
Lanette of the Land © 2013, 1997 Christa Bedwin

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be republished in any form or by any means without written permission from the publisher.

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ISBN 978-0-9918976-1-2

Book design by Aaron Dalton.

Cover design by Sean Young.

Cover photo by Henry Lickorish.

# Other Books by Christa Bedwin

This book is part of a trilogy:

  * _The Celtic Coast Connection_ Jane and Rory's story (Nova Scotia and Alberta)
  * _Lanette of the Land_ Lanette and Rob's story (prairies and mountains of Alberta)
  * _Two Secrets and a Chase_ Carrie and Joe's story (Alberta and Australia)

# Coming soon

  * _Her Touch_ : Meg and Andrew's story (Australia and China)
  * Mariko and Mac's story (Vancouver)

This book is dedicated to my mother (who I have often described as, "You know Clint Eastwood? Picture tougher than that.") and to all my other tough female rancher relatives and ancestresses.

We're descended from pioneer women who lived in the wilderness through Canadian winters and did things like shoot really accurately (of necessity) while riding a horse, and raise kids who could do anything, too.

So we modern ranch women must live up to our forebears, and we're tough and we can do anything. I will admit that all that tough can-do-ness also does often seem to come with a measure of pigheadedness. Okay, more like several grain bags full of pigheadedness. Luckily, our heroine, Lanette, gets over hers just enough by the end. (You were expecting happily ever after, right?) The men who love these women love them fiercely and know how to persevere. It's the only way. And we're worth it.

# Chapter One

Lanette answered the phone in her usual upbeat voice. "Good morning, Yellowfield Travel..."

"Hello, this is Rob Langevin, of Blue & White Tours in Canmore. Could I speak with the manager, please?"

Lanette felt the deep attractive rumbles in the man's voice echo all the way to her stomach, and felt faint for a moment. _What an odd physical reaction,_ she thought. She conducted much of her business over the telephone and had become particularly sensitive to the variations and tones in clients' telephone voices, but she had never had an overheated reaction like this.

"Hello?"

Lanette cleared her throat and shook her head in an effort to focus her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, the owner is out of the office just now. Is there any way I might help you?"

... _Help you with anything...?_ Lanette's face suffused with heat as her distracted mind wandered to conjuring ways she might "help" the sexy-sounding man. _I never blush. Sure, Jane says I'm 'precocious' about my men, but thinking this way after a few sentences out of the man's mouth is a bit much for even me! He's probably sixty, fat, and married._

Somehow her body didn't think so. Images of a virile, flashing-eyed, muscle bound hunk flashed through her mind, and she almost snorted with laughter on the phone. Then she nearly sighed. That's why they were called fantasies, she reminded herself. Thoughts like that, however arrived at, seldom panned out in reality. Her concentration was drawn back to the man's words.

"Perhaps you can help. I'm looking to give away a promotional adventure tour to one of your agents, as a way of familiarizing you with our services."

"Oh! Are you guiding it, as well?" Determined to dispel her fantasy, Lanette let tact fall by the wayside. _That ought to settle the question of how old and/or fat he is..._

"I am guiding one of the tours, in fact...but we're holding four different adventures for tourism professionals."

"Our office probably would be interested in your company, Mr...." Lanette glanced down to the scratch pad where she'd automatically noted his name at the beginning of the call, "Langevin. Brooks has got plenty of young people looking for adventure holidays on their time off."

"Would you like to take the particulars of the tours and have the owner get back to me later?" he offered.

Lanette did a quick calculation in her head. She was fairly certain that neither her boss nor his wife, Alice, would mind if she signed herself up for the tour. Well into their middle age, they were a comfortable couple and not inclined towards 'adventure tours'. "We can probably settle the details right now, Mr. Langevin."

"Please, call me Rob."

Again that frisson down her spine pooled somewhere warmly in her middle as Lanette's body reacted to his voice.

"All right."

"You do realize that some level of fitness is required? You haven't even asked what sort of adventure is entailed."

"Well, if you're a tour company out of Canmore, I am guessing we'll either be hiking, skiing, kayaking, rafting, horseback riding..." Lanette chewed on her hair as she thought of another alternative.

The man laughed and she felt her stomach respond again.

"You do know your business, don't you? We are offering a choice of paragliding, rock climbing, horseback riding, and white-water rafting, for this promotion. But you're correct, we do offer the other services you mentioned."

She chewed her lip for a moment and then decided she might as well go for the gusto. "Which tour are you leading?"

There was no hint of surprise in his voice as he replied, "I'll be along on the hiking/rock-climbing tour, from..."

"Sure."

"Pardon me?"

"Sign me up on that one."

He paused for a second, but didn't comment on her hasty decision. "All right...I'll just need some particulars, then. Name?"

"Lanette Scott. Spell that L-a-n-e-t-t-e S-c-o-t-t."

"Okay. Company name and address?"

"Yellowfield Travel, 453 Main Street, Brooks, Alberta, T1R 1D3."

"Your position in the company?"

"Travel Agent."

"Number of agents in the company?"

"Three."

"Height?"

"Six feet." Lanette was surprised when he didn't comment on her height, as nearly everyone did.

"Weight?"

"One hundred seventy-five pounds."

"Are you sure you're fit enough to take on a four-day trek?"

Oh. Her weight, he commented on. "I'm a ranch girl, Mr. Langevin. I can assure you my weight is composed of toned muscle, not fat."

There was a pregnant pause and Lanette wished she hadn't come across sounding so aggressive and proud. Eventually, he just cleared his throat and continued.

"Eye colour?"

"Green."

"Hair colour?"

"Brunette." As Lanette answered that last one, she found herself wondering, _what's that got to do with a hiking tour?_

"Plans for next Saturday?"

"I'm attending a conference in Calgary...Is that the date of the tour?" Lanette's voice dropped with disappointment.

"No..." he seemed to hesitate. "Is that the Travel Alberta conference that you'll be attending?"

"Yes, it is," Lanette, a busy woman more of action than of words, might normally be impatient with all this rambling chatter on the telephone, but she found herself semi-hypnotized by the smooth, deep timbre of the man's voice, and in no hurry for the conversation to end. _Rob's voice_ , she thought, trying his name in her mind, and finding she liked it, that the smooth round syllable matched the deep masculine sounds she heard on the telephone line.

"Perhaps I'll see you there. I'm attending the same one."

"Maybe...it's a pretty big conference, though. There will be lots of different sections."

There was a pause, and Lanette, absurdly, wished he would ask to meet her. "Ah well," Lanette thought she heard him sigh, "We'll see. Anyway, I'll send you the brochure along with the release papers for the trip. If you can sign them and get them back to me quickly, I would appreciate it."

"All right," Lanette agreed. There was a pause. _I suppose I should get off the phone,_ she thought.

"Thank you," he said.

"No, thank _you_ ," she insisted, but her normal teasing, flirty tone sounded forced. _Nerves,_ she realized, as she noted the clench in her stomach. An unusual reaction, for her. There was another pause, as if neither could think of anything more to say, but were reluctant to hang up.

"Good-bye, then," he said, at last, and Lanette imagined, hoped, that he sounded reluctant.

"Good-bye. Have a nice day." she replied, and already missed him, as she hung up the phone.

Lanette was completely distracted the next day when the mail arrived at the office. She tried to regain her focus on the booking she'd been working on, but soon gave it up as useless. She hopped up from her desk and sorted through the stack of flyers and envelopes that sat where the mail lady had left them on the front counter.

She riffled through them quickly, and put them down with a sigh. _Naturally it wouldn't have arrived overnight,_ she chided herself.

She had mentioned Rob's call to her boss, picking early morning, when he was at his most chipper, to tell him about it. He had not seemed at all upset at the initiative she'd taken in accepting the tour for herself. He and Alice had just taken their annual Caribbean "reconnaissance mission." He was feeling tanned, happy, and generous.

The next day she didn't even try to dampen her curiosity. She met the mailwoman at the door. And so the next day. No luck. She grew increasingly disgusted with herself as she eagerly checked the empty mail deliveries. _I'm like one of the horses,_ she thought, _perking up my ears at each new visitor to see if they have any treats!_

In the evenings she couldn't stop thinking of that warm, rumbling deep voice. _It's like fire under the earth,_ she thought, in a rare romantic flight of fancy.

"Jane, I am just obsessed!" she complained to her friend, when they met for their regular Thursday lunch date. "I can't get this guy out of my mind...and I haven't even met him!"

"Maybe you _should_ meet him," Jane suggested. "There hasn't been a guy you couldn't handle, yet. The mystique will probably wear off once you see him in person."

Lanette chewed her rare-cooked steak musingly. "You're probably right. But what am I going to do? Call him up and say, 'hey, mister, I find your voice so enchanting that I was wondering if you'd like to hop into bed'?"

"Lanny!" Despite more than a decade's friendship, Lanette still shocked Jane frequently. Jane, a high school teacher, seemed tough on the outside, but was soft and innocent on the inside. But Lanette was a different story. Exuberant and adventurous on the outside, sometimes she really seemed to have a core of steel. There wasn't much that could bend Lanette Scott, and when she had a goal, she pursued it like a steam train.

"Well, Jane, honestly, it would look a bit silly if I went panting after him when he was only calling on business."

"True, I suppose," Jane said slowly. "Is there any possibility of arranging a chance meeting?"

"Maybe." Lanette brightened. "He did say he would also be attending the meetings in Calgary next weekend...maybe, if those papers he promised to send would ever arrive, I could find some small technical detail to phone him up over, and wiggle some more information out of him."

Jane gazed at her with admiration. "You see? I knew you'd think of something. I don't call you _precocious_ for nothing."

As luck would have it, the envelope from Blue and White Tours arrived while Lanette was out to lunch. Alice had opened the envelope with the other mail and gave her a sly smile as she walked back into the office.

"It looks like you caught someone's attention!"

Lanette shot Alice the same wry, pestered glance that she might use on her little sister. Small-town living was great—unless you valued your privacy!

Lanny sighed. _No need to beat around the bush_ , she thought. She'd never be able to keep a secret around here. "Did the envelope come with the papers and the brochure?"

" _And_ a rather touching letter," Alice smirked.

"I suppose you read it, too?" Lanette sighed.

Alice looked at her with wide-eyed innocence. "I didn't realize it was personal mail, Lanette. I assumed it was professional."

"Ah, well. Are you going to tell me the contents word for word, or let me read it myself?"

"I put the whole package on your desk." Alice winked conspiratorially at her. "I'm going to take my lunch, now. I guess you'd like to be alone with that letter." Lanette played it cool and nonchalant, just to get on Alice's nerves, until her co-worker had gathered her purse and moseyed out the door. Then she raced over to her desk to pick up the handwritten letter. He'd used blue pen on beige company stationery with a mountain motif. His handwriting was neat and strong and Lanette's heart skipped a beat when she looked at it. It was almost like somewhere, deep inside her, she recognized his style.

_Lanette,_

_I'm_ _glad you decided to come along on our hiking and rock climbing tour. I enjoyed talking to you on the telephone and hope to see you at the conference. If you have any further questions about the tour or any of Blue and White's other services, please give me a call._

_Rob_

There were some release papers that Lanette was to sign and the registration form that Rob had already partially filled out. Lanette scanned the details but her heart was pounding too quickly to think straight. Roughly, she sat down at her desk and forced herself to focus, to check the details he'd put down. _Hey, there is no place for hair and eye colour here!_

_He enjoyed talking to me. He hopes to see me at the conference._

She noticed with a sinking heart that the tour was not scheduled until July, four months down the road. _So if I don't run into him at the conference, I won't get to meet him for ages._ She sighed. _I wish I at least knew what he looks like. I would have thought he would send a brochure, or something..._

She filled in the rest of the details on the forms and placed them in the return envelope to be mailed later. _Okay, time to get back to work, Lanny girl,_ she told herself. She searched her desk blindly, hoping to remember which project she had planned to work on next. Unfortunately, she was meticulously tidy by habit and had filed all her projects away before lunch. Normally she had a mind like a steel trap, and didn't bother writing many things down, since she remembered everything, anyway. Now, however, with a blank mind, she had no clues as to what she was supposed to be doing.

She checked her phone and e-mail messages, but there hadn't been any since lunch.

_He enjoyed talking to me. He hopes to see me at the conference._

She was still sitting somewhat blankly behind her tidy desk when Alice returned.

"Oh, Lanette," the other woman said, "I forgot to tell you, there were some brochures with the forms...would you like to see them?"

Lanette looked at Alice with a sufficiently intense lack of expression to make the other woman blush. _It's so obvious that she did this on purpose._ Her voice was calm when she said, "Sure, Alice, that would be nice."

"I'll just bring them, then," said Alice, and scurried over to her desk to get the brochures. When she came back she was unflustered again, her usual cheeky, annoying self. "What has gotten into you, Lanette, that you're being so serious and secretive about this tour, huh?"

"I don't think anything is different, Alice," Lanette lied. "I'd just like to have all the information. Nothing different than any trips or tours I have taken."

"If nothing's different, why have you been checking the mail so eagerly all week? And why are you blushing?"

Lanette gave up. Alice would get to the bottom of everything, eventually, so maybe it would be better to just satisfy her curiosity. Maybe then she would get a little peace.

"Okay, fine. It was just that I found the tour guide's voice on the phone...interesting."

"That's it?" Alice didn't believe her.

"That's truly it. I have never met him, there's no history, nothing. I just liked his voice."

"Hmm. I knew you have always been tuned into people's voices, Lanette, but this is _strange_. However, I guess you haven't been wrong yet."

Lanette shrugged.

"So," Alice asked, "When are you going to meet him?"

"Maybe not until the tour."

Alice regarded her with a dropped jaw. "You, precocious Lanette Scott, are hesitating about arranging a date with a man? Well." Alice blinked, and she sat down. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Lanette, uncharacteristically, looked at the floor. She shrugged. She was silent.

Alice blinked again. "What was that he said about a conference?"

Lanette sighed. "He's going to that tourism conference in Calgary, next weekend, the same one I am attending."

"How will you recognize each other if you don't make some plans? Come on, Lanette, I've never seen you act shy about men before. It's not like you to waste a prime opportunity like this."

"Well, he knows my hair, eye colour, height, and weight...he asked them over the phone, as if he was putting them down on the form."

"Mmm..." Alice nodded knowingly. "Then he must have been intrigued by you, too."

"Maybe his picture is in the brochure. Come on, Alice, let's take a look."

The two women opened up the glossy photo pages and pored over them. The first was a photo of a raft of excited-looking people heading over a white-water rapid, but you couldn't really identify any particular features under the helmets and lifejackets. Under the picture were details of the different rafting trips that were available, including length, difficulty, and price. A small-print caption read: _Brad Wakely guides a six-man raft over an exciting rapid in the Lower Canyon of the Kicking Horse River._

Alice nodded her head. "You know, at least we have got to admit that this company's got a good brochure. They've got all the details in there. Is Brad the name of your guy?"

Lanette shook her head. "No, it's Rob." The syllable rolled pleasantly off Lanette's tongue, and Alice smiled to herself. _Oh, yes, Lanette is really hooked, this time. She's feeling shy, as she never has before, and she's saying his name with that extra bit of sweetness, wistful sweetness that I never thought I'd see in this tough girl..._

The second photo showed three people, a strong-looking woman and two rather handsome young men, clinging to a rock face, grinning hugely for the camera. _The joys of climbing with Joe Berry._

_"_ Hey, isn't that Caroline Banks?" Alice asked Lanette.

Lanette peered closer at the photo. "Yeah, so it is. Gee, I haven't seen her since we graduated from school. I wonder if she knows she's in this brochure?"

"Maybe _she_ could introduce you to Rob."

"Ah, Alice, would you stop worrying? He's probably married with children anyways."

"And guiding mountain tours? I doubt it. Married people aren't so adventurous."

"Just because you and Ken are so cozily settled and relaxed, doesn't mean everybody lives that way, Alice."

"Maybe you're right." Alice waved her hand, obviously unconcerned.

"Anyway, I think I heard through the grapevine that Caroline moved to Radium. She's operating a hotel or something. So it'd be kind of tricky to arrange a chance meeting."

A third photo showed a line of rugged mountain bikes disappearing up a forested, rocky, mountain path. _Hit the trails with Colin Jones._

Lanette was getting impatient with the slowness with which Alice was perusing the photos. _I just want to see a picture of Rob,_ she thought. But there was no doubt Alice was being slow just to be pesky, and Lanette wouldn't give her the satisfaction of reacting.

Finally Alice took her hand off the page so Lanette could turn it. The last photo showed a classic photo of four skiers wending their way down a pristine, snowy slope.

_Heli-skiing with Rob Langevin._

"At last!" Alice said. "But you can't even tell which one he is, when they're all wearing sunglasses and snowsuits...except that he must be awfully fit."

"And smart enough to know about avalanches. You've got to have some pretty advanced knowledge to ski the high slopes." She sighed. "Oh well. It wasn't a big deal, anyway."

"It is a big deal," Alice insisted. "You want to meet this guy, and you don't know what he looks like, so you'll have to make some plans. Give him a call and invite him to dinner," she suggested. "I know you want to, so why are you hesitating?"

"I'm not sure, Alice. I'll have to think about it."

"You want me to call him for you?"

"No, that's juvenile. Just give me a while. The conference isn't for a week or so, yet."

"Well, in the meantime, I think I'll just put this nice photo of this athletic young man up on the bulletin board...to remind you." There was a twinkle in Alice's eye and she laughed when Lanette shot her a pained look.

Lanette was waiting on Jane's front step when the schoolteacher came home from school. "Emergency meeting."

"We're ordering pizza?" Jane asked as she opened the front door and set her heavy bags down.

"Nah, let's have Chinese."

"Ah," Jane nodded sagely. "We've got a _complicated_ problem. I guess you got some mail today."

"Indeed. Wanna see a picture of him?"

"He sent you a _picture?_

"Uh-uh-u-uh! Not until we order the food," Lanette teased.

"You're a brat."

"Yeah. I love you too."

Soon they were sitting in the fading sunlight at Jane's kitchen table. "So, this is his company, huh?"

"Well, he's just one of the guides."

"Oh. So he's not going to be the love of your life then."

"Well, we already knew that, Jane. He's not a cowboy if he's living out there...it wouldn't make a difference if he was the owner _or_ an employee, he still wouldn't be what I'm looking for."

"So why are you all het up about this guy?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just curious...I don't know! All I know is that I haven't been able to get him out of my mind since that first phone call."

"Hm. Well, let's see his picture."

Lanette looked sheepish as she fished the brochure out of her satchel. "Well, it's not really a very good picture..." She showed the brochure shot of the four skiers, one of whom was presumably Rob. "In fact, we can't even really be sure which one is him!" she wailed with a touch of theatrical, pathetic despair.

"Well, let's take a closer look," Jane soothed her in the calm voice she had developed over the years for hysterical teenagers.

"First of all, we'd expect him to be the one at the front, right?"

Lanette thought about it. "Yeah, I guess so. Or maybe he would be the one bringing up the back, to make sure everybody got down okay. But those four seem pretty close together."

"Hmmm." Jane peered at the photo. "Look, this skier has long hair flying behind, so it must be a woman!" Lanette followed her friend's finger.

"Oh...yeah...look, so does this one." Lanette felt excited. _Maybe I'll be able to figure out which one he is after all._

"Well, of the other two, one is much smaller than the other...probably a kid, or maybe a small woman." Jane was an artist and had a great eye for putting flat, two dimensional situations into perspective that Lanny could understand. "I'd say this big guy is at least six foot three or four."

"I didn't notice that before, Jane, but now that you mention it, this guy does seem a lot bigger than the others." She looked hopefully up at her friend. "Do you think that's him?"

"Probably. But where does that get you?"

Lanette sighed. "Not much further. If your calculations are right, which they probably are, at least I know now that he's really tall. Maybe that would be enough to recognize him at the convention."

"At a tourism convention? If there are going to be outdoors types there, there will probably be quite a few tall men...you might get distracted. You do like tall men," Jane teased.

"It's not my fault I sprouted to such a height," she grumbled. The doorbell rang. "Speaking of sprouting, that must be the Chinese food. I'll get it."

Jane gazed wistfully after her friend. Lanette was so outgoing, so sure of herself. Jane always thought that Lanette had never fully realized what she had. Oh, she'd always worked hard, but she'd been raised in the lap of privilege, too. Though not extremely wealthy in a monetary sense, Lanette's family had owned ranch land here since the area had first been settled. As a member of the major land-owning family in the area, Lanette had grown up feeling invincible and superior. She wasn't pretentious about it, just very sure of who she was, what she wanted, what she stood for.

_She's completely different from me ._ Jane had always known that, and loved her dearly anyway. _But what if she's an opposite to this guy, as well? She might be in for a big set-down if she discovers that this mountain guy doesn't live up to her standards...those incredibly narrow, high standards of hers. Even though she says she's just curious, I don't think I've ever seen her eyes sparkle that way...she really seems interested._

Jane smiled quickly to mask her thoughts when her friend came back with the steaming, aromatic Chinese food. "Ah, good, my broccoli fix. I'll just grab some plates and chopsticks."

The two girls tucked eagerly into their food, eating with the relaxed silence of an enduring relationship, until the edge was taken off their hunger. Finally, between bites of garlic-fried squid, Lanette said, "So, Alice thought I should just ask him to dinner, since we're both going to be at the conference next weekend. Maybe it's not such a bad idea. I may as well just be direct, instead of calling him up and beating around the bush...I have no talent for prevarication, anyway."

Jane smiled ruefully. "That's true enough. Sometimes I wish you were a little better liar...or at least a little gentler in your honesty."

Lanette shrugged her shoulders as she shoveled another chopstickful of suey choy into her mouth. "Yeah, so, what do you think? Should I ask him to dinner?"

"Well, what changed your mind? Earlier this week you were all set to just wait and see."

Lanette sighed. "The trip isn't for months yet. And he wrote me a note...said that he enjoyed talking to me and he hoped we'd meet...so I guess now I feel a little less silly about the direct approach."

"Fair enough," Jane said, wishing she had Lanette's indomitable courage. "So? Where are you going to ask him? What are you going to wear?"

Lanette looked frightened. "What? Oh...." she wailed. "I don't know. This is too difficult."

Jane looked at her, astonished. "Lanny? Is that you? Did you just admit to feeling uncertainty?"

Lanette took a deep breath. "No. No, I am fine. I'll work it out. Let's talk about something else."

"Lanette," Jane smirked, "I never thought I'd say this, but you just took the coward's way out!" Jane watched her friend, fascinated as her face turned pink. "And, you just blushed! Will wonders never cease? I've never seen you do that before. Something important must be happening."

"And I haven't even met him yet," Lanette groaned.

"Well I, for one, respect him already," Jane declared, "for being the first person ever to make you blush, to make you wonder if you're right."

"Oh, shut up, you'll give me indigestion," Lanette grumbled, and changed the subject.

On Friday, Lanette picked up the phone receiver a dozen times, phrasing the words in her mind that she would use to ask him to dinner. A dozen times she hung it up again before she dialled his number. Saturday and Sunday were miserable, as she was forced to face that the situation was exactly as Jane had called it—Lanny was a coward.

She spent more time than usual at the stables, in the contemplative tasks of cleaning and tidying and brushing down every single horse. She rode her own stallion for hours. She was relieved for the hours that she immersed herself in teaching riding lessons, but even that draining activity didn't keep her mind completely off of her anxiety. _Coward coward coward_ —the worst of taunts echoed in her mind. _What if I don't get to see him at the conference because I was too chicken to ask? Will I have four months of this agony of wondering to look forward to, before I see him again? Oh, it's awful!_

Lanette had never dealt with her own uncertainty or hesitation before. She guiltily thought of all the times she had mocked others for the same state she now found herself in. _How wrong I was! It is not always easy to do the right thing, the strong thing. Is this Fate's revenge on me for all those times I was insensitive to others? I have to admit, it's an effective punishment._

By the end of the weekend she felt wiser. _I'll never be insensitive when people are feeling low, again,_ she promised herself. _And I will call Rob on Monday._ Having made the decision, she slept a little better on Sunday night.

But Monday was a repeat of Friday, with her picking up and putting down the phone receiver, and Monday night was again sleepless.

"Hello?" Lanette answered the phone at 7:30 on Tuesday morning. It was earlier than she normally came in to work, but she had been too restless to lie around in bed any longer, anyway, with thoughts of Rob stirring around in her head.

"Lanette?" _Ohhhhh._

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello, Rob."

He chuckled and she felt her heart beating double, no, triple, time. "So, you recognize my voice?"

"How could I not?" she retorted, falling easily in with his teasing tone. "Say, were you a radio announcer in a previous life?"

"No...were you?"

"No." Lanette sounded startled.

"You could be. You've got such a sexy voice." _He thinks_ I _have got a sexy voice?_ Lanette felt herself blushing again and was glad she was alone in the office. "Anyway, I was just calling to see if you got my package with the papers and brochures, and if everything checked out all right."

"Yes, except..."

"What?"

"There's no place on the forms for eye and hair colour."

"Oh. Well. Er..." He cleared his throat. "I was just curious what kind of girl would match a voice like that."

"Really?"

"Really." There was a pause. "Listen...since we're both going to be in Calgary on the weekend, how do you feel about going to dinner?"

Her heart did a flippy little victory dance in her chest, and her voice was a little breathless when she answered. "I'd like that a lot."

"How about we meet in the lobby of the Palliser Hotel, at, say, seven o'clock?"

"How about six thirty?" Lanette was happy, and immediately bounced back to her usual cheeky, irrepressible self.

He laughed again and her heart captured the sound to treasure for the rest of the day. "It's a date."

_Yes, it's a date,_ she said quietly to herself, as she hung up the phone. She gave herself a little hug. _A date._

Lanette tapped her foot on the rich carpeting in the hotel lobby. She barely managed to stop her long, polished fingers from drumming. It had been a long time since she'd sat still and waited for anybody. It was driving her crazy, all this extra time to think. _Maybe I should have polished my nails. Maybe I shouldn't have worn this outfit. What if he thinks I'm too tall? What if he notices my crooked tooth? What if he's married and just meant this to be a friendly colleague meeting..._ the knots wound themselves tighter in her stomach.

She had hardly been able to keep her mind on the topics at the conference sessions she'd endured all day. Now, finally, she was to meet the man with the gorgeous voice, the man it seemed had occupied her every waking thought for the last two weeks, and she could barely sit still. _Rob._

She'd sat through six seminar hours today, and could barely remember what had been discussed. Somehow, her mind kept drifting off topic, wandering unerringly back to wondering what Rob would be like. Could he possibly be as he sounded? Would his hands be strong and warm? Would he be tall, as Jane had guessed?

I'd like him to be tall, taller than I am. Fair and tanned and outdoorsy, well, he must be since he's an adventure guide. I hope he walks with that slightly bowlegged horseman's walk...

Somehow she had made notes during the seminars. She hoped they would be clear enough to remind her later, when she reported to her boss, what the discussions had been about. Presently, sitting in this lovely hotel lobby, tapping her foot to stop herself from jumping out of the chair, she was having a hard time focusing on anything but her own nerves.

Her eyes swivelled as she surveyed the room's occupants, wondering if she would recognize Rob when he appeared. She was dimly aware of the opulence of the three-story lobby, of the wood panelling, chandeliers, and rich furnishings. But she was always more interested in the people in a situation, than the scenery. Even when she travelled to foreign countries, she was far more interested in meeting the locals than she was in viewing moldy ruins or gazing at much-photographed scenery.

She watched a large family group move across the floor towards the restaurant. Two young children clutched their granny's hand as they gazed, wide-eyed at their surroundings. A trio of well-dressed, elegantly coiffed women chattered like the schoolgirl friends they must have once been. People moved about leisurely, happily. Calgary was that kind of place, and Lanette usually enjoyed the trips she made here on business.

A man in a business suit marched briskly across the floor, breaking the patterns of peaceful drifting. She wondered if he was the man she was to meet, but hoped not. He had a sharp nose, slick hair, and was too short. _His hands look clammy, too,_ Lanette decided for good measure. _No, I am sure that's not Rob._

Her eyes drifted again, until she began to feel an odd heated prickling on her skin. Her gaze was drawn to its source...a tall, reddish-blonde man was leaning against the wall opposite, and studying her as curiously as she had studied the other occupants of the room.

_Rob._

When her eyes met his, Lanette rose from her chair automatically, and saw him straighten away from the wall at the same time. Their eye contact never broke as they moved together to the center of the room. They stopped just before colliding.

"Lanette?" At last she heard in person the warm deep voice that had haunted her dreams. Somehow she managed the formal little introduction rituals, saying "pleased to meet you, how do you do," and putting out her hand to shake his. But they both paused when their hands connected.

They stood in the center of the room, staring, hands still clasped, motionless. People continued to move around them, but neither noticed. Lanette savoured the warmth and strength that flowed from his hand to hers, the prickle of his calluses against her own. She realized that she had to tilt her head at quite an angle to look him in the eye, and was pleased. After her nocturnal torture of the past two weeks, she was only mildly surprised when she recognized an urge to kiss that wonderful full mouth that held the voice.

After an eternity, an instant, Rob blinked, shook his head as if to clear it. "Shall we?" he asked, and gallantly offered her his arm.

"Oh, yes," Lanette breathed, and slipped her hand through his elbow to walk beside him, as elegantly as her grandmother might have done fifty years ago in a ball gown in this same lobby.

_Grandma couldn't have been any happier than I am right now,_ Lanette mused as she floated along. Despite their casual clothing, she felt as if this was the most exotic, most longed-for evening of her entire life.

# Chapter Two

L _anette Scott is a looker, that's for sure. She didn't tell me that her brunette hair would be in a braid swinging down to her waist, or that her green eyes would have such a bright sparkle to them that I would be drawn to them from across the room..._ He was glad he'd offered her his arm. It was an old-fashioned impulse of the kind he wasn't usually prone to. Her hand felt small and womanly warm in the crook of his elbow, a fact which he treasured even more, in light of how capable and self-sufficient she'd looked, sitting alone, walking across the room. She didn't look like a woman who needed help from anybody.

_And I'm a man who has decided I don't need help either, or any romantic entanglements._ Then why did he, instinctively, react to her competence by wanting to be protect and be needed by her?

"So, Lanette Scott," he said, enjoying the crisp effect of her name in his mouth, "how do you feel about Thai food? Can I assume you're a well-travelled travel agent?"

She looked pleased and he felt that he'd made a good choice. "I love Thai food."

"That's good. I guess we can keep the reservation I made, then."

He enjoyed walking beside this tall woman, enjoyed the efficient, athletic way she moved. They had reached his truck in the parkade and he dug his keys out of his pocket. "Nice truck!" Lanette said, with something approaching hunger in her eyes.

"It gets me around," he agreed modestly. _Who are you kidding, buddy?_ he teased himself. _You love this truck._ It had become, to him, a symbol of his new life, of his new freedom. Now he listened to country music with no-one to tell him not to, drove around on remote mountain roads, had friends who loved the wilds as much as he did himself.

"Oh!" He thought there was a little note of disappointment in her voice as she spotted the logo he'd had painted on the side. "It's your company's truck?"

"Well, yes..."

"I guess they let you bring it to town since you're attending the conference for work purposes, right?"

"Something like that." _If she wants to believe that, why disillusion her? I'm not out to impress anybody, anymore._ "My VW van was out of commission," he told her. That much was true. Joe, one of his guides, was in the process of overhauling the engine as a thank-you gesture for borrowing it. Rob didn't mind sharing his things these days. He rejoiced in this way of life where he counted his friends as assets far more important than his possessions.

_The better you treat your employees, the more and better they'll work for you._ The words echoed through his head, a remnant of his old life, a phrase he had told countless clients while helping them overhaul their companies and fix their problems. But his relationships with his employees now were more like that of friends than employer–employee.

"You've got one of those VW vans? That is so cool. Has it got a sunflower paint job?"

_Is she being sarcastic?_ It didn't sound like it. Maybe a miracle had occurred and he had discovered a woman who really didn't care what he owned. "No, just the original factory orange, embellished with rust spots."

She laughed delightedly as she hopped up into the passenger seat. He closed the door behind her and felt his own mood lift as he walked around to the driver's side. Maybe this date would turn out just fine, after all.

