Paging Doctor Jones and Doctor Free to the O.R.
[Singing] Surgery
Doctor Jones, Doctor Free
[Michael]: I'll cut your heart out and slap it in inside your brain
and then I'll fucking throw it at the wall
[Michael]: Gimme your guts, I got your guts
I'll put them inside your butt
This is the Surgeon Simulator crew
and we gonna fucking come perform surgery on you!
[Gavin laughing]
[Michael]: Well it doesn't get much better than that.
[Gavin]: And we're back in the operating room Michael.
[Michael]: and my laptop's covered in spit.
[Michael]: Gavin, were you spitting?
[Gavin]: A little, a little bit.
[Gavin]: Alright, where were we up to?
[Michael]: Alright, Gavin, we're up to, uh...
[Gavin]: This is so loud in my ear I can't-
[Michael]: Alright calm down, dude! Calm down, I'll turn the volume down.
[Michael]: Alright so Gavin.
[Gavin]: Yeah
[Michael]: We're 28% in.
Uh, now this, for the first time ever in Surgeon Simulator: Let's play.
[Michael]: Not a rage quit.
[Gavin]: Oh yeah this is not a rage quit.
[Michael]: Let's play, so we got time.
You're already fucking shit up.
So you're on the hand, you know, as usual.
I got the fingies.
So this time we're gonna go into outer space again,
but we're gonna go for the secret alien missions.
[Gavin]: Right I heard about these, they added new missions.
[Michael]: Yeah, so some kind of alien goo and shit.
Okay, so, in order to do that, there's some complicated
Ma- like, uh... fucking... mystery bullshit in the main menu here to get all the codes,
[Michael]: I just looked it up online.
[Gavin]: Oh!
[Michael]: So we have the code.
[Gavin]: What's the code?
[Michael]: It's 296145
[Gavin]: So it is.
[Michael]: Thanks [laughing]
[Michael]: So what we have to do is: go to the last level in the game,
so go over to operations there...
Okay, go over to "Space"
and you'll see we've actually gotten further than we ever did
'cause it took me about two hours today to beat these last two levels.
So, uh, fire off into the last level, the brain transplant,
and there's gonna be a- 
[Gavin]: Whoa
[Michael]: Okay, yeah, you're fine, don't worry.
There's gonna be a little code thing in the right hand corner here, in the back.
We're gonna have to put that fucking 6 digit number- [Gavin]: Immediately lost the watch
Yeah well the watch is not sticking around, okay?
[Michael]: So we need to enter the code, 296145-
[Gavin]: God...
[Michael]: into this fucking thing
[Gavin]: Well, here's part 1 of the video.
[Michael]: Yeah, this is the first 25 fucking minutes
So, uh, I've got my finger out. Take care of the rest, Gavin.
[Michael]: You missed the 6 already.
[Gavin]: How do I clear it?
[Michael]: You gotta, fucking, just bash a bunch of buttons
[Gavin]: Okay.
[Michael]: You gotta hit it like 6 times in order to reset it.
So ever time you fuck this up, which is gonna be a lot
we have to do this.
[Gavin]: How are we ever gonna do it?
[Michael]: I don't- I said we should do it beforehand!
And you insited that we film it.
[Gavin]: I didn't realize it was gonna- okay hold on lemme tease the 2
[Michael]: 6, 6 first! Oh no, 2, never mind.
[Both laughing]
[Michael]: Fuck. Oh, there you go
[Gavin]: 2, 9...
[Michael]: Oh, dude, you might get this. Look at th- Oh, making it look easy
[Michael]: Okay, 6, this is a tricky one.
[Michael]: You fucked it up.
[Michael]: God dammit.
[Gavin]: Ugh. Alright, 2...
[Gavin]: Dammit!
[Michael]: God damn, dude!
[Michael]: Okay.
[Gavin]: How do we get, like, precision strikes?
[Michael]: Uh, I don't know!
Precision strikes?
[Michael]: Use your skillset
[Gavin]: Okay.
[Michael]: Use two-handed.
[Michael]: If you use two fingers you can do it twice as fast
Watch out for the scissors
[Gavin]: They are spinning around
[Michael]: Tease it in.
[Gavin]: I like the cool piano music,
[Gavin]: it's not as hardcore as the menu music.
[Michael]: No.
[Gavin]: Two!
[Michael]: I dunno what the music's gonna be like on the next level
There's a fucking pizza cutter in the way
[Gavin]: Nine...
[Gavin]: Nine is easy. Two is easy, nine is easy.
[Gavin]: Six... that's a different barrel of worms
[Michael]: Tease it on in
[Michael]: Oh, oh...
