 
# Phoenix Rising

By  
Michelle Stevens

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Stevens  
Smashwords Edition
Phoenix Rising

Copyright © 2014 by Red Phoenix

Smashwords Edition

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

michellestevensauthor@hotmail.com

Edited by Jennifer Roberts-Hall

Final proof by Rebecca J Cartee

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

## Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

The Phoenix Rises

A New Connection

First Impressions

Crash and Burn

The Morning After

It's Over or Is It?

Connect with Michelle on Substance B
_The Phoenix is fated to burst into flames, being reduced to ashes from which_ _another Phoenix will rise, fresh and new, to live again._

##    
The Phoenix Rises

"You're the best teacher ever!" Kyle cried enthusiastically, flashing a toothless grin as he covered his cupcake with a huge heap of frosting. I'd given my first graders instructions to ice their cupcakes to look like one of the phases of the moon and was startled to see my principal come through the door just as they began the messy venture.

I watched Mrs. Russell walk over to a table of students and ask what they were doing. I blushed when I heard Bobby whisper matter-of-factly to his classmate, "I don't think there was a moon when the principal was a kid."

If Ms. Russell heard his declaration, she showed great restraint because she didn't even crack a smile. Instead, she headed straight over to me, wearing the grave expression I'd grown accustomed to. Under her breath, she complimented, "Clever way to celebrate your birthday with your students." I turned to hide my grin from the class.

Even though Mrs. Russell constantly wore a severe expression, she knew all 600 students by their full names and remembered small details concerning each of her staff members.

"I'm a little surprised you didn't take the day off, Miss Lynn."

I shrugged my shoulders. "You know me. I practically live at this school."

"Yes, well today I give you permission to miss the staff meeting." She looked at me kindly. "Even teachers need a life."

I couldn't believe my luck. Normally I wouldn't have cared, but I was excited about tonight! The new guy I was dating hinted that he had a wonderful surprise for my birthday. The fact I even had a date was extraordinary. I'd suffered a dry spell since moving to Colorado, and I was certain my last relationship had a lot to do with it.

My heart still ached from the betrayal; the smug look on my fiancé's face when I walked in on the two of them, my heart shattering to pieces while I stood before them lying naked in his bed... the ending of our dream. However, that was two long years ago, and I was ready to jump back in. After the final bell rang, I waved to my last student and raced home.

It didn't take much time to tidy up my one bedroom apartment, which left plenty of time to primp and dress. Since it was my birthday, I decided to go all out. I put on my short silver dress that went exceptionally well with my black legwarmers and new high heels. I poofed up my bangs to perfection and spent almost an hour crimping my long red hair. My best friend, Angie, had given me large silver hoop earrings for my birthday and they complemented the dress perfectly. I smiled at my reflection, trusting Jim would be pleased.

I'd met my new beau a couple of weeks earlier at a dance club. Since that night, he surprised me with small romantic gifts before each date. I couldn't help wondering what he had in store for my twenty-fourth birthday. I'd envisioned a big bouquet of two dozen roses in honor of my twenty-four years or dinner at one of the fancier restaurants in Denver followed by a night of dancing afterwards.

When Jim arrived, I was shocked to see a stack of cardboard boxes instead. He grinned as he brought box after box into my apartment. I had no idea what his surprise was, but it certainly wasn't the romantic gift I was hoping for.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked with child-like enthusiasm. I shook my head rapidly with a plastered smile on my face. "It's a computer, Beth!"

My smiled faltered. I was uncomfortable with such an expensive gift, and it wasn't even something I wanted. I actively avoided computers. They were big, complicated and cold – I had no interest in owning one. "You shouldn't have," I said lamely.

"Beth, it's the 80's. You have to keep up with the times." He pointed to all the boxes, claiming proudly, "I got you the best. This baby's got a 450 megabyte hard drive, 8 megabits of memory and an internal modem." Jim looked at me expectantly as if I should be impressed, but I just stared at him. It was all Greek to me.

I was afraid he'd spent thousands on the darn thing. "A fancy computer, Jim? Don't you think that's overkill for a girl who doesn't even know how to turn one on?"

His eyes sparkled when he answered, "Having a computer is the best thing in the world. You'll see!"

He insisted I sit as he began taking parts out of the numerous boxes, leaving styrofoam and cardboard scattered everywhere. My pristine living room became a trash heap in a matter of minutes. Cleaning up the mess was so _not_ what I wanted to do on my birthday and I pouted. Jim was oblivious.

He was too caught up in examining and admiring all the pieces. Once he had it all laid out, Jim began assembling the complicated beast. I had to admit, the smile on his face was adorable. He genuinely seemed thrilled to be building the stupid computer for me.

I looked him over carefully as he worked. Jim reminded me of an elf from the series _The Lord of the Rings_. He was a few inches taller than I was, with a thin face, large blue eyes and a lean physique. I couldn't help giggling as he toiled. Every time Jim bent over to fiddle with the computer, his long bangs fell into his eyes. Without fail, he'd brush back the clump of blond hair in irritation, only to have it slide back down to the same place.

"Need some barrettes there, Jim? I've got a couple I could spare."

He looked up at me and scowled, but went right back to work. A full two hours later he finally announced, "There you go, Beth." He pointed to the power button proudly and stated, "You should do the honors."

I flipped it on, and the beast began to breathe with a deep, churning sound, followed by little clicking noises. Jim seemed very pleased with himself. "I'm jealous, Beth. This baby is far better than what I have at home."

_So I'm dating a computer nerd..._ "Wow, I didn't know you were such a computer expert, Jim."

"I'm not really," he said with false modesty, waving off the compliment. "Anyone could put this thing together. Now, let me show you what it can do." I had to admit Jim's zeal was infectious, so I stepped closer to the screen and watched his hands dance over the keyboard.

"You'll like this, Beth. I'm dialing up a Bulletin Board System. It's called a BBS for short." I listened to the two computers "talking" to one another with high-pitched electronic squeals and pings. The screen changed into a crude black and white picture of a lighthouse on a craggy hill with its beacon shooting into the distance. The words 'The Lighthouse' flashed at the top, and near the bottom I saw in smaller lettering, 'SysOp: The Keeper'.

Jim enthusiastically explained, "The Lighthouse is the name of the bulletin board and The Keeper is the person who runs it."

"But what does SysOp mean?"

"It stands for Systems Operator."

That meant nothing to me, so I asked, "What the heck do you do with a BBS?"

"It's like a big party. People call from all over Denver and talk about different things. It's fun, trust me. I've been calling The Lighthouse for a couple of months now." Jim pointed to the monitor, and I leaned in to get a closer look at the words on the bottom of the screen.

What is your alias?

"Beth, you get to pick a nickname for yourself," Jim said, grinning like a kid.

I could tell he was eager to share his hobby with me, and I thought it was cute. "What are you called?"

"My alias is Green Lantern in honor of my favorite comic book series."

So he was a comic book guy as well? _Yikes._ Jim's nerdiness factor went up another notch. I wasn't against nerds; in fact, many of my good friends in college were nerds. However, I had learned from experience that too much nerdiness didn't make good boyfriend material.

Jim got out of the chair and insisted I sit. He leaned in close as if he were sharing a secret. "Beth, this is your chance to be whoever you want. Have fun with it." His passion for the BBS was beginning to rub off on me. I came up with several aliases I liked, but finally settled on Teach.

Jim protested, "That isn't descriptive enough."

"Well, I'm a teacher, Jim. Teach seems pretty darn descriptive to me."

"But you have such fiery red hair," he said, taking a lock of my hair and twirling it in his fingers. "A name like Phoenix would do you more justice."

I blushed at the intimacy of the gesture. "Hmm...well I have always liked the story behind the phoenix. The whole rising from the ashes _would_ make me seem kinda mysterious, I suppose."

He smiled impishly. "Everyone loves a woman of mystery."

"Fine, Phoenix it is." I typed it on the keyboard and hit enter. The computer identified me as a new user and asked a slew of questions. When I finished answering them, it informed me that I needed to call the next day to see if the SysOp would grant access to his BBS.

I pouted. "Gee, what fun is that?"

"That is the way it's done, noob," Jim chuckled.

"Noob?" I grumbled, feeling insulted even though I had no idea what the word meant.

" _Noob_ as in newbie. Someone who doesn't know anything about computers."

Of course I was a noob! I didn't want a darn computer in the first place. "Well, I'm proud to be a noob," I said, sticking my chin up defiantly.

Jim's laughter filled the tiny apartment. "And you're such a cute little noob, too, Phoenix." He leaned over and kissed me on the nose. I couldn't help but smile.

I looked back at the computer screen and frowned. "Jim...what if The Keeper rejects my request?"

"Don't worry, every SysOp wants more females. Ladies automatically attract users. You're a shoo-in." Jim offered his hand in an elegant manner. "Happy birthday, Phoenix."

I took it, and he twirled me around twice, just as he had on the dance floor the night we first met. He whistled appreciatively. "You are looking hot tonight."

I was thrilled he finally noticed. "Thanks, Jim." I glanced at the computer. "You really shouldn't have. Your gift is too much...way too expensive."

He winked at me. "A pretty girl like you should expect expensive things."

I blushed for a second time that night. No one had talked to me that way before. He strolled over to my lime green sofa and sat, patting the area next to him. I sat beside him, embarrassed by the hardness of my couch. It was an old hand-me-down from my parents. I appreciated Jim's sensitivity in not mentioning it.

"One kiss should be thanks enough for the computer," Jim announced with a roguish glint in his eye. I suddenly felt obligated to kiss him, and it ruined the romantic mood. So I leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"That's sweet," he commented, "but I'd like to try that again." He moved in closer just as his pager went off. I jumped back, startled by the unpleasant noise.

"No!" he growled, pulling the pager out of his pocket and checking the number. "Damn, I've got to take care of this. Where's your phone?" I pointed at the end table.

While Jim talked to his boss, I began picking up the packing materials and stuffed them in the largest cardboard box. After he'd finished the call, Jim turned to me. "Unfortunately, I've got to go."

I couldn't hide the disappointment I felt. "But I really wanted to have dinner with you."

"I know. You'll have to sup without me, but I promise to come back later tonight, birthday girl." He nodded towards the computer. "Why don't you enjoy your present while I'm gone?"

After he'd left, I sat alone in my apartment feeling sorry for myself. Since Angie was off visiting her parents, I had nobody to celebrate with. I ended up eating Froot Loops for dinner next to Jim's cold ugly computer.

He returned later that night with a box full of supplies. I was curious and snuck a peek. The box held a metal shaker, bottles of liquor, cheese, olives and special glasses. "What's all this?"

"I happen to be a martini expert and plan to show off my skills tonight, but first I have to ask. Did you play with the computer while I was gone?"

