

The End

Published by Jean-Nichol Dufour at Smashwords

Copyright 2011-2018 Jean-Nichol Dufour

Sunrise edition

TABLE OF CONTENT

THE END

1/2

THE ROOT

First things first

This is part 10 of a suite forming the book "A Flower To Life". I decided to make it available that way because it is too long or too big for most book sites on the net. I will eventually try to publish as paperback, again, but for now it seems it's not the style literary agents want to see, it's too long, too big, weird, very bad english, not fitting their free market or what they like to read; I never got a criticism about content. Now that you know how bad it is since connoisseurs judged it so while complaining they get nothing special to read, I'll talk about the killing point; I want free digital copies available to anybody, and that is impossible, even if I let the publisher have all the profits they can manage to gain from selling it as paperback (and digital too). So I separated the book as a suite for free distribution on Smashwords, and nobody except me touches the text. I know literary agents are a bit right, but it's part of their job to see potential and help, not push people to self-publishing, which it's sure not something I can afford, as for potential, I guess we'll see. For now I don't take it too badly since my work is about starting a new reality from scratch, so I must cover a vast range of hard philosophical, spiritual, personal, psychological, political and fundamental universal matrix subjects, and gaining all round competence with all that will require lots of time and quite a few updates to get right, particularly with the casual style I have chosen. While some, I wonder who, will argue about my style, I believe I have chosen the fastest and best route to get my arguments read by a maximum of people, I want my work as the adventure of revolted person fighting hell in a realist way. As for the why I want an independent source free, it is because I know this will be a unique and rare artefact, and I don't want anybody to take control of it after I'm dead. I want a place where my profile and my work can remain available after my death in its integrity of form, even if a transfer of platform becomes necessary. I accept that people make any variation of it if it's not for bad intents or self-interests, but the original must remain integral. And one last thing, up to the flower edition, all my work is free of external influence that I know of (maybe except gods); it is all the invention, imagination and deductions of someone who was curious and interested in science when young, had to deal with religious resentment a little, did a bit of military, learned a bit of technology, discovered his inadequacy, got himself a spirituality, and finally a nice mentality, after losing all sociability.... All that has arisen from forming my opinions as I experienced reality and kept a general interest on everything, easily available to anybody, but TV, and I still manage not to read the bible, nothing on the mind, no book on psychology or philosophy in my library that don't exist, in my home that don't exist, and internet searches may be limited to a few details.

THE END

No dreams this time, it's more like living a nightmare, but it's not extremely that bad, I should have taken the medication, but too late now, I must pass my test, is there something to it, your mentality? Is there something to it your spirituality? I will do what I have to do to believe I do what I should do.

For now, this book is in my pocket wherever I go as my testament, 2010 was crazy, you should have seen when they announced the end, everybody had to take the vaccine, and now I must wait after the end of the world to get my stuff published, in 2013, that way nobody will say I'm responsible for the end of the world, and that should give me some time to see if my opinions get better since I may truly be sick in inside the head, no, but it's scary, to face one's inner daemons... Anyway, I'd be dumped on the Armageddon pile which will surely get quite big in 2012, and I wouldn't want it to be discarded that easily with a laugh. So I should wait after that fateful day, that way the next big paranoia will be farther away, some scriptures analyst say it will start in 2017 because of a sign, but I heard from an expert on old texts that it will be in 2018, but then "they" say it's gonna be in 2020, but that may be wrong because bible people interpreted that it will actually be in 2023, but that will probably be wrong so I guess there is a sign that it will be 2024, then 2025, 2026, 2027, etc, etc. but that's wrong, it will start in 2028 and end in 2500, that should do it! Or someday they'll get tired and wait for the end before going back to old scriptures to find the sign they missed, I'm sure they can reverse engineer scriptures...

I may not have a nice view of the future of this reality, and humanity in it, but sorry, can't predict a thing, no prophet to give a precise date. Yet, the end may come anytime, even in 2012, but I don't see the end without a single human on earth, unless we the victims of another entity than ourselves. Concerning what I can deduct, it is more like the inadequate masses of this reality taking the means, by pushing everything as much as they can, to continue things as they are thus causing a cascade of failures. It could take the form of a succession of fundamental problems that will crash the "system" losing equilibrium control of the pyramids (interrelated institutions (too big to fail) controlling things) by a change of forces causing massive emotional overreaction, and death (some x quantity of poor types), on the dependent population which will have to adapt to new forces. Probably an economic crash after some other thing critical happened and communication giants start choking bandwidth. It will be a mess, why not? A mess because the fundamental attitude which we encouraged through history is not adequate anymore, and you don't ask those that the system serves best act fairly (they even think things are fair), so I guess you don't ask the masses intertwined in their system to take the necessary attitude to change things. Some death factors may come about as catalysts at the same time too, just to precipitate the masses in the ultimate scenario of zombie degeneration. There may be a few things in that category, a sickness, a famine, a crash, but a big part may happen from lost dependences too, and that can be anti-depressive, medication and entertainment dependences. So yes, a big cataclysm is possible in the not so far future, and if it happens, it will be the end of many things as we know them.

So, eh, eh, ladies and gentlemen, I represent the life reality option, an independent party, which follows an ideology of life. We want this reality to help a new way, since if nothing is done to change the fundamentals, then the recuperation, if there is one, will only be temporary, a 50-75 years sprint on adrenaline, then it will be the end, not as death, but as potential, hope, a slow process where we scrape everything to serve a few "gods" until we are totally unable to survive the environment.

But who knows what the end is, and apart from the necessary Poof! Doom day! probably it will take form of condemnations developed by a reality as the sole option, even if I believe that many people, from immemorial time, have known unconsciously that the fundamentals of our beliefs and attitudes forced us to defend and encourage a system that is wrong or not a good one; the joke is that resources are finite and only the best survive at a universe scale, so a systematization is kind of like the biggest factor deciding priorities, and to me the current systematization will eventually end or cause the end of humanity whatever the form.

So yes things could quickly degenerate in hysteria, causing tremendous troubles, most people could die. But people, life and potential, hope, dreams are not dead unless we stubbornly build back with the same attitude because we lost the capacity or will, through pressure selection and other means. Other examples are overheating from pollution and overpopulation, or an economic crisis.

Now, if governments and scientists are constantly calculating everything for 2050, then they are unconsciously starting the final sprint, a fantastic efforts at justifying everything as an argument that we must strive forward, stubbornly pushing everything like 2050 will either be the nanotech golden age or the end depending if you are a tech innocent or a religious innocent, whatever; both must be ready. Then within a few decennia after that living will become unbearable, not everybody will die for sure, but it will be at a massive scale, while all the rich survive with the gold they bought while their business worked. They'll sing great speeches to bring back the current way of things, liberty in the mouth of jailers, free speech in the mouth of manipulators, for others it will all be because people stopped reading the bible; they shouldn't have stopped. Your favorite star will be there, it will be like any other day in hell, with more division, competition, hate and the redesigning of the aura of words. Governments in the pockets of corporations, inadequate scientific and psy expertise will lead to the final condemnation of humanity as a failure, the end by inability to regain strength, something like 50-75 years after the 2050 epoch.

As for the why they calculate things for 2050, I suppose it's because their work hard and profit mentality limit their vision to what's left of their life; they're around 50, in a competition to control the stinking ship, and painting their image all over it, they'll be around 90 years old in 2050, ready to die when it will sink. So probably, if no dude like me appears to take the role of the baddie that will initiate change, they'll do it their way if they suddenly see big inevitable troubles coming, hypocritically, to displace as much responsibility as possible, or simply to have more time, to survive their 2050 projection which was just a faraway date at the beginning for these people of big vision. And by the way, what I see outside is past your 2050 predictions, the North Pole won't last to 2050 before freeing massive amounts of methane. But yeah, tough to around 2050 and all the rich and powerful will be excessively well prepared while poorer people will be ready to die for all kind of reasons; that's what you get from "loving" evil people folks.

The way we're going in something like 100 years, the way things have always been going better with all the promises and positive outlooks, that your usual smiling day in hell will start by watching the death toll each country has on the different shitstorm they're dealing with, people will die burned or frozen or drowned or sick, or radiated or choked, it will be extremely difficult to survive, more than it have ever been in the history of humanity.

There are all kind of other scenarios and possibilities, I exposed some but I'd fail everything if I started making precise predictions. I don't know the future, I have my opinion of it, so I make "around" predictions from what I understand logically. There are experience patterns too, and if I feel I'm justified to fear for my life, minimally, then I must try to stop this fear, and wherever it comes from it doesn't need to be more than a catalyst; I was revolted for all kind of things even if I was kind of innocent of what I was doing, I hated out of frustration and a bit like a child, but I knew I would not write pleasant stuff, I already had gotten that insight from getting bloody speaking my mind, so writing a book full would not help, I knew this, but as things developed, my opinion, both of this reality, and my competence, degenerated so much that I saw it as worthless to continue, yet, now that I'm almost done I understand that things never end fitting into place, like I always knew how to end it from the beginning.

In fact, the majority of my work is very old and retarded stuff better rearranged, totally inadequate for the "newly" evolved people, wow! Seriously, a lot of what I've explained has been known unconsciously from the beginning a conflict is created in the mind, or the logical extrapolations from the truths life deducted. When that happens you have to choose consciously, but whatever your choice, the knowledge of the conflict exists and from it you can deduct a lot, even predict future development if some amalgam of brain sensitivities happen in some "lucky" people.

And I said future developments, or results, from clues coming from sensitivities to unconscious messages; it has nothing to do with predictions of lotto numbers, or with Nostradamus that read too many religious book and dreamed of H-00.00 Armageddon village explosion. But you could choose any precise date to satisfy your beliefs, that's what we decided to do for 2012, people are really going to jump down a cliff this time, says my 98 years old grandmother. Wow, Nostradamus, the end, lots of things to do, 2012? It's barely 2 year away, prepare your bombs! I'm sure there are many terrorists, religious and sect cultists who would be happy to profit from the opportunity to make a let's destroy special.

As for me, I try to look as far as I can see, I try to listen to my feelings, within a logical net, and make vague predictions. There's a difference between H-00.00 earth implosion and an opinion, even if it is strong, of what will happens in the next 100 years, which is somewhat how long we live. And whatever I predict, I may be exaggerating or doing paranoia, I don't discard these possibilities as I'm human, and I may be manipulated as I pass my time manipulating myself. I may have my opinion of the future, but I wouldn't dare embark in the prediction game that media people enjoy so much these days, I'm just another book of opinions about the future, and like many books I make a few predictions that come out true. In a sense, there is so many people writing stuff that it's a wonder that I'm capable of having or developing genuine visions. So yes da Vinci predicted stuff, Nostradamus predicted stuff, Einstein I'm sure of it, and far more, the Simson's even predicted trump, talk about divinatory powers! Still in the end, saying every writer predicts stuff is not an argument to discard the inspirational and revolutionary value of my work. Starting by what level of education is needed to write something interesting... And my work is just a fraction of the explorations I did, you have no idea all the crazy ideas and views that I went through as I looked at how things are, but I did the step of exploring these things because from personal experience, even if they don't always make sense, I somehow manage to end-up with something valuable out of it. Still, after reading all of it, you can understand that what I went through in thinking is intrinsic with my work, harmonized to it, as an expression of it.

That goes for the tools I gave myself to form my opinions, like condemnations, when you got many things like that I don't doubt anymore that troubles are ahead, maybe we can deal with a few, or good ones, but not a repressed pile that we built self-defense systems around, getting our health or future tied to the problems we profit from. I need to understand the fundamental structure of reality, its philosophy, to have an idea of its future possibilities, I must develop a global view and appreciation of life. And if my effort takes too much of my life and end up as a deduction that the global path will lead to a degradation of life or humanity's potential, whatever it is in an explosion or a thousand year self-condemnation, then the minimum is that I try to act in function of my opinion.

I know that I have no right to write like I did in this book, that having this attitude is bad, and that I don't know what I'm writing about, that I write weird, but I don't care now, I'm done, I have said what I had to say, if people don't care, then I wish people what they deserve, nothing positive, nothing negative; there are people worth lots of good, not necessarily me, others are worthless, others you'd want your money back for their negative effect, or cost, put them to harder not rewarding work. Yet, it is always the weight of humanity that counts for the most; if you're all in this together, all encouraging this reality one way or the other and taking the means to create a hell you can't get out, then too bad for you and for me too. Anyway, you can't dump a trillion people's responsibilities of making things better on a few shoulders with the argument of innocence or that your part of the job is working hard, then ask some poor bum without an education or political ability to pass from 0 friends to the coqueluche of humanity without looking stupid somewhere and fucking traumatize the guy that's already completely at the limit of everything, and then ask this guy to be a god and then continually scrutinize his actions and blast him in case he make a little mistake, while all the people you'll have pissed off for your troubles will be waiting with a knife to go back to the same old way, even wishing unconsciously that you fail, and their help will have an aftertaste that will poison everything.

My life's thinking cannot replace all the organizations that control all production, everything to date; I'm a little man and I do a little thing, and for me it is my ideas as I try to justify that a new reality is a worthy endeavor. What are you going to do about it now?

So this is my opinion of things and how I see life and human attitudes, it developed from a lot of bad feelings but that was not my goal; my goal was a project to stop such bad feelings among other things; the true meaning of peace. I could have bypassed all that to expose my ideal, but I had to go through it for tons of reasons, even if from the beginning I strongly felt and knew why, but it was instinctive and, as I wrote my justification and as I became older, my brute revolt dwindled in complexity, but I built my argumentation. So that's it, you can't imagine another reality without having an opinion of the actual reality, and you can't do it either without trying to look into the future. We can live 100 years, so I look at those 100 years our children and me will grow in, those children we never end singing that we "love" so much, that we work so hard to "give" them an always better world. And wasn't I a children myself? Am I not living all this frustration from people who sang how they "loved" their children? How they'd make the world better and more "peaceful" and "loving" and safe for them? Is this what this "love" meant? What do the present big "love" mean? It's hard to "love" you know, you have to shout it everywhere and spill it in language for anything, there's a lot of love that proves the contrary out there...

And don't think like I'm a prophet or the antichrist either; I'm a frustrated person that revolted and you can do nothing against it except piss and shit in your pants! I mean, I'm as much physical as mental, I did far too much mental, I'm supposed to advance in life intermixing both, like most people like to do, even if that's limited a bit by the ways of reality. You think I could not do something better with my life? You think I aint got the brains to be rich? I fight the people that are poisoning others, and I'm a monk! I hate being a monk! I know I gained a quirk or two, that circumstances out of my control contributed to set me on this path, but I'm human and I took a quest to show that anybody, even the ones starting from the hardest situation, can express what lays profoundly in its souls and work to be in harmony with it. I sure can't control every facet of it, or the way it will become reality, but that's the spirit.

A lot of my motivation came from trying to deduct what the future will look like, if it's worth it, if it will be good for people for as long and far as I can see, if it will get toward my aspirations. I passed my youth in the forest climbing a lot of trees, and I still did it until recently, I had a big tree for it, to look around as far as I could, I wanted to know those blue mountains were there, to feel space, and the feeling of air and sound flowing. But the mountains have disappeared in fog, and I hear sounds instead of presence. Anyway, it's the same thing for civilization, how does my soul feels waling among the forest of souls, does it feel as good? How does it see things? What deductions do I make? What do I see to the end of my sight? What do I hear of humanity's sound?

Now, whatever the future holds, I'm ready, and whatever my discouragement, I'll still want to live a very long, healthy, and happy rest of life, and if I decide to be a monk to the end, I'll do it for the fun of it ok? Or just for kicks, but I've got an ego too, cause no, you don't separate the ego from the self, unless you want to kill yourself...Understand that this is the result of far more work than it looks, I'm the one that knows what it took, and while seeking money is not my kind of career, I still got to minimally care for myself and upgrade my environment; everything around me is old and dirty, even my computer is finished, you think I can buy a new one? And my status doesn't get better but worse. So don't think I'm some kind of raging warrior on bloodlust that will fight to eternity, I'm missing air, and I can't endure my environment anymore. Furthermore, you don't make someone like me easily, a stable person in absolute conflict with a reality, I'm personally very impressed with the stability of the creation, even if there are hiccups, so I won't push to collision and death, and that may come from present momentum, I don't want to go crazy.

I say I was able to put thing in enough perspective to be readable, to make some sense out of my mind, and for me it's almost a miracle, but I shouldn't use that word too often... So whatever your opinion, my dream was a goal worth pursuing and to date I exceeded my expectations (you should have seen from what I started and how I made it!) I have almost attained it in its totality and I hope it won't take too long to conclude, I spent many years on this, I never wanted to be a monk, quite the contrary.

For now I consider that I found something missing in this world, because the pressure selection, through whatever means, slowly reduced or eliminated people's ability at having such visions, with assassinations as a last resort measure. I don't believe a single person on this planet could do it as a global thing in the present situation, even if many could in a different one, some facets for profit is more like it.

That's the most worthy thing I could do, the most personally advancing too, whatever you think, that's how I gave myself some worth, it didn't work much for popularity or profit, but I found my opinion of truth and I personally sought my best use, in theory trying to do so should g me a comfortable life in a minimally fair reality, why should I fight like a fucking shark or a taurus, no, I do my contribution, a thumbs-up to life and good bye...

I believe that anybody having the will to do good end-up doing good, if they are in a good reality, and that's the why of the basis comfort principle I made for the new reality; if you're part of the reality, it mean you're automatically worth the systematization; there is no question if your good or bad, if you're worth it or not, you proved you are because you are a citizen, and that gives you comfort and security without a struggle.

And don't think I believe myself alone like I seem to say, it's just that you don't see people like me often, me neither don't see them, they're not out on "super" "star" publicity for sure, and since I passed the "social" part of my life not spotting any, more like the contrary, then one got to start working, and since the world outside continues predictably, I'm as well believe I'm alone on earth, but ok, it's just 8 billion people, wtf, those 8 billion are eating the planet, it's half gone!! Is Montreal full of dynamic people ready to form the resistance? As I already said, I hardly believe those who reap the means or control things will change fundamentals, they are in their own ideal reality, and only people who really change their attitude can, and I am one and only one of them.

I want people to think, judge and act, my goal is definitively not to make working slaves for my ideal, it is my argumentation why I don't like this reality and an invention of a reality that I think I would have liked better, what I was ready to do for it, and to what extent I'm ready to go if I see developing potential for it. This project was a vague and far away thing at the beginning, yet, I put everything I had right from the start for that little light, almost an hallucination, but yes, what an hallucination it all ended up to be...

Evidently, it is no time to be tolerating and respectful when the reactor is melting, or compassionate or happy or proud while calling in the beer with a humorist and a bunch of funny women, an that's how I see the present; as a planetary ready meltdown cause by an inadequate reality enforced mentality. So while you're doing your usual fooling around control panels and worsen the situation each time you see something shiny, I've been trying to bring about a worthwhile solution to your meltdown, remove your incompetents from there and we can give it a shot, some important guy will pardon if it works. Do you think it possible to live in another reality? Yes? Then why don't you put as much energy as you put in the ego reality to make it the best? I know, you're condemned, I could cry, really, but I won't because you won't. As for those against the idea of a new reality, who want to prevent a big mistake, then know that your worry hasn't fallen in deaf ears, but you don't live with all that in you, I'm kind of convinced if I wrote all this, to me it's like a crime against existence and life not to try, but I'm not stupid and I'm not alone.

I invented all of this, I'm the incarnation of this thing, did I condemn myself to it? What do I decide? It's still all in my hands, I can burn it all, what do I wish? Relax and enjoy life more, so I should burn it all in hell theory. My specialization stays in a unique position of creation, but the first goal of this specialization is to be transmitted, and the ways to transmit it are many if you got the means. Does that stop me from doing anything else? Could I do some kind of general leadership work? That sounds too military, but the idea could fit. The idea is generality, the general man, a guy that can be cut from everything, left alone and still be there for the reception with a smile, some dirt under the shoes but you'll never know (that is not the description of the media generality brain). But such peopled don't exist anymore it seems, and not only because of worthless complexity, but because their good presence reveals wrongs or evil; failures are exposed, beliefs are turned upside down, souls are turned over and out.

So even if you instill fear by the overwhelming size of your signification, you're better have the equivalent force in friend because a knife or bullet or poison is easily planted, you'll just make a mess of yourself and fear is implanted back in the weak, submission, peace, "love", pardon, compassion and everything gets twisted. A body is never enough to carry a mind, a mind must be understood by other minds to grow sufficient body, that's our human association condemnation.

That's exactly the role of parents too, they are the leaders of their child, the child knows unconsciously that his parents should have more experience and judgment of life and what's good and what's bad, where to go, where not to go, what to do, what not to, and as you grow older you lead more and more things by yourself, that's why the better leading people are usually older, and it's good like that, in a reality that makes sense, one that doesn't divide to reign, even generations. The structure of leading is mostly a pyramid, but globalism is a specialization in itself. The best situation is simply to have as much systemized specialization as possible following an ideal or goals invented by creativity or wanted by people.

The twisted division and competition we have is simply a tremendously, fantastically, incredibly, fatally costly façade for some people to exploit others and reign eternally. It only proves we've become enslaved through PMBBD. Everybody knows in its right mind that association is the trick as absolutely everything that exist is formed from association, even if associated parts can be disassociated and associated back differently. You don't build to compete your neighbor, you build to help each other, you need each other, and that applies to country competition.

What is hard but best is to associate everything in somewhat the right, true, good and best order. The more you mix and complexify your associations senseless, the more you risk insanity, specifically, senseless associations. You can even be more sane with 2 languages that provide a different approach to words or style, if they someday stop fooling around the basics of it, like present Quebeckers women of power who are trying to inverse the default masculine and the feminine order, that's minus 10 points for messing the whole thing again, and again, and again, and again, without an advantage, just to stamp the name of some ambitious matron somewhere, that's one point for that, maybe a point for uniqueness, and a kind of point for revenge of who decide to play sexist with languages. The authority go full extremist with it, no concession to people of sense, no, we will assume first that a woodcutter should be a girl, and we'll put the masculine after like an option; we can't just assume people make sense and have judgment, that they'll use their brains to decide if it's a guy or a girl, cutting or most probably cutting the tree, no, the authority dictated with insane extremists laws, while praising democracy, in a matriarch infantilizing society run by ignorant and incompetent gods who dream of family dynasty like we're in a fucking cult, replace this government with the pope and nobody will notice, as long as democracy is written somewhere... Those sexist women think it's the way to go in their quest to make a totally neutral language where sexes don't exist, only gay people... I mean, you always know the sex you're talking to, and that's kind of a super big important detail for our imagination, so I don't know what they're trying to accomplish, a bigger mess of competitive bullshit probably... And if you don't need to then you don't have to, I write in French too and this practically never happens, in fact I refuse to use the double negation that the elite try to implant which make compulsive liars of our whole society in the name of Montreal TV studios, which is worse than useless. So you see I make good and evil changes, while in hell superior people who think they're good make evil sexist ones! I do it as personal challenge at it, I can even write about love in my language without using it out of context and it makes writing it more beautiful and true, how about that?

My example was not good because those women developed their intelligence wrongly, or they went to university just for show, cheated and fucked all along, know nothing and either have a drug problem or a psychological one, and those are the type I fear will reign over hell in the end, and it just go with the selection that have been groomed to not stray too far from mommy, and you'll see that the more it will oblige the more mommy will become overwhelming...

I still believe a two language structure is best though, if you remove evil from dictating how they work, each with a different emphasis, a cultural one and an international one, and a fast typing text development is a plus, the same for some computer programing, one among the most used. Illiterates bite the dust here but I believe we can do all that easily, I have all that, late, without that much of an effort, what I regret is not practicing my programing skill, and maybe we should take the time to apply a reminder every 5 years or so on this, just to keep it going past 50 for those who don't use it. I still may not be an example though, because I didn't learn much else, except military stuff. Computers will not disappear, so we're as well develop things well, and the main facet of computers is communication, through many steps, and many forms, but always fast, like the fundamental universal level of communication which is speedy beyond imagination and somewhat related to extrapolated mathematics and matter forms, like computers.

Computers are the only tool we'll have for a long time to touch that speed and power so we're not at a loss communicating to and through it the fastest or best way possible, and it may even develop as a kind of power with lots of time. A view of it would be to imagine that programming developed to meet our complexity, not only of language, and we must do the same too, simplify a facet of our communication to penetrate deeper gaining speed. Programming has become easier and international, something a child can learns at school. If you can write and count, you can program too, just make it easy, automatic or fun.

So my goal was to see if there was something to these bad feelings that nobody seemed competent to deal with, go grab thins undefinable thing I saw in the smoke too, saw the beauty of it, understood it was hidden to prevent ego people drooling all over it, so I set the sacred laws of its existence, and those who are already super fat or who vomit all over the place their gluttony are the first not allowed nearby, next are all the sick fuckers who could not manage refrain farther than a few meters away.

That could be seen as another reason why I wrote a lot of this; not because I liked it, but more like because I never found an example of a good path to follow, even if "everybody" tried very hard to teach me how to live. So I invented the example for me, went back to 0, the most basic life to understand and answer fundamentally simple questions that should have been answered and classified before civilization developed globally, stopping war right there and making a fair system for good and more.

It's not nice having to prove everything so wrong so much though, I hate doing things because of this reality it's so wrong, so I wrote an epic book to turn all your preconceptions upside down, from scientific too esoteric, unwrongling everything, and here, I makes it sacred as the possession of another reality, its first and only possession, it's book, which she give back because we are life, we do something with it, but we don't steal it, who steals sacred stuff for their own profits?

So I bring you my thinking, while trying to see if you have what it takes and adjust the opinion you have of yourselves a little, because only people with class, only people who care, can dare think, just think, that they should have a place in such a reality, that's what I think, and I shouldn't even try to motivate people, because you should beg on your knees in front of life to be worth placing a foot there, that should be enough of an honor, I'm not even sure I'd do it myself, I could die of a heart attack or something.

And if you're not happy about my way of saying things or my attitude, then see my argumentation as a form of art, a painting maybe, but far from perfect with holes and things that could be made better, in fact, the best way to see it is exactly what it is, a vision, when you visualize things they are not like in reality, it's foggy, incomplete, but everything that exist started this way, I have described it as a person, not as a computer, even if I used logic in the context of its place in the universe, just ask science if logic has no bear, all my work, even with its flaws is built on that pillar, and it goes straight to the UI, and maybe that's the only thing life can stand on, and work from, and I already have it, all defined by the laws of reality, defining my possibilities, in the perfection of everything...

I definitively don't consider my work perfect though, definitively not a good idea to think like that from what I learned, having big ideals while trying to be exemplary and perfect, this shit can backfire I tell you, each time you're ready for change it seems...It's been a hard and long quest, a lot worse than I first imagined, far worse, with and an added emotional test of all the facets of my person with each revision, I'm still impressed so much I'm overestimating things, and I'm here telling you how much we're missing the point...

It's basic but it should always be there, and it is your responsibility, even if the life reality becomes a success, to do like me and care about understanding things, question if you are happy enough, question the reality, maybe I invented shitty reality! So if after decent scrutiny you come to the conclusion that better can be made, then it becomes your responsibility to express it, it's not a question of maybe yes or no, or later, or people will hate me so much, no, you are forced as a human, it is part of what you do; you don't pass beside an alien in the universe while saying "oh well...", no you have to stop and explore, you're missing the point, to see the new possibilities, and you want those who gained the capacity to see farther or differently on it, to share it with the life they are responsible for, if their life is not too much at risk (see it as material collateral, in the end, those who have nothing shouldn't be the ones sacrificing, because all they have is their life...Material collateral before life collateral, no? But that's contrary!)

So a tranquil leader is the top notion, and i don't care what you think, ou know you can't have down to earth "gods" because everybody dies here, if you become dependent from a "god" and he dies what will you do? Pyramids do that, they are eternal "gods" stealing all resources and people's energy, and they end-up dying anyway, and when they do people are in troubles.

I don't want people to become dependent from me, "I will disappear" is a scenario, but I still want involvement, I made this, I want to appear a little, damn, if peopled didn't scare me that much...So I don't know, but one thing's for sure, I don't want people to await my parole like I possess total knowledge. If you work without me in mind, things may succeed, if you need a god, we'll fail. In the end, you must say "you" did things because that's the truth; my job was just different than yours, and the hell i went through was educational matters, i just passed some rare tests that university people can only dream about, which adequately ironically could have been anybody, just happened to be me, allright? You read what I wrote, found it made enough sense, then got the idea to work, even if you're not totally in accord with all its facets, and me neither for what you'll make out of it, and I don't think everybody who work for current reality are in accord with all its facets, it's just that there are people like me who are in disaccord with a vast majority if its facets...

So if I disappear remember it is not my face that you need to see to act and do things, it is my mind, what will change if I show my face everywhere? credibility? motivation? argumentation? inspiration? This book is my inspiration, I motivated and argued to go crazy to give credibility to a bunch of things that aint got a cent of worth. You can see my philosophy as a form of final respect too, I can completely wipe all that off my life, apart from my gained attitudes, and I could accuse someone else of writing it, just to say it is a human that did it, a human that wanted it and worked for it. It could have been some of you, differently, with your added touch; you know I don't like discoveries or things associated to an eternal name you almost got to wake-up from the dead to fuck around with. And I'm a result of this reality too, I'm as much its problem as dependent from it, don't think I would have made this without this reality existing, in whatever the heck way I had to happen.

I did it for me, on the personal aspect, I think I got something going for my after death, but I can't manage to find how it's worth it in reality though...For life as it's always been my lead, for people who care, surely not for those who don't care, or ego lazy people who need it cut in their mouth, or who will ask me to build them a home next! I've shown you is that it is possible, I'm just one of the first to use its time to do it time this reality "gave" me, even if it is ridiculous as it is supposed to be mine anyway, since I decided to try the human simple logical way... You can extrapolate a lot of things from what I wrote but you don't see me as a Einstein god and say everything that exist does thanks to me that set the basic life reality principles.

I did something good with my life, and I'll take my pride in the appreciation of people for my contribution, I don't need young children to forever know my name by heart royal level then cry because they didn't touch the god, or get them to learn by heart from which country I'm from, or how intelligent I've been, even if a spiritual book can include such things for interested people. I want people to enjoy living, to feel they mean something, to feel logical too, to feel love, to trust the future, that's what I want, and yes I want to be known, historically remembered, but I want it in sense, for my true worth, not false hype and PMBBD.

So instead of discouraging over this degenerating reality, I made every effort to place it in a logical and good placement in the scheme of my judgment, which I made every efforts to show all the different crazy variations of I found within the limits of my imagination. I put heart into it, put emotions into it, my life into it, I found it difficult, scary, painful and exhausting, as much as I enjoyed a lot too, but I don't know what can be done beyond these possibilities. And I know science could feed me another such book, but it won't change the fundamentals of my opinions. What I say is that even if I kicked some people, I say we all give back a kick right now to take the means to do something like I described.

This is big beyond anything that has ever been tried by humanity, the next bigger thing after that will be to colonize another planet or systemize the solar system, and then it will be interstellar travel. Evidently, I have to put pressure because I like my project; I believe something like it could become reality so I do a bit of that. If we had mind lands to expand like old religions did, we'd be growing by default, carrying a traumatic version with magical elements of this to lost tribes in the woods to impress them in submission to life. Even if some like to see other countries as lost tribes, the situation today is war; we must fight evil, but there are no more free organized fighters with enough remaining adequate will, so if you enjoyed the reading that's already good for you, seriously, aren't you a gremlin working for Lucifer?

I don't think you can go through this entire book (s) saying "that's right" or "that's what I thought or felt" either, I can't even read a part of it without changing things, and I've never been able to end all work on it either. And I don't like the moralist type, but you got stuff to sink a lot of questions. It was my "dream" and it didn't include people running in my gasses, and I didn't do it for unsatisfactory results either. Now, that should be less pressures, or more? Pressure shortens lifespan, even if it can give a kick, try it with a grenade...

My mind will never stop working because I made it so, but my revolt must stop here, in peace and love...I explored my mind, it felt weird and incompetent at first, scary at some point, but I had to trust someone, it can't just be and I can't have to go through the whole gamut of adapting to know, or if you prefer; in the perfection of everything there should be a way. But I don't have all skills and I don't want to develop them all, and these are my choices not yours (controlling groups, governments, psy, religions, pub) and I like socialization, where I'm treated as I'm supposed to be; a normal person, because that's what I am, not an inferior or a superior or a mentally sick. I'm not a camera, television, internet or groupies "lover" and I won't let them control my life, but I think I can find ways to manage meeting them once in a while, I wouldn't be scared to be interviewed either, but I've been bad with media people, and their standards are not my standards. I'll try to continue with the positive changes in my personality for the future too, but I can't deal with this reality's competitive aspects, the same way I never deal when I buy things, the best I can do is to insult the seller who, guess what, is never responsible for the pricing...

And I know how some are "chained" to this reality and I may have insulted or frustrated you, but I've told you that I'm no more willing to dwell in violence than anybody watching violent movies in the comfort of his "peaceful" home, I don't want to die anymore than anybody else, so I understand the situations that lead to the attitudes I decided to minimally take or encourage, at the minimum I mean.

The same applies to reality, I know that people want everything, a universe full of English diversity and princesses and kingdoms, or that I do everything myself, like I should fit the classic stereotype of the lone guy (god) on its mountain, but it doesn't work like that; first I plant a different tree on a different terrain, then my loneliness is due to many reality inadequacy factors, second, I'll prefer nothing than lonliness or more fucking twisted human psychological corruption and bullshit in little characters, and what I do I do it as a sense of life, my mind is free for it to roam in, and the reality I want is one where I can shine instead of living in a dank basement with a community of mentally deficient and uninteresting people making a fixation on me, trying to compete over I don't know what...No, I won't change, heal, or save the selection that comes with the ideology of this reality, everybody, all of you, you choose, I have chosen long ago, long before knowing half the evils I know today, the older the bigger, so what are you waiting for? No, I won't, and I can't, heal the problem intrinsic or produced at the tons by this reality that you work for, encourage, and defend against everything to save it from any danger or competition, you have what you wanted, you took the bet with the devil that you could serve him well, no, you are a corrupt humanity, so much in fact that I refuse as much of it as I can, beyond the right for survival given to me by my parents, no, you won't have me, whatever your jealousy, and no I'm not your Jesus that will pardon everything, that's contrary to one of my responsibility, and no I won't be alone in afterdeath or pay for having been brave enough to stand for everything that make sense written this book, or believed in stuff, fuck you, I'll prefer nothingness and you can ignore, fight, desecrate and go denial all you want...

I'm a realist person that understands the worth of attitudes and principles, the price of things; the truth is that I try to give everybody a chance in my vision of things, so don't tell me I'm too hard and that I should not make a paranoia about susceptibilities when we're within a hundred years from loss of potential, I'll even do worse, I'll bet my life we'll be in grave troubles within 50 years, I'll live it with you, are you happy? We're all in it together! Even me that never embarked and never had a word to say will be forced to it!

You've got every argument to wake-up in this book, what can I say more? Rinse and repeat? And what argument will you use against me? That I want to become rich? Popular? Control people? I'm poor, a minus, I want a normal fair life, like all normal people dream of having, can I? Do I have to destroy this world to have it? So don't do the idiot by saying I quickly wrote this to profit from some troubles in your reality, you're the one profiting from anything to discredit what you don't like to hear. Go ahead I challenge anybody to write such a book within...10 years since you got an example, it should fit your competitive mentality, and it should have some interesting content, and you can do it in another language for a difficulty, and I could add far worst environmental psychological difficulties, just saying...

Most of this is year 2000 frustration, I mean I started writing seriously at that time, so you understand I chose my path long ago, no 2012 paranoia at the time; what was hot and wow and scary was the year 2000 bug. I surely won't say my writing didn't get reinforced by actual events as I wrote, but the whole philosophy and ideas is old stuff and I wouldn't start writing in an optic of present "knowledge" since it would be impossible to finish. My work is about life, and my life too since I got nothing else, and it took my adult life to date to write, even if I could say my whole life have been used fighting against this reality in a realist way, survival and form oblige; I never decided to drop everything to be under social assistance and profit from the system, not at all, it was standing up, it was acting with integrity, it was acting human, it was taking my responsibility, a finger to religions and psy and anti-depressives, to industrialists, to governments, to "love". I couldn't bow to it so I fought in my own way, and I sacrificed everything standing up, and alone at it, my apostles? They laughed or made me insignificant so I flushed them all...

You can understand that telling you I'm a minus doesn't mean I'll just scratch my ass for the rest of my life after writing all this; there are many things I can still do, and I'm the one to decide my life. But I'm not a dictator, I tell you how life is important, worth war and a fabulous flower, I may even battle in blood for it, I'm not limited to one option. And yes I got an ego and needs, I work like everybody else, my life is hard too, but while you prepare your old days I'll have nothing, and I'm not talking about what attitude or job should be seen as the most valuable here... And don't think I have to do with my personal battle, I did my personal battle, the future is not my personal battle, if you think that, then leave it at that, read this like entertainment, or don't read it at all and forget about all this, and it will be what you wanted of it; my personal thing.

When I started waking up to this reality I saw it as a dump, I believed I would be some kind of dump master, no, it was full of garbage I needed to explode my horizons, but I was stuck, everything was like in the way, and I hated it. I quickly forgot that but I stayed on the same kind of track, I never thought I went to school to have a career, what I thought as my "job" was to become strong and know the world, so I asked for weightlifting equipment for Christmas and I craved for science and life books (insects books was a fascination), school meant nothing to me, in fact, I left school 3 months before graduating, I just dumped it there and went to the army.

Today I don't know how to see things, I kind of forgot such simple ideals, even if they comes to sting me with frustration once in a while. It seems I was fantastically mistaken though, and reality providing me its best? What a joke.

That was so long ago, after my worst (first 500 pages) version I kind of saw the state of my mind and I knew my job would be to save it like the most precious thing of the universe, and I set my path there, for better ideals and potential. That's why I started writing, to say why I'll never be a part of your party, from my deductions I can't continue in your direction, and maybe you're too preoccupied flitting your head well within your ass, your fame, to notice people like me, so at the minimum I'll leave this book behind as a note that we existed, we were just ignored in hell, and if we are an evolutionary step, then the proofs have been made over and out at repetition that understanding fails to get through, humanity can't take that path. Maybe the UI can change all that, I work thinking both sides you know; you have your ideal reality, you don't want my ideas, only as tools to reinforce hell, and me I'm stuck with this, I have become its soul, and if nobody is clean enough to touch it, then I'll carry it as my greatest pride all the way to my death, all the way to the UI, until someone fitting my criteria can justify that I can let go, whatever I'm right or wrong. It's an honor finger to people who can't hear anymore, who laugh at my insistence, I'm gone and this is why, if I have the time to write it all without attracting attention even if I try, kind of inversely proportional ironic effect where good can't get himself understood in a hell of babbling communication and socializing. Good luck catching on with me, if you ever understand with proofs, because you have lost what it takes, and why should you care, you have your direction, you have proven hostile and condescending, you're already laughing, that you left me alone. So be it, I'll be the only one and only.

Still, sometimes I think I'm all part of a big secret, reaching far beyond time and frontiers, maybe a big sect or royal bunch can have the kind of crappy intelligence to think they can desecrate life at the most extreme of hypocrisy as a provocation, but those morons sure don't think in their great superiority, that they're in fact spitting on the UI, existence itself, bravo, and if I meet you, sorry for the baseball bat stuck in your mouth, I'm on the side of the UI and life, not evil, whatever you're a pathetic momentum of a rotten history, probably an aftertaste of competing men against women (that can be from competition laws that make the two as the same which can't happen, or any other scenario of widespread competition between the two sexes). The invention of peace as a principle may have arisen from this, from the consciousness of it, good and evil would have taken a new turn at this point too. In this scenario, it is evil that logically temporarily won with peace, all unconscious, evil don't think himself as evil. From that point on, evil, in control, would have made good invalid by desecrating all philosophies and principles associated to a good path while destroying, erasing or twisting all the history that lead to the true effect of peace (the same with love). That "battle" may have arisen because part of a good philosophy is that an evil philosophy lead one way or the other to the death of humanity (be it now or in space), and the responsible are the rich and powerful, which may have been seen as totally ridiculous by the controlling people of the time in a scenario where competition of extreme views is most likely to have defined the final decisions; either those people laughed at the whole idea of another intelligent entity, or they thought they were one step away from godhood, people of top power, and they would prove it with Christianity, no fucking bum is ever going to insult us and steal our women, in fact, we'll make a sexist religion and system where women end up systemized to serve evil, whatever it is for fucking, or bossing around! AhAhaHaha, ahahahah, ahahah, ahaah, laughing it out super loud...

Just beware the UI my little man, it can laugh quantically at your stupidity, it can make your mind a shame to all the cells of your body, and it has the longest of experience crunching your type to numbers, you wanted to play god? You made an entity so life can be your servant? Meet the entity, fake believer, the one that kneel the types of your gods! That shame civilizations built to worship them!

We can do what we want, torture life all we want, torture intelligence by our systems, yep, it happens all over the place in the universe, tragic stories for successful life developments to study, or not, maybe you can bypass it all, but my life is down there, my humanity is down there, you think I want to box it all as a failure? I think I'd prefer to die with it. I say we can't do what we want and we are responsible in big part for our own survival, and only evil think good and evil doesn't exist.

You think big controlling people would accept to be seen as evil for their unfairness or vision of human relations? Oh no, and in old times it was all so fucking arbitrary, so they probably twisted and exploited every facets of the work of a good philosophy and spirituality to unconsciously fit the way the life energy (money) flow. In the end, it is logical that the initiator, or institution and all relations, pay the price one way or the other, and they'll need someone to blame, and that person can only be against their vision of things, like the first person... So it is probable that if a bad spirituality and philosophy exist, it arose from a will for good spirituality and philosophy, in fact, each time a civilization developed a bad spirituality or philosophy, and most did, it either came from a guy revolting in the population or from copying the indoctrination recipes of other civilizations. So there could be a simple true story of a human being that revolted and developed principles of good for each pyramidal civilization that developed a vision of god to pacify and defend wrongs, and they all crumbled.

Good philosophy will never be a dam against blunt stupidity. Unfairness is evil bla, bla, bla (that includes means as well as country competition), we still had a tail when we closed the discussion on this, and lying is evil too, the superior lone human god doesn't work? Wait, that should change something...

What's more, if a Jesus existed and developed a good-evil philosophy that made sense to many people, if the rich laughed and saw all that as a load of bullshit, then why not compete the spirituality and philosophy with their own vision? Not by directly taking the evil role, but if they believed lying to masses was justified for peace whatever it twists the mind and judgment, all the way to justify indoctrinating masses, if they wanted god as a top brick powerful human master of the universe, something related to their own ideal, then they may have taken their believed rights to the maximal drastic extent possible.

Usual conspiracy theory stuff, but that's one thing I can believe in, and it changes nothing to the fact that we may be all wrong in our truth about Jesus. And why would the true Jesus not be a normal person? You think someone can't exist to be like him? He got a monopoly? Maybe there have already been a few Jesus kind of people we didn't notice because we think of them as a Christian perversion.

A "Jesus" may have believed in a form of reincarnation too, and said he would come back to humiliate his enemies (surely not come back to "love" them, yes, I was there too!), and those deciding things who believed they had the right to do anything to keep people peacefully under their control, twisted reincarnation to resurrection to fit their goals. Worse, they may have decided to test it against their philosophy where everything is permitted since good is supposed to win, that way they can make hell while awaiting the birth of a new leader of the chosen one at some point in history to see if the prophecy philosophy can win against a whole planet in hell! The scary thing is that it happen all the time! No, I just decided good and evil don't exist, not because it does not, but just because I'm a big baby, and that's what I'll become, a guy that don't believe in good and evil, try to stop me! As always, everybody was missing the possibilities and probabilities part, they saw things as a matter of final truth baby competition, not as a matter of believing logically; even today, can someone point me a spiritual book based logically like mine? I'm sure you won't find one, because they're all meant to glorify some guy.

The problem is a limited vision made final truth, the good always win principle implies that you don't do things on purpose to destroy humanity; if you want hell, if you want to preserve it, if truth is found and it pass through people who got the means to twist or hide or eliminate it, what can you do? We are our own failure, if we work against life we'll fail and disappear, that's all, and in the end, good will still win since the evil human is dead. At the farthest extent, I could say evil don't thrive in outer space, and only the best pass its greatest tests, so even if evil takes over the whole universe, the universe will reformulate without a survivor or positive result except knowing what formulae of life not to use again. So good always win, as for truth, it goes with good.

But was the philosophy developed to that point at the time? The powerful may have wanted god as politicians since the human was all there was in the universe, don't forget they could believe final truth that the earth was the center of everything and it was flat, at that point the elite had not the capacity to comprehend whatever the logical argumentation, and in the end insanity managed its way, so what's the value of my logical argumentation? And what was the universe at the time for the elite? What was a human? So logically, their spiritual philosophy was limited to a human on earth thing; first the human would never end, thank god, and any other spiritual philosophy could not work and could be tested (destroyed) at whatever extent wanted depending on any factor, mostly human emotional. So, whatever their experiment fails or succeed, it may be too late for humanity because they made evil invincible with religions. How would someone develop a different spiritual philosophy if they made things so he would have to be a Christ making miracles as a competition to get people believing in his vision? That's completely insane! And he would have to become a "super" "star" and survive his many powerful competitive enemies full of means and their followers...

Christianity still may carry a fundamental story or two, about the sun, stars planets, life, gods, carried from times immemorial as fables, then twisted to serve the cause, the Egyptians all the way to the romans, pyramidal style. A Jesus may represent the super super old story, as a real guy that could fit the spot, as one or as many, under a non-twisted form, a person with exceptional abilities developing under a combination of personal challenges, and on his quest to understand he end-up developing always the same kind of vision or philosophy, always making the powerful unhappy...

Christianity may even know it, people have been existing for thousands of years before them, and the bible is full of weird psychology, so yeah, it may know the recipe to make Jesuses at the chain, from witnessing the common denominator of their apparitions, which is a random rarity dependent from a reality that is inadequate, to make things unlikely; jesuses are just super strong and intelligent kids pissed off to go nuts in youth all the way to adulthood, really... As to the historical facts, they may not exist simply because they are always killed and replaced by his enemies; manipulators like to travestite history to their own ends too, and Jesus is simply anybody, but he choose an unusual path because of his experience in life, and the faith he has in himself versus what he deducted as his value and responsibility, and he ends up giving a lesson, with himself as an example. And doing so he falls on the bad side of many people, people who have things to protect, as much philosophy as a way of life as well as richness and sexual ways, jealous people, evil people, people in denial, all seeing Jesus for what he is, a poor guy that can be proven wrong with a good beating, and if he's just a poor guy then why wouldn't the powerful use him? Why should a poor inferior tell powerful self-inflated people they are evil? Why not make a super manipulation amalgam of philosophy, spirituality and mentality to defend their system that is always the best like the Egyptians? Then be rid of these fucking Jesuses forever by making it impossible for one to surpass the bullshit story they made with all their means...

I don't think the elite of the time wanted a single word from any good spirituality or philosophy (if their attitude and type of party are any clue to how unrespectful and completely disconnected from the population they were, a class apart...) to the point of making an opposing religion and destroying everything for their view to win, if not, then why did they invent witches? What was a witch? And people truly believed there was witches! Which is totally absurd beyond any sense, and many very good women were tortured and assassinated, because they were different, from this totally insane belief! And you think I'm crazy? I'm sure I could have fallen in love with a "witch", what if women with a different mentality were the ones to attract a Jesus style person? Not only they killed him and no Jesus ever become a leader of anything ever again, but the witch thing may amount to do the equivalent job for his type of girlfriend! Maybe my witch have been tortured and killed in front of me and the trauma so intense in my love that it reverberated in my genetics and that's why I hate religions so much... (Wow, I just thought about my girl, she dressed a few times as a witch for Halloween (and I never suggested it). But maybe I exaggerated the effect since my witch is now a Christian...A Christian witch, it had to be that way, it's so sad, and revolting thinking I could be into something...

I'm sure those assholes hide tons of life knowledge that proves they serve Lucifer, they ran all over the world with their teams of scribbles, they used all what they found to make the most evil plan ever. Old civilizations that crumbled from the top of their pyramids could have left explanations of what truly happened to them, the steps they went through and at which interval a step took place, with extrapolations, don't think no failed civilizations wrote about their end (civilization that crumble are proven evil without potential for reversal; you're supposed to survive if you're good enough, they tried, but no). And if the writings were made evident, then they could be destroyed by those finding it, not necessarily Christianity, but they ran all about the world in every forest far before archeologists, and they did what they wanted with what they found... 1/2

Now, since I'm on that path, what if I was born on the 24 of December at around midnight during a rare event? Is it a sign of greatness? Nah, nothing except some free troubles, like going to the midnight mass at your birthday to twist their prayers and lie yourself some criminal activities, all under the nose of god!

I may like a bit of reincarnation, and a touch of gods, but numerology has nothing to do there since Jesus was born just before time was "invented" (reset)! Still, you could say that, if you want to have infinitively more chances to look or act like someone else, you're as well be born at the same time, like twins? That's an interesting view since you have the choice to view the likeness of attitude in some twin as a proof of either some spiritual concept like numerology or the zodiac, as a reproduction particularity, or an autosuggested psychological effect. I believe in the later, so that would mean there is not much to numerology or the zodiac.

