 
## Eva and the Irishman

A Novel by

Janne E. Toivonen

Copyright 2017 by Janne E. Toivonen

Published by Janne E. Toivonen at Smashwords

Cover Design by Vila Design

Smashwords Edition License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction and recommended for adults only. All characters depicted in graphic sexual content are adults 18 years or older. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events, or locales is purely coincidental.

### Acknowledgements

Thank you to my two editors, Kate Gleason and Z Egloff, for teaching me the finer art of fiction writing, encouraging me the whole way. A special thank you to Annette Toivonen, my sister, who gave me extraordinary, unflagging support through positive living, and who also acted as my "admin" doing all the hard work of converting this novel to ebook.

### Dedication

To all my ancestors known and unknown.

### Table of Contents

Part One: Origins

Part Two: Unexpected Changes

Part Three: Fight or Flight

Finnish Pronunciation Guide

About Janne E. Toivonen

Other Books by Janne E. Toivonen

Connect with Janne E. Toivonen

## Part One: Origins

Chapter 1

Belfast, Ireland

Liam did not want to go downstairs. That would mean spending time with his mother and father, who continuously boasted they were of the upper crust of the pro-British, Protestant society of Belfast. He viewed them to be both boorish and bigoted. Yes, his father was a vice-president at Harland and Wolff, but he, Liam, was not of that ilk. He had nothing against money. He just hated listening to his mother prattle on about her position and all her society friends. A short, plump, aging redhead who wore expensive gowns and suits when it wasn't necessary, she was continually planning her next moves as to how to keep herself in the midst of the highest society, as if it were her career. Liam despised her behavior.

"William! Come downstairs. It's your birthday dinner. Your cousins are here," his mother called from the bottom of the stairs.

Liam rolled his eyes and grimaced at the thought of his sniveling, vapid cousins. They were all alike, cretins every one of them. All he wanted to do was read his medical texts. His dream was to go to the Royal School for Surgeons in Edinburgh this coming fall. He had wasted enough time on aimlessness. He should've been in school long ago and finished by now. Without his parents knowing, he had taken all the entrance examinations and was ready to apply to the prestigious, long-standing medical school. He couldn't wait to move there. Though there was one person here he would truly miss, the cook Annie, a petite, auburn-haired widow about his mother's age. Annie, a poor Catholic, was the only one in the Dady mansion who had treated Liam with love and kindness. Ever since she'd come to work here when he was fifteen-years-old, she'd been more like a mother to him than his own mother. Annie's husband had died about two years before the death of her only child, a boy named Conor.

"Conor died of an infectious fever," she'd told Liam when she first started as their cook. "He would've been your age, Liam." Tears welled in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Annie," Liam had said and hugged her in the warm, homey kitchen.

As Annie wiped her tears with her crumpled kerchief, Liam got an idea. "Maybe I can be a son of sorts for ye," he said. He didn't want her to be lonely.

"What a truly lovely idea, Liam."

Over the next nine years, Liam felt nurtured by Annie as she fed him, consoled him, and cleaned his cuts and scrapes and iced his fight injuries. She would admonish him when he came home in the evening after school, knowing he had been in the Catholic neighborhoods with his secret friend, Patrick, prowling and fighting against his own Protestants.

"Jesus, Liam, yer father will skin ye alive if he found out ye've been in West Belfast." Annie took his chin and made him look at her. "What if some of yer own congregation discovered ye're on the Catholic side, coverin' yer face with a hood?" She took a deep breath. "It could kill ye, bein' over there, do ye understand?"

He could see her fear. Not anger, but fear. "Don't worry, Annie. Patrick and I know all the hidin' places. We're fast and the old fogies can't catch us, those Protestant bastards."

"Liam! Watch yer tongue."

"Sorry." He respected his surrogate mother and was contrite.

"Please love, don't go there anymore. At least stop the fightin'. I know the O'Brien's, and I know very well what Patrick and his gang do."

Liam sat at the kitchen table for his supper, thankful he was home with Annie caring for him. He gave her a faint smile. He picked up a piece of soda bread and covered it with butter.

Annie frowned. "I lose sleep over ye when ye're out late doin' those risky things. She put a bowl of fragrant, piping hot lamb stew in front of him and sighed.

"I'll always be careful for ye, Annie."

Now, from his room on his twenty-fourth birthday, Liam wished it were Annie calling him instead of his mother bellowing like a great cow. He thumped his anatomy book shut, got up from his desk, and girded himself for the evening of babbling. At least he would be eating the delicious raisin cake that Annie made for him for his birthday. He'd spend the time with his parents as long as he needed to, and then he would spend the rest of the evening helping Annie clean up. After, they would sit companionably in the kitchen having coffee and talking.

His aunt and uncle were there, along with his two younger cousins. Liam had never paid attention to his cousins, and he didn't plan to start now. He could see that his father and uncle were in the parlor, having a glass of top-shelf Irish whiskey. His Uncle Thomas worked for Harland and Wolff in the division that oversaw the building of the vessels.

"William, come in here for a glass," his father beckoned gruffly. "Have a birthday drink. Time you started getting to know people in the firm and behaving more like a man."

William Dady was not a man anyone said 'no' to. "Thank you, Father," Liam said. He kept check on what his face was conveying as he took the proffered glass of whiskey. Liam had put on his gray wool flannel suit with a freshly starched white shirt. The collar was horrendously stiff and he felt as though he were choking.

"It's good to see you dressed for dinner," Father said.

Liam knew this meant that his father would've sent him back upstairs if he had come down improperly dressed. Liam had to play things right, otherwise he would be out on the street, with no money, although he believed his mother would have no such thing done to him, if only to avoid a scandal. Still, he was getting tired of being in a powerless position.

The dinner bell rang before Father could say anything else. Liam put the half-empty crystal glass down on a polished, dust-free, mahogany side table, and then followed his father into the gaudy and meticulously-set dining room. Liam was embarrassed at the overly-done table. _Who's comin' to dinner, the fuckin' Queen?_ He looked at his babbling mother and her purple silk gown, her rouged cheeks and lips, and felt even deeper disgust at the whole scene. He was on a simmer, and it wasn't going to take much to reach a full boil.

Mrs. Dady rang the bell— _that fuckin' annoying bell_ —that summoned Annie and the housekeeper Katie, another Catholic. Annie stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining room.

"Yes, Mum?" she said.

"Annie, bring the soup out," Mother barked. Leaning to her sister-in-law, she prattled, "She's made this quaint nettle soup. All the poor people eat it but I find it charming."

Annie vanished into the kitchen and returned with a tureen of steaming-hot soup and a ladle.

"You can start serving, Annie," Mother said.

Liam rolled his eyes. "Say 'Please' Mother, when ye ask someone to do somethin'."

His mother ignored his request and kept on babbling to her blank-faced sister-in-law. "We are so lucky to have found a decent cook, as hard as it is to find help. We had to resort to hiring a Catholic, but she's easy enough to work with."

That was the breaking point for Liam. His hand slammed the dinner table, rattling the stemware and knocking over a silver candlestick. His mother seemed to jump a mile out of her chair.

"Damn it, Mother! Why do you have to be deliberately rude?" He stood up knocking his chair over backward. It clattered noisily to the floor.

"Watch the furniture, William!" his father bellowed. "Do you know how expensive that mahogany is?"

"You're concerned about the chair?" Liam's face felt hot. "Is that—? What are you people about, for God's sake?"

"Get out of my house, ingrate!" Father blurted.

Liam stormed out of the dining room through the kitchen. He could hear his mother crying, but he didn't care.

Annie and Katie joined him in the kitchen moments later.

"I'm sorry, Annie, Katie," Liam said as respectfully as possible. "I hope the rest of the dinner is better for ye." He put on his coat and cap.

"Ye can't let the shite bother ye," Annie said quietly. "I ignore it all the time. I'm just glad I'm workin'."

"I'll be back later, for sure." He ran back to Annie and kissed her on the forehead, holding her by her shoulders. "I'll stay safe for ye."

Liam flew out the back door. He ducked under the dining room windows to hide from those within, and ran from his home as fast as he could. He had no idea where he was heading. He only wanted to get away.

### Chapter 2

Finland, Duchy of Russia

"Eva, I heard rain this morning. Don't forget your shawl and scarf," Mamma quietly called from the bedroom. Eva was getting ready to leave for work at the Mattson farm. Her father and two sisters were still asleep. She didn't mind the hard work and long days because a certain someone lived at the farm. Or _two_ certain someones, now. All of a sudden it was two brothers instead of the one, one alluring and worldly, the other as vexing as he was handsome. Eva was beginning to feel a tug of war beginning with her as the prize. It was a baffling place to be yet exciting at the same time.

Eva Elisabet Maki had just had a birthday. It was a milestone. She was a woman now. Like her sisters, she was a tall, blue-eyed, strawberry-blond beauty.

"Don't worry Mamma, I'll take them with me," Eva said as she stood in the doorway of her parents' bedroom. "I have made coffee and cut some _nisu_ for you and Pappa." She spoke quietly so as not to disturb her father. "It's on a plate on the shelf above the stove." Eva had covered the _nisu_ , a sweet cardimon flavored coffee bread, with a clean but well-used linen towel before placing it above the wood stove they used for cooking and central heating.

"Thank you, Eva," Mamma said and smiled.

"Do you need help getting into the kitchen, Mamma?" Eva worried about Mamma who was beginning to lose her sight. Eva, as the eldest child, felt it was her duty to help out around the household and take over the larger farm duties working with Mrs. Mattson.

"No. I'm fine," Mamma said. "I've walked into the kitchen thousands of times. I can do it. You go to Mattson's. I will see you this evening." She began to make her way out of the bedroom.

Eva pushed a lock of her mother's graying strawberry blond hair back from her face and gave her a kiss. "I can come home early if you like."

Pappa spoke from bed, "I'm up, Eva. I will help." He began to cough a wretched cough. It broke Eva's heart every time she heard it. Pappa, a former sailor, had contracted tuberculosis years ago from the unsanitary conditions of ships and ports. The disease was slowly eating away at the once-strong, fair-haired, blue-eyed Finn.

Trusting that all would be well, Eva said, "I'm leaving now. I love you both." She threw her shawl around her shoulders and walked to the bedroom she shared with her two sisters to make sure they would be getting up soon.

"Wake up, Liisa. Wake up, Aili."

Eva smiled as she heard moans and groans muffled by quilts and feather pillows. She walked back out into the main room of their two-bedroom house. She left the house by the center front door with its covered entryway so the vicious winter winds wouldn't blow directly into the main room. She made her way across the rain-drenched grass of the front yard. It had stopped raining, but she put on her scarf, folded into a triangle and tied under her chin. The morning air was damp and cool.

Eva remembered when it had been Pappa instead of her who used to leave for work as the Mattson's farmhand but his advancing tuberculosis prevented him from doing so any longer. He was able to do small things around their own tenant's farm on the Mattson property, however, with the three girls helping.

Eva missed graduating with the Mattson boys, but felt fortunate to have at least finished all of grade school and some high school. She knew that this job would keep the family fed and clothed especially in the brutal winter months this far north in Europe.

As Eva walked down the narrow country lane she breathed in the wet forest fragrance, sharp and piney. Her thoughts went to the Mattson middle brother Eino. The same age, they'd grown up close friends. They had always been sweet on each other but lately he had been pursuing her in a more grown-up way, catching her alone and cajoling her into kissing him. Just the day before she had been collecting the eggs for Mamma Mattson. With a full basket, she turned to leave the coop. She startled when she discovered Eino standing in the doorway leaning on the jamb. His penetrating blue eyes and lusty look made her rouse.

He smiled. "Here you are again, Eva. All alone."

She couldn't help but smile. "You are always sneaking up on me." Then she tried to temper her giddiness. "Yes, I've kissed you before but I've told you I don't love you." She felt the untruth in the statement.

His eyes peered deep into hers. "That's not what your kisses say to me."

"You are like a brother to me, nothing more," she said. Yet she throbbed at his nearness, and she liked it. His pursuing her had made her feel special but then his older brother Victor had started to pay attention to her. Having two brothers pursue her, especially with Victor being nineteen, was very enticing to her.

Eino frowned. "I don't believe you," he said and walked right up close to her, making her take a half-step back. His lusty look came back.

She peered around him to the door, nervous yet drawn to him. She saw no one outside. No one could see them. He put his hand behind her back and pulled her close. She felt her knees buckle and she gasped for air, her desire an electric tingle where their bodies met. She could not take her eyes off his. He leaned into her and put his lips on hers. She found herself kissing him back.

When the kiss ended, he looked into her eyes. One corner of his mouth ticked up in a smile. "You like my kisses. I can tell."

"But I don't love you, Eino," she fibbed again.

His smile disappeared and his eyes lost the twinkle. Disappointment, then anger, shrouded his handsome face.

She tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let her go.

His eyes stayed on hers. "It's Victor, isn't it? I've seen you two together lately." His eyes blazed with jealousy.

"We're just friends," she said, though she knew that, too, was a lie.

"I don't know what you see in him. He's a Mamma's boy."

"Just because he doesn't give your mother a hard time the way you sometimes do, doesn't make him a Mamma's boy."

"Sure, it does. He's always been my parents' favorite. Perfect Victor. They have no idea—and now he thinks he can just push me aside and—"

"Stop! You are jealous of Victor's and my friendship." She put her forearms in between their bodies and pushed hard to loosen his grip on her.

He let her go, but said, "It's been you and me all along. I don't believe that you don't love me. I tell you, you are making a mis—"

"You don't get to choose. I do. Now let me by." It unnerved her that he read her so well but she refused to let him tell her whom she should choose. She took the egg basket and left promptly before he could see anything else in her face that belied her words.

Now, as she headed to the farm that morning remembering Eino's kiss and how it had made her swoon, she felt overwhelmed and confused. She could not easily forget their lifelong friendship even though she wanted to with her burgeoning attraction to Victor. She and Victor had been kissing, too, when no one was looking. _And now he says he wants to lay with me. I feel that way, too, but I am not ready for that._

Up ahead in the road she spotted a snowshoe rabbit and her little ones cautiously crossing the dirt road to feed on the bright green grass of a hay field. She stopped for a moment so she wouldn't frighten them away. They saw her. The mamma thumped her foot and they scampered into the forest once again. Eva kept going. She could hear the forest alive with birds, chirping madly. It was more than a month before _juhannus_. The daylight hours were increasing each day but the steel gray blanket of shower clouds made it a little darker that morning.

Neither the gray sky nor her irritation with Eino affected Eva's mood right then when she thought of who would be waiting for her up ahead. Victor had started to meet her every morning, something Eino never did. Rounding a curve in the road she saw him at the turn-off to the farm. She wanted to run to him but she held herself back. Victor was the eldest of the three Mattson sons; two years her senior. He was tall and brown-haired with brown eyes, unusual among all the blue-eyed, blond Finns. He had the lean body of a working farmer. They made eye contact. Both smiled sweetly.

"Good morning, Eva," Victor greeted her warmly.

"Good morning." Eva returned the warmth looking deep into his eyes as she walked up to him.

Victor intently scanned the farm road. He put his hands around her back in an embrace, kissing her briefly but warmly. Then he looked around again.

"What happens if someone sees you kiss me?" Eva asked. "Will you get whipped, or lose your dessert at supper?"

"I just don't want Eino to watch us. He's always watching us. He's begun to drink. Did you know that? You should be careful around him. I don't want him to turn on you. He's been horrid toward Mother."

Eva shook her head no. "I didn't know about the drinking. It's something new."

"Will you stay away from him?"

"I don't care about Eino," Eva said, trying to convince herself. "I told him that I considered him a brother to me. That, I believe, should have ended it." She reached up and put her arms around Victor's neck and kissed him passionately. She wanted to replace her attraction to Eino and let her feelings for this older boy dominate. Especially now with this news of Eino's drinking she told herself that she should put an end to her feelings for him. _Perhaps Victor is the wiser choice._ But her lingering feelings for Eino confused her and she couldn't stop thinking about him as she kissed Victor.

He pulled away from her kiss breathless, with a puzzled look. "Eva Maki, you surprise me every day. You can be so unpredictable."

"You didn't like that kiss?" she said playfully.

"Of course I did, my _Villi_ _Ruusu_." He called her his Wild Rose often. "Yesterday you told me I couldn't kiss you like that, or touch you, and especially—"

"Especially no lovemaking. Not yet." She changed the subject. "How else did I surprise you?" They started down the dirt road towards the farm, walking slowly.

"There was the time a week ago you butchered that cow all by yourself," Victor said. "How the hell did you tie and hang it when it was dead?"

Eva laughed. "I used the rope and pulleys in the barn. I will agree it was very heavy but I did it," she said with a tinge of pride.

"I wished you would have asked me to help." He grasped her hand as they walked into the farm proper.

"You had gone somewhere. No one knew where you were." She gave him a look of affection mixed with lighthearted brattiness, let go of his hand, and walked ahead of him.

"I'm having a hard time watching you, Eva. You're growing into such a beautiful woman."

She laughed. "Remember how I slapped you when you touched me when we were on the wagon a few days ago?" She surreptitiously pointed to her breasts.

"Yes and you laughed at my surprise." Victor grinned. "And then I laughed at you when you fell off the wagon laughing so hard."

"You got back at me, didn't you?"

Victor caught up with her in a couple long strides and grasped her hand again. Eva did not object.

As they reached a turning-off point to where they were each going for morning chores, Victor asked: "What are you and Mother doing this morning?"

As she headed for the kitchen door of the Mattson farmhouse, she turned back to look at him. "If the ground is not too wet your mother and I will continue, perhaps finish the root vegetable planting. It's our third day on it. The rest of the potato seeds need to go in, and the onion sets as well." She gave him a promising look. "Maybe we can finish by the end of the morning. Then after dinner, I can come work with you." She smiled, letting him know she was looking forward to that.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" he asked. "I'll be working on fence mending all day with Father and Hannes.

"Do you think I can't do the work? Then I won't come." Eva looked at him in mock indignance.

He smiled at her and said, "You're going to make a good farmer's wife. I'll see you at dinner." With a big grin on his face he turned away from the house and headed across the pasture to where she could see his father was waiting for him.

_Oh, my. Is he thinking of me as his wife?_ Eva's heart soared at the thought as she watched him head across the pasture.

She felt giddy as she headed to the house to find Mamma Mattson. As she reached for the door latch of the kitchen, the door suddenly flew open startling her. Her yelp frightened Hannes, Victor's "baby" brother, as he flew out the door.

"Eva, you scared me."

"Well, you scared me."

Hannes yelled some sort of apology and raced to the field to join Victor and his father. Eva laughed and thought that if Hannes were a chicken, feathers would be flying right now. Eva often noticed how Hannes closely resembled Victor, a lanky version with curly blond hair instead of brown. Eino was slightly different than the other two and had more of Mamma Mattson in him, giving him a "prettier" face. Eva headed into the kitchen, took off her shoes, tied her scarf at the back of her head, and hung up her shawl. She breathed in the warmth and fragrance. Victor's mother, the lady of the farm, had a breakfast waiting for Eva.

Maria Mattson was a small sturdy woman in her mid-forties with graying brown hair, rosy cheeks, and a big smile when she wasn't anxious about something, most often, Eva knew, about her second son Eino, who had always had bouts of irascibility growing up but never toward Eva. Mamma Mattson was Eva's favorite woman, second to her own mother. Eva and Mamma Mattson were good friends. They both were fond of Victor. It was a nice connection. Mamma Mattson had told Eva that she was like the daughter she never had and treated her as such, doing mother-daughter things such as making clothing, knitting, baking, and chatting about family life.

"Good morning, Mamma Mattson," Eva said.

"Good morning, Eva," she answered cheerily. "Come in. Have some pancakes while they are still warm."

She saw in Mamma Mattson's eyes that something troubling belied her perky disposition.

"Thank you. That one piece of _nisu_ I had before I came was not enough," she said and sat down while Mamma Mattson filled her plate for her.

"Have some milk with that, too, Eva." Mamma Mattson poured a glass for her.

Eva took a few bites, and then said, "Are you all right this morning? Is something the matter?"

Mamma Mattson sighed. "Eino was brought home by the Constable last night from Rauma. He was in a fight in the bad section of town, by the docks. He had been drinking."

Eva knew Eino, who had had bouts of irascibility all his childhood, had started to treat Mamma Mattson badly again, but his mother still deeply loved him. She seemed to think that Eino's difficulties were her fault even though Victor and Pappa Mattson constantly reminded her that Eino created trouble on his own.

"He's not up yet?"

"No. He's going to have to get up soon though. He's supposed to go over to the Niemi farm to help with roofing the barn."

"I've never understood what made him act like that," Eva said in empathy. "Can Pappa Mattson do something?"

"Other than wanting to kill him, nothing seems to work. Eino has it in his head all of a sudden that we all hate him. I think there is something very wrong ..." Mamma Mattson's voice trailed off.

_At least she has two good sons_ , Eva thought wanting to protect her. Then it occurred to her that she had told Eino yesterday she didn't love him. _What if I pushed him into this? Please don't let it be me._ She had a moment of guilt surge through her mind.

Finished with her pancakes she stood up and took her empty plate and glass to the sink and washed them. "Thank you so much for the wonderful breakfast."

Mamma Mattson smiled and seemed to visibly shake off her worry. "Shall we get to that garden and finish planting this morning?"

"Let's go, I'm ready," Eva said. "If you had nothing else for me to do after dinner, I'd like to help Victor and Pappa Mattson with the fencing."

They headed outdoors with their shawls on.

"Eva, you are the only girl I have known who wanted to do men's work when she didn't have to," Mamma Mattson said with a smile. "Your father treated you and your sisters like sons. It probably has worked out for the better, now that your poor parents are ill. How are Sinnikka and Olli this morning?"

"They're as well as can be expected. Both were in good spirits this morning." She had a tendency to put a rosy sheen on things when it came to her parents but she knew Mamma Mattson read through it.

The rain held off and the skies began to clear as she and Mamma Mattson worked companionably planting the rest of the potato seeds and dozens of onion sets along with carrot and rutabaga seeds. It seemed to be warming up a bit.

Just before it was time to break to get ready for dinner, Mamma Mattson said: "I think we are done." She straightened up stiffly and wiped her brow with the back of her soil-encrusted hand.

Eva stood too, and surveyed the large garden of mostly root vegetables that the two of them had planted over the last days.

"We'll have full larders this winter," Mamma Mattson said. "Even if there is another frost or two, all these seedlings are under the soil for a while and won't be harmed. Our hard work these last few days will pay off."

"I'm glad you're satisfied." Eva wiped the black, moist loam from her hands. "Liisa and Aili are doing the same at our place right now. I'm glad the weather turned out all right for us to finish."

"What do you think? Shall we go in, wash up, and prepare dinner?" Mamma Mattson asked. "It's close to that time."

She brushed herself off as she and Eva walked toward the house. They were just about to open the kitchen door to go in when it flew open. Eino came stumbling out nearly knocking his mother over. Eva grabbed her arm before she toppled.

The otherwise handsome blond was horribly disheveled, hung over, and sported several facial bruises. He grunted a half apology with a hoarse, "I'm late." Both women moved out of the way. Eino, his eyes icy blue and bloodshot, gave Eva a prolonged glare, which unnerved her. It also aroused her as his gaze always did, but she kept this hidden. The bruises on his face and abraded knuckles stirred her. It always stirred her to see boys fight. She knew very well her sudden refusal of him the day before was the reason for the black look. Guilt surged through her again. She nearly ran after him to try to apologize, but she thought twice and let him go.

Eva, with Mamma Mattson, watched Eino stagger down the road and out of sight. Both tried to regain their composure as they went into the house. Once inside, they removed their muddy boots and coats at the door. Eva's belly was churning from the encounter.

"Are you all right, Mamma Mattson?" She herself had barely handled the wrath of Eino just then but poor Mamma Mattson had a tendency to fall apart.

"Don't worry about me. It wasn't me he was glaring at. It was you."

"I can handle his glares," Eva said. "Victor said he's been so vicious toward you. It bothers me terribly, and I worry for you."

"Thank you, my dear," Mamma Mattson said. "Let's not talk about Eino anymore."

As Eva washed her soiled hands and arms at the kitchen sink, she looked out the window across the field to see if she could spot Victor. It relieved her mind of Eino. _It looks as though it's going to be Victor for me._ She could see the three of them—Pappa Mattson, Victor, and Hannes at the fences. She loved the Mattson farm with its wide-open fields surrounded by the forest. Victor would be the fourth generation to run it. Victor's great-grandfather and grandfather had begun to clear and farm the land, grew grains, cut timber, and sold goods to the merchant sailors and residents in Rauma, supplying them with food and fuel. They also had goods sent to Petersburg and nearby cities in the Baltic region as the farm expanded.

As Eva and Mamma Mattson prepared dinner they chatted about their favorite subject, Victor. "You know, Eva, my Victor seems very fond of you quite suddenly. I'm hoping there comes a day when we welcome you into the Mattson family. He told me he's beginning to look for a good wife, someone who knows farm life, and can handle the rigors of it. He loves this farm." Mamma Mattson seemed to be enjoying planning ahead with happier things, instead of the dark subject of her middle son.

Eva smiled. "Don't you think we should include Victor in the decision making?" She chuckled along with Mamma Mattson. "I've felt very much a part of the Mattsons anyway, for as long as I can remember."

"I include your mother and father in the plan as well," Mamma Mattson said.

"Yes," Eva said. "They feel the same way about Victor as you do about me. Victor is the son my father never had." _There must be something to my feelings about Victor. Even Mamma Mattson sees it,_ she thought, feeling that soaring in her heart again.

The two women worked together preparing cold sliced ham, pickled beets, homemade bread and butter, and left-over smoked salmon and beet salad. Eva ran out to the springhouse to fetch a pitcher of buttermilk all the while gazing across the field at Victor. She headed to the back door to ring the giant bell, signaling to the men that dinner was ready but the men were already walking across the pasture towards the house.

She waited. As the men neared, Eva yelled, "You must be terribly hungry not to wait to hear the bell."

"I just couldn't wait any longer to be near you," Victor quipped.

Eva felt her cheeks heat up with a blush.

Hannes feigned repugnance by groaning and rolling his eyes, while Pappa Mattson laughed which only served to make Victor more animated. He started to reach for Eva to give her a hug. She, playing along, ran from him trying not to spill the jug of buttermilk. Chuckling, Hannes and Pappa Mattson turned to go into the entryway while Victor and Eva remained outdoors. They walked up to each other and stood intimately close. Eva smiled up at him gazing into his eyes. She liked the feelings of arousal she was beginning to let come to her whenever he was near.

"Did you get the garden finished?" Victor asked.

"Yes, which means I can come with you after dinner," Eva said. "Your mother has no work for me. Well, that's what she said for this afternoon. Tomorrow may be different."

"Good," Victor responded. "Let's go eat. I'm starving." He took Eva's hand in his and smiled at her, taking her full pitcher in the other.

"You're a good person, you know," Eva said suddenly.

"Why do you say that?"

"I tease you so and you only laugh. You never get angry."

"Hmmm."

She smiled at him.

"I tease you, too, and you don't get angry either. Is that a good sign?"

"For what?" Eva asked, feigning ignorance.

"Oh, I don't know, for someday."

She smiled at the "someday." She hoped she didn't show the thrill he gave her. He would tease her albeit with a light heart.

Before they opened the inner door to the kitchen from the entryway, they kissed each other, just a buss on the lips that made Eva's heart skip feeling the attraction to Victor's maleness. She was beginning to like that feeling very much. She thought Victor saw something different in her just then because of his prolonged study of her after the kiss, then a smile as though he knew what she was thinking. They walked in to pleasant family chatter.

Pappa Mattson, the original mold for his eldest and youngest sons, asked Eva everyday about her parents even though he visited them often to check on their well-being. He and her father had been best friends ever since her father came to work at the farm. Pappa Mattson was heartsick over the incurable tuberculosis and also over her mother's failing eyesight.

"You let me know if you need anything, Eva," Pappa Mattson told her again.

"Thank you. I will."

"Jacob is willing to do anything for your parents, Eva," Mamma Mattson reminded her.

"I'm here, too," Victor put in.

"Thank you all." She liked that Victor wanted to be of service.

~~~

With dinner over and cleanup finished, Eva, Victor, Pappa Mattson, and Hannes started to walk back to the fences. As they did so, a little boy came running up to Pappa Mattson. It was little Emil Niemi, who was out of breath.

"Mr. Mattson," Emil said between gasps. "Eino has fallen off the ladder at our farm. He sent me to have you come to get him. He can't walk."

"Damn him to Satan," Pappa Mattson muttered. "Hannes, will you hitch up the horse and buckboard? You and I will have to go get Eino. We'll finish the fencing tomorrow." Pappa Mattson was irate. "Just one more incident to ruin a day of work ... I don't know why Eino doesn't just go if he's so unhappy here. I'm going to give him that ultimatum as we're coming home, damn it all!"

Once again Eva felt the guilt that her refusal of Eino yesterday precipitated not only Eino's anger but now everyone's bad feelings.

"Father," said Victor, "Eva and I can finish the fencing. We'll have it done by the time you get back."

"Good, Victor. Thanks. I can always count on you."

Eva and Victor stood by while Pappa Mattson and Hannes prepared to fetch Eino. Little Emil got on the back of the wagon. Mamma Mattson came outside.

"We have to go get Eino," Pappa Mattson said to her. "It seems he has injured himself."

Then they pulled away.

As Victor and Eva headed out to the fence, Victor scowled. "I wonder what Eino has done now, that he can't make it home on his own?"

"I'm not sure," Eva said, "but when he left this morning he gave me a horrible look. I know it's because I told him I didn't love him and he's not happy that you and I are getting to be friends."

"This is not your fault, Eva. Eino is his own worst enemy. Let's not talk about him anymore."

"That's fine with me," she agreed wholeheartedly. Inside she felt a pang of guilt, but Victor's reassurance eased her mind. She noticed Victor did not like his brother by the way he talked of him.

They held hands as they walked the rest of the way to the fence. The physical contact with Victor comforted her.

"The sun is trying to come out," she said as she looked at the sky.

Once they arrived at the fence-mending area, Victor looked around the work site. "Earlier, we were about to cut a post in the woods before we stopped for dinner."

"All right, let's go," she said. She grabbed the saw from the tool pile brought out earlier.

She followed him a short way into the wood and found a decent birch. He seemed pleased when he didn't have to instruct her in using the two-man bow saw.

"Your father taught you well," he said. "First butchering an eight-hundred-pound cow, and now I can see you'd make a fine lumberjack." He gave her an impish smile.

"Perhaps I should've been born a boy," she joked.

"No. I wouldn't like that. It would be no fun kissing you. Speaking of kissing you, I really want to but we wouldn't get the fence done."

She smiled at him. Her attraction to him was particularly strong at that moment, more so than ever before. She surreptitiously watched his body move as they worked together. It made her belly flutter wondering what was under his sweater or behind the buttons of his trousers. His shoulders were muscular, stomach taut, yet he was still lean like a boy, but most assuredly growing into a man at nineteen, in her eyes.

"Help me pick it up," she said. She nodded at the now trimmed-off tree trunk that was to be used for a post. Together they carried it back the short distance to the post hole. They worked companionably, inserting the post, back-filling the hole with dirt, and attaching the barbed wire fencing to the pole.

"It looks good," he said. "I'm going to check this next pole for rot." He inspected it closely. "Well, we have to change this one as well."

"While you dig that old one out, I'll cut a new post."

"Go right ahead, Lumberjack."

Finding and cutting a suitable post, she returned quickly.

"That was fast. You're a much better helper than Hannes." After a few minutes he said, "I was thinking. When we are done here, let's take a walk to the lake before milking time. I haven't been out there yet this spring. Would you like that?"

"Of course, I would."

"Does that mean we can—you know?" His face shone with hopefulness.

"No, but nice try," she said dryly. She knew her outward resistance was covering her attraction. She noticed Victor studying her again.

"The camp lean-to would be so nice..." he said dreamily.

"Be quiet, goof. Let's finish." She crinkled her short turned-up nose at him as she put the new post into the existing hole.

~~~

"We're finished. Let's go," Victor announced. "Hannes can come fetch the tree remnants for kindling."

Eva and Victor took the tools back to the tool shed and stole away toward the well-worn path through the woods. They walked the five-minute walk to the lakeshore hand in hand, enjoying each other, pointing to birds and talking of the blossoming greenery and pungent spring fragrances always welcomed after the long winters.

The wooded path soon opened up to a meadow and a lake. The late-day sun had broken through the clouds,\ and it sparkled on the tiny waves like shiny fish scales. The Mattsons had built a little dock, a small boathouse, and a lean-to with bunks built in. Many a spring and summer evening were spent here with family and friends visiting and fishing. She remembered fondly. Part of the evening ritual was spent preserving the fish either by smoking and storing in clay pots or using lye which turned the fish into something the Swedes called lutefisk. Then they'd build a bonfire, lay out a picnic, and consume vodka and other homemade alcoholic beverages. These gatherings could go on deep into the day-bright northern summer nights.

Now, Eva and Victor took a seat on one of the waterside benches.

"We used to try to stay up all night when we were little, but I could never make it," Victor said. "Only until maybe one or two o'clock."

"One of our mothers would tuck us in a bunk inside the lean-to in all those quilts. We would snuggle and quickly fall asleep," Eva added.

"You used to sleep with me. What happened?" he said in mock scolding.

She gave him a fake scowl. "All of us children would be tucked in together," she corrected.

"I remember how one or all of the babies would be quite smelly when we woke up. Thank God I didn't have to change any of them."

She laughed. "We'd get up before any of the adults and run off before anyone could make us. We were so clever."

Victor reminisced about the singing and toasting. He reminded her that they'd toast just about anything. "I'm surprised any preserved fish got into the larder." Eva reminded him it was the women who did all the work preserving.

They sat in silence for a while, looking out over the deep blue lake that was beginning to calm as the slight breeze disappeared. Eva felt her hair falling out of her bun and started to reach for it to fix it. He took the rest of the pins out and let it fall. His touch was comforting to her, making her scalp tingle. Her eyes closed for a moment. She leaned into him more.

"I love your hair. It's one of your many beauties, Eva. It's funny how it curls just at the ends."

"Thank you, Victor," she said, her face hot about the hair comment. His closeness was making her throb down below. "What are you looking at over there?"

"Oh, I don't know. I was just thinking it would be a beautiful place to live. Right here, on the lake." He paused and took hold of a thick strand of her wavy hair, stroking the silky red-tinged lock between his thumb and forefinger. "If I built a cabin, over there, near that stand of birches, do you think you would like it there—I mean—if we got married?" Victor's face turned crimson.

He had never said anything like that to her. She could scarcely breathe or make eye contact with him. He reached over to grasp her hand. She took it.

"What are you saying?" she said in a quiet voice, hiding her face behind her loose flowing hair.

"Will you marry me, Eva? I've grown to love you over the last year or so. I know you feel the same."

"Yes, Victor. I'll marry you." She turned to look straight into his eyes. "I ... love you." When she said that to him she feared what Eino would think ... and do. But Victor's sudden proposal and his closeness pushed Eino into the recesses of her mind. All she could think about was Victor coming close with those soft brown eyes and tender lips for a kiss.

He pushed hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes. He kissed her softly at first then enveloped her in his arms and passionately pressed his mouth against hers. When they could breathe no more, they both emerged from the kiss.

"Come into the lean-to. Please, Eva, please," he whispered into her ear.

She was so afraid but she wanted to please him. She's always wanted to please him. Her resistance faded as her body burned with new desire.

"I know you want me," he said. "I've felt it for a while now."

She gasped. "Yes, Victor I want you but I can't ... I can't lose my virginity before marriage. Mamma told me to be a good girl."

"I'll show you what we can do so you won't lose your virginity," he said softly.

He stood, looked at her, and held his hand out. With several moments of hesitation she grasped his hand and he pulled her to her feet. They ran to the bed in the lean-to. They struggled with clothes, but he managed to push her skirt up and out of the way. He pulled her bloomers down quickly. She gave a little yelp.

"You're all right," he said reassuringly. He laid her on a bunk. "Oh, God, Eva, you're so beautiful," he whispered looking at her with her skirts up to her waist. "Your body, your legs, your ...it's red hair."

He kissed her as he gently put his hand on her sex. She backed away a bit and closed her knees with a snap. "I'm afraid of you touching me there."

"I want to show you something but you'll have to let me. I won't hurt you."

"All right," she breathed. Her eyes were glued to his.

She felt him pull her knees apart and put his hand back on her. His finger moved further in as if searching for something. "There is where I want to go someday, when you're ready. It goes deep inside you. Right now you feel very slippery. That's a good sign."

Eva couldn't say anything. She only knew that when he touched her and pushed his finger in it felt so good.

"Can I teach you to use your hand on me? I want it so bad. Please let me teach you."

"Yes," she said, nearly breathless. "I'm shaking."

He paused. "Tell me if you want to stop. I won't force you."

"I want to please you. Show me."

She propped herself on her elbows as she lay on her back and watched as he unbuttoned his trousers. What sprang forth made her gasp. Her reaction made him laugh sweetly.

"I'm going to lie down next to you." When he seemed comfortable, he said, "I'm going to put your hand on my penis then you squeeze and I'll move."

"I put it right here?" He nodded. She watched him as he moved his hips up and down.

"Make sure you are squeezing firmly, but not too hard."

She adjusted her grip. "Is that too hard?"

He moved his hips in a smooth rhythm. "Oh, no. It's ... it's... uhhh ... uhhh ..."

He seemed to be gasping for air and moaning.

"Does it hurt?"

"God, no ..."

Suddenly Victor smiled and began to gasp deeply for air. She felt his penis throb under her hand, and then he moaned loudly, and his hips began to move erratically and more violently. A white milky fluid pulsed out. Then he lay silently with his eyes closed, as if he couldn't move or speak. Eva let go, sensing she didn't have to hold it anymore.

After several moments Victor opened his eyes, looked at her and smiled.

"Are you pleased?" she asked.

"Very much. Thank you, Eva." He pushed himself up with an elbow and kissed her.

"Are you all right, Victor? What happened?"

"I'm wonderful. I ejaculated." He looked down at his softening penis.

Eva did too. The milky stuff was all over his penis and some on her hand. She was too stunned to ask him anything. She wiped her hand on the quilt, stood, found her bloomers, and put them back on.

"You don't want me to? With my fingers?"

"I'm—"

"I know. Not ready. That's all right. I can wait for you."

"I'm sorry ..." she whispered.

"Don't be. I'll get a towel," he said and got up. Then, after he cleaned himself and buttoned his trousers, he took the towel to rinse it out in the lake. He returned with the wet cloth for her hand.

He wiped her hand for her.

She looked at him. "Is this how it starts?"

"It is. But you are still a virgin. Someday you will let me do that to you with my hand and you will still be a virgin."

"It's getting late. I should be going home," she said to him.

He embraced her. "Will you still marry me one day? Are we still promised? Because it's what I want most of all."

She smiled, and tiptoed to kiss him. "Yes, I will still marry you, Victor. Will you walk me home?"

"Of course."

As Eva and Victor took the lake path to her house holding hands and walking with their shoulders touching, Eva felt as though she was leaving her childhood ... and Eino ...behind.

### Chapter 3

Liam walked aimlessly through the brisk, windy streets of East Belfast. After an unknown amount of time he realized he was in the shipyard district, standing in the doorway of a pub. He was drawn in. He entered the smoky, dirty establishment. It was noisy with men in drunken shouting matches. Women were squealing and laughing— _fake laughing_. Far back in his mind he was puzzled as to why he heard women. They didn't frequent pubs. He heard a fiddle and someone singing.

Liam pressed through the smelly inebriated crowd to the bar and ordered a pint. The first sips tasted strong and bit his tongue but he became inured after a few more. He wasn't much of a drinker and with his growling empty belly the alcohol took hold right away. The ale made his tension go away and he liked it. He stood by himself for a while. It took no time to finish the ale.

After ordering a second Liam leaned back on the long mahogany bar and began to look at his surroundings. He was affected enough by the ale to come out of his usual need to avoid people. As he scanned from one corner to another, he spotted a table of ladies at the far end, near a closed-in set of stairs. He was confused, but only for a moment. "Proper" ladies did not frequent pubs. Nor did they dress in lacy undergarments.

The smallest, skinniest, most frail-looking girl caught his eye. She was beckoning Liam wiggling her index finger and giving him an alluring smile. She stood up, putting one foot on the chair. She spread out her knee to show Liam her "wares."

He was curious about her. Not so much for her flirting and revealing her private parts but for the fact that she seemed too young to be wearing so much rouge and red-and-black French lingerie. He put his second empty glass on the bar and began to make his way to her. He stumbled only once making the girl cover a giggle with her hand.

He was definitely drunk and she knew it. "I saw ye from over there," he said.

She smiled and flirted shamelessly. "I know ye did," she said. The girl pulled up another chair and patted it, inviting him to sit.

He plopped down. It startled him when he landed hard. This made the girl giggle once more.

"I think ye need another pint," she hollered leaning towards him to be heard over a sudden burst of yelling from a patron nearby. She waved her hand to the barmaid.

While they waited for the drinks the girl chatted in an overly amiable way with him.

"Ye're quite handsome. What's yer name?" She was awfully close, tracing his cheek and chin with her finger.

He could smell her stale perfume and liquor on her breath. It was warm on his cheek as she talked near his ear. "William. Liam Dady."

"Ye don't need to be tellin' me yer last name, sweetie. First names'll do."

He was leaning on the table with both forearms. The girl had latched onto him and didn't seem about to let go. She sat with her thigh plastered along the length of his. She blatantly and boldly put a hand on his inner thigh and began to massage up and down, skimming his genitals ever so nonchalantly. He barely got out another word being extraordinarily distracted by her hand, flinching slightly as she touched his balls.

"What—what's yer name?" he asked.

"I'm Dolly. You can come and play with me upstairs if ye have the money."

The drinks arrived and he reached into his pocket to pay.

"Oh, no sweetie, this drink's on the house if ye're interested in comin' upstairs for a romp. Do ye have the money?"

"I have money." He wasn't sure he wanted to go upstairs with her.

"Fine and dandy, then," Dolly chirped. "Let's go. Follow me, Liam."

She grabbed his hand and his pint, leading him up a dark, urine-smelling stairway to the second floor. Down the short passage in the back, she opened a door. She led him in and shut it then turned to tell him her terms. "It'll cost ye a schillin', and I don't kiss."

"I'm not sure—I haven't ever—done this." Liam was embarrassed.

"Oh!" Dolly exclaimed sweetly. "Ye've never had a girl before?"

He shook his head. He felt embarrassed.

"So, I just might have to forego my no-kissin' rule, and give ye the works."

"I'm not quite sure why I came up here with ye." Liam was nervous in spite of the drunk feeling. He scratched his head and thought about just paying her and leaving.

Dolly stepped closer to him with her rouge-covered cheeks and warm breath. She put her hands on his cheeks, stood on tip-toe, and gave him the softest, warmest kiss he had ever experienced. He opened his eyes to see a pretty young girl with wheat colored hair and soft green eyes. She was not made for what she was doing for a living.

In the back of his mind he felt himself fall in love with her. He scooped her up in an embrace and gave her a deep, passionate kiss.

Dolly appeared to be taken completely by surprise. "That was the best kiss I ever had."

When he put her down she laid him across the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his belly. She pulled her half-unbuttoned lace chemise off her shoulders, exposing her breasts. They were quite plump for a skinny waif. She took his hands and placed them on her bare breasts, teaching him how to fondle them gently. He took a few moments to trace them softly with his trembling fingers. As he touched the soft skin of her areola, he watched her nipples harden underneath his fingertip. Her eyes were half closed. It seemed she was completely engrossed in his touching.

"Does that feel good to ye?" he asked as though he was in an experiment.

"Oh, aye," she breathed, closing her eyes fully in pleasure. She pushed her sex into his growing hardness.

"Does that feel good?" She gently gyrated her hips.

"Oh, aye." Liam let out an uneven breath. As she reached down to unbutton his good suit trousers he sucked in a deep breath.

With his hardness completely exposed, Dolly said evocatively, "Let's see what this will feel like. Are ye ready, Liam?"

He gave no answer, but looked deeply into her moss-green eyes.

She put him inside her.

As she settled into a gentle rhythm he was aware that he had never felt such sensations. She bent down and kissed him long and soft. For several minutes she kept her rhythm.

"Oh, Jesus ... I ... it ... ohhh." He was immersed in pleasure he had never experienced other than by his own hand. There was no comparison.

She whispered to him, "Ye make me feel good, Liam."

He fell over the edge and groaned with his release. He involuntarily pumped his hips, his hands holding hers, until the pulsing faded and he lay in limp bliss. He watched in amazement as she took his hand and had him take her to her finish. Then she gave him another one of those amazing kisses.

"I don't climax most times," she said rolling off and lying next to him. Her breasts were still exposed. "But I wanted to have somethin' special—with ye, like it was yer birthday, or somethin'."

"It is my birthday."

She looked at him in what seemed non-belief and then smiled. They said nothing further for a few moments until Liam broke the trance. He rolled to his side facing her.

"Can we do it again?" he asked softly. He traced her breasts again with a more confident finger.

~~~

When Liam came in through the kitchen door in the wee hours Annie flew out of her bedroom off the kitchen wrapping her robe around herself.

"I didn't think ye'd be up this late," Liam said to her. "I'm glad ye are."

"I told ye, I don't sleep when ye're out nights."

"I'm famished and I've had too many pints."

"Let me fix ye a plate. Go sit and I'll have somethin' in no time." Annie spoke with a bit of irritation but a whole lot of love. "I'm just glad ye're home."

"Annie, I can't tell ye where I've been tonight, but I feel happy. I never felt this happy." He wanted to tell her everything but he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Annie he was at a brothel and lost his virginity to a prostitute.

"I can smell ye a mile away. I know where ye've been. Ye smell like a pub, stale perfume, and sex." Annie fixed him a cold plate of roast beef, carrots, and potatoes. "I can't tell ye too much anymore. Ye're a grown man now. I'm not even your real mother for God's sake. Please be careful."

She put the plate down in front of him. Liam ate with enthusiasm. She poured him a glass of buttermilk, and cut him a piece of his birthday cake.

"Fer Heaven's sake, Liam. Ye've always taken eatin' seriously, for sure." She smiled at his already-empty plate.

He took a giant bite of raisin cake with confectioner's sugar dusted on top. He could see Annie was much less anxious than when he first came in.

"Umm. That's good." Liam's mouth was stuffed and the words were muffled. He puffed out some cake crumbs in the process. "Sorry," he said. More crumbs flew out.

"Stop, for God's sake." Annie giggled at his silliness. He pushed the plate towards her to share. She pointed to her own plate and they sat cozily at the kitchen table in the bewitching hours of the morning.

~~~

After Dolly sponge-bathed all her customers away and got ready to sleep, she could only think of Liam Dady. None of her paying customers had ever been as gentle and sweet to her as he had been. _My heart. God, I've never felt like it was goin' to burst so. What in Heaven's name do I do with it? Please, oh please let me find him again._ Just as her head settled on the pillow the door burst open.

"Where's my money, cunt?" Shaughnessy, the brothel owner, charged into her room. He was a dirty, greasy man with rotting teeth. "Ye had a lot," he said, taking the shillings from her dresser and weighing them in his hands. "Now, if ye could do this well every night ..." he grumbled. He put down a small plate of stale bread and butter on the dresser for her meal.

Dolly didn't mention that four of the five schillings were from just one man.

After Shaughnessy left with her earnings, Dolly's belly ached with a sickening fear of the man. She hated how his anger sometimes would scare her so much it would make her pee her undergarments. For so many years now she had lived under this brutal fear, and some early mornings she was so melancholy she wouldn't have minded if the beast slit her throat to put her out of her misery. But the young man Liam with all the schillings; surely he lifted her heart to new heights. _Liam ..._ She went for the bread and ate it. Shaughnessy's generosity was rare.

### Chapter 4

Eva lay awake in a heightened state of nerves and emotions that night feeling her monthly coming on and re-living her first intimate encounter. She decided she liked the whole thing, touching Victor's penis when it was hard and he seemed to really like that. She ran through the gambit of feelings from thrills and arousal to dread at coming closer to losing her virginity yet overjoyed that she did come closer. Her parents never made an issue out of her and Eino, and now Victor being together and alone all the time yet her mother would remind her now and again to be a good girl. Neither did his parents mind. _They can see what Victor and I see now that we will marry someday._ She remembered how big his—thing—was. She couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach. _He was so_ —she couldn't think of any words that would describe how he was with her holding his penis ... _and how he moved his hips_. That made her gasp and her belly fluttered. _What happened to him when he made the groaning sound and his face looked like it hurt but he said it didn't? What made that wet stuff like thick milk pour out?_ She timidly put her hand down there as she re-lived her physical sensations. She liked the sensations her body had, feelings that had been growing stronger for months, but she had so many questions to ask Victor. She finally fell asleep holding her hand on her body where she decided she wanted Victor to touch after all.

~~~

In bed that night, Victor was in a state of sexual bliss. He was wide-awake and full of plans. _I'll teach Eva everything,_ he thought. _It will take time but she will come around. I have her half way there. I just have to be patient._ As he lay in bed he was aware of his erection, his fourth that afternoon and evening. He remembered his climax, spilling himself in front of the girl he now wanted. _Finally! For weeks she wouldn't let me touch her even though she didn't go all the way_. _It was the proposal that's pushed her closer to the edge_.

Many times, in the recent past as he tried to get Eva to acquiesce and wasn't getting anywhere he thought about forgetting her and turning back to Olga. Victor had been having sex with Olga since they were seventeen. When he first started with Olga, Eva was fifteen and more of a pest, like a sister. But now as Eva had blossomed, he had become deeply attracted to her, to her long legs hugged by her skirts, her plump breasts, and her hair. Not only was she beautiful she was strong and confident and she could stand up to his teasing and give it right back to him. He was tiring of the three-hour ride to be with Olga even though she was the prettiest girl in town and the envy of every single male because he had her undivided attention. She also wanted him to leave the farm and live in the city to work for her father in the shipping business. He had no intention of doing any such thing. He loved the farm and that's what he wanted to do. Eva was a ready-made wife and he felt he could fully love her—in time. _She's realizing Eino is not good for her, too. It'll be a cinch to take her from him._ He put his hand on his erection and with great pleasure, relieved himself of it. Soon he was sound asleep. His last thoughts, though, were of Eva, skirts up and lying underneath him, her legs wide open imagining how it would be when she would go all the way. It was a delightful feeling of guilty pleasure.

~~~

The next day brought more soft spring rain. There was not much anyone could do outside. In the morning Eva had helped Mamma Mattson scrub the pantry and kitchen. Then after dinner, Eva and Victor found themselves in the barn mucking out the cow stalls and cleaning. She had found upon her arrival that morning, that after morning milking, Hannes and Pappa Mattson had taken Eino to Rauma to see the doctor about his injured foot. Mamma Mattson said she would do the various simple household tasks on her own, now that the kitchen was done and she thought Victor could use the extra help from Eva since Hannes was not there.

As Eva dumped a shovel-full of manure into the wheelbarrow she said, "I want to ask you things ... about yesterday."

"What do you need to know?"

They leaned their implements on the wall and sat on a nearby bench.

"How did you know where you wanted to go when I do lose my virginity?" Eva asked.

"My school friends had a book, and they told me. They said that—"

"What makes them such experts?" she interrupted.

"I wouldn't call them experts," Victor was trying to explain. "I think that they—"

"Why was your—it so big?" She couldn't bring herself to say penis out loud. Instead of waiting for Victor to reply, she blurted out: "And what was all that wet stuff?"

"Are you going to let me answer?" he snapped. He put his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. He gave her a side look, peeking out from his fingers.

"Fine. Answer," she said, slowing herself down. She felt a bit cross, her monthly having arrived in the night.

"My friends had a book they got from a sailor, called The _Kama Sutra_. It's from a far-away land. It shows men and women having—doing—"

"Doing what?"

"Be quiet! I'm doing the best I can. They have pictures of men and women doing what we came close to yesterday. Having sex."

"Why was your—penis so big?" she snapped, turning crimson.

The question apparently amused Victor and he smiled. "It's called an erection. My penis has to be that way. If it's soft, it doesn't go in."

"In where?" she thought for a second. "Oh." She looked at him, her face burning. She could see how he was trying to explain it all and her irritation began to wane. "How did the wet stuff come out of you? And did it hurt you?"

"It's called ejaculation. And God no, it didn't hurt. It feels better than anything I know. It's—an eruption of pleasure. It makes me want to do it to you all the time." Impulsively he reached for her and tried to kiss her. She rebuffed him in her usual playful way.

"Why didn't I feel like that?" She shifted on the bench so her body was facing him, opening herself up to him. She was thinking maybe she did want him to kiss her after all.

He pulled her close and kissed her. "There's a thing that women have called the clitoris. That needs to get rubbed, then you feel good."

"Is that what your experts say?" she said with a smirk.

It made him run a hand over his face in slight exasperation, and then he looked sideways at her.

"You brat, you're laughing at me."

She grinned. "Only because it's so easy to do."

"I'll fix you, Eva Elisabet Maki."

He stood up from the bench, picked her up by her arms, and flung her into a nearby clean mound of hay. She yelped in surprised delight. He fell upon her, pinning her down. She giggled.

"Why aren't you fighting me?"

"I like you lying on top of me."

He pushed up with his arms and looked at her. "That's entirely new," he said seeming delighted.

She was becoming fully aware of his physical presence—his contact with her body. Her breathing increased, and she could feel his heartbeat. He was hard against her belly, and that hardness excited her remembering his erection. Her hips moved against him rhythmically.

"What are you doing down there?" he asked grinning at her.

She studied his face.

"Your eyes are sparkling. What do you want?" he asked.

"I want to feel what you felt when you—erupted and got all wet." She smiled.

"I can do it with my finger," he said. "And you'll still be a virgin."

To Eva, it felt like a science experiment. "What do I do?"

"First pull up your skirt. Then you just lie there and let me ..." He made a motion to slide his hand into her bloomers.

She felt a little self-conscious pulling up her skirts. "Will it hurt?"

"No, just the opposite." He smiled at her.

She felt scared but she trusted him implicitly. He seemed to know what he was doing. He began to rub her in that sensitive area at the top of her slit. It took several long minutes. She watched his face in wonder as she began to move toward her climax.

"Is it feeling better?" he asked, and kissed her while he continued the massage. He moved to a breast and bit it softly through her blouse. "Do you like me kissing your breast?"

"Ummm."

As her pleasure continued to increase she grabbed onto his jacket, digging her fingers into it. She began to breathe deeper, moaning.

"Move your hips. Remember how I did it yesterday?"

She did so. She moaned.

"Do you want me to keep going?" he asked.

Eva could barely get a "yes" out when she felt the wave come over her. Her body rocked uncontrollably in her release. The pulsing felt so good with his finger now pressed against it steadily. She was gasping for air.

"Is that what you felt?" She was shocked and moved at the new sensation. "I never knew that could happen."

"Yes, Eva, it's what I felt." He leaned in to kiss her.

"I liked it." She kissed him back, basking in her pleasure.

"I'm happy I gave you your first orgasm," he whispered, then kissed her again.

"That's what it's called? Orgasm?"

"Or climax."

"I'm still a virgin?"

"Yes."

She smiled and snuggled into him. "I feel sleepy now."

After many minutes of silence with Victor's arms wrapped around her, Eva looked up at him. "I want you to do it again," she said.

He laughed. "Let's get this barn mucked out, and then we'll see where we can go to be more private." He smiled at her as they stood up from the hay pile. They brushed each other off. For Eva, touching Victor and having him touch her was an entirely different experience now. She wanted the orgasm again and knew he could give it to her. He was magical to her now. As they picked up their tools to resume their task she felt full of a joy and wanting she had never felt until now.

As they worked together, Eva felt a new intimacy between them. She couldn't work fast enough, joyfully anticipating feeling her next orgasm. When they were finished she ran off with him to the lake and the cozy quilts of the lean-to.

### Chapter 5

Liam did not go back to the brothel. He spent time with his Catholic friend Patrick O'Brien and his family in their tiny row house in West Belfast enjoying their company and staying away from his own parents. He would only go home to get fed and cared for by Annie making sure she was all right. He knew how beastly his mother could be to her.

In mid-May skirmishes between the Protestants and the Catholics were breaking out in a few spots in the disaffected neighborhoods. One night, Liam and Patrick, working in tandem, planned to throw a Molotov cocktail at a group of gathering Protestants all wearing orange arm bands and brandishing clubs. Liam and Patrick had their hoods on sneaking around the end of a row house when a group of young adults with orange armbands came up behind them.

"We're in deep shite now, Liam," Patrick said. He threw the lit cocktail at the group behind them. "Run!" he shouted. The cocktail landed far in front of the small mob.

"Let's get those arsebites," one of the group said. "After 'em!"

There were about a dozen of the orange after them. Liam and Patrick turned corners of streets and kept running. Rounding one turn, an eight-foot stone wall loomed ahead of them. They stopped short.

"There's no way out but over," Patrick huffed. He was out of breath and sounded angry.

"Let's go over it then," Liam said. They could hear the raving orange gang drawing closer.

Liam and Patrick were able to get fingers and toes into the cracks and holes of the old stone-and-mortar wall. They hoisted themselves over just in time to remain unseen but not forgotten. They landed in a yard with another high fence surrounding it. The yard was full of rusted metal junk and a small shed. It was a storage area for the hardware store up front. Liam and Patrick looked at each other and knew they didn't have time to jump the other fence without being seen and eventually cornered. They ducked into the shed, going deep within the rows of cast-aside household plumbing and fixtures.

They could hear the gang on the other side of the fence.

"We all can't go over it so we'll send in two," one of them said.

Liam and Patrick, still with their hoods on and tucked into the junk in the shed, tried to be as quiet as possible. They heard the thud of the two pursuers landing inside the yard. Just when Liam heard the two come close to the shed door and rattle the knob, someone inside of the building let out two snarling dogs. Liam could hear the thundering of full-bore running on the hard-packed dirt of the yard.

"Christ, let's get out o' here, Jimmy!" someone said.

_I wonder if that's Jimmy Ryan,_ Liam thought to himself. _I don't recognize his voice._ He knew him from school and church.

Liam and Patrick could hear their pursuers scrambling up the wall to the other side but not without one of them getting bitten by a dog.

"Ahh! Jaysus Christ, he got me! If I had a gun those dogs would be goners."

"That'd be Seamus O'Donnell lettin' the dogs loose," Patrick whispered. "He knows we're here and he's leavin' the dogs out. We'll stay a while. He'll call them in when it's safe."

~~~

It took a half hour for the dogs to be called inside. That was O'Donnell's signal that it was clear to leave. When Patrick and Liam exited the shed, the store owner wordlessly waved them inside.

"That was close, boys," Seamus O'Donnell said. He shut the door after them. An acquaintance of Patrick, he was nearly seventy, bent over from rheumatism and years of hard work. "Will ye stay and have a whiskey wi' me?"

~~~

On their way back to Patrick's house, Patrick said to Liam: "Those orange bastards are gonna skin ye alive if they ever find ye out, ye know." They stopped in the street, facing each other. "It came mighty close today."

"Aye, it did, and most likely they'd kill me," Liam said. He thought for a moment. "The one they called Jimmy? I may know him. Perhaps I shouldn't do this anymore. We're gettin' older now and they're not so tolerant like they were when we were younger."

"Maybe so fer you," Patrick put in. He sighed. "I'll keep fightin' though."

"It doesn't ever seem to stop. What's it all about other than hatin' others for bein' a Protestant or a Catholic? Aren't we all worshipin' the same God? Don't both groups claim Jesus Savior?"

"We're tired of the second-class designation and bein' called the defeated ones. We want home rule and freedom from the dictates of British Protestants." Patrick paused. "Maybe I won't see ye for a while, Liam?"

"Maybe not, Paddy. Maybe it's not what I'm bein' called to do anymore. I'm startin' to get serious about medical school. Won't that beat all if I become a respectable doctor?"

Patrick gave him a one-sided smile.

Liam stood looking at Patrick for a few moments. They had been friends since they were ten-years-old.

"I'll always consider ye a friend, Liam. Hell, I consider ye a brother. If ye ever need anythin' count on me and my gang."

"Likewise, Paddy."

They shook hands, hugged, and parted—Liam back to the kitchen and Annie and Patrick back to his divided, violence-prone Belfast.

"Stay safe, my friend," Liam said, while he walked away.

### Chapter 6

Eva arrived home later, to warmth and the lovely fragrance of chocolate cake just out of the oven. It was her father's birthday she remembered. She had knitted a new pair of socks for him, noticing a while ago that his dress socks were so worn that darning the holes was just not worth it anymore. The old ones could be unraveled and the good yarn from them would be reused for rag mittens.

She entered the common room feeling self-conscious. She and Victor had just been giving each other orgasms with their hands. "Hello everyone," she said. "The cake smells heavenly. Is Pappa here?"

"He's out in the barn finishing up the milking," Mamma said. "He will be in shortly." She was sitting in the old wooden rocker while Liisa and Aili cleaned up.

"That gives me time to get his gift ready," Eva said noticing her voice was a little high-pitched.

"What's the matter, Eva?" Mamma said. "You sound ... different."

"Nothing's the matter." Feeling unnerved, Eva walked quickly into her bedroom and closed the door hoping they would think she just wanted the privacy to wrap her father's gift. She heard Pappa come in and the fuss being made over him. _Good_ , she thought, _Pappa's inside. That will take Mamma's attention off me_.

Eva wondered if she were wearing some sort of sign around her neck announcing what Victor and she had been doing. Eva felt a heavy weight of dread but it soon passed when she thought of Victor's gentle ministrations until she climaxed and how she held his penis to give him his pleasure. It gave her butterflies and took her breath away. _I love him so much,_ she thought _. And, I'm still a virgin. I know Victor wanted to go in there today but I still would not let him._

When Eva finished wrapping her father's gift she stood with her hand on the wrought iron door latch, took a deep breath, put on a celebratory face, and opened the door. She greeted her father with a kiss, put the gift down for later, and began to help with supper preparation. Nothing else was mentioned by her mother that night.

~~~

When Victor came in after milking he heard his mother call. "Victor, is that you?"

He found her in the pantry.

She looked up at him. "Where have you been all afternoon?"

"Eva and I cleaned the barn," he said. "Then we went to the lake to talk." He washed his hands and arms at the sink.

"About what?" she asked. Her voice sounded innocent, but Victor wondered about her sudden curiosity, innocent or otherwise. She'd never before asked where he'd been or what he'd been doing.

"Things," he answered with mild irritation. He picked up a towel and dried his hands. He didn't wait for her next inquiry as he hung the towel and walked to his bedroom. He sat on his bed and tried to assess the situation. Should he stay in his room for a while or go out to the kitchen to butter up his mother? He could ask about her cooking and comment on how good things would taste when it was time to eat. _Shit_ , he thought. All of a sudden his mother was focusing on him and Eva. He decided not to hide in his room, took a deep breath, and exhaled as he returned to the kitchen. His father and two brothers were walking into the room back from the ride to Rauma. _Good. The attention will be off me for a while_.

Eino was limping but able to put weight on his foot again. Victor hoped this would make his mother feel less trapped by Eino whose reemerged habit of incessantly demanding things from her had worsened with his immobility. _He also knows I've been pursuing Eva and he is not happy about it. He has no idea I have taken Eva away from him in the last twenty-four hours. All hell may break loose when he finds out,_ Victor thought _._ He felt triumphant. He didn't want Eino following them to watch. They'd have to be more discreet _._ But Eino wasn't the only one Victor was concerned about. He sensed his mother knew something. He would talk to Eva tomorrow.

~~~

Victor waited for Eva the next morning at his usual spot. The rain had cleared and it was a beautiful sunny morning. In the habit of checking, the hay field along the lane was a brilliant new-growth green. Victor looked up and his heart jumped when he saw Eva. She seemed happy to see him, her stride strong as she walked to him. He leaned to her for a kiss. She put her arms around him and held him in a way she never had before. He reciprocated in kind. They stood that way for longer than usual.

Victor finally broke the spell although the hug made him feel warm about her. "It was very strange last night with my mother," he said. "It's as though she knows something."

"I was thinking the same thing last night with mine," Eva said. "I thought she knew something about what we've been doing."

"Also, Eino is up and about so we need to be very careful, if we are to - you know-"

Eva seemed pensive for a few moments and then said with disappointment: "Maybe we shouldn't do it for a while, then."

Victor realized Eva was probably right. They would have to stop—for a while anyway. _A very short while_ , Victor declared to himself. _I just convinced her to start. I'm not about to go backwards and have to convince her all over again with all that cajoling and gentle prodding._ "I think you're right," he said. "I hope not forever. I like making love to you." He put his hand on her buttocks and pushed her into him. She giggled and pushed him away.

Then she smiled and came close to his lips with hers but ended up rubbing noses with him. "Me, too," she whispered. "I like calling it 'making love' and I'm still a virgin."

He breathed easy, knowing he's still on track to winning her.

"I can't get with child?"

"No. Not with my hand."

Holding hands, they walked up the dirt road to the farm. Victor was sure Eva wouldn't ignore the strong urges that had awakened in her in the last few days for long. _Olga was like that. Eva loves climaxing._

~~~

Four weeks went by. All the grains had been planted and plans at the Mattson farm turned toward getting ready for the Mid-Summer Festival, which was coming up in two weeks. _Juhannus_ was put on by the church in Rauma and was always held on the summer solstice. Eva and her sisters were enthusiastically preparing. Pappa, sick or not, insisted on going. Eva suspected that he knew he wasn't long for this world and was willing to put up with the body-wracking cough and discomfort to be with his family and friends. Mamma, too, seemed bound and determined to go to Rauma, even though her sight was diminishing at a rapid rate.

Eva and her mother were baking bread, enough to last the next couple of days.

"I have been meaning to talk to you, my daughter."

Eva's stomach tightened. "About what, Mamma?"

"I know you are of age now and you and Victor are spending a great amount of time together." She paused.

Eva thought it was as if she were either putting her thoughts together or afraid to say what she wanted to say.

"I just hope you and Victor are being careful."

Eva knew what her mother was afraid of and put her arms around her. "Mamma, I love you, and I want you to know ..." Eva hesitated for a moment "...that Victor and I plan to get married. He asked me a few weeks ago and I said yes. Please don't worry, Mamma. Victor will always take care of me. He promised. We are very happy together."

Mamma put her arms around Eva who felt enveloped in her love.

"I'll tell you something else," Eva said, trying to break things easily, "he has a wonderful idea to build a house for us right on the lake. Don't you love that idea, Mamma?" Eva felt her mother relax a little. "He's started to cut trees for the outside walls."

"As long as he is good to you and he will take care of you, your father and I are all right with everything."

They embraced for several moments.

_I'm glad she didn't ask me if I'm still a virgin even though I am._ Changing the subject, Eva groaned and told her mother that her monthly was coming on again. "But at least I won't have to bother with this in two weeks at the festival."

"Speaking of the festival, do you have your Rauma outfit ready? Your sisters do. Will you even want to wear it?"

"I'll have to take a look, bring it out to air, and see what Victor will be wearing."

After they put the bread to rise, Eva went into her room and came out with her costume. "What are you wearing, Mother?"

"My Rauma costume of course. Pappa will be wearing his, too."

Eva was happy that her mother was excited about attending the festivities. It would do well for both of her parents to get out and about even though they both were devout homebodies.

~~~

On that same day Victor made an unusual visit to Eva. Sundays were reserved for family and not visits to neighbors. As he approached the tenant's farm he saw Eva walking from the house to the springhouse and called to her. She looked up, smiled radiantly, and ran to meet him. He calmed his breath and tried not to look flustered.

She peered into his face. "What is it Victor? Are you all right?"

Without giving her a kiss or hug, he just blurted it out. "My parents know."

"Know what?"

"That we're getting married. Well, my mother suspected something so she had my father talk to me. Father and I were discussing farm business after chores and he asked me what was going on. Christ, Eva. I told them we were planning a marriage next spring." He waited for her to scold him.

"I told my mother, too," Eva said. "She knew something. She feels much better since I opened up to her. I told her you would take care of me. She liked that." She paused. "I hope you still want to marry me, Victor. You didn't change your mind, did you?"

Victor grabbed her in an embrace, hearing her grunt as she thudded against his chest. "Sorry," he said with an anxious giggle. "I love you and I still want to marry you. I want that more than anything," he said.

"Oh, good," Eva said. She sounded relieved. "Do you want to come in for coffee? Mother would be happy to see you."

"I'd like that."

They stopped in the vestibule, removed their shoes, and walked in surprising Eva's mother who was sitting in the kitchen rocker.

"Hello, Victor. How are you?" She started to stand, but Victor stopped her by bending down to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"I am well, Mrs. Maki. You are looking well yourself."

"How is your mother? Eva has been telling me of the difficult time she and your father have been having with Eino. Such a shame about him."

"She is coping as best she can. She was happy at the news that Eva and I have been discussing marriage." A thought suddenly occurred to Victor as he stood next to Eva's mother. "Now that I'm here, where is Mr. Maki? I'd like to talk to him."

He glanced at Eva, who had a quizzical expression on her face. He gave her a don't-worry look.

"He's outside in the barn with the girls. Why don't you go find him? Eva, you can stay in here with me. Victor may want to speak alone with Pappa."

"All right, Mamma," Eva said. "I'll just sweep up a little here in the kitchen."

Victor slipped his shoes back on and turned to leave. "Thank you, Mrs. Maki. I'll be right back, Eva." He smiled a big toothy grin to let Eva know all was well.

"I'll have coffee for you and Pappa when you come back in," Eva said and looked at Victor with a knowing smile. Yet when he shut the door behind him, her stomach churned thinking how Eino was going to react.

~~~

Victor stood at the closed barn door. He took a nervous breath, blew it out through his nose, and opened the door. _I can't believe what I am about to do. I hope it's the right thing._ Inside, Mr. Maki was taking a rest on a bench while his two younger daughters cleaned out the sheep stall.

"Hello, Liisa and Aili," Victor said cordially.

"Hello, Victor," Liisa responded, giving him a puzzled look.

"What are you doing here?" Aili asked.

"I've come to talk to your father."

"Go outside, girls," Mr. Maki said gently. "Victor and I need some privacy, please."

They obliged.

Mr. Maki managed a grin. "So, how is my boy? What brings you here today, Victor? Come to ask for my eldest daughter's hand in marriage?" His breath sounded ragged but he had a twinkle in his eye. In spite of his serious illness he had not lost his good humor.

_Eva is just like him_ , Victor thought with sweetness.

"As a matter of fact, I have," Victor said. "But how are you, Mr. Maki?" Even though he'd been an employee of his father's, Victor always showed the highest respect. It was how he'd been taught. As they shook hands Victor signaled to the thin, frail man to stay seated and then sat down next to him. "Eva and I have been spending a good deal of time together and I realize my feelings for her have grown. I ... we ... that is ..." Victor suddenly lost his concentration. He had an erotic flash of Eva half naked, her legs spread lying beneath him as he thrust in and out of her. _Oh God_ , he screamed inside his head. He could feel his face getting hot and his throat drying up. "The truth is I love her. I'd like your permission for Eva's hand in marriage and to have yours and Mrs. Maki's blessing." Victor coughed and swallowed hard to get his throat to moisten. He exhaled in relief.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Mr. Maki teased with a wry smile, eyes still twinkling. "You only stammered three times but you managed very well."

"Thank you, sir." Victor smiled tentatively, his face, still hot.

Mr. Maki waited a few long moments and then said, "I can think of no better young man for Eva than you. We knew this would happen sooner or later. For a while we thought it was going to be Eino, but it has turned out to be you and just as well since Eino's had run-ins with the law and what-not. It's sooner than we had expected, but Eva is of age. My only wish is that you take good care of her. She's my firstborn you know and very special although I probably treated her more like a son than a daughter. I don't know if that has been harmful or not." He had a faraway look of nostalgia.

"Eva is quite strong and independent because of you," Victor reassured him. "That is what I love about her."

"Did you say strong, or headstrong? She is that, isn't she?" They both laughed. "Just like her mother. Yes, I love my wife for it, too." He started to cough silently—his body wracked with the effort.

Victor grasped his arm. "Let me take you inside. The women will have coffee for us. I am sure we can get some water for you."

Mr. Maki waved him away. When the coughing subsided, he grabbed Victor's arm and together they walked out of the barn to the house. As they slowly walked, Victor had a dreadful feeling that Eva's father might not survive to see his first daughter get married next spring. Victor put on a good face when they came in. They took off their shoes and greeted the women with smiles.

After several minutes, Mr. Maki was able to speak again. "Seems this young Finn buck wants to marry our eldest, Sinnikka," he said. "What do you think?"

Victor cringed at the word "buck," feeling irritated, and perhaps guilty.

"I think it is wonderful." Mrs. Maki had moved herself to the table ready for coffee, assorted cookies, cake, and _nisu_. Eva remained standing to pour the coffee. She only sat when she saw that everything needed was available.

"All I ask, Victor," Mrs. Maki said, "is that you take good care of her. She doesn't know a lot about what a new wife needs to do. Though neither did I. One learns along the way."

Eva blushed. Victor could feel his face turning as red as hers. Mr. Maki grinned which made Victor and Eva blush even more.

"More coffee, anyone?" Eva attempted to change the subject, standing and pouring coffee and cutting more _nisu_ from the loaf on the table.

"I want to build a house for us on the lake," he told Eva's parents.

"It's lovely there," Mrs. Maki said. "We all have fond and fun memories from that place. Isn't that true, Olli?" She reached out her hand to her husband who grasped it in his.

Watching them, Victor wondered if they were perhaps remembering stealing away to the lean-to in the early days. Perhaps Eva was conceived in that very lean-to. Victor smiled to himself thinking that his and Eva's trysts weren't that much different than her parents'. That guilty pleasure rose in him, a feeling he was beginning to like.

After the second cup of coffee Victor suggested that he and Eva go to his house and formally announce the betrothal to his family. "We may as well just do it all in one day, don't you think?"

"Maybe you're right, Victor," Eva said. "Let's do that. Mamma, do you mind if I go?"

"I think it is as good a time as any," Mamma said.

"Pappa, is it all right with you?"

Eva's father waved a hand to signify "go ahead."

Eva went to him and kissed him on the forehead then turned to hug her mother. As Eva and Victor were leaving, Liisa and Aili were coming in from finishing the sheep stall.

"What's the rush?" Liisa said. "Where are you two going in such a hurry?"

"We've just told Mamma and Pappa that we are going to get married and now we are going to Mattson's to tell them," Eva said. Eva's sisters stared at them with bovine expressions. It appeared as though they couldn't distinguish if Eva and Victor were joking or not.

"Yes, it's true," Eva said as she and Victor swished away holding hands. She knew her sisters were wondering what happened and why it wasn't Eino she was marrying.

As they walked up the road toward the Mattson farm, Eva spoke first. "It feels magical, Victor. I am very happy. Are you?

"Of course, I am." He answered, putting his arm around her neck and kissing her.

~~~

As Eva and Victor arrived, his parents were sitting down to coffee. It wasn't quite dinnertime but good-smelling things were cooking on the stove. The kitchen was warm and the fragrance of roasting ham permeated the farmhouse, giving it a homey feeling.

"Hello children," his mother cooed. "Would you care for some coffee?"

Victor and Eva looked at each other. They had each had two cups at Eva's house and hadn't used the privy recently, but they accepted gladly. Everything—family and business decisions, announcements—was done over coffee. Coffee time, it seemed, was the unofficial Finnish family forum.

"What brings you two together, on a Sunday?" his mother asked, seeming a little bewildered at the break in routine.

"I have asked Eva to marry me," Victor said. "I went to Mr. Maki and he gave Eva's hand. So, we came right over to tell you that it's official."

"How wonderful," his mother gushed. "I am very happy."

"Congratulations, son," his father crowed and shook his son's hand. "Eva, we welcome you to the family." He bent to kiss her on the cheek.

"Tell your brother congratulations, Hannes," his mother said.

"Congratulations, brother." He, too, shook Victor's hand.

"Kiss your future sister, Hannes," his mother murmured again. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing's the matter, Mother." He, too, bent to kiss Eva on the cheek blushing as he did so. "Isn't it rather sudden?" he added, seemingly perplexed. "Where did this come from? I didn't know you two were in love."

"Well, Eva and I are very much in love," Victor answered.

"All right, if you say so."

"What is the matter with you, Hannes?" his mother said. "I tell you some boys are so embarrassed by showing affection," she giggled.

### Chapter 7

Katie the housekeeper at the Dady mansion, was getting married to a Catholic shopkeeper and was leaving at week's end to work alongside her new husband. Liam's parents were heading to Italy for a month's holiday. Liam was in the kitchen the morning of their departure and heard his mother talking to Annie.

"I'm leaving it to you to hire a new housekeeper while Mr. Dady and I are in Italy. I trust you to hire and train a decent hard-working girl," Mother instructed Annie coldly.

"Yes, Mum."

Liam was looking forward to being free of the irritation and oppressiveness of his parents even if it was only for a month. He considered himself damn lucky not to have been kicked out in April because of the row he'd had with them. At least he had a roof over his head and money in his pocket—and Annie.

~~~

After his parents left Liam found himself feeling lighter. On a beautiful afternoon he'd been roaming the East Belfast streets. He was in another part of the riverfront a bit away from the big shipyard of Harland and Wolff sitting on a low pylon that used to be part of a pier. He could see the giant gantries and hear the cacophony of noise coming from the active shipyard downriver. His senses were at a heightened state as he noticed the sounds of the laughing gulls, watched the puffy, white, fair-weather clouds moving freely across the sky, and felt the fresh, pungent sea air on his face. He felt himself let go of the low-level anxiety he constantly carried with him. He found himself thinking of Dolly—her face behind the rouge, the color of her eyes, _and that wheat colored hair_. _I want to go see her again,_ he thought _._

He was interrupted from his drowsy pleasant state by an abrupt unpleasant voice.

"It's fuckin' Dady," a voice said. The pock-faced Jimmy Ryan from the Protestant East Belfast shipyard row houses was walking toward Liam. "The animal who beat the shite out o' me Cousin John when we were sixteen." Jimmy was accompanied by two equally unpleasant-looking companions, one with a serious limp.

_It was Jimmy then, in the junk yard,_ Liam thought. _It's the same voice. Could it be the dog-bit one, too?_

Jimmy was not a friend of Liam's. A few years ago, at the end of a church service, Liam had accidentally bumped into a girl named Grace and knocked her bible to the floor. Grace was the girlfriend of Jimmy's cousin. Liam, being polite, had picked up the Bible for her. John apparently had seen Grace smile prettily at Liam and all hell had broken loose. John hadn't waited long to confront Liam after school on the cobblestone street.

"Saw ye with me girl, Dady," John had said. "What do you have to say fer yerself?" John was the neighborhood thug and just as pock-faced as his cousin.

Staying cool and calm Liam said in a level tone: "I have nothin' to say to ye, John, other than get the fuck out of my way. Who I talk to, is none of yer concern." Liam didn't want to fight this cretin. He'd rather turn and walk but the eejit wasn't going to let him.

"Not to my girl ye don't!"

"Well, I heard she doesn't like ye all that much."

John took a swing at Liam's face, but Liam deftly dodged it. He then began to pummel his would-be assailant into the ground, stunning John's gang and the small audience that gathered to see it. A few by-standers had to pull Liam off the shocked and bloodied John. Otherwise John would've been seriously damaged since Liam was not about to stop on his own.

Of course, Annie had a nervous fit when Liam showed up that night covered in blood.

"What the hell, Liam!" Annie almost never swore or took the Lord's name in vain, but this was an instance during which she did. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!"

"At least it's not my blood. It's John Ryan's. He thought he was going to tell me who to talk to."

Annie brought him into the laundry room to the big sink. The shirt came off and she began to wash the blood stain out of the front.

"Thank the Good Lord, Liam, ye only have skinned knuckles. Jesus, ye're goin' to be the death o' me. What is the matter with you boys at this age?"

"It must be we're all cretins," Liam said to add levity.

Liam's attempt at humor did not work. Annie was upset to the verge of tears but she kept them at bay.

"I'm sorry. I tried to walk away. I really did. He wouldn't let me." Liam lowered his eyes. "Annie, I'm sorry."

Now, eight years later, Liam still was loath to have anything to do with any Ryan.

"What are ye doin' over here?" Jimmy asked now. He sounded annoyed.

Liam didn't answer. He just stood up from the pylon and walked toward Jimmy.

This made Jimmy take a step backward. "Well, we saw ye sittin' here and we wanted to come to ask ye somethin'," Jimmy said nervously.

"Ye have about ten seconds before I walk away." Liam turned to go but Jimmy stopped him.

"Wait. We were wonderin' if ye'd like to fight for us in the pubs. There's a lot of money to be had. We manage, you fight. You win. and we all get a lot of money."

Liam stood still for a moment in contemplation. His father had been a little more withholding on his allowance lately. But this proposal would mean fighting and injuries. "Where's the next fight?" he asked. "I want to see what this is about before I decide."

"Tonight, at Flannery's." Jimmy kept a hopeful, wide-eyed gaze on Liam. "Be there at seven. We'll show ye what it's about."

Liam turned to go without giving his answer.

~~~

Flannery's was a Protestant pub on the edge of the docks, not that far from the brothel where Liam met Dolly. Flannery's was a higher-class joint, with mahogany booths surrounding the perimeter of the taproom and a big room in the back for parties and tonight, fist fighting.

Liam arrived around seven-fifteen and pushed the door open. The smoke and stink of drinking men hit him hard in the face as he squeezed his way to the bar for a pint. He had heard of these fights as he was growing up but his father designated them barbaric and low class.

"People of our standing, William, do not entertain them. I expect you will stay away," Father had said, talking down his nose at the idea.

His pint in hand, Liam took a sip and turned to see the crowd. He leaned back on one elbow at the bar. His father was right in his assessment of fighting being low class but Liam found it intriguing. Also, as he scanned around the room Liam saw a few men in expensive suits so perhaps it wasn't all that barbaric. Perhaps the money was good.

Liam spotted Jimmy snaking his way through the dense crowd toward him. Jimmy's face was animated, his pupils dilated, and his cheeks flushed with heat.

"I see ye have a pint. Let me take ye back." Jimmy turned and walked through the nearly impenetrable crowd.

Liam followed scanning the mass of faces for anyone familiar. He felt on guard and tense. He did not like to be surrounded and always needed to spot a quick way out. He noticed a side door to the left and kept that in mind.

Inside the back room at last, Jimmy made his way to his gang. No ropes delineated the ring. It was just an open space in the middle of the floor with rows of people four deep backed up to the wall surrounding the center. At one end of the room three men at an elevated table seemed to be taking bets and keeping the program organized.

Jimmy leaned into Liam and said, "The first fight is about to start—oh, here they come from the storage room."

Bare-chested and bare knuckles wrapped in a few layers of gauze the two opponents readied themselves. With a referee standing by to call the fight, the fighters' fists came up and they waited for the starting bell to ring. No more bets were taken.

The bell clanged in Liam's ear and the two opponents began to dance around, eyes intent on the other, waiting for the right moment to make the jab or hook that would make contact.

Liam was wondering why they didn't just get on with it. Perhaps it was about the show and not so much the fighting. He would have to watch and see.

When the first bruising contact was made, the crowd cheered. Now the blood flowed and the barbarity began. Managers of either contender hollered strategies to their fighter. Both were at equal skill so when the first of three rounds were finished, the fight hadn't been decided. They would have to go more rounds.

For the fourth time the bell clanged in Liam's ear to his great annoyance but he kept his focus on the fighters. He noticed one of them was blinded by a reopened cut on his eyebrow leaving him vulnerable to his opponent. And then the fight started to turn. The blood in the one's eyes was fodder for the other to start a series of hooks and jabs and one upper cut to the chin. It seemed that was the final blow. The referee completed the count, and the sprawled-out man was deemed knocked out. The winner bounced around triumphantly as his supporters crowded around him with exuberance. The floor was cleared and the blood was cleaned up for the next fight.

"So, what did ye think, Dady?"

"What do ye mean, what did I think?" Liam looked at Jimmy with irritation. "It was a fuckin' fist fight."

Jimmy appeared to be speechless. He just stood there, mouth agape.

"If I do this," Liam said, "I get sixty percent of the winnin's each time. No negotiations." He paused and looked at the eager faces. Then he concluded his deal. "I do this for the summer only. I'm not sure what I'll be doin' come fall."

Jimmy tried to dicker on the sixty percent. "I don't think we can do that, Liam. There's four of us splitin' forty—"

"Take it, or find another fighter." He stared at Jimmy waiting for his answer.

"Fine, it's a deal," Jimmy said. "Next fight is here next week. We'll sign ye up. If ye want to train come to my house in the back shed. No one's home durin' the day."

Liam handed Jimmy his empty pint glass then turned and went out to the front taproom. He wasn't happy with what he just agreed to do but he needed his own source of income. He could put the money in the bank in case his current source dried up at the whim of his father. Liam decided he would go to Jimmy's in the coming week to get into better physical condition with the punching bag.

He made his way back to the bar for another pint. As he sipped it, leaning with both elbows on the sticky bar, he felt a light touch on his shoulder. The gentle touch surprised him and he was still more surprised when he turned to find Dolly looking coyly up at him. He didn't know what to say at first and settled on a faint smile, feeling himself blush.

His erection was instantaneous and intense. Neither one spoke as he chugged part of his pint in a big gulp, put it down on the bar, and grasped Dolly's elbow. He gently led her through the crowd, out the side door, and into the dark alley.

He still could not say anything as he pushed her against the wall of the building and pulled her skirts up out of the way. She opened his trouser buttons deftly. He lifted her high enough to enter her. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he ground away at her until he suddenly released his pent-up desire. She, too, panted in hers. He collapsed onto the cobbled-alley floor with Dolly on top of him. They lay holding each other tight, her head nestled into his neck.

Finally he spoke. "I'm sorry I took ye so fast," he said. "It's just when I saw ye I couldn't help myself."

"I was so glad to see ye Liam. My heart ..." She stopped.

"What about your heart?" He gently ran his finger along her cheek bone.

She whispered in his ear. "My heart jumped and my belly tickled."

He smiled at that. "My belly tickled too. Then I wanted ye very much."

She pulled herself away from his neck and kissed him long and sweetly. He put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her. "We should probably get up off this dirty cobblestone," he said.

He grabbed a small barrel nearby and sat on it. Dolly climbed on his lap to cuddle more.

"So, what will we do next?" he asked. She nuzzled into his neck, kissing it. He could feel her need for contact, a possible need for nurturing and caring. He felt the need to care for her.

"I don't know Liam. All I know is, I just want to get away from what I'm doin'. I never felt this wanting, not until..." Her voice became soft. "Not until I met ye and I was afraid I would never see ye again. I don't even know if ... ye care at all fer me."

"I care for ye Dolly, very much." He hadn't realized until that instant how much he cared. He felt a true love for her just then. He put his arms around her and held her fiercely, kissing her neck and face in little pecks that made her giggle. They looked at each other in the brash light from the building's windows. His heart beat loudly in his ears as she shifted her legs, straddling him. They kept their eyes on each other as they made love once more on the barrel, eyes closing when each had their release.

When a loud noise from inside the building forced them out of their love spell, she drowsily stood up.

"I'll come for ye tomorrow mornin'." Liam said. "Pack yer things and put a nice suit on. Ye'll be meetin' someone who's goin' to hire ye as housekeeper."

"At whose house, Liam?" she asked.

"Mine." He was grinning. "Can ye get back home all right?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. I'll take a cab."

He kissed her passionately not wanting to part from her. He felt hesitant as he left her standing at the alley head.

~~~

Dolly's heart sang. She had no idea Liam would care for her as much as she cared for him. _Thank you, God, for answerin' my prayer to find him again!_ Her heart felt the way it had at their first parting.

She was just about to walk to the cab across the street when a harsh voice startled her. A hard, vicious hand gripped her upper arm making her yelp in pain. It was Shaughnessy.

"Where's his pay, cunt?"

"He ... I ... don't have it. Can ye please let go, Shaun?" He was gripping her tight and his face was a half an inch from hers. She felt herself wetting her bloomers.

"Ye better get his fee or I'll take it from ye and ye don't want it that way, surely," he spewed his vileness into her face. To add humiliation to injury he smacked her in the face before he gruffly released her arm, shoved her, and then disappeared into Flannery's. She landed hard on her knees, making them sting.

In shock and mortification, her body shook as she broke down into a crumpled heap on the cobblestone sidewalk. Several "gentleman" passed by as though she were not even there. Finally, she was able to regain her composure enough to get up and get back to her lodgings.

~~~

The next morning Liam came whistling into the kitchen.

Annie smiled at him. "I don't believe I've ever heard ye whistlin' before, Liam."

He smiled back as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot on the stove. He sat at the table as Annie fetched the cream and sugar and he thanked her. He liked his coffee with lots of cream and sugar. As he sat and stirred his cup, he stared at Annie. He could see that his steadfast gaze had piqued her interest. He grinned.

"What?" she said finally.

"I've found the perfect housekeeper for ye."

"Who, Liam? And please don't say it's the "girl" you were with on your birthday."

"Annie, I want ye to meet her. I'm going to get her now." He looked at her in all seriousness. "We'll be here for lunch."

"Liam, you are the boss while your parents are gone. I can't tell ye what to do or who to hire, but ..." Annie tried to be adamant, but seemed to lose out to his sweet face so full of hope. "Fine, I'll meet her. I can see it's makin' ye happy. But if I think yer parents will disapprove, I will tell ye."

"Fair enough, but you won't be disappointed," he said with confidence, smiling at her. "Got any breakfast?"

"Of course, don't I always?" She smiled back but still seemed skeptical.

She took a linen towel off a plate piled with eggs and sausages. She put it down in front of him.

"Thanks, darlin'," he said with enthusiasm.

His animation flustered her, and she blushed.

"Smile, Annie." Looking at her with a big grin, he picked up the fork and dove into his breakfast.

### Chapter 8

It was a day before the trip to Rauma for the Mid-Summer festival. All the girls and ladies of the two families had their costumes ready. The single girls, Aili and Liisa, were planning what they would put in their dinner baskets for the auction. The single men would bid on a basket to win a picnic with their favorite girl. The money went to the church to help the poor families in the area. It was always a fun time for the community to see the young folks pairing off wondering who would become couples and get married sometime in the future.

Since Eva had already been promised to Victor she would not be participating in the auction, but she still wanted to make up a basket for her and Victor. It occurred to her that Victor wouldn't be participating in the auction either. She realized, with a tinge of pride and giddiness, that all those girls who were in love with Victor and followed him around year after year would be sad that he was no longer available. As Eva sat at the kitchen table with her sisters that evening, she knew she mustn't gloat even though a small part of her wanted to. She was beside herself to know that soon everyone would realize that she was to be married to the most eligible bachelor in the area. _Those girls will still swoon but he is mine now. They'll have to find someone else_.

She got up from the table, leaving her sisters to their picnic baskets, still in her dream of "winning" Victor. She walked outside into the warm, June late afternoon, her senses heighted by her romantically victorious mood. She slowly began the walk toward the Mattson farm with no specific intention to go there.

~~~

At the farm, Victor walked into the main barn to find the new salt lick for the near pasture. He found Eino in a corner chugging on a bottle of vodka. Eino looked at him and put the bottle down on the floor. Without saying a word Eino walked up to Victor and shoved him. Victor took a swing and hit Eino in the jaw. Eino reciprocated with a backhand across the face. Victor, enraged, gave his brother a forceful angry shove that sent him sprawling onto the hard dirt floor.

"Who do you think you are, hitting me like that?" Victor said with indignant vitriol.

"You pig, Victor," Eino hissed lying on the floor. "You've been whoring around the countryside for years and you have the gall to ask Eva to marry you. I've been with Eva this whole time while you couldn't have cared less about her. All of a sudden you want her? You don't deserve her. You are a liar and a cheat. She has no idea who you really are." Eino struggled but managed to get to his feet.

Victor wanted to prove his superiority. He stood square, chest out, feet apart. "Oh, and I suppose you do?"

"Yes. I see you going from girl to girl. Olga, Sally Niemi, and I don't know who else. I haven't seen it with my own eyes, but I suspect that young widow in Rauma is one of your regular stops. How old is she? Twenty-five?"

Victor struggled to keep his gaze fierce. He felt a pang of fear go through him. Everything his brother was said was true.

"I just saw your eyes, Victor. You know I am telling the truth. I'm just about to tell Eva about you."

"And she's going to believe you? Look at you, Eino. You are a drunk," Victor spit. "Eva says she wants nothing to do with you. You are trash. Now get out. Leave!" He pointed to the door.

Victor thought he'd taken care of the situation but as Eino passed by him to leave, he suddenly rounded on Victor and gave him a solid right hook in the jaw. Now Victor was on the floor, knocked nearly senseless. In the background he could hear the barn door open. "I know she didn't call me trash and I know how she really feels about me," Eino insisted. "I'm going to find Eva."

~~~

As Eva dreamily picked wild flowers along the edge of the road she spotted a male figure walking toward her out of the corner of her eye. At first glance she thought it was Victor. Then she realized that the hair was blond. The disheveled figure was Eino. She almost turned to go home but decided with prickly irritation to show she was not afraid. She kept walking toward him.

Eino was staggering somewhat. _He's been drinking_ , she thought. She studied his face to get a sense of his mood. Oddly, he looked almost pleased to see her. Still there was no true reading of him. He could change at the drop of a hat.

"Well, if it isn't the future Mrs. _Victor_ Mattson," he said. "Are you happy you've crushed me?"

_He knows I've chosen Victor._ She felt afraid.

"I just punched your lover boy. Told him I was coming to tell you. He didn't believe me. He's probably letting his Mamma tend to his wound." He grabbed for Eva. "You're coming with me now," he said. "You're mine. You always were. Victor doesn't deserve you."

Eva avoided his grasp the first time. The second time, however, he proved to be quite agile for someone so inebriated and caught her forearm.

"I can fuck you just as good as he can. Some girls say I'm very good." Eino yanked her close to kiss her, making her neck snap. "You have no idea—"

She cut him off by trying to slap him, but he dodged it. "Let me go!" she said through clenched teeth. She struggled to free herself of his vise-like grip. She could feel bruises starting on her wrist where his fingers were grasping her.

She smelled alcohol as though he'd dowsed himself with it. As they struggled, she saw Victor coming toward them.

"Stop, you son of a bitch! Let her go!" Victor yelled hoarsely.

Eino let go of Eva and turned to Victor. But before Eino could ready himself, Eva cocked her arm and slapped him in the face with all her might knocking him down to the ground like a felled tree.

"Don't ever grab me again, Eino," she said through her teeth. "What has happened to you? You act like everyone has turned against you. You've turned mean and vicious. It's all because I said you were more like a brother to me."

"That's a lie; I know how you feel about me."

"I'm done with you," she snapped. " _I_ get to choose my life. _Not_ you."

She took several breaths and stood above Eino who lay on the road with her fists balled at her sides. "If you are so unhappy then go from here." When she finished she purposefully held out her hand to Victor.

"Are you all right, Eva? Did he hurt you?" Victor asked as they walked back towards Eva's house leaving Eino sprawled in the middle of the lane.

"Not too much. Just on my wrist where he grabbed me."

Eva glanced back to see Eino get up and head in the other direction. _I've hurt him terribly,_ she thought. Tears came to her eyes. If Victor hadn't had a hold of her elbow, she would've run back to Eino. Then she took a few more steps and it was too late. The damage was done.

~~~

When Victor arrived home that evening, he learned from his parents that Eino had packed a small bag of clothes and several items and left. Victor would tell Eva the next day. It was excellent news for him especially if Eino didn't come back. At bed, Victor remembered searching Eva's face after the incident for telltale signs if Eino had said anything about his running around the countryside with other women. _She looked at me as she always does, although she was upset at the incident,_ Victor thought _. She wasn't angry at me. She accused me of nothing. Eino must have kept his mouth shut._ Victor sighed with relief and fell asleep feeling triumphant.

### Chapter 9

After breakfast Liam went directly to the brothel to take Dolly out of there for good. He had a pocketful of money in case Shaughnessy demanded some kind of payment. When he walked in, however, no one was there but two barmaids cleaning the place. He made the observation that they could clean the place until kingdom come and it still wouldn't make a dent in the filth. _Jesus,_ he thought. _I'm glad I'm gettin' Dolly out of this hellish place_.

Once upstairs he went to the back room and knocked. Dolly opened the door but she didn't run into his arms as he had expected. Instead, she avoided looking him in the face.

"Dolly, what's the matter?" He wanted her to look at him. He gently took her arm.

She flinched in seeming pain.

"What happened, Dolly? What's the matter with yer arm?"

She sobbed. "Go home, Liam. I'm not for ye."

"What do ye mean? Why can't ye look at me?" He became alarmed. He finally made her show her face and what he saw nearly made him scream.

She had a nearly black bruise on her left cheekbone. It seemed as though she had been crying all night.

She still wouldn't say anything. Standing face to face, he gently opened her filthy robe to see where she was hurt.

"Don't worry," he said softly. "I'm just lookin'."

When he discovered the blue-black bruise going around her thin upper arm, finger prints clearly evident, she began to cry silently.

"God damn him," Liam said under his breath. "This is my fault. He found out about what we did in the alley last night, didn't he? I should've come long ago."

"Liam, it's no use," she said. She began to hyperventilate.

He held her in his arms. "I am not leavin' ye here. Ye're comin' with me now!"

He sat her gently on the bed, looked in her shabby, broken armoire, and got her clothing for her. He pulled out her little carpetbag and began to pack the rest of her belongings. There was barely anything, just a few pieces of clothing and a worn black-velvet box.

"Come darlin', we're goin'. Get yer clothes on." Though he spoke gently, she still looked absolutely helpless. "All right," he said. "I'll help."

He sat next to her on the bed. He picked up her petticoat. She watched him. He glanced at her and gave her a reassuring smile.

"You really are takin' me out of here, aren't ye?" she said weakly. She looked astonished. "I thought last night was a dream. But it's real, isn't it, Liam?"

"Ye're goin' to have to take off yer dressin' gown so we can put your undergarments on. And yes, Dolly, it's real. Ye're comin' with me. Annie's waitin' for us. She'll be talkin' to ye."

She pulled her robe tie, let it fall from her shoulders, and sat naked in front of him. Tears ran down her face.

"Shaughnessy won't let me go," she said in fear. "He'll hurt ye, Liam."

"He won't hurt me," Liam said evenly. "I'll come back later tonight and square things with him."

"I'm scared for ye."

He ignored her statement and gazed softly at her.

"All right. Let's go," he said when she was dressed. He looked into her eyes, seeing a smidgen of hope there. "He's not downstairs, but I think it would be wise if we took the back stairs."

Liam picked up her carpetbag and the two of them stepped quietly down the back stairs and out the door.

They went directly home to Annie.

"Darlin', what's happened to ye, poor thing?" Annie said. "Let's take care of ye."

She and Liam drew Dolly a hot bath. Once she was in the water, Liam bathed her as she gazed in wide-eyed non-belief at him.

"Don't ye want me, Liam?" she said.

"Not right now, darlin'. I wouldn't take advantage of anyone in yer condition."

"I don't believe ye."

He snorted through his nose in a moment of humor, continued, until she was washed.

Clean from the bath and in one of Annie's nightgowns, Dolly sat with Liam and Annie in the warm kitchen. They ate saddle of mutton, potatoes, and boiled baby carrots. Dolly had two big helpings and a large glass of fresh cold milk.

When she was finished, Annie said, "Ye best have a sleep child. Ye look exhausted. If ye're to work here we need to get ye a little more on yer feet."

"I'd like that, mum." Dolly covered a yawn through her fingers, a showing of manners that seemed incongruous with her purple-black battered face. In the light from the window, Liam could see the hand print on her face quite clearly. Annie gave him a side-glance.

Annie and Liam took Dolly to the servants' quarters just off the kitchen and put her in Katie's bed, Katie having already left for her new life. As Liam helped Dolly into bed, he tucked her under the covers.

"I want to stay with her until she falls asleep," he whispered to Annie.

Annie hesitated for a short moment then looked into Liam's eyes and nodded her head. As she left the room, she closed the door quietly behind her.

It didn't take long for Dolly to fall sound asleep, but not before she took a moment to breathe in the fragrance of the fresh, clean linens. Liam, not saying a word as he knelt next to the bed holding Dolly's hand, watched a tear spill out of her closed eyes. He kissed her still furrowed brow and watched the tension sweetly leave her face.

_I'll take care of Shaughnessy tonight. I promise ye,_ Liam said to himself.

~~~

A few minutes later, Liam came back into the kitchen where Annie was clearing up. He closed the door quietly and came to her side to help.

Annie gave him a look of doubt. "She's no bigger 'round than my leg, Liam. It's a good thing we have a month to feed her so she looks decent when your parents return." She gave a deep sigh. "I'm just not sure ..."

"I've never been so sure of anythin', Annie."

Liam and Annie worked in a close silence. Liam was lost in thought. All of a sudden, they both looked at each other.

"Most boys bring home stray puppies to take care of," Annie said. Liam put his arms around her shoulders from behind. "You bring home a half-starved girl."

He blew out a puff of air through is nose and kissed Annie's cheek as a son would his mother. "Was I ever like any other child?" he asked.

"Ye always could get yer way with me," Annie declared with a sigh.

He gave her a smile as he let go and put the dried dishes on the shelf.

~~~

When Dolly finally woke with a start, it was evening. She looked over her shoulder to see Annie sitting in a rocker under an electric lamp. Annie was mending something, maybe a petticoat, Dolly thought.

"Did ye have a restful sleep?" Annie asked.

"Yes, thank you, mum, although I didn't know where I was for a moment when I woke." She fell back into the feather pillow, still feeling half asleep. She took another deep breath of the clean linens she was lying in. "Where's Liam, mum?"

"I don't know. He left not ten minutes ago and wouldn't tell me where he was goin'. He said he had somethin' important to do."

Dolly looked at Annie.

"What's that dark cloud of worry spreadin' across yer face, child? He'll be back as soon as he can."

Dolly felt a shiver run down her spine. She had a dreadful feeling that Liam went to Shaughnessy's. She let go an audible, uneven exhale.

"Do ye want somethin' to eat?" Annie asked cheerfully. "Come. Let's get a shawl 'round ye and we'll go in the kitchen to scrounge."

Once in the kitchen, Annie put a variety of food on the table: soda bread and butter, hard boiled eggs, blueberries, strawberries, and milk. Dolly sat at the table and looked wide-eyed at Annie. She felt like a child asking for permission to open all the Christmas presents.

"Go ahead child. Help yerself," Annie said encouragingly.

Dolly immediately reached for the berries. "They look so pretty, mum. I never had these. What are they?" She picked them with her fingers and started to eat them.

"Ye've never seen those?" Annie asked, eyebrows raised. "The red ones are strawberries and the dark ones are blueberries. They are nice and sweet, aren't they?"

"Some of them are makin' my cheeks pucker but they are grand, altogether." Dolly talked through handfuls of berries going at a rapid rate into her mouth. When the bowl of berries had been completely consumed, Dolly cracked a cooked egg, peeled it, took a bite and paused to savor another new-to-her flavor. When two eggs were gone, Dolly picked up a chunk of soda bread, spread copious amounts of butter on it, and began to devour that.

"Is this what the Bible means by manna from heaven?" she asked Annie.

"To you, it's exactly what it means," Annie replied with a smile.

While Dolly fixed another piece of bread and butter, Annie reached for a clean glass from the shelf and poured milk for her.

"Thank you, mum," Dolly said through hard swallows. She took a gulp to help wash the bread down, and then put the glass down to finish the last bite of bread.

"Let me get ye a napkin. Ye have a milk mustache."

"What do ye mean?" she looked up puzzled.

"Did ye ever have a childhood, darlin'?" Annie asked rhetorically with compassion.

~~~

It took Liam twenty minutes to walk to the brothel. At least it was a pleasant spring evening. He had put several pound notes from his dresser drawer in his pocket before he left—at least ten. As he walked he steeled himself for his anticipated confrontation with Shaughnessy.

When he arrived Liam reverted to instinct. He entered. The door slammed behind him. It was a slow night and everybody startled at the noise. Liam spotted Shaughnessy behind the bar homing in on Liam with his beady, predatory eyes.

"You." His voice was low and menacing. "Where's my Cunt?"

"Safe ... away from you," Liam declared. As he walked towards the bar he didn't hesitate. With purpose, his voice was strong and steady and his demeanor was quietly powerful. Shaughnessy took a few steps backward at Liam's swift, aggressive approach even though there was a mahogany bar between the two.

Liam spoke evenly and quietly. "She's yours no longer." He slapped the pound notes from his pocket on the filmy, sticky bar. Shaughnessy, wide-eyed, scooped the notes into his filthy hands. Liam grabbed Shaughnessy's scrawny black tie and jerked him close.

"If ye ever try for revenge and she's in anyway hurt, I'll sneak into yer room some night and slit yer throat. Ye won't hear me comin', I swear. Ye won't know when." Shaughnessy struggled a little but Liam kept a steady squeeze. "If ye come fer me, one of my friends will come for ye somewhere in the night. I'll have it all arranged. Do ye hear me?" Liam's gaze was steadfast. He saw the smarmy pimp's eyelid twitch. With that twitch, Shaughnessy had caved. He let go, took a few steps backward, eyes fierce and steadfast on the pimp.

"One more matter..." Liam said. He walked around behind the bar and cornered Shaughnessy. The pimp cringed and put his hands up in a feeble attempt at defense. Liam gave him a punishing overhand right, a dead aim on Shaughnessy's left cheek bone, knocking him to his hands and knees.

"That's fer hittin' Dolly, ye fuckin' coward."

As Liam turned to go, he heard Shaughnessy scramble to the money on the bar and say to his crowd: "Christ, ten pounds. She must give good head. I woulda settled fer five."

Satisfied, Liam left.

~~~

Relieved the business with Shaughnessy was over Liam hurried home to Dolly and some supper. He was hungry. And, only if she felt better, he was craving her. He wasn't ashamed of his physical feelings. They made him feel alive—so alive and joyful.

Walking down the side of the house, Liam looked in a window and saw Dolly alone in the kitchen sitting in a rocker. _Perhaps Annie's gone to bed,_ he thought. It was quite late. Dolly was wrapped in a shawl in the chilly room. Liam entered through the outside door through the laundry room. Dolly startled when Liam opened the door from the laundry room. She stood.

"Oh, Lord be praised," she said. "Ye're back." She ran to his arms. They embraced for a long moment. He felt her physical presence.

"Are ye hungry?" she asked.

He smiled down at her. "Yes, and yes." He saw the perplexed look on her face and decided he needn't pursue explanation of the double entendre right now.

"Well then, sit down and I'll fetch somethin'. Annie showed me where things are for when ye come home." She smiled seemingly at the domesticity of the scene. She set a plate before him and sat down opposite him.

Liam sat at the kitchen table and watched her. She appeared to be moving from one good feeling to the next as she watched him eat. He hesitated for a moment, and then asked, "Are ye feelin' better?"

"Yes, much better. I slept long this afternoon, and now I'm wide awake." She looked coyly into his eyes. "I'm used to being up at these hours."

"Ye're quite fetchin' in yer flannel," he said. "It's better than the French lingerie. It makes ye look comfortable and cuddly."

She smiled and blushed. Her hair, undone and clean, shined golden blond in the low electric lights of the kitchen, flowing to her breasts and framing her rosy, cleaned face in spite of the bruises. Liam could see her natural beauty now without all the rouge and dirt. He was stunned. She looked at him now in a way that mirrored his fierce desire for her.

"I don't want to hurt ye. Ye've been injured," he said, concerned for the delicate, spindly girl.

"Ye won't," she said confidently.

"If I do, tell me to stop. Ye have a right to do that." He looked deep into her eyes. "Do ye understand that?"

She sighed in relief. "Yes, I do."

He wasn't quite sure she did, so he continued. "Don't ye stand down to a man again. Ever. It's only at yer invitation. Even with me."

She extended her hand palm down as she stood from her chair. He took it palm up and stood. Dolly put her arms around his torso and put her cheek on his heart.

"I think this is the first time I ever felt protected," she murmured. "Maybe it's trust, Liam. And I don't even know ye."

"Ye've come from a rough life, Dolly. I'm surprised ye're as solid as ye are. I think maybe ye have a toughness about ye that most people don't have."

"I always prayed to be rescued. I never lost that faith. And then when ye walked into the brothel door, I had no idea that I'd be invitin' such a kind and gentle man to ... pleasure. Not until ye kissed me did I have an idea."

"I didn't know either," he said. "And when ye gave me that birthday kiss, somethin' inside me changed although I didn't know it at the time. I was surprised ye showed up at Flannery's. I had already decided to come see ye again. And there ye were."

They held each other in silence. She took two deep breaths.

"He's not gonna come fer me?" she asked at last, barely audible.

"Shaughnessy? No," Liam answered.

"I believe ye."

"I'm glad ye're safe," Liam whispered. He lifted her chin to kiss her.

"Take me to yer bed, Liam," she sweetly commanded keeping her eyes on his.

~~~

Liam and Dolly woke late the next morning to the foyer clock's chime of ten.

"The room is so big, Liam," she remarked. She was sitting up in his bed. "I didn't see it in the dark when we came in last night. It's so fancy." She lay back down and cuddled into the crook of his arm, cooing in comfort. "Ye're not awake yet?"

"Half," he said drowsily.

"Do ye still want me here?"

"Oh, aye. More than ever."

He turned her around so her naked back and buttocks were against his warm, naked chest and rising maleness. He held her fast and nuzzled the back of her neck and hair, aroused by her femaleness. They lay still. He was captivated by her. He was pleasured by his strong arousal for her. He felt her push her bum up against him and smiled at her playful wiggles.

"What are ye waitin' for, Liam?"

"For you to say it's all right."

"Well, I thought I just did."

"Ye mean that little wiggle?"

"Yes." She rolled onto her back, grinning. Her legs were open and her cheeks were flushed. She pulled him onto her and wriggled again, inviting him inside. He accepted her invitation. Both became quiet when he entered her. Their lips touched softly as they came into a slow and unspeakably tender rhythm.

She cooed and put her legs around his torso. "I love ye so much, Liam," she breathed. Her hands went to her breasts. His tongue took over. Her hands dropped to her sides. In a whimper she met him a little more forcefully. "Oh my ... it's ..." She exhaled sharply. Her hips began bucking. Tears dropped from the corner of her eyes as Liam quietly climaxed breathing heavily into her neck.

After a few moments of complete stillness, he looked up at her, inhaled, let it out, and smiled at her. Her head was cushioned by the fluffy goose-down pillows with her wheat colored hair splayed all around her head. "Ye look like a Celtic goddess," he said.

"And ye're my Celtic warrior come to save me."

"And we live happily ever after."

"Do ye think?"

"I know so."

Still joined, he propped himself up on his elbows, lost in her rich, emerald green eyes. He used his fingertip to wipe the earlier tear tracks from the corner of her eyes. As he did so, something in her changed and the tears began to flow freely. He carefully rolled off and scooped her into his arms, rocking her until she lay limp and sniffling.

"Ye don't quite trust it yet, do ye?"

"It's all so new."

They stayed that way for some time, in and out of dozy contentment. At one point he focused outward and heard the clock strike one.

"It just occurred to me, Dolly, I don't know yer last name. And here I've been makin' love to ye, and all."

"Me mother's name was Lil Mahan, so I guess it's mine. I have no idea who my Da was. Mam died before she told me anythin'. I don't think she knew anyway. She died a year ago with the Sisters. They said of the Consumption."

"Ye've lost a lot, Dolly. I'm sorry," he said softly. He stroked her arm. "It's possible the tears ye've been sheddin' since ye got here have been lettin' go of all the past."

She cuddled into him and stopped crying.

"Perhaps we'll see more cryin' in the comin' days," he said. "You just come to me when ye feel it comin' on and I'll hold ye for as long as ye need it."

She looked up at him and gave him a faint smile. She put her hand on his cheek.

He saw a spark of strength in that smile. "I have a feelin' that you'll soon stand strong on yer own two feet. I just saw it in yer eyes." He kissed her smiling mouth and sighed. "Let's wash up, get dressed, and have something to eat," he said. "We'll have to make our own food because Annie's gone for the week on her holiday. Between the two of us, I think we'll do fine."

~~~

The day Annie came back it was time to start Dolly on her training as new housekeeper of the Dady mansion. Liam left for the day not saying where he was going. He came back later that night worse for the wear.

"Liam, why are ye so battered? Was it ... him?"

"No, it wasn't Shaughnessy."

"What in God's name have ye been doin'?" Annie asked. He was standing there in the kitchen with a cut lip, a black eye, and abraded knuckles. "Ye're not back with Patrick on the streets again, are ye?" Annie went to the cupboard and got out the box of bandages and antiseptic, the one she'd always gotten out since she started to take care of him.

"I made a deal with Jimmy Ryan that I'd fight for him for the summer. It's a way for me to earn a great deal of money and start savin'." He pulled a wad of paper money out of his pocket and put it on the table.

Both Annie and Dolly, in their night gowns already, stood staring at him and the money, seemingly incredulous.

"Are ye mad, Liam?" Dolly asked. She made him sit in a kitchen chair. "Let me look at ye."

"Ye don't have to, Dolly. I can clean myself up."

"Hush," Dolly uttered. Annie got out the bandages and iodine and Dolly stood in front of him while she cleaned his wounds. Her cotton-covered unbound breasts were right in front of him.

"I don't want to say anythin' about the view ..." Liam quipped.

"Liam, watch yer tongue," Annie admonished him but with a turned-up corner of her mouth in a half-smile. She turned away and went off to bed.

Dolly and Liam looked at each other then snickered after Annie shut the bedroom door.

~~~

Two weeks were left before the elder Dadys would return. Annie had shown Dolly the run of the house and what her duties would be. The following week Dolly developed an efficient routine. There was freedom to ask as many questions as she liked and it wasn't long before she was working independently—sweeping, dusting, changing bed linens, polishing silver, beating rugs outside, and doing the wash. She was exhausted at the end of each day but it was good, honest work.

One night Liam, Dolly, and Annie sat together in the kitchen. Liam told Dolly that he was worried she was working herself to exhaustion.

Dolly scoffed. "It's so much better than what I used to do."

"She's much healthier than when she came," Annie said.

Today would be the second fight night for Liam. He had been able to get to Jimmy's to train a few days that week, so he felt more prepared than his first.

"Jesus, aren't ye takin' some big risks here?" Annie scolded Liam.

Dolly stood by, wringing her hands.

"Isn't that what life's all about, Annie?" he said. One corner of his mouth curled into a grin.

Annie sputtered and snorted. "I don't have an answer for that, for God's sake."

"I know ye're worried," he said. "But it's a way to make quick money. And quick is what's needed at the present."

Annie made a grumbling sound and glared at him.

As usual, Liam won out. He kissed Annie and Dolly and went on his way to Flannery's. He had butterflies, but steeled himself for what he had to do to earn that quick money. As he walked around to the back of the pub through the filthy alley he clearly remembered when he'd made up his mind to take Dolly home with him forever. He was glad about his decision and it steeled him even more. He rounded the back corner of Flannery's and walked through the door.

~~~

Though they were worried about Liam, Dolly settled in for the night as best she could; she and Annie each sat in a rocker and each had a cup of hot chamomile tea.

"I was watchin' and wonderin' how many fights you've had with Liam since ye've been here," Dolly asked. "He told me how ye stepped in as a mother when he was fifteen, since his own didn't care." Dolly took a sip of her hot tea.

"Too many to count, Dolly," Annie answered. She shook her head in frustration. "He's always been headstrong but a good boy, always."

Dolly sighed and smiled to herself.

"Ye love him, do ye?" Annie asked.

"Oh, aye."

"It's not going to be easy," Annie warned her. "The Dadys, they're tough nuggets, especially the missus. And they're comin' home. Ye'd best prepare, child."

"I trust Liam, Annie."

~~~

Liam could hear the crowd inside Flannery's and felt a little queasy. He shook it off as he walked to the storage room. His senses took in the stinking heat from the bodies packed into the room. Even with the few windows open for ventilation, it was stifling. The tobacco smoke and body odor were nearly unbearable.

Jimmy and his two cohorts were already there. They looked frazzled. Perhaps they were wondering if their choice in Liam had been a wise one even though he had won his first fight last week. Liam greeted them with aloofness and mild disdain. He liked to think it kept them off balance never knowing what was coming next from their presumed ace-in-the-hole. It amused Liam greatly.

"Sure wish ye had trained more this week, Dady," Jimmy said.

"Yeah, well I had business to attend to," Liam snapped.

"What kind o'—" Jimmy stopped, seeing the ominous look in Liam's eyes. He picked up Liam's shirt. "Let me fold yer shirt and place it where it won't get soiled," he said sheepishly.

_God_ , Liam thought. _Can it get any more amusing with this eejit?_ He made sure his face did not show his amusement.

Liam's fight was up first. It was with the winner of a fight he had seen the first week before he stepped into the ring. Liam had watched the bloke's moves and he knew what he had to do. Move in fast. The bloke had danced around a lot in his other fight. This knowledge would give Liam a slight edge. His opponent didn't know a damn thing about him. He was well aware that after a few fights everyone would know his strategy. It was best to win as much money as he could before he became the one to beat.

The referee announced the first fight.

"Gentlemen, in this corner, relative newcomer Liam Dady. He's said to have had success in Londonderry and Dublin with some callin' him 'The Iron Fist.' He's the underdog in this fight."

_Jimmy, the wee eejit,_ Liam thought. M _akin' up stories about me_.

Bets were made. Jimmy and his boys put down a lot of money on Liam. The odds were in the other man's favor since he was known and therefore a sure bet.

Liam walked into the ring to booing mixed with a few claps mostly from his managers. He happened to catch Shaughnessy skulking in a corner standing with his arms folded and chin down, eyes beading in on Liam. There was a faint trace of the bruise Liam's fist had no doubt left a couple weeks ago.

The bell clanged and Liam charged in fearlessly. He started with a right hook to the other man's jaw making him lose his balance. He quickly followed with a jab to the nose and finished him off with a powerful left upper cut to the chin.

As the favorite fell backward on his arse and flopped into a heap on the filthy floor, the crowd looked shocked. Liam's knock-out was clean and easy. He didn't get a scratch other than abraded knuckles. The silence in the room was stunning.

The referee held up Liam's arm in victory and the crowd reluctantly clapped for the surprise winner. Liam heard his eejit managers yell, "The 'Iron Fist' does it again."

Liam made much more money than he thought he would but he was no fool. Not every fight would go this way. Eventually he would get battered again like he did in his first fights. At least Dolly and Annie would breathe a sigh of relief upon his return tonight.

Liam collected his winnings from Jimmy and a few men in the crowd patted him on the back. Liam reluctantly stayed for a pint with his elated managers.

When Liam made his way out the back door, he looked around for Shaughnessy. He spotted him in the same corner but got a different reaction from him than earlier in the night. Shaughnessy quickly broke eye contact in a seemingly submissive way. This pleased Liam but he gave the dangerous snake no look of satisfaction. Shaughnessy, he concluded, was by no means less treacherous. He could be seeing Liam in a whole new light not just as some eejit who once luckily got the upper hand. Liam knew he must always be vigilant.

~~~

Liam had had his first three fight nights and won a good deal of money. He hid it in the storage shed behind the house, slipping it in a crock behind some old unused dust-covered ones on a shelf so it blended right in.

"Liam," Annie fretted when he came home. Dolly was cleaning and bandaging his knuckles. "Not every fight is goin' to go like these first three. Do ye not know—"

"Annie, I'm not a giant eejit."

"Really now, it only takes a _wee_ eejit to get into this dangerous business."

Liam laughed. So did Annie.

"I'm scared for ye, too," Dolly chimed in. She tied off a strip of clean cloth around his salve-covered knuckles.

"It's not as though I'm plannin' on doin' this forever, ladies. Have some faith in me."

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Liam—" Annie said.

"I know I can't stay here forever," Liam said. "So right now, I'm savin' as much as I can from the fightin'. We'll eventually have to leave and we'll need money to do that."

"As much as I love our plans together," Dolly added, "I feel as though it's all gettin' so risky."

"And so is what you and I are doin' ... out of wedlock," Liam said. "If my mother finds out when she gets back, we'll all be out on the street in the blink of an eye. This fightin' is a quick and easy way to make as much money as possible so we can leave as fast as possible. I'm not givin' you up because things may be risky."

~~~

The next day, Annie went to her sister's for the afternoon. Liam took the opportunity to broach a much-needed-to-be-broached subject with Dolly.

"We can't ever let my parents find out about us for as long as we're here, Dee," he said, using a sweet nickname for her on occasion. "I've also decided on something that will secure our future financially, without my father's money. I need to talk about that tonight at supper with both you and Annie."

Over the last two weeks, Liam had charted out what he, Dolly, and Annie needed to do to set up a life completely free of his parents' control. Yes, he was using his father's prestige and money now but that would end in a year or two. At that point Liam could graduate from medical school which he had decided he wanted to do.

That night at supper in the cozy kitchen, Liam laid out his entire agenda.

"If I start this fall at the School for Surgeons I can be done in two years. Dolly, ye'd work here and Annie would watch over ye for me while I'm gone. That's if ye're willin', Annie. It would put your job at great risk knowing of my subterfuge."

"I'll do what I have to, Liam," Annie said. "I see ye so happy and ye're actually plannin' a future for yerself." She reached for his hand across the kitchen table. "I can't say it doesn't scare the bejesus out o' me though."

"I'm plannin' a future with Dolly—and you," he said to Annie. "I was thinkin'—if Dolly and I immigrate to America," he glanced at Dolly, whose eyes widened as he reached for her hand, "you'd be followin' us when we're settled."

"How do ye suggest I do that and with what money?" Annie asked.

"I'm makin' a killin' with this fightin' and I'll put some away in an account for ye. It'll be enough for ye to live off and then buy yer passage to New York and points beyond, to wherever we've settled."

"Jesus God, son, ye've been plannin', haven't ye?" Annie said.

Liam gave her a toothy grin.

Dolly sat dumbfounded, mouth half open. Liam reached over, put a finger under her chin, and gently pushed her mouth closed. She snapped out of her trance to playfully slap Liam's hand.

~~~

Hidden by her skirt, Dolly's knees shook as Mrs. Dady's eyes unabashedly scrutinized her entire body. "Ye are a wee thing. Well you seem to have kept up the house since you started."

Dolly stood in front of Mrs. Dady in the dining room at breakfast neatly dressed and coiffed with a starched white cap covering her head. Annie was right next to her for moral support and also because Mrs. Dady required her there, too.

Mrs. Dady addressed Dolly. "The silver's polished and there's no dust anywhere—Dolly. That is your name, isn't it, girl?" Mrs. Dady said with subtle condescension.

"Yes, mum." Dolly answered respectfully. "Thank you, mum."

Satisfied, Mrs. Dady dismissed them and thickly buttered a piece of toast. Dolly noticed that Mr. Dady was completely disengaged from what was happening. He was busy scanning the morning newspaper next to his plateful of fried eggs and sausage.

Dolly and Annie curtsied and retreated to the kitchen. As the swinging door came to a closed halt, both breathed a sigh of liberation. For several minutes, they didn't dare utter a sound as they cleaned up the pots and pans from breakfast.

The story they had given the Dadys was that Dolly was an orphaned girl from Londonderry, living with poor relations. Ever since her grandmother had died and no longer needed to care for her, Dolly was looking for employment. One of Annie's friends knew of her and highly recommended Dolly. Annie said privately that Mrs. Dady was lazy enough not to check further.

~~~

A short time after the women left for the kitchen, Liam entered the dining room for breakfast in a coat, vest, and tie, shaved, and hair combed. He had hid as his mother interviewed Dolly. He sat down at the place setting Annie had put on the table as per his request. His plan was in full swing.

"Good morning, Mother. Good morning, Father," Liam said politely.

His father looked up from his newspaper, peering over his bifocals. "I wondered who the place setting was for," he said.

"I've done quite an amount of thinking since you've been gone," Liam said. "I'm announcing to you that I've applied to and been accepted at the Royal School for Surgeons in Edinburgh, having passed all the entrance examinations with distinction. I'm starting in the fall." He was using his best and most proper grammar. He had adopted the working-class way of speaking over the years.

"I know where the school is," Father said. "I suppose you want funding. I'm happy to give it to you if you are willing to work as a company physician when you earn your degree."

"I am in agreement, Father." It was a lie.

"What's this change all about, then?"

Liam knew his father wanted him to grovel. He kept a straight face. "I realize I need to do something other than wander aimlessly as I have been. I know you and Mother would be happy to have your son become a doctor."

His parents remained aloof but seemed adequately convinced that their son finally had come to his senses.

Father made brief eye contact with his son. "All right then. Give me the bill and I'll have my accountant send the school the fees for this year. You'll need an expense account set up for room, board, and texts." He spoke evenly. "Set that up today and I'll have the bank manager put in an appropriate amount. I'll send him a note from work this morning. You may go to the bank after dinner."

"Thank you, Father," Liam said with gratitude. He put some sausages and an egg on his plate and poured a cup of coffee. He ate heartily as he watched his parents sit in their own little worlds. He smiled inside as his plan for his emancipation began to move forward quite rapidly.

### Chapter 10

Eva and her family got ready to travel the three hours by wagon to Rauma for _juhannus_. The Mattsons had gone on ahead separately so Eva's parents could have this wagon to leave earlier to get Pappa home. She had cried in the night about how it ended with Eino and wondered if it wasn't her fault that he was drinking and so angry. Her remorse weighed on her like a granite boulder that morning as she put the chairs, benches, food, and other belongings in the back of the wagon. She went into the house to see if everyone was ready.

"Eva," her mother said, "you seem sad this morning."

She grasped her mother's arm to escort her out the front door. "It's just that everything's gone wrong with Eino. He and Victor had a fight and I'm just sad he's angry with me. He's left the farm. I guess he liked me, too." _Not liked me, he outright loved me._ "Now, I'm with Victor." She continued to walk her mother out to the wagon.

Mamma sighed. "He needs to learn to cope with that disappointment but it looks as though he is not. I feel bad saying it, but maybe it's just as well he's left. He and his brother would be at odds, and you would be in the middle."

Eva didn't want to tell her mother she'd already been in the middle the day before. She tried to rid herself of the remorse. "I shouldn't let it ruin my good time today. And now everyone will know of my engagement." That thought made her feel a little better. She went into her mother's arms and rested her head on her shoulder and wished this whole thing had happened differently.

"Do not feel guilty, my daughter. Eino made decisions on his own. Victor is a fine choice. Be happy." She put her hand on Eva's face.

Her mother's assurances made her feel much better. She felt herself relax as she helped her mother onto the wagon.

Everyone was smartly dressed in their traditional costumes. Liisa and Aili had their picnic baskets packed with cold ham, bread and butter, smoked salmon, beet and carrot salad, and pastries for dessert. Each basket also had napkins, forks, and other accessories for a nice picnic.

On the way to town, butterflies danced in Eva's belly. She was betrothed and no one in town knew it yet. She was wondering how Olga, a long-time admirer and classmate of Victor's, would take the news.

~~~

It turned out to be a glorious, warm summer day with a soft breeze and plenty of sun for the winter-weary people of the north. The Maki family pulled up to the festival site to unload their benches, blankets, and picnic baskets. Greetings from old friends could be heard across the field. Eva jumped down from the wagon happy to be done with the slow ride. She scanned the field for Victor. She caught a glimpse of a body hurdling towards her from her right. A happy and out-of-breath Victor scooped her up, twirled her around, and kissed her passionately on the mouth. People nearby cheered but Eva could see that Pastor Salmi of the Lutheran Church hosting the festival, was not pleased.

Eva, thrilled and embarrassed at the same time, blushed hotly as she looked at the crowd around her. Eva overheard Victor's mother say to his father, "Jacob, I just saw Pastor Salmi's reaction to Victor's and Eva's greeting, the little bastard."

Victor's father smiled at his wife's protectiveness and said, "Now Maria, that's not very Christian of you."

"I'll have you know that Satan is more Christian than August Salmi." She put her hand over her mouth and giggled, turning a bright crimson.

He laughed and took her hand. Grinning, they walked from their spot in the shade of a mountain ash at the edge of the festival field. Victor and Hannes helped Eva's parents bring their things to the shady spot while Pappa Mattson drove the wagon to the spot where the horses would have shade, hay, and water.

Soon, Eva and Liisa found friends to talk to and Hannes began to pester Aili just as Eino had pestered Eva at that age. Eva had a circle of girls listening intently to her story of how she and Victor were now promised to each other. Most were happy for her but Olga Koskinen walked away from the circle of chirpy girls.

~~~

Standing near the cluster of girls, Victor watched Olga walk away. He had always known of Olga's strong feelings for him even though he had told her recently he was most definitely staying on the farm and not coming to town and that marriage was not in the future for them. He knew her love for him had made her willing to accept that arrangements to be with him would be only when he wanted. And now that he was engaged, he could no longer come around to see her. He decided to talk with her if it were at all possible, figuring he owed her an explanation. Eva was busy with her friends so he sidled over to Olga. "Olga, I am truly sorry that things didn't work out between you and me. I think you will have no trouble finding a man who wants to marry you. You are a very pretty girl and a good man will be proud to have you." Though he spoke with kindness, he adopted an air of aloofness in case Eva looked over at them. He didn't want her to see anything but friendship between him and Olga.

"Apparently, she's no longer a 'little sister' to you as you have always claimed. It's good of you to come to me and explain. Eva is lucky to have you."

Olga's expression was neutral as she spoke but he knew she was hurt by the news. Thank God she wasn't making a scene. He glanced back at Eva and she waved. He smiled at her and winked.

"Now," he said scanning the grounds, "who can we find for you, Olga?"

Olga turned to look at the crowd with him but her cheeks were burning red. He knew it bothered her that he was putting on this show for Eva. But what could Olga do? She would never go to Eva and speak of his past with her. The whole city would know that she'd been carrying on out of wedlock.

As Victor scanned the grounds he heard a gregarious familiar voice carrying over the noisy crowd. It was Vilho Hautala, the young, handsome, bachelor blacksmith. He was a grand fellow. Everyone loved Vilho. It was common knowledge he had recently begun the search for a wife to help with the house and small farm behind his blacksmith shop. But everyone knew what Vilho truly wanted was somebody to love him and have his children. A lot of children, he'd been heard to say enthusiastically.

As the big, blond, wide-shouldered Finn walked toward them, Victor leaned toward Olga. "Hmmm? What do you think? He's quite handsome, doesn't drink much, and he's looking for a pretty wife, like you."

"I don't know, Victor. I don't know him well. And I don't like the show you are putting on."

Victor ignored her dislike of his display. "Vilho and I are very good friends. He comes from a good family, he makes an excellent living, and he's looking directly at you."

"Really?" Her interest in Vilho seemed to pique as she took another look.

"What a perfect day to spend getting to know each other." Victor waved Vilho over.

He smiled at seeing his friend. "Victor, my good friend, who is this pretty girl you are talking to? I just heard you are going to marry Eva Maki." As Vilho spoke, he had his friendly eyes glued on Olga who was acting demure. He seemed immediately smitten with her.

"Hello, Vilho," Victor said. "This is a good friend of mine. May I introduce Miss Olga Koskinen? Olga, may I present Mr. Vilho Hautala?"

Olga's face was beet red, but she offered her hand to shake Vilho's. Being a dashing young Finn, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently.

"It is my pleasure, Miss Koskinen. May I offer you a cup of coffee?"

"Why of course." She smiled and tucked her hand under his proffered arm and walked off with him. She looked back at Victor, but only for a discrete moment. The message was one that only he could read. _Yes, you are marrying Eva. But you will always be mine_.

Victor was proud of the show he'd put on for Eva. Though he was quite rattled at Olga's last glance, he attempted to hide his discomfort as he watched the new couple walk away. It was the beginning of their new life together, he was sure.

As Victor stood contemplating his single-handed matchmaking, Eva walked up to him. She had a big smile on her face. "You are the best person I know," she said. "I could see that you were letting Olga down gently. And introducing her to Vilho was a very sweet thing to do."

"Not to mention for Vilho, who just snagged the prettiest girl in this town thanks to me." Victor smiled at Eva. "I did feel badly for her. She was so in love with me and I had to break her heart because I love this other girl," he prattled on.

"Oh, shut up, Mr. Ladies' Man," Eva teased and grabbed his proffered arm. "Let's go around and see everything. And I'm hungry."

"I'll have you know I am no ladies' man," he lied. "I snagged the prettiest _country_ girl and everyone knows it." He smiled and put his free hand on hers.

"Let's go, I want to show you off," Eva said giving him a sweet side-glance.