I looked at him sheepishly, shaking my head.

"Well, we'll have to remedy that, won't we?"

Jim made two martinis with the stylish flourish of a bartender. He handed me a glass with two blue cheese-stuffed olives on a toothpick. "The olives make the drink," he gloated.

It was such an odd combination that I didn't believe him. I took a small bite of the olive. My mouth burst with the tang of the aged cheese mixed with the saltiness of the green olive. It was so tasty that I popped the whole thing in my mouth. "Yum! Can I have another?"

He chuckled and stuffed another olive for me, putting it in my drink. "You do realize you are supposed to drink the martini."

"If you insist..." I took a sip and tried to hide my shudder. It was unpleasantly strong.

"Well?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.

"It must be one of those things you have to experience a few times to appreciate fully. I'm sure it's very good."

"Then drink up. I know I make a damn good martini." I rolled my eyes teasingly and took another sip. It went down with less of a shudder, so I smiled.

Jim walked over to the computer and motioned me to sit. "You do realize you have to use the thing to find out what it can do. Why don't you check to see if The Keeper has accepted you?"

"I thought it took a day?"

"Because you're a woman, the SysOp may make an exception. It can't hurt to check."

I put my martini glass next to the keyboard and sat down. When I typed the word 'Phoenix', the screen changed to a completely different scene.

"Hey, it looks as if you've got an email." Jim said, showing me how to access it.

Welcome Phoenix,

We don't have too many women who call, so I expect you'll be popular with the other users. Don't forget to post something about yourself on General. We've got a lively bunch, but don't let that scare you. It's a good group of people. I look forward to seeing you around.

\--The Keeper

I was fascinated that someone I didn't know had written me. I suddenly understood Jim's enthusiasm for the BBS.

He showed me the different sections called subs. "Each sub has its own topic of discussion. _Political Noise_ focuses on anything going on in politics. _History in the Making_ is about current issues in the news. However, you should leave your first message on _General_. It's more of a socializing sub than anything else, and it's the first place people check."

Together we read through a few of the messages so I could get an idea what people were talking about.

General Sub

____________

Title: Horrible Day

From: Mr. Ed #34

____________

Bad day!

I want everyone to know I've had the worst day of my life. Don't ask me about it either. I feel like punching something!

\--Mr. Ed

____________

Title: Tranquility

From: Runner #22

____________

Hey Tranquility!

You are hot! Have you considered taking a dip in a hot tub with Runner? Hubba, hubba! Let me know, gal. I'll be waiting.

\--Runner

____________

Title: Don't feel bad...

From: Daisy #18

____________

Mr. Ed, I'm sorry you had a bad day, and I won't even ask what happened. My day was pretty good, so I guess we evened each other out. Weird, huh?

Runner, are your hormones on the loose or what? Get a grip, man.

Greywolf, how is school going? We haven't heard from you for quite a while. Remember not to work too hard! We're here if you need a distraction ;-)

Where is everyone? We need more people to post. If you read this please respond!

\--Daisy

____________

Title: Keep Your Calendars Open

From: The Keeper #1

____________

My fellow Lighthousers, I've been talking about it for a while and have finally decided to have the party the first week of December after you all get back from stuffing yourselves with turkey. Even if you have gained 5 pounds, we still want to see you. Keep checking back. I'll send out details later.

Mr. Ed, we've all had a day like that, my friend. Hang tough.

Daisy, thanks for staying on top of things.

Runner, consider continuing your conversation with Tranquility on another sub like Flirtations.

Tranquility, if he is bothering you let me know. I know where he lives. ;^)

\--The Keeper

____________

Jim explained, "Most of the users call a few times a week. Daisy and Mr. Ed call daily, so you'll normally see posts from both of them." Then Jim put his hand on my shoulder and asked, "Hey, you saw that The Lighthouse is having a party, right? I was hoping to take you to it."

"Wouldn't that be kind of weird? I don't know anybody."

He squeezed my shoulder. "Don't worry, Phoenix. You'll be with me, and I know everyone. It would give me the chance to show you off."

"I don't know, Jim. I'll have to think about it."

"Don't think too hard," he quipped, tweaking my nose before grabbing his drink. "Better post a message on General so they know you've become a member."

I stared at the screen, unsure what of write to a bunch of strangers. I took another sip of the martini to boost my confidence. _Here goes nothing_ , I thought to myself as I started typing:

____________

Title: To Everyone

From: Phoenix #42

____________

The Phoenix has risen!

I'm new to the world of computers and excited at the prospect of getting to know everyone here. I'll tell you about myself if you'll do the same. I'm originally from Montana, but moved to Colorado two years ago. I've been teaching in Denver and LOVE it here! Here are few tidbits about me.

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite animal: Wolf

Favorite flower: The simple white daisy

Favorite song: "Who Wants to Live Forever" from the movie Highlander (Great scene – makes me cry and a great song by Queen.)

By the way, if you couldn't already tell, I'm female. I've heard you could use more of them. Type at you soon!

\--Phoenix

____________

After posting, a strange feeling came over me. For better or worse, I felt certain my life was about to change. I disconnected from the BBS and finished my drink. I was surprised at how quickly the alcohol went to my head and I started giggling incessantly.

Instead of being put off by it, Jim seemed amused. "You know, you are simply adorable when you're tipsy."

I snickered as I bumped his shoulder. "Are you saying I'm not always adorable?"

Jim pulled me close. "Let's just say that I find you very alluring right now." His kisses were hard and aggressive. It felt a bit like an invasion.

I pushed him away playfully. "Slow down, Tiger. This woman likes to be wooed."

He chuckled and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

"That's much better," I complimented. I didn't care for his kissing technique but held out hope he was teachable.

Jim got up and made another round of martinis. "Drink up, my little Phoenix." I noticed he put three olives in my glass, and I smiled at his thoughtful gesture. I ate all three before drinking his wicked concoction.

He winked at me knowingly. "Tasting better, isn't it?"

"I guess. The olives definitely help."

Jim sat down again and moved in for another kiss. He clasped the back of my neck, pressing his lips hard against mine as his tongue wormed its way deep into my mouth. I pushed against his chest and broke the kiss. "Geez, Jim, entice me, don't attack me."

"I've never had complaints about my kissing before." Then Jim raised an eyebrow. "Are you being coy with me, Beth?"

I shook my head, insulted by the question. "No, I don't play games."

Jim's face instantly broke out in a charming grin. "I'm glad to hear that." He cupped my chin in his hand. "So tell me, Beth, do you like the computer?"

"Maybe a little..." I giggled at the absurdity of it. I was actually starting to like the beastly thing.

##    
A New Connection

My normally sweet first graders were not themselves the next day. Julia came to me crying. "I'm sorry, Miss Lynn!"

I thought she was hurt and kneeled down next to her. "What happened, sweetie?"

"I didn't mean to...please don't be mad."

When I questioned her further, she pointed to the fish tank. I walked over and saw that the tank was swimming in fish food. "How did that happen? You know Bluey only needs a couple of flakes."

"I poured it too fast," she sobbed, tears running down her chubby cheeks. "Are you mad, Miss Lynn?"

"I'm not mad, but aren't you supposed to take a pinch of food so this doesn't happen?" She looked so miserable when she nodded her head that I had to give her a hug. "It'll be all right, Julia. Miss Lynn will fix this."

I spent my lunch cleaning out the tank so our class fish wouldn't die. Right after recess, Robert informed me that someone had stolen his Pac Man watch from his backpack. I wasted precious class time investigating its whereabouts only to find that Robert had forgotten he'd put it in his lunchbox.

I would have laughed, except that we were _way_ behind schedule. I clapped my hands. "Okay class, I have a special challenge for you. We usually take twenty minutes for spelling work, but you guys are looking especially smart today. I'm going to set the timer for ten minutes. I want to see how many of you can finish it before the timer goes off. Are you ready?" The entire class nodded in unison. I picked up the timer and set it. "On your mark...get set... go!"

I smiled as I watched my first graders quickly pull out their spelling notebooks and start on their work. I just loved first graders!

When I arrived home that evening, I called Angie to talk about my day, but she didn't answer. I reluctantly left a message detailing my odd birthday and then flopped down next to the computer. I was hesitant to call the BBS, but the idea of talking to other adults was far too tempting.

I switched it on and listened to the electronic squeals, waiting for the screen of the lighthouse to appear. I typed in my alias and saw that there was another e-mail from the SysOp:

Phoenix,

Hello again. Don't worry about being new, everyone is the first time. Ha Ha (little joke there) I'm happy to help if you have any questions. I see you left a message for the other users. I knew you'd be popular with my group.

I read your post and understand that if I want to get to know you better I have tell you about myself.

Using your categories here are my favorites:

Blue (we are alike on that score)

Bald Eagle

Flowers – really? If I had to choose I guess it would be wildflowers on a mountainside

All of "The Wall" by Pink Floyd. BTW, Highlander is a great movie and Queen is exceptional – nice choice.

I've been running this board for a year now. It's my hobby. I travel a lot, and this provides entertainment while I'm on the road. I get the chance to meet a lot of interesting people through my board, so it's worth the trouble and cost of running it.

Now that I've revealed a little about myself, I look forward to hearing more about you, Miss Phoenix.

\--The Keeper

It seemed amazing that I was communicating with someone I'd never met. It felt as if a whole new world were opening up to me. I began typing back to The Keeper, smiling as I wrote.

Hey Keeper,

Thanks for your offer of help and I appreciate knowing more about you. So tell me, what do you for a living that causes you to travel so much?

A little more about me – I love teaching first grade! Every day is an adventure with my students. Some more important facts about me: I hate peas, love animals and enjoy dancing. (Grin)

You'd be able to pick me out of a crowd because of my long red hair. I also have green eyes and freckles. (Your typical redhead, I'm afraid.)

\--Phoenix

The BBS reminded me of being at a party and meeting strangers, but this was far better. You could be yourself without the pressure that meeting in person brings. After posting my message, I decided to see what he meant about my being popular on the board. I clicked on General Sub and was shocked to see nine posts welcoming me to The Lighthouse.

I had just finished reading Daisy's message stating that she appreciated having another woman on the BBS when I heard a light rap on the door. I was thrilled when I opened it to Angie's smiling face.

"I didn't expect to see you today," I squealed, giving her a big hug.

Angie had been my friend ever since my arrival in Denver. We met at the DMV while waiting for our driver's licenses. In the midst of whining to each other about the incredibly long wait, the two of us realized we had a lot in common – including our love of dancing and a phenomenal sense of humor. We'd been inseparable ever since.

"Happy day after birthday, girlfriend." She held up a paper bag. "I brought you dinner!"

