

~**~

_The Workings of a 'Happily Ever After'_ | Book 4

The Bookworms and Booya Saga

© 2001 By Nona Mae King

Published by Mintfield Books at Smashwords

Inspired by the characters Zell Dincht, the Library Girl,

and other characters from

Final Fantasy VIII © SquareEnix

Cover design by Fury Publishing

Discover other titles by Nona Mae King at Smashwords:

Fantasy:

To Save a Soul

Romance:

My Fair Princess

Searching for Sara

Fan-Fiction:

Bookworms and Booya (series)

Few Words

The Reluctant Knight

In Theory

A Rose by Any Other Name

Terra (series)

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the site and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

~**~
_Author's Note:_ _The following is a work of Fan-Fiction based on the world and characters from the video game_ Final Fantasy VIII _by Square-Enix. Additional information about the game and characters can be found at_ Mintfield.net _and_ Wikipedia _._

~**~

**Glossary of** Characters **:**

 Sally Regal (the Library Girl)\-- a timid individual who has a knack for solving puzzles and a fierce loyalty to Zell Dincht. She was originally enrolled at Garden by her parents to help her with her extreme shyness and lack of social aptitude.

 Zell Dincht\--an impulsive martial artist who is loyal to his friends. He also has a passion for hot dogs, a recurring gag of the game being they are always sold out by the time he reaches the cafeteria. He grew up at the same orphanage as Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, Squall and Seifer, who gave him the nickname "chicken-wuss". Zell was adopted by "Ma Dincht" from the city of Balamb.

 Quistis Trepe\--Head of Instruction at Balamb Garden. She grew up at the same orphanage as Zell, Squall, Seifer, Selphie and Irvine. She was adopted at a young age, though never grew close to her adoptive family.

 Selphie Tilmitt\--an instructor at Balamb Garden who originally transferred from the now destroyed Trabia Garden. She is active and energetic, although slightly clumsy. She participates in many extracurricular activities, such as planning the Garden Festival and running the school's website.

 Squall Leonhart\--Commander of the Garden Network. He rarely speaks and is known as a lone wolf who always focuses on duty. He grew up at the same orphanage as Quistis, Zell, Seifer, Selphie, and Irvine, though he was never adopted.

 Rinoa Heartilly\--the daughter of General Caraway and singer/pianist Julia Heartilly. She is a member of the Forest Owls, a resistance faction seeking to liberate the small nation of Timber from Galbadian occupation. Squall and Rinoa are romantically involved.

 Seifer Almasy\--Head of Network Security and long-time rival of Squall. He is hard on his team and demands nothing but the best. The head of the Disciplinary Committee before the second Sorceress War. He is often seen as a bully rather than a true law enforcer.

 Fujin 'Ahndra' Kelley\-- a young woman with pale skin, short silver hair and an eye patch. She was a member of Seifer's Disciplinary Committee and is now part of Garden's Security Network. Fujin prefers to speak in terse sentences, often with only a single word.

 Irvine Kinneas\-- one of the Garden's elite sharpshooters. He acts like a carefree, but misunderstood loner; however, this is merely a façade to charm women and hide his lack of confidence. He grew up at the same orphanage as Quistis, Zell, Seifer, Selphie, and Squall.

Jaxon Crest\--(property of J. Seay) Entered Trabia Garden at the age of fifteen and quickly progressed through the ranks. Studied battle theory and practiced swordsmanship since the age of ten. He is easy to work with and is often requested for missions outside of the Garden Network. He still feels guilt about the death of his fiancée.

Marshal Beita\--(property of Nona Mae King) a calm individual who thinks before acting, generally only behaving irrationally when protecting those he cares about. He has a tendency of using sarcastic humor to alleviate tension. He witnessed his younger sister's rape and murder.

~**~

The Workings of a 'Happily Ever After' | Book 4

Chapter One:

Assignments

_Priscilla Dincht._ I wrinkled my nose and scratched out the name as I adjusted my chin within my hand. _Yuck._ I tapped the end of the pen onto the paper and the half a dozen or so names listed. Zell Jr., the name of our first boy. Beth, the name of our first daughter. _Sally Elizabeth Dincht_ , the name of Zell's first and only wife.

I sighed, my expression growing wistful as I remembered again the happiest night of my life. My twentieth birthday and all the surprises that had come with it.

_'Sally,'_ Zell had said, his face so serious and his voice as beautiful as anything I ever heard-- _'This has been the best six months of my life. I never knew being this close to a girl could be so awesome. I mean, I can tell you everything and you actually listen and think it's important. You stand up for me. You do things just because you know I'll like them, even though you normally wouldn't because you're so shy. We've had our rough spots and smoothed them over because we wanted our relationship to work. We talked, sometimes we argued, but it was all good. No, it was great. I mean... Damn. You_ _love_ _me, and I've never had that with_ _anyone_ _.'_

Then he had gone down on one knee and pulled an opened velveteen box from behind him as he asked, _'Will you marry me?'_

I shivered and giggled as I hid my face in my hands and again whispered, "Yes, Zell. Yes, yes, yes."

So we were engaged. I was going to be Mrs. Zell Dincht. Sally Elizabeth Dincht. After three and a half years of wishing and hoping and praying, I was going to marry my sweetheart. In my love-drunk mind, life couldn't get any better. Yet I hoped it would. Actually, I knew it would. There was the honeymoon.

I flushed and giggled again, giving a twitch at the sound of a person sitting at my table in the cafeteria at Balamb Garden. I quickly lowered my hands and looked up into Selphie's smiling face. "Hi."

"Hey, Sally." She pointed at the paper. "Whatcha doin'?"

I looked down, my wistful gaze returning as I sighed. "Thinking of names for our kids."

Selphie squealed. "Cute!"

I closed the spiral notebook very tenderly. "I should be thinking about the wedding, though," I admitted.

"Can I help?"

The spontaneous offer drew my gaze and a relieved smile. "Would you? I don't have any idea how to plan a wedding, Selphie, and I don't want it to be the worst one in history."

"Sure! No problem. We just need to figure out when you two want to be married, where you want to be married, and then figure out what you and Zelly want so that we can make it happen. Simple."

"I certainly hope so."

Selphie reached across the table and gave my hand a squeeze. "It'll be wonderful, Sally. Just you watch."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Here. Give me the notebook."

I passed it to her, watching as she turned the pages to the first available sheet and then took the offered pen.

"First, we need to figure out when you two are going to get married," she informed, her voice business-like. It made me want to laugh. "Have you two talked about it?"

I shook my head. "No. This whole week Zell had to be with Marshal at Deling Garden. A meeting or something." And I missed him. "But he's sent me a couple emails." Which made me miss him more.

"But you haven't talked about the wedding?" Selphie asked, eyes wide as she slightly shook her head. "At all?"

My cheeks flushed, and I lowered my gaze to the notebook to doodle Zell's name in a corner. "He's been so busy with Marshal and SLC Seifer and Cmdr. Squall. I haven't wanted to bother him. Not yet."

"But the wedding!" Selphie protested. "You can't put it off until Zell isn't busy; because he always is!"

"Oh, I won't put off talking to him **that** long," I assured as I met her gaze. "Just until he gets back."

"Promise?"

I nodded, smiling. "I already told Zell I'd like to talk about it. That's why we're going out to dinner."

Selphie's expression brightened. "Good girl."

I giggled. "Janine would've had a fit if I hadn't. Every day she's asking me if we've set a date." I shook my head, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I think I'll put her in charge of something, so she'll leave me alone."

Selphie laughed. "Good idea--Ooo! Ooo!" she suddenly squealed, grabbing my hand. "Can I be in charge of the flowers and decorations? Please? And the pictures, too."

I blinked, eyes wide. "Really? You'd want to do something?"

"Sure! Your wedding's going to be **the** thing of the decade."

Again, I blinked. "How come?"

"'How come?' Because it's **Zell** and **you**. **The** cutest couple of the millennium. Well, at least as cute as Rinoa and Squall."

I flushed and resumed my doodling of Zell's name.

"But the fact that you're the first of us to be married is making this **the** thing," Selphie finished.

"No pressure," I whispered.

Selphie giggled. " **No** pressure, Sally. Especially considering how awesome your birthday party was. Now." She took the pen back from me. "What did you want for flowers and stuff? We can talk about when and where later."

I cupped my chin in my hand as I absently asked, "Flowers?" while already day-dreaming of the white dress, and the white flowers, and the tuxedo Zell would wear at the altar--also bedecked with white flowers. Doves would fly as we kissed and then we would run away to the ship--or yacht--that would take us to Winhill for two weeks of wedded bliss--

snap-snap "Terra to Sally. Come in."

I blinked and straightened, my cheeks burning volcanic red as I lowered my gaze and picked at the table. "Sorry," I murmured.

Selphie smiled at me. "Don't be sorry. It's cute, and you two are **so** lucky." She focused again on the notebook while she chewed on the end of the pen. "Outdoor or indoor?"

_'Lucky.'_ "Outdoor," I said, watching her. _'Lucky.'_ That word reminded me how Zell mentioned something once about her and Irvine Kinneas, but I had never seen them act as anything more than close friends.

"Ooo. That'll be pretty in the Spring." Selphie jotted some notes. "There are some gorgeous flowers that bloom in the early spring which would be perfect for a wedding. And if you wore a garland of them in your hair?" She squealed.

I smiled. Selphie was so much like me, but not. Where I was shy and introverted, she was outgoing and a bit outspoken. She was nice, and perky, and was one of the most popular Instructor's at Garden--besides Zell and Janine. I couldn't understand why she hadn't found someone special. I mean, Quistis had Zack--near as I could tell. They always denied everything when asked--I had Zell, Rinoa had Squall, Ahndra had Marshal, and I had begun to wonder if Seifer had a thing for Janine--completely perfect for each other. Why couldn't Selphie have **her** sweetheart?

"I'll get some different flowers from each season and have you pick, then that will help you and Zell close in on a date," Selphie continued. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Great!" Selphie nibbled on the end of her pen again. "Did you want a singer at your processional, or not?"

"I... I don't know."

"Hm. I'll let you and Zelly talk about it. And what about special music? You know. The couple thing. **You** can sing to **him**?"

I flushed. It would be romantic, but I would die.

"Oh. What about food for the reception? Can we have it here? That way Francine can be in charge," Selphie suggested.

My expression brightened. "That would be perfect."

"Cool!" Selphie wrote a few more notes and then ripped the page free. She folded it up and tucked it into the pocket of her uniform as she stood. "I'll talk to some people and get back to you. Okay?"

I nodded and then watched her go. Then my gaze was drawn to the notebook. I drew it close and turned back the pages until I saw _Sally Elizabeth Dincht_. I smiled and sighed. How many times had I doodled the same into journals and onto miscellaneous pieces of paper, hoping it would one day come true while not believing it possible?

And then I talked to him. And then I asked him for help. And then... then... Everything from then on remained a happy blur of laughter and kisses and intense conversations of what meant the world to us. All led to this one spectacular moment in time when I was engaged to Zell Dincht.

Me. The library girl.

I sighed again and leaned back in the chair, lifting my left hand to look at the two rings there. My engagement ring and my half of the ring I had given to him 'just because'. It had always been big enough to wear on my middle finger. As if it had waited for the time when my ring finger would be occupied. As if it knew.

My eyes crinkled at the corners and I sounded a soft and very silly giggle, closing my eyes and lowering my chin to relive the day I had given him the ring. To relive the day he had given me a better one. To relive all the days I had known him as more than just a watcher. Can a person die of happiness?

I felt a soft and warm touch on my neck and shivered, smiling wider as I lifted my head and opened my eyes to look to my right. Zell sat down beside me, grinning his usual boyish grin that usually always left me weak in the knees.

I launched myself from the chair into his arms with a squeal of "Hi, sweetie!"

He laughed out a "Whoa!" and adjusted his balance to keep us from tipping the chair over backward.

"I missed you," I told him once I pulled back and settled myself onto his lap.

Zell rested his interlaced fingers of his joined hands onto my right hip as he smiled up at me. "I missed you, too, kitten." Then the smile warped to an annoyed frown. "And it sucked over there. Nothing but a bitch session on how their life is so damned hard. All I can say is that if they hadn't screwed off in the first place, they wouldn't be there. Each and every candidate and SeeD is given enough warnings to pull their head out of their as--butt. If they don't, well, they get sent to Deling. It's better than getting a dishonorable discharge."

My lips drooped. "I'm sorry you didn't have any fun."

"Tch! Marshal made it better than a stick in the a--" Zell cleared his throat. "Butt."

I giggled and wrinkled my nose at him. "You don't have to censor yourself, sweetie. I can do it."

He grinned. "I know." Then Zell stood, lifting me up in his arms. I squealed a giggle. "Come on. I need to beat some shit up. A couple of the SeeDs there really got on my nerves. Pains in the ass both. Too bad I couldn't call 'em out. I woulda loved to pop 'em once or twice."

I crossed my ankles and adjusted my arms around his neck. "Okay, but we can't for too long. Remember, you said we could talk about the wedding plans over dinner." _Wedding._ I fought back the fuzzies and the daydream so that I could focus on Zell.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't **ever** forget that." His boyish grin returned as he kicked open the cafeteria door. "Why do you think I'm carryin' ya? Practice."

I giggled and kissed his cheek. "You silly boy."

Zell chuckled and then set me down to take my hand. We headed down the hall for the main corridor. "You sure we can't just run away and have a Captain marry us?"

"I..." _Eloping would be_ _so_ _romantic, Zell, but..._ I had wanted a wedding to Zell Dincht for three years.

"I know. You want your mom and pop there. And Zack. And all your friends. It's just... I don't know. I don't want to wait another six months before gettin' ya to myself. It sucks."

The flush that burned my cheeks must have been contagious, because Zell looked about as red. I released his hand and wrapped my arms around his middle to give him a tight squeeze. "It'll be worth it in the long run, though. Won't it? To have all the pictures and the memories and... everything? I mean, it's going to be the happiest day of our lives. I want to share that with everyone."

Zell rubbed my back. "Me, too, it's just... Well, like I said, the wait is going to suck."

And I knew what he meant. After all, I still remembered Winhill like it was burned into my brain.

~*~

"Okay. Let's get this whole wedding thing worked out," Zell said as he held my chair out for me at our table in the Quad.

A new perk for Ranking Officers and Instructors was a small 'restaurant' catered by the cafeteria ladies and set up in the first portion of the Quad around the tree there. The Café had been inspired by Selphie and Rinoa and proposed to Commander Squall only a few weeks ago, before my birthday party even. There had been a general poll made available on Selphie's website to get a reaction to the possibility, involvement, prices, etc.

The idea had won, with only two emphatic disapprovals from Seifer and Ahndra--of course. No one told me the reasons, but I was sure it had something to do with security and order. Seifer and Ahndra didn't like chaos, even a little bit of it, because they said it always grew to something uncontrollable.

Seifer and Ahndra both liked controlling things.

Zell sat across from me and spread his cloth napkin over his lap. He wore black jeans and a dark blue shirt with a white collar and a red stripe circling mid chest. It looked a bit too 'civilian rich kid' for Zell, but I figured it was more than likely something his mother had sent for a birthday present or something. Of course, whether it was Zell or not didn't matter to me. He looked awesome in everything.

I smiled and gave a slight shake of my head before looking down to the notebook and opening it to the page where Selphie had helped me write specific questions. "Okay. The first important question is: When?"

"Tomorrow, if it were up to me."

I giggled and looked up to meet Zell's boyish grin. "And your second option?"

"Next week?"

"Zell." I wrinkled my nose at him. " **Realistic** option. There's no way we can organize a wedding ceremony in a week."

"What d'ya mean?" he protested. "Squall can run the ceremony, the T.C. would be perfect for your outdoor wedding, and I bet Francine wouldn't give a rat's ass if we had the reception in the Cafeteria. Why's it so impossible?"

I lifted an eyebrow as I stared down at my list, my expression thoughtful as I chewed lightly on the end of my pen. Then I pushed it aside and smiled brightly, giggling as I focused again on Zell's serious face. "No. No. No. I'm **not** going to rush this."

"'Rush?' What 'rush'? You've been wanting this for three years and me for about 3 months already. Been busting my hump to get everything lined up." Zell leaned forward, resting his arms against the table. I did the same, the silly smile still on my lips. "Tell ya what. Let's figure a compromise. You want a fancy thing, I want something simple and quick. Why don't we figure three months max for a wedding here. If plans fit together sooner, then we get married sooner. If plans fit together later, then we elope."

I laughed and Zell grinned.

"So," he continued, "three months from your birthday is the date, but with no promises for it not to be sooner."

"But what about all the people that want to go? Like my parents. Or your ma. Or Zack and Quistis. And President--"

"Tough," Zell said, a quick nod enunciating how serious he was.

I shook my head, still smiling. "I'll agree to the three months, Zell, but not sooner. I want everyone to have a chance to come."

Zell pushed his lips to one side as he regarded me. Then he grinned. "Okay. Three months is a helluvalot better than six."

I giggled as I wrote the date down after the question. "Okay. If it's going to be here, then we answered two questions at the same time."

"Cool!"

I jotted down the information while absently saying, "Commander Squall to perform ceremony. Training Center for outdoor ceremony. Cafeteria for Reception..." I looked up to meet Zell's lopsided smirk. "Can we have dancing in the Quad, too?"

His lopsided smirk changed sides. "I want to see you in a strapless number."

I flushed and looked back down to the list. "Dancing at the Quad. Note to self: strapless for sweetie."

Zell laughed and my heart jumped and frolicked all over the place. Finally, one of the waiter/candidates came and took our order, also leaving glasses of water for us to sip until our sodas came.

"What's next?" Zell asked when the waiter/candidate left, sitting up real straight to try and read my list upside down. "This is kinda fun."

"Next. Next. Um..."

"Honeymoon," Zell prompted.

I giggled and looked up. "Don't get me started on that until we get these other things out of the way."

He smirked. "Fine. What's next, then?"

"What colors, and what do we want as decorations for the Reception and the ceremony?"

Zell made a face. "Balamb-Blue, of course, and can't we leave that up to someone else?"

I sniggered. "Okay. Balamb-Blue and. . . Silver. And I'll tell Selphie she can be in charge of that." I made a note on the page. "But I'll make sure she knows to run the final stuff with us."

"Good idea," Zell said, sniggering. "Next?"

"Invitations." I looked up. "Can we do them?"

Zell made yet another face. "Please tell me you mean address them and not design them?"

"Pick them out of a book," I said, smiling. "Addressing will be just sticking labels on envelopes."

"Whew. Sure. We can do that. But you're not gonna want anything too fancy, right? I mean, you'll save me from all the frills and stuff, right?"

Giggling almost uncontrollably at his expression and the seriousness of his tone, I said, "I'll save you, sweetie. Promise."

Zell grinned. "Cool." Then the serious expression returned again and he tapped on the notebook paper. "Just something nice and simple, but it can have, like, a gold border or something. Nice writing, too, of course. I just don't want all the damned curly-q's and crap like that."

I nodded and noted that on the paper. "Okay. When did you want to get together to do the list?"

"List?"

"The names of the people invited," I prompted.

"Oh. Right. Duh." He itched at the back of his head. "I guess I could make up a list between classes." Zell met my smiling gaze. "Couldn't we just invite everyone from all the Gardens like we did for your birthday party?"

I giggled. "Zell, sweetie, how are we going to get everyone to fit?"

He grinned. "We could have Galbadia pick up and come over and help with the crowd control."

I laughed harder, my eyes tearing up. "No. No. No, Zell. We are **not** going to have thousands of people at my wedding. Francine would kill us if she had to feed our SeeDs **and** everyone else's."

"Oh. Right. I guess she would." Zell scrubbed again at his neck and scalp. He snapped and pointed at me. "How about this: We have a Reception at each Garden. One right after the other."

My laughter stopped as my jaw gaped. "Are you serious?"

"Sure! It'll be fun." He grinned. "More presents."

I leaned back in the chair with a quick exhalation of breath. "I can hardly imagine planning **one** Reception, Zell. Don't ask me to do three others. **Please**."

"Plan? Who said you had to plan them? I wouldn't do that to you. Make someone else do it. Strictly voluntary. If they don't tell us they've set up a Reception, we don't go."

"Well..." But the thought of going to more than one Reception, which would more than likely last at least 3 or 4 hours each, and thereby delaying that first night together... I flushed and lowered my gaze to the table-top.

"Oh! I meant to ask you if I could do the music for the Reception."

I looked up. "Really? I was thinking of asking Janine to do it."

"Oh. Okay. Never mind, then."

I smiled at his somewhat morose tone and reached across to grip his hand, drawing his gaze. "I haven't asked her yet. If you want to do it, that's even better. Just look how awesome the music was at my birthday party?"

Zell grinned. "Cool."

I gave his arm another squeeze, pulling back when the waiter/candidate arrived with our sodas, my salad, and Zell's soup.

"What else before talking about the honeymoon?" Zell prompted as he crumbled crackers into his cream soup.

"What else." I pulled the notebook a little closer and fingered down the list--I worried my lower lip as I stared at the question I didn't want to ask.

"Hey. What's the matter?" Zell asked, reaching out to give my arm a squeeze.

Meeting his gaze was the hardest thing I had to do, but I did, cheeks flushing as I confessed, "Selphie thinks I should sing."

Zell grinned at first, but then realization dawned and his brilliant smile faded. "Or we could have Rinoa do it. She's got a crap-load of songs her mother wrote before she died. And she loves singing in front of people."

And that was when the battle began. I would rather have died than say 'No' to doing something that I knew Zell really wanted. But I would die if I had to do it. I never sounded very good singing in front of people, but I knew in my heart Zell was worth the terror. After all, hadn't I faced a similar terror just asking him out?

I lowered my gaze to the paper as I wrote and said "Rinoa," and added a question-mark beside. "I'll talk to her about it," I said softly. And I twitched when I heard Zell sigh. He really wanted me to sing, but I knew he wouldn't ever ask me to do it. I sighed deep and doodled in the margin. "Zell."

"Kitten, I know how you are in front of people," he interrupted. "It's okay for Rinoa to sing instead."

The silence that followed made me peek up at him, and I caught the meaningful expression in his eyes and the lopsided and boyish smirk.

"I'll just get you to sing to me on the honeymoon," he said, eyebrows wiggling.

I hid a giggle.

"And **now** we talk about the honeymoon," he prompted between bites of soup. "Winhill, right?"

I busily poured dressing onto my salad. "I had hoped so. I really loved it there."

"And we never got to check out that tree fort. Great place to make out, I hear."

I dropped my fork and looked up. "From who?"

Zell wiggled his eyebrows. "Guess."

I gasped and covered my mouth. "No way."

Zell nodded. "You got it."

"Marshal and... Marshal and..."

"Yup."

I sighed and lowered my wistful gaze back to my salad. _Marshal and Ahndra. Making out._ I giggled.

"So, yeah, I'd like to try it for myself," Zell was saying, completely serious, which made me giggle again.

"Winhill would be spectacular, Zell," I confessed.

"Three weeks?"

"Thr--" My fork dropped again as I looked up to meet his gaze. " **Three** weeks. I thought..."

"You'd rather a month?" Zell shrugged. "I guess I can use all of my vacation time. I just wanted to save that for our six month anniversary."

My cheeks burned crimson. "No. I was thinking **two** weeks."

"Two weeks? We can't hardly do anything in two weeks."

I blinked, shocked silent.

"I figure we'd spend a couple days in Timber hanging out with your folks and Zack and Quis at the T.V. station," he continued, tone serious. "Then we'd charter a ship to Winhill to do what we didn't do before, namely the tree fort and the chocobo farm. Then I figured we could sail around for the last couple weeks, stopping off at the orphanage and maybe Tears' Point or Cactuar Island before heading for home. Maybe even stopping off at Fisherman's Horizon, if we've got time."

I wordlessly nodded as I lightly bit my lower lip to keep from bawling with joy.

Zell's ears got a little pink. "I've got it all lined up, basically. I just need to give the ship guy a date of when we're gonna leave." He cleared his throat and swirled his cream soup. "I was... I wanted it to be a surprise. I already told Seifer that you'd need three weeks off, so that was already taken care of, but I guess I should have told you before."

I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "It's okay." I sent him a teary smile. "I love surprises."

And wasn't three weeks alone with him the best surprise of my life?
Chapter Two:

Requests

"Hey, Sal gal."

I looked up from my desk within the Security Section of Balamb Garden and smiled at the tall, gorgeous, and slender young woman with the spiked black hair and dark brown eyes. She had only been filling in for a few of Quistis' classes at first. Quistis had then been working at my older brother Zack's T.V. station part-time, until she could find and train a full-time Assistant.

But then, just before my birthday party, Quistis decided to take a leave of absence from Garden and work at the T.V. station full-time--I guess work had picked up since she had gone on staff--and Janine needed to fill in for all of Quistis' classes. Janine Larabie seemed a part of the Balamb Garden family, and I loved having her there.

"Hi, Janine. What are **you** doing down here?"

Janine lifted a report. "Homework. Need to drop it off for H.O.S."

I giggled, never prepared for when she called Seifer 'hoss'.

Janine smirked and leaned a hip against my desk as she crossed her arms. "You set a date yet?"

"Three months from my birthday," I reported.

Janine straightened sharply. "...the hell! You serious? There's no way you can plan a wedding in less than three months!"

I smiled up at her. "Selphie's planning the decorations for the Reception and the wedding, we're having Commander Squall perform the ceremony at the Training Center--Zell promised to ask him today--the Reception will be in the Cafeteria--Francine already said 'yes' to catering it--and there will be dancing in the Quad. Zell's taking care of the live band, Irvine said he would tend bar, and Rinoa will be helping me pick out the bridal gown and the bridesmaid dresses. Oh! Did you want to be my maid of honor?"

Janine blinked. "You serious?"

I smiled wider. "Of course I'm serious."

Janine smirked and again leaned against my desk while crossing her arms. "I'm not exactly a 'maid', but hell. Why not?"

"Oh wonderful!" I searched within the drawers of my desk for the notebook and wrote Janine's name down.

"Why didn't you ask Selphie?"

"I already have her doing so much for the wedding, so I told her I was going to ask you. I was already torn between you two. After all, you've both done so much for me." I tucked the notebook back away and looked up. Janine had an odd look on her face. "What?"

Janine looked away while giving a slight clearing of her throat. "Nothing."

"Oh. Okay." I worried my lower lip. "Janine?"

She focused again on me. "Yeah."

"Could you help me ask Seifer to be security?" She arched a slim eyebrow, and I hurried on. "Zell and I agree that having so many 'civilians' coming in will be dangerous for Garden, and so we thought Seifer and Marshal would be perfect to coordinate security, but..."

"But you don't have the spine to ask."

I playfully frowned. "Hey. I have spine enough to ask. I'm just sure he'll say 'no'."

"So what am **I** supposed to do about it?" she pressed, smirking.

I giggled. "Make him say 'yes'."

Janine laughed. "Yeah. I figured it was something like that. Well, what makes you think I can?"

"Zell says you got him to go to my birthday party."

Janine's smirk twitched, as did her eyebrow. "Figures. That boy. I'll have to slap him around a bit."

"No. Leave him alone."

Janine shrugged. "Maybe."

I giggled and then stood, my smile very quickly vanishing. "So, can we do it right now? Before I change my mind? I mean, you're down here anyway."

Janine gave my arm a comforting grip. "Okay, Sal gal. I'll help you get the big guy to say 'yes'." She motioned toward his office with a jerk of her head. "Come on."

I followed after her, wringing my hands as she knocked twice on the door with her knuckle and then opened the door before he had even said "Enter." _Oh boy._

"Got a second, sir?" she asked as she stepped inside. Then she motioned me in before even waiting for that response.

Seifer looked up from his current project and raised an eyebrow. "Larabie. Regal. Problem?"

Janine stepped forward, saluted--which received a smirk from Seifer--and handed him the 'homework' previously mentioned. "Here's that paperwork you wanted."

He accepted it and set it aside. Then he gestured toward me. "Regal?"

I cleared my throat and stepped forward, standing in front of one of the chairs so as to use it for support. "Personal question, sir."

"And?" he pressed while sending Janine a sidelong glance.

She stood at ease with her hands clasped behind her back, watching me with a slight smirk.

I cleared my throat again, intercepted Janine's encouraging motion of head toward Seifer, and blurted, "I wanted you and Marshal in charge of security for my wedding."

Seifer's eyebrow lifted and he sat back in his chair, arms crossed. "Mind saying again?"

"I. . . I want. . . ." I swallowed hard. "I know that inviting friends and family will make it so that a lot of new people will be coming and I didn't want to put Garden or the SeeDs or candidates at risk, so I thought that if I had you and Marshal on Security that would make everything safer and you would know what was going on and so you wouldn't think that anything bad was going to happen--as Head of Network Security--and if you didn't have time to do it I knew that you could assign someone else that you trusted to get the job done right--"

"Regal," Seifer interrupted, hand raised. "Calm down."

I flushed. "Sorry," I whispered, sending Janine a sidelong glance. She shook her head, lips smiling with her withheld laughter. I reluctantly smiled and focused again on Seifer.

"So you want me on security detail, do you," he repeated.

I nodded. _Please oh please._ "Yes, sir."

"How much control do I get?"

I blinked. "Control, sir? All of it, sir."

"Uh, Sal gal," Janine interrupted. "That isn't such a wise idea." She focused on Seifer. "No offense."

"Hm."

She looked again to me. "Why don't Dincht and you keep the final say. After all, it's **your** wedding."

"Oh, but I tr--"

"Trust me," she insisted.

"Regal. It's fine. I'll give you final say," Seifer said, drawing my attention.

I blinked, totally and completely unprepared for the ease of the conversation. Of course, I had noticed him to be a lot less stressed. _I wonder if it has anything to do with the black market ring being found and dispersed?_

He leaned forward and again took up the perusal of his reports. "Anything else? Or can I get back to work?"

"That's all, sir. Thank you."

"I've got a problem, though, sir," Janine spoke up. "If you've got a moment."

Seifer sighed and looked back up from his reports. "Fine. Regal, dismissed."

"Yes, sir." I smiled at Janine, to which her expression responded 'You can pay me later,' and then turned to leave. _Wow_ , I thought as I closed the door behind me. And my life seemed to have turned into a collection of those.

I pushed from the door and headed back to my desk, my dreamy and silly smile returning full force. Now I just had to ask Marshal. I was almost positive that he would say 'yes'. Zell had even said that Marshal would ask me to ask Ahndra to help out. I certainly hoped so. I wanted both involved.

I typed in Marshal's ID, waited for the search and then the connect, and then smiled when his face came onscreen. "Hi, Marshal."

Marshal sat up from his desk at Galbadia Garden's Security Section and smiled, his silver eyes twinkling. "Yo, Meg. How's life?"

"Wonderful."

Marshal smirked and set aside a report. "I bet. What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you and Seifer would be security at my wedding."

His smile vanished and then immediately returned. "No kidding?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No kidding. I already asked Seifer and he said 'yes'."

"No shit?" Marshal chuckled and shook his head. "The dickhead's going soft."

"Marshal," I hissed, scolding.

"Oh. Sorry." He cleared his throat. "Sure, Meg. Not a problem. Can I ask Ahndra to help out?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Great." He motioned toward me. "Hey thanks, Meg. Thanks for asking."

I smiled brighter. "Sure, Marshal."

"I better get off. If Seifer finds out you're using company time..."

"Oh. Right." I checked behind me and then did a finger wave and a whispered, "Bye, Marshal."

He chuckled, shook his head, and said, "Bye, Meg."

Then the window disappeared and I brought up my activity window to go back to work. But my mind had already wandered to _wedded bliss..._ I shivered and giggled.

~*~

I heard Zell step into the Infirmary as I changed into my orchid one-piece swimsuit behind one of the curtained 'rooms'. "I'm here, Zell. I'll be out in a sec."

"'Kay."

I heard the rustle of the curtain to the room beside mine as he stepped past to change into his swimming trunks. He looked spectacular in swimming trunks. And jeans. And his uniform...

I giggled. "You should have seen Marshal's face when I said I asked Seifer to be in charge of security for the wedding. It was funny. Oh, and he asked if Ahndra could help, just like you said he would. Just like I hoped he would." I giggled again. "It kept me from having to ask her **and** Seifer. I can only handle one in a day. But Janine was there to offer moral support, thank goodness."

I stepped past the curtain and made my way up to and in to the hot tub. Then I leaned back against the tub and closed my eyes. "Ahhhh."

I heard the soft padding of Zell approaching the hot tub and opened my eyes as I sat up. But my smile faded when I focused on his face. Zell's expression wasn't a bright smile or a grin or a smirk. It was almost somber.

"Can we talk about Winhill for a sec?" Zell asked as he sat a little ways to my right, which completely surprised me.

My hopes plummeted. "Sure, sweetie."