Victor felt himself relax as he saw that Eva hadn't noticed anything between him and Olga. He realized that he must have been holding his breath the whole time he'd been breaking things off with Olga. Still, he wasn't sure he had done the right thing. Olga had been his no-strings-attached plaything at his beck and call since he was sixteen.

~~~

Victor brought Eva to a coffee table covered with all kinds of desserts. They each took a small plate of cream pastries and cup of coffee and sat near the _juhannus_ bonfire. Among the growing crowd they ate convivially sitting close in their own little world almost oblivious to the chatter as people passed. Eva decided to ask him a question.

"Victor, is there something you secretly wish for? If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?"

"I don't know," he said, starting to ponder the question, "other than taking you into the bushes somewhere?" He smiled and nudged her with his leg.

"I know that is not all you think of," she said, with a mock scolding tone. "There's got to be something." She waited for him to answer taking a bite of a pastry.

"Well, for a while now, I've thought what it might be like to live in America. So many letters come to people whose family members have gone. I read newspaper articles of the many opportunities for work. I think sometimes it would be better there than here."

"You won't believe this," she said excitedly, "I think about America, too! My cousin from Helsinki has gone. He has a job as a butler in a mansion in Chicago. I told you about him. Every time we hear something from his mother, I dream of what it would be like. Although it would be very difficult to leave our families. I don't know if I could truly do it."

"Isn't that odd that neither one of us has ever talked about America together?" Victor said. "Maybe it's time we should."

"But what about the farm? Aren't you supposed to take over from your father? I love our idea of building our house at the lake. With all our new plans, going to America doesn't seem so exciting anymore."

"There's always Hannes. From the way he and Aili are acting towards each other perhaps they will marry and run the farm. He's a good worker and Father can always count on him as much as he can count on me."

"It could affect everyone we know, Victor, if we should ever go. It's a nice dream. However—"

Just then, Hannes and Aili ran up to them out of breath.

"Victor, they are taking sign-ups for the racing events," Hannes announced. "Are you going to be running?"

"Of course, I am," Victor said as he stood. "With Eva cheering me on, how can I lose a single race?"

Eva rolled her eyes as Victor extolled his virtues. He saw her reaction and grinned, proud of how he elicited such a response. Hannes and Aili took off, one following the other, with their usual glee.

"While you go sign up, I will check on my mother and father," Eva said. She stood up.

Victor bent to kiss her but just in the nick of time he saw Pastor Salmi glaring at them from across the field. He stopped himself. "Don't look now, but the Pastor is watching us. He looks evil."

"Fine," she said. "Let's just go."

They didn't even hold hands as they walked to the big mountain ash where their parents were sitting contentedly in the shade, chatting and having coffee and wine.

"Victor," his mother said, "why the furrowed brow?"

"Pastor Salmi has eye-balled me a few times this morning and I'm not pleased about it."

"Both you and your mother must not let him bother you," his father said. "We are here for a good time, and I will speak to him if this goes any further."

It wouldn't have been the first time Victor's father and Pastor Salmi had had their differences. The family rarely went to church. Not only was the church a three-hour wagon ride one-way, there were philosophical differences between his father and the Pastor. His father didn't like the intrusion Salmi and the church were making into private lives. It was none of the church's business how he raised his children, what he thought philosophically, and how many times a year he attended services.

"Just be civil and ignore the rest, Victor." He paused, raised his glass of last year's mountain ash berry wine, and took a drink. "Now, everybody, go have fun."

"I'm off to sign up," Victor said to Eva.

While the rest of the family headed away from the shade and toward the races, Eva decided to stay for the time being. Happy with the day so far, she poured a glass of _mehu_ and gazed around the field to see all the people as she sipped. Standing just inside the edge of the woods, a person caught her eye. She looked with intent. It was Eino. She lost her breath in shock and she gasped trying to gain it back. She put her glass down on the bench and looked around for Mamma Mattson and spotted her walking away with her parents. She looked back at Eino. He gazed at her for many moments, then turned, and walked further into the woods. His eyes had been so beckoning, so compelling, she found herself following him. Nothing short of Victor physically pulling her away was going to stop her from following Eino. Just before she entered the birch stand, she looked back at her family. No one seemed to have noticed her so she walked in a way. About a hundred feet in she found him waiting for her leaning against a birch, his blue eyes mesmerizing. She walked right up to him.

"Eino, I'm—"

"Sorry you slapped me? Sorry you broke my heart?"

Tears brimmed in her eyes. "Yes."

"Well, I don't forgive you. You are making a big mistake—"

"Enough Eino! You are jealous and you need to accept that I'm with Victor," she said angrily, her tears flowing.

"I don't need to accept anything. You are a foolish girl."

"And you are a foolish boy. Don't ever talk to me again. This serves only to strengthen my feelings for choosing the right ... the honorable brother. Goodbye Eino." She was hurt that he didn't accept her apology. She turned and started to walk out of the birch stand. She heard steps coming from behind. Eino grabbed her arm and spun her around, pulling her to him. He kissed her more passionately than he ever had, pulling her body into his with his hands. She found herself roused by his aggressiveness. She could feel he wanted her ... to take her. And her body wanted him. She wanted to feel his hands ripping her clothes off, his mouth on her breasts... It took all her strength not to give in. The kiss ended. Tears filled her eyes.

"I'll hate him forever for stealing you from me. The _honorable_ brother ..." he said with distain. He let her go. With an icy stare, he turned and walked further into the woods away from her.

Left standing alone, she sobbed. She knew she had to get back to everyone. When she couldn't see Eino through the trees anymore she too, left. Rage at her confusing encounter with Eino built inside her. She furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes with her fingers and forced herself to stop crying as she headed back to the festival.

~~~

When the city clock struck eleven, Eva was back and ready to watch the races. As she studied her parents and the Mattsons, no one seemed the wiser that she had seen Eino. Because it would break Mamma Mattson's heart, she would not tell her she saw him. She would not tell anyone, especially Victor. Her reaction to Eino's kiss had shocked her. She had come so close. _What if I had given myself to him right then and there?_ She spotted Victor. At that moment, she decided today would be the day of days, that she would let Victor have her. Her anger at Eino's appearance and then the stunning kiss made her feel reckless and wanton ... but it had to be with the honorable brother.

~~~

It was time to start the races. Victor waited with the runners near the starting line. Hannes was there with him. Two younger age groups ran their races to an enthusiastic crowd.

"I am next to run," Hannes announced to Victor, "and I intend to win."

"Hannes, you are looking more and more like an athlete. Do you think Aili notices?"

"I hope so. I want to give her the winner's wreath as a present." He left to line up.

The flag went down to signal the race. Hannes, red-faced, gritted his teeth with determination and flew like the wind. Victor proudly cheered his little brother on. He came in first place, and was bestowed a head-wreath made of freshly picked, woven vines.

~~~

As Hannes stood tall and described the race to his proud family watching near the start line, Aili ran up and snatched the wreath from Hannes's head. She ran into the crowd with it as though expecting Hannes to run after her. He didn't however. He looked at Victor and Eva who had joined them.

"She'll be back. You just stay right here," Victor said with understanding and kindness.

Sure enough, a minute passed and Aili came back with a slightly damaged wreath in her hand.

Eva and Victor watched as the young couple managed Aili's thoughtless treatment of Hannes.

"Hannes, I'm sorry I took your wreath," Aili said. "It meant a lot to you." Her voice softened and she got closer to him. "Here, you can have it back." She held out the nearly unraveled headpiece and realized how damaged it was. "You know, I cheered the loudest for you. It must have made you win. Do you think?"

Victor and Eva looked at each other, both showing empathy on their faces for their siblings.

Aili began to wind the wreath back together as best she could. Eva could see Hannes watch Aili's fingers work. It seemed to touch him somewhere deep inside. He took a deep breath and looked into Aili's eyes.

She smiled. "I said I cheered for you," she said again.

"You did?" He started to perk up at that good news.

Aili tried to hand the mended wreath to him.

"I want you to have it," he said. He gently pushed the wreath back toward her. "It was to be yours all along."

Aili smiled and put the mended wreath on her head, unaware that it made her look like a young bride. "Of course, I'll have it," she said. "I'll keep it on my bedpost. Thank you, Hannes. Let's go get some _mehu_. I'm thirsty."

They ran off, Hannes in the lead, and Aili happily following.

"Victor, that was the sweetest thing I ever saw," Eva said.

"I have a feeling they will end up with each other. Just like you and me."

~~~

As Eva and her family waited for the final race, Liisa, who had been with a circle of boys and girls she had known from school, church, and town, joined Mamma, Pappa, and Eva at the sidelines of the track.

"Liisa," her mother said, "I was wondering when you would come to say 'hello' to your family. Are you enjoying yourself, my dear?"

Liisa was out of breath and wide-eyed. "Yes, Mamma," she said with rosy-cheeked exuberance. "I have been talking to Yuri Popov, the Russian boy. He speaks Finnish. I think he likes me."

"No wonder you are so excited," Mamma said.

"Which one is he?" Eva asked.

"Yuri is right next to Victor at the starting line. If he can't beat Victor, I hope he comes in second."

"He's handsome. He's a little taller than Victor." Eva smiled at Liisa, who seemed to be head over heels for this tall, lean, dark-haired young man with Slavic facial features.

Liisa sighed. "He looks like a handsome Russian warrior."

Liisa and Eva's observation of Yuri was interrupted by the cheering crowd as the race began. It took no time at all for the young men to run the fifty yards to the finish line.

"Yuri won! Can you believe that?" Liisa was beside herself jumping up and down with excitement. "Victor came in second, I'm sorry, Eva."

"That's quite all right. Victor can manage coming down a few pegs once in a while."

~~~

Once the races were over and dinnertime approached, Pastor Salmi stood on the center stage to announce the charity picnic basket auction. He asked that all participating single girls or ladies come to the stage area and line up according to age starting with the youngest. There were a few girls Aili's age. She was the first one up. Of course, Hannes Mattson was the only bidder. One markka bought Aili Maki's lunch basket. When it was Liisa's turn, the handsome Russian outbid the Pastor's son to win her lunch.

And then it was Olga Koskinen's turn. Eva's eyes were drawn to the stage. She watched from the middle of the crowd. _She is so pretty_ , Eva thought. _Indeed, Olga is somebody Victor might have chosen, if he hadn't chosen me._

Eva admired Olga, with her Rauma traditional costume. The eldest daughter of a ship owner's family, she had a beautiful singing voice to go along with her striking physical features. She was tall and lean, and moved with grace and confidence. Eva felt a tinge of jealousy looking at the crowd of men watching Olga; they seemed to be looking at her more intently than before.

The Pastor asked who would start the bidding for Miss Olga's basket. A booming, bass voice shouted from the middle of the crowd.

"That is my Olga," Vilho said. "Well, she doesn't know it yet, and I won't force her." Then he addressed her directly. "But, I would very much like to have you for dinner." The crowd burst into laughter. Vilho turned bright pink from his neck to the tips of his ears. "I don't mean it that way, Miss Olga. I would very much like it if you would join me for a picnic."

Eva grinned at Vilho's antics. _That's why the men are acting differently. Vilho wants her. The men must already somehow sense that_. This reminded Eva of Victor and she felt her body rouse in contemplation of what she had planned for their private picnic later. In the meantime, Olga and Vilho continued their banter.

"Yes, Vilho," Olga said, "I would like that. But can you out-bid?" She glanced at Pastor Salmi.

"What's your bid, young man?" Pastor Salmi said.

"I have ten markkas." Looking around, Vilho seemed confident and hopeful that no one would want to try to stop him from being with Olga. The crowd showed their support for their favorite smithy and cheered.

The Pastor asked the crowd one more time, "Are there any more bids for Miss Koskinen's basket?"

Someone in the crowd yelled, "Just let him give you the ten markkas, Pastor." A huge laughter rose, and Pastor Salmi acquiesced with a forced smile. He pronounced Vilho the winner. Eva smiled at the joy coming from the city blacksmith.

Vilho walked up to Olga and respectfully offered his arm to escort her off the stage. This made Olga smile. Eva saw Olga searching the crowd as if she were trying to find someone. Eva looked back but didn't know who Olga could be looking for.

The crowd was happily pleased and showed it with their applause.

~~~

Victor was not pleased. He'd watched the whole event from the back of the crowd, where Eva would not see him. He didn't want her to see how jealous he was of a good man showering affection over a woman Victor still considered his despite his breaking off the relationship. He didn't want Eva to see his black thoughts, his eyes boring invidiously into Vilho Hautala for stepping in. He didn't want Eva to suspect anything. He had no idea how he would let Olga Koskinen go other than marrying Eva as soon as possible.

Victor managed to erase any trace of a give-away expression by the time he joined Eva taking deep breaths as he made his way to her. He scooped the startled Eva into his arms.

"I'm surprised Salmi didn't have a seizure right then and there," Victor said in forced amusement, "with everyone cheering for love."

Eva melted into his arms.

"Olga is so beautiful," Eva said. "I think you would've chosen her if you hadn't chosen me."

Victor's heart leapt into his throat but he quickly swallowed it down. "Yes, she is pretty and she's been a friend. But I never looked at her as a marriage partner. She's a city girl." He changed the subject, "Isn't it time for a picnic my chosen one?"

As they left the stage area, Victor could hear some of the crowd making comments as to Pastor Salmi's disposition.

"Salmi is steaming about things," said one man.

"We like to have fun. It's none of his damn business," said another.

"He needs to go directly to hell," said a third.

~~~

Eva had packed for their private picnic and she retrieved the bag and basket from the buckboard. She carried her quilt hidden in a canvas bag, and Victor carried the dinner basket. They walked away from the grounds planning to be alone on this beautiful summer day.

"I know of a nice place we can go," Victor announced as they walked inland.

He had taken Olga there many times and he knew no one would bother them in the secluded, wooded spot. It took just a couple of minutes to get there while Victor and Eva gave each other sweet sideward-glances and warm smiles. "This is good here, don't you think?" Victor said when they arrived in the small glade.

Eva spread the quilt in a patch of shade.

"You seem nervous," he said, studying her.

"We're so far away from home. I'm not as comfortable here."

"We can wait if you like, for home," he said, but he was hoping upon hope that Eva would let him have her in the hidden grove.

"I don't want to disappoint you."

"You will never disappoint me. You are too sweet for that," he said in a subtly charming way.

"I think I will be fine." She gave him a demure smile.

He put the basket next to the quilt and lay down on his back, hands behind his head. "Come here. It's pretty looking at the sky." He patted the quilt next to him.

She smiled and lay next to him. She took a deep breath and let it out through her nose.

Victor was nearly busting out of his trousers waiting to make love to Eva. He wanted her wildly, especially now that he was not to have Olga anymore.

The concealed spot shone in the sun, covering them with the flickering, dappled shade of the birch leaves above.

"You've been here before," Eva said.

"A long time ago," he said nonchalantly, summarily dismissing the fact. He rolled onto his side toward her, propped on his elbow, head on his hand.

"What's for dinner?" he asked. "I'm starving." He reached across her breasts for the basket, purposefully grazing them with his arm. She took a breath and turned her head to him. Victor stopped his reach for the basket.

"Hmmm?" Victor looked at her, with a lusty gaze.

In a sudden move, Eva climbed on top of Victor pulling her skirt up.

"What's this, Eva?" he asked smiling.

"I want to do ... this ... now."

He lost his breath with her vagina so close. It was only clothing that separated him from her. She began slow, deliberate movements with her hips, rubbing into his raging erection.

"Is this what I do?"

"It's very provocative." He lifted her skirt up more to see her body move in such a sexual way. "Take your bloomers off for me."

She stood and did just what he told her to do.

"Unbutton my trousers."

She squatted over him and did what he told her. His erection stood straight up, loosed from its confines. He took it in his hand.

"Look at me."

She did.

"You aren't afraid?"

"No." she whispered.

She never looked so alluring and sexual to him before. It was natural for her. She was not faking. He knew he had her now. It was going to happen. "Come right down to me. I'll go in slowly."

She did what he told her to. He guided himself into her and watched her face grimace, _not too badly._ "You have to be brave now. It will pinch a little." He went in a little more. She inhaled through her teeth at the deflowering. "You're all right," he whispered. "That's my girl," he said as he began his rhythm. "You stay still. I'll move." She looked at him. "Do you like it?" he asked.

"Yes, it rubs me like your finger."

"Pay attention to it, let it grow, let it come, like with my finger."

She closed her eyes as if she were concentrating. He could hear her moans becoming more audible. Her hips tilted with his moves. She seemed to be finding her rhythm and movement for maximum pleasure. It was bringing him closer. _I'll let her come first. I want her to really like this so she'll come back for more._ He watched their bodies locked together, moving together. Over and over, he moved as gently as he could.

She opened her eyes. "It's ... coming." She gulped for air and her hips began uncontrollably moving in out-of-synch jerks. "Oh, oh, oh ..."

Once she climaxed Victor let himself loose. He tried to keep his movements subdued so as not to hurt her. He, too, gasped to his pulses of pleasure.

Eva let him fall out of her then she collapsed on his chest.

His arms went around her. "You did it," he whispered in her hair.

"Uph," she uttered.

"It's quite the stunning thing, isn't it?"

She nodded her head. "I feel all wet down there."

"That's me, inside you."

She nuzzled him in his neck.

"Can I tell you something?"

She nodded her head again.

"Now and forever, you are mine."

She pushed up from his chest and smiled at him. "I like that."

As he lay gazing at her he truly felt a warm love for her. She'd acquiesced. She did it for him. She loved him and he was happy. He put his arms around her.

~~~

Victor cleaned her up and redressed her, speaking softly as if not wanting to break their emotional bond. Then he chirped, "Now I'm really hungry."

She watched him as he rummaged through the basket, grabbing a small chunk of cake.

"Victor?"

"Yes?"

"Did I do it right?"

"Did you have pleasure?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, blushing and smiling. "You did, too."

He smiled back. "Then you did it right." He rubbed her cheek with an index finger and leaned in to kiss her. Again, she surprised him by coming to him and sitting on his lap to be held and rocked.

As he doted on Eva he was having great difficulty keeping Olga off his mind. _I'm not so sure it was a good idea to bring Eva to the spot where I brought Olga many times. Hell, what's done is done. It must be this way now and forever. Eva must never know of my true past with Olga._

Eva opened the basket. She pulled out two big ham on rye sandwiches, containers of salmon and beet salad, hard boiled eggs, a jug of buttermilk, plates, cups, forks, and pastries for dessert.

"This is very nice Eva," he remarked, pleased. "Thank you."

"There, eat now," she offered happily.

"You are acting very much the wife," he said sweetly and watched her blush.

He ate voraciously, happy with his conquest and his burgeoning love for Eva, yet still distracted by his break with Olga. He hoped Eva wouldn't notice.

~~~

When the food was gone, they drained their cups of buttermilk and packed away the basket. The gulf breeze was blowing just right to be able to hear the music playing for the folk dancers. They stood. Eva shook out and folded the quilt, then put it back in the canvas bag.

"Too bad we can't stay longer," Victor said. He held her hips as he kissed her, starting to feel better. "I love you, Eva."

They walked back quietly in their love.

"It feels different here now," he said breaking the silence as they walked back into the crowd.

"It feels different to me, too."

"Look at the dancers. It's a waltz. Dance with me, Eva. We'll celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

"Our engagement. What else?"

The concertina, violins, and _kantale_ played a beautiful love song. Eva and Victor put their things to the side, walked up to the dance floor, and took up the three-quarter beat. They danced in each other's arms. She looked intently into his eyes as they were pulled into the collective movement of the dancers.

~~~

As the waltz came to an end so did the trance for Victor and Eva. Liisa and Yuri walked up to them as they held their embrace.

"Don't you two look like a couple," Victor quipped.

Liisa gave away her feelings with her big toothy grin and sparkling eyes. She gave Eva a look that said "I'll talk to you later."

"Let's go see the parents," Victor said. He picked up the bag and basket.

~~~

Under the mountain ash, the parents greeted the children with giggles.

"What is everyone laughing at?" Liisa asked.

"Someone just told a story and it was not for young people to hear," Pappa Mattson joked.

"Don't think we are so young anymore, you'd be surprised..." Victor stopped short deciding that perhaps too much had been said. His mother was looking at him with a half-horrified look. It was as if she were thinking _I already know but do not tell me. I am not ready to hear it from you._ Victor had seen that same look from his mother a short period ago, when he and Eva had started to become sexually active. His face flushed hot. Luckily someone else interrupted taking the focus off him. He sat down on an empty bench space next to his father trying to recover.

His father leaned in close and whispered, "Son, just make sure you are ready for the consequences and take responsibility if ... or when..." He put a hand on Victor's shoulder in a loving and supportive gesture.

Victor stared into his father's eyes, attempting a look of confidence. "Don't worry," he said. "I am." He suddenly lost some of that confidence but only for a moment.

His father studied his face. "Good then, but I still see some hesitation." He patted Victor's shoulder again, squeezed it, and got up to join the group surrounding Liisa and Yuri bringing a bottle of wine to fill glasses with.

~~~

Around five thirty in the morning, and after a long and eventful day, Victor pulled the wagon up to the Maki house and unloaded the bench, chairs, and other items. Aili and Liisa woke and headed straight inside. Eva sleepily gathered up a few items, gave Victor a goodnight smile, and promptly went indoors. As she closed the door behind her she heard the jingle of the harness and the wagon creaking away.

Eva removed her shoes and put the belongings inside the entryway bringing her bag with the quilt in it. She tiptoed to her parents' room and could see through the crack in the door that they were sound asleep. She quietly walked to the other side of the gathering room and went into her bedroom. Her sisters were already fast asleep, neither one having bothered to take their clothes off to put on a nightgown. She smiled in spite of her exhaustion and began to disrobe. She found her warm flannel nightgown from the morning before.

She pulled the quilt out of the bag and lay down on her belly hugging the blanket as if it were Victor. She breathed into it deeply hunting for his smell as she held it fast in her arms. It was still there. She drifted into sleep. Her last thought was that soon she and Victor could go to bed together every night and no one could tell them they couldn't.

### Chapter 11

It was end of August. It all had been grand and glorious for Dolly. She was out of her horrible life in the brothel. She was deeply in love with Liam. Mrs. Dady continued to be satisfied with her work and she didn't mind the physical strains of being a housekeeper. But ever since Liam told her and Annie of his plans, she had begun to dread the time when Liam would leave her behind to go to Edinburgh.

"I made quite a bit of money this summer, Dee. I'm grateful for it."

"That's grand, Liam," Dolly said. She wondered if the conversation was going to turn into one where Liam would talk about school. She hid her apprehension.

"I told my wee eejits goodbye," Liam said. "They were disappointed. I say good riddance."

She looked at him with a frown.

"I go in two weeks. Ye have to be ready."

They were in the tiny bed in the servants' quarters. It was Sunday afternoon. Annie had gone to Mass at her Catholic church, and Liam's parents were at dinner somewhere. They had just obliged each other orally since it was not a safe week. They decided it was wise to avoid pregnancy, lucky to have done it so far. Liam was tracing Dolly's breasts with his fingertip as she stretched, pleasantly drowsy from having climaxed under his highly-skillful tongue.

"Don't remind me, Liam. What am I to do when ye're gone?" She rolled into his chest and neck in need of his cuddling and holding. For the first time in weeks she felt insecure.

"Ye're goin' to have to stand on your own. I know ye can do it. Ye have it in ye."

As Dolly's anxiety increased, she pushed herself more deeply into Liam. He pulled her close and held her.

"I love ye," he said into her hair. "Do ye know that?"

She nodded, not speaking or looking up, her face still buried in his neck.

"Then, if I'm goin' to be successful and earn my degree, and you stayin' safe while I'm gone, we've got to do this." He waited a few seconds. "Hmm?" He rubbed his chin on the top of her head. Her head reluctantly nodded in the affirmative.

"I'm scared that I won't be able to bear ye gone from me."

"I'll miss ye fierce, too, Dolly. It'll be hard for me as well."

"Make love to me, Liam."

"I just did."

"Come inside me, now." She tried to sound demanding, but it wasn't quite in her.

He lifted her from his chest and looked at her. "No," he whispered. "That's the worst thing we could do and ye know it."

She tried to pout, but she broke into a sweet, alluring smile that always made Liam melt. She kissed him with passion and climbed on top of him.

Just when she thought she might get her way he stopped himself. "Stop it, Dolly. I'll not do it." He was all grins at her manipulative attempt. "But ..." He gave her his own version of an alluring look which always made her melt. "Did ye know how nice and plump ye're gettin'?" He started placing little kisses on her belly and thighs as he laid her down on her back. "May I?" he asked.

She smiled as she arched her back, pushing her breasts to his wet lips and warm tongue.

"Uhh," she breathed.

~~~

The day before Liam was to take the passenger steamer from Belfast to Glasgow, he saw that Dolly's already-rough week took a turn for the worse. He had watched her fall apart progressively over the last few days. Unbeknownst to Liam his mother had ordered Dolly to pack his steamer trunk. He was preparing to do this himself, fetching one from the attic the day before in preparation for the task. Annie had told him in the privacy of the kitchen what his mother had done. Liam knew how much his leaving weighed on Dolly's emotions. The steamer trunk incident seemed deliberate and cruel on his mother's part although he was sure she was completely unaware of his love for Dolly.

"She's the housekeeper, not a personal maid, for Christ's sake," Liam said to Annie. "I'm perfectly capable of packin' my own belongin's."

"All she could do was say 'Yes, mum,'" Annie added. "I even said I could do it because Dolly needed to clean out the hallway closet upstairs. Your mother said 'the girl' was capable of doing both."

"The girl," Liam seethed.

"Liam, do not do anythin'," Annie warned.

What he did do was to go up the back stairs to help Dolly. It was not unusual for employers to require packing be done by maids or personal assistants but Liam had always packed for himself and so did his mother—for all their trips. All of a sudden, Dolly was required to do his packing. _Does Mother suspect something_? _Anything?_ His mind was racing and his hackles were up.

He walked quietly through the upstairs hallway and knocked softly on the door so as not to startle Dolly when he entered. As he closed the door behind him she put up her hand and arm.

"Do not say anything or touch me, Liam. If I don't do this your mother will suspect somethin'." Dolly looked like she had been crying. She reached for a small stack of shirts from his dresser drawers that she had placed on the bed. "You may as well just leave so I can finish." She pointed to the door.

For the first time since they met Liam saw Dolly angry. In a way he was glad to see the spark in her. She couldn't deny her employer's orders so she was venting to him.

"I should've done it sooner," Liam whispered. "I had no idea my mother even thought about it. I'm sorry."

"Well, perhaps I needed somethin' to make me stronger."

His concern for her and the state she was in caused him great angst. He loved her so much. All he could do was to bow to her wish to leave her to his mother's callous orders. He turned to go out and as he turned to look back at her he saw her tears flow. He walked to the back stairs. In his descent, he collapsed somewhere in the middle and burst into his own tears. _What in God's name am I doin'? No! We have to keep goin'._

Supper in the kitchen that night between the three of them was subdued. But oddly it was celebratory in spite of the packing glitch and bruised feelings.

"I'm so proud of ye, lad, fer goin' off to school," Annie said. She looked like she might break into tears.

"If we stay focused on the end result this should not be as difficult as we think." Liam looked at Dolly. He hoped that the packing trauma was over, or at the very least, behind her. She wasn't making eye contact. He understood.

"Can we say our good-byes tonight?" Annie asked Liam. "I want to be quite scarce tomorrow morning as you leave. I don't care to blubber if the elders are around."

In a small, sweet voice Dolly said, "I'll write ye every night before I go to bed. Don't expect perfect spellin', though." She tried a faint smile at him. She had very little schooling as a child.

"Well, if ye're willin'," Annie said, "I'll help ye with that. I mean the words ye want to share with me."

Liam smiled at the two women as he watched them. They had become good friends over the summer.

"I'll write before I go to bed each night," Liam said, "although I have a feeling my studies will keep me busy. Even if it may be a few lines in between my work I will write to both of you."

"Tomorrow I will open a post office box so both our letters from ye don't come to the house," Annie said. "I don't want yer mother gettin' wind of anythin'."

"I'll write an obligatory note once a month to my parents that will come here," he said.

There was a nervous pause in the conversation that Annie quickly filled. "I have a special dessert for all of us," she said enthusiastically. She stood up from her chair, put the empty plates in the sink, and went to the pie safe. Liam and Dolly joined in the clean-up as they always had while Annie fetched a still-warm raisin cake—Liam's favorite.

"Oohh," Liam cooed, eyes wide. "I knew it. I smelled it earlier."

They all smiled as they forked into their pieces, having hot coffee with it. They ate cozily together.

"Before ye go to bed Liam, I have a gift for ye," Annie said. She went to a drawer in the cupboard and pulled out a small wrapped box with a well-used piece of blue ribbon tied around it.

"What's this now?" Liam asked feeling flushed a bit.

"Ye'll have to open it to find out."

He smiled softly at Annie as he quickly unwrapped the little box. "It's beautiful, Annie. A pocket watch. This will be put to very good use. Thank you."

"It was my father's. My husband had use of it. Now I'd like ye have it. I had it repaired just for this day."

"It's brilliant." He stood and pulled Annie up from her chair. Their embrace, filled with love, strengthened their bond in ways words could never describe.

"Do me proud, darlin'," Annie whispered.

~~~

That night Dolly and Liam made oral love in his bed. To Dolly it felt tender and soft. Dolly had resigned to do whatever they needed to do to eventually be together for the rest of their lives.

When they finally spoke it was almost dawn Sunday—the morning Liam was leaving. They were wrapped in each other's arms. Dolly was not going to join him when the taxi came. After the moment she would leave his room that morning she would not see him until Christmas.

"I know ye'll do your best in school, Liam," she said. "I can't believe I'll be marrying a doctor someday—oh, that's if ye do want to marry me." She flushed with embarrassment.

He smiled at her fluster. They had yet to mention marriage. Liam, propped on his elbow, reached for something under his pillow. It was a small black velvet box. "Dolly, I've loved ye since I met ye. Of course, I'll marry ye if ye were askin' just now."

She was completely taken by surprise. She sat up and curled her legs under her. "Are ye sure, Liam? Do ye really want me?" Overcome with happiness she burst into tears.

"Of course, I do. I wouldn't be askin' if I didn't," he said. He appeared to be amused at her reaction at the same time she was deeply touched.

She opened the pretty velvet box to find a fine gold chain with a gold filigree Cupid's heart attached.

"This'll remind ye every day that I love ye with all my heart and that we're promised to each other." He took the delicate necklace out of its velvety confines and got to his knees to put it around her neck.

She lifted her hair, tousled with their lovemaking while trying her best to control her overly deep breathing. When the necklace was clasped he laid it next to her heart.

"I had the chain made long enough so this gold heart would lay right on top of yours, hidden, where no one else can see it."

She let out a sigh. He pulled her to him one last time before parting. She came willingly. He asked again.

"Will ye marry me, Dolly Mahan?"

"Yes, I will marry ye, Liam Dady."

~~~

It was mid-afternoon when Dolly woke alone in her bed in the servants' quarters. She knew Liam had been gone for many hours. Tucked under the covers and feeling the void his departure created, she reached for the gold heart next to her own and held it firmly in the closed palm of her hand. She brought it to her lips and kissed it _. I vow to ye Liam that I will be strong for as long as it takes._

### Chapter 12

During the rest of June and July on the Mattson farm, the first cut of hay was finished, and a second was finished in August. Quarts and quarts of blueberries, strawberries, and cloudberries were gathered and processed into jams and _mehu_. The sheep were shorn and the fiber processed and spun, cheeses were made, the variety of grains were harvested and ground in the windmill, bagged, and shipped on their way. The vegetable gardens were harvested, and many canned goods were put up in the pantries. A few pigs were butchered, salted and smoked. Fish were caught and preserved by smoke, salt or lye. Eva was very busy, rising early and falling into bed late day after day.

Yuri Popov came during that first cutting much to the delight of Liisa and stayed for the summer. The Mattsons gave Yuri Eino's bed. He earned his room and board by working. He said he wanted to learn about farming to see how he would like it. It was obvious to Eva and the rest of them that he was in love with Liisa and that Liisa's feelings were mutual.

By early September, Yuri returned to Rauma to start courses through the university. Eva knew the day he left was difficult for Liisa. She and Eva saw him off. He promised a visit before winter set in.

"I will be back, Liisa. My heart is with you and not with my courses. Something will change soon. I promise."

Eva held Liisa as they watched Yuri ride down the lane.

~~~

Work on the cabin by the lake hit a fevered pitch. Victor knew he didn't have much time before winter set in so he spent all his spare time at the cabin. He put it out of his mind that Eva had missed her monthly. Three now? He knew because they had become very active after _juhannus_ , running off for a tryst in the lean-to or hayloft with Eva taking the lead on when and where. He was amazed at how insatiable she had become when they had a chance to be together. They even did it in his bedroom when everyone was out doing something. It made the sex that much more delicious for him with the idea of being caught doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

The first time in his bedroom it was the middle of the day. They had been standing alone in the kitchen of the farmhouse just after dinner. Mamma Mattson had gone out to the fire pit to start making a batch of squeaky cheese and everyone else had gone back to chores.

"I want you, Victor," Eva said and put her hand right on his soft penis.

"Where? Here?"

She rubbed him. "You're getting hard. Let's go do it fast in your bedroom."

"Oh my God, Eva. I can't wait any longer. I have to get inside you."

She giggled and they ran off to his room, closed the door, and scrambled to remove what clothing was necessary.

"Wait. You don't have your bloomers on."

"I know. I like to be ready for you." She lay on his bed. Knees up and spread wide, her arms splayed above her head.

"Jesus, I need to put my cock in you." He slid in. "You're so slippery." He thrust in and out madly.

Eva smiled and moaned in her pleasure. "I like it, Victor. Kiss my breasts. Is there a naughty word for making love?"

" _Vittu_." He bit her lightly. It sent her to her climax. Her hips bucked against him. He, too, climaxed.

He was happy and felt wanted with her. She was so giving and willing to do just about anything ... except oral sex. He did it to her but she was still afraid of doing it on him so she gladly spread her legs for him.

Now, the cabin's exterior walls and roof were finished. He started on the interior walls. The back door faced the lake and the _sauna_. The front entry faced the woods and the paths to both the farms were center, and off to the right.

Eva spent all her time between the Mattsons and her own family hard at work with the rest of the harvesting, the preservation of fish and meats, and storing the root vegetables in the root cellars. It all had to be done fast to prevent spoilage before processing. The majority of the cheeses, woolen products, and grains went to town with Hannes and Jacob delivering. Victor was unable to spend much time with Eva, except meeting for mid-day meal now that he was rushing to finish the cabin. Except for a bi-monthly trip to Niemi's he avoided going to town knowing Vilho and Olga had married. He refused to accept it and pushed the whole thing out of his mind.

~~~

On a rainy and chilly September morning, Eva could not budge out of bed. She was exhausted and felt like throwing up—the third morning in a row. On her way to the privy she ended up running. Not caring that it was raining Eva barely got to the privy before she heaved her guts into the pit. The smell of the privy made it worse and she heaved again feeling as if her insides were coming up. She was making enough noise to wake the dead. But as she peered teary-eyed through the cutout in the outhouse door she saw no one running to her aid. Had she eaten something spoiled? Did she have an illness? _I don't know what is happening to me,_ she thought _. I'm worried. There's still so much work to be done._

She staggered shakily into the _sauna_. _I'll splash my face and sit here for a few minutes. I think I'm done throwing up, though._

Soon, the wave of nausea passed and she was able to go back into the house. Eva discovered Liisa taking an apple pie out of the oven. She gave Eva a quizzical look.

"You look pale and tired. Are you not well?"

"I was in the _sauna_ , washing up." Eva felt the remnants of the queasiness. "I may have an upset belly, that's all. I just threw up in the outhouse."

"Maybe you should go back to bed. You have been working quite hard between the two houses without much of a break. Mamma was saying last night that you seem worn out to her which is not like you at all."

Eva loved the idea of going back to bed for a while. Her muscles ached and she felt like she had no energy at all. "Where's Mamma this morning?"

"She went with Pappa to the Niemi's for a visit. Mamma wanted to get out of the house for a day."

"If I go back to bed. No one will find out. Just wake me up in two hours."

"Aili has gone to Mattson's for you. I think she likes going because of Hannes. You can catch up later."

Feeling relieved Eva kissed Liisa and shuffled back to bed where she cuddled up in her quilt—hers and Victor's to sleep for a while more.

~~~

When she awoke much later feeling better, Eva sensed she was not alone. Somewhat startled she looked towards the rocking chair to discover Victor sitting with a foot crossed over his knee looking at her with intense, brown-eyed love and concern.

"What's going on with you?" Victor said softly. "You are never sick. You even show up with a sniffle."

Eva didn't bother to get out of bed. "I feel fine now. I just needed to sleep this morning. We have been working hard for weeks."

Victor, not missing a beat, said, "I don't think you've had your monthly cycle for three months now. I have been keeping track. Liisa told me you were puking your guts up this morning."

Eva lay wrapped in the quilt up to her chin listening.

"Why are you frowning?" Victor said.

She gave no response.

"Now, my experts say," he got a faint smile out of her with that reference, "that women who don't get their monthly and start throwing up may be with child."

She felt a storm cloud of horror cross through her mind. She threw the quilt over her head hiding from what Victor had just blurted.

"What are you saying, Victor?" she said through the quilt. She felt him sit next to her on the bed. He gently pulled the blanket away from her face.

She looked at him as fear gripped her belly. Her lower lip began to quiver and she burst into tears. He scooped her into his arms and held her, whispering loving words into her ear, rocking her as she wept. "What are we going to do?"

"Are you serious?" Victor said softly. "You don't know what we will do now?"

"Why aren't you fretting and worrying?" She sniffled.

He took his crumpled kerchief out of his pocket and wiped her nose.

"Blow," he said softly. She emptied out a clogged nose. "Don't you realize what this means? And it's not enduring the wrath of Pastor Salmi either. It means we can get married now. Not next year." His faced beamed. "Something told me to get our house done."

She blinked at him, breathless because of her stuffy nose. Still holding her he bent and gave her a passionate kiss.

"When will your parents be back?" he asked. "Liisa told me they are gone."

"I don't know. What time is it?"

"It's about two. You need some food. I don't think you've eaten anything have you? You must eat now to keep yourself and the baby healthy. We'll tell them the news when they get home. Do you think you can get coffee ready if I help?"

"I have to go to work, too. Help me get dressed."

She started to get up but he wouldn't let her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I asked Liisa to go to the farm to help there. I told her I wanted some time with you alone." He lay down next to her on the bed and started to nuzzle her. "It makes me want you knowing you are with child," he said into her neck and hair. He began to kiss her and then climbed on top of her, the quilt in between them. "Are you feeling better?"

"Maybe."

"Hmmm."

"What if my parents come home?"

"Then we better hurry. I think you want it."

She smiled. "You are so hard," she said.

He shifted as she pulled the quilt from between them. He pulled her nightgown up to her waist, spread her knees, and let out an audible breath as he pushed himself into her. He thrust ten or so times before he started groaning loudly, then climaxed. As he lay in a stupor on top of her, she finally pushed up forcefully with her hips to get his attention.

"I'm very happy that it was so enjoyable—for you," she teased.

She could barely hear his answering "Uhhh" with his face in the quilt. A line of saliva dripped out of the corner of his mouth connected to the quilt.

"Are you drooling?" she asked in hilarity, then feigning disgust and trying to shove him off her.

He laughed. "What? I just spilled myself into you and you're worried about a little drool from my mouth?"

With a laugh she pushed him completely out of the bed onto the floor. He lay in a crumpled heap holding his head where he knocked it.

"OW! My head!" He rubbed the sore spot, still laughing.

"Poor little boy," she said with little sympathy.

"You're feeling better, aren't you?"

"Can you please get me the towel over on my wash stand? I need to clean up."

"Of course, my Liege, Your Highness, Princess, Tsarina Eva." He crawled on his hands and knees to the washstand. He climbed back on the bed next to Eva, kneeling over her. He kissed her belly. "I love you," he said and started to clean her.

"And when I am clean, you can give me my pleasure, since I missed out because you were in too much of a hurry. And I love you, too," she said with a smile. She directed his head to her spread legs. Her hips rocked as he skillfully used his tongue. Her hands covered her face as she climaxed very quickly. She looked down at him. He smiled at her in a devilish way. "You make me feel good."

~~~

While Eva and Victor prepared coffee, Victor knew that he'd better get Eva married to him as soon as possible. He had heard from an acquaintance at _juhannus_ that around the time of the races, he had seen Eva go into the woods with Eino. He'd heard Eino was still around camping in the woods somewhere. _She's still in love with him. The sooner she's married to me the less of a chance there'll be to go back to him. It will be too late. I won't let him win._

~~~

It was three-thirty when Eva's parents returned from their visit. Eva and Victor had cleaned up and there was no sign of the sexual romp in Eva's bed. But there was coffee, apple pie, and _nisu_ waiting. By that time, however, the post-sex good feeling wore off and Eva had begun to worry again about telling her parents she was pregnant. Her belly began to churn.

Eva sensed that Mamma, who had grown extraordinarily sensitive to peoples' moods since her eyes started to fail, felt something right away.

"Victor," Mamma said, "it is unusual for you to be here at this time of day. Does this have anything to do with Eva's change in mood for the last few weeks? You are here to say that the wedding must be soon because Eva's with child."

Eva was taken aback at her mother's intuition and began to cry. Her father went to her and put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Pappa," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Eva, my daughter. Everything's fine. You are a good girl," he cooed.

~~~

Victor was relieved that all they needed to do now was to give the news to his parents.

It was close to supper when Eva and Victor left the tenant farm to go to the Mattsons.

"You look nervous," he said. "Don't be." He stopped and held Eva's arm gently to stop her. He looked deep into her eyes. "Are you all right?"

"I don't know," she said avoiding his gaze.

He put his fingers on her chin and gently made her look at him. He gave her a sweet supportive look. Then he kissed her. She tried to smile back but he could see his attempt hadn't helped.

A few minutes later they walked into the kitchen and said hello to Mother who was preparing supper. The three of them waited for Father whom they heard coming in from chores with Hannes. Liisa and Aili entered, too, carrying jars of the last of the pickled beets they had canned.

Victor saw Eva glance nervously at his mother who seemed to know something was amiss. Liisa give Eva a quizzical, inquiring glance but Eva's stern gaze in response told Liisa to be quiet.

"We have a full house tonight," his father said as he washed his hands and face at the kitchen sink. "I'll get wine. We could all enjoy a glass for the hard work."

With glasses in hand, Victor cleared his throat. "I have something I'd like to announce. Eva is going to have a baby and we'd like to get married as soon as possible."

Everyone looked shocked.

"How in God's name did that happen?" Hannes asked, seemingly baffled.

Father began to chuckle. Eva blushed wildly and Victor felt his face burn hot.

~~~

Eva watched the scene from several steps back. An anxious shaking began in her hands and moved to her knees. She watched Victor look at Mamma Mattson who was starting to sway. He reached out to grab her arm to keep her from toppling over. Pappa Mattson grabbed the nearest kitchen chair and they guided her into it. Liisa came forward and made her take a sip of wine. Liisa then moved to Eva and took her hand and arm in support. While her anxious shaking continued, Eva gave Liisa a glance of appreciation. Victor took his mother's hand and knelt down next to her.

" _Aiti_ ," he said, calling her the Finnish word for mother, "I take full responsibility. Do not worry. I've wanted this for a long time. You know that." As he spoke softly his mother put her hand on his cheek and looked at him with affection.

She looked over at Eva. "My dear Eva, please come over to me." She held out a motherly hand to her.

Eva came. The tears welled in her eyes. "Yes, Mamma Mattson," she said feeling uncharacteristically timid. She knelt in front of her future mother-in-law not able to make eye contact with her. The tears rolled down her cheeks.

Mamma Mattson put her hand on Eva's cheek. Her scratchy thumb wiped a few tears. "I want nothing more than my oldest boy to be happy. I know he's found happiness with you, Eva. I do love you and hold you in my heart as the daughter I never had. I thank your mother for allowing me that pleasure, the dear friend she is. It is a little sudden but none of us is surprised." She looked around at the group. "All right, now it's time to eat supper. Liisa and Aili, please join us. You worked hard today. Now I know why Eva wasn't feeling well and thank you for stepping in."

~~~

From where Eva was sitting at the large kitchen table she watched Victor and Pappa Mattson chat. It looked positive which made it confusing for her. She had an overwhelming urge to run outside and cry her eyes out. She felt like a bottle full of angry bees about to shatter. Everything had changed. She tried to eat and pay attention to the conversation. It became too overwhelming however, and soon she had lost all control. Tears rolled down her face and she wailed for all it was worth startling everyone around the table. Liisa stood to go to her but Victor moved swiftly to her. He pulled her out of her chair.

"Is she all right, Victor?" Mamma Mattson said.

"It's all right, _Aiti_. We will be back in a few minutes."

Victor supported Eva as he led her to his room and laid her on his bed.

"Eva, sweetheart, what happened? Why are you so upset?" He looked confused. "I don't understand. Everyone is fine with us."

"What don't you understand, Victor?" Eva was cross and still weeping. "We just told our parents we have been behaving recklessly and wantonly, and I see you at the end of the table beaming and having a grand time talking to your father. I feel ashamed!" She was hiccupping in between words, trying vehemently to loosen herself from his hold. "Fine for you, isn't it? You're not the one who's actually with child now, are you?" She was puffing and writhing around. "I want to hit you!"

"You need to stop, Eva. How are we to talk if you are ready to hit me?"

As he struggled with her, he started to laugh. "Stop!" he finally yelled.

She calmed down and looked directly at him. "Don't yell at me and what exactly is so funny?"

"You and your tantrum. Look at you. You have been trying to punch me this whole time. All I want to do is help." He relaxed his hold on her.

"Well, you can't help now, can you? You can't take this baby back. You can't." She was still angry but much calmer.

"I don't want to take the baby back and I forbid you to feel ashamed. You are showing me your love in a grown-up way. Never feel ashamed," he said softly and gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumb. "Your whole world has changed, hasn't it? Four months ago, you were a very young woman. And today you found out that you're a woman. Maybe you weren't quite ready for that. And that is my fault. I'm sorry Eva."

Eva responded by shedding more tears, this time silently. She blinked away her tears to see the soft brown love in his eyes that showed so much tenderness towards her. He was so natural at it, transfixing and calming her.

"I made a promise to your mother and father earlier today," Victor said, "and I want to make that promise to you right now." Tears welled in his eyes. Still holding her arms down, he leaned over her. "I love you. And I promise I will take care of you. You are not by yourself. _We_ are having this baby. Not just you. Do you understand me, Eva?"

Taking a deep and shaky breath she pulled one of her arms loose and put her hand on his cheek. "Yes." She put an arm around his neck. Both breathed a sigh as their hug lingered for a few moments more.

"What happens from now on we will take care of it together," he said and smiled faintly into her eyes. Then he took his kerchief out of his pocket and wiped her tears and made her blow her nose.

"Let's go back to our family," she said feeling much better.

### Chapter 13

With fresh and stinging wounds seared on his heart for having left Dolly behind, Liam arrived in Edinburgh to register at the Royal School for Surgeons. He had already gone to his pre-designated boarding house that morning from the train station. A sweet, elderly widow by the name of Mrs. Ferguson was the landlady. Her grown and wifeless son lived with her to help manage the six rooms of students. Liam would be sharing a room in a corner of the attic with a fellow medical student he hadn't met yet.

In small groups, the newly matriculated students got a tour of Playfair Hall, the building that had taken the place of the Old Surgeon's Hall. Playfair Hall had been built one hundred years ago. There was a library, a meeting hall, lecture room, laboratories, and a museum with a large collection of surgical and anatomical specimens. The school itself was founded in the 1500's. For the first time, Liam saw real parts of the human anatomy other than drawings in books. He was fascinated and eager to get on with his studies.

In spite of that eagerness, Liam found himself uncomfortable with being in the midst of so many people. He had been a loner growing up. He realized immediately that he would have to get used to this sudden change in his life. That morning, he didn't feel like conversing with anyone if he didn't have to. But he decided he would be cordial with anyone who approached him.

With registration and orientation complete, Liam walked back to the boarding house. The house was just off Nicolson Street, the street on which Playfair Hall was built. It would be a five-minute walk to and from the hall. Being so engrossed with his first day at school, he finally noticed that the day was cool and overcast even though it was late summer. It had just started to drizzle. He had heard a small group of new students saying that it rained a lot in Edinburgh. He took out the pocket watch that Annie had given him and realized it was dinnertime. He was suddenly famished. He thought of Dolly and Annie and hoped they were well. He missed them terribly and sighed heavily.

Upon entering the front door of his boarding house Liam was pleasantly greeted by the warmth of the rather large house and the homey fragrance of cooking and baking. As he removed his overcoat and hung it up on the massive coat tree, he could hear the amiable buzz of conversation coming from the dining room. He headed for an empty chair at the table trying to be unobtrusive, but a young gentleman his age looked up and smiled warmly. He spoke English with a heavy German accent.

"You must be my roommate," he said. "Everyone else at the table is accounted for. I'm Kurt Meyer." He stood up as introduced himself. The two shook hands.

"William Dady. Liam." Liam gave a closed, faint smile. He saw a friendly person in this quietly outgoing classmate. As Liam sat, he nodded courteously to the others as they quickly introduced themselves. Mrs. Ferguson came into the dining room with a serving plate full of warm oat bread. The cook followed behind her with a large porcelain tureen filled with piping hot lamb stew and set it in the front of Mrs. Ferguson's spot.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen." Mrs. Ferguson greeted her boarders with kindness. She was a bit flushed from being in the warm kitchen. Her gray hair, wrapped in a bun at the base of her neck, was neat except for a few strands sticking to her damp temples and neck. She took a deep breath and paused a moment after sitting. "I trust yer morning went weel." Her Scottish brogue was thick.

"Oh, aye, Mum," one of the Scottish boarders said.

The food was a lot like Annie's; delicious, homey, informal. The conversation was light. Mrs. Ferguson asked each of the twelve boarders, eating industriously around the massive dining table, where they were from. Kurt Meyer was from Munich, his father a lesser member of the aristocracy. He was the eldest of eight brothers and sisters. Besides Liam and Kurt, two were from Scotland and the rest were from England. They all seemed to be impressed that Liam's father was a vice-president at Harland and Wolff, one of the largest shipbuilding firms in the world.

"Don't let that fool ye," Liam said, his belly full. He was slowly growing more comfortable in his new surroundings. "He has money but he's quite stingy with it."

They all chortled giving Liam the impression they knew what he meant.

The students had the afternoon to unpack and settle in. Classes would start at eight o'clock the next morning. After dinner concluded Liam headed up to his third-floor room. Kurt caught him in the large foyer.

"I'll join you in a while, Liam. I'd like to smoke a pipe in the parlor."

"Take yer time. I'm only going to unpack. We'll talk more."

~~~

Upon climbing two flights of stairs, the second much narrower than the first, he entered the small room with a steep pitch in the roof. Liam saw that Kurt had put a few of his belongs on the bed to the right. It made no difference to Liam, so he took the left. There was a small coal-burning stove for their heat. Each boarder got a bed, a chair, a desk, a basin and ewer, a chest of drawers, and an electric lamp to study by. Suits and trousers were hung on hangers on wall hooks. Linens were changed weekly, baths were taken once a week, and Mrs. Ferguson provided laundry services. The boarders were able to use the front parlor in which they could study, read, play cards, or lounge by the substantial marble fireplace. Guests were welcome but no women were allowed past the main floor.

After a short while there were a few pieces of clothing left in Liam's trunk. He saw that Dolly had done a superb job of packing the things he would need. Glad to be nearly finished unpacking he reached into the trunk and found an envelope under the last of the socks. On the front was writing that looked like a child's. LIAM. It was a poignant find since at the time Dolly packed his trunk at his mother's orders, she'd been devastated at having to do it. He sat on the edge of his bed holding the envelope as if it were alive. He put it to his chest. He looked up to find Kurt looking at him in empathy.

"Is it from your girl?" Kurt asked quietly. "I can see it is still a deep wound."

Liam gave him a gentle nod.

"I found one too, in my carpetbag from my Elise. We are engaged and we will wed in two years."

"So are we," Liam said. He stopped not quite ready for full disclosure.

"I tell you what. Since I am finished why don't I leave you to your letter? I will go down to the parlor again and smoke my pipe."

"Thank you, Kurt."

When Kurt closed the door behind him Liam put the letter to his nose and breathed in deeply. He wanted to get Dolly's fragrance from the letter once again. She always smelled like clean linens, mixed with clean perspiration and Annie's cooking. He swore he could sense her as he opened the envelope with shaking hands. It was written with a pencil probably at the kitchen table. It read:

My dear Liam, I am very prod of you. I will mis yu and even tho, I do not want yu to be sad. I pramis I will work hard and kep bisy, for yu I say a prar holding yor hart in my hand. Annie neds to help me with my werds. I wil praktis. I Lov yu. Dolly.

Liam buried his face in his pillow and sobbed until he felt the relief that crying brought. _And I vow to you I will make you proud. I love you. I'll start my letters to you tonight._

Several hours later he heard the supper bell ring. He realized he had fallen asleep after finishing his unpacking. He put Dolly's letter under his pillow, straightened out his blankets, and splashed a bit of water from the ewer on his face. He took a deep breath and headed down for supper and girded himself to face the next three months.

~~~

With a daily and weekly routine evolving Liam immersed himself into his studies. He and Kurt were becoming good friends, having missed loved ones in common. The two had lectures and laboratories together. They studied in their dormitory room until they both fell asleep. Liam found time every night just after supper to jot down a few words in letters to both Dolly and Annie. He would post them on Fridays at the college mail room. Liam would not write anything too personal to Dolly so that Annie could help Dolly with her reading. As Dolly became more skilled, he would write more personal love letters. Liam wrote to Annie about this plan. She wrote back telling Liam that Dolly was a quick study and was proving to be an excellent student in reading, writing, and arithmetic. Dolly wrote that Annie was teaching her the household accounting. Liam wrote that he was very proud of Dolly and that it was grand that both he and she were learning new things. As the weeks went by he could see a major improvement in her writing. He kept her first letter in his breast pocket as his valentine from her. It was his most prized possession.

Even though the mail arrived at the boarding house daily, except for Sunday, Liam and Kurt's mail from home would always arrive on Friday. When they returned from classes at the end of the afternoon, each found a corner somewhere in the house to read their letters privately. Feeling rejuvenated from words of love and their delicious meal at the boarding house, Kurt and Liam would then head out for a couple of pints if they could afford it. Because Kurt often had more money than Liam, Kurt would buy at least one pint for Liam. Liam was loathe to accept, but Kurt always insisted.

~~~

One Friday evening at the crowded music-filled pub, both men were feeling particularly in lack of funds. Liam began to home in on an unusual conversation among their fellow students at the next table. He nudged Kurt's elbow and pointed his chin towards the group.

"I hear the professors are mumbling about not enough cadavers for anatomy. There used to be students who were willing to go out a night a week and search for new graves to access fresh bodies. But none of the new students are willing to risk it. I hear there's quite a bit of money involved."

"Do ye mind if my friend and I join ye?" Liam asked quietly, startling them.

He and Kurt moved their chairs into the group. As the students continued to talk, Liam caught the name of that particular professor.

Just a few days later, Kurt, Liam, and a student from the original conversation group were in league, ready to bring forth much-needed cadavers from the surrounding cemeteries and hospital morgues. There was plenty of money to be had. No doubt it was a very risky business legally and religiously. This endeavor had been going on for a couple of centuries at least.

Liam looked at it as a way of continuing his savings for him and Dolly. Maximum reward for minimal work. He would not write home about this.

~~~

Before Liam and his crew went out on their first cadaver retrieval, Professor Smythe, the anatomy instructor, gave them important pointers.

"Look in the obituaries in the area newspapers. The Dean Cemetery is easy. In the old days of retrieval, the robbers would leave the grave wide open. You'll have to fill it back in. It will take some time, so leave enough darkness to finish that part of the retrieval."

Smythe put Liam in touch with two different hospital-morgue attendants with whom he had business in the past.

Liam and the other two went late that night with a wagon and some canvas body bags, picked up the deceased—an old woman and a vagrant male. They took them to a special door in the back at Playfair where the school's morgue was.

"Good work, Dady," Professor Smythe said. "Here's your first night's wage to be split with your assistants."

Liam opened the envelope and found quite a bit of money. He looked at Smythe and gave him a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, Dady. It's worth that much to have the teaching 'implements' we need to train our students. We have excellent doctors and surgeons leave here to go forth and treat humanity's ills."

"We'll wait a week and go out again. Is that how we do this?" Liam asked.

"Keep your eyes on the obituaries in the newspapers for funerals and be ready at a moment's notice. Have some shovels and make sure you leave the grave as it looked so no one suspects the next day. And for heaven's sake, go canny."

Liam realized Smythe's career was at stake. The school was probably paying for and sanctioning the activity but would sacrifice Smythe and the three of them at the drop of a hat. If this became public the school would want to save face and avoid legal trouble. They would undoubtedly claim that the group was acting on its own. Liam nodded and left with his "assistants," as Smythe put it, to split the booty and to return the horse and wagon to Smythe's stable.

The three took the wagon and horse back and then stood in a tight circle at the barn door preparing to leave. Liam pulled the envelope out of his breast pocket to split the booty.

"Do ye realize if this goes wrong, we're done for?" Liam said to Kurt and Robbie. He saw their eyes grow wide at the money. "Both of ye, look at me," Liam said with a gruff voice. He wanted them to feel his unease. "This cannot be discussed outside the three of us, do ye hear?"

Both men gave Liam their solemn word to stay mum.

It was breaking dawn when Liam changed his clothes and washed and shaved for breakfast. There was no sleep to be had before classes began that morning but he did enjoy breakfast and drank copious amounts of coffee. He would find out in the coming weeks if the money was worth the risk and the sacrifice of sleep.

### Chapter 14

Neither the Mattsons nor the Makis wanted to have Pastor Salmi officiate at Eva and Victor's wedding. A second choice, a Pastor Alve, was contacted in Turku. Pastor Alve agreed to come to the farm with the promise he could have meals and a room for an overnight stay. Yuri and his father had sailed from Rauma to Turku taking Pappa Mattson with them to make the arrangements. Pastor Alve would be there in two weeks' time. He was of the Lutheran Church but not a tyrant like Salmi. The best part about it was Salmi need not find out anything until it was too late for him to try anything to ruin the wedding. There was a modicum of guilt lying over everyone for a short while but not so heavy that the thought of Salmi there on the wedding day didn't still make everyone involved feel ill.

Every day Eva would awaken to morning sickness. An enamel basin had been placed by her bedside so she wouldn't have to run to the privy. After using the basin Eva would have to sleep another hour or two. Her whole daily rhythm was suddenly changed but everyone accepted the temporary situation with love and support.

"Mamma," Eva said one morning soon after the pregnancy had been discovered. "May I wear your wedding dress on my wedding day? I've always loved it."

"I would be honored if you did, my child. We will get it out of the storage chest later this morning."

~~~

Hannes started to accompany Liisa and Aili on their chores at the Makis to make up for Eva's temporary absence. Olli helped where he could. In a rare case, Victor's mother would come to the Maki's to help keep the end-of-summer schedule smooth.

Victor carried all the rest with Father in tow instead of the other way around. Victor had suddenly taken on much more responsibility.

"Victor, you don't have to do all this," Father said.

"I am fine. It keeps me busy and not nervous about Eva and how she's feeling."

On top of everything, Victor was furiously working to finish the cabin so that he and Eva could move in right away for their wedding night. _My sweet Eva,_ he thought. _I can't wait to have you again. I want our wedding night to be here_. He was so busy in the two weeks before the wedding he hardly had time to see her. Everything was almost finished with the house. The roof was ready for the harsh winter months; the chinking, the chimney, the cook stove, and the bedroom ceramic stoves were installed and functioning. Stacks of seasoned firewood stood neatly near the back door and _sauna_.

_All we need is a bed,_ he thought _._ With his newfound knack for woodworking he decided to surprise Eva by building their bedstead himself. He would not let Eva go down to the lake let alone go into the cabin until their wedding night. He had the feather mattress already, having ordered it from the dry goods store in Rauma. He snuck it past Eva when he knew she was at the big farmhouse.

"Why can't I go to the cabin, Victor?" she said one day. "I want to put things in our house to be ready."

"I'll take them down. Just put everything in the buckboard. You stay out!" He was adamant. Eva acquiesced with no more argument. Then he gave her a passionate kiss, hopped into the buckboard, and drove back to the lake with his supplies and Eva's things. "I love you," he hollered over his shoulder grinning sweetly.

~~~

That afternoon Pappa Mattson asked Eva if she could drive a load of grains to the Niemi farm.

"It's the regular delivery time for this load and Victor is at the cabin and Hannes is at your farm. If you're feeling up to it all you have to do is drive and Niemi will unload it. I'd hate to miss this delivery."

"I can do that. It shouldn't take long and I'm feeling fine. It's just the mornings ... besides Victor won't let me go to the lake. I have nothing to do at the moment."

Pappa Mattson saw her off. She actually liked the idea of getting away from the farm. She rarely did. Her thoughts were on how her life had changed so rapidly. She was having a baby. She was so in love with Victor. He was building their homestead. She was happy she had gotten over the humiliation she initially felt when she found out she was pregnant.

Up ahead was the turn-off for the Niemi farm, making a T in the road. She saw a figure standing on the corner of the turn-off. It was Sally the eldest of the Niemi children, about four years older than Eva. She didn't dislike Sally but she was not friendly with her. Sally had always clung to Victor and condescended to the rest of the children when they were growing up. She always thought that Sally was ... not stupid, just not very smart. _I wonder what she's doing there._

As she arrived at the turn-off and steered the draft horses into the drive, Sally glared at her.

Eva managed a smile. "Hello, Sally. How are you?"

She stood from the lichen-covered boulder she was sitting on and put her arms akimbo. "Where's Victor?" Sally blurted.

"He's busy building our cabin at the lake."

"What does 'our' mean?"

"We're getting married in two weeks."

"What?"

Eva felt herself become irritated with Sally's rudeness. "He's asked me to marry him. As a matter of fact I'm with child. I'm due next March." She blanched at making the "with child" announcement but she wanted to take the wind out of this rude girl's sails. She was obviously waiting for Victor. She didn't wait for a response. She clicked her tongue and shook the reins and drove on with the load of grains.

While Mr. Niemi unloaded the grain sacks, Eva watched Sally come back down the road. A feeling of dread overcame her. _She still carries a torch for Victor. She never did like me anyway. I don't know what I'm so worried about. Victor is marrying me. He's chosen me._

Mr. Niemi thanked Eva and she drove away. Her mind was on getting back and seeing her betrothed. At the same corner across the road she saw a male figure. He seemed to be waiting for someone. As she got closer she realized it was Eino. His beard had grown out and his hair was scraggly. She nearly wet her bloomers but then became aroused in her fear at seeing him. Their last meeting hadn't gone well. When she arrived at the corner to turn right to go home, Eino walked up to the horse and stopped it. She noticed nothing in his demeanor that would suggest he felt differently than the last time she saw him. His gaze was as severe as always, cutting right to her soul.

"Have you decided to come back home?" she asked.

"No. I was hoping to somehow see you privately."

"You are not going to change my mind. What's done is done."

"I wanted to say goodbye to you. I heard talk that you ... I just can't stay anymore. If I can't have you, I can't live here. Not even in Rauma."

Eva's heart sank. She started to cry. "Where will you go?"

"I'm going to sea. I decided to travel the world. I'll never come back."

She felt a shock surge through her. "Eino ..." She put her hand out to him. Her tears blinded her.

He jumped on the buckboard and took the reins. She tucked her arm in his and held onto him for dear life. He drove away from the Niemi farm and turned onto an old timber road past an old windmill. After two or three minutes down the timber trail, he pulled up to a rudimentary camp with a lean-to built from pine boughs with a fire pit.

"Is this where you've been living?"

"Most of the time I've stayed in town at the docks. If I want to be near you this is where I come. Then I hike to the farm and watch you." He took Eva's hand and helped her off the wagon. He held her and looked into her eyes.

She felt the hurt in her own heart that she had caused him from the time she refused him.

"Will you let me say goodbye to you?"

"Yes," she said, barely audible.

He walked her to the lean-to. Even though she knew how he wanted to say goodbye to her, she knelt and crawled in anyway. She sat on the soft pine boughs that were his bed. He crawled in and sat next to her. His lips met hers and she let herself go. She felt her desire throb.

"Come to me, Eino."

He unbuttoned his trousers. He laid her back and pulled her skirts up. He climbed between her legs. She opened wide and he entered her. Her legs went around his hips, his rhythm was slow.

"I want you to remember me the way we are right now," he whispered tenderly.

Moaning and clutching him with her arms and legs she felt her love and passion match his, meeting him thrust for thrust. He kept his eyes on hers, mesmerizing her, speaking without words of his love for her. His eyes were nearly closed when he fell over the edge breathing heavily in her ear, his whiskers raspy on her cheek. She heard herself cry out in her climax. It was her strongest one yet. He held her for moments, both hidden in each other's neck. He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes again. His tears began to fall onto her face. He tried to blink them away.

"I want to remember you in this very moment forever," he said. "I'll never love another like I've loved you, Eva."

Eva felt a painful ball in her throat. Tears fell from the corner of her eyes. She was unable to speak. She could barely breathe. She pulled him back to her to hold him.

After a time, he sat up. She did too, and pulled her skirts back into place. She felt him drip down her inner thighs.

His gaze remained on her, studying her as he buttoned himself back in. "It's true you loved me. Don't deny it." He gazed at her for many moments. "What if I did come back, Eva?"

She continued to cry. "You can't come back. It's too late. I'm having Victor's baby now. We're getting married. Don't come back if you can't accept that."

He crawled out of the lean-to. She followed. He assisted her in standing. "Will _you_ ever be able to accept how this has turned out?" he asked her. "Because I'll never accept it."

"I'm going to have to."

He looked out into the woods perhaps to somewhere beyond, and through his nose, took a deep breath and exhaled. Then he looked back at her. "You're not Victor's. I don't care that you are having his baby or marrying him. You're mine. I loved you first." He turned to walk away.

"Eino." She grasped at him when he started to walk away. He took her hands off him gently and looked at her one more time. Then, Eino Mattson, the handsomest of the three brothers and Eva Maki's other love simply walked out of her life, leaving her with the chafe of his whiskers on her face and the memory of a single secret coupling. She could never tell anyone that it happened and ... that she was glad that it had.

Eva cried all the way home heartbroken with Eino's final departure and how much her choosing Victor had hurt him. _How did it all turn out this way? Love is not supposed to hurt, so why ..._ she couldn't bear the pain in her heart. She was grateful the horse knew his way home because she could not see the way.

She thanked God that no one was around when she drove the buckboard into the yard and left it for one of the Mattsons to tend to. She walked home and without being seen she went into the _sauna_ and thoroughly washed Eino Mattson away.

~~~

For the next two days, she grieved his parting. Mamma called her back in when she was on her way out the door to do evening chores in the middle of it all.

"No one is here. We are alone. Tell me what you are so sad about," she implored her.

"Mamma, if I tell you, you mustn't tell anyone, not even Mamma Mattson. It would hurt her terribly."

"What is it?"

She hesitated but she knew she must tell her something. She was carrying on so melodramatically. "I saw Eino. He told me goodbye. He's going to sea and will never be back," she blurted. "That's why I'm crying. I feel it's my fault that he left. He loved me and I refused him. It hurt him terribly. Now he's gone. He _hates_ Victor ..." Eva could not hold back her hard grieving.

"My poor child ..." Mamma held her fast.

Eva knew Mamma would never tell anyone. She figured the rest would attribute her weepiness to early pregnancy emotions and wedding nerves. Mamma made her go to her bed and rest.

~~~

Victor had rarely thought of Olga all those weeks since _juhannus_. He hadn't seen her since then and he avoided going into town altogether other than the one time to get the mattress. Seeing Olga would just make him want her. He knew she and Vilho had married recently and they were expecting their first child next May—two months after his first child was due. The thought of Vilho Hautala living and sleeping with the first woman Victor had ever had sex with, with whom he had lost his virginity and who'd told him she loved him was too much to bear. The fact that Victor was with Eva and she was expecting and they were planning a life together, made it much easier to try to forget Olga. _Perhaps it's not ever meant to be that Olga and I would be together. Hell. I told her I didn't want to marry her. Look how it's all turned out. I can't even say in my mind that I loved Olga because I may lose my mind. It's Eva now and I love her. All Eva asks is that I love her._ He declared adamantly to himself, _it is Eva now._

That conviction didn't stop his compulsion for illicit sex altogether. The next time he made a hay delivery to Niemi's farm and the opportunity presented itself for a quick round of oral sex with Sally at the old windmill, he didn't resist. It was too great a temptation. _Eva and I are not married. When we are, I must stop with Sally and stay true to Eva._

"You must not say a thing to anyone," he warned Sally at the windmill. "If you like a tryst now and again with me and if I think you can't keep this secret right now, I will not come back to you." He glared at her.

She submitted. "I promise Victor. I want you to come back." She put her arms around his neck and kissed him goodbye.

~~~

After a few days Eva was able to recover from her chance meeting with Eino fairly well and resumed her plans with Victor with a renewed zeal. He had been able to find time to spend with her when he heard she had been melancholy.

"I'm not happy when my girl is not happy," he had said to her. "How can I help?"

They were alone in the Maki barn hay loft where he held her in his lap and spoke sweet things into her ear as a parent would to cheer a child up. And the sweet nothings quickly turned into a sweaty coupling on Eva's zealous initiation.

She lay back in the hay, hitched her skirt, and spread her knees. "Come to me, Victor. Can you see I left my bloomers off?"

"Why, yes, I can. Unbutton me so I can come inside you."

She unbuttoned him and took him out. "Oh, I want it." She wiggled her hips the way Victor said made him want her. Her arms were splayed above her head.

He laughed.

_The only way I'm going to forget Eino is if I concentrate fully on my new life with Victor. He's very good at paying attention to me while we are making love. From now on, Victor is my love and my life._ She was lying under him in a far corner where no one would easily see them. She came strongly. He was smiling and kissing her in their post-coital lethargy.

"You are my _Villi Russu_. I can tell we are going to have a very hot marriage bed."

Eva liked being called Victor's Wild Rose. She smiled and nuzzled into his neck.

~~~

Two days before the wedding while Eva was helping in the Mattson kitchen Mamma Mattson's sister Sally and her husband, Big Hannes, arrived at the farm to help out with the wedding.

"I see, sister, that you can barely function," Sally declared. "I don't blame you. Your firstborn is about to get married."

"I'm glad you are here, Sally. I'm happy Uncle Hannes is here, too."

Sally gave Eva a kiss on the cheek. "Eva, you've grown into such a beautiful young woman. It makes me feel so much older. I can't believe my eldest nephew is marrying."

"I'll get some coffee ready, Mamma Mattson, and then I have to leave for home."

It was always a reunion between the two sisters. Eva had seen it before: a raucous walk down Memory Lane. In the evenings, they would sip on ashberry wine and laugh at the funny things that happened to them many years ago. They would talk about visiting friends and chasing boys to find husbands. Of course, all of this childhood activity had been hush-hush so their parents would not know. It had not been easy living in a small city where everybody knew everybody.

~~~

There was plenty of activity the last day before the wedding. After chores, Eva and her mother and sisters gave the final touches to the wedding dress. Eva had always loved the lacy, creamy white dress and she was thrilled to be wearing it for her own special day. There was not much left to do except for ironing it carefully. All the alterations had been completed a few days before. Since Eva and her mother had such a similar shape, not much altering had to be done. There was a little to be taken out at the waist, since Eva had put on a bit of weight. The veil, which was the prize piece, was trimmed in her mother's handmade bobbin lace. It made Eva look like an angel. She decided to wear her hair half up and allow the rest to lay down one shoulder, long and wavy, with her perennial ringlets at the bottom. She knew it would make Victor melt but she kept that part to herself.

Before the ironing there was one last fitting. Eva stood before the one long mirror they had.

"Victor's going to fall over and die when he sees you," Liisa said.

They all burst into fits of laughter letting loose the nerves and excitement. Mamma tried to admonish Liisa's irreverent language but was unable.

"Let's get this dress off and ironed before we rip it," Mamma said through hiccups of laughter.

~~~

At the Mattson house the women had food preparations underway. Victor was amazed how his mother and aunt always worked so well together. The ham was cooked and the bread had been baked early that morning. Sally was making the beet salad and would make pickled cucumbers next. Maria was making rutabaga casserole and would be making the cake next.

Victor looked around the kitchen. "I didn't know the army was coming to our wedding," he said.

"Why do you say that?" Sally asked.

"I've never seen so much food."

"Your Uncle Hannes is here, he eats as much as an army would," Sally quipped.

His mother laughed then said to Sally: "Sinnikka Maki promised to bring two apple pies. And Aili and Liisa are bringing a batch of piggy cookies that they usually make at Christmas."

"Where's the cake? We don't have enough desserts," Victor said.

"It's next on the list."

He chuckled.

Before long, the Maki girls showed up minus the bride and the bride's parents to see how they could help.

Sally gushed over Liisa and Aili, "You two have grown and look so beautiful. I can't wait to see the bride tomorrow."

"She's going to look beautiful," Aili whispered in a fun, gossipy way.

They all tittered and looked to see where the men were. They hoped Victor hadn't heard.

~~~

From the kitchen window the women could see the men setting up saw horses and planks of lumber for tables and benches underneath the mountain ash tree.

"Look at them, Maria," Sally said to her sister. "I'll bet they are telling bawdy jokes and reminiscing about their prowess in their younger days to impress Victor."

"Yes. Look at little Hannes. He's as red as a beet. They must be telling dirty jokes. My husband and big Hannes are laughing. Victor is shaking his head in disgust almost laughing."

Maria and Sally hooted.

"Or," Sally said, a little more worried, "they could be telling stories about us."

The two sisters looked at each other with trepidation. Maria gasped and quickly went to the back door.

"What is so funny out there?" she asked. "What are you two telling my sons?"

"Nothing about you, my dear," her husband said as straight-faced as he could.

"Good. Let it stay that way," she warned him lightheartedly then went back in.

The men gave each other conspiratorial grins and went back to work.

~~~

On the morning of the wedding, which was to take place at one o'clock, Eva had her usual morning sickness. Still in bed, she noticed that the weather looked heavenly. The sky was crystal clear. Now the air would be crisp but promised to warm by one o'clock. Pre-wedding nerves were an unwelcome addition. Mamma let her stay in bed as long as she needed. She reminded her that by one o'clock she should be done with pregnancy illness and have only nerves to contend with. Neither family had to worry about chores for the entire weekend as Pappa Mattson had hired men to fill in for them.

Around eleven, Eva rose for her big day. She carefully assessed her physical state and decided it was fine, except for a case of a nervous belly. _What bride isn't nervous about her wedding day_ , she thought. She stared at the mirror on her dresser studying her body and face, turning this way and that. She stood sideways and put her hand on her belly. It was no longer her normal flat belly. She now felt a small, hard roundness. _I can't wait to show Victor his baby,_ she thought _._ She smiled and basked in her growing love for the baby and Victor.

She noticed that her face was puffy and she looked tired. This brought her out of the love she was just bathing in. She felt chubbier but Mamma had reassured her that this was just from being with child. _Everything is fine_ , she said to herself. She remembered the hidden meadow in the birch near the Mid-Summer Festival, the place where she and Victor thought the baby had been conceived. She remembered the emotions she felt as Victor made love to her and especially the final pleasure. It always aroused her to recollect him in his height of release. Her lower belly fluttered. She gasped. She wasn't sure if it was the baby or indigestion.

"Hello, little one. Your Mamma and Pappa are getting married today." Tears welled at her eyelashes. She blinked them off.

~~~

Eva wrapped her robe around her and passed Aili and Liisa in the kitchen. The whole room smelled breakfast-heavenly. She slipped on her clogs at the back door and headed out to the privy.

"I will be back for some of that breakfast as fast as I can," she said.

"We will be waiting," Liisa said.

As soon as she stepped outside the early autumn day dazzled her. There were a few fair-weather clouds now and behind them, a striking blue. The sun was directly overhead. Eva took a few moments to feel the warmth, closing her eyes and tilting her face up. She felt a sudden surge of bliss. _This is how I should feel on my wedding day,_ she thought. _I am not going to be nervous for the rest of the day,_ she promised herself _._ She walked to the privy, peed, and then went to the _sauna_ that had been warmed that morning to wash her hands and face. She had bathed fully yesterday. Her hair was soft, clean smelling and— _sexy, for Victor_.

Going back into the house she found Liisa and Aili laying out a breakfast for the three of them. Finnish pancakes, fried bacon and eggs, coffee, and cool _mehu_.

Delighted, Eva exclaimed, "I am so hungry. Thank you. You two are the best sisters anyone could have." She piled her plate and began to devour the crepe-thin pancakes as if she hadn't eaten in a week.

Liisa and Aili filled their plates and sat down with her.

"It's our last breakfast as maiden sisters, before you are an old married lady," Liisa said with a big grin on her face.

They sat and ate in kindred spirit, laughing at childhood memories.

"Remember the time, Eva, not that long ago," Liisa said, "when the calf ran into the bog and you had to get her out? I was thinking for a moment or two that we were going to have to rescue you, too."

Eva laughed. "I was covered in mud but the heifer was safe and sound. It ended up being a good milker, too. I'm glad we saved her."

"When you got her to the barn you were so embarrassed because Eino had come looking for you and you were smeared in mud," Liisa continued.

"He thought it was very funny," Aili chimed in. "So did I."

"I'm sad Eino is gone and I can't talk about it. I lost a good friend when he left even though he was ..."

Aili interrupted. "Do you remember, Liisa, how you and Eva used to get into scraps all the time?"

Eva thought Aili was trying to change the subject which she appreciated.

"I think I remember one in which Pappa picked me up by my jacket," Liisa said, "and Mamma did the same to you."

"You two used to fight like wildcats over Aili and who was going to take care of her," Mamma said from the bedroom. "Pappa and I had to separate you. You would scratch and bite each other."

"We were so wild," Eva said grinning. "And look at us now—the picture of decorum."

They all laughed as Mamma walked into the kitchen, saying, "You two were so close in age, the love was as strong as the conflict."

Eva looked at the clock and saw it was noon. "Oh, my! I need to get dressed."

The girls flew out of their chairs, picked up their plates, and bumped into each other as they rushed to the sink. This put them into fits of laughter and even more chaos.

"I can't even walk to my room I'm laughing so hard," Eva said breathlessly.

After the clean-up, Aili and Liisa left for the Mattson's with the pies and the piggy cookies ready to help out.

~~~

Mamma came into Eva's bedroom to help get her dress on and her hair done.

"I think I should put the dress on first and then we can fix my hair." Eva was still snorting at the calamity in the kitchen. Her nerves from the morning had continued to abate, turning into more and more excitement. She looked at her mother and could tell she had something on her mind. "What is it, Mamma?"

"Eva, I want you to know how happy Pappa and I are for you. Not everyone finds a good match to marry. You have been blessed. We all have had a blessed life here." She sat down on the bed.

"Yes, Mamma, many people are not happy. I think happiness comes from the inside no matter what is going on outside. People can be very poor but somehow they can still feel happy. I have been thinking about Eino ... I will say a prayer for him today and hope that wherever he is he is finally happy." Deep down she knew differently. He'd left home a broken man.

"I will do the same," Mamma said. "But now we think only of the happiness here, today."

Eva came back to the present. She put on her undergarments and a pair of new silk stockings. The garters were made of little silk flowers. They held the stockings up at mid-thigh. It gave her a thrill that Victor would have a wonderful time with them later. She gave a pleasurable shudder at the thought.

"What was that about?" Mamma asked of the shudder.

"I ... don't know," Eva replied feeling her face flush.

"You know, dear, on our wedding night your father had the biggest thrill with these garters and my silk stockings." She gave a sly giggle.

"Mamma! You?"

They both giggled conspiratorially.

The next item was the dress. Eva decided to step into it rather than pulling it over her head.

"The fit is good, Mamma," she said after the dress was buttoned.

Her mother moved her well used strong yet gentle hands over Eva's waist. "The fit feels perfect," she said with a satisfied smile.

"I know I look just like you did on your wedding day. Let me quickly put my hair up and then I'll comb yours. I would like to do that for you."

"Thank you, Eva. You know, it is my last time I am with my first little girl before her wedding day. It's not that long ago that I carried you. Now you are grown and ready to be a mamma yourself."

"I'm a little afraid."

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Eva."

"I want to be a good wife to Victor."

"I know you will be. He probably feels he wants to be a good husband to you."

Eva tried to change the subject to keep herself from crying. "How does my hair feel to you? Should I put it all the way up?"

"It feels beautiful. Victor will love how this part flows down over your shoulder. You should keep it the way it is." She gently fingered the ringlets at the ends.

Eva felt pleased but with that comment from her mother, the tears began to let loose. She stood up from the dresser stool and invited her mother to sit down. "It's your turn now. I'll put your hair up and you will be the beautiful Mother-of-the-bride." Eva, too, recognized this as her last time as her mother's daughter. In another hour she would be Mrs. Victor Mattson.

As Mamma sat, Eva looked at the elder's face in the mirror. She saw tears no longer held at bay. Eva's own tears began to flow freely. Neither of them spoke as Eva's comb went through Mamma's hair softly. She recognized it was the intimacy between a daughter and the woman who struggled giving birth to her.

Eva pulled back Mamma's once strawberry blond hair and wound it into a neat bun in the back, pinning it as she pulled it into itself. When she finished, she broke the spell by putting Mamma's hand up to touch what she had done.

"It looks pretty," Eva said.

Eva breathed in deeply her mother's fragrance, homey and safe.

"It feels pretty," Mamma said, letting her emotions overcome her once again.

Eva, standing behind, put her arms around her mother's strong shoulders and kissed her cheek. Mamma held on for a moment and leaned lovingly into the kiss. She remained wordless, though both women were speaking volumes to each other in that caress.

"I will forever remember this time with you, Mamma," Eva whispered into her ear.

~~~

The final touches, shoes, and veil were added. Eva was now ready to marry Victor. She stood gazing in the mirror amazed and pleased but mostly excited.

After dabbing her tears dry, Eva applied a thin layer of rouge on her lips as a last-minute thought. Eva and her mother then clasped hands and walked out of the bedroom to a waiting Father-of-the-bride.

Pappa, resplendent in his best black suit looked at Eva and was speechless.

"I look like Mamma, don't you think?" Eva said.

He nodded his head in agreement.

He escorted both of them to the one-horse carriage Pappa Mattson had insisted they use for the occasion. There was a bouquet of wild flowers tied in a silk ribbon on the seat.

"Aili and Liisa," Eva guessed, putting the flowers to her nose and breathing in the sweet fragrance of the late-summer blossoms. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a horse with two riders at the far end of the road. It was an awfully big horse. _They look like Neimi's cousins_. _Perhaps they are curious._ She climbed in the carriage and Pappa drove off while her mind was on Victor.

~~~

Everyone at the Mattson house was dressed and ready for the bride to arrive. With much-appreciated help from Aili and Liisa, the women continued to putter, fussing over the last little details of refreshments and food.

Victor, dressed in his good black suit, vest, and starched white shirt, paced anxiously in the parlor where the ceremony was to take place. Auntie Sally had placed a perfect leftover wild rose bloom she found outside on the trellis in his lapel.

"You don't need to be so nervous, Victor," Sally said supportively as she slipped the rose into his lapel. "You are a very handsome groom."

"I don't think it's nervousness so much as it is excitement, Aunt Sally," Victor said. "I feel very strange, like I'm in a dream. It doesn't feel real."

"Oh, but it is. I do know that feeling, though." She smiled and patted his lapel. She kissed his cheek, and then turned for the kitchen, leaving Victor in his dream world.

"Victor. Victor?" Victor heard his younger brother say and turned to see him dressed in his gray suit. "What is the matter with you? I've been saying your name for a whole minute. I've never seen you so ... distracted."

"I ..." Victor tried to shake himself out of his feeling unreal.

Hannes glanced at his father and Uncle Hannes with a baffled look. The two men laughed.

"Leave him alone," his father said. "He has wedding jitters. He'll be able to answer you in a couple of hours."

That remark got a laugh out of Victor's uncle, Big Hannes.

~~~

At one o'clock, the standing clock chimed and the carriage pulled up all at the same time. This created a moment of quiet chaotic frenzy inside the house while everyone moved to the parlor.

"It's time, Victor," Big Hannes said.

"Yes, it is." He felt his face heat up.

"I guess it is the bewitching hour," Little Hannes remarked wryly. This generated a titter from Aili who was standing next to him. He turned to her and looked her up and down. "You look pretty."

Aili looked pleased. "And you are very handsome," she said quietly.

Aprons were removed, hair was retouched in a mirror in the parlor, and stiff shirt collars were readjusted. Victor, now feeling mildly light-headed, took his place next to Pastor Alve who stood with his Bible at the ready. Big Hannes had his violin ready to play a wedding song when the bride walked in.

Everyone sat down in the parlor chairs. They had been pushed back against the wall to create an aisle for Eva and her father to walk down to Victor and the Pastor. There was an air of excitement as everyone held their breath for Eva to come in.

~~~

Outside, Eva and her parents stood for a moment together. Pappa requested a moment alone with his daughter before they walked in. Mamma kissed her and was quickly led to the doorstep.

Pappa, not a man to mince words, picked up Eva's hand and kissed it. "My only wish for you today is that this step you are taking will be a happy one. You deserve the best and I've always thought well of Victor. He's a good boy. I hope he knows how fortunate he is with his choice in you. You are so beautiful today and every day, Eva. You are more special to me than words can ever express." He choked on his emotion. "I am grateful beyond words at the chance to give you away on your wedding day."

Eva took his hand, brought it gently to her lips, and held it there for a moment. "Thank you, my Pappa."

They both turned, gave each other a teary smile, and walked into the closed entryway. Once there, Eva primped one more time, and then pulled down her veil, her father affectionately helping. She took a deep breath as the door opened to the great room and the violin began to play. Holding the bouquet in one hand and her father's arm with the other, Eva began to walk in.

Everyone gasped at the sight of her.

"Is that really Eva?" she heard Hannes say to Aili.

An air of enchantment filled the room. All held their breath as Eva walked to Victor. Pappa was beaming with pride, barely holding tears back.

~~~

Victor stood stunned at this angelic vision of Eva resplendent in her natural beauty. _Where has all that that been hiding?_ He'd always thought her beautiful, but this was a rapturous surprise. He could hardly stand. His pulse quickened. His heart beat hard in his chest.

Eva took her place beside him. He looked at her, ephemeral under her veil. She turned to let her father help lift it, folding it back on her head. He noticed she had the slightest bit of rouge on her cheeks and lips. _Those lips_ , he thought, _and her hair_. It flowed down her shoulder and lay over her breast. _Those breasts!_ He could see the outline of them, full and voluptuous through the silk and lace. He could still feel his knees wobble and something else start to ... he mustn't think of _that_ yet.

It took a while but both bride and groom clasped hands together and settled down to be able to listen to the wedding vows they were to repeat.

"Do you two need a minute to look at one another?" Pastor Alve suggested with a wry crook to his mouth. "You seem rapt with how the other one looks."

"I am ready, Pastor," Victor assured him, barely taking his eyes off his bride.

"Then let us begin. Dearly beloved ..."

"I, Victor Jacob, take you, Eva Elisabet ..." Victor spoke firmly and with conviction as he repeated the vows. He slid the thin, gold band on Eva's ring finger. It was his grandmother's that his mother had given to him.

"I, Eva Elisabet, take you, Victor Jacob..." Eva, too, spoke with conviction, but softly.

Victor sensed she was solely focused on him and wanted only him to hear. She held an unwavering gaze as though willing him to hear her, to really understand she was true in what she was saying.

"... I now pronounce you Man and Wife," concluded Pastor Alve.

When the ceremony was over the Pastor allowed them to kiss. The kiss was a long one. When the newlyweds emerged from their kiss, Victor saw Little Hannes blush and head toward the kitchen. Big Hannes played a love song, to which all the adults sighed in nostalgia. Eva and Victor found themselves dancing to the music while everyone stood round the room and admired the brand new married couple.

"Look at the handsome new couple," Big Hannes crowed.

"It's time to eat," said an irritated man-boy from the kitchen. Victor recognized it as Little Hannes's voice.

The spell was broken and everyone shuffled out of the house and toward the tables, covered with food and beverages. Only Eva and Victor remained standing in the middle of the parlor holding each other.

"Eva, you look stunning." Victor pushed her back slightly, holding her hands. He scanned her entire body. "I almost fell down when I saw you ... your beauty. It was all I could do to stay on my feet." He was still almost breathless.

She smiled then leaned in and kissed him. "I am seeing a man I never saw before. I've never seen you this handsome. You look like a prince. Can you believe we just did this?"

"No, I can't. The whole day has felt unreal." They both started to laugh.

"Are you happy?" she asked impulsively. "I am."

"Need you ask?" he responded, a big grin on his face.

Their spell was broken when Liisa, Aili, Little Hannes, and Aunt Sally knocked on the parlor window from the outside. They all had big, silly grins on their faces as they waved Eva and Victor to come join the party. The bride and groom laughed and went out to the cheers of the wedding party, small as it was.

~~~

Outside, Eva noticed the day was warm, sunny, and the air was filled with the fragrance of autumn. The birch trees were changing color, adding a golden hue to the vibrancy of the magnificent day. The leaves on the ground crunched under everyone's feet as they walked and moved.

The first thing Eva's new in-laws did was embrace her.

"Welcome to the family," Pappa Mattson said. "It seems all along that you have been part of the family but it's ordained by God now." He beamed and kissed her cheek again. She blushed, not used to this much overt adoration and fuss.

Mamma Mattson was smiling and teary-eyed while she took her turn hugging Eva. "I'm sorry for all the silly tears, but I'm so happy."

Pappa Mattson urged Little Hannes to hug his new sister-in-law. He turned bright pink. He got an "Aww" from the adults as he bashfully pecked Eva on the cheek.

Eva, equally bashful and crimson-faced said: "Thank you very much." She mussed up Hannes's curly hair with sisterly affection.

It was the Maki's turn to welcome Victor into their family Eva thought, during which hugs and handshakes were shared. Liisa and Aili kissed Victor on the cheek. Victor made a special effort towards Mrs. Maki, who he knew held him responsible for the out-of-wedlock pregnancy even if she didn't admit out loud.

Eva heard him whisper into her mother's ear as he hugged her, "I meant what I said a few weeks ago. I love Eva and as her husband, I will take care of her always."

She gave him a strong hug as if to say "I believe you."

Pappa Mattson poured glasses of wine for a toast.

"Let me kiss the bride," Uncle Hannes boomed. "I remember when you were such a little girl, you were afraid of me."

"Well, no wonder, "Sally said, "You are so obnoxious at times."

Everyone laughed.

"Well, I am quite fond of you now, Uncle," Eva said affectionately.

Uncle Hannes picked her up off both her feet and jovially kissed her cheek. She gave a slight squeal not expecting Big Hannes's gregarious welcome. Sally playfully admonished her big bear of a husband, and hugged Eva as well.

The wine glasses were passed. Pastor Alve joined in the toast.

Standing next to the Popov's, the Pastor said to Yuri: "I'm not at all sure what Pastor Salmi's difficulty with this family is. I am having a wonderful time."

"Here's to Eva and Victor," Pappa Mattson said raising his glass. The others followed in raising theirs. "May you always be happy and healthy. We wish you many children in your years together and we are looking forward to our grandchildren. Cheers!"

With that said, everyone tipped their glasses and drank. It had been decided not to tell the Pastor that Eva was already with child so he was blissfully unaware. Eva and Victor were slightly guilt-ridden at the deception but they knew that they would probably never see Pastor Alve again. He was leaving for Rauma with the Popovs after the meal. They would then take him to pick up a boat back to Turku the next morning. Eva knew the Mattsons planned to stuff him full and send him satisfied on his way along with the equally stuffed parents of Yuri. Yuri, on the other hand, would stay on a day or two to visit with Liisa. He would ride his own horse back to town.

~~~

As the wedding party ate, chatted, and laughed, the fathers of the newlyweds sat down together near Victor. Victor overheard his father say to Mr. Maki: "What do you think of this day, my friend?"

"I am so grateful for it, Jacob. I was beginning to think I would not live to see Eva married. I won't be here too much longer."

"I want you to rest assured that your family will always be taken care of by me and my wife for as long as is necessary. They will not go without any necessity. Your wife will always have a roof over her head and food to eat. Every comfort. We will make sure of that, my good friend."

Mr. Maki breathed a weak yet audible sigh of relief.

The two men sat companionably drinking their glasses of wine. Victor knew that the "farewell" just said between them would not be admitted consciously.

Touched deeply, Victor added, "I will do all I can as well, Mr. Maki."

~~~

The happy families waved good-bye to the Pastor and Yuri's parents. "It's the best wedding I ever officiated," he said. "The wine was excellent." He held up the bottle that was given to him as a gift.

They all wished him best of luck and a safe trip home.

On full bellies it was time to have wedding cake. There were two cakes and lots of coffee which was still being passed over in favor of the wine.

Cutting the cake together, Victor and Eva took their plates and strolled to the other side of the house for a quiet break. They could hear Uncle Hannes loudly telling a joke, then peals of laughter following.

They stopped in the shade of the house. "I want to take you, right now, Eva. It's all I have been thinking about since Pastor said, 'I now pronounce you man and wife,' "he whispered. "I almost can't stand it anymore."

Eva grinned and put her hand on his cheek. "I want you, too, but we must wait. I think they have some gifts and I have something special for you that I don't want to show you yet."

"I wonder what that is. That makes me very curious, Eva."

"Eat your cake then and let yourself calm down. I suspect you are in need of some time to lose your ... hard thing." She giggled at her brazen comment. "Would you like to be left alone?"

"Not especially. You are right, however. I am in a predicament as you suspected."

Her grin grew wider and she began to laugh silently so as not to draw attention.

"Maybe you'd better leave me because you being here is keeping it from going away."

Now they both started to laugh. Snort, actually.

"Go, Eva. I can't go back. Look at my trousers."

Both were giggling as she lifted her hem and walked back to the others.

As Victor sat on the front door stoop alone with his plate and laughing to himself, he thought he heard a horse nicker in the woods. Not close but perhaps fifty yards in. He gazed intently into the trees but didn't see anything nor did he hear it again. He shrugged his shoulder slightly, finished his cake, and let his wanting wane.

~~~

Eva and Victor were sitting on a bench chatting with the others. The day was growing late and soon they would want to get on with their wedding night. Victor watched his mother whisper to Eva's mother and then to Victor's father who called to Little Hannes. They both went to the tool shed and came out with two rather large, canvas-covered objects. Big Hannes was called in to assist with the larger one which was rolled out on a wooden dolly.

Victor's father stood by the larger object. "This gift is from the Mattson side of the family. Uncle and Aunt brought it with them from the house I grew up in. Come, lift the cover."

Victor and Eva lifted the canvas to reveal a beautiful standing clock, nearly a hundred years old and in perfect working order.

"It's beautiful," Eva said as she looked it over.

"I know exactly where it will stand in the cabin," Victor said.

"Mother, Father, thank you very much." Victor admired the hand-carved Birchwood body. "It's a beautiful wedding gift." He gave his mother a kiss and his father a hug.

Liisa and Aili handed the new married couple a paper-and-string-wrapped package. "We each made one set—one for Victor and one for Eva," Liisa said. They both sat nearby wiggling in anticipation for the gift to be completely unwrapped.

Eva worked to open the package, smiling at her two sisters as she did so. When she was finished, she pulled out two indigo wool sweaters with matching socks and hats. "Look at these, Victor. We will match, all winter. Very nice work you two, thank you. We will be warm."

Eva's father stood up from his bench to walk to the remaining larger gift. It was much shorter than the clock and had the shape of a chest or box. "Come, Eva and Victor. See what Mamma and I want to give you."

The two walked to the covered object. Eva's father helped them lift off the canvas sheet. Her mother sat close by, her hand over her mouth in anticipation.

"I recognize the cradle, Mamma," Eva said.

"It's the cradle my brothers and I were kept in. Then, I used it for all of you," Eva's mother said.

Everyone gasped at the sweet, hand-carved, wooden cradle. Eva became overwhelmed. The tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I didn't even think about a cradle yet, let alone this one," Eva said. She leaned into Victor and said for only him to hear, "this is really happening, isn't it? We're having a baby."

Hugs and kisses were exchanged. Everyone except for Little Hannes had a tear or two to wipe.

"Just you wait, Little Hannes," Aunt Sally said. "In no time at all, you will be the groom receiving just such gifts. Then you will be the one waiting for babies."

"Oh no. Not me," Little Hannes said, waving both hands in front of him. "I'm still trying to figure out how Eva and Victor are having a baby. I'm not sure I want to find out either."

Everyone roared. Little Hannes turned beet red and walked swiftly into the house. Aili blushed as well, though to a lesser extent, and then followed Hannes.

"Jacob," Big Hannes boomed wryly, "it's time you taught that boy what that appendage dangling between his legs is truly for."

~~~

After the last glass of wine was tipped back, the last coffee cup emptied, and the last piece of pie enjoyed, goodnights were sleepily exchanged. Eva and Victor took a lantern, and Uncle Hannes drove them to the cabin in the carriage. As they took the short ride in the disappearing dusk, Eva leaned on Victor's shoulder. She felt very different about how they were today compared to yesterday. Her heart skipped a beat and her belly tickled her as she realized that they were each other's now. She put her hand on his heart and felt it pound healthily in his chest. Leaning into her, he put his hand over hers, brought it to his lips and kissed it.

When they arrived at their home, Victor helped her out of the carriage.

"Thank you, Uncle Hannes," he said softly.

"Good night, newlyweds," Big Hannes said and drove off, leaving Eva and Victor.

At the front door, Victor put the lantern on the ground and opened it. Wordlessly, he scooped Eva off the ground and carried her over the threshold. He didn't put her down right away, but said, "Welcome home, Mrs. Mattson."

She looked around the cabin with its traditional central room with two rooms on either side. "It's beautiful."

He kissed her with passion and joy. As the kiss lingered, he continued into the bedroom, where a lantern had been lit earlier. He laid her down on the bedstead he had made.

She looked in amazement at the beautiful, hand-hewn bed, where a thick feather mattress fit snuggly into the box frame.

"This is what you have been doing when you wouldn't let me come in? It's your gift to me? To us?" She smiled and put her arms around his neck to kiss him. She began to feel her urgency as she looked into his eyes, burning with desire for her. She wanted to take her dress off, but all he wanted to do was to pull it up to her waist. As he did so, he saw the silk stockings and garters, mid-thigh, her high-button shoes still on.

"Oh my God," he gasped and fumbled with his trouser buttons, too flustered to have his fingers work. "Agggg!" No buttons were going to stop him, so he pulled his trousers down over his hips.

It was Eva's turn to gasp as Victor pushed joyfully into her, then after a dozen or so mad thrusts, groaned in pleasure in his finish. He rolled off and lay next to her, breathless. Without speaking, she guided his hand to her spread legs.

"You want me to rub you, or use my tongue?"

"I love your tongue."

She moaned in pleasure as Victor's mouth caressed her,

"Go ahead, Eva," Victor said, "Let it all loose. You are a married woman now. Scream if you want to."

"It's so good ..." she yelled, grinding her hips into his face and kneading her breasts until her orgasm wracked her body.

"Were the garters and stockings the surprise you had for me?" he asked later after a brief respite.

"Yes. Did you like them?"

"Couldn't you tell?"

She giggled. "I liked yelling."

"Welcome to our marriage bed, Eva Mattson."

~~~

"I don't think it's morning anymore," Victor whispered into Eva's neck.

They'd had a nearly sleepless night of lovemaking.

Victor stretched languorously watching Eva's eyes flutter open. Her expression changed from half-conscious to a sickly grimace.

"What is it?" he said with surprise and concern.

Without a word she flew out of bed naked, ran outdoors and into the outhouse. From the bedroom Victor could hear her wretch away. He followed naked out of concern. He stepped inside the privy out of the chilly fall air to aid her in whatever way he could. "I had no idea this is what you were going through every morning," he said. "I feel guilty I haven't been there for you."

"Don't worry. It goes away quicker than when it first started. Mamma says it's almost over with. You can go back to the house."

"I'm not going anywhere until you are all right." He sat down next to her on the other hole. "Mind if I pee?"

"No, go ahead."

He sat with her for the next few minutes.

She finally looked at him. "My belly doesn't feel queasy anymore." She wiped with the cloth and stood in the small outbuilding.

He stood too. They were nose to nose. "Are you sure?"

"Really, Victor, I'm all right, now. Let's go back in. I'm cold." She smiled, looking naughtily at him. "Look, I'm getting goose flesh." She held her forearm up.

"All right, let's get you back inside. I wouldn't want you to catch a sniffle." He opened the door and they both piled out, with Eva in the lead.

"I've never seen you out in the open," he said. "We've always done it with our clothes half on." He gave her a lusty blink of his eyes. Her full hips swayed from side to side. She turned slightly in his direction and looked down at his nakedness and stiffening penis. Unabashed, she let her large, firm breasts bounce and wriggle, areolas big and purple, nipples rigid. Her long, shimmering hair was completely unbound, framing her rosy face. She smiled an inviting, naughty smile. This made Victor instantly, fully erect.

"Are you giving me a show?" he asked with a big grin. "What happened to the girl that just four months ago slapped my face when I fondled her breast? Now you are parading erotically for me. You are like Venus, the Goddess of Love."

"Does it please you?" she asked. She gathered a drink of water from the rain barrel with a dipper.

"It pleases me very much, Eva." He maintained his grin. "Do I please you?"

"Very much," she said. It was her turn to grin. She served her aroused husband a drink of water.

They didn't stop for anything in the kitchen. They just continued on into the bedroom, sliding back into the damp, wedding-night sheets. She climbed on top of him.

"Are you ready for more?" he asked her.

"I am. I know you are." Her hips wiggled. "Put your hands on me."

They made love the rest of the day, altogether free in marriage to gain complete carnal knowledge of each other. They were young, in their sexual prime, and they burned for one another—hot and inextinguishable.

### Chapter 15

Annie and Dolly went to the market on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in the early mornings to get the best of vegetables, meats, and eggs. By late October, all the summer fruits and vegetables such as tomatoes, berries, and cucumbers were gone and the stored foods such as apples, carrots, onions, cabbages, turnips, and potatoes were coming into season. Imported fruits such as oranges were available at a high price, which the Dadys were willing to pay. There was an arrangement with a taxi to automatically pick up the two women at five in the morning, wait while they shopped, and then drive them home.

This particular Monday morning was cold and damp but Dolly enjoyed getting out of the house for the fresh early morning air even when it rained. She liked to get away from the confines of the house.

"You seem quite gay for this early mornin', Dolly," Annie observed. "I feel half asleep myself. What's got ye that way?"

"The letter from Liam on Friday was so sweet. I keep readin' it when I have a moment."

"Don't carry it around with ye. Mrs. Dady may see ye with it and demand ye hand it over. We're done for if she does."

"I read them in our room and keep them in a box under the bed."

"Good girl."

"It's only two more months and he'll be home."

"The letters are getting more personal now that ye can read better. Ye haven't been showin' them to me as much."

Dolly glanced at Annie, felt the heat in her cheeks, and tried to hold back a smile.

Dolly kept all of Liam's letters under her pillow at night tied in a piece of red ribbon Annie had given her. She would put them in the hidden box during the day. Liam had written in this particular letter how he longed to feel her breath on his neck as they made love in his warm bed. He craved her sweet lips on his. She blushed and giggled when he wrote that he couldn't wait to lay his head on her lovely breasts. He noted that her letters were wonderful and happy, not sad. He said it helped him not to worry about her and he could focus on his studies.

For the most part she was happy but she did have her moments of tears in the middle of the night pining for him. She did not want to tell him anything that would take him from his studies. Those were the times she held on to the gold heart and remembered her vow that she would make it through. After all, he did propose to her. Her heart fluttered and her belly tickled with excitement at the thought that they were promised. And her undying love for Liam kept her faith alive. It helped, too, that Annie took her to Mass every Sunday. She remembered a gold cross on a chain in her little box of belongings. It was her mother's. She decided to put it on her chain with the gold heart. It gave her comfort. Confession for the prostitution and the lovemaking with Liam out of wedlock put her mind at greater ease. The Priest had told her that God forgives her. She had many Hail Mary's to get through but did them all.

That morning at St. Georges Market she and Annie, who were always short on time, went to the same vendors. Carrying their own wicker baskets for the food, they soon filled them with the produce, meat, and eggs they would need for the next couple of days. The meat vendor they usually went to had a younger man instead of the kindly elderly gentleman they were used to.

"Where's Mr. Leary this mornin'?" Annie asked.

The young man was about Liam's age but had disturbing darting eyes. "My Da died all-of-a-sudden Friday night," he said. "I'm here to take his place to keep the business goin'."

It was apparent to Dolly right away that the young man's eyes were feasting on her in a most impolite way. She had seen plenty like him in her life before Liam.

"Oh, dear. My sympathies, Mr. Leary." Annie said. Dolly, too, felt a bit of shock.

"Call me Malachi," he said. He was speaking to Annie but giving Dolly a longer-than-usual look. He didn't just focus on her face. Annie glanced at Dolly, who gave Annie a fleeting glance back. Dolly didn't like Malachi Leary at all. She got plenty of stares from men wherever they went, but not like this Malachi Leary. She saw that Annie was unnerved as well. He oozed a more-than-subtle lechery.

~~~

"Remember, Annie, what I was doin' when Liam rescued me." Dolly wasted no time talking to Annie in the taxi about this smarmy Malachi character. "I read it right away, the lecherer. I'll not go near him except when I'm with you."

"Good," Annie said. "I feel better. Most young girls your age would fall for a charmer like that and get into real trouble." Annie looked out the glassed window of the carriage. As soon as they entered the cab to go home it started to rain.

Dolly smiled. "Liam's quite a charmer, ye know."

Annie smiled back. "Not at all like this Malachi."

"He's a gentleman, and always asks for my permission." Dolly blushed with embarrassment at accidentally revealing her thoughts. She had never confided in Annie about any part of her sexual relationship with Liam. They had only discussed matters of the heart.

Annie's cheeks pinked rosy as well. "He has a good heart," she said. She patted Dolly on the arm. They sat quiet for a minute.

"I know ye haven't told me a thing about what you and Liam do, Dolly, but now it's out in the open. We're all complicit now and we're playin' with dynamite. I can't tell ye what to do. Ye're of age now. Just be careful."

"Yes, Annie."

"And now, there's this Malachi Leary fellow. We have to be careful."

Dolly shifted closer and leaned on Annie. She felt Annie do the same.

### Chapter 16

Farm work and family life went on as usual. Autumn turned into winter and Eva's pregnancy advanced. She was healthy and robust and getting big at nearly seven months. A loom was added to the cabin in the late fall. They put it in the warm central room next to a sunny window. Eva enjoyed weaving and now the cabin floors did not want for runners and throw rugs adding color, vibrancy, and warmth to the cabin. Outdoors the dominant colors were whites and grays except when the sky showed a pale blue. Eva also made curtains out of hand-made bobbin lace. She developed an interest in the intricate artisanal work and spent time at Mamma's learning from both her and Mamma Mattson. She kept bright red geraniums on the windowsills in old clay pots. She knitted, and made baby clothes from soft, warm flannel.

In the evenings, Victor spent time with her as well sitting in their rockers next to the stove. Eva loved having him read to her in the lamplight from newspapers, books, and letters his and her family occasionally received from relatives and friends in America.

The question of America never came up. Eva had made it clear to Victor, in spite of him keeping the subject open, that she wanted to stay right where she was, having planned with Liisa they would have their families together. Aili, too, got into those plans.

They acquired a cat. It was Eva's from home who followed her to the lakeside cabin one day in October and decided to stay. Tupu was very good at keeping the mouse and other rodent population at a minimum. Tupu kept Eva company when Victor spent days working or had errands to run for the farm in Rauma as long as a sleigh or wagon could make the trip. Most of the time, however, it was just too cold to make the six-hour round trip. Aili and Liisa came over to visit only once a week since they were busy at home tending to their mother and sick father.

Finally, the mounds of snow and frigid air kept everybody at home. Everyone had homemade skis to get places but it was best to stay put with frigid temperatures. Also, the wolves were hungry at this time of the winter when their natural food source was scarce. It was rare to see wolves but they were spotted occasionally or heard howling in the night. So far, none had been heard near the Mattson farm that winter.

~~~

It was dark at four-thirty in the afternoon when Victor came home from helping with the livestock feeding. He usually brought several things on the sled from his mother— mostly food and dairy. It took a few minutes for him to enter the house. Eva was preparing supper at the stove and couldn't imagine what was taking him so long. She heard a constant banging and bumping in and out of the covered entry.

Finally, he opened the inner door and backed into the room carrying a wooden box.

"You look chilled to the bone," she said.

He looked at her, smiling.

"What are you bringing in, a moose carcass? It took you forever to get in here," she said dryly.

His face was windblown and red and his nose was running. He closed the door with his foot.

"It's freezing out there, and very funny, I'm not hauling a moose carcass in. My fingertips are burning cold, and I brought the sled into the entryway to keep it from getting covered from blowing snow. I had a hell of a time finding it and digging it out this morning." He brought the box to the table, set it down with a thud, and stood for a few moments. He blew out a big breath of air and shivered. "I'm glad I am home. It smells good in here. Are we having fish?"

She smiled, walked to him with her kerchief out, wiped his nose, and put her arms around him. She nuzzled his cold neck and breathed her warm breath on him to warm him up.

"Here, give me your hands." She cupped his red fingers in her hands and blew hot air into the chamber she made to warm them. "Do you need to put them in cool water?"

"No. Just keep blowing on them and let me stand by the stove."

She watched his demeanor change rapidly from cranky to comfortable.

"I always feel better when I get home to you and the house smells like home. I feel happy." He pulled out a table chair to sit.

She poured him hot coffee and set it on the table. She took the sugar bowl from the cupboard and the small pitcher of cream from the pantry. As she moved around the kitchen she began to be aware of his arousal. He always came home roused to her pregnant state.

He prepared his coffee. As he stirred, his spoon chimed on the ceramic cup. She was aware that his eyes were on her as she looked into the pot of fish soup on the far edge of the stove where it was keeping warm. She gave him a coy sideward-glance on purpose. His eyes followed her as she sliced a few pieces of sour rye bread that she'd baked earlier. She ladled some soup in a bowl for him. After she set the bowl and bread on the table, she looked into his eyes. She started to go for her own bowl but before she could get too far, he reached for her wrist and pulled her close. "Will you warm me some more?"

"How can I warm you?"

"Pull your skirt up and sit on my lap," he said in mock demand.

She happily obliged him.

"You like doing this for me, don't you?" he said.

"Yes." She gave him a strong, clear gaze.

She knew he was aware that she had taken to leaving off her bloomers as her belly grew making it more comfortable for her. It also was convenient for such occasions. He pulled himself out of his trousers and long johns and entered her. She hummed in pleasure as she steadied herself, hands on his shoulders. He pushed back her winter shift to see her swollen belly, his seed, his get, which, Eva was aware, aroused him like nothing had so far. She rocked as he steadily watched her belly until he released hard. In her climax, she collapsed into his lap and chest. She nuzzled his neck. He gently tilted her face to him with both hands, kissing her slow and long. Supper was quiet as they basked in their drowsy intimacy.

Later in the evening while they sat near the stove, Eva mended and Victor read the newspapers from the box. When he was finished, they began to chat.

"How is everyone?" she asked.

"Staying warm next to the stoves, it has been so cold. My mother and father are fine. Hannes has cabin fever and your sisters are fidgety. I went to check on them. And, your father is still staying alive. My mother thinks he is waiting for his grandchild to be born." He smiled softly and patted Eva's knee.

" _Suomi Sisu_ ," Eva said, referring to what the Finns called an inborn resolve, guts, intestinal fortitude, despite the odds and possible failure. She smiled, thinking of her father and his quiet strength. "He'll most likely succeed."

Victor smiled and nodded. After a few moments, he turned toward her. "How have you felt today? Is everything all right?" He had gotten in the habit of checking on her health and well-being. She would give him a frown if he asked too much, but he usually ignored her admonishment. Her sardonic reply to his overdone "How are yous" would be, "The same as I was an hour ago."

"Since you've asked just one other time today," she said, "I will answer that I feel bigger, but I am fine."

"What did you do all day? I smell bread."

"I had baked bread and was on my feet all morning, so I took a nap after my mid-day meal. It felt good to lie down."

"Is that normal?"

"Yes, it's not easy hauling this big belly around. Mamma said she took naps."

"I'll ask my mother when I see her tomorrow."

Eva rolled her eyes and sighed.

~~~

The next morning, Eva woke early. It was still dark and Victor was up getting ready to head to the farm and his daily chores. He would stoke the fire in the cook stove, make coffee and start a pot of oatmeal each morning. Eva lay with a heavy heart, for she was just dreaming of Eino. It was a mixed-up recollection of her last few meetings with him. The angry one and then the last where they had made love the one and only time before he left. The thing that stood out to her was his anger at her. "You foolish girl," he had said back then and then repeated in the dream. Her guilt that she had put behind her months ago suddenly washed over her that drowned her happiness in her marriage. She began to cry into her pillow. _Why did you have to come back in a dream, Eino? I've been so happy. What do I do now?_ "Victor," she called. He rushed to her from the kitchen.

"What is it?" he said with grave concern.

She reached out her arms for him.

He held her fast. "Why all the tears?"

She felt compelled to tell at least part of the truth. "I just dreamed about Eino."

He said nothing. He just held her and rocked her until the tears subsided.

~~~

As he skied in the frigid cold to the farm for the day, Victor's stomach churned at the morning's events. _It's going to take her days to get over her dream. She still harbors feelings for him. They weren't gone, just hiding. Eino will always stand in between me and Eva. She loved him ... and still does._ His jealousy billowed into a black cloud of hatred for his brother. Then he remembered it was a regular hay delivery day to the Niemi farm. The large sleigh would glide easily and hold a month's worth of hay and the very willing Sally would be waiting for him.

~~~

Coming into mid-March, the late winter temperatures were a bit milder. But to Eva in her ninth month, it felt like winter was never going to end. _When is this baby going to be born?_ She was at her wit's end.

"I forgot to tell you last night, Eva," Victor announced Saturday morning as she was preparing breakfast. "I invited everyone to _sauna_ today. You haven't seen anyone for a couple of weeks and everyone wants to know how you are doing."

"You did what?" she demanded stirring a pot of oatmeal. "Why didn't you ask me if I wanted people over? I feel like a moose—" She put the wooden spoon down on the table with a snap. She felt torn between wanting company and not wanting anyone to see her in this advanced stage, grumpy and unable to sit, stand, or lie down without discomfort.

"I hope that frown you've been wearing for the last several days doesn't permanently settle in," Victor said, his own frown forming.

"If you don't like it go back to your original bedroom." She put her fists on her hips, belly grossly protruding through her flannel nightgown.

"Why did you say that?"

"I'm not happy with this impromptu visit."

"But I've already asked them. What do you want me to do? Un-invite them? I'm in a difficult position, Eva." He sounded irritated. "If you ask me, I cannot wait another minute for this baby to be born. You are—"

She refused to wait for Victor to finish his thought and angrily waddled to the bedroom, slamming the door after her. Although she yelled "Shut up!" she realized that this was probably incomprehensible to him.

Curious as to why Victor didn't follow her in to cajole her like he usually did, she cracked the door to see what he was doing. She watched him lean on the nearest windowsill with fists clenched, breathing slowly the way people do to maintain composure. He stretched his neck back and forth. She could see that these last few weeks with her had been harder on him than she realized.

"I want this baby to be born and my sweet Eva to come back to me," he murmured.

Full of remorse, she tiptoed out of the bedroom and moved towards him.

He looked up. She put on her best little-girl-sorry look, not to try to manipulate him, but to make him feel better. Their eyes met and stayed fixed on each other. He tried to maintain his cross frown but was unable. He huffed at her through his nose as she came to him. She gently started to massage his neck, which always made him melt whenever she did. As she pulled his indigo blue sweater up from behind, she found bare skin white from the winter and kissed his strong, muscular back. The kisses tickled him, making him snort and turn around quickly to stop the tease. He folded her in his long, toned arms. Her big belly was in the way so she turned to the side.

"We have lots of bread and cold ham. I have some korpu for coffee. Let's offer them a sandwich, coffee, and beer. It will be fine." She spoke softly and apologetically.

"I have a feeling they'll bring a lot of food with them. You know our mothers." He kissed her head. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you first. I should have. It's been a long winter and it is mild enough for people to come out. You've been so cooped up and isolated, I just thought—" His voice trailed off. She put her hand on his cheek to quiet him.

"Thank you for thinking of me. I really don't mind that they are coming. Maybe I felt like giving you a hard time." She looked up at him. "It's in my nature, you realize, and you are such a good target."

He pulled her closer, seemingly careful not to squeeze too hard, "Yes, well sometimes I feel a little too targeted, so could you have some mercy on me occasionally? Otherwise, I just may move _you_ back to your parents' house." He kissed the top of her head.

"Don't try to fool me with that one. I know for a fact that you love being married to me, Victor Mattson. Plus, you can't make me do what I don't want to do." She pretended smugness.

"Shut up, _Villi Ruusu_ and let me kiss that look off your face," Victor said, covering her face with kisses. They both started to giggle.

~~~

The _sauna_ day visit turned out to be rather pleasant for Eva. Victor was right. She had been isolated with the weather especially so near her delivery time. It was seven o'clock by the time everyone left. She and Victor cleaned up and started to get ready for bed.

She trudged and shuffled to the bedroom supporting her back with both hands. It felt weak to her.

"Is your back hurting you?" he asked, seemingly worried.

"I don't think any more than usual." She wasn't telling the truth. Her back was hurting a lot for most of the afternoon and she had been feeling great pressure down below. It made her very frightened so in her own mind she minimized the obvious physical changes of the last twenty-four hours. "I am very tired though. Liisa helped me to the privy before she left, so I'm going to bed. I really need to sleep." She avoided telling Victor that she had lost the mucus plug in the privy. _He would just be annoyingly over-attentive,_ she thought. And she was in no mood for that.

When he came to bed a little later, he put some wood in the porcelain stove in the bedroom, and then slid into bed next to her.

She stirred and woke. "Why are you so cold?" she murmured.

"I just went to the privy. It's started to snow quite heavily. It's blowing strongly. The snow is horizontal."

_I hope I don't have the baby tonight_ , she thought. As she drifted into sleep wrapped in Victor's arms she still felt the growing pressure, her whole belly cramping on and off.

~~~

Eva woke some time later. It was still dark. The flying heavy snowfall glowed white, casting a pale light in the room. The wind howled through the trees and around the cabin, making her glad she was not out in it. She could feel movement behind her on the bed. Victor was restless. As she became more conscious it became clear just how restless he was. She could feel his erection poking her right buttock. She turned slightly towards him, feeling both annoyed and amused.

"I was hoping you would wake up," he said.

"I thought you were poking me with a small piece of kindling. I guess I was mistaken," she said.

"What would I be doing in bed with firewood?" he asked wryly.

"Do you want something, Victor?" She was almost loath to ask.

"What I have been really dreaming about is if you were suddenly ready to—"

Eva knew exactly what he wanted. He'd been obliging her orally for quite some time now but she had not had the nerve to oblige him. _Wouldn't it be a surprise if I did it right now?_ she thought. She heaved herself onto her hands and knees while tolerating the continuing low back pain and the few mild contractions. She pushed the covers aside and crawled to him as best she could.

As she put her warm, wet mouth on him he cried out. "Oh! My God, Eva! Are you sure you want to do this now?"

"You want me to stop?"

"No!" He moaned and breathed in pleasure. "Your teeth ..."

"Then lay back. I hope I do it right."

She could tell that he was in complete undeniable bliss. He moaned and groaned in a crescendo as her mouth did its ministrations.

"Like a peppermint stick?" she asked briefly.

"It's just like ..."

She started again.

"Oh my God ... It's so good ... ahh ... ahh ..." He growled, then yelled, "Ahhh!"

His hips bucked wildly in his climax.

When it was done, she lumbered back to her sleeping position and plopped down next to him. He lay in an obvious joy-filled heap, legs and knees spread apart.

"Did you swall—" he seemed too taken to finish his thought.

"Swallow? Yes. It's rather bitter. Are you all right or do I need to get you a drink of water?" She smiled in the dark pleased that she had left him in such a breathless stupor. "I don't think you can get up at the moment, can you?"

He mumbled incoherently again. This made her giggle.

She pulled the covers over both of them. Then he reached under her nightgown and proceeded to pleasure her in return. She spread for him and rubbed her belly, constricted with another contraction. Her noises that came with it were obviously mistaken on Victor's part for her pleasure sounds. He knew exactly where the right spot to rub was.

"You make me feel good." She soon climaxed. Victor kissed her. She was fully aware of the orgasm's effect on her womb. It clutched with intensity, finally letting go.

Victor had dozed off. Several minutes later, Eva's grunts and sharp exhales from the next contraction didn't wake him. The antique standing clock in the parlor struck four.

~~~

Victor woke at six-thirty. He was still in his delighted mood from the oral sex he had received from Eva only hours before. He thought he'd get the fires going in the kitchen and bedroom. He moved quietly, easily rekindling the bedroom fire, having plenty of embers to throw kindling on. He stopped to gaze at Eva as she slept. She was beautiful and hugely pregnant. He noticed a frown though. He began to feel aroused. _I can't ask her again,_ he thought _. I don't think she slept well last night and I didn't help. I must thank her later for what she did for me. It felt amazing. I'll go make coffee and get a little breakfast going._

Before he started the coffee, he went to the kitchen and relieved himself of his erection. He discovered over the last several months that it was impossible to let an erection wane on its own. He felt compelled every time to have the orgasm. His masturbation left him in a euphoric mood.

As he made a small breakfast, he began to sing a bawdy sailor song.

"Victor," Eva called from the bedroom. "What has you in such a fine mood this morning?"

He stuck his head around the doorjamb with the silliest, toothy grin he could muster. She began to laugh. As she did so, he began to sing his bawdy sailor song at an even louder volume.

"Victor," she said in a volume matching his.

He ended his song. "Some fairy girl visited me last night while you slept and the most wonderful thing happened."

As he joked with her he noticed something odd in her face. She wasn't paying attention to him and her laughing stopped. Her attention seemed inward now. She rolled from her side to her back, and her hands went to her belly. Her gaze came back to him filled with concern. "Ooooohhh," she groaned rubbing her belly. Her knees came up. She rolled back to her side.

"What is it?" He joined her concern. "Is the baby coming?" he said quietly, growing nervous.

"I think so. What will we do?" Her voice got higher.

"Well, I don't think anyone is going to be able to make it here any time soon." He stood looking out at the bleak solid white through the bedroom window. The late winter snowstorm was still raging and he couldn't even see the lake fifty feet away. "I refuse to leave you if you are in labor. So, unless somebody happens to come, you and I are on our own."

Her reaction was to hyperventilate.

"You can't panic. It will serve nothing. I'm here with you."

"All right then. You are right. We will do what we have to do. Your mother and mine told me what will happen so I have a good idea of what is in store." She pushed the blankets aside and got up. She had kept some old quilts in the storage chest and got them out. She stripped the bed and covered the mattress with the old quilts. Victor made sure there was enough firewood nearby to keep the heat in the bedroom.

"I lost the plug yesterday," she said.

"You what?" he said with incredulity as they worked together. "Why didn't you tell me the plug came out?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to hover."

"Hover? I'm your husband. It's what I'm supposed to do." He was still upset.

"Don't remind me." She kissed him. "I need to go to the privy. Can you go with me?"

When they returned from the privy, she stopped in the pantry to get a jar of _mehu_.

"I'm thirsty and this makes me happy. It smells like summer," she said.

"Do you think you should eat something?" He took the juice jar from her and opened the mason top, then fetched a glass.

"I'm not hungry. I probably will be when I'm done. Mamma said she ate like a pig after each of us was born."

They both chuckled but that was short lived. Nerves re-emerged.

"I don't think I should go back outside to the privy. We will use a chamber pot from now on," she said.

"Are you cold? Should I put more wood on the fire?"

"I think I am all right."

Back in the bedroom, she put on an old flannel nightgown, wrapped herself in a shawl, and sat down in the wooden rocker. Victor put the _mehu_ and glass on a side table. He saw her bare feet and fetched her slipper socks. He knelt down to put them on her.

"Victor, stop fussing—" she started to complain.

"Shut up. I'll fuss if I want. You are going to have my child. This is serious."

"Well then why don't you pour me some _mehu_?"

He went to the kitchen and came back with a cup.

"There's already a glass on the table."

"Don't point out what I'm doing wrong," he said as he poured from the jar.

"If you promise to stop being angry."

"Here is your _mehu_. I need to have a quick meal. Call me if something happens. Do not keep me from anything. Do you hear me, Eva?"

"Yes, I hear you. I promise." She drank from her glass. "I'm scared now."

~~~

His bawdy sailor song long-forgotten, Victor took Eva's advice to do as much as they needed to for preparation. Luckily, they had gotten much done beforehand at the advice of both their mothers and fathers.

After a few minutes he returned from his quick breakfast of coffee and _nisu_ with another rocker and some books and newspapers. This way they could bide their time waiting as the labor continued.

He sat down and smiled reassuringly at Eva. She smiled back but the smile abruptly changed to a grimace. She clutched her belly and gave a grunt in response to the contraction. Suddenly she stood up and a whoosh of water cascaded down her legs and onto the floor. She looked surprised.

"Victor!" she whined. "My slippers are soaked, and so much for the old nightgown."

"All right, my love. Mother told me to expect that." He had a brief flurry of chaotic thoughts but recovered quickly and helped her take off the wet clothes. He put all their pillows at the head of the bed and put a thick folded sheet on the old quilts to absorb fluids and blood. "Let's get you in bed now, unless you want to sit more."

"Let's try lying down." The fresh nightgown was forgotten.

Just as she was getting into bed a strong contraction hit her.

"Victor, it hurts. It's bigger than the other ones."

"I'm here, Eva. It is what we were told and I am right beside you, darling."

An hour later the contractions were coming at a seemingly alarming rate. Victor had bravely placed himself at the bottom of the bed to watch for any body parts of the baby to start emerging.

"Aaaa!!" Eva was beyond words now and fully in labor. Her tears were flowing, mingling with the streams of sweat coming from her hairline.

He grimaced each time she cried out in pain. He couldn't stand seeing her hurt so much. His heart ached for her but he knew he had to stay strong. He was torn between watching from the end of the bed and holding her to protect her from the battle she seemed to be waging. He began to cry but decided she didn't need that.

He looked at her bulging vaginal area. He had an absurd thought that it was just like livestock calving or lambing. He suddenly felt quite at home with what was happening.

"Push next time you contract. I think you are near. The head should be coming."

"I want to be done." Her hair was plastered to her sweaty head, her face crimson with exertion. As she spoke another huge contraction hit her. She screamed and pushed with all her might. The baby crowned.

"Oh! I see the baby's head!" Victor felt some relief but knew it was not over yet. "Next contraction, push hard and long again. We're almost done. You're so brave and strong, Eva. I love you so much." He nearly started to cry again but he needed to attend to Eva. He swiftly moved from the foot of the bed and wrung a cool wet cloth from the water basin. He used it to wipe her face. She seemed grateful. He saw the next contraction coming. Eva was completely taken by the pain. She emitted a base growl from deep within and pushed with all her might. The baby's head and shoulders appeared after the next push. The last contraction brought their newborn daughter quietly squeaking and breathing into the world. She collapsed onto the pillows behind her.

"It's a girl." He followed with: "It is one o'clock, twelve March, the year of our Lord, 1893. Here comes the afterbirth."

~~~

Victor wiped the newborn gently with soft flannel cloths. He cut the umbilical cord and tied it off, just as he would've done with a new calf or lamb. He then swaddled her in a soft flannel smock, newly knit slippers and a baby blanket. As he brought her to Eva, he now felt like he could cry. He sat for a moment with his wife and daughter and gazed in wonder at the two of them, thankful for their survival. He knew that all too often these events could go badly. He absorbed as much as he could of the scene in front of him—his young wife sweaty and worn to the bone, his baby still wrinkly and fuzzy in her newness.

"Hello, my baby," Eva cooed. "Welcome. I'm your Mamma," Eva smiled softly as the baby made little grunting noises and wrinkled her tiny nose. Eva put the baby to her breast where she immediately latched on, giving the new mother quite a start.

"That is very strange. That rush of milk startled me."

Victor was quietly busy with cleanup. He pulled the fluid-and-afterbirth filled sheet out from under Eva's bottom and placed it in a galvanized bucket, leaving the dry quilts. They would do for the time being. He sat next to mother and daughter to gaze at them. He got his first good look at the baby who was full of mother's milk and asleep. There were no sounds in the house other than a crackling, hissing fire in the ceramic stove, the tick-tocking of the standing clock, and the occasional "uff-uff" of the newborn. He found great peace in those homey sounds, relieved the birth was over.

"I think she looks like you," Eva said quietly. She smiled at him.

"Maybe, I need to study her," he answered. "How do you feel?"

"Like I probably look." Eva's playful self was swiftly returning, much to Victor's delight. He felt safe in her love for him. She smiled in seeming utter joy at him. "Here. Hold your daughter." She handed him the baby.

As he stared at their child, he found himself amazed at what he had created with Eva. He stood up and walked around the room showing his daughter her home. "...and here is a window. And look, Uncle Hannes is coming to see us. Won't he be surprised? I wonder what he will have to say."

He gave the baby a tiny kiss on the forehead and handed her back to Eva so he could unbolt the front door. At some point during the birth, the blizzard had stopped and the sun was shining brightly in a clear blue sky. Victor said nothing to his brother as Hannes removed his skis and boots in the entryway, and came into the house.

"Jesus, it smells like a cow gave birth in here."

"Why don't you go into the bedroom and welcome your new niece and offer the cow congratulations?" Victor took full advantage to embarrass his little brother.

"What?" Hannes said incredulously. As he walked in to see Eva in the bed, in obvious post-birth, his incredulity turned to complete and utter embarrassment. "Eva, I should've known. I didn't mean to call you a cow, even though you were huge recently."

"Hannes!" Victor admonished him, amused that his little brother was digging himself deeper into a hole.

Eva burst into fits of giggles. "Come here and see," she said with affection. "I can say with all honesty she is not a calf, even though it felt like I was giving birth to one."

"You must never tell _Aiti_ I said that. Do you promise?" Hannes addressed the new mother with worry in his eye. His attention then went to the sleeping baby. "She looks like Victor." He looked directly at his older brother. "Poor thing will have to go through life with such a face. I'll make her a cloth bag with eye holes."

Hannes went into his own silent giggling fit, looking pleased that he had a sarcastic statement for his big brother. As he leaned over to give Eva a kiss on the cheek, he softly rubbed his tiny niece's cheek with his index finger.

"This means I get to relinquish the position of baby of the Mattson family. I happily give it to you ...what is her name?" Hannes asked.

"I was thinking of using our mothers' middle names: Ellen, from my mother, and Franciina from Victor's. What do you think, Victor? Her name is Ellen Franciina Mattson."

"I like the name very much," Victor said, gazing at his new daughter. "Will you go back to the farm, Hannes, and let everyone know the baby is here? And, tell them that all is well. If they want to come, tell them in two hours, since everything is fine."

"I'll go right now, Victor. We'll be back in two hours."

~~~

Just after Hannes left, Eva started to feel more and more like she needed to get out of the bed. She felt sticky from dried sweat and birthing fluids. "I would like you to help me wash, and I'd like to stand for that," she declared to Victor. "And then I would like something to eat. I'm starting to feel hungry."

"Fine, I just need to get a sturdy chair for you to hold on to, and the basin full of hot water."

After returning with a kitchen chair and the hot water in the ewer, Victor put the baby in her cradle and helped Eva from the bed. He laid down several linen towels for Eva to stand on, and he began to wash the sweat and birth fluids from her body.

"My knees are trembling, but the washing feels good. I can't wait to get into a hot _sauna_ , maybe tomorrow." She was looking forward to relieving her aching muscles in the moist heat.

"I think we can arrange that."

Over a second large basin of hot water, Victor managed to wash Eva's voluminous head of hair. It took two rinses to get the lather out.

"I needed a clean head of hair, after that," Eva declared. "It makes me feel so much better.

Once Eva's hair was wrung, and in a towel, Victor helped her with a clean flannel nightgown and assisted her to the rocker so he could change the bedding.

"Will you put the rocker next to the baby, please?"

When the bed was changed, Victor got some bread and butter, fried eggs, and a glass of milk for Eva and himself.

"Thank you. That tasted good. Now, I think I would like a nap before everyone comes." She looked at her busy husband, who for the last several hours focused solely on her, tending to her every need. "I am very happy you are here with me," she said sleepily. "You have taken care of everything. I love you, Pappa."

"I love you too, Mamma."

~~~

An hour later, Eva woke to family members beginning to show up. She could hear Victor talking with his mother. They reportedly had boxes of food and homemade blankets and clothing for the baby. Pappa Mattson had fetched the Makis in the horse-drawn sleigh and now he brought Eva's father into the house with Victor's help, and sat him in the rocker in the bedroom, Eva's mother made her way in.

"Mamma, Pappa," Eva whispered. "Look what Victor and I did all by ourselves."

She disconnected the sleeping newborn from her breast to give to Victor, so that the beaming grandparents could hold their new grandchild. Eva's father begged off holding her, saying he didn't want to give her germs. Eva's mother had tears of joy washing down her cheeks as she held the tiny girl.

"Her name," Eva said softly, "is Ellen Franciina. She was born at one o'clock.

"I was wondering about you yesterday, Eva," Mamma said. "You were so quiet and withdrawn. It's what mothers feel when the baby is about to come."

As Eva and Victor told the story of the last several hours, the Mattsons entered the bedroom slowly. As they did so, Liisa and Aili went to the kitchen to make room and to start the cooking but only after they came to see their niece. There were gasps and "awws," and laughing at Hannes's cow comment.

"It looks as though the line of girls continues on the Maki side and gives the Mattsons a respite from boys," Eva's mother said and turned to the group who couldn't resist quietly coming closer to see. "Maria, come see your granddaughter."

Mamma Mattson happily obeyed and quickly came closer. She took the pink-faced, sleeping baby. "She looks like Victor," she cooed. She turned to her husband. "Look Jacob, come see. She looks like you, too."

~~~

Victor came to sit on the bed next to Eva as the family fussed over the baby, passing her from one person to another. He had another overwhelming feeling of incredulity. He took her hand and whispered, "Do you believe what we just did?"

She smiled at him and shook her head. "I feel I can do anything, now."

_She is the victorious one today_ , he thought with great love. "You were amazing today, Eva. You were strong, and didn't give up. I am so proud of you." He picked up her hand and kissed it. "I love you with all my heart." He gazed at her with tears welling in his eyes.

"Victor, I couldn't have managed without you. It was you who kept me from losing my courage." She pulled him to her to kiss him. "You were my strength."

He whispered into her ear, "It was all my pleasure, ALL of it, if you know what I mean." He pulled away from her ear to look into her eyes.

"It was?" she asked. "Well, next time you can give birth, Mr. Mattson." Her eyes mirrored his.

"No thank you, Mrs. Mattson. But what I will do is make sure it's your pleasure, too, when we try again." His entire face smiled.

"Shhh, everyone will hear you," Eva said in mock scolding. They smiled conspiratorially and kissed.

### Chapter 17

Liam was happy that November passed quickly. He was excelling in his courses. All his professors seemed impressed. He and Smythe had a close friendship born of conspiracy and illicit activity, transcending that. One afternoon after lab, Liam stayed behind to discuss things with Smythe.

"I read in the obituaries last night there would be a funeral for a nine-year-old girl today, probably going on right now." Liam saw Smythe's interest peak with a side-glance and a raised eyebrow. "But do ye really need her? I'd rather not ..."

"I was waiting for one like this to come along, Dady. It's much easier for you when it's an adult, I understand." Smythe studied Liam's face. "It's precisely what we need, however." He stopped and waited for Liam to weigh the conflict.

"I don't want to feel like a ghoul any more than I already do. Somebody's grievin' over that child." Liam could see Smythe feeling the same trepidation.

"I understand that, Liam, but think of what we can learn from the young bodies for living children who need healing, or surgeries."

There was a pause. Smythe pulled a bottle of Scotch whiskey and two shot glasses out of his desk drawer. He poured two, not asking if Liam wanted one. He nudged a glass toward Liam.

"What if I doubled the fee?" Smythe offered, tossing his shot down slowly.

Liam looked at him, picked up the shot, and threw it back. He wiped his lips on the back of his hand.

"If I don't have to retrieve every deceased child that's available, I'll do it."

"Deal," breathed Smythe. He looked relieved. "We'll see you tomorrow at lecture."

