Mark: I'm firing it up- our favorite game, totally fair.
I still haven't updated my profile picture.
Wade: Great, that's a good picture.
(Bob laughs)
Mark: How do I do th- okay, how do I do this?
Wade: You have to do- you have to go through Uplay its-
Mark: What?!
Bob: Yeah I did mine on my Xbox 360, somehow.
Mark: Alright, I'll do it.
Wade: It's a process.
Mark: No, I can- (Wade: Let's play some Uno) No, I- I got it, it's right here.
Mark: I have to log in the website??
Why would I need to go here?
Mark: Assign an a-- (Wade: We got an hour, it's fine) I got it, I got it, I got it, here we go, here we go.
Mark: Y'all are about to eat. S h i t.
Mark: "File too small??" (Bob:  file too small?!) Mark: What??
Bob: Y'know, it's a s--
it's a too small file.
Wade: Listen Mark--
not everyone's blessed with a normal-sized or enlarged file.
Some of us just have small files.
Bob: Yeah, no, buddy, it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay?
Mark: Alright, I got it.
Bob: Great.
Mark: I got it. Yeah, I- yeah, I got it.
Bob: No, that's wha t I'm saying
Bob: You shouldn't be ashamed of how small it is, it's okay.
Mark: I'm not ashamed, I'm not ash-.
Mark: I'm not ashamed.
Bob: I'm glad, I'm-- good. Good. That's good (x1).
That's good (x2).
That's good (x3).
Mark: Alright when does my picture update here?
Bob: Never.
Wade: I think you have to restart your game or restart UPlay or restart Steam, you- there's something.
Mark: Alright I'll restart the game.
Wade: *sarcastically* Oh yeah please, by all means. (mark laughs)
Bob: Yeah, we're not doing anything, its fine, its good.
Mark: Here I come!
Mark: Oh, I can mix-
Wade: We're sure we're ready
Mark: I can mix the game audio on the fly with this thing!
Wade: Yeah, please do.
Wade: Yeah, do that instead of joining.
Bob: Uh huh? I know, it's crazy, right? It's awesome.
Mark: It's so cool!
Mark: F**K Barbara.
Recording: F**K Barbara.
(Bob laughing) Mark: Hey, it works!
Wow!
Recording: F**K Barbara.
Wade: I mean, I approve of your message, but why am I alone in this lobby right now?
Recording: F**K Barbara.
Mark: I'm still loading, it's stuck loading. (Bob laughing)
Wade: UUUGGGH
Recording: F**K Barbara.
(Bob still laughing) Wade: Stop!
Mark: This is f**king Barbara's fault!
Recording: F**K Barbara. This is f**king Barbara's fault!
Mark: Got it. I'm good to go.
Mark: It's in loading hell.
Mark: No network connection?!
Mark: Hey, toss me another one of those invites.
Wade: You're not even- I can't even see you online, I only see Bob (Bob: Don't do it, no, not like this)
Mark: What? Am I not online? Is it because I tried to update my profile picture?
Wade: I...probably. I mean-
Wade: I told you it was a process
Mark: Alright, I'm gonna get outta this.
Wade: Let's see if Mark's- Mark I sent you another invite.
Mark: Hang on, I'm not-- I gotta load in.
Wade: All of a sudden you appeared online.
Mark: I'm getting out of Uno-
Mark: I got online as soon as I exited the game?
Wade: Yeah.
(Wade and Bob snicker) Mark: Alright. Sure. Right.
M: I got this. Maybe.
Recording: This is f***ing Barbara's fault!
Mark: Yep.
Bob: (laughs) Yea- you can't agree with your own self!
Mark: (laughs)
Mark: Yeah I can!
Bob: 'Yeah it fuckin is'.
Mark: Oh, wait-
Mark: You right!
Recording: You right!
Bob: This is fg Barbara's fault.
Recording: F*** Barbara.
Recording: You right!

(Mark and Bob laugh loudly) Wade: Stooooop.
Bob: God damn it.
Recording: F**k Barbara.  You right!
M: I got it, it's perfect! (Wade and Bob laughing)
Bob: Aw shit.
Wade: We're eventually gonna come to a stream
where Mark's just gonna have pre- like, recorded everything, and we're gonna think we're talking to him
but he won't even be there.
Mark: Uh huh.
Mark: Oh, yeah.
Mark: Mmhm.
Mark: Aw, me too, man.
Recording: Uh huh. Oh yeah. Mmhm. Aw, me too, man. (Bob and Wade laughing)
(all three laughing)
Bob: How many layers of the fuckin recordings can you have?
Mark: You can have 12 at a time.
(all three laughing) Bob: Oh my god...
Mark: Yes I agree. Aw, no way! 
Bob: Aw shit, that thing is hilarious
(Bob and Wade laughing in background)
Recording: Aw, no way! Aw, me too man. Yes I agree.
(All three laughing)
(Bob laughing hysterically in background) 
Wade: I don't even think the laugh is really him anymore!
Bob: He's got layers on layers...
Mark: I'm in!
Mark: WHERE'S MY PROFILE PICTURE?!
Bob: ...just laughing at his own recORDINGS-
(all three laugh hysterically)
Wade: All of this and it's still fucking blank!
Mark: Alright, let's do this!
Bob: Aw shittt.
Wade: My god dammit!