"Thanks, Ang." I nudged her shoulder playfully. "It sure beats my cereal fiasco yesterday."

"Yeah, where is this lame-o birthday present?"

I pointed to the large white monster sitting on my desk. She shook her head in disbelief and then her expression became serious. "How is it going with Jim anyway?"

"Pretty good."

"I hate to break it to you, Beth, but he's an odd duck and not in a good way."

I was completely offended by her statement. How dare she put down the first guy to want me in years! "Why do you say that?"

She could tell I was upset and gave me a tight squeeze before continuing. "Look, I know I only met him once, but he's got a vibe I don't trust. And hello, buying a computer for your birthday is just plain weird."

"I do admit his gift threw me for a loop. No one has ever gotten me anything that expensive before."

"But a computer, Beth? Wouldn't jewelry be so much nicer?"

I felt the need to defend Jim's choice of gift. "Funny thing is, Ang, I'm starting to like it." I gave her another friendly nudge. "Hey, I was just checking the BBS posts. Why don't you sit down and join me?"

I got two forks out of the utensil drawer while Angie pulled up a chair up. Together we read the next post while we nibbled our food. As fate would have it, the post was from Jim.

General Sub

____________

Title: Welcome!

From: Green Lantern #35

____________

Welcome Phoenix, this board definitely could use more lovely ladies. Let me be one of the first to welcome you here. I'm trying to imagine what you look like. Please tell us more.

Runner, don't harass Phoenix yet. Give her a chance to settle in first.

Tranquility, hey good-looking! I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. Do you need me to come over and fix that troublesome computer of yours? It would be my pleasure.

Don't worry Daisy, I haven't forgotten you. Always pleased to hear when you have a good day because I can just picture your stunning smile.

Another tough day at work, but don't feel sorry for me. I'm man enough to take it.

\--Green Lantern

____________

Angie made a tsking sound. "What did I tell you? That boy is trouble."

I couldn't understand why Jim was pretending he didn't know me, and I did _not_ appreciate him flirting with the other women on the board. Why would he do that when he knew I would be reading his post? I sat back in my chair and huffed, "I don't get it."

"Dump him, girlfriend. He isn't worth your time."

I wasn't ready to give up on Jim yet, but I also wasn't willing to be hurt again. "He's got some good qualities, Ang, but I do think he needs a taste of his own medicine."

I was a firm believer in tit for tat, so Angie and I spent the next fifteen minutes coming up with flirtatious responses to all of the men who posted to me. I even continued Jim's charade by responding to him as if we'd never met.

"That should teach him," Angie said with a cheeky grin.

I was sucking in an especially long lo mein noodle when I saw the screen change to something new. I almost choked. "What did you do, Angie?"

"I didn't do anything," she protested.

"You must have touched something! What button did you push?" I started to panic. "I don't know how to get it back." I threw my hands in the air. "And _this_ is why I hate computers!"

Suddenly words appeared on the screen.

Hello! It's good to see you.

I had no clue what to do or who the heck was typing to me! After a minute, more words appeared.

Are you still there? Just type an answer, then hit enter and I'll be able to read it.

Whoever it was could read my mind.

"What's going on, Beth? Who is that?"

"I don't know. I suppose there's only one way to find out." My heart was racing as I typed.

Hey, who are you?

It's The Keeper. I'm sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Just wanted to type in person—so to speak.

Angie nudged me. "Who is The Keeper?"

"He's the guy that runs the BBS. Ugh, what do I say to him? This is so weird!"

"Don't ask me, you're the computer expert."

"Yeah, right..."

I didn't know we could type to each other like this.

It's called "chat". A person can do it when they are using the computer that runs the board. I'm in town for a couple of days and was hoping you would call so I could chat to you like this.

I wanted to say something witty, but my mind was not cooperating in the least. "Help me, Ang."

"How can I help? You're the one who knows this guy."

"I don't know him! Heck, I just got on the board yesterday." I realized he was still waiting for a reply, so I typed the only thing that came to mind, groaning as I did it.

I'm embarrassed. I'm a slow typer and...this is a little awkward for me.

Don't worry. I didn't type fast when I first started. As to feeling awkward, it'll get easier the more you do it. I was planning to respond to your latest email, but since you're online, we can chat instead. So I read that you're a teacher of little ones. I admire anyone willing to deal with a bunch of bratty kids. Ha Ha... But seriously, it's awesome that you want to make a difference.

I appreciated his compliment.

Thanks. (smile)

And I must say that you sound beautiful. The combination of red hair and green eyes is perfect. Is that why you call yourself Phoenix, because of your hair?

"Ooh," Angie teased. "He's flirting with you!"

I felt the heat rise to my face.

Yep, that's why I'm called Phoenix.

Well, I'm 6'4" with brown hair and brown eyes. (A typical brownhead I suppose)

Angie poked me in the ribs. "A guy with a sense of humor. I like him, Beth."

I rolled my eyes. "Give me a break, Ang." However, I secretly agreed. I liked his sense of humor, too.

He'd kept typing.

You asked what I do for a living. Well, I'm a salesman for a company that writes software for businesses. We sell to businesses all around the US, so that means traveling on my part. I enjoy seeing other places, so it suits me fine. But it does mean I don't get to meet people where I live because I'm gone so much. That's where my computer comes in.

I was starting to get the hang of the chat thing, and smiled as I typed.

That sounds interesting. I would love to travel around the country like that. But what do you like to do on your free time?

I enjoy the outdoors. Whenever I have the time, I like to backpack. So besides dancing, what you like to do?

Angie took over the keyboard before I could stop her and typed:

I must say you sound like the perfect man: tall, dark, and handsome.

He didn't type anything in response.

"Angie! Why did you do that?" I slapped her hands away. "I can't believe you just did that!"

"Oh, come on, Beth. I'm just having a little fun," she teased. I pushed her chair far away from the computer before sitting back down. Thankfully, I saw he'd typed something back.

Ha Ha, that's quite a compliment. Thank you. Hey, have you heard I'm throwing a party for The Lighthouse?

I frowned at Angie. "Thanks a lot. Now he thinks I'm hitting on him."

The imp just shrugged her shoulders with a naughty gleam in her eye.

What could I say that would not sound as if I were trying to pick him up? I stared at the blinking cursor for several seconds.

Yes, I remember reading about it.

Are you planning on coming?

Angie squealed, "It looks as if someone wants to meet you, Beth!"

I hadn't considered it, Keeper, since I just joined your BBS yesterday.

Please, don't let that stop you from coming. I wanted to make it an early Christmas party, but I don't have any decorations. How pathetic is that? :^(

"Hey, what do those symbols at the end mean?" Angie asked.

I pushed her hands away from the keyboard. "I don't know any more than you do."

"So why don't you ask him?"

"No way! I don't want to look like a total noob."

"A what?" she asked innocently, as her fingers inched towards the keyboard again.

I blocked her access, huffing. "You wouldn't understand. The guy probably thinks I'm a complete idiot as it is..." I couldn't think of _anything_ clever to redirect the conversation, so I just typed what came into my head.

I only have a few decorations myself.

I was simply stating a fact, but he must have taken it the wrong way based on his response.

So do you want to help decorate the place?

Angie hugged me from behind. "I think he's asking you on a pre-date! Isn't that cute?"

My heart started pounding. I was digging myself into a hole with this dang chat thing. I complained, "This is all your fault, Ang. Now what am I going to do?"

"Take him up on it. It'll be like a blind date. Oh Beth, it's going to be fun! I'll even go as your chaperone." She squeezed me enthusiastically.

I'd only known this guy through typing to each other, but I had to admit I was intrigued with the idea of meeting him in person. For better or worse, I let my curiosity rule the moment. "Angie, if this turns out badly I'm going to make you pay dearly." Adrenaline started kicking in as I typed.

Do you mind if I bring someone?

The Keeper didn't even hesitate.

Please do, the more the merrier.

"Ask him when," Angie whispered in my ear as if he could hear her. I hunched over the keyboard to block the keyboard from her.

When should we come over?

How about Saturday, say around 2:00 PM?

I swallowed hard. There was no turning back now...

Sounds good.

See you then, Phoenix. I'll give you directions to my apartment in the next email.

The screen changed back to the posts on _General_. I was shaken from the unexpected encounter, and logged off instead of reading the rest of the messages.

"Remind me to _never_ let you near my computer again," I scolded, turning off the beast so she could not cause further damage.

Angie's eyes were positively glowing. "I have a good feeling about this, Beth. Just you wait." She bit down on her egg roll and chewed it with a self-satisfied grin.

I called Jim later that night to tell him about the outing. I wasn't looking at it as a "pre-date" but as a chance to meet the SysOp before the BBS party. "Hey, you want to join Angie and me around 1:00? We can meet at my apartment and drive down together."

"I can't. The firm has a hairy case coming up, so they've asked the team to come in this weekend to prepare for it."

"That's a shame. Would you like me to cancel?"

"Hell no, I'll knock off around six Saturday night and swing by your apartment to pick you up. We'll go out for dinner, and you can tell me all about it."

I was a little surprised that he still wanted me to go. "Guess I'll see you Saturday night, then." I paused, hating confrontation, but needing to be upfront with Jim. "Did you read my last post on General?"

"I sure did!" Jim sounded thrilled instead of angry. "You've got quite the following already."

I was thrown off by his reaction. "You don't care that I flirted with everyone on the board?"

"No, why would I mind? It'll make it more exciting when we show up at the party together."

I didn't care for his answer and suddenly wondered if it was all just a game to him.

"I only did it to get even with you. I _don't_ like you flirting with all the girls."

Jim chuckled lightly. "Beth, are you actually jealous?"

His laughter put me on the defensive. "I think it's a pretty normal reaction. I don't see what's so funny, Jim."

"I'm touched." He laughed again, setting me on edge. "No, really, it's nice to have someone as attractive as you feeling jealous over a guy like me. I'll stop if it will make you happy."

My nurturing side saw an insecure man who was desperate to be loved. It made Jim's actions more understandable, and I relaxed a little. "You know, I can cancel going over to The Lighthouse. It's no big deal."

"Oh no, don't. I'll be busy all day. Have fun with Angie, and we'll meet up after I get off work."

I lay in my bed that night pleasantly stunned. In the two years since moving to Colorado, I had only gotten to know a handful of people. Now, with the gift of a lowly computer, I had the ability to correspond with other adults night and day. It didn't seem real.

I hugged my pillow and smiled to myself. My dry spell was officially over.

##    
First Impressions

Angie arrived at my house Saturday afternoon, and she looked _freaking_ gorgeous. She was wearing tight blue jeans, red heels, and a white silk shirt. Her platinum blonde hair was perfectly teased and layered with not a single hair out of place. For a split second, I wished I hadn't invited her.