"I'll see ye at three in the mornin'. Where's the interment?"

~~~

Liam and his partners found themselves at Dean Cemetery at two-thirty in the morning. They were retrieving the child corpse that Smythe was willing to double the fee for.

They had learned it was best to leave the wagon a few blocks away. Just as they were finished refilling the grave and about to carry away the corpse, Robbie spotted a lantern near the entrance. "Shhh!" he whispered with alarm. "Someone's in here with us."

The three ducked behind some nearby tombstones, watching which way the lantern moved. It seemed to be heading away from them.

"It must be the watchman making rounds," Kurt whispered.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Liam said.

Luckily, their wagon was in the opposite direction of the lantern and whoever was carrying it.

They crept stealthily, two of them carrying the bagged body. Just outside the back gates and near the wagon, the grave robbers were startled.

"What do ye think ye're doin'?" a slurred male voice came out of the dark.

Liam turned toward the voice. An elderly, unkempt man stepped out of the pitch-black shadows of the tall wall, fixing his trousers as though he had urinated. He had a bottle.

"Nothin', old man," Robbie said nonchalantly. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been imbibin' at the local establishment down yonder, and—what the hell is the bag for? Are ye stealin' bodies?" His volume rose to where it could wake the neighbors across from the cemetery.

"Shut up, old man," Robbie hissed.

Liam stepped in before another shout could be uttered. He knocked the drunk unconscious with a fist to his slack jaw.

"Let's get out of here," Kurt said. They carefully put the canvas bag into the back of the wagon and in moments they were gone.

At four o'clock, they arrived safely at the ground floor of Playfair Hall.

Smythe was there as always, not trusting anyone but himself to bring the cadavers into the school's morgue. Liam told him of the back-to-back incidences.

"Dean does have security in the form of a deaf old man. He's fairly regular at his rounds and doesn't turn down a bribe if one's ever necessary. Make sure you carry some cash with you. As for drunks on the street? I think you handled it just fine. Keep vigilant eyes on your surroundings."

~~~

The next day Liam took his latest earnings to the Edinburgh Bank. His account had about a thousand pounds from his fighting and grave robbing combined. Right now, he had enough money to get him and Dolly to America and set up a life, a very comfortable one. Before he left for school, he and Dolly had talked one night about going somewhere out west where doctors were needed. He enjoyed the recollection.

"What about wild Indians, Liam?"

"I don't think it's that way anymore, Dee. Not like forty or fifty years ago. It's much more civilized."

"I hope so," she'd answered but sounded doubtful.

"Perhaps we'll go to Montana. There are cattle ranches and cowboys there. They call it Big Sky."

"Why?"

"Because in the wide-open spaces of the prairie, the brilliant blue sky seems to go on forever."

"What's the prairie?" she'd asked, child-like in her curiosity although she was twenty.

Liam had smiled and kissed her passionately. "I'll buy ye a book on America and we can read all about it."

Liam couldn't wait to see Big Sky Country with Dolly. They'd have room for lots of children. He smiled at the fact that his life was so different from two years ago. Then, he had no plans and aimlessly wandered the streets of Belfast, or joined Patrick in his dangerous life of war. Now, he was thinking of children— _in America, of all places_! _I'm going to be a physician_ , he thought with amazement. He loved that Annie and Dolly were proud of him. His parents were proud, but in a this-will-impress-society sort of way. He was grateful for his father funding college for him, though. He wasn't entirely callous by using his father, only his money—for the time being.

### Chapter 18

It was May fourth, Eva's nineteenth birthday. She was in a happy mood. She liked taking the baby visiting. Victor, Eva, and nearly two-month-old Ellen Franciina, slung in a shawl tied over Eva's shoulder, walked to the Maki house for _sauna_ and dinner. Liisa and Aili met them halfway. They had taken turns helping with Ellen over the last weeks, one daughter being home at all times with their parents. Their father was completely bed-ridden now. Eva went there with the baby as often as she could. She knew Pappa would not last long now, and she also knew he was grateful for the time he was spending with baby Ellen.

Liisa and Aili's cheeks and noses were rosy from the brisk, cool spring wind. They thundered down the path, racing to their beloved niece. Aili won.

"I get the baby," Aili announced.

"I'm not about to take Ellen out for a short walk to the house. I'll take her out when we get there," Eva said.

"Aww," Aili lamented. Liisa delivered a look of serves-you-right, at which Aili stuck out her tongue.

It was Saturday, otherwise known as _Sauna_ Day. Victor and Eva had hoped they would have the _sauna_ to themselves. They'd had little time to spend alone since the baby was born. Even if it was an hour in the _sauna_ , they would consider it a luxury.

"So," Victor said casually. "Have you two had _sauna_ yet?"

"Yes, we have. Mamma thought it would be nice for you two to have time together, and we could take care of Ellen while you two get frisky in the heat," Liisa blurted. She had just turned seventeen, and looked as though she were much older.

"Liisa, you are being rude," Aili said, turning bright pink.

They both ran off, Liisa attempting to pull off Aili's hat. They chased each other up to the door, giggling and out of breath.

"They're like the cows let out to pasture after being stuck inside all winter," Eva murmured wryly. It had always been a fun event to watch the cows, who ran and jumped and delighted in their spring freedom.

Victor laughed out loud. He leaned close to Eva and whispered, "I wonder what Yuri has been writing in his letters?"

"And I wonder what she is writing back," Eva added.

Liisa turned around to wait for Eva and the baby. "Yuri wants to come live here and be a farmer and marry me," she announced.

"I had been wondering about that," Eva said, knowing full well how Yuri felt about her sister.

"It drives him mad to be away from me for long periods of time," Liisa said in seemingly glorious lamentation.

"I know how hard it was for you and Yuri being apart all winter. Is he coming to visit soon?" Eva asked her lovesick sister.

"I just got a letter. He said he'd get here very soon, perhaps a day or two." She sounded elated and skipped to the door, a huge grin erupting on her rosy face.

The exuberant group piled into the fragrant, warm house, greetings were given, and Eva's mother, in her rocker, immediately took Ellen.

"Everything will be fine," she assured Eva and Victor. "You can go and take a nice long _sauna_. Take some steam."

"That is a wonderful idea, Mamma. We brought a _sauna_ bag. But first, Liisa can you take the baby to see Pappa?"

A few minutes later the young parents were on their way to the _sauna_. Eva felt good that her father was holding Ellen. The wood smoke from the _sauna_ chimney was fragrant in the cool spring air. Both Eva and Victor were giddy, purposefully bumping into each other on the path. It was difficult to abandon acting like the teenager she still was. Victor had just turned twenty-one. They both giggled breathlessly when Victor tripped on a small stone, nearly falling on his face.

"You can't watch where you are walking? It's bright daylight," Eva teased.

"You pushed me into it," he said accusingly. "You are evil. That's all there is to it."

In high spirits, they walked into the warm dressing room and shut the door. Once inside, they tore their clothes off, leaving them in a heap by the door, and embraced in an open-mouthed, passionate kiss. Eva didn't even care if they lay on the floor, right there, on their clothes. Her knees opened for him.

"Come inside me," she said.

He pushed in. "You are so slippery. My cock is inside you, Eva. Do you like it there?" he murmured setting a frenetic rhythm.

"Yes," she whimpered. "Push hard."

He bit her breasts, making her moan loudly. He spilled into her, "I feel it in my whole body." Victor laughed breathlessly. "I feel like such a pagan, wildly wanton."

"Don't forget me," she whispered, pushing her hips against his.

"Never," he whispered back.

He ground his pubic bone into hers, kissing her until he heard her moan in completion, leaving her limp and satisfied.

In her ecstatic state, she breathed a chuckle as they snuggled. "Remember when you taught me to give you everything when we make love?"

"Yes, I do," he said.

"Do I get a high mark, teacher?"

"Very much so. You are a magnificent lover."

"How do you know, if I'm your only one?"

"I just know. You make me feel wonderful, and my love grows for you each time." He kissed her softly.

She smiled into his eyes.

~~~

They lay together for quite a while, Victor, enjoying the carnality of the last few minutes, played with her ample breasts with his tongue. It didn't take long before they started to feel chilly from the cool, spring draft wafting under the door.

"Let's get into the _sauna_ ," he said, giving one last kiss to her large nipple. He helped her up. He realized he was never was attracted to skinny girls. He opened the _sauna_ door and let her go in before him, giving her a little pat on her bum. "Come on, Mamma, you first." He smiled at her. She looked dreamily at him.

Taking steam, they sat for a long time on the highest bench in the intense moist heat. Occasionally, they would toss a ladle of water on the rocks to create moisture. Eva started to hit Victor with the birch branches used to stimulate circulation. It turned into another game altogether and ended up in wild sexual abandon on the top bench. Eva straddled Victor with his cock inside her. He watched her gyrating hips and her face when she climaxed. It brought his own on. He sucked the side of her breast until the pulses faded.

"We're going to need lots of water after this _sauna_ ," he joked. "Having sex in the _sauna_ is a double dose of sweating."

When it was time to wash, they climbed down to the floor and prepared buckets of cool water. After all that heat, sexual and otherwise, it felt refreshing to pour the much-cooler water over each other, drinking from time to time. They took turns washing the other.

"Let me wash your private parts," he said to her.

"Do you want me to lie down?"

"Just spread your legs. I want to see your face when you climax again."

After Eva climaxed, she asked him, "do you want me to wash you now?"

"Of course," he said. He became instantly erect.

"I didn't have to touch you."

"You can touch me now. Make your hand soapy. Rub me."

She happily obliged his request.

"Your breasts are so nice. I like your baby fat, too. Look at your little belly," he said. He kissed her belly and squeezed her buttocks. "Ummm." She massaged him until he spilled himself on the floor.

Victor knew that as long as Eva nursed Ellen, she shouldn't get pregnant. He felt like a child in a roomful of sweets and nobody to tell him "no." _Come to think of it, no one has ever told me "no." The only one was Eva and that didn't last long. Her "no" was as good as a "yes."_

Deciding it was time to dry, they went into the dressing room. Standing face to face, Victor started to rub Eva with a towel.

She looked down. "Victor, you are getting hard again," she said as he kissed her breasts.

"Yes, I know. It's your wobbling breasts' fault." He looked into her eyes, full of lust, and pushed up against her.

"What do you want?" she said.

"You know what I like."

She knelt on the floor in front of him and looked up at him. "Yes, I do." She grabbed his buttocks. He held her head with his penis in her mouth, and closed his eyes in sheer pleasure.

Before they went into the house, Victor stopped. "Do we look like we've been—?"

"Yes, we do. It's written all over our faces."

Just before he opened the back door they both took a deep breath at the same time and snickered.

~~~

With Victor's strong support, Pappa was able to come to the table for dinner. It was truly end of days for her father and it broke Eva's heart. He held that fatalistic point of view of "when it's your time, it's your time." She watched the emaciated shell of a man who used to carry her on his shoulders. A man who showed her how to drive a horse team, fell trees, split wood, and butcher livestock. He ate with them but very little. She noticed him staring at baby Ellen for long periods as if he were trying to sear her being into his memory. She wondered if his life was what he'd intended it to be and if he would leave this world a happy man. By the way he lovingly gazed at his granddaughter she knew for certain that his life was as he had intended. This thought put her at ease. She was glad she had come often this spring with the baby and sitting for long hours with him, reading anything and everything. Mamma and Eva had sat in the bedroom with him for hours knitting or mending as they chatted with the baby present. It had seemed to comfort him.

When dinner was finished, birthday cake enjoyed, and cleanup complete, Pappa asked to hold Ellen. He did this not through speaking but by holding out two bony, shaking hands, his nearly vacant blue eyes staring into Eva's.

"Let's get you back into bed, Pappa, and then you can hold Ellen again," she said.

Once the two younger sisters changed his bedding, they put him back to bed. Then they propped him up with pillows so he could take Ellen into his arms. Victor took Ellen from Eva, sat on the edge of the bed, and gently placed Ellen into the proud grandfather's arms.

"Here, Pappi. Say goodnight to your Little Ellen," Victor said with love and respect. "We are sharing two women we love, Mr. Maki. Eva and now Ellen."

He looked into Victor's eyes. A tear flowed from the corner of Mr. Maki's eye.

~~~

The next morning during Eva and Victor's quiet breakfast at the cabin on the lake, Victor's father came with the news.

"Eva, your father succumbed in his sleep, I'm so sad to tell you. I had been keeping a daily vigil for a while now."

His sad eyes stayed on Eva who stood from her chair. She was still in her nightgown. He walked to her and put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Eva," he said softly into her hair. "He's at peace now. He suffers no longer." He turned away quickly to hide his tears. Victor moved in swiftly to comfort Eva.

"I will talk to you later, Victor. I will need your help with preparations." His father motioned to his son to come outside with him.

"I will see you as soon as I can." Victor said to his father, and then motioned with his eyes toward Eva as he held her in his arms. He was attempting to signal that his place was with Eva at the present. He saw a nod of acknowledgement from his father.

"No hurry, Eva," Pappa Mattson said. "Maria is with your mother and your sisters, and that will give you some time to ready yourself." He walked out the door.

Eva gave Victor a fierce hug, let him go, and went to the table to start cleanup. Victor said nothing to her knowing she would need space even while being there for her. The last thing Eva would let Victor do was hover over her. He'd learned that in the hours before Ellen's birth. He would provide support by doing what he normally did—to get dressed while she cleaned up the breakfast dishes and put food away in the cold pantry. Ellen was dozing in the small kitchen cradle, satiated with her mother's milk. Eva's daily morning routine with the baby including bathing and changing her diaper was already completed.

While Victor was in the bedroom finishing his dressing, he heard Eva snuffling out in the kitchen. Then it turned into sobbing.

He hesitated for a moment but decided to reach into his top drawer to retrieve a clean handkerchief. He took it out to her. She was leaning over the sink, shoulders shaking. He put his hand on her back. Gratitude was in her face as she dove into his arms. She wailed and coughed and sobbed into his shoulder. After a few minutes he took her to sit on the upholstered settee. Once there, he held her until she was all cried out. Her face was puffy and her nose was completely clogged. He whispered sweet things he would say to a child in distress. While he did so, he pushed her hair out of her wet, tear-stained face. He could see how this comforted her. He took a deep breath thinking to himself that he was relieved she broke down early on at the grim news instead of keeping it stuck inside where it could eat away at her. Her father had been everything to her and now he felt it was his turn to be everything to her. _As much as she would allow_ , he amended, smiling to himself. He knew what an independent, stubborn rock she was.

"I'm going to finish dressing," he said. "Care to join me?" He sensed that she was gaining some composure.

"Yes. I'll come with you. The kitchen is as done as it needs to be. Ellen is sleeping. I will get her ready next."

"If you like," he said. He wanted to let her see he wasn't going to hover. "If you are still getting dressed when I am finished, I will get Ellen and her bag ready."

"Oh, that would be good, Victor," she said. "By the way, I don't mind if you pamper me a little today. Maybe even a lot." She gave him a half smile.

"Whatever you need, I will be there to give it," he reassured her, "even if it is to leave you alone."

"Oh, I don't think I want to be alone. I have nothing to hide, even my sadness. Pappa would not want me to grieve too long." She took a deep, uneven breath. "So, don't leave me for long today."

She followed him into the bedroom.

"I'll do my best," he said. "Father wanted to see me in a while. I may have to help him dig the grave over at the cemetery. But there's Hannes too. Let's see how things fall into place today and tomorrow."

"I think that would be fine. We will want to bury him as soon as possible, I understand." She stopped speaking for a moment as she pulled her stockings on, sitting on the edge of the bed. Then she spoke again. "There will be plenty of things to do at Mamma's as well. I have no idea how things are over there, but with your mother there, I'm sure everything is under control." She stood to walk over to her chest of drawers. "Damn it. I don't want to wear black."

"Then don't," he said, in support of her. "We are in the middle of nowhere. Who is going to see you? Would you care if anyone judged you anyway?"

She gave him an I-don't-give-a-damn gaze.

"I didn't think so," he said.

"I'll wear it for the funeral so Mamma feels I am correct. She's the only one I'll do it for."

She did put on a better outfit for the day, however, her dark gray linen skirt, her white, high-collar blouse, and matching jacket.

As Eva finished getting ready, Victor prepared Ellen and her things. He even arranged the baby sling complete with sleeping baby, on himself. He slipped the canvas baby bag over his shoulder. With coat and boots on, Eva was ready to walk to her mother's house to be with her family on the day of her beloved father's passing.

~~~

Eva was correct. Victor's mother had really taken charge at the Maki house. As she and Victor walked in, they saw food on the table and fresh coffee ready to pour. Mamma Mattson had helped everyone get dressed, and Pappa's body had been prepared and wrapped in a sheet on the bed. All was calm, including Mamma. She was sitting in her rocker, looking more relieved than grieved. _After the prolonged and dreadful illness, we are all relieved_ , Eva thought.

Silent greetings were exchanged amongst the Maki survivors including kisses and hugs and tears. Aili took the baby from the sling and went into her bedroom. Liisa looked grieved and forlorn; probably wishing her Yuri was with her.

Victor spoke softly to Eva. "Would you mind if I went to find Father right now?"

Eva gave Victor a look of reassurance. "I'll be fine. I'll have a cup of coffee and settle in with Mamma." She tilted up her chin for a kiss. "Don't stay too long."

Victor put his coat and boots back on and walked out the door. Eva followed him to the stoop.

~~~

As he headed down the lane, to Eva's surprise, Victor spotted Yuri riding up to the farm. Yuri waved to Victor. Victor told him of the passing of Mr. Maki and that Liisa could surely use his company and support. Eva

"I don't want to intrude," Yuri said with concern.

"I'll walk you in," Victor said to his friend. "Don't worry, you'll be a help. Liisa will be relieved."

"Hello, Eva," Yuri said. "I'm sorry for your loss."

As the three walked back in, everyone turned their heads to see who it was. Liisa dropped a dish of cookies onto the table, and ran into Yuri's arms. Eva felt relief for Liisa. She was touched by the affection between them. Aili came out of the bedroom with the baby and sat in the second rocker.

Yuri hugged Liisa fiercely and kissed her lovingly. "I am so sorry. Your Pappa was a good man. I'm glad I was able to meet him."

"Thank you, Yuri."

"How are you holding up? You look all right."

"I am glad he's not suffering."

"I know, darling."

He gently let her go and walked over to Eva's mother. He knelt and quietly gave his condolences. Speaking softly, he said, "I truly hope I am not intruding, but as long as I am here, I am at your service."

Mamma spoke quietly, too. "Liisa is heartbroken. Let her cry with you. I know how fond you are of each other. God knows I've heard it all winter." She managed a caring smile for her second daughter. "You go with her. It's all right with me."

Yuri placed his hand on hers and patted it, then straightened to his full height.

"Eva, may I talk with you in private?" he asked.

"Of course. Let's go into the bedroom."

In the room, he confessed to Eva. "I had come to ask your father for Liisa's hand. Now, I don't know what to do."

"How wonderful, Yuri." She put her arms around him in a brief embrace.

"I suppose I'll have to postpone it and ask your mother in the near future."

"That may be wise. But why don't you let Liisa in on it. She's grieving so."

"Thanks, Eva."

When they returned to the kitchen, Yuri approached Liisa and took her hand. "If you have a few minutes, come outside with me. Let's go for a walk in the fresh air. Victor told me you have been up since the very early morning."

~~~

"Do we really need a minister to bury him?" Victor asked his father pragmatically as they dug the grave in the family cemetery. Hannes was also there to help out. The family cemetery was on the opposite side of the farm from the tenant's house. Victor's grandparents and great grandparents were buried there, as well as his father's older brothers and their wives.

"We'll have to ask Sinnikka," Jacob concluded. "I know she doesn't care for Salmi but it would take some time to arrange for Pastor Alve to get here for a service."

"I agree we need to ask her, and Eva," Victor said. "She would want to be a part of the decision." He fell silent for a few moments as he shoveled more dirt out of the grave. After a few minutes, he stopped and spoke again. "Perhaps we can suggest a simple burial, amongst ourselves, and then we have time to ask Pastor Alve to come when he is able." Hannes took the shovel from Victor and he climbed out of the deepening hole.

"That sounds reasonable," his father said. "Let's see what the women think when we are finished here."

~~~

Eva and her mother agreed with the idea. Neither she nor her mother wanted Pastor Salmi there. They all knew how to read passages from the Bible. Pappa could be interred and then have a full service in a short while when the preferred Pastor was able to come.

Next, the coffin would have to be constructed. The Mattson men could do that within an hour or two, since the lumber was already available in the tool shed. Practicality called for these materials to be available in isolated areas. Oftentimes people died quite unexpectedly.

Everyone gathered at the Maki's to eat the meat pies Mamma Mattson had made for the mid-day meal. In spite of the sadness of the occasion, everyone was famished.

Victor tended to Eva and his daughter for a while before he returned to the woodshed to help build the coffin.

"I have been all right," Eva said to him. "Being with family is a big help. Tending to Ellen is giving me great comfort."

Later that afternoon the finished pine plank coffin was brought to the house. Already prepared and dressed in his best suit, Pappa was placed inside. The bereaved walked behind the horse-drawn, coffin-laden wagon to the cemetery. Time was given to anyone who wanted to read their favorite passage from the Bible or anything else, over the grave. Mamma Mattson sang an old Finnish hymn. Yuri said a Russian Orthodox funeral prayer with his cap off.

Eva chose the Twenty-third Psalm.

"The Lord is my shepherd ..." she read. "... He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul . . ." As she said the words, they were giving her great comfort. She knew her father was now at rest and she need not be afraid. It gave her strength. She wasn't overly religious but she still felt close to her father and knew everything would be fine.

~~~

Back at their cabin in late evening, with the baby in her cradle and Yuri in the other bedroom, Eva lay in bed contented after a round of love making with an attentive husband. He cradled her in his arms from the top and slowly moved inside her bringing her to her finish. Enveloped in Victor's arms, she talked sleepily about her revelation as she read from the Bible earlier that day.

"I felt deep comfort from reading today. In the psalm, David is singing that God is with us even in our darkest hour, that he provides us His word, His law, for all our needs. Why don't they teach us that in church? Don't you think more people would go?"

"That's an excellent question. Should we ask Salmi that next time we see him?"

There was a short silence.

"Do you believe in spirits?" Victor asked.

"Yes. After all, isn't God a Spirit? Maybe our spirits go back to God when we die. Then if there is eternal life with God, there is no death. We just leave our body—our spirit leaves, that is—and go back to God."

"Maybe so, my little philosopher. I'm proud of your exploration of the deeper questions of the time, Eva. I've always seen you as intelligent. You just proved it to me again."

He squeezed her and kissed her neck. She felt him in his aroused state and turned to face him.

"Yuri said he told you something interesting earlier today," Eva said, "and that I should ask you about it."

"He said Liisa wanted to take him into the _sauna_ to make love."

"She's feeling her oats," Eva said. "She's so in love with him."

"Yuri gently told her it wasn't the right time. But he thrilled her with a proposal of marriage. He said he would ask your mother at the appropriate time."

Eva nuzzled into his neck and put her hand on his penis. "I'm happy for her."

"The family can use another good man like your father."

"Ummm."

He pushed his erection into her hand. She squeezed it. "So, you are looking for a second time tonight?" he asked.

"At least." She stroked him with her hand. "What do you want?" she asked. She was finding a great deal of solace in her husband and their physical relationship.

"It's your turn. What do you want?" he growled huskily, climbing on top. "I'll be happy to oblige you."

"I like it when you climax inside me." Eva dared to reveal a fantasy. "Thinking about it makes me climax."

"I like it, too," he murmured, and wriggled in between her legs.

~~~

Yuri prepared to leave a few days later with the intent to immediately get word to Pastor Alve in Turku. Eva and Liisa saw him off.

"Remember our wedding plans, and I'll be back to work on the farm for the summer. That's not long. One month at the most." He kissed her ear, making her giggle. Eva liked the way Yuri was helping Liisa set a better mood for their separation making it easier on her. Eva got a wink from Yuri as she watched Liisa gaze starry-eyed into his handsome face. Hope and excitement seemed to emanate from Liisa. After one last kiss, Yuri climbed into the carriage and drove off down the lane.

He looked back. "I'll be back, my love!" he yelled to Liisa.

It made Eva think of Eino. Remembering their wrenching final parting she yearned for Eino ... _I can't think of the past anymore. Victor is my love now,_ she said firmly to herself. _I'm sorry, Eino._

That night, after making love and Victor had fallen asleep, Eva lay awake. She felt the melancholy she was getting used to since Eino left. It wasn't there all the time, and for that she was grateful. And when it was, she was learning how to hide it from everyone. She wondered if she would ever get over him and be truly happy with Victor. She rolled over to look at Ellen who was content sleeping in her cradle. She smiled at the preciousness. And sometimes even if Victor was there she turned to her daughter and the deep love she had for her to bring her back, when the melancholy visited.

~~~

For the next few weeks, Eva split her time between both houses. While the wait started for Pastor Alve, everyone had to get back to running a farm. Since it was planting time, that's what resumed. Rye went into one large field, oats in another, and barley in yet another. A pram was fetched out of storage for Ellen and Aili was designated in charge of the baby. Liisa was needed for planting until Yuri arrived, as well as for chores at the Maki house. Aili was to shadow Eva, or at least be at the ready with Ellen when it was time to breast-feed. It was tricky, but it worked.

Eva surreptitiously watched Hannes and Aili with the baby. He seemed to like his little niece and would hold her after he washed for a meal. Eva could tell that Aili was dreaming of her own family someday. _I think it will be with Hannes_ , Eva thought _. They will be so sweet together._

### Chapter 19

At the Dady house, Christmas plans and menus were being created. The Dadys had held a Christmas Eve Soiree for years. All the top Harland and Wolff executives attended with their wives and adult children.

Early one morning, Dolly and Annie rose to their regular routine. While Dolly helped with breakfast preparation, Annie informed her of the Christmas planning they would be doing at nine o'clock with Mrs. Dady.

"I'm having you be in charge of note takin', Dolly. Pay particular attention to the foods she mentions. Have a couple extra sheets for the decorations. If a foreign word comes up, just spell it like it sounds and we can rewrite it later. I have a good memory. Put the pages into categories such as fruit, meat, vegetables, breads, desserts, beverages, and the like. I've done this before, so we can reorganize it after the meeting. I want _her_ to see that you are capable of much more than she believes ye are."

"Do ye think I am?"

"Of course, ye are. Have faith in yerself. I've seen ye grow a great deal since ye came here. I'm proud o' ye."

Dolly smiled. "I'll write Liam, telling him what all I'm in charge of."

"He'll be proud, too."

~~~

It was nine o'clock when Mrs. Dady walked into the dining room to do her soiree planning with Annie and Dolly. She seemed animated and energized. She actually made meaningful eye contact with both Dolly and Annie.

"Good morning, Mrs. Dady," Annie said politely. Dolly parroted her. She usually called her "Mum."

"Do you have last year's menu, Annie? I don't want to have the same foods and

hors d'oeuvres as last year."

"Yes, mum, and I also have a new recipe book you may like to look at for new ideas."

For the next hour, Mrs. Dady picked out foods, made decisions on décor, and decided when the tree would be delivered. "There are boxes up in the attic, Dolly, marked Christmas. The church will send us a fir tree and set it up in the corner of the parlor. Annie will tell you where the decorations go around the house. The decorating can start next week, about five days before the soiree. I like to get in the spirit before the guests come."

"Yes, mum."

Dolly felt her cheeks heat with excitement as she tended to her notes. She had never in her life decorated for, let alone celebrated, Christmas.

With the meeting concluded, Mrs. Dady stood up. Completely out of character, she shared her plans other than the soiree.

"Since Liam has decided on becoming a doctor," she said, "I have been thinking about matching him up with this very pretty girl by the name of Mary Tisdale. She's from a very well-to-do family. Lots of money there. She's not yet been courted, so I'm going to get to know her mother. I think I'd like to have her for tea one of these afternoons ..."

Mrs. Dady prattled on, much to the dismay of Dolly, who pretended to be writing on her notes, fearful of making eye contact.

"I think they are a perfect match," Mrs. Dady said. "What a wedding extravaganza it will be. It's what's making me so happy this morning."

"Yes, mum," Annie replied in deference.

The two stunned servants remained frozen in their spots as Mrs. Dady got up from the table and stepped lively out of the dining room and out of sight.

Dolly, forthwith, ran into the servants' quarters and buried her face in her pillow and bawled her eyes out until they shed no more tears.

Annie tried to console her. "You know very well it's not goin' to happen that way. The only match she's interested in is the money match, and how she looks to the ranks in society."

"What if she forces Liam? She's fairly forceful," Dolly cried. She felt completely powerless.

"Liam is not goin' to stand for it, ye know that, surely." Annie rubbed her back. "No more cryin'. Enough." Annie pulled Dolly by the arm to help her sit up. Dolly leaned into Annie for a hug. As they sat together on the edge of Dolly's bed, Dolly was sure they were both already planning an addition to their weekly letter that would go to the post office before dinner.

Soon after crying, Dolly and Annie quickly finished the addendum to their letter at the kitchen table and sealed the envelopes.

"Ye're goin' to have to go alone to post these," Annie said. "I know you're not used to going out alone, but I have to get dinner in the oven. Dress warmly. It's quite cold and windy."

~~~

It was cold and gray and smelled like snow while Dolly walked in a stiff breeze to the post to mail their letters. It would get to him just in time before he left to come home on Christmas Eve. _God,_ she prayed, _let him be home soon. At least let the time go fast._

Dolly felt great relief as soon as the letters were posted. Even in the cold she felt a lighter step as she made her way back to the mansion, about a ten-minute walk.

Dolly rounded the corner to the front gate. There was a man standing in front of the gate, hands in his pockets, cap pulled down, hunched in the cold. She could see his breath as he stood watching her make her way toward him. At first, she thought it might be Shaughnessy coming back for her, which filled her with dread. She had no choice but to continue towards the gate, though. As she got closer, she realized it was Malachi Leary from the market. Her dread did not lessen.

He straightened himself as though he wanted to present himself to her properly.

As Dolly got closer, she noticed desperation in his eyes. "Hello, Miss Dolly," he said.

"What in God's name are ye doin' here, Mr. Leary? I thought ye'd be at the market. How did ye know where I worked?" She stopped to open the gate.

"I love you, Dolly. I know you love me, and I want us to be together." Leary put his hand on her arm to prevent her from going through the gate. "I've come for ye."

"I don't think I've ever given ye the idea that I like you other than that of a friendly acquaintance. I am promised to someone else. I'm sorry." She tried to be gentle, yet make him understand.

"Ye can't be. I won't let ye." Leary's desperation seemed to escalate. He grabbed her arm tighter as though he was going to pull her away. She could see he did not like it when she tried to pull away from him. He gripped that much harder.

She didn't know whether to scream or start scratching at his eyes. She filled with terrible fright.

Then right when she thought she was done for, seemingly out of nowhere a group of four men with hoods over their heads came around the corner headed determinedly for her. She had no idea who they were or what they were doing, but they seemed intent on her and Malachi Leary.

"What's all this, then," one of the hooded figures said quietly with menace. He removed Leary's hand from Dolly. As soon as she was freed, Dolly grabbed her arm to rub the pain away.

"What the hell do ye think ye're doin' arsebites," Leary said indignantly. He tried to unloose the man's hand from him but was unsuccessful. "Let go of me—" Leary tried once again to struggle loose but a gag was stuffed into his mouth.

A carriage pulled up.

"Get in," one of the hooded men said to Leary while the others shoved him in. The same man, the apparent leader of the group spoke to Dolly. "Worry no more, love of Liam. We'll take care o' this. Go in with Annie now."

Dumbfounded and feeling faint, Dolly watched as the carriage drove swiftly around the corner carrying Malachi Leary to who knows where and to who knows what ends.

Annie had enough time before dinner to calm Dolly and explain what had happened. She helped Dolly with her coat and sat her down at the kitchen table and gave her a cup of hot tea with a sweet biscuit.

"Before Liam left," Annie said, "he had arranged with his friend Patrick and me, that if anything was amiss with ye, I was to go to Patrick and he would take care of it. As soon as we met Malachi Leary, I got word to Patrick to have him watched. They had noticed that Leary was skulkin' round the mansion for the last few weeks. They even came to the market to watch him watch you. Unfortunately, sweetheart, to catch him, the plan was to have you go out alone. Since the letter to Liam went out the same day every week, Patrick and his cohorts could grab him if you were in harm's way. And today proved you were in harm's way." Annie poured herself a cup of tea, sat down at the table, and heaved a sigh.

Dolly took a sip of hot chamomile. "What's goin' to happen to Malachi?" she asked meekly.

"I don't know and I don't care," Annie said. "And neither should you."

Dolly took a deep breath. She sipped her fragrant, soothing tea and asked nothing more. She could only think of her beloved Liam and feel the warm gold heart pressing lovingly against her own.

### Chapter 20

"Liisa," Eva called from the edge of the road as she started for the Mattson's and Liisa to their own barn to muck stalls, "I see a rider down the road, a handsome dark-haired rider."

"It's Yuri!" Liisa squealed with delight. He had been gone nearly a month. She ran to him.

Eva followed and watched with joy as Yuri dismounted, let his horse loose, and filled his arms with Liisa. Their lips locked, their bodies melting together.

"I couldn't wait to get here. I left at four this morning. I will stay indefinitely. I've decided to end my university courses." Yuri looked at Eva and said hello.

"Hello, Yuri. We are all happy to see you, but not as happy as my sister. It's gotten busy. I'll see you later."

"Before you go, I have word from Pastor Alve. He will be here in two weeks' time for the funeral."

"That's good news. Help Liisa finish in the barn and then go tell my mother about Pastor Alve. She will like that."

~~~

Later that morning, Yuri sought out Victor.

"I would like you to come with me to talk with Mrs. Maki. I have this idea ..."

At the Maki farm that afternoon, Liisa prepared coffee while Victor and Yuri paid a visit.

Yuri spoke first. "I have come, Mrs. Maki, to stay on indefinitely. I'd like your permission to be of service to you and this farm, but only if I am welcome. I understand that you may not feel comfortable since I have developed strong feelings for Liisa."

"I see." Mrs. Maki seemed willing to listen. "Go on."

Yuri looked at Victor who interjected on Yuri's behalf to help his nervous friend, saying: "Yuri is suggesting he be here to help on the tenant's farm as well as on the big farm. He's offering to stay on here, if you approve. Otherwise my mother will give him the spare bed again."

"It's your decision, Mrs. Maki. I am here to be of complete service to you," Yuri said with a glance at Liisa.

"And, of course, to Liisa," Mrs. Maki added with a smile. "Yuri, I am in deep gratitude that you would help us at this time. Perhaps we can move the girls' beds in with me, and you can have that room for privacy."

Victor looked at Liisa. Her face was lit brilliantly with joy, no doubt at the prospect of her true love living under the same roof. Victor smiled at her. Yuri's eyes were still on Liisa. He looked just as elated as she but seemed to be keeping it hidden for decorum's sake.

"Then, it is settled?" Yuri asked.

"I do believe it is, Yuri."

"That's great, Mrs. Maki. I'll come back later and help with bed moving."

Liisa walked them out of the house and kissed Yuri. "We eat at six, if you can make it. Otherwise, I'll keep a plate warm for you."

"I'll see you soon," he said, smiling. He turned and walked back to the big farm with Victor.

"I wanted to ask for Liisa's hand as well, but I should wait a while for that," he said as they walked.

"At least until the funeral is done," Victor suggested.

~~~

Days later, as Victor and Yuri were working to clear brush with Victor's father, Yuri asked the two men how to get on the good side of Mrs. Maki so he could ask her for Liisa's hand in marriage.

"Don't push, show her much respect, and defer to her," Victor's father said. "Always ask her opinion about things on her farm. She and Olli collaborated much to the good."

"I know this sounds a bit hypocritical coming from me," Victor added. "But don't get Liisa pregnant. They had a hard time with Eva's out-of-wedlock pregnancy that I still feel guilty about."

"I wasn't planning on getting her pregnant." Yuri had his hands in a stop position. "But, when I do talk to Mrs. Maki, and all is well, I really want to have the wedding soon. I'm having a hard enough time as it is."

The men chuckled in response to Yuri's impatience and eagerness.

"God in Heaven, it's almost all I think about," Yuri said.

Victor's father cleared his throat. "Here's the only advice that ever worked for me," he said. "You have to keep yourself very busy, and distract yourself. If that doesn't work, throw yourself in a cold lake."

Yuri laughed and rolled his eyes in a gesture of "God, help me!"

~~~

" _Juhannus_ is just a week or so away," Victor said amid family talk of who was to be going to the festival in Rauma. This time of year brought to him thoughts of going to town. More disturbing, were resurfacing thoughts of Olga and being with her. He felt restless. It was a restiveness that couldn't be fully suppressed by Eva's otherwise hot sex and love. Thank God, Eva let him have her when he couldn't withstand that need in him. He'd run to her whenever the compulsion surfaced, took her to a quiet place, and fucked her. Thank God it was to her delight.

The discussion of _juhannus_ was taking place one warm Saturday evening at the Mattsons, who had invited the Maki household for _sauna_. They were sitting in the kitchen after the customary small meal.

"Yuri and I would like to go," Liisa said. "We would be glad to take Aili and Hannes."

"Eva and I will have to pass this year, with the baby only three months," Victor said. "I wish we could but ... perhaps next year. Right, Eva?"

"I want to go, too, but I agree with you, Victor," Eva said. "We'll stay home with Mamma."

Victor's father turned to Hannes. "Well, if you go, Hannes, you and Aili will be under the supervision of Yuri. Remember, you cannot misbehave in front of Pastor Salmi. And you must forego the bonfire and be home by eleven o'clock."

~~~

On the day of _juhannus_ , Yuri, Liisa, Hannes, and Aili left at six the morning.

After minimal morning chores, Eva and Victor took Ellen to Mamma's to stay for the day. Mamma had three unopened letters from relatives and she thought it was a good time to have them read to her. Eva had felt disappointed she couldn't go to the festival. It was the first time she could remember that she and her family hadn't gone if the weather was good. _I am a mother now. I cannot be a child forever,_ she rationalized.

It was a beautiful sunny day after several days of drizzle. At Mamma's request, Victor put two rockers and a bench under the Mountain Ash in the back yard.

"I would like to have our own _juhannus_ fire if you don't mind, ladies," Victor said. He took some of last year's wood near the _sauna_ and put it in the burn pit. He quickly started a hearty fire with old newspapers and kindling.

One letter was from Mamma's cousin in Helsinki, Ida Tamminen. She wrote of her twenty-six-year-old son Paavo, who had immigrated to America two years ago. He had procured a prestigious butler's position in a mansion in Chicago. He oversaw the household staff and was paid very well. He was able to send home a little money each month to help his immediate family. He had married the pretty Finnish cook, Lempi. He was fortunate, as most employers would not allow fraternizing between staff. They had small quarters to themselves, and one day off per week.

As Eva read it aloud to her mother, it brought to mind Victor's suppressed dreams of emigrating. She glanced at Victor. She knew it might never happen. She was too close to her family to do anything like that anymore. Those thoughts were interrupted by a fussy, hungry baby. Eva gave the letter to Victor to continue reading and picked up Ellen and put her to her breast.

That night in bed, Victor again mentioned the prospects of someday going to America.

"It's possible it may never happen, Victor. I must admit I am feeling quite good about living here. I love our cottage at the lake. We will definitely have more children, and by the looks of it, Liisa and Yuri will be wed. Liisa and I have already talked of having children together. It's not as though if we stay, we won't be happy."

"I see that, too, Eva. Perhaps, say, ten years from now we can revisit the idea."

Eva let it be, but she did not want Victor to have his way when it meant leaving home.

### Chapter 21

On the night of December 23rd, Liam approached a steam freighter in Glasgow after learning it was headed for Belfast. The weather was frigid, but fair for sailing. A vendor on the docks was selling beef pasties. Liam bought one wrapped in newspaper, and a bottle of ale.

As the ship was getting ready to cast off, Liam walked up to the gangway and addressed the captain who was on the side deck. "Can ye give me passage to Belfast?" he asked. "I'll pay ye for a bunk. I'm headin' home to my girl for Christmas."

"That's grand," said the captain. "We can accommodate ye just fine. Come aboard."

"Thanks, Captain."

Liam handed him two pound notes.

"Thank ye, sir. This'll help for Christmas." The captain, a Scotsman, smiled and tucked the notes into his trouser pocket. "I'll have the deck hand show ye a small state room."

Liam would arrive at the mansion early the next morning before the elder Dadys were awake. He desired more than anything to make love to Dolly before the sunrise, perhaps in the laundry room, or if Annie was up, in the servants' quarters. As Liam ate his pasty and drank the bottle of ale in the cramped quarters now, his memory of Dolly was burning in his heart. Sitting in the lower bunk, feeling the roll of the sea, Liam could conjure up her natural sweet fragrance, her cooing in their coupling, and her warm lips on his. But most of all, he could see the love in her face as they lay together, talking of their plans for the future. He loved her gently and softly, for that was not her previous life. She was still healing from the emotional and physical brutality of the brothel. Her letters showed burgeoning inner strength and confidence, and he wanted her to stay growing in that direction—not for him, but for herself. Annie's letters were corroborating Dolly's with regard to her healing.

A few hours later, a deckhand woke Liam from his restive doze as the steamer chugged into port in Belfast. Upon docking, Liam thanked the Captain, disembarked, and headed home in the frosty early morning darkness. He was able to hail a taxi, taking him a few blocks away from home. He didn't want to cause a stir and wake his late-rising parents. He walked the rest of the way, hoping upon hope that Dolly was awake.

~~~

"Wake up, Dolly," Annie whispered. She gently shook Dolly's shoulder.

"Uhhggh," Dolly answered. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, darlin'. It's Christmas Eve, the mornin' of the soiree. We have much to do on top of our regular duties. Go take yer bath."

"My belly hurts. I feel sick."

"Ye're just nervous about Liam comin'."

Over the last week, Dolly had decorated the downstairs of the Dady mansion with their ample supply of Christmas paraphernalia. It was a labor of sheer delight. For the first time in Dolly's life, she would be celebrating Christmas. Most of all, Liam would be home. She could hardly contain her joy but she vacillated between that joy and her fear of Liam being forced to marry Mary Tisdale.

"Go take yer bath, Dolly," Annie said again as she pulled on her stockings and brushed down her skirt. "Let yerself soak in the heat to calm yerself. I need yer undivided attention today. I know he's comin' home sometime tonight, and I'm joyous, too. Even so, I need ye fully."

"Yes, Annie. I know ye need me, but I'm about to burst with joy. I'll go and soak for ye."

Dolly left the room in her nightgown with robe in hand.

~~~

Several minutes later, Liam quietly came through the kitchen door, finger on his lips to keep Annie quiet.

"Oh, dear God, ye're home," Annie whispered. Liam gave her a bear hug. "Why are ye so early?" she asked.

"To ruin my mother's prodigal-son moment," he said jokingly. He kissed Annie on the cheek.

"Dolly's drawin' a hot bath. I told her to soak in the heat. She's so wound up about you comin' and yer mother wantin' Mary Tisdale for ye."

"I'm glad ye wrote me about it. I won't be blind-sided." He started for the laundry door.

Annie cleared her throat. "Yer not ..."

"I am," Liam said. "Just give a knock when ye think we've been in there too long. But please, give me some time, all right?"

~~~

As Dolly prepared a hot bath in the cast-iron bathtub in the laundry room, her heart soared and her belly flip-flopped. Stepping gingerly into the steaming water, she was picturing Liam on top of her, naked and hard in his urgent need for her. It roused her to know he would be home in just hours, and that they would find time to quell the urgency that had been building and building over the last four months. _Perhaps tonight, here, in the laundry room, or late in Liam's own bed,_ she thought. The Dadys would be leaving late morning for their Dublin New Year's holiday.

Dolly had been given Christmas morning off by Annie, on account of working so hard the days and weeks before the soiree, so she wasn't expected to be present in the household Christmas morning. Liam would go downstairs to have Christmas with his parents while she slept in his bed, waiting for his return. Then Annie would go to her sister's house for a few days. Liam and Dolly had been planning this in their correspondence for the last month.

As Dolly immersed herself in the soothing, steamy water, she heard the door to the kitchen open and close. With her eyes closed she said, "I'll be done directly, Annie. I just got in, and it's so nice."

"It's not Annie, and don't hurry on my account," said a soft, familiar voice.

Startled and stunned, Dolly scrambled to her feet, splashing water on the floor. As she turned, she saw Liam rushing to catch her if she fell. As he came to her, he dropped his coat to the floor.

"Liam," she managed to whisper. She felt shock, then joy as they wrapped their arms around each other.

"I wanted to see ye naked, but I didn't think it'd be right away," he whispered in between kisses.

"I'm all wet," Dolly said. She tried to back away, but he resisted letting her go. Finally, she started to shiver in the cool air of the laundry room.

"Get back in the water, ye're shiverin'." He assisted her back down, kneeled alongside the tub, and took off his now-wet shirt. He picked up the wash cloth and lavender soap, lathered it, and began bathing her. Their eyes were locked as Liam began the same gentle ministrations as months ago when he first brought Dolly from Shaughnessy's.

"It's as though ye're washin' away my loneliness," she said. "I'll be all right now, ye're home."

He smiled in agreement, took a deep breath, and moved the soapy cloth over her breasts. She moaned in pleasure at his hand.

"Yer body's nice and filled out," he said. "Ye have wee curves. I like it. Ye've more to hold." The delight in his voice made her smile. "I like yer wee belly. It ... ye make me want to pleasure ye." He moved the soapy cloth to her belly and purposefully down below.

"I like it when ye rub my belly, down there," she said with a naughty-sweet voice. She pointed to the place between her belly button and tuft of dark blonde hair.

"Do ye now?" he whispered sweetly. "All around here?" He went round and round with the cloth softly, to Dolly's soft moans of pleasure.

He slowly moved lower, finally reaching back to the cleft between her buttocks. He ran the cloth softly, all the way to the top of her genitals. As she pushed against his hand, he let go of the cloth and put his middle finger on her now throbbing cleft. She was in need of support, so he held her up by her neck and back with his other hand as she held onto the sides of the tub; he continued his stimulation in her nether region for a few pleasure-filled minutes.

"Uuuhhh." Dolly made the noise quietly as she shuddered, gasped for air, and released. The water splashed with her involuntary movement.

He pulled her out of the water as if she weighed nothing and placed her on the pile of bedding waiting to be washed. He took his trousers off. "I have to get into ye quick, Dee."

She spread her legs. He climbed in, she pulled him into her. "I dreamed of this everyday ye were gone." She whispered into his ear. "Ye move so nice."

"Ye feel so good ... like home ..." he breathed. After several pleasure-mounting thrusts he came. Breathless and in a limp heap on top of Dolly, who was now crying in her own joy, he managed to say, "God in Heaven, I missed ye."

Her only reply was to put her mouth on his. She could feel his smile on her lips.

"I'm glad we got first things first out of the way." He sighed sleepily while Dolly giggled underneath him. They lay quiet in each other's arms for a long while, basking in their reunion. A quiet knock sounded on the laundry door. "It's Annie. Time for gettin' on with the day."

"I'd better get goin' upstairs and into bed," he said. "I didn't sleep very much on the boat. I'm ready to fall over."

"Go, then. I'll see ye later on," she whispered. She felt regenerated from making love with him. "Stop and get somethin' to eat in the kitchen. I'm sure there are raisin scones."

"I'll grab two and a cup of milk and head off to bed." He stood up. She joined him, putting her arms around his neck and giving him a wet good-morning kiss. He helped her put on her robe and then pulled on his damp, cold clothes. He shivered and turned to the door, leaving her to get ready for the day.

Before he left the room, he turned back to her. "One more thing," he said. "Ye've not been frettin' about Mary Tisdale, have ye?"

Dolly lowered her gaze in shame.

"That's what I thought," he said. "Not a minute more, do ye hear?"

She looked at him shyly. She saw his big smile and the love for her in his eyes. She nodded her head in response, and then gave him a shy smile.

"I love _you_ ," he whispered. "Only _you_."

~~~

Just a few minutes before six-thirty that evening, when the guests were scheduled to arrive, the servants began placing a huge buffet-style spread on the dining room table. All day, Annie had been preparing things to eat with the help of two hired servants and Dolly. Stacked on the table were Mrs. Dady's best pure-white china, shiny silverware laid out meticulously in rows, and perfectly-pressed linen napkins folded in triangles, all on top of a dark-red-velvet tablecloth. There were huge vases of creamy, white roses arranged with rich, green holly branches, placed on either side of the table. The special foods were Beluga caviar and calamari in an oregano and basil tomato sauce. The Dadys paid dearly for them both, since they were imported. Annie got the recipe for the tomato sauce from the new cookbooks she had borrowed from a fellow cook in the neighborhood. While Dolly and Annie fluttered about in the kitchen, two specially-hired servants passed out fancy finger foods on trays to the guests and made sure drinks were available.

At around seven-fifteen, Dolly was in the dining room replacing a plate of cheeses. When she glanced up to see the pretty dresses, she saw Mary Tisdale walking toward the table for something to eat. She had insisted earlier that Annie point out Mary to her when people started to arrive.

"She's the only young woman here," Annie said. "Ye can't be mistaken."

Dolly's face flushed with heat at the girl's relative closeness to her. She wondered if Mary was in on the push to match her with Liam for marriage. She was beautiful with blue eyes, pulled-up dark brown hair, and not a blemish on her porcelain skin. To Dolly, she looked like an expensive China Doll, the kind one doesn't play with. She was taller and shapelier than a doll, however, with an hourglass figure. Dolly quickly remembered what Liam had said to her early that morning about filling out and being more to hold. This made her feel better. Mary's gown was beautiful, a dark-red velvet for Christmas.

_She matches the tablecloth,_ Dolly thought. She smiled to herself. Dolly wished she were in Mary Tisdale's stead and that Mrs. Dady wanted her to marry Liam. _If it could be so simple,_ she thought. As Dolly picked up two empty plates, a question flashed in her mind. _What am I doing here_ , _at the Dady mansion? Why does everythin' have to be hidden?_ She turned to go back into the kitchen, but not before one last glance at Mary, who was now looking inquisitively at her. _Why is she lookin' at me?_ Dolly left the dining room, her face hot with anger, and rushed back to Annie in the kitchen.

"Annie, what am I doin' here?"

"Gettin' another plate for the table. Here, more squid."

"No, Annie!" Dolly could not mask the anxiety in her voice. "Why am I livin' here? Why do I feel like I'm hidin'?"

"Did ye just figger out which one Mary Tisdale is?" Annie watched her with care and concern.

"She's the China Doll out there. She was lookin' directly at me, Annie. Why? She's so beautiful ..." Dolly's voice trailed off in defeat.

"Oh, aye, she's pretty. But Dolly Mahan, so are you. Liam is not about to run off with the kind of person who's exactly like his mother." Annie walked to Dolly and grabbed her gently by the shoulders. "Why do ye think Liam is so in love with ye? And as fer her lookin' at you, perhaps she thinks ye're beautiful, more than she is. Did ye ever think of it that way?

"No."

"I'm askin' ye again, why do ye think Liam is so in love with ye?"

"I'm not quite sure. Why would he choose ... me?" Dolly had lost her confidence.

Annie put her arms around Dolly. "Liam is head over heels for ye, girl, because ye're so real, not made up to look like a doll. Even if ye were dressed as Mary is tonight, ye'd still be real. I have never seen him so happy—ever, Dolly. He's always been so sad. It broke my heart to see him day after day so lonely and unloved. I'm astounded at his transformation since ye came along. He needed to take ye under his wing, to have someone to take care of and nurture. To teach ye how to fly on yer own." Annie kept a hold of Dolly. "I didn't want ye here at first, thinkin' it too dangerous, but I saw how he blossomed and started to make a happy life for himself. As ye can see, nothin' is gettin' in his way. Not his parents and certainly not Mary Tisdale."

Dolly lifted her head from Annie's shoulder to study her face for honesty. Annie's pretty brown eyes displayed that she was telling the truth.

Just then, one of the hired girls came crashing into the kitchen, forcing Dolly and Annie back to the present.

"There's a commotion in the front hall," the girl said. "It seems the son that Mrs. Dady has been prattlin' on about has made his grand entrance."

"Hold yer tongue, girl," Annie said sharply but with a hidden smile.

"Sorry, mum. Well, he just came saunterin' down the stairs, dressed, but yawnin' and bleary-eyed. Apparently he'd been home all day, sleepin' in his own bed. I seen him with me own eyes comin' down the stairs. He's a handsome one, that boy." The girl gazed at Annie with enchantment on her face and then registered Annie's non-verbal admonishment. "Sorry, mum." The enchanted look disappeared. "And she was none too happy, the Mistress." The girl was in full gossip manner.

"Just do yer job," Annie said. "Here, take this plate of wee cakes out to the table and check on the coffee and tea pots."

The girl left the kitchen with the fragrant plate, and Dolly and Annie smiled at each other about the foiled prodigal son return. Dolly cracked open the swinging kitchen door and peeked through to see anything she could.

Unfortunately, Dolly got a big, crushing eyeful. "That Mary Tisdale is fawnin' all over Liam, battin' her eyelashes and flutterin' her—Christmas fan," Dolly exclaimed in a high-pitched, angry hiss to Annie. She heard a flirty giggle from the same direction and snapped her head to look out the door again. A few seconds later her hand went to push the door open but she hesitated.

"Dolly!" Annie whispered. "Get away from that door. You stay in this kitchen."

Dolly pretended not to hear Annie and kept up her vigil. She saw that while Liam was being polite to Mary, he clearly did not want to be engaging with her. Dolly heard Mary nattering to Liam.

"I hear the weather is absolutely frightful in Edinburgh," Mary droned, her head tipped to the side, her closed fan placed on her chin. "I wouldn't live there. I'd much prefer the warm, sunny weather of Tuscany, wouldn't you Liam?"

"I wouldn't know. I've never been to Italy," Liam said politely.

"I'm surprised you haven't. I love to travel. I've been to India."

"How nice for you," he answered.

Impulsively, Dolly pushed through the door into the dining room. She heard Annie's high-pitched whisper again, trying to keep her from going, but go she did.

Dolly saw Liam raise his eyes briefly in her direction. As she glanced in his eyes, she imagined her face was unreadable since Mary Tisdale also turned to look in her direction. She picked up three empty serving plates and moved unobtrusively around guests who were serving themselves. She swiftly retreated into the kitchen behind the still-swinging closed door. She stayed next to the door and stopped it from swinging with her hand.

"My gracious," Dolly heard Mary say through the door. "What was that all about with the servant girl, Liam?"

"I have no notion what you are talkin' about," he said. "I don't pay attention to servants, only what they do." He spoke in the tenor of the high society that he so deeply disliked.

Liam politely took his leave from Mary. "I must go to Cook to see to something. Can you excuse me, Miss Tisdale?"

"Why of course, Liam," Mary said.

After realizing Liam was heading toward the kitchen, Dolly flew into the bedroom off the kitchen. She was fuming with jealous rage. _At least I'm not cryin'. Oh, I do hate that girl!_ Dolly bristled.

Just then Liam came into the bedroom and stood in front of her.

"May I please sit?" Liam asked.

"Do what ye want, Liam," Dolly said tersely. She crossed her arms tightly and turned away from him. Despite this, he sat down close, touching her thigh with his.

"What do ye suggest I do, Dolly?" he asked pointedly. "I know ye know the answers. And I am doin' what I want—to be with _you_ —not Mary Tisdale!"

"She has ...everythin' ..." Dolly's voice got very small, "I don't." She would not look at him.

"She doesn't have everythin'."

"What do ye mean?" She gave him a side glance, feeling a little less bristly.

"She doesn't have me. You do."

He knelt on the floor in front of Dolly, nestling himself in between her knees. He took her face gently in his hands and put his forehead on hers. " _Ye're everything to me_. I want nobody or nothin' if I can't have you." He was whispering. His lips touched hers.

She understood.

For the rest of the evening, Annie ordered Dolly to stay in the kitchen. Meanwhile, for the duration of the soiree, Liam mingled with the rest of the guests keeping Mrs. Dady and especially Mary Tisdale from speculating as to what, if anything was going on between Liam and the hired help.

"Ye're not to go to that door and look out either, ye hear?" Annie declared, pointing a wooden spoon she was stirring a sauce with.

"I don't need to, Annie. I trust Liam."

~~~

Around midnight, all the guests started to leave. The elder Dadys retired right away, and Liam stayed to help the women cleanup. Dolly was as tired as the rest of them, but her demeanor was more positive since Liam had talked with her earlier. Not only that, Mary Tisdale had left the premises and was far away from Liam. The hired help worked diligently until one o'clock, when a cab took them to their homes. Annie decided to wash the remaining pots and pans in the morning after the elder Dadys left for their two weeks in Dublin.

"A very nice man, a Mr. Pirrie, came to the kitchen, Liam," Annie said, "and told us what a nice job we did with the food and drinks. He sincerely thanked us."

"He's the biggest wig of them all at Harland and Wolff, Annie. Ye didn't know that? He's actually a real person. He's Lord Pirrie, as a matter of fact. He was Mayor of Belfast as well." Liam smiled. "I like him."

"Yes, I've heard of Lord Pirrie now that ye mention him. I don't pay attention to politics. That's him then?"

Annie went to bed after her good-nights, and so did Liam and Dolly.

~~~

Up in his bedroom with the door locked, Liam slowly undressed Dolly, lavishing her with kisses. Then Dolly undressed Liam. He wanted the rest of the night to be better than it had been earlier. He felt it had improved greatly since his talk with his jealous Dee.

"Let me hold ye," he whispered as he pulled Dolly to him in his nearly freshly made bed. "I understand it's a tough thing for ye to believe ye're lovable. But ye are."

"It's that I've never lived this way. I don't know how it's supposed to go," she said. She moved away from him a little to see his face as he spoke.

"I can't make ye trust things. Ye're goin' to have to, in yer own mind." He was lying on his side with Dolly facing him. He was stroking her hair around her ear, and her arm was around him, stroking his back.

"Can ye teach me?" she said. She whispered into his neck as she moved closer to him.

He wanted to be as kind and as gentle as possible. "Well, the first thing ye must do is never again think that I'm goin' to choose a girl who's as frivolous and silly as my mother. And I don't need to teach ye anything. Ye already know ye're lovable, and ye already know how to trust me. It's already in ye."

"I think I understand what ye're sayin'."

"I know ye do." He kissed her tenderly.

Wanting to lighten things up with her better mood, he inched her nightgown up in the front and put his cold hand on her buttocks, knowing she couldn't scream.

The cold handmade Dolly thrash and jerk, trying to get away from it. She squealed as quietly as she could.

"Liam! Stop," she whispered but her quiet laughter, along with her kicking and smacking, made him start to laugh as well. It was the first time their foreplay was so "combative" and physical.

"Do ye want me to stop?" he asked.

"No!" she whispered. With all of her squirming, her nightgown was now around her waist.

"May I?" he asked.

"Yes."

Soon both of them were so aroused that they had each other's buttocks in their hands, desperate for the coupling. Her legs were wrapped around his hips.

"I'm so happy, Liam. I want ye bad. I want ye hard."

He felt her open in response to his words about trust. He felt her let go. He roused to her playfulness and laughter. He felt himself cast aside his need to protect her so much now as he thrust hard, deep into her, grunting each time he hit home.

They didn't get much sleep that night, making good use of their new-found trust. It seemed that they were moving into a new phase of their relationship, in spite of Mary Tisdale hanging over them.

~~~

The early morning sun was shining into the lace-curtained window of Liam's room as he dressed to go downstairs for Christmas. Dolly dozed sweetly under the quilt. It seemed to Liam she was luxuriating in her post-coital state. Her eyes fluttered open.

"I have somethin' for ye," he said quietly. "It's for Christmas."

He handed her a small box—a red velvet one, this time.

"I don't have anythin' for ye," Dolly lamented as she propped herself on her hip and elbow, staying covered.

"Don't worry about that. Ye're my gift."

She smiled and opened the box. It was another charm for her necklace.

"It's a wee statue of Lady Liberty," she cooed.

"It'll remind ye of our plans."

"It's so sweet, Liam. I thank ye for it."

He reached over, taking the chain off her neck and putting the new charm on it, then placing it back on her. She reached around his neck and kissed him.

"You know Dolly," he whispered. "I think it was a good thing Mary Tisdale was here last night."

"Why do ye say that?" The statement perked her up.

"Well, think about how our lovemaking was."

"It was really good, Liam. It was ... different. It's different between you and me this morning."

"See?"

"Ummm," she stretched her arms out to him, kissed him once more, and then yawned suddenly.

"Get under the covers and sleep some more," he said.

She rolled to her back and pulled the quilt to her chin. Her eyes closed immediately.

Not wanting to wake her again, he stood, tucked his white dress shirt into his gray wool-flannel trousers, and buttoned them. He then bent quietly over her, kissing her forehead gently and tucking a wheat-colored lock behind her ear. She smiled in her doze. He walked quietly to the door, unlocked it and took one of the two keys on the dresser. He'd told Dolly last night he would lock the door from the outside when he went downstairs, preventing anyone from entering his room unexpectedly while she was there. She would have the second key if she needed to sneak down the back stairs to the kitchen for any reason. She said she didn't plan on moving from his bed. "But I'll need breakfast when ye come back to me."

~~~

The Dadys were in the dining room for Christmas breakfast already, being the chronically timely people they were. Liam greeted his mother and father cordially, sat, and put his napkin on his lap. Annie, who had been waiting near the sideboard, poured his coffee and began to plate his food.

"I'm fine, Annie. I can do this." Liam gently took the serving spoon and plate of fried eggs from her.

"Would anyone else care for anything before I go into the kitchen?" Annie asked. politely.

"No thank you, Annie," Mr. Dady said.

"Then I bid you Happy Christmas." Annie retreated into the kitchen.

"Yes, Annie," Mrs. Dady mumbled. "Thank you. Merry Christmas."

Liam wondered to himself if it had been painful for his mother to be nice to her Catholic cook. He stayed mum, although it pained him to see Annie treated that way.

Turning her attention to her son, Mrs. Dady said, "Don't you think Mary Tisdale's such a dear, Liam? She's quite eligible, you know."

"She's a pretty girl, Mother, but I'm not looking for a fiancée at the present moment. Medical school is quite challenging. I can't afford to be distracted. I'm doing very well, you know."

"But, if you two became betrothed, you could still concentrate on school. At her age, she won't remain eligible for long. You are getting older, you know, and some young man in London—"

"I appreciate the thought, Mother, but I am not yet interested in any betrothal," he interrupted as politely as he could. He had to put an end to this pursuit of hers.

His mother gave a deep sigh.

Liam was as emphatic as decorum allowed. Miraculously, his reply stopped her for the moment. He knew, however, that she was not finished. He'd just have to head her off as more schemes were hatched. He could read her face like an old familiar book. He glanced at her as he reached for the pitcher of freshly squeezed orange juice and poured some in his glass. He could tell that she was formulating her next move with another very brief glimpse at her.

"I should've thought to invite the Tisdale's for breakfast this morning," she said. "Perhaps I'll have them for dinner right after the New Year and before you leave, Liam. I'll send the girl with an invitation this week while we're in Dublin."

_Jesus Christ, Mother._ Liam took a giant gulp of his orange juice, wishing there was a dollop of whiskey in it.

When Liam was finished with his breakfast, the barely-held-together family moved to the parlor to exchange a few gifts. Liam went to the tree and pulled two ribbon-ed boxes for his parents. He had placed them there the night before during cleanup. "Mother, allow me to present you with a Christmas gift," he said politely, handing her a red velvet box with a white ribbon.

She opened it to find a gold chain-link bracelet. "It's lovely, Liam, very nice quality. I shall wear it on New Year's Eve."

"I'm glad you like it," he said. "Father, here's one for you."

Father, a bit flustered at the rare gesture, took the black box marked with the Royal School for Surgeons insignia and opened it to find a gold-plated pen-and-pencil set. They, too, had the school insignia engraved.

Thank you, Liam. Very nice. I'll have them at the firm."

"Very well," Liam replied.

Liam could barely contain himself at the aloofness his parents insisted on maintaining.

"I put this in my pocket just in case you showed up for breakfast," Liam's father said. He pulled out an envelope from his inside breast pocket. "It's your gift from me and your mother. We do recognize your hard work at the School for Surgeons."

Liam took the envelope and opened it. In it was a hundred pounds in smaller notes.

"Thank you, Father, it's quite generous." Liam immediately thought that he would use a portion of this money to buy Dolly's wedding gown. It also occurred to him right then, that he could accelerate his courses in order to finish school, not the following spring, but this time next year. They could have the wedding perhaps on New Year's and then head to America in the spring. Patrick O'Brien's mother was a seamstress, known for her wedding dresses for the Catholic community. He would go to her.

~~~

Once his parents left for Dublin, Liam went into the kitchen to see Annie. She had long finished the breakfast clean-up as well as the pots and pans from last night. She was putting on her coat for West Belfast and her sister's for the holiday.

"When will ye be back?" Liam asked with a little smirk.

"It depends on how quickly my nieces drive me insane and I'm forced to leave." Annie smiled. "I have some food in the icebox for you and Dolly for the next couple of days. After that you'll have to be on your own." She tied her red-plaid woolen shawl around her head and neck and put her gloves on.

"Before ye go, I'd like to give ye this," Liam said. He pulled out a small, wrapped Christmas box from his suit coat pocket and gave it to Annie.

Annie hesitated, gave him a you-shouldn't-have glance. "What's this now?" she said.

"Just a little somethin' for ye, Annie. Ye've put up with my shenanigans for quite some time and I wanted to show my appreciation." He smirked.

"Your boyish charm is alive and well." She feigned reproach.

He smiled and shrugged with one shoulder.

"Thank you," Annie said sweetly. She opened the package with subdued delight. Inside she found a gold chain with a cross. "Oh, Liam," she whispered in awe. "It's so delicate."

He took it from her to put it around her neck. She had to untie the shawl, but she didn't seem to mind. She turned as he reached around to clasp the chain at the back of her neck. She walked to the little mirror in the kitchen and admired the beautiful piece of gold around her neck as he watched, pleased with her happiness.

"It's brilliant. It's a generous and kind gift." She turned and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Happy Christmas, Annie. Go have a nice time at your sister's." He returned the kiss on her cheek and lovingly helped her retie her shawl. He walked her to the cab through the front door hunching in the cold and waved goodbye.

### Chapter 22

Winter had a vicious hold on northern Europe. It had been ten months since baby Ellen was born, and eight since Eva's father had died.

It was just past New Years, and Eva had had more than enough of the confinement. Cabin fever had taken hold of her like the grip of Influenza. The baby had been cranky with a cold for the better part of two weeks. Victor had the same cold now and was equally as cranky and demanding. No one could get in or out easily because of the sub-zero weather. _There's only so much weaving to do, and I can only play so many games of Chinese checkers. I cannot stand to face Victor for another moment,_ Eva yelled inside her head.

With no other recourse besides murdering her annoying, yet otherwise beloved husband, Eva brought some firewood for the stove and shut herself in the spare bedroom for several hours after she had an early _sauna_ that Saturday. With his cold nearly gone, she knew that Victor was perfectly capable of taking care of the baby, except for nursing. After two delicious hours of self-banishment, her breasts began to tingle. She needed Ellen.

"Victor," she snapped when she opened the door, "I need Ellen to feed her."

He brought the baby to her.

"When are you—"

She took her and cut him off as she closed the door, smiling to herself at Victor's perplexed expression.

When the baby had had her fill, she cooed at her for a while, she kissed Ellen on the forehead and called Victor from the bedroom door again.

"Come get Ellen. She is done eating."

Victor came to retrieve Ellen.

"Why are you—"

"She needs changing," Eva interrupted. Then she closed the door.

After this, Eva would come out briefly to get food or to run to the privy, but otherwise forced Victor to fend for himself.

"Eva, aren't you going to cook supper? I am hungry," he said as she walked away from him toward the bedroom with several pieces of firewood in her arm.

On the second day of Eva's self-exile in the spare bedroom, the sun was shining. It filled the house with welcoming winter sunlight. It was mid-morning and Eva had just fed Ellen, played with her for a while, and then handed her back to Victor. She could tell by the glare she received from her husband that he was not at all happy with the arrangement. She shut the door and sat in her rocker with some knitting.

After a short while, she could hear him shuffling and thumping, moving things around in the other room. She couldn't imagine what on earth he was doing, but she was not going to get up to see. A few moments later the noise stopped and Victor burst into the spare room. She yelped and jumped up out of the rocking chair, dropping her knitting.

"That's it," Victor huffed. "Put your coat on. The baby is ready. You are going to visit your mother." He walked over to her, took her by the arm, and swiftly escorted her to the entryway. "I've put Ellen in the sled, so you can pull her to your mother's. She's waiting in the entryway." He had a reindeer pelt lining the sled, wrapped around ten-month-old Ellen, who was already bundled in layers of wool and a rabbit-pelt baby bag. "Get your skis on. The snow may not support your every step."

"I am not going," Eva replied. "You may not scold me."

"Shut up!" he barked.

Angry that Victor had taken this tact with her, she stood stiff as he dressed her, boots, skis, and all. She continued to protest but changed her demeanor to more apologetic.

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring you," she said. "You will agree it was better than hitting you in the head with an iron pan."

"You are beyond apologies, my dear wife." Victor handed her a gnarly-headed wooden walking stick. He was sweating now.

She looked into his eyes. The otherwise companionable couple was now beyond its loving teasing ways. Her good-natured husband seemed beyond cajoling but she tried once more anyway. "I said I was sorry. I don't want to go."

He said nothing more and gently shoved her toward the door by her shoulder. She clomped out of the entryway into the cold air. Victor carried the sled out that contained their daughter. At least, it appeared that Ellen was inside the sled. All Eva could see was a burbling bundle of fur, snuggly secured with a leather strap.

"Victor, I said—" she hissed through her teeth.

Eva tried one more time to say something, but Victor turned away, stomped back to the door, went inside, and slammed it shut. She heard a metal click as he apparently shoved the lock into its sheath from inside. He peered out the nearest window, still with a furrowed brow. He mouthed the word "go," and pointed in the direction of the path to her mother's.

"I am angry with you," she yelled.

Victor pointed to his ear, shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head.

"You know what I said, you brat," she replied. She was aptly defeated and, with her own furrowed brow and mood to match, she huffed through her nose. She picked up the rope for the sled and went on her way, taking the far path to her mother's. Eva grumbled and muttered epithets in the general direction of her husband, whom she decided, had lost his mind.

"Don't listen to me, Ellen, I am saying bad words," she murmured.

~~~

Victor watched her disappear over the rise from the window. He had a second thought or two about what he had done, but he started to laugh, recollecting her dumbfounded expression the whole time he was getting her ready and how he'd shut her up when she tried to speak.

After a few moments of giggling, out of the corner of his eye, Victor caught Hannes walking swiftly down the other path with purpose toward the cabin. Sensing something different in his brother, Victor put on his coat and hat and went to greet him outside the door.

Hannes was winded from the trudge through the lung-irritating air. "I came to warn you about the wolf pack we heard just before dawn," he said. "You're behind this rise and may not have heard them. They seemed quite close." Hannes showed Victor the old Colt repeater tucked in his belt under his coat. "I saw fresh tracks crossing the path from the farm just now heading in the direction of the Maki's. Don't go out."

Victor's chuckling was replaced with a tight, sick feeling in his belly.

~~~

After a minute or so of acclimating to the cold air, Eva found the traversing easy. The weather for the last few weeks had frozen the top layers just under the dusting of snow from a day ago. She would not have needed the skis. Still muttering and preoccupied with her irritation at Victor, she was about halfway on the quarter mile path to her mother's house. The cold air stung her cheeks, so she stopped for a moment to catch her breath and to make sure Ellen's face was protected from the frostbite cold. She bent to readjust Ellen's rabbit-pelt hood when she heard ominous deep-throated growls. It came to her rapidly that she was in deep trouble. She straightened slowly to see four full-grown wolves surrounding her and the baby. Her only weapon was the wooden walking stick. She turned it around to use the big handle at the top.

"I know you are hungry and I'm sorry for it, but you will not do what you want to do." She readied herself to swing the heavy end of the stick.

One of the wolves made the first move. Eva screamed and swung forcefully at the starving, single-minded wolf. She struck the silver-coated female's head. The wolf yelped, but then snarled bare toothed, not backing away. She was emaciated from the lack of food. Each of the wolves took vicious, snapping turns, going for the baby. Eva was terrified, but like a bear cornered by bear dogs, she stood firm over her daughter. She kept swinging and getting good wallops but they kept trying. She kept on screaming, trying to scare the predators away. As she prayed Victor would hear her, she kept on swinging the walking-stick-turned-club, her only hope of saving Ellen.

~~~

"Eva and the baby! I sent them out," Victor said. He ran into the house, grabbed their one-shot pistol and extra cartridges out of the cupboard. Just as he was coming back out, they heard a scream from somewhere up the path to the Maki's.

"EVA!" He ran for her. Hannes followed close behind. Victor thanked God for the hard crust of snow that was fairly easy to run across. As he ran, he continued to hear the screaming. In his panic, he pushed himself with all his might to get to Eva.

He heard his respiration, raggedy and hoarse in the sub-zero temperature.

As he ran up the path, he saw them in the short distance. He heard himself scream in terror, seeing Eva standing over the sled with his baby in it, swinging the walking stick at the attacking wolves.

"Yuri is coming, Victor," Hannes yelled. "Don't shoot too soon. Eva and Ellen are in the way from here."

Victor's sole intention was to get there before the wolves got Ellen. From the Maki house, Yuri arrived at the same moment. At close range now with the wolves not budging, Victor fired his pistol at the closest one to him, killing it. Two other shots rang out. The fourth shot was the end of it. Four wolves lay dead. Hannes had gotten the last one.

Eva scooped Ellen into her arms. The baby, who had been startled by Eva's screaming and the gunshots, was in her own terror. Eva lost her balance and fell on her back, reflexively moving into a fetal position around Ellen. Victor rushed to kneel over his wife and baby. In a protective move, he just lay there, on top of them.

"I'm here ... I'm here ..." Victor repeated over and over.

Through the crying, Yuri began reassuring them.

"It's all over. Everything is all right." A moment went by. "Victor!" He took him by the shoulder and shook him.

Victor looked at Yuri sharply, but the encouraging expression on Yuri's face began to settle him.

"Stand up now," Yuri said. "Let's get you home and safely inside. What the devil were you all doing out here? Didn't you hear the wolves earlier?"

Hannes explained what had happened, as far as he knew. "Victor will have to tell the rest."

"What about these wolves?" Victor asked, looking at the carcasses. He stood and helped Eva up.

"I'll tend to them," Yuri said.

~~~

It was late afternoon, a week after the wolves.

Eva sat on the edge of the bed, her hand on Victor's hip. Victor could not forgive himself for the selfish behavior that pushed his family into danger.

"I'm worried about you. This melancholy ..." she said.

Victor did not respond.

"We didn't hear the wolves. It wasn't your fault." He was lying curled up, facing away. "I could have just as easily gone on my own. I did not hear them the night before." When she got no response, she lay down next to him and spooned. She sighed. "I know you feel horrible for what happened but it was you who saved us. Don't you see? Yuri and Hannes were there to help. It wasn't mine or Ellen's time—to go."

"I'd die trying to save you and the baby," Victor said. His voice cracked from non-use.

"I know you would." She stroked his head behind his ear, twirling a brown curl overgrown from the winter months.

"You must tell me, Eva."

"Tell you what?"

"That you forgive me." He rolled over and looked into her eyes. He studied her face for several moments.

"I already told you—"

"No, you haven't. Say it—" He grasped her forearms.

She shifted around and stretched her body on top of his covering him like a blanket. In a barely audible voice she said, "I forgive you, Victor."

### Chapter 23

Dolly was sitting cross-legged on the bed, combing her hair and reliving their lovemaking from a few hours before, when she heard the key in the lock of the door. She broke out in a beaming smile when she saw Liam walk in. She had put on her night gown just recently. It was chilly outside of the warm, quilted cocoon.

"I'd love a bath," she said, kneeling to hug Liam from the bed. "Not upstairs, though. I feel more comfortable in the tub in the laundry room."

"Sure. Let's go." Liam let go of her hug to help her off the bed, but she purposely kept a tight hold around his neck, preventing him from going anywhere. She laughed at her silliness.

He did, too. "Are we goin' or not?"

"Maybe I want ye again, before a bath." She still had a hold of his neck.

Liam gave her a glance. "I think I can oblige ye." Without warning, he picked her up by her waist, making her squeal in pleasure, and plopped her on her back, his knees straddling her on the bed. He loosened his tie, threw it on the floor, and unbuttoned his shirt while she undid his trousers. Once again, they were desperate for the coupling as they giggled and took off their clothes. She squirmed in pleasure underneath him.

"Oh, Liam," she breathed. Her hands went to his hips after he pushed into her. "I want to feel ye move. It makes me want the sweet release."

"Mmmm ..." he moaned.

Never in her life did she know sex could be so pleasurable. "I ... love you ..." she breathed. Her climax took her breath. She growled with each exquisite pulse. She heard Liam in his climax. He collapsed.

"Oh, my God, Dee. Ye sounded like a baby wildcat growlin'," he laughed.

Minutes later her long locks needed brushing again. Dolly, still feeling impish, rolled towards him and nipped him on the shoulder.

"OW! What's that all about?" He looked at her face with a feigned frown.

"Two can play that, ye wee wildcat." He rubbed the bite mark.

She giggled again and he lunged to nip her on her breast. She squealed. In spite of his enthusiasm, he was gentle in his bite.

"Is that the best ye can do?" she teased. She was out of breath from the giggling.

"Ye want more, do ye?" He reached under her and flipped her over causing fits of giggles once again. As she bounced on the bed, he took hold of one buttock with his teeth and bit just a little harder.

"OW!" she screamed. "Ye're a tally whacker, Liam Dady."

"Well if I am, then I'm yer tally whacker, heart and soul." He pulled her close and kissed her gently. It appeared that he was done with the rough play and wanted to nuzzle her. She softened into the crook of his arm.

After a while, she stirred. "I'm ready for that bath now."

"I'll go draw one. Upstairs or down?"

"Down, please."

Naked, they went down the back stairs to the kitchen. It was cold in the house. No one had shoveled more coal into the boiler in the cellar so Liam ran down to stoke the fire.

"It'll be a while for the water to get hot, so let's get somethin' to eat. Shouldn't you be hungry?"

"Oh, aye, I'm starvin'."

Dolly grabbed her bath robe from the sleeping quarters and put it on and gave Liam a blanket to wrap up in. They sat and ate leftovers at the kitchen table.

"It seems strange without Annie here," Dolly said.

"I'm glad she's not here at the present. Don't think she'd approve of our state of undress." He smiled at his remark and gave a peek in the direction of his lap.

"Well, ye're no doubt right," she remarked. "What are ye lookin' at?" she teased.

"The family jewels. They're a bit shrunk up at the moment, hidin' from the cold." He smiled at her. "They're takin' a rest, as they've been busy for quite some time, now."

She laughed. "I was thinkin' this mornin' when I woke," she said changing the subject, "that I don't know yer full name."

"It's William Michael Dady. I'm not quite named after my father. He's William James Dady. When I started cavorting with the Catholics, those friends started callin' me Liam. It stuck. My parents and family call me William."

"I want to name our first boy after you," she said happily.

"That's sweet. I'd like that."

She smiled back at him and felt heat rise from her neck to her cheeks.

"What's the blushin' for?"

"I shouldn't presume ..."

"Ye're free to presume anythin'."

They gazed at each other with love. Dolly couldn't help but realize the implication of marriage and children. Those wonderful feelings of love and belonging and a real life with William Michael Dady, medical student, were both thrilling and daunting to her.

They munched companionably on cold roast beef, soda bread, and oranges left from the Christmas party. After they cleaned up the lunch, they went to the now-warmer laundry room and filled the tub with steamy, hot water. They sat one at each end and settled in for a long soak.

"I've been thinkin' this mornin', too, Dolly, about maybe speedin' up my courses and gettin' done earlier, perhaps this time next year instead of the followin' June. We can get married and get out of Belfast sooner."

Her interest piqued. "Ye can do that? Will the school let ye?"

"I'd probably stay through the summer. But before ye get too worried, ye'd come to visit next June, while my parents are on their summer holiday."

"Where would I stay?"

"Last Fall, when I went explorin' on a Sunday with Kurt, we found a resort up at the firth, called Portobello. There are hotels and things to do on the beach. Perhaps we could ..."

"Could what?" She took a wash cloth and lavender soap and began to wash herself.

"Big ideas are occurring to me right at this moment." He stared at Dolly, thinking. "My parents gave me a gift of money for Christmas. The first thing I thought of doing with it was to have a dress made for ye. Not just any dress. A weddin' dress, then surprise ye with it."

She sat frozen, mouth half open in astonishment. It was just like when she heard Liam mention going to America. "What are ye sayin'?" she said in a whisper.

"What I'm thinkin' just now is I'll go to school in the summer, and when you come to visit me we'll get married right at Portobello."

Dolly felt afraid, then enthusiastic. "Are ye sure, Liam? Do ye really want me? Am I the one for ye?" Her self-confidence had taken a dive.

"Why would I ask ye then?" Liam pulled her onto him and held her close. "Yes, I want ye to marry me ... if ye'll have me?"

"Well, we are promised, are we not?" She imitated his seriousness. She held him around his waist as she half floated, half lay on him in the water. He reached for the gold heart on the chain with the cross that she never removed. The chain was now holding the miniature Lady Liberty.

"I'm fairly sure we are," he said. As he dangled the heart in his fingers, she floated in closer to kiss him. "Let's go today to see Mary O'Brien, Patrick's mother. She can make ye a fine dress. Would ye like to do that?"

"Oh, aye," she said with childlike enthusiasm. "We have to finish washin'." In a flowing movement, she leaned back to sitting and began to scrub industriously.

He smiled at her. He, too, picked up a wash cloth and dipped it into the water. "Will ye pass the soap?"

~~~

Liam knew Mary O'Brien to be a gregarious, wiry woman who was compelled to be in constant motion. She had to be. She had ten children, Patrick being the oldest.

"Ye've come to order a dress for this sweet girl!" Mary said. She seemed to be studying Dolly's face. "Liam, what a fine choice. When's the big day?"

"Mid-June, perhaps around the fifteenth, in Edinburgh."

"I think we can accommodate ye. It'll be tight, but for you and this angelic girl, anythin's possible."

Mary handed Dolly a stack of drawings from a shelf and led her into the parlor. Once there, the two women sat looking at wedding dress pictures over tea and scones, while Liam and Patrick watched from the kitchen.

"Do ye have an idea of what ye'd like to have?" Mary asked Dolly.

"No. I never dreamed of gettin' married."

"Let's have a look then, dear ..."

Once the women were settled, Liam quietly conferred with Patrick.

"We didn't kill the guy," Patrick whispered at the kitchen table with the door to the parlor closed. They sat huddled, sipping on a shot of whiskey. "We smacked Malachi Leary good, and then told him to find another market to sell in if he knew what was good for him. We told him that we'd watch his every move."

"Annie told me she hasn't seen him at St. George's since ye took him in front of the mansion," Liam said. He felt fairly satisfied with the riddance of young Mr. Leary, the meat monger who had nearly kidnapped Dolly.

"My boys found him in Derry," Patrick said. "He looked to be doin' a brisk business there so he shouldn't be comin' back 'round anytime soon."

Liam offered Patrick a wrapped-and-tied bundle of money to pay him and his boys for the service past, present ... and future. "Stay on him, Paddy. I have a feelin' ..." Liam gazed at Patrick with seriousness. They both knew what would have to be done if Leary returned. Liam didn't like the prospect. He knew that Patrick and his gang, given the violence of their world, wouldn't hesitate. Liam and Patrick finished their shot of whiskey at the same time, and then returned to the parlor with Dolly and Mary.

Dolly wanted to show Liam the picture of the dress she loved the best. "They're all so beautiful, it was hard to choose. Do ye want to look at the pictures?" Dolly asked.

Liam sat down next to her on the settee. "I'll love ye in any of 'em," he said. "Let's see what ye have there."

"Well now, I'll show ye all the pictures, but I won't tell ye which one I chose," she said firmly.

"Ye're havin' a grand time choosin', I can tell," he said, grinning at her.

As he watched the pictures flip by in Dolly's hands, he noticed that she began to fidget with excitement at one picture in particular.

He looked at her and started to laugh. "Now, there's somethin' about this one that's set ye off. Ye're wigglin' in yer seat," he teased.

Without a trace of a warning, she burst into tears. "How are we goin' to do this, Liam?" she cried. "Ye're not Catholic."

"Then, when I go back to Edinburgh, I'll go to the local Catholic Church and start the conversion process. Or, we can have a Judge perform the marriage—"

"I need to be married properly, in the eyes o' God," Dolly said. She was not quite emphatic, but fairly strong.

"Then I'll convert," he said. He held her, soothing her with his words. "To me, it doesn't matter. It's all one God. The name of the church is just a name, and it's no problem for me to become Catholic."

Dolly sniffed as Liam handed her his handkerchief. "Truly? Ye'd do that for me?" She blew her nose.

"Oh, aye." Liam held her until she drew a deep breath and let it out. "Now, let me see this beautiful gown..."

~~~

Liam gave Mary a down-payment of half the cost. After the dress measurements were taken, Mary invited Liam and Dolly to stay for supper. After they ate, Dolly picked out the items she wanted in her trousseau.

"I'll order the material right away, with that down payment," Mary said. "I'll get started as soon as I get it. It's always a mad rush startin' this time of year."

"When do I try it on?" Dolly asked.

"I'll have ye come in April, and a final fitting will be done in May. Then I'll send the entire trousseau in a steamer trunk to Liam in Edinburgh with strict instructions he is not to open it!"

~~~

It was a joyous time for Liam and Dolly. Liam had never known such a feeling in his heart. After several tender and emotional sessions of love making, they lay together deep in the night. They began to chat. The practical side of Liam told him to ask Dolly when the last day of her monthly was. He breathed a sigh of relief when she said it was three days ago.

"Then we have a few more days before ye start to get towards yer fertile time," he said.

"Then after we're married," Dolly said happily, "will we have to worry about gettin' with child?"

"No. We can tell my parents to go to hell. They can't do anything but drop me from their will. That's why I've been working at off-school hours. I'm making a lot of money. So, don't worry about anything."

"What kind of job is it? It doesn't seem like ye're fightin'."

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "I was hopin' ye wouldn't ask me that."

"Why?"

"Because while it's lucrative, it's not exactly legal."

She sat up and looked confused. "Are ye prostitutin' yerself, Liam?"

The question came out of nowhere and shocked him into a guffaw. "No, of course not. Although, I do think I'm very good and would be very excellent. But no, I'm not sellin' my body." He finished with a serious tone. She smiled at his remark.

He sighed in hesitation. "Don't tell Annie. She'll skin me alive." He spoke slowly. "I and two others are workin' for the anatomy professor retrieving cadavers for class. They don't get nearly enough bodies the legal way so we get paid very well for our ... retrieval work."

"What's a cadaver?"

"A—dead body." He cringed slightly.

A cloud of horror darkened Dolly's face. "Jaysus, Liam. Maybe ye should be a prostitute."

Even though she was completely serious, Liam couldn't help but laugh. "Do ye want to know more about it, or do ye want me to stop explainin'?"

"I don't want to hear another word. I'll trust ye to know what ye're doin'." It sounded as if Dolly was not completely convinced but she curled up into the crook of his arm, kissed his breast, and fell fast asleep.

~~~

It took Liam a few minutes to join her in slumber. He stared up at the white, smooth ceiling as his mind raced. He was not happy he had to tell her about his job. But if they were going to be married he couldn't keep anything from her. Another touchy subject was what happened to Leary the stalker. He would have to tell her tomorrow. She would be relieved to hear he wasn't dead, just like when she found out that Shaughnessy wasn't dead. Both nefarious characters still would need watching, though. That's where Patrick and his gang came in handy. While they charged a fee, it was nominal for Liam as a friend.

He heard the clock in the foyer strike four. He could hear Dolly's slow rhythmic breathing and feel her warm breath on his chest. She felt good in his arms. _God, I love ye, Dee_. His feelings for her overwhelmed him at times. He'd do anything for her. And when he thought about Malachi Leary, or Shaughnessy, the operative word became— _anything_. It scared him.

~~~

"It's 1896 this morning," Dolly said to Liam. He was still trying to sleep. She smiled in amusement as he cracked open one blood-shot eye, emitted a short snort, and rolled over to the edge of the bed. "It's not my fault you had too many whiskies," she said. "At least Annie and I did not have to carry ye to the cab."

The night before, the three of them had gone to a New Year's gathering hosted by Patrick and his fellows at a pub in his neighborhood. Quite the crowd had attended.

Dolly was speaking quietly so as not to irritate him any further. She wanted to jump on him and tickle his midriff where he was very sensitive. They hadn't made love when they got home from the party. It was two in the morning, and Liam had fallen asleep right away.

"Are ye tired from the dancin' or the drinkin'?" she asked.

There was an awkward pause.

"Is this an examination I must pass?" A grumpy, muffled voice emerged from the pillow.

"No. I'm just wide awake, is all. I was hopin' for some company." She was using her sweetest voice to try and entice him to make love. She placed her hand on his hip from behind and slid up close. "Come here to me, Liam. Don't ye want me?"

He rolled over and scooped her into his arms. "I want ye forever," he murmured, and then fell back to sleep.

That turned out to be enough for Dolly as she soon fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

### Chapter 24

Winter, not quite forgotten, was replaced by a resplendent, early spring in Finland. It was April, still a bit cold, and now a wedding was being planned.

Eva chatted with Victor at supper one evening. "Mamma told me she gave her blessing to Yuri and Liisa to get married. Mamma sees it as a way for the household to be protected. But she also saw the two practically dying not being able to touch each other all winter." She smiled.

"I remember how that was. There were many times I had to deal with aching testicles. Do you know how that feels?" Victor asked with a wry smile. He took a bite of fresh mutton soup.

"Well, I guess I wouldn't." She returned a wry smile of her own. "I am sorry for you, poor boy. Shall I kiss them the next time it happens?"

"That would be nice. But even better than that, do something before they get to that condition."

That made her laugh. "Mamma has grown to like Yuri. She says he's very respectful. And most of all, she says that Liisa has grown up. She's not so bossy or whiny anymore."

"Unlike you." Victor gave her a fake look of indignation.

"You shut up." She pointed her spoon at him, half smiling.

"See what I mean?"

"Anyway," she said, dismissing him with a wave of a hand, "Mamma thought it would be too cruel to make them wait any longer. He is dedicated to Liisa and working the farm. He's good to Aili, like a big brother."

Eva had learned that Pastor Alve was due on May first, a Saturday, to officiate the wedding. The Mattsons had graciously offered their yard and house, where Eva and Victor had wed. But Liisa dearly wanted to be married under the mountain ash in their yard. Yuri and his parents had decided a Russian Orthodox wedding would be too complicated to arrange, because Liisa would have had to convert. Yuri was not about to wait any longer. As he told Victor, he had paid his dues many times over throughout the winter.

~~~

One evening after chores, Victor was enjoying a laugh or two with Yuri. They were drinking cool homemade beer and sitting in the barn after mucking stalls. "You have been much more restrained than I had been," Victor said between sips on his dark bottle of beer. "A much better man you have been." He looked at Yuri. "I pushed Eva and pushed her until she gave in, but only after I proposed. She ended up being fine." He paused, recollecting that first time he was inside her at _juhannus_ , a memory that gave him butterflies in his belly. He smiled. "You are going to be more than amazed and pleasured beyond belief that first time she opens up to you. And—do you promise _never_ to say anything to Eva or Liisa, if I say this—"

"I truly promise," Yuri said. He shifted to the edge of the bench, rapt and curious.

Victor lowered his voice, and bent toward Yuri even more. "Once Eva knew how—it—felt, she turned insatiable, and still can't keep her hands off me. If Liisa is a _Villi Ruusu_ like Eva, you will be a happy man." Victor smiled, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

"A Wild Rose? You mean pretty and perfect on the outside, but it belies her wildness?"

"Something like that," Victor said. "And bossiness and determination, and stubbornness. All those."

Yuri looked as though he had made up his mind about something. "To hell with waiting one more month. She's wanted me since her father passed away. She's eighteen." He hesitated, fidgeting in his seat. "What should I do?"

"You want to know whether or not you should continue to heed your virtuous mind or your hedonistic desires. Perhaps it's not a question of either or. It's your decision, and Liisa's. You said it yourself. It's only four more weeks. If Liisa gets pregnant, you won't know it for at least two, maybe three months."

"I do want children. So, it won't matter. You wanted children, too."

Yuri, seemingly entranced, handed Victor his mostly-empty bottle of beer and got up.

"Where are you going?" Victor asked.

"I want to find Liisa," Yuri answered. "I'm not waiting anymore."

~~~

A month after Liisa and Yuri's wedding Eva was in the Mattson springhouse fetching a small can of milk to start making a batch of squeaky cheese. She spotted her sister coming up the yard. "Liisa, what are you doing here? Aren't you waiting for the rest of the ewes to lamb at Mamma's?

"Yes, but Yuri and Aili are watching and I said I wanted to come to see you."

"What is it? Is everything all right?" Eva was close to her sister but Liisa had rarely sought Eva out to talk with her alone.

"Of course, it is. I just wanted to talk to someone who knows what it's like to be in ... a marriage bed." Liisa blushed wildly. She could barely keep eye contact with Eva.

The sisters sat on the bench up against the springhouse in the shade of a clump of birch trees.

"Are things well?" Eva asked, taking Liisa's hands in hers.

"They couldn't be better." Liisa smiled, still a bit shy.

"Do you now know, the grand pleasures of it all? Is that what you want to tell someone?" Eva asked supportively.

"Yes," Liisa whispered. "I love it ... I want him all the time now, Eva. Every morning; hiding somewhere; every night. Is there ... something wrong with it?"

"Heavens, no. It's what we married ladies are supposed to do. It's perfectly all right to like it and to _want_ it," Eva reassured her. "God wouldn't have made it pleasurable for just the men. God needs _us_ to make babies too," she explained. "Does Yuri think it's too much?"

"No!" Liisa tittered, eyes going big and bright. She blushed again. "He's crazy about it, too."

"Well, it sounds to me like you two are in love and married."

"Do you think I'll have a baby soon?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Eva said sweetly, putting her hand on Liisa's crimson cheek.

"I didn't tell anyone but Yuri and I started a month before the wedding."

"It will be our little secret then. Well, Yuri's too," Eva whispered, patting Liisa's hand.

Unexpectedly Liisa started to cry. "Even though I am so happy, everything's changed, hasn't it? Pappa's gone. You're married and have a baby. I'm married and will probably have a baby. Eino's gone. Nothing's like it was." As Liisa blinked, tears popped out onto her linen apron.

Eva felt sad at what Liisa had said. The sting in her heart from suddenly hearing Eino's name was sharp.

"Come here, Liisa." Eva held her sister and quickly shoved Eino out of her mind. "I think you are a bit overwhelmed."

Eva wondered if it was more than being overwhelmed. _I wonder if she's pregnant right now,_ Eva thought _._ As she held her sister close and kissed her head, Liisa let it all out onto Eva's shoulder.

~~~

With Liisa and Yuri married and a baby due in January and Hannes taking on more responsibilities at the Mattson farm, Victor unilaterally decided to talk once again of the possibility of going to America.

"In a few years, of course," Victor added at a family dinner one Sunday. "Ellen is too young to be on a boat."

Victor had thought that telling the family early would give everyone time to adjust to their eventual departure. Once they left, they would most likely never return. That thought was never fully broached in their minds.

"No one liked your idea about emigrating," Eva pointed out as they walked home that evening.

"Of course, they are not going to like it. We would be leaving them."

"That's the point," Eva said. "I do not _want_ to leave them."

"Well, I have been thinking about it a lot lately." The truth was that he was thinking about Olga almost constantly to the point of crossing over into his and Eva's lovemaking. Going to America seemed like the final escape.

~~~

That October, Victor made a trip to Rauma for the first time in over a year. He went there to deliver a load of grains to the docks. On his way from the docks, he stopped to see Vilho. Although he enjoyed visiting Vilho, his main objective was to see Olga. He knew it was wrong. But it was impossible to resist any longer.

"How are things on the farm, Victor?" Vilho asked. He and Victor were standing in the blacksmith front store. Vilho poured him a shot of vodka from the bottle he kept in a cupboard for his customers.

"Everything is fine. Eva and I are happy. Our daughter Ellen is nineteen months, walking, and getting into everything." Victor tossed the shot back and Vilho, always his affable self, poured Victor and himself one more.

"It sounds like you two should be ready for another baby then. Olga and I have started to try for another one," he said jovially. "I am very busy here. Go back to say 'hello' to Olga and see my son Arne. He's seventeen months. I remember you and Olga were friends in school. She'll give you something to eat."

_She'll give me something, but it won't be food,_ Victor thought, feeling dark about it. "Why can't you come?"

"I am late with this order. A customer's coming for it very soon."

"How long will you be?"

"At least an hour."

"Thanks for the vodka, I'm not staying long. I need to get back to Eva."

Victor, in a suddenly altered mind frame, left through the back door of the shop. He startled Olga as he opened the door to the cozy house and then slammed it shut and rushed towards her. Olga was in the middle of kneading bread. The little boy was sleeping on a rug with a blanket over him.

"Victor, what are you doing here?" Olga asked anxiously. Her eyes darted around as if she were looking for a way to escape. After a moment, she sighed sharply, and then turned as if to wait for him, her hands covered in flour.

"I have waited long enough to have you again," Victor hissed passionately. "I hate it, that you are married to him."

"I hate it that you are married to Eva," she said angrily.

Taking himself out, he roughly lifted her onto the sideboard. He pulled her skirt up and plunged into her, not caring if she should object. She wrapped her long, lean legs around his thrusting hips, grunting with each hit. He kissed her with ferocity, making his lips tingle. His rhythm was violent as the sideboard thudded against the wall, his assault ending in a powerful orgasm. She dug her fingers into his coat sleeves in her own intense climax. Suddenly the intensity left. Victor felt triumphant.

"You never could say 'I love you.' Can you say it now?" Olga murmured as she kissed him.

"No. I can't. It's wrong."

"But I know you feel it. Don't come back if you can't say it," she demanded half-heartedly.

He kissed her tenderly as an answer, and then tucked himself away in his trousers.

"I won't say it, and I won't come back," he blurted.

He left.

~~~

A week or two later, Victor made a delivery to Niemi's.

"Niemi, I brought your order of rye flour," Victor cordially greeted the Mattson neighbor as he drove up in the buckboard. "How have you been?"

"I am fine, but my older son's children have been passing the mumps to each other."

Before Victor realized what Niemi was saying, a three-year-old boy climbed into the buckboard. Victor picked him up in a friendly hello.

"He has them, Victor. Look at his neck."

"I have to put you down now," Victor said to the boy. "I must go to see my little girl."

A few days later, Ellen became sick and then Victor, too. It moved quickly through Ellen, but Victor became bed-ridden while the disease settled in his testicles.

"You are feverish," Eva said as she nursed him and brought him _mehu_ and beef soup.

"It is very painful; otherwise I would be up and about. I feel guilty I am not helping." _I am feeling guilty but it's not that I am not helping. I am not feeling guilty about having sex with Olga. It's that I betrayed Eva when I did it. I don't think I could bear it if she ever found out. I must never see Olga again._

### Chapter 25

Liam began to prepare to head back to Edinburgh. He wanted to leave before his parents returned from Dublin. He knew his mother still had it in her mind to match him with Mary Tisdale. Annie was the one who delivered the dinner invitation to the Tisdale's, via a cabbie. Liam nipped it in the bud. With the dinner invitation delivered, Liam would not be there to attend. He left an "apology note" to his parents so as not to horribly offend them:

Wanted to get back early. I have more to do this term and wanted to talk to Professors about it. Sorry about the dinner.

Two nights before he left, Dolly was in tears. "But I thought ye'd be here another three days, Liam. I can't do it. I can't."

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I just don't want my mother to believe she'll have her way with this Mary Tisdale obsession of hers."

"What am I to do?"

"Plan, dream about our weddin' this June, work hard, and keep writin' to me. You can study our America book."

"What are ye talkin' about? What America book?"

Liam got out of bed and went to the storage chest at the foot of his bed. He pulled out a rectangular-shaped package. "I almost forgot to give it to you," he said. "It was on the bottom of my carpetbag the whole time. It's a New Year's present then."

Dolly sat up, naked and mussed from love. She took off the tissue paper and inside was a book all about America. She smiled at him with her cheeks still tear stained.

"It has a bit of history, but mostly it's about the land, what kinds of creatures live wild, and the different climates. It even has a section on prairies. Turn to the page."

He helped her find the table of contents, and she turned to the page.

"Look at this, Dolly. It's a drawing of a prairie dog."

"Is it a wee creature?" she asked, completely rapt.

"It's about the size of a cat. They live in wee towns underground. They run through tunnels."

Engrossed now, she flipped through the pages. She appeared to be forgetting her panic about him leaving. He breathed easier.

"Look at the lovely drawin's," she said. "Paintin's really. Thank you, Liam. I'll study this book so I know all about it." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. "I'll still miss ye."

"June will be here before we know it."

~~~

The day before he left for Edinburgh, Liam went out for a couple of hours and came back with something he called "another Christmas and New Year's present all rolled into one."

Dolly was dusting the library when he came home. "But ye already gave me a little Statue of Liberty charm and the America book," she said. "What else could ye have?"

He handed her a dark-red velvet box. She opened it. Her eyes welled as he said: "It's yer engagement ring. It's a topaz—yer birthstone, so ye can wear it here." The topaz was about a half-carat round, in a silver setting.

"It's fer real now, isn't it?" she said. Tears were on the verge of falling from her lashes as she fixed her wide eyes on his.

"There's no goin' back," he whispered in her hair. He slipped the ring on her left-hand ring finger and enveloped her in his arms.

~~~

As soon as he arrived in Edinburgh, Liam discussed his fast-track plan with the school Dean. Liam proposed to rearrange and add to his courses, as well as work through the summer, in order to finish at the end of the year.

"Why do you want to do this, Mr. Dady?" the Dean questioned.

"I'm marrying this summer, and we're emigrating to America. I want to be able to take my degree with me."

The Dean perused Liam's records. "If you believe you are able to handle the work, I see no reason to hold you back. I see by your records that you've proven to be an excellent student so far."

"Thank you, Dean. One thing, though. My father must know nothing of this plan other than I'm working through the summer. I still need his funding. He won't approve of my idea of marrying and emigrating, so I hope you can oblige me, Sir."

"Are you still willing to—work with Smythe?"

"Yes, I'm willing. And I'll want June fifteenth and the week after for my wedding and honeymoon."

"You have it Dady. Good luck."

Liam and the Dean of the Royal School for Surgeons shook on their deal, and Liam went to Mrs. Ferguson's to write to Dolly and let her know the good news.

~~~

With his course schedule in place, Liam steeled himself for a long haul, with the week in June his only break until December. For a life with Dolly he was willing to persevere. After this year, it would all be smooth sailing. Thinking of Dolly would be his strength to be successful.

A week after he arrived in Edinburgh, the students started to filter back. A day before classes would resume, a flood of students washed over the campus like a wave. Kurt returned dejected having had to leave Elise, his fiancée back in Germany.

"I took Elise's virginity on New Year's Eve," Kurt said. He spoke with an air of manhood Liam had not seen before.

Liam smiled at the look of pride on Kurt's face. "Ye sly fox, ye," Liam said.

Kurt snickered. "It was fantastic," he whispered, still reveling. "How was your holiday?"

"A bit like yours," Liam said. "I'll leave it at that."

"Ah-ha!" Kurt yelled in enthusiasm, forgetting his decorum as they talked in the parlor in front of a roaring fire at the boarding house. He cringed while Liam smiled.

~~~

The day after classes started, Liam, Kurt, and Robbie were in Dean Cemetery digging into a new grave at three in the morning. It was cold, but the ground was loose enough. By five o'clock, Liam and Kurt were snug in their beds and excused from early class. It was a lecture on new medicines. They would be able to copy notes taken by the professor's assistant.

After eating dinner, Liam took a nap and was ready at two o'clock to attend a two-hour anatomy laboratory. He decided if he got to sleep after a quick dinner that would make up for the lost time on grave robbing nights. He also got used to sleeping a couple hours before going out after midnight to fetch cadavers after studying. That helped a good deal. Kurt would study downstairs in the parlor so as not to disturb Liam's sleep. The two kept up their study hour every weeknight, on Saturday mornings, and Sunday afternoons. Liam had explained to Kurt how he had doubled up on courses to graduate early. Kurt said he was very amenable to changing his study habits because he liked to work with Liam, the exceptional medical student. Liam also started his studies at the nearest Catholic Church to convert, which meant attending Mass on Sunday mornings and meeting with his sponsor for an hour afterwards. He made sure he always found time to write a few lines each night to both Annie and Dolly. There were still matters he wanted to stay abreast of with Annie. Shaughnessy and Leary, to be exact. They still posed a threat to Dolly.

~~~

The letter from Annie came in early April, the one he had dreaded. She wrote that Malachi Leary had showed up again in the vicinity of the Dady mansion waiting to see or catch Dolly unawares. One of Patrick's boys had followed Leary from his church on a recent Sunday. He went right to the neighborhood, stopping about three blocks away from the Dady's. The spy watched him for about an hour. Leary had spotted the watcher and took off. Early the next day on his way to sell at the market in Derry, Patrick's boys snatched Leary from the isolated road between his farm and Derry. Patrick's boys killed him. Annie didn't know how. They'd put his body deep into the thick woods in a ravine, where no one would discover it for a very long time, if ever. They scrubbed any trace of themselves from the road, relocated the Leary wagon, unhitched the horses so they would go home, and took most of the meats to make it look like a robbery. Dolly had no knowledge of any of it. She had remained blissfully unaware.

Dropping the letter on the coffee table, Liam sat frozen on the sofa, his hands covering his face, unable to bear looking at the letter. Even though he was sitting next to the warm fire in the parlor, a cold shiver traversed his spine. Liam stood, wadded the letter and envelope, put it in the fire, and watched it burn. He suddenly felt ill. He ran to the downstairs bathroom and threw up in the toilet. _Damn Leary! He couldn't stay away_. Liam stood for a few moments leaning on the water tank and breathing heavily. He was still sick to his stomach. He knew in Leary's sick mind, Dolly meant more to him than his own life. Oddly enough, Liam understood that kind love for Dolly, even though it was perverted and taken too far. He ran his hands under the cold-water tap, rinsed his mouth, and splashed his face. Back in the parlor he checked to see if the letter had burned so there would be no evidence of his knowledge of the killing of Malachi Leary. There was no trace of the letter.

~~~

One night, in an out-lying cemetery, Liam, Kurt, and Robert were just finishing filling in a fresh grave when two people tried to take the cadaver they had just retrieved. They surprised Liam and the others as they walked out of the darkness, shovels in hand.

"We'll take that corpse, then," said one of the hooded men.

"I don't believe ye will," Liam said as he walked up to him.

The hood grabbed Liam by the jacket lapels, probably thinking he was going to get somewhere with that move. Little did he know of Liam's prowess in the fight ring.

"Take yer hands off me. I don't want to hurt you," Liam warned.

"You, Dady? You are a milquetoast." The hood snickered and let go.

Liam put his hand on the hood's chest to stop him from walking past. The hood swung a fist but Liam dodged it and landed a jab into the hood's face, knocking him to his arse.

"Didn't I tell ye?" Liam scolded. "Get the hell out before I knock the shite out o' both o' youze."

The hoods did what Liam said, disappearing back into the dark.

Liam was seething the entire ride back.

When he got to the school, he angrily approached Smythe, who explained.

"It's another professor. I know who it is. He tries to encroach on a regular basis."

"I'm not going to risk life and limb fightin' over bodies," Liam said. "Ye'd better square it away with this other professor. It's going to ruin any chances of gettin' what the school needs if the law gets involved."

"I'll talk to the Dean, and he'll take care of whoever else is getting in on it."

"We have this excellent system worked out with bribes and pay-offs. These others don't have that."

"I'll take care of it." Smythe was adamant.

~~~

As spring made its way to Belfast, Dolly was more animated than ever. It was the beginning of May and soon it would be time to see about her last dress fitting with Mary O'Brien. At church the next Sunday, Dolly made arrangements with Mary to come with Annie the following Saturday for the final fitting and have supper with the O'Brien's.

When Saturday came, Dolly and Annie were free for the evening since the Dadys had supper reservations in town with the Tisdale's. Annie decided on a cab because it looked like it was about to rain.

Dolly could see that Annie was greatly amused by her child-like antics in the carriage.

"I remember well how it was, gettin' excited as the day neared," Annie said. "I'm so glad you and Liam asked me to be there with ye, and to stand up for ye."

"I've been countin' the days now, Annie. First, I counted the months, then I went with weeks, then I started at sixty days. It's now down to thirty days." She squealed in excitement as she looked at her ring. "Oh, dear God, it's so beautiful."

"Liam will wire the travel funds to my bank soon," Annie added.

Dolly squealed. She could not help it. Any information about the wedding brought on uncontrollable squeals.

"Be quiet, child," Annie said smiling. "The people we're passin' are lookin' up at the carriage."

At Mary's, Dolly could barely contain herself. She tried on the dress with the proper undergarments, including the corset and the veil. "It's tight! Oh, gosh," Dolly said as she was getting squished into the corset.

"Ye don't have to have it this tight if ye don't want to." Mary giggled at Dolly's animation.

As Dolly came into the parlor to view herself in the mirror, everyone present, including Patrick, gasped at the beauty of her in the off-white, high-necked, lace-covered silk gown. Her hair was pulled up with strands falling down framing her oval-shaped face. Her high-top button shoes were the same color as the dress. Dolly was stunned when she saw herself.

"I never thought I would be wearing something as beautiful as this dress in my life," she said. Her voice broke and faltered as tears rolled down her face.

Mary put her arms around her as Dolly sobbed. "It's a bit overwhelmin' isn't it, child," Mary cooed as she held her, patting her back. Even Annie wiped away a tear or two.

Patrick interjected, "I'll predict Liam cries when he sees ye, darlin'." He moved her away from his mother. "Since I won't be at the nuptials, let me be the first to kiss the bride. Well, other than Liam..." He lifted her veil and kissed her sweetly and quickly on her lips, then wiped away a tear on her cheek with his rough thumb. "God Almighty, ye're beautiful," he said in amazement. "Liam is a blessed man." He gazed at her in a brotherly way and smiled. "No more cryin' now, ye hear?"

Dolly shook her head and gave Patrick a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for what ye did that day on the street. Ye saved me." She whispered as they hugged.

"All right then," Mary gently broke the spell. "Let's get this dress off and pack everything away to send to Liam in Edinburgh." She gently directed Dolly back into the sewing room.

Dolly and Annie helped Mary fold and wrap the entire trousseau in a steamer trunk. Patrick would take it down to the docks to ship it to Liam.

"It just doesn't seem real," Dolly murmured for the one-hundredth time.

~~~

In Edinburgh, Liam was wrapping up the term with final examinations. A letter had come to him recently that he couldn't get out of his mind.

My love,

I just wanted you to know the dress is brilliant. Patrick said you will cry when you see me in it. I hope you are going to like it.

I love you with all my heart,

Dee

One afternoon, Liam gave himself a break to forget the end-of-term work and lay on his bed, dreaming of how the wedding was going to be. He could see Dolly walking toward him, a vision of beauty in her wedding dress. He imagined how he would, on their wedding night, gently remove the dress to make love to her as her husband. After those lovely few moments of imagining, he felt obligated to go back to his studies.

At this point in the term, the class and laboratory work were done. Kurt and Liam and a few others had group study sessions. Mrs. Ferguson set up tables in the large parlor just for that. There were also hours spent in at the Playfair Hall Library finishing up term papers on diagnosis, treatment, and internal medicines. Liam felt alive with all the work. He thrived being busy with it.

He wrote to Dolly:

... I am enjoying the hard work, and I see us living under that Big Sky, me with a thriving practice and you with our growing family ...

One evening Liam and Kurt couldn't stand sitting any longer, overwhelmed with studying.

"Let's go for an hour and have one pint," Kurt suggested. "I'll buy."

"I'm ready to scream," Liam said. "Let's go."

At the pub, they sat and chatted, sipping on their ale.

"How are things going for you, Liam?" Kurt asked.

"I will be glad when this is all over, and I can go home. But first, I can't believe it's almost June fifteenth."

"Are you nervous?"

"Oh, aye. I think it's a combination of nerves and joy," Liam explained. "When ye get married, ye'll know exactly what I mean." He smiled at Kurt.

"I can't wait," Kurt said. He answered Liam with his own smile.

~~~

In preparation for the wedding, Liam had reserved a first-class suite with a water view and beach access at a hotel at the Portobello Resort on the Firth of Forth. He had reserved the room for an entire week. Father MacKenzie, the Priest that converted Liam, would come to their suite for the ceremony, relenting to Liam's preference for a shortened version of the Wedding Mass.

Dolly's trousseau had arrived at the end of May. As promised, Liam had not looked in it. It was at a storage room at the hotel and would be pulled out upon Dolly's and Annie's arrival on June thirteenth. Kurt had accepted Liam's request to be his best man. Both had their suits cleaned and ready for the fifteenth.

~~~

At the same time in Belfast, the elder Dadys were preparing to go to France for a month with the Tisdales. From Liam's letters, Dolly knew they were unable to persuade Liam to join them. Liam wrote to his parents saying he was speeding up his course work as he wanted to graduate early and begin his career as soon as possible. Hence, he was remaining in Edinburgh for the summer and fall and not returning to Belfast until Christmas. Dolly knew his mother wrote back in high hopes of a sooner-than-later wedding between Mary Tisdale and her doctor-son, suggesting that Christmas would be the perfect time to propose.

It still irked Dolly to hear the chatter of Mrs. Dady about Mary Tisdale. "It'll be the wedding of the decade!" Mrs. Dady cried during dinner one evening. It was June eleventh. Dolly inconspicuously left the dining room, stalked off to her bedroom, and fumed. Annie followed her in at the appropriate time so as not to alert the ever-vigilant Mrs. Dady.

"She riles me so, Annie. Why is she so mad for Liam to marry Mary Tisdale?" Dolly bristled.

"Do I need to remind ye," Annie said curtly, "that shortly we'll be on the boat goin' to _yer_ weddin' to the very man his mother thinks is marryin' Mary Tisdale?"

"In two days," Dolly said with renewed happiness. "It's just sometimes it crosses my mind that I'm not _her_ choice. I'm just her servant, 'the girl.'"

"Ye can't ever change what's in that woman's mind. It's so closed off," Annie said. "I know it's not the storybook weddin' where the boy's mother and father welcome ye with open arms, and I'm sorry for that. But, child, who counts here? Who's chosen you, the real beauty, over a self-indulgent pretty girl?"

Dolly sat on her bed wringing her hands. She looked up at Annie. "Liam. It's me he's chosen," she said quietly with a faint smile. Her thoughts went inward to Liam. She looked at the ring on her left hand. Her heart soared and she began to tear up, emitting a joyous noise that was more of a sob.

"They'll be leavin' in an hour. Then you and I can make our final preparations and board our boat the day after tomorrow."

"It will be a bad day, Annie, when the Dadys find out Liam married me."

"Well, we'd best be prepared for it, darlin'. I'm sure Liam has planned well of what will come after."

~~~

Dolly ran to the exit before the train stopped and was ready to jump off the steps when it came to a stop in Edinburgh. Liam and Kurt greeted her and Annie on June thirteenth. It was sunny and warm and felt deliciously of summer.

"Liam!" Dolly fell into his arms from the step.

He twirled her around in a full circle. He kissed her long and hard leaving her breathless as he placed her on her feet.

"God, I can't believe ye're here." Liam took her face in his hands and studied her.

"I can't talk, Liam," Dolly said. "Ye have my face squashed in yer hands."

He let go, but grabbed her again in another embrace.

"You must be Mrs. MacDonald," Kurt said to Annie. He extended his hand, taking Annie's and kissing it. "I am Kurt Meyer, Liam's friend and fellow boarder."

"Call me Annie, and I'm quite pleased to meet ye," Annie said cordially.

"Do you think we can pry them apart to go have dinner?" Kurt spoke so Liam and Dolly could hear.

"I'm not sure," Annie said. "It's been a long time since New Year's. Liam," she called, "are ye not goin' to say 'hello' to me?"

Liam looked up from his embrace, smiled, and opened an arm to pull her in. Annie shrugged at Kurt, hesitated for a moment, and then stepped into the proffered arm of Liam. "I heard ye the whole time, and of course I'm goin' to say 'hello,'" Liam said. Dolly allowed Liam the other arm to embrace Annie properly.

The four of them had a beautiful dinner of seafood at the hotel dining room. They had a gorgeous view of the firth and the resort beach. Dolly gorged herself on broiled salmon, potato cakes, and fresh salad greens. They talked, laughed, and shared two bottles of French champagne. The alcohol made Dolly's nose tickle on her first sip.

"Liam, I do believe I am completely charmed by your bride-to-be," Kurt said. He lifted his half-empty champagne glass to Dolly.

"Are ye plannin' a weddin' yerself, Mr. Meyer?" Dolly asked. She felt a little self-conscious at his attention.

"Yes, my Elise and I are planning an autumn wedding next year."

"That sounds lovely."

She looked at Liam whose eyes suddenly burned with his need for her.

Kurt stood. "I will take my leave now, Liam and ladies. I will be back here at the set time tomorrow."

"And I," Annie spoke up, "am in need of a nap. I will see you two tomorrow."

"Goodnight Annie," Liam replied.

~~~

Not wanting to wait another second more, Dolly and Liam, finally alone in their room, took their clothes off. Liam felt the need overcome him.

"I missed you so much," he whispered huskily. He pulled her body to him and pushed his hardness into her.

Her legs parted as she stood, as though to let him closer to where he wanted to go. "I missed ye too. I want ye bad," she responded and pulled him to the bed.

"Ye feel so good. I want to go deeper ..." He pushed into her with wild abandon, moaning with each thrust.

She whimpered and held onto Liam's hips with her legs, pushing up, meeting his wild thrusts.

The quick orgasm hit him like a tidal wave. When it faded, he lay spent on top of her.

"I thought I was goin' to faint," she told him of her climax after a few moments.

~~~

The night before the wedding, Liam and Dolly made love. "Stay with me tonight," Liam pleaded as they finished.

"I can't, Liam. I want to get ready for the weddin' without ye seein' me all mornin'. I have to take my bath tonight, too."

Liam, still lying naked and wanting more, reluctantly let her get out of bed to put her robe on. He then rose out of bed to escort her to Annie's room across the hall, relieved that no one in the hall saw her in her robe.

~~~

Everything had been meticulously planned. Both Dolly and Annie would take a bath and dry their hair the night before. Annie and Dolly would have breakfast together, as would Kurt and Liam. The wedding would be at one o'clock. The four would then have a dinner in the dining room to celebrate. After that, Liam and Dolly would say good-bye to Kurt and Annie. Kurt would head home to Germany for the summer, and Annie would be leaving the next morning for Glasgow and the boat back to Belfast. Then, Liam and Dolly would be inseparable for one week for their honeymoon.

The morning of the wedding, room service came to Annie's door at seven with a light breakfast. An hour and a half before the ceremony, they came again, this time with cucumber sandwiches, tea, and blueberry scones.

"This is so lovely," Dolly said. "I just realized I'm starvin' even after the breakfast we had."

"It's yer nerves, Dolly. I always eat when I'm nervous. And I remembered eatin' like a horse when I got pregnant and didn't yet know."

"Well, I don't think I'm that yet, but I really do want some of those wee sandwiches on that plate. Or should I have that steamin' scone with a heap o' whipped cream on it? All right, I'll have both." She giggled.

"I think I will too," Annie joined her.

~~~

After having a bite to eat, Dolly sat down at the dresser so Annie could put her hair up. As Annie brushed Dolly's long, shiny, hair she remarked, "I've never seen hair so golden. It's the color of wheat fields just before harvest." A few strokes later, she said, "Do ye really want to have it up completely? I could put half up, and have the rest down. It's up to you."

"Could ye put it all up and then don't put so many pins in, so it's easy to take out?" Dolly blushed at the inference. She didn't want to have to fuss with too many pins when she and Liam would disrobe for their wedding night bliss. Just the thought of this made Dolly's belly tickle and roused her so much that she couldn't wait for them to be alone again.

Dolly sighed. "I will be Mrs. William Michael Dady in just a wee while, Annie. I still can't believe it's real."

"What will ye call yerself?" Annie asked. She continued to pin up Dolly's hair lock by lock.

"I like Dolly Mahan Dady. That's how I'll sign things if I don't sign 'em Mrs. William M. Dady."

"When Liam gets his degree, he'll be Dr. Dady," Annie said. "Then you two will be Dr. and Mrs. Dady."

"I didn't think of that," Dolly said, feeling joyful at the thought. Just after that happy thought, however, a black thought came creeping into her consciousness. _Why do I feel like I'm doin' somethin' wrong?_

"What is troublin' ye, Dolly?" Annie asked.

Dolly looked at Annie in the mirror. "Mrs. Dady ..."

"Oh, aye. You and Liam are not children. She can't do a thing about this union. It'll be blessed in the eyes o' God, darlin'. And I know He has more authority than Molly Dady."

"I love Liam more than anythin'."

"I know ye do. Now let's get ready and get this weddin' done."

~~~

Liam was ready by one o' clock. He had Kurt check to see if the ladies were ready. He heard Kurt speak to them through the crack in their open door. "We'll want you ladies to join us out on the beach a little way. Just go through the patio off the suite."

Kurt reported to Liam that they would be there momentarily, and they both headed out with Father MacKenzie who had arrived fifteen minutes prior.

The sun was blissfully shining. Not a cloud was in the June sky. The sea breeze was light and fragrant.

When Liam feasted his eyes on Dolly, all time stopped. She was so beautiful, tears welled in his eyes.

"Oh, God in heaven," he whispered. It was a short prayer of thanks. _How could I be this deservin'?_

He held out his hand to her as she came close. Both were shaking. He was overwhelmed at the transformation. "Ye're so gorgeous."

"Ye're so handsome, Liam," she said. As she tried lifting her lace veil, he came to her assistance. Liam had a black formal suit and vest with a starched white shirt and black tie. Both men had boutonnières of red roses that matched Dolly's bouquet. Liam had left a bouquet tied in creamy-white lacey ribbon on the table next to the patio door. On top of the bouquet was a note saying, "These are for my beautiful bride."

"And look around," he said to Dolly. "Do ye see Mary Tisdale or my mother ready to knock ye out of the way?"

Both of them tittered, turning into a brief fit of giggles, nerves softening. Even Annie attempted to stifle a chortle.

Father MacKenzie gently cleared his throat to give a signal he was ready.

"Dearly beloved. . ." he began.

Dolly and Liam stood facing each other, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes as they listened to the Father's words and repeated them.

"Do you, William Michael, take Dolly Mahan, to have and to hold ..."

"I do," Liam said strongly, gazing into the beautiful green eyes of his bride.

Liam repeated the last, "...'til death us do part." As he repeated his vows, he slid a silver wedding ring on Dolly's left finger.

"I didn't know ye had one," she whispered.

Just before it was Dolly's turn to say her vows, Annie touched her shoulder. Dolly turned to have Annie slip Liam's wedding band into her hand. It was matching silver.

"Do you, Dolly Mahan, take William Michael to have and to hold ..."

"I do," Dolly said in a soft sweet voice. She slipped the ring on Liam's left ring finger. "For richer, for poorer ... 'til death us do part," she finished.

Father MacKenzie continued: "Lord, bless and consecrate this groom and bride in their love for each other. We ask this blessing for them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss your bride, son."

Holding her face with his hands, Liam tenderly kissed her.

"Ye're my wife now," he whispered. "We did it." He lost his composure and tears rolled down his face in utter joy. Dolly joined him. So did Annie, standing by their side, while the musicians played a love song.

"It's time for a celebration drink," Kurt said. He started to usher everyone back to the room for some champagne.

"Will you all give Dolly and me a few minutes alone?" Liam asked. "We'll join ye momentarily."

They were obliging.

"Father, come join us," Kurt said.

Liam waited til they were alone. "I wanted to say things to ye, but I'm speechless."

"I never, ever thought I could feel this happy," Dolly said.

Both knew that if anymore was said, more tears would fall.

They stood arm in arm gazing at the beautiful day and the white and gray gulls flying over. The gentle sea breeze kissed their faces and the sun shone down. They hadn't noticed the small group of beach walkers who had gathered during the ceremony.

"Where did they come from?" Liam said.

"I don't know," Dolly answered, blushing.

Kurt called from the patio. Dolly and Liam kissed and turned to walk to a glass of champagne and a wedding toast.

~~~

Liam pulled his watch out of his trouser pocket. It was five o'clock in the afternoon after a private meal for the wedding party when Kurt parted from the ecstatic couple. He shook Liam's hand and kissed both the bride and Annie on the knuckles in a grand gesture.

"I'll see you this fall, Kurt," Liam said. "Marry Elise." He got a wide grin from the retreating Kurt.

"Don't worry. I will," Kurt yelled over his shoulder.

Annie retired to her own room after kissing the newly-weds. "I love you both," she said. "I'll see ye at Christmas, Liam. Dolly, I'll see ye in a week's time."

"I am so happy you were with us, Annie," Liam said, kissing and hugging her again. He escorted her across the hall and then went back to his room with Dolly. He had arranged for Annie's small trunk to be put on a cab tomorrow after breakfast and she would be taken to the train for Glasgow and her boat for Belfast.

Liam and Dolly were in their own blissful world, slowly undressing each other, carefully putting things away.

"I feel different," she whispered. She put her arms around Liam's middle. They were completely naked.

"So do I," Liam said. He felt himself rouse to the thought of being married to the love of his life. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. They lay next to each other crossways like the very first time they met, at the brothel on Liam's birthday a year ago.

"You were an angel in yer dress today. I'll never forget how ye looked," he whispered, feeling his wanting grow stronger.

She climbed on top, straddling his mid-section. She put his hands on her creamy, soft breasts, much fuller than back then.

"Ye're a lot different now," he said. "Not so skinny. Ye smell nicer, too." They both smiled. Liam was remembering what he said and did a year ago while they found themselves reenacting those first moments together. "Does that feel good?" he asked. His fingers traced around her now-taut nipples, making her shiver. She was breathing deeper.

"Oh, aye, it does," she said. Her hips started to gyrate gently against him. "Does that feel good?"

He breathed in deep, and then exhaled as he said, "Oh, aye." He was beyond talking. What he desired most was to be in that place where he could love the best. "Please, let me."

She leaned forward so Liam could push inside her. She whispered in his ear as she set their rhythm. "Ye make me feel good, Liam."

In a short while, he could feel it rising from the depths of his being, his soul. When the wave exquisitely wracked his body, he held her close, feeling the new and pleasing presence of his wedding ring on his left hand.

~~~

"Ye'll tell me if ye get with child," Liam said a long while later. She lay on top of him in the late hours of the Scottish summer dim. "Ye got yer monthly two weeks ago. I know ye're not safe. I'll come right home. We'll think of somethin' else to do for our lives."

"Ye're almost finished with school, Liam. Ye've worked so hard to get here. It's just a few more months."

"Please, ye'll tell me, then. I don't want ye to go through anythin' in my parents' house that serious without me."

"When the time comes ... I'll tell ye." She rolled to her back, pulling him on top.

~~~

The day after their wedding was sunny and warm. Liam and Dolly decided to get some swimwear and head for the water's edge outside their suite.

"I don't know how to swim, Liam, so don't leave me."

"Ye're not scared, are ye?"

"Of course, I am. I've never been in any water. The firth is so big."

"Well, I guess we can just warm ourselves in the sun," Liam suggested. "Not too many people are in the water. It must be cold."

~~~

Liam and Dolly lay in the sun drowsily holding hands in joy with each other's presence. After a while, Liam, who had been lying on his belly, touched Dolly to see if she was awake.

Stretching languorously, she responded to his touch by rolling toward him from her back. "What is it, my love?"

"Do ye want to go inside—where it's a bit more private? I've been lying here next to ye, lookin' at yer skin and breasts, and yer body, and I want ye now."

"Hmmm?" she responded sexily. They made eye contact. They hopped up from the beach blanket. He quickly grabbed a near-by towel to hide his desire from the public, which acted more like a red flag. Someone from nearby yelled as they walked through their patio door, "Was wonderin' how long it would take for you two to go back in!"

Liam was red-faced and Dolly gasped at the comment. They closed the door with a slam, locked it, and pulled the curtains shut. Then they burst into laughter and flopped on the bed.

~~~

Somewhere in the afternoon, they both woke feeling ravenous.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a whole chicken, or pig, or cow," Dolly said. She sat up from the bed. "OW! What's wrong? I feel like I'm on fire, Liam."

He rolled over and winced. "Christ, my back is burnin'. I think we were in the sun too long." He looked at Dolly to see a red face, neck, and arms. "Look in the mirror at yerself."

Going to the mirror she exclaimed, "Oh, God." Her normally creamy white skin was red all over. She looked at Liam, who joined her at the mirror. "You too, Liam. Ye're all covered with it on yer belly and back. What can we do?" she asked.

"Aloe is good for burns in general. Let's see if there's an apothecary here at the resort. I'll ring the bell for room service."

About an hour later, they were gently treating each other with aloe. The hotel had retrieved some from a nearby apothecary, who had copious amounts on hand for the resort clientele who happened to stay out in the sun too long. After covering themselves with the treatment, they dressed with care for supper in the dining room.

As Liam and Dolly entered the dining area, a few of the diners appeared to recognize them. Liam assumed they had been in the audience of bystanders earlier that day. The fellow diners smiled sweetly and then looked in sympathy at their sunburns. All Liam could do was shrug in response. Even though it was uncomfortable, he felt healthy, alive, and in love. The waiter came to them, all smiles.

"So, you two are the newly-weds who had the ceremony on the beach. You are the talk of the resort."

Dolly cringed, eyes wide in horror.

"Not bad talk, I hope," Liam said.

"Oh, no, mum, sir. It's quite the contrary." The waiter poured them each a glass of chilled white wine and asked what they were hungry for.

~~~

That night in bed was rather uneventful. They were too sun burned to frolic much. Each obliged the other orally and they fell asleep satisfied, waking up late morning.

Liam rolled over to find Dolly sitting cross-legged on the bed, looking dejected. He sat up, wanting to know what was on her mind.

"We have four days left," she said. "Then I have to go." She was a bit pouty.

Liam wanted no sadness and said with enthusiasm, "So then, let's do all we can in these four days."

"First I'd like some breakfast. Then, can we go see the castle on the hill? Do they let ye in to see?" she asked, perking up a bit with Liam's attempt at rousing her from her mood.

"Sure, we can. I can even take ye to see my school, and where Kurt and I live. Would ye like that?"

"Oh, aye. It'd be grand, Liam. Then I'll know where my letters are goin'. I've always wondered about what everythin' looked like and wished I were a part of yer life here."

"Maybe you'll be more a part of these next six months coming, seeing where I live and the streets I walk and the Hall where my classes are."

They washed in a warm bath, being careful of the sunburns. They applied their aloe when their skin was dry, then got dressed and headed to the dining room.

On their way to the table, Liam spotted a familiar face, one that filled him with dread. It was William James Pirrie, former Lord Mayor of Belfast and recent Chairman of Harland and Wolff. Lord Pirrie had been to Liam's house many times and was always nice to him. He would say to Liam's father, "William, you've a great son here, you don't treat him well. I've seen you. You're a hell of a vice-president and you get a lot out of your department, but you're not a good father."

Liam was always shocked at Lord Pirrie's bluntness with his father. Nevertheless, he liked the man.

Pirrie spotted him, so he had to pay his respects. He brought Dolly along. "Good morning, Lord Pirrie. I trust you're having a lovely holiday."

"Young Mr. Dady, it's good to see you. Who's the lovely lady with you?" Lord Pirrie asked.

"Before I answer you, I am imploring you not to let my father or mother know anything I divulge."

"I've always liked you, Liam, and thought your father treated you poorly. You have my word."

"This is my wife, Dolly Mahan Dady."

"This is ... interesting, Liam. I take it your parents disapprove." Lord Pirrie looked impressed that Liam had defied his father. He turned his attention to Dolly. "It's my pleasure, my dear. You're quite beautiful." He stood and took Dolly's shaking hand, kissing it cordially. "Don't worry Mrs. Dady," he said quietly. "Your secret is safe with me."

"I Thank ye, sir," she responded.

"You look familiar to me," Lord Pirrie said. He thought for a few moments and then got it. "At the Dady's—Good God, Liam, it's your mother's housekeeper. Good for you. I heard she wanted you to hook up with Mary Tisdale. Frightful girl, very spoiled." He smiled at Dolly. "You're most assuredly not meant for servitude, my dear."

Liam and Dolly stood frozen and crimson-faced at Lord Pirrie's bluntness and amusement.

"I have a favor to ask of you, Liam." Lord Pirrie turned to the woman sitting next to him at the table. "This is Miss Daily, my ... companion. My wife thinks I'm in Liverpool for two weeks, on business."

Liam felt an instant yet odd kindred spirit with Pirrie, not that he would cheat on his wife at any time. "Sir, I appreciate the discretion on your part and you'll have mine in return."

"Thank you. Do have a nice stay, Liam. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Dady."

Liam nodded his head and Dolly smiled faintly. They turned to go to their table.

They were seated next to the window where they liked to be but the mood was spoiled with the meeting of Lord Pirrie.

"I believe I can trust him," Liam said. "He's always been kind to me."

He saw the worry in Dolly's face and reached out his hand to her. "Dolly, let's get the enjoyment back for our four days. It'll be fine. I trust Lord Pirrie." He repeated himself with confidence and made her look at him, smiling to bring her back. She responded with a small smile as she squeezed his hand.

"I'll be fine," she said. "It just scared me, that's all. Let's have breakfast. I'm still famished." Her smile got bigger. "Tomorrow, we'll go see yer school."

~~~

Seeing Lord Pirrie that morning put a bit of a pall over Liam and Dolly. They took a long stroll later in the evening, which helped. The sweet fragrance of the sea and the silly antics of the laughing gulls took their mind off the unexpected meeting. It felt good to stretch their muscles. They knew by now, though, that the only thing that would dissolve the dark cloud was to plunge into each other's souls through their coupling, the ultimate expression of their love for each other. It burned hot and pure. Nothing in their minds could change that knowledge.

Very early that morning, still awake, Liam took a quilt and blanket and led Dolly quietly outside to the water's edge. He knew no one would be awake at four o'clock. Dolly kept her nightgown on but Liam pulled it up to her waist, exposing the most essential part of her body. With only the sound of waves in their ears and the cool breeze washing over them, they merged souls and became one flesh in a holy union he knew no other human being could ever break.

"I'll love ye forever, Liam," she whispered in his ear.

"I'll love ye forever, I promise."

"I know ye will."

Feeling reborn as one, they went back to their room in good spirits and full of love, and fell asleep until late morning, arms and legs intertwined.

~~~

After a late breakfast of eggs, bacon, fresh squeezed orange juice, and coffee, Liam took Dolly to his boarding house by cab. Once there, Mrs. Ferguson made them tea and served blueberry scones and whipped cream, to Dolly's delight.

"Mrs. Ferguson, yer scones are heavenly, "Dolly said. "I don't believe I've ever tasted a better one." She spoke between bites.

"Ye're too kind, Mrs. Dady. I'm so happy Liam has brought ye here to meet me. Thank ye, dear." Mrs. Ferguson nodded at Liam. "So, tell me, will ye settle in Belfast?"

"We are planning to immigrate to America, Mrs. Ferguson," Dolly replied.

"Are ye now? That's somethin' that takes a good amount of darin'."

"Oh, aye, but Liam and I want a whole new life together. His parents—" Dolly stopped short and looked at Liam.

"That's all right darlin'," Liam said. "Mrs. Ferguson, what Dolly was going to say was my parents would not approve of this marriage. We've gone through with it without their knowledge or consent. So, when I am fully graduated, we're leavin' Belfast and this part of the world."

After two hours of good conversation, which included Mrs. Ferguson fawning over the newly-weds, Liam and Dolly bid her goodbye.

As they stood at the door of Liam's home away from home, Mrs. Ferguson turned to Dolly. "Ye're such a beauty," she said. "I wish ye all the best life has for ye." She gave Dolly a fierce hug. "I'll take care o' Liam for ye, count on it."

"I Thank ye, Mrs. Ferguson."

