 
#

# Prayers Poems Songs

## By Cesar

M CESAR

Copyright (C) 2012 Cesar

All rights reserved.

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#  Introduction

This book is a collection of writings which I wrote over a period of a couple of years, roughly from the ages of seventeen to nineteen. These writings were intended originally just be something personal between myself and God, with the possibility of using some of the writings for lyrics of songs.

However as time went on, some of the writings became more than just lyrics, some were prayers, some were much more poetic and some were just about me having a rant at the things that were going on in my life at the time.

It was a strange process for me to look back at things I had written many years ago, however in saying that, there are many of the prayers where I ask for things which have since materialized into my life, so this book is intended as a dedication to God as he has been faithful to me and looked after me. I would also like to take the opportunity to thank all those people who where an inspiration to me in my teenage years which include Joe & Claire, Herbert & Jean, Carol, Melissa, Becca, Karen & Daren, Mike, Ken the drummer and all my family.

****The prayers poems and songs have all been editing into poem format for this book, therefore the beginning of each line starts with a capitol letter. Furthermore it was decided to use the format as used in Psalms from the NIV Bible, in terms of only using capitol letters when referring to God, or other names under which he is known.

# CHAPTER 1

1. Playing God

Who laid the foundations of the world?  
No one except the Lord our God,  
And it detests me to think  
Of how men play god,  
Putting their seemingly perfect GM foods,  
Into this atmosphere,  
But I know that what God  
Made is perfect, because it doesn't  
Just have to be perfect for us  
But also for animals and insects,  
God will not look easily down,  
On those who do not accept  
His creations and want  
To play god, it sickens me too

2. Queen of Frost

She's the queen of frost  
That freezes my soul and causes me to  
Stop in my boots,  
She goes by the name of -  
And all she does  
Is freeze my soul,  
I fall to the ground  
Until Jesus comes  
To receive me and take me back  
But I go back  
Into the affair  
Because she is part of me,  
She is evil  
And she drags me in  
And she goes by the  
Name of sin,  
Jesus has released me  
From my sins  
By forgiving me once,  
That will cover all my sin,  
And even though I  
Go back to sinning now and then,  
I know I will return  
To the Saviour of my life  
Because he will rescue me

3. See His eyes

I wonder about those  
Who walked with Jesus,  
Especially the twelve,  
These people were the only ones  
To see God's work through Jesus  
While here on earth,  
In a way, I'm jealous,  
I wish I had been there  
To see his miracles  
And hear his teachings  
And to see into his eyes,  
And that he would see into my heart,  
But I am alive now, not then,  
And it doesn't mean I can't  
See God's works, because I can,  
But I want to  
See his eyes,  
Hear his voice,  
Face to face,  
And I know I will do  
The day I'm in heaven

4. See my Sin

It was a complex system,  
Of crossing wires and  
Explosive devices,  
Charged to explode  
Jesus came walking by,  
Saw me and disarmed  
A potential danger to myself,  
Little did I know  
What I was like  
And what I was doing  
Till Jesus opened my eyes,  
And I could see my sin

5. Self-control

This is the biggest thing  
I've had problems with, in my spiritual life  
Because it covers such a wide area,  
Lord, I ask that you'll help  
Me to refine myself  
From such things you don't agree of,  
Like a bad humour, or sour face,  
These things I must throw away,  
And take on the attitude of Jesus,  
So that people won't look at me in scorn  
Or rejection because  
I say one thing and do another,  
So Lord please help

6. Sometime soon

I have heard rumours  
And rumours of rumours,  
Of how revival is striking countries,  
This is how I know the end  
Is sometime soon,  
Because earthquakes are more  
Common just as other natural tragedies,  
I need to prepare for the day  
You return, because I don't  
Want to look back in remorse or regret,  
I need to live every day  
With the state of mind that  
'Jesus is coming tonight'  
How much more would I  
Do on such a day?  
For if everyone  
Knew Jesus was coming  
Next week for example,  
They would do so much,  
And really give everything to God

7. Stalemate to Checkmate

My soul longs for a close touch  
With you Lord,  
I have always loved to spend time  
In your presence, because it gives  
Me such joy  
I am so angry at myself,  
Because I am holding back,  
I would do anything to move forward  
But I don't, because I myself hinder it,  
It just won't sink in Lord,  
My mind fights with my soul,  
Fighting for control but at  
The moment they're at a cease fire,  
And have settled for stalemate,  
But the truth of it is,  
I need my soul to win,  
Lord, I'm asking you,  
To break my mind down  
So I won't hinder  
What my heart is saying to me

8. The Lord Spoke

The Lord spoke to me  
And said, you shall seek me,  
You shall find me with all of your heart,  
And something in my heart moved,  
Because I didn't expect a sound,  
It encouraged me, that I do have a hope  
And I do have a future,  
But first I have to seek God,  
And everything else will fall into place,  
I just don't know where to start,  
I'm afraid, almost reluctant,  
For I've failed before, as God knows,  
So I think I should trust in him,  
I need to have a lot more faith,  
And I need to seek God

9. Through Them

When I see what happens in the church I attend,  
I get so encouraged with what you are doing there,  
And what you're achieving,  
You are sending blessing down,  
And the people there are loving,  
And really stand with you,  
So it's not just encouragement  
But a challenge for me to be more like you Jesus,  
So I thank you for them,  
And the way you speak to me through them

10. Time Enough

Strong attitudes have turned weak,  
Because I have let myself slip,  
Though I believe in my heart as I did,  
My mind lacks strength  
To stick to those beliefs within my life,  
I have become a  
Whining puppy that wants comfort  
Am I, a man or a mouse?  
I have lived shorter  
Time with God than without  
I put things before him,  
Like he's a discarded friend  
And in no way  
Do I want it like this!  
But I can't apply myself to  
Solving the problem,  
I must wake up to the hurt I must be causing  
To God and myself  
Because he cares for me,  
And loves me,  
And he gets a cold shoulder,  
I can't warm up

11. Time of Renewal

Many years I spent  
Without God,  
And now I truly want  
To talk with him,  
No longer do I wish to fail,  
And no longer do I want to sin,  
Lord, I ask that you'll bring  
A time of renewal to my heart,  
So that I'll bear fruit,  
And truly walk with you

12. Trust

Trust in Jesus I have  
And hold to him,  
Because he holds the running of my life,  
I can't cope without  
The love that he offers me,  
It's not unusual for me to fail,  
Or to fall away,  
But I hope I shall stand strong  
In the Lord,  
And his desires will be mine,  
And his plan will be mine,  
And his words will be mine,  
I love Jesus Christ,  
Lord of my life

13. Tug of War

Torn between two worlds  
The bad, the ugly and insane,  
Against the good,  
I am the rope in  
The middle of a tug of war,  
Reefed out of it  
By both sides  
And stretched to  
My full capability,  
Then which ever is the  
Strongest is the winner,  
And although Jesus has  
Always been the winner over me,  
There have been many battles,  
And there will be many more,  
But I always want Jesus to win,  
And I can count on him  
Because, he is, the strongest

14. Unknown to me

Unknown to me are many  
Of life's questions let alone the answers,  
As I move forward in my life,  
I learn as I go,  
And gain experience,  
I'm just a newcomer to this world,  
It's been around thousands of years  
And I'm here just a few,  
I am blessed that I am chosen  
So why do I act the way I do,  
I really don't think  
I will anymore,  
I can feel it in my heart now,  
I believe I draw close to a time,  
Of heart poured out worship  
And I'll break down in tears,  
And from that point on,  
I'll have but one thing  
On my mind – God

15. Visions

Visions I have seen  
I have sought and still seek,  
They would appear in a dream,  
Or come to me as I pray,  
Though, they seem to me  
To be far away,  
Just as promises from God, are,  
It's all in my head  
Because to follow his plan  
I need to walk and talk  
With him daily and I don't,  
So how could I know whether  
These are close to me in time,  
Or how to prepare,  
Or what I have to achieve  
To get to those  
Visions in my heart,  
I'm afraid I know the answer  
But I can't face it yet,  
But my soul hopes it will

16. What do I do?

What am I supposed to do with this life of mine?  
How do I spend my years?  
How do I spend my life?  
What will I achieve, what will I gain  
From my gift I received?  
These questions I can only answer when I die,  
But God can answer them now,  
And as long as he knows my future,  
I shall have strength  
Because I know he is with me

17. Who am I

Who am I to change this world?  
Who am I, but just a man?  
Many have asked, many have said  
If you could change one thing  
In the world what would it be?  
To this question I have no immediate answer  
But if I was to sit and think,  
I would preferably say,  
I would change Christian's hearts  
To live fully, outright for God  
And that all those that have fallen away  
Would return in repentance,  
Then I believe God could use us all  
In such a mighty way;  
Through the way we live our lives  
And through the way we talk about God

18. Wisdom

Gain knowledge from God  
And as much as you can  
I tell myself,  
I could be a lot stronger,  
If I were a tiny bit wiser,  
There are many things  
I can't comprehend,  
But which I want to understand,  
It's in my heart  
I need to trust,  
And I need to get  
What my heart needs  
To grow closer to God,  
And it's asking for  
Knowledge from God  
From his word,  
Wisdom to take in  
What God says  
And understanding  
To apply it to my life

19. You are precious

I press on, slowly  
As it may seem  
Almost as if carefully  
So I don't repeat this flem,  
Because now I want to walk  
And spend my time in talk  
With you Lord Jesus,  
For you are precious  
It's not that I don't love you  
But it's the state of crew  
In my mind  
Because I can't find  
My way out  
But without  
Me giving up -  
I press on, slowly  
As it may seem  
Almost as if carefully  
So I don't repeat this flem

20. You changed me

I'm proud of you Lord,  
No, I'm not ashamed  
I can look back to when  
I was young and  
Compare it to myself now,  
So much has changed about me,  
And you're the one that's done it  
And I thank you,  
A lot of my sinful nature  
You took away from my heart,  
And with it anger and hate,  
This I am so glad for,  
Because you replaced it with peace and love,  
Yes, I still want  
To grow more,  
I won't settle to  
Live the rest of my life  
As it stands now,  
But I hope your plan is unfolding  
In my life

21. An Example for You

I hope I'm a witness for the Lord  
In some way or another,  
Hopefully by setting an example  
Of God's way of living life that  
They might see the true way,  
By no means am I a perfect example,  
But even if it's only in a small way,  
I'm sure the Lord will be grateful  
If I stand strong in my beliefs,  
And I hope, day by day, my belief in you will grow,  
So that their vision of you through me  
Will grow too, bigger and stronger,  
I do this for the glory of God

22. April Fools

Time has come for April fools  
People that mess with others tools,  
Which no one can deny of the crap they get off  
Those who think it's just a funny joke  
Go ahead and poke,  
However a point will come of no more stupid tongue,  
Where being a fool wraps one like a spool  
Of thread except in sin and because of all their din  
A time will come for April fools  
People that mess with others tools,  
There ain't nothing they can do except run  
Because the Lord comes, O yes, the Lord comes

23. A United Vision

I think I used to live with  
Both of my loves conflicting in mind,  
But this was my entire fault,  
And it was not either of theirs,  
After time I've regained what  
It was at the start  
And hopefully the three of us  
Will spend our lives  
In unity together,  
Sharing each and every moment together,  
This should be so,  
As I step to marry the one whom I love,  
We will both keep loving  
The third person in our relationship – Jesus,  
We will not forget  
What he has done for us,  
Nor will we forget  
How he brought us together,  
I think all that things that have  
Happened or haven't to me  
Have done so because  
Jesus knew you would come to me

24. Be the Rock

Strength and power to his name,  
Glory and honour to his name,  
He is Jesus, exalted above all heaven,  
I love you Lord, Lord be mighty in my life,  
Lord be the Rock on which I stand,  
Lord be the name, through which I declare  
Of the wonders you've created,  
Lord, I stand, in surrender,  
So come and take my life  
And use it as strong as you can

25. Build a Stronghold

I want to touch what my heart wants to hold close to  
Never before have I been so willing  
To search for what my heart desires,  
I am new to this, and this is new to I,  
I'm holding myself back because I'm trying  
To run under huge force however I'm not stopping myself.  
I'm just feel that this is the time,  
This is the moment come around again,  
Except I better not fail,  
I feel that if I jump into it, I'll have no stronghold with  
Which to base my step of faith on,  
This stronghold, we are building,  
Jesus and I together, building a hope,  
A future for me,  
There's a chance I will fall again,  
But I'll pray and hope that I won't, ever, again

# CHAPTER 2

26. Caffeine

I get so tired and feel so sleepy  
Unable to cope with exhaustion, taking it away  
With what makes it worse,  
Drawn to this simple thing  
Which no one thinks will do harm,  
I wake up every morning to it  
And say good night with one,  
Lord help me conquer  
My physical addictiveness to this,  
And emotionally stay clear,  
No longer do I wish myself to be dependent on this  
But dependent on you

27. Calling all people

Come in all you people  
Because the Lord is inviting you in  
He died to wash you clean from sin,  
So that now the door is open for you to come,  
No, don't turn away, because  
Jesus is the only way to heaven,  
Be careful how you treat him  
Come in all you people,  
For you are at his feast,  
Sat at his banqueting table, and eating your fill,  
No, don't starve while food is offered  
Or thirst while wine sits in front of you,  
No, eat and drink your fill

28. Call Out

The words have flowed away,  
So that I can no longer write,  
I have nothing more to say,  
My heart has spoken and I've refused to listen,  
I'm taking my chance, yet I'm  
Not doing it properly,  
I know what I should and shouldn't do,  
And ignoring that fact turns the tap  
To wash away the words I have,  
Like Adam I'm hiding in a bush ashamed,  
Waiting on God to find me,  
But I, however, want to be found  
But my camouflage is so heavy,  
That even God sees me and knows I'm there  
He walks on by  
He takes my camouflage to heart and says  
'He doesn't want to be found, let him stay'  
Yet my heart cries for him,  
My soul is empty for a space to be filled,  
And love which fills it, is walking by,  
And I'm not calling out

29. Consists Of

I desperately try to find  
And desperately try to seek,  
For how else can I draw near?  
Your words of life mean a lot to me, you spoke  
And also applied it to your life,  
If only I could be so strong  
In the way I live my life,  
I can't imagine life without you  
Because you're my hope,  
My life revolves around you,  
And my life consists only of you

30. Decisions

My soul is shouting  
And crying with tears flowing,  
It's crying for food and water,  
Knowledge and love  
I should probably look after myself  
And now, I aim to do so  
I wish to huddle close with Jesus,  
And gain all that's been promised,  
And pray for his will now,  
At this very time in my life,  
So young am I, such big decisions  
I have made and have to make,  
And I have quite a few now

31. I've returned

Lord, I come before your majesty  
To praise you, for I have been away,  
And now I want to draw near,  
For I have sinned, and I need to be forgiven,  
Lord come down to me, where my heart is,  
And carry me up to where you are,  
Change my heart, so that  
I'll desire your presence more and more,  
Lord, I come before your majesty to praise you,  
Lord I've returned to you,  
To share my life with you, and to walk with you,  
Closer than ever before

