I'm a teacher by profession,
And it is my sacred mission
To enable lots of bright young minds to shine;
There is nothing so exciting
as a kid who's got ambition
And when that kid does well, I'm on cloud nine!
Our school is what you might call
archetypal inner city -
Underfunded, overcrowded and diverse;
Mrs Thatcher sold our sports grounds in the 80s,
more's the pity;
The life chances of our kids could not be worse;
At least, that's what we thought till Covid locked up ev'ryone;
Oh a teacher's lot is not a happy one.
Gavin Williamson's been Minister in charge since the election
That's in spite of being sacked by Mrs. May
And so, from early March, when schools were closed to stop infection
English education's been in disarray;
Yet 7 hospitals were built in just 8 weeks while Gavin dawdled!
It shows that great things can be done in haste
They were mothballed a month later...
Could they not have been remodelled?
Extra classroom space?
Of course not!
What a waste!
Do remind me if there's ANYTHING successful that he's run...
Oh, a teacher's lot is not a happy one.
As if that was not enough,
let's address the recent shitshow
Which meant 4 in 10 A levels were downgraded
The algorithmic bias seemed to prove that life's a bitch,
So many poorer kids assumed their dreams had faded;
The fallout was astonishing,
with Ofqual rightly panned
for not understanding how their methods hurt;
And where was Boris?
He was trespassing on Highland farmers' land,
Having lots of jolly japes inside a yurt;
Oh he talks of levelling up!
Well, this isn't how it's done;
Oh, a teacher's lot is not a happy one.
Be sure the holy mess continues since they backtracked on the marking
Which meant teachers' own predictions were allowed;
This means the Clearing System's buggered,
oh, the situation's BARKING!
Universities are bloodied, bent and bowed;
Next the schools are to re-open, but who knows for what duration?
The Government has clearly lost the plot;
Well, that shouldn't be surprising,
since the Leader of the Nation
Doesn't even know how many kids he's got...
It's a monumental clusterfuck that's bound to run and run;
Oh, a teacher's lot is not a happy one!
