

## KENNY

Kenny

By Robbie Byrnes

Copyright @2014 Robbie Byrnes

At Smashwords
Prologue

With a soft hiss the priest opened the sliding screen door in the confessional booth. He intoned . . .

'In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.'

'Bless me father, for I have sinned. It's been two weeks since my last conf. ( _choke_ ). .confession, and, and . . . father, I need help. ( _Pause_ ) I can't control myself. At least, I don't think I can. I try, but every time I look at them, they . . . they're so beautiful. I just want to touch . . . to hold. But then ( _sounding anguished_ ) I get overwhelmed with lust, and . . . and . . . father, I just can't help myself.'

There was a silence interrupted by the sound of soft sobbing. The priest waited until the penitent had composed himself.

'My son, why don't you just tell me what's troubling you. Out with it. It's better to be candid for only then I can help you, and getting your problems out is the best way to deal with them. It also takes a large burden off your soul. But as a practicing Catholic you know that don't you?' Remember, Jesus forgives all our sins if we have the courage to admit to them.'

'Yes father, I do but I'm ashamed and, and . . . frightened. It's getting worse – I'm afraid that I'll do something bad - really bad.'

'Just tell me; unburden your conscience. Take your time . . . when you're ready. Sometimes when we bottle up our problems they become more serious than they really are.'

Silence; then,

'I'm a year 9 & 10 teacher at a boy's college and I've become infatuated with the boys at the school, ( _pause_ ) particularly the aborigine boys. They're so beautiful, so carefree, so open, and so warm. Their eyes . . . their dark brown eyes are so . . . appealing. At ( _talking quickly_ ) night I become aroused just thinking about them. My loving turns to lusting, so much so that I can't control my urges.' But there's one . . . '

'Did you say you're a teacher, a teacher of 14 year old boys, and you want to molest them?'

'Yes father, yes I do; but I don't really molest them because I give them money for their services. There's one boy who's special; he's not a full blood aborigine, and he's so beautiful. I carry his image with me all my waking moments. I watch his every movement in class, on the playground and on the sports field. He's driving me crazy. In my mind I imagine him naked, lying on his stomach with his gorgeous buttocks open and inviting . . .'

'Stop . . . stop there! I don't want to listen to your details; just your confession. ( _Pause_ ) Try and accept Jesus into your heart and ask for forgiveness. You and these boys are all in danger. I can give you absolution if you truly repent your sins. Tell me, do you believe you'll take action on your perversion? Do you think you'll harm any of these boys and succumb to your lust?'

'I don't . . . (sob) know father. I don't want to . . . but I think I'm losing control. Please . . . please help me.'

'My son, all I can do is help you mend your soul, and hopefully rid yourself of these impure and obscene thoughts. God will not forgive you if you act on your unhealthy desires. Do you understand?'

There was silence in the confessional before the priest continued,

'We can say an act of contrition together, but as a teacher, you know you're betraying your duty of care, as well as perusing acts that are illegal under the law. I can't help you there. You must seek professional help. I'll give you absolution only if you promise to undertake counseling. Is that understood?'

'Thank you father, yes, yes I do.'

'Good! For your penance, say ten our fathers and ten hail Maries. Now, then let's say the Act of Contrition together'

' _Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my sins because . . .'_

♂♂

Father O'Brien waited sometime after the penitent had departed before leaving the confessional. It would not do to be face to face, especially on a matter as contentious as pedophilia.

Had he emerged sooner, he might have seen the penitent climb into his car, divest himself of his casual garb, and don regular clerical attire.

But thankfully he did not. As he crossed in front of the alter he genuflected before proceeding to his living quarters. His curate, Father James was preparing a cup of tea.

'Sit. Sit you down father, the tea's brewing; won't take a minute. You look like you need some sustenance – a troubling confessional?' Father James lilting Irish brogue seemed almost musical to the ears.

'In many ways yes, in many ways. There are times when being a priest and trying to live with the seal of the confessional is a burden too large to bear; especially for one person.'

There was silence as Father James pushed a now steaming cup of tea towards Father O'Brien. The curate did not want to intrude on a clearly troubled mentor.

'Yes, I can understand. Often, whilst we let our penitents unburden themselves to us before God all that really happens is that they transfer their problems onto ourselves. To be sure it's unfair because we end up living with a problem on our conscience.'

'Exactly', agreed Father O'Brien as he sipped his steaming hot tea. 'Exactly. Just now I heard something that I should report to the police, but I can't. Damn! Damn it!'

There was silence as Father James gently stirred his tea and Father O'Brien stared morosely into his teacup.

'Aarh, have done with it now father. There's not a thing you can do. Let it be. It's a good man you are father; don't distress yerself so.'

'Easy to say, oh so easy to say. I only wish I could. I have a feeling . . . a bad feeling that this will come back to me soon in a way that will affect not only you and I, but the whole community.'
Chapter One

Kenny pulled into the closest available parking space, turned off the ignition and settled back with a sigh of relief. The drive from Melbourne since mid-morning to this part of South Gippsland was not long, but he'd driven all the way without a stop.

He surveyed the spreading Marist Brothers College and the adjacent (St. Bridget's) nunnery which dominated this small Victorian country town of Waterford. The grounds certainly were spacious and well-kept with flower beds and some ornamental trees. He gave a mental tick to the gardeners.

_Fuck! Well this is it. After all the exchanges of letters and phone calls, I'm about to experience cold reality. Is this the only way to recover from a messy love affair? Who knows? If there is a manual on how to deal with heartbreak then I'd like to know. Am I being a coward and running away or being courageous? (_ Sigh _) I guess there's only one way to find out._

♂♂

Kenny climbed the wide entrance steps that opened into the main foyer. It was quiet and strangely deserted even at this time of the afternoon. From around a corner a 'mousey' young woman appeared, carrying what looked to be text books.

'I'm looking for Brother Dominic; can you tell me where he might be?'

Following the young woman's directions he found himself fronting a door marked PRINCIPAL. He knocked on the door and a gruff voice bid him 'enter'!

Opening the door he came face to face with a veritable she-dragon. Two ferocious eyes stared at him through pearly rimmed reading glasses.

'Can I help you? Said she, with a voice that was pure venom.

'Um. My name is Kenny Jones . . . from Melbourne. I'm the new teacher and. . '

'You're early. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow. Did you get the time wrong?'

'Umm, no. I just thought I'd come early so I could settle in before I start classes. Is it a problem?'

'Only that the Headmaster is a very busy man and he can't just drop his schedule to talk to some inconsiderate wretch who doesn't have the courtesy of keeping to an appointed time.'

Now Kenny had a way of dealing with these females. Mentally he stripped her naked. No bras, no make-up, no girdle, no panties. And what an ugly sight. Riddled with cellulite; her tits hung down like used condoms; her wide fat hips overflowed around her girth and her face looked like a saggy gorgon. He had to suppress a smile as she self-importantly flounced into the Principal's office . . . of course, without knocking.

Returning, she grudgingly ushered Kenny into the Headmaster's office where he was greeted with a warm handshake and invited to sit. Kenny studied his new boss; even seated Brother Dominic looked tall and studious. Sitting back in his chair, Kenny could feel his intelligent eyes observing him. When he eventually spoke it was with a calm and resonant voice.

"Welcome Mr. Jones, welcome. You are impressively early. Did you have a good journey?"

'Umm yes, thank you. I hope I'm not intruding or being rude by turning up early.'

'If you had difficulty with my secretary, please don't be concerned. She likes to unsettle all newcomers. Really, she's all bark and no bite. Can I offer your some tea or coffee?

'Well she was a little daunting,' said Kenny somewhat relieved. 'I only wanted to get settled before classes commenced; and no thanks I don't need any refreshments just now.'

Kenny started to feel relaxed; he leaned back and placed his arm around his chair.

'Good, good. Just give me a moment to . . . to locate your file ( _pause_ ). . . Aarh, here it is. Now let's see. You went to Frankston high and then started Teacher College training before being interrupted by your career as a rookie for the Saint Kilda Football Club.' Brother Dominic looked up to observe Kenny's affirmative nod. Then,

'And after retiring from football you completed your Teacher College studies. Following graduation you spent a year with Frankston Secondary College. This brings us to now. Have I summed up your career correctly?'

'Yes', Kenny agreed. 'That's about it I guess'.

Putting down his reading glasses, Brother Dominic peered at Kenny with a small smile.

'We all admire your football exploits here; we are indeed lucky to have someone so famous. Tell me, do you miss playing football?'

Sitting back with his arm around the back of the chair, Kenny gave a small laugh before responding,

'I miss playing footy. Yes, I love the game and do miss it; but what I don't miss is the training. These days only young guys can keep up with the heavy schedule demands. I'm happy to just watch.'

'Well, as you probably know we encourage football here. Our school has been prominent in developing the sport with boys and has enjoyed some success. But I'm sure you're aware of this. '

Kenny just nodded, as Brother Dominic continued,

'Our sports master is Brother Michael, and I'll introduce you when we're finished talking. It's my hope that you could perhaps share some of your practical match experience with him and our boys. Brother Michael does not have the personal track record that you do.'

'I'll try and help out in any way that I can. However, I'm not here for footy. I want to resume my teaching career and hopefully become a better teacher. I love kids and get a kick by helping them achieve their full potential. And I'm here for as long as you want me.'

Brother Dominic nodded his approval, but then he seemed to become uneasy, almost embarrassed. After a moment's pause,

'I must reluctantly bring up the subject of your sexual preference.' Kenny went to interrupt but,

'No. No . . . please let me finish. This is indeed awkward for me. You are the first openly gay teacher we've ever had at this school. Many people are against your coming so I have to warn you that you may face some unpleasantness. The Catholic Church in particular is against homosexuality and it's only been recently that our attitudes have softened. Unfortunately, not only your teaching skills are on trial but your personal conduct will face scrutiny.'

'Do you relay the same message to 'straight' teachers when they start at the college? After all, surely a heterosexual teacher presents the same danger when teaching young girls as do homosexual teachers?'

There was a moment of awkward silence and Kenny realized he should not be so aggressive with Father Dominic. Perhaps he'd gone too far; but surely he had the right to defend himself! Adopting a conciliatory tone he uttered,

'Look sir, I didn't mean . . .'

'No Kenny, you are quite right; I should not have made an issue of your sexuality. It was very wrong of me . . . very wrong. I do apologize. Please accept my apology.'

Kenny nodded his acceptance, as Father Dominic continued,

'Now, please put all that behind us and come with me to find Brother Michael.

♂♂

They found Brother Michael on the school sports ground, where he was putting the school footy team through some basic muscle conditioning. The sports master was a man in his late thirties who obviously, even with his baggy track attire, kept himself in good shape. He had a full head of black hair parted, in an old fashioned way on the side. His face was craggy like a boxer who had had one too many fights. But his eyes were cold; a cold grey that seemed not to carry any warmth. But when he smiled his features softened.

His handshake was firm and masculine - almost friendly. With Br. Dominic looking on they exchanged pleasantries and Kenny began to relax. He offered,

'It's a real pleasure to meet you Brother Michael; I've been hearing how successful you've been with the lads.'

'Thank you Kenny; please drop the 'Brother' and call me simply Mike, everyone does. Yes we've got a good team and we'll benefit from your match experience. The boys know about you joining us and they're enthusiastic to meet with you. There's a couple of youngsters who have caught my eye and I'm giving them special attention. I'd like your opinion.

With that Br. Dominic interrupted with,

'Now that you two have met I'll be off to attend to other matters' Turning slightly he remarked to Kenny,

'Brother Michael is very good with the boys, and I'm sure Kenny that you'll give him your earnest help'; and then walked away.

But once he was out of hearing, the atmospherics changed. Brother Michael took a step backwards and placed his hands on his hips. Gone were the friendly smile and the warmth he generated before. His eyes grew cold and he stared at Kenny with a look of utmost contempt.

'Let me make myself clear, crystal clear. You disgust me. You're a freak. If ever I suspect you of unwarranted attention to any boy – or boys. I'll not only beat you to within an inch of your life but I'll hand you over to the police. I'll ruin you; I'll see that you spend the rest of your miserable life as some piece of filth's bitch. In the eyes of god you're evil, sick, depraved, and not even disserving of pity. Do you understand me, have I made myself clear?'

'No, not really; I wasn't paying too much attention. I'm off to update my 'Working with Children' accreditation at the local police station. Will you tell the headmaster I might be half an hour late tomorrow morning. Thanks . . . Mike'; and walked off leaving the Sports master fuming. Then spying Billy Yorta close by Br. Michael yelled,

'Yorta . . . get back to the team before I put my boot up your scrawny, black abbo arse.

♂♂

Kenny had an option of choosing a flat or a semi-detached for his personal use and he opted for the latter. He loved having space around him. The house was completely furnished; not exactly for his liking but it'd do for the time being. At breakfast his thoughts wandered to Br. Mike's outburst.

_Well, at least I know where I stand with the cunt. What a two-faced shit he is; friendly in company, but a bigoted homophobe when no one's around. I wonder what makes him tick. Being celibate is unnatural; I bet he beats off when alone, fanaticizing over some juicy chick. I'll still have to watch him though – he could be trouble_.

His most immediate task was to visit the local cop's shop and update his 'Working with Children' permit which he had kept current throughout his footy career. Walking through the main doors he headed for the enquiry counter. The room beyond was full of old battered desks with uncomfortable chairs, many of which were unoccupied. Over in a corner several youngish uniformed male cops were drinking coffee and chatting.

Immediately he was welcomed by a young female constable with blond hair pulled back into a ponytail. She had an open friendly face and a soft pleasing voice.

'How can we help you?

'Um . . . I'm a new teacher at the Marist College, and I want to present my 'Working with Children' certificate. I know this is not mandatory but I reckon I should do this anyway.' He felt the constable, whose name tag read 'Senior Constable Meadows', appraising him.

'Your face is familiar. Do I know you from somewhere? I reckon I'm good at face recognition. And then the light dawned,

'You're Kenny Jones, Kenny Jones who plays for St. Kilda, right?'

'Yep ( _a little self-consciously_ ), that's me. I'm retired now and am continuing my teaching career.'

'Wow, Kenny Jones in person. I'm a great fan; been a Saints supporter for many years now. God, wait till I tell my old man that I've met Kenny Jones. Can I have your autograph?'

'Happy to oblige. Tell me your hubby's name then I'll get a footy and autograph it for him.'

'Nah, meant my dad. No husband – and not likely to be. My pop will go bonkers to have an autographed footy by Kenny Jones; can't wait to tell him. By the way, my name's Gloria. Geeze, I can't believe it, Kenny Jones in person.'

The conversation was overheard by the group of young cops and they broke away to join Kenny and (senior) Constable Meadows. They all wanted to shake Kenny's hand and compliment him. Seems that while they supported different teams they as one, respected his on-field skills. There was a lot of laughter and friendly jibes thrown around; Constable Meadows it seems was accepted as 'one of the boys'. Kenny was in the middle of retelling the tale of the drawn Grand Final against Collingwood when,

'What the hell's going on? This is a police station unless you haven't noticed. I could hear the racket out back. Someone better explain – now!'

Kenny paused and turned round to face the direction of the menacing voice. All conversation had died. Then before he could do anything further the voice continued,

"Aha, Kenny Jones. How are you Kenny? Heard you were coming to our town . . . remember me?' Now Kenny turned to face the voice and gulped . . . Laurie Cree. It was Laurie Cree, a lot older but still the same and - Sergeant Laurie Cree no less! Into the stony silence that had gripped everybody Kenny managed,

'Laurie . . . Laurie Cree. 'It's been a long time: haven't seen you since we were kids. How long has it been . . . 15 years? You're looking good.' This last sounded pathetic.

'Don't bullshit me! Life sucks! But here we are again; and if you think I've mellowed over time – think again. Being the famous footballer doesn't gel with me; you're still the 'pretty boy' I used to beat every time we fought.' And turning 'round to the onlookers, he barked,

'Get back to work – all of you; Get cracking; NOW!'

Then, with a slight inclination of his head, he indicated his corner office and requested Kenny to,

'Come . . . let's talk.'

The Laurie Cree of old had not changed and this was evident in the plain, almost stark furnishings creating an atmosphere that reeked of testosterone and the stale smell of unwashed flesh. In this room authority prevailed – and supposedly, justice dispensed.

Inviting Kenny to sit, Sergeant Cree leaned forward with his elbows on the desk. Laurie Cree was an ugly person to look at because all his features were oversized. His nose was too big; his ears too large; the mouth too wide and the face too fleshy; and his eyes seemed to smolder with barely repressed anger. Over all he looked punch drunk. Compared to Kenny, Laurie Cree was just plain unattractive. Perhaps this was why he always bullied Kenny at school.

Cree leaned back and surveyed Kenny with cold eyes.

'From when we were kids, we have history . . . bad history, don't we? And now you're in my town, a self-exposed pervert, the agro between us continues. I must admit though, you fight well for a queer. When I heard that you were going to teach at the college, I was outraged and let my feelings known to Br. Dominic . . .' He paused and leaned forward with his elbows on the desk . . .

'. . . but it seems that because of the anti-discrimination laws I can't publicly reproach you; but we're alone now; just you and I, and I must tell you that I regard all poofters and their unnatural practices . . . disgusting! You put one . . . just one foot wrong, and I'll have you charged and incarcerated to the full extent of my authority. You copy?'

'Laurie, putting aside your remarks about my sexuality, why just why, do you still harbor this antagonism towards me. I say to you, that you would've still hated me even if I were straight.' Now Kenny leaned forward so that their faces were very close. 'Isn't it about time we stopped acting like children and treat each other as adults? And I'd also add . . . start respecting each other.' When Cree started to interrupt, Kenny continued,

'No, let me finish. You're the senior cop and I'm just a teacher at the local school. There, it that's simple . . . let's not complicate our relationship beyond that. There's no need.'

'No need you say no need! I can't ignore that you're a fag, a queer, and in my eyes a threat to young boys – boys that come under your duty of care. If I ignored that I wouldn't be doing my duty . . .'

As Cree was talking Kenny thought,

. . . He hasn't grown up in the last fifteen years. There's no reasoning with him; he still enjoys being antagonistic. One day I must get in touch with Jeff, his young brother, and find out what makes Cree so unpleasant. It's not natural to harbor all this rage for so long. Jeff is someone I can talk to. We used to be very good friends.

'. . . and my duty is very clear, to rid this town of all deviates, sexual predators and their unnatural practices. I try to make my own family an example to all. I have a wife and two boys who make me very proud. It's why the people in this community look up to me. If I find out that any one of your kind molests any one of my boys, I'll kill them – and bugger the consequences. I gave Constable Meadows the same warning I'm giving you.'

'Laurie,' Kenny said getting up, 'If you're determined to continue this antagonism then knock yourself out. Wallow in it if you will; I'm getting on with my life and to hell with your hatred.'

And he then walked out into the absolute silence of the reception area. A soft voice said,

'Kenny . . .' Turning around he saw that Senior Constable Meadows was holding a piece of paper which he took before striding angrily out of the police station.

♂♂

' . . . I told you not to call me on this line; it's too dangerous. Emailing is better, as long as you immediately delete our exchanges.'

'I know, I know. But I just had to tell you that I've been contacted by another who shares our passion for young people. And don't think emails are secure; even deleted emails can be brought back to life. I've just had another amazing time with the abbo boy and I just had to tell someone.'

'What, are you referring to the new recruit or your encounter with the boy?'

'The boy of course; he really knows what to do with a cock. It gets better every time we meet. And I know his parents don't mind; all they can think about is the money I give them. I'm starting to believe he's gay like me; he responds enthusiastically to my advances. I get hard just thinking about it!'

'Mmmm . . . just go quietly; don't overdo the relationship. What we're doing is very dangerous but if we're careful we won't get caught. If we're careful . . . do you understand?'

'Yes, yes. What about you. Have you had any adventures lately?'

'Not physical. No, and I'm getting frustrated. But I've got my eye on a young abbo girl who walks home alone after school. Like you, their soft velvety skin makes me go weak at the knees. By the way, is our new friend gay, or straight like me?'

'Does it matter? He's a pedophile just like you and I.

Kenny

‎His earliest memories were of his grandmother and the way she would cuddle him and wrap him in her arms as they snuggled together in her double bed. The warmth and feel of her large silky undies (then called bloomers) made him feel comfortable and secure. She always smelt of some sweet fragrance.

She possessed a large copy of Irish history, heavily bound with embroided Celtic runes which she read to him until they both fell asleep. He became obsessed with the stories of Brian Boru, the hill of Tara and Ulster the royal province. The legendry hero Cú Chulainn entranced him with his exploits of bravery, fighting evildoers and, eventually, suffering a hero's death.

Being a fierce catholic, she would whisper of the coming of Saint Patrick, how he expelled all the snakes and creepy creatures from Erin as well as installing (or imposing) the Catholic Church in Erin's Isle.

In later years she would eagerly await the regular production of the Catholic Weekly, following him and reading segments aloud. If he wasn't listening, she would roll up the paper and bash him over the head.

As he got older, he found that going to mass was boring and secretly started to go to the Protestant's Sunday school. Here he would be told stories and assist in making baskets and other stuff; this was far more interesting than sitting in a cold and drafty church listening to the priest mumble in Latin and then sermonizes against everything that was fun. No, the Sunday school was more fun, but there was a price to be paid. His grandmother found out.

That's where the shit hit the fan!

With much wailing and shouting he was consigned to his room for several days, and then had to be escorted to mass every Sunday with his grandmother. Strangely enough, his mother (Claire) didn't go to Mass and he felt shitty that she got off whereas he had to be punished for having fun.

With this early indoctrination, it was with extreme difficulty that in later years he discarded his faith; he saw through all the lies and deceptions that were part of Catholic brain washing.

But he loved the old bird and when she died he felt as is some part of his childhood, died with her.

Looking back over his early years his childhood was very unhappy. His parents were always fighting and as he got older it became worse. There were times when he fervently wished they would separate so that at least he could enjoy some happiness with either parent, without all the pain.

It gradually became so bad that on several occasions his father tried to kill himself. On one of these occasions he locked himself in the laundry, turned on the gas water heater, and tried to gas himself. Kenny, perhaps only nine or ten, had to break the door down to stop his father's attempted suicide.

At other times his parents would fight and he'd have to physically defend his mother by striking his father. On one of these occasions his uncle was called in to help and when the drama settled down, his uncle told him to 'get out'- to leave home as soon as he was old enough.

What was all the drama about? He never knew. But he did come to realize that his mother was very free with her tongue and if she was crossed, it would lead to brutal emotional outbursts. At times as he grew older, he would come home from school to find her (conveniently) stretched out on the hallway floor pretending to have passed out. Other times, she would simply leave a note saying that she was going away and not to come looking for her - which of course he did. She always managed to be found.

But there was another aspect of his childhood that he had to endure. Next door to where they lived in Frankston, there was the family Cree. The father was a brute named Bert Cree who was a bastard to his wife, Irene. There were two sons, Laurie and Jeff and a younger daughter, Rita.

The eldest, Laurie was a thug like his father but the younger Jeffry was as unlike his elder brother as chalk was to cheese. The little sister never featured in any of the drama.

For some reason there was bad blood between the Joneses and the Cree's. No one told Kenny what the feud was about. Several times the angst would arise at school and Laurie Cree would challenge Kenny to a fight after school. The whole school (Frankston Primary) would know about the challenge and (usually outside the school grounds) a ring of spectators would form and Laurie and Kenny would go at it.

Cree mostly won, being a lot bigger and Jeffry would go home battered and humiliated. Strangely, his mother, rather than administering to his wounds, would admonish him for not winning the fight. On the rare times he did win (by luck) she wouldn't say a word . . . just act smug.

What was the feud about? He never knew; it was just there, and being a child he had enough to handle with his mother's verbal viciousness, his father's suicidal attempts, and the hostility of Laurie Cree, to ever wonder if all of these unhappy travails weren't related. It would be years before he would be able to relate them.

And he had his own problems to contend with. For some reason he couldn't sit on a toilet seat to defecate; he had to squat on the seat. He tried sitting but it actually prevented him from functioning. One day, an aunt walked in on him whilst in this unusual position and she hit the roof. His secret was out and he was made to sit on the seat. Why he did this neither he nor anyone else knew- it just was. And it was an uncomfortable long time before he could use the toilet seat as it was intended.

But by then, he was starting to feel different- nothing explicit . . . just different. He became something of a loner and wandered around the local bush by himself rather than with the company of others. Perhaps it was that with such an unhappy home life he sought his own company.

But with other boys of similar ages there was the growing problem of sexuality. One day whilst performing his defecation he found his Willy had grown hard. Several times lately he had woken in the morning to find a strange discharge over his bed sheets and wondered what was causing it.

But this day he found himself with a very painfully hard penis and in order to relieve the pain he squeezed it firmly several times. All at once a terribly unfamiliar but pleasant feeling began to take hold of him and a strange fluid erupted from his Willy. He was terrified; he thought he was dying; he felt guilty; he felt extreme pleasure; and he didn't have a clue what had happened.

Who could he talk to? No one; certainly not his parents; certainly not his grandmother; certainly not his aunt; and definitely not the bloody priest; he was alone and the only boy in the whole world who had experienced this traumatic event. It had to be kept a secret. So in his solitary wanderings in the bush he would practice the same procedure, reveling in the pleasure it gave him. And never of course telling the priest who just wouldn't understand anyway!

Tucked away in the bush was an old abandoned water-filled quarry overlooked by a dilapidated tin shed. In summer, several of the boys in his street would gather at the quarry and stripping naked, would use the quarry pool as a swimming pond. In time the tin shed would become a clubhouse and the focal point for games such as cowboys and Indians; King Arthur and his knights of the round table; and hide and go seek.

They also investigated their sexuality by group wanking sessions, comparing their penis sizes and listening to tales of sexual misdeeds. It was naughty, dangerous, and thrilling. Members of the other sex were not invited, but those who had the misfortune to have sisters would describe the female anatomy, particularly how they had to pee. To Kenny, it seemed a silly way to perform a natural function and he was glad he could stand up and empty his bladder without having to squat.

When they talked about naked females he noticed almost all of the boys would become obsessed and flustered. They would suffer painful erections and go off in a corner to relieve themselves. They would start to tell dirty jokes and share observations about certain females they knew in the locality. Gradually, all talk about sex became fixated on females.

But not Kenny; nothing about the female form excited him as much as his interest and fascination in other boy's cocks. He found, to his terror, that whereas his friends were excited by girls he, the only boy in the world, was excited by the masculinity of his mates. He began to daydream of their erect penises and the need to fondle their members.

Around this time Jeff Cree, being a friend of one of the boys, came on the scene. Kenny was extremely wary of Jeff knowing the angst that existed between their families; he was not about to let anyone of the Cree family know about his secret secrets and thus give ammunition to Laurie the thug.

But gradually, he found Jeff soft-spoken and a little shy. He wasn't a leader as was Kenny, and before Kenny understood, Jeff had attached himself to Kenny. They started to enjoy each other's company. With Jeff, he went further with sexual experimentation than he'd done with other boys. Rather than driving them away from each other, the deep personal nature of their sexual experimentation drew them closer.

On one occasion, after a long wanking session, Kenny asked Jeff why Laurie was so hostile to him. All Jeff would say that he didn't have a clue. But being curious and wanting to impress Kenny and find out himself, one day Jeff asked his older brother why he was so belligerent towards Kenny Jones; all Cree would say was he was being egged on by his father, the most feared Bert Cree.

Apart from sex and females, the boys were intensely interested in footy. They would gather down at the local park practicing taking marks and kicking goals. Gradually, Kenny became aware that he had more skill than the other lads and when they formed teams, he became a natural leader. He was picked for the primary school team to play against other schools. The school coach, to Kenny's chagrin, made Kenny play in the midfield where he reckoned his marking and goal kicking skills were wasted. But the coach insisted, seeing in Kenny the ability to direct and steer the play from midfield.

As he got older, his footy skills became recognized and he played in the local peninsular league for Frankston, all the time being picked as a midfielder. But it didn't take long for him to find the next footy level; he was selected to play for the local VFL team, the Frankston Dolphins. After two seasons at Frankston he was noticed by St. Kilda Saints and became a regular player for the AFL team.

As he grew up he developed an intense interest in Teaching and went to Teachers college after leaving school. His Year twelve marks were excellent so he was accepted at the college because he readily filled all the entrance requirements.

But his home life continued to be a disaster. His mother continued to terrify and manipulate everyone with her emotional broadsides and he gradually became to hate her . . . really hate her. His father . . . well he became a pitiful old man who just endured his wife's outbursts. Kenny didn't know him; didn't like him; didn't respect him; didn't talk to him and didn't even talk about him; he simply ignored him. To Kenny, his father was a ghost.

But by his early teens he knew he couldn't control his urges. Being in contact with young healthy males in showers and dressing rooms was a challenge. To avoid suspicion, he dated many girls but always shied away from any physical contact; he became known as a 'gentleman'. His only outlet was grubby toilet blocks where gay men gathered but he hated going there; it was disgusting. Then he became aware of bathhouses that catered for homosexuals and he began to frequent these.

Because he was in good physical shape, with blond hair and good looking, he always connected with a partner, a partner of his choosing. Then one night he met Rickie and, at once, recognized him as a player from another footy team. Both boys were essentially trying to establish a relationship that would satisfy their sexuality without being exposed. It was more a relationship based on a common need rather than a true emotional encounter. Yes, he had other sexual adventures, as did Rickie, but they held together out of a shared necessity.

At times he found Rickie too hard to live with and he longed to come out of this stifling cubbyhole and be open with his sexuality. This resulted in many arguments with Rickie who was terrified about being exposed. It was at one of these increasingly hostile arguments that Rickie declared that if Ken decided to 'come out'; their relationship was at an end. He (Rickie) didn't understand that if Kenny declared himself, he wouldn't have any more need for Rickie.

So he 'came out'. He was astonished at everyone's reaction. His coach said,

'I've wanted you to do this for some time. We all knew Ken; we all felt sorry that you had to lie and tell tall tales. But I understand it's taken some guts to expose yourself. Remember this; your teammates respect you for your footy expertise but not only that, they really like you as a person. If you have any trouble with other players, let me know and we'll sort them out!' And an afterthought he added,

'I don't care who yer fuck as long as ya give me thirty plus possessions each week!'

Then he received the dreaded phone call from his mother.

'Son (whining voice), son; what have you done to me? Why are you telling people that your one of those deviates? That your one of those disgusting creatures who have turned their face against god and choose to live a life in mortal sin? Why son? I can't go out now because people will point at me and say that it's all my fault.'

'Mother, Claire . . .'

'Don't (angry) you dare interrupt me. I'm trying to help you gain salvation in the eyes of god. I've been talking to the priest and he says that if you come to confession and admit your sins and sinful ways, he will intercede with Jesus for you; it's (whining) not too late, son . . . promise me you'll come tomorrow and we'll go see the priest. No (fiercely) . . . don't interrupt. Why (hysterical) you choose to live this dreadful life style is beyond me. Naturally, your father is distraught and can't sleep. To have his son admit to the world that . . . that . . . he's . . . he's a deviate, well it'll kill him; and of course me!'

'Thank (reasonably) you for the call mother. I know the priest you're talking about; he sucked me off in the toilet block down by the beach last week. He gives great head! Tell him, if he wants me to fuck him, he should be down there around eleven tomorrow night, and I'll rape him. Now as to you and that man you're married to . . . go fuck yourselves!'

Then he hung up.

But he needed a break, a change. With the trauma of coming out, dealing with a recalcitrant Rickie, the emotional drain of his parents, and the fact that his best footy years were behind him, he needed a change; a 'sea change' as they say. Looking through the Age classifieds he noticed a position at a Marist Brothers college in Waterford in the Gippsland area of Victoria. It sounded perfect.

In the exchange of resumes and other correspondence he decided to be open and honest and told the principal that he was Gay. To his delight and not a little surprise, he was accepted.

So Kenny headed off to Waterford Marist Brothers College to start a new phase of his life.

Jeffry

One day when he was only four years old his grandmother told him very gently that his parents had gone away and wouldn't be coming back.

'Why? Why is my mummy and daddy not coming back? Where have they gone?'

'They have gone to God; God's taken them away to live with him . . .'

'Well tell Mr. God that I wants my mummy and daddy back. Tell 'im that If'n he don't give them back, I'll punch him.'

At this his Grandmother burst into tears and gently hugged the little boy who began to sob his heart out. For some reason, for the rest of his life, Jeffry felt anger towards his grandmother.

It was decided for him to go live with his aunt Irene who was his mother's sister. He didn't know his aunt very well but her husband Bert made little Jeffry afraid. He was very big and smelt bad. Also, he had an older cousin called Laurie and from the day Jeffry entered the Cree household, Laurie began to bully him. It usually ended up with Jeffry in tears and Laurie and father Bert, laughing at him.

Jeffry soon became aware that his aunt had little to say in family matters; big Bert ran the house like a Mafia boss. Being a sensitive child Jeffry became much attached to his aunt, perhaps because she was the only close family that he had. Of course, this made Laurie a little jealous and he goaded Jeffry at every opportunity. Laurie was also very willful which made him a regular candidate for Bert Cree's belt. Jeff would derive great pleasure in listening to the beating his cousin received; when Laurie started whimpering, Jeffry couldn't contain his delight.

One Christmas, Irene gave Jeff a Mechano set and he developed a love of building things, particularly when it involved moving parts. He would spend painstaking hours building and disassembling structures that were set out in the accompanying manual. It was no surprise therefore that, as he got older, he became fiercely interested in mechanical things; especially motor vehicles.

Bert Cree hated dogs, so his aunt brought Jeffry a little pooch on his ninth birthday. Of course the boss was outraged but Irene stood firm and the dog was allowed, but only to be kept outside. As the dog was the only friend he had in the world, he called the pooch 'Buddy'. Soon Jeff and the dog were inseparable; they played together; had races; ate together; explored the bush together and when the bastard Cree was not home, they slept together. For Jeff, this was the happiest time of his life.

Then someone gave the dog a meal laced with ground glass and little Buddy died a long and very painful death.

Jeffry was distraught; inconsolable; he wanted to die . . . and once again he blamed God. Why would God, who was supposed to be all things good, allow someone to do this evil deed and not be punished? Through all his tears and despair he kept asking 'Why?' There was no answer to the 'Why' and no answer to the 'Who?'

But, of course, there were candidates to both questions.

Being close to the Port Philip bay beaches, swimming became his sport of choice and he found that he had a natural talent for swimming - and competitive swimming. The school coach singled him out for special attention and he began to improve both in style and speed. But he didn't do well over long distances so the coach concentrated on fifty and one hundred-meter dashes. He swam in the team relay and was selected to swim the final leg which usually resulted in the team's success. He loved swimming; he loved the freedom of the water and as his body developed to a swimmers physique, he began to swim faster until his times made him a candidate for interstate swimming competitions.

But his personal life was going downhill. After Buddy was murdered he started to shun company. And then when in company, he was extremely shy; it was as if he didn't want to expose his real self to other people and this became more imperative as he got older. Like all young boys transiting puberty, he was alarmed by the changes in his body. His voice became deeper; he grew body hair around his Willy; he grew taller and then, worst of all, he began to be sexually aroused.

And there was no one he could turn to. Not Bert Cree; not his cousin Laurie; not his aunt; but maybe, just maybe, his coach. When he approached his trainer and asked the dreaded questions he was agreeably surprised. His questions were answered kindly, but he had to admit, he didn't understand anything the coach said; but he appreciated the effort.

Next door lived a family called Jones. It seemed the Jones' and Crees' were mortal enemies; there was definitely bad blood which often resulted in the Jones boy fighting his cousin Laurie. He felt sorry for Kenny Jones 'cause he was no match for Laurie the bully. Time after time, Jeffry watched as Kenny Jones limped away from a fight very much the worst for wear. But he never backed down, even when some of the kids told him to just cop the verbal abuse and not mix it physically with the thug.

He also felt sorry for Kenny because of his parents. The mother was a vicious harpy, and the father? Well he let his son do the fighting and never once backed him up. A real shit- head.

With all the bad atmospherics, he naturally stayed away from any contact with the Jones boy; he didn't want to get caught up in a feud that had nothing to do with him. Although he'd never talked to the boy next door he somehow recognized a kindred spirit. On the rare occasions he talked with Kenny Jones he found him quiet, sensitive and above all, interested in what people were saying; he was that rarest of individuals - a good listener.

But he had no time to dwell on anyone else's problems when he was battling his own demons. He recognized most of the physical changes the coach had told him about and dealt with then easily. But there was another change that he didn't understand. It had to do with his emotional attraction to others.

One of the lads in the swim team was a boy called Warren who also lived in the same street. They became friendly rivals and used their competitive nature to improve each other's performance. Warren was a good looking boy with a shock of blond hair and the physique of a swimmer; he was admired by both boys and girls, but he never seemed to play on his popularity to make friends.

At first Jeffry enjoyed the friendly rivalry but soon found that he was developing a deep emotional attraction to his friend. To his horror he became jealous of any girl who attached herself to Warren. Then he found that he resented other boys monopolizing Warren's time. And all the time he had to suppress his feelings in case they were misconstrued. But there was no misunderstanding his private dreams at night or when he was by himself. Consciously he knew he was falling in love with Warren and that realization caused him to panic.