Lanette's marvellous green eyes were sparkling with happiness as Rob positioned himself behind the wheel. He glanced at her and found himself too engrossed in her expression to go about the business of starting the vehicle. She was fascinating, all lit up, telling stories. "My cousins had one of those VW vans...we sure had some fun camping in it when we were kids."

_Is it too soon to kiss her?_ he wondered, contemplating her smiling red lips, natural and free of lipstick.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

_She must think I'm some kind of weirdo, sitting here staring at her._ He shook his head. "Yeah, fine. Sorry about that." He switched the key to on and waited for the glow plugs to warm the diesel engine. He was horrified to notice that his hand was shaking as he started the engine.

"Yeah, we sure did love that VW van," Lanette was chattering on, and he was glad that she was filling the gap while he tried to sort out his thoughts. "One day my cousin's friend brought his van over and the five of us younger cousins, who weren't old enough to be on the back porch drinking beer with the others, dug up some paint from the barn and painted both vans up. The only paint we could find was red and white, so we decided to try doing the Canadian flag. That didn't turn out so well, so we ended up making hand prints all over it...what a mess!"

Rob had never had any cousins of his own. He was an only child who had never met his father. His mother had also been an only child. His feelings were mixed as he heard Lanette's story...the forgotten child in him was envious, because she was talking about things he had always wanted but had never known. But the man in him was wildly attracted to her vitality, to the pulsating energy she gave off as she rhapsodized.

_Do regular guys analyze their feelings this way?_ Rob wondered, not for the first time. During the messy breakup of his marriage, he had become more aware of his emotions, and his thoughts about himself, than ever before, and he had picked up the counsellor's habit of looking at the causes of each of his emotions. At times he found it annoying to be so thoroughly aware of himself, but at other times he was grateful to feel his new-found happiness and freedom so deeply, and to be able to control and analyze his feelings and reactions when things weren't going right.

He pulled his shiny blue truck into the restaurant's parking lot, and hopped out to go around to Lanette's side to open her door for her. It might not have been his normal habit, but something about her made him feel like playing the gentleman.

Lanette was pleasantly surprised when Rob bounded around the truck to open her door for her. "Thank you, Rob. Old-fashioned gentlemen are few and far between these days."

"Is that so?" he asked, as he offered his arm again. Lanette took it gladly, rediscovering what her grandmother's generation must have reveled in—this supposedly polite way of walking with one's hand in the crook of a man's arm provided a marvellous opportunity to feel the strength in their bicep muscle!

"In my experience, anyway."

"I find that surprising," she heard his deep voice rumble. "I would have thought the guys would be lining up to treat a lady like you properly."

"You think I'm a lady, even in my jeans?"

"How can I not?" he countered. "You move like a dream. It's not a hard stretch to imagine you in silks and satins."

_Like a wedding dress?_ The thought popped into her mind, and she almost gasped aloud. _Whoa. Men like this one are for fun._ Lanette adored men, and had had more than her fair share of male company over the years, but she had vowed never to fall in love until she found a rancher, someone from her own world. _I could never love someone who would take me away from the land,_ she reminded herself. _It wouldn't last._

They entered the restaurant together, and she looked around with interest. Light-coloured tablecloths and walls gave the room an airy, light ambiance, even in the fading evening light. "I imagined a Thai restaurant would be a riot of colour rather than peaceful and elegant like this," she remarked.

"You haven't been to Thailand before?" he asked her, raising his eyebrows. "I thought you travel agents travelled everywhere."

She laughed. "It's true I have been plenty of places, but I haven't yet made it to Thailand. It doesn't stop me from enjoying the food, though. Don't you love globalized economies?"

"Sure do. Hi there, Mel," he said to the man that had approached them.

"Hey, Rob, good to see you. Will it just be the two of you?" he asked.

"Yes, Mel, none of the rest of the crew with me tonight."

"Okay. Special table for two, coming up," proclaimed the owner, and winked at Rob. He led them to the back corner, to a table that was nicely secluded from the others. Normally Lanette liked to be at a front window table, up where the action was. _Somehow, I don't think I will be bored this evening,_ she told herself with a grin. _This is definitely the dishiest guy I have been out with in quite a while._

"So I guess you've been here before?"

"Yes, most of the mountain equipment stores are close to here, so the guys and I have had lunch here a few times when we've had to come in for supplies. I met the owner when he came on a trip I was guiding a couple of years ago."

"You must meet a lot of people that way."

"I suppose I do. I quite like it."

"It's a pretty nice life when you get to spend all day in the outdoors," she said wistfully. "I'd like to, but my brother and my parents don't need my help on the ranch, so I have had to find myself another day job."

"Don't you like what you do?" he asked. "You don't strike me as the kind of woman to get caught in a rut."

"Yes, sure," she amended. "I do like my job, enjoy helping people to create really interesting vacations. And I have loved the travelling I have done. It's just that...I guess, as I am getting older, I am loving the land, here, more and more. I've been to so many foreign places that it's beginning to wear on me. You rarely get out and really get with local people on a short holiday...it seems like it is more about seeing tourist attractions and culture."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Rob insisted.

"No...Oh, I guess I can't explain it. I just...want something deeper, something more. My ancestors settled this land, and that was meaningful. My family is involved in producing food for the country, and that's meaningful. I guess I am starting to feel that my work, sitting at a computer all day, just isn't _essential_ enough." She looked up at him, from the menu she'd been staring blankly at. "Do you know what I mean? I want to be closer to the animals and the land and the meaning of life."

"I know exactly what you mean. In fact—"

Mel arrived at that moment, choosing to wait on them, himself. "Have you decided on what you'd like to have?" he asked.

Lanette realized with a jolt that she'd barely glanced at the menu. She looked helplessly at Rob.

"How do you feel about having Mel order for us?" Rob asked. "He usually does a pretty good job."

Lanette clung to the suggestion with relief. "That sounds like a great idea."

"All right," Mel said easily. "Would you like it as spicy as usual?"

Rob looked consideringly at Lanette. "From what I have seen so far, I think this is a lady who likes a little adventure." Lanette's heart thudded heavily in her breast. "Am I right?"

"Yes," she replied breathlessly, forgetting what the question was.

"Fair enough," Mel said. "Spicy it is. Would you like anything to drink?"

"White wine?" Rob asked, and Lanette nodded. "Have you got a chardonnay handy?" he asked Mel.

"Sure thing." Lanette felt both relieved and panicked when the other man left the table. _This is not a normal date at all,_ she thought. _What's happening to me?_

"Excuse me," she said abruptly, and took herself off to the ladies' room. "I'd like to wash up before dinner."

Inside the elegantly appointed restroom, she splashed water on her flushed face, and pressed her hands against the cool marble sink. She stared at herself, wide-eyed, in the mirror. Her face looked slightly feverish. _Maybe I'm coming down with a flu,_ she thought reassuringly. At least that was some kind of explanation for this odd shortness of breath and these sweaty hands. She took a few more moments to wash her hands properly with the delicately coconut-scented soap, and sat down to press a wet paper towel to her forehead. Soon, she felt that her temperature had returned to normal, and her heart had slowed down. _I just hope I don't collapse with a fever before the night is over. I'm really enjoying Rob's company._

When she returned, he picked up the wine bottle that had arrived and poured some in her glass. "Does it suit your taste, milady?"

Lanette took a dainty sip. "Indeed it does, sir."

"Then pass your glass so I may fill it, the better to nourish your beauty."

She giggled. "Enough, already."

He smiled at her, his blue eyes warm and friendly. "I just wanted to see you smile again. You were looking a bit worried there."

"Oh." In Lanette's family, illness and injury were never admitted except in the most dire circumstances. _"The settlers would never have gotten anywhere if they had been whiners,"_ her brother had constantly reminded her when she was a small girl and had hurt herself. It hadn't taken her long to develop a determined sense of pride and a resolution not to show pain or illness. "It was nothing."

"That's good." He took a drink from his wine glass and she stared at the corded lines of his neck as he swallowed. He put his glass down and she quickly averted her eyes.

He picked up her hand where it lay on the table.

"What lovely hands you have," he stated simply. He traced the rims of each fingernail with his own fingertip. "Short, unpolished nails...so much nicer than those fashionable, blood-coloured, impeccably manicured claws." _Like my ex-wife's,_ he thought. _I always thought she was such a nice girl...but I should have had a hint of her capacity for cruelty, by measuring those claws of hers._

She was fascinated, speechless, holding her breath for the next movement of that point of electricity that was his fingertip.

Lanette's hands, by contrast, now they belonged to a lady who didn't need to hurt anyone else to get what she wanted. She could forge her own way. He turned her hand over and irresistibly traced the lines of her palm, coming to rest on the precious, hard-won calluses at the base of her fingers.

"Are you reading my palm?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, and dropped his already deep voice even lower, setting up a furious new vibration in Lanette's blood.

"I can see that you're a hard worker." She felt self-conscious for a moment, then defiant. _I am proud of those calluses,_ she thought. _They represent all I am capable of—taming a horse, throwing a hay bale, fixing a fence._

She laughed, and the sound came out reedy, to her own ears, with the nervousness that had begun fluttering in her belly when he took her hands.

"I guess that's obvious...what else?"

"A beautiful, square palm..." He looked up into her eyes, and his breath caught at the open green fire. "I would like to believe you're honest."

She expelled her breath in a rush. "Too honest, so the story goes. People keep telling me to keep my opinions to myself." She tried to laugh carelessly, but all she managed was a breathy sort of giggle.

He put her hand down, realizing that he had better back off. The heat was getting too intense between them. "Well, I haven't heard any of your opinions yet, so feel free to be as honest as you like," he invited.

Their appetizer arrived, and she turned her attention towards it. Her delectable white teeth were exposed as she bit into the spicy little package of vegetables and chicken. Her lips closed and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her chewing motions.

"Mmmm. This is good," she said, then her eyes lit up as the spices started to work. "Aiyah! But hot!" She reached for her wine. _Maybe I should suggest the water to her,_ he thought. _Nah._ The next time Mel passed by the table, he asked for another bottle of wine.

Somehow he'd made it through the meal, watched her chew each bite, smile, gesture with those capable little hands, and hadn't seized her face to cover it in kisses. Now the meal was over, and he looked forward to a chance for getting closer to her.

"How about some dancing?" he asked.

She regarded him somewhat suspiciously, and, he thought guiltily, through a little bit of a wine haze. "What kind of dancing? I don't do that new-fangled shaky aroundy stuff."

"Why, two-stepping, of course. What else would I expect of a cowgirl?" he asked.

"Okay. I like country dancing," she replied, as happily as a child.

_I guess I'd better sober her up a little, or she's going to have a headache tomorrow,_ he thought. He offered her his arm again, and enjoyed the slightly tipsy way she leaned against him. As her breast brushed against his arm, he thought, _of course, there are definite advantages to having her intoxicated._

He handed her gently into the truck, and was delighted to discover, when he went to get into the driver's side, that she had scooted closer. "Do you mind if I sit in the middle seat?" she asked him.

He chuckled. "Not one bit, darlin'."

"Good." She sounded smug and pleased with herself.

He suppressed a groan as she snuggled next to him, but couldn't help but agree with her. "Very good."

"Any favourite place?" he asked her.

"No, you choose," she ordered him trustingly.

_Oh, great. I might have recently learned to dance as they do out here, but I have never been to one of the country bars in Calgary._ He had an inspiration. "Is it all right if we stop for fuel on the way?"

"Of course."

He pulled into the first station they came to, topped up the already half-full tank, and went in to pay. "Do you happen to know any good country bars?" he asked the cashier. Much to his relief, she did, and gave him clear directions on how to get there.

Back in the driver's seat, Lanette decided to put her hand on his leg, and he groaned. _I'm as bad as a teenage boy,_ he thought to himself as he felt his body very definitely reacting to her. He took a deep breath. _Control._ Another breath. _Control._ He'd never taken advantage of an intoxicated woman, yet, and he wasn't going to form the habit tonight, tempting as she was. He focussed on his driving.

"Rob?" came the sweet voice from beside him. "Are you paying attention to me?"

"Yes, darlin'."

"Maybe we should just go back to the hotel."

"Why?" he looked sharply over at her. "Are you feeling sick? Or tired?"

"Nooo." She looked embarrassed. "Never mind."

_She's thinking along the same lines as me,_ he realized, and his body ached even more. _Lord help us._

"Okay," he replied, deciding, for both their sakes, to pretend he hadn't understood her intentions. "Dancing it is then."

Even drunk, Lanette was a marvellous dancer. No sooner were they in the door, than she had dragged him off to the dance floor, where jean-clad couples were moving quickly to an upbeat country band.

_Here we go,_ he thought. He had only learned to country dance two years ago, when he'd moved to Alberta, and he hadn't had much practice. He was thankful that he'd made an effort to attend each lesson in the course he'd signed up for, and that he had a natural athletic talent that allowed him to do most physical activities he'd tackled, very well in a short period of time. Lanette was clearly in the expert class.

He had never quite been in sync with any of the women he'd danced with in classes or socially, and had wondered if it was his own bad leading skills or just a matter of individual differences. He quickly discovered that Lanette seemed to feel the rhythm of the music so vitally that she pulsed with it, and from the first step they moved naturally, wonderfully together, like a well-oiled machine.

Those beautiful red lips smiled and her eyes sparkled with green fire, and he couldn't think of anything he would rather do in the world. They danced without speaking through three more fast songs. _It's a lucky thing I'm in shape, because I don't think she has any plans of stopping. And to think I asked her if she could handle a little walk in the mountains! This is the best workout I've had all week._

The band played a slow song, proclaiming it to be the last one before taking a break, and Rob relished the chance to hold this feisty whirlwind closer. "You're a fabulous dancer," he breathed in her ear.

"Thank you. So are you," she responded.

"You really think so?" he asked, surprised.

"Mmm-hmmm," she said, with her face against him, and the sound vibrated up through his shoulder, making him shiver. He was reminded of his earlier arousal and fought the feeling.

The song ended at last, and the band announced their break. "Would you like a drink?" he asked her.

"Uh-huh," she said, her eyes sultry, as if she, too, had been thinking sexual thoughts during that slow dance.

"What would you like?" he asked. When she looked at him that way, he felt stupid and incapable of thought.

"Waa-ter," she said. "A pitcher of it, if you can get it."

"Water it is." They made their way to a small empty space at one of the stand-up tables, and he dropped a kiss on her forehead before he departed to fetch the refreshment.

She had found a stool somewhere and was sitting on it, fiddling with her braid, when he returned. "My hair's a mess now," she complained good-naturedly.

"I can certainly help you with that. Would you like some water?" he asked, holding an icy glass up enticingly.

"Oh, yes, please." He watched her drink, and couldn't help noticing that with her arm raised, her breasts were outlined against her top. He hastily deflected his gaze to her face, but was just as aroused by the sight of a water droplet that had dripped onto her chin. With a groan he gave in, and, very gently, leaned forward to lick it dry. Her skin tasted deliciously of salt and of something indefinably sweet. He forced himself to lean back again, even when she moved closer. _That sweet taste will definitely require some more in-depth exploration,_ he decided.

"Let's do something about that hair of yours," he said, and took her waist-long braid in his big hands. She was watching him, trustingly, and didn't protest. Her gaze on his face was more than he could handle and he moved around behind her. He leaned down, to say quietly in her ear, "since the braid is getting untidy, how about we just undo it?"

"Okay," she sighed.

Reverently, as he had been longing to do all night, he removed the elastic at the bottom and unravelled the long strands. He heard her make a small purring sound, and fought not to embrace her. Reaching the top, he finished unravelling, and gave his attention over to combing his fingers through the luxurious mass. He massaged her scalp a tiny bit, and when he heard her purr more, he moved his hands to her shoulders, delighting in the fit muscularity he found, in the contented sounds she made as he squeezed and massaged there.

Suddenly feeling thirsty, himself, he moved back beside her to pour a glass of water from the pitcher. He felt her eyes on him as he tipped his head to drink. He finished the glass and looked at her face, at the sultry, sleepy look in her eyes. He looked away, across the dance floor. _We. Are. In. Public._ he lectured himself forcibly. _She. Is. Not. Sober._ He looked back at her face. Lingered. And forced himself to look away again. "Excuse me for a moment, please."

In the men's room, he gasped as he splashed cold water on his face. "Woman trouble, eh buddy?" the guy beside him asked.

"Not exactly trouble..."

"These cowgirls sure are sexy when they get all fired up, aren't they?"

"You can say that again."

"Well, good luck, eh? You know what they say, dancing is just a vertical expression of a horizontal emotion. If she's dancing well..." the man's voice trailed off into a chuckle as he left Rob alone.

He groaned again. _Am I going to survive this night?_ he wondered. _Damn my high principles, anyway. Where have they ever got me? They didn't matter to Lucinda when she decided she'd like another lover._ But he knew he couldn't live with himself if he did something he didn't think was right. And making love to a drunk Lanette Scott would not be the right thing to do. _Apart from that, she probably wouldn't want to talk to me in the morning, if I took advantage of her tonight._ And, surprisingly, he did want to see her again. Since his ex-wife's betrayal, he had not been romantically interested in women, just content to look upon them as friends or clients.

When he returned to the table, Lanette was watching the dance floor with interest. "Are you up for some more dancing?" he asked her, even though the music was just canned, and the band wouldn't be back for ten minutes yet.

"Always," she said. They finished draining the pitcher of water, and he led her back to the floor.

The time flew by as they danced until the band returned, and stayed on the floor for another complete set. Rob was grateful for the concentration that was required to lead Lanette through the complicated moves of the fast dances. It kept his mind off of his body's increasingly louder cries for hers. When slow dances were played, he revelled in the close softness of her body, in the smooth, coordinated way she seemed to know even as he did which way he would lead, so that rather than one dancer leading and another following, it seemed that they moved together.

Her hair, hanging loose to her waist now, swirled all around her as he turned her.

When the band broke for a second time, Lanette said, "Take me home, now, Rob," and his heart leapt.

"Sure. Getting tired?" he asked, sounding as normal as possible.

She looked him straight in the eye. "No."

He looked away and took a deep breath. _Breathe. In. Breathe. Out._

"Are you staying at the same hotel we had the conference in?" he asked.

"Yes," she was watching his face steadily, clearly, waiting for his reaction, and his knees trembled with the thought that she definitely wasn't intoxicated now, and at the determination he sensed. He led her back to the truck, in the same gentlemanly way he had used all night, and was very aware of the deliberate, teasing way she caressed his bicep as they walked.

"Stop that!"

"What?" she looked at him with wide-eyed innocence.

He growled. "You know very well, what." He opened the passenger door. "Now get in," he ordered, half playfully, half with the frustration his body was driving him to.

"Yes, sir," she said meekly. He cursed lightly as he strolled round the truck to the driver's side.

Before he had a chance to close the driver's door after himself, he was being kissed. Expertly. Teasingly. Deliciously. He forgot everything as his world narrowed to that one spot where their lips met. His hands came up and buried themselves in her masses of hair, molding her head, and he took control of the kiss, nibbling on her lips, learning the shape of her mouth with a need that would not be denied.

"Hey! Get a room!" Hoots and hollers came from the parking lot and Rob was mortified to realize the driver side door was still wide open. He pulled himself away from those sweet lips, and shakily closed it. He collapsed on the steering wheel, resisting when Lanette kissed him again.

"Are you drunk?" he demanded.

"Not anymore," she assured him, in a clear, though slightly shaky, voice.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"Maybe a little," she teased, and smiled. "Am I making you as crazy as I feel?"

"At least ten times that, and then some," he complained.

"I'm glad," she said softly. "Let's go back to the hotel, Rob."

He looked at her, at her beautiful green eyes, at the gorgeous masses of hair that he had mussed around her face, and at her lips, her kissed, swollen lips. His voice was strained. "Do you think you could sit in the passenger seat?" Obediently, she scooted over.

He sighed. "Thank you." He turned to face the wheel, about to put the key in the ignition, but decided against it. "Just a minute." He got out into the cool night air and walked around the truck. He leaned against the tailgate and was tempted to pray for help, something he hadn't done in years. _What the heck? I_ am _going to need an angel's help to drive us home right now._ He said a little prayer anyway, gazing up at the inky black sky, and felt better for it. He filled his lungs refreshingly and went back to the driver's seat.

"Would you like me to drive?" Lanette asked, looking at him with concern.

He didn't dare look at her. "No, thank you. I'm not drunk...just too aroused."

"Oh." It didn't sound like she understood. Well, neither did he.

He breathed a deep sigh of relief as he pulled the truck into the parkade of the hotel. The drive hadn't been that difficult, after all. He had managed to focus on the driving by not looking at all at Lanette, and by turning the radio up loud. Soon the Zen-like pleasure of driving his diesel-engine truck soothed his mind, if not his body. Lanette had sat quietly on the passenger side, not disturbing his concentration as he navigated the roads and sung along to the country music on the radio.

He turned off the engine and finally allowed himself to turn and look at Lanette. _Uh oh._ She did _not_ look happy. _In fact, she looks like she has been boiling for fifteen minutes now...and she's about to blow._ He cringed inside, trying to brace himself for the onslaught.

"Oh, so I deserve your attention now?"

"Oh, Lanette, honey," he groaned.

"Don't you _honey_ me. What kind of a guy are you that you act so fun and then you turn off like ice at the slightest whim? I kiss you and suddenly you ignore me. How desperate do you think I am, that I'd allow myself to be treated like that?"

"It wasn't that I stopped wanting you, Lanette..."

"What was it, then? My kisses aren't good enough for you? You're already married? What?"

He paused at that. _Already married? I haven't told her, yet._ "I'm not married."

"Oh, you're just too good for me. Fine." She opened the truck door. "Thanks for a great evening, Rob. It's too bad I don't measure up."

Rob jumped out of his side of the truck. "Lanette, wait!" She didn't turn around, just kept up her swift walk towards the hotel. "Dammit!" He locked his truck and raced after her, but by the time he made it to the elevator bay, the doors had already closed behind her, taking her to some unknown floor, some unknown room. "It's not going to end this way, girl," he grimly promised.

Long, angry strides carried him up the stairs to the main lobby. He approached the front desk, and suddenly realized that no desk clerk in their right mind would give a man as angry as he was, right now, the room number to a lady's room. _Dammit. Think, man, think._

With an effort he swallowed his temper. "Good evening. I'm Rob Langevin, staying in Room 402. Listen, I was invited to one of these conference get-togethers with my colleagues, and I've misplaced the room number. I realize you probably can't give it to me, but is there any way to put me in contact with the conference organizer so that I could ask him? I realize it's rather late in the evening but I thought he might be also at one of the get-togethers?" He looked earnestly at the young desk clerk, hoping he would swallow his line.

The acne-faced young clerk looked impressed. "Actually, Mr. Langevin, you're in luck. The conference organizer asked us to take over that duty for him this evening, so as long as I can identify you on this list, I'll be able to tell you the room number you're looking for...have you got any identification on you?"

"Yes, of course." Rob quickly pulled out his driver's license for the clerk's perusal, and was relieved when he accepted it and looked up Lanette's room number for him.

Rob couldn't believe his luck. _Somebody up there must be helping me out, here._

_Yeah, but now comes the hard part...soothing one lady's very ruffled feathers!_ he thought. But then he thought of the rewards if he succeeded, and felt himself grow hard again.

While he was waiting for and then riding the elevator to the third floor, he tried to think of strategies of getting Lanette to open her door to him. _Somehow, I just don't think that announcing myself is going to work._

He walked down the hall to room 306 and knocked. "Room service!" he called out, and then stood outside the view of the door's eyepiece. He shrugged. _It works in the movies._

Lanette opened the door. "I'm sorry, I didn't order...you!" she tried to close the door again, but he was too quick for her. He was in the door and holding her struggling form in his arms before she could react.

"You _are_ a country girl, aren't you? Didn't even check through the eyepiece before opening your door in the middle of the night."

"Let me go!"

"I won't! That's what got me in trouble, last time."

"Well, there won't be a next time!" she shouted at him, and he looked down into her eyes and realized she'd been crying. A lot. Tears streaked down her cheeks and still shimmered in the eyes that were trying to spark defiantly at him.

"Oh, Lanette," he groaned, "I think I love you." He heard her gasp, and leaned down to capture her open mouth with his own, finally allowing himself to drink his fill of her wonderful sweetness.

He broke the kiss for a moment to reach down behind her knees to scoop her up in his arms, and carried her to the bed. Gently, he set her down and stretched beside her.

"I wasn't ignoring you, Lanette. Your kisses aren't bad. They're good. So good! You've got me so turned on...you're worse than wine, honey, I had to drive..." as he talked, he was kissing her cheeks, her forehead, her nose, and smoothing her long hair back from her face.

"Oh. Oh, Rob."

"Are you sober now, darlin'?"

"Yes, Rob."

"Because there's nothing I'd rather do than make love to you."

"Oh, yes. Oh, please, yes."

He allowed himself to reclaim her lips until they were both again delirious with desire. "Oh, God, Lanette, I could kiss you forever," he whispered, and begin to undo the buttons of her intricately patterned cowgirl shirt. He shivered with pleasure as he felt her strong, sure hands undoing his own buttons, and they were soon both shrugging out of their shirts, impatient, hungry.

He couldn't resist kissing her breasts, still in their lacy bra. He made it wet with his sucking, caressing the other one with his hand, and finally, lifting her to get rid of the bra altogether. He continued to love her breasts as his hands made her way to her jeans and rather efficiently freed the buckle, button, and zipper he found there. Reluctantly, he released her to stand beside the bed and finish undressing her. He paused then, and just stared at her, naked, lovely, fit, with her hair all around her. "Lanette!"

"You, too, Rob."

"Yes." Swiftly he undressed and laid back down beside her. He was suddenly still. "Oh, God, Lanette, I'm trembling. Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure," was her reply, and she surprised him by moving to lie on top of him.

"You're sure you're not married, now?"

"Yes! Aargh. Don't torture me any more, honey."

"No, Rob, not any more." She leaned down to kiss him deeply and his hands caressed her back, her bottom, her breasts. When his hands moved more purposely to her hips, she asked, "Now, Rob?"

"Yes, please! Nowwww." He felt his breath arrested as her warm womanhood began to enclose him, and then expelled it in a breath as he realized he was being stopped. His eyes flew open. "Lanette, you're a..."

"Not anymore," she said, and finished her descent into pleasure.

# Chapter Three

Lanette woke up with an enormous sense of peace and well-being. The merry childhood tune that her mother had always woken her with chimed through her head. _Wake up, be happy, the sun is shining, the birds are singing...!_

For a few minutes she didn't even open her eyes. She just lay there, where she was, and felt the warm, wonderful skin of her lover next to her. She envisioned how their bodies would look, twined together so intimately. She was on her back, as she always slept, but her leg was on top of his. He was curled around her. His strong bicep pillowed her head and his other arm lay across her stomach. One leg was under hers, and the other over. She had never felt so comforted, protected, cherished.

She had thought to take control last night, that by taking the top position she would lead him to pleasure. Instead, she had found herself beside him in the vortex of a storm she could not have understood before she experienced it. She had been completely unprepared for the fury of the passion that had erupted in herself, but he had been there, always, beside her, and when the storm had finally ended, he had comforted her, and cherished her. It seemed they had lain together, wide-eyed, staring at each other, for ages, and then he had devoured her, worshipped all of her body and heart with his hands and his mouth, until, eventually, she needed the release of going through the storm again. He could have led her. But instead, he had come with her, beside her, equal. Equally on fire with passion, equally wowed by the thunder. She had never been so—one—with another person. Finally, exhausted, they had slept, entwined, as they were now.

_So that was what I've been missing all this time,_ she mused. But a small Mona Lisa smile formed on her lips. No. She knew that it wouldn't have been like this with any man she had known before Rob. They had some kind of connection...

Slowly, reluctant to let go of the night, she opened her eyes. She turned her head, ever so slightly, and found his face preciously close. Her eager gaze roamed over his forehead, his fair brows, the lashes that swept over those windows to his soul. And then his eyes opened, and that beautiful, giving mouth smiled. _This is the pinnacle of happiness,_ she thought.

"Hello, beautiful."

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Is this the first day of the rest of our lives?"

"I don't know," she whispered, shocked. "I didn't think, I don't know. Is it?"

"If you'll marry me, it could be."

"What?"

"Marry me, my love. Come live with me and be my bride and bear my children..."

"You...you have to ask my father first."

"Pardon me?"

"My father..." Lanette was beginning to panic. "You're...you're not supposed to ask a girl that question until after you've spoken with her father..."

"You mean you still believe in that old-fashioned custom?" Rob seemed puzzled, and curious. _It's as if he's looking at an odd exhibit in a museum,_ Lanette thought resentfully.

"Yes! Oh yes. What have I done?" she wailed. "I don't even know you. The man I marry will believe in that _old-fashioned_ custom, too. You don't even know who I am!"

"But I know how I feel." Rob was stubborn. "Don't discredit my feelings...I'm old enough to know what I'm talking about...and been through enough, too." He was sitting up now, and so was she. He looked her in the eye. "I love you, Lanette. More than I've ever loved a woman. I don't care what you say, it is not going to fade. Knowing a few details and particulars won't change how I feel."

"It's not right!" Lanette, who was so used to her ordered world, a world she reigned over, she controlled, felt everything slipping out of place. _Somewhere in that storm last night, all of reality shifted._ She tried to explain herself to Rob. "The whole point of the tradition of talking to my father is that in the natural order of things, you should definitely at least know my family before we even dream of getting married. Oh!" she held her head, which seemed to be whirling out of control. "How can this be happening?"

"The natural order of things?" Rob asked ominously. "Are you trying to say that what has happened between us is unnatural? Damnit, Lanette, to me, it has been the most beautiful, the most natural thing in my life." He stared deeply at her, then looked away. He looked back. "Ever!" he said fiercely.

"Oh, Rob," Lanette was sobbing openly now, "I don't know! I don't understand any of this! This has all just happened so fast."

Rob got up abruptly and went into the bathroom. He shut the door, and Lanette was suddenly, shockingly, alone.

_What's happening to me?_ She laid back down on her stomach and buried her head in the pillow. Tears poured from her eyes, maddening, uncomprehending tears. _Nothing makes any sense any more..._

She heard Rob come out of the bathroom, but she didn't turn over. _I don't know what to say, what to do..._

But she didn't need to. Rob came to her, turned her to face him, held her, quieted her. "Ssshh, sshh," he murmured. "Oh, love, look at us. I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry..." Her tears flowed even faster and he kissed them away. "Oh, Lanette...what have I done? Don't cry, please don't cry."

"I can't...help it."

"I'm such a boor. I'm sorry, Lanette. Forgive me." He laughed a harsh laugh. "Forgive me for what? Loving you too fast? Knowing too soon?" Still she cried and he sighed. He held her close and stroked her back. "Don't worry, Lanette, I'll give you time...all the time you need. Just please, baby, don't push me away. Sshhh..." It seemed he ran out of words and he just held her, then, stroking her hair, until the tears ran out.

_Such a helpless female!_ Lanette mocked herself, and was ashamed. "I'm sorry, Rob." She tried to sound tough, composed, but the words came out sounding choked, emotional, teary. "I don't know what has gotten into me." _You. You've gotten into me, and I don't know if I can take it. How, how do I get you out? And do I want to?_

"Maybe...maybe if you were to just let me have some time alone, collect my thoughts, have a shower maybe..."

"Oh, no, my darling. You'll not be showering alone," that rumbling voice promised, and she shivered with the intensity of his certainty. "There is only so far I will leave you alone."

"But..." She got no farther, for he kissed her, deeply, distractingly, until she forgot her objections. The fire began to build again, and before she understood what was happening, she had fallen into the inescapable storm of her emotions, the unfamiliar passion that he'd found in her and that would not relinquish control once it had taken her over...

Later, as he had promised, they showered together, and she was awed by the treasured way he held her, washed her. Instead of the storm, she felt again that deep, deep peace of contentment, of knowing, unquestioningly, that he loved her, that she was important to him. She had never been so thoroughly adored in her life. Slowly, lingeringly, he soaped every part of her, cuddling her back to his chest as he washed her stomach, her breasts, and then turning her to press her chest against his as he massagingly, caressingly, cleaned her back. She could not help the moans of contentment, the purrs of repletion that escaped her. Each buttock and strong leg was lathered, sculpted, and lovingly stroked. Her breath caught at the astonishing sensation of his strong fingers on the backs of her knees, and on the delicate insteps of her feet.

