So in the last election Democratic Republican Thomas Jefferson lost to Federalist John Adams.
And we're back live with round two of Jefferson versus Adams. Let's see what happens.
Adams, I cannot believe you and your obesity would choose to run for re-election
with your inhumane alien and sedition acts
which directly go against the laws upheld by the constitution.
Well Jefferson you and your party are just a bunch of idiot rAdiCalS
who went and supported the horribly violent French Revolution
Which is absolutely not what we want to project to the rest the world.
And about that one slave you said you liked-
WOAH, now hold on a second. That has nothing to do
With my argument.
And thank you for mentioning me and my party
while you on the other hand are
struggling with Hamilton who has way more power,
like when he managed to help the government respond to the Whiskey Rebellion,
and in my opinion is way better than someone who I could imagine
on the front of a Quaker Oats box
OATS
On top of that. Thanks to you,
we unnecessarily got involved in the quasi-war, and strained ties with France
by refusing to pay them for their help and my trade with GB,
who are enemies of the French!
Woah, U got it all wrong fam,
See, we had good reason to join the quasi war
Shut the frick up you oaf, and let me finish.
Thanks to this stupid conflict,
You just had to tax the people even more just so you can support your own frickin useless military expenses
But I will make sure we don't force our hands upon the people for new taxes. Let's see who the real man is now!
(You are already dead)
(WHat
RIP
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This little event, of France possessing herself of
Louisiana, is the embryo of a tornado which will burst on the countries
of both shores the Atlantic and involve in its effects, their highest destinies
Well, I'll just see what happens. Hopefully Napoleon just gives us the land we need.
without too much complication.
Yo Brüder, how are you?
Pretty good, what about you? I'm doing pretty well fam.
All right
so thing is I've come to realize that the future of our country
depends on further expansion out westward and I need
All eight hundred twenty-seven thousand square miles of your land already with you, okay
I have a boatload of cash right here in my bank with me. What do you say?
I mean like, my conquest in saint-domingue isn't doing so well fam
My army has like died out. If I don't capture saint-domingue like I won't be able to support myself,
France and the Louisiana territory and like it's just not going so all fam, so I might give it to you
It just depends on how much $$$ you give me boi. Yeah, I feel you, dude
So right now I got around ten million dollars in my bank right now
What'd you say? 10 million, that's not too bad.
Ten million dollars? That's like nothing. You're like a broke af nation, okay
Think about this. Okay. I'm literally gonna DOUBLE the side of your country
and you're offering me ten million dollars. Those Brits,
those Brits are already squeezing me from all sides. Okay, if I don't get more cash, I'm just gonna like collapse
Okay, I need more cash. All right now, let me let me think about this a second
All right. So how about I give you an extra five million dollars, that fine? Five million dollars
Fifteen million dollars dude for land you don't even need
Dude,  15 million dollars. I mean like...
Hmm, that could work. You're not using the land!
You know what, you know what, I'll take the deal. All right
Yeah, but wait, you gotta gimme a baguette.
Oh, okay
IDK Y either
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Yo Lewis, I have a big favor to ask of you.
well, how big is it mister prez? Bruh, it's so big
It's bigger than John Adams' stomach, and you know that very well. that is big.
Now explain to me what it is
All right
So I've been really thinking...deeply about what lies ahead of our colonies.
I feel that there's some really interesting things in these unknown regions
Which might be to our advantage. Say the word and I'll ask Congress to fund the expedition
and I will commission a Corps of Discovery
Which YOU will lead and you will venture out into the unknown.
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Well, you see Mr. Prez, I'll gladly accept, however, I know I can't do this by myself.
So I'll need a second in command
and at the moment I can't think of anyone...
Oh wait, I know just the man
He's a very intelligent man, so intelligent
that he was able to break a desk within 5 seconds of sitting down
Bro, that sounds like a man of great wisdom and integrity.
Please show me this genius of a man. It's my main man. William Clarke
Hey guys, how's it goin'?
Wow, he looks like he actually has a lot of potential I wish you the best of luck on your travels.
(Dude, don't eat the cheese, it's expired)
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