- This is Shelldor, The Conqueror.
We are about to enter Axel's fortress.
Now this is a long run, so
let's do another bladder check.
(audience laughing)
♪ Math, science, history ♪
♪ Unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with the big bang ♪
♪ Bang ♪
- How 'bout we go rock, paper, scissors?
- Ooh, I don't think so?
No, anecdotal evidence suggests
that in a game of rock, paper, scissors,
players familiar with each other
will tie 75 to 80% of the time
due to the limited number of outcomes.
I suggest rock, paper,
scissors, lizard, Spock.
(audience laughing)
- What?
- It's very simple.
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock,
rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock,
Spock smashes scissors,
scissors decapitates lizard,
lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock,
Spock vaporizes rock,
and as it always has,
rock crushes scissors.
(audience laughing)
- Okay. I think I got it.
- [Both] Rock, paper,
scissors, lizard, Spock.
(audience laughing)
- Penny?
(Penny knocking)
- Sheldon?
(audience laughing)
- Penny?
(Penny knocking)
- Sheldon?
(audience laughing)
- Penny?
(Penny knocking)
- Sheldon?
- Penny?
- Sheldon?
- Penny?
- Sheldon?
- Penny?
(audience laughing)
- What do you want?
- I need access to the Cheesecake
Factory's walk in freezer.
- Yeah, honey, I already told you,
the hamburger meat is fresh
and stored at a safe temperature.
(audience laughing)
(Sheldon coughing)
(audience laughing)
(thermometer beeps)
- Oh dear God.
(audience laughing)
Leonard? (coughs)
Leonard, I'm sick.
(audience laughing)
Leonard? (coughs)
Leonard, I'm sick.
Leonard?
Leonard?
Leonard?
Leonard, my comforter fell down
and my sinuses hurt when I bend over.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
- My Incredible Hulk
hands signed by Stan Lee.
(audience groaning)
- Oh, my.
(audience laughing)
(audience laughing)
I've admired these for years.
- Does that mean we can
go with the girls again?
- Hulk agrees to second
date with puny humans.
(audience laughing)
- Hey Shelley.
What ya doing?
- Size ratio was all wrong.
Couldn't visualize it.
Needed bigger carbon atoms.
(audience laughing)
- Sure, sure.
(audience laughing)
How did you get into this place?
- The back door has a
five pin tumbler system,
single circuit alarm, child's play.
(audience laughing)
You can start sorting protons and neutrons
while I build carbon atoms.
- No, I don't think so.
We need to go home now.
- But I'm still working.
- If you don't come out of there,
I'm gonna have to drag you out.
- You can try, but you'll never catch me.
(audience laughing)
- For God's sake.
Sheldon, come here.
- Bazinga.
Bazinga.
Bazinga.
Bazinga.
(audience laughing)
Penny, Leonard.
Would you be able to answer
some questions I'm having
about the events of last night?
(audience laughing)
- Sure.
Question one.
Where are my pants?
(audience laughing)
- You might want to check YouTube.
(audience laughing)
- What do I search?
- It's already loaded. Just hit play.
(audience laughing)
- All right, people, let's
get down to the math.
It is only three dimensional thinking
that limits our imagination.
Can I take my pants off over my head?
Of course not.
And my body's in the way,
but if we had access to higher dimensions,
we could move our pants
around our bodies through
the fourth dimension
and our days of dropping
trousers would be over.
(audience laughing)
Oh Lord.
This couldn't be any more humiliating.
- Oh, give It a minute.
(audience laughing)
- Now for the astronomers
in the audience, get ready to
see the dark side of the moon.
(audience laughing)
And here's Uranus.
(air whooshing)
- Hey, Sheldon, you busy?
- I'm always busy.
This mind is capable of
advanced multitasking.
Yeah, currently, I'm attempting
to solve the Penrose conjecture.
I'm composing my Nobel acceptance speech
for when I've solved
the Penrose conjecture,
and I'm wondering how
mermaids have babies.
(audience laughing)
- Don't they lay eggs on a rock?
- Now I've got room for another thing.
What do you want?
(air whooshing)
- Look, I know our winter
thermostat setting is 72 degrees,
but I'm a little warm so
I'm gonna turn it down.
(air whooshing)
(tense music)
(audience laughing)
(air whooshing)
(sonic boom blasting)
(air whooshing)
- Good Lord, how you frustrate
me, Leonard Hofstadter!
(audience laughing)
(air whooshing)
- Sing "Soft Kitty" to me.
(audience laughing)
(audience applauding)
- "Soft Kitty" is for when you're sick.
You're not sick.
- Injured and drugged is a kind of sick.
(audience laughing)
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty,
little ball of fur ♪
- Wait, wait.
Let's sing it as a round. I'll start.
(audience laughing)
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty,
little ball of fur ♪
So that's where you come
in. I'll start over.
(audience laughing)
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty,
little ball of fur ♪
(audience laughing)
I've got all night, Sheldon.
(audience laughing)
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
♪ little ball of fur ♪
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
♪ Purr, purr, purr ♪
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
♪ Purr, purr, purr ♪
(audience cheering)
(air whooshing)
- Sheldon, there's something
else I've been wanting to say,
but before I do, I just...
I want you to know that you
don't have to say it back.
I know you're not ready and
I don't want you to say it
just because social convention
dictates that-
- I love you too.
(audience applauding)
- You said it.
- There's no denying I
have feelings for you
that can't be explained in any other way.
I briefly considered that
I had a brain parasite,
(audience laughing)
but that seems even more farfetched.
(audience laughing)
The only conclusion was love.
(Amy panting)
I know what's happening.
(audience laughing)
This is a panic attack.
Soccermama9 says to lie down
with your feet elevated.
- Okay.
(audience laughing)
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just because I love you
doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room.
(audience laughing)
- Okay, here.
(penny chuckles)
- I should note, I'm having
some digestive distress.
(audience laughing)
So if I excuse myself
abruptly, don't be alarmed.
Oh!
A napkin.
(audience laughing)
- Turn it over.
- To Sheldon. Live long and prosper.
Leonard Nimoy.
(audience cheering)
(audience applauding)
- Yeah, he came into the restaurant.
Sorry the napkin's dirty,
he wiped his mouth with it.
(audience laughing)
- I possess the DNA of Leonard Nimoy?
(audience laughing)
- Yeah, yeah, I guess.
But look, he signed it.
- Do you realize what this means?
(audience laughing)
All I need is a healthy ovum
and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy.
(audience laughing)
