

### The question is what's going on

### Chapter one

They were driving through the little roads in the forestry planes [?forested? plains] of Summerville. Adam and Steve were riding together in a 1989 Pony going west, bored to death after missing a ten O'clock bush party. Adam wanted to play a game called chicken. Steve agreed, telling Adam not to fucking swerve. They were very excited. The moonlight was swivering from stars to satellites. Then came a vehicle and Adam couldn't wait. They moved into the on coming lane and faster and faster they drove towards the big four by four. The closer the truck came, the more Adam and Steve were getting a rush of suicide or a sensation of death, killing perfect strangers.

There they were running and screaming on fire in front of a little brick house. The bang woke an old lady. Dressed in her night gown, she went to her window, flames bursting into the air. That was it: 911 was called.

### Chapter two

### I'm 15 years old, actually let's roll back to 14. I arrived in a new city called Summerville all alone. A strange place, a new start to a childhood gone in the wind. The colours were different, the sun shined in a new way. This was a smaller town than before. It was nothing of what I thought. I noticed how small this city was while driving towards my new home with my family, brother (five years old), mother and father. I was dreading getting to my new home, having to unpack. Fucking work. I hate it, it stresses me out but what I was dreading the worst was starting my new school, high school, but I knew that it wouldn't last long I was just going to be there for two weeks and then final exams in late June would come.

### My mind was a mess colours looking all the same, lights shinning so bright I could barely breathe. The morning had come; time for school. Lost already in the paranoia of not fitting in. Getting beat up. Or my usual subject, personality, lost in a wave of a changing mentality. Lying to fit in, lying to be cool. Lying to become the kid on everybody's mind. The jack in the box ready to pop out and amaze the world of Summerville. Stay cool, I told myself, distance yourself and your ace of spades will explode. Picking out who would be my friends and who my enemies.

My mother was yelling at me to get ready for school. I acknowledge. My dad was [had] already gone to his new job, in his beautiful fucking Porsche Boxter [Boxster]. But as you can tell my mind is a little creatively bound. My thoughts just race, I can't control them. Only God can hear them and you of course. So fuck everybody.

### It started to rain and I could hear the bus coming. So I ran out to catch it. I got on and silence hit as I walked on. I sat all by myself in the front of the bus. Then it seemed everybody's conversations started up again. I was already lost as a nobody, forgotten in the sounds of laughter and screaming cries of the bullies beating on the hopeless nerds and outcasts I was not yet marked, where was I going to fit in I wondered. So I kept to myself, staring out the window at the cars, trees and people going about their daily plans. I felt like getting up and showing the people of the bus that I was here to stay and that they better like me or pay. Don't mess with me I've gone crazy so if you want life to continue without a hitch join my clan then you to can be a popular schizophrenic like me. Those were my thoughts racing as fast as a fly moving to avoid your fucking slapping hand.

The bus stopped, we had arrived at my high school, Jack Russell High. The yard was full of kids, talking, smoking, eating. Which group, I wondered, would I jump into. None I guess, all the kids from the bus got off and quickly went to their separate corners. So I stood there all alone and alerted my eyes into an overview of the school yard. The smokers were pushing each other and joking around. The geeks were studying and joking around. The outsiders were silent and looking dark and Goth-like. Probably thinking of death and suicide.

### Then the bell rang. I went and got my schedule from the principal's office, and headed to my first class. Remember I only had two weeks to go through this pain and suffering of being the new kid. Then summer would arrive. I couldn't wait till then. The misty mornings and hot afternoons. The sun beaming down upon me while I played baseball. I was a good baseball player but couldn't seem to make friends. I just did my own thing and stuck it to my own team mates. Proving to them that I was better. Laughing at their faults. They hated me in my old town. I was a jerk. I took baseball very seriously, for the summer at least. In the winter hockey was my sport, and the same thing happened when I played hockey I was a jerk. I was good but stuck it to everyone on the team. I wasn't a bully on the ice but I hogged the puck and scored a lot.

### I walked into class and sat down in the only seat available. I was thinking in a nervous reaction, what to do, what to say, what to hear. Everybody's faces were just a blur as if they were wearing masks and laughing and playing like the one of Loki. The teacher walked in and the whole classroom shut up.

### I started to daydream that I was the king of the school. So popular that my name was posted in the minds of every individual seeking my approval. Even the teachers adored me, even though the principal's office was my main classroom. But this is just a dream, wanting to be the coolest cat on the block.

The blurriness stopped, I could now look around and see the faces. Judging them already, I saw one kid down in his books before the teacher had started to teach. He looked like easy prey. As I was looking at this kid, not apparent of what the teacher was doing, then all of a sudden he threwthrough an ink pen towards the front of the class. I looked and it hit the teacher. The laughter started and the pen-throwing boy went back into his books as if nothing had happened. I was the only one not laughing and that was when a classmate sitting right next to me, introducing himself as Steve, he told me about Adam. Telling me that the pen-throwing kid, Adam was a prankster, coolest kid in school. Adam always had a smirk on his face. A god-like figure watching everybody and taking advantage of all of the flaws of each individual. Nobody was perfect and he knew it, pushing the buttons. No one could keep up with him, he was a con artist and for some weird reason I wanted to be his best friend.

Being the first person to talk to me, Steve, he invited me to chill with him on lunch break. I was intrigued, a friend that fast. Did he know that I was studying his every move. In the past I have slipped up and trusted someone. That person took my life and stomped all over it. Watching carefully Steve seemed to be a reliable person. But the belief of having a real friendship seemed far fetched. I'll see how it goes; cool doesn't come easy, and neither comes trust.

### Steve led me right into the smoking section of the school. He pulled out a smoke, the peer pressure hit, he handed me one, I took it and choked on it like I was having a panic attack. But with cool comes sacrifice, but for some reason Steve didn't laugh, he just told me that I'd get accustomed to it.

It was odd I was hanging with this Steve fellow, but he didn't seem to have any other friends himself. He had, though I had just noticed, the same smirk as did the troublemaker Adam. I thought nothing of it at the time. Here was Steve talking to me but listening I was not. I was watching his every move hoping he wouldn't ask me a question while talking to me. My mind was wandering; all I could see was lights, and dizziness occurred moments later. It was as if I passed out and woke up a month later. For some reason I remember hanging out with Steve for the last weeks of school. All alone just the two of us.

### I noticed that Adam wasn't at school house for the end of the season. My curiosity was growing but couldn't remember anything else.

### Chapter three

### A month later. The baseball season was starting. The bats, the balls, the gloves, it was an excitement I couldn't wait to get involved with. I dressed up in my uniform, grabbed my glove and bat and headed towards the field on foot.

The first thing that rattled my brain was the soul in a person called Steve. It looked like he was going to be on my team due to the same colour jerseys we were wearing. I was happy, someone I knew. We were early, so we talked and had a smoke before our parents arrived.

### Steve was becoming a really good friend. He took me in, showed me Summerville. But trust I couldn't quite release upon him yet. I was very cautious, not wanting to be run over by a train, not wanting to be sitting on the side crying, wishing that I would die. Not wanting to be sunk in the deepest of depressions, stuck to the floor with an overload of pills in my stomach, gravol, an acid trip gone wrong.

So there we were on the baseball field, me of course a star player, hitting home runs and stealing bases. But to my surprise the next batter to outshine me was Steve. Hit after hit, and he could pitch like a madman. We became even better friends knowing and sticking it to the team that we were the stars.

After the game Steve came up to me and told me that there was going to be a party in a week. He invited me and told me to bring any mood altering alcohol. It sounded like a good idea, but still I was scared: a big party with a load of people I didn't know. Since Steve was going, I figured, what the fuck, I'll go. The closer the day came the more paranoid I got, in two ways: strangers everywhere looking and judging me, watching my every move. I was also thinking, where the hell am I going to get some alcohol. That's when it hit me, my dad's got a liquour cabinet. So it's solved. I'm going to the party.

I was baby-sitting my five-year-old brother the night before the party. My parents had left for the evening for dinner and a movie. Once my brother was asleep, I slipped downstairs into the dining room roaming closer to the liquour cabinet. I saw whiskey, vodka, Jack Daniels, and half a bottle of gin. I took the gin so that my family would think that they drank it already, since it was half full. I rearranged all the bottles, so that it would look like nothing was missing. So ready I was, time to shine and show the people of the party that I was no loser. Even though I was a total loner, not ready to dip into society and the lurking eyes. Maybe my drunkenness would erase my pain or pleasure.

I meet Steve at the party, we got there at nine and the party had started at eight. The strobe lights were on and there was yelling and screaming and panting from the bedrooms, lucky bastards fucking all night. Well, my time will come you'll see. Steve had brought a 6-pack of beer and me with my gin we began drinking. I looked over everybody, like in birds' eye view; people were getting drunker and drunker. The party was going out of control; the music was at a max limit. That's when I saw Adam for the second time here in Summerville. He was sitting on one of the counter tops smoking Mary Jane. A huge joint all to himself, or at least it looked like that anyways. Until I saw Steve walk over to Adam, what was going on? Adam passed it to Steve and he took a big puff. I was surprised, how do they know each other. I've known Steve for a month now with no mention of this troublemaker Adam who intrigues me. Steve made a motion for me to come see him, I went. When I got to Adam and Steve, all Adam did was tell me to stick out my tongue. I asked why, scared a little bit, but who could say no to the coolest prankster around. I stuck it out and he placed a little piece of cardboard in my mouth.

It hit. I was so distraught from all the hallucinations and lifeless followings in this crazy party. I felt not the right nor the wrong, imagining the escaped feeling of 99 lives within a sold out play into the video games. Shaking, so nervous without the knowledge of all the characters talking and joking at this place called a home. So who was it I ask the floor of the damned wanting to burn the place down, light up the skies with big orange flames. The truth lying within blurting out into the ears of strangers. I didn't know whether or not to trust changing my own mind from time to time. Facing freedom of non-existing guilt and faceless actions.

I couldn't take it anymore, I was freaking out. So I smoked a big fatty with Adam and Steve on my way home. The tough life of free weed and smoking the day away. The acid buzz was crazy, if I had only known. But I made a friend that night, I don't know how or what I said, but Adam called me buddy as I left his sight. Adam was a menace and that was my dream, to be a menace. So I've got the connection, I'm in, baby. My new life as a cool kid. It seemed so easy, a little too easy. So then it begins.

### Chapter four

### The next day I got a call from Adam of all people. It was odd, how did he get my number, I wondered. Probably from Steve I would guess. The phone was ringing but I didn't recognize the number on my call display. I answered anyways, ready for a prank call of mystery, to mourn all day and be scared of going out again.

Adam seemed to be in a good mood, he wanted to hang out. I pondered; it seemed like an hour of frustration, I couldn't give him an answer. But only seconds had gone by and I made my decision. I asked him what he felt like doing; he said that he and Steve were going to chill at Denver Park. Then came a question. Adam asked if I had a few bucks so that we could have a weed frenzy. I replied by telling him I'd do my best but couldn't promise anything. He then seemed discouraged, so not wanting to blow this new friendship out of the air, I promised I'd be there with the cash. I heard him jump for joy, excited, he was saying that I wouldn't regret it.

I was meeting them at 9 o'clock in Denver Park, not too far from where I live. Actually, it's right across the street, lots of trees with a playground in the middle of a wooded area. I had two hours to get the money so it was time to roll. There were places I knew were [where] to get the cash, but how to get to it [them] was the problem. My mother's purse, father's wallet, rolled change, but Adam had said no change.

### Just then my mother got home from the store and told me to get ready for supper. It was 7 o'clock, I guess you could call it a late supper. That was when the light turned on in my head. My mother always left her purse in the stairwell when coming home. That is were I was going to get my money. I figured I could sneak out of supper early and while my family was still eating, right into the purse I would go. When I was done, into the purse I went. 20, 40, 60, that's all she had, so without being caught, I just took 20 and 4 dollars in change for a pack of smokes. Adam said he'd sell me a pack on arrival at the park.

