Body Language Mistakes
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So, imagine this, you’re at a party having
a great time. Making a really deep connection.
This could be your future wife. Maybe your future business partner.  Maybe both.
and then, all of a sudden your phone buzzes.
And what do you do?
It’s habit, you reach in you just grab your
phone, you check, oh, you’ve got some messages,
you start going through.
What have you done?
You’ve just broken that connection.
In today’s video, gents, we’re talking
about body language mistakes that men make
and how to avoid them.
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Mistake number one.
Always checking that phone.
You get a text message, you get an email,
you get a phone call, you’re checking that
phone.
It’s a habit and you cannot get away from
this.
You’re addicted.
And why are you addicted?
Because it’s like a slot machine.
It doesn’t matter actually who is calling,
you know that there’s a chance it could
be a great call it could be a great text.
But, guys, here is the issue is that you are
breaking the connection with real people.
When you bring up this phone, you’ve broken
the connection.
So, how to break this habit?
Well, guys, it’s hard.
You’re addicted to the phone.
First thing, you’ve got to admit that.
Next up, can you actually resist it?
Can you put this in your pocket and just simply
ignore the buzzing and check it when you have
a chance when you’re off by yourself?
Or is it something that you need to turn the
phone off?
Whatever it is, guys, make sure to do it,
you don’t want to break those real world
connections.
Body mistake number two.
Bad posture.
And it’s getting worse and worse and worse.
Why?
Because we’re addicted to our screens, we’re
constantly hunched over looking at our screens.
Or you’re sitting at your computer looking
at a screen.
And guess what?
Your shoulders start to go forward and all
of a sudden you start to walk like this, you
start to basically hunch over.
You’re sitting in a chair that doesn’t
promote proper posture.
So, how to fix your posture?
Guys, there are a number of exercises that
you can do throughout the day or in the gym
in the morning.
I know for me, my shoulders actually started
to move forward and what I’m doing is I’m
actually taking a stretch band and I’m doing
exercises like this and what it’s doing
is working my back muscles.
In addition, I’m jumping up on the pull-up
bar knocking out some pull-ups.
Try to be consistent.
Again, building up the back muscles, so it
naturally pulls my shoulders back.
Now, for some of you guys it’s going to
be a hunchback maybe a hunched over neck,
so you’re going to want to go see a specialist.
Get the exercises that are going to help you.
Guys, you can talk to a chiropractor, maybe
go and see a bone and joint specialist, but
make sure that you’re addressing this before
it’s too late.
The next body language mistake, crossing your
arms.
Guys, we do this all the time.
We stand in the back, we cross our arms because
we need to put our arms somewhere.
No, you know what we’re sending?
We’re sending the signal do not approach
me.
I don’t want to talk to anyone.
If that’s the case, then cool, you’re
sending the messages.
But, for many of us, we want to be approached,
we want to speak to people and, yet, we’ve
developed this habit.
Don’t close yourself off.
Next up, gents, we’ve got the handshake.
One of the most common greetings out there
in the world, but here’s the issue with
it, it’s got to be just right.
And I know some of you guys have huge hands
with big strong muscles, guess what?
You don’t want to be crushing people’s
hands.
On the other hand, you don’t want to be
that limp fish.
So how do you correct?
Whenever I don’t get a good grip and I don’t
give a good handshake, I do it again and say,
you know what?
Let me do that again, I want to give you a
good handshake.
Because I want to set the tone that I pay
attention to the small, but important details.
The next body language mistake that people
make is they have no gestures whenever they’re
talking.
When you don’t have any gestures, you don’t
have any show of emotion with your hands,
you look like a robot.
Now, that was an extreme version, but there’s
many of you guys that do that.
Now, what about going all over the place?
You don’t need to do that either.
I’m not talking in – there is an extreme
on both ends.
What you’re looking for is the happy medium.
Now, there is that joke about, you know, you
want an Italian to shut up, you simply tie
up his hands.
I do agree, it depends on the culture.
It’s something you got to pay attention
to.
In Japan, less gestures with your hands.
In the United States, it’s a happy medium,
but make sure find out what works for the
culture you’re in and then adapt to it.
Whoa!
Stop!
Hold on!
Before I go further into the video, gents,
I want to let you know over at RealMenRealStyle.com,
that’s my website.
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Why?
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So, guys, I made this information all free
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Go grab it.
I’m linking to it down in the description.
The next body language mistake that people
make is that they fidget.
They have these little ticks these little
things that they don’t even notice that
they’re doing.
Maybe it’s their legs is bouncing up and
down, one hand is twirling a pen.
The issue with people when they fidget is
it draws and it distracts and it can take
away from the point you’re trying to make.
