is music and love!

It is someone who cared and loved her enough

To get her out of the hell you couldn't support!

Are you insane, father? What went wrong!?

Wasn't it all in your head, trying to murder her

For getting to late

Back home from the library!?

What's wrong!? What went wrong?

It is music that saves her, it is music and love.

Dear, Father, she is a miracle!

Don't hate her, don't beat her,

she'll be your surprise!

You were supposed to offer her goods or say forever goodbye!

The lady can handle thing pretty well!

I'm sorry for being such a cruel girl from the future!

Don't make her die inside!

Don't kill the good spirit!

One day you'll need to be rescued and then

You'll probably get somewhere;

It is called nowhere and you'll have to offer

What you took away:

Her spiritual beauty!

You'll get down for this in shame and you'll pray for forgiveness:

Forever! Do you understand!?

Now thank you for being such a great saviour!

It is music that will save her beautiful soul,

It is music that will save his wonderful human soul!

It is music that saves, not the words you embrace!

The words, these words all dance to the waves of music!

Our brains can make love happen!

The job was hard to get done...

All destinies accomplishing one by one!

The job was hard to get done,

The job was insecure,

Still this job is going to save another mom

From crushing all the good spirits from head to toe,

From up-head

To the dust of dawn!

It's music that's saving, it is music that's fair

Music is the old spirit that can treat you well;

Music is forgiveness, music is what's real,

Inside your mind, inside your heart, the fight will go on

as long as you have feelings.

Stop feeling and think,

The answers always live inside the building

that searches for the questions

generating questions.

From up-head to the dust of dawn,

Music will be saving everyone.

For the right thing to do is always wrong:

We can feel, we can believe in whatever we are!

And we're tight-up free to be wrong.

#### Night of a Thousand Thoughts

How can we feel so ugly and old when too young a spirit

Going on

Inside our bodies

Reflecting nothing but painful love for joy.

The joy of life of someone too young to be left behind.

Was it the memory,

Was it some lie?

Was it the need to make-up and die

For the sake of the love of another gal or guy?

Today I felt like doing something nice for a change.

I have no clue, don't ask me why,

I probably didn't think, only reacted as society expects us to do:

People need to be offered hope too.

How can we feel that the world is ours when there's nothing around us

Than pain;

The suffering joy of those hating our guts,

Our lives,

Our miraculous stands...

Our hearts and our minds;

Oh, their love will suffice

To be

Either kind or hurtful.

Today I felt like doing something terrible,

Something so sweet that event for the sweetest sweets

could be unbearable,

something extraordinary,

something that brings

colour back to some of the screens of these cities we live.

How can I trust myself when I care too much for the pain of other people,

Some I don't know,

I should probably never bother for?

I should be probably grateful

For having such feelings;

I should be grateful now, for not feeling:

Today I felt like saying a prayer,

crying then make of my work the best of prayers;

what could I possibly think of?

Most certainly not the world:

I am shallow enough not to think so and deep enough to obey

To the rules of mundane

Rulers.

Am I living the lie of just about any sinner?

Today came with the rivers shed last night:

Why would I be still wondering why?

Wasn't it obvious?

Isn't it enough?

Tonight, I'll be standing all night up

For

Finding

Four

Fleeting stars!

Admiring you all just like a poet of all stars!

One thousand love stories in the night of Parnassus,

Pleiadian warmth, Pleiadian coldness inside:

Intense Empresses States of Spirit and Chime!

Night of a thousand and more thoughts,

Charming emphasis on hopes

And no spacing:

Solely one thousand and more dreams to accomplish

Than anyone could have dreamed of.

"Fill my heart with true love: Brilliant sun travelling

through space and Time!

Time! Time! Time. time.... time..."

I'll be standing all night up, tonight!

For

Finding

Four

Fleeting stars

Is the loveliest job of the much-loved hero!

Admiring you all just like a poet of all stars!

Just like before!

#### Come-back of Filth

_It was fine!  
You see?  
This stupid life you sentenced me to...  
You didn't have to make any point,  
Didn't need to show this to me!  
Since I already knew.  
_

*

Hello buggie-buggie bug.  
\- No God of mine is unfair to anyone.  
Matters of pride?  
Sure! We all have some pride to make us stand up with more or less dignity. Isn't that a proof of something of a divine origin working through us?

*

Now, that I know how betrayal feels  
I can appreciate even more what you did for our country,  
For the family, for us!  
To be safe in your homes,   
Embraced by your loved one,  
To be taken care of and be cared for like this!  
And to say that you never knew me...

*

#### The Jaws of a Dashing Unicorn-Shark

I am too happy for the life I lived,   
I am so sure that you wouldn't trade yours for mine, Dotty!  
Not in a million years or so...

Oh, no, no, no!  
But when love's all around one's tempted to keep enjoying, keep going on;  
When love is filling your soul  
Confidence steals all your problems away

"She poisoned your sweets and your coffee,

the next morning, the fair witch: why did you have to murder her,

your kid?

She'll poison your life, she will kill you next time,

if you dare to touch one single hair of hers, now!

Why should I cry for you?  
Why should I pray!?

All the answers that were lying inside my soul

speaking square-fair!

She'll poison your sweet-hearts,

she'll make you believe

in the right thing!

I do know what I did wrong: trying to be your equal!

I'm sorry for this, mom! I made you cry!

The truth is I never wanted to be the equal of anyone!

I was only looking for myself,

Sometimes trying to be there for you too,

For other people:

you must know how much I loved this behaviour of the stupid we are!

Philosophers and thinkers doing the useless jobs for the dark prince

Who would gladly let us starve ourselves to death or learn how to kill,

How to dance with the devil for a bloody piece of pie

So, that saints come to us and teach us how wrong was everything we did:

to fall into this temptation of eating and drinking with moderation:

The dull and stupid!

I'm sorry for not being your good kid anymore, mother, dear!

I grew tired of the nicest type of behaviour

Now I want everything: all the fancy, all the goods, the finest foods!

The amazing dresses, the most wonderful cruises:

All the rest of the things to accomplish in life: foolish!

We must be some awful animals to dare to do that!

I'm sorry for not being your good kid anymore;

I grew tired of the nicest type of behaviour.

When things were growing wild and troubling

And life feels incomplete,

I get myself into the uncomfortable position to confess that

My lie wasn't as sweet as I imagined myself capable of creating.

Another lucky guess: I wasn't able to find the ones with whom to do that:

Sorry!

At least allow me to write the sweetest story on earth:

You'll find there everything you want!

#### Another Mind to treat with something Sweet

I told the truth and bad things happened,

I spoke all the lies I could tell and miracles smiled back,

From the frames, world-wide spread

On the Internet!

What went wrong?

Why wasn't I allowed to enjoy this place that means nothing to you!?

This place from which I would have gladly found my way out;

This place was not for me... I hated all your envies!

All gods united, missing one,

The one who didn't find his crown,

The crown was stolen by a fool

Who had no clue, no awful clue,

About the dangers or their fun,

About their laughter or this crown...

It's only an illusion said, the fool who's wearing this great hat

And she's the _worder_ -wonder -trick

Of lovely things making man-kind believe

In this love infinite.

I told the truth and miracles began happening,

Somebody who worked a lot received the most beautiful life

One could have ever dreamed for!

I told the truth and someone deserving and honest got to carry on

With the fight for something beautiful.

I told the lying truth and everything started scaring the ugliness

Out of: The Thing!

All gods united, missing one,

The one who's looking for a crown

The very place it used to belong to a queen.

A crusader, you might think

'You'll never get her out of here: she deserves better,

Better treatment, not what you are seeking

To give to her;

What you imply makes us die of shame and sorrow.'

All gods united, she's a star

and feels alright with who you are!

She is the wonder-worder-trick

Making all love appear to be sick,

Making man-kind start to believe

In dangers of the fun we took

On the fools' crown.

Not everything is good

We are the children of hell.  
Our mother keeps punishing us  
As we keep punishing ourselves for what seems unfair.  
We love her but hate her guts and her charming

'no, that's bad for you' or 'that is wrong'  
And deep inside we look for some ways to make it on our own

A Celtic dream I once remembered having,

when medieval times were brought to life   
On the main streets of an old citadel  
Where things are safely brought back to passion every time:  
The Season of Fantasy bringing back

Not everything is good though:

Someone should be there teaching us

How to learn things and what to watch out for!

Why won't you like a really good teacher?

It seemed to me that you preferred the ugly and unfaithful one

Against the call, against the artist, against the future of man-kind,

The Universe and the development of life!

Why don't you like the school of our lied better:

It will be fine! Everything will be just fine! Fine! Fine!

_Like_ , Miss Fine!

A Celtic dream I once thought I knew,

Has helped me think things through!

The camera in my hands: no film, no worries... I need something else!

Why am I losing my time this way!?

There's no way for me to be there!

We are the children of hell,

Our mother keeps punishing us

for we dared to believe in something beautiful!

It does feel unfair:

I never trusted things coming from her,

except for some kind gestures!

"What's wrong?" seems to be an improvement.

'I need to get there but I don't have the strength to go on!'

One Celtic dream I once thought I believed in is gone

And I am going to start chasing its sun.

The times of the princess you said that I was,

All those lies, were for somebody else

To believe in.

You didn't mean to hurt her, I know, I know!

You didn't mean to hurt me!

Oh, I know! Believe me, I know!

We are the children of life,

That life where everything's more than Miss Fine, just fine!

We are the real deal, the real trouble of those lands

That always try to make fun on our so called 'lies'.

We are those children who did get to the understanding of

The importance of living.

What kind of a saint would be willing

to end with the lives that we are all living

in the harmony and peace

They cannot accept as realities?

What kind of a saint is ready to commit any murder

In the name of the Father

Then say goodbye, make us say goodbye forever to what we love,

Always loved,

Always will love;

YOU!

#### You can make it better

The day you'll understand is the day you die;

I sure hope that you're living what's called either life or lie:

Much better is now for us to decide on both track how to belong;

I needed my fun-time, I needed my tears,

I needed to discover that I can truly progress

With much more than this.

I needed to be serious, I needed to be just

But sometimes impersonating other people

Becomes a thing dangerous

And we fall down on our knees praying for something else,

something that's all about kindness, forgiveness and strength

a burn in which hope is given by true love and faith.

But you can make it better! I know!

Your great family loves you enough,

You knew how to be kind and beautiful, true...

Never-mind my stupid sorrowful tears

It's okay!

I'll ask for some super-powers next time

Since good common-sense started fooling around

For me!

#### Tricks of the Rising Sun

You don't even know how much you helped me!

Now you want me to stop caring for you!  
You want me to forget about all of you!?

You don't even know how much I kept hoping

That one day all these troubles of ours will get us through

The tunnel leading us to what we want:

To be saved to save and find another land to populate

With the newest thoughts.

Memory sequence:

  * I have an idea for our project! It just struck me last night! I had no clue how to make our trouble with the sinking grounds disappear until I remembered something a great engineer once said. Here, I wrote it down as I remembered it then did these sketches! Take a look and tell me what you think! I made some measurements this morning and some researches too; it seems that my idea is quite possible!