What was going on? Instinctively he knew that boys shouldn't love nor have carnal thoughts about other boys, but he couldn't help himself. Every time they sat close together at training or in a social environment it was agony for Jeffry not to touch his friend.

So he suppressed all emotional feelings lest they betray him. He also decided never get close to any other male in case he exposed his predicament . . . his perversion.

It was Warren who introduced him to the gang at the quarry. Of course he knew the quarry pond existed but he was never asked to join in the frivolities with the other boys. Now, Warren's popularity was such that when he proposed Jeffry the other boys they accepted him readily.

It was fun! It was fun to get completely naked and swim without any cloths on. But it was more than just fun; it was freedom. Freedom to escape the heavy atmosphere at home; to get away from Laurie and to spend quality time with Warren and even share him with the other boys.

Then one day, into all this camaraderie came Kenny Jones, the boy next door.

Kenny had the same shock of blond hair as did Warren but there the similarities ended. Whereas Jeffry and Warren had sleek swimmers bodies, Kenny had a physique very much like the marble statues seen in museums. In a word, Kenny was beautifully built with a well-defined muscular physique. And, of course, his footy fame was recognized throughout the district. But their first meeting was very tentative.

Both boys offered polite hellos backed up by a hand-shake. Suddenly, Jeff Cree felt a surge of pleasure; a surge of pleasure that he hadn't experienced for some time. And it became clear over the ensuing weeks and months that Kenny Jones wasn't interested in rollicking with the other lads, instead he liked to sit and talk with Jeffry for hours. Of course, our Jeffry vowed not to show any outward sign of physicality; no, that would be disastrous.

But he longed to have physical contact with Kenny Jones. His dreams at night were full of fantasy scenarios where he would lie side by side with Kenny with their bodies touching. This then escalated to having a sex encounter with Kenny, usually resulting in a 'wet dream' as it was called. Each time he met with Kenny the sexual fantasies escalated.

Suddenly, he realized he hadn't thought about Warren for some months. It was Kenny, Kenny, and Kenny.

Then it happened. One morning after a nude swim they adjourned to the shed to dry themselves. When Kenny turned around, Jeff saw that he had an erection; an erection so stiff that it seemed like it would burst. As Jeffry ogled this masterpiece, Kenny asked,

'Can you help me, please? I'm sick of wanking myself off. Can you do it for me? . . . You know, to help another mate out! I'm (softly) in pain buddy.'

Jeff's heartbeat soared and his mouth went dry; his eyes locked on Kenny's cock which was leaking. He reached over and encircled Kenny's erection with his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. At once Kenny groaned and dropped to the ground, leaning his head against the wall; his breath came in short gasps; his eyes became unfocussed and his mouth went slack. Mimicking his own masturbation style he kneaded Kenny's penis, and gradually increased the tempo, all the while being careful not to squeeze too hard.

Kenny's pleasure was writ all over his face; he was emitting soft groans; he stared at Jeff without seeing him; and to Jeff's delight Kenny grabbed hold of him around the waist so that their bodies touched. But it was the absolute control and power that Jeff had over Kenny that excited him. Kenny was entirely in his hands; he was a captive to the pleasure that Jeff was delivering to him. This beautiful boy was his sex slave.

It didn't take too long before a sense of urgency arose in Kenny's groaning; he pleaded for Jeff to stroke him harder; his body started to thrash around; his groaning became louder and faster; he begged with Jeff not to stop and then , with a final loud yell of relief, he erupted all over Jeff's hand.

Jeff was mesmerized at the sight of so much goo; it was splattered over his hand and on Kenny's belly. This was an entirely new experience and he loved it. Memories of Kenny begging for release would stay with him for a long time. Oh Wow!

Within a minute, Kenny's shuddering had subsided and he mumbled a soft 'thank you'. Jeff was all too aware that his own penis was hard and wet. When Kenny gently took hold of his erection a wave of ecstasy engulfed him. Never before had anyone fondled his penis and it felt unbelievably good. Every time Kenny squeezed his cock he gasped; then his nipples became hard; his breathing became shallow and he could feel more juice dribbling from his shaft. With Kenny's arms around him he groaned when Kenny touched his nipples and gently squeezed them.

He couldn't last. He felt his orgasm approaching and warned Kenny that 'I'm coming'. He started to shudder and then climaxed by releasing his semen in spurts until he was well and truly empty.

It felt so good, and it was made all the better because it was their secret; a secret only they shared; a secret known only to them and no one else.

But nothing lasts forever. All the boys moved into their teen years and became girl-crazy. Kenny became more involved with playing footy and pursuing his teaching career whilst the Cree's moved from Frankston to Waterford, a country town in Victoria's Gippsland region.

Jeffry was never given a good reason for the move; that is, one that he could accept. Apparently, Il Capo Cree decided he wanted to branch out on his own and start an electrical business. He selected Waterford, because the town offered good prospects for a man starting out by himself. Well, that was the official line. Later on Jeffry found out that Papa Cree had been fired for bludgeoning a fellow worker over some trite incident. When you don't have good references you have no choice but to go it alone.

Not being a good student he decided not to enroll in the local Secondary College. His love of things mechanical impelled Jeffry to take up an apprentiship with a local car service provider. He was good; he was well liked; he was always ready to work overtime and was rewarded with a respectable wage.

But to Jeffry, life began to take a downward spiral. Living in a small town meant that you had to suppress any abnormal traits; he couldn't express his sexuality; he had no friends he could relax with; he had to live a lonely existence and he had to get married. If you didn't get married your cover was blown.

Laurie Cree found a nice country girl called Betty and, after a short time, they got married. By some irony of fate, Jeffry developed into a stud both in looks and physique and had no trouble finding partners; he was probably the most eligible bachelor in town. He began squiring a local girl called Cynthia and, to all the gossips, they looked a lovely pair. Being young and with a high sexual drive, Jeff was able to bring himself to have sex with Cindy. The first time he penetrated Cindy he felt euphoric and functioned so successfully that Cynthia had a very loud and prolonged orgasm. He suddenly conceded that having sex with a girl was far better than furtive groping's in damp and cold toilet blocks. He was cured! They got married!

They honeymooned on Queensland's Barrier Reef and he delighted in exploring Cindy's body, building up to urgent penetration, which then led to satisfying orgasms. No doubt, Cindy was good in bed and by the time they returned home they were as close as any couple could be. He was happy; life was good – as long as he didn't associate with Bert and Laurie Cree. What made matters worse was Laurie becoming a cop and eventually the Senior Sergeant of local police. Always a mongrel Laurie became unbearable and was universally hated by all.

As years passed Bert Cree began to drink himself into brutal aggressiveness; Irene copped most of it and if he didn't have his son running the cops, Bert would have been jailed. He eventually died and no-one mourned his passing. Irene suffered Dementia and had to be consigned to a nursing home; Jeffry and Cynthia were her only regular visitors. Starting a family was not a pressing imperative, as both he and Cindy wanted to enjoy their early married years free of any encumbrances. Betty, Laurie's wife had produced two boys and the question was always asked on their infrequent family gatherings as to when they would start a family. The answer was always 'soon'.

And Jeffry did enjoy the early years of marriage; he really believed that his marriage had cured him of any deviant tendencies. But as the honeymoon period wound down and the gloss faded, he began to experience unwelcome feelings and desires. They returned with a vengeance when a young constable called Jimmy, a superbly fit young blond, joined the Police. He tried to spend as much time as possible in Jimmy's company; at night he began to indulge in sexual fantasies with the boy. Of course this made him horny but he was able to disguise his passion by servicing Cindy.

Soon he was being pulled apart by conflicting demands; he needed to satiate his homosexual urges; at the same time maintain his heterosexual obligations to his wife; and keep up his heterosexual image socially. He almost went berserk when Jimmy started to go steady with a girl and was spending more time with her than Jeffry.

He was staring down a long dark tunnel without any light at the end. He turned to self-medication and became a maudlin drunk at the local RSL club; his sex life with Cindy slowly ebbed into nothing; his friends started to avoid him; his work began to suffer; and he took terrible risks by visiting toilet blocks at night. His marriage, before seen as a cure for his homosexuality, now held him imprisoned. He was splitting in two; there seemed no solution to his dilemma; he was without hope.

And it all came to a head one sunny afternoon at a BBQ organized by his cousin Laurie for all his staff. Jimmy and his girlfriend came and never left each other's side; they monopolized each other's time; they kissed and cuddled; they whispered endearments to each other; they touched and stroked, and they completely ignored Jeffry.

Jeffry endured it all until he couldn't stand any more. Suddenly, he started crying – inconsolable crying, then sobbing; deep racking sobs and then abruptly he slammed his fist on a table and started shouting (still sobbing), NO! . . . NO! . . . NO! Everyone was aghast; they scattered and watched as Jeffry collapsed. Cindy sensing something serious had happened called an ambulance which rushed him to hospital.

Laurie apologized to his guests and labeled his cousin as a 'weak little prick' . . . and 'good riddance'.

In the hospital Jeff lapsed into a catatonic trance and he was quickly consigned into the care of a psychiatrist. He was transferred to a mental institution and for several weeks underwent evaluation and psychiatric care. No one was allowed to visit him.

In an effort to get to the root of his problems, he was given Sodium Pentothal – the truth serum. So ashamed was he of admitting his homosexuality, it took several sessions with the drug for him to finally say the words 'I'm a poofter'. But when the effects of the drug wore off he felt ashamed; he imagined all the nursing staff were either laughing at him or expressing their disgust. His doctor seemed abrupt and Jeff took this as the man expressing his disapproval. So when the prospect of 'Aversion Therapy' was discussed he readily agreed. He just didn't know what he was getting into.

The treatment consisted of a mild form of electrocution, with increasing voltages as the therapy progressed. It was only utilized by physiatrists who were homophobic. In time, it would be roundly denounced by the physiatrist profession.

After the electrocution sessions, Jeffry was placed in a dark room where male images were projected on a screen. Beforehand, he was given a medication that made him violently ill; the point being that he would associate masculinity with unpleasantness.

It was barbaric; it was painful; it was inhuman; and it was a total failure. All the treatment did was to leave the patient with an identity crisis. Jeff didn't know whether he was gay or straight. The whole process should have been labeled as 'Cruel and Unusual Punishment'.

So Jeffry went back to Cindy and to his old life worse than before. Nothing had changed, except that his homosexuality had been smothered. It was like putting a cork on a volcano.
Chapter Two

Kenny stared morosely at the coffee shop's menu card, whilst he waited for Constable Meadows to join him. The premises looked very clean and brightened by indigenous paintings and craft. He enjoyed aboriginal art, but found the prices too high; maybe in this part of Victoria he could pick up some paintings at a reasonable price. He responded to the waitress, saying that he was waiting for someone, and then spent the time reflecting on his encounter with Laurie Cree.

Laurie Cree – boy that brought back some unpleasant memories. And now Cree still holds a grudge, even after all this time. It's about time I found why; enough is enough. I remember the fights he and I had after school; and then he and some of his brain-dead cronies would lay in wait for me if I was just going to the local shop. My family would never socialize or just talk to the Crees, nor would they to us. The only friendship I ever had was with Cree's young brother, Jeff.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Not knowing what caused the fall out is bloody frustrating. Reminds me of that famous Yankee feud – the Hatfield's and McCoy's!

Just then Constable Meadows appeared so he put his musings aside. Looking at her more closely Kenny noticed that there was a firmness about her face; but overall she was quite pretty.

'Um . . . thanks for meeting with me Constable. I hope you're not going to be crabby. Since I arrived yesterday, I've had to deal with negative outbursts from people I hardly know; and others who want to dredge up the past.'

'Firstly, please call me Gloria. I reckon you and I should be on friendly terms since we're both gay. I suppose Cree would've taken great delight telling you I was a lesbian.'

'Yep . . . he did. Not outright but I got the message. Bye the way, I hate the term 'lesbian'; to me it's derogatory like 'poofter', 'queer', or 'fag'. I'm simply gay . . . and proud of it!'

'Ok,' she said. 'Tell me what it was like coming out after being a footy star. Did you face much unpleasantness?'

'Yeah, some; but only what you'd expect from certifiable homophobes. Over all it was very positive. Many people knew of course; all the people at St. Kilda were aware and have been very supportive both during my time with the club, and after. Actually, there are many Gay footy players in the AFL, but they choose to not identify themselves as gay. My recent partner is a good example; he just didn't have the 'bottle' to face his family, club mates, and supporters. He doesn't play for St. Kilda, so I don't know how his club relates to gay footballers. This rift actually broke us up.'

'That's sad, really sad,' Meadows said tenderly. 'I don't know why but gay men face a bigger problem than les . . . gay women.'

They stopped talking while a waitress appeared and took their order. Both opted for long black coffees.

'Tell me about you,' Kenny asked. 'How did you end up in this town? I would've thought you'd be more comfortable in the city. Are there many gay girls here?'

'Some, but they aren't openly gay. Several live solitary lives on a farm, in town or just on a remote homestead. Yes, I've met some of them and we stay connected. They understand my predicament, particularly as regards Sergeant Cree. He's got a nasty reputation, not only against gay people but also our indigenous brothers and sisters. And I didn't choose to come here; I was transferred here by the system.'

She paused to collect her thoughts, and then continued,

'You know Kenny . . . can call you by your first name? . . . ( _Kenny nodded Ok_ ) being an outsider coming in fresh has had some advantage.'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, it took some time, but slowly I sensed an underlying tension amongst the townspeople. Nothing you could identify, but real just the same. At first I thought it was my imagination, but the longer I'm here I know something's not right. Call it a sixth sense . . .'

'. . . or woman's intuition?' Kenny teased.

'. . . or woman's intuition; call it an instinct. Anyway, once you get to know the place and our citizens, I'd be interested in your reaction.'

This last intrigued Kenny; his own image of a country town was a place of boring idleness. It was the image that drove him to consider moving from the big city. He leaned forward to show he was interested, but without invading Gloria's space. She, on the other hand appeared defensive and even looked around her to ensure that no-one was within hearing.

'Why do you say that? I mean, there's always a little mischief everywhere, particularly when there are humans involved. I sense you're holding something back.'

'Of course I am. As a copper, I have to be discreet until I have proof of any crime. Surely you understand that?'

'Ok, Ok. I get the picture, I understand. I'm sorry . . . I didn't mean to pressure you. Sorry.'

There was silence as the waitress delivered their coffee. The smell was delicious, but taking a sip Kenny found the coffee was too hot. Opposite him, Gloria stirred her coffee with a thoughtful look on her face. Then,

'Look, maybe you can be some help, particularly 'cause you're a teacher.' Looking at Kenny she continued,

'We have some elegant brothels in town; the most popular is called 'Francesca's. But I hear rumors that the indigenous kids – boys and girls – are selling favors for money. Most often the parents are involved, because they need the money to buy booze and drugs. And it may not just be aboriginal kids; there could be white children also. It's frustrating; all I get is rumors, whispers if you like, but nothing substantial to open an enquiry.'

'That's sick; really sick! Parents pimping off their kids. That's child abuse; plain straight out child abuse. I don't care if they're black or white, rich or poor; taking money for sexual favors and then handing it over to adults is wrong! Very wrong!'

Kenny took a sip of his now cooled coffee and expressed his appreciation. After taking a sip of her well-stirred coffee, Gloria continued,

'As a teacher, you'll get to be associated with most of the kids in town – particularly the boys – either at school or playing sport. If you could keep a watch out for any unusual behavior; moodiness, hostility and aggression, let me know.'

'No problem; but shouldn't that info go first to Cree as he's in charge? Have you ever talked about your suspicions with him? What about the other coppers; don't they also share your concerns?'

'Cree is an arrogant, stupid, dickhead. Because I'm a female and a les . . . sorry, gay cop, he just ignores me; and the others simply follow his lead. Don't ask me why, but I sense the problem is escalating; soon someone's gonna get hurt.'

'Yeah, I think I get the picture . . . particularly if the parents are involved. More booze and drugs means more money is needed to finance the habit; the more the need, the more there's danger of something bad happening. It's depressing. If it's any consolation, I know the signs of drug abuse; I've just been exposed to that unpleasantness.'

Gloria decided to not pursue that matter any further because Kenny's voice carried a lot of pain. Instead she switched direction,

'Give me a boot up the arse if I'm getting too personal, but I sense that you and Sergeant Cree don't have a pleasant past. Am I out of line?'

'No . . . not at all. I don't mind. Actually, I was muddling over that same problem waiting for you.' Kenny inclined his head and stared at the far wall whilst he marshaled his thoughts.

It may be good to share the problem with Gloria; sometimes an outsider can be more objective. Maybe it'd help if I talked about the problem. But where do I start? Where did it all start . . . all those years ago?

'My coffee's dry. How's yours? Do you have time for another cup?'

'Yes to both. I told Cree that I was taking some personal time. He didn't mind; in fact, I'm sure he's glad to be rid of me for a while.'

Kenny settled back and played with his now empty cup.

'Our families were neighbors, and as long as I can remember we were enemies. It was always the Crees against the Joneses. My parents hated the Crees and vice versa. And I just don't know why. The two fathers didn't work at the same workplace or even in the same industry. My Dad was a plumber and the elder Cree was an electrician. The only circumstance I know that would cause such deep enmity was sexual betrayal. Someone fucked someone else's wife or husband.'

Kenny paused while new coffees were placed on the table and the empty cups taken away. He didn't take a sip straight away as the coffee was steaming. Gloria commenced using a spoon to stir hers, but she was leaning forward obviously intrigued with Kenny's story. Just then the waitress came back and interrupted the conversation.

'I'm sorry for butting in, but aren't you Kenny Jones the footballer?'

When Kenny smiled yes, she continued,

'Geeze, I thought you were. I mean you just look like in the photos I've seen of you. Both my hubby and eldest son are Saints supporters. My hubby reckons you're the best mid-fielder the Saints have had for a long time. We're sorry to see you retire. Geeze; Kenny Jones in person. Could I get an autograph? My son would be thrilled.'

'Not a problem. I'd love to; how about I autograph a footy for your son. What's his name?'

'Peter. Peter Ballard. He'll be over the moon; thank you, really . . . thank you.'

'Ok, I've got some spare footy's at home. You on tomorrow?'

'Yep.'

'Ok; I'll drop it in after noon tomorrow. My pleasure.'

'I can't tell you how much I appreciate you doing this. Really. If there's anything I can do for you, just ask. My name's Robyn. Robyn Ballard. Thanks again.' And departed smiling. Kenny returned his attention back to Gloria and after a pause said,

'Where was I? I've lost my train of thought.' Before answering, Gloria said,

'Kenny, you've just made a real friend. A person like her will spread the word that you're a real decent bloke. From here on, anybody will think twice about rubbishing you because you're gay. You've just done yourself a big, big favor.'

'Well, I didn't do it to gain 'brownie' points. I like doing nice things for people. Now where was I?'

'You were reflecting on how and where this feud started. You surmised that it may have been marriage infidelity.'

'Yes, but I don't know for sure. It was a closed subject. Several times I tried to find out why; when I asked my mother she'd say 'go ask your father' and when I asked my father I'd get the same in reverse. It was frustrating; particularly when Cree and I started to fight. Physically I mean . . . usually after school. All the other kids knew about the feud and reveled in the fighting. Being a lot bigger, Cree usually won and if anything this increased the hostility between the two families. A couple of times I beat him, but over-all I came off the looser.'

'And through all this no-one told you what the feud was about? That would've been awful! You were under constant threat all your growing years. That's awful! Bloody awful. It's a wonder you didn't end up a basket case; I know I would.'

'And add to that my father tried to kill himself – twice. One time I had to bash the laundry door down because he was trying to gas himself. I kept asking myself over and over, what could be so bad that you'd want to top yerself.'

Kenny fell silent; obviously dealing with some painful memories. Gloria let the silence extend, out of respect for Kenny's feelings. Eventually,

'Did you and the sergeant talk about this past hostility when you were together in his office? I mean, it's not rational for two adults to maintain a quarrel for so long; particularly when no one knows what it's about. I've never heard of something so stupid. . .' Kenny went to interrupt but Gloria silenced him with,

'. . . and to cap it all, I take it that both sets of parents are either now very old or very dead! Kenny, you've got to find out more so you can deal with the problem. It's been festering on your sub-conscious for a long time now. You need to deal with it and make a new start.'

'Hey, I wanted to . . . discuss the bad blood that is; but he brought up my being gay and sledged me with that. I became very friendly with his younger brother Jeff, and I sensed that Jeff knew more than he'd tell me. Jeff's a simple honest person, unlike the whole Cree family, and I suspect he was terrified of his elder brother. I must make an effort to find Jeff and ask for his help.'

'Why would Jeff know about the rift; I mean more than was told to you?'

'He was very close to his mother . . . very close. That's why he was on the outer with Cree and his dad Bert. I suspect there's another story there. But Jeff will know something more, at least. Shouldn't be too hard to locate him; if nothing else it'd be a starting point and as you point out this shit's got to end.'

At that, a big smile spread all over Gloria's face and she stared at Kenny with an impish look in her eyes.'

'Jeff's here . . . lives just out of town.'

This stunned Kenny. He imagined that Jeff wouldn't want to live anywhere near his big brother; but to learn that he lived close by staggered him.

'He's here . . . in town? Right here? Tell me where he lives, or works so I can talk to him. Tell me, what does he look like? He'd be what . . . late twenties or early thirties.'

'He's grown very good looking; where Laurie has the face of a thug, Jeff has the face of an angel. He got married to a girl called Cindy who he met after the family . . . the Cree family, moved into town. Apparently his father – you called him Bert – opened up an Electrical business, and did quite well. The father died about five years back and I think the mothers in a retirement home.'

Kenny lapsed into silence as he digested the news.

"Look, I know Jeff's usually at the RSL club most nights. How about meeting me there around, say, six thirty, and I'll introduce you both. You've got to start somewhere to resolve this stupid vendetta.

♂♂

'. . . You want a blow job? I can blow you for twenty dollars; if you want a fuck, I'm too small, but you can fuck my elder brother for fifty dollars. You just tell me the time and place and I'll make sure he's there.

'Hey, I'm randy as hell. Here's twenty; give me a good blowjob and maybe I'll give you ten more.'

The boy undid the fly and loosened the man's belt, slipping down his jeans in one smooth motion. The man's very large cock sprang into view.

'Geeze, that's a big fella! You're all wet and oozy. I'll do you good mister. I likes the taste of you'se juice.'

With that the boy placed his mouth around the penis and began to gently suckle the head. At the same time he stroked the shaft gently making the man moan with pleasure.

'Ohhh . . . shit that feels good. Don't stop . . . keep it up! Ahhh. Man that's incredible. Yeah . . . keep suckling the head . . . keep doing that . . . Ahhh . . . fuck!'

Ten minutes later, it was all over; the man popped his penis back into his jeans and zipped up his fly. He looked down at the abbo boy who had just serviced him. He was just a kid, a child; and that's what turned him on. But what a beautiful child he was.

'Is your brother as beautiful as you? Does he like having a cock up his arse? Will he let me fuck him without a condom?'

'We'se needs the money; I'll ask him and let you know. How can I contact you?

Geez, the kid sounded like a professional and he was, what, only ten years old.

'I'll meet you here tomorrow at the same time. Here's another ten to show my appreciation; maybe tomorrow you can do me again.'

♂♂

The local RSL club in every country town becomes the center for social gatherings and a 'Happy Hour' is usually in full swing between six and seven o'clock in the evening. After signing in as a visitor, Kenny went looking for Gloria and spotted her in a group with some of the young cops he'd met this morning.

Gloria beckoned him over, only to find out - guess what - it was his turn to buy a round of drinks. The conversation returned to the drawn grand final; the subject of this morning's interrupted banter.

Kenny was enjoying himself and the company, when Gloria nudged him and said,

'There's Jeff Cree just coming in. He's by himself . . . again.'

Following her signal, Kenny looked to see a very fit youngish man come strolling into the club. When Gloria mentioned he was good-looking, she did him an injustice. The adult Jeffrey Cree was very good looking! He had soft features with a full head of dark brown hair. His eyes were deep brown, almost black and seemed to match the color of his hair which he wore parted forward and across his forehead. His head narrowed down to a narrow chin and whilst all his features were in balance, the over-all effect rendered gentleness to his facial appearance.

And he seemed to be perpetually smiling. Recognizing Jeff, one of the cops called out and invited him to join the group. When he came and stood close, Kenny could see the child that he had known. Kenny was introduced as the retired footballer and for a minute Jeff did not recognize him. But after several moments the light dawned and Jeff smiled,

'Not the Kenny Jones who used to live next door to us in Frankston, when we were kids?'

'The same.'

"Wow! I should've twigged. I'm sorry for not recognizing you straight away Kenny; you must think I'm a dickhead. We all knew the Kenny Jones from St. Kilda was coming, but I didn't associate that with the Kenny Jones I knew as a youngster. Wow!'

Jeff stared at Kenny with that fixed smile, and went to say something, but Kenny was drawn back into the conversation about footy. However, Kenny couldn't contain his curiosity for too long, so he said to Jeff,

'Can we go somewhere private to catch up?' When Jeff nodded ok, _(a little reluctantly)_ . . . Kenny said to the group,

'Guys, Jeff, and I haven't seen each other for a long time, so we're gonna move off to catch up?' Gloria gave him a sly wink.

They drifted away and found an unoccupied table. Jeff assigned himself the task of refreshing their drinks, and as he walked away, Kenny was able to admire the view from the back; from Jeff's wide shoulders down to his compact little bum.

When he returned there was an awkward silence. Jeff was no longer smiling and seemed uncomfortable. No one knew how to start the conversation. Eventually,

'Great to see you, Jeff. I must admit I was surprised when Gloria told me you were living here. You're no longer the geeky kid next door.'

Geez that sounded lame, but he's obviously letting me open the batting.

'Yeah . . . it's good to see you Kenny. I knew a new teacher was coming but you . . . well . . . I'm surprised.' To Kenny, there was no warmth in Jeff's voice. This was a different Jeff Cree to the man who had joined the cop group earlier.

'Ummm . . . to cut a long story short, I wanted to get away from Melbourne for personal reasons, and when this job was advertised I jumped at it.'

Silence. Jeff was staring morosely at his glass. He seemed depressed.

( _In exasperation)_ 'What do you do Jeff? How do you make a quid? I gather you're a family man now.'

Taking a deep breath, Jeff hesitated before replying,

'I'm a lowly mechanic, and yes I have a wife, but no kids as yet. Wife's name is Cindy. We've been married five years.'

Silence. Again, Jeff avoided any eye contact and seemed fixated on his drink coaster.

_Exasperated again._ 'Hey, don't put yourself down like that; being a mechanic, or for that matter working any trade, is an honorable profession. Trade skills come in handy even outside your working surroundings; you never lose those skills and they're often put to good use.'

'Ummm . . . I guess. I guess you're right. Sometimes Cindy puts me down; she wants something better than a mechanic for a husband.'

'Jeff, it's not what Cindy wants; it's what you want. After all it's your life, isn't it?'

( _Almost a sigh_ ) Yeah . . . I suppose. I wish it was that simple.'

Kenny was getting frustrated by Jeff's attitude. This wasn't the way he'd imagined meeting Jeff after all these years.

Something is really bugging him. It's almost as if he resents talking to me.

And then Jeff crossed his arms and taking another deep breath, looked at Kenny directly; his dark brown eyes seemed to glisten,

'Kenny, what we did as kids; that was just fooling around. Just experimentation, just growing up. I grew out of that . . . I'm not gay like you. Understand . . . I'm straight and happily married. I'm really happy . . . really happy.'

Kenny was caught off-balance by Jeff's outburst and looking into Jeff's eyes detected . . . anguish?

_What on earth's going on? Why does he want to dig up the past? There's an inner conflict raging within Jeff; it's almost as if he wants absolution. He's ashamed of himself. Does he see me a threat to his family_?

Kenny let the silence grow whilst he considered how to respond. It was clear that Jeff was in emotional turmoil.

'Jeff,' he ventured slowly. 'After not seeing each other for over twenty years, I would've thought we'd be sharing anecdotes; catching up on what's happened to us over the past. I mean, in that time we've both experienced many things; some good, some not so good. Instead, I sense a degree of hostility and a need for forgiveness over something we may have done, when we were very young. Frankly, I don't understand.'

Taking a moment to digest what Kenny had said, Jeff put down his half drunken beer and almost to himself mumbled,

'Shit . . . there I go again. I'm a loser. I've made you uncomfortable and angry. Sorry Ken . . . I'm just a loser.'

Then he got up from the table and walked out of the club, leaving Kenny bewildered. After a moment, Kenny rejoined the group around the bar. It was obvious that they had witnessed Jeff's departure because one of the cops said,

'You've just been exposed to gloomy Jeff Cree haven't you? We've all had the same experience . . . several nodded their heads . . . but don't let it throw you; that's just Jeffry being Jeffry. Some times he's great company, other times . . .?'

Someone else ventured, 'It all depends whether Cindy gives him a hard time or not.'

And another, 'don't forget his bastard brother; our own darling Sergeant Cree. He comes down hard on poor Jeff. Between his wife and his brother, he'll end up a basket case.'

Just then, a blond youngster called Jimmy ( _Hmmm_ thought Kenny _; definitely eye candy)_ piped up and said out loud what they all were thinking,

'Perhaps he knows what that slut of a wife is doing behind his back.' There was a general murmur of agreement when Gloria spoke up,

'Hey, that's not fair; you don't know. . . .' but an elder cop interrupted with,

'For God's sake Gloria, it's common knowledge. She'll sleep with anyone; even a blackfella if she has a mind to it.'

_Poor Jeff_ , thought Kenny, _the poor bastard_.

♂♂

It took Kenny a few days to really put faces to names with the college faculty. Brother Dominic had introduced him, but his memory for names was not good. Eventually in the common room Kenny came to know people better. Besides a Miss Jenkins who taught French, Kenny was the only other male who was not a Brother. After a time he was able to understand the interplay of personalities and relationships.

Towering above everyone was Brother Michael and he had acolytes in Brother Peter who taught History and Brother Simon who taught English. The latter was a short pudgy man who always seemed to be unkempt. He deferred to Brother Michael in everything; so much so that he was laughed at behind his back. And he was homophobic; Kenny couldn't discern whether it was his fundamental belief or just following Brother Michael's lead. On one occasion, when they were alone, Br. Simon confronted Kenny about being Gay.

'The church has always maintained that we can forgive the sinner, but not the sin. It's not too late; I know many people who have had their lives changed by fully accepting Jesus. Surely you'd feel much better knowing that you're within the arms of our Lord. Confess and repent your sins and you'll find a better and fulfilling life. You have to look after your immortal soul.'

'I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to teach. Even through my footy years, I loved to go out and teach kids how to take marks, kick and tackle to improve their footy skills. I'm a teacher brother, not a queer!'

'You haven't answered my question!'

'But you didn't ask a question; just made a statement. What was your question?'

'Wouldn't it be better to confess and repent and accept the love of Jesus?'

'Nah; not really.'

Bro. Simon was shocked. He glared at Kenny and leaned close; so close that Kenny could smell his bad breath. His piggy eyes narrowed . . . then,

'You choose not only to live in sin but to die in sin. And you're teaching children; that makes me very, very angry!' Kenny sighed,

'For fuck's sake Brother, I've got news for you. I don't, nor does society believe that in being true to my sexuality, I'm doing anything wrong. And to suggest that I'm indoctrinating my pupils in a gay life-style, I find very, very offensive!'

'How dare you! How dare you take offense, when I'm trying to redeem your immortal soul and save children from your unnatural practices? How dare you!'

'Listen shithead! _(Bro. Simon flinched)_ , you're not making any sense. How does my being true to my sexuality have anything to do with saving my soul?' Before Bro. Simon could respond, Kenny continued with anger in his voice.

'You charge me with unnatural practices. You hypocrite! Practicing celibacy is unnatural; it's against all the laws of nature. I repeat it's unnatural; don't fuck'n lie to me. I bet you have feelings of lust just like all we humans do. You just don't practice satisfying your lust. At least that's what you say; I reckon you beat off senselessly to relieve the pressure. And you know what; if you do, you're a better man for doing it. I'm all for wanking and prostitution; it stops perverts going out and molesting children or raping women.'

For a long moment the two men just glared at each other until Bro. Simon, puffed up with righteous indignation, stormed off.

'Well, that went well,' sighed Kenny.

♂♂

Kenny watched this kid called Billy Yorta swerve past his opponent catching him off balance, take four long strides, a bounce and then boot the footy straight between the uprights. It was done with such perfect precision and movement, that the watcher was left a little dazzled. The kid was a natural. Then the kid took a high mark by effortlessly soaring up above the pack to bring the footy down.

Kenny turned to Bro. Michael and remarked,

'That kids a natural. Has he had any coaching or special attention?'

'Not that I know of. These abbo kids don't really fit in with the rest of the boys; they seem to go their own way and every time I've tried to talk to them they seem a bit surly. They can't even look you in the eye. What they need is a good kick up the arse.'

_What they need_ , (Kenny thought), _is someone to be friendly and show an interest in their abilities; not a racial, bigoted shit face like you. I wonder if you even know their names. And it's a sign of disrespect for an aboriginal kid to look you in the eye. It's their custom._

'What's the tall kid's name; the one that kicked that last goal?'

'Billy something. I can't get my tongue around their names. Give me a good Anglo-Saxon name anytime.'

'Well, do you mind if I have a talk to him after practice?'

'No, I don't mind; but don't be too disappointed when they don't respond.'

After practice, Kenny culled Billy Yorta from the throng heading for the showers, and asked if he wouldn't mind talking with him. Billy was delighted.

'Hey Billy . . . mind if I call you Billy? Receiving an affirmative nod, Kenny continued,

'I'm really impressed by your game. Has anyone coached you?' Following indigenous custom, Billy looked down at the ground and replied,

'Nah . . . just picked it up from watching the telly and kicking the footy around wid some udder kids. Us blackfellas don't get asked to play wid the udder kids . . . 'cause we'se black.'

'Well, how about I give you some of my experiences and if you want to, I'll get you to play in the local under eighteen comp. How's that sound?'

'Really! Cool, that's real cool mister. But what about Brudder Michael? He don't like us blackfellas.'

'Let me handle Brother Mike. You just be here after school and I'll teach you how to bend the rules, so you can get the best out of your game. Now to begin, you're holding the footy wrong when you kick . . .'

♂♂

In Brother Michael's class, Billy had to bear unwarranted criticism about his relationship with Kenny. At every opportunity Bro. Mike singled Billy out for criticism or just to make him look bad. Often, he seemed to suggest that there was an unhealthy relationship between Billy and Kenny. Bro. Mike's views on homosexuality were well known and he repeatedly became virulent on the matter. Callously, he used every opportunity to verbally abuse both Kenny and Billy.

The whole school knew about it; but Brother Mike was feared by the other brothers and they just kept silent. To come out against Brother Mike might dangerously expose their own latent homosexuality and the anguish that such exposure would bring. With offers of money young, sometimes very young, indigenous boys and girls were co-opted for sexual favors in secret locations. This latter was a secret held close by only they who were involved. The need for cash was such that the boys and girls would keep silent so that a reliable flow of cash was guaranteed for their parents.

This was a scandal on a National and Inter-national scale that was to shake the Catholic Church to its very core. These predators, just so long as they could satisfy their lust, had a callous disregard for their victims and the damage souls they created.

Billy had discussed the growing problem with Kenny, who counseled turning the other cheek. Brother Mike was not inflicting any physical harm on Billy, even though he was causing emotional distress. Kenny rightly assessed that it would appear churlish to confront Brother Mike with any complaint. But, if Brother Mike continued, then Kenny would have to bring the matter before the Headmaster. However Billy was not as mature as Kenny and eventually erupted.

Brother Mike was teaching geography, white man's geography, and asked Billy where the Murray River began.

'Don't give a shit!' Billy replied. 'Who gives a shit where the fucking river starts? I just know it passes through the land of my people, the Yorta-Yorta people, and we used to fish from it for food until it was stuffed up by you white mongrels.'

Silence crashed down on the class as everyone looked to see how Brother Mike would respond to Billy's outburst. Brother Mike looked stunned. No-one had ever spoken back to him like that. Shock gave way to fury; his face went purple as his blood pressure climbed dangerously high.

'How dare you! How dare you Yorta . . .'

'My names' Billy! Billy Yorta . . .'

'. . . Don't you dare interrupt me. Just who do you think you are, talking like that not just to your teacher but to a man of god?' Into the silence he continued,

'This is because that miserable degenerate Jones has allowed you too much leeway. Because of all the favoritism he's given you, you think you can insult your teacher and get away with it. Well, I'll show you just . . .'

'Why don't you show me? Why don't you whip out your cock and show me. I'll give you a good time by giving you a head job . . . won't cost you a cent; It's a freebee!'

The atmosphere in the class changed from fear to swelling laughter; then someone started to clap until the whole class was applauding Billy. Brother Mike went from red to white hot fury. Not only that he was put down by this indigenous boy, but the whole class obviously held him in contempt.

Only now Brother Mike reacted. Having grabbed the boy by his ear lobe, white faced he frog marched Billy down to the Headmasters office, who listened to Brother Mike in disbelief.

A shocked Bro. Dominic said,

'I won't have that language in my school. It's disgusting; if what Brother Mike says is true, you're in very serious trouble Mr. Yorta. The least I can do is suspend you. If you apologize to Brother Mike I won't expel you. I'm ready to listen to your apology.'