"For a tall woman, you have surprisingly small feet," he said, looking up at her. They were the first words he'd uttered since beginning his washing worship of her, and she felt inordinately pleased that he would notice such a trifling detail. Holding helplessly, bonelessly, to his shoulders as he crouched to wash her lower limbs, she made no reply, but surely he read her bewildered emotions in her eyes.

He rose lithely and embraced her in an ultimately comforting hug, his hands still sliding over the sculpted shapes of her back. "You're a very strong woman."

She shrugged. "Work does that. I'm a ranch girl and a horsewoman. We're all this way."

"I'm sure that can't be true," he chuckled. " _I've_ never met a woman like you, that is for sure." He turned off the water and welcomed her with the fluffy hotel towel. He began to dry her in the same slow, meticulous, contemplative way that he'd washed her. "You're as close to perfect as I have ever seen," he said reverently.

Lanette felt dreamy, trancelike. _What could I have been so worried about before?_ she wondered. _This man is so beautiful, so kind._

"I didn't wash you," she protested.

"Next time, you will," he said. "Would you dry me instead?"

She reached for a towel and began to learn again the shapes of his well-muscled body. _Last night was too brief, it was not enough,_ she thought. _It would take me a lifetime to know this body, this wonderful package that contains the man I love._

_Love? Lifetime? But he's not a rancher. This isn't what I planned._ Lanette felt the panic, the out-of-control feelings returning, and fought to contain them. She finished towelling him more efficiently than she had started, and he looked at her questioningly, sensing her change of mood.

He sighed. "You're getting scared again, aren't you? It's all going too fast." She nodded mutely, concentrating on drying the ridges of his stomach muscles, the curve of his hip. He curved a finger beneath her chin, tilting her face up to his. "Look, we'll take it slow, okay? Just don't back away from me...we have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere." She looked at him, wide-eyed, still afraid, though he didn't understand all her reasons, all her plans.

"I'll come, meet your family, we'll get to know one another...okay? We'll take it slow, as slow as you need to."

She nodded, although she wasn't positive. _Maybe I should just stop this before it goes any further,_ she thought, but, uncharacteristically, she was afraid to do even that, unsure of any action she might take.

A thought crossed her mind and she looked at her watch. "Oh, my gosh! I've got to get dressed...I am supposed to be at the breakfast seminar!"

Rob gaped at her. "How can you think about work at a time like this? Forget the conference. I want to spend the day with you."

"How can you be so cavalier about your job?" she demanded. "Some of us are _professionals_. What happened to all your grand talk about having all the time in the world, about not rushing me?"

He expelled a breath. "You're right. Of course. Go. But I will see you later?" he asked.

"Yes, of course," Lanette said, her head down, sorting through her clothes.

"Okay, I'll just get dressed and go," he muttered, and matched his words with action. In two minutes he was as decent as he had been when she had met him the night before.

"Lanette," he commanded.

She looked up. "What?"

He strode across the room and curled his finger beneath her chin in a way she already loved. He looked at her directly, seriously. "I love you." he kissed her, sweetly, gently, and when she opened her eyes again, demanded, "Do you believe me?"

She nodded mutely.

"Don't ever forget it."

He kissed her, swiftly, one last time, and was gone.

_What am I going to do?_

If she had been distracted in yesterday's seminars, today she was downright agitated. During two of the speakers' talks she drifted off to such an extent that she began to blush.

She vacillated between reliving wonderful memories of the night before, and panicking about what would come next. She had enjoyed his company so much, had been more attracted to him than any man ever before, but _marriage?_

_I can't stay here. I can't face him. I don't know what to say...this is so unreal. Maybe I should just check out and leave right now._ A side of her appreciated the delicate irony of her situation. She, Lanette Scott, who usually had men so wrapped around her finger, who was always so competent in every social situation, was now lost for words, lost even for rational thoughts! _Jane would never believe it if she were here right now._

Her conscience pestered her. _I don't think Grandma would have acted that way...falling into bed with a man on the first night she met him!_

_Never mind Grandma, I didn't ever dream that_ I _would act that way. Have I done something terribly wrong?_

_It sure doesn't feel like it_ , was her next thought, as her body reminded her of the wonders of the night before.

When the seminar ended, Lanette had barely taken two pages of notes. _They're not going to be very pleased with me when I get back to work._

She emerged with the crowd into the lobby and looked blankly around. _Rob said I would see him...but when?_ After a few minutes of staring blankly, she moved back to the main hotel foyer, where she had met him the night before. The chair she'd sat in last night was free and she collapsed in it, mind blank.

Conference delegates moved past her in groups and guiltily, she realized the magnitude of her incompetence...normally she would be moving socially, smiling, with the crowd, re-establishing old contacts and meeting new people...that had been the original purpose of her coming to this conference. The information sessions were useful, but the contacts she made were infinitely more valuable to her.

_Now here I am with a blank stare and a completely empty mind...maybe I should just go home. I am certainly not getting any work done._

She couldn't even remember which session she had been planning to attend next, although she had meticulously studied the program and had known, when her mind was functioning, exactly which sessions interested her.

"Lanette!" Her head spun around as she heard her name being called.

"Maurice! It's been a long time," she said with the warmth of genuine pleasure. She stood up to meet him, to shake his hand, but she had forgotten that he always greeted her in the French way. She acquiesced gracefully to having each of her cheeks kissed, and then her shoulders held as he stood back to look at her.

"Oui, mon amie, at least a thousand years," he said.

"Maybe three or four," she said wryly, amused as always by his extravagant manner.

"Shall we have coffee?" he offered, and swept his hand towards the lounge.

"Aren't you attending a session right now?"

"Ah, oui, it was my intention, but I would so much rather sit a while with a lovely lady. Especially when it has been so long."

_What the heck?_ she thought. _Lord knows I can't keep my mind on the speakers right now, anyway, and I don't seem to be up to the effort of socializing. At least Maurice will distract me with no effort on my part._

"All right, Maurice." As they made their way to a table that faced the lobby, she asked him, "But what are you doing out here, so far from home?"

"We have moved to Calgary!" The Frenchman said triumphantly. "My sister decided to move her investments out of Quebec, and when she visited for business, she fell in love with the blue sky and the mountains. Before I knew it, my wife decided she would like to move also. So, we searched jobs, and now we are here!"

Lanette's eyebrows raised. It was a common story. "So, you're married now," she stated as their coffees arrived.

He took a sip of his coffee, making her wait for his answer, teasing her in that age-old way of Frenchmen. _Really, he is a little tiresome,_ she thought. When she had been younger, she had spent some time in Quebec, to work on her French. But she had found, as many westerners claimed, that the way of life down east didn't measure up to what she was used to at home.

"Oui, I am married. She is an anglophone...are you surprised?"

"Yes, I am," she admitted. Maurice had always been fiercely French, and there had been a few evenings over beers that he had tried to convince Lanette of the beauties of the Quebecois way of life. _All that conversation was good for practicing my French,_ she thought, _but after a while, I just didn't want to hear his ideas any more, his preaching about his way of life. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink._ It hadn't taken Lanette long to decide that the way of life she lived at home was the best life, and her mind would not be changed.

_I never thought Maurice's mind would be changed, either, though._ "Are you happy?" she asked.

"In fact, I am," he admitted. "My wife, she is...a miracle." His long face beamed with pleasure. "We are pregnant," he told her.

"Congratulations."

"And you?" he asked. "Are you happy, here where you have your blue sky and your big yellow prairies?"

"Yes," she said firmly.

"And are you married? Did you ever find the man to match these high standards you always have?"

"No, not yet."

"But you are getting old!" he said in that annoying, invasive way the easterners had. Lanette sighed. _Maybe, but an Albertan would be too polite to mention it._

"You see," he chortled, "I told you there was no man who would be all the impossible things you expect."

Just then, Lanette saw Rob. _He's glowing,_ she thought. _How odd._ He saw her and waved, and she watched as he strode across the large hall towards them. It seemed that the rest of the room, and even the people in it, wavered, faded, as he passed them. _How is it that he's so much brighter than anyone else?_

She had forgotten her companion, and started when he spoke. "But was I wrong? Who is this?" Lanette didn't reply and the Frenchman took the initiative. As Rob came within speaking distance, he stood up, diverting Rob's gaze from where it had been fastened on Lanette's face.

"Hello, Monsieur, would you like to join us?" Maurice asked. He signalled the waitress. "Another coffee, s'il vous plaît!"

Rob looked at Lanette, then shrugged. "Merci," he said, and pulled up a third chair.

_Oh, this is a terrible idea,_ Lanette thought, feeling trapped, but finding no way out.

Rob turned to the other man and put out his hand. "Rob Langevin," he said.

"Maurice Legaulthier. It is a pleasure to meet the man who has finally caused Lanette's heart to go thumpa thumpa...but, Lanette," he said directly, "you told me there was no man! What is this? Certainly by the way you are looking at each other...why, you must be in love."

"Indeed, we are," Rob said firmly, pulling Lanette to his side.

"So, you are the rancher she has always looked for?"

"No, I'm just a kid from Ontario," Rob said cheerfully.

_He's from Ontario?_ she thought with horror. _Ontario?_

"What do you mean?" she asked, before she could stop herself.

"Oh, you didn't know that yet, did you?" Rob asked casually. "Yeah, I've only been out here for a couple of years. I used to be the big suit and tie guy in Toronto."

"How the hell is it that you're running tours in the Rockies, then? What are the owners thinking? You're just a city kid. There is no way you've got enough experience to be safely in charge of tourists."

Rob's facial expression changed as he realized he had somehow stepped in a very big puddle of trouble. His next words were careful. "Actually, I've got more experience than most of the other guides in Canmore," he said, beginning to resent the need to defend himself. He looked at Maurice, trying to lighten the atmosphere that had suddenly gotten very heavy and ominous at the small table. "You know how it is, eh? Taking every holiday you can away from the big city? My ex-wife got completely fed up with me spending every vacation in some mountain range or another..."

_He has been married before?_ Lanette felt her stomach knot up into a hard ball.

Maurice chortled companionably. "Ah, les femmes...qu'est-ce que on peut faire?"

"Rien, rien. Venez-vous de Montréal?"

"Oui, Monsieur."

Lanette fumed as the two men chatted easily, reminiscing about their lives back east. _Easterners,_ she thought darkly. _I have really got to get out of here._

"If you two will excuse me, I've got to get to my next session," she said. "It was nice seeing you again, Maurice, I hope you enjoy Calgary."

Maurice stood to kiss her, but she determinedly stuck out her hand, instead.

"But, Lanette, you depart so quickly..."

_Yeah, I've had about enough of you, buddy. There's a reason I left the east and have never gone back._

Rob didn't even look perturbed. "I'll see you later, then," he said, calmly, but didn't even stand. _Boor._

She put a two dollar coin on the table for her coffee, turned on her heel, and stalked off without a word to him.

She still didn't know what session she planned to see. Her mind was even more in turmoil than before. _He's from Ontario? And divorced? I wouldn't marry him if he were the last man on earth._

She punched the elevator button, and tapped her foot while she waited for it to arrive. Three other delegates arrived to stand beside her, laughing and chattering openly. She nodded at them politely, but then cast her eyes back at the floor.

When she reached to slide the card key into her room lock, she was surprised to notice her hands shaking. As she entered her room, all of her shook. She collapsed on her bed.

_I just gave my virginity to a divorced man. He's not even an Albertan. He's divorced, and he just moved here on a whim. He used to be a suit and tie businessman. Suit and tie. I said I'd never do this. I've judged so wrongly. What have I done? What have I done?_

She felt a hot tear trying to emerge from her eye and determinedly grit her teeth. _I will not cry over a worthless louse like him_

Frantically, she began to toss her belongings in the suitcase and stuffed the conference papers unceremoniously into her briefcase. She called the front desk. "Hello..."

"This is room 306. I wish to check out now, but I don't want to come to the lobby. Is it possible to have someone do up my account and bring it to my room for signing?"

She heard keys typing in the background. "Yes, of course, Ms. Scott. Has there been any problem with the service?"

"No, no. Not at all. Something has just come up, that's all."

"I'll send someone up as soon as possible, Ms. Scott.

"Thank you."

She finished packing, and sat back down on the bed. _Am I going to be able to drive? I'm still shaking._ She looked at the mini-bar, which she normally never touched. _Just a little, to settle my nerves._

She opened the tiny Scotch bottle and poured the contents into the glass from the bathroom. She took a gulp and concentrated on the hot, sweet-painful feeling of the alcohol making its way to her stomach, and laughed as she realized how closely the feelings invoked by the alcohol matched the ones that already swam uncontrollably through her blood stream.

_It'll be like a Chinese cure,_ she told herself, _or_ _homeopathy._ An extra jolt of this terrible stuff and soon my body will compensate for it...she meditated on the sensation of the Scotch, and gradually calmed down.

She answered the knock that came at the door, and realized, embarrassingly, that hot, silent tears had made tracks down her face. _Where did those come from? I never cry. Why am I such a wimp lately?_

"I just...took this one small bottle of Scotch. May I pay for it in cash?" When the hotel clerk nodded, she quickly settled the account, tipping him nicely and thanking him profusely.

She gathered up her bags and took one last look at the room where she'd lost all rational thought, maybe had wrecked all the plans she had for her future...and made her way home.

The tears continued all the long drive home. _Is this what a nervous breakdown is like?_ she wondered. _I've never felt so helpless in my life._

As she neared Brooks, she found herself turning north, towards her parents' ranch, rather than heading for the little apartment she rented in town. She pulled up the drive to the stable and parked.

Within fifteen minutes she had changed into her riding clothes, and hopped, bareback, onto her horse Melchizedek. She cantered out towards the back pasture, seeking solitude, seeking enough action to quiet her mind. She urged her stallion faster and faster, and the fierce concentration and muscle control required to stay on, bareback, at a gallop, exhilarated her. Finally they slowed to a walk, and Lanette slipped off his back to walk beside him. When his breathing had calmed, she stopped him and hugged him fiercely, clinging to his solid form as she had never needed to before. "Oh, Malki, Malki. You'll always be here for me, won't you, boy?" She stepped back to feed him treats from her pocket, and felt fiercely happy when he nudged her stomach, regarding her with his kind eye. "Yeah. You're real, boy. You're real."

She turned from him to look across the acres and acres of yellow prairie. Her uncle's cattle grazed peacefully in the distance to her right, and she saw a coyote slinking elegantly along, with the graceful lope of a prairie animal, to her left.

"This is my life!" she yelled, and Malki yanked his head back and snorted, displeased with the loud noise.

"I'm sorry, Malki, I'm sorry," she murmured, comforting the horse. She stroked his face, rubbing the spots she knew he liked best. "But you know what I mean, don't you, baby? This is my life. You know, Malki, yeah, you do. This is where we belong, next to the earth, where we can see the wild things. No man will _ever_ take me away from this, Malki, away from you. _Never_. What can he give me that I haven't already got? I won't leave you, Malki. I promise."

She turned around to face the prairie again. "Do you hear that, Rob Langevin?" she yelled into the air. "This is my life!"

# Chapter Four

Maurice leaned back in his chair. "So, you have captured the Steel Maiden."

"What do you mean?" Rob asked, not really sure who this guy was to Lanette, or why she'd left in such a hurry.

"When she was in Montréal, there were many of us guys who would love to be in your position, but she would not have a thing to do with us." He sighed wistfully. "What a woman! 'I would never marry you eastern city boys,' she would laugh to our face."

"How totally narrow-minded!" Rob bristled.

"Oh, no, mon ami, I don't think she's narrow-minded. Lanette, she is always gentille, says that she is tolerant that we live how we want...she just does not want us for herself. She is always so fun to be with, and kind to all of us, but she just never let us get serious about a relationship with her."

He looked at Rob. "That's why I admire you. How did you do it? How you get past all those restrictions and high ideals of hers?"

"Just love, man. Lightning bolts." _But that was me._ His heart dropped. _How do I know she feels the same way? Was she mad when she left us at this table?_

"And you divorced, too." Maurice shook his head. "Man, back when she was younger, she was always ranting about how modern society hasn't got any values any more, always holding Quebec's high divorce rates over our heads...I used to wonder if it was her grandmother lecturing us, she was so old-fashioned."

Rob looked a little stunned. Maurice barely noticed, on a roll as he was. Chuckling away, he shook his head. "Well, things will change, eh? I'd never have thought Lanette Scott would ever be caught. I didn't think the man existed that could do it. Good job, eh?"

The other man's words drained Rob's last hopes. _I have definitely got a problem. I had no idea, and there I was, blurting these things out...I should have told her about my divorce more gently, when I had time to explain things..._ He tried not to let the talkative Maurice notice his dismay as he excused himself. _Why didn't I think more carefully?_ "I think I'll go join Lanette in her session," he said, and reached for his wallet to pay for his coffee.

Maurice waved it away. "Don't worry about it. Ça me fait plaisir, to buy a coffee for a man tough enough to break Lanette Scott to the saddle, eh?" he chuckled at his own humour. "Get it, break her to saddle, eh?" He winked and nudged Rob, who was by now feeling slightly sick.

He smiled weakly. "Thanks, Maurice."

"See you the next time! Invite me to the wedding, eh?" Maurice called after him.

_Dammit! I wonder which seminar she possibly could have gone to? There are dozens of rooms._ The conference center, in fact, extended into several adjacent buildings.

He started at the nearest room, opened the door, and scanned the room for a long, dark braid. No luck. He went to the next room, and the next, and the next, and grew more worried as he proceeded. _How am I going to find her in here?_ he thought _. Why did I let her walk away?_

_Because this is her business conference—yours too,_ a voice in his head reminded him. _Why don't you just relax and do some work?_ He contemplated the idea of sitting down to one of the meetings, but discarded it. _I'd never be able to concentrate, anyway,_ he thought. _I might as well keep looking._

He checked about two dozen conference rooms before he finally gave up. _Maybe she went back to her room,_ he thought, and made his way there.

The door was open and the maid was vacuuming. He knocked on the door. "Excuse me. Have you seen the lady that's staying here?"

"She just checked out, sir."

"What? When?"

"About a half hour ago, sir."

As Rob continued to stand there, looking thunderstruck, she asked him kindly, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No," he said shakily. "No, thank you."

Rob went to the hotel bar, ordered a beer, sat down, and stared blankly ahead.

_This is good beer,_ he thought, admiring the dark amber colour of it. _Too bad it's being wasted on someone as numb as me._

He tried to form some thoughts, but they wouldn't come, so he just sat there and continued admiring his beer.

Colin strode into the bar with Brad. "Uh-oh!" Colin said jovially. "We've been caught playing hooky by the boss."

Rob gave him a weak smile. "Ah, I won't get you in too much trouble, this time."

Colin was headed for the bar. "You want another one, Rob? It looks like you're just about empty there."

"Thanks, Colin, I'd like that."

Brad joined him at the table. "You okay, Rob?" Brad asked quietly.

"Not really."

"You want to talk about it?'

"Maybe, but not with Colin around, okay?"

Brad looked surprised. Rob wasn't usually one to keep secrets. "Fine. I'll be here when you're ready."

Blue eyes met blue with the deep understanding of true friendship.

"Thanks."

Colin rejoined them at the table, carrying a pitcher and glasses, and the three men talked over what they'd heard at the conference so far, the contacts each had made, and what it meant to the company. Colin, the eager junior, took some impromptu notes on the plans and suggestions they made.

_I'm so happy in this life I've made for myself,_ Rob thought. _It's so satisfying to be running things...just the way I want._ Years spent as a troubleshooter with his ex-father-in-law's multinational company had given Rob plenty of experience with what helped and hurt companies...human relations mattered to him a lot, and he made sure all the people he hired on were one hundred percent loyal to the company. _I'd rather keep it small and good, than expand by hiring less than top notch people, and regret it later,_ he'd decided early on.

"Where's Joe?" he asked suddenly.

Colin and Brad glanced at each other and smirked. "Last time we saw him, it looked like he was headed out for lunch with a nice-looking blonde."

Rob raised his brows questioningly at Brad.

The other man shrugged. "You know Joe."

Rob just smiled and shook his head.

"So what's up for this evening?" Colin asked. "Hey, what happened with that date you had last night? Was she as hot as you thought she'd be?"

"Oh yeah," Rob breathed, "She was definitely a babe. Tall, fit, hair down to here—" he made a motion with his hand.

"So, what's doing, where's she at?" Colin wanted to know, craning his neck to look comically around the bar, as if she was about to show up any moment.

_How I wish that were true,_ Rob thought. "Turns out she doesn't like Ontario boys," he told Colin.

"Ah, one of those, eh? I don't know what it is with those farm chicks...they're so picky. Well, ya win some, ya lose some. So are you guys up for going out tonight? I was thinking of heading down to the Longhorns Bar."

Brad looked carefully at Rob. "What do you think, Rob?"

"Yeah, why not? It's not like I've got anything better to do."

"Why don't we meet back here, after the conferences finish? Then we can grab a bite to eat, and head out."

"Sure." Rob and Brad agreed easily with Colin's plan, and watched him bounce out the door.

"You want another one, Brad?"

"Looks like you do." Rob nodded stoically. "Sure, I'll keep you company." He signalled the waitress for two more, and turned his attention to his friend.

"So, what's up? Why are you sitting in this bar trying to get drunk? I've never seen you do this before. How serious is it?"

"I asked her to marry me."

Brad choked on the beer he'd been in the act of sipping. Very carefully and slowly, he set his mug down and wiped up where he'd spilled. Then he looked back into his friend's eyes.

"Could you say that again? I don't think I caught it right."

Rob expelled his breath in frustration. "Yeah, you caught it right. I asked her to marry me. Now she's gone. End of story, I guess."

Brad shook his head. "Nah. No, it's not the end of the story. Now, just let me get this straight...this is the girl you met last night?"

"Mmmm-hmm."

"Then you ate dinner?"

"Thai food. Spicy. She barely even touched her water glass." _Of course, she did drink rather a lot of wine._

Brad looked impressed. "Likes spicy food, eh? And how many fights have you two had so far?"

"Two," Rob admitted ruefully. "No, three. I don't know, does it count if she just walks quietly away, mad?"

"Oh, buddy, you are in trouble. What's going on? You're Mister Easy-Going, Laissez-Faire, never upset a day in his life. What's with all this intensity? And what was she mad about?"

"I'm not exactly sure...I came up to a table where she was sitting with this guy, Maurice, from Quebec, and I guess they knew each other from way back. Anyways, Maurice starts congratulating me, and Lanette got really angry when she found out I'm guiding and I'm not a native of Canmore...she didn't think a guy from Ontario would have enough experience. So then I tried to joke with Maurice about my ex-wife not liking when I went to the mountains every holiday we had..."

Brad interrupted with a groan. "You blurted out stuff about your ex-wife in mixed company? Man, you are dumb."

"Yeah."

"What's so great about this woman? She likes spicy food, fine, I can see your point. Your ex-wife hated it, as I remember you saying."

Rob nodded.

"Okay, so she's appealing because she's different from the ex, instead of blonde and sophisticated, she must be an adventurer. What else?"

"She's tall," Rob said dreamily.

"How tall?"

"About six feet," Rob said wistfully. "Her head rests just, here, when we dance..."

"You went dancing?"

"Two stepping. Boy, can she dance. Barely even broke a sweat, she's so fit. And long hair. Lord, that hair..."

"Still, man...this is not like you. You're not only the most laid-back guy I know, you're also the most, well, intelligent."

"And now you think I'm sounding stupid? I'm feeling pretty stupid right now, I'll tell you. But I should tell you, Brad, this laid-back me is a new thing. It's my Canmore me. Back when I was in Toronto, I was intense all the time. Very intense. So you shouldn't be surprised if you see me get that way sometimes...past monsters coming back to haunt me."

"I do have to admit, asking a girl to marry you is a pretty intense thing to do," Brad accepted.

"Well, I got to thinking how she might be pregnant..."

"You slept together, too?" Brad squawked.

Rob sighed. "Did we? I'll say. God, she's a tigress. Took her own virginity, sitting up there on top of me...I didn't have any idea," he protested, looking straight at Brad. "I didn't mean to take her virginity, but she was so hot, so passionate, and, I never thought..."

Brad blushed. "It seems you didn't think at all. Rob, I think you'd better stop drinking now."

Rob's eyes opened wide. "I don't want this to be the end of the story, Brad. I want her to come back. I still want to marry her."

"Look, let's go for a walk and figure this out," Brad coaxed.

"Okay. I'll just pay."

"No, no, stay there. I'll settle it," Brad insisted. He went up to talk to the barkeep and settle the tab, and was surprised to discover that Rob hadn't had all that much to drink, after all. _He sure seems zonked...maybe he really is in love._

"Have you eaten yet?" he asked Rob when he got back to the table.

Rob shook his head and Brad said, "Come on, I'll take you out for dim sum."

"Mmmm...Chinese food."

"Yeah, maybe it will sop some of that beer out of your system."

Rob kind of rambled on about Lanette all the way to Chinatown. Brad just let him, trusting that after he let his friend walk and got some food into him, he'd be able to talk sensibly with him. _Damn,_ he thought. _I was looking forward to this afternoon's sessions, too._ Although Rob was officially the owner of Blue and White Tours, they all had input in how things were handled and run, and Brad had loved learning all about aspects of the business he'd never really thought about when he'd been guiding before, working for somebody else. But Rob was a great boss, and a great friend, and he obviously needed a little rescuing right now. Just as Rob had never abandoned Brad when they were climbing together, Brad wouldn't abandon him now. They weren't roped together, but Brad could tell his buddy had slipped and needed a hand.

"You know, I'm not all that surprised she ran away," he said later.

Rob looked up from his shrimp-filled rice pancake.

Brad took a sip of tea. "There you are, this hulking big man. You get her drunk, you intoxicate her with your fabulous dancing, and then you take her to bed. She wakes up, realizes she hardly knows you, and then you ask her to marry you. It's no wonder if she thinks you're pushy and backs away a little. She probably thinks you're a complete lunatic."

Rob groaned. "But, it wasn't like that, Brad. We connected. I'm telling you, there was some deep emotion going on. I was trying to do the honourable thing, but she was so damn sexy!"

Brad shook his head. "Maybe, but if you're trying to get a girl to stick around, you didn't really go about it the right way."

"Oh? You've got some better ideas?"

"Uh-huh." Brad chewed on a sparerib. "You've got to tease them a little. Dangle the carrot."

"But..." Rob tried to break in, but Brad didn't let him.

"Now, since you've already completely blown that game plan, you've got to think damage control. I don't blame her a bit for running off. Give her some space, man, some time to digest it all. Don't call her right away."

"But I need to see her."

"So, e-mail her and arrange a date. That way she can take her time replying. If you phone her, she might feel cornered."

Rob nodded his head slowly, and sighed. "I guess I can see your point. Maybe I wasn't thinking clearly. Maybe she didn't feel as intense as I did."

"Ah, don't lose all hope, buddy. She did choose to go to bed with you. That's got to mean something."

"I hope so," Rob said fervently.

There was an e-mail from Rob on Monday.

Lanette,

I was wondering if this weekend would be good for me to come meet your parents?

Love,

Rob

_Is the man totally obtuse?_ Lanette wondered. _I left, didn't he get the message? We don't have a chance together. It's impossible._

There was an e-mail on Wednesday.

Lanette,

I thought a picnic would be nice. Maybe Saturday. I won't even kiss you if you don't want me to.

Rob

Lanette printed it out and put it away in her desk drawer with the other one, but still deleted it without replying. She ignored the leaping of her heart. _He'll give up eventually._

Thursday's e-mail said,

Lanette,

I'll see you on Saturday around noon, okay?

Rob

_He can't mean it, when I haven't replied to a single one of his emails._

"Well, Brad, I did what you said and e-mailed her, no gushy stuff, no recriminations for leaving, nothing, just asking about the weekend, and she hasn't even replied. Are you sure I shouldn't just phone her?"

"Nah. That would just give her the chance to refuse. Just wiggle your way back with easy friendship. Maybe if you're lucky she'll forget what a lunatic you were the morning after."

"I hope you're right..."

"Trust me, man, women are like trout. You've got to tease them a little with the bait to get them to bite. Then, once you've hooked them, you've got to fight like hell to get them into the boat. You can't just force the worm down their throats, man. And you know fishing wouldn't be any fun if you could just scoop her up with the net right away."

Rob had to laugh in spite of himself. "I guess that's a good way to look at it. It sure looks like I'm going to be waiting a long time for my fish supper, though...at the moment it seems like she's slipped the hook and I'll never get her close enough to net her."

"Patience, my friend, patience. Just enjoy the fishing expedition."

"Directory assistance," came the pleasant voice on the line. "For what city, please?"

"Brooks, Alberta."

"For what name?" asked the friendly electronic voice.

"Lanette Scott."

"Is this a business number?"

"No." _Unfortunately, this came up too late to call her at the agency..._

"I'm sorry, there's no listing by that name." Rob started as a real voice replaced the canned one he'd been replying to.

"What about an L. Scott?"

"No, I'm sorry sir."

Rob was beginning to feel desperate. "Have you got any listings for Scott at all?"

"Yes, sir, there are...let's see, twenty-two of them."

_Groan._ He gritted his teeth. "Could I have the first five, then, please?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I am only permitted to give out one number at a time."

He sighed. "Well, then, can I please have the first number?"

"Please hold," the operator said impersonally.

He scratched the number on a pad, and phoned it immediately. _It's already eight thirty,_ he thought. _It's getting a bit late to be calling strangers on the phone. I hope I find someone who knows her, soon._ As the phone began to ring on the other end, he thought guiltily, _I hope I'm not waking anybody's sleeping baby..._

"Scott residence," a man's voice said gruffly on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir..."

"I don't want any," he said abruptly, and hung up the phone.

Rob looked disbelievingly at the receiver. _So much for apologizing,_ he thought. _Next time I'll be more direct._ He toyed with the idea of calling the man back, but decided against it. Obviously he was someone who guarded his privacy rather jealously.

He called the operator again, and repeated the conversation with the electronic voice, randomly picking the initial _R_ and hoping it would work. To his relief, an R. Scott was listed in the directory, and he wrote the number neatly under the other one as his business training kicked in. _I guess I should keep a record of what I'm doing. This might be a long process,_ he thought with resignation, glad that the hospital had an adequate supply of pay phones, so no-one was waiting in line behind him _._

"Good evening," he said into the receiver when a lady answered, afraid he would get hung up on again. "My name is Rob Langevin, and I'm looking for a Lanette Scott. I'm wondering if you know her."

"Oh, Lanette," the old lady's voice quavered. "Yes, of course."

"Is it possible you have her phone number? I'm trying to get in touch with her."

"Me? Oh, no, I don't have her number. Why don't you just look in the phone book?" she recommended brightly, as if she'd given him a brilliant idea.

"Thank you, ma'am, I'll do that," Rob said.

_Two down, twenty to go,_ he thought.

He randomly picked _C_ this time and called directory assistance. There was no _C_ so he crossed it neatly off on his paper, and tried _W_.

"Will Scott."

_Uh oh, another gruff, short-on-words type. I'd better be speedy._

"Hi, I'm wondering if you know Lanette Scott?"

"Who am I talking to?" the voice on the other end asked.

"My name's Rob Langevin."

"And why are you asking?"

Rob floundered for a minute, not used to having to explain himself. "I...met her at a conference last weekend, and we're supposed to have a date tomorrow, but I have to cancel and it's too late to call her at work now."

The other man chuckled. "A date with Lanette. So, you've joined the admiring hoards, eh? You got honourable intentions?" he asked suddenly.

"Well, I did ask her to marry me," Rob admitted, responding to the other man's easy voice.

"Marriage! Don't that beat all! I haven't heard a thing about you. Where's your place at?"

"Canmore."

Will sounded puzzled. "You've got a ranch out in Canmore?"

"No, sir. No ranch. Just a tour company."

"Oh. And you're hoping to marry Lanette, you said?"

"Yes."