  * Everything is possible, my dear! We just have to wish to make it possible!

  * Right! Look into the plans and sketches and call me after you decide if it's good to be done or only good to stay there, on paper.

  * Where are you going!?

  * Oh! I only had a strangely stupid coffee this morning to keep me company with the research; you know how coffee works! I have to grab a bite and work on 'Wonder House'!

  * A ah! 'Wonder House!' Of course! Well... I'll just have to see my engineer to talk about these plans, here! Bon appetite!

  * You too! See you later!

You don't even stop to think about how much you helped me!

Now you want me to believe

In some nonsense stories about you not getting pregnant

With all our working thing.

This baby needs to be carried along,

Helped through and offered a good living too;

Our work is our baby!

Stop losing it on your way to do nothing

For your campaign!

I can't forget how much I loved your smiles,

your buildings and the casting of your lying rays of the sun we all embraced

in a poem!

I can't forget my own lies about the ways I'd love to embrace life the way you do, the way you are, because you had nothing better to do,

Right?

I cannot forget the ways you embraced the idea of fun and laughter

for what's stupid to be laughed at

and enjoy a brilliant joke,

cannot forget about your care and so called love;

enjoy your spirit:

sarcastic and fun.

not willing to hurt anyone:

my spirit too – know!

I will not forget the beauty and magical wonders of true love

For life, for a good thing happening,

Sharing a moment of good magic

And loads of fun!

I won't forget that,

It is my decision to embrace the holiness of life.

This life is wonderful,

It is our gift;

Whoever tried to steal it is moving away because they can.

Whoever tricked into falling like this for nothing

Should be embarrassed

Since she didn't know,

She didn't care

Who's willing or not

To be helpful,

Who's better for real and deserving much better and nicer studios;

Who's going to suffer for some piece of a pie that was devoured a long time ago.

Stop bothering for me,

For her!

Stop bothering for him,

Or her.

Stop bothering for us:

We already made it clear when we said that it was over!

It's over, never over,

Over time: over!

Let us have fun;

Come on!

Get back on the wings of our fun!

Don't be hysterical baby!

It's gone!

All troubles: just gone!

Find someone else to expect you to fall for another illusion;

It seems to me that was the job of your life,

The one you never had,

This illusion: we were all entitle to live and enjoy.

Nothing and no one hurt us so bad for trying!

Huh!? Really!

Oh, lying mirrors of mine,

Why am I not living the most beautiful lie in the world, right now.

I can't hate your world, your world is part of my world,

Our world

Some may say: _not anymore_

Perhaps they don't, they did not understand,

But hey!

How is this not them saying that they prefer to be left behind?

How is this them saying that they didn't care for you,

For your life:

Decisions.

Some do stick around,

Stick around!

I hope you'll enjoy all the fun

That's coming around

For everyone!

#### Filthy Treatments

I can see how sorry you were for me,

Making me feel lower and filthier than the filthiest things on Earth

You could not accept nor respect.

I can see how sorry you were for me,

Making me cry for the sorrows you've been through and through my failures;

Yes, I failed being like you,

I'm like you: I was only a human!

I can see how sorry you feel, I can feel...

My senses never judged better the love you have felt for me!

I can see how much you suffer,

If you suffer for me you suffer for yourself;

If you care for me, you care for yourself...

Help me and you're going to help yourself;

The ways you need help can differ.

Take your alien and run, hide, draw a line or two!  
Take your alien and fly, learn how to behave or how to defy

All laws of gravity!

Take your alien and walk away from troubles,

Become too hot to be bearable;

Hot steel,

A dangerous humanoid star

Among people.

Get your alien and go for the stars!

#### We're going on a trip down to Felix

I am confused now: Wasn't this the plan?!

Making me less and less aware?

Leading me to nothing,

Showing me that my faith

Was nothing but a bunch of withered flowers

Coming from a hypocrite?

I am very confused, now:

What was I supposed to learn?

How to make it in the haze of my lost dreams and plans?

How to keep my mind open or how to close it well,

Buckle-up and hang out there!

*

I am awfully confused, now!

I must be very ashamed!

The messages were all about us

Not getting to be great!

It was too soon, was it at noon when I learned all about it?

I guess I was distracted by the idea

of living a little life,

they were all bragging about

forever.

I'm all confused now! What is to choose from used to find answers in me,

Now they seem to try to confuse and lose my spirit;

I wonder: what if, someday, the spirit unites us all forever and takes us all away!?

What if, one day, this spirit will desert their places,

The ones they couldn't care for or take care of properly!?

What then!?

All good magic gone

...

You'll find yourselves dead without

the art of love!

*

**

#### I wasn't there: To You!

#### Sweet toys for resurrection

What is wrong with your woman?

Why isn't she satisfied with her life?

Why did she, attack me,

Why did you?

Out of love,

Was it the love for her that pushed you to stab me in the back;

Oh, wow! The entire pack! That's wonderful!

It must have been for the love you had for her!

That is admirable! Extremely admirable, I must admit.

This treatment on my back! A very nice one,

The nicest one keeping me proud

As hell!

You found your peace, you found your happiness;

You managed to find the fulfillment brought by accomplishments

Of your sweetest dreams!

What went wrong, dear?

Was I playing it all too well?

#### We need to believe in something!

Filth!

Why are we taught and trained in schools?

So, we don't dream for more than we have?

So, we don't work for more,

So, we don't get what we deserve?

Why are we trained and taught is schools for?

So, we don't take an example and try to adjust it to our needs?

Why did you have to be so extreme, asking me to go extreme?

Filthy filth!

This knowledge is all over your face,

Expressed through the power of your grace!

This love for the world we all left behind

Only to return to it, one more, and another time,

For a quest, exploration,

Our need to combine, recombine the new passages of time

On a tide

That still shows wonderful.

Why are we doing whatever we do?

Because we care too!

Filthy strength!

Love for power, for the money we need!

Love for dance, for the sake of a dancing trouble.

Love for the reality that cannot become real

For nobody's there to fulfil her dream!

Fear of getting hunted

Just like a deer:

Now why did I become a vegetarian

And not a lawful disastrous peer?

My, oh my! This knowledge of mine,

All over my face,

Why meets Y

I meeting the Eye!

Oh, my! My, oh, my!

What a song, new and divine:

Not tiered,

Not tiring me down

My-my!

Fear of getting feared by the hunted.

#### Somewhere in the middle

It used to time for school; I was up and away, the birds singing through their flight, me falling over and over again with the idea that I am going to be prepared for something extraordinary! School was fun; school was attractive, school was a cure I was yearning for! It was the place in which my heart was putting all hopes and dreams; the place to crush it and crush them all, the place to give back glimpses at the future and start fires for passions that were unknown to me, back then. School was the place where I could imagine myself living a life not the continuous sadness that was haunting my soul, on and on, restlessly coming back to me for some more illusions to feed the thirsty ghosts with. School was my secret place for hopes to be raised well; hopes for a future that keeps bettering itself – but where am I? I should have been there, bettering the future, participating to its creation! I should have been living the dream, any dream, any possible dream... So many possibilities!

Here I am, remembering the girl I used to be, the sad soul keeping her illusions up and her hopes hidden deep down inside – they shouldn't see them. They shouldn't learn about them, my hopes and dreams! Never say a word when asked. Keep them all a secret and run, runaway from everyone! Never reveal if you don't have the courage to suffer for who and what you are... for what and who you wanted to be.

Why do you keep preaching, why do you keep teaching people, why do you create schools and send children and people to schools if they aren't allowed to dream and do something about their dreams? Why do you keep preaching? For whom? What is there to learn from 'not admiring' and 'not wishing to become'?

Nothing. Things just got distorted and one gets punished for what one was destined to be punished for: dreaming of something big.

"I destined you to be nothing but a hoe,

You still didn't get it!

I destined you to lose yourself with your gifts and your sorrowful acts

And beliefs

Giving hope to others

...

giving your hopes to others. "

Give me your tears and the power to do

something with and about them!

Give me your tears, don't give me your tears:

I loved you,

Loved him,

I love you!

Give me your tears,

never give me your tears for nothing!

The science in those tears

Still haunting the world.

Give me your tears so I can make something

To believe in and be lived

With sane hopes.

I'm not sorry,

Don't give me fake hope,

Don't give me your tears and your rope,

I still love you!

Do give me your tears,

I'll have the power of will to do something:

I will extract it from within,

From the choices, we all made

To share and talk about it.

Your paintings, your thoughts written or told,

Spoken and shown,

They all speak to me!

They all give to me!

Music was supposed to offer the road to sanity!

The road to the family of our hearts!

These poets, all in love with the music

In true hearts!

Give me my tears back,

give me your tears and let us do something about them!

Heartfelt poems, illustrations that speak

And music;

When everything moves on your rhythms everything lives!

Give me your tears,

Don't give me those tears

Which aren't helpful!

Give me your tears, I'll always be near,

I'll always be happy in love with you!

#### Anything?

Strange love, this creature's spirit haunting us for what she could never achieve. I wonder why is that? Someone said that there was a problem somewhere with the family she had. Wrong family! How many stories out there with people from the 'wrong' families getting where they wanted, getting to be happy! Getting somewhere!

How many people with their love and passion in mind kept on going, finding rest in something that offers more energy to the world than one could imagine. How many stories left untold, of those people creating miracles every day now; real people making the real adventure happen!

How many people entitled to succeed no matter what and you talk about roots and the right or wrong family. There is no right or wrong family to get out of or find! There is only paying visits to those we were either cursed to spend time with or blessed to be with. There must have been a mistake somewhere, in the middle or when taken to the edge; there must have been some error I made if I got lost for the heavens that were not mine to take and sentenced to the prison-time that wasn't mine to take.

Yes, it feels late to be able to 'bloom' at the age that should have offered me the best of times. It feels late to me. Am I being punished for the little make-up I dared wearing!?

Trust me! You wouldn't like this world in which we're daring! Not without the proper shield and armour! Not without the proper tools and weapons.

A shield of Light I asked and thought I had it

Now it's lost.

I'm here, refusing to accept

The forever song

~ is it in my mind or you're still writing on that ~

Medieval recurrence

_re-currency pays_

always aware, being in love

with the idea of fame

the fame I keep learning about!

How could I say this?

Your awesome instructions,

News, knowledge and ironies,

Works of the opossums getting displayed

On the walls of fame

In those schools, you are haunting.

The miracle, the flame, the enchantment!

~is it in my mind or you're still working on that~

Wonder!

#### The Anti-Civilizator

The anti-civilizator is near – too fast, too early, top now!

It was, perhaps, too fast for you and your world,

Not for mine!

The anti-civilizator is waiting to make-up with his life,

'Just stop pretending that you wanted to be all mine!"

The anti-civilzator does not want you to learn what's fine;

It is better to him and some if you didn't begin

To learn.

The anti-civilazator is doing fine;

He was entitled to his development

Stealing and cheating,

mistreating

The kind.

#### Wrong being Wrong

How could you not love your people for what they do, they are?

Just like our pesky little kids and training dogs,

They make us feel and laugh and move on!

Wrong being wrong, right,

Wrong being right!

Right being wrong, now,

Right, always be right!