Mark: (tears of joy) Let's play some unoooooo
Wade: (sarcastically) Are you sure you guys are ready?? You don't wanna (Mark starts the game) res- fucking fuck you
Recording: Yes, I agree.
(Bob starts laughing)
Wade: StooOoOop (Starts laughing)
Recording: Aw, me too, man.
(Wade and Bob laughing hysterically again)
Mark: I don't have just a "yes."
(All laughing)
Mark: Yes
Mark: No
Recording: Yes. No
Mark: Got it.
(All laughing again)
Mark: Here we gooooo.
Mark: Lets play some uno!
Wade: Is Globox a bot? It's gotta be right?
Mark: Yea yeah
Wade: Hopefully Globox isn't a person.
Wade: Nice plays... Skip Globox
Mark: Thank you.
Bob: You skipped me- no no you didn't. Okay I see...
Mark: No way.
Wade: Oh hey, I get to draw (Wade grunts)
(Wade moans)
Mark: What is that?
Wade: I think this just reveals the hand... yeah.
Mark: Oh.
Wade: Oh look at that sweet plus 4
Mark and Bob: hmmm
Bob: That's not so good for Mark...
Mark: You don't know
Mark: You don't know that
Mark and Bob: That's not so good..
Mark: It's not so good for you.
Bob: Yeah.. I sorta figured.
Mark: HuhAHhaHAhaHAhahahaha
Wade: Well, that's not so good for Glo. Except for- he had two of these, didn't... (trails off)
(various disapproval) (Bob: Okay, well..)
Wade: Hey, everyone's having a good time now!
Bob: A-ha!
Mark: It's always great when we're off to the most depressing start to Uno possible.
Wade: GloBox you'd better play a 9!
Wade: (whispers) d o  i t .
Wade: Fuck you.
Bob: Oh shiiiit!
Mark: Ahhh.
Wade: Fuck YOU!
Wade: Fuck yellow. Fuck the pee.
Bob: Oh dear. Dear me. Oh goodness.
Wade: I would challenge. I don't trust him.
Mark: I'll decline it.
Mark: It's fine.
Bob: Oh, well. Sorry, Wade.
Wade: (strained) That's fine.
*Mark laughs* Wade: It's fine. It's fine.
Mark: (mocking) "It's fiiiiine."
Bob: Wade, what's a good colour for you to punish him?
Wade: Red!
Wade: Alright. That's a really good colour for me to punish him.
Wade: Be punished!
Mark: That's not a punishment....
Wade: Oh yeah, they gained 3 more cards!
Mark: Wha- No! Wh- WADE! (Wade laughs)
Bob: Well, okay. Draw some cards, bud.
(Mark and Bob laugh) Wade: What?
Bob: Just silence.
Wade: Oh, I was muted.
Wade: Barbara just donated and said "I did nothing and you-"(cuts out)
(Bob laughs)
Mark: There he goes!
Wade: Barbara's in my chat talking shit.
Mark: Ah, okay. There you go, Bob.
Bob: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, whoa, let's not - let's not do that. Don't do that.
Mark: Oh, what?
Wade: Wh- NO, NO, NOOooo...
Mark: What? What?! What the-?
Bob: Eat a dick!
Mark: WHAT?!
Wade: That thing fucked you. 
Mark: In what w- WHAT WAS THAT?
Bob: Eat a dick!
Wade: That thing fucked you hard.
Bob: That was the best card in the deck.
Mark: What is that garbage?
Bob: Eat a giant dick.
Wade: Look at everyone's hand, then look at Mark's!
Mark: Uh, W H A T, how?
Wade: Stop with the red!
Bob: We can't see your hand, Wade; how many you got?
(Wade moans)
Wade: 2.
Bob: Oh, you had 3, okay.
Mark, softly: just..
Bob: Well, that's not...
Wade: Yeah, I was tired of the re- I was hoping you had red, 'cause I was just playing fuckin red, and.
Mark: What's wrong with red? Red's fine.
Wade: Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob-
Wade: Now, don't- don't-
Bob: I'm trying to remember what color Wade had. I believe he has green and yellow.
Wade: Bob, that's not good. I know what you're gonna do with that.
Wade: I KNOW what you have that's that color.
Bob: No, I don't think you know.
Wade: Mark, you don't wanna let this happen, buddy.
Wade: You gotta stop Bob.
Bob: Nah, nah, nah, it's fine.
Bob: Oh, hey Mark.
Wade: That's awkward.
Mark: Uh huh. 
Bob: That's cool.
Mark: Yeah, what?
Bob: That's cool, bud, that's real cool.
Bob: Appreciate that.
Wade: Bob, you had a rough time last hand so... 
Bob: Oh, wow, thanks friend.
Wade: No, you're gonna appreciate this, you're gonna appreciate this.
Bob: Oh, okay, well, yeah, I do appreciate that, actually.
Wade: Yeah, I thought you would. Yeah.
Wade: I thought you would, which is why I'm gonna do this now.
(all laugh)
Bob: Wade has a yellow, let's get Wade!
Mark: God dammit.
Wade: Come on, come on!
Bob: Wait, leave it yellow, leave it yellow!
Mark: A-ha!
Mark: I left it yellow for you, Bob.
Bob: Noo, I had this!
Wade: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wade: NO!