~~~

Liam and Dolly headed for the other sites of historic Edinburgh, walking part of the Royal Mile, touring Holyrood and its gardens, and visiting The Royal School for Surgeons and its museum of "human bits and pieces," as Dolly called them.

"I see two things in yer face, Dolly," Liam said as he watched her in the museum.

"What's that, Liam?"

"Ye're completely fascinated by what ye're seein', and at the same time it horrifies ye."

"Oh, aye. I've never seen an eyeball, or a two-headed baby," she said. "It's disgustin'. Is it good or bad, that I'm horrified?"

"Neither. It's funny," he answered with a wry smile.

"Shut up," she whispered grumpily. Their voices echoed in the room. "Just give me yer arm."

Liam, still amused by her facial expressions, escorted her around the rest of the macabre museum. Her arm remained tightly wrapped around his.

"Do ye take these out of their bottles and study them?" she asked quietly.

"No, we study real bodies, from the morgues and graves," he whispered near her ear, and then looked at her with a slight smirk.

"It's more of the 'job' ye have," she whispered back in his ear, still looking both horrified and intrigued.

He nodded.

She shivered. "Let's go, Liam."

"Fine."

~~~

For a bit of lunch, they went to the pub that Liam and Kurt frequented. They had the special of the day, a fresh seafood chowder, which was hot and delectable. A shared bottle of white wine took away their desire to walk or go anywhere else but back to Portobello.

Liam leaned close to her at their small table next to the window. "This wine is making me want ye."

She looked into his eyes, "Me, too."

"I'll take care of the bill, then we can go."

"Let's hurry."

They had supper in their suite much later that late evening, brought by room service.

The rest of their time together was spent entirely in bed.

~~~

It was not easy for either of them—the parting. Each one could barely speak.

"It was a beautiful time and I'll be with you soon," Liam murmured into Dolly's hair as the passenger steamer in Glasgow signaled the passengers to board. He had ridden the train with her to see her safe. They had spent the entire train ride in silence, holding on to each other. They held on now until the last signal. Then Dolly, with tears rolling down her face, turned to walk up the gangway.

"I'll see ye soon, Mrs. Dady," Liam called loudly.

She turned to wave from the main deck railing. They both managed a smile. "I love ye, Mr. Dady. See ye soon."

"That's very sweet," a voice said to Liam. Its owner, Lord Pirrie, passed Liam on his way to the gangway. He stopped momentarily. "Is she traveling alone?" he asked.

"Aye sir, she is." Liam answered, wishing he were going.

"If you'll allow me, I will be an escort for her on the ship and make sure she gets a cab at the docks in Belfast."

"I'd be indebted to ye, Lord Mayor, if ye'd be so kind."

"Then, consider her safe at home."

Liam shook his hand. It was a warm and trustworthy grasp. "Thank you."

As Pirrie caught up with Dolly and informed her of the arrangement, Dolly looked to Liam for reassurance. Liam looked up and gave her a reassuring smile.

Liam watched as Pirrie escorted her inside a door to what Liam assumed would be her room.

Liam remained at the dock to watch the steamer chug for Belfast, heading west to the North Channel. Finally, it disappeared on the horizon.

Disconsolate, he boarded the train bound for Edinburgh. He found an empty passenger car, sat in a corner, and sobbed. When he had cried himself out, he set a steely resolve to do the work ahead between now and his reunion with his wife in December. _I'm full of joy. She's my wife,_ he thought. His heartache lessened.

Rocked rhythmically by the train, he fell asleep until the conductor woke him at the main Edinburgh station. It had started to rain. _How appropriate_ , Liam thought. He hailed a cab and went to the boarding house to plan out the rest of his time at the Royal School for Surgeons.

~~~

On the steamer heading west across the North Channel, Lord Pirrie talked Dolly into having a beverage with him in the lounge before she went to her room.

"What would you like, Mrs. Dady?" Pirrie asked cordially. They sat at a small table.

"I would love hot chamomile tea," she said. She glanced at him and noticed he seemed excited about the casual teatime.

"Nothing stronger?" Pirrie inquired, looking at her with an eyebrow raised.

She looked at him and detected a possible play on her. She remembered what Liam had said to her the night he came back from Shaughnessy's. "Don't ever stand down to a man, ever again."

"No thank you, Lord Pirrie. I'm not in the frame of mind to celebrate. I just left my husband from our honeymoon and I won't see him for six months."

"That's a long time," Pirrie pointed out, with his eyebrow still raised.

"Yes, it is," she said. "Please don't think that I'm goin' to be another 'Miss Daily' for ye, Lord Pirrie. I love Liam more than anythin'." She took a sip from her cup, looking directly into his eyes.

"I see, Mrs. Dady. You see, you are so beautiful, and I've known you to seem quite vulnerable. I admit I have been attracted to you."

"And now?"

"And now, I see that you are not interested in any invitation on my part. One can't blame a man for trying." Lord Pirrie's tone changed from enticement to respectful resignation.

"I won't say anythin' to Liam, if ye let this go. He has an admiration for ye, Lord Pirrie. He sees ye as a friend. Don't let him ever think otherwise."

"Your wisdom and strength have taken me by surprise, Mrs. Dady. Please accept my apologies. I won't pursue any longer, but I still hold that you are beautiful, and Liam is a lucky man."

"Well, I can't tell ye what to think."

After coming to that crucial understanding, Dolly Mahan Dady and William Pirrie sat chatting as they drank the beverage of their choice. He then politely escorted her to her room.

"I do believe I have a new-found respect and admiration for you, Mrs. Dady. It's not often that I'm turned down. Most women I approach can't resist. You are one of the first who has. Goodnight, sweet lady." He gave a slight bow and took his leave as she entered her room and closed the door.

As she sat in a plush club chair, she, too, had a newfound respect and admiration. Not for Lord Pirrie, but for herself.

### Chapter 26

It was November, just over a year since Victor had last gone to Rauma. He was making one last trip into town before a harsh winter set in for both families on the Mattson Farm. There were several errands including a trip to city hall, the purchase of household and farm supplies, and a new wrought iron door latch for his father's _sauna_ door. Victor was going alone and this trip meant he had to go to the blacksmith. Much to his dread, there was no way around it. There was not a spare door latch to be found at either farm. Everyone else had winter preparation chores to do and could not be spared. Victor would be taking the official paperwork to register his and Eva's wedding, Yuri and Liisa's wedding, Olli's death certificate, and Ellen's birth certificate.

"Can't Hannes go?" Eva asked as they were getting ready for bed the night before.

"I have been a coward about running into Salmi for too long. I have to."

That was a partial truth. In reality, he hadn't wanted to see Vilho or Olga.

Salmi didn't need to sign off as Pastor, as Pastor Alve of Turku had officiated at the religious events at the Mattson farm. The families had every right, but that wouldn't stop Salmi from creating trouble.

The next morning, Victor picked up Ellen, who had been tugging at his trousers as he was preparing to leave. He gave her a kiss and a belly raspberry making her giggle. "I'll see you when I get home, _Villi Ruusu_." As Victor put her down, Ellen squealed in mirth.

"Pappa, I go."

"Not today. It's getting cold outside and it's a long ride. In the summer, I will take you. You play with your _Karhu_ and other toys, and be company for Mamma."

"I go find _Karhu_ ," Ellen said gleefully as she scampered off into the bedroom, reminding Victor of little lambs playing.

"Eva, I will see you later tonight. I don't know exactly how long I will be," Victor said. He was still grinning at Ellen.

"I will miss you all day," Eva whispered. They stood in the enclosed entryway.

"You say that every day," he teased. "Don't you have something more to say?"

"I thought I said it in bed this morning." She hugged him around the waist and nuzzled his neck.

"How could I forget _that,_ and you so giving and accommodating. It's like getting some sweet candy." He nuzzled her in kind.

~~~

All the way to Rauma, Victor thought intensely of Olga. He even gave himself orgasms in a kerchief. Much of the drive was desolate this time of year. _I cannot go back to see her when I get to the blacksmith,_ he thought _. I have betrayed Eva too often. I love her. She is the mother of my beautiful child. I love coming home to her. I will say "hello" to Vilho, give him my latch order, and be on my way. I told Olga last time I was not coming back._

~~~

As soon as Victor arrived in town, he stopped at the blacksmith. As he walked into the warm shop, Vilho looked up from the anvil. Unreserved and convivial as always, Victor's friend greeted him warmly. In spite of this, Victor noticed that something was different.

"Victor Mattson, as I live and breathe," Wilho boomed. His teeth were shining brightly in an ear-to-ear grin. "How the devil are you? And the wife? How's that little girl of yours? She's getting big, I'll bet. My two boys are. The baby, Peter, is four months now."

Victor laughed at the big man's unreserved nature. "Ellen is two and a half, and as sassy as her mother."

Vilho laughed. "What can I do for you?"

"I need a new door latch. Can you have one in an hour? It's a standard door latch for the _sauna_ entry."

"I can put you first after this. I may just get that done for you in one hour."

"Thanks, Vilho. I will see you then."

"Good. We'll have vodka before you leave town." Vilho gathered the material for the latch. "Go and see Olga and the children."

Victor paused in panic, but tried not to show it. Vilho had that strangely different look on his face again, barely perceivable.

"I'll be back. Count on it. I want a shot of that vodka. And yes, I wasn't planning on it, but I will go see Olga for a minute. Will you come?"

"No, my friend. I have much to do. And I want to have your latch by the time you want to leave. I'm afraid I cannot join you." Vilho smiled in his jovial way—and subtly the strangely different look came over him again.

Victor shrugged and smiled as he closed the back door of the smith.

_God damn it to hell! God damn it! God, fuck me to hell!_ Victor screamed inside his head as his feet walked him to the door of Olga's house. Victor looked up and noticed how dark the sky had become. Snow clouds were coming accompanied by the bitter wind off the gulf. He was mightily roused and liked it.

~~~

When Victor entered the house, Olga was leaning over the cradle tucking the blanket. She looked up, aghast. "I didn't think you were coming here again. You said you were done."

"I know what I said, but your husband insisted. He is such a fool."

Victor took her by the arm and set her on the kitchen table. Olga hiked up her skirt for him. He shoved himself in her and thrust hard less than a dozen times. Knowing it was wrong, he climaxed intensely. He grabbed a towel off the table, quickly ridding him and her of any trace of sex.

"How have you been, Olga?" He kissed her hard. "Let's see that baby of yours and Vilho's."

"Look in the cradle," she said. She got off the table, smoothed her skirt, and sat on a kitchen chair.

He was puzzled at her paleness and her need to sit. Her face had a strange expression. "What's the matter with you?" he asked, irritated.

He turned to look into the cradle and stood paralyzed. He felt himself go faint as the blood drained from his head. His belly felt as though an ice ball had formed inside, heavy and cold. He looked at Olga, who could not meet his eyes. Sleeping innocently in the little bed was a four-month-old male version of Ellen.

After a few moments, she spoke. "Vilho has never said anything except that he will never leave me. He loves this baby," Olga said. "But, Victor, you can never return to this house. You are finished coming here." She spoke firmly. "I am choosing to stand by my husband because he has chosen to stand by me. He loves me in spite of this baby not being his. And I love him."

Victor saw she meant what she said.

"You can never claim this baby. Do you hear me?" she added. "It would hurt your friend, Vilho."

Victor gulped in air and let it out through his mouth. "He sent me here on purpose so you could tell me to stay away."

She stood again, tall and straight. Her eyes were unwavering in their message: Victor was never to return.

"Why did you let me have sex with you just now?"

"I am not perfect. I will always love you, but it is 'goodbye.'" Tears fell from her eyes.

Victor looked at the beautiful wife of his friend, the favorite son of Rauma. After years of adoration in the same community, he suddenly felt replaced. His eyes lingered for a few moments as he took another deep breath and let it out. He involuntarily shifted his gaze to the floor in a moment of shame and then walked out the door. With that, he knew she was no longer "his."

He raced around the corner of the blacksmith barn where no one could see, and vomited.

~~~

The discovery of a son shook Victor to the core. _How could I have been so stupid to get Olga pregnant? We had been so careful for so long._ As he drove to the dry goods store, Victor remembered how they would plan their trysts according to Olga's monthly cycles, avoiding those fertile times. He wanted to scream, but he had things to do. He had to quickly put his son out of his mind. He knew meeting Olga had been wrong especially after he and Eva got married. But he had ended up not caring if it was wrong. _Eva must never find out about the boy,_ he thought _. How in the hell am I going to manage that? He looks like me—like Ellen_.

Victor set his resolve and resumed his errands. In a matter of minutes he was able to muster up some resemblance of the affable, smiling Victor Mattson. He took a breath and entered the dry goods store.

He got out the list that Eva, Liisa, and his mother had made and handed it to the pleasant store clerk. The clerk busied himself filling the order, placing things in the two wooden boxes that Victor had brought with him from the buckboard. Victor impulsively picked out a few peppermint sticks for Ellen who, he knew, would squeal with pleasure at receiving the sweet treats. His mind was still working its way away from Olga and the baby boy.

He forced his thoughts to Ellen while he waited.

_It's a wonder she is nearly three years old now. She is so much like her mother, bright and sassy. Such a 'Villi Ruusu.' She's smart and sassy just like my Eva ... She looks so much like a Mattson ... I didn't ask the baby boy's name. Just as well._ Victor, struggling, tried to shove that thought out of his mind. _Vilho said "Peter."_ Victor tried again, with frustration, to shut out the thoughts.

"Are you all right, Victor?" the clerk asked.

"Yes, thank you for asking. I was just remembering something important."

_Ellen Franciina has her mother's blue eyes and strawberry blond hair—and my face. At least Eva likes my face_ , Victor thought with a feeble smile. He still wanted to scream.

The boxes were filled with supplies, ready to go. Victor took care of the bill and walked out by pushing the door open with his backside, one box in his arms. The clerk carried the other box to the buckboard and then said a pleasant farewell.

Victor drove in a numb state to the city hall, tied the horse on the front post, and covered the box of goods in the back with a piece of canvas. The wind had started to blow a few flurries of snow around. He fixed his coat collar around his neck, pulled his wool cap from his pocket, and put it on. He had the papers in his upper coat pocket. He patted his chest to make sure they were still in his possession.

As he entered, his nose and cheeks burned in the warm building. _Ahh,_ he thought, _November in Finland_. The building was quiet and the wooden floor made a loud creaking sound as he walked down the hall to the Registrar's office. As he opened the office door, its old hinges made a similar creaking sound. He entered the office and closed the door behind him. Much to his dread, there stood August Salmi at the counter signing some papers. Victor paused momentarily and then said to himself, _I have nothing to hide. I don't care what he thinks. The man's a bastard and targets my family. How dare he?_

Victor could feel himself tensing up in angry indignation. His day had already turned badly and now this. He looked at the Registrar's clerk who smiled at him. Good at presenting himself how he wanted to, Victor smiled back.

"I have these documents to file," Victor said. "Some of them, well, all of them, are delinquent." His voice trailed off. He could feel Salmi's eyes boring into him but Victor refused to acknowledge his presence. Victor's face had thawed from the wind but was turning hot with increasing anger. He tried to control himself as he waited for the certificates.

"Mattson, what papers are you delinquent with?" the Pastor said.

Victor seethed, but kept a cool, outer demeanor. He couldn't believe Salmi had the audacity to speak to him.

"None of your concern." He kept his eyes on the clerk who was filling out the certificates.

Victor saw out of the corner of his eye that Salmi went back to his work. He was certain Salmi was not satisfied with that answer, and that the pastor began his own slow burn. This was not over.

The clerk handed Victor Ellen's birth certificate and the other copies. Victor paid the fees, thanked him, and walked out, hoping he was done with Salmi. He folded the papers and put them in his breast pocket for safekeeping. Once outside, he untied the horse and got into the wagon.

As he made his way back to the blacksmith's, he was buffeted by the burgeoning northwesterly wind. When he arrived, he hopped down from his wagon, hoping to quickly retrieve his latch from Vilho. But much to his surprise, he saw Salmi getting out of his own carriage nearby. Victor couldn't believe that the bastard had followed him! He tried to ignore him but Salmi beat him to the door and blocked his entry.

"What do you mean, having another Pastor come to your house behind my back?" Salmi put a pasty white hand on Victor's arm.

Victor smelled the older man's stale sweat and beer breath. He was repulsed. "Take your hand off me. You have no hold over me or my family. You are delusional if you think you do." Victor's voice remained cool. He was so close to hitting Salmi, but refrained, feeling his body tremble with anger. "You have been drinking, Pastor," Victor added, giving Salmi a steely, hard look. "Now, please move out of my way."

Salmi flinched at the drinking accusation and backed off.

Bypassing the Pastor, Victor made his way into the shop.

"How dare you insult the Church!" Salmi, furious and sputtering saliva, followed Victor into the shop. "You are nothing but a bunch of hedonistic heathens out there. Your father—"

Victor stopped and turned around, facing the pastor square on. "I, or my family, have done no such thing. It is you who insult the church—insult God, for that matter. You are not a man of the cloth. You are as power hungry as the Church. Look how many people have left Finland. I'll thank you kindly to leave me to my business. Maybe you should go and think about what you have been doing to this fine community with your meddling and control." Victor stared at the infuriated Pastor.

"I'll—I'll—" the Pastor sputtered, then gasped violently for air. He reached to grab Victor but seemed unable to breathe. He started to claw desperately at his collar and tie, gurgling, his eyes bulging. He collapsed on the floor.

Victor stood in shock.

Vilho ran to the Pastor and tried to revive him. "I can't feel his pulse," he said. "I'm sure he's dead."

"Jesus, God! I'll get the doctor," Victor said and started for the door.

"No Victor, you go home. I'll get the doctor and I'll tell him that the pastor came into the shop and collapsed. I don't want you to be accused of anything. We know how the church is." Vilho handed Victor the new latch and bade him goodbye. The ungodly mess with Olga appeared to have been forgotten.

"I'm sorry, my friend," Victor said. Their eyes met. Victor felt like crying.

"I know you are."

Vilho told him to leave one more time.

~~~

The wind and snow blew hard on Victor's journey back from town. The wind was pushing him home, helping him to get back to Eva. He felt appalled at his behavior. _Why did I have to get so angry at Salmi? And why the hell did he have to die? For Christ's sake, what do I do now?_ His thoughts plagued him all the way home, not only about the pastor but about how Vilho Hautala knew who his second son's blood father was and, in the end, still tried to help him.

~~~

Victor wasted no time in telling his family the awful news about Pastor Salmi. A staggering, dreadful pall fell over the Mattson-Maki family.

About a week later, the Constable came to the door of Victor and Eva's cabin. He had been a good school friend of Victor's. Eva poured him a cup of coffee and made him a cold ham sandwich. The Constable was sullen as he reported the news.

"The church officials in Turku want you arrested, Victor," he explained. "They insist you are responsible for Salmi's death. Even with Vilho's eye-witness account, other people saw you arguing with the Pastor and the church will make it what they want."

"Christ almighty," Victor said. He sat in horror.

"I told them I'd give you a week to turn yourself in. I also said they had a very weak case but it was to no avail." The Constable shrugged apologetically.

"Why a week's time? Why don't you just take me now?"

"It'll give you a small amount of time—to figure a way out." The Constable paused, looking Victor in the eye. "Some people in a situation like this might choose to go to Sweden, or Russia, or America. Look, Victor, in my opinion you did nothing legally wrong to warrant the church coming after you. But come after you they will and if they win, you will end up in prison."

Victor sat stunned. His throat was suddenly very dry. He looked at Eva. Her head was down on her arm, face hidden, on the table. He wasn't going to get any answer from her at that moment. At that moment he knew he'd let her down.

Standing, the lawman said, "I'll let myself out. I'm sorry Victor, Eva. Good luck, my friend."

The Constable put on his coat and went on his way, leaving a stunned Victor and Eva sitting at the table.

~~~

Victor arranged a family meeting at the Mattson's the next day to tell them that he and his family were going to have to leave the country.

"Why?!" Liisa cried. "Why do you have to go away? We will never see you again. We won't have our babies together. Eva ..." Liisa fell off the kitchen chair, losing her ability to maintain control. Yuri had to carry her, nearly eight months along, to the settee as she wailed in grief.

Eva's mother sat there looking dumbfounded and Victor's mother started to hyperventilate, then cry. Victor's father looked like he was about to cry himself.

With everyone crying around him, Victor felt consumed by his secrets. He knew this was his fault. _What the hell have I done?_ He looked at everyone but couldn't find any of the usual solace they gave him. Eva, with Liisa on the settee was devastated. Aili, crying audibly, was being comforted by Hannes who held her in his arms. _There's the future of Mattson Farm,_ Victor thought. _Perhaps that's my solace._

His father put a hand on his shoulder. "I think you're right. The only solution that will keep you out of prison is for you three to leave. It's not every day the Constable gives this kind of opportunity. We must all understand that."

There was dead silence.

"Eva," Victor spoke to her from across the room. "It has to be America."

Eva would not look at him but she did not disagree.

~~~

Eva felt heartbroken for her loved ones. She knew it was like another hard death for the Makis and the Mattsons. Plans that had been assumed for years were now torn to shreds. No longer would the farm be Victor's. No longer would Eva's children grow up in the beautiful country she loved with all her heart. Her heart was breaking and no one could fix it, especially not Victor.

~~~

Three days later, the Makis and Mattsons were standing outside the lake cabin. With two steamer trunks of bare-bones possessions, money from Jacob, a bewildered and angst-ridden Eva and Victor were ready to drive away forever.

"I love you all," Eva choked on her words. She kissed each and every one she was leaving behind.

Neither Victor nor Eva could speak, but each embraced their loved ones fiercely.

"Eva, I love you," her mother said, tears falling from her sightless eyes. Eva's sisters sobbed. Liisa, in her overwhelming grief, could not stand without Yuri's support.

In anger, Jacob snapped. "That son of a bitch Salmi won, you know. He succeeded in destroying our family. The only good in it is that he is not alive to gloat. And if he were alive and gloating, I would be the one in prison because I would choke the life out of that bastard myself."

As the three of them drove away, Eva couldn't bear to look back. She didn't know anything anymore. Her life as she knew it was gone.

~~~

It was November-cold on the drive southeastward, but they were dressed for it. He'd placed Eva and Ellen inside the enclosed carriage where Ellen could play on the floor and climb on and off the seat. She had a few blocks, as well as her _Karhu_.

While Victor drove, he had nothing but torturous time to think of all that had happened. He realized that his role in the pastor's death was morally, if not legally, significant even though he'd had no idea the man was about to have a heart attack.

_Eva is devastated,_ he thought _. Look at all that's happened because of me. Getting pregnant before marriage scared her and getting torn from her family has broken her heart. She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay in Finland. It's all because of me, Goddamn it! I will never forgive myself for this one and neither will Eva. She will always have this in the back of her mind, especially losing Eino, which I manipulated._

Victor had to admit, though, that there was a silver lining in all of this. He would never have to worry about Eva seeing Olga's son by him. Eva would have seen the resemblance as immediately as he had. It was ice-cold comfort, however. He suddenly felt remorse for his callous treatment of Olga that last time less than a week ago. _She didn't deserve that. She did nothing but love me._ And for the way he'd used her all those years knowing she loved him.

_I wish you all the happiness in the world, Olga, and I'm sorry for everything,_ he called to her in his mind. _Vilho is a good man. Better than I'll ever be. He'll take good care of you and the boy, I know it._

The last thought grieved Victor the most: _I'll never get to know my son._

~~~

Several days later upon arrival in Helsinki, Victor sold the horse and buggy for extra cash. He obtained their passports using their birth certificates and other paperwork they needed for entry into the United States.

The night before the steamer was to embark for Liverpool, England, on the first leg of the journey to America, Eva and Victor tried to sleep. They were staying in a run-down, musty-smelling rooming house near the docks, normally used for sailors. Ellen was the only one of the three who didn't seem bothered in the least by what was happening. Her exuberance and silliness took the edge off the sharp, granite-heavy grief her parents were roiling in. As Ellen slept deeply in a make-shift bed in a dresser drawer on the floor, her two parents were left to their own crushing feelings and fears of the unknown.

Eva was truly frightened for the first time in her life. It was worse than when she first found out she was pregnant. She'd thought that had been bad. But now, she was at a complete loss. She felt sick to her stomach, constantly ready to vomit. Her agitation left her wanting to inflict violence on someone. She resorted to the only base impulse she had available. She rolled over to Victor, who was lying on his back, his hands behind his head. He was staring at the moldy and rain-damaged ceiling.

"I want sex," she said, her voice angry and demanding. "And don't be gentle. Do you understand? You are ready." She had put her hand on his erection.

He put his fingers in her, then climbed on top and pounded into her as she dug into his back and bit his shoulders. As he thrust into her, and as Eva hit and scratched Victor, she felt as though she were fighting to get back every ounce of happiness and security she had suddenly lost.

Victor, too, was apparently exorcising demons of his own. "Damn him, that son-of-a-bitch, Salmi. Why? God damn him!" Victor cursed, his voice hoarse.

As Eva and Victor continued, something quite unexpected started to happen. The anger and hatred in both of them seemed to dissipate as they wore themselves to the bone, physically and emotionally. Suddenly their hatred for Salmi turned into passion and love... for each other. The violence turned to peace and each had the most intensely beautiful climax. Victor, still on top of her, cried. He held her in his arms fiercely, kissing her passionately.

"I love you more than life itself, Eva. Forever."

"I love you, Victor. I only have you now. Ellen and I need you more than ever."

What Eva said, scared him more than anything.

### Chapter 27

The day after she arrived at the mansion Dolly began a letter to Liam. She told him how much she missed him and how she was heartened to have Annie for consolation.

"Do ye want to keep the weddin' ring on, or put it on yer chain?" Annie asked with a concerned look while Dolly wrote at the table.

"I don't think I can bear to remove it, Annie," Dolly said. She felt like she might cry. She was in a miserable state.

"Well, we're goin' to have to have a story then, when it's discovered and asked about. So far neither Dady has said a thing about yer topaz, but that could change."

"What if we tell them I married a Catholic boy a few weeks ago, who's on a merchant ship headin' for China, and won't be back 'til Christmas?"

Annie looked at Dolly in amazement.

"I thought it up on the ship home," Dolly said.

"Right, then ..." Annie agreed with an astonished look. "They'll not be interested in anymore of the story. It'll be enough."

Dolly added, "I'll do my best to steer clear of them, especially the Missus in my daily duties as I have been doin' all along."

By the time the Dadys returned from France, Annie and Dolly had resettled into their work routines. Dolly had not quite made it back to the independence she gained before the wedding, however. Annie told her she was a bit clingier and broodier.

~~~

It was late August and hot. Dolly could make it through a day but by the time evening came, all she could manage was to write to Liam. She wouldn't offer to help with mending as she'd always done, or read her America book. She would just tuck herself in her bed, roll toward the wall, and fall asleep. The next morning, she would need to be coaxed out of bed.

"Ye know, darlin', I've been noticin' ye've not been yerself since ye got back from Edinburgh," Annie said one morning at breakfast. "Are ye feelin' ill?"

"Oh, no Annie, I just miss Liam somethin' fierce," Dolly said. Annie was studying her face. "I ... just ... miss Liam." Dolly's voice trailed off and tears welled. Now that Annie had brought it up, she did feel slow and had no spunk, but she had been keeping it to herself. She didn't want Annie to worry, because Annie would just write to Liam.

"Ye'll be fine, child," Annie said firmly yet kindly. "It'll be Saturday in two days," she said sunnily. "There will be letters from Liam for ye to read all weekend. That should cheer ye up." She smiled at Dolly, now eating a bowl of oatmeal porridge dowsed heavily with cream and honey. Dolly's view of her world brightened at the reminder.

~~~

Mid-September came and the elder Mrs. Dady was all a flutter with dinner plans. The Tisdales were coming on Friday night. There were to be a few other guests. Lord Pirrie and his wife were on the list.

"Did Liam write ye, Annie, that we ran into Lord Pirrie at Portobello?" Dolly asked.

"Christ, no!" It was rare that Annie took the Lord's name in vain. "What happened?" Annie's concern mirrored Dolly's. They were peeling potatoes, carrots, and onions to roast in the pan with the beef filet.

"Liam asked him to stay mum about us, and he agreed, as long as ... well, he ... was with a woman ... not his wife." Dolly tried not to sound gossipy.

"I see," Annie murmured a bit taken with the news. A worried crease developed between her brows. "Do ye think ye can trust him?"

"Oh, aye. I traveled with him on the boat. He's very nice. He really likes Liam and thinks Liam's father is a bad one."

"Well, he's got that right," Annie murmured. She grabbed some thick, woolen potholders and pulled the apple tart from the oven and put it in the pie safe to cool.

"There's one other thing. Lord Pirrie made a pass at me on the boat home."

"He what!?" Annie hissed so as not to be heard outside the kitchen.

"I told him to stop, that I wasn't interested, and that he should not give Liam a reason to lose his admiration and respect for him."

"Holy God, Dolly." Now Annie really looked astonished.

"I don't want Liam to know. He likes it that Pirrie is a friend. Besides, I took care of it," Dolly concluded with newfound authority.

"I believe ye have, darlin'."

Dolly sniffed the piping hot, fragrant apple tart. "That smells heavenly," she said. She gave Annie a look of confidence. "I hope there's a piece of that tart left at the end of the night."

Annie seemed to abandon her shock at Lord Pirrie's pass at Dolly. "Let's get that roast in the oven," she said. "Are the vegetables in? Don't forget those onions." Annie liked to stay on schedule. "And don't worry about the tart. That's the second one."

This made Dolly smile.

"Ye're gettin' to be like Liam," Annie quipped. "He can't ever get enough food in his pie hole either." They laughed.

~~~

At the dinner table, as she served the guests meat and potatoes and filled the water glasses, Dolly could not help but notice Mary Tisdale's fierce blue eyes boring into her. _Why could she possibly be starin' at me?_ Dolly decided she must finish her serving, avoid eye contact, and get back into the kitchen as soon as she could. Just as she thought it was safe to go in, Dolly heard a voice come from the table.

"Oh, Girl. It's Dolly, isn't it? How quaint. Can you bring me more water?" It was Mary Tisdale.

Dolly felt her face burn with anger—and fear. She knew that she must not show either.

"Yes, Miss," Dolly said with confidence. As she took the pitcher of water from the side board and turned to approach Mary, she saw Lord Pirrie out of the corner of her eye. He was sitting next to Mary at the table. Dolly stood behind Mary and poured water into her nearly-full water glass.

"My, that's a very pretty topaz ring," Mary said. "May I look at it?"

Suddenly a water glass tipped over at the next plate setting, its entire contents spilling all over the table and onto Mary's plate. Everyone was startled.

"Oh! How terribly clumsy of me," Lord Pirrie said, quite loudly. He tried to stop the water from rolling towards Mary's puffy sleeved, blue silk gown with his own napkin.

Mary stood up in a huff, nearly knocking over her chair. Dolly set it right. She glanced at Annie, who flicked her head in the direction of the kitchen door, signaling Dolly to head in there. Annie grabbed some towels from the side board drawers to sop up the water spill and get a new plate for Mary. Dolly's rings were immediately forgotten—thanks to the Chairman of Harland and Wolff.

As Dolly left the dining room, she could see the hosts were positively embarrassed. Their mouths were agape. Once in the kitchen she could hear Mr. Dady from the door.

"Thank you, Annie," he said. "That was a good save."

"Yes, Mr. Dady," Annie said. She entered the kitchen with the wet napkins, towels, and a water-soaked plate full of food. After waiting for the kitchen door to swing shut, Annie exhaled through her mouth. "I'm sweatin' like an over-ridden horse," she said.

~~~

After brandy and cigars and minor chit-chat, Lord Pirrie waited until the Tisdales had gone for the night. Once they had departed, he slipped into the kitchen under the overheard pretense of personally thanking the cook.

He closed the door behind him and whispered to a relieved and grateful Dolly and Annie. "How was that?" he asked. He appeared to be enjoying his part in the subterfuge. "What a delicious meal, ladies," Pirrie said out loud. He added quietly, "She's onto something, that Mary, but I think she has no solid idea."

"I think she's much smarter than you believe she is, Lord Pirrie," Annie said.

"You may be right, Mrs. MacDonald."

Lord Pirrie walked up to Dolly. "Do you mind if I take on the role of a protective big brother?" he asked her. "I assume you may have told Annie of my faux pas on the crossing from Scotland." He reached out his arms to hug Dolly.

"Yes, I did tell Annie, and I don't mind a big brother."

Lord Pirrie shook Annie's hand. As he walked out the swinging kitchen door, he winked at the two of them and formally said out loud, "Thank you again, Mrs. MacDonald. Goodnight." He left the door to swing back and forth to a stop on its own.

~~~

On Saturday after breakfast, Annie and Dolly went together to the post office to collect their mail.

It was sunny and warm and the air had the fragrance of fall, with leaves crisp on the ground as the sun dried the night's cool dewfall from them. Dolly felt particularly animated.

On the way home, Annie broached the subject. Very gently she asked Dolly, "Sweetheart, when's the last time ye had yer monthly?"

Dolly stopped in her tracks and looked at Annie with trepidation. "Last end of May."

"Oh, dear ..." Annie's murmur trailed off. She put her arm around Dolly and the two walked the short way to the kitchen door in the back of the mansion. Annie spoke quietly to Dolly.

"I've been noticin' ye've been so dreamy at times and then ye cry at the drop of a hat, and God, ye've been eatin' like Liam. I can barely drag ye out of bed in the mornin'. The only thing that hasn't shown up is the mornin' sickness."

"Do ye think I'm with child, Annie?"

In the kitchen, Annie walked to the swinging door to peek through the crack for anyone nearby. With a look of satisfaction that they were alone, she walked back to Dolly.

"If your monthly was at the end of May, that means you were nothin' but fertile on yer honeymoon." Annie busied herself putting a kettle on to make a cup of tea for the two of them. She went to the pie safe and pulled out some raisin scones. Dolly went to the ice box for the whipped cream.

"At least ye're married now," Annie said. "That's a relief. I don't know how youze avoided it since ye got here."

"Should I be ashamed, Annie?" Dolly sat at the kitchen table and reached for a scone and the cream. She didn't know which way her emotions should go—happy she was carrying Liam's child, or afraid the Dadys would find out. She decided to save Liam's letters for later.

"Not at all, ye've done nothin' wrong," Annie said. "Well, except for the beddin' out of wedlock, but I'm sure ye've confessed and done yer penance. In the eyes of God, ye're another one of His angels, and that's what counts here. Ye stick to that thought and ye'll be fine. We still have yer story of the marriage to the sailor headin' for China. That should hold us for a while."

Annie and Dolly sat in the cozy, secure kitchen and ate scones, Dolly more industriously than Annie. Dolly could feel Annie watching her and looked up.

Annie snickered. "It certainly explains why ye've been eatin' so much."

"It's odd, though," Dolly said as they washed their dishes some time later. "I thought women were supposed to be sick in the mornings. I haven't been."

"Either yer goin' to be lucky, or it hasn't started yet."

"There's somethin' else, Annie," Dolly said. She put a clean, dry cup on the shelf. "Liam tried to make me tell him I would write immediately if I got with child. He'd come home straight away, sayin' he'd figure out somethin' else for our lives. But I said to him he should just finish and be home in December. It'd be foolish for him to stop so close to the end. I'm not goin' to tell him, Annie. I want him to finish and receive his degree."

"Dolly, I don't know..."

"Please. He wants to be a doctor. Ye know how he feels about it." Dolly was adamant and wanted Annie to stay mum. "It's less than three months now."

"Fine," Annie said. "But I'll go only so far. If ye become sick, or the Dadys give ye the boot, I'm writin'. It's Liam's baby, too." Annie looked Dolly straight in the eye. "Are we in agreement?"

Dolly understood, but still sighed in relief. "Yes, Annie. Thank you."

"And," Annie added a last thought, "I think from tonight on, ye'd better sleep with a bucket by yer bed. I don't think ye'll want to be cleanin' the floor when ye start pukin' yer guts up in the mornin'."

As the sun rose two days later, the bucket came in very handy. For about twenty minutes, Dolly was in the throes of full-fledged morning sickness. Annie gave her a bland piece of hard tack and eventually the nausea subsided. Dolly was able to eat a substantial breakfast and get on with her morning. As usual, she avoided Mrs. Dady. And for the most part, things went on as usual, much to Dolly's relief.

~~~

One day in November, Dolly, five months pregnant, went into the parlor after dinner to dust and sweep. She had no idea Mrs. Dady was sitting there, working on her needlepoint.

Dolly stopped short as she walked in. Mrs. Dady peered up at her with coldness. "I'm sorry, mum," she said. "I'll come back later."

"Oh," Mrs. Dady said dismissively. "It's just you. You're fine. Just come on in. I was about to leave anyway."

Dolly kept her face as non-expressive as possible and began to use the feather duster on the far end of the room. There had been only one other time that Mrs. Dady addressed Dolly when she was in the same room.

"What was all the fuss about rings and Miss Tisdale?"

"I'm not quite sure I remember?" Dolly tried to stall.

"When the Lord Mayor knocked his water over at dinner a while ago."

Dolly began to panic. Her throat dried up and she felt faint. "I was about to show Miss Tisdale when the water went over," she said. "It's from my ... new husband. We were married when you were away in France. He's a Catholic boy."

"Well, where is he now?" Mrs. Dady blurted.

"He's on a merchant ship in China. He works on a freighter. He'll be back at Christmas." Dolly knew Mrs. Dady would get bored in no time. She was right.

"Hmm. . ." Mrs. Dady ended the conversation by getting up and leaving.

As she listened to the clicking heels fading into the hall, Dolly huffed two times in relief. She heard the door to the library close. _Thank God, I've already cleaned the library._ Dolly stood for a moment trying to regain her composure, her breathing, short and uneven, her hands shaking along with her knees. Finally, she resumed her dusting. Annie would agree it was a close call.

### Chapter 28

The Mattsons and the rest of the ocean liner passengers were awakened early on the last day of the Atlantic crossing to prepare for disembarking. Eva listened sleepily while Victor explained they would disembark from the White Star Line's _Teutonic_ at a pier on the Island of Manhattan. From there, they would be shuttled by ferry to Ellis Island. First and second-class passengers were exempt from the rigors of Ellis Island's processing but Victor was only able to afford a third-class cabin.

The November dawn was cloudy, damp, and cold as the _Teutonic_ entered New York Harbor. Eva thought the sky was threatening rain or sleet. Standing on the deck of the ship with many other sons and daughters of Europe, she felt in awe of the Statue of Liberty, bidding welcome to the new arrivals. She'd heard that the statue had been standing tall and strong for nearly a decade already. For millions of immigrants, it symbolized the promise of a better life. She turned from Lady Liberty to look behind her at the narrow building-stuffed strip of land the ship seemed to be heading to. Victor, look!" She took his forearm as he turned to look.

"I think that is New York City," he said.

Breathless, she said, "I have never seen such a sight. It's so huge. All those buildings—I wonder if they are all filled with people right now."

"I read there are over a million people living there."

"I don't know what that means, Victor."

"It means more than we could count in a month. I've never imagined what it would be like to live there. I don't know if I would want to. I want space in the country, like—" he looked at her as though he wished he hadn't said anything to remind her of home.

"Home?" she finished what he didn't say. She tried to say something else but couldn't.

Victor shifted Ellen to one arm and held Eva with the other. They stood that way with Eva holding onto him for dear life, until the steamer chugged its way to the dock on the east side of the Hudson River. As the passengers watched, tugboats helped to maneuver the big ship into the dock. Looking at many faces, Eva guessed that each one probably felt the same overwhelming excitement, mixed with fear and trepidation ...perhaps heartache, as they viewed their first sight of America. Hers was a crushing sense of loss and the accompanying emptiness.

~~~

Now ashore on Ellis Island, Eva followed behind Victor, Ellen in her Pappa's arms, as the passengers were all escorted to a big dining hall and seated at long tables. Here, breakfast was served. For many of the poorer immigrants, Eva noticed, the meal was like manna from Heaven. She heard one of the wives of a fellow Finn that Victor had talked to say that the pure white bread tasted like sweet cake.

When the meal was finished, the women and young children were separated from the older boys and men, and both groups were escorted to the hospital building.

"Eva, don't worry," Victor said as they parted. "We are to be seen by a doctor now, and we'll meet up later."

She felt some comfort from his words but was still on edge not knowing what was happening. She glanced around at the other faces. They all looked like she felt.

~~~

Everyone was to go through a rigorous physical examination. All newcomers had to strip to their undergarments, then line up to see a doctor. Eva, like the other women, was upset at this blatant lack of respect for their dignity as human beings. She felt awful and exposed. They had to wait their turn for the military doctor to peer into and prod each frightened woman and child. Most of the women were unable to communicate in English. There were some foreign-speaking helpers for the non-English speakers. Eva noticed there wasn't a Finn. At least there were benches to sit on. Eva sat with Ellen who was frightened and clung to Eva's neck. The room was unventilated and hot. Eva was beginning to feel nauseous from the body odor of unwashed women, children, and unchanged diapers. She looked at a few faces again and felt the humiliation of everyone in the room with her.

She was on the verge of tears waiting for her turn, but managed to hold herself, conveying cold strength and a defiance of the military doctor as she approached him. Ellen was still clinging to Eva's clammy neck.

At the beginning of the examination, Eva gave the doctor one of her bold blue stares. This elicited a faint smile of reassurance from the uniformed, thickly browed doctor. His smile caused her to relax a little. He pointed to Ellen and motioned that he wanted to exam her first.

As he began to examine Ellen she started to wail. The nurse firmly grasped Ellen's head to keep her still while the doctor stuck a tongue depressor into her mouth and peered into her throat. As the nurse released her head, Ellen gagged and continued to cry.

"Ellen, you are all right now," Eva whispered into Ellen's ear. "You are a good girl."

The doctor said something to Ellen in a soothing tone. _He is speaking English to her,_ Eva thought. It was the first time she'd heard it on American soil. The prospect of having to learn a new language now overwhelmed her.

Then, the doctor gave Eva a thorough exam, listening to her through a stethoscope, prodding at her neck and belly, checking her throat and under her eyelids. When finished, he said something to another assistant, who escorted Eva and Ellen back to their clothes. Ellen was still clinging and screaming.

They were allowed to redress, given a chalk mark on their coats and made to wait in another room. Eva felt emotionally exhausted while she watched mothers being escorted off without their children. She even saw a child from a large family being taken, screaming, from its mother's arms. All of the mothers and children who were taken away had a different chalk symbol than hers and Ellen's. Eva guessed that since those individuals were obviously ill, they perhaps, had to stay at the hospital on the island. She wanted to go fight their fight and stop the separation, but it was not her battle to wage. The only thing she continued to fight were the tears that were constantly ready to gush from her eyes. The tears would begin an emotional break-down she did not want to have.

She sat on the bench along a wall of windows in a sunny spot. She was still holding Ellen, who had fallen asleep. Eva guessed that sleep was Ellen's only refuge from the strange and horrible events. Eva wondered if Victor was in the same situation. _Thank God none of us is sick today_ , she thought. She breathed a sigh of immense relief. _It's sunny now_ , she thought, looking out the window over the harbor that was hugged not by forest, but by uncountable human-made structures. The sun made her feel a little better. She leaned against the bench and, with some small amount of relief, closed her eyes. Her face tilted to the pale, late fall sun. She took a deep breath and exhaled.

~~~

Victor was in another area with all the male arrivals. He had promised himself and Eva that he would always be vigilant but the damn process was preventing him from being so. _I hope it is not long now,_ he thought _. Then I will be with them again._

He was right but not about the length of time. It was three hours after he was separated from Eva before he was deemed healthy and given the chalk mark. After being allowed to dress, Victor and the remaining men and boys were led into a large room to rejoin the women. Victor noticed that most of the women were silent, appearing agitated as they waited for their loved ones to reappear.

Intensely relieved he spotted them easily, Victor made his way to his little family who were seated next to a large, sunny window on a bench. He hugged them with all his might, and took fussy Ellen from a weary and distraught Eva. He watched sympathetically as the floodgate opened for Eva. He managed to retrieve his crumpled handkerchief from his trouser pocket to wipe her nose and he cooed soothingly as they sat on the bench.

"I heard from another Finn that we are to go to a large room to queue up for a final stamp on our papers. Then, they will ship us to New Jersey, or the City."

Victor had talked to some Finns on the ship and had decided to head west to Minnesota and the newly opened Mesabi Iron Range, where many of their countrymen were heading. It was either Hibbing or Virginia. Virginia, Minnesota had a large Finnish enclave there. Victor was certain it would be New Jersey for them. "We can get a train from there," he said.

~~~

Finally off Ellis Island with all their luggage, and sitting at a train station in New Jersey, the Mattsons were exhausted and hungry. Eva waited on a bench with Ellen a long time before her husband returned. Victor had left them there to find a train that would point them west. She sat nervously with many people milling to and fro around her. She had never seen so many people in all her life in one place. Finally, Victor returned and sat next to her with papers in his hand.

"The ticket master gave me a list of the cities we have to go through," Victor said. "They're Tse-ca-go, Minnee-ah-polees, and Doo-loot."

"Do we stay on the same train?" Eva asked. She felt intensely weary. Ellen was running gleefully in a circle nearby, _Karhu_ in her hand.

"More than likely we'll have to change. It's a good thing we have our steamer trunks marked and we have claim tickets for them. They should go directly to Doo-loot."

"I hope so. When do we get on the train?"

"We get on that one over there, when they say 'Piss-boorg,'" he said in choppy syllables. "I got us a bedroom."

"Thank you, Victor. I am so tired I could fall asleep standing up."

"We'll get some food on the train, too."

Eva had managed to grab a roll at breakfast on Ellis Island so Ellen could have a snack. She was glad she did, because Ellen was suddenly in Eva's lap.

" _Olen nälkäinen_ ," _I'm hungry,_ Ellen whined.

Eva pulled the napkin-wrapped roll from her coat pocket.

" _Leipä_!" Ellen said, delightedly squeaky when her Mamma unwrapped it. _Bread_.

### Chapter 29

Liam was heavily involved in studying and practicing the art of surgery. He had lectures at Playfair, then spent hours at the local hospitals working alongside doctors and fellow students. Along the way, he was learning much about surgeries, and diagnoses, and treatment of conditions and diseases.

"Dady, ye're excelling in these _practica_ ," a veteran teaching physician said one day. Liam had just diagnosed an uncommon cancer in a patient. "I have every expectation you will be a successful doctor."

"Thank you, sir," Liam answered, keeping his enthusiasm in check for professional purposes. The compliment meant the world to him.

When Liam told Kurt that night of the teacher's praise, Kurt was impressed. "I have heard he is not one to give out praise to anyone, Liam. This is quite good."

~~~

By the time Liam arrived at the boarding house each night, usually in the late evenings, he was famished and exhausted. Mrs. Ferguson always saved him a plate piled high with the evening's supper. He would go into the kitchen where his supper and a plate of dessert would sit on a warm part of the stove. He would pour himself a glass of milk from the icebox and sit at the well used work table, the place where countless meals had been prepared over the years like the one at which Annie worked.

When he wasn't hard at studying, Liam's time was spent thinking—and worrying about Dolly. One night at the end of September, he was wondering why he hadn't heard if she was with child. In her past letters, she would write when she had her monthly so he wouldn't worry about pregnancy. Now, she wasn't writing anything about it. Letter after letter, he had asked her to please inform him. Now he realized that he would just have to trust her to tell him if she was. But he also remembered what her wish was. That he would finish his schooling, get his degree, and then come home. Now that September had past, moving towards mid-October, it really did make sense to stay and finish. It was only two more months and all that work behind him. He would write and tell her that no matter what her condition was, he would stay and complete his medical degree.

Done with his supper, Liam heard the standing clock strike midnight. He put his empty plates and glass into the sink and began the long climb to his room in the attic. He stopped at the second-floor bathroom to brush his teeth, wash, and pee. He did not want to use his chamber pot. That would mean he had to clean it the next day.

As he laid his head on the feathery, soft pillow and pulled the sheet and wooly blankets up around his chilly neck, Liam remembered that it was now Friday. He would have letters from home later; that made him feel happy. Soon he fell fast asleep.

~~~

The next few weeks brought a heavy practicum schedule at the Presbyterian charity hospital. A terrible case crossed Liam's path. A young woman was brought in six or seven months pregnant, hemorrhaging heavily. The diagnosis was a miscarriage. Liam and two other doctors worked on her under ether for quite a while but to no avail. She bled to death and the fetus was too underdeveloped to survive. The uterine wall, for whatever reason, had torn irreparably. They thought she may have fallen – quite badly, at that. She had bruises on her knees, upper arms, and on her hip.

While taking a walk around the grounds to clear his head, Liam thought how heartbreaking the case was. _Where was the husband?_ he wondered. If the husband had been there, could she have survived? The practical side of him said he'd better get used to these cases. They occur often enough. _Not everyone can be saved. Sometimes it's no one's fault._

That night, Liam felt relieved that his letters from Dolly were a bit happier and she sounded quite well. She wrote about her encounter with Mary Tisdale and the rings and how Lord Pirrie had saved the day.

... _Your mother insisted I tell her about my rings when I came into the parlor and she was there. I told her I married a catholic boy who's on a ship in the orient in China. He's coming home in December ..._

"Shite," Liam said out loud. He was reading in the sunny window of the parlor that Friday afternoon. He had been allowed an afternoon off for a respite from his near-impossible work load. He had just spent nearly forty-eight hours at the charity hospital. Dolly's letters, although much less morose than the past fall, were a mish-mash of emotions. Her thoughts were all over the place. Annie's letters, on the other hand, were even keeled. He decided Dolly just missed him and was doing her best to cope with the time apart.

At a staff meeting for interns, the Dean and his professors made it clear that they were quite impressed with Liam's success at the accelerated pace. He was still at the top of his class, although the composition of his class had changed since he was no longer carrying a normal class load.

"Your work and performance are exemplary, Mr. Dady," the Dean told him in front of the others.

"Thank you," Liam said. He was pleased.

~~~

It was end of December. The end was finally here. The Dean gave Liam a special pass to be excused from the spring graduation ceremony since he would probably be in America by then. To congratulate Liam, the faculty and Dean held a special luncheon, inviting the top ten from each class. Included were Kurt and Robbie, Liam's cadaver-retrieving team.

At the end of the luncheon, Professor Smythe stood. "May I have everyone's attention, please," he said. He spoke above the din of conversation and revelry of the get-together as he clinked his crystal water glass with a spoon. "I, on behalf of the administration and faculty want to give special praise and a special thank-you to Dr. William Dady, better known as Liam, for the extraordinary effort, not only academically, but in the extra-curricular effort as well. Without those efforts of Liam, Kurt Meyer, and Robbie Grant on a regular basis, we would not be sending out well-prepared and accomplished doctors. So, Liam, we raise a glass to you. Best of luck, and God-speed."

"Here, here!" said everyone gathered. They started chanting in the direction of Liam. "Speech, speech, speech . . ."

Liam faced flushed hot, not used to such attention. He was ready to decline when Kurt and Robbie hoisted him out of his chair and forced him to stand up. The gathered, who mostly were students, cheered. The faculty remained reserved but involved in the festivities.

"I'm not one for puttin' on airs or bringin' attention to myself," Liam said. "But I appreciate your thanks, and I want to thank Dean and the entire faculty for supporting me and letting me accelerate my courses. With this diploma, my wife and I are immigrating to America as soon as possible to try our luck out west somewhere. Thank you again."

With that, Liam sat back down in his desire to hide from all the exposure. He threw back a shot of whiskey that someone, probably Robbie the Scot, had put in front of him. He felt the searing liquid settle in his stomach and start to calm him, taking away the uncomfortable feelings.

Liam and Kurt staggered slightly as they walked back to the boarding house from the luncheon. When they got to the house, Liam began packing his belongings into his steamer trunk.

"Liam, I wanted to give you a farewell gift," Kurt said. He was packing for his Christmas holiday. He would be returning in January.

Liam, nearly finished packing his belongs for good, said, "There was no need to do that, Kurt."

"I know, but I don't think I would've done as well as I did without your help along the way."

"Ye so would've. What did I do?"

Kurt gave Liam a wrapped box.

Liam opened it and discovered a shiny, dark-brown leather messenger bag. "This is perfect for carrying my documents," he said. "Thank you, Kurt. I see it's made in Germany by the stamp here."

"Ah, yes. Good quality by a leather artisan in my hometown." Kurt smiled.

Liam pictured himself in meetings with hospital administrators seeking a position—in America. He liked imagining himself and Dolly, his sweet doctor's wife, in their little house in a town in Big Sky country. He'd seen pictures and drawings of that part of the world. Perhaps Dolly would learn to vegetable-garden. Perhaps they would find themselves with a small farm with a few sheep, a cow, and chickens. Most likely chickens, he thought. He loved fresh eggs. He felt good imagining his new life—his way, with his choice of a wife. _Oh, and lots of children_.

In the foyer of the big boarding house, Liam thanked Mrs. Ferguson for everything and kissed her cheek.

"This is for you, Mrs. Ferguson," Liam said, handing her a jewelry box.

She opened it and gasped. A tear came to her eye. "A gold bracelet, with a wee house charm. How lovely."

"Allow me to help you put it on," Liam suggested. He fastened the clasp around her chubby wrist. "It suits ye."

"No one's ever done that for me. Thank you, Mr. Dady—oh, that should be Dr. Dady." Her ample face beamed in delight.

Liam smiled, too, and gave her another farewell hug. "I'll miss yer blueberry scones."

"Best of luck to ye, and yer dear bride," she said as he walked down the steps of the front stoop.

Moments before, Kurt had helped Liam carry his trunk down the stairs from the attic room. He helped him again now, hoisting the packed trunk on the back rack of the cab.

"I've enjoyed our friendship, Kurt," Liam said.

Kurt's blond hair blew in the cold December wind, his cheeks red and wind-chafed. "Liam, it has been a pleasure." He held out his hand. They shook hands warmly.

"Farewell, my friend," Liam said. "Good luck, and all that." He pulled his friend close and embraced him. Both knew they would probably not cross paths again.

Liam stepped up into the cab. As it drove away, he waved out the window, giving one last goodbye to Kurt and the weepy Mrs. Ferguson. He took one last look at the boarding house and peered down Nicholson Street giving a last glance at Playfair Hall. He was satisfied with his accomplishments at the Royal School for Surgeons. He wondered if he would ever be in this part of the world again. He felt nostalgic for a few moments. But now it was time to look forward.

Liam rested easier when he was on the steamer making his way home to Dolly. Forever. As the passenger ship rolled and rocked across the December-choppy North Channel, Liam laughed and wept in the privacy of his tiny stateroom.

### Chapter 30

For the second year in a row, Dolly and Annie cooked and decorated the Dady mansion for the annual Christmas Eve soiree. It was an event Mrs. Dady lived all year for. And now, her son would be coming home with his degree from The Royal School for Surgeons, graduating early and _summa cum laude_. All she could talk of was how Liam could now get married and have a position at Harland and Wolff as the company physician. "Very prestigious," she boasted.

The day before the party, Dolly had to leave her downstairs cleaning to be sick in the laundry room lavatory. Her regular morning sickness had long abated, which was a blessing. However, she was now six months pregnant and it was becoming increasingly hard to hide her rounding belly. She changed to wearing a smock-like apron and continued to stay on top of adjusting her cleaning schedule around where the Mistress of the house would be at any given time. It was a constant aggravation to avoid her, but it made Dolly physically ill to hear Mrs. Dady prattle on about Liam wedding Mary Tisdale.

_Lord, what fury to be unleashed when the truth comes out_ , Dolly thought. She had an overwhelming dread in the pit of her belly. Liam would be home tonight. He would be the center of attention, distracted and thoroughly annoyed by his mother—and by Mary Tisdale. He would discover Dolly was hiding their pregnancy from him, in heavy collusion with Annie.

"There's gonna be a great row," she thought out loud. It was in the wee hours of the morning of the party, and she was nervously preparing herself for the day and long evening. Instead of being head-over-heels happy her husband would soon be home, Dolly was a royal ball of nervous tension.

A few days before the soiree, Annie had told Dolly she'd arranged for some backup help. "I hired two extra girls, so you can stay in the kitchen with me all night. Ye're just too pregnant now."

"I like that idea, Annie," Dolly responded in relief.

"I don't want Mary Tisdale to lay one spyin' eye on ye," Annie said. "She's too clever, that one."

That was the plan.

~~~

The guests began to arrive at six-thirty on Christmas Eve. Mrs. Dady's high-pitched, manic, one-sided banter could be heard all the way from the foyer into the kitchen with the door closed.

"God Almighty, Annie," Dolly said," I feel my head and neck tense up. And I feel sick again."

"Darlin' ye've got to calm yerself. Ye're no good to anyone sick."

"Let me get these plates ready, then. I need things to do."

Dolly made sure the platters and baskets were filled with sausages, lamb chops, and bread. She kept coffee and hot water for tea at the ready for the hired girls to keep the buffet table full. She opened bottles of red wine from France that the Dadys had brought home from their summer holiday.

"Annie, I have to run to the lavatory. I'm gonna puke."

She just made it to the toilet. When she finished, she heard a noise of voices from the other side of the house. _I wonder if Liam has come home._

As she wiped her mouth with running water at the sink, Dolly heard the door open and close. She pleaded with God _, please don't let it be Mrs. Dady or worse, Mary_. She turned to see Liam moving quickly to her, frightening her enough to yelp. They ran into each other's arms. At once she knew he felt the protruding belly. He gazed at her. The face that had expressed joy as he came across the room was now full of astonishment and betrayal.

"Why the hell didn't ye tell me, Dolly?"

"I wanted ye to finish school. By the time I found out, ye had less than three months to go." Her eyes welled and overflowed. "Ye worked so hard."

"Jesus." He softened to her rapidly. "I can't stay angry with ye. What's done is done." He kissed her and kneeled to kiss her big belly.

An obnoxious female voice came from the open laundry room door. "I'll say what's done is done. I guessed right, Liam. It _is_ the pretty little housekeeper."

Startled, both Liam and Dolly looked up to see a smirking Mary Tisdale, all decked out in her new crimson ball gown.

"Damn ye Mary, this is a private conversation. Get the hell out."

Mary gave Liam a spoiled, indignant expression as she tried to stand her ground.

"Get out!" Liam yelled, walking with intention across the room. He took her roughly by the arm to escort her toward the kitchen.

"Unhand me, you barbarian," Mary bellowed.

"Who do ye think ye are, ye spoiled brat? Ye think ye're so civilized?" Liam's voice was soft but menacing as he moved her into the kitchen, Dolly right behind him.

Halfway across the kitchen, the swinging door burst open with Liam's mother rushing in, Annie behind her.

"What's all this noise at my party?" Mrs. Dady said. "What's the meaning of this—rudeness?"

Mary Tisdale was ostensibly in her element. "What a situation I discovered back there in the laundry room. How clever of your son to be cavorting with the servant girl." Her demeanor was nothing less than malicious. "And you thought I would make a good match. I think he's already made his own match, Mrs. Dady. Your cleaning girl is pregnant."

"What ...who ...?" Liam's mother fumed.

Mary watched Liam's mother with an arrogant, amused look on her face. "You were all out of my class, anyway," Mary said, wielding the last humiliating blow to the elder Mrs. Dady. She turned and walked away.

"Just keep goin' out the front door, Mary." Liam's words chased her out of the kitchen.

The swinging door wedged open somehow as Mary sashayed out of the room, red silk dress swishing in her triumph.

"I'll be nothing but a laughing stock," Liam's mother murmured. Shock began to cross her face. It quickly turned to rage.

By now, all the guests were gawking through the open door, murmuring amongst themselves excitedly.

Dolly heard someone say, "Has Liam married a Catholic housekeeper, behind his parents' backs? She's pregnant?"

"What is this?" Liam's mother hollered with a guttural sound. "How could you, Liam? Right under my nose. You're supposed to marry in your class."

Dolly stepped forward and stood, not behind Liam as a servant anymore, but alongside, her six-month belly purposefully in full view. The people standing around the open kitchen door, looked rapt with the unfolding drama. Annie stepped to Liam's other side.

Mrs. Dady's rage was focused on Dolly. "How dare you come into my house thinking you could trap my wealthy son into marrying you by getting pregnant!"

"She didn't trap me, Mother," Liam said. "Her coming to work here was my idea. I fell in love with her completely on my own. I do have a brain, you know."

"She wormed her way in, just when there was a suitable match found for you."

"Do you mean Mary, that spoiled brat? She's no match for me. I wouldn't marry her. You're shallow and wrapped up in the pretense of high society, and so is she. That's not for me. Besides, it wasn't your choice to make."

"Well, if you think I'm going to bless a union with a housekeeper, and a Catholic at that, you have another thing coming. No son of mine will ever marry a Catholic!"

"It's too late, Mother. We were married last June." Liam reached for Dolly's hand and held out their two left hands with the silver wedding bands and Dolly's topaz engagement ring.

"You lied to me, girl. You said you married a Catholic boy."

"My name is Dolly, Mrs. Dady, not 'girl', and I didn't lie about that. That he was Catholic," Dolly said in a strong voice.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I converted to marry her, Mother."

There was a collective audible gasp from the guests at the door.

Apparently, that was too much for Mrs. Dady. She collapsed to the floor, fainting dead away. Liam and two other guests picked her up and took her to her chaise in the parlor. She came to as Liam and Dolly waved smelling salts under her nose, and Annie put a small glass of brandy to her lips.

"OH! God in Heaven. All of you get away from me." She flung her arms and hands at them. Then she turned on Annie. "You knew all along, didn't you? How long have they been cavorting and carrying on under my nose?"

Annie straightened up. "That would be none of your business, Mrs. Dady." Her voice was level and firm.

"How dare you," Mrs. Dady growled through her teeth. "You are fired. And so are you, you little hussy," she hissed, pointing her finger at Dolly. "And Liam, you are forbidden to see her, and we are getting the marriage annulled," she said, spittle flying out of her mouth.

"You'll do no such thing," he said. "It's not up to you. Besides, you'd have to take it up with the Pope, and he'll probably not bother with what any man, or woman for that matter, can't change once the vows are blessed. Catholics take marriage vows very seriously." He took Dolly's hand.

The elder Mrs. Dady made another weak attempt at arguing and accusing, but Liam raised his hand to stop her and turned away.

"Don't you walk away from me," Mrs. Dady cried.

"We've made previous arrangements, all of us, so we are able to leave on a moment's notice," Liam said. "It'll take just a few minutes, and the three of us will be gone." The argument was over.

Mrs. Dady began to wail.

As the three started to leave, Liam turned back. "Mother, stop. You're only crying because your shallow games are over. All ye cared about was your station in society, and it has played itself out. Hasn't it?"

As the three passed the stairs in the foyer, Liam looked up at his father, who had finally come out of hiding to face the guests. Mr. Dady stopped half way and addressed his son one last time. "You know you're out of the will," he said evenly.

Liam shrugged at his father. "It doesn't matter." He, Dolly, and Annie headed back to the kitchen.

Lord Pirrie stepped into the kitchen, following the three. "Let me offer you my carriage to take you wherever you need to go, Liam and ladies. It's the least I can do. I've been in your shoes, believe it or not."

"Thank you, Lord Pirrie," Liam said. "I think we'll take you up on that."

The three of them put on their coats and grabbed their already-packed satchels and one last carpetbag.

"Allow me to tell you, before you go, what I said to your father, Liam."

"Yes, Lord Pirrie?"

"I told him that he has been an excellent administrator at the firm, but a lousy father. He claimed you owed him, because he paid for your education under the agreement you'd work at the company. He says you lied to him."

"He's right on that account. I'll send him his money."

"I told him you owed him nothing. It was he who owed you, considering all these years of neglect and very little support growing up. In the days of aloof fathers, he took it to extremes. I told him he owed you your education to make something of yourself in the world. I said he was the only one that didn't see the good man you've become."

"Thank you, Lord Pirrie. I will always remember your efforts. I appreciate how you've taken a kind interest in me all these years. I also appreciated how you assisted my wife on her way home from Scotland last June."

"Assisting your wife was my pleasure. You've got a wise and wonderful woman, Liam. Strong, too. Good luck in all you do. If you ever need anything ..."

Dolly glanced at Lord Pirrie with a look of appreciation and respect as he exited the kitchen.

~~~

Late that night at Mary O'Brien's house, Liam and Dolly were lying awake. Dolly had been inconsolable for hours as Liam held her, his body nestled against her back. It was near four in the morning when she finally cried herself out, exhausted.

"I'm sorry for everythin'," she said at last, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Don't ye dare be sorry," he whispered firmly. "Ye haven't done anythin' except love me."

Dolly seemed more peaceful at that and half smiled while pulling Liam's hand over her round belly. "I guess that's true," she said. Her nose was plugged and she sounded terribly tired.

He smiled at her little joke. Liam was exhausted, too, but that didn't stop him from a strong sexual arousal toward her. She responded by putting his hand on her breasts, encouraging him to knead them as she sighed in relief and moaned in pleasure. She rolled to her back.

"Yer breasts are bigger. Firmer." He leaned to kiss them through her night gown, propping himself on his elbow for better access. He reached down to bring up her nightgown to suckle her.

"Oh, God in Heaven ..." she whispered and pulled his head into her while pushing her breasts into his slippery tongue. "It feels good ..." Her arousal was more intense than any time before, moaning and breathing heavier. By now her legs were spread, and she pulled him on top of her, imploring him to come inside.

"I don't want to hurt ye," he said.

"Ye won't if ye just stay off my belly. I want ye bad, Liam. Come, please," she begged.

He couldn't refuse. Perhaps it was the male response to his sense of virility that he had impregnated her that drove him to have her.

"If I start, I won't be able to stop," he said.

She giggled quietly as he pushed gently inside her and tried to go as slow as possible. It didn't work. He had not an ounce of control but did manage to stay off her belly.

~~~

"Christ, I hope we didn't wake anyone up. I know for certain the O'Brien's gave us this squeaky bed for a laugh," Liam joked. Dolly tried to stifle a snort. She was still quite congested from crying earlier. "Patrick is probably doubled up in his bed, listenin' to us creak away." Laughing made the bed jiggle with movement once again. Liam and Dolly resumed their spooning position. They fell asleep and slept for the next twelve hours straight.

When they awoke, Liam startled at Dolly's surprised response to where she was. As they leaned back on the pillows, the events of the night before came back to them. The argument, the ruination of his mother's prized Christmas party, and the scandalous return of the doctor-son.

Liam remembered first. "Happy Christmas, my love. It's our first together married."

"Happy Christmas, Liam." Dolly kissed him sweetly, and then grimaced.

She got up to use the chamber pot, breathing an exaggerated sigh of comfort at the relief in her bladder. It made him smile.

"Things are different for ye, inside yer body."

"I have to pee constantly, and I'm hungry all the time."

"How's the hungry one different?"

They laughed.

"I didn't get ye anythin' for Christmas," Dolly said, returning to the bed. It creaked obnoxiously. She raised her eyebrows and her green eyes smiled. "But I'm wide awake now." She straddled him, leaning down to offer her breasts again. He accepted with alacrity.

"Ummm," he uttered as he settled inside her and rubbed her belly. "My baby is my gift."

She smiled and Liam rode the wave in his own sweet way, happily taking Dolly over the crest with him.

Liam smiled. "The bed squeaked mightily again."

"I don't care if the whole world heard us."

### Chapter 31

Several days later, Liam and Dolly went to visit Annie, who was now living at her widowed sister's. Her sister's house was a five-minute walk from the O'Brien's in the same parish. It was a good arrangement. Annie's sister Sadie had two children needing looking after when they came home from parochial school. Sadie worked at one of the dry goods stores in the neighborhood. Annie would also be cooking for the church two nights a week—corned beef and cabbage night and ham dinner night—for a small stipend. She had been able to save quite a bit of money while she worked at the Dady's and could live off the interest it earned each month. Liam set up an emigration account for her, which she would draw on when it was time for her to join them in America, in four to six months.

"I've got all our documents, including a passport and entry papers applied for," Liam said to Annie. "I've made a list of everything you'll need and where to go for your passage and application for immigration."

Liam and Dolly were sitting with Sadie, Annie, and Sadie's family for supper, roast saddle of mutton with all the trimmings. It was a bright house, but on the small side, just around the corner from the parish church and school. Sadie's girls, eight and ten, were the spitting images of their mother and aunt, with auburn hair, freckles and pale blue eyes. They were Irish beauties, all of them. The two girls, Bridgette and Nancy, were extremely fond of Liam, pestering him until Sadie intervened.

"Pour Liam can't get a bite in his mouth," she said. "You two need to cease and desist, if ye know what's good for ye." Her voice matched her look of annoyance at the girls' lack of etiquette.

"I tell ye what," Liam said. "Once we're finished at the table and clean-up's done, and yer Mam says it's all right, we can have a short wrestle on the parlor floor, just to get the wiggles out o' ye. But we can't break anythin'."

Liam glanced at Sadie and got a go-ahead glance. Liam gave her an I'm-sorry shrug.

"Have ye been well?" Annie asked Dolly. "Have ye seen the doctor again?"

"No, but I will see him before we go. And yes, I've been well, now that Liam is home for good."

Months before, Annie had taken Dolly to the doctor just after she began to have morning sickness. The doctor gave her praise for how well she was eating, and he stated that overall she was in good health. He told her that if she felt tired, to take a nap. If she felt hungry, eat. If she had any bleeding, come to see him, though he also said that bleeding could be a normal part of pregnancy. "Ye're a tiny girl, a wee bit frail," the doctor said. "Don't climb on ladders, hold on when goin' up and down stairs, and don't carry heavy objects."

Now that Liam was home and they were gone from the Dady's, Dolly, in her ecstatically good mood, had inadvertently forgotten to let Liam in on that bit of medical information.

"I can see yer appetite is still goin' strong." Annie grinned as she teased Dolly. "Is that yer second, or third helpin' of the meat and vegetables?"

Liam laughed.

"I wouldn't laugh," Annie quipped at Liam, giving him a sideways look. "You've been known to gorge yourself, and ye've never been pregnant." Everyone laughed at the remark.

Dolly reflected in that moment that even though they had felt familiar and safe at the Dady's, it had been right to leave and start a new life. They had all been miserable living there. The only reason Annie had stayed on as long as she had was because of Liam and the neglectful state he was living in. Someone had to take care of him. Coming along at the exact, right time, Dolly had been the impetus.

Later that evening, Annie, Liam, and Dolly drank a last cup of tea, relaxing in Sadie's parlor while Sadie put her girls to bed. It wasn't yet time to say goodnight, and they were enjoying the companionship and closeness they had shared at the Dady mansion kitchen.

"Do ye believe in things happenin' for a reason?" Annie asked. "That God throws ye a message to get out of the misery and rut ye've been in, 'cause ye don't know any better, and He wants ye to be happier?" She paused. "I've been thinkin' a lot lately about what came about since ye went out that birthday night, Liam. Two years ago, was it?" She stopped and looked at Dolly and Liam. "What I'm sayin' is, what brought ye to that brothel, Liam? And there ye were, Dolly. From what ye said, Liam, ye wandered, not payin' any attention to where ye were goin'. Ye met Dolly and less than two years later ye're a doctor, for Heaven's sake. And Dolly, yer married to a doctor. Where were ye back then?"

"I know what yer sayin', Annie," Liam added. "Even though we may think we have control over our lives, perhaps there's somethin' bigger, a force that drives us."

"Then perhaps we should pay closer attention to those messages when we need to be happier," Dolly added mindfully. She put her hand on her belly. "But I don't remember hearin' anything. Things just happened, although I used to pray for someone good to come along."

They all sat silently sipping their tea, each in their own private reflection.

~~~

Two weeks after his initial visit Liam went back to City Hall. He checked in at the office where he had applied for their passport and the other documents needed for their emigration. Everything was in order. Now he was ready to book passage on a White Star ocean liner for New York. He found out they'd have to get to Liverpool, the port from which New-York-bound ships departed. A week ago, he and Dolly had been given a clean bill of health from the doctor. Even though winter trans-Atlantic crossings could be rough, Liam was bound and determined to go as soon as possible. If an ocean liner was going to New York, he wanted to be on it.

He went to the passenger line office at the Belfast docks and was able to procure a second-class room from Liverpool, England, on the _Teutonic_ in one week. That would give them enough time to ready their belongings, which didn't amount to much. They would bring one big steamer trunk, Dolly's carpetbag, and Liam's leather satchel with all their paperwork, including his medical school diploma and letters of recommendation. He would have enough money for them to be able to get the things they didn't haul there. Once they were in New York, he would have to wire the Edinburgh bank to transfer his funds and exchange them for American dollars. Before he left, he had already made arrangements at the bank in Scotland.

"I'm frightened of the boat and the water," Dolly said in his arms on their last night in Belfast.

"It's like a floatin' city," Liam said. "The passengers will be dinin', and dancin', and havin' parties."

"Five days, ye say?"

"That's all. Don't be scared, darlin'. I'm with ye the whole way."

He held her tightly as she cried herself to sleep.

~~~

Annie, Sadie and the girls, and an assortment of O'Briens came to the docks wish Dolly and Liam a bon voyage. Annie was in tears, as was Dolly as she hugged her.

"I'll be comin' soon, darlin'," Annie tried to reassure her. "I know it's all so grand and unknown, but it will all be fine. Send me a post card from New York. I'll be waitin' for it."

Liam took Annie away from the group to have special time with her. After all, they meant a lot to each other, like a son and mother. They held one another for a long time, not wanting to let go. When Liam did break the embrace, he looked into Annie's tear-filled eyes.

"I know I'll be seein' ye soon, but I wanted to let ye know that you've been a strong force for me. Ye loved me and I'll never forget that." He kissed her on the lips strongly and meaningfully.

Annie could not speak. She put her hand on his cheek, looking at him lovingly, and gave him her own kiss. "Do ye have yer watch?" she whispered.

"In my pocket, next to my heart," he answered, touching his chest.

The on-board signal was given.

"God in Heaven, I love ye, boy," Annie finally managed to speak but she could say no more.

Arm-in-arm, they walked back to the group. Liam shook hands with Patrick. "Stay safe, Paddy," he said. They embraced.

"You have a good life, my brother."

Liam turned to Mary O'Brien. "Thanks for the room and board, Mother Mary. Ye'll find an envelope on the kitchen table."

"I don't want anythin'. Ye're like a son to me, too." Mary teared up.

"I left it while ye weren't lookin' 'cause I knew ye wouldn't take it otherwise. Put it away for a nest egg." He hugged her.

"God bless ye, Liam," Mary croaked through the tears.

As Dolly and Liam parted from the group, Liam gave Annie's hand one last squeeze. Up the gangway they went, made their way up to the first deck, and stood at the railing until the steamer ship cast off, slowly making its way into the harbor and out towards the open water.

~~~

It was an overnight trip to Liverpool where Dr. and Mrs. Dady were put up in a rather seedy hotel near the White Star Line docks. At least they didn't have to share a room with anyone. There were hundreds of people from all over Europe waiting to board the same ocean liner for America. Many of them were crammed like sardines into small rooms, if they had the money to pay for said room. Some of them seemed well-to-do, but the vast majority were poor.

"Liam, how can some of these people afford to go? When ye told me how much it's costin' us, I couldn't believe it."

"I don't know. Where's there's a strong will, there's always a way."

"Where did you get all that money?"

"Don't ye remember what my means of makin' money was in Edinburgh—"

"I don't want to hear any more of it," she said, half smiling.

Liam didn't know whether to smile or look sheepish.

After finding a pub and eating a supper of sausage and mashed potatoes, in bed that night, Dolly told Liam she didn't know if she wanted to make love. She was so full of anxiety over the enormity of what they were embarking upon. Liam held her in their favorite position, stacked side-by-side like a couple of spoons. He soothingly rubbed her lower back.

"We just left our home, Liam." Dolly's voice sounded lost and far away.

"Well, except for Annie bein' there, it wasn't a very happy home for either of us."

Suddenly Dolly turned toward him. More like rolled, with her belly. She kissed him in a building frenzy of nerves and sadness; it was a combination of loss and fear, of hope and expectation. "Lay on your back," she demanded, pushing him down.

"Remember, I'll not turn ye down if ye need me, so ye don't have to—"

"Shut yer bloody gob, Liam." She slammed her pubic bone into him.

He needed to stop her for fear of the baby, so he grabbed her close as he rolled her to her side.

"Stop," he said gently yet firmly. He held her so she couldn't move, although she was now shaking uncontrollably. "Ye're afraid, I know. So am I. We're doin' somethin' bloody big here. Somethin' I've only dreamed of and never thought I'd ever do." His soft voice and words appeared to be calming her. "Take deep, slow breaths," he said.

He stroked her neck and hair slowly. "Let me hold ye, darlin'." He felt her relax and calm as he stroked her neck and back, kissed her sweetly, and whispered little things to her as if he were comforting a child. It wasn't long before they were making slow, calm love. Their release made peace with the world, and peace with the road they had chosen to take.

~~~

Liam realized with horror that the Atlantic crossing was a vertigo hell for Dolly. The Belfast to Liverpool trip was the beginning of it. She had no sea legs and never got them. Liam had to hold onto her wherever they went so she wouldn't fall over, especially on stairs.

"I'm afraid of the stairs, Liam," she cried on her first day out on the open sea. "They're so steep and I'm so dizzy."

He would not let her out of his sight, even in his bit of sea sickness on the rough Atlantic. They were fortunate that no big storms came. And by the last two days of the crossing, there was abundant sunshine and moonlight and relatively calm seas.

After luncheon, Dolly and Liam decided they'd get some fresh air and found two empty chaises on deck in the bright sun.

"I've forgotten my ladies' magazine in our room," she said.

He was stretched out on a chaise, covering himself with a big wool blanket. The air was cold, just a little above freezing.

"I'll go get it," he offered, and started to get up.

"I can go get it," she remarked, sounding irritated. "It's only around the corner and down the hall a little way."

"All right, ye don't need to bite me head off," he teased. He was feeling lazy after his meal. She was right. It wasn't that far. He watched her as she swayed away, noticing her balance was only a bit better on the calmer sea. He dozed off.

The next thing he knew, he was being awakened by a porter. Liam, disoriented, looked at the porter's face, which was clouded over in serious concern.

"Dr. Dady. Please come with me. Your wife is in the infirmary. She's ... she is injured, sir."

Liam could not fully register what had been said. "What did ye say?"

"You're wife, she's badly injured."

A feeling of abject dread enveloped him. He could barely move. "Oh, Jesus..." he cried under his breath. His heart was in his throat as he followed the porter to the infirmary in second class.

Dolly was on a gurney in the exam room with the ship's doctor next to her. The doctor looked pale and grave. Liam rushed to Dolly. She was conscious but in pain. Her face was deathly ashen.

"I'm sorry, Liam. I fell down the stairs. Please don't be angry, it's not ye're fault."

"I'm not angry—Oh, God, Dolly." He was horrified. He looked down and noticed the heavy bleeding. He looked desperately at the attending doctor, his heart full of fear. Tears began to well in his eyes. "Doctor, what can ye do?"

"I can put her under and see if I can stop the bleeding," the doctor said. But his eyes told Liam it was nearly useless.

"Then do it, man."

Liam felt helpless and it made him angry. The doctor did not look optimistic. Just the opposite. Liam looked to Dolly.

"Don't be sad, Liam. I'll always love ye." Her eyes were large and glassy, with a faraway gaze.

What are ye sayin'?" Liam was near hysterics. He started to pick her up to hold her.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," she said. "Look at me, Liam," she said peacefully. "I'm an angel now."

The attending physician took a rubber breathing apparatus to administer ether and put it over her nose and mouth. But she had stopped breathing. He took it off.

"Dr. Dady," the doctor spoke with great sympathy. "It's no use."

"What do you mean, it's no use? Do somethin'! She's my wife! We're havin' a baby!" Liam was desperate. He grabbed the doctor's lapels and shook him. "In Heaven's name, do somethin'!" Liam began to wail in agonizing grief.

"Weaver," the doctor said to the porter. "Go get ship's security. Now."

The porter ran out.

"Doctor Dady, I implore you—"

"I fuckin' implore you!! God damn it!!"

By the time the security men arrived at the infirmary, Liam had knocked the doctor to the floor and torn the room apart. After a short struggle, the security men were able to subdue Liam physically. Once they had him contained, the ship's doctor gave Liam a strong sedative with a syringe into his thigh. Liam continued to struggle in his raging grief.

"No! Dolly!! No! No!" He screamed until he passed out.

~~~

The next thing Liam remembered, a motherly, sympathetic, woman about Annie's age was with him. He was in a hospital room.

"Hello, Dr. Dady, my name is Sophie." The woman spoke said kindly and softly in an Irish lilt. Liam did his best to focus his eyes on her. "The officer can unhook ye if ye stay calm, and I'll help ye through the immigration processing, so ye can get off the island."

Liam didn't say anything, but must've given the officer and the lady an indication they could unlock the handcuffs. He had been secured to the bed by both wrists.

"The doctor gave ye another sedative," the woman said. "And I do believe we're ready to go to the main buildin'. I have all your things, and your trunk is safe. I'll stay with ye the whole time."

The woman took Liam to an enormous building next to the hospital. She helped him fill out the paperwork to enter the country and to get Dolly's body released to be buried ashore in New Jersey.

"Do ye have anyone ye want to write to back home to let them know what happened, love?" They were sitting in an office somewhere. The woman helped him with a letter to Annie, and they put it in the mail chute in the hall.

"That'll go on the next boat back, darlin'."

Liam looked into the woman's eyes for the first time since she'd begun to help him. It seemed like hours ago. He suddenly noticed the two officers in the room with them.

"Dr. Dady," the nice Irish lady said. "Do ye remember what happened? Do ye know why the two policemen are here?"

Liam didn't speak. He looked at the woman again, and several tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I know, love, ye hurt. I'm so sorry for ye." She put a hand on his, tears filled her own eyes. She took a deep breath and gathered herself again. "Ye're goin' to stay with me for a few days until everythin's taken care of. I live in Jersey City right here. Ye'll be able to bury yer wife in a Catholic cemetery. My priest will do the honors."

With those words spoken, Liam bent his head down and withdrew from reality again. It was too much to bear.

~~~

He did not remember talking to the priest, or much of the graveside funeral. He remembered it was cold and the snow falling in big flakes coming straight down among the grave markers.

~~~

A week later, Liam realized he could no longer stay at the nice Irish woman's house, although Sophie had been a great comfort and help. He did start to eat again but he hadn't shaved since he arrived, although he did give himself two cursory sponge baths. His hostess had washed his laundry for him. Now, he gathered up his things and put them in his leather satchel and the carpetbag. Sophie had given him a warm winter coat, gloves, and a black newsboy cap.

"It's January, you'll need it," she said. "My husband passed away last spring. I'm glad to find someone who can use these things."

Liam finally noticed that he had Dolly's necklace on with the charms he had given her. It lay next to his heart now. He glanced at his left hand. The wedding ring was still there. Liam felt his heart ache viciously. He decided to leave behind the steamer trunk, Dolly's clothing, the America book, and anything he did not want to carry. Liam wrote a short thank you note and left money on the kitchen table, explaining it was for his room and board. He went out the front door and walked into the cold North Jersey wind. He headed in what he thought was the direction of the bank he had transferred his savings to earlier that week. He found it a few blocks away and walked in. He offered his documents for identification and withdrew several hundred dollars from the account and arranged with them that he would withdraw the funds when he found another bank. With that pocketed, he headed for the train station and randomly bought a one-way ticket to Chicago.

The trip to Chicago took a few days, with winter weather and other delays. The sky was perennially bleak and solid gray. Liam sat by himself and made no effort to talk to people. After a while, he was left to himself by the train attendants and the other passengers.

~~~

It was terribly cold when Liam arrived at Grand Central station, downtown Chicago. With his bags in hand, he stepped off the Pullman into a cacophony of noise, steam, and frozen breath. He barely noticed the bustling crowd bundled against the frigid air, greeting or bidding farewell to loved ones.

He stood for a long time at a street entry of the station. It was extremely windy, and it made him want to go back inside. His nostrils dried and froze in the numbing cold. Pulling the collar of his coat around his ears, he began to take tentative steps. Then Liam Dady, heartbroken and alone, went forward aimlessly into the chaotic, indifferent, already-freed huddled masses.

### Chapter 32

Kelly Ann Sullivan was a diminutive introvert with pale skin and blue eyes. She had coppery red hair—a disobedient mass of curls if left loose. She had a profusion of freckles on her face and arms. It was common knowledge at the Chicago Irish neighborhood boarding house where she worked, that she had been orphaned at the age of eleven. Her destitute mother died of influenza four years after Kelly's perennially delinquent, alcoholic father abandoned them. Before her death, Kelly's mother was so destitute, she resorted to prostitution in an attempt to earn money to house, clothe and feed her only child. Kelly was undernourished and virtually uneducated when the nuns at the convent in the Irish section of Chicago took her in. It had been rumored between the nuns that Kelly's mother, who had also turned to drink, may have acquiesced to a drunken john who wanted to have Kelly when she was seven. Kelly would never speak of it but the common consensus was that it had probably happened from time to time until her mother died. Finally, with Kelly out of profound poverty, she flourished as much as she could, though she was severely introverted and remained a bit slow in her learning. Her grades at the parochial school were quite poor. The other school children ended up ignoring her because the nuns would punish those who antagonized her. As a result, she faded into a colorless background, alone and friendless. The nuns, amongst themselves, started to call Kelly Sullivan "the invisible child." They took great sympathy and she remained well cared for and loved by the Sisters, cloistered amongst them in the convent.

Kelly was blossoming into a fine young woman. She was a bit plain in looks, but by no means unattractive. Soon after she turned eighteen, she was given a low-wage position at the run-down, yet tidy boarding house not far from the convent. She was appointed the cook's assistant. There, she flourished in her budding, newfound craft of cooking.

"Kelly," the plump, elderly cook named Flossie said one day as she perused the prepared dining room table. "You are out-cookin' me! Look at these loaves of soda bread and the lamb stew. It all smells heavenly."

Kelly was pleased with her cooking and she blushed more than smiled. She rarely if ever spoke but she had taken to the sweetly pleasant, grandmotherly woman.

"It's all right to say somethin' darlin'," Flossie said kindly. "Ye don't have to be scared o' me."

"Thank you, Miss Flossie," Kelly whispered. She fleetingly glanced at Flossie with affection.

When she turned nineteen, she was given a bed of her own in Flossie's room in the back near the kitchen. A few weeks after Kelly moved in, Flossie passed away. Shortly thereafter she became the only cook.

Although she did well, Kelly was so introverted that she never strived to be a part of the people in her surroundings. She would speak politely when spoken to, but she would never initiate conversation unless absolutely necessary. The Mother Superior gave Kelly's care over to a devout congregation member who was the boarding house manager, Bill Ronan. He was to report back to Mother Superior and keep male boarders from bothering her.

At the end of November, Bill kicked a boarder out of the house for good. The man had sweet-talked Kelly into coming to his room late one night. Bill gave him a proper thrashing out on the street. Turns out the man couldn't keep his mouth shut to the other male boarders and Bill got wind of it. Luckily, the sex proved unfruitful and Kelly went on cooking, now with an extra-vigilant house manager. Bill put a slide bolt on the inside of her bedroom door and gave her a lesson in not being fooled by sweet talk from men.

"But it felt nice," she said unabashedly.

"The Sisters will skin ye alive, Kelly, and ye'll have to go back to the convent. Everyone here likes yer meals. So, stay away from the men."

"What if—"

"Ye're to be in your room by ten o'clock, and slide the bolt," Bill said sternly.

"Yes, Mr. Ronan," she said.

Kelly stayed away from the men, continued cooking, and rarely spoke.

A few weeks later, Bill came to her again. She had just come back from grocery shopping. "Kelly, sweetheart, ye're supposed to tell me the sink drain pipe was leakin', so I can get the plumber straight off," he said as kindly as possible. "The plumber's in now."

"Oh, sorry, Mr. Ronan." Kelly's apology was barely audible.

~~~

When Liam moved into the boarding house on a hot June afternoon about six months after arriving in Chicago, Kelly instinctively recognized a kindred spirit. She also thought he was the most beautiful man alive looking past the scruff and his constant sorrow. It took her weeks to say anything to him. Her secret love for Liam drove her out of her hard shell even if it was for scant one or two words a week.

"More stew, Liam?" she asked him in a sweet, soft voice at the supper table one evening. It was a warm October day, and Liam was making an unusual appearance at supper. Kelly's utterance surprised everyone at the table.

"Yes, please," Liam's replied, barely audible. He glanced at her.

Thrilled, yet fearful that he responded she ladled more stew into his bowl blushing as she realized he looked at her briefly.

"I didn't know ye knew how to talk Kelly," blurted a young boarder. He was a homely young man with dirty brown hair and yellow teeth. "Maybe you and I could go dancin' some evenin'."

She froze in her spot but she remembered she was standing behind Liam Dady. She felt safe.

"I didn't know you knew how to dance, Donal," said an old man at the table. He had a twinkle in his eye.

"When I'm lyin' down, I'm grand with the moves," Donal joked. He put his arms up as if he were holding a dance partner. He had an offensive grin on his face, glaring lewdly at her.

Liam snapped his eyes up and glared fiercely at the young man, who immediately shrank into his chair at the table.

"She's off limits to ye," Liam said with quiet menace. "If ye touch her, ye'll be sorry for it."

Donal, trying to regain some composure, started to stiffen into a pose to challenge Liam.

The old man put a hand on the boy's arm. "I wouldn't be so unwise as to challenge 'The Iron Fist,' Donal. Do ye see those knuckles? Have ye not seen him fight?"

Donal glanced at Liam's abraded weapons, and went back to eating his stew and soda bread brooding. He said no more to her and his lewd glances summarily ceased.

In Kelly's mind, that small bit of chivalry on her behalf convinced her that Liam loved her and wanted to protect her. It gave her new inner confidence and sent her lonely heart soaring. After that she started to leave treats on Liam's bed stand. She also started to straighten up his room and change his bed more than once a week on top of what the hired cleaner and launderer did. She'd sneak the room key when Bill wasn't looking.

~~~

It was nearly Christmas. Chicago was in a cold snap with temperatures dipping to sub-zero at night. Liam had started to find treats on his nightstand around the time of the little supper confrontation back in October. He first discovered them upon returning to the boarding house in the wee hours, drunk and beaten up. Liam's room was always neat, and he had clean linens more than just once a week. Fuzzily, he thought it must be Kelly. He would avoid her then. He didn't think himself worthy of company, let alone female company. _I killed my wife, after all, by not getting her magazine for her on the ship, leading her to her death fall._

Filled with self-loathing, Liam made every effort to avoid Kelly.

After Liam earned a knock-out in his fight for the week, a man approached Liam who was standing at the bar.

"I work for Sheridan McKay," the man said. He was wearing a leather vest and newsboy cap.

"Who's he?" Liam was irritated that the man was invading his personal space.

"He's a promoter. He likes your mad style in the ring, and yer skills are brilliant. He wants ye as one of his fighters. He's offerin' a lot of money and travel 'round the country. If ye accept, ye have to be in Kansas City, Missouri in two days. Meet us at the Dublin Pub."

Liam accepted just to get out of Chicago. He was beginning to think too much about Dolly and moving around the country would, perhaps, take his mind off her. He would have to leave the next morning then. The idea feebly stimulated him.

Just before he left the bar, Liam bought a pint of whiskey. This worked as an insomnia remedy. He would drink, pass out, and wake the next morning, recalling no dreams. He began the frigid walk to the boarding house, hunched against the cold, skin-biting wind.

At the boarding house as he headed for the stairs to the second floor, Liam saw the kitchen light on at the end of the first-floor hall. It was never on at that time of morning. Thinking Kelly may be up, he tip-toed as best he could, which was in fact, not very good at all, since he stubbed his boot toe on a stair halfway up and nearly fell to his hands and knees.

"Jesus Christ, ye fuckin' eejit," he hissed at himself. He recovered and continued on to his room.

~~~

Kelly was hiding in the kitchen when Liam returned that night. She knew his habits. Her stomach tightened with fear when she heard him. She nearly peed herself, but she gritted her teeth, pursed her lips, and quietly followed him. She had remembered from a long time ago, a favorite nun told her that if she wanted something, she should pray on it.

"If it feels right, Kelly Ann, then go seek it," the elderly nun had advised.

She hadn't realized the nun meant something like a pair of needed shoes or a new dress or a job. It had never occurred to her that Sister Gloriana was not including a man in that wisdom. So, pray, she did.

"Dear God," she'd prayed all afternoon and evening when no one would hear her. "It feels right to go to Liam Dady. He's lonely and I want to make him feel better. I'll bring him a piece of my raisin cake when he gets home."

In her mind, he wasn't like the other man who had put his penis in her. Liam was her protector.

~~~

Liam closed his bedroom door behind him as he stumbled in. He took the pint out of his coat pocket and put it on the side table, making a loud thud in his quiet room. After the bottle, he took out the trinkets of his trouser pockets and put them on the table. He found it challenging to undress down to his worn long johns, every movement a struggle. He sat down hard on the bed and reached for the whiskey and twisted it open. The cork immediately dropped to the floor and he dizzily fell to his knees to retrieve it. Cursing under his breath, he clumsily climbed back to the bed, cork in hand. He put the bottle to his lips and chugged. He was forced to stop when he heard a soft knock on his door, otherwise the whole pint would've been gone. He maladroitly replaced the cork in the bottle, put it on his night table, and staggered across the room.

Irritated, he opened the door to find Kelly. She was standing in the cold hall with a large piece of raisin cake on a fancy plate. He looked at her with one eye, swaying.

"It's my birthday, Liam. I'm twenty. I wanted you to have a piece of my cake. It's raisin, from the Old Country." She heaved a nervous sigh.

"Is that a fact," he said hoarsely. The harsh whiskey made his throat burn. Through the alcohol fog he saw her nervous, innocently sweet face framed in what seemed an untamable storm of curly copper hair. Her kindness softened him. "Come in," he said in the same hoarse whisper, widening the space for her to walk through.

As she entered the room, she gasped at Liam's swollen cheekbone and cut eyebrow. She flew into a motherly frenzy.

"Liam, ye're hurt. Let me clean yer eye before ye have yer cake."

He realized that from the time she had knocked on his door and entered his bedroom, those were the most words he ever heard out of her at one time.

Putting the plate down on the table, she made him sit on the edge of the bed. She fetched a cloth next to the pitcher of water, wet it, and came to him. She stood between his knees and dabbed gently at his wounds.

"Ye don't have to—" he protested softly. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he found it wrong that he should be cared for. Flinching, he tried to evade the cloth, evade her touch.

"Hush now," she said softly with a slight Irish lilt. She spoke with a quiet authority incongruous to her. She held his chin with her finger and thumb to prevent him from moving and continued to dab at the wound with a compassionate concentration.

Liam, feeling mournful, glanced at her plain, yet angelic face, then looked away wanting to cry. Sadly, her gentle ministrations reminded him of those days in Belfast with Annie and Dolly. At first, he didn't realize that he was giving in to her caring, feminine touch. Once he was aware of it, he began to yield more and more, noticing how her plump breasts lifted up and down as she breathed, covered by her shabby, but clean nightgown; they were unbound—and so close. It was apparent that she had taken a bath quite recently. He breathed in her fragrance of rosewater soap, clean cotton flannel, and raisin cake. Without thinking, his hands went to her hips and he pulled her close, her breasts right there for his mouth and lips to kiss, and— "Oh, God," he heard himself say, feeling his erection intensify with her body in his arms. His need for female affection somehow overrode his ever-present self-loathing.

~~~

Kelly gasped, yielding to him as he laid her on her back. She was not expecting this. But in her desire for him to feel happy she let him do what he wanted. She liked it when he kissed her on her neck and breasts. It made her tremble when he managed to get her nightgown off. With his knees, he spread hers wide enough so he lay between her legs. She began to shiver and hyperventilate.

"Shhh, shhh, I won't hurt ye. Do ye want me to stop?" he whispered.

"No, Liam. Just go slow," she responded. "I want ye to be happy. It's just I've not done this before on my say-so. Go ahead, love."

"Are ye sure?"

"Oh, aye. Very sure."

He still hesitated.

"Now, Liam," she said with soft authority.

~~~

Liam's hardness pressed against the opening of her sex. With his hand, he helped himself enter her. He heard her gasp as he slowly pushed in all the way, then stopped so she could get used to him being inside her. He began a tentative rhythm desperate to feel alive again. The carnal sensations became overwhelming. He heard himself moan. When he focused on his hips and his cock moving in and out of her, nothing short of dying would stop him from reaching the ultimate pleasure. He could feel her breasts against his, her hips moving against his, intensifying his need for the orgasmic release. Holding on to one of her buttocks, he forced her to move harder into him. His hips began to buck as he peaked and spilled himself inside her, the discharge intense. He heard her cry out.

For those few short minutes he felt alive.

"It felt good," she whispered.

She seemed alive, too. He kissed her, and then his tears fell.

She put her hand on his cheek. "Ye mustn't cry, Liam."

He buried his face in her hair and neck as sweet Kelly Ann Sullivan held him fast.

~~~

He awoke in the lamplight, probably an hour or two after Kelly had entered his room. Liam was half on top of her. She was asleep, seemingly content, even though much of his weight was on her. He felt her naked body underneath him, and felt himself rouse to her—again? Yes, he remembered the orgasm. He then recalled crying.

His movements woke her. Her head turned to gaze into his eyes, pale blue blinking twice. Her eyes said _It's all right, if you want me again._ She spread her legs for him.

Liam craved the orgasm again, taking her in single-mindedness, and in a short time he groaned, breathless in those few moments of life-affirming pleasure. He heard her climax once more.

It didn't take him much time for those haunting moments of utter satisfaction and loving connection to turn into abject guilt—and shame—for taking advantage of Kelly's loneliness and her desire for him. It forced him to leave the warmth of the bed. He blindly searched for his strewn clothes from the ice-like floor. His head throbbed. He lost his balance as he bent over, but gained it back before falling over.

"How did it do that?" Kelly said, breathless. "Why did it feel so good? It happened both times."

He didn't answer her. Oddly, he felt some relief, knowing she had experienced the pleasure of orgasm from the encounter. He saw her pull the quilt to her chin and propped on her elbow, she watched him start to dress.

"Where are ye goin' Liam? It's dark and so late." Her voice was so small and innocent. "Stay and do that again to me. I like it."

Liam put his clothes on as swiftly as he could. He didn't want to say the words he needed to say to her. But he had to. His brain was working enough to know that she felt strongly for him since she let him do what he did to her.

"I'm leavin' ... Chicago," he said softly.

"Are ye comin' back?"

He hesitated, feeling a cold rock in his belly. It made him feel sick. "No, Kelly. I won't be comin' back."

He saw the tears well in her eyes and stream down her flushed cheeks. He finished dressing in spite of her reaction. "I'm ... sorry."

As he tied his scuffed and worn boots, the self-punishing hammer continued to wail away inside his mind.

"Will ye kiss me goodbye, so I'll remember ye well?" she said.

He looked up from his boots, seeing her and feeling her pain. She sounded like a girl to him yet in overcoming her fears over the last few months, she gave like a woman. He stood to take the few steps to the bed, where Kelly, forgetting she had nothing on, got out and let Liam take her in his arms. He kissed her tenderly, then whispered in her ear: "Thank ye for yer comfort. Ye're beautiful."

He felt her go weak in the knees, and he led her gently back to the bed. He picked up her nightgown from the cold floor and helped her put it back on.

From the corner of his eye, he could see her watch him pick up the few remaining items on the side table, including the long gold chain with gold charms, the silver wedding ring, and the old pocket watch. He stuffed them all into his trouser pocket. Kelly was crying uncontrollably now. Lastly, Liam slid the small bottle of whiskey into his overcoat pocket. He did not make eye contact again.

"Ye didn't eat yer cake," she said, pleading through her tears.

"I'm sorry, Kelly." He hesitated at the door as if to show respect.

~~~

As the door closed behind Liam, Kelly, the invisible girl once again, was left alone. Devastated that her love had left, she cried in the pillow where Liam's head had lain.

~~~

On the snowy, deserted street, Liam pulled his cap on snuggly and pulled up his coat collar against the cutting wind and blowing snow. He reached for the pint in his coat pocket. As punishment for taking advantage of Kelly Sullivan, he finished off the throat-searing whiskey in four or five big swallows, then threw the empty bottle in the drifted, trash-clogged gutter. He headed for Grand Central Station and a one-way ride to Kansas City, alone with his own tears—and shame.

## Part Two: Unexpected Changes

Chapter 1

Virginia, Minnesota

Three and a half days after they arrived in America at Ellis Island, Eva and Victor settled into a boarding house in one of the North Country towns that skirted the Mesabi Iron Range. The boarding house was on the edge of town near the train station and was occupied by fellow Finns, including a lovely older widow by the name of Saimi Laivo. Much to Victor's relief, there was a _sauna_ for Eva, who took advantage of it immediately.

"I want to go in alone, Victor. You can take Ellen in after me and wash her."

"I don't understand, Eva," Victor said.

"I want to be alone," she said tersely.

Eva slept for days thereafter while Victor took care of Ellen and started to help with the daily chores of fetching wood for the boiler in the basement, cleaning out the horse stall, and whatever else needed to be done. Little Ellen seemed to enjoy receiving attention from Mrs. Laivo and the other boarders who worked at the Mesabi Range Iron Ore mines.

"It's not so unusual for someone who left home and hearth to be very sad like she is," Mrs. Laivo said to Victor in a private moment, "even under the best of circumstances."

"What do I do?"

"She may need some gentle firmness, or she may need you to be her husband, if you understand me."

"What?"

"What do husbands and wives do?"

"I understand," Victor said, feeling the flush of heat in his face. "I'm not usually that thick, Mrs. Laivo. I just didn't expect a woman to suggest that to a man." He smiled. "Will you watch Ellen for a while?"

~~~

Eva, who was still in her nightgown in bed, covered but awake, heard Victor come into the bedroom.

"My love, I have come to be with you," Victor said.

"Why?" she asked.

He took his clothes off and got under the blankets with her. "Because I think you are very lonely. I haven't been a very good husband to you lately, and I want to show you I still can be."

She rolled over to face him and looked deeply into his eyes. "You think I am angry with you. Perhaps you think I don't love you anymore."

He sighed. "It's a very easy thing for me to think since we left—"

"Well, I am angry with you, but I still love you."

"I don't like it that you are angry with me, but I can live with it." He suddenly looked vulnerable. "I don't think I can live if you ever stopped loving me."

She put her hand gently on his cheek.

"Come to me, Victor," she whispered.

~~~

The landlord of the boarding house, a Mr. Salonen, was elderly and ill and was looking for a replacement to run the house. He was smitten with Eva, and decided that she and Victor should run the house. Soon after they arrived, he moved out of the bedroom off the kitchen and into the old folks' home. The Mattsons moved into his old room and assumed the management. Saimi Laivo stayed on as cook. The landlord even went as far as to sign the deed of the property over to Victor, with a symbolic payment of one dollar. He was that happy to be free of it.

Eva was more than willing to busy herself with housework and laundry to dull the intense homesickness of the first few months. At times, she felt she had lost every ounce of happiness, finding nothing to have joy about except for Ellen. Although she had let Victor back in, her sweet young love for him all but frittered away from the time they had left Finland. On the surface, however, she fought to maintain that love. He was her husband, after all. She was his chosen one. She felt it her obligation to stay loyal.

~~~

"I'll teach you how to make American food," Mrs. Laivo, who had insisted Eva call her Saimi, said to Eva one afternoon. They conversed in their native tongue as they were preparing the mid-day dinner on a cold, windy Sunday in February of 1897. "It's not too different. Americans don't use as many beets and rutabagas and turnips as we do."

"Where did you come from, Saimi?" Eva asked her new friend.

"I come from Helsinki. I was not yet married and had a strong wanderlust, so I came to America. I found a cooking job in a mansion in Chicago. That's where I met my husband."

"Where is he now?"

"He passed away about a year ago."

"I am sorry, Saimi. Why didn't you stay in Chicago?"

"My employer wanted me to stay, but I didn't. I needed to go."

"What was Mr. Laivo like?"

"He was tall and handsome. He was the staff manager and butler. I know he hired me because he fell in love with me as soon as he laid eyes on me." Saimi smiled. "He had a hard time keeping quiet about me to the other employees."

"How long were you married?"

"Ten years. His name was Feeliks Laivo. When I met him, he was a bachelor in his mid-thirties. He died of pneumonia at forty-four. Doctor thought maybe it was something more."

"I am sorry," Eva said. "Did you have children?"

"No, I was what the doctors called barren. We were an older couple."

"I'm sorry about that, too."

"I knew I could not ever be happy again if I stayed after Feeliks died. Some people might do all right but I could not. That's how I came up here, to Virginia, to help the old landlord as cook. I saw an advertisement in a Finnish-American newspaper from this region. The job pays my room and board and provides a little spending money. I don't need much. There's a large Finnish community here in town. That's my new family."

"Why are there so many Finns here?" Eva asked. Her growing curiosity was taking her away from her emotional self-exile.

"The timber industry, and now the mines. Finns have a lot of experience with trees, and they like the miner-union aspect of the Mesabi Mines. Many, not all, are socialist in thinking."

Eva felt so homesick. She remembered the pine and birch forests that surrounded the Mattson homestead back in Finland, and the periodic culling of timber for farmland, building material, and fuel. She sighed.

The two of them worked companionably in the warm, aromatic boarding house kitchen, the conversation at a natural pause. Eva watched Saimi, who she gathered to be about fifty years of age, just a few years older than her own mother. Saimi was short and a little plump; she liked to sample her cooking and baking and ate heartily because it was "one of life's pleasures."

"I loved sleeping with my husband, too," Saimi said, whispering another of life's pleasures.

They giggled and Eva blushed as she agreed. The two had grown close very quickly. Their relationship was like that of an auntie and niece. Saimi was definitely the elder, nurturing figure. Although Eva was grown, she missed her mother dreadfully and she clung to Saimi for support and maternal closeness. Saimi seemed to like taking care of people.

Eva was glad she was able to speak in Finnish most of the time. She was self-conscious about beginning to use English and rarely attempted it. That didn't stop her from learning a few choice words from Victor's forays to town, and laughing with him when she let down her melancholy guard.

Eva whispered to Saimi conspiratorially, "I can't stay away from Victor," she said. This brought a hearty chuckle from her friend.

"He's very handsome," Saimi added.

Victor walked into the kitchen from the parlor.

"I am hearing little whispers and giggles," he said, feigning scolding. "I want to know what you are laughing at."

"Only you, my dear," Eva cracked. This brought on more secretive smiling and blushing from both women as they busied themselves with their tasks.

Victor opened his mouth to say something but appeared to change his mind. He stood still for a moment and huffed in mild annoyance. "I know better than to take on two women who are telling secrets. I am giving up," he said in retreat, but not before he gave Eva a surreptitious lusty look.

Eva smiled back, but as soon as he couldn't ser her anymore, her smile vanished because she felt the heartbreaking sting of loss.

~~~

As Victor walked back to the parlor where he'd been playing with cards with Ellen on the floor, he felt some relief at how Eva was starting to enjoy herself in little moments like that. He had been worried for three months about her decline in happiness and worst of all, her independence. They were both working at making their new life here, but it still wasn't going as well as he wanted. _At least I got her out of bed,_ he thought. _And she is making love to me now. She's very attached to Saimi Laivo and she hasn't gone to town alone yet. She rereads the letters from home constantly. She still refuses to speak any meaningful English._

Communication in the new world was vexing between the two of them at times. Victor was going out more often than Eva so he was picking up more English and learning how to use it effectively in everyday matters such as ordering lumber at the mill, ordering dry goods, and making small talk at the tavern up the street. Eva's English usage fell far behind Victor's and she resented him pointing it out.

"Eva," Victor said one spring evening in their bedroom, in English. "You need to pra-tice you Eenliss." From the bed, he could see her roll her eyes as she sat at her dresser, brushing her hair out and making a braid.

Eva responded in Finnish. "I can see that you are doing exceptionally well," she said. She waggled her head indignantly.

"Let's say days of veek. I say first," he said. "Eva, pay attensen!"

"No!" she said in English. "Seeyut up."

"You yust stubborn," Victor said, irritated. "No Eenliss? Den come here, I vant to put dis in you." He was lying in bed, pointing to his erection. He leaned back in a provocative pose, arms above his head, and began to wiggle his lower torso. This made her laugh. She glanced at Ellen in her crib. She was sound asleep.

"You nasty. I like you pee-ness," she said, still in English. She stood from the dresser chair, tossed her comb down, and bounded to the bed. As she jumped, he doubled over to protect himself. She landed half on him, elbowing him in the ribs.

She looked up at him. She was on the verge of hilarity. "Oh, I sordy. I kees et," she said in fake concern, mocking Victor's English. She began to place little kisses all over his chest and belly as she giggled.

"Stop. You are tickling me," he said in Finnish, starting to laugh.

"Vhat you Eenliss?"

" _Vhere_ , not Vhat," Victor was compelled to correct her.

He tried to fight her off, but she held herself in place using her weight to keep her assault position. He could no longer do anything he was laughing so hard. He fell limp, only to have her body thump into him. He instantly changed tactics by wrapping his arms tightly around her body, trapping her. He rolled over so she was lying on top of him.

"Ha! I haff you now," he said in English, laughing.

"I can't move," she said in Finnish, struggling to no avail.

"Say in Eenliss," he demanded. "Den I let go."

"You ass—hole," she said in English, laughing silently so as not to wake Ellen in her trundle.

He giggled. "Oh, you learn all bad vords," he accused. "You are naughty girl."

Suddenly they stopped their combat play and lay still, lips slightly touching. Finished with the foreplay, she opened her legs and straddled him. He entered her easily, pushing in and out in urgent movement.

He still had her arms pinned. She couldn't move away if she wanted to, but her hips moved, matching his urgency.

As they made love, she began to chant softly, between hard breaths, in English. "Munday . . . Toosday . . . Vensday . . . Toorsday . . . Friday . . ." She rolled her R on Friday.

Victor was laughing as he lay back, letting Eva do the moving.

"Sadoorday . . ." She was getting close to her climax. As she grunted and jerked her hips, she barely got out, "Sun—day ..."

He too, climaxed. "You like Sundays?"

She rolled off, murmuring, "Yes, sexy boy," in English.

They both were damp from their exertion in the warm bedroom. Eva barely crawled off him before she fell asleep with tiny sweat beads on her nose and top lip.

Victor stayed awake watching Eva sleep, her soft rhythmic breathing a comfort to him. Her face was soft and angelic, like a child's. He made no mistake, though. She was not a child. She was a grown woman—a woman who excited him beyond words, English or Finnish. He loved the emotional and physical sensation of spilling his seed inside her; it made him feel powerful. Unfortunately, he had gotten that same feeling with other women – from Olga in Finland and now from the new women he had had the occasional tryst with here in Minnesota. He had a strong pang of regret for his infidelity. But that pang brought back a strong sense of guilty pleasure which he also found desirable. He thought of Eva and how wild she'd been in bed tonight, how unabashed in her love for him. He told himself right then to start over with Eva, no more cheating on her. He fell asleep with that promise in mind.

~~~

By the year's end, Eva had come far. She started going to the post office and dry goods store on her own. She planted her first garden in the spacious back yard that spring. She also made some new friends at the Finnish Social Hall and occasionally attended church with Saimi and Ellen on Sundays. Although she remained homesick and her melancholy was present, she tried to make a life here.

Besides Saimi Laivo, Eva made friends with Susanna Nikander. Susanna had a daughter Ellen's age by the name of Katia. They visited each other once a week at the boarding house so the little ones could play together.

"Why are you afraid for us to come to your house, Susanna?" Eva asked in Finnish, shortly into their friendship.

"I don't have a very good husband. He drinks and can be mean."

"Why don't you call the police?"

"He would kill me, so, I let him come and go. He gives me money to support our daughter, but he does not want to be a father or husband."

"I'm sorry, Susanna."

"You're lucky you have a good husband," Susanna said.

That last statement stunned Eva.

~~~

The Finn Hall in Virginia was filled to the brim at every social event, with Finns coming from Hibbing and all around the region. The Hall and the Finnish Lutheran Church co-sponsored cultural events and events for the holidays. Eva's favorites were _juhannus_ in the summer, and Christmas with _Joulupukki_ , Finland's version of Santa Claus. But these events were a double-edged sword. In her joy of celebration, there was also sadness for all she'd lost at the sudden departure from her family. Her daughter Ellen's joy was a bright spot that dulled Eva's loneliness and melancholy. She thought that Ellen could read her when she was sad and she would come to her, sit in her lap, or asked to be held, and with her head on Eva's shoulder, she would curl Eva's hair strands in her chubby little fingers.

"I am glad you are coming out with me once in a while," Victor said one night at the Finn Hall. "Let's dance, Eva," he suggested in English, coaxing her into the middle of the open floor by holding her elbow and forearm. She had no choice. She noticed he had been drinking.

"I am blushing, Victor," she spoke in Finn. "Don't draw attention to us so much."

"Before, when you didn't come with me, I had no one to dance with. Now I do. Look at all those ladies over there watching us. Now, I am happy."

Eva glanced at the group of ladies to whom Victor was referring. The general expression on their faces unnerved her. _I will not be making friends with any of those women,_ she thought _. I don't think they are very friendly. Why did he point them out to me? It must be the alcohol._ She danced with Victor, but it was not very pleasant.

### Chapter 2

For the next two years Eva settled in as well as she could, attempting to make the best of her situation. She and Ellen continued to spend time with Susanna and Katia. Eva learned to cook more American dishes but she could not let her Finnish roots go. She wrote home all the time and treasured her letters from her sisters, her mother, and Mamma Mattson. She craved the news from the old farm. In each letter she received, she secretly hoped she would hear about Eino and that he had gone back home, or that he had met someone and settled down, but that news never came. Although she made an effort to participate in her community, it still was not anywhere near what Victor had accomplished in those first years in America. He went to the Finnish Social Hall all the time to play cards. Everyone in the business district knew who Victor Mattson was. He had many new friends and acquaintances. No matter how hard she tried she could not wake up any morning and not immediately feel the melancholy.

~~~

One morning, just after Eva's birthday in May, Victor came rushing home.

"Eva. I have great news."

"What is it, Victor?"

"I have a yob at Mesabi," he said in English.

"Why? You have a job here at the boarding house."

"But I have been feeling restless. I want to get out into the world. If there were a farm here at the boarding house, I would be happy. But I need to do more. Besides we will have more money. I can start saving. We have been trying for another child, and this money will be a help."

At the mention of their trying to conceive, she looked pained. "Why haven't we been able to have another child?" she said softly.

"I'm not sure why. Maybe we need to see Dr. Andersen."

"I don't want to," she said. "I don't want anyone to know my private business."

"Nonsense," Victor said.

~~~

Despite her deep reservations, Eva went to the hospital with Victor and found herself talking with the surprisingly kind Dr. Andersen who spoke Finnish.

"Eva, are you getting your monthlies with regularity?" he asked. "About every twenty-eight days?"

"Yes," Eva answered, but she felt like throwing up, she was so self-conscious. She could barely look at the doctor.

"Have you had any serious illness since Ellen was born?"

"Just a few colds. Nothing serious."

Dr. Andersen turned to Victor. "Victor, are you functioning normally, arousing when you should?"

"Yes, I have no problem with that."

"Have you had any serious illness since Ellen was born?"

"I had an attack in my testicles when Ellen was not quite two. It was in Finland. She got the mumps at the same time."

"Had you been around someone with mumps before that attack happened?"

"Yes, a little boy at a nearby farm. I remember he was out and about with his neck swollen. My mother had a feeling."

"Had you had mumps as a child?"

"Somehow I missed it."

"Well, then, you had it as an adult. It can attack men's testicles and often leaves them unable to impregnate their wives afterwards."

Eva was stunned at the revelation. She looked at Victor, who seemed shocked as well.

After a few moments, the doctor spoke. "I'm sorry for the bad news."

"It explains everything," Victor murmured as they got up to leave.

"Victor, I want to speak with Eva alone," Dr. Andersen said. "Please wait for her in the hall."

Victor glanced at Eva as he stood, hesitated for a moment, but obliged the doctor and left closing the door.

"Eva, I am concerned for you," the doctor said after Victor closed the door.

Eva looked at him. "Is it that noticeable?"

"You are despondent. You barely engaged with me, let alone Victor."

"I was embarrassed. And I was just told we would have no more children," Eva tried to rationalize. "Of course, I'm a little sad."

"You came in that way. It's not just finding out Victor is most likely sterile."

Eva looked glumly at the floor.

"I want to see you in a month's time, to keep an eye on you."

"Don't tell Victor."

"I will not, if it's your wish."

~~~

Supper that night was silent between Eva and Victor. So was the evening, which they usually spent in the parlor with the rest of the boarders. Instead, Eva, Victor, and five-year-old Ellen had sat in the back bedroom with the door shut, as per Eva's wish.

As they lay awake later that night, Victor said sadly and softly, "I'm sorry, Eva."

"It's not your fault, Victor," she said, but she felt the disappointment rush over her like a giant ocean wave.

That night she refused his gentle advances. He didn't try again for weeks.

~~~

With the discovery of his likely sterility, Victor felt that he failed Eva yet again. First, he betrayed her and had a son with Olga. Second, he made her leave her family when she didn't want to. And third, he was not able to give her any more children. _Slowly but surely Eva will not love me anymore. I cannot stop it. I don't know how to fix it._

~~~

One night, about two months after the fateful doctor visit, Eva put her hand on Victor as they lay in bed.

"I think we should start again..." she whispered. She had become aware that she was punishing him for something that wasn't his fault. She took off her nightgown and climbed on top of him.

"You are my love, Eva," he said, as he seemed to give everything he could in pleasing her while they made love. "Anything you want," he whispered in her ear.

"You are fine, Victor. You've always pleased me."

"I'll come inside you, like you've always loved."

She wanted to make sure she would please him by climaxing. Eino suddenly showed up in her mind, and the last time she saw him and how he made her feel. It brought her to a strong finish. She kissed Victor. "It was good," she whispered in his ear as he caught his breath.

Afterwards, she held him in her arms as he cried into her hair. When she knew he had fallen asleep, she turned away from him and cried herself to sleep.

~~~

"Let's go to the lake and fish tomorrow morning," Victor said, mostly to Ellen. "It's _sauna_ day and I am home, it's a beautiful summer day." Although the invitation was just to Ellen, Eva came along with a picnic of cold pancakes, hard boiled eggs, and buttermilk. It was a quiet family time, pleasant enough.

~~~

Later that week Victor said," There's a dance at the Finn Hall on Friday night. Come with me, Eva."

"All right," she said. "Ellen can go to Little Arvid's house." Arvid's grandfather, Matti Huttunen was Saimi's friend, whose wife had recently passed away. Ellen had met Arvid and his little brother Toivo at Sunday School.

"Good. You and I can go dance, then have the rest of the evening alone," he said with subdued enthusiasm.

And so, their lives went. It was all right. But for Eva, much of the happiness was gone.

### Chapter 3

October 1901

In his job at the Mesabi mine, Victor worked his way up over the first two years into a well-paying, in-mine supervisory position. Eva was grateful for a good paycheck. Victor was able to start that savings account he had touted. She managed the boarding house with the help of her friend, Saimi, with Victor pitching in on the weekends. Eva was not happy with Victor being gone so much but there was nothing she could do to change his mind. He was thriving, even though he seemed to be doing so without the rest of his family.

Eva, unknown to Victor, had been seeing Dr. Andersen on a regular basis ever since that first appointment. She confided her feelings about her marriage to the doctor. She felt better after such confidences, but she still had no idea how to change anything in her life, so her melancholy, while less severe, remained.

~~~

"Victor, have you seen Ellen's note from her teacher? All A's," Eva crowed one evening at supper. The report came home just that day. Ellen was eight and a half and already doing work of children a year or two older. "Her teacher, Miss Lehto, is a great support for her."

"Yes, my _Villi Ruusu_ is quite the student," Victor crowed, animated. He gave his daughter a silver dollar and a hug.

" _Kiitos_ , Pappa. Can I go buy candy tomorrow vit dis?" Ellen was of the habit to switch between Finnish and English with a strong inflection.

"Of course, you can," he said enthusiastically.

Eva was well aware that the reason for Victor's animated state right then was a stop at the tavern on his way home. He had started doing this a while ago, coming home drunk and smelling of tobacco smoke and beer. It was repulsive to her, yet she kept quiet about it.

She had watched his behavior change since he'd gotten the Mesabi job. It began to change even more dramatically after he got the supervisor position. He started to stay out later and later Friday nights at the tavern. At least, that's where Eva assumed he'd been. He began to stumble in around dawn on Saturday mornings.

~~~

It was early Saturday morning, mid-October. The weather had been chilly but had just turned colder in the North Country. Eva was startled awake by a bang on the back porch. She looked at the empty side of the bed. _Victor is not back yet?_ She listened again and heard someone call.

"Eva come help me."

That's Victor's voice, coming from the back porch.

Eva slipped on her robe and walked past Ellen's room off the kitchen. _At least Ellen is not awake because I do not know what I will find when I go out._ She pulled Ellen's door closed.

At the back door, she put on her boots and went outside.

"Victor, what are you doing? Where are your trousers?" she asked in a high-pitched voice. She prayed no one else would see her husband lying flat on his stomach, barely conscious, drunk. Suddenly, he threw up.

"Oh, my God," she hissed. "You are a disgrace. You better hope your daughter never sees you." She wanted to cry.

"Then help me up and into bed, God damn it," Victor slurred.

She did just that.

Victor slept all day. He got up later and acted as if nothing had happened. Nothing was ever said.

~~~

Victor's increasing degeneration wore heavily on Eva, who grew even more homesick and depressed. Sometimes she was barely able to get herself composed enough to take care of Ellen especially on Saturday mornings when Victor would come home in such a mess. Eva felt bad that Ellen seemed to sit in constant vigil of her. The two had developed a close relationship, with Ellen, much of the time, the stronger one. Saimi had stayed silent, yet vigilant, too.

~~~

One afternoon, Ellen headed home from her friend Katia's house. Coming from town, down Main Street, she spotted her father going into the Widow Johnson's gate. The Widow was a woman of whispered rumor and ill repute—Ellen knew what that meant—who lived five houses up from the boarding house. Ellen saw her father look up and down the street before entering. _Pappa did not see me,_ she thought _. Why would he go to see that lady who people talk about? I will follow and see._

A half-minute later, Ellen quietly lifted the wrought iron latch of the widow's front gate and slipped through. She tiptoed onto the porch, treading carefully because of the ice, and peered in the corner of a bay window. She saw her father disappear from the front hallway into a side room. Still curious, she crept off the porch and around to a window on the side of the house. She noticed how unkempt the yard was, with shabby lawn furniture strewn around and under the first thin layers of sleet. She dragged a nearby bench over and placed it under the window. Then she climbed up onto it so she could see. And she saw plenty. Her father was half naked. A woman was on the bed on her hands and knees. Her dress was up to her waist. Her father's penis was stiff and he was moving to put it into the woman's behind.

Shocked, Ellen scrambled to get away. In her panic, she slipped off the bench and landed hard on her knees, cutting them on the rough ice. She cried out, scrambled to her feet, and limped out the gate.

~~~

When Ellen entered the kitchen in hysterics, with Victor not far behind her, Eva was dumbfounded. Blood was dripping from her daughter's knees and palms. Snapping to, she tended to Ellen's cuts at the kitchen table, murmuring softly to comfort her. Victor skulked past holding his boots in his hand coming in from the outdoors and went into their bedroom without saying anything. Eva looked at him as he walked by. He avoided her eyes. Saimi came into the kitchen.

"Saimi," Eva whispered, "can you make Ellen some hot chocolate and get a plate of supper for her?"

"Yes, I can. Are you all right, Eva?" Saimi asked.

Eva didn't answer Saimi's question. But she spoke to Ellen. "I will come back in just a little while."

She went into the bedroom to face Victor, shutting the door. She found him sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Did she say anything?" he asked, looking like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. They both spoke in their native language.

Eva was seething. "Don't you care if Ellen is all right?"

"Damn it, Eva, of course I do," he snapped.

"What are you afraid that she may have said? You had no boots on when you came in. Where were you that you needed to remove your boots to run after Ellen in stocking feet on the ice?"

He sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "Eva, I don't know why I went there. It was only the once, just now. Ellen must've seen me go in and wondered what I was doing."

Eva could do or say nothing. His eyes met hers.

"Are you going to insist I say it?"

"Say what?"

"That I had sex with her. The widow."

Eva began to tremble. She could not move. She could do nothing but stand there looking with her heart crushing in her chest. She began to cry.

"Eva, please don't cry," he said. "From now on I will come home every night. I'll never go to the tavern again. I'll come home to my family. I'll be a good husband from now on. Eva, you are the only one I love. It's always been you that I loved." He fell to his knees and hugged her legs. He began to cry. "I beg you. Don't leave. Don't make me leave. Please. I'm so sorry."

She stood still. She didn't touch him and she didn't say a word. After a few minutes he let go and stood on his own.

Eva turned and walked back to the kitchen. She knew she wouldn't leave, nor make Victor leave. But she knew something in her was irrevocably damaged.

~~~

"Don't you want to make love to me anymore, Eva?" Victor asked. It was two weeks later and they were lying in bed one night.

"I don't know if I can anymore," Eva said. "Something is gone between us, Victor. Perhaps it's lost forever." Her back was to him.

When he tried to comfort her, she pulled away from his touch. He received the brutal message. Once again, as he'd done with Pastor Salmi's death, Victor knew it had been his fault. In this case, he saw that Eva's sweet love for him had died by his own doing. It crushed his soul.

### Chapter 4

The five o'clock evening train was about twenty minutes out of Virginia. There weren't that many on board from Duluth that Saturday in late-November, only a handful of people.

Liam had been riding for hours, his drunk wearing off. He had just fallen to the floor between the two seats. "Oh, Christ, I just pissed me trousers," he yelled. His voice was hoarse with sickness. He had a terrible cough.

The conductor came to him. "Sir, please stop yelling. You're scaring the other passengers."

"I don't give a fuck about any passengers. I want to get off." He felt awful. He started to cough again.

"We'll be in Virginia in about fifteen minutes. Then you can disembark."

"Virginia? I thought I was headin' north?"

"We're in Minnesota, sir."

"Can ye help me get up?"

"No, sir. If you've pissed yourself, I don't want you to wet the seat."

It was cold on the floor. With the alcohol wearing off, his misery was returning. _How long in God's name can I keep on doing this,_ he asked himself. His next thought as he lay helpless, _God, can ye help me?_ It was time.

~~~

Eva sat in her bedroom in the big rocking chair. She had just run out to fire up the _sauna_. It was a little after four in the afternoon. Victor had told her that morning he would be working late and would not be home until seven-thirty or eight. _Instead of drinking, he's taken to working six long days a week._ She could hear Saimi puttering in the kitchen, pots clanking, the oven door opening. It was such a loud creak. It was a "home" sound, and in a way, it comforted her. Victor had been true to his word about coming home every night sober but she wasn't at all sure he was staying away from other women. She could swear she still smelled them on him. _Perhaps the fragrances are coming from the two secretaries at the mine offices,_ she thought. _Or from the ladies serving lunch in the lunch room. He goes to the Finn Hall for coffee and cards on Fridays now with the old men. I don't have the heart to fight for him anymore._ That last thought was a heart-breaker. _I have lost that battle._

She stood up. Her belly was always upset. She heard Ellen's chipper voice as she came through the front door. Ellen had been dropped off by young Arvid and his grandfather after spending the day with them. Eva could hear her talk to Saimi.

"Is Mamma better today?" Ellen asked.

"Why don't you go in to see her?" Saimi suggested.

Ellen opened the bedroom door off the kitchen and came in with a burst of sunshine. She studied her mother's face as she walked toward her. Eva gathered herself and put on the best face she could muster.

"How was your time at Arvid's?" Eva asked in Finnish.

"It was good, Mamma," Ellen answered in English. She only spoke Finnish when Eva asked her to. Ellen was completely immersed in being American as were all her Finnish school mates.

"Don't vordy, I won't forget Finnish," Ellen said. "I love dat, too."

"I know you will not." Eva bent to kiss her daughter's forehead. "I have to help Saimi with supper. Do you have any homework?"

"No, it's Saturday."

"Oh, that's right. Today is _Sauna_ Day and I just fired the _sauna_ an hour ago." Eva tried to pass it off as silly forgetfulness, but she knew it was deep sadness about Victor that consumed her mind.

Eva's days had become the same since that night of discovered infidelity—a kind of drudgery with her going through the motions of mending, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of Ellen, who was not part of the drudgery. Ellen was Eva's lifeline. She also found herself becoming short with Victor when he pushed her to converse with him.

"Eva, the _sauna_ needs checking," Saimi called from the kitchen. "It's nearly five. Everyone will want _sauna_ at six-thirty or seven. It will need more wood."

"I'll go with you, Mamma," Ellen chirped.

They donned their winter coats and hats, and walked out the back door. They traveled carefully as they traversed the short way to the out-building. The ground had stayed icy with the cold wind and air.

"We have to get Pappa to bring some cinders from the boiler to put on the path," Eva said. They walked into the _sauna_ dressing room and closed the door on the cold outdoors.

"It's so nice and warm in here," Ellen said.

"I want to put some wood in the stove. I think it will be ready by six."

When Eva was done, they headed for the house.

Eva's otherwise-distracted mind heard the Five O'clock pull into the station down the road. It was a clear and windy evening and the sound easily traveled the quarter mile from the station.

"I can see my breath, Mamma."

"It's cold. Let's get inside," Eva said. She shivered as she closed the back door behind her and took her coat off.

~~~

It was just about five thirty when a startling rap came on the front door. Eva and Saimi were in the kitchen tending to supper preparation. Eva opened the front door to a cold wind and two train station workers supporting another man between them.

"Good-evening, Mam," said one of the workers. "This is a man in need of shelter right away. He says he has money if ye have a room. He seems sick, too. We can stay to help you get him situated. He's gonna need a bath, bad. If ye have a phone, I can call Doc Andersen for you."

"Vell den, come in," Eva said. "Phone on ... table ... right here."

Saimi came out to the foyer. "Ve can giff him _sauna_ , if you can help us."

"We'd be glad to help, Mam."

"Let's get door see-yut, come in den."

The men helped the ill man into the foyer. He coughed badly.

"He sounds like bad sest," Saimi said.

"Oh, do you mean a bad chest?" One of them picked up the phone and made the call to the doctor.

"Yes. Maybe not get udder people sick. 'Course, it sound verdy bad."

"Eva," Saimi said in Finnish, "get some night clothes. We are going to put this man up for a few days. He needs a _sauna_. These men will help."

Eva spoke in Finnish. "We can put him in Ellen's room for now. I put clean sheets on her bed this morning. Ellen can sleep with Pappa and me. We can get the cot."

"Bring him trough kitsen, ve go outside to _sauna_ ," Saimi instructed the two men.

Eva got the things Saimi had asked for. She went into Victor's drawers for the night-shirt and socks, grabbed his extra boots and coat from the hooks in the kitchen, and then joined Saimi and the two men in the _sauna_ with the much-disheveled, sick man.

~~~

In the dressing room, Liam felt them work to get all his clothes off. By that time he had made up his mind he was going to cooperate and tried to assist. He was aware enough to know they were helping him.

Completely naked he was walked into a hot room and lowered to a wooden bench to sit. He heard water being poured into a bucket and felt it being dumped slowly on his now-warming head and body.

"That feels good," he murmured.

He moaned in pleasure from time to time in response to the warmth of being washed.

First, someone washed his hair. He was aware of a young woman's clothed breasts right in front of his face. His sense of comfort was growing. He became confused for a moment and said "Dolly" out loud. He reached out and placed a shaking hand on the breasts. He heard a woman's voice kindly say, "I am Eva." Warm, wet, soapy hands gently removed his hand from her breasts. The English was heavily inflected. He looked at her. She seemed sad.

An older woman was with the one washing him. The women kept speaking in the language he didn't understand. He felt them picking and searching, first through the hair on his head, and then his beard. Then he felt the fingers search through his pubic hair.

He heard another bucket of water being poured. The younger woman— _What had she said her name was?_ —began to wash his torso, first leaning him forward to wash his back. She washed under his arms, his chest, and belly. Then she started to move towards his genitals. He was more aware now and knew he was about to be washed down there.

Revived to more wakefulness, he opened his eyes fairly wide when he felt the slippery, warm cloth softly clean his genitals. _It feels so good_ , he thought. He and the younger woman made eye contact. He saw a pretty face with piercing blue eyes—and sadness. His penis began to react to the gentle ministrations of cleansing.

"Sorry," he whispered, too exhausted to talk at a normal volume.

"Dat's fine. I am married. I see it before." She smiled faintly; half of her mouth curled up ever so slightly.

He saw the sadness abate for a moment.

The woman washing him said more in the foreign language and in English, the older woman told the men to help him stand. They washed his legs and feet and rinsed them with more warm water.

~~~

With bath complete, the men assisted Liam back to the much cooler room. He felt the stiff, scratchy material as the women dried him. He heard the young woman say something to the older woman, and then he felt his toenails and fingernails being trimmed. His head got tossed around as his hair was dried. He grimaced and groaned, then muttered "My head."

"I'm sordy... you ... have headache," the woman said. "Ve almost done. Night see-irt, boots, coat. Den ve done." She talked to him in soothing tones.

On their way out of the _sauna_ , the older woman suggested a stop at the privy.

At the back door a little girl waited. She looked at him with an eager curiosity. "He's so clean now," she said.

"Dis man ... gonna be ... you room," the younger woman said.

"Yes, you told me, so I got all my things and moved into your room. I got the army cot from the closet and put my extra blanket on it. The man can have my room to get better in."

"Tank you, Ellen," the woman said in English.

"You spoke Eenliss, Mamma!" Ellen grinned. "Why is your face all red?"

"Ve vork so hart in _sauna_."

The woman led him into a small bedroom and helped him get into bed. Feeling scrubbed and warmed, he had been brought into this clean, heavenly place with homey aromas and warmth—sensations he hadn't experienced since he had been in the boarding house in Chicago. When the covers came around him, he felt so relieved he began to cry. The young woman sat on the edge of the bed and lifted him into her arms, held him as he wept.

"You are all right," she murmured in his ear. "Ve take care you."

She was a great comfort. He felt the sincerity in her arms as she hummed gentle words and rubbed his back. He did not fight it. His cough erupted. She rocked him and stroked his head and neck until it abated. Finally, he lay back down on the pillows. The woman took her handkerchief out of her apron pocket and wiped his face.