How could you hate your people for not being right there

When they were there;

Why couldn't you move down to them?

What makes you feel so special? What makes you think you're great?

What gives you all the confidence and strength?

Who helped you stay like this

And make more of this pie?

Who is in love with the idea of having fun?

Wrong being wrong, right,

Wrong being right!

Right being wrong, now,

Right, always be right!

On your expense, we'll all be having

The times of our lives.

Goodbye, goodbye, your _hello_ 's say goodbye.

You keep telling me that I'm the loser,

Keep making me feel like I do!

Keep saying that I was the loser,

The loser must be you!

Keep making me uncomfortable,

With everything I was:

It seems to me that You were only hating me.

These ways in which you love me: peculiar!

#### In something we must trust

"These ways, these many ways!

These ways in which you show me love: peculiar!"

If I were to tell and say something to my younger self from the future, advice to give, something to believe in, maybe some comfort I'd...

I would probably leave something behind.

Searching for the one.

One church, One God and one World!

Where are you my Lord!?

Am I blind?

Why can't I see you at all?

Why do I feel your spirit: cold,

Wiping my tears,

Holding me near,

Carrying me through my troubles despair!?

How come, your light, cold as a pill

Eases the pain they're causing?

The secret of your ingenious inversions

All ruined.

If you're doing something,

you're doing it for yourself!

One church, one God and multiple myths

people have always believed in

and spoke about.

The angels are angels,

Saints remain saints;

I need to be myself again!

I'm sorry, you can hate me for everything that I am

When complete!

I'd rather be hated by my guts to be myself in my entirety!

If you're doing something,

you're doing it for yourself!

One church, one power, one World;

Where are you, My Lord!?

My Love!

He is constantly looking for the one,

Not looking for you anymore!

The secret of your ingenious inversions,

All ruined!

If you're doing something,

you're doing it for yourself!

I will always love true love and the idea of love!

If there is no God, then I'll invent one!

I need to believe in something superior to man-kind.

Did they evolve now and need no guidance at all?

Can we treat them as our equals?

Have they learned what they were supposed to learn?

Help!

#### Am I going mad for nothing?

I'm getting the message, the irony here,

Am I being mad, for nothing or only aware

Of being nothing to the world:

no money, no shame;

No money, no fame;

No money, no hopes;

No money, no more ropes to drag and drop:

To imagine all the fun, we could have had!

Kids laugh.

What can be done,

When you feel not much choice you were given?

Things seem to be wrong,

Still running for an ideal world!

What can be done when one feels?

There's nothing much to do,

The choices were chosen for you:

What can be done!?

Your places to stay, all chosen by a friend or a neighbour;

Where is that freedom?

In you?

Your belief... in what can one believe

But in the remembrance of the future we were promised

That we can make

~Together~

The past and present that we can use to make a change.

#### As usual: I'm wrong!

_Once upon a time:_ to love, to dance to fly.

Once upon a lifetime: to dance, to draw, to cry and laugh

Sometimes at the same time,

Sometimes

Loud.

There was this little girl who loved being right,

loved doing everything right

and never failed.

Once upon a time

The miracle of the tide

Helped through.

There was this little boy who loved being right,

loved doing everything right

and never failed.

Once upon a time it was all about some miracle.

At least I was here for you,  
Just in case you needed me to.  
I don't know you, you don't know me,   
We have never met before,  
This is the only bond I was allowed to pray for.'  
Ask a blonde.

Was I there for you?

I must be wrong...

I probably was never there where I should belong to.

Was I here for you?

I don't think so!

I'm learning day by day that everything that I'm doing

Is done for myself

And not for everyone else!

Was I caring and sweet?

I don't remember,

I have no clue if that was the right thing to do.

Why do we pay for this type of things?

Or beloved and lovely behaviour fleas.

Why can't we just know

Inside our heart how to be?

Why don't we care

For one another?

At least I was there for you,  
Just in case you needed me to.  
I don't know you, you don't know me,   
We have never met before,  
This is the only bond I was allowed to pray for.'

Once upon a time,

Upon a tide

Upon a miracle

Upon a lifetime

Time

Time

Time

#### Am I... W....?

Why are you punishing her for being young?

Why did you punish me for being so young?

Why couldn't you accept that I was doing fine?

Why would you like us to suffer for your world? For your pride?

Why do I have to be a loser and a plague?

Why do I have to feel this way?

How do you pick us and why?

Was it out of your horrible pride?

Why wasn't I entitled mine?

My pride! Where is my pride? My pride?

You played the cheating game but couldn't make it all the way.

You weren't made to be a woman, real:

They all know how to obey and cheat,

They all lie and betray.

You couldn't make it, anyway,

Goodbye.

You played us all, with your cute face, trying to say something to our face

But were not given the opportunity to show

That you were real!

Real artists are as real as any human being!

You aren't real, you didn't lie and cheat too well,

To be a real one you should learn how to obey

And have some faults so you can show them all

Through your experience.

Why do you want to be a lie, the one that didn't die,

The one who knows it all

And chooses not to fall, not to fall anymore

Into the idea of dirt.

Is it the truth? Can it be true?

Do you need some time to spend alone too

So, that you regrouped?

See why it is better not to be a hero but a saint old devil

Who learned how to live and forgive,

How to embrace one then leave,

How to say goodbye just to say hello

To another lie?

Perhaps another life!

That would have been wrong though.

He's not going to betray himself,

He's always looking for a way to escape;

I'm not going to fall in your traps, I'm trapped already

In this lie I call my life.

He's not going to betray his love for money.

I'm not going to betray mine: we're trying to produce some honey

For the bee hive!

We're not here for your laughing mockery, nor for your pesky little fears,

Or tears!

We were supposed to pay you back some fees.

He's not going to betray his love,

Forever finding hope in what you never hoped for or dreamed of.

He's never going to find peace,

I'll never care more for the things that really matter;

The world is fine without us bothering so much,

Perhaps I'm wondering!

The world is fine, go take some time

For yourself.

Don't do the mistakes that turned me into what I am!

If anything means nothing and nothing turns to everything

Then I must be

Something!

If I don't mean a thing to you perhaps it's for the best to happen to your sin.

If anything shall happen

Just remember

That I wasn't there for a sin

But for our _Father._

If I don't mean a thing to you then I must mean a lot to many!

When everything means nothing

Your heart must be too broken to care for anybody else

But your heart beat.

Please, tell me: does your heart beats for anyone except yourself in this world?

Do you still care? did you ever feel too lonely?

If I don't mean a thing to you then I must mean a lot to everybody, dear!

The many!

#### Back to the Planet called Earth

Why do I feel I don't belong here? I know it's stupid, I should care:

The place is beautiful, I love it, yet I keep feeling all this pain

Inside, my soul is weeping

And I don't know why anymore!

Something is telling me that I might just learn!

I used to know.

Why do I care without a feeling, why do I bother anymore?

Why am I still awaking

If they already made it clear?

Why am I here?

Why do I feel I don't belong here, what happened to the faith I had?

In something haunting me forever

Telling me that I'll get out of here...

this state of mind no one regrets for having

after getting the amazing life they wanted.

Is that real?

Fake houses they show on a TV screen – those aren't real.

Fake people are walking down the streets:

They were never real.

Fake honey, fake bees,

Fake sorrows and fake tears,

Fake joy and laughter and a fake breeze:

Remember all that, real honey?

They used to make us feel when real!

Remember all that, darling?

We used to be real!

Get real!

Get the hell out of here!

Real!

All Real!

#### These Trees

- I want to be there where people are too proud to steal

And learn to become who they want to become.

\- You must be out of your mind.

\- Perhaps you're right, still

I'd rather carry you all inside with me...

I'd rather find a way for us all to move along the way!

I do not want to steal your work and your struggle,

I had mine, you must be sure of all that,

I've been told that you know!

Hurting or not, I'm moving along,

Creating more shadows from which to be able to feed

Our fair prides.

This must be the devil, telling me to be proud enough not to kill the innocent,

Not to do harm to another being...

That didn't do any harm to me!

'Offer strength to those who need it, please!

It's my prayer for the ones who helped me,

Loved me... for whatever parts they loved of me,

Offer them the thankful gifts

They're needing Gs!'

#### Something that follows

How can I say this, Love won't save you, now?

The love of your people's saying goodbye.

How can I spell it out for you,

Only true love can save:

Get off and down from that tree,

You were not made for me,

You were made for sorrow;

Just to know where things will be standing

For you.

The ones who knew what was your problem,

Keeping you from the trouble of getting where you want

Shall be held responsible, my friend,

For as long as you want.

You don't want them to pay, for what they've done;

Oh, well, then why should you get paid for your job, for your work!

Only because we speak and stand for justice in return.

Keep going with faith towards your faith:

All drawn by an idiotic friend and one neighbour.

We all love you here, never doubt that;

This is why we'll remember

Never to show any mercy or care towards you

And your wonderful act: Coward.

Just to be remembered!

Too bad you invested time and energy there for nothing.

Give thanks one more time to your lovely friends!

Then ask for a different prayer.

The prayer for nothing

To create something

For every single teardrop

Your mother shed

For both of you,

For all of you,

For you!

I'm feeling sorry for enlightening you!

#### To be proud

Heads up, looking into the skies of blue,

of purple, of dark-inky blue pearl;

heads up into the skies for the sunset burning sun

to throw whitish cinders on the canvas of your hopes

wishing you all nightmares to be gone!

Heads up and be proud,

You passed into a different life-transition.

Heads up, there's still a long road to work on,

A lot to explore into the world

You didn't have the courage to leave:

Did you ever see The World as it used to be?

: That's beautiful!:

Heads-up! You did it! You lived the dream.

Should I say that I didn't or will this confession

Turn around and against me

For I must have done something wrong again:

I'm sure that you didn't!

Didn't do anything wrong, did ya'?

Keep a memory of me, my friend, if you will,

I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me,

It's okay.

Keep a memory of me, if that's how you feel,

I was never there for anybody.

Keep a memory of me as I keep a memory of you,

Inside my heart we will always be true.

Keep a memory of my face, if you will; next time you might find me

in a different mirror-shield.

Keep a memory of me and the spirit that I was,

Keep me close to your heart, to your eyes if you want;

Keep a memory of who I was,

Who I was got lost somewhere in the past –

Keep a memory of my soul

And rest.

Keep a memory of myself, if you like, dear friend.

You couldn't be there for me, as I needed you, perhaps...

I don't know, I didn't ask for that much, you, know?

Keep a little memory of the tracks on which to dance

At our funerals.

Keep it hidden down, deep down into your heart,

Keep it well behaved into your mind

Helping you find

What you seek for.

Heads up for the next sunshine!

#### Enjoy the Gift of Life

I was trying to be happy for you

I thank the Lord for that!

Forgive me or not

I got the help I needed

And thanked!

A lot.

More _"thank you'_ s" won't help,

You learned it before,

Up there when you were told that

You weren't loved enough for what you want,

No matter what you wanted,

It's over now:

Recreate from the pasts that allow you to be more than

Your sun.

Enjoy the gift of life

While there's still life in you!

Enjoy those rays of the sun cast upon

the clings and twists of the rivers and seas,

Enjoy all of them... with me!