The next body language mistake.
Your feet not pointing in the right direction.
Your feet actually tell where you’re going
to be going or where you want to go.
So, when you’re speaking with someone, you
want to show you’re giving them your full
attention, make sure that your feet are pointed
towards them in a general direction.
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But, what you don’t want to do is all of
a sudden have your feet pointing in a different
direction.
So, even though I’m looking still at you,
you can tell that my torso is turning over
and that’s what your feet do.
Whenever you start to get feet pointed in
a different direction, all of a sudden your
entire torso turns and that sends the signal
I want to leave I want to go out of here.
Now, sometimes you do want to end the conversation
or better said escape that conversation, so
you can subconsciously send the message that
you want to leave by actually pointing your
feet away.
The point I’m making here is make sure it’s
a controlled situation.
You don’t want to be sending a signal that
you don’t mean to.
The next body language mistake men make is
that they point.
Guys, be very careful when you point.
This actually can make some people upset in
certain cultures is very bad manners and people
don’t like getting pointed at even if it’s
for a good thing.
So, how do you actually talk about somebody?
And, yes, I know we all talk about people.
So, how about use the military terms; look
at your twelve o’clock, go check your six
o’clock, check your three o’clock, your
five o’clock.
It works and it’s much more subtle.
Now, this next mistake really depends on the
culture, but let me – let’s get close.
Maybe a little bit too close, right?
Guys, we’ve all got something called personal
space.
This is really culture-dependent, but you’ve
got to understand this because if you enter
somebody’s personal space, they will not
like it.
Now, obviously we want to get close to certain
people after we’ve been talking to them
for awhile, but understand if you enter it
too soon, that person can reject you very
quickly and push you away.
The next body language mistake that most people
make is they don’t understand the power
of mirroring.
And this is when you’re looking at the body
language of another person that you’re talking
with and especially if you find that they’re
standoffish, mirror their own body language.
Even if they’re closed off, if you are talking
with them and you’re a bit closed off, they’re
like, this person is like me and then, they
start to open up, then guess what?
You need to open up.
If they’re holding a drink, you’re holding
a drink.
People like people that are like them and
you can use this to your advantage.
Next up, let’s talk about leaning.
So, when you lean towards somebody, you’re
showing interest.
When you lean away from them, you’re showing
disinterest.
Just be aware of this.
It may be something they’re invading your
personal space and, yeah, you’re trying
to lean away because they’ve got bad breath,
but what you don’t want to do is you really
are paying attention to somebody and you lean
back and you cross your arms over, guess what?
You’re sending the signal I’m not really
interested, I don’t want to be here.
Next up, let’s talk about physical objects.
So, I talked about phones breaking connections,
but glasses can do this as well.
So, if you’re drinking a coffee, you’ve
got a glass of water, you want to be careful
because if you hold it up high, it is going
to break that connection.
It’s better to actually put it down.
Now, yes, if you’re marrying them I guess
you could hold the glass of water, but it’s
something you got to pay attention to those
small things.
Next up, checking the time on your watch.
Now, I like watches because you can discreetly
check the time.
But, what you don’t want to do is all of
a sudden pull it right up there and, boom,
check the time.
Because what are you doing?
You’re sending the signal I’ve got to
be somewhere else I got to get out of here.
Now, let’s talk about one of the most important
parts of body language which is eye contact,
but guess what, guys?
This is too much for just one video, so I’ve
got you covered with another video, twenty
one eye contact mistakes.
If you like today’s video, you’re going
to love this one because I go into a lot of
detail.
I go over twenty one mistakes that men are
making when it comes to eye contact.
And, yes, gentlemen, this video is for us
guys because we make some stupid mistakes
when it comes to eye contact like when we’re
talking to her and we are not looking at her
eyes.
Yes, I talk about that.
So, guys, check it out.
I’m linking to it down in the description.
And bonus point.
Did anyone notice my pocket square disappeared
and slipped into the pocket?
I didn’t mean to send any signal there.
It just happened.
All right, gentlemen.
That’s it.
Now, it’s your turn.
I want to hear from you down in the comments.
What did I miss?
What could I have added to this video to make
it better?
Again, I want to hear from you guys.
And if you’re new to Real Men Real Style,
make sure to subscribe.
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Gentlemen, that’s it.
Take care.
I will see you in the next video.
This pocket square keeps disappearing.
Look at that.
I should have gone full crazy, right?
It’s a small pocket square, so I don’t
know.
What do you guys think looks better?
I probably should have gone with this look
the entire video.
Oh, well, I guess for the next one, right?
See you guys.
Take care.
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