I got to the park a little early but I wasn't the only one there. There were three girls about my age sitting on the swings. Two blonds and a brunette, all fucking beautiful, if only I could measure up to their level. I tried not to stare but I couldn't help myself. Then out of the blue, an angel came before me and asked me my name. I was so nervous I could not speak; then over came the others. I knew it was my turn to reply but nothing came out of my mouth. I was looking like an idiot and shaking like a freak of nature, when out popped Adam and Steve. The girls turned to them wondering what the fuck was up with me. So, as a grateful [graceful] host, Adam introduced me to the pretty little things. Still nervous I needed a relaxing, mood altering substance to be able to even speak to these woman [women]. Then out came the bottle of vodka, straight out of Steve's back pack. Yelling at the top of his lungs, "Party!," we all started to drink, all alone in the park, it was getting late.

### I gave Adam the 20 bucks that I stole from my mom and he left to pick up a couple grams of weed off a guy called Roach. By the time he got back, the bottle of vodka was completely empty. Me, Adam, Steve and the girls were totally drunk out of our minds. That was when Adam rolled the biggest fucking joint I have ever smoked. By the time we finished smoking I was making out with the brunette on the slide in the play ground. I later found out her name was Janet.

### Then around 12 o'clock Janet and the girls got up and told us they had to go home. They were all sleeping over at Janet's house and told us to sneak over around two to continue the party once Janet's parents were asleep. It was my time to get home too, totally drunk as a monkey and high as a kite. I was to meet Adam and Steve back at Denver Park at one-thirty, we were going to sneak out and visit the girls. I had no idea what was going to happen that night but it sure paid -off to break the rules, to be a bad ass and loose my virginity.

We met at the park and smoked the rest of the joint we had rolled earlier. We hadn't finished it in the past, we were getting way too fucking stoned. The weed was amazing; after half a joint I forgot my own name. We waited at the park till two, then headed towards the girls' domain. We got there and knocked on the basement window very gently. They let us in, handing us each a beer. Wow, I thought, this night couldn't get any better. Wrong I was. There were two sofas and one bed, Janet's bed. Us boys chugged our beers and went off to our separate corners with our respective girls. Adam went to the first couch with one of the blonds, not remembering her name. Steve went to the other couch, with the second blond, her name I'm not too sure I think it started with a B. That's when Janet pulled me towards her bed and underneath the sheets we went. My dream had come true; I am fucking for the first time in my life. Wow. An impact, an outpour of ecstasy, I was marked with a penetration of heart-pumping in and out action. It was as if I was lifting myself in harmony. My virginity was lost.

### After leaving I went back home in the sounds of silence, slipped into bed and slept like I was in my mother womb for nine months. Adam and Steve had shown me the light; no friends of mine ever led me into an immaculate state of mind. Leading to an orgasm of knightly power, expanding my mind to new and powerful things. I was getting on a trusting theme. This was the coolest and best time a friend could give to another friend.

### Chapter five

Adam was the coolest guy around, with many friends but he seemed to hang out with me the most, why I thought. Maybe I was at his level of game play. Seeing perhaps the outpour of a solidified soul at a part cool, part fun. So I took advantage of his friendship, smoking weed every day laughing at everything, the people walking by, and the cops while running away. At the same time though I was still chilling with Steve. We were like the three stooges, fighting for fun, weird, fucking right, but hilarious as hell.

### About a week after the fuck fest, Steve and Adam were to sleep over at my residence. We were going to drop acid and let the lights and sounds surround us with multi color visions.

Adam came over first and we started playing Nintendo. My dad was out of town but my mom and brother were home, so it had to be a quiet night. Still that wasn't going to stop us from having an ultimate time walking through the streets in the night air. We had planned to sneak out once my family was asleep. Not too much later Steve showed up, and the discussion began. I asked about Janet, my first, the one to remember. Adam put it to me as easily as possible. He opened his mouth and a one night stand is all that came out. I'd been used; oh well off to my next fireworks seeing spectacle. I [felt a] little sad but I would do it all again. Fuck that bitch, let's turn the tables around, I used her and that's the story I'm sticking with.

It was time to go pick up the acid. I told my mom we would be back later, we then left. Off to the crazy, ultimate life-changing park, Denver Park. We were to meet this guy, I had heard of before, Roach, the man with it all. Weed, acid, mushrooms, Roach had it all. We waited in the park for at least forty five minutes before, out of the blue, Roach popped out. He was a big fellow with long dread locks and a fear and loathing kind of look. Steve and I sat on the swings and Adam went over to the dealer. It seemed like they were talking for a long period of time, but it had only been a couple minutes. I was sort of paranoid just waiting for the five-O to show up. I was looking around the park trying to figure out were I would run to, my path of disappearance. Roach and Adam shook hands, and Roach slowly went out with the night. Adam came back over to the swings and handed us each two hits of LSD. We all quickly put it on our tongues and headed back to my house, it was getting close to my curfew.

Once back at my house, I noticed that my mother and brother were already asleep. So we placed ourselves in the living room and started to play some video games. Close to an hour later it hit for the second time in my life. But this time, I hadn't even hit the peak of my buzz, and I could feel the double hit, I was freaking out. I needed to get the fuck out of the house, I was getting claustrophobic; I couldn't breathe. I told Adam and Steve how I was feeling and they agreed to sneak out with me. We went out the patio door, my house backing onto a golf course, and walked along the golf course. The stars all around coming down into my soul, I was fucking tripping. Then I started to peak and peak as time went by. Then I lost it.

### The unknown pleasure was recreating itself. Rising and falling into total happiness, masquerading around into a freak style totally unplugged. The whole world blowing in the wind, I didn't know the difference between right or wrong. I felt like the chosen one living for the people, a crazy chatting impact. I couldn't stop talking and my laughing trips hit the ultimate height like an orgasm times ten. I was like a fool with wondering eyes, a brand of new illusion for the inspired state of mind. I looked into the sky and I could see the A&W bear sitting there at a bus stop, talking but not understanding. I think the words that came out of his mouth were telling me to go home. I got freaked out, and in my own mind I agreed with the bear, all because he might poison my next A&W burger. So we left, Steve didn't want to but as a good friend you don't leave a bad tripping man down.

We got back to my place around three in the morning. Sneaking back into the back door, we were safe, though. The kitchen floor was making a silly sound I had never heard before, why now. The next thing I knew a heard my mother coming down the stairs. Shit I was too loud and my head was spinning, everywhere I looked, it was like I was looking though a microscope. The tables, couches, and kitchen appliances, were all bubbling in. I was peaking so hard, I couldn't figure out what to do. All of a sudden Steve and Adam ran to the living room threw themselves onto the couches and pretended to sleep. It seemed that the move they made lasted a second but when I turned my head, my mother was standing right before me. I looked towards her face, her eyes were blinking in the shadows of the night has. Was I dreaming or stuck in a world of matrixed illusions? My mother kept talking and walking. She slowly came towards me her face thinning out as she walked. Her blood-freed lips were laughing at me trying to touch and rape me. The skin burned has [as] it hit my hand from her melting body. A pure bone layout, démodé the inside of my mother shaping the image of a loved one. I fell to the ground, panic rose slipping into shock, what the fuck was going on. It felt I was falling and falling and my mom was getting smaller and smaller. Then the words just left my mouth; I said something and it looked like whatever I said worked. She went back upstairs that's when I fell crawled to the living room and told the guys it was clear to stop pretending to sleep. A couple hours later I found myself on my back in the living area with the buzz subsiding.

It was five in the morning, without sleeping that night; we headed to Denny's for breakfast. There we talked about what we could do. And that's when I noticed Adam's popularity grow. He spoke inviting me and Steve to a party for the same night. A few of his long time-buddies were going to be there. I was tired as hell but couldn't deny this opportunity to join the bad-ass club. Till night came we decided to pick up an ounce of hydroponics weed. We were going to party all fucking night long and get so high, I think I was going to forget my name.

An once cost about two hundred and fourty [forty] dollars, which meant I had to find a way to get my hands on at least, we were splitting three ways, 80 bucks. I thought shit sitting there at Denny's, what to do, what to do. I looked at my watch and it was about seven thirty, I had time, not much but I had to hurry. I knew my dad never woke up before eight, so I knew his wallet would still be magically placed in his daytime clothes, always carrying at least $250 most of the time. I wasn't worried my plan would work, I knew it. So I said bye to the guys, and took off as fast as I could. I was to meet Steve and Adam later at Denver Park. Then of to the party we would go.

### Chapter six

My trust was beginning to grow for my two friends. It had been about two months since I met Steve and a month and a half for Adam. We were so close, no reason to kick me down. The biggest trust issue was that they trusted me. A big high for my mind to grasp. Believing theirbold telling tales that only friends would tell each other. It wasn't all there yet, but soon would come the best friend factor. I was like was going into the light, greatness was coming; my life was beginning to shine.

I meet Steve at the park Adam was missing. I walked up to the only man in the park and asked him where Adam was. Steve regarded at the fact [said] that Adam was already at the party. I was wondering about Adam's 80 bucks, how were we going to get the weed. But Steve had seen Adam earlier and was given the money for us to meet the Doctor, [as] they called him. Roach was our usual contact, but he only sold in small quantities. So we put our money together, giving Steve my share. We headed for the alley behind the 7-eleven.

Once we got there we waited at least 15 minutes for the Doctor to show. While waiting I kept thinking about the party, and the individuals, meeting the gang of coolness for the first time since hanging around with Adam. I felt like it was an internship, that I was getting ready to be part of the family. Way back in my head I was thinking about Janet, would she show herself at this party or hide to avoid our connection. Who would I meet there, bad-asses to pick on me and throw me to pieces? No, no way Adam would let them, I knew it he had my back. I mean he trusted Steve and I [me] with his money, now that's something. We could easily take off and screw him over big time. But friends are friends always together, there's nothing like a good partnership to enlighten the spirits of each other.

The Doctor showed us the marijuana, a full ounce in a zip lock bag. So much weed it was unbelievable. Just to thank the Doctor we rolled him a quarter gram joint and smoked it before heading towards the party. We were smoking the joint and the Doctor was talking so much I could hardly keep up. I heard bits and pieces, something about getting a hold on [of] a lot of acid, selling a minimum of eight hits in one shot. One day I told him I'd get in touch, I was very excited too because at that amount he sold them at three bucks a piece. I knew it slowly; I was becoming an acid head. But [I] didn't care, the buzz was orgasmic, there's no way I could throw that away, you try. We finished the mind-altering drug, bid the Doctor goodbye and headed to the party.

Totally stoned out of our minds, after less then a half gram joint, we couldn't stop laughing at absolutely nothing at all. Steve had his bike so I rode on the handle bars, but we kept falling down. The house party was about three blocks from Denver Park and we were taking a long time to get there even though it only a few minutes. On the way there we ran into Roach, so he was known as [as he was known]. We stopped to say hello. Without any time to give my regards he pulled out a big pipe and handed it to Steve. Steve was still laughing and took the pipe, behind all the laughter with his eyes blood shot; he pulled out his lighter and hit the pipe. All I saw while watching the pipe was a huge fucking weed cherry glowing in the night. That's when quickly he passed me the pipe; I took Steve's lighter and inhaled. I didn't get too stoned after the hit, I wondered what was up with Roach's weed. But said nothing not wanting to put him down and lose one of my main distributors'. When the pipe was empty, Roach asked us if we were going to the party, [and] we acknowledged parting ways. He was to meet us there later; he had some business to take care of.

Once getting [we got] to the party Roach's weed just hit me, it crawled up and peaked me right up. Totally wasted I noticed it was a small gathering, counting Steve and I there were about five of us, let's say six whenever Roach was to arrive. I saw Adam right away he was talking to two big black guys. I later found out their names were Turner and Jessie. I remembered them from school; they were always getting in trouble, just like Adam. This was Adam's gang, a gang I was slowly becoming a part of. They were talking and watching TV at the same time but Adam came over right away to greet Steve and I [me] upon seeing us. I pulled out the bag and Adam almost fainted, he screamed marijuana at the top of his lungs. That's when Turner and Jessie came running over. We emptied out the weed on the kitchen counter; a big amount was to be seen, happy to waste the night away. Another sleepless night, who [we got]the fuck cares I was getting high bitch. Even Turner and Jessie pitched in, throwing a few grams into the mixture. We all decided to roll a joint each for themselves [ourselves].