"I give it to you. You blow you nose."

He gazed at her. He saw her do the same to him.

The older woman came in from the kitchen with a glass filled with a dark reddish liquid. He looked at her as she walked in.

"I can't ... thank ye ... enough," he said weakly to both women.

The older woman handed the glass to the younger woman who lifted the glass to his lips. He drank thirstily. It tasted like berries of different kinds. It was a heavenly elixir.

When it was gone, he looked at the younger woman. "May I have more, Mrs.—"

"Mattson," Eva said, getting up. "Yes. I go get."

She returned with the juice. He drank that down as quickly as the first.

"In lil bit, I bring you _keitto_ , I mean soup," she said. "But now, I ... clean _sauna_. I look ... all you pocket for tinks ... I brink you, I burn rest. I can't fix no more." She spoke haltingly.

"Thank you, Mrs. Mattson."

"You call me Eva."

She pronounced it _AY-vah_. He was close to sleeping but he nodded. He lifted a hand to touch her in gratitude but it dropped back down like dead weight. He drifted off quickly.

~~~

Eva stood for a moment at the threshold of the bedroom door studying the man. Now that he was cleaned up, she realized he was quite handsome. _My God, where has he been? What has he been doing?_ she pondered with the fight wounds on his face. She turned to the train station workmen in the kitchen, whom Saimi had insisted have a bite to eat.

"He had two bags with him," one of the attendants said to Saimi as he finished his bowl of soup. "They're in the front hall."

Saimi and Eva walked the station attendants to the door.

"Thanks for the meal, Mrs. Laivo. I called the doc, and he said he would be here first thing tomorrow morning. He said to call if your boarder seemed worse."

"Tank you verdy mutts," Eva said. She let the men out and closed the front door, securing it from the blowing wind.

~~~

Back inside the _sauna_ , Eva cleaned up and put the wet towels in the laundry basket. She gingerly went through the man's pockets. In one trouser pocket, she found a large amount of money that shocked her, a man's silver wedding ring, and a woman's gold chain with several charms on it: a gold heart, a Christian cross, and a tiny Statue of Liberty. In the other trouser pocket, she found an old pocket watch. Eva sat for a moment, feeling alive with curiosity as she studied the stranger's effects. Perhaps she could pick up a clue to his identity. She went through every pocket once again to make sure she hadn't missed anything. Finding nothing more, she put the found items in her coat pocket and looked at the heap of filthy clothes on the dressing room floor. She bent to pick them up, trying her best to keep from touching them more than she had to. She wrinkled her nose in disgust from the stench of urine. She opened the _sauna_ stove and put each piece in one by one, watching them turn to ashes in the flames. She added two more pieces of firewood for the boarders who were waiting for their _sauna_.

~~~

That night when Liam woke up, the clock in the bedroom read eight. The woman named Eva was sitting next to the bed in a wooden rocker. A bedside electric lamp was illuminating her lap while she mended. He heard a child's voice in the background. He also heard a man's voice speaking the foreign language he'd heard the women use earlier. He closed his eyes and lay still. He smelled Vicks rub. He stirred some more and coughed, opening his eyes to see Eva looking at him. Her eyes were piercing blue and mesmerizing.

"I brink you tinks ... from pocket, dey on table. All money dere." She pointed.

"Thank you."

"I put Vicks. You koff ... it stop ...vit Vicks."

She leaned forward and put the back of her hand on his forehead. He could tell by her expression that he did not have a significant fever. He noticed the feel of her hand on his forehead. It touched him deep inside.

Eva put her mending in the basket on the floor, then got up and went into the kitchen.

He heard her speak quietly with the male voice. They didn't speak English. To him, the man in the kitchen seemed irritated. Suddenly the voice showed up in the doorway of the bedroom, with the little girl next to him.

"So, you are the man my vife is 'tendink to. Vhat is you name?"

"I'm Liam Dady," he spoke hoarsely.

"I am Victor Mattson. My vife says you vill pay for room," Victor said. He stood stiffly in the doorway.

Liam heard Eva snap angrily, yet quietly at Victor in their language.

Eva, holding a small bowl, pushed past Victor and said something else in their language in the same tenor.

"Yes, I will pay, Mr. Mattson," Liam said.

"Have a good rest, Mr. Dady." He then switched to Finnish. He and Eva had another exchange. Both seemed to still be in conflict.

Liam watched as Eva gave Victor an angry glare. Victor turned and headed out of the room with the wee girl.

"I don't want to cause trouble for you, Mrs. Mattson," Liam said. "I'm sure I've angered your husband by being here."

"I sordy for him. He yust—I don't know vhy hees—"

"Don't worry, once I'm well, I don't have to stay."

"Don't vordy 'bout it. You stay lonk ... you vant." By now, Eva was down to a whisper. "Can you sit up?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed she put a clean linen towel on his chest and began to spoon-feed him broth. He tried holding the spoon himself but the tremor in his hand was too great. He knew very well what the tremor was from. With her feeding him he finished the meat soup with potatoes and carrots quickly. Eva put the spoon in the empty bowl.

"You vant more _mehu_?" she asked.

"The juice? Oh, aye ... I mean yes."

She stood, taking the empty soup bowl and spoon back into the kitchen.

The child's voice came to his attention again. The caregiver in him responded to it in a gentle way. Eva came back into the room with a larger glass of the sweet juice. It was refreshing to him and reminded him of strawberries. He looked past the swaying skirt entering the room and saw the girl peering in from the doorway. Her eyes were big and blue and were plastered on him. He mustered a little smile and she retreated further into the kitchen, but not before she returned his smile with her own shy one.

"Sees my lil girl." Eva sat on the edge of the bed again and helped him drink the juice.

"You called her Ellen."

"Vhat you name? I hear before but I can't remember."

"Liam ... Dady. Liam Dady." He was trying to swallow.

"Vat name ... is dat?"

He didn't understand the question.

Eva seemed to realize this. She tried again. "Vhere you from? I from Finland."

"I'm from Ireland. Belfast."

Liam noticed she stopped short in the questioning.

"I have ... piss pot," she said. "You need it?"

"Yes, please," he said, smiling inside at the word she used. He sat up. He felt weak and a little lightheaded. She grasped his shoulder as he peed in the pot. "Thank you," he said. He lay back down, noticing Eva getting embarrassed by his exposed genitals, which in turn, roused him. He was grateful for the blankets.

"I get some tinks for Ellen. Sees sleep vit me." Eva went to Ellen's drawers and took some clothing, then grabbed another blanket and a felt bear. She turned off the bedroom lamp. "I go to bed ... over dere. You call ... you need tinks. I vake for you... dats fine. You sick."

"Thank you..." He hesitated, then said, "...Eva."

She gave him a brief and penetrating glance before walking out the door leaving it wide open to the warm kitchen where there was a small night light on a shelf. _It's probably for the wee girl_ , he thought.

Liam lay awake for a few minutes thinking about what the last few hours had been about. _The husband doesn't like me, surely. What's going on between those two?_ he asked himself. _It's not very happy between them. Maybe they're just having a bad night. I will probably end up leaving when I get well. One good thing is that the Vicks is helping, but I still feel like shite. The alcohol is wearing off. I feel the DT's comin' on._ He thought about how Eva looked at him while she was feeding him the soup. _She looked like a war refugee_. _She's angry and sad._ Then he fell sound asleep.

~~~

Victor, while on his way to bed from the parlor later that night, stopped in the night-quiet kitchen and tiptoed to the bedroom door where the stranger slept. He gazed for a while at the man he didn't much like. _Eva is paying too much attention to him. I'll have to keep my eye on him and insist he go when he is better. I see how Eva is reacting to him._ He remembered his reaction to Vilho Hautala when Olga went to him. It was like that now—stone cold jealousy for this invader of his realm. Victor went to his room where he knew Eva would ignore him. That reality made his stomach churn.

~~~

Eva lay facing away at the edge of the bed. She did not want Victor to touch her. She pretended to be asleep. She felt him get in and roll to his side towards her. She could tell he wanted her but she would not acquiesce. After a few minutes she could hear his breath deepen. He was asleep. She took a deep breath, let it out, and saw the stranger's face in her mind. Her eyes were wide open in the dark.

~~~

The next day, Liam was awakened by a portly white-haired man. He was clean-shaven and wore round wire-rimmed glasses. He smelled like a hospital, so he must've been the doctor. Even though it was Sunday, he was here. Liam wondered if that was because it was an urgent case.

"Good mornink," the doctor said. "I am Dr. Andersen. The ladies say your name is Liam."

Liam said a lethargic "Hello." The doctor smelled like a hospital. "Yes, I'm Liam Dady."

"Let's give you a look, Liam," the doctor said. He took his stethoscope from his bag.

Dr. Andersen didn't talk much as he efficiently examined Liam. After a time, he asked: "Where have you been, young man? The ladies said you were quite a mess when you arrived." He was kind but also business-like in his bedside manner.

Liam answered, "It's a long story. But I'm grateful I'm here."

The doctor palpated Liam's abdomen once again. "You've been drinking quite a bit. For how long?"

"Four years."

"You must stop now. Your liver feels a bit enlarged to me."

"I ... think it's time." Liam felt the urge to let tears flow again. He was unable to hold them back.

"I know these women very well and they've told me that even though Eva's husband does not like it, they are willing to keep you on for a while. Do I have any reason to think they would be harmed in any way?"

"God in Heaven, no, Doctor. They've probably saved my life." Liam was still unable to hold the tears.

"Hold your hands out for me," the doctor said.

Liam did so and showed obvious alcohol withdrawal tremors.

"You're going to go through withdrawal. It'll be a little rough for a few days. But it will be worth it. I've gone through it myself."

"I'm aware of the probabilities," Liam said with resignation.

"You also have a severe case of bronchitis. That will pass, too. So will your exhaustion and the bruises from fighting. You were a pugilist?"

Liam smiled faintly at the astute physician. "I'm not proud of it."

Dr. Andersen cleared this throat. He spoke quietly. "One thing to know is that Victor Mattson has been rumored to have a drinking problem himself. He's teetering all the time. Eva is not happy. I don't know how long their marriage will last. Try not to get in between them."

"Why would you think I would?"

"Eva is very animated with you here. She's had melancholy to varying degrees ever since they arrived from the Old Country. Now I see a bit of life in her." Dr. Andersen abruptly stood up. "All right then, I'll see you in a couple of days. You're in good hands. Sleep is the order and drink water and juices. I'll tell the ladies, but not anything they don't already know." Dr. Andersen winked at Liam, patted his hand and stood to leave. "Don't worry," he said, nodding at Liam's tears. "It gets better. Soon you will be over the withdrawal."

Liam let out a sob and nodded his head in the affirmative. The doctor left the room. He heard murmurings in the front hall for several minutes. After a while of straining to listen to what they were saying, he dozed off briefly. Upon waking he realized that he needed to use the chamber pot. As he sat on the edge of the bed using it, Eva came in. His genitals were in full view. She stopped dead in her tracks, her face burst crimson. Liam just looked at her and said, "Sorry."

He lay back, too tired to pull his night-shirt down or cover himself. Eva gently took care of it, and got him back under the covers.

"You like ekks dis mornink?" she asked.

"I'll try some eggs. I'm still not very hungry. The juice would be good, if you please." He suddenly realized how much he was being waited on. "I hope I'm not being a trouble to ye, yer husband especially."

"I am fine. Don't vordy. Doctor says you stronk ... and younk. You get better. Don't vordy ...'bout my husband." She walked into the kitchen taking the chamber pot with her. Liam watched through the open door as she set the pot down at the back door, presumably to dump later and washed her hands at the kitchen sink. He heard her moving around, and soon she came in with a small plate of scrambled eggs and another glass of _mehu_.

When she returned to the bedroom, she sat at the edge of the bed. He pushed himself up to sitting. He tried to hold the fork and plate but he was shaking so Eva had to take them back.

"Everytink all right. You get bedder."

"I feel helpless. I'm usually the one who's supposed to help others." Liam's voice trailed off as Eva started to feed him.

He managed a few small bites of egg and drank the large glass of the _mehu_. When he finished, Eva held the empty glass and half-empty dish. She hesitated. He noticed. He also realized she was looking in the direction of his pocket items. He looked at them, too, and then looked back at her.

"I was married. My wife ... died." He put his head back on the pillows but kept his eyes on Eva.

"I am ... sordy." Eva did not say anything else. She walked quickly into the kitchen.

Liam noticed that the news of his wife seemed to stun her. She looked like she was about to cry when she left.

Just then, the little girl came bounding into the kitchen from the other bedroom. _Ellen is her name. She looks like her father. She seems to be very intelligent, too, and a bit precocious._ He smiled at that.

"Mamma, Pappa said he would take me to the Finn Hall today. There's some kind of dinner there. He wanted to go." The girl spoke in English.

"I tink you go," Eva said. "You don't vant ... Sunday School vit Saimi?

"No. Pappa wanted to sleep. Then we would go at noon."

Eva gave the girl a plate of eggs and bacon. She took it to the table to eat.

The older woman, Saimi, came to the kitchen. She and Eva spoke in Finnish as Saimi poured herself a cup of coffee and had breakfast.

~~~

A short while later, Saimi knocked at the door way and came into the room where Liam was convalescing.

"You look liddle bedder." She smiled as she stood next to the bed, hand on his head, checking his temperature. "Eva says you vife died. I am sordy. How lonk ago?"

"Four years." Liam turned his head away.

"I am sordy, Mr. Dady. It hurts to say tinks 'bout it."

"It's that I don't talk much about it. I know you and Eva—Mrs. Mattson mean well."

"Maybe dats vhy you puniss youself vit drink and fight." Saimi put the back of her hand on his forehead again, then patted his arm.

"Ye may be right," Liam said honestly.

"Maybe you haff more vork to do 'bout it," Saimi said.

"Oh, aye ..."

Saimi left the room with a kind smile and pulled the door half way closed. Then she put on her coat and left.

Liam rolled to his side with his back to the kitchen, curled up, and cried.

~~~

After sleeping for a while, Liam woke to Victor and Eva having words in their bedroom. He had no idea what it was about because they were speaking in Finnish again. He felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave but he was still too sick. He could feel the DTs coming on even stronger. He was hoping he would have an easy time with it. Some people did, and some didn't. He saw a movement in the kitchen and turned his head to look. _It's the little girl listening at her parent's door. She's worried about them. She has to be. Look at the anxiety on her face._ Suddenly, as if by telepathy, Ellen looked to him and discovered he was looking at her. She gave him an ugly, accusatory stare and walked away, only to show back up at his door.

"You are big trouble for my Mamma and Pappa," Ellen announced in English, rolling the R in "trouble."

### Chapter 5

Five days later, Eva walked Liam up and down the front hall as Saimi changed the linens and blankets on the bed. His alcohol withdrawal had tapered off.

"I hope I wasn't too bad," he said.

"You cry 'bout Dolly. You keep fall out da bed. Ve tie you hands down."

"I'm sorry, Eva."

"You not happy."

The worst of it lasted roughly thirty-six hours. He vaguely remembered that Dr. Andersen had come to check him in the middle of it.

Now, Liam noticed that his muscles were weak, as Eva had to support him. And he'd lost weight. The sun was out and he looked out of the foyer windows at the blue sky. The sun gave him a better feeling. Eva was a comfort to him. Liam looked at her. She noticed and looked back. It was definite attraction but he knew it was wrong. He stopped acknowledging it and averted his eyes. He was feeling fatigued by the time Saimi was done with the bed change.

Suddenly Eva asked, "You vant to use privy outside? You not have ... seeit. You yust have piss. I don't know vat else to call ... seeit."

Liam looked at her for a moment, puzzled. "Do ye mean shit?"

Eva looked embarrassed. "Yes, I can't say dat vord." Her face colored.

He smiled. "Don't worry. You say words in yer home language that I'd never get my tongue to do."

Eva gave him a shy smile.

She's so beautiful ... still so sad ...

She helped him put on a coat and boots and they both stepped out into the sun. He took a deep breath of fresh air. It was a weak sun, but sun nonetheless. He stepped into the privy and closed the door. He did, in fact, need to use it. Several minutes later, he opened the door to see a wind-blown and freezing Eva waiting for him. Her ears and nose were red from the freezing wind.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

"I don't vant ... you get hurt. The pat is ice. You fall."

"We'll hold each other up, then," he said. "Are ye ready?" He held out his arm.

She took it with barely perceptible enthusiasm.

~~~

When Eva got Liam back to bed, he was exhausted but feeling better than he had in a long time.

"I don't know how I did what I did for the last four years. I just discovered I must've felt like shite. The drink kept me from feelin' it."

The long explanation in his heavily inflected Northern Irish brogue left a puzzled look on Eva's face. He smiled at her. When he did so, something occurred to him. They were getting along very well, too well.

"I don't know ... vhat you say," Eva said smiling, almost laughing.

His face must've showed his anxiety because she lost her smile.

"I'm goin' to leave in a few days, Eva. It's wrong for me to stay. Ye're married. Yer husband doesn't want me here."

Tears welled in her eyes.

"Ye don't even know me," he added, speaking softly.

She stood looking wounded, then went to the kitchen.

Christ, she wants me to stay. Christ, I want to stay. This is not good. What have I been doin'? I've got to stop. It's so easy to feel... somethin'. What the hell is goin' on between her and her husband that she's so upset I'm leavin'? And the wee girl was so troubled about me bein' here. No doubt. It's time to leave.

After cooking that morning, Eva came to Liam at dinner time. He was resting in bed.

"You like to eat ... vit me on a table? Nobody's home now. Victor maybe seven."

Liam hesitated but acquiesced to her invitation. More than likely he would leave the next day.

Even though Liam and Eva were at the same table for mid-day meal they shared no words, except at the end.

"I know ... you vant to go," Eva said. "Yes, my husband hate you. Ellen is not happy."

At that moment, Victor suddenly came in the front door. Surprised, he and Eva nervously stood and watched Victor walk into the kitchen.

Holding his head and looking anxious, Victor said something in Finnish to Eva. "And you, Irishman," he blurted in English, "pay up and go. I tink you are after my vife. If I vas not sick, I vould fight you."

Eva hissed something back to Victor with anger in her voice.

"I'll leave tomorrow," Liam said. "And don't worry, I'll pay. I said I would." Liam remained calm and cooperative.

"Good!" Victor retreated into his bedroom and slammed the door.

Still standing where they were when Victor cut through the kitchen, he and Eva stared at each other stunned at the open accusation. Eva began to well up.

"I so sordy," she whispered.

"So am I, Eva. Perhaps I'll leave now. This is hurting you. I don't want that for you. Thank you so much for everything. You and Saimi helped me a great deal."

"Vhere you go?" Eva inquired with great concern.

"I was supposed to go see Dr. Andersen tomorrow one last time. Perhaps I can call. If he can see me this afternoon, I'll ask there if there are any more boarding houses or rooms to let."

"I vordy 'bout you ... still sick. Call on a phone."

Liam gathered what effects he had, gave Eva the money he owed and after calling the doctor's office, he was able to get an appointment at three that day. Eva walked him to the front door and followed him to the top step of the front porch. She huddled in the cold wind.

"Don't stay out here, it's cold," Liam said. He didn't want Eva to get any impression of his feelings for her.

"I come from verdy cold place. Dis not cold."

He mustered a slight smile, and gave her a long gaze. "I hope things iron out with yer husband."

She looked into his eyes. Her own eyes were very serious, very blue. "I ..." She tried, but she dropped her gaze to the stairs, almost in shame.

"Don't worry about explainin' to me. I Thank ye again." Liam stopped her because he knew something was painful about her life.

He stepped off the top stair, and headed out the open gate, taking a left into town. He walked fifty feet or so. He was compelled to turn around to look. She was still standing, arms folded, watching him. He watched as she brushed her cheek with her fingers. She was wiping away her tears.

~~~

Eva went back inside and started to clean up after the mid-day meal. Her heart was confused with her attraction to the Irishman and her obligation to her husband. At one point in her life, Victor had meant everything to her. She had loved him deeply. But it felt like she didn't anymore. _What do I do now? I am so lost._ She put the dishes in the sink to wash later and put the leftovers in the ice box. _I should go in to see Victor. He seemed sick when he came home. I'll get the aspirin powder and some water._

Eva walked quietly into the bedroom with the headache remedy. Victor was lying on his back, head to the side. One hand was covering his eyes. He looked at her.

"Why are you torturing me with this man, Eva? I said I was sorry for my transgression, and I said I would never do it again."

"I came to give you medicine for your head," she announced quietly, devoid of emotion.

"Why, Eva? Why?" Victor pleaded in a whine.

"Stop this, Victor." She had lost her patience. "The Irishman left. He will not be back."

~~~

Liam headed toward the hospital. On his way to his appointment, he noticed a soda fountain called Murphy's.

After his appointment, he stopped by there, and Edward Murphy, a compatriot of Ireland, rented him a room in his apartment above the fountain.

"I'm a widower. Me daughter's married, and the room is available," Ed told him.

"That's grand. I was lookin' for a place to stay for a while."

### Chapter 6

Eva and Victor's marriage was beyond repair. Eva didn't know what to do and it didn't seem like Victor did either. It was scandalous to be divorced so they stayed estranged in the same house. They shared a bed but no love. Eva cried during the day when Ellen was at school and Victor was at work. They managed a bare-bones effort for Ellen. Eva knew that Ellen had known something was terribly wrong when she saw her father with the widow. Eva chalked it up to a child's unconditional love that Ellen forgave him. Ellen and her father both carried on as if the encounter never occurred, giving Eva relief that Victor still had his beloved _Villi Ruusu_. Eva could see Victor starting to give up on any happiness. She knew he punished himself for the mistakes he had made, starting with leaving Finland and bringing her here where she missed her family and homeland. _Perhaps that's why he still sees other women,_ she thought _._ She had known it all along, but hadn't wanted to admit it. However, she saw it clearly now. _It just doesn't matter anymore._

~~~

For three weeks after Liam left, Eva and Victor carried on in the Mattson Boarding House both as miserable as ever. One morning, as Eva and Saimi prepared the household breakfast, Eva was distracted by having to tend to a fussy eight-year-old.

"Mamma, my nose is stuffy, and I have a headache," Ellen whined.

Eva turned to Ellen and put her hand on her daughter's head to see if she had a fever. Victor came from the bedroom looking horrifically pale. It was very alarming.

"Victor, what is the matter with you?" Eva asked.

"I have a headache again. But if I just give it a minute or two, it will go away and I can go to work."

"I can give you aspirin," Eva suggested. She still had a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Oh, Yesus Christ, Eva. It really hurts!"

Eva became increasingly alarmed. "Victor, what is it?"

Victor screamed in agony, grabbed his head, and ran out the front door to the front walk. She followed with a dread she never knew. Once there, he threw up and collapsed in the snow.

"Victor! What is the matter?" Eva ran to him in her slipper socks and no coat. She dropped to her knees. "Get up, Victor. I'll take you to the hospital." She tried to lift him up, but his warm body was deathly limp. "No, no! Come back, Victor. Don't go. I'm sorry. So sorry. I was angry. I won't be anymore. I promise." She wailed and fell prostrate on his body.

She felt Little Ellen suddenly next to her wailing and trying to help her mother revive her father.

~~~

One evening, three weeks after he left the boarding house, Liam sat reading the local newspaper. His eye caught Victor Mattson's name in the obituaries of all places ... died suddenly ... survived by his wife of nine years, Eva Maki Mattson, and his daughter, Ellen Franciina Mattson, a mother and father ... funeral services will be held ...

"Holy God," Liam whispered. "Eva ..." His heart broke for her. He couldn't stop thinking about her and cried himself to sleep that night.

~~~

The next thing she knew Eva was at the Finnish Lutheran Church in Virginia, Minnesota. Ellen clung to her side. Victor lay in an open casket in his best suit. People came to her. Ellen gazed up at her.

"Mamma," Ellen mourned. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"We are so sorry, Eva. So sudden, it was. How are you doing?"

It was as though someone had told everybody to say the same thing to her. She couldn't focus. Someone would come close, then move away, then someone new would come. She just sat in her chair at the table in the fellowship hall.

~~~

Liam attended the church service but he remained in the back and left before Eva or Saimi could see him. _She looked awful, definitely in shock._ He caught a cab back to Murphy's. All the events he had tried to forget about Dolly's death came flooding back. He desperately wanted a drink but he fought it off. He didn't want that life anymore. He actually liked being sober again. It was hard for him, though, especially when Ed Murphy poured himself a couple of shots each night.

"Liam don't ye want a shot o' Jamesons?'

"I was a hard drinker for too long. Doc told me to stop."

"Ye know, how ye told me all about Annie MacDonald back in Belfast?"

"Aye, what of it?"

"Don't ye think ye should write her? Ye seem to miss her. Somethin' else is botherin' ye as well."

"Before I came here and ye rented me a room, Ed, I was stayin' at the Mattson's boardin' house. The wife and the cook got me through the DT's and a bad case of bronchitis. Eva—the wife and I were gettin' a little too close. I meant nothin' by it, but her husband gave her grief about me. So as soon as I could, I left. Now her husband has died suddenly. It brought back memories of the loss of my wife."

"Ye went to the funeral? Did she see ye?"

"No. She was in a bad way. It would've complicated things. She needs to grieve."

That night Liam finally wrote to his Annie.

~~~

Eva knew she wasn't doing well. It had been a little more than a week since Victor's funeral. She could barely function and she didn't care. It was too painful in her heart to move and believe she could go on with life. She heard Dr. Andersen talk to Saimi.

"Saimi, she's bad. She's very despondent. She needs to eat and take care of her daughter."

"Sees vake up for Ellen, and dey talk, but vhen Ellen vent back to school, Eva vent back to bed. Sees eat and drink, but not enough."

"Can ye try some more things to eat? Some of her favorites."

"I vill try, Dr. Andersen. I can get Ellen to help me. Sees sad, too, but not as bad as her Mamma."

"I'll be back tomorrow, first thing. You call me any time if she gets worse."

~~~

Later that day, Dr. Andersen ran into Liam on the street in front of Murphy's.

"I've been vondering vhere you've been, Liam. Can you join me for some coffee inside?"

After Dr. Andersen explained the dire condition Eva was in, Liam answered. "Let me sleep on it," he said. "I want to help her but I don't want to make things worse. That's what happened when I was there. I'm still a grieving widower, and a dried-out alcoholic myself. How can I be of any help?"

"I think it's fair to add those conditions to the equation. Something tells me you're going to be fine in the long run. I can sense it in your demeanor now that you're sober. Eva's friend, Saimi, can't watch Eva around the clock, and I am serious about possible suicide. I am at the end of a short list of ways to treat a severely grieving widow. It's our last option before hospitalization. I saw Eva come alive a bit when you showed up. She had been depressed about her husband's sterility, then his extramarital affair."

_Affair? No wonder she was angry,_ Liam thought. "I'll go right away," he said. "Ye want me there 'round the clock?"

"For the short term, if you're still just recuperating and not working. I'll keep a medical eye on both of you. How's that?"

Liam packed his things and told Ed what he was doing.

"Mrs. Mattson, ye say? I've seen her around with her husband and daughter. They would come in once in a while for a soda. She's beautiful, Liam."

"Aye, she is that, but she's hurtin' right now. Perhaps I can be of assistance. Doc Andersen thought she had warmed to me while I was there in spite of her difficulties."

"Good luck," Ed said. "Stay in touch my friend."

"I will. I'm just a mile down the road. I consider you a friend as well."

~~~

Liam walked the half-mile down Main Street to the Mattson Boarding House. He still felt weak and out of shape.

He stopped momentarily at the front gate and gazed at the house. He took a deep breath then opened the gate. He wondered if going in was going to do harm, or good.

Saimi answered the door. "Liam, I am SUE-prize to see you. Vhat you do here?"

"I heard what happened. Doc Andersen asked me to come to help out, since he thought Eva seemed better when she took care of me.

"He tell you 'bout Eva and Victor's troubles?"

"Not everything. He's very concerned about her emotional health."

"I'm ready to try anytink, now. Come in."

Liam put his bags down and sat at the kitchen table with Saimi.

"Sees verdy bad," Saimi said in a whisper. "Sees stay in bed. Only sits up for Ellen. I take almost full care of Ellen. Eva doesn't eat mutts. Ve haff no Christmas."

"I can start right away. I think she could use a _sauna_. Can you get it hot?"

"Yes, I can. Can you get somptink for her to eat? Dere is some _liha mojaka_ —beef soup, on a stove. Yust like you eat."

"Is there that juice available?"

"In a icebox."

"Let's get to work then," Liam said with purpose.

~~~

Liam cracked open the bedroom door. He found Eva in the dark, asleep. It was nearly three in the afternoon. He came in with a bowl of soup, the meat and vegetables chopped up into small bites floating in the savory beef broth. _With lots of iron,_ he thought. He also carried a glass of _mehu_ , which he liked to call the magic elixir. He set them down on the bedside table. He opened the drawn curtains to let the daylight in and then he pulled the rocker next to the bed nearest Eva. Before he sat down, though, he changed his mind and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Eva," he called. "Eva." He was a little louder. She stirred. "Eva, ye must get up."

Her eyes opened. She blinked multiple times.

"Eva, ye're gettin' up now, and havin' a bite to eat." Liam was authoritarian, but gentle and kind in his demeanor.

Eva gazed at him, bleary-eyed and unfocused.

"Come on, that's a good girl. Let's sit ye up. I have some soup, this MOYa-ka, like ye call it."

He gently pulled her up into a sitting position and propped the pillows behind her. She had lost weight. It was concerning.

"Ye need to get up, so ye can take care of Ellen," he said. "She misses ye. We'll eat somethin', then go to _sauna_ to give ye a bath."

He could see her beginning to focus on him and her surroundings.

"Vhat you do here?" she said weakly.

"Ye helped me. I came back to help you. I know what happened to Victor. I'm sorry, Eva. Doctor Andersen asked me to come help."

"I don' vanna liff," she said morosely.

"What about Ellen?" Liam spoke with a touch more sternness to make a point. What she said put real concern into the situation. He definitely would have to stay now. _Andersen was right._

"I kill sees fadder," Eva said with sullen emphasis.

"No. Ye didn't. He got sick ... on his own." This time, Liam was much sterner. "Did ye hear me? He got sick on his own." Liam filled the spoon with broth and put it to Eva's lips. He softened somewhat again. "Drink it, Eva."

She sipped it, gazing briefly into his eyes. She seemed more focused.

"Good girl," he said with more kindness. He smiled softly as he filled the spoon again.

Liam gave her several spoonsful with small chunks of meat, potato, and carrot. He noticed the more she ate, the more she wanted. She glanced at him now and again, concentrating mostly on the spoonsful of sustenance coming her way.

"I knew ye were hungry," he said, soft and gentle.

"Mamma!" Ellen came into the room. "You are eating! I knew you vould."

"Hello, Ellen," Liam greeted her.

"Vhat are you doink here? I tought you vent avay."

"I was still in town. Then I heard what happened to your Pappa. I'm sorry."

"I miss him," Ellen said with the sweetest stiff upper lip.

"And then," Liam continued, "Dr. Andersen asked me if I would come to help."

Liam left the explanation simple. Ellen's stand-offish demeanor implied that she was not happy to have him back. He knew she understood there was conflict between her parents when he was there before, so he was not surprised she would be ambivalent about him being there again. He would let it go since Eva was in severe trouble.

"How would you like to help your Mamma with some juice?" he said. "You call it MEH-hoo?"

"Yes, I can do it." Ellen answered with serious confidence. She squeezed in between Liam and Eva and took the glass.

"I can drink, Ellen," Eva said in English. She smiled faintly at Ellen and took the glass. The mother and daughter looked into each other's eyes. Ellen smiled at her.

_Eva definitely puts an extra effort in for her daughter. That's a good sign. Ellen will be effective._ It would be a balancing act though, not to put too much pressure on the child.

When most of the juice was gone, Saimi came back from firing the _sauna_. She stuck her head in the room. "It's not steaming hot but warm enough in 'bout haff an hour. Eva, you are eatink. Dats good."

"Mamma, do you vant some bread and butter? I can get it."

"I like lil bread."

Ellen flew to the kitchen. Eva and Liam could hear Ellen's exuberance with clanking silverware and plates and asking Saimi to cut a piece of bread for her. Liam watched Eva closely as a doctor would his patient. While Ellen was on her mission, Liam could see a bit of a spark in Eva's eyes. She suddenly gazed at him. He could see she had some ambivalence about him being there. Well, he had it, too. The ambivalence would have to lie in the background for the time being.

"Dr. Andersen asked me to come back. I was glad to come for a while," he said again.

~~~

Saimi and Ellen brought Eva into the _sauna_. For decorum's sake, Liam waited in the dressing room. On the walk out to the outbuilding, Liam noticed Eva's difficulty in walking, no doubt from laying in bed for more than a week and not eating properly for longer than that. She would regain her strength by eating and simply being up and about. _One step at a time,_ he thought. Before washing, it took a bit of time to detangle Eva's hair but they got through it. Keeping a discrete eye on Eva, she didn't talk much but she cooperated and even helped do some of the scrubbing. _She's so depressed_. _Jesus, she's lost weight. I felt ribs it when I lifted her. This may take a while,_ he thought. _I'll have a bed set up in her room. I would like to be there at all times for her. Saimi may not like it, but it'll have to be done, at least for the next few days._

While Ellen was giving the final rinse, Saimi came out of the _sauna_ dripping wet. "Vhat is next, Liam?" she asked after closing the door.

"I'd like to have a bed or cot in the room with her, at least for the next few days. If she wakes in the night, I want to be there. And, for the record, there will be no untoward advances on my part. Dr. Andersen sees, as I do, the seriousness of her present emotional state."

"I know he does. I can get cot and some blankets. I know you von't hurt her."

"Let's keep her away from that bed until this evening. She can help cook supper. We'll get her back to a routine, without her feeling like we're pushing too much."

"Puss yust lil bit," Saimi said with a slight smile.

"For the days, she ought to have somethin' to do. What does she do for a hobby? I saw knitting and mending. Something like that."

"See says see had loom in Finland."

"Where can we get a loom?"

"To order vould take veeks. But my friend Matti has loom at his house. Hees vife is die. I call him. Nobody's use it. Maybe ve can buy it from him."

"Let's get her weavin', then. Do ye think we can call him now?" Liam felt a bit of urgency at getting Eva back to the living. "Perhaps we can get it here tonight. We have to keep her from the bed for periods of time. It'll take time to wean her from it, but the sooner we start the better."

~~~

Saimi ran into the house to call about the loom.

"Matti gonna sell loom for very good price," Saimi told Liam in a whisper when she came back to the _sauna_. "Ve can get it today. You go vit horse and buckboard."

"That's grand."

Eva and Ellen came out of the _sauna_ and into the dressing room.

"I dry you, Eva," Saimi said.

Liam took Ellen outside to talk. "Don't let her back in bed until past supper. I'm heading to Matti's to get a loom. We need to keep her busy during the days."

"I like dat," Ellen said. "She's very sad my Pappa died."

"She is. If we all work together, I know we'll get yer Mamma on her feet again."

~~~

A short while later, Liam, bundled against the cold, hitched the horse to the buckboard in the barn. With some cash in his pocket, he drove to Matti Huttunen's farm a few miles down the road where he procured the loom. Matti's grown son Arne came along in one of their carriages to help unload it. Arne, Liam, and Ellen carried the bulky structure into the parlor. Arvid also gave Liam a wooden box of supplies, two shuttles, and tools, plus two large linen bags stuffed amply with strips of woolen cloth. Eva, still weak on her legs, came in from the kitchen to watch them set the loom in a sunny window.

"Hello, Eva," Arne greeted her respectfully. "I think you will like this."

"What do ye think?" Liam asked Eva. He moved closer to her. He wanted to pull her into the activity. He noticed how Ellen clung to her mother.

Eva gave Liam and Arne a faint smile of appreciation, but overall, she remained recognizably despondent. She did, however, go to the wooden box of supplies and gently rummaged through. Ellen helped.

Saimi looked at Liam with an expression of hope. Liam raised his eye brows in response. He hoped that this loom would help Eva start the long climb out of her profound grief and self-imposed guilt, something of which Liam knew much about. He still got a strong sense that Eva was uncomfortable with his presence. It would be a gentle dance to be present for her as well as keeping his distance. He didn't know for sure how this was all going to work.

~~~

That first night, Ellen coaxed her mother to sit in the rocker while she read to her from Mark Twain. Finally, Eva began to yawn. Ellen put her mother to bed, kissed her, and then went to bed herself. Liam went into Eva's bedroom. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. He sat in the rocker for quite a while switching between reading a magazine by lamplight, then watching Eva. Her face lacked the haggard look she wore while she was up. _She looks peaceful_ , he thought. She was still pale and her cheeks were sunken. Somewhere around ten, Liam lay down on the cot and dozed. He was awakened at one in the morning by crying. It was Eva. He got up and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Eva, it's all right, let me hold ye, darlin'."

He scooped her thin body into his arms and held her like a child. He rocked her back and forth for several minutes. He felt her relax and cuddle into his chest. When she started to calm, she did something that took him by surprise. He didn't know what to do other than just let her do it. He thought she was mostly asleep anyway. Eva pulled her nightgown up, put her hand in between her legs, and brought herself to a climax in Liam's lap, all the while nuzzling him. When she finished, she emitted a giant sigh and went limp.

She murmured something in Finnish.

"That's a good girl," Liam whispered in response.

He laid her back on the bed and made sure she was covered. He went back to his own cot. He lay awake for a while, thinking about Eva and what she had just done. _I'm not surprised really. The orgasm probably made her feel alive again. It's a good sign, although now I'm mightily aroused._ He left it alone, however. It felt wrong for him to gain satisfaction from her rudimentary start at regaining her life. He let it wane on its own and fell asleep.

~~~

For the next few nights, Liam rocked her in the dark. She didn't touch herself again, but seemed to gain comfort from him holding her. During her days, Eva puttered on the loom for short periods of time after breakfast in her nightgown. She didn't make any attempt to dress. After a few days of this, Liam got an idea. He spoke to Saimi in private.

"I'll get her dressed in the morning while you tend to the boarders. I'll get her started. Don't worry, I'll avert my eyes if she's uncovered. But she needs to get out of the nightgown for the day."

~~~

"Good morning, Eva," Liam said the next morning, yawning and shuffling through her dresser drawers, pulling out undergarments. "Did ye sleep well?"

"Vhat you do vit my bloomers?"

"No more nightgown all day." He laid the garments on the bed.

"I'm too tired." She got out of bed.

"Ye can't go out and about in yer nightgown." Liam thought she was still in a physically weakened state. This was one of those dances he had to play just right.

"I don't vanna go novhere."

"Either ye dress yerself, or I do it."

"You can't make me." She crossed her arms. Her furrowed brow deepened further.

"You've been hungry these last few mornings, and I'm standin' between you and your pancakes, so I suggest ye get dressed." He felt more like a disciplining parent than a doctor. Her anger now was better than despair. _She's makin' progress,_ he thought _._

It was a momentary stand-off with Eva muttering what Liam guessed to be vulgar Finnish epithets by her tone. Glaring at Liam, she pulled her nightgown over her head and stood naked before him in defiance, then quickly sat down on the bed and pulled on her winter stockings and undergarments. She huffed as she worked.

"I know ye're not happy with me, but Ellen will be so happy to see ye."

She looked up at him. He saw a softer expression.

_Jesus, she's beautiful,_ he thought. _She'll put on the weight she lost and get those curves back again. I already see some_. He temporarily lost composure and could feel himself blush from the neck up. He averted his eyes as he told Saimi he would do by walking to the small closet to see what was in there.

"What do ye want to wear?" he asked.

" _I_ get it," she snapped.

When she was done with her undergarments, she came to the closet and stood next to Liam. "You vait in a kitsen. Go 'vay," she groused.

"This mornin' I'll wait in here. Tomorrow may be different."

### Chapter 7

Eva woke to her monthly cramping and a foul mood. It was already light out. Mid-March seemed more like winter than spring but she was grateful for the clear sky and sun. Looking up from her pillows, she discovered Ellen was already up and eating breakfast. _I don't want to get up. Please don't let me get up for anything._ It was her half-prayer to anyone who might be listening. In the time since Liam had come, she struggled every day but it seemed to be getting easier overall. _I am glad I don't want to die anymore. Liam was right that I need to be here for Ellen._ She was grateful for his help, but sometimes she wished he wasn't there to make her do things. _I just don't want to do anything with him today. Please, please let me alone today._ She sat up on the edge of the bed. She noticed the sun had not arrived at the north side of the house yet. Even though the house was warm, the thought of the frigid air just beyond the walls and windows made her shiver. _I will be happy when the spring comes._ Her head ached and her belly cramps made her nauseous. She stood and prepared to dress. Ellen had the habit of rushing in just when Eva was getting dressed right when the boarders were eating, so Eva moved to the corner of the room that hid her. Ellen did not disappoint. As soon as Eva was naked, she busted in from the kitchen.

"Mamma, breakfast is ready. Are you?"

"What does it look like, Ellen?" Eva said in Finn, struggling with how she addressed her well-meaning daughter.

"It looks like you're naked," Ellen said in English, whispering and closing the door.

There was a time in Eva's past that she would've giggled at the _Villi Ruusu's_ answer, but she could not muster it up that morning so she continued to get dressed.

By the time Eva stepped out from her bedroom with Ellen following, the boarders had gone to get ready for church. It was just Saimi in the kitchen. She spoke to Eva, who cringed. She knew she was about to be asked to do something.

"I want you and Liam to shovel the path and hitch the horse to the sleigh. Have some coffee, then you can eat when we leave."

"Please don't wake him," Eva said in Finn. "I don't want to see him this morning. He's here day after day. I don't get to be by myself."

"That's not entirely true. He agreed to stay on and help. We need it, Eva."

~~~

Liam lay in bed looking out the window noting that even though it was mid-March, the weather was as bad as January. About two weeks after he came to help, he and Ellen had traded places to sleep. Eva had made enough progress so that Liam was no longer worried about her taking her life. _Christ, it's cold here,_ Liam thought for the thousandth time that winter _._ At least the sun was higher in the sky. _Spring? That's a joke!_ It was another sub-zero dawn. Liam heard the stirrings of Saimi and Eva in the kitchen through the closed bedroom door. He could hear the ladies talking and sensed a strong edge to Eva's part of the conversation, which meant she was in a foul mood. _At least she's not in despair. Her moods are wicked, especially when she got her monthly in February. Jesus, she was the devil's own. It's comin' on again._ He had been keeping track. He had been very close to Eva in his care of her so he knew when she had worn her cloths.

Now that Eva was no longer in need of intense intervention, Liam had a tendency to mirror her moods. It was the most difficult when Eva said or did something that triggered a memory of Dolly. It was worse when a memory of Dolly's death flashed in his mind. He still considered her death his fault and it tore at him. For four years he had tried to drink that belief away and now he tried with all his might to shove it away mentally. He was failing miserably at ignoring it. When Eva had said she killed Victor, he had told her that her culpability in Victor's death was irrational right from the start. Taking care of Eva and keeping an eye on Ellen gave him a focus. But now that Eva and Ellen were better, he had much more time on his own and his unresolved thoughts and feelings began to flood his mind.

Now as he hid in his cocoon, a knock came softly on his door. He was used to that. He had agreed to stay on indefinitely to help out with chores since the man who used to do them was no longer alive. Eva and Saimi had put up with Liam's withdrawal from alcohol abuse and cared for him while he recuperated. The least he could do was to help out as much as he could.

"Liam," Saimi called quietly through the closed door. "Can you come have some coffee? Den you and Eva can clear snow for church."

"I'll be there in a few minutes," he answered respectfully, but he was highly unwilling to get out from the warm covers. And though the rising sun was making the frost on the windows sparkle, it made him shiver. He wasn't sure he wanted to face Eva in her miserable mood. Even so, he sat up on the edge of the bed in his long johns, noting his morning erection and his need to pee. He looked out at the forbidding cold, feeling empty.

~~~

About half an hour later, Eva and Liam were out in the back, both carrying shovels. Liam figured that neither one of them wanted to be with the other, let alone out in the frigid air.

He walked out from the back steps, snow drifts to his knees. "Where do ye want me to start, Eva?"

"Vhat you mean, vhere to start?" she spewed. "Dere is damn snow all over yard. Yust start diggink!" She turned her back on him and started to shovel off the steps on the back porch.

Liam, with his mood free-falling like an avalanche into anger at her foul response, picked up a shovelful of wet snow and heaved it at her as hard as he could. The giant snowball hit her on the back and neck, knocking her to her knees. She screamed in surprise.

"What the hell do ye mean talkin' to me that way, ye fuckin' bitch," he yelled.

She threw her shovel aside and ran toward him through the knee-deep snow. She was yelling in Finnish and swinging her fists. She pummeled him in the torso and anywhere else her fists could land. Tears of rage streamed down her face. In her wild, crazed swinging, she landed a solid one on his jaw.

He quickly subdued her by a controlled throw into the soft snow, landed on his knees and straddled her to stop her from kicking him. He pinned her flailing arms and fists across her chest and belly. She struggled, yelling and screaming.

"I'm not lettin' ye up until ye calm down and stop hittin' me!" he said.

Eva was no longer enraged but had shifted to uncontrollable sobbing.

"I don't have to stay here, ye know. I didn't deserve the way ye answered me."

"I sordy," she whispered between hiccupping sobs.

"Is it yer wish I go, to just leave here?"

She looked at him wide-eyed. "No!"

"I'll tell ye the truth." He softened. "I don't want to go."

She sobbed and said again, "I sordy I so nasty, Liam."

He felt her relax and give up the fight. He didn't want her to be submissive; that was not his intent. He stood up and pulled her up with him. He then took his handmade mitten off, tucked it under his arm, and reached into his pocket to pull out a kerchief to wipe her tears. She looked at him with brief glances. His gentle ministrations seemed to soothe her.

"Ye're quite the feisty wee fighter," he said. "Ye have a mean left hook. Remind me not to get on yer bad side again." He smiled softly as he pulled snow from her collar and neck.

"Vhat left hook?" she asked, sniffling. She seemed to be testing how it would be if she looked in his eyes for more than a glance at a time.

"A nasty punch in the face with yer left hand," he explained, holding the hand she'd used.

One corner of her mouth smiled proudly as he touched his jaw and wiggled it around, playing a little. She took a mitten off and reached to rub the red spot from the punch. He felt touched by her gesture. He felt that strong pull in his heart and ... down below. _No, Liam. It could have the opposite effect,_ he said to himself, having a pang of guilt for his physical response. A memory flashed to a night in Chicago with a lonely young woman named Kelly Ann. The feelings for Eva were almost overwhelming especially when he had held her down in the snow. Her physical attraction to him was blatantly noticeable; he had felt her squirm under him.

When her tears were dried, he surprised himself by bending to kiss her, softly on the lips. When he pulled away he felt her lean in for more as if she was aching for the affection. She stopped and gazed into his eyes. He saw so many questions in them. _She's wonderin' why I kissed her and wonderin' why I stopped._

She pulled the mitten off her left hand and showed him her skinned knuckles. He kissed those, too.

"I'm sorry for the snow down yer neck, and fer callin' ye a bad name," he said. He watched her softening blue eyes. That also touched him.

They finished shoveling a path through the snow in short order, along with hitching the horse to the sleigh working silently but comfortably together. The sun showed pale in the blue sky as they left the barn. "Let's go in and I'll clean up yer knuckles," he said.

~~~

As Ellen, Saimi, and the boarders readied themselves for church, Liam and Eva sat at the kitchen table. He cleaned Eva's knuckles with the available antiseptic and put a bandage on them.

"Mamma, vhat happened to you?" Ellen asked as she came from the bedroom. She had a frown on her face as she observed Liam tending to her mother.

"I hurt ... outside," Eva said.

"It's easier if another person tends to a hand wound of someone else's," Liam explained.

Eva asked Ellen, "Vhy you frown? You tink hees gonna hurt me?"

Ellen answered in Finnish.

"Who said somptink 'bout dat?"

Ellen replied in Finnish again and put an end to the conversation by walking away from her mother. She stomped over to the back door to get her coat and sat on the bench to put on her winter boots. She went out the back door, which seemed to leave Eva slightly stunned. It took a minute for the rest to leave.

Liam could tell Ellen had been talking about him because of the Finnish. Then she ignored him the entire time. He stood up to get pancakes for them at the stove. He came back and gave Eva a plate and a fork from the silverware drawer in the table. She smiled faintly at him. They shared the rest of the pancakes and preserves. Liam took a few bites. He glanced occasionally at Eva to try to get a read on her mood. It had definitely plummeted since the exchange with her daughter. He swallowed his food.

"Do ye want to talk about what just happened with Ellen?" he said.

"I don't know," Eva answered. Her eyes remained on her plate.

They ate breakfast in a somber mood and helped each other with clean-up. After that, both Liam and Eva retreated to their own bedrooms.

~~~

Eva sat on the edge of her bed. She was in a maddening state of confusion. It felt like she was screaming inside her head. Soon, the internal screaming became audible crying and she began to sob into her pillow. She cried for what seemed like hours.

Suddenly, Liam was there, pulling her to him. "Eva," he whispered, wrapping his body around hers. "I heard ye. It's all right now."

"I use to be happy!" she yelled in between wails. "Vhat happen my life?" Her sobs were uneven. "Vhy Victor leef me?!" She thrashed in his arms. "I don't understand." She pounded the mattress with her fist, eventually sobbing herself into exhaustion. Liam held onto her stroking her hair as she lay limp and stuffy-nosed. She turned herself around to face him and nuzzled into him. He continued to stroke her hair and neck. She felt soothed by him. When she came a bit more out of herself, she noticed that Liam was crying too.

"Vhy, Liam? Vhy dey go from us?" Eva felt calmer, but tears still flowed and her voice faltered with hoarseness.

"I don't know," he whispered.

She looked up at him, his face wet with tears. Now it was her turn to comfort him. She put her hand on his face and stroked his overgrown black hair. _His hair is so beautiful,_ she thought.

They stayed in each other's arms on the bed for a long while. Eventually, Eva thought she should tell Liam what Ellen had said to her in the kitchen. "Ellen says sees don't vant new Pappa," Eva said finally.

"I thought it was somethin' like that. She's frightened, Eva. Her heart is still broken, just like yours."

"And you, too," Eva added. She started to cry again. "I can't fix Ellen's heart." She felt him pull her close. "Please don't go," she whispered into his chest. "Maybe you vant to. I von't stop you. I vant you stay, please."

She felt him take a deep breath and let it out. He kissed her forehead.

"It may not be easy," he said. "If it hurts Ellen too much to have me here, I'll have to go."

"Ellen is verdy good girl. I know sees don't hate you. You say sees scared. I tink so, too. I am verdy scared, too. I feel mix up. I miss Victor in old country. Ve vere happy. Vhen ve come here, it get bad. I lose Victor lonk time ago he's die."

"I understand," Liam answered. "Ye lost him before he died."

Eva lay calm and silent while Liam held her. She felt confusion about her feelings for Liam, and she couldn't forget the long-held love and the forsaking of another for that love that she had for the man who was suddenly gone from her life. It was overwhelming but she felt safe and taken care of in Liam's arms.

"Ye seem a little better," Liam said, leaning away to see her face.

She gazed into his eyes, then nodded yes.

"What time is it?" She leaned away and looked at the clock. "Time to cook."

"I'll help," he offered.

She was unwilling to leave the burgeoning physical intimacy. She buried herself into his arms and chest. She felt him wanting to stay, too. Looking up, she must've shown it in her face, because he did exactly what she wanted him to do. He kissed her.

"I vant to ..." she whispered. Her physical attraction to him was too much hold back.

"I do, too, Eva, but it's ... we're still so raw with our losses."

"Vhat raw means?"

"It's still a deep wound. Look at ye just now. We need more time to get better. Ellen needs more time. What if ... ye get with child?"

She felt hurt. " _En välitä jos on vauva,"_ she blurted.

"Did ye just say you don't care if ye have a baby?"

"Yes."

"Aye, ye do care, Eva. And, ye know we're not ready for anything like that."

She huffed through her nose. She was grateful he was patient enough to let her show her feelings. But as they got up from the bed she knew he was right. Her desire did not wane but she walked with him to the door of the bedroom without acting on her sexual yearning. He stopped her gently, pulling her to look at him.

"Are ye all right?"

"I ... I still mix up."

He embraced her. She leaned back to look at him. Without words, he again did what she wanted him to. It was the kiss that sealed their fate.

"Are ye ready for this, Eva?"

"No," she said teary-eyed.

"Neither am I."

This time she kissed him.

~~~

When Ellen, Saimi, and the boarders returned from their morning at church, they found Liam and Eva working together in the kitchen. Eva felt nervous, worried that they would read things from her face and it would give away everything. She glanced at Liam, who looked as nervous as she felt. _I'm glad we didn't have sex. I would be throwing up right now._

Ellen, after removing her coat and boots and putting on her slipper-socks, stood for a while, watching the goings on in the kitchen.

Eva could see her watching Liam like a hawk. She spoke in Finnish. "What are you watching?"

"I didn't know he could cook," Ellen answered in English.

"Well, I can't surely," Liam answered. "I can pretend to peel potatoes. See?" He lifted the pot from the counter for Ellen to look. The little potatoes had not yet been diced for boiling. "You should've seen the size o' them when I started peeling," he whispered incredulously, dead-pan. "They were as big as yer head."

"Potatoes don't grow that big," Ellen said.

"I know they don't. I was just seein' how intelligent ye are. I'm pleasantly surprised."

He glanced at Ellen, finished dicing the potatoes, and handed the pot to Eva.

"I was wonderin', Ellen. I know there's a game of checkers in the parlor on the shelf. Would ye like to play a game? I'm pretty good."

"Maybe."

Eva watched the exchange surreptitiously as she rolled out a pie crust.

"What if we up the stakes and play for pennies? Say two per game."

"Mamma, can Liam and I gamble?"

"I don't mind," Eva said nonchalantly.

"And I don't vant to tink you're letting me win, either," Ellen insisted.

"I wouldn't insult ye like that."

"Do you vant to play now?" Ellen asked. "I have a jar."

"Do ye need me, Eva?"

"You go play."

"Go get yer pennies," Liam said to Ellen, digging into his trouser pockets for his own.

While Ellen was in the bedroom getting her penny jar, Liam glanced at Eva. He raised his eyebrow. She gave him a cautiously optimistic eyebrow raise in return.

~~~

Liam had the first three games when Ellen started to beat him. They were sitting cross-legged on the rug in the parlor next to the warm radiator.

"Are you sure you're not letting me win?" Ellen asked.

"Do ye think I like losin' my money?"

"Probably not. Do you vant to switch to cards? I like Crazy Eights."

"Sure, but I've never played," he said.

He wanted to laugh out loud when the expression on Ellen's face turned into a stone-cold professional gambler ready to take him for all he was worth.

"Ye don't have a very good poker face," he said.

"I don't know vhat dat means."

"Yer face says what's on yer mind."

"It does?" She gave him a half smile and blushed.

He just nodded as he put the checkers away in the box, then watched her get the cards out of the cupboard in the built-in bookshelf. That's when he spotted the nearly full bottle of vodka. His stomach churned momentarily. She shut the cupboard door, plopped back on the rug, and began to shuffle the deck.

Before she started to deal, he saw her look at him with intent.

"What do ye want to ask?" he said.

"Do you miss your vife?"

"Very much. It still hurts that she's not with me anymore. I know how you and yer Mamma feel."

"I didn't know dat," she said, looking into his eyes. "Yes, I see it in your face."

~~~

Sunday dinners had always been eaten in the formal dining room. It was Saimi's day off so if she didn't go to Matti's, she went to the parlor with the boarders after dinner with her knitting. Ellen, Liam, and Eva were on clean-up duty. Plates and silverware and empty serving dishes were hauled into the kitchen. Liam liked getting back to the domestic connection to people the way he had with Annie and Dolly.

A week later, it was after dinner. "I vant to wash, please," Ellen declared. She retrieved the stool from the pantry she used to stand at the sink.

As Liam and Eva dried the dishes and put them in the cabinets, they chatted about her life in Finland. Liam was intrigued with the farm ideals Eva was raised with. Everything was used and very little was wasted. Even slaughtered animals were used to the fullest, she explained to him. Ellen interpreted when Eva didn't have the English words.

"Mamma said in Finland they used the cow's blood to make pancakes and other foods."

"Surely ye're lyin'."

"Oh, ve use it," Eva said in all seriousness. "Even tsickens eat it."

When Liam made a face at the thought of using cow's blood for anything, Ellen hid her smile. He saw this and knew she was still keeping an emotional distance from him. _She's made some gains playing checkers and cards with me, but she didn't know it, the little card sharp._ He smiled to himself.

As they continued to talk, Eva and Ellen were given a glimpse into Liam's childhood. He spoke highly of Annie, the cook, and told them about his parents' decadence compared to Eva and her family's more intelligent use of abundance.

"Don't get me wrong," he said. "I'm not against the money. I just don't like the high society pretense."

"Vhat is pretense?"

"Bein' false; pretendin' ye're better than others because ye have money."

"Mattsons haff lotta money, but dey verdy good people. Dey take care us, and treat us like family."

He saw a brief cloud of sadness pass over Eva's eyes as she poured a cup of coffee, but she was able to recover quickly. Seeing her reflect on a past moment brought a comparable scene to his mind—one of him, Annie, and Dolly on a Sunday night sitting around the kitchen table sipping tea and chatting. Then, with a vengeance, came another scene—one of Dolly on the ship and the blood all over. _Damn it, not that,_ he said to himself. His stomach churned. _Jesus, I want that vodka._

"Is Annie still live," Eva asked.

Liam, seeing clean-up at completion, realized the memories were not going to be momentary. "I'm going to take a nap," he said quickly. "Thanks for the dinner, Eva. Yes, Annie is alive. I started to write to her again. Ed Murphy has given me her return letter. But it's been a while since I wrote back." He rapidly retreated to the borrowed bedroom.

_Damn, I left so rudely,_ he thought. He stood next to the closed door with his hand on the door knob. He heard Eva and Ellen speak. Eva said something in Finnish, then Ellen spoke in English, as was their habit.

"He is sad again, about his wife."

~~~

A while later as Liam sat in the bedroom rocking chair and watched the dusk come upon the day, a soft knock came on the door.

"Come in," he said.

It was Eva. She stepped inside with a short stack of writing paper, a fountain pen, ink, and some envelopes.

"I tink you write to Annie. Sees vant to get more from you."

"I think so, too." Liam looked at Eva. He was on the verge of tears from the gesture. With tears teetering on her eyelashes, she handed him the paper and envelopes and put the ink pot and pen on the table. She pulled a roll of postage stamps out of her skirt pocket and held them out to him. He grasped her fingers as he took them and gave her a grateful gaze.

"Dees stamp go to Europe," she said, rolling the r.

"Thank you," he whispered, feeling the intimate moment in his heart.

~~~

For the month of April, Eva's feelings vacillated. She experienced a wide range of emotions, sometimes in extreme intensity for brief spurts, with movement forward, and movement back. Liam and Eva did not put themselves into a position where sex was too easily had, although Eva craved Liam much of the time. She was so lonely, yet fearful of the possibility of opening up to him. But when the opportunity to spend time together presented itself, they were able to comfort each other with talking and hugs if the need arose. They spent some days however, where they could hardly face one another because of the confusion and fears.

It was on those days that Liam busied himself out in the barn. He kept the horse tended and the stall mucked out. He took on the immense task of cutting and splitting the ten- and twelve-inch diameter log sections delivered by the lumber mill for next winter's fuel. Liam was rebuilding his musculature and strength. The strenuous nature of the task made him feel better, though he knew there were unresolved issues he was avoiding. And it was at a cost to his emotional healing.

~~~

In the beginning of May, Saimi told Eva she was becoming increasingly concerned for Liam.

In the unheated _sauna_ , the two were folding clean linens from the previous day's washing. It was now nice enough weather to hang the sheets outside to dry. They spoke in Finnish in case Liam should hear.

"I am seeing him withdraw and not able to concentrate on reading the newspaper," Saimi said. "He goes in and out of the house all day. Sits on the bench, walks to the lake and stays for a long time."

"What do I do?"

"Perhaps you can sit him down. Ask him what's troubling him."

"He may feel lonely out on the _sauna_ porch since he moved out here to give Ellen her room back. He's spending more time alone." Eva felt concerned. Her feelings and desire for Liam had not gone away since their snow fight, as she liked to call it.

"He most certainly has something on his mind," Saimi concluded. They finished folding the sheets. "Let's get these on the beds upstairs and bring the dirty linens down to wash tomorrow morning."

~~~

A few days later on an early Saturday afternoon towards mid-May, Eva was preparing the _sauna_ for use. She was running the water to fill the tank. She thought she heard a door slam but paid little heed to it since Ellen let it slam often. After turning the water off, she heard Saimi calling in alarm from the kitchen door.

Eva went to the _sauna_ door and looked Saimi's way, puzzled at her distress.

"It's Liam," Saimi cried in Finnish. "He's heading for the lake with a bottle of vodka."

Eva went back into the _sauna_ for her shawl and took off after Liam. "Finish setting the fire for _sauna_ , please," she hollered to Saimi. She took off towards the woody path that led to the lakeshore. She could see Liam disappear down the path on the other side of the field.

~~~

When Eva arrived at the lake, she found Liam sitting on a big downed maple tree away from the shore, next to the woods. He hadn't yet opened the bottle he held in his hand. She stood breathless about twenty feet away. Both looked deeply into each other's eyes. Eva could see his deep angst.

Slowly, she walked toward him. "Vhat you say, Liam? Yust say it," she whispered. She came to him and put her hand on his cheek.

He blurted out in a sobbing gasp, the tears flowing freely. "It was my fault! She's dead because I was too lazy to get her magazine."

Eva didn't understand what he said, other than "it was my fault," but she moved swiftly and took him into her arms anyway. He could not stand, so they collapsed on the ground in front of the tree.

"Don't tink dat—you are good man, Liam," she said firmly. She rocked him as he lay across her lap. He wept and wept for many minutes.

As he calmed, she could feel him gently, slowly push into her. He began to kiss her neck and move his mouth on hers. His hand went to her cheek. It felt so good to her. She would let him do whatever he wanted to do. She let him lay her down. He looked at her and smiled softly.

She knew his need. "You are so good, Liam, so good. I luff you. I sordy 'bout Dolly. It yust happen, dat's all. Like Victor." There was no turning back. "Come to me," she said.

He lifted her skirt and took off her undergarment, giving her a long gaze. She moaned as he entered her. He paused for a brief moment, looking into her eyes. "Eva ..." he whispered. After a dozen or so gentle, slow thrusts, she felt the pleasure wash over her. It felt like living again. She watched his face as he finished. It was the sexiest thing she ever saw—his face, his body lying on her, how he moved. _Like a god_ , she thought. The experience was even better than she had dreamed of since the snow fight.

~~~

Liam lay in Eva's arms for a long while. Keenly aware of what he and Eva had just done, he kissed and nuzzled her, feeling a happiness grow inside him. _That was so beautiful. She's like a goddess._

He lifted his head from the crook of her neck, staring into her eyes. "Thank you, Eva. Ye saved me again." He kissed her soft and long.

"I'm happy you come back," she whispered.

"As am I." For the first time in months he felt his muscles release from the tension he had built from avoiding his attraction to her. It was like taking steam in the _sauna_.

He became aware that the ground under his knees and elbows was wet, and he noticed that Eva was stirring.

"I am vet under me," she said, giving a little shiver.

He got to his feet and pulled her off their earthly bed. After the pleasantly self-conscious rearranging of their clothes, they stood still, arms wrapped tightly around each other. They gazed at nature's blend of sun, sky, wind, and water over the lake. The water sparkled like thousands of white jewels in the sun.

"Think we better get back. Let's get ye changed," Liam said, breaking the sweet spell.

She bent to pick up her bloomers and put them in her skirt pocket. She also picked up the unopened bottle of vodka that Liam was going to punish himself with. She took it to the water's edge, opened it, and poured the contents into the lake, forever diluted and undrinkable. Then she heaved the empty glass bottle into the woods as far as she could. As they walked back to the boarding house, they held hands.

"Do ye think it was ... too much, Eva?"

"I tink ... I don't know. Ve s'pose to do it. It come next."

"It was meant to be. Is that what ye're sayin'?"

"I tink, maybe," she answered and looked at him. "You feel bedder?"

"Oh, aye," He nodded and gazed into her eyes.

They both gave an audible sigh, rewrapped their fingers tighter together and walked back to the boarding house.

~~~

Saimi was straightening up the parlor when heard Ellen fly through the back entry, shut the door, and remove her outer clothing. She came into the parlor in her stocking feet and sat in the big comfy chair. She was winded, and it took her a while to return to normal breathing. Saimi saw Ellen's pensive, faraway look. She decided not to ask, sensing that Ellen was trying to sort something out on her own. Saimi concluded it was not something that terribly disturbed Ellen but concerned her, perhaps surprised her. Saimi didn't have to think long about what that could be. She knew Eva went after a distressed man, a man she had been close to for the last few weeks. Saimi also knew that Ellen had ambivalent feelings about this new man in her mother's life.

Saimi said to her: "Can I get you something to drink, Ellen?"

Seemingly surprised at the intrusion into her thoughts, Ellen replied politely in Finnish. "No, thank you."

Saimi left the parlor and went to the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. She glanced out the backdoor window to see if smoke was still coming from the _sauna_ chimney. She saw the smoke but she also spotted Liam and Eva at the _sauna_ door, examining Eva's muddy wet back. Eva went into the _sauna_ while Liam, with muddy trouser knees and jacket elbows, went to the summer porch, but not before he kissed Eva and squeezed her hand as they parted. She took a deep breath of concern and let it out slowly. "Now I know vhat you see, Ellen."

### Chapter 8

Two days later, Eva took a break from a weaving project she'd started on the loom. It was mid-morning. Ellen was at school and Liam was outside with a chore. She walked into the kitchen where Saimi was finishing the morning pots and pans.

"Sit, Eva. Have some coffee," She spoke in Finnish.

"I'd like that," Eva said in the tongue she was most comfortable with.

They poured their coffee and sat at the table. Eva wondered why Saimi seemed so preoccupied as she loaded her coffee with cream and sugar.

"Eva, I know you are a grown woman. I can see you and Liam getting closer. In some ways, I think it's wonderful. I just want to say, please go slowly. He's had more than four years since his wife died. You ..."

"I know," Eva said quietly. "I've had barely five months."

"What if one of you changes your mind?"

"Saimi, I know this can be frightening. After all, I didn't know when I married Victor at eighteen that he was going to cheat on me."

"I don't think either one of you is done with your grieving."

"No, I know I am not. But more often times than not, Liam is a comfort to me. I've barely seen him these two days, but I can't let that bother me." But as she said that, she realized it _did_ bother her.

"Oh, I don't know," Saimi said switching to English. "I yust vordy 'bout you, Eva. I vant you to be happy."

"Tank you, Saimi," Eva spoke in English, too.

Eva finished her coffee, put the cup in the sink, and went back to sit at the loom in the parlor. Saimi headed upstairs with the dust mop. Eva leaned her elbows on the loom and put her head in her hands. _Perhaps making love at the lake wasn't meant to be anything but a moment of comfort for both of us_ , she thought. _Liam is probably going to leave soon now that the weather has warmed._ She sat feeling dejected and more confused than ever.

She heard the back door open and close and footsteps coming into the foyer. It was Liam.

He paused when he saw her face. "Eva—"

"Liam," she interrupted. She did not want him to say anything that would shatter her heart more. "I tink it's time you leef," she spurted impulsively.

"Why?"

"You don't have to stay anymore. I know time at lake vas yust comfort, notink else for you."

"Ye can't tell me what I felt," Liam said adamantly. He walked toward her. "I have had bouts of wondering what I was going to do next but leavin' wasn't on my mind."

Feeling insecure she got up and headed for her room but she had to pass Liam in order to go there.

He gently stopped her by taking her forearm. "Do ye want me to go?" he asked softly with his eyes intent on hers. She tried to pull away. "Eva, do ye wish me to be gone?"

"I don't know." She pulled a little harder. He let her go. He followed her to the bedroom door.

As she closed the door she heard Liam say, "Ye'll let me know soon because I feel I've just worn out my welcome."

She ran to her bed in tears. Maybe it was time.

~~~

Heart heavy, Liam went out the back door to the summer porch. He stood there wanting desperately to have an answer come to him. _Does she really want me to go? Or is she just as scared and confused as I am?_ The afternoon at the lake had been very intimate. Perhaps he'd been right when he questioned if it was "too much." He sat down on the edge of the day bed, elbows propped on his knees, head in his hands.

He heard the door open and looked up. It was Eva. She closed the door behind her and stood leaning against it as though she were indecisive about coming in all the way or leaving.

"Do you tink ... it ... vas too mutts?"

"I don't know."

"Do you hate it?"

"God no, Eva. It ... was beautiful. I ... love you ..." His voice trailed off fearing she would reject him.

She took a big breath and walked up to him and stood between his knees. He put his arms around her waist, his cheek against her belly. He loved touching her. Her hands cupped his face. She knelt in front of him and wrapped her arms around his neck. They kissed tenderly. As he lay back on the bed, he pulled her with him. His arousal was strong and he wanted her. She pushed her genitals into his. "Are ye sure again," he whispered.

"I vant you, Liam. It make me ... crazy." She kissed him. She moved against him rhythmically. "Come inside me," she said with her lips on his.

He grasped her buttocks and moved in the same rhythm. _Am I doin' the right thing?_ he thought. _But she feels so good. She is just as terrified as I am. I see it in her face. But she is so giving. She's so open and unabashed. What is she doing? She's opening her blouse. Let me help her. Seeing her breasts makes me want to take her fast. No. Go slowly. I don't want to rush. Let me look at her. Feel her. Kiss her. I hear her. She's making a humming sound, like purring. She's pushing herself into me, rubbing. Jesus, it feels good. Her skirt is in the way. Pull it up. God, she smells good. Like the outdoors. Now I smell her desire._

"Please let me in, Eva."

She opened his buttons and pulled him out. She gave him a lusty gaze and put him in her mouth.

"I want to be inside you."

She accommodated him and helped him inside her.

I want to put my hands on her breasts until I come.

With his hands on her ample breasts, he breathed, "God! Eva ... ah ... uuuhhhh!"

It took her a few seconds more of moving against him for her climax. She collapsed onto his chest. They fell asleep in each other's arms.

~~~

When Eva left Liam some time later, he was sleeping. _He looks like a little boy. So sweet_. She walked to the house dreamily, satisfied. But trepidation soon took its place.

_Vhat I do now? I luff him, but I still mix up 'bout tinks. Vat if he turn out to be like Victor?_ Eva was surprised she was thinking in English. Having a strictly English speaker in her life now had forced her to rely on the language she had dreaded to use and fought so stubbornly not to.

She entered the house to find Saimi starting supper. She picked up where she could assist even though she was full of worry.

Eva glanced at her. Saimi knew.

~~~

After the second time they made love, Eva wanted to be with Liam all the time. She got her wish for the first few days but then he seemed to be absent for a few days. She didn't want to say anything to him about it, however.

One beautiful warm and breezy afternoon, Eva decided to go into town to mail letters and pick up some seeds and sets of onions and potatoes to plant her garden. She went to the barn to get her small wagon so she could haul all her garden supplies home.

The hardware store, attached to the dry goods store and run by the same family, always carried seeds of all kinds in the spring. Mr. Jacobsen was a friendly, elderly man with a bald head and a permanently stooped back.

"Hello, Eva," he said. "It's so good to see you. How are you, my dear? My wife wonders about you and how you've faired this winter."

"I haff been good. Tell Mrs. Yacobsen tank you."

She gave him her order.

As he began to fill it, he said, "I saw the Irishman the other day with the Widow Johnson. Isn't she your neighbor?"

Eva took several seconds for her brain to register what Mr. Jacobsen had just said. Everyone seemed to know who the Irishman was and where he was staying. Rumors about him had started when he first arrived. No one in the Finnish Community out of respect for Eva, linked him to her in a salacious way. He was simply assisting Saimi and Eva at the boarding house since Victor had died in exchange for his room and board. Saimi had made sure the story was straight.

"Oh, I didn't know dat." It was the only thing she could think to say. A sick feeling in her belly grew as Mr. Jacobsen continued to load her wagon with onion sets, potato seeds, and a variety of root vegetable seed packages. She paid him, mustered a polite goodbye, and left for the post office, then home.

Still feeling sick about the news about Liam and the widow, as she passed her house, the front door opened. Liam came out onto the porch, only to stop dead in his tracks upon seeing Eva standing on the sidewalk. Mrs. Johnson, looking smugly at Eva, put her hand on her hip. Mortified, Eva dropped the wagon handle and ran home. A horrible rage built up in her. She thought she was going to throw up. When she got to the back yard, she could not stop the gorge from rising. When she stopped puking near the back steps, she stumbled up the stairs to the kitchen door. She could hear Liam behind her with the wagon calling her name, but she wouldn't stop. She ran into her room and slammed the door. She tried to lock it but the key was missing, so she stood pushing against it so Liam could not come in.

She heard him follow.

He knocked on her door. "Eva, let me in."

"Get out!" she screamed.

"No, let me in." He pushed on the door. "Eva, please."

"You can yust go to her, now! I'm done vit you!" Eva was shaking with anger. She could feel him pushing against the door. She knew he would be able to get in. So, she ran to her bed, burying her face in her pillow. She heard him come in and walk over to the bed.

"I don't understand what's goin' on." He spoke gently.

"I don't haff any control over you!" Her face was in the pillow so her yelling was muffled. She didn't wait for a response, but sat up, glared at him, and continued. "You don't haff any idea 'bout her. I do. Sees try to steal Victor. Sees ..." Eva could not go on.

"I have no interest in her whatsoever, Eva. She said she needed help with a stopped-up sink. We went to the hardware."

Eva looked at Liam as he studied her face with great puzzlement. She watched his face as it changed to a shocked understanding.

"Sees steal Victor," she murmured.

"Did Victor ... He was unfaithful to ye with her, Eva."

"He taut I never knew. Oh, maybe I didn't know for lonk time. I found out few veeks before he die." She started to cry and lay back down in a fetal position.

"Eva, sweetheart, I'm so sorry," Liam said. He went to her and wrapped his body around her while she wept. "For you, I'll never go there again, I promise. I didn't know."

They lay curled up together on the bed for a long time. Suddenly Ellen, home from school, knocked on the door and peeked her head into the room. She asked no questions, but just joined them, curling up into her sad Mamma's arms. The three stayed that way. Eva could feel the new relationships that were growing, still raggedy and rough, out of the sadness and hurt, all three striving for a new beginning.

~~~

The next day, while having a cup of coffee at the kitchen table, Liam and Saimi had a chance to talk alone. Eva was at school with Ellen for the morning. Ellen and her group were putting on a play and she had begged her mother to come. Liam had talked her into it the night before.

"Ellen will think its grand when she sees ye there," he'd said as he put his arms around her. "It's time, darlin', for standin' on yer own two feet again—to keep goin'. Don't let the Johnson woman do this to ye anymore. And," he hesitated just for a moment, "don't let Victor do it anymore either."

Liam looked across the table at Saimi now. "Did ye know of Victor's affair when it happened?" he asked Saimi.

"Not right avay, but I saw somptink change in Eva maybe three veek before he die. Dat's vhen you came."

"So he was discovered just before I came."

Liam now understood more clearly why Eva was so angry towards her husband and why Victor felt threatened by his presence. Eva's abject hatred—perhaps fear of the woman down the street had humiliated her. _It was bad enough that Victor died but on top of it, there was his betrayal of Eva and of everything she held close to her heart all of her life_. Liam took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Now it's not her secret anymore," Saimi said. "Dere might be relief in her heart." She paused. "You have to be careful you don't hold her up too much. Having her go vit Ellen to school vas good step."

"I think so, too," he agreed.

"Victor told me vhen dey first get here, in Finland Eva vas stronk and bossy and had love of life. But vhen dey get here, see lose a lot. See get too needy. See didn't speak Eenliss. She stay home a lot. I tink she was heartbroken vhen dey leef Finland. Den Victor got yob at Mesabi and he gone all a time. Hees drink a lot."

"She had no one but you and Ellen. I wonder why Victor gave up on her, gave up on their marriage."

"All she had vas Ellen. That's vhy dey so close. Ellen vant to proteck her now."

Liam was pondering all that Saimi was telling him.

"In time, you gonna find out yust how mutts Ellen proteck," Saimi said. "See sees everytink."

Liam gave her a puzzled look, thought about it, and then felt the heat of anxiety and embarrassment wash over his face. "She saw us—Eva and I—at the lake?" He took a breath and blew it out through his nose.

"I pretty sure sees did. I see you and Eva from kitchen vindow. Ellen vas out of breath and excited. I don't know 'bout happy, but not upset."

"Well, that's good that at least she wasn't upset." Liam was not about to wreak havoc on a nine-year-old girl.

"No. I tink sees change her mind slowly 'bout you. And vatchink you and Eva ever since you came here."

"I think we've come a way, though," he said pensively.

Saimi smiled. "You haff come lonk vay, Liam. You still healink, you have stop drinkink, and seem happier. Eva must keep going too. Ve can't do it for her. Sees haff to do. Eva has been sad he's gone, but now ... sees gonna get very angry at Victor."

The conversation came to an end. Saimi and Liam sat quietly and finished their coffee.

~~~

Liam decided it was time for a talk with Ellen. He wanted to make sure that his being there was not harming or upsetting her in any way. One night, he asked Ellen if she wanted to go fishing at the lake the next day, early, before breakfast. She agreed. They dug for night crawlers when it got dark and put them in an old coffee can covered with a bit of earth.

The next morning at dawn, they got two fishing poles from the barn, grabbed the bait, and headed out for the lake. The chilly spring air reddened their noses. Dew covered the growing hayfield behind the house.

"Do ye know how to fish, Ellen?" he broke the silence as they walked.

"My Pappa took me sometimes."

"Was it fun then, with yer Pappa?"

"Oh, yes, he vas always good to me but not to Mamma after a vhile."

"What happened?" he asked hesitantly knowing he was getting into private things.

"At first dey happy but vhen Pappa got a job at Mesabi he started to stay out late on Fridays. Sometimes he came home in the morning. He couldn't stand and he smelled bad. Mamma and Pappa thought I didn't know, but I did."

"Ellen, ye don't have to talk about this if ye don't want to. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No, Liam. I vant to. My Mamma vas so unhappy for so long. Maybe you can help her."

"I want to help her. But she has to get this all out and not keep it hidden inside her mind anymore. Have ye noticed that she is getting better now that ..."

"Yes, now dat she gets a little angry, maybe a lot, den she feels better after."

"I have a feeling you saw our fight in the snow." Liam smiled a little.

Ellen smiled back. "Yes. I don't tink Mamma thought it vas so funny den."

"She got angry, then she cried, then she felt better." Liam used Ellen's words.

"You were nice to wipe her tears. I tink she liked dat."

"But ye're afraid of havin' a different Pappa too soon."

"I don't know ... I still miss my Pappa."

"I understand ye more than ye think," he said.

He paused and she glanced at him. He wanted to broach one more subject. "There was somethin' else I think ye saw too, a short while ago, and ye know what I'm talkin' about." He was trying to be gentle, showing respect.

She paused and looked up at him. "At the lake, yes Liam. I'm sorry. I was worried about my Mamma."

"Ellen, I love your Mother and if she gets ... well ..." He could feel the heat of discomfiture rising, "everything will be all right." He was taken aback by the conversation he was having with this beautiful, intelligent nine-year-old. When he looked down at the girl who knew too much about everything, she had the reflection of the early rising sun in her brilliant blue eyes.

"I von't be able to forget my Pappa," she said.

"I wouldn't want ye to."

She studied his face for the truth, seemed to see it, and sighed. "Then, Liam, let's go fishink." She took his free hand and they walked down to the shoreline in tentative companionship. He held back a tear or two, letting a bit more warmth come to stay around his heart.

A while later when they got too hungry to fish any longer, they came back home with a big appetite and nine fresh perch in the creel for supper.

### Chapter 9

Liam was not used to this garden planting business especially in the high sun of a very warm spring morning. It was nearing noon. The only place he had ever picked vegetables was out of a vendor's basket at St. Georges Market with Annie. He marveled at Eva's ability to work in the heat. He felt sweat dripping from his hairline down to his neck. "How do you know how to do all this?" he asked.

"I do dis all my life," she explained. She had dirt on her apron and hands as well as a big smudge on her forehead and cheek. She'd been rubbing her face with the back of her hand to wipe the sweat streaming from her hairline.

"Are we almost done? It feels like dinner time."

"You are too hot and tired?" She feigned sympathy. "I see you are sveaty Irishman." They stood in their spots watching each other.

"I am sveaty," he teased. He was suddenly aroused. He stared at Eva.

"I am all dirt," she said.

"I don't mind." He started towards her.

She unexpectedly started to run from him giggling like a teenager.

"What's this?" he said smiling. "Am I gonna have to chase ye down?"

"Maybe," she said, looking for a way to dodge his grasp. She was standing close to the barn door. She picked up her skirts and dashed for the opening. She gave a short squeal when he almost nabbed her on the way in.

She didn't seem to make it too difficult for him to catch her. She took a deep breath near Liam's neck. "You smell sexy," she said.

"I smell sweaty," he said, responding to her foreplay banter. He was fully erect.

"I like it."

"Why did ye make it easy for me to catch ye?" he said, out of breath. His arms were wrapped around her waist from behind. "I like the thrill of the chase."

"I am too tired and hot."

"So ye make fun of me for bein' hot and ye're in the same condition I'm in." He began to nuzzle her neck as he held her by her waist. "Well then. Maybe ye're too hot and tired for this." He pushed subtly into her buttocks.

"No, I can, vit right man." She was still playful, but responded more seriously to his nibbles on her neck by pushing into him with her buttocks.

"Do ye want to do it right here on the dirt floor, or would ye like to go to the soft hay pile over there?"

She pulled him by the hand to the hay. It rustled crisply as they lay down. She chose to be on the bottom.

Liam could feel the difference between Eva and Dolly as a sex partner. Dolly was petite and spindly like a small deer and sturdy enough. Eva was lean but like a moose in strength and duration. She was so unabashed and wanton. They had had sex many times in the last few weeks since the lake after Ellen left for school and Saimi left for errands. No one, Liam surmised, knew this about her except for Victor. And now he did. He was so attracted to her shape and played a bit harder with her than with Dolly. The fact that she was a bit round and bosomy excited him. When they were alone, he had to have his hands on her. Dolly did not have the curves that Eva had.

Eva's legs were now wrapped around his hips and her arms splayed out to her sides in the pile of hay. He watched her enjoy the ride she was on, smiling all the while. She hummed with each hard thrust, her breasts wobbling. He was sweaty with exertion. His breathing was audible and hoarse with his own abandon.

Watching her breasts wiggle, he could feel it rising from his loins. "Jesus, Eva ..." he breathed then growled with each pulse as he spilled himself into her. He rolled off her in utter amazement at the intensity of their lovemaking. He pulled her to him.

"I like dat," she murmured.

They both lay there, half dozing, entangled in the fragrant hay.

Liam woke a short time later happy and hungry. They had missed dinner but that was all right. They could go in and find leftovers. Saimi was supposed to have gone to the Finn Hall for a ladies' meeting about _juhannus_ , which was coming in a few short weeks. They went to the _sauna_ to splash off, then went inside.

After a ham on rye sandwich in the cool kitchen, Liam stood up.

"I'll be right back. I want to go get somethin'," he announced. He bounded out the back door. In a few minutes, he came back with a cylindrical document holder.

He sat down at the table. "I'd like ye to see somethin'," he said. "Then tell me what ye think."

"Vhat you haff?" She sat on the edge of her chair.

He pulled out the document from its hard leather casing and spread it out of its tight curl. "See?" he said.

"I can't read Eenliss, Liam."

"I'm sorry. Most of it is in Latin. I'll tell you what it is." He took a breath. "It's a degree from the Royal School for Surgeons in Scotland." He smiled at her. "See, there's my name—William Michael Dady. I went to school to be a doctor."

She looked at him in astonishment. "You are doctor?"

"Yes," he said, beaming with a re-emerging sense of accomplishment.

"Dis mean somptink big, den." She put her hand on his arm. "You take care me and you vere doctor," she exclaimed. She blinked tears away.

He rubbed his nose and teared.

"How vonderful." She looked at him. "Vhat you gonna do now? Dr. Andersen know dis?"

"Andersen doesn't know. I was thinkin' of goin' to him and talkin' with him. I still have my letters of recommendation from my professors. Perhaps this ... I could go somewhere with this now." He studied her face.

"Vell, den. You must go," she said emphatically.

"Will ye come with me for a bit of support?"

"I don't vant to get in vay, it very special time."

"But I want ye to be a part of this. I was meant to do this ... five years ago. I can't think of a reason why ye shouldn't be there."

"I feel so special dat you ask me," she said, her eyes teared as she smiled.

He took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. "I couldn't have done this without ye, Eva. Ye're already a part of this—my life—now." For the first time since he arrived in this town, he was thinking that maybe he could be happy. He had lost hope of feeling this way for so long. He was certainly feeling happy at the present moment. _Can I trust this all the way?_ he asked himself. It made him nervous. Each new step filled him with anxiety as well as joy. A similar mix of emotions began to show on Eva's face. He put the document on the table, reached for her and they held each other, giving and receiving each other's strength.

"I want ye to be with me but I also know that what I need to show Dr. Andersen has to come from me."

~~~

Two weeks later, Liam and Eva sat in Dr. Andersen's office at the hospital. It was the soonest he'd been able to see them. Andersen had been in Brainerd for a week training a group of young doctors. The extra time had allowed Liam to adjust and refocus. He'd continually had to fight visions of Belfast and Edinburgh and Dolly but he'd chosen to remain open to Eva about all of it. There were a few times he'd ended up in her arms sobbing in the middle of the night. Somehow she knew to come to him on the _sauna_ porch, as though she could sense him from her bedroom when he woke from a dream-filled restive sleep. Perhaps it was something she saw in his face or demeanor before he went to bed. They would sleep for a while separately and then she would be there in his bed where he could reach for her in his need.

"Sometimes it's just so strong," he had said. "The loss, when I think of her. I know in my brain she'll never be back."

"I not gonna be Dolly. I am yust Eva,"

"I'm glad ye're Eva. I want ye to be Eva."

"What is vorse tink 'bout Dolly, vhen sees die, Liam?" Eva asked.

He gazed at her hesitating to answer. "Watchin' the life drain out of her," he said in a whisper.

Eva held him fiercely.

~~~

Now, as Liam sat next to Eva across the desk at the interview, he watched Dr. Andersen peruse his paperwork that he had kept all these years.

"I'm very impressed with your credentials and letters of recommendation, Liam. Given the gap in having any kind of practice between your graduation and now, I'd like to have you on staff here if you're willing to work under my tutelage for a time as you rebuild your skills." Dr. Andersen knew of Liam's last five years.

"That's grand, Dr. Andersen. I'm lookin' forward to working with ye."

"I don't mind saying you've made great strides in your recovery. Have you had any incidents since you detoxified?"

"Just one major one. I didn't succumb to it, came close, but Eva ... talked me through it."

Both men looked at Eva. She seemed totally lost by the medical conversation in English but it didn't seem to squelch her excitement. Liam noticed Dr. Andersen studying both of them as if trying to ascertain the relationship.

"Yes, Dr. Andersen. Eva and I are involved," Liam said with certainty. He wanted to get it out in the open.

"I see. And you both seem quite satisfied with that." Dr. Andersen offered a friendly smile. "How soon would you be ready to join us here, Dr. Dady?"

"I'm ready to start any time."

~~~

Eva could hardly keep still in her chair. She had improved her conversational English quite a bit since Liam had come into her life. She didn't understand much of the medical discussion that the two physicians were having but she understood the invitation for Liam to start working as soon as possible.

" _Olen niin ylpeä,_ Liam" she told Dr. Andersen.

The doctor smiled. "She says she's proud of you," he said to Liam. "You should be proud of yourself," he said to Eva. "You brought this man back from a serious illness. And now we have discovered that he is a well-degreed physician."

"Oh, tank you, Dr. Andersen." Eva stood up and almost fainted.

Liam, who stood up at the same time, took hold of her arm, sat her back down, and made her stop hyperventilating. When she came around again, Liam looked at her with concern and amusement. "Are ye all right?" he asked her.

"Yes. I'm yust so happy." She was still shaking. Andersen's secretary brought her a drink of water. She drank the water and declared herself ready to walk.

~~~

Liam and Eva were in the hall about to leave, when Dr. Andersen rejoined them. "Liam, come back in for a few moments," he said. "Eva, if you'll excuse us for just one minute."

"I vait here," Eva said.

Dr. Andersen showed Liam back into his office and shut the door. "Liam, you know Eva's with child," he said.

"What?"

"Something tells me you two have been ..."

"Since early May," Liam confessed in a murmur. "How do you know?"

"I haven't practiced for thirty years without developing an eye for pregnancy. I can spot a pregnant woman a mile away."

"Oh ..."

"Are you surprised?" Andersen's sardonic humor did not diminish his professionalism.

"I shouldn't be, should I? I'm embarrassed to say we've ... many times ..."

"She's very early. We'll wait until she shows morning sickness before we know I'm completely correct on this."

~~~

Pleased and relieved by the job offer, Liam took Eva to Murphy's across the street from the hospital. Liam decided not to tell Eva of his and Andersen's talk. They sat down at a window table. Ed Murphy came out from the kitchen and took their order.

"Liam. It's nice to see ye," he said with a big smile. "What can I get yez," he asked approaching them from behind the lunch counter.

"Two root beer floats, Ed. Thanks," Liam said.

As Ed was preparing the floats behind the counter, Eva said to Liam, "Somptink bodder you?"

He searched her eyes. "I'm feeling overwhelmed. Everythin's changin' quite rapidly. It's unexpected. I need to sit with it for a while." He took her hand and squeezed affectionately. "I'll be fine." What Dr. Andersen said to him earlier about a possible pregnancy was the culprit. It's not that he didn't want Eva to get pregnant ... _I foolishly didn't expect it. It's easy to go into denial when there's too many things that are hard to own up to, or let go._

"I know you vill." She squeezed his hand back.

Ed brought the floats to the table.

"Ed Murphy, may I introduce you to Mrs. Eva Mattson," Liam said. "Eva, this is Mr. Edward Murphy."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Murphy." Eva rolled the two r's.

"It is my pleasure, Mrs. Mattson," Ed said. She extended her hand to shake, but Ed kissed her knuckles.

"This is where I came to stay when I left the boarding house," Liam explained to Eva.

"You two talk same," she said.

"We're both from Ireland, but Ed's from Dublin, not Belfast." He motioned for Ed to sit down with them.

"What's the matter with us that we have come to the North American Boreal Forest to live?" Ed quipped.

Both Irishmen laughed.

As they talked, Eva slurped the last bit of soda from the bottom of the glass with her straw. She looked up at both of them and blushed. She smiled sweetly with the straw between her lips.

Murphy looked at Liam good naturedly and asked, "Where did ye find this sweetheart?"

"At the end of a hard, long road," Liam said. He smiled at Eva and squeezed her hand. _Jesus, God, she's glowin'._ Liam could not believe his eyes. Her cheeks were rosy and she looked robust. She had filled out in the last months. "She's proprietor of Mattson's Boarding House down near the train station. It's where I was convalescin' before I stayed with ye."

"Yes, I remember," Ed said. He nodded at Eva. "It was yer husband's funeral he went to."

"Liam, you don't tell me you go." Eva said. Her face registered both surprise and appreciation.

Liam looked at Ed, who gave him a shrug for an apology. "I felt bad when I found the notice in the newspaper," he said to Eva. "I stayed in the back. I thought if ye saw me it would've been too much, considerin'."

"He was very concerned for ye, Mrs. Mattson, and may I extend my belated condolences."

"Tank you, Mr. Murphy."

Liam thought it was time to change the subject. "Next time we come here we have to bring Ellen. She'll enjoy the treat."

"Who's Ellen?" Mr. Murphy asked.

"My lil girl. Sees nine years old." Eva was gaining confidence in her English usage.

This growth in Eva did not go unnoticed by Liam.

~~~

When they returned, Eva and Liam found the house quiet. It was late morning. Eva was so pleased Liam did so well at his interview. _He's going to practice medicine. I can't believe it._ Saimi wasn't there, probably visiting a friend after completing the morning chores. They stood in the kitchen. Their eyes locked.

"Nobody's home."

"Vhat you wanna do?"

"I can think of ten things I should do but there's only one thing I want to do." Liam walked up to her. With his eyes still on hers his fingers went to the buttons on her blouse.

"Ve go to bed?"

"That's my intention unless ye have somthin' more pressin'."

"Vhat pressin'?"

"More important."

"Notink pressin'. Yust you."

He smiled, cupped her cheeks in his hands, and kissed her. "Come, Eva. I want ye."

In the bedroom he resumed taking her clothes off. She laughed and began to help him.

"You go too slow. I vant you ... so fast ..."

He laughed and took his trousers off and pulled his dress shirt off, throwing it on the floor.

"Liam, come to me qvick," she said as she scooted on the bed to the middle. She left her stockings and garters on.

He climbed in between her legs, she helped him in.

"Was that qvick enough?" he asked grinning.

She laughed at the tease. Her hands went to her breasts and kneaded them, moaning.

"Jesus," Liam breathed. He moved with purpose.

"I like ..." she whimpered.

His hands went to her buttocks. "I can't get deep enough." Another half-dozen thrusts brought him crashing into pure pleasure. He growled into Eva's ear. He could hear her. She shuddered and went limp. He lay half off her. They gazed at each other and smiled. Tears started to well in Eva's.

"Why are ye cryin'?" Liam asked her.

"I so happy ... for you."

They held each other by wrapping their bodies together. Eva thought Liam was especially tender and loving. He was staring at her as if he ... she couldn't understand it, but she did not say anything.

"I like more," she said, climbing on top of him.

He began to pay attention to her breasts.

"I can tell you like my breast. You like to kiss dem." She held them in her hands.

"Don't you like it?"

"I like it," she replied. A shiver went down her spine in response to his tongue flicking her nipple. "See. It make me viggle." She moved her exposed pelvis.

He took a deep, uneven breath. "May I put my tongue somewhere else? It may make you viggle even more."

She caught the little tease at her pronunciation and giggled.

"I vant you to." She lay completely exposed to him.

He shifted on the bed and began. She trembled and whimpered in pleasure. Her movements roused him when he pushed his tongue harder into her. She moaned loudly in her release. Then he entered her fast. His orgasm wracked his body.

With her senses returning, Eva spoke, her words muffled by his chest. "Vhy ve so ... need sex?" She could not find the English words easily.

"Perhaps we've been so sad for so long and now that we are allowing someone close to our hearts, we're makin' up for lost time." He pulled her face to his and kissed her tenderly. "Besides, we do it because it feels good."

She suddenly felt herself veer from her intimacy with him. "I tink 'bout Victor every day and tink maybe in Finland he haff more vomen. He go lotta times to Niemi's. Sally vas dere. Many times he go, nobody know vhere." She got a sick feeling in her belly. "Maybe he never luff me, so I make luff to you. I do vhat he do to me—cheat. He had friend Olga ..." She pushed that out of her mind.

Eva could feel Liam search under the sheet for her hand and clasp it. "I know he loved ye. Some men can't get enough from just one woman. Not love. The sex. Maybe it was excitin' for him to go behind yer back. If it makes ye feel better to have sex with me, then good." He pulled her closer. "It's not cheatin', though."

"I know. Hees gone." Eva lay silent for a while. She remembered Eino. _I am not telling Liam about that yet._ She pushed into Liam. "He luff me?"

"I'm sure he did. Remember, he was ready to fight me for ye. Perhaps when he married he was so in love with ye that he thought the marriage would keep him from strayin', if he had been doin' that. So perhaps he tried to be faithful."

"After he got yob at Mesabi, everytink go bad." Then she realized something. "No, he vas gone all day even before Mesabi." She pulled away from Liam, shooting up out of bed. She grabbed the pictures of Victor on her dresser and placed them face down. "I hate Victor," she said.

"Eva, remember what ..."

"Don't tell me any tink."

~~~

Liam watched as the blissful expression he'd seen on her face just moments ago disappear. He moved to the edge of the bed as Eva cleaned herself and got dressed. It appeared that Eva's joy in their love-making had been obliterated by the revelation about her dead husband.

Liam could do nothing to save her from going through this. Nothing he could say would ease her mind. His belly felt queasy and his heart ached for her. He decided not to say anything more. She wouldn't hear it now. As he dressed, he didn't know how to prepare for what was to come next. The fuse was lit.

For the rest of the afternoon, the only attention Eva gave to her surroundings was to Ellen when she came home from school. Later, Ellen sought out Liam. They went to the front porch to talk.

"Why is Mamma _sovihainen_ —angry?"

"Remember on the mornin' we fished, ye told me a wee bit about yer Pappa and his hurtin' yer Mamma's feelin's?"

"I understand," Ellen said.

"Yer Mamma is letting it come out now and not hiding it inside her mind. It's bubblin' over like a boilin' pot. She's got to go through it. We just need to be here for her."

"Right."

Liam studied Ellen. "I think ye know more." _It was her beloved Pappa. She had to have known of his ... perhaps more than her mother. Jesus, Victor._

Ellen averted her eyes, turned, and went back inside.

Liam followed Ellen to the kitchen where she took her spot next to her mother. It broke Liam's heart to see Eva's anguish and to see Ellen responsibly stepping in to be her mother's guardian. He didn't know what else to do so he set the kitchen table for supper. He didn't want to leave either of them alone.

~~~

With supper over and clean-up completed, Liam, Ellen, and Saimi went into the parlor to relax. All three kept a watchful eye on Eva, who seemed to be barely containing her agitation. Liam knew that Ellen's calming effects would disappear as soon as she went to bed at eight o'clock.

Fifteen minutes after reading with Liam, Ellen said good-night. Eva tucked her in, then closed Ellen's door. From the parlor, Saimi and Liam could hear some sort of activity in the kitchen. Liam glanced at Saimi who looked as clueless as he felt. A minute or two later, Eva came walking through the foyer and promptly stomped out the front door unkempt and improperly attired for an evening out. The door slammed behind her.

"Vhat sees do?" Saimi asked.

"I haven't a clue, Saimi."

Ellen ran out to the foyer from her bedroom and was about to go out the door in her nightgown.

"Ellen, stop. I'll go," Liam said. "Yer Mamma may have some business to take care of. I'll bring her back when it's done."

Ellen ran to him as he got up from his chair. He caught her. Her embrace said, "I'm going to trust you, Liam." _Ellen is just as affected as Eva,_ Liam thought. She ran to Saimi as he went out the door.

When he got to the sidewalk, he saw Eva walking up Main Street towards town, hell bent for somewhere. "Where are ye goin', Eva?" he murmured. "What's down there? Oh, Christ. The tavern and it's a Friday night." _Jesus,_ he thought. He knew he'd better get there fast. He started to run as he saw Eva go inside.

~~~

When Eva burst through the door and slammed it shut, all of the patrons of the derelict Main Street Tavern looked up. The place went dead silent.

"Vat womans here sleep vit my husband, Victor Mattson?" Eva hollered in anger. "I am Eva Mattson, his vife. You and Victor break my home and hurt my daughter, Victor's daughter. You should be shame! Victor vas shame before hees die. You say sorry to my lil girl!"

She had nothing further to say. Her heart was racing and her mouth was dry. She felt gentle hands on her shoulders from behind.

"Come, Eva. It's all over. Ye're a good girl," Liam whispered in her ear.

As they left, he noticed the entire bar patronage was silent and all eyes were on her. Some women had looks of regret. He didn't know if Eva had seen that.

Eva walked in dead silence all the way home with Liam physically supporting her. She stopped once and vomited in someone's hedgerow. When they walked in through the front door, he asked Saimi to get Eva's bathrobe from her bedroom door. Ellen came out of her bedroom.

"It's all over, Ellen," Liam said. "I'm goin' to give her a hot bath. She's safe. You can go to bed now, darlin'."

"Mamma, _minä rakastan sinua_." _I love you_ , Ellen said, coming to give her mother a hug.

"I luff you, too," Eva said, bending to kiss Ellen on her forehead. "I be all right."

Ellen retreated to her room.

When Saimi returned with the robe, Liam took Eva to the bathroom upstairs and ran a hot bath. While the tub filled he undressed her, took her hastily piled-up hair down, and put her in the hot, soothing water. He kissed her softly. "It's all better now," he cooed. "Ye're a strong girl, Eva. I'm proud of ye for standin' up to all of them."

She gazed into his eyes, tears streaming down her face.

"It's a relief, isn't it?" he asked her.

He kept her in the tub for a long time, letting the hot water calm her. He would've taken her to the _sauna_ , but it was cold on a Friday. He felt she needed the warmth to ease the anger and agitation she had nursed all afternoon, not to mention the verbal explosion at those she believed were complicit in Victor's infidelity. Suddenly Eva dunked her head under the water and came back up, which Liam took as a sign that she was thawing, releasing her consuming anger at Victor and his accomplices. She finally made meaningful eye contact with Liam. She looked exhausted.

"You vass my hair?" she said, her voice hoarse and squeaky from her outburst.

"Of course," he said with a half-breath of relief.

She continued to grow more relaxed as he scrubbed her head softly. He imagined her anger melting away. The hurt, however, would take more time. He knew her heart ached. "My love," he said, "ye can't let anyone or anythin' ever keep ye from bein' happy again. Not Victor, not his unfaithfulness, not his death, and certainly not any of the women who helped Victor cheat on ye. Take yer strength back, Eva. Don't give it away to them anymore. Tonight, ye took a big step in takin' it back, and I'm proud of ye." He finished washing her hair.

She slid down into the water and stared up at him while he rinsed her hair. She looked like she had just climbed her own emotional Mt. Everest. Her eyes showed the exhaustion but also a strong glimmer of relief.

When the bath was finished, he took her into the kitchen and fixed her a glass of warm milk to help her sleep.

~~~

That night, Liam stayed with Eva, his body wrapped around hers. He could hear the nocturnal sounds of peepers and crickets that signaled warmer weather. Far away, a dog barked. He could make out her light hair splayed over her back and shoulders, wavy with ringlets at the ends freshly washed. Her breathing was deep and even.

In the wee hours, he wept silently as he remembered the words he'd said to Eva about taking her strength back, that not even the death of loved ones should stop her—or him from being happy again.

~~~

Eva dreamed of Victor. He looked as handsome as he always had. He smiled the disarming smile he used when he wanted something. In the dream, Eva looked to her right. Liam was at her side dressed in a formal suit. Suddenly, the surroundings turned from the lake house into a church. There were white wild roses in vines covering the church walls and pews. She looked down and her familiar farm clothes turned into a beautiful ivory wedding dress. Victor was the pastor and he was standing at the altar preparing to marry Liam and Eva. As Liam kissed Eva, Victor seemed pleased. He handed Liam a gold ring from the pages of the Bible he held, and Liam put it on Eva's finger.

Eva woke to Liam sleeping peacefully next to her. She rolled to face him. He stirred from her movement, seemingly still vigilant. He opened his eyes.

"I am happy you here," she whispered.

"I'm happy I'm here," he croaked. They lay looking at each other for quite some time.

"Victor come to me, my dream."

"What did he do?"

"He come and marry us in church covered vit vild roses. He vas verdy happy and he gave you gold ring to put on my finger."

Liam smiled softly and put his hand on her cheek.

"Dat don't scare you?" she asked.

"No," he said. He knew it was in their future because of the child she was carrying.

She said nothing more as they moved closer and held each other.

~~~

The next morning, Liam went to work for Dr. Andersen as a physician. At lunch, Liam had a chance to fill Dr. Andersen in about the incident the night before and the turning of the corner for Eva.

"She's making progress," Dr. Andersen said. "Unfortunately, to get 'home,' there oftentimes is a wicked, cruel road to travel."

"Don't I know it," Liam said.

Liam came home that evening with a few textbooks from Dr. Andersen to refresh his medical knowledge. Ellen was fascinated. She too, pored over them that night, especially the anatomy book. After supper, the three of them sat comfortably in Eva's bedroom. Liam liked the cozy privacy it afforded since he and Eva were not officially man and wife but were behaving as if they were. He was reading the book on Medical Diagnoses. He looked up from the text.

"Dr. Andersen recommends I become naturalized as soon as possible," he said. "It's done in Duluth. I just need to apply with the appropriate documents. I can get them at the town hall here. Then we can go to the ceremony, probably in mid-July."

"We went there, Mamma, is that right?" Ellen asked.

"Yes, ve go."

### Chapter 10

It was just past dawn on the morning of _juhannus_. Eva was sponge bathing in the _sauna_. She had come to Liam on the summer porch a few hours earlier and took special care to be quiet so she wouldn't wake him. The galvanized buckets used for washing could clang loudly, so she took care as she moved them about. Her sleep had been restive earlier that morning so she'd lain watching Liam. _He's such a handsome man,_ she'd thought. _He looks so sweet when he sleeps._ But finally she absolutely had to slip on her robe and go to the privy. From there she'd gone to the _sauna_. She felt butterflies in her belly as she thought of Liam and how he gained so much pleasure making love to her _._ While he loved the climax from sex, he was so much more attentive to her than her first lover and got so much joy from her pleasure. _Victor had seemed more Victor-centered. He satisfied me but it was always after him. Liam is different with that. He takes me along with him._

Her thoughts turned to a more urgent matter. She hadn't gotten her monthly since mid-April and it was the third week in June. _I'm afraid to tell him. What if he leaves?_

She sat on the lower bench with her washcloth. Without warning, an overwhelming feeling of nausea came over her. " _Ei taas_ ," she said. _Not again_. It had happened the morning before when she had gone to the privy. The morning before that, it had happened after she went upstairs to dust mop, causing her to rush to the toilet in the upstairs bathroom. She pushed open the back door of the _sauna_ that opened to a six-foot-high, fenced-in private patio. In her rush, the door slammed into the building. Eva ran to a bucket next to the fence and promptly began to heave her guts.

~~~

Liam woke with a start from a loud bang. He sat up and tried to blink away the blurry clouds in his eyes. He heard the retching and got up to see. He found Eva leaning over a bucket holding her hair out of the way. Naked like Eva he walked from the summer porch door to the patio.

"Are ye ill, Eva?" he asked.

"No," she said, shaking and white-faced. She leaned a hand on the privacy fence. "It happen tree early morninks now."

"Is it what I think it is?"

"I tink so," she said. "I haff no mont-ly two times."

"I know. It's all right," he murmured. He walked to her and took her in his arms. "It'll be all right, sweetheart."

"I vas fright to tell you."

"When ye swooned at Dr. Andersen's he saw it in ye. That's what he told me when he called me back in and asked ye to wait."

"Vhy don't you tell me?"

"I'm not sure. Perhaps I was scared. Remember at Murphy's ye asked what the matter was?"

"Yes."

"You thought I was feelin' worried about the new job."

He assisted her back to the _sauna_. He sat her down, wet a cloth, and wiped her pale face. He took the dipping ladle and gave her a drink from the cold tap that fed the _sauna_ its water.

He touched her belly with his fingertips. "That took no time at all," he said. "Perhaps it happened the first time. Even if it wasn't the first time, we shouldn't be surprised. We haven't stopped since."

"You are vordied, Liam?"

"I'm a little worried," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She looked up at him. He felt hesitant to continue, but eventually it came out. "I never told ye that when Dolly died, she was nearly seven months pregnant."

She seemed shocked at his confession. She pulled him close to her carefully as if he would break. She pulled his head to her shoulder. "I so sordy, Liam." She began to cry. He felt her emotions spilling out of her, no doubt combined with their mutual discovery of her pregnancy. It was his turn to comfort her.

"You don't vant baby, maybe," she said. "You too fright. Ve can't take it back."

He thought she was starting to have a moment of panic. "Shh, darlin'. Shh." He took her in his lap and rocked her. She calmed after a few moments, much the way she did those first few days he came to stay. He spoke into her hair.

"Don't ever think that I don't want ye to have a baby," he said. "I've been thinkin' about it since Dr. Andersen told me."

She looked up at his eyes as if to study him.

"I see how ye are with Ellen," he said. "Ye're a grand mamma to her. I'd be lyin' if I told ye I wasn't a little scared." He took his thumb and softly wiped her tears.

They sat in the _sauna_ for many tender minutes. Feeling calmer himself, Liam took a deep breath. "How's yer belly? Better?"

"I fine now."

He smiled at her as they stood to finish washing.

"Vhat you smile at?" she asked.

"I'm feelin' manly and proud."

She averted her eyes and blushed.

~~~

Later that morning, Eva and Ellen dressed in their Rauma regional costumes that Victor had bought them. Liam thought Ellen was especially adorable, _Eva in miniature,_ he thought, with her head wreath streaming with long blue and white ribbons.

At the Virginia Finnish Social Hall and grounds, Saimi brought Liam and Eva to all her friends. She explained before they left the house, "I gonna get you to know people so you don't get part of gossip. Dey gonna know you as nice man."

She introduced him as The Irishman. He'd never traveled except to France, but at least he'd known some French. He was at a loss with the Finns and was feeling a little unnerved. _I can't go around saying the Finnish words for bread or butter or milk._ As they walked around the hall, Saimi would say a number of Finnish words and then in English she would say "Irishman," with a heavy inflection. Many of the young women stared at Liam with a bit of flirting and, sometimes, barely hidden lust.

"You didn't like that one woman," Liam said to Eva.

She glanced at him grimly and did not answer. He took it to mean it was one of Victor's possible liaisons.

They followed Saimi to the next group of people. Liam got the impression the Finnish Community was happy for Eva, glad that she was not alone. Most welcomed him amiably and seemed impressed that he was a doctor. Many of the men Liam was introduced to worked either at the Mesabi mine or in the forests as lumberjacks. All of them had known Victor. This was the first time since Victor's death that Eva was out and about. Most people were just so happy to see her that they didn't mind seeing her with someone new and who was not a Finn. It occurred to Liam, at one point, that some of these mine workers must've known about Victor's wild behavior in the taverns and with the women. Perhaps some of the women here were complicit in his dalliances. He noticed the ones who steered clear of Eva. Liam was glad Eva did not seem to notice.

~~~

Although Eva felt self-conscious because of her failed marriage with Victor and her arrival at the Hall with a new man only a half-year after Victor's death, she stood up well to the onslaught of well-wishers. She knew her community cared for her and most likely many of them had heard of Victor's straying. _Show some Suomi Sisu_ , that resolve and guts, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath and let it out. She wondered if any of the community had admonished Victor. _Will they admonish me when they find out I'm unmarried and pregnant with another man's baby six months from my first husband's death?_ She sighed again with that thought. Her belly churned.

The new couple got separated for a time after she went to the ladies' room in the hall. Eva took a quick scan of the large social hall but she could not see Liam. It should have been easy to spot him; his dark hair would stand out in a sea of towheads. She went to get a mug of coffee and something sweet to eat at the coffee table in the hall, choosing the sweetest whipped cream-filled pastry she could find. With her mug of coffee and handful of pastry, she set out to find Liam.

Exiting the hall, Eva saw that many people had arrived already. Watching all the women and men donned in their regional costumes gave her a pang of homesickness. She wondered if her family had gone to Rauma for their _juhannus_. She walked past the tables of artisanal products—from rag rugs and runners to knitted hats to woven birch-bark baskets to Rauma lace. Seeing the lace gave her another pang in her heart, thinking of her mother and Mamma Mattson. She sighed. to write to the Mattsons that their beloved eldest son had died and why, was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to do. She had no idea how she'd gotten through writing it. Saimi had been a tremendous help.

Eventually Eva found Liam standing near the bonfire. He had a bevy of young women around him. They were giggling and flirting as he chatted with them. Eva could hear herself growl as she made her way to him. _They don't learn anything those stupid women._ She involuntarily squeezed the pastry, making the cream run through her fingers.

Upon seeing her, Liam chirped, "Oh, there ye are Eva, I couldn't find ye. All you women have blonde hair and have the same clothes on. So, I decided to stand here and wait for ye to find me."

She stopped, stood by him, and said nothing. She did not greet him in a friendly way.

"I know what this may look like," he said. "I assure ye, it is not what ye think."

Eva, with her coffee and pastry, turned to the chattering she-beasts now silent with her presence, and tersely addressed them in Finnish. Some of her addressees blanched, and some reddened, but all of them promptly walked away.

Feeling quite satisfied, Eva turned back to Liam. "I take my power back," she said, her Finnish inflection strong.

"They must've heard of yer visit to the tavern and just had a wee taste of it."

Giving him a sideward glance, she burst into giggles. She tried very hard to stop, but she looked at Liam, who was also quite amused with what he'd said, and couldn't.

"Seeyut up you mout, Liam," she said in her worst English.

"What's that ye say?" he said in his strongest Belfast lilt. He put his hand up and shrugged.

She belly-laughed. "Open you mout," she said.

"Ye just told me to shut it."

"Open, please," she said again.

He did, and she put her half-eaten, cream-filled pastry into it and pushed. They both hooted like lunatics as Liam stood there, cream-covered and barely managing the mouthful. The crowd passed by, all gaping wide-eyed at the child-like antics.

~~~

There was a nice variety of music, dancing, singing, and plays throughout the day. Ellen and her dance group performed first while Liam and Eva watched. Then Ellen sang in a children's choir from church. As Eva heard them sing, she realized she missed church. She had not attended for a long time. When the choir sang, Eva cried at the performance of the mostly first-generation Finnish-Americans singing the nostalgic songs from the Old Country. Ellen was not first generation. She was a true immigrant. Liam put his arm around Eva and wiped her tears with his kerchief.

"I was noticin' that Finnish music is not that much different from Irish. I enjoy hearin' the music you grew up with."

~~~

At dinnertime, Liam and Eva were standing with the Huttunens and talking with Saimi when with no warning, Eva fainted. She hit the ground with a thud.

"Jesus, Eva!" Liam knelt to revive her. Someone came with a cup of cool water from the hall. Liam helped her to stand. They walked to the side porch of the hall. "Sit here in the shade while I get ye a bite to eat. Ye've had nothin' since the pastry." He found her a bench. "I'll bring a wet napkin to wipe the dirt from yer face."

He went to find sustenance for his pregnant—he wanted to say wife but he couldn't. He could use the word 'intended,' but she wasn't even that yet. "Jesus," he sighed on his way to a food table. He took two plates and loaded them with some of the many choices. The young woman helping at the table smiled more than amiably at him, casting her line. He smiled cordially but made sure she got the impression he was not biting. _Victor, the cad, was probably in heaven comin' to these events. There are plenty of pretty women. He most likely snuck off when Eva was talking with other people. It was probably easy to do that. He could get a lot accomplished in a few minutes,_ Liam thought. He looked around and determined how easy it would be to get lost in a big crowd like this. Now, after paying, Liam picked up the two filled plates and thanked the woman. _Oh, aye, it would've been easy enough ... poor Eva. Well, if she'll have me, she'll be mine alone. And I sure as hell am no Victor._ He grabbed two napkins and forks from the table and headed back.

~~~

While Eva waited in the shade for Liam and the food, she saw Saimi walk toward her. She didn't realize how hungry she was. Saimi sat down next to her on the bench and took her hand.

"Are you going to be all right?" Saimi asked in Finnish.

"Yes, thank you."

"I'm telling Liam to take you home."

"Maybe, but—"

"Are Liam and you going to marry now that you are vit child?" Saimi spoke quietly.

Eva looked at her in astonishment. "You are just like my mother when Victor and I got pregnant," Eva spoke softly in Finnish. "I couldn't hide anything from her."

Saimi smiled with kind understanding.

Liam came back with an array of Finnish entrées on two plates, including pickled herring, salmon-beet salad, meatballs, and rye bread and butter. "I didn't know what ye wanted so I got a few things. I'll help ye eat it." He and Saimi looked at each other for several moments. Liam took a deep breath and let it out. "Ye must know."

"Vomen yust don't faint for notink." Saimi's face softened but she still looked concerned.

"We just found out this morning," Liam explained, "so we've discussed nothin' yet."

"Maybe you take her home. See still look pale. See could get her feet up."

"Vhat 'bout Ellen?" Eva said.

"I take care her. Here see is now."

Ellen ran up to them. "Mamma, somebody said you fell down. Are you all right?"

"Yes, honey."

"Is the baby all right?"

The three adults, dumbfounded, looked at Ellen. Eva and Liam looked at each other and at the same time blurted out, "I said nothing."

"I know everytink. I heard you puke. The children at school say they know their mammas are pregnant when they start puking," Ellen said confidently. "Saimi can vatch me and I'll come home vit her. You take Mamma home, Liam." Ellen hugged her mother. Turning back into a nine-year-old again, she ran off with her friend Katia. A multitude of colorful ribbons flowed from their hair in the breeze. "Let's go find Arvid," Ellen said to Katia.

~~~

At home, there were lemons to make lemonade. Liam was relieved to get Eva home. She seemed fine now and just in need of something to eat. Liam squeezed the lemons while Eva readied the pitcher with water and sugar. He inhaled the tangy freshness when he poured the juice into the pitcher. He chipped some ice from the icebox and added it to their glasses. She suggested they sit on the front porch. The sun was still high and hot, but they found a patch of cooler shade for the rockers at the east end of the porch.

"I got my paperwork back from the government," he said, remembering. "I went through the hospital mail to speed things up, and I have a spot in the naturalization ceremony this Wednesday in Duluth. Andersen's givin' me the day off. I was going to tell you this morning but that news got sidetracked by something a little more important." He took Eva's hand and looked in her eyes. "I think it would be grand altogether if you and I and Ellen made a day of it. Would ye like to come with me?"

"I luff to go. I tink it grand, too," she said. She smiled at him.

"I enjoyed how ye rolled that 'r'," he teased her.

"You vant Ellen to come, too?" Eva asked with raised eyebrows. "Sees still mix up 'bout you. It maybe get bad now, new baby vit new man."

"I risk the chance of losin' the ground we've made together if I don't include her. I think she's gonna be fine in the long run. I don't want to give up."

"You have kind heart in you, like angel," Eva said. She picked up Liam's hand and kissed it.

He smiled. "I don't feel like an angel and it doesn't take one to get along with Ellen. She's fightin' to keep her father's memory. She knows I love you now and it scares her. I don't blame her."

They sat quietly rocking and sipping their lemonades.

"I like yust sittink vit you bedder den sex," Eva said.

He looked at her and laughed. "Is that a compliment?"

She giggled at herself. "My Eenliss is terdible. I mean I like you all a time."

"I can say for certain that your 'Eenliss' has improved greatly since we met."

"You not yokink me?" She appeared uncertain.

Feigning insult, he said, "I would never yoke with you."

She didn't answer. She just punched him playfully in the arm.

"Eva, I love every part of you," he said, rubbing the spot she hit, "including your 'Eenliss.' It's very endearing. That means it's a part of you that makes you sweet and dear."

She smiled. "Den, tank you." She leaned her head on the head rest and rocked back and forth, seeming content.

~~~

On Wednesday morning Liam and Eva, with a very excited Ellen in tow, caught the nine o'clock train bound for Duluth. The naturalization ceremony was scheduled for one o'clock. Ellen was beside herself with joy over traveling on the train. She bounded up the passenger car steps like a deer.

"Liam, you are so handsome in your summer suit," Ellen said as the three found a seat and settled in for the ride to Duluth. "Mamma, you are verdy pretty. I heard you throw up this morning."

"Be quiet," Eva admonished her. She spoke in Finnish. "You cannot chatter about that on the train. It's very private." The train left the station, chugging. "I know you are excited, but you must be private."

"I don't know vhy you are doing ... dat ... in the morning," Ellen whispered into Eva's ear.

"Doing what? I tell you at home."

"Ve yust left. How am I gonna vait dat lonk now?" While she was quite Americanized, Ellen always spoke to her mother in either full Finnish or the immigrant-Finn's mixed language "Finglish."

Eva spoke in Finn again, under the din of the passengers, "You stop now!" But Eva, who was in high spirits, could not stay perturbed with Ellen for long. She tried to hold back a smile, but couldn't, especially when Ellen sported a ridiculous toothy grin.

~~~

Liam watched Ellen and Eva in covert amusement during their back and forth, marveling at Ellen's intelligence and quick wit _. She's nine now,_ he thought. _What will she be like at eighteen?_ He didn't want to think about it. He was still amazed and a wee bit intimidated at suddenly attempting some degree of parenthood. He felt like he was continually walking on eggshells.

Eva and Liam sat in the forward-facing seat cuddled up and cozy, at least as far as decorum in public would allow. Liam felt dozy as the rocking movement of the train lulled him. The heat of the July day didn't help with comfort but it did not affect his general disposition. He felt his life was moving in a good direction. The big stickler now was Sheridan McKay, the fight syndicate boss he ran from, whom he knew was not one to let go a grudge. Liam still surreptitiously scouted the street whenever he ventured from home or the hospital. He knew he probably should tell Ed Murphy. Liam had a feeling Ed would have an idea of what to do. Through his friendship with Patrick O'Brien, Liam knew of the Irish Catholics' propensity to be of service to one another overtly or otherwise. This certainly was the case in Ireland where the group lived under duress from the government and was treated like second-class citizens by the Brits and the pro-Brit Protestants. Even if they didn't belong to any of the anti-British political groups, the vast majority of Irish were strong supporters of Home Rule.

Ellen got up from her seat and moved about the passenger car. "There are a lot of trees over here, too, like our town," Ellen blurted from six rows up. She hopped to the other side of the car. "Look, Mamma, another farm. How many cows are there? A hundred at least," she said with amazement. "See the people vavink? Hello, people!" she yelled, vigorously waving back. She spent the next several minutes bouncing from empty seat to empty seat to see all that she could.

When she made her way to the seat facing Liam and Eva, Ellen miraculously sat still for several moments, intently studying her mother and Liam. Eva looked at her with scolding eyes and affection. Liam looked at her with subdued hilarity. Watching her face, he could see her brain buzzing like electric lines along the street.

"What are ye thinkin' about, Ellen?" he asked.

"Are you and Mamma getting married now that you are hav— "

"Ellen!" Eva barked under her breath. She spoke in Finnish once again, scolding her daughter for not listening. "I said to keep quiet about that!"

"Look at you two. You are smashed togedder. Dere's not even room for a piece of paper right dere." Ellen pointed to the lack of space between their arms and thighs.

When Ellen stopped talking, the passengers in the car were silent. Previously, their chatter had been constant background noise. Liam looked at Eva. She was crimson from the neck up. He did not dare look at the other passengers.

As Eva looked at her grinning, impetuous child she began to titter. It grew to an uncontrollable giggle. Liam looked at Eva, embarrassed that she, too, was drawing unneeded attention. Eva pulled out her handkerchief to wipe her tears and blow her nose.

~~~

It was a long ride to Duluth for Eva, but not because of the distance. At their arrival, Ellen ran ahead and bounded off the train like an antelope. Liam grabbed their lunch bag from the overhead rack and he and Eva went into the lunch room at the station. Ellen soon followed.

"Perhaps a full stomach will settle ye," Liam said to Ellen. They found a table with a shaded window and an awning. "I'll get some drinks. Coffee, Eva?"

"I like root beer float."

"Me, too," Ellen said enthusiastically, licking her lips. "Please," she added when Eva stared at her.

"Two root beer floats and one coffee it is." Liam walked to the counter.

Eva turned to her daughter. "Ellen, I want you to behave when we are at the ceremony. This is special for Liam. Do you understand me?" Eva spoke in Finnish and gave her daughter another serious gaze. "I still want you to have fun. Just don't be such a _Villi Ruusu_."

"You are not happy with me, I can tell, Mamma," Ellen responded in Finnish. "When you call me _villi ruusu_ like that, you think I'm being naughty."

"You are a smart girl, Ellen."

"Mamma, I'm sorry. I will be good for the ceremony."

Liam returned with three root beer floats. He looked from mother to daughter, then back to Eva. Ellen's wide eyes zeroed in on the float in front of her. Eva's eyes said "She's under control, finally." Liam gave her a half smile, unseen by Ellen. At least Eva hoped so.

"Have ye been in Duluth before, Ellen?" Liam asked.

"Vhen I vas liddle. Ve came here to have dis ... vhat you are doink today. I tink I vas four." Ellen looked at her mother for clarification.

Eva nodded her head as she inhaled her root beer float in near ecstasy. Liam passed out the ham sandwiches Saimi had made.

There was still time before the ceremony after lunch, so they went for a walk.

"This town is a port for the iron ore that comes from Mesabi and the lumber from up north," Liam said as they walked down to the docks. "The train tracks go right down to the water so the cars can load ore onto giant barges to travel Lake Superior and the other Great Lakes. Then it goes to points east and the steel mills of eastern Ohio and western Pennsylvania. I think much of the lumber still goes west for expandin' towns and cities to build houses and such."

They continued walking to the docks to see the iron ore barges.

"Look, sign at tavern," Eva said in English. "Dat says 'fiss boil.' It smells good!" The air was permeated with wood smoke and cooking fish. "I tink dey cook outside on open fire."

"Let's come down later for a meal before we go back home," Liam suggested.

"Dis is a big lake," Ellen said, her eyes wide. "My teacher says it is called 'Gitchee Goomy' by the Indians. Dat's funny, isn't it?" Ellen laughed at herself, then grasped Eva's hand as they headed back to the city hall.

~~~

It was ten 'til one when Liam, Eva, and Ellen arrived at the city courthouse. Liam felt a little nervous. He didn't know what to expect. It was a milestone in his life, taking on a new country and way of life. They walked through the heavy double doors and followed the posted arrows to a large room that looked to be an auditorium, most likely for city hall meetings. The double-folding wooden auditorium chairs were lined up around the walls. A few rows were set up in the front center for the citizen candidates to sit. A podium and several chairs were set up on the raised platform used as a stage.

"I remember ve vere here, yust like dis," Eva told Liam. "I didn't know vhat anybody vas sayink. Ve took lil test 'bout America before and sent in a mail. Den ve come here."

"I had to do the same thing," Liam said.

"Ve took Eenliss test, too. Not you, I know."

As Liam took her hand, he noticed her turning inward. He watched her for many moments. "Eva, where'd ye go? Are ye back ... there again?"

She looked deep into his eyes, back into the present. "Yes. I vas remember being here. But I not gonna talk. Dis you day."

A man on the stage said that the ceremony was about to commence.

"I guess that means me," Liam said. He squeezed Eva's hand and winked at Ellen. He took his place with two dozen other inductees from the region. Ellen and Eva sat on the side where he could see them. Liam smiled at a well-behaved Ellen, who kneeled on her chair to see Liam better.

Two government representatives gave short speeches welcoming the candidates. They impressed on the inductees what an important step the candidates were taking and what a special privilege it was to become a citizen "of these United States."

"Will the candidates please stand and raise your right hands."

The official led the group in the oath ... Liam repeated it all and especially, "I will defend the Constitution of the United States of America ..."

~~~

Eva watched Liam. She realized how much everything had changed since she had left her family in Finland. She knew much more English than she did in 1897. Although she was still grieving Victor and the loss of the life she thought she'd had with him, she now felt it _was possible_ to be content. She realized that she could live life not so timidly, but with confidence. She was taking her strength back. It was a good feeling. Unexpected things had happened. She hadn't expected Victor would die. And she hadn't expected a stranger would arrive and end up becoming her lover and the father of her second child. A lover was one thing. But that lover was becoming her love. The thought was strangely frightening one moment and beautiful and exciting the next.

Eva was brought back to the present when she heard the official say to the candidates, "Welcome and congratulations. You are now citizens of the United States of America." The audience applauded. As each person's name was called, they went up to the stage to receive their naturalization certificate.

As the ceremony ended, someone announced there was coffee and refreshments to be had. Eva stood up to find Liam heading towards her with his certificate of naturalization in hand. He had a big smile and walked straight into her arms, kissing her long and sweet.

During refreshments, the room was fairly quiet aside from some pleasant chatting amongst the new citizens and their guests. Liam gave Eva another kiss.

"Will you two stop kissing?" Ellen said with irritation. She spoke in Finnish. "Everyone is looking at you,"

"You will stop right now, Ellen Franciina Mattson," Eva hissed, also in Finnish. "I won't have you ruin this outing for Liam."

"I don't want to but I'm just missing my Pappa right now."

"I'm sorry you are," Eva said. She squatted next to Ellen.

"You don't miss him?" Ellen said, also in Finnish. This was a serious conversation.

"Of course, I do, but your Pappa, as much as we love him, is not here anymore."

Little tears streamed from Ellen's eyes. Eva took Ellen by the shoulders and pulled her close with an enveloping embrace.

Eva whispered in her ear, "We can't change that, Ellen. But we can remember him well and love him in our hearts. That way he will always be with you. He will always be with _me_ even if I get married again."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. When you were born, it was a very special time between your Pappa and me. There was a lot of love. I'll always remember that."

Eva stood and watched Ellen for several moments. She glanced at Liam. Ellen walked to the refreshment table to pick out a cookie.

"I don't think this is quite over, Eva, but I do think she's making progress."

"I am sad she is not happy."

"Let's not give up. Please," Liam implored. "Perhaps tonight you can tell me what was said just then. If it was private though, I'll respect that."

"It vas good."

~~~

As planned, the three went back to the waterfront tavern and had the fish boil. The afternoon was hot but overcast. The docks had a strong fish smell. Luckily, a westerly breeze blew most of it away. They sat down at a table out front with a view of the lake, and were soon served. The soup had been simmering for hours. Liam thought lunch seemed so long ago.

Eva had a second bowl and more bread and butter, much to the amusement of Liam. He hadn't been with Dolly in this stage of pregnancy so it was new to him how a woman behaved in this condition.

"This is what it means when ye say 'eatin' for two' now?" he asked. He got a shy smile from Eva.

Experiencing Eva pregnant warmed Liam's heart. It was also bittersweet, because it brought up images of Dolly. His feelings must have shown on his face because he felt a hand on his cheek, soft and loving. Eva said nothing. She smiled softly at him, inching herself a little closer to him on the bench. He didn't want to tell her of his fears for her and her well-being as her pregnancy would progress. He was especially fearful of stairs. _How am I going to get through it?_

~~~

On the train back north, Ellen fell asleep sprawled across both Liam and her mother. Eva carried the bigger bulk of Ellen, whose head was on Eva's chest. Ellen's legs were across Liam's lap. Liam was drowsy but awake. He assumed the same was true for Eva, but when he turned his head to see if she was asleep on his shoulder, it stirred her. They smiled at each other.

"Perhaps we should take her places more often. It tires her out," Liam joked. He paused a few moments, then looked deep into Eva's eyes.

"What you gonna say?" she asked. "You look at me funny."

"Will ye marry me, Eva?"

She looked at him, "Yes, Liam I vill. I tink ve bedder." They kissed as best they could around their bulky lounger.

"Won't Ellen ..." Liam was thinking that Ellen would want to hear the news.

"I am avake. I heard," Ellen said. Her eyes were still closed and a furrowed brow appeared. "I tink my Mamma is happy again."

"What about you?" Liam asked.

Ellen opened her eyes. She showed Liam her own version of the intense blue eyes she inherited from her mother. "I'm fine. I get a Step-Pappa."

"Are ye sure ye're ready?"

"I am all right about it. You told me not to forget my first Pappa. Dat's vhen I started to like you. I have to think about everytink, still."

"Fair enough," Liam answered.

He could see out of the corner of his eye that Ellen still had her gaze on him. _She's still ambivalent. I wish I could help but it is her journey. I won't push and I'll be there when she needs me._

### Chapter 11

Mid-July was hot and humid in the North Country. It was eleven in the morning on the fifteenth in 1902, and Liam's wedding day. He was standing at the altar ready for Eva to walk down the aisle at the Finnish Lutheran Church of Virginia, Minnesota. Ed Murphy was there with him as his Best Man. Liam's collar seemed a little tight. Saimi had starched and ironed his best white shirt that morning while Eva was in the middle of morning sickness out in the privy. Liam had stood over her in an attempt to comfort her. He hadn't felt very helpful until he brought her inside later for some hardtack to settle her stomach.

He smoothed his lapel. He was wearing his new lightweight summer suit, a pale gray in color. Eva wouldn't let him cut his hair. She had grown accustomed to it curling around his ears and falling in his face when they made love. "Verdy sexy," she would whisper, running her fingers through the dark tresses.

Liam had written to Annie that he was getting married again and wished she could share this with him. She had been at the first wedding—the one he and Dolly had behind his parents' backs. _Everythin's changed. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would end up in Minnesota marryin' a northern beauty, and I didn't expect to be an instant father_. As he glanced at the faces in the congregation, most stone-faced and quiet, Liam pined for his mother figure Annie MacDonald. Saimi Laivo, of course, had been very kind and caring towards him. He was fond of her and very grateful for that kindness. But she wasn't his Annie. Liam had started writing to Annie shortly after his arrival in Minnesota at the suggestion of Ed Murphy. Her first correspondence was full of gratitude and great relief that he was alive.

_Praise Jesus, Liam. I fell to my knees and thanked Him when I received your letter ... The O'Briens were so relieved ..._ Annie had written.

Liam was mildly unnerved that virtually the entire community knew why Eva was marrying Liam so soon. The fact that the church was packed to the gills gave him the impression that they supported Eva and overlooked the out-of-wedlock pregnancy. He was grateful for that, especially for her. To be ostracized would have been devastating for her. He glanced at Ed, who seemed nervous himself.

"Ed, they may look like fierce Viking marauders, but they are a peaceful people," he whispered.

"They look angry," Ed whispered back with deadpan humor.

"No, it's how they are. It takes somethin' really humorous to make 'em smile. They are here because they love Eva."