'No way! No fucking way! Why me apologize to him. Mr. Kenny has been kindness to me and me mates; where this bastard has said really bad t'ings about Mr. Kenny and me. No way!'

Br. Dominic took a long time in replying which increased the prevailing hostility. Taking a deep breath he said,

'You leave me no choice Mr. Yorta, but to . . . no (with a sigh) I won't expel you at this time. You're suspended for one month from to-day. When you return, you'll come see me before starting classes. Understood?'

T'anks sir, but what you gonna do 'bout dis reptile here?'

'None of your concern. Now please leave. No, Brother Michael I want to have a word.'

When Billy left, the headmaster addressed Brother Mike sternly.

'Don't you understand that an indigenous person won't look someone in the eye, not out of disrespect but respect? You're responsible for teaching these kids and yet you haven't taken the time to explore their culture. They . . .'

' . . . but we have school rules that must be obeyed; we can't run the college on abbo culture principles.'

'Please don't interrupt me . . . they are different yes, but each boy is different and must be treated with respect. And I've been aware for some time of your ambiance towards Kenny Jones, partly out of jealousy for his football exploits, but I suspect primarily because he is homosexual. I'm right, aren't I?'

'Maybe, perhaps; I welcome his footy experience but I can't abide his being a queer. I mean what message are we sending to our young people . . . that if they choose to be a faggot, that's alright?'

There was a period of silence before Bro. Dominic responded,

'Be careful Brother Mike, be very careful. Watch your language. We cannot be seen to be actively practicing discrimination against homosexual people. Your personal opinion, nor my personal viewpoint, can be seen to influence College procedure. I'm giving you a warning Brother, keep your personal beliefs to yourself; even if such beliefs are the same as official church doctrines.'

Why is it I dislike Brother Mike so. He annoys me with his high moral stance, expecting everyone else to conform to his way – or else. He's only a young man yet his attitude is one that you would expect from a much older person. He's a bigot and not a very pleasant individual to have around. But what to go about Kenneth Jones – I knew no good would come with having an openly homosexual teacher at the College.

♂♂

Billy stormed out of the Headmasters office and headed for the oval with one objective in mind – revenge; revenge on Brother Mike. On the footy field he felt safe and secure because he knew he excelled over the other guys – both black and white. But as the anger subsided, it was replaced by frustration.

Been' a blackfella hain't no good. Dey won't leave me alone. I'll always be picked on just 'cause of me skin. Hain't my fault; it's wot ise born wid. Can't do nutting 'bout that heh! But geez, if Mr. Kenny stops coaching me, it'll be bad, real bad. I like's him real good, yeah . . . real good! If'n he wants to fuck me . . . I'd like that. But I reckon he's cool; won't do nutting to hurt me. He's real cool; not like d'ose udder perv's wid dere stoopid collars. Deyz all bullshit. All churchy up front, but dey still rant and rut when dey's fucking me.

Lost in his misery, Billy didn't hear Kenny until,

'Hey, what's the matter champ? You look miserable. What's up?'

And Billy did look miserable; he was propped up against the goal post with his legs drawn up and his head resting on his chin. Kenny could see that tears were not far away, and at the sound of Kenny's voice, Billy let go. He started to sob. All the pent up defense he'd stored up crumbled, and he lost it . . . lost it. Kenny was wise enough to let the boy sob it out; he sat beside Billy put his arm around the boy's shoulders to comfort him. Eventually the sobbing subsided.

They sat side by side, sharing each other's personal space, then at Kenny's insistence Billy blurted out what had happened. It was a dilemma for Kenny; whilst he abhorred Brother Mike's language, he had to support a fellow teacher in preserving discipline.

'Billy, I reckon you got off easy. You can't talk to a teacher like that; you've got to respect . . . no respects the wrong word – accept, that's a better word. You've got to accept that school teachers' do have a responsibility to maintain discipline; otherwise nothing can be accomplished. No lessons given and no learning by students.'

'I knows that. I'se not dumb (sob). Just 'cause I'se black don't mean I'se (sob) stoopid.'

'I didn't say you were stupid. You're not stupid; in fact I reckon you're very intelligent. I can see that by your school grades. What's been happening at home? Anything you want to tell me? You know I regard you as a close mate, so anything you tell me is just between you and me.'

Encouraged by the relaxed intimacy, Billy gladly started to talk about his distress.

'Um . . . same old, same old. Me dad's always pissed and broke; takes it out on me mum and us kids too. I got a brudder and kid sister and life hain't too good. I worries 'bout me kid sister; she's only eight and no one to tell her 'bout sex stuff. Me brudder, he's only ten, comin' on to be hard inside.'

'What about the members of your extended family . . . your uncles and aunts; and there must be someone in your people who can help with growing up issues?'

'Nah, not really; all our peoples keep to themselves. It's our culture; you whites know dip shit about us abbos.' Billy moved closer, a little uncomfortably closer. Then,

'Mr. Kenny, what's it like to be gay like you? I reckon you'se copped a lot of shit growing up. Still is cruel ain't it? I mean like the crap those hippo whitees hand out to us blackfellas; ya feel dumped on like us?'

'Yeah Billy, I do . . . well I did. It was really bad when I was your age. We gays were even killed because we were different. And the main problem was the churches. They howled against us gays; told us that we're evil, sinful, and bad persons. The law was no help; often gangs of straight youths would go gay hunting and bash us up. Some kids died. The cops stood by and applauded. Yeah Billy, it weren't pretty. Thankfully, it's changed for the better. I mean, look at me; I'm a gay man teaching in a church school. This couldn't happen fifteen years ago. Yeah Billy, we were persecuted; not unlike you and your people.'

After a short comradely silence, Billy said softly,

'I like you Mr. Kenny, you'se a good person. You'se different to those other hippos; ya seem to care 'bout us blackies. It feels real good to talk with ya. Yeah, I feels good . . . and'

Kenny interrupted suddenly,

'Billy, several times you've mentioned the word 'hippos'. What's a hippopotamus got to do with anything? I don't understand.'

'Ahhh no Mr. Kenny, not the animal; I means the churchies with dere funny white collars and black dresses. We call dem 'hippos' 'cause deyz all bull shit.'

'You mean - hypocrites? People who talk one way but do another?

'Yeh dats it, dem too! Hippocr . . . Ummm, what you said.'

'How are they being hypocritical? I don't understand.'

'Well, dem wots telling us doing sex is bad, but then they pay us for giving dem head jobs and fucking us up the arse. Dat's where I gets me money for home from. Dey want to fuck me young brudder but he sez he's too small so I let dem do it t' me instead. All right for me an Botj, but I worries 'bout me kid sister; she's only eight and I heard dat someone's been sniffing round. It not right, s' wrong.'

There it was – Gloria's instinct was right! Billy has just admitted that there was some kind of sex exploitation going on.

'Billy, we have to be very careful here. If what you say is true – and I believe you- we can't accuse anybody without absolute proof.'

'Hey, hold on Mr. Kenny, hold on. I don't want see the money stopped, we'se need the cash. My family need the cash, same as the udder kids. We needs it! Anyways, you'll never stop it; too many big buggers involved. Jus' let it be; ain't a problem. Problem is If'n you name some of the big buggers, they'll come down heavy on us blacks. For sure, dey would kill us, for sure!'

The intensity of Billy's outburst surprised Kenny, the lad was really scared; not just for the loss of income but for being physically hurt . . . even killed.

Is there a solution? I don't know. On one hand I have a responsibility for the children's welfare; on the other, I can't accuse any one unless I have absolute proof. If there are powerful persons involved then the kids' lives are definitely at risk. If only I had a better relationship with Cree. All I can do is relate Billy's confession – is that the right word? to Gloria. She'll know best; hopefully.

Out loud he counseled,

'Billy, I won't say a word of this to anyone unless they have my complete confidence. I promise. I understand where you're coming from and the danger to you if any accusations are levied. Trust me Billy. You've got to trust me.'

With a brotherly squeeze of Billy's shoulder, he said,

'Off you go now; we'll put off training for today. I reckon you're not that enthusiastic hey? If it's ok, I'll come by and talk to you at home. For the next month, we can train at the local footy ground until your suspension is over. OK?'

He watched as Billy got up and sauntered rather dejectedly away. Just then, his mobile rang, and when he answered . . .,

'Kenny . . . it's me, Jeff. Ummm . . . need to talk. Please . . . sorry for being an arsehole, but please, can you meet with me at the Shearers Arms just outside town around six tonight?'
Chapter Three

Kenny, arriving a little after six, had to peer through the gloom to find Jeff, who was sitting by himself at a rear table. The Shearers Arms was a country pub catering more for passing trade than for regular patrons; and was ideal if you wanted to have a quiet talk without any unwelcome intrusion. Seeing Jeff's glass nearly empty Kenny offered,

'Looks like my shout, what're having?'

'Large Vic bitter . . . with a shot of tequila. Tell the barman same as before.'

'Wow! That's pretty powerful; assume you're driving, so what about the breath test. Any danger the cops might pull you over?'

'Nah ( _Jeff grinned impishly_ ) . . . who cares, me brothers the senior sergeant; gotta be some benefit to having a cop in the family. You'll be Ok too. They know me round here; just so long as we don't pass out, it'll be cool.'

When Kenny returned, Jeff immediately downed the tequila in one gulp, and then put the empty shot glass down with a satisfied grin. Kenny studied Jeff's face and felt a surge of pleasure; something he'd not experienced for some time. The perpetual half grin was very attractive and Jeff's dark brown eyes radiated friendliness. This was a different Jeffry to the surly character at the RSL club. And he was wearing spunk gear; tight white t-shirt and blue jeans.

Silence; as the two young men appraised each other. It was Jeff who after taking a sip from his glass, broke the silence,

'I owe you an apology Ken; I was an arsehole at the RSL and shouldn't have dumped my personal problems on you. Been doing some thinking, trying to make some decisions . . . personal decisions about meself, but first I wanted to apologize to you, first. Will you forgive me?'

'Hey, there's nothing to forgive; don't be so heavy on yourself. I was just concerned; you seemed really down and all that concerned me was seeing you so sad. I mean, I got a real pleasure about meeting up again; really Jeff, it's great to meet up again after all these years. How's about us starting all over and pretend we've just met . . . Ok?'

And so for over an hour the two young men re-visited the past; relating good times as well as not so good times. As they got to tell their stories, they began to relax and enjoy each other's company. Jeff listened avidly to Kenny's anecdotes about the inner workings of footy clubs; tales that the public would be appalled to learn. When they had exhausted the past, it was time to relate to their current situations.

'Jeff, why does Laurie hate me so much? We've been brawling for all our lives it seems, but no one can tell me what it's all about. I never found out from my own parents, and now they're very dead. So is Bert I believe, and your mum's in a nursing home with dementia. I really thought it would end when we grew up, but Laurie really dumped on me the other day. I feel a little frustrated and a little angry. Also, why are you so different from the rest of the Cree family? I've always been able to talk and be friendly with you . . . why are you so different?'

By this time they had consumed several beers and Kenny had followed Jeff's example and with a couple of tequila shots. They were feeling good if not a little pissed. Jeff paused and moodily stared into his beer; his brow was furrowed with thought, as he pondered his reply.

'First, I was adopted by the Cree's. Y'see my mother was sister to Irene Cree, Laurie's mum. Both me Mum and Dad were killed in a car crash when I was very young. I have vivid memories still of my grandma taking me into my bedroom and explaining that my parents would not be coming home – ever. I was too stunned even to cry; I loved my grandma but hated her for telling me this terrible thing. Looking back, I think I resolved never to love anybody again because it hurt too much. Eventually, my aunt Irene adopted me and so I joined the Crees; Aunt Irene, Bert Cree and the siblings Laurie and Veronica.'

'Jesus Jeff, that sucks'

( _Nodding_ ) Funny, but I never did feel part of the Cree family; they were always foreign t'me. Laurie always hated me; you reckon he gave you a hard time . . . shit! He was always on me back about something or other. I felt close to Aunt Irene as she was my mum's sister; t'me she was like, real family.'

'Shit, I'm sorry Jeff, real sorry; to lose both parents like that is a tragedy. I can only commend you for dealing with it.' After a pause Jeff looked directly at Kenny and,

'Ken . . . I wish you hadn't asked me about the so called feud. I'm not sure you're gonna like what I have to say. It all happened so long ago, this kind of shit should be buried.'

Jeff paused and drank some more beer. Kenny leant forward with his elbows on the table, eager to hear what Jeff had to say about the traumatic feud that had literally dominated his life. Jeff took a deep breath before,

'This is just hearsay, based on stuff that I picked up from my aunt Irene. Seems that she and your Dad had a tryst around the time she married Bert; was it a one-night stand – who knows? Anyway, she fell preggo and there was a question as to whose kid it was; Bert's' or your Dad's. They didn't have paternity testing those days, so that the true parentage of the child was never known. And as time passed, the child's welfare became more important so Bert just accepted the child was his.'

Kenny felt a surge of fear course through him, as he said in a disbelieving voice,

'Oh no . . . you're saying that Laurie your cousin, could actually be my half-brother? Shit! Jesus Christ.'

'Yep, my adopted brother Laurie could be your dad's child. Could be Kenny, we'll never know the truth. I'm sure Laurie was never told the about it; he just followed his dad's example and hated all the Joneses. Bert also took it out on my aunt; sometimes physically. I don't know how your mum reacted.'

Kenny sat back, dumfounded at Jeff's story. Laurie Cree . . . could be his half-brother. It's unthinkable. Unbelievable! But it somehow makes sense. At least explains why there was so much hostility between the families. But why did the two sets of parents continue to live next door to each other? You'd think, with that kind of history, one of the families would move away. But then, in those days, after the depression and during the Second World War, no one moved around as much as people did to-day. And, of course, living side by side only increased the animosity. Jeff continued,

'It's a real dilemma Kenny, for you I mean. You can't say anything to Laurie 'cause he may become violent. Looking at the whole mess rationally, he's the one who's the victim, but I find it hard to have any sympathy for him. He's such a pig, I'm sure he's Bert Cree's son. I hated that old bastard . . . really hated him.'

Kenny sat back but left his hands cradling his glass. Inside, he was all churned up; his thoughts were rampaging.

Shit! Fuck! No wonder there was tension. But it isn't fair that the kids got dragged into the mess. Weren't fair! I almost feel sorry for Laurie. If only I could talk to him like I can talk to Jeff, it'd all be ok. Well, at least better. But I've got more chance of having a hearty-to-heart with Laurie than flying over the moon. Bloody hell . . . What a mess!

Kenny tilted his head forward with a stunned look on his face.

'I'm gob-smacked! Shit! What a mess. You're right, I should feel sorry for Laurie, but he makes it very hard just to like him. He seems to enjoy being an asshole. But at least you've cleared the air, so to speak; I feel better just knowing how this hatred began. I really thank you Jeff. Really thank you!'

In one of those rare moments, suspended in time, both lads looked at each other and held a silent gaze for several moments. Kenny felt another rush of pleasure, and noticed that Jeff became also flushed. To cover their mutual discomfort they both took long swigs of beer. Finally Jeff reflected,

'But is it really important? I mean, who cares? This is our life now; we have our own problems and issues without delving into the past. That feud had nothing to do with you, and I. Nothing! So let's forget it. I'm only concerned about here and now.'

'Well that's true enough,' Kenny agreed. 'But I have to live with his hostility, particularly as he's the senior copper. He could make life very difficult for me. What about you . . . and you're wife?'

'Who, Cindy? Nah, she keeps out of Laurie's way; thinks he's a Neanderthal. Over the years I've programmed meself to try and ignore him. I suppose I've kept that little tidbit about his parentage tight; only to use if I really have to. I know that's nasty, but call it self-defense if you will. But given the provocation, I won't hesitate.'

And so the evening progressed and they got progressively drunk. There was no possibility of driving in their state, so they called Gloria who picked them up and arranged for their cars to be driven to the police station.

♂♂

Next morning, Jeff woke with a very bad hangover, and lay in bed collecting his thoughts. He could hear Cynthia in the kitchen banging pots and pans, presumably for his discomfort. He must have smelt really bad last night, so she was probably within her rights to be pissed off.

He lay back letting his mind re-create last evening's events.

I had a great time with Ken . . . it was good to catch up on the past years. I'm glad I told him about Laurie; not knowing why a problem exists must have been rotten. Since aunty Irene confided to me, Ken is the only person I've talked to about the feud. If it helps Kenny, then I'm glad I told him.

Ken. Kenny. The intense feelings of pleasure I experienced yesterday, have not gone away. Why do I suddenly feel happy? It's a strange feeling; a feeling of contentment. It's like finding something that I'd accepted had been lost to me forever; that I'd despaired of ever having again.

But I'm married to Cindy and must honor that. I can't let Ken into my life as anything more than just an old friend. I just wish I didn't feel so happy.

Cynthia broke into his thoughts with,

'Jeff ( _she yelled_ ). . . Jeff get up you lazy sod! Laurie's here and wants a word. C'mon . . . you're gonna be late for work if you don't get ya lazy arse out of bed.'

Uncombed and scruffy, he made his way to the kitchen, where his brother awaited in full police attire. Nodding to his brother, he made himself a cup of very strong black coffee, before he mumbled,

'Morning big brother; what brings you out this early?'

'For shit's sake Jeff ( _from Cynthia_ ) why don't you make yerself a bit presentable? You look awful.'

Ignoring Cynthia, Laurie said,

'Heard 'bout your binge yesterday; I heard that you and the Jones boy were completely wasted. I suppose I should commend you for not driving. Just the same, don't ever use my officers to get you out of trouble again. Ok?'

'Noted,' said Jeff offhandedly. 'I hear you Sergeant.'

'What ( _Cynthia challenged_ ) were you and that queer talking about all that time? Was he seducing you? You're weak, Jeff; an easy mark for a predator like that faggot! Go on; tell me what you and the poofter talked about!'

'It's none of yer business; none of yer bloody business. Just shut that filthy hole you call a mouth.' Jeff glared menacingly at his wife, whilst his brother simply leant back against the sink enjoying the spectacle. Jeff took a sip of his hot coffee and said indifferently,

'Actually Laurie, we talked about the past; how our two families were always at each other's throats and how you always picked fights with Ken. Tell me big brother, do you know why you hated Ken so much. What was it all about Laurie?'

Silence. Both Cynthia and Jeff were focused on Laurie, who still leaning against the sink, crossed his arms and replied belligerently,

'Who needs a reason? Our dad told us that the Joneses were a bad lot; that was good enough for me. And it should have been enough for you; but you never listened to the old man, did you? No, you went and made friends with the Jones boy, didn't you? I reckon that really hurt our dad, you ungrateful piece of shit!'

'So . . . let me get this straight. You didn't know why your father hated the Jones' yet you still went after Ken Jones, just on Bert's say-so?' When Laurie nodded an uncomfortable yes, Jeff continued,

'Did you ever ask your mother 'bout the bad blood? 'Cause I can tell you she didn't share your father's hostility. Irene was a very gentle and loving person; she hated that Bert was goading you to do damage to Kenny Jones – she hated what was happening.'

The two men glared at each other; how unlike they were. Laurie with his brutish looks and provocative police uniform; Jeffry all crumpled and baggy eyed, still in his sleep clothes. But where Laurie looked like a thug, Jeff still retained his good looks.

'Well,' demanded Jeff. 'Did you ever ask my aunt – your mother, what the feud was about? What was going through your mind as you were bashing up Kenny Jones? I mean, surely a normal person would demand to know why he was fighting and inflicting harm on another person.'

'Oh . . . I see; it's all my fault now. That queer really did a snow job on you little brother. Lucky he didn't slip some date-rape drug into your glass, so as well as fucking your mind he could fuck your arse as well. Have you checked to see if you've got a sore bum?'

Jeff had had enough and he rushed at Laurie yelling,

'You twisted evil shit!!' but before he could assault Laurie, Cynthia intervened with,

'Stop it! Stop it! I won't have fighting in my home. Take it outside. You can brawl all you want, but not in my house. Understand?'

And this cooled tempers; both men just stood glaring at each other, Laurie with his hands on his hips and Jeff with his fists clenched, ready to strike.

With tension dissipating, it was Laurie who spoke first.

'Frankly, I don't care what you do with your 'friend' Kenny; just don't involve my officers again. If you do, I'll see to it that you're both breathalized and charged. Now that I'd enjoy.'

♂♂

Several days after Billy's suspension, Kenny met with him again at the local footy ground. This time Billy brought his two siblings and introduced them to Kenny. His younger brother was called 'Botj' and he was ten years old, whilst the sister 'Sally' was only eight. Botj was spindly but had beautiful facial features. Like all indigenous youth he had beautiful satin skin and large dark brown eyes. But his eyes carried the look of worldly experience that you'd not expect to find in one so young.

On the other hand, little Sally was just adorable, with a perpetual smile showing stunning white teeth. Unlike Botj her eyes radiated innocence and happiness. She was like an exquisite little doll come to life. And they were both proud of their older brother being helped by a famous footy star. Kenny found that Botj followed North Melbourne and was also keen to learn and improve his footy game.

Sally was just contented to sit quietly and watch the practice session; but Kenny noticed that both Billy and Botj kept a close, brotherly watch over their young sister.

After they called it a day, Kenny was surprised when Billy issued an invitation to come home with them. This was so enthusiastically taken up by Botj and Sally that Kenny could not refuse.

The only association he'd ever had with indigenous folk was the lads playing footy. But they were quartered in other people's homes as they came from far away to play footy in Melbourne, so he didn't know what to expect. He met Billy's parents and they made him feel very welcome. He'd heard stories of black people living in filth; too crushed by the white man to begin to care about themselves. He was surprised.

The homes had been specially constructed of the ever popular 'fibro' and contained in an area obviously set apart for indigenous people.

Was this an attempt at apartheid by the whites; why should black people be set aside so visibly? Fundamentally it's wrong!

Billy's home was neat, tidy, and very clean. His mother was very gregarious and showed no signs of being mistreated. The father was surly at first but soon was warmed by the infectious enthusiasm Billy and the kids had towards Kenny.

News of Kenny's calling spread throughout the settlement and soon the lounge room was jam packed with laughing and happy people. Kenny was treated like a god. Everybody was grateful and wanted to shake his hand; they thanked him time after time for coming to visit. Kenny noticed that of all the girls little Sally was definitely the prettiest.

She's gonna grow up to be a beautiful young girl. I hope her father keeps a special eye out for her welfare. Such beauty can attract the wrong interest. But this is amazing; I never imagined that indigenous folk lived like they do here. But it's still day time; I wonder what the situations like at night when the men folks go drinking. From what Billy said, it's not good.

Billy's dad ( _dad will do; his native name was almost unpronounceable_ ) started talking about the origins of Australian Rules football. It seems the Djabwurrung and Jardwadjali people of western Victoria once participated in a traditional game called 'Marn Grook', a type of football played with possum hide. The game is believed by some commentators, to have inspired a man called Tom Wills, to invent the code of Australian Rules football.

Kenny departed with feelings of satisfaction and contentment, vowing to follow up on the invitations to 'come again'.

♂♂

'. . . and I wanted to thank you Gloria, for helping us out the other night; Jeff and I were really wasted. He got me into drinking shots of tequila and I'm not used to strong booze.' Kenny smiled at the memory.

They met again at the coffee shop at Ken's request. Besides thanking Gloria for coming to their rescue, Kenny felt obligated to relate Billy's revelations to Gloria.

'Forget it.' Gloria laughed, 'Only too happy to help out. Yep! You both were certainly wasted; almost wish I had joined you. I gather you both had a great time.'

'Well, it was a little strained at first; after all it was Jeff who called me, so I had to wait until he'd relaxed a bit . . . the tequila helped. Well the first and second ones did; what the others contributed is debatable.'

'Did you find out about the quarrel, I mean before you both got wasted?

At that time the waitress Robyn, appeared to take their order. She was beaming and anxious to please.

'Mr. Jones . . .'

'Please . . . call me Kenny.'

'. . . um, Kenny; my son Peter won't let that footy out of his sight. He even takes it to bed with him. He's the envy of all the kids; my husband Karl wants to thank you by buying you a shout at the club. Please, please let him . . . he really wants to thank you.'

'Ok . . . hey thanks, how can I refuse? Tell him I'll meet up about six this p.m. at the club.'

With their orders taken, Gloria asked Kenny again about the feud.

'Did he tell you anything more than what you already know?

'No, not really. He says his aunt Irene did make mention of my father Bill, and inferred that they knew each other before she married Bert. Beyond that I learnt nothing new. We didn't dwell on the subject, as we were both eager to fill in the missing years. I learned a lot about him and vice versa. Geeze, but isn't he good looking; I love that half smile he has. I don't think he does it deliberately, just part of his natural expression. Oh, and hey . . . I almost forgot. Jeff was adopted by the Crees when his own parents were killed in a car crash; that's why he's different to Laurie. Understandably, he was very close to his aunt Irene, who was his mum's sister.'

'Well . . . I 'spose that clears up one mystery. But you still don't know how the bad blood started. That's a shame. I 'spose you'll never know Ken; best move on and try and forget about it. Nothings gonna be gained by brooding over it.'

'Nah . . . guess so. But hey Gloria, I wanted to talk about something else. Billy got suspended from school and afterwards I had a very intimate talk with him. He told me . . .' and Kenny retold in detail everything that Billy had said, leaving nothing out. When he finished, Gloria leaned back and angrily almost yelled,

'Shit! Shit! Shit! So it's true. What I've been suspecting is true.' She paused before continuing,

'But it's not proof; it only confirms my suspicions that there's something bad going on. Christ! How frustrating; and all the time these kids are being victimized. Shit!'

Kenny sighed, 'Gloria, there's another factor to be considered. When I visited Billy's folks, they had huge plasma TV's, modern hi-fi systems; even a Home entertainment unit. Didn't get to look into the kitchen but wouldn't surprise me if they didn't own modern kitchen appliances.'

'Are you saying Ken that the parents are profiting from their kids sex adventures; and you approve of it? Is that what you're telling me?'

'Yes, I am. And I'm in a horrible place . . . they've just adopted me into the larger family and given me a new name – Kenny Yorta. How can I turn around and betray that honor? How G?'

'That's bullshit. Bullshit! It's not about you. . . It's about children being molested. Pedophilia! It's about adults abusing little kids for their revolting pleasures. How can you sit there, bald faced and tell me it's alright because the family's spending their ill-gotten gains on expensive entertainment goods. You really disappoint me Kenny; I thought you were bigger than that. I'll pay the bill as I leave!'

'Hey Gloria, cool it. Chill out! I didn't say it was alright to take money from the kids. I never said that . . . and never will. Forget I mentioned the honor bestowed on me. Forget I said that and for God's sake, cool down.'

Gloria continued to stare angrily at Ken but remained sitting. When she'd raised her voice, people had turned and looked in their direction but now that the explosion had subsided they returned to their conversations. Robyn came over and softly enquired of Gloria,

'Is everything Ok? You seemed angry. Do you want another coffee?'

'No, sorry! Didn't mean to raise my voice. It's Ok now. Yes I'd like another . . .' she looked at Kenny and seeing him nod affirmatively, continued '. . . . Make that two coffee's. Thanks Robyn.

They sat in frustrated silence, considering the dilemma they were in; Gloria knowing but having no proof. And Kenny, not wanting to betray the trust placed on him by Billy's family but wanting these pedophiles brought to justice. Kenny spoke first.

'Gloria, what would be normal police procedure knowing what we know now?'

'Easy! Catch them in the act. Catch them in the act by taking photos and any other proof that can be provided. DNA would help but is pretty hard to get in these circumstances. What do you have in mind?'

'Now that I'm a member of the clan, I'm willing to betray their trust if you can keep me out of it. Like, I'd pass on whatever info I can get, as long as you act without telling anyone where the info is coming from. You may call me gutless, perhaps I am, but I've always honored any trust placed in me; to dishonor any trust sits very badly with me . . . whatever the situation.'

'I understand Kenny, I really do. I apologize for sounding off before; adults abusing kids sexually is my pet aversion. Look, maybe there's another approach we can take. What about the parents? Surely they don't place more value on worldly goods than their kid's welfare? Parents are parents the world over. No parent, and I mean no parent, will want to see their child abused!'

'I agree with you, Kenny sighed. 'But here we're dealing with folks who are poor, very poor, and I suspect they do place greater value on trinkets than the kid's welfare. They don't see any harm being done – not to the boys anyway; to them it's just a game, a game their winning. The only positive issue is that now I'm Billy's clan brother. I'll use that to try and get closer to him; he's already gone a fair way by opening up to me before.'

'Yeah . . . I guess you're right. I just hate to sit by and do nothing; It's not in my genes!'

♂♂

Gloria ( _looking very attractive and shapely in a pale green off-shoulder dress_ ), and Kenny were sitting by themselves at the RSL. Basically, they had not advanced any further than their earlier conversation.

'I've been giving a lot of thought to the problem,' Kenny admitted. 'But I'm stumped. It would be stupid to make accusations without any proof to support our claims; it would only warn the perpetrators off . . . to lie low for the time being. We need to be careful, very careful.'

'Yep, that's true,' Gloria agreed. 'Fact is, I've been doing some thinking myself; you were right to stop me sounding off. What if the real problem is a cover up at all levels. Not knowing who the culprits are, we don't know how far the conspiracy goes. Does it involve anyone in the police station; it obviously involves church people and it could . . . I suspect, involve local councilors. To come out now would be disastrous. A bloody mistake, which would only drive the perps underground.'

"Yep, I've been thinking along those lines myself, I don't believe I'm gonna learn too much from Billy's folk . . .'

'Hi people; mind if I join?' Kenny looked around and was pleased to see Jeff standing there with a full glass.

'No; no not at all. You're very welcome 'ol buddy. Take a pew. Real glad to see you.'

'What were you saying 'bout Billy's folk, or . . . am I intruding?'

'Seems they're going to formally adopt me into their clan and I was trying to get some info 'bout the ceremony. I don't want to be covered in white chalk and munch bush grubs. Yuk!'

Just then Gloria spoke up, 'Ken, I think Peter Ballard's father Karl is coming over.'

Kenny looked around and spied a hefty muscled blond man approaching their table with a large glass of beer.

'Hi,' he said. 'Names Karl, Karl Ballard. Bought you a beer for the favor ya did me son, Peter.' He placed the glass before Kenny and shook hands. Then,

'Mind if I have a quiet word with ya?'

With a shrug Kenny got up and moved with Karl to an empty table; but Karl didn't sit, he just stood making Kenny stand too.

'Look, I'm thankful for what ya did for me boy, but I gotta say . . .' at that he paused and looked Kenny in the eye.

'I've been raised a strict catholic and I can't accept you'se lifestyle. I don't understand poofters; seems ya made a sad choice, but it's up to you. I can't understand why ya can't find a nice sheila like the one you'se sitting with; settle down and raise kids, a kid like me son Pete. In short, I don't want Pete admiring you'se lifestyle and thinking its ok to be queer.'

Taking a deep breath, he concluded,

'I reckon I'd like you'se ta stay away from Pete. Let me raise my son as a good catholic with normal catholic values. Sorry; you'se probably a nice bloke, but I can't wear you'se been a queer.'

And walked away leaving Kenny white-faced with fury.

It took him a few moments to collect himself before he rejoined Gloria and Jeff. Seeing the look on Kenny's face, they demanded to know what happened. So, he told them. They reacted differently; Gloria hugged Kenny and Jeff wanted to go over and abuse Karl Ballard. But Kenny told Jeff to cool it; he's been through this before and no good came of escalating the issue.

'But ya can't let an ignorant bastard like that get away with it. Not to mention how he's gonna poison the kid as he grows up. You mentioned the mother; does she think like that arsehole of a husband.' Both Kenny and Gloria chorused. . . . No!

'I guess it's really a family matter,' Gloria reasoned. 'We can't get involved between a hubby and his wife; they have to sort it out. But I really feel sorry for young Peter. Geeze, what a mess; we got kids being brainwashed by brain dead illiterates and kids being sexually molested for money. I . . .'

Gloria stopped suddenly, kicking herself for being indiscreet. Jeff immediately pounced,

'What about kids being molested? What's going on?' He demanded.

Both Gloria and Kenny shared a glance and with a nod from Kenny, Gloria took Jeff into their confidence.

♂♂

He was a nice man and made her feel happy. He offered to show her a secret place where real fairies lived. He said she looked like the fairy queen, but she had to promise not to tell anyone because it might scare the little fairies away. All he would say was that they lived near a small brook and only came out to play in the afternoon. It was afternoon now, so she eagerly followed him through the bush until they came across some running water. He told her to sit beside him and be quiet, so not to frighten the little people.

Then he told her that they had to take their clothes off so they looked the same as the pixies. She followed his example and soon they were both naked; her black skin a contrast to his blotchy white skin... Without clothes, he looked very ugly with horrible black hairs all over his body. She wondered if being so ugly it would frighten the little people away.

But what was ugly was a big tube of flesh that jutted out from his pee-wee. She'd never seen anything so ugly before. It had a big red bulb on the end and something was dripping out of it. Suddenly, she became frightened as he forced himself to lie on top of her. He nearly crushed her with his weight.

And he smelled bad. His body was all wet and he mumbled words into her ear. He whispered, and told her not to be frightened because the fairy people liked to watch before they came out to play. She knew something was wrong, very wrong and that she was in great danger. She fought to get from out under him but he kept her pinned against the rough ground. And then something really awful happened.

She felt something press against her little pee-wee hole and was shaken to realize that it was that horrible dripping thing she saw before. Now she was truly terrified; she didn't know what was happening and started to scream. But the sound was muffled as he placed his big hand over her tiny mouth. That was when her agony truly began.

He began to force that awful big thing into her pee-wee, but she was too small. The pain became unbearable. She felt her skin tear and felt wetness as bleeding commenced. She fought against him; she tried to push him off; she tried to twist her body to get that horrible thing out of her. But she couldn't. Oblivious to her pain and screaming, he kept forcing that thing deep inside her; ignoring her screams; ignoring the blood; ignoring her frantic resistance; he was lost in his own sickening pleasure.

It became too much for her to bear; mercifully she passed out and drifted away to another place where evil did not exist. Her last memories were of pain and his awful smell . . . and her mother.
Chapter Four

The parents of little Ruth Jalla were distraught that she didn't return home when expected. Ruth was known to wander off alone and this added to their concern. All the clan came together and started searching the bush where she loved to play. Sadly, it was a short search. Her body, crudely hidden by brushes and a few rocks, was found, not by her own people, but by a bushwalker out for a stroll.

The whole clan, and indeed the entire tribe rallied around her parents who were, in a word . . . gutted. Laurie Cree and Gloria were called to the scene and immediately set up a crime site. It became apparent that she didn't die where she was buried. Within a short time the true site of the killing was established . . . beside a small stream and so another crime site was cordoned off.

Silently, both officers surveyed the body which had been left bruised, bloody and twisted like a broken doll. Cree didn't offer any comment but Gloria spoke aloud,

'Well, it's certainly obvious that she's been raped; brutally raped and then . . . I was gonna say strangled but there are no signs of any ligature or hand marks around her neck. But look at her mouth; it's all bruised and lacerated. My guess – and it's only a guess – is that she was suffocated. I don't think he intended to kill her . . . if that's any consolation.'

Cree just mumbled, 'Looks like it,' and continued staring at the body. Then,

'Must 'ave been one of the abbos junked up on booze and petrol sniffing. Let's get the body to the coroner as quickly as possible; she's gonna start stinking soon.'

'Hey Sarge, shouldn't we call in the forensic team. There must be loads of invisible evidence we have to gather.'

'Such as . . . ?'

'Look on her body; it's covered with body fluids that aren't hers. I'd say he sweated a lot and it's all over her. We've got great DNA evidence which we can't ignore. All we have to do is match the DNA to a perp and we've got him!'

Grudgingly, Cree agreed and instructed,

'Get onto Melbourne and have a forensic flown out here ASAP. Assign two coppers to guard the crime scenes; and keep the bloody abbos away. They'll have to wait until we're finished before we can release the body to them.'

As Cree sauntered away, Gloria looked down at the broken body of little Ruthie Jalla.

You poor little girl; no one deserves to die like this; brutally raped and then suffocated; left in a shallow grave at the mercy of animals. What kind of depraved mongrel would do this; could do this. We'll get you shit face. You left your calling card all over her body. Now little Ruthie is yelling at us to take the evidence you left behind so we can strike you with the full extent of white man's justice; that is if the abbos don't get you first.

The news of Ruth Jalla's death spread like a bushfire throughout the community; particularly the Aboriginal community. Kenny accompanied Gloria to the settlement where they tried to comfort parents who were inconsolable. A death is always a traumatic event, but the death of a young child, and the circumstances of that death, is a heavy burden for any community to carry. Gloria had to ask questions about Ruth's last known movements; she found it a difficult and loathsome task.

But the early enquiries were disappointing and Gloria had to pin her hope on the forensic team coming up with some clues. At least they had DNA which was extremely important; she advanced the idea of having all the males in town providing DNA samples but Laurie Cree objected to this; at least at this time he wanted to pursue traditional avenues of investigation.

Then the forensic report arrived and confirmed the existence of foreign DNA on Ruth's body. But strangely, they also found tear drops on Ruth's face; it seems that the perp had cried over the body when he'd finished. What did this mean? Did the perp suddenly regret his killing?