32. Jesus, my friend

I'm lying in waiting upon myself, waiting  
For me to expand, grow and walk with Jesus  
I've waited in the waiting room for weeks,  
Months even, and now my name  
Has come through the speaker,  
So now, it's my time,  
I need to be fixed, so I can stay strong again,  
I also wish my stumbling blocks to disappear,  
Because I miss Jesus, he was my best friend  
Until I left him behind,  
And now I'm asking forgiveness  
And for that friendship back

33. Keep a hold of Him

A small change happened for me yesterday  
Because I could reach out and grab God's promise,  
But this small change  
Is making a big change in my heart,  
It's like the start of something new,  
I hope from my heart  
That nothing will come and ruin it  
For me and for God,  
And I'll keep on praying for help,  
I need to start building this now,  
And put my life back together,  
Step by step, day by day,  
To build my spirit stronger  
In the power of God,  
Don't get me wrong  
Life is not easy,  
And that's why I need God  
And I never want to loose him again,  
And I think it's that thought  
That will keep me going  
Until I can discipline myself  
To spend a lot of time with God

34. Kindness

I ask myself,  
Do I help people as much as I could?  
Many of times I've walked  
By people who have nothing  
Like one on the halfpenny bridge,  
Looking back, I cannot believe  
How selfish I was not to share what I have!  
I hope I can be more kind  
To them in the future,  
But not just to them but to everyone,  
I must conquer that part of me  
That doesn't want to share,  
I should smile more,  
Talk with kindness to everyone,  
I should do so,  
For the glory of God,  
As he done it for me

35. Living proof

As Jesus walked  
Along the road, surrounded by crowds  
Calling, "Jesus, Jesus"  
Through all this noise,  
He could still distinguish  
To hear one voice, of someone  
Who really needed his healing power,  
People would crowd  
Just for a touch  
Of his clothes or hands,  
But the thing about Jesus  
Was his gift of distinguishing  
All those who needed his healing,  
So it was for me,  
He heard my cry,  
No louder than any other,  
And chose me,  
Yes, he came and healed me -  
Just because he is now in heaven  
Doesn't mean he hasn't stopped  
Healing people,  
Because I am living proof

36. Me, I'm not mine

It's not up to me how I spend my time  
Because it all belongs to God  
If he says go here, I go,  
Because he paid for me, I am his,  
When decisions come to life,  
I need to turn to God for advice so I don't stray,  
When problems come to me, I turn to God  
Because I can't deal with them,  
He is the one to trust, because he will never  
Leave me or forsake me, but will always stand over  
My life and watch out for me  
And keep his eyes on me

37. Mocking

It's no fun to me when people mock  
Who I am, what I look like,  
Where I'm from and what I believe,  
I have to hold back my anger,  
And ask Jesus to help me stay quiet,  
And stay without a punch or kick,  
Because if I get violent  
How much more would they mock?  
Because I'd be a hypocrite of my beliefs,  
A rebel against my upbringing,  
And look a complete fool,  
I wouldn't even be myself!

38. Music

Jesus my Lord, as you did at what  
I call the start please do again,  
Because I remember the joy of learning,  
And I remember how you taught me,  
I admit I haven't been,  
And it hasn't sunk in  
That practice makes perfect,  
Because I'm ignoring my gifts,  
Once again, in spite of this,  
I want to learn,  
And I'm asking you to  
Teach me as before -  
All for your glory Lord  
Teach me Lord, please, amen

39. New Start

I plan to pray every day  
And to be faithful and joyful  
Because God is able  
To heal my heart,  
I am comfortable  
With my new start,  
I am a new creation  
Bought with Jesus' blood,  
I'll put in a bit of concentration  
And his Spirit shall come in flood

40. One Day Stand

Many adults and children  
Have been to a camp, a club or church  
And have heard the message  
That Jesus came to save,  
Some ignored it,  
In one ear, out the other,  
Some believed it,  
Followed it and walk with God now,  
The rest, believed it  
And with every intention of following Jesus,  
But due to lack of faith  
It would turn out to be their  
One day stand,  
For their next day  
They faced life without Jesus,  
Leaving him behind,  
And he was soon forgotten,  
A decision in the past  
Now ignored, now hindered,  
Oh for the lack of faith they had  
For it lasted not very long,  
Just a one day stand with God,  
Yes it's sad,  
Yes I cry, for they were my friends

41. Few and Far between

I have wanted for so long to be as I used to be,  
And now's a huge chance  
For me to take what  
God is offering me,  
And has offered for years,  
I have to be sure I don't miss my chance;  
So I'll have to take it carefully, so I don't mess it up,  
I want my heart to be strong,  
I want my life to be good,  
And this is my chance

42. Going Nowhere?

I'm fed up with the position  
In which I stand,  
For I'm going nowhere,  
And doing nothing,  
And I want to, in the power  
Of the Holy Spirit,  
To live according to God's will is what I want,  
Where do I start to  
Get me back on track?  
Lord show me  
And speak to me  
Through your words  
For I feel lost  
And want to be found

43. Hear my song

Lift him up; lift him up on high,  
For he's my Saviour and Lord of the heavens,  
He is Jesus Christ, who came and saved me,  
So, though unworthy,  
I come, in repentance  
To praise your name,  
Hear my song oh Lord,  
And come to heal my heart

44. Help Me Today

I find I love to hate  
Where I should hate to hate  
But no one can duplicate  
What Jesus does when I'm in this state,  
He opens up his word  
And when I read in content  
I can move a little forward,  
And come out of my little bubble-tent,  
I find I hate to love  
Where I should love to love,  
I should be the same as the dove  
For he is pure and white in love,  
But no one can say  
What I want to be  
I don't want to decay,  
But the opposite, Lord help me today

45. Hope for Tomorrow

Once again, night time has come  
As I retire to my bed,  
Another day over,  
Another to come,  
One day wasted,  
What have I done?  
Nothing at all, except, waste God's time  
As I retire to my bed,  
No hope today,  
No hope tomorrow,  
For I feel at such a great loss,  
What have I gained?  
What have I learned?  
Nothing but jibbling nonsense  
Nothing but waste,  
But I hope there will be days  
That I won't waste,  
Where at night  
As I retire to bed,  
I can say, I done my best  
I learned a lot,  
And go to sleep easy  
With a hope for tomorrow

46. Hope in Jesus

Lord, I'm looking at myself,  
Lord, I give you my all,  
My heart, my mind, my body,  
It's yours,  
My life, my relationships and problems,  
They're yours,  
My money, my possessions, my family  
I give to you,  
For you died to save me,  
Then you chose me as yours  
Lord I give you  
Everything I have and own,  
To use for your purpose,  
Take my will and  
Change it to your will,  
For I am dirty in sin,  
Only for the blood of Jesus  
Do I have any hope at all?  
For I was lost and blind,  
Now I'm saved and can see you

47. Hope to Cope

I look up to people in the Bible  
Like Noah and Job for they had no prob  
About trust, faith and hope in God,  
I'll hope I'll be near as good,  
For they were pure in heart,  
And all I do is dart away from my hopes,  
But one thing is sure, those hopes  
Are that I'll be like them,  
One fine day, just like them and I'll follow God,  
With all the good in my heart so I won't dart  
So I hope I'll cope and be one with God

48. Ireland's Cry

Lord, when I think about this land in which I live  
I can almost hear it cry out for peace, and for healing,  
Some people still hold to their violence,  
Some of which do it for the buzz,  
Some of which do it out of hate  
And some of which out of cause, Lord, I pray and ask  
That those still involved in the war of wills,  
That you would reach them and change their hearts,  
So that they can love  
Instead of hate, and forgive, Lord, un-blind  
Their eyes to the hurt they cause, I pray this because,  
I'd like to see the land united,  
Not by politicians but with your love, and with revival

49. It's been too long

It's been a long time  
Since I've done this,  
Over six months ago,  
And though I've felt I've always  
Been able to lead worship,  
I'm out of practice,  
Lord, I'm writing to you,  
To ask for your help  
With my confidence,  
And to get over the state  
Of failure in my mind  
To which I retired  
All those months ago,  
I felt within myself  
Unworthy to be in that position  
Because of my sin,  
Lord, I ask you'll help  
Me to pick those songs,  
And help me for  
This week is a  
Very vital week for me

50. It's hard to ignore

It's hard for me to ignore  
God's creations from here on the earth,  
The sun, sky, moon and stars,  
All of which he made,  
But I know mainly only of this earth  
And what's here,  
Millions of species with their  
Own singularity and differences  
And I thank you Lord for them,  
But us, Lord, the humans,  
We destroy your planet  
Like we own it and don't care about it,  
All the stuff we take  
From the ground or under,  
Only to give back to the earth  
Pollution and acid-rain,  
And I'm taking it under my wing  
To speak about it,  
Because I'm responsible for my part,  
And I want to say sorry Lord,  
Sorry I'm destroying your creations

# CHAPTER 3

51. The Rock

I look up and see, see a mighty Rock  
He is a Refuge for the weak  
A Fortress not to be shaken  
-  
You, O God, are strong, you, O God, are loving  
Strength to support us,  
And love to heal us  
-  
Find rest in him, rest in him alone,  
He's the source of my hope  
And my joy,  
A Fortress not to be shaken  
-  
Hear my cry, O God listen to my prayer  
As my heart grows faint,  
Lead me to the Rock,  
You're a strong tower  
-  
The shelter of your wings  
And the foundation of the Rock  
Build me closer, closer and nearer,  
Teach me O Lord, I ask

52. This is the place

When I pick up my guitar,  
When I touch the keys of my piano  
And play songs of worship to you,  
I close my eyes and rest in your presence,  
Your presence of peace and of joy  
For this is the place  
Where my heart is filled  
For this is the place where I'm happy  
-  
Because I worship you  
I draw near to you, Lord  
I really worship you,  
Please draw near to me Lord,  
I seek your presence  
-  
Lord send your Holy Spirit down on me,  
Lord send your power down on me,  
To carry my heart up to you  
I close my eyes and rest in your presence,  
Your presence of love, and of rest  
For this is my home  
Where my heart is happy  
For this is my home  
Where I'm fulfilled

53. to My Knees

It's the fear of it that drives me away  
My spirit seems so strong to go  
But my mind holds back because  
Simply and plainly – I'm afraid,  
Now I know it's not the way to be  
And it doesn't have to be this way -  
All I have to do,  
Is let my spirit lead my mind,  
Then once I'm walking in power with God  
My mind will get accustomed to it,  
But how do I make this step,  
When already I'm afraid to take it,  
I have to remember back to my  
First love with God,  
Remember the pulse of my heart  
And the power as Jesus became my life,  
The tears that dropped from my sobbing eyes,  
In surrender to the King of kings,  
Yes, I remember now,  
I got on my knees  
And gave my life to Jesus  
And I think now I must return  
To my knees  
In tears of repentance  
And surrender my weakened mind  
To the Lord of my new life

54. Turmoil

Don't be shocked, don't be startled  
But I am a cause that made  
Jesus die on the man-made-tree,  
I'm disgusted with the fact  
That knowing this, I still sin,  
His blood flowed for me,  
And I show no gratitude for it,  
Simply a sinner  
With nothing to give,  
God said "give me you"  
So I did and now  
He arrayed me with gifts,  
And I've come to know him,  
But it doesn't change the  
Fact I hate sinning  
And what it does inside to me,  
Sometimes I cry to go home  
But God's work for me here  
Ain't finished, so I stay

55. Forever

When I think back at the childhood  
I wished for, I wanted  
All the things I wanted  
Were obsolete once I knew the right way,  
You see I changed inside, my spirit born new and  
Clean symbolized Jesus' pow'r ov'r sin,  
You see love of a Father, a best friend was  
What was needed in my heart  
And to know my sin was paid for by Jesus just made  
Me feel so accepted, and here with my new family  
In its new home I always want to be and always  
Want to stay, forever

56. White-washer

Its amazing the power you show  
Every time you bring someone to know you,  
Because you take a black heart,  
Filthy dirty, oozing with sin,  
And whitewash it clean,  
Then as long as that person  
Leaves the door to their heart open  
Everyday you can come and clean it,  
I can really say that you are such a true Saviour,  
You're such an awesome God, I can't believe it,  
My feeble mind can't comprehend your might,  
All of it is a big wonder to me, I sit back gob smacked

57. Words of Love

These are my words of love  
I write and sing to the one who  
First showed me love,  
When I think of that road,  
You walked towards your fate,  
I think of what thoughts might  
Have come into your mind,  
Was it of the betrayal of friends  
Or was it of the pain you suffered?  
But it was those words  
"Lord forgive" that strikes me  
And knocks me to the ground  
Because with me all the pain and the hurt  
Inside, you still held words of forgiveness  
This is why I write to you  
To say thank you from this heart of mine  
That's been washed clean,  
I can never love you as you do me,  
For your love is like an ocean  
That surrounds all who seeks it,  
And Lord, I want to seek,  
And Lord, I want to find,  
Lord fill my heart  
With that ocean of yours

58. X-planation

Day after day  
I stand here and write this,  
I believe I've found a way to talk to God,  
And it's through these writings,  
It's like prayer on paper,  
I've always been one that frowned  
At the sight of prayer books,  
But I believe now that  
If they wrote as I write,  
That next time I see one of 'em books  
I shall sit and read,  
Because I'm finding that I'm pouring  
Out my heart and hopes  
To Jesus through all these words,  
I know that its  
Bringing me closer to God

59. You Know

You know, you know  
My heart, through and through  
You see the deepest cuts  
You see the darkest secrets,  
You are the only one  
That can love me so much  
Because you see my heart  
And still want me  
-  
I'm so unworthy  
Born a sinner – you died for me  
I rebelled so much – you sought my heart  
And when I saw what you've done  
That's when I realized...  
-  
You know, you know  
My sin, through and through  
You sent the sacrifice,  
It's your blood that washes,  
You are the only one  
That can heal a heart  
Because you see my heart  
And stretch out your arms

60. Your Majesty

Nothing compares to the majesty of our God  
For our God reigns,  
He is Lord of heaven and earth  
And Lord we wanna glorify your name  
-  
Jesus I worship you  
You're my Lord and God  
I love you with all my heart  
-  
Everything in my life I give to you,  
For you gave it to me  
You are Lord of heaven and earth  
And Lord Jesus I wanna glorify your name

61. Potential

I'm standing here in your presence,  
Lifting my humble hands  
In surrender to you, the King of kings  
I'm unworthy to be here,  
But you are just so worthy of our praise,  
I close my eyes, and lift my heart to you,  
Lord, you showed that you love me, now Lord, I ask,  
Show me your will, your will in my life  
To affect all those around me, help me use my gifts  
To the highest potential with your strength,  
Oh, I ask Lord, please, amen