Bob: That's not good. I guess that's fine.
Mark: Is this better?
Bob: YES, YES IT IS!!
Mark: Yeah! Yeah!
Wade: Nononononono
Wade: Awww...
Mark: That's what you get, Wade.
Mark: That is really... honestly, that's-- that is--
Wade: My brilliant-- my brilliant scheme...
Mark: That is what you deserve. Honestly.
Wade: I schemed so well, though. Remember the time that I schemed it?
Mark: Yeah, I remember.
Bob: I do remember that.
Mark: Yeah.
Mark : We all remember. Everybody remembers that.
Wade: It was a good time! Mark: Yeah.
Mark: Everyone remembers that. 
Bob: Sorry, bud.
Wade: That's what you get for helping Bob.
(Mark laughs)
Bob: I- hey, whoa. Listen.
Mark: What I get for helping Bob is Bob skipping me.
Wade: Yes.
Bob: I've got a lot of stuff backed up here- What does that do?
Wade: Oh, it's another five!
Bob: Oh, it copies. Okay, well.
Bob: That's not what I was hoping for.
Wade: Aw, no, that sucks.
Bob: Ooh, man, look at all those good cards I got.
Bob: Ooh, baby.
Mark: Alright, let's see what else is in store.
Wade: Let's all just- Alright, we're back to start!
Mark: Yeah! *laughs*
Wade: Globar is- er, Globox- 
Mark: We might as well have not done anything, honestly.
Wade: Yup. 
Bob: Oh, thank God for you, Wade. You're a saint.
Mark: Right, well...
Bob: You're a god among men- Oh.
Wade: Hey! This is good, everybody, we're all happy now, that sucks.
Wade: Alright. Well.
Bob: Really?
Wade: Just gonna get that outta the way.
Bob: Are you... Sure about that?
Mark: Somethin' tells me... Somethin' tells me he might have some green in his hand.
Wade: Hundred percent.
Bob: Mmmm, I think he didn't. I don't remember.
Bob: It's okay, just somebody reverse this please, do it, I want you to do it.
Wade: How about you have a sweet 8?
Mark: Oh, no... AHA!
Bob: Gotcha, bitch!
Bob: Wait, who did we get?
Mark: Uh, GloBox.
Wade: Oh, no! GloBox got to play their 8!?
Wade: Ahh.
Bob: What the fuck?
Bob: Oh, well, that didn't work out very well. (Mark sighs)
Mark: Alright, that-
Wade: It's okay. Everything is as it should be.
Mark: That was very clearly GloBox's fault for jumping in when they shouldn't have!
Wade: Didn't- Hold on- didn't Bob win "Sorry!" and Mark win "Trouble"?
Mark: I don't know. 
Wade: Also Bob just quit. Why'd Bob quit?
Mark: Bob, where'd you go? 
Wade: Oh, fucking Barbara came in!
Wade: I'm quitting too. 
Mark: Welp. We're leaving.
Wade (muttering): Thank god fucking-
Bob: Oh, I forgot how this game works, actually.
Wade: Yeah, you just- you just stick with us and don't... leave. 
(mark laughs)
Wade: That's alright, that was Rayman, we never have to play that deck again.
Mark: Oh, that was it? Okay, good.
Mark: Can I get an invite?
Bob: You just join! (Mark: Can I get an invite?) Bob: God dammit!
Mark: I would like an invite please.
Bob: You just join. Do it yourself! M: I want an invite.
(Bob sighs) 
Mark: I'm like a vampire, I can't enter the lobby until I get an invite.
Wade: I sent you another one. 
Mark: I don't see it.
Mark: Where? 
Bob: It's in where the invites go.
Wade: There's a third one. 
Mark: I don't see it.
Wade: Do you accept the third one?
Mark: No, I don't see it, there's nothing.
Wade: He's playing the goddamn thing, isn't he? 
Mark: No, I'm not!
Mark: I actually- 
Wade: Is that a recording? Is this a recording too? 
Mark: No!
Wade: Where is your goddamn invite? Just get in the fucking game!
Mark: You'll never trust me ever again! 
Wade: No, I won't!
Wade: No, I won't!
Mark: I'm joining the game, I'm joining the game.
Wade: No, I won't!
Mark: I didn't- I didn't get an invite, I will be very clear, I didn't get an invite.
Mark: You can watch the video, I didn't get an invite.
Bob: Uh huh.
Wade: No, I won't!
Bob: Yep.
Recording: Yes, I agree.
(laughing) Bob: Fucker.
Wade: No Barbara, just give us GloBox again.
Wade: Oh, God, Barbara's such a BITCH. 
Mark: I though we weren't doing Rayman. 
Wade:  F  U  C  K
Wade: GOD DAMMIT! 
Bob: What's up, Barbara?
Mark: I thought we were never playing Rayman again!
Wade: I'm not letting her hit me with- SEE? SEE?
Wade: Look what the FUCK happens when you play with Barbara!
Mark: Why- why would that go right off the-
Mark: I don't believe that. Right off the bat?
Mark: Okay. 
Bob: Wow.
Wade: Look what happens when you play with BARBARA.
Bob: Ooookay.
Recording: Uh huh.
Mark: No, wait, not that one.
Wade: I don't care if I win my only g- okay, I won't do anything this round, but man, in the future!-
Recording: f u c k  b a r b a r a  
Wade: -I'm gonna fuck Barbara over! 