[Gavin]: Ay! Okay.
[Gavin]: Alright, one.
[Michael]: One. That's an easy one.
[Gavin]: Okay.
[Michael]: "Easy one", get it?
[Gavin]: I get it.
[Michael]: 'Cause it's one.
[Gavin]: Pizza cutter trimmed my fingernail there
[Michael]: Nah you're fine
[Michael]: Makes it- okay there we go.
[Gavin]: One...
[Michael]: Four five, four five Gavin.
[Gavin]: Oh, God. The five is gonna be a nightmare.
[Michael]: The five is fucking... shit.
[Michael]: Uh
[Michael]: Oh!
[Michael]: NO! Ah! Fuck
[Michael]: It's frightening!
Don't you hit that fucking seven.
Don't you do it!
[Gavin]: Hang on, hang on
It's so impossible
[Michael]: Oh my God...
[Laughter]
[Gavin]: Alright, alright, hold on
I'm trying to rest it on this plate
[Michael]: The- the brain plate?
Dude, my fingers are getting tired from holding it out
[Michael]: COME ON!
[Gavin]: I don't wanna hit the wrong one!
[Michael]: Fucking Christ.
[Gavin]: Ah! Ah!
[Michael]: God dammit, Gavin!
Why!?
[Michael]: Why!?
[Gavin]: No!
[Michael]: Fucking shit...
[Gavin]: Oh God... That's the closest we're gonna get ever.
[Michael]: You know how when you almost beat the map, like the first time you play Trials?
and then you just get worse and worse and worse?
[Gavin]: Yeah that was it.
[Michael]: Prepare for that.
[Michael]: Aw, I'm losing my grip.
[Michael]: Hang on, okay. Okay we're back.
Wait, what if we can hit twice as many buttons?
[Gavin]: What, if we do the shocker on this keyp- dammit!
[Laughter]
[Michael]: My fingers... I'm sweating all over the fucking keyboard
Okay, alright.
[Gavin]: What, in real life?
[Michael]: Yeah! Look at it, it's in front of you!
[Gavin]: Oh that is wet.
That is wet, Michael.
[Gavin]: Okay
[Michael]: What does it look like in real life for you, Gavin? Describe it to me.
[Gavin]: Soggy.
[Michael]: Aw, fuck! Hang on, hang on, lemme fix my fingers.
[Gavin]: Shoot, you made me press 8!
[Michael]: Hang on. Look at my handprint on the keyboard.
[Michael]: It's fucking gross
[Gavin]: That's disgusting
[Michael]: Okay, we got this.
[Gavin]: Teasing the 6 in...
[Gavin]: [Frustrated sigh]
[Michael]: [Laughter]
[Gavin]: This is so difficult, this is-
[Michael]: [Mocking] "No, we should film it, Michael. It'll be great!"
[Gavin]: This is harder than the surgery
[Michael]: Dude, lemme tell you. That double kidney transplant? Not easy.
Spent some time on it.
[Michael]: Finally passed with a D, though.
Oh my God, you're fucking speeding through it here.
[Gavin]: It- it's 'cause the plate is in the way.
[Michael]: It's not a fucking plate!
What kind of plate have you ever seen like that!?
[Gavin]: Alright, hang on, I've got the-
[Michael]: I wanna fucking let go of these fingers soon
[Michael]: Oh! Okay, okay. All you need to do is hit the one with every number around it.
[Gavin]: [Laughter] Okay, okay
[Michael]: You got this, come on.
[Both]: Hey!
[Michael]: Alright!
[Michael]: Achievement unlocked: enter the code
[Gavin]: Why is it flashing, though?
[Michael]: 'Cause we did it.
[Gavin]: Are we gonna be ejected above the earth?
[Michael]: No, I don't think so.
[Michael]: So, I think
[Both]: OH!
[Michael]: Oh wait, I'm totally wrong. I don't know what the hell's happening
[Gavin]: Uh...
[Gavin]: Airlock. 
[Michael]: Oh shit.
[Screaming]
[Michael]: Oh shit!
[Michael]: Alright, I didn't know that happened
[Michael]: What a reward!
[Gavin]: Whoa!
[Michael]: Okay.
[Gavin]: [Sigh of relief]
[Michael]: Alright.
So we got sucked out of space and now we're back in the- in the hospital
[Gavin]: Now what do we do?
[Michael]: So there should be a tape somewhere
[Michael]: with a- with a, like a VHS tape
[Gavin]: Ugh, here it is
[Michael]: with alien symbols on it
[Gavin]: I like that we ejected into space and we came back with a VHS.
[Michael]: Alright, hang on... hang on lemme get my uh...