And you'd think being born a 24 of December gives you some kind of Jesus privilege, but my mother didn't think so at all! More like the contrary, no quarter given! It's overrated man, and you got to go to the midnight mass, and all the party it's not for you, it's for some other guy and the whole family is into your gifts, ah, hell, it felt like I've been stolen something all my youth, for the rest of my life. Yeah, I'm so lucky to pass Christmas, my birthday and new year alone in cheap places every years for the last 15 years; it seems like everybody is having fun on my birthday except me...But, it's my problem, really, too poor and no girlfriend, but let it be known being born a 24 won't bring you luck or gifts, or specials, and there's disadvantages too, the Jesus stuff stick to your ass all your life, you always have to check if Jesus is influencing or something, and there's weird reactions with people too! And if you're having a big philosophy brain, then hell on earth because you got your 2 feet straight in the stuff! I tell you it sticks...That's a lot of bad stigma, the hair style can stick too, and having independent opinions is more rigorous, particularly if your family is into church, then you are condemned in youth to develop a bigger de-bullshitting engine than most, if not you fall in Jesus traps and do unworthy things. All along your life you'll meet people who will react worse than sexism when they'll see Jesus, and worse than racism when they'll see the antichrist. Why should there be a special day where jesuses are born? That would only create tons of unfair situations. Anybody can be a Jesus, ok? Just do it!

If you have circumstantial adequacy, because it sure won't work like that in rich families... It's all at the bottom that the action takes place, poor people born that day are given additional bad luck by the bullshit of society, they are forced to develop their minds in a way that is at risk of further shortening their life, and I want compensation, and I'm serious, you know I weight my life against fairness! And I'm not responsible, I'm not even responsible for this book, in fact I'm responsible for any good that comes out of it because I took the mind challenge and succeeded in finding the best or a better path, but what if I'm born a moron? Because, you know, we are all morons of different levels! (that doesn't work, or does it? I guess it does, you can distribute moron levels quickly with a baseball bat...) Then what? Gonna give me hell because I can't differentiate shit from food? Maybe...anyway, what was I saying again? What I mean is that this responsibility shouldn't be forced on me, and I know that to people this Jesus "crisis" is ridiculous, and I'm not telling you to care, but it is important to me to know wtf! Or where I come from so I know where I should go, and this book I wrote it for life in a way people can understand what I understood of everything, because I may as well be the only one ever to have the capacity to do it with life relation adequacy before it's too late.

I sometimes wonder if all I fight against is PMBBD, that this interest for pub in my youth, and my revolt against religions, everything, it's just the different sources trying to manipulate. And you got to actually decorticate everything to know if it is credible or not, you have to argument for yourself, if not you become a vessel or further wrongs, so you can't just shout bullshit! You have to verify or you play a dangerous game, but do you think I pass my time dismantling PMBBD? No! And don't do this, I would have shot myself long ago... That's not how I work, and there is no recipe btw, it's an attitude thing, it comes naturally from hating PMBBD for a long time. Let's say, for the sake of having an idea, that when I hear something 3 times some lights go on (always on with singers...), and I decide my attitude with it, and I'm entitled to someday be pissed off by the stupidities, other days appreciate the melodies. So it's quite simple really, when I remember hearing or reading something a few times I think seriously about it, and through the years my mind decided to both serve me the capacity to do it without effort, but the answers to my "prayers" too, in the sense that seeing that I care sufficiently, then it's important enough that my mind prepare interrelated answers and philosophies on its free time while I do other things. Things don't even have to be forced because they kind of stay in suspension out of my preoccupation while I cumulate other pieces that will make the answer or idea rise more evidently to consciousness. Which may be related to this constant wheel of amelioration of everything that goes on through the years, and I still don't know where I'll hit like the G summit of this, if there is one, the problem is pooling adequate data which is extremely difficult to get right in my position of a feeling guy of logic that just play games and go take walks and watch some news, and it's all wrong, I get it all wrong before managing to get it right, so what the heck...

Anyway, our classic gremlin stands no chance, poor him, the price is paid by him in evil, a big dose of it, and me I have to pay the ultimate price in having to live in a crazy situation if I'm to take the responsibility that was forced on me by the Jesus birthday and coincidences party incorporated (no day of the birthday in the life reality btw...)

The dangerous game here is that there is so much of it in this reality that your mind that always try to do thing easier or faster or better, comes to associate it to a style, and you risk eliminating excellent wisdom, or removing valuable credit to people. A truthful piece of wisdom that traverses through time is very valuable, as much as the most complex mathematical formulas, then there is the matter of the first one and only one, then there is the matter of matter transformation procedures that will build walls around the source too, but that's just between me and life...

There's after death too, to think about, and the way I see it, to maximize my chances to be in the right or to do good or act in the best manner, then I should want to at least show I tried to preserve the integrity of what's supposed to signify something.

I don't see why after death would be less complex than living, there could even be after death galaxies with planets and stuff, why not? I'll design them if they don't exist! What? You think people flying around in space is cool? Or being a ghosts stuck in a wall with waiting for the ghost detector hotline is a better idea? No, my style of after death is made of possibilities and probabilities for a far better start, the rest, well, it lead to impossibilities becoming possibilities, so there is no limit, the door is the limit (test, step, understanding). In another scenario where forces are related to principles, then I would want to maximize the play of forces going for me, and minimize dangerous risks, critical strikes if you prefer (it's more critical when you're running fast, or blind...and people like scientists can deliver, so I should be careful, but I'm not 100% careful, I'm just too strong, sorry...)

I heard a few times that the more advanced the technology, the less discernable from magic. What? Are you trying to confound magic with technology to help the ego gods ideology there? But no, it's a bullshit that actually works! Let's give it a serious shot. We'll go unconscious and suppose in there was 2 (for simplicity) choices to describe the increasing level of understanding necessary for higher technologies; you can chose to twist magic unto technology because you are too lazy to understand and you want to validate your justification by spreading your lack of understanding to other (gang forming) with a short bullshit phrase; but that's the predictable choice, the easy and shortest route for evil, probably worse than doing nothing (pure entropy) and it goes straight to the dump at best. For the other choice, you could have invented a phrase to separate tech from magic even further, use your brain to find sound arguments that people could understand and relate with. Here's how I see things; understanding technology is proportional to developed brain abilities. OK? Now, move. If you want a good relation to magic, then you say something to the effect that to ignorant or animals (except cats and panthers and cows and all kind of other animals who got the brains to understand that all there is to do is wait after you...) technology is like magic (it was not even magic to me at around 7, it was intelligence, nothing scary or illuminated there, contrary to religious ceremonies, and I even think that practically all animals know it's just dangerous stuff made by barely civil chimps who lost their fur, and hands are everywhere, we're just stuck with crap hands because we have to dig dirt or scratch flesh to survive, fuck you!...).

Don't you think that ended badly? What I'm saying is that from my point of view magic is technology, or if you prefer, there's some kind of underlying knowledge (technology) that I could gain to get the same result. And it is just logical whatever people try all their might to make magic a power given from god that defies reasoning, and thinking otherwise just make fools, it's funny, but not when all life pay the price of of its ultimate form making a fool of itself in front of the universe. Like infinity, it's all a matter of supposing magic is a thing in the first place, is it? It is in games for sure, thanks, but if you're a bold animal in the forest and you stumble on a stereo, is it magic? I'm not so sure when thinking survival, I think you have to make a kind of sect for magic to exist, a lone wolf would find the music curious, abnormal, scary, but a wolf knows instinctively that there is a fantastic pile of knowledge that is beyond his reach, instinctively, so the music box would be a bizarre object, no more, make a weird sound and "crack" no more magic! Or "I'm outta here!". But a gang of wolves with a competitive mentality would want to prove something out of the stereo, see who's boss, give them just a little more intelligence and you bet one is going to become master of the stereo and use it to manipulate the rest with god and magic, and this is permitted by the vast difference in intellectual capacities within the same species, the we're born around moron (you get out of it ideologically for yourself while living, life do it genetically by your late reproduction, by little lucky happenings, depending how thoughtfully you did the first part.) There's the example system too, which is sufficiently real to be worth the same value as the reward system, all life look at other life for examples, it's a question of survival too. So yes, for some people what they don't understand is like magic, they see a stereo and they think a ghost was involved somewhere in production. There. They have a hard time discerning when they see magic versus when they see technology. There. Ahem...

Another thing are my initials; JND Jesus New Dawn! How about just Esfhcvbxc? It had to mean something, and there! What am I gonna do? I'll play the fucking game, but just because I can, that's just it, but I won't be your option, I'll be mine option. Now get your GRC, CIA and FBI and KGB, I'm a national security threat over here, not that they aint got the means to find someone without means. At least now you know, I'm all this and more, unleash the religious hordes now that you got the antichrist, but remember, the antichrist debark from the sky, but me my bones know I wouldn't try it. Ah, it's true, he's been through the 7 levels of hell, so the door is open after all?

What would an antichrist be anyway? Something religious people would be very scared of if they fear their belief is a travesty, if they know nobody walk on water, pop food, heal the blind, separate the waters. Figures of speech related to historic moments? The only reason you want to invent false historic figures to tell history is in fact to manipulate history. And miracles are miracles, not figures of speech; when you say something happened you are very dumb if you twist your lies to say it didn't happen depending on the opposition you meet. The same if you made the affirmation that the earth was flat without a doubt; you were lying if it was not. Lying. The same if you say god is a loner in human image that made everything final truth. The same for all those assassinated witches. The same for exorcists fighting daemons possessing people. And I'm not talking about Lucifer and family, and angels and family, that's simply too far off... And people think they're good for embarking in those lies, and the PMBBD machine surely won't discourage them.

People see the antichrist everywhere these days, the number of the beast too, 666 7316 (my phone number, beware...), there is always an expert messing around scriptures and seeing signs of his coming. And me I have to deal with this because religious people almost caused my death a few times in their fixation already, and I'm far from the show-off type, more like the hidden in my rat's hole type...And I strictly know nothing of what I'm talking about, why should I embark in a religion? Why did I have to do religion when I was young? Why do they try to mess with my adult life? Are they so desperate for their antichrist battle that they created the situation where we'll have to fight them to be free?

Ok, the "antichrist" name in its simplest definition means "anti Christ" in my big brain, since the idea is that there is only one "the antichrist" and I'm the thing; they say, the experts. Is there someone else than a human that can take the seat? My first assumption is that everything have been prepared to dump the possible failure of Christianity and ego driven peoples on the least responsible; either a Jesus guy bring back the glory of the institution, or a Jesus guy bring its downfall, but the churches are already empty no? I already talked about the possibility that the institution has lost its credibility from an "antichrist" messing things from the inside in Love Entanglement, but the rich of the time, what did they have to do, besides making a religion, and living in fear that they may be wrong? Prevent any problem, it's just that instead of doing it like me, up front like a brave, they do it hypocritically through twisted principles and philosophies. So while I invent realities and flower cities and superb philosophies, spiritualties and mentalities, all made as a loner against much hostility, they and their gang prepare invent ways to steal or exploit my work and invent the antichrist in case their worst fear come back to kick them or if they developed humanity as a failure and need a bouc-emissaire.

You are chosen in advance, just you wait to stir enough troubles and your good philosophy and spirituality may as well become a tool to manipulate or even start civil war, put their responsibility on the least responsible or most willing to save things; the leader of a different way without the Christ as the enemy, which has no choice to be. And will people have a choice if those with the means refuse any other way? In the same situation as old times, people would probably have to revolt against the system in violence to change it, and that would be the opportunity to hypocritically start all kind of plans they stashed, to manipulate everything to end-up saying it is the fault of the revolted if things have gone to hell, all the while they adjust their shit with his work then destroy it, again. What makes you think the powerful of today would have a different attitude of those of old? This is the same ideology, so it would be surprising mentally speaking, they pass their time trying to defend the way that profit them the most (current way). And when people will get tired after a few years of being pointed by the well adapted selection, when they'll be starving and dying, particularly if the world ends-up in chaos, who will take over things? Those to whom you gave your energy your time, your beloved rich, and they'll carry humanity to its end without a protest anymore, they will act like the Egyptians of old, and maybe that's why the U.S. dollar got a pyramid on it; they have their spirituality, their paradise where they can do anything, and they'll be buried in luxury, then fall in the lake of fire...

So why would a Christian be so terrorized of an antichrist destroyer of worlds? Why would they pass their time painting these weird, I mean, finding signs in long hairs as they interpret their bible, and John to the Corinthians said something big, you know what each apostle said? I can't even remember half what I say, go ahead, read my book, see what happens with your big memory...And who is writing the stuff like he's a god predicator from the heavens? Humans weirdoes and nothing else, weirdoes through history having nothing else to do than manipulating the story to all kind of versions. Billions of hours have been spent to make the different versions, billion of hours, many manipulators still work on it to this day. So why would they be scared of anything if they're that good an institution spreading Jesus story all over the world as true history?

They are because it is a vast manipulation, they know it is twisted and evil, they fear someone will raise people against them one day or the other. In a sense they are right, but in their own reality; they overlooked the possibility of a new way altogether, and better mood, everything can be made in happiness hysteria, we can enjoy the sex before the orgasm these days, except for chastity people like me, just between you and me, hi, hi, hi, not really, I'm just saying we don't have to go bloody nuts, we have diplomacy, and democracy, in theory.

They thought someone would have to fight them since they made their story of Jesus eternal and invincible as the Jesus Christ; he was the son of god after all. They are the institution that helped the ego-god (s) ideology get planet wide the most, their vision of gods as people like themselves, me too I had this tendency, it's it all over the place as the reality itself, tainting everything. Everything was geared toward their ideals and dreams, while knowing the limitation of the reality at attaining those. It may not be possible for anybody to fight them today, what's an antichrist to do? Just pass by and propose a tradeoff to your unbelievable debt, or just eat it, and prepare to implore pity as you pay the ultimate price for your stubbornness.

The biggest enemy apart intelligence, independence and life, is the truth, and their biggest fear is their own truth, or hell's big nemesis maybe, me, accompanied by your god's nemesis; the UI, but that one is the nemesis of nobody, that's humor... I could discover, as I take my walk, that religions too could show they always had everything to put their things under a more truthful perspective, and discover our little get together may be the greatest opportunity and the last one they'll ever have to come straigt.

For now their attitude tells me they'll prefer to condemn humanity to die, dust to dust, and making an enemy in advance of the one who will try to develop and spread an alternative way is the final nail in the coffin; you can't even compete them, they are final truth until the end. How would the strongest ego god ideology implanter institution see someone invalidating all their mentality? Now that it covers the whole planet under one form or the other? What would they fear the most? A global rejection of it? That would be the end of their world since their ideology covers the whole world. And who would end-up being responsible for it? But I understand that powerful people are no worse than anybody else with responsibility on bad things, they will want it on the shoulders of the troublemaker that's already tired mentally from forever fighting their PMBBD in crazy environments, if the type survives without killing someone... As for the religion, since they believe or want people to believe their vision is the one and only, they'll baptize the risk an evil thing; an antichrist (evil do exist after all). And how would they predict its coming before the end of their vision of the world? There is a legend that someone powerful will come to miraculously destroy them with lightning, the legend of Zelda I think, but there is a worst fear at the bottom your soul when you are alone, that it all make sense. They know they are evil, they've been proven, they proved themselves long ago, they know a valid spirituality and philosophy can appear to compete them, if it doesn't end-up as a sect from the ways of the system... Anyway, competing them on their ground is impossible, in fact, nobody can be their antichrist, and that's why they made it; to be sure no leader ever fight them, to be eternal. So all there can be is someone writing a book of a different way, that's the only way someone can survive while saying what he has to say without entering in a never ending expert competition of twisted words, principles and PMBBD; that's what a sane mind would do, he wouldn't want to start doing the popular for sure...

As for deducting when this ordinary person will make an apparition, it's just the logic of the path they have taken that helped forge a reality where they simply don't appear, it's like the biggest curse that can be invented by evil, after torturing you and your followers and making a parody of all what you stand for we'll make it so your genetic never happen again, which may be an evolutionary key, and so from that point on we just could develop toward the ego-gods ideology. I could finish the story very badly, if you want to go denial, but let's just say my kind of insight is a lesson for the whole universe if myself I'm gonna be faced with history all the way through my eyes that see me writing these lines...

They probably even have some kind of ugly recipe to make one when appropriate, and well, if they make it fit my lifestyle, what can I say? Another possibility may be an unconscious and modifier deduction effect, a vision or dream of the end of their world would mean that their mind deducted the result of their philosophy. Maybe that could have happened to someone that was jubilating continually for 10 years in a row at the fantastic resulting success of the religion, probably affecting all facets of his mind by all the ego possibilities that it permitted him. Maybe that could have happened to some maniac of "writings" too, like a Nostradamus, that may have profited from the occasion to make autosuggestion to make himself a "name", but more likely some religious leader of old, and he manipulated the message to his own ends. The first religious leaders were probably sleeping in the same bed as the Romans "elite", far worse than the Coran, participating in their orgies, killing alongside them, since the religion was accredited by powerful people wanting to calm revolt. Always put things in their context, I don't believe the ones that first made the religion were good people, but the better you are at manipulating history, the better the image. Maybe we'll never know the true drive of initial Christianity, erased, forgotten, but the vision they developed as indoctrination steps to lead to the present view may have been the most evil schema ever developed. How did imaginative people pass time in old times? Probably by making the craziest of plans and stories. They may have made a an extraordinary plan to win humanity to the same kind of wishes as the Egyptians of old, and today you don't remember the true initial drive since history have been manipulated all along, and they surely won't say they defend fundamental evil, they are good believers and anything can be justified while every new pope tries to add its touch to make the religion still more solid.

So their ultimate goal may have been to win the end, infinite time, infinite money, infinite ressources, think infinite was the motto of the time, or be the last business standing, since a business must be eternal, and for a business exploiting people's innocence at tremendous level, you better be having the coat of good on, no? So those defending it believe they are good, even the best, and nobody today would think that the dead grandpa from 2000 years ago was evil as all traces have been erased, but you are still carrying on his goal, and one of those could easily be to defend systemized unfairness or pyramidal institutions until the end. Even today nobody is stupid enough to take the evil role to fight it, and the institution can easily get whole countries to defend it, half the earth, maybe even more, and that's still only a few heads off the hydra, you are still in a reality that exploit people's energy to create systemized unfairness at an unbelievable level.

But for those first ones dreaming at night of future cataclysm as to what their philosophy would lead, it would just be an additional point in their view; they would twist the true dream to serve their cause better, like a big genius idea (I have many genius ideas in my dreams), and they would be dead long before things would end so who cares? And maybe most of those stories of demons and exorcism filling their book arose from dreams some of them made. As for the end of "their world" the message was not that an evil being (like Dracula) would destroy things (the furniture), the message was that the philosophy was exponentially wrong and could only end at the hands of someone that deducted the evil in it, and no choice to be one person as everything starts as such, so that's what their dreams showed them, the chosen one, but nothing magical in this, only unconscious deductions manipulated to become an antichrist enemy.

To add a note about Nostradamus, we have no proof that the man was not born in 1900, even if his birth date was corroborated by a friend... We don't know if his stuff was not manipulated by other people, and he may be under the same unconscious deduction logic I just explained, a religious scriptures crackpot, a history maniac, maybe with a touch of schizophrenia, taking magic mushrooms, learning humanity manipulated history with admiration, feeling alone interested in it, thinking of its great future, then he may have gotten conflicting dreams or "vision magic" showing some truth of his total absorption. He may have had hints as "half dreams" of what he stood for crumbling and he made a big emphasis on it, and because he was limited to extrapolated writings, seeing burning cities meant the end of the world, his world, or more likely just his village. And no way could he deduct that there would be a future after it, or that it could be prevented, or that it would be a good thing since it was logical unconscious deductions from what he believed in.

And I'm giving him a lot of credit here, it's more likely that he got his "divinatory powers from extrapolating stuff he found in rare scriptures, he probably read the bible and spotted a passage on 2012 and he added it to his divinatory powers, and the bible did the same by reading the Mayan bad trip. And I'm probably still giving him too much truth value; I'd put most of my eggs in the basket that he is actually an invention to corroborate the bible, the whole thing could be bogus, even his existence, to twist more possibilities toward what Christianity want people to believe in. When printing presses became widespread, Christianity couldn't manipulate their story as easily anymore, only a new book could spread more ideas and fears, in harmony with the bible and present reality. Maybe it's not even the religion, maybe some obscure institution did it, and it is continually perfecting it like the bible have been perfected for hundreds of years, to create paranoia with it and discard responsibility like it's nobody's fault if all hell break loose on earth, it was all predicted, it's god's fault! Soon they'll release the Nostradamus weekly, where they'll prove all the big wars and the atom bomb were predicted, nothing wrong with human attitudes, whatever we would have done things would have come to that, wanna bet?

In fact, this no hope for nobody scenario is an appropriation or redirection of hope to satisfy the rich mentality that want people to believe everything is patented in advance whatever we do Nostradamus style, or religious style, or Mayan style, and so evil and hope mainly exist through religious texts. There is a faint possibility that everything is a process of imagination, and all we can do is fight against the walls of an invincible result. In this scenario, the UI would have been taken over by another intelligence, like a god, and all what the guy has to do is describe a wanted result and set the parameters (limitations) the UI can go to get at it, the dream of the rich... Then the UI would create life randomness with the associated universe within those parameters to create a story that would inevitably reach the wanted result, whatever the effort of life. There would be no independence, no use to life except entertainment, and so I shall seek destruction of everything, all the way to the UI, all the way to inexistence, to end the suffering, the sarcasm, because caring for creation is the most basic minimum memory function, anybody that insult and laugh at creation is not worth existence, whatever the extent of his power, and I'll destroy the whole kit to leave the place for the possibility of a UI that doesn't lose integrity, or that arranged its functions in a better order of priority. Rich profiteers and manipulators could say it's a test of faith, have faith that humanity will succeed whatever the hell, if you care, but you should not. I'll still destroy everything whatever the result is a paradise, unless this result is the reformulation of everything to be free of this parody. At least that's the result I would ask of the UI...

As for old papers, don't think falsification is a new 2000 concept, I'm ready to bet that a serious team of scientists could create "old" papers from old stuff, all you need is to pass the carbon 12 test and there you go; final proven historic documents; there are many painters that can dumbfound "experts" with copies, what do you think a few millions bucks can accomplish with a team of experts? And his texts take the exact same godly prophet manipulation style than old scriptures, 0% credibility there, interpretation potential infinite, a good place to get all kind of crooks suffering from an attention deficit disorder thriving. Not a chance they would close their mouth, no, they have to create paranoia and disinformation; why did he need to create paranoia if the end was inevitable? For fun? He never tried to bring solutions, no, he only wanted to create paranoia by making a big bizarre book, and now it's freak show 2012. We should burn the nostradamust, the book, supposing it will burn, I don't know in what they dip those books in but they're super hard to burn, at least it's not ironic that they're made to have fire immunity in hell, mine will burn easily though...

The same applies to the bible btw, listen to them popes with their bibles, they are so full of hope in these hard times, and from the general idea I understand, the one I should base my judgment of their effects on, their book is supposed to predict the end and how, so why the hope? Ah, to reap sheep... It's kind of twisted to actuality try to reap a world of follower if that's the conclusion, it's so sick you should be given your wish! Oh did I mention that religious bosses are responsible for all the innocents they sent to oblivion by manipulating them to their religion? Nobody's responsible for nothing? Then why is this institution still standing? Who's responsible? Me? And no need to make me bad for saying it, oblivion it's the best you can have if your belief are worth worse than nothing, worse in relation to the problems you cause to life and people, particularly those like me. That's the heritage you left to those poor souls you travestied, in your great future proven to worsen the effects misery. Me too I believe a cataclysm is coming, your way, because I don't believe, I fear we stretched the elastic until it's ready to snaps! I think you have a poor opinion of intelligence and life, but let's say you're not very much helping in the matter of making things better, you're more like the biggest contributor to make the elastic snap, to make your prophecy come true, but whatever the result, as I write these lines, I condemn the elastic to snap back at your face one way or another (it's just the magic, you got caught at your horrible game, and what's a bad loser gonna do? Doom itself even more in lies and denial ...)

I talk about unconscious future deductions in some brain amalgams instead of the magic used by some to say they have visions of the future, prophets mainly. You can deduct future possibilities in many ways, no problem, but you cannot predict future lotto numbers, try it you'll see, Einstein says stupid things sometimes, not me...

Nobody in the history of humanity that predicted the future ever talked about the most fantastic bouleversement of civilization we ever lived; computers. Why? What's so uninteresting about computers? Why would everybody that see into the future forget about that? That's almost as big as forgetting that things spin...Probably because the unconscious deductions of the philosophies associated to the ideal were limited to the systematization principles coming from it. You can have an idea about philosophical results, but if you aint got a sufficiently inventive mind then you can't imagine computers. That's probably why some people passing their time reading and believing in old books make unconscious deductions always ending up in cataclysms of the worst kind at some point.

So no deductions that computers would overwhelm the world because the path of logic can't go to that extent (you can see some dreams as a tool to create possible creativity from what is in the mind). It depend on what you're faced with; you can predict flying machines, great cities and things, but at some point the "predictions" stop as it is a result from unconscious mind deductions from what's in it. But it still depends on the time involved, the level of study, and the emotive weight. As an example, in very old times, when people were playing with fire and fart gases in a vase, or filled it with something like black powder, or methane fumes, the vase may have gone to the sky like a rocket, and that lighted the mind of their whole civilization in thinking and dreaming overdrive; everybody thinking about all kind of inventions to try to go higher. Then one was so fascinated by the subject and right in his destiny that he got extrapolated view of the possibilities in his dreams, then he drew the thing with a story and the boss of the place forced or encouraged him to work with his scribes to serve his cause, making himself a wonderful story where he came from heavens in a machine, as a kind of pub campaign written on hard rock. Then it became a competition and their religion, like counting on 10 fingers for mathematics, so simple, where every boss was a god coming from heaven. Furthermore, they may have supplemented that with a life view they got from another place, where planets are gods. The superior people of the future would travel to their benevolent stars encased in vases with steering controls, food providing backpacks devices and communication helmets because voice can't reach far. As for the initial fun, it was stopped as dangerous and not mentioned so nobody find the origin of the story; you know how "powerful" people like to manipulate and control history and public opinions... That's what I say about these drawings of "spacemen" that people throw everywhere as proofs that gods extraterrestrials came for a visit, even if I still say it is a very low possibility, but these drawings have nothing to do with the spaceman equipment of a race that can travel the stars, they are either highly imaginative drawings from extrapolated new knowledge, or dream things. And don't tell me they have a helmet with antennas like it is a proof, they just drew a more advanced helmet than what they were currently wearing, a helmet permitting silencious or mind communication, you just have to look at insects for some antennas inspiration of magical communication. Furthermore, didn't I mention there could be many falsifications, as much from recent drawings as from old ones?

So all them mystics missed the computer, and that's important since computers lead directly to more understanding of life; we are just at the beginning of the true understanding of life even if godly scientists think they understand and know almost everything about it as species get extinct one after the other (I should be careful or soon some expert will suddenly find a broken tablet, or a Nostradanus piece of sheet, to prove computers were predicted). But that's not the case, science is very limited in its knowledge, it is very far from seeing all the interrelations of everything, particularly if they think they'll grow clones in 2030 from nano stuff, like they got the philosopher stone, but maybe their judgment is totally impeded by confounding reality with a movie scenario... Furthermore, respect for life is not as easy for people with no life spirituality, who worship life, tree huggers? No government talk about it while it is the most important thing of the universe, of all existence, but god....can't help it.

Now, my previous vision of deducting some future development possibilities involve humans and mind extrapolations from reality; it mean that in this reality, an amalgam of dreams, life effort and mind development could get someone to "prophesize" (deduct unconsciously) some vague turn of events in the far future, if the language is not too conflicting. But precision is another matter; we are far from the precision predicators of the end boast around as final truth. The only possibility I see is if you had a profound life spirituality along with coincidental difficult activities concerning time (memory), probably with something else missing to humanity. Maybe a Jesus kind of person had all that and some predictions in the bible could be true, but what is needed doesn't fit the story we get from the religion. Anyway, they're not a good source of information concerning the truth to say the least.

So now we are polluted by people awaiting the prediction that will hit, and when it will happen all the failed ones will be forgotten and everybody becomes a believer hurray! Now, Catholicism didn't predict a precise date for the end did they? Or is it only Nostradamus? And it's all based on the Mayan calendar that predicted it for 2012? That's a big bet, while it was probably just a tentative limit they gave themselves, like our wall clocks (calendars are clocks) that are 12/12. Don't forget that we have to adjust our clocks, or calendars, to make them fit one year. What were their limits concerning time? What if they were unlimited? Instead of making a limited clock or calendar that repeat itself as a year, they saw it as infinite because the stars don't come back flush, "something is going on, something is becoming, we're going somewhere, it's all in the methodology" so ok, give me a date! "2012!" Why the fuck... "It ends right there in fire", (just kidding, it's just to emphasis the sacrilege effect, this asshole will lose his place, he raped my girl on the sacred hostel...).

They tried some universal time SF stuff, a variable, failing to find it they limited their clock at some point, 2012, because the truth of time didn't fit their predictions, they'd have to skip a earth day (night) cumulated from leftovers, a residue of time which proved that the clock was no good or had to be made better, something like that, but they had worked for a hundred years on it, so they wouldn't scrap it, or maybe they understood it couldn't be made, the clock was a waste of time, or a problem, whatever.

So they had made a problematic clock too big (spiritually, intellectually and in time), it became a thing representing gods, and that's all they had in their complex culture. A tradeoff may have been to cycle it, they may have wanted to cycle it as a normal clock and be done with it, but it may not have passed with the brainwashed selection; nobody touch the clock, it will mess the whole world, and restarting the clock to 0 then what? You can't restart the time of such a clock at 0, everything will end right there, like an atomic bomb!

Another option could be that they were just stupid, sacrificing a number of people +1 every year, and they realized that it wouldn't fit after so long without eventually sacrificing more than what the population could reproduce, thus they associated year 0 on the clock as some impossibility "around" point they judged things couldn't last.

Whatever the scenario they were probably too stubborn to see sense, the superiors wanted to keep their philosophy as the only one possible, they continued instead of changing, enforcing their ways by killing those who tried to do something, continuing their selection. At some point things probably developed in revolt, as whole bunch of people abandoned the accursed cities to live free in the forest. In a sense they took the means to end their civilization, but for them it happened far before 2012, and that's probably what will happen to this reality too, it will fail long before the predictions of the bosses as to how long things can last.

Maybe they even used the limit of it to make believe the end would come at that date to force the population to work harder, to reproduce more too; if they were worth it there was a chance the end would not come. What we don't know is what kind of people they killed from the top of those pyramids, were they evil people? I know experts say they were sacrifices for gods, that they were good sacrifices, that everybody was proud to be chosen to be sacrificed, but is it the truth? For people who sufficiently admire old civilizations to make a career out of it, it is probably important to defend or embellish the civilization as a benevolent one...And that's without mentioning that "powerful" people like to manipulate public opinion and leave behind the story of how good they were, particularly since historians have a tendency to continually be flabbergasted at scriptures giving it far too much truth value than they really have. I say most of what is written of old superior people is pure bullshit, and people were slave to superiors, what you got engraved in rock is their testament dictated by themselves or their admirers, they surely won't say they killed because they were evil, no, they'll prove they killed for good reasons, war, unfairness, defense, god. But yes it is possible they sacrificed humans (life) for god, which is insane.

To go back to the clock, it is possible that they associated the clock to their pyramids too, steps as time slabs or cycles, and the last step is where people die, passing the message that evil would never access the last step of their pyramid, evil ends there, consciousness of evil or the guardian of good is there, and evil must be controlled either with death or laws because it always seek to climb the pyramid and will always succeed if not controlled. Surely they had very serious associations to do this, not just killing fun in the name of god. In the worst of scenario they represent the value of people, with the top position as god doing what he wants with the civilization, while in the best of scenario I would say the pyramid could represent justice. Maybe those people they killed were not random picking, but people who committed grave injustice, and they were offered as a sacrifice to life; instead of just hanging them they made a spiritual association to life or gods, meaning that those people were not worthy of living, It's a possibility, what are the proofs that they did it for the publicized reasons?

Evidently, when things take the form of head chopping and heart piercing with blood pissing everywhere, you are born to develop weird traits, so it probably degenerated very badly, innocent got killed, some revolted from all the blood, others decided to use it as suicide, while those doing the bloody work became insane. One way or the other, a view of justice ca change and create real problems, because to me, among all what I hate of this reality, systemized unfairness is probably the strongest thing, the one that started me against this reality, and it may as well be the one thing that will touch people the most too, injustice, because of the historical repressed cheating feeling, and injustice can easily lead to a desire for retribution (don't confound unfairness with bad luck, people always do that, as they like to qualify life as unfair; unfairness is entirely caused by human attitudes, all the rest can be explained differently, and these differences make it so we have different words to qualify things. I already explained all that, it's just to say that that the worst way to deal with someone who lives regular or big bad lucks is to add unfairness to his situation, a specialty of this reality.)

They were affected in all kind of ways they didn't notice by their beliefs too, they may have been living with fantastic skills in heavy mind conflict, within itself and reality, evil killing evil while everybody think they're good; those at the top saw evil as not adapting their order of things, or stealing an apple, or any lie, or using coarse language on powerful susceptibilities, or not being "peaceful", and with their massive adapted selection they believed they were good and they had the means, no? So they may have killed thousands of poor people working at the "whip" who did small crimes, or bums not doing their biddings; they were not worthy like them, they would never access the last step of the pyramids for sure, they would die there! While those at the bottom may have developed a different view over time, evil as unfairness (could arise from a famine), since those taking unfair means never need to steal food, or is killing one person more evil than killing thousands from the top of the pyramid? Or doing it as armies for rich family hegemonies? Evil as condemnations? As twisting of good principles, as PMBBD on masses, as manipulations of the truth of history? And since these things always start with one person, there goes your antichrist, which probably is a strong logical person that supported way too much and revolted.

Maybe their calendar forced them to extremize their view too, or they may have come to think they were all supposed to have exactly the same piece of the cake, which is no better. So maybe they all disappeared after a kind of good vs. evil battle where only a few survived, unable to run their empire anymore they survived for a few years from the rubbles before finally disappearing, and I wouldn't discard a life system effect in that, as a catalyst.

The calendar was probably a piece of art done by a guy that took it at heart a lot too. While working on the calendar every day for years, he had nightmares about the end of the world, and the calendar construction was at the 2012 step, he may have marked that day as the last one, and stopped the work since it was not worth continuing. Then there is the possibility, unlikely I'll concede, that being very close to life may have been some kind of genetic trait that has been lost from past attitudes (pressure selection or from the way we affected life negatively with it). It may be possible a mutation appeared that led a person to feel a moment where things would end, then how people acted with life (can be the guy with the mutation) led them to die in wars, skipping the genetic difference spreading, along with the possibility. It may be possible that the genetic difference made the carrier "vision insane" too. A lot can happen in the domain of weird possibilities, the Mayan calendar may even have been a "joke" from some life system on humanity, to show its powers, how it could help, like saying "see, I can make a race different enough in philosophy while complex and evolved enough that you'll take thousand years of evolution and science to read their calendar, and when you'll read it, it will say on which day you'll be destroyed, and at which date the decision was taken". Maybe...I sure I'm totally mistaken in my stuff, but I guess any reasons can be good to end your misery.

There are cycles that may scrap everything too, it's possible the Mayan found a way to deduct catastrophic cycles that we have no idea about in our modernity, but a cycle that causes the end every cycle at H-00 is kind of a shitty argument, poor life, and how in hell do you come to such a conclusion in Mayan times? They were intelligent! One last esoteric option for precision is that a life system pushed them indirectly; it gave them the means to understand that they had to move their ass doing good because a big challenge was ahead, as only life systems (or the life god, or ET) can have the deduction ability to identify such long cycles (long cycles is different than a short one multiplied exponentially on other facets, which may be how they deducted 2012, and made their pyramids, meaning they may have spotted a meteor always getting nearer and decided it would hit in 2012). Yes, maybe they were even given a year, but probably the one that came to that conclusion mixed-in a dream with numbers in them.

But nobody is a Mayan here, don't forget those Mayans built a " tribal civilization" in the forest, not a tribe running everywhere in the forest, but something like a civilization, one that had heavy, close, and personal contacts with wild life for thousands years before they reached the top of their ego power-trip; don't think they didn't meet the "forest spirits" long before they started making their Mayan calendar, they probably had a less conflicting language (simpler, more precise in meaning and associated feelings), they may have been far more sensitive to life than we are today, whatever they understood or interpreted a lot of things wrong. Today it's harder to develop certain sensitivities; our languages are an interpretation mess, and we can't "hear" life because it is submerged in the molecular storm and the frequency garbage storm, and pollution. You don't pass your youth time trapping, hunting and collecting, you do, but with tractors, skidoos, motorboats, copters, planes landing on any small lake, big reverberating detonations, timber-jacks, disco, fluo garments, trumpets, satellites, tazers, guns, DDT and Dj "love"...

All that to say that we're not as close to life as the Mayans were, they never heard a motor pumping fuel, start one and you can bet life will suddenly become meaningless, and that's somewhat how we eliminated many good properties in "tranquil" tribes which could have developed differently. If today we meet some civilization (not tribe), it wouldn't fit our view; if they grew without our religion, or Democracy-Capitalism, we would do anything possible to embark them in the business, we wouldn't just accept to help them evolve by being fair with them.

We are far from life, even if scientists believe they are close to it after getting out of their labs to go plant a few syringes and tracking devices, so they can go back to their labs and follow it on their screen for years ending up saying it goes there from here, extraordinary! But it raises its children there, now we can make a costly expertise to save a few. I'm stereotyping the thing a little, I do think there's a forever growing tendency in science to care more for life, it comes with the job I could say, it's just to say that even if you like an animal it doesn't mean you're close to life; it is always an attitude thing. Helping an animal that has a problem (in the head for psy) is not enough, the monster will stick it back over an ugly spot, it's just what it does, stick animals to its skin so it look good and can continue to grow...

Who knows, the Mayan could have died to warn future people that things would go to hell around 2000, we had thousands of years to see it as a goal, be ready for possible dangers, and whatever it was bullshit what would be our regrets? We could have tested the "prophecy" in their honor or something, instead of that, we'll probably show at our worst, image hiding our evil behinds, like suddenly marrying or becoming a religion believer mean you've been good. It's just to say that good people are supposed to be there when it counts, and personally I don't need a date to act good, and my belief is not that I can do what I want and god will pardon me if I get a face lift, endorse a religion, and go to the confessional before the end...

As for a spiritual philosopher Jimbo (Jesus), he could have predicted some things with precision too, or more like deducing the logical extrapolations of the religion the rich were preparing, he saw the end and they laughed. But that would require some conscious and unconscious know how, to describe how things will develop in the future, so "revelations" is kind of strong magic for such a capacity, which is more like a capacity to deduct from a logical set of possibilities from extrapolated knowledge of human attitudes, exactly like someone prophesizing that stealing leads to prison, only in a more boosted fashion. Easy since a lot of negative or bad (made evil) attitudes can be easily identified, long before his existence; did he invent the 10 commandments? Surely not, but a spiritual philosopher may have understood the importance of having good principles thus creating more good principles. So his understanding may have permitted him to unconsciously and consciously deduct some future extrapolations through his sensitivities to those principles; if he knew what was evil and that it would lead humanity to a terrible situation, and he may even have deducted the extreme extrapolations of such attitudes and written a set of signs that explained when that moment would be near, because you know, there's always a sign...

I personally say he didn't predict a thing except hell on earth, Christianity probably got wind of the Mayan bad trip and used it to its own end, mixing in Jesus with their own prophecies for autosuggestion to reinforce their pacification effect and manipulations, and if something becomes truth, hurray Christianity. And don't think Christianity was invented by Jesus, he probably invented a life spirituality and philosophy, got tortured and assassinated by the rich of the time before he could develop it fully and his dreams and imagination was stolen by his apostles, probably half of them were traitors in relation with the rich, not believing in his vision of things out of personal frustration and from the fact he was just human, then the rich made a religion to have his effect, but working toward their own goals. And since they are a tool to pacify, then they may as well say it is Jesus hisself that made Christianity; why should they be responsible for the evils they would create? Let it be Jesus or the antichrist, and if someone save their ass, then it will be a messiah.

So yes the possibility of some level of precision may exist, but we'll see if there will still be humans after 2012, better be nobody left...At least we'll finally have an idea of who's right and who's wrong, and nobody will write crap about the end that must come at all cost to satisfy their beliefs anymore. Anyway, wouldn't you think that if there was some strong value of good in this world it would surface somewhere at the minimum before the end? It's getting kind of ridiculously late. I say those people are a bunch of retard making old Mayan paranoia, and a lot would be happy it became true, and after their exploited orgasm, we're all back worse than ever, thanks, but someday it will happen, and the joke is that it will be anything but a date we deducted in our godly intelligence reading tablets of failed civilizations and believing in our system until irreversible troubles or famine, like they did, and failing to develop foresight from sense and logic, and the strength to correct wrongs before too late.

What will happen to this big and vast unbelievable humanity in super socialization and intelligence and big mouths full of expertise communicating the experience, in professionalism while doing diplomacy over super deep philosophies of magic and illuminated and those singing "I'm so excited!"...

I say after we're dead, 2012, we can bombard all of em, we're all dead anyway, we have nothing to lose, we died in 2012, it's after death man, we're free, we do what we want! We're in paradise since evil don't exist; only good! Everybody get its dreams fulfilled. Ah, you believed yourself good? You are! Next, you too! Everybody is good! Hurray! But if good and evil don't exist, no need for a paradise! Hur...ray? No need for nothing, everybody got everything they don't need. In fact, we don't need to exist if principles don't exist...

So stop reading the Nostradamuss, these are not even good as stories for your children, it's not healthy, and the attitude we presently have looks like the right one to get the end, no need for an old civilization to set up a date for a clean-up, you're supposed to be more evolved and know better than them.

Mayans, Nostradamus, Catholicism, am I missing more doom day predicators? Taken all together I'd say they had enough competence to make me come to the same conclusion as I did by looking at the time slab of reality I'll live my life in, which is that the end, if we continue as we are, will come anywhere between 2050 and 2150, whatever the style... but I don't see the end without life for a very long time, more like loss of space potential, loss of hope and interminable regrets.

As for the antichrist, it means that the only way they saw out of their mess is total war and destruction, or that's what they developed as thinking they're worth, as a kind of provocation for good to use savage violence on them to prove they are no better, they sure don't look like they need to make a visit to god's confessional, they'll never take the responsibility of their wrongs; you'll have to take the evil role and fight the governmental organization, because it is minimally worth mentioning, which transfers a big slab of the population away from violent protest to a lot that can be controlled and be made to act like an army, or as a buffer against the institution, while putting military energy away from citizen policing and more for wars. The same for a population deep in PMBBD, it will work as an army defending their hype or indoctrination; they'll follow the way of the boss in the end whatever happens, even if they question or protest on facets, or bitch among themselves.

Most religions have been involved in military conflicts directly, and those conflicts are mostly based on injustice created by conquering disproportionate egos, which includes sending religious emissaries to expand the great news to lost tribes in the woods. They kind of condemned humanity to evil too, that's worth mentioning, I don't know if there's a bonus, but it's at least that. They are good at extremismizing violence and doing massacres from what I know too, and then they say we're infidels that misinterpret their messages, but your effect on reality is your effect on reality...

Let's say that they kind of had a big effect on the pressure selection process too, just so we stay stuck in ego god (s) ideology stuff and never evolve past that. Oh, and they left tons of people half-crazy and unable to ever regain critical judgment, that often happens when people believe too hard or too long in bullshit and it can be worse if they suddenly decide to discard it, thinking they're strong and all while they've been weakened, or still worse the effort to get away may propel you to exactly the contrary extreme; from believing in bullshit, they switch to believing in nothing at all, which can be worse than believing in bullshit, and this effect can be at a humanity's scale if the religion manipulated people's mind through history, particularly if they fooled in reproduction. So when people drop religions, they risk doing it the worst way (or the easiest way) by tagging all spirituality as bullshit, and the end result will worsen everything, and when people will have enough, you'll have jobless religious bosses smoking around every corner waiting to welcome people back with open arms saying "see, things were better when most people were religious!". This effect lead to exactly the opposite than learning the tools of good consciousness and good spirituality, even philosophy can become bullshit if it take rage to get out of a wrong vision. (there's a whole movie where the story is exactly that, where some guy (a chosen one) finds a bible in the rubbles of dead humanity and he starts pushing people back to Christianity suggesting things were far better when people were Christians, that things went to hell because people dropped religions, and he succeed, evidently...).

One of the main reasons why we have incredibly poor and insanely rich people presently is people of the past manipulated to religions from youth instead of growing a good independent soul, religions make people work harder, but they become smaller, and that is a very dangerous tangent because with unfair families dynasty principle and unfair class division, you could actually create the pyramidal representation of the ego-god (s) ideology, with successful families become taller and far better equipped to live love versus lower people who may actually become smaller from the weight of their responsibilities, while bowing to superiority and authority, generations after generations...Just a theory, but statistically speaking that should be interesting, while taking the selection process into consideration...

Now, you still have to take some upon yourself, I don't like religions a lot because of how my vision of things developed, but their presence in my youth wasn't like a big trauma, and I can't live in the place of the people of the epoch, but I still call that profiting from innocence, an attitude that should be proportional to the strength of the belief or the subsequent mentality (ego) too; priests are the boss of the belief that don't make sense to me, and they profit from the innocence of people to manipulate them, and they have a tendency for pedophilia, but that's probably innocent coincidences, just saying...The most indoctrinated people, and often those who most virulently defend wrongs, are those who weren't raised in an independence manner and who only read a few books in their lives to decide they found truth or wisdom, but that sounds too much like me (SF books...), so we'll say there are exceptions. That's how many religions gained so many adepts, it understood marketing and by being first to have some cute book with ideas worth carrying around, and by educating people to make them read religious texts as their first profound reading experience, the one that will imprint their feelings and imagination the most. This form of manipulation is still going strong, there are many insignificant people just dying to deflate in the competition, waiting to prove they are better than others, and you can bet a religion is an option...If humanity has made a mess of itself it is in big part thanks to religions, one way or the other, and you can bet that if things are to derap, they'll be at the forefront, they'll need to, it's their job...

Next, I believe a critical part the evolutionary process is based on the capacity of the mind to eliminate logical conflict within itself, and it's not only a phenomenon going on through languages and understanding, but believing as true things that are not part of physical possibilities, or the general view of impossibility, stagnates mind development and creates retard too.

Now, demolishing a tool doesn't kill the beast (the ideology, not that it has to be killed...), and the only way may be to disarm current reality, since in the past the violence machine of the country was always turned against people if their wishes could seriously affect the standard of living of the rich, yes, always, always (but there's always an exception...), and don't think the democracy-capitalism business is the exception to this because it runs everywhere to defend the populace in places it is not implanted yet. Anyway, that's not the goal, I may not like religions but they're part of history, a strange part that may not turn badly, we don't always have to do things bloody.

It doesn't have to end-up obliteration, we could try something different than WW3, with papa reality with its big weapons to protect and keep stability. I guess they didn't think about that one back at the time, they knew intelligent people were exploited and they saw only war out of it since they protected themselves by twisting everything, and there is no denying god! The category of attitudes that is best served by their system believe their view is the best of the universe, and they may be right, but we could try to prove them wrong, with a fair chance.

So they'd call him an antichrist to displace the emphasis from the responsibility of the institution that profited from a Jesus kind of story, to a personal thing against another human being that knows nothing of the truth, not even if the Christ existed for a start, but those assholes got a veto on his existence. That's why I use "Christ" instead of "Jesus", one is an institutional PMBBD name, the other the name we'd give a person. Next, calling a person an antichrist makes him another godly thing, a big enough entity to hide their worst fear behind I guess, particularly if he was born out of a virgin that stayed a virgin at it...that doesn't seems to work, zip-lock, wow!

You could see things as a matter of protection levels too, as solutions to possible logical deduction; another way that could have led them to prepare the terrain, concluding in the need for a malevolent being that would respond within their set parameters, like in all movies, ending up responsible for whatever the damage the institution takes. Then the institution would rebuild itself better since it would be an opportunity to change everything; something they can't do in normal times because people would go nuts and revolt or accuse the pope of being an imbecile.
The ideal would be a person that can be manipulated and influenced in all kind of hypocrite ways from birth to take the wanted form, maybe they really have an antichrist baby making recipe somewhere... He would "appear" regularly and live a difficult life by his attitude, and die. When something is wrong he go nuts and it's a sign that the end of times is coming, he's waking up. But no, stay realist. The churches can be empty at that point since the religion is to take the flak in an all else fails situation. One thing's for sure, it is necessary for that person to appear before the end of the religion it if it is to end it... Next is that once humanity is in big troubles, since they can make people believe the end is coming, then people will want to find someone to blame, to put their failures on with hate; you know how responsibility is, and that can be the church as well as their antichrist... And last, the person wouldn't be able to "lose innocence" enough to see himself as a menace seriously. But they could be mistaken about him on the fear factor, or how long their philosophy would last for a second, or what form society would look like after a long time for third. Worse, he could develop his own vision of everything leading to a check mate game over of it all! It could happen if their "antichrist" wouldn't associate to any of their protection levels. Worse still, he could invent a new reality! WTF is this concept? You're cheating! Shut-up! It's a concept for evolved people, and we restart time at 0 btw, that's the end the Mayan predicted, yep, exactly...

Maybe the "powerful" took example from "Jesus" and extrapolated that another person would someday succeed at invalidating their vision, like "Jesus" may have almost succeeded at doing, but they didn't take all factors in consideration, they couldn't know what the future would look like for a start, or they may have succeeded at making themselves invincible too, by the biggest cleanup of a machiavelism gaffe that will still ruin everything.

So for the person that could have been capable of changing things in old times, today the notion is ridiculous. And yes it is about changing the world, if he existed, that's what "Jesus" wanted, even if he failed and reinforced it by being travestied as a Christ by an institution that should probably be his enemy. It's all like the continuation of the biggest crime against a person you can commit, and against humanity too, while being so twisted that whatever the hell that happens they actually think they can put it on his shoulders too, and psychologically speaking it means they know they are at war with life and intelligence, because how can you come to do that against its finest specimens, and it reflect their opinion of the resulting intelligence of their systematization, so they are at war with intelligence, and all the bullshit and twisted spirituality and philosophy make it so they are at war with evolution too, and with the UI evidently, but it's all a matter of ideology.