"I guess there's no accounting for love," the man said, and Rob imagined him shaking his head. "Of all the girls hereabouts, I never thought Lanette would be one that would move away."

"Have you got her number, sir?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation back to his purpose, and away from this frighteningly revealing conversation. _Lanette's going to be pretty peeved if she finds out I blurted that out,_ he thought.

"What's with this "sir" stuff? I guess if you're going to be one of the family, we'd better introduce ourselves. I'm Will, her uncle. Now, I haven't actually got her number in town, but I can give you her parents' number at the ranch."

Rob rejoiced. "Thank you, that would do fine," he said.

"I'll look forward to meeting you, Rob."

"Thanks, Will."

Rob dialled the number Will had given him, and felt a flutter of nervousness in his stomach as he listened to the rings on the other end.

A woman answered on the eighth ring, sounding a little breathless. "Hello?"

"Hello..." all of a sudden, Rob was at a loss for words. "I'm looking for Lanette."

"Oh, she won't be here until tomorrow, to teach riding lessons."

"Is there a number where I could reach her?" he asked.

"Well, I know she's gone out tonight, anyway, so you wouldn't reach her. May I ask who's calling?" she asked.

Rob felt that he was getting good at explaining himself by now. "Of course, I'm sorry. My name's Rob Langevin, and I was supposed to have a picnic date with her tomorrow."

"Really? That's very interesting. I never heard of it."

_Maybe she didn't get any of my emails,_ he thought, his heart beating faster. _Maybe that's why she didn't reply._ "Are you her mother?" Rob asked suddenly.

"Yes, I am." There was a pause. "So, you say you had a date arranged with my daughter for tomorrow?"

Rob felt a prickle of embarrassment under his collar. _Not exactly arranged,_ he thought.

"Well...as it turns out, I won't be able to make it. Could you pass the message on to her for me, or will I be able to reach her?"

"Well, Rob...I know my daughter's rather careful with her privacy..." _and that's a damn lie, Melba, and you know it. But for a good reason. Why has she suddenly become so secretive about this guy? Why does he call up, so honest and charming, and I've never heard of him before?_ "...so I guess it's probably better if I give her the message. You won't be here, you say. Is there any reason, in particular?"

"Well...one of the other guides in my company has just cracked some vertebrae in his back, and he is supposed to be taking a group of people climbing this weekend. I'm going to have to take the group of people myself, so I won't be able to make it down to Brooks."

"Climbing, you say?

"Yes, I'll be guiding the trip Lanette's coming along on this summer..."

"Oh, yes, she did tell me about that. Mount Assiniboine, isn't it?"

"That's the one," Rob said, relieved that Lanette had at least mentioned something to her mother about him.

"Anyway, I won't be here when Lanette gets here tomorrow. My husband and I are going to a horse sale south of Calgary to buy some more foals for Lanny to train. I'll have my son pass the message on to her for you, how's that?"

"Thank you. And—could you tell her that I'll be there for next Saturday, instead?"

"All right. Do you know how to get out to the ranch? She always teaches lessons on Saturday mornings."

"No, I don't," he admitted. Much to his surprise, Lanette's mother gave him the instructions for navigating the prairie roads to their ranch.

_I'd like to meet this man that my daughter seems to be making such efforts to resist...it's very unusual for her, when she's usually so up front with everything...I can respect her right not to hand out her phone number, but it never hurts to welcome another visitor out at the ranch..._

Lanette didn't want to admit she'd gotten up early to wash her hair, or that she was wearing one of her best shirts with her usual Saturday jeans. She didn't want to own up to the way her eyes kept straying to the front yard, looking for a blue truck, the way her ears kept listening for the gentle thunder of a diesel engine. But as the hours rolled by, and he didn't show up, she was honest enough to admit to herself that she was disappointed.

_It's hardly a surprise,_ she told herself, _that he didn't show up when I didn't reply to a single one of his notes!_

_Ah, he's just an unreliable easterner. He probably realized how long the drive would be, and decided not to come._

_It's better this way, anyway. I don't want to see him anymore. It would just be stirring up a hornet's nest of trouble._

But something in her heart felt small and heavy, despite all the logic of her mind. _It was just flattering to be chased, that's all. This is better._ It didn't cross her mind to compare this time to past times that she'd been chased, and found it more of a nuisance than anything, to compare Rob to other guys she'd turned down as nicely as she could, but without any emotional effect on herself.

Dispirited, she began to muck out the barn. _At least it will keep me busy,_ she thought. _How stupid I was! Normally I would have made plans with Jane, or somebody, for the afternoon, but now I have nothing to do._

When she had finished cleaning the stalls and putting fresh straw around, she swept every nook and cranny. Still full of nervous energy, she decided to give her tack a good scrub, and, when it was clean, she rubbed neatsfoot oil into the leather until it was smooth and supple and shiny. She looked at her watch. Still early afternoon. Putting her saddle and bridle away in the tack room, she noticed that her parents' saddles could use a good care session, too, so she tackled them. An hour and a half later, despite having used considerable elbow grease on leather care, she still felt restless. There was nothing left to clean, so she walked down the aisle. The horses were all out to pasture for the afternoon. _Maybe I'll just bring Beck in for some exercise,_ she thought. Beck was Malki's gelded half-brother, and his owner was out of town for a few weeks, so Lanette knew they would only appreciate it if she exercised him. _Malki has already had his workout this morning, and he's got a date with a lady tomorrow morning, so I'd better not exhaust him._

She grabbed Beck's halter and went out to the field to catch him.

Lanette's stallion was one of the most sought-after Canadian Warmblood studs in the region. She was saving up the stud fees she collected, hoping that someday she would set up her own operation, with her own brood mares. Somehow, although Lanette was involved in every aspect of this stable from training horses to teaching lessons, she was always aware that it was her parents' operation—and that she, Lanette, wasn't really needed there. Indeed, it had worked very conveniently with her travel agent's job...she had never needed to worry when she travelled. Her mom always took over her teaching, her dad exercised Malki, and everything else ran more or less the same without her.

_But it would sure be nice to have my own stable, my own brood mares,_ she thought wistfully, as she swung her saddle onto Beck's back. _I've travelled enough now—been everywhere but Antarctica, it seems. That life is getting a little empty...I wouldn't mind settling down, being able to ride horses all day, having children..._

_What?_ The last thought surprised her. A warmth spread in her chest. _I_ am _feeling ready for a family. I am feeling settled enough to start my own operation._

_But now I've gone and messed everything up,_ she thought angrily, _by falling for this completely unsuitable guy._

Abruptly, she cut her thoughts off. _This is getting me nowhere._ She poured her concentration and energy into giving Beck an intense, thorough workout in the ring, putting him through his dressage paces and then over a course of jumps.

Afterwards, she was satisfied with the work she'd done with the horse, but not exhausted enough. Thoughts of Rob returned, swirling persistently around in her head.

_I'll go see Jane,_ she thought. _She'll have a rational perspective for me._

Twenty-five minutes later, she was knocking on Jane's lovely front door with the stained-glass window that Jane had designed herself.

_Will I ever create a beautiful home like this, when I settle down?_ Lanette wondered, thinking of her own small, rather bare apartment.

P _robably not,_ she admitted wryly. Like countless generations of people who lived off the land, Lanette tended to look outside her house for beauty and action. She cherished the smell of leather and horses in the stable, the heat of the sun, the delicate smell of ripening wheat.

_None of those are appropriate inside,_ she thought.

_Just a simple log cabin, maybe, with a nice cozy wood stove._ She laughed at herself. Fireplaces, never mind log cabins, were few and far between on the prairies.

_But what if I moved to the mountains to be with Rob?_ an inner voice teased her. _Then I could have the log cabin, the babies..._

_But what else? I don't have much saved yet, and I don't think Rob's exactly going to be buying any lovely home on a guide's salary. So there I'd be, stuck in the middle of town...a lovely town, but still, none of my own land, none of my own animals._ She shook her head. _No. I'll just have to find another guy._

_And I'd probably better do it soon, before I fall any deeper for Rob._

Jane finally answered the door in her painting smock. "Lanette! What are you doing here?"

"I just came by to talk. I'm not interrupting any great inspiration, am I?"

"No, I can keep working while we talk. But I thought you had a date." Lanette hadn't told Jane much of what had transpired at the conference in Calgary, except that the guy was being persistent and might show up on Saturday.

"Nah, he didn't show up. I should have guessed he wouldn't. I told you he was just a city boy."

Jane shook her head. "I keep trying to tell you, you shouldn't make those stereotypes of yours..."

"I haven't been wrong yet, have I?"

"No, but I am sure you will be someday soon...and it's going to hit you hard when it comes," Jane said ominously.

Lanette laughed. "Is that your Irish roots coming through, with all these mysterious premonitions?"

"Just a feeling I've got, Lanny. I just wish you'd give people more of a chance. What if this Rob is a really great guy, and you never find out because you're being so stubborn?"

_Yeah, What If?_ Lanette thought, but didn't reply.

"Anyway, Lanette, I don't know why you are so upset the guy wants to date you a little bit. Usually you're so casual. I couldn't begin to count how many guys you've had a few dates with."

"Jane, he asked me to marry him."

Jane looked quickly at Lanette, and smeared the orange brushstroke she'd been applying to the coat of a fox stalking a hare.

"Dangit!" Jane swiped at the paint with a cloth. "So, he asked you to marry him? Well, you know, that's happened before, too. And you always just laughed. So what's so serious?"

Lanette opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again. She had no answer for that. _Yeah, what's so serious?_ She slumped down on the couch and rested her chin in her hands. Jane kept painting, and Lanette tried to think, but didn't get far. Happily, Jane wasn't the kind of friend who forced answers. She had asked her question, and she knew that was enough. Lanette watched the paint go down on the canvas. The fox detail finished, Jane moved to stroking in marsh grass, then shallow brown water.

As she moved to the blue sky, still with no answers in her head, Lanette bounced off the couch. "Got any food? I'll make dinner."

"Sounds great," said Jane, and kept painting. As Lanette sashayed to the kitchen, a small smile snuck onto Jane's face, and she shook her head. A speechless Lanette might be new in her experience.

# Chapter Five

Lanette wiped the sweat off her brow, and her hand came away streaked with dirt. It had been an uncommonly hot week for spring, and the prairie dust, churned up by horses' hooves in the ring, covered her from head to foot.

"That was a good lesson, Tanya," she congratulated one of her young students. "Your posture is getting much better. Keep working on it."

"Thanks, Lanette," said the young girl shyly. "Maybe someday I'll be as good as you, and ride Malki!"

"Lanette!" her mother came out of the stable and saw her talking easily with her students. "Don't you think you should have a shower and get dressed? Isn't your young man coming today?"

Lanette walked closer to her mom. "What young man, Mom?

"Rob, of course. Don't tell me you've forgotten already."

"Well, Mother, as I remember it, he had promised to come last weekend. And how did you find out about it, anyways?"

_Uh oh. She only calls me "Mother" when she's upset,_ Melba thought. She spoke her next words carefully.

"Well, he called on Friday night to let you know he couldn't make it. Didn't Clayton give you the message?"

"No." _How typical of him, not to bother to remember,_ Lanette fumed.

"That's odd," Melba said.

_Of course. You never suspect that your son's anything less than perfect, do you, Mom? Never see how he has never, will never, bother to lift a finger for me._

"That's a real shame," her mother repeated. "I'll bet you've gone the whole week, imagining that you had been stood up. Oh, I'm sorry for that, dear." She worried a little. Sometimes, when Lanette began to get angry, it took her a long time to calm down.

"He sounded very nice on the phone, anyways."

"I know." _God, do I know._

"He had a good reason for having to cancel...one of his friends broke his back, and he had to stay and cover for him, take one of the tours over himself."

Lanette expelled air impatiently. "You know what, Mother, I don't really care! I don't want to see him, anyway! If he actually does show up, he can just turn his truck around and go back where he came from. Preferably all the way back to Ontario!"

"Lanette! I am shocked. I would never have imagined I could have raised such a rude girl. Even if you have to let him down, you should at least let him know in person."

"Well," angry tears poured from Lanette's eyes, making tracks in the dust covering her face, "Well, Mom, a lot of things have changed lately." She turned and ran to Melchizedek stall, and almost before Melba could blink, had bridled her stallion, leaped bareback aboard, and raced out to the pasture.

Melba watched her daughter gallop away. _I haven't seen her ride bareback in a long time,_ she thought, unable to stop herself admiring her daughter's excellent horsemanship.

"Is Lanette mad, Melba?" one of the little girls Lanette had been teaching, asked. _My gosh, these little girls witnessed that whole scene,_ Melba thought. _Lanette really is out of control. She's normally so calm around her students...and if I know my daughter, she is really going to regret her outburst later on. What could have gotten into her?_

"No, dear, she's just a little upset. You girls don't worry about it," she said, trying to placate the wide-eyed group. "Would you all like to ride some more jumps for a while? I'll stay here with you." Her suggestion received a chorus of cheers, and Melba hoped she had distracted them from speculating about Lanette.

The girls began to mount up again and head back into the ring, while a couple tied their ponies to a railing because they wanted to re-arrange some of the jumps. Suddenly, they paused. An unfamiliar, shiny blue pickup truck pulled into the drive, and they waited to see who was inside.

A tall, handsome man got out. _Lord,_ thought Melba. _Why wouldn't she want to see this man? My own heart's beating like it hasn't since my own husband courted me._

_Courting._ She seized on the idea. _Lanette's serious about this guy! That's why she's so upset, because she can't so easily brush him off..._

He approached where Melba stood, a warm smile on his face, and she realized that the girls, with an infuriating lack of shyness, were congregating back to meet him, as well.

"Are you the reason Lanette's crying?" one of them asked, feeling unabashedly bold up on top of her pony.

He looked a little shocked and his glance shot to Melba, and then around the yard.

"She's not here," Melba said. "Girls, go back to your jumps, please." As they reluctantly obeyed, she turned her attention back to the tall, good-looking man in front of her. "I guess you'd be Rob."

"That's right. I was hoping to say 'pleased to meet you,' but maybe you're not pleased to see me right now. I guess you're Lanette's mother?"

She shook the hand that was offered to her. "Please, call me Melba." They both moved comfortably to the fence of the riding ring, watching the girls take their horses over the jump course they'd set out.

"So, Rob," she said, getting straight to the point, "do you care to tell me what you've done to my little girl?"

"No more than she's done to me, Mrs. Scott."

"Melba," she said, automatically. "That's not much of an answer, Rob. Let's start at the beginning. Where did you two meet?"

"She didn't even tell you that much? At the conference in Calgary a couple of weeks ago. But we talked on the phone a few times before that..." he trailed off, realizing how lame that sounded.

"And...?"

He decided to just spit out everything at once. "I got a bit hasty, and asked her to marry me."

"So that's why she's running scared," Melba said, almost under her breath.

"I realize now it was a pretty stupid thing to do, but it just kind of happened," he admitted sheepishly.

Melba laughed. Despite Lanette's apparent difficulties with this man, she couldn't help liking him, herself. "Is that something you've made a habit of, Rob?"

"First time it's ever happened. Hopefully, the last, too. I do intend to marry her."

Melba's brows raised. "Oh, you do, do you?" She chuckled. "I can see that my daughter is going to have her hands full."

She saw her husband stroll out of the barn. "Hey, Nate. Come meet Rob Langevin. He plans to marry our little girl."

The other man strode up, looking Rob up and down. "Is that so?" he commented, as if they were discussing the weather. "Well, then, I guess we've got things to talk about. Nate Scott," he said formally, shaking Rob's hand firmly. "Normally, I would have thought to meet you _before_ hearing that you'd like to marry my daughter..."

"That's what she said, too."

"Where is she?" Nate asked his wife.

"Well...turns out, Clay must have forgotten to pass the message on last weekend. So fifteen minutes ago when I asked her why she wasn't washing up, was the first time she heard that Rob, here, was on his way. You know she's not good with surprises."

Nate nodded his head. "No, she wouldn't have liked that." He looked quickly at Rob. "You're sure you want her?" he asked. "She's a stubborn one." When Rob's brows shot up, he clarified, "don't get me wrong. I love my daughter, but she's not the easiest person to be with."

"I'm learning," Rob admitted wryly.

"Nate!" his wife admonished. "She is a very good person. You have got to admit this is a strange situation."

"So it is. How would you like a drink, Rob? Wash some of this dust out of your throat."

"We don't have to stay watching the girls?" he asked automatically. He had become so used to guiding school groups, that constant supervision was almost second nature to him.

"Thanks for asking, Rob, but I can handle it." Melba waved them on their way. "They won't be much longer, now, and I wanted to give a few of the girls some pointers, anyway. You two go ahead, and I'll see you at the house."

"So, Rob," Nate asked, when they were settled on the porch with a drink. "Tell me about yourself."

"Like, who the heck do I think I am to be marrying your daughter?"

"Something like that."

"Well, what would you like to know?"

"You smoke?"

"No."

"Drink?"

"Not much." Rob thought of the day Lanette had left him. "Well, I did get drunk once. The day your daughter left me."

"And when was that, being that I've never heard of you before?"

He flushed, but looked Nate right in the eye. "Two weeks ago."

Nate shook his head, and looked into the distance. He took a long drink of his beer. Silence reigned for a while.

"I've got to say, Rob, I don't know as I'd want you marrying my girl on such a short acquaintance."

"I can see the sense in that." Rob admitted. "But I do love her, and that's not going to change." Rob's tone was firm. Nate could not doubt his conviction.

"There she is, now," Nate said, and Rob squinted into the distance. It was some time before he picked out the form moving back towards the house.

"You've got good eyes," he said.

"A lifetime on the prairie," Nate replied. "I guess you'd be wantin' to take her away from all this?"

"Only to the mountains, sir. It's not so far away."

"Don't "sir" me, son. We don't stand on ceremony around here. Just be honest."

Rob bit his lip to stop himself from apologizing. "I will be."

"I've got to admit, you've got guts. She's no easy woman, my daughter. Wants a lot out of life."

"So do I, s-" he stopped himself just in time. "I would give her everything."

"But can you?" Nate asked bluntly. "She has grown up owning land, owning animals. Can you give her that? There's not much private land even to be bought in the mountains, never mind how expensive it is. She's been saving for her own horse operation, I know, but she wouldn't have the cash to set up in Canmore."

"I can afford it," Rob admitted reluctantly.

"Oh? How's that?"

Rob gritted his teeth. _I hate this. I hate having to explain myself, how he's making everything so complicated...when how I feel is so simple. I just want to be with Lanette. Everything else will work itself out._ He forced himself to answer Nate's question calmly. _He's got a right to ask, to protect his daughter. Lanette's worth it._

"I earned a lot of money in Toronto."

"In Toronto? What were ya doin' there?"

"I used to live there."

"Oh?"

Rob didn't like Nate's tone of voice. _There's that attitude again. What is it with these people?_

"Yeah. I lived there, I made a lot of money, and now I'm here. Okay?" He tried to keep the defensiveness out of his voice, justified as he thought it was.

Nate sighed. "I'll give you this: you had the sense to move west. I'll give you a chance or two to redeem yourself."

Rob gritted his teeth. Ask him and four million Torontonians, they had nothing to redeem...but it wasn't the first time he'd heard someone in Alberta with the opinion that the only good thing that ever came out of the east was the sun. He would have just preferred those narrow-minded views not come from his future in-laws. Hopefully, as they got to know him, they'd change and mellow. Intelligent people couldn't stay wrong that long, could they? He thought hopefully.

He watched Lanette and her horse move closer, admiring the beautiful picture they made...her dark brunette hair matched the horse perfectly, and flowed gracefully around her, moving with the motion of the horse. _Maybe it came undone while she was galloping,_ he thought. _She probably had it in that tidy braid while she was teaching..._ he drifted off for a moment, remembering the silkiness of her long, long hair.

"They make a lovely picture, don't they?" her father asked him.

"They sure do."

"You'll never take her away from that horse, you know. If it comes down to a decision between you and Melchizedek, she'll choose the horse."

"Thanks for the warning. I haven't got any intentions of giving up. You want me to buy her a stable in Canmore? Then that's what I'll do."

Nate regarded him doubtfully. "That so? In any case, it's none of my business, really. It's Lanette you've got to convince."

"Well, thanks for the advice," Rob said. "I'll go out to the stable now to chat with Lanette, if that's alright with you."

"Of course. And...Rob?"

"Yes?" He stopped on the bottom step and turned, his shoulders rigid, not wanting to defend himself any more.

"I apologize if I was too hard on you. I do wish you luck with my daughter. We're...not easy people. I don't think you'll have a downhill job of it."

Rob's shoulders relaxed. "Maybe not easy, but surely worth knowing," he smiled.

Lanette rode back to the stable, having exhausted Malki and herself. _I don't think I have cried as many tears in my entire life, as I have since meeting Rob Langevin. Damn him! Why couldn't he have let me know he was coming? Now I've got a date with some cowboy from last weekend, and it doesn't appeal at all, now that Rob's here._

_But I don't want to be with him, either. I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into loving him, and I've got to get myself out of it. I have got to!_

"I hear you weren't expecting me," he said, and smiled at her as she rode into the stable yard. He'd decided a week ago that it would be best to continue as though nothing had happened.

"No," she said shortly, "I wasn't."

"I'm sorry about that. I guess I should have called...but I didn't want to give you a chance to say no." He caught her as she dismounted, turned her, kissed her dirty face.

"Mmmmm...you taste salty. And, you have a little, _je ne sais quoi_ , a little, how do you say, dirtiness?" Lanette almost laughed in spite of herself. "Mmmm..." He continued to kiss her, and then started to lick her face, especially where the tears had made tracks through the dust. She tried to remember her fury. She tried to remember all the reasons she couldn't love him, that they couldn't be together. But it was impossible to remember anything, to think. She sighed.

"Were you crying for me, baby?" he asked, his voice deep. "I wish we'd stop making each other cry..."

_You've cried over me?_ she wanted to ask, but her pride wouldn't permit her.

Malki, jealous, suddenly pushed her, hard, from behind with his nose. "Malki! Oh, Malki. I'm sorry," she said to Rob, "I should have introduced you. This is my pride and joy, Melchizedek."

"Malki Tzedek? Do you rent him out to stud?"

"Yes. How did you know?" she asked, amazed that he might have heard of her horse, even that he might know something about horses.

He shrugged. "One of my clients was bragging to another about having had her mare bred by him...I just remembered the unusual name, that's all." He followed her into the stable, where she had begun to rub down Malki.

_He's so easy to be with,_ Lanette thought. _He's not what I need,_ she reminded herself.

"I brought us a picnic," he said. "I thought, after that, maybe we could go dancing."

"Can't," she said, miserable, embarrassed. She grabbed some crunchies from the bin and fed them to Malki while she rubbed his nose.

"Excuse me?"

"I can't." Steadily, she looked at her horse, not at Rob.

"Why not?"

"I've got another date." She led Malki out to the pasture and let him go.

Rob grabbed her shoulder, and forced her to face him. "What? I drive all the way out here from Canmore, and you've got another date?"

"I didn't know you were coming!" she yelled.

He took a deep breath. "I suppose that's true. This is impossible. Cancel it."

"I won't do that."

"Why not?"

"I've already given my word."

"Damn you! Your word. What about your body? What about your heart? Did you give them to this yahoo, too? Am I just one of dozens?"

She looked at him, stony-faced. "I don't break my word."

He blew his breath out. "Fine. When is this dancing date?"

"He's picking me up in town at seven thirty."

Rob looked at his watch. "Seven thirty? Fine. That gives me about six hours. Plenty of time." He waited until she finished closing the stall, then scooped her up and over his shoulder, and began taking long, purposeful strides out of the yard.

"Ayipe! What are you doing?" she squawked from her upside-down position on his shoulder.

"We're going for a picnic, darling."

"But...I'm filthy. I haven't even had a shower yet."

"I'll wash you, then," he promised, and her body reacted to the memory of the last time he'd done that, to the marvellous languorous happiness she had felt. "But it doesn't matter to me...you're delicious this way, too." He arrived at his truck, and, with her still over his left shoulder, he opened the passenger door. He wrapped both arms around her legs just below her bottom, and lifted her gently, slowly, off of his shoulder and into the seat of the truck.

"I'm so glad you're not resisting," he said into her neck, where somehow his lips had ended up in the lifting maneuver. He ran his hands down her ribcage to her waist and hugged her there as his lips made their way to hers. "Oh, Lanette," he murmured between kisses. "It's so good to see you. To hug you...to kiss you."

Lanette felt all her bones and her will melting, being shaped by this man. He released her and went around to the driver's side and her body felt cold where he had been, despite the heat of the day.

"Are you going to tell me about a good picnic spot, or am I going to have to find one for us, myself?"

_The Baker Homestead_ , she thought, remembering her many childhood hours spent there, playing in the shade of the trees they had planted and the little pond. She sighed. _I shouldn't be spending time with this man,_ she thought. _I can't control what happens with him. He's too dangerous._

He was waiting for her answer as the diesel engine idled. She sighed again. _But he's so delicious...we'll just have this one afternoon, and then I'll tell him we can't see each other anymore._ "Go out the driveway and turn right," she told him. "Can this truck handle a little off-road driving?" she teased.

"Honey, this truck can handle mountain roads, never mind these prairie fields."

"All right, then, you asked for it." She directed him down the road a ways, and then through a gate and into a field. "This might have been too muddy last week, but with all the sun we've been having lately, it should be dry enough."

He looked at her sharply. "Are you going to try to get us stuck?" he asked. "On the other hand..." he said musingly, "then we'd have to stay here overnight...I'm not worried about it."

"Rob!" she laughed. "We're still walking distance from the ranch. We could easily get a tractor to pull us out anyway, but I thought this was your mighty, invincible truck?"

"That's right, too. So we wouldn't get stuck in the first place. What a shame," he sighed.

"Here's the place," she said. "Turn left."

"Bizarre," he said. "This looks like a proper driveway, out in the middle of all this grass."

"It used to be a proper driveway," she said. "This is an old homestead left over from the turn of the century, when so many people immigrated here to try to make a new life of it. Unfortunately, most of them didn't have a clue how to farm the dry prairie, and didn't make it."

"What happened to them?"

"Some of them died—hunger made their immune systems weak, and they lived so far from town. There were a lot of accidents, too—people who went out in winter storms and never made it home, for example. But most of them, eventually, just gave up and fled to the nearest towns, with nothing but the clothes on their backs, looking for work. They were rough times. Most of the trees you see hereabouts were planted by homesteaders. They're all that remains of most places. There are whole towns, some that were centers for thousands of people, that are nothing but bare fields, now."

"It's amazing. Was your family here back then?"

"You bet," she said with pride.

"They were lucky, I guess."

She turned on him, incensed. "It wasn't luck. It was skill, and intelligence, and determination. They were smart enough to learn about people in other dry farming areas, how things were done there. The three brothers that started my family in this area were savvy enough to travel to the dry areas in the States and get some real information, instead of just blindly following those arrogant Ontarian farming "experts," like the other stupid settlers did! Don't you dare dismiss my family's accomplishments as 'luck,' you ignorant easterner!" she jumped out of the truck, slammed the door, and walked angrily away, past the stand of trees.

Rob found her, sitting at the edge of a small pond, a few minutes later. He set down the picnic basket he was carrying, and sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry," he said, after a few minutes of silence. "I wasn't trying to insult your family, Lanette. I've never had a history like this...to care so deeply about as you do, yours. I was wrong to be so flippant."

"And I feel terrible," she replied. "The settlers that failed weren't stupid, they just didn't know any better than to listen to what they were told...the disaster was the fault of the arrogance of the easterners that came out here, calling themselves "experts," bossing the new immigrants around, telling them the wrong methods...it was the fault of the get-rich-quick land agents from Toronto, who wanted to make money more than they wanted to develop an irrigation system and see this land really prosper."

"Not all Ontarians are like that, Lanette."

"All of the ones I've met, are—materialistic, city-minded. They don't know anything about caring for the land."

"Do you think I'm like that, too, Lanette?"

"You can't change your roots," she said quietly.

"Lanette, I don't even know what my roots are. I've never met my father. Maybe he was a farmer, for all I know. Maybe he was even an Albertan."

"You never met your father?"

"Nope," he said laconically. He hadn't thought he could be hurt about that, anymore. But he had been wrong. _Why didn't you marry my mother, so I'd be good enough for Lanette?_ He demanded of his unknown father. The thought made him angry. "And my mom didn't have anything to say about him. Does that matter to you?"

"Didn't she tell you anything?"

He blew out his breath in frustration. "No, she never told me anything, and after a while I stopped asking. She's dead now, so I can't ask," he answered, brutally, bluntly.

"Oh," she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry. Anyway, he couldn't have been an Albertan. An Albertan wouldn't have abandoned your mother."

Rob looked at her incredulously. "What planet are you from, Lanette? Life isn't perfect out here, any more than it is anywhere else. You think none of these prairie men ever beat their wives? You think there are no illegitimate children out here? Get real."

Lanette lie down close to the earth, hoping it would give her strength. Somehow, sitting up just took too much energy, left too big a surface for him to attack. _He must be right,_ she thought. _I never realized how stupid I've been...are all my ideas that dumb?_

"You're right. That was incredibly stupid of me," she admitted after a long while. "I don't know what I was thinking. Now I guess we're even, since we've insulted each other's families."

Rob laid down beside her and pulled her into his arms for a healing hug. "What is it with us, huh? Why do we keep fighting? I don't want to fight with you, Lanette, I just want to love you."

Lanette struggled out of his arms, out of the peaceful warmth that she craved even as she left it. "Let's eat lunch. I'm starved. What have you brought?"

Rob sat up, too, forcing himself not to pull her back in his arms, where she'd felt so good. _Allow her some space._ He reminded himself of Brad's advice. _Give her some time to digest._

He forced his voice to be cheerful. "I'm hoping to get to your heart through your stomach." He pulled out a red and white tablecloth with a flourish.

Lanette laughed. "That's so stereotypical!"

"But nice, right?" he asked, and she nodded. He began to take containers out of the basket, until a feast had been laid out. "I hope you like middle eastern food," he said. "Do you want to open the containers?"

"Can I?"

"Sure. I'm going to give you the travel agent's quiz on their contents."

"Oh." She opened the first container. "Pita bread!"

"Well, that one was easy."

She opened the next container. It contained a beige paste. "Hummus!" she said triumphantly.

"NNYAA," he buzzed. "Wrong-o. Keep going, maybe you'll figure it out."

She opened another container. "Tomatoes! How did you get such beautiful ripe ones in this season?"

He blushed. "Actually, I grow my own."

"You've got a greenhouse?" she asked incredulously.

"No, just a little solarium off of the kitchen."

"Wow. I can't wait," she declared, and popped a slice in her mouth immediately. "Delicious," she proclaimed.

He leaned forward and licked the tomato juice from her lips. "Mmmm...very delicious," he purred.

She pushed him away, willing her heart to stop pounding. She opened the next container. "Tzatziki."

"Right. Home-made by me."

"Hmmm...some kind of relish."

"Hot lime pickle. I have to admit, it came from a jar. I also admit, it's not really middle eastern...it's more Indian. I just like the combination."

She opened another container, this one with curry pickles, and then one with plump-looking dark olives. In the last container she discovered another beige paste. "Is this one hummus?" she asked, less sure of herself than before.

"Yes. Can you figure out what the first one was?" She shook her head. "Baba Ganoush," he said. "Eggplant dip."

"Mmmmm...I love eggplant. But..." she stopped.

"But...what?"

"Nothing, just a stupid legend."

"Come on, tell me," he coaxed.

"I just...remember hearing, while I was in Jordan, that eggplants make you pregnant. Of course they don't."

"Maybe they do. Eat lots of this, then," he said. She raised startled eyes to his face. "I would love to see you pregnant," he said, softly, looking into her eyes, at her mouth. She felt hypnotized, as she watched his mouth come nearer, and nearer. She shook her head.

"Rob, we've got to have a talk."

He looked disappointed. "Not before we eat," he said.