62. Questions

Life is all about being with you Jesus,  
You made us from clay, to be with you,  
Created from the start as lords of animals  
We lived in the garden of eden,  
Eating as you provided  
This is how you envisioned us at the start,  
And that was many thousands of years  
Since the first days of Adam and Eve,  
Many things have happened since,  
A huge amount of things but  
Only you know everything  
I've always had creation questions, like,  
Where did dinosaurs go?  
I know that one the day  
You came back for us all,  
And we'll be changed from  
Finite minds to infinite,  
I hope you'll explain all,  
And until then I have to be patient  
With these questions of mine  
And have faith in you

63. Rain-dance for the Promise

I fly over a green-yellow valley,  
And looking down time flies by,  
I see trees sprout, flowers everywhere  
And as they grow they spread their seeds  
And seeds grow and yet more  
Plants begin to get big  
The branches spread out their fruit form  
-  
I swoop down over the river  
That runs in the valley,  
Swerving as the river curves,  
I fly upstream, the clear water beneath,  
So soft it flows, so still it fills,  
Going by the falls I listen to the noise,  
And I hear all the animals speak,  
So I stop and land to the left  
Of the top of the waterfall,  
The Caretaker comes to me and  
Says "it started as a drop,  
The rain from the heavens, and as  
The trees grew they asked me for more water,  
So one day it flushed out over  
The cliff with awesome power,  
And through it the whole valley"  
"Dance for rain, pray for the rain  
That comes from me,  
And I will send it"

64. Readiness

I think that God has grabbed a hold  
Of a wooden spoon,  
And is stirring up my spirit to be strong,  
Yes, I can just feel it inside,  
Because I want to close my eyes  
And just let the power of the Holy Spirit  
Run through that music, it should reach others,  
I long in waiting, for the day is coming  
That he will come down and really bless my life,  
I know its coming,  
But not sure when,  
Only God knows the timing,  
But I have to prepare  
And I need to be ready,  
Ready in waiting  
I can say for sure  
That I amn't at this stage  
But I hope to be,  
This is why I believe God is stirring up my soul  
So I can see  
That I need to get ready soon

65. Self-forgiveness

Lord, I ask for your  
Wisdom and understanding  
So that I may love to the full,  
Because of my past, I've always  
Found it hard to love myself,  
Always down to lack of respect for myself,  
You've already taken away  
Every drop of hatred that ever existed,  
And every heart-break of hurt,  
That is, except for what I've done to myself,  
I find I abuse myself  
So I guess I'm here  
For you to help me,  
Help me forgive myself,  
For what I've done to others  
And to you,  
For all I've done wrong, all my sin,  
I'm also saying sorry  
For not forgiving myself earlier,  
For low self-confidence  
Has hindered me,  
The problem has never been you forgiving me  
For you're always there to listen and forgive  
But I find it hard to forgive myself,  
So Lord, please show me the way out

66. Silver Tea-pot

I believe I've let my soul  
Become that like a silver tea-pot,  
When it's looked after, it shines  
And reflects the light of the Son,  
And when it's full with tea  
It has a use, but this is the good tea-pot,  
And I'm afraid that's not me,  
For my spirit hasn't been fed  
For a long, long time,  
It becomes like an unused tea-pot,  
Un-scrubbed, unpolished and reflects  
No light, and has no tea to be used,  
Gathering dust in a cupboard,  
Lord, you know what I need  
Please come to me Lord, get a cloth  
Dipped in your blood and wash me clean,  
Polish up my soul to shine for you,  
Lord, this, is what I want

67. Sin

It's stupid really, the way I've been,  
I know repenting is the way  
So I do so,  
You see the sinful nature exists in me  
And every day I should look to God  
To conquer it, and some days I do,  
But then some days I don't,  
Its one thing I hate,  
Is breaking promises to God,  
I suppose I should keep trying my best  
But I think I know down inside,  
That with God I shouldn't try,  
I should either do it or not,  
And it's that I can't decide  
Yet I know if I did decide -  
I could leave it all behind -  
And so Lord, I plead on my own behalf  
And ask for you to drive me to decide,  
And help me every bit of the way  
With the decision,  
And to help me to stand by it

68. Sore Foot

For many a year  
I was like a used can,  
Swept or kicked away by everyone,  
And unable to stop them,  
I rolled over and over  
Until I hit a curb or wall,  
People would love to stand on me  
And flatten me to the ground,  
Or pick me up  
And puncture me to tear me in half,  
As I say  
For many a year  
I was like a used can,  
But now I've found Jesus,  
The Rock of my life,  
And he's filled me up inside  
With his strength,  
Now let's see those people  
Kick a can full of cement!  
"Hey you!!! Got a sore foot?"

69. The door

I sing a song of declaration  
Proclaiming that Jesus is Lord of my life,  
When all of little life's problems pile up,  
And stress and anxiety are knocking at the door  
I get up to go and answer the door,  
But then Jesus is there and says "No, let me,  
Don't be worried, trust in me"  
And as he opens the door,  
The face of stress and anxiety  
Turns from a sniggering smile,  
To a state of shock,  
Because now, Jesus is in charge,  
No longer do I have to deal  
With them, because Jesus will,  
Big problems turn small  
In the sight of God,  
Because nothing can stand against  
The will of God,  
When Jesus returns from the door,  
I turn to him and ask  
"Please Lord, whenever  
There's another knock, will you answer it?"  
And he says  
"Yes I will, once you walk with me  
Once you talk with me,  
Once you don't turn your back on me"

70. The Lame Heart

Its the striving to be holy, the striving to live with you  
That needs to exist in my heart,  
At times I've achieved that aim  
But then I found myself stray and once again I find myself  
Looking up to where I should be,  
Perseverance, faith, confidence, in all these I fail and  
I come to you to ask for help  
-  
Because, because, because  
Here I am on my knees  
Before your holy presence  
Standing in surrender to your love I humble myself  
Asking for forgiveness  
-  
Please, please, please  
Come and heal my runaway heart,  
Come, you'll find the door open,  
For a long time I've kept you  
On the wrong side  
-  
And I'm now looking to your face  
Expecting a frown, a sigh  
But I find a smile, a tear,  
And you say, "I'm here and always have been,  
Now walk and come with me  
Your faith has healed you  
Get up and walk with me"

71. Just because of me?

Why don't I live in the power of God?  
I long to spend days praising him,  
And praying to him,  
But I don't, just because?  
Why don't I love by the power of God?  
To share my gift with everyone around,  
By praising his name,  
But I don't, just because?  
-  
I find all my feelings are bottled up inside  
Waiting for someone to pop the cork,  
Holding me back are the  
Chains of sin around my ankles,  
Hoping someone may come to rescue me  
But no, but no, just because?  
-  
Just because I should  
Just because I can't  
Just because I should  
Pray to God asking for help  
But I don't, just because!  
And I'm so very angry inside,  
Not with God, not with the world, but with myself,  
For I'm the one with the cork-opener waiting  
For someone to pull the cork yet I hold it back,  
Yes, and I'm the one with a key in my pocket  
To let someone unlock the chains, yet I hold it back

72. One Begins

One begins this life lacking knowledge  
Of the one who gave it,  
That's how it started for me  
Until the time he chose to reveal himself  
My heart was pounding  
And as he entered my life  
A new life began – my spirit now born  
-  
One begins this life lacking knowledge  
Of the one who gave it,  
And it's a wonder for me  
That before I was born, he knew my future  
My life is a town  
And to it, he holds the map  
As I move forward – he guides my next step  
-  
One begins this life lacking knowledge  
Of the one who gave it,  
It was giv'n at the start  
And yet sin took it away,  
Yet before it happened, God knew the future  
He was to send his Son  
And at his sacrifice  
It was achieved – that life he now gives

73. The Day

Lonely, lonely, very lonely  
Was what I was  
Till the day I gained my friend  
The Lord Jesus Christ  
-  
Happy, happy, very happy  
Was what I was  
On the day I gained my King,  
The Lord Jesus Christ  
-  
Convicted, very convicted  
Was what I was  
On the day I was shown my sin  
Before Jesus Christ  
-  
Forgiven, very forgiven  
Was what I was  
On the day I was washed clean  
Before Jesus Christ

74. Lord's Day

Surrounded by all I climb up a hill  
And into a wooden box,  
I curl up to one corner,  
Afraid to breathe, afraid to move,  
All the enemies have  
Surrounded my camp,  
To destroy all that I have,  
But I realize  
I can shout, I can sing  
If my God is for me  
Who can be against me?  
Yes I can shout, I can sing  
If my God is for me  
Who can be against me?  
So curled up to one side,  
I begin to pray, to pray in faith and  
At the sound of some noise  
I crawl out from under the box  
To see God breaking down  
The strongholds of the enemy,  
And this is the Lord's Day  
For he has triumphed over my enemies,  
I'll declare his power from here on, in my life

75. Lost Ground

Making up lost ground is something  
I don't seem to be good at-  
There was a time in my life  
That I'll never forget  
I was free from worries,  
Even when bad news came,  
And my eyes would cry but  
Jesus would make me smile,  
I'll never be back to the way  
I was then, because now  
I'm older and more mature,  
Lots of things have happened since,  
But the ground I want to gain  
Is the bit of what I felt back then,  
It was the complete feeling of freedom  
And a feeling of closeness with God  
At times, I just sat with  
My head on my guitar,  
Spending time in God's presence,  
But most of all, I was fully  
Alive in spirit, in confidence,  
Jesus led my every step  
And I refused to take a step without him,  
This is the state of heart  
I pray I will return to, someday soon

# CHAPTER 4

76. Miracle

I believe in miracles big and small,  
Nothing happens out of co-incidence,  
But it's the plan of God,  
I believe in God, through my faith in Jesus,  
Just look at me, a miracle

77. My Dream

I dream that I'm with you  
On a bridge standing by me,  
But then you are gone,  
I run off the bridge and down  
The grey road looking for you between the trees  
I spot a glimpse of something in the water  
So I go to the bank of the river  
A giant fish jumps out of the water and bites my side  
And then before I can recover, another bite,  
The dream ends, Lord what does this mean?  
Maybe, the bridge is the chance you gave  
For me to be with you, and the river is the journey of life, so I run beside life searching  
For you because I have lost you  
And I think the fish symbolizes something that will  
Happen to me twice? What is it Lord?

78. My Soul's water

I sit down and close my eyes,  
The thought that comes to mind is a verse-  
I can see the deer by the water,  
Drinking out of thirst,  
For it's just began running,  
And Lord my soul's like that too,  
My soul pants for you,  
I am tired, and I come for you to refill me  
-  
I draw near to the river  
And drink from the water of life  
I draw near to you Father,  
And hear your words of life,  
Just take me up  
To your presence, and fill my heart  
For you O Lord are my joy  
And my Refuge, so I come to you

79. Never Forsake Me

Once every so often,  
At morn or night,  
I get a glimpse of the beauty of nature,  
At break of light, or end of day,  
I could stare at the mid-night sky  
And not be able to count  
All the planets, stars and moons,  
How huge the universe,  
How powerful is God who created it?  
And here I am, this little me,  
On a tiny planet,  
And he sent his Son just for me,  
The only explanation – love,  
But it's when I realize  
How much God is in control?  
I'm fearful because I know  
That he knows all my sin,  
But it also makes me feel safe  
Knowing that my Father  
In heaven looks after me,  
And he'll never forsake me

80. One day, well I can't say

It don't mean much to me now  
But once it did, this  
Whole thing about money,  
Spending my life till now in school,  
Just so I can get a job,  
It used to really annoy,  
To get on my nerves  
Because all I wanted was Jesus,  
Not money, yet I was forced  
To work towards this job, I like working,  
But I am not materialistic,  
I don't seek anything in life  
Except you know what?  
To serve God, many years I think  
I have wasted but I could be wrong  
Because people I told the message  
May believe it one day

81 Faith-builder

I used to be an unbeliever  
Until my Saviour revealed himself  
So that I could be saved,  
I have faith in the one I believe  
I believe in him through faith which he gave me,  
That's why I say Jesus, you are my faith-builder  
Jesus, I believe in you, you chose me  
And you came to save me

82 Forever Young

History's poets are remembered  
For complaining about their age  
As they got old,  
Although I am very much young  
I look ahead and ask myself  
Will I be such when I am old?  
I really don't think I will  
Because already at the age I am  
I could tell a hundred stories  
Of how Jesus has influenced my life  
It's because of this,  
I believe one day, at seventy odd,  
I shall have much to share  
With people, that I won't shut up,  
And people will say,  
How much I speak with strength and youth,  
And how much I have to offer  
Than the young so why complain,  
Just stay forever young at heart

83

Give me the strength  
To make it through each day  
That comes along,  
I know that I'm not perfect  
But Jesus has washed me clean,  
Once for all time,  
Keeping this in mind I strive  
To the goal of your presence  
Knowing that I will fail  
But knowing that I'll make it in the end  
-  
Give me the breath of life,  
To lead the right way,  
Not the wrong  
I feel pinned like an insect  
But Jesus has washed me clean,  
Once for all time  
Knowing that with God I'll survive,  
And this giving a good sense -  
Knowing that I will fail  
But knowing that I'll make it in the end

84 Go and Tell

How long have I known the Lord  
How long has he shown his will  
I must go and tell  
He is love, he is mercy,  
His love flows like a river  
I must go and tell  
-  
The harvest is plentiful,  
The workers few  
The people he loves,  
Sin was a problem overcome  
By Jesus' death, for  
The people he loves  
-  
You show the right way  
But I haven't been watching,  
I cry out for them,  
The sheep that fall into a pit  
He wants to save  
I cry out for them  
-  
God loves you  
But he loves them too  
And they need the truth!  
So why sit around  
Expecting other to do the work,  
They need the truth!

85 Go to the Window

Grant me the will of strength,  
In my heart to fight on,  
To provide me with what you've promised,  
I can see it clearly in front of me  
But I just can't touch it  
Like a layer of darkened glass  
Separating me from it,  
And it looks great,  
I place the palms of my hands  
Against the glass, and then my face,  
I see someone, and I jump back,  
But then I realize its Jesus  
So once again I place my hands  
Against the glass and say "please Lord"  
He walks to the glass on the  
Opposite side and places his hands opposite mine  
-  
As I talk to him, his hands come through  
And grab mine,  
And I hear him say "now step!  
Now step through!"  
And as I do, a light hits  
Me and once again I can smile

86

Singing hallelujah  
And glory to the King of kings  
We humble ourselves,  
Singing hallelujah  
And glory to the King of kings  
-  
Before the start of time,  
You knew I would be born  
As Jesus gave his life  
You knew it was for me,  
And I'm shocked at  
The amount you love me, a sinner  
So I want to stand,  
And lift my hands  
And I'll start...  
-  
Before I gave you my life  
You had chosen me as your's  
As Jesus gave his life  
You knew it was for all  
And I'm shocked  
That you love me, a sinner  
So I want to stand  
And lift my hands  
And I'll start...

