
English: 
-What's happenin' guys?
You know, I was hoping to get off on a good start today,
unlike these guys who didn't get off to a good start.
[crowd groans]
That was great, did you see that?
That was like 8 fails for the price of one.
My fail quota is definitely met.
That means I don't have to put out another episode for like a week and a half.
All right guys, that's it.
See you in a week and a half.
[Stalkin' Your Mom plays]
No, I'm playing.
I gotta admit though,
that looked crazy painful.
[crash!]
And why didn't they start the race over?
They were like, "Ah, f--k these kids,
make them work for it."
Now this video was funny enough to get a half million views in four days.
It was featured on Attack of the Show and FailBlog.
And I'm pretty sure at like 8 seconds,
some guy yells the word "blow job" twice.
-Blow job!
Blow job!
-This is neither the time nor the place sir.
Or is it?

Spanish: 
¿Qué tal, chicos?
Saben, esperaba empezar bien el día.
no como estos chicos que no empezaron muy bien.
[¡Ahhhh!]
Fue fantástico, ¿lo vieron?
Es como ocho caídas por el precio de una.
Ya cumpli mi couta de caídas.
Eso significa que no tengo que subir otro episodio por una semana y media más.
Bueno, chicos. Eso es todo.
Nos vemos en una semana y media.
[Musica: Stalkin' Your Mom (acechando a tu mamá)]
No, estoy bromeando.
Pero tengo que admitir
que se vio bastante doloroso.
[Choque]
¿Por qué no empezaron la carrera de nuevo?
Dijeron: "Ay estos chicos de m----a.
háganlos trabajar".
Pero este video es tan divertido como para que lo vieran medio millon de veces en cuatro dias
Lo pusieron en "Attack of the Show" y "FailBlog".
Y estoy muy seguro que a los 8 segundos,
algun tipo grito "una chupada" dos veces.
¡Una chupada!
¡Una chupada!
Este no la ocasión ni el lugar, señor.
¿O lo es?

Portuguese: 
- Como vai isso pessoal?
Sabem, esperava de ter um bom começo de dia hoje,
ao contrário destes aqui que não conseguiram ter um bom começo.
Foi excelente, viram aquilo?
Foi tipo 8 fails, ao preço de um.
A minha quota de fails foi alcançada.
Isso significa que não preciso de pôr mais episódios durante uma semana e meia.
Ok pessoal, é isto.
Vemo-nos numa semana e meia.
Não, estou a brincar.
Mas tenho de admitir.
aquilo pareceu muito doloroso.
E porque não começaram de novo?
Eles foram tipo, "Ah, que se f*dam os putos,
deixei-nos esforçar."
Este vídeo foi engraçado que chegasse para ter meio milhão de visualizações em 5 dias.
Foi apresentado no Attack of the Show e no FailBlog.
E tenho quase a certeza que ao 8º segundo,
um gajo disse "mamada" duas vezes.
- Mamada!
- Mamada!
- Este não é nem o local nem o momento senhor.
Ou será?

Portuguese: 
E por acaso, eu juro-vos, o homem a controlar a barreira fez de propósito,
pela diversão.
Se conseguíssemos fazer com que isto acontecesse no NASCAR.
Agora, se cada criança fosse tão fofa como a menina do próximo vídeo,
eu não teria de mentir aos meus colegas de trabalho a todo o tempo.
"Oh sim, Bob, a tua filha é adorável."
Não mas,
esta menina de 10 meses é adorável.

English: 
And by the way, I swear to you, the guy controlling the gate did this on purpose,
for the lulz.
Now if only we could figure out a way to make this happen in NASCAR.
Man if every kid were as cute as this little girl in this next video,
then I wouldn't have to lie to my coworkers all the time.
"Oh yeah, Bob, your kid's adorable."
No but,
this ten-month little girl is adorable.
And what's even cuter than that is watching her try grapefruit.
-Penny on grapefruit juice.
[laughter]
-Yeah, you know.
I don't blame her.
Grapefruit straight tastes like Pole Sol mixed with booty sweat.
No but her reaction is rather priceless.
See where she makes that sour Renee Zellweger face,
has a little citrus seizure,
and then falls over like a drunk old man.
[boom!]

Spanish: 
Y a propósito, les juro que el tipo que accionaba la reja lo hizo a propósito.
para la risa.
Lo único que falta es averiguar la manera de hacer que esto pase en el NASCAR.
Hombre, si todos los niños fueran tan lindos como la niñita del próximo video,
no tendría que mentirle a mis colegas todo el tiempo.
"Claro que sí, Bob, tu hijo es adorable".
No, pero
esta niñita de diez meses es adorable.
Y lo que es más lindo aún, es verla probando jugo de pomelo.
Penny probando jugo de pomelo.
[risas]
Bueno, tu sabes.
No la culpo.
El jugo de pomelo tiene sabor a detergente mezclado con sudor.
No, pero su reacción es impagable.
Vean como pone cara de limón de Renee Zellweger,
le da un ataque de acidez,
y se cae como un borrachín.
[golpe]

English: 
In fact, I have that same reaction when I eat Arby's,
which also happens to taste like Pine Sol and booty sweat.
No but her cute reaction was adorable to land on Huffington Post
and Fox News and get 350,000 views in ten days.
And all I've got to say is,
"Slow down, little girl."
There'll be plenty of time later in life to consume substances to the point where you fall back
and pass out.
-[indisctinct] ...whatever.
-Yeah, it's called college.
You know, I don't think I've ever reviewed a video like this before.
It's like an old video from the '70s or '80s
and they're documenting some experiment they did with cats.
Now everyone knows cats always land on their feet.
-Cats, when dropped under normal conditions
will invariably rotate their bodies longitudinally in midair and land on their feet.
Yeah, right?
Nothing new.
But what this experiment does is it takes cats and it puts them in zero gravity.
-This automatic reflex action is almost completely lost under weightlessness.