After three days the investigation became bogged down, and Ruth's body was released back to her people for burial.

♂♂

'Do you know what you've done? I assume it was you who killed and raped the child. It was you . . . Wasn't it?'

'Yes, yes, yes! I didn't mean to; you've got to believe me. It was an accident. I . . . I Ummm, got carried away. I didn't know she was dead until . . . until, I'd . . . finished. Oh God, I feel awful. I . . . just had to talk to you . . . or someone!'

'And I shouldn't have answered my phone; but I knew it was you and needed to talk . . . you fuck'n idiot! You've put us all in danger. I've talked to a few of the others and they're ordering you to lay low; don't go out foraging until the heat dies down . . . if it ever will. You're a fuckwit!'

'Oh shit, I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. What can I do? What do you want me to do?'

'Drop dead would be nice, but that's too much to expect from you! D'ya know you left your DNA all over the child? Ya may as well leave a calling card!'

'How can I get 'round that?'

'Ya can't! Just make sure they don't obtain a sample of your DNA, because if they do, it's all over for you. You'll do time; but not for long, 'cause you'll be found dead with a crowbar up yer arse.'

( _Sobbing . . . muffled sobbing_ )

'Look, just act normal; hide your feelings and don't panic. I'll keep watch on the situation and I'll let you know of any developments that may point your way. Play it cool! Ok?'

'Yeah . . . all right. I'll do what you say. I promise.'

'Ok; don't call me, I'll call you.

♂♂

Two days after Ruth's death, Billy told Kenny he wanted to talk.

' . . . I'se really got the wind up about little Ruthie. What if it was one of the hippos who killt her? They know they'se not gonna try any rough stuff on me, and Botj is a real hard-arse even though he's only ten. The filthy perv's gotta pick on some little abbo girl who can't defend herself like us boys can. Fuck'n coward!'

'Yep, that's true Billy . . . but what's your point?'

'I'se wondering if we could bribe the hippo's info for sex? They get very hungry for a blow job or better and I think they'll do anything for a bitta relief.'

Kenny exploded,

'No way, no way hosay! Don't you go getting involved Billy and that applies particularly to you brother . . . and any other kids involved. We're dealing with some bad people here. They've killed once and I'm sure their gonna kill again . . . if they have to. Leave it to the cops; they'll find who killed little Ruthie.'

'What if the cops are involved; what if they'se covering up? How we gonna get justice If'n they'se all bad?'

'The local cops aren't involved any more. They've brung a team from Melbourne to handle the case; and Constable Meadows . . . you know Gloria Meadows? ( _Billy nodded yes_ ) . . . she's been asked to coordinate with the Melbourne cops.'

'But If'n they'se come in my mouth and I give the juice to you, won't you get that den nay from it?'

'You mean DNA. Yes that's true but you don't know the name of . . . _Jesus, how to I say this properly . . ._ the person belonging to the DNA sample.'

'Uhh. . I see the problem; but . . .'

'Billy, just leave it, huh! I know you're only trying to help but let the Melbourne cops – the Criminal Investigation Unit – do their job. Promise me you'll not do anything foolish!'

♂♂

'Gloria, can you imagine the bloody position I was in; there was this kid offering a mouth full of cum up for DNA analysis. It's bizarre. I didn't know what to say, except just 'leave it be' and let the professionals do their work. With Ruth Jalla's murder, all the rules have changed . . . somehow I've got to stop the boys offering sex favors for money. But I don't know how . . . I'm frustrated.'

'Same here.'

'What's the latest news from the investigation team, or are you not allowed to tell me?'

'I'll tell you what I can, but right now we both need a refill.' As Gloria made her way to the bar, Kenny looked around at the crowded RSL.

Was the killer here in this crowd, right now? Were there people who could offer more info? What does a killer look like? Questions, questions, questions.

Gloria returned from the bar and re-settled herself.

'All I know is that we have the perps DNA . . . loads of it. We even know he cried over the body, presumably after . . . he'd finished. All we have to do is match the DNA to whomever and the case is solved. Simple? . . . yeah right.'

'There must be some way; there must be some way to get samples of everyone's DNA. I'm gonna go down after school and let them take a swab from me. Surely, it's a process of elimination; the more they can narrow the field, the closer they'll get to the killer. But that's another issue; do you think I should tell them about the boys performing sexual favors for church people?'

'Oh, absolutely! Now that a child has been killed, the investigation team needs all the info it can get; at this morning's meeting they admitted that they had no fresh leads. Look at is this way, if you don't tell them you could be charged with withholding evidence or obstruction of justice. Do it ASAP!'

'Yeah . . . you're right. But first I'll tell Billy to pass the word around so's they don't get caught out.'

'No! No, absolutely not! You mustn't warn them. I know it's hard but . . . look Kenny; you don't owe anybody anything anymore. A child has been killed . . . brutally, so it's not the time to observe social niceties. Just do it! . . . or I'll do it myself!'

'Ok, Ok. I'll . . .' Just then Kenny's mobile rang and when he answered,

'Ken, it's Jeff. Look . . . Ummm, can I see you ASAP. I need to talk. Any chance you can meet me at the Settlers Arms in say, about half an hour?'

'If it's important, Ok. I'm at the RSL with Gloria Meadows; I can come now if you want?'

'I want; and Ken can you come alone. No reflection on Gloria but what I want to talk about is personal.'

♂♂

'Did Gloria mind? I didn't want to insult her or anything, it's . . . well, I want to talk just between you and me.' After a pause he said. 'Fuck Kenny, my life's a train wreck. My life's all shit! I don't know how much longer I can hold it together.'

Jeffry looked miserable. He was sitting forward with his arms on the table and his head hanging down. He hadn't shaved and was looking unkempt. Kenny leaned forward and gave him a comforting squeeze on his shoulder. The Shearers Arms was quiet and the lighting subdued; all conducive to a private meeting. This time Jeffry was only drinking beer without tequila shots.

'No, Gloria's Ok. Jesus Jeff . . . what's happened? The other night you seemed happy; maybe drunk happy, but happy just the same and now . . . what? What's happened to bring this on?'

'You, Ken . . . you. You happened!'

When Kenny's face portrayed his puzzlement, Jeff continued,

'I'm like you, Kenny . . . I . . . I'm . . . gay! No, please don't interrupt; please let me get it all out. I've been harboring these fears for a long time now and beside from medical people, I've had no one else to talk to. I feel trapped! I'm deeply depressed, I hate myself, and I'm very, very scared. I've tried to make my marriage to Cindy work . . . all these years I've tried; but when we have sex, I imagine I'm fucking some beautiful guy. I'm sick, ( _choke_ ) sick, sick! , and . . .'

The pent up emotion overwhelmed Jeff and he started to cry, gently at first but then worsened into deep racking sobs; he lost complete control. His emotional abyss was so deeply distressing that Kenny was at a complete loss on how to respond. In his confusion he just let Jeff cry it out. Eventually, when Jeff had exhausted himself,

'Shit Jeffry, I'm flabbergasted. Geeze. Wow! Now I can understand why you're so miserable. I hate to see you or for that matter, anyone so distraught.'

There followed silence as each struggled with their emotions. Eventually,

'Look Jeff, in a few words you just walked across a minefield. Let's start by me asking why you're so afraid?' Jeff took his time to consider his response.

'Well, wouldn't you be afraid having to live with both Laurie and Bert Cree. They're both so homophobic that if I had've told them I was a poofter they, or at least Bert, would've disowned me . . . or worse. Remember, even though Bert adopted me, I was an outcast. I had no close family ties to him; I was only the product of his wife's sister and my own dad. And remember, back then, being a queer, a faggot, was almost a death sentence. And who could I talk to? I felt a kinship with you, but back then I didn't know about your own sexuality. And we were just kids. Shit!'

Kenny took Jeff's hand and looked earnestly into his eyes before replying.

'I was in a mess meself Jeff. I knew I was different, but didn't know how different. Then one day I met an older guy, about 16 . . . I think I was only twelve, and he introduced me into the gay world. He was kind and gentle . . . I guess I was lucky. And when I met other gays, I realized I wasn't alone; that I simply was part of an enormous community that endured heavy discrimination. I guess I was lucky Jeff, really lucky.'

'Did you tell your parents . . . Bill and Clair?'

'Yes . . . ( _laughing_ ) and I got two entirely different reactions. My mother called me every bad name she could conjure – faggot, queer, poofter - and screamed that it was my father's fault; my father just ignored me, wouldn't speak to me.'

'How old were you?'

'About eighteen, I guess. I left home and went to live with my aunt down in Lorne. She was sympathetic and I never knew why . . . until my uncle, her younger brother, tried to rape me.'

'Shit! What happened?'

'Another story. Right now we're discussing you. You also mentioned talking to medical people. What's that all about?'

A shadow crossed Jeff's face and his brow crinkled as he fought painful memories. He sat back with one arm on the table. His posture became rigid, defensively rigid and he half turned away from Kenny. It took some time for him to respond. Then,

'I finally had a breakdown about two years after marrying Cindy. I just couldn't cope anymore.' He remained silent; dealing with painful memories. Kenny let him talk at his own pace.

'I blacked out, and they told me I was trying to punch a hole through a plank table. I woke up in a medical facility that dealt with mental issues. I talked to psychiatrists and attended group therapy sessions but never ever told anybody about my homosexuality. I just couldn't; it was like I'd erected a huge defensive wall and wouldn't allow anyone to breach it. I stood alone against the world.'

'You were that afraid? Christ! How painful that must have been!'

'Yeah! Eventually, one of the doctors who realized I was holding something back suggested using drugs to overcome my barriers. I agreed. They gave me LSD which didn't do anything and then . . . Sodium Pentothal, the truth drug. That worked . . . but I still resisted. I remember asking the female nurse to leave before I outed meself. These were the days when homosexuality was regarded as a mental illness, so I entered the next phase which they said would to 'cure' me and make me straight.'

Kenny was outraged.

'You're kidding right? You gotta be fucking kidding! I didn't know that the medical profession thought we were all sick. Today it's homophobia that's regarded as a sickness, not homosexuality.'

'Yeah well my friend, times change; slowly but eventually they do change.' Jeff fell silent and Kenny could see he was taking deep breaths. But his posture had softened; apparently talking about a painful past was helping him. Helping him to get it all out. Eventually,

'They gave me aversion therapy. Aversion therapy; ( _another deep breath_ ) which consisted of electric shock treatment, followed up by drugs.' Jeff paused, but Kenny remained silent too traumatized to say anything, too anguished to find the right words. He kept silent because he just didn't know what to say; he let Jeff continue.

'I don't know if you know anything about aversion therapy Ken, ( _Kenny signaled no!)_

Well it's very simple; first they electrocute you with increasing voltages and then this is followed by wiring you up to a machine which projects images on a screen. When they want a negative response they jab you with electric shocks. In my case every time a male image appeared on the screen I received an electric shock! Another treatment is to make you violently sick whilst watching nude male images.'

Jeff fell silent. Kenny too sat drained of emotion. Eventually, without saying a word, he collected their glasses and headed to the bar for a refill. On returning he prompted Jeff,

'What happened then? I mean after they fucked with you?'

'Then it was over to LSD. I was given a dose, I don't know what strength, and pictures of naked females would be projected in front of me.' Jeff stopped and started to sob. "I'm . . . ( _sob_ ) sorry Kenny. It's a ( _sob_ ) . . . bit distressing.' He downed a large gulp of beer. On an instinct, Kenny went to the bar and came back with two shots of tequila. Jeff downed his and then virtually smashed the glass against the table top. Just then, Ken's mobile rang. It was Gloria.

'Is everything alright? Is Jeff OK? D'ya need my help?'

'Thanks for calling Gloria. No, Jeff is very not OK. He's been telling me a story that is just unbelievable. It's mind-boggling. I'll fill you in; no, I'll let Jeff. . . ( _Jeff nodded OK_ ) fill you in when he's able. I'd rather let Jeff tell you himself. However we're into shots now. But don't worry; we'll call a cab.'

When he finished the call, Jeff – fortified by the booze - took up his story.

'After several weeks, I left the hospital . . .'

Kenny interrupted, 'Did Cynthia know any of this; your outing that is. Did she know you'd told the medical people that you were gay?'

'No! When I left the hospital I just resumed my life before the breakdown. No one knew I'd outed myself. Only me; little o'l me. I just resumed my previous life as if nothing had happened.'

'I'm confused; what was the point of going through all that pain without any gain. It doesn't make sense.'

'You're right! Absolutely right. What happened was an outcome even the medical people hadn't predicted. I was left with an identity crisis. Part of me . . . a small part of me was trying to react to the aversion therapy but the other larger part retained my homosexuality. They really fucked me up! They thought they could change black to white, but I just ended up being a mixture of both. Call it a very dark shade of grey. The bottom line was I didn't really know who I was; and that's the way I've been living for years. Except that my homosexuality just became stronger and stronger; the more I ignored my natural orientation, the stronger it grew.'

'Jeff,' Kenny said softly. 'That's a horrible story. I can't begin to imagine the stress you've had to live with. And you've been holding this inside all alone. What mongrels those medico's were! They tortured you; no other word for it. You were tortured in the modern era as you would have been in mediaeval times; except, there was no visible injury. No blood spilt. Shit!'

Kenny looked deeply into Jeff's eyes and tried to convey reassurance. But Jeff continued,

'So here I am Kenny, a gay man trapped in a heterosexual marriage and terrified of 'coming out.' That's me in a nutshell!'

'Jeff, what do you want to do? How would you like to end this impasse? Look, as I see it, you've only really got two choices; continue as you are and somehow live with the strain or 'come out'; get a divorce or annulment from Cynthia and begin to live your life. You're still very young; still young and attractive enough to find a partner and live as a gay man.'

Jeff sat mulling over what Kenny had said. Then he got up, grabbed their empty glasses, went to the bar, and returned with refills and two more tequila shots. He still hadn't answered Kenny's question.

'It's not that simple; ( _Kenny sat back showing his frustration_ ) Cynthia is a strict catholic and won't agree to divorce. And I don't think I can handle the hostility that coming out would attract. I'm not strong like you Kenny. I'm weak; I guess both Cindy and Laurie know that.'

'We're all weak at times; every person has their strengths and weaknesses. Jeff, what you've been through would crush any man. What they did to you is . . . is disgusting. You've survived but you're damaged; but not damaged beyond repair. You can get your life back, but only you can do it. Whilst I - and Gloria - have got your back, you've got to start being pro-active.' Kenny hesitated but before Jeff could interrupt, Kenny continued,

'It's always easy for someone from the outside to give advice; giving advice is easy. Acting on that advice is really hard. I'm gonna be there for you buddy,' and Kenny leant across the table and gave Jeff's hand a squeeze. Once again Kenny felt a surge of sheer pleasure; Jeff's tense facial features also softened for a moment.

'C'mon, enough of drama; let's get pissed and catch cabs home.'

♂♂

"I'm sorry, I need to talk to someone . . . I can't go on pretending. I keep looking over my shoulder, waiting for the police to arrest me. How could I have killed that poor little girl? I didn't mean to . . . I think it's better I go straight to the police and confess.'

'Are you completely mad? You fuckwit! What about the rest of us? Hmmm. You don't give a shit about anybody except yourself. You disgust me; go away, keep quiet and let things cool down. Remember they might have your DNA but they can't match it to anyone. And you're looking a mess. Go and clean up; then go and relieve yourself with a little girlie porno.

♂♂

'We have a problem! Unfortunately, it's become a serious problem.'

'Let me guess . . . our little friend?'

"Yes. He's starting to crumble . . . already; and I'm sure that when he does, he'll take us all down with him. We're running out of options.'

'Don't be a fuckwit! You mean we've run out of options. He's made the decision for us. Put simply, it's either him or us. Correct?'

'( _Sigh_ ) yes. I kept hoping that we could ride it out, but I know now that we cannot. I don't know what the next step is? I've . . . I've . . . well, I've never had to face anything like this before. I feel terrible.'

'Bullshit! You know exactly what we have to do now. If you're so squeamish, I'll have to handle it; we can't have you getting your lily white hands dirty, can we? You make me wanna puke!'

'You can drop that superior tone. You're just as concerned about your part in the whole mess. The difference between you and I is that I feel remorse whereas you obviously don't.'

'( _Sniggering laughter_ ) Ok, just leave it to me.'

♂♂

Fa. James yawned and stretched his legs. His watch indicated only another twenty minutes before the afternoon confession ended, and he was already looking forward to a cup of tea with Fa. O'Brien. Then the indicator light came on signaling a penitent had entered the confessional. With practiced ease he slid open the communication panel and waited for the parishioner to begin.

. . . And waited.

Then came the sound of sobbing . . . soft racking sobs.

'Don't be stressing yourself so. Take your time; and if you'll be wanting to freshen up, there's a box of tissues nearby. Gently now; I've got all the time in the world, so you take your time. Let's start with your last confession; when was it?'

'( _Sob_ ) about three weeks ago . . . no, it's more like two weeks ago; no . . . it's three weeks now. I've . . . ( _sob_ ) I'm all confused.'

'That's a good man. Now, what's happened in the last three weeks that has troubled you so?'

'I'm ( _sob_ ) fright . . . frightened to tell you. I've done something really, really bad. I . . . ( _sob_ ) . . . I . . . it's so bad I can't say the words. I wish I was dead! Father, my sin is so bad I don't think you can forgive me.'

Silence again . . . with the sound of sobbing. Fa. James waited. And then,

'There is no such sin that cannot be forgiven. Are you a good practicing catholic? Do you understand the grace given to you by making confession?'

'Yes, oh yes. I'm a brother at a catholic college. I understand my religion thoroughly. I ( _sob_ ) . . . I know about forgiveness. But father, you may be able to forgive me, but I can't forgive myself.'

'Well you came to confession for a reason, didn't you? You want to confess this sin that's eating away at you. You'll be wanting to share the burden?'

'Yes father, yes, yes, yes. I can't sleep; I'm depressed and have even considered suicide. I just can't go on pretending all's ok. I need to be punished!'

'Hold there; you know killing yourself is a mortal sin. You have no alternative now; you must confess.'

Silence; except for the sobbing and then,

'I suppose I'm really past caring . . . I . . . I killed someone; I killed a little girl; I ( _sob_ ) choked her to death with my hands; hid her in a shallow grave hoping that she wouldn't be found. I killed one of god's creations, with my own hands. ( _Sob_ ) Now I'm so sorry and scared.'

'( _gasp_ ) Are you talking about the little aboriginal girl that's in all the papers?'

'Yes . . . yes father . . . I am. I'm the ( _sob_ ) one that killed her.'

Blessed Jesus! This is unbelievable. Here, in my confessional, is the killer of that poor little girl. And he's come here to confess and seek forgiveness. How can I forgive his sin? His monstrous sin. But I don't have a choice; as atrocious as it is, I have to forgive him in the name of Jesus.

Fa. James allowed a silence to grow as he considered his position. Then the penitent asked,

'Can I be forgiven Father? I did not mean to harm the child but my . . . err . . . umm, lust drove me to it. Even though I've taken a vow of celibacy I still get unnatural urges that I try to suppress or control. Now, I can't control my urges any longer; for years I held them under control, but I can't anymore. My sexual urges are destroying me . . . have destroyed me.'

'In a way I can understand your dilemma; celibacy is a very hard way to live. If it were an adult I'd be understanding . . . probably sympathetic. I'd after being a hypocrite to say I've not had desires; but you raped and killed a little child. A little child of – eight I think – yes, eight years. That's not natural; it's unnatural. It's perverted; you're a deviant! A very sick deviant.'

'( _Sigh_ ) yes father I know. That's why I should kill myself. I don't deserve to live.'

'Enough of that!' Fa. James thundered. 'I'll hear no more talk of suicide. What you need is help. Psychiatric help! I can't help you there.'

After a pause . . .

'I'll give you absolution only, and I mean only, if you'll give yourself up to the police. Will you promise me, on your immortal soul, that you'll go straight to the police and confess to the crime? Will you do that?'

'Yes father, yes, yes, yes! I want to cleanse my soul. I'm just part of a ring of pedophiles operating in this town and else-ware. I acknowledge my sickness; I know I'm not normal, I'm a pervert but I'm not alone; this depravity has got to stop else there'll be other young kids killed.'

'( _under his breath_ ) Sweet Jesus!'

Silence . . . then,

'I give you absolution for your sins. Your penance will be going to the police and owning up to this horrible crime; you must also alert the police to the pedophiles you say are operating in this town. Do you agree?'

'Yes father; yes I do.'

Then let's say the Act of Contrition,

' _(together) Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my sins because . . ._
Chapter Five

After the penitent had left, Fa. James sat in the Confessional trying to absorb what he'd just heard. It was hard to accept that a brother priest could commit such a horrendous crime. He was shaken to the core; never before had he faced such an awful confession. Then the urge for normality overpowered him and he longed for his customary cup of tea with Fa. O'Brien.

'My heavens man, you look awful!' Fa. O'Brien remarked when Fa. James entered the kitchen. The latter was walking as if in a state of shock; his head hung low and his eyes appeared to be unfocussed. He sat down heavily in a chair, and simply stared at the steaming cup of tea placed in front of him.

Both men sipped their tea in silence. Eventually,

'Remember some weeks ago you told me you'd just heard a very startling confession?'

'Yes, of course. I still think about it; I mean, if it wasn't for the sanctity of the confessional, I should have reported the matter to the police. Who knows . . . perhaps the very same man might have killed that little girl. No . . . no, it couldn't be; he was lusting after young boys, not girls. Oh damn it, I've said too much.'

'No, now I have an understanding of how you must've felt. How does it feel, having the confession on your conscience?'

'Feel, how did it feel? It feels bad. I feel frustrated and angry that I can't say anything; that I must protect this evil person just to protect the sanctity of confession. Ummm . . . why do you ask?'

'Because I've just heard the confession of the person who killed the little indigenous girl, the little eight year old child that was brutally raped and then killed.'

'Sweet Jesus . . . No!' Fa. O'Brien nearly dropped the cup he was holding. He simply stared at Fa. James with a stunned look.

'He admitted to the crime? That he raped the child and then killed her?'

'It's so . . . and there was more?'

'More?'

'Yes, more. Apparently there is a ring of pedophiles operating around the town, and perhaps much wider.'

Then followed silence as both men grappled with their emotions; struggled with the enormity of the atrocity; the enormity of their dilemma . . . , and the hopelessness of their position. Fa. James broke the silence,

'I probably shouldn't have said anything to you. Am I breaking my oath on the sanctity of confession?

'Probably! And I shouldn't have said anything about my ghastly confession. In a sense we're both breaking our vows, but . . .'

'Let's just say that we're confessing to each other. Will that satisfy our oath?'

( _Sounding miserable_ ) 'Probably.' And then,

'James, let's try and sum up the whole situation as we know it.' ( _Seeing Fa. James nod_ ) he continued,

'We know that there is a ring of pedophiles operating in this town and that it extends both to young boys and young girls; ( _Father James nodded agreement_ ) and it's quite possible that the ring extends beyond the town, even to within the state and country. ( _Again Father James nodded_.) We also have a confession from a catholic brother to the rape and murder of that little aboriginal child.'

At that point Fa. O'Brien stopped and the two priests just looked at each other. This was an incredible position to be in. A horrible position to be in. But there they were, bound together by their knowledge of the crime and crimes, and their vow to uphold the sanctity of the confessional. It was Fa. O'Brien who spoke to break the silence,

'James, we share a horrible bond, so please call me Peter; this is no time to be formal with each other.' ( _Fa. James silently nodded his thanks_ ) Then Fa. O'Brien stood up and began pacing the floor,

'We can't do anything . . .' Just then James interrupted,

'Peter, I've remembered something. When he was in the confessional, the penitent was crying and I invited him to use the tissues that we make available for distressed souls. Those tissues would carry his DNA . . .'

'Go get them now James, before any of our volunteer ladies throws them out. I'll wait till you get back. I'll make some more tea.'

In no time Fa. James was back carrying a box containing several used tissues.

'I don't know what good these are Peter, all they really do is support the confession. We need to be able to have a name to this evidence.'

'( _With a sigh_ ) yes I know, that's what's so frustrating, but I've been doing some thinking whilst you were gone. We, as priests, can't do anything about the past crimes. Those we'll have to leave with the authorities. As far as the tissues are concerned, we will just keep them until we grapple with the larger problem.'

'And that is . . . ?'

'Our vow to uphold the sanctity of the confessional on one hand, and our duty to stop any further major crimes being committed on young children.'

' _Millis losa!_ We have to make that kind of choice _?_

'James, ( _laughing_ ) I notice you always lapse into Gaelic when you're distressed.'

'I do . . . I'm not sure; I'm neither prepared nor competent to make such a decision. Peter, I'm just a young parish priest; you're asking me to make a decision that will not only affect my life but the future of the church. Shouldn't we involve the church hierarchy in a momentous decision such as you're proposing?'

'Yes, of course we should. But James we don't have the luxury of time. Because young children are involved we can't afford to wait!'

'Sound like you've made your decision?'

'No, not yet; I'm just presenting the problem as I see it. Let's take another day to make our decision. We both should weigh up the consequences of either staying silent or speaking out. Perhaps we should consult Mr. Johnny Walker for inspiration. Yes?'

♂♂

'. . . So that's it in a nutshell! We have tonnes of evidence but no name to associate with the evidence. Forensics don't have anything more than the DNA. The question is how do we match the DNA to a person?'

Gloria spoke up with,

'Detective Inspector, I've been hearing rumors about abbo kids doing sex favors to men and getting paid for their services.'

Laurie Cree exploded. 'How come I'm just hearing about this now? How long have you been keeping this information from me?'

'I have told you before; you either weren't listening or you chose to ignore it! In fact all the cops here have heard the same rumors. Why they haven't said a word is probably because you tend to raise your voice . . . just like you're doing now!'

_Wow! These two have history_ (thought Tom Fitzpatrick) _Looks like we have a communications breakdown between the staff and sergeant Cree. I must look into this. Could be that info is not being passed on. That's Cree's fault._

'Constable, don't you dare talk back to me, I'll . . .'

'Hey, stop this! Remember we're all supposed to be working together.' And then when tempers had cooled down,

'I'm getting a lot of pressure from Burke Street and the indigenous community to solve this case, so Senior Constable why don't you fill me in on what you know.'

So Gloria, ( _without identifying names_ ) outlined Kenny's info from Billy Yorta and her own suspicions based on rumors. When she finished Tom Fitzpatrick sat forward in his chair,

'So, ( _sounding enthusiastic_ ) if we could interrogate these kids we'll probably pick up some more leads. It's our only pointer to avoid a dead end.' But Cree wasn't going to give in.

'Let me assure you Detective Inspector,' intoned a belligerent Sergeant Cree. 'Regardless of what Senior Constable Meadows had inferred, there is no pedophile ring operating in or near this town. If there was, I would have heard about it!' Gloria responded,

'Detective Inspector . . .'

'Please, both of you call me Tom when we're alone. Sometimes formality has its drawbacks.' ( _Both Gloria and Laurie Cree acknowledged their thanks_ ). Gloria continued,

'The problem is I don't think the abbo kids will open up. It's a great source of income for their parents; in short they need the money.'

'Christ Almighty! I don't believe that parents would want to have their kids sexually molested let alone enjoy the money the kids earn. That's fuck'n awful!' Fitzpatrick sat back in his chair with a look of disbelief. Then after a pause,

'Well, it's the only lead we've got so let's give it a try. How about we start interviewing the kids at the local Marist brother's college?'

'Yeah,' said Sergeant Cree with a sneer. 'Who's gonna ask Br. Dominic? And how are you gonna get the parents' permission if they're the ones you say are profiting from the kids' activities? Lots of luck!'

♂♂

Eventually Ruth Jalla's body was released to her parents and the burial rites began. Because custom demanded that her name could not be mentioned she was simply called 'unynah' meaning 'sleeping child'. People that were friends, and others who were mere acquaintances, came from all over to join in the 'big sorrow'.

The bereaving family stayed in their house to welcome all well wishes; there was a lot of crying and weeping for poor little 'unynah'. The elders sat together and watched as ceremonial dances were performed and food distributed. As an adopted brother, Kenny felt it his duty to attend and invited Gloria to come with him. Billy Yorta was there of course, as he was considered a part of Ruth's enlarged family. When Kenny and Gloria had courteously extended their regrets on the passing of Unynah, they sat and joined in the sorrowful proceedings.

'Shit, I feel awful,' Gloria whispered. 'It's gonna become common knowledge soon that all the abbo kids at the school are to be interrogated; I feel shitty just sitting here and not being able to say anything. Sometimes I hate this job!'

'When's that gonna happen? How can you do that without the parents attending or at least giving their permission? First I've heard of it! It stinks.'

'Yeah I agree, but Tom Fitzpatrick thinks it's our only lead; the investigation is going nowhere. He thinks that the kids might know something; at least they might open up a new line of investigation.'

'Well, I reckon it'll be a no-go; kids don't like talking to adults anyways and for them to grass on each other is . . . no it's stupid.'

Just then Billy sauntered over and said thanks for comin' Mr. K and you too Missus.'

'It's Ok Billy; we want to pay our respects.'

'Ummm . . . when you sees Mr. Jeff will you tell 'im not to worry; is'll keep me gob shut and won't say a word. Tell 'im not to worry; I'm cool.'

'Billy, what the fuck are you talking about?'

'I means when they'se gonna ask me and me mates questions about us suck'n cock.'

Gloria pounced,

'How did you know about the proposed interrogation? It's only been decided on yesterday.'

'Hey come on missus. That fuckwitt Sar'n Cree been shooting his gob around. Reckon it ain't a big secret round here.'

Gloria and Kenny exchanged glances; Kenny was bewildered, whilst Gloria was furious. Was Cree a blabbermouth or were his motives more sinister? Was he setting out to undermine the interrogation? Kenny found voice,

'Billy, where does Jeff Cree come into the picture? What has he got to do with you?'

'Ummm . . . I thinks I . . . err . . . I'se said too much, boss; best you 'ave a talk to Mr. Jeff.'

_That (_ thought Kenny _) I will certainly do!_

♂♂

They sat immobile not looking at each other but staring at their teacups. It had been a long, restless, and agonizing night for both priests. The residence's kitchen was large enough to accommodate a table on which was now set a teapot and pieces of buttered toast; however neither man had any appetite.

'Well, what have you decided on, James? One look at your face tells me it's been a long night; I guess we both look the worst for wear.'

'I'm sorry Peter . . . I haven't decided anything; I've gone around and around until I just confused meself. I suppose I'm gonna take the cowards way out and do nothing; remember its but newly ordained I am and an issue like this was never put before us in the seminary. We were told that the secrecy of the confessional was a sacrament not to be misused, and I'll be still strongly supporting the principle. I know we're talking about children . . . I know that, but surely it's an issue for the police to confront - not us.'

Peter O'Brien considered this and sat thoughtfully looking at James.

'Ah, James, your soft Irish brogue is pleasant music in a situation like this. What you say is true and I respect you standing by your principles. In fact, I'm glad you are, because I've decided as Parish priest the onus is on me to take issue on the matter ( _he watched as Fa. James face relaxed_ ). As I said last night, I see the issue as preserving the sanctity of confession on one hand and protecting children on the other. I believe the necessity to protect children is paramount. I don't believe that protecting the privacy of the confessional should override our responsibility to prevent crimes being committed – particularly against little kids.'

'Peter, ( _as James stirred his tea_ ) I'm feeling the same and I agree with what you're saying; perhaps I just don't have the courage to take any action. I'm ashamed; I wish I had your courage.' Fa. James sat in his chair looking miserable and Fa. O'Brien could sense his inner conflict.

'James, there is a lot to learn in being a priest; things happen in real life that they can't teach you in college. I don't want you to break your vows so early in your career; all I want you to do is perhaps give me advice when I tell you what I'm going to do.'

Fa. O'Brien levied himself out of the chair and crossed over to the sink where the recently boiled kettle was standing. Almost to himself he mused,

'We've spent many a pleasant time in this place and I've thoroughly enjoyed not only your company but our wide ranging discussions. Unfortunately fate sometimes shakes us out of our complacency; like now. ( _Pausing to replenish his tea_ ) I'm not going to make it easy on the police, but I intend to send an anonymous letter to the man in charge of the investigation that a catholic brother has confessed to the brutal murder of the little girl. That's all I will do; it should be enough for the police to intensify their investigations. If I'm asked a direct question I shall refuse by honoring the secrecy of the confessional. What do you think?'

'Ahhh . . . Peter, Peter that's a fine elegant solution. It's great! Maybe we . . . you're being clever but I know you can look yourself in the mirror and believe you've done the right thing. Can I help you with the letter?'

'You'd better young man; I'm no good with this computer stuff and I'm certainly not going to write the letter by hand; my handwriting is unfortunately unique. I want to make sure it's delivered without delay.'

♂♂

The following morning in a field near the college Bro. Simon's body was found by two young boys; it had been severely mutilated as well as being stabbed through the heart with what looked like, an Aboriginal spear. The formal identification was made by Bro. Dominic who collapsed after seeing the carnage done to Bro. Simon.
Chapter Six

If the finding of Bro. Simon's body rocked the town, the impact on the Marist College was utterly devastating. Students and staff were in shock and counselors were dispatched quickly to try and alleviate the trauma. The matter was made worse when details of the murder were somehow made known to the public. A note had been found near the body; in it Bro. Simon admitted to the rape and murder of Ruth Jalla. His genitals had been cut off and shoved down his mouth . . . an obvious message: Nauseating.

And of course, the indigenous spear which had pierced his heart obviously pointed to a revenge killing. Tom Fitzpatrick joined Gloria and Laurie Cree at the crime scene which was being thoroughly examined by the forensic team. Whilst Gloria and Cree were questioning the forensic squad, Fitzpatrick walked carefully around the body before examining the deceased.

_Something doesn't add up,_ (he mused) _finding a note carefully placed beside the body, supposedly an admission of guilt, and a spear through the heart, supposedly causing death, seems an attempt to confuse the investigation team. The genital mutilation is to be ignored; someone is being overly dramatic. But why leave a note? Surely the perp knows that we'll take a DNA sample and compare that with the sample found on the abbo girl?_

Gloria came over and asked, 'What do you think, Sir? There seems to be a lot of conflicting evidence.'

'Make sure the forensic gang take a DNA test and get them to rush me the result. If the note is true, then we've found the killer of the abbo kid. I just don't understand Gloria why a note was left anyway. I want them to go over the note carefully; something tells me that we may have two perps at work.'

'Yes sir, right away. I noticed that there wasn't much blood around the body. I'd say he was killed elseware and the body dumped where it could be found easily.'

'Yes. I noticed that. What's Sergeant Cree up to?'

'Better you ask him.'

Laurie Cree was standing looking down at the body when Fitzpatrick joined him.

'Looks like the abbos got their revenge. Nasty way to die; the bastards didn't have to slice off his gonads. I hope he wasn't alive when they did . . . poor bastard.'

'That's if the indigenous people did it. We'll have to wait for the Medical Examiner to give cause of death, but looking at the pressure marks around his neck, I'd say that the spear was just to lay a false trail. Tell me Sergeant _(in a quizzical tone_ ), why would a respectable catholic brother want to harm the little girl? Have you heard any rumors about wrongdoing at the college? Have there been other incidences of crime involving the college faculty?'

'Nothing concrete; just rumors such as told to you by Snr. Constable Meadows. Are you still going to interrogate the abbo kids? I still reckon they'se the one's done it.'

Tom Fitzpatrick couldn't contain himself any longer,

'They'se the one's done it! They'se the one's done it! You amaze me Cree; how you got to be a fucking Sergeant I can only wonder! You haven't an inkling of what's going on in this town; you don't connect with your own staff and as far as what's going on . . . you're less than useless.'

'Hey . . . arsehole! You can't talk to me like that; just 'cause you outrank me doesn't give you the right to sledge me. I can pound little shits like you into dust. Take off yer bloody jacket and face me like a man. Let's sort this out as men do!'

'And that's exactly what I mean! You can't use your brain so you resort to violence. I'm not afraid of you Cree and once this investigation's over I'll gladly put on gloves with you; but for the time being I've got a job to do. Your job is to stay away from the investigation completely. Now piss off!'

Fitzpatrick was still fuming when Gloria walked over,

'Well, we all heard that little love scene; can't say's I blame you. Ever since he found out I'm gay he's been sledging me big. Can I have a crack at him first?'

'Yes Senior Constable, ( _laughing)_ when this is over you can do what you like - be my guest. I don't think Cree will know what hit him.' And then turning back to the crime scene,

'Gloria, what do you make of those marks around his neck? Looks to me like ligature marks, ( _and then straightening up_ ) can you hasten up the Medical and forensic reports; they'll give us a clearer picture.'

Just then a young constable came running over and ( _breathlessly_ ) told Fitzpatrick that an anonymous letter had been received at the police station which had crucial implications for the case.

♂♂

Back at the cop's shop Gloria and Fitzpatrick ( _wearing latex gloves_ ) carefully examined the letter which read,

'In our confessional, a catholic brother has admitted to the murder of Ruth Jalla.'

'Well now Gloria, what do you make of this? It's incredible! I've never had this happen t'me before. A priest . . . divulging info from a confessional. Weird!'