After smoking ourselves each a fatty, Jessie said to Adam when the girls were to arrive. Adam replied with a 10 o'clock showing time, it was 10 o'clock. In the back of my mind I pictured making love to Janet like I did that night losing my virginity, I hoped she'd be there and possibly horny. Sitting at the kitchen table Turner, Jessie, Steve, Adam and I were getting so high we needed some alcohol to cool down into the perfect buzz. The house was empty, no booze, except for a locked liquor cabinet. Jessie had an idea, something his older brother had taught him. He suggested ordering a pizza, not any pizza place but Max Pizza, and asking them to stop by the beer store while delivering the pizza. Of course we'd have to tip the delivery man at least 10 dollars, but it seemed like the easiest way at the time. Under aged kids ordering beer, they should call themselves Max Pizza and Beer. I was also hungry for the pizza and Steve agreed.

So came the two large pizzas and two two- fours of Budweiser, and to my surprise Adam paid for it. What a guy, showing me his nice side, if he did that at school he'd go from a badass to a used up tissue. Now that we had beer, I mean seconds later, around one, came the girls all together at the same time. Right away I saw Janet, I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was more beautiful than underneath those covers or in the black night. Her brown hair drew me to her in no time. Steve and I were sitting on the couch in the living area eating pizza with a beer in our hands when they got there. I was amazed when the girls came in; Janet came and sat right next to Steve and I [me]. I gave her a beer but was too stoned to talk, I mumbled something it must have been something funny cause she laughed or maybe she was just laughing at me. I was too paranoid to figure out what was going on. I heard my name, I looked up it was Roach; he motioned for me to come out on the deck of the house. He was holding a plastic bottle with a hole in the side of it. I was confused, what's going on I pondered. I saw Janet get up and take my hand, she walked towards Roach, and we went out onto the deck, in the backyard. Janet, Roach and I sat together at the patio table and Roach placed the bottle on the table. For some reason we needed a smoke, so knowing Steve had some I went to get him. Once Steve saw the bottle he freaked; he pulled out his lighter to light his smoke. He put down his pack of cigarettes and out came, out of Roach's pocket little black pieces, which looked like tar. Steve told me it was hash, sure I've heard of hash, but was I to smoke it or cook it, I had no idea. Steve showed me, and Janet already knew the routine. I had to use the smoke to stick the little tar onto it, letting it burn away into the sealed bottle. Then inhale the smoke from the bottle, I went first. We did about four hits each. Hash seemed like more of a body buzz, and I liked it. All of a sudden Janet grabbed my hand, dropping the beer bottle. She didn't seem to care, she pulled me back into the house, I looked back and the guys were giving me thumbs up.

### We found an empty bedroom and the sex began. When I reached orgasm I rolled over and passed out. After not sleeping for a couple days, it was the best sleep of my life. My whole body buzzing,

Turner woke me up; it had felt like I'd been sleeping for days. I turned over and there was no sign of Janet, Turner was talking and talking to me. He said his parents were going to be home soon, so it was time for me to jet. I got up and there was Adam at the front door, we were the last people, I noticed, who [were] left at the party. Once outside he pulled out the bag with the rest of the weed. There wasn't that much left and before saying anything the words flew by into the part of the brain that was inactive. All I was concentrating on was when I was going to smoke next. Adam and I weren't talking too much as we headed into Denver Park. We were so tired, hoping to smoke a joint and wake up and enjoy the summer night.

I was to be home hours ago but at this point I had gone too far to be able to turn back. I figured Adam was late too, his family was probably used to it, with the kind of person he was. But for me this was new and I was happy to be breaking the rules, feeling part of a gang. Now nobody could tell me what to do, and if I was drowning I knew Adam and Steve would pull me up.

Once at the park I saw Steve sitting on the playground. Adam had told me he'd be there because it was our weed and we were to smoke it together. We had told Adam about when we picked the green we smoked up the Doctor. He was cool about it and understood our situation at the time. So we sat on the swings smoked a joint. It was then I decided to go home, I was so tired in a drunken,' stoned state. I knew I was going to sleep like a baby after getting his warm milk. As I was leaving Steve and Adam gave me the rest of the weed; they wanted me to hold on to it. They actually trusted me with the gold that could last us approximately three more days. They made me feel like I was part of the family. It was tough for me to trust again after my past, but this seemed too good to be true. I think my trust was like a meteor falling from the sky, and boom on impact was the trust hitting me right in the face. I was becoming less angry at the world and the people around me. So instead of telling the people to fuck off in my mind, I thought I was coming full circle, from a low moving to Summerville to a high with my new great friendship.

I managed to sneak into my house and into bed, falling asleep as soon as my head grooved into my pillow.

### Chapter seven

The next morning Steve called me up and told me there was going to be a guy's [guys'] night out coming [don't need the word 'coming'] that evening. I asked him who would be there; Jessie, Turner, Adam and maybe Roach was said. Sure I'd go, it was time to get to know better Adam's friends so part of the clan I would be.

I still had the bag of weed but felt like expanding my spiritual powers. Adam had given me Roach's pager number, plus I knew he'd hook me up, knowing who I was, I think he could trust me as I would him. I paged him and 5 minutes later he called. I asked for two hits of acid asking him to give me a good deal. He said it would cost me eight dollars. Happy with the deal I asked him where we should meet. But since he was going to chill with the guys tonight I'd get the hits that night. To top it all off I stole a bottle of vodka, my new favorite liquor, again placing the bottles as if nothing had went missing. Not caring at the time whether or not I'd get caught.

Still a little tired I just faintly remember Roach telling me to bring my bike. The problem was that I didn't have one. But my five-year-old brother had a small BMX in the shed in the back yard. I had tried it before, shit I thought too small. Off to the next best thing my dad's bike, it was his baby, biking for hours when not working. I had to be very careful or my ass would be on the ground with my dad beating on me. But it was worth the risk, to be cool. I knew I could easily steal it. I was ready to run around the streets at night being a menace to society, something I had always dreamed of.

Before meeting the guys at the park, I took the bike and rode to the local corner store. I had five bucks over the eight I had got for mowing the lawn, already put aside. I got the five by going through my mom's purse it was just sitting there by the front door, so I went through it and took a five out. She wasn't to miss it, knowing she never keeps track of her income flow. I was waiting in front of the store picking out the right people to ask if they could buy me a pack of smokes. That one there with a baseball cap, wearing it backwards. I put my bike down and walked up to the baseball fellow, gave him the five dollars and he agreed walking into the store. A couple minutes later he came out and gave me the smokes, he kept the change, but I didn't mind at all. I was going to share my smokes with all of the guys; they would praise me as being in a rebellious state.

I had to get to [the] park fast, I was five minutes late, not wanting to miss out on a night of craziness. But I knew they wouldn't take off on me, I had the weed. I, [the] life saver, trusting, that I wouldn't rip them off. As I got closer to the park I could see five salutes in the dark, talking so softly. Then I got closer and they all looked over towards me [and] started to yell, they were calling my name over and over. It seemed like they were really happy to see me. What a rush, I hit a high, goose bumps grew all over. I could see Turner, Adam, Jessie, Steve and Roach was there also. They all had their bikes, but we didn't use them right away. It was time to get high, drunk and peak myself into the moon and stars. So we sat in the park talking, while Adam was rolling a joint, for some reason my mind did not feel like smoking. I told the guys that for a change I just wanted to get drunk tonight. They seemed cool about it, I didn't care if they were smoking some of my share of the weed, it was for everyone to share, we were all friends there. I pulled out my pack of smokes and everybody's face lit up. I passed them around; inhaling finally; after a while I was adjusting to cigarettes.

I hadn't cracked open my vodka just yet. I had to take a piss, so I got up, went to a tree in the forest by the park. Once done I turned around and saw Roach approaching, he pulled out two little pieces of cardboard and handed them to me. I had forgotten about the acid, and all I felt like doing now was to drink. But I couldn't screw him over so I bought them. We walked back to group, they were still smoking that first joint, I could barely see the size of it, being so dark and all. It must have been big, it kept coming round and round. Secretly Steve turned to Roach, and I could hear the whole conversation, I was sitting right next to Steve, he asked for a hit of acid. Roach said he only had one left but wanted to wait for me to drop first so we would be on the same level. That's when I tapped Steve on the shoulder, he turned towards me. I gave him my two hits, telling him to drop with Roach because I was just going to drink that night. Steve looked like he had found gold, handing me eight bucks, he smiled and put them on his tongue, Roach then followed.

### I cracked open my bottle of vodka and started drinking straight up. When the joint was done, and a quarter of my liquor was gone, we all got up to leave. While getting up Adam said he had to go, he was meeting a girl, we argued what about guys night out, but in the end agreed that sex was more important. Adam left and the rest of us headed towards Jessie's house. While riding our bikes, I was still drinking with one hand on the handle bars.

We arrived at Jessie's and his parents were already asleep. W e went into the basement to play some video games. At one point Jessie, Turner and I were sitting on the couch, so extremely focused on the TV. When all we could hear was laughter coming from behind the couch. We turned around and Steve and Roach were sitting on bean bag chairs laughing and laughing at absolutely nothing. There [They] were so high and the peak had not even hit yet. We left them all alone in the basement. Sick of the games, Turner decided it was time to go for a bike ride. Jessie and I agreed, but I knew Turner was up to something. We said our goodbyes to Steve and Roach, but they just kept laughing, so we left.

### We got on our bikes and took off down the street; I was plastered, drunk out of my mind. Throwing the empty bottle on the street, a big crash sound and Turner turned and laughed. While riding down the road it looked like it was garbage day. That's when Jessie started the fiasco; he began kicking over the cans. So Turner followed, and so fuck it I thought, I kicked a few myself. We were having a ball, drunk and criminally insane.

My ears open up for a quick second, I could hear sirens. It was the cops, I told Turner and Jessie by yelling at them. We jetted down the road, the cop right behind us. Jessie was in the front and me in the back, I had no clue how we were going to get out of this. Jessie then turned down a path, we all followed. The path was small and the cop couldn't fit into it, we were clear I thought. The path led us right to Denver Park; we kept on biking as fast as we could. Behind the park is where we ended up, into a bundle of houses in the middle of being constructed. We went to one of the houses, grabbed our bikes put them into one of the houses, to hide out for a while. The cops would never catch us there, we were so secluded.

Still drunk I felt like some weed but it was back at the house, I think I had given it to Steve. What's going on; Turner pulled out the bag of marijuana, yes somebody grabbed it. Adam had given it to Turner before leaving, he didn't think I'd mind and that was true. I was just happy we had some. Not only that but Turner had Roach's pipe, big hits all around baby. He filled up the pipe to the max and passed it to me to start off the ring of fire. The drunkenness was melting away; I forgot how good this weed was. After we had all finished, I felt like playing some games. But there was nothing in this house to do, I was getting bored. Then Jessie, who must have read my mind, took a handful of sealant and threw it right at Turner. It hit him in the face, seconds later Turner grabbed some himself and threw it at Jessie. They were covered in the stuff, I laughed. That's when they both started throwing some at me, it was an all out war. Back and forth came the sealant. We were dripping in the stuff. We ended up on the floor beside each other and Tturner pulled out a rolled joint; perfect timing I thought.

Now safe from the cops we headed back to Jessie's home. We washed ourselves with a hose in the back yard; there was no way I could go home this way. Back inside the basement there was no sight of Roach or Steve, even though their bikes were still on the front lawn. So I took off towards my house, riding my bike down the middle of the street swerving from left to right. While passing Denver Park, on my way home, I noticed Adam was there with someone. I decided to go over and make an entrance; as I came closer the person with Adam started to walk away. That's when Adam saw me and said I was just the man he wanted to see. When I stopped I looked behind Adam and I could see Steve and Roach lying in the grass staring at the stars, like hypnotized, brain washed individuals. It looked like fun, but my eyes came back to Adam, he was talking to me. So at his request I pulled out the rest of the weed, Turner had given it to me before I left, and Adam just smiled. He told me to wait on the weed, he had something better.