"You're looking a little too fine, Ang," I joked.

"Nonsense, you're totally bodacious, girl."

I wore a simple outfit of a knee-length ruffled black skirt and a plain but form-fitting black top. I knew that black showed off my red hair like no other color could, and the combination went perfectly with my favorite pair of black leather boots. My long hair had a natural wave that made styling a breeze. I secretly hoped to impress the man who thought I sounded beautiful.

I jumped into my old gray Honda, trusting Angie to be my copilot. I was impatient to meet The Keeper, but the closer we got to his apartment, the more nervous I became. I turned onto a side street, parked the car and looked at my friend.

"I'm sorry, Ang. I don't know why, but I feel as if I'm going to puke. I can't do this."

Angie gave me a sympathetic smile. "It's just nerves. You _can_ do it. We're almost there, girl. It'd be a shame to get this close and not even meet him. Quit stalling."

I stalled a little longer.

"I just hope this guy doesn't turn out to be a weirdo. I'd almost prefer not to know rather than have the man I've imagined in my mind destroyed the minute I meet him face to face."

"I know you, Beth. Your curiosity is not going to let you do that. Besides, girlfriend, I'm here with you, so turn the car back on and let's go. It'll be fun. And if it's not, at least we can laugh about it later."

We found The Keeper's apartment complex without any difficulty. Finding the right apartment, however, was not as easy. We had to drive through the complex twice before I located it. There were eight identical brown buildings, but I eventually found his, despite a large tree hiding the apartment number. I looked up the long flight of stairs that led to his apartment.

"I guess this is it," I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

"Yep, your mystery man is about to be revealed."

I felt queasy as I forced myself up the stairs. Once there, I stared at the door, dumbly afraid to announce my arrival. Angie got impatient and knocked for me. The door opened to a man about my height with green eyes, dishwater blond hair, and a round boyish face. I was shocked, to say the least.

"You must be Phoenix! Come in. I was wondering what you looked like."

I followed him into the apartment with Angie following close behind. The apartment was dark, and what little light there was came from the sunlight that filtered through the sliding glass door at the other end of the room. My eyes took a few minutes to adjust, but in that time I was peppered with questions.

"I see you brought a friend. What's her name? Did you have trouble finding the place? It can be a little confusing the first time you come here. Did you bring anything to eat because I haven't eaten all day?"

His deluge rendered me speechless. Angie introduced herself and answered his questions, explaining that we had only a little trouble finding the apartment, and no, we hadn't brought anything to eat.

He shrugged his shoulders and called out, "Hey Scott, she's here!"

A tall man wearing a simple white T-shirt and black basketball shorts came from the back of the apartment. His dark brown hair was feathered in the front and long in back, and I noticed a thin mustache just above his mischievous grin. As he approached, I looked into the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. Their dark gray color instantly drew me in. "It's good to meet you, Phoenix. I've been looking forward to this ever since you agreed to come."

Still gazing into his magnetic eyes, I answered, "Me, too." His smile broadened, and I felt a blush creep across my face.

He looked over at Angie and asked, "So who did you bring with you?"

_He just asked me a question, right?_ I was lulled by his rich, masculine voice and had to force myself to reflect on his words.

"Umm... This is my friend, Angie. Angie, this is The Keeper."

He chuckled. "You can call me Scott. It's nice to meet you, Angie."

"Thanks. Same here," Angie said with enthusiasm. I could tell she was impressed.

Scott turned back to me with those killer eyes, and I stammered, "I'm...Beth. Nice to meet you." _Nuts, we already said that._ My face grew hotter. _Great, how many shades of red was that?_

"Likewise," Scott said with a handsome smirk. He introduced the guy who answered the door. "Mike lives a few doors down. He's also one of the regular users on the board." I shook Mike's hand, grateful he wasn't who I'd first thought.

"Guess my alias," Mike insisted.

I had no idea who Mike was on the BBS. I stared at him intently, trying to pick out something from his looks that might hint to who he was. When it was obvious I wasn't getting anywhere, Scott mentioned, "Mike has a real love for hot tubs."

"Ah!" I remembered the obnoxious post to Tranquility. "Then you must be Runner." Mike grinned from ear to ear.

It definitely is interesting putting the face to the name.

"I'm sorry to do this to you guys," Scott informed us, "but my computer has been acting up, and I need to work on it for a bit. I'm not normally a recluse, but I don't have a choice since I'm traveling tomorrow."

I smiled in sympathy, although I was disappointed. "You gotta do what you gotta do."

"Thanks for understanding, Beth."

I smiled, loving how he said my name all low and seductive-like.

He then turned to Mike. "Hey, do me a favor and show these ladies where the decorations are."

My eyes followed Scott as he headed back to his computer in the other room, letting out a deep sigh. Angie heard it and gave a friendly nudge in my side. I nudged her back, grinning sheepishly.

"Let's get started!" Mike announced, clapping his hands loudly. He immediately put himself in charge and handed me rolls of green and red crepe paper to hang.

"Thanks." I looked over at Angie sadly.

In typical Angie fashion, she had a little fun with me. "Wise choice, Mike. Beth is excellent with the crepe paper. I'll go get the decorations out of your car, girl. Be right back." She winked at me as she scooted out the door.

Mike was obviously pleased by her comment because he had a shit-eating grin on his face. He pointed to a corner on the other side of the room. "You start over there, and I'll work on the Christmas lights."

I looked up to where he pointed, but I was way too short to reach it. I glanced around the small living room. It had an oversized brown sectional with the large wooden coffee table in the middle. To the right, I saw the dining area consisted of two barstools set next to a counter. I noticed the sliding glass door was open, and there was a single plastic chair on the deck, so I grabbed it and started hanging the streamers. By then, Angie had returned with my box of snowflakes and tinsel.

While we worked, Mike told us about himself. "I met The Keeper when he first moved to these apartments."

I figured since Scott wasn't around to talk, I might as well pump Mike for more information. "How long have the two of you been friends?"

"About a year. He was the one who got me interested in BBSing. Scott let me use his computer until I got one of my own. He's pretty cool."

I smiled to myself, pleased to hear that Scott was a considerate guy.

I was curious if Mike knew the other users on The Lighthouse. "Have you any people from the BBS?"

"Yeah, a few." His eyes glazed over with lust when he added, "But my favorite is Tranquility. She's been over here a couple of times."

"She has? What's she like?" Angie asked, knowing that I must be curious.

"Tranquility is a hot brunette. She's smokin' hot!" he said, raising his eyebrows up and down rapidly. I was instantly reminded of Bugs Bunny and turned away so he wouldn't see me snicker.

"Are you dating her?" Angie probed.

Mike turned a nice shade of lobster red. "Oh no, not me."

His blush was endearing. I patted him on the back and asked, "Why not, Mike?"

He stuttered, "It's just that...she's...you know. I...I...just couldn't ask her."

Angie and I smiled at each other and said in unison, "Sure you could!"

He grinned foolishly. Mike did not seem like the same guy I'd gotten to know on the board. Runner was obnoxious and seemed to have an ego that just wouldn't quit. In person? He reminded me of some of the nerdy guys I used to hang with in college. I gave Mike a friendly elbow in the ribs. "Why don't you ask her at the party?"

"Heh, heh. Well, she kinda has a thing for Scott." I felt a prick of jealousy that had no business being there.

I shoved it away as we continued decorating, but the whole time I longed to be in the computer room talking to Scott. When I was hanging the last snowflake, he emerged from the back room. I was struck again by how attractive he was and I had to force myself not to stare.

Scott seemed impressed with the streamers, snowflakes, and twinkling lights decorating his bachelor pad. "Not bad, you guys, not bad at all. In fact, I'd say you three deserve a drink. What'll you have? I've got Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew or Mountain Dew." A giggle burst from my lips before I could stop it.

Scott looked at me and smiled. "I take it you want Pepsi?"

I giggled again and blushed profusely. "Mountain Dew would be great," I murmured. He walked into the kitchen while the rest of us took a seat in the living room. Scott came back with four cans of pop and sat on the sofa across from me. It gave me the chance to get a better look at him. I noticed he was wearing high-tops which seemed suspiciously athletic to me. I got the impression he'd been a jock in high school. I'd never gotten along with jocks.

Sorry Scott, strike one.

He popped his can open, oblivious to my criticism, and took a long sip before asking, "Beth, you mentioned that Christmas is your favorite holiday. What do you like about it?"

His genuine smile was engaging, and I couldn't help smiling back. "Decorating the tree, I guess. And the presents, of course."

He winked at me, and my heart did a flip-flop. Scott turned to Angie. "You know, you're welcome to join us at the party. You've earned the right since you helped decorate."

I sincerely hoped this was a gesture of kindness on his part and not a sign of interest in my girlfriend.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm already committed that night." She smiled at him and then looked at me. I knew she didn't have any plans. A truer friend I would never find.

"Well, I hope you can join us some other time, then," Scott said amiably.

Mike jumped right in, rambling about the other users who were planning to come to the party. I looked away self-consciously whenever Scott caught me staring, but I couldn't help myself. There was something alluring about those gray eyes.

I wanted to get Scott talking, so I asked, "How many BBS parties have you had?"

"This will actually be my third. I think you'll be surprised when you meet everyone."

Angie perked up. "What do you mean?"

Scott grinned. "Well, let's just say that not everyone will look the way you imagined."

I'd already experienced that with Mike and my curiosity was piqued. "Who will surprise me the most, Scott?"

He chuckled. "I don't want to spoil it for you, but I think you'll enjoy the experience. We have a unique group of people on The Lighthouse. It's one of the reasons I enjoy running it. We have people from all walks of life."

Mike told her proudly, "Yeah, all my friends are from The Lighthouse."

"Cool," I answered. I was beginning to feel a fondness for Mike in a little-brother sort of way.

I glanced over at Angie and saw she was playing with her nails—a common habit when she was bored, so I announced that we should probably go. As I got up to leave, Scott stopped me. "Beth, I'm sorry I had to work on my computer while you were here, but I'm really glad you came."

I looked into his eyes. There was something safe yet perilous about those dark gray eyes. "It was great to meet you in person, Keeper."

"I agree, Phoenix. I have to admit you surprised me." I wondered what he meant, but was too shy to ask. Scott followed us to the car and watched as we drove away.

Angie tugged on a lock of my hair. "Well, I think you two hit it off well. He sure gave you a few intense stares. So, what do you think of him?"

I tried to sound nonchalant. "He looks like a jock. I guess I'll have to get to know him better and see if he's a jerk or not."

She rolled her eyes. "He seems like a perfectly nice guy, Beth. I really like him."

"I like him, too." I shyly admitted.

"No duh, you giggled and made cow eyes at him the whole time."