I knew before that he had been waiting for word on whether or not a Garden had been approved for the little town. When a Garden had been turned down by the Network because of Winhill's small size, they had approved, instead, the building of a Security Station.

Unfortunately, the Security Station final approval had been held up because of Winhill's city council dragging their feet by making specific changes to the contract with the Garden Network. Seeing Zell's expression made me wonder if this final contract submission had been denied.

Zell released a deep breath. He didn't meet my gaze. "The Security Station in Winhill was denied."

"Oh no..." My eyes burned with tears as I scooted to sit close beside him. "Zell, I'm so sorry," I said as I wrapped my arms around his mid-section.

"Yeah. Me, too." He let out another breath and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "It sucks, Sally. I really wanted to do the Garden Security thing there."

"I know," I said softly. "So did I."

Zell sighed again, and this time he scrubbed at his scalp. "Now I don't know **what** to do. I **really** thought I was supposed to set up a Security Station. They deserve protection as much as everyone else."

My lips drooped. "I know, but maybe we're supposed to stay here at first?"

"You think?"

I sat up and focused on his thoughtful expression. "Just until Commander Squall and President Laguna change the council's mind. The Commander knows how important a Security Station would be, especially after my report and Marshal and Ahndra's investigation."

"That's true."

"Besides, Mom and Dad said the first year or two of marriage is really hard," I admitted, "with trying to get used to living with another person and stuff like that. Maybe we should just get a larger dorm-room here and live on campus for the first six months or year? Just until things settle down? At least then we won't have to worry about rent or the bills that come with a house."

"Yeah. Housing is free here. Mostly." Zell smirked. "It would definitely be easier on the bank account, huh?"

I smiled and then snuggled back against him. "Who knows? Maybe the Network will arrange to build a Security Station outside the council's limits a little later? That way they don't have to do a contract and the Network can have complete control. There's a first time for everything."

Zell chuckled as he stroked my upper arm. "That'd be a riot, doing it anyway and telling them to go to hell."

I yawned. "Uh-huh," I sleepily admitted as I snuggled closer.

Zell laughed. "There ya go again. Sleeping in the hot tub."

"Can't help it. It's warm," I mumbled. And Zell was better than a pillow.

Zell began to twirl the end of my braid around his finger, and I smiled. "So, I guess we stay here at Garden until things get straightened out," he said, tone thoughtful. "I'll be sure to let Squall know we'll need a bigger room."

"Okay," I sighed.

"But what should I do with the property I bought?"

My eyes snapped open and the 'snoozes' fled. "Property?"

"Yeah. I had bids for building a house and everything. Now what do I do? Do I have them build it anyway? Or should I sell the property and cancel the bids until we know for sure what we're doing?"

I sat up and focused on Zell's thoughtful expression. "Property?" I asked again. "You bought. . . you bought property in Winhill?"

Zell smirked. "Surprise."

My jaw gaped a moment, and then I squealed "Oh Zell!" and kissed his cheek as I threw my arms around him. Then I pushed back and happily rambled "Oh please oh please build a house It doesn't matter to me if we can't live in it right away That will give me time to decorate and buy just the right curtains and furniture Oh I could plant a flower garden and make it so pretty Oh Zell, sweetie, please have them build the house Please oh Please!"

Zell just grinned and said, "Okay."

"Oh thank you Thank you," I cried as I again kissed his face and hugged him tight.

"So much for my surprises," Zell laughed. "I don't have any more. Probably a good thing. I nearly blurted the proposal I don't know how many times. And then the house and the honeymoon? Damn. I thought I was going to go insane."

I giggled a very silly sounding giggle and pushed back. "Thank you so much, sweetie."

He touched my nose. "Sure, kitten. I just wish I could have made the Security Station happen. It would've been great to work for Garden and live in Winhill and do those submission reviews for Combat King all at the same time."

I snuggled down into his side again and released a happy breath. "It could still happen, Zell," I assured. After all, it seemed like the impossible was becoming regular occurrences for me.

"I'll ask Seifer tomorrow about the details of the council's 'no'. He's got to be damned pissed that they turned us down. He hates it when people say 'no'."

I sniggered. "'Death is answering 'no','" I quoted.

Zell laughed. Then he snapped his fingers. "Speaking of 'no', Squall said 'no' to performing the ceremony--"

I sat up, eyes wide. "What?" My lip trembled. "Now what are we going to do?"

Zell pushed his hands toward me in a comforting motion. "Don't cry, Meg. He only said 'no' at first. Then I walked him through it and he said he'd do it."

"Really?" I sniffed. "He said 'yes'?"

One side of Zell's lips twitched upward. "He said 'yes'. It's just he hates doing new crap. Afraid of looking like an ass. That's why I went to the library and checked out a book on Garden wedding procedures, so that I could show him there was nothing to it."

My expression brightened. "You did research?"

His ears turned pink. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I shook my head, still smiling. "Nothing. I just know how you hate it. You'd rather ask someone who knows." I giggled and kissed him on the cheek before snuggling mine against his, eyes closed. "You're very social."

Zell wrapped his arms around me as he nibbled my ear. "Yup."

I giggled out "That tickles," and enjoyed every second of it.

"Duh." He nuzzled my neck, sending thoughts and plans completely out of my head. Then Zell released a deep breath and held me tight as he asked, "This. . . this wedding. It's really happening?" very quietly.

My lips tilted upward in a soft smile as I sighed, relaxing into his arms and whispering, "It is, sweetie. Promise."

~*~

I locked the door of my room and turned off the lights before scurrying over to my computer and turning on the monitor. I logged on to the Internet--after encoding the stream--and found the designated chatroom. I smiled and typed in the greeting message.

**WINGEDHEART** : Meg! Hi! This is exciting!

I giggled. I couldn't help it. Even with what I was currently considering, the prospect of keeping a secret from Zell was always an adventure. **MEGAFENIX** : I know what you mean.

**WINGEDHEART** : So what did you need to ask me that's so secret?

My smile faded a little bit, fear coming quickly in to mutilate my calm and jumble my stomach. **MEGAFENIX** : I was hoping you could teach me how to sing in front of people better.

Rinoa likely fell out of her chair.

**WINGEDHEART** : Of course! What made you change your mind?

**MEGAFENIX** : Him.

**WINGEDHEART** : He didn't talk you into it, did he? This should be your decision.

**MEGAFENIX** : It is, Rin. I promise. He deserves to have the best wedding, and I know how much he wants to hear me sing. Besides, he won't care if I'm horrible or wonderful. Just the fact that I stood up there and did it will be enough for him. He's like that. You know that.

**WINGEDHEART** : Yes, he is, isn't he? Of course I'll help you, Meg. It'll be hard to keep it a secret if you're always coming out to Deling, or me to Balamb, so we'll have to do a lot of it over the Internet. Do you have a room you can go to do that?

**MEGAFENIX** : I'll use my security phone and go down to the 'basement'. The acoustics is great down there, and the phone will be able to get a secure connection. I'll have a little keyboard, too, so that I can play the pitches.

**WINGEDHEART** : You know how to play piano?

I smiled and nodded while typing **MEGAFENIX** : Yeah. I know how to do a lot of things that I haven't told anyone. Too afraid they'd ask me to play in front of people. Why do you think only Zell knows I can sing?

**WINGEDHEART** : ^_^ You're so funny.

**MEGAFENIX** : ~_~ I know. So, can we start this weekend? That'll give you enough time to send me some possible songs. I'm a second soprano, btw.

**WINGEDHEART** : ^_^ I've got a few in mind. I'll send them over via courier and have you sign for them. No exceptions.

**MEGAFENIX** : Thanks, Rin. I appreciate this.

**WINGEDHEART** : You're welcome, Meg. And trust me, the terror is worth the look on his face.

I wistfully smiled. **MEGAFENIX** : I know.

Zell was worth a **lot** of terror.
Chapter Three

Orders

tap-tap-tap "Sally? You ready to go?"

I hopped toward the door as I slipped into my last tennis shoe. "Coming, Zell." I opened the door--he looked as hot as ever in jeans and a dark blue Balamb t-shirt--and greeted him with a smile and a kiss. "Let me grab my purse." I grabbed it up from my desk and slung it over my shoulder before stepping out into the hall beside him and locking my door.

"You want to see the dorm-room Squall's reserving for us?" Zell asked, his tone sounding very much the little boy with a secret.

I looked at the time. "Okay. We've got a few minutes." I smiled at him as he led me down the hall deeper into the dormitory. "You better not be procrastinating just because you don't want to pick the invitations."

"No. Swear. I just want to show you. It's **huge**! It's almost as big as Ma's apartment."

"Really? Wow. That would be **so** great."

"Dude. Tell me about it! It's even got a little kitchen, with enough room for a table, so we'd be able to have dinner at **home** and not wait in line at the cafeteria!"

I stared at Zell's excited expression, slack jawed. "A. . . a kitchen?"

Zell nodded, eyes twinkling. "And the bedroom is huge! We'd be able to get one of those bigger beds and still have room for some kind of fancy-frilly make-up table for you. And it even has a big bathroom, with two sinks! I swear it must have been Cid and Matron's old room."

I flushed, desperately trying not to imagine the bed, and continued to smile at him.

"Here it is." Zell pulled a key-card out of his pocket and unlocked the door. "Close your eyes," he said as he opened the door and again took up my hand.

I closed my eyes, giggled, and then followed after him into the room that would be our new home. Zell went around behind me and rested both hands on my shoulders to push me further into the room.

Finally, he said, "Okay."

I opened my eyes and gasped. "Oh my goodness!"

Zell came to stand beside me and grinned. "Tell me about it."

Sure. The rooms were empty, the floors were bare, and the apartment was nowhere near as big as what I knew a house would be, but the minute I opened my eyes I could see Zell and me living as a couple in this apartment.

I saw where the couch would go on the wall to the right, a television mounted on the wall across from the coffee table. I could see the bookshelves on the adjacent wall, and the flower pot that would be on the very top, requiring me to always stand on a chair or a step-stool in order to water it. I could see our computer desks on the opposite wall from the couch and beside the bookshelves, facing each other so as to minimize required space and so we could poke fun at each other while we worked.

I could see the dining room table with the flowers in the center and the placemats waiting for our dinner or lunch or breakfast. I could see the counter-top paraphernalia in the kitchen, and all the magnets and reminders that would be on the small fridge. The dishwasher filled with clean dishes that Zell always forgot to unload. The breadmaker I always meant to use...

I could see it all.

I reached out and hugged Zell's arm, tears blurring my vision as I kept seeing different possible scenes from our life there. Married. A permanent couple. "I love it," I choked out.

"Come on," he said as he pulled his arm out of my clasp and grabbed my hand. "You've got to see the bedroom. I'm telling ya, it's bigger than my **whole** **room**."

I giggled, stumbling along behind him as he hurried through the living room and the kitchen/dining room to turn left into the bedroom. I blinked several times, again seeing the placement of the bed, the vanity, the dressers, the bedside tables.

"See? Huge! And the bathroom is there on the right, and there's a walk-in closet on the left." Zell pulled me up against his chest, his arms wrapping around me as he tucked his chin onto my shoulder. "Being married is gonna rock. Big time."

I flushed and giggled as I freed myself from his grip and turned to face him, still holding his hands. "I hope you're not saying that just because you get a bigger apartment."

Zell advanced, his eyebrows wiggling as his boyish grin grew mischievous. "Heheheh. Wanna see?"

I tugged my hands from his grip and held them out. "Zell. No."

He sounded a maniacal chuckle and pulled me close, ignoring my reminders of our trip to town for the invitations. Instead, he lightly kissed my lips between each protest, which grew feebler with each kiss, and rested his hands on my hips as he continued to step forward until my back was against the wall.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, encouraging a deeper kiss that made me feel more woman than shy ex-librarian. Zell drew me closer, his arms completely surrounding me in that embrace and 'circle of arms' I never thought could feel so completely wonderful. When I was with Zell, I felt as sexy as Janine.

Zell kissed me softly along my cheek until he nuzzled his lips against my neck. I shivered and tightened my arms around him. Then Zell exhaled deep and said, "Damn," in a gruff voice I'd heard before. And if I wasn't such a prude, or so drunk with love and his kiss, I would have repeated the word. Instead, I just feebly nodded.

"Tell me again why we can't elope?" he asked, his lips caressing my neck as he spoke.

"...parents..."

And it took a lot of brain power to get that much out. I wanted to elope, badly. My hormones were going nuts, my imagination was haywire, and I wanted to be with Zell more than I cared to admit. I mean, I think the Sally Regal in love with Zell Dincht had crammed the shy 'library girl' into a box.

Please tell me that's normal.

"Right." Zell kissed my neck once, twice, three times before putting his hands on my hips and pushing back. He cleared his throat--face, neck, and ears very red--and sent me a lopsided smile. "Ma'd toast my butt if I eloped. 'Course, we wouldn't have to tell her."

_Okay_ , is what my love-crazed twin wanted to say while dragging Zell by the hand to the nearest official establishment that could give us our marriage license. But the thought of my parents and my friends surprisingly overwhelmed her insistence and made me tug and drag and shove her back into the closet so that I could think of things **other** than Zell with his shirt off--I flushed and looked down.

Zell nodded. "I know. Me, too. Bad."

My cheeks burned even more red as I lifted my gaze to smile up at him. "I shouldn't love you so much, Zell Dincht. It's bad for my health."

He grinned. "Tell me about it. Our workouts got **nothing** on the cardiovascular work **I** just got."

I giggled a "Zell!" and pushed at his chest.

Zell cupped my face in his hands and kissed me before taking up a hand and tugging me from the room. "Come on. This place feels a bit too much like home already. We better retreat."

_Home_. I sighed, staring behind me with a wistful smile at the images and soon to be made memories as I followed after Zell. He locked the door after us and then led me by the hand out of the dorms and to the main corridor.

Zell sent me a sidelong glance. "So, you like it?"

I smile and nodded, squeezing his hand as my step forward nearly became a skip. "It's perfect, sweetie. I saw where everything would go and what we'd do and how much fun we'd have... It's perfect," I said again.

One side of his lips twitched upward. "Cool. So, do you mind if we sell the property in Winhill to Garden?"

I blinked and halted, the smile vanishing from my face and eyes. "Huh?"

Zell's expression grew serious as he watched my face, his hand giving mine several soft squeezes. "I know I said I bought it for us, and I know you want a house built on it and stuff, but I was talking with Squall and Seifer and they said that the council there is making it impossible for us to buy property. Something lame about permits and zoning and crap like that. I told Squall I'd ask you if we could sell ours to them, I've already got the permits to build the house, so they could build the Security Station."

I blinked again and began biting my lip. "But... my house?"

"I know. It sucks. But Squall said he'd try and get a little summer house out of the budget. You know. Build it on the back part of the property by that little forest with the chocobos. He could pass it off as a 'safe house', but he'd only give you and me the key. Well, Seifer, too. Damn it."

I lowered my gaze, still worrying my lip as I absently squeezed Zell's hand. _My house._ But Zell was right; Garden needed the property to build their security station. And wasn't that what SeeD was all about? Sacrifice for others? I knew that if Zell and I were supposed to have a house all to ourselves we could make it happen. It was just a matter of timing and persistence. Right now, I knew we needed to focus on the wedding and then getting settled as a married couple. We couldn't do that if we were worrying about building a house so far away. One that we would barely use anyway.

"Kitten?" Zell asked, tone uncertain.

I looked up to meet his dark blue eyes and smiled. And, you know what, it wasn't at all forced. "Okay. That's a good idea, Zell, and I'm glad we can help. We can get a real house later. Maybe President Laguna will sell us the one you stayed at before?"

The expression of relief on Zell's face brightened my smile. "Yeah. Good idea." He gave me a wink as we turned again for the main corridor of Balamb Garden. "He said that he couldn't sell it until he'd had a chance to talk to Ellone, and I guess she's been sailing around the world on that white SeeD ship helping people with stuff. I think he said something about setting up orphanages or delivering medicines or something. I wasn't paying attention. I was just bummed that he wouldn't sell."

"It's all a matter of timing," I offered. "Maybe he'll be ready to sell when we're ready to buy?"

"But I **am** ready to buy."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his. "No. You only **think** you are. With everything that's going on with the wedding and Deling Garden, you're too busy to worry about that."

"You think?" Zell asked, tone and expression thoughtful. Then he said, "Huh. I guess you're right," and turned to scoop me up and over his shoulder before I knew what happened.

"Zell!" I squealed.

He began jogging down the corridor. "We're moving too slow," he said, matter-of-fact. "I promised Rinoa to not be late," he said, turning down the main corridor toward the parking lot.

"Rinoa?" I asked, momentarily pausing my dutiful pounding of his back to lift my head and look his direction. "She's going to be there?"

"Yep. We're going to pick out the invitations and then bum a ride with her and Squall--he actually got away from the office today--to pick out the bridesmaid dresses and cummerbunds and crap like that. I guess Rinoa said the special order came in or something."

My eyes twinkled. "The dresses came in!" I squealed and gave his back several hearty scratches. "I can hardly wait until you can see them. We can't make up our mind between two, and that's why Rinoa wanted to get together with you and Commander Squall. She said that the one I don't pick, she wants to use for her own wedding."

"The hell ya say! Did Squall finally pop the question?"

"No, but he and Rinoa talk about it more often now. Commander Squall keeps saying there's something going on that he needs to handle first before he can do anything like that."

Zell scoffed. "Yeah. I guess I can see that. The only problem is that something's **always** going on with Garden. If he keeps waiting, they'll be too old to get married."

I rested my chin into my hand, my elbow resting in his back as my other hand absently rubbed at the area between his shoulder blades. "Rinoa said that she's willing to wait. She's only concerned that he's afraid she'll leave when they ever **do** get married. I guess Commander Squall has problems with relationships because of being an orphan and losing all the people he cared about." I sighed, and my lips drooped. "Rinoa says he's getting better."

"Yeah. 'Course, it helps that when they fight about stuff, she comes back and gets him to talk about it. She was always like that. Never let him feel sorry for himself, and never let him forget about all the people that cared about him. It rocked his world the way she wouldn't let him push her away. He'd never had that before."

"Do you think. . . do you think our wedding might make Commander Squall propose?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Good question, but I don't know. It might make him think more about it, but..." Zell shrugged. "He's pretty gung-ho about cleaning things up before proposing. I just hope he's not using it as an excuse. He does that sometimes."

"You think he..." My hand paused its duty of scratching Zell's back. "You think he might really be scared of marrying her?"

"Not really of Rinoa, but of the whole 'staying with you until we die' thing, sure. Who isn't? I mean, dude, that takes a lot of guts to stick with one person for the rest of your life. People change, and trying to stay in love with 'em through all the crap that can happen? That's scary stuff."

Stuff I'd never thought about that way. "Yeah," I admitted absently, "I guess it is."

Zell gave his shoulders a heartier shrug, giving me a jounce. "A little more to the right."

I giggled and shook my head as I moved my scratching/rubbing hand as requested. "You silly boy."

~*~

"Hi, Rinoa," I greeted as we hugged. She looked as lovely as ever in a sleeveless summer frock of pale blue with pink ribbons stitched around the hem and the neckline. Her dark hair had been braided beginning from the crown of her head, and little wisps of hair had escaped to give her a very soft and pretty look. "Thanks for helping me with this. I need all the help I can get if this is going to work."

Rinoa smiled, "Sally, don't be silly. The wedding is going to be spectacular," as Zell and Squall did their infamous 'secret handshake' that Zell confessed they had worked out while fighting their way to Sorceress Ultimecia.

Rinoa linked her arm with mine as we made our way to the train that would take us from Timber and the print-shop to Deling and the wedding boutique. Squall and Zell followed behind talking about Garden related stuff; more than likely the 'go ahead' for the selling/buying of our ex-property in Winhill.

"Selphie and I worked on coordinating the flowers and decorations for the Wedding and the Reception with the two possibilities of dresses last night," Rinoa informed, "so there won't be a lot of change from one to the other. You've only got to pick which one you want and then try on the wedding gown and you're done."

I shook my head, completely floored. "This shouldn't be this easy, Rin," I confessed. "Something's going to go wrong."

Rinoa gave my arm a squeeze. "Don't be such a gloom and doom. It's easy because you're having a lot of people help you rather than trying to do it for yourself. The only thing you need to worry about is whether or not Seifer says 'no' to the final Reception plans."

I gasped, pausing in the entrance of the train as I focused on Rinoa's pretty face with a wide-eyed gaze. "He wouldn't--Would he?"

Rinoa smirked. "It depends on how much of a pain he wants to be. He likes pranks, and what better prank than saying 'no' to your Reception just to see the look on your face?"

I shook my head. "Oh please. Don't say that. I don't want to think about that. Not now. Not when everything's going so smoothly."

Rinoa softly laughed and drew me into the train car and then down the hallway, pausing long enough to unlock the entry with her ticket. "I'm sorry, Sal. I'm sure everything will be fine. After all, you're his favorite."

I blinked at her as I stepped along beside toward the SeeD cabin. "Whose favorite?"

"Seifer's."

"Favorite? Me? Favorite what?" My poor mind couldn't make sense of what or how I could be a favorite of anything of SLC Seifer Almasy. He scared me to death.

"You're so silly," Rinoa laughed. "His favorite **everything**. You're basically **his** personal assistant." Rinoa looked over her right shoulder toward Squall. "I'm telling you he should give her a raise."

Squall smirked but didn't say 'yay' or 'nay' as I wordlessly blinked at Rinoa.

Rinoa focused again on me, her dark eyes twinkling with her smile. "You're the envy of the Security Office, except for Ahndra. Everyone else wishes Seifer was as easy on them as he is on you."

"Easy?" Zell scoffed. "He still ties her up in knots."

"He doesn't do it on purpose," I defended. I flushed and lowered my gaze as we made our way into the SeeD cabin. "I do that myself."

Rinoa guided Sally to sit beside her. "I know you do, Sal, and that's why--"

"Rin," Squall said, giving a slight shake of his head when Rinoa looked over at him.

I noticed her small, acknowledging smile with a blink and a wave of curiosity. She focused on me again. "And that's why I'm sure he does his best to be a little nicer. After all, he's read your file, and he's watched you here at Garden. He knows what you're like, and what he needs to do to make things a little more bearable for you. Plus, you work so hard, too. **That's** why you're his favorite. You pamper him with coffee and good work. No one else does."

Everyone laughed, but I could only blink at Rinoa and her twinkling eyes and pretty face while trying to figure out what was so wrong with being nice to my boss.

"Uh-oh," Zell said, chuckling, "she's gone under. She's trying to figure out what's so funny."

I flushed and sent him a playful glare. "Oh leave me alone, you big bully."

Zell smirked and leaned back, as did Squall seated beside him, crossing his arms as he watched me and Rinoa. "Bully, huh? You didn't say that earlier today."

"Zell," I hissed, my face and neck more red than ever.

Squall smirked and Rinoa laughed. She reached over and gave my hand a squeeze. "Zelly, be nice. The poor girl's embarrassed enough."

Zell grinned. "I know. I **like** that shade of pink."

Even I laughed this time. In fact, all of us laughed most of the way to Deling. Even Commander Squall voiced more than his usual quiet chuckle. I don't remember now what was so funny. I remember talking about some of the trips to Timber and the TV station, and Zell talked about the behind-the-scenes trips we'd taken to the Timber Wolves locker rooms and courtside seats and things like that, but most of all I only remember being comfortable with more than just me and Zell.

I hadn't been able to hang out with Commander Squall and Rinoa together. Actually, I hadn't ever been able to really hang out with Commander Squall. He was always so busy with Garden. But the train ride over to Deling made me have trouble thinking of him as 'Commander Squall' anymore, which made me a little. . . awed. I mean, I know Rinoa and Zell were just as important on the 'Sorceress Slayer' list, and Selphie, too, but Commander Squall had always been so much more. . . I don't know. Unreachable? Or something. But as Zell and he talked about different things that were less Garden and more civilian stuff, it was as if the uniform--which he wasn't wearing--began to fade away and I saw a person.

A person who tried as hard as I did to be perfect to keep from hurting others.

That revelation was quite a blow to my previous perception of the type of person Commander Squall was. In my limited view, I guess he'd seemed super-human because of all the wonderful things he'd done. I mean, he'd saved the world, travelling different dimensions to get it done, and then he'd come back and saved the Garden Network from collapse. He'd inspired everyone to greater things because he hadn't given up. But listening to him and Zell joking and laughing... it reminded me that he was barely an adult. He was only, what?, two years older than me and he had at **least** three times more responsibility!

That made him more human to me.

Then the train did an emergency stop with red lights flashing and sirens blaring and the humans became SeeD all over again.

Emergency Lock-Down commencing. No unauthorized access allowed. Please remain in your seats. Repeat: Emergency Lock-Down commencing. No unauthorized access allowed. Please remain in your seats.

Squall and Zell stood up in unison, serious expressions replacing humor. Squall pointed at Rinoa. "Stay here. I'm going to lock the door and seal it. Don't open it **at all**. Understood?"

Rinoa wordlessly nodded.

Squall focused on me. "Stay with her. If it's forced open, you know what to do."

I gave a single nod, distancing the fear and focusing on keeping my calm the same as I kept my focus **away** from Zell.

Squall turned for the door with a brusque, "Come on," to Zell, who sent me a glance while following.

The door closed and both Rinoa and I heard the high-level security seal lock into place.

Rinoa gripped the cushion of the seat on each side of her before looking toward me. "What's going on?" she whispered.

It was then I remembered she hadn't been in a situation like this since returning from the battle with the sorceress. Rinoa had gone back to her civilian life, not even really needed for the Timber Owls because of the pull-out of Galbadian forces. After two years of peace and only having to worry about therapy with her boyfriend, I'm sure battle techniques were easily forgotten.

"I don't know, but I'm sure it's nothing," I assured her, keeping my tone and my smile as calm and natural as possible.

I hadn't read or heard anything about radical activity in the area of Deling, but that didn't mean it wasn't a possibility. Anything was, and my life with SeeD working under SLC Seifer Almasy taught me that better than anything--

Rinoa and I both gave a startled jump at the loud report of Squall's gunblade from outside the train, both focusing on the sealed door while wondering what in Hyne's name could be going on beyond it. An altercation involving my Commander and my fiancé was the last thing I'd wanted on the day we were scheduled to pick up my wedding dress and order my bridesmaid dresses and invitations. Today was supposed to be sunny and calm. Why couldn't that be what happened?

"Squall. . ." Rinoa whispered.

And I was internally whispering my own sweetie's name. But I knew he could handle himself. He and I trained hard to keep in shape. And Garden had adopted a regular policy of Physical Endurance/Aptitude Tests, unjunctioned the main focus, to make sure the SeeDs were in top form. Zell and I always passed with high marks.

Another collection of blasts sounded. Rinoa's hands tightened on the cushions, more than likely to keep herself from standing and flying to his side. I knew she was still considered a 'Sorceress', but no one knew just how much power she still had. Or how much **she** controlled **it**. _I bet she wants to find out._

I know that if she'd made a move to leave, I wouldn't have stopped her. I would've followed right after, more than likely leading the way to the battle--There was a sudden vibration in the pocket of my jacket and I remembered the handheld SLC Seifer made me take with me at all times. I pulled it out of my pocket and opened the protective cover to reveal Ahndra's stern expression.

"Yes, ma'am?" I prompted while giving a salute.

"Report of radicals in your area just received. Report."

"Emergency lock-down of Deling-bound train. Commander Squall and Head Instructor Zell have intercepted and are in the process of subduing."

Ahndra swore. "Team dispatched and en-route. Expected arrival time: five minutes. Force number?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "Unable to determine," I admitted, voice a little choked. "Commander Squall sealed the exit with express orders to remain."

Ahndra looked to Rinoa seated beside me, pressing her lips together as she realized the reason for the order. She swore again and spoke to someone on her right.

A few moments later, SLC Seifer shoved Ahndra out of the way. "Regal, you get your ass out there and supply back-up. Rin, keep your ass in that seat. If I hear you've moved, your ass is mine. You hear me?"

Rinoa wordlessly nodded.

"Regal," Seifer spoke again, "keep the handheld on so that we can track your position. Now move!"

I scrambled to my feet and toward the door, using the handheld to override the seal only long enough for me to get through. It slid closed and the seal locked in place again. Sirens and lights still flashed as I dashed for the doors on my right and had to do the same, overriding the seal on that door and the outer door only long enough to let me through. Then I was out and onto the grassy plains outside of Deling City and running all-out toward the sounds of battle at the head of the train, my hands tucking the handheld away and digging my battle gloves out of my other pocket.

The only thought that ran through my mind was the 'Now move!' order Seifer shouted before disconnecting. Then I was quickly running up on the team of two SeeDs taking on the close to ten radicals in the black jumpsuits and thanking Hyne for wearing jeans and a t-shirt as well as my favorite--and **very** hard-soled-athletic shoes.

I used my momentum and inertia the best I could, as well as the element of surprise at my sudden appearance behind them, and used 'Hell Strike' on the nearest group of three. Two went down, the third stumbling aside and allowing me through to Zell and Commander Squall on the other side of the group.

"Here as ordered," I said, breathless and defending an attack from a nearby radical while hoping against hope my boss hadn't just gotten me fired and court-martialled.

"One guess," Zell said, performing his infamous 'Booya' on another radical before again standing beside me. "Seifer."

"Yes."

'Quick Silver' was next the same time I heard the ring of metal as Commander Squall made a downward slash, this one unblocked, and then the immediate report of the gunblade. Soon after that, though, the sounds of battle melded into one giant blob as I focused only on what I was there to do: offer back-up.

This battle was different than my Field Exam because not only did I get hit, but I had to watch Zell and my Commander get hit, too. That made me angry. Angrier than I had ever been in my life. I mean, these people were threatening the man I loved! **And** they were threatening every innocent life on the train! That made me see red.

**Black** and red--

\--"Whoa there, kitten!"

Zell's voice and firm grip on my arms brought me back from the murky black and red with a snap. I looked around, eyes wide at the fallen bodies and the other SeeDs standing around me and Zell. They looked surprised.

I looked up at Zell with a small smile. "We won?"

Zell lifted an eyebrow. "Yeah, kitten. We won, and now I think you and me and Commander Squall need to have a little chat."

"Chat?" I asked as he released one hand on my arm and kept the other, leading me away from the group. "About what?" My smile vanished. "Am I in trouble? I was only following orders. I swear I was going to stay--"

"You're not in trouble," Commander Squall soothed, coming to stand on my other side and also holding onto an arm as they led me away from the aftermath. "We just have a question for you."

I blinked at Commander Squall and then Zell. "Question?" I asked slowly. "About what?" I hadn't done anything more than what Zell and Commander Squall had ever already seen.

"Where did you get that GF summon?"
Chapter Four:

Forces

I planted my feet, eyes wide as I focused on Commander Squall's serious expression. " **What** GF summon? You said summoning is a last resort, so I don't even have one with me." Commander Squall's expression didn't change. I focused on Zell. He looked just as serious. "Do I?" I asked, voice a bit on the teary side as I saw all my dreams of a long-term SeeD career go out the window.

Commander Squall and Zell both regarded me before one turned to the other. "She said the same thing, didn't she?" Zell asked. "Isn't that what he reported? She didn't know about it until after it happened?"

Commander Squall nodded. "Almost word for word. The sighting description is almost exact, too."

Zell crossed his arms. "So what're we gonna do? Both times not one of our people got hurt. So I doubt they're on the other side. But what if they're on their **own** side? But with what went down here--and also when Gilgamesh came that time?" Zell shook his head. "We can't think we've got a chance against her."

My face screwed up in confusion. "Can someone please tell me what's going on? What GF? I don't remember junctioning a GF. I don't remember even **summoning** a GF." And my voice sounded even more tearful.

Both Zell and Commander Squall rested a hand on each of my shoulders as they continued talking. "Let's not think that we **need** to stand against her. Like you said, so far she hasn't battled against any of our SeeDs. I'll head back to Garden with this team and talk to Cid and Dr. Kadowaki to see if they know of any other GFs like this one. Or maybe how to summon it so we can talk. I'd rather know what its agenda is before making any assumptions either way. Especially not now with everything getting ready to go underway."

Zell nodded. "Okay. See if you can get anything else out of Marshal. Maybe something he didn't remember to put in his report. Sure as hell could happen at least once. Maybe that survivor knows something? Wasn't there at least one in the brig? Ahndra'll have a helluva good time interrogating him again, I bet," he added with a smirk.

Commander Squall's lip twitched. "All right. I'll see you back at Garden."

Then he gave my shoulder a squeeze and turned to board one of the hovercraft/helicopter/armor things--I could never remember what they were called--and was transported back toward Balamb courtesy of the Deling Air Corps. Zell watched him go and then turned back to me. He smiled and gave my chin a brief pinch.

"Come on, kitten," he soothed. "Don't look like that. You're not in trouble. You did what you were supposed to."