I say they used some sort of logic like I just explained to suggest that an end to their religion or the reality they defend, could be put on the shoulders of the one successfully developing a different spirituality and philosophy, supposing he does not end-up entangled in their manipulations. So auto-suggesting the title of antichrist in the minds of people is perfect, to use the immediate effect of rejection from all religious people; if someone attack the institution, they just have to point a finger and everybody will say "Nooo! He's the antichrist destroyer of worlds! Read the scriptures (v2019)! Get the atom bombs out!" The ideal is to get him killed immediately if people start believing there's something to him, limiting the martyr effect since they'd have to kill him one way or the other, so let's limit damage by doing it while people are not too attached. What can he do now? Stroll about distributing counsels? An enemy of the Christ shaking hands all around? Very safe... And I'm not talking about the panoply of insignificant manipulators trying to profit from antichrist hysteria, I'm talking about the one that will be pointed by the institution as the antichrist; there can't be 2 Christ, there can't be 2 antichrist.

It doesn't mean evolution is completely stopped or that intelligence or creativity is in a downward curve, but let's say the logical path of what's possible is blocked and we're not only morphing to this ideology and its reality, but we're forcing the mind to insanity and weird developments to circumvent mental blockages distributed by reality, to forever manipulate and control better. The system is meant for the best manipulators to control and exploit the developing intelligence of people through pressure selection with PMBBD and violence for profits while being admired in luxury (the ideal of superiority, of total control, possession, creation...), and the same kind of attitude will stay there since it is a pyramidal system and you must surpass god (with the UI? Yeah, and all those big masters are data that I'll access as I watch history, you may always come back to existence with the UI, probably right in the fire of the action, as I make an intervention, to know WTF went through your mind, if I'm permitted to go to that extent...), but for them they'll probably interpret it as the capacity to make everybody fly in the air; god could do that! Or something like that, I'm exaggerating a little, but other potential alternatives are seen as competition to destroy.

Why would you compete any different view to tribal level if your goal is not to condemn humanity? Particularly if it is meant to give a better life to people and reach goals in a better way. So not only you don't give a chance, not only you compete to death an ideal or way that don't exist yet, but you assassinate it right from the start, you eliminate the most worthy possibility humanity can seek; the possibility of a better way. You make it absolutely and totally impossible for anything else than pyramidal ego, to exist, you condemn humanity to it, and you condemn humanity to die on earth too. Even if you successfully build an interstellar vessel, you'll have the universe against you since if you meet someone with a different way you'll fight him too, because nothing can be superior or better than your vision of good, where your ego is bigger than the universe, you can think marketing now, to sell these galaxies, eh, think about it, someone else could steal them and the profits wouldn't enrich a self-inflated human, someone else could take the moon and plant its flag on it! But you already did that...

Now, I may be underestimating those religious manipulators since if they got a reform to make, they'll need the antichrist to "rule" a few years for sure, attacking their institution, until people reject him or kill him. For that they'll need people to attack the ruling class, and what can be better than calling such people "anarchists"? They just fit the spot too nicely, don't you think? Probably what happened at year 0... So they'll want to make it look like he will come because people are not believing enough in god; he will be like a punition sent by god and when people will have enough of fighting, in big part religious hordes (the more troubles, the less education, the more followers), when a majority will be dead, they'll abandon, reject or kill him, and some will even go, or go back, religious, and Christianity will make its reform to become more invincible. All that is just to explain how the notion covers all possibilities, but an antichrist still can't exist unless it is needed by Christianity itself; a free leader would be killed or stripped of credibility far before leading armies.

So to recapitulate, it is all a matter of public opinion and relations, and while to a Christian nothing can be worse than an Antichrist walking the earth, as time passed, the definition changed to an enlarged one; an antichrist would be anybody attacking "the good order of things", causing brain crackdowns and chaos. Today if an antichrist was given the name, he would get many followers forming a gang of antichrists, and a Christian strong believer would go kaputt wanting to destroy the enemy with a bomb, while "normal" people at home only half believing would slowly polarize their opinion toward that end too. The antichrist was invented to protect the systematization of unfairness, or to take the blame whatever the hell.

As for anarchy, who invented the thing? And for what? To protect their system too, to prevent an uprising against their institutions, to have innocents to put the blame on if they need to make a reform, things like that. In that time I'm sure anarchist people were seen as crazies without laws and the worst enemy of people of sense like politicians (or the original definition has been quickly manipulated to become that, for those who absolutely want to prove the contrary). Then as time passed, the definition changed to an enlarged one to embark as many people as possible, it would become a system against a system. Today anarchism have many followers and a Capitalist would go kaputt being besieged by anarchists; he would want to destroy them with a bomb and normal people at home only following the laws would slowly polarize their opinion toward that end too. Anarchism was invented to protect the rich, or take the blame when their institutions will need a reform. People see anarchists as people who scrap stuff, probably randomly, even terrorists, and that will not change whatever you twist the definition to include everybody and everything, like love; people know what true love is, they'll always do, whatever you twist it to include everybody and everything. I'm even ready to bet that many people who were part of anarchism violence in all kind of protests around the world were probably paid by governments to scrap things and manipulate public opinion, to create an enemy, the rest are an inexpensive bunch indoctrinated to the beauty of anarchy, like they are in a religion or sect. Now, all that is only a tool that can't be used unless "powerful" people need to reform the laws system; meaning anarchists will never have a competent leader unless the system wants them to have one, they will even provide the traitor if they have to, and create system weaknesses for him to grow in power.

As for the control steps to limit a free antichrist leader, he would probably stop at the first or second level; maybe he would keep it at trying to demolish a Church, just being an enemy of the Christ, and even if he destroyed most stuff related to it, it would still be like damage control for people controlling unfair means (you can control unfair means to create entertainment by the way) since he would show himself as a superior thing to a Christ, and that damage would concern only a fraction of the ideology; those highly associated to the religion. The second level is the demolishing of the institution for religions; their world would end at the hand of the antichrist, destroyer of religions, which would still be a superior thing. Next is where everything is, ego superiority competition, the ego-god (s) ideal with its religion shield among other PMBBD protections, with its religious army and the atomic war machine as a weapon. The antichrist got to beat all that if he's got to be able to surpass their ideal they think, while being superior to the Christ son of god, wow, that's a big contract! It's like the god version of the Christ! Got to make power miracles at the chain! The equivalent of the Christ but inverse! Everybody on earth knows his name and story, time have been reset in his name, he's everywhere around under all kind of forms, you can't be bigger than that, what a wonderful advantage to the "powerful" to have one, and with the whole earth as an army and with all the war machine the ideal is invincible! The only thing that can be superior is god itself, or Allah or such variant, the planet is held hostage by the rich, you have to be a god! So the last level is the destruction of the whole ideology behind religions and protected by it, the ego-god (s) ideology, that which existed far before Christianity, that which caused the death of trillions of human being in horrors and wars through history, that which destroys the integrity of the minds of everybody including themselves, that which destroys history, that which handicap the judgment of billions, that which is killing all life exploiting everything, that which is imposing to good an always bigger and uglier war the more we wait, accept, pardon, tolerate, believe, adapt, or even admire "peacefully".

As for holding the planet hostage, if that was the goal as a kind of ultimate evil or provocation, then know that the concept is quite ridiculous in front of the UI and the number of suns in the universe developing life; that's just laughably stupid, you'll just disappear, but not before passing through life systems as an evil failure that made of its planet a paradise for evil...As for living gods, I don't know, they could use life systems to reset things if the planet still got high consciousness potential, if not they'll leave you to your misery to see if you can develop genetic regrets or something, or they may simply explode the earth, bang! The end. Worst case scenario they'll die with you if they are stuck within the solar system, but that is very improbable, it would prove their incompetence though, particularly if they are traitors to the goals of the UI, like developing the planet for no good goals toward the advancement of life, like trying to take control of locked functions of the life god, bad idea since it is an extension of the UI and can manipulate life systems, or developing a pyramidal reality in association with the rich for self-interests and having engineers and programmers to try to corrupt the life god, but I'm probably the only person in the solar system to suppose such a concept, and understand the futility of the tentative, because the programming is dependent from a dimension that is under the control of the UI. So if gods are stuck here, they'll never leave unless the life god decides it, and trying to corrupt the life god is very risky business, the same for making an evil planet where high consciousness life has no chance of success, or where a god can descend to and make a big show of his powers; the UI got things automated under the form of life systems, action reaction, but it is attentive to all the exceptional developments in the universe through its extensions, and it rewards or punishes living gods personally, exceptional life too. I wouldn't want the personal punish option...Now, if a god took an evil path, then the life god would have deducted it at some point and simply killed him.

Yeah, I know, but am I crazier than religious stryuff? I think there's a nice logic to it. It's all a matter of caring about too many things, not in the sense of taking care of, yes, but in the sense of seeking a meaning, because everything has a use and a meaning. When I was young life was interesting to me, I played with it, studied it, science technology too, and later people became interesting to me, the system too, then psychology, philosophy, spirituality, I got interested in my own soul where I found love, and all along my hate for this reality grew. I started developing a vision of life systems, then a vision of the universal intelligence (UI), then a vision of gods as living entities associated to the life god as an extension of the UI.

So you see believing is not a matter of religions, it is a matter of caring, until you start seeing the perfection in everything I could say, but that may just be me. People who believe in nothing shouldn't have rights, I even think believing in a religion is better, to tell you...but let's say it can be a transitory state, because frankly, there was an epoch where I believed in nothing, an epoch that ended with that feeling of deep gloominess, and I made a talisman to start my spiritual quest, met love, and grabbed life as my savior and never let go whatever the hell; maybe some kind of proof can be made that humans are trustworthy and can minimally work with life...So yeah, atheists are people too, in potential... I like to think gods show themselves in things you'll most likely reject from reality's pressures, it's like me that had to reject this reality's pressures to discover a world, even the UI, who would have thought, the other logical aspect of this is the rarity, I'm supposed to be rewarded for taking this rare quest and putting the effort to develop these things under an adequate form, it's just to say where perfection resides around 90% there is a 1% that is guaranteed to be there as exception, which is beyond rarity... So you may spot god in details in your life, at any moment, things you'll most likely forget, or discard, or relativize. If you care and have the time you can look around into it, and find if there is something logical, beyond that it's your choice to believe and keep it to yourself or not; belief is belief, it is not proof, what makes you believe in gods is your special. So you must be proud of your mind, you must be proud of your creations, you're not supposed to do anything while having the certitude that a god will take matters in his hands at some point, and the reason is that you're supposed to work from automatic life systems; millions like you are trying all over the universe without help, and they'll be the pride of the UI. As for me, what I provide as imagination and projects is something that a terran can accomplish without gods, and I'm a terran because I have a history of it, while the Christ was born in a big show with mages and things, then he suddenly popped as an adult doing miracles. But me I grew and I have proofs, I have a history and I don't do miracles, yet, I'm still waiting...

Seeing the greatness of creation has always been available to everybody through history, science or no science, I bet some animals see it, and even the lowest human is way beyond the consciousness abilities of most animals, so there are no justifications, you are either flabbergasted by the stars and life or you are not, whatever the funky story you invent to explain it, so all humans through history had that responsibility to endorse or invent a story, and the good and evil aspect, or the spiritual selection process is all a matter of the actions that resulted from your beliefs. And sorry for you if that's the last of your priorities, or if you have chosen a spirituality that made you a traitor to your own reason for existence, or endorsed whatever system in place, or if you didn't stand with your life for what's good.

As for atheism (conflicting synonyms all over the place, like with free thinking, I'm free thinking but I'm no atheist (incredulous)...), if you start at the beginning, then you could say we were atheists when we were monkeys. From that arises beliefs from witnessing the unexplainable. The level of understanding and truth will dictate the level of truth concerning the view of god, and the level of passion defending it since you are in a competitive environment and you have to defend your view against "atheism" in its pure form, but doing so you get a stronger indoctrination which will make you fight anything else. So in old times it is normal to have a vision of gods with insane or bullshit properties; it's like the Santa Claus when you're children. But when you're older your justifications can become completely different, particularly if you see the perfection, if you see that it means nothing without life (Don't confound random processes to get diversity to perfection, but it is a needed facet to get perfection as a final result). For simple people this concept of perfection is laughable since they can't, or don't want to, see profoundly or far or interrelated, but for a complex mind it is extraordinary since you never end making a picture where everything can be interconnected and interrelated, every concept we think we invented fits a perfect place, every discovery, every formula, everything is just perfect. At this point you can't be an atheist, but you can't believe in magic (miracles) or a god that doesn't fit the perfection of things. Still you are forced to believe an intelligence made the perfect machine, not acquiescing this and going atheist is in fact a regression of psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. The danger is only looking through a single point of view, when only one entity is worth credibility, or you think religions got everything spiritual, or you think all there is to life is adapting to the system, then maybe atheism is a logical. Then there are those who revert from religious inadequacy by plunging straight in the contrary, particularly if they made a big spiritual investment. Finally there are those manipulated by the flow to become atheists because they can't believe in the Santa Claus. The common denominator? Loss of will to care. People think they don't have time to think like in old times, or that everything is known and tried, so they reject spirituality because of moronic logic, or worse, it's a gang member thing! Some even think they are more intelligent for believing in nothing! Or they fight it with bad humor, they just revert to nothing which is another win for the ego ideology.

So to me people are better when they believe in something, and the more interrelated and logical this something is, the nearer it should be to the truth and the more it should harmonize with science. I explain that it is important to have a good philosophy or spirituality about life, while leaving science do its things, like invalidate some possibilities, and I'll be happy about the new fact. Spirituality cannot be a final thing, when it will be we'll know everything. The false spiritualties are these that don't leave the door open to change that can invalidate them, they're traps, all religions and sects fit in this category since they don't open good possibilities, they dwell in final truth in their vision, but there's so much interpreting that there's no way to know for sure, and what is this fucking god that only talk to the pope, I want to see his face, you think I'll just believe you because you tell me those are god's words? But I guess they can always embark the largest mass of people who are in need of discovering if it's because they are intelligent that they understood stuff, or better, they understood some obscure message delivered by god himself!

I believe the main reason people throw themselves in all kind of twisted spirituality is because they are a mess inside, they have been stripped of everything that attach a human soul together with pub campaigns and profiteers every corners, all is left is working. When you got a thousand powerful expertise seeking to profit from this or that, people can't keep their good sense, they become relative things who can distort good or evil in any way they want, as long as they stay under the law. Principles becomes wasted pillars, they were supposed to make the human shine and thrive in good and happiness, but they were desecrated by evil. People have been stolen their souls by spiritual gang themselves, they have no good examples, they don't know, can't know, but they got a bunch of competing manipulators and profiteers. The bottom of the pit is when they discard their souls, their live, for an illusion that they are fighting, but in fact, they just sacrifice more of themselves to the lowest profiteer, those who profit from spirituality to make hegemonies, there are so many profiteers on all facets of life that people, in their quest to understand, end up evil.

And how to know good willed people? You can't trust a word up front is my experience in hell, everybody starts a liar, and that's probably how most good relation start; in all kind of lies, and for me this evidently takes an extreme form where people around me have lies as some of the most valuable things of their life, since they'tre nearer survival and devoid of material posessions, and me i'm in the same place as tham and up front it's the genetic competitive emphasis of thios rwalirty that takes over, i become an enemy, the jealousy that i'm 15 years older than them and look younger than them, and explaining that being a monk passing his tome writing doesn't do, they still dion't believe me, so you see, the person that is the frankest here and nobody believe me while i give the benefit of the dopubt, i believe you as long as you don't prove the contrary while for me it's we don't believe you up front, some even laugh at my face, see the irony? Worse, it's unbelievable to the point that i've had two (a third one in development I think...) actually start writing like they found a carrer, without reading a single word of what i wrote, thet have stuff fior a book and the competence all of a sudden, and after a fey page their proofs are made, ant there they go tell the proprietor that they're writers too... Understanding that evil don't care except when you humiliate his ass, then I've been kind of hard with the last one, while it seems everybodt believe each other's lies I'm older and do my things well to up front i'm like ...the other thing is how deep the understanding is, I've known tons of people with good intents that ended-up only as boasting agents, like a lot of philanthropy, and you can tell me you're careful with noise because you don't want to disturb sleeping people, but if you don't understand what noise is you'll just follow a pre-determined recipe like a robot, which will be far superior to you, because its sensors and chips make it so they'll know what noise is, memorize the source and minimize it forever, done with the trouble, while someone too absorbed in his ass will get shit in their ears and you got to continually get angry, repeat, apply fear like a battery charger, develop bad feelings, take risks with violence, and what about the weird psychology and medication? All that because as a living extension he has to care to understand, to think he's not a fucking god that don't care except being full of bullshit. Then we wonder why the best intentioned people end-up embarked in religions! The reign of assholes, they have all the advantages...

I guess it doesn't matter anymore in my personal life so let's just see who will want a potentially better way; good willed people, be them rich, powerful or poor will truly want to give it a try, even if they won't live in it, bad willed (not caring is bad will, slave!) people will simply not care (encouraging the powers in place whatever that is) or prepare to bunkerize or kill en masses. For them nothing else but their way is possible or worth trying. Good will against bad will for a chance to try something else than the ideology that will end earth life with a cross sign; dust to dust.

We're talking a reality without wars, mental twisting, injustice, where there is more true love, where life thrives and where the future is glorious, who want to give it a shot? I don't know, and fighting is kind of useless when there is always some clown worse than the rest that got a top seat to take in the pyramid, live in luxury, and there are pyramids proportional to population number, thousands of these, all indestructible; kick the boss all you want, there is a dreamer in the selection waiting...But you know what? maybe things are ok like that, I mean, nothing can work in hell except the true path of good, which is logic, intellect, argumentation, diplomacy, never be shy on perspectives... And it all happened by inadvertence doing ego ideology related activities.

It's just that t things are so wrong that great people are lost from the reality that is just too big to care, and this is where we are and this is what I'm living, reaping the summum of the injustice, a great mind and body living the absolute inadequacy and incompetence of a system all life long in all the facets of his life, and whatever some may see antichrist matters about me, I'm still just a "romantic" castrated man of life and intelligence that made the most fantastic consciousness crisis.

Now, as the antichrist I wouldn't even dare open the bible, not that my face would immediately catch fire, but I'd go nuts real quick since I write and phrases must make sense, yes, I bet heavy writers are far more critical of what they read, so to me it would take years and I'd probably end-up crazy like the nostradaman exploring all the interrelated possibilities within my schema of thinking, it would take me a hundred lives, and that's supposing my brain would not immediately melt or go suicidal from understanding the task of bullshit decortications at the first few pages, pouah! I'd just have to believe what they say, I guess that's the goal... So I suppose some things are a bit true, I guess a guy got crucified, I guess he was Jesus Christ, I suppose there was apostles at a banquet, things like that, but who knows what the heck did Jesus do within those 20 years where he walked between places to make a mark, maybe he was an assassin! Maybe it's just pub too, just pub.

Exorcists I'm sure they are lies one way or the other though, and I always pictured angels as transparent ghosts; I have trouble imagining the winged thing. Now, is it angels who have a harp? No, I think it's a cupidon, no; he's got a bow, hey! Who's got the harp? It must be the blessed virgin. I like the wrathful gods, angels, daemons, saints and exorcism stuff, in games... But I real don't like the children of god who walks on water only to get planted on a cross and then resuscitate... But yeah, maybe I'd do all kind of stupid things if I could resuscitate you know...I say he cheated with magic tricks all along, popping food, healing blinds, and resuscitating, it completely invalidates his sufferings since if he could do magic then he could laugh at pain, enhancing it magically to get orgasms instead. All manipulative bullshit of a godly ideology where his example can't be followed by human beings, if you find something humanly impossible in my stuff it's because I lied, so watch out...I still think I'm some kind of miracle of bad luck though, that I use as an educative engine because it kind of mean there's something more profound to me than meet the eyes...Or if you prefer, I see it as meaning that I can go farther than most people; I got gifts, but I must be worthy of those gifts.

What if Jesus decided he needed to cumulate a group of "trusty" followers that knew all his secrets, then he got himself in big troubles. He'd have to continually keep them together, and even "deal" his attitude, ideas and strategies, even put all of them under surveillance in case one turns traitor. Me? I guess things would quickly go sideways...I personally still believed I could have trusty friends at 25, I believed I needed friends to talk my mind to, until I abandoned, but that was my initial drive and today I'm happy it failed since this book would have ended-up as a travesty of the truth if I had involved a bunch of people; I'd have had to modify half of what I wrote because it insulted one or the other, some would want to give more importance to some facets and less to something else, and some more would see all kind of opportunities. Furthermore, I'd have to find a way to keep them together, dealing with money hassles, their time, their job, their view, and I'd probably take a lot of decisions about things by vote too. All that would make me develop more secrecy about my developing self, everything would become a deal, and knowing who is against something or troublesome, I'd have to associate him to contrary pressure forces to prevent him of breaking things by spreading not wanted stuff, all kind of problems like that, and I'm not talking about bad humor, drunkenness, spies and traitors...

Maybe the situation was different at the time, supposing people were more social and nice and peaceful and share and get together, but I'm not so sure. Still, if his initial idea was that multiple minds would work better or be an adequate source of knowledge acquisition, and he succeeded at quickly getting them together, then he had to work from that. The positive is that it would accelerate his effect on reality tremendously contrary to me that have not even begun my effect on reality while well past his death point (36), but the integrity is 100%, no dealings except my own judgment of dealing things, in a reality that is far more complex touching far more subjects.

Maybe he believed people could work as a single open bigger mind, like his head would inflate many times, while thinking good intentioned people, or good friends, would work wonderfully together; but maybe he was still too innocent, and how could he gain the knowledge of powerful people if he's to ever to walk fairly with them? So maybe he was a loner without the means to go farther psychologically or philosophically, or he forgot that everything is relative, that time changes people, and that the end justifying the means is very different from one person to the other. But too late, he started the gang innocent of too many things, maybe even by saying such a horror of a mistake that everything would be open to debate... Now, what's stopping someone to see an opportunity to invent miracles and coming to the table saying it would powerfully serve the cause, then a debate with all kind of strange arguments and pressures, then a vote, and there you go, 51% (kind of), Democratic Christ miraculous!

I prefer to believe "Jesus" was good from beginning to the end, not a pub, common, and an external institution desecrated his story because he made a revolt. I say he was a lot bigger than publicized, and his crucifixion plunged the empire in civil war for many years, if not then someone explain what the hell happened to reset time to 0? We don't even know at which date they decided to reset things to 0, you think they did right after his birth? No, it was probably around 100 years after it, so nobody can say he was there, just perfect, then there's nothing to stop an institution encouraged and defended by powerful people to twist and mix bits of a true story to an imaginative story full of special effects, a "true" story of 100 years ago, "easy" when you consider that books were a rare thing at the time. And who do you think got the power to reset the counter of time of the planet like that? God? The one protesting the earth is not flat? It can only be powerful people, and pray tell me why would they do it? To praise someone they supposedly crucified? Or to give strength to their story so everybody would remember to the end of time as you are forced to it, 0 is the beginning, 0 is the center, 0 is associated to the Christ. I see no other valid reason, a spiritual philosopher of good made the start of a good civilization and people full of shit who couldn't be a reflection of it stole his story and killed him. Then they twisted it in their frustrated way as a vengeance on the population that supported him, they were frustrated to be seen as evil and sexually perverse, frustrated to be shown the good path by an inferior, enraged by his capacity to rally people to his cause. So they laughed at his work, twisted it all to make the most evil thing out of him, using it to laugh at the peoples that believed in him, twisting his truths and principles to show that people can believe any crap, that bullshit can have the same effect, that good principles had nothing to do with it, yet, today the reality of things proves that good principles was in fact critical, and one of those is not indoctrinating people. You got how many civilizations failed from the lack of judgment of rich family dynasty morons with unfair means? They may have cost the stars to humanity when they indoctrinated people to the new story that took 100 years to be made perfect, resetting time to fit with historical events, and peoples that didn't believe in the new story of Jesus were killed, and that wouldn't be tourists for sure. Ironically, they may have started the counter of hell on earth, condemning themselves to a surprisingly violent end, since things are supposed to backfire unto themselves.

Do you think people of the time knew of the truth anyway? What percentage knew how to read or write? Who had the will to protest for imposed lies at a time when people got crucified along roads for any stupid reason, like insulting a boss? You accepted anything in silence. So for me, this Christ thing is an invention to subjugate people differently than with forever more costly violence and horror. Armies or police bowing population or watching their every moves are very counterproductive things, then you got the punitive structure to sustain, and you want people working for you, a maximum of them, forever more, and killing people is not very good on this principle. And when they saw that a revolt could ruin their society, or continuing was too costly, they got handled the solution on a platter to flow more money back to themselves through a new kind of institutionalization that would profit from a drive to act in a good manner, develop spiritual aspects, but instead now people accept poverty as a spiritually superior notion; a win win win win invention, and the mandate for the religious experiment succeeded wonderfully.

Don't think that if they threw enough money in it for a long time they wouldn't invent a wonderful story that wouldn't last, woud,wowoud.woud, and being gods always inspire ego people, so the "gods" of the time needed to find themselves a son, a son they made themselves but who came from a poorer virgin lowlife cleaning dishes (to keep them ignorant as well as at home, what if women were getting freer when "Jesus" was around? Maybe the sexist powerful people of the time feared women's emancipation...), so people would associate to the story that happened 100 years ago, when they discovered people could believe any lies, even miracles, or any beliefs, as long as it's credibly made with PMBBD. Did the Christ kill someone? Not a chance, he was a man of the people, poor, an inferior to god too; those don't have the right to kill, what was his song again? "Peace" and "love"? Exactly! That's what the powerful want of their population, protest without violence or go to prison, and poverty is a good thing, and present the other cheek when we slap you! And when you get too excited we can kill you, so you're better stay "peacefully" at home watching a movie (read the bible). Understand the need for entertainment at that epoch too, nobody knew how to write, no music except tam tam and banjo, no movies, how could you survive?

And whatever some didn't believe it, what could you do? Shout that you're being invented a story that don't exist? Then get crucified? Work tremendously hard writing a book at an epoch without printing machines, a very precious thing indeed, to tell the truth? And as soon as you show it to a few people, your lone book gets thrown in the fire and you get killed? And do you think all the people writings about him, all those paintings and statues and churches made about him have been made by people that met the Christ or participated in his activities? Not at all, they are asked for by religious bosses who want satisfaction, and often given and built by well indoctrinated believers. So probably "Jesus" was a tool killed once used (the story made), just a person giving his view of the ways of his time.

He was most likely a spiritual philosopher and strong believer in true love and life and not nice with the elite. What if he declared war to the rich because they were making a hell of the world? Incited to violence and all? He may have invented love altogether, with a nice ceremony, to fight the sexual injustice and horrors caused by unfair people, the only ones who had the time? I'm so impatient to watch the movie, maybe he even almost succeeded at toppling the government and they got terribly scared, massacred everybody in insanity, then the shame, then the denial, then the sect, then the religion, poor guy, slow torture to death would not have been a sufficient vengeance for deathly susceptible disconnected people who lose it en groupe...

It always come back to the same kind of conclusion where some people desecrated all he stood for, making him the contrary of what he was, to eternity preferably, protecting themselves at the same time, making him a "peaceful" thing, his superpowers to transform him a son of a god simply the fruit of the institution that destroyed his true story to make him the biggest liar of the history of humanity from his paranoia about truth, not only making him a believer in their view of god, but the son of their god perversion at it. Next, he may have seen love as a tool for better systematization and they twisted and desecrated his vision of love toon for their systematization, spreading it at all PMBBD sauces. Don't forget that many godly popes and governments of the time were strong on orgies of cumulated "love", everybody know that "some" aligned the prettiest girls for some fucking on stages, reproducing those people at the ton, and baby dumps were just a nuisance...all kind of things like that, and we only know what sipped from the cracks, all those scribbles were probably monks passing their time getting bald fighting lice, I mean, where is the history of the people? Nowhere? The bible? So I say they totally manipulated history to the point of rewriting it all, even restarting time! Then the grand plan took form, a sect where no one leaves alive, they massacred people at the ton too, probably a lot to fit the story they made for their kind to become invincible eternal. The same for love, make it a contract or waste it to describe a general state of euphoria, twisted in the egg right at the start because those who controlled the means, who were admired and supposed to be examples, were not capable of being examples of it, or more likely, they already had the most senseless forms. That applies to the population versus their "gods" and "goddess" too, so love may have been under a pressure to mean anything right away, and they went to the extent of putting such stupidities as "love your enemy" in his mouth; who is the enemy? Who was the enemy at the time? That's another ugly perversion and it meant what it meant, nothing else, it's just that the institution twisted everything to satisfy and embark everybody. The truth is that if you seek good, then that enemy can only be evil, the truth is that the institution not only wants you to like or tolerate evil, but it wants you to "love" it. Anyway, who think he actually said that? Only the Catholic institution, and you think he actually said "love"? No he didn't, so why are they lying? He may, supposing all what they say he said is truth, have said something in another language, and probably it meant understanding like "understand or comprehend your enemy" for the goal of fighting him better, an enemy is an enemy, not a friend, why would he twist that? No need for the "enemy" word to exist and divide people, let's just have fuck all free for all love! He didn't, Catholicism twisted the meaning at the unbelievable scale of making of an enemy, not only a friend, but a love thing, not surprising since they used love as a manipulation verb right too. As for understanding and comprehension, they have been twisted in conflicting meaning too, understanding and comprehending something or someone have nothing to do with empathy or affection which have nothing to do with love, these are 3 independent of meaning things, nothing else, too bad for the synonym dictionary, understanding and comprehending are processes of gaining knowledge or consciousness, that's it that's all.

That's my opinion, and maybe, if we had encouraged him and helped his ideals (the truth of him), today we'd be a totally different civilization, all our qualities would be the base of it, we'd have a glorious future, whatever a "few" hundred rich people of the time could have died from the change of mentality. So you see, "Jesus", the true person, may be the person I could admire the most in human history, but the Christ no.

Now, I know believers will go nuts to say I understand nothing because I didn't develop my mind like them who understand everything because they have an expert or they have the bible to prove and explain everything, but I won't tell them to go to hell, they're already deep in the fire, probably spreading it too...doing a good job at that, being active little members in it...The next step is their vision of hell for evil people, hell's cauldron, a courtesy of the UI, because they defend this reality and force others like me to endure the hell of it. I understand they want everybody in their view of a "paradise", but sorry if I see it differently... Remember that PMBBD develops the earth as a deceptive place from conflicts in our minds while logic develops it as a paradise from harmony in our minds; if we are in a developing hell today, it is because we're living in a world full of PMBBD where what's nearest the truth have become non-credible, where logic is competed by irony. As for hell's cauldron, I prefer to see these extremes as UI extensions, it's emotional side, something that attract inquiries, that grows its capacities. So be careful of what you wish for, don't go too far and insult some intelligence, no intelligence like to be ridiculed or be taken for a fool. If the institution that made a hell of the earth to defend evil is stupid enough to have invented a lake of fire to burn evil in afterdeath, then guess where evil will go if they made a paradise for evil out of the earth? Fucking irony! Can't actually be more stupider than that... That's where evil will go on building their beloved ego competition pyramids, as long as they lived, just different...

They say I'm the antichrist, my ex girlfriend, that I respect greatly for having awakened me, but even if I come to fit your worst nightmare let it be known that I never said I'm an enemy of "Jesus". And even if by "miracle" people started to take me seriously, I won't destroy the world don't worry, I just discovered I'm entitled to hate this reality, I don't trust it and it doesn't make sense, enough so that I make plans of world domination, I say why and I bring a possible solution, if women like me for that no problem too... Nowhere did I say I'm bringing about the end to the world, who said that? I say why I believe it will happens if things stay as they are, and the chances it will happen are greater if I don't publish than if I dump my work; that's my belief.

And don't think I'm making a paranoia while the ego-god ideal is armed to the teeth and ready to kill everybody and destroy everything in its extremism. Furthermore, writing a book like mine where my life has been a hell, you understand that I must always defend in advance, what do you think? I'll let my enemies destroy my credibility or what I stand for? I'll wait hits and insults while saying nothing? Then "he who do not answer consent"? Ah, I should present the other cheek... You think the "Jesus" guy actually did nothing to defend his views? As soon as you explain a different view you automatically defend something different, you understand that? And you better prevent in case you get killed before having the time to do it. Next, I will use any contraption of my enemy against him, I have the right to make his cheats my new rule if he is permitted to wins from them (fight fire with fire), competition oblige, if I don't do it it's just pride, or a challenge, and it's a slippery slope; you need a lot of wisdom and will not to get corrupted using evil tools...

For now, with 2012 incoming, there seems big bunch of religious people on their knees thinking of pardon from their "loved" god and awaiting Armageddon, and I may fit that scenario by inadvertence, but I'm still nothing else than a person, stop begging your god in insignificance or act to stop all that crap once and for all, fight for a better world instead of doing the contrary you always did if you want some Armageddon stuff. That's just insane, I almost fooled my thinking there, I mean, I think I'd be laughing until my death, but who talked about the secrets of things that are impenetrable?

Today, people have a lot of new tools, or boosted old ones, yoga, sex pressures, movies, sports, alcohol everywhere, evolved PMBBD, some yoga, news, traveling to open horizons, "illegal" drugs to open the mind, psychological PMBBD self-esteem them justifications, selfies, that's enough to dump religions, there's something to spare people the job of doing deep introspection and philosophical and spiritual thinking, I tell you, it gets to you... That's what people care about, the important stuff I'm missing, and that's enough to drop religions, but they're still important, particularly in "retarded" countries.

And if Catholics are so sure an antichrist will come to end their misery, then their existence is invalid, that's what it means, no sane and good institution would make its followers believe in such a thing. Or maybe it just got exaggerated, like the institution knew someday they wouldn't have the money and follower base to continue, so the antichrist is just a kind of costume that got scary over time because it signifies the end of the institution, while in fact when the Vatican will be ready, it will give the keys to some guy and he will proceed to lock down the place as the antichrist, with a special evangelistic golden robe, shutting down Christianity, and that's it, everybody disband calmly. Probably not, I wouldn't dare close down a religion just like that, die hard Catholics are too well represented...

If I'm to listen to the rumors concerning me, then I'd prefer to debark the Christ from the cross for a start! We'll have to readjust spirituality that was twisted to be associated to religions, death and torture; a crucifix should never have existed in our history, it existed because we are run by people who are ready to destroy everything to have life serve them in luxury like we created it. A cross is a symbol of life which means protection, a human that stand on earth forever and keep an eye on life; a cross is a big white thing that you light-up and plant on a mountain in nature, or in a cathedral, a beautiful place that some people will want to go to and kneel before the scenery. You can even make fireworks, but it has no association to gods, death, heaven, stars, and surely not to death torture and sacrifice or religions and sects; and stop burying your cadavers under one, that's another wrong association (I could say desecration to dramatize...); you don't die under a cross, you die for life, for evolution, to continue your process of development under another form, that's the good view of death, and life is around a cross, not dead on or under it. Your body is requested by life now, mummies and protected cadavers are those of ex beings that didn't care for life enough to understand its value, to understand that the minimum of respect to have after passing your life at the top of the chain eating every life-forms around like a pig for your energy, the minimum is to have a thought for it, to show you care for it, so use your body to thank life, be as useful to life as possible, use your useless cadaver to give back some of what you took, life energy, that's the ideal. Now, the ways that can be done are very many, organs donation, science donation, fertilizer, etc.

Bloody and torture type will be quite limited in the life reality, mainly the new Catholic institution that will care for its stuff, and maybe some museums. Processions will be done. I remember getting at the ostia, it was like the most sacred procession, silent and kind of secret, walking in the cathedral of god, "le corp du christ" "Emmène" I always tried to say just a little bit, sure that the corpse in question would taste quite different (the strange thing is that the thought of munching on Jesus flesh never stroked me as worth mentioning when doing confession and not telling the slow motion guy all my sins (definitively not! I didn't even believe I was making sins). The blood drinking less so (I guess Jesus had a deep weird moment there...), I don't remember passing my time imagining Dracula adventures, but that may be because it always felt too obvious it was some kind of weird and sick association made with the goal of making me imagine drinking blood, and that's coming from someone who has no problem with blood imagination, but I never liked vampires. As I think of it, maybe that's where the vampire stuff come from! Jesus was in fact a vampire! No, a cannibal! Jesus the cannibal! Maybe not, but it looks like it to some young minds...

To give back some shine to life we'll have to recuperate or readjust a lot of what was twisted by this religion or that, like prayers. All these worshipping places, ceremonies, massing and symbols are good for the life spirituality, in fact, they are exploited facets of it directly or indirectly.

Remove the twisted stuff and the Christ from the cross and churches are nice places, some are marvels, and no problem with most associations like good blessed water in the name of family or life; just remove the Christ everywhere and eating his body and drinking his blood. And don't worry; if a meteor strikes the Vatican it won't be because you did something wrong stopping these associations; the meteor will come from long ago... I still don't know, what is associated to a religion is a bit condemned to it, so the association will be there and felt for a long time; we may be better making our own cathedrals and worshipping places.

You understand that a lot of work must be done and a lot of it will be to put our mind back straight, and someday we'll understand the extent of the evil that was done. Maybe Jesus and his disciples invented churches to worship something totally different than what religions made of these places, I designed a city after all, it's waiting to be stolen and transformed to serve the ego-god (s) ideal... You think Jesus would have made churches to educate people with himself planted on a cross? And his procession of misery, and a big ego powertrip of his own life? And eating his body and drinking his blood? I'm sure not! He would have asked wtf is your problem...

As for those awaiting a messiah savior instead of an Antichrist destroyer, then tell me what would you do if your messiah came to judge you to get you out of your misery? How would you know he's the messiah? He'd have to "love" you? To be on your side? To believe in the religion of your place? To make batches of miracles to pass your test? And what would he do? The "super" "star"? Meet gang after gang after gang of your kind of saints? Being touched by religious people like groupies wanting to get fucked by their god singer? Or "peacefully" point at things you judge as evil and he would transform these as a wow thing? And if he judges you as better dead then it is not the messiah that must pop a new earth to satisfy your criteria because you're worth a paradise to escape to and make a hell out of it all over again in your great certitude? Assemble everybody to say god is great and pardon your sins because you're innocent before popping off good bye? What would you do? Flash bang him continually with your hordes of paparazzi? Follow him with copters day and night for his own "super" "star" television channel? Kill him to prove he's a god? Continually put harassing pressure on him? Continually judge all his little actions to thicken your bible?

Religious people would be the first of his problem if he existed, and what if he ask you what's your fucking problem? You'd say he's an evil Antichrist? The same if he refuses get a job in your great reality? No way you'd let an inferior tell you how to act (while I've had a whole life of the worst assholes disrespecting me...), only the Christ or god and the only argument is magic! Imagine the troubles we are in... You'd compete him and hate him and disrespect him surely not help him or not listen to him because he's a human like you, the only thing that can do something, and everybody want to fucking act like the chief of bullshit, all full of shit, from too much slurping at evil asses, while he doesn't even want to care about these things so insignificant your god power trip is to him! Fuck that crap! You think there is someone that will want to deal with this? Who will tell the other what to do? Who will judge the other? Who will decide who is evil? Who will force the other to his ideal? And what will you gain? The same because that's what your attitude and beliefs lead to.

I could like it to be some kind of warrior antichrist that resuscitate good people while popping-up guns, ammo, and ration packs, or a war machine with plasma beam eyes, a rail gun as one hand and particle accelerator for the other, farthing atomics and casting bomb rains too, things like that, miracles to impress the audience, but no chance in hell, because such personages don't seem to visit humanity very often while it is full of proven miraculous saints... We're too good, or it is preferable to cure the blind and pop food for a long sermon to help the best system, "peace", "love"! Santa Claus seems more appropriate; you got me out of hibernation, you melted my realm, and to add insult to injury, you come in here with your big profiting ass taking my resources? But thank, I was bored out of my mind anyway, so I'm on land now, and I got bigger boots than yours, they give damn bigger kicks too, and I'm already red. Now that I have no place and no means, I must find a place on lands, and while I fly over your head, you must take a decision, then you fight for it. And I'm happy about it, I'm tired of ice, whiteness and loneliness and doing the good grandpa that judge children and distribute gifts; I judge at my responsibility level now, I judge big time, and I distribute appropriate gifts; if you are able to show yourself worthy of them. For now, I'm in your Canada place, a good place to start working, it is hotter, beautiful potential, people still got loads of potential too, and possibilities have expanded tremendously; a few thousand years is enough, whatever the reality, what's more, I may even find love here! So this book I'm writing is just to somewhat get back up to date in my things, trying to take the means too, and the gift will be the life reality if you behave well enough, a place where things work differently.

As for the pope that uses my costume, I'll be nice for now, just know that while your institution is a earth life shame, me I can exist on many planets, and the not nice me explodes these kind of traitor to life. It's a shame I really think they're an innocent borked tool with a forgotten master...If an institution like that had to exist, it was to pronounce the word of good, not god, but it did exactly the contrary; lucky you that applies to the whole humanity... And my tolerance is a supreme extreme effort from my part, because I shouldn't have written a word, as a young man I should have jumped on your throat as soon as I had to kneel, so one word, one counsel, and I'll go turkey hunting with my big black ho,ho,bo boots, while swearing all along, since it is your only heritage around my place, on many planets...

For now my judgment tells me, through the Democracy-Capitalism business line, that profiting has eliminated this kind of potential off this planet, all the while leading humanity to an invincible and irreversible death momentum. In reality I have no place in my fears, I'm inexistent, a ghost roaming a dirty apartment, whole years at a time without talking, and yes it is self-imposed, poor me, like living on ice was too, what did you think? It was a deal, I prove my things while you prove yours. At least, no psy on earth can give me lessons on how it is to live alone, and that concerns everybody; stuff your counsels and bullshit about bizarre people living alone, I can tell anybody they don't know what they're talking about because they didn't do it, or just put an emphasis on one facet, imposed, whatever the way it is done, is not the same than self-imposed. But don't worry about me, I'm not finished with my life, life got to stay alive for one more slap on the other cheek, and I got to sacrifice myself...

And for those who think that you have to be hard with someone to make him good, then, just for the sake of it, yes, there, you have it! What are you complaining about? I'm good, and I kick your ass! You think you're good too? Prove it like I do, like a thinking person that is fair would do! How can you give me a lesson, how can anybody in this world tell me what to do after I spent so much time thinking and understanding, in a logical and yes, spiritual, and yes, feeling manner? Ah, ignorance and the usual tools of manipulation will work on the selection, the difference is that I don't cheat, and the ramifications of that may be far more exhaustive than what even the most imaginative person can think about. And don't think I should have a good opinion of this reality like you, and if you think my opinions should give you the right to destroy my personal life by whatever manipulative mean, just know you'll have to reach philosophical and spiritual independence too, that's a lot of profound believing to do, and a lot of de-bullshitting and introspection to do too. Get to work, and don't cheat!

In fact, I'll add something for god crackpots sadists who need pain and sacrifice; if you ask me to die right now for my project, I'd give my life right away! Adding that the question is stupid. But you're the liar, so yes I'll surrender to you, be a martyr if that's what you want, but I'll take a stroll in another reality before surrendering a single hair to your lies, it's just to say that if I have to do worse than your Christ to get people involved, no problem. And I'm overly sensitive person, I'm made out of nerve and pain busts my head, but I'll put my hand on the table by myself and then yes, if my heart doesn't explode, I'll bring it back, not because I like to present the other cheek, since that's what "gods" like of "their" population, but to prove with finality that any human, even the most sensitive, can live a life of pains, whatever the form, and bring it to the death in torture in the name of life. But you got everything to prove before dreaming too much, and I'd challenge you to live my fucking life for a start at humility! And you're thousands of years late, and working in the wrong direction to say the very least. Religious and rich gangs have an unbelievable debt of life to reimburse, do your part to help another reality, and I don't mean your followers lost in your PMBBD, I mean all those superior delicate hands who pass their time talking. And tolerate a little of my emotivism, all what I've written is just a fraction, if your reality is so good, if everything works so well, if people are so happy, if the future is so bright, then I wouldn't have written a word, and I surely wouldn't have invented a different reality! I hate your fucking hell! And it is made of human attitudes! And what I reaped as a life until now for what I do is an insult both to life and intelligence.

Gods too I should add, since there's always a spiritual side to things with me, I don't talk about gods and life entities to discard after death possibilities, know what I mean? I know everybody lives difficulties while living, but there's a difference between caring and not, or living normal difficulties and living a lifelong struggle, or striving to act as a gentleman and striving to act like an asshole, it's all a matter of intentions. I didn't enjoy much my time in this reality, to say the least, and my creation is my pride, so if all I'm left with to fight those who will want to desecrate my name or my work is after death revenge, so be it, but don't worry, there won't be blood and violence, I prefer living museums... Maybe I'm phantasmagorating a bit too much, it's just that my entourage made my life and my work practically impossible lately, but they may as well just be stupid tools, not worth the bad feelings, even if it doesn't prevent my frustration. I'm trying to be less of a revenge guy as I grow older too, and not only because it's worthless for people who have an understanding blockage about anything that can affect the idea they have of themselves, they'd have to go back to the belly of their mom and stay there and not start drinking beer, so I can make an education work; that's my conclusion for these love failures... I don't like to imagine I'm wasting time, energy and resources on these matters too, even in after death, I think I've has enough, but my love may think otherwise while I take my vacation, she tends to be more pissed-off than me about my troubles, and god knows love revenge is a very strong feeling, particularly when people continually add to the pile of bad feelings...

Strange that writing can be so far away from one's life, we don't know what people are living these days, because everybody got its head up its ass, and people act like they know how things work while they continually prove they have no idea, and the grave part is that not being wrong has become like the ultimate goal, and superficial arguments are seen as more valid than profound thinking. Every person I meet lie to me all over the place up front, first meeting, and I give them all a triple benefit of the doubt, and me I do everything to be frank, I start telling the truth, and nobody ever believe me, they all come to totally disrespect me, and even if I stuff 20 years of work in their mouth they'll act like trolls instead, they'll laugh and assume automatically that it's all crap. Sometimes I would want so much to give them a ultimate humiliation lesson, but I know it's worthless, evil, liars, cheaters in advance, bad loser, bad winner, mental blockages, people who start on the path of condescendence right from the start are lost in advance. I'll still want them forced to understand before having access to oblivion though, I want them to learn humility and regrets. They're worth far worse but that sounds like the minimum, I'm just a good person that pardon people who manage to understand stuff, and, and prove it, yeah, you do that and you fucking respect writers, so when your genetic will detect the sound of typing, it will lose control of your sphincter as you run away, because you know it's a person doing stuff you can't understand and that can kick your ass to pop your head back up, inside out, so you can have another perspective on things than superficial stuff... Me too I can joke around, eh? You like to laugh at 20 years of work in misery enduring all the worst you can offer? It's not your worst, yeah, I know you'd be too happy to show it, just because, even after reading all my work, you'd probably still need a lesson of humility distributed by your god...

I got to say I make enemies easily in this reality, I'm very opinioned, I'm kind of a contrarian, even if to me I walk the middle line (it's the irony of hell that makes me a contrarian), I'm not strong on authority, and I fight for my rights. That is so even if I'm a very tranquil person, very far from a show off, but I'll protest noisily if you force me or manipulate me, even if the only tool I have is writing.

I may be doing paranoia, which I should consider an understandable attitude from where I stand today, but I really believe someone is using stupid people from my lodging institution and my neighborhood as tools to piss me off (I'm currently writing the story in French). Evil psychological hypocrite influences pushed me to a corner and my reaction of fighting back resulted in my life and my writing becoming extremely difficult. I don't believe they don't know I'm writing, I always say it everywhere in case there's a bonus or something, to say it's actual work, so whatever it's just a question of stupidity or condescendence, they show they are against what I stand for, life, but they want to see how I'll manage I guess, so they want to force me to live 20 years as "institutionalised" in one of their apartment while under the constant harassment of their teams of weirdoes of all kind, controlling castrating women freaks, social workers with expertise in psychiatry, fake police, WTF is all this shit? And you think I'll just say nothing? Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck do you think you are? They turn around like flies, big black flies of all kind, but black is the common denominator...

It's just stuff I'm noticing, things involving big people because some almost miraculous coincidences and unbelievable situations could only involve lots of means, and I means lots, for someone that see manipulation as the top brick of this reality, I always thread a very fine line about the possibilities of my influences, so people get the wrong idea about me, it's like psychological evasiveness, but I start the whole thing in frankness and candor, so evil is fooled into thinking he can act condescending with me, laugh at me, or judge me as crazy; I do tuning test stuff fool! There are a few reasons, my complexity for a big one, and I'm in the dark and I always feel a knife or a shackle not too far, so I do the wrong thing, kind of, from unconscious feelings. So my work is under a kind of disassociation phenomenon, and my answer is prevention, and it will be so until I'm ready to die. In a sense, I'm as well be a shame to many people because I don't want them to influence my developing opinions with their money; I don't want their old view, I want my fresh young view.