"If ye say so," Ed said, smiling.

~~~

Eva and Ellen were hidden in the little room at the front of the church. Ellen was proudly dressed in her finest—a light blue starched cotton dress with a freshly starched and ironed white pinafore. Her black, button-up shoes were freshly polished. Her hair hung in a braid three quarters of the way to her waist. Eva had made a giant pale blue bow that was pinned at the back of her head at the top of the braid. Ellen was the flower girl.

Eva saw anxiety in Ellen's sweet face, smiled and spoke to her in Finnish. "I will allow some rouge on your lips for this special time. Would you like that?"

Ellen's face lit up. "Yes, I would."

As Eva used the tip of her ring finger to dab and smooth the rouge on Ellen's small lips, she noticed her frown once again. "Ellen, why do you have the frown again? I thought you were fine about this day. At least yesterday you were."

"Liam is not gonna be the same as my Pappa," Ellen said.

"No, he won't be, but—"

"Oh, Mamma, why did Pappa have to go away? I want him back, and you can't marry Liam!" Tears washed down her cheeks. She ran out of the little room toward the front entrance of the church.

Close to panic Eva whispered to a church-appointed usher to summon Saimi Laivo as inconspicuously as possible. Saimi came to the little room and accompanied Eva to the front stoop of the church. Luckily, Ellen had stopped her fleeing and was sitting on the step with her head on her knees. Her arms were wrapped around her head to hide herself. Saimi went right up to her as Eva stood by the closed door on the outside.

"Ellen Mattson," Saimi addressed her softly in Finnish. "My dear child, it is such a big day for your Mamma and Liam ... _and_ you. I want to know out of the three of you, who is not scared?"

"I'm the only one. Mamma and Liam are not scared. They are grown-ups."

"I know for a fact they are scared, too."

"Why would they be?"

"Because both of them lost the person they married. Those who died will never come back. You know how that feels. It's very scary to marry someone new. What if the same thing happens again?"

"Then why do they do it, Mamma and Liam?"

"Because a new baby is coming and that baby needs a father and mother and a father's last name. God wants them to. And the biggest reason they are getting married is because they love each other. But that doesn't mean they are not scared. The desire for life and happiness is bigger than fear."

Eva watched Ellen look up at Saimi through her tears. Eva blinked, and Ellen looked at her. Eva felt her own tears well.

"Are you scared, Mamma?"

"Yes, Ellen, I am, but I want to fight to be happy. It would be worse if I let my fear run my life. You are feeling the same. Do you want your fear to keep you from doing all you want to do? Will you sit alone in a house because you have fear?"

"No, I will fight it."

"What do you want to know, before I marry Liam?"

"Will you still love me as much? There's a new baby coming."

"Of course, I will," Eva said, choking on emotion. "I love you more with each day that comes and that will never change no matter how many children I have."

"Do I have to call him Pappa?"

"That is up to you. Maybe you could call him Pappa Liam." Eva held her arms out to Ellen, who came to her for a reassuring hug.

"I am trying, Mamma," Ellen whispered in Eva's ear.

"That's all I ask, my daughter."

Eva looked at Saimi over Ellen's shoulder. She saw Saimi wipe a tear from her cheek.

"If you are sure, Mamma, let's go marry Liam. I am still afraid, though."

"We will do it together, we three," Eva said. She held her daughter's hand as they slipped back into the little room in the front to finish preparing, Saimi heading back to her seat.

Eva sat back down in the chair in front of the mirror. "Now, let's finish putting that rouge on you," she said. "And then we need to get out there."

~~~

Eva felt beautiful in an off-white muslin dress with a cinched waist slightly loosened for pregnancy. It wasn't a wedding gown but a dress that would be worn to a fancy party. Since she was much older, for this wedding her hair was completely up, with little strands of hair pulled out and curled at her temples. She wore a pearl necklace and earrings that Saimi had lent her. She felt, for a moment, a little embarrassed at why she couldn't be married without being pregnant. She looked at herself in the dressing mirror and rolled her eyes, smiling ruefully.

Both the bride and flower girl had falls of white wild roses as bouquets. There was a patch of them growing on the property behind the barn. Saimi had tucked some of the blossoms into Eva and Ellen's hair earlier that morning.

Eva made one last check in the mirror. "Now," she said to Ellen, "ve ready."

Eva looked at Ellen and smiled. Each took a big breath and let it out in nervousness.

"Will Arvid think I'm beautiful?" Ellen asked her mother.

"If he don't, he don't see very good," Eva said.

Ellen laughed.

Then Eva said in Finnish, "I know we planned you would go down the aisle first, Ellen, but instead, I would like to hold your hand and we go together. Would you like that?"

She grinned. "I like that."

"Will you stand with Liam and me?"

"Will Liam like it if I do?"

"Oh, aye."

"You sound like Liam."

They heard the organ start the processional. Ellen walked out, looking proud and confident next to her mother, and they held hands as the congregation stood for the bride.

The church shined golden with the bright summer sun. There were audible gasps and sounds of delight as they walked down the aisle. Eva heard someone say how beautiful the bride looked, how you'd never know she was twenty-eight years old. But her eyes were on Liam.

~~~

As Eva made her way toward him, Liam had a hard time remembering to breathe. Ed bumped him with his elbow. Liam looked at Ed and saw his enamored expression.

"She's stunnin', Liam," Ed whispered.

Liam moved two steps to escort Eva by her elbow the rest of the way to the altar. "Ye're beautiful," he whispered to Eva. Her blue eyes shone bright with love.

"Hello, Ellen," Liam whispered to the added guest at the altar. "Are you joinin' us? It'd be a privilege to have ye."

"I can stay?"

"Oh, aye. We're all in this together." Liam was so touched he couldn't help but shed a tear of joy.

"Are you scared?" Ellen asked him, whispering.

"Oh, aye, but I decided my joy should be stronger," he whispered back.

"That's what Mamma said."

~~~

Eva gave her bouquet to Ellen. She looked at Liam and put a thumb of her gloved hand on his cheek to wipe his tears. In the past six months, Eva had done so much crying that she had no sad tears for today. Much of her strength regained through hard grieving and acceptance, she stepped into this new part of her life with confidence in spite of Ellen's difficulties. Eva knew in her heart it would be all right. She didn't know how long it would take but she knew for certain things would resolve.

The pastor started in Finnish, nervously tittered, then restarted in English. "Dearly beluff-edt, ve are gaddered here today in the sight of Got..."

Liam felt his knees wobble a little. It was momentary. It helped that he gazed at Eva, who had an angelic gaze on him. It calmed him.

"... Villiam Michael Dady, do you take dis voman to be you lafly vedded vife?"

"I do," Liam said. He put the gold ring on Eva's finger and gazed into her eyes.

"... Eva Elisabet Maki Mattson, do you take dis man ..."

"I do," Eva said clearly. She put the gold ring on Liam's finger. She smiled, looking at him.

"Vit powver vested in me by Got, I now pronounce you man and vife." The Pastor smiled and gave a signal that Liam could kiss his bride.

Eva and Liam kissed each other softly. Then they both took Ellen's hands and walked back down the aisle with her in between.

~~~

There was food and dancing at the Finnish Hall. Ed Murphy, best man and soda fountain proprietor, provided some traditional Irish food for the buffet table upon Eva's request. She and Liam purchased the ingredients and Ed cooked them up. He made Irish stew, soda bread, colcannon, and raisin cake. Eva was happy the Finns seemed to enjoy the sampling. Ed, also a bit of a musician, brought his violin and played Irish tunes interspersed in the Finnish music. Liam and Eva had two songs for their wedding dances, one Irish and one Finnish. Someone had made a white wedding cake for them.

"Dis is good cake," Eva said. She took a forkful off the same plate as Liam. "Dey make it no cost."

"It's free?" Liam asked. "Someone must like ye," he quipped.

"Dey like you, too."

~~~

At one point in the afternoon, remembering her early-morning instructions to Ellen about proper behavior at the wedding, Eva spotted Ellen and her friends walk, not run, into the Hall to get drinks and cake. Relieved, she thought their actions were appropriate. But upon further inspection, she noticed they were dusty, dirty, out of breath, and sweaty. Eva laughed when she realized her mistake. She told Ellen nothing of how she should behave outside, only inside.

" _Villi Ruusu_ ," Eva said. She was sitting with Liam at a table.

"What is that about?" Liam asked.

"Ellen. Dey all dirty from outside. I say behave inside. I forgot 'bout outside."

" _Villi Ruusu_ is right," Liam said with a chuckle. "I have my work ahead of me, don't I?"

~~~

Liam and Eva danced a waltz for their guests who insisted. While they were performing for a rapt crowd, they chatted in each other's ears.

"They want to see if 'the Irishman' will stomp on yer feet," Liam said. I get it that dancing is a Finnish requirement—a necessary evil, I should say. I never was much of a dancer."

"You do nice dance," Eva said as he spun her around the open auditorium floor. "My toes feel safe."

"What about yer heart?"

"Dat feel safe, too."

"We'll make sure that stays growin', mine too."

Caught up in his burgeoning desire for her, Liam stopped Eva in the middle of the floor. He forgot people were watching and planted his mouth on hers, his arm wrapped around her waist. He could feel her go limp as he kissed her, her arms hanging at her sides. After many moments, he looked up and saw the circled crowd silent and gaping at them.

"I guess it's time for the weddin' night," Liam quipped loudly, a corner of his mouth turned up.

With a collective blush and brief pause, the crowd roared in hilarity.

At the appropriate time, Eva and Liam said thank you and good night to all their guests who were still at the Hall having a grand time eating and dancing.

"Ellen, I see you tomorrow after dinner. I luff you," Eva said. She kissed Ellen's cheek.

"I love you too, Mamma," Ellen said. Her arms went around Eva's neck, and she returned the kiss.

"Goodnight, Ellen," Liam said, and then added with a bit of friendly teasing, "Don't chase too many fireflies with Arvid."

Ellen gave him a faint smile. Liam knew he just gave her permission to stay up as long as the Huttunens allowed. Fireflies wouldn't come until near dark.

~~~

The happy newlyweds went to Virginia's brand-new hotel for their wedding night. Eva had told Liam she had not been inside this one yet. Several years ago, a fire had destroyed the downtown, and many businesses had to rebuild. Liam had booked one of two suites offered by the small hotel. He had prearranged to have their clothing sent there. They found a complementary bottle of champagne in the suite when they arrived, but they politely turned it down for some hot coffee and another piece of cake from room service.

"Are ye hungry? Although, I'm not sure why I'm askin'. I saw ye eat three plates of food and two pieces of cake at the reception. But we can order from the restaurant."

"Vat dey haff?" Eva spoke as though she were starving. She sat in a plush club chair in their room, gazing at him. "I don't need food. I vant you." She pulled her dress up to reveal the sexy silk stockings and garters attached to her corset.

"What do ye have there?" He started for her. "Ye look like a French dancer."

She gasped as he approached, and she threw the dress back down over her legs.

"What's this, then?" he asked, feigning protest. "Doesn't a husband get to ravage his wife on his weddin' night?"

"Not 'til I say so," Eva said in her clearest English yet. It made them laugh.

Liam started to sense this night was not going to be romantic, it was going to be wild. "All right, then. Ye started it ..." he declared.

Eva sat in the chair seemingly trying to anticipate his next move. He took off his jacket, vest, and untied his tie, dropping them on the floor. He loosened the top two buttons of his shirt. As he maintained eye contact, he started to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. He watched her watch him. She blushed, her breaths deepened. She seemed to be enjoying the game. He started for her as he worked the buttons. With a squeal, she hiked up her skirt and dashed from the chair to the bed, flying onto it and bouncing, laughing as she did.

"I didn't know ye could run in those shoes," he said.

She stood up, breathless and laughing. "Get me out dis dress." She fumbled with the buttons in the front, giggling at him. His trousers fell around his feet. He stepped out of them and went to help. She couldn't get to all of the buttons fast enough before Liam picked her up and tossed her back on the bed where she bounced again, making her giggle even more. Her hair started to fall. She pulled all the pins out, causing a cascade of reddish-blonde around her face and shoulders. The dress was discarded on the floor along with Liam's suit.

"Get dis corset off," she said. She turned so he could untie the laces in the back.

"Will ye leave it on?" he asked. "Just take off what needs to be taken off."

She turned around to face him. She took his face with her hands and kissed him with a lot of tongue. She promptly bounced back on the bed. "Everytink you need is off," she announced and lay back spreading her legs.

"I can see very well."

She giggled.

_My God,_ Liam thought in delight, _this is the real Eva!_ He was thrilled by her joy. She could let go and have fun, still youth-like in her play but a womanly twenty-eight-year-old in her sexual role. He moved closer to the bed.

Leaning back on her elbows, Eva extended her leg and used her high-heeled foot to lift Liam's shirt hem. She peeked under it, grinning from ear to ear, her eyes wide.

"He's there, surely," Liam said. "He's quite ready, too." He lifted his shirt, so she could see.

"Vhen you get dat?"

"About two hours ago." He got a laugh from Eva. "He wants to say somethin' to ye." He laughed at her scream of hilarity. He moved closer and closer.

"Stop!" she yelled, but he felt her squirm in anticipation underneath his lowering body. Her knees were bent and spread.

"Are ye sure ye want me to stop?" Liam kneeled between her legs, lowering his body. "Is that why yer legs are wide open?"

"You gonna stop?" She pulled her knees up.

"No." He leaned closer and closer until he kissed her neck. "Yer legs are still spread." Pausing, he looked at her for a few moments. She became silent but still joyful. "Eva, I love ye," he whispered. He slid easily into his playful new wife. Both grinned and giggled until they climaxed.

### Chapter 12

Eva and Liam adjusted well to their new life together. While there were old remnants that would surface of their lives before, they got to a point where it was often unnecessary to go to the other for support around the old sadness. Each had grown in their own confidence and strength. Ellen, however, was taking her time accepting the marriage. She still went back and forth with her emotions.

Eva had started to look back on her tavern "visit" as a humorous thing. At the time it had made her feel better but she knew it probably didn't change anyone else's behavior. She hadn't seen the Widow Johnson down the street since that time she'd found Liam there. Eva was moving past her hatred for her and thought her a sad, lonely woman.

One hot morning a few weeks after the wedding, Eva was cleaning in the kitchen when a knock came on the front door. Liam had gone to work, Ellen was at the Huttunen's, and Saimi had gone to the dry goods. Expecting the mailman, Eva, pushed back some lose strands of hair from her sweaty brow, opened the door, and was stunned to find the Widow Johnson standing on the porch. Eva's impulse was to scream for her to leave, but she maintained her composure and spoke to her calmly and evenly.

"Vat you do here?" Eva asked.

"I ... I ... wanted to say I'm sorry."

It seemed to Eva that it was the hardest thing the disheveled, once-pretty, brown-haired woman ever did. Her make-up was smeared and Eva could smell the Main Street Bar on her reminding her of how Victor used to smell. It released a flood of the same dread she had felt during that time.

"You must think I'm such a horrible person ... for what I did. You're right about me not thinking about your little girl when ... I'm just so sorry for everything." She left Eva standing in the open door when she turned to go.

Eva didn't know how to react other than stepping back into the house, closing the door, and leaning her back up against it. Without expecting it, she burst into tears. She wished Liam was home. She slid down to the floor on her bottom. She put her face her hands. And cry she did, for all the anger and hurt, for Victor's selfishness and betrayal, a final step in the grieving, perhaps a last door to close.

~~~

That evening Liam had come home from the hospital later than usual. He had terrible news and wished he didn't have to tell Eva.

"The Widow Johnson collapsed at the tavern after several drinks," he announced. "She was near death by the time her drinking comrades staggered into the hospital with her. They had let her lie unconscious on the bar floor before realizing there was something terribly wrong. We pumped her stomach but she was too far gone. We couldn't save her."

"Dat's terdible," Eva said.

"Overdose was the cause of death," he said. "The autopsy tests showed a lethal amount of opium, combined with alcohol."

Eva was inconsolable, but not for long. She told Liam of her visit with the Widow that afternoon.

"She was makin' amends before she died."

"Sees do dis? It not AK-see-dent?"

"Probably not," he said. He put his arms around her. "It was impossible to tell for certain from the autopsy. She left no note according to the Sheriff. But sometimes people know instinctively when they are going to leave this world."

Later that night, Eva sat on the edge of their bed, blowing into a hankie. "Is it last time I cry about dis?" she said.

Liam didn't answer her, he just held her while they lay in bed. After a while he heard her say, "Yes, it last time." He felt her begin to relax. She turned to him. He knew she was seeking comfort. He gave it to her with his hand slowly and tenderly bringing her to release, blessed sleep, and a new day tomorrow.

~~~

"Is this fishing and canning going to be like plantin' the garden?" Liam asked Eva making her chuckle. He remembered how he didn't like working a hoe much, sweating like a beast in the hot sun.

"You gonna liff."

"We'll see ..."

She laughed at his complaining.

It was Sunday morning and promising hot, sultry weather and a day of swimming, fishing, and preserving. Liam, Eva and Ellen were going to spend the day at the lake then Saimi and a few others were joining them in the afternoon through the evening. Liam would help Eva set up fish smoking racks. Eva was also preparing to make what the Swedes called lutefisk. Many crocks were on hand for storing. Liam was having a hard time with the idea of using lye, otherwise poisonous to humans, to preserve fish that people would be consuming in the winter.

"It fine, Liam," Eva explained. "It yust need good soaking and rinse, in vadder before cookink and eatink." She grinned at him as the three of them walked to the lake, pulling a wagon load of canning materials.

"Please warn me when lutefisk is on the table," he said. "I'll pass it by and pick somethin' else, thanks."

"I vill let you know," Eva promised.

"I can't vait to get into the wadder," Ellen said. "Can you go any faster?"

"Be good, _Ruusu_ ," Eva said with feigned sternness. "Look, dere is lake now." They crested the woods-covered knoll, and Ellen took off for the shore, running and yelling like a marauding Viking.

"She's not goin' to drown, is she?" Liam asked.

"No. Sees understand not go before ve get dere."

Sure enough, Liam watched as Ellen stopped short of the water and ran back to them. She grabbed her garden tools and a small galvanized bucket from the wagon and headed back to the water. She sat down on a narrow portion of the shoreline that was composed of sandy dirt. "I'm making _muta piirakat_ ," she hollered.

"Sees says mud pies."

While keeping an eye on Ellen, Eva and Liam set up the smoking rack. They put canvas around it to capture the smoke where the slices of fish would be hung. The fire pit would be under it where a smoky fire would be set for the freshly caught fish. Eva and Liam also set up a small canvas tent since they would be staying the night to keep the smoking going. Ellen was beyond excited when she found out she could sleep at the lake and that it wasn't going to rain. They had brought food and drink for their lunch. Saimi would be bringing more food after church for later.

"Ellen, let's gather some wood for the smokin' and bonfire," Liam said.

"Do I have to?" Ellen sounded put upon.

"No, but it would be nice to help, since there's a lot of work ahead."

"Fine," Ellen muttered, avoiding eye contact with him. She and Liam headed to the edge of the woods.

Liam glanced at Eva who gave him a look of exasperation. Liam gave Eva a hand signal to let it be.

A half-hour later Liam and Ellen had gathered a substantial amount of firewood from the woods floor using the wagon to haul it.

"It's a good start," Liam said. "The rest of you children can get more later."

Ellen ran back to the lakeshore and her digging.

When Liam got back to Eva, she started to reminisce. "Ve used to do dis at lake at Mattson farm. It vas bik party all night." Liam saw her go inward with her memories. Her smile faded.

"Why did yer smile go away?" he said, "if ye don't mind me pushin' ye a wee bit."

Eva looked at Liam and hesitated, then spoke as she watched Ellen. "All my memory of Finland haff Victor. I can't find dem happy anymore."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"'Course, my family vas happy time, and I alvays miss dem. I can't ... I don't know vhat to say 'bout it."

"Those are called mixed feelin's. Some of it is happy and some, sad."

~~~

When their tasks were complete, Eva set an old quilt under a birch cluster near the edge of the open beach area, and she and Liam sat for a while as she told him more about the preserving of fish in Finland. The shade felt good. She felt light-hearted now and anticipated a good day. She called Ellen to have something to drink with them.

"Vat you talkink about?" Ellen asked as she approached. She had mud all down the front of her undergarments being used for swimwear. Her hands and face were in similar condition.

"I am talkink 'bout Ol' Country to Liam. Ve have fishink party at lake. You don't remember 'bout lake and our house dere."

"I only remember liddle tinks, like a big campfire and fish on the ground." Ellen drank a cup of _mehu_ made earlier that spring with in-season berries. "Ummm, dat's good," she said. "Tanks, Mamma." She gave the cup back and ran to the shore and back to her mud. As usual, she ignored Liam.

"Sees so stubborn," Eva said quietly. "I know you are so nice vit her."

"I stay quiet because I don't want to make it worse."

He sat up and took off his shirt and trousers. Underneath, he had on a pair of long johns. He had cut the legs short to go in the water. His upper torso remained uncovered. Eva felt herself gawk but tried to be inconspicuous about it. Liam must've seen something because she saw it in his eyes. She felt the heat, her breathing deepening. She wanted him badly.

"I see ye lookin' at me."

She blushed wildly. "Yes," she whispered, "I am."

"Come on, let's clean Ellen off." Liam invited Eva to get down to her undergarments. "No one will be here for a while, let's have a swim!"

He pulled her up from the quilt and began to disrobe her. This was uncomfortable for her in front of Ellen, but pleasurable as well. Eva always liked it when Liam undressed her. It just wasn't ever in front of Ellen.

"Liam—" She started to protest, trying to stop his fingers from unbuttoning her blouse.

"What?" He seemed amused. "She already saw us have sex that first time." He turned slightly and pointed. "See, right over there, near that big fallen tree. She knows what we do."

"Vell, as lonk as we don't haff sex in front again, you are right. She is not lookink."

Eva stripped down to her camisole and bloomers. A little belly was starting to protrude, mostly from her increased appetite. Liam patted it and they smiled at each other. They walked toward Ellen on the shoreline.

Suddenly Liam ran up to Ellen, scooped her up, and yelled," Come on, Ellen, let's take a dip in the lake!"

Ellen shrieked at the sudden attack. Eva thought Ellen didn't know whether to be irritated or delighted. Liam gently tossed her in the shallow water. She resurfaced in joyous laughter, pushing her hair from her face and working to regain her balance.

She yelled and pointed, "Go get Mamma!"

With a feigned sinister grin, Liam splashed through the water toward Eva and gave her the same treatment. He was able to catch her before she could run further inland. He scooped her up while she protested vehemently. He waded to deeper water and tossed her in, falling in with her. She resurfaced spurting and sputtering. Her long hair was covering her face.

"It so cold." Eva, like Ellen, had momentary trouble gaining her balance. She stood thigh deep, her clothes clinging and see-through.

Liam noticed. Eva watched as he had to go to deeper water to conceal his stiff penis from Ellen. Ellen and Eva played for a short while, splashing and diving under, chasing each other. Eva noticed Liam staying out in the deeper water.

"Vhat you do out dere, Liam?"

"I ... I ... em ... I got too ..."

Eva understood what he meant and started to laugh. "Den you take care youself. Ellen and I go get lunce." She stood and headed back to the quilt and lunch basket in the shade.

"Mamma, I can see your boobs and your _peppu_ ," Ellen said in her own amusement.

Liam asked, "What's a _peppu_?"

Eva said nothing but pointed to her round bottom. Liam nodded and tried to hide a smile. Ellen and Eva walked to the shaded quilt and their lunch basket.

~~~

As they sat down, Eva took some sandwiches from the basket in the shade and put them on the plates she'd brought. Eva began to ask Ellen a few questions in Finnish. "Where did you hear the word 'boobs'?"

"The older boys at school," Ellen responded in her mother's preferred language. "They always say things at recess and after school about the older girls and ladies around town."

"Stay away from them, please," Eva implored. "And tell me if there is trouble. Pappa Liam will take care of it." She gave Ellen a serious look.

"He's a doctor. What's he going to do? Operate on them?"

"He will take care of you. He's your stepfather, now."

"Hmm."

"He used to be a boxer, a fighter." She put her fists up as a fighter would pose.

Ellen seemed unimpressed.

After a while, Liam joined them for a sandwich. Liam still seemed enthralled with Eva's wet undergarments. He came out of the water and wrapped a large linen towel around his waist. As he sat down to eat, Ellen ignored him. Eva was long used to having a child about, and she knew Liam would have to adjust. In a month or so, Ellen would be back in school and off with friends and involved in recreational activities at the Finn Hall on Saturdays.

When Ellen was finished with her lunch, she gave Eva a hug and went back to her digging in the dirt at the shoreline, leaving Eva and Liam sitting on the blanket in the shade.

"When can I have you?"

"Vhen Ellen sleep." Eva looked at Liam with a bit of empathy.

"Was it like this with Victor? Did he feel the restriction with Ellen around?"

"Oh yes. Sees vould vake in a night somptimes, or vake from her nap. Victor haff to stop in a middle. Lotta times. It leef Victor yust like you vit nottink to put his tink in vhen he need to." She laughed silently. "He go to privy and come out lil while. No more bik tink."

Liam chuckled.

Eva waited. "I vant to know vhen sees make up mind 'bout you. Sometimes I tink yes, and next tink, no. I am crazy vit her!"

"I never know how she's going to be either. I think patience is my tack."

~~~

That evening when the fish were feeding many were caught from both the shoreline and the boat. Saimi and Eva prepared and preserved a dozen crocks-full of lutefisk and hung an equal number of filleted strips of lake salmon on the frame to smoke. Eva watched as Ellen had great luck catching perch and bluegill from the shore. Ellen could bait her hook using earthworms without batting an eyelash just like she had all her childhood. She even bit worms in half if she didn't have two hands to split them. The boarders Paul and Emil, fished from the boat and found lake trout and salmon abundant. Anna brought a few side dishes to eat with the fried fish over a wood fire.

Ellen ate until she moaned, then at around ten went off to fall asleep, just dusk so far north. The rest of the people headed home, leaving Eva and Liam to tend the smoking fire—finally alone.

~~~

When the last of the helpers disappeared down the wooded path that night, Liam declared in a whisper, "It's been a long day, darlin'. I need ye bad." He glanced at Ellen. Her head stuck out of the tent, resting on her pillow. She was quite still and hopefully off in dreamland.

"I put some vood on fire first."

But Eva didn't get to the wood stack near the fire. Liam held her in a hug and put her on the ground. "I've run out of patience, I cannot wait a second more," he said.

He pulled his trousers down to his knees, while she pulled up her skirt. He knelt between her legs and spread her knees as far as they would go. As he entered her, he gently bit her breasts through her blouse, beginning the inexorable journey to sexual bliss. She gasped and began her own rhythmical moaning as he pushed into her, setting a fast rhythm.

~~~

Ellen, the vigilant one, woke. It was dark. She looked up from her pillow and found her mother and Liam writhing and moaning on the ground. _They're at it again_. _Why do they keep doing that? Isn't Mamma already gonna have a baby? Katia says that's how people get that way. I hear them all the time. What's so special about it? I know I'll never do that with a boy. It just seems so ... unsavory._ Ellen had learned that word from her teacher Miss Lehto recently, when she was talking about boys spitting. Ellen rolled her eyes and fell back to sleep to the sound of her mother's heavy breathing.

~~~

Eva and Liam continued their quest for carnal satisfaction.

"I can't stop now," he said, nearly breathless.

"Don't," she said, just as breathless, lost in the pleasure of the quick coupling.

His hand held her buttock as he climaxed, trying not to make noise to wake Ellen. He could see that Eva was in the middle of her release. He pushed in hard for her to finish. She ground her hips into his. They lay limp in each other's arms.

"Jesus Christ," he whispered. "I had to wait fourteen hours to get inside ye." He felt Eva vibrate in silent laughing. "You were near me all day and I couldn't have ye. If ye ever want to torture me, just do this day all over again." He chuckled.

"I tink it vas ..." Eva counted in English words on her fingers. "...tvelve hours, and I vant you all day, too." She pulled his head to her and kissed him slowly and sensuously.

He suddenly recalled the first night with Eva when she was still severely affected by Victor's death. While he had held her, she had brought herself to a climax. "I never told ye about that first night takin' care of ye," he said.

"Vhat happened?"

He told her in her ear, very quietly.

"I did dat?" She gave him a quick half-smile in the firelight.

"Ye did, surely."

"Vhat you do?"

"I put ye back to bed when ye were done. Ye fell back to sleep."

"Did you vant to?"

"Oh, aye, but I didn't because of your dire situation."

"You are good man. But, tonight vas lil DEEF-rent." She kissed him on the neck.

"I blame it on yer wet undergarments," he said. "Jesus that made me wild for ye. You and yer _peppu_." He squeezed her buttock.

"Not my boobs?"

"Oh, aye, those too, but mostly yer _peppu_."

She giggled and kissed him again. "It funny you remember dat vord."

"I remember all the bad words."

"It not bad vord. But don't say it 'round people."

"I'll remember that."

"Let's get vood on fire, and get qvilt to lie close."

They got up and moved closer to the fire with two quilts. Settled and lounging on one, Liam had an impulse.

"I never told ye about Dolly and how I met her. I'd like to do that, if ye don't mind."

"No, Liam, I don't mind," Eva said softly. "I vait lonk time you say somptink, but you not ready." She crawled next to him and took his hand and pulled the quilt around them.

He told her about the row he had with his parents and how his aimless wanderings led him to a pub which was a brothel. Eva didn't know what the word brothel meant. When he explained, she was both astonished and intrigued that he'd fallen in love with a prostitute.

"Holy see-it!" Eva said. It was the first American epithet that Liam had heard her say. "Tell more, Liam."

Liam told her about hiring Dolly as the housekeeper and about sleeping with her under his mother's nose. When he got to the trans-Atlantic crossing, and leaving New Jersey without her, he cried.

"You love Dolly so mutts, Liam. I know sees so happy in last years vhen you save her. Don't forget dat all you life. Even if vas so lil time togedder. I luff you more now. You are so good. You see somebody vit trouble you do all you can, helpink."

She took him into her arms. He was aware that it was the same way she had held him that late morning in early May not far from where they were sitting. They sat a long time. As he cried she held on for his dear life, stroking his head and neck.

"You know somptink? I tink you come back to me vhen Victor die so you can help me. You saw me vit bik trouble and you stay in town. I am verdy lucky to haff you vhen I was so sad. Dolly vas verdy happy vhen sees go. I don't tink Victor go dat vay. He hurt me. He feel shame. Hees try fix tinks yust before hees die. It vas too late." She sighed.

Liam leaned up from her arms. "What happened?" He had never heard the whole story from Eva.

Eva told Liam about Ellen's discovery of Victor in the Widow Johnson's house. "I could not forgiff him. He tried and tried and I don't ..."

Liam pulled her closer.

"I tink vhy I don't let him back to me maybe he not die. I tink he go back to udder vomen even after Vidow Yohnson."

"Remember what ye told me that day, over there, by the big log?" Liam asked.

"Yes, it not you fault," she recalled.

"Not any more than Victor's death was yers," Liam said.

Eva sat still for a long time as Liam held her. Then she spoke. "I tink you come to me dat first day from train, vhen you sick. Ve don't know it vhen you come, but you did. God brink you to me. You tink?"

"More than likely," Liam answered.

After putting more wood on the fire Liam and Eva curled up under a quilt. He settled in behind her.

"You happy you say somptink?" she asked.

"Oh, aye," he answered. He put his hand on her baby belly. "I hope you understand if I get scared as we go along with yer pregnancy. Perhaps I already am."

"Sees fall on a stairs."

~~~

Two days after the fish canning weekend, Eva received a letter from her sisters Aili and Liisa.

Dear Eva,

_It took us a long time to decide to tell you but we could not bear it if we didn't_. _Both families decided after a busy spring planting season to go to juhannus. What we discovered struck Mamma Mattson and the rest of us deep to our cores. We hadn't seen Olga Hautala for years and had heard that Vilho had died earlier that spring. He had been sick with a blood disease for quite some time and had been training an apprentice when he finally succumbed to the illness. He left Olga with four children. What was shocking was that her second child, Peter, almost eight when we met him, was the exact image of Victor. It was unmistakable to all of us. Mamma Mattson demanded she talk to Olga. Aili accompanied them. At Olga's, Olga was honest and told them that she and Victor had begun an affair in high school. While it stopped when you became engaged to Victor, and she married Vilho, she admitted that while she was very fond of Vilho and loved him, she loved Victor and does so to this day. She admitted to having sex with Victor two times after their marriages. The first resulted in the birth of Peter. There were hard tears we told her that Victor had died and she could never see him again. Peter is a great joy to her. Olga went further. She said she knew of other girls Victor had been with over those three years until he married you. We surreptitiously checked to see if any had had children during those years, but we found none, other than Peter._

Eva, we are so sorry to have to tell you these things, but since Victor is gone, it won't disrupt your new marriage. Now that you are married again, we hope Liam is consoling you with this news.

We love you so much and miss you.

Aili and Liisa.

There were accompanying letters from Mamma Mattson and Eva's mother, no doubt wanting to talk of this news with her. She didn't want to read them yet. Eva had never shared the troubles between her and Victor with her loved ones back home, and never would, as long as an elder Mattson was alive. None of them knew how wrong everything had gone since they'd left Finland. _It would break their hearts even more,_ Eva thought.

~~~

When Liam arrived home from the hospital that night, he listened empathetically at the kitchen table while Eva interpreted the letter for him. She had to read him the whole letter, since it was all in Finnish. It was clearly painful for her to hear it again.

"Vhen it gonna stop?" she said when she was finished. "How many udder seeldren Victor have before he got mumps and his testicles damage?"

"How do you know he had that?" Liam asked.

"Vhen Ellen vas not qvite two, Victor take grains to farm near us. Lil boy dere have mumps. Victor didn't have vhen he vas lil, so he got it den. His testicles get verdy big. Doctor Andersen here says dats vhat happen. Ve have no more babies."

"He happened to squeeze at least one more in before the disease," Liam muttered sardonically. He was angry that his wife was still having Victor's transgressions thrown in her face.

"Vhat vordy me is Mamma Mattson. Sees tink Victor vas so vonderful. Ve all did. Many vays he vas. He luff his Mamma, and he luff his _Villi Ruusu_. Mamma Mattson feel bad now, I know. First Eino. Now her best son."

"Who's Eino?" Liam asked.

"Victor's brodder. I tell you later."

Liam and Eva sat silent at the kitchen table. Eva seemed morose but tearless, staring at the letter as if it were poisonous.

"You know what this means?" Liam said finally.

"Vhat?"

"Ellen's had a half-brother since she was two."

They remained at the table. Eva continued to stare sullenly at the letter. After a while, Liam took her into his arms.

"I can't tell Ellen yet. I burn ledder."

"She has a right to know, eventually."

"I know," Eva said and finally began to weep.

~~~

In bed that night Liam soothed her in the best way he knew how. Now, Eva lay awake that recalling those last days in Finland with Eino before he left the farm. _He knew. Eino knew of Victor's ... other girls. He tried to tell me many times but I wouldn't listen. I was so infatuated with the charming older brother that I forsook Eino._ Eva began to cry. She was stunned at the revelation. All that time when she and Eino were sweet on each other, Victor was most likely running with a number of girls. _No wonder Eino was heartbroken and hated his brother. I was just another one of Victor's conquests. Victor called Olga a "city girl." I think she didn't want to be a farmer's wife. Unlike me. I was the ... convenient one. It didn't matter to Victor if his brother was in love with me. He got his way. He fooled me ..._ Suddenly Eva realized Liam's arms were around her. "I tell you tomorrow." She cried in his arms again.

~~~

At dawn Liam listened as Eva told him about Eino. "Ye loved the other brother and Victor took ye from him under false pretenses."

"I vas so younk. I didn't see ...Victor ..." her voice trailed off. "Den Eino start to drink and hate his brother, and I tink he hate me, too. Den Victor ask me to marry him. Hees let me know how good sex vas vit him. I get vit child. Eino's too late."

"Where did Eino go?"

"Hees say to sea. Nobody but me see him. I see him twice yust before hees go 'vay."

"Did he say anything then?"

"Hees try to tell me 'bout Victor 'gain, but I got angry vit him. First time, hees kiss me. Hees vant sex, but I don't let him."

"What about the second time ye saw him, before he went to sea?"

Eva hesitated and gazed into Liam's eyes. She didn't have to say a thing.

"Ye made love with him."

Eva's tears ran freely.

"There's not a chance Ellen is Eino's?"

She shook her head no. "I already 'bout tree mont."

"Jesus," he breathed and took her in his arms. "Ye loved him but in all practicality, it couldn't be him. It would've been scandalous."

"I lose two brodders."

"Ye lost two loves. I'm sorry, darlin'."

### Chapter 13

Harvest time brought work for Saimi and Eva. They spent many hours canning, and digging up and storing the root vegetables planted by Eva and Liam that spring. It was a bumper crop.

One Saturday, Eva decided to pick apples at the local orchard. She liked to can applesauce, lots of it. Ellen wanted to come along and asked if she could bring her friend Katia. Katia's mother Susanna, Eva's friend, was coming as well.

Before heading to the hospital, Liam hitched up the buckboard to their horse Dandy and loaded all the bushel baskets that were stored in the barn.

Eva, Ellen, and Saimi drove to Katia's house to pick them up. The orchard was five miles south-east of town, and the group had a pleasant ride.

It was a beautiful late summer day. The sky was a cloudless vivid blue. It was still chilly but it was promising to be a warm day. While Ellen and Katia sat in the back with a plethora of empty bushel baskets, the ladies riding on the bench listened to the girls as they lamented the end of summer and the start of school.

When they arrived at the orchard neither of Eva's adult companions allowed her to climb the ladders set out for customers to reach the higher apples. Her baby was just beginning to show.

"I have strict orders from Dr. Dady that you are not to climb any ladders. Your feet should stay firmly on the ground," Saimi announced. "I am surprised he even let you come."

"I have been pregnant before," Eva answered in Finnish. "I am not a porcelain doll."

"He let you come if I promised I would watch you like a hawk."

Eva sighed. Liam had gently warned her that he would be afraid for her safety, not so much right then, but when the pregnancy advanced. Eva got the feeling that this period of time was not going to be easy for Liam.

She'd gotten a bigger taste of Liam's fear as he'd talked to her sternly that morning while he was dressing for the hospital. Eva thought he had turned insane for a moment.

"Don't ye climb on the ladders," he said. "Take extra care gettin' on and off the buckboard. Let Saimi hitch the horse. No. I'll hitch the horse." He'd finished putting his suit on. "And don't carry any of the full bushels. Do ye hear me, Eva?"

"I am fine, Liam," Eva had insisted.

"Are ye gonna listen?" He had turned a bit more manic. "Because I'll refuse to let ye go!"

Eva had been shocked at his behavior but had decided she had no recourse. "I listen to you," she'd said.

Liam hadn't seemed to know what to do with her hurt and shocked reaction so he'd left without kissing her.

At the orchard, Eva and the girls were designated catchers on the ground. Up on the ladders, Susanna or Saimi tossed the apples down. It became hilarious when Eva kept missing the tossed ones and all her dropped and damaged apples had to be put in the "cook first" basket. The other apples would either get cooked next or go in a basket for the storage area in the coldest corner of the cellar. Ellen was in stitches on the ground at one point.

"I don't play catch like you, Ellen," Eva said in Finnish to her daughter. "Maybe you can teach me at home."

"Tomorrow after church," Ellen suggested in English.

"Ve see how I feel. Today is lonk vit cookink and canning, not yust pickink."

Eva resumed watching her daughter's skillful catching of apples. Ellen continued to snicker at her mother.

"Eva," Susanna called quite loudly. "Here comes more. Get ready."

When they had arrived, Eva noticed a rag-tag bunch of pickers about fifty yards from them, vagrants mostly. A while into the picking, Eva glanced up upon hearing the group. Something familiar registered in her as she scanned the group casually. Victor came to mind. She was used to having Victor and her family members show up often in her memories, so that familiar feeling was not something that would necessarily push anything to the front of her mind. Eva was glad the vagrants were far enough away from them so Ellen and Katia were safe. Vagrants as a rule were never to be trusted. Eva went back to apple picking and enjoying her time there.

~~~

The orchard owner, a raspy-voiced man in his sixties with a broad brimmed straw hat, drove a team of horses and a buckboard around the orchard. He picked up filled bushels for storage and selling and dropped off empty baskets. He supervised the group of temporary workers.

"You all finish up as fast as you can. I'm wasting time having to watch you bastards." He turned to one of the vagrants. "Hey you! Keep picking. You don't need to watch those good folks over there. If you want to earn your money, pick."

The vagrant gave the supervisor a frosty blue-eyed glance, then skulked back to the job.

~~~

Twelve bushels of apples, just washed with the hose and ready to be stored or cooked, sat in the boarding house back yard. It was lunchtime and the ladies and girls sat at an outdoor table where they ate and rested for a while. Eva felt like she was nodding off over her sandwich.

"Eva," Saimi said after they were finished with the meal. "Liam told me to insist you take a nap."

"But you need help," Eva protested, knowing how much work there was to be done.

"I vake you in an hour," Saimi said. "Dr. Dady make me do dis. He vant you to be safe." She smiled and waved Eva toward the door. "The girls vill help, and ve haff new apple peelers. It core dem, too."

"Vhy hees Dr. Dady now? Not Liam," she asked rhetorically. At first Eva resisted, but truth be told, she was relieved at the prospect of a nap. She was exhausted before they'd even left the orchard. She didn't remember being this tired when Ellen was on the way. Then she remembered she was ten years younger when she was expecting the first time. She took off her boots at the door and went to her room to rest. She put a flannel blanket over her and didn't expect to fall asleep but as soon as her head landed on the pillow, that's exactly what she did. The last thing that flashed in her mind was Victor standing in the orchard near the group of vagrants.

~~~

Upon returning from the hospital in the early evening, Liam was momentarily impressed with the many quarts of mason jars filled with applesauce. His focus was to see Eva and check her condition after her long day. He found her sitting at the table with a cup of _mehu_.

"Come into the bedroom, Eva. Let me see how ye are." He knew he was being short with her.

"Vhat is madder vit you? I am fine. See, I yust sit to have _mehu_."

"Ye look like hell," he barked at her. She looked exhausted to him, with dark circles under her eyes.

Eva, becoming irritated, barked back. "You don't haff to—"

"Eva!" was all Liam said.

Eva stood up shoving the chair with the backs of her legs nearly knocking it over. She followed Liam into the bedroom. He shut the door.

"Sit," he demanded, pointing to the bed.

She sat. "Liam, you can't make me do notink dis whole time."

"I don't want you hurt or injured. Then what do I do, bury you too?" He paced in his pent-up anxiety.

"I can't tell you vhat gonna happen, but you can't be so vordy, you lock me inside."

"Eva," Liam said, his voice softening. He was no longer pacing. "It's still so raw, especially now that ye're with child, _my_ child." He was on the verge of welling up.

"Liam," she said. He saw compassion in her eyes. She patted the bed next to her, inviting him to sit. He let go of enough anxiety to sit down. They held hands and put their foreheads together.

"Ye're right, Eva. I'm sorry I was so gruff."

"I promise I take care, Liam, for you." She thought for a few moments, then lifted her head up. Liam looked at her in anticipation. "I vas tinking, if everytink so danger, maybe you and I can't make love now." She gave him a look of I-gotcha.

He sat for a moment, thinking. He began to nuzzle her neck. "I don't think we need to go that far. Do you want that?" He gave her a gotcha look to match hers. She nuzzled him back. Then, lying back on the bed, she pulled him on top of her. He fumbled with his buttons, then rustled her skirts out of the way. She put her hand on his growing erection. "Uhh," he uttered. He looked into her eyes. She was smiling and moving under him, rocking her hips into his.

"You like?"

"Oh, aye. Spread yer legs."

Her knees bent and spread. "I like you penis," she whispered and helped him inside. He found a pebble hard nipple through her blouse and put his teeth around it. His rhythm began. He watched her face as he came closer.

"Oh, Jesus," he breathed with his many thrusts. He came strong when he heard her climax.

Afterwards, Liam could hear Saimi say the cab was there for Susanna and Katia. After they left, Liam came out of the bedroom and went out to the privy. On his way out, he sat on the back step to tie his work boots. With just the screen door between him and Ellen, he overheard Ellen talking to Saimi.

"Vhy does Liam vordy about the baby?" Ellen asked. "He yells at Mamma about it."

"Liam did not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"His first vife died in accident and she had baby, like you Mamma has now."

"The baby died, too?"

"Yes, he lost his child."

"He lost two, den," Ellen said, almost to herself. "He vordies about Mamma. He don't vanna lose her or the baby."

### Chapter 14

Five or six weeks into the school year it was cool but good weather, and just about the time Ellen would arrive home. Eva was working on a project on the loom and nearly screamed when Ellen walked through the front door. She could see that Ellen had been in some kind of fight, or something. Her dress was ripped and she was smudged in dirt. Eva rushed to her daughter in the foyer and knelt beside her.

"Mamma, remember vhen you said I should tell you if big boys bodder me?"

"What happen, Ellen? Dey hurt you?" Eva shook with fear for what may have happened to her daughter.

"Yes, me and Katia vere valking home and dey—" Ellen began to cry.

"Ellen! Dey take you ... bloomers off?" Eva's anxiety was mounting.

"They did to Katia. Somebody come before dey get to me. Dey ran. Katia ran home. I ran home."

"Yeesus Christ," Eva said under her breath. She ran to the phone and called Liam. She gave him an abbreviated explanation.

"Can you get Sheriff? Den you come, please." Eva hung up the phone. She went to the kitchen and found Saimi making a cup of hot chocolate for Ellen, now at the kitchen table.

"Pappa on his vay home. He gonna haff Sheriff, too."

As soon as Liam arrived home with the Sheriff, Ellen ran to him. Liam picked her up and held her in his arms.

"It's all over, Ellen. Ye're safe now, darlin'," Liam said soothingly. He reached out a hand to Eva, still cradling the half-grown girl who was crying.

"Do you know who it was, Ellen?" the Sheriff asked.

Ellen answered from Liam's embrace. "It was David Haskins and Steven Albert. They are older boys."

"I have to ask you, young lady, what did they do to you?"

"They said they were looking for a puppy and they needed help. When we went behind the garage of the house they pushed us down on the ground. David had Katia and got her undergarments off. I slapped Steven and the owner of the house came home and the boys ran. Then Katia and I ran home."

"Thank you, Ellen," the Sheriff said. "I'll go talk to the other girl. They live on Maple Street? I know the man of the house very well."

When the Sheriff was ready to leave, Liam put Ellen down. Eva scooped up her daughter while Liam followed the sheriff out on the porch to speak privately.

"We'll arrest both of them, Dr. Dady. The girls may have to identify them before the judge."

"I want to talk to least one of them. I want to scare the shite out o' him, and I promise I won't hurt him—too much. Just turn yer eye for ten minutes."

"I'm not all in favor, Dr. Dady, but I can understand a father wanting to set things right for his daughter and her friend. I understand the other girl's father isn't all that much of one, nor is he much of a husband. So if you promise not to kill him or hospitalize him, go ahead. David Haskins has been a thorn in the town's side for a few years now. He should be in reform school. Maybe now he will be."

After the Sheriff left, Liam got the address of the leader of the duo from Ellen. He also found out where their meeting places were. He set out that very minute to find David Haskins. He knew Eva didn't get the gist of what he was going to do. She'd get it later.

"Go crack him in the head, Pappa Liam," Ellen said with a tinge of retribution on his way out the door.

The last thing Liam wanted to do on an evening after a long day at the hospital was to hide behind someone's lilac bush, waiting for a juvenile delinquent to appear. It reminded him of an earlier point in his life, though he certainly assaulted no girls. Just eejit Protestants in Belfast.

~~~

Thanks to a bit of good luck, Liam spotted the kid Ellen and the sheriff described. He seemed slightly bigger and taller than Liam but Liam knew himself to be smarter and probably more agile, not to mention a highly skilled former fist fighter. The longer he watched the arsebite coming toward him, the more Liam's anger burned thinking of the innocent nine-year-olds Ellen and Katia. In his mind it felt like Shaughnessy the pimp and Dolly all over again. He instinctively changed his posture, loosened his neck, and changed his facial expression to something ominous.

As David Haskins passed, Liam stepped out from behind the bush. He scared David to such an extent that the boy nearly collapsed to the slate sidewalk.

"What the fuck," David sputtered, awkwardly reconfiguring his body into a defensive stance.

"Yer not so tough are ye, when ye're alone?" Liam stood, shoulders square, fists at his side.

"Who the hell are you?" David tried to sound tough but was still in protective posture. Liam could see Haskins sizing him up.

"Right now, I'm yer worst enemy."

David tried to snicker but with lightning speed Liam grabbed him by the coat lapels with both hands and shoved him against a large maple tree next to the sidewalk. He knocked the wind out of David who by now had completely lost his composure at the full strength behind Liam's controlled anger.

"Who do ye think ye are, Haskins, trickin' and attackin' two defenseless little girls? Which one o' yez geniuses thought up the lost puppy lure?" Liam slapped Haskins' face, hard. His voice got firmer and more menacing. "I said, who the fuck do ye think ye are?" Liam shook him by the lapels.

"Nobody, nobody ... just ... don't hit me."

"Ye fuckin' coward. Look at ye cowerin'. Now ye know how those wee girls felt today." Liam slapped him again and in seconds smelled a vile smell. He looked down at Haskin's crotch. "Am I makin' ye piss yer trousers?"

"Yes ... just stop." David was now pleading in fear, arms in defense position, protecting his face. "I'm sorry."

"If ye ever touch my daughter or any other girl in this town again ye just may not live to say sorry, ye fuckin' piece o' shite." Liam loosened his grip on David's lapel, remaining strong and steady. He was still seething on the inside.

David Haskins, who'd been leaning against the tree with both hands up must have thought the assault on him was over because he lowered his arms. He was wrong. Liam punched him square in the solar plexus. It left Haskins floundering on the cold sidewalk gasping for air.

Liam turned and left Haskins in a fetal position on the ground. He walked back home slowly in an attempt to dissipate his anger. Now that he'd handled Haskins in his own way, the Sheriff would handle the legalities.

~~~

That night, Liam spent the rest of the evening consoling Ellen. Eva was there, too, in Ellen's bedroom, but it was Liam Ellen wanted. Eva was in the rocker. Liam and Ellen had been reading on the bed.

"Ye know, ye can't ever be afraid of boys, especially now. And ye can't hate all of them either. There's always a few 'bad apples' but don't let them spoil the whole bunch for ye."

"I know vhat you mean, Pappa. Dere are good boys at church and at school."

"Shall I read more for ye?"

"Is Katia gonna be all right?"

"I think she will be. Her attack didn't go as far as ye think. She was bruised and scared just like you. If ye think her Mam will let her come over more often, she can spend more time here with you, with us. That may help."

"It's a good idea," Ellen said. She stayed with Liam, his arm around her as they sat on the edge of the bed. After some time, she said, "Pappa, vhen I grow up, I vant a man just like you."

"I think you'll find just that someone, Ellen. You are not a girl to settle for anythin' less." He felt he was putting on airs. He did not think he was anything too special but he understood what Ellen was trying to say.

During the whole exchange, Eva sat mending socks and the dress Ellen had been wearing when she and Katia were attacked.

"Mamma, I'm not sure I want to wear that dress ever again. Can you put it away?"

"I can do dat, sveetheart. I not like it eidder."

"Mamma, can I sleep vit you and Pappa tonight?"

"Yes, you can, yust tonight. You have to be stronk tomorrow."

~~~

The next morning, Liam called Susanna. Katia came with her mother to see Liam at the hospital to be examined. She was bruised and still traumatized.

"Let's take a look at ye, darlin'," Liam said to Katia in the exam room. Susanna was present at his request.

"How did ye sleep last night?" he asked.

"I slept with Mamma. I'm still scared."

"Well, those boys are in jail and will go to trial. They won't scare ye any more. You may have to tell on them in front of the judge, then ye're done."

"Did Ellen sleep with her Mamma?"

"Yes, but her Mamma said just one night. Today she has to be a little stronger."

Liam told Katia what he told Ellen about not being afraid of every boy. "Ye're in charge of your life, Katia. You get to say what happens to ye." Liam saved one question for last. "Did anyone put his penis in you, Katia? It's important ye tell me and yer Mamma."

"No."

"That's good news. That's for yer husband someday, who loves ye."

As the nurse helped Katia get dressed, Liam took Susanna to a private room. Liam had thought Susanna was about to faint when he asked Katia the last question. He got her a drink of water from the wash sink in the room. "She's fine, Susanna. She'll need yer support and love. If she wants to talk about it, just be reassuring. Those boys won't be around to harm anyone again. Call me if you need to."

~~~

A day and a half later, whole town was talking about the arrest of David Haskins and Steven Albert for the assault of two little school girls. Liam hoped that the girls could remain anonymous but one never knew with the newspapers especially with reporters willing to pay for the information. When a reporter came to the hospital for the scoop, no one gave him any names. Right away, Dr. Andersen had made it quite clear that anyone in employment suspected of talking to the papers about either girl would be dismissed. He promised extra in their Christmas bonuses and if anyone talked, no one would get the bonus at all. Liam would have to talk to the Prosecutor about anonymity for the girls at the trial if they were to testify and how it would work if he testified in their stead as the case physician.

A few weeks later, Katia and Ellen were allowed to give their testimony before the judge in his chambers. The prosecutor and the boys' attorneys were present. The defendants were also present, as were Liam, Eva, and Susanna. It would not be a jury trial. The judge was to decide the defendants' fates. Liam testified as the victims' physician. His assault on Haskins was not brought up. Neither boy looked at anyone. David Haskins and Steven Albert were guilty of assault as charged. Both were given two years at a boys' reformatory in Minneapolis.

~~~

During the next few months, Eva had loved Liam's attention and pampering, but not the scolding.

"Let me rub yer feet," Liam would say at night while getting into bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress and pulled her swollen feet into his lap. She would moan and groan in pleasure and soreness.

"You vant me rub you somptink else, now ve are in bed?" Eva would want to reciprocate.

"Does it have to be my feet? Or do I get a choice?"

On weekends when he wasn't on call, Liam would set her up on the sofa covered with a blanket while she knit baby blankets and socks. He brought her _mehu_ or other tidbits of food.

"Next time I like cake, Liam. Don't brink me apple, yust cake."

"Yer hips are tellin' me apple, though."

"I don't hear my hip. I hear my belly. Cake, please."

Liam smiled and acquiesced.

Ellen, trying to get into the act, set herself up next to her Mamma, feet up, with her blanket in progress for a brother or sister. That didn't last long, though. It was Ellen's imperative to be up and about, so Eva suggested to her that dusting and sweeping would be a big help. Ellen swept and dusted the foyer, but didn't offer to do it again.

~~~

A week before Thanksgiving, Eva thought it would be a wonderful idea to have a turkey dinner and celebrate their first Thanksgiving. Eva ate the meal Saimi had prepared but had always been resistant to the American holiday, thinking she was betraying her heritage. Liam thought it was a grand idea.

"We can toast to Teddy Roosevelt," he said in jest.

Saimi knew what to do about all the foods since she had been a cook in an American household for years. She, Eva, and Ellen had fun procuring everything they needed and set about preparing an authentic American Thanksgiving feast. A farmer that Saimi knew butchered and cleaned a turkey. Eva did not want to do it herself. Well into her sixth month of pregnancy, she felt queasy about it. Saimi agreed that it would save them some time in preparation. Mr. Hirvonen delivered the twenty-pounder he'd wrapped in butcher paper in a wooden box on Wednesday afternoon. Eva had him put it on the _sauna_ porch where it was cold but not yet freezing.

~~~

On the morning of Thanksgiving, Eva woke up at her usual time. She knew Saimi would be up before dawn to boil and peel rutabagas to mash and make into a casserole, preparing the bread stuffing, then dressing the turkey and getting it into the oven. Dinner was scheduled for one o'clock. Saimi had decided to bake the two pumpkin pies the night before. They were in the cold pantry covered with linen towels. Eva's mouth watered at the fragrance that permeated the house and couldn't wait for the whipped cream and pie. She smiled when she recalled Liam teasing her about having one of the pies for her own. "The rest of us will make do with the second," he said.

Ellen, who always rose with whoever was up first was probably still sound asleep having not made her presence known as far as Eva could hear. Saimi left the kitchen when the turkey was in the oven for its five to six-hour slow-roast. Eva could hear her footsteps walk down the front hall then up the stairs in the foyer.

Eva was six, going on seven months pregnant, and couldn't get enough sex. She was so aroused around Liam. As she lay awake, she decided to use the chamber pot instead of going outside or upstairs. Returning to bed, Liam stirred. He rolled to Eva and gave her a sweet kiss.

"Good mornin'," he said.

"I vant you," she whispered.

"I thought so. Ye've been makin' me go to bed unusually early for weeks now. The minute ye're satisfied, ye want it again. Ye fell asleep last night, though."

"I was givink you rest."

He chuckled. He rolled over to use the chamber pot on his side of the bed, then snuggled back under the covers. "Are ye ready?"

"I vas ready haff hour ago." She gently grasped his erect penis. He pushed into her hand.

He laughed silently and began to inch her night gown up, kissing her engorged breasts. This roused her like nothing else. She splayed her arms and arched her back to give Liam full access. Her knees and legs spread to give his hand, or whatever else he wanted to use, full access.

Liam, propped on an elbow, looked at his wife in the pale dawn. He knew she was completely under the influence of his skillful foreplay. Her eyes were slits, her breasts heaving. She moaned as if she were purring.

He whispered, "I want to be inside ye."

She looked at him through her half open eyes, smiled and wiggled her bottom. He climbed on top with alacrity, careful not to put his weight on her belly. He found her slick and ready. He entered her and barely began a rhythm when she climaxed. He nudged her to kneel, entered her from behind and thrust a few times and came himself. He crawled back under the covers.

" _Minä rakastan sinua_ ," she murmured. She rolled to her side, facing him, and drifted off to sleep.

"I love ye, too," he whispered. He snuggled up to her, feeling the cozy pregnancy heat coming from her body like a stoked coal furnace. He laid his hand on her baby belly and dozed peacefully until the exuberant, sing-song voice of Ellen sounded in the kitchen some time later. He smiled.

~~~

As the women, including Ellen, helped each other in the kitchen in the late morning, Liam kept a close eye on Eva. He knew that a prolonged time of standing could cause her feet to swell. He went to the kitchen, barely able to sit and relax with the boarders in the parlor.

"I think you've been on your feet enough. It's time for you to sit." He escorted her from the kitchen to the sofa, sat her down, and put a hassock under her feet. Her bag of knitting was next to the loom. He fetched it for her.

"Liam, I don't vant to knit right now. I am fine, and Saimi need help in kitsen."

"Saimi is doing fine. Ellen and I can help."

"Liam—"

"Eva!" he snapped. "Just sit."

Ellen, standing next to Liam, interjected. "Liam, I don't vant a fight, so let Mamma go help. She is fine. She knows when to rest."

Standing in the middle of the parlor, Liam looked at his two women for several moments trying to out-think them. He opened his mouth as if it would help to continue to be so adamant, then closed it and threw up his hands in defeat. He did not want to break the fragile bridge he and Ellen had made with the Haskins incident. In his head he knew Eva was all right. His heart and emotions were much stronger than his head though, when it came to Eva and the pregnancy.

"Go ahead, but I'm still watching you," he said. "And do not go on the stairs to the cellar. Call me if ye need to get anythin' from the stores down there."

"I tell you vhat, I vork fifteen minute, den I come sit for 'vhile. I yust have some potatoes and carrots to peel and Saimi can have rest, too."

Liam sat in a large upholstered chair and picked up a magazine. "Fine, but I'm not altogether happy."

Eva walked to him, bent to give him a kiss on the nose, and then turned to go into the kitchen. He loved her and his baby growing inside her. He smiled as she waddled away. She put her hand on her back for support. He almost changed his mind but stayed mum with great willpower.

Liam eyed Ellen heading to her room, then back to the parlor, and then to the drawer in the parlor cabinet. She brought out the playing cards and sat on the floor in front of him.

"Let's play Eights."

"I may as well, your mother's not listenin' to me," he said. He smiled at Ellen and sat on the floor opposite her.

Ellen shuffled, smiling back, but in a devious way. "Let's play for nickels," she said. She plopped a large handful on the floor next to her knee still smiling deviously.

"Ye think ye're gonna take me for all I'm worth?"

Ellen gave him a toothy grin.

"Let me go get more change."

~~~

The dinner was delicious. Emil and Paul helped with the clean-up and soon everyone was lounging and dozing in the parlor, thankful they weren't outside in the gray, cold, freezing drizzle of the late afternoon.

"All I can say is, those people ye cooked for in Chicago better have appreciated what a talent ye were and still are," Liam said to Saimi. He was lying on the parlor floor next to Ellen.

Saimi smiled a 'thanks'. "I tink I go make some coffee."

"I can't believe I ate all dat," Ellen moaned. "I loved the stuffing and the pie."

"You have to write everytink down in paper for me, how to make it," Eva said. "I like stuffink and gravy."

"The pumpkin pie," Liam said dreamily, "with the whipped cream. It was nothin' short of heavenly..."

"Dere is still more," Saimi said. She left the parlor for the kitchen.

"Liam, I have been tinkink," Eva said a short while later.

"Should I be nervous?" he asked, quickly propping up on his elbow, feigning trepidation.

"Vhy you say dat?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

Feeling a tinge of regret, it was lost in translation, but smiled anyway, he said, "Never mind, what have you been thinkin'?"

"Vhy not Annie come here, if sees still vant to come?"

"I'll have to write and ask. If she wants to come, I'd love to have her. I take it then, ye wouldn't mind?"

"I know how mutts you miss. You love her like modder. I see you vit her ledders how mutts you read over."

"It's been so long and she hasn't said anything about comin'"

"Maybe she don't wanna puss. Sees need you ask first."

"I'll write tonight, then. Wouldn't it be grand?" he murmured.

### Chapter 15

Two weeks before Christmas, Eva was seven and a half months into her pregnancy. If she and Liam had figured correctly she'd gotten pregnant that first time at the lake, the first week in May. According to their calculations, the baby would arrive in early February.

Eva was acutely in knowledge of Liam's concerns about icy steps and walkways. He demanded she avoid any stairs in the house. Saimi volunteered to clean upstairs and to fetch anything in the cellar stores. She also offered to help Eva to the _sauna_ if Liam wasn't there or up the stairs to the bathroom, and on and on ... For now, Eva decided to stop arguing with Liam. There was no talking him out of anything. He wasn't going to let go of that fear easily, if at all. But her empathy for him was waning and her irritation was growing.

One early afternoon in mid-December, Eva relaxed in the parlor with her feet up on a hassock knitting a pair of baby socks. Suddenly the quiet afternoon was interrupted by a commotion in the street. She heard a horse whinny, men's loud voices. Then feet pounded on the wooden porch steps, frozen and squeaky. The door flew open.

"Ellen!" Eva exclaimed. She felt fear overwhelm her.

"Get back, Eva. She has the influenza." Liam spoke quietly yet with authority. Ellen was in his arms. "I don't want you to be infected, if ye're not already, God forbid."

"My baby!" Eva followed helplessly as Liam brought Ellen to her bed. Saimi followed them into the bedroom.

To Eva, Ellen seemed half dead. Why hadn't she seen anything that morning? Ellen had seemed a bit tired but willingly went to school.

"I'll take care of this one," Liam said of Ellen. "You take care of the one inside ye by stayin' away." He started to undress Ellen and get her into bed.

"Saimi, can ye be my assistant?" Liam asked. Saimi nodded. "Can ye get me a pan of cold water and a cloth, please?"

Eva stood in the doorway of Ellen's room, her heart aching for her daughter. She knew Liam was right. She couldn't tend to her. She had to tend to the unborn child. She implicitly entrusted Ellen to Liam. There was no other choice. He was a doctor, after all.

Ellen roused a little. Her fever appeared to turn to chills as Liam covered her with her quilt.

"Vhere's my Mamma?" Ellen whined weakly.

" _Olen täällä_ ," Eva called _I am here_ , trying not to sound panicked. "Pappa Liam says I have to take care of baby. Hees take care you. _Ymmärrätkö_?" Eva asked if Ellen understood. Her eyes welled but she put a good face on for Ellen. She could see Ellen's glassy and un-focused eyes. Her face was flushed brightly with fever that was now being overruled by violent chills.

"Yes, Mamma."

"You and I are going to spend some time together. How's that?" Liam spoke softly and tenderly to Ellen. He put her felt bear inside her arm. "Here's _Karhu_. He wants to be with you, too."

Ellen tried to smile, but it appeared as though her chills and pain were growing too overwhelming.

"You take care of me?" she asked.

"As long as it takes."

"Tank you," Ellen whispered, barely conscious.

Liam asked for his doctor bag. It had been left out front in the hallway by the cab driver. Saimi fetched it and set it down next to Liam.

"Saimi, every time that ye help in here, I want ye to wash your hands with soap and very warm water. And ye don't cook the food for the boarders. They may have to eat elsewhere for a few days. I don't want Eva in this side of the kitchen until this is over and I say Ellen isn't contagious anymore."

"Vhere I gonna go?" Eva said, giving it her all to stay calm for Ellen.

"Stay in our room, or the parlor. And I want you to keep yer hands clean, too. Ye can't be with either me or Ellen for a few days." Liam glanced at Eva. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I wish it wasn't happenin', but this is what we have at the moment. I love ye."

~~~

Eva knew that Liam was intensely worried about her and the baby above all else. She also knew that in spite of Ellen's on-again, off-again feelings for Liam, he loved Ellen and wanted her to recover. He would see to that, she was sure. His eyes told Eva so. Eva retreated as she was told and let Liam set his mind to Ellen.

~~~

"Her chills are waning," Liam said to Saimi. He took her temperature under her armpit and read it. "We need to get the fever down, it's too high." He spoke quietly so Eva would not hear. He didn't say how high the fever was—close to a hundred and four. _Jesus,_ he thought. _It's time to get to work._ "Can ye get some towels wet with cold water and wring them out? We'll put them on her body and head to cool her off. Ye'll have to keep them comin'."

Ellen fussed and whined with the intrusion of cold.

"I know, darlin', but they'll take the hot feelin' away for a while." Liam spoke with a combination of doctor's orders and compassion.

"I feel no good," Ellen murmured, her brow creased in a frown.

"I'll take care of ye, sweetheart. I'll be here the whole time," he said in soothing tones.

She coughed hard. "My head hurts."

"Try to sleep now," he said softly. "Sleep is good."

"Vhere my Mamma?" Ellen's words were slurred, and she was on the verge of crying.

"In the other room, sweetheart. Doctor's orders. She can't get sick. She has the baby."

Ellen nodded, then drifted off into fitful dozing. Soon after, she went into another period of chills. Liam pulled the cold towels off and gave them back to Anna, asking her to re-wet them under the tap for later. He pulled the quilt over Ellen.

A while later Saimi informed Liam that she had met Emil and Paul at the front door when they'd arrived home from work. They were concerned for Ellen and went to Murphy's to eat, agreeing to do so for a few days. Neither one wanted to catch influenza.

~~~

The cold towels were changed many times throughout the night. Liam fed Ellen _mehu_ that had been chilled in the ice box in her favorite cup. The cup had the area's indigenous animals painted on it. Liam got her to use the chamber pot. They had a chair with a pot that Saimi brought down from the second floor.

As Ellen sat on it, she suddenly murmured. "It doesn't ...Don't let the raccoons in ..."

"I won't, darlin', don't worry about that." Liam said, knowing what was going on.

"Dat's fever talkink," Saimi said from the kitchen.

"Yes, it is," he said. He wiped Ellen with a cloth and put her back to bed.

"I ... get the ... push it."

"Everythin' is fine, Ellen, go back to sleep," Liam spoke softly. He examined the chamber pot contents. "We'll have to get more juice in her, Saimi. She doesn't have much urine in here."

Anna poured another cup of _mehu_ and put it on the table they set up at the doorway. Liam sat Ellen up and slowly fed her the juice.

"Good girl. Ye drank it all."

Ellen coughed hard and moaned in pain, but soon she was sleeping. She managed to stay asleep for quite a while. Liam took her temperature shortly after she fell asleep, this time rectally. It had gone down a degree or two. _Excellent,_ he thought.

"It's down," he said to Saimi. "That's good news. We can stop the cold towels for now. I suggest you go to sleep. I'll be fine for a while."

"I do dat right here on the day bed. Call if you need me."

Liam sat in the rocker dozing for a few minutes here and there. He would wake easily when Ellen stirred. He heard Eva up and about from time to time. At one point she peeked around the far side of the kitchen. He whispered to her.

"Her fever is down," he said. "That's good news. I know ye're worried, love. It's not the worst case I've seen but it's ridin' roughshod over her. She's a tough nugget."

"Sees good fighter," Eva whispered, her voice choking.

"Please eat somethin'. You have to keep that up, do ye hear?"

"I hear you," she said. She had moved to their bedroom door. He heard her crying.

"I love ye," he called. "Get some sleep after ye eat." His heart ached for her but she would have to tough it out on her own. He leaned his head back on the rocker and closed his eyes. He heard Eva in the background. He assumed she was getting something to eat.

~~~

Trying not to wake Saimi on the daybed in the kitchen, Eva ate some cold _kropsu_ , pancake batter baked in a dish. She found it in the pie safe sprinkled with sugar. She poured a glass of milk to go with it. After using the chamber pot and washing, she returned to her bedroom. She tried to stay awake but soon found herself wanting to lie down on the bed. She pulled a quilt over her and began to cry. She wanted so badly to go to Ellen and take care of her. Ellen was as healthy as a horse other than a sniffle here and there and it bothered Eva that the one time her daughter got really sick, she couldn't be near her. She understood that the influenza was not severe and she thanked God for that. And yet she knew it was not a mild case either. She calmed at how gentle Liam was with Ellen. He was truly good with her. After a while Eva's tears put her to sleep. She desperately needed the rest.

~~~

Two days later Ellen's fever broke.

"Look how ye're sweatin'! Ye're soaked," Liam said softly to Ellen. "Saimi has a fresh nightgown for ye after we clean ye up a bit and change the bed."

"I feel liddle bedder." Ellen smiled weakly. "I still have bad headache and my cough hurts it. I feel sore, too."

"That nasty flu-bug does that. It's good yer fever's gone now. It won't be but a few days and yer Mamma can come hold ye."

"Is Mamma all right?"

"Oh, aye, and the baby's fine, too. She still could catch it. That's why she can't come to ye quite yet. Sometimes the bug hangs on yer clothes and in yer runny nose."

"Are they bugs like outdoors?"

"No. They are called that as a wee nick-name. Ye can't see 'em with yer naked eye. Ye have to use a microscope."

"I want to see," Ellen said.

"I can tell ye're gettin' better, ye're interested in things."

"You need a shave. Your whiskers are very dark," she announced.

He smiled at her. "I can't wait to get into the _sauna_ , but only when I think ye well enough for me to leave ye."

"You stayed with me?"

"Aye."

"The whole time?"

"Oh, aye." He smiled.

As they chatted, he cleaned Ellen with a warm wet cloth. He wiped all the filmy sweat off her, then dried her and put her into a warm, dry nightgown. He sat Ellen in the rocker while he stripped the sick bed, soon to be replaced by fresh sheets and blankets. He carefully put the dirty linens into a basket that Saimi would take to the _sauna_ to boil. He brushed Ellen's hair gently and put a new braid in.

"Can I have some _mehu_?" she asked.

"Ye sure can," he answered, and poured some in her cup at the side table.

After she drank the cup of juice, he laid her back in the bed. "In a while I want you to get some beef broth."

"As long as I don't have to eat too much. I do not feel very hungry."

"Doesn't it feel better now that ye're warm and dry?" He covered her in the fresh flannel sheet.

"No more cold towels?" She lied back on the pillows. "I remember that."

"No, sweetheart, we don't need to use them anymore. That was to keep the fever from gettin' too high. Now that the fever is done, we'll just keep ye warm." He sat in the rocker and leaned over to the table to get a book to read to her. He picked up a Mark Twain.

"I feel like taking another nap. Can you read to me later, Pappa?"

"I can surely. What would ye like to hear when ye wake?" He could tell she was running out of the tiny spurt of energy she got when the fever abated.

"Will you read the doctor book on all the diseases people can get?"

He stifled a surprised snicker at Ellen's choice of reading material. He thought she'd choose something like Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn. Instead, Ellen wanted to read medical texts. He couldn't wait to tell Eva that one.

"I will get that one ready for later," he replied.

Ellen snuggled in with _Karhu_. Her brow was still furrowed. Liam stroked her forehead with his thumb until she fell asleep.

Once she was out he put his head back on the rocker and breathed a deep sigh of relief. He was grateful for Ellen's progress. He didn't tell Eva about the four other children who had come down with the flu at the same time Ellen did. He was curious as to how they were doing. He hoped well. He would call Dr. Andersen later.

As Liam tried to relax from the nervous energy he had been running on for the last three days, many thoughts crossed his mind. He missed Eva. He marveled at the child she and Victor had created, and he felt sorry that Ellen's father wasn't going to be here to see what she would become. He thought perhaps Victor Mattson saw from wherever he was now. He felt comforted that perhaps Dolly saw him, too, and was proud of what he was becoming. Exhausted, tears began to flow through his closed eyes.

~~~

That next morning was _sauna_ day and Ellen was sleeping. Liam watched from the kitchen window as Eva went into the _sauna_ to bathe with Saimi's help. He was still purposefully avoiding Eva until he washed completely and changed clothes. After Eva returned from the _sauna_ , he and she crossed a wide path in the kitchen, looking longingly at each other. Liam made his way to the _sauna_. He breathed the outside air for the first time in nearly a week. It was cold but fresh and clean. He stripped his clothes in the dressing room and put them in a special basket of linens and things that Saimi would boil later. He sat on the top bench and took some steam. He felt just how exhausted he really was. It reminded him of his days at school in Edinburgh and the long hours at the hospital. He had stayed with Ellen from Monday afternoon to just a while ago—the better part of five days. Eva would be able to be with Ellen on Monday. It should be safe enough. He was relieved. He could sleep with Eva tonight. He was wondering just how "playful" he wasn't going to be since he was so damn tired. His back ached from dozing in the rocker for too many nights. He sat like a lump on the high bench just enjoying the hot, moist air and feeling his muscles loosen. He noticed, with affection, that Eva had fixed his buckets of water for washing. They were sitting on the far edge of the bottom bench.

Later, when he finished drying, he pulled some clean clothes from a basket in the dressing room. Eva had folded them days ago and sat there for someone else to carry in.

"Ye're a good girl, Eva," he said out loud, grateful that she hadn't picked up the heavy basket. In his current mental state, he was beginning to see he was being more than a wee bit overprotective. He knew he should try to pull the reins back a little but Dolly's death could still be so raw at times. He loved Eva for being tolerant towards him although he could tell he drove her mad at times. She had not said much since September and the argument about picking apples although he had given her much reason to. He felt remorseful and decided he would try to let it be. He became emotional when he realized how lucky he was that Eva and the baby stayed out of danger and that Ellen was on the mend. He realized he desperately needed to see Eva—to touch her, to have her touch him and kiss him "hello." He put on his boots and coat and hurried from the _sauna_ to his Eva, carrying the basket of clean, folded clothes.

~~~

Eva's heart leapt when Liam walked into the bedroom. He put the basket of clothes down on the floor. She was sitting at her dresser in a flannel nightgown, combing out her nearly-dried hair. She jumped up and went to his arms. They held each other close for many moments. Then he kissed her thoroughly and long, leaving her breathless and roused. "I see my girl is gettink bedder and bedder. I say 'hello' to her from sink to her room." Eva was feeling relief that this would soon be over.

"She's a strong girl." Liam kissed her again. "I need ye, Eva. Can we lie down for a while?"

"Ve can do dat." She wanted to accommodate him.

"I know it's early, but I need to hold ye desperately." He looked at the alarm clock. It was four-thirty.

"I feel verdy sexy," she whispered.

"Ye do? Let's see what I can do for ye, then."

They disrobed and crawled into bed. Eva shivered at the chill in the air.

"Let's get ye warm," he said and pulled her close to him.

Eva felt so aroused, she pulled Liam's hand between her legs. She helped him bring her to orgasm. She immediately started on him with her hand, but he stopped her.

"I want ye, but I'm so damned exhausted. Can ye save it for later, please?"

"Can I hold you den?"

He turned and settled his bottom into her belly. Her arm went around him.

"Eva, I think yer belly got bigger this week."

"Vell, it getting toward birt time."

"I missed ye," he whispered.

She kissed his ear.

"You smell like Ivory soap." She sniffed him, tickling his neck. She paused and felt her emotions overcome her. "Liam."

"Hmmm?" He looked over his shoulder, seemingly sensing her emotions. He rolled to face her.

"Tank you ... for Ellen." She cuddled even closer. A floodgate opened and she let it all out.

"Eva, darlin', come to me," he whispered. He pulled her close. He rocked her and whispered loving things into her hair.

The crisis was over.

### Chapter 16

It was early February and the winter was a typical Minnesota North Country winter—bitterly cold, snowy, and windy. One afternoon, Eva sat in the rocker in the kitchen with Saimi. The weather had been threatening all day and had just begun to blow.

"I think it's supposed to snow," Eva said in Finnish. Her belly covered most of her lap. "It feels and looks like it."

"How do you feel, Eva?" Saimi asked.

"I feel very close."

For the last few days, Eva sensed the same shift in her pregnancy she'd felt when she was nearing Ellen's birth. The baby had moved and she was feeling it in her back. She felt like she could barely walk. Liam was getting on her nerves about her safety. The chamber-pot-in-the-chair stayed downstairs for her to use. He refused to let her go upstairs at all. Nor did he let her go out on her own to the _sauna_ or the privy.

"Don't try it, Eva," he had warned from the parlor the evening before. She had started for the stairs to use the upstairs bathroom. It was after supper and he was reading the paper. Ellen and the others were lounging with reading materials of their own.

Eva stopped in her tracks and gave Liam the meanest look she could muster. She stomped as best she could to the bedroom and the chair. Before she sat, she locked the little hook and eye in the door. "Don't come in!" she yelled through the door. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Liam tried to enter right when she was sitting.

"Eva, open up."

"Vhat! I am sittink on dis God damn tink!"

"I'm sorry. Let me in."

"Go!" She started to cry. "I can't do nottink. I hate you. You are son-of-a-bitts."

Liam didn't wait. He pushed the door, popped the little lock out of the woodwork, and came in.

"I told you—" she yelled.

"I know what ye told me. I want to say 'sorry,'" he said softly. "I'll fix the door."

"I vant dis baby come," she wailed.

He knelt in front of her and held her.

Eva cried and cried as Liam tended to her. She felt like a child but she didn't give a damn. When he was done wiping her and let him undress her. He slipped her nightgown over her head. He brushed her teeth for her at the kitchen sink and gave her a drink of water. Then he helped her into the bed.

"I'll see to Ellen, then I'll be in." He leaned over to kiss her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Eva didn't say anything. She was exhausted and she wanted to pout.

~~~

The next evening, Liam was headed home at five. There were plenty of patients to see at the hospital all day, Dr. Andersen had told him to go home. Liam had kept Andersen abreast of Eva's condition all along. Eva had come in once or twice, so Liam could have a second opinion on her pregnancy. She'd been on his mind nearly all day, every day, for the last week or so, except when he was with a patient. The waiting was downright aggravating. It was eating at him. The night before, he'd made her lose her composure all together. _Jesus, I can be a bastard_ , he thought with remorse. The baby was due any second and he was getting nervous. Perhaps it was good that Dr. Andersen was scheduled to deliver their baby.

February could be cruel and it was just that at the present. The snow that threatened yesterday had come in with a vengeance earlier that afternoon. Liam stepped out the front door of the hospital and was shocked at the raging blizzard. He nearly lost his cap in the wind. Without mercy, the snow hit his face like sharp shards of glass. He tried to look around for a cab but it was hard to open his eyes with the pelting snow. Seemingly out of nowhere, a cab pulled up right in front of him.

"You're lucky I spotted you coming out," the cabbie said, yelling over the howling wind. "It's turning into a full-blown blizzard, Doctor Dady. Let me get you home." Liam knew Mack the cabbie from Liam's many house-calls over the last months. In addition to the house-calls, Mack would always pick Liam up every morning and drop him off in the evenings.

"Thanks, Mack," Liam said. He was relieved to find him there. He climbed in the covered cab, out of the wind-driven pelting snow. "There'll be a big tip for ye, surely. Best get this horse up and dry after that."

"Don't worry, I take good care of this mare. Dolly's a good one. She's my bread and butter."

Liam smiled poignantly at the roan's name. He had never thought to ask what it was before.

At the house now, Liam paid Mack double what he normally paid and got out of the cab. He quickly went to the mare and gave her a pat on her wet neck. She nickered in a friendly response.

"Thanks, Dolly. Ye get home now, ye hear? Stay warm tonight." He waved to Mack, and then carefully made his way on the icy walk in the blowing snow. From the covered front porch of the boarding house, he briefly watched Mack and Dolly turn around in the increasingly snow-filled road.

Inside the house, it was toasty warm. The fragrance of baked ham hit his nose with pleasure. As he took a deep breath and took his coat off, Ellen ran up to him from the kitchen. Excitement and trepidation were in her face.

"Mamma," Ellen said. She pointed to the kitchen.

Since her bout with the flu, Ellen had had a strong shift in her treatment and acceptance of Liam. She rarely argued with him and on occasion, called him Pappa Liam. Eva had told him that she had asked Ellen about her change of heart one day around Christmas.

"See says you took care her like a Pappa-Doctor should. You not sleep at all, and you read doctor books to her, like sees ask."

"That's true, I did."

"I ask her vhat else, and sees says you smack David Haskins for hurting her and Katia. Sees know den you care 'bout her."

"How did she find out about that?" Liam was curious. "It wasn't meant to be known by her."

"Sees find out at school," Eva had told him. "Nobody know who it vas smack bad boy, but Ellen knew."

Now, he looked toward the kitchen and didn't see Eva. "Mamma what, Ellen?"

"She started to have her belly tighten," Ellen explained, rubbing her own belly.

He absorbed Ellen's emotions immediately. He took off his boots and put on his indoor mocs as fast as he could. He tried not to convey his anxiety. He felt sick to his stomach. He made his way through the foyer. In the kitchen he said a quick "hello" to Saimi, and then went to the bedroom. There, he found Eva rocking in the big wooden rocker. Ellen was tagging along and moved to stand next to her mother.

"No water yet?" Liam bent to kiss Eva. She was calm but alert.

"Not yet. I have ... vhat you call it?" She squeezed her hands and fingers around her baby belly, indicating a tightening.

"Contractions."

"Yes, _supistukset_ , for lil vhile now."

"Since ..." Liam pushed her for more information.

"Mid-day."

"That long? I asked ye to call if anything started."

"I vasn't see-yure."

He could have kept on scolding her, but decided not to. He was home now. Now was what counted. He also remembered last night when he made Eva cry.

"If this baby's comin' tonight," he said, "which it seems it is, we'll have to deliver it. The weather will prohibit Dr. Andersen from coming and I'm sure as hell not takin' ye to the hospital in a blizzard."

"Dat bad now?" she asked.

"It's startin' to howl."

They looked at each other, hearing the strong wind gusts buffeting the house.

"Dis happen vhen Ellen come."

Liam bent to kiss Eva again, then turned to Saimi who was in the kitchen. "Can you make sure we have the kerosene lamps available if the electricity goes out?" he asked.

"I can do dat," Saimi said. She left for the cellar where the lamps were stored.

Liam knelt in front of Eva in the rocker and put his hand on her very big belly. He stared into her big blues. It was a long gaze, during which he gathered his strength. They both smiled. "We're goin' to do this and it's goin' to be fine," he stated with confidence ... outwardly. Inside, he was raging with anxiety.

"I haff good fait in you." She put her hand on his cold cheek and rubbed it. Then she put her other hand on his other cheek and tried to warm each one. She got a little silly and smushed his cheeks together. He pulled away, smiling and feigning irritation. He stood up and planted a soft kiss on the nose.

"I see Saimi has supper ready. Do ye think I could have a bite? Nothin's happenin' at the moment."

"Go, Liam. I come to be vit you and Ellen at table. I don't tink I eat now. I eat plenty later."

"I want ye to drink. Ye need some fluids." He spoke with his best doctor authority.

In the kitchen, the _mehu_ was brought out from the cold pantry. A couple of quarts were put in the ice box. The little family sat at the kitchen table.

After supper, Liam read to Ellen about the visceral organs from his anatomy text. When he finished, she yawned. "I'm going to bed," she announced. "Vhen I wake up, I'll see if I have a brother or sister."

"Goodnight," Liam and Eva said in unison.

"Bruss you teet," Eva reminded.

Ellen kissed Liam's cheek and gave her mother a hug and kiss. "Have a good time, Mamma."

Liam and Eva laughed as Ellen headed to the bathroom upstairs. After a few minutes, Ellen decided to come back in.

"I'm too excited about the baby. I'd like to stay up."

"If you like. I don't tink you vill haff school tomorrow," Eva said.

~~~

Over the next few hours, it was just contractions every so often. Eva's back felt more and more pressure and she became increasingly uncomfortable. Liam and Ellen passed the time by discussing girls and medical school. Eva watched the two from the rocker, pleased with Ellen's turn-around.

A short while after Liam had helped Ellen through the flu, she'd declared what she wanted to do when she grew up. "I'm gonna be a doctor like my Pappa Liam."

"Not many women are doctors, Ellen," Liam explained, "but maybe you can be among the first. I think more would be if they weren't afraid of some men who work to keep them out."

"I won't be afraid. I will do what I want," Ellen declared. "Miss Lehto says women need the vote in every state. I agree with her."

"I have a strong feelin' you'll succeed. I think women should have the vote, too," he responded, thinking of how Ellen's teacher had told them earlier that fall that Ellen was performing better than a lot of the students who were four and five years older. Miss Lehto, a twenty-three-year-old first-generation Finn-American, had taken a keen interest in Ellen and her abilities. Two years prior, she had talked to Eva and Victor about tutoring Ellen at her home in general academics a couple afternoons a week because the Principal at the school was not in favor of Ellen being accelerated to a higher grade.

"If she were a boy, I'd consider it," the principal had said. "But what is she going to do, become a doctor or lawyer? I doubt it. Maybe she'll graduate, get married to a doctor, and have babies." Miss Lehto bristled when she related the story.

Despite the Principal's objections, Miss Lehto had assured Liam and Eva that she was going to nurture Ellen Mattson's extraordinary academic abilities anyway. If it was on Miss Lehto's own time, then so be it.

"If Ellen wants it, I'll work around the unfair system," Miss Lehto told the Dadys.

"If it's on yer own time, we'll pay ye," Liam replied. They promptly set an hourly fee.

~~~

"Liam."

"What!" he yelled. Perplexed, he flew out of bed, falling on his knees, which made Eva giggle.

"Vhat you doink?" she teased him. She was standing in the middle of the bedroom.

"Are ye all right?" He looked at the clock. It said three-thirty. _Orient yerself, Liam!_ He blinked his eyes several times to get rid of the cloudy blur.

"Vadder yust break. Can you get towel to vipe floor?"

Liam had asked Saimi earlier to sleep on the day bed in the kitchen so she could be available when the time came to assist him. She'd gotten a supply of towels, blankets, and bedclothes at the ready along with the kerosene lamps many hours ago, which were now lit. The electricity had gone down.

"Saimi," Liam called and started toward the kitchen.

Saimi was already on the way with a towel in hand. She cleaned up where Eva had been standing. "You can go back to bed," Saimi said to Liam as he helped Eva to the bed. "Tink of somptink to do vit Eva to help dis go faster, Liam. You von't need me for a vile. Ellen vent to bed."

"Thank you, Saimi." Liam closed the bedroom door.

Eva saw his puzzled look and smiled. "After vadder break, sometimes sex speed up baby comink," she said.

"I remember, now, hearing that at medical school. All the students laughed, including me."

Eva said: "If you vanna laugh, dat's fine vit me. I start to feel lil frisky. I tink you come to me." She was hugely pregnant, but nonetheless intensely sexy, Liam thought. She lumbered back on the bed, then blatantly pulled her nightgown up around her waist and began to massage her own breasts. She laughed as Liam grew crimson, gawking at her wantonness. She began to moan from touching her own swelled, dark purple areola, her nipples quickly turning big and hard as cherries.

"Jesus Eva, ye're killin' me." He stood at the side of the bed and began to rub his genitals through his trousers. He undid them and dropped them on the floor, stepping out of the crumpled heap of clothing. He watched her stare at his erection. He looked at her swollen belly. "I want ye."

"Use you mout. I feel crazy for dat." She spread her knees.

"Ye're done with foreplay then?"

"Come!" she said, still laughing.

He climbed carefully on the bed and put his tongue where she wanted it and firmly licked. He could barely wait to relieve his own hardness.

The orgasm took her hard. She bucked her hips and barely suppressed a scream.

"Dat grip hard, after good strong vone. Liam, you are sexy boy." She worked to push herself up on the pillows. "Come here and put you hands on dis bed." She pointed to the headboard. "Den I can use my mout on you."

Liam still gawked but moved obediently into position going on a sex ride with Eva holding the reins. He could hear himself using the Lord's name, not in vain, but perhaps in thanks. It was all so—naughty, he thought to himself, as he climaxed, bucking and grunting to every pulse.

He barely crawled off her when he collapsed on the bed. He still felt stunned at what they just did to each other. "I hope the baby doesn't come this second because I don't think I'll be able to get up for a while."

Still mirthful, Eva said, "Aren't you happy ve not go to hospital?"

He laughed breathlessly. "You are a sexy, naughty girl."

Her next contraction came roughly ten minutes after the one the orgasm set off. Liam knew it was time to pull his trousers and shirt back on. He went to the door, opened it, and asked Saimi to put a pot of coffee on.

" _Kahvi_ ready," he heard from the other side.

He hesitated before he went to face Saimi after the almost feral sex he and Eva had, within Saimi's earshot.

"I hope we weren't too noisy," he said, feeling the heat of embarrassment. He walked into the kitchen to fix a coffee for himself.

"Of course, you vere noisy." Saimi tried to stifle a snicker but couldn't, sounding more like a little "hick," She seemed to enjoy seeing him blush wildly.

He retreated quickly into the bedroom with his mug of coffee. He found Eva in a strong contraction, her mirth gone. She was getting down to birthing this baby. He swiftly went to her. "I guess the orgasm does help," he said. "What do ye need, darlin'?"

"Yust hold my hand vhen I have con—"

"Contractions, sweetheart."

Saimi brought in a pan of cool water and a cloth to wipe Eva's face. She put the pan on the bedside table and left the two alone in the room, staying in the kitchen, seemingly ready to help. Liam wrung out the cloth and dabbed Eva's forehead and cheeks.

~~~

Streams of sweat poured from Eva's hairline. She was in full labor. In a moment between contractions, she looked at Liam, studying his face, trying to read it. She saw a bit of concern, but mostly she saw him in a state of—she didn't know what to call it—but he was in full doctor function. She had never seen him like that before. Perhaps she'd seen it a little when he took care of her after Victor died and when Ellen was sick, but she hadn't been focused on Liam at the time. At present, he was focused only on the patient at hand, and nothing was going to take him from that. She was so proud and in awe of him.

Then another contraction overwhelmed her. She moaned in intense discomfort. She looked to Liam for comfort and assurance. As he watched her vaginal area, she didn't see confidence in his face.

"Vhat?" she asked.

"Nothin'." Liam saw bright red blood coming from the vagina. Not much, but something was bleeding, something that wasn't supposed to be. _Christ, what do I do now? Just stay calm. It's only a little blood. I'll change the subject._ "Will it help if ye take yer nightgown off?" he asked. "Ye're sweatin'."

She nodded and he helped her remove it.

He stood to examine her vaginal opening. Still seeing some discharge and a small amount of bright red blood, he reached for a folded sheet to place underneath her to catch any more. He feared it would become more profuse as the birth continued.

"I need to check yer dilation," he said. "I'll have to use my hand." Liam asked Saimi to bring him soap, a clean towel, and a pan of hot water. He washed and got Eva ready for his internal exam. "It'll be uncomfortable," he said. "But I want to know where ye are."

She endured it well.

Liam's belly churned. "Ye're fully dilated, sweetheart. I even felt the baby's head. It's comin'." He smiled another reassuring smile.

Eva went into another big contraction. She cried out.

The pain was getting worse. Liam's anxiety was growing. _Whatever's bleedin', it could be exacerbated by the advancing labor, but it could also stop. So far, it hasn't gotten worse. Just keep comin', baby, the faster, the better._

"The head's comin'," he said. "Next time, push a little more." He thought of something. "Saimi, can ye come in and put yerself behind Eva so she can have support to push?"

Saimi diligently did as instructed.

A short time later, Ellen showed up at the bedroom door, sleepy and rubbing her eyes. "Vhat time is it? Vhat is dis? Vhy you in the bedroom, Saimi?"

"You Mamma is havink baby, Ellen. Ve are helping."

"Can I help?"

"Stand by me," Liam said. "You can see the head coming." He saw no more blood, but no less, either _. Ellen would not know the difference. If somethin' happens, I'll have Saimi take her out of the room._

"Is that where the baby comes out?" Ellen asked. "I vas vondering 'bout dat."

When another contraction came, Eva pushed, yelling and growling. Tears were beginning to flow.

Ellen became greatly concerned. "Mamma, vhy are you yellink? Pappa, help her!"

"It's not unusual for women to yell when they give birth," he said. "Go hold her hand. She'll like that."

There was one more rush of bright red blood, but after that there was nothing. Liam's private vigil would last a while longer. He did breathe a little easier, however.

Ellen stayed with her Mamma until her little half-sibling started to emerge.

"Dark hair," Liam said. "One more big push, Eva, and ye're done. I don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. I have to turn it over."

~~~

Elisabet Eva Dady was born. It was February eleventh, 1903. They would call her Liisa, after Eva's sister.

"Liam, you haff lil girl," Eva cooed. "I see dark hair." Eva looked at the first-time father, who happened to be her man. She felt so in love.

"Come, Ellen, see your new sister," Liam said, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Come with a towel. Let's wipe her down and wrap her up. Mamma will want to feed her. And we have to clip her cord."

"Will it hurt?" Ellen asked.

"No. The baby can't feel it." As Liam spoke, the afterbirth delivered.

"That is disgusting," Ellen said.

"You can't feel that way if ye're goin' to be a doctor. We have to stomach a lot."

"Fine, I'll stomach it later." Ellen paused and looked at the newborn. She smiled and gave her little sister a kiss on her fuzzy cheek. "I am very hungry and I need some cake. I'll stomach that. But first I need to know, why is she so wrinkly?"

"You would be, too, if you'd spent nine months in water."

"I get that way in the tub. I'm getting that cake." Ellen left.

Saimi busied herself with cleaning up. She took the sheet with the afterbirth, folded it, and put it into a bucket.

Liam was still tending to the baby when Saimi took a good look at her. "Sees haff Liam's hair, so dark and curly. She has his look, too, Eva. Wait 'til you see. Sees pretty girl. _Kaunis tyttö_." Saimi went into the kitchen with the placenta in a bucket.

Liam weighed Liisa on the scale he'd borrowed from the hospital. "Seven pounds, two ounces," he announced and wrote it down for the record.

"Dat good?" Eva asked, still sweaty.

"Aye, it's a good weight. Many are born smaller and considered healthy." He walked to Eva with the infant, who was starting to squawk. "Are ye ready, Mamma?"

"Sees lil hungry."

As Liam gave Liisa to her, Eva grinned from ear to ear. Liam sat on the edge of the bed, watching his brand-new baby start to suckle on Eva's engorged breast. Eva looked at him, smiling, and he began to cry again, tears of joy and exhaustion. She glanced out the window and noticed it was dawn. The blizzard of the night before was still pounding away. Eva pulled him close. As he bent down to meet her, she leaned up to kiss him.

"You vere good doctor," she said. "I am so proud. I never see you like dat."

"You were an easy patient. Ye didn't yell at me once!" He smiled. He paused as he gazed at her, studying her as a new mother. A feeling of awe overcame him. "Ye're so beautiful right now. Ye just had my baby, Eva. Ye're so strong. Ye weren't even afraid."

Eva deftly took Liisa off the one breast and turned her to the other one. "You 'fraid," Eva said, gazing fiercely into his eyes. "I see somptink last night in you face."

"Aye, I was. But everything seems fine now. I will still watch you for the next while."

Eva took a few breaths, still gazing into his eyes, still looking for more. "I luff you," she whispered.

Saimi called from the kitchen, "Ellen has cut bik piece of cake for herself, Mamma, yust to let you know." Then she said to Ellen loudly enough for Liam and Eva to hear, "Don't you vanna see you baby sister?"

"Yes, I do," Ellen said from the kitchen. "I'm celebrating. When I finish my cake, I'll come back in."

"I make some pancakes for breakfast." Saimi said. "Den I go to bed upstairs for 'vhile.

"Good," Ellen said. "I'm hungry. I'll come help you in a while." Ellen left the kitchen with the last bites of her cake in her mouth.

"It was a new thing for me," Ellen said. She still had cake in her mouth. "Pappa Liam helped you have a baby. You yelled and yelled, but you are fine anyway. I still know exactly what I vant to be vhen I grow up."

"Vhat's dat, Ellen," Eva asked.

"I vant to be just like Pappa Liam."

~~~

It was March twelfth and Ellen's tenth birthday. Although Mamma had been up for many nights with the baby, that morning Ellen found her up and in the kitchen with Pappa Liam. She had come out of her room that morning dressed in her best church clothes. Her hair was combed and bunched into a bun at the base of her head. She looked at her bleary-eyed parents both sitting at the kitchen table nursing cups of coffee.

"Where's the baby?" Ellen asked.

"Sees sleepink."

"She's backwards."

"If ye mean she stays up all night and sleeps in the day, aye, she's backwards," Liam quipped.

" _Hyvää syntymäpäivää_ ," Eva said to her daughter. She opened her arms for her ten-year-old to receive a birthday hug.

"I haven't heard that one. HOO-veh ...?" Liam often asked about words or small phrases. He was usually snickered at when he attempted to pronounce them.

"It means 'Happy Birthday'," Ellen explained. She went to Liam's open arm, inviting her for a hug.

"How old are ye, then?" he asked.

For many days now, Ellen had been announcing that her tenth birthday was coming up. She smiled, recognizing the tease. "Ten!" she said.

"You sit. I haff _plattu_ for you." Eva pointed to a covered plate on the stove. It was piled high with the crepe-like pancakes.

"Ummm! My favorite," Ellen cooed. "I can get them, Mamma."

Using her stool, Ellen took a plate from the shelf. She put several of the pancakes on it and then came to the table. She spread strawberry preserves on the _plattu_ from the crock on the table then sat down and commenced to devour the monstrous heap.

"Ye eat like yer mother does," Liam said.

Eva smacked his arm.

"Ve have cake tonight after supper."

"And a present, I hope." Ellen wiggled her eye brows, making Liam and Eva snicker.

"Ve see 'bout it . . ." Eva said, wiggling her own eye brows.

Ellen snickered.

From the bedroom, one-month-old Liisa began to sputter and fuss. Eva started to get up. Liam held up his hand and put his coffee cup down.

Ever vigilant, Ellen went into observation mode as she ate her breakfast.

"I've got a while before I have to leave, I'll get her," Liam said.

"I get you breakfast," Eva said. She went to the stove with a plate for Liam, piling the rest of the _plattu_ on his plate. She took it back to the table.

Ellen could see that her step-Pappa loved his baby daughter. He spent much of his home time with her close to him, cuddling and talking to her. Ellen thought Liam was very good at paying attention to everyone, not leaving anyone out.

"All I can see is a fuzzy black head with fists flailin'," Liam reported from the bedroom. Liisa was in a full-blown wail.

"Sweetheart, love," Liam said sweetly, "what's all this, then?"

Ellen could see him from her seat. She watched him pick up the baby and smell what the matter was. She laughed at his scrunched-up expression.

"It's nothin' much, Mamma. Just a nappie full o' baby shite."

"Irish people talk funny," Ellen announced through a mouth full of pancakes.

"What about Finnish people?"

"I don't talk funny," Ellen said.

"To Irish people ye do." Liam spoke in a strong lilt.

Ellen laughed. "Very funny."

After Liam changed Liisa, he picked her up and cradled her in his arms. He kissed her softly on the head. Then he brought her into the warm, fragrant kitchen. He gave the baby to Eva and went to the kitchen sink to wash his hands. Then he sat down to the big plate of pancakes already slathered in preserves and ready to eat. "Thank ye, love."

"Tank you for changink stinky baby."

"Vas I stinky, too, Mamma?"

"Yes, verdy stinky somptime. You start to eat food early. My milk vas not enough. Den you get stinky _paskaa_."

"Mamma! You said 'shit' in Finnish!" Ellen fell into great giggles.

"Vell, don't tell anybody I say it," Eva said with a chuckle. She hid her face behind her coffee cup while cradling Liisa against her body. "You don't say dat, too."

"I won't, Mamma," Ellen said with a modicum of regret behind a grin.

"Vhat cake you vant for birtday?"

"Chocolate, please."

Ellen rode to school in the cab with Liam; it was a birthday treat. "Tank you, Pappa. I'll see you at home tonight."

Liam helped her out of the cab. "Have a good day at school, love."

~~~

That evening before they cut the birthday cake, Eva sang the Finnish girl's birthday song. The song always made the older ladies cry which included Eva now, although she was not old. Just as she finished, a knock came on the front door. Saimi answered it.

"I came to see a Miss Ellen Mattson, if you please."

Saimi came into the kitchen. "Mr. Greene from bank vants to see Ellen."

Eva didn't know why the bank president would come to the house.

They all walked to the foyer. Eva had the baby. Ellen walked right up to Mr. Greene.

"I'm Ellen Mattson. How may I help you?" she said in a very grown up manner. This elicited the usual bovine looks from the adults in earshot.

"Ah, yes Miss." Mr. Greene cleared his throat, "Your father, the late Victor Mattson, had started a savings account for you with the intent of giving it to you on your tenth birthday. I am delivering an account book to you as per his instruction."

"Thank you," Ellen said, seeming perplexed.

Mr. Greene handed Ellen the savings account book, tipped his hat, and bid them all a good evening. "Happy Birthday, Miss Mattson."

"Thank you," she said again.

Saimi let him out.

Ellen opened the dark green, leather-covered book and scanned it. "There's five hundred dollars written in here," she announced. Her voice was steady and even. "Pappa gave this to me?"

Eva was so overwhelmed she could not stem the tears that began to roll down her face. No one could say anything for several long moments. Eva gave the baby to Liam and went to her room, lay on the bed, and cried. Ellen went to her mother and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing her mother's arm in comfort.

"I have to give him credit," Liam said softly, following the two into the bedroom and putting Liisa in the cradle. "He was a good father to ye, Ellen." He went to Eva, scooping her into his arms. Ellen held her mother, too. Liam wrapped an arm around Ellen as well. The birthday cake was temporarily forgotten, left on the kitchen table.

~~~

The next morning at breakfast Ellen asked her Mamma: "What is the money from Pappa for?"

"I tink he knew you gonna be somptink someday. Maybe it for... Liam, vhat you call school for doctor?

"Medical school," Liam helped.

"I'll save it for that, then," Ellen decided, smiling.

That morning Ellen wore the new dress and pinafore she got for her birthday along with a pair of new shoes. She felt like the world was a good place to be. And she loved her Pappa Victor very much.

### Chapter 17

Over the winter, Liam wrote to Annie MacDonald to help make arrangements for her emigration for that spring. Annie's last letter to Liam had solid dates of departure from Liverpool and arrival in New York. Liam was beyond excited that Annie was really coming.

Eva had just celebrated her twenty-ninth birthday and Liam was excitedly awaiting Annie's arrival.

One night as Liam and Eva were getting ready for bed she smiled at Liam's anticipation.

Liam, keyed-up at the prospect of seeing his later childhood caregiver in the flesh after all this time said: "She said her Atlantic crossing was scheduled for May the fourth. That would get her into New York Harbor and Ellis Island on the ninth, and then give her about a week to arrive here. Maybe sooner."

"Vhat you tink 'bout Annie comink so soon?"

"I'm elated beyond anything. But I know I will cry when I see her. Our past is so full of joy and then tremendous sorrow. I will have to tell her about what I did those four years in which I disappeared."

"Sees lost Dolly, too. I understand. Den you don't write her."

Eva leaned down to check on Liisa asleep in her cradle then crawled in bed next to Liam.

"I know you luff her verdy mutts, Liam. I am happy you happy."

"I can't wait for her to meet you and Ellen and especially Liisa," he said, helping Eva settle in next to him. He put her in the crook of his arm and kissed her neck.

~~~

"Who is Annie, Pappa? Tell me again." Ellen and Liam were finishing breakfast and getting ready to leave for work and school.

"Annie was the live-in cook at my parent's mansion in Belfast. She was more of a mother to me than my own who was too wrapped up in her high society."

"You were rich in Belfast?" Ellen asked.

"My father and mother were. Don't get me wrong. There's nothin' wrong with makin' money and livin' well, as long as ye don't hurt others. My parents were of the mind that because they had money, they were better than others who didn't have as much. They treated the help terribly. I'd get angry with them."

"I wouldn't do that, treat the help terribly," Ellen declared.

"The woman I married, Dolly, was one of the 'help,' and my mother was very angry about that. She wanted me to marry a rich girl that I didn't care for. And I'm absolutely certain my father took me out of his will. That's why I like workin' as a doctor. It pays me well to support my family. I also happen to like helpin' sick people feel better."

"I'm sorry you lost your first wife and baby, Pappa. You vere sad like Mamma and I were. I remember." She got up from her chair, walked to Liam, and hugged him.

"Thank ye, love," he said. He bent down and hugged her in return. Ellen never stopped amazing him. He glanced at Eva who was breastfeeding his second daughter. Although he had claimed Ellen as his after the wedding, it took Ellen much longer to accept him as her stepfather. Over Ellen's shoulder, he could tell Eva was thinking the same about Ellen, gazing poignantly at her increasingly compassionate older daughter.

"I will be very glad to meet Mrs. MacDonald," Ellen said. She let go of the hug and looked into Liam's eyes.

~~~

On the morning of May thirteenth, a Friday, Liam found himself at the hospital treating a man in with a gunshot wound to the arm. The man was lucky; the wound was only a graze. The doctors at the hospital were required to call the Sheriff when gunshot victims came to the emergency room for treatment. Liam accompanied the Sheriff to interview the wounded man.

The wounded man and a group of fellow Mesabi miners had been at a tavern after their shift up by the range.

"We came out to go home, Sheriff, and this man pulled a gun on us, said he wanted our money. Well, we said we just spent it all in there and what was he gonna do about that? Then he shot the gun and ran."

"How old was he? Anything unusual about him?"

"He was so dirty and scruffy it was hard to tell. Maybe late twenties, early thirties. He had a Finnish accent."

"So do three quarters of the people around here," the Sheriff said. He was Finnish himself.

"He had the clothing of a merchant sailor. Like I said, he was dirty. He ran off into the woods behind the roadhouse."

~~~

Early Saturday morning while Liam was at work, Eva and Ellen, with Liisa in the pram, went to the dry goods store for flour, salt, and sugar and whatever else Eva and Saimi thought they would need. Annie was due to arrive any day.

Eva, pulling the little wagon, breathed in filling her lungs with a sunny spring day. With the lilacs blooming it smelled fresh and heavenly. "Ve pick some from our buss for Annie's room," Eva said to Ellen. She pointed to a patch of lilacs.

As they walked up to the newly built brick store, Eva saw a vagrant out of the corner of her eye. He was standing on the opposite side of the street. Not paying full attention, she left the pram, the wagon, and Ellen to watch Liisa in front of the store.

In Finnish, Eva said, "Stay right here. I see a stranger across the street."

She promptly went in to get her groceries.

As Ellen played with Liisa, she didn't notice the vagrant until he was about twenty feet away.

"Who's dat lady?" he barked.

Ellen noticed his inflection was Finnish. He was dirty, as if he hadn't had a _sauna_ in months. His jacket and trousers were in tatters, and he wore a navy blue sailor's hat that was caked with oily dirt. His beard and hair were scruffy and long.

"She is my modder. Her name used to be Eva Mattson, but my Pappa died. Now she is Eva Dady."

Ellen stepped back. In doing so she knocked over a display of brooms in a small barrel. She took her eyes away from the vagrant and picked the brooms back up. When she turned back to look at the man he was no longer there. She peered up and down the street and saw no sign of him. She shrugged but a shiver went through her spine. She went back to the pram to wait, careful not to knock anything else over.

It wasn't long before her mother came out. She handed Ellen a peppermint stick.

"Tank you, Mamma," Ellen said with wide eyes and a grin.

Mr. Jacobsen followed Eva with her boxful of groceries and placed it in the wagon. "Thank you for picking up the brooms, Ellen," he said.

"You're welcome, Mr. Jacobsen."

They walked back home. Eva pushed the pram and Ellen pulled the wagon, happily sucking on her peppermint stick.

~~~

At the hospital that afternoon, Liam was delayed from leaving by another man with a gunshot wound, this time more serious. A man described as filthy with an overgrown beard and a sailor's cap had shot at a group of men. They were leaving the same roadhouse as the previous gunshot victim and said the man tried to rob them. Again, the gunman had run off into the woods. Dr. Andersen was on a house call so Liam was the one to take the emergency. He called Eva to let her know that surgery was necessary. He wouldn't get out of there until seven or eight o'clock. It had to be done.

~~~

In her bedroom, Eva had just finished breastfeeding three-month-old Liisa when she heard the five o'clock train approaching the station. The boarders would soon be in from their Saturday errands and would expect their _sauna_ and supper. She was thankful that Saimi was on kitchen duty and had fired up the _sauna_ earlier. Eva and Ellen had spent the afternoon upstairs tidying up the spare bedroom for Annie.

Several minutes later, Eva heard Ellen's stomping feet in the foyer.

"Someone is at the door," Ellen yelled.

_Villi Ruusu_ , Eva thought, buttoning her blouse as she walked through the kitchen after putting Liisa in her crib. She could hear people conversing.

"Mamma! A lady with dark red hair is here," Ellen hollered.

Eva rushed to meet Annie, still tucking in her clothing. Ellen swung the door open.

"Well then, ye must be Ellen. Liam has written about ye. I'm Annie MacDonald. I'm pleased to make yer acquaintance." She shook hands.

"I'm happy to meet you," Ellen chirped. "You sound like Pappa Liam."

Eva beamed at Annie and nearly burst into tears upon finally meeting the woman who was responsible for raising her beloved husband. Eva told Ellen in Finnish to put Annie's carpetbag next to the stairs.

"Annie, I so happy you here," Eva said. She took Annie's hand.

"You must be Eva." Annie looked at Eva. "You are absolutely beautiful," she said. "Liam wrote ye were."

Eva felt her face flush at the compliment. "Come in," she said. "Come in. Velcome to our home." She helped Annie with her coat and shoes. Ellen had a pair of knitted slippers on a side table, ready for Annie to put on.

"These are brilliant. Thank you, Ellen." Annie smiled at the knitted slipper socks. She sat on the bench and pulled them onto her stocking feet. "They are comfortable."

"How 'bout cup a coffee?" Eva offered.

Annie followed Eva into the kitchen. They both sat at the kitchen table while Saimi got the cups and saucers and a plate of sliced _nisu_ ready.

"Dis Saimi Laivo," Eva said to Annie. "Sees live here and cook and clean vit me. Sees my friend, too."

"Hello, Saimi, I'm Annie," Eva and Saimi smiled at Annie's excellent pronunciation. "I am so charmed by you lovely women with such brilliant blue eyes."

"I am sordy Liam is not home yet. He's do operation. You can have coffee, den I take you room and you can clean up. I know you verdy tired. It's lonk, lonk trip here. I did it, too."

"Oh, aye, I am travel weary. I feel as though I could sleep for a week."

Annie sat and drank coffee and ate _nisu_ for the first time. She seemed to love the sweet cardimon flavored bread. The three women chatted about their epic journeys from their homelands.

Ellen sat with them sipping her own cream-diluted coffee in her animal cup. Eva noticed that her daughter was intrigued with the woman Liam knew as a young man.

"Pappa Liam says you vere a cook at his house and you took care of him," Ellen said. "His Mamma vas too busy."

"You could say that, Ellen. We are very close."

"You knew his first wife," Ellen asked gently.

"Aye, I did, God rest her soul, dear thing." Annie crossed herself.

Eva spoke quietly to Ellen in Finnish. "Please don't ask anymore, Ellen."

When coffee was finished, Eva and Ellen took Annie upstairs. Ellen carried her carpetbag. Eva pointed to the bathroom as they passed it then walked Annie to her room.

"I leef you get fress up," Eva said. "Maybe rest lil, too."

"Thank you, Eva. I need a little time to rest."

~~~

At around seven o'clock, Liam burst through the front door. "There's a steamer trunk on the front porch. Where's Annie!?"

The instant Eva told him Annie was upstairs he bounded up two steps at a time. He knew which room she would be in and flew down the hall.

The bedroom door flung open. Annie rushed into his arms. He grabbed her hard enough to hear her "umph." He didn't care. They were together again.

"Oh God, oh God, it's you, Annie," Liam whispered through her hair. He kissed her face. He couldn't hold back his tears. "Jesus, I missed ye."

Annie sobbed into his chest. He could see she couldn't speak. He just held her as they stood in the doorway shedding tears. Everything from the last year Liam had spent in Belfast and Edinburgh flew distinctly through his mind: Dolly; their wedding; her pregnancy; his schooling; their flight; and Dolly's horrible death. It flew hard into his heart. Six long years of separation had ended with this bittersweet reunion.

"Did ye meet everyone, then?" Liam asked when he gained some composure. He wiped his tears then Annie's with his thumb. He cupped her face in his two hands, studying it adoringly. "Ye're just as beautiful as I last saw ye."

"Oh, don't ye tell me that," she said blushing. "You, my dear, are a little changed to me." She, too, studied his face. "It was hard on ye, wasn't it?" She smoothed his forehead creases with her fingers. "I can see ye have a line or two on yer face that a thirty-two-year-old man shouldn't have yet."

"I was horrendously hard on myself in those squandered years. So I'm not surprised ye see it. The doctor told me my liver was enlarged at the stoppin' point, when I gave up livin' like I was."

"I see a light in yer eyes from yer new life here," she said. "In the God-forsaken Arctic, I hear."

He laughed.

"I can't imagine ye those four lost years, darlin'. In a way, I wished ye had come back home." She hugged him again.

"Have ye met my baby girl yet?" he asked.

"No, she was sleepin'. I think Eva was waitin' for you to get home so you could do it. I've been sleepin' too. Eva's such a dear. So beautiful like ye'd wrote."

"She is at that, and more. We'll go downstairs, if ye're ready."

Oh, I'm ready, all right. Let's see that baby of yers."

~~~

In the parlor, Ellen placed herself where she could be as close to Pappa Liam's Annie MacDonald as she could. She watched with great intrigue.

Liam handed Liisa to Annie. "She's the spit o' ye, Liam," Annie said softly. She let her tears roll. "I can hardly believe it. Ye're a father."

"Well, ye're her Granny, then. All the rest of her 'grands' are in Finland—or Northern Ireland. Her name is Elisabet Eva Dady. We call her Liisa, after one of Eva's sisters in the Old Country. The Finn community here calls it that."

Just then, Liisa woke up. But instead of crying at a stranger, she gazed into Annie's face contentedly.

"I wonder why she's so calm," Liam said.

"I yust fed her vhile you upstairs," Eva said. "Sees belly full."

They all smiled at the preciousness.

~~~

With the supper dishes and cleanup done, Liam escorted Annie to the parlor with Ellen following, where they all sat and chatted with a cup of tea or coffee. Annie was able to meet the two boarders. She and Saimi began to get to know each other better. Both had been cooks in mansions, they discovered.

"I look forward to learning about the Finnish ways of cooking, and also gettin' to know all of you," Annie said. "Liam has written so many nice things. I feel I know you so much right now."

"Vell, Liam has says many nice tinks 'bout you, too," Eva added.

The standing clock rang out eight o'clock. Annie stood up stiffly. "I must go to bed right now before Liam and the other gentlemen have to carry me up the stairs." She smiled at Liam. "Oh, aye, I'm gettin' a little older. My bones don't work as well as they used to. It's all those years on my feet in a kitchen."

Liam puffed through his lips. "Ye're as young as a spring chicken."

"Well then, ye may want to collect my eggs in the mornin," Annie jested.

Ellen belly laughed from her place on the floor.

"Goodnight, good people," Annie said. "I thank ye for the lovely afternoon and evenin', and the fine meal."

All returned the sentiment in unison.

Eva said: "Velcome home, Annie."

Liam could see that Annie felt the words in her heart. He walked her to her room. "Ye've got what ye need, then?" He stood in the doorway.

She nodded. They hugged and gave each other a kiss.

"Goodnight Annie," he said. "I'm glad ye're here. I still can't believe my eyes." He closed the door softly and went back downstairs.

~~~

In bed that night, Liam kissed Eva amorously. Eva could feel Liam's spirit was at a heightened level. She could feel his need for her, strong and healthy. No words were spoken as he swiftly started making love to her. It wasn't needy and not gratuitous but a strong expression of his love for her and his desire to share that complete, powerful gratification.

He pressed his tongue on her nipple as he set his rhythm in and out of her. Eva held him at his hips, moving her to the precipice that Liam could skillfully do. Her release was so exquisite that she could not hold back crying out. Liam echoed her.

When they woke the next morning to Liisa's hungry fussing, Eva found Liam in the position he fell asleep in. They looked at each other in amazement. Eva moved her hand to Liam's morning erection and kissed him. It gave him an indication of more to come after Liisa was done feeding and back napping.

Eva rose and took Liisa from the crib. She talked to her as she changed her. She then sat naked with Liam's baby at her breast while Liam watched drowsily on his side.

"I like watchin' ye breast feed," he said. "Not only is it motherly, it's very sexy."

He put his hand on his hardness through the flannel sheet giving Eva a toothy grin.

"I see you are verdy lusty dis mornink," Eva said, switching Liisa to the other breast. It was already letting go milk.

"I'm rememberin' last night," he said. "That was about as grand as ye get."

Eva felt her face flush and she continued to gaze at him. "I tink dis baby is full; she's sleepink 'gain." Eva disconnected Liisa from her nipple and put her back in the crib. She made sure the little hook and eye lock on the door was engaged so they wouldn't have a premature visitation from a certain ten-year-old in the middle of their early morning sex. Eva latched the door and climbed into bed with a very aroused husband. She positioned herself on top, her genitals rubbing his cock.

"Ye smell like baby milk," he said. He sniffed around her bosom, tickling her and nibbling on the sensitive crease underneath. He appeared to be mesmerized by her breasts jiggling in his face.

She slid him inside her as he suckled, letting him enjoy himself. He put his hands on her hips, moving with her gyrations as he lay nearly motionless. It was slow. After a while she could hear a muffled "Oh, God" as he began to thrash in ecstasy.

"Christ!" he said, his chest heaving.

Eva kept moving until she fell into bliss with her own climax then collapsed on his chest and nuzzled into his neck. "Now vhat?"

"I feel like more sleep. Ye're a temptress, that's what ye are, Eva Dady." He put his arms around her torso and rolled her off him.

"I make mess," she whispered, rolling onto her side. She leaned over the edge of the bed, remembering there was a towel nearby.

"Let me clean ye," he said and reached for the nearest towel on the floor. He went about his gentle ministrations as she kissed him anywhere that she could reach with her lips.

It was Sunday morning. Not that long after, the spooned, peacefully dozing lovers were awakened by Saimi clinking pans and dishes to make Sunday breakfast for those heading to church.

He had put his hand on her genitals after making love, holding them. Realizing where his hand was, Eva asked, "Are you owning dat or somptink?"

"Of course, I own it, ye're my wife. It's mine. All mine." He smiled and tickled there, making her squirm.

She felt his immediate arousal pushing against her buttocks, and she turned her head back to look at him as though he were crazy. "More? Again?"

"Just another quick one, before we get up. I'm wild for ye this mornin'."

He began once again, nuzzling her neck and hair. He took her from behind as they lay. She arched her back and hips so he could reach her. She was still slippery from his earlier ejaculation. It was not quick. It was slow and loving. She climaxed first, with his finger helping. It brought him to his finish.

Still holding onto the crevice between her legs, he fell limp in post-coital bliss. "Eva, I can't get enough o' ye. Everything seems different. I'm feelin'—I don't know what I feel. I find comfort and love and carin' from ye, and I want to give it back to ye a hundred-fold. A thousand-fold."

"I tink, maybe Annie here and you talk to her now 'bout everytink happen to you. You feel happy more."

"I think ye're right. I've missed her for so long, wanting to be in that cozy kitchen with her in Belfast. She soothed my every hurt, taught me right from wrong—not that I listened to her all the time—but she was my gauge, and then she taught me how to start usin' my own gauge."

"Vhat gauge?"

"More or less, my own brain pointing me in the right direction," he said, smiling. He paused in quiet contemplation, his head resting on Eva's shoulder from behind her.

"Take her to lake lader. It look like no more rain. You can talk vit her."

"Good idea, love."

"I vant body parts back, now. It's time to get up, _villi mies_."

"Ye're callin' me a wild man?" he said in mock indignance.

"Yes. I am."

"I thought I'd been gentle and caring and soft and sweet and—" He nuzzled her hair from behind.

"Stop already! I need to take bat and clean myself. I don't vant smellink like ruttink moose." She laughed under her breath and turned herself toward him.

"Oh, that's brilliant. First, I'm I wild man. Now I'm a bleedin' ruttin' moose."

"Vone more tink," she said with half seriousness. "Dis tink." She took his damp, half erect penis in her hand, mimicking his earlier claim. "Dis _all mine_."

He took her by the shoulders as they sat on the edge of the bed. "Yers, and yers _alone_ , for the rest of our lives." He looked directly into her eyes.

Hers were hard at work studying his.

"Oh, aye, I mean it," he said.

"I belief you." She continued to study his face, all the while holding his penis. She started to smile. "I luff you."

He gave her a sweet kiss. His eyes twinkled. "I love ye, too, and it would be nice if ye let go my cock before I'm fully ready to ravish ye again." He looked down at himself. "Too late."

They both laughed. She let go. He pushed her to her back and crawled between her legs anyway.

### Chapter 18

"The Sleepin' Beauty has awakened," Liam chirped from the parlor. He stood up and walked to Annie at the bottom of the stairs, kissing her on the cheek. "It's nearly eleven. Eva's got a breakfast for ye. Finnish pancakes, bacon, and eggs."

Annie greeted Eva, who was sitting with Liisa on the parlor sofa.

"Where's Ellen?"

"Gone to church vit Saimi," Eva answered.

Liam took Annie into the kitchen, sat her at the table, and began to serve her.

"Is this the custom, then, where ye're servin' me every mornin'?" They smiled at each other, "because if it is, then I'm all for it. The cookin' smells grand."

"Don't get used to it. Today I'm not on call so I don't have to go anywhere." He smiled at Annie.

"As I was washin' and dressin', I thanked God you are here, otherwise I'd be in the middle of nowhere by meself. Why on earth did ye come so far north?"

"That is a good question. I just kept hoppin' trains from St. Louis, and here I am."

Eva came into the kitchen and sat down, holding Liisa on her shoulder. Eva turned Liisa in her lap so the wide-eyed infant could see the world around her. Annie and Liam became enthralled with Liisa and her sweet 'Liam-face' smiling at them.

"She's such a sweet babe," Annie said. "I still can't get over how she has the look o' ye, Liam."

Liam had gotten coffee for himself, Eva, and Annie. He smiled at Annie.

"Ye're not eatin' then?" Annie said.

"We had our meal earlier while ye were catchin' up on yer sleep. It's quite an epic journey from Europe to America."

Annie smiled. "I still feel like I need another week of solid sleep to catch up. Without a snag, it still was a time gettin' here."

"Are ye up for a short walk to the lake, about a quarter mile from here? Eva suggested we go, you and I, to talk. We can stay as long as the rain holds out."

"You take umbrella in case," Eva said. "I stay here to cook dinner vit Liisa."

"It's a grand idea," Annie said. "Let me finish these delicious pancakes, though. They're meltin' in my mouth. Pass me the preserves, Liam."

~~~

Thirty minutes later, Liam and Annie were strolling through the field full of spring flowers, a blanket of pastels still wet with the morning's earlier rain. They had suddenly gone quiet with each other. Liam knew that the things they were to talk of were going to be painful. As they entered the wooded path, Annie started first.

"I saw yer mother in the city center a week or so before I left. She invited me for afternoon tea in one of those nice tea rooms."

"Did ye join her, then?"

"Aye. She seemed rather contrite in my presence. I didn't have time to write about it, so I thought I'd tell ye in person. She informed me yer father had died about a month before of a heart attack. She said he'd had heart disease for a while. It got worse after ye left."

"I had no idea. How did she seem, and what's she plannin' to do now?"

"She said she's still in the mansion but it's quite lonely there. She was thinkin' of sellin' it and buying a much smaller place. Perhaps she'd go to London, she said. She has had an older gentleman caller recently."

"Hope it's not some gold digger." Liam then changed his thought. "Ah, well, what do I care? I was out of the will anyhow. It doesn't matter."

"But it does, Liam." Annie stopped walking and grasped his arm. "Ye're not out of the will. Seems Lord Pirrie at Harland and Wolff wouldn't set up yer Mam's pension if yer father wrote ye out of his will. They knew by then yer Da was failin', tryin' to get all the details in order before he passed."

"Jesus, ye're not jokin' with me, are ye, Annie?" He took hold of her arms.

"No, Liam. I am not. I heard it with me own two ears and saw who was speakin'. She wanted to know where ye were. I gave her yer address and a bit of news of ye. I didn't tell her everythin'. I did tell her that Dolly had died in an accident and that some years later ye'd met someone and were married again, that ye had a baby. She seemed pleased for ye, Liam. She was startled to find out she was a grannie. I think it pleased her."

"Hmm." He couldn't see her bouncing any baby off her knee.

"All I could get from the whole conversation was that she seemed quite regretful, full of remorse about what had happened after her 'fall from grace' with the Belfast high society. But just how far back in time she went with that remorse, I couldn't tell."

As they came out of the woods, Annie gasped at the pretty lake. Even though the day was gray, they could see a thin bright band of clearing skies on the western horizon. They sat on the double swing, facing each other. The breeze had dried the benches.

"What happened to ye, when ye left New Jersey?" Annie asked.

Liam took a big breath and let it out through his nose. He knew he would be explaining things for quite a while. "After stayin' in Jersey City for several days after—she was buried, I traveled to Chicago. I stayed there for a while, maybe a year. I moved around quite a bit, livin' in flop houses and down-and-out hotels, and then a boardin' house in the Irish section of the city. I still had money from my accounts that I transferred from Scotland, so I didn't have to earn much of a livin'. That's when I started to fight again. And drink. I couldn't stand listenin' to what went on in my head if I was sober. The fightin' ... I figgered was a form of punishment."

"What de ye mean 'punishment,' Liam?"

"I blamed myself for her death." Liam could not say Dolly's name. "She had such vertigo on the ship. It was the last day. We were almost there and I let her go to get her magazine in the room on her own." He leaned forward, elbows on knees, head in his hands. "I was sleepy on the sun deck. She fell down a set of stairs." He began to well up, choking on his words. "She—the uterus—tore ... that's what I guessed, and she bled to death." He forced the words out. "They couldn't ... didn't have the facility. I couldn't do anythin'. She went so fast ..."

In a flash, Annie was next to him, holding him in her arms as he sobbed. She sobbed as well, for him. After a short while she asked: "Jesus in Heaven, Liam, I can't imagine bein' you. How did ye get through Ellis Island?"

"I don't remember most of it. I'd been sedated heavily. I was assigned a woman who was Irish, to help me through everythin', and gettin' the ... remains ... off Ellis. The lady arranged everything, includin' a Catholic burial at a cemetery in Jersey City. Like I said, I've blocked a hell of a lot out of my mind." He wiped his tears on his shirt sleeve.

"Just as well, darlin', I wouldn't want to remember. I had similar experiences with my passin' husband, and son."

Liam turned to Annie and put his hand on her cheek, remembering with her. He remembered how she told him about her son Conor dying. He wiped her tears from her cheeks.

"You were missin' from me for more than four years," Annie said. "What did ye do and where'd ye go? That's if ye're willin' to say, Liam."

"I got caught up in a large fist fightin' syndicate, lots of money and lots of nefarious characters. I was always walkin' a thin line with the bosses snubbin' 'em and never followin' orders. Can't tell ye how many times I nearly got my head stove in. They didn't want to harm me too much, though. I was a cash cow for 'em. I won a lot and I could throw a fight if they wanted me to."

"How did ye manage to get here?" Annie asked.

"I was in St. Louis at a fight match. I was supposed to win a certain fight but I got drunk and lost it. The boss, Sheridan McKay, was none too happy. He was comin' for me and I knew this time he didn't want me to stay alive. I was in the dressin' room and overheard his thugs. I managed to grab my things—all my documents. I jumped out the window and ran for my life. I hopped a train before anyone saw and headed for Minneapolis. I stayed there for a few days on a binge. Somethin' told me to keep goin', even in my drunken stupor. I was gettin' sick, too. I ended up here, lyin' on the train floor. By the time I arrived I couldn't walk on my own, I was so sick and drunk. The station attendants brought me here to the boardin' house and Saimi and Eva nursed me back to health. They even got me through the alcohol withdrawal and I haven't drunk since. Now what's interestin' is that Eva was havin' marital problems with her husband of nearly ten years—Ellen's father—with all sorts of extenuatin' circumstances. She was as much a mess as I was only without the alcohol. He was extremely jealous of me and the minute I was better he accused me of bein' after his wife and sent me packin'."

"Were ye, then?"

"To tell ye the truth, Eva and I were attracted to each other and he saw it plain and clear. I found Ed Murphy in town and stayed there. I was afraid to leave because I was hidin' from a man who wanted my hide—still wants it. A few weeks later Eva's husband died suddenly. I went back to take care of Eva who was at the precipice of losing her will to live. I went at the doctor's request."

"Why did the doctor ask you?

"He told me up front that he thought Eva seemed better when I was there the first time when she was takin' care of me."

"He saw the writin' on the wall as well," Annie said.

"Eva and I both went through immense grievin' together, helpin' each other and fallin' in love."

"I think that is the sweetest story even though it was serious for a while. Seems like you found another puppy to nurse to health."

Liam smiled at the Dolly reference.

"Did ye resist at first?" Annie asked.

"Oh aye, even though we had ... well ... desires. . ." Liam blushed.

"Oh, aye. It was hard to keep yer hands off each other," Annie said, grinning.

"Aye, Christ. Just look at her!"

"I have! Ye're nothin' to turn a nose up at either."

He blushed again. "It's not just the outer beauty, it's her whole beauty. She's quietly funny. She's a wonderful mother. And now she's my best friend."

As they sat and talked, the sky became cloudless and the sun, dipping into the western sky began to shine on the lake adding that jewel-like sparkle to the lake's ripples. Liam let the sun warm his face.

"So, what about this McKay, then?" Annie asked.

"I don't know. Knowin' him, though, he's probably keeping an ear and eye out for me. I lost him a lot of money that night. I look around every day for anyone that looks like a McKay thug. They wear leather vests like a uniform."

"So, it's not over with McKay. Does Eva know anythin' about this?"

"Nothin'. She knows I used to fist fight, but that's all."

"Well, it may get interestin', Liam."

Liam took a big breath and let it out knowing Annie was correct in her thinking. He leaned back on the bench feeling a weight had been lifted now that he and Annie had talked. He noticed she seemed relieved along with him. She, too, leaned back, letting the sun shine on her face.

"We've been here for close to two hours. It's dinner time. We should get back," he said.

"I wonder what Finnish delights we'll have for dinner," Annie said, picking up her unused umbrella. She climbed off the big wood-framed, double swing with a hand from Liam and they headed for home.

~~~

With Liisa in her arms wrapped in a warm blanket Eva watched Liam and Annie walk across the big field. She was happy to see the two together. She smiled and turned to go back inside to cook. She had some chickens to roast and vegetables to peel. She thought about a peach pie or two for dessert to be popped in the oven when the chickens were done. Everyone would be back from church by one o'clock or a little after.

A short while later as Eva put the chickens and vegetables in the oven, the horse and buggy with the church contingent arrived and pulled into the barn. Eva had to go to the _sauna_ to fetch some clean kitchen towels. She had Liisa in her arm as she walked to the outbuilding under the clearing skies letting the sun shine on her face.

She met the returning household members in the back yard. Saimi asked if there was anything to be done in the kitchen. Ellen was running circles around everyone.

"Vhere's Pappa and Annie?" she inquired.

"Dey vent to lake to be 'lone to talk. You stay here," she said, preempting any ideas her daughter may have about heading out there when no one was looking.

At that moment, a strange yet familiar voice interrupted them. The voice came from behind her as if that person were walking from the front yard. He spoke in Finnish.

"Hello, Eva. It's been a long time since I saw you last. Remember? You didn't want me to leave you."

Eva spun around to see who it was. Her heart filled with shock, then dread at the horrifically unkempt sight of Eino Mattson. She hardly recognized him through the grime and overgrown facial hair. Those penetrating blue eyes were unmistakable, however. "Satan be damned," she said and gasped. "How did you find me?" She shook her head. "Why did you find me?"

"I've always wanted to find you," he said. "When I left you that day we made love, I knew someday I would find you. I knew you loved me."

"As much as I did love you, we were never meant to be together."

"Victor didn't deserve you, the boy-whore that he was." Eino spoke with biting vehemence as if everything had happened yesterday. "Do you have any idea how many girls he'd been fucking since he was sixteen? And he kept it up even after he and you became more than friends."

Eva's belly cringed. "I know, now," she said sarcastically. "He's dead, you know. He died two winters ago from a brain aneurism."

He took his eyes from Eva and looked at the rest of the people in the yard. "The rest of you," Eino warned the others, "will go inside now, or I'll shoot you." He pulled out a gun, showed it to them, then put it back into the pocket.

Saimi herded Ellen and the rest of the people inside, but she came back out to get Liisa. As she did so, she whispered to Eva, "Emil vill call Sheriff now," and went back inside.

"What do you want?" Eva asked Eino, facing him.

"I want you, of course. I've come to take you with me."

"You can't. I'm married again. I have children. I don't want to go with you. You are ... ill."

"I'm not that ill. I had six years in Karelia. After that, I've managed to support myself on merchant ships, mostly."

"Eino, I'm sorry. I can't go with you. Now, you need to go."

"I'm not going without you. I gave you up a long time ago. I'll not do it again," he said crossly. He walked toward her and grabbed her upper arm—hard. He pulled her to the bench outside the _sauna_ making her neck jerk and pushed her to sit. She could smell the filth. His teeth were a yellowy-brown. His dark blond beard was knotted and grizzled. He was once considered the handsomest of his three brothers. Now he was a stinking mess, a mere shadow of a beautiful Mattson man. She would feel sorry for him but that pity was overshadowed by fear of what was in his sick mind.

"You didn't know that I saw you and Victor on your wedding day," he announced.

"Why did you come back?"

"I almost killed him when you left him to eat his cake on the far side of the house. Some ... one ... stopped me."

"You couldn't. He was your brother."

Eino ignored her. "I'm going to wait for your new husband to come back. Then I will shoot him dead and take you. You'll be free then. I didn't know Victor had died until I saw an old newspaper in Duluth with his obituary in it. I was in luck when I saw you last fall at the orchard. I couldn't believe it."

More dread passed through her as Eva realized she hadn't been dreaming after that day at the orchard when she thought she'd seen Victor. It had been Eino in real life.

Eva's throat dried as she tried to think of what to do next. When he was suddenly distracted by a noise in the barn she lunged at him. "You will not kill anyone, Eino," she hissed through her teeth.

"If I can't have you, no one will then," he cried. He clumsily pulled out his gun from his jacket. He lost control of it when Eva charged into him with all her might. The gun went off, and then flew about twenty feet away onto the grass. Without a weapon, he wrapped his hands around her throat.

~~~

Saimi and Ellen were watching from the kitchen door window. The events moved at lightning speed. Before Saimi could tell Ellen to get into her bedroom, Ellen was out the door running towards the man who now had her mother pinned in a choke hold.

Ellen screamed and careened into the man attacking her mother. As she did so it forced him to loosen his death grip on Eva's throat, knocking him to his back. He yelled in surprise at the attack but got to his knees. He picked Ellen up by her clothing and slapped her hard across her face. She screamed again. He dropped Ellen on her side in the dirt.

Ellen looked up to see Saimi cock her arm with a frying pan and swing it as hard as she could. She hit Eino Mattson square in the head rendering him no longer a deadly threat.