"But no one will tell me what's going on," I protested. I pointed at the bodies that groaned as they were gathered into the armored transports. "What happened? What GF? What other report of an uncontrolled summon? What are you talking about and why won't you tell me?"

Zell wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me back toward the train. "Sorry, kitten. That's on a need-to-know basis."

" **What**?" I blinked up at him as my feet naturally followed his lead. "You tell me that I summoned a GF that I didn't even know I had and then tell me it's on a 'need-to-know basis'?" My mouth worked as shock and disbelief battled against confusion and. . . irritation. I hated not knowing what was going on.

"I know," Zell soothed. "It sucks, and I hate doing it to you, but Squall said he'd tell everyone once he knows what's going on. Until then, it's off-limits."

Irritation spluttered and died, muffled and drowned by confusion and resignation. "Oh," I mumbled, moving my gaze to the ground at my feet.

Zell chuckled and gave me a squeeze and a gentle jostle. "How about I make Squall let you sit in on the next meeting about it? After all, you're involved now. . . sorta."

I reluctantly smiled up at him and nodded. "Okay."

He gave me another jostle. "Now let's go get those dresse--"

An almost angry sounding beeping from the inside of my lightweight jacket drew our attention. "OH!" I scrambled for the handheld within my pocket with trembling hands, nearly dropping it in the process. SLC Seifer's annoyed expression greeted me when I accepted the connection. "I'm sorry, sir. I forgot." _Any minute now I'm going to start bawling my head off._

My happiest day had to have turned into the day from hell.

"Report," Seifer demanded.

I swallowed hard, fighting back the tears of being overwhelmed and in a tough situation followed directly by not being told what had happened. "Radical faction subdued and taken into custody," I said quietly, swallowing again. "Commander Squall en-route to Balamb to make report and begin additional research into specific occurrence. No casualties. Continuing on to Deling City."

"'Occurrence'?" he repeated sharply. "What 'occurrence'?"

I shook my head. "I don't know, sir." I quickly wiped away a tear of frustration. "They won't tell me," I allowed myself to complain.

Seifer lifted an eyebrow and then moved his focus to Zell standing beside me. "Dincht? What the hell is going on?"

"Sorry, Seif. You'll have to wait for the big boss to get there and let you know. Reference Marshal and Ahndra's report in the meantime. The secondary one."

My eyes focused on Zell's somewhat amused expression. _Secondary report?_ _What_ _secondary report?_

Seifer's eyebrow twitched. "You're shitting me. Again?"

"You got it."

"Damn it." Seifer leaned back in his chair, a hand scrubbing at his scalp a moment before he immediately leaned forward. "I need you back here on the double to make a report, separately."

Zell frowned. "Sei--Oh what the hell. Fine." He turned off the phone and urged me forward toward the train again. "Should've known he'd find a way of screwing everything to hell."

But my misery had hit bottom a while ago. What was another day to wait for the dresses?

~*~

"Hey, Sal gal."

I looked up as Janine sat across from me at the table in the Security Office reserved for interviews and interrogations. I was waiting for my turn to be debriefed. "Hi, Janine," I greeted, tone morose at best. My fingers returned to the duty of picking at the corner of the metal table.

"So what's got ole HOS in a hellfire mood?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Her usual off-the-clock uniform of black jeans and a black or white tank-tee had been replaced by her SeeD uniform; I noticed the skirt didn't keep her from kicking her feet up onto the table and tipping the chair back onto its back legs. "You lose a report or take a day off you weren't supposed to?"

I shook my head, giving a deep sigh before crossing my arms on the table and resting my forehead on them. "No." It wasn't fair. I was supposed to be in Deling City with Zell picking out pretty dresses and daydreaming about the wedding I'd waited my entire life for.

"You finally tell him to go to hell?"

I shook my head again. "No," I mumbled. It wasn't SLC Seifer's fault radicals attacked the train. I knew that. It was just one of those things that happened when a person chose the SeeD path. _But it still isn't fair._

"Damn, Sally," Janine protested, her feet making a clicking sound as she pulled them down from the table. She gave my head a knock, but I didn't lift it. "What the hell's the matter with you? I hear you got to fight with Squall and Zell, **the** best rush on the planet, and you're acting as if you're getting court-martialed."

I sighed and lifted my head enough to meet her dark gaze. "It's not fair, Janine," I complained. "Today was supposed to be wonderful. I was supposed to pick up my wedding dress and pick out my bridesmaid dresses while having fun with my sweetie. But instead? Instead I have to fight radicals and watch Sweetie **and** Commander Squall get hurt. I had to disobey a direct order and leave my friend alone, even though I **knew** she was scared. And now I have to sit here and wait for. . ." I bit my lip and lowered my gaze to the table top. "Wait for them to ask me all these questions that I don't know the answer for because a GF came that I didn't know I could summon. That I didn't even know **existed**."

"A GF, huh?" Janine leaned forward, arms resting on the table as she watched me. "And you don't remember summoning it?" I shook my head. "What exactly **do** you remember?"

I sighed again. "Well, I remember being able to get behind the radical group and doing 'Hell Strike' to take out almost three right off. Then I told Zell that Seifer had ordered me to come, basically, and just kept fighting them off until the reinforcements could come." I shrugged. "Then it was over and Zell said we won and they were asking me about the summon." I looked up to meet her thoughtful expression. "That's all. I don't remember seeing any GF or doing a summon."

"You remember anything out of the ordinary?"

"Like what? I was only thinking about what I needed to do: offer back-up as ordered." I frowned and rested my chin on my arm. "Those stupid radicals. Putting all those people in danger when they didn't even **do** anything to them! If they would just talk to Commander Squall or President Laguna they wouldn't need to do all this stupid fighting, hurting innocent people." I growled. "Makes me **so** mad!"

"Were you thinking about that while you were fighting?" Janine asked, tone amused.

I shrugged again. "I guess. Everything was going so fast."

Janine reached out and gave my head another knock, gentler this time. I looked up. "Don't sweat it, kid. Why don't you go ahead and grab that hunk of love of yours and take off. I'll take the heat for it."

I sat up, eyes wide. "You sure? I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Hell. I've been in trouble plenty. I can handle it." She jerked her head toward the door. "Go on. Git."

I smiled and stood, grabbing my purse and voicing a rushed, "Thanks, Janie. I owe you one," before she could change her mind or I could get caught.

Janine watched her go, the smile growing to a smirk as she shook her head. Seifer appeared in the doorway a few moments later. Janine motioned to the seat across from her. "Have a seat."

Seifer turned the chair, his lips tilted in a similar smirk as he straddled the chair and draped his arms across the back of it. "So?"

Again, Janine kicked her legs up onto the table. "Just as you figured. Intense emotional situation where all she could think about were the people in danger. Her consciousness fades out; the GF comes in." Janine motioned again toward the door with her head. "She didn't complain of a headache like 'Miss Thang' did. Sally just doesn't remember the summon or the GF showing up. That's it. Now I don't know if that has to do with compatibility or more intensity of emotion or what. Like I said, one minute she's thinking about 'love muffin' and the people on the train, then 'bam' Asura's kicking everyone else's ass but Sally's team and the reinforcements she knows are coming."

Seifer pursed his lips to one side, seriousness replacing smirk as he stared out the door in the direction Sally had taken. Janine watched him, her own smirk returning as she adjusted her crossed arms. _Damn you're hot._

He briefly frowned before focusing again on Janine, his lips twitching upward. "Good job. Remind me to give you a raise."

Janine chuckled and slowly stood. "I'll file my request for that this evening. If you've got time," she added.

"I'll see what I can do."

Janine turned and left the office, very conscious of his appreciative gaze as her movement gave him something to appreciate.

~*~

"I still can't believe Janine took the fall for you. Seifer's going to shit bricks," Zell said for what must have been the third time in ten minutes.

I giggled and gave his arm a shove as we waited in the 'lobby' area of the boutique for Rinoa to model the first of the two bridesmaid dresses. "I told you. I think Seifer **likes** Janine."

Zell scoffed. "But what girl is going to like him?"

I shoved him again. "Oh stop it."

He grinned and drew my back tight against him as he began his usual duty of nuzzling my neck. I squealed and struggled while enjoying every minute of it. Sure it was late. Sure the boutique was going to close in 10 minutes, but I didn't care. I was picking up my wedding dress!

~*~

"Okay."

Selphie crashed down beside my giggling self onto the couch in Zell's room. Zell and Janine were 'fighting' over music choices.

"Here's my initial thought for the flowers and their set-up. I've sketched them out. . . here. What do you think? Is the ribbon too much? I can do a garland of fern instead."

I took the sketch, wonder and amazement making my eyes grow larger. Using the front area of the Training Center, there would be about 50 chairs set up in two columns, one on each side of the aisle. The aisle would be bordered by the mentioned ribbon or garland with a bouquet of flowers on every three to five rows of chairs.

My eyes glimmered. "Wow. Selphie, this is awesome!"

"Hey. Let me see," Zell said, dropping down at my other side. "Rock on. Who knew the T.C. could look like **that**?!"

Selphie smiled brightly over at him while I giggled. Janine watched us with her usual smirk and crossed arms as she leaned back in Zell's desk chair.

"Alrighty. Now that's approved. . . ." She handed me another sketch. "Here's what I think we should do for the Quad for the Reception. The Cafeteria will mainly be a home-base, I guess, for the catering. Then the cafeteria ladies and some others will ferry the food out to these tables here."

Selphie reached across to point at the tables sketched in near the entry of the Quad. "The Cafe will be closed and their normal tables cleared to make room for these with the food. Dancing and the band will be over here where it usually is for the balls," she continued, pointing down toward the main portion of the Quad. "Seifer said that the majority of Garden will be locked off to roaming, with the exception of the Quad, the Cafeteria, and the Training Center. Security will be disguised as guests, so there shouldn't be any raised eyebrows."

Zell pointed. "Check it out! There's plenty of room for the band, the dancing, **and** the band's equipment without having to do anything funky."

Selphie laughed. "But I'm still going to see about getting a new stage built for the band."

"Sweet!" Zell agreed.

I giggled and gave each a nudge with my shoulders, one after the other. "You guys are so cool. You're making this whole married thing easier than I thought possible."

Zell grinned. Selphie smiled. Janine chuckled and shook her head. "Yeah, well, I still got the shaft. I've got to try and look damn sexy in a floor-length gown that doesn't show a bit of skin. What're you trying to do to me, girl?"

Selphie, Zell, and I laughed. "If you want to do something, Janine, then you can coordinate all the other Receptions. Zell wants to have one at each Garden, but I'm not up to making it work."

Janine made a face as she focused on Zell. "You crazy, man? The last thing you'll want to be doing after saying 'I do' is shaking hands for 6 hours!"

Selphie howled with laughter as Zell's face reddened and he pushed himself to his feet from the couch. "Shut up, Janine."

I sent him a sympathetic look, but I couldn't have said it better myself. Hadn't I already leaned toward the 'elopement' idea more than once?

Janine shrugged. "Okay. You want a Reception at each Garden, I'll coordinate them. But I'm telling you it's a bad idea. If you don't spend as much time at one as you did at the other, they'll get all bent out of shape and piss in your punch or something."

I grimaced. "Ew. Janine, that's gross."

She smirked and stood. "Yeah, well, so is the picture I have in my head of the two of you trying to have your honeymoon between Receptions."

Selphie howled again, and this time so did Zell. I flushed crimson and tried to keep from thinking about it.

Janine turned at the door and gave a single wave. "I'm off, kids. See you tomorrow." She closed the door behind her.

I cleared my throat and looked again to the sketches. "These are great, Selphie." I handed them back and she accepted them. "Just let me know if I can do anything to help. I hate to think you're doing all the work."

"Don't be ridiculous. I love it!" She put the sketches into her folder and then stood. "I better go. I have to talk to the florist about the order and cancel the ribbon order. I think ferns will look better. Bye." And she exited with a wave and her usual bright smile.

Zell sat down beside me and draped his arm around my shoulder. "Cool. Now we've just got to pick up the invite at the print shop tomorrow, start printing out the labels for them, and get the rings from the jeweler, huh?"

I nodded and snuggled against him, drawing my legs up beneath me as I closed my eyes and released a deep breath. "How are the plans coming for the honeymoon?"

"You don't sweat about the honeymoon. That's all me. You just have to be there."

I giggled. "No problem."

He kissed the top of my head and drew me a little closer as we both snuggled into the couch. "We should probably look into getting furniture for the apartment while we're in town tomorrow."

"Okay."

Our first apartment. We were going to be buying furniture for our first apartment. Together. I smiled and released a happy sigh. Zell chuckled but didn't say anything. What could he have said? I had a wedding dress hanging in my closet. He had a white tuxedo hanging in his. There were three bridesmaid dresses hanging in closets around the world (Rinoa, Janine, and Selphie). There were flowers on order. Garlands being made. Bands being auditioned... I was getting married to Zell Dincht and I was shy Sally Regal.

'Where did you get that GF summon?'

My smile warped and faded as I opened my eyes and stared at Zell's sneakers, still laying haphazard where he kicked them off near his desk on the left side of the room. _What_ _GF summon? Where would I have gotten a GF? I only have Shiva and Ifrit, and I didn't bring them that day._ And for two weeks that question asked by Commander Squall gave me nothing but stress and worry. If it hadn't been for the distraction of the wedding plans and my voice lessons with Rinoa practicing the song, I would have gone mad days ago.

It just didn't make sense, and I couldn't find the 'secondary report' Zell told SLC Seifer to reference. I'd tried to find it. Tried **everything** , short of hacking the Security Grid I was supposed to protect. There was nothing there, and there was no way I was going to ask him when I didn't have the 'need to know'. If I did, Zell would have told me.

I sighed and sat up, not looking at Zell as I stood and slipped into my leather sandals. "It's getting late. I better go."

"Sure, kitten."

And I could feel him watching my face as he walked me to the door. "I'll meet you in the parking lot tomorrow after breakfast," I told him.

"You sure you don't want me to walk you over?" he asked, trying to feel out what the problem was.

I finally looked up and gave him a small smile. "That's all right. I'll grab coffee in the Cafeteria and bring it with me." I kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, sweetie."

He kissed me back. "Night, kitten."

And then I stepped out into the hall and slowly made my way to my own little dorm room, all the while trying to think back to that day two weeks ago when I had supposedly summoned a GF. My head began to throb, and I rubbed at my forehead with a trembling hand. There was no use. I couldn't remember. There was nothing **to** remember.

My shoulders slumped forward and I sighed. _Maybe I'm trying too hard? Maybe I just need to walk through it, matter-of-fact, and see what comes up? Maybe if I write it down, I'll remember something else? Then I can turn that into SLC Seifer. Wouldn't that help?_ I shrugged and slightly shook my head as I dug my key card out of my pocket and stepped up to my door. _How would it help? There's nothing to remember._

And that made me feel helpless.

I leaned back against the closed door, staring into my little dorm room with unseeing eyes for a long time before pushing away and moving to sit on my bed. Then I kicked off my shoes and laid back to stare at the pictures accumulated over the past several months. Me and Zell. Me and Selphie and Zell. Zell and Janine and me. I yawned. Rinoa and me and Cmdr. Squall and Zell. Zack and Zell and me. Zack and Zell. Dad and Zell. My eyelids drooped. Mom and Dad and Zell...

'...You know why I came...'

I bolted upright, eyes wide as they stared at the wall in front of me. A shiver cascaded down my spine and I scrambled out of bed, something making me hurry for the door to jerk it open.

The hallway was empty.

I slowly closed it, staring down at my hand gripping the doorknob before forcing it to relax and release and stepping back from the door. I know I had heard--

I twitched and took a quick step back from the door when it was flung open to reveal a beautiful woman with a multitude of arms holding weapons... and then she was ugly... and old... and then beautiful... I stepped back as she came forward, moving into my room with assurance and determination as her hold adjusted on the different weapons in her hands.

I only stopped moving backward when my back came in contact with the wall. I gasped and pressed myself against it, cringing away when I could feel the woman's hot and yet cold breath against my face. I tightly shut my eyes.

_'You_ _know_ _why I came, heart child. The evil hearts of these men has begun to infect the innocent. They thirst for power and lust for my throne._ _My_ _throne! Until this avarice is curbed and the blood-lust is halted, I will come and bestow judgment. And their judgment is death without mercy. So decrees Asura, Queen of Summon. Queen of Gods. So it will be done.'_

I screamed and sat upright, cringing to the left when a sudden movement of shadow beside me--"Zell!" I threw myself into his arms and held him tight.

"It's okay, Sally," he soothed. His arms tightened around me. "It's okay. It was just a bad dream."

And I would have given anything to believe him.
Chapter Five:

Misplaced Blame

Zell knocked on SLC Seifer's door while giving my hand a collection of tender pressures. I bit my lip and fisted my free hand, the dream still too bright in my mind to believe it was anything but real. _Queen of Gods._ I swallowed hard as I heard the door click, clunk, and then open to reveal Seifer, groggy and grumpy, dressed in a black robe while towering in the doorframe.

He scrubbed at his scalp of close-cropped hair. "Dincht, it's two in the mo--" When he focused on me, standing a bit behind Zell, he stepped back and motioned inside.

Zell gave me an encouraging smile and then guided me inside. Seifer moved to close the door to his bedroom. Then he motioned for us to sit at the small table in the small dining area off the small kitchen. He turned a chair and straddled it as I slowly sat beside Zell, my eyes never leaving their focus of the floor at my feet.

"So, what happened that couldn't wait until morning?" he prompted.

"Remember two weeks ago and that GF summon?" Zell began.

I cringed.

Seifer glanced to me a moment before focusing back on Zell. "Go on."

"Well, I had a feeling Sally wasn't okay sleeping by herself, so I followed her and snuck in once she fell asleep. Good thing, too, because the GF paid Sally another visit."

Seifer momentarily clenched his jaw. "Report."

"I guess the radicals we've met so far are trying to get a lot of power and killing a lot of people to get it done. Asura doesn't like it, so she's decided to kill them."

Seifer focused on me. I twitched but didn't look up. I couldn't. If I looked up he would have seen how much I blamed myself. I mean, it was my job to patrol the Inter/Intranet for news of radicals and security breaches. It was my job to report dangers to civilians and SeeDs alike. It was my job--my throat tightened--and I hadn't done it.

"I don't know if what she told Sally was meant as a warning for us to 'stay out of the way' while the problem's dealt with," Zell continued, "but it scared the hell out of her."

"Damn straight it did."

I twitched and lifted wide eyes to watch Janine Larabie come out of Seifer's bedroom, tightening the belt of one of his robes around her.

Seifer frowned and pointed at the now open bedroom door. "Larabie, didn't I tell you--Oh hell."

He gestured her forward, even though she was already moving to his side. In fact, she shocked me and made Zell smirk and shake his head when she moved to stand beside Seifer, leaning against him with one hip as she rested a hand on his back.

"You okay, Sal gal? I bet she scared you shitless."

I flushed and lowered my gaze, confusion at the unexpected pairing pushed aside by the terror and the guilt. "I'm okay," I whispered.

"What did she say exactly, Regal?" Seifer pressed, not nearly as harshly as I would have expected, either.

"I..." An unexpected tear escaped and I quickly wiped it away, receiving Zell's assuring squeeze with a returned one. "I don't remember exactly, sir," I whispered.

Seifer tapped his fingers along the back of the chair before saying, "Just give me what you got."

I tightened my hold on Zell's hand. "She... She said that I knew why she came that time. That..." and my mind couldn't help but remember what she'd said and how she'd said it. It was as if the message were burned into my brain. " _The evil hearts of these men has begun to infect the innocent. They thirst for power and lust for my throne._ _My_ _throne! Until this avarice is curbed and the blood-lust is halted, I will come and bestow judgment. And their judgment is death without mercy. So decrees Asura, Queen of Summon. Queen of Gods. So it will be done.'_ "

I covered my face with both hands and began to cry again.

"Damn it, Seifer," Zell complained, gently rubbing my back.

"It isn't Seifer's fault, lover-boy," Janine said firmly, "and you know it." She looked down at Seifer. "Babe, I'm going to take her to my place. I've a rollaway cot she can use. It'll be better than sleeping by herself." Janine stepped toward me and took my hands from my face. "Come on, kid. Let's get you to bed." She pointed at Zell. "Stay. Good boy."

Zell smirked and watched us go. Then he focused on Seifer. "So now what?"

Seifer released a quick breath and scrubbed at his scalp. "Beats the hell out of me."

"What do you think she meant by that 'My throne' crack? I doubt she meant Sally because Fujin got the goods first. You think she means her real throne? And what the hell would that get the radicals? Maybe it's some artifact that gives power?"

Seifer frowned and swore a blue streak. "I **didn't** need this right now, damn it!"

Zell kicked back in the chair and tightly crossed his arms, expression serious. "Tell me about it. I mean, I'm getting married in two months!"

Seifer pushed to his feet. "Come on. We better report this to the Commander."

Zell stood and gestured to Seifer's robe and bare feet. "You going like that?" he asked, smirking. "I'd hate your secret life to get out."

Seifer scoffed and said "Go to hell," but he turned and slammed into his bedroom just the same.

Zell sniggered.

~*~

Janine didn't seem to care one bit that she walked half-naked through the halls of the dormitory toward her room, the slight breeze revealing more than a little leg, as Janine would call it. She looked over at me, lips twitching upward. "Sorry about the shock to your virgin eyes and imagination back there, Sal gal."

I flushed and looked away. "I already wondered if he liked you," I admitted. Yet another thing I'd missed. I sniffed. _Maybe I shouldn't be on the Special Security Team?_

"Believe me, the feeling's mutual. He's one helluva man." She suddenly wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "And don't sweat this GF shit, Sal. If she'd wanted to mess with you, I'm of the mind she'd have done it already."

"But what if she can control me like the Sorceress did with Rinoa?" I shook my head, eyes wide as they focused on her face. "I'm getting married in two months, Janie! I don't want to have that looming in the future!"

"From what we all know of GFs, Sal, they don't control us. We just channel them, so to speak. It's a... host-like relationship, hence the loss of memory." She gave my shoulders a jostle. "It's been months since her last appearance--"

"With who? When? How? What happened?" And the questions must have sounded as desperate as I felt.

Janine regarded me a moment before saying, "If I tell you, it's my ass."

"I won't tell anyone you told me," I promised, vigorously shaking my head while disbelief that I pressed her to break security had my insides trembling.

Janine halted and turned to face me, staring down at me as she crossed her arms and pushed her full lips to one side. "Oh hell. Why not? It was Miss Thang."

I blinked. "Ahndra?"

Janine nodded. "Yeah. When the radicals had her and Marshal under their thumb. They were about to gang rape her, with Marshal chained and forced to watch, and everything went black. Next thing she knew, Marshal was kneeling over her and everyone was dead or dying."

I paled. "D-Dead?"

Janine nodded again. "Bingo. Then, on the way back to Balamb, she faded in and out of consciousness, complained of one helluva headache, and didn't remember the summon. Just like you. The only differences we've noticed, prior to this 'dream', are that Asura didn't kill the men this time and you didn't have a headache. But now it seems she can talk to you in your dreams. Hell if I know how."

I turned away, staring blankly down at the floor as the information sunk in. Finally, I faced Janine again. "What am I supposed to do?"

She rested a hand on each one of my shoulders. "Sal, Asura is as much an ass as Gilgamesh; come any time they damn well please. I figure that as long as we stay out of her way and do our best to stay on the same side, things'll be fine." Janine pulled me into a hug. "Get married, kid. **That's** all you have to do. Everything else will take care of itself."

~*~

knock-knock-knock

I looked over at the clock. 4:00. I hadn't slept a single minute of it. Each moment had been spent thinking back to all the reports and online surveillance to try and figure out where I'd gone wrong. _What did I miss?_ had been the most prevalent. The knock sounded again, so I sat up and kicked my legs over the side of the cot, pushing myself to my feet and adjusting the waistband of my sweatpants as I ambled for the door of Janine's room. She grumbled and mumbled, rolling over in her bed as I opened the door to reveal Ahndra 'Fujin' Kelley in her SeeD uniform, hands tightly clasped behind her back.

I blinked. "Yes, ma'am?" I asked quietly.

She motioned inside, expression guarded. "A moment?"

I stepped back. "Oh. Of course."

Ahndra stepped inside, moving to stand in the center of the small room with her hands again clenched behind her back. I closed the door and found myself leaning slightly against it before forcing my hand to release the doorknob and turn. I forced a smile and motioned to the desk chair. She shook her head, so I sat instead. I didn't know how to ask what she wanted, too afraid that something would slip letting her know Janine had told me what happened. Too afraid, also, that I would start crying and quit the security team. So, I lowered my gaze and only remained quiet.

"I summoned her."

I looked up, unprepared for a confession/admittance of a 'need-to-know' security detail that Seifer didn't think I needed to know. "...what?" I whispered.

Ahndra held my gaze with a determination different from what I'd seen on her face before. "On the mission to Winhill," she embellished slightly. But then she pressed her lips together and frowned.

I shook my head. "You don't need to tell me, ma'am."

"Seifer gave permission."

I blinked. I hadn't expected her to get permission to tell me **anything**.

Ahndra pressed her lips together tighter and then adjusted her stance, crossing her arms across her chest. "Marshal Beita and I were previously involved; before I enrolled in Garden. Before his sister's murder. That involvement was severed when a beating required enrollment into the hospital. The mission to Winhill revived those memories and that previous attachment. When I was... When Marshal was detained and beaten, Asura appeared. Everyone but Marshal, myself, and one other died."

"Why... Why are you telling me this, ma'am?"

"Because her coming saved lives, so you should not blame yourself," she told me, voice calm and regulated even as her expression was intense. "I summoned her also to save lives, perhaps not consciously, but my hate and my rage--She killed, but because rage and revenge was in **my** heart, feeding her own desire. **You** summoned her to protect. She did so."

_She's trying to make me feel better?_ I could feel the tears come, so I quickly lowered my gaze.

Then Ahndra stepped forward and rested a hand on my shoulder. I blinked back more tears and didn't look up. "There's no blame. Asura wants justice for the innocents. Garden wants the same. As long as this is true, there is no blame and there is no fear."

I wordlessly nodded. Ahndra tightly gripped my shoulder and then moved past to exit the room, closing the door softly behind her. I stared at the closed door for a long time, letting the tears silently run down my face. It hadn't mattered to her that I made a mistake. It hadn't mattered to her that... that I had missed something. I lowered my gaze to my hands as they fisted my grey sweats. For the first time, ever, I felt truly accepted.

~*~

nudge

I groaned and stretched as I rubbed my eyes with the backs of my hands.

"Up and at 'em, Sal gal. You need to eat some breakfast before lover-boy gets here."

I opened my eyes to see Janine standing over me, smirking as she fastened up the front of her SeeD jacket.

"Where you off to, anyway?" she asked.

"The print shop in Timber first," I told her as I sat up. "They have our invitations ready for us to pick up."

"Then?"

"The jewelers in Deling City to pick out the rings and get them engraved."

Janine chuckled. "I swear. You two have more jewelry than... than Hyne!"

I smiled. "Nuh-uh."

She smirked and turned to retrieve her assists from her desk top. "Denial is a horrible thing."

I shook my head, still smiling as the prospect of spending another day with Zell made me forget everything else. Well, almost. It definitely made me feel better, though.

Janine affixed the assists to the area behind her ears and then faced me. "Well, I hate to be a bad hostess, but I'm kicking you out. I've got a class to get to."

My smile faded as I stood. "Oh. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, kid. No harm." She nudged me toward the door, which I opened--

\--to reveal Seifer holding two coffee mugs. His usual 'Death is answering 'no'', and another one that said 'I put the 'sex' in 'sexy''. I blinked, absently moving into the hall as Janine continued to nudge. She accepted the coffee from Seifer's hold.

She took a long breath of the aroma. "Hm. Thanks, Babe." Janine focused on me. "Mum's the word, Sal gal. We've reputations to keep up."

I shook my head, eyes wide as I looked from Janine to Seifer and back. "I won't tell **any** one."

Janine smirked. "Good girl." Then she focused on Seifer. "See, big guy? I told you we could count on sweetness and lover-boy."

Seifer said nothing. He only drank his coffee while watching me. I swallowed hard and looked away, focusing, instead, on Janine's pretty face and freshly spiked black hair.

Her brown eyes twinkled. "I won't be able to do any coordinating of the other receptions until next week some time. But I'll send my friends emails giving them the heads up. Is that okay?"

I nodded.

"Perfect."

Then Janine took a deep swig of her coffee, turned toward Seifer to hand the mug to him, and then gave him a long and deep kiss that made me flush crimson and look away. _Janine and Seifer?_ But the thought was actually not that bad. They were so much alike it was scary, and yet different enough that they didn't drive each other crazy. They enjoyed each other, it seemed to me. Like Rinoa and Cmdr. Squall. Like me and Zell.

_Janine and Seifer._ I smiled.

Then the kiss ended and Janine sounded a low growl/purr. "See you later, big guy. Oh. And thanks for the raise."

Seifer chuckled and then watched Janine walk away. I couldn't help but watch him as he did. I hadn't ever seen him smirk like that before, and it made me wonder how long they'd been together. _As long as she's been here?_ Which meant it had to have been at least three or four months--I covered my mouth to stifle the slight gasp. That was about how long I had noticed Seifer acting. . . different. Nicer.

Seifer gave a small shake of his head and then focused on me. I couldn't help it. I stood at attention. He smirked. "At ease, Regal. You're off the clock."

"Oh. Uh." I cleared my throat and hesitantly stood at ease. "Yes, sir."

He offered me Janine's coffee mug. I blinked down at it and hesitantly accepted. What else could I do? Say 'no'? With his mug staring at me? _Yeah, right._

"You sleep all right?" he asked before taking another drink.

I blinked--I think my eyelids are going to wear out--and very slowly focused on him and his serious expression as he watched me with those green eyes that scared me so much. "Sir?"

He smirked. "It's a fairly simple question, Regal."

I lowered my eyes and tried to keep from kicking myself. "Yes, sir."

"Well, at least one of us did. Damn it."

I twitched and did my best to try and **not** think what he meant. "I'm sorry, sir," I whispered instead.

Seifer continued to watch me as he nursed more coffee, and more than anything I would have loved to have the courage to say 'I don't think I'm the best person for the job, sir.' But I couldn't. I loved my job, and Ahndra's visit last night made me hope that I fit there. Even if I **did** make mistakes every once in a while. And I was extremely sorry for that mistake. After all, it had nearly gotten our Commander hurt. It had nearly got **Zell** hurt.

My fingers tightened on the mug. "Si--"

"It wasn't your fault, Regal."

I actually looked up and met his gaze. "But I missed them," I pressed, voice choked. "I do surveillance of radical activity and I **missed** them!"

"You caught what was important. That's what you do."

"But--"

"Regal," he interrupted, tone firm and face hardening in a frown as he lowered his mug. "There's not a chance in hell that you could catch every rat's ass and what they're plotting against Garden, civilians, or a resistance faction like the Timber Owls. You do the best damn job that you can. If you don't stress something as being suspicious, big friggin' deal. **It's** **not** **your** **job** to know everything. It's your job to **report** what you **do** find and hope to hell that **Ahndra** or **I** catch something when we're reviewing your reports."

I cringed and lowered my gaze, blinking back the tears as my hands fisted the coffee mug. I swallowed hard and gave a nod, not willing to trust my voice.

Seifer released a quick breath and muttered "Damn it." as he scrubbed at his scalp. "Regal, don't beat yourself up about these radical assholes. The reason they're a pain in the ass is because they **are** so good at staying under the radar. Just remember that you put us on to them in the first place, even doing your own investigation so that we **could** send someone in under cover. Ahndra and Marshal wouldn't have found shit unless they'd had your report." He rested his hand on my shoulder and gave a tight squeeze that caused a cringe--which I fought back. "You're damn good at your job, Regal, and I'll beat your ass if you try to quit."

For some reason, that actually struck me as funny. And the slight giggle that escaped surprised me so much that I looked up to meet his gaze the same time I covered my mouth.

Seifer smirked and lowered his hand. Then he continued to regard me with an intense scrutiny that had me visualizing hundreds of horrible possibilities--Then he looked down and pulled a small velveteen. . . box. . .? I stared at it with wide eyes. He opened it, one-handed, to reveal one of the most gorgeous rings I had ever seen. I swallowed hard and very timidly looked up again. Seifer stared down at the little box with a small frown.

"You think she would?" was all he asked.

The idea that SLC Seifer asked **me** a personal question floored me and made me pinch myself. I squeaked with pain, which made Seifer meet my astonished gaze.

"W-Why **wouldn't** she?" was all I could think to ask in response.

Seifer's smirk returned. "Regal, you might be one helluva hacker, but you're too damned naive. Don't you know I'm a dickhead?"

"Does that mean you shouldn't be happy?" I again covered my mouth with a hand, then I flushed and lowered my gaze. "Sir."