I poked her ribs with one hand while keeping the other on the steering wheel. "Shut up!" I did _not_ need to be reminded of my juvenile behavior.

Later that night, I called the board and was in for a pleasant surprise. Scott had left me an email that left no doubt how he felt about our initial meeting.

Hey Beth!

It was great meeting you today. You have the most beautiful hair I've ever seen. Wow, you literally took my breath away. I'm looking forward to the party.

I'll be away in Atlanta this week, but I'll type to you using my portable computer. I needed to fix the one at home so I could call my board while I'm gone. Maybe now you can understand why I had to be antisocial. Trust me, it was not by choice.

Anyway, I'm leaving tonight so I won't be able to chat until I get back. We'll just have to live with email messages until then.

\--Scott

It seemed I had left as big an impression on him as he had on me. I hit the key to continue and found another message waiting for me from someone else.

Hubba Hubba Phoenix!

You're one fine looking woman. You never told us how attractive you were. Are you sure you won't join me in a hot tub? We have one at the apartments. At least think about it, okay?

Love those legs!

\--Runner

I wanted to gag after reading Runner's email. I couldn't believe Mike had changed back into his alias personality. I deleted his message without answering it. I made my way to General Sub and found Mike had left a message there as well.

General Sub

____________

Title: To all the guys out there

From: Runner #22

____________

Hey everyone!

I just met Phoenix today, and boy is she HOT! It'd be worth coming to the party just to see her. The two of us decorated The Lighthouse party pad today. I must admit we did an incredible job if I say so myself.

Phoenix, nice meeting you. Don't forget my offer! >:)

\--Runner

____________

I was embarrassed by his post and hoped that if I ignored Mike's comment he'd get the message I wasn't interested. I did, however, leave the following post to the rest of the group.

____________

Title: Hello to you all!

From: Phoenix #42

____________

It was fun visiting The Lighthouse! The place looks great for next week's party.

Hey Keeper, it was a pleasure meeting you today.

Runner, now I can put the face to the name. I must say, you sure seem a lot different in person.

Daisy, will you be coming to the party? I want to meet you!!!

Greywolf, I hope you'll be there, too. It'd be fun to talk a little shop with you. I doubt there will be too many teachers at the BBS party. (grin)

It will be awesome to see all the people I've been typing to.

\--Phoenix

____________

After I'd finished the post, I decided to answer Scott's latest email. I found typing to him far easier than talking in person.

Dear Scott,

I enjoyed meeting you in person. I must say you have the most striking eyes I've seen. You said they were brown, but they are most definitely gray. And you didn't tell me you had a mustache. I find them quite charming.

I'm excited about the upcoming party and can't wait to meet the gang. Thanks for inviting me to decorate The Lighthouse. I understand why you had to work on the computer. No worries.

The party next Saturday is going be a blast!

\--Beth

I hadn't eaten dinner, but the way I was feeling I wasn't even hungry. I decided I might as well do laundry. I was digging through my closet when I heard a knock at the door. My heart jumped into my throat.

_It's Jim!_ I couldn't believe I'd totally forgotten about him.

"Bet you thought I wasn't going to make it," he exclaimed when I opened the door.

I smiled weakly. "You've got that right."

"Well, just like I promised, I'm here for your pleasure." He produced a bouquet of red roses from behind his back and grinned. "So, what's for supper?"

I could smell alcohol on his breath when I took the flowers from him. "Wait a sec, I thought we were going out."

"Out? Actually, Beth, I was hoping to stay here. Spend some quality time together." His voice had a gruff quality to it.

"But didn't you promise me a night out on the town?" I insisted.

"The team worked the entire day, so we stopped at a bar afterwards to unwind. I'm too tired and hungry to go out." He walked into the apartment and flopped down at the kitchen table.

I sighed as I shut the door. "I suppose if we must stay in, it means I have to cook something," I pouted as I walked into the kitchen. I put down the flowers and dug my only vase out from under the sink. I filled it with water and plopped them in unceremoniously.

I started gathering ingredients for a quick dinner while he talked. "So, Beth, what's The Keeper like?"

I answered cautiously, "He seems nice."

"Oh, really? What did you two end up doing?" I didn't hear a hint of jealousy in his voice, which surprised me.

I related the facts without revealing my feelings. "I didn't see much of him, actually. He worked on his computer most of the time we were there. I did talk to Runner though."

"Runner's a real kick. I like that guy," Jim chuckled. "What was he doing there?"

"Same as me, we decorated the apartment with Angie's help. Scott, that's The Keeper, seemed happy with the results." I walked over to grab the salt off the table.

"I'm sure he was," Jim commented, pulling me onto his lap.

I struggled to get out of his embrace, not feeling frisky in the least. "Hey, if you want any dinner you'll have to let me go so I can finish."

"Don't play hard to get, Beth. I want tonight to be special."

Instantly, my guard was up, and I pushed off his lap. He was moving way too fast, and I wasn't sure how I felt about him. His eyes burned like lasers into my back as I dished up the simple meal.

I walked over to the table and handed Jim his plate, then sat down at the opposite side of my table wanting a little distance between us.

He stared at me with a glint in his eye. "Beth, you look ravishing tonight."

I took a huge bite of spaghetti and chewed slowly, buying time. I was unsure how to respond to his aggressive behavior. Jim stared at me a while longer, then shoveled down his plate. After he finished, he pushed the dish away.

"You know, I'm looking forward to the party. I love being hooked up with Phoenix, the most popular female on the board." He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

I suddenly felt uneasy and took my hand back. That weird vibe Angie talked about seemed to be emanating from him tonight. I wasn't sure if alcohol was to blame or not, but something wasn't quite right. "Jim, you said you were tired, and I'm tired, too. How about we call it an early night?"

"Oh no, tonight's our special night." He looked me over like I was a piece of feminine meat, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

"Are you crazy? We hardly know each other."

Jim pushed his chair out and tipped it against the wall leisurely. "Still trying to play hard to get, huh? How many dates before I get what I want, Beth? Tonight's our seventh, so tell me, how long do you usually wait? It is the eighth? Maybe the tenth?"

I was deeply offended. "There isn't a set number of dates, Jim. I'm not like that."

He continued as if he hadn't heard me. "Let's pretend this is our tenth date so you don't have to tease me anymore."

"I'm not a tease!" I protested. "Trust me, you would know if I wanted to get serious."

Jim spread his legs and motioned me to him. "Come here and show me then."

My insides recoiled at the suggestion. I hated being pushed—by anyone. I walked to the door and threw it open. "Please leave." When it looked like he wasn't going to move, I barked, "Now!"

Jim sat the chair up slowly, then stood as he laughed at me. "Beth, you are one cold fish...but I like your style. Enjoy the flowers."

Although he walked out without incident, I locked the door as soon as he'd left. His actions and words made me feel cheap, and I didn't need that in my life.

I realized there was only one thing to do...

##    
Crash and Burn

The next morning I threw the flowers away, vase and all. I was afraid Jim would not go quietly, but the sooner I ended it the better. I could not reach him on the phone, but I did get a short message on my answering machine while I was out. "Beth, I was an idiot last night. Forget it ever happened. I don't have time to talk since work's going to be hell this week, but I need you to know I'm sorry."

I tried to call him back, but got no answer. I knew his law office had an important case coming up, but was certain he was using it as an excuse to avoid me. I was thankful when I finally reached him on Wednesday.

"Jim, we need to talk."

"Look Beth, I'm sorry about the other night. You got my message, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm still upset."

"It was an exhausting day at work, and I had too much to drink before I saw you."

"I don't thin—"

"Beth, don't let my actions Saturday change anything. It was a mistake. I freely admit it. Let's continue forward like it never happened."

"But I can't forget what you said or what you implied."

"As pretty as you are, you must have guys coming on to you all the time. I would have thought you'd be used to it by now."

"What I'm used to is being treated with respect."

Except, that isn't quite true...the man I was going to marry failed me in that regard.

"I only have the highest respect for you, Phoenix."

I couldn't tell if Jim was trying to be cute or disrespectful by using my alias, but before I could comment, he added hastily. "Hey, I've got another long night ahead. Expect me around seven on Friday. Talk to you then." Jim hung up to avoid my objection, but surely he knew he was only postponing the inevitable.

It was obvious that Jim wanted more out of the relationship than I was willing to give. His cold fish comment was demeaning and unkind, but it made me wonder if he was right. If I were totally honest, what I really wanted was Jim as a friend and nothing more. Scott was the man I wanted to get to know better.

With the party only a day away, I realized that I'd better tell Scott about Jim, but I was nervous. He didn't have the slightest clue about our relationship.

Dear Scott,

I think you should know that Green Lantern and I have been dating for several weeks. I know I should have said something sooner, but Jim (Green Lantern) thought it would be fun to surprise everyone at the party. It seems stupid to me now, and I apologize.

I was looking forward to tomorrow, but now I'm unsure if I will be attending. Whether I'm there or not, I hope your party is a huge success.

Take care.

\--Beth

I reluctantly sent the message, wondering how Scott would take the news.

I checked my email early in the morning before work, but he hadn't written me back. School that day was a chore to get through and it didn't help when the fire alarm went off soon after lunch. I calmly directed my young students, singing, "Push in your chairs and line up straight. Quiet like a mouse while we wait."

I smiled and acted as if it were a planned drill so my little ones wouldn't notice my concern. We quietly walked to our designated spot on the playground and I began calling off names. Everything was going well until the fire trucks and ambulance showed up with sirens blaring. My children twittered in excitement and were impossible to quiet down after that.

Forty-five minutes later, we were given the okay to return to our classroom. I found out from one of the aides that one of the older students had started a small fire in the boy's bathroom. My students were hyped the rest of the afternoon. It was simply too much excitement for their young minds, and a few of them were scared and needed extra reassurance. By the end of the day, I was worn out emotionally and physically.

When I got home, I was desperate to read Scott's e-mail even though I feared what he would say. I fidgeted nervously while the two computers connected with their electronic beeps and squeals. The picture of the lighthouse, which usually brought a smile to my lips, only brought a sense of trepidation.

I typed my alias and was puzzled to find there weren't any e-mails waiting for me. Not knowing what Scott thought was pure torture. Maybe he hadn't gotten my message. He might not know the truth and would be in for an unpleasant surprise if the two of us showed up. I was too exhausted to deal with any of it.

Avoidance seemed my best option, so I decided not to go to the party or confront Jim.

I left Jim a message to go without me, then pulled out my favorite video tape, _An Officer and a Gentleman_. Just as Richard Gere was about to sweep Debra Winger off her feet at the factory, my phone rang. I growled under my breath and turned off the VRC to answer it.

Jim immediately apologized, "Sorry, Beth. The meeting ran late."