~~~

Liam and Annie were half way across the field when the gunshot sounded. Liam screamed bloody murder and ran, yelling again as he heard Ellen scream.

"Oh, Jesus," was all Liam could say. He ran with all his strength to his family, not knowing what was going on or if they were being harmed, possibly by McKay's men.

"Eva!" he screamed. He rounded the corner of the barn. He saw her lying helpless on the ground. Ellen, in tears, crawled to her mother. Saimi stood over a prostrate lump of a body, an iron pan in her hand. Liam took a hard but brief look at the body. It had no leather vest.

He fell to his knees at Eva's barely conscious body. "Eva, are ye shot?" he asked, frantic and out of breath. He searched her body for blood or a bullet hole.

She was gasping for air, and trying to get to Ellen who was still in hysterics crying "Mamma!" Liam could see a red handprint across Ellen's cheek. He pulled her close.

"It's all right, darlin'," he whispered into Ellen's hair.

"He choked her, Pappa." Ellen clung to him fiercely. "Is Mamma all right?"

"I have to check her more. She needs to get inside."

"I wouldn't let him kill her," Ellen said with fear still in her voice.

By then, the Sheriff had arrived. Both Emil and Paul came to join Saimi to talk to the Sheriff.

"Well, he's alive but I don't know for how long with that head wound. We'll get him to the hospital," the Sheriff said.

Annie had arrived shortly after Liam and ran to Eva as well. Liam gave Ellen to Annie and picked up Eva and carried her to their bedroom. He laid her down, sat on the edge of the bed, and began gingerly palpating her injured neck and throat area.

"Does anything else hurt? Just show me. Yer arms? Yer legs? Yer belly?"

Eva showed Liam where she had been grabbed on her upper arm. He opened her dirt-covered blouse to look. Bruises were forming. He checked for bone breakage, but found none. He was nervous and wasn't sure he was seeing everything.

"Saimi, please call Dr. Andersen," he said. "I want him here. Tell him it's an emergency. Let him know an ambulance is needed. Go to the Sheriff and tell him the ambulance is on the way for the ... man."

Eva tried to talk, her voice raspy.

"Don't talk, sweetheart. You can tell me later. I think ye're goin' to be fine."

"Vhere's Ellen?" Eva whispered. "I vant her now."

Annie brought Ellen in.

"Mamma!" Ellen cried. "We saved you from that man."

Eva reached out her arms to Ellen who had tears streaming down her face. Liam could see that the cheek with a handprint still evident, red and vicious. Ellen climbed into Eva's arms, on top of her as if to shield her mother from any more danger. They stayed that way for a long time.

Liam sat on the edge of the bed, still stupefied at what had just happened. Who was the man who had been was rendered unconscious by Saimi Laivo wielding a frying pan? Liam left the two battered victims with Annie and headed outside to find the Sheriff and Saimi.

The Sheriff waved him over. "Liam, as far as I can tell, your wife's attacker was her brother-in-law, Eino Mattson."

"Eva said vone time lonk ago, Victor had brudder who he hate,' Saimi said. "He left their home farm yust before Eva and Victor married. I could hear him talk to her..." She proceeded to tell what she had witnessed.

"He's the rejected brother of the two who both wanted Eva. How the hell did he find her here?" Liam asked. He was still in shock from the attack.

~~~

At the hospital Eino Mattson lay unconscious with a probable profound brain injury. When Dr. Anderson arrived at the boarding house, he said a preliminary radiograph showed a massive crack in his skull. It would be determined in several days what would be done with Eino if he should survive. Liam was still in shock and didn't know how to process what had happened to his wife and stepdaughter.

With all that had happened, Saimi, with Annie's help, was able to fix some semblance of a Sunday dinner. Eva had put the food in the oven before the incident. Annie also helped in the care of Eva and Ellen that afternoon and evening.

Dr. Andersen came to see Eva and Ellen at the behest of Liam. Andersen insisted Liam re-examine Eva himself, not allowing Liam to let his emotions get the better of him.

"What's your diagnosis?" Andersen inquired.

"Her belly feels normal. The patient has no pain in a manual exam. There are no broken bones. If necessary, radiographs could be done later. I see no other injuries besides the bruising on her right forearm and the choking injury. There doesn't seem to be any permanent damage to any structure in her throat. Her pupils react to light normally. After a few days resting her voice, she should be fine," Liam concluded.

"And the girl?"

"Other than the somewhat painful bruisin' on her left cheek, Ellen appears to be free of physical injury. Treatment for both is tender lovin' care."

"I concur, Liam. I'm no longer needed here. I should get back to the hospital and check in on Eino Mattson."

"Doctor," Eva whispered. She gazed at him.

"Mr. Mattson is in bad shape, Eva. He most likely won't survive."

"Tank you, tell me."

~~~

In her still shocked state, Eva gave a weak smile to Liam. When Andersen left the room, Liam's tears rolled. "My God, Eva, I thought ye dead," he said. "It scared the life out o' me."

Eva put her fingers on Liam's lips to stop him from going further. He took her fingers gently, put them to his lips, and kissed them. He leaned toward her and carefully kissed her lips.

"I gonna be fine," she whispered with her injured voice.

"Shhh." He rubbed her face with the back of his fingers. He also rubbed Ellen's back tenderly as she lay next to her mother.

"I love ye, Eva. I'm... sorry I wasn't there."

Instead of putting her fingers on his lips, Eva put her whole hand over Liam's mouth. "I don't vant you say anytink ..." Her raggedy voice was strained in her insistence.

"It vas my fault, Mamma," Ellen said suddenly, still curled next to Eva. "He talked to me yesterday at the store. I told him who you vere. I'm sorry!" Ellen burst out in wails and held onto her mother.

Eva pulled her sobbing daughter to her and held her close.

When Ellen was done crying and ready to listen, Eva whispered haltingly and firmly to her in English. "Eino knew me anyvay. He don't need you help. You not gonna let him scare you. He can't hurt us now. You don't do nothink wronk, Ellen. You are stronk, brave girl."

The two of them stayed that way for quite some time, until Ellen apparently couldn't ignore her hungry belly any longer.

"Let's go eat," she said. She wiped her tears on her sleeve and smiled at her Mamma.

In Liam's mind, Ellen's hard grieving seemed to be done for the short term and she was ready to move on.

~~~

The next morning, Eva, Liam, and Ellen visited Eino in his hospital bed. Annie stayed behind with the baby. Eino had been shaved and cleaned up. Eva's heart broke when she saw him as he used to look. So handsome, he was. _What a terrible waste of a beautiful Mattson brother,_ she thought again. And, once again, she felt responsible for all the pain and anger and hatred he must've felt since leaving his home all these years ago. The guilt shrouded her like a black curtain blocking out the sun. Why had she treated him so badly back then? Her thoughts went back to the day he left the farm for good. Her slap was most definitely the turning point for him—the last humiliating blow. He was coming to try to tell her about Victor's sexual exploits. How heartbreakingly ironic it was that she unwittingly saved Victor's "lying arse" that day. And the other times he tried to tell her, she angrily dismissed it all as childish jealously on his part. _It was me who was childish_ , she thought bitterly. How could she ever tell Eino she was sorry again? She took a deep breath, exhaled through her mouth, and decided she was going to try right then.

"I need time vit Eino 'lone," she said suddenly. "I try to talk vit him. Maybe he hear me." She looked grimly at her family while they went out to the bench in the corridor.

"Vhy is Mamma in dere by herself, Pappa?" Eva heard Ellen ask Liam in the hallway.

"I'm fairly sure she wants to make amends with yer father's brother. I don't know everythin', but there had been 'bad blood' with yer uncle and yer Pappa just before you were born. She'll tell us when she's ready. We'll just sit out here for a while."

~~~

Eva pulled up a chair and sat at the bedside. She took Eino's hand, looking at him with his Mattson face, mourning once again. The heartbreak remained for her suffering brother-in-law. She spoke in Finnish.

"I know this makes no sense. That part of our lives together didn't make any sense especially Victor and his apparent inability to stay away from many girls, and you so angry at him for taking me away from you. I know you loved me and wanted to protect me from Victor's lies. I can see that now, but I didn't listen. I thought I knew everything back then. But I didn't. Liam thought maybe Victor was addicted to sex, like Liam and you were addicted to alcohol. It angered you to see Victor fool me. I understand that now, Eino. And I know you did love me. I appreciate that now. Do you hear me? I want you to know that I loved you, too. That's why I couldn't say goodbye to you without lying with you. To this day, I treasure those moments. I didn't understand you. And I am truly sorry, my Eino. I know that if you could, you would say sorry to me, too. I know it. I only want you to be at peace now. Just be at peace."

~~~

As Ellen, Liam, and Saimi sat on the bench outside Eino's hospital room, the Pastor from the Lutheran Church approached them.

"I heard you vere here to see dis man, Eva's relative. I vant to see if I can help."

"Eva's in there with him now," Liam said. "She had asked for some time alone. It's been about ten minutes."

"I can step in to see if she need somptink," the Pastor said, smiling. He opened the door.

~~~

Eva heard the door open and looked to see the Pastor coming in. She gave him a nod to acknowledge his entry.

He gave her a kind, empathetic gaze. "It's a private time for you, Eva. If you need a vord vit me, yust let me know."

She spoke to the Pastor in Finnish, "I have been making peace with my dead husband's brother. We all had a volatile life at one time. He was a very troubled soul since then. I'm hoping he can somehow hear me." She sighed deeply. "I just want ... to have him ... forgive me." She put her head down on his hand. Her tears spattered the young-looking hand that held promise no more.

For one lingering moment, Eva felt Eino's hand squeeze hers. It made her gasp. She sat up straight wondering if it was what she thought it could've been.

The Pastor made eye contact with Eva. He said nothing, but Eva understood. Eva knew in her heart that Eino had heard her. It gave her such peace. She was certain the two once-troubled brothers would both be in eternal serenity. She bent and lovingly kissed Eino's hand.

~~~

It was decided that Eino would be transferred to a better facility in Duluth for the duration of his life, however long that would be. Eva and Liam would fund his stay. She also shared with the Pastor that she wished the Mattsons in Finland would never know this turn of events. Knowing the whole story and the added grief it would cause the aging Mattsons, the Pastor, too, thought it was probably best they didn't know.

It would take just one week for Eino to succumb to the injuries he'd suffered, dying before the transfer took place. Saimi was especially grief stricken having wielded the blow that eventually caused his death and sought comfort and words of faith and forgiveness from the Pastor. Saimi was able to see Eino before he passed away. She talked with him as Eva had. Eino's remains were cremated and given to Eva who decided to bury them next to Victor at the City Cemetery.

"Dey fight no more," Eva said at the burial.

~~~

That night after the burial service for Eino Mattson, the rain came down in buckets as a strong spring thunderstorm rushed through from the west. Eva came to Liam. He sensed her agitated state.

As Liam entered her, he tried to be gentle and loving.

"No. Hard," she moaned with irritation, and shoved her pelvis roughly against him, urging him to follow her lead.

"No, Eva. I won't ride ye hard. It's as though ye're lookin' for punishment." He stopped but remained inside her. "Don't punish yerself for this. It was never yer fault. It was ... it was what Eino chose to do."

Eva said nothing. She pulled him to her.

Liam started his rhythm again, slow and tender to calm her agitation and frustration. "You were just a child, barely a woman." He felt her relax as her bent knees spread wider and went limp. He whispered as he made love. "That's a good girl. It's no wonder they both loved ye so much." He released, gasping for air. He felt her follow. That's what he'd wanted.

Before Liam could roll off, Eva let the tears come. They came hard. He held her. The storm outside passed and the rain on the roof slowed to a patter. Soon, so passed Eva's storm, then more thunder sounded far in the west.

## Part Three: Fight or Flight

Chapter 1

It was early March and before sunrise. Waking, Liam turned toward Eva. She had stimulated him to erection. "May I be of service to ye, madam?" he asked her, his voice cracking with sleep.

"I vant you," she whispered. "You are my man."

"I like bein' yer man," he said. He rolled to his side facing her. "What would ye like?"

"I vant you come inside me." It was such clear English that it made Liam chuckle again.

"Just the once, then?"

"Maybe more. I verdy sexy."

"Well, I don't want to disappoint ye."

She hummed in delight when he climbed on top of her. Her hips rocked into him and she smiled when he entered her. Her hands went to his bottom. He thrust slowly yet with force.

"I like you _peppu_. It move so nice when you _vittu_ ," she giggled while completely immersed in carnal indulgence.

"Is that that naughty word for what we're doin'?"

"Oh, yes. It feel so good ..." She whimpered, and wanted the sensation to increase. "You like my _peppu_ now?" She moved against him increasing her motion as she got closer to her orgasm. Her hands went to her breasts.

"Oh, aye," he breathed. "Jesus ..." His thrusts quickened and strengthened, his breathing audible and raspy.

She knew he came. "Ohhh!" she yelled. She bucked wildly underneath him at her peak, pushing until her pleasure waned.

She could barely open her eyes to see Liam's expression of wide-eyed wonder.

"I like _vittu_ vit you." She gave him a wet kiss indicating she was not done. "I vait for you to get ready 'gain," she said as she rubbed her cleft with her finger. She rolled onto her belly with her hand underneath her. She kept her eyes on him. " _Katso minua_ ," she said and started to rock her hips into her hand.

He rolled to his side. "I'm lookin' at ye." His eyes went to her purposely lewd exhibition. He traced her back and buttocks with his finger.

"You ready yet?" she whispered.

He nodded. She said nothing as she rolled him to his back and she straddled him and put him inside her. She set her rhythm and tilted her hips for maximum stimulation. He held her hips as she rocked both herself and him to another strong orgasm.

He gazed slit-eyed into her eyes. "Ye're a temptress. That's what ye are."

"I vait for you to be ready 'gain." Her hand went to her nipple and rolled it between her forefinger and thumb and smiled at him.

~~~

Ellen rose on an early May Saturday morning. It was overcast and chilly, but this did not dampen her spirits. She was relieved that she didn't have to stay home with her little sister during Annie's citizenship ceremony later that day. She, Annie MacDonald, Pappa's friend Ed Murphy, Pappa Liam, and Mamma boarded the train for Duluth. Annie had been in America for nearly a year. Baby Liisa stayed home with Saimi, who volunteered wholeheartedly. Saimi would take Liisa to the Huttunen's for the day where she would have lots of help from the grandsons of her man-friend, Matti. They had had a baby sister who died a few years ago. They adored her and missed her, and now adored Ellen's baby sister. Young Arvid was always vying for Ellen's attention at school where she was admired by one other boy. Ellen knew young Arvid would be disappointed she was not coming to his house.

"I see you all the time, Arvid," she'd told him the day before they left. "It's not every day I get to go anywhere. I'm going to Duluth."

On the train, Ellen latched onto Annie and Ed, sitting between them on a seat that faced Liam and Eva. After fifteen minutes or so Liam called Ellen to sit between him and Eva. At first Ellen was put out but then she realized she had a better vantage point for studying Grannie Annie and Pappa Ed. She also realized with sudden delight that she had her mother to herself. She loved her little sister and spent much time caring for her, but she was an occasional nuisance, crying right when Ellen had sole attention of her mother or Pappa Liam.

Ellen leaned against her mother's side and studied Annie and Ed. _Yep,_ she thought, _they're in love._ Ellen knew that Annie spent time at Ed's, even overnight. She was trying to imagine them doing that thing her mother and Liam did behind their locked bedroom door, or in the _sauna_ , or out by the lake on the ground. _It's the "act" that parents do_ , _and before you know it; your mother's belly is growing with a baby inside it._ She was intensely curious about Grannie Annie and Pappa Ed, so she continued to study them as the grown-ups talked.

After a while, Ellen became so mesmerized by her mother's voice reverberating into her ear that she fell asleep. She felt annoyed when she woke up a while later realizing she most likely missed something. _Lots of somethings,_ she thought.

"Vhat did you talk about vhile I vas sleeping?" she asked her stepfather.

"Numerous interesting things too late to mention again," Liam said with a deadpan face. Their relationship had evolved into a close one. The two liked to tease each other at times, testing each other's wits.

Ellen gave Liam a cranky, slit-eyed look, which made him chuckle. Ellen overlooked his teasing when she realized the train was pulling into the station in Duluth. She stood to watch out the window.

"We have some time before the ceremony," Liam said as they prepared to disembark. "We can have something to eat here to hold us 'til a meal later. We know of an inn down by the docks for dinner before we leave for home."

"Sounds grand, Liam," Ed said. He helped Annie off the step to the weather-worn wooden platform.

Much had happened since Annie's arrival. Saimi and Liam had introduced her to Ed, a widower with no current prospects. One day, Saimi had taken her unawares to the soda fountain. Ed and Annie's first date was going to Sunday Mass. After that, they were inseparable. Ed started to spend a lot of time with the Dadys and Ellen got to know him as a grandfather figure. Pappa Liam and Ed seemed like best friends now. Whenever he visited Annie, Ed always made sure he had a conversation with her about school and her interests. Ellen liked that a lot. It was the same with Grannie Annie. Ellen had become very close to both of them.

"Ye're gonna be a beauty just like yer mother, Ellen," Pappa Ed said once. "But that's not all. Ye're gonna go far with that brilliant mind, darlin."

That made Ellen grin.

~~~

At the station, they headed into the lunch room. Everyone was amiable, as they sat at a rectangular table in the busy station diner. They ordered hot dogs and lemonade. Liam noticed how Annie beamed especially when Ed spoke. _She's really in love with him,_ Liam thought.

"Annie," Liam said. "I don't think I've ever seen ye so happy before."

Annie blushed and glanced at Ed.

"Since I started at the mansion in Belfast, I don't think I ever was. Oh, here and there, things were fine, especially when I could mother ye and it made a difference. But I think back, and except for those few short years with my son, I really can't say I've ever been this happy."

"I'm pleased for ye, darlin'," Liam replied.

After taking another bite of his hot dog, Liam glanced at his wife. Eva looked pale to him. He hadn't seen a menstrual cycle other than a light one about two months ago roughly two weeks before Eva had thoroughly entertained him with that memorable extended sex romp at dawn. Liam figured that since Liisa had stopped nursing full time near her first birthday, Eva's cycle had started and she was feeling her oats. He also observed her retreating inward periodically throughout the day perhaps pondering the same thing. If she was pregnant again, that was fine with him. He had a moment of feeling sexually aroused at the possibility. He smiled to himself at how wanton he could become seeing her baby belly, for real, or in his mind's eye. _She's so amazing,_ he thought.

He watched her enjoy the company in her animated state. He looked past her physical beauty and into her soul. He remembered when he first met her how overcome with anger she'd been at her husband and his infidelity. Then the profound despair that nearly killed her when Victor died suddenly with everything between them unresolved. Liam and Eva's transformation through their healing together was nothing short of divine intervention. _Now look at us with our own family and very much in love. Well, if she's pregnant, we'll know shortly, when she starts heavin' her guts._ It was a thought that brought a bit of guilt about her morning sickness, along with the pleasure of thinking about that early morning in March or any of the vastly numerous times since then.

~~~

As she ate her hot dog, Eva wondered if she was with child again. She glanced at Liam, who was looking at her. She knew what he was thinking and exchanged that knowledge through her eyes. Her hand went to her lower belly, unnoticed by the others. Liam smiled, shrugged, and his eyes said, "That's fine." She felt at ease and took another bite of her hot dog. She impishly chewed as she kept eye contact wanting Liam to think it funny. She got an ear to ear grin from him with her inside joke about eating for two again.

~~~

Ellen had thoughts going as she ate her hot dog and drank her root beer float, sitting strategically between Annie and her mother _. What is going on between Mamma and Pappa? They have some secret they are sharing. By the end of the day I will know what it is, or I'm not Ellen Franciina Mattson. I wish I could have Dady as a name, too. Maybe I'll ask them if it's possible. No, I'll stay with Mattson for my father. Will Annie have a baby, too? How old is Pappa Ed? He looks like a grandpa. He's a nice man, and Annie seems to like him. I tink Mamma and Pappa are planning something, but I can't figure it out. I hope it's not having another baby. They sure spend a lot of time in their room with that latch hooked. What don't they want me to see that I haven't already? The baby's in there. Why don't they mind that she's in there? Will I get married someday? Who will I marry? I hope it's Arvid. Not Owen Miller. He's so annoying. I'll never tell Mamma I saw Arvid's pee-pee when he peed behind the barn last juhannus. He didn't care that he showed me. I didn't care that he showed me. I saw Pappa Victor's once, when he was with the lady who died. Why was it so big? Then he put it in her. That's what Liam did to Mamma, and then Liisa was born. Maybe I'll ask Miss Lehto. She knows a lot. That's what I'll do_. Ellen took an exaggerated sip of her root beer float through the wet, flattened paper straw.

~~~

Liam watched Ellen and could see the wheels turning inside her head as she looked from person to person. _My God, what is that girl formulating in her mind? Only she and God know for certain_ , he thought. He could only guess. He cringed a little along with his amusement.

~~~

After the naturalization ceremony Annie MacDonald cried. Ed was more than happy to hold her. Liam, standing near, remembered the mixed emotions at his naturalization. Things were utterly different than what had been planned in the kitchen in Belfast, with those plans going so terribly wrong. He knew what Annie was thinking and he felt those emotions. He wanted to hold her.

"Congratulations, darlin'," Ed said.

Annie let Ed hold her for a few moments, smiling affectionately with him. She then politely let go of him and turned to Liam, letting him wrap his arms around her. The ceremony was, in truth, the end of a long journey that had started more than six years earlier.

"Perhaps," Annie whispered as Liam sobbed, "ye can have a sense of it bein' over now."

~~~

"Good, ve haff fiss boil," Eva said. The group walked into the inn from the blustery waterfront. Outside, it was just too chilly and windy to be enjoyable on the edge of foreboding, choppy Lake Superior. On one side of the inn was the dining room and on the other, a tap room, divided by a wall. It wasn't a fancy place since much of the clientele were sailors and dock workers.

It was well after two in the afternoon; the lunch rush was nearly done. There were just a few customers left in the dining room and several men at the bar in the tap room.

Eva felt uncomfortable. The smell of the tap room reminded her of the long-ago visit to the tavern to quell her anger at Victor. But because she was so hungry she was willing to forego any negative feelings for some melt-in-your-mouth fish chowder and hearty bread. As they sat themselves at a table in the big picture window, she looked at Liam. Something was not right with his expression. He looked as though he had seen a ghost.

Liam glanced at Eva. He appeared to be trying hard to regain his composure.

~~~

_Jesus_ , Liam thought to himself. He felt sick to his stomach. _Is that man at the bar who I think he is? He looks like one of Sheridan McKay's thugs I remember hangin' 'round all the time. The leather vest and newsboy cap give it away. What the hell is he doin' in Duluth? Christ, I hope he hasn't seen me. And if he has, would he recognize me?_

Liam remembered the time he ran from McKay. The money lost didn't matter to McKay any more. From time to time in those years with him, Liam had scoffed at McKay and his absolute authority. That wasn't the issue anymore. The permanent settling of scores would be foremost in McKay's mind.

When the McKay man seemed ready to leave, Liam watched out of the corner of his eye. The man paused to put his cap on before opening the door. He didn't glance at Liam when passing through the door. Neither did he look directly at him when he passed them sitting in full view in the window. But Liam couldn't be absolutely sure, however, since he didn't make eye contact. He took a deep breath when the waitress came up to the table.

Liam decided it was safer to assume McKay's man had seen him. Liam never did know the guy's name, a nefarious figure, always in the shadows around McKay. Now, it was only a matter of time before he would see McKay's men in town. He would have to let Ed in on this. Perhaps Ed would have friends, not unlike Patrick O'Brien's Catholic gang in Belfast. With hope, Liam and Ed could set up a look-out system, mostly to protect Eva and the children. Liam wouldn't put it past McKay to kidnap children or wives to flush him out. He was dangerous and merciless. Liam had seen what he was capable of. Many times, Liam had seen McKay whisper in the ear of men like the one Liam had just seen and then hearing of someone associated with fist fighting come to harm or death shortly thereafter.

Liam remembered flashes of a time in Kansas City where he'd had three challengers in one night. Liam was supposed to defeat the first two handily and lose the third fight. The odds on the third challenger were about thirty to one. McKay had secretly placed a large amount on the challenger and planned on winning big money. The manager of the venue caught wind that McKay had been fixing fights and skimming from the venue's winnings and had confronted McKay on the issue. The next day manager turned up missing. Two days later, his body was found dumped in a warehouse near the slaughter houses, beaten nearly beyond recognition. No evidence was found against the suspected perpetrator. McKay was gone with the next train out of town. The law knew who was responsible but there were too many officials in McKay's pocket who benefited monetarily from his boxing racket.

When Liam had lost the fight he was supposed to win, he had no doubt in his mind what McKay was going do to him. Even in his drunken state he was able to grab his belongings, get to the train station, and hop one out of St. Louis without anyone seeing him. He just kept hopping trains until he arrived at the Mattson boarding house hundreds of miles from McKay. Now his past was coming back to haunt him and he was putting his family and loved ones in danger. Inside, he was seething with anger—at himself.

### Chapter 2

By mid-May, Liam was sure that Eva was pregnant. One morning he was startled out of a peaceful early morning doze when Eva scrambled out of the bedroom to run to the privy. She didn't make it out the door and was forced to use the kitchen sink. Liam went to her when he heard her retching. Ellen heard it, too, and emerged from her bedroom.

"I'll get a vet cloth, Pappa. You get her to bed."

"But, I haff to pee," Eva squeaked.

Liam fetched her robe and took her to the privy. The early morning was chilly, but it promised a nice spring day. It was a tight fit, but each of them sat on one of the two holes in the bench. Liam had the child sized one.

Eva looked at Liam. "Don't say nottink," she warned.

"I won't. But, don't ye think—"

"Here ve go 'gain," Eva said. "I feel like I yust had baby yesterday." She and Liam sat for several minutes.

"Yer one-woman sex orgy last March was successful. Congratulations, Mrs. Dady. I remember well how amorous ye were." He was satisfied he was able to say something that maybe could make Eva smile but she wasn't paying attention.

"Are you happy, Liam?"

"I'm happy. I'm all right with it," he said. "I am all for children as long as you are. We are still young and healthy, you especially." He looked impishly at her. "And ye're fit with those child-birthin' hips of yers. You just popped Liisa out." Liam laughed while Eva smacked him on his arm. She almost smiled.

"Dere vas no 'pop,' Liam Dady. Dere vas plenty hard labor." She was still a bit grumpy.

"Come here, darlin," Liam said. He gave her a soft kiss, the kind he knew made her melt. When it ended he said, "Now, there's my girl."

"Don't try to be funny, yust kiss me like dat."

"I love ye, Eva, and I'm glad we're havin' another baby." He spoke into her hair. "You liked the kiss."

"Yes, I did. Vhy you say dat?"

"I could feel ye relax."

She dampened his ear with a heavy sigh.

~~~

After cleaning themselves, they went in to wash at the kitchen sink. If there was one thing Liam had taught everyone at the boarding house, it was better hygiene practices especially when Ellen had had the influenza. Annie, Eva, and Saimi got into the habit of washing before food preparation. Annie even passed the information on to Ed in the kitchen at the soda fountain.

"Wash with soap and very warm water," Liam would remind everyone, specifically after toileting. "That kills and washes away a lot of germs."

Now that Ellen had made up her mind she was going to be a doctor, Liam and Eva would watch her at the kitchen sink, washing as though she was prepping for surgery.

"She looks quite serious about being a physician," Liam would say to Eva, who would beam with pride.

~~~

That morning Liam was attentive towards Eva, her first sick morning. He helped her wash up and get dressed. At first she protested but then she relented to his need to pamper her.

_He is happy,_ she said to herself, _but he feels guilty that I am throwing up because he made me pregnant. And it's not going to go away any time soon. I hope he's not going to be so overprotective this time._

As he buttoned up her blouse, she cupped his face in her hands and stared at him. He avoided looking at her and kept up the buttoning until he was finished.

"What?" He finally looked into her eyes seemingly irritated.

"I luff you, but I can dress myself. I like vhen you take dem off." She brought his face to hers and kissed him.

"I can't promise ye I'll be less protective. But we can take it one day at a time."

She felt her heart sink a little.

"I saw what just happened in yer face, and I'm sorry," he whispered. He took her face in his hands and kissed her back. He finished dressing and went to the kitchen.

~~~

Liam did not tell Eva that he had talked to Ed about the dangerous man who was after him, that Ed had men watching the house and the train station now and that it wasn't a matter of _if_ McKay or his men would show up, but _when_.

_I haven't a fuckin' clue as to what my plan is,_ Liam said to himself, his anxiety mounting day by day.

As far as Eva was concerned, he thought it was better that she was blissfully ignorant than knowledgeable and worried to death. _She'll be angry as hell when she finds out I've been keeping this information from her. But perhaps her anger won't last long._ He would blame it on wanting to protect her, which was absolutely true. _I hate_ _lying to her._ He seethed inside again.

~~~

Liam was aware that Ellen was involved in a few events at the Mid-Summer Festival. She and her best friend Katia were in a group that would perform traditional Finnish dances. She was scheduled at eleven in the morning. She also had entered some weaving projects: a table runner and a rug in her age category. Eva had been teaching her how to weave.

It was blistering hot and sunny on the first day of summer in the North Country.

"How can it be so severely cold here in the wintertime," Liam puzzled, "and be so damned hot in the summer?"

No one could answer him. It was just that Eva was so sick and the heat didn't help.

Eva was severely sick with this pregnancy but bound and determined to be at her daughter's performances. She had dressed in her lightest summer suit. Liam had to support her physically while Annie held an umbrella over her. Her nausea had been debilitating. She was light-headed if she wasn't lying down. A few weeks prior Liam brought home an I-V line and put her on fluids for a day or two.

Annie and Ed had come along to the Festival. So had a group of Irish cronies of Ed under the guise of curiosity to keep an eye out for nefarious characters. Liam thought the good guys were a bit nefarious looking themselves but he was glad for them.

As soon as they arrived Liam turned to Ellen. "As soon as yer dancin' is finished, I've got to take yer mother home, out of this heat."

"I don't like this baby making Mamma so sick, Pappa," Ellen said.

"I'm sorry, though it really isn't the baby's fault. It's just a symptom from the baby being new. Mamma's body needs to get used to it. It should be over soon. Mamma's almost four months."

"I wordy, you know, Pappa. Mamma needs caring."

"Then you and I are a team, and we will care for her." Liam was touched by Ellen's concern for her mother, a carryover from her days when Victor was sneaking around behind Eva's back. He knew Ellen would do anything where her mother's safety and happiness were concerned. He witnessed it again after Eino's attack. Ellen had been fearless. "But, first, you dance for Mamma," he said.

"All right, I do it."

There was a group from Hibbing that danced before Ellen's troupe. When it was her turn, she stood poised and determined among her group of about ten girls, at the ready for the music.

Liam was impressed with her grace and ability. When her dance was over, she raced to her mother.

"Ellen, you looked beautiful," Eva said in Finnish. "Everyone in Finland would've been proud." Eva interpreted in English for Liam what she had said to Ellen.

"Mamma, I tink you should go home now. Liam and I will take you."

"But don't you vanna stay vit Katia? You planned it. Den you and Katia come to our house tonight. Annie and Ed say dey stay vit you. Saimi, too. Look, Arvid is here. You stay," Eva coaxed. "Pappa vill stay vit me. I am fine vit Pappa."

Ellen looked at Liam. He gave her the all-right wink.

"All right, I'll stay."

~~~

Liam and Eva said their goodbyes and took a cab home. Saimi had made a pitcher of lemonade and left it in the icebox. Liam took Eva to the bedroom and stripped her down to her camisole and bloomers. He opened all the windows wide for a cross breeze. She lay down propped with pillows. He quickly got her a drink of lemonade, chipping ice pieces from the larger ice chunk.

"Here, sweetheart," he said and handed her the glass. She drank the whole glass thirstily. "I'll get more," he said.

He disappeared into the dark kitchen and came back with a refill. When he returned, he found Eva asleep. He sighed and sat in the rocker, but not before taking off his shirt, shoes, and socks. Then he drank the lemonade meant for Eva. He was glad for the cross breeze. It blew gently over Eva making the wisps of hair on top of her head move with it.

He felt guilty, as he watched her. A small furrow between her eye brows remained. He had asked Dr. Andersen how common this severe morning sickness was. The answer was: "Not that uncommon." He was to keep her hydrated and out of the hot sun. A few weeks earlier, Liam, Ellen, Annie, and Ed had planted the garden with Eva directing, sitting in the shade of the barn. Ellen had helped with the weed pulling and watering. _It's not growing too badly now_ , he thought. He stretched his neck to look out the window to see small plants sprouting in neat rows where before there was empty soil. Gazing upon her again, he suddenly had an overwhelming urge to be closer to her. He carefully lay down next to her. Soon he was dozing.

When he woke, the sun was much lower in the western sky, the shadows outside much longer. It was still hot but the promise of the cooler evening was relieving. Liam turned his head toward Eva and found her looking at him. She smiled softly.

"How do you feel?" he asked in a quiet voice, softly putting a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Lil bedder. I vas happy to sleep."

"I'm sorry, Eva."

"Vhat you mean?"

"I got ye pregnant and ye're sick like this. I'm sorry."

She shifted her hips to face him. "Dis not you fault, silly man. I vas _villi ruusu_. I make _you_. Don't you 'member?" She grinned.

"Oh, aye, I remember very well. I called ye a temptress." He grinned along with her.

She crinkled up her nose. "I don't feel like dat right now."

"I wouldn't think ye would." He looked into her blue eyes framed by her pale face. He noticed she wasn't as anxious as she'd seemed earlier. "Would ye like some more lemonade?"

"You get me some?"

"Of course, I will."

As he got up from the bed, he heard happy chatting as the front door opened.

"Sounds like the whole gang's back." Liam pulled his shirt on and greeted the lively mob as he walked into the kitchen.

"I brought some more lemons from the grocers," Annie said. "I'll make some more lemonade straight away."

"That'll be grand," Liam said. "We've finished off the last. This one can go to Eva." He walked with the glass toward the bedroom.

"We're not upsettin' Eva, are we, Liam?" Annie quietly called after him.

From the bedroom they heard, "No, you are not. I feel mutts bedder, now."

Liam went to the bedroom and gave Eva the lemonade. Once again, she drank it, this time in three gulps instead of one.

"Dat is so good," she said, breathless. She lay back again against the pillows and stretched.

"I can get up and help," she said and started to get up.

"I know what ye want to do, and ye're not goin' to," Liam said, using his medical authority.

Annie's voice came from the kitchen. "Don't get up on our account, Eva. We can take care of anything we need."

"You heard her," Liam barked. "Lie down. Stay."

"Vhat I am? Dog?"

"Sorry. That was a bit harsh," Liam said. "Annie, would ye like to take my place in here for a few minutes? Eva's about to throw the lemonade glass at my head."

Annie poked her head in. She had a freshly made glass of lemonade in her hand. "I'll get ye another. Then I'll be right in."

Liam handed Annie the empty glass he'd happily taken it from his irritated wife. He kept eye contact with Eva not getting the reaction from her he wanted. He put one knee on the bed and kissed her. "You are not easily amused right now, are ye?"

"No, but I still luff you."

"That makes me feel better."

Annie came back into the bedroom with a soft smile to chat with Eva while Liam took Ed to the front porch and closed the door. He did a wide sweep of the front yard and the side of the house to check for large-eared children. He heard them in the far back yard.

"Have ye heard anything of McKay?" he asked Ed.

"So far we've seen nothin' unusual. No strangers skulkin' 'round town or comin' off the train. There's no talk of any leather-vested thugs."

"That's good," Liam said, though he was skeptical that no one would ever come. "I'd still like the house to be watched and I have money to pay anyone who's up for it round the clock. They can keep watch at the station as well."

"I'll keep a couple o' teams goin'. There's always a need for extra cash."

"Thanks, Ed."

"Ye can't keep this up forever, Liam."

"I am near to beggin' him to get here. McKay's one for makin' people sweat waitin' for 'im. It's workin' with me only because I have Eva and the girls now. If it was only me, I'd go after him."

As Liam spoke he kept an ear open for any children sneaking up along the side of the house.

"Too bad ye don't know where he is precisely," Ed said.

"He's protected heavily and almost impossible to get at." Liam sat quietly but his mind was racing. "It may be that I'll have to take off with the family. Perhaps out west somewhere. Ye say yer daughter and her husband are in Montana?"

"Aye, in Helena at the mines there. Colleen writes it's a bit wild but not as bad as thirty or so years ago."

"My colleague, John Andersen says he hears doctors are needed out there."

"Colleen says the mine company takes care of the town quite well. Perhaps there's money to be had if ye go."

"It's not the money I'd be after. I've got plenty. My mother finally sent the paperwork for me to receive an inheritance. I wasn't countin' on it when we left Belfast. It's all tucked away in the bank here."

"Such the lucky man, then." Ed smiled.

"I agreed to send her occasional letters and photographs of her grandchild and now in December, grandchildren."

"Annie filled me in on what went on in Belfast as ye grew up. Thank God fer Annie, I say."

Liam smiled in agreement, then became animated and asked, "Ed, so when are ye goin' to marry the girl? Eh?"

"She says she's not ready. Can ye believe that?"

"No, I can't. I'll have to scold her, and tell her to get movin'." Liam got a smile from Ed.

At that moment, Eva, lightly redressed, came out on the porch with glasses of lemonade for them. Annie was with her.

"Ye look a good deal better, Eva," Liam said. "It relieves me to see ye."

"We just put three plump chickens in the oven," Annie said. "Saimi bought them from the chicken farm and they needed to get cooked before they spoil in this heat." She seemed happy to have things under control especially in the kitchen. She was quite animated about the chickens which she explained were in the oven along with some potatoes and the last of the prior season's turnips.

While Annie and Eva got a chair Liam quickly turned to Ed. "Maybe she wants to do more in yer kitchen, Ed. After all, that was her life. Think about it."

Ed's eyes got wide as though what Liam said was an epiphany. Liam raised his eyebrows in response. It seemed to be _the_ revelation. Then the conversation turned to idle chat between the couples.

~~~

That evening after supper, Annie didn't return with Ed to his place over the soda fountain. Eva retired early with Liisa after Liam gave them both a bath upstairs. Arne and Arvid were picked up by their parents on their way home from the festival, and Ellen and Katia went to bed after their baths.

After cleanup, Annie and Liam returned to the front porch.

"It's nice to have ye alone, Liam," Annie said. She patted his hand.

"I hear that ye're balkin' at marryin' Ed. What's the hold-up?" He looked at her.

"I just don't want to lose myself, Liam. I've been a widow for so long that I've forgotten what it's like livin' with a man. And now it's a man who can cook. What am I supposed to do?"

Liam couldn't believe his precise reading of her and the situation. "Do ye know, I told Ed that might be the stumblin' block? I told him so and ye should've seen his eyes light up." Liam looked at her face, studying it for her thoughts. "Is he good to ye, Annie? Do ye feel comfortable with him?"

"Oh, aye, he is good to me. Better than good. I love him to pieces." She paused, looked at Liam, and blushed. "He's a grand lover, too. Why am I waiting? What the hell is the matter with me?"

"Ye're just scared. Don't ye know ye have the option to say 'yes' or 'no'? I know our society tries hard to put women second but ye don't have to stay there. Eva certainly doesn't. She gives me a boot in me arse when I'm overly bossy. It's up to you, not Ed, to find the place ye want to be."

It was Annie's turn to look at Liam as though what he said was an epiphany. Her eyes went wide as Liam raised his eyebrows in response. They laughed.

"Is it too late to call a cab?" Annie asked.

"No, I'll call one right now." He searched her face. "Are ye sure this is what ye want? Because I'll always be here for ye."

"Oh, aye. I'm sure, Liam."

He went to the telephone in the foyer and called a cab for Annie. She went to freshen up in her room, re-emerging on the porch just as the cab arrived. Liam escorted her to the carriage door. Before she climbed in, he gave her a kiss as a grown man would give his mother. Then he paid the cabbie and told him to take Annie to Murphy's Soda Fountain.

~~~

Two weeks later, Annie and Ed were married at the Catholic Church. A reception was held in the fellowship hall. Liam stood up as best man and Annie asked Eva to be her matron of honor. Eva was thrilled she was able to say yes. Her severe morning sickness had abated enough to where she was nearly back to normal. Eleven now, Ellen, the flower girl, resplendent in her blue linen suit, unpretentiously charmed all who ventured a conversation with her.

Annie and Ed's wedding night was spent where they felt the most comfortable—the apartment above the soda fountain. The next morning they showed up bleary-eyed for a big breakfast at the boarding house among friends. Eva and Saimi cooked as Annie relaxed with Ed. Both Annie and Ed were told they were not to cook in any way, shape, or form for the entire day.

Then it was out to the lake with everyone for a picnic. It was a most beautiful summer day. The sky was a dazzling blue and not a cloud in it.

The Irish folk took care of the food for the picnic, bringing tables and chairs and tarps for shade. The entire congregation of St. Patrick's came with children and musicians. All the children knew each other from school and stripped to their skivvies, swimming along with half the adults.

Decorum blew away with the summer breeze. Ed, who was a staunch believer in the lesser god of Jamesons whiskey, had more than his share with his Irish compatriots. Annie sipped on no more than one or two along with her lady friends. Liam could not but he was all right with it. His family and his ability to take care of them were more important than ruining nearly three years of sobriety. There was a bonfire and a pot of jungle coffee at the ready sitting on a grid at the edge of a cook fire.

Eva was glad for some shade in the sunny, hot weather and a rocking chair to sit in. She could see all the pale skin of the Irish beginning to flush scarlet but no one seemed to care at the moment; it was too grand of a day. She saw her elder daughter red as a cardinal running wild. Liam had Liisa with him. Eva could hear her squeals of delight as Liam dunked Liisa in the cool water and played with her along the shore. Liisa dug in the dirt with the little garden tools Ellen brought. Liam had to watch closely so Liisa wouldn't put dirt or pebbles in her mouth. At one point Eva saw Liam smell Liisa's back end and make a face of disgust. He looked over at Eva with the same face. She grinned and waved him over for a clean diaper. Liisa was not happy. She fussed and kicked when Liam took her away from the water.

"God, she stinks," Liam said to Eva as he arrived to the shaded area. He put Liisa down and looked at her. "Ye need changin'. Ye're stinky in yer drawers."

The seventeen-month-old tried to peer inside her diaper, sniffing. She looked at Liam, wrinkled her nose, and snorted.

"See. What did I tell ye? Stinky drawers. What would Mamma say? _Paskaa_ —what?"

" _Housut_." Eva laughed at their daughter's antics.

"Liisa, they need to come off and I need to clean ye," Liam explained. "When we're all done, I'll take back to the water."

Liisa lay down on the grass ready for someone to change her. Eva got all the necessary cloths and towels ready for Liam. She even went to the water a few feet away and wet one cloth for wiping the messy bits.

"Ye're like a surgery assistant," Liam said. "Thanks for prepping all this for me, sweetheart."

Liam finished the procedure with skill and swiftness. He had to. Liisa squirmed and fussed the whole time.

"Ye're a tough nugget, Liisa. I don't know how Mamma does it. I give her a good deal of credit." As one hand held his daughter's flailing feet, Liam looked at Eva and feigned exasperation.

He let go of Liisa's feet. "All finished. Are ye ready, my wee selkie?"

"DA! DA! DA! DA! DA!" Liisa yelled exuberantly. She stood clumsily, bottom in the air. When she gained what footing she had, she started to run to the water, finding every dip and rise in the uneven ground. She barely maintained her uprightness; her dark mass of curls bounced with every hard step. Everyone who witnessed the baby making her way cheered her on. They applauded when she made it to her toys upright with Liam right behind her.

~~~

Annie and a group of her women church friends brought chairs to the shade with Eva, who was glad for the company.

"I saw ye sittin' here, Eva," Annie said, "and I wanted to get to ye as soon as I could. I'm dead tired but I'm havin' the time o' my life. I feel like this is what heaven could be." Annie had her own rocker and plopped down with a grunt and a sigh and giggled at herself.

"Are you stiff, Annie?" Annie's friend Orla snickered. The other two, Nan and Bernadette, took seats on the quilt.

"Jesus, Orla," Annie hissed. "Shut yer pie hole. The men will hear." Annie's face rushed with heat. She couldn't help another giggle.

The women laughed heartily, including Annie.

Benny remarked in that same snicker, "I didn't know Edward still had it in him."

"Oh, God in heaven, he does," Annie said laughing conspiratorially. The women guffawed. Annie pretended to fan herself.

"We're all envious," Orla said. "Except for Eva, I'm sure. Liam is a very handsome, sexy man. Ye're a lucky girl fer snaggin' him. Lots o' girls drool over him. Ye'd best be careful, Eva. He just might get stolen from ye without ye knowin' it."

Eva took the innocent comment as only she knew how. She didn't want to show her annoyance thereby ruining Annie and Ed's day. "Tank you," she said not knowing what else to say.

Suddenly Eva felt horribly uncomfortable. Her belly churned. She looked over at Liam still playing with Liisa and talking to some children sitting next to him. _Good. No women near him,_ like Victor would've had luring them surreptitiously like little kittens to a saucer of sweet cream.

"Eva didn't snag anyone, Orla," Annie said. "It's not in her. She's sweet through and through." Annie gave Eva a wink. "I know my Liam and he fell in love with Eva on his own. He's a one-woman man, mind." She spoke in motherly admonishment while keeping it humorous.

Eva glanced at Annie. Her eyes told Annie, "Thank you."

"Well, I still think ye're lucky," Orla said a little less sardonically.

Eva was unhappy with her negative fearful reaction to Orla's remark. It brought up memories of women giving her unfriendly looks as she made public appearances with Victor. He wouldn't respond to other women's advances when she was with him, unless they were separated by a wall and she couldn't see him. He'd sneak off and be gone for spans of time, returning flushed and slightly mussed. _He hid well behind the social drinking and his showy friendliness,_ she realized _._ In retrospect, she couldn't believe how obvious it all had been and how much she'd refused to see. _Right under my damned nose,_ she thought.

Without warning Eva began to cry. She knew her pregnancies could bring on emotions at any time. It was like her monthlies, only worse. It went past crying into a panic attack of sorts.

Annie came to her. "Sweetheart, what? Do ye want me to get Liam?"

Liam scooped Liisa into his arms and ran to Eva. He seemed to be ultra-sensitive to her again now that she was pregnant. He was constantly in touch with Eva with his ears as well as his eyes not to mention sensing her emotions. Annie took Liisa and went directly to Eva in one giant movement.

He said nothing. He enveloped her in his arms and held her as she wailed into his neck.

Eva knew the women around them could hear his whispers of sweet nothings as if he were comforting a child. She willed there would be no doubt in any of their minds including the sarcastic Orla of his single-minded love for her. There would be no possibility for anyone else to penetrate their bond and wreak havoc. There would be no tearing asunder. His demonstration would leave in their minds a wonder, a curiosity of the bond Liam and Eva had created between each other and from where it came. Eva knew none of the women in the circle had any idea of how the couple came to be.

She could hear Annie whisper and explain. "There is love between them that is impenetrable. There's not a chance that anything could come between them. That's how my Liam is, girls. Eva's pregnant again, about four months now. If ye had a mind, Orla, ye should offer an apology to Eva."

~~~

Eva and Liam walked away from the crowd. Liam gave his children a glance just to know where they were. He spotted Ellen deep in conversation with young Arvid at the shoreline. Liisa was still with her Gran Annie who had gotten up to escort Liisa back to the water's edge. He then tended to Eva.

"What's this all about, then?" he asked tenderly. He took her in his arms again.

Eva spoke into his neck, "I ... Orla said somptink she tink funny 'bout you. It remind me of vomen givink me bad faces vhen I vit Victor in Finn Hall. Dey say I vas not 'posed to be vit him. I cry for I don't see back den how much vomen hate me because I haff man dey vant."

"Back then wasn't yer fault. It was a hard place to be for ye. When Orla said that, ye may have felt weak and powerless like ye did back in those days. Ye can get it back. If need be, say what ye said to the group of women ye found me with at the Finn Hall festival." He paused a moment. "By the way, what did ye say to them? Ye said it in Finnish."

She sniffed and blotted her nose on Liam's shirt, looking up with a faint smile. "I say to dem you vere not anytink like my dead husband, so go 'vay."

"God, that was tough," Liam said, surprised. "Good for ye, Eva. That's the way ye need to be every time a situation comes up like that, even if ye don't ever say it. Just think it." He hugged her and kissed her head. He started to chuckle silently.

"Vhat you tink is funny?" She looked up at him again, frowning.

"You. Ye're a tough nugget and ye don't know it." He smiled again. "A damn tough wench, ye are."

"Vhat's vench?"

"Someone not to be messed with," he said with soft humor. He scanned for the children again. All was well. "Do ye want to go back to yer chair in the shade?"

"Yes, I go."

He kissed her on the nose. She kissed him on his chin. They walked back to the shaded area, arms around each other's waists. "I just thought of something," he added.

"Vhat?"

"What am I gonna do when some man goes after you? Ye're beautiful, and some men will go after a married woman, too. Don't ye remember? I did. I wanted ye."

"I nefer tink 'bout dat. You can yust punce him in a face. You are good at dat."

That made him laugh, setting her off in a fit of giggles. He started to lead her back to her rocking chair.

"Vait. I like to have lil somptink to eat," she announced, still in her giggles. She veered toward the food tables.

"How did that possibility escape me? Of course, ye want somethin' to eat," he said, feigning sarcasm. "It's been an hour since ye last had somethin'."

She punched him lightly in his ribs, which reminded him of McKay and fighting. Startled at the reminder, he quickly shoved it back into the hole in which he wanted to eventually put McKay. He continued on to the food table as if the thoughts about McKay had never occurred to him.

"You look funny 'gain, like in Dulut. I see it den."

"Where?" Liam feigned ignorance.

"At fiss boil in restaurant."

"I don't remember," he said. "I think I'm still feelin' the guilt for makin' ye pregnant again, you bein' so sick. But I'm very happy ye're feelin' better. Now," Liam rubbed his hands together and changing the subject to Eva's cravings, focusing on the vast table of Irish food, "what looks good to ye?"

"I tink I like meat, any kind, every kind." She picked up a fork and a plate from the stack and pierced a piece of meat from each entre. "Mmmm, it looks good. I like bread vit lotta budder. Den I vant piece of cake."

"Don't ye think you should have a vegetable?"

"You can haff it," she said, smiling like Ellen would've.

### Chapter 3

Two and a half weeks after Ed and Annie's wedding, they barged in on Eva as she was dusting the parlor. They entered without knocking. Their expressions frightened her.

"Eva, it's Liam," Ed said. He looked grim. Eva began to wobble and become light headed. Both Annie and Ed caught her and took her to the sofa. Ed left for the kitchen.

"The Sheriff is comin' to talk to ye," Annie said. "Liam's been kidnapped—taken."

"Vhat it mean?"

As Annie sat with Eva on the sofa holding her hand, Ed came back with a glass of water.

Annie continued, "We have somethin' to confess. Both Ed and I know what this is about. It has everythin' to do with Liam's life before he came here."

Annie told Eva everything as Eva cried. She included the story of Liam seeing one of McKay's thugs in Duluth.

"I see hees face," Eva said. "Somptink vas bad. He don't tell me."

As Eva heard the explanation, the Sheriff arrived. Ed let him in. The Sheriff had Liam's medical bag with him and put it off to the side.

"Mrs. Dady, we're doing everything we possibly can to find your husband," he said. "Mr. and Mrs. Murphy have been giving us excellent information along with Mack Jackson, the cabbie who works near the hospital. I've wired the big cities in the region. Minneapolis authorities say they have wind of Sheridan McKay's syndicate working the area. That's where they would take him. McKay takes risks and it's more than likely he's there."

"How you know vhat happen today?" Eva asked Ed.

"I—we—had men watchin' and keepin' track of what was goin' on. They've been watchin' you and the children, the house, Liam, the train station. McKay's men slipped into town, and my men missed intervening. They ran to me at the fountain when McKay's thugs took Liam."

Eva could barely keep up. She heard Annie speak again saying it would be best if the girls went to Huttunen's with Saimi Laivo, out of town and out of the way.

"I'll help ye pack some things for them, Eva. The sheriff's deputy will take them in his carriage."

"How lonk he been gone?" Eva asked the sheriff, still barely able to stand, she was shaking so hard.

"Mack the cabbie and Ed's friends saw something around one o'clock. We found his doctor's bag in the street."

Eva looked at the bag, then the clock. It was almost four. It terrified her making her cry again.

"They would've taken him on the two o'clock train if that was their mode of transportation to get him to McKay in Minneapolis."

~~~

Sometime mid-day, Liam left the hospital to get to an urgent visit at a home outside of town. As he stepped outside the hospital, he couldn't find a cab. He knew one would show up any second. He looked up to see what he thought was a cab and hailed it. When the vehicle arrived, two men jumped out. They were wearing leather vests.

"Ye finally found me"

"Hello, Dady. Who'd a thunk you'd be a doctor. You were a wreck of a man last time we saw you. McKay's been wonderin' where you've been all this time." He shoved Liam. "Get in the fuckin' carriage."

Liam had no choice. One of them had a gun. He dropped his doctor's bag in the street as they pushed him to the floor. One of them got into the back with Liam. The one with the gun hopped in the driver seat and drove off. As the carriage drove north, the man who held Liam to the floor said, "It looks as though your look-outs are a little late. They just missed us."

"They'll be lookin' for me as soon as they report it, which means just minutes."

"If someone tries to rescue you, we'll kill 'em."

It seemed to Liam that they were going in a big circle, staying out of town, perhaps going back to the train station. "Are ye takin' me to McKay?" he asked.

"He wanted to kill you. He's in Minneapolis waiting with bated breath for you to get there. You holler anything at the train station, Dady, and we won't just kill you, we'll kill the innocent bystanders. Don't think you'll fight your way out of it either. Bullets beat fists every time. I see yer knuckles are still scarred though."

McKay's men didn't bluff. Liam remained cooperative, for now.

~~~

The train was about fifteen minutes down the train tracks from Duluth when Liam decided to put an escape plan into motion. He was wondering if McKay's men would be dumb enough to fall for it. He had no choice but to try.

"I need to take a wicked piss. Will ye let me go?"

"Sure, why not. It's not like there's any windows big enough to jump out of," the thug said.

Liam was left alone in the cramped bathroom. It just so happened that the toilet was simply a hole that dropped to the ground along the tracks. After Liam quietly locked the door, he immediately grasped the plank with the hole in it and tugged at it a few times until it came off in his hands. It left a hole big enough to climb out and drop to the ground. The tricky part was to stay out of the wheels. As if on cue, the train slowed, probably for a slow freight train carrying iron ore on the tracks in front of them. Taking advantage of the slowing train Liam slipped through the opening, landed on the ground and rolled out of the way. He hurt his shoulder on the gravel track bed and moments later he realized his forehead was cut. In spite of his injuries, he ran as fast as he could the other way through the woods and bushes at the edge of the track, back to Eva.

Liam made his way to a farm house about a mile up. He happened to know the family from a recent house call and told them his plight and that he needed to get to town as fast as possible. They were more than glad to help him, even though it was getting late.

~~~

With Annie's help, Eva and Saimi got the girls off to Huttunen's farm by six. Ellen didn't want to go. She wanted to help find her Pappa.

"Darlin'," Annie spoke sweetly to her. "We need to get ye out of harm's way. The men who took yer Pappa are not very nice. We'll get him to ye soon. Liisa needs you. Pappa Ed and I will take care of things at the boardin' house with yer Mamma."

Eva, her panic barely controlled, kissed her children and off they went with Saimi and the armed deputy.

"Eva, come into the kitchen with me while I find something to cook for everyone's supper," Ed said. He brought in the rocker for her. She couldn't sit for very long and got up to pace often. He got her a hot cup of chamomile tea.

Annie found some ham to fry. She peeled some potatoes and cleaned some baby carrots new from the garden, then put them to boil. In half an hour, everyone was ready to sit and eat, except for Eva. She did not come to the table. She stayed at the parlor window, vigilant for Liam's return. She heard Annie call her and reluctantly went to the kitchen.

Standing at the stove Annie said, "Eva, you need to eat. Liam will not be happy to hear ye're not eating when he comes—"

As Annie said the words, the front door burst open. He was dirty, his suit coat was missing, and his shirt had a huge rip along the shoulder seam. He had a bloodied forehead and scratches on his face and several abrasions on his knuckles.

"Thanks be to Jesus and Mary," Annie breathed.

"Where's Eva?" Liam was out of breath.

"Liam! I vas tink you dead." Eva started to move towards him from the doorway to the kitchen but began to collapse.

Liam ran to her and caught her as he fell on his knees. In spite of his condition, he scooped Eva into his arms and carried her to their bed.

"Liam," Annie said. "She hasn't had a thing to eat."

"Yust let me hold you, den I eat. Come to me, Liam." Eva held her arms out to him from the bed. He came to her immediately and sat on the edge of the bed with Eva in his arms.

Annie and Ed stepped out and closed the bedroom door to give them privacy.

Eva began crying uncontrollably.

Liam held her and whispered, "I'm here, darlin'," and, "Shhh, sweetheart."

"Vhat happen?" she asked in her panic.

"My past has caught up with me, but we'll get through it. I need ye strong, though. Do ye hear me? I need ye strong to help me, sweetheart."

She looked at him with incredulity. "Vhat is happen, Liam? I don't understand."

"Well, before I met ye, I was fightin' and got into some trouble with a very bad man ..." He spent the next five minutes explaining some of his life between Dolly's death and his arrival in Virginia. "I know I should've told ye," he said. "I just didn't want you to worry."

"It same tink vhen Victor make us leef Finland." Her crying abated.

"What do you mean?" Liam looked puzzled.

"Ve haff to leef Finland. Victor haff argument vit pastor who hate Mattsons and hees die. Church vant to blame Victor and put him in prison. Our Constable give us time to get out. Leef Finland." She began to cry again, speaking through wails, "It break my heart to leef my family. I hate—" she started to shout but she stopped.

"You were gonna say you hate Victor for making you leave yer family. Oh, Christ, Eva. Now _I'm_ doin' it to ye." Liam began to cry.

"I vas tventy-two, Liam. If ve haff to leef here, I go vit you. You are my family. I luff you, and you don't cheat on me. Dat's vhat I angry vit Victor about. I yust didn't know it den." She was leaning on Liam and speaking into his dusty clothes, his sweaty neck, and shirt collar.

"I love ye, too." Liam held Eva for many moments. "Where are the girls?" he asked.

"At Huttunen's vit Saimi. Sheriff took dem."

"That's where we need to go as well. We'll eat quickly, take some clothing in a bag, and make some plans in the next day or two. Ed and Annie can help us with two steamer trunks of essentials."

They joined Annie and Ed for supper in the kitchen.

"Liam, I have extra men at the train station," Ed said. "And there will be hidden watches along the road to the farmhouse." He was eating quickly. "That doesn't mean ye should be out dancin' in the road. Stay out o' sight. They're damned sneaky. My boys missed 'em when they got ye."

"I hear ye. Thanks, Ed. Come out tomorrow morning to Matti's, you and Annie."

Liam hugged and kissed Annie goodbye. Liam and Eva got into the covered carriage with Dandy the horse pulling. Eva had a bandana covering her hair and Liam had on overalls like a farmer, with a big straw hat pulled down to cover as much of his stubbled face as possible especially when they passed the train station on their way out.

~~~

Late that night in a second-floor spare bedroom at the Huttunen's farm house, Eva and Liam lay side by side. Liam knew that Eva was still traumatized by the events of the day, but he was glad she had calmed. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

"Ve are not sleepink," Eva whispered.

"No, we're not. I'm keyed up. My shoulder hurts. I landed on it when I jumped out of the train through the shit hole."

"I don't vant to know 'bout it," she declared.

He rolled toward her to cuddle. He softly placed his hand on her nearly five-month belly.

"You can feel baby lil bit," she said, guiding his hand to the small hard ball low in her belly.

He absentmindedly began to rub around it, wondering if it would be a boy or a girl. It would be a Christmas baby, a sweet gift for all of them—wherever they would be. His mind began to race. _We'll have to be mum on the real direction in which we'll head and plant incorrect information with certain people, possibly the boarders, hospital workers, and Ellen's teacher. Only Andersen, Saimi, and Annie and Ed will know the real destination. They can wire information. Then later on, they'll be able to ship more belongings to us. As soon as McKay knows I'm not here anymore, they'll go._

All the while that Liam was deep in thought, he continued rubbing Eva's lower belly. He was brought back to the present when she moaned, pulling her nightgown up and off. She rolled to him, taking his flaccid penis into her hand.

"I didn't know rubbing yer belly like that aroused you."

She kissed his mouth.

"I'll take that as 'Aye, it does'," he quipped as her kiss ended. He hardened, climbed in between her legs and rode away with Eva to a pure, pleasure-filled, earthy expression of love.

Afterwards, they lay together, sweaty and exhausted.

"I think the bed bounced and squeaked enough to wake the dead," he said chuckling. "I seem to remember some sort of noise as I was swept away by yer feminine charm."

"Vhat dat mean?"

He laughed silently in the now quiet night. The windows were open but the air in the room was hot.

"Ye made me sweat, Eva."

"It verdy hot." She got up and opened the door to get some cross ventilation then climbed back to bed.

"So are you." He pulled her close and kissed her.

As they were chatting, he realized he was sticking to her sweaty body. They started to giggle when he tried to pull away, creating a sucking sound loud enough to wake the dead, again.

"I think we made the peepers and crickets outside fall silent." He started to silently giggle again. "Hear them now? They're starting up again."

He was trying to stay as quiet as he could but the laughter took over. He hooted and guffawed uncontrollably into his pillow. In turn, she giggled at him. It was a grand way of releasing the fearful stress of the last day. They calmed a short while later and finally fell asleep after the clock struck four.

~~~

Liam woke startled as Ellen and Liisa came into their room. Ellen announced it was six thirty. The girls seemed steeped in their own stress, mostly Ellen. Liisa clamored into her mamma's arms, settled in, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. As they all sat on the creaky, iron double bed, Liam, with Eva's help, did his best to explain what was going on. The sun had been up since five and was already beginning to heat the small upstairs room that hadn't cooled enough from the several hot days before.

"After breakfast, we'll go to the house and pack. We'll each take one trunk, for now. When we get to where we're goin', Annie and Ed will send more. Ellen, I'll take you to Katia's to say so long."

"But what about Miss Lehto? I love her." Ellen's eyes began to well with tears.

"We'll go to Miss Lehto," Liam acquiesced after balking at the notion, trying to limit contact to as few people as possible. He kissed Ellen on the forehead and wiped her tears with his thumb in an attempt to quell her anxiety. "Right now, we can't tell her where we are going. We have to say we're goin' back east to a job I couldn't refuse at Harvard in Boston."

"What's Harvard?" Ellen inquired. "If I'm gonna tell something, I need to know what it is."

"It's a big University in Boston. And remember, I don't recommend anythin' less than the truth otherwise. This is a matter of safety for us, Ellen."

The fragrance of a hearty Finnish breakfast wafted up the stairs. Liam sniffed with subdued delight. "If you girls go down to the kitchen, Mamma and I can wash up and get dressed," he said. He and Eva were slumped in the double bed, naked as jay birds under the summer weight flannel sheet. "Is that a good plan?"

"Fine," Ellen said, her pout indicating she felt a little pushed out. "Come on, Liisa. Let's go eat."

As soon as Liisa heard the word "eat," she climbed out of Eva's arms and toddled to the open bedroom door, grabbing Ellen's hand. Together their bare feet thudded down the steep enclosed stairs of the little, white clapboard farm house.

"Ellen, tank you for changing Liisa dis mornink," Eva called out, receiving an indiscernible response from Ellen at the bottom of the stairs. She turned to Liam.

"I don't want to wash up yet," he whispered. They could hear the muffled voices of Saimi and Matti as they greeted the girls with sweet, higher-pitched words. Dishes and silverware tinkled and clanked from the kitchen underneath the bedroom floor. "See?" He lifted up the sheet to reveal a very hard cock.

Eva feigned awe and surprise, and started to laugh, "Dat's vhat I do vhen I see Victor's hard penis first time." Her eyes bugged and she gasped. "It make me verdy nervous."

"What does it do to ye now?" Liam asked. He was highly amused by her face. "Or do I need to ask? I think I already know." He gave her a grin.

"It make me—"

"To hell with the noisy bed," Liam said, climbing on top of her.

"Den, I tought Victor vas hurt vhen he moan." She giggled again as Liam couldn't get into her fast enough.

"In pain?" he said, teasing her. "What did you do to him?" He laughed quietly.

Liam fell into a slow rhythm. Eva's eyes were closed and for a worried moment he thought she was back in that memory.

"Eva," he whispered. "Are ye with me?"

She opened her eyes half-way. She pulled him to her and kissed him, her tongue finding his. Her hips shifted to accommodate him. "I vit you alvays," she said.

After the sex, they lay cozily together in the growing morning heat. Liam said, "I feel like it's not all together wrong to leave here. I'm glad ye're not angry with me."

~~~

An hour later, washed and dressed, Liam and Eva came to the kitchen. Eva felt that special, earthy bond they had after a round of sex, with no way to describe it in words. She saw that the girls were outside with young Arvid and Arne playing on the homemade swing. The back yard was hidden from the road with trees, a carriage house, and mature lilac bushes. Matti was at the table with a cup of coffee and an empty plate in front of him. Eva presumed he and his son had already milked the cows early that morning. Eva saw a twinkle in Matti's eye as Liam and Eva poured their cups of coffee. Liam covered his mouth as he yawned and blinked his puffy, tired eyes. Saimi placed a plate full of scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes in front of each of them. Liam dug in with alacrity.

"Liam, can you giff me strawberdy yam?" Eva asked.

Liam glanced at Eva as he gave her the jam, giving her a remember-a-few-minutes-ago look and shoveled in a fork-full of pancakes, not missing a beat.

"Here's the yam," he said through bites.

Matti said something in Finnish and the three Finns laughed heartily. Eva blushed with embarrassment.

Liam looked up and scanned the three amused faces. He chewed and swallowed his next fork-full of breakfast. "What?" he asked. "What did he say?"

Eva explained, feeling self-conscious. "He says men who keep their vife happy at night are verdy tired and hungry in mornink."

Liam stopped chewing and looked at Matti. He shrugged his shoulder as he gave him an I-guess-you're-right half smile, then resumed inhaling his breakfast.

Matti guffawed, got up, and slapped Liam lightly on the back. "You haff verdy happy vife. Eva has _punaiset posket_." Matti walked out in the direction of the barn.

Liam looked at Eva for a translation.

"I have red cheek," Eva translated, pointing to her face.

Liam rubbed her cheek with a soft finger and gave her a smile filled with affection.

~~~

After breakfast, before Liam went outside, he looked out the front windows to see if anyone was there. A short way down the road towards town, he saw two men with a removed wheel from a buckboard. _Look-outs,_ he said to himself. Feeling a wee bit better, he left Eva to help Saimi with the breakfast dishes and went outside through the kitchen door. He felt like he had gone through a battle yesterday; his shoulder and muscles stiff and sore from struggling to get away.

"Pappa!" Ellen called from the swing. She was holding Liisa in her lap as they were pushed by Arvid.

"Pa, Pa, Pa, Pa!" Liisa mimicked enthusiastically.

Liam gave them a big toothy smile. "Hello, darlin's. Make sure ye stay in back, all right?"

"We will," Ellen promised.

He knew she understood the seriousness of the situation.

He stood at the fence line of the paddock. The cows had long since been milked. They were now out to pasture grazing on the sweet summer grass. They'd be there until milking at five o'clock that evening. The day was already hot. The sky was a bright blue with a smattering of puffy fair-weather clouds. The air wasn't too humid but enough for Liam to feel his underarms start to prickle with perspiration after the light excursion.

He stood leaning against the fence on his forearms. Soon the regret that he'd gotten himself into this mess by joining McKay's syndicate bubbled over. _I guess ye weren't thinkin' straight, just wantin' to die. The drink ... well, there ye have it,_ he thought to himself. He didn't feel self-pity, he felt irritated and disappointed in those choices. He also knew very well he could not go back and change a thing. _I just may get to the west as I had originally planned with Dolly and Annie._ Liam watched as some robins flew overhead.

He began to walk the fence line away from the barn, past the fenced-in meadow where the cows were lazily grazing. He made sure he didn't go too far beyond the cover of the house and the wooded area along the road. A large maple tree stood in his path and he stopped under it, feeling respite from the sun. The cows were thinking along the same lines and started to move under the cooling canopy of leaves. One mostly black Holstein approached him. Liam hadn't been around any cows in his life in Belfast so she was a little intimidating with her horns and size. He was glad there was a fence. He then realized she was only being friendly and wanted a scratch on her forehead, which Liam was glad to oblige with a bit of caution.

"What's it like bein' a cow? I've never met one this close." He felt a little silly talking to a cow, but what the hell.

Just then, Eva joined him. He didn't feel so silly any more when Eva began to chat in Finnish with the cow while scratching her on her neck. The cow gave a half-moo.

"No wonder she wasn't answerin' me. She's Finnish," he said.

Eva smiled. "All cows speak many tongues."

"Do ye know how glad I am to see ye feelin' better?" he said, putting an arm around Eva's waist and kissing her cheek.

"I'm glad to feel bedder." Eva began to study Liam's scratches and bruises from his ordeal of getting away from his captors. She shivered. He gave her a concerned look.

"What was that?"

She cuddled into him. "Vhat ve gonna do?" She sounded worried.

"How does Montana sound to ye? The train from Duluth will take us straight out. It's a few days west of here."

"I don't know anytink," she said into his neck. "I never see it." She sighed deeply.

Liam didn't know what to say fearing Eva would balk at any move. He held her a little tighter. He didn't blame her for resisting a thoroughly unexpected move. She'd been dragged away from her family by an incident involving Victor, not her. And now, she had nothing to do with it, yet she had to pay. _Perhaps she's paying now_ , he thought. It made him feel guilty and angry.

"Christ, Eva," Liam said. He held her close and tight. "I'm sorry for all this mess. I love ye so much. I want ye to be happy, sweetheart."

"I am happy. I yust need you, dat's all, and my seeldren."

Whenever Liam held Eva he thought he would burst with joy. He wondered how he had been able to surround himself with so much love even in difficult times. He was grateful that he'd survived those years of self-flagellation, physical and emotional, after Dolly's death.

"Did ye ever notice the only thing predictable in life is that it changes all the time?" he asked.

"I tink you right," she said.

They stood for long minutes holding each other. Soon they were joined by the rest of their family. Arvid and Arne had gone. Ellen gently inserted herself in between them. Liisa came to her Pappa and held her arms up.

"Up! Pappa!" she said. It sounded the way Liam would have pronounced it, with his Northern Irish inflection.

"She's talkin' so much," he said, pleased with his baby. He lifted her up and kissed her.

"I tink sees gonna be early talker, like Ellen," Eva said. "I hear her say lil vords vhen Ellen say dem, in Eenliss and Finniss."

"Vhat were you two talkink about?" Ellen's English was becoming more grammatically correct but it still had a Finnish accent especially around her mother.

"Oh," Liam began to explain. "We're talkin' about Montana."

"Is it far? Vill ve be able to come back?"

"Not for a while," he said. "It is rather far but if we wanted to, we could take the train back here to visit."

Ellen took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Vell, I guess I von't be gettink married to Arvid Huttunen, den."

"Ye never know Ellen he may follow ye out there if he loves ye enough," Liam said. "But ye can't tell them where we're goin' right now. The bad men after me may get tipped off. It's the same with Katia and Miss Lehto. Understand?" Liam was serious.

"Yes, Pappa, you said that earlier. Remember Harvard, the big University in Boston?"

"You remembered well," he said wryly.

Just then, a 'Hallo' was heard from near the house. It was Saimi. She spoke quietly and seemed serious, not the jovial lady who had been joking with Matti and Liam earlier.

"Vatch-man come to house," she said. "He says somebody comink down road. You come inside."

"All right, inside we go," Liam said with urgency, yet coated in calm. Inside, his belly churned.

They hovered in the kitchen while Saimi watched from the open front door. Liam hated the feeling that he could possibly have to fight to protect his family.

"Liam, ve haff rifle if you need it in closet." Saimi pointed to a parlor door.

"Fine," Liam said. _I don't know how to shoot one. Isn't that grand?_ he thought.

Much to Liam's relief, the visitors turned out to be Annie and Ed in a borrowed carriage. They entered through the front door at Saimi's beckoning.

"Good mornin', love," Annie said to Liam. She seemed under as much stress as Liam and Eva were. She had dark circles under her eyes and looked as if she hadn't gotten much sleep either. She kissed Liam and then Eva. "Did ye sleep at all?" she asked Eva.

"Lil bit," Eva answered.

"Ye seem worn out," Annie said as she looked at both of them.

"I'll be fine. Ed, who's mindin' the store?"

"I've got a 'closed' sign hangin' for today."

"Come," Saimi said, "you eat breakfast. I haff pancakes."

Ed remarked that it would be a shame to pass up Finnish pancakes, and they followed Saimi into the kitchen. Eva and Liam joined them to talk about plans of their exodus. Time was not on their side.

"I'm willing to run the boarding house until it's sold," Annie said. They sat at the table while Saimi served their pancakes. She asked Saimi if she would be willing to help.

"Yes, I can, for few hours each day. I come on Saturday, too, to fire up _sauna_."

Liam added, "Ed, I'll need to go to the bank, take care of the finances, and have Mr. Greene start the sale of the boarding house right away. Eva, you'll have to sign papers for that. Let's do that straight away, then we'll go pack. I want the baby to stay here. Ellen can write a list so you can pack for her when I take her to see Katia and Miss Lehto."

"Have ye decided where ye're goin'?" Ed asked.

Liam glanced at Eva, and then looked around to see where the boys were. They had gone back out. "I think we've decided on Montana. Helena to be exact. I read in a medical journal that the hospitals out there are beggin' for good doctors. I can have Andersen wire the hospital administrators and write a letter of recommendation for me to carry, along with my credentials from medical school. A St. John's Hospital in Helena is looking for someone to start immediately."

"At least ye'll start a job when ye get there," Annie said.

Liam could see the relief in Annie but he also saw disappointment and anxiety. He reached for her hand and held it.

"The Sheriff will be at yer house to give you an update, Liam," Ed added.

"As soon as you two are done with yer breakfast, I'd like to get goin' on all this," Liam announced.

Eva spoke to Ellen about quickly writing a list of the most important things she would want to bring with her, as well as items for Liisa. Saimi gave her paper and pencil.

"Den ve pack second trunk to come lader," she said.

Ed informed Liam that he still had his guys on the look-out. "I've got 'em at the train station and all up and down Main Street, startin' right outside," he said. "I've got a detail that's willin' to travel some with yez. We'll finalize everythin' in the next couple of hours."

~~~

When they arrived at the boarding house, Liam called the Sheriff. He said they would meet him at his office to save him a trip out. Ed went to the attic with Liam to fetch the trunks, and Ellen, Annie, and Eva began packing. A short time later, Liam left with Ellen to say goodbye to Katia and Miss Lehto.

"When it comes time to say where we're goin', let me do the talkin', all right?" Liam told Ellen. "So ye're not doin' the lyin. I don't like doin' it, but it must be done."

~~~

By the time four o'clock rolled around, all errands were complete. The people that needed to be seen had been seen, finances were taken care of, and the boarding house was surreptitiously put up for sale. The hastily-packed trunks were taken to the station by two of Ed's associates. Eva packed three carpetbags for their train trip. Everyone except the banker was told that the Dadys were heading back east for a lucrative physician's position in Boston.

Dr. Andersen had wired St. John's Hospital administrators the day before. It was arranged that Liam would meet Drs. Johnson and O'Neill in approximately a week's time.

Saimi had supper ready upon their return to the Huttunen farm. Annie and Ed stayed for a last evening together. They would come back tomorrow to put Liam, Eva, and the girls on the two o'clock train to Duluth. The Dadys would stay overnight in a hotel, and then get on the morning's eight o'clock heading west on the Northern Pacific Rail Line. They talked as they ate. It was a somber atmosphere.

"When I bought your tickets at the train station, I asked the clerk how long it could take to get to Helena," Ed said. "It would be four days. The train stops at all the towns to off-load mail, supplies and goods, and they have to yield to freights. I booked first class. Ye'll have as comfortable accommodations as possible, and a wait staff. Ye can have seats in the day and beds at night."

"Dat make me feel bedder," Eva said. "I don't know how easy it gonna be ridink dat lonk. Vhen ve come from New York to Minnesota, it vas dat lonk. 'Course I vas not expect. Dis time Ellen help vit Liisa."

Every time there was a pause in the conversation the sadness came back within the make-shift-turned-permanent family. Liam saw the sadness the most in Annie's face. In the short time they had had together in Minnesota, they had created a cohesive, loving group.

"Hey, Ed," Liam suddenly said. "Perhaps you and Annie will make it out there to live. I know yer daughter's out there and isn't she expectin' your first grandchild?"

"Aye, Liam, she is. Annie and I would have to talk things through, surely."

"Ed, I'd leave in a heartbeat with ye," Annie said. "Ye don't have to convince me of anythin' where Liam is concerned. It does break my heart he's leavin' me again." She started to well up, but she seemed to fight it. "And I don't want to be long from him, if I can help it. The decision is yours in the end, though."

"All right, my darlin'. We'll talk. I'd be pullin' up stakes, meself. We'll talk tonight." Ed reached over to squeeze Annie's hand.

"Ed, if it's money, ye know—" Liam began.

"Ye know I couldn't accept that. I have me pride, and me own nest egg. Thanks, the same."

"I wouldn't want to tread on yer pride," Liam said with a tease and a smile. "Nonetheless, the offer remains open. I'll still take care of Annie whether ye like it or not."

"About that, I have no say," Ed replied. "I know better than to wedge meself between the two o' yez."

Annie looked in Liam's direction covertly. He winked at her in appreciation of her love for him throughout the years. Suddenly, Annie lost composure and began crying.

Liam went to her, pulled her to her feet, and held her in a strong embrace. "Don't cry, Annie," he said. "We won't be parted for long. I know somethin' will work so we can be with each other." Liam looked at Ed over Annie's shoulder with a please-think-it-over look. Ed seemed to understand.

~~~

Eva, always brought to tears when it came to the sweet relationship between her husband and Annie MacDonald, saw the non-verbal communication between Ed and Liam. She had a certain idea of what was said. She stood up and went to Annie and Liam, putting her arms around them. Annie let go of Liam and took Eva into her arms. Eva, already a mess emotionally, soon was blinking tears from her eyes.

"I luff you, Annie," Eva whispered, barely audible.

"I love you too, Eva. Take care of him, will ye?"

"I vill, for you," Eva said with conviction. Then she whispered, "But I tink ve see you soon, anyvay." They wiped the other's tears with their fingers, trying to smile.

At eight o'clock, Ed and Annie said goodnight. All were resigned to the swift departure of Liam and his family to parts unknown—at least to Sheridan McKay and his thugs.

### Chapter 4

Eva, still overly tired and anxious, woke Liam to make love before the girls got up. The morning was overcast which made it a little cooler but the air was still oppressively damp and heavy.

"You can wake me anytime for that, love. That was very nice." Liam pulled her close in spite of the heat. "It may be a few days 'til we're able to do that again," he whispered.

"You tink you stand it?" she whispered back.

"If I drag ye into the privy on the train and start yankin' yer skirt up, ye'll know."

They laughed silently.

Very early that morning, Matti had fired up the _sauna_ so the unenthusiastic travelers would start their trip fresh with clean children and clean outfits. The girls came into the _sauna_ with Eva and Liam so Eva could make sure they both washed well. She also wanted to help Ellen with hair washing. Ellen's sun-lightened reddish-blond hair had grown nearly to her waist, and it was difficult for her to wash alone. Liam tended to Liisa who played in a giant galvanized tub, a quarter full of tepid water. He washed her hair and her chubby baby body, deftly keeping the lavender shampoo from stinging her eyes.

~~~

After breakfast Eva had a few moments with Saimi. They spoke in Finnish.

"Saimi, I want to thank you for being so good to me especially in my early years here. You were a second mother to me. My gratitude will be unending." Eva hugged her tightly. "I'm so happy in my heart you found a family to take care of and a new man. I can see all the Huttunens love you, the young boys especially."

Saimi pulled back to look in Eva's face. "You, my dear girl, are very special to me. You, too, gave me a family when I needed one. So young you were, with a little girl to take care of. So much you went through at such a young age. And look at you now. You have a new family. How much you have grown. I am proud of you. I hope you write to me to let me know how everything turns out. I want to know about your baby in December."

There was no more to be said. Eva and Saimi kissed each other on the cheeks. Both had tears. Neither one could say goodbye.

~~~

A short while later under the leafy maple by the house, Saimi took Liam's hands and held them. She said, "I remember how you came to us. I vas verdy nervous but I could see you luff Eva right avay. Den I knew Eva need you vhen Victor die. Eva almost die, too, but you save her. You verdy special to me, like I tell Eva sees is."

Liam hugged her and kissed her cheek. "You saved my life, Saimi, when you let the men bring me into the boarding house that winter night. You didn't have to, I know. I was a stranger, a dirty, stinkin' drunk—a sick vagrant. I thank God for ye every day. I owe my life to you and Eva." He hugged her one more time. "Are ye comin' to the station, then?" he asked as he regained his composure.

"I don't tink so. Dat's vhy I vant to say somptink now. You are good man, Liam Dady."

"We'll write," he said. "We'll let ye know about the baby."

"I look for mail."

They walked companionably back to the kitchen door and inside.

Just at the last minute Ellen ran into the house with tears falling. She fell into Saimi's arms. "I love you. I will miss you," she said in proper Finnish.

Saimi responded in kind, closing her eyes as she received her last hug from the incomparable Ellen Mattson.

~~~

At last the time came for catching the two o'clock train. Annie and Ed came with Mack the cabbie to gather up the Dady family. The trunks had been left at the station the afternoon before and were ready for freight on the same train, designated for Helena, Montana.

At the station, Liam said a quick so-long to Dolly the horse. "Thanks, girl, for all the rides," he said. He patted her neck and she gave him the friendly nicker she always did.

Liam gave Mack a firm, friendly hand shake and an envelope. He spoke quietly, solely to Mack. "Don't open it until I'm gone, my friend. Ye didn't have to be my only cabbie, and I appreciate all ye did for me.

Mack tipped his hat and promised not to open the envelope as Liam had requested. He tucked it into his inside vest pocket. He would wait at the station for Annie and Ed to take them home.

Earlier that morning, Saimi had dug out extra diapers for Liisa at Matti's son's house next door. Liisa now had her own carpetbag full of clean diapers. Eva and Liam's first-class accommodations would give them their own wash room and toilet, which would make travel so much easier. Eva would be able to wash out clothing especially undergarments and diapers. Ellen had her own carpetbag. Liam and Eva shared one.

"Ellen, hug Grannie," Liam said. They all stood on the platform under the station's eave, in the shade. The overcast morning had made way for a blazing summer day.

Annie and Ellen squeezed each other. Annie kissed her on the head. "You take care of yer Pappa for me, aye? And yer Mamma."

Liam then handed Liisa to Annie. "Ooh, my wee selkie, I'll see ye soon," Annie said. She kissed Liisa's chubby cheeks over and over in rapid succession which made Liisa titter in delight, showing her shiny, white baby teeth. Liam took her back.

"It seems," Ed began, speaking to Liam and Eva as he pulled Annie's hand bringing her to him, "this girl here has made me rethink me life. We both have enough of a nest egg to be able to come out there with yez, perhaps by October when all is taken care of here."

"Ed, that's grand news," Liam said. "I won't be losin' my Annie fer long, only a couple months." Liam shook Ed's hand vigorously with gratitude. As he hugged Annie robustly she gave a toothy wide smile.

"Dat good news, Annie," Eva said. "Ve glad to haff you and Ed. You stay vit us, den find you place."

"We'll wire ye," Liam said quietly to Ed. "Remember our code words and pseudonyms, at least for a while."

"Ye'll have an escort and look-outs in Duluth," Ed said quietly. "I haven't heard anythin' up here in North Country. The Sheriff told me that Minneapolis officials said McKay went to Chicago. We'll keep our guard up anyway."

"Thanks, Ed." Liam reached in his pocket and handed Ed an envelope for the escorts' and guards' payments.

"I have men in Helena already for yer arrival," Ed added.

"Jesus, ye're efficient," Liam said in his best Irish brogue.

Ed gave Liam a wink and a handshake.

"All aboard!" the conductor yelled. The giant steam engine began its belching and huffing. Late boarders began to scramble for the passenger cars.

The mood had shifted with Ed and Annie's news so it was easier for everyone involved to say "So long," and not "Goodbye."

"Stay safe," Annie said to Liam in one last embrace.

"I just realized somethin'," Liam said. "Ye'll be present for the baby's birth and Ed's grandchild's too."

Annie's eyes lighted brightly. After one last hug, Liam boarded the chugging train, stoking up for the ride to Duluth. He was the last one to board of all the passengers.

~~~

Miles away from Virginia, Liam woke from a short nap. They were on the west side of the train, heading south. The window shade was down to keep the hot afternoon sun at bay. Liam turned his head to see Eva knitting on the bench opposite his. Next to her, Ellen had her nose in a book. Liam realized that Liisa was sleeping in the crook of his arm. He was happy they had their own private compartment. He was so comfortable and content on the cushioned bench; he lie motionless, head propped on a pillow. Eva looked up from her knitting and smiled sweetly at him. Liam found the rocking of the train soothing. Apparently so did Liisa. Her thumb was in her mouth. Beads of sweat dotted her nose. As he studied the riot of dark curls all over her head with wisps of it plastered to her temples with perspiration, he smiled. For a short moment he wondered if his mother ever looked at him like this. Probably not. But that didn't matter anymore.

There was a knock on the compartment door. Eva bid them to come in. It was the car attendant with refreshments.

"Tank you so mutts," Eva said with a delighted smile.

~~~

They arrived in Duluth close to five o'clock. Before they left the compartment, Liam cautiously peaked out through the crack in the pulled shade and scanned the station for nefarious characters—the kind McKay would have working for him. Liam knew if there had been a problem, the look-outs and escorts would have come to them.

There was a small hotel across the street from the station, built in the age of the vast expansion of the transcontinental railroad in the 1860's, 70's, and 80's, opulent in its style. Carpetbags in hand and children in tow, the Dadys walked across the quiet, summer-dusty street and booked a suite for the night.

Liam and Eva ordered a chicken and biscuit supper, left a wake-up call for six thirty the next morning, and then Liam took his family up the elevator to the second-floor suite. As they rode up, Liam scanned the cavernous, wood-carved, lobby one more time.

I'm goin' west. That won't stop McKay from tryin' for me. If his men see me they'll just kill me now and to hell with tryin' to take me to him. That didn't work the first time. He doesn't make the same mistake twice. It's not goin' to be over until either McKay or I am dead, preferably him.

Liam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Sheridan McKay could hold a grudge and would not stop looking for Liam as he and his boxing syndicate crisscrossed the country. He had too many people's blood on his hands and Liam didn't think McKay would give a damn if Liam's blood was on them as well.

As the elevator stopped at the second floor Ellen was fully enthralled. She let everyone off, shut and locked the gate of the birdcage-like contraption, and pressed the down button. After a few minutes she was back with a half sheepish, half pleased grin plastered on her face.

A man in the elevator who got on at the first floor smiled at Ellen. "Thank you, my dear," he said. He tipped his hat to Ellen, then to Eva and Liam and proceeded down the hallway to the second suite on the floor.

Liam unlocked the door to their suite. The family gave a collective gasp as they walked into the extravagantly decorated rooms.

"Too bad we'll be leaving so early," Liam lamented. "Enjoy it in yer sleep."

"How can we? We'll be sleepink," Ellen answered. "Why would you say such a ridiculous thing?"

Liam tried not to show his hilarity at the look he received from the often literal eleven-year-old.

Eva carried Liisa, who was awake but subdued and laid her down on the bed that her big sister would be sleeping in. She changed her diaper putting on a double one and a clean wool over-cover to catch any pee leaks in the night.

### Chapter 5

It was the second day into the four-day journey to Helena. The family had left Duluth the day before without Liam seeing any of McKay's men. He did see the look-outs Ed had in place and thanked Ed silently to himself. They passed the first day switching between reading, knitting, napping, and watching the flat expanse of prairie as the train rolled westward, that crossed into North Dakota. They spotted thunderstorms to the north and south of them. After a dinner of roast beef, the train moved directly into a storm. It was exciting yet unnerving, with fierce winds and lightning. Liisa cried from the lightning strikes on the ground and the booming thunder accompaniment. She found some solace in the arms of her Pappa, her face tucked into his sweaty neck.

"It was a gully washer," Elam the attendant said. He was checking in on his passengers after the train emerged on the west side of the storm, the ominous black clouds finally behind them.

It got to be too hot on the train with the temperatures on the prairie sometimes reaching close to one hundred degrees in August. The attendant opened the top windows in their compartment and the ones in the corridor.

"Best if you leave the door open," Elam said. "Air will flow more. Unfortunately, you'll get some of the ash and smoke from the engine. It can't be helped. I can bring you some ice-cold lemonade, or something stronger if you prefer."

"I like lemonade, please?" Eva said.

"Me, too," Ellen agreed.

Liam added, "Keep it comin'." He smiled. "Thanks."

After sitting for so long, Ellen and Liisa began to play in the narrow corridor. Liisa resorted to crawling. Due to the constant rocking on the tracks so she couldn't stay standing. She chased her felt ball on the cleaned carpet, having to move out of the way occasionally for passers-by. Not too many people were in first class and those who were, decided to spend their days riding in the dining car and lounge, with a bar and a poker game continually going. When the train stopped at a depot, they'd get out and walk.

~~~

Halfway through the next day, out in the middle of nowhere, the train came to a complete stop.

"Conductor says it's a mechanical problem," Elam the attendant reported. "They workin' on it now," he said. "Don't know how long, though. It could be an hour, could be half a day."

"At least we're in the shade," Liam said. "Thank you, Elam."

Liam regrettably spoke too soon. Sitting in the high plains of eastern Montana, in the direct sun of a cloudless sky was nearly unbearable for the sturdiest of people let alone a pregnant woman with two cranky children. He was sweat-soaked. Even Elam appeared to be silently suffering but he did his best to keep his passengers in water and lemonade. It was nearly evening when the train began to roll again. The wind was a welcome relief even though it was a ninety-degree wind. _Thank God for the night,_ Liam thought.

Sleeping was a welcome break from the monotony of the trip. During the daytime, Liam read newspapers they'd picked up in Duluth, Bismarck and every place in between, while Eva knitted or read one of her Finnish books she bought at the Finn Hall. She even had time to sleep one afternoon, the day before their arrival in Helena. Her back ached. Liam propped her lumbar with a pillow, which was a great help.

"All I can say is, I'm glad we didn't opt for San Francisco," Liam murmured. He was sitting opposite Eva and Ellen. Liisa had petered out again and was sleeping, splayed on her back next to her father.

"Urrgg," Ellen answered in an irritated growl. "How long are ve supposed to be on this God damn train?" She was at the end of her rope. She was frizzy, sweaty, puffy-eyed, and refused to do anything but complain.

Liam gave her sharp look for the language, but he saw a girl raised by Eva, who was in no mood for any kind of humor from him or any hapless soul who would come along. "As God damned long as it takes, Ellen," he said. He looked her directly in the eye. He was as humorless as she.

She matched his glare, but was the first to look away. She heaved a heavy, pissed-off sigh, and crossed her arms around her chest, glaring out the window at the sun-beaten high plains.

Someone knocked and Elam stuck his head in the door.

"Just two more hours, the Lord willin', and we'll be in Helena. Best get yourselves ready, good people."

"Thank you kindly, Elam," Liam said.

In her best histrionic display, Ellen crumpled to the floor in a heap, chanting, "Tank you, God," over and over.

"Goodness sake, young lady," Elam exclaimed. As he left the compartment, he looked ready to bust out in giggles.

Eva put a stop to it in short order. "Ellen!" she said quietly yet sharply. "You stop dis, now! Ve all hot and tired." She didn't drop a stitch in her knitting.

Liam rarely experienced Eva this irritated even a mild version like this and it was surprising. The first time he saw her in such a state was with Victor when Liam first arrived in Minnesota. The second time was Liam and Eva's fight in the snow. Nor would he ever forget the time Eva went to the tavern to furiously admonish Victor's extra-marital collaborators.

After Eva's reprimand, Ellen obeyed. Eva gave Liam a brief glance, apparently satisfied with Ellen's acquiescence. One corner of her mouth rose quickly.

Liam got up and went to the privy at the end of the corridor instead of the one in their compartment. He locked the door. He burst into giggles, the tears rolling down his cheeks.

Imitating Ellen, "God damned train—" he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. After a few minutes, he said out loud, "Christ, the girl has hubris. What a set o' steel balls she has." He took a hand towel from the neatly folded stack and wiped his face and blew his nose. He tossed the towel into the dirty towel basket on the floor. When he gathered himself again he opened the door. Much to his surprise, Ellen was standing there, looking up at him with a sweet smile. She hugged him around the waist. He hugged her back.

"Pappa?"

"Ellen?"

She looked up into his face, "Vhat are steel balls?"

~~~

After disembarking, Liam scanned the surroundings on the sun-bleached platform. Eva was by his side. Liisa was on her own feet with Eva's firm hand around her baby's.

"It sure looks different, here," Ellen said standing on the platform in Helena. The landscape in Helena was open, virtually void of trees, and it was not green. It was also extremely dry, not humid like in Minnesota. They walked into the train station. Liam went to the counter and arranged to have the trunks held until they had a place to have them delivered.

"The man at the counter said there's a very nice hotel down the street called Last Chance Gulch."

"Dat name of hotel?" Eva asked.

"No. Last Chance Gulch is the name of the street."

"Vhat gulstts?" Eva asked.

"A gulch is a valley. The name of the street came from the gold strike originally found in the gulch. The name stuck. It's the Hotel Helena. They'll deliver our trunks there."

~~~

The family headed to the hotel in a single-horse-drawn cab. The driver, who introduced himself as Jake Russell, looked to be in his fifties, maybe sixties, with a broad rimmed cowboy hat. He wore a faded red and white checked shirt and dungarees, and well-worn cowboy boots. His face was permanently sun-browned and leathery; his life outside in the elements was evident. He donned a double leather gun belt with two ivory-handled pistols.

"I didn't know the guns were allowed anymore," Liam said to Jake.

"Oh, well, it's not as common anymore, like fifty years ago, even twenty," Jake said. "But I transport rich people—mine owners, racehorse owners and their guests and family. They feel better knowin' I'm armed."

Jake looked around at Liam and smiled. A sun-bleached handle bar moustache hid his teeth.

"I get big tips from the big-wigs. There was just a huge crowd in town this past weekend for the annual horse races. Looks like you came at a time that you can get a decent room. There weren't any to be had a few days ago. Same happens when the bare-knuckle fist fightin's in town. That's been banned for two years, though. A guy by the name of Sheridan McKay, a real hard ass—oh, sorry, children and a lady present. He's a bad sort of ... well, he can't come back 'til next year."

Liam's stomach lurched and he felt lightheaded, but he managed to hold on to Liisa in his lap. "Has he been here before, say five or so years ago?" Liam asked because he suddenly sensed he himself had been here before. In those years with McKay, he never paid much attention to where he was at any given time. Places became nameless.

"Oh yeah, off and on fer years."

"Have ye seen any of his employees lately? You know, with leather vests."

"No," Jake said. "I do recollect 'em."

Liam noticed Jake had a curious look on his face but for whatever reason, the man didn't pursue clarification about Liam's last question. Liam appreciated that.

Liam looked at Eva whose face blanched ostensibly with anxiety. His eyes went to Ellen but she seemed too enthralled with the authentic-looking cowboy cabbie to notice what he'd said and whom he'd mentioned.

Jake pulled his horse and cab into the shade of the _port cochere_ of the hotel. While the Dadys climbed out, Liam paid the cabbie.

"Thanks, Jake. What's yer last name again in case I want an armed cabbie?" Liam asked.

"Russell. Jake Russell. Just ask the other cabbies." Jake tipped the visor of his cowboy hat. "Ma'am, Little Miss." He drove away with an affable smile.

Ellen stood under the _port cochere_ , blue eyes wide, her mouth frozen in a toothy grin. She stared at Jake Russell as he drove away. "Did you see his moustache? It vas huge." She laughed like a loon.

~~~

The suite of rooms had a full bathroom with a giant cast iron tub.

"I know vat I do right now," Eva announced after spying the tub. "I gonna take Liisa in vit me to vash her, too." She went to the carpetbag and retrieved her last clean outfit, with undergarments she had washed on the train and dried in the wash room. She also had a clean nightgown left. She went into Liisa's bag and got what was left to dress her in. Since it was nearly Liisa's bed time Eva decided she would just let her run in a diaper and save her outfit for tomorrow. Ellen was running out of clothes, too. The hotel would have laundry service.

Liam turned the tub faucets to run.

"Don't make it too hot, Liam," Eva said. "Nice and cool, please." She came into the bathroom and peeled off her damp, sticky clothes and dropped them where she stood. "Ugh, dat vas terdible ride. Too hot." She stepped into the tepid water.

"Huhh." She sighed with relief as she sat and stretched her legs, and then immersed the rest of her hot body in the cool water. She opened her eyes to see Liam gazing lustily at her full breasts.

"Wish I could join ye instead of Liisa. It's been five days." He smiled, looking at her longingly.

She smiled back. "Ve do somptink lader, at night." She, too, missed Liam. They were unable to make love on the train in such close quarters. "Can you brink Liisa in 'bout fifteen minutes. I luff some time 'lone."

"I'll do anythin' for ye, just don't kick me out o' bed tonight," he said quietly. He rubbed himself in a lewd manner, albeit good-heartedly.

"Liam Dady," Eva tried to scold him. "I am glad door is see-yut." She laughed and splashed him. " _Mene pois_!"

"Ye're tellin' me to go away?" he said with a pouty lower lip.

"Yes," she said with feigned indignation.

He stuck his tongue out at her and last second then kneeled to give her a passionate kiss. As he was closing the door, she looked over her shoulder and almost changed her mind but he was gone.

Eva immersed her whole body in the tub letting her sore joints and muscles float. She felt a bone in her lower back fit back into place with a slight pop. Her attention went beyond the closed door. She heard chatting, but not playing. She thought she heard Liam say the word nappie. _He must be getting Liisa ready to come into the bath,_ she thought _._ But after several quiet minutes, Liam came into the bathroom and began to undress as soon as he closed the door.

"Both girls are out cold on the Turkish carpet. I thought ..." He had his hands on his trouser buttons and a big grin on his face. Soon he was naked with his intention apparent. He stepped in the tub opposite Eva who was delighted at the turn of events. He had the same reaction Eva did when she entered the cool water. "Huhh," he sighed. "How are we goin' to do this?"

Eva said nothing. She climbed on top. Her knees straddled Liam's lap. He slid right in. He was slightly buoyant making it easy to move his hips up and down while she stayed still. With their lips touching in a prolonged kiss he thrust in and out moving the water in his rhythm. Eva held the back of his head so she could be lip-locked with him. Soon he was jerking uncontrollably underneath her trying to be as silent as possible. Eva soon followed. She, too, struggled to be silent. She heard him laugh breathlessly.

"Was it good for ye, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Oh, aye, it vas." She licked the water from his neck.

"So much for waitin' for later. I can't stand ye so near and not bein' able to have ye when I want especially when yer breasts are bare." He kissed them. "Thank God for children, but, thank God for separate bedrooms and door locks."

"And bik tub in hotel," Eva said. She went back to sitting. "Velcome to MON-tana, Liam." She said it as a Finn would say it, accent on the first syllable.

~~~

Liam ordered a supper of sirloin steak and potatoes with cherry pie and coffee for dessert, served in the suite. The girls enjoyed a cold glass of fresh milk.

Afterwards, Liam lounged on one end of the couch with his belly full and his clean bare feet up on a leather hassock. He made an itinerary for the next day on a sheet of hotel stationery. Eva, in a plush velvet club chair, sipped on a cup of coffee with copious amounts of cream and sugar that Liam had prepared for her with a bit of back and forth.

"I vant lotta cream and SOO-gar."

"Ye shouldn't have all that—"

"I vant lotta cream and SOO-gar," she'd said it again exactly like the first time.

"Fine," he'd muttered and eyeballed her. He'd gotten a bratty smile when he'd delivered the cup of coffee as per dictated.

"First thing I'll do tomorrow," Liam announced now sitting back on the sofa, reading from his itinerary, "is go to St. John's and see the administrator. Dr. Andersen has already wired him. Then I'll go to the bank with my fund transfer instructions and get that taken care of. Then we'll look for a house."

"Maybe doctors at hospital vill haff idea of house," Eva said.

"I'll ask. Good idea. Oh, and I already wired Ed and Annie from the front desk."

Eva was glad to hear that. "Ve can stay here. I still feel tired, even if ve did have nap after bat." She was referring to their little love bath and snooze afterwards, while Ellen and Liisa slept like rocks on the red Turkish rug until supper had arrived.

"It was a long haul on the train for all of us. I can see it in your eyes, Eva. Look how the girls are sleepy even when they've had a nap."

"I'm not tired," Ellen declared. "As a matter of fact I've decided to stay up half the night to finish _The Prince and the Pauper_. I love Mark Twain. Do you know his real name is Samuel Clemens?"

Liam and Eva glanced at each other.

"I wish ye well in your evening endeavor," Liam said.

"Thank you," she answered with her nose buried in the book.

Ellen, washed and in her night gown, was stretched out with a pillow behind her head, book in hand. She was "sharing" the sofa with Liam who had one third of it. Her growing legs took up most of the space. Liisa was nearly asleep, curled up on Eva's lap with her thumb in her mouth. The baby's belly was full of mashed potatoes, tiny bites of juicy steak, and a big cup of fresh milk on ice. She had her double diaper and wool panty on for bedtime.

Just after sundown, Liam took Liisa from Eva's lap and put her to bed in the wooden crib that had been provided and placed in Ellen's room.

"Should I wake Ellen just to walk her to bed? She may clock me with a right hook for wakin' her up," Liam speculated, pointing to Ellen, laughing silently at the open Mark Twain book resting on her face nearly covering it.

"I don't know," Eva said. "If you can lift her dat may be bedder." She smiled at the scene.

Liam picked Ellen up off the couch and placed her in her bed, tucking her in. He put her book next to her.

Eva and Liam quickly followed suit and soon were comfortable in their own bed, drowsy and near sleep. They were too tired to do anything. They spooned up with Liam behind Eva. He put one hand on her lower belly and kissed the back of her neck. Eva understood that he never forgot someone else was on the way.

~~~

At seven in the morning, Liam woke to a light tap on the suite door. It was the porter bringing Liam's freshly pressed gray summer suit and white dress shirt. His shoes came back freshly polished. Liam shaved and dressed quietly as Eva snored adorably sprawled out on the double bed now that he wasn't in it. He smiled at the beauty of it all. He wanted to make love but he could do that later. They had the rest of their lives to do that. Rather than risk waking her with a kiss he penned a quick note and put it on his pillow. For quite a while, Eva had been asking Ellen and Liam what different written English words were so her reading and spelling repertoire had been growing. She would be able to read the note he wrote.

Eva, my sweet—I'll be back by mid-day. Order anything for breakfast and lunch. I love you. Liam.

He checked on the girls. They were still asleep—the precocious strawberry blond and the dark curly-top. He left both bedroom doors open to the gathering area then left for his errands with the essential paperwork for job, banking, and house finding.

~~~

Liam exited the cab at the front entrance of St. John's Hospital. It was located in the section of town known as Catholic Hill. Looking around the environs he thought Ellen was right. It was starkly different than Minnesota North Country.

He felt the heat of the day coming on.

"Later in the day it may reach one hundred," the front desk clerk had said at the hotel before Liam left. But the clerk said it was a "dry heat," whatever that meant. Hot was hot. He'd find out soon enough.

As Liam walked through the double front doors the hospital smell of cleaning agents and the polished floors made him feel at home. A receptionist greeted him at a desk in the front lobby, a young, dark-haired woman with it pinned back in a tight bun. Her face was severe, but in an odd way she was attractive.

"How may I help you," she asked. She thrust her breasts forward. Her pupils dilated as she gazed at Liam from her reception table.

Liam felt uncomfortable. She seemed to be intensely attracted to him.

"I'm Dr. William Dady. Dr. Johnson is expecting me. My wife and daughters and I just arrived from Minnesota."

The spark completely faded from her green eyes as soon as Liam said "wife." Liam found this amusing. He tried to remain polite and business-like.

Behind the receptionist was a small operator apparatus for the hospital. She pulled a plug from the base and plugged it in where a label marked it as "Johnson." After she pushed a ringer button she put the telephone's ear piece to her ear and held the base to speak into the mouth piece.

"A Dr. Dady from Minnesota is here to see you." She paused a moment, then hung up the ear piece. "He said come right in. It's the third door on the right, down that way," she instructed.

"Thank you," Liam said, still business-like. _I hope she realizes I'm not one to trifle with. Eva would have a field day with her,_ he thought _._

He walked down the immaculate hospital's gray-tiled hall to the third door on the right. 'Dr. Wayne Johnson, Hospital Administrator' was painted in blocky, black lacquer on the window of the thick, wooden door. Liam knocked and heard a jovial, medium-pitched voice bidding him entry.

~~~

Wayne Johnson was a short, white-haired man most likely in his sixties. His skin was much paler than the sunbaked residents Liam had seen so far in Helena. Johnson's paleness must have been from decades in the shade of a hospital. He reminded Liam of one of Snow White's dwarfs from illustrations in Ellen's fairytale books. They shook hands.

"Have a seat, Dr. Dady. William, is it?"

"That's my proper name. I go by Liam."

"How was your trip out here?" Johnson asked as they both took chairs. A giant, file-strewn desk separated them.

"It was long and hot with two girls one eleven and one eighteen months, and my wife with child."

"These high plains can get quite warm this time of year. The trick is to stay indoors until sundown in the summer," Dr. Johnson said humorously.

The conversation and interview went exceeding well, with Liam to start in one week.

"Would you know of any available housing nearby?" Liam asked.

"An elderly gentleman living in a very nice house at the end of the street passed away just recently. He was a long-time mine administrator with a lot of money. He left it with furniture and everything. If you go to Old Union Bank, they should know about it."

"Brilliant," Liam said. He felt relieved.

"It's the big house to your right as you leave through the front door, facing the street's end. I do believe it was built in the early eighties. I hear it's quite the place."

"Thanks, I'll have a look at it," Liam answered. He stood with Dr. Johnson and shook his hand.

Just as Liam was about to leave, another doctor—a very Irish looking man—entered. "It's all over the hospital that ye're here," he said with a strong Northern Irish lilt. "So I came to meet ye. My name's Sean O'Neill." He put out a friendly hand to Liam. He was Liam's age or thereabouts, tall and lean with a mish-mosh of curly chestnut hair and a smattering of freckles. His smile was charming. "I hale from Derry, then New York City," he said.

Liam knew he meant Londonderry. Only the Protestants and Brits called the city that.

"I'm Liam Dady. Pleased to meet ye." Liam extended his hand. "Belfast, then Minnesota."

Sean asked, "Protestant or Catholic?"

"Both," Liam answered. He got a bemused, amused look from Sean O'Neill. "I'll explain later."

~~~

Liam returned to the hotel in the late morning. Not surprisingly, everyone was still asleep. He shut the girls' door and went into the other bedroom where Eva was. He closed the door and turned the key in the lock. She, too, was still asleep, only in a very provocative pose. She was on her belly with one knee up, hugging her pillow, her buttocks completely bare and her nightgown bunched up at her waist. Her hair was completely down with wavy, light red-gold trusses lying along her back and half-covering her rosy cheeks. The room was gaining in heat from the Montana morning sun.

"Holy God, Eva, yer arse is so white and ..." He spoke under his breath. He didn't know what word to use.

He took off his suit and good shirt and hung them in the open trunk. He sat on the edge of the bed. Eva stirred. And he was glad because she came right to him smiling.

"I vanna be on bottom," she whispered.

"I was in the mood to be on top," he whispered into her neck. "Spread yer legs, darlin'."

"Uhh ... uhh ..." she breathed with every thrust. " _Vittu_ ..." she whimpered.

"... that word ... I know what ye're sayin'... Jesus ..."

~~~

"That word makes me crazy," Liam said as they dozed after making love.

"Victor tell me Eenliss vord long time ago. 'Fuck' he says. It make me crazy too."

"It's our little secret." He pulled her close, feeling his love in his chest for her.

They heard Ellen and Liisa awake. They would want Mamma very shortly.

In fifteen minutes Eva and Liam were washed, dressed, and ready to talk about all that had gone on that morning. A brunch tray arrived with eggs, toast, and jam that they scarfed while Liam told them of his morning.

"I'll start in a week," he said. "And I think I found a house for us right up the road from the hospital. It's at the end of the street with a possibility of purchasing extra land, since there are no more houses past it. It's quite open. I took a quick look on the outside, but I want all of us to go and see. The banker said he'd meet us there at one o'clock."

"Ve don't haff tinks to put in it," Eva said. "Vhat 'bout beds and sofa and chairs?"

"It could have everything we could possibly need and quite a lot more."

Eva and Ellen seemed skeptical, but willing to see.

"Don't be too hasty to say ye're not sure," Liam said. "Wait until ye see it."

~~~

Eva still felt the exhaustion of the long, hot days on the train but she was looking forward to seeing this house. She hoped it was going to be suitable and easy to move into. With a small diaper bag in her hand for Liisa she was ready to accompany the rest of her family to see what Liam had found. At twelve forty-five, Liam came from the lobby and announced the cab was ready. They took a short ride past the hospital where Liam would be working and drove to the house about an eighth of a mile away. On the left Liam pointed out some children playing in a yard. She watched Ellen gaze at them with curiosity.

The house at the end of the street was painted several shades of sage green with burgundy trim. It was about the same age as the boarding house in Minnesota but bigger and more opulent. The banker hadn't made his way there yet, so the new arrivals walked around the outside. In the back of the house there was a second-floor porch above the one on the first floor. The front porch, wide and deep, had been tastefully decorated with white wicker furniture and potted plants. They could tell someone with a good deal of money had lived there.

"This porch would be nice in the afternoon, Eva. It faces east and would be in complete shade in the afternoon."

Eva knew Liam already liked the house and said it would be perfect, that he could walk to work. But he said that she would have to like it, too.

Eva smiled at him, impressed with the porch. While she tried out a cushioned wicker rocker, the banker arrived. He and Liam talked.

"Mr. Jones has a key," Liam said. "Would ye like to go in, Eva?" Ellen and Liisa had discovered a double swing at the far end of the porch.

"Of course," Eva said. She stood up from her comfortable chair.

"I'm ready," Ellen remarked. She stood from the swing and took Liisa's hand.

After the two men shook hands, Liam introduced Eva and their children. As they entered the house, Mr. Jones told them that it had been built in the early 1880's. It had city water and sewer along with a coal burning boiler with hot water radiators to heat the house in the cold months.

"This painted lady has a modern kitchen, Mrs. Dady. Mr. Thomas had a housekeeper who I think is anxious to speak with you. I believe she would still like to keep that position. If you decide to purchase, I will send her to see you."

"I think that would be a grand idea," Liam said. "What do you think, Eva?"

Eva did not answer Liam as she walked into the large foyer through the dark-stained oak front door. The door was filled with a large single piece of beveled glass. She moved into the large front parlor through the sliding oak pocket doors. The room had rich wall-to-wall floral carpeting, dark green velvet upholstered furniture, and mahogany side tables. A game table for four sat in the inside wall in the corner. Throughout the house were huge double hung windows with stained glass transoms in a colorful rectangular patchwork pattern. The exterior wall had a mammoth white marble fireplace with shiny, metal andirons in the shape of elk heads. Eva gave Liam a wide-eyed glance.

Through the second set of double sliding pocket doors behind the parlor was the dining room. A giant walnut table seating ten sat empty. There were built-in windowed cabinets and drawers on the interior wall, filled with, what Eva could see, several sets of ceramic dinnerware, stemware, candelabras, and drawers of silverware, tablecloths and napkins. Eva opened the drawers to look. This room, too, had a marble fireplace, but its focal point was a large crystal chandelier centered over the table. Eva pushed the light switch illuminating the room brightly. She was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, with all its modern conveniences, according to Mr. Jones. Of course, their kitchen in Minnesota had been quite modern, so except for more square feet, fresh paint and bright, white cupboards, this was about the same. The kitchen had a large, solid work table sitting in the middle of the floor with chairs around it.

A back door led to another porch surrounded by dark green canvas awnings to shade it from the western sun. It led down four steps to a dirt-covered back yard with an old outhouse, clothes lines, and a small storage shed. There was a cold pantry to the right of the back door and laundry and utility room to the left. Eva went into the room on the left. Liam followed her. Ellen and Liisa were entertaining Mr. Jones in the large, light filled foyer.

"What do ye think, darlin?" Liam asked. He was unable to hide his enthusiasm.

"It verdy nice, Liam. It lotta money?"

"We have the money with the inheritance, way more than enough, actually." Liam snuck a gentle squeeze around her waist and a peck on her neck. "Money is not a factor. I want you to be happy. I like the place and if we want, we can opt to buy more land with it. But, sweetheart, it's yer final decision."

Eva saw him smile at her excitement. At first she held her feelings at bay but now she was letting her excitement show.

"Let's go upstairs, but not until ye see the library. It's full of books."

As Liam started to leave the back room, Eva held back and grasped his arm.

"Liam. Vhat 'bout McKay?"

"I've been thinkin'. I can't keep runnin'. We have a year to think what we're gonna do. I'm not happy, but in a short while Ed and Annie will be here and we can figure somethin' out."

"All right. I am not happy eidder, but I don't vanna run more."

Eva and Liam gazed at each other in cautious agreement.

"Let's go see the library, then," he said.

The library was lined floor to ceiling with shelves and shelves of books. There was an oak roll-top desk and a matching chair with wheels on the back wall between two windows overlooking the back porch. This room, too, had a fireplace, but not as massive as the other two. A colossal, dark red leather sofa in front of the fireplace was perfect for stretching out to read.

"Ellen gonna luff dis room."

"I was thinking that the desk can be mostly yours and mine," Liam suggested. "And Ellen can have a desk in her room for homework."

"I like lil desk in kitsen," Eva said. "I like my loom in dat back room, too."

"That's fine."

From the foyer Eva and Liam ascended an opulent stairway with carved balusters. At the landing there was a window seat. The stairs led to a wide hall upstairs with four bedrooms and a full bathroom built over the laundry addition off the kitchen. There was a door at the end of the hall that opened to the second story porch. It, too, faced westward. The bedrooms were all fully furnished with the same high-quality furniture. The master bedroom had a stunning carved mahogany bed and matching furniture with a plush club chair and an upholstered rocker. There was also a small marble fireplace. In addition, there were radiators so that the fireplaces were a luxury, not a necessity. There was a different print of wall-to-wall carpeting in the master room and a private door to the bathroom. The girls would use the door in the hall.

"Deese rooms so nice, Liam," Eva cooed. "Girls need to come see."

She called them and Ellen headed upstairs with Liisa.

Eva fell in love with the house, so different from the house in Minnesota, which was nice but plain compared to this. And it was vastly different from her beloved farmhouse in Finland. As she stood alone looking out the shoulder height bathroom window into the back yard she became melancholy thinking about her family and her youth, pining for them. She felt the distance from Finland more intensely now that she was in Montana. Eva could hear Liam in the bedroom across the hall with Ellen and Liisa, and this brought her back to the moment. She shifted to happy, spur-of-the-moment planning. _There would be room for a sauna in the back yard. Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could find Finnish people to build it?_

Before the bank manager left, it was settled that the Dadys would purchase the house, including an extra hundred acres.

"Come tomorrow morning at ten and we'll sign the papers and transfer the deed to you, Dr. Dady. As a matter of fact, you can all stay here instead of the hotel."

Ellen, who had already decided on the back bedroom on the opposite side of the hall from the master bed room, was ecstatic. The back windows looked out to the second story porch.

"No more hotel?" Ellen said. "Ve can live here, now?" She jumped for joy. Liam put a gentle hand on her to try to urge her to be polite, but Mr. Jones paid no heed to Ellen's exuberance.

"Do ye have children of yer own, Mr. Jones?" Liam asked.

"Oh, do I ever," said the middle-aged banker. "And three grandchildren on top."

Liam smiled at the affable Mr. Jones, who handed him the keys. The family stood on the front porch and watched as the banker departed in his cab. Liam turned to Eva and the girls with a big smile on his face.

"Can ye believe it?" he said. "It's as though the house was waitin' for us to get here."

In a state of euphoria Liam, followed by his family, walked back into the house and stood in the foyer. Liam looked at Eva and smiled.

"The telephone works," he announced as he lifted the receiver. He called the operator and asked for the cab company. "I think I'll go wire Ed on the thing we were talking about before, and what we can do now that we're here."

"Dat's good," Eva said. She looked around for the girls and heard them upstairs.

"You can relax in the parlor," Liam said, "and I'll call for our bags and trunks to be packed and sent over. Make me a list and I'll call to get some food from the grocer and butcher and we can have our first supper at our new home. Do ye like that idea?"

"I like it, but I not gonna sit. I vant to look 'round house." Eva said. She seemed happy to be in a home so soon.

"I love it!" Ellen said.

Liisa took off running, squealing in her aimless toddler manner. Her curls bounced as her big sister followed close behind.

"She smells like _paskaa_!" Ellen unabashedly announced.

"It vill be Christenink new house," Eva said wryly. She looked on the floor for the diaper bag and a place to change Liisa. "I go upstairs to bedroom," she decided.

Ellen followed, seemingly eager to explore further. "Can I go up to the attic?"

"Yust be careful."

~~~

Liam was satisfied with finding such a gem of a house but paramount on his mind was getting hold of Ed Murphy. He wanted to find that same safety support in Helena that he'd had in Minnesota. Liam knew McKay was not going to show up that day and probably not for many months. But he also hadn't expected to see the McKay associate in Duluth either. _And look how that turned out,_ Liam thought. He called to have the items delivered from Eva's grocery and meat list. After that he went to the train station to wire Ed.

~~~

Around four o'clock the doorbell rang. Liam, who was reading the latest edition of the local newspaper in the parlor, was about to yell at Ellen since she had been ringing it throughout the day. He all but wadded up the newspaper in irritation to look around the room. He found her sitting on the parlor carpet with some books she had found in the library.

"It wasn't me this time," she crowed. She ran to the door and opened it. Liam followed her.

"Hello, my name is Sally," said the lady with Finnish-inflected English at the door. She pronounced it SAL-loo, with the accent on the first syllable. Liam recognized the accent right away.

Ellen, with a big grin, spoke to her in Finnish making Sally smile in delight.

Eva came from the kitchen. She spoke in her native tongue to Sally and shook her hand.

"I was very happy to hear from Mr. Yones the new lady of the house was Finnish," Sally said. "Your husband is Irish?"

Liam smiled at her. He noticed that her face was angular and rosy cheeked like so many of the Finns in Minnesota. "I'm Liam Dady, Mrs.—"

"I am Sally Pelto. I vas housekeeper for many years here, den, man get sick, and yust die two mont ago."

"We're looking for a housekeeper," Liam said. "My wife is expecting again and the house is quite big for her to handle everything herself ... although she is quite capable." He added that last bit, noticing Eva eyeballing him.

Eva rolled her eyes and spoke to Sally in Finnish.

Sally responded to Eva in their language and gave her a pat on her arm. In English she said, "I came to ask if you need vone."

"Come have _kahvi_ ," Eva said in friendly invitation. "I yust put some on stove." She escorted Sally to the kitchen as Liam followed. "Dis house look boo-tiful," Eva said in English as they walked to the kitchen.

"Tank you, Mrs. Dady."

"Call me Eva, please."

Sally, instead of sitting, went to the cupboard where the coffee cups were kept and retrieved three cups and saucers. "Oh, I am sordy," she said. She chuckled at herself. "I am so used to doink dis."

"If you still vant yob, ve can haff you. Ve don't haff to teach you anytink. You vill teets us." Eva chuckled with Mrs. Pelto.

"I vould still like to vork here. I don't liff far vit my husband. I can stay if you like, but he like me to be home at night. He vas hurt in vork accident, liddle bit, few years ago."

"I tink dat vould be fine," Eva said. "Come to cook breakfast, do house vork, cook enough dinner to haff left-ofers for supper and go at four o'clock."

Eva poured coffee, got the sugar and cream. The three sat at the kitchen table. Liam asked if her pay had been adequate.

"He pay me good."

Sally told him what her salary had been and Liam added five percent per month, much to Sally's satisfaction.

"We can add a Christmas bonus as well," he said, offering Sally the cream and sugar first. "And there are children in this household now, which would add a bit to your daily duties."

Liam smiled at Ellen who had Liisa in a wrestling hold as they walked into the kitchen. Liisa apparently did not want to accompany Ellen at that particular moment.

"Dey are beautiful children," Sally said with a grin. "Look at dis lil girl with dark curls." Then she nodded at Ellen. "You are such a good helper, too."

Ellen smiled at her still trying to corral her little sister. Liisa, who clearly didn't want to be there, started to scream her objections.

"Liisa," Eva said with a slight sharpness in her tone. " _Tulevat_ Mamma."

Liisa, knowing where the safety really was, went to her Mamma. After Eva picked her up, Liisa laid her head on Eva's shoulder and stuck her thumb in her mouth. She held a bashful eye on Sally Pelto through her black locks. As Sally chatted with Liam and Eva, Liisa looked away when Sally smiled at her but kept up the peek-a-boo game, smiling cautiously when Sally noticed her.

"I am from Helsinki," Sally said. "I came vit my husband, Alpo, vhen ve vere yust married. Our two boys vere born here, in America. Ve liff Hibbing, Minnesota, for many years. Alpo vork as lumber-yack then little vhile at mines dat side Mesabi vhen it open."

"My first husband and I are from farm near Rauma," Eva said. "Ve come vhen Ellen vas close to tree years to Virginia, not far from Hibbink. Hees die two years 'go, and I marry Liam." She smiled at him. "He is verdy lonk stordy. You are vonderink vhy I have Irish husband."

"I don't care vhat anybody husband or vife is lonk as everybody happy." Sally smiled. "Everytink get mixed up in America anyvay." She gave a chuckle.

It was agreed that Sally would start bright and early the next day and have Saturdays and Sundays off and, of course, holidays.

"Tank you so much," Sally said. "I am so happy I come back." She left beaming.

After closing the door, Liam and Eva stood for a few moments in each other's arms.

"Everythin's comin' easy to us here, don't ye think?" Liam said.

"Yes. It 'post to be, den, I tink. I vant to kiss you," she said, nibbling on his neck. She whispered, "I alvays vant you. Sometimes I can't vait for bed at night. I feel like younk girl vit you."

"Ummm," he answered, kissing her like she wanted him to. "The feeling's mutual."

"Dat mean you vant me all a time?"

"Yes, it does." He pressed his hips into hers to demonstrate that it didn't take long for him to want her. "See how?"

"I haff to fix supper, but vait 'til lader." She pressed into him. He felt the small swell of her baby belly making him fall in love with her for the hundredth time that day.

They walked contentedly to the kitchen hearing the girls upstairs. Liam called up. "Ellen, make sure Liisa stays away from the stairs, please."

"Fine. I'll close the door," Ellen yelled.

Liam heard the bedroom door slam. He would have to create some sort of gate at the top and bottom of the stairs so Liisa wouldn't have to be watched constantly. At the boarding house, dining room chairs were used as a barricade but that would not suffice here. That would be the first thing he would do in their new home. For Liam, stairs were the crushing, sickening reminder of loss.

### Chapter 6

The first night in their new home was magical for Eva. She hadn't realized how much she'd needed to leave Minnesota. Her senses were heightened once they got in bed. They had the windows open. She smelled the air of Montana that seemed much different than the upper mid-west. Crickets and other night bugs that Eva had never heard back east sang sweetly. She lay snuggled in the crook of Liam's arm and chest. His fingers played with the wisps of hair around her ear. His touch started her arousal. Her fingers traced softly around his belly button. She was sharply aware of his maleness. His dark belly hairs were soft under her fingertips. It seemed as if she and Liam were the only ones awake in the whole city sharing a new intimacy in an unfamiliar house that felt strangely comfortable.

"Maybe I need to get 'vay from Minnesota, too," Eva said. "It vas hard to say goodbye. But it vas good tink I can say goodbye to Victor. And Eino, too." She paused for a moment. "You understand?" She leaned into Liam's neck and began kissing the warmness behind his ear. He tasted salty and smelled good. It was Liam's scent that made Eva want him whenever she breathed it in.

"Oh, aye," he said, pulling her closer. "I was attached to the place, too. It's where my life turned for the better and I met you. I was afraid to leave," he admitted.

"I tink, if Victor stayed 'live, would I stay vit him, or go to you? If I know you stayed."

"Why do ye think I didn't leave town after he insisted I leave the boardin' house?"

"I tink I never see you 'gain."

Liam smiled and shifted to his side to look at Eva, pulling her close. "Aye, I was hidin' from McKay, but the real reason I stayed in Virginia was to be there for ye when ye couldn't take the marriage any longer. You were on the brink when I first came."

"You know dat vould happen?"

"I didn't know for sure but I felt strongly about stayin'. Even through my sickness I could see it."

"I am SOO-prised. I cry vhen you left."

"I saw ye." He kissed her.

She touched his face softly.

His desire for her came on strong. His free hand began to undo her braid. It was light enough to see by the rising moon. "I like yer hair flowin', like I'm makin' love to somethin' exotic and wild."

She sighed into his chest as he unwound her long tresses. Her hair was filled with a scent that reminded him of sweet grassy fresh air. The fragrance was mixed with soap from washing earlier, the foods she cooked, Liisa, and now sex. It was intensely carnal and at the same time innocent and sweet. His hand cupped her face and head. His fingers wound in her hair as he kissed her. He felt his foreplay overpower her. She opened to him. She started to lie on her back but he pulled her to straddle him, exposing her fully. He could see her in the light of the full moon. Her skin glowed blue gray, making the occasion seem ethereal, as though it would disappear at any moment. His urgency rose to a peak. She moaned as his finger slid on her most sensitive spot. When his erection was inside her, he bolstered her torso so her body was erect and she didn't fall into him and hide herself. He wanted to watch. Her hips gyrated. He started to breathe deeper. His heart began to pound. As she ground into him, her swollen belly and her movement were all an aphrodisiac.

Her breasts wobbled as she moved for him. She knew what he wanted and how it affected him. She wanted to give to him what he desired, for he would always return it.

She could feel herself moving toward her climax. She knew he would come inside her again and how that always brought her over the precipice and into exquisite release. It came quite strongly. She bucked and panted to every pulse she felt. She felt him start his own release. "Eva. Oh, God. Oh, God ..." He lost his breath and growled and thrashed erratically, grinding his hips into her.

He finally let her fall to his chest. She rolled to her side, facing him. He seemed so ... done in. She smiled and pulled the cool cotton sheet over him so he could fall asleep. She leaned to him and kissed his mouth. She laughed silently as he tried to reach for her face and mumble something in response. As he drifted off, she gazed at his smiling, strikingly handsome face and mussed dark mass of hair in the moonlight. Happy, she spooned into him. She thought of the revelation of a few minutes ago that he somehow knew her marriage would fail and that he was going to be there for her. It stunned her. _Then he came to me to bring me back to life when I didn't want to live._ She cried. She knew he would know why. He pulled her closer.

~~~

The next morning, the very first morning in their home in Helena, Eva and Sally cleaned breakfast dishes and cookware. Liam was still asleep and deservedly so, Eva thought. She saved a plate full of eggs and _plattu_ for when he finally got up. She was glad he gave himself a few days before starting the rigors of long, unpredictable hours of hospital work and house calls. She knew the kidnapping had been hard on him even though he didn't show just how much. His shoulder was nearly back to normal and his bruises, scratches, and scrapes were beginning to fade. The whole ordeal had been hard on her, too. She had almost lost him and she didn't know how she would've survived. If she had learned anything from losing Victor, however, it was that she could survive.

"I like to build _sauna_ now," Eva said to Sally. "I need to find somebody who know how to build, vit cedar loks and fancy ..." She didn't know the word "dovetail joints" in English. "... _sovittaa liitokset_."

"I know vhat you mean, how to connect loks at corner."

"Yes, I ask Liam vhat Eenliss vord lader."

"I know people who vould be glad to help you. My husband and my sons, Alpo and Kari, are all carpenters.

"Dey vould? Dat's grand." Eva said

"I talk tonight. You order cedar loks. It can be done by fall, maybe sooner."

Eva was ecstatic at the prospect of having her _sauna_ and laundry room built. "I make a picture of how I like it, vit laundry and portts, like in Virginia." She gave Sally a worried look. "I ask too much?"

"I don't tink so, as lonk as dere is plan and lumber." Sally seemed confident. "It vould take mutts veekends, but it can be done. You need vindows and floorink and cinderblock for foundation, don't forget. And glass and screenink."

Eva ran to get a piece of paper from a kitchen drawer she had discovered earlier. It held pencils, pens, ink, and paper. She wrote everything down as Sally dictated.

"You gonna need nails, and studs for flooring and roof," Sally said. "And shingles for roof. Order your stove now. I haff address in Michigan. Cinderblocks for chimney. You vanna paint it? Den put it on list." Sally finished up the pans and put them away.

"I like to paint red like Old Country," Eva said.

"I tell you vhat, give me drawink by end of day and Alpo can make measurement and write up list. Den you can take to Svenson at lumber mill. Go to hardware on Main Street vit address, order stove from Leo Nippa in Michigan."

Liam walked into the white-bright kitchen. He had bathed. His hair was wet and combed back, his face clean-shaven. He leaned down to kiss Eva on the cheek.

"Good morning, Mrs. Pelto," Liam said, making eye contact with a smile.

"Good mornink, Dr. Dady." Sally returned the smile. She got up and fetched Liam's plate from the stove as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the pot on the table. He sat next to Eva. He sweetly pulled his chair close so he could sit right next to her, smiling intimately at her.

"Thank you, for last night," he whispered. He picked up and sniffed the bowl of preserves. "Raspberry," he discerned. "Ummm."

Eva's cheeks felt the heat as she remembered what he was thanking her for. She could only smile as Sally put the remaining washed dishes away in the cupboard.

"I go upstairs to clean," Sally said. "Girls are 'vake?" She started out of the kitchen.

"Yes, they are," Liam said. "Please send them our way, Sally. They need breakfast." He turned back to Eva. "What do ye have there?" he asked, noticing her drawing and list as he started his breakfast.

"I haff somebody to build _sauna_ for me. It is drawink of vhat I vant and list of tinks need to build. Sally says her husbandt and boys can do it. Vhat you tink how bik vas _sauna_ vit portts in Minnesota?"

"I think it was about twelve feet by twenty? Give or take a foot or two."

"What's dose numbers? You write dat." Eva gave him the pencil to write the numbers on the drawing.

"You know how to write the numbers," he said, feigning scolding.

"I vant dem no mistake," she insisted. "Alpo can finiss list. I can order from lumber company. I haff to order stove from Michigan."

"I think it's grand ye want to build yer _sauna_. I've learned to enjoy it. Add to the list to call the city to get a water line from the main in the street to the new building. Let's go together when ye get the materials list from Alpo. I'm not sure of the safety of the business district yet. I don't know if you would be able to go alone."

"I gonna be fine," she started with a defensive tone, but was hushed by a certain look from him that indicated he was not letting her go alone under any circumstances whatsoever.

"I'll go with ye the first few times." He changed the subject quickly. "I didn't tell ye as yet, but a doctor at the hospital is from Ireland, not far from Belfast."

"Close to you old home, how good," she said.

Liam nodded in agreement. "This Sean O'Neill and I didn't have time to talk, but I'm sure we will as time goes on. He and his family live on the other end of this street." He put the last forks full of breakfast in his mouth, savoring the last sweet bits and drinking the rest of his coffee.

Eva watched him, amused as always with his breakfast ritual. She thought it funny when he looked at his empty plate, then to the stove, then to her.

Just then, Ellen and Liisa appeared. Ellen helped Liisa into a chair. "We need a highchair for her, Mamma," Ellen announced.

"Sordy, no more _plattu_ for you, Liam," Eva said definitively. "Rest are for girls, but I can make more ekks if you like."

"It's just that I'm starvin'," Liam replied with an overly marked lamentation. "I need to have sustenance from the rigors of ..." He began to snicker.

He got a punch on his arm.

"Ow! Ye brute." He rubbed the spot.

As she got up to get the girls their plates, Eva leaned in to kiss him. "You like scramble or fry?" she asked him.

"Whatever way is easiest—and fastest." He grabbed at her skirt, pulled her back, and playfully put her on his lap.

"Fry. You vant me cook, or not?"

He grinned and let her go, obviously not wanting to delay the cooking of more food for his hungry belly.

Eva pulled out the fry pan, put it on the stove, and got the butter and four eggs from the carton in the electric ice box.

"You two are at it again," Ellen said.

Liam gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, Ellen."

"I heard you last night, too. I don't know what's so great about that."

Eva blushed furiously. "Ellen ..." she tried to admonish her blunt daughter.

Liam interrupted her. "I have to go to the bank and take care of transferring ours and Ellen's funds from Virginia and finish the mortgage paperwork. Then I have to get material for the two gates for the stairs. I'll take measurements before I leave."

"Fine," Eva said, flipping the eggs.

"Ellen," Liam said. "Since we're so honest with each other now, what yer mother and I do is grand. You'll find out for yerself one day. I hope it's not sooner but later."

Ellen rolled her eyes and avoided eye contact.

As Liam's freshly fried eggs arrived steaming on the plate, he expressed wide-eyed pleasure. Eva sat down with him again, keenly aware of her daughter's prying eyes.

~~~

Liam returned from his errands much later than he'd expected, but happy that he came back with two ready-to-install stair gates made by an employee at the lumber mill. The employee, by the name of Jim, even accompanied Liam to install them, Liam having offered the man an extra twenty if he would do so. It was well worth the completion for Liisa's sake. The gates would have to be there as long as he and Eva had young ones.

Eva relaxed on the front porch, her feet rested on a padded wicker hassock, when Liam and Jim arrived. She seemed impressed that the two gates were ready to be installed and smiled delightedly mostly at Liam. There were introductions and an immediate start of the installation.

When the gates were finished, a glass of lemonade was in order as was a few minutes of relaxation in the afternoon shade of the front porch.

"You could use another gate here on the porch if ye want your little one to come out here with you," Jim said. "I can make you another if you wish, Dr. Dady."

"Measure it out then," Liam said. "There's a back porch. Let's gate that one, too."

When Jim left Liam sat down with Eva in the shade of the front porch.

"You feel bedder vit gates up?" she asked.

"Oh, aye. It gives me a sense of control even though in reality I have not one ounce of it."

After their afternoon coffee a telegraph attendant arrived with a wire for Liam. It was from Ed Murphy telling Liam whom to contact for protection.

Head man is Dr. Sean O'Neill at St. John's.