Recording: You right!
Recording: You right!
Wade: Barbara, Barbara,  where's your donation about you doing nothing now? Where's that?
HUH?
Wade: Where's that now? 
(Bob laughing)
Recording: This is fucking Barbara's fault!
(all laughing) 
Bob: Jesus Christ!
Bob: (laughing) Oh, shit!
Bob: Wade, listen, hey, hang on a minute. Dude, bro. 
Wade: This is awkward.
Bob: Dude, bro, that's really mean.
Wade: Yeah, sure was when you did it to me, too.
Bob: Okay, I'm just gonna- 
Mark: How-
Mark: We are- We- We are like on the second round. How do you have so many cards?
Bob: End my stream- I'm good.
Bob: IT'S YOUR FUCKIN' HAND!
Mark: What did I do?
(all laughing) 
Bob: How do you have so many cards, STUPID?
Mark: Ah, you got me there, you really, really got me there!
(laughing)
Bob: God dammit.
Mark: I don't remember changing.
Wade: Is that- Is that really Mark or is it a recording?
Mark: Huh? What?
Wade: I feel like this is all just Mark's recordings. 
Recording: You right!
(all laughing)
Wade: Stop! Lemme playyy!
Mark: No! 
Bob: Fack youu!
(bob and mark in unison) Faaaack youu!
Bob: Well-
Wade: Alright, alright. Oh fuck, oh fuck.
Bob: You right.
Wade: Alright.
Recording: You right.
Wade: Stop. 
Bob: God dammit. 
Recording: Uh huh.
Wade: Is that really Mark? 
Bob: No, it's not! 
Recording: Yes.
(all laughing) 
Wade: Barbara's back! Thank you, Barbara!
Recording: f u c k  b a r b a r a  
W: God damn it, you skipped me, Barbara.
Recording: You right. 
W: I see you right there, I see you right there, Barbara.
W: Who's turn- who's on left?- FUCK!
W: Let me play! 
(mark laughs)
W: *gibberish*
B: EAT A GIANT PILE OF SHUT THE FUCK UP.
(mark laughs)
(bob sighs) 
(mark laughs)
B: GOD. DAMMIT. 
W: Nooooo. 
B: SHUT UP.
B: Thanks, bud. 
Oh- well, there's kind of a... crucial problem with this hand, isn't there?
W: Ah, well- 
B: Ah, Mark- 
W: Bob, enjoy that one too.
M: Oh, yeah- I see, I see, I see. 
B: Kind of a fundamental problem over there.
M: I see what you're talking about.
W: You ain't got a (mumbling).
M: Sorry, WHAT?
(laughter and confusion)
M: Aha!
B: Gotem.
B: Hey, there's one.
M: Long way around the bend to go- (talking over each other)
(all laughing)
B: Ahhh, shit.
W: Ooooooooooh.
B: Oooooooooh, well...
W: Thank God Barbara had 15 cards!
B: We're back to the start, nobody did anything.
W: Hey, guess who doesn't have any goddamn red? 
(bob laughs) 
M: Wow.
W: Bob doesn't. 
B: Oh-
M: Okay.
B: Yeah, I didn't have any red either, so enjoy that!
(wade laughs) B: Aw, who the fuck?
W: WHY?
W: There's still not a god damn red card in his fucking hand.
W: Only Mark has possibly red cards. 
M: I DON'T have red cards!
M: I don't know why you'd assume I do. 
W: No one has red cards!
M: Barbara, tell him!
W: Aw, fuck. (bob giggles)
B: Yeah, tell him, Barbara.
W: Noooo! 
(bob laughs) 
W: I just wanna plaaaaay!
M: Maybe you have some red, huh?
M: No. 
W: No, stop!
W: Don't look! It's private!
B: No, stop! Wait!
B: Stop it! Eurghhh!
W: Take 2. M: Woooow.
B: Uh- Woah- Uhhhh!
B: Oh no. (various sounds of disapproval)
B: Well, it auto played.
W: No... Not red... No one has red. Oh, good.
M: I'll take that. B: It's okay. M: I'll take it, I'll take it.
W: Enjoy your nine cards.
M: Are you a robot?
B: Hey, buddy. I'll give you another chance. M: You don't have a chance!
B: Buddy o' friend of miiiine!
W: Oh, take that Barbara! Ya fuck!
B: Oh, man, this is still the same problem!
B: Fuck! M: What colour do you need, Bob?
B: Mmmmm... Blue I could do some stuff I guess. M: You got it, buddy.
M: I'm here for you.
M: Sorry... I tried.
M: Oh, no. I gotta do this now.
B: Wow. Well, that didn't really work out well for me, did it? M: I was just trying to help!
W: Imma help too!
B: Uhhhh, that's not good. Good. Good.
B: If you can make it blue?
W: Yeah, if you all can just make the colour-
W: What I need- B: Well, that's even better.
W: Nononononono M: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
B: That's good. W: I just took the biggest dickins.
B: Oh, man, we were buddies on that one.
M: You act like I have a choice in anything I do, Bob.
M: You act like ANY part of this game is a choice.
W: There you go, Mark. There's 2 cards. M: Thank you, thank you.
B Well that's- that's- you're really giving the game away there, huh? W: Yeah, kinda.