He wondered if there was a place we could go, like an idiot I said that my room could be a possibility, at my house around the corner. Adam agreed and off we went. I didn't want to leave Steve and Roach un supervised, but Adam said to let them peak, alright I guess.

Once in my room, after sneaking in through the garage, Adam pulled out a little ball of what, I wondered. Wait I had seen this before at Turner's party, Roach had some. Wow a ball compared to the four hits,, what a body buzz that was. I could only imagine how many hits would come from that ball. We sat at my desk and he pulled out a plastic bottle, like the one Roach had. Adam broke the ball into pieces we must have had at least 15 hits each, plus he had enough left over to make a smaller ball. He then asked me for the bag of weed, I handed it to him. I was so high I lay on my bed and couldn't move. I was spinning and all the walls were crashing around me. In the corner of my eye I could see Adam smoking a pinner. He offered me a hit but I couldn't answer I was so fucked up. I passed out after seeing Adam lie down on my floor. A little paranoid that my parents would walk into my room and see the paraphernalia in the morning. Fuck it I thought.

### Chapter eight

I got home late that night it was a Sunday, two days before school was to start. Hanging out with people no one would mess with. I was safe in the world of coolness, a little gang to hold on to. I wondered how much respect I would get, I just couldn't wait. This was the time. I needed at least 40 dollars to party our last night away, reminiscing about nothing in the outdoors of Summerville. My parents fast asleep, I moved into their bedroom very slowly, tip-toeing around. My father's pants were on the floor beside his bed. I reached into his back pocket took out what I needed, I could have taking more, he had so much but I didn't want to push it to the extreme of getting caught.

I paged Roach, he called back right away. I told him I needed four grams. He wanted me to meet him at the park, due to the fact he was already meeting Jessie there too. I called Steve, him and Adam were busy but would meet me at St Augusten middle school, a little later. So I went to the park, I was the first one there and it [was] getting dark. Then I got a push from the back, I fell, it was Jessie, we started to wrestle. We got up when Roach arrived, I gave him 40 and Jessie 30, we were rich bitch. After getting the weed Roach insisted we smoke him up. He had given us a good deal and he didn't even have to, eight grams for 70 bucks, so that definitely wasn't a problem. Just before the sky went completely black we rolled that sucker.

After smoking the joint Roach decided to chill with us. I told them we were going to meet Adam and Steve at St Augusten a little later. So we just walked around the streets. It was silent and the moon gave out no light that night, pitch black we could barely see our feet. We decided to roll another one but we needed light to do so. Coming up to a light in the front of a school, I forget the name, we stood there the three of us in the light, for everyone to see. We were trying to get this joint together, then we turned our heads at the sound of sirens. There was a cop car cruising right up the grass towards us, we dropped the bits of weed and started to take off. We ran to the corner of the school Roach and Jessie took a left and I went between to [two] portables straight ahead, took a right and doubled back. I passed by the light where we dropped the weed. The cop was already around the left corner and I kept running across the school yard. There was a forestry [?forested?] area at the end of the field, I jumped in and stayed there, my heart pumping a mile a minute. Only fifteen minutes had gone by but it felt like at least an hour. During my time in the forest I saw two more cop cars driving up and down the school yard, I sat and waited. Once the coast was clear I started to make my way towards St Augusten to meet Adam and Steve.

I took little bike path's [paths] to make my way there. I sat at the school waiting in a light free area, when I saw someone coming towards me. It was Jessie, I called him over, he was happy to see me and so was I to see him. I was glad he got away but he told me the bad news, Roach got caught. Shit, I hoped he didn't have anything major on him, fucking police.

While sitting there waiting Jessie pulled out two beers from his backpack and gave one to me. It was getting late, where were the guys I thought, drinking my beer and talking to Jessie about how we got away. What happened was Jessie ran into a bush leading to somebody's back yard and hid there till everything calmed down. Plus knowing I was to meet Adam and Steve at Augusten he made his way here, lucky to find me. We finished our beers at the same time and threw them onto the roof of the school. All you heard was a crash. We laughed until a blue BMW pulled up in front of us, and out came two undercover police officers. They had just missed us drinking our beer, imagine the trouble that would have caused. I was freaking out too because I had about there [three] and a half grams on me and I knew Jessie had some too. The cops just asked us our names, we told them, and our age, we told them. The first thing that came out of their mouth's were that we were past curfew and should head home. They said they'd keep an eye out for us, so we best behave and do what they said. We told the officer sure at the same time and they left.

The whole time Steve and Adam were just behind us around the corner of the school. They popped out when the cops left. We then all left to go to Turner's place; he was grounded but was allowed to have friends over. Wow he called me a friend; I was in baby I was in.

When we got there his parents were sleeping, so we all sat around the patio table and smoked our night away. We talked about Roach, poor Roach, we thought, probably in holding, trying to get him to give up his dealer. But what we were all hoping the most was that he didn't have anything on him. Even though school was starting we sat there all night eating any munchies we could find at Turner's place.

The sun was rising so we all headed home before our parents got up. That was the end of summer, what a summer indeed. I already had some amazing friends, trustworthy and behind me all the way, a 100% of keeping each other under control. I'll be known as someone not to mess with, they all had my back and soon the world of Jack Russel High would know the truth and the trust we had. We were one not to be messed with, I couldn't wait.

### Chapter nine

I arrived at school that Tuesday morning and went to the office to pick up my schedule. Still not quite used to the classroom setting, I went to my first class early. I got to the empty class and found a seat at the back. Then the bell rang and the class started to fill up. I was watching the door where the people were coming in from and I saw Janet. She came over and sat right next to me. I was turned on already, she was so beautiful and my first and only real love connection. I felt a slap on my back, it was Adam, cool, he was in my class too. This will be a peacefully fun semester, at least in this class, math.

The teacher walked in last and started handing out the text books. He told us to turn to page one and began writing on the black board. Then I could feel a hand touch my left thigh moving closer to my crotch. It was Janet; she started giving me a hand job. I tried not to scream out with pleasure; she wouldn't stop up and down all around. Boom I hit the peak and sat back. What was with this girl, using me whenever she felt like it. Fuck who am I to complain what was next with this girl she was unbelievable. A couple minutes later Adam turned to me and whispered in my ear, [asking] what I thought was better, acid or the pure pleasure of a woman sexing me up to an orgasmic peak. I couldn't answer, but acid wasn't quite far from it.

After class Janet took off with her girlfriends and Adam and I went out for a smoke, we had a ten minute break. That's when I saw my friends; Turner was there so were Steve and Jessie. Then Adam began to talk about Roach, something he didn't mention in math class. He was in jail for having a couple hits of acid, he was being charged with attempted murder. I guess acid can kill, but Adam said Roach was going to contest it by telling the courts it was only for personal use, which it was. We hoped to see him soon, so in his memory we ditched class and decided to drop some acid. We were five but our only connection was the Doctor. The problem was he sells only a minimum of eight hits at a time. So we decided that we would each do two hits, that's ten in all, no problem, coming to about 30 bucks. The Doctor was called and we were to meet him in half an hour at Denver Park. We left school, fuck class this is way better what friends we were.

### We met the Doctor did the deal, then he went away into the forest. We dropped together at the same time and sat in a circle in the middle of the park. It hit us all at the same time, about an hour later.

My feelings so remote clicking on and off of the conversation. There was a blinding sight of oppression, to blow up around my friends. I was trying to escape the lightness of the day, killing the wicked sun god. Trying to escape the day, dreams mixing in the real world. I didn't realize it till later but everything I was thinking I was saying out loud. Adam spoke, I was freaking him out, he loved it telling me I was the most ingenious spokes person. They all wanted me to keep going; it was hypnotic. The flying colours sank beneath me to start revealing the revolution. Feeling like a child, a happy soul. They were all focused on me with amazed eyes sinking into a Zen like state. Then we all started to laugh, we laughed for at least ten minutes non-e stop. Fuck, all I said was why the squirrel fell out of the tree, they looked puzzled, I told them it was dead, that's when it hit.

### Chapter ten

### Chapter ten

It was Wednesday and there was going to be a sophomore beginning-of-the-year dance. I could only think of one person to ask. Do I dare to talk to my first love, the love I had never spoken to before. How could I break the plane door open and let me out of the screams of sexual experience.

The day started with math class and there I sat beside Adam and Janet. I had told Adam what I was going to do, he bet me 20 bucks Janet wouldn't go for it. To prove him wrong and up my ego I turned to Janet and spoke. We talked for the first time even though our past was filled with an unspoken passion. I asked her straight up if she'd go to the dance with me. Without hesitation she agreed, I couldn't believe it, she said yes. We didn't even know each other in the world of spoken words. I just made 20 bucks, bitch. It was funny because after finally talking to Janet, we couldn't stop from speaking to each other. We had so much in common, especially the sensation of rubbing against each other, in pure madness.

After class I bummed a smoke off Adam and went to the smoking section and shared a cigarette with Janet. We also met at lunch all alone sitting on the bleachers of the football field. That's when I found out she had a crush on me since the moment she saw me. I was silent for a moment not expecting what she would say next, but it blew up in my face, I didn't feel used any longer. I pondered on this crush thing but I figured so, the moment I went all the way to home plate without the slight whisper. Only the moaning sounds coming from my mouth, and the screaming of Janet as if she were in pain. The second time though I remembered nothing at all. I try and try but still don't even know whether I lived up to her standards. Her mouth came up to my ear and you were the first popped up, boom my ego flew. After hearing that I no longer felt intimidated by her, I actually felt closer to her. It was though we had a connection more than the stars do when forming Orion.

For only the second day of school, this was the second time I skipped class. After lunch Janet and I went to my place, no body [nobody] home but a lonely cat minding his own business, but if he wanted to watch I'd let him. I'm sure it would make his day romping the couch on the way to his litter box. We had slept together twice already, but this time around she just wanted to make out a little bit. Going all the way was far from her mind. In a way we had started a relationship and wanted to take it slow. She wanted to wait until our partnership had reached a true love, together as girlfriend and boyfriend starting from scratch. A slow process leading to my third time, so in the meantime acid would be my pleasure zone. So we made out on the couch in my living room, with our shirts off doing first base shit. A while went by and I got up telling her to wait a minute. I went into the basement and cracked open a bottle of red wine and brought it upstairs. I poured us each a glass and we sat together, my arm over her shoulders, her hand on my thigh, we talked and talked. I found out she was a baseball player too during the summer, and, as if telling the world to fuck off, she stuck it to me telling my whole house hold that she was the best. Fuck, had I found true love or what, so to top it all off I asked what she did during the winter. She was a small figured woman and didn't look like much of a hockey player but she was. Holy shit, what was going on, so I told her about my hockey ego. Then looking at her face I could see her eyes glowing while she went for my pants. Taking it slow, I don't fucking think so, she was all down on me. That's when the panting started, and out of the corner of my eye all I saw was my cat taking in everything he could see as if he had put in a kitty porn movie. Without any other cats in the house he had to get his kicks somewhere. I was done, zipped up picked up the phone and called the Doctor.

Janet had a job as a hostess and had saved up some money for a good time. She had over 200 bucks in her bank account. Me I had 25 dollars, thanks to my mother's purse from that morning. I had called the Doctor to get some acid. The problem was that I had to but [buy] in large quantities, so eight hits it was, thinking of saving some for a mystical day. Roach had been in jouvi [juvie] since the cops caught him that day with the acid, so now the only connection me and my friends had was the Doctor. So I told Janet I'd get some acid but she refused, she would only smoke weed, hash and drink on some occasions.

