With the final Season 7 of Game of Thrones
soon upon us let’s take a quick look back
and recap the incredible journey that some
of our most beloved characters have been on
since the first season when it aired in 2011!
My God they were so young!
Just in case you’ve been living under a
rock somewhere, Game of Thrones is a HBO TV
series based off the A Song of Ice and Fire
books written by George RR Martin.
In a nutshell it’s a medieval style fantasy
drama with lots of boobs and murder (probably
gonna have to skip the boobs though to make
it Youtube safe) where different families
vie for power over the kingdom of Westeros.
Also there used to be all sorts of magic and
dragons about 300 years ago but things have
been pretty standard traditional since then.
Lets Go!
In the far far north where its real cold,
soldiers of the Night’s Watch, come across
a gruesome scene of murder and encounter the
living dead along with supernatural creature
called a White Walker – Regarded as Little
more than legend and tales to frighten children
this is pretty bad news, so this guy deserts
and heads South of the wall.
…Where he’s immediately captured by the
men of Winterfell (also still in the North)
and beheaded as a deserter from the Night’s
Watch.
The warden of the North and the guy in charge
round here is Ned Stark, he’s basically
a real solid guy who follows the rules and
takes responsibility but is oblivious to this
incredible threat from beyond the wall because
he’s too busy dealing with his family.
Him and his wife Catelyn have 5 kids, Robb
the eldest and Heir to Winterfell, Sansa who
likes cakes and sewing, Bran who loves to
climb stuff, Arya who’s the Tomby and Rickon
who’s not really important.
Oddly despite being such an upstanding bloke
Ned also has a bastard son called Jon Snow
who Catelyn hates even though he’s a good
kid.
Also Ned’s in charge of looking after another
lad called Theon Greyjoy.
He’s a real prick.
Now don’t worry if they all look the same
and you can’t tell them apart it’s not
that important just yet.
Out and about they find the corpse of a Stagg
and a Direwolf with a litter of 6 living pups
that are adopted by each child, with Jon getting
the albino quiet one.
Meanwhile down in Kings landing the hand of
the king, i.e. the guy that does the actual
work has died, and so King Robert Baratheon
travels up to Winterfell to offer the position
to his old brother in arms Ned.
He brings his Queen and her family along who
are all a bunch of Lannisters.
The Queen’s twin brother Ser Jaime, her
other brother Lord Tyrion, Her Kids Prince
Joffrey and young Myrcella and Tommen, some
a more complex but for now you can just assume
they’re all a bunch of assholes except Tyrion.
To make things worse Catelyn’s sister Lysa
was married to the former hand of the king,
and she receives a letter basically saying
he was poisoned by the Lannisters.
But no proof for now so with a few snide remarks
everyone plays nice over dinner and most of
them go out hunting together the next day.
We’re gonna come to back that.
Now across the narrow sea there is a completely
separate story going on.
You see King Robert took the throne from the
Mad King Aerys Targaryen, and two of his kids
are kind of on the run in exile.
Cruel Viserys and his uber hot sister Daenerys.
I can say that about the show version because
the actress is over 18, in the books it’s
not cool.
Basically Viserys is gonna marry Dany off
to a savage warlord king called Khal Drogo,
all of which is made possible by this rich
merchant called Magister Illyrio, so that
they might take advantage of Drogo’s huge
mounted army in the future and retake the
Crown in Westeros.
Dany’s wedding gift include some fossilised
dragon eggs and when she gets married she’s
pretty much terrified of this new culture
which makes this seem horribly rapey.
Right so back over in Westeros up at Winterfell
most of the 2 families, the Starks and the
Lannisters are out hunting but Brandon stays
at home to climb stuff because it’s his
favourite thing to do.
But unfortunately it turns out that when nobody’s
about, Queen Cersei and her brother Jamie
like to bang each other!
Bran sees everything.
Jamie decides to keep the incest secret by
pushing Bran out the window but the kid doesn’t
die, he just goes into a coma.
Everyone is real sad about this apparent climbing
accident although Tyrion does have to forcibly
convince Prince Joffrey to not be shit and
go offer his sympathies.
And Cersei and Jamie feel super awkward about
the idea that Bran might yet live.