W: No one has red, so they're all f u c k e d.
M: Where did you get red?
W: It was in your hand! M: Oh, you're right!
(wade laughing) Recording: You right!
(all laughing)
W: Barbara, you're fucking over Mark again!
(laughing) B: Wellllll...
B: Can I give the +4 to Wade? M: Uhhhh, yes!
M: Apparently!
B: I know what colour it should be.
W: You had green. I don't believe you.
W: I know you. B: Oh, I did have green.
M: Oh. W: Fucking take it- now I got- god dammit, that's alright.
W: ooooh
B: Just... Whatever, I guess.
W: Whatever, I still have fucking red, or not.
M: Well, then, where are all of these reds coming from?
W: YOU! M: I'm not-
M: Ah, well, yea, okay. Recording: You right!
W: STOPPPP! (all laughing)
B: I hate it so much...
W: I don't know the cards Mark has, but it looks like a lot.
M: What'd you mean? Oh- yeah, I got the cloud, I forgot.
W: Fart cloud. Do I still have the fart cloud? M: No, you're not farted up.
W: Yuhhhwouuah. I just needed to do that for science. M: Alright.
M: Red? W: No- you fucking-
B: Red's good. M: Red's good. B: I like red. W: I hate you all.
W: NO. NO. B: Shut up.
B: Eat it.
B: Suck one. W: Not me, not me, not me!
W: Fuck.
B: Do it Barbara. Do it real good.
B: Yeah, I got one of those too.
W: I GOT ONE OF THEEESE.
W: Shouldn't have given me your hand, Barbara!
M: I'm sorry.
M: I'm just enjoying- enjoying what's happening.
W: I hate everything about Barbara and she just-
W: Are you shitting me? B: Okay, I guess I'll just play that one then.
B: That's okay. Oh, boy.
B: Okay, thanks, buddy. W: You're welcome.
B: That's cool. Look at all of these good cards!
B: Oh, man!
B: So good!
B: Oh, hey. W: 666!
B: Oh, tHaNKs, dUde! (all laugh)
B: Oh, wow, you did it just for me!
B: Those are keepers, I'm keeping that, I'll play that.
B: Oh, that's good.
B: You can have mine!
B: You want mine. Listen, Wade, trust me. (laughing)
W: No, I want Barbara to draw.
B: No, Wade we could play a game.
B: Oh, no. Oh, boy. That's the wrong one.
(wade laughs)
B: Listen, Wade, we're gonna play a game.
M: What's the colour? Is it- is it yellow?
B: It's yellow, yeah.
B: Well... Okay, do it to Barbara, yeah yeah.
W: Let's go yellow, Bob.
W: FUCK!
(mark laughs)
W: Nooo, nooooo!
B: Ah, well, you could've just- you could've just-
B: No, wait, we can still do it!
W: Nononononono.
B: It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, you can totally get them back.
B: Mark, dude, listen, you had even more than it looked like.
B: You had all these great cards.
W: WHAT THE FUCK BARBARA?
B: Ah, here, Wade, I have a present for you!
W: Aw, thanks, I got Barbara's goddamn cards!
B: Aw, man, I got my hand back! I love this hand!
B: It's a good hand. I'm feeling positive about this, guys.
W: Mark, WHAT THE FUCK?
B: Aw, man, now it's red! Now it's blue! That's good too.
B: Aw, thanks, buddy! I didn't have one, so you saved me there!
B: Ooooh, double 3, look out!
B: Oh, oh, ooooh, noooo. Oh wow.
W: I'm angry for you.
B: Ahhh, mmmm... I'm gonna gamble.
B: C'mon, buddy.
(marks laughs) W: NOOOOOO, B̵̢̡̹̗̣̻̩̯̺̗̳̞͓̗̫̦̳͕̘̭̻̬̰̳̟̓̒̾̂̾͋̿̀̑̾͌̄͆̋̏̀̆͌̇̒̀̋͌͋͛͘͝A̸̧͉͎̥̮͚̥̾̔́͝R̸̹̹̙̣͇͇̬̜̼̺͔̲͎͔̠̹͉̭̱̞̈́́́̐̇̍̀͑̈̈́̑̀͐̏̄̇͒̀͋̇͠͝͠͝ͅB̴̨̧̛͚̖̯̹̥̝͙̗͕̦͖͕̤͉̥̻͕̫̫̖̘̤̥̦̻̒̑̀͛̓͋͆̾̃̈́͂̈́̎̔̏͘͜͠Ä̵̗̣͈̲̹̜͇̪̬͚͎͎͖͖͓͉̺̤͓͒̈͑̀̔̋́̓̑̆̀̒̈́͌̿̐̎̕̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅR̶̛̥̱̟̜̬̩̎̈́̒̂̑̾̑̏̀̂̏̂̔̃́Á̴͙̩̻̯̞̰͍̏̑̑͐̏̂̈̓́̓̐̚͝
W: B̵̢̡̹̗̣̻̩̯̺̗̳̞͓̗̫̦̳͕̘̭̻̬̰̳̟̓̒̾̂̾͋̿̀̑̾͌̄͆̋̏̀̆͌̇̒̀̋͌͋͛͘͝A̸̧͉͎̥̮͚̥̾̔́͝R̸̹̹̙̣͇͇̬̜̼̺͔̲͎͔̠̹͉̭̱̞̈́́́̐̇̍̀͑̈̈́̑̀͐̏̄̇͒̀͋̇͠͝͠͝ͅB̴̨̧̛͚̖̯̹̥̝͙̗͕̦͖͕̤͉̥̻͕̫̫̖̘̤̥̦̻̒̑̀͛̓͋͆̾̃̈́͂̈́̎̔̏͘͜͠Ä̵̗̣͈̲̹̜͇̪̬͚͎͎͖͖͓͉̺̤͓͒̈͑̀̔̋́̓̑̆̀̒̈́͌̿̐̎̕̚͝͝͠͝͝ͅR̶̛̥̱̟̜̬̩̎̈́̒̂̑̾̑̏̀̂̏̂̔̃́Á̴͙̩̻̯̞̰͍̏̑̑͐̏̂̈̓́̓̐̚͝
B: Good play, good play. W: FUCK!