I had already confirmed the buy off the Doctor, and couldn't cancel or I might loose the connection for everyone I knew. That's when Janet asked if he sold weed, I acknowledged, but told her he only sold big, but that didn't seem to bother her. That's right I forgot she had savings, and big amounts didn't stop her from becoming a weed freak. I mean a whole ounce for herself; of course she'd share, but what a buy. It was too late to call back the Doctor, he was probably already on his way to Denver Park. Hopefully he'd have some weed on him for Janet. We had to move fast, the Doctor didn't like it when we were late. So we took off down the street a few blocks to the bank. Janet withdrew her cash and off to the park we went. We were there on time, the Doctor wasn't there yet, oh shit my mistake, he was there sitting on the swing. I told him I was sorry for being late. No anger hit him he just smiled, putting his hard-ass figure behind. For Janet I asked him if he had by any chance some Mary Jane for sale. He asked me why I hadn't told him about this on the phone. I told him it was a last minute decision, scared a little; his facial expression was stabbing me right in the heart. Then he just smiled and told me he was just fucking with me. We asked him how much would be the minimum amount we would have to buy. He told me half an ounce, but asked how much we wanted. Then Janet spoke while showing the Doctor 180 bucks, how much for this was said at the same time. He looked around as if thinking, what would be good for me in this situation, then telling [told] us he'd only make this deal this once. A good deal, I tell yah, only because I was a good customer, good customer, this was the third time I've called him, oh well. I'll take whatever comes my way, a little luck here and there, right in front of my girl, my girlfriend. An ounce is what he offered for the 180 dollars. He made the exchange with Janet then gave me my acid eight at three bucks a piece, 24, I gave him a dollar tip and told him I'd be in touch. The Doctor said he was off to see the Wizard, he was running low. The Wizard was his connection, but he didn't mention him on any other occasion. Just before he left he quickly said that if a really large amount of any drug was needed, the Wizard was the man. But only this Doctor fellow could meet with this Wizard. We left back for my house and thought nothing of this Wizard guy. I mean why would we need more then a fucking ounce of weed in one shot. I would later be proven wrong in the future of this story.

Back at my house Janet and I went up to my room. I had decided not to drop acid because Janet begged me not to. She just wanted to smoke some weed together, a lot of weed, enough to send the spots of air growing on our eyes. We wanted to get really high, plus I hadn't smoked all day, so I knew it would hit me like a brick wall. So I rolled a two-gram joint and before smoking it Janet told me she had an idea. She wanted the weed to sink into our pores and she said the steam of a hot shower would do the trick. With the joint still in my hand, Janet pulled me towards my upstairs bathroom, after I told her where it was. She closed the bathroom door behind us and started the shower as hot as it could get. Janet started to get naked; she was so hot, reminding me of this girl Sherry from my Playboy collection. She was now in her birthday suit and told me to strip. So without hesitation I complied, took all of my clothes off and we jumped in the shower. The water was too hot to stand under so we directed the hose straight down and stood at the back of the tub. Janet then asked for the joint, still in my hand, I gave it to her and she lit it up. While passing it back and forth the smoke built up and mixed with the steam. I wasn't only getting high off the ganja; the steam was sinking into my body paralyzing, me from head to toe. Once the joint was done Janet turned off the shower and I sat down butt naked in the bath tub. She then sat with me and we cuddled, our naked bodies touching each other. We were like two Indians stuck in the cold wrapped around one another without any clothes, to keep warm. We sat there without saying a word, we were so stoned that without even knowing it we realized we were having sex. I felt nothing but pure ecstasy, with the moaning sound coming out weak, barely able to speak. That's when I passed out, too fucked up even to change, just lying there with no hope of waking up any time soon.

I woke up, my mom was home, my eyes looked down and there was Janet. Fuck the anxiety hit, I got Janet up and rushed her to my room. My mom was calling me from downstairs; I freaked and told her I was in my room. I was hoping my mother wouldn't go into the main bathroom, all of our clothes were still there. I gave Janet something to put on and dressed myself as well. My mom started to come up the stairs, [me] only picturing her finding the clothes. My excuse would have to be that I wear women's clothes in my free time or that, fuck I have no idea. My mom came to my bedroom door and didn't even knock; I pushed [as quick as possible—MOVED] Janet into my closet [as quick as possible]. Wide awake now, my mother asked me what I wanted for dinner, then she left [to go] into her room. I heard the door close and ran Janet down the stairs and out the door. During that time I had given her clothes back from the washroom, and told her to keep the ones I gave her. Before she left we agreed to meet each other at the dance at 7o'clock two nights from tonight.

### Chapter eleven

It was Thursday night, the night before the dance. It was a quiet one, having supper with my family and watching TV. Janet had given [me] some weed out of the kindness of her heart, shit she had enough to go around.

So all alone I went to the park and smoked a pinner to myself. Lied on the grass staring into the sky, the stars each their own galaxy shooting across the desserted [deserted] park. Some of the stars were disappearing, clouds blocking my view. So I looked towards the moon; it was full tonight, devil's night, where the lurking wolves shaped as people would come out. Something was going to happen tonight, but [I] wasn't sure exactly what to expect. I [It] was so peaceful, not a sound around, not even the whispering wind.

Then all of a sudden I heard what sounded like a firecracker. I got up and looked around, and nothing, I saw nothing. Then another one went off, I was losing my buzz, scared [a] little of unknown strangers. Then out popped Turner and Jessie, throwing cherry bombs in the middle of Denver Park, they stopped when seeing me. They came over and asked what I was doing; enjoying the night is what I told them. Then just like old times they said that it was garbage day tomorrow. The night before there was always plenty of cans to go around, so we took off to my house. Turner and Jessie already had their bikes stashed in the bushes, so we were off to get my dad's.

There was a problem, Turner was wrong; it wasn't garbage night so we went for the extremities [?extremes?] that people would do in this situation, mail boxes. So back at my house we grabbed each a hockey stick. With the power of the divine we went off to cause a ruckus. With no hands on our handle bars, we took turns batting the boxes into the night air. At one point Turner stopped and got off his bike, this was a dangerous idea; I knew it, the cops would come soon. But Jessie told me to relax, and to meet at the park if anything was to happen. So I watched Turner and Jessie put each a cherry bomb into a couple of mail boxes. Then not even a second later we all took off, watching behind us to see the explosion. They both went off and the boxes shattered. Then came the screaming voice of a fellow neighbor telling us he was going to call the cops. Right to Denver Park we went, but we got there through the back way where the unfinished houses were. We hid in the bushes beside the playground, what a rush. I knew the full moon would attack the innocent people in their slumber. The wolves were out and we were just getting started.

Turner and Jessie told me they were sneaking out later that night and wanted me to join them. Adam and Steve were also going to vampire the night away. They said Adam and them would be at Adam's father's house, his parent's were divorced. The problem was that his father lived on the other side of town. I mean it's not that far but far enough. So me and Steve were going to meet them half way at St Augusten. Jessie turned to me said he was to meet the Doctor later, and weed a plenty for the night ahead.

### I went back home thinking about the last joint I had but thought I'd save it for later. I was waiting for the late hours to come, but was very tired. So of course I fucking fell asleep for at least a couple hours. That's when I heard a knock at my bedroom window, it sounded like rock after rock hitting it. I went over looked outside and there was Steve calling me to come out. The slumber I had taken it made me late to meet the guys, I snuck out and we started to walk to meet Adam Turner and Jessie.

For some reason we weren't walking towards the school, we were going to Steve's house. I asked what was going on and he just smirked telling me not to worry. His parents were fast asleep of course, so we snuck in and went towards the garage door. This must have been a newer house; the floors didn't crack or make any sounds at all. I was wondering why someone would sneak back into their own house but went with it anyways. Steve said we would be late so he had a plan. That's when I saw him grab a pair of keys from the little hangers by the garage door. Then it hit, fuck we're going to steal his parents car, holy hell I was bursting with joy, for now anyways. We went back outside to his driveway, got into the car and drove off. He was telling me we wouldn't be late now. As we took off my joy turned in to a mellow sadness and major fright. He was driving like a freak on a leash ready to break the tide [tie?] that bonded [bound?] us from [to?] the house. I kept telling him he was going too fast but he didn't listen, he was just speeding down the back streets.

We then got into the school parking lot, and there were the guys, it looked like they had just arrived. Steve honked the horn and the guys raced towards the car screaming as happy souls and dancing while getting into the car. Adam took control of the car and we went out into the mountains outside of Summerville. I felt safer with Adam driving; we were doing the speed limit on this dirt road. That's when Turner pulled out his paintball gun rolled down his window from the back and started shooting the multicolored rounds onto the passing trees. We joy-ridded for a while in [on] these unknown paths of darkened roads, then headed back into Summerville. Now in the city we took turns paint-balling all the oncoming street signs. Then we could hear sirens, the sound was getting closer. So we parked in someone's drive way [driveway], turned off the lights and hid; the cop car went right by without a glance. We were home free, for now; we decided it was time to call it a night; the sun was to rise soon. Steve had to get the car back before his parents were to wake. Adam was still driving and dropped off Turner and Jessie then drove himself home, where Steve took over the controls. Here we go, I thought we started to go faster and faster. Adam's father lived off a gravel road at the end of Summerville. So as Steve and I drove down this gravel road he was going at least 150km per hour, my heart was beating with fear, and my mind [was] fearing death.

Coming up was a 90-degree turn, well it felt like one, and Steve turned the wheel too far and the car tipped onto two wheels as they skidded on the gravel. The car flipped twice and ended up in the ditch on its roof. The whole time we were screaming, thinking that that was it we were going to die. The crash seemed like it lasted for a long fucking time but only seconds had gone by. We were upside down and looked at one another, felt ourselves for cuts and bruises. Neither one of us had a scratch on us. We just got out of the car and Steve grabbed the keys and started to walk off. I stopped him, we couldn't leave the car like this we would definitely get caught. So I reached into the car pulled open the floor board underneath the stirring wheel and pulled the wires apart. That way it would look stolen, like somebody had hotwired it. We thought we were free and clear but we had to get those keys back and back fast.

The sun was beginning to rise and we were at least four km from Steve's and my house. We wouldn't make it, what was going on; we needed a plan and a fast one too. So we took off running, we ran for at least five minutes until we saw two bikes laying on some guy's front lawn. Without hesitation we took them and raced all the way to Denver Park where we ditched the bikes, in the bush. The sun was still coming up, we were fast I tell you; I'd never biked that fast before. So we split ways; Steve went home and so did I.

I got into my room but couldn't sleep, I was too anxious, fearful for the life and troublesome problems that might occur if he got caught. I wondered if we were in the clear and if not what would he tell the police, would I be charged, I was scared and couldn't wait to walk to school with Steve and find out the story of our lives. Something then crawled up into my body and I fell asleep, dreaming not of the happy ending but the ending where everybody dies.

### Morning came and quickly it did, that's what a couple of hours of sleep gives. I went to the park to meet Steve before school started. He showed up a little later, I was curious as a cat watching the act of sex. I sparked up my last joint and he told me the whole story.

He got home before his parents had gotten up and replaced the keys where [they] previously were. He went to his room and tried to sleep but couldn't. Not 20 minutes later there was a knock at the door. It woke up his parents and they went to answer it. It was the police and they broke the news to his parents that their [car] had been stolen in the night. The cops continued by telling them that they found the car wrecked on the side of the road near the outskirts of Summerville. This whole time Steve said he was standing by his door listening to the conversation. So we sat there smoking and thanking God even though a trip to hell is where we were going. He also mentioned that the cops said it had to have been hotwired, plus they had found a paintball gun in the car. He kept telling me this story and my heart was pumping and craving for more, this story was out of my mind with craziness. Supposedly the cops were saying these thieves were causing a ruckus all night long, shooting up the town. And that was that. We were home free, yes, what a relief. Now having to go to the principal's office for this skipping class deal seemed like being hit with a pellet compared to a bullet, I was ready.

### Chapter twelve

I hadn't seen Janet that day, dance day, hoping it was still on. I had an in- school suspension and couldn't leave till the end of school.