Ned Sansa, Arya and his guard are heading
South with the King to join him as the Hand
in King’s Landing, while Catelyn stays to
look after Bran and Rickon with Robb put in
charge.
Jon can’t go so instead he decides to head
North with his uncle Benjin and join the Night’s
Watch on the wall to defend the realm from
wildlings.
Jamie gives him some shit for this but he’s
really only telling it how it is, and Tyrion
decides not to join the rest of the Lannisters
down South immediately, but go take a look
at the wall himself on a tourist visa.
Jon gives his favourite sister Arya a small
sword called Needle and says bye to Bran despite
Catelyn’s frosty reception.
He asks Ned about his real mystery mother
but Ned promises to talk about that next time
they meet.
Ooo Yikes.
On the road North Tyrion gives Jon some good
advice on seeing things how they really are
because the Night’s Watch is also made up
of criminals given a second chance on the
Wall and its gonna be a hard life.
Blimey although the view should be pretty
good.
Back at Winterfell an assassin turns up to
finish off Bran but his Direwolf protects
the boy and kills him.
Catelyn is now totally pro-wolf and the Starks
deduce that Bran must have seen something
in the tower that nearly cost him his life.
The assassin’s knife is a high quality Valyrian
steel blade and seems to lead back to the
Lannisters, so Catelyn decides to travel incognito
to King’s Landing to warn Ned.
Speaking of which, as the King’s party make
their slow way back down it becomes apparent
that sweet prince Joffrey really is a piece
of shit who bullies a common boy to show off
and after taking a knock ends up in a rage
swinging at Arya, threatening to gut her.
Nymeria her Direwolf thinks otherwise of the
situation but the problem is that you can’t
bite a Prince these days without consequences.
Later that night Joff lies to everybody about
how it all went down and Sansa, who just wants
everything to be nice and pretty keeps quiet
and doesn’t back up Arya’s version of
events.
Cersei demands the wolf dead but Arya already
made Nymeria run away so Cersei makes Ned
kill Sansa’s wolf instead!
What the fuck!
Also that common boy gets slaughtered by the
Prince’s own bodyguard, the Hound, but we’re
more sad about the wolf.
Heading out from Pentos over in the Grass
sea, Dany seems to take strength from her
stone dragon eggs whilst…God that’s not
okay come on!
And as the Khalasar army journeys about, Viserys
and her are joined by a banished Western Knight
called Ser Jorah Mormont.
Dany starts to learn the language a bit and
has a bedslave teach her ways of lovemaking
to help her relationship with Drogo.
This actually works and she starts to feel
a bit better about things when she’s on
top.
Ned arrives at King’s Landing and Jamie
reminds him that the King Shits and the Hand
wipes, Ned returns by bringing up the fact
Jaime is the Kingslayer, the guy who stabbed
the old mad King when he should have been
protecting him, and so Jamie adds that this
is the very spot where the previous mad King
had Ned’s father and brother horribly killed.
So in the context Kingslaying really wasn’t
such a dick move after all.
Then he gets a crash course in bureaucracy
with the small council, Lord Petyr Baelish
master of coin, Grand Maester Pycelle, Lord
Renly Baratheon the King’s younger brother
and Varys, the master of whispers.
So it turns out the King has been spending
extravagantly like a madman and the crown
is in big debt.
Cersei gives horrible advice to her horrible
son and tells him he must marry Sansa to lock
down the North legitimately but can do whatever
he wants otherwise.
Because everybody that’s not us, is our
enemy.
And meanwhile Sansa and Arya still aren’t
getting on so Ned reminds Arya that they need
to stick together when they are surrounded
by danger.
He also gets her a swordmaster to teach her
the Water Dance style and this guy Syrio Forel
is quite the character.
King Robert can be pretty mean guy when drinking
and even he reminds Jamie about killing the
previous King despite it stopping Aerys burning
down the city.
But never doubt Jaime can fight and he does
have the respect of some of the other Kingsguard
too.
Much to her surprise Littlefinger meets Catelyn
as she enters the city low-key to meet Ned
because they used to be old friends back when
they were kids.
Varys knows all the secrets it seems but it’s
Littlefinger that claims the dagger meant
to kill Bran belonged to Tyrion Lannister.