[Cough]
[Michael]: lemme get my uh... my mitts on this.
[Gavin]: Yeah
[Michael]: There we go
[Gavin]: That's what I'm cookin' about.
[Gavin]: talking about [Laughter]
[Michael]: Talk about that cookin'!
[Michael]: Get it in there.
[Laughter]
[Both]: Ayo!
[Michael]: Alright!
[Gavin]: Alright.
[Michael]: Dude. We got this shit.
[Gavin]: It's a TV system.
[Michael]: Oh God.
[Gavin]: Eugh.
[Michael]: This is like "Signs" with Mel Gibson
That was a great movie.
[Gavin]: It's like "Signs" without Mel Gibson.
[Michael]: It was a pretty good movie.
[Michael]: That's the fucking aliens-
[Gavin]: Good grief.
[Michael]: Predator. Alright.
[Gavin]: What's the code?
[Michael]: I dunno what the hell this is.
[Gavin]: Were we meant to pay attention?
[Ray]: [Off mic] Were you not paying attention to the numbers? 4948.
[Gavin]: Oh, really!?
[Michael]: What, did something happen?
[Ray]: Yes, there were numbers flashing! 4948!
[Gavin]: Cheers, Ray!
[Michael]: Ray says 4948.
[Ray]: Those are the four numbers I saw.
[Michael]: Okay. [Laughter] Thanks, Ray!
And then Gavin hit a one. [Laughter]
Shout out to Ray for, the only one watching us play
[Laughter]
[Gavin]: Four...
[Michael]: Come on, COME ON! Dude!
[Gavin]: It's difficult, Michael.
[Michael]: You keep hitting 7!
[Gavin]: It might be the angle of the finger. It's misleading my depth perception.
[Michael]: No, you're just fucking dumb.
[Gavin]: 4... 8, what was it?
[Ray and Michael together]: 4948!
[Gavin]: Easy- easy mistake to make.
[Laughter]
[Michael]: Alright hit the 8, we got this.
Aw yeah! Alright, somethings gonna happen, maybe our dick's gonna get wet...
[Ray]: Save the day.
[Michael]: I think this is, uh, this is the subject.
[Gavin]: COME TO ME.
[Laughter]
[Michael]: YOU. 
[Gavin]: Weh- chosen one.
[Michael]: Aw dude, achievement!
Aw, dude, he's missing all his fucking teeth!
[Gavin]: Gavichal!
[Michael]: OH! Fucking first one look at that shit!
[Gavin]: It's us!
[Michael]: It knew!
[Gavin]: What's a Gavichal look like?
[Michael]: The Gavichal, uh, I don't kn-
[Gavin]: Oh, use this ninja thing!
[Michael]: Wait, I don't know what a Gavichal even looks like!
[Gavin]: Use the ninja plate!
[Screaming]
[Michael]: God dammit!
[Gavin]: Aw, it's low gravity again!
[Michael]: Stop hitting it!
[Gavin]: Alright, oh uh- PILLS! PILLS!
[Gavin]: Ah, it's a Pritt stick! It's a Pritt stick Michael!
[Michael]: [Laughing] I don't know why- I dont-
[Michael]: Gavin I was just holding my stomach for some reason.
[Gavin]: Let's glue him.
[Michael]: Like I was afraid you were gonna stab me
[Gavin]: Ah! The Pritt Stick!
[Michael]: [Laughing] You fuck.
[Michael]: Alright.
[Gavin]: What's this, like, bag here? What is this?
[Michael]: So these are all the organs, and I forget what ours looks like.
Ours looks like a little- it's like a little... bip.
[Gavin]: Is it this fist thing?
[Michael]: I don't fucking know what it is!
[Michael]: I- It's gotta be this, right?
[Gavin]: Gavichal... is it like a clavicle?
[Michael]: I dunno.
[Gavin]: Alright let's pizza cut this.
[Gavin]: They have a- Oh what is this, like a-
[Michael]: Stop fucking slapping everything!
[Gavin]: It's like a hose tap, what is this?
[Michael]: Yeah, grab it. No, wait, hang on.
[Gavin]: That's the- Oh, the drill's going, the drill's going!
[Michael]: Whoa!
[Gavin]: Bash the drill away.
[Michael]: [Laughter]
[Gavin]: UGH.
[Michael]: Where's the Gavichal?! Is this it?
[Michael]: Check this one.
[Gavin]: How long is my arm?!
[Michael]: No your arm's long as shit, dude.
[Gavin]: Do do do do [imitating background music]
[Michael]: Beep boop beep boop [joining in]
[Gavin]: Do we have a wireless laser now? We do- it's not even-
[Michael]: Ray, pointing out the Gavichal. Ray's our living strategy guide.