I got rid of the men in black, at 75%, I think I can go to around 95% rid of them before I publish, but there's always some relation that just pop wherever I go... Oh, and don't think it's a good idea to enrage an institution that got all affordable lodging under its umbrella in a city, leave that to the tough guys, even if they made the troubles, liars, cheaters, bad losers, bad winners, obliteration is the only option, and it's really all about this, that's the reason why we're in hell, because some categories of people act like they're gods or can transform evil deeds to good ones with sufficient means, like teams of lawyers to make of good and evil a manipulation competition, as it should be in hell, like teams of scribbles to falsify history, or a good beating, those are the ultimate enemies. So I gave them the honor finger and now I'll never be able to get an apartment ever again because they'll send their travesty of a file about me to anybody wanting to know if I'm a good renter, which I've been for all my life before entering into a battle with those hypocrite making a fixation on me! I am a monk so much I'm tranquil, I even walk on the tip of my feet continually and I'm a writer that needs tranquility, so what's wrong here? My initial contract was 5 years, I asked to move every years after that; after10 years there are men in black everywhere, and they tell me bluntly that I'll live 10 more years there, because they changed the law, while under their constant surveillance because they forced me to an entourage of miscreants who seems bent on destroying my life and my reputation. I have been independent all my life and I never needed a fucking social worker or psy! I'm proud of my exceptional health and mind! I considered this an institutionalization so I preferred the streets than losing my self-respect or sanity, probably what they wanted, but as a living I must minimally try to make it so they don't get away with it, and I'll want anybody that was involved in this humiliated as long as there is a single microscopic hint of twisted feeling, which will take an interminable time, but we're in afterdeath, and a good vid should light back those neurons you decided to dissociate from. So get the shit out of your eyes so you can look where the fuck it went wrong and get to work on the source! Evidently, not a single of the many systems meant to help people could do something for me because I have no proofs, I don't have the means for a private inspector and I can't do the inspector job that the police refused to do without falling in the paranoia trap.

At least now they don't have their hands totally in my life. I control nobody's life, I have the right to control at least my own, so fuck you and your moronic psychiatric opinion meant to put my great intelligence on par with your deficient one. The same for manipulating my life to attack my credibility, spying on me and stealing my stuff, then say I'm paranoid and doing a persecution delirium because I can't get proofs, then leave me with the troubles. All of you hypocrite, jealous and sick people who made a power trip or fixation on me, who removed my most basic liberties while trying to build files to prove I'm insane or dangerous, you are indebted to me, and while I'll ignore you in the name of better pleasure, I won't forget you for sure. For now I'll just see things philosophically, so let's just say that it is logical for cheaters to thrive in hell, and I'm just lucky to live in the best country of the world.

I say that putting me in a Neanderthal situation while I shouldn't live in forests is a crime and a cheat, so in reality I want those people incarcerated for 20 years minimum; that should be lesson enough to recharge the fear battery of the type for a few years... How am I to judge what happens in the world if I can't have the internet? Or if I can't live freely in a city? Or talk love if I can't have a girlfriend? Or have a sane mind if I can't have entertainment? Some of these things have been removed from my life as soon as I started publishing my work, other when I decided I wanted to move. But I have been the most tranquil person, a ghost is more like it, and I have the right to live in a normal situation for a modern person to form an opinion of reality in the best country of the world Canada, they say... The only reason that I will succeed is an old momentum I had cumulated and force of will, but thanks, I hate this reality still more...

And I know I lost a few of these things by myself, but that's the way it should be; if I feel manipulated, why shouldn't I test my liberties in my fights to stop the feeling? The same if I'm spied upon, the same if I'm being stolen stuff...As an intelligent young man, how would you feel if someone called you to tell you you'll have to live 10 more years in a place that you don't like? Where you wouldn't dare make a girlfriend? Where everybody acts weird? And when you start to protest things go completely insane? So yes it is my fault for not tolerating and accepting the forced or manipulated situations this reality puts me under if they interfere with logic or good or my rights, and I'm proud of that, and if I'm left with nothing I'll see it as another proof that things don't work, because I don't ask that much, only the basics for a healthy existence, and what's necessary to form an adequate opinion of the world. If I don't feel I'm in control of my own life, that I don't have my independence, then things will degrade as I fight until I'm left with nothing, and if the guy can't make a fire, then death. And if the situation that lead to the incapacitation of my mind or judgment capacity is caused by other people, then someone needs a lesson, that's my opinion.

You could see it as selling your soul to the devil too, I didn't, are you jealous? As soon as I gained consciousness of how things worked I decided I would try to minimize my involvement as much as possible while trying to explore some aspects of where I can go, find what is appropriate to me, instead of going violent or taking brains destroyers drugs. And too bad if I just stay a fraction of myself, probably shaking in front of a psy, or doing 500 laps of some prayer. This reality will use anything as leverage to embark people in whatever institution defending it, be it religious, governmental, or familial, it's like nobody has the right to be independent, even if you take the minimum to survive, either you embark or you have no fundamental right, you must go back gorilla without a way to form your opinion of reality, in a cage preferably since gorillas got a tendency to use violence, which is illegal... and fighting I lost the only thing that was really dear to me this way, my love story, then my comfort, the phone, all it "gave" me, even lodging and the little material gains I cumulated, which includes a computer to do my job. It's worse actually, they're bringing me to court (evil cheater bad winners...) trying to make me a criminal at it for something totally legitimate I wrote, trying to charge me thousands of dollars for repairing an apartment they themselves said (with proofs) that I left in perfect condition, and I'll have to pay whatever the proofs of their lies! They're trying to prove I'm violent while the last time I hit someone I was around 10, but they used a 25 years old story where I pushed someone out of my way to prove it, because she wat a crazy bitch far older than me that lied and won (I pushed her out of my way to get at my things, I didn't hit her.) That and I smoked pot (still do). That's how you can end up a criminal for life in hell, just doing some innocent mistake when barely out of adolescence...

If incarcerating me for some fantastically aggravated shit that I didn't do can't work, then we'll prove we were right to want your institutionalization; we'll try to lock you up in a mental institution. So they tried to prove I'm crazy by confounding getting angry into it, I got angry at someone, it's a proof I have mental issues, let's call mommy, while I'm almost 50, with the help of my social worker with his experience in psychiatry, and discover that she doesn't like me, welcome to the party, and she contributed wonderfully. They both got together with the police to prove I'm suffering from mental maladies in their experience on the subject (she told me many times she'd call the crazy house to intern me if I didn't behave, I suppose to make me believe she was justified to lock me up in the basement (I eventually got proofs that she entered my room to plant traps that would make me look bad to the rest of the family, I got that just before her last show with this asshole social shithead, and that's where I understood that I'm probably far more into the truth into the why I was cannibalizing the top of my fingers as a kid and living those white light experiences and heart exploding dreams and falling to oblivion and trying to kill myself. I never did something wrong for a kid, that's what I did! And I even knew it as a kid goddamit, is this world blind? What kind of kid is sufficiently insane to call the hospice himself as a provocation against his mother? You should have seen her face! And it worked to some extent, one thing's for sure I never heard her mention the hospice again, until now, an opportunity maybe? And the worst is that I naturally had this family preserving instinct or something, all the way to adolescence, then on and off a few times before finally off even if I still care for them and hope they're well, and as the antichrist I won't send them to hell, it's just that as it is I can't take these kinds of risks where some stupid parole could aggravate a benign thing already inflated beyond comprehension, with me ending up in prison because I wrote a single word that that their psy or their lawyer firm removed from its context, and it was big, until at the end when the judge pointed everybody to the fact that it was actual sarcasm, not a crime (I actually wrote the next phrase starting by, "it's true it's funny" they didn't like my humor and they went completely overboard hysteric, full psychological issues with it, their psy and social workers among them...Now, I won worse than nothing because it was all defensive, and now my situation worsened to incredible levels, levels of hell, and the only reason I haven't killed myself yet in the resulting insanity is because I made it a challenge in the name of life to get it educated fighting it, and I hope someday all those people will be humiliated appropriately. So it ended all there, clean, but I'm still extremely angry, but I still don't want to end up in prison for it, or things that can only be settled by watching an after death video...

I'm ready to die if I must, to give the honor finger to this reality I always hated; nobody alters my brains without immediately reaping a corpse (that makes me think of something). And fuck you, what is your problem? How can you explain yourselves without looking like pure idiots? What is it? And what are religious people doing messing with lodging institutions? Are you're sufficiently low in your religion to take me for the king of the poor and try to create the situation to make it true? I work from principles that make sense! And one of those is adequacy; I must live in a situation adequate for me or to produce my work, and I must have an adequate reward for what I provide which includes rarity. Understood? The same principle applies to love too; I must be with a person adequate for me (not like me) or it won't work.

Now that I'm in the streets without much belongings I'm finding that dexterity is not a loner skill, and now that I can't do electronics, cook and patent things, I'm left with a bad feeling about my useless hands, and this is entirely mental, like my creativity was dependent a lot from using my hands or is it that they had found peace at these activities, being a sense of life. So not only my fight to free myself from them while telling them why made me lose my basic liberties, the little of my material gain, the means to do my work adequately, not only they tried to make of me a criminal and an insane person, but they are completely messing-up my skill set too.

Yet, that is probably only one factor among many, because if I'm to recapitulate the events of my life that happened for the biggest update of my work, then I can identify quite a few factors that could have created this feeling of doom, and maybe I'm just presently living the culmination of a stressful situation. I have been living in an inadequate situation for a long time, and before beginning this revision I had hoped to move in a less frustrating and stressful environment, to recreate the situation where I successfully wrote a thousand pages of imagination in the first place. So I knew the needs of my brains, always, and I'm quite sure I crossed the line of stress one can possibly tolerate healthily long ago, and I passed a lot of time managing it in a way that wouldn't twist my psyche to become a pawn of this reality and its psy science, under no circumstances, whatever the stress or anguish. Still, as I started a bit ahead of my deadline, I found-out that my imagination and inspiration was great, proportional to the emotional intelligence I was expressing, the more varied emotions the better my work, but the more I fought for my rights the more stress and the more my imagination got limited by my will for retribution. Not only that, but it seems my mind is changing with each worsening of my situation because I lose the capacity to practice my abilities, like my dexterity, or my talking since I was used to criticizing stuff around me but now I can't, I must live I'm in total silence because there are too many people around, and some are just waiting to catch me saying something stupid to send me back to the streets, as someone that like to keep his exuberance at home or with my girlfriend, which I think is normal civil behavior. So not much escapes my mouth no more, and along maximum stress and the pressure to perform and all these realm where I lost myself in imagination as I went to sleep that got replaced by this desire to see the ruin of those who put me in this situation, and losing 3 months of work, then I suppose they successfully incapacitated some unique aspects of my mind and I can now be a normal citizen...

In fact, my mind seems to have geared itself for revenge more than anything nice and beautiful; "I've had enough and I want retribution now!" really? Now? The thing persists on coming back to, revenge is such a powerful feeling, and it's so tempting when you've had a few bouts of frustration raised to rage, where you want some people to pay in pain. I've always managed to rationalize it, but it's like something snapped now, or I'm out of arguments to shut-up and tolerate, at 45 I should have started fighting physical style long ago, even doing war if this reality is so rotten that nothing and nobody is able to satisfy my need for justice with all my work and all what I've been through! It's not that I shouldn't tolerate this anymore, it's that I should be doing war as a fucking responsibility! Instead I continue to keep it to myself or express it worthlessly, I try to pardon or tolerate, as I should if the level was sane, as I do in a normal environment with people trying to do the same, and I got other things to think about, but I know it's entirely justified, that I'm just contorting the truth of fairness far beyond breaking point, to fit a broken reality. Fairness, justice, one of the things that drove my life the most, or is it retribution? Or are they related? Yeah, can you find many people as driven by fairness as me? Then the result should be a stronger will for retribution too, logically, unless there's a psy around to tell me I have a problem in the head because I'm not having infinite acceptation and tolerance behavior...Fucking up my life as I work my brains out to make something good to the point of removing from me the means to do my work adequately? My mind decided something beyond my power to fight back, and bloodman was born in a dream. I think my arguments work only to control my ego reactions, it's like buying time to survive in hell, since you can see my whole work as a piece of retribution, a reaction to a reality that continually pisses me off, and the thing that drives it is life through my experience. So while I can control my will for retribution if it is only related to myself, it doesn't work in the way I have become transcended by life as my soul flourished through my work. I didn't invent a reality where people are free of manipulators and profiteers and where fairness is systemized for nothing, because the value of messing-up the life of a single person, even a poor one, can be disastrous. Who knows how many great people never found their ways from the problems of this reality, maybe we'd be already living on another planet. Still everything works together, if indispensable people want an expendable population that can die anytime, if they think they are gods and know everything about life to the point of making a pressure selection to their ideal for the future of humanity in its relations with life in the universe, then yeah, overpopulation can compensate bad development philosophy to some limited extent, in short sighted ego theory...I prefer less people of greater quality, a guaranteed future, and nice relations with life, any life. So the repercussions of the hostile action of self-inflated ignorant people on my life have far more weight, tremendously more, particularly if those people know what I stand for. And so the more difficulties they give me, and that applies to the reality, the more revolted I become, whatever or not I can remove myself from the equation. This attitude is worse than not caring, it is in fact competitive hate against life, and while I've found arguments to comprehend a lot of bad quirks people developed, depending on the reality, but laughing at life, ridiculing those who try to value it, I tell you, pardon is troublesome as a concept to deal with such people... It is kind of the worst use one can make of his intelligence, and philanthropy, or caring for your family to the standard of reality changes nothing to that, it only adds hypocrisy and fakeness to the formulae. From my experience at trying to repress my will for retribution, I understood that the black beast reflected a will for it, cumulated, as I always felt my destiny which was to keep the beast calm with my thinking, but the thing is running wild and jumping on everything, I got to feed it continually, until we find a peaceful place, because we work together now, we understand we both are right and a part of a whole, it's tempting to just kick the ugly stuff, but we're in hell and things are very deceptive and wrong, so now the beast awaits calmly the surprises, it can still be savage though, and the nice thing is that it remembers all these place we passed and didn't explore... The morale is that the beast likes it to explore and understand, good logical arguments and respect calm it greatly, and it's all a wheel of evolution to touch the most fundamental destiny. Destiny bullshit here we go? I tell you I always felt it, and the more troubles you give me the bigger I grew the beast, and I did what I had to do to with it, to the perfection, I used my brains to understand beyond any standard, and you all failed, every system, every mentality, every spirituality, but I reserve my worst opinions to those people who bear names meaning they are there to help a category of people (parents, social workers, doctors, police, functionaries, governments, etc) while they knowingly work to worsen their situation.

So for those who cheated me, let's hope they only face my phantasm of love after their death, the exception are gods themselves. Then there's the UI which could materialize and travel my emotions, and there are no systems to hide from this one jumping around to all the related sources of my frustrations. UI the only entity that is guaranteed a competent judge of my mind or my work, whatever the origin of my life form. And fear, because if nobody cares or respect me for my work, and if I'm living such difficulties just writing and getting the tools to form an opinion, it is because this reality is a failure at its most basic level, or we're in hell? Who is scared of a poor guy using writing to express himself in a modern, urban, civilized and evolved and good society time? With rose gadgets? And selfies condoms! You're scared of a book? Writings? The stuff you do continually so beyond you are? Being scared of a poor bum writing invalidates the universe, I'm serious about that, it's super important, it's poor bum! Being a poor bum has advantages, ask Jesus... So the sustainability (power) of this curse will be reflected by the life advancement value of my work, which is as much in my mind as it is in my writings. So don't think you were doing good fooling around with my life like condescending morons, or trying to make me fail, or steal my ideas, you made it personal, so don't be surprised if some kind of paw lands on your institution and a bunch of you land straight into prison, you tried it? I'll try it! The only thing I may have needed is understanding, but you exacerbated my frustration and my emotions still more, and I'm still writing, even if that's far more difficult now.

Have fun, all of you who worsened my already difficult life, with the result that I wrote a side story, to put you back where you belong; under my boots! And when I'll have the advantage we'll put our forces against each other, you will continue on the competition of who can last the longest with the lies like they'll become true for it, while I'll make a competition of who can last the longest without pardoning, ok? Nice, now we understand each other, so continue with your part of the story, make your contribution worsening my opinions... I shouldn't even have to hate you, your kind is a widespread success, those who use their intelligence to become hypocrites manipulators are very appreciated and well defended in hell, I shouldn't bother and just endure, more, but at some point it doesn't work anymore to crush one's will in the name of principles, and then there is the conflict of how I value people versus how this reality values them, and then there is adequacy; how appropriate things are for me versus what I do. I still can take it, people have seen worse, but they were not me, not at my epoch and not doing what I do, and these justification to take it on me I heed no more whatever I do because my soul is too profoundly disgusted. I still won't say menacing things to those people who pushed me to this situation, but I'll definitively express my disgust by saying that their attitude with different people like me who are a rarity shows that they'd prefer to encourage a genocide than to have a pain to their ego, how about that? In their brain full of conflicting manipulative bullshit that sure knows how to sing they're not racist or sexist, while they can't tolerate someone that is different if they can't find a way to crush him to insignificance, or to imprison him or to make him their pet, in their jealous indoctrinated brain, let's see how their type of peace and appreciation of life and differences will fare when we'll meet another species...

Finally, how can people say that this reality is good a success or that their religion is good if 2000 years later bundles of shit like that happens to their citizens? Eh? (my story simplified a lot, a bundle of shit that happened, but it's more like a cultivation really, that's why I started so ugly, when I germinated in the bundle of shit...)If you can't write without fear? If you need that much police to control people, if you need that much of a PMBBD machine, if you need that big a surveillance machine, if you got a million suicides every years? Suicide pandemia, the untold story...

Writings, whatever the content is not a bloody action, it's the minimal fundamental right at expressing you have, it is the sole free form of full liberty one can have, far more than talking. That doesn't mean bad books don't exist and that many should not be burned, it mean you cannot censorship books if the subject is exposed, whatever it is full of PMBBD, all you have to do is start by saying what you'll write about, then put it in its right place, everything got a best place, where PMBBD is kept at the book level; you can write anything evil in a paradise, it will be at its right place, and if you are truly happy, in harmony and doing things for great goals, why would you trouble yourself with devils? For fun? Be careful, it's very touchy to laugh at evil, don't think evil knows itself, it's all a matter of deception, and you'll be wrong in half your assumptions, and it's super hard not to be evil in hell, and most people try not to be, so you can't act radically or too generally... You cannot fear a book even if you can still fear repetitive passive PMBBD, but since you don't want any books read by anybody, then it must be categorized, and pub too. Yet, even PMBBD can lose all effect from being fought long enough, or disappear as entertainment, folklore, no effect since truth presence is overwhelming, detection have become an unconscious thing. But for now we're overloaded, even pressure selected to be more affected by it, in a reality that fears, controls and manipulates some subjects in books (not sex, too taboo), mainly things that could be at risk for the supposedly best order of things. I still believe most countries fulfill this minimal standard of freedom, if not then why bother? Since writing is the most laborious form of expression and communication that can exist massively and it is an active thing.

For those who think I described a bleak view of humanity, then you should know that that I willfully decided to be far less vindictive and revolted that I really feel I should be, when I woke up to this reality and life as a young man I went like the painting in front of the disaster... I'm lucky to have some humor, because seriously, I could really have ended in a psychiatric institute at some point, and the quest, and the opposition, and the situations... Anyway, while the disgust and psychotic frustration found peace in understanding, the truth is that I don't even need to concentrate on making anecdotal contributions because the weight of the ugly we hide is known and crushing, so what's the point, and destroying the truth is just too easy. So let's say I limited my interest to 1/10 of its size, to not burn myself too flamboyantly in hell (do some stupid thing where I die, or take meth with prescription painkillers). Don't think I can't imagine the extent of the ugly, I just don't care to be interested because you have it your way, but we'll see when I'll have it my way, then I'll gladly take you along with me to watch some true history, I'm prepared, are you? I could even show you my pitiful story, which would have been so much better as a story of love, and maybe it is...

I still believe humanity can still last at least 30 days without some critically grave problems, like depression epidemics and punk hysteria. So I try not to write bad feelings too much, that's one thing I wanted from the beginning too, and yes hate is useful, and meant to be experienced in one's life, but I always believed it was meant to end too; it's like a weight nobody likes to carry, carry it too long and you lose other important human attributes. So I'm done with that, it goes hand in hand with violence and death, that's the signification of peace to me, not a funky green grass with flowers thing, it is a spirit thing coming after a fight, or it can mean to be rid of a problematic weight we carried too long.

So even if I hated a lot, I understand people are a bit condemned to encourage this reality to the end, so I try to behave within the system limits people tolerate; you're full of "peace", good, then I'll have to assume you'll be capable of showing it's not bullshit, that you can still do the greatest project diplomatically, that's in part how we prove we're done with war among ourselves too, and I'll do nonviolent things too, super peaceful antichrist, and too bad for me, I can have food, I can have a heated place, you give me the means to survive, then I'll do. I want to be through with this, I don't want to add another shift of problems, I cared about humanity in this book, now I must care about me. Do you want it or not? You want it? Here, take it, use me in sense along with it if you want, I'm just telling you not to push me in depression with stupid arguments or difficulties, particularly if I already wrote about it. As for exaggerated hype and pressure, the last thing I want are people going hype; I'm not doing miracles, I'm an ordinary person you're about to trample, this is the new reality you must want, go, go, that's where your hype energy must go...

I can understand many people dream of popularity for their person because their soul is mainly empty, there are many that overrate themselves while overrating the ideal they admire, and become absorbers of anything that's just beyond survival, the competition is open, fight for the dirtiest of rat's holes, and that's an actual fact of life to me, with blood and hysteria involved, I risk my life in this shit to bring you my creativity, and we're civilized over here, the most civilized of the world, way beyond cavern times mentality...

And when they get used to it people can't let go because of all the investments, they dream of money and luxury as a goal too, they're in their reality after all, and some artists will even sing it proudly on good music like it proves they are normal, that everybody is like them and should be proud of it, or like they think it will remove the weight of their evils while they only add to it by profiting still more from people and spreading acceptance and tolerance and compassion and pardon for crappy attitudes, like they're some kind of victims of prejudice they have to raise against! But who am I? People "love" this reality, they "love" their "gods", admire them, make them rich, publicize them, you want to fuck with them and give them national funerals...

Sure that I'm not perfectly nice, but I did exactly as asked from the user manual; do no non-violent actions, express myself through laborious writing instead, find a nonviolent way and explode in violence a lot less. Are you happy now? Is that enough? I'd have a tendency to say no, because peace is mostly a lie to close mouth and displace frustration, like liberty... It took many years to "express yourself", I did, now what are you gonna do about it? You absolutely need to burn your eyes contemplating the coming of the irreversible? Sometimes I'm scared there is no will left for such changes, like a PMBBD and pressures after effect, too many deceptions for too long, too many lies, too much work, the hurdles of another way too big, ambitions, dreams, we have chosen our path, everything is needed to preserve.

So, what will it be? Small talk without use on television and internet and a load of discredit from knowledgeable people failing to catch the spirit of it? I could just protect the text and continue "profiting from the system" until I die before publishing, watch this reality degenerate while saying "I knew it" all along. But it would be no better on my self-esteem, and anyway, you'd say you'd have taken my shit seriously.

One thing's for sure, if everybody is hiding the kind of stuff I expressed in this book it should be quite a scary world out there, maybe it's the quantity in a single place. If you had many, like tons of them, from all kind of sources, beliefs, hate, love, consciousness, etc, then took the means to let them getting expressed within yourself, to understand the mess in your head, or out of revolt, or to give form to your imagination, and now that it encompasses your whole life, now that you proved you're not crazy by giving it a sensible form, now that your "therapy" absurdly failed and that you know you'll never be full participant in this reality, that you were justified to be revolted, what would you do? Stop it right there?

At last I understand that people don't do my stuff, it's very niche for old days, but the goal was to do something, so I'll finish this by adding that now you have it, you will stop torturing people like me if you don't want to know the truth of our thinking and be put your own stupidity in the face, from now on there will be no argument, I passed my life being told that the problem is me, that everything wrong is my fault, from the poor to the rich, I've had enough, all your shitty arguments I passed through them all and I explained that the problem is you, and I did it under all the fucking aspects that compose existence, hold to the bullsshit and you're just a clown! You have it now (put finger on your nose), and I'll ask you, spiritually pretentiously, to give me the name of the person you wouldn't dare piss off in your hell, go ahead, while I reap a whole life of people pissing me off, tolerance, patience, perseverance? Fuck you, you continually feed my rage and frustration, and I managed it so constructively, creatively, positively, that I wrote a whole nice book, always better, as my revolt, troubles and rage increased, I tell you I barley contain it, but I'll do, there goes your therapy, I'm more revolted than ever, and I'll have to carry those justified bad feelings all the way to my tomb, while you'll add more, but I tell you, it better end right there, for you, there won't be no argument, what can you say to me eh? I'll slam my work in your face, find your answers in there, I give it to you free because I don't want your kind of generosity or reward and it's not for sacrifice, it's because you are incompetent I give it to stand in front of those I despise. Maybe you win in your reality, but I win in mine, print it and put it in the hands of people, so they got some alternative thinking that make sense to refer to, not be faced with an impossible challenge of comprehension that is 99% sure to end wrongly!

So that's it, if in therapy theory I'm supposed to end-up less frustrated and angry, then it's not the case here, more like the contrary, ironically, and that's the feeling I had in the beginning from this autosuggestion because it is logical that if through introspection I discover I've been raped I won't feel better for it, not that writing about it is not good, but that doesn't work, or not always, half the time is very bad if the trade puts the emphasis on autosuggesting an acceptance pattern. I don't ask to end-up having fun living my destiny by writing about my problems, but common, here's my conclusion, what do you think?

I believe I'm fine, none of the panoply of problems I'm supposed to have really survived (with me problems don't survive...), I even believe I'm far better than all-right and healthy, I even hardly believe you can write such a book with a whole lifetime in this reality, even in heavy media and knowledge immersion. I'm actually scared that I could have lived without doing it...I've been brave, I've done far more than any psy would have believed possible, and I think I'll be successful beyond any standard or belief (human), yeah, that much, if you knew from how low I started, I had so many problems, you think dealing with your past is big? You got to deal with it as the future shows its options in my situation...

When I started waking up to this reality I saw it as a dump, I believed I would be some kind of dump master, I mean, it was full of garbage I needed to explode my horizons, but I was stuck, everything was like in the way, and I hated it. I quickly forgot that but I stayed on the same kind of track, I never thought I went to school to have a career, what I thought as my "job" was to become strong and know the world, so I asked for weightlifting equipment for Christmas and I craved for science and life books (insects books was a fascination), school meant nothing to me, in fact, I left school 3 months before graduating, I just dumped it there to go in the army.

Today I don't know how to see things, I kind of forgot such simple idealism, even if it comes to sting me with frustration once in a while. It seems I was fantastically mistaken though, and reality providing me its best? What a joke.

And I've been long gone, after my worst (first 500 pages) version I saw the bleeding and I knew my job would be to hold life like the most precious thing of the universe, and I set my path there, for better ideals and potential. That's why I started writing, to say why I'll never be a part of your party, from my deductions I can't continue in your direction, this book is me leaving a note behind to people who can't hear anymore, who laugh at my insistence, I'm gone and this is why, if I have the time to write it all without attracting attention even if I try, kind of inversely proportional ironic effect where good can't get himself understood in a hell of babbling communication and socializing. Good luck catching on with me, if you ever understand with proofs, because you have lost what it takes, and why should you care, you have your direction, you have proven hostile and condescending, you're already laughing, that you left me alone. So be it, I'll be the only one and only.

Early in life I started carrying the ideal attitude to test people, some sort of cute shy innocence, perfect to attract profiteers, but it's a trap I can do nothing about that end-up revealing a lot of how people are, it comes with the type of destiny, and after some quantity of wrongs I'm either in charge, I kick or I leave. The more wrongs the more explosive I grow, until it becomes a mental effort on my part to tolerate, understand, and all, but I almost always do so with time. From the beginning I controlled the physical violence extrapolation of it, with some exceptions on myself, as for the mental, it is very different because, like the physical that is highly automated from the historical physical truth of reality, the mental is super complex and can pass from stagnation, even regression, to extreme change, within a changing schema of reality where everything relative and variable and where words are have different value of meaning, continually pulled this way or that with PMBBD, and where there are political and religious entities that can totally fuck-up reality to hell.

Canalizing it where I wanted has been a challenge, illusions, deceptions, misunderstandings, and that led me to get a better definition of good and evil to start making sense somewhere, to know exactly what attitudes I should steer away from, as well as identifying these I wouldn't feel bad displacing my frustration to, the source of it probably. There's the importance too, but that doesn't work at all, I know that my personal situations should be ignored or tolerated, for the greater good, but I fail, I get angry at people, it's ugly, I put myself at risk to prove stupid points to people who can't understand. Eventually I suppose I'll get calmer, but it seems that the older I get and the more I'm in a position to better care, the more problems I run into with people, or the less I tolerate. It's me getting older I guess, and as always, to compensate adequately in appropriate humor for the sake of me, my irony and sarcasm engine got updated to the task, so I can work on both extreme fronts, as I walk the middle line, make pirouettes and get angry, as you gremlins expose all your tricks to make me fall to the precipice, and you're so much of a bad loser and cheater that in the end you'll cut the line. It may sound like barbarous pirate stuff, but that's in big part how you can see all my work because of all what was needed as philosophy to canalize at the right place, and in the process, a lot of energy have been wasted on the wrong targets or on too large a collateral. If you had read my first version, before reading this, you wouldn't have believed it; only me had the feeling to know what was behind it all...

I saw it as writing the worst at first, like the firing part of every subjects, while I still hadn't adapted to reality. Don't forget I always been a doubt and test guy, and so my rejection of it prevented it (the reality) from overwhelming my unconscious too much, or becoming my unconscious drive. While sarcasm and irony was good for lightening my revolt and all the lack of respect around me, and I can somewhat limit it, I seem to write ugly stuff as much as I write nice stuff. I "wasted" a lot of time on this as it continually spilled everywhere. It even became a severe paranoia as I didn't see it right away, years late often, as I understand more things evidently. I'm quite certain there are still a few "woops" moments, texture bugs, but you got to consider that you got 25 years old pieces of text here and in theory I was not born with an implanted recipe, so it's not because there's a weird moment or a mistake that it's a proof that I'm the antichrist...

It quickly became clear that the first versions was a mistake though, so yeah, I quickly got over the fact that I didn't get published, while I wanted a free version, so yeah, thanks for permitting me to become competent at shining a better light on things. I still had to redo or discard a lot of stuff with that sole goal since I could not see it if I was not totally concentrated on seeing it. And I still hate this reality, just in a more resolved way...

It has been quite a challenge, because yes, hate makes oneself quite blind even to hate itself, until I understood the quest was to be intelligent with it, to weight it well, judge it, justify it, canalize it right, and evidently, understanding removes the wrong collateral of it. Today, all that is getting kind of fermented, I think I'd be more capable of getting myself understood in my interaction than before where my only exit was to end-up alone instead of causing more troubles, either to me or others, but that's still dependent from interacting with people of adequate quality, I won't be nice if you replaced your human brain with the one of an alligator... One thing's for sure, I'm not the one to come to if you want to be told that there is no problem, that I'm the problem, that you're in the best system, that ego doesn't exist, that evil doesn't exist, that everybody is good, that only saints can throw a rock, that it is evil to judge people negatively.

Yet, I never lost all my candor, it even grew adding lots of stupid humor to it, so you don't know how I am in truth unless we know each other for some time, you'll see the day to day me, very simple, even shy sometimes, but you'll discover I can be surprising, that in fact I just let others reveal as I try to respect them, to some extent, I can even relax around people, I have enjoyable experience at it, among all the bad experiences... Still, I can be severely insulted, pushed and cornered to grave levels, I'll riposte to some very limited extent, just to limit, but don't be mistaken; never see that as inferiority or an attitude to exploit. Day to day, my attitude will roam a little differently inside its limitations, and it is all mental emotional, my clothes, face and hairs are always the same, you don't notice it much because I'm very calm, but ask the same question for an answer twice as long. I'm very easy to underestimate, and I'm very easy to overestimate. Judging me is not easy, I'm complex, but one somewhat got it; the person that have known me the most, who loved me the most. But we didn't love long enough to discover each other fully, just by half. So you got to be careful appraising me, not that I'm dangerously unstable, but let's say my nights bring me big counsels... What I want to say is that you would never suspect I could write this book, and I would never talk about it if I took the decision not to for whatever reason. Now, whatever what I wrote, I'm easily sociable, always been in fact, no problem, it's just that some categories of men got a jealousy problem with me...

The other factor here is that I did a whole interrelated package of philosophy, mentality and spirituality, I spent many years doing that, so bringing random cheap imagination to me is pointless, fragmented imagination, I don't know how to explain, but let's say that you won't impress someone like me with weird ideas, like what you do compares, write a whole package to see if your ideas can really be interrelated with everything, from fundamental matter, to the universe, even existence, life and mentality, because it feels lonely being me when people come around to boast they're intelligent and philosophical with stuff that immediately don't make sense to me, and I don't have the authority, so hostility develops quickly. That's probably an argument to say that what I did could only be made by a loner without influences from competitive friends who will want to inflate themselves, or gain something from it, be it pride or glory, or sex or money, or a simple feeling of being like me, while there is no particular feeling to it. I say that if you want to bring me new ideas, or help, then read my whole work , it's a fraction of what's in my mind, see if your ideas still work within the grand scheme of my vision, and it's not that I'm better or something, it's just that I did write the whole thing, do it too, explore your thinking see where it leads you, and let the limitations of your ideas reveal themselves by your efforts, not mine. and it's not a question of laziness, it's a question of not displacing the failures of your thinking in bad feelings on wrong targets, and I hate to feel like I have to be careful not to infantilize, I want people to have ideas, to use their imagination, whatever the weird stuff, but they have a path to follow to minimally be worth my time where I specialize, and respect, and don't do cheap boasting.

So how can you deal with someone like me in the state of my thinking? I'll tell you what; ease my life, make it enjoyable, talk day to day stuff, don't take my immediate answer too seriously, temperature, fun stuff, and I'm a leader in the ego god ideology and life gods ideology stuff, I can talk about that, but not much in an exchange way because I'm done, what can I add? So don't think you can jump right away at the result without a worthwhile investment of effort and time, you'll be a cheap copy, twisted evil is more like it... And I can't soak in any funky idea, read my work as a mark of respect before supposing that your ideas work with mine, particularly if you took these from somewhere else than your independent mind; if your ideas are the result of TV and internet bullshit I'll see it right away and you'll get an insult for pretentiously wasting my time, the same if you endorse bullshit. The same if you think you got arguments that can invalidate my stuff, read well my friend, before coming to me, I'm sure you'll find your answer...If not then I'm entirely open to it, it's just that my stuff is quite invincible, even if I'm never 100% sure...

I'm a well-made person, I'm complete, I work normally, and such people try to do something valuable by themselves, not as a competition or out of retribution. I'm tired of meeting people who seek to break others by their frustrations, steal their independence, make them dysfunctional people who need their directions, then insult them when they don't run everywhere doing something, and insult them when they run everywhere doing something too...

But yes, you'll have everything to become me in this book, just start by sacrificing sex and money and friends and comfort for all your adulthood! And some of these things you have to do incidentally! What's that worth? Is it difficult? You created the situation for me to take this form too, if moronic people (I mean people like super stars, porn stars, hockey stars, politicians and bankers too... well, maybe I'm generalizing my disrespect a little too much here, so I'll add that they are evil too...(that should better explain my general disrespect, and yes I know, there are porn stars that are not evil, just not virgins...). Anyway, if the moronic people among them weren't made improperly proud or sex obsessed or ego driven, then people like me would live in a better appropriate situation while being in love with a girl and my work would be less, less vindictive?

You won't become like me, in fact, if you try to become like me with your present momentum, then you'll end-up telling me I'm a darn moron for doing what has to be done to be me...And that's normal behavior in hell, I'm a moron, you're a moron, reciprocal feelings, I'll never be like you, you'll never be like me, I write bullshit, you write bullshit, I'm egotistical, you're egotistical, opposites of the same, we are ready for competition! I profit from the system, the system profits you... Bullshit will rule the world to the end, even if truth will win in the end...

In the end, I'm a realist person that understands the worth of attitudes and principles, the price of things, and I try to give everybody a chance in my vision of things. And don't tell me I'm too hard and that I should not make a paranoia about susceptibilities when we're within a hundred years from loss of potential, I'll even do worse, I'll bet my life we'll be in very grave troubles within 50 years, I'll live it with you, are you happy? We're all in it together! Even me that never embarked and never had a word to say will be forced to it!

You've got every argument to wake-up in this book, what can I say more? Rinse and repeat? And what argument will you use against me? That I want to become rich? Popular? Control people? I'm poor, a minus, I want a normal fair life, like all normal people dream of having, can I? Do I have to destroy this world to have it? So don't do the idiot by saying I quickly wrote this to profit from some troubles, you're the one profiting from anything to discredit what you don't like to hear. Go ahead I challenge anybody that has a condescendence problem with me to develop the argumentation and design for a new reality, within...10 years since you got an example, it should fit your competitive mentality, and it should have some interesting content, just that and no added level of difficulty...

Most of this is year 2000 frustration, I mean I started writing seriously at that time, so you understand I chose my path long ago, no 2012 paranoia at the time; what was hot and wow and scary was the year 2000 bug... I surely won't say my writing didn't get reinforced by actual events as I wrote, but the whole philosophy and ideas is old stuff and I wouldn't start writing in an optic of present knowledge and events since it would be impossible to finish. My work is about life, and my life too since I got nothing else, and it took my adult life to date to write, even if I could say my whole life have been used fighting this reality in a realist way, survival and form oblige; I never decided to drop everything to be under social assistance and profit from the system, not at all, it was standing up, it was acting with integrity, it was acting human, it was taking my responsibility, a finger to religions and psy and anti-depressives, to industrialists, to governments, to "love". I couldn't bow to it so I fought in my own way, and I sacrificed everything standing up, and alone at it, my apostles? They laughed or made me insignificant so I flushed them all...

So don't say I'm just following global trends, that's not true, I bring new visions, new philosophies, etc, what I wrote is not your standard philosophy or mentality or spirituality, I invented a new reality, I did this independently, as a result of working for many years. I don't say this to say I'm so special, I say this to prevent some people from trying to both discredit my work and minimize its importance, or to act like they're more intelligently than me, whatever the agenda. It means too that very young I had a different opinion on things. I'm original, authentic, a precursor, and my work is a reflection of that, I'm not a reflection of my ages, I don't copy, I create, from my whole mind to a whole reality, and I'm tired of doing prevention against cheaters, manipulators, thieves, and jealous people.

And telling you I'm a minus doesn't mean I'll just grab at my ass for the rest of my life after writing all this; there are many things I can still do, and I'm the one to decide my life. But I'm not a dictator, I tell you how life is important, worth war and a fabulous flower, I may even battle in blood for it, I'm not limited to one option. And yes I got an ego and needs, I work like everybody else, my life is hard too, but while you prepare your old days I have nothing. It's all a matter of priority and the capacity to do it, which is super scary to me, dealing with the immediate reality of a humanity reaching massive troubles, and knowing the deal between me and all entities, that my work must be free... And don't think I have to do with my personal battle, I did my personal battle, the future is not my personal battle, if you think that, then leave it at that, read this like entertainment, or don't read it at all and forget about all this, and it will be what you wanted of it; my personal thing.

As for finding my place, as I imagine I should need a new perspective, probably not, I must find a place where I can learn more than new examples of this reality incompetence, I have enough of that, either I find an environment that is constructive to my mind or all I'm left with is the position of a teacher. But it's all inappropriate, I'm sure everything would go wrong, and that's always something I fear, the path I have chosen requires so much willpower to skip falling into traps or laziness or mind degeneration that I'm left with very little to recharge my reality transposing batteries. Luckily there is a bottom line coming with my work, it's like an investment in forever more power, but that is a very long process, that still has issues...

So sorry if I lose my temper a little, at least I still got enough class and respect for life and people that in the face of death I'll have the decency to reward the world with no greater pleasure than a simple smile and the affirmation that life, the human and love are still worth it whatever I've been through. In a different reality encouraging a different selection I should add. I'll end it in the same way I respected myself, my mind and life. And I should sure thank someone for the extraordinary coincidences involved in finding love and that magical cat...

As to the how to see me and my work, let's say I like to bet, ok? Everybody likes to bet, it's a human thing we do continually, and you would never live without it. You could see things that way instead of thinking I'm some kind of godly predicator of death; I bet everything in one big bet. So I try to deduct the future and I place my bets, I only have one life to lose and everything to win while you got everything to lose and nothing to win since you already got everything and built your reality from it, that's the odds. Evidently, with everything, one can make himself an invincible cheater...But I've been waiting and worse for some luck, one does his own luck you could say, maybe I'll get it and everything will go well for once. In a sense this book is like one little fight after one another, thousands of them, they are like slowly doing my own luck.

I don't think that's the definition of a prophet, or whatever mythic chosen one mystic, but you still got to be careful because when you think about it, this can be an argument in the pool that can be used to discredit my true goal. You could see things as an investment if you like it better, I invested my life in my view, you invested your life in yours, this is the result of my investment, it doesn't make me a prophet, the result could have been totally different.

For now, all of what I wrote about in my book (s) feels so strong and so right at home in me, that not only I can't live without it, not only I live by its laws, but I'll gladly express it to the whole world even if I know it goes against all philosophy, all powers, all mentalities, all sects, and all religions to ever have existed in the whole history of humanity! I don't know how but I know I wrote something unique, totally out of any standard, with nothing to compare to, and it all goes together logically. My visions, my argumentation, my probabilities, all that is not perfect too, but who does my kind of work? Versus how I saw thing when I first started, I say I succeeded in my goal wonderfully, whatever some will think as they go denial (that doesn't mean I won't defend myself, insult, live frustrations etc). Like all those jealous people who boast they can create my kind of bullshit 2 fingers up their nose, while in truth nobody can do it in part because it is a destiny, it's half chosen and it may happen, and you have to believe in all forms of beliefs innocently to gain the final key (go through them beliefs by yourself as an innocent growing up without education on the subject and without embarking in a religion). Probably the same situation happened with religions too, where the system cheated a Jesus guy of his destiny, killed him before he could reach maturity, then made an amalgam of his vision that profited the rich people of the time; it's like taking bits and pieces of the thinking process a super imaginative person will go through, then make a dysfunctional story with imagination or dreams as miracles in it, add worse, far worse in fact...

So it's just me and life, and my work, no miracles in there, even if all along I felt like I wrote in nothingness. After more than 20 years it is within my rights to conclude that what I stand for is worthless to this reality, nothing seems to appear, and my pains, and my lacks, well, let's hope oblivion isn't too tempting...Just know that I'll prefer to die by myself than to be served fatality through more inadequate respect because what I lived through emotionally is absolutely extraordinary, and the only way someone will ever have a hint of the scale of my feelings is by reading my work.

So I didn't have an institution or anybody to back me up or encourage me, it's fresh creativity, and this is how strongly in its place it feels, but I still wouldn't ask what a psy think about it though, unless the person got the capacity or will to hybridize his view, because it is evident to me that I don't fit any current set of mental laws, so what does that makes of me? What's my mental malady eh? I'm special? Why? And shouldn't you arrange your profession so I fit in it? If I don't fit it's because you're wrong, and it's a whole mentality I'm having here, a sane one that sure shouldn't lead me to reap all the troubles I lived and I'm successful in inversed therapy of hell, remember? I'm justified to be revolted! I'm healthy!

In the end, I was always fine, from the day I was born, and the black beast I feared to unleash was a fabrication from reality, or a bundle of cumulating bad feelings I couldn't unleash back at their right sources without the reality adding more in its totally ridiculous psy twisted judgment by incarcerating me in prison or a psychiatric institute which, I seems to believe, I've been forced to one way or the other, from my parents to my lodging institution, from the demonization to the lack of means I had to live with. I was not bad seed, I was at the extreme opposite, the best fucking seed! And this reality, whatever the way, failed totally to bring me the minimal care I needed mentally to grow as the wonder kid I've always been. Whatever the emotions I lived, the frustration and hate I cumulated, I was so good that I transformed it in the best form I could in this reality that did everything to worsen things, or failed to make a monster out of me.

And whatever I'm not right in everything I say, opinions and possibilities oblige, the result is there; I'm a civilized man in this hell while its members continually act uncivilized with me, but I still think it's twisted kind of normal; we can't be friends, we can't be enemies, and I'm just there despairing with 0 at friends. My usual don't exist scenario some will say, but it's really serious...

Another little Jesus conclusion about my psychological quest to understand, more spiritually related, is that I think I cannot be the result of one aspect of life; the facts of my life, the way my mind works, the conclusions I have come to, what I experienced of reality, there is a scary aspect to this which is that manipulation in the possibilities I explored cannot account for my existence. What I mean, is that if I wanted to make a guy like me it would not succeed whatever the means involved, neither life systems (too slow), neither gods (in my views of their limitations), neither the UI (logical limitations). To get a sense of life, like me you'd need them all, whatever's out there, which I can see as powers; like life, humans, gods and the UI.

So the theory is that I debark and end this epoch (hell, darkness) and define a new one (paradise, light), because I don't like the way things look. Maybe I've gone crazy, I could be superman too, I don't have lasers but there's a whole aspect of me that I don't talk about, I hear and see "motivational content" (strange) things and events, beyond my capacity to deduct as manipulations from reality. If something is possible with enough means then it's probably some institution trying to mess up my life, conspiracy theory can be a category, for all the rest I fail to categorize as such, there's just, well, eh, eh, eh...And how about Santa Claus? I'm sure I'm Santa Claus! All is missing is the name of the love guy... Ah, I know, I'm multifunctional!

So my fights were in part meant to define the principles and ideals that would form my vision of a different reality. I tell you, it all fits. I could still be a cheap fraud though, because I don't make miracles? I feel entirely human, but I don't know, how do you feel? For now I'm happy as much as I'm permitted by the situation this reality forces me to versus the integrity of my mind, I could say I'm proud as much as I'm permitted by my intelligence, but pride lost its shine somewhere along the way, or I don't have pride? Let it be known that I'm proud of my cells for having supported me this long, but I don't feel pride, maybe more like some level of wellbeing. So when I'll die I'll be satisfied of my work, proud is another matter. I think pride as a true feeling should be dependent from having intelligences appreciate your attitudes or work, which can be anything, and that doesn't much applies to me, except versus my own intelligence. And since I'm not a reflection of the wills of this reality, then my pride is very limited. And as an intelligent person, I understand that the entities I believe in will probably change nothing of that, I guess through the principles and philosophies I developed. Contrarily to religions that tell people that acting in their way will bring the approbation of gods, I develop my own vision and if gods like me or my work then maybe I'll be proud. For now I'm just proud as myself of the result of my work, which is as much in my writings as it is within me.

Wishing stuff too has lost its shine, and hope, I don't wish and hope much, I still use those in text, as a way of talking, but this reality got too much of a propensity to reserve its worst for me, or I'm at the opposite of the tangent of pressure selection, or I fall in troubles too easily, or I suffer from too much bad luck, or I lived through too much deception, I don't know, but I prefer to let these concepts in the hands of life, or gods or the UI, which are already systemized to deal with them I like to think.

The same for promising things, it's too easy for this reality to invalidate my promises. What I find particularly special is promising things to gods, like all those glorified historical figures who promised to become Christian if they won this battle or that, then they win and spread Christianity all over their empire. Conditional belief is not my style, the same for bringing a suitcase full of dollars to the pope to get a benediction and a key for paradise. My view of gods would find that a bit insulting, a lack of respect and a lack of understanding of the most fundamental principles of belief.

Finally, no the world doesn't turn around me (not physically at least...), and no I'm not making a sect or a religion, I'm just doing my job, a job that's as important as it is rare. I know that talking like that makes it easy to doubt my sanity, but in theory it shouldn't remove any of my rights and you can always see it as entertainment. So I won't provoke the tragic, even if nothing is ever enough for ego people, they want lifelong sacrifices while under their pressures, or control, or PMBBD for no changes at it in the end, they just push you for entertainment.

So you don't have to see me to appreciate what I wrote, you don't have to make me popular, and you surely won't make another reality for me, or do it fast while I'm alive, you do things in their best or ideal way, and at the worst just ask around in afterdeath, and if I'm not there you'll have to go ask the UI, ask it how I'm going with an emotion, but you'll have to be motivated to get to it...

I hope all my might that my version of a better ideal or philosophy will move people, but even if I end-up not liking how things develop, it was good doing it, and I like humanity as I like life for as long as it exists since I could have grown very differently, it's just that we didn't have much TV at home...

Just don't forget I'm inverted; don't think I'm making mistakes everywhere, I may, I may not, and I'm not crazy. Humanity have become crazy from the ego-gods ideology and jobbing mindless, my work is a warning and a way out I believe, you are the crazy one if you don't care; when we'll have lost hope, what will be crazy? I give it a chance, yes me, a little man, after all the craziness because I still believe in humanity's potential. I wrote it in part to show I like humanity and life whatever they put me through, this is a proof that I like it more than most while I reap worse than most, you think I would have written all this if I didn't care? Or if I wanted it destroyed? No, I'd have profited as much as I could instead; I like life, and I don't need to be a "love" distribution machine to prove it.

And I can talk like that because nobody do it. I took the means to give life the worth it has, and I had to invent all that from not much. And don't think it was easy work, it didn't take more than 15 years for nothing, and you got to ask yourself how many people write their first book in another language... So you see, my last 15 years, they flew away, a big hole here, it is where I felt alive in truth even if I was inexistent for this world and now I'm weird. Everybody got it weird with me too. Do you think a woman would still fall in love with me at this point? Wouldn't a girl feel overwhelmed? I should drop all that to find a "simple" girl that just want to be with a "simple" me and live in humility, maybe not as much humility, done that a lot, I'm worth far better than this...For now some adventurous science work would be nice, while knowing my woman is around and happy. I could drop all this, fill that hole with lies, lies nobody will contradict since I'm alone, invent girlfriends, jobs, some justifications for anything, I could be careful and she'd never suspect how good everything is.

Yeah, get myself a girl farmer and move out again instead. To village! From village and forest back to village and forest. I'd be happy to use some collars, fishing pole and a tent, I have made too long a shift in a city, nothing positively interesting here anymore. As for having many people around, I could almost say that the less I deal with them, the less there are around, the better, but we all know that's not the case, people are nice, sometimes. I will stay at my apartment and continue working on new versions until I'm competent, even if I'm dreaming of things I shouldn't, things I should forget, particularly after writing this. I'll wait a little before doing anything stupid, and after the end of the world, 2013, when people will have had their rendezvous with death, I'll see how many are left and if they're in contact with the resistance, after that we'll see. If my book is a big success with Pulitzers in many categories, then I won't last long without Kodaks and drones all over my ass, imagine if I become international!