87 Highway to Heaven  
The white lines bypass me  
On the highway to heaven,  
Separating one side from the other  
Driving at speed towards  
The destination of somewhere  
I haven't found  
-  
And as I drive I  
Look to my companion sitting by my side  
And he's guiding me on the highway to heaven  
he's showing the way  
Yes, he's guiding me on the highway to heaven,  
And with him right there  
No I will not stray  
No I won't stray  
-  
The junctions bypass me  
On the highway to heaven  
Separating one side from the other,  
Wondering if I've gone right to  
The destination of somewhere  
I haven't found

88 I'm Sorry

I pray and ask that you will promise me more,  
Also that of which you've promised  
Will come into play in my life  
And that I shall not hinder your will  
Lord, if I've broken a promise,  
I'm here to say I'm sorry  
Lord, if I've sinned against you,  
I'm here to say I'm sorry,  
I mean to say something  
And it comes out wrong,  
I mean to say something  
And it comes out backwards,  
Lord, turn things around for me,  
Because I never wanted  
To take even one  
Small step against you  
Lord, I'm here to say I'm sorry

89 I've Found God

My mind thinks it's not fair  
Of all the things I've been through  
But my spirit knows that  
In fact I am one of the  
Luckiest people in the world,  
Now my mind thinks  
That it's not fair  
Because of all the people out there  
That reject or don't know about  
What I've found  
For I've found God, my Lord Jesus Christ,  
And he's found me, for I've found love  
My Lord Jesus Christ and love found me

90 Journey Home

I look forward to the journey home,  
The exit of this life  
And the entrance to one that will never end,  
No sickness and crying, no worries or hassles,  
A place where I can praise all day,  
Singing my songs to you Lord  
For one day I will be at home, and I look forward to it  
From the bottom of my heart,  
And Lord, I realize, you have gone ahead to  
Prepare a place for me and I must live my life  
Here knowing that one day you'll be back for me

91 A Few Words of Thank you

Lord, could you lend a minute or two  
To listen to what I have to say,  
For I've got just a few words  
Just to say, for you to hear,  
I want to say thank you,  
Thank you for saving me  
Thank you for giving me all that I have,  
I want to say that I love you,  
Thank you for your love  
Thank you for sending Jesus for us down here,  
Lord, I whisper to you,  
A simple song of appreciation,  
A simple song of adoration,  
For though I try and run,  
You hold me on my head,  
So I run in a circle and return to you,  
Lord, thank you for this minute or two,  
I hope I will never let  
Appreciation for what you've done, leave my heart

92 Bag of Coins

He scuttled away from the crowd after Jesus was taken,  
Holding a pouch of the cost of Jesus,  
He watched from far off as  
Jesus was beaten and whipped,  
And that's when he realized what he had done,  
The guilt struck him; he tried to ignore it,  
But he felt regretful  
-  
He knew that Jesus knew,  
Yes, he knew that Jesus knew  
And it ate him up inside,  
For he had chosen to  
Give up his Saviour  
For thirty measly coins  
-  
Feeling lonely and unforgivable,  
He went to a place  
To a tree by a field,  
And there he died  
-  
In his position,  
Would you have chosen  
The same or different?  
Then ask yourself do you  
Value anything ahead of Jesus?

93 Big Heads, Small Minds

Where do I stand on the  
Rotation of life?  
The world spins around  
And everything lives only to live,  
You see, this is a world  
Where mankind is at a higher place  
Than any animal  
And has always looked down on them,  
But one finds, as I did,  
That mankind looks down on itself  
Whatever reason it may be,  
Not-so-good looks, disease,  
Disabilities, skin colour or race,  
Face the similar curse of prejudice,  
This is because the world is unjust,  
Full of its prejudices and racism  
But the thing is, God  
Treats all of us equal,  
And everyone should follow his example,  
Do to others as  
You'd have them do to you,  
Treat others as  
You'd have them treat you

94 Burning in my Heart

I long to seek your presence O Lord,  
I dream of being with you upon a mountain,  
Walking side by side through the trees  
Talking about your works in my life,  
And as you talk to me, my spirit is moved  
Because your word gives life to my spirit,  
And acting on this I worship you  
Because your words are burning in my heart  
Into light and into life  
And I want to move forward  
In your power and might,  
Now in confidence from your strength  
I move on, breaking the snares of sin in my life,  
I'm in the power of your love,  
And I declare your majesty  
-  
You've put a burning in my heart  
To worship you  
You've put a burning in my heart  
To declare your power through me  
-  
I've got a burning in my heart  
To worship you  
I've got a burning in my heart  
To declare your power through me

95 Call Me and Outcast Please!

It's a whale of life's problems  
That cause the problems  
Walking the streets preaching the gospel  
Is the way I believe things should be  
But this society has broken us  
Black n'blue to fit into it,  
One has to work, to live and to buy,  
Whatever happened to following God  
And all will be provided?  
Forcing stress, strain, anxiety, worry  
On everybody's shoulders,  
But we should be outcasts to  
The deceiving world, only  
Stepping into it to spread the word,  
This I find very hard,  
It's a place where TV addicts  
Believe what they see,  
And do it, following a lie,  
The world gets worse and worse,  
And it deteriorates by the second  
It's unknown to many the fate they face,  
And those who know it,  
Ignore it

96 Can You See Them?

Can you see them all around? Can you see the sinners?  
The hatred, discord and jealousy  
Fits of rage, envy and drunkenness  
These are the lost sheep  
And these are the prodigal sons  
They are slaves to sin, eyes blinded,  
Yet the Lord our God loves them  
His love pours out to them,  
They must learn the truth  
-  
Their payment of wrongs is death  
They have not seen the light of the gospel  
And their understanding is darkened  
Who but Jesus can set them free?  
His blood can come and wash,  
Wash as white as snow  
That is what I ask Lord,  
Come Lord, and set them free,  
Set them free I ask it O Lord  
-  
Once I was on that road,  
The hidden destination of destruction,  
I was a fool but now I'm not, as I was saved,  
They also can be saved by grace  
Open their eyes, reach them Lord  
There is nothing I would like to see more  
Than a lost sheep to be found

97 Confirm it Lord Please

I pray and ask Lord,  
That I will listen to your calling voice,  
Help me Lord, bridge that gap  
So that clearly I can hear your voice,  
You see I am talking to you,  
Because a thought, an idea, a hope  
Has entered into my heart,  
And I want to find out if it's from you  
All I heard was a voice,  
So, tell me Lord if it was yours  
I know I should recognize it,  
And I do believe it's from you,  
But Lord, give me confirmation  
Open your word to my heart,  
I'm crying out in waiting to know,  
Please, if it is your will,  
Support me, guide me, and provide me  
With all my needs,  
As I trust in you for them,  
Lord, show me your plan

98 Desperate times

O Lord have mercy on my soul  
Every year or two I have come  
Back to you with emptiness and hurt  
It seems again I am returning  
O Lord, mercy, grant me mercy  
O Lord, my soul has suffered,  
Who can say more or less than any other  
But let it be known  
That when I'm in this state  
I find it hard to recover,  
So Lord, please find mercy in your heart  
At these times I do lay in bed  
Letting my tears run to my ears,  
Holding myself to try and comfort  
Lord, these times are my desperate times,  
All alone in this world  
All alone in my heart,  
So Lord, please Lord, I ask Lord,  
I seek Lord, I cry for  
Your mercy

99 Easiness is a Commodity

I don't know about you  
But life to me seems hard  
The easiness in life  
Was the commodity given up  
By Adam and Eve  
When they chose to disobey God,  
Which put a gap between  
Mankind and God  
-  
I don't know about you  
But life is much easier  
When you walk with God,  
Because Jesus made a sacrifice  
You can live life to the full,  
Be happy and joyous  
Facing problems with confidence  
Because Jesus is there all the way  
-  
I don't know about you  
But life is much simpler  
When you have your priorities right,  
Because God should always be first  
Then you can live in joy,  
For Jesus loves us all,  
And I don't know about you,  
But I just want to love him back

100 Face the Truth

I lay awake at night  
Looking at the bleak ceiling  
I think about my life  
As it was, as it is, and as it will be  
It ain't no lie to say I'm scared,  
My bottom lip trembles with fear,  
Because the way forward is unknown to me  
I think I might have to face the truth,  
About me, about my personality,  
The places I fail in, need growth,  
I'm afraid, and as I say,  
I'm now trying to drill the truth  
Into my thick skull  
I need to feed that seed  
Sown by God  
And water it, protect it  
And nurture it,  
Look, face the truth  
And get moving,  
Don't look back in dismay as always  
But look ahead with  
The hope of the future

# CHAPTER 5

101 On My Side

This fate to which I fail  
Because I wish to know how to entail  
All my life's problems  
And still keep a quiet face  
And not to be a disgrace,  
I should be strong  
And very happy  
Even though the burdens of life  
Hit me like an array of arrows, how can this be?  
It's impossible for me to even try  
So I don't, so I get nowhere  
So now I can say why I fail,  
It's because when I entail  
All my problems in mind  
I don't take into account  
That Jesus is on my side

102 Out of fear

I try not to, but I can't help but stare  
Like clowns at a circus, watch what they wear,  
But I know that I must not dare  
To be jealous or not to care  
Of how they ruin their lives, caught in a snare  
They look deprived and bare  
Because Jesus has paid their fare  
Because they chose not to go, out of their own fear

103 Overcome This

I'm afraid to praise from my heart  
Because I'm paranoid of people watching  
I'm afraid to speak in tongues out of lack of will,  
Help me Lord break this barrier  
So that I won't be afraid  
To stand and lift my hands  
To you in front of others,  
Yes, I'm still having problems  
With self-confidence self-worth but I want  
To overcome this with your help

104 Patience

Patience is a virtue of which I should have a clue  
I need to quieten myself, not to be rude speaking,  
Offensive or overpowering  
Patience is a virtue of which I need a clue  
I've always had my cold side  
For the reason of no patience  
Now I want to throw this off  
And carry on to the next step and I ask what bliss is?  
Patience is a virtue  
Of which I should have a clue

105 Power of God

Faith, I do not deny myself  
However, I don't achieve the  
Quantity or quality that I'd like to  
I need to learn how to  
Build up my faith  
I mean, how do I do such a task?  
It is by fellowship with others  
Or maybe spending more time in the word  
Or maybe praying and praising more,  
Or even all of these  
But I don't know the answer,  
However I do want a stronger faith,  
Because faith the size of a seed  
Can move Everest  
And yes I do want to move  
Mountains in the power of God

106 Revival's Rhythm

Local landings of power praise  
Brings brightness to dark days  
Spirit sent on his house  
Crying crowds see God's grace  
Power praise brings an anointing  
High heaven-ward for amazing anything  
Makes men and woos women  
Five, fifteen and a million more

107 Show Me When

What do I hold close to my heart?  
That scares me to think of it  
Deep is it buried in my heart  
Where no-one, not even I can reach  
But it grows, and grows  
Like a bubble being blown  
And one day it will burst,  
Out of its old shell shall it come  
And I'll be what I was born to be  
Lord, give me your timing,  
Because I don't know when,  
When do I run for you,  
Because now I just walk  
Show me when Lord

108 Soldier

I'm a soldier of war; I'm a soldier of love  
God has me fighting for him, and for him I fight  
It's not with sword or gun  
But with the power of the Holy Spirit  
I am just one small part  
Of his army,  
But the body can't work  
Without its full compartments  
Working all towards the same goal  
Which is God

109 Some Might Say

I cannot watch and believe  
Because it is too close to my heart  
What God has given me is mighty  
And if I get a glimpse  
It's very scary to see my future  
And see what I want to do,  
And see what I will see  
And feel what I will feel  
It's impossible some might say,  
But it's not for me,  
Because it's real in my heart  
And besides – God doesn't lie  
All I have to do, is to follow and get God  
To show the way

110 Start Over

I need to start to look after myself  
I do no good to anyone being like this  
I need to relax more and chill out,  
Before I eat anyone else's head off  
Keep me calm, Lord  
Hold my temper and give control,  
Take away any hate or bad feelings  
Take away any hurt and help  
Me cross barriers which  
I can't do by myself

111 Sweet

I long for your sweet, sweet touch,  
Lord Jesus, you are my Deliverer  
I lift my hands, close my eyes,  
See your face and worship you  
I could sing of your love  
And of your love I could sing  
You know my heart  
And I seek yours  
So help me find what I seek  
Come down and heal me,  
Fill me with your vision for my life

112 The Isle

That day will be great,  
And it will mean so much to me  
As she walks down the isle, I will thank the Lord for  
The blessing she is and will be  
I never dreamed of marriage,  
And never thought that on that lonely night  
When I prayed and asked for someone,  
That she would come so soon,  
That she would change me so  
And Lord, you brought us together,  
And both of us wish to serve you,  
Spend our lives in your service and to all that entails  
I thank you Lord, amen

113 The Lord is Greater

The pen is mightier than the sword  
But the Lord is greater than both  
Through one spoken word,  
He can heal a heart,  
And through one circumstance,  
Enemies are brought to their knees  
No one can escape his love yet those who deny it  
Will face his wrath at death, how sad for them,  
For they shall regret every moment of their life,  
Every shame or pint of spit  
That they throw at those who tried to tell them  
And they will break down in tears,  
As they are thrown to hell

114 To an End

To an end has come one  
Beautiful run with the Lord  
Of sharing my feelings but it's at an end because  
I switch to showing it,  
Telling it a different way,  
But another way to which no one understands  
But it has to be said  
That it may come again, it may continue,  
But I am to look another way  
One sure way of talking to him  
But also seeking and finding him

115 Why did I

Hard it is for me to hear,  
What people are saying  
I think I was born naturally ignorant,  
At times I've been very blonde  
To see how other people are  
And I've hurt a lot of people  
I look back and regret all I've done,  
And I ask why did I do it?  
Hard it is for me to see  
What I have in front of me  
I think I was born to seek God,  
And at times I've been sad  
Because he wasn't there  
I look back and say my sin did that,  
And I ask why did I do it?

116 Work

Maybe I stand too strongly  
Against my beliefs against sin  
One day I may be put in a position  
Which is similar to what is asked  
And I may take the path  
To which I deny my soul now,  
But I know they slag me  
Because I am different  
That doesn't bother me  
But what hurts is that  
They cut me inside  
Every time they accuse that I'm in the wrong,  
When the truth is that I'm right  
I have such pity for them,  
I really do  
But it is this fact  
That makes me sure that  
If I was put in such a position,  
I would turn it down,  
Because Christ lives in me,  
And sin is detestable to his eyes,  
And in most ways, it is to me too

117 World VS God

Playing a mind game does not tame  
The anger it causes, two opposite sauces  
Like tomato and cream just confirms a dream  
Of the world VS God  
And though I think 'you little sod', I try to keep silent  
Because I know the devil is beat,  
And in a match of the world VS God  
I know with confidence the winner is God

118 You are mine

I need a break to take my mind off one set of things  
And to think about another set of things  
There's a lot I need to ignore  
And there's a lot I shouldn't ignore  
Yet I need to distinguish  
The deference between the two  
I need to pray for what needs to be  
I need to pray for what doesn't need to be  
I pray for needs, situations,  
Other people, myself, my church,  
For the lost, about myself,  
And I just talk to God as a friend  
I like to picture him standing by my side  
Saying that it's alright, everything's okay,  
Trust in me because I love you,  
Be my friend, and be my servant,  
I want you, I paid for you, and you are mine!