'I'm just blown away, Tom. I know a lot about Catholics and know they take the sanctity of the confessional very seriously. What are you going to do about it?'

'Get it to forensics to see if there are any clues as to who wrote the letter; but if the corpse's DNA matches that taken from Ruth Jalla, the letter is superfluous, if not very bizarre.'

'But Tom, it does point to something deeply wrong in the college. It supports some of the rumors I've heard. Surely now we have to interrogate the Faculty and not the aboriginal kids. I mean, is this just a brother acting on his own, or are we dealing with something more sinister . . . more extensive?'

'Spot on! Let's set up a series of interviews at the college. You'll need the Headmasters assistance 'cause I'd like a room set aside for the interviews; it's essential to do this as soon as you can. Just let me know when you're ready.'

♂♂

The news about Bro. Simon had shocked Kenny; how ( _if it were true_ ) could a respectable Catholic teaching Brother, murder a little child? He'd arranged to meet Jeff at the Shearers and while he was waiting he mulled about the news.

That poor little girl . . . a young life snuffed out long before her time (if it were true) by a pedophile catholic brother. What could drive a respectable person to do such wrong? Although I didn't like Br. Simon (after he accosted me), I wouldn't or couldn't believe him capable of murder. No way! But I do know that it's very unlikely the aboriginal people would do such a crime. But then do I? If Bro. Simon is guilty of killing Ruthie Jalla then why wouldn't her people avenge the crime? But how would they know Bro. Simon killed Ruth? Hmmm, I assume the cops are . . .

'Hey big fella, you look far away; what gives?'

Kenny looked up to find Jeff standing by the table; he'd been so deep in thought he hadn't noticed Jeff come in.

'Aarh, just think'n about the news that Bro. Simon has been killed; seems unreal. I'm having difficulty dealing with the reality of it.'

'Yeah, it's shitty! Hey, you need a refill; I'll go and get us two newbie's.'

Jeff was wearing his trademark 'spunk' gear of white t/shirt and blue jeans. As he leant against the bar Kenny had to admire his small but hard buttocks which strained against the jeans material. When Jeff returned, Kenny again felt that wave of pleasure. He never seemed to lose that half-smile which made his face very attractive . . . and kissable.

As Jeff sat down he took a large quaff of Vic. Bitter and asked,

'Well Kenny, I'm sure you didn't ask me to meet here unless you had a mysterious reason; I'm intrigued. C'mon out with it; have you got some secret info about the killings?'

'Nah, nothing like that. Jeff, ( _slowly and cautiously_ ) I don't want to pry into your private life; you've already been very open with me, so I hope that what I have to say doesn't offend.'

'Shit Kenny, you've got me really worried, what's so personal that you're being so secretive?'

There was a silence as the two young men faced each other; one waiting expectantly and the other almost ashamed of what he was about to say. Then Kenny leant forward and looking Jeff in the face reiterated what Billy Yorta had told him (and Gloria) at Ruth's funeral. The impact was immediate and visible. Jeff slumped back into his seat and looked completely deflated. He couldn't look Kenny in the eye.

The silence continued until,

'I'm sorry Jeff; I gather it's true; Billy was giving you sexual favors wasn't he? Don't get me wrong, I'm not being judgmental; I just thought you should know in case Billy blurts it out when being interviewed.'

'Oh shit, ( _mumbling_ ) oh shit. Fuck! Oh no! That's all I need. I 'spose the whole towns gonna know I've been sucking an abbos dick . . . and worse, ( _looking at Kenny_ ) I 'spose you're disgusted with me.'

'Me! ( _Kenny started laughing_ ) If I ever tell you some of the stuff I've got up to over the years, just to get sexual relief . . . well ( _still laughing_ ) you're just a sweet little angel; but why Billy?'

'Before I answer that, _(taking another large gulp of beer_ ) before I answer that, try, and see the predicament I was in. Having sex with Cindy was a duty. I had to get pissed just to fuck her; all the time wishing I was with a guy. Sometimes I fantasized about you . . . sorry if I embarrass you, but I do, and always have had, strong feelings about you. So how was I going to relieve myself; how was I going to have sex with a guy . . . here, in this town? Ha! Then one night I saw Billy servicing some repulsive creature and . . . and . . . well I summoned up the courage and asked him if he could help me; ( _pause to take another swig)_ would you believe it, we became friends . . . good friends who enjoyed having sex together. He is gay you know; just can't come out because it's not allowed in their culture. Oh shit ( _looking at Kenny who had gone bright red_ ) Christ . . . have I offended you? Tell me if I've offended you.'

'No Jeff ( _laughing_ ) no, you haven't offended me; it's just that nobody has given me such a compliment before. I'm used to having shit thrown at me; I actually liked what you said. No . . . I loved what you said. I'm more than flattered that someone fantasized about me and particularly if that someone's you. Strange isn't it that feelings can lie dormant for so long and then come crashing back many years later; what I'm saying ( _Kenny paused and looked at Jeff with naked emotion)_ what I'm trying to say is that I'm feeling very strongly about you . . . maybe even love you.'

Thus began a very tender moment when the two boys, sitting across from each other, silently bonded and accepted they were beginning a relationship. The silence continued until Kenny,

'I don't know where this is moving Jeff, nor do I know how we're going to end up. We're both carrying a lot of baggage. We're both carrying a lot of sadness, bad history, and trauma; you've got Cindy to deal with and I've got my own demons to overcome. I don't want to find out that your entering a relationship just to escape Cynthia; I can't expose myself in a relationship with you and then have to go through a break up similar to the one which made me leave Melbourne.'

Jeff was leaning forward and listening intently to what Kenny was saying. As Kenny finished he reluctantly nodded his head in agreement. At that moment Jeff thought Ken the most beautiful man in the world. Beautiful but unattainable.

'Shit Kenny, just to know you have feelings for me gets my heart rate up. Just to know that someday there's a chance that I can live the life I want with the person I love is enough for now. I can't help myself Kenny; I want to kiss you right now, here, in public and without fear. But I can't and I accept that. ( _He paused, reached across the table and squeezed Kenny's hand_ ) However, you alluded to the reason you left Melbourne but you've never told me what happened. What did happen? Tell me to bugger off if I'm getting too personal, but I'd like to know.'

'Nah, it's Ok.' Kenny sat slumped back in his seat and to Jeff he was obviously struggling with some painful memories. Seeing both their glasses near empty, Jeff stood up and headed back to the bar. It was very quiet and gloomy in the Shearers; an atmosphere that reflected Kenny's innermost thoughts. When Jeff returned, Kenny took a long swig of his beer and sat back up to the table. Jeff remained quiet, letting Kenny tell his story at his own pace.

'( _Sigh_ ) His name is Rickie Siracussa and he played for the Bulldogs . . . perhaps you've heard of him? ( _Jeff shook his head_ ) . . . no? Ok. We were together for two years but kept our relationship private. The Bulldogs are a very homophobic club and I always understood why he didn't want anyone to know about us. It was the first serious relationship I'd ever had and I just loved being a couple. His family was of Italian origin where it was understood that you'd get married and have kids \- lots of kids. In the meantime I'd decided to 'come out' and Rickie was seriously against this. I can understand in a way; both his family and the Bulldog's footy club were homophobic, so life would have been very hard for Rickie.

( _Kenny paused to take a long gulp of beer_ ) Even after that we still had a satisfactory relationship but, for Rickie's benefit, we had to be furtive. We had lots of friends in the gay world and they were very supportive; they understood the tensions our relationship entailed and tried to help as much as possible. ( _Laughing_ ) I could tell you some hilarious stuff about our dinner parties; Rickie was a very genial host. But back to my saga. Soon Rickie began staying out late and I believed every excuse he gave. I was completely trusting until one of my close friends told me he was often seen at one of Melbourne's most sleazy bathhouses. ( _Kenny paused to wolf down another hefty gulp)._

I was devastated. It made me feel dirty . . . betrayed. Don't get me wrong; I used to go there when I was younger to get me rocks off, but never after we went into the relationship. Never! ( _Jeff nodded his acceptance)_ Well, I fronted Jeff and he admitted doing the bathhouses; told me it wasn't anything to do with me or our being a couple, it was because he was a sex addict. A sex addict do you mind! I told him I also had opportunity to have sex with someone else; in fact after I came out I had many offers, but the difference was that, being a responsible adult, I could control my urges. Then he dropped the bombshell! ( _Jeff's mouth was open waiting to hear more_ ); he told me he was gonna get married to satisfy his family and give up being gay! ( _Jeff mumbled Shit_!)

Can you believe the guy? Can you? He thinks he can turn being gay on or off just like a tap. I told him he was just getting married to hide his true self; that you can't change basically who you are. He ignored me. It was like pouring proverbial water on the proverbial duck's back. Then, to add insult to injury, he invited me to his wedding. I really felt let down Jeff; betrayed more like, so I decided to cut my losses, move out of Melbourne and start afresh. That's it!'

For a moment Jeff said nothing but he was furiously thinking,

This Rickie is a mirror image of me; I got married not only to hide my being gay, but to cure myself. No wonder Kenny's reluctant.

'Wow Ken, that's a real bummer. I understand why you don't want a relationship with anybody that even slightly resembles your time with Rickie; and I'm living the same mistake that your lover made, ( _Ken went to interrupt but Jeff just said . . .)_ no! Let me finish, please; we've got to be honest with each other, and I've got to be honest with myself. I've got to solve the shitty mess I'm in. Shit Ken, all I want to do now is hug and kiss you; but I realize that's not on . . . that is until I clean up my own life.'

Kenny reached over and squeezed Jeff's hand saying,

'And I don't want you to tear your life apart because of me. I want what you want Jeff; just remember that. Also I'm not that emotionally strong to be able to resist you. I'm only human and you are one spunky lad!'

'Thanks Ken, I . . . .'

'Don't say any more. Not now anyway. On a lighter note, how's Laurie? I gather he's been ordered away from the investigation – or so Gloria told me.'

'Yeah, he's like the proverbial bear with a bad tooth; grouchy, nasty and just generally unpleasant. I almost doubled up with laughter the other night when we were over at his house for a BBQ; I overheard Betty Cree tell Cindy that she thought Laurie was having an affair. ( _Laughing_ ) can you imagine someone as ugly and anti-social as my brother having an affair with anyone?

'You're not serious? ( _Joining in laughing_ ) Sergeant Cree having a nookie behind Betty's back; she'd kill him wouldn't she? From what I've heard Betty Cree is one hell of a feisty bird. Surely it's just women's talk.'

'Of course.'

Once again Kenny was enraptured by the permanent half smile on Jeff's face. It gave his countenance a teenage look. Mischievous. But there was some unfinished business.

'What are you going to do about Billy? You know you can't keep seeing him!

'I know, I know!' ( _Exasperated_ )

'He's just a kid Jeff; you shouldn't fuck around with his emotions. For all you know, he may even be in love with you. Did you think about that?'

'No I didn't ( _sounding ashamed_ ) I guess I didn't. To me we were just having sex without any emotional ties. He satisfied me and I thought I was also giving him an outlet. It seemed to work for both of us. Now, I don't know. What do you think I should do?'

'Hey, it's your problem – not mine. Just be truthful and gentle. Anyway, just talk to him; he may surprise you. He's got a great future in footy so I guess I'm involved with you both. How 'bout you have a talk with him, then get back to me with his reaction; as soon as I know how he feels, I'll have a talk to him. Ok?'

'Great. Thanks.'

'Fuck this! All this drama has made me boozy needy. I'll get some shots so we can relax a little.'

'Suits me ( _laughing_ ); let's get pissed!'

♂♂

"What kind of sick fuck are you? Why not just kill the little shit and be done with it? Hacking off his balls and shoving an abbo spear into him isn't going to achieve anything except rile everybody. Have you seen the newspaper reports? Have you? I agree he had to be taken out but . . . well . . . perhaps not so dramatically; you've only made our situation worse. What about the others? Are you gonna kill everybody? I'm out of this; from here on yer on yer fuck'n own.'

'Don't give me that bullshit! You're in up to your gills just like everybody; and I didn't kill the creep. I purposely sent a message to all our friends, both at the college and elseware, that talking or threatening to talk was just not an option, unless they're prepared to suffer the consequences. As to the newspaper reports, they should convince any of our friends that we're serious. Now is the time we close ranks and try and mislead the cops so that inquiry dies a natural death.'

'What an arrogant fuck-wit you are. This is a major crisis, and all you do is tell everyone to say nothing and the investigation will disappear. Did you know the little shit had confessed to another priest that he'd murdered the abbo kid . . . ?'

'. . . ( _Interjecting_ ) What! What're you talking about? How did you come by that piece of info?'

'Don't interrupt me arsehole! An anonymous letter was sent to the police station and went through the place like diarrhea. In the end it was superfluous because they're waiting on the forensic report which will definitely show that our Bro. Simon was indeed the killer. Don't you understand what this means; if a priest betrays his vows of sanctity then a new dynamic has just entered the scene.'

'Shit! Shit! NO, I didn't know. Wow. Why would a priest do that? You're right; this takes the whole matter to a new level. I'm having trouble getting my head around that . . . ( _silence, then_ ) I'll have to think this through very, very carefully. . . ( _Silence again, till_ ) . . . perhaps we can create a diversion by putting heat on the Catholic Hierarchy to punish the priest; that's the only suggestion I can come up with quickly. What do you think?'

'Well, it's worth a try. But we're still left with an ongoing inquiry that's definitely not going our way; please, please promise me you'll not do anything drastic without informing me first'

'( _Sigh)_ you got it.'

♂♂

With a copy of the forensic report in his hand, Fitzpatrick addressed the whole police station staff (including Sergeant Cree) in the duty room. He wanted to make sure that everybody knew firsthand the findings of the Medical Examiner and the forensic team.

'There's no doubt about it; it's been officially confirmed that Bro Simon of the Marist College raped and killed Ruth Jalla. ( _He waited as a low murmuring swept the room_ ). Nothing has come to light on the letter, the spear, and the butchering of the corpse; we can ignore these and concentrate on the staff at the Marist College. Someone must know something. You all know by now that a letter has been received from a local Catholic priest telling us that a priest confessed to the crime under the sanctity of the confessional. Once again this tells us that there's something very wrong involving the local catholic clergy - particularly the staff at the local college. Therefore I want all staff interrogated and statements taken of staff activities during the last 48 hours. I will be discussing the whole police procedure with the Headmaster Bro. Dominic so that he can apprise his staff of our requirements. Any questions so far?'

A young constable from the back spoke up,

'Where do you want these interviews conducted, at the college or here at the station?'

'Definitely at the college; this will give you an opportunity to observe the daily activities of the people and get a feeling for college life. Anything; and I repeat anything, which makes you suspicious, note it down. The smallest item could be significant.'

He paused again to allow questions.

'Who do we report to – you or the Sarge?'

'To me. I'm coordinating all aspects of the investigation; Sergeant Cree has enough on his hands running the station.' This brought some wry smiles which were noticed by Cree. Another hand went up at the back,

'If we are questioned are we allowed to report that the brother did rape and kill the abbo kid?'

'Yep, you may as well; but if you think someone is asking too many questions or questions which you think are unnecessary, report to me immediately. Remember, sometimes major cases are solved by the smallest detail.'

'Inspector ( _this time it was Gloria who spoke up_ ) are there any sensitive areas we should avoid such as church doctrine and practices which are usually denied access to lay people; I mean are there any limitations on our presence at the college?'

'Good question; the answer is absolutely not! If anyone tries to deny you access to information or prevents you from entering any area, let me know immediately; I'll sort it out.' Again from Gloria,

'What about the kids? How involved do we get with them?'

'I'll be asking the Headmaster to arrange a general assembly of all school people, both faculty and students, to tell them they must cooperate with the police enquiry. Obviously, we can't conduct interviews with kids by themselves without parents or an adult person being present; but if a child approaches you and offers information, tell me and I'll organize the appropriate supervision. Ok?'

The room fell silent until a questioner,

'So our job is to find out who killed the killer, eh?'

♂♂

It was a very apprehensive Jeff who sat on the grass awaiting Billy. This was the spot that they had often used for their trysts. A small steam meandered softly through the bush and watered the grassy bank; with the sun streaming down it made for a secluded and idyllic place to meet.

_Geez, what a beautiful place this is, with such wonderful memories. Without Billy I would've gone gaga with frustration; why do I have to tell him we can't meet anymore? Shit, I'm only human; I need Billy. I need human contact to satisfy my sexual needs. What's wrong with that? Even now I'm getting antsy; I haven't had a good root for over a week and I'm supposed to tell him no more? (_ Sigh) _but Ken's right; we need to cool it temporarily . . ._

'Hi, Mr. Jeff . . . yous're early! Man yous're look'n sexy. Wish I had dem muscles of yours.'

Jeff looked up at Billy standing above him and once again felt that wave of expectation. Billy was wearing short pants that exposed his hard wiry leg muscles. Already, Billy's crotch bulged with anticipation ( _as was Jeff's_ ); but it was Billy's facial features that attracted Jeff and compelled him to lust. Being of mixed heritage, he had the face of an angel. His jet black eyes penetrated into Jeff's soul and his pert little nose defied the usual broad aboriginal appendage of his ancestors. Jeff's heart began to race.

Stop it!

When Billy sat down and pressed his bare leg against Jeff's leg, the contact sent a bolt of electricity through Jeff. This was the way it always started; Billy would take charge and work his magic on Jeff's body. Billy also had an earthy aroma which made Jeff dizzy with desire.

Then, a very large brown hand began to creep up Jeff's naked leg, causing Jeff to tremble with anticipation; he began to sweat and subconsciously opened his legs wide as an invitation . . .

No! No! I shouldn't let this go any further; but I want to, I need to . . . Kenny, Kenny, I'm sorry; I can't help myself. I don't want him to stop!

Billy expertly undressed Jeff and when that was done he stripped himself naked. With nothing on, the shape of his steely muscled body made Jeff gasp with pleasure; and he sported a very large brown penis that even as he watched, grew to impressive proportions. When the boy's hand reached his rigid cock, Jeff moaned.

'Oh man; ( _gasp_ ) Oh shit, that's sooo good. Don't stop Billy; ( _whisper_ ) I love you doing that; ( _intake of breath_ ) Oh man!'

Soon they repositioned so that they were both able to suckle each other's cock. Jeff loved the taste of pre-cum that seemed to endlessly ooze out of Billy whose cock was now painfully erect.

'( _Softly_ ) Mr. Jeff, I'se gett'n close; you'se gonna make me 'splode! Can I'se get inside you now? . . . Quick.'

Jeff needed no urging and soon Billy was deep inside him; their coupling did not last long because Billy was all fired up. His frantic movement increased and he thrust harder and harder until,

As ecstatic shudders convulsed his entire body, Billy climaxed with a long and euphoric deep howl.

Just after that Jeff reached his own bellowing climax, spilling his pent up seed all over the grass. When he'd finished, Billy put his arms around Jeff and they lay there on their stomachs enjoying the afterglow of their orgasms.

There was absolute silence except for the musical chirping of birds and rustling in the undergrowth. Jeff could hear the musical tinkling of the stream as it meandered through the glen; and dappled sunlight made ever-changing patters as a breeze moved gently through the trees. Jeff rolled over and propped on one elbow, ran his hand along the satiny brown skin of his companion.

_He's so beautiful . . . and so vulnerable. I don't want to hurt him (_ sigh _) but I must talk with him._

'What did you'se want to talk t'me about? Ya said it was 'portant. What ya want t' say?'

Billy had rolled over and now lay facing Jeff on his side supported by his elbow. Jeff began to struggle with the right words to answer him.

'I guess you know about Ruth's killer being found dead with his confession alongside him.'

'Yeah . . . I knows. I also knows that the bludger who killed that parasite shoved an abbo spear through his gut to try and put the blame on us. What a fucker. Him dat did it knows nothing 'bout us blackfellas. Anyway, what's dat to do with us? Ya don't think I done it do yer . . . Do yer?'

'No! No; of course I don't! But the investigation is heating up. I've heard that all the teachers at the school are going to be interviewed . . . interrogated; they may start interviewing students too. If they want to interview you, tell them you must have one of your parents and a rep. of the Aboriginal Legal office with you at the interview. Promise me, Billy. Promise me!'

'Alright, alright; keep yer socks on. I hears ya! Dat's ok, but what dat got to do wid you'se and me?'

Oh fuck!

'I was talking to Kenny . . .'

'Hey, dat Mr. Kenny he's a good fella. We'se made 'im part of our clan. Did you'se know dat? T'me he's a god. When he trains me at footy I do everything he tells me. I even offered to give 'im a blow job but him didn't want one. Would you'se be shitty If'n I gave him a suck?'

'. . . ( _ignoring Billy_ ) talking to Kenny and he reckons we maybe shouldn't see each other for a while.' All of a sudden Billy sat up with a frightened look on his face. Jeff could see the beginning of panic in his features.

'Don't understand; we don't sees each other 'cept here when we do the sex. Ain't any one sees us here?'

Shit! Shit! Shit!

'It's too dangerous Billy, Even the kids have to stop doing sex favors for money. The cops are in an angry mood; I heard my brother . . .'

'Yer brother's a fuck wit! He ain't that rosy either; and the udder kids need the dough for the mums and dads to spend. You can't ask 'em to stop!'

'Geez let me finish. I heard my brother say that everyone's under suspicion, until the investigation team clears them. So if word got out that you and I were . . . well fucking, it would cause everyone problems. Billy, your only sixteen and what we do together is not legal.'

'Fuck 'em; I knows what I want. I want you Mr. Jeff and no shitty copper is gonna tell me different.'

'And there's my wife; how do ya think she's gonna take it if she finds out we've been fucking. Huh?'

'Dat's her problem. I ain't gonna lose any sleep over her. Maybe old Pangari can put a hex on 'er so's she just disappear. I'll talk to 'im.'

'Don't, ( _laughing_ ) don't you dare do that. Shit, Billy I want you to take this seriously. We've got to stop seeing each other.'

Suddenly, Billy understood that Jeff was serious. His eyes began to fill with tears and over flowed down both cheeks.

'What . . . what you'se saying. Ya don't want t'see no more? Why! Why! What's I done? Ya don't like me no more? Is it 'cause I'm a black fella? ( _Sob_ ) is it? I never said dis b'fore but I love ya Mr. Jeff. I love ya ( _sob_ ). An don't give me shit 'bout being too young; I knows how I feel.'

'Geez Billy . . .'

'Geez Billy nuth'n! What you think I can do; just say bye, bye ( _sob_ ) and walk away and never see you'se again? Can't do dat. Billy can't do dat. Billy's got the very bad hots for you Mr. Jeff and I ain't gonna walk away . . .I ain't just gonna disappear.

Oh my god!

'And 'nother thing. I knows ya don't love me. I knows dat and it don't worry me any; just enuff for Billy to see you and be wid you. Dat's all I wants. I would never do anything to hurt you Mr. Jeff; so please don't hurt me. Please ( _sob_ ) Mr. Jeff.

'Oh shit Billy, come here; we'll try and work something out. ( _Jeff put his arms around the boy and let him cry his emotions out)_ I could never intentionally hurt you Billy. I do have feelings for you; you've become very special to me. Understand? ( _A tear streaked brown face nodded yes and clasped his arms more tightly around Jeff)_ Just remember, no one interviews you without a parent or Legal rep with you. Promise me!'

'I promise: I promise! What's gonna happen t'me Mr. Jeff? I'se an outcast in me own family; dey don't want no queer abbo around. What can I do? Where can I go? I've only got you Mr. Jeff, only you.'

Oh shit, shit, shit! This is a mess! What am I doing?

♂♂

Ken leaned back in his seat and stared at Jeff; his usual pleasure at seeing him had been replaced by a growing anger. He let the silence grow until,

'So, you met with him this afternoon to tell him that you can't see him anymore and it ended up with Billy becoming more emotionally and physically attached to you. Have I got that right? . . . Oh, ( _angrily_ ) I forgot to add that you had sex with him.'

Jeff sat slumped back in his seat, a half empty beer in front of him and looking ( _and sounding_ ) miserable. He'd asked Kenny to meet at the 'Shearers', thinking that Kenny might sympathize with him; instead Kenny had become angry.

'Please Kenny, don't get angry with me. You had to be there to appreciate the position I was in. I didn't know he'd become emotionally involved; I didn't know he was frightened of his people and I didn't know he had become physically attracted to me. How could I hurt him? If you heard the way he idolizes you you'd understand my predicament.'

'I understand ( _raising his voice)_ nothing, except that you're weak Jeffry. Look at the mess your life has become. You're still married to Cynthia; you're still hiding your homosexuality; now Billy Yorta has become totally dependent on you; and any further relationship between you and I has to be put on hold. And ( _angrily_ ), you ask me to understand . . . no, to give my blessing! Well I won't! You're a fuckwit!'

Jeffry was shaken at Kenny's intense response. He felt like a child being chastised by a parent; tears weren't far away.

'Ok, Ok, ( _sigh_ ) you're right; I am a fuckwit. Everything I do seems to hurt the people I care for. I really don't want to hurt Cindy; what's she gonna do when she finds out she's been living with a queer all the years. I don't want to be responsible if she decides to hurt herself. I don't want to hurt Billy; so this's me Ken; I'm just weak when it comes to people.'

Kenny had had enough,

'Don't ( _loud and angrily_ ) you dare! Don't you dare wallow in self-pity? I'm not gonna listen to any more of your wining and feeling sorry for yourself. Grow the fuck up Jeff! Only you can get your life back on course. You have to decide ( _sounding exasperated_ ) what you want; what's important. I want to be your friend and lover Jeff, but not if you're gonna wallow in misery and shame. I'm sorry Jeffry, but ( _downing his beer_ ) best I go now!'

'No! No; ( _sounding frightened_ ) please don't go. Talk to me Ken. Please; I'm scared Ken . . . scared that I might lose you. I . . . please sit down and let me get a refill.'

Kenny sat down; he didn't want to be a drama queen anyway. Jeff scurried away to the bar. A moment's respite.

The trouble with Jeff is that he's too good; he just wants to please everybody and can't abide the thought of hurting anybody. I suppose this could be a positive character trait; he just wants to be nice to everybody. . . And that's virtually impossible. If only he could learn to balance the need to help others with a little constructive cruelty . . .'

'Hey, ( _putting down two large beers_ ) thanks for not bolting. I love you Kenny and I want to make sure that I'm worthy of your love. I know I'm damaged goods; I know I'm weak and I know I let people ride over me. Never once in my life have I ever fought back. But I'm not gonna be a burden on you; I know the way I've been living is wrong and I'm determined to do something about it. But I need you to be patient with me; am I asking too much?'

'Mate, ( _taking a swig_ ) the issue isn't our relationship or me being patient; it's how're you gonna extract yourself from this mess. I've just been thinking that you're too nice; that's the real problem, you're just too nice. That in itself may be a credit to you, but it leaves you very vulnerable to other people taking advantage of you. You seem to be comfortable with the role of victim . . . and that's unhealthy; Harmful.'

'Is that the way you see me Ken; that I see myself as a victim?

Yes! You seem to relish the role of victim; consider this . . . by not wishing to hurt other people you only end up hurting yourself. You've got to think more selfishly Jeff; if you don't you'll end up a slave to everyone else's moods.'

'Shit! I hadn't looked at my life that way. (Kenny _noticed that Jeff was sitting up adopting a more aggressive posture)_ Yeah, what you say is true. Fuck! I've been a patsy haven't I? How come you're so knowledgeable; how come?'

'Well, when I was younger I was a lot like you. I just wanted to please everybody; 'spose it was because of being gay; I became very passive in outlook. Then I quickly found out that when playing footy, if you allow anybody to sledge you, both verbally and physically, they gain the upper hand. I learned to give back as good as I got quickly and then relished the respect that others gave me. I also gained a lot of self-respect; and that's important. So I started to become more assertive in my dealings with other people.'

'Yeah ( _sounding wistful_ ) you were lucky that footy helped you. I've been cocooned all my life and, as a result, ended up feeling sorry for meself.'

'Jeff . . . Jeffry, why don't you just practice being yourself. It's the gentle; kind and passionate Jeff that I'm in love with . . . probably have been since we were kids. But practice saying 'no' to yourself and other people. Now ( _getting up and finishing his beer_ ) it's getting late and I must go. Are you coming?'

♂♂

'I still find it hard to believe ( _taking a sip of tea_ ) . . . Bro. Simon, a child rapist turned killer. I knew him Peter, we played chess together. He never said anything to arouse my suspicions; outwardly he was a decent bloke. What compels a man of devotional orders to commit such a crime? When I read the newspaper report I felt sick. Have you ever experienced anything like this before?'

'No, ( _sadly_ ) no I haven't. It just beggars belief. Poor Bro. Dominic; it must be devastating to learn that one of his brothers committed such a horrendous crime. ( _Silence; except for Peter O'Brien stirring his tea)_ I know him well . . . in fact very well. He's a gentle, inoffensive man who's just had his whole world come crashing around his ears.'

'Peter it's in your nature to be forgiving, but he's the Headmaster; he should have known something was amiss. If you're so sure he wouldn't allow this cancer in the college, it still doesn't absolve him from being ignorant! After all, it's the duty of every school principal to know what's going on with both teachers and children under his care.'

'That's true, but I suspect ( _getting angry_ ) he's been pushed aside by a very aggressive person in the form of Bro. Michael. He'd do anything to discredit Bro. Dominic so that he could become the Principal.'

'Politics, politics! Even our own church is not untouched by the ambitions of ambitious men. Do you still believe you did the right thing in sending that anonymous letter?'

'( _Thoughtfully_ ) I think I did. I mean if ever we were to face a tribunal or a court of law, we can say honestly that we didn't withhold evidence; and just to forestall you, it was a decision taken by both of us which means that you can claim you didn't withhold evidence.'

'But . . .'

'No buts; that's the way it's going to be. As the parish priest, I deem it so!'

'Ok . . . thanks. Do you think they'll be interrogating all the parishes in our area?

'Who ( _sighing_ ) knows?'

♂♂

'Hi . . . I am Detective Inspector Tom Fitzpatrick ( _showing his badge_ ) and this is Senior Constable Meadows ( _displaying her badge);_ could we see the Headmaster please?'

'People usually make an appointment to see Bro. Dominic; he's a very busy man. Now let's see . . . umm, would tomorrow at eleven thirty be convenient; he'll be free for an hour. Is that suitable?'

'No. No it isn't Ms. . . . . ( _Reading her name tag_ ) Flynn. We're here on police business and we'll see him . . . now!'

'You're very rude! I don't care what business you're on, you have to fit into the Headmaster's schedule. People – including the police – can't just go bursting into the Principals office without an appointment! Do I make myself clear?'

'Let me ( _ignoring her outburst_ ) put it this way; everyone at this college is a suspect in the death of Bro. Simon . . . and that includes you, Ms. Flynn. Now, ( _signaling Gloria to follow_ ) just announce me and then . . . shut up!'

The redoubtable Ms. Flynn folded like a stack of cards and ( _clearly shaken_ ) announced on her intercom that the police were here to talk. Almost inaudibly, she said,

'Please go through, he's waiting.'

The Headmasters office was dour; with emphasis on dark furniture and very few adornments. It exuded a peculiar musky smell of old books and old furniture. On one wall was the obligatory photo of the current Pope and on another the awful spectacle of a young man nailed to a piece of wood. Gloria could easily imagine the impact on a young kid being fronted for undisciplined behavior. Bro. Dominic fitted the profile of a catholic Headmaster; small of stature, skinny and bespeckled, with a face that couldn't remember the last time it had smiled.

Taking the intuitive, Fitzpatrick addressed Bro. Dominic.

'This is just a courtesy visit sir, to let you know that we'll be conducting interviews and asking questions about the death of Bro. Simon. But first, we need all staff members, including you and your secretary, to make written statements about your movements within the last 48 hours. Senior Constable Meadows will explain to everybody what is required; if you could assemble your people she will explain what we want. Completed statements should be handed to her within the next six hours.'

He waited for some response from the Headmaster, and getting none continued,

'Once all statements have been received, we will hold any further interviews we deem necessary here at the college, and it would be appreciated if you could make a room available to us. I hope this doesn't cause too much of an inconvenience!'

'Of course it does! The college is in enough turmoil without the heavy tread of police through our corridors. Why do you want to interrogate me? I don't know anything about Bro. Simon's death nor his evil and secretive practices; why me?'

'Because sometimes people unwittingly carry information without knowing it is important; in your case you may not know if information is significant. Only our trained police staff can decide what's critical and what isn't. Of course you may have a legal representative with you at the interview to look after your personal legal position.'

'I ( _exploding_ ) certainly will not! I have nothing to hide and will answer any reasonable question without recourse to legal advice. How dare you!'

'Well, that's up to you sir, I'm only apprising you of your rights; ( _handing Bro. Dominic a list)_ here is a list of persons we may want to interview . . . can you have your secretary inform each one of their need to co-operate with us during the enquiry.'

'Yes, yes of course. Just leave the list with Ms. Flynn and she'll make the appropriate arrangements.'

Silence descended; Fitzpatrick stared thoughtfully at the Headmaster whilst he, in turn, glared at the Inspector.

'Tell me what you know about Bro. Simon's background; his habits and any good or bad observations you've made about him. After all he was your subordinate so you must've formed some opinion of him as a person.'

'Are you interrogating me? Is this where I say that I want a solicitor?'

'( _laughing_ ) No sir; I just wanted to get some indication, off the record, of your opinion of the brother. Was he popular; did he have many friends; what were his interests; that sort of thing?'

'Well, ( _becoming thoughtful_ ) he was very good academically; he came out of the seminary with very good grades. However, he didn't make many friends; Oh, he had acquaintances but nobody you could say was a friend . . . he kept very much to himself. But he was a very strict catholic; I know he had a falling out with Mr. Jones about him being homosexual. They had a serious argument that all the college knew about . . .'

'And all the time ( _Gloria interjected_ ) he was planning to rape and murder a little girl! Is that what is called a strict catholic?'

'No; you're right to be angry. I have to say I'm devastated by what's happened; never in my whole career as a clergyman or as a teacher have I had to confront something like this. How could I have been so blind; how could I have been so trusting . . .'

_Or_ (thought Julia) _how could you be so stupid!_

'Don't be so hard on yourself sir. As a detective my experience has told me that often the people close to the perpetrator are the ones shocked when the truth is revealed. Try not to distress.'

'I'll try, I'll try. Anyway, I'll make the appropriate arrangements as you require. When do you intend to interview me?'

'Let's get all the statements in first; we'll probably talk to you towards the end when we have a more complete picture. But sir, try not to distress yourself; you're definitely not a suspect.'
Chapter Seven

The Investigation team was frustrated and stymied. All pertinent statements had been received, then perused and then double-checked, but nothing significant had been found. No lies detected; no new evidence and no new leads. All the college clergy had demonstrated a healthy (or unhealthy) respect for Bro. Michael; he, not Bro. Dominic, was the dominant force at the college. The forensic report simply confirmed the cause of death and didn't establish any new clues. No foreign DNA was found on or around the corpse of Bro. Simon. They were staring at a dead end.

In a fit of frustration, Fitzpatrick hurled the forensic report against the wall. Gloria flinched as the document sailed over her head on its journey of frustration.

'Shit, fuck, damn! I know we're missing something. This is all too tidy; too clean. From my past experience perps always make an error; a small error, something usually insignificant. Believe me Gloria, there is no such thing as a perfect crime; any thoughts?'

'No, not really. But Bro. Peter intrigues me; when I interviewed him he was extremely uncomfortable, scared even. My cop's intuition was that he's withholding something; something he wanted to tell but was afraid. I'd like to interview him again, if you agree.'

'Yeah . . . go for it. We have to start back at square one anyway and go over all we've got. Sometimes it works; sometimes not, but we have to try. I'm gonna send the forensic report back and ask them to start afresh. I think I'll light a candle in the chapel to see if the Catholic God can give us a heads up!'

'Shit ( _laughing_ ) Tom, you're really getting desperate!'

♂♂

'( _Unsteady voice_ ) Forgive me father for I have sinned. My last confession was two weeks ago.'

Fa. James was roused from his drowsy state when he heard the shaky voice of the penitent. It had been a boring afternoon session; in fact only one other had graced the confessional all afternoon. He was about to ask the conventional question when the repentant continued,

'Father I'm scared, very scared. I'm scared for my very life and most importantly, for my immortal soul. I've done some awfully wicked things father and I think I'm about to be exposed. I'm frightened . . . !'

'Please ( _interrupting_ ); please confess your sins then we can have a talk. If you make a full and complete confession, you'll be free of mortal sin; but you must confess everything. Understand?'

'Yes father I do. I . . . I'm . . . a teacher at a local Marist Brothers college and for some time I've been havi . . . Ummm . . . paying for sex with local aboriginal boys. I can't help myself father ( _stifled sob_ ). . . I've tried, but my lust always wins out; I have a terrible need for sexual relief. Usually ( _choke_ ) . . . I commit the sin of self-abuse to satisfy my cravings; then soon after, I feel the overwhelming need for male company. By male company I mean abbo boys. I don't do any harm and I know the kids parents are in need of the money I give the boys.'

Fa. James stayed silent whilst the penitent steeled himself to continue; then,

'I know who killed Bro. Simon and I'm scared I'm going to be next. Also, ( _stifled sob_ ) I have information on a ring of pedophiles who operate here in town and within the whole country. Some very important . . .'