Seifer scoffed and closed the box with a snap to stuff it back into the pocket of his black slacks. "Happy. What the hell is that but a disaster waiting to happen?"

"Then why are you still with her?" I whispered, and I glanced toward him to find him staring down the hall. "And why do you have that ring in your pocket?" I cleared my throat and added "Sir." as I shuffled my feet. _Sally Regal! What are you doing?!_

Seifer focused on me, his hand still holding the ring box within his pocket. "Did you know she's from Trabia?"

I nodded.

"Did you know I ordered the missile fire on Trabia Garden?"

I nodded again, remembering the day the news had been announced. Remembering the attack on our own Garden and then the one after. Remembering the time in the hospital.

"Did you know those missiles killed her friend?"

I tried not to hear the carefully controlled regret in his voice. Instead, I remembered the rage in Janine's when she confronted Selphie on the train to Timber for our dresses to my birthday party. Remembered how angry Janine had been that we hadn't told her. But I also remembered what Selphie had said... _"During that whole thing he was being controlled and manipulated and forced to do things that_ _Seifer_ _wouldn't do._ _That's_ _why we don't talk about it. Because we know that he beats himself about it every day. Every time he looks in a SeeDs face he_ _knows_ _he might have killed them. He_ _knows_ _that one day he might find out that they lost a sister or a brother or a close friend to something that_ _he_ _ordered to happen. Do you know what that's like? To live with that every day? To_ _remember_ _giving the order that annihilated an entire Garden. To_ _hear_ _yourself giving the order to kill fellow SeeDs and not be able to do anything to stop it?"_

...and I would never forget it. I released a long breath and lifted my gaze to meet his dark green ones. "Sir, if that mattered, would she be with you?" Seifer again looked away. "She cares about you, sir. A **lot**. That's all you need to remember."

Seifer released a long breath in a showing of surprising. . . weakness? Then he focused on me with that same guarded expression while giving me a smirk. "Go plan your wedding, Regal. Leave us dickheads to our fate."

I nearly said something more--though I don't know what it would've been--but then I just saluted and moved away, hearing his mumbled "Damn it," with an internal cringe. It seemed he and Cmdr. Squall had more in common than they wanted to admit.
Chapter Six:

Firsts of Fancy

I had no idea how to tell Zell about my early morning adventure with Ahndra and Janine and Seifer when we met in the parking lot, me very embarrassed when I still had Janine's mug in my hand. But how **could** I tell him? I mean, I barely understood or believed that it had happened myself. I was just extremely overwhelmed that **both** Seifer and Ahndra had done their best to make me feel better. It made me see stars and feel very, very good about my job **and** myself. Sure, they both still scared me because I wasn't ever sure if they were joking or serious when they asked me to do things, but still. Anything different than the norm was better.

"Hey, Meg. You've been awfully quiet this whole time," Zell commented while giving my hand a squeeze. "What's going on in that head of yours? Solving the world's problems, or just your own?"

"Hm?" I asked absently, pulling my mind away from a countless reliving of the scene between me and Janine and me and Seifer to focus on Zell's amused blue eyes. I flushed. "Oh. Sorry. What?"

Zell smirked. "You're frowning and then smiling and then looking very confused and wrinkling your nose so much that I want to do this." He reached over to softly pinch the bridge of my nose.

I giggled and leaned back, the clicka clicka clicka of the train finally settling in as more than a passing noise. "I've had a very. . . different few days."

"And months. Remember, you're planning our wedding."

"How could I forget?" I confessed, "I'm back to my old habit of pinching."

Zell laughed. "Uh-oh. Bruises are coming." He drew me close with an arm around my shoulders. "You let **me** do the pinching. I'm better at grading pressure."

I sniggered and snuggled into his side. "Okay." I released a deep breath as I adjusted my head against him. "Hey, Zell?"

"Hm?"

"Will you help me not blame myself for not being perfect?"

Zell looked down at me, but I didn't meet his gaze. I only continued to stare at the white Balamb emblem on the right leg of his dark-blue sweats.

After a while he gave my shoulders a squeeze and said "Of course, kitten. You shouldn't have to be perfect when no one else is."

"But you'll let me still **try** , right?"

And Zell didn't laugh. He knew I was serious. I didn't like messing up and making mistakes because I knew a lot of people counted on me and my job for their protection and safety. Not only that, Seifer depended on me to do the best that I could. For the same reason. Sure it was a lot of stress and responsibility, but at the same time that was the reason I **liked** the job. I liked knowing that I was depended upon. It made me feel important and. . . needed.

"Sure, Sally," he said, "I'll just make sure you don't give yourself such a hard time if you screw up a bit now and then. Hyne knows **I** screw up enough."

My face relaxed into a soft smile as I patted his stomach. "You're not that bad."

"Neither are you. You've got a hard job and you're awesome at it. Everyone knows it. Just remember what Rinoa said about you being Seifer's favorite. I think she's hit the nail on the head."

And thinking back to the conversation that morning... "Okay."

"Just cut **yourself** some slack if you think you mess up." This time he chuckled. "You probably didn't. And if you did? No one would know the difference."

I giggled. "Probably not. I remember thinking I'd flunked my entry exam into the security office, and instead I passed with, like, 120% because I solved answers that were supposedly impossible to answer." Zell chuckled and I giggled again. "I know. And then Seifer made me write another one."

"Hey. You didn't tell me that. How did that go?"

"Seifer says the new SeeDs hate it."

Zell laughed. "I don't doubt it. You'll make them look bad. Say. You should ask Seifer to have the mucky-mucks take it. You know. Ahndra, Marshal, and Toby and them. That'd be a riot to know how much they suck at their job."

I sniggered. "Zell..." I scolded.

"What? It's a legitimate thing to ask. People get sloppy when they've had their job for a long time. It'd be a great refresher course."

And talk about a boost to my self-esteem to have something like that even suggested. "I'll write a little suggestion and put it in his Inbox. Okay?"

"Okay." He chuckled. "Marshal'll kick my butt if Seifer goes through with it. Heheheheh."

My face softened with a silly smile as I again patted his stomach and snuggled a little closer. Fantasies, when they came true, were dangerously potent bits of happiness.

~*~

Zell exclaimed "Oh man!" the same time I said "Oh no!" The printshop had made an error on the invitations.

"...the hell?!" Zell waved the invitation in the face of the clerk, who flinched and leaned back, his hands lifted to his face. "How in the hell can you screw up off a perfect print? Huh?! Your printing department have their heads up their ass or something!? Damn!"

"Zell," I soothed, my hands on his arm to try and pull it back from the clerk. "It's an honest mistake, and I'm sure they'll reprint them with no cost to us, since it was **their** mistake."

"O-Of course," the clerk said hurriedly. He pulled the box of invitations off the counter and backed off. "I'll put a rush on these and then have them delivered to you at no extra cost."

"Damn straight!" And Zell punctuated the remark by slamming the invitation down onto the counter.

The clerk jumped, nearly out of his skin, and turned to hurry into the back to set the plans into motion.

" **Damn**!"

"Zell, it's all right."

"'All right'? Sally, they screwed up, and now we have to wait another two or three weeks for new invitations! What if they don't get to the people in time?"

I smiled and patted his cheek. "We've got email, silly. We can let everyone on the list know that the invitations are late but that they're invited. For those few people who don't have email, I'll write them a letter explaining what happened and letting them know to expect the invitation in the mail later than we thought. Like I said, it'll be all right."

Zell actually groused, frowning as he crossed his arms and glowered after the clerk. I giggled and shook my head before standing on tiptoes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. His lips twitched upward, I already knew he was faking just to get a reaction from me, but he continued to frown.

I gave his arm a gentle tug. "Come on, grumpy bear. Let's go to the train station and catch the next one to Deling City. I promised Rinoa that we'd stop in and say 'hi'."

Zell perked up at that, intention of the pouting/grousing forgotten as another thought grabbed his attention. "Say, can we stop in at Deling Garden? I promised a friend that I'd stop by and pick up a transfer request and deliver it personally. He doesn't think the other ones have been making it through the chain-of-command."

I voiced a soft gasp as we made our way out of the print shop and headed for the train shop. Then I smiled. "Could we see Zone? I feel sorry for him, being there when I know he didn't deserve it."

"Didn't deserve it? Sally, he tapped Garde--"

"I don't believe he did it. I think he was framed," I said matter-of-fact.

Zell blinked and halted, leaning slightly back as he voiced his usual "Wha?"

"Did you see his face when she walked away that day in Timber? He was heart-broken, not ashamed. And when you confronted him about it? He didn't really say that he'd done it. He admitted they were found on his computer, but that doesn't mean he put them there." I looked away, tilting my chin upward as I crossed my arms. "I think he was framed."

Zell regarded me another moment before laughing and gathering me into a hug. "Meg, one of these days..."

I squealed and pushed and shoved. "Lemme go."

"If we get world peace on this crazy planet, it's going to be because **you** solved all the problems without breaking a sweat." He kissed my neck and then wrestled me forward toward the train. "Come on, shy girl. Let's go to Deling and get those rings."

I manipulated myself free and charged forward. "Last one to the train's a bad kisser!"

"Ack!"

And Zell and I laughed and squealed and manically chuckled all the way into the SeeD car.

It was a tie.

We plopped down into the couch of the SeeD car at the same time, laughing and giggling and shoving each other as we each tried to tickle the other--or some such fool thing love-birds do that looks ridiculous to everyone else. Then we just settled into 'snuggles' and listened to the click-clicka-clicka of the train as it took us to Deling City.

If my arms hadn't been around Zell's middle, I would have pinched myself.

When we got off the train at the Deling Station, Zell took hold of my hand and gave me a tug toward the exit. "Come on. Let's go to Deling Garden first. If we stop in and say 'hi' to Rinoa, we won't get out of there until midnight."

I laughed and let him pull me along. "I don't mind. I've only seen pictures of Deling Garden. I haven't ever been there."

"It's nothing like Balamb Garden. Not even close. It's more, I don't know, cold or something."

"Oh. That's too bad." I watched Zell's profile. "So, who's this 'friend'? Have I met him before?"

"I don't think so. His name's Jaxon. Jaxon Crest. He's a Lieutenant there at Deling. In security."

"Security again." I smiled. "Is that where you'd really like to work, Zell? You seem to know more security people than anyone else."

He grinned. "Just luck, I guess."

I wrinkled my nose at him. "'Luck', my eye."

We made our way beyond the city limits and then headed for the large structure positioned between the Tomb of the Forgotton King--or was it Unknown King?--and Deling City. Deling Garden, true to Zell's word, **was** completely different from all the others. The walkway into the building was concrete, a pool with a fountain on either side made it look nice enough, but then the building itself. . . Deling Garden was definitely out of place in the middle of the green field. A metallic upside-down trapezoid was the best way to describe it, with the levitator rings encircling the center of the building, between the third and fourth floors. Zack would probably have called it an 'architectural monstrosity'. The stainless steel exterior gleamed so bright in the mid-day sunlight that I thought I was going to go blind. I couldn't examine the building for any longer than a few seconds before my eyes started watering and I began to get a headache.

I hated to say it, but the Garden was ugliness given form.

"See? Nothing much to look at, huh? I certainly wouldn't want to be stationed here. No wonder Jax wants out."

I grimaced at the huge thing, all the time very thankful that I lived at the lovely Balamb Garden.

When we stepped past the initial entry, pinning our assigned 'Visitor' badges on the waistbands of our sweats, I could see that the inside was going to be just as non-artistic as the outside. Strictly business, which was heightened by the long line of new registrants picking up their information and whatnot. I couldn't believe how many new transfers there were. There had to be at least a dozen.

"Fresh meat," Zell mumbled.

I sent him a glance before looking again to the line of men and women waiting their turn. Most ignored me, but a few sent me glares and then a very rude gesture. I flushed and looked away, missing Zell's return and the offender's reddening face and rage-filled eyes.

The atrium was reminiscent of Balamb, but not as bright nor as welcoming. My other hand came over to grip Zell's as my eyes took in the new sights and colors of the Garden. For some reason, I didn't like this place at **all**.

Zell reached around and gave my hand a squeeze. "It's okay, kitten," he said quietly.

"What the hell are **you** doing here?"

Zell and I both turned, my eyes wide as they focused on a tall man dressed in a SeeD uniform. He was good-looking, with vivid blue eyes that had me wondering if they were natural. According to the bars on his SeeD jacket, he was a Lieutenant First Class.

Zell released my hand and stepped forward and in front of me. "What the hell's that to you?"

The Lieutenant came up to Zell toe-to-toe, towering over him much like Seifer did upon occasion. And, like with Seifer, Zell didn't back off or look away, even though it looked as if this guy could handle himself in a fight. In fact, I was about ready to step in when they smiled and laughed and wrapped each other in a tight hug with firm claps on the back and greetings of "Damn it's good to see your ugly mug!"

I didn't know whether to be confused, annoyed, or overjoyed that they weren't going to beat the stuffing out of each other.

"Jax, this is Sally. Sally, this is Lt. Jaxon Crest."

The man named 'Jaxon' focused those intense and lovely blue eyes on me with a genuine smile as he presented a hand. "So **this** is the famous Sally Regal?" He gently gripped my hand and firmly shook it. "Nice to meet you."

I flushed and pulled my hand away before he finished. "'Famous'? Why 'famous'?"

Jaxon blinked, the smile replaced by a look of disbelief. "You're kidding, right?" Jaxon looked to Zell and gestured toward me. "Tell me she's kidding."

Zell smirked and shook his head. "Nope. She's clueless."

"About what?" I asked, curiosity becoming less easy to control.

Jaxon moved his gaze back to me and sent me a very cute boyish smile. "Easy prey. Wow, Zell. You shouldn't have."

"Hey now, Jax. She's **my** easy prey," Zell warned as he came to stand beside me. "You get your own."

Jaxon chuckled--it was a very genuine and. . . relaxing sound--and then motioned deeper into the Garden. "Come on. Let me give you the basic, allowed tour on the way to my office. Then I can give you those transfer papers and you can get out of this hellhole, hopefully taking me with you."

Zell laughed. "What, Jax? You don't love your job?"

Jaxon scoffed. "Please. I'm a man of many talents. Here? I use one."

I watched Jaxon's profile as he and Zell joshed back and forth, a smile slowly softening my expression. There was something about Jaxon Crest that had me trusting him. He was a lot different than Zell, although I couldn't tell you how, but he still welcomed that same feeling of safety. A little bit like my brother, but less rugged.

Selphie would've gone wild for him. Of course, anyone could have. He was very handsome with his dark chocolate brown hair, vivid blue eyes, and ready smile that seemed to hint at. . . mischief.

"How long have you known Sweetie?"

Jaxon focused on me and raised an eyebrow moments before breaking out into a fit of laughter and giving Zell a shove. "'Sweetie'?" He howled louder, even having to stop our progress forward to bend at the waist and suck air.

Zell frowned and crossed his arms. "The hell's wrong with you?"

Jaxon pointed at Zell and tried to speak, but he could only shake his head and laugh louder and harder, tears actually pouring down his cheeks. I hadn't expected a reaction like that to a simple word like 'sweetie'.

Zell rolled his eyes and gave Jaxon a hard shove, pushing him onto his backside in the middle of the corridor of the Garden. "Shut your hole, Jax. Geez."

I looked at Zell. "Hasn't he ever been called anything like that before?" I asked, completely serious.

Zell crossed his arms again. "And him acting like that? Hell no."

I moved my focus to Jaxon and gave a sad shake to my head. "Poor guy."

Zell laughed at that, which made Jaxon stop laughing and straighten. "Hey. I don't need your sympathy. I've had lots of women."

"Tch! Yeah right. That's why Janine calls you the 'One Date Wonder'?"

Jaxon smirked. "Like I said, 'I've had lots of women.'"

Zell scoffed and shook his head. "Come on, come on. Give us the tour already so we can get out of this place. It's giving me the willies."

Jaxon motioned us forward. "My office is this way. I'll get you the papers and then we'll head to the cafeteria for lunch."

Zell and I fell into step beside him. "Good idea. I'm getting hungry."

"You're always hungry," Jaxon and I said at the same time.

We exchanged surprised blinks and then laughed.

~*~

Zell positioned his tray of lunch beside mine and sat down at the table in the Deling Garden cafeteria. Then he nudged his chair closer and sat, pressing his knee against my leg as Jaxon sat across from us. Our table was in the back corner of the cafeteria, safely away from the candidates and students that continuously looked over at us with glares and occasional rude gestures. I kept my gaze away from everyone, which was hard to do when I was so curious to see everything.

"I've been on everyone's shit list since you and Marshal came," Jaxon told Zell and me. Then he motioned behind him to the several men and ladies that sent us glares. "They didn't like me be **fore** , but since you and your fellow SeeD buddy came over and pushed them around?" Jaxon scoffed. "They hate being held responsible for their life choices, you know."

"Tough shit." Zell looked beyond Jaxon to the few that continued to glare and held their expression gaze for gaze. "If they're going to choose to be screw ups instead of pulling their head out of their ass, they get put on a shit list of their own. No skin off my ass one way or the other."

I cleared my throat and lowered my gaze to my plate of food that suddenly didn't look very appetizing.

Zell sent me a glance and then gave my leg a nudge with his. "Sorry, kitten."

The softness of his tone drew my eyes, and I smiled and nudged him back. "It's all right. I'll just have to work a little harder at the 'censor' part."

Zell smirked and Jaxon sounded a slight chuckle. Zell picked up his sandwich. "You're in a better mood than usual, Jax. You get to beat the crap out of someone?"

Jaxon's smirk became more wry and. . . tortured, which made me change how I watched him. The way he stared down at his food reminded me a lot how Zack had looked after his first marriage ended. It had been a messy divorce, with Zack losing custody of his little girl, too. And all because she thought Zack was having an affair, which he hadn't been. He just loved his job at the TV station.

"Nah," Jaxon finally admitted. "Just doing what I can to get by."

"I've heard that before. Usually means doing something stupid."

I kicked Zell under the table. He nearly choked on his bite of sandwich as he sent me a 'What?' look.

Jaxon waved a hand at me. "Don't worry about it, Sally. Zell and I have an understanding. A 'no shit' understanding."

"Yeah," Zell said with his mouth full. "He doesn't take my shit and I don't take his. It works better that way."

I reluctantly smiled. "I guess you and Zell have known each other a while?" I probed carefully.

"Not really. I've known Janine and Selphie longer, being from Trabia you understand. Zell and I just hit it off." Jaxon leaned back in his chair while pushing his tray of lunch away. He crossed his arms. "Bored at the same time with the same twisted sense of humor. Drove the Instructor mad."

"Instructor?" I asked, sending Zell's snickering form an arched eyebrow. "What Instructor? When?" I smiled. "What happened? Tell me, tell me."

Zell motioned to Jaxon with his sandwich. "You tell it better," he said, mouth full yet again.

Jaxon smirked and then focused his unusual blue eyes on me. "Have you heard of those series of weapon forging seminars that have become so popular lately?"

I nodded. "I wanted to go to the last one, but they're for SeeDs only and I hadn't graduated yet."

Zell nodded in agreement and swallowed his bite of sandwich. "Yeah. We won't even be able to go to the one coming up because we'll be on our honeymoon."

Jaxon's smirk widened a bit. "I'm sure you'll be otherwise engaged to miss it."

I flushed and motioned toward him. "So you went to one of those together?"

"Not necessarily together," he said, eyes showing amusement and making my blush grow darker. Zell continued to chuckle beside me. "We met there, had seats together, and had the same idea at the same instant to cause a general commotion throughout the seminar. All five days."

My jaw dropped. "What did you do?" I asked, voice hushed. I couldn't imagine the possibility. It was so... **not** me.

Jaxon looked to Zell. "What was it? A sledgehammer?"

Zell choked on his bite of sandwich, nodding as I reached over to pat his back and help him breathe.

"What was a sledgehammer?" I queried, completely lost.

"The star of the videos we had to watch throughout most of the seminar. I swear these videos were aimed at junior classmen. Anyway," Jaxon actually grinned, his blue eyes twinkling, "Zell and I started doing voiceovers that were usually completely opposite to what the lesson plan was. Had the entire lecture hall in an uproar. What was that one that had them falling out of their chairs? The sledgehammer wanting to have the anvil's baby?"

Zell howled while nodding, my hand pausing mid-pound on his back as I stared at Jaxon Crest in dumbfounded silence.

"And that other one." Jaxon snapped his fingers several times as he looked up at the ceiling in concentration. "What was it. It's on the tip of my tongue... Oh! The anvil having the affair with the water bucket and the sledgehammer finding out about it and... and... what did he do? Get his sword from the forge fire? And it broke?"

I blinked, giving a twitch and looking beside me when Zell actually fell out of his chair, still howling with laughter.

Jaxon smirked as he focused on me. "I think the video was talking about improper forging or something." He regarded me a moment. "I guess you had to be there," he said.

I'm sure it was as hilarious as Zell made it look. And I felt bad for not laughing. So, I smiled. "I'm sure it was very funny."

Jaxon shrugged and adjusted his crossed arms. "Eh. More to some than others." He briefly pointed to me. "Funny was that story you did of the Fire Cavern exam."

"Fi--Huh? What story?"

Zell struggled back up into his chair. "Oh come on, Meg. You know. The story you told me in the cafeteria after you beat Squall's score."

I flushed as I faced him. "Zell, you didn't!"

He grinned. "I didn't what?"

"You--" But with him grinning at me in his usual adorable fashion and the memory of how much he'd liked the story... I giggled and gave him a soft shove. "You big goof." Then I focused on Jaxon. "I'm glad you liked it."

Jaxon looked at his watch. "Well, I better get back to work." He stood and motioned to us. "Feel free to look around. Zell, you know where it's best **not** to go, so show her the place and then get the hell out of here. Wouldn't want you to get addicted to the place and take my job."

Zell scoffed. "Keep your job."

Jaxon smirked. "No. That's the whole point of the transfer papers." He presented me his hand and gave mine a firm but gentle grip. "Nice to meet you, Sally. Hope to get to work with you one of these days. I'm sure it will be fun."

I smiled up at him. "Nice to meet **you** , Jaxon, and I'll do my best to get SLC Seifer to take a serious look at your application."

"Really?" Jaxon said, eyebrow lifting in surprise. "Wow. I appreciate it. I've heard you're his favorite."

I flushed. "I'm **not** his favorite."

His lopsided and boyish smile returned. "Right. He just lets **everyone** actually have a weekend off every week. And three weeks' vacation for a honeymoon," he continued as he moved away from our table. "And their choice of assignments. **And** special equipment for their desk."

I giggled and shook my head as I watched Jaxon exit the cafeteria. Then I focused on Zell, who watched me while munching on the rest of his sandwich. "What a nice guy. He reminds me of Marshal and Zack."

"Yeah. He's a cool guy; had shit for a history, though. SeeD gets a lot of those."

I moved my focus back to the cafeteria doors that still swung a little from Jaxon's exit. "What happened?" I looked back to Zell. "Is it okay to ask?"

Zell shrugged. "I guess, but he doesn't talk about it, so I'm not really sure. I don't ask, either. He'd tell me if it was something I needed to know." He set aside the corner crust of his sandwich and dusted the crumbs off his hands. "I figure it has something to do with the missile attack. Everything seems to figure into that damn day. Actually has me feeling sorry for Seifer. He gets a lot of shit from people because of it."

Zell stood and lifted me to my feet. "Come on. I want you to see the elevated track. It's in the training center and is about the only cool thing in this place. Then we can go and say 'hi' to Rinoa on the way back from the jeweler's."

"Okay." I fell into step beside Zell as we headed for the exit, his fingers and mine interlaced, and tried to ignore all the glares and grumblings of the candidates and 'disciplinary delinquents', as Seifer called them. "They don't seem to like us very much," I whispered.

Zell frowned and looked back behind us at the multitudes of eyes that watched us go. "Screw 'em all. Like I said, they put **themselves** on this shit list."

We pushed out from the cafeteria into the corridor beyond. "Do we have time to look for Zone? I don't think **he** put himself on that list."

Zell's face relaxed into a smile as he looked down at me. "Okay, okay. We'll look for Zone as I'm giving you the tour. But if we don't find him, I'm not looking anywhere special for him. His loss. You can send him an email or something."

"Okay."

And as we headed toward wherever Zell took me, I was struck again by the extreme differences between Balamb Garden and Deling... and made myself a mental note to send Zone pictures of home.

~*~

The moment Zell and I left the elevated track and the training center, I had a bad feeling something wasn't right. I didn't want to listen to the instinct screaming in my ear, because it meant that the completely awesome day Zell and I had shared that far was going to very quickly go away. I didn't want that to happen, so I ignored my instinct and just giggled and laughed as Zell told me something funny about his last trip to Deling Garden, not really hearing what he was saying while spending all my concentration just listening to his awesome voice.

But then my instinct wouldn't be shushed any longer. Of course, when I saw and felt the tension in Zell's body, my own caution and awareness shot through the roof. Zell's eyes darted from my face to a group of about six men leaning against the corridor wall or standing somewhere near. They were half-way down the corridor talking amongst themselves in low voices.

"Heads up," Zell said in a voice only I could hear.

And the last thing I wanted to do on my day off was what I was afraid was about to happen. My lips drooped, and Zell's fingers tightened slightly on my hand. I found myself hoping against hope as we drew closer that they would see our Visitor's badges and just let us pass. But Zell was a very recognizable guy; that and he never did back down from a fight. So, when the eyes of the guys looked our direction, Zell of course didn't look away.

That in itself was a dare for them to do something.

One of the guys--a taller one with red hair and dark eyes--stepped away from the cluster sporting a dangerous smirk. A Seifer-like smirk before he had become Head of Garden Network Security. A smirk that made me know without a shadow of a doubt that this guy was a bully. Plain and simple.

He moved to stand in our way. Zell didn't let me stop until our toes were touching his.

Zell looked up at him and didn't say a word. He only scowled.

"We've got a ballsy one here, guys." He snorted. "Or else he's just stupid."

My hand tightened on Zell's as my brows lowered. _I really hate it when they call him stupid!_

Zell didn't even blink. He only continued to hold the guy's gaze. Not a word. Not a twitch. Not even a slight intake of breath.

One of the other guys chuckled. "I guess he's stupid."

I stepped toward the guy with a sharp retort of "He's **not** **stupid** ", which was cut short with a somewhat sharp jerk of Zell's hold on my hand. I halted and clenched my jaw, my eyes flashing as I held the other guy's gaze until he shook his head and chuckled while looking away.

"So what are you trying to prove with this?" Zell asked. "Because you sure as hell ain't scaring anyone."

The man's smirk twitched. "You're right. He's stupid."

"Stupid?" Zell scoffed. "Like hell. I went to school with Seifer Almasy, **the** Disciplinarian himself. You think I'm going to be scared by a collection of shitheads like you? Hell no." Zell shoved the guy back with one hand. "If you're going to try and copy Seifer, try pulling yourself out of this hole you're digging."

The man brought his hands from where they had clenched behind his back and slowly straightened his black trenchcoat as he regarded Zell with darkening eyes. "Boys, I think Mr. High-and-Mighty needs a lesson in respect."

"From you?" Zell actually snorted. "Sally could take you on herself."

My eyes swept the cluster, gauging and processing possible skills and threats--Then I focused on the leader again.

"All six of us?" the man pressed with a menacing grin. "Maybe. But sure as hell not in the way you think."

Zell scoffed and shoved the guy aside yet again as he moved past, pulling me along behind him--

The guy reached out for my arm, but I reacted with my training and grabbed his wrist instead, twisting it until I heard a snap. The other men straightened and took a step forward, stopping only when Zell lifted his arm and pointed at them.

I held the leader's shocked gaze. "Don't touch me." And, believe it or not, if I'd heard me say that to me, I would have been very scared. Then I released him, giving him a hefty shove backward in the same motion. He tripped on his own feet and stumbled into the arms of his buddies.

"Give her a reason," Zell said when another guy made a menacing step forward. He halted. "Just **give** her a reason to send you to the Infirmary."

The man didn't move. He only gritted his teeth and glared at me as I calmly stared at the leader while aware of every single guy in the cluster.

Zell focused on the leader again. "You want to be an angry bastard your entire life that beats on the little guy for kicks? Keep it up. Deling will eat you up and spit you out. You want to make something of yourself? Like Seifer and Fujin? Then you pull your head out of your ass." He gave my hand a tug. "Come on, Sally. Let's blow this place."

I continued to stare at the cluster of men as Zell dragged me along behind him, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. Their lives could have been so different.

"Don't look back, Sally," Zell instructed in a voice I hadn't heard him use since our first days of training. I turned my head to focus on him. "You can't fix their lives for them. They've got to do it themselves. SeeD has always been about that. You make your choices and then live by it."

I wordlessly nodded as I moved my focus to the floor. How many times had I already seen the changes that simple philosophy could have?
Chapter Seven:

Thrill Seekers

"Hello?"

I made a complete tour of the Training Center, but Zell was nowhere to be found. I lowered myself onto my rock in the front portion of the T.C. and released a deep breath. It was the third time that week he hadn't been here for our workout sessions.

The first time, a first year candidate had needed his help for a Fire Cavern qualification. The second time, he'd been waylaid by a group of students who had questions about their schedules, their Instructor assignments, and various other things only he--as Head of Instruction now that Quistis was gone--could do anything about. Now? Who knew. It was more than likely important. More than likely Garden-related. More than likely last minute and unavoidable.

I released another breath, deeper this time. We didn't get to see each other much. Not since Quistis had left to work with Zack at the TV station. Zell was busy picking up her workload as Head of Instruction--Janine taking over her classes--while training senior candidates to help with **his** caseload. And me? I was left somewhere outside, busy with the Security Office and reports and surveillance. . . .

I hadn't minded the separation so much before because we had been planning the birthday and then the wedding. But now? With the radical attack those few weeks before on top of the GF summon? It would have been nice to have him around a little bit more than on weekends and occasionally in the morning. I was feeling a little. . . down.

"Hey, Sal gal."

I looked up and offered Janine a somewhat forced smile. "Good morning, Janine."

"Where's lover-boy?" She came to stand across from me and rested a fist on her hip as the other rested on the pommel of her gunblade.

My gaze lowered and I shrugged.

"Busy, eh?" She spat and adjusted her stance. "Damn. No wonder you look like hell. Haven't seen him much, huh?"

I morosely shook my head, my eyes focusing on two rings decorating my left hand.

Janine gave my foot a kick, drawing my gaze. "Why don't you and I workout? We can beat shit up and imagine it's his crummy job."

"But it's **not** a crummy job, Janine. It's very important."

"Hell," she scoffed. "No job is so important that he can't spend time with his woman. Why the hell you think Quis was a damn bitch? No time for some wild fun."

I flushed and looked away. "Janine..."

"Come on, come on, Sal. Let's go beat the hell out of a T-Rexaur or two. Hyne knows **I** need the workout."

I nodded and sighed as I stood. "Okay," I softly agreed. And working out with Janine was fun, I just wanted to see my sweetie. So I could convince myself it was all really happening. That I **was** engaged to Zell. That I **was** getting married in a little over a month. That he **did** love me.

"Hey, Sally?"

I looked over at Janine to notice an odd expression on her face. "Hm?"

The metal doors of the main section of the T.C. closed behind us before she faced me. For the first time, I saw an intensely serious expression in her eyes. It went beyond thoughtful.

"Why get married?"

I blinked. "What?"

"Why get married?" she repeated. "What's the point? Sure, the six months you've known each other seems awesome enough, but who says it'll last another six? Why not just shack up together and enjoy it while it lasts? Then..." She shrugged. "Move on. At least you'll be friends. At least you'll have had a great few months to remember."

"But..." I shook my head. "But I don't **want** to move on, Janine. I've been in love with Zell for **years**."

Janine's expression actually glowed with patience. "Sally, you haven't lived much outside Garden. What do you know about love?"

My jaw dropped.

"I don't mean to sound like Queen Bitch. Really. Hell. I think it's great you think you're in love with the spaz and everything, but. . . Come on, Sally. How long do you think it's going to last? I've been in a lot of relationships and they never do. Guys are about thrills and danger. The moment something is too reliable or too... demanding they leave, looking for the next rush. Zell's a Sorceress slayer who's seen more of the world than you've ever dreamed of. What's to keep him here with you?"

I stared at Janine with wide eyes for a long time, admitting to myself that I fought the same doubts the entire life of our relationship. Each day had been another challenge for me to trust another portion of myself to a hero. To take that risk so that I could live outside of the fear of being hurt.

I lowered my gaze to my engagement ring--I balled my hand into a fist and met Janine's gaze. "I **love** him, Janine, and I believe him when he says he loves me. No, I haven't seen as much as he has, but I'm willing to share everything I **do** have with him. That's what marriage is about: sharing. Support. A commitment to be with the one person who makes you feel more than what you felt you were before. A decision to travel a hard road **together** , no matter the obstacles.