B: Wow, that's a good one. W: F U C K
(mark laughs) W: FUCK FUCK FUCK.
B: What a game, guys.
B: We're just playin' some threes, back to back.
B: Some one's, back to back.
W: You wanted this deck and you wanted Barbara, this is what you signed up for.
B: Hey, I'm having a great time. (mark laughs)
(mark kinda dying)
B: Whoa, calm down, man. It's just a game, it's fun!
(talking over each other)
B: Enjoy that.
(more talking over each other :n)
B: The swippity swap.
W: Not Barbara, because FUCK Barbara.
B: Swippity swappity! M: What's Barbara got? W: Noooooo.
B: Oh, wait, uh... actually- M: You want Barbara's hand.
M: I think you want Barbara's hand.
B: I want that one. W: No, you want THIS hand!
M: No, I want the hand that Barbara DIDN'T have yet.
W: Oh, this hand is so fuckable, you want THIS hand.
B: Whoa, that's aggressive, that's aggressive. M: That's aggressive.
B: You want to calm it down a little bit there. M: That's not necessary. B: You gotta relax.
B: It's fine, it's fine.
(wade screams)
B: Aw, good shit!
B: Oh, yeah, red, Barbara, look at that. M: Here we gooo!
B: Oooooh, weeee! W: What is ths shit?
B: Barbara always has the best cards, that's what I always say.
M: Yep. B: Awww, look at that yellow, aw, man!
B: That's wild, all those threes in there, look at that.
B: That's crazy. W: Mmmmm.
M: Good choice, Bob. Good choice.
B: Yeah, teamwork.
B: Wow, yellow again? Barbara's got some yellow going on over there.
W: Great.
W: Barbara you did nothing, you can get out of here and take your 5 dollars.
W: (mumbles about barbara)
(mark laughs)
B: I- (mark laughs) B: I-
B: I don't understand what's happening- wow...
(wade choking drowns out bob)
B: I would have never had thought that- W: What a plot twist, she needed fucking blue!
B: That was wild, man. W: (wade coughing) W: I'm dying...
B: Ooh, wow wow wow wow wow!
(wade still choking)
B: That's unfriendly, that's aggressive.
W: IT'S FINE! I'm just choking! (continues to choke)
M: Ah, here we go.
M: I don't know. W: Do it, buddy!
M: (laughing) Thanks, man!
B: Good pick, good pick.
B: Wade- W: I don't believe you.
B: (unintelligible) (mark laughs)
W: I can't see them!
(talking over each other)
W: Everything's fine.
B: Oh, that's cute, yeeeaaah.
B: Oh, yeah.
B: Imma- I'm gonna live the life. 👌
B: That's what I'm gonna do. M: That's a good life.
W: Good choice. M: That's a good choice.
B: That's a good one, right? Am I right?
M: Good choice.
B: Uh oh. M: Oh no. W: It sure is!
(wade maniacally laughs)
B: Dude, that dragon's eating a LOT of cards.
W: Fuck you, Barbara. M: I love it when you laugh, Wade, because I know you're having fun.
M: That's all you need. W: I'm having a great time.
B: You're such an uplifting, happy dude. M: Yeah.
M: Jovial, some might say.
W: Oh, I'm as fucking happy as a fucking lark.
M: Yeah, I can tell.
B: It sounds- it sounds good. M: You're always happiest when you curse, I know that.
M: We know this, I know this. W: You know me, when I'm out there getting the dickins, I'm really giving it.
B: Ah, man, outplayed, outplayed.
B: Oh- yayyy!
W: Oh, alright, just a friendly little 9 here.
M: Uh huh. W: Can you change the goddamn colour, Barbara? Ya fuck.
W: See ya later, hand! (mark chuckles)
B: Cool, cool, cool, yeah, cool, cool, cool.
W: Alright, sweet. Good play everybody, good play.
W: Ah, what a colour change. B: Good colour, look at that colour change.
(mark grumbles) W: Heart of the cards, heart of the cards. 🃏
B: Pfhhhht! Did you do that on purpose?
M: No. DID YOU HAVE YELLOW? NOOOOOO!
(bob cackles)
M: I need to remember what cards I have.
(talking over each other) M: I HAVE to remember! W: Ya sure do!
(bob continues to cackle) W: That would sure be a good thing, huh?
B: Man, my positive attitude.
B: I just SAILED through that.