'Are you ( _Fa James interrupted_ ) telling me that influential people here in town are not only involved but coordinating these disgraceful activities?'

'Yes, yes I am! That's why my life is forfeit. I feel it's only a matter of time before the fate that befell Bro. Simon is also visited on me. I really need help father; can you help me?'

'All I can do is make an Act of Contrition with you, but for your penance you must . . . and I repeat must, go to the police and ask for protection. I will only give you absolution on the understanding that you'll give yourself up and tell the police everything you know. Do I make myself clear?'

'Yes . . . yes father, and thank you; I know you're right. I'll tell the police everything.'

'Good; now repeat after me . . . _'Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all of my sins because . . ._

♂♂

Leaving the confessional Fa. James encountered Fa. O'Brien who was looking puzzled.

'I believe that was Bro Peter from the Marist College who you just heard in confession. I hope it wasn't anything too serious; he's my bridge partner, and a bloody good one at that.'

'You know him?'

'Well yes; I've known Peter for some time. Is something wrong?'

'Oh ( _sounding upset_ ) shit! Yes, there is something wrong; very wrong. Come, I'll make you a cup of tea. Stuff the sanctity of confession; it wasn't designed for the mess I'm in. And I'm sorry for the crude language Peter, but I've really had a gutful!'

They adjourned to the kitchen and while James was making tea he told Fa. O'Brien the full story.

There followed silence. Fa. James stood by the sink holding a steaming cup of tea, whilst Fa. O'Brien ( _shaking his head sadly_ ) slowly stirred his teacup.

'James, this must go no further; we've . . . I've already sullied the sanctity of the confessional. I guess I rationalized that because we were dealing with a confessed killer. This is different; the only crime committed was having sex with under aged boys. I don't think . . .'

'No, ( _speaking harshly_ ) Peter that's not true! We're consciously withholding evidence from the authorities. Didn't our Lord say 'Give unto Caesar the things that are Caesars' and give to our father the things that belong to him'; I may not be doctrinally correct, but the intent is clear ( _Fa.O'brien went to interrupt_ ) . . . no, please Peter let me finish. You also have to consider your own situation. As Bro Peter is an acquaintance of yours, you could be charged with withholding evidence to protect him. You're in a tight spot, Peter.'

With a sigh Fa.O'brien acknowledged,

'Ok, Ok, you're absolutely right; bugger what a mess. I'm finding it hard to believe that Bro Peter is a homosexual. He's never given any indication to me or, for that matter, anyone else; what a mess. Well hotshot, what do you propose?'

'Well, I did give him absolution on the premise that he'd go straight to the police and confess his involvement. I'm going to wait to see if he does what he promised; I'll give him forty-eight hours. If we've heard nothing, I'll go straight to the man and give him a choice; either he goes to the police or I will.'

Peter O'Brien sat slumped back in his chair and seemed entirely deflated.

'You know James, sometimes I find the strictures of our faith too demanding. I mean what would be wrong if Bro Peter were to have a partner . . . a male partner if he so desires. What harm would it do? And the same applies to heterosexual clergy; why can't we indulge our sexuality with a partner?'

'Peter, you astound me . . . you really do. It's my generation of clerics who are agitating for reform – not yours. Do I detect a story behind your statement?'

'Ah yes, ( _looking and sounding wistful_ ) there was a lass once who I really had a yen for; I was only twenty-two at the time. But I experienced real passion; the sight of her . . . her name was Helen . . . the sight of her would drive me into tender, loving carnal, caring, lustful ( _Fa. James at this point was laughing_ _at the prospect_ ) and scandalous fantasies. ( _A pause as he remembered tender memories_ ) I determined to marry Helen but unfortunately her father . . . and in fact her whole family . . . were Baptists; Baptists who hated the Roman Catholic Church and therefore me. Of course my own church would not have let me marry her unless she became a Catholic and brought up our kids as Catholics. As the saying goes 'we were up shit creek without a paddle.'

'Peter ( _intrigued_ ) why haven't you said anything about this before. It's proud you should be to have real human feelings. And I'm thinking that you were a bit stodgy.'

'Well, ( _laughing_ ) I don't like to dig up the past; sometimes the memories are a bit raw. What about yourself . . .'

'No ( _also laughing_ ) you don't get out of it that easily; what happened to . . . Helen? Did she marry a boring old Baptist?'

'Yes, ( _sighing_ ) yes she did. And she had three fine kids . . . and an unhappy marriage. He turned out to be someone who definitely did not practice what they preached. He played around; used prostitutes and contacted venereal disease. The marriage was dissolved after fifteen years; eventually I think he went insane. But what was really distressing, the family blamed Helen for not seeing to her wifely duties which made . . . what was his name? Ummm . . . yes . . . Bill; made Bill look for sex elseware. People never cease to astound me.'

'Arrrrh, isn't that the truth; did ( _sounding embarrassed_ ) . . . did you get to 'know' her in the biblical sense?'

'C'mon James, ( _laughing at him_ ) there's no need to be coy; you're asking if we screwed, and yes we did . . . it was wonderful. I can still remember the experience.'

'So then ( _curious_ ) why did you become a priest? What appealed to you about the priesthood?'

'I suppose in a way I was a coward. After having my feelings damaged by Helen, I just vowed never to repeat the same circumstances. Taking a vow of celibacy appealed to me; and at the same time I was a strict catholic so it all fell into place. It seems so puerile now. I've often asked myself what would I prefer most, to be a priest or to be a family man. Never came up with a good answer.'

'Well, funnily enough, I was about to ask that very same question. So you don't know what you'd prefer?'

'Well, the grand thing about being a priest is that you don't expose yourself emotionally, not to personal emotions anyway. Just from the confessional I hear terrible stories of married life; infidelity, physical abuse, financial woes and substance abuse. How some marriages survive in this age is a wonder. Now ( _enquiring_ ) young man . . . now that I've exposed myself to your forensic emotional dissection, how about you. How came you to the priesthood?'

'Arrrrh, there'll be a grand tale for you. My family were poor farmers in Co.Wexford. Our family was big; four brothers and three girls. I was never interested in girls as such, and I vowed not to take the same path as me Dar; I saw too much suffering. Oh Peter, the way my folks had to struggle just to feed, clothe and educate us, still brings tears t' me eyes. Then ( _sounding_ _sad_ ) me Mar died, and it became too much for m' Dar. He really tried to look after all of us but it was too much, so I went into the seminary.'

'Sooo . . . what brought you here to this fair town? We're a long way from Co.Wexford.'

'I heard there was a shortage of priests in country areas, so I left Ireland and settled here; and before you ask do I miss the family, yes . . . yes I do. I write to me Dar often and on special occasions; Christmas, Birthdays and so, I'll call them up. I try and send money regularly because I know how difficult it is with a large family. Sometimes I get cranky with our faith when we urge couples to have large families but don't do anything to ease the financial burden.'

'So what do you value most in being a priest?'

'I guess being more of a social worker than a mender of souls. I love people, especially kids; at times they can be pure delight. They are so innocent and trusting; that's why I abhor people who abuse kids physically and sexually. Of all crimes the abuse of children ranks just below murder in revulsion; and when the perpetrators are the kids own parents well . . . well, it's disgusting.'

'Yes ( _sighing_ ) yes I agree. But we can't blame modern living for these detesting excesses; child abuse has been around for a long, long time. What about the use of child labor during the industrial revolution in England in the eighteenth century.'

'Please ( _laughing_ ) don't get me to talk about the excesses of Mother England; I might break into some rather poignant IRA songs. But we've got sidetracked; what are we gonna do about Bro Peter?'

( _Sighing_ ) I don't know James, I really don't know; for the time being I s'pose just wait and see what happens.'

Wonder what he meant by never being interested in girls? James doesn't appear to be gay. When the time comes I'll broach the subject with him.

♂♂

Kenny had resumed coaching Billy at footy; despite of all the troubles at the college and with Jeff, it seemed like a sensible thing to do. He was sure that Billy was still affected by his talk with Jeff, because at school he was acting distracted and often surly. As the practice session ended they were walking towards the showers when Kenny confronted Billy,

'Hey man, you haven't been your old sunny self of late; I miss your beautiful smiles. Mind if we have a talk?'

'Nah . . .'spect it's about Mr. Jeff hey? I'se all mixed up Mr. Kenny . . . all mixed up. Don't know if you'se can help me.'

They had reached the shower block, so Kenny said,

'Hey, let's sit here and yarn b'fore we shower.'

Kenny led Billy to a bench and patted the space beside him and when Billy sat, he half turned towards the boy

'Billy, _(here Kenny looked directly at Billy who then cast his eyes downward_ ) I'm really thrilled the way you've improved at training; you must be feeling more confident now than when we first started. But footy training involves both physical and mental conditioning. When you go out to play a big match, you have to clear your mind of all negative thoughts so you can concentrate on the game ahead; and I don't mean the whole match, I mean quarter by quarter.'

'Yeah, ( _looking at Kenny directly_ ) I knows that Mr. Kenny . . . I knows that; I guess Mr. Jeff told you about our last meet, right? ( _Kenny nodded yes)._ Well, what you do when you'se really likes someone and they'se doesn't like you back?'

Kenny paused _; a bloody good question!_

'This point is Billy that Jeff does like you; I know he does. But he can't get into any relationship until he resolves his own problems; his marriage for one. Look, I don't want to get involved in your emotional life, but I think you've got to look elseware for someone to identify with; someone your own age.'

'Don't ( _raising his voice_ ), don't bullshit me Mr. Ken; don't bullshit me. I'se expected more from you. What you'se saying is me find another blackfella eh! Well, there ain't any other gay blackfellas that's I knows about. We'se banned from blackfella tribes; don't know any others same as me. So what I gotta do, eh?'

'But that's ( _talking earnestly_ ) where your wrong. I know of one blackfella who plays for Essendon whose gay; and there's probably a lot more. Just bide your time until your eighteen then you can go where you want. Trust me Billy, I'll look after you.'

'Bide's me time ( _angrily_ ); bide me time! So what do I do when the urge comes a calling; just beat off by meself. Seems I'm randy all the time; can't get enough. Don't want to have no sex like dem hippos; sex is good, I likes it! So why should I not do it when I wants it. Shit Mr. Ken I'm real randy now; can't help meself. Can I suck you off, please Mr. Ken, please!

'Geez Billy, no. . . .'

'Look ( _Billy undid his shorts and flashed a very hard brown penis at Kenny_ ), look Mr. Ken . . . he's beautiful isn't he?'

Billy, ( _his voice becoming hoarse_ ) Stop it; I'm your teacher . . .'

'Bugger that boss, I think you'se randy as me; no harm is there? Please let me touch you boss; Billy's good ( _he let his hand fall on Kenny's cock which was now straining against his footy shorts)'_

'( _Gasp_ ) Billy. . . Billy ( _hoarse_ ), oh that feels good. But please stop . . . we shouldn't . . .'

'No can do Boss; sorry no can do. Just lie back and let Billy do what's best for you; I knows what you want. I'll just take your footy shorts off and, wow . . . Mr. Kenny, that's some spear you'se, got; an look he's all wet. I'm gonna lick it all up. Can I do that boss? Can I do that?'

'Oh god . . . stop, please stop . . . this is wrong . . . wrong! Oh . . . shit!'

Every human being has a resistance threshold, and Kenny had reached his. The euphoric feel of Billy's mouth around his penis had shredded any morsel of self-control; his need for sex simply overrode any restraint he had, and he gave himself up to the boy's insistent demands.

'Ok, now take Billy's spear and suckle it. ( _Kenny dropped to his knees and virtually gobbled Billy's erectness)_ Oh man . . . dat good . . . please, don't stop. . . Oh, you'se good Mr. Ken . . . the best . . . can't hold back any longer . . . I'se' ( _loud ecstatic moan followed by shuddering)_ and Billy released.

After his shuddering subsided the boy immediately took Ken's painfully hard penis in his mouth. Using only his tongue and lips he performed oral masturbation until Kenny cried out with ecstasy, and flooded into Billy's waiting lips.

They sat back side by side against the wall, footy shorts down around their ankles, both satiated and drained. There was a silence until Billy turned towards Kenny and kissed him on the cheek.

'I'se been wanting to do dat from the first time I saw you'se. Makes me feel real good Mr. Ken, real good; fact is I could do it again now, if you wants me to. I can also lick yer bum special like; can I?

'Billy . . . please; just wait a moment please until I come back to earth. ( _A moment's silence)_ I shouldn't have done that with you Billy . . . it's all wrong; I'm your teacher and could get into a lot of trouble if someone found out that I had sex with you . . . real trouble. I'm supposed to protect you from predators, and now I find that I'm a predator. Shit! Shit! Shit!'

'( _Angrily_ ) what the fuck are you talking 'bout? It pisses me off t'hear you calls yerself 'predator. I knows the difference 'tween someone forcing themselves on an udder who don't want to sex and two fellas who want to do it. Bullshit Mr. Ken, bullshit; dat Jesus fella's got ya balls all twisted and bitter 'bout sex. If'n one person becomes a victim den dat's wrong; If'n both fellas have a good time den dat's great! Ok?'

Kenny studied Billy and could see he was genuine . . . and absolutely right.

_Sure it's a thin line but he's right; as long as an older man doesn't force himself on a younger man and the younger man consents then no real harm has happened. Bullshit! I'm rationalizing_.

'Billy, ( _softly_ ) I hear what you're saying but our laws are quite explicit. I shouldn't and can't have sex with you; full stop, end of story. Hey, ( _standing up and moving towards the shower_ ) we'd better shower now.'

'Well, ( _standing up and following Kenny_ ) you say you'se can't have sex wid me; but ya didn't say dat I'se can't have sex wid you. . . ( _Laughing_ ) Hey?'

♂♂

Kenny was in turmoil; filled with remorse and self-recrimination. After Billy left, in what could only be described as a jubilant and happy mood, Kenny sat outside the shower block on one of the spectator seats. Even showering was an ordeal; Billy's cock just refused to obey any attempt to deflate and Kenny had to close his eyes and turn away. As the boy said . . . he was ready to go again!

What a hypocrite I am; chastising Jeff for having sex with the boy and then I go and do the same. But Billy is so insistent and his sexual needs are more than most young kids' possess. Oh shit! . . . Young kids, Geeze I said it myself; I've had sex with an underage boy. Shit! Shit! Fuck! Well, Kenneth my boy, it's not about what's happened but what's gonna happen now. If it gets out, I'm finished as a teacher; and perhaps jailed for having sex with a minor. Fuck! I guess the real question is what's Billy gonna do? Will he demand more; will he blackmail me . . . and Jeff. Yeah, Jeff's vulnerable too; but maybe not as much as me.

_And Billy is at a tender and difficult emotional age; an age when emotional adversity can be traumatic. Particularly rejection; they can't handle rejection at all. (_ Sigh _) But the bottom line is that Billy has power over both Jeff and I, and the only question is how will he use that power? Fuck! Shit! I should've been stronger and resisted . . . hey don't go there. It's happened and like any crisis it has to be managed._

_Should I tell Jeff? Should I admit to being weak and giving into a young abbo boy (_ sigh _) well, if I tell Jeff at least it levels the playing field. Yes, I must . . . no, no, and NO! Not just yet! I'll just wait to see what happens'_

'Well, ( _sneering_ ) if it isn't our great footy star sitting all alone and pondering . . . what? ( _Laughing_ ) How to fondle little boys in the shower?'

Everybody also has a threshold of tolerance to insults and Kenny had reached his. He stood up, took three steps towards Bro. Michael, and slammed his fist into his sneering face. The force sent the Brother onto his back howling with pain from a broken nose and cut lips.

Nursing his bloody face, Bro. Michael managed,

'You bastard . . . I'll get you for this!'

'You are a bloody disgrace to your vocation; a bloody disgrace to this school; and a bloody disgrace as a human being. If you want to report me . . . go ahead; believe me it'll be worth it!

But the fight with Bro. Mike had steeled Kenny's resolve. He reached into his gym bag and pulled out his mobile.

♂♂

It was an unlikely scenario for two close friends; one rigid with anger, whilst the other was slumped and defensive. Even in the warm atmosphere of the Shearers Arms, there was a zone of glacial silence in the booth occupied by the two men.

'You ( _accusing and hostile_ ) had sex with Billy Yorta? You're telling me that you had sex with the boy? Please tell me I didn't hear you right!'

'Ummm ( _sounding guilty_ ) . . . yes; yes I did. It . . . it just happened; it just happened.'

'Oh ( _parroting and sneering_ ) . . . It just happened did it; just like that ( _a snap of fingers)_. There was, of course, nothing you could do about it; no wait there, I suppose you could've said No! I mean you're not only his teacher but he is under age . . . isn't he?'

'Jesus Jeff! ( _Harsh_ ); don't be so bloody pedantic. You sound like a girl having histrionics. I didn't set out to have sex with him . . . it just happened!'

'It just happened! ( _Mimicking_ ) It just happened; I'm ( _raising his voice_ ) sick and tired of hearing you say that . . . It just happened. I know it just happened because you told me . . . it just happened. Fuck you Ken!'

'And ( _raising his voice_ ) fuck you too! I mean you're no angel are you? Who are you to sledge me when the same thing happened to you? You're a fucking hypocrite!'

'Ummm . . . excuse me girls, but I don't want any rowdiness or swearing in my bar. If you girls want to fight . . . take it outside, please!'

So involved with the intensity of their quarrel, neither one had noticed Ivan the barman approach. Nor did they realize other patrons were looking at them.

'Ok Geeze, sorry Ivan, we apologize ( _Jeff nodded_ ); we'll be quiet. Sorry!'

'Ok; what's with you two? You're usually pretty laid back; you've never had an argument before that I know of!'

'Yeah', said Kenny. 'We're just sorting each other out over a minor matter. I'll come and get a refill if that's Ok with you?'

'Sure, I'll get you two of the same?'

By the time Kenny returned with their refills, a breathing space had been established and both had calmed down.

'I don't know why I feel hurt and wounded Ken; after all it's really none of my business. I'm sorry if I sledged you. I guess I'm pretty fragile these days. Nothing in my life is going well; but that's no reason to dump on you. I'm sorry.'

'Yeah, I must admit that I felt a little miffed when you told me about Billy and you. For a sixteen-year-old kid he can be very persistent. I guess I was feeling very randy . . . that's the only sex I've had with a partner since I broke up with Rickie. Well . . .'

'I know ( _Jeff interjected_ ) . . . it just happened.' Both men laughed.

What I wanted to talk to you about ( _giving Jeff's wrist a squeeze_ ) is how exposed we both are if Billy feels betrayed. We both are guilty of having sex with an underage kid; but in my situation, I'd lose my job and be probably jailed.'

'Yeah well, It's the same for me . . . I'd probably be facing jail time and Cynthia would divorce me in a blink; not that that's a problem, but she'd get her hands on the only assets I have . . .( _sigh_ )what little I have. What should we do Ken?'

'Not sure. It'd help if we know what Billy is thinking; it depends on how he views his future relationship with either of us. He told you he loved you didn't he? ( _Jeff nodded_ ) But is that his true feeling? After all he's just going through puberty which means he's very fragile and unpredictable.'

Kenny paused as each man considered the situation they were in.

'You know Ken ( _jokingly_ ) it would help if we could find someone else to satisfy his urges. I'm . . .'

'Hold on . . . that just might be it. ( _Jeff looked curiously at Kenny_ ) What you said, that might be a way out.'

'What are you talking about?'

'If I could take Billy over to Melbourne and introduce him to the gay scene and particularly the indigenous gay scene, he may find someone to satisfy his cravings and forget about you and me. What think you?'

'Would that be possible?'

'Very! ( _Excited_ ) There are many young black gays in Melbourne; they tend to congregate in a bar called 'Alfies'. I could introduce him around; be his mentor, so to speak. If he's as randy as we've both experienced he will jump in without thinking.'

'Geeze, ( _doubtful_ ) I don't know Ken; it seems like we're taking advantage of a young black kid; it don't feel right. No . . . even if it worked, I wouldn't feel decent; Nah . . . there must be something else we can do.'

A pause; Kenny took a sip from his beer and looked respectfully at Jeff. Then he leant over squeezed Jeff's shoulder.

'You're right, it wouldn't work; just an idea. Let's not go there . . . eh! But that still leaves the problem unsolved.'

'That's assuming we have a problem; maybe Billy will keep his mouth shut.'

'Maybe, ( _taking a sip of beer_ ) maybe he will. I don't want to talk to him and elevate the issue in his mind. But one thing's for sure; no more dalliances with him. If he comes on to me again I'm just gonna tell him that I'd be breaking the law to have sex with him; surely he wouldn't want to have me arrested and banned from teaching. I think Jeff, you should do the same; I mean run the risk of being arrested.'

'If he comes on to me, I will. In fact I'll try and avoid him as much as possible; I guess that's easier for me than for you.'

There was a pause as Jeff seemed to be considering something. Then,

'I'm sorry for sounding like a little bitch . . .' Just then Ken's mobile rang and he interrupted Jeff to take the call.

'Hey, this is Ken . . . who? . . . Hey Rickie! What's' up man? . . . Woo . . . woo . . . take it slowly; I can't . . . ( _silence_ ) . . . Jesus, shit; are you sure?'

Jeff watched Ken's face going from curiosity into concern and then silence as he listened to what obviously was a disturbing phone call. He said nothing and took a swig of beer while he waited for Kenny to conclude.

'Yeah . . . no I'm Ok; yeah had me tests done coupla weeks ago. . . . Don't cry Rickie, don't cry. Look I'll slip down to Melbourne tomorrow and see you. Where are you staying? Ok; see you then. Bye!'

Ken rang off without a further word and answered Jeff's unspoken question.

'As you can guess, that was Rickie; he's tested positive for HIV. ( _Silence_ ) I'll go to Melbourne tomorrow to see if I can prop him up; he's not very strong. He's a great guy and a good footballer but he doesn't handle emotional issues well. ( _Long pause while Jeff waited for Kenny to continue)._ This'll ( _musing_ ) put an end to his footy career; probably change his whole life. Shit, what a bummer!'

'But ( _getting panicky)_ it's not your problem Ken; what're you gonna do down there with him? Hasn't he got other friends and family to console him; why you?'

Why is Jeffry getting so uptight? I mean it's the least I can do to help someone I've been really close to deal with a big issue like AIDS? I guess Jeff doesn't know Rickie like I do.

'Well ( _speaking carefully_ ), we were very close at one time and were lucky enough to emerge from our relationship as good friends. I don't know whether you've had anything to do with AIDS Jeff, ( _he shook his head_ ) but it's an extremely cruel disease. Young men, in their prime, are reduced to pitiful shells and die a very painful death; I count myself very lucky. It really is a lottery.'

'That's what I love about you Kenny; you're all too ready to help the other guy. I guess it's a tick in the good guy column. But at some stage you've gotta start looking after yourself. If you go down there, promise me . . . promise me you won't stay too long. You've got your future to think about now Ken, and your future's here, not in Melbourne.'

'Hey buddy, I can't make promises without knowing how bad Rickie is. I mean, if it were you who needed my help how would you feel if I said 'I know you're sick but I can only stay for two days.' What would you think? How would you react?'

'Don't know, so I can't answer you. But your priority is like me, to be on top of any problems Billy may cause. ( _Shit, I hope I don't sound selfish_ ) Can I call you if I need to?'

'Yeah, of course; anytime you want. Be glad to hear your voice. Now I'd better get home to get ready for tomorrow. I think I'll get going about five a.m. so I'll have a clear run. Coming?'

'No . . . you go. I feel like a few more. Anyways, I don't feel like going home to Lady Cynthia. See ya!'

When Kenny left, Jeff got a refill and settled down with his thoughts . . . and fears. He settled back into his chair and moodily dragged his beer glass around in circles.

_I'm shit scared that Kenny may not come back. Why am I scared; because, I love him. When he said that Rickie was on the line, that big pang of jealousy almost shriveled my balls; I'm afraid of losing him. When he comes back I'm gonna tell him how I feel. Sure he's told me how special I am t but it's not enough for me . . . not nearly enough. I'm sick of masturbating with his image in me head. Now I want the real thing. God how I want him; I want to be so close I can smell his body odor; feel his breathing and hear his heartbeat. I've never felt this way before. Never! But, Oh shit; what if he doesn't feel the same about me? I think I'd kill meself_.

♂♂

It wasn't the need for coffee that found Tom Fitzpatrick and Gloria in the coffee shop; more the need to get away from the depressing environment at the station. They had reached a dead end in the investigation . . . a complete brick wall. The interviews at the college had yielded only minor matters of interest, but no strong leads; nada – Nothing.

Fitzpatrick was slumped in his chair looking morosely at the menu and without any enthusiasm. Gloria was half turned in her seat peering out the front window as if waiting for inspiration.

'I've ( _sigh_ ) never had a case . . . ( _he_ _was interrupted by Robyn Ballard to take their orders) . ._ . a case like this before. We've had two murders; one of which has been solved, but all leads to the other murder have come to a dead end. For Christ's sake Gloria tell me something that I can pursue.'

'Nah . . . I'm all out of inspiration. I did re-interview Brother Peter but nothing positive came out, except he seemed very uncomfortable during the going-over. . . I think he knew something but was too scared to tell me.'

'Yeah . . . sometimes it's good to backtrack; it's amazing the little things that tend to be overlooked in an initial interview. I have ( _he fell silent as Robyn Ballard delivered their coffees)_ I have every confidence in you Gloria; have you ever considered applying for detective?'

'Ummm . . . no; never really thought about it. Do you think I'd make a good detective?'

'Yeah, ( _stirring his steaming coffee)_ yeah, I do. You've got a very inquisitive and inquiring mind. Naturally you'd need to be trained but if you put in an application I'll support you. No problem.'

'Ummm, sorry for interrupting _(Robyn Ballard had come back to their table)_ but is there any news about the murder of Brother Simon. I know you can't say too much but people are getting scared thinking that there's a vicious killer running loose in town.'

Before answering, Gloria introduced Tom Fitzpatrick to Robyn and explained who she was amongst the townspeople. Fitzpatrick responded,

'Yeah . . . we can't really say too much 'cause it's a matter of following every lead we get; that's why it's important for you townies to give us as much info as you can. I mean even the smallest item could become very meaningful to the investigation. I'd like you to tell people that we rely on them heavily when we're trying to track down a culprit.'

'Well thank you inspector, I'll pass . . .' Just then one of the younger cops came bursting into the shop, looking very agitated he said to Tom,

'Boss, please call the forensic people as soon as possible; they say that some new and important evidence has emerged!'
Chapter Eight

Not wanting to make a phone call, Fitzpatrick and Gloria headed to the forensic lab which had been established at the local hospital. They remained silent avoiding any speculation on the supposedly good news.

They were ushered into the lab where the chief forensic scientist met them excitedly, and asked them to be seated.

'Well, ( _demanded Tom Fitzpatrick_ ) for Christ's sake don't keep us in suspense; what have you got?

'As I reported Tom, before we'd been all over the corpse . . .'

'Jesus . . . get on with it! I don't want a history lesson; what have you found?'

'We didn't ( _sounding apologetic_ ) inspect the appendage that had been placed in the corpse mouth. After all it's not usual procedure . . .'

'For shit's sake ( _angrily_ ) what have you found?'

'Spit!'

'Spit . . . you found spit. What's so . . . ( _it dawned on Fitzpatrick_ ) DNA! You've got the bastard's DNA. ( _Jumping up from his chair_ ) Are you telling me we have the perp's DNA?'

'Yes inspector, that's what I'm telling you; we were able to extract the foreign DNA from the sample of spit we obtained. And it's a good sample; whoever did this was extremely careless, not to mention cruel.'

'Wow! ( _this from Gloria_ ) all we have to do now is match the DNA to someone; I guess Boss that you'll want DNA samples of all the college students and faculty soonest?'

'You betcha . . . round them up senior constable; this is the breakthrough we've been waiting for. I'll leave that in your hands Gloria; soonest.'

♂♂

In the midst of all the excitement, Brother Peter appeared at the police station and asked to see the Detective in charge of the investigation. He looked a wreck. The dark circles under his eyes bespoke of many sleepless nights and the tremor of his hands indicated extreme nervous tension. With Gloria over at the Marist College, Fitzpatrick took the Brother into the interrogation room, accompanied by another cop as witness.

'Well brother, what've you to tell me; you indicated at the desk that you've something to confess.' The professional in Fitzpatrick scrutinized the man before him.

Hmmm . . . He's definitely in distress; has not slept well for a while, and shaking with tension. I'd say the man is struggling with heavy guilt and he's about to emotionally collapse. Something tells me I'll have to handle this priest with extreme care.

'Brother . . .?'

'I . . . my name is . . . Bro. . . . Brother Peter. Yes, Brother Peter; I, t . . . t.t teach at the Marist College here.'

'Can I just call you Peter? ( _Affirmative nod_ ) Peter; just relax and in your own time tell me what's troubling you. Oh . . . I'm being inhospitable; would you like something to drink . . . tea or coffee?'

'Ummm, coffee please; no milk, just two sugars. ( _The young cop disappeared to fetch coffee)'_

Fitzpatrick turned on a recording devise and went through the process of stating the time, the date and identifying all present.

'What do you teach at the college Peter?

'I teach History. I've loved history from when I was a young lad; I used to borrow all the books on ancient history that I could, and soon I became very knowledgeable on both the Roman and Greek . . .'

'Thanks ( _interrupting_ ) Peter, but can we stick to the reason you're here.'

Bro. Peter ( _silently_ ) took a deep breath to try and compose himself. He knew he was in a bargaining position, but didn't know how far he could push himself with this cop. Looking at Fitzpatrick, he saw a man in his forties with a craggy face and eyes that seemed never to smile. His demeanor told of a man who had seen too much of violence and tragedy. But his deportment was relaxed and nonthreatening.

'( _Slowly and carefully_ ) before I perjure myself I want an affirmation that the information I give you won't bring charges against me. What I'm about to tell you will help your investigation, but I want some assurances that I'll be treated leniently, and my contribution recognized; I want to be treated as a witness for the crown. Do I have your assurance?'

'No! Of course not! I can't give you such assurances, but ( _sounding reasonable_ ) I can recommend to the Public Prosecutor that, if your information is material and assists us in solving this case, the prosecutor's office will treat you leniently.'

'No, ( _assertively_ ) that's hardly an inducement; remember I came here of my own free will. I need some encouragement to tell you my story.'

'I'm sorry Peter, that's all I can do for you at this time; I mean I haven't yet heard what you have to say so I can't judge the veracity of what you're about to tell us. But, you have my assurance that I'll regard your information, such as it, very favorably.'

Just then the coffee arrived and this gave Brother Peter pause to consider what Fitzpatrick had said.

_I can't back out now. He seems a reasonable man for a copper and I can't continue like this. I'm not built to sustain any emotional trauma. (_ Sigh _) I've crossed my own Rubicon; the dye is cast._

'Now just take your time, Peter; tell us what's troubling you.'

'( _Slowly and haltingly_ ) although I've taken the vow of celibacy, I can't control my yearning to have sex with a partner . . . a male partner. ( _Pause_ ) I believe I am homosexual and you know what the Catholic Church thinks of homosexuals and homosexual acts; ( _becoming agitated_ )but I believe they're wrong, very wrong . . .'

'Peter, try and keep to the facts; believe me, when you've got all your troubles out in the open, you'll feel relieved. _(Fitzpatrick looked to the young cop and was rewarded with a nod)_ So try and keep to the facts. As far as being homosexual is concerned, my personal opinion is that being gay is far more natural than being celebrate.'

'Ummm . . . sorry; ( _gaining confidence_ ) well I heard that some of the Abbo kids were performing sexual favors for money and . . . I . . . arranged to meet the boys after school in a secluded place. Sometimes it was the same boy, but sometimes other boys offered themselves. It was the money. The money I gave them apparently was given to their parents; they knew what we were doing. It was a win, win situation; I got sexual relief and the parents received extra money to spend on . . . well, I don't really know. Just money to spend I guess.'

'So you're admitting you had sex with under-age boys; boys who were your students. Is that what you're saying?'

'Ye. Ummm . . . Yes.'

'( _sternly_ ) that would constitute two criminal charges; one, having sex with a minor; and two, failing your duty of care as a teacher. Both can be serious offences.'

'But ( _passionately_ ) they weren't victims. I didn't force myself on any boy. They gladly performed sex favors because it was working well for everyone. It would have continued ( _raising his voice_ ) had not stupid Brother Simon killed that poor little girl. He was a disaster waiting to happen and I can never forgive him for killing the child. We all operated on the principle that no harm would come to the children. It was kept very, very quiet. I've also heard that other men, not clergy, are using the boy's favors. There is a very active ring of . . . well, pedophiles; not only here but throughout the state.'

'And _(harshly_ ) you can supply details of who these men are?'

'No! . . . No, I can't . . . but I know who can?'

'Well who? . . . Come on Peter you've done very well so far; tell us who this person is.'

'The man who co-ordinates all activities; who arranges communications, and whose been blackmailing myself and other brothers for years . . . Brother Michael!'

Silence . . .

'( _Disbelief)_ Brother Michael! The deputy principal of the college?'

'Yes! He's also the sport master and is very dangerous; I believe he's capable of anything. He's a very hard man; he behaves like a mafia Don.'

'Do you think he killed Brother Simon?'

'At first I did, and that's when I started to get very frightened. I know Brother Simon was wavering and considering giving himself up. Before he was killed he was a wreck; he couldn't have lasted much longer before he had a physical and mental breakdown. He was a threat to all of us.'

'You say, at first you believed Brother Michael to be the killer . . . I take it now you're not so sure?'

'No; I mean yes . . . because I know he communicates with someone else. I've heard snippets of conversation when he didn't know I was listening. He talks to, or reports to someone else.'

'Let's back up a bit and talk about Brother Simon's murder. First, did you have any knowledge that he'd killed Ruth Jalla?'

'( _Emphatically_ ) No . . . No, I did not! But after the girl was found I had my suspicions. Bro. Simon was an emotional mess; he didn't have any self-control.'

'Aha ( _thoughtfully_ ) and when Bro. Simon's body was found, what was your reaction?'

'Fear! ( _Choke_ ) Fear so real I could smell and taste it! I knew I'd be next.'

'Why? Why did you think you were in danger?'

( _Angrily_ ) Because Bro. Michael told me! He has this hold over everybody. Anybody who didn't comply with his demands was threatened with exposure; not to the police . . . you guys, but to the diocese.'

Why . . .?'

( _Laughing_ ) Because the culprit would have been chastised by the Bishop and moved to another location; it would never go as far as being reported to you people. But your days as a clergyman would be over. This has happened in so many cases; too many cases.

( _Gathering confidence_ ) You lay people have got no idea how much the church has covered up sex crimes against children! And I mean real crimes, when great harm has been done to children in the church's care; in boarding schools; with altar boys; molesting choirboys and girls. And it goes back a very long time!

( _Pausing to gather his thoughts_ ) What's really incredible is that all of the offenses have been fully documented and handled by reputable solicitors. The Church has been paying shut up money to victims and then legally compelling them to silence. The whole litany of injustices has been hushed up.

This is incredible; if what he says is true we will have to shift our attention to the entire Catholic Church. Shit! This is a Bombshell! Good ol' Bro. Peter does not comprehend the ammunition he's just divulged. Fuck me! This will make my career. But I'll have to be careful not to let the Brother realize how important a witness he is. But it's too much for me to handle by myself; I'll have to buck it upstairs. Now . . . what to do about the Brother?

_(Speaking sternly)_ 'That's an incredible accusation Peter; do you have proof? I mean you just can't go making wild accusations without being able to back them up. What can you tell me?'

'It ( _Sensing he held the upper hand_ ) it depends on what you can offer me. If the deal is right, I'll give you names of the perpetrators and some of the victims. But I want a deal.'

'Oh do you! ( _Speaking slowly and thoughtfully_ ) Well, here's all I can do for you now. I won't charge you at this time, but I'll immediately take the matter up with the Public prosecutor and see what we can offer you; but I must ask that you surrender your passport. That's all for now, Ok?'

He closed the recording device down.

♂♂

After receiving Fitzpatrick's call, Gloria hurried back to the police station. With a fresh coffee in her hand Gloria listened to the recorded interview with Br. Peter.

"That's incredible,' she managed. 'This is becoming awesome; what are you going to do?'

'I've made an appointment with the Prosecutor to discuss the whole matter. I've no doubt it'll be taken out of our hands; it's too big for us. Anyway, our main focus must be on solving the murder of Bro. Simon. But I'm gonna recommend a charge followed by a suspended sentence for Bro. Peter; that's the best we can do.'

'But ( _sounding terse_ ) he's admitted to having sex with underage boys; not to mention failing in his duty of care as a teacher.'

'True; and if he hadn't supplied us with info on pedophiles, I would've been very severe, even if, as he claims, there is no victimization involved. He's just lucky he brought a big bargaining chip to the table.'

'I guess ( _sounding exasperated_ ) we have to swallow the proverbial bitter pill.'

'Yes; now tell me how we're progressing with the DNA swabs?'

'We're not; at least we've only got to do the faculty. The children are off limits, unless we have their parent's consent; that's not gonna happen. Bro. Michael is becoming very hostile.'