"Sure, he's a hero and I'm only an ex-librarian, but..." My throat tightened and I blinked back the tears. "But he's taught me to look past that and see the hero that I can be. I might not fight Sorceresses from the future or evil incarnate, but I do my best to keep my Garden family safe. And it's because **he** taught me how to be courageous. It's because **he** taught me how to face my fear and step past it. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to risk a possible heartache to be happy. With him."

Janine regarded me for a long moment before lifting her fisted right hand and slowly opening it--I blinked--to reveal a small velveteen box.

"I didn't think he would. I didn't think..." She met my gaze with one that actually showed confusion. "Why would he?"

"Why **wouldn't** he?"

"Are you kidding, Sally? I mean... the **hell**?!"

I smiled and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Janine, maybe he cares about you as much as you care about him?"

"Maybe? **Maybe**? I can't do 'maybe', Sally. Worrying every day if there's something that's going to blast the thing we've got to hell. Wondering every damn hour if he wants to tell **me** to 'go to hell' because I'm asking too many damned questions or getting into his personal space every friggin' day!?"

"Do you do that now?"

Janine frowned. "Hell no. He's his own man. He can do what he damn-well pleases, and he knows if he screws me over I'll beat him to hell."

I reluctantly laughed. "Then that's what you keep doing, Janine."

Janine scoffed. "Like hell! Being married--"

"Is the same as being someone's best friend." I grinned. "You just get the fringe benefits," I quoted Zell.

"We're getting those now, Sally, so what the hell does he want to prove by giving me **this**!" And she stuck out her hand holding the velveteen box.

And I could hear the terror in her voice. "You haven't ever had this kind of relationship with a guy, have you?"

Janine looked away, one foot tapping as she gripped the hilt of her gunblade and lowered her arm to her side.

"And now someone like Seifer, who can be loyal to the death, wants to marry you. Wants to show, to the world, that you're together. That he'll beat the crap out of anyone who comes between you--"

"Yes!" she snapped as she harshly faced me. "Okay? I'm scared shitless because I don't know why he'd want to marry a thrill-seeking bitch like me who only chased after him because no one else had balls enough to do it! It was the thrill. The rush. That was it!"

"And now you love him," I observed. And she flinched. She **actually** flinched.

Janine looked away and tightly crossed her arms. "Hell yes, I love him. And I told him, and he didn't run away. The night of your party he actually said **he** loved **me**. Best damn night of passion **in** **my** **life** , and he was still there the next morning. Greeting me with that damn sexy smirk and those emerald eyes." Her voice choked off.

"You don't want to love it so much, do you?" I asked softly. "Being with him, I mean. Because what if. . . what if he leaves?"

Janine lowered her chin with a whispered, "Damn it, Sally." She shook her head. "It wasn't so bad when I had the control. When I was leading him on to the next thrill while knowing I could back out any time. But this?" She adjusted her crossed arms to free the hand that held the velveteen box. "I don't know if I can do this thrill, Sally."

I released a soft breath and moved beside her to take the velveteen box from her hand and open it. We stared down at the ring together for a long moment before I took the ring from where it comfortably nestled in the velvet cushion within. Then I looked up at Janine. Her brown eyes continued to focus on the ring.

"This ring is his way of telling you that you don't have to do it by yourself," I said softly.

Her brown eyes darkened before she hesitantly reached out to take the ring, cradling it in the palm of her hand that had caused its share of battle and death. And it was then I realized that if anyone understood Seifer, it was Janine Larabie. He knew it, and he was willing to risk a lot of things to hold on to it.

Janine finally very slowly slipped the ring onto the finger of her left hand with a choked, "...damn it, Seifer. You out-thrilled me."

I smiled and pulled her into a hug. "Congratulations, Janie. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

~*~

I touched the button for the basement level and then patiently waited for the lift to arrive. I still could hardly believe the conversation that happened in the Training Center with Janine. I smiled. _Janine and Seifer._ No one else probably even suspected. In fact, Janine confessed that to be one of the thrills of their relationship: trying to keep it a secret. Now I began to wonder if they would actually get married like Zell and I were doing, or if they would pack up and elope just for the added thrill.

I giggled. _Elope._ I couldn't see SLC Seifer doing something spontaneous like that, but it was a nice thought. He needed to relax and do something fun. And Janine was nothing but fun. Kind of like Zell.

The elevator arrived from the top floor and opened to reveal Seifer just taking a drink of his coffee while looking over an open report in his hand. My smile disappeared and I cleared my throat as I debated whether or not to wait for the next one.

Seifer lifted his gaze from the report. "Regal," he greeted, and then looked back down.

I sighed, scolded myself for **still** being such a coward, and then forced myself to step on board. "Sir."

I pressed the button for the basement level and then clenched my hands behind my back. The desire to say 'Congratulations' to him nearly over-powered the knowledge that it would have been rude to interrupt his reading of the report. So, I just clenched my hands tighter behind my back and began planning my day to keep my mind away from it.

Then the elevator shuddered and groaned to a halt, sending my stomach down into the soles of my feet as I stared down at the basement level through the bottom portion of the elevator. _No._ I pressed the basement level button, but the elevator didn't move and the lights flickered off, triggering the red emergency lights. _Oh no. Please. Not this._ I pressed the button again, but nothing happened.

"Relax, Regal. Maintenance will fix it in a minute," Seifer said calmly, taking another drink of his coffee as he still perused the report in his hand.

"Yes, sir," I whispered, and again clenched my hands behind my back.

But a minute went by and the elevator still hadn't moved.

Seifer finished reading the report and then dropped it to the floor in front of him with a soft **splut** , which almost caused a twitch. Then he lifted his mug to his mouth for another drink and checked his watch. "Not exactly the best way to start the day," he observed, lowering his mug again. "I wonder whose ass I get to put in detention for this?"

_As long as it isn't mine or Zell's._ I cleared my throat, "I don't know, sir," and dutifully stared at the joining point of the elevator doors.

Seifer leaned back against the elevator wall and crossed his arm across his chest, still holding his 'Death is answering 'No'' mug in his other hand. To my horror, he focused on me while taking yet another drink. "I guess I'll report to you on the security measures for the wedding, since you have the final say."

I stammered a "Y-Yes, sir," while trying to get my brain to switch gears to **me** being in charge of **him**. It was like trying to back up a car with a marshmallow... or something.

"As I said--suggested--before, guests will only be allowed within the Training Center for the ceremony and then the Quad for the Reception. Cafeteria will be guarded by two Security Officers with only those on the approved list allowed in or out. Security Officers will also be at the front gates to check invitations with the list you and Dincht provided. Correct?"

I nodded, unable to look away from his green eyes and stern face. ... _Zell... help..._

His smirk twitched. "Ahndra and Marshal will be. . . undercover at the ceremony and the reception, armed of course, while supervising the guests and their activities. Extra surveillance equipment will also be monitoring GF activity. Wouldn't want any uninvited guests to ruin chicken-wuss' fun."

I blinked and minutely frowned but held my tongue.

Seifer's expression seemed to briefly change, but he continued his report. "Uniformed Security Officers will perform random checks of your guests to ensure no. . . unnecessary equipment has been. . . acquired. Most of them will be informal searches with a handheld scanner device. Resistance to the search will result in an escort from the Quad for more. . . tender loving care by myself." He took a drink of his coffee before saying, "Is that satisfactory?"

Any remaining frown disappeared and I cleared my throat and wordlessly nodded.

He regarded me a moment before looking away and saying, "Good."

Finished with the duty of being 'in charge', I released a deep breath and moved my focus again to the elevator doors. I didn't like being 'in charge'. Too many expectations. Too much pressure. I didn't li--

"What are your plans for the honeymoon?"

I blinked and flushed and dropped my jaw open all at the same moment I focused on Seifer. "...what?"

"Three weeks," Seifer reminded, "and no travel plan filed yet." He took a slow drink, green eyes seemingly. . . laughing at me. "You're going to be pretty damn sore after three weeks, Regal. You being inexperienced. I'll be sure to tell Dincht to take it easy on you. Hot heads have a tendency of being. . . overzealous."

My jaw worked, but no sound could make it past the horror and the embarrassment of my boss talking to me about what to expect on my honeymoon.

"If you want to have a little fun with him, leave a trail of clothes to the bedroom and lock the door. Then make him look for the key, with only the clothes left out as the clue as to where it could be." Seifer chuckled, and it sounded a little evil to me. . . what soaked through my shock and shame, that is. "He'll likely break down the door just to see if you're wearing anything."

He motioned to me, and I think my face burned as red as the light that continued to flash.

"Wear something that hugs that tight ass of yours. He'll go wild. Guys like a nice bit of ass."

He motioned to me again, and I paled this time and began to feel very sick as I pushed back away from him to the other corner of the elevator.

"You've got a nice rack, too. Black lace would be perfect. I'll ask Larabie if she's got something for you. Seems to me you're about the same size. I guess it doesn't matter if you aren't." He chuckled again. "It won't be on very long. And be sure to let **him** take it off. Guys like that. Control thing, Larabie says."

My eyes must have widened to twice their normal size as I stared at him.

"Showers." Seifer gave a sickly serious nod. "Definitely try it. Hot or cold doesn't matter. They're damn fun... Just be sure to keep the soap handy--"

I covered my mouth with both hands, and slumped to the floor. "...I'm going to be sick..." I mumbled through my hands.

Seifer knelt with a muttered "Larabie's going to kill me, damn it," as he rested a hand on my back. "Hell, Regal. Relax. I was having a bit of fun. Damn."

My head shot up, eyes wide and expression wild. "Fun?!" I repeated in a somewhat hysterical tone, and I couldn't control the words that flew out of my mouth. I pushed him back away from me. "You're talking about sex and showers and--black lace!--and you think that's 'a bit of fun'?!" And I could see the surprise in his green eyes as he now rested on his butt on the far side of the elevator, still sitting where the force of my push had knocked him. Before I could stop myself, I took off one of my slip-on loafers and chucked it at him. He barely deflected it in time with a raised arm.

And when I heard him laugh, it made me angry.

"Go ahead and laugh," I fumed, frowning at him with my fists on my hips, "but I'll get **you** one of these days, and then we'll see who thinks what is 'a bit of fun'!"

Seifer continued to smile and chuckle, his arms resting now on his bent knees as his green eyes laughed at me. "Hot damn. You **are** a spit fire, aren't you? I didn't believe him."

"'Him'? 'Him' who?" I insisted angrily.

"Your brother." He pushed himself to his feet and offered a hand to me.

I slapped it away, which caused him to chuckle again, and stood. "It figures." I swiped up my shoe and then angrily waved it at Seifer, who continued to chuckle and smile as he guarded his face with raised hands. "Well, you tell that brother of mine that he's supposed to **protect** his baby sister and not put goons like you up to things like this!"

"Tell him yourself," Seifer said, and the laughter in his voice was all too clear.

"Don't think I won't," I told him, still shaking my shoe at him. "I still owe him for that other pra--"

The elevator groaned and clanked and then hummed back down toward the basement, the action bringing me back to reality from the haze of embarrassment and humiliation feeding the irritation with a loud bang. I focused again on Seifer and my eyes widened as I dropped my shoe.

I backed off while whispering "Oh Hyne," and pressing myself back against the other side of the elevator.

Seifer chuckled and gathered his report and coffee mug from the floor. "It's okay, Regal. That was a lot of fun. More fun than I thought it'd be."

The elevator dinged and opened the doors. "Too bad." Seifer stepped forward, but he paused at the exit and turned to give me a wink. "Nice shot, but don't miss next time."

He stepped off, chuckling as he made his way down the hall toward his office. I slid to the floor of the elevator with a deep breath, trying not to imagine black lace and showers.
Chapter Eight:

Remembering

I absently slapped the bound sheaf of papers against my leg as I strode toward Deling Garden's entry and away from the Ground Transport. _Sorry, Sally._ I felt like the biggest jerk in the world for missing our workout sessions that week, especially with all the crap happening with the GF summon and the radicals, but I had a job to do. I knew Sally understood that, but I also knew it didn't make it better. I missed her.

I released a deep breath and scrubbed at my scalp. _Zell, you dog. You've got a wife._ Well, almost. We were working on it, at least. I just never thought it'd happen. I smirked as I remembered the look on Sally's face when I'd proposed at her birthday party. I'd have that look burned into my brain for **years**. I chuckled. _Well, until our wedding night._ And **that** had me grinning.

_Dincht!_ I cleared my throat and tried to keep thoughts away from Sally and pale-pink lace teddies... _Down boy!_ I cleared my throat again and focused on the silver hunk of trouble that was Deling Garden moments before stepping toward the entry gates. I presented my ID, signed in, and accepted the 'On-Duty SeeD' visitor's pass to clip it onto my SeeD jacket. _I wonder if the bars on this thing will keep the asses away._ They sure as hell impressed Sally every time I wore the blasted thing. And I wasn't saying I didn't think I could handle every discipline case at Deling Garden, either. They weren't there for trying to take over the world. They were there for being hard-nosed idiots that didn't recognize the chain of command. I gave a shrug and stepped past the entry gates to make my way to Jaxon's office.

There were fewer in line for the registrar's office this time, but it was still more than I would've liked to see. I scowled and moved on. _It doesn't do any good to wonder why they've got their heads up their ass._ And I knew the Instructors at Deling did their best to give the 'misfits' a reason to straighten up. It was just whether or not they decided to actually do it. I'd talked to Squall about it once, and he'd said pretty much what I had when the goons had faced me and Sally down. _'They've got to make their own choices. We can only give them the ones to choose from.'_ I just wondered what the hell was making them fight against what was obviously the better choice all the way around.

SeeD life was hard, but it was a helluva lot better than no life at all.

I shook my head and entered the security office, giving a "'Sup?" to those few faces I recognized before making my way to Jaxon's office. I gave a knock and entered to find him sitting back in his office chair, kinda slouched actually, and staring vacantly out the small window that was more a 'porthole' than 'window'. Unfortunately, I knew that look. Seen it too many times on a SeeDs face after returning from battle.

I stepped up to, and dropped the bound sheaf of papers onto, his desk to make a somewhat loud **splut**. Jaxon didn't twitch or even blink. Never a good sign. "Yo, Jax." I leaned forward and loudly snapped my fingers several times.

Realization returned and he very slowly blinked before turning his head to face me. He sat up. "Hey, Dincht. What are you doing here?"

I stepped to his office door, closed it, and then returned to sit in one of the chairs across from his desk. "First thing, I wanted to ask if you'd be Best Man. I'd ask Squall, only he's doing the ceremony."

Jaxon cleared his throat and said, "Well..." as he lowered his focus to the sheaf of papers. He lifted an eyebrow. "What's this?"

I grinned. " **That** , Jax, is your ticket out of here."

He read the title and looked up. "You're kidding. A SeeD Security Entrance Exam?" He scowled and pushed it away. "I've taken this already. Passed with the highest--"

"Not that one," I interrupted, and I couldn't hold back the smirk as I pointed toward the exam. "That's been dubbed the 'Exam from Hell'. You pass that and Seifer'll recommend you for a promotion. Maybe even put you in his Special Security section just under Ahndra."

Jaxon continued to scowl down at the exam. "I thought Cmdr. Leonhart approved transfers."

Flags went up in my head. "He does, but Seifer's H.O.S. for the **Network**. He makes the recommendations for acceptance and placement." And if it wasn't for the flags, I would have smirked at how much I sounded like Sally.

Jaxon picked up the exam and tossed it into the wastebasket. "No thanks."

"'No thanks'?" I repeated, and the look of shock on my face would have had Sally laughing. "What the hell are you talking about, 'no thanks'?"

Jaxon crossed his arms, scowling deeper as he moved his focus to stare out the same little window. "Sorry for the wasted trip, Dincht. Say 'hi' to Sally."

"Tch! You've been trying to get out of this 'hellhole' for six months. Now you're just going to blow it off like that? With a 'no thanks' and a 'say hi to Sally'? Like hell." I leaned forward. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

Jaxon stood roughly and strode to his office door. "You don't want to know, and I'd rather not remember." He jerked it open. "Again, sorry for the wasted trip."

I watched him as I absently thudded my thumb against the arm of the chair. _'I'd rather not remember.' ... 'Just doing what I can to get by.'_ I stood and made my way to the door. "Walk me out." I ordered as I passed, and I felt like shit for pulling rank.

Jaxon clenched his jaw and then slammed closed the door before following behind. When we cleared the front gates, Jaxon saluted with a sneered "Here you are, sir. Anything else for you, sir?"

"Cut the shit, Jax."

Jaxon ended the salute and barked, "Go to hell," before turning and striding back toward the entry gates.

"So who're you trying to forget?" I called after him. He halted. "And why shouldn't I report you to Seifer for disobeying standard regulations on junctioning?"

Jaxon turned and strode up to me, grabbing me by the shirt and nearly lifting me off my feet. "He can shove those regulations up his ass," he hissed.

I held his gaze, very well aware that with him junctioned he could likely beat the shit out of me, and asked, "So who was she?" When Jaxon flinched, I knew I was right on.

He shoved me away with another, "Go to hell."

I quickly recovered. "Been there," I told him as I straightened. "Watched a lot of good SeeDs get blasted to bits. Lost a lot of friends, too."

"When you lose **Sally** ," he snapped, " **then** you can come and talk to me about junctioning and regulations. Until then, my answer's the same: go to hell."

"Trabia?"

Jaxon's entire face changed at that one word. He actually went yellow and green.

I released a quick breath and scrubbed at the back of my neck. Then I grabbed Jaxon by the arm and practically dragged him toward the nearby exam qualifier: the Tomb of the Unknown King. His steps were sluggish and unresponsive, which made me know beyond a shadow of the doubt that the GF wasn't working as well as he wanted it to.

We were about to enter the tomb when he came to his senses and jerked his arm free. "What the hell are we doing here?"

I turned on him. "We're going to beat some shit up, that's what we're doing. You want to forget? You're willing to risk SeeDs lives to do it? Fine. Summon your GF until you're blue in the face. Screw your brains and memories to hell. At least she'll finally be dead." And if it had been me, I would have beat the shit out of me for that crack.

But Jaxon only looked as if he'd been shot in the gut. Then he lifted his hands. "She died right here. Right in these hands and I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. The missiles just kept coming. The blasts ringing in my ears and the bodies being thrown around like dolls. Blood and brains every--" His voice choked off, and he fisted his hands again and squeezed his eyes shut tight. One tear ran down his cheek before he opened his eyes and focused on me. "If Sally died in your arms while whispering your name, would **you** put back the way to escape? **Would** you, Zell? Or would you welcome the damn fog each and every day you wake up, so that you could be free of **that** **one** **thing**?"

"I'd probably do the same stupid-ass thing," I admitted, "all the while hoping someone would step up and help me out of hell." I motioned to him. "Sure," I went on, "it makes the pain go away a little bit, but it never goes **all** away. It's always waiting for the right question. The right look. The right place. Then they all come flooding back. You think your lady wants you wasting your life? Skating by instead of living the life she gave hers for? **Hell** no, Jax, and you know it."

Jaxon lowered his gaze and fisted his hands.

"We all know what it's like, Jax. Squall, Quis, Seifer--all of us. And we've all faced the same question. But what the hell does it prove? Nothing."

"Like hell," Jaxon said in a low voice. "It gets me out of my head. It gets me out of the same damned picture--"

"And then what? Hm? Then she's dead, and **you're** the one that killed her this time."

Jaxon slugged me across the mouth, hitting me so hard that I actually saw stars.

I spat out the mouth full of blood and straightened to face him again. "Okay. Get pissed. Get mad as hell, just don't forget who she was. What she lived for. What she gave her life for. You do and it's like she never existed. You want that for her?"

Jaxon looked as if he was about to puke right then and there. "I can't," he choked out.

I jabbed a finger in my chest. "Then where do you get off hitting **me**? If you love her so damn much, show it! Don't shove her memory in a hole!"

He grabbed my jacket and, by the look in his eyes, I thought he was going to kill me. "Shut up, damn it! Shut the hell up!"

"Or what? You'll summon your GF so you can hide some more?" He didn't say anything, so I freed my jacket from his gasp. "Come on, Jax. Don't do this. If you keep on, you're gonna lose it and Garden will be out a damn good SeeD. And what will that get you? Nothing but a padded room and worse memories when the effects of the GF wear off after they take it from you."

Jaxon rubbed both hands through his hair, roughly scratching at his scalp. "...damn it."

"Promise to clean yourself up, Jax, and I won't report you. You've got until the wedding, and I want you there GF free. If you're not? I can't help you."

He released a long and deep breath as he nodded his head and said, "Okay," in a voice that sounded as if I'd beaten the hell out of him. He sounded completely broken. And that made me feel like a damn prick. I mean, how the hell did I know what he was going through? I had Sally, and I was doing my best to keep her out of harm's way.

Jaxon met my gaze, and what he said next blew me away. "Thank you, Zell. Believe it or not, I appreciate it."

"No prob, Jax." I gripped his shoulder and forced a grin. "You punch me like that again and you'll be in the Infirmary for a week."

"I'll try to remember that... Sir."

My grin became more real and I shoved him back toward Garden. "Come on. There's an exam with your name on it in the wastebasket. I skipped out on classes today so that I could bring it back with me."

"I appreciate that, too." He sent me a sidelong glance. "Zell, I don't know if I can handle 'Best Man'. Elle... She was my fiancée."

The grin vanished as I met his gaze. "Damn, Jax. I'm sorry." It explained a lot. "Well, sure, I guess if you can't do it." I scrubbed at the back of my neck. "Geez. Marshal can't because he's on security. Irvine's tending bar. Squall's doing the ceremony. Zack won't give me a straight answer. He's been married three times already," I sent as an aside to Jaxon. "Or was it two?"

Jaxon blinked and then smirked. "And I thought **I** was the 'one date wonder'."

I grinned, but it faded as I went back to the list in my head. "Seifer--Yeah right. Zone's out of the question--too bad, too--and I can't ask Sally's pop because he's giving away the bride. I guess I could ask Laguna."

"The President of Esthar?"

"Yeah, but he's so busy." I grinned again. "Sorry, dude. It's you, or Sally and I have to elope." Hey. I wouldn't mind.

"Then I guess it's me."

I snapped my fingers. "Damn."

Jaxon laughed, and it sounded real. I gave him a slug on the arm, which he returned, and then I released an unnoticed deep breath. Sally would've been proud of me.

~*~

I plopped onto the couch in the SeeD cabin just as the phone in my pocket rang the tone programmed for Sally. I smiled and dug it out of my pocket, answering with a "How's the sexiest security officer on the planet?"

She giggled, and like usual, it gave me tingles and a grin.

"Hi, sweetie. I'm doing okay."

"How's your day been goin'? Wild? Or just the usual?"

"Mostly the usual. What about you? You haven't been in any classes today."

"I know. I grabbed one of the entrance exams and brought it out here to Deling Garden for Jax to fill out. I had to ask him about 'Best Man' anyway. Oh. And I guess he's the lucky stiff that gets to plan the reception over here. Janine buzzed while we were talking." I sniggered when I remembered the look on Jaxon's face. "Jax's crapping kittens, too, because now he has to set up all the security crap."

"Poor Jaxon."

"Nah. It'll be good for him. Keep his mind busy." Maybe make it easier to give up on the GFs. "Say, you hear anything from that furniture place we stopped in? They said they'd call as soon as that bedroom set came in. I guess I should've stopped by."

"They **did** call, actually. They said that it's on backorder and won't be in until about 4 weeks from now."

I frowned and glared at the ceiling. "Geez. That's, like, 2 weeks before the honeymoon. How are we supposed to get the apartment set up with doing all the final crap for the wedding?"

"They said that they wouldn't charge us extra for delivery and set up," she offered.

I smiled. "Leave it to you to have it covered before calling." She softly giggled and I shook my head. _Damn girl, you couldn't be much less than perfect._ And what the hell was she doing with me? "What about that table and chair set? Did he talk to you about those, too?"

"They should come in tomorrow. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to have them delivered, so he said he would call when they came in."

"Okay. If I'm not there, tell him we'd like them delivered. I don't think we're going to have time to pick them up and everything."

"All right."

For some reason, an itch in the back of my brain had me asking, "Meg, are you sure you're okay?" I checked my watch. She wasn't off the clock yet and it was way beyond her lunch time. "You're calling on Garden time, kitten. What's the matter?"

"N-Nothing," she said hesitantly. "I just miss you, is all."

I adjusted my position to lay out on the couch, hand behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I know. I've missed you, too." I released a deep breath. "Life's been pretty crazy, huh? If it isn't one thing, it's another. But I'll make it up to you, kitten. Promise."

"You don't have to."

But her tone of voice screamed for it. "Sure I do. Besides, I know how much you love surprises."

"Okay." And I could practically see the smile in her voice.

"How about dinner on the beach tonight? We'll go out just before the sun goes down."

"That sounds wonderful," she whispered, and then she sighed. "Zell...?"

"...yeah?"

"Zell, I really want this to work."

And the hint of tears I heard in her voice made me feel even worse for not being around as much as I wanted to. "I know, kitten. So do I. I'm training those seniors for my classes, and once that's done things'll slow down. A couple of them already have Final Exams scheduled, so as soon as they pass, Squall said he'd push through their graduation and have them instated as Instructors. He promised it'd be before the wedding. Okay?"

She didn't say anything, but she more than likely nodded her head because of not wanting to have me hear the tears in her voice. She was a sensitive thing, just another reason why I sometimes wondered why she was with me. I could be as tactful as a Wendigo on steroids.

"Now don't you start crying," I soothed. "Seifer'll bust you for using company time for personal calls."

She sniffed. "No. He said it was okay for me to call."

My eyes snapped open. "Say again?"

"I wasn't feeling very good, so I asked if I could call you. He said I could."

I frowned in confusion and scratched my scalp. "Oh." _Seifer?_ I guess she **was** his favorite. I smirked. _Hell. She could wrap_ _anyone_ _around her little finger with those big eyes of hers._ I chuckled.

"What's so funny?" she asked softly, the smile returning to her voice.

"Nothing. I'll see you in a little bit, kitten. Okay? I've got to transfer at Timber and then I'll be home."

"All right."

"Bye, bunny."

She giggled. "Bye."

I clicked off the phone and then tucked it back into my pocket, moving my other hand behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. I smiled. I could still remember the first time I was here with her. On our way to Timber to meet her parents and tell them about her score on the Fire Cavern.

Hanging out with her had been different than anything I'd done before. If someone had asked, back then, how I meant 'different', I wouldn't have been able to tell them. But now? I guess the best way to describe it was 'we clicked', but even that was kind of half-assed. I could 'click' with mostly everybody--except Seifer and Squall. But with Sally? I'd actually... I don't know. I guess I'd looked at her different. Played it cooler and not as wild. I hadn't had to act so much the clown to be, well, cool. Maybe it had been the way she'd looked at me. Or the way she listened to what I had to say. It didn't matter, I guess. I just felt safe with her.

I brought my left hand out from behind my head to stare at my half of the ring she'd had made for me. A 'claw like' portion of the tattoo on my face. I guess it sounded hokey but... Well, I'd begun to feel like this ring when I was away from her. Only half there. _I guess that's what Jax was talking about._ He'd lost his half.

I released a deep breath and lowered my hand to again stare at the ceiling. Thinking about what he did to **not** think about it. _You would've done the same damn thing, Dincht, and you know it._ What else could I have done to keep from feeling only half alive?

~*~

I needed to stretch my legs, so I walked the distance from Balamb to Garden, chuckling and shaking my head as I remembered the so many other trips to and from that Sally and I had made. The kiss, the concussion, the silence just holding hands, the carriage rides... They made the entire Sorceress Ultimecia thing worth it. Not that it hadn't been worth it before. I mean, we were saving the **world**.

I was just glad to know Sally had been a part of that world all along.

My smile faded when I remembered how she'd been so badly hurt during that fight between Balamb and Galbadia Gardens. And though I'd been there, I didn't do anything to help her. I couldn't. I hadn't known about her back then. She'd only been a passing face. Someone who'd given me a Mega Phoenix. Someone who I'd occasionally seen in the library between SeeD missions before all hell broke loose.

I kicked at a rock and shoved my hands in my pockets. While I'd been trying to save Rinoa from falling off a cliff, Sally had been lying hurt under a bunch of fallen rubble. And I hadn't even been able to save Rinoa! I had to go back and get Squall--

I blinked and stopped as a memory began to tickle at the back of my brain...

A SeeD ran up to me as I held my position at the front gate, hoping against hope that Squall would get to Rinoa in time to save her. I focused on the SeeD as he motioned behind him. "There's been a collapse in the Library and we can't get one of the candidates out!"

"What? Damn it!" I looked to the others as they stood waiting for the next wave of attacks from Galbadia Garden. "I'll be right back." I turned back to the SeeD, grabbing his arm as I headed toward the Library. "Come on!"

"She's hurt bad," the SeeD went on. "We've got to get her to the Infirmary fast!"

"What happened?"

"Sally was helping get the junior classmen out when one of the bookcases toppled at the last attack."

I swore and picked up the pace as I turned to run down the side corridor toward the Library. "Are the kids okay?"

"Yeah. She pushed the last one out of the way. The little guy only got hit with a couple books as it came down."

I entered the Library and skidded to a halt to see one of the huge wood bookcases laying on its face, books scattered all over the place. Only a small hand showed from under the bookcase as two other SeeD tried to lift it.

"Shit." I ran forward, skidding to my knees to take hold of the small hand. It was warm to the touch, the pulse weak but steady. I released a quick breath of relief and then looked to the other SeeDs. "She's alive. I'll cast Float and then you guys help me lift and push. Ready? One-Two-Three!"

The bookcase moved, settling on the other side of the Library to reveal a petite candidate with brunette braids. I knelt beside her and cast a low-level Cure spell as I carefully turned her onto her back. Her face twisted with pain and her hands tightened into fists. There was blood in her hair and trickling down the side of her face. She more than likely had internal bleeding, too, because when I lifted her into my arms and stood, she shuddered and cringed with a low moan.

"Sh-sh-sh. I've got ya." I sprinted out of the Library, holding her close against me while shouting "Tell the doc I'm on my way to the Infirmary and to get her butt over there!"

"You've got it!"

I glanced down to her pale face, twisted in pain and stained with blood. One side was already darkening with a bruise. "Hold on, girl."

Dr. Kadowaki wasn't in the Infirmiry, but a SeeD in training for the medical section was. I hurried inside. "She was trapped under a bookcase. She's hurt bad." I set the candidate carefully down onto the bed in one of the exam rooms. The girl grabbed my hands and held tight, voicing a pain-filled cry as her face twisted yet again.

_"_ _Do_ _something!" I said, voice a little panicked._

The SeeD stepped forward and began examining her. "Broken ribs. . . Damn. One of her lungs has collapsed. Move." And he pushed me aside.

The girl opened her eyes as my hands left hers and whispered, "...Zell..." And then her eyes closed again as she shuddered.

I leaned close. "It's okay, girl. You just hold on. They'll fix you up--"

"Zell!" came a call from outside the Infirmary. I looked up to see a group of SeeD entering. "They need you!"

"Right there!" I focused again on the candidate and gave her chin a gentle chuck. "Fight on, girl. Garden needs more SeeDs like you." I looked to the SeeD working on her.

He sent me a somewhat forced smile. "She'll be okay." He motioned toward the door with a tilt of his head. "Hurry."

I nodded and sent the candidate one last look before leaving the Infirmary at a run.

I took a staggered step backward. ... _the hell?_

But memories still did that sometimes, coming back from the fog the GFs had made in our head. Finally making their way out of the hole. The doctors on staff had said that some memories took longer to return than others, being triggered by heavy emotions or stress. That's why so many candidates and SeeDs were still enrolled in weekly sessions. To help them deal with all the misplaced memories.

But this one? _I... I saved her life...?_ I picked up the pace, heading toward Balamb at a near run. The memory felt damn good to have back. And now I had to tell Sally.

~*~

I sighed and looked at my watch. _Fifteen minutes_. Then I could go and hopefully meet Zell on the way from Balamb to Garden.

"Regal."

I twitched and looked behind me to watch Seifer approach. "Yes, sir?"

He stopped and pointed toward the elevator. "Get out of my security office."

"But--"

"What part of that didn't you understand?" He turned back for his office, a hand in the air. "Go on, go on. The perimeter says Dincht is on the approach at a run."

My eyes widened as I softly gasped. Then I smiled and gathered my SeeD jacket and hurried for the elevator while calling "Thank you, sir!" over my shoulder.

I hit the first floor button and then excitedly 'hopped' forward and back from the balls of my feet to my heels as it rushed upward. The doors opened and I squeezed through before it had finished. Then I slid down the banister of the stairs on my backside--a trick Zell had taught me to work on postural balance--and hit the ground running and giggling out an occasional "Excuse me," to a passed candidate or SeeD as I continued on my way.