M: Alright. B: And I just got an email from YouTube that my video about shit is suitable for all advertisers!
W: There you go!
B: Thanks, manual reviewer!
M: That's good to know!
B: Yeah, so, shit's- shit's cool, guys.
B: Shits are cool. M: Cool? All good.
B: Ooh! I got one of those. W: Aw, dude.
W: Lay it on me. M: Take THIS!
M: Barbara.
B: Got her! W: Nononono- thank god.
M: Am I right, everybody?
Recording: Fuck Barbara.
M: Yeah.
(bob giggles) B: Wade, what are you doing here? Come on.
W: Barbara's just-
M: Wai- Awww, come on!
B: I didn't have a choice.
(talking over each other) W: Oh, what are you gonna do, Barbara? SKIP ME?
W: Fucker!
B: That seems to be EXACTLY what she's going to do.
M: I wish I could record you guys' sound bytes!
M: I just want Wade's "Fucker!"
M: (laughing) On my- on my little thing here.
B: I'm just kidding Wade, you don't need to- W: Aw, come on man!
M: Come on, come on guys.
B: Oh, oof, man- yellow, that's too bright for me.
B: I can't afford yellow stuff. You know how much more expensive yellow stuff is than other stuff.
B: I like red. You like red? M: Why that colour?
B: Red's fine. I'm just testing the water.
M: RED'S NOT FINE!
M: Red's not fine. W: I regret everything.
W: It's a great colour, just leave it alone.
B: Barbara- hey- listen!
W: NOOOO! NOOOO! B: Yes Barbara! M: Red's a good colour!
B: (laughing) Wade, is there anyth- W: I SET THAT UP SO GODDAMN PURPOSELY! (bob cackles some more)
W: F U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U C K
M: Oh no... (bob cackles like a fuckin witch) M: Oh...
M: I don't like that it gives me the cards after you've already won. (Bob is still fuckin cackling)
(bob cackling what a suprise)
B: *gasp* Okay, Barbara ABSOLUTELY did that one.
W: YEAH. I KNOW.
Recording: This is fucking Barbara's fault.
(a mess of confusion and cackling honestly i don't even know at this point)
W: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GET, BARBARA.
(bob w h e e z i n g)
(bob still laughing) B: God Dammit.
B: Oh, well. W: This fucking happy, peaceful music bullshit.
W: Fucker.
B: This is a party. M: Fucker.
Recording: Fucker.
Recording: Fucker. Fucker. Fucker. B: Oh, it was my turn. Oh, that's fine.
W: Oh, god, my hand played so goddamn beautifully!
W: Like a fucking violin in the cello of night!
B: Mmhm... Yeah, yeah. Recording: Alright.
B: You right.
W: I had the zero I could have played!- Recording: You right.
W: -Fuck you, Wade! Recording: You right.
B: Mhm. Oh, yeah. You right. Recording: You right! Shut up, fuck you!
W: FUCKER! (it was at this moment that wade knew he fucked up)
B: Fucking Barbara! Recording: Fucker!
Recording: f u c k  b a r b a r a
W: Fucker! Recording: You right!
W: Fucker!
B: This is fucking Barbara's fault!
(mark silent giggles) (wade sighs)
B: But am I right tho? Recording: You right!
(mark and bob giggle) W: Stop. Stop.
M: Aw, come on, now.
B: We're here to have a good time, but I'm not here to just let you win like Wade does.
(mark laughs)
W: Here, Bob. Let's play a fucking game.
B: Pffft, I got garbage, have fun!
W: I take it back! Bob, I take it back! M: You sounded like you got drunk halfway through that fucking sentence.
W: Bob, me me me me me me me! M: WHY ME?
M: Why me? B: Nahhhh...
W: WHY NOT ME? B: Cool, right?
W: Why not me? M: Pretty cool.
B: Yeah, it's fun, right? M: Yeah. W: WHY NOT ME?
B: Dunno. W: (mumbling) Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna play a fuckin' four... (grumbling)
B: I would let you win, Mark, but I HAVE to play, this. I'm sorry.
M: That's okay, I get it.
B: Barbara's probably gonna give you the victory, though.
M: I unders- uh oh.
B: Oh, she's gonna try! Come on, Barbara.
B: You know what colour it needs to be.
W: You say no, no- I say yes, yes- wait, Barbara no!
W: You ruined it. B+M: YAAAAAAAAAY! W: B A R B A R A
W: B  A  R  B  A  R  A  M: Yeaaaaah!
M: Wa-hoooo! B: Good game, good game!
W: BAAAAAAAAAAAARBARAAAAAA
M: Yeah!
M: Alright! B: Unbelievable game, Mark! M: Great! W: WHAT THE FUCK BARBARA?
M: Yeah! B: Oh, Wade, you're in last place. W: Why everyone but me?!
M: Alright!
B: Mark; that was a good hand, man. That was a good game, Mark. M: Yeah, that was a good game, it felt good.
W: BARBARA JUST (unintelligible)! GOD DAMMIT!
M: Yeah- Uh oh. B: Why didn't-
B: That's not what I clicked on, but okay.
M: Ohh. W: (screeching) BARBARA!
(mark giggles) (a can of coke is opened by bob)
B: Hey- listen- Wade, here.
B: I gotta- I gotta good hand, you can have it.