Who by the way is enjoying his lovely visit
to the wall which is run by Commander Mormont
(Jorah’s ded), a great deal more than Jon
Snow is, who’s pretty much getting hazed
solid by his instructor.
And so even Tyrion has to step in to stop
a beat down before reminding Jon that they
haven’t all had his upbringing and that
everybody might want to get along instead.
And much to their credit they all seem to
take his advice.
Benjen reminds Tyrion that it’s not the
Wildlings North of the wall that he and his
rangers fear, it’s the threat of other darker
things, but Tyrion doesn’t buy it even when
Maester Aemon and the commander becry the
need of the Night’s Watch for more trained
men and support.
So Tyrion takes a midnight piss from the top
of the Wall because YOLO and leaves back for
the South having earned Jon’s respect.
Bran wakes from his coma and can’t use his
legs anymore, but he also can’t remember
what happened so for now he just has to listen
to old Nan’s stories about fear and Whitewalkers
and the Long Night when Kings were frozen
in their castles.
While over in the Khalasarr as they head for
Vaes Dothrak, Jorah tells Dany that Khals
are often given slaves from big cities as
gifts in order to stop the cities from actually
getting plundered and Dany orders everybody
to stop so she can think on this and take
a walk.
Her stupid cruel brother Viserys flies off
the handle at her for being given an order
when he’s the King to be, and looses a lot
of credit with the rest of the crowd, even
with Jorah.
You see unlike this dick, Dany is doing her
best to learn the language and embrace the
culture, and Ser Jorah is a travelled man
who has earned the respect of the Dothraki,
but once he hears news that Dany is pregnant,
he suddenly has to leave for Qohor without
explanation.
Bran starts having weird dreams where he’s
pestered by a 3 eyed raven, but has to get
carried down to the Hall to say hi to Tryion
and Yoren of the Night’s Watch as they pass
through Winterfell en route to King’s Landing.
Robb gives him a frosty reception but Tryion
draws up plans for a special saddle that can
allow Bran to still ride a horse.
On his way out Tryion stops to give Theon
a load of shit for essentially being a Greyjoy
hostage and a Stark lackey before he goes
off to get laid.
On the Wall there’s a fat new recruit Sam
Tarley the coward, but Jon’s not into hazing
the new kids anymore and on the Wall itself
Sam explains he’s always been craven to
the point that his own dad threatened to have
him killed if he didn’t join the Night’s
Watch.
And although some of the rougher new recruits
still need reminding that it’s not cool
to bully each other anymore, the point seems
to get across.
Viserys and Dany reach Vaes Dothrack, The
horselord city, where Viserys talks shit and
goes on about how this is all his army.
Jorah tells Dany that if the Dothraki ever
made it to Westeros they could fight King
Robert in the field but aren’t very good
at sieges against castles.
Viserys talks big to the bed slave about Dragons
forging the Iron Throne, while she mentions
seeing weird things like pirates and people
who can change their faces (Ooo we’re gonna
get back to that later) But Viserys spoils
the mood and he then decides to go beat on
Dany a bit for basically giving him gifts!
But she’s finally had enough of his shit
and slaps him one telling him to back off.
So Jorah and Dany call it as it is, Old V-dog
is not fit to rule and couldn’t lead the
Dothraki army even if they were given to him.
Back In the throne room Sansa is still pretty
raw about Ned killing her Direwolf but Ned
is even less happy as he struggles with the
small council and their bureaucratic B.S.
He enquires after the death of the last hand
Jon Arryn and looks into the book he was studying
before his suspicious sudden illness.
Littlefinger explains to Ned that everyone
has spies everywhere, and hints that Ned is
onto something and offers up further information.
But he does also warn Ned that distrusting
him was the wisest thing he’d done so far.
So Ned checks on a Smith’s apprentice called
Gendry who Jon Arryn had also spoken to, and
it looks like the former Hand had been taking
an interest in all of King Robert’s bastard
children.
There’s a tourney being set up to celebrate
Ned’s new position by command of the King,
and Littlefinger dials up the creepy to perv
on Sansa for a bit, but one of the guys Ned
wanted to question in relation to John Arryn’s
death is ‘accidentally’ killed by Ser
Gregor Clegane, this dude is the Mountain
that rides.