"It doesn't matter. I'm getting ready for bed anyway."

"Then I caught you in the nick of time. I'm coming to get you."

"I'm not going."

"You're not serious, are you? I've been looking forward to this for weeks. You're going, and that's all there is to it."

"Didn't you get my message? No matter. If you want to go you'll have to go alone."

"Don't be ridiculous, Beth!" He hung up, leaving me fuming on the other end. Fifteen minutes later, I heard my doorbell. Jim was disgusted when he saw that I was in my sweats. "Get dressed right now. We're late enough as it is."

"No." I was resentful he was forcing me into a confrontation, but I didn't see a way around it, so I dived right in. "We have to talk."

"It can wait. We need to get going." I could tell he wanted to avoid the conversation that I wasn't anxious to begin myself.

"Sorry, it can't wait." I paused, building up my courage. "The fact is you and I don't feel the same way about each other, and I think it would be best if we were just friends."

He stared at me in disbelief. "There is no way you could kiss me the way you do and tell me with a straight face that we are just friends."

"You move way too fast for me, and I'm not comfortable with it."

"So what I hear is you saying that you're attracted to me, but I'm pressuring you too much."

"No, what I'm saying is that we should be friends and nothing more."

Jim shook his head. "Beth, I don't buy it. Look, you've made your point. You need me to take it slow. Fine, I'll do that. Let's go to the party, and I'll show you I can be a gentleman."

"I don't think so."

"You won't even give me a chance? Come on, Beth." Jim's blue eyes were locked on mine. "Don't give up on me so fast. Give me a chance to prove myself." His look of desperation stabbed my heart.

He pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to me. "I wanted to give this to you for the party."

I looked in his palm and saw a sparkly red barrette in the shape of a bird. "Jim, I can't accept this."

"Yes, you can. It's a pretty little nothing for your hair." He clipped it in my red mane of curls and stood back. "See, it's perfect."

I looked at him warily. "I don't know..."

"Let's treat it like a first date, a new beginning. We'll have fun. Trust me."

I sighed, vacillating on what I should do, but when I looked at Jim I was swayed by his vulnerability. As a safety net, I insisted, "If we go, I want to take separate cars."

Jim smiled with obvious relief. "Whatever you want, gorgeous. Now get dressed and be quick about it."

I changed into a simple red party dress. My hands were shaking as I zipped it up. I had a terrifying peace about the evening, as if what was about to unfold was predestined. When I came out of my bedroom, Jim gave a long appreciative whistle. "You look enchanting."

I responded with only a hint of a smile. His compliment meant little, although I could tell he was trying.

The two of us walked out of the apartment in silence. The cold night air was refreshing to my soul. I breathed it in as I hurried to my car.

Jim headed towards his, but abruptly changed direction and walked over to me. "Beth, I need to tell you something important."

I was getting exasperated with him and snapped, "What?"

"I think..." he paused and shifted uncomfortably, "I think I'm falling in love with you."

I stood beside to my car, completely shell-shocked. Jim's words hung in the air for several minutes. I didn't know how to respond and remained silent.

I could hear an edge to his voice as he walked to his car, mumbling, "So I'll meet you at the party then."

Between the cold night air and Jim's declaration, I couldn't stop shaking the entire drive to the party. There was no way he was in love with me. We hardly knew each other. I decided it had to be some kind of ploy to gain my sympathy, and I was determined not to fall for it.

We arrived at Scott's party three hours late. I could hear loud music and laughter coming from his apartment when I stepped out of the car. I hesitated at the bottom of the stairs—again. My palms were sweaty and my heart racing.

Jim grabbed my hand and dragged me up. Before we even reached the top, the door swung open. Mike stood there grinning at me in a cheap Santa costume.

"Here she is!" he proclaimed. "We didn't think you were coming, Phoenix." Mike tried to hug me, but Jim moved between us. Mike invited us inside, muttering something to Jim I couldn't quite catch.

The apartment was smoky and crammed with people. I was overwhelmed when several users, introducing themselves by their aliases, immediately surrounded me. Jim stood next to me and announced loudly, "Yeah, I'm Phoenix's boyfriend."

I quickly corrected him. "Actually, we're just on a date."

Jim laughed uproariously as if I had made a joke. I turned from him and scanned the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of Scott.

An attractive young man caught my eye as he came up to introduce himself. "Hi, Phoenix. You know me as Greywolf, but my name is Glenn. It's a pleasure to meet you." I was rendered speechless as I shook his hand. For some reason, I had always envisioned a gray-haired gentleman whenever I typed to him, but his ocean blue eyes were hypnotizing.

I never knew high school math teachers could look so cute!

I was about to reply to Greywolf when Mike saddled up beside me. "Hey, Phoenix, can I mix you a drink?"

"Sure, that would be awesome." I figured a little alcohol might calm my frayed nerves. "Can you make it a screwdriver, Mike?"

"No problem, I'll be back in a jiff."

I turned my attention back to Greywolf, but Jim had already engaged him in a conversation about the recent Yellowstone fires. I scanned the crowd again but didn't see Scott.

_Where are you?_ I cried silently in my head.

Mike quickly returned with my beverage, and I took a long drink, downing a third of the glass. "That hit the spot. Thanks again, Mike."

"Anytime, Phoenix. I'm really glad you made it to the party. You had me worried there for a while." He patted me on the back before disappearing into the crowd.

The alcohol began its magic, loosening my tight muscles. The song _Hold Me Now_ , a favorite of mine by the Thompson Twins, drifted over the crowd and I began swaying to the beat. It didn't take long before I felt considerably more relaxed and happy.

Jim seemed encouraged by my new mood and put his arm around my waist, but I scooted out of his embrace. Instead of getting upset, he winked at me and rejoined the conversation with Greywolf. I noticed Greywolf stared at Jim oddly for a moment before directing his attention to Daisy who had just joined our group.

It turned out that Daisy was much older than I'd expected, with streaks of gray in her shoulder length ebony hair. However, the woman had a flirtatious smile that made her completely irresistible.

"So, Phoenix, what is your opinion about the fires?" Daisy asked pleasantly.

I took another sip of my drink. "I believe the fires were long overdue, but—"

I broke off mid-sentence when I saw Scott enter the room. He emerged from the hallway with several people following behind him. I surmised that he must have been showing them the computer that ran the bulletin board. Scott was speaking to an attractive girl with poofy hair, skin-tight gold spandex pants and ruby red lips.

I dreaded to see Scott's expression, unsure what his reaction would be when he finally caught a glimpse of me. I debated whether to hide in the crowd, but Mike made an announcement before I could disappear. "Hey, Scott, Phoenix finally made it!"

Scott turned towards me, and I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I could not look away.

I held my breath when our eyes met. I saw a spark of recognition and then a warm glint flit across his dark eyes. He walked towards me, and I began to float. I forgot about the room, the people, Jim—everything.

"I'm glad you decided to come, Beth. As you can tell, the party is a huge success." His smile melted my heart.

I looked up into those gorgeous eyes and didn't say a word. I _couldn't_ say anything because an incredible feeling washed over me, a feeling that ended when I heard my date's voice.

"So I hear you're The Keeper. Let me introduce myself. I'm Jim, Green Lantern on your board. I'm Phoenix's boyfriend." Jim put one arm around my waist and held out the other to shake Scott's hand.

I wanted to curl up and die. Again, I felt like a deer in the headlights but for completely different reasons.

Scott grasped his hand and shook briskly, his smile disappearing. "I'm not surprised Beth has a boyfriend, but I'm shocked it's you." What did he mean by that? Did Scott know him personally?

I quickly explained, "It's just a date."

Before Scott could respond, Jim pulled me away. "There's someone you have to meet, Phoenix. His name is Darkman..."

I looked back at Scott and saw that he was still watching us, but then the girl with the poofy hair touched his shoulder and he turned towards her. I could feel jealousy gnaw at my heart.

How I long to trade places with that girl!

Jim dragged me out to the small deck and joined in a conversation with two other people, neither of whom were named Darkman. I kept glancing at Scott through the sliding glass door. The girl hung near him and constantly whispered in his ear. When people tried to talk to Scott, she would maneuver her way in-between, always smiling pleasantly as she did so.

I hadn't wanted to come in the first place, and now the night was turning out as badly as I'd feared. I was the unwilling observer to a girl's flirtations towards a man who had captured my affections while Jim played the "loving boyfriend" at my side. Even though I was curious about the other BBS members, my stomach was in knots, and I wanted to go home.

I turned to Jim and told him. "I'm leaving."

He looked at me as if I were crazy. "What are you talking about? We've only been here twenty minutes."

"I don't care."

"Get serious. We're not leaving." Jim turned away to cut off any further argument.

"Fine. Stay if you want, but I'm out of here." I silently applauded myself for bringing separate cars. I turned to leave, but Jim grabbed my arm.

"Come on, Beth," he said, leading me forcibly to the kitchen. I reluctantly followed, wanting to avoid a scene in front of a bunch of strangers.

There were several people in the cramped kitchen standing over the food. Three of them were in a heated argument over Reaganomics with Mr. Ed, an older man with a military crew-cut who loudly defended the "trickle-down theory" to the vocal protests of the other two. I assumed Jim would ask them to leave so we could talk, but he poured a shot of tequila instead. "Here, drink this. It'll calm you down." He tried to hand it to me, but I baulked.

"I don't want it."

Jim poured himself a shot. "Come on, just take it." He smiled charmingly. "A toast to The Lighthouse." The people in the kitchen suddenly became interested and poured shots as well, holding up their glasses to toast.

I figured one shot wouldn't hurt, so I took it. Jim made the toast, the group clinked glasses, and we drank. The tequila burned going down my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. I quickly bit into the lime Jim handed me.

As soon as I finished, he poured another.

"One is enough for me," I said under my breath, so only he could hear.

Jim grinned. "You need to loosen up, Phoenix. We came here to have a good time, and I don't want you to leave yet."

Someone in the kitchen exclaimed, "What? You're thinking of leaving already?"

Mike protested, "You can't do that to us, Phoenix. You're the whole reason I came."

"Please don't go," Daisy pleaded from across the room.

Jim gave me a strange smile as he put the shot glass into my hand. Then Mike shouted, "Here's to Phoenix!" The group clinked my glass enthusiastically.

I was touched so many people wanted me to stay. The group cheered as I quickly gulped the fiery liquid. Luckily, it went down easier the second time and I could feel its heat numbing my body. The tequila, combined with the screwdriver I'd had earlier, was beginning to take effect.

Damn, I have to take a cab home now.

Despite the inconvenience, I liked my sudden popularity. When Jim handed me another shot, I held up the glass and twirled like a ballerina.

Mike started chanting, "Phoenix! Phoenix!" and the others in the kitchen joined in.