I don't care if you wanted to be lonely sometimes,

That's alright

We all need our solitude times;

At times, somewhere.

I don't care, but I do,

You will see how much I care

Depending on what you do

And how you choose to betray

Us.

I love you!

What more do you want?

What could you want from me?

We're always together,

Apart as these things should be,

Remain classic;

You were always better than me!

Never-mind their schools and teachers!

They cannot help you!

They're all an illusion: what? Couldn't you see?

Weren't they helpful?

Amin! Amin!

(the voices from church are heard in the afternoon, singing)

Now, where are your prayers, and where is that soul?

Where is your big fancy house,

Where your car, where your home?

Didn't everyone here help you some more?

Much more! Much more than you'll ever know!

No, love doesn't matter to you anymore, hoe!

If it mattered to you

You wouldn't want to run away from it like you do.

Oh, be glad that I don't understand you!

Be happy and glad that I made it too;

To the top, was it great?

Was it awesome, was it all about faith?

Yes, we know and we use our knowledge for ourselves.

You may rot in peace like all the devils you learned to appreciate

For losing you, for mincing you, for crying out your soul;

We're all poor, we're all poor

Without anyone to love, protect or care about us all.

Remain a classic,

You were always better than I am!

Never-mind their schools and their teachers,

Those were not for you!

The big hoses, fancy clothes, awesome cars and lovely souls

To make stands with!

Oh, no!

You could have had it all! You could have and it all!

But you had to remain thankful

For being hurt and sentenced to hell!

Never be too thankful for going through hell

since you don't know what we prepared for you, next time you dare

to come back!

#### All my ways to being grateful

A cup of tea, a drawing telling a story,

making it happen to a beautiful morning in which you both believe

more than in any promise in the world!

A cup of tea: make a wish!  
I wish you what I wish for myself: happiness.

What seems to make me happy made me sad

Because you couldn't accept it,

You wouldn't accept the fact that I wanted it all

Broken into pieces for us all!

There a piece of this pie for everyone: they want us to suffer, they want us to cry!

I am no saint, and you know it!

You all know it!

I was only encouraging myself too

In doing what my heart told me to do!

Too bad for the wires, too bad for the worms,

Only a good apple can carry these stones

That are eaten alive until they're no more what they used to be!

Not a hoe, oh, no! Not anymore!

They have betrayed you

So, they can live their lives

The ways you were!

With all the ways that I had, the opportunities to do all that I want!?

How could I forgive you!?

Oh, no, no, no!

There's nothing to forgive: nothing but hatred!

Forgive and leave behind the hatred for the good things

That you tried to do!

There will be another one to make things for you!

Instead of you: they love showing on TV

The wonderful glory of their souls!

Of their spirits: amazing as you were!

Always!

A cup of tea and a drawing, a story written in a notebook

that you're carrying with you all the time.

A muffin, a pretzel or whatever you may find: after all, you worked for all that money to be able to afford

This amazing breakfast;

Fast, eat while you walk, stop: write a few notes in your sketch-book:

A little drawing to go with your pathetic dream-work!

Always on TV,

Never finding peace

Until you are too famous!

Your purposes are great though!

A cup of tea: there's nothing to forgive; I was no good for you!

You didn't want me smart or beautiful,

you'll never get the chance to judge or carry me

into your filth!

I'm awful as you know me! 'Want to know why?

Don't sentence me to my hell if you don't know what you want:  
You don't!

Trust me,

You don't have a clue what you want to do!

You don't!

Don't sentence me to hell, if you don't know what hell is!

You don't!

####  D_dance.Freelance

All your D's meant something to me

Daring-dance, devil-dance,

Poison.

Drifting dance, Double dance,

Swearing.

Doodle dance, driving dance,

Leading.

Dotty dance, drinking dance,

Rest for a while and pray for your wishful illusions.

Daunting dance, thinking dance,

Daring.

Haunting dance, lovely dance,

Howling.

Moving dance, touching dance,

Saving the day for once,

The day of that broken old heart that loved you enough to get you to the top

And make you famous!

Shouting dance, string love dance,

We're all here for you!

" _I wish I'd be there with you for them forever!"_

Drawing dance, scribble dance,

Walk forever!

Painting dance, more than just a dance,

Your car is waiting for you to embrace

A new way of living.

Copycat dance, creative dance,

Learn how to find your ways, girl!

How-wow dance, happiness dance,

Elation with you be forever!

Amazement dance, strong furious dance,

Run for a ride,

It will mean something your strife,

Ride better!

Measurements dance, meditation-dance,

Rule your rule

(is)

Greater!

All your D's meant something to me

Gratefulness, Mindfulness,

Dance! Draw! Dream!

#### All my ways of being

I'm dirty; I don't believe what I'm just saying...

I'm dirty;

I don't want to be what I am: I'm dirty!

Was I born this way, this must have been my fault:

I'm dirty!

You made me switch places with the devil,

I'm dirty!

The dirty devil.

Say, Me, the invincible

Good-crazy!

This fancy of mine for what's fancy and crazy and beautiful!

I'm fancy! I'm strong! I'm powerful! \- High... quality motivational stands.

You cried for me, remember?

You laughed at the memory of something stupid that I did when alive

then cried like a baby!

Remember my funeral, dear?

I was funny, wasn't I!

Your only friend felt like the enemy

Still you wouldn't mind!

You knew why!

You were never stupid enough to die for anybody,

Neither was I!

But that world didn't need more than one observer.

They had to help me die.

The world wasn't helpless with me, just think about it!

You were either stronger than me or something wrong happened.

Say, me: The invincible Tide,

The invincible lie,

Maybe I wanted to say: life!

_It actually meant_ life.

Say me: I'm not sorry for the greatness of my being,

I'm sorry for whatever could have been.

Say: Me! I am stronger than this!

Their words will not affect me!

Say: Me, I am stronger and wiser,

Their words will always affect me,

All the ways I can make it

All right!

I cannot laugh anymore,

I don't remember that feeling I caught,

The one that made you funny to our spirits combined.

I cannot laugh anymore,

It felt like losing a battle against evil.

Here I am, not being able to say goodbye.

It was hard as hell for everyone anyway,

I'm dirty.

No, you're not – Beware

*be aware of the wrath of the star you are*

Beware

*

All safe now, safe! I'm safe!

I'm safe, now! All safe!

"I killed him out of fear! One inappropriate approach and the knife in my hand went all the way through his flesh spilling blood all over this situation. I didn't mean to but I did it. He scared me. I panicked. And now he's dead... and I am safe. "

All safe now! safe! I'm safe!

Right now, I'm safe!

All safe!

"At least for now. I'll just have grab my knife and run. Run away from here and never come back. I wonder if you'll ever be able to understand. Do I? Do I want you to understand? I hope you will never truly understand. Only walk away from this troubling fear!"

Safe, all safe,

in a different town,

in a different space

where nobody commits murders

out of fear

because there is nothing to fear;

nothing more to be feared here.

Say: Me, the invincible!

Say it!

I am going to miss the green of the woods, when I'm gone!

I am going to miss the skies of blue or painted with clouds

To follow the physical truth of sunlight;

My eyes see differently, my soul feels the same:  
there must be more than pure science,

There must be the spirit enlightened.

I am going to miss the stars and the flowers,

the moon and the power of love.

I am going to miss the rivers and the lakes,

Your mountains and the houses of great thinking,

Amazing living and lifestyles:

I always imagined them better and wiser,

Always seen things brighter and wonderful!

I always imagined them greater than they are!

I am going to miss your good people!

But most of all,

I am going to miss your love.

All these things and much more,

Things written and performed in a song

Or two,

Make it three

...

make it many:

I am going to miss us being together;

Making love happen for one another did not feel like such a great mistake.

I'm probably not aware, too aware

Of what is going to happen,

About where I was sent to

And what is to happen

To me.

Don't be like me!

Don't get tired!

Fight them, your demons, and win

Be _me_ : the invincible.

#### Demise, disdain, deep hurler

Do I hate you? I just realised that I rejected you

Because you learned better to better yourself.

Do I care about you? Perhaps I do.

I just released you from my suffocating arms,

My loving claws.

Do I bother you? no, I never bothered you,

Not at all:

You were searching in doing no harm,

A lot of harm done.

Thank you!

Do I hate myself? Yes, perhaps, sometimes;

Why am I not as charming as you are?

It must be my own fault!

You see?

Just another matter of perspective.

Did I learn how to like who and what I am?

You taught me better, you showed me that I wasn't there.

For your eyes cannot see,

Your heart cannot feel,

Oh, you were such a nice example!

What seems to be wrong, dear?

Did I learn too fast from you?

From all of you I learned

How to treat things

With the kind of people, you are.

Oh, what a lovely mirror you all are!

How come you can't even bare to have a look at yourselves, now?

And why is the truth about yourselves that painful?

Low

#### Did I travel too far?

Wimping around, I'm confused.

Why aren't you where you were supposed to be?

What happened, why, and who?

Why aren't you, why aren't we?

All this is pathetic, I'll make us another cup of tea

To be drowned in.

Why am I not where I feel I was supposed to be?

What do I feel?

And

Where am I supposed to be?

HERE

?

For all this... it does not matter much where,

It probably matters only to yourself

And an unlike soul that's perhaps doing the same

House-chores.

Is there lack of music in this house?

Why did you have to break the spirit of my home?

Why did you hate me?

Why did you hate us so much, dear lost girl?

I just wanted to offer something nice in return

My pathetic turn... return to the nothing I've become –

Still, this nothing, is everything I ever could have hoped for!

You never gave me a chance to be complete and well.

Now I feel that I have no chance to go on faking that smile of mine,

That honest happy smile saying:

I'm finally doing something that can signify.

Hatred helped a lot, my friend, not being a friend anymore.

We act like two strangers, we seem to be enemies, but inside our hearts

We still know that the candle can burn

Lit or smoking the shadows

Of those feelings consumed

They'll always be speaking about our signifying hearts;

Our minds will lead them to the shores

Where a ruler and the compass

Are waiting for us to build the new concept-tree-house.

An island of filthy dreams! We wanted to construct new lands,

The new lands we believed they sunk

Once upon a time,

A time of creating something with a bunch of lies in our heads.

'I will do this, I will do that!'

I'll be the miracle of our dad!

I'll be the wonder for our mother!

I'll make them all proud to have met me...

Some day...

One of these days...

I'll crack the codes of all witchcraft stones!

I can let go, don't be afraid, I can let you go, if that's what you want: go!

I did this before, didn't I?

Wasn't it all a most wonderful treat?

You got what you wanted, I got what I deserved

For being an awful romantic old soul

Learning that a child is a child...

I couldn't think about ages, in those particular times!

I'm happy you were lucid enough, to help me say goodbye... for a while.

#### Punish all the beautiful for being what they are!

With beauty and grace the beautiful shall be punished

Don't hate me, please, for this!

It is what they deserve: don't you... hmm: think?

If not, then feel, if yes then find a way to what's righteous or blinding faith.

You're killing my miracles, I'm killing you all!

You're killing my purposes, I'm killing your souls!