I think everyone at Balamb Garden had come to expect craziness from me a long time ago.

Zell and the front gate came in view just about the same time. I squealed out a "Zell!", catching his attention and his boyish grin moments before he leaped the gate. I threw myself into his arms, knowing full-well that the entire scene was over-blown and cliché. After all, he'd only been gone for the day. But I didn't care. I'd missed him.

He held me tight. "So how's my girl?" he asked in a low voice.

I released a long and deep breath, a silly smile on my lips as my arms encircled him. "I feel better now," I whispered.

Zell chuckled, the sound vibrating through me to give me a shiver. "Yeah. Me, too."

I softly giggled, giving a brief and quiet squeal when he scooped me up and headed forward toward Garden. I happily dangled my feet and linked my fingers behind his neck as I gave him a kiss on the cheek and then pressed mine against it.

Zack would have rolled his eyes and made a 'gag' gesture to the nearest male.

"This is my favorite position," I happily sighed.

"I bet. You wanna know why?"

"Because I'm your damsel in distress?"

Zell chuckled again and nudged my cheek with his. I lifted my head and met his gaze, still smiling that silly smile as I was. "Something like that, I guess. Did you know I'm the one who took you to the Infirmary that time?"

"'That time'?" I repeated dreamily. "What time? When I bonked my head on the way to Balamb?"

He shook his head. "No. When Galbadia Garden attacked and you were caught in the Library under the bookcase."

I blinked, my smile vanishing as my eyes widened and I gasped. Then I softly said, "You..." as I hesitantly pointed at him, still blinking as my mind struggled with the possibility. "You took me to the--R-Really?"

Zell nodded. "I just remembered on the way here." He grinned. "I nearly fell over."

I stared at him for another long moment of awed wonder before whispering a choked "...oh Zell..." and giving his neck a tight hug as I pressed my face against him. For years I'd wondered, but no one could tell me; the memory long since lost to life, war, and GFs. And now... My Zell had saved my life, proving once more that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, we were meant to be together. What else could it mean? What else did I **want** it to mean?

Zell kissed my hair. "How about I tell you the story tonight?"

I wordlessly nodded, happily crying against him. I couldn't think of another memory that would have been so well timed.
Chapter Nine:

Receptions

"Sally, you are **so** ready."

I smiled and lowered my gaze from the monitor/webcam of the handheld, absently fingering the keys on the portable keyboard. "I don't know, Rin. The thought. . . the thought of singing in front of so many people is terrifying."

"I suppose I could invite some of my friends from the university over for a small recital. As a practice."

_A practice._ I bit my lip and checked the time. My lunch break would be over in ten minutes, and I needed the time to get back to Garden--I trekked out to the Fire Cavern for these private lessons with Rinoa, believe it or not. That way I knew exactly who was going to be here and when.

"Um... O-Okay. I guess that would be a good idea."

"How about this next weekend? Can you get away without making anyone suspicious?"

"Uh, well, I guess I could say you've got something for the new apart--no. That wouldn't work. Zell would want to come and help bring it home."

"Why not a bachelorette party? Then you could have Selphie here, too, for support. You could even spend the weekend."

I smiled and nodded. "All right. That sounds fun. Zell **can't** go to one of those."

Rinoa smiled. "All right then. I'll set it up and send out the invitations. Who do you want me to invite?"

"Just Selphie and Janine, of course. Oh. And Ahndra, too, please. Um... Then the other girls from your school. And Quistis is fine. I've actually missed her."

Rinoa's smile faded. "Don't you know?" she asked hesitantly, shaking her head.

"'Know'? 'Know' what?"

Rinoa's pretty face held reluctance. "Well, Quis and... Quis and Zack eloped."

I gasped and let the keyboard slip off my lap. " **What**? **When**?"

"Yesterday," Rinoa said softly. "They left on a boat after the ceremony at a little chapel. I... I don't know when they're coming back."

_Eloped_. "But... But he never said..." I lowered my gaze. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad. Maybe Zack would finally be happy? Maybe Quistis would finally feel 'good enough'? _Maybe they'll miss the wedding?_

"I'm sorry, Sally," Rinoa said softly.

I shook my head and stood, absently gathering up the keyboard and retrieving the handheld from where I had carefully placed it in the worn side of a natural formation of rock. "I better go," I whispered. "I don't like being late."

"All right," she said, watching my face. "I'll see you this next weekend then. I'll send the invitations today or tomorrow."

"Thank you."

Rinoa looked as if she would say something more, but she only smiled and then logged off. I turned off the handheld and slipped it into my pocket while absently making my way out of the cavern. _Eloped_. I sighed. But at least he'd eloped with someone like Quistis. Someone who could handle herself in a relationship and not get pushed around. Someone who had more morals than a toad. I snickered and shook my head. Then the smile slowly faded. _But it would have been nice for a note or something, Zack. I mean, for heaven sake, I sent you an invitation and you don't even RSVP saying 'sorry. eloping next Wednesday. can't make it.'_ I sighed again. No wonder Zell hadn't been able to get him to agree to 'best man'.

I shrugged, clobbered a blue bite bug before it could even see me coming, and proceeded out of the forest to the clearing in front of Balamb Garden. I halted and looked up at the massive Garden with a smile. The way the sun glistened off its light blue exterior made me think of a seashell wet from the ocean. Very romantic and very lovely. Especially with the levitator rings glistening gold above the huge building. And the wind? It fairly whistled and sang through the different artistic lines. Very welcoming. Very inviting.

Home.

I gave a silly smile as I shrugged both shoulders and again stepped forward. Seifer was just driving out as I approached the road. He pulled to a stop and rolled down the window of the large Ground Transport.

"Yes, sir?" I asked after saluting.

"Get in."

I blinked. "Sir?"

"Regal, will you **get** **in**! Why the hell do I have to repeat everything?"

"Because I don't understand why," I said before I could stop myself. I clicked my mouth shut after adding a hushed "Sir."

"You need to get in because I told you to."

_What kind of reason is that?_ I wanted to say, but I was his subordinate and 'soldiers' were supposed to follow orders. "Yes, sir." And I made my way around to the passenger side and opened the door. When I stepped up, I noticed Janine lounging in the back seat giving herself a manicure. She was dressed in her SeeD uniform the same as I was, so it meant she'd been pulled from her regular duties. "Janine?"

She smirked at me. "Hello, Sal gal. It seems we're on a little trip." She motioned to Seifer. "HOS doesn't like divulging secrets, though. He just tells me 'tough shit' and doesn't say anything else."

"Oh." I looked to Seifer and then Janine before giving a shrug and a sigh and closing the door. I buckled up and the transport moved forward.

"At first I thought maybe the big guy and I were eloping. Damned if it doesn't sound fun," Janine went on. "But then you appeared and he grumbled something about disappearances and wanting to know what the hell was going on before pulling over to pick you up."

I flushed and just stared at my hands.

"I've been figuring you and lover-boy have been spending quality time there," Janine confessed, "but he's in his office so it blew it to hell. Too bad."

I flushed darker. _Don't think I haven't been tempted._

"Oh well. Gives me another secret to figure out. Damn thrill. I appreciate that."

Seifer looked over at me. "Does she talk this much to **you**?" he asked. I looked over at him, surprised at the question. His green eyes twinkled with a twisted version of mischief. "I can't get her to shut up."

Janine's lips twitched. "You didn't complain last night."

I focused ahead, feeling as if my innocence was being drained the more time I spent with them. I lightly bit my lip.

"I was busy at the time."

Janine laughed and I lifted a hand to my forehead to shield part of my face from his view. It couldn't have burned any brighter. _Zell... help..._

"So," Janine said, adjusting her position to rest a hand on the back of Seifer's chair as well as mine. "You getting cold feet yet? Less than four weeks to the wedding," she reminded.

I lowered my hand and focused outside my window. "If it weren't for my parents, I'd elope," I admitted softly, and it felt... wonderful to confess that.

Janine laughed and gave my shoulder a squeeze. "So you **are** a woman after all."

I looked over at her, eyes wide. "What?"

"No offense, Sal, but I've never seen you fight very hard to fall into the sack." She shrugged, still holding my gaze. "I've just started to wonder if you've got any passion for anything outside of work."

My jaw dropped. Then I frowned--as much as I do, anyway--and only vaguely noticed Seifer's twitch of lip and his muttered, "Now you're in for it."

"For Hyne's holy sake, just because Zell and I don't make out in the middle of the main corridor doesn't mean we don't fight with the want to do just that. We've got a bit more self-control than the average person is all. Or else we're more willing to keep from giving in so that we can have a special night after our wedding. **Excuse me** if we don't show enough passion for you. It's good enough for us because we know it means enough to the other person to wait." I frowned deeper and crossed my arms as I changed my focus outside my window again to grumble "Geez. It's not like it's anyone's business but ours what happens in our love-life anyway. Trying to be good and it's 'why get married', 'why not shack up', 'why not wear black lace and take showers'." I scoffed and grumbled some more. "Now I see why Zack eloped. Get away from people saying 'do this', 'do that', 'don't do this', 'don't feel that'. It's enough to make a person go mad."

Silence descended for a moment before Janine observed "You know what, babe? Sexual tension gives her a spine."

I gasped and faced her, eyes wide as Seifer actually howled in laughter. Then I scowled again and muttered about wishing GFs weren't illegal as I focused ahead. But I knew she was right. Zell and I had already talked about it several times, admitting that being apart was getting harder because we wanted to be together. Those talks made me thankful for not waiting more than the three months for the wedding. I don't think either one of us would have survived. One of us would have slipped and taken a tumble, dragging the other along. Hadn't it already nearly happened in Winhill? And that had even been before the proposal.

The proposal changed everything because it brought up a very... desirable ending.

I adjusted my crossed arms and sighed, "Sorry."

"If it's the way you feel, Sal gal," Janine said, giving my shoulder a squeeze, "don't apologize. You're damn right, more than likely. I should butt the hell out. Only I never learned how to mind my own business."

I sighed again as I faced her. "I'm still sorry. I've been... different lately, and I haven't liked it very much."

Janine smirked and gave me a wink. "Don't sweat it, Sal gal. Babe here's been enjoying it."

Seifer's smirk twitched and he adjusted his hands on the wheel.

"Although I wasn't too thrilled with the idea of him giving you honeymoon advice," Janine continued, cuffing him upside the back of the head, causing another twitch of his lips. "If it'd been me, I would've beat the smirk off his face."

And as I watched the two together, it made me smile. _Janine and Seifer._ They both deserved the other, and it looked like they were happy with the arrangement. Well, how **they** were happy anyway. I think Ahndra and Marshal were more 'happy' than Janine and Seifer. But I figured 'to each their own portion of happiness' and was just glad that they had someone to be themselves with. That was the most important thing.

Janine suddenly grabbed Seifer's ear and gave a twist. He yelped and swerved with a holler of "Larabie, what the hell are you doing!?"

I twitched and braced myself as I watched the two with wide eyes.

"I'm going to twist until you tell me where we're going. I've been patient enough, you little prick. Now tell me!"

Seifer released the wheel and grabbed her hand, wrestling her hold as she swore and he swore and the vehicle swerved and I closed my eyes while praying we didn't die. When the tires didn't squeal and there wasn't a crash, I slowly opened one eye to see the Ground Transport still going straight down the road and--I gasped when I looked to the driver's seat. Janine now sat across his lap, smirking up at him with her hands entwined behind his neck as he drove down the road, also smirking.

How it happened, I have no idea.

"We're going to Deling Garden," Seifer informed.

Janine's smirk vanished. "Deling? What for?"

"Security meeting regarding the Reception planned."

Janine lightly bit her lip, which surprised me, and then pointed to the side of the road. "Pull over. We need to talk."

Seifer raised an eyebrow and regarded her a moment before pulling over and taking the Transport out of gear. Janine climbed out the open window and leaped down, stepping slightly off to the side as Seifer opened the door and stepped out.

"You, too, Sal gal. Might as well tell everyone," Janine said.

"Oh." I bit my lip and then opened the door to slip down, hesitantly making my way over to her and Seifer on the other side of the Transport.

Janine ran a hand through her short black spiked hair and released a quick breath. "Hell." She finally looked up and faced Seifer. "You're gonna want to go light on this one, Babe. Jaxon, who's doing the Reception?, his fiancée died in the Trabia missile attack."

I cringed while sending Seifer a sidelong glance. His face had become a stony mask. Again I remembered Selphie's words.

"Now I don't know if he realizes... I don't know how much he knows, but cutting him some slack would--"

"Larabie, I'm not going to cut him anything," he said through clenched teeth. "He's SeeD. He'll deal with it."

"And what if 'dealing with it' is wiping that smirk off your face with the sharp end of his sword?" She crossed her arms. "You gonna take it like you did with me? Hell no."

"If he has a problem with me, then he can report it to the Commander."

Janine glowered. "Seifer, don't be a dickhead. Of course he doesn't have a problem with **you**. He knows you're damn good at your job. Why the hell do you think he put in for that transfer? Balamb's **the** place to be, with you and Sally and Dincht and Cmdr. Leonhart the best of the best." Janine leaned forward and jabbed Seifer in the chest. "But his fiancée's **dead** and he's got no one to blame." She leaned back again. "I had the same problem with Jennifer. No one to kill. When I found out what happened, I **still** didn't have revenge. I mean, how the hell do you take revenge on a Sorceress that's already dead?"

Seifer clenched his jaw and fisted his hands. I bit my lip and wanted to say **something** , but what could I? I couldn't fix this. I didn't even know what they could possibly be going through.

"Now I'm not saying handle him with kid gloves. Hell. That would likely piss him off faster than you kissing his ass, but just don't go in there all fired and ready to hit every single button to find out what kind of man he is. He's a damn good SeeD. But he's a SeeD that lost a damn good woman in the line of duty."

To my surprise, Seifer released a quick breath and scrubbed viciously at his scalp. Then he lowered his arms sharply to his sides. "Why the **hell** does this always come up to bite me in the ass?" he snapped. "Damn Sorceress bitch!" he shouted, even lifting his focus to the sky. "Leave me the hell alone!"

I took a step back, blinking in surprise the same time Janine stepped toward him. She lifted a hand to cup his jaw. "I know, Babe. I know."

Seifer glared down into her face a moment before letting out another quick breath and pulling her hand away, his glare softening to its usual sternness. "Warning noted. Now get in the goddamned Transport."

Janine smirked and saluted. "Yes, sir." Then she moved past, giving his butt a smack as she did.

I couldn't move. I could only stand there watching my boss as he tried to handle this heavy load of guilt and responsibility without cracking under the weight. I didn't know how he did it day after day. Doing his best to protect Garden while knowing that there were some out there who hated him because of a life that had been lived out of his control. How did someone live under that weight?

Seifer continued to stare out at the horizon for a moment before turning, his step pausing as he focused on me. He was quiet a moment before motioning to the Transport with a "What are you waiting for, Regal? An engraved invitation?" But it wasn't as harsh as I knew it could have been.

I nodded and whispered "Yes, sir," before moving toward the Transport, biting my lip to keep from saying ' **I** don't hate you, sir,' and offering him understanding he likely didn't get from a lot of people. It wouldn't have made it through his stony persona, more than likely. The mask hiding something I didn't know how he carried alone.

Of course knowing about Jaxon's painful past and Seifer's involvement in it had me worrying about the impending meeting. After meeting Jaxon that first time, I looked forward to meeting him again. I was even glad that he was involved in the planning of my wedding Reception here. But to face the man both responsible and **not** responsible for your fiancée's death? How did someone react to that?

I didn't know, but I was about to find out.

The Ground Transport rumbled into the parking lot to the side of the Garden with Seifer muttering about "damn designers" and "needing to be shot". Janine smirked and only climbed out as I did the same, still remembering the other time I'd been here. I bit my lip and hoped the men of before wouldn't be around.

Seifer snapped his fingers several times, grabbing my attention and making me hurry forward and beside him with a hushed "Sorry, sir." We stepped forward, immediately noticing the line of new registrants as well as the one of 'enrollees' being loudly chastised by a Physical Education Instructor. Of course all eyes migrated to our approach, and I could hear the mutterings and murmurings begin as everyone likely recognized Seifer, Head of Garden Network Security and Cmdr. Leonhart's right-hand man. In fact, Seifer was likely the reason most of them were here.

Janine smirked and sent "Someone sure as hell isn't popular," as an aside to Seifer.

"Tough shit."

And I actually smiled. Hadn't Zell said the same thing?

A tall man in a SeeD uniform approached. I immediately recognized the 6' 4" good-looks as Jaxon. I smiled and waved shyly, eliciting a slight smile from him in return, and then looked up to Seifer to say, "That's Jaxon Crest, sir. In the uniform."

Seifer gave a nod and lengthened his step forward. Jaxon's smile vanished and his face seemed to harden.

"Here we go," Janine mumbled.

Jaxon saluted. "Sir. Jaxon Crest, Lieutenant First Class, Security Section."

"Lieutenant." Seifer motioned behind to me and Janine as we came to stand on each side of him. "Regal. Larabie. You know them?"

Jaxon slightly inclined his head, hands clenched behind his back as he stood at ease.

"Good. Then we can get to work." He motioned behind Jaxon, deeper into Garden. "Office?"

"Of course, sir. This way." And Jaxon began leading us toward the Security Section.

Janine and I exchanged glances and then followed after Seifer as he followed Jaxon. "I don't like this," she said in a low voice only I could hear. "Jaxon's colder than usual. Haven't seen him like this for years."

I looked ahead to Jaxon's tall frame as it almost rigidly walked down the hall toward the Security Section. Then I again focused on Janine beside me. "What do you think is wrong?"

"Besides being here, without Elle, and meeting Seifer?" Janine smirked. "Maybe he found a toadstool in his coffee."

I gave Janine a shove. "I'm serious," I complained.

"I know, I know, Sal gal. Shit." She observed Jaxon for a long time before shaking her head. "I don't know, but it sure as hell seems like he's got himself under some kind of firm control. I just hope it's not to keep from pounding Seifer to hell and back. That wouldn't exactly get him the transfer."

And I really wanted him to get that transfer. He was too nice a guy to stay here.

Jaxon showed us into his office, motioning to a pair of seats across from his desk the same time he closed his office door. As usual, Seifer stood in front of the two chairs, arms tightly crossed. So, Janine and I sat with an exchanged glance. Jaxon adjusted the blinds to his office, paused, and then went around to stand behind his desk as he regarded the three of us.

Finally, he slowly lowered himself into his chair. "I wasn't informed you were coming, sir."

"No, you weren't," Seifer responded. "Problem?"

"No, sir, I just don't like losing control of the situation."

"Good. Then don't." Seifer pulled something out of the inside of his dark trench-coat and tossed it onto Jaxon's desk. "Security plans for the Reception."

Jaxon lowered his gaze to the folded up paper as he lightly tapped the side of his thumb onto his desk top. I bit my lip as I watched his reaction, especially when Janine shook her head and scrubbed at her scalp.

The plans weren't touched as Jaxon looked up. "I was under the impression from Larabie, sir, that I was responsible for arranging plans for the Reception. That included security plans."

"I'm in charge of security," Seifer countered. "Per Regal **and** per job description."

Jaxon held Seifer's gaze for a long and tense moment before looking to the top left drawer of his desk and opening it. He retrieved a folder and then handed it to Seifer, gaze again meeting gaze. "With all due respect, sir, I'd rather you disapprove my plans before implementing your own." Seifer accepted the folder and opened it to begin sorting through the papers within. "Like I said, I don't like losing control of the situation," Jaxon finished.

I looked over at Janine, noticed she watched Seifer's profile, and then moved my focus to Jaxon. His thumb had begun it's rhythmic tapping again as he continued to watch Seifer with a hard expression in his blue eyes. To my surprise, he focused on me when Seifer turned back a page, and his expression softened considerably. He even looked normal. Then he sent me a slight twitch of lip--which I returned in actual smile form--and refocused on Seifer. His expression became stern again, yes, but not nearly as hard.

I actually released a sigh of relief.

Seifer closed the folder and turned to present it to me. I twitched, wide eyes focusing on him as I absently took it from his outstretched hand. "It's acceptable and only needs your final authorization."

Janine smirked and actually leaned back, crossing her legs as she crossed her arms tightly under her chest. Her expression seemed to scream 'Good for you, Babe.'

"Y-Yes, sir," I stammered, and I opened the folder and began scanning the information therein, trying to focus while Seifer turned back to Jaxon.

He pulled another folded set of papers from his inner coat pocket--this a bound sheaf folded in half--and tossed that also down onto Jaxon's desk.

Jaxon's eyebrow twitched before he looked down at the folded papers. He unfolded--He bolted to his feet and extended the papers with a shake as he again focused on Seifer. "Like **hell** I scored 65%!"

Seifer slowly crossed his arms, the tension in the room making me slouch a bit deeper into the chair as I desperately tried to focus on the security plan.

"65%?" Janine repeated, shocked. Then she grumbled, "Damn it. Should've known he'd beat my score." She sat up and pointed at Jaxon. "You damn nerd! I was the highest score until you came along!"

I glanced up in time to catch Jaxon's surprised blink. "Excuse me?"

"You passed, Crest. Congratulations." Seifer smirked. "Still have a problem with your score?"

Jaxon, expression complete confusion, lowered his focus to the big '65%' scrawled along the top in red ink. "How can 65% be a passing score?"

I hunkered down lower in my seat, especially when Janine sent me a smirk.

"Because that's the Exam from Hell, Crest. I thought Dincht told you that," Seifer said.

"He did but--" Jaxon dropped the sheaf of papers onto the desk, causing a twitch from me, and ran a hand from his hair. "I passed with a 97% on the last one. Was damn proud of that, too." He released a breath. "Oh well. Pride kicks the crap out of us when we're not looking."

_Sorry, Jaxon,_ I wanted to tell him, but then I'd have to admit I wrote it. And then he'd make a big deal about how hard it was. And then Seifer would brag at how I'd passed the other with an above-perfect score. And then Janine would say I had too many brains to be safe. And then the joke would start all over again.

"Like Larabie said," Seifer told him, "You're the current highest ranker. That automatically approves you for a promotion when Cmdr. Leonhart approves your transfer. I've already done so. You'll be second in command to Ahndra Kelley and Head of the Base Security Division."

Jaxon's answer was silence, and I glanced up from the folder--I still didn't know what the security plan was--to see Jaxon's surprised expression return. "Say again?"

Seifer frowned and looked down at Janine to his left. "What the hell is wrong with everyone? 'Say again', 'Excuse me', 'Why'... Do they think I don't have better things to do with my time than repeat myself?"

Jaxon smirked, and that mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes made me relax and actually focus on the security plan--which was very good, by the way. "Sorry, sir. I heard what you said, but I was of the mind wishful thinking overpowered the possibilities. I wanted to make sure I hadn't drifted into a daydream."

Seifer focused on Jaxon, measuring him up as he crossed his arms and asked, "And why's that?"

"I've been submitting applications for transfer to Balamb for almost a year," he admitted.

Seifer lifted his eyebrow. "Records?"

Jaxon nodded and opened the lower right hand drawer to pull out a classification folder filled almost to overflowing with transfer requests. He presented it to Seifer, who slowly and deliberately took it.

Seifer stared down at the folder with a stern glare before turning to his right and presenting it to me. "Regal, look into this. I want a report on my desk by tomorrow morning."

I closed the security plan for my wedding reception and set it quickly aside as I took the folder. "Yes, sir."

Seifer focused again on Jaxon. "Anything else to report?"

"Not at the current time, no."

Seifer curtly nodded and then turned to me again. "Meet me at the Ground Transport in 30 minutes."

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

He left the office.

Jaxon released a quick breath, attracting my attention as he sat and rubbed at his scalp with his right hand. Janine continued to manicure her nails, smirking as usual. "Thank Hyne **that's** over," he mumbled. Then he focused on me, and his expression became apologetic. "How are you, Sally? I heard about the run-in with the D.C., and I'm sorry about that."

I flushed and lowered my gaze to absently straighten the folders on my lap. "It's all right. Zell was there."

Janine glanced between the two of us. "What run-in?"

I twitched and looked over at her. "Oh. N-Nothing."

Jaxon smirked. "'Nothing' she says." Jaxon shook his head and then focused on Janine, still calmly filing her nails. "She and Dincht took on our resident D.C.s--Seifer wannabes; quite pathetic really--and walked away without a scratch."

Janine arched a dark eyebrow, the nail file not missing a beat. "Do tell."

I flushed. "Don't tell," I said to him, and then moved my gaze to Janine. "It wasn't a big deal."

"Oh. I guess more than half a dozen goons isn't a big deal when you're working for a man like Seifer," Jaxon said.

I lowered my gaze again, flushing darker.

"Oh now **this** I've got to hear," Janine said, putting her nail file away and leaning forward. "Details, Crest. **All** the details."

Jaxon laughed. I sighed. _So I defended myself. It wasn't as if I drew blood or anything. They weren't that big of a threat._ Jaxon had even said so with his 'pathetic, really' statement. So why was it such a big deal that Zell and I had walked away? I just didn't understand.

"I don't know **all** the details, Larabie," Jaxon admitted. "I just know what was filed in the doctor's report when he examined the head goon." He looked over at me as I made the appearance of looking over the security plan for my reception. "That's quite a grip you've got there. I'm sure Dincht's taught you everything you know."

I flushed and actually ignored him.

Jaxon chuckled. "Has he taught you to defend and attack against bladed weapons?"

I looked up, eyes wide. "P-Pardon?" Zell had, in fact, mentioned that particular aspect of my training coming up. Right now I could only mainly defend against blunt weapons such as the quarterstaff, nunchukus, and a very small variety of mace-type weapons. With defending consisting mostly of staying out of the way and deflection.

Janine scoffed. "Crest, leave her alone. Damn. You wave your sword at her and she's liable to faint dead away."

Jaxon smiled wider, and the boyish-mischief in the glance had me blinking and leaning slightly back. Then he stood with an easy "Okay, okay, Larabie. I'll leave her alone, but I'm still curious."

She scoffed again, drawing my gaze. "Curious. Yeah. That's one word for it. Hell. You know you only want to be the best, so you **do** your best to smash everyone else into the ground."

My stomach slithered through the chair to the floor below and beyond as I looked at Jaxon, my hands gripping the chair arms.

Jaxon's expression held feigned innocence. "Me? Never." He gestured to the two of us. "Come on. Since I only have you for 30 minutes, I had better show a more detailed explanation of what I have in mind for security."

Janine stood, giving me a nudge on the elbow on her way up, and then fell into step beside him as I slowly stood and followed. "Is the Cafeteria going to work at all with you on the food? Or do we have to cater this damn thing?"

"Cater?" he repeated, disgusted. "And have Seifer shit bricks on lack of security? No thank you. I'll make the food myself if I have to."

Janine laughed. "Remind me not to eat anything."

My lips twitched upward, and I adjusted my hands on the folders as we made our way out of his office.

"Hey. I can cook," Jaxon protested.

"For 100 people?" Janine scoffed. "Please. Don't flatter yourself."

My smile widened and I slightly shook my head.

"What do you mean? All I need to do is up the ratio. It's a simple matter of mathematics."

Janine patted his shoulder. "You keep telling yourself that, kid."

Jaxon smirked and gave her a firm shove. Then he held back a step to move along beside me. I looked over at him with a blink of surprise. "So, it looks like I'll be working with you after all."

I smiled. "And you did it all by yourself, too. Congratulations."

He grimaced. "I would rather have had a better score than 65%, though. That's going on my permanent record."

Janine glared at him. "Will you stop bitching about your score. No one but Sally got more than what you did!"

I cringed and Jaxon halted.

Janine covered her mouth. "Oops."

I could feel Jaxon's gaze settle on me. _Oh man,_ I whined.

Then Jaxon's focus returned to Janine. "Why would I be the highest ranked if Sally's score was better?"

"Uh." Janine cleared her throat while sending me a glance and resting her hands on her hips. "Well, it's complicated."

It wasn't all that complicated, but Janine knew how sensitive I was to that particular 'joke'.

Jaxon crossed his arms. "Complicated. Yeah. I bet."

Janine actually smirked, and I inwardly groaned. "Only complicated because I have to figure out if I want to hack your pride at the cost of someone's peace of mind."

Jaxon lifted an eyebrow. "Intrigue isn't very nice, Larabie. You **know** I'll tenaciously ask questions and reason facts until I figure it out, so you might as well tell me."

I sighed. _Oh for heaven sake, Sally. Just say it. It's not that bad._ I looked up. "I wrote it."

His eyebrow twitched as he focused on me. "You wrote what?"

"The exam."

And the fact hit him square between the eyes, for his face went blank and then held shock and disbelief. Finally, he smirked. "Sure." He focused on Janine. "Good one. Now why is it complicated? Because Seifer gave Sally some leeway? We all know she's his favorite. He wouldn't want it on her record that she isn't as good as he says she is. It would make him look bad."

Janine's lips twitched. "You're an arrogant bastard, aren't you?"

His smirk vanished. "Excuse me?"

Janine shook her head and motioned to me. "She wrote the damn thing and you think she's pulling your leg?" She laughed, and I flushed as I lowered my gaze. "Come on, Crest. This is Sally Regal we're talking about. You can read her face like a book. Does it look like **that** face is joking?"

Jaxon moved his focus to me, examining my flushed face as I adjusted and readjusted my hold on the folders. I really hated being the center of attention.

"You... You **wrote** that monster?" he finally asked.

I barely nodded.

"Tell him why, Sal gal. It'll blow his mind," Janine prompted.

"Because..." I sighed and glanced up. His expression held shock. I focused on my shoes. "Because I got a perfect score on the other one," I whispered, "Seifer made me write a new one."

"...perfect...score...?"

Janine laughed. "And we're not talking 100%, Crest. Try 1 **20**." Janine pointed to me, making my entire body feel as if it flushed crimson. "She answered every damn question **correctly**. And some of the scenarios weren't even supposed to be possible!" She slapped her thigh with a hand as she laughed again. I twitched. "Hell. I wish I could've been there to see Seifer's face when he scored the damn thing."

Jaxon continued to stare, jaw actually slightly open--when I risked a quick glance. Then he gave my arm a squeeze. In surprise, I looked up to meet his smiling expression. "Congratulations, Sally. What a fantastic way to be initiated into Security. Especially under Seifer Almasy. From what I've heard, impressing him isn't very easy."

My face relaxed into a smile as I felt the tension and embarrassment lessen. "Thank you," I said softly.

He motioned me forward, Janine falling into step behind. "How did you decide to start working for Security?"

I softly giggled as I shook my head. "I didn't. Seifer decided he wanted me on his staff."

Jaxon continued to smile. "That certainly says something about you, doesn't it?"

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

Janine chuckled. "Don't get started, Crest. You know she's clueless."

I slightly frowned. "Why does everyone say that? Clueless about what?"

Janine stepped up to my right side and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, drawing my gaze. "Don't worry about it, Sal gal. It's not a bad thing. You're just really... oblivious to how damn good you are."

"But I only do what I can," I protested. "There are a **lot** of good SeeDs out there." I pointed to her. "You're really good at teaching Battle Theory in a way the kids can understand." I pointed to Jaxon. "You're really good at seeing things by simply observing so you can use that information for security or making people feel at ease." I motioned toward the general direction of Balamb Garden. "Zell makes learning fun and keeps the kids involved until class is over; even making them more apt to seek him out after class to ask questions and work harder. Then there's Ahndra and Marshal and Selphie and Seifer and Cmdr. Squall..." I pointed at myself while giving a shake of my head. "I'm no better than any of them."

Jaxon and Janine regarded me for a long silent moment before exchanging smiles and then **both** wrapping their arms around me to give me a hug at the same time. I giggled and squealed, flushing red as I protested with a "Stop it!" But they would never understand how good it made me feel to be so accepted after a lifetime of hiding in the background.
Chapter Ten:

The Closer Beginning

Rinoa couldn't arrange the bachelorette party for that weekend, but she **was** able to get everything worked out for the following, two weeks before the wedding. Then there would be the first rehearsal on Sunday and the final rehearsal the following Saturday with dinner directly after. Then it would be only a week before the wedding. I didn't mind the postponement of the party. It gave Zell and me a weekend to ourselves so that we could work on moving more of the major stuff to our new room at Balamb Garden. The bedroom set and dining room set were arriving today and we wanted to have a general idea of where everything was going before they got there.

"Do you need any help with that?" Zell asked.

I smiled over my shoulder at him as he easily hauled the cardboard 'stor-all' box of books to his shoulder. "I'm okay, sweetie. It's my 'I wish I were a civilian' wardrobe, so it's light."

"Okay." He nudged me out the door to my boxed up room. "You said the delivery guys'll be here at 13:00 hours?"

I nodded. Talking in military time was Zell's newest infatuation. He said it sounded cool. Like he was a spy. To me it just sounded adorable.

"And they're delivering the bed **and** the dining room sets?"

I nodded again, watching Zell's serious expression with a smile.

