[Narrator]
17 ways to dump your girlfriend.
[Narrator]
Help her move on.
[Michael]
I just think you should go out there and find someone better!
[Michael]
And when you do, please give them my phone number.
[Michael]
Thank you.
[Narrator]
Use a disguise.
[Totally Brad]
Hello! I am Brad.
[Totally Brad]
And you should break up with my brother-
[Totally Brad]
Who is Michael.
[Brad]
Oh my god, i do not sound like that!
[Michael]
Uh oh-
[Narrator]
Poke her.
[Narrator]
Poker.
[Michael]
Yeaaah, i kinda lost you in a poker game soo..
[Michael]
You belong to this guy now.
[Hazel]
Wha-
[Hazel]
WHA-!?
[Hazel]
Mich-
[Narrator]
Be dramatic.
[Micheal]
I can't see you anymore..
[Hazel]
Why not?
[Michael]
Because i have..
[Michael]
No eyes!
[Hazel]
AHH-
[Narrator]
Reference a 90s sitcom.
[Michael]
I think we should just be..
[Micheal]
Friends!
[Michael]
*Clap clap clap clap*
[Narrator]
The silent treatment.
[Michael]
Shh..
[Narrator]
The violent treatment.
[Michael]
Shh..
[Narrator]
Burst.
[Narrator]
Burst into song.
[Michael]
AND IIIIII-
[Narrator]
Fake your death.
[Michael]
Oooo!~ I'm a ghost!
[Michael]
Also, don't change your Netflix password~
[Narrator]
Fake her death.
[Michael]
I'm so sorry for your loss.
[Hazel]
What the fuck?
[Michael]
A ghost!
[Narrator]
Travel back in time and kill her mother before she's even born.
[Michael]
WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
[Hazel]
I'm adopted.
[Michael]
FUCK!
[Narrator]
Fake her death, again!
[Michael]
I really am sorry..
[Hazel]
How are you doing this?
[Michael]
Uhh..
[Narrator]
...And burst.