She wasn't eager to spoil the mood, as she knew she must, so she agreed. _One romantic meal together, just one for the memories. Then I'll tell him._

It was an idyllic meal. He fed her olives, one by one, watching her mouth as she delicately removed the pits. He made her little sandwiches of hummus and tomatoes and lime pickles, and teased her that he hoped that the spice would make her feel erotic again, as it had in Calgary. She scooped the baba ganoush on the pita triangles and teasingly fed it to him, refusing to eat any herself until he tumbled her over and kissed her into submission, then force-fed it to her laughing mouth while she was still weak.

They drank hot, milky spice tea in ornate cups "Another Indian addition," he apologized. But the tea was delicious and she didn't have any complaints.

Finally, they had eaten their fill. Rob started putting the containers back away in the basket, and she laid on her stomach on the still-brown grass. Lanette was reluctant to start the conversation that she knew she must. "Look! There are little green sprouts coming through."

Rob laid down beside her to look. "So there are." They watched the grass grow for a while.

"It's so nice and hot," Lanette said drowsily, "but it's still too early for the mosquitoes to be out. These early spring days are such a treat."

"Especially when I'm with you," Rob said.

"Oh, Rob, don't start getting romantic. Oh, we have to talk," she said sadly.

"Not until after dessert," he said.

"Dessert? I'm too full." she stated.

"That's okay..." he said, rummaging around in the basket. "You'll be hungry, soon enough."

"Honey?" she asked, when she saw the jar he held.

"Yes, darlin'. Honey. And you." He rolled her over on her back and straddled her hips, holding her down. He began to unbutton her shirt.

She felt a rush of warmth as she realized his intentions. "You can't mean to..."

"Why not? It's warm enough, and there aren't any mosquitoes," he reminded her, never pausing in his task.

"Ohhhh...but..." She had lost her ability to form a coherent thought. He finished unbuttoning her shirt, and eased her arms out of it, smoothed it away from her skin.

"Don't worry. I promise I'll wash you later," he breathed, as he picked up the honey spoon and drizzled lines down her rib cage. "Oh, Lanette, you are so beautiful..." he began to lick up the lines of honey, from the top of her jeans to the bottom of her bra, and she felt electricity crackling through her like lightning. She yearned for him to go further, to take off her bra, her jeans.

"Rob, oh Rob," she moaned, as her stomach arched up to meet his mouth. Her fingers dug into the tablecloth beneath her. "Please..." she whimpered.

"Please what? Love you? I do, Lanette, I do. God, you must know that." Finally his hands moved to her jeans, unbuttoning them, sliding them off with her boots. She felt completely, utterly mindless, but when he came back within her reach, she sat up, unbuttoned his shirt, slid it off his shoulders. Unable to help herself, she nipped the beautiful curve of muscle there.

"Where's that honey?" she murmured, and, turning the tables on him, picked it up, pushed him down on his back, and drizzled the honey over his chest. "It's a lucky thing you're not very furry," she said, and started to lick up the mess she'd made, with strong laps of her tongue, just the way he'd done to her.

He groaned, and she loved the sound. "Lanette." He sucked in a breath and it moved his stomach, where she was busy lapping the ridges of muscle. "Stop, honey, it's too good." he begged. She ignored him. "Lanette!" he said urgently.

"Really?" she questioned, loving her new power. She unbuttoned his jeans, slid them off, running her hands down the whole length of his legs, pausing a moment to wiggle his boots off. She regarded her handiwork. "Not enough," she decided, and slid his underwear off, too. "Mmmm...you are hungry, aren't you?" she teased. "And after such a big lunch, too." Fascinated, she brought the honey spoon near and spilled some on his manhood.

"Lanette..." he groaned. His hands buried themselves in her hair, still confined to her braid, as he felt her start to lap up the sticky honey.

"Oh, nooo..." he cried, as she enclosed him with her mouth.

"Oh, yes," she argued, when she pulled back to reach for more honey. She spilled some more on him and began to lap it up again, and felt an enormously warm rush of satisfaction when she finally pushed him over the edge.

He lay quietly for a while, and she watched him hungrily, her eye tracing every line of his face, every muscle of his torso. Suddenly, he sat up and flipped her before she had a chance to react. "God, Lanette, do you always have to be in control?" he demanded, as he undid her bra. "I wanted to do that to you...I had such plans. Why can't you just let me..." His words trailed off as he leaned down to take her breast in his mouth.

"Look at this. There you are, still in your underwear. You disgrace me, my love."

"No, Rob."

"Yes, you do. I'm just going to have to redeem myself..." He poured honey in a figure eight over her bare chest. "You always want to be in control. But you can't always be. You're going to have to learn to trust me..." His tongue descended to her body and she felt again that warm fire burning, burning through her. She gasped as he reached for the honey again and drizzled it lower, lower...by the time he'd licked it all away, she was reaching for him, reaching for his body and the fulfillment she was learning it could give her.

Finally, finally, when she thought she would die with the tension, she felt him filling her, sliding home, completing her. _I love you...I love you,_ she thought, and wept with it.

Later, he rose and went to the truck. He came back with a spare T-shirt, and went to the muddy little pond to wet it.

Lanette rolled over to watch him, admiring the play of his muscles in the sun as he moved. "We used to swim in that pond when I was a kid...but when the water level's higher. I hope we get some more rain, or the crops are going to have a tough time of it."

He smiled. "Always the ranch girl. As long as I've got enough water to wash you, I'm happy. I did promise to wash you, didn't I?"

"Mmmm..." she said, as he dragged the wet T-shirt thoroughly over her body, removing all the traces of honey and dust that lingered. That wonderful, cherished feeling came over her again. "You are the most wonderful man," she said.

"When are you going to marry me?" he asked, and she tensed.

"Oh, Rob..."

He sighed. "Too soon again? But Lanette, honey, how can you not know we're right for each other? What is there to wait for?"

"Rob...it's not a matter of timing. You're just not what I'm looking for. I can never marry you...you're not what I want, what I need. But I am so fond of you...you are a wonderful person. I don't want to lose you. Can't we just stay friends?"

He stood up. "You are obscene!" he railed at her. "How can you make love to me like that, and then suggest such a thing?" He looked at her in horror, and the pain she saw in his eyes made her want to weep. Her pride would not allow it. _I'm doing the right thing...I'm doing what I must._

"What kind of a monster are you, Lanette Scott?" he whispered. He turned away, shoulders bowed, then swung back to glare at her. "Do you honestly believe any other man will make you feel this way? Do you?"

She stared back. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know how any other man will make me feel. I just know, I can't lose...this," she said miserably, proudly, sweeping her arm to encompass the prairie.

"You're unbelievable. You call others materialistic with a sneer in your voice...well, it takes one to know one, doesn't it? Just because I don't own a thousand acres, I'm no good for you. Or is it my pedigree that's not good enough?" he demanded.

"No, Rob," she tried to stay calm, forced the tears not to fall. "It's not that, it's not you, it's a way of life...my way of life. I could never live in town, I could never give up my horses..."

"Well, I hope thinking of Malki keeps you warm at night," he sneered. "Because I sure as hell won't!" Angrily, he pulled his clothes on. She stood, mute, wishing the earth would swallow her, that the huge gaping hole inside her would somehow heal.

"Well? Aren't you going to get dressed? You've got to make your precious date with a cowboy, after all." He finished packing up the remains of their picnic, their lovely, beautiful picnic, and stomped off to the truck.

Silently she focussed all her energy on the effort it took not to cry, pulled her clothes on, and followed him to the truck.

Lanette's parents watched Rob's truck pull into the drive beside Lanette's little green Saturn. They watched Lanette jump out of the passenger side, slam the door, and hurriedly get into her own car. She started it, then Rob was there, yanking the door open, pulling her out, kissing her. They yelled at each other, their body language tense, and Lanette got back in her car and drove away.

"Well, Melba," Nate sighed, "it looks like our little girl is going to be moving to Canmore."

"I guess so." They stared for a while.

"Her children will come back to us," Melba said suddenly.

"Rob told me it's not that far away."

"Do you think we should ask him in to dinner?"

But they were too late. The big blue truck had already pulled away.

# Chapter Six

"You did what?" her mother demanded.

"It was the right thing to do." Lanette's voice was stiff. "It was impossible. He's nothing of what I was looking for."

"Oh, Lanette..." Melba sighed. "Your ideas of "right" and "wrong" are so confused, so skewed. Isn't it right to be happy? Doesn't he make you happy?"

"But how long would that last, Mom? When I'm away from Malki and the wild things..."

"When is the last time you were in Canmore, Lanette? There are plenty of wild things there. You haven't even seen his place!" Melba insisted. "You've assumed he lives in a little apartment because you don't think his job pays much, but what if you're wrong?"

"Oh."

"Yes, oh," her mother pressed. "I thought he was a very nice man, Lanette. And tall enough for you, too...he must have been at least six foot four. There aren't many guys taller than you are. And he had enough guts to haul you over his shoulder when you were acting like a brat...Lanette, I think he's just what you need."

Lanette sighed. "It doesn't matter, now, Mom. I really made him angry on Saturday. He probably isn't interested, anymore, anyway."

Melba looked pained. "Well, I don't doubt that, Lanny. You would anger a saint, when you get stubborn. But, you know, I really believe he loves you...oh, I know that I only met him for a moment, but he had such conviction in him, such a sure, unapologetic way of telling me he'd asked you to marry him..."

Lanette gasped. "He told you that?"

"Yes, dear. He seems like a very straightforward and honest man...two things you have always said that you admire."

Lanette was silent for a while, contemplating this.

"But maybe he was too straightforward and honest for you, is that it?" her mother continued. "He managed to ruffle the feathers of the undisputed Queen Of Feather Ruffling."

"Mom!" Lanette protested, beginning to feel teary. _I hate it when my family calls me "queen" of all things bad..._ it brought back so many memories of childhood teasing, of her brother's taunts and cruelty.

"Well, Lanette, you might not like it, but it's true. You have ruffled a lot of feathers in your time, disappointed a lot of men...I, personally, am pleased with Rob for disrupting you. Maybe he's the only man blunt enough to get through to you. Good. Somehow he's not in awe of you, like the others have been. He's got enough guts to get past that ego of yours...built up by having far too many male admirers over the years. Yes, Lanette, you can have any man that you want, but if you're honest, I bet you'll find that the only man you really want is Rob Langevin." Her mother, having said her piece, mounted the horse she'd been saddling.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going away to cool down. This excitement is raising my blood pressure. I've rarely tried to tell you what to do over the years, Lanette—maybe I should have done so more often. I hope you'll think on what I've said, now."

"So, Lanette," her uncle Will asked her, over the smoke billowing up from the calf's hide as her father branded it, "Where's that young man of yours? I was looking forward to meeting him."

"I'm, uh, not seeing him anymore, Uncle Will."

Will shook his head. "That's a shame. He sure sounded like a nice feller to me. What happened?" Will was astonished to see tears form in his niece's eyes.

"Hup!" he said, as they let the calf out of the chute and he ushered it back to its mother. Lanette occupied herself preparing the syringe to inoculate the next calf. _Life will go on,_ she thought. _I will get over him...it's just going to take some time._ She struggled to banish the tears that had formed in her eyes. _It's not the end of the world._

_Or is it, actually, the end of my pleasure in my world? Why am I not enjoying this branding day, as I usually do? How can this activity, which I have always thought of as so close to the roots, the essence, of life, seem so empty?_

"How did you hear about him, anyway? Has _everybody_ been talking about me?" she asked him later, when they were sitting down to rest and share a cup of coffee on some straw bales outside the barn.

"No, nobody's mentioned a thing. I talked to him on the phone, when he was calling around, looking for your number."

"What do you mean?" Lanette was startled.

"You know, that time he was supposed to come out here on a Saturday, and he had to cancel. He didn't have your number, and something came up real late at night, I guess. He must have called me about, oh, nine o'clock."

Will finished downing his coffee, and picked up a piece of straw to chew on. "I sure admired his tenacity. Thought it was kind of strange how you hadn't given him your own number, mind you." He looked sharply at the niece that had always been so much like him. "So what happened? And tell me the truth, now, with no dodging."

Lanette sighed. She wasn't afraid to tell Uncle Will. He'd understand. "I sent him away."

"Oh? Why was that?"

"He just wasn't the right guy, that's all. He didn't know a thing about cows or horses. He was just a city kid." _Are you lying, Lanette?_ she demanded of herself. _How do I actually know that he doesn't know? Did I give him a chance? No,_ she was forced to admit, _I didn't._

Will's glance penetrated deep, and Lanette felt shamed. "If he weren't the right guy, then why are there tears in your eyes? I ain't seen tears in your eyes since you were twelve and your brother went and shaved your 4-H calf to ruin your chances in the show. And those were tears of frustration, not real sorrow." He shook his head slowly. "You ain't bein' entirely honest with me, Lanette."

"Oh, Uncle Will. He's a handsome guy, sure. And I did get a little crazy about him. But he lives in Canmore. You know how expensive it is out in the mountains...I'd never have a ranch of my own, out there."

"Are you sure about that? What about that horse stable you were wantin' to start up, how is that going?"

"I'm getting there. I think maybe soon I'll have enough for a down payment, so I could buy a place if I took out a mortgage. But that's calculating on the prairie prices, not out where the land values are being pushed up by all those city people wanting to buy. And besides, I don't even think there is much private land around there. Doesn't it mostly belong to the Parks?"

"So, you don't _think_ you could make a go of it," Will mused. "But do you actually _know_ it's impossible? Have you really tried? It seems to me that you've been doing a lot of assuming and thinking yourself out of it before you even know the facts."

"But..."

He cut her off. "I gotta tell you a story, Lanette. A story I ain't told too many people."

A shout went up from the corral, and the two realized they were needed again for the second bunch of spring calves to be branded, tagged, inoculated, and castrated, if they were male.

"I guess this story's got to wait...but this conversation isn't finished. Okay, Lanette?" She looked into the face of the man she'd grown up adoring, at the determination and honesty that matched her own, indeed, that she'd patterned herself after.

"Okay, Uncle Will."

They went back to their duties, Lanette to the syringes, and Will to chase the calves through the chute towards the head gate that would hold them still while they received the necessary treatments. Most of Lanette's concentration was consumed by the adrenalin-filled task, but she wondered as she worked, _what could Uncle Will have to tell me? It seems like he's had a secret..._ she had never seen the heavy expression of disappointment on his face, that he had worn during their talk over coffee. She was glad when they finished that batch of a hundred, and her father called the lunch break.

She and Will gathered their traditional meals of steak, beans, and coleslaw, and walked away from the others, back to the barn's straw bales to sit.

Will sliced off some steak and put it in his mouth, chewing contemplatively. He ate in silence for a while, and to Lanette it seemed as if he was gathering strength for something that was going to be tough to do. "Seems to me, this young man is important to you. Do you love him? Straight up, now."

Lanette flushed. "I guess I do love him. But I'll get over it, in time."

"That so?" he asked skeptically. "I got to tell you, niece, I once thought the same thing...about thirty years ago. And I haven't got over it yet."

"But, Uncle Will! You're so happy here. You've always been my vision of the ideal cowboy."

He laughed, a harsher sound than she'd ever heard this gentle man make. "Ain't that true enough! I'm just like one of those stupid movie cowboys, missing out on the girl in favour of my horse. I'll tell ya, girl, it's a lonely life. I wouldn't want to see you waste yours in the same way."

"I never thought you were wasting, Uncle Will...ranching is one of the best things a person can do with their life. A life in the city would be wasted, if you ask me," she said fiercely.

"It's true there's a lot of satisfaction to working the land, Lanette. But I'll always wonder...if I could have had more." Lanette was silent, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"There was a girl, once. I met her at the Stampede, when I used to show those prize bulls I used to breed..." He sighed. "She was a lovely girl. Lacey, was her name. Anyway, I started to court her. Just a little. I couldn't help myself, she was so darn lovely. I even managed to find myself a job in the city that summer, so I could be near enough to see her. Worked it out with my pa so I didn't have to do so much here at home, promised to help pay for an extra hand to do what work I wasn't doing...Well, one day, when we were sitting there in the picture theatre, she slipped her little hand in mine and says to me, 'I love you, Will.' Well, I didn't have it all thought out yet. I hadn't been thinking, I was just feeling, just having a good time, you know?" Lanette nodded. _It sounds exactly the same as what I was like at first,_ she admitted.

"Well, I didn't know what to say! I loved her, of course I loved her! But admitting it, well, that would have meant some kind of commitment, marriage, maybe, a life together. I wanted it, I just hadn't thought enough about it yet. It was too soon. I probably hurt her real bad." Lanette was astonished to see a tear coming out of her idol's eye, and she was surprised to see that she was crying, herself. "God knows, I hurt myself," he whispered.

"So what did you do?" She needed to know.

"I couldn't sit in that picture theatre beside her anymore...I just, kinda, got up and went out. And then I was so embarrassed with myself for havin' such bad manners...I sent her flowers, but I didn't get up the guts to go back and apologize myself, to beg her to forgive me and be mine...You know, Lanette, I don't think there's a day I don't regret not having tried harder with Lacey. I'd always kinda thought I'd marry a country girl, so I didn't give Lacey a chance when I should have. Now I haven't married anyone."

His far-sighted blue eyes pierced Lanette. "It looks to me like you're doing the same thing to yourself that I did. And it ain't good."

Lanette took a deep breath, and put her barely-touched plate aside on the straw bale beside Will's. "So what are you suggesting I do, then?"

"I think it's clear. You're gonna have to go after him, and see what you can do to patch things up."

"Maybe what I feel isn't as deep as what you did for Lacey. Maybe I can still get better."

He laughed in a short bark. "You make it sound like you're sick. Well, I guess you're not far off, that is kinda what it feels like, ain't it?"

She smiled ruefully. "Yeah." They sat quietly for a while, then finally picked up their plates and ate a little. "You never went back to see her again?" she asked.

"I did finally get up the nerve to go see her the next summer...but

she wasn't at the same place, and there was no forwarding address." He looked sad. "Love's kind of like the rodeo sometimes, like roping a calf. If you aren't quick enough to catch it on the first go-round, sometimes you'll never catch it at all."

Lanette nodded, catching his meaning exactly—if she wanted Rob, it had better be soon, or it might not be at all.

_But do I want him?_ she wondered. _Because once I give even a tiny inch, I don't think there will ever be any going back..._ she looked around the barn where she'd grown up. _I'll go for a ride on Malki. That should clear my head._

_Dear Rob,_

_It's not my intention to interfere, but I'm feeling crazy over the situation with Lanette and I wanted to send you a note, to do something while Lanette is being so infuriatingly inactive. I know she has behaved abominably towards you, and, well, as someone who loves her and wants her to be happy, I would like to explain a little to you._

_I've never seen her so happy, so rosy, so obsessed with a guy as she was just after hearing your voice on the telephone...it sounds strange, but I knew then that she was in love. I also had an idea that there was going to be trouble..._

_Lanette has grown up, to put it bluntly, always believing she was right. It's not that her parents spoiled her, because certainly she has always worked hard around the ranch...I think that maybe it was the hard work, itself, that developed this pride in her, this stupid indomitable pride._

_It's pride and dogmatism that are keeping her from you now. Before Lanette was even out of high school, she decided she would marry a rancher. She decided on the life she wanted to lead. It seems strange to me that she set this goal so firmly, yet she has been off travelling the world for years. She should have taken the hint by now that maybe she has been chasing the wrong goals, when she has held herself so far away from them, but somehow, she feels that she must live the same life her grandmother did. She has dated country boys by the dozen, but has never come close to her goal of marrying any of them or settling. There were several who would gladly have had her, and even a few who asked. She never got mad at any of them asking before...not until you._

_That's how I know she wants to marry you...because she's so upset. Although it seems she has fought with you, I know she's battling even harder inside herself...to hang on to what she always thought was right, to what she always thought her life would be._

_It seems crazy, ludicrous, shameful, that she should turn you down so summarily, before she even came with you to Canmore, to see how you live, to see if she could live there. It's my opinion that my friend, who has never been afraid of anything, is more afraid than she has ever been in her life. I think it's because she knows, deep down, that things have got to change, and she can't convince herself that it's okay if they do._

_If her parents and I and the people she work with had a choice, we'd bundle her up and send her to you to force her to work things out. Alice tells me that she is a completely bad-tempered bear at work, and she can hardly say anything to Lanny these days without getting her head bitten off. But it has always been this way, with Lanette...we can't tell her what to do. We just have to wait until she works it out for herself. It scares all of us that her dogmatic, rooted side might win out and keep her here, tied to the dusty prairie, when we all wish she would come to you. It's not inconceivable that she would make the wrong decision...ancestors of hers certainly have._

_Once she does form a relationship, like the one she has with me, she's as stalwart as a mountain. I know that if she finally gives in to her heart, you'll have her, unreservedly, forever. Maybe it's because she's so completely, irreversibly loyal, that she's afraid to fall. In fact, those of us around her can see that she already has fallen. It's just a matter of her owning up to the fact._

_I wouldn't blame you a bit if you've already decided that she's more trouble than she's worth. I guess what I am trying to say, is, well, I hope you won't give up on her, and, that if it's any consolation, she's suffering badly. I hope you haven't found my intrusion, when I haven't even met you, too rude._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Jane Parker_

Rob put down the letter.

"Who's the letter from, Rob?" Colin asked. Colin, irrepressible, enthusiastic Colin, who was constantly around the office, ostensibly working on the company's web page, since cracking those vertebrae...he'd wormed the whole Lanette story out of Rob one day, and wouldn't shut up about it, since.

Rob sighed. "It's from someone in Brooks, a friend of Lanette's, I gather. Trying to excuse her for not giving a damn, trying to explain it away..."

Colin snatched the letter from Rob, knowing he could get away with it, because Rob wouldn't rough-house with him while he was injured. Rob had been acting so defeated these days, so lacking in energy, that he didn't even look as though he cared that Colin was reading the letter, which, he quickly realized, was highly personal. Realizing he'd made a blunder, he decided the best thing to do was ride it out, carry on as he'd started.

"Says here that Lanette loves you."

Rob snorted. "Also says that it may never do me any good."

Colin looked to the letter again. "Well, maybe it says that, but I wouldn't be so pessimistic," he said. "Seems to me like you might still have a chance with her, if you can have a little patience."

"Patience, patience," Rob snorted. "To tell you the truth, Colin, I think I'm out of patience. I'm not so sure she's worth the effort any more." He swivelled away from the computer in his chair, and stood up. He looked out the window of the office, at the vast forests, the huge grey mountains of the place that he called home now.

"You know, Colin, I moved out here for the peace. To get away from the rat race, the stress in Toronto. And my life has been damn near perfect since I got here. It's been easy, guiding. The most fun job I've had in my life. And building the company up with you guys has been very satisfying—great. I love the community. But since that damn woman came along, I haven't been sleeping, and I can't even have my own thoughts to myself anymore!" he finished almost on a shout.

Colin looked at him, astonished. Rob was always the cool, level-headed partner.

"Geez, buddy, what are you going to do about it?"

"Not a thing! Not a damn thing," he yelled, and slammed his way out of office.

Finally, a month and a half after the day of the picnic, Lanette sent flowers.

_I'm sorry, I was wrong,_ she asked the florist to write on the card of the bouquet of roses she asked for (yellow, white and pink, but no red, definitely no red, she'd told the voice at the other end of the phone line). _Red would be admitting too much...maybe we can just start back as friends,_ she thought.

There was no reply.

_I guess that seals it,_ she decided after a week of no response. _He's probably got another girlfriend by now._

"Ken," she said casually one day when Alice was out of the office, "How would you like to take over that adventure tour in Canmore we signed up for? It's a hiking tour. You like hiking, don't you?"

Her boss looked pleased. "Gee, Lanette, I guess I wouldn't mind it. But why don't you want to go, anymore? I thought we had agreed it was your turn for a promo."

"Yeah, but," Lanette shrugged, and forced her voice to remain casual. "You know, I am just getting busy with the horses. Those three new colts Mom and Dad bought are eating up a lot of training time, and I don't feel like leaving them. I just thought you might like to make use of it, instead."

"Well, I suppose one of us should go and check this new company out," Ken said. "What weekend did you say it was?" Lanette told him, and he marked it on the calendar. "Sure," he said, and Lanette breathed a sigh of relief. "Done."

# Chapter Seven

"Nice try, Lanette," Alice accosted her when she walked into the office the next morning. "But Ken's not going on that trip for you. Honestly, I have never seen you act like such a coward, or seen you refuse to fulfill an obligation before..." Lanette's face flushed red.

"I'm busy with the new colts...and getting Malki ready for the big show."

"Horse pucky. You're afraid to face down your emotions. You're afraid to go see him and own up to your mistakes."

"I sent him flowers, Alice, and apologized. He never answered, so obviously he's not interested any more. Why create an awkward situation by going on the trip?"

"Maybe he thinks you could do better than a bunch of flowers. I think so, too. You didn't treat him very well at all, Lanette. You owe him an apology, at least, for being so callous."

"I wasn't being callous, I was just being honest about how I felt."

Alice snorted. "Feelings. You weren't even allowing yourself to feel. You were being dishonest with yourself, as well as him, then."

Lanette fumed, annoyed with Alice's comment, but not entirely sure that she was wrong.

"Are you still trying to pretend you're not interested in him?" she continued.

Lanette didn't reply, and Alice shook her head.

"Why are you so resistant? Go on this trip, and get him out of your system. You've been moping since the day you sent him away, anyway."

Lanette sighed. "Maybe you're right, Alice."

The other woman smiled faintly. "You don't have a choice, now, anyway. You owe it to the company. You said you'd go, and you will. You might have turned into a coward lately, but you're still not the kind of person to back down on her word."

The fateful day finally came, and Lanette was packed and ready to go. There had been no communication at all from Rob, just a standard reminder from the company of the kind of personal equipment to pack, and the details of the itinerary.

_Will he be glad to see me?_ she wondered. _Is he angry?_ On the long drive, she played through a dozen different scenarios in her mind. As she neared the mountains, the terrain became more hilly, more forested, and she began to anticipate the coming adventure. She crested Scott Lake Hill on the highway and the vista of the Rockies spread before her. She pulled off the road into an old truckers' turnout and got out of the car. Entranced, she walked forward, as if that could somehow bring her significantly closer to that enormous space between her and the mountains. Long yellow plains stretched, rolling, to where the grey peaks grew from the ground. _It's not as claustrophobic as I thought it would be. In fact, this valley is the biggest space I have ever seen..._

The mountains rising at the limit of the horizon stretched the space to include the sky, and standing at the top of the world as she was, she understood, suddenly, how much there was that she had never seen. Despite all of her travels, she had never wondered before about living in any of the other places she'd been, had never looked with serious intent at the details she saw now before her _._

_I always knew I would go back home, to my wide yellow prairie. I have always been so afraid of small places, but the mountains don't make the spaces small, after all...they just extend the space up, instead of flat._

She drove closer and closer to the mountains, until she began to feel them pulling her, coaxing her nearer. At the base of the mountains, she was so startled by the roadside signs that she stopped the car on the shoulder of the highway got out, walked back to re-read them.

_Horse ranches! There are horse ranches out here?_

Intrigued, she wished she could visit one for a closer look. But she looked at her watch and realized that she didn't have the time. She regretted now, that she had deliberately left herself little time to spare, not wanting to be the first one to arrive for the tour, afraid of the thought of being alone with Rob...

Her mind felt so full that it was empty as she drove into the Bow Corridor and the peaks swept up on either side of the road. It hurt to think, but the thoughts whirled around in her head regardless.

Her attention was caught by some sailboarders on a beautiful lake beside the road, and she pulled off to watch them. She got out of her car, leaned on the hood, and felt herself begin to shake with reaction.

_Why did I think it was impossible for me to live here? The colours are completely different from what I'm used to, of course, but I could get used to this. For a little while, anyway. Now I see there are stables, of course I could bring Malki with me. Uncle Will was right, I should have tried a little harder before giving up..._

_Was I wrong about Rob, too? Maybe everybody's right, maybe I never did give him a fair chance..._ She had to admit that life had not been much fun, of late, when she knew deep down that she'd done something wrong, missed something important. The other men she'd tried to date, to get her mind off Rob, seemed completely lackluster and uninteresting next to him. _Even if he's not the perfect man I always thought I wanted, Alice has a point. I should just give this relationship its time in my life, anyway. Let it run its course, burn itself out._

_But what if I give it a chance, and it does not burn itself out?_ The idea was too wonderful, too terrible, and she pushed it aside.

Her troubled thoughts were soothed by the wind, the wind she knew so well. _The wind is the same, here. The wind would come with me, if I moved. It's less dusty, of course, and cooler, coming off the tops of the mountains, but it would take messages home for me, until I went home myself._

_Until I went back myself? Or forever?_

She shook her head at her own fanciful thoughts. _Thinking of the wind carrying messages for you. I think you're going around the bend, Lanny girl._

She got back into her car and followed Rob's instructions to the tour company's parking lot, where they would leave their cars and board a bus. When she arrived at the parking lot, there were a group of people already there, as she had hoped there would be. But her traitor eyes weren't still until they found Rob, crouched beside a woman and her pack, the two of them talking with their heads together. Jealousy stabbed her gut, surprising her. She ignored it and turned a warm smile to the young man approaching her.

"Hi, I'm Joe. Are you Lanette?"

"Yes, I am."

"That's good then. Rob!" he called across the lot, "we're all here now!"

Rob didn't even raise his head. "Good," he said, and continued his conversation with the woman sitting so closely beside him.

Joe's eyebrows perked up, then he shrugged and turned to Lanette. "Well, let's just run a double check of your equipment, and then we'll be able to get on the road."

Rob saw her coming. He was aware of her little green car the instant it pulled into the lot, had been waiting for it since he woke up. He glimpsed her dark head through the window, and felt a stab in his gut. It only firmed his resolve. _I had finally found the peace I wanted in my life, and now she's come along and wrecked it._ He was angry with her. _Even when she's not trying to, even when she's not thinking of me, she wrecks things...casually sending me flowers, as if I'm some business acquaintance who needed a little apology or a thank-you...and then, coming along on this trip. It's probably just a nice little vacation for her,_ he thought. _Look how calm, how competent she looks! Her equilibrium's sure as hell not upset. So why should mine be?_ he demanded of himself, with frustration. He hadn't worked out a complete plan on how to get his peaceful life back, yet, but he was sure it started with ignoring that little hellion, Lanette.

Lena plaintively asked him some other question which he answered without really registering it. He fiercely evicted the tall brunette from his mind for the fortieth time that day and tried to turn his concentration back to making some reasonable semblance of order of Lena's pack. _This woman is such a pain in the neck!_

She had arrived carrying two duffel bags full of unnecessary items, and Rob had been tempted to refuse to take her along, since she obviously had no idea what she was getting herself into.

But, _This is your business, now, buddy,_ he reminded himself. _The customer is always right._ _And since she's a travel agent, she has the ability to send a lot of other customers your way...keep her happy._

So, he set his jaw and decided he'd take her anyway. _It'll be a good test of our company,_ he decided, _to see what kind of customers we actually can handle competently_. _Besides, maybe it will keep my mind off of Lanette..._

So now he had rounded up a spare backpack from their store room, and was trying to convince the silly twit that she could only take a third of what she'd brought, that she really didn't need five changes of clothes for a four-day trek, that there would be no electricity for her curling iron, anyway, and that the perfume she wanted to bring would only attract bears and mosquitoes.

It was an uphill battle, especially when he had to appear to be polite and accommodating while systematically convincing her of each item she had to leave behind, but he was close to finally getting her backpack arranged. _I'm just glad that Joe is doing so well handling everybody else without me._

The troubleshooter in him that had analyzed so many companies acknowledged that taking Lena along on this trip would be a rigorous troubleshooting exercise. Although it was obvious by her skin-tight clothing that she obviously saw herself as fit, he doubted that she actually had the fitness and stamina to be cheerful by the end of tomorrow's hike...it was going to be a long trip.

He accepted the fact that he was going to have to carry more of the communal gear in his own backpack to lighten her load and make the trip more pleasant for all of them. The camp stove and pots he had planned to have Lena carry would just have to find a place in his own pack, somewhere. As guides, he and Joe already carried more than his guests. _I can handle a little more,_ he told himself. He was beginning to realize that he would take on a lot, just to exhaust himself in an effort to keep his mind off of Lanette.