He gave a curt nod. "Good. I'm tired of sleeping on the floor."

Zell had boxed up, moved, and somewhat organized his stuff in the apartment the week before. Apparently he'd promised his room to one of his senior candidates when they graduated. They'd aced their Field Exam and graduated at rank 9. So, for the past week, Zell had been sleeping on the floor in our new home "getting it warmed up for us," as he said.

"I would have asked Janine to borrow her roll away cot," I reminded.

"And not have a reason for your backrubs?" Zell's face twisted. "Tch! Yeah, right!"

I wrinkled my nose at him and gave his arm a nudge with my elbow. _Three weeks, Sally. Three very long weeks._ I wasn't sure I could make it, but I knew I had to do my best. Even Zell was looking forward to "this shnazzy shindig" as he'd said once. The reason being we were putting so much hard work into it. I was looking forward to it, too, it's just that every day closer to our wedding made me wish even more that it had already come and gone.

You know?

Zell nudged me back, his usual boyish smile making him look so adorable and 'hot' that I would have gladly dropped my box of 'civvies' for a nice long--

"I heard the guys are putting together a bachelor party for me next weekend," he told me.

I blinked, smile vanishing as memories of walking in on my brother's second bachelor party flamed my cheeks red. I looked ahead. "That's nice," I said softly. _Now, tell me again why that tradition started?_

"I told them that if they get me a stripper," Zell said in my ear, causing a squeak as I startled and looked over at him and into his twinkling dark blue eyes, "I'll club 'em with their own limbs."

A smile couldn't help but come. I mean, he was so... so... Zell. And it was really amazing how he knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Well, of course there were times when he was a little clueless and said something that I took the wrong way. But I didn't remember those times. I mean, he would apologize when he found out that it hadn't come across the way he'd wanted. That is, when I would actually confess to having my feelings hurt rather than keeping it inside. Then he would try again, all the while making sure I wasn't mad or hurt or anything like that.

Being married to Zell would be as wonderful as being his friend and girlfriend and fiancée.

Zell adjusted his hold on the box on his right shoulder and reached up to tenderly pinch my chin, just like his mother always did, still smiling that wonderfully soft smile that made me shiver and swoon. Just like in the movies. I wrinkled my nose at him, my eyes crinkling at the corners the same as they twinkled.

"I love you," I told him.

His ears reddened, but he said "I love you, too, kitten," before his smile grew boyish and drop-dead cute. "Can we make out a little before the delivery guys get there?"

_Okay!_ was what my heart **and** mind screamed as my face flamed and I looked ahead. And don't think saying 'no' was easy! Being around Zell and **not** making out was the hard part. I was always afraid that once I started kissing him things would get out of control, like they had at Winhill. And almost at the apartment before. I didn't want to ruin everything. I wanted to show him how much I cared by sticking to our agreement to wait.

"I don't know if that would be such a good idea, Zell," I admitted softly. Even though I **so** wanted to.

Zell stepped close--oh so close--and wrapped his arm around me to pull me in beside him. He kissed my temple. "Yeah. I know. We're both kinda hot and heavy for the wedding, huh?"

And I could just die admitting how true it was, but I nodded. Confessing something like that was important. So he could know. So I could know that he knew. So that we both knew that we were both eager. _Oh man._ But it was okay. Mom **said** so. I cleared my throat and confessed, "You don't know **how** many times I've wanted to sneak to your room with my bags packed and elope." And **that** made me feel as if I would melt then and there.

Zell chuckled. "Ditto." He kissed my temple again just as we arrived outside our new room--well, in three weeks it would be 'ours'. Then he pulled his key card out and unlocked the door to usher me inside.

There were labeled boxes in almost every room, although the kitchen supplies that Zell had been able to bring from his room were put away. He hadn't brought any of his furnishings, waiting instead for our new stuff from Deling City. So there were books in boxes, posters rolled up and set on top of boxes, videos in boxes waiting for the living room set we hadn't decided on, and his computer and computer desk--which was the only piece of furniture in the room.

"Are these duty books or leisure books?" he asked as he stepped further into the apartment.

I looked around the cluttered rooms with a silly smile. It still looked as wonderful as ever, clutter or no clutter, and I could still see scenes of our up-and-coming life together. I sighed. _It's happening. It's really happening._ My eyes focused on Zell as he straightened after setting the box of books on top of one of his boxes. Our gazes met, and he sent me a cute little smirk before coming over to get the box of clothes from me.

"I'll go put this in our room," he said, and the 'our' felt better than anything.

I giggled but didn't trust myself to say anything but nonsense. Zell chuckled and turned away, moving through the dining room to disappear into the bedroom. I looked around the apartment again, rotating in a circle as I dreamed of where to put what. Then I had to tell myself it wasn't a dream. It was a plan because it was really happening.

"We better move these boxes in the dining room out of the way," Zell said as he returned from the bedroom.

I faced him, still with the dreamy smile, and sighed. "Hm?" Zell chuckled, shaking his head as he came up to me-- _Wow he smells good._

"I said we better move these boxes out of the way. They won't be able to put the dining set in if there's a bunch of crap there."

I couldn't answer. I could only smile up at him and occasionally wrinkle my nose or crinkle my eyes.

Zell laughed and gently pinched my nose. "Stop that, Meg, or we're not going to get any work done." He took a hand and gave it a squeeze, still smiling that boyish quirk as he pulled me over toward the dining room. "Come on. Let's move these boxes to one side, so they'll have a place to put the table. **Then** we can make goo-goo eyes at each other."

I giggled. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I just can't believe this is happening. I get caught up in dreamland more often now." I heaved a box of books with an "oomph" and carefully moved over to the far left side of the dining area.

Zell followed a little after with another one, setting it on top of mine. "I know what you mean." Then he faced me and nudged me toward another set of boxes. "Meg, come on," he laughed. "You keep staring at me like that and I'm gonna take steps."

I flushed. "Sorry. I haven't seen you much lately, so I find myself watching you more." And I turned to give him a hug, resting my cheek against his dark blue t-shirt with a sigh. "At least one of your candidates has graduated now," I whispered.

His arms surrounded me as he said, "Yeah. Tell me about it. It's like a mini-vacation." Then he momentarily tightened his hold before gently pushing back. He kissed my nose. "Now **come on**. Let's get these things moved, so we can finish bringing more of your boxes over, so we can have some make-out time before the delivery guys get here."

I flushed and giggled and nodded, my head swimming in happy euphoria that would have made even the heartiest of romantics overdose.

Unfortunately, the delivery guys were on time and it took Zell and I a little longer than we thought it would to get things ready for them. So, we didn't get to make-out at all. Which was probably safer anyway.

Then, we were so excited with the new furniture that we started rearranging things before going into town to buy bookcases and end tables and lamps and... well, you get the picture. We spent most of the night that Saturday putting together those same bookcases and end tables and then arranging reading books and textbooks into just the right place. Zell didn't walk me to my room until about two o'clock in the morning, and then we were too tired to do much more than kiss--nothing earth shattering--before both of us stumbled off to bed to dream of married life.

That next day we were organizing RSVPs from the invitations, finalizing seating plans for the dinner at Balamb Garden's Reception, making sure Francine had enough food and drink, and then picking final designs for the fern and flower decorations for the ceremony. We only got to sneak away to the Training Center once that Sunday on the pretense of making sure seating arrangements were going to work out right. Then we hurried over to the Forbidden Area and got some alone time for holding and kissing.

It was just what both of us needed in the midst of a hectic weekend and a coming hectic couple of weeks.

Then it was back to work as usual for both of us, with the understanding that we would cut our workouts until after the wedding and the honeymoon. Of course, I only gave up the time when Zell suggested we get together in the evenings instead for dinner and talk. Believe me, I couldn't agree fast enough.

The week before the bachelorette/bachelor parties sped by in a whirlwind of work, wedding plans, reception plans, honeymoon 'okays', and dreams of what being a 'wife' actually meant. My mom and I spent a lot of time talking on the phone, in fact. We didn't talk much about Zack's elopement with Quistis, as we'd both given up talking sense into him, but she gave me wonderful advice on what to expect and what not to expect.

I'd rather not talk about it. ...ahem.

Next thing I knew it was Friday evening and Zell kissed me good-bye moments before I was practically stuffed into the car with Selphie, Janine, and--shock of all amazing shocks--Ahndra while Rinoa giggled and took off down the road. I could barely fully close the door.

The bachelorette party itself passed in a blur of laughter--smirks from Ahndra--horribly dirty jokes, stories about guys I'd rather not have heard, and then sappy movies where the hero **always** got the girl. I don't think we unrolled our sleeping bags until three or four in the morning. And even then Rinoa, Selphie, and me continued to talk about 'girl stuff'--occasionally colored by a scoff or slight chuckle from Janine. Ahndra didn't do much but watch and listen, although I really appreciated her being there.

The next morning after breakfast--brunch, really--we laughed over coffee and bad cookies we'd made the night before while talking about the wedding and the reception and the dresses and then the honeymoon Zell finalized the previous Thursday. Ahndra offered some surprising do's and don'ts as to places to see and places not to see because of security risks, but mostly she was quiet and observing more than anything. Janine confessed that she tried to hire a stripper but that both Rinoa and Ahndra nipped it in the bud. Selphie protested that she hadn't even heard about it, and then we all laughed--I could have sworn I heard a soft chuckle from Ahndra, too--and went on talking about nonsense.

Zell called some time during the laughter to say "Hello" and let me know that anything stupid had been cut to the quick. They'd mostly hung out at the half a dozen or so bars in Deling City before crashing at the hotel. Zell confessed that he might have kissed a girl that looked like me, but then Marshal had shouted from the background that it had actually been a street lamp. I told the girls and they all howled anew, even Ahndra. Well, she smiled wider anyway.

Jaxon hadn't been able to make it to the bachelor party, something about a security issue, but Zell said he, Squall, Irvine, Marshal, and Seifer--yes! Seifer!--found enough trouble to get into to make the night fun enough. "I'll tell you all about it when I see you tomorrow at the rehearsal," he'd promised, and then voiced he loved me and said that he and the guys were going to go to either Timber or Deling Garden to cause more trouble.

I felt as if I were already married and the 'mister' had just checked in with the 'missus' before hanging out with the guys.

The phone call and the resulting expression on my face of course led to more sappy discussions that had Janine protesting throughout. I noticed she had a twinkle in her eye, though, hinting that she more than likely thought about her own 'lover-boy'. Ahndra never once protested the romantic nonsense discussed. She only quietly sat on the couch or at the table--depending upon where the discussion was happening--and listened without comment while sipping her coffee.

It didn't seem as if she **wasn't** enjoying herself.

Then the evening had come and Selphie was helping Rinoa set up the piano for my performance that evening while Janine and Ahndra set up the chairs in Rinoa's large living room. Believe it or not, nervousness couldn't make it through the heavy fog of happiness and expectation to being married and seeing Zell the following day. To be honest, I think the fact that I thought about him and what we were getting ready to experience together is what helped me perform the song "better than the original artist!", as Selphie and Rinoa agreed after the fact.

And I don't remember singing.

That evening, though perhaps I should say 'early the next morning', I snuck out of Rinoa's bedroom and took up the phone to call Zell's mobile. He answered with a softly spoken, "Hey, kitten," which had me aglow.

I lowered myself into the corner of the couch and brought my feet up as I smiled and whispered, "Hey, handsome. Did you have fun today?"

"Yeah. It was great to hang out and cause trouble. Felt like old times."

"Did you and Seifer get along okay?"

"He was the designated driver, and you know what? He's a lot funnier when I'm buzzed off my ass."

I softly giggled. "I'm glad you had fun."

Zell chuckled. "How was life with the Trouble Brigade?"

"A lot of laughing. A lot of bad jokes and horrible stories. And a lot of fun." I traced a pattern on the back of the couch, watching the action of my finger with a wistful gaze. "It's been **so** much fun, Zell. I never thought being in a group could be like this."

"I'm glad, kitten. It's no fun to hide in the corner all your life, huh?"

I shook my head. "But thanks to you, I'm out of the corner."

Zell chuckled. "No, Meg. You did it yourself. I'll take a little credit, but not all of it. Remember, **you** had to get the ball rolling."

I smiled. "Uh-huh." I released a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I really, really love you, Zell."

I heard him release a deep breath before he said, "And I really, really love you, Sally. Now go get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow for the rehearsal."

"Alright. Good night, sweetie."

"G'night, kitten."

I clicked off the phone and then stared down at it, softly smiling before hugging it to my chest and squeezing my eyes shut tight. _I'm getting married to Zell Dincht!_

It was the **ultimate** Happily Ever After.
Chapter Eleven:

Rehearsals of Living

I released a deep breath as I crossed my arms. I glared at the toes of my shoes, my legs stretched out as they were while sitting on one of the couches in the SeeD train car. If it had been up to me, I would have made Jaxon go to Balamb Garden himself to check in with Security and pick up his special security passes. Seifer made them a 'must have' for the rehearsals **and** the wedding/reception in two weeks. But Sally had asked, and I'd learned a long time ago that it was damn near impossible to say 'no' to her. I figured it was something about the way she asked me to do things. Sincere and... I don't know. Innocent, or something.

It was **sexy**.

I reluctantly smiled, and for what must have been the 1000th time that day, I started thinking about the honeymoon. Sorry, guys, but I couldn't help it. I mean, damn. I'd been playing it straight for almost 9 months, and every day I wasn't with her made the times that I **was** with her all the harder. You know?

And then when we'd worked together on setting up the apartment? I scrubbed at my scalp and again tightly crossed my arms. It was going to be 'home'. A home like my ma had before my dad died. A home like Pop and Mom had. A home I hadn't ever thought about before meeting Sally. And, boy, did it feel great to think about it. I mean, two weeks from now I'd have a girl all to myself.

She'd be mine.

Not like a wristwatch or a pair of shoes or anything. That's just stupid. But... Hell. I don't know. Sally'd be a... a rock, I guess. Something that never changed. Well, not really 'changed', but was **there**. You know? Something I could count on. Yeah. It felt good to know that. Like it was... Like it was safe. Like how I felt when I knew Balamb Garden waited for us to lay the smack down and then get back home. Now I would have it every day. After work. On the weekends. In the mornings. At night... I smiled. Yeah. I'd be able to just roll over and have something to hold on to. To remind myself why I put up with people's shit every day.

It was for people like her, and damn if that didn't make me feel gold all over.

I shook my head, rubbing at my neck as the train pulled into Deling Station. I stood and left the SeeD car, the imaginings of nights and days with Sally following on my heels as I made my way down the short hallway and then out of the train--Jaxon waited on the station platform, and he looked like hell. It was early, sure. After all, we all had jobs to do at our Gardens and we wanted to miss as little as possible. But it wasn't early enough for him to look like what he did. He wasn't shaved, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair looked as if he'd taken turns pulling at it in different places.

_Shit._ I was getting better at things like this, with Sally's help and all the conversations we'd had to have about the sex issue, but... Geez. It would have been nice to have Sally along on this one. I was way out of my league. But I was a SeeD. And I was his friend. And if I could help, I had to do my damndest to get it done.

I stepped down from the train to meet him on the platform. "Hey, Jax, you--"

He stepped past me with a muttered, "Don't ask," and then boarded the train.

I released a quick breath as I stared after him, debating just how much of an ass I wanted to make of myself. Then I shrugged with a 'what the hell' and stepped aboard after him. I entered the corridor just as he stepped into the SeeD cabin, the door closing behind him with a sound that almost seemed to shout 'leave me alone!' I scrubbed at my neck again before mumbling a "Sorry, Jax. Can't." and stepping in after him.

Sally would've never forgiven me if I hadn't tried to do something.

I **did** give him his space, though, sitting on the opposite couch and lacing my fingers behind my head as I crossed my ankle on my knee before speaking. When I focused on Jaxon, I noticed him looking down at a chain while holding something metal in his fingers. It almost looked like ID tags, but there was something more like a locket, too. And the expression on his face almost kept me from asking about it.

"Ja--"

"Dincht. Let it be."

And I'd never heard him say something like that before. Not the words. Nah. I'd heard that lots of times. But it was **how** he said them. Actually had me hesitate, thinking he might beat the crap out of me. _Hm. Maybe if I attacked from a different side._

I crossed my arms. "Why the blow-off for the bachelor weekend?"

Jaxon slightly cringed as he tucked the chain back inside his uniform shirt. "I had some reports to finish."

I leaned back in the seat. "Try again." _Sorry, dude. 'No shit' policy, you know._

Jaxon frowned at me. "I couldn't get away, Zell. Deling is like that. Last minute emergencies. Shit hitting the fan causing fights. Disciplinary actions--"

"The only shit hitting the fan, Jax, is what you're pulling right now. Hanging out with the boys and me woulda done you some good. Maybe even gotten you outta your head for a little bit."

Jaxon looked away. "I wasn't ready for **that** particular journey out of my head."

"Yeah, well, maybe. Maybe not. But it sure as hell doesn't help to hide from them, either."

Jaxon glowered at me again. "I told you I'd be GF free for the wedding, so back off!"

And the red flag had me lifting my hands. "Okay, Jax. Okay." _But Sally'll just be asking you at the rehearsal._ Maybe she'd have better luck.

Jaxon ignored me the entire trip to Balamb Garden, only acknowledging anything I said about the rehearsal with a grunt. Half way to Balamb I surrendered and dug my mobile out of my pocket to hit the speed-dial for Sally's phone number.

"Hey, handsome."

I grinned and leaned back, one hand holding the back of my head. "Hey, sexy. Who all is there? Besides the Trouble Brigade."

Sally giggled. Then she listed off, "Cmdr. Squall, SLC Seifer, Ahndra, Marshal, Rinoa, Selphie, Janine..."

"Mom and Pop?"

"No. They won't be here until the final rehearsal."

"Shoot. That sucks." I cleared my throat while sending a glance to Jaxon. During my talk with Sally, his expression had begun to shift green bit by bit. His glare had also turned to something more... painful, I guess. "Heard anything from Quis and Zack?"

Sally sighed, drawing back my focus. "No," she said morosely.

"Now, kitten. Don't mope. We can record the wedding and receptions no problem. They'll see it."

"But I wanted them to **be** here."

"Sure. I know. But, well, your brother's a self-centered jerk."

Sally reluctantly laughed. "Now you sound like one of his ex-wives."

I grinned. "You laughed, didn'tcha? You're hot when you laugh--"

Jaxon bolted to his feet and quickly left the cabin. My smile faded as I stared at the closed door.

"Zell? Sweetie? What's the matter?"

I lowered my stare to my shoes. "Hey, Sally, Jax isn't doing too great."

"Oh no," she breathed.

"And I can't get him to talk about it. He just bites my head off."

Sally released a deep sigh. "Zell, when he's ready to talk about it, he will. All **you** had to do was let him know you were ready to listen. He'll remember that."

I slightly nodded as I rubbed at my scalp. "Okay. Yeah. Sure."

She sighed again. "Consider yourself hugged, sweetie."

I softly smiled and opened my eyes. "Thanks, Meg." I adjusted my position in the chair. "So, nervous?" And the rest of the trip was her voice and laughter. You know. The good stuff.

I didn't see Jaxon until the train arrived in Balamb. When Sally and I said our "see you in a bit"s, and the gushy stuff that actually made me feel 10 feet tall. I left the SeeD cabin to find him standing nose-to-nose with the exit door as he waited for the train to come to a complete stop. I hated to admit it, but the guy looked like a caged animal. It was the hardest thing in the world to let it lie and not ask him what the hell was going on, but Sally's words kept running through my brain. Sure Jaxon and me had a 'no shit' policy, but this was different. Any idiot could see that.

The door opened and Jaxon stepped out. I paused a second before giving a shake of my head, a deep breath, and then following after him. I'd originally intended to walk to Garden, but Jaxon headed straight to the car rental and rented the SeeD car. His words were rushed and it looked like he even had acquired a body tic. _Crap._ The guy was about to go through the roof, and I think I knew why.

The rehearsal.

The rehearsal and the upcoming wedding were probably bringing back every memory and moment with his dead fiancée. Things he probably didn't want to remember. Things that ate him up inside the same as Squall's past had eaten at him. And just like then, I couldn't do a damn thing but be as supportive as possible. It sucked.

I stepped up and took the keys from him with a curt, "I'll drive," before passing to the car. "The way your hands are shaking, we'll die on our way there."

Jaxon didn't say anything. I hadn't expected him to. He only silently followed, climbing into the passenger side of the car to slam the door after him. Then he rested his elbow on the sill and partially covered his face with a hand to his forehead as the other fisted at his knee. I started the car and headed out, doing my best not to say something that would make the situation worse. I felt like an ass just sitting there in the quiet when I had this itch that there was **something** I could say. But I didn't want to send his day completely to hell, so I just shut up.

Sally met us at the parking lot looking awesome in a sleeveless dress that was all light and flowy... or something. It was a light pink that had different colors of large flowers in the background that made her look like a walking flower garden. Very hot. Very 'yowza'. Especially with her smile and her eyes twinkling at me as she watched me get out of the car. _Sorry, Jax,_ I thought for a fraction of a second before drawing her close and giving her a nice long kiss. _...dude...._

I lifted my head and grinned at her. Her cheeks were flushed--my **favorite** color!--and her eyes were to die for. "Hey, sexy. How's my girl?"

"Wonderful." Her smile crinkled her eyes at the corners before she stepped back and took my hand, lacing my fingers with hers. "Thank you for calling from the train."

"Sure, kitten. I was bored anyway."

She softly laughed and shook her head, but when her focus was drawn by Jaxon stepping out of the car, her smile faded a little. "Good morning, Jaxon," she offered hesitantly. "I'm sorry it's so early. Seifer wouldn't let me have an evening rehearsal."

Jaxon didn't meet her gaze as he responded with a barely audible, "It's fine," as he passed to the sub-corridor that led to the main.

Sally watched him go before focusing on me, her lips turned downward as her eyes showed sadness and concern. "I... I hope he's going to be okay."

I drew her into a half-hug as we followed after him more slowly. "Like you said, Meg, when he's ready to talk, he will." _I just hope it's before the wedding._ Sally deserved the perfect one.

And the first rehearsal went less than perfect.

The soundboard for Rinoa's two songs--processional and candle-lighting section--fried a circuit, so Rinoa had to sing without any help. I think Sally called it acappella, or something. It was okay, but it sounded kinda weird to have a song with no other music but her voice.

The flowers for the aisle had been eaten some time during the night by an escaped creature from the main section of the T.C., so Sally was near tears, Selphie was mortified and had to leave the rehearsal to rush to the florist for more, and Seifer was pissed that someone hadn't locked the main doors to the T.C. after using it.

Janine was her usual smart-ass self and chose that time to focus on Jaxon, who bit her head off with a comment that had them nearly come to blows. Which, of course, set Seifer off and had him banishing both Janine and Jaxon to separate sections of the area. In fact, Janine was exiled to the main section of the T.C. with an order to "cool off" via beating the crap out of the beasties inside.

Squall, Sally, and my part of the ceremony was the only perfection and put a small smile back on Sally's face. But I noticed Jaxon looked very yellow as he stood off to one side. In fact, it looked as if he'd hurl any second. Squall noticed, too, and only had Sally and me rehearse our cues a couple times before dismissing everyone and reminding them about the final rehearsal that next Saturday.

Jaxon bolted out of the T.C. with a muttered comment about going back to Deling alone and leaving Sally, Squall, Seifer, and me staring after him.

I released a slow and deep breath, giving Sally's hand in mine a gentle squeeze while thinking to myself _Don't ask, guys._ I wouldn't have known how to tell them. Luckily, they didn't ask. "Come on, Sally. Let's go get some lunch."

She nodded and then followed beside me from the T.C.

I felt an ass for making Jaxon do this, but something told me it was the best thing. I don't know. Something about facing our pasts so we could move on. I don't think Jaxon ever had the chance to do that. Now was that chance, and if he couldn't do it now. . . . Sally stepped a little closer, so I released her hand and draped my arm around her shoulders to pull her against me. I kissed her temple. "He'll be okay, kitten."

I just hoped I wasn't telling her my first lie.

~*~

ring-ring

ring-ring

I groaned and rolled over, a blind hand reaching up at the head of my bed for my phone that Seifer made me keep near my person at all times.

ring-ring

ring-ring

"All right, all right," I mumbled as I sat up, brushing my hair from my face as I fumbled with the phone to hit the appropriate button. "Regal," I croaked.

"How do I make it stop?" came a near frantic, gruff voice.

My eyes snapped open as my mind woke to full instinctual awareness. "Make what stop, Jaxon?" I prompted gently, remembering how horribly tortured he had looked at the rehearsal three days ago. "What's the matter?"

"I keep seeing her. They won't leave me alone. The only way I can sleep is with the GF, but I can't do that to her. I can't forget her. I loved her. She should be remembered, but how do I make it stop. I don't want to remember her dying... the blood... the blasts... oh Hyne... she's dead..."

His panic and total and complete desperation had me swallowing back tears while fighting my own version of panic. "Jaxon," I said calmly, "Jaxon, tell me what happened."

"It's the same damn dream," he rasped. "Getting ready to give her the locket. The first blasts and the pain. Seeing her body and not being able to do a damn thing to... she died right there. In my arms. ...whispering my name."

I heard a choked sob and covered my mouth with a hand as the tears ran down my face. _Oh Jaxon... What can I say...?_

"I wasn't there in time to save her!" he said suddenly, voice harsh and heavy with guilt and rage. "Two inches! Two damn inches and I could have shielded her body from the blast!"

"Jaxon, then she would be where you are," I reminded carefully. "Blaming herself for not saving your life."

I heard another choked sob and rough collection of breaths. I bit my lip. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but I didn't know what else to say. I closed my eyes and rubbed at my forehead, pulling at any words... "Jaxon," I said softly, "it's horrible that she's gone, and I can hear how much you miss her. How much it hurts to remember her, but you've got her inside."

"Inside?" he hissed. "What the hell good is inside when I want her **here**!"

"It's all you have," I confessed, and I could almost feel the cringe he must have done. "Jaxon, I... I can't make the pain go away. None of us can. But... But if you remember her every day, remember the happy things and the laughter and even the fights you might have had, it's better. Every day it gets better. I just know it does. It has to or else she died for nothing, and she wouldn't want that to happen. **You** wouldn't want that to happen."

"...I just want it to stop..."

"I know, Jaxon," I whispered, wiping more tears from cheeks. "So do I, and I know she would, too. She wouldn't ever want you to go through this, but you've got to try. It's better at the end; you just have to fight your way there."

Silence fell, and I couldn't tell if the line had gone dead or--

"Sally... I can't do this by myself," he choked out.

I shook my head. "Jaxon, you don't have to. Zell and me... We're right here. All you have to do is talk to us. Any time. Any day. Anywhere." I moved the phone to my other ear. "Even if you just want to talk to someone about her, so that you don't forget the good times. Just call us up or send me an email or anything. We wouldn't ever expect you to do something like this by yourself."

Silence descended again, but then I heard a deep exhalation of breath that sounded so much like someone setting something aside. Or getting a second wind to move ahead on a journey that was harder than they thought it'd be. It gave me a wave of relief and hope.

"It will be okay, Jaxon," I promised, and I could hear the tears in my voice still. "It will." And I would do everything I could to make that promise come true.

~*~

"Are you **sure** he's coming?" I whispered to Zell as Rinoa sang her song for the processional. They were testing the soundboard equipment.

Zell focused on me with a comforting smile. "He's coming, Meg. I promise. He said he's doing better since you talked to him Wednesday. Says someone talked him into starting up a hobby, too."

"Oh. Okay." I focused ahead, sitting as we were in the chairs of the front row in the T.C. waiting for Rinoa's sound check to be completed.

He gave me a nudge and placed a kiss on my lips when I turned my head to face him. I giggled and then quickly shielded my mouth when everyone looked our direction. "Zell," I whispered in protest. And I saw my mom and dad exchange 'Isn't that cute?' smiles as they sat beside Zell in the same row of chairs.

Zell chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me back against him as Rinoa continued singing and Squall shook his head with a smirk and Seifer scoffed and looked away. I flushed and softly laughed but snuggled into the embrace and enjoyed the moment. The next week was going to be a wild ride in last minute check-ups and adjustments to plans, food, lists, and everything. There was no telling when we'd have the chance to just sit and snuggle.

Rinoa finished the song to the applause of a single person entering from the back. Everyone turned to look and I smiled and lifted a hand to wave as Jaxon sauntered in. He definitely looked better. Still a little strained, and his smile my direction was forced, but he didn't look green or yellow. That had to account for something.

"Yo, Jax! You're late," Zell chastised. "Quit picking up on all the women and get somewhere on time for once."

Chuckles sounded from everyone, with only a slight smirk Jaxon's response. I elbowed Zell gently in the stomach as I said, "Hi, Jaxon. I'm glad you could make it. We're having dinner at the Balamb Hotel afterwards."

Jaxon came to sit down beside me, offering me a very small smile that didn't lighten the strain around his lips or the expression in his eyes. "Sorry, Sally. I don't think I'll be able to make it."

And I knew why.

I nodded. "That's all right," I said softly, and I hoped my expression asked him if he needed to talk.

He looked away, so I couldn't tell one way or the other.

"Okay, Zell. You and Sally are up," Squall reminded, gesturing us forward. "We'll run through a short version of the vows and the exchange of rings and candle-lighting. Then we'll send everyone to their marks and start from the beginning. Got it?"

Everyone nodded and voiced their agreements.

Compared to the previous rehearsal, this one went as smooth as silk.

I didn't trip on my own feet for the processional or recessional, which had me smiling from ear to ear and my cheeks flushed and my expression happier than I could have imagined. And the look on Zell's face as he watched me? It looked as if he'd been clubbed with a 'happy stick' and he was left to wonder and wander. What did I do when I stood beside him? I giggled, of course.

The songs sounded wonderful and had me actually looking forward to surprising Zell with my own performance of the second one. That, of course, ushered me to a daydream of his possible reactions while I recited our vows and exchanged rings--pretend rings--and then went to light the candles that symbolized a bunch of stuff I couldn't remember.

Jaxon didn't look yellow, only a little pale, and so he and Janine weren't at each other's throats. The flowers Selphie had put on rush order were still there, so Selphie was happy and Seifer was happy because nothing had gotten out of control. I was happy, so Mom was happy, and that made me happier, which filled the entire Training Center with a cloud of euphoria that I think settled on everyone in a positive way. Why do I think that? Because Ahndra, Marshal, and Seifer were all smiling as Rinoa played the recessional on the piano and Zell and I walked out.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of looking toward Jaxon's position behind us to notice his face a little on the yellow side. Zell noticed my look back and looked also, mumbling a "Oh crap," when he saw Jaxon's expression. Zell and I couldn't do anything about it, though, because Squall and Seifer called us back to give us the final list of do's and don'ts and to reiterate how important the security passes were for the wedding the following evening. When Seifer started talking more about the security, I whispered my intention to Zell and he nodded.

I stealthily broke away from the group to enter the Training Center, where I'd seen Jaxon slip. "Jaxon?" I whispered as I hesitated just inside. "Jaxon? Where are you?" There was no answer, so I moved farther in, looking this way and that--I found him off the path pounding his head against a tree with a little more force than I would have liked. I rushed up to him and took hold of his arm as I protested, "Jaxon! What are you doing?"

He twitched and lifted his head--there was already a bruise forming beneath the bright red--to focus on me with blue eyes darker than normal. "Hm? Oh this?" He patted the tree and forced a weak smile. "I'm just bonding with nature." He focused on the tree and gave it's sturdy trunk another pat. "Hello, tree. Nice to meet you." And then he bonked his head against it with a **clunk** before sending me a wavering smile.

My expression must have said 'I don't believe you.' because his smile relaxed a little and he turned to lean back against the tree instead. "I'm doing okay, Sally. I guess I'm being a bit creative on trying to get the memories to behave." Jaxon tucked his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat as he looked down to the ground at his feet. "I didn't mean to call you that night," he admitted, sending me sidelong glances. "I was trying for Janine. Or was it Zell? I don't remember. Suppose it doesn't matter."

"It was okay. Really," I assured. After all, two in the morning could make some people put you on their 'kill on sight' list.

He nodded. "I know, and I appreciate it." He released a deep breath. "I needed that 'it's going to be okay'."

I softly smiled. "We always do. About anything."

He very slightly nodded again. Then he sent me a glance. "Did you know I've been junctioning a GF off and on these two years?"

My jaw dropped as the words 'magic poisoning' and 'regulations' clashed together. "No," I whispered. And to put his job and his life on the line hinted at just how much of a horrible image her death was.