I had skipped school too many times in my first week, and it caught up to me. After being stuck in the office all day I went looking for Janet in the smoking section. I saw everyone I knew but Janet, where was she I thought maybe she didn't want me like before, but I planned to call her once getting home. I started towards the guys and they were still talking about last night, and Turner asked about his paintball gun. That morning Steve and I decided to keep this [our] incident a secret and as for the gun we had no idea. They kept saying what a trip it was and that we should do it again. Steve jumped in right there saying that it was our turn to steal a car, he had done his part and it was going to be the last.

After the talking ended I asked them if they had seen Janet at all that day and if so where was she. Adam said she was in math class but that was it, not even at lunch did she turn up. But Janet and I had an understanding, we were to meet at the dance, I knew that in the back of my head so the worry faded. Then I asked the boys if they were going to the dance, before that day I knew they hadn't asked anybody. But in a surprised suspense cradleling [cradling] in the atmosphere they all spoke saying yes at the same time. Good for them now we could go all together and party as a gang with their girls baby.

I left school with Steve; we were going to go home till the dance. We parted ways at Denver Park and I went home. I was ready to party tonight, not much of a dancer, but I'd do it for Janet. I had dress pants and a buttoned up shirt, no tie though it was only a semi formal dance. I came towards my house when I saw Janet sitting at my doorstep having a smoke. I knew my parents weren't going to be here for a while so it didn't really bother me, but I brought her into my backyard just in case. She asked me if we could get together a bit before the dance for a little drink while smoking most of her leftover pot. It was no problem I thought, so we kissed and off she went. We'd meet at Denver Park later, this would be a night to remember, I could feel it.

### I kept thinking about all that acid I had, I'd had it for a couple days and still hadn't touched it. Tonight wasn't the night, Janet wouldn't do it with me, so I didn't want to ruin the evening. For a rainy day I guess, just the boys, plus hockey was starting soon. I couldn't wait to try playing hockey on acid, skating around at the peak of my buzz. I'd probably trip out and start going in circles, it was worth a try.

Janet wanted to drink, so back into the liquor cabinet I went, before my parents got home. Shit it was getting empty, so empty it started to show. I stole a lot this summer and this would have to be the last. But I couldn't, there was no way of doing it without getting caught. My brain started to work in overdrive, I was going to make the meanness mix. Into a water bottle went some gin, vodka, tequila, and a large amount of whisky. This would be like swallowing a mixture of cough syrup and sour milk with an after-taste of pine needles from the gin.

I went up to my room [and?] got ready; I was to meet Janet soon. I got into my semi formal wear, they were a little tight. I'm used to baggy cloths [clothes], but that's the way Janet wanted me to look. I'd do almost anything for that girl. She has given me so much pleasure, I couldn't even explain the pure love I felt for Janet.

It was around 7 o'clock, time to meet Janet at the park. When I got there she was by herself, I could smell the weed already. I walked up to her and she passed me the joint. She told me she had put a little surprise in it that would make my body flap around on the dance floor. I knew it wasn't acid, crystal meth, heroin or even crack, so I didn't know what was going on. She called it a salad, and I smoked it, I could taste the weed and some other taste. It reminded me of the bt's I had cooked with Roach and the time Adam and I cooked the tar in the bottle. Hash, happy I had figured it out, I said [it] out loud. She smiled and told me I was right on the money. A few seconds later I could feel every bone in my body needing to jump out and move around. I couldn't stand still and started to dance with Janet right there in the park. She was dancing along with me, what a fucking body buzz that hash gives out. Then She [she] pulled back and said she wanted some alcohol to cool down I agreed. I needed to chill out a bit with my mind racing and my body tingling, a drink would be really good right about now. I wasn't sure what this liquor mix would do to Janet, it was some harsh stuff. It was a ghetto concoction but she started to chug. I couldn't believe that shit was going down so easily for her. She passed the water bottle to me and I started to drink, gross, but I didn't stop drinking. I wanted to show her I could take it, so trying not to puke I did what I could. Next thing I knew Janet had finished the bottle, the drunkenness was going to hit, but please I asked don't let her pass out. This was our first date, and she was screaming for the spirits to come out and grab her and fly her to the school. That's it I had to calm her down, I grabbed her bag of weed rolled a tiny joint for her. She was dancing all over the park, she was making too much noise. I mean I was drunk too but in a mellow situation, she had definitely drank more than me in a short period of time. I decided to roll myself a little joint as well. I called her over and she came running, screaming my name, I want to fuck you right now, that's what she blurted out of her mouth. I paid no attention she was too hammered, so I lite her joint [and] passed it to her. She came into a melancholy state and off to the dance we went.

We got to school right on time and saw Adam there with his girl, the blonde that was in the park the night me and Janet met. The blonde's name was Sara and when we walked up to them Sara and Janet went into the dance. Adam and I stayed back for a minute; he wanted to talk to me. He pulled out two tabs of acid and gave me one on my tongue, fuck it I thought, and I'd try to hide the acid buzz from Janet, yah right. I told Adam I'd treat him some other time, thinking of my jail time stash I had at home.

We walked into the school and our girls were all dancing to some fast songs. Across the dance floor sitting down were Steve, Jessie and Turner so we went over to join them. I could see Janet and Sara dancing together, boy did they ever have the moves. So I asked the guys, Adam as an exception, were [where] their girls were. They had been ditched and didn't show so they were going to eat up the fresh meat of all the single ladies here at the dance. Just like Adam and I they were waiting for the slow songs to come. Then came one and off we went, I went straight for Janet, Adam for Sara, and the others went hunting and caught a few birds. During the song Janet and I were rubbing against each other not really dancing but a mystical humping. The song ended and us guys went back to sit down together. That's when it felt like something was crawling up on me, a rush from head to toe. It was the beginning, only the beginning of my acid trip.

Everything started to move faster, the music blasting into my head. It delivered me into a great meditation up on the volume, setting me straight into consumption. The drugs wanting me to change, I rearranged into the songs. Feeling like a monkey, I want to move, I want to get up and jump around. The music pumping right into me, going crazy. In and out I was a beast living in the evening, moving with the black lights spinning. Who blew up the school into different colours, crawling into the figures. My mind flowing from obedient remorse's [remorse], demands more virtues to satisfy my hunger of the singing soul music.

A slow song came and we went to dance, Adam and I couldn't stand straight falling over each other. I tried to hide the fact that I was peaking while moving towards Janet. As we danced she asked me how I was, I just told her that I was in need of some weed. So as the song ended she passed me some rolled ganja and told me to go have fun. She had plans for us later and didn't want the night to end. So [we] went our separate ways. Janet and Sara went to the washroom and when I sat back down with the guys I pulled out the joint. So in the girl's' example we heeded [headed] to the washroom ourselves to smoke the weed I had.

We got back to the dance and so were Janet and Sara dancing away. I sat there feeling like my skin was melting away I shook it off and went to dance, even though it was a fast song. The guys were watching me move my body like it was a rag doll and without control. Adam showed up behind me and started dancing himself. Then a slow song hit and Janet stopped me from dancing, I had no idea what I was doing or what music was playing, slow or fast. So I stopped and we grabbed each other, and while tripping out I whispered something into Janet's ear. I told her I wanted to get the fuck out of there and go chill somewhere quiet. She left me and pulled Sara from Adam, I told him how I felt and without hesitation he thought it would be a great idea. At the same time Janet and Sara came over and said they'd love to go.

### We left Steve, Turner and Jessie behind but they were high enough not to care. So for their sakes I asked Janet for some weed, she handed me a gram and gave it to the boys, they seemed happy and off we went. I thanked Janet but it was no bother, she said holding me close as we walked out the door.

I hadn't even totally peaked yet and Janet, Sara, Adam and I went to Denver Park. We rolled around in the grass making out with our girls reaching a galaxy of ecstasy and pure motor impact without penetration. That whole night neither Janet nor Sara knew we were on acid; they left just as we hit the peak of our existence and messed up state of mind. It was 1 o'clock. The girls left, and Adam and I without fear in our mind left Denver Park. We sat in the middle of the silent road with just the street light to guide our eyes into a blurry bug-seeing view. Even as cars came by we didn't move an inch, laughing at the poor suckers having to swerve, a little game called chicken without a car but our bodies to fright [?frighten?]. We could hear the sirens, they were getting closer and closer but we couldn't even move paralyzed by the peaking atmosphere. The cop car stopped right in front of us, the lights blinding my mind of any excuse that could be given in this situation.

We were at the police station in lock-up, without even remembering how we got there. They had put us there to cool down; they knew we were fucked up on something. My buzz was wearing off; it was about 4 o'clock in the morning and I turned to Adam to see that he was sleeping while sitting on the toilet. It didn't take long for me to follow in his footsteps, minutes later I passed out. We were woken by a police officer and they let us go, they had nothing to hold us on. Once outside the sun started to rise and we were dead tired still, we had only slept half an hour at the station. Adam and I still had time to get home and sneak in before our parents were to wake. We said our goodbyes and [I] headed home, passing out on my bed. Every bone in my body was dead. It was the best sleep I had had since I don't know when.

### Chapter thirteen

Hockey try-outs were starting today and I knew Steve and Adam would be there. Turner and Jessie weren't hockey players, so they played indoor soccer. Steve was good like me, just like we were with baseball. But Adam was more of a bully, hitting people for no reason; he didn't make the competitive team SHA, Summerville Hockey Association. Steve and I made the team but only the scouts picked us not the coache's [coaches] because there were none.

### Before the season was to start the new coach had signed our team up for a tournament in the town of Gunsman. Steve and I wanted to get some weed for the trip. So we were going to put our money together and get a big bash of pot.

When I got home from my hockey practice I could see my mother crying in the kitchen so I went to see what was wrong. She told me that my father had just left us. Fucking son-of-a-bitch, leaving us like we were garbage on the side of the road. I asked where he went and my mother said she didn't know but that he wouldn't be back. I had nothing but anger towards him but couldn't stop thinking of my little brother living now as a bastared [bastard] childhood [child]. I had, for some reason, no sympathy for my mother, she was always bothering him. So I blamed her until she told me he was fed up with the fact she was taking money from his wallet every day. Telling her he wasn't the bank, she denied taking the money but he called her a liar and took off.

So without the slight bit of concern about my parents' break up, I was thinking about getting some money for the hockey tournament. My mother's purse was empty and with my dad gone I had no income so came the last resort. I asked my mother for a few bucks for the tournament for food. She told me no problem but that she would go to the bank later, she was still crying.

That's when the idea hit, why I had [had I] not thought of this before. My mother had thousands in her bank; if only I could get to it I'd be rich with weed. I knew my mom had to go to the bank to get me my money so I decided I would go with her. I was the worst son with an idea to crush a mother; [a] son bound to a life-changing run of respect. Hitting her while she was down, I was going to hell and I knew it. But as you see into the future I'm not the only one, a broken trust was to come.

My mother said she was off to the bank to get me some money and as she was leaving I told her that I needed to go there too. I had to check my account balance. My bank account was empty but as an excuse I was on my way. In the car my mom asked why I needed money if I had some in my bank. What was I going to say? I thought as quickly as possible and responded. I told her that I had worked for Steve's dad a little and he was going to direct deposit my earnings into the bank. I continued by telling her that if the money was there I wouldn't have to borrow any from her. She believed me and off to the bank we went. Once at the bank my mother went to the machine first, there was only one machine. I stood right behind her waiting for my turn. She put her card in; I was looking over her shoulder and saw her type in her pin code. It was that easy I thought, 3233 easy enough to remember and I sure fucking did. After pretending to play around with my account I turned to her and made a motion that the money wasn't there yet, so she gave me 20 bucks. She had taken a 100 out at that point and all she gave me was a 20 thanks mom.