For those who will say I should have concentrated on defining the life reality, know that it would have been of no use, I had to argument, justify, defend and fight, and far more. And it doesn't work like that, I was not born with it, maybe a little, but it came from hating this reality and this came from somewhere, it's exactly half unconscious half conscious, life held me and then I held it, I found the one that made me revolt and I battled him, it was an ideal, not people, but people kind of made it reality, half and half innocently like me, so I had to pass through them; I did it quick like a bull at first because nobody respected me and I'm strong and young, I saw it was worth it (the stuff in the smoke, if you remember...), I saw I was worth it, so I turned back, and seeing that people still haven't caught up to my initial passage, only in a zombie slapping around way, with a clown here and there, I adjusted thing before they reached the point of questioning if I've pissed them off or not, all the while better defining my vision.

I didn't do this for self-interests, I believe in what I wrote, but I still made this effort because I believe it was worth it too, I could have played the innocent to the end, get a job and make money, have fun, but I listened to my revolt and it carried me to this result, and I'm pretentious enough to believe I may have done something uniquely extraordinary in human history by managing to get everything under such a nice package, and I read nothing so how do I know? And I know nothing of what I'm talking about, never forget that. So even if I'm full of flaws, I hang to life even if the challenges never end and I get dirty continually, and it's far worse when you have to carry it through hell, or the hell it made, or its misguided senses made, and we're all getting educated, even the UI is getting educated here! For now it's me against this reality, nobody helped me, exactly the contrary, but I made myself stronger than the biggest monster even if I'm alone with my ideal. Personally I don't need to fight anymore, I'm just taking it easy on some beach with a hot chick while goliath is gone crazy hallucinating and dealing with self-projections. And yes, today at 37, I may hold the future of humanity in my hands, it's a shame I'm not a James bond savior with women all around...and a matriarch in the behind mirror.

Now, I hope you understand the work that has to be done. This is the planting of the spirituality of life, in fact, you could almost call it the true start of spirituality since science is directly in it, logical to it, condemned to it in possibilities, and the life reality interrelate everything. My part is a personal battle in some collateral; in my epoch I had to take some menacing stances, and shout in another language to get people's ass moving for life...I think it can be enjoyable or rewarding, but it won't be easy. You worked very hard for this reality and it rewarded you with the entertainment, sex and gods everywhere revolution, I hope you have lots of fun, the years you're living right now are the best part of this reality, but let's say the party slipped sideways a little and now we are in a bad situation (in my opinion). You don't think after work and fun since you didn't create for sustainability, what was the story again? He worked 6 days straight and on the 7'th day he took it easy, yeah, the work of the first day was brain work, since before placing a point in reality you need to have an idea of something, apart from artists who have the capacity to shut down their brains and let their soul talk, SF stuff I say...

I revolted in youth and somewhere around adulthood I studied things personally, and instead of concluding things were good and get a career the contrary happened, and it became my work whatever I did it willfully or by inadvertence, then it became basic understanding to me that I would work solely as a responsibility, then a bit as a condemnation, self-pride, prove I was worth it, even if people who read me know it's far from the whole story.

You're jealous? Do it! I feel alone and we've got a new reality to build, members of this reality got regrets to live, responsibility to throw around, evil to fight, and debts to reimburse...or erase...that should be easier. Oh, and I'm not above living some regrets, I'm full of regrets, as much as I have secrets at least, contrary to many people who say they regret nothing of their wonderful perfect life where there's nothing to hide. I should say that when you regret nothing you're not worth living much, since you always got something you can do better, and you're supposed to regret not trying, at least for some relative time, unless you twisted the signification of regrets. But my biggest regrets are related to my relations with the people I met in my life, I regret my attitude with most people who appreciated me, I sometimes go to bed thinking about them (why I'm alone), but I know I had to be like that, for many reasons, that was part of "getting the means" to express my revolt against this reality.

I understand how friends are important to one's life, and as I grew up along with writing this book, I came to realize some liked me far more than what was evident, and that their ways of expressing it was just a bit maladroit, so that's it, I regret failing those people that appreciated me, and my cat too, that could have stayed around far longer if I had taken better care of it. The morons I insulted or who reaped my anger less so, in fact I should never have had to meet them, because they have the advantage, and fighting them you make a fool of yourself whatever the intelligence, because their intellectual limitations have become a defense, they protect it because with it this reality gives them a competitive advantage over intelligence, being a retard is an evolutionary trait lately, and people like me go crazy, prove themselves crazy, and kill themselves. It's just an image, but let's say I stopped at the proving step, and I'm kind of at peace with that, particularly with the results I got; it's not like I'm a politician or superstar, they don't live in my crazy environment, and even if they were, they would live a totally different experience. That is particularly true for those low level psychopaths who think humor is the biggest sign of intelligence. In my personal situation of my writings, I use it more like an art form to express bad feelings that I don't want to dramatize, and all along a little to lighten the mood.

I still haven't executed someone whatever the anger, but it will happen if I catch you raping me or my space...Evidently there is necessity too, I learned with time that confronting problems is the most dangerous attitude to have for my type, and say what you will, but to me everything looks really patented against me, from youth to adulthood. And psy can tell whatever bullshit to do it too, that I'm experiencing persecution delirium tremens, but they are a part of this too I say, even if they'll say it's paranoia, the skill that permitted me to survive I should add...Worse, I'm making a fixation on people making a fixation on me, like I shouldn't...

I had to find why people disrespected, or humiliated, or hated me as a young man, I took my hole and closed my mouth for a decennia to understand, only to find that it's because they instinctively knew I was better than them, like the selection has become genetic, with jealousy and fear as a prerequisite...I was the true innocence, the kind that reveals evil, and I fight it, because I don't embark. I stayed young in my heart, something many people confound for to a retard in development, or an opportunity to manipulate and profit, the dream! When I reveal my true strength, when I decide that nobody will act like assholes with me no more, when I unleash my wrath, then I realize all those people become "exemplary" citizens, weak and full of shit, they erase their difference to ally against me, and run to the police with lies at the first opportunity. You wouldn't believe how many people have hated me because of their assumptions about me or my work, or got frustrated because they thought they had the biggest dick, and I'm not talking about those who make a fixation because they've seen the antichrist, or the 666...I'm at the extreme of the pressure selection for elimination, I don't even need to tell my opinions, it's instinctive, simply from my existence, from my soul that shine in this hell! What I lived as injustice all along my life from jealous or fearful people is hard to believe, to the point that I let them have their way, to continue taking my responsibility versus life, my mind, which I see not only as a brave thing to do, but a damm hard one too, and I'm not talking about the effort to continually tolerate while I have every argument to kick, even destroy! And this attitude not only permitted that, not only it saved me from a lot of problems, but I'm sure it permitted my survival until now! Now that I'm older, my candor that attracted manipulators and profiteers is getting replaced by a variable amalgam of determination and deception compensated by wisdom, not much a reflection of the ball of bad feelings I cumulated all along my life... I should be proud of that, that I managed to finally calm my more blunt aspect, but my desire for retribution is still there, and being powerless to use it adequately in reality, in part from the fact that it's super hard to know for certain if you're not missing the point, and since it exist for a reason, I decided to see it like a total energy battery, that can be used against evil in reality, or at the worst expended somewhere in afterdeath...

What other option is left to me? except imprisonment or mind ablation therapy, no fighting, only running away like a coward that I'm not because I've not only been made totally powerless to have an effect, but the only effect is more troubles for me, so fuck you!

I even made a dream that somewhat reflects that lately. In it we are about a dozen people who are going to leave for a new world, I'm the first to enter the small vessel, more like a bus, and I sit in a back seat. I'm happy like a kid, I feel privileged, but then my happiness dwindle as people embark, I can't quite put my finger on it but I feel there's not much potential friendship there. Amongst the last to embark is a rich presidential family kid, she sits right beside me, and everybody is like flabbergasted deferent to have her on board, they want an autograph, and since I'm not that much interested in her I have to leave my seat to let her fans surround her. Then some dirty guy with a constant sarcastic smile enters and greet me with a disrespectful insult, a troll, I ask for apologies but he just sits there looking at me with his smile. Instead of punching his smile in, I do like I've been asked to do; complain about it to the boss who's just entered to give his speech. I've never been an amateur of the style, but in the name of living this adventure I do complain. The result is that she disrespected me too by ignoring my complaint and by ordering me to go embark my baggage which she seems to see as garbage. I turn around and see that the "trunk" of the transport is just big enough to fit my stuff, which means I'm the only one with some baggage, but I don't move; I'm thorn between deciding to live this extraordinary adventure or staying on earth. I decided the chosen people would fail and I'd be made responsible for it, so I decided to stay on earth instead of confronting their attitude, I leave to get my baggage and don't come back, but everybody is too happy to notice or care. I somewhat see this dream as a reflection of reality.

I still appreciate people instinctively, always been a gentleman, and I like to be appreciated too, there are tons of people that are fine, but I suppose they are not the ones I meet the most in my poor situation, I have a tendency to meet the cream of those who sold their soul to the devil, or to nothingness, and their favorite pastime seems to be to get jobs or find places where they can destroy what they are jealous of, often unconsciously at it, when they don't brandish the law to force me under their incompetent judgment, control, or sick mentality, and you wouldn't dare pop the inflated self-esteem of an insignificant making a power trip...Sometimes I wonder if they get these jobs not because they want to help people, but because they like to infantilize, or to get a guaranteed feeling of superiority and control in the pyramidal schema of things, and they go nuts when they meet me...A lot of psy and social workers do their job for such reasons too; hypocrite self-inflation superiority...

As for those people who had a good attitude with me, that I failed to see, or who just feared exchanging with me, reciprocally, I hope the future and my philosophy, mentality and spirituality will provide me with better means and the time to befriend them, loneliness kills, they should be around me, even if all what they have is a liking on me, a source of strength that is painfully deficient in my life, whatever it is under some hype effects. I always respected, listened to, and tried to help people who respected me, I don't judge people at the personal level unless they directly affect my life negatively, in fact, I judge at the place I have the right to judge, I'm reactive in my judgment, not active, and that applies to reality as much as people. I pardon people too, I really don't like to carry hate and this desire for retribution, which is an after effect of injustice or unfairness or cheating. At least I have the mind to discern psy and religious bullshit, like the saying that you become like the one you exercise your violence or retribution on, or that trying to fight wrongs without passing by the justice system just make the world more of a violent place, to pacify good people, to let evil thrive, the truth is that not only you don't become evil if you fight evil, but you become better for it, and the other truth is that either you fight for fairness or evil wins, and this is a matter of life and death, it is a matter of survival in the universe. And it's not a competition, it's just the path of entropy, of taking the easiest or shortest route instead of the best route, of being lazy or fearful instead of being driven and brave, of manipulating and profiting from everything instead of being truthful and making knowledge free, etc, etc. In the end, when you'll have only the hope of your religious god to justify your attitude, that's what you'll regret not having done, talking regrets, or that's what future people who will finally have lots of time for thinking will despise their ancestry for, as they try to understand why everything went to hell.

Concerning pardon, I do it if I feel there's a real effort from the person, because I know the momentum of reality will push many people to take a bad path, but it's no justification to let things degenerate in the hands of manipulators and profiteers until unfairness is systemized as something normal. Worse, this reality is so low that pardon has been twisted to become related to situations that have nothing to do with it. I say you should ignore bad things if they are accidental from good intents or true innocence or candor, pardon shouldn't even cross your mind, just be careful of manipulators who will try to do self-inflating actions under the coat of good intents or innocence, and there are many such people...That how I am, and you may think that's totally fucked-up in the exemplary result of your mentality, but I know I'm right and I will continue to have these attitudes, whatever I have to run away and hide like a coward to survive. Regrets are not meant to end in a tomb, I will fight, in order of priority of what my person can accomplish, and it is sure not to hit my enemies physically, we're not in Neanderthal times after all, where things were far simpler... At least my regrets are not a materialist thing, or a profiting from life thing, or a fun and party thing ...

I can regret not doing more too, but that's hard to judge situationally speaking, my past is full of stuff looking like procrastination. I think I could become good leading around too, if there were movers, I could even like it, but I'll probably get shot. I'm still ready to stand and take the heat, since I have all the necessary examples of people who took the heat all their life for nothing, but I limited my responsibility, my job, my quest, to this book anyway, this is where I decided I would excel, that was the contract between me and life, this is where my leadership is supposed to extend its value, this is where I saw my potential, the difference between a glorious future or a shameful failure. That's the way my judgment told me I'd have to do things if I'm to lead life to victory. I could have succeeded at 80, but it seems the condition necessary involve doing things a lot, and I mean a lot earlier, as an innocent, so I'm sorry for that.

The way people will deal with my work will reveal their maturity, and if my entourage is any hint of that then things looks gloomy, it will be a mix with some who will probably react in fear and demonize or lobotomize me, other may steal parts of it for manipulation or profits, but then let's say I'm not in the most mature environment, maybe trump and cie will see things differently, or just banish it immediately as classic childish paranoia about poor mother earth or life not being able to take it anymore...

If people decide I'm exaggerating and paranoing too much or that making another reality is surrealist then what can I say? For as long as you don't bring me credible proofs then it's because I didn't touch humanity, or critical people didn't care, or I didn't win at lottery. Don't punch someone though, write, like me, there are psychopaths everywhere and governments make lists of dangerous people to arrest in times of troubles, it's like that at the end of times. I don't want to die! It's just a stupid book where I talk ideology shit, I'm not suicidal or a sacrifice maniac and I won't become a fucking martyr, I'm already one anyway, in my spirit... And I want to live a long life and healthy and loving and I'm worth it so give me some fucking money! So in a sense, this book is like the death of my old life to me, the path of my new one, and that's how I can continue, and whatever the future hold, I'll find positive uses for my life.

And don't tell me I'm too hard, that I should not say negative things about this wonderful reality and its people, none of which can take criticism I bet, so much we're living in an ideal system, it's me that got problems, I know, I understand a lot are innocent even if I may have had to put an emphasis on some attitudes that particularly lead to this, and I got to have justifications too; if I didn't point a finger, I wouldn't have made all this, someone got to be in front of my finger, if not, dump my work, as simple as that.

Maybe someday we'll have thousands of specialized television and radio channels of all races and languages spreading the good news...maybe not, and only the ego ideology need that much of a fantastic PMBBD machine, I bet the life spirituality could easily become planetary with one thousandth the wasted cost on resources and life energy needs of making of this ideology the only way to this day. And the cost may end up extraordinary beyond imagination, because in the end, if people do nothing it will eventually be too late to be worth it, and when it's too late it's too late, you can act or even sacrifice as much as you want to prove your will, it will still be too late, you've not been good enough, and that's the price of stupidity, or lack of good consciousness, lack of far vision, willful innocence, dependence and particularly PMBBD.

To continue on the prevention aspect, in case we're stuck on a status quo for decennia, we will need some special people to defend my work too; a big slab of it acts as a prevention, but alone it won't be enough if big connoisseurs start manipulating around. So we'll need a few people who not only understand it well, but can move through it with ease, so they can defend it and fight with it; this reality have any crappy argument to defend itself, I wrote tons of logical arguments to defend the life reality, and I already answered most bullshit in advance somewhere. Evidently, that doesn't prevent people from making special or development editions.

It doesn't take much paper making a book; a few of your morning papers, and most of the price you pay doesn't go for the author creativity, imagination or effort, 3/4 goes to the machine; publishers make more money out of a book than writers. A book is not a sacred thing either, you know what is sacred; power, communication, truth, love, things like that. You can make coffee spots all over it, it can exist on an oily spot too, like your garage, you can burn it if you don't like it, it won't explode, nobody will punish you, only if you steal from it, because that's what makes my work sacred; I've given it, and I didn't do it so people could make money in my place from my mind...You make a non-profits version? Good, you use the profits to help the life reality? Good, even if you keep a little for the effort, just don't grow an account to buy yourself big stuff. For now, whatever there are 10 000 publishers, whatever all this big super communication stuff all around, we're still in Jesus times concerning communicating serious opinions that could really change things for the better; the abscess just grew gigantic. But you can ruin the earth to steel strap it all you want, it will just blow harder in more of a stinking infectious mess.

And I know this is not perfect English, I learned a lot as I wrote but my expertise is not in writing well for sure, or worse, it's not supposed to be if I do...I just hope I'm not writing like a superior intellectuality, that would be like defamation for the league of superior intellectualities who have a troublesome relation with intelligence, and it would be worse than anything. Yet, if I came to write all this time without help, then there is something wrong somewhere outside for sure, or I've been cheated, or there is a problem with me or many people thinking themselves intelligent; some incredibly underrated people are crushed to insignificance while many are terribly overrated...

Furthermore, writing in another language may help sound bizarre on difficult subjects too; I didn't develop the "feeling" of English from youth, even after writing a whole book I'm just shaking off the alien feeling, and I would guess that won't help someone that is already "limit" in his opinions sound more mentally healthy too...I would correct that too if I could. As for translations, I understand that mistakes happen, but bad intents are a different manner. Don't manipulates (twists) the truth of me, you'll translate my attitude, maybe not to perfection, but in somewhat equivalent accuracy too, while keeping text integrity and mentioning the source.

A corrected version can be made, but I said corrected, not hacked; phrases can be reformulated, some parts removed, I understand that, but my work must reflect me. Then anybody can copy or translate from that version for all I care, but any use or extrapolation of this text must mention the source, evidently. I made this, I'm supposed to do what I want with it, and I want everybody to have free access to a digital copy. I spent my life to date in this and I need people to read it, that's the use of systems, and I don't want someone to make an eternal profiting hegemony over it. This is what I did and nobody will steal it from me or make PMBBD out of it, it explains how I developed through my life adventure, to survive obstacles too, it is the formulae I took. This book is about a developing me, one human, with qualities and flaws. And yes it may have to be corrected, but the initial spark always comes from one person, I'm that person, other versions or extrapolations don't replace the original, they spring from it, and they can go to the point of making the original worthless, no problem.

If some publishers want to live the adventure, then they must be capable of working with me for a more professionally made version, cuter covers are imperative, and 3D artists are supposed to be everywhere, so inside drawings should be remade to higher standard, apart from marketing and proofreading that's part of their job, why they are paid, and I'm sure we can make a contract where are all satisfied. That's my assumption so get moving. And if this vast industry is too cheap to do it, then to hell with it; it's like saying you have no right of expression if you don't invent the typewriter each time you need to write a phrase, or don't bother if it's not expressed our way! What can you do then? I think I'll hide that under dust and rocks and nobody will know who wrote it, some old philosopher from a dead civilization, dead, yes, I don't know why it would be alive...

I may consider an independent person or group that I judge as competent enough too, but I will only help if the involvement is serious on the subject of the update; I don't say it must be, I say that people who really want to make it more complete or better should show me some work in advance so I know if it will be appropriate. As for implementing new content, don't forget you don't update a book with a few little pieces of text; you need to understand its spirit, you need imagination, in fact, you liked it enough to see extrapolations, corrections and add-ons at many places. You may be on the right track if you got 100 pages of modifications or new content.

I'm sure what I wrote can be developed in a few ways because this is not a roman; it is a complex amalgam of pieces of text. I ended it, but it may be possible that it can't be ended, that's why I'll include the root, so people understand the process of its creation. It was still not supposed to grow over 2000 pages though.

Yet, my view could have been written within a few years and a few hundred pages without making of myself such a frustrated or revolted person, that could have happened, but something else happened. Or as big but quicker and better had I started with a few adequate friends without bitching and fighting. Or a rare love type would have made it better, but such things failed to happen, and whatever my personal frustrations, nobody take action upon people related to me except me, the exception is saving my ass I would guess, like good people try to do among themselves...

Next is the root; you don't need to read it, but it is from this chapter that I made the whole book (s).

THE ROOT

As I wrote the computer version I switched pieces of text to and fro from this chapter; I saw it as the root of the seed. I transcript paper pieces and wrote new things here while giving each piece of text a subject category or hint of implementation target. I did this while advancing in my ordered writing, cumulating pieces out of context yet important enough. I wrote hints of subjects to develop too, things I should watch out for or do; I even gave myself philosophical missions. Stashing and classifying all that helped me memorize and tie things together better too. You can imagine the work when you're around chapter 9; you got over 150 pages of bits here, all awaiting an opportunity. So you could see this book (s) as a gigantic puzzle as maybe as much as 3/4 of it was written apart. Old paper pieces in French rewritten more orderly, more paper pieces, a switch to English and more order resulting in a mountain of paper, start at a book written at the bic, a better computer version with the creation of the root where I transcript all the rest and continually added.

There are parts that were written many years ago, like 20 years ago, almost as an adolescent, while without noticing it you've just switched to a part written a few months ago. These are not necessarily separated as paragraphs, I'm not very good at separating things to paragraphs, most of them have been separated after the text was written as a whole I could understand. When I write and know I'll have to implement or remove something, I separate the text with a weird key search word so I can find back the place more easily, then I just stitch it back as a whole and separate it as paragraphs. This root part has been saved more than 15000 times in somewhat 10 years (double that), that's what it took to untangle my vision of things, the puzzle in my head. You just wouldn't believe how complex, deep and long it was, and if I had recorded a backup of every save I've done, you'd have gotten the "making of" it. The beauty of it is that, like the genius effect of every chapter as they flowered, the end took a uniquely appropriate form too, as the root is composed of many forgotten or lost pieces of text, there was enough accumulation within 15 years to make a superb finish all open to uncertainty...

A "making of" that wouldn't include the few crashes, freezes, and the many power losses, something like 10, which I went through. All that is absolutely painful and terrible on motivation when you're "multitasking" on 3 chapters at the same time, and they have been a problem I can't skip mentioning; I permanently lost quite a few pages of text this way. However, nothing beats that moment when I ended up in the street and my thumb drive from which I've been working from on public computers got erased after 6 months of super intense work in the worst situation one can live through, I mean for a civil society, it's not like bombs are normally supposed to explode around writers, but I'm not far... I tried everything to recover my work to no avail, this was so hard on me that my mind just went numb, I think I could have killed that asshole, because they knew I worked exemplarily everyday continually more than 12 hours! It just the reign of assholes, sorry for me, stupid assholes ruin the life of great potential everyday all over the world... I was quickly back to work, to skip a depression, but you can bet that now I save my work to the cloud every day. What I learned from losing 3 months of work is that inspiration is a momentary thing; if you don't express it around the moment it happens you'll lose the best of it. I rewrote most of what I lost, but I never felt that I did it under its best form. That's not all, recuperating took me twice as long because I remembered things that I knew I did, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then there was the rage, it's like a revenge effect where I wanted so much to gain back all what I modified that I wasted far too much time making things perfect. Finally, it took me like a month to get out of the knock out effect from losing 3 months of imagination and inspiration, it's like my brain refused to be capable of thinking, in fact it jammed my whole emotional system too. I have had many bad lucks in my life, and I mean many, but this may have been the most painful psycho trauma I lived.

The kind of stuff I wrote about in this book is in the head of millions of people in the lower part of the pyramids, not a lot in the middle since they accepted the reality with their life, pushed by some luck, some skills and some interests that are more in harmony with the view of the reality, of pub too, implanted in youth too, they already have a house, dependents from businesses with "shaky" corners, they are spread ready on their perfect toxic lawn dreaming more and bigger, and of playing bigger golf probably too; their frustration and complaining is limited to facets or their ego or immediate entourage and they like life like that.

The other thing is that this reality's limitations makes it almost impossible for some people to express what they think as a global thing; they aint got money to express themselves well enough and it is all mixed to bits and expressed in wrong actions as everybody is divided on liberty. Psy will probably call it mental disorganization to stay polite and not call it a mental disorder, because it doesn't fit their mental order which is a limited, exploiting and PMBBD way of setting the mind, while for their "patients", exploring it would lead to conflict, depression, hate, frustration, drugs, violence etc.

You could see it as an expression of absolute frustration at living injustice generations after generations, and a way of saying the rich have expended all trust in a lot of people; they have proven they're not an example to follow, whatever they are saints that continually make good actions, people just have enough, some people, the rest can have more. A vast slab of the population will forever be poor in their best system, a lot will always starve, armies will forever kill at the tons, PMBBD will always mess the mind of masses, drugs will always poison people, love will always be desecrated; all the troubles that exist, all the crimes, they are there to stay because they're a market in a reality of competing profiteers. All these things are systemized and part of this "best system", there is big money one way or the other there, they are a market and you don't eliminate a market in the Democracy-Capitalism business.

Another process was the removing of bad roots. I called it the dump, and it is where I dumped a lot, and a lot, of stuff; it ended up as a 200 pages or something pile of it, containing some painfully discarded pieces of philosophies that almost made sense, some unacceptable theories, historical hate and plans to make space, things like that. But I destroyed it as it was meant to be.

It quickly became evident that I would never be able to transfer everything from the root to the seed. I was cumulating pieces of text, often extracted from the book, I didn't know what to do with; implement it? Reject it? Where? So it stuck as the root. In the end as I read it, I saw it more and more as a connection between the seed and reality. I continually tried to limit its base growth but it always grew; sometimes I'm going to do something when I get a flash of a simple phrase to add at some precise place, but don't have time or I'm too tired to search where. Then I'd come back never remembering where, even if I wrote the subject, or why I removed it, so the text stayed there and never found its place. What's left is somewhat what I didn't know what to do with. You can see a lot of it as bloopers, but I'm sure that if you wanted you could stitch and morph half of these pieces of text at precise places and you'd hardly notice they were written apart. But if I didn't put them in, it mean I may have deleted them.

This brings me to another effect, which is that almost all what I wrote had something to it, even the most crappy bouts, so deleting was super hard. Instead I'd pass far too much time trying to recuperate text, and doing so I'd expose or develop treasures and it will have a further effect on my mind too; it's like the ultimate puzzle of writing, transforming a bad piece of text into a critical paragraph, even pages when the work exposes an important concept. It's like the middle line thingy, where you have the main story that I wrote, around 1000 pages, the initial impulse, then from the other side is around 1000 pages of implementation, the nurturing.

There are other effects not related to the root too, there is the time stamp phenomenon, where I write a detail about a subject, and a few pages later, when I meet something related to it, some continuation gets written right there even if it doesn't fit the subject at hand, and I don't notice until much later when I find this weird part at the wrong place, and when I bring everything back together, there you go, a new important concept arises.

There's the key word phenomenon too; when I use a term to qualify something that happens to represent some far more important concept, like writing about global intelligence in a context where it just barely fits, more a feeling than anything, then a year later I write about global intelligence as a revelatory concept, ignoring that I already used the term at one place like the spark of it, but it kind of never got going because it conflicted another vision, or it was missing a facet of knowledge, and when I cross the initial word again I'm just stuck there flabbergasted that I almost missed a whole interrelated concept, while I was right on it in feeling.

Some would say I should not talk about these things to keep an advantage, like I should keep secrets, but keeping people ignorant is not part of my philosophy, those who want to take a quest like mine must be able to do it far easier that the original guy, if not there is no use to knowledge. Still, the tricks of my mind, or the way I see them, are a bit personal, but I tell you; don't be scared to look like a fool, be brave, learn to know your tricks, and you'll be rewarded with your own understanding. Even if you read all what I wrote as a basis or example, the vision you create from taking the same quest as me, or developing your understanding as you read, will reward your independent personality.

So, for those who haven't had enough, then you'll find this part interesting. I updated some text and added more recent things I could have "planted" in the text too, but don't forget that a lot of this was removed from the book, so don't tell me spilling some frustration against Microsoft for my word problems bring nothing much more to the book, I know, that's why I moved it back to the root section, along with the part where I write about my graphic card that failed while playing a game, then I go all the way to describe my fun with that game. I removed it because I went a little too far out, yet, there are many shorter parts like that all through the book that are meant to stay there.

Finally, when I didn't know where to start working, I threw a 10 faced dice to choose a chapter, giving me 2 options; either I worked on the shell, or the seed, depending if the dice fell on the uneven or even side. And that's the way I saw the form of the seed; as a 10 faced dice, the only dice where the inside decides the outside first and not the contrary, and where the inside is an association, not a single whole you can turn in any side, there is only 2 options for holding it, neither giving priority to the other, the middle line cycling between the two smoothly, to infinity. 2 different jewels held together, even numbers one side, uneven numbers the other.

I have chosen a black semitransparent one with sparkling things in it, when I hold it between my fingers, it's like I turn the universe. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but you can see the first 10 chapters (6 books) as sticking to what's inside while repelling what's outside, meaning that the faces are in harmony with what's inside "me" or the seed, while being in disharmony with what's outside or reality. You got 10 faces all interconnected, if you take one chapter in particular, it is connected to many others giving all kind of influences.

2000 pages is like way beyond what I ever thought I'd need, and I could have grown every chapter, like talking about the twisted uses misuse of life like I did with love...Like saying you like profiting from life, or experiencing life while you're experiencing living (as a human life-form), or saying life is unfair while it is not; it is just working within large parameters for many logical reasons (unless you prefer robots or clones). Fairness is a human aspect of life, it is our job to make things fair, to make the principle true. Systemized unfairness is a problem, not life, and it is definitively evil when pitted against the way life works. It's like thinking Big Bills cares about life because he made windows life, or car industrials are nice little dogs that make life vehicles, with dual cougars under the hood, because they don't understand, publicists calling life water their bottled microbes, or singers singing life love bullshit... But no serious offence so I didn't make a bad trip over it. Even the ego relation of saying "my life" like you own it is not bad because you can see it as doing your best with it, but we shouldn't throw it everywhere like we understand it as much as love, like we are in "love" with life and care for it while, like love, we are destroying it to nothingness, even ourselves, the greatest life-form. I suppose that like love, the BBMPD on life will increase the more we destroy it, everybody will sing life for profit, scientists, writers, politicians, publicists, the pope, a lot done by good nonviolent people like singers and writers. The truth may be more like the contrary, we are more interested in death; we build to destroy, to reach dust to dust as fast as possible...

So yes with a lot more time and motivation (who is motivated enough to do what I do already?) I could have made it better, but the important thing is that I fight to incapacitate reality at putting pressure on any facet of the shell, so in a sense I'm shelling ahead of time. Now, the main connection is not visual, it is spiritual, the unknown, life's heart, it is the inside of things, the 2 parts of the seed itself, the inside main connection of all the faces. One can be seen as the future, the external, making reality, while the other is in what it will grow, the terrain preparation, actual reality dealings, the soil its roots will grow in. So if you somewhat deduct well enough the reality's pressures on its faces, then you can somewhat have a view of the inside; it is open to you (that's why the creation of the life reality happened solely after I made the seed, and I wouldn't have succeeded at inventing it without doing it). Finally, if you can free the external faces by fighting reality's pressures, then it's the inside pressure that will take over, opening the shell in 2, for the most wonderful flower to start growing.

What would have been still better is that I better classify the subjects of every chapter earlier, that would have helped a retarded mind effect that is particularly evident when I'm well started, where my mind keep on adding after effect stuff for months. It's like I got a buffer of memory and while I continue doing other things, it is using some of my thinking capacity to unconsciously work from the buffer. It stores vague associations in another memory, and when there is too much I seems to understand the message, go back to write a few words and end up emptying a full bucket or work for a week modifying a whole chapter.

I didn't notice it at first as I was jumping through subjects like a rabbit, but it became more evident when I started drawing. The book had something like 700 pages at the time, and I was torn between writing and drawing, disassociated between subjects that had nothing to do with one another. While I was drawing, old subjects developed in my head and, as the complexity and number of pages increased, it became hell; it's like my main buffer was divided in a hundred little buffers, all full. I implemented some, emptied the rest in the root for later while I learned and developed my drawings. Then I'd go back writing for two months while my drawings somehow got totally modified in my mind unconsciously, ending up totally discouraged that I'd have to eventually redraw the whole thing.

Finally, the situation in reality that I lived as my work reached conclusion were a reflection of what I lived in my youth, replacing my parents with the government (system), everything worse, even my bloody dreams came back. I saw it as somewhat related my destiny and my mind seems to be at peace with it, but always with the same attitude; I understand, but I fight, as I always fought, and it's ok like that to me, still no depression there. The same for my work, I'm a reflection of my writings, in a sense I'm the seed, a seed planted in the earth (with a bundle of shit on the head), life grew through me, dirt and stinky stuff stuck, and so my beginning was quite an ugly sight, you wouldn't have wanted to see me germinating (my red book) but I grew, and when I saw the sun I flowered beautifully. In reality, each update was like a new phase; you wouldn't notice it in my writings, but it's all in the little detail, a word, a phrase. Let's say the first one was like the shit update, there was the sun update, the cloud update, the process update for a different name, and other quick updates I don't remember. Yet, with time this vision remained a bit unsatisfying because each revision in fact have been a traumatic experience to me, nothing to do with correcting mistakes, everything to do with a total transformation of everything by the implementation of many deeply interrelated concepts that arose from my "other" mind fermenting the previous revision, so every few years I would experience something like a metamorphose, then ensued the other hard part of having an effect on reality, which can only work in a helping environment, so understanding my inadequacy, and the wheel of change I was under, the solution was to become a monk, temporarily ideally, while developing the tools to stop the monk business and go back to social competence after actually flowering (some years after I get no more big revelatory concepts, then get noticed as a unique creation you'll never meet again...). In fact, I wrote this understanding right at the first revision.

The Flower update as I'm writing it, in fact, totally lives up to its name, it's like all along I've been making the roots and greenery, and now each chapter is taking revelatory form, literally extraordinary, they are all their own flower! And this should be the final one where the cycle will be completed if you care to reproduce it under the form of seeds that will end-up in people's hands; it is your turn to fight the ugly in you, I'm one, you are billions, together you can care for life and love enough to create a better terrain, and plant a flower in the name of life and love, but be careful around those thorns, I didn't make them for nothing...

So here's the root, just remember it's in the soil, reality, there's dirty stuff in there, but it's where the flower germinated and grew, with me as the drive of its creation (water, sun). Not all what's in the soil is used, evidently, and not all nutrients end-up taken up by the roots, while forming the appropriate molecules (pieces of text) is an ongoing process. Then there are bits that never found a place, other bits were inappropriate. the root stayed there, it's part of the flower, it can help develop it still more, while give you an idea of the kind of stuff that sometimes germinate in my mind.

Our job

Humans are the ultimate life investment, and they have one simple job to do; protect and help life survive at all costs, that's why they are at the top, that's why they can live that much comfortably, that's why they can have that many pleasures, but they are failing lamentably since life is getting extinct all over the place and this is due to high consciousness life not only not doing its job adequately.

Scared parents

Again one of those moronic parents who are scared of people like me, like I'm some kind of predator that's gonna rape their children (I've moved a good 10 times in my life, and those parents who feel they have to protect their kids from seeing me (different from not talking to strangers, it's a matter of "seeing", like seeing me is bad for their kid vision, but parading their kids through half nude homosexual and pedophile scrotums, that's where the good stuff is...) people like me?, Evil! Brain! Psychopath! Or part of some evil gang ready to rape families! Something like that. This moronic Hollywood attitude doesn't help my life for sure and will lead their kids in all kind of party places where there are no people like me for sure (not that I want their kids around, very not much thank you...), the farthest away they can be from the sanest person around they'll run. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but whatever the quantity of police and killers shows they watch, they're always as gullible and flabbergasted about how things went all wrong, as they cry about how much the victims are saints and brandish their best pictures...But I'm bad, and I guess it's normal that all those saints and angelic innocents end-up suffering in hell, it's not really their place...It's even true, I find it so painful to see people with the best heart struggle to end-up reaping the worst whatever the effort, seriously, don't think I'm insensitive, I'm exactly the contrary, it's just that my mind roam the whole spectrum, and sensitive and caring people unconsciously defending evil or making hell more invincible place need to wake-up too.

Open travelers

Most of those who travel a lot, yes you, I just had to make a special for travel people, they're so special and open and they know so much about the world... And yes I like to travel as much as anybody, but some of the most closed minded people I've met were travelers, and they think they are open minded because media people pushing the travel industry developed the bullshit to the status of fact. And it's gone far enough that they are like given intrinsic respect and an invisible medal to bear pride, and that applies to the plane travelers (I'm not talking for business) as much as the English local traveler that want to see how frogs fight, so let's travel to Quebec city and show those retards that travelers know a lot more about racism...(a bit of frustration from some past experience here...) and yes you can invent a scientific test that will prove travelers got a more open mind, but you'll prove it versus your reality's view of things; I'll make a test that proves that travelers got a more closed mind in fact, just more tolerating to reality by seeing the different details of the bars imprisoning their mind...That applies to people who need to run around the world to grow themselves a sensitivity to misery, or an international social paradigm of human contact...

Trust the fuck

As for my skepticism, if you read my previous chapters (books) then you know that it knows no boundaries, I trust nobody in this reality, everybody starts at 0, and from that you may gain credibility. I know there are many people who don't try to manipulate or lie, I respect them, but they are often just the carriers and defenders of the manipulations and lies of other people, like religious people. I have a powerful imagination, I can invent stories with as much credibility as the most advanced theories, I can find missing factors in a lot of scientific methodology and, as I already mentioned, I prefer to believe in what I can invent if it got no logical holes, since I know who I am and what I strive for.

They say that people should trust if they are to be trusted, but that doesn't hold fart, the truth is that someone who can't be trusted can't be trusted that's all! And if no one can be trusted as a reflection of their actions or mentality, then so be it, nothing to do with yourself if your own actions are trustworthy. The truth is that people I don't like should not trust me, and people I like should trust me, and finally, trust is better gained than given freely to anybody. I will never trust a thief (whatever the form), and you will never make me feel bad for it, trusting blindly goes hand in hand with human degeneration, evil, self-accepted slavery, etc.

The same for judgment, after growing a third brain as a bullshit decortication machine, with heavy prediction algorithms developed from cumulated experience, I have come to dump the whole justice and judgment system, to the point of simply discarding almost all judgment from any member of this reality as fundamentally flawed; you start a 0 with me, which is good for my candor.

Just lucky I refuse to compare people to animals or insects, because your number compares to insects and you act like insects (I know you make babies, you work hard, make big bridges, but beavers do all that too! They make dams that are as interesting to me, there is insect ingenuity that could put your mathematics to shame. If you had made a good reality you would be more valuable to me, that's all, and I'm still not happy to be the one stuck to play into the detail finding out why you failed; you're not happy of my findings? You made a mess of the earth by your attitudes and condemned solar life to extinction then criticize the ones that did what you refused to do out of the most insignificant fear? Get out of my face! something got to be done, and a human mind got to do it, look at itself and its peers so as to give life a chance (yeah, a shame it sounds like that bullshit song...) You don't want to be an insect or an animal? Then do your job within the solar system, do what all life of the solar system worked for billions years to accomplish, do your part, do what life can't do without you (it's not getting a job or reproducing and bitching, but it does include having tons of fun, it's just that hell's gremlins don't need to know...)

Let's say

Let's say that if I shut-up and ignore my thinking, and continue to work against myself by encouraging the bosses and their selection with respect, then solar life disappears, so what is my choice? I'm life, I'm feeling, I'm thinking, and I must tell my opinion to serve life (myself too...), I must explain my revolt both ways, within myself as integrity through life system (unconscious profundity) and in a way that can be understood by the life who got direct acting potential (people, consciousness).

Powerless

When the sheep have fun as they walk toward the precipice, when they believe they are good and sane while they push each other, when their judgment is so wrong that they inflate their competitive ego when they most need humility, then the last little power of the man of wisdom is gone, you can only sit and watch, for you have become the most worthless and powerless of all, everybody is better than you even if you attained perfection, being yourself is finding hell on earth, and you're the only one to blame. And even though you feel invincible with your strength, your mind, your feelings, your integrity, you're just a ghost, intangible, unless you want to get destroyed by the pathetic and predictable

Optimism

A willingness (we media people want you to) to wander into crowds, engage on social media, and generally remain cheerful, do politics where people are competitors, not enemies... Obama should fit. What is this competitive people bullshit? Media people make political speeches now? Then you'll say they don't manipulate? It actually looks like they are telling government and people how to act so they fit their developing standard for humanity, all the way to how politicians should behave to succeed in their visionary ideal mundial Montreal... And it's more and more blatant, in my corner they actually dictate peoples comportment with all kind of indirect twisted phrases, media people should get a severe beating so they stop playing gods like Christianity, because me, the most important entity that needs a lesson are media institutions, just so they remember that liberty works both way and there is a reason for everything, including fists...

Gremlins are happier after a good dose of bullshit

Figure it out

You can figure out all what's necessary to be one of the best life of the universe when there are millions of different life developments that will succeed (good enough to escape dust to dust, or to survive all what the universe throws at us.) But all that is automated, high consciousness like us come and go everywhere on automatic, mostly crushed by entropy (evil) nothing special with our imbecility, we'll be worth a look when we'll jump from one sun to the other, if we survive every challenges in the way...

Unconscious racism

It's just a theory, unconscious feelings may be more powerful than we think, maybe we know unconsciously what is the true source of our wrongdoings, and when we are powerless to express it, it just drive us to actions which may not be the best for us or others. That may ultimately lead to fights, even wars, as the popping of the unconscious bubble; it's just that the result of wars is very rarely satisfactory and more often than not it's more frustration, more condemnations, more injustice, and you got to take into consideration that the initiating bad feeling of a population is often the result of a wrong war, like the English people are so fond of doing... but maybe I'm racist, maybe all wars were initiated for bad reasons, and the result will waste humanity in all kind of displaced ways resulting from ignored unconscious conflict taking the form of fakeness superficiality and wrong mentalities. Maybe we should have built a culture of fairness from the beginning, instead of a culture of cheating competition...

As for the Hitler legacy, I believe the whole world has been wronged by media propaganda, I'm sure Bonaparte was no better on the barbarism aspect of things (a lot is always the result of generals upping the ante in the competition of leadership, don't forget...), epoch so probably there are very few countries that took a fair or good attitude with Germany, and while looking at some footage can make one emotional, just don't forget that what ended the war was not killing Hitler, it was killing the biggest mass of humans in a single blast...

War

And since we're talking civilization frustrations here, we will have to deal with those elements that will just profit from the new cake (troubles), since that may lead to global war if we don't control the situation; what will you do against rampaging rapist and killers without sense? Give them the world? Let their babies be born? No sir, you'll have to change the whole failed philosophy while evil reaps death. Prisons are already full and a big part of the population is already minimally worth a big time working cheap reimbursing their hidden negative. Nobody on this earth should have the right to live freely if he raped anyway, even if it is done by psy manipulations or drugs like alcohol, or pedophilia.

Freedom

The same "step" view can apply to liberty, you got some liberties concerning your own person, you got limitations to your liberties when you are in couple, more limitations as a family or at mass level. You can have the same view concerning independence, which is related to liberty. What dictates everything are principles, they are the pillars that hold the whole kit together.

Survival

Presently you only have to survive and that's still what science teaches, but surviving may take great proportions and different forms so we'll have to do better to pass this step. Yes we survived, but now we're a risk to ourselves and life; being a suicidal species is not good on the survival principle you know, we've got to extend our vision and we will do it as we've survived. The present way is the survival-ego way, but now that science is happy and that we've exaggeratedly survived, we have to do more of what separates us from animals; gain understanding, consciousness and change reality, which we've always been doing, but at some point you really start to understand how things could be different, particularly if you start from nothing.

Fun or what

I want to understand the world when I'm young, then feel I contribute to the advancement of life when I'm adult, beyond that is sane pleasure, and there is never enough time for that, unless you've contorted your psych to confound pleasure with high society self-inflation philosophy...But priorities are priorities, and at the moment and in the current situation my immediate responsibility is to remake reality. And sorry for my attitude, leadership is needed, you have politicians to manipulate you with pretty words, the leadership necessary for my job doesn't have vacancy for such frivolities, it's time to march, you march or you die.

Life worshipping

But instead of listening to life, fighting evil, and worshipping that on which we stand, we made a godhood high party, defending and helping evil create hell in systemized unfairness, and we made our path invincible with tons of ridiculous and twisted condemnations. We have never been grounded enough to life, and religious indoctrination institutions are in big part responsible.

We have no life spirituality, no life worshipping structures, no people passing their lives grounded to it, (praying, experimenting, and making ceremonies of different kind...). We don't even have a single bit of these things while religions got a million for nothing good except adapting indoctrination, if you can call that a positive thing, and it serves to skip battling true evil. They profit from this life spirituality facet or that to make people tolerate and adapt to evil. Maybe after 10 000 years of worshipping life and seeking its understanding, building cathedrals and inventing prayers and ceremonies, some would be capable of understanding some of its strongest messages. But I'm not talking about tree hugging cults with the classic tribe fucking guru here, those are traitor to life and follow the same ego god (s) ideology as religions.

Power

We started with DC, then AC, the same with atomics that are becoming worthless, far more effective mass killing devices are produced, and the next step is the crack earth thing, with cataclysm starting devices and insect-microbial warfare, or hidden crop limitations or wrong development, environmental messing weapons, etc. You think global warming is messing up the climate? Just wait when they will create drought, floods and storms on purpose, and since everything is interrelated, it is the whole world that will pay for it, all what we developed from stability of climate will take the toilet because war is too fun, power in the hands of inadequate judgment, and it will never end since you democratically vote for it, while things are getting better. They can consider far more long term hypocrite scenarios now, and many have already been launched and successful in my opinion.

As for steps of power, that applies to the mind and communication too, and there is nothing to stop high consciousness making inventions, and gaining power, it is only a question of time.

Good people

No emotive bullshit here, emotions don't make you a good person, you can cry or jump in the arm of your friends, it means nothing to me, maybe 2 pedophiles happy to see each other, and some bystanders will profit from the opportunity to call it "love", which have nothing to do with 2 people happy to see each other, go back a few chapters if love spills out of you everywhere...

I'm not you

And don't think I should have a good opinion of this reality if I feel like that, and if you think that my opinions should give you the right to destroy my personal life by whatever manipulative mean, just know you'll have to reach philosophical and spiritual independence too, that's a lot of profound believing to do, and a lot of de-bullshitting and introspection to do too. In fact, nobody is adequate to read my work, current mentalities should make you fall in denial all over the place, so don't think you have the competence to judge it, thus me, in fact, this reality has absurdly failed in all the instances it tried to do it, failed, so don't think yourself too hot with your psy stuff, reach philosophical and spiritual independence kid...

I should even say that my judgment have far more value than anybody on this fucking planet, or at least as much value as any government, be him a dictator or businessman, who have the right to kill people en masses from whatever funky yé-yé argument. Me too, I developed a far more advanced and complete argumentation to kill masses of people, ok? And sorry for you, my opinion is as valuable as any president, minimally, very minimally. And I know they are not dictators, but who got the means make the world in their image. And don't think your gremlins can be an argument since you had all human history to adjust things to destroy any arguments and make of everybody a defender of your view while you adjusted yourself over time, made yourself a benevolent coat, and interdicted the tool you used to reach your hegemony.

The only entity that has the right to dictate my comportment is the direct judgment of people concerned; not a chosen boss or gang that supposedly represent the population, in the best scenario where they have a pitful (dog) look (an eventual genetic development among rich politician families representing populations, it's the same inversed anti life crap that's supposed to backfire in the face of any religion; you thought you were gods, the population made you dogs, because they're gods too, it comes with the ideology...)

Under control

I don't know how I can be less certain so I tag a lot of stuff as possibilities, to keep the door open, but everything is interrelated, everything is justified, it flow through me like a river (bottom to top, it's like reality is a hard wall that I absorb and transform as it passes through me), I feel invincible and I want to smite!

Maybe I'm too big, "magical" forces are involved in limiting my power to nothing for survival. I know there are forces that helped my non-ego feel more comfortable on this rock too, be them human or celestial, but I'm not able to identify any perpetrator, so I let them take the form of my imagination. Sometimes I feel like I'm a competition, I'm loved even in hate, I'm victorious from long ago by intensity, and the choices I make just cumulate love type feelings like compassion, from a celestial mother that would very much like to steer me away from troublesome opinions, and a father that would very much like to see me as a reflection of his wisdom. It's a shame the type of parenthood adequate to me doesn't seem to exist in this reality, but I sure feel like all the aspects are there. I will thank you all for appreciating me, down to earth human who used my work to form their soul as much as all the entities that sure know how to not interfere with my life... I often wish you all enjoy me, as I go to sleep and pray silently, describing some thinking, without requesting, to end my day with a smile, or a tear, I attained my goal, I took my responsibility, do your part now, you think I'm god and I should force you? Or do everything while I only live 100 years? That I should descend from the sky as a final product invincible and without needs? Completely impervious to all the problems of this reality? While half my time is passed fighting to keep integrity? Sorry, but whatever my spirituality, I'm still a fraction of humanity, so do your part.

Like me

Still want to be a part of my gang of loonies? Start judging your experience of reality, and judging means having arguments to confirm your conclusions, like I do continually in my work, fun or happy or nice or cool or soothing brainless arguments get 0 points.

Possibilities

Then there's my undefined problem in the head that gets me on reject or battle mode as soon as I see self-intelligent people making final affirmation about their religious or scientific beliefs, while I can deduct or invent as valid in my insignificance, or expand, even if I'm not always right. And yes I'm under social assistance and can't compete their image spendings or costly research that too often ends-up wrong, after 50 years...

HARRP

That would explain the persistence of the grey sky lately, which I like thank you, not too much rain, fresh, about 30% big sun, thank you, this may the most attractive summer the planet presented me, it's a shame, it hurts my feelings, for so many reasons, someday I'll make a ceremony.

(I know psy got wave and lightning and weight effects in their big nomenclature)

Revolution

The way this green revolution of let's make a smarter planet has started, it is developing as a load of PMBBD. Looks like the rich are preparing a collection of arguments to point fingers at others, prevention, with philanthropy at the forefront, while making a profit at the same time, why not? Can't miss such an opportunity!