~~~

A few days later Liam started at the hospital. There was a steady but not overly heavy stream of injured mine workers, cattlemen, and elderly who were sick or overheated. Liam worked in the emergency room with Sean O'Neill and chatted when the stream slowed.

"I'd like to talk to ye in private," Liam said. "A friend of mine, Ed Murphy, wired me to contact you."

"Let's go to our office, Liam. We have privacy there."

Liam and Sean grabbed lunch from the dining room and headed to the front hall. As they walked past the front desk, Liam mentioned that Lucy, the receptionist, wasn't there that day.

"Excellent," Sean quipped. "She's a corker that one. Stay away from her. She tries to lure the men in."

"That's good to know. I wouldn't be interested anyway. I am terribly in love with my wife. Would ye like to come to dinner on Sunday? Bring the whole family. Let's introduce the wives and children."

"Oh, aye, we'll be there after Mass."

Liam filled Sean in on his predicament as they ate.

Sean had heard of McKay having lived in Greenwich Village in New York City. "I grew up on the fringes of the gangs, and ended up in one of the Irish Catholic associations. My wife Molly's father was an elder at the church we went to. That's where I met her. Most of the congregation was Irish."

"Did ye get to the fights at all back then, in New York?"

"Oh, Aye. It's in our blood, don't ye think? How'd ye survive without gettin' yer nose busted?"

"I have no idea," Liam answered. "Why'd ye leave New York?"

"My father-in-law was angry I got Molly pregnant and married her without his permission. It was better than bein' killed. I think he was goin' to kill Molly, too. We've been here ever since."

"Jesus."

They spent the next minute or two finishing their roast chicken dinner. Then Sean spoke again. "Let's set up a bare-bones watch at the train station for now," he said. "Ye said ye didn't think anyone's comin' until next summer. My men can keep a casual watch as they go about their daily lives since ye say the McKay men wear a uniform of sorts. They have been here and I'm sure the men are familiar with what a McKay man looks like. We all went to the fights. Thank God they don't blend in."

"That'll be grand. I'll keep me own eye out as well. I was pissed off when they grabbed me."

"I bet ye nearly pissed yer knickers," Sean said, grinning. "I have to give ye credit for how ye escaped."

"I'll never tell about any pissed-in knickers."

They both chuckled.

"It may do yerself well if ye got a punchin' bag or somethin', to keep yerself in good condition," Sean said. "I know where ye can get one."

Sean was ready to get back to work while Liam had a bit of paper work at his desk.

"By the way," Sean said. "Did ye have a show name when ye fought?"

"Oh, aye. The Iron Fist," Liam answered.

"I do believe ye came here a few years ago. I remember that name distinctly. The whole event was booked as 'The Iron Fist' and the others. Jesus Christ, you were brutal," Sean said. "I'll be sure I don't get on yer wrong side." He smiled wryly and left.

~~~

Sean and Liam became fast friends, with their nationality a strong link. Sean, a Catholic, thought it was grand when Liam told him of how he had a Catholic friend and skirmished with his own Protestants while opposing British rule in the region. The two families became friends as well. Sean and his wife, Molly, had an eleven-year-old boy named after his father, and two girls, one eight and the other six. Young Sean, Maggie, and Alice were the spit of their mother Molly, an auburn-headed, blue-eyed pixie of a girl who elder Sean said ruled the roost.

~~~

While young Sean had his mother's auburn hair, striking pale blue eyes, and freckles, he was not small like her. Ellen noticed he was all legs and arms with a narrow torso. His father had said he had the promise of a tall lean man, definitely his father's build. Ellen was smitten by young Sean. The feeling seemed mutual on young Sean's part and the two soon-to-be sixth-graders became inseparable. Young Sean taught her the lay of the "Catholic Hill" neighborhood, the surrounding rocky, rolling hills, and the back alleys and streets of the city in the gulch. He showed her where the school was and gave her a who's who of the school-aged children she would encounter. He went on and on as they walked around the school grounds.

"We'll be in the same room," Sean said with a slight Northern Irish lilt. "There's a real eejit by the name of Robbie. Thinks he owns the place. Stay away from him. My good friend is Vincent Flannery. He's a year older. I know him from church. You'll like him. He has a sister, Siobhan. All the boys like her although I think all the boys will like you now that you're here. You're much prettier." He smiled, one corner of his mouth lifting.

"I don't vant every boy to like me," Ellen protested, blushing. "I have more important things to pay attention to," she declared. Secretly, she only wanted young Sean O'Neill to like her. Within a few short weeks of arriving in Montana, she had forgotten all about Arvid Huttunen of Virginia, Minnesota. Ellen Mattson liked Sean escorting her around her new home of Helena, teaching her things.

"I don't want to brag, but I get straight A's," Sean added.

"So do I," Ellen said, then smiled.

"Do ye like horses, Ellen?"

"I don't know. Well, we had a horse to pull the carriage and vagon. His name was Dandy. So, I tink I like him. Vhy do you ask?"

"What I mean is do you like to ride?"

"I never rode before."

"I take lessons. Maybe yer Da will let ye."

"Vhy ... I mean _w_ hy, correcting herself, do you call your Pappa 'Da'?"

"It's what the Irish say. Do ye think yer Da will let ye ride?"

Ellen had never thought about riding before but it intrigued her tremendously, especially because it would mean being with Sean. "Is it hard to do?" She was apprehensive.

"A little at first, but it gets easier once you learn how to balance. You can choose to ride English or Western."

"Vhat— _w_ hat does dat— _th_ at mean?"

"It's two different styles and tack—saddle and bridle. Ask yer Da and you can come to watch. I go to the stables at the race track on Wednesday afternoons."

~~~

The two fathers had exchanged glances already at the first Dady-O'Neill get-together and immediately agreed it was time for both blossoming near-teens to have "the talk." Since both fathers were doctors, their view of budding sexuality was based more in practicality and less in emotion, so it was decided they would be the ones to give the talk. The mothers could worry about the emotional falderal.

~~~

On the night of the first Dady-O'Neill get-together, Liam approached Ellen just before she went to sleep.

"So, yer mother and I see ye're quite fond of the doctor's son," Liam said. He was sitting in the rocker where he always sat to read to Ellen before bed. Liisa usually didn't pay that much attention yet. She watched and listened intently for short spurts of time while lying in her crib, but she mostly babbled and played with the _karhu_ that Ellen had made for her.

"He's a nice boy, Pappa," Ellen said. "Vhy— _w_ hy do you ask?" Her cheeks flushed.

"You and the boy are gettin' a little older now. The feelin's ye may have can lead to other feelin's, and ... before you and he know it ..." Liam tried to choose his words carefully mostly because he couldn't believe he was having this conversation with the girl who'd become his daughter only a short time ago. "I'm speakin' of what yer mother and I ... do."

"Pappa, what do you think Sean and I are going to do? We don't even think about that. We are too young."

"That's good ye realize that, Ellen. I'm proud of ye for a good sense ye're developin'. I know for a while now ye've been thinkin' about medical school. Ye won't be able to go if ye've got one or two screamin' babies clingin' to yer knees."

"Life is so much easier being a man, isn't it?"

Liam stood and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. "Maybe it is ... and maybe it isn't," he said. "It depends on how fierce ye want somethin'. If ye have the will, ye find a way, and ye don't let any eejits hold ye back." He laughed at Ellen's giggle at the word eejit.

"Goodnight, Da."

Liam grinned at her use of the Irish "Da". No doubt her new frien—the younger Sean influenced it. "Goodnight sweetheart," he said. He walked over to Liisa, who was sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth. He pulled her flannel sheet over her. He gently pushed her curls from her eyes. "Sweet dreams, my wee selkie," he whispered.

Next, he headed to Eva, who was just out of the bath and getting ready for bed. Immediately he became aroused in anticipation. He was happy for it and at the same time perplexed at the strong sexual attraction—even more than before—to Eva and she, to him. He would be happy if they could just stay in bed naked all the time. _I wish we didn't have to worry about McKay either,_ he thought _._

~~~

Eva sat at her dressing table, combing out her wet hair and squeezing it dry with a second linen towel; the first one was on the floor at her feet. She was naked, enjoying a slightly cool evening breeze from the open windows. The western sunset shone into the room casting a scarlet glow in the darkening room.

Eva turned to see Liam taking his clothes off. His excitement at being alone with her showed unequivocally.

She smiled. "Go take qvick bat den you smell nice for me."

She gave him an alluring gaze and smile. Seemingly under her spell, he drifted across the floor to the bathroom.

A short time later he came back with a white linen towel wrapped around his middle, slung low. His arousal was still evident under the towel. The hair on his head was shiny and dripping. The only thing he didn't do was shave so his stubble was dark.

To Eva, he seemed like a wild male who just crawled out of a river in the wilderness of America ready to mate. She began to feel herself pulse in a rudimentary way. Her chest heaved in her attempt to gain more air. She felt paralyzed until Liam spoke.

"Ye look like a beached mermaid, yer hair all wet and coverin' yer breasts." He gazed into her eyes. "Come here, Eva. Yer man wants ye." He stood next to an open window, bathed in the red glow of the Montana sunset.

This time it was Eva's turn to be drawn to Liam's words of bidding, summoning her to him. She went into his arms. She let him have access to her dark purple areolas and taut nipples. He nipped at them and her knees gave way. He picked her up and carried her to their bed.

She desired to be taken tonight and remained with her back flat on the mattress covered in cool clean cotton sheets. Liam spent time hovering and running his tongue over her breasts, kissing her round belly, a full five months now. He moved to her extremely sensitive genitals making her spread her legs. "Please, Liam. . ." she moaned, begging him to enter her.

He shifted to whisper in her ear. "I'm not done yet."

He drove her mad with desire. She tried to put her hand on him and he grabbed it gently, moving it away. He held both her hands against the bed and continued his oral foreplay. He straddled her and aimed his tongue and lips at her neck and ears.

"Liam! Now," she whimpered. She began to thrust her hips wildly. "Now!"

With that last demand he entered her hard, pounding into her as forcefully as she could stand. She came as quickly as he did. They curled up together immediately.

"I like you make me crazy," she said some time later. "Den you push hard into me."

"I'll remember that for next time," he said sleepily. He gave her bottom a quick, soft massage and fell asleep.

~~~

Toward the end of August when all the materials had been gathered, work on the _sauna_ began. Eva had ordered the _sauna_ stove right away from Michigan. Leo added an edge on the top of the wood burning stove that would hold the stones. To create the humidity, water would be thrown on the hot stones. Liam also ordered ten cord of seasoned wood to fire the stove on Saturdays and to stoke the fireplaces in the house over the winter. In February another seasoned six would be delivered by Svenson's Lumber.

Liam knew Alpo, Sally, and their two sons, Alpo Jr. and Kari, were heaven for Eva. She still seemed very attached to her native tongue and ways but out of courtesy they switched to English when Liam was in the conversation. The two sons were in their early twenties and not yet married, Alpo Jr. being the elder. Sally attributed that to their reserved male nature and the lack of Finnish girls.

"Dey could find udder girls, not Finn," Eva said.

With fondness Liam saw the Pelto family as another blond-haired, blue eyed group of Norse people. He didn't know exactly where his dark hair came from. It was interesting to him. The Pelto boys would most likely end up marrying outside their nationality if they were inclined to be married. He watched Eva with affection as she chatted with her countrymen. He'd also heard of mail-order brides—women from other countries looking for a way to get to America. He thought that could be risky, with both "shopper" and "merchandise" entering the contract sight unseen. He wouldn't care so much what the woman looked like; he would be concerned about personality and mental and physical health. He was glad he had had time to get to know Eva for a few months in spite of knowing he loved her from the very beginning just as he had with Dolly. Dolly was vulnerable and so was Eva. He and Eva had both been giant emotional train wrecks back then but they'd been able to heal together against the seemingly insurmountable odds. He smiled fondly at the recollection of the punch in the jaw and various body blows he'd received from Eva the enraged Viking lunatic. But that happened only after he had pushed her over the edge with snow down her neck. Liam had known what he was getting into. He was driven by his desire to help heal the two women in his life both of whom he loved and would love forever. And while he was helping them he'd helped himself.

One afternoon as they were all taking a break from the _sauna_ construction to have lunch in the shade of the front porch, Eva told Sally and Alpo her story of how she came to America. She left out the part where Victor was unfaithful and her mentally ill brother-in-law nearly strangled her to death.

Then Eva let Liam explain his own life; only he would know how he wanted to tell it. He left out the part where Dolly was a prostitute but for the most part he told it true. Sally and Alpo were fascinated with the similarities of both lives, and how amazing it was that they had found each other.

"God was directing," was the consensus.

### Chapter 7

At the end of August Liam received a letter from Ed and Annie in Minnesota. Liam paraphrased it to Eva as he sat reading at his desk: "The boardin' house has been sold and the funds are being transferred to the bank in Helena." Eva listened as she dusted the library furniture.

"Paul and Emil bought it," Liam said. "They each used some of their savings, recruited a cook and housekeeper. It's Susanna Nikander, Katia's mam."

"I tink dat vonderful for her! Sees gonna earn her own money. I hope sees leef her bad husband. Katia and Susanna can liff at boardink house."

"The house is full of bachelor Finns from Mesabi and the local timber company." Liam read silently for a short moment. "Ed's found a buyer for the soda fountain. A young couple from town saw it as a lifetime opportunity."

"Dat's good, too."

"They're travelin' at the end of September bringing our remaining belongings from the boarding house with their own. They're shipping the loom."

"Not lonk now my loom and Annie vill be here."

"There's more. Saimi Laivo went to see the doctor with mild chest pains but it wasn't her heart, only indigestion. She's as healthy as a horse, Dr. Andersen said. She has recovered with a little sodium bicarbonate in water. She will write."

Liam was excited to have Annie with them soon.

"Let's call Colleen, Ed's daughter, and invite them over," Liam suggested.

~~~

It was nearly time for school to start. The days of summer were dwindling but Ellen got in three riding lessons with young Sean before the first day of sixth grade. Watching the intriguing object of her burgeoning affection ride expertly she realized she had much to learn.

"Ye're a natural, Ellen," young Sean yelled from the other end of the indoor riding ring. Ellen sat determined in the saddle learning how to direct the horse with her knees. "Bandit's a good gelding to learn on," he added as he rode up to Ellen. "He's used to new riders and is patient."

They decided she would learn English saddle first. It was more formal than Western. She needed to learn the basics. Pappa Liam bought her a riding outfit including jodhpurs and high boots. She absolutely loved it. She had never worn anything with pant legs other than under a dress to keep her legs from frostbite on the way to school in the middle of winter. She had always wondered how it felt being a man. It gave her a feeling of strength and power.

One night, after Liam and Eva said goodnight to her after story time, Ellen got out of bed, turned on her lamp, and stared in the mirror as she put her waist-length hair up on her head to see how she would look with shorter hair. For a few moments, she felt the urge to cut it. She scanned her dresser for a pair of scissors but didn't find any on top or in the drawers. But a moment later she was glad she hadn't found them. She'd lost the nerve to do it. Her hair was as long as her mother's. _I see how Pappa Liam is mesmerized by my Mamma's hair when it's not up. If I cut mine, will Sean still like me? Some girls have their hair short. Would I have more power? If I don't cut it and leave it long, will I just be another girl with no power?_ She looked at herself in the mirror. She knew most women in the nation didn't have a vote, only men. That was definitely not fair.

She decided to leave her hair as it was for the time being and crawled back into bed. Pappa Liam said nothing about long hair being an impediment to getting what she wanted in a "man's world." _I'll show them with my long hair,_ she thought _._

~~~

For the first time in her life, Ellen had a man for a teacher. It was sickeningly obvious to her that he favored the boys. It was different than her old school. It shocked her and she found herself floundering.

One evening not long after school started story time for Ellen had just ended. Liam stayed in the rocker for a few minutes. Ellen was sitting on her bed cross-legged.

"Ye haven't said anythin' about school. How is it?" he asked.

"Pappa, my teacher, Mr. Daily, doesn't like the girls. The boys get to do everything first, then the girls go."

"Remember what I said to ye a short while ago? 'Where there's a will?' Ye need to reach down inside ye and find yer strength and power. It comes from you, not anyone else. No one gives it to ye, and no one _takes_ it from ye."

"So Mr. Daily can't take it?"

"Only if ye let him."

"I heard someone say at the stables 'It's a man's world.' Is that true?"

"Lots of people believe that, mostly eejit men."

She laughed.

"Women have been sayin' that's a lot of bunk and are fightin' for equal rights and suffrage," he added.

"What's suffrage?"

"Votin' rights."

"It's not fair that women can't vote."

"No, it's not. Black people and other groups are findin' it difficult as well."

"What?" Ellen was flabbergasted.

"If ye want, I can go talk to him—Mr. Daily."

"No, Da. Let me handle it, for now. Then we'll see what happens. I'll keep my grades up and show Mr. Daily what I'm made of." She felt relieved that her Pappa Liam would stand behind her while she waged her first battle to stand as an equal among her classmates. She went to her stepfather and gave him a hug.

"Good girl. I always knew ye to be a tough nugget," he said with a smile.

Ellen walked away from his hug standing tall, with a feeling of determination. After she got back in bed, Liam tucked her in. As he took his leave, Ellen whispered loudly to him, "I'm glad you're my Pappa Liam, Da."

"Me, too," Liam said, sticking his head back in the room. "Lights out," he said. He grinned, and then left.

~~~

School was progressing for Ellen with her hard work and perseverance. All the boys ended up liking Ellen more than Siobhan Flannery. Not just for her looks, but for her smarts. The boys went to her for work help but she was careful not to give them outright answers. She made them do their own work.

Mr. Daily apparently had taken notice. He was a slight, greasy-haired man who smelled like stale tobacco smoke. "I think you'd make an outstanding teacher someday, Miss Mattson," he said.

"Thank you, Mr. Daily," she said politely, "but I don't want to be a teacher. I want to be a doctor, like my stepfather Dr. Dady. He says I can do anything."

"Many people believe there are some things women aren't capable of doing well," Mr. Daily said matter of factly. He turned his back on her and walked away.

"I intend to prove otherwise," Ellen said, still maintaining her respectful tone, pretending she didn't perceive his condescension. She saw his scrawny drooping shoulders tighten. She went back to her desk work on the chapter on biology in front of her, her lips pursed in concentration. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him give her a glare.

Ellen knew young Sean had seen the exchange from his desk next to her. She looked at him, feeling triumphant.

When Daily turned his attention to another student, Sean whispered to her," What are ye doin', Ellen? Are ye buckin' for punishment?" His eyes were bugged out in incredulity at her hubris.

She whispered back. "He won't punish me. If he does, he'll only do it once. Pappa Liam will see to that. I told Pappa I'd handle things on my own for now."

"Jaysus . . ." Sean hissed, and then a corner of his mouth turned up.

Ellen smiled and returned to her biology book.

It was near the end of the day and time for announcements about the next day's activities and homework assignments. Mr. Daily went to the front of the classroom. "In two weeks, we will have the all-school science fair," he said. "In three days, I want your ideas of what you want to present for that day. The project will have a written and spoken presentation and a visual model—drawings, objects, anything that can be made or used so people can see what you are talking about."

Ellen was excited beyond belief. She immediately thought of the carved ivory human skeleton in her father's office he shared with Dr. O'Neill at the hospital. If they could let her borrow that, she could draw and label each and every bone in the human body. How perfect would that be for a science project? _Extraordinarily perfect,_ she thought, her excitement soaring.

Ellen and Sean walked home from school together. His sisters Maggie and Alice followed not far behind.

Sean nudged her with his shoulder, knocking her off balance. "Ye're quiet this afternoon, Ellen."

She smiled and shoved him just a little harder knocking him off the slate sidewalk. They laughed. "I was just thinking," she said, "about what I was going to do for the science fair. I'm going to keep it a secret."

"Girls don't usually participate in the science fair," he said.

"This girl will."

"Well then, good luck with it."

As they approached Sean's house, they paused. Maggie and Alice ran inside.

Sean hung his book strap on the gate and said, "come on, I'll walk ye home."

"Let's have pie and milk when we get there," Ellen suggested.

Sean walked in silence for a few moments. "Do ye want to work as partners in the science fair, Ellen?" he said at last. "I'm an excellent artist if ye have drawin' in mind."

"Are partners allowed?"

"As long as ye indicate who did what work, partners are fine."

"I want to be an equal partner." She emphasized the word 'equal.' "I want it to be known that it's my original idea and given credit for everything I do.

"Take it easy," Sean said, amused. "What are ye, one of those suffragettes?"

"If you mean do I want all women to have voting rights, yes." She was serious, but joined in his amusement.

"All right, Susan B. Anthony. Tell me yer science fair idea."

"How do you know about her?"

"Me mam told me."

~~~

The night before the science fair Ellen and young Sean were at the Dady house finishing up the loose ends of their skeleton project. They were working at the dining room table which had been covered with a large oil cloth. The chandelier was blazing. There were pairs of scissors, scraps of paper, string, a pot of black paint, and homemade paste. The table and floor were littered. Young Sean had been able to create some very nice pencil drawings. They had taken different areas of the skeleton and labeled the drawings with Latin names, starting with the skull, moving to the torso and then the extremities. They made books out of the drawn sections, similar to an anatomy text. Their fathers were allowing them to borrow the ivory skeleton for their exhibit. It would be delivered to the school auditorium the afternoon before.

While Sean illustrated the bones Ellen had looked up their names and made labels in Latin, along with their more common English names to glue on Sean's drawings that went into the books. They cut out and painted letters that would be attached to the wall in the auditorium where the science fair would be set up. The letters spelled THE HUMAN SKELETON, by Ellen Mattson and Sean O'Neill, Sixth Grade.

As they finished and were cleaning up the last of the mess, Eva came over to the table. "Everytink look so nice," she said with pride, fingering the books.

Ellen and Sean grinned at each other.

~~~

The next afternoon, Liam arranged for some time off. He and Eva left Liisa with Molly O'Neill and went to the science fair held in the auditorium. There were many fine exhibits, from an erupting volcano, to wild animals of Montana with taxidermy examples, to a miniature steam engine built by a group of senior boys. That exhibit had been set up outside since it needed coal to heat the water.

Liam spotted Ellen and young Sean. "Which one is Mr. Daily?" he asked them. They pointed him out.

Liam went over to Mr. Daily and introduced himself expecting Daily to make some comment about Ellen's participation in a mainly male realm. He wasn't disappointed.

"I'm surprised you let your daughter participate," Mr. Daily said. "This is boys' territory."

"I encourage her to do what she desires. She wants to excel in academics and that's what I support. Times are changin', Mr. Daily. I'll not have either daughter of mine thinkin' their role in life is simply ornamental or second rate. They have quite a bit to offer the world."

Mr. Daily gave Liam a look of indignance. "I'm wondering who actually did the work between the two of them." He jerked his head in the direction of young Sean and Ellen.

"I'll have ye know, it was her idea originally. Sean did the art work while Ellen did the research and writin'."

Liam got a look of incredulity from the condescending bastard.

"Are ye thinkin' me a liar, Mr. Daily?" Liam spoke softly and evenly, subtly changing his position to face Daily straight on.

Daily lost his composure seeming to realize that Dr. Dady was not going to stand for any falderal about his stepdaughter.

"From now on, Daily, I want to hear nothin' about you discouragin' my daughter in any way, shape, or form. She's a brilliant girl. You'd see it if ye'd just shut yer pie hole about boy's territory or girl's territory."

Liam held his stance and eye contact. Mr. Daily was the first to look away. Liam knew it was a sign of submission. Daily opened his mouth to say something, but closed it.

"I do believe we're done with this conversation," Liam said. "I would like to go see my daughter's and her friend's exhibit, if ye'll excuse me."

Satisfied that he'd gotten his point across Liam walked away to join Eva at the exhibit table. He loosened his tense neck muscles as he consciously put on a "father face," pleased with the children's hard work. The elder Sean had come as well and all were proud and happy at the human skeleton exhibit.

Each time a group of judges came to their exhibit, Ellen and Sean gave a talk on their project. They both were audible, clear, and confident. The judges were a group of business owners and town government members. All were men. All of them knew Dr. O'Neill, who in turn introduced the judges to Liam and Eva.

"Your daughter seems to be an anomaly," one of the businessmen said to Liam and Eva. "We never see girls participating. Having daughters myself I'm impressed."

"Tank you," Eva said with pride.

"She's goin' far," Liam said. "We already see that in her. She'll blaze trails. I know it. Perhaps yer daughters will too."

"Good for you, Miss Mattson," the businessman said to Ellen.

Ellen gave him a natural yet charming smile. "Thank you, Sir," she said.

~~~

On the walk home Eva was in high spirits because her daughter seemed like she was in seventh heaven. She watched as Ellen and young Sean walked ahead bumping and pushing each other. She and Sean had won first prize in their age group. Eva and Liam, along with elder Sean, walked behind the kids. She also listened while her husband and his new friend chatted. All afternoon Eva had strived to hide her uncomfortable feeling that elder Sean seemed to be harboring feelings for her and had been for a while. She could tell by the way he watched her whenever the families were together for Sunday dinners. Eva had seen his unending gaze on her today at the Science Fair. She wondered if Liam had seen it. If he had been aware he was not saying a thing about it. She shook off her discomfort vowing to stay close to Liam whenever the families were together.

"Not bad for sixth graders," elder Sean said. "I'm proud of them both."

"As am I," Liam said.

"Vhat you talk to Mr. Daily 'bout, Liam?" Eva asked.

"I saw that interesting exchange, Dady," elder Sean said.

"He gave me grief about girls bein' in the science fair so I wanted to let him know I was expecting him to encourage Ellen to express herself academically with no barriers put forth by him or anyone else."

"Ye didn't threaten him, did ye?" Sean senior asked, with a wry half-smile.

"Who me?" Liam quipped. "I'm a doctor. I took an oath to do no harm."

Eva watched them both glance at each other smiling with conceit like younger men. Eva took Liam's proffered arm giving an audible sigh. She made eye contact with him in a scolding way. She understood well, men boasting dominance and prowess over other males. It was a universal trait, and it made Liam smile like an adolescent with his new friend despite her non-verbal scolding. She couldn't help grinning at his rare childish behavior.

~~~

Annie and Ed Murphy arrived in Helena the first week in October.

"Ye may as well stay with us," Liam suggested before they left the train station upon arrival. "Especially since ye say yer daughter and her husband have so little room in their tiny house near the mines."

"It shouldn't be forever," Ed said, accepting the offer.

"It can be lonk as you need," Eva offered kindly.

"I'm just happy to be here," Annie said hugging Liam.

Colleen Murphy Brady had showed up in a cab to greet her father and Annie. Richard, her husband, was at work. She was invited for dinner at the Dadys.

The bruise on Colleen's cheekbone was obvious.

"What happened to ye, darlin'?" Ed asked.

"Oh, I bumped into an open cabinet door," Colleen explained dismissively, waving it off. "Nothin' more."

Liam sensed something not right about Colleen's dismissal but he was soon distracted by his Annie's appearance.

"I'm glad ye're here too, Annie," Liam said kissing her forehead. Out of the corner of his eye he'd noticed the dark circles under Colleen's eyes like some war refugees had.

"I'm so happy, too, Grannie," Ellen added, affectionately hugging the only grandmotherly figure she had in America.

"Where's my wee selkie?" Annie said, animated. She headed toward Liisa,who was in Eva's arms.

Liisa squealed and leaned into Annie.

### Chapter 8

Liam thought that because they had the longest table that they would host Thanksgiving Dinner. He'd talked it over with Eva a few weeks before the holiday. They invited the O'Neill clan, Annie, Ed, Ed's daughter and son-in-law, and Sally's family.

Eva was, for all intents and purposes, nine months pregnant. It showed in her overly big belly. Her ankles swelled easily and her back hurt after standing for a period of time.

Liam lectured her on Thanksgiving morning in their bedroom. "Eva, I know ye'll want to help today but ye can't, plainly."

"But I vant to. It's my house and I am—"

"Look at yer ankles right now."

"Den I stay up here, and don't come down." She pouted.

"I can see ye start to dig yer heels in."

"I don't know vhat dat means."

"Ye're gettin' stubborn."

"Who is stubborn vone?" she said sharply.

Liam had a feeling this was going to be a difficult day. In his mind, however, he was going to be the victor in this conflict.

~~~

After Annie, Sally, and Molly O'Neill arrived to cook together, Liam realized Eva had gone to the kitchen with them. He found her helping the women and ordered Eva to sit next to the fire in a club chair bolstered with pillows and plenty of _mehu_ , her feet on a hassock. Once she was settled in, he went to stand next to elder Sean near the game table in the corner of the parlor.

"Christ, Liam, are ye sure ye're the father and not the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk?" elder Sean said. "I've never seen a bigger belly on a pregnant woman."

"I can assure ye, Sean, I'm the father. And yes, I am quite the giant."

Both of them smirked. Liam followed Sean to the group of drinkers where elder Sean took a refill of whiskey from Ed.

"She's givin' me the hairy eyeball," Liam said half guilty, half indignant.

"She's not happy with ye," elder Sean said. "I know that glare well myself. I'm drinkin' as much as I can before Molly grabs the glass from me."

"Then I'll be the doctor on call," Liam said. "Ye can't go drunk."

"I thank ye beforehand, then," elder Sean said. He raised his glass to Liam and downed the double shot of Jamesons in a single gulp.

A short while later Liam took Ed Murphy off to the side to speak to him privately.

"I wanted to talk to ye as well, Liam," Ed said. "Have ye seen Sean O'Neill have eyes for your Eva?"

"That's why I pulled ye aside. Will ye say somethin' to him for me? I don't want to ruin our workin' relations. I rather like the man other than his lust for my wife."

"I know just what to say. It'll be all me. I won't involve ye at all."

"Thanks."

~~~

Eva seemed overly irritated that Liam wouldn't let her go anywhere near the kitchen. He kept catching her trying to sneak in there when he wasn't looking. Eva told him he was being ridiculous, actually escorting her up and down the stairs to use the toilet, which, at this point in her pregnancy, was quite frequent. Colleen, Ed's daughter, was just as pregnant and she, too, was propped up in a chair just like Eva's next to the fire upon Liam the Physician's directive. It was Colleen's first baby and she had many questions for Eva.

"I should've had a toilet put in on the first floor this past fall," Liam said to elder Sean and Alpo Sr. after the half dozen times he escorted Eva to the upstairs.

"Ve put toilet in _sauna_ , Liam," Alpo reminded him.

"Yes, but it's also freezin' rain out there today. The ice is treacherous. First thing this spring we'll have ye put a toilet on the first floor, Alpo," Liam said.

Just then the telephone rang. Liam answered.

"I have to go in," he called over to Eva. "A man cut himself carvin' the turkey. He needs stitches. I'll be back in an hour. Do not move, do ye hear me?"

He got no verbal response from Eva, just a glare. He left.

When Liam came back forty minutes later, he found Eva in the kitchen. "Ye're standin' when I told ye not to," he said though his teeth.

"Everybody lookink at you, Liam," Eva said.

"I don't give a damn." He saw her face, noting that her heels were not only dug in, but buried. He took a deep breath and changed tactics. "Please, Eva. Please go sit."

She went back to her chair.

"Yer bein' rough on her, Liam," Annie said taking him aside in the backroom off the kitchen. What's it about then?"

"Is it any of yer business?" he snapped. Then he felt ashamed. "I'm so sorry, Annie." He took her into his arms. "I'm worried about her bein' pregnant and her health and the stairs ..."

"I can see yer fears, darlin', but ye can't make her sit this whole time."

"Ye're right. I'll try to stop and then talk with her tonight." Liam kissed Annie on the forehead and let her go.

After, Liam's scolding Eva slowed down, but didn't stop.

~~~

Earlier when the O'Neills had arrived, Ellen had escorted the children to her room. She had decided that she would do her own entertaining. She set up a plate of ginger cookies and _mehu_ on her bedside table. They played most of the day in her room, alternating between quiet card games and raucous jumping, screaming, and laughing.

At the present, the kids were all sitting cross-legged in a tight circle on the Turkish rug, playing a game of crazy eights. Liisa was in her crib asleep with her thumb in her mouth.

Maggie and Alice hadn't a chance to win the card game with the cutthroat playing between young Sean and Ellen. The pair always found anything they did together an opportunity for friendly competition. Games, horseback riding, school grades—everything was fair game.

"Let's see who can eat the most pieces of pumpkin pie," Sean suggested as they finished with cards.

"Fine by me," Ellen said. "Hey, I found some scary stories in the library the other day by Edgar Allen Poe. Let's go read them to each other."

"Grand, but they won't be scary to me," Sean said confidently.

"Then I'll read you _The Telltale Heart_ ," Ellen said with equal confidence. "You can tell me how it makes you feel when I'm done."

As the O'Neill brood stomped out of Ellen's room, she checked on Liisa for a moment, saw she was fine, and ran to catch up with the rest. When they all thundered down the curved staircase like a herd of rogue elephants, both Pappa Liam and elder Sean, standing in the foyer with Ed Murphy, gave the group a sharp look and a "Hey! Slow down."

Liam stopped Ellen at the bottom of the stairs. "Where's Liisa?" he asked. "Did ye close the gates?"

"Da, Liisa's sleeping in her crib, and I closed the gate up top." She didn't wait for a reply as she sped to catch up again. "I'm sitting next to Sean," Ellen yelled. She shut the double doors of the library.

~~~

After the kids went into the library, Liam and elder Sean looked at each other.

"Do ye trust them, Liam?" Sean asked.

"Fer now, Sean, but I still keep a solid eye on them. I'm sure I make yer son more than a wee bit nervous." Liam crooked one side of his mouth in a smile.

Sean mirrored the smile. "Good!" he said lightheartedly.

"While we can't keep them from fallin' in love, we can jam it into their heads—no babies before their lives can get goin'. Ellen still wants to go to medical school."

Ed piped in. "I'm not surprised. She's a force to be reckoned with."

"Tell me about it," Liam said.

Sean shook his head and said, "What amuses me is that my son is not affected by her strength at all."

"Has wee Sean showed an interest in any particular field?" Liam asked.

"I'm not sure what he wants yet. He seems to be fascinated with those Thoroughbreds down at the stables. He begs Molly and me to let him go when a mare's foaling. He's got a fine eye for breedin' pairs as well, or so they tell me down there. There's money to be made in horse breedin'. He's excellin' in horsemanship all 'round."

"I'm determined to let my children choose what they want to do with their lives," Liam said. "I know what it's like to be under the undue influence of parents, thinkin' they're goin' to tell ye what to do when ye're an adult." He glanced toward Eva, who was in conversation with Colleen. He noticed her feet were not up, but flat on the floor. "Eva," he said sharply. "Put yer damn feet up."

Eva did what he asked but gave him a dark look, eyelids turning to slits. She waited to return to her conversation with Colleen.

Ed whispered. "Holy Christ, Liam. She's about to rip ye a new one."

"Let her rip away," Liam said, equally annoyed at Eva, raising his eyebrows at her. He looked away.

The men chatted a while about their familial influences with elder Alpo, who said he was from peasant stock near Finland's Arctic region.

~~~

Ellen, along with the other children, was recruited to set the table. With the extensions in the table it took two tablecloths to cover it. The centerpiece was a cornucopia in fall colors. Sean's mother was seeing to getting the children started.

"Aren't these gorgeous?" Molly remarked of the china plates as she pulled them from the cabinet. Then she asked Ellen, "Do ye know how to set the dishes and silver?"

"Oh, yes. I can take care of it, Mrs. O'Neill."

"All right, then. Have at it," she said and left for the kitchen seeming satisfied that the table would get set.

Ellen knew the place settings by heart and taught the younger girls.

"Maggie, go count how many big people there are," Ellen said. "Then we'll know how many places to set. We kids will sit in the kitchen."

Young Sean was in charge of filling the water glasses and keeping the pitcher filled as the dinner would progress.

Maggie came back to Ellen with the count and Ellen thanked her.

As Ellen laid the plates on the table, she said, "Sean, how did you feel when you heard that story by Poe?"

Sean poured the water in the Chrystal water goblets on the table. "It gave me shivers up my spine," he said with a grin. "You were right."

"I'll have a time turning my light off tonight," Ellen said shivering herself and giggling.

~~~

Liam went into the kitchen to see if dinner was almost ready. Sally, Molly, and Annie were busy filling serving bowls with a variety of international foods: American, Irish, and Finnish, including colcannon from Ireland, rutabaga casserole from Finland, and all the turkey and trimmings from America.

"We're bringing everything out momentarily," Annie said. "I'm just about done filling the children's serving bowls for here in the kitchen."

As the adults gathered at the table, Liam noticed that Kari Pelto, aged twenty-two, couldn't keep his eyes off the lovely, but married, Colleen Murphy Brady. Liam also noticed how seemingly aloof and uncaring Colleen's husband was toward her. He wondered what would eventually become of this union. He wouldn't say anything to Ed unless Ed volunteered the information. He saw no noticeable bruises on her this time. Brady had also done his share of drinking before dinner sporting a sour face.

Liam asked Ed Murphy to lead a prayer of thanks, then Sally carved the turkey then young Sean was called to bring a small platter of it to the kids in the kitchen. With everyone seated after the prayer, the side dishes were passed.

"At the children's table, young Sean did his own version of a thanksgiving prayer. First, he glanced toward the adults in the dining room. Then he whispered.

"Good God, good food, let's eat." He giggled and crossed himself.

Ellen tittered.

Warm fires blazed in the fireplaces keeping the freezing late November cold outside where it belonged. It was a true American gathering to Liam, each person finding a place not only at the table in front of them, but at the grand American table peopled by those who came from a faraway land searching for a better life. not only was that journey for themselves but for the children who followed, born true Americans. He knew that for Eva, the journey had been for Ellen along with getting out of the trouble Victor had found himself in. For Liam, the journey had meant freedom from the restrictions that had been placed on him by absurd social mores—mores by which his own mother blindly lived by. No one at this table was under the illusion it would always be easy, but all knew it was up to each of them to determine the success or failure they would experience during their allotted time at the American table. The right to the pursuit of happiness meant just that.

~~~

Liisa woke up after dinner and Liam retrieved her. He fed her at the kitchen table with a small amount of the foods and small pieces of turkey. Then he brought Liisa and her sip cup full of milk to Eva, who was now re-propped comfortably in her plush chair. Clean-up was quick as the children carted empty plates and serving bowls to the kitchen. Liam washed while Ed and elder Sean dried. The rest of the former twenty-five-pound turkey was sliced and split between the four families for take-home leftovers. Ellen and young Sean were not allowed to have their pie eating contest as there was not enough extra.

"I ate the most food," young Sean bragged to Ellen after finding out they couldn't have their pie eating contest.

"No wonder, because you are a bleedin' pig with the biggest pie hole I've ever seen," she blurted.

This made them laugh like loons.

"Let's go back to the library and read _The Murders in the Rue Morgue_ ," young Sean suggested. The two left.

While Liam and the other two men he recruited washed and dried the dishes, Eva entered the kitchen with one last empty bowl.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Eva! What the hell do I have to do to keep ye sittin'?" Liam hollered. He felt the end of the rope in his hands.

She placed the bowl on the table with force, glared at him and left the kitchen. Liam followed her, but she headed up the stairs. While Liam watched, he felt feckless, he heard their bedroom door slam. He went back to the kitchen.

Shortly after, Ellen entered the kitchen. Apparently, she had heard the argument from the library. "Pappa, Mamma is very angry with you," she scolded.

Ed coughed and elder Sean cleared his throat. They were standing next to Liam, drying the dishes.

"You have been very bossy today," Ellen said quite commandingly. "I've heard you. Mamma's having her third baby. She knows what she is doing."

Liam took a deep breath and let it out in a long snort through his nose. He did not make eye contact with the protector of Eva but focused instead on washing the dish in his hands.

Seemingly satisfied that she made her point Ellen then hugged Liam around the waist, staying for several moments which gave Liam a time to soften just a little, and then she left. Liam watched Ed and elder Sean pause their drying and glance at each other, seeming stunned, and definitely amused.

"I've never seen such a fine balance between utter cheek and artful diplomacy," Ed remarked.

Elder Sean added, "Christ, Liam. Ye've got two o' them. Wait 'til she starts with her monthlies. With Eva, they'll make a great tag team. They'll come at ye from both sides. I know, I have two that have started the turn-takin' with their mother."

Liam said nothing and gave his "supporters" a hairy eye ball. This made Ed and elder Sean clear their throats and go back to drying the dishes trying to stifle a chuckle.

Liam turned his head away and smiled. _They've got that right_ , he thought to himself. It was rare for Eva and Liam to have arguments and be angry at each other, not counting their first months together.

After finishing the dishes, Liam came out of the kitchen and stood at the door to the library. "Ellen," he snapped, "get Liisa, and make sure she's not on the stairs. At least we can make sure she's not goin' to break her fuckin' neck, if she falls."

The two were in dead-on eye contact. Ellen gave Liam a very black look, walked past him, and went to find her sister.

~~~

For the next several days, Eva slept in the spare bedroom and barely spoke to Liam. She went up and down the stairs as she pleased. Liam would leave for work slamming the front door. Eva would leave a plate of supper on the stove which would be cold by the time he arrived in the evening. He wasn't rushing home.

Annie sat with him one evening about a week after Thanksgiving while he ate brooding. Eva was nowhere in sight. "You need to be on the watch now, Liam. She's so close to deliverin'. Jesus, ye ought to know that, ye're a doctor."

"She won't even look at me, Annie. She's so angry. She's avoiding me now."

"Do ye want to know somethin'?"

He gave her a side glance. "I have a feelin' ye're goin' to tell me even if I said 'No'."

"I don't blame her."

"I knew ye'd say that." He scratched his head, dropped his fork on the half empty plate, and rubbed his face with both hands. He growled in frustration.

At that moment, Ellen showed up in the kitchen. Her eyes were wide and anxiety ridden. "Mamma needs you upstairs," she said. "The floor is wet where she was standing in our room changing Liisa. It sounded like water dumping out of a cup. That happened about an hour ago." She didn't wait for a reply. "She's in the bathroom and in labor." Ellen turned and left the room.

"Christ, Annie. How long has she been in labor and not told me?" Liam snapped.

"She hasn't told me or Ed anythin' either."

"Jesus, Eva!" Liam hissed threw his teeth.

"What can I do, Liam?" Annie asked.

"As we go along, it'll become clearer."

"How about if I boil water?" Annie smiled.

"Brilliant, then come up." Liam smiled back just a little and then rushed out of the kitchen. He hurried up the stairs cursing the safety gates as he unlocked and opened them. "How ironic," he said with sarcasm. He wanted to get to Eva.

He ran into the girl's room to find it empty except for Liisa asleep in her crib. He ran into the master suite.

"Eva," Liam called, sounding anxious.

He found her and Ellen in the bathroom.

"Liam," Eva said, obviously fretful and in pain. She was on her hands and knees on the white ceramic tiles.

"How long have ye been in labor and ye haven't told me?" Liam said. "God damn it, Eva!" He rushed to her. He saw she had gotten caught in a contraction.

"Stop! Yust stop. God damn it, Liam. You get out if you gonna yell at me. I'm sick you beink angry vit me!"

"Fine!" he answered crossly.

He fumed as he tried to help her. He could see her agonizing labor pain, the contraction coming on. He felt it with his hand. He watched her face and attention turning completely inward—rejecting his now obvious self-indulgent rant—to the impending birth of her third child. He suddenly felt like one giant arsehole. "All right, darlin', let's take care of ye." He turned soft and attentive. "Ellen, darlin', I know ye're probably not happy with me right now but I need ye to help for Mamma's sake."

"Fine, I can help you."

"Is the bed ready? I had brought a large piece of rubber cloth from the hospital like rain macks are made of. Take the blankets off the bed and put that down on the mattress. Then put all the old quilts on it. See them in the corner of the room?"

"Yes. I see them. I'll go get the bed ready."

Annie came in with a kettle of the boiled water. "I brought these clean towels as well." As she put them on the dresser he saw her startle as she noticed Eva on the floor.

"Oh, darlin' Eva," Annie cooed, going immediately to her. "We need to get ye in the bed, sweetheart." Annie looked at Liam, asking with her eyes if it was all right if she helped a bit.

Eva reached for the helping hand of Annie.

Liam hoisted Eva up from her underarms. Once she was on her two feet, she fell into Liam's arms.

"I vant you hold me," she said like a young child.

Liam enveloped her and whispered, "I love ye, and I'm sorry I've been a contemptible bastard."

As he kissed and nuzzled her, a big contraction hit. Her legs buckled. Liam scooped her up off the floor and carried her to the bed.

"Baby is comink," Eva began to panic.

Annie and Ellen put pillows behind her. Her nightgown was already soaked with sweat. Her face was pale. Annie placed a folded sheet under Eva's bottom to catch the placenta when it delivered.

"I'll get a cold cloth," Ellen said running into the bathroom to fetch it. She came back out and wiped her mother's face and neck. "Mamma, are you gonna be all right?" she asked.

Eva was beyond speaking. Ellen looked inquiringly at Liam.

"Mamma is very engrossed in the birth now," he said. "Many women can't, or don't want to hold a conversation. So far though, I think she'll be fine." As Liam gently put Eva's knees up to examine her, he saw that the baby was already crowning. "This is not going to be long," he said. "The baby's right here. No wonder ye're hurtin'. It's another dark head, sweetheart." Speaking soft and lovingly, he looked at her to see if he could make eye contact. He got it momentarily. "Push hard next—"

"Ahhh!" She started to push before Liam finished.

"Mamma!" Ellen cried. She went to her mother and held her hand.

It was just a few more pushes and the newborn came wailing into the world.

Liam could barely see what he was doing; tears of joy were getting in the way. He turned the baby over. "Eva, it's a boy." He could barely speak.

"God and Mary be praised, look at him," Annie said in awe. She was close enough to Liam to kiss his cheek. "He's beautiful, like his father."

"It's a boy?" Ellen said and moved from her mother to see the newborn. It seemed she was momentarily disappointed. Then she gazed at him. "But he is kind of sweet looking. He looks like Liisa."

Eva promptly delivered the afterbirth which Annie took care of in the folded sheet.

Ellen helped Liam wipe the newborn down. She even got to cut the umbilical cord. "Really, I can?"

"Just like the doctor would," Liam said smiling at her. Ellen wiped Liam's tears with her fingers then took the medical scissors from him and cut where he showed her.

"I did it!" she said.

"And brilliantly, I must say," Liam said proudly. "Now let's get yer baby brother weighed and then to his Mamma to eat. He'll be hungry from the journey he just took to get to us."

"Not only that. I hope he doesn't stay smushed like that." Ellen was concerned, yet still managed a wry comment. "Look at his head. It's pointy."

"Babies are soft so they can be birthed," Liam said, forcing himself not to laugh, yet not doing a very good job of it. "He'll regain his shape shortly." He gave Ellen her swaddled baby brother to hold.

"He's a big chunk," Ellen mused. "Monster boy."

"Let's see how much that monster boy weighs," Liam said.

He had brought a scale from St. John's just before Thanksgiving. It was sitting on the low dresser. He had Ellen gently place the baby on it.

"Jesus," Liam said. "He's ten pounds, two ounces. See how ye read the scale, Ellen?"

"Is that big, Da?"

"Oh, aye. Most newborns are five or six pounds, if they're healthy."

"What makes babies healthy?"

"When the mamma eats well, especially havin' vegetables and meats and all, milk too, the baby's more likely to be healthy at birth."

"He still seems small though, compared to Liisa and me."

Liam was always impressed at how Ellen would compare and contrast beyond what was in front of her.

~~~

As exhausted as Eva was, she found the conversation between Liam and Ellen precious. It was so far beyond the forced exchanges when they first met. Their interactions were quite natural now. Eva was also surprised at the weight of the son she just delivered. "I yust puss dat bik boy troo me? No vonder ..."

She remembered the brief embrace between her and Liam just before the baby was born. It helped her put the last several miserable days behind her. She was eager to start fresh. She could see it in Liam as well.

"I can feed him for lil vhile, den I like to clean up."

Liam took his swaddled son from the scale to Eva who put him to her breast. The newborn was hungry, making little "uff" sounds as he nursed. Eva spoke in sweet Finnish baby sounds and gazed intently at her son. Liam sat on the edge of the bed.

Eva looked up at Liam. "Vhat you tink 'bout?" she asked softly.

"It astounds me to see the first few minutes of a mother-child bond that will last an eternity," he responded. Tears began to well and spill over his eyelids.

As Eva put her hand on his knee to quiet him, Liam began to cry his heart out. She imagined he was letting out all the pent-up emotion that had built up in the last several months originating from the heart-piercing loss of Dolly and the fear that the same would happen to her.

"Annie," Eva said. "Liam and I like to name dis boy Conor, for you." As she spoke, Liam collected himself, wiping his face with his kerchief.

"That would be grand," Annie said, tears welling. "I'd like that very much."

"Then, Conor Michael, it is," Liam said proudly."

A short while later, Annie removed some of the more soiled linens and blankets to be taken to the wash. Then Eva saw her tap Ellen on the shoulder. "I'll make ye some hot chocolate. Let's leave them for a while. I think they're sayin' sorry to each other for the fightin'." Ellen smiled at Annie and picked up the basket of soiled bed clothes. They both headed for the door.

"Come back when ye're done with yer hot chocolate, Ellen," Liam said.

Eva smiled at her daughter. Ellen ran to her mother and kissed her, then followed Annie.

The cradle that had been shipped when Ed and Annie came west had been set up a few days before. It was on Eva's side of the bed. When the baby finished nursing, Liam put him into the cradle, covering the already tightly swaddled baby with a soft knit blanket. He gazed at his son. It was hard to believe he had created a son and a daughter. He lay down next to Eva, leaning on the now mercilessly flattened pillows.

"I think he and Liisa are goin' to be a set of matchin' bookends," Liam said, softened by the birth and survival of his wife and baby.

"I don't know vhat are bookends."

Liam chuckled. "I love ye so, Eva." He gazed at his wife and then smiled impishly. "Ye look like ye just went through a tornado." He smoothed the sweat-soaked hair out of her face as he gazed into her stellar blue eyes. "Ye've never looked more beautiful to me than ye do now."

"Dis time you see nottink bad like last time?"

"No, and I was glad for it."

Eva gave him her best smile considering she'd just given birth to a ten-pound boy. She was tired and sore and she wanted to be washed and dry in a clean flannel nightgown and bed. But first she wanted to touch Liam to reconnect with him. As he stretched out next to her she cuddled into him, feeling his warmth, his strong arms. She breathed his scent in deeply.

She stayed still in his arms for quite a while, and then said, "You make me angry."

"I know. I'm sorry." He held her just a little tighter and cuddled into her just a little more.

"I'm sordy I puss you 'vay, and I sordy not tellink you I vas in labor."

He squeezed her as if to say all's forgiven. "I'm curious," he said. "How long were ye in labor?"

"All day," she whispered.

She could feel him tense up then take a deep breath and let it out slowly. She also felt him cringe. "I von't do dat 'gain," she promised. She shifted in the bed so she could look into his eyes.

"Ye're a stubborn wee Finn, aren't you?"

"You are stubborn Irishman." She blinked a few tears away.

"Then aren't we a fine pair?"

"Yes. And I luff you, too."

Eva snuggled in and fell asleep in Liam's arms.

~~~

Two days later, Dr. Sean O'Neill helped Colleen Murphy Brady deliver a baby girl. The baby was only seven pounds compared to Conor's ten, but a very healthy girl. She was named Kathleen Bernadette Brady. After the birth, Sean told Liam he did not like the baby's father. He said the Brady creep was aloof and barely registered any joy at the birth of his first child.

"Ed and Annie were perplexed by his behavior," Sean said. "He showed little concern for Colleen. Ed was furious, but didn't let Colleen know."

"There's trouble brewin' there," Liam remarked. "I saw young Kari Pelto have eyes for Colleen at Thanksgivin'."

### Chapter 9

Liam was happy that all was well with mother and baby but at nearly two months, Conor Michael Dady decided he was going to keep everyone up nights. Ellen declared him officially "backwards." Annie was chief cook and bottle washer along with Sally, who was the only one of them who was getting decent sleep at her own home, except Liisa, who could sleep through thunderstorms and, Liam surmised humorously, through military artillery. Eva insisted Liam sleep in the spare bedroom so he could get a good night's sleep. She promised to wake him whenever the baby or she needed him.

Ellen was well so far, but influenza was going around the school and town. It wasn't influenza that hit Liisa a few days after her birthday. It was whooping cough. Pertussis, Liam called it. It was mild. But then Liam noticed symptoms of the influenza come on as well.

Ellen was allowed to stay home, for fear she would spread the germs from her sister to her classmates. Liam thought it would help slow the infection at school but the effort was to no avail. Many children and school staff flooded doctors' offices and some in the city's hospitals. Beds began to fill.

Once again, Eva and the baby had to stay away from another sick child.

Liam stayed home to tend to Liisa while the three other city doctors took care of the hospital and the community. There was a scant two doctors available in the town.

Liam would not let on to anyone that Liisa was dangerously ill. He was scared to death. She was his first child and so precious to him. He had not yet taken the rubber sheet used for Eva's birth back to the hospital so he rigged up a way to put snow and ice around Liisa at intervals to keep her high fever in check. It could be damaging if the fever stayed too high for too long. He'd heard of children going blind from high fevers that ended up damaging the optic nerve. Annie and Ed kept Liam in snow using buckets to bring it upstairs. It didn't take much. Liisa was small.

When Liisa needed a break from the snow Liam would hold her in the rocker. He sang softly to her interspersed with talking while he fed her _mehu_ from a baby bottle.

"My sweet Liisa, Pappa's taken' care of ye and ye're gettin' better every day. I want to take ye to play outside when the spring comes. I'll build swings and a see-saw. I'm goin' to take ye to yer first day of school, and I'll watch ye grow to be a beautiful girl. I'll say to ye, do what ye want. Fly like a birdy. Spread yer wings, but ye come back and see me from time to time, 'cause yer Pappa can't have ye gone too long."

As Liam held her, he cried.

Four days after her symptoms showed, the fever broke. Liam scooped her up gently and wept one more time. His tears dotted her face and woke her. It was the first time in days she spoke to him.

"Pappa. Wuv you," she said in a terribly weak voice. She was soaked with sweat.

"Pappa loves Liisa."

He washed and changed her. Then he changed her trundle. Before he put her to bed, he fed her _mehu_. He needed to continue her rehydration.

When Eva was able to hold Liisa for the first time since she'd gotten sick, Eva broke down. There was great relief in the big house on Catholic Hill.

At the O'Neill's, Alice had caught the influenza. She recovered to everyone's immense relief. Sean the elder had told Liam, "I knew she was stayin' around for a while. She has important things to do yet before she goes. And she happens to be Daddy's little girl, as they say in America."

"I never told Eva, or anyone for that matter, that Liisa came close, too."

"Jesus Christ, Liam."

~~~

When the flu and whooping cough were conquered at the Dady house, Liam took a few days off, He slept for nearly twenty-nine hours. Eva woke him at intervals to eat and drink and use the bathroom. When he finally woke up, he went to the kitchen in his pajamas surprising everyone there. He ate copious amounts of breakfast fare in an attempt to catch up on the food he hadn't been able to eat while tending to his sick child.

~~~

Liam noticed Eva had been feeling amorous lately.

"Liam," she announced after climbing into bed, "it now tree monts from Conor birt. I vant you."

"Are ye sure? There's no soreness anymore? No bleedin'? Do ye feel strong enough?"

"Yes, to everytink."

"Do ye mean 'no' to the bleedin'? Ye did give birth to a locomotive, if ye remember."

"Yes! See-yut up, get you penis ready."

He laughed. He climbed on top and nestled in between her legs.

After making love, he made a comment as to her slightly altered anatomy. "Ye feel stretched out a bit more than the last time. Ye're not as snug." He thought that was hilarious and erupted into silent giggles.

Eva punched him in the arm. "You giff birt next time," she said, challenging him.

"Ye know that can never happen. But I would if I could take the pain from ye." He scooped her close to his side encouraging her to snuggle closer and gave her a passionate kiss.

"I am not too tired yet," she whispered enticing Liam to come to her again.

He rolled to her. His pelvis touched hers. He kissed her once more and felt himself stiffen. He hadn't made love to her for the last month of her late pregnancy with a too-big baby and then for a few more months in recovery. Now he was burning for her.

He didn't want to be gentle this time. He wanted to take her. Own her. She was his. He once imagined what he would have done if Victor had been alive and Eva had chosen Liam over her then husband. There very well could have been a fight. There was no doubt who would have been the victor, no pun intended, but it would have been Eva's ultimate choice. He was sad that Victor had passed but his path to Eva would have been more complicated if he had lived.

The thought of fighting for Eva made him push her flat on her back. He nudged her knees wide and entered her roughly. He heard her moan at the abrupt intrusion. He felt her spread wider to let him in deeper. His breathing was ragged and rough and he got noisy as he thrust and rocked, his hip bones colliding with hers. He felt her legs wrap around his grinding buttocks. Her hands and nails softly gouged his back. He bit her on her shoulder as he climaxed, muffling his feral yell. He kept going until her climax wracked her and she thrashed and bucked underneath him.

"God almighty I've missed ye so," he said. He was still gasping for air, still half on her. "I love ye more than anythin'. Do ye know that?"

"I am you voman?"

Even though it was probably ten below zero outside they had worked themselves into a sweaty frenzy in the well heated house.

"Oh, aye, ye're mine," he answered.

He lay limp and blissful with his face in her neck. He felt her shiver. He shifted and pulled the quilt over her to protect her from the intruding elements keeping her safe. He realized she had thrice survived giving birth.

He breathed deep in relief, and fell asleep.

~~~

In the frosty early morning Liam dreamed of Dolly. She came to him. They were on the deck of the ocean liner. It was sunny and warm. She was dressed in her wedding gown, the veil flowed in the soft breeze. She spoke clearly to him in her soft, sweet voice.

"I chose to go when I did, Liam. It was that or dyin' in childbirth. Our long life together was not meant to be. But with my deep love for ye, I have come to ye once again. Liisa has me inside her. Eva is always going to be fine when she's havin' a baby. She'll be fine, Liam. She's strong..."

Liam woke and sat up abruptly. He could have sworn the dream was real. He looked around his bedroom.

"Vhat happen, Liam?" Eva was in bed next to him.

He turned in the direction of her voice. "Did I wake ye?"

"No. I yust put Conor back to bed. I feed him and change him. You look like you see a ghost."

"I did." He lay back down making sure he had some sort of physical contact with Eva. He grabbed her hand. He shivered.

It was Eva's turn to cover him. Her arm draped over him along with the quilt.

"I just dreamed about Dolly," he said. "She came to me and said her spirit was in Liisa and that you would always be fine giving birth. You're strong."

"Dat's nice sees come to visit you. Remember yust before ve married, Victor come to me. He give me to you."

Liam lay silent in contemplation. He didn't know how to feel—peaceful or disturbed. "She said she would've died in childbirth if she hadn't chosen to die on the ship." He moved closer to Eva. He felt safe with her. Suddenly, though, he left the bed and went out into the hall.

~~~

Eva thought Liam was still mixed up, and quietly went after him. The hallway was chilly in her robe, as she had nothing under it.

The girls' bedroom door was open. Eva peeked in to find Liam standing over Liisa's trundle bed. He picked up her sleeping body and cradled her against his heart.

Eva walked over and put her arms around him. Her thought was that losing Dolly was still raw for him. He had told her he could go for long periods of time without thinking about it. The same was true for her with Victor.

"Pappa, doin'?" a sleepy toddler voice asked.

"I love ye so much, I wanted to hold ye, Liisa."

"You take cawe me," Liisa pushed off Liam's shoulder to look at him. She put her hand on his cheek. "I not sick."

"No ye're not, ye're all better."

"Wanna pway?"

"Let's go downstairs and play, it's very early."

"Go! Pappa!" Liisa wriggled to get down. Liam moved quickly to get her out of the room so Ellen would stay asleep for a while longer before getting up for school.

Eva went to Liisa's dresser and got a diaper and fresh clothes for Liisa. She gave the things to Liam in the hall, tucking it under his arm. Eva unlocked the gate and let them through. She watched the precious father-daughter duo chat as they descended the stairs and went into the parlor. As Liam slid the parlor doors shut Eva heard a squeal of delight out of Liisa. Liam probably put her down. Eva smiled and headed back to bed. She could doze until Conor woke in need of a more substantial breakfast.

She lay thinking about Liam's dream, which apparently disturbed him. He had come a long way since he first began to let Dolly's death and the grieving come to the surface. Eva's pregnancies brought everything back though, causing him to be crazy with worry about her and the stairs. The consequence of his fears was conflict between them.

She remembered his words of love and devotion in the heat of passion a few short hours before. What else was going on?

Her fears suddenly came rushing back about infidelity. She felt a sudden lack of confidence, of not feeling good enough.

_But he tells me he loves me,_ she thought. _Victor did that. I knew Victor meant it, too, just like Liam means it. Victor still had sex with other women. How do I know Liam is not?_

She got up from bed abruptly and put on her nightgown, robe, and slipper socks. She headed downstairs. Conor, who was sound asleep, would be fine for a while. Eva came into the parlor and closed the doors. Liam and Liisa were just finishing getting Liisa dressed.

"Mamma! Pway!"

Eva could only pierce Liam with a gaze that seemed to alarm him.

"What is it, sweetheart?" he said.

"Am I you only sveetheart, Liam?" Her stomach felt like it had a ball of ice lying at the bottom. "Victor alvays say 'I luff you' to me."

"Ah, Christ, Eva. Yes. You are my only sweetheart. May God strike me dead if I'm lyin' to ye." He stood and went to her. "It's the dream, isn't it? I had a moment in which I grieved Dolly." He held her fast. "I'm faithful to ye Eva. I always will be. I know when somethin' is grand in my life and I'm not daft enough to throw it away. I'm so happy with you and our children, it makes my heart fill with joy."

Eva put her face into his flannel pajama top and cried. "I belief you, Liam."

~~~

As Liam held her he realized that what grieved Eva the most wasn't so much Victor's death, but his infidelity. She had held so much trust in Victor's love for her that his betrayal made Eva nearly give up on life.

As they held each other now, Liam felt a little hand on the back of his knees. Looking down, he saw a knee-high, black-curled pixie smiling up at them.

"Up!" Liisa chirped like a little bird, her baby teeth showing in a wide grin.

Liam hoisted her into his arms.

"Mamma ... no cwy. Pappa take ... cawe you. Aww bedder."

Liisa said a profound thing to Eva in her two-word spurts, which made her cry even more.

Liam was equally as stunned. "How's that for ye, darlin'? Through a two-year-old."

Eva laughed, which came out as more of a sob. Liisa leaned in for Eva to take her and wrapped her arms around Eva's neck.

"Wuff Mamma."

Liam added, "Pappa wuff Mamma, too."

### Chapter 10

Spring came slowly in April. But the longer days and sunshine made life new again after the long winter.

One morning at the kitchen table, while Eva fed Conor his cereal, Annie and Ed were busy planning a possible purchase of an available storefront down on Main Street. It could be made into a diner or restaurant of sorts, or perhaps a drug store with a lunch counter and some booths.

"What do you think about the drug store, Eva?" Annie asked.

"I don't know. Vhat you like to do?"

"The problem is neither Annie nor I know how to dispense medicines," Ed said. So they nixed the idea of the drug store and decided on a small Irish restaurant. It's what they knew.

"It's time to get out from under foot here," Ed said.

"You are not bodder here," Eva said. "I am glad you stay vit us."

"I'm very glad we are here, too. Ye've kept us warm and safe this winter, you and Liam. But it's time for Annie and me to decide what we are to do on our own." He put his hand on Eva's arm.

"Vell den, don't go far," Eva said with a smile and affectionately placed her hand on Ed's.

"I don't think we will. I think this storefront may work as a restaurant. It's right on Main Street with all that foot traffic. Shall we make a go of it, Annie girl?"

"I'm all for it," Annie answered.

"I think it's time to talk to the banker and the seller of the store," Ed said, folding up the papers he and Annie were writing on.

"Do ye want me to come, Ed?" Annie asked.

"If ye want, or do ye have somethin' else in mind?"

"Liam had asked Eva and me if we wanted to come to the hospital to see where he works. Eva's been a few times, but he thought today might be a good day to go again. The head administrator is gone until tomorrow. We're going at dinner time."

"Well, by all means, do what ye'd like. I'll be fine. I'm very happy with the prospect," Ed said. He was off to their room to get ready. Eva saw Ed give Annie a little wink as he walked past her. Annie quickly followed smiling at Eva. Eva got the inference and smiled back as Annie left the kitchen with a little anticipatory hop in her step.

~~~

Just before noon Annie and Eva left for the hospital to see Liam. Conor and Liisa were riding along in the pram. The slate sidewalks were clear and dry of snow. The sun had been shining for the last several days as the end of April temperatures moderated. There were rivulets of water flowing into the unpaved street from melting snow. There was still a bit of a cold breeze, however, reddening everyone's nose and cheeks. The day was brisk and stimulating.

When they arrived at the hospital the receptionist, Lucy, was sitting at her desk in the lobby. Early on, Liam told Eva that Lucy had the ire of the nursing staff. Gossip ripped through the hospital about her attempts at enticing Drs. Dady, O'Neill, and Johnson—and who knows who else—into extramarital activities. Liam had told Eva that the only one to nibble at the bait, as far as he knew, had been Johnson, the head of the hospital.

"I suppose he was flattered with the attention at his age," Liam had speculated as he talked to Eva in those early weeks of arriving in Helena.

Liam had let Eva know that he had been polite but curt and standoffish. Elder Sean had been downright mean to get her to back off. The stories of her had been mixed. Some had it that Lucy was married and separated, or divorced, or even happily married but insatiable sexually.

"It's a shame," Liam had said about Lucy's affair with Dr. Johnson. "Johnson's wife is such a nice lady. Her family has a lot of money. Her father and uncle were in the mining administration."

Eva had felt immense empathy for Mrs. Johnson. She had let the subject go after the discussion with Liam and she hadn't thought about it since.

Now, as Eva quietly informed Annie of Lucy and her "activities," she looked up to see Lucy standing in the big front windows. "Sees vattsink," Eva said with irritation.

"Don't have one worry, Eva."

"Liam say sees ... I don't know vord. Sees keep tryink and tryink."

"Persistent?"

"Somptink like dat."

Eva and Annie maneuvered the pram deftly through the double windowed wooden doors, laughing at Liisa who was singing a Finnish song that Eva had taught her.

"Ye're such a clever wee girl," Annie cooed, as they walked in and started through the lobby.

Since Eva had been there before and knew where Liam's office was, she purposefully ignored Lucy.

But Lucy piped up with indignation in her voice, "Excuse me, ladies. How may I help you?"

"Ve don't need help," Eva said as politely as she could. "I know vhere my husband office is. Tank you."

Lucy gave them a black look. Eva chose to ignore it and kept on walking.

Liam came out of his office to greet them. He kissed his wife briefly and also pecked Annie on the cheek. "Welcome, my girls, and Liisa, my sweet," he said. He picked up his daughter. She squealed in delight at seeing her father. "Conor, my wee man," Liam said affectionately.

All this in front of Lucy, Eva noted. If looks could kill, Lucy would have her dead in the hall.

"Come in, Sean's here," Liam said cordially. He put Liisa down and pulled his son out of the pram.

Annie stepped into the office. Liam put his hand on Eva's arm and looked at her with mild concern. "What's that look on yer face," he whispered. His back was to Lucy.

Eva whispered back, "I don't like her. Sees vant you."

"We'll talk when we get home. Ye're worryin' about nothin'," Liam insisted. "Will ye let it go for now, while we visit?" He leaned in and kissed her.

"Yes, I can."

"Aye, ye _will,"_ he corrected.

"Dat's vhat I say. I don't say 'aye.'"

"Never mind."

They both walked into the office. Eva felt safer out of Lucy's vicious gaze. The conversation became pleasant and jovial.

~~~

As Liam's family settled into his office, Liam held Conor. Liisa, on the other hand, was loose and exuberant. Suddenly, the wound-up toddler busted out of the room and made her way to the hall. She was standing in front of a nearby hall closet with its door open before Liam caught up to her. Liam looked into the closet.

Lucy was standing in the closet. "What do ye think yer doin' in there?" Liam asked, his eyes locked on her knowing she could eavesdrop on them from there. "I don't think ye're in here decidin' what mop to use."

Lucy said nothing, managing a look of affront. Her face flushed furiously as she walked past Liam and back to her desk.

Liam took Liisa's hand, giving Lucy a you'd-better-think-twice-before-doing-that-again look as she glanced at him from her seat. He shut the closet door, turned around, and walked back to his office.

After Eva and Annie left with the children, Liam called Lucy into his office. Sean chose to remain.

"Do ye know what ye did, listenin' in, is strong grounds for employment termination?"

Standing erect with a look of offense, Lucy attempted to stand her ground. "Dr. Johnson won't fire me."

"Are ye so sure, Lucy?" Sean piped in belligerently. "I've heard that Mrs. Johnson has threatened him with divorce and loss of usage of her hearty income. He likes his money more than you."

"I wouldn't talk, Dr. O'Neill—" Lucy started, but stopped.

Liam glanced at Sean and watched his face flush with fury and his eyes strain with something else. Liam didn't know what.

Lucy started to speak again, but Liam interrupted her. "If ye want yer job here, Lucy," he said, "fine. Start behaving a little more professionally. We can always recommend ye for another job elsewhere if need be."

Lucy gazed at Liam. Her demeanor towards him changed subtly. She gave him a softer, kinder expression, compared to the one she'd turned on Sean.

Sean ended the meeting abruptly. "Ye're dismissed now," he said.

Lucy made no further eye contact with Sean but Liam noticed her face changed back to abject vitriol with the tone of the dismissal.

Liam watched from the doorway as Lucy made her way back to the front desk in the lobby and sat down. He turned back to Sean.

"What was she inferrin' to, Sean?"

"Don't fuckin' ask, Liam," Sean half warned, half begged.

Liam looked at him in questioning disgust.

"It happened once. I told her no more, and she's hated me ever since."

"Jesus, Sean."

"It happened before ye came. She's been messin' with Johnson ever since. I've had to keep quiet so she won't rat me to the board—or to Molly."

~~~

A week later, Liam and Dr. Johnson were in the head administrator's office discussing a patient's diagnosis and treatment, when they heard a woman scream out in the hallway. They rushed out of Johnson's office to see Lucy Jeffries with her suit jacket off revealing a ripped blouse with a camisole-covered breast exposed. Liam saw Sean paralyzed in the doorway, a stupefied look on his face. Others in the hospital were filtering into the first-floor hall to see what the ruckus was about.

To Liam, Lucy tried to be convincing. "Dr. O'Neill tried to ... rape me," she said. She breathed heavily, pointing a finger at Sean.

"Ye're full o' shite, woman!" Sean said. "Ye walked into the office, took yer coat off, and yer blouse was already ripped."

Johnson started to take Lucy's side as any gentleman from his generation would. "You may want to consider leaving here, Sean," Johnson said. "If this goes public, I mean."

"I'll do no such thing! I didn't lay a hand on her, although that's what she's all about." He glared at her. "Aren't ye? Ye wee vixen, sinkin' yer teeth into anythin' that has a weddin' ring and a member danglin' between his legs."

Liam watched as Lucy gave a look of disgust and horror at O'Neill's harsh words. "Dr. Johnson, are you going to let him talk to me that way? After all, Sean—"

"Lucy!" Liam snapped.

Dr. Johnson stuttered nervously, a look of exasperation on his face now.

"Wayne, allow me to speak to Sean privately," Liam said. "Then perhaps Lucy, and then you. I may know what's amiss here, but I need to know all sides. Do ye mind?"

"Why no, Liam, I don't mind. I want to know, too, before I impulsively fire good doctors. A replacement physician would be months down the road."

Liam sensed Lucy was losing her grip on the situation.

"But he ... he ... how dare you all? He can't get away with this. Wayne—Dr. Johnson— I demand you do something!"

She stamped her foot.

"Just hold your ponies, Miss—or Mrs.—Jefferies," Dr. Johnson snapped.

Liam saw a look in Dr. Johnson's eye that spoke volumes. This was certainly the end of his dalliance with the otherwise promiscuous young Miss Jefferies.

"Lucy," Johnson said in a courteous voice, "go to the dining hall and have a cup of tea. Someone will be with you shortly."

As Lucy put her jacket on and walked away, Liam took Sean into their office. They stood in the middle of the small space, face to face.

"Christ, Liam, I was at my desk writin' my report on my last patient, and she burst in and flung her jacket off. The blouse was already ripped and then she screamed and accused me of trying to rape her."

"I want to be absolutely certain, Sean. I know how ye hate her. Ye didn't just rip it because she tried to have her way with ye again?"

"I swear on my sweet mother's grave. Yes, the woman vexes me, but I wouldn't touch her with my hands again. I learned my lesson. She's unctuous."

Liam, surprised at Sean's vocabulary, said, "Where'd ye learn that word?" Liam tried to stop his smile from erupting. He made it half way.

Sean smiled back. "I really don't remember. I think me Mam called me that once after she slapped me when she heard me say somethin' unctuous about twenty-two-year old Sadie O'Toole and her breasts. I wouldn't have called my comment that, however. Her breasts were heavenly. God blessed her with quite a pair. I thought I was makin' a divine statement. I was sixteen at the time and had many fantasies thinkin' about them."

"Christ, Sean. Ye might want to shut yer hole," Liam said, trying not to laugh, but finding Sean impish. "This is not the appropriate situation for talkin' about someone's heavenly breasts and havin' fantasies, ye wee eejit."

Sean's face grew serious. "All I can say is, I'm tellin' the God's honest truth here, Liam."

Liam believed him. "I'll talk to Johnson. Stay here for the moment."

In Johnson's office, Liam tried to convince his boss that it was time to let Lucy go. "Do ye not hear the gossip 'round the hospital about her, Wayne?" He hesitated for a few moments, and then continued gingerly. "Ye've had troubles with yer own wife concernin' her as well. And now she's tryin' to ruin Sean because he spoke harshly to her, sick of her flirtin'." Liam was altering his story for his friend, feeling uncomfortable doing so.

"But where's she going to go?" Dr. Johnson said. It seemed as though he still wanted to protect her—or maybe protect himself from her retaliations.

"I'm sure we can help her find something," Liam said. "And you can give her a good recommendation and a good severance package that will keep her for a couple months while she searches for a new position. Call 'round, try the next towns over. Help her resettle. She just can't stay here. I didn't tell ye this, but I caught her eavesdroppin' on our office in the closet next door just over a week ago. I think this was payback for warning her she better change her ways. But it was me who admonished her. Yet she chose Sean to mess with. I sense somethin' the matter with her, and it could be escalatin'."

"All right, Liam, but _I_ can't be the one to do it. You'll have to. I'm afraid of retribution." Johnson looked at Liam.

Liam thought Johnson had no backbone, but he said, "I'll do it. She's in the dinin' hall, ye say?" Liam decided to be firm but gentle with her and to keep it as private as possible for her sake. He just wanted it to be done with.

He descended the stairs to the ground floor and walked toward the dining hall. He was pissed off that he was in this position. _Why can't married men keep their fuckin' cocks in their trousers when it's not their wife? Jesus Christ._ He turned the corner and walked into the small dining room. He spotted Lucy sitting in the far corner alone, sipping tea. She still looked angry, and her back stiffened when he sat down across from her at the table.

"Would you have some tea with me, Liam?" she asked. She had a cup and saucer ready and was poised to pour from a teapot at the table.

He ignored her invitation. "What's this about then, Lucy?"

"Dr. O'Neill attacked me. We'd had sex a few times, but I want you to believe it didn't mean a thing to me." She gave him a coy look. "Not like it would with you."

Liam thought it odd that she brought him into the equation. She stared at him adoringly.

"I hope ye don't think anyone believes he attacked ye today." He spoke softly so no one would hear, respecting her privacy. He hoped she would understand that, but something in her face ... her eyes to be exact. It was as though she was in her own world. She reached down and picked up what he thought was her teaspoon, but it wasn't. It was a scalpel. He hadn't seen it when he sat down. _Where did she get that?_ he wondered as the hackles on his neck prickled.

Thinking quickly, he said, "Why don't I get us some cake to go with tea?"

He walked to the dessert table and picked out two pieces of cake. As he paid, he whispered to the lunch staffer, "Get Dr. O' Neill and tell him to bring a couple of orderlies. A woman has a scalpel and is acting unpredictably. Tell him to hurry."

"That's Miss Jefferies," he whispered back.

"Go now," Liam gave him an authoritative glare.

Taking two kinds of cake back to the table, Liam put his gentle and caring face back on for Lucy Jefferies. This was no longer a flirtatious woman. She was ill. "There, sweetheart," he said soothingly as he sat back down. She still held the scalpel but she looked at him adoringly. "Would ye like the chocolate or the white?"

"You choose first, my love."

Liam proceeded to play the part she wanted him to play until someone could come to take her away.

"I'm choosing white, because I know you like chocolate, Lucy. I've seen ye eat it before. I know you very well."

She smiled at his words and began to take little bites of the proffered chocolate cake with her fork in one hand, still holding the scalpel in the other. "It is my favorite. Thank you, Liam. I've always known you to be a gentleman." Her eyes suddenly changed to dark hatred, "but not that horrid man Sean O'Neill." She put her fork down on the table. "He never had cause to treat me so badly. I gave myself to him. I thought he loved me and then he treated me with scorn."

"I'm sorry, Lucy. It was unfair of him." He meant that.

She slammed her hand down on the table.

_She's absolutely gone,_ Liam thought, keeping his eye on the scalpel in her hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sean O'Neill and two male orderlies approaching. He held out his hand where she couldn't see it, to hold them off. Then he made a circular motion with his finger for them to approach from Lucy's rear. He reached his other hand out to take the one she had just slammed down, distracting her from his hand signals.

"Ye were treated badly, and I'm sorry for that, Lucy. Ye didn't deserve it. But now we're eatin' our cake together just like ye hoped. Let's enjoy it." He smiled.

Out of the corner of his eye Liam watched Sean and the two men circle around behind Lucy.

"I want something different now, Liam." Her gaze went right through him now.

"What's that?" He was still speaking softly and kindly. The orderlies were now about ten feet behind Lucy.

"I want to leave now, and I want you to come with me."

With swift, exaggerated movements, Lucy stood and lunged at Liam with the scalpel, her eyes intent on his throat. With a much quicker reaction, Liam caught her wrist forcefully in mid-swing, jarring her. She screamed, apparently angry that her mission was thwarted. The orderlies grabbed her by the arms. She screamed again and began to thrash and wail. Liam scrambled away. The scalpel fell safely to the floor.

"Jesus Christ," Liam murmured, breathless in shock at nearly having his throat slashed.

"Let me die!" Lucy emitted a primal scream, struggling violently in the grasp of the orderlies who were escorting her away. She turned her head to look at Liam to plead with him. "Tell them let me go, Liam. I just want to die!"

Liam gave her an empathetic look but decided not to speak to her again. Sean followed the orderlies with Lucy Jefferies firmly in their grip.

~~~

A short time after Lucy was secure and sedated, Liam sat in Dr. Johnson's office sipping a cup of chamomile tea.

"I'm so sorry, Liam. None of us saw this coming. I'm grateful to you for how you handled ... her. It was a testament to your expertise as a doctor and humanitarian. I'm ... proud to have you at this hospital."

"Thank you, Wayne." Liam thought Johnson was being a bit histrionic and overly apologetic. "I'm just glad no one was hurt. Her behavior was due to a mental illness. Not a character flaw."

"I agree. And I'm ashamed I took advantage ..."

They all knew what was to become of Lucy Jefferies. She would be shipped to the nearest mental facility, none of them very nice places. They would choose wisely, no matter what the cost. Johnson knew of a hospice for women near San Francisco run by an order of Catholic nuns who would possibly take her. Johnson would wire them before the day was through. He knew they had a locked ward.

Wayne Johnson seemed haggard and worn. "As of the end of the month, I'm resigning my post," he said. "I'm recommending to the board that you have the head administrator position. I've done this for nearly forty years, and I'm ready to retire." He further explained that he decided to avoid a hassle with the St. Johns Board of Directors. They were not going to be happy with the scandal of his affair with an employee who turned out to be psychotic.

"I'm grateful ye think so highly of me, Wayne. I won't accept the position, though. O'Neill has seniority over me. He's more than capable to handle the position. I won't have it any other way."

"I'll not argue with you then. O'Neill is very qualified." Dr. Johnson heaved a great sigh.

Liam stood and left Johnson's office. When he arrived at his own office, Sean was there. He was sitting in his chair in a state of agitation. He stood abruptly when Liam walked in.

"Are ye all right, Liam? None of us knew. I feel awful that I was not very nice to her. Guilty, more like it. It was me who pushed her over the edge. I'm just surprised she didn't go after me. I feel guilty for that, too." Sean was talking fast without taking a breath. "She was mentally ill ..."

Liam put his hand on Sean's shoulder, and it stopped Sean's nervous chattering. "It's over, Sean. I'm all right. Come with me for a few minutes to help explain to Eva. I want you to tell it, and Sally can interpret the complexity to Eva in Finnish. Can ye do that for me? Then we'll call things even if ye think ye owe me."

Sally did as best she could to explain the psychotic episode of Lucy Jefferies as told to her by Sean. Eva cried as Liam's near fatal attack was described provoking memories of Eino's attack on her in Minnesota. As they all sat in the parlor, she clung protectively to Liam on the sofa as the story was grimly told.

"Vhere sees now?" Eva asked, pulling her hankie out of her sleeve to blow her nose. Liam brought his out to wipe her tears. She looked into his eyes frightened at the whole story.

"She's in a locked room, heavily sedated," Sean said. "In a day or two she will be transported to a Catholic Hospice for women in San Francisco. It turns out she has no family in the area and no one at the hospital knows of family elsewhere." Sean stood up. "All's well," he said. He reached out to take Eva's hand. She took it. He squeezed it. He nodded to Liam and then left to return to the hospital.

"I'll watch these two," Annie said, referring to the babies, "while you two go upstairs for a while. You both need soothing from each other in privacy."

~~~

Liam walked into the bedroom and took a deep breath of relief. He sat down in the plush rocking chair feeling like a ragdoll—emotionally drained.

Eva, on the other hand, stripped naked and climbed onto the bed and implored him with blazing sapphire eyes that Liam do the same.

"Eva, I'm sorry, darlin', but I'm not in that kind of mood."

Angry, she said, "I take you back now. Sees took you from me even yust in sees' mind. I take you back from her."

He looked at her, nonplussed. "But she didn't really take me from you."

She implored him again. "Liam, I take you back," she said emphatically.

He came to her with no other argument. She would take him back to settle it in her own mind.

She gave him everything he always wanted and loved from her: her breasts, stimulated to release milk by his tongue; her wetness when he made love to her, warm and sticky, smelling sweet. She obliged him orally, taking his testicles fully in her mouth, driving him mad with need to release. She seemed to want him to come to her again and again, and willingly he did.

They didn't make it to supper and came downstairs very late, after they had checked in with the children.

Annie or Sally had left two plates of roast chicken, potatoes, and canned corn from the store. Both Eva and Liam were famished after having missed lunch. They sat side by side, chairs against each other, huddled as though each was protecting the other.

"Are you back to me yet?" Eva asked, finishing her glass of milk.

"I never left ye, Eva." Liam pressed into her shoulder with his and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I understand what ye thought ye had to do ... with me." He was trying to sound appreciative, which he was. "Ye surprised me with the testicles in yer mouth... thing ... and I hope ye do that again, someday. But darlin'—"

"Nobody gonna tink you are free to take 'vay."

"She wasn't normal, Eva. Like Eino." He looked into her eyes. "Tell me somethin'. Did ye feel like ye got yer power from defeatin' her by using yer feminine wiles on me, to bring me back to ye?"

"I had to show I can keep you."

"If ye think ye have to manipulate me to keep me, then I have all the power. And you believe any woman has the power, and you have to trick me to stay. It's not power, Eva. It's desperation."

"Vhat despir—"

"Doin' anythin' because ye're afraid."

Eva seemed dejected. He put his arms around her.

"Den, vhat I do, Liam?"

"You, my sweet love, must believe in your heart and soul that you deserve to have a happy marriage, a love with _only_ me. You must know you are good enough to have that, that _you_ are _truly_ my _only_ one." He was stressing the words to make them sound powerful. "I can say it a thousand times to ye, but it's up to you to _know_ it. Perhaps another way to say it is that your power lies in what you _know_ to be true."

They sat for a while in each other's arms. Then Liam had an idea. "Do ye know it to be true that I love and want only you?"

"Yes, I do." She let him kiss her fervently.

Many minutes passed as they sat re-connecting emotionally.

Finally, he spoke. "I noticed that upstairs this afternoon in bed I was havin' all the orgasms. You didn't have one."

She studied his face, puzzled.

"Why don't we go back up now, and I'll give you a few?" He watched her face color.

~~~

After her third orgasm, Liam laid his head on Eva's inner thigh. "What is it that ye know to be true?"

"Dat you luff me, all by myself."

"That's one way to put it. I get what ye mean, though." Liam laughed at her sometimes hilarious way of speaking American. He shifted to lie next to her.

She put his fingers on her erect nipple and moved it round and round.

He rolled on top of her. "Do ye want to go for four?"

~~~

Eva squirmed underneath him, happily spreading her legs. She felt happy and in love with Liam Dady. It was stronger than ever. His words of love were beginning to resonate in her soul. She moaned, wrapping her legs around his bum, letting him deep inside.

"Umm, you my sexy man."

### Chapter 11

That spring, Liam started to take shooting lessons from Jake Russell, armed cabbie and ex-cowboy. Ed Murphy had heard from customers at his restaurant that McKay and the fights were more than likely to come back, specifically on the Fourth of July.

Liam was impressed and amused that Jake had seen it all in the earlier days of westward expansion. The cabbie had wild stories to tell of his youth in Texas and Montana.

"I drove cattle in my teens and twenties," Jake said in a sort of western twang. "They were some of the last drives with the railroad takin' the cattle to the slaughterhouses in the Midwest. There were plenty of hot dry days and cold wet nights. There was an incident where we were chased out o' town. Abilene, Kansas, I remember. One o' the cowmen in my outfit had cheated in a card game and you can guess the rest."

Liam smiled. "Even in Ireland we got the stories. I grew up readin' 'em and dreamin' of the prairie."

"It's tame here compared to even twenty years ago but people still think it's fittin' to have a gun fight in the streets now and agin," Jake said. He was dressed in a wrinkled white cotton shirt and faded dungarees. Liam laughed to himself when recalling Ellen's comment that she thought his moustache could sprout legs and crawl away at any time. He had on the same Stetson as when Liam first met him nearly a year ago. For the first time Liam also saw Jake Russell's slightly bowed legs, no doubt from driving cattle and long hours on a horse.

Jake had brought Liam to his property on the far west edge of town. Liam had just watched Jake pick off seven rusty cans from a fence rail.

"I'm not interested in becoming a gun slinger," Liam said. "I just want to learn to handle and shoot. And I want ye to recommend a pistol to have."

"Why would a doctor want to learn how to shoot a gun? And don't tell me ye wanna go huntin' elk. This ain't a gun for elk."

"Remember when I first met ye? You mentioned Sheridan McKay."

"No shit, you know the bastard?" Jake asked, wide-eyed. "How the hell do ye know 'im?"

"It's a long story and I'll cut to the chase. I was a fighter the first years I was in America. I worked in his scheme riggin' fights. I lost a fight I should've won and he's out fer me. I ran from St. Louis all the way to Northern Minnesota to hide. That's where I met my wife. McKay caught up with me in Minnesota just before we arrived here. He almost got me. That's why we're here in Helena."

"Ye don't figger you can run agin so ye learn how to shoot to git him before he gits you." Jake handed Liam the pistol pointing the handle at him.

"That's about it." Liam took the proffered pistol, a Colt six-shooter, and aimed at the far left can of five on the fence. It was going to be the first shot he ever took in his life.

"Now, don't jerk yer finger. Just squeeze gennle-like," Jake said softly.

Liam squeezed gently. The sound reverberated up his arm and made his ears ring. The kick of the pistol didn't bother him all that greatly. The weather-worn can he aimed at flew from the fence, leaving a momentary pouf of brown-red rust.

"Christ, I hit it," Liam murmured in mild surprise. "It's not so bad, the feel of it."

"Not bad, Doc. Not bad at all. Ye have a natural talent. Ye can't be afraid if ye're gonna use a firearm. I don't sense fear in ye." Jake seemed pleased with his student, smiling behind that top lip of furry facial hair. "Now go fer the rest, slowly."

Liam got the remaining four in seven shots. Jake showed Liam how to reload.

"Well, I wasn't too bad for the first time," Liam declared.

"That's what I said to the whore I lost my virginity to," Jake mused. His shoulders shook in a silent laugh. "Then she laughed and showed me a thing or two I ain't seen yet at sixteen."

Liam laughed at Jake's self-amusing, unabashed statement. He knew Jake had no idea how similar his life was to his, in the loss-of-virginity realm.

"One more round of shots, Jake. Then I need to get back to my errands and home. Saturday is _sauna_ day."

"I heard o' them steam baths."

"Why don't ye come by with a clean change of garments and have one. Come at four and we'll feed ye, too. It'll be in lieu of yer Saturday night bath."

"Don't mind if I do. Thanks, Doc."

Liam told Jake where they lived and then reloaded the Colt. He fired away at the bullet-damaged cans. Liam saw McKay's face on every one of them, then proceeded to hit each face in a single shot.

~~~

When Liam arrived home with dry goods and sewing items, Eva smelled the gun powder on him right away.

"Are you learnink to see-oot?"

Liam would not lie to Eva. She had had enough of that in her life. "Aye," he said. "Jake Russell is my instructor. And he's coming for _sauna_ at four."

"Good, I make somptink nice for supper."

Ellen, carrying her brother, came into the kitchen. Liisa toddled behind.

"Who's coming for supper?" Ellen asked.

Conor started to fuss when he saw his Mamma. Ellen handed him over. Eva opened her blouse to feed him. At five months he was closer to the size of a twelve-month-old.

"Mr. Russell. Remember the cabbie with the big moustache?" Liam asked.

Liisa tugged on Liam's trouser leg, and Liam picked her up. He blew a raspberry on her neck that made her titter.

"Yes, I remember Jake Russell," Ellen said. "He was amazing."

"Ellen," Eva said. "It nice day. Liisa vant to play in a svink. You take her."

"Yes, Mamma. Come Liisa, let's play outside."

When Liisa and Ellen were on the other side of the door, Eva asked Liam what he was doing. "I don't understand you vit gun. I know it not huntink."

"The McKay troubles are not over. I feel helpless and I asked Jake Russell to help me. McKay is goin' to be able to come back to Helena this summer. Ed's heard rumors it's this July Fourth. I just want to do ... somethin'..."

"I can't say any tink. You do vhat you vant to help you. I don't know vhat else you can do." Eva switched Conor to the other breast leaving herself half exposed to Liam's gaze.

"Where's Sally?" he asked raising his eye brows.

"I know vhat you vant," said Eva. She smiled at his blatant staring. "Too bad you are not baby."

"Was it that obvious?" Liam laughed. "I'll get mine later, after dark."

"You tink so?"

"I know so," he said with confidence. He gave her a lecherous smile and got a laugh from her.

~~~

Eva made sure she had a chance to talk to Jake alone while he was there.

"I know you teatts Liam vit gun," she said. "I vant to learn, too."

"I don't know, Mrs. Dady. What's the Doc gonna say?"

"Notink. You not gonna tell him. I pay you my money. I see-oot lil bit in Finland for huntink. I yust need lil practice. I see you maybe two, tree times. No more. Please, I vant to. You can help. Yust don't tell Liam." Eva was adamant.

"I've always been a sucker for a pretty gal. If it's gonna be a few times, I guess I can oblige ye, Ma'am." He smiled with a twinkle in his eye. Eva knew he was a complete gentleman, though.

"Good. Liam make operation all day Monday. Vhere I meet you?"

The arrangement was made. She also arranged for Jake Russell to buy her a small pistol and ammunition.

~~~

Jake came to get Eva after she had Ellen and young Sean take the little ones to Molly's for the morning on their way to school. Her plan was to go to target practice for an hour, and then Jake would take her to the dry goods to buy woolen strips for her weaving.

"I see-oot vone-time gun. You haff to load dat every time."

"A muzzle loader of sorts," Jake said.

Jake bought the smallest Colt hand gun he could find and taught Eva how to load it. "It's best ye find a high place to keep it so yer children can't git at it."

"Ve know how to keep guns in Finland. Pappas tell seeldren to stay 'vay."

Jake took a few shots to get the feel of the new pistol. "It's got a slightly easy trigger. Not a hair trigger, but easy. Here, you try."

Eva took the gun, aimed at the little rusty cans on the fence, and fired. She hit the first one on the left, cocked it again, and fired. The second went flying, then the third, then the fourth.

"Mrs. Dady, I do believe ye've done this before. There's no fear in you, just like Liam." Jake seemed impressed.

"Tank you, Yake."

"Ye don't need practice. Just keep it out of reach."

~~~

School had been out for nearly a month and Fourth of July was nearly at hand. Helena was preparing the annual parade to celebrate. At the Lewis and Clark Fairgrounds, there would be horse races and a not-so-overtly-advertised fist fighting tournament. McKay surely was going to take advantage of the big crowds for the horse races in Helena. Liam knew McKay's _modus operandi_ ; maximum crowds meant a bigger take.

Doctors Sean and Liam were on a break in their office discussing the return of McKay. Liam had explained McKay's return to him and asked if he could pull a few of his miner friends—former Catholic "warriors" from Belfast days—to beef up the watch on the neighborhood and find out exactly when McKay arrived. Liam had also talked to Ed covertly. He would be in on the watch for McKay. He'd help downtown from the restaurant he and Annie now owned and ran. They were living on the second floor, just like the place in Minnesota. Ed could place look-outs in the front window to spot any thugs dressed in leather vests and caps. Liam had one wish that would solve everything. _It would be grand if McKay just keeled over or one of his enemies got to him._

~~~

Ellen was twelve and enthralled with life. All the upcoming festivities for the Fourth seemed so grandiose compared to Virginia, Minnesota. Virginia had had a parade but it seemed so different than how young Sean had described the two-day festival here. She and he were going to participate in the annual parade down Main Street in the horse formation. Their riding instructor found the most bomb-proof horse for Ellen at the behest of Liam who had heard of horses bolting in parades where loud marching bands would be playing and firecrackers would be set off at random. Ellen and young Sean would be riding western with all the rodeo riders. Ellen had gotten a whole western riding outfit and was beside herself with exhilaration.

"Ye look like Annie Oakley," young Sean laughed.

"Shut up," Ellen hissed through her teeth, "or I'll ..."

"Or you'll what?" Sean asked.

Ellen punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"That."

Then she got her very first monthly a week before the parade. It was horrible. Eva shared the advice Liam had given her from a medical point of view. She also talked about what Ellen had to look forward to as she grew older.

"This is awful, Mamma. My belly hurts. And how am I going to do stuff with these cloths pinned to my bloomers? I don't want to do this!"

"I am 'fraid you can't stop any time 'til you get too old."

"Isn't that grand?" Ellen groused as she lay in bed, getting a tuck from Eva at bedtime.

Eva bent to kiss her, and Liam entered to read to them out of Huckleberry Finn.

"Ellen is not happy, Pappa," Eva said empathetically, smoothing Ellen's hair out of her face.

"Don't tell him anything, Mamma."

"Too late, Ellen," Liam said.

"Damn," Ellen muttered.

"Ellen!" Eva scolded quietly, " _Älä kirous._ " _Don't curse_.

"Sorry I swore."

"Ewwen sad, Pappa," Liisa added, having walked over from her trundle bed.

"I'm sorry to hear it," Liam said. "Times of change in someone's life always have a little turmoil, but you'll settle in. Ye won't even notice it after a while."

Liam got a sharp look from both women.

"Ye mean, ye notice it all the time?" he asked.

"Yes," Eva said. "My belly hurt and I get verdy piss off at you, Liam."

"Really? So, when ye're pissed off at me it's because ye've got yer monthly? Then what I've done doesn't matter?" He seemed eager at the prospect of this notion.

"Yes, it real, I get mad. If I don't haff my montly, I don't see any tink stupid you do."

He noticed Ellen giving her mother a perplexed look from her half-buried face in the feather pillow.

Eva turned her attention back to her daughter.

Liam did not understand what Eva had said and gave her his best bovine look. Then he started to titter.

Eva snapped her head to look at Liam. "Vhat you tink is funny?"

Liam put the book on his lap and held his hands up in ignorance, shrugging his shoulders. He could not stop laughing. Liisa looked at him and mirrored his mood. She climbed on his lap giggling with glee.

"Pappa funny."

"Vill you read, or not?" Eva asked.

" _Katso_ , Mamma, Pappa _itkeä_." _Look Mamma_ , _Pappa is crying_.

This went on for several minutes. He snorted and blew his nose. Finally, he was under control enough to start reading.

"I wuff 'Bewwy Finn, Pappa."

~~~

It was July third. Crowds were arriving in droves for the Fourth's events. Ed Murphy came to the house one evening to tell Liam that he'd noticed more U.S. Marshals on hand. He had also seen McKay's men starting to mill around Last Chance Gulch in the saloons and in the restaurant.

Ed told a story about how two men fitting the description of McKay's men came into the diner and Ed decided to use his gift of gab to find out information on the fight tournament and McKay's whereabouts. "I treated them like any other customer when they came in. One was broody. The other was friendly. I asked if they were here for the races or the fights. The younger one said they worked for McKay. The other one didn't like that mentioned in public. Later Annie had a chance to chat with the younger one. She found out McKay was at the Hotel Helena."

"At least we know he's here, and it doesn't make me feel good," Liam said as he walked Ed to the door. "I'm havin' Jake Russell escort Ellen all day tomorrow." He picked up the phone.

~~~

Ellen was up early with Liam on the Fourth. The parade was at ten in the morning, and she had planned with young Sean that they would ride together with elder Sean to the stables to tack up and then ride to the start of the parade.

"Ellen," Liam said as they started breakfast. "McKay's in town and I want ye safe. I'm havin' Jake Russell escort ye all day. He'll meet up with ye at the stables this mornin' after Dr. O'Neill brings ye there."

"Is McKay coming for you?" she asked.

"I don't know if he knows I'm here. I'm not comin' to the parade. I'll be at the hospital all day. It's best I stay a bit hidden."

"Does he know what we look like?" Ellen asked.

"I'm not sure. That's why I want ye with Jake. Stay away from men with leather vests and newsboy caps, and the fight arena in general. It's at the fairgrounds."

"I will, Pappa."

Ellen was grateful that her first monthly had not lasted all that long and she was free of rags and belly cramps for this fun day. She thought it would be a good idea to eat breakfast before she put on her costume. She always ate before dressing on school days because she otherwise ended up wearing drops and smears of whatever she ate. Ever since Robbie Violet, the class eejit, had announced loudly one day that she smelled like his breakfast, it mortified her to smell like oatmeal or preserves or bacon grease in public.

~~~

Eva got up to feed Conor and Liisa and get them ready for the day. She had planned to go to the parade with Molly O'Neill and her girls. The parade would go right past the restaurant. Since Annie was cooking breakfast, that's where they'd eat. They would see the parade from the giant second-floor windows of the apartment above the restaurant. She first had to feed the two young ones; otherwise they would scream all the way to Annie's. With Conor and Liisa and a canvas bag full of diapers and extra clothes ready for the pram, Eva went to the pantry. With a foot stool, she reached into the highest corner of the cupboard for the small wooded box that held her Colt pistol. She opened the cartridge to see it fully loaded, clicked it back into place, and checked the safety. It was engaged. She put it in her right-side skirt pocket _. I don't think I will need this, but I want to have it, just in case_ ...

When the three of them were ready, Eva gave a quick call to Molly on the telephone to see if she was ready. Wealthy people, businesses, and doctors were some of the few people in town who had a phone.

Elder Sean's Irish friends were waiting outside the house to walk with Eva and Molly and the children. It wasn't a long walk to Last Chance Gulch through the maze of streets. It was all downhill as well.

When Eva, Molly, and the children arrived at Annie and Ed's, it was already crowded along Main Street. They all headed upstairs to the apartment through the alley door. Ed had prepared a table for them in the center of the parlor, and he and Annie invited them all to sit down explaining that the diner was too crowded for all of them to eat there. The patrons in the diner were already rowdy, half of them hung over from the night's parties and the other half still drunk.

Eva was surprised at the crowds; their sheer size and wildness unnerved her a bit. She was glad Jake Russell was with Ellen and young Sean. It was a wild place and she was glad she had taken the shooting lessons with Jake.

"There were a number of McKay's men in the diner this morning," Ed reported. "I don't know why they're not eatin' at the hotel."

"Perhaps they know somehow of our association with Liam," Annie suggested.

"Good thinkin', darlin'. Ye'll make a good member of our association yet."

"Does it mean dey know who I am?" Eva asked.

"It's more than likely, darlin'," Ed answered. "That one in Duluth did see Liam with you. Us, too."

"Den it's good I haff dis," Eva said, standing and pulling the little Colt out of her pocket and revealing it to Ed and Annie.

"Mother of God, Eva," Annie whispered.

"Ye know how to use it, then?" Ed asked.

"I know 'nuff," Eva said.

"Enough is all ye need."

~~~

Liam and elder Sean were busy at the hospital. Patients were pouring in, concerns ranged from minor to serious: including men in fights, alcohol overdoses, feet stepped on by race horses. There were also a few prostitutes with various injuries and overdoses being brought in by their compatriots. The retired Wayne Johnson was in to help with the few days' celebration. He took the more superficially injured, while Liam and Sean took the more serious.

"I feel like I'm on the front lines in a war," Sean said, sweat dripping from his hairline. He and Liam were triaging the incoming wounded and injured. The patients were spilling out into the hallway entrance of the emergency room.

"Jesus, ye're not joking, are ye."

Liam, while triaging out in the hall, examined a severely injured man with a gunshot wound to the head. He had been placed on a rolling gurney right away essentially unconscious. Liam pulled an eyelid open and looked at his pupils, and then listened to his chest with the stethoscope for several seconds. He heard nothing. "Who brought this man in?" Liam called over the crowd in the emergency room waiting area.

An inebriated man answered. "I did."

"How old is he?" Liam asked.

"Twenty."

"What do ye know of his injuries?" Liam inquired further.

"All I know is we were in a saloon and firecrackers were goin' off inside and next I know, he's down on the floor. I'm thinkin' he's just passed out from drinkin'. I had friends carry him to our room and now, here he is. The brothel madam called an ambulance when he didn't wake up. There was blood on the pillow."

"Christ," Liam muttered. "He most likely died of this gunshot wound to the head. Do ye know his name and where he's from?"

"His name's Caleb Lassiter, from Great Falls." The much younger man sat dumbfounded and began to stutter. "He ... My brother's dead?"

Liam listened to the man's heartbeat with his stethoscope again. He heard nothing again. "I'm sorry. Yer brother's gone. Ye may want to say yer goodbyes, son. I'll wheel him to a more private area down here. Someone will help ye with arrangements when ye're ready. I'll send a nurse in a few minutes."

Liam looked at the crowd as a few more injured and wounded filed in the door.

~~~

When the parade was over, Eva began to gather her babies to head on home through the wild crowds of Helena. Molly and the girls decided to take a cab to the fairgrounds to watch young Sean in his riding exhibitions. The street began to empty as everyone headed to the fairgrounds. Annie and Ed went down to the diner to start the dinner hour. The little ones had fallen asleep on the sofa. Eva's plan was to lift them into the pram and let them sleep as soon as she packed the pram.

As Eva finished putting the baby bag on bottom rack of the pram, she heard the door open and shut from the alley entrance and footsteps coming up the stairs. It didn't sound like the quick, happy footsteps of Annie or Ed. A shiver passed through her spine as she saw a large man with a leather cap and vest make it to the top of the stairs.

"Hello, Mrs. Dady," he said.

"How you know me?"

"We've known for a while now who Liam Dady's family is. We knew the Murphys from Duluth. It was much to Sheridan McKay's pleasure that Liam and you all were discovered here. One of our men spotted you and the Murphys in the windows watching the parade. We've been given our orders."

Eva's heart began to race. This man who came to kill her was very near her sleeping children. Her whole body began to shake.

"Vhat you gonna do?"

"I'm ordered to hold you so Liam will come out of hiding."

Eva saw him spy the children on the sofa. She thought of screaming, but she instinctively moved across the room so the man would get away from her children. When she moved to the far corner of the large room, he followed her.

"Don't make this any harder, Mrs. Dady. I'm going to tie you up. I'll tell Mrs. Murphy to let Liam know we have ye."

Eva felt the hard metal in her pocket thump against her thigh and stuck her hand in her pocket. She let the man get close enough so she couldn't miss him. He had no weapon she could see. Just his hands.

He smiled. "Whatcha have in yer pocket? A gun?"

Eva understood that he thought it implausible and was joking about it. That was her last fully conscious thought. When he was about four feet away, Eva firmly grasped the pistol butt and took the safety off. She pulled the pistol out of her pocket and, in a fraction of a second, her would-be kidnapper and likely assailant lay on the floor with a single bullet to the heart. For those few seconds, Eva had no fear. The next thing she knew, Ed and his Irish friends, who were supposed to be watching her raced toward her.

Ed gazed at the dead man. "Eva, darlin', what the hell happened?" He took the gun out of her hand and carefully passed it to one of his friends. She fell into his arms. "It's all over, Eva. Ye did fine."

"He say he gonna hold me so Liam would come get me. Den dey kill him."

"Jesus, Ed," one of the guards sputtered. "He came from the rear. We were watchin' from the front. I didn't think ... Jesus, we're sorry. Thank God she's all right."

"Please take me home vit my babies."

"I'll get a cab."

~~~

Liam left the young man with his brother in a quiet part of the hall. _How tragic,_ he thought. They intended to have a good time in Helena for the Fourth and ended up with one man fatally wounded and a stunned, grieving younger brother not much older than Ellen and young Sean to pick up the pieces and go home. Liam had written the dead man's name on his clipboard and noted the probable dead on arrival status for the medical report that the Sheriff would need to write his report.

Still at the hospital, Liam worried about Eva and his family. As he went back to triage the living patients, he glanced at the regulator clock in the hall. It was two o'clock. His family would be at home now, escorted by Jake and the "Irish secret police." He huffed in irritation. He wouldn't be getting out of there any time soon. He convinced himself they were safe. "Sean, have a nurse get hold of the Sheriff's office. We have a death by gunshot out in the hall," Liam reported. He walked back into the emergency room.

Liam sent a man with a gash across his forehead to Dr. Johnson and then tended another head wound. This patient was a pugilist. Liam knew all the telltale signs. There were contusions on both eyes, one swollen shut. The bottom lip was split wide in the middle. As Liam manually examined the man's torso, he could feel that his ribs were bruised and one felt broken.

"Jesus Christ, that hurts, Doc," the injured man said.

"Ye're quite a mess. At least ye're conscious. I'm wrappin' ye for now. Ye shouldn't fight for six to eight weeks. These ribs need to heal. After that, ye might think of findin' another way to earn a livin'."

"Well, I almost had the other bastard," the man whispered. "But I was supposed to lose. I let the other guy hammer me, to make it look good. My boss woulda done worse if I hadn't."

Liam thought to himself, _all I need is for McKay to show up here at the hospital._ He took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I'll have to stitch these cuts on yer lip and one on yer eyebrow. It's gonna hurt."

"I don't care. It won't be any more than what hurts now."

As he started to stitch the eye wound, Liam felt compelled to ask questions. "So, who's yer boss that he would want ye to throw a fight?"

"I'm not supposed to mention his name anywhere, anytime."

_I remember that rule very well and what would happen to anyone who was heard sayin' it,_ Liam thought. He decided not to push his patient. "I need to finish ye fast. There are a lot of patients to be gotten to."

As Liam worked as fast as he could behind a white linen screen, there was a loud but brief ruckus in the hall with a bit of yelling. Then it calmed.

"Ye're good to go, young man," Liam announced to the stitched-up fighter. "Keep these wounds clean with iodine several times a day. Like I said, it may do ye well to find another way to make a livin'."

"I think you're right."

"Good luck," Liam said as the man left.

As he cleaned up rapidly, Liam heard Sean say to him, "We have two here that were in a knife fight. Both have multiple stab wounds."

Then a nurse said there were two Sheriff's deputies and two Marshals in the building to tend to the dead man and his brother, and to arrest the two knife fighters.

Liam walked out of the sectioned-off cubicle into the common area. He saw Sean and Wayne Johnson examining the two knife-wound victims. One was very big, lying on a gurney. Sean was talking to him.

"Ye know ye're seriously wounded. This one stab wound has gone into yer liver. Ye're bleedin' internally. We have to operate. Let me get a second opinion from my colleague, Dr. Dady."

Sean addressed his colleague, "Liam, come look—"

The big man jerked his head up at the name "Liam". His bulging bloodshot eyes glared at Liam and he laughed. "As I fuckin' live and breathe, it's you, ye little fuck. Ye're a God damned doctor?" the man said in the Irish lilt Liam was so familiar with. "I've wanted to kill ye since ye lost the fight in St. Louis. We're holdin' yer wife so's we'd flush ye out so I can kill ye. I guess now's as good a time as any."

Liam's head buzzed at the words "we're holdin' yer wife," and he didn't feel himself prepare for an attack. The confrontation was finally at hand and it paralyzed him.

Although there were two deputies guarding the knife wound victims, two vested men barged into the exam room upon hearing McKay address Liam. McKay flew off the gurney and got his hands around Liam's throat. Liam snapped to when he felt McKay's hands squeezing hard on his throat and he couldn't breathe. _Eva!_ The thought of Eva and his family was foremost in his mind. He punched McKay's face and tried to pull his vice-like hands off his neck. He couldn't. McKay suddenly let go with one hand and punched Liam in the eye. Liam felt like he had lost his ability to fight. But his instinct was to defend himself. There was no running anymore. He screamed his wife's name in his head.

The attack took the deputies off guard but they began to intervene when the vested men went for Liam.

Liam could hear people yelling and screaming. He sensed a brawl erupt around him. He could hear Sean yelling and the lawmen ordering the brawl to stop. Still in McKay's choke hold, Liam began to hammer McKay's midriff with a left body jab over and over aiming directly for the liver wound. McKay screamed in Liam's ear. He felt McKay flinch and his knees buckled like a shot horse. As Liam felt himself start to lose consciousness but he kept pummeling and pummeling McKay's gut until he was free from the chokehold preventing himself from completely passing out. He felt someone else shove him to the floor. There was a hard, painful thudding on his torso. A gunshot rang out at very close range. Then the body on top of him slid off. Liam, freed to move, scrambled up to his knees and towards McKay.

Splayed on his back on the floor, McKay was unconscious. Liam, still in life-preserving fight response crawled to his would-be assailant and began to hit McKay's face over and over. Finally, he felt himself being dragged off and heard a familiar voice imploring him.

"Liam! Stop! It's over!"

Sean pulled him a few feet away where they fell to the floor. They were both covered in blood.

~~~

In the immediate aftermath, McKay lay dead in a pool of his own blood. One of his men sat in manacles, the other dead on the floor from the gunshot delivered by a deputy. Liam gasped deeply for breath.

"Liam, a nurse just told me Ed Murphy called, said there was an incident at the restaurant, but Eva and the babies are safe and on their way home."

"Thank God," he whispered. "I think I'm gonna vomit," he said hoarsely to Sean.

"Go ahead," Sean said, at which time Liam leaned toward the floor and puked his guts.

Liam, half sobbing and half retching, finally began to calm. "Get me out of these bloody clothes," he said. He began to struggle to get his doctor's coat off. "I need to get to Eva."

"It's mostly yer white coat, and yer knees."

"Let me stand, Sean."

"Are ye able?"

"Aye."

Liam stood feeling a bit lightheaded and took off the coat, his whole body shook. Then he looked over to McKay, who was covered from head to foot with a sheet. "He's dead, then?"

"Oh, aye, I'm certain."

Liam shuddered and puked again. Then he sat hard on a nearby gurney and laid his head in his hands and sobbed.

It was over. His idiocy in his early days in America would no longer follow him in the form of a vicious killer named Sheridan McKay. The chains were now lifted. The threat to him and his loved ones was gone. But instead of the fear of dying overwhelming him, the anger began to build.

Thinking of his family, he rapidly gathered himself. "I gotta get home to Eva and the children." Liam looked at Sean, who let him go. "I'll be back in a while."

"No ye won't. Stay home. We'll manage here."

~~~

Liam ran home with only Eva and his children on his mind. He burst into the front door, leaving it wide open as he ran in yelling for Eva. He was still highly agitated. He found her in the living room.

"Ye're safe, thank God."

"I am fine. He don't hurt me or babies."

"It's done, sweetheart!"

Annie was sitting with Eva on the sofa. She had given Eva a glass of wine, something Eva rarely did. As a matter of fact, she drank only on a holiday. Annie explained what had happened, that Eva had shot and killed a vested man.

"Where the hell did ye get a gun?"

"Yake Russell," Eva answered.

It was information Liam did not want to deal with at the present. He then explained briefly that he'd killed McKay to save his own life.

"You two need each other," Annie said. "Get upstairs now. The young children are napping. Ellen is at the O'Neill's. I'll stay and get your supper ready."

Eva nodded at Liam. They went upstairs.

"Vhat happen to you?" She began to cry as she moved towards the bed.

"What the hell happened to _you_?" he answered. "Ye shot someone. Jesus."

Liam put her in his arms and held on tight. He told her what happened in spurts, his voice cracked. He began to rouse. He let go his hold somewhat and felt Eva push away. It was something she never did.

Eva sat on the edge of the bed. She felt overwhelmed and wanted some space between them. She couldn't think of making love at the present.

Suddenly Liam took his erection out and knelt in front of Eva.

"I don't vanna do dat," she said.

He didn't respond to her. He pulled her buttocks toward him. He pushed her skirt up, he moved her bloomers to the side, and started to enter her.

"Liam—stop." She pushed his hands away.

He said nothing.

He was being gentle with her, yet she didn't want him. "I don't vanna do dat now."

He didn't respond. He kept insisting by pushing her hands away again.

"Liam ..."

He took her fast, gasping and grunting with each thrust. He killed McKay. "God damn it to hell!" he hissed through clenched teeth. Over and over. He would not look at Eva's face. Nothing was going to prevent the orgasm he needed so badly. He began to cry as he climaxed. Afterwards, he sobbed into her breasts. It finally registered on his brain she was saying something.

"Liam, let me up. Don't you hear me?"

He moved back in an exaggerated way to let her up. "I'm sorry ... Eva ... come back. I didn't mean to ..."

She went into the bathroom and closed the door.

He went to the door, tried the handle but it was locked. "Eva, will ye let me in?" He got no response. She didn't want the sex but he made her anyway. "I'm sorry." He took off his bloody clothes and put them in the laundry basket. Horrified with what he'd just done, he sat on the bed and put his head in his hands.

~~~

Eva closed the bathroom door and locked it. He came to the door and wanted to come in. Why didn't she want him to have sex with her? He was her husband, for heaven's sake. He had needed her. Just like she did, he killed to stay alive. She was so grateful he'd come home to her, that he wasn't dead, because it could have turned out that way. She was still in shock for having to kill that man at Murphy's. She took of her undergarments. She ran the hot tap and wet a washcloth. She wrung it out and cleaned Liam's semen from her inner thighs.

As she wiped her legs and genitals, Liam's act began to arouse her. She closed her eyes. She wanted to go to Liam so he could make her finish. She wanted to be able to do the whole thing over. Her heart pounded, and her arousal peaked. She needed him.

~~~

A few moments later, Eva came out of the locked bathroom. Liam looked up at her, but couldn't bear having her see him. He turned from her, his back toward her.

She came very close to him. She took his chin in her hand so he would look at her. He realized she was naked, having taken her hair out. With a wet hot cloth, she knelt in front of him and began to clean his blood-stained hands.

"Eva, ye don't have to ..." For one moment, he flashed on Dolly then to sweet Kelly Ann Sullivan, the woman-girl who wanted to take care of him in Chicago a few short years ago. The feeling of shame for taking advantage of her mirrored his feelings at the present. "I'm so sorry."

"I verdy happy you come home to me. You are 'live." Her hand pressed his cheek.

He tried to turn away from her again but she kept up her hand-cleansing. "I sordy I didn't want to. I yust feel fright. I had to do somptink bad, too."

"Ye're apologizin' to _me_?" he asked, looking at her.

"Yes." She refolded the cloth and dabbed at his eye. He flinched when she touched it.

"All right, all right," She whispered as if to a hurt child.

"Ye don't have to say sorry, Eva. I do. I made ye." He glanced in her blue eyes and read forgiveness. How could that be? "I should've taken care of ye."

"Vell, I tink in batroom how mutts I feel ... sexy. I vant finiss. Can you? Maybe make luff vhat help us now, nottink else."

She climbed on the bed and bade him come to her. Still feeling guilty and bewildered at her treatment of him, he was unable to have an erection.

"I can't," he said.

"You can use you tongue," she suggested, eyes half closed. "I'm verdy glad you home. You could be dead and I never see you 'gain. I luff you, Liam. You are my luff. You make me feel good."

_You could've been dead, too, Eva. Christ, I'm glad ye're home._ Liam got on his knees and did what she desired. As he obliged her orally, he could hear her murmur in between moans and deep breaths of increasing pleasure.

"I luff you, Liam. You are my man. _Minun mies_." Her hips gyrated under Liam's tongue, her arms splayed out on the bed. She whimpered, "I luff you, I luff you. You are my good man. You make me feel so good. I come, I come, I come." She suddenly gasped for air. "It feel so good," she whimpered as she climaxed from Liam's oral prowess. He grabbed hold of her bucking hips and slipped himself in, climaxing as she finished. It didn't take long.

She wrapped her arms around him when he climbed onto the bed. They both sobbed into each other's necks.

~~~

Liam woke. He didn't know what time it was exactly but it was definitely evening. Eva was gone. He felt still and calm, breathing in her lingering fragrance. As he stretched, he smiled at her skill at giving him orgasms beyond what he thought he could ever have.

"Damn, Eva. You knew how to pull me out from hell once again."

Thinking about McKay lying dead on the floor under a blood-soaked sheet, Liam felt the horror of it once again. He thought about not being able to breathe and fighting for his life while McKay's hands had his throat in a death grip. In those moments, he thought he was going to die. He thought about how Eva was forced to kill to save her and their children's lives. Then he thought of how he forced Eva. Oh, she would never call it that, but he thought he had.

"You forgave me, Eva," he said to himself, in awe of her. "Then ye made me make _you_ feel good pulling me out of hell once again." He recalled his fierce arousal while he watched her hips buck in her climax. "Christ, ye're good in bed." He said it out loud as he rubbed his face with both hands, avoiding the tender black eye.

He lay in bed with a grin on his face. _I give Victor credit lettin' ye, teachin' ye, to enjoy yerself, gettin' pleasure as well as givin' it. Watchin' ye get yer pleasure is a fierce aphrodisiac. I'm certain it was for Victor, that he taught ye well_. Liam wanted her to come back to him right then but she was probably in the middle of preparing supper with the children surrounding her.

He went into the bathroom and washed thoroughly. For the first time since the fight, he looked at his black eye. It still hurt. He saw the finger marks in the form of bruises on his throat, giving him that visceral reaction of just barely avoiding death. After drying, he dressed in clean shirt and trousers, and headed down to the kitchen.

Liam had been correct in his assumption that Eva was serving supper, having remembered that Annie said she was going to leave food for them. From the bottom of the stairs, he could hear that Ellen had Liisa and Conor on the front porch swing. The porch gate was closed. Liam went to Eva in the kitchen. She was washing a glass at the sink. She looked up and smiled sweetly at him. He stood behind and put his arms around her.

"I love you," he whispered in her hair. "When I woke, I was thinkin' how ye just pulled me back from the brink of hell, one more time." He nuzzled her neck. "And I realized again, how grand ye are in bed."

"You, too. You so sexy." She turned in his arms to face him. She put her cool, wet hands on his face, avoiding his injuries, and kissed him. "I crazy for you," she whispered.

He fixed his eyes on hers. "Are you all right?"

"I gonna be. All I need is you, and take care my babies."

"I'm sorry for it all, Eva."

"It all done, Liam."

They held each other giving and gaining strength as they had in the beginning. Liam spoke in her ear. "I hope it's goin' to be one of those long nights for us," he whispered, smiling.

"If you like," she said, raising her strawberry blond eyebrows in reply.

"I want us to have another baby. I feel it strong inside me," he announced impulsively.

Suddenly, someone cleared their throat from the door of the kitchen. It was Ellen, catching them in their embrace. She had Conor, who was fussing. Ellen rolled her eyes in seemingly feigned annoyance. Liisa, who was in close pursuit, went to her parents and hugged Liam's knees.

"You two are at it again," Ellen stated bluntly. She gave Conor to her mother, who opened her blouse to nurse him. But he would have none of that.

"He vant real food," Eva said.

Liam answered Ellen with delight, "We're at it again because I love yer mother." He took Conor from Eva. "We're supposed to hug each other." With Conor on his hip, he went to the ice box to pull out a bottle of milk. He put it on the counter. Eva handed him a silver cup with a disconnected sip spout.

"What happened to your eye and neck?" Ellen asked.

"It was a belligerent patient at the hospital."

"Well, I hope you did him in, Da."

Neither Eva nor Liam said anything else.

Ellen asked, "Did Mamma tell you what she had to do?"

"Yes, I tell him," Eva said to Ellen. "Ve not gonna say any more, Ellen."

"Like I just said," Liam replied. "I love yer mother and I'm supposed to show her."

"Is that why you are having babies every ten minutes?" Ellen said while she walked to the table, her hand on the back of a chair.

"It's not every ten minutes," Liam said, amused. He poured milk into the cup and screwed the sip spout on, deftly keeping Conor at his hip. He sat at the table and fed his growing son. Conor greedily drank the milk; grasping the cup and helping Liam hold it. Liam kissed his son on the forehead, eliciting a milky smile from Conor. His son now had two bottom teeth erupting.

"I think you'll have another soon," Ellen announced. "You were both in that bedroom for a long time," she added.

"What are ye now, a clairvoyant?" Liam asked, enjoying the banter with his stepdaughter. She, who could take it as well as give it.

"How do you spell that? I want to look it up, because it could be a bad name."

"C-L-A-I-R-V-O-Y-A-N-T," Liam spelled. "I believe there's a dictionary in the library."

"I know where it is, Mr. Smarty Drawers."

Liam laughed. She had a humorous way of getting away with being a twelve-year-old smart alec. "Go on!" he cried. "Who's being a Smarty Drawers? Get!" He pretended to start after her. She squealed and ran out of the kitchen.

Liisa, who was milling around Eva, got caught up in Ellen's glee and followed her into the library, squealing and running in pure joy. Conor, on the other hand, was disappointed the milk was already gone and let his father know in no uncertain terms by wailing.

~~~

It was a sweet family supper. Liam held Conor, balancing him on one knee as the seven-month-old looked at his family. Liam fed him bits of mashed cooked carrots and potatoes off a small spoon. Liisa sat next to Ellen, who enjoyed taking care of her sister at supper time.

"Ellen, how was the parade this morning?" Liam asked.

"It was not easy keeping my horse under control, but my Sean rode next to me and helped a lot. He's very good at riding, you know. It was very noisy with lots of shouting and firecrackers. They don't call it 'the wild west' for nothing," she quipped, not realizing the understatement.

"I daresay," Liam added. "Did ye have fun?"

"Oh, yes. Mr. Russell let us watch some of the horse races. They were grand. Sean told me which horses would win, and they all did. Then Mr. Russell heard there had been a knife fight in one of the buildings so he said he had to hustle us out of there. That's when he brought us back to the O'Neill's."

"He was meant to keep ye safe so I'm pleased he did that."

"Da, he heard the man was being taken to St. Johns. Did you see him?"

"Yes, I did, and he died of his wounds."

"So, he's no longer going to hurt you. You're safe, now." Ellen focused her gaze on the wounds on Liam's face and neck. "Mamma shot a man, too."

"Ellen—" Eva interjected.

"Look at Da's eye and neck, Mamma," Ellen said. "Ever since we've been here, I've heard you and Da talk about McKay and I've heard Da talk to Sean's Da and Pappa Ed about McKay. He was a bad man and he wanted to kill Da. Now he's dead. You're both safe." She turned and looked at her stepfather. "Right?"

"Yes, it's all over, Ellen," Liam said, looking straight into Ellen's penetrative blue eyes. They were just like Eva's.

"Good," Ellen said. "Let's get on with our lives."

### Epilogue

Over a year had passed since the summer of Sheridan McKay. It was1906. That meant freshman year for fourteen-year-olds Ellen and young Sean. Sean had a brand-new baby brother, Robert born in July a couple weeks after his birthday. Robert had been a little small at birth but healthy—another one just like his mother and the rest of the O'Neill children.

Ellen was pleased that they had newer, young teacher, a Miss Alicia Avery, who had started a year prior fresh from back East. Ellen liked her very much. In Ellen's eyes, Miss Avery was not afraid of anything. But the biggest reason Ellen liked her was she didn't seem to favor the boys. She was more equal, treating everyone fairly. She was strict when it was called for, but she let the children express themselves when they needed to. Miss Avery was petite and pretty with light brown hair and smooth skin. She wore a plain, crisp white blouse and dark skirt every day. She had round wire-rimmed reading glasses that sat at the end of her nose. Ellen couldn't figure how old Miss Avery was. Not as old as her mother or Mrs. O'Neill. Her Da said she might be in her early twenties since she just got out of teaching school—perhaps as young as nineteen or twenty.

"Well, she's really nice," Ellen said to Liam one night. "And she doesn't seem afraid of the men at school. Miss Avery stands up to them while staying nice. She reminds me of Miss Lehto, in Minnesota. I should write a letter to her now that we're not hiding from McKay anymore. I want to tell her the truth."

"Perhaps ye can ask Miss Lehto to write to Miss Avery about how she was tutoring you on the side, and her thoughts on yer abilities. It would be a good idea to have ye tutored as ye get closer to college. Ye'd have a hand up on the Greek and Latin and the sciences for your entrance examinations. She could teach ye how to write yer papers well."

"That's a good idea, Da. I'll write tonight after supper. Though, college does seem like a long way off."

"It'll go fast. The time to go to University will rush up at ye."

Now, Liam and Ellen sat not quite alone in the parlor. Conor, nineteen months now, had fallen asleep on the rug after a very active play period with Ellen. Eva was with Liisa upstairs. Liam went back to reading the newspaper.

"By the way, Da, did Mamma tell you she's puking again? These last few days I've heard her in the bathroom in the morning after you've left for the hospital."

Liam's arms fell, wrinkling the newspaper in his lap. "No," he said with a huff.

"She's—"

"Please, let me handle it from here, Ellen. Thanks for lettin' me know."

"Fine," Ellen replied, watching him.

He straightened out the newspaper and continued reading it, placing it in front of his face. He huffed once.

Ellen smiled. She had grown to love Liam ever since he took care of her when she had that case of influenza in Minnesota.

"When you first came to us, Da, I didn't like you, and I'm sorry," she said impulsively.

He looked out from behind the paper. "I know, Ellen. You were scared for your Mamma and Pappa. They were havin' a bad time, and I made it worse. I didn't mean to. My arrival signaled the end of their marriage. I don't think anyone could've predicted what happened to yer father, though."

"I see that now, Da. It wasn't your fault. You were just a sick man who was brought to our house."

"I felt so bad for ye, sweetheart, that yer Pappa died when ye were so young. So, I figured ye should grieve the only way ye knew how, and for however long it took."

"It took a long time to like you. I watched you and Mamma for a long time, and you were nice to her. You helped her get better when Pappa died. I know you love her. I know she loves you, like she used to love my Pappa."

"I'm sure she still loves him, Ellen. Just like you still do."

Ellen sat on the floor next to Conor for a few moments thinking about what Liam had just said feeling her heart warm. "I know you miss Dolly, too," she said.

"Your mother and I will always miss our first loves. I don't think it can be any other way."

~~~

Eva was upstairs giving Liisa a bath. Liisa had gotten into a puddle of mud out in the back yard while Eva was taking down laundry from the clothes lines. Eva sang a Finnish children's song as she helped Liisa, three now, wash herself. Liisa knew all the words to the song and sang along.

Although Eva was finally settling happily into her life in America, it still tugged at her heartstrings that she wasn't able to share her beloved new family with her sisters and mother. She decided to have more photographs taken to send home. She had recently received pictures from her sisters, Aili and Liisa, of their families. Liisa and Yuri had four children—three girls and a boy. Aili and Hannes had six, all boys. Included in the packet had been a portrait of Peter Hautala at twelve, Victor's son with Olga Hautala. She was finally able to admit to herself that Victor had been unfaithful multiple times, though it was still crushingly hurtful at times. Although she loved him, Victor would always remain a perplexing enigma to her. She was astonished at how much Peter looked like Ellen—and exactly like Victor. It was eerie to her, as if Victor were still alive. Peter had Victor's brown eyes and hair. His body shape was just like Victor's at that age. When she first laid eyes on the photo, all the memories came flooding back. There was still a raw spot in her heart as she saw the living proof of Victor's infidelity staring back at her from the photograph. Though she had come far, Eva wondered if the occasional pain would ever go away completely. Photographs and letters from home were always a double-edged sword. As Eva helped rinse Liisa, she felt tears well and found herself sobbing into her apron. Liisa looked on with sweet concern.

"Mamma _laula_ ," Liisa said. _Mamma sing_.

"I'm fine, Liisa. Let's find Pappa, Ellen, and Conor and have supper." Eva worked to compose herself. She laughed, realizing it was her emotions vacillating due to her new pregnancy.

Eva helped a wrinkly, wet Liisa out of the tub and into a towel. Usually, the only way she would get out was if the water was all gone by pulling the plug. This time, Liisa came willingly. Eva's crying brought her out without the usual fuss. Liisa gave Eva a wet hug. While drying Liisa, Eva thought to herself, _I must tell Liam I'm pregnant again. I'll do it tonight, in private_. She hadn't said anything for a few days since starting morning sickness. She wanted to make sure that's what it was. _He'll be irritated I didn't tell him right away_.

~~~

Eva came down the stairs with Liisa. Ellen picked up Conor and met her at the bottom. Liam was right behind her. As Eva continued to the kitchen, Liam gently grasped her upper arm. She stopped and looked at him affectionately. He kissed her tenderly, prolonged.

"Do ye need to tell me anythin'?" he spoke softly when the kiss ended.

"I vas vaiting for tonight." She put Liisa down. "I yust vant to make sure I vas—"

"I love ye. I understand." Liam wiped her drying tears with his thumb. "Ye've been cryin'." He kissed her again.

"You are not angry vit me?"

"I thought about bein' angry. Then I remember ye keep savin' my life."

He bent to kiss her and wrapped his arms around her. "And ... ye forgave me."

She snuggled affectionately and put her arms around him. She felt so loved at that moment. "Here ve go 'gain. Ve wait lil bit lonker for baby. Now ve haff it." Eva's voice was muffled as she spoke into his neck. She turned her body and put Liam's hand on her belly.

She heard voices from the kitchen door. "Can we please eat? "We're starving."

She and Liam laughed. Liisa ran to Ellen and the three children went exuberantly into the kitchen.

As Eva and Liam walked arm-in-arm to the kitchen, he asked again, "Why were ye cryin'?"

"I vas giffink Liisa bat, I vas sinkink songs and I get homesick. I vas tinking 'bout photographs I yust got from home, you see already. I remember vone vit Victor's son vit Olga. I cry but vhen I tink of you, you make me happy." She turned towards the kitchen.

He pulled her back into the foyer and held her close and whispered: "I'll help ye tonight, if ye like, or whenever the sadness comes back."

Once again, Eva realized how much she truly loved her Irishman.

THE END

### Finnish Pronunciation Guide

Accent is on the first syllable in all multi-syllabic names and words.

P sounds more like a soft B, especially when it is at the beginning of the word. The end syllable is always a short, staccato sound. T sounds like a soft D.

**Eva:** AY-va

**Aili:** EYE-lee

**Sinnikka:** SIN-ee-ka

**Olli:** OH-lee

**Eino:** AY-no

**Hannes:** HUN-ness

**Vilho:** VIL-ho

**Hautala** : HOW-ta-la

**Rauma:** ROW-ma ('row' rhymes with 'how')

**Sauna:** SOW-na ('sow' rhymes with 'how')

**Juhannus:** YOU-hun-noose

**Joulupukki:** YO-loo POOK-ee, (POOK rhymes with BOOK)

**Aiti:** EYE-tee (Mother)

**Hauska syntymäpäivää:** HOW-skah SOON-too-meh PAY-veh (Happy Birthday)

**leipä:** LAY-peh (bread)

**Minä rakastan sinua:** ME-neh RAH-KA-ston SEE-new-ah (I love you)

**Päivä:** PAY-veh (day)

**Isä:** EE-seh (Father)

**Punaiset posket:** POON-nye-set POSS-ket (rosy cheeks)

**Paskaa** : BUS-ka (shit)

**Saimi:** SIGH-me

### About Janne E. Toivonen

Janne is deeply in love with this epic love story and its incredibly relatable, lovable characters. Heeding the call to write in 2011, she has completed seven novels and four short stories in the series, and five non-series novels (see list below). She's worked with two editors who have taught her much about writing fiction and nurturing her voice. She's a retired Special Education teacher and mother of a talented and bright daughter, who's in University of New Hampshire's class of 2020, studying to become a veterinarian. Janne lives and writes in rural New Hampshire.
Other Books by Janne E. Toivonen

The _Eva and the Irishman_ Series (7 Novels)

_Eva and the Irishman_ \- now available at most e-book retailers

_Wild Rose and the Horseman_ – now available at most e-book retailers

_Wild Rose Ranch_ – now available at most e-book retailers

_The Sweet Fragrance of New Mown Hay_ – now available at most e-book retailers

_Where the Mountain Touches the Sky_ – now available at most e-book retailers

_Home for Thanksgiving_ – now available at most e-book retailers

_Wild Rose Vigil –_ now available at most e-book retailers

**Series Short Stories (4)**

_The Homecoming_ \- written, to be edited

_Agrafena_ \- written, to be edited

_The Meeting_ \- written, to be edited

_Wolf Rock_ – written, to be edited

Non-Series Novels (5)

_Across the Bridge_ \- written, to be edited

_The Coffin Maker_ \- written, to be edited

_Close to the Wind –_ sequel to _The Coffin Maker –_ written, to be edited

_Thread the Needle_ \- written, to be edited

Crumtown Road – in process

### Connect with Janne E. Toivonen

Visit my website and blog here: <http://janneetoivonen.com/>

Subscribe to my email list here: <http://eepurl.com/cWrNpj>

Connect on Facebook: <https://www.facebook.com/janne.e.toivonen.5>