He’s massive and dangerous and the older
brother of the Hound.
Things spice up at the inn where Catelyn heading
back up North comes across Tyrion heading
back down south, and on suspicion of trying
to have Bran murdered she has him taken hostage
by a mixed bag of local men loyal to the Starks.
Tyrion’s all like- what?
Day two of the tourney and Ser Loras Tyrell
gives Sansa a rose even though she’s packing
the wrong type of junk for his liking, and
he then jousts against the Mountain who loses
due to his horse getting the scent of a mare.
But this guy is mental.
So he cuts off his horses head, and then throws
a beat-down on the Knight of Flowers until
his brother the Hound jumps in to stop him.
These guys have beef, and it was Ser Gregor
who burned the Hound’s face as a kid.
The Mountain storms off but Ser Loras praises
the Hound and he clearly doesn’t know how
to feel about being the good guy for once.
Loras later tells Renly that maybe he should
be the next King while they get it on, and
Rob and Cersei both agree they hate each other
and that their 17 years of marriage has been
miserable.
Meanwhile Catelyn’s mixed group of random
knights and sellswords are taking Tyrion over
to her syster Lysa in the Vale to be tried.
Tyrion mentions that Lysa is a bit weird these
days but they’re suddenly attacked by wild
mountain clansmen.
Instead of making a run for it he helps defend
Catelyn and it also turns out one of the sellswords
travelling with them is one hell of a killer.
So they just about reach the Vale and yeah
Lysa is pretty weird breastfeeding a son way
too old for it ah that’s gross!
And they slap Tyrion in one of the sky cells
Down South Varys confides in Ned that Jon
Arryn was poisoned, administered by the page
who then got knighted and killed, but doesn’t
say on who’s orders.
Looks like the former Hand had started asking
the wrong questions.
But Varys’ motives are clouded.
Because Arya is off chasing cats as part of
her sword training and she ends up in an old
part of the castle with dragon skulls and
overhears and Varys and Magister Illyrio - Talking
about the imminent war between Starks and
Lannisters, but that it’s happening all
too soon For Drogo’s army and the Targaryen
kids to make use of it.
Then Littlefinger and Varys have a who knows
more secrets than who showdown, and it’s
casually interrupted by Renly because Robert
is fuming.
He’s just heard that Dany is now pregnant
and could be a threat to his kingdom, and
it turns out Ser Jorah has been feeding the
crown information in hopes of a pardon for
his own crime of selling slaves.
Ned thinks child murder is a dick move but
Robert really hates Targaryens and the council
agree that the girl should die for the sake
of the greater good.
Ned quits and is on his way out, but Jaime
has gotten wind of Catelyn kidnapping his
brother, so he steps up and kills Ned’s
number 2 guy and oh shit - It’s on!
These two are both powerful swordsmen going
at it but then this random prick sStabs Ned
in the leg and spoils the moment for Jaime.
So Jamie has left the capitol and Ned’s
in bed with a broken leg and the King demands
Tyrion’s release before things get worse.
He reinstates Ned back as the Hand and goes
off hunting to clear his mind – while he’s
out there though his Lannister squire is making
sure that he stays suspiciously drunk.
In Bran’s dreams the three-eyed raven seems
to want to show him something but Hodor, the
big dumb friendly houseboy who can only say
his own name -asterisk, turns up with that
special saddle so he goes off into the woods
for a ride with Robb and Theon.
Theon tries to convince Robb to go to war
with the Lannisters but bran is accosted by
wildlings who try to steal his horse.
Stark fights and Greyjoy shoots killing all
but one who they take as a prisoner.
Up in the Vale in the castle Eyrie Tyrion
talks his way out of the cell to stand before
an audience and demand trial by combat in
response to the allegations.
In a hall surrounded by enemies everybody’s
up for killing a dwarf, But Tyrion’s risky
bet pays off when the sellsword who was travelling
with them steps up for sake of Lannister gold.
This guy Bronn is a mean lean killing machine
and wears down Lysa’s champion before the
kill.
The two of them say their goodbyes and start
the dangerous journey home.