'I ( _angry_ ) bet he is; according to Bro. Peter he's in this up to his hairy armpits. I'm convinced that the Marist College is the hub of a criminal conspiracy involving murder and pedophilia. When I first came here if you had said that to me, I would've had you transferred to the outback.'

'Thanks ( _laughing_ ), and I would have disserved it. But where are we now; I mean how should we proceed?'

'The first issue is to find out how far Bro. Michael is involved in this mess. Bro. Peter says he talks to someone else . . .'

'But ( _interrupting_ ) doesn't he think the brother capable of killing . . .'

'Yes, I know. But we have to learn more. We need to have something against him to make him talk.'

'How we gonna do that?'

'Tap his phone. I'll get the local judge to give me the authority based on Bro. Peter's interview.'

♂♂

It was the sight of a Twenty-dollar note in the man's hand that persuaded Billy to overcome his original reluctance. He was a big white man with a powerfully muscular frame. The stubby shorts he wore showed brawny muscles and the tan of a skin obviously gained from working outside. His eyes were narrow and it seemed, menacing; but when he lowered his shorts all Billy could think was a bit of fun and a quick twenty dollars . . . for him, not his boozy dad.

'C'mon blackie, I hear tell you'se is good with yer mouth. I ain't had no sex with m' missus and me balls are set to bust. Do a good job and I might give you'se another ten dollars. That's a good lad!'

So Billy knelt before the man and grabbed hold of his penis . . . and never saw the heavy punch to the side of his head that sent him crashing onto his back. This was swiftly followed by a kick to his guts and more vicious kicks followed to every part of Billy's exposed body.

'You dirty piece of black trash ( _oomph_ ) I've heard about yer filthy doings and I'm here to teach ya a lesson ( _oomph_ ). Yer fuck'n disgusting ( _oomph_ ) you and those filthy poofter priests; ya make me sick ( _thump_ ).'

Billy was in so much pain he hardly heard what the man was saying. Defensively, he'd doubled up into a fetal position to try and absorb the kicks as they slammed into his body. He was kicked in the head; to his stomach; on his buttocks; to his thighs and between his shoulder blades. It was a follow up kick to his stomach that started him retching . . . over and over and over.

Then if his pain-racked body had not endured enough, the man began to urinate on Billy's tormented body. A thick steady stream of pungent urine was slashed all over his body; it went on and on until the man emptied himself and looked down on his creation.

'You and the rest of you bludging black trash should be herded into a concentration camp and the Hitler solution applied. The country would be well off if you and yer kind just simply disappeared . . . hopefully into an oven. If I haven't made meself clear, here's my parting message . . . and he spat a thick gob of yellow spit onto Billy's pain ravaged face.

He was in so much pain he couldn't move; any movement only amplified his distress. He began to moan and then started crying.

'Shut the fuck up! Or I'll give you'se another dose of me foot. Shut up faggot; you'se disgusting and so's yer fucking black parents. Fuck'n black wingers; yous're parasites . . . and here's ( _thump_ ) one for good riddance.'

Billy didn't feel the last kick as he slipped from semi-conscience into a comatose state. He was out cold.

♂♂

Luckily, about an hour later he was found by one of the other kids out looking for business. His call to triple zero activated an alert to the police as well as calling for an ambulance. Gloria responded immediately and was first on the scene; a scene that horrified her. Billy was barely breathing and deep in shock. She kept his head as comfortable as possible until the ambulance arrived and whilst waiting she could smell the urine on the kid's shorts and footy jumper.

Mongrels! Don't worry Billy I'll find out who did this. This was a gutless attack on a young kid. Whoever did this is a very sick spineless piece of shit; but he's left his calling card all over you and that's gonna be his downfall.

Billy looked a pitiful sight as the paramedics tried to make him comfortable before loading him into the waiting ambulance. As they were placing Billy into the ambulance she asked about the extent of Billy's injuries.

'He's got two broken ribs and one has fractured near his heart; it's that we're most concerned about. Other than that, the boy has sustained vicious trauma to just about every part of his body; the kick to the side of his head rendered his unconscious and the doctor will probably put him into an induced coma. I hope you get the cruel bastard who did this; I've seen many attacks on people but nothing like this . . . and to a kid. This was a planned attack Senior Constable; I hope the vermin gets charged with attempted murder.'

'I want his clothes and a sample of the spit on his face ( _the paramedic nodded_ ); there's enough DNA evidence here to bag this fucker; don't botch the job. Get the results to Detective Inspector Tom Fitzpatrick as quickly as possible. Are we good? ( _Another nod_ )

'Right! ( _Sadly_ ) I'm off to tell his parents.'

♂♂

The emergency room was crammed with Billy's relatives and as Gloria walked through, they all wanted to know who did this to Billy. To the assembled cluster of distraught black faces she tried to give some comfort.

'I'm just going to talk to the doctors; I'm sure they'll be with you presently to give an update on Billy's situation. But I want to assure you we'll get the cockroach who did this to Billy; he's just a kid and this vicious attack will bring the full weight of the white man's law down on him.'

Two of the elders looked at each other and nodded slowly; tribal law had been sanctioned.

♂♂

Gloria felt conflicting emotions of rage and sadness as she looked down on Billy Yorta. Here was this beautiful sixteen-year-old kid functioning only on life support systems, the steady 'beep', 'beep' of the monitors, being the only evidence that the child was alive.

She threw a questioning glance at one of the doctors who then indicated she should follow him outside.

'He's really taken a battering; ( _shaking his head_ ) I haven't seen a case like this, particularly to a child, for a long time. Besides the trauma to his body the blow to his head has us worried. We'll have to do a catscan to determine if there is any permanent damage to his brain. Our immediate concern is that a blood clot may develop and cause a hemorrhage; so we've introduced blood thinners to the drip, hoping they'll prevent a clot developing. ( _Pause_ )

'We've stabilized the fractured rib that was threatening his heart so that immediate danger has been averted.'

'How long will he be unconscious Doctor? Only Billy can recognize his attacker.'

'Depends; depends on how healthy he is and how we can avert any hemorrhage threat in his brain. I'd say he'll be in an induced coma for at least a week; talk to me then.'

'Thanks; will you talk to his people? They're all waiting outside for news and they'll be asking questions that I can't, and shouldn't answer.'

'No, leave it to me; sadly we're used to this kind of thing.'

♂♂

Once again they were frustrated; another dead end. The forensic people were able to extract a DNA profile from urine and the phlegm on Billy's face. But it was useless until Billy could identify his assailant; and Billy was still in an induced coma. A general appeal went out for anybody who had any knowledge of the attack to come forward. No one did.

Back in the temporary command room, Fitzpatrick vented his frustration by throwing a book at the incident board; Gloria, ( _ducking to avoid the projectile)_ suppressed a smile at the show of childish irritation.

'What's happening about the phone tap on Bro. Mike's phone? At least that's one positive lead we can follow.'

'Yes, yes; thanks! I forgot about that. Yes; I've been trying to concentrate on the Billy Yorta assault and clean forgot about our dear Bro. Mike. Yes; the approval came through yesterday.'

'Well . . .'

'I'll get the tech boys to set it up by tonight. It may not lead anywhere but you never know what might come out of the tap; but let's not get our hopes up . . . this despicable bastard is one cool cookie and my bet is he'll play his cards close to his chest.'

'Hey boss, don't go sounding so negative. All through this investigation when we think we've come up against a brick wall something comes along to keep the investigation ticking over. Let's see what this bullyboy does. Say, what's the decision on Bro. Peter? Have you talked to the Public prosecutor yet?'

'Oh yes; sorry, I forgot to tell you. I need a kick up the arse. Yes I had a call from Melbourne; they'll offer him a conviction but with a suspended sentence of five years. But he must come through and spill what he knows about the pedophile ring and their activities; he'll be asked to name names and if he lies or omits valuable info, the sentence will commence in Loddon correction Centre.'

'Ok; that's near Bendigo isn't it?'

♂♂

. . . ( _Click_ ) . . . ( _Click_ ) . . . 'Hello, Brother Mike speaking.'

'I was expecting you to call; I want to know why it was necessary to bash the abbo kid up . . . ( _angry and loud_ ) are you out of your fucking mind! He's just a kid for Christ sake; I would've thought that even you and your cronies wouldn't stoop so low as to . . .'

'Shut the fuck up! Shut up you ignorant bastard . . . don't use the lords name in vain in my presence; swear as much as you like but I'll draw the line at using the lord's name in such a manner . . .'

'Jesus . . . ( _sounding derogatory_ ) aren't we being petty. It's all right to bash up young kids to near death but you can't use yer bloody Christian god's name. You lot make me sick. We've all known about the kids' activities haven't we? It makes me laugh; the kids regard your lot as their best customers, and then you go and spoil it for everybody by maiming one of the nicest darkies I've ever known. You know the kid had a great footy career ahead, but now thanks to you he's gonna be lucky to walk again. ( _Sneering_ ) Arseholes!'

'You're just a common ill-mannered blowhard sergeant. . .'

Sergeant! Both Fitzpatrick and Gloria exchanged looks of complete surprise. Sergeant! Sergeant Cree?

'. . . and I find you a very unpleasant human being. No; you shut up! Don't interject; let me have a say for once. For your information, it wasn't any of my people here who bashed the kid up. Think what you want but I'm telling you it wasn't any of the people here who did the kid in. It's more like the thugs you associate with who'd do something so brutal. Ok; we're hypocrites when it comes to sex activities, but we've never . . . I repeat never victimized anyone.'

Silence.

'Alright, ( _conciliatory_ ) alright, if it wasn't the clergy who done him in . . . then who?'

'Don't know! You're a copper; you've got the means to investigate . . . we haven't'

'Ummm . . . I've been taken off the case, so I don't know what that smug fuck-whit from Melbourne and that bitch Lesbo are doing. But the whole shebang is about to go belly up. That weak bastard of yours, Brother Peter is copping a plea in exchange for testifying about our activities . . .

' _Ours! Our activities' Fitzpatrick and Gloria were riveted; Cree was up to his neck in the mess._

. . . Whoever silenced Brother Simon should have fucked Brother Peter as well.'

'I wish you could refrain from foul language.'

'Oh do you! And I wish I hadn't listened to you when you came and asked for protection nearly three years ago. At that time I was entirely sympathetic to your suggestion, because I agreed it was wrong for the Church to deny anybody sexual relief, and ( _laughing_ ) I didn't know you're a bunch of homo's.'

'So, what's your point? My needs are purely heterosexual, but you have to admit sergeant that gay people give you police less trouble then straights do. Anyway, we're off the point. I know my people didn't kill Brother Simon and if you say the police didn't then who; who killed Brother Simon?'

'Who indeed; perhaps he was just a wrong person in a wrong place at the wrong time. These tragic instances do happen. But I've been removed from the investigation so my info is via the grapevine .That's why I called you to tell that your Brother Peter is about to spill his guts out and we can't do anything about it . . . short of silencing him; and that ain't gonna happen. Just be prepared.'

'Well; thanks for the heads up. ( _Earnestly_ ) I really do appreciate the warning. ( _Sigh_ ) I'll have to inform the Headmaster about the whole mess and that's not something to look forward too.

♂♂

Jeff toyed with his beer, letting the sounds of the RSL swirl around him. He was in a very dismal place; a very bad dark place. He left work for lunch and then stayed on at the club; drinking and thinking and worrying and feeling hopeless. He was in love; desperately in love. Love was a new emotion to Jeffry; he had never known a parents love and although his aunt Betty had tried to love him, it wasn't the same as a mother's love. And he definitely didn't love Cindy; that was an arrangement that disguised his homosexuality.

Kenny, Kenny, Kenny; where are you. It's been three days now and not a word. I miss you; I'm scared you won't come back. Even being HIV positive, Rickie has more to offer than me. They're probably having sex, protected sex right now; just the thought of what they may be doing is driving me mad. Kenny! Where are you Kenny; where are you. Why don't you call? You know about Billy; you should be here with us, with me. We should be sharing our grief for the battered body of that beautiful young man.

Yeah, you say you love me. Huh! Words just words. All that diseased piece of shit has to do is call and you come running. I hope that you enjoy getting off with him . . . no, no, no! I shouldn't be thinking like this. I shouldn't; but I can't help it. I can't help it. I wish I could find a little dark corner to hide.

As the afternoon wore on and he sank deeper in the mire of wretchedness, Jeff realized he needed more money; but he'd left his ATM card at home. Through his foggy brain he decided to go home, collect his card, and then head over to the Shearers. But he was well over the limit and would have to drive carefully. But even being caught and sent to jail had an appeal. There would be plenty of sex; yes, even the danger of Aids in jail, and it would break the misery of his present despair.

When he arrived home he fancied he heard sounds coming from upstairs. Even in his befuddled state he realized that something was wrong and he slowly and quietly climbed the stairs to their sleeping quarters. As he got closer the sounds became guttural interspaced with little squeals. A feeling of dread overcame him as he quietly opened his bedroom door and saw . . .

An ugly hairy bum thrusting enthusiastically into . . . Cindy, his wife who was squealing with passion at each bestial thrust. Then, becoming aware of an intrusion the head attached to the hairy bum ravaging his wife turned and . . . and . . . and he looked into the face of his brother . . . Laurie!

For one insane moment three people formed a tabloid of guilt, betrayal, and contempt. Cindy was the first to recover with . . .

'Oh Jeffry, Jeffry I'm sorry, sorry; you . . . you weren't supposed to come home until . . .'

Something snapped inside Jeff. There is a limit to the amount of despair the brain can withstand and Jeffry had reached his. One by one his senses closed down until he was, and became, an emotional shell; and was made absolute by the sneering laughter that emanated from his brother.

But he didn't hear his brother's sneering laughter or his wife's pleas for forgiveness; he went back down the stairs and climbed into his car.

By some instinct he drove out to the edge of town where a long, straight stretch of highway disappeared into the distance.

Jeffry put his foot down hard on the accelerator, and . . . faster . . . faster . . . faster . . .
Chapter Nine

It was a desolate atmosphere in the Headmasters office that sunny afternoon. Two men of the clergy faced each other across ten thousand miles of desk. The older man was crumpled; sagging into his chair as if desperately seeking comfort and protection. He had just been told of such evil happenings that no school administrator should have to endure.

The younger man had adopted a respectable and miserable demeanor. Brother Michael was a hard man but even he had quailed at the prospect of telling this wonderful old man such appalling news. Perhaps for the first time in his life he felt the agony of remorse. Brother Dominic looked up from his contemplation of his desk diary and . . .

'You're telling me ( _disbelief_ ) that this appalling state of affairs has been going on for almost three years. What ( _exasperated)_ have you been doing Brother Michael; what have you done personally to encourage our people in this matter. What has been your role?'

'( _A deep breath_ ) I have long believed the Church to be wrong on the issue of Celibacy; very wrong. A healthy sex life is a need given to us by our creator and it is immoral of the church to oppose this . . .'

'That ( _heatedly_ ) is not your prerogative to challenge, Brother. ( _Raising his voice_ ) Neither you nor I can challenge official church teaching on the matter. You know that! You made a vow . . .'

'( _Angrily_ ) yes, yes I did; yes I took a vow! I took a vow because I wasn't given any alternative; ( _louder_ ) I had no option. I had no choice in the matter . . . just do as the church dictates and shut up!'

'Are you telling me you took your vow with a false heart?'

'That's one way to look at the issue. Another would be that I wanted to do great things. To reach out and help people, believing that the greater good is served by not following out of date church teachings on a fundamental issue such as celibacy. Other Christian faiths do not enforce celibacy; they allow their adherents to marry, have children, and live a happy life. No . . . please don't interrupt Brother; let me finish.

The main reason that celibacy is required has nothing to do with doctrine but has everything to do with economics. The Church in its usual miserly fashion doesn't want to spend money for the upkeep of spouses and families. What hypocrisy! We are against the use of family planning; encouraging lay people to have large families, but at the same time denying that wonderful joy to their own clergy. Hypocrisy! Double standards!'

'( _Sigh_ ) Careful brother, that attitude may see you lose your privileges as a priest. You may be defrocked.'

"Ha! That's a laugh; I'm resigning right now. I want no more to do with hypocritical church teachings. I'm sure that I'll have to face criminal charges but when I do you may be assured that I'll have my day in court. I intend to expose the dire hypocrisy of the Catholic Church. I'm not gonna go quietly.'

'I'm sorry you feel . . .'

'( _Angrily)_ Please don't give me platitudes Brother. I've seen too much insincerity in my time as a priest. ( _Pause_ ) Now back to your earlier question. What was my role in this mess? Now I can tell you. I found out about the brothers paying for sex with the abbo boys and girls and was entirely sympathetic. I told them individually, that as long as they didn't victimize the kids, and the parents had no objection, I would let them continue. It seemed a win, win situation. Then I approached the local police sergeant and having put my case, asked for him to turn a blind eye. He agreed and so the matter proceeded. That was until the little abbo girl was killed; the rest, as they say, is history.'

An uncomfortable silence grew whilst each man considered the next move.

He's captured the high moral ground. His threat to turn on the church is real; knowing Brother Michael as I do, he'll carry out his threat and the church will suffer greatly. But it's not up to me is it? All I can do is report the whole mess to the bishop and tender my resignation . . . or enforced retirement.

'Well, what should we do now Brother?'

'Wait.'

♂♂

The ambulance rushing Jeffry to hospital arrived at the Emergency entrance with sirens wailing. Waiting staff hurried him into the Intensive care unit and proceeded to repair his most obvious and serious wounds.

He had been lucky; the air bag has saved his life. Aside from broken ribs and lacerations to his legs the only other damage was to his head where he'd taken a serious bump to the side; there was more blood than damage.

Nevertheless, a cat scan and x-ray were taken and were awaiting the report of a specialist. A tearful and remorseful Cindy arrived and had to wait for the medical staff to inform her as to his state. On the other hand Laurie Cree indicated he couldn't care less whether his cousin lived or died.

♂♂

Kenny was devastated by the call from Gloria; Jeffry in intensive care with serious injuries which could have been self-inflicted. Suddenly he felt frightened; two of the most important people in Kenny's life were now lying in hospital with life-threatening injuries. He'd already told Rickie about Billy and now explained about Jeffry.

'I don't know if it was a deliberate attempt at suicide or a simple accident; but it sounds like he was trying to hurt himself. I must go.'

'( _sighing_ ) I understand Ken; I understand you have feelings for this guy. ( _Whining_ ) I wish you had've had the same feelings for me. Maybe we could've made an effort with our relationship.'

'C'mon Rickie, you know we had more problems than just how we felt about each other. Let's not go there again . . . please.'

'( _whining_ ) let's not go where? You suddenly decide that we don't have a relationship and then take off to some piffy country town to get away from me. And now I'm dying and you want to return to this country yob who as you admit, has made a complete mess of his life; Right?'

'Wrong. Firstly, you're not dying; the treatment of aids has come a long way and our people aren't dying anymore. HIV is controllable and you could live a long life. Secondly; you can't point the finger about Jeff being in the closet when you're doing exactly the same.'

'( _pause_ ) Ouch . . . I'm sorry Ken, I didn't want to sound like a possessive bitch. You're right; our major problem was me being a coward and staying in the closet. ( _Sigh_ ) I'll have to come clean now, won't I? I can't disguise the fact that I have aids. My footy career's over; I won't be allowed to play now that I'm HIV positive. What a fucking mess!'

'Yeah, it sure is Rickie. But lots of HIV positive people find others and they can have a good life together. You were my first love Rickie; that's something I'll never forget and will always have tender memories . . . Look after yourself kiddo.'

♂♂

And as he drove away from Melbourne towards the place he now called home, Kenny had time to think.

Why have I been avoiding admitting to myself the strength of my very deep feelings for Jeff? It's strange that the emotions you have as a child seemed to strengthen as you get older. I knew way back then that I felt something special for Jeff but being so young I couldn't recognize my feelings for what they were. I guess it's the same as childhood sweethearts finally getting married and living the rest of their lives together.

Somehow the years apart have made my feelings more powerful and yet I couldn't or wouldn't admit that I loved him. Sadly it took a potential tragedy to make me see the truth. I'll never forget the emptiness when I took the call from Gloria. My mouth went dry and my heart beat savagely. I can't lose him; I won't lose him. Not now, not ever.

♂♂

On arriving back in Waterford, Kenny didn't go home; he went straight to the hospital and was directed to the intensive care ward. There Jeffry lay; head encased in bandages and an oxygen mask assisting his breathing. He looked pitiful; he looked vulnerable and to Kenny his heart literally ached to see him in this condition. He sat down beside the now comatose Jeff and . . . talked to him.

'I . . . I love you man. ( _Pause_ ) I'm so sorry it took me so long to recognize it Jeff. Now I'll shout it out loud if only you'll come back to us; to me. ( _Choke_ ) I know you're sensitive and probably not very emotionally strong but that part of you that makes me love you. ( _Pause_ ) Geeze it's good to say the words out loud . . . I love you Jeff. If you'll let me, we'll plan a life together and grow old together. ( _Pause_ ) Shit that sounds corny! But I don't care; ( _sob_ ) I don't care about the future, I only care about the present with you, with me.

If ( _sob_ ) you feel as strong about me as I do about you, we'll overcome life's problems. I can't . . . ( _pause_ ) I can't wait to wake up and feel you lying beside me; and let me tell you you're about the sexiest man I've ever seen. We'll have happiness and ( _pause_ ) yes a few sad times; life's not easy. But it is certainly easier if you've got the person you love sharing the highs and lows with you. ( _Pause_ ) Geeze, I love you Jeff . . .'

'That was beautiful . . . I wish; I wish I had someone to say things like that to me. That was beautiful Ken; I'm sure Jeffry heard you.'

'Oh hi . . . ( _Kenny looked up at Gloria who had come in unnoticed_ ) I . . . Uh . . . just wanted to tell him how I feel about him; even if he can't hear me. Sorry babe; I've just come straight from driving and I must smell yucky. Geeze . . . he looks bad!'

'That's Ok ( _laughing_ ) beautiful words will always overcome any smell. And don't worry, he's actually better than he looks; the air bag saved his life. He's only on oxygen to help him breath; some of his ribs are severely bruised. But there's a whole bunch of stuff I've got to tell you; how's about we go down to the hospital coffee shop and I'll fill you in. For the time being Jeff's in good hands. C'mon.'

♂♂

'Jesus Christ ( _loudly_ ) . . . you've got to be kidding. Jeff tried to total himself?'

Like most hospital coffee shops the conversation was subdued, but Kenny's voice level reflected his alarm at Gloria's news about Jeff.

'Yes, apparently; his wife Cynthia broke down and sobbed out the whole sordid story. She was completely consumed with remorse; Jeff caught her in bed with Laurie Cree, and the shock was too much. He just couldn't cope. That I can understand; your wife being unfaithful with a relative like Laurie Cree, would unbalance anybody. It's common knowledge that she'd been sleeping around; everybody had heard the rumors . . . except Jeff of course.'

'What a bitch . . . what a bitch she is and what a mongrel is bloody Laurie Cree. What about Cree's wife, Betty; does she know?'

'I can only assume so; the whole town knows so she must. ( _Angry_ ) How a cretin like Cree got to be a sergeant in the cops is hard to fathom.'

'Yeah . . . I mean I've always known him to be a bastard; I thought he might mellow with time, but it appears he's got worse. What a fucker! Anyway, you were talking to me about Jeff.'

'Well, from what I know, Jeff's been unhappy for some time. I don't think he intended suicide . . . he was trying to escape; to escape from something horrible. He was driving away from his pain rather than driving towards ending it; he's very much in love with you and probably worried about you being with your ex-lover. ( _Kenny went to interrupt_ ). No! I didn't mean to accuse you Kenny, 'cause you're one of the most decent persons I've ever met. But Jeff is not as strong as you and I guess everything just became too much.'

'Well, be that as it may; I was in such a rush to get with Rickie I really didn't consider Jeff's feelings. Certainly I should've called him regularly. I just didn't think Gloria . . . I just didn't think.'

'Well, if you repeat what I heard you say to him just now, he'll be a very happy boy. ( _Sigh_ ) I wish I had someone to love just like you and Jeff . . . I'm jealous.'

'We'll ( _thoughtfully_ ) work it out somehow. But I gather the town's in an uproar over the recent police investigation. What's happening?'

'Oh, lots. Let me go back; you knew about Billy ( _Kenny nodded 'yes'_ ) Well, he's still in hospital but out of intensive care. We'll go back and visit ( _again Kenny nodded)._ He was banged up really bad, but the perp left his DNA all over the boy. All we have to do now is get Billy to identify him and if his DNA matches, we've got the shit; and I've got an idea how to do that.'

'( _Angry_ ) Bloody hell, why do people have to be so cruel? Why batter an innocent young kid like Billy. I just hope he can continue his footy preparation; it'll be a shame if he's out for life . . . a bloody shame. But tell me more.'

'Well, one of the brothers; Ummm, his name is Peter, came to us and volunteered to . . .'

'Peter! Brother Peter? I know him; he's a very decent person. I would have no problem vouching for his integrity. What has he got to do with this mess?'

'If you let me finish . . . he came and admitted he'd been having paid sex with the young abbo boys. We were very wary at first and told him we'd have to consider the information he'd give before we could make any deal with him. ( _Ken went to interject but Gloria silenced him_ ) Obviously, he wanted immunity but we told him that would have to be considered in Melbourne. We've now offered him a conviction with a suspended sentence. Now, what did you want to say?'

'Shit! ( _Sounding_ _bewildered_ ) Wow! What can I say; Shit, Brother Peter. ( _Pause_ ) I'm dismayed. He's very sincere; but of course he's also human. I don't understand how the Catholic Church expects its men-folk to deny their natural urges. To me trying to be celibate is completely un-natural.'

'How right you are, but let me come back to that; it's a very important observation and celibacy is the root cause of the problem. But Kenny . . . let me come back to the issue in a moment. Now, where was I . . .?

Oh yes . . . When, we offered him a suspended sentence, he started talking. Fitzpatrick and I could hardly believe the tale he told us. It appears that, with the connivance of Brother Michael and our own sergeant Cree, the brothers have been having sex favors with the abbo kids for money . . .'

'Wow! You're telling me that Cree and Brother Michael were encouraging the brothers to have sex with the young abbo kids . . .'

'. . . yes, and some of the white kids too. But the white kid's parents didn't know what's been going on; at least, we don't believe they know.'

'Shit eh! What a mess. But Laurie Cree; it's hard to understand why he got so involved with the College. Why did he do it?'

'Before I attempt to answer that, let's go back to your point about celibacy. When we confronted Brother Michael he confessed he was vehemently opposed to the church on celibacy. Apparently, he turned a blind eye to the brother's sexual antics and actually protected them by having Cree ignore any prosecution. Why Cree agreed I can't say; perhaps he was storing up blackmail evidence for later use.'

'Yeah . . . that'd be right; Cree hasn't got a noble cell in his entire body. So where does the whole mess stand now?'

'Cree has been busted to constable, and transferred to a little town outback of Swan Hill. Betty's gonna divorce him I hear, and move back to Melbourne. Brother Michael has resigned from the Catholic Church, but it won't end there; the Premier has called for a wide-ranging enquiry into all religious institutions and their encouragement of pedophilia. As a movie, it should be a blockbuster.'

'Jesus . . . ( _concerned_ ) but what about that dear old man, Brother Dominic; I wonder what's gonna happen to him?'

'( _Sadly_ ) I suppose there's always got to be a scapegoat. He had nothing to do with the goings on but I'm sure the church will have to blame somebody; someone, that is except itself. ( _Angrily_ ) What a bunch of bastards is the whole Catholic Church. I hold them collectively responsible for this mess. If they didn't subscribe to that ridiculous stupidity called celibacy, much of this problem could've been avoided.'

'Agreed; they're all afraid to oppose Rome because their careers depend on being acquiescent. Shit heads! How do you get on with Tom Fitzpatrick? Is he a good guy to work with?'

'Yeah . . . he's pretty much what you see is what you get. He's also a good detective; he's ( _sounding excited_ ) offered to smooth the way for me to become a detective, and I'm gonna take him up on that. I like the brain work; the mystery and the challenge.'

'That sounds great Gloria; Go for it girl, I reckon you'd make a good dic. Now what about Billy; I want to see him before I go home and change.'

Right; let's go and find the little bugger . . .'

♂♂

. . . Who was sitting up in a chair looking dangerous. His face split into a wide toothy grin when Gloria and Kenny entered.

'Hey, hey . . . Missus Gloria; Mr. Kenny! I'se gotta thank you'se for cumin 't sees me. It sure is borin' here; I'se got nudding to do. Oh hey Mr. Kenny . . . I'se sorry 'bout Mr. Jeff; he Ok?'

'Yeah Billy; he'll be Ok. He's in good hands and mending slowly. But we're here to ask about you. How're you coming on? I heard you took a real beating. I've been worried 'bout yer footy training. What's the doctor say?'

'Arr . . . they'se know nudding; can't tell Billy what's for. I been walking and the psycho lady ( _both Gloria and Kenny laughed at Billy's wrong pronunciation_ ) she been practicing on me. But I'se got one back de udder day; as she massaged me I let go a big, smelly fart. Like as not knocked her out; ha, ha.'

Billy's infectious banter relaxed Gloria and Kenny and they enjoyed his lighthearted attitude. It was Kenny who got serious.

'Whoever attacked you Billy was a miserable coward; you told the cops that he was a big white guy and plenty muscled. Did he make any threats against you; I mean did you have any inkling that he was gonna turn nasty?'

'( _Slowly and thoughtfully_ ) Yep, I'se did. Didn't like the look of him afore I started to give him a blowjob; but he done flashed a twenty at me so's I took a chance. But he din't have to piss on me did he Mr. Kenny . . . did he? That made me mad, real mad. But he had a real big cock Mr. Kenny; you should've seen it. . Big, red an . . .'

'Stop! . . . Hey that's enough Billy; there's a lady present.'

'Oh . . . Geeze, sorry Miss Gloria; didn't mean no offense'

'Relax Billy; I'd rather you give a description of the man rather than describing his private parts. Would you recognize him again?'

'Yep . . . I'se would. Ya doan forget someone who's pissed all over you'se. I'd as like to get the fucker and shove a didgeridoo up his arse. And me mum and dad would like to get the witchdoctor onto his case; when we'se finished he won't look good.'

'That's fine Billy . . . real good; I've got an idea that just might work. I've checked it out with Tom Fitzpatrick and he's agreed to the plan. But you have to be able to move around freely. What does your doctor say?'

'That I'se the most attractive, sexy, gorgeous ( _Ken and Gloria started laughing)_ and generous boy he's ever seen. I'se sure he wants his cock sucked! . . . Eh Mr. Kenny; you'se ever fucked a doctor?'

'( _Still laughing)_ No, I have not. You'd better watch yerself Billy; the doctor may order a dose of castor oil, followed by an enema . . . a big enema.'

'What's an enemy?'

'Not enemy, but an enema. It's when they pump yer arse full with soapy water to make you go to the toilet real big. . . not good.'

'Don' worries Mr. Ken; I'se can look after me self. Me bums used to big t'ings; I'se been practicing.'

Laughing, Gloria and Kenny left Billy to annoy the hospital staff. As they walked down the corridor, Gloria said,

'He's so open and uncomplicated; you just can't help loving Billy. Also, he's a survivor.'

'Yep, he is that. I reckon he'll have all the nursing staff in stitches.'
Chapter Ten

'Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch but with luck it should work; how's the lad doing?'

Fitzpatrick and Gloria were sitting in Cree's old office, and she had just outlined her plan to flush out Billy's assailant.

'He's doing great; it's in credible how he's not only overcome his physical injuries but mentally and emotionally he doesn't show any effects of trauma. He's like a proverbial red rubber ball; the harder you bounce it, the higher it bounces back. ( _Sigh_ ) I wish.'

'Yeah, I understand what you mean. You know ( _wistfully_ ), this case is screwy. With every other case I've had to handle, I've been presented with a definite suspect, but have had to go looking for evidence to nail the perp. Now we've got lots of evidence but no leads to the perp. That's why I want you to go ahead with your plan. It just might work and that would be a good start.'

'Ok, I'm glad you agree; I feel a bit shitty using the kid for our purposes, but knowing Billy, he'll completely understand. **'**

'Gloria, sometimes in detective work the means do justify the ends and we have to make a judgment call to solve the case; don't worry, I'll have your back. When do you think you'll put your plan into action?'

'Depends when Billy's strong enough, but I reckon a Friday night is the best time. Incidentally, I did mention my idea to Billy and he became enthusiastic. He thinks it's a game.'

'Well, in a way it is; but a very dangerous game. Bye the way, how's Cree's younger brother progressing? Do you think he tried to kill himself? Christ Almighty, I mean finding your own brother, and in particular a piece of shit like Laurie Cree, fucking your wife would send anyone round the bend and want to kill . . . either yourself or the other shithead.'

'Yeah ( _nodding her head_ ) it would certainly unbalance any normal person; he's also been involved emotionally with Kenny Jones and I believe . . .'

'Jones . . . the queer footballer? I didn't know they were having . . .'

'Hey! Stop right there! There's no need for verbal abuse or discrimination; 'queer' is a bad word ( _Fitzpatrick began to go red with embarrassment_ ) . . . a very bad word. Let me ask you Inspector; if you were born gay how would you like to be called a 'poofter' a 'queer' a 'faggot' or a 'queen'. Huh? How would you feel if someone referred to you by any one of these names?'

'Shit ( _sounding humbled)_ Gloria, I'm really sorry . . . really sorry. You're right; I apologize. I was wrong – very wrong; I've got no excuse, I was offensive. I'm not ( _earnestly_ )a homophobe . . . definitely, absolutely not; I've got a nephew who's gay and I know the shit that gay people have to endure. I'm really sorry.'

'Ok Tom; I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be heavy. Once upon a time, we gays would endure all the profanities directed at us, but not anymore; we've learnt that turning the other cheek is counter-productive and demeaning. Apology accepted.'

'Great! Well enough of that; go and start putting your plan together, and just keep me informed.'

'Will do.'

♂♂

'Hey Kenny, just finished going over the plan with Tommy Fitz and I've got good news and some really good news. What do you prefer?'

'I'll let you be the judge.'

'Well, Fitzpatrick has ok'd the plan I outlined for you the other day; left it in my hands to implement.'

'And . . . ?'

'Jeff's awake! On the way to see Billy I dropped in for a look . . . and there, large as life, was Jeffry sitting up in bed . . .'

'. . . He's ( _excited_ ) awake? He's awake; shit almighty. How does he look? No, don't tell me; I'm gonna drop everything and go see him.'

'Wow, slow down. He's still bandaged round the head, so I doubt if you'll get much conversation from him. He's also like to be disorientated, and may have trouble remembering what happened. Don't get yer hopes up tiger. He may need a lot of time to get back to normal.'

'That's ok, that's ok; I just want to be there even if he's semi-conscious. At least coming out of his coma is a good sign; right?'

'Yes, I reckon it is; there's hope. But talk to his doctor or at least the head nurse; they'll be able to tell you more.'

'I'm on my way. Hey, sorry, sorry; great that you can proceed with the plan involving Billy Have you talked to him about what you want him to do?'

'Not specifically, no. I'm gonna do that tomorrow; and if you see Jeff, will you give him my love.'

♂♂

Kenny could feel his heart beating fast as he neared Jeff's room; that he'd been moved out of intensive care to the general population was a very reassuring sign. Jeff was sitting up in bed watching the small TV screen provided by the hospital. As he came face to face with Jeff, Kenny experienced that familiar surge of pleasure; there was no doubt as to his feelings for Jeffry.

'Hey . . .'

'Hey . . .'

( _Awkward Silence_ . . .)

( _Speaking as one)_ Oh man; Geeze it's good . . . ( _they both laughed_ )

Then . . .

'Shit ( _talking fast_ ) Jeffry Cree you had me really worried. The last time I visited, you were at death's door; Christ, I was really worried Jeff, really worried. You looked so vulnerable with all those tubes sticking out and that bloody monitor going 'beep' 'beep' all the time. We all thought we were gonna lose you and . . . why did you do such a stupid thing like that. You know you coulda been killed and if it wasn't for the air bag you would've been killed and . . . and . . . what about Billy; he's also in hospital with bad injuries but they say . . .'

'Kenny, Kenny, shut up; slow down; you're talking too fast. I can't keep up with you. Slow down; let me look at you. You really are a sight for sore eyes; I've really missed you shit-head. When I came out of the coma, my first thoughts were of you. ( _Pause_ ) . . . I was scared Kenny; bloody scared.'

'Scared . . . what of?'

'Of losing you buddy; I was scared of losing you. When I hadn't heard from you, I began to think the worst.'

'The worst; what do you mean, the worst?'

'( _Pause_ ) that you'd decided to stay in Melbourne and look after Ri . . . No! Don't interrupt; please, let me finish. I figured that his needs were more critical than my needs. ( _Jeff paused and looked down at his hands_ ) I know you told me that you loved me but . . . sorry, they're only words, and . . . and; I know how I feel Ken. The thought of losing you was extremely painful; too painful. I was very low; I was in a dreadfully dark place. And when . . .'

'Is that why you tried to destroy. . .'