If you dare to kill my spirit: my spirit can't be killed!

Oh, that was wonderfully stupid

of you to try to kill her the way you did...

You didn't! You'll never make it

When you transform into hatred what was meant for love,

The love of charming beauty, that light inside you don't belong to

Anymore!

Only a true God can feel and care the ways you do!

*

With beauty and grace the beautiful will be punished!

Don't hate me, please for this one,

It's just a stupid promise

Of a fool!

Based on my crying: that's what you deserve too

Don't you... don't you?

... hmm...

don't you think so too?

#### Don't turn me in something that you were!

Don't turn me into something that you were,

I'm beautiful!  
Don't turn me into something that they said you were:

They're happy when they're hurting one another!

Don't say I didn't warn you, I did so!

Don't tell me I didn't try to howl and hurl,

Don't blame me for not getting the job well done:

I did more than you will ever be able to do, darling!

Dear manager-hoe!

Don't say I didn't matter! Oh, just pardon me!

Please, pardon us all: you were a saint,

Weren't you? All them Saint-like gods,

You had your top positioned five!

?

I know who I am, I know who you are,

I'll learn about you, I'll find you, one day, maybe,

This night seems too long

But the pleasant feelings coming along!

Oh, the pleasant love proves I finally feel I deserve!

I know who I'll be and that won't be what you want me to be

_or_ think or wish me to become!

I'll always have a will of my own, I'll always like myself strong and complete,

A most beautiful spirit

Just like many of you are!

A slightly personal way won't do any harm,

Don't you think this is fair,

Don't see my despair

Of losing you,

Letting you lose yourself these ways.

Oh, please! Spare me the details!

  * Détailles! ces détailles ! seulement des détailles!

I'll always ask for myself back

To the wholeness of my spirit.

I will always fight for what I believe to be better.

I'll always work enough to get what I want,

I'll always deserve the places I fight for:

*

How could you love me so much!?

We were never close friends,

I only dared to give some advice to you!

  * If you need to be free, then go! Let me go!

I'll let you go!

  * Why does it feel so (un)comfortable with you?

Easy, you're not easy, no easy human to take!  
Easy, I cannot carry you for long: you're hurting my back!

You never asked for me to carry you and treat you like a bride

Or a piece of pie;

You weren't easy, no easy human to take, only heavy

As hell, couldn't get;

Our space craft.

How could you love me so much?!

We never met!

You probably could see the miracle inside me, staring,

Glaring, telling...

keeping the bonds of what _friendly_ is supposed to mean.

How could you love me this much?

Be my wonderful space craft!

Be happy!

?

Don't say I wasn't capable of doing better or more!

You were actually afraid of letting me do so!  
Your position probably menaced,

I couldn't see how stupid this looked to me...

That's why I left: you see? I was too blind to see what was happening!

You're not welcome to my home, anymore!

Why did you have to kill us all?

Why did I have to work some more?

For what? For whom?

For whose success into the world of shame!?

Don't turn me into something that you were.

I can learn how to be the manager of my dreams

On my own.

There are plenty of real managers out there from whom to learn!

Plenty of extraordinary ones,

not hard players who do everything just wrong!

I remember meeting with one, once upon a time,

In my way to getting back my freedom.

There is no real freedom for any of us,

For any of them: no freedom;

Not here or anywhere.

#### Together: since we accomplish more!

All stars hanging on love of true,

All stars are hanging out there because they need to believe too,

All stars still having faith,

Still trying to understand.

Are we talking about the same thing?

You kept looking for adding sense to your life

Even when dead and torn apart

As a child: you got warned.

What could you have possibly done wrong?

A group of directors once spoke:

"Meeting with your other selves

from your pasts or your futures is wrong"

  * We just found someone to mock and use

  * As our problem solver, as our shield.

  * We only looked-down on your existence to make you fail.;

  * We're evil.

why did I believe that there was no future written for me?

That I was all free?

To _create_?

Keep looking to add some sense to your life,

To mean something: signify!  
Keep hoping for nothing to come

To your rescue!

Keep dreaming about it,

Maybe one day...

Out of the blue of a tear...

May...be...

A brilliant team of directors once spoke:

Meeting with your other self can be dangerous and fun,

Can be wrong;

Never be wrong!"

A group of directors must have been either right or wrong.

I couldn't believe who you think you are though!

Remember me: why do I keep doing this?

What am I hoping for now?

I am not going to be what you want me to be,

I'd rather drop dead and never exist!

I hate you!

And that is not the spirit of love anymore!

That is the spirit of thunder and hope

For what's honestly fair,

For a miracle

Or

For a plague.

I'm not an example to follow,

I'll lead you to depression and sorrow.

My fights against myself, against this weakness

Coming from hell

Are human wishes and desires

Never fulfilled –

In-human wishes that found their accomplishment

When never came.

More, we want more!

More!

More sorrow! We want more! More!

Not an example to follow, myself and my deeds!

I am only another body that tries to make some sense out of it,

This sea of great amazing saints,

Diverse as always...

What am I doing here?

No wonder they got upset, the saints!

I was probably never one of them.

There's more for you: less for our future children!

Make the miracle of life happen for your people!

Get everything you want from life, from your kingdom!

The kingdom is kind enough to give to its people

Everything they want;

If you don't believe it then you are just blind!

You're blind!

You can't see what we wanted for you: only the good part of this lie

We call life!

Call on Life!

We wanted you to be happy!

In life,

In death

And very strong

In between

The two dances.

#### ?

I know who I am, I know who you are,

I'll learn about you, I'll find you, one day, maybe.

I know who I'll be and that won't be what you want or think or wish me to be!

I'll always have a will of my own, I'll always like myself strong and complete.

I'll always ask for myself back

To the wholeness of my spirit.

How could you love me so much!?

We were never close friends,

I only dared to give some advice to you!

  * If you need to be free, then go! Let me go!

I'll let you go!

  *

*

Easy, you're not easy, no easy human to take!  
Easy, I cannot carry you for long: you're hurting my back!

You never asked for me to carry you and treat you like a bride

Or a piece of pie;

You weren't easy, no easy human to take, only heavy

As hell, couldn't get;

Our space craft.

How could you love me so much?!

We never met!

You probably could see the miracle inside me, staring,

Glaring, telling...

keeping the bonds of what friendly is supposed to mean.

How could you love me this much?

Be my wonderful space craft!

Be happy!

### ?

My sorrow, your pain, together we accomplish more,

You will be saved after you suffered,

Released, free from the pain.

My tears, your wonders,

I got tired of creaming out wonderful things!

My pain and suffering was real as your heartaches;

My work was to help all this not to go too far,

Help us get too far from all pain and suffering.

I'm sorry I couldn't help more!

It's just a case of asking for a miracle to happen

To this body that's mine

So, I can go on with the plan

Of living for something beautiful in return.

What about: the way we all look is the way we are?

Inside, we crawl and hide:

The world wants us to die

Because we are not a standard Barbie or Ken doll.

Isn't that world a freaking miracle?

I'm sorry!

I wasn't the one mixing the genes so things happen to you this way!

I'm sorry!

May I model my wish to you, so you felt better?

May I model myself in a distant future land

Where everything's alien:

Peace, love and gratitude,

Equals in our diversity,

All happy living in our

Utopian society?

May I rest in peace

In that place

Where nobody cares about anything else

But their shared beliefs, passions and dreams,

Ideals?

Only after I pay one more tribute, okay?

Only after my job and duty are done, here, in this place where if beautiful punished if ugly ignored,

If common-like imprisoned and asked to kill myself;

Or was it the other chaotic-way around?

Oh, night of a thousand losers:

What have I done!?

*nothing*

the witch seems to be a problem to us all

Hello, beautiful!

#### Night of a Thousand Miracles

Night of a thousand miracles,

One thousand and one,

One miracle didn't happen, and that one was mine.

Night of a thousand miracles, night of jazz and blues;

Nights of three thousand shows and one is to go

With you!

Night of a thousand miracles, one thousand and go,

One is not happening for you, one is for another hoe,

Night of one thousand and one miracles, night of the fantasy true,

And the king of this castle decides to punish you

By saving your life:

It's much harder to live with the burden of what you did

Than to die and get out there,

Liberated from your duty, from your path

To success.

Live the beauty of your infinite grace!

Night of one thousand and one stories, to tell to your kids;

The things that were stolen remembering me, of a giant that was French like

Like a god it must behave,

That giant left the home bringing letters to his dad

With his soul:

The matter was too fragile to be well exposed.

They needed a miracle to offer them some more

of what they wouldn't like to know.

Night of one thousand and one miracles, one thousand and more,

For the sake of humanity stop telling them all

About the importance of knowledge when you feel too small

To accomplish any sane dream,

Safe from the memory of what they made you believe in:

Your people!

La peste est le peuple, fragile comme il faut!

(she said)

Too fragile in front of someone who's better than them all!

Can't you see that I'm better than any of them? Can't you see that I am one of them, one of your own!

Wasn't it the truth expressed through your work and attitude:

We're all together in this, like it or not!?

What went wrong? What went wrong!

What's right went too wrong

For them all.

That's it!

That is the spirit!

#### A Soul that Feels the same

Please forgive me, for taking time to speak to you.

Please, forgive me, for trying to make some sense out of it.

Please, do forgive me, for trying to understand where this is going,

Do forgive me, hurting you wasn't a thing in my mind.

Please, forgive me, to try to put some senses in your mind,

Please, forgive me for waking you up to your old reality,

Please... forgive me for asking too much from a girl who could never be there for anyone but

*

Make miracles for the deserving ones,

Please forgive their small fears, their insignificant faults and mistakes,

Please, don't treat them too bad!

Make miracles for the ones who got hurt

By the unfair wrath of a famished troubled rat;

Please, forgive them, those who tried to help because they knew

how to be a real friend in need.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you,

I can't be everywhere for everybody,

I'm just a human being!

I'm sorry, I tried to make you understand

That what you were doing was not the work of a leader

but the one of a friendly god

leaving things at the choices of any girl or a lad.

Please, forgive me! I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

Do, forgive me! I was in love with the idea of having fun

while doing something that felt worthy of being done.

Please, forgive me! I didn't know why I hated you so!

Now I'm coldly aware of the dangerous fall

You're waiting for.

Please, forgive me for asking too much from a traumatised girl.

  * It was all the husband's fault, I tell you!

  * All about the husband's soul!

  * What do you mean? When isn't it all about the husband's faults, dear?

  * Precisely...

  * My point of view...

  * I'm sorry, but I want to see things clearly now! Thank you.

Make miracles for the deserving,

the righteous and the brave!

Make miracles for those who still believe and pray!

Make miracles for those who work for something worthwhile;

Make miracles, please, for the ones who cried

Their love and wisdom.

You're a much more beautiful soul than I am,

Your kindness and strength shows in everything you do!

How could I not love you?

You're much better, I know now for sure;

I had to let you go for something as good as you are,

For somebody who is just as perfect as you are,

I'm sorry to have hurt you!

You're much better than I am, I'm sorry;

Never be sorry for leaving behind someone who couldn't measure up

To the greatness of your spirit!  
She had to learn, I had to die for what I wanted;

And I wanted to make us all happy!