In the sacred city of Vaes Dothrak, Dany is
really getting into the idea of heating up
those stone dragon eggs and realises that
as a Targaryen she’s kinda immune to fire.
She then eats a whole horse’s heart in ritual
to prove the worth her unborn son.
Who the witches now claim will be the stallion
that mounts the world.
Viserys gets super jelly and tries to sell
her Dragon eggs to buy another army.
Jorah says no, so instead he gets really drunk,
demands that Khal Drogo win him the crown
he was promised and threatens Dany’s unborn
baby.
This doesn’t go down so well so Drogo gives
him a crown molten gold right then and there.
It seems that since leaving King’s Landing
the Mountain has been raping and pillaging
the Riverlands with his men, and the smallfolk
seek justice from Ned while the King is away.
Ned sends Lord Beric Dondarrion and a force
of men to bring him to justice, but he knows
that it’s probably head of House Lannister,
Lord Tywin who’s really giving the orders.
Joffrey plays the charming card on Sansa who
laps it up and promises she will be queen
someday.
But sensing danger and impending war Ned tells
his girls they’re going home.
Sansa blurts out about wanting golden haired
children with Joffrey and the penny drops.
That book Jon Arryn was reading was all about
Baratheon lineage, describing black hair every
time just like Gendry and the King’s other
bastards.
Looks like these Lannister gold children are
not the King’s own blood after all.
In the field Lord Tywin Lannister gives his
son Jamie grief for leaving Ned alive, but
also gives him command of half of their forces
in the upcoming war, as family name is everything
to Tywin.
Stupid old honourable Ned tells Cersei that
he knows about her incest children and that
King Robert will go berserk when he’s back
from the hunt.
Instead of fleeing the city however the Queen
is just like yeah so what, I play the game
of thrones to win or die.
On the wall they’ve passed their training.
So the new recruits say their vows in front
of a heart tree and become Brothers of the
Night’s Watch.
But instead of being made a ranger John is
made a steward to the Lord Commander.
He really wanted to scout beyond the wall
because Jon’s Uncle Benjen is missing now
from a Northern ranging, with only his horse
returning.
But Sam tells him to wise up and realise he’s
likely being groomed for command.
Once their vows are done though his direwolf
Ghost finds the dead bodies of two other Black
Brothers who also went out with Benjen.
On their travels the Khalsar visits a market,
and Jorah in secret receives his pardon from
the crown.
But he’s really into Dany by now and despite
being a spy doesn’t want her dead.
So when a suspicious travelling merchant offers
Dany a cask of poisoned wine, Jorah makes
him take a sip of it first, saving her life.
And oddly it’s this very assassination attempt
that angers Drogo enough to finally turn his
wandering army around and head back towards
Westeros to take the crown in revenge.
Robert is back from the hunt, but he was so
drunk that he got mortally wounded by a boar
and now he’s dying.
He decrees that Ned be in charge of the Kingdom
when he’s gone until Prince Joffrey comes
of age.
On a technicality Ned actually writes down
‘rightful heir’ instead of Joffrey and
Ser Bariston Selmy, commander of the Kingsguard
laments not protecting the king.
Renly advises Ned to make a move against Cersei
immediately.
But Ned is stubborn and all about the rules
and knows that Stannis, Renly’s older and
oddly absent brother is next in line as King.
So he sends word to Dragonstone to tell Stannis
it’s time to step up.
Everyone tells Ned he’s being naïve, and
Ned mentions that the royal children are bastards,
and that he needs Littlefinger’s help in
making sure the City Guard are on his side
when the shit goes down.
Problem - Littlefinger still fancies Catelyn
and holds a grudge against the Starks since
the days of his childhood, a guy like him
can’t win by the rules of swords, but can
win by screwing over people with commerce
and politics, so he agrees to have Ned’s
back -
But when the time comes and Ned and his men
step into the throne room to declare Joffrey
a bastard without claim, the City Guard turn
around and kill his own men, with Ned being
taken prisoner.
So things didn’t really go down as planned.
Across the capitol Lannisters are suddenly
Killing Starks, and Sansa runs for her room
where she’s caught by the Hound.
Arya is in the middle of a sword fighting
lesson however and Syrio Forel isn’t convinced
about handing her over.
So he gives her his final lesson and sweeps
up the trash before sacrificing himself.