119 Your Spirit Pours Out

When we all meet together,  
That's when you send your rain on us,  
Filling each of our hearts  
As your Spirit pours out  
It strikes the blind, the captives,  
The lost, ignorant and sinners  
Runaway hearts turn back,  
Because they can hear your voice  
An atmosphere to melt a heart,  
And fragrance of love to make one cry,  
This comes as your Holy Spirit comes down  
For you, O Lord,  
Send your Spirit on us,  
And your Spirit pours out to us,  
A message of love

120 Zombies Galore

Coffee addicts, sleepless addicts  
Or drink or anything  
They struggle through life  
Looking down watching their feet  
Never looking past their imperfections  
To their perfections  
Taking peoples slags to heart  
And believing it, whether it's true or not  
Watching television most hours,  
Loosing any chance of communicating  
With others, or even the will to do so  
No escape and no hope,  
Many people live as this,  
Stuck in a bubble as thick as brick  
But however if one of these  
Should find God, being a loner is an advantage,  
Because immediately they can depend on God  
Because they already ignore anyone else  
Once God strikes, he heals everything,  
And then teaches them to be strong  
Children, men women, anyone, to go  
From depression to delight

121 Jesus

Softly in his voice  
He tells us not to fear  
I sink into his love  
As his comfort draws me near  
I cling to every word  
Of comfort that he gives  
I listen to his laws  
So I can learn to live  
Even of his grace  
That brings me to the ground  
I'm so glad you found me  
And swept me from the ground

122 Pale Blue

In a pale blue sky  
And an ocean breeze  
There's a yellow sun  
That warms the seas  
With a gentle whisper  
Peace surrounds  
Just one touch  
And love abounds  
I think of all  
The things I've done  
All the joy  
And all the fun  
The times when I  
Was close to death  
God was there  
I've no regret  
The thrill to know  
Of whom I am  
To sit with Jesus  
To feel so calm  
To want for love  
And nothing else  
Who can measure  
To his wealth  
Jesus I love you  
Because you love me  
It took such grace to make me see

123 A Moment

Just for a moment  
One second in time  
Nothing else matters  
The Lord's love is mine  
But long have I waited  
For tomorrow to come  
Wasting my life  
Like that of a bum  
Think of today  
Not even the past  
Today is our joy  
That's passing so fast  
What can be done?  
To highlight the way  
Enough has been said  
Just live for today  
I know of the pain  
You suffer inside  
You don't have to run  
You don't have to hide  
I think that you're hurting  
Because of your pride  
Just give it to Jesus  
And he will give you joy

124 More

When I'm feeling down  
I set my eyes on you  
The healer of my pain  
Cause you alone are true  
-  
If I feel unloved  
I know you're always there  
I know you want to help  
Love like yours is rare  
-  
Jesus you are great  
For giving me such life  
I can sleep in peace  
I know you paid the price  
-  
Now I know I'm yours  
I'm treasured till the end  
You made me a son, an heir  
But more you are my friend

125 The Journey

Children of the Lord  
In a garden filled with weeds  
Nothing but a prayer  
And a string of lonely pleads  
Pulled out by the roots  
And laid out in a bed  
Given all the love I need  
To never go unfed  
-  
A flower in the sunset  
Growing in the rain  
Lovely as a poet  
Nothing is in vain  
Picking up the pieces  
Growing like a dive  
Flying through the streets  
Singing of your love  
-  
A child is rendered helpless  
Living just on faith  
Growing fast in wisdom  
Living just in wait  
When old and rich in knowledge  
With nothing left to do  
I kneel and pray to Jesus  
What on earth is new?

# CHAPTER 6

126 Mud

What words can change a thing?  
What phase can draw you near?  
Can I stand beside you  
Can I hold you near?  
Would you if I told you  
Of great things I could share  
But guilty of being human  
I still have things to bear  
What words can I use?  
To match the beauty you behold  
There's nothing in the world  
Compared to you, it's cold  
O my blistered soul  
Dry for craving love  
Could you in your mercy  
Lift me from the mud

127

Time grows short  
Lord call me now  
Teach me fast  
Show me how  
-  
Like the seed  
Within the ground  
Give me life  
That I may be found  
-  
Show me love  
And fruit to bear  
In your wisdom  
For me to bear  
-  
Take the time  
To guide me home  
Fill the words  
Within this poem

128

Peace my troubled friend  
Come rest upon the Rock  
I'm simple and I love you  
Why is that a shock?  
-  
Think about the times  
I held you in my arms  
I opened up your heart  
I never lied or charmed  
-  
Come you silly child  
I'm always near for you  
Can I give you more than life?  
What would you have me do  
-  
I know you're insecure  
With fear of being loved  
I long to make you strong  
For God alone is good  
-  
Rest my upright children  
You know I'm in control  
Everything you go through  
Works to make you whole

129

When people think of love  
They don't think of pain  
Imagining some vain thing  
Like to love someone again  
-  
Drawn through this life  
In trouble and despair  
Searching for a refuge  
A place without a core  
-  
Love does not receive  
But slowly learns to give  
Growing in compassion  
You want your love to live  
-  
You give with all your heart  
To win a seldom smile  
That motivates your strength  
To go another mile  
-  
But the pain that you bear  
Is healing when shared  
And the warmth you feel inside  
Proves loneliness has died

130

Adam son of God  
Why did you have to sin  
Why pass the seed  
Whose likeness I am in  
-  
I run to meet you God  
Compassion, unfailing love  
You're there to meet my every need  
For God alone is good  
-  
Jesus when I think  
Of all that you have done  
To lift the hands of death  
Before the world began  
-  
I am the Resurrection  
I've come to set you free  
I've come to loose the pains of death  
And cause the blind to see  
-  
Who can comprehend?  
With a light so dim as mine  
I praise you Jesus for your grace  
That endures through all time

131 About to Happen

I feel as though something's  
About to happen in my life,  
Something good, something big  
God is calling my name  
And I've just begun to hear again  
Because my spirit is pounding  
Because it feels something  
It is going to happen,  
And I can feel it in the air  
The atmosphere around,  
Is covered in hope for tomorrow,  
And I'm not lost in grief now  
But slowly coming out of my shell

132 Accepted

I've never joined a club for long  
Or stayed on a sports team  
I've always felt I don't belong  
But there is one special group, I am part of,  
And my brothers and sisters with me,  
This is the family of God  
I was accepted in  
My youth, and now my home is here,  
I was welcomed and loved  
And now I live to serve God,  
And now my home is his home

133 A glimpse of Heaven

One time, a while back,  
Something unusual but interesting  
Happened to me as I walked home  
I was thinking about heaven,  
And about myself, for when I got there,  
And all that I would do  
And that's when it happened,  
I don't know how to explain it  
First is came to mind, of myself  
Not far away from now, in the future,  
Looking back and remembering this life  
And it happened, a sudden glimpse,  
But very short, of eternity  
My mind expanded for little more  
Than a second,  
But all my problems, everything  
Became obsolete because I knew  
I would be in heaven and  
None of this would matter then  
Because my years here will be  
Under a hundred, and my years there  
Will never end

134 Always fail if I don't

I must no longer look  
To myself and expect perfectness  
Because I will never find it,  
And will always fail God  
If God can forgive a sinner like me,  
I must be obliged to forgive me too  
I can no longer live  
Without gaining bread and water of life  
I have come to an end,  
Where I must sort out my life  
Things have to go,  
And others have to come into being,  
I need to grow fruit,  
For I can feel  
My spirit shrivel inside  
Of malnourishment  
And it must stop  
I have to move forward,  
I have to take a step in faith

135 Big Gap

I don't know, I don't know  
Because last day could have set me back,  
No, yes, it definitely would have  
Many sins you found  
In my heart when you took me on,  
Many sins are gone now,  
In fact this may be the only one left,  
And I've always struggled  
But I know through your power  
This will eventually go,  
For it's through you  
That the others went,  
And I haven't seen since  
I wish that this would too,  
Because just that one thing,  
Puts quite a big gap  
Between you and me

136 Boat to Home

Lord, you've paid the way for me,  
So I could take passage  
On the boat to your kingdom  
I walked across the plank,  
Onto the old ship, that's brand new  
My heart is excited for  
I've never been there before  
And I've always wanted to go  
The ship leaves the port  
And I wave goodbye to  
That old life and await the new  
-  
The passage seems long and tiring  
The sea rocks the boat up and down as it goes  
When any storm hits  
I press on through it  
Thanks to the strong boat  
As the journey goes on, I get closer to you,  
Bye to my old life, hello new  
-  
And one day the journey  
Shall be over and I'll be home  
In your kingdom of heaven,  
And I'll spend eternity praising you  
Because you died, so that I could  
Travel on your ship, and you stayed with me  
Throughout the journey, thank you Jesus

137 Challenge of Love

I haven't tried it before,  
Yes, I have used my gifts,  
But I haven't done  
Everything out of love before  
I think this is a challenge  
To my heart, therefore  
I should try a lot harder  
Love is looked on  
As very important by God  
And I should too  
Love has very many requirements  
And is shown  
In very many ways  
So, yes, I think I  
Will give it a shot,  
Give it a go,  
And see how it turns out,  
And see how people react

138 Daniel

Daniel cared not  
Of his king's order of death  
And openly prayed at his window,  
All because of his faith in God  
Daniel cared not  
When his king ordered him  
And his friends  
To bow before him  
All because he trusted God,  
He refused  
And all because of God  
He was thrown into the lion's den,  
But God cared  
And looked after him  
And the lion's mouths kept shut  
God doesn't change;  
So why fear?  
You can face the face of death!  
Because God holds the key to life and death,  
Just look at Daniel,  
God cared  
Because he trusted in him

139 Expectations

I expect my life to be  
Nothing like this at all  
I'm surprised at how things  
Have turned out as they are now I know I have  
Many years ahead  
And many more surprises too, but I know that God  
Will look after me through the years  
At times I don't understand  
His plan, and had to wait until I did,  
And when I look back,  
I can see why some things happened  
The way they did, the same I feel about now,  
At this stage of my life, I will look back and  
Fully understand

140 Faith

Faith is what I need to believe in Jesus  
It means trust and belief in God,  
Without this I am lost,  
And without it, I can't know God  
But since then, I must have faith,  
Because I believe in God  
This means I can pray in faith,  
And trust people from my heart  
Faith builds a relationship between Jesus and me  
And it will build my heart to have a firm stronghold  
On which to stand against the enemy

141

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of  
Diseased by social venom  
I burn to calling their destruction  
Fires of great truth  
Make my mouth a sword  
That restores the blind  
And empowers the weak  
-  
Without the truth, I am a lie  
If I do not speak the truth  
Then I have already denied it  
A lying tongue  
Is like a man  
Chasing a fable  
Over deadly snares  
-  
Why fear the truth, fear God and live  
I do not know my soul  
Because I have not lived in truth  
O my soul fear not  
The vipers tongue  
They know nothing  
And fall to dust knowing nothing  
-  
Taste of my truth, drunk of my cup  
For the truth is  
The truth

142 Masterpiece

Glory to our Saviour  
Whose love is all around  
Rapped up in world sin  
Is what we are today,  
In glory he was crowned  
Filled with love and mercy  
He opened up the door  
And in his perfect kindness  
He even gave us more  
Glory for our peace in knowing  
What we done  
Jesus knew our names  
Before the world began

143

O gap in my heart  
Called anger and rage  
Sinful desire  
Pain without age  
Sin won't destroy me  
When grace comes so free  
It still causes pain  
And cuts me in three  
-  
I'm robbed of my joy  
I waste in my pain  
My spirit is willing  
My flesh is in vain  
I'm trapped by my comfort  
By the evil I pray  
I know God is with me  
So help me today  
-  
Flesh die and be death  
I am alive and have no regret  
Think not of earth but heaven above  
Soon you will find unfailing love  
Why do I fear tomorrow will come  
And rob me of new, before I've begun  
Save me O Jesus, O please take my sin  
Wash me all over, wash me within

144

O my soul  
I long to fill your need  
I hear your cries from deep  
Receive God when I plead  
Open up my soul,  
I thirst for you  
Show me how to walk in love  
Cleanse me from within  
-  
O my soul  
Tell me of your pain  
Help me understand  
Before I go insane  
O my soul  
You knew it all along  
You took me from my God  
And put sins upon my song  
-  
O my soul  
Let it go before it burns  
Lead me to the light  
Before my sin, it burns  
A dragon from the past  
A threat of what is to come  
A choice I have to make  
Before I reach the gun

145

Silence and remember  
The height and depth of God  
The wonder that we seek  
The power of his strength  
Stop and dwell in peace  
Haste is fuel for ruin  
Wisdom comes from living  
But our way leads to doom  
Stop and share a breath  
There's more to life than this  
Our God gave his Son  
Is your name on the list?  
Dwell within the arms  
Of God who longs to heal  
He gives us joy to taste  
To show his love is real  
Laugh and sing  
Praise through your trial  
Like the breath on a window  
It only lasts a while

146

Vanity the spike  
That kills me till I die  
Flatter the poison  
By means I get by  
-  
Suck me dry  
Don't fill me up  
Cause I give you  
From my cup  
-  
Slowly fades  
An unborn love  
Cause neither  
Will look up  
-  
Round about  
We give and take  
To keep  
Each other alive  
-  
Take from me  
All I have  
Cause love  
Is sacrifice

147

I will be killed  
On the streets preaching grace  
I've already faced  
A fist in the face  
-  
Why do they fight?  
In fury in rage  
Why do they fight?  
From the bars of their cage  
-  
Stab me and kill me  
Then maybe you'll see  
Jesus gave all to  
Set sinners free  
-  
Please open your heart  
And open your mind  
Stop your destruction  
Cause God isn't blind

148

I am the thorn  
That pierced through your side  
You pulled me from hell  
And showed me you're my guide  
I knelt down and prayed  
While still on my feet  
No-one could know  
My depth of defeat  
You showed me your light  
In my hour of need  
Asked you for help  
And so we agreed  
Thanks to your grace  
That lifts up my heart  
Your undying mercy  
That sets me apart

149

Be strong in the truth  
And you wouldn't be deceived  
When you live life by faith  
You can dodge those who believe  
Don't look on the service  
That's not how the story's told  
Learn to relate with love  
You'll be wise and bold  
-  
Grow, that is your goal  
But grow in things of God  
Walk and hear his voice  
You'll never fear his wrath,  
If you only knew my love  
And how I want you to do well  
Like how I sent my Son  
To deliver you from hell  
-  
Anger not at me  
For you were in the wrong  
Forget about that now  
The journey still goes on  
What comfort there would be  
To have faith in such a love  
The Father and Creator  
Made you out of love

150

The eyes are the window  
To the soul  
Revealing the condition  
Of the heart  
-  
Cost of your guilt  
Your fear to change  
We are less than  
A milli-sec in time  
-  
You are wonderful  
Yet why do my feet slip?  
I desire the hard truth  
In the centre of a soft heart  
-  
Let my voice not be lifted  
Open my river of joy  
For the truth has no secret

# CHAPTER 7

151 Destruction

In a cold state of running, people drawing near  
The cursing on their tongue  
Drawn from a state of fear  
Ignorance is loud, danger straight ahead  
Nothing in the middle  
Just the living and the dead, madness all around me  
Growing in his ways, calling my companion  
To shorten his long day  
Mockery and judgment  
Grow within the heart  
Nothing in the middle  
To set this man apart  
Fear he's in his temper  
Fighting for his right  
Standing up to everyone  
Dampening their light  
Shouts of rage inside him  
Turned upon himself  
Too blind to see the way  
Too proud to ask for help  
Last of all comes laughter  
At the evil of his way  
And asks himself the question  
Who will fall today?