Not wanting to disappoint my fans, I slammed the tequila down and bit into the lime. "Oh yeah!" I hollered. Cheers rang throughout the apartment, and all the attention became centered on the irresistible redhead in the middle of the room. I reminded myself of Scarlett O'Hara with a ton of beaus and hardly a care in the world. How could these poor souls resist my feminine charms?

_Girls Just Want to Have Fun_ came on the radio. I loved Lauper's playful song, and it matched my mood perfectly. I glided through the crowd to an empty spot in the living room.

"Turn up the music!" I shouted as I attempted to dance. Unfortunately, my balance was a little off because of my tipsy state. I ended up crashing into the large wooden coffee table and falling to the floor. It took a while for the pain to register, but when it did, I cried out pathetically, "Owie, owie, owie..."

The apartment erupted in laughter at my expense, but I didn't care. No, I giggled because it was funny. I looked up to see Jim laughing. Scott, on the other hand, did not look amused, and my heart dropped.

Jim grabbed my shot glass off the kitchen counter and filled it with more tequila. He started towards me, but Scott stopped him midway. "Enough."

"Mind your own business," Jim growled as he brushed past him and squatted down next to me. "Do another, Phoenix."

"I'm done," I told him, turning away. I adjusted my dress and tried to stand up despite the fact the floor seemed much easier to manage. I didn't get far.

"Come on, you know you want it," Jim said, stealing a kiss before lifting the glass to my mouth. I was vaguely aware I was _way_ past my 'happy place' with the alcohol. The room began spinning.

"She said she's had enough," Scott snarled.

I felt everyone's eyes on me. I took the glass, attempting to make light of the situation. "Here's to a girl..." I held up the shot high above me, "a girl who just wants to have fun." My hand shook a little as I brought it to my lips. Before I could take the sip, the glass was taken from me.

"You've had enough."

His voice cut through my drunken haze like a beacon of light. Gentle hands lifted me up and I melted into his embrace. I looked up at my champion as he carried me out of the room.

He looked so darn cute. I couldn't resist reaching up and poking his mustache. I slurred my words when I asked, "Would that tickle if you kissed me?"

Scott's lips twitched, but he said nothing as he carried me to a bedroom. The soft bed enveloped me in comfort, and I then felt warm hands tuck a blanket around me before the lights turned off, leaving me in soothing darkness. I heard the door shut quietly, but angry voices thundered just outside the room.

"Leave her be."

"You better not lay a finger on her. She's mine!"

"She is not a possession, you idiot."

"I'm going to punch you out if you don't move!"

"Try it."

"Why don't you two just calm down..."

I covered my ears, needing to succumb to the darkness. I woke up later and tried unsuccessfully to get up. I was vaguely aware of throwing up just before I passed out again.

##    
The Morning After

I slowly became aware of my surroundings. The first thing I noticed was the smell of vomit. As soon as it hit my nose, I knew I was going to lose it and threw up over the side of the bed. I whimpered as I wiped my mouth and lay back down.

The light coming through the curtain at the other end of the room seemed far too bright. I groaned, looking up at the ceiling. There was a light fixture in the middle of it with the cover layered in dust and dead insects. I wanted to puke again, but successfully resisted the urge.

I listened, but there were no voices or sounds of movement outside the room. I looked around and saw posters of Pink Floyd and Metallica, as well as a cross on the wall. Panic seized me. I assumed that Jim had taken me home, but this was not my place. My foggy brain slowly sifted through the night's events and concluded that I was still at Scott's apartment.

I groaned, wondering how I was going to get home when I was too sick to get out of bed. A wave of despair and humiliation engulfed me. I couldn't understand how I'd gotten myself into this mess. This wasn't who I was at all!

A chill ran down my spine when I heard footsteps coming. The door opened and I looked up to see Scott standing in the doorway. Tears streamed down my face as I faced him, filled with shame. Instead of looking at me in disgust, he came over and gathered me in his arms. When the tears finally subsided, he pulled away.

"Let's get you cleaned up, Beth."

He helped me out of his bed and into the bathroom. Taking a warm washcloth, he gently cleaned my face with it. Then he turned on the shower and played with the knobs until he was satisfied with the temperature.

Scott helped me up, saying, "I'll leave you alone so you can shower."

"Thanks..." I mumbled. I attempted to get undressed, but felt violently ill and had to vomit in the toilet. I couldn't help crying as Scott patiently cleaned me up a second time.

He turned off the shower. "Maybe we'll try that when you feel a little better." He picked me up in his solid arms and carried me into the living room, placing me on the couch. "You rest here while I take care of the room."

I struggled to sit up. "I can't let you do that."

He gently pushed me back down. "Don't worry about it. I want you to recover, so stay here and do that for me." He gave me a glass of water before he headed to his room and began cleaning the mess I'd made.

Oh, the humiliation!

I planned to get up in a few minutes to help, but found myself waking hours later to the sound of Scott typing in the other room. I gingerly got up and noticed my queasiness had subsided. My head still ached, but I was able to walk over to the door and lean against the frame. I watched Scott at his computer for a few seconds. He must have sensed my presence because he turned around and smiled.

"Well, I see you're feeling better. I thought you might sleep all day considering how much you drank last night."

I burned with shame. "I never drank that much in my life. I don't know what was wrong with me last night. I'm really sorry."

"No need to apologize. However, I must say I don't think much of your date. He was egging you on, even after it was obvious you were too drunk to stand."

I looked down at the floor and didn't make an effort to defend Jim. I dreaded his answer to my next question, but asked, "Scott, I don't remember much of last night. What did I do? I mean, did I do anything embarrassing?" I laughed miserably. "I can only imagine what everyone must think."

"The worst that happened was you crawling on the floor crying 'owie'. I carried you to bed after that. Most people left thinking that your boyfriend is a real ass."

He's not my boyfriend!

I smiled weakly. "So what happened to Jim? It's pretty obvious he left without me."

"After I put you to bed I asked him to leave. He wouldn't budge, telling me I had over-stepped my bounds. He insisted on taking you home, but I wouldn't allow it and then he went ballistic. Glenn threatened to take him out back when he wouldn't calm down, but Mike eventually convinced Jim to leave without a fight. The party didn't last long after that."

"I ruined your party? I'm so sorry, Scott. I knew I shouldn't have come."

"I'm not sorry you came. I'm just sorry things turned out the way they did." He smiled at me with those captivating gray eyes and the butterflies started. "It's no great loss. I'll have another party."

The phone rang, and Scott got up to answer it. As soon as he heard the voice on the other end, his expression turned hostile. He held the phone out to me. "It's Jim. He wants to talk to you. Do you want me to tell him where to go?"

I blushed and ran over to the phone. "What do you want, Jim?"

"Don't you think you should be home by now? I went by your apartment this morning and saw you weren't there. I didn't expect you to remain at Scott's all night." He paused for a moment and then added in an insinuating tone, "What have the two of you been doing over there?"

My head pounded painfully as my heart rate sped up. "What?! If it hadn't been for you, I would have left early last night. I can't forgive you for what you did."

"Forgive me? Don't even go there! You were the one crawling all over the floor making a fool of yourself."

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the image. I turned away from Scott and hissed into the phone, "And you helped to get me that way, Jim. I don't even want to talk to you right now!" I slammed the phone down hard onto the receiver, trembling with anger.

Scott came up from behind and put his hands on my shoulders. "Why don't you go take that shower now? It'll help you feel better. You can wear one of my shirts, and I think I have a pair of shorts that might fit if you tie the drawstring tight."

I closed my eyes, revealing in his closeness, wanting it to linger as long as possible but he patted my shoulder and said, "I'll get your clothes in the wash while you shower."

When he moved away, I turned around and flashed him a sincere smile. "Thanks. You've been wonderful about all this, Scott. I'm really sorry."

"Not a problem. Go shower." He gently pushed me in the direction of his bathroom. I handed Scott my clothes from behind the door in exchange for his, then I locked it, anxious to get clean. The hot water felt wonderfully refreshing as it streamed down my body, and I didn't budge until the water began to turn cold.

I wrapped myself in an oversized towel and then combed my wet hair, trying to see what I looked like through the foggy mirror. I desperately wished I had some makeup, but realized Scott had seen me at my ultimate worst, so it really didn't matter. I looked under his sink and found a dusty, old hair dryer. I wondered if it belonged to a past girlfriend's and felt a twinge of unwelcome jealousy.

I put on his large shorts and laughed as I had to pull and pull to get the strings tight enough. Then I lifted his shirt over my head and let it drop. I completely drowned in it. Even though I looked ridiculous, I felt at home in his clothes. I brushed through my hair one more time before opening the door.

I was shocked to hear a woman's voice coming from the computer room. I cautiously peeked in and saw the poofy haired girl from the night before. Scott was sitting at his computer with the brunette hunched over him, looking at the screen.

He glanced at the door, and his eyes lit up. "Hey Beth, this is Carrie. She's known as Tranquility on the board. You may remember seeing her last night."

Carrie looked me over, her lips in a thin, judgmental line. "Oh yes, you're Green Lantern's girl. You don't look so good. Not feeling okay after last night's binge, huh?" She gave me a condescending half-smirk that Scott couldn't see as she rubbed his arm in a possessive manner.

I was not amused by her stupid games and ignored her, speaking to Scott instead. "Guess I'll be going now. Thanks for everything." I turned to leave, feeling utterly deflated. I had wanted to talk to Scott— _really_ talk, but with Carrie there I couldn't. I left the two of them in the computer room and gathered my things, but Scott came out before I'd made it to the door.

"Beth, your clothes are still drying downstairs."

I was desperate to leave, but decided it would be foolish not to wait a few minutes longer. "I suppose I could sit on the couch until it's finished."

Scott sat down with me and graced me with one of his irresistible smiles. "I understand you need to leave, but I hope we can talk later." He wrote his number on a scrap of paper and handed it to me. "You can call anytime, but keep in mind, I'll be leaving Wednesday. I've got a demonstration in Detroit this week."

Carrie came out of the computer room. "How long are you going to be, Scott?" She tried to sound casual, but I could see she was unhappy that I was still there.

"I need to get Beth's clothes out of the dryer." His tone stopped her from asking any more questions.

"That's okay, I'll get them myself," I offered, not wanting to cause him further trouble.

"I insist," he responded gallantly. I couldn't hide my grateful smile as I followed Scott down to the complex's communal laundry room.

While we walked, I screwed up the courage to ask him about Carrie. "So how did the two of you meet?"

He looked down at me with a hint of a smile. I knew I wasn't fooling him with my probing question. "I met her on the board about six months ago. Lately, she's been having problems with her outdated PCjr, so I offered to let her use my computer whenever hers is on the fritz. Really, I can't believe she has the patience for that old thing. Her modem is excruciatingly slow and would drive me nuts."