Like if you cry every time.
In the chaos and turmoil, Arya grabs Needle,
kills a stable-boy and escapes the castle
into the city by a secret passage she found
when chasing cats.
Ned’s slapped in the black cells and all
his men are dead.
And In a dick move Cersei and the new King
dismiss the Barriston Selmy from the Kingsguard,
and he’s not impressed.
Renly too has fled the capitol, but Cersei
and the rest of the small council coheres
Sansa into writing a letter to Robb telling
him to come down and swear loyalty to King
Joffrey.
Robb’s gonna come South alright, but he’s
going to take the armies of the North with
him.
He callshis banners of the North together
and Greatjon Umber takes a little bit of convincing
to follow the young Lord, but after a wolf
bite or two becomes Robb’s staunchest supporter.
So he goes to war technically leaving Bran
in charge at Winterfell.
Their wildling captive Osha, has kind of fallen
into place working round the castle and talks
to Bran about truths and hearing the old gods
and the winter threat beyond the wall.
In the Castle Eyrie Catelyn is unhappy that
Lysa won’t back her up with the knights
of the Vale if the Starks go to war.
She seems to fear conflict with the Lannisters
and is essentially useless.
And mean whilst heading home from there, Tyrion
and Bronn are accosted by the same mountain
clansmen who gave them grief on the way in,
but Tyrion’s power is his wit and his words
and he manages to talk them into escorting
them safely back to the Lannister army, promising
them the weapons that they need to take the
Vale for themselves.
Because screw those guys.
On the Wall there’s something odd about
those ranger corpses found near the Heart
Tree.
The odd thing being that they’re actually
undead.
They rise up in the middle of the night and
attack Jon and the Lord Commander.
They don’t die by traditional means but
they do thankfully burn well.
Across the sea Drogo’s Khalasar is on the
warpath now, and heading back West, and it’s
raping and pillaging and taking slaves to
sell on to pay for ships.
Dany doesn’t like the cruel truth of this
and puts a stop to the raping by claiming
all of the women.
Drogo is amused but some of his men aren’t,
so he kills this mug and takes a wound that
one of the spared women, a healer by trade,
offers to patch up in gratitude to Dany.
Catelyn meets up with Robb’s army in the
Riverlands planning for war, and Tyrion meets
up with Tywin’s army to say hi to his dad
and uncle, bringing the mountain clansmen
along with him.
Tywin never misses an opportunity and gets
the clansman to fight for him alongside Tyrion
in the upcoming battle.
Robb is marching South but needs to cross
the river at The Twins.
This place is owned by the vulture Walder
Frey, who is technically on their side but
really only looks out for himself.
He agrees to the crossing and joining the
war but only so long as Robb marries one of
his many daughters.
A shit deal for Robb but off they cross in
full force.
For protecting him against zombies the Lord
Commander gives Jon with his Valyrian steel
sword, but Jon finds out about his brother
going to war for his father and wants to desert
and help.
Thankfully his other new brothers of the watch
convince him to stay and follow duty.
And it turns out Maester Aemon was in fact
Targaryen Royalty who also chose the hard
path of remaining on the Wall.
Tyrion and the tribesmen are going in the
front lines and it seems that Tywin isn’t
too worried about Tyrion’s survival in general
which kills his appetite.
It comes back pretty quickly though as Bronn
has found him a cheeky little whore called
Shae who has a quick wit to match his.
But beware like Bronn the sellsword this is
very much a business situation for her.
Next day they join the battle.
Tyrion gets knocked out pretty early but it
turns out they won.
But this is because it wasn’t the full Stark
army heading down to fight but just 1/10th
of the force as a diversion.
Robb had led the rest of the force in a surprise
attack that took Jamie Lannister’s force
and the Kingslayer himself captive.
Turns out that despite being treated Drogo’s
wound did not heal at all and has in fact
festered.
He falls from his horse, and it’s too late
even for the healer to help him now.
She does further mention however that she’s
also trained in blood magic as a Magei.
Desperate, Dany consents to some dark sacrifice
shit and this really splits the crowd forcing
Jorah to Kill a Bloodrider while Dany suddenly
goes into premature labour.