152

As beautiful as knowledge  
Is your heart in a desert  
And more solid than a brick  
Have you suffered my infirmities  
More awesome than the sky  
Is your hand through troubled times  
More precious than a stone  
Is your sight for the blind  
More than just words have you spoken  
To those who love you

153

A broken heart, my hurt grows deeper  
I'm not strong enough to say I love you  
The tide grows high, my fears awoken  
Like a broken glass, I am coping  
A raging tide wells up inside  
I run for help, somewhere to hide  
No stone unturned, no place to run  
Like grace under fire, but there's no gun  
I pass the people and know their faith  
My heart is useless, standing at their gate  
Help me Lord to write this poem  
Is there hope, am I alone  
Such great love to comprehend  
What Jesus done just as a friend

154

Reaching out  
An inner shout  
A cry above  
A touch of love  
-  
Holy tears  
Of failing years  
Growing hope  
To help us cope  
-  
A burst of faith  
A need un-stilled  
Standing firm  
Spirit filled  
-  
Open eyes  
Healing cries  
A drawing love  
Of grace not shove

155

You say you're alive  
Then why struggle to survive  
Give your life to Jesus  
And repent  
-  
You say that you dive  
But you haven't learnt how to forgive  
Can you be alive  
Without being fed  
-  
You say you've got to love  
But show me what is good  
Vanity comes pouring out in  
Strength

156 Tomorrow Today

Like an arrow in my heart  
Does it burn with fire for you  
The sun grows dark compared to  
Your glow like a man in the desert  
I crave the days we are together  
As a swallow craves its mother  
One day is as a thousand years  
And a thousand years one day  
As even the earth gives life  
We are one

157 Trapped

The difference is with a view  
A vision of a road  
Such a long way to travel  
To even focus on your goal  
Blindness will surround you  
If you turn your back from the light  
The only thing you have hope for  
Is please Lord make it right  
Challenged by the crowd who  
Walk the other way  
Challenged by your pleasure, telling  
You to stray  
Arriving at the end, with nothing  
Left to give  
Calling out for mercy  
In hope that I might live

158 Day Dream

A dream of faith  
To fill the air  
To give you hope  
To show you care  
-  
A light turned on  
Inside your heart  
To make you strong  
Set you apart  
-  
A childish cry  
From deep inside  
No where to run  
No where to hide  
-  
The light shines bright  
Upon my soul  
To fill me up  
And make me whole  
-  
Alas my friend know  
Here I am  
Sitting up remaining calm  
No where to run  
No where to hide  
Why my Lord  
Have I been changed?

159 Stepping Down

Be-throned was his prosper  
Left empty and bare  
Nothing to give and nothing to share  
Turning to nothing for refuge to live  
A love grows inside him  
Then learning to give  
A world called beside him  
With pleasure to find  
But no room for love  
Walk out and be blind  
In turning away his voice did I hear  
With angels beside him giving a cheer  
Racing for mercy and fallen for care  
He showed me the way was open, prepare  
In clearness of sight  
And boldness of love  
I preached to the city  
Give praise up above  
Shouts of rage angered  
With pain as it grows  
I prayed for repentance  
Please wash my new clothes

160

Behold a child's praise  
To imitate their father  
Behold yet the father's praise  
To work with the son  
-  
Yea this is more pleasing  
Than all the vain words  
Ever spoken for the hypocrite  
Is not satisfied with just destroying himself  
-  
Low destruction to the liar  
To the deceiver that smiles  
But in his heart craves death  
And rejoices over leadership  
-  
Lift up your heart to God  
Let it melt by the fire  
He has kindled against the evil doer  
It is better to die  
Than to die without living

161

With breath and a word  
God created the world  
What love he has shown unto me  
-  
He carved with mud  
And said yes it is good  
With blood he has set us all free  
-  
With wonder to bear  
And wisdom to share  
For God is way bigger than I  
-  
Salvation I found  
A praise from the ground  
He even makes blind men to see  
-  
Shout out with joy  
That God passed you by  
And allowed you to live in his love  
-  
Talk in the street  
To people you meet  
Repent for life has begun

162

A time of trouble  
A time of trial  
Whispers tell me  
Just wait a while  
An on-going scream  
In my head  
Sometimes I wished  
That I was dead  
A troubled boy  
Without a youth  
Without a dream  
There's no dispute  
A raging tide  
Wells up inside  
With secrets hidden  
That I've denied  
A grip upon my very soul  
I ask in prayer  
Can I be whole?  
I try to stand  
And then I fall  
I beat my fist against the wall  
A lone tear that channels  
From my heart  
Please Lord take me  
Back to the start

163

Just a little love to help me through today  
Just a little touch to take away the grey  
Just a simple word to show me that you care  
Just a little courage to help me to prepare  
Thank you for your joy  
You gave me when I fell  
Thank you for your grace  
Beyond the gates of hell  
Thank you for the time  
You spend with me each day  
Even for your ear  
That hears me when I pray  
Jesus you have loved me  
More than I can bear  
More than I can thank you  
More than I can share

164

O what peace to have love  
To know Jesus is good  
With richness in prayer  
And good sense than to share  
What comfort to know wherever we go  
We don't walk alone  
Our Saviour is known in all that we do  
Nothing is new but Jesus is true

165 Jesus the man

Our Saviour walks the earth  
A man in touch with pain giving all he has  
And never seeking gain  
To never have a friend to lean on either side  
To never stop and think for in him was no pride  
Who can talk of love and say they really care  
Who can share a burden, the thought is even rare  
We lift the Lord on high  
And bring ourselves down low  
We learn to love in weakness  
And then we start to grow

166

Should I give up, the way seems so hard  
Like every attempt  
Has been stopped or been bared  
-  
God finds no pleasure in those who sink back  
Run from the battle  
Because of the attack  
-  
Though you are weak, faith goes on strong  
Time to face up to  
Ourselves and our wrong  
-  
Satan accuser of our very soul  
Thief and deceiver  
Of our very goals

167

I clenched my fist to contain my fear  
I felt upon my cheek a tear  
Love I never felt before  
I struck my fist against the door  
My anger raged up inside  
From there was sown a seed of pride  
A wall built up so strong of hate  
An angry child who couldn't relate  
My fear it grew and dragged me down  
Until my faith could not be found  
Then came Jesus with his cross  
And showed me love in his cause  
He took my heart in his light  
And in his love I'll stand and fight

168

Listen you island  
Out on your own  
Be still and stay silent  
I hear your moan  
I hear your cry  
From the deep of the sea  
I know your will  
To freely be free  
-  
Stop all the things  
You really hate  
Like sitting with fools  
Who'll never relate  
Turn to God  
And he'll cause you to see  
The truth never left you  
The truth makes you clean  
-  
So look unto Jesus  
Who finished the race  
Ran his lap of honour  
To prove it by grace  
Nothing can take  
What God himself gave  
And the truth is so simple  
Jesus lives and he saves

169

A second in time  
Nothing is sure  
People are false  
Truth is the cure  
-  
The way is straight  
Nothing to fear  
Speak with conviction  
If people will hear  
-  
I am who I am  
I'm not ashamed  
I'm saved by grace  
I can't be blamed  
-  
Every man's an island  
That wants to join the land  
Destroyed by desire  
Left broken like the sand  
-  
Turn away from death  
Burn with fires of truth  
Stand up to the lies  
And dare to hear some fruit

170

Thunder fills the air  
With power in it's roar  
Hail storming fiercely  
Backing up the roar  
Greatness showing wrath  
With lightening striking bold  
Dread a fear takes over  
Every man was told  
With sudden flood for cover  
God puts out his hand  
Turn to me for refuge  
Repent you worthless man  
Look at what I done  
So I could set you free  
I sent my only Son  
In love so you would see  
Turn to me you rebel  
You fool without a clue  
What will bring you peace  
In everything you do

171

Jesus came himself  
And look at what he did  
Such evil in our hearts  
More evil in our head  
But what has changed today  
And the time we give you now  
Everybody is lost  
And no-one wonders how  
-  
I laugh but then I cry  
At the truth so close at hand  
The gospel in the Bible  
Where the waters there were calmed  
Teaching all abound  
From the beginning to the end  
But they'd rather teach the law  
And be driven round the bend  
-  
Hype-less hype and glory  
When Jesus leads the way  
But the love of money grows  
It's a scream ten hear them pray  
Laugh and joke go on  
Jesus holds the key  
It's by grace that you're saved  
That sets the sinners free

172

The seeker for the truth  
Goes from church to church  
Looking for the answers  
Somewhere he can perch  
-  
The truth is in the Bible  
The truth is plain to see  
We need it for survival  
We need it to be set free  
-  
Help me if you can  
Proclaim the truth out loud  
Forget about your life  
If you want to face the crowd  
-  
Such a simple message  
So simple and made clear  
People fight against it  
They try to make you fear  
-  
It's only by the Spirit  
And the word that cuts the heart  
And God who gives the word  
To set all men apart

173

You showed me your power  
That cuts through the night  
You gave me more  
Than I ever thought right  
I cling to you close  
In order to stand  
I burden myself  
To speak to the land  
-  
I often get wounded  
With lies of great weight  
I trouble myself  
To take it in faith  
At last when I turn  
To sink in your words  
The way remains simple  
And I'm reassured  
-  
Thank you for giving  
Abundance to me  
I wish I could show it  
For people to see  
Still you are God  
And I am a shell  
The Spirit redeems  
And saved from hell through Jesus

174 Searching

Yearning to be free  
For peace within your mind  
Searching for a road  
That's hidden from the blind  
Loneliness comes haunting  
Causing you to run  
To find a place of refuge  
Where it all began  
To overcome the past  
Is to face your darkest fear  
Returning isn't easy  
But God is always near  
Finally you make it  
And when you truly see  
Jesus never left you  
And all he has done is set you free  
For us there is today  
The rest is in our head  
You either live for the moment  
Or you will be stuck in the past

175

Strictly for believers  
Jesus raised his call  
Repent and follow me  
And I won't let you fall  
People came in crowds  
And gathered all around  
Listening to his teaching  
While sitting on the ground  
He stood up to the priests  
And scorned them for their lies  
Digging deep with truth  
Stripping their disguise  
Wonderful and loving  
In suffering and pain  
Powerful and mighty  
Nothing was in vain  
O, the joy and thought  
Of standing by his side  
Living for a reason  
Nothing left to hide

# CHAPTER 8

176

Taking time for healing,  
To reflect upon the word  
Standing still in weakness  
For new meaning reassured  
Plainly in the background  
We know what's going on  
Even in God's presence  
While we sing our songs  
No man holds the key,  
Together we can try  
What's the point in waiting?  
While their people cry  
I don't ask for plenty,  
I don't even ask a lot  
But you have the faith,  
It must be worth a shot

177

To stand for Jesus  
To give him your life  
To walk in his love  
To live in his light  
To hear him talk  
With love in his voice  
He gave his life  
To give us the choice  
He rose from the dead  
And made his gift free  
He healed the blind  
For all to see  
Salvation abound  
That covered the earth  
We're guilty of sin  
That Jesus has born

178

Love digs in deep  
And opens the heart  
Opens your eyes  
And sets you apart  
Away from the robot  
They want to fit in  
He deadens your emotions  
Before you begin  
But don't be alarmed  
And don't be afraid  
Jesus is the way  
And he overcame  
Casting out religion  
And smashing up the lies  
He even turned up the tables  
You shouldn't be surprised

179

Foul sin was laid on me  
But Christ has set me free  
I feared and fell down low  
My God has beckoned me  
-  
The truth has passed through me  
The awesome Spirit of life  
You train me like a man  
With sword that shines as light  
-  
Weak within my heart  
You work to make me strong  
Simple as the truth  
Joyful to my song  
-  
Labour in the lost  
Meet them on the ground  
You will find good  
Sweetness in the sound

180

Love hold me fast  
I'm wounded in the heart  
Comfort my pain  
I'm torn apart  
-  
A need or desire  
Too painful to see  
The casual scream  
Becomes part of me  
-  
The past is a horror  
The future seems lame  
Time at a standstill  
All things are the same  
-  
Behind alive created survived  
Broken in pain no gain just insane  
Do things, don't think  
They've got to be done  
Don't get freaked out  
Not everything's fun

181

Elijah in the desert  
Who walked with God alone  
Refusing all the fraud  
As God led him home  
-  
Remember then Elisha  
And honour to God's great hand  
Standing by the footprint  
Living by God's plan  
-  
Think about the plan  
Never loosing ground  
God always faithful  
As Elisha he soon found  
-  
Broken up by the Spirit  
Taken up by God  
Living on in faith  
Righteousness was sought  
-  
O my loving God  
Take my broken soul  
Replace it with your Spirit  
Then I'll reach my goal

182

Righteousness works peace  
And comfort in your soul  
Silence and assurance  
Work in you the bold  
-  
Don't forget his love  
When trials come near your tent  
Think of a reminder  
And ask how to repent  
-  
Open up your eyes  
Live to hear his voice  
Everything he says  
He gives you a choice  
-  
Sin is for a season  
And only lasts a while  
Think of it  
Some say just a trial  
-  
Remember in your haste  
His love is all abound  
Listen for the way  
And praise God from the ground

183

Peace within my heart  
Peace within my soul  
Peace in a desert  
Makes the desert whole  
-  
Soft as the mud  
God moves his mighty hand  
Raising up a people  
More numbered than the sand  
-  
Wise without correction  
His love within I share  
I walk along with my Maker  
And wisdom comforts  
-  
Look up to my God  
His love will take you in  
He will set your name apart  
And wash away your sin  
-  
Praise you God, O Jesus  
Finally I've found  
A love without corruption  
Peace without a sound

