LOUIS CK: It's like that movie American Beauty.  Remember that movie?
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Oh yea.
LOUIS CK: They've got Kevin Spacey playing the man.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: A heterosexual yea.
LOUIS CK: And he's in love with. He wants to fuck... hes fantasizing about fucking a cheerleader in high school 
and the way they represent this in this gay movie 
this fucking bunch of cum through a projector that this movie was. Is..  
According to this movie when you fantasize about a cheerleader you lay on your back and flower petals fall all over you.  
Rose petals just fall all over your body.  
Thats what you think about. Instead of just like her hot sweaty ass and 
the confused look on her face as you fucking cum in her stupid eye.
LAUGHING
LOUSI CK: Hold her throat and tell her not to tell people.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Throw her into a cab. And she's crying.
LOUIS CK: Yea exactly, Fucking bleach your hair and move out of town.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Give me a C Give me a U Give me an N Give me a T as you punch her in the belly.
LOUIS CK: Avoid her calls when she skips her period a fucking month later.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: She's holding a miller lite on her eye to put down the swelling.
LOUIS CK LAUGHS
RADIO ANNOUNCER: When I'm done I want the sheets to look like there are rose petals on it.
LOUIS CK LAUGHS
RADIO ANNOUNCER: You make her wear a fucking cheerleader outfit while you give her ass to mouth.
LOUIS CK: Exactly. Fucking. God.  No it's Kevin Spacey with this sweet look on his face 
and theres flower petals and jazzy music.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Yea that's how you fantasize.
LOUIS CK: With those wooden blocks...
RADIO ANNOUNCER:  And then the marine at the end of the movie.  The marine of course.  The ex-marine.  
He's really... He's the one who's really gay.
LOUIS CK: Yea he's the one who's really gay.  
None of us are gay.  
It's actually that one hetero guy that's the gay one.  
Noone else is gay.  
Kevin Spaceys not gay.  
He's fucking straight as an arrow. He lifts weights, listens to Zeppelin, drives a firebird. 
And thinks about fucking rose petals. 
And then when he actually sees her tits he almost vomits.  
And puts a blanket around her.  Where the fuck is 
the fucking man theres no man there.  
RADIO ANNOUNCER: No absolutely not.
LOUIS CK: He finally sees the 18 year old tits and goes 
oh what have I been doing all this time 
I forgot I like men and their anuses.  
I like fat hogs.  I don't like vaginas they're disgusting.