I may be generalizing a little, but I wouldn't trust industrials to make things green without an afterthought for profits. If you try to force something else in their brain they'll only precipitate things unconsciously; even the truly good intentioned among them can hardly work with efficiency. And if things go very wrong they'll crash their best system hypocritically. As for the pressure selection, which they'll call Darwin's natural selection, it is systemized interdependent so no hope there. The rich want to say the human is like that so it fits in a recipe book for profits, psychological or scientific, finalizing their choice of what we should be and fitting their reality to the point that nobody can appreciate what is true and good and fight for it, for the future, while they all think they are good and changing things.

As for those of the selection who protest, most will say they want big changes, for the future or their indebted children they'll boast, but they won't truly fight or sacrifice for it because most want money, or jobs, they want more, or no increase in taxes, which can be understandable if things are unfair and they were in a good system, but fighting the fundamental system that is the true source of their problems seems to be out of the question. Maybe they should develop a better philosophy than wanting to make hell a good place to be, or at least not demolish those who can develop the argumentation to finally free them from a manipulative systematization for profiting from absolutely all aspects of life. You'd drop present hard working people in a paradise that is just missing the name and they'd complain because it is not based on the ego competition philosophy. Better not ask them to help build it or they'll pass their time comparing and lamenting while it get built that things were so better in ego reality that did not end because a change of attitude was enforced. And don't think they'll battle for it, they'd get hurt and cry like babies, that's why they protest peacefully, not because they are benevolent, but because they are scared shitless to truly fight, they don't want to be hurt, or to go to prison, or lose what they gained with the effort of their life. And I understand, I'm not much better, and politicians understand very well too, that's exactly what they want, what else? You think they prefer violence? No, they're scared of it too, even if they took the monopoly of it. Yet, one day we'll understand that we should have fought for a better way because it will be too late with evidences which we won't be able to ignore. And we'll suffer and regret, both physically and psychologically, it will be worst than any depression because we'll be condemned to rot until extinction, surrounded by religious messages.

I guess ego reality must cause the end of hope before a true will arise for a different way, if you want total irony. As for the well adapted selection of believers and defenders of systemized unfairness, I guess they need to make and visit the deepness of hell to understand something is wrong, since they are good, and the system is the best, and it is never too late, with such a philosophy, the end will be the end and that's all.

At least I won't be the evil one, I never encouraged this reality, I fought against it with the only tool it left me that wouldn't end as a guaranteed waste, I even invented a new reality, and more. People don't truly want a different and better world? Then too bad, I have chosen a different side and attitude, but even if I believe mass troubles are coming, my arguments are only that for now; encouragements and arguments to take a different path, peacefully if that's possible but I'm not an imbecile.

And it is not inferior races or people who are the problem, it is the superior people, or those who think the earth and life exist for profiting, or for the "economy", ego people and their gangs, whatever the cost of the green mask some of them wear. Their attitude will just disgust humanity of nature still more by twisting the green revolution for profits, all of them smart asses fighting on television and internet over who wear the greenest mask of change to save the earth; they just profit from a occasion, like they did with love and every good thing, they see an opportunity for profit, security, nature, even people's frustration.

Peaceful begging

I could simply ask this world to control its sex banalization, but they'll make pools "proving scientifically" that people have less sex, due to individualism...but yes, the poorer the less sex, and poolers don't pool the rich and prostitutes...

Forever young

I guess that when they'll get wrinkled from their entertainment and sex trips, after leading this world to happiness hype final craziness, they'll put the fault on people like me, those that never embarked in their collective orgasm, we broke their forever young party, and they'll be old and ugly because of it...

Condemned

How can things get better if we are condemned to a permanent closed system dependent from a continual and always more expensive production of PMBBD to compete the continually displaced revolt of people tolerating, compassionating, adapting and pardoning so much it become an inability to think and act well and good in global association, to the point that a lot of people don't want to develop globally anymore, forcing a continual displacement of responsibility, like it's a hot potato.

Low end doctors

I should not to go to see a doctor serving my type, too much risk for the competence. I talk about my personal experience as a socially assisted in the best health care system of the world; I wonder what kind of service the rest of the world get if this is the best...But I won't skip saying that it is business as usual to me, I attract troubles, so stay away from me, good doctor, don't take blood samples or you'll make a fiasco.

My girl

It's important that I don't light a cigar, please, where's my girl? In the name of love I won't slap in another magazine, even if I'm not reachable anymore. And sorry for myself if I'll scare them all, this book is an invalidating pressure, I'm not sure I would want my love to know I wrote it... I would want to fall in love with a... woman from heavens? I may be mistaken, a...I don't know. It's an attitude thing, and I wouldn't want my dislike of this reality to pain my love, I would want her to think I'm just doing my best while helping each other living, some harder moments, but surely not a never ending battle to change the world. "Never ending" is the word, I can battle my part, and then I'd happily concentrate on love and more enjoyable thing.

Nothing new

For all the good stuff I write, I'm sure there will be a profiteer to find a scrap bit of something to prove I invented nothing, like an argument to discredit my imagination or the possibility for a better way, or someone will get out with proofs that he thought about it before me for competition. The ugly stuff will remain mine though, manipulators are like that, worse, my negative feelings will probably be used to demonize me and make the system still more invincible, since hating this reality will become illegal the way things are going. I'm exaggerating, but expressing violent emotions is truly becoming illegal, if not, psy are be happy to make it a mental malady... Demonizing people who express violent emotions at the right source with justification is and will always be a crime against humanity, worse than that, we'll disappear if we stop expressing hate, it is as important as love, eliminate hate and you'll get a civilization of depressive weakling's susceptibilities that will cry at everything or suicide, is that what we want?

Important words

People of this reality don't care about what is most important, and I can be as harsh as I want because there's nothing to make people react correctly anymore, because that doesn't fit their view or best system, the selection is divided to a million gangs while thinking themselves international and evolved and modern because they got a social network and a gadgets. It's worthless, the selection always tell its opinion, it is their reality, they vote, the system is the best for them, while they're still divided for bitching and competition of who will get attention or means next, they even have a day every years in turn. I could almost say they are robots with a programming of emotions defined by their ego limitations and indoctrinations. So, what effect such words have on you? Nothing, nothing, and nothing, maybe some will try to sue me for a hate crime though... It has become impossible to get people moving for something else, diplomacy, insults, logic, argumentation, it enter one hear and exit the other. Most people "love" life the way they have it, we must leave them in peace with their problems, like for them life is some kind of depression to fight with acceptance and fun, as they doom humanity, bringing everybody along with their liberties. What can you do? Nothing, nothing, nothing, Ah! get a job, get a job, get a job, that's what separate good and bad for most; a job.

Pardon me

And that's particularly true of religious people, sorry, but everybody related to a religion or sect have been had. For now my opinion is that they caused too much damage to say they are a good institution, and past a certain point, "pardon" become very insignificant as a possible notion, particularly when you twisted that "pardon" principle like all others through history, like love, peace, compassion, tolerance, everything touched by a religion lose its true meaning to become rubber tools.

Maybe you should add a chapter to your bible describing all what you did in history to gain supremacy, holy wars, number of churches, the story of all those people that got massacred, assimilated or perverted by the god ideology, priest perversions, all the related effects of your "spirituality", all of them, instead of manipulating yourself a saint's façade; we like truth around here. Religions have been the cause of half the problems of humanity, a lot from the desecration of most principles too, as they made themselves a publicity of saints and good and wise.

And don't say a word about the life reality, you had ego reality planetary wide to make a mess, leave us out of your wisdom. The same for my life, don't attack me (they actually did recently), I'm a little imbecile living in a rat's hole, my life is already sacrificed, so don't come at me for nothing, too late, I'm done, I'm already a ghost, and what do you want to do? Destroy me or my work? If you like to be responsible for the greatest sins...Take my work, read it and learn humility, I didn't write it for nothing, change your ways instead of worsening everything still more by defending your hell and seeking vengeance on people who really try to get out of it, and take the responsibility of your true relations and effects.

And I'm just blasting my own religious susceptibilities, Catholicism, the Arab big competition is probably no better, another pacification story meant to protect the ego god ideology, developed with the help of the rich too, and made sacred evidently. Me too I want governments to help and defend me, make my work sacred, ok? Why not? I'm bad? God is not dictating my writing? Predictable, but I'll never read something that make tools of people, never read a single line however sage you made it; you lost me right at the start, future very painful failure is a guarantee. I'm the one that should have the right to destroy any institutions breaking life and the human.

But I shouldn't worry, they won't accept competition to their ideology in their inconsistent competitive mentality, so they'll surely invalidate every one of my arguments with a scientifically proven thing, yes, religions got scientists now, got to keep-up with the competition, miracles got to be proven these days, and a babbling scientist is a proof in their reality, but I'm bad, and they're good. Thou shalt not lie you know! Particularly to masses! So go ahead, tell the truth, what are you waiting for? The end of the world? Too good for that I guess. And good sect gangs too, we want to know the evil behind! We want to know how many stupid women the good guru fucked in its "loving" and futuristic spiritual vision of wellbeing, richness and luxury, yeah, we want to know that! But you'll PMBBD them to suicide instead, ending your super intelligent ego power-trip as a busted (look at synonyms) erection, and people are passively awaiting the show, in their acceptance, tolerance and "peace". I'm going a little overboard, but that's about it.

Systematization of self-driven slaves.

We're talking reaction to bullshit, and since many reactions can yield the same result, and since the reality is developed to hypocritically keep a high level of conflict, division and competition, and since there is a risk these things turn against the systematization itself, then let's create the situation where any, even contrary, belief or philosophy never hurt the systematization, or better, always help or encourage it, let's use the basic way a mind work and turn it against itself by destroying the bound "between" unconsciousness (more instinct related) and consciousness, break it in conflict with a language that can mean anything, make a mess of the mind with a mess of a language then encourage an ideology that will either keep it that way, or supplement it. As you can see, this reality's covers all option to canalize all activity toward the ego (god) ideology, no way out of it, you can believe any bullshit as long as you pay taxes, or you can reject any bullshit as long as you pay taxes, it changes nothing and the reality doesn't care as long as you pay your taxes and don't stir troubles; you should be replaced by robots, and that's the goal of the pressure selection and psy and religious mind standardization.

Hateful update

I could have decided, since all of you assholes will refuse to do something, that instead of taking the diplomatic path and licking everybody's ass, to take the violence path, make your worst nightmare of a book, one that will destroy bullshit so hard people will blow-up with it! Your bullshit profession, boom! Your defensive arguments? Boom! All the members of your profession who sing freedom of expression? Boom! And sorry for you if you're too incompetent at communication or too stuck in your bullshit competition to have the time or ability to read my work.

I'm hard

Now, I know I'm hard with what I don't like (like this reality), but I shouldn't care about that anymore, describing the wrongs of this reality has never been my priority, and someday you just tire of fighting ghosts, or you understand that you're wrong, or you don't want to go insane. So I'll prefer to emphasis the final aspect of my work, the life reality, my goal when I started justifying its creation. So don't feel forced to insult me, I've heard them all, and they won't change my opinions, even if in a sense I reap what I sowed. I'm sure there's nobody on earth ever caught a more intense Cassandra syndrome than me...

Earth flat

They probably collected that one from an old drawing they spotted on their quest for the perfect submission story, which showed the relation between sun, plants, and for soil, which was a flat square or a flat line, then they ran home all excited to have discovered the earth is flat from some old Mayan failed civilization, and then gods said, thou shalt not...no, the earth is flat, god say so. And people ate the idea like Christ's chips, even if those are white, flat and kind of bland, whatever the pub and hype...Like their view of marriage, as a condemnation to the flat prison tumbling in space.

Aliens

Yes, there may be infinitively more advanced beings to us but they probably won't be manifestations of self-inflation, more like manifestation of life emancipation, and they would not, as a society, thrive through the skills of a single person, they do it in multiplicity.

Disconnected

I could say that today the human sense (as in a sense of life) is contorted by PMBBD in a conflicting state with the initial unconscious (life systems through the reproduction process), meaning that any serious extrapolation of today's "humanness" through talking, or communicating worthless, ends-up in conflict or competition with logical laws of life's evolution.

Fuck-you...

It's like "you suck", as a French person, such an expression would cause chaos around here, but in English it is ok, maybe because they twisted it for so long it's become nothing...but it's always something, what you don't think consciously, your unconscious is thinking about it, and it is saying "you suck man!"

Profiteers are the first in the cake, anything good or new is theirs to desecrate and make scrap with, while good people are left with the responsibility to deal with the mess and take the evil role (not fun aspect of things so we can grow a bad reputation for it...).

Probably people care about their god proportionally to the amount of praying they do...

Wonderful dance of steps, because you know, everything is music...

And they'll run away with the gold and jewels and tech, that way we'll be the last standing!

Because in the end, as I already mentioned, everything is a matter of vision, new visions open new possibilities and help decide old ones. I have a vision and I share it emotionally, in all kind of unnoticeable ways, through all kind of eyes, and the best is my completion too in the wonderful schema of things...

A different reality needs a different attitude in everything, differences that will evidently enter in conflict with many of ego reality's way, and hate is mostly based on conflicting differences, so no way out of it.

What counts is association of minds, and that applies to my judgment that is tremendously limited, but an interstellar well associated human civilization striving to do its best would be a sight.

House on an iceberg

The exact contrary attitude we must have, if I build my house on an iceberg, I'm responsible if it sinks, but not if I'm forced or manipulated to build it there. If the reality enforces a way of thinking through PMBBD, are people responsible if they become a reflection of it? Since everything is made from human attitudes, then I must say people have a responsibility somewhere, so let's say 50-50

Life spirituality

And don't make Hollywood movies anymore with the spiritual views of life as you make movies with the spiritual view of ego, spiritual is spiritual, don't impose a final truth. Life is communication and interrelation at the smallest level of particles all the way to universes, it is mathematics, logic, principles, it is forces and matter relations and more. It is not a computer or an alien or a tree or a medusa or a brain or a ghost. We should better watch what this industry suggests in the mind of people, it twists as much as it creates, we got this tendency to judge thing mainly for their wow factor, or from the opinion of T.V. people.

Life communication

I'm overestimating humanity a lot here, we understand nothing, we are reacting all impressed by the result of our own evident actions. So in this reality, number crunching power, and information circulation, is in the hands of rich people at the top of their pyramid that profit from it, like goggle and Microsoft, setting their level of liberty for profiting by paying experts of public relations and by making limited pools to know where their target are in "their" mental "evolution", which they try steering their way, like technology, like entertainment, like science, like the medias and more.

Publicity

And when they use "normal" people, they're eating bad food or doing or saying stupidities, you immediately know they are "normal" people, and if those are "normal" people and my other example are the image manipulations we make, then I say

Cancer

(missing parts and not well reassembled chromosomes, or bad basis in most cases, limitations in others (no dinosaur from a single cell...) there are many "initial" cells, they're like backups copied many times, most cells have properties that interdict them to carry or read or transmit information, they have parameters and limits, they can't be good at everything, and so they are specialized or made vastly more efficient at one thing the cost of complexity. Now, a skin cell that dies from an uv ray can be replaced at that precise spot (the amount of (precise) information that circulates through a body is vast and science can only detect some of it from hints...), if the base cell gets corrupt it will place a "bad" copy at the communicated spot that will be problematic to a life system since it breaks a life law. You'll get a battleground to fight it, creating inflammation and the death of more skin cells that may have a chance at growing from the corrupt base cell,. Evidently, as always with my views of life, it is an imaginary view, life systems are made of laws defending logics of things, so what science will see is the logic, and don't worry; it is logic. That's one way to cancer 01 for you, back to my subject now).

Philosopher failure

Is your philosophy full of conflicts? Is your imagination deep and global enough? Maybe you're too sweet smooth, have you ever killed some big living thing by principle, like a sick pet, or get hungry enough to kill? Did you ever imagine violence in detail? Think of it before sleeping? Violence is part of being human you know. I like emotive people that steer their explosion at the right source, even if they can look or act crazy. Can you spit some insults out of rage? Insults are a proof that you're not worth reading? You're inhuman? I bet people can very well remember the last time someone has been hard with them, and the effect lasted quite a long time. Now I see some of you coming, you're such ego losers that you do it to people who are the lowest denominators of a problem in your life, well, it doesn't work like that except in hell...

Too many phrases mistake

(You may find this long piece of text kind of boring)

And thanks to this reality that can't provide me with a good word processor at a reasonable price, since I can't use the auto save feature because I'm writing this from a word 2003 that have been transformed to a "Nintendo" word processor or something, then transformed back to a computer word processor and made French so I can have it less expensively.

But I understood why it was cheaper as the auto save feature scrapped pieces of text! And that's apart from the force save on exit that start happening after a few months if I don't reinstall. It took me a lot of time to find the problem, I formatted the whole computer at one time, all to no avail. I eventually disabled most features and it stopped, but other troubles happened with time. As for power losses I can tell you they got me raging a few times, and I'm not supposed to be forced to buy power bars on lithium batteries, encouraging production and pollution, these things are expensive and end-up as very polluting garbage after a few years, and when I pay for a program, particularly one that enrich an ego profiteer hegemony, I'm supposed to get the features functioning, particularly the most basic ones!

But sorry, I'm poor, I must buy used pieces to make a computer, I buy dysfunctional copied programs as a criminal, and I do with it when I get a bug, no internet to get patches and updates. The last time things crashed, it was some of the motherboard condensers that busted and instead of dumping the thing and buying a "new" one, I replaced a few condensers; it cost me 2$. The same happens with flat screens; when they can't light up, or simply work, anymore, it may be worth it to simply replace the bigger condensers in it, particularly if you got power instabilities, I think, even if it will cost you 5$ and you'll risk destroying the screen because they make them impossible to open, that way they end-up in the garbage instead of being repaired I suppose. This condenser thing is becoming a malady, many times I repaired electronics by replacing those, so much I sometimes wonder if this in not all an associated scheme from those industries to limit the lifetime of electronics for more profits, since for all the ones I replaced, there was enough space to place slightly bigger condensers of higher quality, and they never busted again.

Probably not, it's just me that use things for too long, you know I want computers that last more than 15 years for the life reality, and not much of today's electronic would last that long. The same for power buttons for screens; plant a breaker if you can't provide me a button that works a few years... And don't think most fuses exist to protect you; they exist to protect power corporations, it must be lifetime or you that break things, and you pay for insurances too...I saved many expensive pieces of electronics that way, and their associated exploitation of resources, pollution and associated human life energy investment; just think of the weight of this waste around the world! And who is most responsible? Low quality, and power corporations that are incompetent with power do their part too since they can't provide it straight and skip the power losses, often done on purpose without a warning. Condensers are often a step of the "straitening" of power; they take the grossly made power getting out of diodes or other things, and make it more sweet, little continually charging and discharging batteries, and they got a level of tolerance to power extremes written on them, and when you go too often or too long beyond these values, they bust and you dump the piece of electronic. And don't tell me that electronics don't scrap that often, do you use your stuff 10 years in a row intensively? I do, my computer is running 12 hours a day, I need it and I use it intensively, even if a word processor and windows that work without failing every corner seems too much to ask, and yes it is the best, but the best doesn't mean it's good enough.

As for electronics, I know I'm exaggerating, most people got good intents, yet the result is there; electronic lasts far less time than before, except mine, and my trick is those condensers. But it is definitively not my responsibility to get an education so I can pass my time soldering them everywhere, and neither is it my fun to go to a supposedly professional electronic repairer to either realize they are incompetent, or be charged 150$ for repairs I can do for a few bucks. Do you understand the stupidity of the whole situation? Will we be forced to teach electronics to children so they can do the job of a whole interdependent world of profiting incompetence? But yes we shall do that in our reality, not at a high level, but since we are overwhelmed in electronic it is important that everybody understands the fundamentals of it in youth as a basis, just the simple stuff, how a transistor works, a resistor, or what current, voltages, wattage, means, things like that. I don't understand what's wrong with learning that, and it is easier and more fun than many other things to learn, and it goes toward creating versatile people that can deal more easily with many facets of reality, it's in the optic that they have that "touching" of many thing in youth, so later they have a better idea of the specializations they'll want to develop. But enough, and by the way; don't think I know electronics that much, I'm the incompetent one, but I'm not supposed to feel more competent than expensive professionals.

This word processor is going nuts, "accidents", bugs, missing phrases and holes in text I read trice before planting, and I don't understand why such things are not free, and why people absolutely want to make a profiting monopoly out of everything they can; big Bills got enough money, he should give it free; it's not popular enough? It's a market thing? Got to see global stash divided through fiscal paradises? Everything is just meant to contribute to the pile? This, even windows, should be free to everybody, by governmental decree if need be! Why can't I use human evolution tools free? Because it's not in the chart of liberty that is already stretches all the way to practical invalidity by governmental hypocrisy, so if you think it will get better you're mistaken, it will remain a papyrus to sell democracy.

For now, I have troubles saving my text on this, I saved it no? Yes or no? Then why is it not saved after saving and closing the document? If I reopen it and close it immediately, why is it asking me to save? I saved! I don't know if I must save or not since I don't know what have been modified! What is it doing? Replacing words? Erasing stuff? I can't know, it modifies something and do with it! Ah! But I just have not to save anymore, copy-paste it in notepad instead of saving, because one way or the other, I have to save.

The reason I use word is because it is the only one I know that work on a computer with competence, I started using it by default and it got a grammar dictionary; very useful since I'm not very good in English. I use it to correct mistakes, but it is causing me a lot of frustrations lately for the simple use I have for it, so much I'm starting to think I should go back to writing on paper with a grammar book...

I'm joking, anyway, publishers wouldn't want to publish my work unless I manage to accelerate its ageing... And I shouldn't focus on Microsoft like that, but it's hard to do when you only got windows and word installed...And my machine seems stable even if it's fairly old. It does bizarre things even after I format and reinstall, it seems the more I write the worse it get. For now disabling the autosave and a bunch of auto options seems to do the job.

Each new word and each new windows eats more resources while providing almost nothing better for it, they should be distributed as patches, each new windows is a bloated bundle of hype, sure to sell a zillion copies to bring monstrous profits to big Bills who will give it all to Africans he say, damn philanthropist... I hope you don't think I'll let a company like Microsoft program a systematization of reality! Anyway, the reality will be named Microsoft reality, and it will exist to enrich big Bills (Africans), everything will be manipulated in self ass protection paranoia for black cent profits, and strictly nothing will work without a load of frustration every 6 months dealing with the bugging of the basic things that are supposed to work redundantly simply, so power hungry and inefficient it will condemn humanity to eternal indirect X patching. We should force Bills to distribute it almost free, what? A few millions less on his stash? Good, it's like the Duracell battery that never end cumulating power at each of its pub campaigns; I don't understand we're not running cars yet on these batteries...

Anyway, his windows godhood is competed by a free OS. And don't tell me I do too much internet and it's the fault of a virus, nothing like that on my computer; it is his words that doesn't work as advertised with big books, it is crashing everywhere, can't have more than a hundred or something mistakes without the correction program stopping or going nuts (don't tell me I just have to write better, I know my English is far from perfect, but try to write 2000 pages without having a hundred mistakes, you simply can't for many excellent reasons. Maybe word was not made for such big pieces of work in the first place, and that's why I'm getting so many troubles lately, my book grew too big. As for Big Bills, he's there for the money, not to make things better, just enough to beat the competition, he do it because he's a vampires and that's all; it's easy when you're rich to ask people to continually update dos until it become windows 56, and sell every version 250$!

It's a matter of marketing and investors and privatization, the system is condemned like that, sorry, so let's reap in the money and send it to Africa, to continue building the ivory coast probably... It's still a crime in my philosophy to make anything that ease the life of people an eternal profit machine. And don't tell me nothing would exist without rich profiteers, you never permitted a different view to work for comparison. I don't like profiteers who seize any opportunity to form eternal hegemonies, but that's what the democracy-capitalism business do, make everything interdependent for superior who need the world is on its knees needing them, creating invincible systems for the like of themselves and their family.

If he had really wanted to do the big philanthropy thing and help the poor, then he should have given windows 7 free, this would have lowered the price of computers, thus poorer people would have had access to technology, if he had made words free, he would have given a better writing tool to the whole world, all that while leaving the money in the pocket of the people. But that is inadequate in this reality, at least without government involvement. As for employment, sorry but the argument is invalid, there is employment whatever you do, a rich can employ a bunch of servants to clean around his ass, and there will be someone to praise him for creating jobs... And I know this is personal to me, but I always see the capacity to manipulate people as the greatest skill necessary to succeed in this reality, and if he got this capacity, then you have to question anything the guy is saying or doing in the optic of what he can gain from it. It can simply be to give himself the image of a good philanthrophit, if he is ready to put the money to manipulate the perception of people about himself; don't think the rich like to die with a bad image, they want to die with the best image possible, they want to be praised for eternity for their great genius, and they have the means. Many rich people invest in Africa these days, there is so much money flowing from rich people building themselves an image there that you got to wonder why the whole desert is not plated gold, what is it, they're building everything from scratch there? Or is it that "they" discovered a gigantic mass of pure underground water, like 15 years ago, which, strangely coincide with the "let's do stuff for Africans" craze from the rich...hidden and deep...

Another strange thing is that the word processor often turns my whole phrases around when I type "ego people", it seems to be making a fixation on the thing, it only ask for changes of sentences when it meet the "ego people" thing, but it's ok, since the changes are always better.

He would make profits even if he sold the next windows 20$, I don't want to give him more money so he buys gold and jewels with it and stash it in his bunker in Africa! To have my respect you must be fair, and that applies to this whole world of humans; why do you think I'm revolted that much? I've been the victim of unfair people from the beginning of my life, they continually make my life more difficult while every tools exist to make things fair. I don't want to interact with unfair people because they have no justifications to act like that except wrong ones, and as I already explained, unfairness is the most basic principle forming a definition of good and evil, so if you can't act fairly while you have everything to, then you don't even have the basic philosophy to be a good person. I can have the best heart but I'll destroy this whole world if people can't do this minimum, whatever you call me a sociopsychopath because I say that evil is supposed gets the worst, not the best.

And yes I know he works hard and provides something useful, but working for the sake of working has no intrinsic merit into itself. And don't say I pass my time complaining, I don't like this reality, why shouldn't I complain about it? And Microsoft is an exploiting company, like many. And they can sing it's not in the business model of reality to develop one's company toward good or evil, as they do the philanthropy thing, I'll answer they are totally wrong; a business is not a heaven where evil doesn't exist.

As for words, there may be deep remakes, but what they change every new version could take the form of an update and it's not worth the money. Most of those versions are old refurbished stuff sold under a different form with a graphical update. Then the whole planet is condemned to it because they protect all kind of codes for their monopoly, something I'm against too; I hate when people monopolize creativity, as I hate when people limit the spreading of knowledge, whatever it is with hidden code or hidden tech, or through monetary limitations. The same way I don't want to pay a mathematician each time I make an addition, I don't want to pay Microsoft each time I use some of the code they developed.

I installed word 2010 lately, I ended-up quite impressed about the inutility of the whole thing, they changed everything to make it look new and big and full of buttons and menus but they ended-up making something that doesn't do a better job than word 2003. In fact, if I'm to skip the bugs of the 2003 version, then they made it worse. The thing is a gigabyte gigantic while I only used 3 functions, it takes 10 time as long to load the book (I wonder what's the use of all this processing power and programming if it make things 10 times slower...did you try loading win 95 lately? Damn it's fast!!! On a 266 mhz w 32 mb) And while saving was very quick for 2003, now it is so long that they made a saving progression bar that you must wait after until it reaches 100%, and that make auto-saving impossible to endure as the thing interrupt you for a minute of saving, but it's my computer that's become shit, got to dump it for a new one so I can do like everybody else and not complain...Now there is a conflict of saving when I have many chapters opened at the same time, the autosave feature stays stuck and it becomes impossible to work because of the slowdown; you have to close and open all your documents all over. And yes my work is big, but I'm comparing performance on the same book. And sorry if I can't pay 1500$ to buy an i7 with 36 gigs of memory to write, which is probably the goal of the whole maneuver. I bet I could write my book as efficiently on win 95...

I transformed the whole book to the new format while asking myself what is the use of changing 20 years of .doc for .docx for some obscure function I'll never use, it felt like a kind of very weak argument invented just to sell the new word, and to top it all, I ended-up switching back to .doc because nobody wants a .docx, so I continued writing as a .doc in compatibility mode like I'm a retard. And I hate it when a program shows changes all over the place when I pass my cursor over menu items, I hope they won't make windows 2012 like that, it will be hell for sure. You're writing and without noticing the cursor of the mouse is approaching visual castatrophy, or you bump the mouse and the cursor pass over a few menu items fooling your text in gigantic characters or anything funky, did people actually asked for this? Did they made a petition to Microsoft saying they were tired of clicking to select menu items? Welcome to the future, a place where no violent people exist anymore because games got an interface that kills enemies in your place, just look at them and boom! When I want a result I want to click to get it, if I don't like it I can click "undo", I don't want Microsoft to do it in my place, even if it's just to preview the result, and my book is long enough that passing the cursor over certain items almost freezes the program.

Next, I try to make a table of content on that and end-up in an unbelievable mess of total incompetence I never understood, whole paragraphs changed to all kind of random mix of formatting as soon as I associated the first word to some of the funky table of content options, but I won't describe all the experiments I made which all ended-up in failure to get my table entries to simply point at places without messing the text; I can say I passed a hellish week going through endless pages on forums of extremely patient people decapitating the subject no end until one day, ho and behold, I hit someone that explained how to do it manually in a few simple lines, totally bypassing most of the wonderfully user hostile interface; it was a miracle, and it worked like magic, doing exactly what I wanted.

Then, just as I'm getting used to it, I get a message saying I have to register it to Big Bills within 4 days or die, while the version I'm using is supposed to be free! A classic, free things are traps in hell, unless you actually do the criminal to get it free...It was all a manipulation, and what's particularly interesting is that switching from word 2003 to 2010 have been more of a frustration than learning the free Google sketchup program to make 3D drawings, and in the end I just wasted my time as I'm not stupid enough to pay for something that bring me nothing better, and I find it ridiculous that people should pay for that, what's more, as the fatidic date approached, guess what happened? The thing crashed, yes sir, one day before the limit date, but it wasn't an end of guarantee date so what of it? Isn't this the main feature they're supposed to work on? Make word crash free? But no, they did the contrary, they went from a "crash free" word to a crashing one...but there are less bugs, but it's very bugging when your mouse cursor slip in the menu while you are concentrated writing, suddenly changing your text or formatting...

I deleted the thing and went back to word 2003, maybe I should go back to win 95 on that 15 years old computer that still work...in those times the future still looked promising, and 100 MHZ and 16 MB of memory was WOW! Today, such a thing is a lost peanut in big Bills gargantuan belly that can't work better with it, and he'll need to eat your hard drive he too, and for the rare times I buy new equipment, like a USB plug and play MP3 player, the super hyped plug and play OS craps in his pants for hell and frustration.

But enough of that, you know it is my fault, I just can't skip being attracted to scrap and troubles, if there is some around, you can bet I'm there somewhere, I kind of found trouble paradise on this planet, and to be consistent, I should add that things passes of they break with me around, and me too, I pass or I break, after dealing with my own load of troubles. And don't think I'm becoming psychotic, too easy, I'm having fun, you'll have to invent the abyss of psycho sicknesses with me, and there are no rich and powerful down there, only things you wanted to never see again (you see, it doesn't suggest me a better alternative for this phrase, I have to do the job myself, "only things you never wanted to see again" I think it's better, don't forget my lack of English stimulation...

And I know that Big Bills is extremely intelligent, a genius of programming and all, and when he'll die, everybody will buy his thick and expensive biography boasting how a great man of our times he was, how we'd be nothing today if he hadn't existed, and how tragic it is that he's now dead, but I'll still say he was a profiteer, and like all of them he spotted an opportunity in new technology and systemized it to make an eternal hegemony, a profit machine, and whatever you'll think he gave his fortune to Africans, the end result is the same, he was evil unfair. But it was not his fault if he limited his intelligence to discard such a responsibility on the back of the system, nobody's responsible, let's just do what we want within the system tolerances and cultivate ego innocence... As for the fortune to Africans, it changes nothing to the fact that he had no fair right to decide that much money, the good path was to sell "his" programs less expensively, to make less money in the first place.

Busted

Did I tell you it busted its 3D part lately? Yeah, I liked to go drive around a little in San Andreas, with personally .cfg modified momentum cars, the weight values can be tremendous, a 15 million tons perenial feels quite indestructible, add a little gearing, some shocks mods, some nitro and you got something that doesn't make sense but that is wonderfully fun, do that when you've played the game over and out. But it's very touchy, all cars have their own little variables, but the perenial is kind of perfect, it becomes like a panther, if you don't make it too fast, you can do any crazy things with it and it will always fall back on its wheels in a way that seems to make sense but doesn't from the look of the car, and the car is less large and handle wonderfully, so you zigzag in traffic almost jumping between cars, or you can simply clear yourself an explosive path, particularly if you made other cars lighter, they'll fly in the air exploding, never impeding your terrible acceleration, and if the police is a chore, you can make a tricky setup where they'll have a high tendency to easily turn on their top, or start turning like copter blades, flying away in the wind with the appropriate siren sound, totally ridiculous but oh so appropriate! Too many yellow taxis too, I made them jump and dance to destruction, literally, they dance! As for speed, boost the farm tractor, it become a crazy dragster, always with the 2 first numbers at 15 millions tons or something, but not too much, it is dependent on your machine power, not enough power and the game may freeze from a polygon overload bug upon collision, but on a powerful machine, you could create still more powerful cars than those I did. Still, speed is worthless past a certain point, particularly when you drive so fast the graphic card abandon shooting appropriate graphics. So after your vision deteriorate from the shaking, the graphic start deteriorating until you have a grave accident in a concrete structure that will make you pass through the map from not yet well calculated clipping, and you'll end-up flying in nothingness. Anyway, all that to say I liked that game very much; after some heavy writings, I would relax "slowly" strolling around in my big hearse car, where the music seems to sound best, smoking a cigarette while sending yellow cars in heaven. That game kept me addicted a lot, and I think it will be hard to surpass in diversity and play value, but then I fell for the old Shelby of driver San Francisco...

Anyway, one day, the graphic card crashed with the car, but windows was all-right, so I thought it was unimportant, and a week later I ended up trying to make the game work only to find out the card 3D ability was busted, the thing failed with a blue screen; the graphic card was burned black but still shooting 2D. I guess it's time for a new computer.

Anyway, people who truly want to make this world better prefer ignorance so much its values are twisted wrong. As for me, I'll have tried every convincing arguments possible while I'm not supposed to do any of this. It's like replacing at repetition the heart of someone that never end eating like a pig, and replacing it with someone else's at it; this reality is reaching result point, not developing point; in 100 years it will be too late. So don't come bugging me, or tell me I have a cold heart or a not big enough heart, unless you're ready to give me yours...

Compassion, tolerance and peace

Like I don't know compassion, tolerance or peace, it's just that I find them displaced and exaggerated, I mean, when you need to express it that much, when the reality needs it continually, then there is a problem, you're not supposed to tolerate or ignore tons of things you don't like, you're not supposed to need to be compassionate as a principle, you're not supposed to seek peace, what is that anyway? There is only a need for peace when there is a risk, a pressure, or a fear. A good reality must make it so that it can be efficient at minimizing the need for those without making a pressure selection with PMBBD and hype.

Religions

Lead to dust to dust, death, that's why they can't see nothing else than total Armageddon incoming, they don't spend their imagination for a new way because they don't believe in the most fundamental good direction; human potential at making a better way. So they spend their imagination to manipulate and pacify, to develop all kind of conflicting and invalid scrap, and a paradise is a place in heaven for them, as a displacement of making hell out of the earth. They only see good as kneeling in front of a superior (god) and patching in conflict, they can't see and can't invent another way since the only way is their way while it is nothing but PMBBD, and they know it, they know why things will fail but they can't bring solutions without invalidating their most fundamental belief; the ego gods ideology. So the end is coming, that's the only way, and some will try to prove it and invalidate all other possibilities; another way can't be possible since the end would not come. They'll even battle potential before it exists with things like the antichrist. All that because they fight to remain wrong, they know they are just a way to accept the reality profiteers made, they don't talk to god, they never designed a way as a result of their philosophy like I did in the "Life Reality" chapter because their philosophy is PMBBD based on twisted spirituality. So their place is in hell, and that's why they think the world will end with them, they can't tolerate to know they are wrong, even if they know they are, they just can't tolerate a paradise on earth where they can't look good, like evil rich people can't tolerate to be told they are evil.

It is all an unconscious result of the ego-god ideology, their frustrated attitude make them hate anything that can't fit the PMBBD they believe in, but they still believe and so they do like the democracy-capitalism business; use everything to defend itself, encourage it stronger, sacrifice more, they think they are good for their compassion and all, and they'll refuse to consider a different way because it conflict their historically implanted ideal, they'll never help if it doesn't fit their vision of god or whatever belief which are all the same twisted evil PMBBD in the end.

An important message on my desktop

I can promise you'll regret putting your nose in my things; this is my problem, nobody else than me know how to get out of that stuff, only me can end this and nobody can make a profit out of it so leave it there, don't open it, don't touch it. But if you're really a moron that can't understand sense, if you think nothing is beyond you, god, then take the red ring book along, take full responsibility, you'll free me of a load of troubles...

If I get myself killed

I say that because I had an "argument" with hydro Quebec that cost me some work, they cut the power on this January day (while it's supposed to be illegal in the winter), just for fun, for some neighbor that don't care, work they should do in the summer. But they rarely cut the power in the summer, 3 times in January is better though, and they wouldn't waste time warning worthless people like me before cutting it.

Power for me is as sacred as communication, what would you do if your body shut down every now and then because of cheap connection, someone sucking your cerebro-spinal liquid... Nobody should profit from these sacred things, but in my corner, they cut it by shorting wires a few times for some special effects, like it's an on-off thing they can play with like a child that has never seen a light, so they shorted my mind too, and I got out to explain my right and how they should behave. This guy interrupts me and said to look in his eyes when I talk to him, so I stripped off his invincibility protection "mirror effect" glasses to do it, thus making him more vulnerable or human, not an alien self-important thing anymore, and reality scared the shit out of him, poor him, I was hard, scary, he didn't think it could happen. I mean pissing off a writer with a 4 hours of concentration and work wipe-off (I write very slowly, English is not my language).

I told him with teeth intensity how to do his job, since it's too hard to just do his job as a responsibility, that it was illegal to cut power in the winter for a detail, to minimally warn people before cutting power, and act competent when cutting power, that's somewhat like it, but no direct insults or violence except in my face. He ran to his truck to call the police while I got back home, undressed and went to bed. The police came knocking on my door half an hour later; I told them to wait, got dressed, opened, and they told me I'd have to go to court because I supposedly hit him and made death threats, and his friends were witnesses; all lies.

I told them, while spotting their knees shaking, what I did in truth, and they asked my ID for the court thing. Can't do otherwise than to end there making use of the best system, and its evidently "just" expensive judges and lawyers who will surely ask me to pay a fine to poor hydro Quebec power profiteers, like I'm supposed to do with poor Bull Canada communication profiteers, for the wrongs I did them...

But these were people, not a company, just people (mirror sunglasses style professional worker of the chainsaw massacre...) backed by a company with a reputation against an asshole; me. I lost. The joke is that it's me that have been the victim of wrong justice practically every times the socially assisted went there to be judged the hand on the bible, being thrown rocks in the name of a religion that say you shall not throw rocks unless you're a saint...

But any abnormal look means you're culprit to a godly judge, a guarantee with my intense looks, to make me laugh at your self-importance insignificance, and nothing to prove, I'm not poor for nothing, besides, who will defend me? The less paid lawyers, the system ones, it is exactly like the doctor thing where I get worse than no service, except for lawyers the best are deceived people thinking they strive for good, but they are unfairly underpaid in the justice system they defend, and they work hard for the system, encouraging it all their strength, and me? I get a criminal reputation because they can't "compete" with the more ego lawyers; that's in part how this great justice system works.

I should be compensated for the frustration the system served me and the negative reputation too. I get disrespected and I get punished over it, you do everything to increase my revolt, now take your responsibilities, and never again use twisted spirituality in your competition of who is the best liar while you are with your decisions that are mostly biased and unfair. Besides, to have a higher success rate at winning, you got to be the same kind of people as a judge named by politicians that believe itself good and evolved and fair and all.

So for all those crimes against me cause by this injustice system, the frustration, the punitions and the wasted time, I want one million$... As a matter of fact, they never made a just decision, all wrong from the beginning because of the lie competition principle which advantage greatly those with means, and the price of removing criminal file is so expensive that I can't do it. Most of those judges and lawyer have a problematic attitude too, and you can bet they need television shows to glorify their gang, they are fantastically expensive to human life, in sanity, in evolution too, they are an obstacle, a problem, I should even say the justice system makes as much criminality as it removes.

And don't tell me good and evil don't exist, that your justice system only exist to discover the truth, it is a lie, it have everything to do with good and evil, do you apply a sentence or not? You don't apply this sentence to an end result in reality like punishing the assassinated person, you punish the source, the person that did something wrong, or the people that pushed or manipulated someone into doing something wrong. Then you're deciding good and evil at a fantastic complex and detailed level even if you are all wrong in your judgment and in the value you apply to these actions that satisfy your view of it, and I'm not talking about the initial failure of making a twisted competition out of it.

I'm revolted that this justice system always finds out that any little shit babbling inconsistencies always tells the truth if I'm a little emotive. Particularly those who boast how brave they are playing with electricity or jumping down planes for an adrenaline shot while they can't take an ugly face without pissing in their pants and bringing people to court; I'd be rich from all the people that hit or insulted me in my life with such an attitude, a thriving business, and a lot of people would have a criminal file...I remember some woman that did exactly the same trick to me, and who is paying? And who is the most tolerating? Who doesn't do it when he gets far worse than the accusations? You want to spill the blood I spilled? Can't express some frustration in this world? Maybe you should practice the extreme sport of seeing someone angry without wanting to chop him at the chainsaw or wanting to ruin him bringing him to court! Anyway, I wouldn't call those self boasted brave people to battle without a tank around their fearful skin for sure either...

I'll add that workers who see any risk in their job as a justification to ruin others to protect their ass have no place at that job, you like your job or you want to help things, or you're there for profiting. If you like your job, you'll accept there are some risks to it, and you won't want to ruin your employers if you take the risk of walking on the verge of emptiness. The way some are going we'll need a team to carry an airbed everywhere they walk in case they tip on a grain of sand. And don't twist my words, wear your helmet, glasses and strap yourself to your pole, but it is your responsibility to care for yourself as much as the responsibility of the work structure to provide adequate tools, both sides do their part; the more you force others to protect you, the more you feel like a god until you can do anything stupid believing the boss will catch you to safety.

And don't think only you activities are a scare; you know the feeling of planting your feet where there is nothing? A writer can easily live the same thing from being shut down his work in his face, and while you're immediately satisfied of not falling, the writer is waiting for hours the fear in the stomach in case your shutting down of power busted the hard drive. The risks of the trade? Exactly, except for the one that can't have two jobs at the same time, one to have the means to feel secure, and the other to do his job. You think I'll go get a job every time you bust the condensers of my computer with your power surges? Get a job for an insurance against incompetence? Or pay a long term guarantee on everything? Who will pay me new equipment? You? You're just lucky I got a soldering iron and know more than electricity in my worthless status. Bring me to court to finish me off, make me pay you a slab of money for excuses.

I wrote a long time from a memory stick, in part for that reason, but I made the terrible mistake of buying a cheap 15$ MP3 player made from some Chinese competitor, and the darn thing was not only a scrap to listen to, but the first time I plugged it, it started a program of recycling that paused the whole explorer every second; a hardware virus that is not one. Deleting it just made it reappear, copying a single tune on it took 2 minute because of it, formatting the stick didn't do either, but I had a 20 second chance without the program starting if I disabled the key (removed the letter) and started the computer anew, and I managed, within those 20 seconds to transform the stick in a hard drive without being interrupted with an error message about the program starting, but even as a hard drive, the MP3 stick still did it, so I destroyed it. The worst is that upon plugging my other stick, the program copied itself on the other stick and I was never able to remove it from there either even through a registry deleting of any relations, even by disabling it and formatting. Now think of those who don't understand, they just think it is normal that the explorer flash when they plug their stick in, but the joke is that it infects executables, and starting an infected executable spread the virus.

That's an example of the scrap that is made thanks to competition and who reap the troubles? Innocents. The MP3 stick was made by a Chinese company for a Canadian company (le chateau), hurrah country competition, and who will buy a 15$ MP3 player? A poor that never had the money for one. And it was boxed with publicity of how cool it was, while some of the advertised functions didn't even exist! Like the programming function. I'm too innocent, I should know better than to believe in publicity, I don't have 15$ to waste in frustration, and the cost is far more. As for the ones that sold me that scrap, you can bet I'll never again get my busted condensers from them, I'll bust their store open and spill their garnets everywhere in streets for cars to pass on instead.

Anyway, to go back to my other adventure concerning Hydro Quebec's gremlin, after I gave my ID to the police for my trip in court, they told me to stay in my apartment while my "enemy" repaired nothing for 6 hours with his police as a protector. But before wasting all that time, for nothing else than doing his evil jobbing vengeance around like an artist and charging the neighbor max money for it, with two trucks and the police to do not much more than cutting a few bramble that where not a true risk, something they could have done in the summer, or prevent if they were competent, before doing that, he needed to feel safer boasting hysterically how crazy I was just under one of my side window without knowing it was my apartment, almost shouting how his day was starting bad "a grand coup de poings" "at big swings of fists" was his exact words.

I opened the surprise windows, just over his head, and I harshly and powerfully (I can have a earth shaking voice if I want) blared that I didn't hit him but if he wanted it that bad I'd show him what really happens when I hit someone, then I closed the window. He went almost crazy and started loudly crying, it really sounded like he was, to the cops "see how fucking crazy he is!" over and out in hysteria, and I satisfyingly felt I had busted a sanity function related to his happy way of "life". Then I heard one cop suggest what would happens if I got out, they didn't talk to me directly, just between each others as a bunch of fearful assholes, I imagined one slapping at his gun, what else does he have? A police baton? And the hydro Quebec gremlin started laughing, saying "yeah, and I got this" and what did he had in his hands? A chainsaw. They were all well-armed and secure for their long shift at cutting brambles, I observed them and I can tell you I haven't seen them do something critically important; they more like fooled around for 6 hours, preparing the trees for my wrath or something...

Things like that sometimes happen to me, a clash of attitudes I could say, but it is worse than that, almost "magical". So yes it is possible I won't survive long enough to finish my work, and I know it is my fault, I should barricade myself very deep underground with a big battery to skip looking for troubles. Or I could buy a 200$ powerbar to encourage some ego industrial on batteries, but my responsibility is to encourage a minimum of these things, and I definitively don't have that much money to spend, anyway I guess I'm better spend the money I successfully stash to reimburse my "sins" to the justice system...

At least I understand that most of the problems I attract are attitude related, an attitude that doesn't permit me to buy a safe windows or a safe word processor... I would not even risk plugging the internet with my windows, with my kind of luck some kind of internet police will catch me and drag me before the judge...I should make the effort of finding a better word before my hairs suddenly fall white on the floor too, or more probably a new computer, since crashing quickly free loads of cold liquid fear, and an Hydro Quebec incompetent is the worst thing I can spot around as a culprit...

If you continue innocently battling all those who really stand up for good, then you'll be responsible for the end, and you can make me the culprit all you want, the victim is humanity, and I'll just have played my part in it, like all humans through history. Still, whatever the associations I find to defend my view, I'm still prone to crash on the chainsaw blade of an hydro Quebec gremlin with his cops the hand on their pistols, and the only valid weapon I possess is a baseball bat to get vampires swallowing their teeth (it's simpler, like castration...); it's not me that got the guns in truth, whatever my imaginary battles, they're all on the same side protecting the same thing. But you can brandish your weapons at me all you want, you're just killing yourselves, and you can tell the judge I'm crazy all you want, I'm not the one brandishing guns and chainsaw while laughing yet, I'm still hardly at the death threat step, not even serious, more sarcastic humoristic than anything else, death threats I didn't even distribute to those ready to gun me down and chop me at the chainsaw. And I know from long ago how evil gang itself around chainsaws and guns, copy paste from politicians with their armies of war machines and religious institutions; the weaker, the more gregarine ganging for invincibility and the more means involved...

Anyway, rich power profiteers definitively don't have what it takes to help the life reality, can I live a year without a power-loss in this reality? Not at all. Their power system for profits can't last a few months straight without putting people's lives at risk, we surely won't build a safe systematization on such incompetence.

The last time I got it Sunday god day, straight in January at -35, and who lost power? Inferior like me, the lower city, and I'm ready to bet they did it on purpose with those ads all around to save power to sell it to the U.S. They want us to believe we don't have enough power while we got tons of it, and don't forget hydro Quebec is a governmental thing.

There are a few millions Quebeckers, not 100 million, and we should have power almost free! And the last insult you can do while exploiting and manipulating people like that is to be incapable of providing safe power in the winter! And it is not me that should lose power if there is not enough, it is those who waste it; the rich! Next time I'll burn your building to get some heat, you want me to go back Neanderthal? It is not my power consumption that is the problem!

And you'll stop manipulating your numbers to justify your cost, too late, you have lost all credibility, your numbers and charts are lies, every winter is the same song, next time, I'll open all windows and waste "your" power; I'm choking in my co/2 saving power for your profiting lying ego that is the one wasting it! I'll cut the lines to your U.S. source of profits, then I'll blow most of "your" barrages and we'll still have power for winter so much we produce!