B: Wooo... You've got some special cards in here.
M: Lemme take a look. Lemme take a look. B: Check that shit out, man. That's craaaazy. M: OOoooooh... Ahhhhhhhh...
M: Wade, I didn't know you liked to party like this.
W: I love it. B: I changed my mind. W: GOD DAMMIT.
W: FUCKIN' BULLSHIT.
B: Wade, you remember how bad I lost at "Trouble"? You just gotta take the good with the bad, man.
W: It's fine. I'm fine.
B: It's okay. W: I'm fine, I just hate Barbara so much.
B: You don't sound fine, you sound like you're havin' trouble. Y-y-y-y-y-you need to take a breath, man.
M: I feel like you're projecting a lot of your own insecurities on Barbara.
M: And it's actually YOU. B: Yeah, definitely.
W: Come on Dr Phil, lay it on me! M: I did.
B: Look, Wade, when you feel this rage, ask yourself "Who am I really mad at?"
B: I think we all know- W: BARBARA. B: -you're mad at yourself.
W: I'm mad at- B: No, no-
W: W H Y  I S  I T  G R E E N
M: Cuz I wanted it green! B: That's just deflection. Wade, you gotta be honest- you gotta be open with yourself.
W: Barbara is- (demon noises)
W: (like marge simpson) I didn't want green!
B: You're projecting, you're deflecting, you're defending.
W: BARBARA! B: See, that's not Barbara's fault.
B: That's the heart of the cards.
W: Barbara's donating- "Why not you because you blame me for things-" FUCK YOU BARBARA (rushed mumbling).
B: I accept your +4, Mark.
W: I guess, by the transit of property, that I also accept your +4, because fuck everything that I was going to do!
M: Alright. B: Well, that's kind of positive.
B: It's somethin'. Wade, can you do anything about this?
(talking over each other) B: You gotta pay attention, man.
W: Anyone has a yellow 2? Or a green 3?
(marks laughs)
W: You guys have a green 3?
B: It's not "Go Fish," Wade, it's not "Go Fish."
W: You could play it so I could jump in!
W: Green nine it is, I guess.
W: Here you go Barbara, watch this, see if you win.
W: A fucking four, fuck you.
B: Wade, I still feel like you're not taking responsibility for your own actions.
W: I am fucking responsible as shit!
(talking over each other)
B: I- I- I'm on your side, bud. I want things to work out for you.
W: Isn't it a blue four, so I can't play my fucking red four?
W: God dammit. B: Yeah it's a blue four, you better watch out for that. Or, you could just let Barbara win.
W: NOOOO.
B: Hey, everybody gets a turn!
B: Why can't Barbara win? M: Yeah!
W: She DID! Two games ago! M: No, I don't remember that.
W: Oh, fuck you!
B: You're just feelin'- you're so just angry right now.
(talking over each other) W: I'm not angry, I'm happy as shit!
B: Oh, Barbara, hey, Barbara, you know what to do.
W: That feels so good in my GODDAMN LOINS.
B: Alright, that's creepy, Wade. W: I know.
B: You need to calm down. W: You know. You know it.
M: Whatcha got back there, Wade? W: I got two blues, a yellow, and a very good +4.
M: You were right, you right.
W: I don't get to jump in, because fuck everything.
B: Now I don't know if it's really you or the recording! That's terrifying.
M: You right. Recording: You right. M: You right. Recording: You right.
(bob laughs) B: Ah, shit.
B: That thing is hilarious.
M: I can't wait until all three of us has one of these things.
B: Jesus. M: Then, we'd never have to talk again!
B: We should do a challenge where we have to pre-record conversations
B: Or like, phrases, and then have a whole stream where we communicate using only the phrases.
M: Ah, that'd be great. I like that idea.
B: That's not a good colour, Wade- that's a rough hbjjjkf.
B: You know what? I could use some more cards, that's what I could use.
W: Somehow, two people just gifted subs to fucking Barbara.
B: Holy sweet Jesus, chat.
M: Uh oh, I didn't want to do that, that just happened.
B: Oh, man, all my wild draw 4's are just gonna get spread around the Earth.
W: Alright, well let's just get this party started right away.
B: Yeah, I don't have one of those. (mark laughs) W: Okay, nevermind.
B: I appreciate the sentiment, though. W: I thought we were all just gonna fuck each other right there, but I guess not.
M: I mean...
W: I was ready for the fuckening. I was gonna film the goddamn FUCKING SEQUEL. Sorry, Bob.
B: I don't know why you assume the worst of me. I'm here to be your friend, man.
B: I'm a collector of cards. I'm here to be your friend. He's got a blue and a red.
(talking over each other)
M: I feel as though- W: Leave it red so I can give Bob this card!
M: I didn't mean to click that. I didn't mean to click that, actually.
B: I'm gonna switch- let's switch this around a little bit.
B: I'll correct your error. I'll correct your error.
W: If Barbara gets un- B: Good job, Barbara! Way to go, Barbara!
W: Goddamnit!!
W: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
B: Oh, yes, Barbara, please!
B: I could've jumped in, but I'm gonna let Barbara win. M: Heeeeyyyy!
W: MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(outro music builds up)
B: Good play, Barb. Good play.
(jovial outro music plays)
Hey! I'm the captioner for this video! These took a while, but I hope it was worth it.