184

It's hard to fall in love  
When you're living in fear  
It's hard to show your love  
When you can't draw people near  
-  
It's hard to be alone  
When you want so much to give  
It's hard to just survive  
When you really want to live  
-  
Time as we know it  
Is who you are right now  
Broken or down-hearted  
At the feet of God we bow  
-  
Lend your arm of mercy  
Show my cause is right  
I'm not strong or brave  
But love itself is might  
-  
Might enough to stand  
In the face of death  
Over-throwing evil  
A love without regret

185

To repent is love  
And sacrifice growth  
To love your neighbour  
Is something you should note  
-  
Remember the day  
You let the Lord in  
He made you feel good  
And cleansed you of sin  
-  
Nothing has changed  
But you walked away  
Jesus still follows  
He's there to stay  
-  
The joy that you lost  
Is like loosing your crown  
Give praise to the Lord  
His store is abound  
-  
O deep is my need  
To stand in your grace  
And know that someday  
I'll see your face

186

O little wonderful  
Seek out the Lord  
Thou art wonderful  
In the sight of God  
-  
Seek don't look back  
Follow with your heart of hearts  
To find God is like  
Onto a spring in the desert  
-  
Don't sit down and sleep  
Awake your valiant heart  
Run with the wind  
Don't let the dust overcome you  
-  
Rest from your labour  
Lay your head upon my shoulder  
I am with you  
You are with me

187

In the face of truth  
Arguments will die  
Lowly men will rise  
The proud will cry  
-  
In the face of truth  
No man speaks a word  
But filled with all God gave them  
Their life is re-assured  
-  
In God's great humility  
He even gave himself  
Show us the way  
For you are the only wealth  
-  
Open up your eyes  
And you will surely live  
Learn to take from God  
And learn to freely give  
-  
Open up your eyes  
And his words of life  
Repent and learn to live  
Learn of all God's might

188

Flattery and pride  
Deception and wealth  
Vanity and lies  
I wonder how God felt  
-  
Humble to the homeless  
Foolish to the wise  
Healer to the broken  
Eyes for the blind  
-  
In the face of truth  
His children turn away  
God is waiting patiently  
To see if they would pray

189

A blind man cannot see  
Unless he sees the light  
Jesus speaks the truth  
And never had to fight  
-  
Listen to the gentle  
Strong sound of the Lord  
Drawing sinners near  
To see who he adored  
-  
Humble to the death  
With life within his hands  
And angels by the thousands  
All at his command  
-  
For death could never hold him  
He knew how to live  
He never took a thing  
But taught us how to live  
-  
Vanity is lonely  
But love can fill the gap  
Turn your heart to Jesus  
Don't always be a sap

190

From the shadow of death  
To the river of life  
God is my Refuge  
His peace drowns out strife  
-  
From the darkness of hate  
To the love of God's hand  
His splendour expands  
From the dust of the lands  
-  
Great is his joy  
For one to repent  
Full in his love  
His own Son he sent  
-  
Kneel down and cry  
Lament in your way  
Turn back from the vain things  
For short is the day  
-  
Man made from mud  
With breath from our God  
Think yourself mighty  
Too plainly a fraud

191

O the burden that I bear  
In Salvation everywhere  
And the lost cry out in need  
But turn from you in deed  
O the trouble of my soul  
As I strive unto my goal  
To touch the hearts of the lost  
To tell them that they can  
Such mercy you have shown  
And strength to walk alone  
The trouble that I bear  
The gospel that I share  
As the Spirit lives in me  
Then truly I am free  
But the lost all race for hell  
And I could have gone as well  
Jesus hear my cry  
Please why must people die?  
As surely as I breathe  
I know you will succeed

192

An army went to war but fought against itself  
Boasting of their spoils, sorrow was their wealth  
Peace became forgotten  
War was in their heart  
Forgetting what they fought for  
Death was just the start  
Men and hungry children  
Were killed instead of fed  
Shopping for new pleasure  
With venom in their heart  
I kneel and come before you  
And pray on their behalf  
Remind them of their peace  
They'd have it if they asked

193

Soft as your breast close to my cheek  
I hear your heart beat; your love makes me weak  
Hold me my love don't leave me alone  
I want you to hold me and make your love known  
I capture your touch with the warmth of my breath  
I long to behold you in the strength of my arms  
With nothing to hide and no falseness or charms  
My love is within me, deep in my soul  
I'm weak with compassion, O Lord take me home

194

My church my faithful home  
I bless you every day  
You show me so much love  
You guide me on my way  
-  
My church a holy arm  
I bless you in my sleep  
I hold so close your heart  
And prayer so true and deep  
-  
My Jesus true and bright  
Who's given me this day  
A grace so full and broad  
I love your every way  
-  
I love you Lord  
And praise you  
I open up my arms  
In your saving grace  
I know that nothing harms

195

The slaughter of the innocent  
Through famine and judgment  
Though I walk in grace  
My silence is murder to the dead  
My heart sinks, I long for love  
I rage because I desire love  
O beneath me I burn deeply  
I stand in the fear of God  
Without Saviour to replace my loss  
I only feel such  
Agony because the statues show Jesus  
Left on the cross  
All churches remember  
The cross with a statue or  
Others with words  
There I am destroyed for want of life  
I seek actions  
If I never heard  
Another word for the rest of my life  
I know I would melt into living by actions

196 Alive

Passionate about a waterfall  
Like it rains upon your soul  
Alive within a caption  
That completes and makes you  
Whole  
As vibrant as the sunset  
And true as this is day  
I stop and kneel before you  
And begin from there to pray

197 Laughing in Spirit

Cutting at the cobwebs  
Loosening the child  
Filled within your spirit  
Temperature has boiled  
My spirit is so laughing  
He knows what goes on  
He's loosening the child  
And lifted up with song  
Word of joy then reached me  
Entering my soul  
Praising Jesus fully  
Of grace he made me whole  
To open up your eyes  
To look upon his face  
Forget about the world and find a better place

198 Change

Change always present, carrying a chain  
Loos'd by expression, nothing is in vain  
Time forever growing, taking you alone  
Creating you in newness, adding verses to your song  
Living for the moment, with prayer upon your tongue  
For every moment praising, for life that just began

199

Pure has been and is, but not upon the earth  
Faith is with a child but, at the point of birth  
Love is in your heart, but bottled up by pride  
Jesus done it all, but why is he denied  
With freedom in his heart  
And grace upon his tongue  
He even knew our names  
Before the world began  
But stirring up the hate  
That welled within the man  
We raged and done our worst  
We formed into a gang, now I see your love  
Because I made you die, rose back from the dead  
Because you heard me cry  
Precious is your love  
That wells up from the soul  
Precious is your grace  
That aims to make me whole

200 A tear for a heart's throb

O my Maker of love, late I have tried  
My heart is a bomb shell, from running I've died  
I kneel down before you, have mercy  
Ply my heart; it's a bomb shell, my loves running dry  
-  
My brain started hurting with conviction to bear  
My logic had left, me empty and bear  
I kneel down before you, have mercy I cry  
My heart is dying so, slowly sigh  
-  
What wonder is this that seem I have found  
Forgiveness salvation as praise from the ground  
My sin and my burden have been lifted for good  
My Lord is my Refuge, my Maker  
-  
In volumes it is written Salvation is free  
His heart burst wide open and covered the sea  
My children and lanterns of this wicked place  
Put on your faith and finish the race

# CHAPTER 9

201 Delight at the sight

Soon I shall be strong with my gifts once again  
Neglected have I let them become  
But as I seek the Lord's discipline for my life,  
To seek his face with all my heart,  
I am sure that discipline in every area will come  
Challenged I am to be as God wants,  
And I want to show my dedication to God  
God is love, and he has given me life  
And I want to trust in him for my hearts desires  
And delight in him so much that  
No one can stir me from his presence

202 Discipline

I wish to argue no longer  
Against what I have done  
Or to what I haven't done  
My jaw grows sore and tired  
From speaking too many words  
That I wish to take back now  
But as sure as I have strayed  
So is it definite for God to rebuke  
But I seek his discipline  
And ask that he will set me on his path

203 Do it Right

Last night I read of my last big attempt  
To walk strong with the Lord  
A few months ago and for only a couple of weeks  
This is what I truly fear,  
To take a chance again and fail,  
Because promises I make to God  
Are broken and since last time,  
It's taken me till now to recover from guilt  
From the mistakes I made, but I want to try again  
And as usual I could fail, but it is a struggle and  
I must keep on trying until I do it right

204 Don't be a Statistic

Times, ages all change, but to be honest  
They never really do, do they?  
You find the same sins now  
As one did thousands of years back  
The millennium generation is here,  
And I for one am disgusted at what I see and to  
To which my statistic takes part  
It worries me that one day if I have kids that I'll  
Be bringing them to this perverted world,  
Hoping for the best, praying for them,  
That they'll be one to serve God  
I worry much, very much  
Even for those ten years younger than I,  
Because they will face more then I ever had to

205 Eat or starve

Like a mermaid on land  
Or a fish out of water,  
I feel within myself  
I'm at a standstill,  
I'm stuck in a traffic jam that doesn't move  
But like a fish on land  
I just wriggle from side to side,  
Because I can't move otherwise  
People walk by and look with pity  
They sigh at the sight of one  
Who jumped out of his bowl  
To slowly die  
But I have an owner  
Just like a goldfish does  
He is my Keeper,  
And he rescues me by placing me  
Back where I belong  
He feeds me daily, but it is,  
Down to me if I want to eat

206 Encouraged

Encouraged I am to fight with a daily battle  
To improve myself whatever way  
That's possible for me  
I wish to gain qualities  
I've never seen before,  
And in bigger quantities  
Than I've ever dreamed,  
This is because now  
I have a vision of God in my heart,  
And nothing else to me is more important  
Than taking up my daily cross  
With God each and every day  
This is my aim, and my hope,  
I pray I'll achieve it

207 Everlasting Love

Thank you for your guidance  
Through my years of turmoil  
The most likely years of me going astray,  
You kept me close enough to you  
Now I'm stepping into my last  
Year as a teen I get older day by day  
Month by month and year by year  
And even though one day I'll have wrinkles  
One thing still won't have changed  
And that's your love for me

208 Exciting

Green like a meadow  
Bright like a yellow  
Blue sky shines bright  
Till the grey clouds block blue,  
Because yellow is hindered  
And green is darkened  
But thin clouds come  
And yellow breaks through to  
Brighten the darkened green  
And one would see gaps of blue  
Who ever said nature bores?  
Its God's creation, and it's exciting

209 Express

Express so much joy,  
Express so much love,  
Because God grants us so much joy and happiness  
He sends it down in power,  
For us to take a hold of  
He doesn't want to see us sad,  
But he wants to see us O so happy  
Express so much forgiveness  
To others that they will see God in our lives,  
And God will use that to  
Reach to their hearts  
Express what God expresses to us

210 Friendship

I can just picture myself  
Going out one morning  
High on a mountain,  
Taking a step, then another  
Until I reach my goal,  
I will talk to you,  
Just as if you are there too  
I know you would be,  
And I would talk about everything,  
And ask many things  
This would be my offer of friendship  
To you, and agreement of peace  
And then I'll lie back on the grass,  
Eyes open looking at the sky,  
And let my heart fly up to you

211

The sayers and the doers  
Live in different worlds  
One of them is straight  
The other is curled  
-  
The time moves in track  
With people on the end  
Some people truthful  
Others just pretend  
-  
Pity and great sorrow  
Don't compare to grace  
God is nothing timely  
Cause you're in another place  
-  
Jesus gave his life  
And took it up again  
Grace to those who seek him  
Those who come again

212

Overwhelmed by poison  
Driven to the end  
Never find reward  
The path has no bend  
-  
Open me and talk  
To the silence in my soul  
What has happened to the pieces  
That once made me whole  
-  
I need to be alone  
I struggle to be brave  
I gave you from my heart  
Hold me make me safe  
-  
I want to understand  
Help me to relate  
I'm starving my gut  
My soul it cannot wait  
-  
Thirsty soul  
Desert fire  
Broken heart  
Wrong desire

213

The desert horizon  
Clutching for life  
Split down the middle  
By sword or by knife  
Help me and guide me  
I'm broken in two  
Jesus my Saviour  
I give all to you  
-  
Heard as I try  
It's grace not by works  
At times I'm glad  
Even grace has its perks  
Alone and tired  
I search the way  
My goal is love  
I kneel and pray  
-  
My heart is lost  
For you to hold  
To grow with you  
Until I'm old  
To know you're there  
Every single day  
Gives me hope  
Takes my breath away

214

Wise men foolish men, vanity and pride  
Those who live by grace  
Those who already died  
Living on the edge  
With a sense of fear  
Crying for more purposes  
Jesus draws me near,  
Take me in your arms  
Show me how to love  
Teach me what it means  
Cause God alone is good

215

Destitute re-revelation, with fighting till the end  
Corruption in my blood, a frustrated blend  
Gripped by belief, pardoned by grace  
Alive without purposes  
All hell do I face  
A hope in the flames  
A message in the dark  
Burning up inside  
Like I'd been kicked in heart  
I try to be some help  
To travellers on their way  
I try to give them courage  
But faithful men just pray

216

The end comes from the beginning  
The way is plain to see  
Don't confuse your reason  
And you will reach your goal  
-  
In God there is no time  
He sees when we pretend  
He knows the way of man  
He gives the broken mend  
-  
Turn aside your folly  
Pride will burn you up  
Give yourself to wisdom  
Listen to your gut  
-  
Peace and joy I give you  
Freely as a gift  
Labour for God's favour  
And God will lift you up

217

Submitting to God  
In and hour of prayer  
Tears for his love  
Joy for his care  
Live for the moment  
Sing God a song  
All that I've done  
Till now has been wrong  
-  
Don't think of the past  
Like when you began  
Stop and remember  
The race has been won  
The future will come  
In a blazing great light  
A moment in time  
When all things are right  
-  
O God I remember  
The day I was born  
Renew me in love  
Don't let me mourn  
Just like back then  
When things were alright  
I stood by your side  
And you were my fight

218

Shadow of darkness  
Chained to the grave  
Victims of greed  
Makes all men a slave  
-  
A gap in the soul  
That needs to be filled  
A panic a cry  
That cannot be stilled  
-  
A screaming cry  
In the dark of your soul  
A need and desire  
For love to take hold  
-  
Angering pain  
A need to relate  
Some purposes or goal  
For this lonely state  
-  
You know its not you  
But true to all man  
A search for the truth  
What is right?