Rob seemed intent on ignoring her, so Lanette decided to make the most of her opportunity to meet the other members of the group. Joe, tall and blonde and muscular, was easy to get along with, and tempting to flirt with, just to tease Rob. She tried it for a minute or two, letting her laughter trill out over the parking lot, but Rob was so involved with the other woman that he didn't even notice, didn't even look up. She couldn't help admiring the lines of his back muscles through his T-shirt when she looked over to see if he was noticing that she was teasing him.

_How am I going to joke around with him when he won't even look at me?_ Lanette glared balefully at the other woman, hating her on sight. She was wearing skin-tight leggings and a close-fitting shirt, which showed every line of a slim body.

_I hope she gets blisters,_ Lanette thought, and then was ashamed of herself for doing so. She lifted her chin. _I guess I've got to wait in line if I want his attention._ Determinedly, she focussed on meeting the other members of the group.

She liked Carrie right away. She was fit and blonde and had a big smile that reached her eyes and welcomed friendship. Lanette realized that as Joe went over her equipment, Carrie's eyes went over Joe, so she decided flirting with him wouldn't be funny anymore. It was one thing to try to get Rob's attention, but it was another thing entirely to alienate another woman. She looked from Carrie to Joe and decided they would make a good-looking couple, both so tall and blonde and outdoorsy- looking. However, it didn't look, by their body language, like they had acknowledged that, yet. There was a kind of strained friendship about them, so that they were hearty and fun with each other on the outside, but the undercurrents were so strong that Lanette was sure that an underlying harmony of tension was audible in the friendly, cheerful tones of their voices.

Carrie worked at Kananaskis Lodge, one of the bigger resorts in the area, arranging activities for guests. Lanette could easily see why Blue & White Tours would want her good will...she could bring plenty of high-paying business their way.

Dave was a cheerful, wiry guy who worked for one of the local Chamber of Commerce offices. He was pedantically enthusiastic about the coming trip and everything in general and Lanette liked him right away.

Joe commended her on having done a great job of arranging a well-balanced backpack, and having left enough space for the communal gear—Lanette was to carry one of the three two-person tents. _I wonder who's sleeping with who? Carrie and Joe aren't quite comfortable enough around each other, so I don't think it's them...but there are six of us, and one of the tents will have to be co-ed..._

She had learned during the general conversation that there were to have been two more people along, a couple from Banff, but one of them had gotten ill last night and they both had pulled out at the last minute.

_I'm here to get Rob out of my system,_ she reminded herself. _I am going to do what I can to get in the same tent with him._ Her blood ran hot, and then cold, at the thought of sharing the small space of a tent with him, at her fantasies of seducing him there...

The first night, they were to camp near the base of the trail, to be ready for the hike into the rock face, which would take most of the next day. Finally the group was ready, and when all the backpacks were loaded into the van they would travel in, they gathered around the picnic table in the yard. Joe disappeared into the office and came back with a box of beer.

"All right, crew,' Rob said heartily. "Time for the pep talk."

"First, the beer, Rob! All that packing was thirsty work!" insisted Joe. He passed the bottles around.

"Hear, hear!" chimed in Dave and Carrie.

"Have you got any wine, Joe?" asked Lena, in a deep, well-modulated voice.

Everyone paused in the midst of opening their beer bottles. All eyes turned to Lena, then to Joe. Joe looked at Rob.

Rob answered Lena. "We're sorry, Lena, we didn't think of that..." he turned and spoke to the table in general. "But that's a good introduction to the first point I wanted to make...if you think of anything, at any time, that we could do to make our tours more enjoyable for you or other clients, please let us know...as you know, we're just starting up. So we're open to all suggestions you care to make."

Dave spoke up. "But weren't most of you guys working here, before?"

Joe answered him. "It's true. All of our guides actually worked for Blue & White's predecessor's—Alpine Adventures. But since the ownership changed hands, the company has decided to start with a new mandate, to try to extend the clientele and put a greater emphasis on customer service...that's why we're running these tours for you, the tourism professionals. We're really interested in your insights on what customers are interested in these days."

Lanette, Carrie, and Dave nodded their heads. Lena looked like she was still pouting a little. "Having said that, Lena," Joe continued, "would you like a beer? It's very good, locally brewed."

Her small nose wrinkled ever so slightly. "Er, no, thank you, Joe. Perhaps I could have a glass of water?"

"Of course." He started to stand, but Rob intervened.

"I'll get it." Lena looked at him soulfully, and Lanette wanted to scratch her. _Honestly,_ she thought cattily, _what a bore that woman is. How much work did it take to make her voice sound like that, pitched just so, practiced so perfectly, to make men fall to their knees?_

"Thank you, Rob," Lena said deeply to him when he came back with a glass of water from the office, and the smooth inflections of the woman's voice dragged across Lanette's nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. _At least I'm honest, I don't practice perfect voice inflections and wear skin tight clothes and act so_ obvious, _so desperate, chasing after men!_

_I'm jealous as hell,_ she acknowledged ruefully. _What if she and Rob are sleeping in the same tent? I'll just die._

Carrie, sitting beside her, nudged her in the ribs. "Don't worry about her," she whispered reassuringly.

_Am I being so obvious?_ Lanette thought, mortified, and realized that, indeed, she had been staring at the other woman.

Rob and Joe were now spreading maps on the picnic table, explaining where they would be hiking, where they would be camping, where the rock climbing face was in relation to the camp. Lanette allowed herself to be drawn into the group, let the excitement wash over her. _This is going to be fun._

Three hours later, she was walking down a gorgeous mountain path with Carrie. The group had started out together, but over time had spread out a little bit so they could all enjoy the mountain atmosphere more. Joe had assured them that the path to their camp was straightforward enough, and then he and Dave had forged on ahead, walking a little faster than Lanette and Carrie. Rob and Lena were bringing up the rear.

"So, you've got a thing for Rob, huh?" Carrie asked her as they moved up the path.

"So, you've got a thing for Joe, huh?" Lanette countered, and the two girls laughed. Lanette answered Carrie's question. "I guess I do have a thing for Rob, but I'm trying to get over it...I was hoping to get him out of my system with this trip."

"Uh-huh," Carrie responded skeptically. "How's it going?"

"Not very well, so far. Lena is just stuck to him like a limpet."

"She sure is," Carrie agreed. "You know, though, I think I feel sorry for Lena. She's so...desperate. I wonder what's made her so sad?"

"Who knows? But I still wish she'd let Rob go for a minute...I haven't had a word with him, yet. And I guess I have still got some apologizing to do."

"What for?" Carrie wanted to know.

"Well, I—" Lanette stopped. "What did I do, exactly?" she mused. "I guess, well, I guess I didn't give him enough of a chance. I don't know, really. I just know that I've been trying to get him out of my mind, and I can't, anyway, and everybody at home seems to think I should come here and somehow work it out."

"Oh." The girls walked on in silence for a while, enjoying the silence, the forest, and each other's company.

"So, what's between you and Joe, Carrie?"

"Oh." Carrie shrugged. "Nothing much, I guess. We've been friends for a long time. We've dated a couple of times since the tourism convention in Calgary, but it's nothing serious."

"Umm-hmmm." Lanette eyed her skeptically.

"Well, there isn't!" Carrie insisted. "He's just too much of a good-time boy, I think...or maybe I'm too much of a good-time girl!" she laughed. "No, really, Lanette, there's not much. Sure, I like him, we're friends and all, but I guess we both like our freedom too much to get tied down..."

"Sounds like a lot of protesting, to me," Lanette teased.

"Ah, well...sshhh! Leave me alone!" Carrie laughed. "Let's talk about important things—like, how are we going to pry Lena the Limpet away from Rob long enough for you to 'get him out of your system'?"

"Hmmm...now that's a good question. I was planning on being forthright with him, but it's pretty impossible to talk to him with her always around...I find her kind of repulsive, don't you?"

"Well, no, I don't. I can see what you mean, though...but I just find her, well, needy. I get the feeling that she's hurting inside."

"Maybe," Lanette sighed.

"What do you think they plan for sleeping arrangements?" Carrie asked slyly.

"I was wondering that myself," Lanette mused.

"Well, with the two drop-outs, there are only the six of us. That means there is going to have to be at least one co-ed tent..."

"So, how are we going to convince Rob that it should be him and me?"

Carrie thought on it for a while, then said, "Maybe we shouldn't convince him at all. Maybe I should just convince Lena that it's best for her to bunk with me."

"You'd do that for me?" Lanette asked.

"You bet I would, honey. For you and the cause of true, unrequited love..." Carrie sighed dramatically.

"If I weren't feeling so grateful, I might tell you to put a sock in it." Lanette warned. "How do you plan to pry the Limpet away long enough to convince her?"

"Ah...don't quite know yet. But trust me. I'll think of something."

"You know, Carrie, it's not normal for me to say this, but I think I _do_ trust you."

It was dark at last and the half-dozen of them had gathered around the camp stove. Open fires weren't allowed, but the atmosphere was warm and cozy in the group, anyway. They couldn't toast marshmallows, of course, without a fire, but they nursed tin cups of hot chocolate and nibbled on fruits and nuts from a bag of gorp that Joe had thought to bring.

Even better, Rob had pulled a harmonica from his pocket, and begun to play. The old-fashioned music was perfect among the trees, and Dave started out the singing by doing a funny old mountain song that Lanette had never heard before. Joe one-upped him with an even funnier song, and then Rob shushed them to play some old classics on the harmonica that everyone knew. He looked at Lanette ironically over the metal instrument as he started on "Home on the Range," and although she'd always loved that song, as she sang with the group, she wondered, was her home destined to be on the prairie range, as she'd always thought it was? Joe broke in with a second verse he'd made up, telling the group it was the Blue & White Tours version, which obviously substituted mountain range for prairie range.

_Home, home on the range_

_Where the bear and the moose do play_

_Where seldom is heard_

_A discouraging word_

_And the skies are cloudy part of every day._

The group laughed, and then joined in for the chorus again. Lanette wondered, _is that really all the difference there is here? That the animals are bear and moose instead of deer and antelope? That the weather's different? What have I been so worried about?_

Surprisingly, it had taken Carrie very little effort to convince Lena to share a tent with her. She had a word with Joe, too, and quickly it was arranged that Joe and Dave would sleep together. So Rob had been left with no alternative but to share the third tent with Lanette. They had set up camp with a minimum of interaction, it seemed, but Lanette had decided, now that they had the sleeping arrangements settled, she could afford to bide her time. She let him have his space. Talking would come later.

They lay side by side in the tent, cocooned in the darkness and the remnants of the warm, cozy, campfire atmosphere.

"Your harmonica playing reminds me of when my grandpa was alive," she said.

He didn't reply.

She tried again. "Thank you for playing tonight."

"Thank you for singing," he said.

"Oh, it's been such a long time...I'd forgotten I could."

"You can. You certainly can."

"So can you," she said softly, fondly reliving the harmony they'd made together singing _Annie's Song._ Their singing had been so in tune, so perfectly sure, together, that the other members of the group had dropped out to listen to the blending of Rob and Lanette's harmonious voices. "How is it that you know so many cowboy songs, when you're from the east?"

"I used to listen to a lot of old tapes when I was a kid. And I've picked up a lot of the local ones along the trail, since I got here."

"You must be an amazingly quick study."

"Lanette, could you please stop trying to point out how much you think I don't belong here? I'm getting pretty sick of it."

Lanette was mortified. "I didn't mean to..."

"No, but you always do. Look, you might not think I belong here, but a lot of other people, who don't share your high and mighty, "I-was-born-in-the-saddle" arrogance, really don't mind my presence so much. So could you just put a sock in it?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"I don't really want your apology, Lanette. I'd like your respect, but it seems like I'll never get it. So don't say you're sorry when you don't really mean it."

"Fine. I won't apologize again," she said stiffly. "But it is a shame I've given you such a dim impression of my character."

Silence reigned. It seemed neither had any more to say, didn't want to put their hearts out on the limb any more, didn't want to take the terrible risks that words seemed to create.

"We did make some beautiful music together," he admitted, after a while.

"Would you like to make love to me, Rob?" she asked boldly.

"Let me guess," he said bitterly. "No strings attached?"

"I...I'm not guaranteeing marriage."

He blew out his breath, and was silent again for a few minutes. She waited, nervous, for his answer. Finally, she couldn't stand the suspense anymore, and everything she'd wanted to say came out in a rush.

"I...I'm sorry I didn't give you enough of a chance, us enough of a chance. It's true that you're the most wonderful man I've ever known, that you've treated me better, mattered more..."

Her words were cut off suddenly as he rolled over to kiss her. The fever began to boil in Lanette's blood, and she was urgent, urgent, for his touch, his lips. His big hands swept over her body, under her sleeping bag, and she struggled out of it.

He emerged to lie on top of the sleeping bags, too, and her hands roamed his body freely, as they'd done in her memory every night for the months they had been apart. "Oh, Rob," she sighed, "why did I ever push you away?"

"I still haven't got it figured out, exactly," he said, "but it's got something to do with you thinking I'm not good enough for you." He didn't give her a chance to reply, as he swept away her thoughts with a thorough assault of her body with his hands and tongue, until she was moaning, then realizing she should be quiet so as not to be heard outside the tent. She bit her lip, but could not stop the occasional gasp at the sensations he was causing.

She was surprised when the time came and he reached for his jeans. Through the haze of her passion, some rationality broke through when she saw the foil packet in his hand.

"You were expecting this, too?"

"No...I was hoping to stay the hell away from you. But I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to. And I have no intentions of planting my child in a woman who doesn't want to be my wife."

Her heart ached. _What can I say to that? I'm not ready to commit to marriage._ But he wasn't waiting for an answer, anyway, and soon they were both swept away on the rhythms of the storm inside their tent...

"We shouldn't have been doing this in a tent...the scent attracts bears."

"Really?" Lanette asked.

"Oh ho!" he smirked. "I thought you knew everything about the outdoors. Are you saying that I, a mere city boy, might know something about the wilderness that you don't?"

"Was I wrong about you, Rob?"

"What do you think?"

"I think I was. I think I must have been..." She felt so calm and content in the aftermath, that she didn't want to think of it. She owed Rob a handful of explanations, but they would come later. _For now, I just want to enjoy this peacefulness between us..._

"Anyway, I don't think we have to worry about the bears," he said. "I checked with the park wardens before we came out, and there aren't supposed to be any in this area right now."

"Oh. That's good."

"We've got a lot of talking to do, huh, Lanette?"

"I guess so, Rob. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No, maybe you didn't. But you still don't think I'm good enough for you."

"It's not that..."

"We'll talk about it another time, okay, Lanette? Let's just get some sleep."

Lanette snuggled against him, with his arm under her head. She stayed quiet, as he had asked, but the thoughts continued to swirl around in her head. _It's true I feel good right now...better than I've felt without him. But surely it can't last. How long will it take to get this out of my system?_

_What if I can't ever get him out of my system?_ she worried. The thought scared her, and she pushed it aside. _Maybe I could move out here for a few months...on a temporary basis. I don't think this one weekend is going to be enough to get him out of my system._

She mulled over the options for a while, until the sighing of the trees outside the tent lulled her to sleep.

# Chapter Eight

She opened her eyes to see a room covered in green tent fabric, and a smile creased her lips. She turned her head to see that Rob was already awake. "Good morning, Rob," she said, her voice soft and husky with sleep.

"Mornin'," he grumbled, not meeting her eyes. He groped around the tent for his clothes and started pulling them on.

"What, no good morning kiss?" she asked, hurt.

He leaned over impatiently and smacked her one on the mouth. Her lips tingled, craving more, but obviously, he was not. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing."

"You weren't this grouchy the last time I woke up with you."

He snorted cynically. "Nope. I was feeling pretty happy, then. Happy and stupid. Asked you to marry me. Remember? You said no." He continued dressing, struggling into his jeans somewhat gracefully, she thought, considering the confined space.

"You keep bringing that up."

"Sorry." He started to button his shirt, then looked up. "No, I'm not sorry. It mattered to me. It still matters. Now I don't know what you're trying to do, exactly, but obviously it doesn't have much to do with love...you're just after sex. You discovered it with me, and now you're acting like a teenager, trying it out some more, and you figure I'm safe. Fine. I'll play along with that. My body can't seem to resist yours, and we're stuck in this tent together for a few more nights. But don't expect me to like it," he finished roughly, and opened the front flap of the tent to crawl out.

"Wait, Rob..."

"Rob!" Lanette heard Lena's voice calling him delightedly from outside. "I'm so glad you're awake. I was wondering if you could help me..."

_Wait, what? What would you say if he did wait up?_ she demanded of herself.

She felt ashamed. _Is he right?_

_What can I say to him?_ Lanette wondered. Her inherent honesty couldn't lie, couldn't make up an excuse for her behavior, especially when she had a feeling that he was right. _Maybe I am just seeking to purge my body of this crazy need for his..._ and she had to admit, it was a callous abuse of his emotions. _But I need to do what's right for me, too._

Joe was cooking pancakes for the group over the stove when she emerged from the tent, and Carrie was chopping some fresh peaches.

"Mmm-mm!" she commented. "It looks like you guys are doing some good work there. I can't wait to eat breakfast now!"

"Then go wash up!" Carrie said, like a mother would. She also regarded Lanette with slightly raised brows, as if to say, _so, how was last night?_ But it would have to wait until they were on the trail. They couldn't talk with Joe and the others around.

Lanette moved down to the little creek and splashed some water on her face, then laid down on the bank to stick her face right in the water for a drink. She might not be able to use soap in a mountain stream, but the water made her feel cleaner than any soap ever could.

"Aren't you worried about _giardia_?" Dave asked behind her. "You shouldn't drink the water without boiling it or treating it, first."

Lanette raised her head to smile good morning to him. "Well, that's what everybody says. But I only drank a little. I don't tend to worry about such things."

"Ah, a tough guy, eh?" Dave chuckled. "Maybe I am over-sensitive, since we get all the warning pamphlets mailed to the Chamber office."

"Well, I'll take your advice anyway...I could do with some nice, boiled tea! It's amazing how chilly these mountain mornings are."

"Aw, you're disappointing me," Dave teased her. "You're not such a tough guy after all."

_If I was to tell you the truth, Dave, my knees are shaking. How am I going to solve this situation with Rob?_ But she didn't say that, of course, just laughed merrily and walked back beside him to breakfast.

They were on the road fairly soon, although it was Dave who gave her a hand repacking the tent, not Rob, because Lena had imagined yet another thing that she absolutely needed his help with.

Lanette didn't really mind, this time, since she hadn't figured out what to say to him yet, anyway. They moved uneasily into a stage of unspoken truce for the rest of the day, melting back into group, ignoring the currents between them.

She fell back in with Carrie, since they walked comfortably at the same pace. When the group had finally spaced out again in the same pattern as the day before, Carrie let loose with her curiosity.

"Soooo...how was last night?" she demanded. "I'm dying to know."

"Yeah, I guess I owe you, for staying with Lena. Did she drive you crazy all night?"

Carrie shrugged. "Not really. I'm still sure that this helpless little girl act she's playing with Rob is just to get attention...I don't think she's very happy with life. She didn't sleep very well, just kept murmuring to herself and rolling over, tossing and turning."

Lanette shook her head. "You sure have a lot of sympathy. I don't know if I could be so patient."

Carrie laughed. "You like to think you're tough, Lanette. But stop dodging the subject. How did you get along with Rob last night?"

Lanette sighed. "Physically, it was wonderful. But he's angry."

"Why is he angry? What have you done to him?"

"Well..." Lanette had to think. "I guess I'd better tell you the whole story." She told Carrie everything, from the first telephone call to Rob asking her to marry him, and then about the picnic, and sending him away.

Carrie listened to every word, not interrupting Lanette's tirade until she had worn herself down. Then she was quiet for a while, thinking. "You know, Lanette, I think he might have a point, it does kind of seem like you're chasing his body and not the rest of him."

"I know," Lanette agreed miserably.

"Don't you feel anything for him?" Carrie asked curiously.

"Sometimes, I think I do. But then I think that it's just not possible, that it could never work. I love my horses, my land, my way of life. I wouldn't want to live in some apartment in town...even if it is as nice as Canmore."

"But you said "my parents' ranch," when you were talking. Do you live with your parents?"

"No..."

"So, where do you live?"

It dawned on Lanette. "In an apartment...in town."

"So what, exactly, are you worried about?"

"I don't know..." she walked in silence for a few minutes. "Oh, I do know. Even though I usually sleep in my apartment in town, I can always go to my family's land, escape into the wilderness any time I want. If I lived in Canmore, I wouldn't have any other places to go. I'd be stuck in town, you know?" Lanette looked at Carrie.

Carrie looked incredulous. "But what about all the park land around?"

Lanette looked puzzled. "I don't know. I never thought about it before...it's a totally different ecosystem, you know. It's not the same thing at all." She was quiet for a while. "I guess I haven't been thinking very clearly," she admitted. "But, really, where would I keep my horse? And, I was hoping to start up a stable someday, and how could I possibly buy one out here? Prices are so high."

Carrie looked at her with interest. "You're planning to have a stable? Neat. You know, there is a small stable in Canmore, but I don't see why you couldn't start another...sure, prices might be higher, but couldn't you get a mortgage?"

"I was planning to get a mortgage, anyways, and I am just getting close enough for a down payment...but I don't think I'd have enough for a down payment out here."

"What about if you sold your horse? Sounds like he's worth quite a bit of money, if you've got an income off of him."

Lanette stopped dead in her tracks, and gaped at Carrie. "Sell Malki?"

"Haven't you had any offers?"

"Sure, I have, and some of them were for about two years' wages...but I would never consider taking them." Lanette's voice was aghast.

"So, your horse is more important to you than your man." Carrie nodded. "Fair enough."

"It's not like that...oh! This is a ridiculous conversation. He's not even _my_ man. At the moment, he seems pretty annoyed with me, anyway, so why am I doing all this worrying about moving to Canmore?"

"Because you want to," Carrie answered simply.

"I do?"

"Think so."

"Hm."

"Makes things more complicated, doesn't it?"

"Completely. Can we talk about something else now? My brain's hurting. What's with you and Joe? Come on," she prompted, when Carrie didn't reply right away, "give. I've told you all of my secrets, now."

Carrie sighed. "Hmmmm. I have known him for quite a while, actually. We've had the same friend group for years. And he has always been just another one of the guys that I hang out with..."

"Sooo..." Lanette prodded.

"So, lately, somehow, I've just been wondering if I want more, I guess."

"And how did this come about?"

Carrie blushed. "You know the tourism convention..."

"Uh-huh..."

"Well, I guess you could say we...got together. It took me totally by surprise. We just casually went out for lunch, and then, blammo! I went a little crazy about him. But Joe dates quite a few women. Beside the fact that I haven't had any intentions of settling down, I don't think Joe has ever given any indication that he'd like to settle on one woman, either."

"So, you're back to acting like friends."

"Mmm-hmm."

"And is that what you want?" Lanette prodded.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know what I want. I love my life the way it is, but I can't seem to get him out of my mind. But since we know all the same people, I wouldn't want to make a big play for him, and embarrass him. It would make it so awkward every time I saw him socially, afterward."

"What makes you so sure you would fail?" Lanette asked.

"Oh." Carrie seemed surprised. "I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't fail..."

Lanette finished the sentence for her "...but succeeding would be even scarier." The girls looked at each other, and erupted in gales of laughter.

When they could breathe again, Lanette shook her head. "What a pair we are. Big, tough girls, afraid of these little men..."

Carrie looked slyly at her. "Well, I don't know about Rob, but I wouldn't call Joe _little,_ exactly..." The two girls started laughing again.

"So," Lanette came unerringly back to the point a while later, "you're not sure how Joe feels, right?"

"Right." Carrie nodded.

"Would it help if I kept an eye on him, while you're busy being nonchalant, to see if I can get an idea of what's going on in his head?"

"Do you think you could?" Carrie sounded hopeful.

"Sure, no problem. It will give me something to get my mind off of Rob."

"Oh, yeah," Carrie reminded her. "We still haven't come up with an idea about what you can do to smooth things over, either."

Lanette sighed. "No, we haven't. And maybe I'm in the same place as you...I don't know what I want, exactly. I thought I wanted him out of my system. But it seems the more I'm with him, the more I want to be with him. But do I really want to uproot all the plans I already have in place? Is it worth it? I don't know."

Carrie sighed. "You want to hear a depressing thought, Lanette?"

"What?"

"Maybe we're just going to have to wait for them to make the next move. Maybe there's nothing we can do right now."

"Ooh, I hate that idea," Lanette said. "But, you know," she mused, "you might be right."

_Maybe I'll just ask her what the hell she wants,_ he decided. He was running out of good mood and patience, having had to put up with Lena's constant calls for attention all day, and, having had to walk at this unbearably slow pace that she set. _Where the hell is Joe, and why couldn't he have relieved me at least once or twice?_ Rob wondered. He acknowledged ruefully that here was yet another thing they might have to develop a company policy about—dividing the labour caused by difficult clients.

_But if I ask her what she wants, she'll have the right to turn around and ask me the same thing...have I got an answer for that?_ Wondering at what was actually going on inside himself had kept him busy all day. There was no doubt that his body was glad to see her, but was that enough? _Am I just opening myself up to more heartbreak by spending time with her, by making love to her?_

_Is she as indifferent to emotion as she seems to be?_

_And if she changes her mind about wanting me, do I still want her?_

_Or should I exert some effort to making her want me? Would she want me more if she knew I owned this company, that I have enough money to buy her a stable and a few thousand acres to go with it? But, according to Brad, I should let her come to me, I should run away a little, wait a little._

_If the waiting doesn't kill me, it could be a good strategy._

_Where the hell is Joe?_ he wondered again as Lena complained about the shoulder straps of the backpack digging into her delicate skin. He had heard a lot about her skin today, about how she thought she might be getting blisters on her feet, about how she could feel the high altitude drying her sensitive complexion and that he was a cruel beast for making her leave her scented cream behind in town.

_What have I done to deserve this, God? You send me a sexy hellion who might kill me with love, and an annoying one to drive me more nuts, as if the first one wasn't enough to challenge a man's sanity, in the first place._

He had a sudden, awful thought. Was this some kind of sign that this was a crazy business to be getting into? For a fleeting moment, he wished for his old grey pinstripe suit and his briefcase, for a financial company to troubleshoot, a stock market to play. _And think of all the false people you could have back in your life, too, you dummy, clinging to you for what you can do for them,_ he reminded himself. No, no matter how strange it got out here, at least it was honest. Today might be a little crazy, but surely tomorrow would be better. _Especially when I find Joe and tune him up about leaving me with Lena all day!_

Luckily, she seemed to have run out of words, and had been quiet the last few minutes. His ears were enjoying the respite.

They rounded a corner and Lena screamed. A black bear was sitting in the middle of the path, contentedly snacking from the raspberry bushes that lined the side. He looked myopically towards them, curious, but not overly worried. He heaved himself up onto his feet and ambled off into the bush, leaving the way clear for them to travel.

Rob loved being close to the animals of the forest, as long as they left each other alone, but his companion was hysterical. She clutched onto his chest, crying into his shoulder. He patted her shoulders awkwardly, and wished again for Joe.

Apparently, the girls had not been too far ahead, after all. They must have heard Lena's scream, because they soon came running back down the trail. "Are you all right? What happened?" Carrie asked breathlessly.

"A bear," Rob said succinctly, over Lena's head. "We just disturbed him, eating berries. No big deal."

"Oh. Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Maybe one of you could take my pack for a little while—it's killing my shoulders," Lena said. For someone who had been in as much shock as she had seemed to be, she had recovered remarkably quickly, Rob thought.

"Sure," Lanette agreed with alacrity, and took the pack from Lena. "We dropped our packs up the trail, so we could get here faster when we heard you scream."

_Why is she being so nice?_ Rob wondered suspiciously. _To embarrass Lena? To prove how much more fit she is? No proof necessary,_ he thought, unwittingly remembering the shapes of her stomach and her thigh muscles from last night. He shrugged his shoulders. _Well, I was begging for relief, and here it is, at last, even if we did have to scream to get a little attention from the rest of the group. Of course,_ he noticed, _Joe still hasn't showed up. Where is he?_

The four walked on, and Rob gratefully turned to some easy conversation with Carrie about tomorrow's mountain climbing. She had a few pertinent questions about how he intended to judge the climbing competence of his tourists, and he explained the different parts of the rock face of Assiniboine that would accommodate the different skill levels.

They came to another turn in the trail, and Lanette, who was leading, stopped, backed up. "Darn it!" she yelled. "That bear must have been here while we were gone—look at the packs!"

Indeed, the packs had been all but shredded. Carrie and Lanette's things were scattered, and it seemed he had made quick work of the food they had each been carrying. Empty plastic packages littered the trail, showing frightening claw marks where the bear had ripped them open. "Hang on a minute, Lanette," Rob said as she moved forward. "Let's make sure he's gone, first. You don't want to argue with him over the possession of your stuff."

"I guess you're right," she agreed reluctantly. "But look at the mess he made!"

"Yeah, well, this is his turf."

"I know, I know." Her logic started to reassert itself, and, with it, her intellectual curiosity. "What kind of a bear was it?" she asked.

"Just a little black. He wouldn't be any trouble to us, normally. He must be one who has gotten accustomed to eating from careless campers' garbage, gotten used to the smells of humans. Normally, they wouldn't come within a mile of us, once they heard us."

"Why don't they just shoot all the bears?" Lena demanded. "They're dangerous, and a nuisance."

_So are you,_ he thought, but his voice was mild when he said," They're not a nuisance, when they're treated properly. You didn't mind the birds or the squirrels who came around the campsite, looking for treats, last night, did you? As I recall, you even fed them a little, even when the rest of us asked you not to."

"They were cute. What's your point?"

"Well, the bear, here, isn't acting any different than the squirrels were...he's just looking for a snack. So why are you so upset with him?" _It's some fool tourists just like you that fed him their garbage, in the first place,_ he thought. "Lanette, I think we've made enough noise, and waited enough. You guys can probably go check out your packs, now."

She put down Lena's pack and she and Carrie went over to their own, watching for the bear all the while.

Carrie started laughing. "What a mess! Well, that's less to carry, anyway, since it seems he was remarkably efficient at eating _all_ of the food we had in our packs!"

"What are _we_ going to eat now?" Lena wailed.

"Don't worry, Lena, we'll get by," Rob assured her. "We brought a little more food than we really needed, anyway. Do you think you could help us clean up this trash? We'll still have to pack it out, even if the bear did eat the food from inside it." He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, and hoped she would get a little wilderness morality education out of the exercise.

"Oh, no!" Lanette said. "Look at the tent!" The bear had clawed it apart. _That would be us, having sex inside it, that made the bear interested in that piece of cloth,_ Rob thought guiltily. His eyes met Lanette's, and he shrugged, to say, _I told you so._

"What are you guys going to do for a tent, now?" Carrie asked.

"We could build a lean-to," Lanette suggested, hopefully.

Rob shook his head. "No way. We'd have to cut trees for it, and that's not allowed in the parks."

"Maybe we could build a lean-to of sorts using the tent poles and the torn fabric."

"You're welcome to try, Lanette, but I have a feeling that we'll be sharing with the others. It's a good thing that we brought along largish two-man tents. They should fit three people fairly comfortably."

"Unless it rains," Carrie reminded him. "Then anybody lying touching the tent wall will get wet."

Rob grimaced. "Well, we'll just have to hope it stays dry."

"On Assiniboine?" Carrie said. "It's not a very likely hope. Anyway, luckily, it seems like the bear didn't touch our tent...I wonder why he was so interested in yours?" She looked at Rob and Lanette and, as she realized the likely reason, her mouth made a small, silent, "o" shape.

"Can we go, now?" Lena asked impatiently.

"I guess Lena's right. We'd better move along to camp."

"How much further is it?" Lena asked.

"At least an hour," Rob estimated.

"I don't know how my shoulders will make it!" Lena said, then she brightened. "At least now that the others have less to carry, maybe they can take some of my load!"

Rob shook his head. _Her self-centered attitude is really unbelievable._ "They're going to have enough trouble as it is, with the packs being torn. You're just going to have to tough it out."

"Well, honestly, I don't know how much fun these tours are. If they're all this physically difficult, I can't see that you'd have a very large client base," she complained.