[Michael]: Gavin, just lasering the shit out of the alien.
[Michael]: Ok, sto- its just a lid man.
[Gavin]: Alright, let's cut this-
[Ray]: If you touch the spikes on the Gavichal you will be drugged.
[Michael and Gavin]: Oh!
[Michael]: Great, you mean WHEN we touch the spikes on the Gavichal we will be drugged? Thanks Ray.
[Gavin]: Let's cut open this blue piece of shit.
[Michael]: You're just fucking murdering him.
[Gavin]: Whats the name of that um-
[Michael]: He's also not blue dude, in any way.
[Gavin]: Look at his blood, it's blue. Its like the bird out of Fifth Element.
[Michael]: But he's not blue!
[Gavin]: Look at his face!
[Michael]: Would you call a human a red piece of shit?!
[Gavin laughing]
[Michael]: Doesn't make any sense!
[Gavin squealing]
[Gavin]: Why is this-?
[Michael]: He looks shocked ok. Are you telling me this guy's alive?
He doesn't look alive to me.
[Michael]: Ooh! He's loosing lots of blood!
[Gavin]: Ok he's loosing blue.
[Gavin]: I uh, I wonder if th the stones, the stones are in here.
[Michael]: What stones?
[Gavin]: From the Fifth Element.
[Michael]: Oh dude!
Pull 'em out.
[Gavin groaning]
[Michael]: Alright, wow dude-
[Gavin]: They're in me!
[Michael and Gavin laughing]
[Gavin]: How does this-? I dunno.
[Michael]: Dude he is getting uh murdered real good, is there drugs near by? Because-
[Gavin]: Oh yeah let's ditch this. Throw it throw it.
[Michael]: Alright.
[Gavin]: Oh god!
[Michael]: It's thrown. Look at his fucking face!
[Gavin]: How do we, where's the uh- Do they have space drugs? [Michael]: Look around dude, look around!
[Gavin]: Jesus!
[Gavin]: Um-
[Michael]: I don't see any.
[Gavin]: Pill! Let's wedge a pill in his mouth!
[Michael snorting]
[Gavin]: Alright catch this pill. Catch the pill!
[Michael]: I'm tryin' dude.
[Gavin]: Alright there's pills down here, nevermind.
[Gavin]: Let's get this pill Michael.
[Michael in a low voice]: You!
[Michael grunts]
[Michael grunts]
[Gavin]: Music is so good.
[Michael grunts]
[Michael]: [Grunts] Did I get it? Its like catching a caterpiller.
[Gavin]: [Spits] How do you catch a caterpillar like that?
[Michael]: It's- You don't that's what I'm sayin'. It's hard.
[Screaming]
[Michael]: Alright so this guy's fucked.
[Gavin]: [Spitting] If we can just grab this pill I think we can be ok.
[Michael]: I don't think we can shove the pill in his mouth dude. [Gavin]: OH PILL PILL, PILL, GRAB THE DAMN PILL MICHAEL!!!
[Gavin grunts]
[Michael] Oh God
[Gavin]: Oh whats this, whats this?
[Michael]: Thats his fucking face!
[Gavin]: Bloddy scissors bouncing off his head.
[Michael]: You're slapping him in the face.
[Gavin]: Oh whats this?
[Michael]: Thats his life wasting away before our very eyes.
[Gavin]: Got my hand wedged in a light bulb.
[Michael]: No grab it, grab the light. Oh scissors in his brain!
[Gavin]: How many blue armed idiots does it take to change a light bulb?
[Michael]: [Laughing] More than one.
[Gavin]: Maybe we can shake the life back into him.
[Michael]: Hang on you gotta-
Wake up!
[Michael laughing] [Gavin]: Oh he's chompin! He's chompin!
[Gavin]: Oh we gotta put a pill in his mouth and make him chomp it, haven't we?
Let go of his head. Let go of his head!
Oh wait grab his jaw.
[Gavin]: Grab the bottom of his-
[Michael]: [with relief] Ok!
[Michael laughing] [Gavin groaning]
[Gavin]: Oh wait do it again.
[Michael]: [Laughing quietly]
[Michael]: Wai-
[Gavin spits]
[Michael in alien voice]: Take me to your leader!
[Gavin]: What do they- what do they say in "Mars Attacks!" ?
[Gavin imitating aliens from "Mars Attacks!"]
[Michael laughing]
[Gavin]: Argh
[Glass shatters]
[Michael]: And then he died.
[Gavin]: Oh!
I just smashed his cranium against [sounding quieter] the back of the table!
[Michael]: Next!
Oh God!