How could I make us all happy?

See the stupidity

Marked by the irony

Of

Rules

In life?

How could I believe in our lives?

It's going to be fine, now!

Don't worry, keep an open heart, an open mind

And believe in your stories

About miracles that happened

To all the examples around:

Watch them on the screens, listen and hear

About them, successful beings –

They did it on their own, you know?

There was nobody there for them

To offer a helping hand,

There was no grateful soul to care for another one

And there was no matching of peers;

There was only an idea

Spread by a million leaves.

#### I am I

I m I

It didn't mean to you what it meant to me.

I am I,

Perhaps I'll get to understand one day

Why

I m I

In need to be saved,

Not knowing how to say

What went wrong;

Perhaps I didn't know how to pray anymore,

Yet I pray so much more than before!

I pray and show,

I tell on you once more.

A naughty kid, not a whore...

Am I still begging for more?

Why?

I m I

Please, love me some more!

If I tried to be better

Would you care for my soul?

If I woke-up and fought

Dancing us out of this frightening night

Would you mind? Would you care?

Or would I...?

I m I

I must have hurt you very bad not to want to understand that it's over now.

I will be fine, you be forgiven, live in peace and harmony...

Until I get to see her, you'll feel his whisper.

I m I

#### All the things I should be thankful for

I'm only a cruel liar,

Am very thankful for this;

Oh, I'm such a cruel pathetic liar,

sending you to the hell you need

To confess!

I'm nothing but a liar and a cheat!

All sorry! I didn't mean to hurt!

All wrecked and feeling sorry?

I thought we were okay with it?

All thinking about how to end

The tears you never meant

To share with everybody?

You see: _I am so sorry!_

I am only a human being,

How could I have helped you more?

I cannot help you more!  
It is not that I don't want to!

I do! That's why I'm helping you get done

~ the things that must be done~

~with Dome things done~

~all the things that I have hoped for~

That's why I'm here!

I'm done!

You must be done!

We're done!

Get out of here!

All done.

I'm sorry for not intending to hurt!

I'm sorry for not being as strong as you are!

I'm sorry, I cannot help myself from crying:

It must have been wrong a feeling...?

I'm sorry, I feel disappointed

At the weaknesses of my sorrow.

I'm sorry! I didn't have that power to crush it all

Creating an echo

That would be truly powerful!

I'm sorry! I was not great as you were!

I'm sorry! I got to think myself better...

Would you want to know the round things around?

For So Raw!

For the humans, I love: all thankful!

For the chance to fall in love: Thankful.

For the choices to return to my beloved home

where I belong: Thankful!

: Thankful:

For the air that I can breathe,

For the wisdom!

For the songs and for their joking around!

For making me laugh when I was strangled by sorrow, sadness or pain!

Thankful to every need given to get helpful.

Thankful:

For the trees, for the mountains, for the seas!

For the toys, I was invited to see and make use of!

For the knowledge, shared,

for the advice and ideas, you offered

To be shared!

For the things, you transformed,

For all the searches, you made,

For your grace and gratitude!

For all your shows and plays.

For the sleepless hours of fun, we had thinking that

One day I might get things done properly.

For those dreams, we call pure!

For those days, I was feeling secure

And certain that this will not be my last chance to do something

feeling most wonderfully wrong feeling right:

Working late into the night

With passionate fires caused by the thunders I was producing with you!

For the days when all nightmares seemed too far away!

For those times when Nothing was going to go wrong:

For that fantasy, unbroken,

I should be all grateful

And gracefully move along!

For all the inspiration and fun.

I should be grateful!

#### Everything in Place: The right place

I wish for my soul to be where my soul feels happy!

I wish for my soul to feel at home where happiness meets

My spirit's needs;

I wish for all sadness to remain only a reference in a picture

In motion

Emotion

Devotion

To everything you all claim to have valued.

I wish for my souls, my beautiful souls to be happy!

I wish for you all to get where you're finding the cure

From everything that prevents you from enjoying

A life with no fear.

I wish you all had what I didn't have;

I wish you all have, the best of what I had...

Is it a matter of how one interprets this "best" of everything one has?

Or is there something more powerful than what we want and what we truly ask for

With our heart

Torn apart

Rescues

Imagined saved

Then healed from what's killing

Us here

?

I wish you all have what you want, what I want...

But is this possible!?

The strangest things I could believe in!

The strangest dreams I had!

The strangest, most peculiar wonders

Happening in my mind.

Visions living in One!

#### FEar

Please, don't let her be a mom,

She was not made for this!

Please, don't let her be much more than you are!

I'm sorry!

Please, don't make a miracle,

You wouldn't let me be one!

Please, don't make her happier

Because I wasn't there for you nor her!

I'm sorry.

Please, don't let her be a mom!

She cannot handle it!  
please, don't let her get a job,

She doesn't deserve it!

Please, oh, please, do ruin her life

In its entirety.

Please, do love that family

Which hurt the best of souls

And be happy!

Please, don't pay her for her work,

Do not repay her!

Please, don't let her evolve,

Keep her out of it!

Please, do play like you used to before,

Poor devil!

I will make you cry for this, forever!

Please, oh please, don't let her be happy!

Having it all asks for sacrifices in return!

Please, don't let her be with the holy and righteous,

I'm sorry!

Please, the holy won't stop judging you for being a too kind and generous thing!  
Please, don't let her accomplish a miracle!

*

CONSTRUCT!

Re-construct!

Destruction of the derelict!

Construction of the glory and fame

Of those who worked and asked for it!

Construction of the love you hate!

*

Whatever that means to you.

Not

Here for you

Not there

Not just about anywhere you'd want!

  * Whatever this could have meant for you, it's over!

  * How do you like my new song for your forever!?

  * Why do you hate me so much?

*perhaps I didn't want to hurt them that bad!*

Couldn't we just make things become truly beautiful

From the inside out?

I grew out tired of this fight for what is wrong and right!

I'm sorry.

#### Someone beautiful

I want no big house empty and alone,

Watching the kids of other people grow.

I do not need the fame to wipe all the things I left behind

along with my awful shame

Of losing a game!

I do not want to be ashamed of getting all that something

For nothing.

I do not want an empty home, an empty stone

On which engraved the words that cannot honour myself esteem;

That soul which felt too real to be true!

I do not want an empty vase to keep away

The mesmerizing paths

Of glorifying beauty.

I'm still enjoying seeing you all happy!

Something in return that's graceful,

Something kind and beautiful:

A dancer, a poet of how life itself

Should behave!

She dances her revelations,

His reveries untold

But spoken to us all!

She dances them all to the most beautiful places;

Enthralled!

They all are amazing.

An honest despair of losing the air

that I once loved breathing.

An honest belief that I can make it

Just the way you did;

What made me think that you were so happy?

He sees right through you,

He can see us all!

The spirit of his brightness

Cannot be destroyed!

You can think yourself worthy

Of trying once more;

You can learn, you can dance,

You can think and then crawl

To the very depths of your conclusions!

Or you can dream

...

dream a little dream of failure

getting us out of here!

It's heaven,

And you know it,

The thing you're not deserving right now.

Oh, why? Oh, why?

Just tell us once more,

Why?

Just another honest act of desperation,

Feeling like losing my breath;

Another honest belief that a gift can bring-up the light

Of your beloved sun.

This galaxy has issues of memory too,

I thought you already knew that!

What made me think that you were unhappy?

#### Per se

-I need a home:

-This place looks warm and healthy enough to be a home.

I will just have to earn the money to buy it!

Then we can start living the only part of our life that means beauty!

Don't cry! Don't you cry!

You'll always love me for this trouble I'm sending to you!

Don't cry, never cry for being too grateful,

Don't cry, never cry, sweet angel of mine!

Don't cry, never cry, please don't cry

When I'm gone!

Please, don't cry

Sweet little angel!

I want you to be happier

Than

I

All the beautiful things in one,

Everything that I should have become: in one!

Everything my mind and my soul craved for: in one!

All the beauty of the perspectives to call on a duty,

All gone, all in one!

All to you!

All to me!

All to the lovely and caring!

Don't cry, never cry!

You'll always love me: goodbye!

Don't weep,

You'll never have to sweep down the alley

The troubles smoked by the lonely

In fear.

You'll never have to do the cleaning-up you don't like for me!

-Didn't you do enough harm?

-That's right, walk on!

-We all do harm one another!

I do not want a big house, empty and alone,

Watching the children of other people grow!

I don't need all the fame to wipe the things I left behind me

along with my awful pathetic shame

Of losing a game!

I do not want to feel ashamed of getting all that something

For nothing!

I do not want an empty home, an empty stone

On which engraved sit the words that cannot honour myself esteem;

That soul which felt too real to be true!

I do not want an empty vase to keep away

The mesmerizing paths

Of glorifying beauty.

I'm still enjoying seeing you all happy!

As life goes on they start to grow,

There is a lot of light to offer and enjoy;

A lot of love coming from their home.

And she dances, she dances like never before!

She dances for a dream that was never told to anyone!

She dances for all the dreams she used to have, for the entire path

She created

Along with her poems and thoughts she is making

Others accomplish their dreams too.

As life went on, she created a few miracles to happen

For those who actually loved her.

I give you my dances, I give you my grace,

I'll give you everything you need,

Just be happy!

I know what you wanted!

I'll give you my happiness, I'll offer you my soul!

Be happy!

I'll give you my dare-devil powers,

The inspiration will follow you into your dreams.

I'll send you an angel or demon to rescue you for a change.

I'll ask for an angel to rescue you for your sick revenge

On yourself.

#### I want Beauty, I want Grace

-What do you want?

-Beauty and Grace, Lord!

-What do you need?

-Love.

-What do you hope for?

-Intelligence that's bright and wonderful!

-What did you pray for?

-A better world!

-What do you wish for?

-I wish for nothing but the best

And be the best among the best!  
\- What do you care for?

-Everything, dear Lord!

-Then get the hell out of here

'cause you don't know what you're asking for!

Just another fool, like you!

I'm just another fool

That got caught doing something

Cool or foolish,

I don't know, I don't remember,

I remember it all

Just like I should,

We all should be grateful for more

Not for the least and the less that we've got to be

For the wizard of Oz

And the company of those from high above

Winning the lottery of fools

Praying and believing in the miraculous rescues

of those well painted angels and demons!

-What do you want from us all?

-I am not sure there's anything to ask for...

-What if there was?

-Then I should be some kind of a miracle,

Which I happen to know

Didn't happen quite so

I could reach the level of the star

I needed to be.

Patience repays... I wish her nothing but the best;

I guess it was time for me too to run out of patience

And do something about

Whatever I've become.

Who cares if an honest wreck?

I've seen degraded people,

Degenerated teachers who did more than this!

They were loved by their parents

For whatever the hell they did.

They were loved by their students for what they offered!

They were hated and loved at the same time:

They were great,

The only ones who had hope

In those heavens that have proven to be

Nothing but a great mischievous irony.

-I wanted Grace!

-I wanted Beauty!

-I wanted Faith!

And I wanted it all, my friend!

I need a home! Can you offer me a loving home?

