You've been on the show before.
You were here promoting Apollo 13 once.
Yes.
You came on the program
and I think really helped that picture out
with getting the word out.
(audience laughing)
You're key to every marketing strategy
in Hollywood, Conan.
And you were very much involved
in the "From the Earth
to the Moon" series.
"From the Earth to the
Moon," yes, for HBO.
When did this passion for space begin?
Were you passionate about
this when you were young?
Well, yeah, I was 'cause I just thought it
was very, very cool and glamorous
to do things like go into outer space.
And like do a space walk.
So much so we had a--
Now on the West Coast we had these things
called Doughboy pools,
you'd call them an above-ground
pool here on the East Coast,
but Doughboy made them, so
there was always like a,
it's a aluminum with a liner in it,
you fill that with water,
and about three weeks later
the bugs start growin' in it,
but for three weeks you
would actually swim in it
like it was a swimming pool.
So I would go out and have
my own simulated space walks
in the Doughboy pool.
How does that work?
Well, what you do you wear
baggy shorts, cut-offs,
and you put a brick right
in the back of your butt,
so that will hold you on
the bottom of the pool,
but all your limbs will
then float up like this,
and in order to breathe
you get a garden hose,
and you put it over the side,
and you stick the garden
hose in your mouth
and then you're wearin'--
I would wear a pair of
like literally you get 'em
from like Ben Frank's
that cost like 99 cent
swimming goggles which is a hard rubber
with a plate of plastic on it.
And so I sit there and under three feet
the pressure actually pushes
that against your face,
so I'd be down there with
this thing in my face
and a garden hose in my mouth,
and I would be pretending
to walk in space.
(audience laughing)
(applauding)
It works great.
You know, there's a word
for that guy, knot head.
Knot head, yeah.
It always worked great till
it was time for dinner,
'cause my Mom would say,
"Larry, go out and get
your brother outta the pool
off his space walk.
It's time for dinner."
And he would go out there and essentially
get the garden hose,
put a crimp in it, so--
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing)
So I'm down there, like that.
It is very hard to get
a brick outta your pants
when you're fighting for your life
on the bottom of a
three-foot swimmin' pool.
That would be the worst.
If God forbid something happened to you,
that'd be the most embarrassing way to go.
It would be bad, but what a hilarious
little snippet of newspaper
you would have to put on.
I would see this from the
"(indistinct) Daily News,"
"Child Drowns with Brick
in Bottom of Pants."
I can't tell you how--
That'd be a Jay Leno
clip to show on his show.
Hey, look he had a brick in his pants!
(audience laughing)
(applauding)
But I can't tell ya how many hours
I spent at the bottom
of the pool like that.
I think I actually took
like comic books in there.
We'd just sit there and
float and read them,
you know, 'cause I just love the free fall
of the zero gravity.
Sure, sure.
Now were you into science fiction?
Did you like, for example,
did you like "Star Trek"?
Oh yeah, I'd set the clock by "Star Trek."
That was on at six o'clock on Channel 2...
in Oakland.
And, yeah, much like when
you meet like the Beatles
when you get famous you
meet like the baseball team.
You sorta collect the moments
where you meet all the people, yeah.
It's a big deal and I've met,
I saw Jimmie Doohan who played Scottie.
Thank you very much.
I saw him in a play in
San Francisco in 1975.
He was in a play called,
"The Trial of James MacNeill Whistler."
We're actually in the audience like,
"You think he has a tri-corner
in his dressing room?"
(audience laughing)
He's an actor up there.
When I met Leonard Nimoy and
I've worked with Bill Shatner
for some Shakespeare benefits.
You know, Bill Shatner
takes some heat sometimes
from the other "Star Trek"
or from the Trekkies.
Sometimes they think
it's all gone to his head
or that he's difficult.
Dude, he played James Kirk.
He was the Captain of
the Star Ship Enterprise.
(audience cheering)
All right?
I mean, I didn't see
Sulu down on that planet
makin' a cannon outta bamboo
to kill that dinosaur guy.
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing)
That was James Kirk.
You didn't see like Chekov outwitting
the Gamesters of Triskelion.
That was James Tiberius
Kirk who was, in fact,
the narrator of the whole show.
You're right, you're right, I--
"These are the voyages of
the Starship Enterprise."
I stand corrected.
Can you imagine if Bones
McCoy had narrated that show?
"I'm just a simple country doctor."
(Conan laughing)
(audience laughing)
I didn't know what the heck was going on.
"Here I am with my lifeforms
and my little whirling salt shaker
that tells me what's wrong with people."
Now did you ever meet Sulu?
Did you meet Sulu?
I don't think I've ever met George--
[Conan] George Takei?
[Tom] George Takei.
I met George Takei.
I talked to him on the phone.
Wouldn't you love to have his pipes?
I called him up because--
He had a voice way down here.
"We're on course, Captain."
He's got this voice right here.
He talks like that.
And I called him up because
we wanted him to do a voice
on "The Simpsons," and I called him up,
and he just was like,
"No, I'm not doing it.
It makes fun of monorails
and I'm in charge of
transportation in San Francisco,
so screw yourself."
And then hung up.
(audience laughing)
I couldn't believe it.
What the hell was that all about?
What you're such a big
shot everybody's gonna drop
what they're doin' and
come do you a favor?
I know this was 12 years ago, too.
Well, come on man the guy
oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry,
he got a life while you're
still in show business.
(Conan laughing)
What a shame, what a shame.
(audience applauding)
Everything I've said so far!
Wrong.
I have so much anger towards Sulu,
and I wanted to work it out
using your valuable time.
You've got things to do.
International movie star, and I'm like,
"No, we gotta talk about
Sulu and how he screwed me!"
Listen, I've still got
something about that guy
with that big ear that's
saying, "Come to Eden, brother."
He still gives me the willies, man.
♪ Come to Eden ♪
That dude, oh, don't say it, don't say it.
Yeah, yeah, all right.
Gives me bad dreams.
Oh, so suddenly you're too
important to like that guy?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Turnabout is fair play.
Exactly.
Turnabout is fair play.
