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https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/9gzp9v/ex_sexually_assaults_me_so_i_destroy_him_with_a/
Ex sexually assaults me so I destroy him with
a few screenshots
I saw a post earlier today about a similar
topic, and I wanted to share my revenge too.
If someone hurts you, you can take matters
into your own hands.
This is a throwaway because my ex also is
on Reddit and knows my normal account.
Tl;dr is at the bottom.
I'm going to give my relationship with my
ex some context, and then go into the revenge.
When I graduated from college I moved in with
my ex, I'll call him Alex, for a while.
I had a terrible previous housing situation
and my family-life was unhealthy.
In hindsight, it was the best option I had.
We were surprisingly good roommates.
Plus, while I looked for my own place and
full-time job, I could stay home and help
out around the house.
I'd cook and clean, and then at night we would
get some beers or something.
That was the symbiotic relationship--Alex
hosted, and I helped out in every way I could.
I'll give him this: he was supportive of me
in the beginning.
But things started slipping through the cracks
and he'd say or do stuff that should have
been red flags.
Alex would comment on my body, saying that
I was gaining too much weight and that certain
features of mine were too exaggerated.
He'd hit on other women right in front of
me and, because I'm bisexual, assumed that
I would be okay with it.
But the worst thing was that when he got angry,
he'd see red and fly into a rage, hitting
things and yelling at the top of his lungs.
The tantrums didn't usually last very long,
but I'd feel physically threatened whenever
it happened.
I remember one morning when I came home after
a party and he, convinced I was cheating on
him, tore his hoodie off of me and said, "How
dare you wear my clothes when you're off fucking
someone else."
Once he cooled down I was visibly rattled,
but he just refused to talk about it and left
the house.
He always brushed me off after he got upset,
saying he was just stressed.
I expedited my house and job-hunting, accepting
some slightly uncomfortable situations to
try to salvage the relationship.
We had a lot of heart-to-hearts, but it always
ended the same: with him yelling, a finger
in my face, and me bawling feeling totally
insane.
But I was finally totally independent.
This is where shit also started getting crazy.
Alex was arrested for weed possession and
intent to sell soon after I moved out.
He called me from jail and needed bail money--but
I didn't have any.
I was totally broke from moving and my job
hadn't paid me yet.
I rallied up his friends and they all pitched
in.
He did make bail, but after that things got
worse for me.
Once he was released on bail he drove over
to my house, totally wasted, and asked me
to hide his bongs and pipes, but I didn't
want to be dragged down in the legal case.
I told him to leave it in his trunk so he
wouldn't drive again.
He started to come to my house drunk in the
middle of the night and ask why I didn't love
him and why I was abandoning him and not considering
his feelings.
He was always angry and constantly called
me to see where I was.
If I didn't get back to him soon enough he'd
try to track me down through my friends.
It was obviously not a good situation.
I realized I had to get the fuck out of there.
So I broke up with him.
He was devastated, and he was pissed.
I think that's one of the reasons he did what
he did later.
It took a few weeks for him to finally stop
calling me, and then it was a clean break
for a couple months, But we ended up getting
back in contact.
After all, Alex had been a really important
part of my life.
And he wasn't a bad guy, just a little nuts.
I don't know how it happened, but after 6
months of little to no contact with Alex or
so I found an amazing job in a different state,
1,000 miles away.
Having largely forgotten about the painful
parts of my relationship with Alex, we used
my imminent move to start hanging out casually.
We got drinks, talked about the future, and
I ultimately felt pretty good about being
able to be friends with my ex in a healthy
way.
And then his birthday party came.
I was leaving in a few days for the new job,
so I figured I'd go out one more time for
a last hurrah.
He invited dozen people or so to his house
and one of them was a pretty girl, a mutual
friend.
I'll call her Crystal.
It's clear in hindsight that he was grooming
us to have a threesome with him that night.
He kept feeding us drinks, never letting us
get to the bottom of the glass.
Before I knew it, it was 4am, and I was drowsy.
I didn't know how I got into his bedroom,
but there I was, petting the cat.
Crystal laid down on the bed and asked me
if I wanted to have sex with her and Alex.
I shook my head, and became keenly aware that
my eyesight was swimming and the room felt
hazy.
She left the room, told Alex I was clearly
too tired, and he walked her out.
I remember laying down because my chest felt
heavy.
How much did I have to drink?
Alex came back into the room and pinned me
onto the bed.
I became more and more afraid when I realized
that I couldn't fight him off.
He raped me until I started crying too loudly,
threatening to wake up his roommate who, frankly,
I'm shocked didn't come see what was going
on.
After Alex finally let me up, I got dressed
and fled the house, calling a car to come
pick me up.
But Alex was right behind me--he made me cancel
the trip, and forced me into his car, saying
that everything was fine.