#### Permanence

It's easy to speak from above,

I'm playing it easy!

It's easy to make things happen when above us all,

Flying like a fat unicorn

Wearing slim-size outfits

And caring for us all

Without caring about anyone at all;

Perhaps, I'm not showing it all now.

It's easy to stay cold, don't you think?

It must have been earned though!

It's easy to stay alive

When the sun still spreads its warm rays of light

Touching your face, gently,

Waiting for you to either make a mistake

Or find your perspectives

In that life, you have chosen

For yourself

With the help of everyone else

Confessing to be a friend to you.

What kind of a friend are you!?

The best ways possible,

The best of the best!

The best things forever,

So, we can have the rest

We all wish for.

The best ways of the best,

Solely the best possible

Can rest a soul like this one!

The best things forever,

So, we can have the rest

We all desire.

It seems easy to speak from above,

It comes easy, it feels the same;

You couldn't reach for me one more time,

It worked fast and easy!

You're done, you're strong, the strongest one!

What do you want now?

Give me the power, give me the strength

To do things properly

When sent down there,

If ever!

Never return to that hell!

It feels easy to speak from above,

It seems easy! It's easy to do things with the calm of an angel

When the angel's inside;

Please, do fear the wrath of the angel you've hurt

Just about...

A minute ago, or so!?

Let's call it Now!

We're even!

The best ways possible are the right ways,

Always!

Good-Hi!

Good-Bye!

Forever!

Don't cry! Don't you cry!

You never loved me for what I could have offered.

Otherwise you wouldn't have been so playful

With all our signs.

You couldn't get our messages!?

Oh, I wonder why!?

Is she upset now, that lady

Not getting what you want?

Perhaps she doesn't want you to get what you deserved!

Perhaps she doesn't car as much as you do, for your sun or guy!

Perhaps she never cared too much for another wife!

Perhaps, only perhaps, my darling!

Such a fine _Clementine!_

A permanent exploration and discovery

Flavoured and sweet.

*She walks like no other, speaking like no other,

He is unique and wonderful a speaker; and we're trying to get even

With what happened a long time ago.

  * You would have loved to have a partner

like her so shut the fuck up! You loser! The greatest winner spoke.

*

To the one who deserved much better:

Trying, I'm trying not to be sorry!

I'm trying, still trying not to feel sorry about it!

Well flavoured and sweet,

That was her spirit, Holy!

Not the infamous smells you are offering so kindly from him.

I cannot help you more than I just did!

I'm sorry, my beautiful angel,

My long forgotten saint!

Well flavoured, perfectly balanced,

Perfumed like a Holy rose,

Your spirit.

#### Perilous performer

What's wrong, my dearest friends out there?

You seem to want to help;

But still, here I am, asking myself, again and again:

Wasn't I a loser in your eyes for too long a time?

You all claim to be here for me,

To try to help me out, to send or sentence me to some...

-Perhaps well-deserved and good...-

Well... _life_

Wasn't I a pathetic old loser back then too?

Trapped in the shell of a young girl not planning invincibly well

Her escape from the curse to obey

Some awful rules not giving her the chance to enjoy her life

At the fullest?

Wasn't I a great loser? Well, not anymore!

It meant death: at least for a goal.

Now, I want the most of it, dear sailor!

For myself! Said the warrior inside.

I grew tired of your manager crisp!

I got tired and sick of your lawful gift

Of sadness.

Sadness of the wise! Sadness of your eyes!

The sadness of our times.

This quarrel, this infamous quarrel!

Such a regretful act of betrayal!

These reproaches, refined or not, reproaches:  
Such a great mistake!

Will you invite-in some wisdom to help

Like a really good friend?

#### Periscopes

All stars aligned, you can offer them peace, they won't mind!

Stars of the real do need that shine!

All stars, aligned to be there for the one

Everyone loved!

I wonder now why!?

Who loved her!?

And why!?

Who kept trying to make her smile, even when tired and torn apart;

Why!

Please, tell me why?

Why couldn't you give me the strength not to show all that pain!

Why!?

Until she learns there's nothing to be done about such great a curse!

All stars aligned to offer a path to a loser!

All stars aligned to offer a way to someone

Falling in the trap

Of the greatest accuser of all times:

For what?

For not being a rat,

Becoming a rat

Out of a great male pride!

If it's a male world, then stay with your male

and never touch a female again!

Until he learns there's nothing to be done about such great a curse!

She will never come back to you,

To me!

She will never fall down into this misery!

She will never crawl back again, no matter what you say or do,

Your promises are empty to her, now!

You did it! You lost her!

What could you possibly want now!?

What could you possibly think of doing!?

She will never come back now,

She's up there, looking back at you all,

She's watching form above

With the eyes of an eagle

That doesn't need the food

You're still asking for!

She's up there, looking at us all,

Watching you all!

The way we are, the ways we were!

She is up there, seeing it all:

Future to be made,

Past and present under her eyes

To make all inspirations collide

In strange periscopes of light.

Until he learns there's nothing to be done about such great a curse!

All stars aligned to offer her peace, but these ones,

calling themselves humans

pay no respects to this.

All stars create light out of bursts of fire

And chalk:

How could you tell her why!?

Never said a word!

Never believed in you, know!

Please, tell me why! Oh, why!

Why couldn't you fly!

Why couldn't you die for them!?

Why did you have to be so special and want to continue with this lie!?

Why wouldn't you learn how to tell a good lie!?

Why do you think you got punished for?

Wasn't it because you lied!?

One little lie! For what!?

We do not care about security!

Creativity? – that's a lie!

Why, oh, why did you have to die for nothing!?

Let's make it now everything!

Why, oh, tell me why!

Why did you have to ask for another lie!?

Was it for your people?!

Perhaps someone needed a better lifestyle!

#### All the latter three, together

Those times got them in trouble, those times got them depressed,

They fought it quite annoyingly,

impressively well!

Those times, all times,

watching through the periscopes of Time

reading through their voices

and their eyes,

their tonal expressions,

those faces

never known

but heard and resurrected by her soul.

"I never wanted to meet with them all!

But thank you!

Thank you for your call!"

You do know why I couldn't listen to you, anymore!

Do you!?

Will I ever be happy again!?

Was I, ever?

Or was it just the illusion in a dream?

The fantasy in a vision

I projected on the world

We couldn't let go to.

We just couldn't let go!

Wasn't I a great warrior!?

Can't you see my greatness

In vision!?

Anybody can imagine a lot of things

Still become only a loser!

I could just blame you all for this,

I didn't, but I did: So far, I got what I deserved

Not what I asked for – since time will come!

There's time for everyone!

I'll live forever in your dreams, your fantasies

And my delusional poetry.

I'll Live forever in those paintings!

I'll live forever in your soul,

I'll love you all from the distance of my call

To stand-up like a great observer and choose for myself...

How can I still believe that I was allowed to do so!?

How can I still believe that I have the freedom of asking for that lost joy.

These voices, judging me, never knew anything about the feeling named love,

They never knew the soul, they never suffered at all!

I'm sure that I'M NOW WRONG!

#### Am I talking about myself now?

Your mother was a saint,

She wasn't the solution to your problems,

she was the problem itself!

If it weren't for your mother you wouldn't be right there,

Where you are;

If it weren't for your mother, you would have probably went through that hell,

Once again!

Isn't it better a sad end than a most horrible one, dear friend?

I'll keep calling you a most wonderful way in the world!

I'll keep annoying you,

Why not? You hurt me enough with your cursing end.

I'll keep calling you my friend.

You offered me the chance to have a place where to stay.

I'll keep naming you this way!

A real winner never wants to give something beautiful or nice enough in return for any favour; they only focus on their own problems and fears then they offer you tears. Enjoy!

It does depend on how you want to see things,

to embrace things and let go!

All psychologists united,

They will fight each-others' guts

Hating what's to hate: some have no scrupulous demands.

Every psychologist united with someone who sees better ways

Will find his ways, will find her ways;

Every psychologist united with a stranger mind will know the line to be told

The very first and right time;

Bus of a thousand miracles.

They were all given the chance to be a miracle,

I was given the chance to fight for a miracle,

Embrace the immense light of your spirit

And offer what I had to offer in return:

Pay back! Offer the pay-back!

Some know about the pay-back! Pay them back!

Many things I had to remember, being remembered about who I am!  
Many things brought to me sorrowful shame,

The sorrowful shame of who I am, of who I am

Because that's where you led me,

That's the thing you want to do:

Oh, leadership training

So, you make us little,

To little

To embrace the better world prepared,

Too little to be embraced and taken elsewhere!

Do you know why I couldn't listen to you anymore?

-You didn't suit us well!

-Oh, well! Oh, well! What can I say?

Fashion design wasn't always a good plan!

Do you know why I couldn't follow your plan?

-You didn't plan well, you felt!

-Oh, well, oh, well! Well of fortune and great wishes to break

Then accomplish! Oh, well, Oh, well! Do follow the greatest plan,

Well made!

#### A break-up with all feelings

It was too much for a single body to take; it was just too much – all those feelings had to be spread among people and shared to the right bodies! People need to feel! People need to know what they feel and how they feel, but above all, they need to know why and how is that causing a problem to one another and to themselves. People need to understand what they're doing and why! Is feeling an option!? Always, of course! That's what makes them humans and not machines. Thinking seems to be in danger when they feel, though. Not all of them feel the same about this and, from what I could see, some do hide traces of reason in what's generically called a heart or a soul without having any material means to support their use of terms.

I don't want to feel! I want to create!

I want to be able to re-interpret;

No more troubles, no more fears

Only those answers which are lying within...

I'm sorry for not being helpful as you need.

I know now how much I did,

Did nothing for you, it meant nothing to you...

It meant something to somebody true!

I meant nothing to you, I meant nothing to your beautiful angels and demons ahead!

It meant nothing to you, my soul meant nothing to you

...

_Adieu_ x _!_

I don't want to feel this! I'm not like before!

I can't love these people,

Got helped not to ignore the way they always felt about me,

About them,

About us all.

I must have made a great mistake inviting them all

To the party.

I know how much I did, I didn't do anything for you...

Or was it to you?

I can't feel sorry, I cannot laugh at this,

This isn't my moment of ease!

#### Strategies

I have to hold on booze,

Don't ask me what's possessed me,

I guess that I knew something.

I needed to fight what made me understand your weaknesses.

I needed to hold on booze;

Strong as an ox,

The cow left the crowd

For a donkey to tell her a joke.

The donkey left the farm for some pork;

And the pig got annoyed:

-I'm not giving myself just to anyone!

-I needed to hold on the things that mattered more.

I made the decision to crawl and crave for some more,

I needed to give myself more strength and the life I wanted to live.

How is that possible for me to be

That girl,

That wonderful girl you once told

To be the best?

How could I believe in myself?!

If it weren't for you I would have probably be nowhere!

If it weren't for you I would have probably died a long time ago!

If it weren't for you...

I miss you!

I miss you all, there, I said it!?

Why did it have to be so difficult to understand it!?

I needed to make some sense, put some order in my head

And work things out!

It seems that I did not like what came out, eventually!

-What do I want to be, why am I here!?

The same questions, the answers were always beyond any imagination!