Jaxon released a deep and slow breath. "Yep." He looked up, his focus moving to the heavy steel doors to the Training Center's outer 'sanctum'. "It was very much like a drug trip. To finally float away from this horrible reality, with it just whispering in the background. I could handle that without a problem, but..." Jaxon moved his gaze to meet mine. "But Zell made me see Elle deserved more than that. She deserved a **lot** more. But I couldn't give that to her when I was fading in and out of reality, choosing a half-lived/half-remembered one for the one that made me who I was." He looked away again, swallowing hard before admitting, "and damn if it isn't the hardest walk of my life."

I bit the inside of my lip a moment before stepping closer and resting a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Jaxon," I whispered.

He nodded and lowered his gaze, bringing up a hand to pull a chain from where it hid, safely nestled against the skin of his chest. "Yeah. So am I."

I looked down to the ID tags and the small silver locket shaped like a tear drop and quietly asked, "Are those hers?"

Jaxon nodded again, this time taking the chain from around his neck. He stared down at them for another moment before undoing the chain's clasp and freeing the locket from it. He offered it to me.

I blinked and looked up at him. "I c-couldn't!"

A tear gathered and escaped as he slightly smiled. "It's okay, Sally. Elle would want you to have it. As a 'thank you' to you and Zell for saving what little life I had left."

I lowered glimmering eyes to the small locket resting in his palm and very hesitantly reached out to take it. "Thank you," I whispered.

"No, Sally." I looked up to meet his gaze just as he shook his head. "No, Sally. Thank **you**."
Chapter Twelve:

Happily Ever After

I wasn't supposed to see the bride the day of the wedding. _'It's bad luck!'_ Selphie had screeched through the door, me on the other side trying to push it open. _'Come on! I want to give Meg a good-bye kiss before going to get Jax from Deling! Lemme in!'_ _'No! You'll kiss plenty after you're married, now git!'_

I chuckled and gave a shake of my head as I stepped forward into Deling Garden. The last class for the day was in-session, so most of the 'attitude' was gone. There were the occasional SeeDs along the way--very few of those--but we barely exchanged salutes and nods as they went about the final duties of preparation for the Reception there later in the evening. Sometimes I wondered if the Instructors felt as if they'd been written off from the rest of the Network, but I knew Squall did his damndest to make up for their shitty placement. Benefits at Deling Garden rocked.

The security office bustled more than usual, and occasionally I thought I heard the name 'Regal' when one Security Officer passed off an assignment to another. That made me smile. I mean, come on. My timid little Sally Regal had people hoppin' all the way over here. It was great, especially when I knew she was clueless as to how much power she held.

It meant she wouldn't abuse it.

I knocked on Jaxon's door and then entered--and immediately stopped. "...the hell?"

Weapons of all description and style hung from the walls, rested on the chairs, or in the shelves of the bookcases. And I mean **every** kind. There were crossbows, polearms, hammers, axes... you name it and they were there.

Jaxon looked up from his desk. "Dincht." He checked his watch. "Hm. Time flies when you're having a hellish day." He motioned me in. "I'll need another moment, and then we can go."

"No prob." I closed the door after me and stepped up to his desk, picking up an ugly misshapen lump of metal with a wooden handle sticking out of it. It had been resting on a stack of papers to the right, probably as a paperweight, and barely resembled anything. "What the hell is this?"

Jaxon lifted his gaze from the reports on his desk and focused on the glob of metal with an immediate smirk. "Think of it as where my life was before. Two years of that."

I turned it over in my hands as Jaxon stood and made his way to a rack above his door. I faced him in time to watch him bring down a beautifully crafted halberd. "Dude. That's **awesome**." I set down the hunk of twisted metal and moved to stand beside him.

" **This** is where I'm headed." Jaxon closely, and almost fondly, examined the weapon before focusing on me. "You and Sally were so right, Zell. About Elle and not letting myself forget her. She's a part of me I don't want to lose. It hurts like hell, but I'm going to remember her. She deserves that much." Jaxon focused again on the double-bladed weapon in his hands. "So, I'm putting my time to good use. I'm **making** things rather than destroying them. And, believe it or not, the immersion in the craft seems to help."

He put the halberd back up and continued to stare at it as I watched him. Then I chucked him on the arm, drawing his focus. "Just remember no one's expecting you to do this cold."

One side of Jaxon's lips twitched. "Thanks, Zell."

"Sure." I gestured over my shoulder to his desk. "You done?"

"Basically." He moved to his desk and retrieved a pair of file folders as well as his jacket. Then we stepped from his office. He turned the folders in to the Head of Deling security and then shrugged into his jacket as we made our way out toward the main corridor.

"I heard from Sally yesterday that you got in at Balamb for sure. Squall gave his okay."

Jaxon lightly smirked. "Yep. It only took a year."

"Tch! It would've taken less than that if Seifer'd ever gotten those other transfer requests. Sally told me there's no file for them ever being submitted. Not even the Base Commander here got them."

"It seems as if someone wanted me to stay."

"Yeah, and that's got Seifer pissed. He's had Sally drop everything but tracking down the travel history on those transfer requests."

"Man. I didn't mean to give her more work," Jaxon said, voice and expression both regretful.

I grinned. "Don't sweat it, Jax. Meg loves it. You should hear her tell stories of some of the things she does." I laughed. "She doesn't think they're 'stories'. She thinks she's just telling me about her day, but damn. You get her talking about something that happened at work and her eyes light up and her face gets all bright and pretty--not that she isn't damn hot already--and I'm on the edge of my seat until she's done. One of these days I'm gonna get those stories down on paper and put them in a magazine somewhere. We'll be rich."

Jaxon's easy smirk returned. "You'll have to okay it through Almasy first."

"Tch! She's got him wrapped around her little finger."

Jaxon chuckled while shaking his head. "I don't know about that..."

"I do. You should've seen Seifer **before** Sally started working there."

"Yeah. I've heard stories from Selphie."

"Well, there ya go."

Jaxon watched me with mild seriousness before motioning toward me as we headed to the front gates of Deling Garden. "That's some girl you're getting, Dincht. You make the most of life with her." He looked away. "It's always too short."

My only response was an absent nod. I mean, the memory of that day when the bookcase toppled onto her was still burned into my brain. And now that I cared for her as more than just a candidate needing help, the thought of **not** having her around... well, it freaked me out a little. Sort of like when she went on her Field Exam, but a helluva lot worse.

Jaxon focused on me again and forced a small smile. "I'll try to keep the dark air of philosophy to a minimum."

My grin returned and I punched him on the arm. "Thanks. Don't want her thinking you're deeper than me."

Jaxon chuckled. "I don't think you need to worry about that. It's all you where she's concerned."

I could feel my ears burn, but I ignored it. "Yeah, but where'd that come from? You know my rep."

His lips twitched. "There's no accounting for taste where women are concerned."

I laughed and gave him another firm shove as we exited Deling Garden and headed for the Air Tranz that would take us to Balamb. We settled inside and then signaled the pilot. The tranz lifted and then headed toward Balamb Garden.

I chucked Jaxon's 'wedding bag' at him and then heaved mine up onto my lap. "Sally's been asking about you this week," I told him as I shrugged out of my SeeD Jacket and shirt. Then I pulled my tuxedo out of the garment bag and hung the hanger on a nearby hook. "She's a little worried the wedding will be too much for you." I sent him a sidelong glance as he also began changing into his white tuxedo. "You doing okay?"

Jaxon nodded, frowning a bit as he concentrated on undoing a particularly stubborn hook on his SeeD jacket. "I'll be sure to tell her I'm fine," he said absently.

I smirked and shrugged into my t-shirt and dress-shirt before undoing my slacks. "Just remember she won't believe you if you're lying, dude. She's good like that. Besides." I slipped out of my slacks, sitting down before I fell down, and pulled on the rest of my tuxedo. "Besides, you make lame excuses when you want someone to ask."

He smirked and briefly looked up as he finally set aside his SeeD jacket. "Bad habit."

"No. It's a damn good habit. Makes me pay attention." I tucked my shirt into my slacks and then strapped on the cummerbund before slipping into the white tuxedo jacket. Then I motioned toward him with a lift of my chin. "You wanna talk about anything right now? If you don't 'fess, Sally'll just ask later."

Jaxon chuckled. "I'll be okay, Zell, and I don't need to talk about anything. I'm fine." He slipped into his dress-shirt. "And you'll be too busy with the receptions and then your three-week honeymoon to worry about whether or not I'm doing alright with my own sad sick little life."

I grinned. "Duuuuude. Honeymoon with Sally for **three weeks**. I swear I'm gonna die of... of..."

"Over sex?"

I howled out a laugh as I carefully sat back down in one of the seats lining the sides of the Air Tranz. "Jax, dude. Please."

Jaxon finished dressing in his tuxedo and sat. "Sorry."

I smirked and then motioned toward him. "Just know that Sally's gone into 'mother-mode' with you."

Jaxon smirked. "'Mother-mode'. That's a good one. I haven't been mothered in years." He met my gaze. "She 'mother' you a lot, does she?"

"Sally? Nah. Rinoa's the one that mothers me."

Jaxon's eyebrows lifted. "Really? I never would have pictured that one."

I nodded and tried to keep myself from crossing my arms. I didn't want to wrinkle the tux. "Yeah. I don't think she does it on purpose. I just think she sees me as kinda helpless or something." I shrugged. "Who knows. I never see her do it to Squall, so it doesn't matter. Or maybe she does but he doesn't care. You know he never knew his parents?"

Jaxon hissed through his teeth. "No. I didn't."

I shook my head as I turned my focus to the window. "So maybe he likes the attention? Some guys go for that. Me? I think it would get old after a while. I mean, geez, I'm not nine years old. I can make decisions for myself. That's the cool thing about Sally, too. She puts all these decisions on the table, talking them out and letting me have a say in this thing or that thing. I never really had anyone do that before. Except Squall on some missions here and there during the whole thing with the Sorceress. It makes me feel really important when she does that, too. Like she trusts me to make the right choices. Where to work. Where to live. What job to take. What clothes she should wear--" I grinned and looked over at Jaxon. "She looks hot in tight black leather."

Jaxon blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Leather. She and I go shopping with Selphie, and Sally tries on things for me if I try on things for her. It's a blast!"

"But. . . Leather? Sally?" Jaxon shook his head. "I can't imagine dear little Sally in black leather."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "And **I** got her the outfit. It's going to be a surprise I give her on the honeymoon."

Jaxon held out his hands. "Stop. That's enough. I don't need anything more."

I laughed. "Okay, okay. I guess Sally'd cuff me upside the back of the head if she knew I was telling you about it."

"Balamb. Coming up," the pilot announced.

"Awesome!" I stood, my insides twisting and rolling all over the place as I grinned and grabbed one of the safety straps.

"You're just a little exited, aren't you?" Jaxon observed as he also stood.

"Are you kidding me? Jax, **I'm** **getting** **married**!"

Jaxon smirked. "I **had** noticed something about that." He sent me a glance and then a normal smile. "Congratulations, Zell. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

I grinned. "With Sally? Damn straight!"



I stared at myself in the mirror within the tent in the Training Center and could hardly believe what I saw.

A bride.

The gown was white and soft, shimmering in the dim candlelight while whispering of all the historical weddings and romances that had come before mine. The line was simple, with no flare of skirt. There was only the flow from sleeveless top that rose to my neck to the hem that fell below my ankles, completely covering my white-slippered feet, with the majority of the gown trailing along behind to enhance height and my naturally slender line.

The veil that separated me from the man I would marry was fairy fine, falling like mist over my face and down my back as the small gems stitched within it sparkled and winked in the light. My dazed gaze lowered to the bouquet of flowers in my hand. Whites and pinks and yellows nestled within the brilliant green and whispering of an aroma of romance and love. I brought it up to my nose, closing my eyes as I breathed in deep. _I'm getting married_ tickled my thoughts and then drifted away again.

Selphie, who had been standing by the entry/exit and peeking outside, voiced a muffled squeal. "Oooo. Everyone looks so handsome!" She motioned behind her to Janine, who leaned lightly against the central support beam for the tent while filing her nails. Her and Selphie's bridesmaids dresses were nearly identical to my wedding gown, but were a soft blue and had no train.

"Janine, Janine! There's Seifer and Jaxie! Wow! They look **wonderful**!"

But I couldn't focus on what she said or what she meant. I could only stare at the bride in the mirror and wonder where she had come from. In fact, it was as if I watched from a great distance, happily content to follow this bride where she went as long as I would always feel like this--

"Oo! Oo! There's the signal," Selphie squealed, and then the curtain was drawn back and Irvine Kinneas was presenting his arm to her as the first row in the processional began.

That was when reality hit me like a ton of rubble.

Selphie exited the tent, the flap lowering with a rustle as I blinked and swallowed hard, staring wide-eyed at the petite bride staring back at me. I suddenly didn't feel very well.

"There she is."

I twitched and looked in the mirror to Janine's reflection where she stood behind me. "What?"

Janine smirked and gave my arms a squeeze. "Little Miss Daydream finally let you get back to business. Good thing, too. Your man is waiting for you."

I focused back on the very pale girl in the reflection. "Janie... I'm scared."

Janine curtly nodded. "Good." My eyes met hers in surprise. "It means you give a damn about the man you're saying your 'I do's to. It means you'll work hard to make it the best damn marriage it could be." She gave my shoulders another squeeze when Jaxon lifted the curtain. "You'll be fine, Sal gal. Just be yourself and take one step at a time."

I wordlessly nodded, looking again to my reflection as Janine turned and exited the tent, accepting Jaxon's arm with a smirk and a smart-ass quip I didn't pay attention to. I was too busy gathering my scattered courage so I could finish something I'd dreamed my entire life of doing: marry Zell Dincht.

"Sally Elizabeth Dincht," I whispered.

I swallowed hard and adjusted my hold on my bouquet. "Sally Elizabeth Dincht." I turned and moved to wait by the curtain entry/exit. "Sally Elizabeth--" and my dad opened the tent flap to reveal my future husband, bedecked in white tuxedo jacket, Balamb-blue cummerbund, and black slacks as he smiled and grinned and looked as handsome and completely adorable as when I had first seen him... "Dincht," I breathed.

"You ready, hon?" Dad asked softly.

I looked over at him and smiled as I nodded, resting my hand on his arm and voicing a quiet, "Yes."

He covered my hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze as he quietly said, "I love you, Sally, and we're very proud of you."

I could feel the tears begin. "I love you, too, Dad."

He touched me under the chin and then guided me out of the tent. Everyone--the crowd only consisting of fifty people, twenty-five on each side of the aisle--stood to their feet as I stepped forward, but anything they might have whispered or said aloud was lost as my eyes focused on Zell and his expression. He smiled, and it was nothing like any I'd seen before. And it even looked like he may have brushed a tear from his cheek as I approached. The thought overwhelmed me and had **me** crying as I stepped along beside my father to the man who would now be taking care of me. My hero. My sweetie. My Zell.

Dad stopped just a step or two back from the place where Zell waited, giving my hand one last gentle pressure before solemnly transferring my hand to Zell's. I moved closer, giving Dad one last smile before focusing on Zell and tearing up when I saw tell-tale wetness on one cheek.

Zell reached out and gently lifted the veil to drape it behind me. "Hey, kitten," he said in a low tone, giving my hand a collection of squeezes as his thumb caressed the knuckles.

I swallowed the tears and choked out, "Hey, handsome."

We exchanged smiles and then faced Squall, who looked dashing in his dress blues. Squall actually gave me a small smile before opening the book with the wedding vows inside, clearing his throat, and beginning the ceremony.

I could barely hear the words for the rising excitement and expectation at being able to sing to my sweetie. To see the look on his face when Rinoa handed me the microphone. To be able to give him this one thing in front of everyone.

We repeated the vows and exchanged rings, my hands trembling in his warm and gentle grip as the time so very slowly approached. Then we turned to our right and began the lighting of the candles, a soft and melodic piano piece playing as background instead of Rinoa's lovely singing voice. Zell sent me a glance, his hand pausing the duty of lighting the first candle as he sent a stealthy glance toward the place Rinoa was **supposed** to be and then to my face. I didn't look away from what I was doing, so Zell gave a small shrug and continued.

I breathed in deep and released it slow, preparing myself for the moment of a lifetime, and then the final candle was lit--a symbol of unity being a single large candle lit together--and Zell was taking my hand to lead me back to Squall. His step hesitated a fraction of a moment when he saw Rinoa standing there holding a microphone. But as Zell always did, he took it as it came and continued forward. I accepted the microphone from Rinoa and faced Zell, giving his hand holding mine a series of squeezes as Rinoa made her way back to the piano and began playing the introduction.

"This is for you, Zell," I whispered, "because I love you. Because you always know and believe I can do the hardest things."

Zell gave a surprised blink, even sending Squall a 'Did you know about this?' glance before again focusing on me as I began to sing.

You were standing there,

And I was not aware

Of the sunlight in your stare

Melting me,

Changing me from gray to clear

Never before have I been seen like this.

Sunshine yellow eyes;

Deep blue ocean smile.

Look into this ice,

Melt me.

As you turn around

This time

You wash the world in white

You burn the sunlight with your eyes

Looking into me

And my heart anchored down in the sea of your smile.

Sunshine yellow eyes;

Deep blue ocean smile.

Look into this ice,

Melt me.

Melt me.

And my heart anchored down in the sea of your smile...

Sunshine yellow eyes;

Deep blue ocean smile.

Look into this ice,

Melt me.

Melt me.

Melt me...

Rinoa ended the song and I handed the microphone off to Selphie as the crowd whistled and applauded, several of them standing to their feet. Then I took in a slow breath and returned my focus to Zell. Throughout the song his expression had been unreadable, especially to me as I focused so hard on the music and the words and trying to get through it without breaking down into a fit of tears. Now, I timidly smiled up at him and gave his hand a squeeze as I whispered, "surprise."

Zell's mouth worked soundlessly a moment before he grinned and took a step forward, any progress halted by Jaxon and a hand on Zell's arm.

"Hey. What gives?" Zell protested.

Jaxon chuckled. "Save it for later, Zell."

Zell's ears tinged pink as he winked. "Right." Then he looked back to me. "Thanks, kitten. It was awesome. I knew you could do it."

I nodded and softly said, "I know."

Squall cleared his throat, drawing Zell and my attention as the applause waned and those standing returned to their seats. "In the presence of these witnesses, and with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Squall decreed, intercepting Zell's grin with a slight quirk of lip.

"Say it," Zell hissed. "Say it, say it."

Squall chuckled. "You may kiss the bride."

"Booya!"

I laughed as Zell stepped close, holding my face in his hands as the crowd began to chant "Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss!" I rested my hands gently on his wrists, closing my eyes as his breath feathered my face and then his lips ever so slowly and tenderly touched mine. I sighed and the crowd roared again, rising to their feet for the second time as Zell and I drew back to smile at each other before facing out.

Then Rinoa began the recessional and Selphie and Irvine led us out. I tightened my arm around Zell's. He met my happy gaze to give me a smile and touch me gently under the chin. I softly giggled, welcoming back the happy euphoria with open arms.

~*~

"Just look at the two love-birds," Irvine Kinneas drawled, one side of the Galbadian Elite Commander's lips tilted upward as he watched Zell Dincht practically drool over his new wife. He shook his head and elbowed Seifer in the ribs. "She never once looked sideways at you the way she looks at Dincht, I reckon."

Seifer scowled at him. "Kinneas, shut your hole before I shut it for you."

Janine chuckled and stepped up close to give Seifer's butt a pat. "Now, now, Babe. We all know you've never cared one way or the other for Sally. Who cares if she never knew you were alive?"

Seifer scoffed and gave Janine a shove away. She crossed her arms, still smirking as she regarded him with twinkling brown eyes.

Irvine gave Seifer a nudge, drawing his hard emerald gaze. "Come on now, Almasy. Her sweet little ass never grabbed your attention? Not even once did you ever wonder if she was a handful or a mouthful?"

Seifer tightened his jaw and gave Irvine's smirking face a hard glare. "You're a sad, sick little man, Kinneas."

Irvine chuckled as Janine stepped up close, running a hand down Seifer's arm and drawing his gaze back to her. "It's okay, big guy. She's cute, in a pure way; we don't blame you your little crush."

Seifer almost sighed as he glared down at her. "A crush? You're kidding, Larabie."

"Oh?" she practically purred, stepping in closer. She ran a hand down the front of his tuxedo. "Then I dare you to walk up there and kiss her full on the mouth."

Seifer's eyebrow twitched as Irvine laughed and added, "Sure thing. Right in plain view of Dincht, too."

"To prove what, exactly?" Seifer prompted.

Janine chuckled. "Not to prove anything, really, but to give you your one and only chance to kiss her. Little, pure, defenseless Sally Regal."

Seifer's eyebrow twitched again. "Defenseless? Like hell."

Janine smirked. "Everyone gets to kiss the bride. It's tradition."

"A'yup," Irvine agreed, chuckling. "Tradition."

Seifer focused on Irvine with another hard stare. "The bar's calling you, boy."

Irvine smirked. "I reckon so," he drawled, "and I'll go, but I'm watching for when it gets done." And he walked away, moving deeper into the milling crowd at the Quad.

"Come on, Almasy," Janine pressed, her laughing tone attracting Seifer's focus. "You've always wondered what it's like. Every man has. Even Beita, though he won't admit it." She motioned behind her to Sally in a Balamb-blue colored strapless dress of satin that fit every curve. "Now's your chance."

"Fine," he said shortly as he pushed her to one side and strode forward.

Sally stood in the center of a clique of SeeDs and their dates; Jaxon, Squall and Rinoa, Marshal and Ahndra, Selphie and Nida, and a couple others. Dincht, of course, stood at Sally's side. Sally noticed Seifer's approach and smiled at him, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she brought up a hand to wave.

Seifer smirked. "Regal. Dincht," he greeted as he came to stand in front of them. He noticed that Squall, Marshal, Ahndra, and Jaxon regarded him with curiosity and suspicion. "Congratulations."

Dincht grinned, his arm tightening around Sally's waist. "Thanks, Seif."

Sally softly giggled and blushed, eyes focusing on the floor as she clasped her hands behind her. "Thank you, sir," she said softly.

"Your performance of the song deserves a promotion," Seifer continued. "Perfect attack."

Sally flushed darker and Dincht agreed with an excited, "Damn straight!"

Seifer focused on Dincht. "Permission to kiss the bride?"

Dincht, still smiling, focused on Sally and drew her close to place a kiss on her temple. Sally giggled. "Sure," he said when he grinned again at Seifer.

Seifer curtly nodded and took a step forward, leaning down and moving as if to kiss her cheek. But he adjusted his descent at the last moment and kissed her on the lips.

Softly. And only for a very brief moment.

He straightened, noticing Zell's raised eyebrow and Sally's wide eyes as her fingers touched her lips, and then he smirked and turned to walk away. Janine was laughing on the far side of the Quad, shaking her head as she watched him approach.

"You big softee," she said under her breath.

"Say that tonight," he dared as he passed.

Janine smirked. "Ooo. Now **there's** a prospect."

Seifer laughed and left the Quad to check on security.

~*~

The reception at Deling Garden had been strained, at best. Jaxon had warned us most of those who attended either had social problems earning them assigned attendance as a 'workshop', or that they hoped to speak to Cmdr. Squall about a transfer. Needless to say, Zell and I had agreed to leave as soon as we could so that the torture for everyone would be as little as possible.

For us and for them.

When we arrived, the applause had barely been polite, but I hadn't cared. I was married to Zell Dincht. What else mattered? So, we had cake and chit-chatted, doing our best to make a circle on our way back to the door. During that circle I could have sworn I saw a woman who looked so much like Quistis as to be her twin, but Zell had chalked it up to me wanting her and my brother there so bad that I imagined them. Again, I didn't think about it for very long. Not with Zell beside me, his arm around me, and an occasional kiss being placed on my temple.

Euphoria was my favorite place.

Not even an hour into the reception, Zell had taken me by the hand and hurried me out with a whispered, "Sh. Let's go while no one's looking." and had rushed me all the way from Deling Garden to the train station in Deling City, giggling and chuckling like a couple of newlyweds all the way. The adventure of escaping the reception had been very exciting, and it had given me the romantic impression of elopement. It had also made the evening even more perfect.

Now Zell and I quietly walked toward the Balamb Hotel, hands held and the sound of the water the only whisper between us as the evening sky twinkled with stars that seemed to smile down at us and offer shushed 'congratulations'. This had been the day I had waited for my entire life, and now it was coming to a close.

I was a little afraid for what was at the end of this adventure. After all, we'd spent our entire relationship keeping carefully back from the emotional edge of that kind of intimacy. Now I had to get my heart and mind to realize it was okay. That I didn't have to pull away, or keep myself in check, or anything like that.

Zell and I had talked about this a lot over the past three months. Talking about that time when we would finally be able to let loose the feelings we'd been holding back for what seemed forever. My greatest fear was that I would pull back from him when he touched me, hurting his feelings with an instinctual reaction that had been serving as a protection my entire life. And I'd confessed that to him, too...

"Zell..." I lowered my gaze to where my fingers absently brushed and tapped at the cement wall of the Forbidden Area. "I... I've never been touched before. For years I've had to keep that part of myself reserved for the moment when I would finally be married..." I looked up again to find him watching me with a soft smile, standing so close that I could feel his warmth and smell his welcome aroma of musk. "Zell, I don't want to hurt you by pulling back."

"I know, kitten." He reached out and tenderly rubbed my back. "We've been telling ourselves 'no sex' for months. It'll just take a little bit to relax and get used to the idea."

"Relax?" I bit my lip and looked out toward the view of Balamb Garden. "Relax, Zell? Remember how long it took me to 'relax' when we were dating?" I reminded softly.

"Sure I do, but you were a different person then. So was I."

I sighed and lowered my gaze.

"Now, kitten..." Zell drew me close, resting his chin on my head as I wrapped my arms around him.

I sighed again and closed my eyes. "Mom said it's natural for me to feel shy," I admitted.

"Of course it is. You're a modest person, Sally, and here you're going to have to strip down to the skin."

I reluctantly giggled and pushed back, my cheeks flamed red as I hissed, "Zell..." in complaint.

His smile was only partially mischievous. "What? It's the truth. Same with me for you. I'm willing to bet you've never seen a guy stripped down to his nothings." I shook my head and lowered my focus to the center of his shirt. "Well there ya go. We're both gonna be a little nervous of what the other thinks. Maybe even embarrassed. I know you were about your birthmark. Remember?" I nodded, still not looking up. "But you were finally able to not need to wear your t-shirt over your swimsuit. It'll be the same kinda thing with everything else."

"But..."

Zell waited and then tipped my chin up. "'But'?" he prompted.

"But I don't know what to do, not really. Sure my mom and I have talked, but it's not the same as in person."

One side of Zell's lips twitched upward. "Sally, we don't have to have sex the first night. We can just cuddle. I told you; we've got three weeks alone together. We'll work up to it."

I pushed back and turned away. "But I feel so stupid," I confessed tearfully.

"Oh man, Sally." He draped his arm around my shoulders. "Don't feel stupid. I'm kinda spooked about it myself."

I blinked tears from eyes as I looked up at him. "You... You are?"

"Sure. What if I'm no good?"

My eyes widened. "...you really think that?" I asked in a hushed voice.

_"Of_ _course_ _I think that. Sex isn't exactly on the course list here. I'm kinda goin' on instinct and what seems to work."_

"So... So we're going to be learning... together?"

He chuckled and pulled me close. "And probably having a lot of fun doing it."

I giggled, "Zell," and snuggled closer...

And that conversation continued to run through my mind as we drew closer and closer to the hotel. I mean, what a relief to know he was just as uncertain and hesitant and... and scared as I was. That simple fact helped me relax a little more. And when in conjunction to the kissing and cuddling we'd done on the train? The terror of this first night wasn't as bad as it had been.

"You okay?" Zell asked softly, giving my hand a gentle pressure.

I looked over to meet his gaze and smiled as I nodded. Of course I was okay. I was married to Zell Dincht. I was in **love** with Zell Dincht. I was on a honeymoon with Zell Dincht. I couldn't be **more** okay.

"Just checkin'. You've been kinda quiet."

I looked ahead. The hotel was only a few moments down the cobbled walk. "I've been thinking about what you said."

"About our first night?"

I nodded.

"There's no pressure, Sally. Okay?"

I nodded again as I faced him, my smile brightening. "I know. That's why I'm not as terrified as I was that day we talked about it. I'm still a little scared and nervous, but I'm okay."

One side of Zell's lips twitched as his face and ears seemed to get a little pink. "You're doing better than me. I'm scared as hell."

That confession had me blinking and my mouth dropping open as I halted. "Really?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm a performance freak, Sally. If it's something physical, I gotta be perfect at it the first time." I was about to say something when he said, "I know what I said before, and that's totally true, but I've still got to admit I'm scared shitless. I mean, dude, you look at me with stars in your eyes now. After our first time together, you might look at me with a 'what the hell was I thinking?'"

I gasped again, my hand shielding my mouth moments before I leaned toward him and took hold of his arm. "Zell, oh my gosh, I wouldn't **ever** think that."

"Oh I know," he said, nodding as his expression showed seriousness. "It's what **I** tell me you could think. And I know it's just a mind job I'm doing on myself. I just haven't had the chance to work it out yet."

"Is there... Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Help? I don't think so. Like I said, I just need to work it out." He grinned and draped an arm around my shoulders to draw me toward the hotel again. "You never knew I was a freak about physical stuff, Sally? Come on. I've been pushing you hard for months. Ever since we started working out."

"But no harder than I would have pushed myself," I reminded. "Being SeeD demands perfection."

"But being married doesn't. Only I never learned to cut myself or anyone else any slack."

I smiled at him. "Uh-huh. You're so easy on me it's funny."

His expression softened. "Yeah. Okay. So I am."

I rested my cheek against him as I wrapped my arms around his waist. "It won't be any different tonight, and I'm determined to believe that."

He kissed the top of my head. "You rock on **so** many different levels."

I gave him a squeeze. "You're not so bad yourself, Mr. Man."

We giggled and/or chuckled at the same time, Zell pulling me closer against him as we entered the hotel and made our way up to the front desk.

"Zell," the man at the desk greeted. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, Derik. Is our room ready?"

"Of course. Right this wa--"

"That's okay. I know the way."

"Of course. Have a good evening," Derik said as Zell guided me to the stairs and up.

Zell chuckled. "He has no idea."

I softly giggled. " **That** sounds like the Zell I know and love."

We crested the stairs and Zell scooped me up into his arms. "Hey. I told you I just need to work it out."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek before nuzzling mine against it. "You take all the time you need, sweetie. I'm not going anywhere."

Zell adjusted his hold to open the door of our room. "That's good to know. It would be a bummer if you had plans. I mean, dude, the boat leaves tomorrow."

I giggled and pulled back, wrinkling my nose at him before kissing him lightly on the lips. "You silly boy."

He closed the door with his foot, submerging the room into darkness save the soft glow of the moon from the sliding glass doors leading out onto the balcony. Then Zell slowly lowered my feet to the ground, his hands moving to my waist as my arms still gently looped his neck. He softly smiled down at me. I fell in love with him all over again when he looked at me like that.

"Hi, Mrs. Dincht," he said in a low voice.

I sighed before I whispered, "Hi, Mr. Dincht."

Zell caressed a lock of hair behind my ear as his eyes... Man. I loved his eyes. They twinkled and glowed such a beautiful shade of blue that it had me convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that our honeymoon would be more than 'okay'. Once we got past the hesitancy and the shyness, we'd be all right. And when Zell released a deep breath and drew me close... I closed my eyes and brought my arms down from his neck to go behind him, under the jacket of his tuxedo to the warmth that had always made me feel safe and more. And his arms held me close in a way I hadn't ever been held before. Tight but gentle. Completely and utterly against him; as if he was as dazed about the reality of this moment as I was.

It was the best moment of my life, and I knew there were so many more waiting for us.

"Hey, Sally?" he asked softly, his breath tickling my neck.

I sighed. "Hm?"

"Could you sing me that song again?"

My lips lilted upward as I whispered, "Okay," and began singing. Humming when the emotion wouldn't let me sing. Singing when the words were too wonderful to keep silent... and Zell just held me close, rocking back and forth as we danced in the moonlight to usher in our 'happily ever after' with a song and a smile.

### The End

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Other Bookworms & Booya Saga Books Referenced in this Installment:

_Few Words_ –the story of Fujin & Marshal's mission to Winhill

_The Reluctant Knight_ –the story of Seifer and Janine's unique relationship

_In Theory,_ by Nona Mae King & J.Seay–Quistis's mission to Deling Garden

About the Author | Nona Mae King

Writing has been my passion since I was a child when I began creating skits and songs. My life would be empty without this call. There would be no purpose. No ending to guide my daily struggle. No story toward which to strive. Each day something beckons, and that--I know--is the waiting tale. One last happy ending.

Connect with Me Online:

Twitter: <http://twitter.com/writersprite>

Facebook: http://facebook.com/NonaKing

My site: http://angelbreathbooks.com

My blog: http://wordobsession.net