Jorah unwisely takes her to the Magei for
further help.
In the black cells Ned wants to stick to the
honourable truth but Varys convinces him to
recant his accusations against Joffrey because
making sure that his children aren’t harmed
is a kind of honourable thing to do too.
So Ned aggress to say he was wrong for the
sake of family.
Arya is living like a hobo in the city and
joins the crowd to see Ned, Cersei and the
King put on a show, with Ned as the traitor
villain.
He spies his daughter and manages to put Yoren
on to her in passing and Cersei and co.
promise Sansa that they’ll let Ned live
for his confession and join the Nights Watch.
But Joffrey is cruel to the core and demands
his head anyway.
Yoren makes Arya look away when it happens,
and everyone including us come to realise
that anyone can die in this show.
Yoren is rough but his gameplan is to pretend
Arya is a boy entering the Night’s Watch
and to sneak her back to Winterfell.
‘Arry’ will be travelling up with the
other criminals but Gendry has been sent to
join the watch too.
In Bran’s dream the three-eyed raven leads
to the crypts, so he real life heads down
with Osha and talks of dreaming of Ned being
there.
Seems Rickon had the same dream too, before
Maester Luwin receives official word of his
death.
Catelyn and Robb also grieve at the loss of
Ned, swearing vengeance on the Lannisters.
But Catelyn wants to make sure Sansa and Arya
are back safe too.
Word on the street is that Renly is now also
now laying claim to the throne, ahead of his
older brother Stannis.
But while they’re all together the Northern
Lords suggest Robb might as well be King of
North, essentially breaking Westeros into
two kingdoms.
In captivity Jamie admits pushing Bran out
the window but doesn’t say exactly why.
Tywin and his war council talk of how both
Baratheon brothers are now claiming the throne
as next in line, and Tyrion adds that all
chances of peace with the North (who are now
winning), were ruined when Joff decided to
kill Ned.
Tywin tells Tyrion that he might have underestimated
his other son and that he’s sending him
to King’s Landing as Hand of the king to
basically run things and keep Joffrey and
Cersei in line.
But adds he’s not allowed to take his whore
along with him, because these some bad history
there.
But screw that- Tyrion is gonna take her anyway.
In the capitol we get an odd insight into
Grand Maester Pycelle not truly being as old
and doddering as he might appear.
And another moment between Varys and Littlefinger,
they both separately seem to be orchestrating
some big secret schemes.
Meanwhile Joffrey is having fun cutting off
people’s tongues, but stops for a moment
to force Sansa to come and take a look at
the severed head of her father.
Mother says he’s still to marry Sansa and
shouldn’t hit her.
So he has the Kingsguard hit her instead.
It looks like she’s about to push Joffrey
off the ledge but the Hound intervenes making
it seem to tend to her cut.
Commander Mormont reports of talk of the wildlings
North of the wall forming a massive army,
and even more tell of the dead walking.
This shit is far more important than Kings
going to war, so he announces he’s leading
the Night’s Watch North into wildling territory
to discover what’s going on.
Dany wakes from the awful night and Jorah
tells her she lost the child.
The Magei adding that it was born monstrous
and twisted, a lizard boy full of grey worms.
This was the price of death to pay for Drogo’s
life.
But it gets worse, all of the Khalasar army
except the stragglers have left, and Drogo
is technically alive but otherwise braindead
and sightless.
The sorceress admits that this was all part
of her plan to stop Dany’s child being the
Stallion that mounts the world, and saving
countless people from future war.
So Dany in tears puts Drogo out of his misery
and builds a pyre to burn the body along with
the Sorceress, her eggs and herself.
Jorah pleads for her not to commit suicide,
but that’s not actually Dany’s plan.
Through the fires of sacrifice she emerges
unscathed, her eggs all hatched, and surrounded
by three Dragons.
Oh my God!
So Ned’s dead, the North is at war with
the South, and as well as Stark V Lannister
Robert’s two other brothers are somewhere
claiming the throne as well.
Joffrey rules with cruelty keeping Sansa hostage,
and Tyrion heading over for damage limitation.
Jamie is captured and Arya is pretending to
be a boy amongst criminals.
While Jon is marching North of the wall and
thanks to Dany, Dragons live once again.