He was just playing rough, and besides, it
was his birthday.
The closer to my house we got, the more agitated
he became.
I asked him to pull over, but instead he sped
up to 60mph in a 35.
Once we got to my house he pinned me against
my door, screaming.
Eventually I managed to get inside my house,
but I heard him kicking over my trash cans
and my gate.
I called some friends to get me, afraid for
my physical safety.
The fact that I actually made it home felt
like a miracle.
The whole thing was incredibly traumatic.
I had no idea he was capable of actually hurting
anyone, especially me.
The next morning after the assault, I woke
up at my friends' house with 20 missed calls
from Alex.
My friends and I decided I should stay at
their place until my moving date.
I didn't want to call the police because I
would be forced to recount my story over and
over.
I knew I would be gaslit again, and I had
to leave town.
Besides, he was already in legal trouble.
I have a sense of justice, but I didn't want
to be the reason he was behind bars.
He had texted me a lot along with those calls.
Abusive things morphed into apologies and
back into abuse.
So I decided to do something that I'm grateful
for to this day.
I got him to admit to what happened, with
pertinent details.
I did this by allowing him to apologize to
me via text.
He started gushing and didn't even bother
to refute the facts.
I recounted the entire evening, and he agreed
that all of it happened.
I had what I needed.
If I did need to call the cops, if I felt
threatened, if he ever reached out to me again,
I had it in writing.
Backed that shit up in a dropbox account.
I told him to leave me the hell alone or I'd
call the police.
I felt safer.
That was supposed to be the end of it.
Fast forward to last week: I'm moved far,
far away and I'm loving life, even though
I still have nightmares and I've started to
develop sleep paralysis.
I'm okay.
I got a text message from a friend out of
the blue, saying, "Hey, I have a friend who's
dating Alex.
Is there anything I should know?"
My heart dropped into my stomach.
What if he was abusive to his new girlfriend?
Would it be my fault if something happened
to her?
Feeling a sense of responsibility, I told
my friend what Alex had done and didn't mince
words.
The new girlfriend should get out of there.
Alex called me a couple of days later, and
when I didn't pick up the phone, he left a
huge string of messages.
He was livid that I "inserted myself into
his life."
Mainly, he tried to change the story on me,
which was pretty shocking on its own.
But then, he launched into a weird rant about
how he's a good guy and he had been a great
boyfriend to me before I ruined everything
by breaking things off, and what happened
wasn't even "rape," but it's understandable
if my "feeling" is that I was assaulted.
One event doesn't define whether someone is
a good or bad person.
Okay, dude.
I blocked him, and that was that.
The last straw, though, was when my friend
(who initially asked me about Alex) asked
me to clarify some things about my story because
apparently Alex was talking some major shit
to his new girlfriend, trying to discredit
me and my story.
Alex was saying that my mental health was
always poor and I made up the whole thing
to get back at him for finding a new girlfriend.
Plus, I was an abuser and I made stories up
all the time.
I didn't care for that shit at all.
So I released the kraken.
I got the new girlfriend's number from my
friend and extended a friendly hand.
I wanted to let her know that I'm not insane
and that I didn't think it was fair for her
to have to confront this really strange problem
so early on in her new relationship.
I then sent her the following:
An apology, because I know Alex is scary when
he's mad and it can be emotionally overwhelming.
I asked if she was ok.
She said she was, so I continued.
I gave her an important clarification on the
mental illness thing: I'm bipolar, not paranoid.
I know the difference between reality and
fiction.
It's true that it can uproot stability to
have a mental illness, but I'm not prone to
flights of fantasy, and I kept everything
in writing just in case this happened.
I showed her a text thread I sent to a friend
on the night of the assault, timestamped clearly.
It recounted all of the details of what happened
that night in excruciating detail.
This backed up the motherlode of proof, the
admission of guilt from the rapist himself.
Finally, I sent her the texts of Alex admitting
to everything.
The details of those two text threads lined
up to a T, proving that I didn't change the
story and I didn't go through that experience
for attention.
It was real, it was awful, and I was smart
about keeping records.
Not crazy, not a liar, and about to ruin this
asshole's life.
She thanked me for my time, and a couple of
hours later let me know that she broke things
off with Alex, who was flipping a shit.
I felt bad for her but I was happy to help.
Next I heard of him was earlier this week
from a mutual friend: Alex is already beginning
to lose work with several of the companies
he freelances for because word got around
about what he did to me and how he tried to
cover it up.
I guess his new ex girlfriend is the gossipy
type.
I'm honestly not sorry at all.
I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow,
I post at 10am Eastern Time every day.
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I wish you all a beautiful day, I hope you
are doing your best to reach your dreams,
live a fulfilled life, have fun and love the
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