So came the night around 11 o'clock, and off I went on a thieves' journey. My mom leaves her purse in the stairs, so in I went. I took her bank card and my dad's bike; he had left behind, and peddled [pedaled] towards the bank. I was going to do a double take; there was a maximum amount I could take per day and midnight was a new day. The bank was pretty far by bike so I got there around 11:45pm. I put the card in and typed in the password numbers, 3233, into the account I was. But I had to figure out the max amount that could be taken out. I started at 1000 and went down from there and then it finally worked at 600 dollars, so I withdrew. It was now ten to 12, I had time to spare. My heart was racing with excitement; the boys would bow to me with all the weed I was going to get. I was thinking that the Doctor would have to introduce me to the Wizard it was a large amount and that was his specialty. There was a corner store right beside the bank so in I went to kill some time. I picked up a few candy bars, chips and a coke, by then it was after 12 so I went to the counter for my purchases. It was really late and an old guy was working the store, so I gave it a shot and asked for a pack of smokes. A little nervous trying not to shake or swallow too loudly, he asked me my age. I told him 19, he looked me up and down and put a pack on the counter. He wondered why I was out this late, barely anyone comes in at closing time, I had just made it. I said I was working the night shift at the local gas station; he just smiled and closed up as I left. I then went back into the bank [and] took out the max 700 bucks. I knew the second time would be a hundred more because of the 100 mother took out before only let 600 out. I put the cash in an envelope in my pocket and rode home. I put the card back, went to the back door leading to the patio, went outside, munched and smoked my cigarette. I couldn't wait till tomorrow, my friends would openly hug me and go on a weed frenzy. What a hockey trip it would be too, hot boxing our hotel rooms.

I had enough cash for at least seven ounces, what a score that would be, we would all be happy souls doped up for about a couple months. I called up Adam and told him to meet me at Denver Park, I had a surprise. I knew his face would light up with such pleasure. Then I called the Doctor and said I needed the Wizard, I was ready to make a big score. I gave him my number, he was going to call me back. When he called eight ounces is what I would get, with pure excitement I said it was a go. He was going to meet us at the park and bring us to the Wizard. So off I went.

My mother stopped me and told me I had to take of my brother for a couple hours. I told her I was busy, but she insisted, I said to call a babysitter. But it was too late; this was a spur of the moment kind of deal. I asked why, she said one of her friends had a heart attack and was on the verge of death. Good excuse but the timing was wrong, I wouldn't be able to meet the Wizard today so I quickly called the Doctor back but he said it was too late I had to make the exchange or I'd regret it. So I had to figure out a way to make this connection. I knew I could trust Adam so it was up to him to make the deal. I told my mom to give me five minutes, she told me to hurry and off I went. I got to the park and there was Adam and Steve was with him, I invited them to my place before the Doctor was to show up. I got home and my mother left right away.

I went into the backyard with Adam and Steve and told them about my score. Steam was coming out of their ears, and the smiles on their faces excited me as well. The Wizard situation was my biggest problem and they understood. So I passed them the 1500 dollars in an envelope they were to go for me. Meeting me at the park after dark, we laughed, dreaming of that time to come, we wanted to roll a gram joint, fuck I was full of anxiety. They took off to see the Doctor and I waited like a car out of gas watching TV while my brother was screaming for me to play with him. I couldn't stop thinking about the weed. I had two hours to kill, so I played some video games with my brother to shut him up. My mom hadn't shown up yet and I was half an hour late to meet the guys. I heard the garage open, ran out to see her said my goodbyes and took off, without even asking about how her friend was doing, what a prick I was.

I ran to the park and nobody was there yet. So I waited and waited my mind racing with happiness, that ounce joint would make me fall right to the ground reminiscing about nothing, talking but not being heard. Mumbling into the air, not able to play, just looking at my surroundings, a vision of misplaced ants the gods trying to step on the grounds. Having to move to avoid being squished into the ground. I was getting worried, what was going on. That's when I saw someone; it was Turner, what was he doing here, maybe he went with Steve and Adam, I wasn't sure. My findings were true; out popped the guy's right behind Turner. They all had a smirk on there faces, like the time I first saw Steve and Adam. They came up to me and gave me a bag of weed; only about one ounce was in the bag, I was puzzled. Supposedly Steve and Adam gave Turner the money at the Doctor's recommendation, to pick up the weed. The Doctor knew Turner more than the other guys and felt more comfortable with him. Turner had been ripped off; the Wizard stole the money and ran off. The Doctor was really sorry so [he]gave Turner an ounce, to roll [?smooth?] things over, but fuck where was my money.

I was pissed off and totally blamed Turner. I told [asked] him how could that happen. He said the Wizard was a big guy and he couldn't do anything about it. I told him that he was a big guy too and asked why he didn't go after my money. So to cool me down he said the Wizard had a gun and told the Doctor and Turner they would fucking die if they did something. Now not only was my money gone but our drug connection went up in smoke. The Doctor had nowhere to turn so we were fucked but me the most. I felt like beating on Turner but he was way bigger than me. I thought how Adam and Steve could put the money in some other's hands when I trusted them with it together, my friends for fuck's sake. I mean Turner was a friend too, but he just screwed me over big time. I was so confused I didn't know who to blame, I'd meet that Wizard one day and I would kill him, I swear to God I would. I took the bag of weed and went right home leaving the guys empty handed, no weed for them, not for tonight anyways. The ounce joint was now far out of the picture.

### Chapter fifteen

The next day was the hockey tournament. I was still pissed off about my being totally jacked from the mistake of a friend. That wizard was going to pay. The bus was going to meet us at the hockey arena and off we would go to Gunsman. I packed my bag of clothes including my bag of weed and my hits of acid I had saved, for no better time than now. So I grabbed my backpack and hockey bag and my mother drove me to the arena; we picked up Steve on the way. I wasn't really mad at Steve, he did what he could, I guess I couldn't blame him, still feeling the anger though.

I was supposed the [to] meet Adam at the arena to sell him four hits of acid. I didn't feel comfortable bringing that much with me. I mean all that plus the bag of weed; I'd be screwed, if caught. I was going to surprise Adam and give him two of the four hits free because of the dance, where he treated me to some acid. I don't know why I was being so nice, I mean they fucked me over but why cry. Just sink into laughter and forget about it, friends forgive.

I was saving four of the hits for me and Steve, but so far with my luck I'd get beaten with the depression [?anticipation?] of getting caught.

### It was almost time to get on the bus to leave and there was no sign of Adam anywhere. So without a choice my little stash I was planning on taking had just grown. I didn't want to go to juvenile hall like Roach; I would have to be careful, keeping it close to my crotch. Off we went, Gunsman was two hours away. I had already sold two tabs of acid to Steve; we were planning on peaking while playing our hockey games. I sat next to Steve on the bus and he pulled out a brand new walkman. I started questioning him, where did he get that I asked. He told me he paid for it with his allowance, but I thought at 10 bucks a week that's a lot of saving to do for a hundred dollar toy. That purchase just blew right passed me, I believed him and the negative thoughts shot away.

We arrived at the town of Gunsman, and went straight to our hotel rooms; we didn't have a game that night, just in the morning. Some how the word got around that I had acid for sale and I didn't like the attention. There were so many of my teammates almost waiting in line for a little bit of orgasmic medication. I had no choice I had to go for the highest bidder. I was very un tamed [?inexperienced?] about this, total [totally] unfashionable people crashing down on me. So I ended up selling two hits to my teammate Chris and another to Jordan, I told them that if asked they didn't get it from me or I'd pull out their hearts and throw them into the lake for a fisherman to find. But it would be too late by then.

Our game was to start at 7 am, so if Steve and I dropped at around 2:30 am, it would hit us at 3:30, and by 7:30 our peak would satisfy my eternal needs. On the ice we'd be like guys trying to fuck and skate at the same time. Waiting for the moment to arrive we just smoked some of the weed I had, the "free weed" the Doctor gave me sending his condolences; fuck, I couldn't stop thinking of what I had lost, I should have gone with them. Then 2:30 showed up and off it went into my mouth, what a trip this would be.

While waiting for the acid to kick in, we played cards. Steve and I were in the same room all alone, we'd have to be quiet and [not] cause any attention towards us. No ruckus to come, just the silent laughter and philosophy of the world. I was a genius in the words of meditation seeing everything through the untamed sight. We started to feel a little rush beginning so we sat back in our beds and watched TV. Still rushing we got a knock at the door it was the coach telling us it was time to get ready for the trip to the arena. It was 5:30, we slowly got ready, got on the bus and ended up in the dressing room. I was tingling all over and my brain was washed up with joy. I got dressed and waited for the ice to be ready. That's when I saw Chris in the corner of the dressing room half dressed and crying like a baby wanting his milk. He was having a really bad trip, this was going to come around and kick me right in the ass, I knew it, I was screwed. He was going to rat me out like a victim would a killer.

The coach then came in and told us to get on the ice, I got the hell out of there and saw the coach staying behind to talk to Chris. But my happiness ruled over the little panic attack, it felt like I was skating on air, floating around the ice. My head was like a satellite programming my thoughts. Someone told a joke, were they laughing at me, I'll take it and laugh at myself with a smile lighting up to express it all. Only my inner happiness was describing my feelings at this moment.

Chris had ratted me out, he was tripping real bad. So without a speech yet or a put down the coach benched me and I just sat there having fun with my finger, loop to loop to loop. Now bored with my half game finger party, I started to freak out, I was picturing everybody's skates coming towards me and cutting me into pieces. Then my buzz went bad, I had just started to picture all the trouble I was actually in. Chris must have ratted me up [out], but Steve wasn't benched, he got away Scot free. Chris not only told the coach that I was high but that I had sold it to him. Fuck, I didn't want to end up like Roach. I was getting really paranoid and I couldn't stay still so I went off to the dressing room. While on the bench though, Jordan seemed to be having a really good trip falling over himself and lying on the ice laughing, just like Steve. So Chris is all I needed to worry about.

I got into the dressing room and there was Chris lying on the benches staring at the ceiling, so I did the same. He began talking to me, telling me how beautiful the stars were in this bright night. He said he could see the A&W bear just standing there, shit what was going on. After being alone for a while he straightened up and heightened his crazy feelings. I joined him turning my buzz into a vast pool swimming with Chris and before drowning him I was going to risk his life on my words. But it was too late I could no longer talk to Chris; the game must have been over. The players and Coach made their way into the change room. I had to get to Chris before my whole shit house burst into jail.

It turns out all Chris said was that I was present when the acid was bought. He told the coach that we had purchased it off some guy in the hotel lobby. Why he brought me into this mess, I don't know, but I guess that it was the only thing he could come up with. It was a lot better than the alternative, the jail time I was going to observe. I'm sure he could have come up with a better idea, but fuck, being on acid and getting caught is nothing compared to selling the stuff.

We all started to undress when the coach told me and Chris to stay back, most likely for some kind of lecture, I'll take [it,] I told myself, now this I could live with. Everyone was gone and the coach told us we could no longer play in this tournament. For some reason he wasn't sending us home or telling our parents, he just said that our hockey privileges were gone. He meant we were kicked out of the league, and the excuse for our parents was up to us. I already knew what I'd tell my mom that I quit, it just wasn't up to my standards. I was too good and it wasn't fun anymore. I was still pissed off at Chris, why he said my name and not some other teammate. Even to this day I'm still not sure, maybe my name was the first one that came to his head. Another possibility is that he could have almost told the coach what happened, but in the middle of the truth he changed his mind and my name was already out there. Oh well it could have been worst [worse], joining Roach for a while.

I got out of the room and went looking for Steve, nowhere to be seen. Like a cat chasing a mouse in a huge maze of this frantic arena. I got outside the arena and decided to find Steve. I was going to smoke myself a little ganja. So I went behind the arena where I knew there were picnic benches. When I got to the back I saw Steve with Jordan smoking some weed, it had to be Jordan's weed; Steve had no money. He just bought himself a walkman, so I went to check it out.

I snuck over to Steve and pushed him to the ground from the neck, as I grabbed twisted and threw him down. I was going to beat him but he started to scream out that it wasn't his fault. I asked how where and what happened, the weed and the walkman. He told me that Turner sold him the weed and the walkman was a gift for him and Adam. All due to the fact that they went along with Turner throughout the whole idea. The perfect scam, an early Christmas, well bah humbug he took my cash and I wasn't going to let that go unpunished. Still pissed I just took his weed and left, back to the hotel I went. But that was only after I smashed his fucking walkman, I tell yah it wasn't going to work now. I looked back while walking away and Steve looked pissed off; it was going to be an all out war back in Summerville.