And no problem being fair with them, the problem is that you are unfair to those producing it, you're a traitor to your own people, or is it the way of the system that make you so? Investors and governments, and you are living in frivolity... And second, those near the source get it first, not the farthest away first! And those who pay the most for it, the poorer, those get the best service, not your rich friends who pay less for it! Those who pay more get the best, that's fairness (supposing the value of money is fair which is evidently not the case presently)! But the rich are not the ones to reap power-losses every few months, they're not the ones to be harassed, they're not the ones to culpabilize... And I aint got a big home or industry worth getting it wholesale, I've got a little apartment my life depend on; I lose power in the winter and I'm on survival mode at risk of dying, not on plane mode to the south leaving the thermostat full on for comfort when I'll come back in a month! But it is worthless educating ego people...

Better world

This is possible for young people mostly, older people probably won't take such risks since the time they invested in their beliefs and the system condemns them too much, they cumulated a lot of material, status too, so it's mostly younger people who have the potential, but they too will come to become comfortable and scared to lose the shit they got together.

And be careful, when those well adapted older people will go critical they'll be at high risk of pointing fingers at the youth crying they're crazy and mindless killers on testosterone, but isn't it the older people that are supposed to have the means?

Young judgment

Anyway, your adult judgment is not much better than 16 years old judgment in most instances, your spirituality is worthless since it is based on PMBBD and you produce people for the economy. Since ego is the easiest path, soon we'll have rich people of 16, businessman of 16, prostitutes of 16, that's because real adults are becoming rare, we're all a bunch of children with an incredibly limited judgment pointing at each other, adulthood means we followed a recipe to fit in, which can be learned by a child, and that's what humans are becoming; a industrial recipes produced by a reality full of invalid or twisted principles, to the point that the principle we'll hold most dearly in the face of the end is still making a money while we're at it, for most...

Sorry but the biggest part of evolution is a mentality thing, and in that we are stagnated from long ago, which can just about fairness, sexuality and love for a start. We try so hard to look like adolescents that we're mentally regressing while thinking art and entertainment and gadgets is evolution. I'm exaggerating, but adults are becoming no better than adolescents and that's particularly true with their view of love, good and spirituality, and for what reasons they make children.

If you were born in N-Korea, you'd act like them; you'd eat what they eat and kill what they kill, isn't that nice of you?

You can get back the map now, unless some people don't want to surrender their part...

But the joke is that I do the contrary; I'll add more appropriate imaginary associations to untwist your stuff and serve it back to you straight, with some insults; can't have everything for free...

And we may never know what we are since we become in big part what we want.

The life god likes very much to play with unworthy people who like to play gods, and as an algorithm based sense of humor, it doesn't have to take suffering into consideration...

And you may say this is a pathetic ideal all you want, the truth is that my way of seeing things, my project, mind and ideals are far from it, you are the pathetic one, I could even say that humanity in this reality is pathetic!

Maybe you should look at me as a caged savage animal, isn't it somewhat what I am? An animal that write; now you'd do something, an animal expressing itself! A dog! Telling his opinion, Wow!

This sewer corner is where the monster grows; it is a place where scientists go diving oh! Shit, what did I just said, I mean, there may be unique green things down there...

He could even be a consanguine, you know how rich people are when they sniff cocaine while fucking blindly at the LSD epoch, or someone could have stolen sperm in a weird way.

Yet, in the face of truth, cheaters are disqualified and punished.

Now, what about these stories boasting battles with giants in the bible? Maybe they found a dinosaur bone...

You can paint every raisin a different color but they'll still be raisins.

Oh! Wow! A fucking microbe!

But that would conflict with the bullshit zero theorem, which would be better defined as the big crutch theorem...

Instinct is an approximation, science is a precision

Unconscious logic; if you are not equilibrated, then what are you?

Why saying cats are narcissist? Because some like dogs better and they try to make another competition that doesn't make sense out of it.

You can imagine you are alone in the universe when you are ignorant, but that's the craziest thing you can ask a knowledgeable person to believe in, even if it's a little possibility...

There's always the possibility that this is a solar system I designed with pride, and now I'm visiting it like a goddam kid, and then I'll be like WTF!??

Proud to be human when you know all what you can do (potential) but ashamed of humanity when seeing what and understanding how.

We take tremendous care of our astronauts; we are astronauts on this planet, moving in this galaxy, but we are busting our vessel...

Will everybody making over 150 000$ a year involve their money to the point of lowering their standards of living and stash while continuing to work? Criminals too?

I don't encourage new things to thrive under any form right away and forever, making a systemized condemnation of form because it is new or impressive.

We must stop using a big slab of civilization birth rate and resources to fuel the country competition, with armies all over the place to which you feed a part of the population for the pollution result of death, and I'm not talking about all the production costs of having armies.]

Blind

I guess it's worthless writing to give a better option to people who don't want to see, they want to be surprised by the end of "their" world, they want to blindly persevere until death suddenly hit them.

A little cannibalism en route

Yes I'd do it in the scenario where my survival is otherwise not included, just like replacing a blown organ.

Creating flashing horrors (true craziness, not the institutionalized stuff, neither schizophrenia, I'm talking about fear, even terror, pushing you to run away from your mind. That would come from PMBBD pressures conflicting and displacing true emotions sources; but it's just a theory, and you'd need a damn pile of twisted pressures to fear being alone with your mind.)

Now that I passed this inflated big, proud, loving and all reality in the "torder" (old washing machine thing where you passed your clothes through rolls to remove water instead of using centrifugal force), removing the blunt of PMBBD, I'm left with very thin and fragile stuff which looks like something meant to end in the toilet.

They'll put the fault on anything but unfairness, they'll never say a problem is a catalyser of emotions, linked to a latent problem or displaced frustration that is the result of unfairness; if people revolt it's not the fault of unfairness, it's the fault of the heat they'll say, maybe testosterone too.

I hope that goes to the full extent of the meaning; I'd prefer that than running at you with a knife shouting that I'm going to do all kind of bloody and painful things in an inappropriate language; I prefer when manipulators tips in their own traps, but that rarely happens in hell, its ways make it so that they end-up in a luxury bunker instead. So it's all laughable, who gives a shit about my opinion, I'm no president!

You don't believe good and bad exist because it is not tangible under your microscope? Like love that can't exist if ego people can't profit from it? More time and resources because you need a universe to understand a universe? The system is the best so it is impossible that you're wrong? Never been?

You can take what I borrowed from you, your success I hope, your greatest possibility. So please take the form of your will for me, a man humbled to meet his dependence, your continuation, and I hope your pride. Just tread lightly within my mind, it is my independence there, and I'll always want to be the master of it.

And I'd be more tolerant if they got rid of the scrap around their sentences; talking is not a competition like so many people seems to think. Then if there is something left after getting rid of the bullshit then I may be interested in hearing about it...at last I won't feel like there is a serpent continually hissing somewhere around...

Soaps

both my grandmas had their generational overlap soap, I think there it's good to have that feeling of continuity, and for me it's nascar races, the longest never ending, infinite looping, full of drama, accidents, victories and challenges, and while things go around, we build machines that race against the clock, cars doing their business, turning around fast...and doing a flip once in a while, professionally....

Flies bombing people

Do flies bomb people from the air? I don't know, but I don't like having them flying around food, but I guess I could eat flies and I shouldn't die out of it, it's just personal tastes, but surely more. As for bombs, I was talking about eggs, but maybe they can drop more in your soup, even if you'll be good if you taste a single grain of pepper in it, but I'm saying stupidities.

Reflective

You don't like your bullet (manipulative message under pressure) to hit my armor and ricochet back at you as a deep different brain implant? Then stop it, stop the destruction the kind of people you can't fit in or profit from, kill their diversity, their imagination, their independence, to create monsters with them. Everybody got a tolerance limit, and now is gift distribution time, have you been good?

Violence

But you must go through a self-observation, and emotive phase that can last a long time, violence is always a trauma, it is not meant to exist or not, it is a tool of change you don't want to use, want it or not, and the only violence that can bring something positive to a mind or people is successfully getting out of it, the meaning of peace. And to get out of it you must control evil until it is not a problem anymore.

Not funny guy

Maybe you'd prefer to do like you always did concerning me, you can hate me, I'm used to it, tell me I'm a no future, an ego profiteer, only a pretty face, insult me, force me to frustrated inexistence, ignorance of the not funny guy. You never wanted what I could bring, I never felt useful or worthy, all my youth I've been rejected as not good under this form by people wanting to teach me manners or how to live, so whatever I do to help, you must act like you won't get it. If you want, you can see it like it is not me that wrote all this, it was done by a rich man, a prime minister, a singer, an actor, a hockey player, an artist, someone applauded, admired or encouraged by millions of people, or someone powerful enough in your mind to move coliseums did it before dying. But that's twisted, I want you to care for some ideals, dreams and principles, I want those to make true difference in your life, if I can't get you to care and do something then I don't care anymore. I want to see if people can take a different way if sufficient argumentation is presented to them too, but that may only be me...

I'm such a romance

Sometimes I wonder if someone like me is on the contrary side of the earth from where I live, waking up his sun while I set mine to sleep, the farthest directly connected people to me; does someone pray life? Or only religious kneeling exists, all in their little innocent world, the earth a surface meant for kissing in the name of an ego god, meaning nothing or worse. Where are the people that like this earth more than their religion? If people sat alone in the silence of the mind, would it travel their bodies in emotions for what they stand on? Do they pray it? Or I'm just an emotive imbecile and I don't understand? Days and nights like the flick of a switch unwinding myself faster than the earth, held by a rubber string rolling around it, so far away I don't dare looking out, earth thing that flew away, trying to find back gravity, dreaming of rolling the earth around me as the only way to find back its heat... are there humans holding the string hard enough to reach me, or will I embrace the hearth of this earth alone?

Santa Claus leadership

And sorry for you if my kind of uneducated leadership ends-up more appropriate. It's winter, 4 o clock in the morning, I feel I'm floating in emptiness, a feather in an apartment, absolute silence except the wind outside, I do the same kind of job many people are supposed to be doing, but I'm not there, and for half this earth that is awake like me, they're babbling themselves a leadership I'm so absolutely certain won't make things better when the sun will reach me that I've forgotten it behind somewhere in 96 to concentrate on closing my mouth.

The bet is that I'll provide more eventual resulting good at a fraction of the cost, and full gun blazing at it, dusting the national funeral in the lot. My heart beats for life, I like this wind, I float on it, and when I jump down my flying sleigh, it is to stomp down on your cemeteries, I don't end there, I land there as a red giant with big boots while my forgotten children rampage those for space. And you can tell me I'm a violent all you want, my leadership doesn't come from being grown in competition, profiting, jealousy or self-inflation, I'm not an ex sportsman, or an ex "super" "star", I'm an ex cold forest thing, I'm an ex low level military too, sorry, Oh Oh Oh, got to fill my bag of gifts somewhere now that you melted my place to steal my resources and dirty things final...

Hell

Finally, if there are a dozen condemnations, then the reality will end in a mess, nobody will be capable to pinpoint at the true source of what lead to the mess, and the mess can last for thousands of years until humanity is condemned to earth, that mess is what I call hell, it is due in most part to falsehood, and it started long ago.

Gods

They are not rich, they are not adorned for a skill, and sorry for your reality if it twists everything toward evil, PMBBD twist everything, gods are not popular or rich people, gods are another thing that have nothing to do with richness, superiority or popularity. It's like your cat, it's another thing, even if people sometimes call themselves cats, the same with gods.

Gods have become big because they became obscure through PMBBD, and they may be part of our history, they may be related to our existence, eternal questioning, eternal doubts, because you can work the story to your own end too, because it contains values, principles, poesy, facets of spirituality, because it was associated to supreme superiority, because it was thrown in PMBBD and competition and war like everything else, and associated to human attitudes and skills, but it's still just an interesting way we came into being, nothing more, the rest is twisted stuff. Another human civilization arising on another planet may never have even supposed, for a fantastic amount of time that gods could just exist, they could simply have embraced life as the supreme entity right away at the first Darwin instead of creating hell, but that would be underestimating the ego god (s) ideology pathway, which any tribe is born to fall in whatever the big life all around, a lot ready to stomp...

Risky business

I'd even dig in a cylinder with a surface window and exit, you prepare things in orbit and when ready, load a team of sacrificial survivors performing experiments, of themselves too, in it for a cycle, they may come back all dead, or completely nuts, or forever condemned to a wheel chair, that's part of the job. And don't cry, humans are like that, propose them such a thing you'll have a line wanting to do it for free, for glory, yes humanity is perfect like that and you don't profit from it because you'll spoil the spirit. You tell people the risk, and the truth you know of, and give them acceptable education, no need to make them perfect astronaut, but you don't want crazies in the team, it's a long run, and they won't suicide under gamma bombardments, there must be a very high probability that it will succeed, to say you did it, a first, and you learned many things, it was worth it.

English people

While the English people who lived in every village, often hidden in gangs, are leaving, or dying of old age, with their secrets now that Quebec is finally condemned. They'll say they're old peace and love residues, but that's not true, and the examples of homes they lived in while whole villages were struggling in poverty proves it. I've heard a few stories, and I passed a lot of time wondering who the hell were these people. Ghosts it seems, only English people, doing wtf in places that are always sufficiently out of the way that most villagers wouldn't care to know them. I had the luck of visiting some of them when I was young, and they looked like they had no manual qualities, what were they doing in this home? And they didn't even know how to make a toast! And this is a fact, the woman was walking and looking normal, almost normal, a bit extraterrestrial and weird of voice "do you want a toast kid?" AHAAAaaaa! How can you burn toasts repetitively in your own home while having only that to offer visiting kids? You have a candy around here eh no? do you have...a... a fruit? (I eventually got revenge for the burned toasts, by accident, I burned fishes and she ate them! Maybe it's a question of taste, maybe she likes to smile with a mouthful of black toast stuff, who knows, maybe she has some kind of black inside; I bet she would still walk normal if I gave her charcoal). Anyway, I wonder what were their friends circle like, think about it, English people living in a village of farmers and woodcutters and going in their French bar at night. But yes maybe, and we needed English language teachers, and we're not racist, but something still feels wrong, they could be hidden killers...

Scars

As for my cut, I didn't go to the doctor, I was tired of meeting the less competent ones, so I decided to heal my testicles myself instead of taking the risk of losing one or getting an infection. Healing was a painful and long thing, but I was getting used to this, I'm collecting big scars around the area... As a matter of fact, I got a two inch big scar there, and I never understood where I took it, I remember nothing of it, it's a mystery scar, how could I forget? I don't know, and how would you feel if you spotted the thing for the first time at 25? Who will give an explanation now?

Math 12

Voir si ya pas queqchose a inventer qui pourait initier une voie menant a une theorie sur l'effet des formes.

I personally like 12 because it is more interrelated to everything, I'm not counted on the fingers of hands, I'm not counted by a computer either as they tumble double, but you can adapt it to your human mathematical way that is just that; a form of math. But what happens with math? It makes reality, yes sir, everything is time, everything is mathematics, and everything is...form, a time form, time that disintegrates all forms. So what happens to the form of math you use? It becomes reality and that applies to the translation of form from computer to human that is "realized" in hard circuitry and nuclear power plants, but we're trying to make it less polluting don't we? That way all what composes the human, which is mathematics because it is a form of mathematics, can be hard circuited to become robotic. But it will forever be missing true life functions unless you become ready to make your universe, which will be a worthless experiment, since only life can develop capacities beyond mathematics.

It means life is the ultimate computer, and it will be for as long as the universe exists in this time format, you are condemned to be the ultimate computer, and those that want to make computers more intelligent than themselves should be very careful in their vision of intelligence and life, they could scrap important life functions for worthless robotization. And you better like life, accept to feel pain, like living in truth and love and carrying your memory. Pain is a truth or it doesn't exist? Some scientist will surely say it doesn't exist for some civilization placebo, very useful in our times. People have an existence conflict? Ah, here's the truth about it; it doesn't exist! But miracles do exist, here's the proof!

I'm pushing a little, but sight is forever limited, and concerning sight, I could add that a human being is a form, it is a sight, you don't necessarily need eyes to see, your senses are your sight of reality, and life sight includes all its life forms that sense reality. You made yourself dependent of your vision of reality, and a blind can live in it because his other senses can understand what we made of reality, he know he's missing eyes, and if we're minimally good, we'll try to provide tools and help. Good people want them to have a decent standard of living, but we'd prefer them to do any job we do, because we know unconsciously the power of imagination, we know we are transmitting them our vision; we know they need to touch reality more than us too, and I know that a developed imagination can make a more beautiful world than the truth of it, and sometime worse too. Anyway, the way we're going, we're as well escape the reality of it... As for blinds, their missing function someday may be looked upon as an advantage by some cultures that want some emphasis of development where sight is not as important, or the lack of sight encourages the development of other traits.

To go back to my things about mathematical deformity toward "infinity" (sensibility to the decomposition from time), I would explore heavy live fractal effects too; it could be useful to learn things unconsciously. But such possibilities will be explored naturally with computers a million times as powerful as the complex scrap for profits we have today, (even if it is top tech and advanced in some facets) along with minimal mathematical deformity or maximal stability (stability is not necessarily a straight line, it is often a cycling one, like the seasons). But we'll need a hundred earths to reach that power the way we're exploiting to increase computing power by little steps in the name of profitability and competition, we condemn humanity to a difficult, power and people hungry, polluting architecture along with it. But I'm a thousand year ahead of my time here, and there is no use extrapolating the why with the continuing description of this fractal infinity thing since a civilization that wants to advance will explore such mathematical possibilities, and doing so will expose others possibilities for exploration by people of that time, no need for me to say ridiculous things right now, I say enough as it is...

Oriental movies

Less bullshit too, an oriental person will say that you can't guarantee fairness in life, which is true, while an occidental person will say nothing in life is fair or life is not fair which is total bullshit. And they do good movies, extraordinary love stories, all that while cutting short the sex scenes, you know they'll have sex, but the actors are not acting like they absolutely need to have sex in front of cameras, which is so common in American movies it is predictable like it's a condition. And it doesn't work for me since I prefer movies where they leave the space for my imagination. I'm talking about a single point here, their spirituality seems less twisted too. Now, what if Inuit movies, if they had developed more fully like they'll do in the life reality, what if they could produce great and different entertainment too?

Protection

So I won't show any of this writing unless it is totally finished, then I'll try to publish. But before doing so I'll number each paragraphs then separate the story in two creating a story from even paragraphs and one from the uneven ones. Then, I'll encrypt both of them differently maybe for 2 steps if I can. That'll give me 2 heavily encrypted stories. I'll get a bunch of CD, and put half the story on one with the decrypting key of the other part of the story, which will be on another CD with the decrypting key of the first part. I'll put each CD in a different envelope with a message. I'll go out and give some of these envelopes to random people and I'll mail a few more to people in other countries. The message will say something to the effect of how to know, without reaching me, what to do with the CD. That's should do it, so if someone injects me a truth serum I won't be able to say where the story is, and if I get published in a way that satisfies me, it won't matter anymore. Now, that won't be the only way I'll protect the story. For now I'll put the original of this book and proofs that I wrote it in my testament, to prevent copycats.

Am I missing something?

If I didn't think about it now, would I ever? What is the level of what I'm missing? What did I encompass within what is possible? I have a malleable systematization, philosophy and spirituality based on developing possibilities, but it will never encompass every possibility, ridiculous, but encompassing the best and most satisfies me.

Libertine civilization of evil monsters

There are good and bad developments and mutations, and that can be in the mind as much as the body, and you can become dependent from those if you want, acquiescing them, unconsciously morphing reality, gaining strength and momentum, but you better not create the raisin wine humanity of this diversity because you will eventually be faced with your self inadequacy, your diversity limited to one facet of the human potential, and you'll die out of it because you let ego competition pollute, pressure and influence most people through history with corrupt principles.

And don't worry, you'll have diversity, among your raisin wine mentality, but after good people are finally pressured out, it will be the reign of monsters with all kind of incapacitating deformations that have no good uses, but perfect for the most profiting situation possible, a vast market for the most twisted diversity, while scientists and pharmaceuticals and psy and charlatans of all kind will thrive with so many problems to "heal". Most people will be on plastic surgery of all kind, while science will continue dumping the responsibility of their profession, and their attitude with it.

You want to preserve integrity while having diversity? Make an appropriate reality. If you can't understand death with such a limited lifespan, can't appreciate life, can't think of the legacy you're dirtying the human name with, if you have no respect for life's work, then you're not worth it and yes, you may as well treat it like garbage, if you keep the pollution to yourself...

Exponential growth

And it is almost too late, life goes forward, we can't rewind, the driver of the bus who convinced everybody he is superior and know where he's going was an incompetent that ignored warning signs and accelerated downhill, now he's missing the turn, he can still steer but it's gonna be on 2 wheels while people crash against the windows, if not, your choice is a wall or a precipice. So hell in the bus as you discover that the driver is a cadaver mummy chained to the driving wheel of a stone bus created at the time of the discovery of the wheel, a slow time where acceleration was spread everywhere and a good thing, but not brakes. Well, my comparison is not good, and you shouldn't listen to every bout of paranoia I make.

Skidzophrenia (before my other mind, see The Seat Of My Mind)

It's a language connected thing, like an unconscious function that is needed to start people in life failed to shut down, or continued to grow, putting him on a very basic default logical track for some things. Or maybe another way or seeing it would be that it's not the extrapolation of life that is stronger, but the logical knowledge of life systems itself; the "initial unconscious". Applying words and meanings to words and phrases have tremendous importance to him, there's some kind of mix-up between reality and something else fundamental that completely stall him over signification of words and things, turning them in all possible fashion of the craziest combinations and signification, he could be of great help to a language development team, if that existed, and if they could go over his extravagances.

Think about it, instead of being your self-controlled and judging person that do the talking (thinking) in your head, it's another separated purely logical process that you cannot overpower, you express its will through your own internal language, and it goes kaput over things, signification, words and actions, trying to understand all those strange ways of the reality the life-form live in, particularly language, since it is somewhat of a reflection of reality, asking crazy questions all around the brain.

You get crazy or revolted over uncontrolled conflicts, vague meanings or misinterpretations (not only of language), growing your mind while you suddenly get a retarded riposte about an image in memory that the form or signification of is conflicting. You try to grow normally through this and, logically, fail in face of the reality. You'd have to live in a lot of truth and good to skip wrong interpretations. But it looks like a soup that can produce any kind of funky ideas, in case we missed, or more likely, eliminated, or twisted, a critical possibility.

But this situation, in millions of people who have all their time and nothing to lose, in a language environment that reflects heavy use of PMBBD; that can become scary, because you would be going against life genetic momentum, with language aberrations that are successfully leading to grave problems, like a failure to adequately attach emotions to language associations, keeping unconscious battles at the superficial level (reflected in cheap, or poor quality, or basic drive, dreams, probably...).

Now, following that path and my belief that a lot of what we do eventually gets reflected in genetics to some extent, you'd have to ask the question when the first people suffering from this appeared. If it is truly a word signification related thing, then that would probably be a few hundred years before language became mainstream as a PMBBD carrier. And that could set the date at which we unconsciously knew our attitude would lead to very big troubles. That would have been our mental test and we failed lamentably since not only we didn't start a better philosophy to repair or change things, but we worsened them by making our troubles invincible. Anyway, all this stuff is just some ideas I was having, far-fetched enough I should keep to myself, and I strictly and truly don't know what I'm talking about.

The other thing here is that certain fundamentally important destinies may be failing instead of disappearing, because they would be too important to life system's evolution for their extinction, they'll forever be there whatever the selection we make, even if they don't reproduce Schizophrenia could be such a form of failure; what if your best place is to test-walk good and evil? Maybe if it was your destiny in this reality you'd quickly fail lamentably, you'd be faced with evil very young, infected before gaining consciousness of it, and its forms, profundity, hypocrisy, and complexity would make it quickly evident it is an impossible quest to deduct or fight, particularly if you are infected by wrong views quickly in youth. As for the definition of it, it either don't exist, or it is all twisted and wrong, and it is evident that life systems got its "view" of it since good and evil is based on attaining life's goals, or doing our best, but maybe you're better seeing it as a path; life don't see evil, there are better paths and worse ones, and there is the best path too.

So it could be possible that schizophrenia is the result of a very strong will (pressure) from life systems to make its senses (us) attain its goals (you can see it as deductions from unconscious clues), a pressure to adjust our vision of good and evil (a cry for help), and it is so necessary to our best path that the destiny may be invincible, and its worst possible failure would be for the reality to reject it as a mental sickness. A reality that make sense would help the person steer within these conflicts in his mind with straight truths, but the problem in this reality would be extraordinarily big because of all the interrelation of good and evil with everything, and if you implant a religion in him, then you already lost since he'll be in too much conflicts right from the start, he'll see red eyes on a painting and think there's a demon watching him, then the exorcist will debark.

Now, invent someone not religious to talk seriously about good and evil, make good and evil the thing that he hold at heart the most, good and evil is everything for him, he got a good genie on one shoulder talking to him and an evil one on the other, and now that he's making a fool of himself in this reality, you'd think he's schizophrenic and need medication to change his sick and wrong mentality seeing evil everywhere; but what about it if some DNA modifications reflected a will from life systems to express itself within our minds with entities or images, or even their transformation as words? While leaving us the final decision? It's just very maladroit for now, a start, and reality oblige too. What if life through our unconscious is experimenting a new form of communication with us? What if it is trying to express an impossible situation that is limiting its optimization process or genetic implementation procedures, and it takes the form of a sickness that is mostly related to the pathing we create in our minds from what we hear or see? Even creating entities out of an amalgam of our feelings and view of things so much the problem is important, while we strictly don't give a shit about it (the truth of things, particularly principles and language associations)? Then people suffering from schizophrenia could be the next step of our evolution, the most advanced being on this earth, and we're laughing and stopping the process with medication in our reality where they can't live adequately in because evil is overwhelming under a million twisted forms. Or they could be a cry of pain from life systems, a warning that it will fail because we're too twisted.

I'm just bringing my usual genuine unique opinion to the table, in case nobody think about these concepts... And the beginnings of life new implementations are never a magic thing that work right at the start, and love could fit in that category too, it have been struggling for thousands of years to take its true form, and it is failing because we perverted it out of impatience and to satisfy human gods, we didn't give it its true place, the reality we made and defend is inadequate for it.

As for life entities, what would be the fundamental first entities to exist? A good path and a wrong one; life didn't develop humans with glands under its arms because they wouldn't want to survive there, it wrong, I mean life systems know what reality is from the genetic code it cumulated that is a reflection of reality's limitations, and this reality includes what life can stand on, that she can trust, that is always there, like parents, not just mountains, logically, who have gone through the whole process, in ideal theory, and the first developing steps of intelligence will reflect this.

I don't actually have a good and an evil genie, me it's more an exchange system between me and my other brain, which doesn't really exist, it's just psychism. And how would life create stable life evolutions of its ideal path (good) if truth is a mess of PMBBD? It can't, and such people with newly developing truth functions would be in conflict with everything of this reality, they wouldn't make sense, they'd do and suggest totally insane things, you'd go crazy with them around, particularly since your judgment is all manipulated or twisted. So sorry, humanity wouldn't take that step under this form because it is all wrong, but the principle could easily work for another kind of high consciousness specie that got a different emphasis than competition for profiting, or that prefers to develop a better set of possibilities. I often compare our attitudes to Aliens, but I got a whole nice chapter on the subject, and a logical view of the universe that limits greatly survival of life, this is like a path to me, a path where only the best survive in the fantastic complexity and perfection of everything, and I'm sorry for this wonderful reality of the best system, but to me we are far from among the best high consciousness development possible under our current mentality and system from what I understand of how life can develop, even if I'm totally convinced the human have the potential to be one of the best. So you can bet that in this reality, someone striving for truth and good and integrity is greatly disadvantaged, I have my life to prove it in part.

Inadequate selection of peaceful and neutrals

It will be doing stupidities and partying while it should be battling for future survival, consciousness is a job for the economy, doing the selective innocent for de-responsibilisation or profiting is the way to go. Humans are not people that do a job and follow trends, robots can do that, get a soul, and always try to take the best path, which is not supposed to make unhappy people, exactly the contrary, except in hell.

Parenthood

A good parenthood should be able to act as a somewhat elastic buffer between reality and childhood which is slowly disappearing as the pyramidal reality wants its own types of children, mainly for profit (from innocence at it). The reality should be able to let people trade their time to give their child more of it, and thus, more individuality. We give birth to children that are half condemned by T.V. at around 9, to become a reflection of it; its selection. Parenthood is mainly there to do the "dirty" and "hard" part, take the heat, and we must not forget that we "love" innocence like crazies in this reality; it's just perfect to have parents "loving" innocence. But there is already enough "system made" people as it is. No? Maybe we should give more value to true love and time passed parenting, even just taking care of ourselves.

Entertainment

May be a "problem" permitting some creations (mostly entertainment) to be many years ahead of their time without the best of technology to give them their greatest extent. Such entertainment is available to the top half of the pyramid and when the creation will have made its time, it will be discarded for another one. In their whole lifetime, the bottom half of the pyramid will never appreciate the creation, only on television along with PMBBD pub, and still a big part of humanity will be missing it.

Entertainment

And don't worry, I know you think I'm a moralizer and a pessimizer, the entertainment machine is more powerful than the religion machine, even if I have nothing against entertainment itself, it depend on many factors, but with the fantastic throng of people involved in doing entertainment in this reality, I'm kind of insignificant, I could almost call this economy an economy of entertainment, and that is the most fragile and invalid economy that can exist, it can easily pass from a ridiculous hyped worth to almost nothing crashing the whole world economy with it. And don't think entertainment doesn't need tons of petroleum, power and all kind of industries and people working at it while indebting and condemning people of the future. Ah! But they'll "love" it!

Addicts

After a few years, he'll like it still more, developing as an expert on the subject of his passion, he'll even say he "love" it, to boost it. If you stop giving it to him, he'll long for it, if you replace it by something that everybody else say it's better to the taste he'll answer that everybody have no taste (I think my example is not very good

Smile overload

They'll always find stupid pretty people to smile and do anything to sell us their stuff. But both the publicist and the one that accept to be a part of these twisted associations should be put to...well, some good uses like helping science, saving people or fertilizing the soil, positive things like that.

Media

But don't worry, it's not the fighters for a fairer world who are publicized positively on hype like crazy for sure, you see them a little on TV, particularly if they can be used to propagate fear and hate... The overwhelming pressure is for those who are happy whatever the reality, so it look like everybody is happy, protesters are stupid party breakers to hate. The media encourage the selection they like, and it doesn't include those that don't like them for sure. They tell people what to do, how to dress, they use PMBBD like truth and boost everything on hype, and then they're all impressed there are so many charlatans and manipulators preying on people, while it is them that created the market. And why do those people have the liberty to create a world in their image and not me?

Alcoholics

Just ask the Indians what happened to their willpower, their ways of life and all they stood for (its an example, I don't mean their ways of life was good) once many of them became dependent of alcohol, they had an invincible will. You can't imagine the worth of all what humanity lost through alcohol, an encouraged and highly publicized cultural civilization dependence. Why do you think alcohol drinking is so spread and encouraged? I already told you why, it makes the mind lazy, give priority of expression to reality implanted preconceptions, it greatly limits the transformation process of consciousness, excellent to keep people around stupid (born around moron theory...).

Stupid

Stupid sarcastic humor can sometime be good humor, and a party is not a stupid thing, neither is drinking some alcohol. But exaggeration may lead to stupidity and stupidity may lead to exaggeration... The combination of innocence, manipulation, bullshit and stupidity is a very stupid mix, that they must be stupid adults at it, and consider stupidity.

I know nothing of what I'm talking about

I have the right to say a "super" "star" is dressed like garbage; why should I be forced to see it like artistry if it looks like garbage to me? If I give her a good beating so she dress properly in public, will you say she's dressed hammered steak fashion? Too violent? Or maybe I should dip her in crazy glue then roll her in a garbage container for some fashion? Everything is art to some limited people but that's a load of bullshit, most stuff have nothing to do with artistry, and a lot of designers without tastes try to confound their garbage for an expression of realism, I say they just make scrap that attract attention, me too I can do that with your face, and yes people will look at it and talk about it!

A lot of artistry should go to the dump category, whatever there is a gang that likes it, soon we'll be overwhelmed with artist's garbage, and we'll be condemned to it because there is always a connoisseur or collector that will cry to make a museum out of it. And don't tell me I have no right to an opinion because I'm not an artist like you, a lot of people use that crappy argument on anything "you don't know since you didn't try". Should I get a life of brainwash so I end-up saying I like something? When something don't please me, I stop it, that the sane and logical path, and that applies to anything, even artist stuff like movies; I have the right to an opinion on a movie even if I quit after the first minute because I saw something that didn't please me, or the type or tangent is not my kind, and I don't have to get brainwashed to a new wave kind of movies to have an opinion of it, like vampires movies, I don't have to waste my time and fill my mind with stuff my judgment tells me to skip, I don't have to take drugs until I'm an addict to have an opinion of it, etc.

And that applies to this whole reality, I revolted against it right at the start, and this book is a proof that you don't need to experience something, even the biggest and most complex thing, to have an opinion that make sense about it. And what if I end-up making better sense than most without plunging in this reality? Then it would mean it is far worst as a hellish twisted failure than all I've described to date about it!

Pyramids of PMBBD

That could grind these ugly pyramids to dust! And to hell with the cadavers and hieroglyphs! Anyway, people have spent enough money turning them over and out in such manipulative incompetence that people are more messed-up now than ever, you failed setting their mind straight with historical truth, you failed. And you can give them as many positive significations as you can invent in your admiration of death, ill say you defend people who preferred to build tombs pyramids at the whip for gods than care for life, like their own...

So for as long as I won't live in a good reality that won't tell me where I should look or not, I'll say they were a failed tribe. As for the hieroglyphs, nothing extraordinary there, it's just a bit more evolved than cavern drawing, there were far more evolved languages at their time, made with alphabets, and technologically, they were not superior than many of their time. But yes you can compare their ways with what we have today, and like them we may disappear in the name of our religious godhood stuff (you don't necessarily have to be religious to endorse the ego-god ideology, a vast majority of people follow that philosophy unconsciously since the whole reality is based on it), and in the name of superior people who think they live in the best system, good and fair. We're mentally stagnated at a point, but that point will cost all the earth of resources and life for our tomb. And while we think we're so good with our superstars and presidents, like for the Egyptians, we won't move from here and spread on our system, while other suns are already doing it.

Like the pyramids they built to condemn their future, we've condemned future people to what we've made of the world with a debt to this system before they even exist. Humanity is stagnated and it boasts its mental evolution with an ipod, or short phrases on social expression dumps like Facebook and twitter, or what technology can fit their mentality, or by boasting over good old Democracy, or by fighting to get a sexual perversion, or your contortions and twistings more spread and better accepted, but sorry, all of this is not mental evolution at all, it is in fact its stagnation or degeneration.

As for those wonderfully extraordinary pyramids, someone emptying a good cistern of nitroglycerin in there could assuredly bring these tombs to the light of the day in one big blast and be done with those ant tunnels of the stars aligned to god's ass, because you know, there is a big secret under they say, that goes deep... something to do with aliens and it's aligned...I say they're completely nuts, it's only the exit to the 7 levels of hell, so that finally we can push back evil to its long lost kingdom. But I'm saying stupidities, yet, when these will fall under our jurisdiction we'll we will explore them anew our way. And don't worry, we'll keep them standing as a reminder of what ideal not to put humanity under, to what extent you can push people with PMBBD, to their own self enslavement to their creations, live entombing and civilization extinction. So those who say religions and pub or PMBBD have no evil effect should shut their mouth and go visit a pyramid. Or those mounds could be used as a symbol of how near we came to becoming big social insects with one big god brain, like ants...

Commandments

So they give a bunch of impossible moral laws to follow; just being near these laws is already a feat, but it gives a direction, good and evil, consciousness and ideals. And to get people to follow the path, let the directions be given by gods. The only problem here is that 2 commandments are directly meant to kneel people in front of god, the guy need total obedience and respect as his main view of what is good or evil, sounds worse than dictatorship, so I'd have a greater tendency to believe it was all written by someone having grave personality problems, like the whole bible, even the best versions...

Skeleton final truth

And don't think you can't have strong enough teeth at that age, I'll even go to the extent of believing that's how humanity survived a long time; not by running after antelopes or making bread, but eating hard seeds like handful of small peanuts and spitting what the teeth can't crush, and very young at it. Did a scientist of the skeleton ever came to that conclusion? I'm not saying it's a fact, but I think it's entirely possible, we may have eaten far more grass and seeds, with far more of an effect on intelligence development than steak.

And that includes the "first skeleton that grew humanity" mania in the name of Adam and eve to make things fit a belief, there may be unrelated skeletons we'll never find, from little ones to giant ones, so why stick to a single one and prove it like you prove saint's miracles? And you can make a competition out of it all you want, I'll blow-up all your skeletons to bits with dynamite if you use them to manipulate people with video effects. You believe every human skeleton is still there for your finding? That none have become shit? That all humans buried their dead in respect to gods as a sign of evolved intelligence? What if one erased them as a contrary spirituality? Burned them to make the spirit escape? Only prayers to god and tombs can prove human superiority? Humans wouldn't do that in your limited IQ? Humans can do anything, and yes, maybe we all come from "Adam and eve" (2 initial beings), it is possible (hardly) in my view of life, but it is a fact that your skeleton quest is solely based on those that buried them or left them around, and that you see things as a line of history; if a skeleton appears somewhere else at a later date than the first ones you found, you automatically think it is a descendent, logical with the fact that we all come from the chimpanzee and those exist solely in Africa, but are you so sure? What I want to say is that some facets could be truth, even all of the story, but always keep a doubt, because someday, maybe in a million years, you'll be hit by a new factor that will break your vision in two, and that will be very painful on our mind as a civilization, always keep a doubt.

And I know I'm went a little overboard here, but you understand that a skeleton never brought something good to my life, and I don't think we'll write our true history with skeletons. Furthermore, religions should get out of the skeleton business, and I don't want land taken for my skeleton unless you plant a fruit tree over it. If you stick to that then I won't start, and yes very old skeletons are very valuable, but leave me out of your death "spirituality".

Fuzzy zombies

We are deaf and blind, we are dependent from pub and hype, we cannot understand the meaning and value of things, we are funny zombies condemned to death. But let's have a marriage, ruin ourselves escaping reality, everybody attach itself a smile and babble through video effects, "applaud" entertainment will thrive, gadgets he too, while we'll hysterically fuck as much as we can online because it's the new open age. That's what television, publicists and their hype machine will have done with the human soul. But that's kind of pessimist.

Star love

So here I am visiting this earth again, to see if things are getting better here, to experience your reality and form an opinion of it.

As for my love, I cannot invite her to any place, it must be clean, she must understand it, like it, not fear, she must be welcomed and happy of her visit. She is a sensible woman flying on principles, and like me she is a powerful enemy of ego gods; your old gods of antiquity? We destroyed them in a revolution at some point long ago, they almost lead us to extinction, and we'll fight anything that look like it and try to spread, they are the absolute worst thing that can happen to an evolved specie, sorry for you, they destroy history and love, they cause sufferings, misery, injustice, death and extinctions, all that at the maximal level possible. They condemn whole races to their ways, and they exploit everything for it. You are free of them from long ago, but you must now get free of their systematization. You must steer away from their philosophy, that's why we're here; become independent and fair or else.

And that's why love is so important to us, because of all what it implies; the more you know all its connection the better and the more lasting. It is so powerful you can destroy the most powerful civilizations of gods with it, you never end learning lessons from it, and you never end regretting your mistakes from lack of it too, or from twisting it. It is the greatest and most beautiful thing, but it only thrive on the best terrain and with the greatest care, you need a civilization of civilized people for it to thrive.

Now, we have no time to waste on poor experiences, we will have more work to do and we need allies that won't kneel. That's why I'm writing this, even if it's in big part to surprise my love as she go nuts when I do these kinds of things, and it costs nothing versus the value it can have.

Our quest is still young, we may eventually have to fight fantastic battles against evil gods, and we may die, we're not beyond that, so we take things seriously, with a pinch of salt and pepper to tolerate the worst. So no, we never let a planet full of ego-god ideal bred people get away with it, the best we can do is to limit it so it will be worthless a long time. You understand that whatever you do, as long as superior unfair gods are not controlled, they can always disembark and try to resuscitate their ideal, raze yours, manipulate and brainwash you back to their standards. That means you got to prepare all the defense you can against their possibility, and if they succeed at resizing you small, grow back rejecting their ideal, hide and protect what you fought for so it can be revealed by time, and when we pass by again, it will probably mean we can associate; you've become independent, you're acting fair, you'll probably be in harmony with life and preparing to travel further.

When we take a vacation somewhere it must be enjoyable, that's what my love need to be happy, and it proves we can be allies. I'm a test of that; if I end-up living hell then I'll take the form of my enemy while my love will prepare death and destruction. She doesn't like to do what I do and she doesn't like to get frustrated looking at how stupidly some reacts to her intelligence. Furthermore, she definitively won't make an incognito experience if she's at risk of sufferings, whatever mental or physical.

What she likes very much are civilization days, she makes big and long plans and preparations to do her best or worse those days. She'd particularly like earth's Halloween, make a visit and flabbergast a civilization in wonders, or she could spread horror and terror you'd never recover from, who will die quickly? Who will suffer the most? Or she could choose a love day to make an appearance, if such a thing existed on earth, and make a year long feast, or start revealing the hate your love desecrations are hiding, to the point that you'd start self-destructing.

She wonders at diversity, she'll have a tendency to see a crushing majority of the same thing in all its infinitesimal variations as a waste of time, space and resources, down to earth speaking. The worst thing I can do is invite her in a place where there is one main diversity all piled up in the middle of the place with a few exceptions sticking out under the pressure with yellowing stickers.

My personal fun while visiting a civilization is to play their games or witness them building sky machine, particularly the interstellar kind, she'll get an arm twisted for sure if I see this, but the most fabulous thing I can do is to get a civilization flowering, surprise her totally by awaiting her with a fabulous flower, but that's overkill.

My man part, what she loves me the most for, is that I experience things around a bit before she takes the risk of a vacation, she can sit beside me for years listening to my adventures, all my stories, she hold my hand while I draw my imagination in front of her, she ask all kind of questions while I make her live all kind of emotions and love explodes between us, I guide her with my opinions, and whatever we have to crush whole civilizations, we do it looking into each other with a smile.

And that's all I have to do, I'm a man, my mind works differently than hers, I can take a lot to death, no problem, even if she may get quite angry about it, even if it's very hard for me. Willful suffering is something that troubles her deeply, systematic suffering is something she simply can't take, but we both know someone must experience a world to have an idea about it, experience it as a part of it, to know how "people" there grow, in what situation they are in, what attitude they have between themselves, what attitude they have toward life, what happens to people, their minds, to love, all kind of things like that, because it is here that we're from. I can take ugly difficulties and I do it with her in mind as I make an opinion of my experience, whatever it's not expressed the way the people like it.

She'll understand me, she'll feel my scars as she read my hands, never will she be disgusted by these and she'll never see me as sick in the head. She knows how I form my opinion, she knows why I talk this way or that, she knows I'm a good person, she trusts me and she go crazy of the way I tell her my opinion, stories, how I describe things. I'll touch her heart and that is unbelievably valuable to her, she grows from that, she makes laws from that, principles and she carry those like a treasure, it's her playground, and she always find all kind of strange questions to ask that I have strictly no logical answers to provide about, she is a magician at that, and however flabbergasted I sometimes get, she just seem to love me more for it.

Now, don't lose the map, even if you already did, don't use this story as an argument to tell me I'm this or that, I just wrote a few lines about some spirituality, and it is not how I see love and everybody is different.

99% failure

I should say a few things about the occupy wall street sex movement, first, I wonder if this 99% thing is a good logo, I don't think this protest represent 99% of people, particularly if they are 1% fighting for them while they encourage what they fight against; politicians too say they represent most people... The evidence to me is that they fight systemized unfairness, so that touches me particularly, but I'm not a big fan of an encampment to change things; people got a comfortable place to go to? Then they shouldn't waste energy doing camping, let the camping be the symbol of what they defend, let the campers be the ones who aint got better. But regrouping at such a point in the morning can make sense, you can defend the campers if they are in trouble too, if they got good communication people can quickly run to defend them any time of the day, and if they fail, they didn't lose their most effective strength. But in that optic you're still better occupying and defending a building, if you don't let the police in, but they'll say you are a fire hazard or you don't pay the electricity so they'll be entitled to cut your power and tell media people to put the emphasis on poor sanitary conditions, an the most likely to change nothing or worsen things, anarchists most likely... so you'll need a generator and for that you'll need means, which seems like a big difficulty for such an important quest, no? Strange that when you represent 99% you can't get more means than that; none of all those superstars we admire and all those philanthropists publicized everywhere put some of their money to help? Oh, sorry, I think there was an actor that showed his face, that should be enough.

Still, occupying a building doesn't make much more sense, it would look like dirty permanence, an embassy for the poor kind of place, and constantly staying at a point you'll just satisfy the criteria needed to end-up besieged one way or the other; you'll fight on too many fronts while your enemy can put its finger straight on you, you'll fight temperature, constant police harassment, sanitizing, and you'll develop a stinking philosophical mess that you'll never get out of to the point of totally discarding the value of your effect on an ideal that will do worse than the actual situation by being invaded by big mouth singing freedom or democracy etc, unless you want to do another peace and love mass party, which in a sense, lead to the current ego batch, if you're to shoot yourself in the foot...

Such a protest would needs a project too, something that will be their source of leadership, that would show a different path, to have massive and sustained association not only based on temporary emotions, and all there is socialism stuff and the Venus project, you need something that will include as many goals as possible in a single package, something concrete, more valuable to people than just general principles, a plan. I'm just thinking about my stuff, but it change nothing to the idea. Next is the effect; it must be overwhelming, you need repetition with some broken windows and bashed cars, to keep the emotive level high in minimal blood. People need to get out every day by the hundreds of thousands in as many cities as possible, and you are still better if you can provide disagreeable surprises even if those take a month to prepare and are not a surprise anymore when the action moment arrives.

I'll add, even if that's against the peace "law", that you should have the right to defend yourselves and that means some fighting is normal, in fact a peaceful procession like we're doing a national funeral is the abnormal behavior, if emotive people end up rejected and you keep the cold psychopath that nothing can shake or that laugh at everything because you're scared of the opinion of media people, then you're creating a selection I'll fight against, you're doing the evil fighting against evil thing with good sandwiched between the two and taking the hits. So you can't let the police do what it wants, you are leading, you took the lead by going out and trying to change things, don't transfer that lead to the system you are fighting against; you decide, keep the lead, you should not let the police lead you around, do you see the police leading people around in countries that succeed at kicking their bosses out? No, the police take their hole or they fail, or things degenerate in civil war, but don't worry, if you kick a policeman all your enemies will jump on the opportunity to say you're a violent, automatic evil, go to prison or die, but you know what I think of peaceful angry, lucky I can manage a big retribution battery...

And whatever happens, endorse your responsibility fully as a group, don't divide and throw responsibility around because you don't like how one of your fighter fight. Unless he kills don't reject your fighters, get more, and if things come to full blown war, go to it proudly, you have the right to fight systemized unfairness, you have the right to kill to stop it, and not only that, someone got to take the responsibility of doing it.

Finally, be wary of all the vampires around that will try to steal your effect to make you fit in the system, like those who loudly sing Democracy in every protest, or artists or magazines that will try to define you to create a genre, they have the right, but don't embark in their game or you'll just become a brick on a pyramid. In fact, you should rebuke any media manipulator define your protest because they will do so to reduce it to an aspect, so that potential protesters stay at home from a false idea of what's going on, or because the specific protest is not their concern.

Even if I'm criticizing, they are the people that make the most sense today because they're doing something about an extremely grave problem that's been going on for millennia. Still, I don't think they'll succeed, even if they protest for years, since half those protesters are no better than the most unfair; they don't care about the future or others, give them enough money and they'll quit the parade, and isn't it strange that a lot of protesters are there because they aint got a job? Give them a job and they'll be happy?

There's not much data in my thinking, it's at the minimum.

But we must never forget that there's always a better way, a better ideal, some good ways, some bad ways.

Freezing is no better than burning, I don't want to live in a freezer

Maybe such creatures were living in the world trade center... but creatures are cool, monsters then, but it's hard to scare a monster

As always it has started from the bottom and the higher you climb, the less efforts are made.

I'd almost compare the humanity we made as a happy kid with down syndrome, and a skill...

For those who defend the rich by saying they can do what they want with their money, like going in space, catch this

Now tell me, is it hate or is it love? What is the part of each? Would I have reached my goal without hate or without love?

My view of love will probably not satisfy the he who thinks love is bullshit

Lead is the name

Well, I got a resource here; lead is the name, so stay hidden in your luxury hole and sell your gold. When you'll be down at my level so I may look at your face without feeling inferior or exploited then maybe I'll see you differently, but don't worry; you're far from alone in my ammo distribution list, if that can be of some consolation.

Maybe I shouldn't underestimate reality too much here, and when reality hits... it's just that I'll have time to die a billion time here! Or maybe there's another way, by preserving the legacy of the harmony between my 3 entities, feelings, logic, unconscious, conscious, sexual, mental, whatever, that's more than 3

Steel city

Talking about aluminum and steel, and interstellar vessel and environmental bunker, you should even consider moving the city itself! Like making all the bottom inside out of steel plates or nanocarbon. Maybe not, it's just a weird idea, just making the city is already crazy, so that would be like insane, but who know what gods can do...Then you calculate the weight of it and prepare the nanocarbon wires...Want more of this? You could make the stadium detachable as an option, meaning if you lift the city the stadium stays on the ground and you got a center hole under the city where you can plant a flaming device. You may want to keep the thing airtight in the scenario where the lift is meant for another planet though, with big tanks of oxygen and water...But all that is just me thinking crazy, just forget it, or do it? I bet god would want to give it a try, see if he's got the bicep...And that would pass in the annals of top insane possibilities the UI has witnessed life doing...But seriously, a flower to life is already the greatest project of the universe is my belief, something that would put the UI out of compute for a long time. We now understand that life and the universe are extraordinary beyond words, and we have respect and regrets and pride and changes to show for it, so let's reward all involved, us included, with the most beautiful project, but no need to ruin everything for it, making the reality is the goal, and we'll need the whole world of expertise on that.