'Oh, no, no. Please don't think that. No! The fact is I wasn't trying to 'off' meself. No! Never! Suicide is a coward's way out. I may be a dick-head but I'm not a coward; well, I don't believe I am. Things just sort of piled up and catching Laurie . . . ummm I . . . do you know what happened with Cindy and . . . ( _Kenny nodded yes)_ Well, I went into shock I guess; it wasn't just Cindy being unfaithful, after all she'd fucked half the white men in town . . .'

'You knew . . .?'

'Yeah, of course I knew. I mean, I'd lost any interest in her, either emotionally or sexually, from even before we were married. I knew she needed to get serviced . . . can't blame her . . . so I just turned a blind eye to her 'adventures'. Fact is I was jealous of her; she was getting what I needed. Shit – what a mess.'

'So you . . .'

'I just got in my car and drove like hell to get away from the whole mess. I can't even remember how fast I was driving or hitting the bloody tree.'

Kenny went and sat down on the bedside chair and took hold of Jeff's hand; he gave it a gentle squeeze.

'Well you're right in one sense; Rickie was all over me making demands he knew could not be satisfied. Because I felt sorry for him – I don't know why- I let myself become entangled in the mess he'd made of his life. You see Jeff ( _becoming heated),_ Rickie is one of those persons who can only think of themselves; everything has to be about him, him and more him. But ( _pause_ ) I'm only giving you reasons; I don't have any excuse for not calling you. I was wrong; wrong to not call you and wrong to get ensnared in Rickie's emotional performances.'

'Please, please don't . . .'

'. . . Don't blame myself? Well I do because I . . . I love you man. ( _Pause_ ) I'm so sorry it took me so long to recognize it Jeff. ( _Choke_ ) I know you're sensitive and probably not very strong but that's a part of you that makes me love you. ( _Pause_ ) . . . If you'll let me, we'll plan a life together and grow old together. ( _Pause_ ) Shit that sounds corny! But I don't care; ( _choke_ ) I don't care about the future, I only care about the present with you, with me.

( _Pause_ ) And I can't wait to wake up and feel you lying beside me; and let me tell you you're about the sexiest man I've ever seen. We'll have happiness and ( _pause_ ) yes a few sad times; life's not easy. But it is certainly easier if you've got the person you love sharing the highs and lows with you. ( _Pause_ ) I don't know what else I can say . . .'

Silence . . . and then,

'Kenny, that's about the most beautiful spoken words I've ever heard; no one has ever said anything like that to me before. I don't know how to respond; but I can tell you my cock's as hard as a piece of steel. I think I'm gonna explode!'

( _Laughing_ ) We can fix that but not here; however here's what I'm gonna do . . .'

Kenny got up from the chair and taking Jeff's face in both his hands, kissed him deeply and passionately. Jeff heart rate soared as he returned the passion of Ken's kiss; for a long moment they clung together, tongues exploring and savoring the close proximity of their bodies. It was the first time that Jeff had passionately kissed another man; he was overwhelmed. Neither man wanted to break the embrace. . .

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY HUSBAND? MY GOD . . . YOU'RE KISSING HIM!

Kenny spun round at the sound of the voice, and came face to face with a very enraged Cynthia. It was a tabloid captured at a moment of time; Kenny, still supporting Jeff's head, stared at Cynthia; Jeff sitting upright, his mouth open and looking frightened; and Cynthia, dressed provocatively, staring with open disbelief towards the two men. It was Cindy, who broke the impasse,

'I REPEAT . . . WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY HUSBAND?'

'What does it look like . . . I'm kissing him; and keep your voice down, this is a hospital, and you're disturbing the other patients.'

'YOU DIRTY LITTLE FAGGOT! GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND; YOU'RE JUST A DIRTY QUEER, TRYING TO CONVERT MY MAN TO YOUR DIRTY DISGUSTING HABITS. LEAVE HIM ALONE!

At this point, a nurse came running into the room and demanded,

'Please, be quiet; consider the other patients. If you have to abuse each other do it outside. Any more outbursts and I'll ask you all to leave. Do I make myself clear . . . do I?'

'Yes answered Kenny, I hear you; you're right, we won't raise our voices ( _looking directly at Cynthia) . . ._ will we?'

The nurse departed with a withering glance at each person. Kenny was about to respond when Jeff forestalled him,

'Cynthia, please . . . please hear what I have to say. ( _Pause_ ) I'm in love with Kenny; probably have been since we were kids. I know Kenny feels the same _(Kenny nodded his agreement)_ about me. ( _Pause_ ) You know our marriage has been a joke; unsatisfactory for both of us. I know you've been fucking around and I don't blame you for it. You're only human and being a healthy woman you have to discharge your sexual needs; sexual needs that I couldn't satisfy.'

'Hold on, if you think that sweet talk is gonna . . .'

'Let ( _sternly_ ) me finish. We're all adults here and it's about time we started acting as adults. You don't love me and I don't love you, so let's end this sham and try and get on with our lives. Yes, I'm gay and it's been wrong of me to pretend otherwise. I'm sorry.'

Both Cynthia and Kenny simply stared at Jeff, stunned by his self-confidence and taking control. Suddenly, gone was the passive Jeff, replaced by an assertive Jeff.

'You . . . you're queer – a faggot? And you knew this when you married me? You ( _choke_ ) you bastard! You ( _hostile_ ) little piece of shit! I should sue you, for . . .'

'For what? You're gonna sue me for what . . . not exposing myself to ignorant people such as you and my so-called brother? But let's have an end to all this name calling and threats. I don't really care what you call me, because now I'm free; free to get on with my life and with the person I love, so why don't we bury the hatchet and try and start anew. We can still be friends, Cindy. And just for the record, I could resort to name calling, but I choose not to as that would not be helpful.'

'Friends! ( _Furious_ ) friends! I'd like to bury the hatchet in your head. ( _Turning towards Kenny)_ And you; you piece of slime. I'd heard that a faggot footballer was in town; what a joke! You're not a man; you're an insult to all the real male footy players. That's what you are . . . a joke, a disgrace . . . a faggot who's a disgrace to the game of Aussie Rules. I bet you love getting in the showers and perving on yer mates bums! You're sick!'

Kenny fixed Cynthia with a contemptuous stare.

'You know Cynthia; you're a classic case of ignorance coupled with homophobia. Go see . . . ( _harsh_ ) No, don't interrupt; for once in your life listen to someone else. I was about to say that if you see a doctor, there is a course of treatment that will rid you of homophobia. You've got a disease which can be cured; given time and determination.'

There followed silence. Kenny gave Jeff's hand a squeeze to show his support with Jeff's stand against Cynthia. With a contemptuous sneer, Cynthia turned around and stormed out of the room. Jeff and Kenny just looked at each other and burst out laughing.

'Wow, I'm rapt Jeffry Cree, you handled that impressively.

♂♂

Kenny felt light-headed and spellbound as he left the hospital; the taste of Jeff's mouth invoked wonderful memories with the promise of pleasures to come. His mobile rang.

'Kenny, it's Gloria. I'm gonna put my plan into action this Friday. I'd like you to be with me 'cause you can handle Billy better than I can. I thought we'd start about 5.00 pm if that's alright with you?'

'Sure Gloria, I'll be there. Incidentally, I've just left Jeff; we had a very interesting altercation with the lovely Cynthia. I'll fill you in when we meet. It's looking good.

Great; give the boy my love and best wishes.'

'Will do.'
Chapter Eleven

Friday night at the RSL was usually packed with guys enjoying the end of the work week with other guys. On the other hand, Saturday night was more formal and reserved for wives and partners; it was the time to 'dress up'.

Gloria and Kenny brought Billy into the main bar room at the RSL about 5.00 pm and quickly found a table that had a good view of the entrance as well as the room. Billy was excited as indigenous people were discouraged from visiting the club. There wasn't a prescribed rule against blackfellas but just the same indigenous folk were made to feel uncomfortable being in the club.

Of course being only sixteen, Billy was not permitted to be in the club premises, let alone be served alcoholic drinks. When they were seated Gloria outlined the plan again.

'We've got a good view of the entrance and the main bar; I want you ( _indicating Billy_ ) to simply keep a watch out to see if you recognize the man who assaulted you. Simple?'

'Yeah, but whats if he doan come; whattaya gonna do?

'Come up with another plan. But I'm sure he'll front tonight, so let me worry about that.'

'Gloria, how's about I fetch some drinks?'

'Thanks Kenny; I'll have a lite beer and Billy will have . . .?'

'A southern comfort . . . with ice!'

'Billy ( _frowning at Billy)_ will have a soft drink . . . lemonade!'

Kenny went off to the bar leaving Gloria and Billy watching the entrance door.

Geeze, I've really put myself out and taking a big risk. After all the trouble I've had with the RSL manager just to get an underage Billy admitted to the club was an ordeal in itself.

Kenny came back with the drinks and they settled down to what could become a long night. Six o'clock came and went and still no-one arrived that Billy could positively identify. Gloria was getting more and more anxious. At seven o'clock Gloria excused herself and went to relieve herself, hurrying back so that Kenny could escort Billy to the toilet **.** She waited alone and gave a casual wave to Robyn Ballard as she found a table nearby.

This looks like a failure; all the men folk would have left for home and only a few couples could be anticipated at this late hour. When Billy comes back I think I'll call it a night.

In the toilet, Billy playfully tried to peer at Kenny's penis but Kenny sternly told him to stop. Unfazed, Billy started to direct his penis stream playfully around the urinal wall. When they had finished Billy said to Kenny,

'Looks like dat man ain't gonna show, eh? Can't you slip me a little gin in me lemonade Mr. Ken; I'se gett'n bored and Miss Gloria won't know. Please Mr. Ken.'

'No can do, Billy; you'll get me into trouble. Anyway you're underage and shouldn't even be in the club – and put your dick away. Leaving the rest room Kenny followed Billy back to their table, but half way to the table Billy stopped dead. In a few strides Ken caught up and faced Billy, whose color had drained from his face.

'Whats up mate; you look as white as a sheet; what's wrong?'

'Dat's him!' was all he said as he hurried back to the table.

'Miss Gloria ( _getting angry_ ) Dat's him. Dere, he's sitt'n over dere. Look!'

Both Gloria and Kenny ( _now alarmed)_ turned around to where Billy was pointing, which was at Robyn Ballard . . . and her husband Karl. Karl Ballard!

'I'se gonna kill the bastard ( _Kenny grabbed hold of him_ ) let me go Mr. Kenny let me at 'im.'

Kenny now held an almost maniacal Billy in restraint.

'Are you sure Billy; are you absolutely sure!'

'Yeah, ( _struggling_ ) yeah 'cause I'se sure Mr. Kenny; whose gonna forget a bugger whose beat ya half to death. I'se sure and If'n ya asks 'im to pull 'is cock out I'll tell yer what it looks like!'

For what seemed an eternity Kenny ( _still holding a squirming Billy_ ) and Gloria looked at each other, then without any hesitation Gloria got up and walked over to the Ballard's table.

'Hi Robyn: ( _pause_ ) look Karl, I'm gonna ask you to come down the station with me. Nothing serious but your name has come up in relation to an enquiry we're conducting and I'd like to get the matter sorted. Sorry, but it won't take too long.'

'What's wrong Gloria, ( _an alarmed Robyn asked)_ Why do you want to drag Karl down to the cops shop; whats he done?'

'I'd rather not go into that here, Robyn, we just . . .'

'Hey ( _Billy shouted so that all could hear)_ arsehole, I recognize you'se. I remember sucking yer cock and then you'se king hit me. If'n ya all wants proof, his cocks bin ring barked, with a large mouth piece an about ten inches of real hard meat. Cunt! If'n the cop's doan get you, us blackfellas will! C'mon . . . ( _ummp_ )'

Billy's diatribe was stopped by Kenny smothering his mouth.

'Karl! ( _Robyn demanded angrily_ ) What's he talking about? Was he performing oral sex on you? Please tell me what's going on!'

'Robbie, ( _pleading_ ) I don't know anything about this revolting accusation. I mean these black coons disgust me. You know that; this is just wrong and I'm gonna demand an apology from the police for humiliating me – you betcha.'

'Karl, _(Gloria being reasonable)_ I understand your anger, but if you'll just come with me peaceably, we can straighten out the matter. But you do understand I'm only doing my job.'

At the same time, Kenny was fighting a losing battle trying to restrain Billy, who eventually broke free and headed for Karl shouting,

'You mongrel; ( _shouting and livid with anger_ ) you'se called me a black coon. Well we'se good enough to suck all you white fella's cocks for a mere twenty dollars; now I'll make sure wes'll up the ante to forty dollars and that'll include all the goody good brothers at the school.'

At that he launched himself at Karl who took several steps backward and crouched to defend himself. Karl was saved by Kenny making a flying tackle on Billy that hurled him, to the ground. By this time a large crowd had gathered to witness the fracas. In the center Robyn Ballard sat with a shocked look on her face; Karl went white with either fear or anger; Gloria was hovering near Karl and Kenny had Billy pinned against the floor. Into this mess, the RSL manager arrived and promptly ordered all the combatants outside; outside of the club.

Gloria picked up Karl's glass and put it in an evidence bag that she always carried with her.

'Karl, come with me so we can get the whole matter settled soonest. Robyn, if you want you can follow in your car; but you'll have to wait at the station whilst we interview Karl. At this, Robyn started crying and Karl was doing his best to console her.

Poor Robyn, she doesn't know the shit Karl's in. I must make a special effort to comfort her when we're through with Karl. She's a lovely girl and doesn't deserve this.

Kenny, frog-marched Billy out to his car and took him to the police station to formally identify Karl as his assailant. Billy had to be restrained from assaulting the man; but his language was very colorful.

♂♂

Gloria had alerted Tom Fitzpatrick and it was in Cree's office that they interviewed Karl Ballard. Karl's beer glass was sent straight away to forensics to obtain any DNA. Prior to the interview, Karl had been asked to provide a sample for DNA purposes but not surprisingly, he refused.

Once the preliminaries were over Fitzpatrick asked,

'You have been identified by Mr. Billy Yorta as the man who assaulted him. What have you to say to that?'

'That's bullshit- total bullshit! He's lying. I mean, how can you take the word of an abbo against a white man . . . Huh? Christ almighty. Everyone knows me. Ask anyone around town, they'll tell you I'm a straight bloke who loves his family; I'm a member of Rotary and support the local footy club. It doesn't make sense.'

'Well, ( _from Fitzpatrick)_ we also have DNA derived from a urine and sputum sample that was taken off the boy's body by forensics. We have the glass you were using at the club and are now processing the DNA from that. If your sample agrees with the specimen taken off the boy we'll have conclusive evidence. Do you understand?

'Yes. ( _begrudgingly_ )

'And you still maintain your innocence?'

'Yes. ( _Uncomfortable_ )

'Do you want legal representation?'

'No, ( _slowly_ ) I've got nothing to hide!'

'Ok, then; Karl Ballard I'm arresting you for the attack on Billy Yorta which resulted in grievous bodily harm. You'll be placed in a cell overnight for arraignment before a magistrate on the morrow. Gloria, you can take him away.'

Once the formalities were concluded and Karl was placed in an overnight cell, Kenny took an agitated Billy back to Kenny's home for the night. Gloria tried to pacify Robyn who was in a state of shock.

'Robyn, can I drive you home; you must be exhausted and probably shocked by the turn of events? I guess you're anxious to get home to little Peter?'

'

'Thanks ( _in a daze)_ Gloria; I can't get my mind around all this. I know Karl; a wife gets to know what her man is or isn't capable off. And this just isn't Karl; he may be big but I've never seen him use violence . . . ( _choke_ ) and to suggest he was . . . ( _choking_ ) with that boy is just . . . _(her voice tailed off)'_

'I hope you're right, but right now the evidence is not going Karl's way. But when the DNA results come back the matter will be settled for once and for all. Just in case, you should look to getting legal representation; if you don't have anyone, I can give you the name of a decent bloke who is very good . . . and not extortionate.'

'Thanks, Gloria, I know you're only doing your job and appreciate the help. Oh God, what am I gonna tell little Peetie? He adores his father.'

'First things first; let's get you home. I'll have one of the boys drop your car back tomorrow.'

On the morrow, Karl was brought before a magistrate and was charged with inflicting Grievous Bodily Harm on Billy. He pleaded not guilty. Bail was set, and his case was fixed for two weeks hence.

♂♂

When the day came for Jeff to be discharged from hospital, he was wheeled from his room to where Kenny was waiting at the hospital entrance. Beforehand, Jeff had told Cynthia not to attend as he was going to go home with Kenny; hopefully forever. There seemed little point in arguing, because both Jeff and Cindy knew the marriage was over.

The drive home to Kenny's house was surreal; as if a long journey was coming to an end. Neither spoke; Jeff had his hand on Kenny's thigh and every so often when Kenny looked at Jeff he was favored with his beautiful half-smile.

'Jeff, ( _softly_ ) how do you feel?'

'I ( _hesitantly_ ) . . . I'm not sure; it's like all my fantasies are about to come true. I never dreamed that one day I would be going home with you as your lover; I am your lover . . . aren't I Kenny?'

'Jesus Jeff, don't be so insecure! 'Yes, yes and yes. This was always meant to happen Jeff; I really believe that. All those years ago; all those years ago when we became friends, defying hostility and threats, we were on a course that finds us here together, today. Is it fate? I don't know; I don't believe that there's a guiding force that controls our destinies but, as my grandmother used to say, right will always triumph over wrong. But, enough of that, all I know is two things; one, I love you very much; and two, I'm hard as hell.'

So they arrived at Kenny's home and . . .

There was no need for preliminaries as both men were consumed by a burning need. Kenny took Jeff's head in his hands and kissed him . . . a long kiss filled with passion. Slowly he undressed Jeff and let his eyes run over his beautiful body. Jeff's skin was pale but his torso was molded like a Greek hero. Slowly Kenny ran his hands over Jeff's chest, fondling his hard nipples before reaching down to undo his belt; within moments Jeff stood before him completely naked . . . and;

He was hard, painfully hard and as Kenny's lips found his penis, Jeff uttered a guttural sigh. For some moments Kenny continued to excite Jeff until he begged Kenny to stop.

Jeff had always fanaticized about seeing Kenny naked but when Kenny undressed and stood before him, he gasped at his beautiful physique. The years of arduous training had honed Kenny's body to sculpture like perfection. Shaking with desire, he began to service Kenny's hard and very wet erection.

As he was getting dangerously close, Kenny guided Jeff to his bed and then lay on top of him. Nature took command and soon they were grinding their loins against each other whilst kissing deeply. It was a situation where each man gave up his body to the pleasure of the other. Soon their grinding became frantic as they soared to an unstoppable climax. When they both came, it was with cries of desperate pleasure and relief; their juices combined as they each shuddered with the slow ebbing of their orgasms.

It was all over too soon.

In his fantasizing, Jeff had longed to feel Kenny deep inside him and the speed of their orgasms left him a little unfulfilled.

'Ken, that was great but I've always dreamed of you being deep inside me; will you do that for me . . . please?'

'Yes, but not until we've made a formal commitment to each other. To me penetration has to mean something than just pure lust; call me old-fashioned but that's the way I am.'

'Ok, ok . . . I guess I can wait. I've waited over twenty years so I can wait a little longer; right now, I'm gonna enjoy this wonderful feeling of freedom and contentment.'

They fell asleep and, on waking, all of Kenny's noble sentiments were swept aside. In an explosion of love and lust, Kenny penetrated deep inside Jeff and thus both their carnal needs were satisfied.

Eventually, they sat in the kitchen to talk. Kenny prided himself on making coffee and soon a glorious aroma filled the kitchen. Jeff looked around at what he hoped would be his future home, but it was the rear view of Kenny that had him mesmerized. When Kenny placed two steaming cups of his favorite blend, Jeff commented,

'Christ ( _earnestly_ ) I feel good. I suppose I shouldn't criticize Cindy for doing what she did. She deserves to feel the same fulfillment that I'm feeling right now.'

'Not my business, but perhaps you should start divorce proceedings as soon as possible; _(Jeff nodded to agree_ ) but we have another problem to consider; what to do about Billy . . . Any thoughts?'

'Best be truthful Ken. He'll just have to deal with it; sure at first he'll be a bit emotional, but in time he'll move on. Where is he now?'

'Back with his family; I told him I was going to pick you up from the hospital and that we'll be in touch tomorrow. I'm a little concerned because he's been prone to become quite emotional in the past. We'll have to do it softly.'

'I like softly.'

♂♂

Gloria and Tom Fitzpatrick were having coffee and analyzing the case as it stands. Gloria asked,

'When the DNA results come back do you think Ballard will stick to his innocent plea?'

'Depends ( _taking a sip of coffee_ ), depends on whether he's got a good legal mouthpiece. In some cases, even when the evidence is against a perp, they maintain their innocence, hoping to get a sympathetic jury. All it really does is create more problems by extending the torment; the downside is that, if the perp is eventually found guilty, the judge hands down a much harder sentence.'

'Yeah, ( _Gloria thoughtfully stirred her coffee_ ) I'm really concerned about his family, his wife and son Peter. Robyn will have to be the sole provider now; it won't be easy to raise a son in this town where everyone knows yer business. That's the trouble with small country towns; you don't have much privacy.'

'Hey Gloria, don't take it on personally. Ballard made his choice when he criminally assaulted the abbo kid, don't get too involved. If you're gonna become a detective you'll see a lot of tragedy, but you can't take it personal.'

'Yeah, I guess I am; but here's the thing, Ballard will probably get three to five years ( _Fitzpatrick nodded_ ) in a low security farm but the family has to live with the fall out every day; they become the real victims don't they?'

'Yep, you're right; you're a really decent person Gloria, I just hope you don't let the fallout destroy you personally. ( _Sigh_ ) I can't help thinking that if Cree was still here, he'd probably just issue a warning to Ballard and not charge . . .'

There was a loud knock on the door and a forensic technician came rushing in.

'Hey ( _breathless_ ) you're not gonna believe this – the DNA results are finished and they are positive to the sample . . .'

'( _Interrupting_ ) Well, ( _turning to Gloria_ ) that's it then; that means he can't deny he assaulted the abbo kid. We've got DNA proof as well as being physically identified . . .'

'No, No! You don't understand. Yes, the DNA is a match for the abbo boy but . . . it's also the same DNA that we extracted from the murdered brother err . . . Brother Simon.'

There was a numbing silence. Fitzpatrick and Gloria looked at each other in disbelief. Eventually,

'Are you sure?' ( _From both Fitzpatrick and Gloria)._

'( _Indignantly)_ Of course I'm sure! And before you ask . . . yes I've double checked; the two DNA samples are the same. No question of it!'

Then Fitzpatrick asked,

'How ( _slowly_ ) did this come about? What made you go looking at the murder DNA when you were only working on the assault specimen?'

'Well, ( _carefully_ ) when you get to work with many DNA samples you get a sense of those which are similar and those which are unique. The two DNA samples were in the latter category so it was easy to remember the likenesses. At first, I thought I was mistaken but after doing comparisons, I knew my hunches were right; they are the same, and I've had another scientist agree with me. It's been corroborated, for sure.'

'But, (a _stunned Gloria_ ) why would Karl Ballard want to kill Brother Simon; it doesn't make sense?'

'No, ( _equally_ _baffled Fitzpatrick_ ) I agree; it doesn't. We've always assumed that killing Brother Simon was related to the killing of Ruth Jalla; boy, now it's getting really bizarre'

'It's ridiculous Tom, it's absolutely ridiculous. Karl has always been hostile to the indigenous people; there has to be another reason.'

'Well, there's only one way to find out. I'm sorry Gloria, but you'll have to bring him in again.'

'Shit!'

♂♂

When Robyn Ballard opened the door, Gloria was stunned at her appearance. Dark circles around her eyes bespoke of a sleepless night and without makeup her face looked haggard and empty.

Christ, look at the poor woman; and I'm gonna make it worse.

'Hi Robyn; look is Karl around? We'd like him to come down to the Police station again because something has come up and we need to talk to him.'

Then Karl came to the door and demanded,

'What the fuck is going on? Can't you bastards leave me alone? What do you want now? Haven't you fucked up our lives enough?'

'Sorry Karl, but we need you to come down the station again; something has come up in relation to the charge and we need clarification. We won't take long.'

'No! I'm not saying another word. My lawyer has told me not to say anything more.'

'Please Karl, don't make it difficult. You have to come with us. If you don't come willingly, I'll have to arrest you again.'

'Karl! ( _Robyn sounded_ _distraught_ ) what's happening. What have you done now? Gloria; why do you want to arrest Karl again? I can't . . . ( _breaking down and sobbing hysterically)._

Little peter came rushing out and threw his arms around his mother.

'Mummee, mummee whats wrong? Please don't cry! Please mummee.'

'Karl . . .? Gloria encouraged.

'All right, all right I'll come. But I'm not gonna say anything without my solicitor being present! Stay here Peter and look after your mother.'

♂♂

Whilst waiting for Ballard's solicitor to arrive, Fitzpatrick and Gloria discussed how the interview would proceed.

'Gloria, we'll play the good cop/bad cop routine; you can be the good cop and I'll come on strongly. He's a tough nut and will probably not respond to a brutal approach. We don't want him to clam up; we want him talking. Once he starts talking leave the rest to me. Ok?'

Once they were settled and the formal identification of participants established, Gloria opened the innings,

'Karl, the DNA results are in and unfortunately there is a match. Your DNA is the same as the DNA taken off the young boy, Billy Yorta.'

'Bullshit! You've made a mistake.'

'So you still deny your involvement even though we have a DNA match and a physical identification by the victim. Which is incorrect?'

'All of it! It's all bullshit. You're taking the word of a blackfella over a decent white man. ( _His solicitor leaned over and whispered to Ballard_ ).

'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to discriminate against blackies but yer just plain wrong, wrong! I never bashed the little fucker up!'

'Don't shit _(Fitzpatrick harshly)_ us Ballard; we've got you dead to rights; if you persist with this stupid approach you'll go to trial and when, and I mean when found guilty, the judge will hand down a really savage sentence to you.'

Silence, as Ballard and Fitzpatrick glared at each other. Then Gloria,

'The Detective Inspector's right Karl, judges don't like accused wasting the courts time when so much evidence is against them. There's no wriggle room here Karl. Think about little Peter and Robyn; wouldn't it be better to get a lighter sentence so you can be out sooner. ( _His solicitor again leaned over and whispered in Ballard's ear.)_

Then Barry ( _the solicitor_ ) asked,

'So what's on the table here? Do we, or can we reach a deal?'

'Ummm . . . ( _Fitzpatrick musing thoughtfully_ ), there will have to be some time served. I can swing the prosecutor to two years in a prison farm. I'm sure both he and the judge will go along with that.'

'Then I ask that I be allowed to confer with my client privately to consider your offer.'

Gloria and Fitzpatrick waited outside whilst Barry the solicitor conferred with Ballard. Unfortunately, there was no see through window to view what was transpiring in the other room.

After a short interval, Tom and Gloria rejoined Karl and his solicitor. It was a different Karl Ballard. Gone was the hostility and aggression; he sat slumped forward with his hands on the table. It was a posture of defeat.

'We have talked the matter over and in view of the evidence I've recommended my client accept your offer. Of course ( _Fitzpatrick made an odd sound as if clearing his throat_ ), we'll need to have an agreement in writing . . .'

He was interrupted by the door opening and a uniform cop announcing,

'Detective Inspector, sorry but you're needed urgently outside!'

'Can't it wait; I'm in the middle . . .'

'Sorry sir, no! You must come now.'

Reluctantly Fitzpatrick got up and went with the cop outside. Gloria who knew what was afoot remained sitting. Around ten minutes passed and then Fitzpatrick re-entered the room. His face registered dismay and anger. Sitting down, he glared at Karl Ballard, letting the silence build up. Then,

'I have just been told that your DNA, as well as agreeing with the specimen taken from the young aboriginal boy, also matches DNA taken off the murdered priest . . . Brother Simon.'

Fitzpatrick's carefully orchestrated statement produced the desired impact.

The solicitor looked stunned; his mouth fell open with dismay. Karl Ballard went intensely white; he slumped back in the chair and appeared crushed. He was so much in shock that he became mute. It was his solicitor who recovered first.

'Are you sure? After all DNA matches can be wrong!'

'Oh ( _disdainfully_ ) come on Barry, you know that's bullshit. Sure, in the early days DNA profiling was sometimes inaccurate, but nowadays it's basically one hundred percent accurate; you know that.'

'Well where and how was the sample taken?'

'We extracted it from the sputum taken off the severed genitals of Brother Simon. We have a good specimen and it's been separately corroborated.'

( _Turning to Karl_ ) 'Karl, what do you have to say to the evidence?'

'I'm ( _slowly and unconvincingly_ ) not guilty; not guilty.'

'Again, I warn you Ballard not to waste our time; we've got you dead to rights on the bashing charge and now we have corroborated evidence that you killed Brother Simon. I mean the fact that your DNA is all over the dead man's severed penis means you were at the scene of the murder.'

"Karl ( _Gloria interjected)_ we know you killed Brother Simon but we don't know why! I mean if you had a valid cause that will alleviate your custodial sentence you have to tell us; Why Karl, Why?'

'I ( _shouting_ ) DIDN'T KILL THE FUCKER! LEAVE ME ALONE!

'BULLSHIT! BALLARD. We can go round and round like this. I've got all the time in the world. Just tell us why you killed the priest. If you had a good reason, then that's something I'm sure the court will take that into account.'

And so the interview progressed with Fitzpatrick pushing Karl (without harassing him). Karl kept up his statement that he didn't kill Brother Simon, but as he got tired, his entreaties became less forceful. Eventually, after about two hours Karl put his head in his hands and started sobbing. The room was silent except for Karl Ballard, now a broken man, sobbing his heart out.

They waited. Barry urged Karl to not say anything without talking to him first. But,

'No, No, No! . . . I done it! I killed the bastard. I killed the bastard and shoved his filthy catholic cock down his gob!

Then ( _softly_ ) Gloria,

Why Karl, why?

'Cause little Ruthie Jalla is ( _choke_ ) . . . was me daughter!

♂♂

A profound silence followed Ballard's shock announcement. Then Gloria recovered her composure,

'( _Softly_ ) you're daughter . . . Ruth Jalla was you're daughter! How?'

Karl didn't reply immediately . . . he sagged back against his chair and his eyes were unfocussed. He seemed to stare at Gloria and Fitzpatrick without seeing anyone. Eventually he emerged from his catatonic state and responded,

'Ruthie's mum and I became friends when we were young'uns at school; as we grew up I became attracted, dreadfully attracted to her in the usual way. She was very pretty and . . . well I just couldn't leave her alone. She felt the same about me . . . she did! We should've got married but, well, you know . . . it was socially unacceptable for darkies and whitees to marry. I ( _sob_ ) . . .'

They all waited for Karl to regain his composure . . . and then,

'We couldn't leave each other alone. I used to pick her up secretly and we'd drive somewhere safe where we wouldn't be seen. I . . . I really loved her; and she ( _choke_ ) loved me. However, we both realized our affair was doomed; we had to make an awful decision to stop seeing each other. We both cried; it was very painful, extremely painful . . .'

The atmosphere in the room became leaden; three pairs of eyes became riveted on Karl Ballard as he narrated his distressful story. Gloria couldn't help but feel sympathetic; it was the age-old scenario of two lovers torn apart by social conventions. When love happens . . . usually shit happens!

' . . . So we parted; she to marry into her tribe and me to marry into my tribe.'

'But ( _from Gloria_ ) your son Peter is older than Ruth, so . . .'

'( _Sigh_ ) that's right; we just kept seeing each other. Our love was too strong to extinguish. We kept seeing each other and eventually, well . . . along came Ruthie. At times I would take both Ruth and Peter out for a fun day, telling Robyn that I wanted to have good relations with the blackfellas. Robyn never cottoned on! Peter and Ruthie played well with each other and enjoyed the time I spent with them.'

'But Karl, what about Ruth's father; did he object or did he know that Ruth was your daughter?'

'No Gloria, he never suspected. If he had, I would have been in serious shit! No! I'm confident he didn't know anything.'

'So ( _Fitzpatrick_ ) let's get to when Ruth Jalla was murdered. How did you know it was Brother Simon?'

For several moments Karl just looked at Fitzpatrick and then looked down and seemed to be talking to himself . . .

'( _Softly_ ) . . . all the while I was preoccupied watching that little Peetie did not come under the clutches of those fucking pedophile priests; I was terrified that he would be abused and damaged for the rest of his life. I even warned that footballer bloke not to go near my boy; I owe him an apology. I never ever considered that little Ruthie would be in danger . . . never! So that when I heard she had been raped and murdered . . . I . . . went berserk. I knew it had to be one of the monsters up at the college; I mean we all knew what was going on, but we couldn't do or say anything, 'cause that bastard Cree was protecting them. Can you believe that? A copper protecting those fiends for whatever reason I don't know.'

'So you knew it was a priest, but how did you know it was Brother Simon?'

'Oh shit Detective, it wasn't rocket science. I picked that priest because he looked weak, and I thought if I roughed him up enough, he would lead me to the killer. I didn't know it would turn out to be him. He was so consumed with remorse that he spilled his guts when I confronted him; he knew he was gonna be found out and he wanted to confess. Initially all I wanted was bring him into the cops, but then I thought Cree would find some way to let him off. Then thought of what he did to my ( _choke_ ) sweet little daughter sent me into an incandescent rage. I went berserk, crazy . . . frenzied. I became a savage . . . an insane savage.'

Ballard stopped and the silent atmosphere in the room became oppressive; almost airless. Gloria found it difficult to breath. Eventually Fitzpatrick broke the crushing silence;

'Karl Marcus Ballard, I'm arresting you for the murder of. . .'

Billy

'I hears ya Mr. Ken; I hears ya, but I don't understand. I doan understand why yer telling me this?' I reckon its good you and Mr. Jeff are shacking up together; but ain't got nuth'n to do with me . . . an nuth'n to do with me an you to Mr. Jeff; has it?'

( _Sigh_ ) Billy . . . Jeffry and I are in love with each other and we're going to live as a married couple. It simply means that we're gonna be true to each other . . . and no one else.'

They were sitting in Kenny's kitchen; Billy sat at a table opposite Kenny, whilst Jeffry leaned against the kitchen bench top. As the meaning of Kenny's words sunk in, Billy became distressed. His eyes began to water – tears were not far away; he turned to look at Jeffry.

Mr.( _softly_ ). . . Mr. Jeff; is Mr. Ken right. You doan wanna see me no more? Please Mr. Jeff look at me and say it ain't true.'

'Billy . . . I . . . I ( _hoarsely_ ) . . . you're very, very special to me. Of course I still want t'see you. The moments we shared together are very precious, especially . . .'

'Billy, we both . . .'

'Please Mr. Ken; please don't interrupt, ( _turning towards Jeffry_ ) you knows hows I feel about ya. I love you Mr. Jeff, an don't tell me I'm too young to be in love. I enjoyed cuddlin' you. I loved the smell of yer hair and ( _choke_ ) the feel of dem little black hairs on yer arms. An when we were doing the sex and I'se inside ya, all I wanted to do was give ya pleasure. I weren't doin' it for meself, even tho I'se lovin' the feel of bein' inside ya; I loved the look on yer face liking the feel. An now yer tellin' me we can't do that anymore. I'se ( _sob_ ) hurtin' Mr. Jeff.'

And then the tears started. Billy started to sob; soon his shoulders began to heave as he let go all his pent up emotions. Jeff and Kenny were appalled at the depth of Billy's emotion; they just stood there feeling useless . . . and guilty.

'Billy, neither Jeff nor I want to hurt you . . .'

'Well, why ( _sob_ ) are ya? I'se got nowhares to go Mr. ( _sob_ ) Ken, you knows that. My people despise what I am. Dey doan like Sister Boys; we'se like to be expelled from the tribe. What then eh Mr. Ken, what then? Do I just go walkabout for the rest of me life or go into grubby men's toilets and do the sex. I become an old abbo bum sleep'n in the gutter an selling meself for money to buy food. Is this what I'se gonna be Mr. Ken? Is this how Billy's gonna end up?'

'No! ( _Sternly_ ) No you're not! You forget that you've got a great career in footy. I've told you that Essendon are interested in getting you as part of their rookie program. You've got my word on that. Also, I know of plenty gay indigenous footy players who you could make friends with. And remember Billy; you're a very attractive person. You're simply stunning and will have no trouble attracting gay partners. So let's forget all this self-pity; sure this is a blow to you but it's not terminal. You'll recover and get on with your life.'

'( _Sadly_ ) Ok for you to say Mr. Ken; now you'll have Mr. Jeff wid ya for a long time. I'se got nuth'n, nuth'n. I'se ( _getting up from the table)_ gonna leave now!'

And so Billy stood up and went and let himself out. Jeff and Kenny just stood there feeling utterly miserable.

'Shit!' said Jeff,

'Shit!' said Kenny.
Epilogue

Overlooking Waterford was a small hill, and on top of this was a cleared area for picnics, barbeques, and other entertainments.

About mid-day in late summer some people gathered for a social occasion. Soon the assemblage parted and anyone looking upwards would see two young men come together. After some exchange, they clasped hands and, it would seem, spoke to each other.

When they finished the gathering of friends burst into applause, raised very full glasses on high, and acclaimed the two young men . . . and then the party continued.

For Ken and Jeffry a furtive encounter many years ago had set their lives on a path that, after weathering many storms, had brought them safely into each other's arms.

###