Rob heard those words, the death knell for any business, and tried to remind himself that Lena was wrong, that she wasn't the only person who would send him clients. _Maybe I should just give up on trying to keep Lena happy,_ he thought. _It seems like nothing will satisfy her, anyway._

They finished packing up the torn backpacks as best they could, temporarily mending a couple of the tears with duct tape from Rob's pack, and continued down the trail.

When they finally arrived at the campsite, Joe and Dave had their tent set up and were reclining on the ground with their feet up on a log, drinking coffee from tin cups.

_That jerk,_ Rob thought. _He's sitting around looking pretty, while he has left me with the hard work all day..._

"Geez, guys, it's a good thing you've got the tent set up," Carrie yelled across the meadow, "because you're going to be sharing it!"

Rob watched Joe's spine tense, watched his expression become more alert than the lazy lizard he'd recently been impersonating. He didn't get up, though. Instead, he waited for the group of four to approach the camp they'd set up.

"What happened?" he asked lazily, and Rob wondered how he could be sitting there, looking so nonchalant in the fading afternoon sun, when he, himself, was feeling so stressed out.

"Just a little bear," Lanette said casually.

"Really?" Dave asked enthusiastically. "And we missed it?"

"You can see the effects of it, though, Dave," Carrie said encouragingly, and took her pack off of her back to lay it in front of Dave. "See? He was a hungry bear."

"Well, to be fair, Carrie, Lena and I interrupted his snacking on the raspberries...it only seems fair that we should replace those goodies with something else." Rob was relaxing, relieved to see that the girls, despite having had their packs destroyed, were taking the situation in good humour. Lena was being unusually quiet, however, and he looked at her. She was looking at Dave, who was looking back at her. They both looked a little bemused.

"Joe, we've got to have a little talk," Rob said. "I'm going to go wash my face in the lake, and we'll meet in five minutes, all right?"

Joe seemed to sense something was wrong, and his usual happy-go-lucky expression darkened. "Sure. Do you want me to come down to the lake?"

Rob assessed the meadow, the campsite. "Sure. Maybe you could help the girls with their tent, first."

"We don't need help," Lanette was saying, but Dave interjected, "I'll help them out, guys," with his eyes on Lena.

Rob was bemused by this turn in events. _I need a little time to think._ "I'll see you in five, Joe."

"Sure."

Rob turned on his heel and ambled down to the lake, willing the tension out of his body, hoping it wasn't visible to anyone else. He splashed some of the icy water on his face, and then stuck his head in for a second. He rubbed his hands over his face and neck, rinsed again, and sat back against the bank. He blanked his mind for a moment to let the peace of the cold lake and the mountain seep into his soul.

Joe approached and he willed himself to stay calm.

"So, Rob," Joe said cautiously, "what's up?"

"Did you have a good day, today, Joe?"

"Yeah, a great one. It's a beautiful hike, isn't it?"

"It is, I guess. Not that I was able to enjoy much of it, as I was stuck alone with Lena all day."

Joe was silent.

"Where were you, Joe? Didn't we agree to split the work equally? So what's with this stunt you pulled—rushing up ahead and leaving the rest of us to sink or swim? What if something would have gone really wrong? You weren't anywhere within shouting distance."

Rob fought to keep his voice calm, but he was feeling pretty upset, and Joe had to understand the importance of the points he was making.

"We did have a minor emergency, in fact, with that bear ripping Carrie and Lanette's packs open. It's only thanks to the two of them being so competent that it didn't escalate into a real problem. What if they were greenhorn tourists, the kind we're definitely going to see among our clientele? This isn't a walk with your buddies, Joe. We're supposed to be guiding a group. Where's your sense of responsibility?"

Joe's face had gotten redder and redder as he listened to Rob lecture him, and his eyes gazed unseeingly across the lake. When Rob finished talking, when Joe hoped the intense blue fire of the eyes of the man he had always thought of more as his friend, than his employer, might have dimmed its searing power a little, he looked up at Rob.

"You're right, and I apologize. You've got every reason to be angry with me. I've got a reason, but it's not a good one or at all professional." He stopped.

"Well, what is it?" Rob wanted to know.

"It's Carrie, damn it."

Rob looked puzzled. "What are you talking about? I thought you two were friends."

Joe blew out his breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, we were. Are. I mean..."

Understanding dawned in Rob's eyes. "Was she the blonde you were stuck to at the conference?" Rob had never seen Joe with her, he'd only heard from Colin and Brad.

"Mmm-hm."

Rob burst out laughing. "So, you admit you've been acting like a jerk, but it's not because of Lena, it's because of Carrie?" Joe's stoic expression was answer enough, and Rob laughed all the harder.

"Maybe it should have been you and Carrie in the co-ed tent last night instead of sticking me there...why wasn't it?"

"I don't know," Joe said miserably. "Carrie just came up to me and whispered to arrange to sleep with Dave, so I did. I assumed that meant she didn't want to take any chances of getting stuck sharing a tent with me."

Rob was shaking his head. "The pair of us. Letting ourselves getting messed around by those two bossy girls. And what are the odds, anyway, of us both having woman trouble on the same trip?" he asked.

"What do you mean, two bossy girls? Are you talking about Lena giving you trouble?"

"No. I wish it was as easy as that." Rob chuckled. "It's Lanette. I think she's putting me through pretty much the same thing Carrie's putting you though...Didn't Colin or Brad tell you I was having Lanette problems?"

Finally Joe picked up on the joke and started to laugh. "No, they haven't...but I guess I've been pretty lost in my own thoughts, lately." He sobered. "Listen, man, you're right. I'm sorry with sticking you with Lena all day, and you're right, there's no way Dave and I should have got so far ahead of the rest of you. I promise I'll be more professional in the future, no matter whether some woman is messing me up or not."

"Yeah, well, we knew there were likely to be a few bugs to work out when we started up. I'm just glad we understand each other, now. You did put me through a pretty awful day, you know."

"I'm sorry. I guess that Lena chick is kind of a pain in the butt, eh?"

"Yeah, and you know, I had a feeling at the beginning that maybe we should refuse to take her. We're going to have to work out a better way of screening clients' skill levels."

"How is she going to make it, rock climbing tomorrow?" Joe worried.

"Good question. I guess one of us will just have to stay with her the whole time, and keep her on the easy scrambling slopes."

"That leaves one of us for the other three...luckily they all seem pretty fit and confident. Dave is quite the outdoorsman, actually."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't put it past Lanette to go too far too fast and accidentally break her damn fool neck—that woman is so stubborn!"

Joe looked at him askance. "So it's like that, is it?"

"Shut up," Rob grumbled, and Joe laughed.

"Anyway, I promise I'll take Lena duty tomorrow. I'm sorry about today...I was being pretty selfish."

"You're still being selfish," Rob teased him perceptively. "You're afraid to be stuck on a rock with Carrie, and that you won't know what to say to her."

Joe punched him playfully in the shoulder. "Shut. Up."

Lena had heard Carrie's earlier comment about the middle person being the only one who would stay dry if it rained, and had insisted on having the middle position in the tent. Carrie and Lanette's eyes had met over Lena's head. It was a shame that they wouldn't be able to talk to each other without the other woman in between, but it didn't seem to be worth arguing over. They just shrugged and let Lena have her way. "I'm just glad Bruno only made the one little slash in my sleeping bag," Carrie told Lanette as they sat, making further duct tape repairs to their equipment.

"But Carrie, if he'd wrecked your bag, maybe you could have shared with Joe."

"Oh, you...!" Carrie looked frustrated. "Easy for you to laugh. At least you got a bit of a cuddle last night," she said.

"I suppose," Lanette sighed. "But he doesn't seem to want anything to do with me today."

"Why don't you tell him you love him?" Carrie asked, half-jokingly.

"What good would that do?"

Carrie stared at her. "Well, if you don't know..."

Lanette sighed. "I'm not sure I do know. I mean, maybe I do love him. But does that really matter, if I'm not ready to come live her and be his love? It seems all he'll take is marriage, or nothing, and I can't know if I'm ready for marriage. It's too soon, too crazy."

"Hmm...I can see that. But have you really asked him if he'll accept anything else? Have you guys really talked about it, or do you just keep assuming things about each other?"

"You? I'm getting advice on this subject from you?" Lanette teased, counter-attacking, avoiding giving an answer.

"Good point," Carrie admitted wryly.

Dave had taken the initiative to do an inventory check of what food the bear hadn't eaten, and was arranging things to make the evening meal. Lanette decided to go help him, while Carrie went off for a walk.

"I'm pretty excited about the climb tomorrow, aren't you?" Dave asked her.

"Yeah, Dave, I guess I am. I've never been climbing on a real mountain yet, just on a bouldering wall."

"Really? Well, you're going to love it. Assiniboine is fantastic."

"Do you do this a lot?"

"Not as much as I'd like, I suppose," he answered her as he chopped some vegetables for a soup. "But I have got a couple of kids who are getting to the right age to start doing those kind of things."

"I didn't realize you were married," Lanette said, somewhat apologetically.

Dave's answer was casual. "Oh, I'm not, anymore. She went back to the city, where she came from. Decided the mountains just weren't her thing. It's too bad she took the kids with her, but, you know how it is. Everybody's got to do what's right for themselves."

"You're remarkably philosophical about it all," she couldn't help but comment.

He grinned at her. "Hard won, believe me. It wasn't always this easy. But I've realized, the world's going to keep on turning, whether I like it or not, and the best I can do is navigate my boat on the inexorable tide."

"Dave, you're such a poet!" Lena's voice came from behind, and Lanette saw that Lena was giving Dave a come-hither smile. _Oh, gawd, Lena, can't you give it a rest?_ But Dave didn't seem to mind. Lanette realized with a jolt that he was smiling back, and neither one was speaking.

"I think I'll go find Carrie," she excused herself, but it seemed that neither one heard her.

The two other men returned, smiling and relaxed with each other. _It's a good thing they're so relaxed,_ Lanette thought. _I guess Rob's happy now...he did say he wanted to stay the hell away from me. Now I guess he's got what he wants._ The thought hurt.

_Hey, I should be philosophical, like Dave,_ she thought. _Everybody's got to do what's right for themselves...and Rob obviously feels better now that he's not being forced to sleep beside me..._

She walked off into the forest to be alone with her thoughts. _Why am I so upset that he doesn't seem to want my company, anyway?_ she demanded of herself. _Shouldn't the fact that he is not interested in me anymore make it easier to get him out of my system?_

But later that night, when dinner had been eaten and they were sitting in a circle again, listening to Rob's harmonica, Lanette realized she was a long way from having him out of her system.

Amazingly, Lena's complaining and insistent demands for attention had almost ceased, now that Dave was willingly giving her all of his attention. _I guess she just needed to be wanted,_ Lanette thought. _Heck, isn't that what we all need? To be wanted? And Rob said he wanted me, but I pushed him away. Now I want him to want me, but he doesn't want to..._ she laughed cynically at the convolutions of her thoughts. _And Carrie's worried that Joe doesn't want her...what a puzzle._

Carrie composed a funny little ditty about their bear situation that day, and sang it to them, and they all did a few songs together. Then the rest of the group started begging Lanette and Rob to sing as they had last night. They eyed each other nervously, but finally acquiesced to the group's demands.

"What should we do, Lanette, _Red River Valley_?"

"Oh, that's a beautiful song," Lena gushed. "Yes, do that one."

Lanette's stomach fluttered as Rob continued to look at her. "Fine," she said, but the coward in her wished he hadn't picked such a romantic song. She didn't have time to protest it, or suggest another one, since the group was pushing them to sing. Rob started in with his beautiful deep voice, and she had no choice but to join.

_Come and sit by my side if you love me_

_Do not hasten to bid me adieu_

_Please remember the Red River Valley_

_And the cowboy who loved you so true._

Lanette trembled as their voices entwined and melded and Rob's eyes seared her soul. _Is he trying to tell me something?_ she wondered. _Is he telling me to sit beside him and tell him if I love him, or is he bidding me good-bye?_

The group was quiet for a few moments after the last resonant notes of the song faded away, each member lost in their own thoughts.

"Would you like to go for a walk, Lena?" Dave asked.

"Why, thank you, Dave," she said. The two of them departed, leaving the other four, still a little bit emotionally charged from the singing, sitting there, staring at each other. Lanette looked at Rob. Joe looked at Carrie. Everyone looked at the ground. No-one spoke. The atmosphere seemed to grow heavier and heavier. It seemed that no-one could think of anything to say.

"Well," Carrie said at last, breaking the silence almost visibly, "I'm off to bed. We'll need lots of energy for climbing tomorrow!" her voice was perky, sounded a bit false in the dark of the night.

_Should I follow her?_ Lanette wondered, but couldn't bring herself to leave, just yet. Maybe Rob had something to say. She looked at him hopefully, but he was staring at the ground. She looked down, too, wondering what he was staring at.

Joe cleared his throat and Lanette looked up. "Wal, I guess I'll hit the sack, too. See ya in the morning."

Rob stood up at the same time. "I'm right behind ya, buddy."

Lanette stared at him incredulously. _Not even a good night kiss?_

_Well, he wasn't too keen about the good morning kiss, either,_ she reminded herself.

She stayed where she was for a few more minutes, letting her heart slow down, hoping Rob would change his mind and come back. She could hear Lena giggling off towards the lake and wondered, idly, what Dave was doing—tickling her?

Rob didn't come back, so she made her way to the tent. Carrie was already undressed and in her sleeping bag, but her eyes were open.

"Doesn't that beat all?" Lanette said. "Here we are, two good-looking, nice girls, and there are two good-looking men in the tent beside us. Meanwhile, Miss Complain and Whine all day is having the time of her life!"

"At least she's not stuck like a limpet onto Rob, at the moment."

"That's true," Lanette conceded. Her mouth twisted in a rueful smile. "But neither am I."

"Maybe we should go crash into the guys' tent," Carrie suggested.

The idea made Lanette's eyes sparkle.

"Yeah, but then what?" she had to ask, after toying with the delicious idea in her mind.

Carrie sighed. "That's the problem with fun ideas. As soon as you try to reason out any logic to go with them, they lose all their feasibility."

Lanette giggled as she slid into her sleeping bag. "Well, have you got any good ghost stories to keep me entertained?"

Carrie shivered. "Please, Lanette. We're going up on the mountain tomorrow. I don't want to think about ghosts!"

# Chapter Nine

Lanette's fingers turned white as she clung to the rock face, waiting for Dave to move up before her, then she reminded herself to relax into her harness. The piton that she was clipped into could be trusted to hold her weight, she knew. Carrie was in the lead, firmly setting the metal screws in the rock for Dave, Lanette, and then Rob to follow. Each climber moved up, then attached their harness at rest intervals. A safety rope connected the four to each other and the screws in the rock. Rob was taking out the anchors as he came up, to leave the face clean for other groups. They would rappel down, once they got to the top. But for now, Lanette was loving the sensation of hanging off of the side of this massive rock, halfway up.

_This is how God must see the world,_ she thought. _From above, watching everything below._ Ancient ice chutes flowed gracefully down the mountain beside her, eventually to form the glittering lakes. She could see another group preparing to climb below them, and the vast forests rolling out to the horizon. _Just think of how many creatures are moving around in the trails under those trees,_ she thought in awe. _Bears and deer, elk, moose, and coyote, squirrels, martin, birds..._

_And the people who would rid the world of them,_ she thought darkly. _Like Lena._ She twisted a little and looked down to where Joe and Lena were "scrambling" up one of the easier slopes, which didn't require any equipment or experience. _Although I have to admit, she does seem to be getting a little wiser about wildlife. I guess she has just never been exposed to proper wilderness attitudes before, being raised in the city. It's hard to believe someone could grow up in Calgary and be so unaware of the mountains at her back door...I guess Rob's company is doing a lot of good, if, besides providing people with fun, it's educating them about preserving our wild spaces._

_People here are taking care of animals, too, although not in as close or hands-on a way as we ranchers do,_ she had realized, as Carrie had passionately discussed the campaign to turn the Kananaskis Country into a protected provincial parkland. It's present status left its future too uncertain. Locals and outdoor adventurers alike worried about the unspoiled country being overused and overdeveloped until it was more of a money-making tourist trap than the beautiful wildlife corridor it now was. If it was tied up, animals that had little migratory space already, would have even less. Carrie had explained to her how the highway was kept closed well into the spring, to let the animals have enough peace to raise their young a small bit before the speeding vehicles and campers invaded.

_I guess this trip has educated me quite a bit, too,_ she admitted ruefully. It was amazing how quickly her passion had been stirred by Carrie's speech. _I think I feel just as upset as Carrie does about the issue, and she's been living here for years._

"Look out!" Rob said, "It's your turn!"

"Oh, thanks." She reached up for a hold with her left hand, pulling herself up by it while pushing against the lower hold her right hand had already found. Her feet fumbled for a moment as they searched for holds.

"There's a ledge just a little more to the left of your left foot," Rob advised from below.

Lanette had been impressed with his patience and teaching skills. Even though he had made it obvious he wasn't very happy with her personally, professionally he had been marvellous, calmly reminding her of the climbing skills she had learned previously at indoor climbing walls, and easily making suggestions to her about how to apply those skills to the real mountain. _There's no doubt I'll send this company any clients that come along. I was wrong to judge Rob so poorly, by my own prejudices. He's obviously an expert at what he does,_ she acknowledged, promising herself she would apologize to him later _._

She was loving the experience. Hanging off the side of this mountain was a hundred times the rush that the climbing wall had always been for her. She had always loved the way climbing challenged her mind and strained every muscle she had, but the power she felt up here on a real mountain face was something totally new, totally addictive.

_You can't do this on the prairie,_ a little voice in her head peeped.

_No, I can't,_ she admitted to herself ruefully. _But can I do all the things I love to do there, out here? That's the question._

_And what's more important?_ the little voice demanded.

_I don't know yet._

_Better decide soon, before Rob decides to move on,_ said the increasingly pessimistic little voice.

_Maybe he already has, judging by last night. He sure wasn't taking any chances on being alone with me._

_But what about the way he looked at me when we were singing together? And why did he choose The Red River Valley? Was it a way of telling me it's my move?_

_But I've been moving, and he's been running._

_Maybe he's just playing hard to get._

_But why?_

_Maybe it's time to prove myself. Maybe he's got a right to demand it. So, what should I do? Sell Malki like Carrie suggested, so that I can finance a stable of my own here?_

It was her turn to move up again, and she devoted her mind totally to it, to finding toeholds and handholds, to pushing her body up against gravity. The next time she stopped again for a rest, it seemed that she'd come a long way farther up, and she felt a rush of fear.

_You could really die doing this. Just like the rodeo. Just like pioneering. Is it in my blood, in my genes, to love dangerous activities? s_ he wondered.

_I don't know, but I sure love this. I just pray our equipment doesn't fail._ She knew that most accidents, however, were caused by human error, not by failure of the safe, hi-tech equipment they had, these days.

She had watched Rob and Joe safety-checking each piece of rope, each carabiner, and felt sure that she was safe on that account, anyway. And Carrie, who'd been doing this for years, was putting the anchors in very sturdily, so Lanette felt safe clipping her harness to the small piece of metal in the towering rock. _What a crazy sport this is._

_But, look at that view!_

She unclipped her harness from the anchor as it was time to climb again. She looked down to see Rob, having taken all the anchors out, ready to move up, looking up at her, waiting for her to move. Her heart thumped at how gorgeous he looked, and she fumbled her hand hold and grabbed desperately for the rope.

"Hey!" Dave yelled from above. "What are you trying to do? Drag me down?"

"Sorry, Dave!" she yelled back, and found her handholds again. She expected Rob to make some sarcastic comment, but he was soothing, instead. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, but her voice was shaky.

"Just take your time. Don't rush it," he advised. "We have all day."

"Thanks." She took a few deep breaths, and then felt ready to move on. She climbed, and as she concentrated, her nervousness at her slip evaporated. She reached the point where Dave and Carrie were clipped in, resting, and yelled down to Rob "Okay," just as she reached to attach her carabineer. Before she was able to set it properly, the rope pulled down, and she slipped along with it. As she slipped, and realized that Rob was slipping away under her, three images of his eyes flashed through her mind. There had been the morning he had asked her to marry him, and they'd glowed with love and trust, _until I rejected him._ Then there had been the day of the picnic, when they'd sparkled with fun and togetherness, _until I insulted him._ When they had sung together, those eyes had burned with a passion so intense it burned her, yet she knew now that the pain she'd inflicted burned him, too.

_Life will be nothing if those eyes never look at me again._

"Rob!" she screamed, as the rope came up taut and she bumped against the cliff. "Oh, God, please let him be okay," she begged. She looked up and saw Dave and Carrie looking down at her, horror in their eyes, and she realized that she and Rob both were hanging off the carabineers Dave and Carrie had attached to the pitons she'd put in. _Please, please, let those little bits of metal hold for a while longer,_ she prayed, _or we're all going to fall off this mountain._

She hurried to find foot and toe holds as best she could, trying to take some of her own weight off of the line. To her huge relief, she felt the line slacken as Rob did the same thing below her. "Are you okay?" she called down, when she had found a tenuous hold on the rock.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"Fine," she replied shakily.

"Good. You guys okay up there?" he called to Dave and Carrie.

"Yes," Dave called back. "But we'd sure like it if you guys wouldn't do that again!"

"So would we!" Rob called back, and Lanette was amazed that his voice didn't even seem to be shaking. _I guess we didn't really fall that far,_ she measured. _Just below the pitons._

"How do we get up again, without the pitons?" she asked Rob, feeling a little helpless.

"Well, Lanette, this is your chance to really prove how tough you are...climb up the same way Carrie's been doing the whole time. Don't worry, they're holding on to us."

"Okay," she said, and did as he'd instructed. It took her longer, since she had to look harder and be more careful about her toe and hand holds, without the anchoring metal pieces Carrie had been pampering her with, but she didn't pause until she was caught up with Dave and Carrie again.

"I'm so sorry, guys. That was my fault. I never should have yelled that it was okay before I was clipped in properly."

"That's true, Lanette," came Rob's curt voice from below her. "But I should have double checked before I unclipped. I allowed myself to get distracted, and it could have been serious. It's not your fault, Lanette, it's mine." His tone was full of self-remorse.

"Okay, guys, that's fine, but if we're all right, it would be better to discuss this once we reach the summit," Carrie suggested.

"You're right," Rob agreed, and the four of them finished the climb.

"Geez, man, you really scared us for a moment there," Joe said to him later. "Lena and I looked up when Lanette screamed, and there you two are, dangling off the rope. What happened?"

Rob sighed. "Stupidity, man. My own stupidity. And that's the way fatal accidents happen. I let myself get distracted, I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing. It was unforgivable, and I'm just lucky the other three were so good about it. Did you see Lanette? She reacted superbly, clung back to the rock right away, and climbed up like a trooper. She even rappelled back down without hesitation, that big grin on her face the whole way. I offered to hike down the back with her, but she wasn't having it."

Joe nodded. "It was a close call. Man, a lot of people would have frozen up with a slip like that, and then we might have had to have a rescue."

Rob laughed. "More troubleshooting? I guess we'd better have a firm rescue policy as well, and double check our insurance." He shook his head. "This business we've started is going to cost us a bundle in law suits unless we start acting smarter than we've been doing this trip, eh?"

Joe grinned ruefully. "Maybe we should make a policy of not having women along...they seem to sink the ship."

Rob gaped at him. "You, Joe Berry, claiming that he'd rather be without women?"

Joe didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, well, they seem to be destroying our concentration this trip, don't they?" he grumbled.

Rob laughed. "Maybe we'll just have to ban these two particular women...we've had plenty of women along before, with no troubles."

Joe sighed. "True enough. But I'll be glad to get back to town, and some distractions."

"Never thought I'd hear Joe Berry say that," Rob said, shaking his head as he walked away. "Rather be in town then out here in God's country. Tired of the company of women. Sheesh! Anyway, we'd better get dinner on."

Rob was on his way back from the facilities after dinner when Lanette finally tracked him down on his own.

"Rob, can we talk?"

He sighed inwardly. Part of him screamed to keep away from her, before he could be hurt any more, but his sense of fairness compelled him to hear her out. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

She chewed on her lip indecisively, as if unsure of what to say next, and he wished he wasn't so entranced by the pearl of her tooth against those kissable lips. He realized he wasn't making things easy for her, but he wasn't in a mood to help her hurt him anymore. _She created this mess, now whatever she seems to want out of it, she can dig for herself,_ he defended.

"Do we have to talk about anything, really? Couldn't we just talk?"

He sighed. Whatever was on her mind, it would take her a while to spit out, apparently. "Sure. Do you want to go sit down by the lake?"

"That's a good idea."

They walked down to the shore and found a large, flat rock to sit on. He tried to sit some distanced away from her, but she moved over to sit closer. He shrugged. _I should move away, but, what the hell, she feels good there._

"First, I owe you a huge apology. You're excellent at your job. You're an incredible teacher, especially, and I am glad that you're acting as a guide. You'll probably do a lot of good, educating people like Lena. My prejudices were all wrong, and I'm sorry for being such a fool."

A frisson of pleasure would not be suppressed at her compliments, but he crushed it. "Yeah, well, people are the same all over," he said. _Like you and Lucinda. You might be from opposite ends of the country, but you sure can find ways to hurt me just the same. The nicer I am, the harder you hit. So I'm not being nice any more._

No matter how much he wanted to be nice, how much he wanted to give in to the warm, beautiful togetherness he'd thought he could have had with Lanette.

She was disagreeing with him. "No, I don't think that people are the same all over, Rob. I'm just admitting that I was wrong about you, and I'm sorry for it. I should have had the intelligence to see deeper into you than I allowed myself to, at first." She turned her head away, looking out over the moonlit water, said the same thing Joe had said. "You...scared me."

They were each silent for a while, lost in their own thoughts. He was aware of her hands, stroking his, and aware that it was seducing his body, affecting him even as he willed it not to. She picked one of them up and kissed it, and, despite his willing it to, it would not pull away from that warm, giving mouth. She moved up his arm, kissing through his sweater, to his neck, and his face. She pressed her body against him, and he could feel the warmth of her breasts through the layers of their clothing.

With a groan, he finally gave in to his desire to hold her closer. He turned, capturing that red mouth in a kiss, devouring her, holding her close. Her soft strength against him was completely intoxicating, and he forgot every reason he'd had for staying away from her. He wrapped his arms more firmly around her, trailed kisses to her ear, down her neck.

Her hands worked under his sweater and his shirt to press against his bare back, and the electricity they emitted was heavenly. Suddenly, he heard a giggle from a little ways away, and realized that they were out in the open, where any of the other campers might come upon them. He tried to pull back, but she pulled him closer. "Oh, Rob, Rob," she moaned, "don't leave me. I love you."

The words were like a bucket of glacial lake water over his head, and he stood up quickly, moving away from her as fast as he could. He could hardly bear to look at her, at her kissed lips, her mussed hair around her face, where he'd buried his fingers.

"How dare you?" he demanded. "You know, Lanette, that is the lowest you have sunk yet. It's one thing to use me for sex, at least that's honest, but to drag my emotions into it...you're sick. Toying me along this way because I stopped playing your little game." He turned and marched back to the camp. _She is just like Lucinda,_ he fumed. _Oh...how could I have fallen for the same type, twice?_

Carrie was sitting on a stump in the middle of the camp when Lanette returned. She was doing just...nothing, and looked very peaceful at it, as if she were concentrating all her energy on becoming part of the forest. Lanette didn't want to wreck the lovely mood, so she decided to join it, and sat down on the ground near Carrie. She tried to emulate the peaceful expression Carrie was wearing, and slow her breathing.

"Well, I guess you're upset," Carrie said after a few minutes.

"Why do you say that?" Lanette asked.

"Well, first you walked up here like a rhinoceros, sat down like a giraffe, and now you're breathing like a buffalo."

"I'm all the animal kingdom?"

"No, not all of it, just the clumsy ones. Now, you're not a clumsy girl, from what I've seen, so, I am guessing that you're upset."

Lanette sighed.

"Not to mention, I saw you leave to follow Rob after dinner, and now you're coming back without him..."

"Oh, you!" Lanette rapped Carrie's hiking boot. "All that animal kingdom mumbo-jumbo—what a fraud you are. Anyway, you're the one who caused all this trouble, since I was following your advice," Lanette said half-jokingly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I told him I loved him, and he went berserk, and wouldn't have anything to do with me. And things were progressing rather nicely, until I said that, too," she grumbled.

Carrie looked at her proudly. "You actually spit the words out? Good for you!"

"What do you mean, good for me? It only made him mad!"

"Mad, huh? Well then, he must care. Angry's passionate, at least."

"Oh, great, he's passionately angry at me. What good is that?"

"Well, think about it. If he didn't care, he wouldn't get angry, would he?"

"Sure he would, if he didn't like me."

Carrie shook her head. "Not Rob. Think about it. He's the ultimate diplomat with Lena, and he doesn't like her. But it doesn't really bother him, deep down, so he doesn't bother to get mad about it. You, on the other hand, he does care about. That's why it matters to him, very much, what he thinks you feel. Naturally he would hate thinking you're using him for sex, if he feels like he's making love to you. Naturally he needs to know that you really mean it if you say you love him...I don't quite get why he'd fly off the handle so easily, though. What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. We were kissing, and he pulled away a bit, and I said, don't, I love you, and he flipped his lid." Lanette's voice was full of her frustration.

"Ahhh..." Carrie's face looked sorrowful. "So you used 'I love you' to try to get him to keep making love to you. Bad move."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see? You related it to sex, and you know he was already touchy about the idea that that was all you wanted from him...he might have thought this was just another tactic."

"He did say something about toying with his emotions," Lanette remembered.

"Hmm. You see? Maybe he's got some baddie in his past—didn't you tell me he was divorced?"

"Yes."

"Well, maybe his ex-wife was a real user, maybe she hurt him. Come on, Lanette, can't you see my point? Couldn't you be a little more sensitive to the poor guy? You just keep barging ahead like a steam train, expecting him to fall in with your plans. 'Make love to me, but be my friend.' 'Oh! I've changed my mind. I love you. Make love to me.'" It seems that all you ever communicate with him about, is wanting his body. But what are you giving in return?"

Lanette slumped and sighed and stared at the ground. "But I have been thinking of giving in, of moving to Canmore. You know that. But somehow every time we try to talk, this crazy passion between us gets in the way. And then I tried to tell him I love him, and he just went off the wall."

"Well, nobody said it would be easy. You hurt him pretty bad in the beginning, it sounds like, and I guess it'll take you a while to talk him back around."

"Especially when he won't talk to me."

"Hah! Carrie said. "You're lucky. At least you're getting something from him. It seems like all I can get from Joe is indifference and avoidance, and casual friendliness. Now _there's_ a guy who really doesn't care."

"Oh, no, you're wrong Carrie. I have been watching him, like I said I would, and he does care. Sometimes he watches you when you're not looking, but then he seems to catch himself at it, and make himself stop. He seems like a guy who's fighting himself pretty hard."

Carrie laughed. "You make him sound just like me. Who knows, maybe we'll win the fight, and never get together again!"

"Well, if that's what you both want..." Lanette said dubiously. "You know, at first, that was what I thought I wanted to...to just get Rob out of my system, so I could carry on as I was before. But the more time I spend with him, and the more time I spend out here, the more I want to be with him. So if you really want your old life back, you'd better stay away from Joe, completely."

Carrie sighed. "Good idea. Enough of this guy talk, anyway. I'm about ready to hit the sack. Didn't the climb tire you out today?"

"I guess so, but I loved it! My muscles have that lovely 'used' ache to them."

"That's good. You see, there are things you can love, this far away from home."

"Maybe." She remembered her earlier thoughts and asked, "Where's Lena?"

"Oh, she hit the sack ages ago. That little scramble really wore her out."

"Poor darling." They laughed. "Poor us! She's probably going to be complaining of sore muscles all day tomorrow!"

"I think the guys have a bit of a rest day planned, anyway. I don't think Rob feels like jumping back onto the mountain after that slip they had today...what about you?"

Lanette shrugged. "I guess it was pretty scary, but it's like getting bucked off a horse...you've just got to get back on as soon as possible, so you don't lose your nerve."