Spanish: 
De hecho, me pasa lo mismo cuando como en Arby's,
que también tiene sabor a detergente mezclado con sudor.
No, pero su linda reacción era tan adorable que apareció en el Huffington Post
y en Fox News y lo vieron 350.000 veces en diez días.
Y todo lo que quiero decir es:
"Despacio, niñita".
Cuando sea grande tendrás tiempo de consumir sustancias hasta que te caigas
y te desmayes.
.....balbuceo...lo que sea.
Si, se llama universidad.
Saben, no creo que haya mostardo un video como este antes.
Es como un video viejo de los años 70 o los 80.
Están filmando un experimento que hicieron con gatos
Ahora, todo el mundo sabe que los gatos siempre caen sobre las patas.
Los gatos cuando se les tira bajo condiciones normales
invariablemente giran sus cuerpos en el aire y caen en sus patas.
Sí, ¿verdad?
No es nada nuevo.
Pero en este experimento toman los gatos y los ponen en gravedad cero.
Este reflejo automático casi se pierde totalmente cuando no hay gravedad.

Spanish: 
¿Qué diablos, hombre?
Bueno, es medio divertido...,
Pero, qué m----a de experimento científico es ese?
En serio, ¿qué conclusión trataban de sacar?
¿Que los gatos se c---n de miedo cuando le quitan la fuerza de gravedad?
[grita el gato]
En serio, esto no parece científico para nada.
Parece uno de esos experimentos de blancos ignorantes que se filman haciendo alguna estupidez.
"¿A qué se dedica en la NASA, señor?
¿Coordina la órbita de los satelites?
"Oh, no, no.
sólo j--o a los gatos todo el dia.
Ven, déjame mostrarte.
Tenme la cerveza".
Y, de verdad,
¿era necesario que el tipo le diera al gato
una patada?
[Gritos]
No es una pelota de trapo, merihuanero tonto.
Claro, este video parece un poco cruel para las normas actuales,
pero creo que es tan interesnte que lo vieron 150.000 veces en cinco dias.
Me imagino que habria que tener una máquina del tiempo si quieres ir a

English: 
-What the hell man?
I mean, that's sort of hilarious,
but what the f--k kind of scientific experiment was that?
Seriously, what conclusion were they hoping to draw?
That cats freak the f--k out when yoiu take away their gravity?
[cat screeches]
Really,. this doesn't seem scientifically valid at all.
This seems like one of those redneck experiments where they film themselves doing something stupid.
"So what is it you do at NASA sir?
You coordinate the orbit of satellites?"
"Oh no, no.
I f--k with cats all day.
Come on, let me show you.
Here, hold my beer."
And come on,
was it really necessary for the guy to give the cat a little
boot here.
[man yells, crash!]
This ain't hacky-sack, you freaking stoner.
So yeah, this video does seem a little cruel by today's standards,
but I guess it was interesting enough to get 150,000 views in five days.
I guess you half to get a time machine if you want to get out

Spanish: 
arrestar esos tipos por crueldad con los animales.
O quizás este no es un experimento científico para nada.
Quizas sea una "incepción",
y se olvidaron de que un sueño adentro de un sueño es una m----a muy inestable.
Pero saben que más es inestable?
Bañar a un gato.
Osea, en serio, ¿han tratado de hacer esa m----a?
Pero que conste,
preferiría mandarlos al espacio que tratar de bañarles el pellejo.
No, pero lo que también es inestable es el comentario/pregunta del día,
y lo hace una usuaria que se llama Bam.
ella dice...
Hola, Ray.
Mi comentario/pregunta del día es
♪¿Qué sabor tienes?♪
♪Dime, ¿Cuál es tu sabor, sabor?♪
Asi que ya la oyeron.
¿Qué sabor tienes?, dime, ¿cuál es tu sabor?
Asi que dime tu sabor
y deja tus respuestas interesantes o creativas en las secciones de abajo
o en Facebook o Twitter.
Pero gracias por ver el episodio de hoy de =3.
Soy Ray William Johnson aprobando este mensaje.
Asi que díganme,
¿qué harían para unirse al lado siniestro?
[Música: Stalkin' Your Mon]
(Acechando a tu mamá)

English: 
and bust those guys for animal cruelty.
Or you know, maybe this isn't a scientific experiment at all.
Maybe it's Inception,
and they forgot that a dream-within-a-dream is just too f--king unstable.
But you know what else is unstable?
Giving a cat a bath.
I mean, seriously have you ever tried that s--t?
For the record,
I would much rather send them into outer space than try to wash their ass.
No but what's also unstable is the comment question of the day,
which comes from a user named, bam!,
and she said...
-Hey Ray.
My comment question of the day is
What's your flava
Tell me what's your flava, flava
-So, you heard her.
What's yo flava, tell me what's yo flava
So tell me your flavor is
and leave your interesting or creative responses in the comments sections below
or on Facebook or Twitter.
But thanks for watching today's episode of =3.
I'm Ray William Johnson and I approve this message.
So tell me guys,
what would you do to join the dark side?
[Stalkin' Your Mom playing]
Captioned by SpongeSebastian

English: 
-Aahhh!

Spanish: 
Ayyyy!