### I reacted viciously and without thinking and that wasn't going to be my downfall, Friendless like before, who cares, and they would pay even if I go down in flames. Broken bones here and there well I'll grab one and continue the fight. Once trusted never to trust again, the extreme will happen like the lights from the sky shot down and strangle their lives away.

While my teammates were playing hockey me and Chris just smoked blunt after blunt. Walking all over the little town of Gunsman, wrecking [wreaking] havoc and vandalizing, throwing rocks at whatever was smash able.

I hadn't seen Steve since the time I stole his weed, but I imagine he was pretty pissed off. The fruitful friendship desecrating [?disintegrating?] into a pile of dust without an oasis to bring us back together. I was anxious to see Turner, a life lost in a power of greed. I want to hear it from [person to delete this?] [?him in?] person, his explanation of where the hell my money and my weed went.

### Chapter sixteen

### Back in Summerville, it was an early Monday morning. I arrived at school, without walking with Steve and went right to the smoking section. Once there I saw Steve talking to Turner, they looked like they were in a deep conversation, most likely about my bad behavior. Adam was nowhere to be seen but Jessie was standing all alone. So I went up to him and we started talking. To the best of my knowledge he had nothing to do with the

jacked-up situation. After a short time Janet came into my view, she walked right up to me. It seemed that Adam, Janet and Jessie were my last trusting friends. Wait there goes Adam, he walked right by everyone towards the school door, he was showing off his new fucking clothes. It hit me like bird shit; Adam was in on the scam too.

I lost my concentration because Janet started to talk to me; she had tickets to go see the Smashing Pumpkins, three of them actually. She invited me and who ever else I wanted to bring. That's when I thought about Adam, Steve and Turner the ones who caused a plane crash of trust. I could only think of the only man left in my circle it was Jessie. So I asked, and he seemed excited for the piercing music that was to come. It was short notice, the concert was tonight but we were all available to make it. The show was about five miles west of Summerville in some little club of [for] all ages. My mother was going to give us a ride there and we would have to take a cab back which my mom agreed to pay for. I would worry about the guys later; it was time to concentrate on the concert. Jessie and Janet were to meet at my house then off we would go. Janet came a little earlier, to have some alone time. We went up to my room and started making out; she blew me hard then the door bell rang. Jessie had arrived, so I called to my mom telling her it was time to go. Off we went to see the pumpkins smashing.

My mother dropped us off at the club and we went towards the front doors. Once my mom was gone we went to go hide in a bush near the club. I pulled out my weed and I began rolling a spiff, a nice big one for three. I looked up at Jessie, he pulled out a mini baggy there were a few little tabs in it, he told us it was ecstasy and that it would fuck us up on a grand scale. I told him I'd pass; weed would be my drug of choice tonight. So he offered Janet some and to my great surprise she agreed to try it out. Jessie had to convince her for a while but she ended up swallowing it on the spot. It was kind of funny Jessie didn't take one himself; I wondered what was going on. So now that we were nice and stoned we headed into the club. Janet's ecstasy had not kicked in yet but [she] was stoned right now from the weed.

Once in the club people were mashing, dancing, body surfing, the colours were hypnotic. The beams of the crystal ball were fingering me out in the crowed all staring out at me like a lottery winner. Jessie and I jumped right in pushing and punching people, the unknown strangers laughing at the destruction of each and every bruise. After a while we were sweaty and extremely tired, so we went off to take a break. We started to look for Janet, she was nowhere to be found. We asked a bouncer if he saw a small brunette leave at any point. He said she had been gone for close to half an hour. [ago-delete]. We left the concert to go and find her, clearly accepting the fact that once out of the club there was no going back, if you leave you're out for good. We found Janet around the corner lying on the ground right on her back, she looked passed out. We tried to wake her but it wasn't working; we slapped her and shook her, no response. She needed to go to the hospital, I was scared but Jessie had no facial expression at all. Even though I had never tried ecstasy I wasn't sure if this passing out charade was the right turns [turn] of events.

So I got into a cab, there were a bunch outside the club, to the hospital is what I told the driver. It would be a long ride back to the closest hospital in Summerville, five miles away. Once at the hospital, Janet was still without response so the nurses took her right away. For some reason Jessie didn't want to stick around, he was paranoid, but I didn't understand. That's when I realized Jessie must have given some major drug poisoning, to cause almost death to my girlfriend. After that thought I didn't want to stick around either; I was afraid so we left.

We decided to go home expecting a call from Janet's parents soon; the later it gets the more they would worry. On the way we stopped by Denver Park, it was Jessie's idea; he wanted to smoke a little before heading off. So we sat on the swings and I started to roll a joint. I kept thinking about Janet, I was hoping she'd be all right [alright], I was getting kind of worried. We'd sparked up the joint when Adam showed up, walking right towards us, perfect timing, I was ready to confront him about the clothes factor. So I began talking to him, I asked where he got them; he said as a birthday gift. I had no idea when his birthday was so it could be true but I didn't believe it for one second. Straight up I asked if Turner fucked me over and if so I said if he got a cut of my precious money and weed. He told me to talk to Turner because he wasn't the problem it was all Turner's fault. Then Adam yelled to his boys to come out and I saw Steve and Turner come out of the darkness.

I passed the joint to Jessie [then] got up and walked right up to Turner and gave him a little push telling [asking] him face to face where my weed and money was. He pushed back and told me to fuck off, he called me an idiot, saying that yes, it was true he did keep the money. Without a pause he continued his story, my anger was storming I wanted to put him to the floor and beat the living shit out of him. I was at my boiling point [when] he told me about the walkman, the clothes, the weed and the tabs of crystal meth. The meth, it must be what Jessie gave Janet, I realized she could die. Why I thought, everybody seemed to be in on this collision course slapping me back into a dead trust like my [the] old friends I had before moving here. But my anger was directed at Turner the ring leader, controlling his little ants following him like a marching band.

I threw a punch at Turner and hit him right in the chin, he almost went down. So I went to hit him again when Adam grabbed my arms from behind letting Turner to get a few shots on me. Punching me in the stomach, Adam let me go and I fell to the ground face down. Adam and Turner started kicking me in my chest, I could barely see but there was Steve just watching this meltdown. I lost sight of Jessie hoping he'd come to my rescue that's when I felt the pain of a foot slamming into the back of my head, it was Jessie. The pain was unbearable and they were all laughing going through my pockets taking Steve's weed and the little cash I had on me. They started to leave and I got up feeling the pain as if I was [had] just been hit by a baseball bat. Blood was dripping down my face and all over my sweatshirt. My nose was broken, and the one to blame for that was Jessie, he was my last trust other than Janet. I should have known they were all in on it, my friends were gone a bad ass no more, a dream lasting just a few months. A brand new start, will I ever trust again, a lonely loser once again.

I got home and washed myself up, threw out the bloody shirt, and changed. My nose was so painful, I needed to go to the hospital, but I was going to wait till the next day, plus I could check on Janet at the same time. Before getting into bed my mom got up and came to my room she told me Janet's mother was looking for her. So I called her mom up right away, my heart was pumping and pumping, how could I tell her about Janet's hospitalizing. Janet's mom picked up and I told her Janet got sick at the concert so we had to bring her to the hospital. She was nervous but not pissed off at me, she just said thank you and goodbye and I went off to bed.

### Chapter seventeen

I woke up around one pm the next day and headed right to the hospital, so that they could check out my broken nose. When I got there I saw a middle aged lady screaming and crying, with the police trying to calm her down. I went to the emergency desk, gave my information, and I asked about Janet. They told me to talk to her mother pointing at the crazy lady yelling with the cops. The crying, I knew, wasn't a good sign; I was praying that Janet was okay. I walked up to her mom and introduced myself; she grabbed me by my shirt and called me a murderer. She kept telling me that Janet was dead by a lethal amount of crystal meth. She said I killed her and told the cops that I was the one. The officers took me and cuffed me and brought me to their car. I was saying sorry over and over again telling her it wasn't my fault.

Now at the police station, they grilled me asking why I killed her where I got the meth. I was saying nothing I had nothing to say just that it wasn't me who killed her. They asked who was the individual to give her the meth if it wasn't me. Since Jessie screwed me over like the rest I ratted him out. The problem is [was] that I had no proof, they kept me there for hours then locked me up. The whole time locked up I was trying to figure out a way of convicting Jessie. A way to set him up, having the cops near by to catch him in the act. My brain was working in overdrive, a smart mental decision had to be made. To out smart the evil genius by raiding his stash. That's it; catch him in the act, sucker, him in for a final blow. He killed Janet, and I wasn't just going to sit here rotting, letting a killer go free.

I had a plan; hoping Jessie still had his meth pills, to draw him in the act of dealing a killer drug. When the police came back to get me, they brought me back into the interrogation room. I told them my plan and they decided to go along with it, with my ass on the line.

I was back at home and the first thing I did was to call Jessie. When he answered the phone he sounded confused, why would someone who just had his ass kicked call. I told him that I forgave him and that maybe we could still be friends. He sounded surprised and that's when he apologized and said he was just under some major pure [?peer?] pressure. We talked for a while as friends but a friend he wasn't, I was just playing him like dinner just about to get cooked. Near the end of the conversation I slipped in the fact that I was looking for some of that ecstasy he had from last night. He had two left un used from the concert and told me there wouldn't be a problem. We were to meet at Denver Park in an hour; I was ready to free my soul for another going way down below.

I got to the park a little early and sat in the grass, waiting for the killer. He finally showed up 15 minutes late, oh well, I was ready. He sat next to me and once again said he was sorry. He had a joint with him and asked if I wanted to smoke up. I turned him down and said after I pop in the ecstasy, he told me alright. He was falling into my royal flush, and all he had was a pair. He pulled out his little baggy and gave me the two pills, I handed him the cash and started to whistle when he cut me off. So I listened first, he said he had some acid too, knowing that I was an acid head. Even better, a double play at his expense, should have quit for a lesser charge. I said sure and he handed me five hits but without any money I asked if he could front me them. It didn't bother him at all; he knew he could rip him [?me?] off with his strength of bad ass friends with demented ass-kicking behaviors. After the exchange I got up and whistled.

### I began walking away when I saw Jessie get up, it was a raid. Cops came out from all the bushes with cop cars driving into the field; Jessie had no place to run. They cuffed him and took him away, while a few cops stayed behind. I showed the cops the meth, they were going to test it back at the station. Not only that but as a surprise for the police I handed them the acid Jessie gave me. They let me go and I went home thinking about Janet the only friend I had left, now dead and all alone is what I was.

### Chapter eighteen

Well it's my birthday. I'm 15, still no friends and the Wizard was still out there, but some exciting news. Call it a gift from God; karma plays a deep role in this game. My birthday comes right after Thanksgiving, a long weekend to be remembered by all.

### Turner was flying out to his home town for this holiday, just a few days but enough to change his life into a soul. While flying back to an airport in a big city, an hour away from Summerville, his plane crashed right into a body of water. Everybody on the plane died, even Turner and his immediate family. On the same day came judgment day for the rest of the betrayers.

They were driving through the little roads in the forestry planes [?forested? plains] of Summerville. Adam and Steve together in a 1989 Pony going west. Bored to death after missing a 10 o'clock bush party. Adam wanted to play a game called chicken. Steve agreed telling Adam not to fucking swerve. They were very excited. The moonlight was swivering from stars to satellites. Then came a vehicle and Adam couldn't wait. They moved into the on coming lane and faster and faster they drove towards the big four by four. The closer the truck came the more Adam and Steve were getting a rush of suicide or a sensation of death killing perfect strangers.

There they were running and screaming on fire in front of a little brick house. The bang woke an old lady. Dressed in her night gown, she went to her window flames, bursting into the air. That was it; 911 was called.

### Since I have no powers the question is what's going on.

Nicolas Michael

M

eroni

The Question is

What's Going On