"Hey...that sounds like a good strategy for you and Rob...why don't you go after him and make him believe that you love him, make him believe you plan to be with him?"

Lanette sighed. "You're right, I'll have to do something. But not tonight. I'm feeling too emotional, too tired, too confused. I'll talk to him tomorrow, I promise."

"Maybe tomorrow, we could switch places. You start paying attention to Joe, and I'll fuss over Rob. Maybe that would shake them up, make them a little jealous, make them pay attention to us," Carrie suggested.

Lanette toyed with the idea, then sighed. "It's a tempting plan, Carrie, but I don't think I could pull it off. I'm too honest, and I'm not a very good actress. Besides, what if it backfired?"

Carrie's eyes sparkled. "Then it might be even more fun!"

"Hey!" Lanette protested. Keep your hands off my man!"

"He's not yours, yet, isn't that what you just told me?" Carrie teased.

"Carrie. Carrie. Carrie. Carrriiiiheheeee..." Lanette crooned, to the tune of _Jolene._ "I'm begging of you, please don't take my man."

"Hey, what's all that caterwauling out there?" grumbled Lena's sleepy voice from inside their tent.

"Sorry, we're just coming to bed," Lanette explained.

"I think you've got a lovely voice," Carrie whispered. "Caterwauling, my foot. Where does that chick get off? Maybe I should play up to the man _she's_ got her eyes on, tomorrow, instead."

"Oh, behave. Besides, I thought you'd decided she was nice, just lonely?"

Carrie sighed. "Yeah. I guess this situation with Joe is stressing me out. Then it's easier for her little annoying antics to get on my nerves."

"So why don't _you_ just get back on the horse and ride it, instead of just preaching to me, and thinking up devious tactics, instead of honestly letting him know how you feel?"

"Because I don't know how I feel," Carrie explained simply, though the fact clearly frustrated her.

"Hm." Lanette nodded her head sympathetically. "Tough one."

"Come on, let's hit the sack."

# Chapter Nine

Lanette's fingers turned white as she clung to the rock face, waiting for Dave to move up before her, then she reminded herself to relax into her harness. The piton that she was clipped into could be trusted to hold her weight, she knew. Carrie was in the lead, firmly setting the metal screws in the rock for Dave, Lanette, and then Rob to follow. Each climber moved up, then attached their harness at rest intervals. A safety rope connected the four to each other and the screws in the rock. Rob was taking out the anchors as he came up, to leave the face clean for other groups. They would rappel down, once they got to the top. But for now, Lanette was loving the sensation of hanging off of the side of this massive rock, halfway up.

_This is how God must see the world,_ she thought. _From above, watching everything below._ Ancient ice chutes flowed gracefully down the mountain beside her, eventually to form the glittering lakes. She could see another group preparing to climb below them, and the vast forests rolling out to the horizon. _Just think of how many creatures are moving around in the trails under those trees,_ she thought in awe. _Bears and deer, elk, moose, and coyote, squirrels, martin, birds..._

_And the people who would rid the world of them,_ she thought darkly. _Like Lena._ She twisted a little and looked down to where Joe and Lena were "scrambling" up one of the easier slopes, which didn't require any equipment or experience. _Although I have to admit, she does seem to be getting a little wiser about wildlife. I guess she has just never been exposed to proper wilderness attitudes before, being raised in the city. It's hard to believe someone could grow up in Calgary and be so unaware of the mountains at her back door...I guess Rob's company is doing a lot of good, if, besides providing people with fun, it's educating them about preserving our wild spaces._

_People here are taking care of animals, too, although not in as close or hands-on a way as we ranchers do,_ she had realized, as Carrie had passionately discussed the campaign to turn the Kananaskis Country into a protected provincial parkland. It's present status left its future too uncertain. Locals and outdoor adventurers alike worried about the unspoiled country being overused and overdeveloped until it was more of a money-making tourist trap than the beautiful wildlife corridor it now was. If it was tied up, animals that had little migratory space already, would have even less. Carrie had explained to her how the highway was kept closed well into the spring, to let the animals have enough peace to raise their young a small bit before the speeding vehicles and campers invaded.

_I guess this trip has educated me quite a bit, too,_ she admitted ruefully. It was amazing how quickly her passion had been stirred by Carrie's speech. _I think I feel just as upset as Carrie does about the issue, and she's been living here for years._

"Look out!" Rob said, "It's your turn!"

"Oh, thanks." She reached up for a hold with her left hand, pulling herself up by it while pushing against the lower hold her right hand had already found. Her feet fumbled for a moment as they searched for holds.

"There's a ledge just a little more to the left of your left foot," Rob advised from below.

Lanette had been impressed with his patience and teaching skills. Even though he had made it obvious he wasn't very happy with her personally, professionally he had been marvellous, calmly reminding her of the climbing skills she had learned previously at indoor climbing walls, and easily making suggestions to her about how to apply those skills to the real mountain. _There's no doubt I'll send this company any clients that come along. I was wrong to judge Rob so poorly, by my own prejudices. He's obviously an expert at what he does,_ she acknowledged, promising herself she would apologize to him later _._

She was loving the experience. Hanging off the side of this mountain was a hundred times the rush that the climbing wall had always been for her. She had always loved the way climbing challenged her mind and strained every muscle she had, but the power she felt up here on a real mountain face was something totally new, totally addictive.

_You can't do this on the prairie,_ a little voice in her head peeped.

_No, I can't,_ she admitted to herself ruefully. _But can I do all the things I love to do there, out here? That's the question._

_And what's more important?_ the little voice demanded.

_I don't know yet._

_Better decide soon, before Rob decides to move on,_ said the increasingly pessimistic little voice.

_Maybe he already has, judging by last night. He sure wasn't taking any chances on being alone with me._

_But what about the way he looked at me when we were singing together? And why did he choose The Red River Valley? Was it a way of telling me it's my move?_

_But I've been moving, and he's been running._

_Maybe he's just playing hard to get._

_But why?_

_Maybe it's time to prove myself. Maybe he's got a right to demand it. So, what should I do? Sell Malki like Carrie suggested, so that I can finance a stable of my own here?_

It was her turn to move up again, and she devoted her mind totally to it, to finding toeholds and handholds, to pushing her body up against gravity. The next time she stopped again for a rest, it seemed that she'd come a long way farther up, and she felt a rush of fear.

_You could really die doing this. Just like the rodeo. Just like pioneering. Is it in my blood, in my genes, to love dangerous activities? s_ he wondered.

_I don't know, but I sure love this. I just pray our equipment doesn't fail._ She knew that most accidents, however, were caused by human error, not by failure of the safe, hi-tech equipment they had, these days.

She had watched Rob and Joe safety-checking each piece of rope, each carabiner, and felt sure that she was safe on that account, anyway. And Carrie, who'd been doing this for years, was putting the anchors in very sturdily, so Lanette felt safe clipping her harness to the small piece of metal in the towering rock. _What a crazy sport this is._

_But, look at that view!_

She unclipped her harness from the anchor as it was time to climb again. She looked down to see Rob, having taken all the anchors out, ready to move up, looking up at her, waiting for her to move. Her heart thumped at how gorgeous he looked, and she fumbled her hand hold and grabbed desperately for the rope.

"Hey!" Dave yelled from above. "What are you trying to do? Drag me down?"

"Sorry, Dave!" she yelled back, and found her handholds again. She expected Rob to make some sarcastic comment, but he was soothing, instead. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, but her voice was shaky.

"Just take your time. Don't rush it," he advised. "We have all day."

"Thanks." She took a few deep breaths, and then felt ready to move on. She climbed, and as she concentrated, her nervousness at her slip evaporated. She reached the point where Dave and Carrie were clipped in, resting, and yelled down to Rob "Okay," just as she reached to attach her carabineer. Before she was able to set it properly, the rope pulled down, and she slipped along with it. As she slipped, and realized that Rob was slipping away under her, three images of his eyes flashed through her mind. There had been the morning he had asked her to marry him, and they'd glowed with love and trust, _until I rejected him._ Then there had been the day of the picnic, when they'd sparkled with fun and togetherness, _until I insulted him._ When they had sung together, those eyes had burned with a passion so intense it burned her, yet she knew now that the pain she'd inflicted burned him, too.

_Life will be nothing if those eyes never look at me again._

"Rob!" she screamed, as the rope came up taut and she bumped against the cliff. "Oh, God, please let him be okay," she begged. She looked up and saw Dave and Carrie looking down at her, horror in their eyes, and she realized that she and Rob both were hanging off the carabineers Dave and Carrie had attached to the pitons she'd put in. _Please, please, let those little bits of metal hold for a while longer,_ she prayed, _or we're all going to fall off this mountain._

She hurried to find foot and toe holds as best she could, trying to take some of her own weight off of the line. To her huge relief, she felt the line slacken as Rob did the same thing below her. "Are you okay?" she called down, when she had found a tenuous hold on the rock.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

"Fine," she replied shakily.

"Good. You guys okay up there?" he called to Dave and Carrie.

"Yes," Dave called back. "But we'd sure like it if you guys wouldn't do that again!"

"So would we!" Rob called back, and Lanette was amazed that his voice didn't even seem to be shaking. _I guess we didn't really fall that far,_ she measured. _Just below the pitons._

"How do we get up again, without the pitons?" she asked Rob, feeling a little helpless.

"Well, Lanette, this is your chance to really prove how tough you are...climb up the same way Carrie's been doing the whole time. Don't worry, they're holding on to us."

"Okay," she said, and did as he'd instructed. It took her longer, since she had to look harder and be more careful about her toe and hand holds, without the anchoring metal pieces Carrie had been pampering her with, but she didn't pause until she was caught up with Dave and Carrie again.

"I'm so sorry, guys. That was my fault. I never should have yelled that it was okay before I was clipped in properly."

"That's true, Lanette," came Rob's curt voice from below her. "But I should have double checked before I unclipped. I allowed myself to get distracted, and it could have been serious. It's not your fault, Lanette, it's mine." His tone was full of self-remorse.

"Okay, guys, that's fine, but if we're all right, it would be better to discuss this once we reach the summit," Carrie suggested.

"You're right," Rob agreed, and the four of them finished the climb.

"Geez, man, you really scared us for a moment there," Joe said to him later. "Lena and I looked up when Lanette screamed, and there you two are, dangling off the rope. What happened?"

Rob sighed. "Stupidity, man. My own stupidity. And that's the way fatal accidents happen. I let myself get distracted, I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing. It was unforgivable, and I'm just lucky the other three were so good about it. Did you see Lanette? She reacted superbly, clung back to the rock right away, and climbed up like a trooper. She even rappelled back down without hesitation, that big grin on her face the whole way. I offered to hike down the back with her, but she wasn't having it."

Joe nodded. "It was a close call. Man, a lot of people would have frozen up with a slip like that, and then we might have had to have a rescue."

Rob laughed. "More troubleshooting? I guess we'd better have a firm rescue policy as well, and double check our insurance." He shook his head. "This business we've started is going to cost us a bundle in law suits unless we start acting smarter than we've been doing this trip, eh?"

Joe grinned ruefully. "Maybe we should make a policy of not having women along...they seem to sink the ship."

Rob gaped at him. "You, Joe Berry, claiming that he'd rather be without women?"

Joe didn't meet his eyes. "Yeah, well, they seem to be destroying our concentration this trip, don't they?" he grumbled.

Rob laughed. "Maybe we'll just have to ban these two particular women...we've had plenty of women along before, with no troubles."

Joe sighed. "True enough. But I'll be glad to get back to town, and some distractions."

"Never thought I'd hear Joe Berry say that," Rob said, shaking his head as he walked away. "Rather be in town then out here in God's country. Tired of the company of women. Sheesh! Anyway, we'd better get dinner on."

Rob was on his way back from the facilities after dinner when Lanette finally tracked him down on his own.

"Rob, can we talk?"

He sighed inwardly. Part of him screamed to keep away from her, before he could be hurt any more, but his sense of fairness compelled him to hear her out. "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

She chewed on her lip indecisively, as if unsure of what to say next, and he wished he wasn't so entranced by the pearl of her tooth against those kissable lips. He realized he wasn't making things easy for her, but he wasn't in a mood to help her hurt him anymore. _She created this mess, now whatever she seems to want out of it, she can dig for herself,_ he defended.

"Do we have to talk about anything, really? Couldn't we just talk?"

He sighed. Whatever was on her mind, it would take her a while to spit out, apparently. "Sure. Do you want to go sit down by the lake?"

"That's a good idea."

They walked down to the shore and found a large, flat rock to sit on. He tried to sit some distanced away from her, but she moved over to sit closer. He shrugged. _I should move away, but, what the hell, she feels good there._

"First, I owe you a huge apology. You're excellent at your job. You're an incredible teacher, especially, and I am glad that you're acting as a guide. You'll probably do a lot of good, educating people like Lena. My prejudices were all wrong, and I'm sorry for being such a fool."

A frisson of pleasure would not be suppressed at her compliments, but he crushed it. "Yeah, well, people are the same all over," he said. _Like you and Lucinda. You might be from opposite ends of the country, but you sure can find ways to hurt me just the same. The nicer I am, the harder you hit. So I'm not being nice any more._

No matter how much he wanted to be nice, how much he wanted to give in to the warm, beautiful togetherness he'd thought he could have had with Lanette.

She was disagreeing with him. "No, I don't think that people are the same all over, Rob. I'm just admitting that I was wrong about you, and I'm sorry for it. I should have had the intelligence to see deeper into you than I allowed myself to, at first." She turned her head away, looking out over the moonlit water, said the same thing Joe had said. "You...scared me."

They were each silent for a while, lost in their own thoughts. He was aware of her hands, stroking his, and aware that it was seducing his body, affecting him even as he willed it not to. She picked one of them up and kissed it, and, despite his willing it to, it would not pull away from that warm, giving mouth. She moved up his arm, kissing through his sweater, to his neck, and his face. She pressed her body against him, and he could feel the warmth of her breasts through the layers of their clothing.

With a groan, he finally gave in to his desire to hold her closer. He turned, capturing that red mouth in a kiss, devouring her, holding her close. Her soft strength against him was completely intoxicating, and he forgot every reason he'd had for staying away from her. He wrapped his arms more firmly around her, trailed kisses to her ear, down her neck.

Her hands worked under his sweater and his shirt to press against his bare back, and the electricity they emitted was heavenly. Suddenly, he heard a giggle from a little ways away, and realized that they were out in the open, where any of the other campers might come upon them. He tried to pull back, but she pulled him closer. "Oh, Rob, Rob," she moaned, "don't leave me. I love you."

The words were like a bucket of glacial lake water over his head, and he stood up quickly, moving away from her as fast as he could. He could hardly bear to look at her, at her kissed lips, her mussed hair around her face, where he'd buried his fingers.

"How dare you?" he demanded. "You know, Lanette, that is the lowest you have sunk yet. It's one thing to use me for sex, at least that's honest, but to drag my emotions into it...you're sick. Toying me along this way because I stopped playing your little game." He turned and marched back to the camp. _She is just like Lucinda,_ he fumed. _Oh...how could I have fallen for the same type, twice?_

Carrie was sitting on a stump in the middle of the camp when Lanette returned. She was doing just...nothing, and looked very peaceful at it, as if she were concentrating all her energy on becoming part of the forest. Lanette didn't want to wreck the lovely mood, so she decided to join it, and sat down on the ground near Carrie. She tried to emulate the peaceful expression Carrie was wearing, and slow her breathing.

"Well, I guess you're upset," Carrie said after a few minutes.

"Why do you say that?" Lanette asked.

"Well, first you walked up here like a rhinoceros, sat down like a giraffe, and now you're breathing like a buffalo."

"I'm all the animal kingdom?"

"No, not all of it, just the clumsy ones. Now, you're not a clumsy girl, from what I've seen, so, I am guessing that you're upset."

Lanette sighed.

"Not to mention, I saw you leave to follow Rob after dinner, and now you're coming back without him..."

"Oh, you!" Lanette rapped Carrie's hiking boot. "All that animal kingdom mumbo-jumbo—what a fraud you are. Anyway, you're the one who caused all this trouble, since I was following your advice," Lanette said half-jokingly.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I told him I loved him, and he went berserk, and wouldn't have anything to do with me. And things were progressing rather nicely, until I said that, too," she grumbled.

Carrie looked at her proudly. "You actually spit the words out? Good for you!"

"What do you mean, good for me? It only made him mad!"

"Mad, huh? Well then, he must care. Angry's passionate, at least."

"Oh, great, he's passionately angry at me. What good is that?"

"Well, think about it. If he didn't care, he wouldn't get angry, would he?"

"Sure he would, if he didn't like me."

Carrie shook her head. "Not Rob. Think about it. He's the ultimate diplomat with Lena, and he doesn't like her. But it doesn't really bother him, deep down, so he doesn't bother to get mad about it. You, on the other hand, he does care about. That's why it matters to him, very much, what he thinks you feel. Naturally he would hate thinking you're using him for sex, if he feels like he's making love to you. Naturally he needs to know that you really mean it if you say you love him...I don't quite get why he'd fly off the handle so easily, though. What did you do to him?"

"Nothing. We were kissing, and he pulled away a bit, and I said, don't, I love you, and he flipped his lid." Lanette's voice was full of her frustration.

"Ahhh..." Carrie's face looked sorrowful. "So you used 'I love you' to try to get him to keep making love to you. Bad move."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see? You related it to sex, and you know he was already touchy about the idea that that was all you wanted from him...he might have thought this was just another tactic."

"He did say something about toying with his emotions," Lanette remembered.

"Hmm. You see? Maybe he's got some baddie in his past—didn't you tell me he was divorced?"

"Yes."

"Well, maybe his ex-wife was a real user, maybe she hurt him. Come on, Lanette, can't you see my point? Couldn't you be a little more sensitive to the poor guy? You just keep barging ahead like a steam train, expecting him to fall in with your plans. 'Make love to me, but be my friend.' 'Oh! I've changed my mind. I love you. Make love to me.'" It seems that all you ever communicate with him about, is wanting his body. But what are you giving in return?"

Lanette slumped and sighed and stared at the ground. "But I have been thinking of giving in, of moving to Canmore. You know that. But somehow every time we try to talk, this crazy passion between us gets in the way. And then I tried to tell him I love him, and he just went off the wall."

"Well, nobody said it would be easy. You hurt him pretty bad in the beginning, it sounds like, and I guess it'll take you a while to talk him back around."

"Especially when he won't talk to me."

"Hah! Carrie said. "You're lucky. At least you're getting something from him. It seems like all I can get from Joe is indifference and avoidance, and casual friendliness. Now _there's_ a guy who really doesn't care."

"Oh, no, you're wrong Carrie. I have been watching him, like I said I would, and he does care. Sometimes he watches you when you're not looking, but then he seems to catch himself at it, and make himself stop. He seems like a guy who's fighting himself pretty hard."

Carrie laughed. "You make him sound just like me. Who knows, maybe we'll win the fight, and never get together again!"

"Well, if that's what you both want..." Lanette said dubiously. "You know, at first, that was what I thought I wanted to...to just get Rob out of my system, so I could carry on as I was before. But the more time I spend with him, and the more time I spend out here, the more I want to be with him. So if you really want your old life back, you'd better stay away from Joe, completely."

Carrie sighed. "Good idea. Enough of this guy talk, anyway. I'm about ready to hit the sack. Didn't the climb tire you out today?"

"I guess so, but I loved it! My muscles have that lovely 'used' ache to them."

"That's good. You see, there are things you can love, this far away from home."

"Maybe." She remembered her earlier thoughts and asked, "Where's Lena?"

"Oh, she hit the sack ages ago. That little scramble really wore her out."

"Poor darling." They laughed. "Poor us! She's probably going to be complaining of sore muscles all day tomorrow!"

"I think the guys have a bit of a rest day planned, anyway. I don't think Rob feels like jumping back onto the mountain after that slip they had today...what about you?"

Lanette shrugged. "I guess it was pretty scary, but it's like getting bucked off a horse...you've just got to get back on as soon as possible, so you don't lose your nerve."

"Hey...that sounds like a good strategy for you and Rob...why don't you go after him and make him believe that you love him, make him believe you plan to be with him?"

Lanette sighed. "You're right, I'll have to do something. But not tonight. I'm feeling too emotional, too tired, too confused. I'll talk to him tomorrow, I promise."

"Maybe tomorrow, we could switch places. You start paying attention to Joe, and I'll fuss over Rob. Maybe that would shake them up, make them a little jealous, make them pay attention to us," Carrie suggested.

Lanette toyed with the idea, then sighed. "It's a tempting plan, Carrie, but I don't think I could pull it off. I'm too honest, and I'm not a very good actress. Besides, what if it backfired?"

Carrie's eyes sparkled. "Then it might be even more fun!"

"Hey!" Lanette protested. Keep your hands off my man!"

"He's not yours, yet, isn't that what you just told me?" Carrie teased.

"Carrie. Carrie. Carrie. Carrriiiiheheeee..." Lanette crooned, to the tune of _Jolene._ "I'm begging of you, please don't take my man."

"Hey, what's all that caterwauling out there?" grumbled Lena's sleepy voice from inside their tent.

"Sorry, we're just coming to bed," Lanette explained.

"I think you've got a lovely voice," Carrie whispered. "Caterwauling, my foot. Where does that chick get off? Maybe I should play up to the man _she's_ got her eyes on, tomorrow, instead."

"Oh, behave. Besides, I thought you'd decided she was nice, just lonely?"

Carrie sighed. "Yeah. I guess this situation with Joe is stressing me out. Then it's easier for her little annoying antics to get on my nerves."

"So why don't _you_ just get back on the horse and ride it, instead of just preaching to me, and thinking up devious tactics, instead of honestly letting him know how you feel?"

"Because I don't know how I feel," Carrie explained simply, though the fact clearly frustrated her.

"Hm." Lanette nodded her head sympathetically. "Tough one."

"Come on, let's hit the sack."

# Epilogue

Lanette trembled a little in her grandmother's ivory wedding gown as the heat of Rob's eyes reached her down the aisle.

_You move like a dream,_ he'd said the night he met her. _It's not a stretch to imagine you in silks and satins._

_Why did I fight this for so long?_ she asked herself, as the happiness welled up inside her. _I knew then, that we would marry, didn't I?_ In retrospect, it seemed that deep down, she must have always known Rob was the one.

But it had taken her a long time to come to this stage.

After the camping trip, she had been true to her word and arranged to move from Brooks to Canmore as soon as she could. Once she had made her decision, she had been surprised to discover that she only looked forward to the move, and didn't harbour any regrets about leaving the prairie.

She had not expected the overwhelming approval she got from her parents, either. "I always thought you wanted me to marry a nice cowboy and settle down near here," she told her mother.

"Only because that was what you seemed to want, Lanette. We only want you to be happy. Think about it, dear," Melba had said. "If my great-grandparents had been afraid of going somewhere new, they never would have come here, in the first place."

Lanette had never looked at her history that way before, and she thanked her mother for the insight. It made her feel more right about the direction her life seemed to be taking, although she was still hesitant over the newness of it all.

Carrie had also decided to make the move to Canmore from the Kananaskis. "I needed a change," Carrie claimed, but Lanette suspected it was really to be closer to Joe. Not that Carrie would admit anything of the sort, of course. The two girls had moved in together, and enjoyed sharing the apartment and not taking the men in their lives too fast.

She had discovered that Rob had already bought the only stable in Canmore, months ago. Apparently he had gotten the idea after a conversation with her father. "It was a good investment," he had defended. "In fact, I heard through the grapevine that the owner was thinking of selling, so I snapped it up, before it even went on the market, and made a very good deal."

At first, she had been furious with him. She had always envisioned doing everything towards her new business, herself. "Fine, then you can buy it back from me, if it's that damned important to you," Rob had raged at her. "But I would prefer to give it to you, and I don't need the money." In the end, she had discovered it was wonderful to be able to spend the money she had saved on making improvements, rather than on mortgage payments. And, of course, there was no question of her having to sell Malki, this way.

"You treat that horse like a movie star," Rob grumbled one day as she was replacing the old boards in Malki's stall with shiny new ones. She had had his name carved right into the boards, to replace the simple name plate that most of the horses had tacked on the fronts of their stalls.

"If it wasn't for him, the mares wouldn't be getting pregnant, and having such lovely foals," she reminded him. "So, he is the star, in a way."

"I guess so," he conceded.

Then, amazingly, Melchizedek did become a movie star, when a movie company came to ask if they could use the stable in a film they were making, and wanted to include some shots of the heroine on Malki galloping across a meadow. The money she'd earned from that little adventure had allowed her to buy three high-quality new mares.

Life was busy and exciting and the time flew by. Lanette was too engrossed in her new life to miss the prairie. She enjoyed her relationship with Rob, and she'd learned more and more the joys of sharing life's tasks with him, until, by the end of a year, they hardly did anything separately. With life so busy, it was easy to put off any decision-making about permanency. So when he asked her to marry him at the end of that year, she had balked, still not sure that it was necessary. Instead, she had agreed to move in with him, finally. Somehow it seemed a smaller step to take.

She had been wrong again when she had assumed that he lived in a crowded house in town. He lived in a marvellous log home ten minutes away from the urban bustle, and had a lovely view of a small lake surrounded by the forest. He had added a large solarium to the kitchen when he'd bought the home, and grew a profusion of plants, including the fabulous tomatoes he had brought for their picnic that day. Lanette loved to sit in the middle of the "greenhouse" and soak up the humid atmosphere, loved the fact that her lover had created it with his own two hands, with his fantastically creative mind.

As the days, the weeks, the months passed, life with him, waking up beside him, cooking together, sharing their meals and hearts and minds, only seemed to get better. When she came home one day, excited to tell him about the day's happenings at the stable, and then remembered that he was on an overnight trip with clients, she realized that she had grown dependent on him. The thought did not scare her, the way it always had, and she regretted, suddenly, that she had turned down his proposals of marriage. _What if he doesn't want to get married anymore?_ she worried, but didn't find the courage to broach the subject with him. As time went on, her shyness seemed to grow in proportion with an urgency for the ultimate commitment. Her own inability to speak her mind had driven her crazy for three months.

On her thirtieth birthday, more than two years after she first met Rob, they went out to the Grizzly Paw for a celebratory meal with a group of friends. An old-fashioned band was playing some lovely soft jazz and blues, and after dinner, slightly tipsy, happy, Lanette had been inspired. She made her way to the stage as the band was about to take a break and asked if they would let her sing.

They knew the song she asked for, and her hand was sure and steady as she picked up the microphone and turned to the audience. Her eyes were only for Rob as she began to croon the old love song she had grown up hearing Marty Robbins sing on their old record player.

_You made me love you,_

_I didn't want to do it_

_I didn't want to do it_

The crowd fell silent as they watched her, watching Rob as she sang. Something special was going on.

_Give me give me give me_

_What I cry for_

_You know you got the kind of kisses_

_That I'd die for_

_You know you made me love you._

As the last notes of the song fell away, there were tears on a few faces. "Rob Langevin, will you marry me?" Lanette asked, and all eyes swivelled to him as they waited breathlessly for his response.

The biggest smile she'd ever seen split his face, and long strides carried him to the stage. He swept her up in an enormous bear hug, and kissed her breathless, amid the cheers of the crowd.

_And that,_ Lanette thought with satisfaction as she drew abreast of Rob at the front of the church, _was the most worthwhile thing I have ever done._

The End

# Also by Christa Bedwin

### Two Secrets and a Chase

Carrie loves Joe. Joe loves Carrie. Everybody else in town seems to know it, but these two have been best friends for so long that speaking of changed feelings seems...impossible. They think about each other constantly and say nothing.

After a year and feeling there's no way around the impasse, Carrie decides to pack her bags and go for the time-honoured heart cure: a good walkabout. Before Joe knows it, Carrie has jetted to the other side of the world.

That wakes him up! He's got to go after her. However, as he soon learns, getting close to Carrie and catching her are not the same thing.

...

"I hear Joe was out with Shalimar again on Saturday," Lanette said. She and Carrie were sitting with their feet up on the balcony of their apartment, having a cool drink and watching the sun set over the mountains.

"Good for Joe," Carrie said.

"You're not fooling me," Lanette said. "You look like you've been sucker-punched every time you hear his name. Why don't you fight for him at least a little bit?"

Carrie snorted. "You've seen Shalimar. I don't have that kind of sultry beauty."

Lanette snorted back at her. "It's only skin deep with that one. And you know darn well that you're attractive enough—you used to know that, at least. Besides, it isn't only Shalimar. He's been dating lots of women."

"Except me," Carrie reminded her.

"Exactly! Don't you think that means something?"

Carrie sighed wearily. "Lanette, we've been over this before. If Joe really wanted to be with me instead of those other girls, he would be. He always made time for me when we were friends. Now suddenly he's too busy. He just doesn't want to see me."

"Maybe not," Lanette argued. "Maybe that one night between you meant just as much to him, as it has to you. Maybe now he cares more than before, and he's afraid to talk to you."

"Afraid? Fearless Joe Bantrim? Get real, Lanette."

"Don't you at least want your friendship with him back? How do you know he's not pining for you in the same way you are for him?"

"I'm getting better," Carrie insisted.

"You're getting better at hiding it. But you still want him like crazy, no matter how much it hurts. Carrie, you've got to do _something_! I'm just so tired of seeing you moping around."

Carrie stared blankly at the table while she fiddled with the beer bottle, peeling the sticky label off. "Like what?" she asked morosely.

"How about telling him how you feel?"

"No. That would only embarrass him, Lanny, and then things really _would_ be worse than they are now. This is a small town. I can't just go flaunting my feelings in front of the whole community. You know how gossip spreads here."

"Do you really think they're not gossiping about you already?" Lanette demanded.

Carrie gave her a sharp look.

"Everyone knows you two were good friends. Now you pass each other on the street and barely nod hello. In the old days you would have stopped to chat with each other for half an hour."

"Maybe we're just busy," Carrie insisted.

"Come on, Carrie. You can fool some of the people, some of the time, but you can't fool all of us, for this long."

"So what do you expect me to do? Act blasé and casual and cheerful? I'm sorry, but I just _cannot_ make easy conversation with him. I have tried, you know."

"But not lately, Carrie. It's been nearly a year since that night. Joe seems to be friendly enough whenever he has seen you recently. It doesn't seem to me like he's pushing you away."

Carrie blew her breath out in frustration. "Can't you see? That's exactly it. He's acting just like he always did. Nothing has changed, as far as he's concerned. It was all a bit of fun for him. But that's not how it was for me."

"But have you ever let him know that, Carrie? Maybe he's just waiting for a sign from you."

"I've never seen Joe wait for a sign from anyone, before going after what he wants. I won't do it, Lanette."

"Well, then, why don't you give him a jolt the other way? Leave town, and force him to realize how much he misses you."

"If I was smart, I would just leave town, and stay gone, find someone else."

"Hmmm...That's not such a bad idea. Get away from everything for a while. It might put some life back in you. You've been so glum lately, you've been bringing me down, too."

The idea began to take shape in Carrie's mind. "You know, I have been so busy working and saving up to open my own café, that I haven't been out of the country in years. I love the Rockies, but a change of scene might be just the thing to clear Joe out of my head once and for all."

"If travel won't clear it, nothing will," Lanette agreed. "I ought to know." Lanette had been a travel agent before starting the horse training business she ran now, and had travelled half the countries in the world. "I am sure I can use some old contacts to get you a bargain on tickets...there is no need to blow all of your savings for your business. You could even classify it as research, before you open your own establishment. Write it off for taxes, maybe."

Carrie smiled, pleased that at last she had a plan to do something positive about getting over Joe. "That's a good idea! And not so far-fetched, after all. It would be interesting to know how other small business owners set their own cafés up, to get some feel about how they have succeeded, and failed, and learn from that."

"Good! I'm glad you like it. And it's such a good cover story, even the town gossips won't be able to pick at it. Now, where do you want to go?"

"You're the travel agent, Lanette. What do you suggest?"

Lanette suggested they make a list of Carrie's priorities, and that Carrie spend a few days researching the places she was interested in, and mulling over her choice. It was work Carrie did gladly. At least it seemed like a step forward, to get her out of the rut she'd been in for the past year, waiting for something to happen with Joe.

...