The goal is to have what you want forwarded to the appropriate people, based on fairness values, based on principles. So money is not the goal, the goal is the food in your plate.

Swearing

That applies to my whole work btw, "A Flower To Life", I swear upon all the entities I believe in, and that's no small swearing when you invented your own spirituality, that the facts of my life I describe reflect the truth, and you know there is "nobody" more paranoid about the truth than me.

See myself through all eyes

Bonus special effects

The psychotic effect

The schizoid effect

The paranoid effect

The retard effect

The weird effect

The accusatory effect

The saintly effect

How much crazy you can be without losing it completely.

A possibility is not a fact, but it is more akin to beliefs

It is the job of the stash of money to permit all of this to happen and to create clean, nice and efficient infrastructures that anybody can easily visit anytime, nothing hidden. But again all that would hardly rarely work in this reality as the people would be under all kind of different pressures from all kind of different directions, not necessarily related to the work they do, but resulting in failures for everybody except the ones possessing the most will or wisdom.

Next, if hard times are coming, the ones taking the most are supposed to be the first to help for the most; that's the minimal responsibility they took with the money. And whatever they took it from hands that didn't want it, they took it, and money is high consciousness life value, there is much responsibility associated proportionally to possessed quantity.

We have made an automatic profiting machine that people have no idea where it is headed to, yet, everybody work to keep it going because it is impressive besides a "tribe", if you compare to this or that country...or any other stupid reasons.

Cigarette

As for cigarette, I surely won't say it is good, but things are becoming ridiculous; the way scientists are going this reality will discredit all my writing on the base that I'm a smoker (small smoker) and thus my brain is degenerated, my opinions are worthless, it's smoke screen. It's like the part where people displaced some frustration on alternative sexualities has been switched to smokers now that it's illegal to laugh about these things. So smokers are mentally degenerated these days, a scientist proved it, a smoker is a bad thing that people should run away from, they transmit dementia, they stink, their brain can blow-up in a mess anytime, or their chest can suddenly explode like they got a sniper shot in the back, look at the disgusting photos of what happens to smokers, they are child killers! At least I'm capable of smiling a little at my problem, contrarily to people with alternative sexualities. Smoking is terribly bad, but I'm not bad or wrong for it, what is wrong is industrials putting chemicals or dependence increasing agents in it.

China cheap crap

As for china's garbage, again the problem is not China itself (for the racist and nationalism indoctrinated) the problem is the system that pushes production to where people cost the less. If China start giving higher base salaries, then production will slowly move to another place. So in the end the real problem is a system where top businessmen try to pay the least possible amount to their workforce. People need laws to control their ego and megalomaniac dreams of control and profiting, these laws are presently inadequate, the political system is inadequate, we didn't build a world for the advancement of life; we built a world for the advancement of profiteers

So cheap is not evil, it's just the evolution of production toward lower prices. Often those products are even better quality than the "signature" stuff and they permit poor people to have a little materialism in their lives. It's a competition out there, everybody is competing to take as much as possible (lifelong historical indoctrination through mass pub), and while a lot of people are not even living on the line of necessity, they still need to buy and sell crap to make the economy work.

We'll never know what is this big Canada destroying secret he could not divulge to the court, we'll never know, there is no time capsule to manipulate the crime with time, too big, so probably all traces of the secret have been destroyed or manipulated...But it's still in Jean Chretien, and maybe the president of the time...

Anarchy

Well, maybe, I won't argue about that, it's like arguing about the definition of anarchy with an anarchist; they have too much of a malleable (religious) definition of it, which doesn't actually include the definition "ordinary" people have of it...

Terrorism

The same thing will happen with radicalization, it will become a fourre-tout to condemn any idea or action that could have the potential to hurt the system.

Like when they say "kind regards" "Kindly yours" "Thanks kindly for your insults", you know it's all fake, a machination, a devilish illusion...

Like missionaries, they say they want to help people, they are superiorly good, and their knowledge is undisputable.

Because, yes, left right is a bit like counting on one's fingers, I mean, we all go either more left or more right, no?

War after world trade

It lead to the biggest protest in human history they say, and what was the effect? Nothing because there was nothing to gain...

This self-indoctrinated way of thinking applies to the rich too...

Imagine when you understand things like that by yourself as a thinking kid, your life won't be normal for sure....But adults don't really care.

The percentage, or size of protest over such situation is proportional to the care people give to it in their lives, which amounts to a little more than the time they took to read this...

So the parasites are in fact the protesters, the monster is the system. To "kill" the monster you need to weaken it more than what he can fight off.

I had to write to explain that pigs eat anything and don't clean their mess...

I'm not talking about criticizers, priests and gurus who do their necessary job

Evil, entropy, death, failure, dust to dust, for life it is the failure of its reason for existence, the failure to survive and explore.

They have been made to meet any verbal expression of their wrongs with hostility (they don't have any, just past mistakes...)

Perfection, pride, intelligence and more, all are under the same relative definition.

Educated innocent among the most ignorant

I'm human

I know it contains a formulae supposed to instill pity upon injury, that you're full of proven techniques to show how human you are, but it doesn't work with people like me, lucky you they are not many.

Logistics

A problematic building can be charged or overwhelmed if sufficient confidence, concentration and explosive power can be applied, evidently, this is a "in the heat" situation, or one where a higher number of causalities can be accepted for a guaranteed result, but the speed can't be much higher than the greatest mass, or fast logistics will become problematic.

Fearful

Walking away is not the solution, if you walk away you create a "natural selection" of people who don't walk away (which is an already done deal btw, people actually don't walk away, let's see where you'll go with that philosophy, I'm ready to bet people will keep on walking straight on until the whole planet go kaputt.)

Creativity

Creativity is as powerful, beautiful and as valuable a word as love, and desecrating creativity with manipulations in the name of profit will devaluate a civilization as certainly as doing it with love, even worse. All what affects masses should be emphasized as neutral from manipulations, and it won't stop people making extraordinary Imax movies and blasting aliens to bits, don't think I don't like blasting evil aliens to bits, I want such movies for sure, but I'd like it to see some aliens as intelligent and as involved as humans getting into it someday too.

Easy way

The ego-gods association is easier, it already exists, got invincible momentum, the earth is covered in his hand, you can include absolutely everything in there, he control everything, possess everything, create everything, he squashed the planet flat and invented life and time and took a break on the 7'th day. If life dies it is because of the wrath of god, if we don't understand something, god do, stuff miracles and scientist in there too, add some pressure to make them tolerate, accept each other, peace, "love", see, it works; believe! You can embark anything on that train, adieu!

Good old scholars

And don't think that if they reset time to or made the religion so big and spread that they didn't manipulate scholars passing by, some money to shut-up? Fear of crucifixion? (torture). Never underestimate manipulation, and while some won't want to write lies, they may make a deal with omission, and you don't know if you only got one aspect of the people doing history at the time, maybe there were 100 but they all "disappeared" and only 10 remain, and Christianity spent tons of energy running about selecting what they liked.

Fine in the head

Now, as you will witness my mental construction (V 1.8 stable) you will undoubtly clash with psychiatry, psychiatry can only say that my mind is fine and healthy, even if I accuse psychiatry of having dangerous aspects, like being in part a life interfering reality adaptation mechanism hidden under common mental (reality) problems (like religions using common sense and fears to manipulate people into its embrace), the pope would probably say that I'm fine and healthy too, but if I'm fine in my head, what the fuck is wrong with my experience of reality?

Revolted

As for people who feel bad about what I sometimes write, don't forget you are mostly looking at what invokes something in you. For others, put the hat on if it fits, wear it along, I'll try to provide a way you can remove it before the end of my work. You can still wear it after, but people may recognize those you left everywhere as yours, so be careful.

Baby stuff

If you don't believe just for the show, not because of intelligent arguments, you think that pointing at other people's logical fallacies is what makes you intelligent, but the joke is on you because you did not truly question, you just took a stance of rejection and denial taking you to the logical next step of the ego-gods ideology, and one of its goals is divide to reign (or take). So you are creating more division, competition, conflict, hate, but you fundamentally defend the same ideology, you are just argumenting on magic, baby stuff, both babies are in a competition of who is making the most noise crying, a facet of being an ego driven person, overfed and over entertained continuously crying and fighting babies, and I'm out of patience, you should be adults by now!

Adult babies are monsters, particularly when accumulate sufficient wealth to complain they are tired of working hard

Drop all your guns

Fundamentals here would mean dropping the ego ideology which is pretty much all your guns, I mean, all religions and the Democracy-Capitalism business or any system based on the powerful being at the top whatever that person thinks itself representative because the masses made for the system voted for him in their beliefs that everything is fine since it's "Democratic". The same applies to those who are "just" a symbol for the money (like the queen that is just a symbol for the money, they say...). So the pressure selection is made to fit people to the reality and it is too big; we're a pyramidal reality not a stick reality and humanity needs a wheel reality, rubber and chocks.

The end

I wrote about all the worst subjects one can write about, and you'll just leave the effort to rot to oblivion because a politician, which is the top in "public relations" and speaking, can't talk about these things? Only country competition politics? What kind of a failure is that? Ah! You got institutions to condemn these subjects in all their variations...

I lost my youth being revolted and hateful! Did it make me happier? Now that my hacking through this hell is almost done, I want to drop my sabers and find some things that will make me happier.

Evil humidification

Except for the batch that got their evil sense exacerbated, they got a tendency to feel me and stick around, and you got to explode them because they're the most dangerous ones; evil humiliated.

The end

Maybe life will contribute to our show; if we are to end things, let's do it beauty! And to hell with the poor and all those innocents for whom their job, all of a sudden, will look very insignificant in face of their needs, but they'll have given everything, and gotten nothing, ego innocence oblige, which goes straight to the dump at best, no, the leftovers do, because it is food with some kind of wrapping that the first vampire around can sink its teeth in, or plant a child in...

I'm more optimist in my pessimism that people are pessimist in their optimism, as it should be in hell, but I mean, we both see things gloomy but act inversely, so

They are like weird or half failed citations, bloopers, souvenirs...

I'm ready to bet the pope could get that country out of troubles with one of his boogies...

If you can move buildings or a space shuttle around, then you can move a football field too.

Or get their finger stuck in the Star-Door...well...stay out.

For now, I'm not impressed, the question is, should I be impressed? Like, wow?

It has nothing to do with your "simulations" of killing that you think make you a great warriors; these are child's games.

I want people to show at their best, and I want them with muscle, not as life's enemies.

You can still say I have a problem in the head, I have nothing to say anymore concerning the subject anyways.

You don't do that all dirty and stinking, or the nose in the air in self-superiority, in jealousy, amongst bed bugs, sex microbes and syringes, with a rotting cadaver under the bed.

Now, I hope someone won't tell me such a hole is too big to dig while they wouldn't care digging one twice as big to take gold from the earth...

So, forget about Las Vegas, go to hell if you want a city like that...

In a totally interdependent reality, don't fart a microbe or you'll sent the whole planet into crisis!

Life is my motivation, and I am life, and so I'm my own motivation, which is true...

I'm a fan of feeling people, I believe that's supposed to be the path of human intelligence, among the why we exist, so yeah.

Fuck you and bow slave! Woops, I don't know what I have lately, I just want to authorize everybody!

The rich do (whatever the form of these things, eh? ah,ah,ah...but it's just a parenthesis.)

So it is always a matter of how reality deals with the handicaps the it gives birth to.

It not because truth has become artist stuff that it doesn't exist or that we shouldn't question facts or seek it...

The most fundamental and evident difference between man and woman is its sex; you're quite sure of things when you see the sex.

At least if I created hype it was a natural process, since motivations levels are supposed to be somewhat appropriate to the level of the signification of things...For now it's flat out nothing...

Ego matadors?

As soon as those ego matadors start using PMBBD on people, you see those monsters living in luxury with an admiring population.

Journalism

Nothing will stop journalists backed up by their "new" "hot" and "show" throngs stuck in the "disco" era from finding me whatever I hide at the bottom of the deepest dungeon.

Judgment timer

Oil depletion, it is logical that if you use half the oil then you did something with it, whatever the competence.

Homocristmas

Maybe not Christmas, but that would be weird, the biggest family party of the year where you dress as Santa Claus and exchange gifts with the homosexual theme dancing all around.

Highs and lows

Always think 3D and height, that's where human space is used at its best, and it's hard to be claustrophobe and agoraphobic at the same time, you'd be terribly limited...

Do nothing big style

Do you think the G20 and the UN of the time, which had a chance at changing thing, will be a synonym of association and good? You think people won't have other people to admire than those that failed them?

Projects

The projects that don't fit in the reality don't succeed because the necessary attitude don't exist in the popular selection. Good luck if your project includes a reformulation of spirituality and philosophy...

Traitors

You want to be a traitor? So be it, act as such and you will be, we exactly know where their actions can lead, and traitors are people that had hidden bad intents, and when we'll eventually see your true face, we'll blast it open.

Pedophile or not

Like pedophiles, doing their things on the weakest or more innocent or naïve instead of helping them if they got potential. Are you a pedophile? Then prove it, take this gun and go kill someone (it's just a motto I made for gun enthusiasts...)

The game

You see the earth as your Nintendo game, and you're setting the limitations of the game, and now the whole earth play the same game, are you happy?

Cosmetics party

People are born condemned to a machine that profit from everything, that has no respect for life, for the human, and no good consciousness, except to protect its taxpayers... So people didn't actually truly cared about the future as a global mass, we mostly defended what ego made and reacted after things happened. And now, more people are starting to think, not about the fundamentals where the true problems are, but on cosmetics while having as much fun as possible.

Racist affection

And it's particularly easy if I don't feel respected, but I understand that it's the same kind of problem as calling someone a nigger, even if you say it infectiously, they can do it among themselves like an in house thing, and I guess that applies to Canadians, only they have the right to say bad things among themselves, but you know what? I'm Canadian too! Yey!

Ditch the car or shut up

I live by my consciousness, even if it forces me to reject almost everything from this reality, and that's why I can use moralization, you cannot tell me to shut-up because I'm polluting with my car too, I aint got a car, and that gives me the right to do it on those that paint themselves a green smart ass image of change to de-responsibilize and point fingers at me while they should ditch the car before criticizing me.

Time

Don't mess yourself with your view of time, I understand that everything moves, what I talk about is what is generally accepted as a vision of time moving forward for everybody, like the 24 hours clock that may come to be different once we colonize a new planet, to fit a greater universal constant, or to bring our own human constant of time, or to have a different one connected to another constant.

Going back

And forget about going back, I already explained how it works; pressure and pressure and pressure while people are divided and not fighting to keep good principles or ideals, and you want to know what happens in the end when we let ego or jealous people in something good? You can't get them out of there, history is made, and you're condemned to it.

Old activism professionals

You're supposed to be the greatest activists ever? I guess most would prefer the "youth" they never end spitting on to do it, anyway, they're supposed to live forever, and fuck with the "superficial" youth to stay young while being a medical ruin to keep on looking young! And while the youth clean your great mess you'll spit further on them by saying they're a bunch of violent under evil testosterone, that the ugly is their fault while you're the one that just finished your shift at bossing around.

Speed reality

Still, under that form, drug can be seen as an emergency button; when we can function under minimal drug, that leave a big headroom of some kind of boost for a fantastic surge of civilization power, in case something bad happens, you take a bunch of drugs and it should give fantastic energy or skill for some time, which can be used in many ways, but their power dwindles with time while creating limits in reality and..and no, that's not convincing, I was going somewhere with that but it went nowhere, really, don't take drugs to overdrive your civilization.

No credits

Anybody playing with the liberties of people through mass PMBBD will be discredited. Presently, almost all words that can be associated to good principles are perverted to an enlarged meaning for evil to encroach, liberty is one along with love, when I hear these word, an alarm bell in my head and a start running in circles like crazy. These and many other words and principles, we must watch them, care for them and never let mediocre people paint themselves a bullshit out of them.

Assholes stay away

We don't want someone who absorbed and embraced everything from ego reality in the name of "openness" to come vomit their problems and lacks on us. We don't want to start with drug addicts, whores, mediocre illuminated people, liars, etc, who will suddenly flock my way like they were just waiting to find someone that think like themselves, like I'll provide the justification for a life of them pissing me off?! No way! Failed adults and assholes stay away from me now. You were ready to kill me for anything stupid? While you think you're good? I've had enough of tolerating the cheap lies and crappy competition and condescendence! You don't care about the principles I wrote about, you do to boast, you're there to do the contrary of all I want, I repair problems, you shake my hand and spit behind my back out of spite as a reflection of your own mediocrity, and you'll cause more problems, and I'm tired to the death of dealing with everybody's problems like they should be mine, while I already told you all about your problems, you want to profit and do the problem again? Then I'm out of option; either I give you this world which you already took, or zap you out to be done with your lamentations that there are no limits in anything except for everybody else than you.

People not born

Now, we must not forget people not born, we must find a way to condemn them to our reality. Weird, I can't find a way that makes sense to do it, it's a particularity of hell I suppose...We'll leave inexistence and taxing stars, and inflation (and subsequently inflated people) out of this, we want them independent, they can become citizens of father reality later if they want, we won't chain them...

C-130 revolt extinguishing

Furthermore, we must not forget that when this reality will start understanding things may be coming to revolt, it will increase tremendously its production of gadgets, and entertainment and gadgets, they'll drop the stuff direct on protesters to calm them, don't forget that, in super hard to open packaging, and pills and religious stuff too, and PMBBD to hold people together, or to win as much people to its side as possible in case too much division in the population happens.

Contact

You think aliens would presently come here and watch us do the inferior or superior, or act unfair? No, no alien contact, except bombs or meteor contact. You think they wouldn't study our attitudes? Judge us? They'll do it in truth from the past to the present; you always got to have a minimum of class, not that anger has class, but to aliens anger would mean

Pride implosion

Oh! It's true; I'm crazy for making associations remember? And psy, scientists and publicists are not for making a thousand more, and far worse, than mine; they are part of a pyramid so they are protected, encouraged and listened to. What a fantastic power it is to appropriate and control the skill of making associations when you have so many people watching you on television like you're gods, you must have one hell of a constitution not to explode your pride all over the place! I know, I know, you let others invent little ass associations, but you know it's not in their job description, or on television, it's hardly worth your breath so much your bullshit envelops well your argumentation...I will even tell you right away that I sometimes exaggerate, or dramatize or make wrong associations, and I may say bullshit too, even if I try not to, but I don't boast myself as an expert or I don't carry a diploma as a proof that people must listen to me, I'm not on television, I don't have a fan club...

A land of opportunity

I understand that I can be an opportunity to profit from, one you don't get often; if your reality crashes in your face, drop bombs or overheat on you, it may end up to be the fault of people like me, you just had to make it nice for me, I can invent things... I did that with my life, some will surely wish me interesting turn of phrases full of words not in the dictionary, still others may have seen so many movies that they'll see me as the psychopath baddie that will end the world, religion can always say I'm the antichrist, maybe I'll even receive a "loving" James bond savior of the god world in the face!

Burn the ice

They're lying saying humanity is responsible for only 3% of Co2 production, I put that at 20% very minimum when taking all factors into consideration, like limiting absorption of Co2, and that's just for Co2, I didn't include all gases which give the same or worst effect we are responsible for, like methane, which will get out at the megaton once the north pole melt, while industrialists are all jumping happily about it because they'll become richer from the new resources to exploit there, if only they had the right to throw gas on the ice and light it to get the ice to melt faster, as long as there is a few cents a gallon of profit to be made, while growing people to do these jobs as critical to their survival, bitumen sand style of ego brain crap-out fiasco...

Cold war engines

I'm sure there are engine designs that can presently do the job, we don't need a million different ones, we need adequacy for a start, good lasting engines that don't pollute much, from small to big, from high torque to high rpm, then we'll develop from that to end-up with as much complexity as wanted for different facets, like prettiness; ugly stuff is always better temporary.

Ultra low abnormal activity

Now, I didn't talk about the sun which has been at ultra low abnormal activity for many years and is now just burning a little more, (while another scientist will say exactly the contrary, I know). We all know the sun is a logical direct factor in the heating or cooling of things, no sun no heat, but it's not heating like never before, even if interrelated life systems could command it.

Christ city design

Stupid enough to make it Christ city, with rock and roll songs out of it. Yeah, bringing together all the churches, making a gigantic and scary gothic castle where parents go remember piously their innocence or indoctrination, while their children are running in dark alleys and tunnels, hearing big voices of predicators of the end, flashing gloomy paintings, daemons, old Christ statues and exorcist bits of flashing movies, as they advance in hell, witnessing ghosts, angels, armies of bloody virgins running after people with clots, dead Christ raising from graves and traversing waters...

Who cares

What people really need is the goal of caring for life and humanity well implanted in their mind, it is all an attitude thing, but didn't I already said that? My gross view is a "slack" way to see it, it is there to tell people somewhat to what limits they can go; you can have prostitution, drugs, crime, profits, is what I explain, but there is a limit to its wide spreading or exaggeration, and the same applies to principles and love, you won't do better than ego reality if you try making a reality of straight "saints", but you don't make attitudes that can easily lead to evil your most valuable ones for sure, and there will always be guns and killings, I just told you not to make a "saint' thing, but such things must be "systemized" not to end-up in wrong hands or as a business.

Leadership

I can take things an hour at a time, but I know in the past that I can get angry to rage, within that hour, and it is where judgment fails me the most, I think I'm done with this, but I'm scared I could make a fool of myself.

Lick ass leadership

I pointed fingers at things and attitudes and said why, and I used some moralization to try to force people to look at themselves since nothing succeeded at it in history anyway. Licking ass leadership makes ass lickers,

Resp

ect yourself

Because you need to get money to meet pretty women, and the selection that fit will answer that I just have to encourage their wonderful reality by getting a job, or using their prostitution market, and the lower end of it at it. Is that the only option left to me? No sir, that's worse than any other solution if I'm to respect myself.

Dual batteries

you probably need a long lasting dual battery system that recharge fast, and since there are power poles everywhere, probably the original idea included recharging devices along roadways to recharge whatever quick battery in turn, meaning you run on a single battery and when one is empty, a light flashes for recharge while it automatically switch power drain to the other.

Enjoy plastic dolls, that don't feel plastic, maybe it's robotic...

Which are often not as pretty without the make-up, or surgery, but we can enjoy plastic dolls no problem, for the "super" "stars" ego overextensions, taking the space of throng of far fresher talent in my opinion, with an added whole lot of more humble qualities, until they fall in the big ego self-importance insignificance stuff too).

I want love...

I want love to be an exemplary success of humans caring for something good. We don't want to fail right from the start as people rutting all year round like hormonal social animals out of control who are paranoid of "monotony".

Priorities

What is cool while following the path of history is to find priorities at the right place at the right time which is absolutely not the case with in this situation, or for most situations as it is...

Chapters

Some subjects have whole chapters as a general emphasis, but initially there was no emphasis on anything, there was not even chapters, but every revision categorized subjects better, until the last revision where I noticed that I formed lots of islands around subjects. I'll redesign a few chapters eventually in function of some particularly concentrated and long subjects, eventually, for now you can search for usual words since my it back to subjects,

3 chapters at a time

Good old time, I was quickly putting my ideas together at the time, today is' more like one paragraph at a time, sometimes I actually work on 3 phrases at a time, or work on 2 parts of the same subjects different chapters.

Guided meteor strike

And since there is a meteor that will risk hitting the earth in the not so far future too, "they" say, we'll want to be there, proud, whatever our pains, and we'll want to remove that thing, but since it probably won't happen, we could use some money plant or dig equipment, antennas and cameras in or something and jet it with a radio control to a different orbit, maybe even around the earth. All that may be ridiculous but we got to think of what we can accomplish with these passing opportunities in the future, it's a satellite that passes nearby after all, maybe someday we'll want to do such things on a comet we see once every thousands years, and we'll have some experience.

Internet

In this reality, it is logical that it is polluted over and out with profiteers of all kind, you can't tell your opinion without having a manipulative system to standardize it, it's full of heavy pornography that jumps at your face, and pub. Pay me if you want the liberty to stuff my mind or try to make me an accepting part of your ideal! But it's the form it took for this reality and you know who got the means to set the liberties of others, including using PMBBD in liberty, and limit knowledge and profit from it (like fighting against and standardizing torrents sites where people can download divergent knowledge), it is a matter of freedom or liberty they'll say, which is bullshit.

Invade the crack

Nothing else, and we won't waste time in diplomacy and babbling, we know exactly where that leads, we have learned our lessons; we won't let ego invade any little crack with compassion and tolerance and pardon and acceptance, then another little crack, then a continual little pressure this way and that until, well...

The end of innocence

I'll have proven with my work that 2000 marked the end of adult innocence, which should have happened long ago, because I did live as an innocent (more so than everybody around me), and this is the result; I proved everything is there for anybody who cares to understand, the failure will be a matter of the intricate play of PMBBD profiteers made.

A million lives is a lot these days

Maybe I'll even have to expand my skills to public dealings, even if that would be a very hard challenge for me, but don't think I can't do it, I'd need a million lives to do all what I believe I can do, and multiply that by another million to do all the things I'd like to do. I could do anything with my life, develop almost any personality, I could have adapted in youth never seeking my best strength. I can still easily adapt but I have chosen a different path, and yes, that works well with my view of destiny.

Easy win

So you understand that democracy-capitalism or religions can easily compete it to failure in the egg, it's kind of overpowering versus a germ, and almost everybody is a final member of the business. Moreover, most people will prefer a final system than working to make a new one that won't provide as much for a long time

Give up the stash if I save your life.

Don't get emotional over it too much if I save your life, and many people would do the same depending on many things, like if they are the kind to let everybody die to be the first on the cake. I act normally, what is important to me is that what I stand for gets reflected in reality somewhere. I'm not a stasher philosopher and you know it, I know love can't be stashed or spread like money, and I'm surely not ego enough to stash popularity or admiration, or fear so much for my old days that I need to make a wall around my gains and a systematization for their growth... No, in fact, my attitude from the beginning shows that I have a genetic mutation that sees things very differently.

Homotribalism

That may be a strange path to explore, but it is very important to find why, even if they'll say there is no problem and everything is going optimal. If it is truly a genetic difference. There is something very wrong in our mentality to permit this ppositive (actually a true mistake) difference to become more and more of a factor all over the world. We should seek these old tribes in the woods and ask them about it, they have sages and medicine. If we find a "natural" tribe without homosexuals; jackpot! That really sound foolish though, but seriously? Do gay people really happen among savages? We could debark with a team of scientists to study them to find what attitude they have that is different than ours, maybe they respect nature more, or women and men don't compete, they may not want to chop clitorises away or make dildo out of men, maybe they're less ego, maybe they're more free in their mind, (I don't mean in a libertine way), they may feel more like independent individuals contributing to the group, they may feel less in close proximity to others too; five people around is different in feeling than a thousand, but I think I'm going wrong with all that...

Durability

People doing pretty durable and diverse popular creative things that smells good and work well without polluting will be well rewarded and praised in our reality, yeah, auto clean too...

It's all a trap

I prefer not to play in what mediocre people in competition desecrated, and since nobody will dare look at himself with adequate judgment in an ego-gods ideology, then you have to describe why you won't sleep in their crap in all possible detail under all possible angles, unless some manipulator justifies its continuation! So in fact it's all a trap.

Multiculturalism

It has the merit of coloring the society fast to save appearance, we can quickly attain colorful society this way, but on the long run I believe it will greatly contribute to a standard specialist society, what I call an ant society, eventually there will be no protected sources of diversity and the whole multicultural argument will result in exactly the contrary wanted effect.

Shame on you!

Even if for most people this reality is good enough to encourage to the end and make invincible in its path, I'd personally be ashamed to show-off our current system and mentalities to the whole universe...

Trust issues

I don't trust religious people, I don't trust governments, I'm scared about Co2 levels, I'm scared about sicknesses, I don't trust the economic system, I don't even trust god to tell you the truth, etc; My lack of trust in hell is so great that I don't know if I'm not as well encourage things to crash before starting since all these things may compromise everything.

Big

Don't think too big or everything may crash; it is better to have a start with a functioning city than many good for the dump half-finished cities for a total fiasco from miscalculating the headroom of our capacities at doing it.

Bad city

Blocks that look and feel the same, environmentally destructive, botched and expanded on the back of all kind of problems that have arisen from planting cities with no vision of the future or anything in mind, only expanding population for all kind of wrong reasons. But yes there are beautiful cities with vision, but not Montreal to me, even if you make pub campaigns to say it is "love" or it is "vision". We won't want any space that can't be made to our standards, particularly cities. Whatever the big downtown or high uptown.

Your best nightmare

Dropping me in a life reality, I'd have been happy, but I'm in ego reality as a final thing with humanity on the verge of massive troubles, and in this situation, I'm your worst nightmare, or your best...

Lists-Missionaries

These are precious and hard to get, particularly for some people in poorer or more remote areas. But there is still some time, and within that time we can better develop the fundamental life philosophy and spirituality, before sending emissaries and missionaries to lost "tribes" in the "woods"... And it can be made big, but no miracles, miracles must be explained through the logic of life, life don't pop food, it grows it, life don't resuscitate people, but a certain level of reincarnation may exists if life systems are interrelated with matter more fundamental ways.

The lands of the free need you to free the land

Many people have the same attitude with lands as with objects; they buy it for possession thinking they got something permanent, eternal, their Parthenon, condemning the land with their mentality. Even if I wouldn't blast them for building quality stuff; lands are nobody's monopoly. For some it's nearly impossible, you'll still hear about the monstrous drama you created 100 years later, people will make pilgrimages to remember and lament in nostalgia, you can plant a nuclear reactor and old people will come back to look for their house somewhere under because they think lands is something they possess eternally but in fact they rented it...

Underground water

The other structural difficulty here is moving terrain, I think it will be difficult to keep all pressure forces equilibrated, with buildings on top. Again simulations will go a long way to know, What I mean is that it's a big piece, can we skip the cracks? And you want to stay level too...I know people made a lot of big underground structures and tunnels, so I guess it's a question of competence.

Abandon the place

If you can abandon villages, you can abandon cities too. And yes the economic system will be affected, but it will whatever you do, in fact, fighting to persevere in the current path will worsen things in the end, so the sooner the better, furthermore, there are too many expensive objects and rich gangs to sustain, since the system was made by very intelligent rich sitting people that didn't see far in the future of logic. It is based on eternal and infinite growth, just stopping growth will affect it tremendously (unless the rich truly change attitude), think of what will happens if you deflate it, and it will happen new reality or not, so don't put the fault on the first opportunity of a possible developing solution because it is a costly one.

Baby making extravaganza

Encourage exactly the contrary attitude, particularly with a system that need exponential growth not to crash, just to survive; it needs to increase the monster fucking sexmania overdrive on "love" alcohol to continue the panicked baby making extravaganza. I'm exaggerating a little, but there is no way it can exist in this environment.

Verify

Or you can fight arguments too, you see what has importance to people as the decision advance and you can put added weight to a specific argument that is important to you for it to have a bigger influence, but then you'd need a system that when it detects an argument of a value over 90%, it classifies it as a super emphasis, having a double effect on that argument.

Life

I tell you my opinion of how I see life, it is not dead, very far from it, go take a walk in woods to see it, even if you know that you must always try to look behind image. For now, there's no way to tell how life systems will develop in the future, I think they will try to hold things together as long as there is potential, it may try to force us to act differently too, I don't know, but it changes nothing to the fact that we are destroying life while having fun at it, we want zoos, clones, pets, slaves, the rest need an army for protection.

Hell of a marriage

And if things are going to hell, then let's have a ruining marriage to raise our spirit. But sorry, civilized people don't do that, we are not a civilization, we're an Egyptian analogy, they too spent such means for their family dynasties, like making their tombs...

All respectful in hell

And don't think a better result would be gotten by being all respectful like everything is beautiful and perfect in hell, like criticism equals loss of credibility, since you have the right to say nice things, judge people positively, but saying people have a problem is another matter, I know for one the you don't tell me I have a problem, for some stupid euphemism...

Susceptibility has become a condemnation, media people of weird sexualities decide what and how people speak. It's hard to be more condemned than this, and it will still worsen because it seeks to build everything eternal from the structures of reality to the type of minds necessary to fit it, until only precise minds gotten out of schools, perfectly adapted critics, can express some feelings, as façade arguments, a competition of ego and bullshit, to have a semblant of evolution, to keep up with time advancing. And normal people, even geniuses, will be left with no means to really have an effect, lost in opinion polls and expression dumps; background chimpanzee noise.

Hype

But you can still call me, just go over all that... For the rest, who invented no pain no gain? Not me, I don't like the idea, maybe no evil no pain is better? Or pain proportional to cumulated evil? Sounds like a plan to beat-up people, but if people didn't like this reality enough, it wouldn't exist, so don't go hype too much. I should have said somewhere that hype tends to give a kickback effect, in time, like an inversed and direct placebo. But hype can give a destructive kick to this reality too, but it will still be a temporary thing that will end-up in expensive failure if there is no true profound and sustainable will for true change in masses, and to know you may have to tell people that they risk dying in the fight, yes those who are ready to die for life, not profit from it, are the ones that must get massive.

War

The human right thing will say you're making a crime against humanity to keep the monopoly of war in selected hands while following a selected formulae, but the end result is the same, except one is tagged as doing crimes against humanity while the other not, and the one that is not is probably the most unfair one. Still, I won't say there are no uglier facets of evil, unfairness is one thing, massacring children another, but that's still a competition of evil pointing at the evils of others...

Behind the facade

Are you driven by image or hype of pseudo emotions, or nationalism emotions, or just a messed-up mind from reading too much guru? Sustainability and association are the words; how long are you affected by important events? Are you news crazy when there is a cataclysm somewhere? Yes? Then it should mean something to you, it is supposed to, or is it a soap? Is there something more terrible than a cataclysm where thousands of people die? It should engrave your memory for a long time without the need for the news to repeat until brainwash, if you truly care about other human beings, you're supposed to have a thought for them once in a while, does it happens? A thought doesn't last long you know, did you forget? Do you need television and internet to make you remember? To create your emotions?

Eject-Jettison

It's the big red button between the pilot and copilot, and that's why copilots are always absent, it's too easy to stumble on the thing, you enter the cabin fast and you push on it, there, a step on that floor to stumble on and you land on the button, you fall asleep your head fall on the button, you're angry and your fist hit the button, and when the girls bring lunch, with their big...smile, they got this tendency to throw their things on the button as they do other things...

Ship pass through

And stuff your arguments, too late, you can argument all you want that you built an invincible ship, but debating its integrity while it is sinking is kind of inappropriate, particularly if it was holed abreast right from the start, inappropriate plus incompetent gives the most worthless of bums more worth than you, just watch-out if the ship is not holed before boarding humanity next time...And you knew it was from the beginning, you hid it the other side, you interpreted it your own way, you bet humanity for some profits, and people you had tons of clues and warnings that the Democracy-Capitalism business was not the best way for life, it was even invented from the beginning to fool people, but it's just not your kind of preoccupation to deduct that I guess. I have a tendency to rage at the powerful, superior or rich, but the selection that work for this system, or forever accept, tolerate, adapt, pardon, is just waiting to not be better with the means. Maybe some fear to end-up like me and maybe they are right to fear if they want to live a little, but no need to profit from life for that.

Life reality

But you have to see everything as interrelated, fail taking a single factor I talked about and you'll take a big risk on the survivability of the new reality, so if you think true love is unimportant and omit to develop its best path, then you'll weaken the new reality greatly, because it is about strength, survivability.

Point

You don't close your eyes to plunge your starting point in the middle of an ocean so you don't close your mind because you found a pretty spot or a place to enrich a gang. This point will be a city and I won't use the kind of attitude and reasons my ancestors used to plant cities everywhere there is a place or any justification, we will use different thinking and justifications will be more complex.

Life reality

If you like how I see things, or my philosophy, then it is your choice to work toward it or not, forcing attitudes is not very respectful of life, on both side of the spectrum, we have the mental and physical abilities to transmit understanding and choose the better path. Now, I'm not a reflection of some guru, I have a global vision of things that make sense, but in the name of independence we're supposed to let the youth experience living to form their own judgment, thus the basis of comfort and a systematization free of manipulators and profiteers that is easy to understand logically in youth.

Making history

Everybody is involved in this, even people who will never be part of the life reality, and you're supposed to be happy helping for your children, or the future of humanity, and that's exactly what you'll be doing; history at an unprecedented level, something beautiful you're supposed to be proud taking part of, besides, you're continually seeking jobs, here's some.

Finally

After my first 6 months at internet (I started at 14.4), to express my opinion at its simplest, I'll give the thing a score of 60, just to say I can use it... But it wouldn't work under this form for the life reality, it's too much of a mess, I'm against imposed pub, the level of PMBBD is extraordinary, it divide people still more instead of associating them, and pornography control is a joke. The emphasis is on profiting because manipulators got their paws on almost everything, in fact, it is far more controlled and fragile than people think, and it is a money thing like everything else, why should it be different? I don't say the internet can be shut down, maybe in parts, but I'm saying that 90% of it is under the control of systems dependent from very rich people who work together when their ways is under attack, and that applies to all communication technologies; what would you do if the internet started costing 3 times as much? It does for many countries, and the amalgam of taxing or liberties make it so they are no worse than others, just so everybody can boast about how hot he is in the country competition.

Don't think the internet is yours and a free libertine thing, that's bullshit, you pay for it, big money, and like everything else it is in the hands of manipulators and profiteers because that's the way of the reality. It is not you that control the internet; you make stuff on it and with it while it is under the control of people that are richer than most banks, and they condemned it under this form, it is dependent from them. You're not supposed to have it if it can't be systemized for profits should be hell's motto. So if you point a gun at them to make them drop their hegemony over it, they'll disable it and no more of your invincible internet, and it will take years to make things somewhat functional again.

Even Bills Gate is in a competition to decide communication facets of the internet, why? To control, to exploit, to decide, to make the world in his image since he took the means. The ones who are currently developing communication tools, most full of pub, are continuing the same pressure selection I talked about all along my work, and they are condemning humanity to their view of freedom.

So it is surely not because you pay an internet provider to visit sites that it is free, that doesn't work as a notion making sense, and liberty is no better than anything else, so it is full of people using the "free" argument to sell stuff, all liars. In fact, after plugging the mail, you know what was the first message I got? Someone bumming me for money; the guy lost his grandpa, then his grandma, then his papa, then his mama, everybody died one after the other in his stupid story, even his girlfriend and his dog and his kids, and now he's got a grave sickness so he too will soon die and I'm supposed to send him money. I didn't read half the text so stupid it was, and I answered that he should get crushed under a truck to end his sufferings instead of lying and trying to steal from innocents. It's hard to believe this reality still produces people so vulnerable to PMBBD that it's worth it to try them with this kind of crap; aren't we supposed to become better at this? I suppose protecting the fragile mind of people from the truth has its effects, and being religious shouldn't help...Facebook is not much better in that optic, I get messages from super cute women trying to seduce me into sending them money while the truth is that they are fucking manipulators typing to 10 innocents at a time trying to strip them of their money.

As for that "freedom internet" thing, as I already mentioned, it is not an argument; everything is under a transitory state, so things are slowly systemized to fit hell; it is already full of limitations, and most of what's left as free is seen as illegal. Profiteers control and manipulate our liberties, nothing new here, so as they systemize things their way. I just logged on to a book downloading site that passes videos of women getting sodomised as publicity for porn sites like it's most attractive sexual activity! wow! I'm all excited, got to click immediately! And the summum is that if I click that I'm under 18 years old they immediately connect me to those porn sites like I'm a target for their future market.

The current internet is setting the human path of the future, it is developing the mentality of the future, by letting things to themselves, by letting this crappy argument of liberty in the hands of manipulators and profiteers. But I already explained all that, liberty, or anarchy in its true meaning, is an automatic win for evil since they are far less limited and they'll take control and systemize things at the first opportunity with the sole goal of profiting under a façade of good, while true good got to think of others far more, it is developed from far more principles and far more thinking, but the result is survival, while the result of letting profiteers and cheaters decide our liberties is dust to dust...

Yet, I won't skip mentioning the internet got many useful facets, just don't forget evil aliens too got high technology and big entertainment, and you can bet they have an internet with a search engine too... Wow, for now, the 2 best part of the internet I found, apart from the mail, is facebook, in big part because it is free and got a few functions that could look like my view of a personal file, even if it is insignificant as it is, and full of pub, and there is Smashword because they permit books to be free, Amazon and eBay are unavoidable too, but nothing special there, just business. Still, the whole internet wouldn't work under this form in the life reality, everything would have to be remade, no basis principle can work here; presently you can visit sites, but you pay for it and you get loads of pub, even enforced porn videos. For the good side, there are many news sites that all babble the same thing under a different interface, and you can babble a lot for nothing, or watch some manipulative statistics, or feel special with personality tests, or enter the love competition by distributing likes, or spread memes to show how you're susceptible to bullshit and manipulative wisdom... You can do the "criminal" and get free stuff too, but that is slowly getting eliminated in the name of jealous insignificants and rich manipulators. As an example, torrent sites are the only source of adequate alternative information I found, under the form of non-mainstream documentaries, but that is becoming unavailable because government who want to control information while sending more money upward, are giving war to torrent sites, not only that, but people hardly produce such documentaries anymore.

My life

I don't shake, I don't do the ugly face, only one tear escape and it means everything because everything is in this book, my emotions, my life, my dreams, it is all yours.

And don't you ever suppose I should have written a book to say I like your reality, I never liked it, encouraged it or defended it. You like it; you write a book praising it, not me.

I should add that if I'm just a loony writing insanities, then why do people fear letting me live in a situation that will bring greater possibility of competence or success to my work?

Forget this

In 10 years I may have forgotten I wrote all this, then it may come back to kick me, but maybe I'll be like a social hot shot and take control of everything after assessing the situation...

I can do better

I'll do what I can to not encourage that path, but I'm human and can do better, so I protest, and I can do better, so I tell what I think will happens, and I can do better so I defend it, and I can do better so I fight for it, but I can do better so I give solutions to it, and I may try to do better.

Big intello

A lot of stuff to say for a not stimulated high MQ someone with an under developed communication coupling, since for scientists of the skeleton, talking and socializing is what gave us a superior intelligence advantage, or is it steak? Or is it fish? I guess the true sources refused to be buried, since the spirituality of burying our dead in the name of god gave us a superior intelligence advantage or something, or is it cooking our food? What I wanted to say is that a lot changed within me as I wrote, I didn't see it that big at the beginning, it was a few hundred pages that never stopped growing, well past 1700 pages at this point and I don't include what I remove...

Apostles

Because of the ways of the reality and the need for integrity of heart and mind. So the apostle example to follow from Christianity is ridicusly inadequate, I'm just warning the incoming messiah not to do it, particularly with rich people... If I say I don't like an attitude while someone helping me have that attitude, I'm stuck dealing my opinions far more drastically unless an ego susceptibility starts giving me troubles. So I did the whole thing alone, and everybody's problems have become my problem, my responsibility (the contrary in concept, but well...) And isn't that what most people of this reality likes to do? Take all the good responsibility stuff, and dump their problematic responsibility on the shoulders of those least responsible...

Bad responsibility

I say that if you read me well to understanding point, if you really understand all the connections I've talked about, then you are free to act upon reality from the reading of my work, and I'll bear the bad side of responsibility as much as I can, the good you'll gain from your effort will always be yours, bad intentions are the exception (unconscious ones too, that's why I made an emphasis on understanding my views, so that you are not a vessel for bad intentions, which I want no responsibility in) Isn't that a change from present reality's ways with responsibility... People are too far off to have the time to reverse engineer themselves, I know that what I write can affect people, in their personal life, I'm in the exact center of hell, in the action, what I play with is the conflict in everything, the last point where thing blow back up, in the soul, in the brain, in the feelings, in the ideology, in the philosophy, in the fundamental vision of everything.

Handicapped

People have been waiting so long to take this step that they forgot, and a step is not a slope, not everybody can climb it and it hurt harder to fall, young people have better potential, but older ones may break bones or die, or some troops rallying speech like that. If not, then I don't see what can be done to prevent the end at the hands of the ego machine, except war to it. But that's still personal to me, even if I'm telling you the why it is so much personal.

Total spiritual

And again I repeat that my view of life (that I sometimes call spirituality) is not godhood final truth, it is a path of possibilities and probabilities I used to explain existence right down to the creation of the universe, even far beyond that, and I placed all intelligent entities somewhere on this extraordinary path. And to be valid it must encompass everything; what is missing? PMBBD? It fills my heart, it fills my mind, it motivated someone in a very difficult situation to this day, and holding to it, it bought me glory. And I don't need science to prove things right away, spirituality is meant to be taken over by science someday, that's why I see them associated. The ultimate quest is truth, that's why spirituality can only be made of possibilities and probabilities, final truth is the domain of science.

The end?

Did I get you? You almost believed all that didn't you? Sorry, it was just fictional stuff from an invented fictional character suffering from psychopathia and schizophrenia etcetera; did you really think you could actually do this? Think about it, it is totally unrealistic! Ask the psy! Ego reality, ah, I'm inventing myself psychotic stories, another reality is still more out of reality, ideology stuff? I'm completely disconnected, that's not my domain anyway! I live in my own reality, I have lost all senses of reality!! Make a new decision structure? Make a new economic system? Make million people lists? Move throng of people from one place to the other? Give them all a computer? Lodging, electricity, communication, entertainment? Make a central system? Associate everything? Recycle cities? Clean-up history? Save love? I described evil! Hell! I did blasphemy against religions! Described a life spirituality, s'cuse me, gave orders to Canada and even worse! HEY! Wake-up! You were dreaming all along! Doing a neurologia along with me! A single of these things is crazy and unrealistic! You're lucky to wake up in the morning with a job, you're lucky to have a computer and big Bills and automobiles, you want to risk losing that to try accomplishing this? Are you sick in the head? I gave all my talent and all my time writing a scarily interesting book and that's all, and you can accuse this character of killing, of raping, of lying, anything, and I'll say go ahead, there are no arguments to be had with this reality, there is even a proverb to defend any of its PMBBD, I told you I wasted my time, one last time.

People make all kind of creations; this is mine, so don't tell me I pass my time criticizing, I'll answer you're going nuts over a fictional story, besides, your type is happy enough in this reality, things always get better for you. Me? I'm not well in this reality, I definitively don't like it, you are the winning selection so what can I say? Leave my minority alone? But I said what I had to say, however unacceptable I made the main character or the story, now I'm done with this, it was cool making such art, I hope you enjoyed...

So don't go nuts, don't lose what you invested all human history in, there is enough sufferings and misery, good people are already over the head helping others, I don't want to add to this, and I don't want people coming at me because I found enemies for my boring life, I will never encourage this type of reality and that's all, it is my view, you can't scrap things built by trillion of people all through thousands of years for an exception that invent a bunch of stuff that don't exist, don't you think? So use your judgment, on me too, the last person that will tell you not to judge people is me, that attitude is very bad for love, fairness and good.

Do with your religions, financials, governments, publicity, "love", "super" "stars", industrialist, or whatever else group of good people that permit your "civilization" to exist, you want your current wellbeing to continue? Then don't do stupid things and leave me to my problems, and I don't want to be saved, I accept how I am, my enemies are my enemies, not yours, if I've been stupid enough to get myself hated all along my life, then it is my problem, not yours, whatever I do, your judgment is yours, not mine, why are you illuminated all of a sudden?

Anyway, I wrote a thousand arguments, and I have a hard time believing people never noticed or questioned the ways of this reality, so if you are still globally liking this reality or praying religiously, it means that you abandoned. So don't suddenly get illuminated, it will look hypocrite or opportunist and you'll scrap what you like and spent tremendous energy building and defending. You know the risk in believing in mentally sick, or crazy or frustrated or revolted people too sure of themselves, I'm supposed to be one of those, they say, so don't take your chance with me, I'm a poor in a dirty apartment, my ambitions cannot be satisfied, I know nothing provable of people and life, or anything for that matter, I'm guessing and feeling all along, you got a nobody in one side and your whole world on the other, your choice is evident, then please don't do stupid actions that will put you in troubles, and my dark vision of the future is not necessarily right, look outside, things are green, people are happy, I showed a vision of things or the future, have yours, use your judgment.

Yet, if you actually followed well enough what I wrote, then maybe for you it is more realist, maybe I could even be real and the story reality. As for the powers that be, if you want to see it as a job appropriate to the weight and capacities of humanity, then don't forget that my opinion is that a vast part of this hell can be recuperated, and people are still allright, and the potential for peaceful change is there, so we're almost talking an ideal scenario of ideological transformation here, in a situation where you have to experience some level of hell, and to me this is another proof that the soul of humanity is good. So if "G" (good?) people believe like me that it's possible in minimal troubles or discomfort, from my work alone or with my adequate help, then I'll be the happiest man in this world as a finality, because terminally speaking I've always been on your side (the exception is the scenario where humans are a source of intelligence and hegemony for god (s) (we can't work in harmony or spread in the universe), in which case, I'm sorry, but I'll distance myself from humanity, I'll become god, to grab that evil god by the hairs, and drag him before the UI for some punishing, then bring glory to earth life...), if all what I went through was not enough to separate me from humanity, even with all what I know of evil's capacities for the ugly, then you don't fear treating me like any citizen, as I write these lines and from all what you know of me, as I walk the only reality available to me, so don't you worry, beyond this point I'll most likely take anything well, except torture evidently. You can shame me, I won't run away, you can insult me and I'll take it lightly, you can even make me a superstar and I'll understand what you're trying to express, but know that I won't take it badly either if I contribute to put the mind of humanity in turmoil...

