There's one story
that we have to make time for.
Health care.
Breaking news
in the health care showdown.
There will be no health care
vote tonight.
Breaking news,
the art of no deal.
(laughter)
Are you serious?
Seven years?
The day that the Republicans
have been planning
for seven years arrives
and all of a sudden they don't
have their (bleep) together?
You know...
It's weird to be living
in a world
where musicians
put more planning
into their work
than politicians.
Because look at Drake
and Beyoncé.
Look at Drake and Beyoncé.
They planned their albums
in private,
then one day they surprise us
and it's perfect.
These Republican geniuses
have been hyping themselves
for seven years, running through
the streets,
"New album coming out!
New album coming out!"
And if you were following the
story, it was so easy to see
as it progressed that (bleep)
was not going to end well.
Right now, drama is building
ahead of this critical vote
on health care.
TV REPORTER: It's been a frantic
 push to the finish.
TV REPORTER: This is a do or die
 moment to get it passed.
TV REPORTER: The GOP revealing
 last minute tweaks
 to the bill overnight.
Whatever these changes
are going to be,
no one knows precisely,
because no one has seen
that revision yet.
Do you understand how bad
this looks?
This is health care reform,
the most important domestic bill
this year.
Republicans have full control
of the entire government,
and somehow they've turned it
into Wal-Mart on a black Friday.
(laughter)
Actually, I take that back.
Those people
are getting things done.
Look at those people,
they're getting things done.
-Look, it's simple.
-(cheering and applause)
It's simple what happened here.
With this health care plan,
Donald Trump and Paul Ryan
basically baked a turd,
a turd so bad even their own
party wouldn't eat it.
And instead of going back
and trying to bake a pie,
which is what normal people
would do,
they instead spent
all their energy
trying to convince everyone
in their party to eat (bleep).
The problem is everyone in their
party wants something different.
For instance, the far right
wants this.
TV REPORTER: The conservative
 freedom caucus
 wants to decrease the cost
 of health care premiums
 by rolling back
 the Affordable Care Act's
 essential health benefits,
 which mandates coverage
 for services
 like emergency room visits,
 maternity care,
 prescription drugs
 and mental health care.
I see.
So basically the far right said,
"We like everything
about the bill
"except for the health
and the care part.
That's all, that's all."
Really?
And on top of that, you're going
to cut mental health care?
That's pretty (bleep), man.
I feel like that's the one thing
we're all gonna need under
Trump's presidency.
That's-- I'm just gonna
put it out there.
That's the one thing
we're all gonna need.
-All of us.
-(cheering and applause)
So the far right says
cut people's benefits.
The only problem is, moderate
Republicans hate that idea,
because they're still human.
So in order to win over
the moderates,
Trump showed them love
the only way he knows how,
with money.
Speaking about
some of the giveaways,
Upstate New York Republicans,
they got, what?
$2 billion as part of the deal
to get their votes.
TV REPORTER: Protecting
 Upstate New York counties
 from repaying the state
 billions of dollars
 for Medicaid costs.
 It would not apply
 to New York City.
Wow. So just to be clear,
predominantly Republican
Upstate New York
wouldn't have to pay
for Medicaid,
but New York City,
which is mostly Democrats,
still would.
That's (bleep),
you know why?
'Cause New Yorkers
don't have money.
They spent it all on buying
their giant mayor food.
That's what they did, okay?
That's an actual life-size
picture of him, by the way.
I've met him.
I Ubered in his shoe.
But even after
all these concessions,
Trump and Ryan still
didn't have enough support
to pass their bill.
Because, going into the vote,
everyone knows that all the
Democrats will vote against it,
so Trump and Ryan
can only afford
to lose 21 Republican votes.
Unfortunately, for them,
up to 40 Republicans
are leaning against it.
And, at first, Trump was like,
"Who cares about the votes?
I have the electoral college."
And then they explained to him
that's not how it works.
And so now if you're Trump
and facing down
an embarrassing defeat,
you've got no choice
but to turn on
your trademark charm.
REPORTER: President Trump
twisting arms, threatening jobs
 to win support
 for the GOP health care plan.
President Trump is issuing
a stern warning to Republicans,
telling them they could
lose their seats in 2018
if they fail to approve
the new health plan.
REPORTER 2: Shortly after
meeting with House Republicans,
President Trump joking he might
 actually be better off
 without Congress.
If I were
a Republican congressman,
I would just
call Trump on his bluff.
"I'm going to get everyone
to vote against you."
"Oh, really? Well, who am I?
No, no, come on.
What district am I from?"
"Um, uh, District 9?"
He doesn't know
who these people are, man.
I-It's crazy. It's crazy.
Like, what Republicans
were willing to do
to get this bill passed.
Backroom deals to buy support,
rewrite it in the dead
of the night,
rush it for a vote
before anyone could read it.
In fact, when
you think about it,
this is less
of an Obamacare repeal
and more of a despicable
Obamacare remix.
Because everything
the GOP is doing now
is a more extreme version of the
same things they bitched about
during Obamacare's passage
eight years ago.
I think a lot of people
are gonna be watching,
that's why they're gonna
wait till the dead of night
and hope people
aren't li-listening
or paying attention.
These backroom deals...
It's more of the same,
it's more of why
the American people
want Congress
to scrap this bill.
Their approach of just ramming
this reckless proposal through
before anybody
gets a chance to see it.
If you rush this thing through
before before anybody
e-even knows what it is,
that's not good democracy.
Yeah.
Feels like the politicians
are the only people
who get less wise with age.
Hey, Republicans, look...
I know that you're excited
that you're finally in power,
but slow down.
Because health care
is a long-term commitment,
not a one-night stand.
And take it from me,
premature legislation
doesn't make anybody happy.