-The world was left behind,

-I struggled to keep my paces with the truth in that wine;

Now I got myself caught in some shine

Of my old pathetic whine;

I have to get out of here!

Make my tears spread beauty, that beauty I never could hold on to

...

I am going to blame the world I was sentenced to,

This time!

The world should be proud, now!

The world was never proud for such a failure.

The world is not aware of all dangers,

The world doesn't care...

Everything this world wants is a lot of love

And being taken care of.

We need to collapse this movement of hopes,

Moving around for a second day in a row

For planning

The new beginning of a wild amazing rose

Perfumes with the most exquisite loath for humanity.

We need to find a reason to stay, we need a reason to obey;

We need a new life

On a stage where everything should be perfect.

Why didn't I have the courage to end it!?

Why am I still doing this?

Why do I keep my faith in what is against all of you!?

Why am I here, annoyed by someone who cannot be there for me!?

The working hours are done, we're still there, planning,

Creating for the best of our days to be shown:

Just another office fantasy,

Distorted.

I keep regretting not having the courage to end it.

#### Reward

-I'll stay like this!

-You wanted to save me from myself, from my troubles, from my fears!

Didn't I try!? Didn't I prove that I wanted to believe?

-I'll stay like this! You earned it!

-It's real! I can't believe this is real! It's happening!

Real!?!

What's real!?!

Being unfair to yourself, that's real, unreal, surreal!

They were all unfair thinking themselves too good to be true, to awesome and lovely!

Lovable, adorable, amazing!

Why aren't you here!?

Give thanks to your older friends and your families!

They all helped!

How can I remember you what you did for us?

How could I ask you to step aside, one more time,

When there's nothing to do about us anymore!

You did it all, you did it all!

I don't want a big house, I need it

To get to fill it with beauty and grace!

With lovely people and the love of a dance

Called a miracle.

It's life!

The miracle of life itself!

We're live, we're alive!

We are life!

The life!

LEARN

Not to abandon your plans

Of being useful!

Learn how to fight them all, those who don't want you to be the loser

Showing herself,

Himself

Useful!

Get back there and be happy!

Into the sea of ghosts,

Those ghostly humans

You'll find someone, you must find someone to trust you!

You must be aware of the dangers of helping others!

You must be faithful!

Get back there and learn! Learn how to improve

The world we won't belong to anymore!

You're screwed!

Isn't this the love of your uncle Ray?

The one we couldn't adore!?

Isn't this us, asking for him to be followed and loved

In return for a favour

The favour of cursing

The one!?

The only one loving us all!?

-Uncle Ray was a miracle! Don't you dare!

-There are a bunch of uncle Rays in the world!

It depends of each and every soul how further-up or down below

They go with their instincts and their 'love' for another one's gold!

-How could I make a mistake like this

And become her saviour!?

-How could I make a mistake like this

And become his saviour!

How could you want to save

the Devil himself from what he wouldn't want to be saved?

How could you meet him when so little!?

How could you

Work

For him for so long?

How could I believe that you'd bother for your beloved

Sun!

I don't want a big house, I need it

Just like the car and the private jet,

The music and all!

-There's a lot of teaching to do – the poor devil!

Only a human,

The human you were!

Why did you love the humans more!? How could you!?

-Because humans still need you!

Now I need a friendly friend.

Be real, though, and don't hesitate

To tell me the truth you're hiding inside

To spare me the spears.

I need a friendly friend to tell me the truth,

The cruel and mighty truth

So, I can ask myself

Once again

To get up

And participate

To

Whatever could right now mean

Life.

#### Hate

I am going to hate your voices forever,

They don't belong to the God I remember

The one caring about the beauty of human kind!

I am going to hate those voices forever,

They made beautiful people fell apart!

I am going to learn how to hate them forever,

Never hating them back!

I learned.

These tears! All these tears,

They should worth something,

They mean something...

They meant.

Some tears ending significance to end

With the hurtful things, they used to mean.

These tears! All those tears,

Should have meant something!

They should make things worth living for,

All those miracles we wanted to happen...

All gone, flying-up for the ones who were never hurt enough

To get secluded.

They were the ones truly loved by The Angel!

They are the ones always loved by all angels, not us!

Those tears, all these tears,

Saying: never try to get better, never try to improve,

Never be who you feel that you are,

Never live that life inside,

That light inside...

Never live it

Because when you try letting it out

It will fly, fly away from here,

Far away into the distant heights of the skies

Returning to you only when you'll learn how to die for the world

That never really bothered:

It's a lesson we learned, never to forgive,

Never to forget

So, they never punish us for being dead

For their world.

These tears! All those tears!

How can I offer something good

if I didn't get the chance to feel it?

How can I offer something that's worth living

If I couldn't bother

For what I believed in?

How can I give something nice in return

If I'm forced to a cold pretending performance

Of an act of kindness,

Of an act of faith...

This is all that remained

Behind this curtain...

How can I make a better destiny break happen

When my human touch is nothing but a sad wreckage loved by the memory of what once was?

Am I talking about myself now?

*

What's wrong?Are you hearing the voices of somebody else?

You're thinking they're mine.

Are you seeing the cries of another soul

And think they were mine?

What's wrong? Are you putting your guilt over me - it is easy for you now, right?

Are you thinking your troubles and problems as mine?

Go and keep dreaming

Your heavy charms put on my shoulders.

*

I am going to hate those voices forever,

The ones you gave life to

To they turn me into the heaven

Of their evil shots!  
I am going to hate the voice of your evil path, forever!

Forever I might runaway and hide,

Forever I might fight

With my mirrors and my flashes of light

I will show them the beauty of what they once had.

I am going to hate the voices of your evil path, forever!

Ever thought about not hating our dad?

There was nothing fair about anything in the hose of that Devil!

Never gave it a real thought.

and whatever's left behind

Give me your sorrows, give me your tears,

Give me the painkillers to ease all the pains.

Give me the confidence, give me the faith!

Give me something that is exquisitely great!

Give me the power to be of real help!

end whatever might have come

Offer your sorrows, offer me tears,

Give me the painkillers to ease all your pain.

Give me the confidence, give me the faith!

Offer us something that is truly great;

Give me the power to be of real help!

#### The After Hate Song

This chaotic "- Belief!" in which you put a trust that cannot breathe properly!

A monstrous belief in a future made by other people;

I hated it! Couldn't you come-up with a better plan!?

Sure: The monstrous belief in something beautiful!

The monstrous belief in the life I never had...

Or is it, perhaps, the life I never wanted?

Is it? Or might it be

The life I forgot about when a kid?

How could I be so hated!?

Why did you try to make me hate it?

Why did you want me to hate it!?

Why would you...

Help me hate you?

Why do you hate yourself so much?

You're beautiful!

Just try to remember!

Remember how beautiful you really are!

Please, remember!

Your trust in creation, the creation we need,

All the humans with good hearts, creating for me!

All humans in good heart,

Creating real beauty!

All humans revealing something that would be:

Pure beauty one day!

There's nothing pure about it, and you know it!

These chaotic beliefs in which you put a trust in!

A trust that could not breathe properly!

Now it can!

Believe: - Why do you hate yourself this much? What did I do to you!?

Why do you have to be this sorrowful!?

I hated your hatred, I hated your tears!

Why did you have to love for love's sake!  
For goodness sake! Why did you love me so much!

Why didn't you love yourself!?

Why did you try to love yourself!?

What does all that mean to a playful witty god?

Nothing but punishment

When in front of the greatest pride

Of the Lord!

Now, how much for this?

The best answer is always a new and blank page.

Your trust put in creation, recreation of what's fine!

Refined creations of what was believed to be a lie!

Pure beauty, one day will be reached

But will you stay

The way you are?

I always loved you for what and who you are!

For everything that you are: 'cause I am I!

Together in this! There's nothing pure about this and we know it!

There was never anything pure about faking it

The truth that wasn't there

For you

But

For the killing.

It is only now that you're getting to be annoying!

\- I? I beg your pardon!

My trust in creation, annoying!

My love for redemption: disappearing to reappear!

When old and wise... please, don't let them shine me through something beautiful!

And now I am being an idiot!

Now, how much for this?

The best answer is always another chance.

Our trust in creation, recreation we need.

All humans with good hearts help to recreate what is beautiful!

Our trust we all put in Love,

Our freedom in God,

Our wishes sent to the Lord!

Our mind asks for more

As the soul craves for something most wonderful!

Remember how beautiful you really are!

Please, remember!

#### Responsibility Issues

*

"I'll give you the world but you should take care of it!

It is dangerous to make a mess and mess with the world, my friend!

I'll give you the power to be and behave;

What's wrong now?

You don't like me to treat you as my equal!?

Here, I give you the world

But take care of it!

Nurture, love it and always be prepared to save it

When the world is in need to be saved!

Here: I give you the world,

My beloved world!

Take care if it

And be ready to fight whoever or whatever might stand-up

Against it! "

*

I've got work to do

So, I can be accepted among you;

I have to read and learn

But I'm not where I should run all these wishes of mine

...

I was already adapted to your world!

What went wrong!?

No, I didn't forget, I am just playing stupid.

Don't we have to forgive?

See if anyone cares, if anyone dares to mess with you!

See if anyone cared, if anyone dared to love you!

See if anyone fought, if anyone laughed with you;

For you all things got done: disgraceful.

How much for this?

The best answer is always a second chance.

See if anyone wants what you had to offer!

Go see who took it all and why is that you were left alone

Without hoping for more

Than what you were capable of fighting for!

Go and see why, love her for saying goodbye

To all of you!

She never cared for our love and our future!

" _I gave you the world and what did you do with it? Sow me!_

Should I believe it!?

I gave you the world, now, tell me,

What did you do with it!?

How did you help it!?

I gave you the world, my world is beautiful!

She was and always will be too beautiful for you

To destroy!

I gave you the world, my world!

You will never hurt her,

You will never make her cry more than you should cry

For your own mistakes,

For your own troubling and rotting selves,

Dying for what was not yours to take!

I gave you the world, never mess with him or her,

Never try to hurt them!

I gave you my world,

Never try to mess with it!

It's over!"

*

I have to work on this, alone together!

There is no way I'll get back to them and all our sorrow!

There will be always a way to those who loved you!

Never despair for not getting to be loved

By those who couldn't support

Your soul in sadness and sorrow.

Don't mourn for me for too long now,

Go and be happy!

For me!

Do it for me,

If not for everyone else in the family.

Not wanting you to suffer is not a sin!

How much would you pay for all this?

Nothing. I don't pay for suffering!

I never had to work too hard for anything!

I never worked too much for what I wanted to earn!

I was never cursed or hated or loved enough to be food for the aliens!

I was never a monstrous creature

Only someone who didn't know how to end this!

See if anyone dares, if anyone tries

to mess with him and his thoughts!

See if anyone else thinks they can!

See if anyone fights their troubles and pains!

Go and see if that world of yours changed!

See if anyone contributes to the best of these shares!

Go and see if anyone would pay you a visit!

Go and see if anyone would repay you for the work that you did?!

Why did you have to bring-up the whole truth!?

How much for all this?

The best answer is always a blank page.