219

Heart beat is not blind  
Directing every way  
Follow your heart  
There is no other  
-  
Set your heart on Jesus  
The light upon your path  
Serving out of love  
Holding back God's wrath  
-  
Peace with your heart  
Praise with all that lives  
Jesus is the healing  
In him all things give  
-  
What men are wise?  
Or great by sight of God  
Everything we labour  
Is vanity and fraud  
-  
Thank you that salvation  
Was given to us all free  
Even through our trials  
Work to make us see

220

Praise the Lord for love  
Praise the Lord for joy  
Praise the Lord for peace  
Praise the Lord O try  
-  
Thank you for your gift  
For shortening the road  
Thinking of my heart  
And lightening my load  
-  
Over all the hills  
And under the great sea  
Giving me your love  
Setting sinners free  
-  
Alas the awe and wonder  
In the stretching of your hand  
Every fine tuned detail  
Before the world was planned  
-  
Big, even greater  
Than I could ever sound  
Greater than my thoughts  
O thank you I've been found

221

The power of love  
Not seen with your eyes  
The will to try help  
The cold lonely cries  
Lost in the dark  
No definite path  
But step on the boundaries  
And find out God's wrath  
Alone but yet full  
Of comfort to share  
God said don't worry  
Don't even care  
But what do I do  
And where do I go  
Show me the way  
Cause I do not know  
Alone and in conflict  
In all that I do  
I try to add purposes  
To live more like you  
Show me your power  
Like servants of old  
I know I'm not worthy  
And so I've been told

222

People pay for counselling  
A friend to lend an ear  
But dare he speak the truth  
Because the truth is what they fear  
-  
Their money to burn  
From lives they've destroyed  
Their hearts become rock  
They live but they've died  
-  
They take time to teach  
Their children the same  
Life becomes empty  
With nothing to gain  
-  
Lost without hope  
But what do they do  
They reach out in pain  
And hurt me and you  
-  
If only they'd look  
At those who have less  
Who give what they have  
I'll leave you to guess?

223

The tragedy of Moses  
For the people in the land  
Led into the desert  
Fed from God's own hand  
-  
They cried out loud with anguish  
Give us meat for our desire  
Who could tame their fury  
What they called upon was fire  
-  
With limited belief  
They knew not what was good  
They tested God's assurance  
His blood was shed  
-  
Jesus said with sadness  
How can you not believe  
What I have withheld  
That you have not received  
-  
Come to me in faith  
And believe within your heart  
Our God who hears our cry  
Will set our name apart

224

It's a long road  
Without any turn  
The way is narrow  
And hurts like a burn  
I burn inside  
With a boiling great rage  
Trapped by a fear  
I'm locked in a cage  
-  
I break through the bars  
With roars like a lion  
Releasing my rage  
A free man left crying  
Free to be lonely  
Alive to not care  
Friendship with Jesus  
Like fire I bear  
-  
Comfort for trouble  
Peace for your mind  
Wisdom for folly  
Fight for the blind  
The greatest of gifts  
For the smallest of faith  
Why can't I say it?  
Why can't they relate

225

Penetrating silence  
Laying down the soul  
Resting on the hills  
Content to grow old  
-  
Resting in the place  
Of counsel from our God  
Looking at perfection  
From a place made up of fraud  
-  
As the thunder roars  
Of anger at man  
I fear so greatly  
At the might of your hands  
-  
Awesome awoken  
Fearless great king  
Stir up this earth  
So I may begin

# CHAPTER 10

226

To do no more  
And have no less  
Within the way  
Of no regret  
-  
Fight for love  
With all your heart  
Don't give up  
Stand apart  
-  
Look to God  
Don't look back  
See the light  
Cast out the black  
-  
Joy and fear  
All abound  
The greatest joy  
That was ever found  
-  
Live in hope  
And run the race  
Pray to God  
And seek his face

227

Submit and commit  
Love and be alive  
Be humble in power  
Do more than survive  
-  
Rest by the river  
Eat of tasty mead  
Pray for daily bread  
As you sit by Jesus' feet  
-  
Remember awesome things  
And know the way he died  
Ask about his plan  
Put away your pride  
-  
Rest upon his grace  
That's strong enough to hold  
Grace means grace  
So go out and be bold  
-  
Bold but yet humble  
Jesus proves what's good  
Humble to the death  
Cause no-one else could

228

Don't awake my love  
Let it rest for a while  
I've prayed so long and hard  
Everything has boiled  
-  
Save O Lord my love  
I've placed it on their soul  
I preach, show them peace  
Their ways are hard and cold  
-  
Don't awake my love  
I can't bear the hurt  
It's plain to see they need you  
My heart is going to burst  
-  
Deliver me O Jesus  
Why take away my life  
I dig so deep to find you  
Away from all the strife  
-  
Now O Lord please come  
Draw all men to hear  
Tell them you're a God of love  
And that love should not be feared

229  
Target of love  
Of broken detour  
Fear of not holding  
Of how much to share  
-  
Hallowed the ground  
Of balance and scale  
Fare in return  
Such love should you hail  
-  
Alone on a sea  
Of wind in the air  
A long to reach land  
A life to prepare  
-  
The marriage waits  
With Jesus on side  
I crumble to dust  
In shame did I hide  
-  
Come hear my love  
Your burden I'll bear  
I long to be near you  
To show you I cared

230

Judas the betrayer  
Let me take your place  
How could you deceive  
With a kiss upon the face?  
Jesus being all things  
Hold me by your side  
I'm not much better than Judas  
Cause all men have denied  
Jesus, you see right through my soul  
You wash me from my sin  
In your arms of intersection  
You work to make me win  
I'm alive  
I survived  
And I'm free of pride

231 Fulfilment

I hear a cry, a call,  
Coming through the window  
From the darkness  
The lost are running in circles  
Collecting their wealth and immorality,  
Ignoring the fact they are mortal  
And their spirits inside are dying,  
Many of whom  
Will never be re-born  
But the cry they make  
The lost souls that try to find fulfilment  
In whatever they can achieve  
But I'm sitting here looking out at them,  
And I know that fulfilment  
In life only comes from God  
I know, the meaning of life  
To which they search for  
Simply, they don't find it because  
They don't look to God for it  
It strikes me; it's down to me,  
My brothers and sisters to say something

232

Lord, I've decided to go for it, once again  
I know that I failed you last time  
And all the times before, because of my sin  
Sin, once again could well be  
If anything, what pulls me back this time  
Lord help me take control of myself,  
So that I can hand the control over to you  
I lack the strength of mind, the strength of will  
To go at it again and not to fail  
I pray that you will help me Lord,  
And I thank you for your faithfulness,  
And for your forgiveness,  
Because I know that even though I fail  
I can start over again

233 Guide to Strength

My life is in your hands  
To guide through this life  
It's become like a safari park down here,  
Eat or be eaten,  
That's why I ask for you to decide  
All my decisions, all my plans,  
Strong is trust, if it's in you  
Weak is trust, if it's in the world  
Lord, you are the one  
That holds truth in your hands  
And justice and love as your symbol,  
On your shield  
Weak is the world compared to you,  
Strong you are over all heaven and earth  
I want to be strong like you,  
I have been weak for many years,  
But, now,  
I want to be strong like you

234 Help Icon

I just want to love you more Lord Jesus  
I just want to be in your presence  
Worshiping, adoring, admiring you  
I cannot realize how real you are  
You're sitting up there in heaven  
Looking down on us, Lord just  
Remember back to when you were here,  
Was it not hard to stand and proclaim  
At the threat of death?  
Yes, of course you did,  
You suffered more than I ever will,  
I'm just asking you to take into mind  
When I fail, when I fall short,  
That you've been there too,  
But I'm not as strong as you,  
And I need your help to make it to the end

235 He shines

He shines down on me  
And through me it reflects to others  
That is what I hope happens  
When his love pours out on me  
Great times, close times  
With his Holy Spirit  
Set my heart alive with love,  
And I want to walk  
And pray for whoever God tells me to  
Yes, he shines, he reigns  
He loves, he forgives,  
He is king, he is Lord  
He is great, he shines  
He is love and justice,  
And he is just so forgiving  
Yes, he shines down on me  
So I can show others  
Of his awesome love  
And that he shines brighter  
Than the mid-day sun

236 I belong to Jesus

Hallelujah, praise the Lord  
I will shout,  
He has saved me  
And I want to sing and dance  
And lift on high  
The Saviour Jesus Christ  
I was worth nothing  
To me or anyone  
But Jesus died for me  
And paid for me  
Now I am something,  
As long as I live for God  
Because people can now see  
God is in me, I hope they do  
For his ways are mine,  
And his plans are mine  
I belong to God

237 Little Slip

Thank you for what you have taught me,  
And thank you for what you will teach me  
Although, I still do not achieve  
To spend enough time with you  
In song, prayer and the word  
I do still have my aim,  
And that is to draw to you  
Teach me now Lord  
Discipline to put to work, at my aim  
I just can't seem to hold to it,  
But Lord I fell, a little slip,  
Where I need to feel growth  
Help me Lord I ask  
To dwell in your presence daily,  
And seek your face  
Till the day I die

238 Made me cry

I get shivers down my spine  
When I think of what you could use me for  
Once I had no use  
But you seen my emptiness,  
And filled it with your love  
I could hear your voice,  
Saying to me, I love you  
It made me cry and it still does  
Because who am I?  
But since that time  
You've been giving me experience  
At many so different things  
Which one will tie together  
In ways which I'll never understand  
All my bad times  
And weaknesses you took a hold of,  
And gave them back  
As my good times  
And weaknesses became my strength  
My answer is you  
I love you and thank you

239 Motivation

Being very tired makes me depressed,  
Every reaction reacts a counter reaction  
I am ashamed of this, I am,  
For I can not be what I should be  
And I cannot be what God wants  
Because I just can't get up to go  
Even though I want to  
Nothing holds me back now except me,  
And it seems like everything lies ahead,  
But there's nothing I can do  
But I am wrong,  
I need better motivation, and then I'll have started

240 My Future

I worry about my future,  
I worry about my life  
Help me Lord make my decision  
And help me get all the opportunities  
You are willing to give to me  
I'm afraid because I don't know what to do  
I scared because I don't know where to go  
Which is best? What will I do?  
How do I cope if it doesn't work  
Or if it doesn't go? But Lord, I know  
You'll help me decide, help, please

241

I remember the days in my Father's house  
I remember the days of my youth  
I regret the mistakes I have made  
I remember when I ran away  
Took my wealth along with me  
And threw it all away and now, I'm here  
Cause after I lost my money  
I got a job with pigs  
Nothing to eat but pig's food, I was so ashamed  
Will I set out to my Father's house?  
Or sit here in shame  
Will I set out to my Fathers house?  
Or face my loneliness  
Will I set out to my Fathers house?  
And I came to my senses  
It was a long way from home  
But while I was still far off... he ran to me  
Put his arms around me...and welcomed me  
But I have sinned against you and heaven  
I am no longer worthy  
And as a tear dropped from his eye  
I heard my Father say, quick bring a robe  
Put a ring on his finger,  
Tonight we'll have a feast to celebrate,  
For today my son has come home

242

When the sun begins to fade  
I look out across the sea  
It is there I see your face  
Shining in the moonlit glaze  
Under stars that make no friends  
By the sea that never rests  
Here you are right next to me  
Sharing life's only true love  
-  
When night's air becomes too cold  
I will draw you close to me  
In each others arms we will stay  
Smiling by the moonlit glaze  
Under stars that make no friends  
By the sea that never rests  
Here you are right next to me  
Sharing life's only true love

243

Sometimes you have to doubt yourself before  
You can be sure of yourself,  
I may put you on a pedestal with  
How brilliant I think you are  
But never doubt that I love the  
Real you inside your heart  
Things in life can often repeat themselves  
But paths that lead no where should be left behind  
And those that bring you happiness  
Need to be fought for  
But which is which? Look down deep into your heart  
And you will see that you  
Already know that to forget, you have to heal  
To heal you have to love, and feel it in return  
And for those big decisions  
Always look to your heart, not your head  
Cause your heart is true  
And your head can fill with junk

244

Some things are never returned  
I laughed at your name but you make my heart cry  
I was ready for you, why did you have to die?  
I would have taken your place  
That morning when my heart you broke  
Tears soak through this empty house  
I'll see you in that place above

245

Dark river runs through my brain  
I can't stop all this pain  
False impressions are hard to swallow  
Or am I just too damn shallow  
Wise men speak, but I just weep  
Darkness falls clouding me  
One last rope, one last hope  
Am I just a stupid dope?  
Or is it just with life that I can't cope  
Bright flashes warm my heart  
But is it real, which is true  
The eye has seen but the heart has not heard  
The ears are open, but the mind is closed,  
What can be done, it's not fun  
Why is my request not heard?  
Open my eyes, but not their lids  
Splinters berry the hardest mind  
But I see things of a different kind  
Old friend help me, I'm falling in,  
Promises you gave, now you must keep

246

Haunted shame, distant pain  
Hidden deep, am I sane  
Can I make them hands stop  
Fade away into the shade  
Softest of songs drift above  
Peace inside, peace within  
Mumblings made to story tell  
Drive this home, hope you're well  
Flying away you look down  
Turn those hands and see the dirt  
Nothing washes, nothing cleans  
Burying deep my drifted dreams  
Build me a wall and make it strong  
So I can fall, trip, trip and fall  
Swimming no limbs, flying no wings  
Drift here to see my drunken words  
House washed away by my broken tears  
Soul taken by the rising flood  
To carry me home, twisted fate

247

Haunted sleep, avoiding sheep  
Music soothes distracts me  
I'd run if I could flee  
Escape me the way from tomorrow  
Repress it out my door  
Keep inside what's sore  
Nothing believes my faith  
Panicked path promises power  
Heartless loss life passes  
Fast forward past now  
Too fast to see me stop  
And see no belief in crop  
Withered walls crumble  
Bark seeps, hearts weep  
Leave circle life's path  
But mine's coal  
Cindered lost paths replay my mind

248

I may lend you a rope, to drag over my hope  
The blue sea water gull, Could fill your glass full  
To empty your issues elope  
From a green consumed dope  
Greet nothing to this lull  
Your January issues please call  
-  
Inhale my relief, destroy my belief  
Swallow that peace  
Easy it takes me to that thinking place  
Where plans are forgotten, or maybe just delayed?  
Re-compensate injustice please

249

Sweet winds release the tears,  
Remembered it got lost,  
Somewhere along them lines,  
Turned rollers in my fears,  
No idea of the cost,  
Things just crossed em lines,  
Lost hearts of my soul,  
Stripped to feel nothing,  
Nothing but the peace,  
Peace is found, Maybe down some hole,  
Lost battle ring, Would give sum release,  
Capture the damn mound

250

When dreams soar through the ashes of my desire,  
The bruised apples lie rotting into mush,  
Hidden inside the one piece of eternity, life itself  
Reborn from the neglect that left it there

Other books by the author

Prayer, Poems Songs

Book of Prophecies

Boy who Dreams

Be Revived _Prophecies & Revelations_

Be Revived _Open the Box_

Revival Prayers

Edify _Dreams Prophecies & Visions_

Faith Beyond Miracles  
In Spirit and Truth  
Prayers Prophecies Dreams