My eyes glazed over as soon as he mentioned the word computer, so I changed the subject. "What does Carrie do for a living?"

"I'm not sure, but I think she's a hairstylist." The fact he didn't know what she did for a living made me think they weren't serious as a couple, and I breathed a happy sigh.

Scott entered the laundry room and rescued my clothes from the dryer. He had a bemused look on his face when he handed them to me. I had a sneaking suspicion he found my questions entertaining, but he didn't discourage them.

I had no desire want to see Carrie again, but I had to go back upstairs to retrieve my purse and change. I went directly to Scott's bathroom and quickly slipped out of his comfortable clothes and back into my dress—The Dress of My Disgrace. There was no doubt it was destined for the Goodwill after my humiliating night.

I folded his clothes neatly, laying them on his bathroom counter. I walked out, wanting to say good-bye before I left. I heard Scott rummaging through his kitchen cupboards, but Carrie was standing in the hallway and I could tell by her expression that she was worried I might stay longer.

The girl looked me up and down with a smug look before calling out, "Hey, Scott, did you find my bracelet? I must have left it here last week."

"No, I haven't seen it, but I'll keep my eyes open," he answered.

The image of my ex fiancé in bed with another instantly popped in my mind, making me feel stupid and unjustifiably betrayed. I raced past Carrie and out the door without a word to Scott. I was disgusted with him, with me, and the whole situation. I got in my car and took off, refusing to look back.

When I arrived home, I was surprised to see five messages waiting on my answering machine. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear them and avoided the machine for a few minutes, but my curiosity got the best of me. I pressed the button and watched the tape turn while it played the messages back.

The first was from Angie.

"Hey, girl! Sooo... how did it go? I want to hear all the juicy details as soon as possible. Don't keep me waiting! Kisses."

I was too exhausted to talk and promised myself I would call her during my break the next day. The next was a short message from Jim. It was obviously _before_ he called me at Scott's.

"Beth, pick up. I need to talk to you. Please, pick up... Don't do this to me."

The third was from my mom.

"Hello, Beth, this is your mother. I haven't heard from you in a while, and wanted to know how things are going. It would be nice if you would take the time to call."

I picked up the phone out of guilt, but before I dialed the number, I put it back down. I didn't have it in me to talk to anyone, especially to my mother.

The fourth message was another from Jim.

"I don't understand how you can be pissed at me! You do realize everyone is talking about you today. [ _Angry laughter_ ] I can't believe you tell me you're 'not that kind of girl' and then you give yourself away to another man. You can't forgive me? Well, Beth, I can't forgive you!"

Jim's anger shocked me, and I couldn't believe his accusations, but then I thought about it. Last night was a result of my failed breakup. I should never have let Jim convince me to go to the party. I made a mental note not to give any more second chances in the romance department— _ever_.

I was relieved to hear Scott's voice on the last message.

"Hey, Beth. Looks as if I've called before you've made it back home. I'm a bit surprised you left without saying good-bye. [ _Pause_ ] I hoped to talk to you in person, but my boss called a few minutes ago and told me I have to fly out this afternoon. I still want to talk, so if you get this message before four give me a call."

I glanced at my watch and saw it was twelve minutes after four. I looked through my purse and found the paper with his number. Although I suspected it was too late, I called anyway, but hung up after fifteen rings.

I dragged myself to bed and collapsed. I was too worn out to move. When I stirred again, my apartment was shrouded in darkness. I hadn't eaten all day, but my stomach was churning. I made a grilled cheese sandwich and forced myself to eat it while I stared at my computer. I had lovingly nicknamed it The Beast and now felt a certain fondness for the ugly hunk of technology.

I wondered if Scott had left me an e-mail. After sucking the melted butter off my fingers, I got up and turned it on. I decided that if he hadn't written me, I would still leave a message for him. There was no doubt I had overreacted to the whole situation with Carrie, and I wanted to apologize. I couldn't let the one person sweet enough to rescue me in my hour of need slip through my fingers because of my irrational jealousy.

I logged onto the board and saw I had three e-mails waiting. Unfortunately, the first was an angry message from Jim.

Dear (and I use the term loosely) Beth,

I hope you are happy. I can't believe I had feelings for someone like you. You claim that you aren't a girl who plays games, but you sure outplayed me.

You were a total tease, denying me any action because you're "not that kind of girl".

Well, it turns out you are nothing but a lying tramp. Don't bother calling.

\--Jim

I hated how Jim made me feel. Part of me desperately wanted to defend myself, but I realized it would be easier to let it end like this. I hit the delete key and moved on.

The next e-mail was from Mike. My first instinct was to delete it, but then I remembered Scott telling me that Mike helped Jim leave the party peacefully. Reading his e-mail was the least I could do:

Phoenix,

I'm sorry things went so badly for you last night. Your boyfriend is a complete knee-biter. You should get rid of the guy. I'd be happy to replace him.

By the way, you make a cute drunk.

\--Runner (that's Mike to you!)

I was embarrassed by his comment, but thanked him for taking care of Jim. I went back and erased a witty remark I made concerning Mike replacing Jim before I sent it. I didn't need Mike thinking I was serious about his offer.

The last e-mail in the queue was a short message from Scott written at 3:55, just before he left for the airport.

Beth,

I'm assuming you haven't called because you didn't get my message yet. You left so abruptly this afternoon, I wasn't sure what happened. I'm going to call tomorrow after I finish with my work. Hopefully you'll be home so we can talk.

Sincerely,

Scott

I felt a flood of relief knowing I wouldn't have to wait a week to talk to him. But Monday night seemed ages away. I felt certain that once we talked everything would work itself out. Until then, I would just have to suffer.

##    
It's Over or Is It?

Monday was difficult to struggle through. I was so tired from the weekend that I had little energy for my students. It took everything I had just to handle typical hiccups throughout the day.

"Tasha, you know you're not supposed to put crayons in the sharpener. Now poor Miss Lynn is going to have to clean it out."

"Bobby, no tipping. How many times do I have to tell you that? You know how unsafe it is. That's right, all four legs on the floor... Bobby!"

"Okay, class, let's come to the carpet for story time." I sang out my little reminder, "Crisscross, apple sauce, spoons in the bowl. Christina, where are you spoons supposed to be? In the bowl, that's right. Then why are you braiding Julia's hair? Please keep your spoons to yourself."

I looked at the clock, counting down the minutes to the last bell. When it finally sounded, I rushed my kids out the door, but Bobby took an extra ten minutes to get all his stuff ready to go. After I'd ushered... no, _pushed_ him out the door, I finished writing my lesson plans for the next day. Because I hadn't graded papers over the weekend, I grabbed a huge stack to take home with me.

I was almost out the door when I heard an announcement on the intercom reminding the staff about a special meeting taking place in the cafeteria. I groaned, knowing it could take up to two hours. All I wanted was to go home and wait for Scott's call, but I dutifully changed direction and headed to the cafeteria.

I sat and watched the seconds slowly tick by as we were informed about budget cuts and sacrifices that needed to be made within the school. Mrs. Russell tried to sound optimistic, but it was a depressing ordeal. Before I left, I signed up to join a committee in charge of coming up with creative ways to deal with the new cuts. I doubted we could make a difference, but I had to make an attempt. I knew my job was on the line.

I checked my answering machine as soon as I got home and was relieved to see there were no messages. I glanced over at the huge stack of papers I'd brought home and winced. At least it would give me something to do while I waited. Halfway through my homework, the phone rang.

"Hi, Scott!" I blurted without waiting to make sure who it was.

Scott chuckled. "Hello, Beth."

"I can't believe you're calling long distance. This could end up costing a fortune."

"I'm not worried about the money, and I'm glad you're home. I didn't feel good about yesterday."

"Me either, you were so wonderful to me. I shouldn't have left without at least saying good-bye."

"You did leave me wondering what happened."

"I'm sorry." I didn't want to admit to my jealous streak, so I explained, "I wasn't feeling myself."

"That's certainly understandable." Scott paused for a moment. "Have you talked to Jim recently?"

"No, but he left several messages." I hesitated, unsure how much to share. I decided to keep it simple. "Jim doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'm just glad it's over."

"I'm relieved to hear that, Beth."

I remembered Scott's odd comment at the party. "Do you know him?"

"I don't know him personally, but I've heard rumors from other SysOps."

"What kind of rumors?"

"Let's just say he doesn't have a good reputation."

I needed him to clarify. "What do you mean exactly?"

Scott didn't answer me right away, and when he spoke, it seemed he was picking his words carefully. "According to the other SysOps, Jim's been intimate with quite a few female users. The number is so high, in fact, that he has been nicknamed Casanova by the Denver SysOps. Understand, Beth, I don't give credence to rumors, and give everyone the benefit of the doubt when they ask to join The Lighthouse. However, if they prove a menace to anyone in my group, I delete them off the board. I'm going to delete Jim unless you say otherwise."

"No, please don't. I would feel bad. He really likes your BBS."

"Then you should know that I'll be watching him carefully from now on. If he messes with any of my users again, he's gone."

I felt like such an idiot. Jim didn't care about me; he saw me as just another notch on his bedpost. The revelation left me speechless. Scott wisely changed the subject to something he knew I loved. "So tell me about your day at school."

I gladly switched topics. There was an easy, comfortable flow to the conversation which made me feel as if I were talking to someone I'd known for years. I asked Scott about his day, and learned that the account he was working on was extremely important.

"I believe in our product, Beth, and I know it would really benefit this company. Still, I think it's going to be a tough sell. With the economy struggling like it is, companies are hesitant to invest in their future right now. We need their business, and they need our product, so I hope I can convince them to loosen those purse strings temporarily."

The conversation became more personal and enlightening when I asked, "So where did you go to college? I went to the University of Montana. It's no Harvard, but it got me the degree I needed."

"Yeah, actually I didn't go to a traditional college. I decided to take on various jobs until I found something that sparked my passion. Once I landed on it, I found the quickest route for my degree, took out several loans, and worked at Wendy's to get by." He added in a nasal voice, "Hey, miss, you want fries with that? I guarantee they're fresh and perfectly salted."

"I swoon," I answered playfully.

His chuckle was low and endearing. "So anyway, I'm still paying off my student loans, but I don't regret a single decision. I'm exactly where I want to be career-wise. How many people can say that at my age?"

"Funny, I feel the same way. I've wanted to be a teacher since I was a little kid. I love my job and wouldn't change a thing, even though the pay isn't great."

"Unfortunately, my sister hasn't found her calling yet, but it hasn't stopped Jeannie from enjoying life."

I liked that he was sharing about his family. "How many siblings do you have?"

"Just my sis, my parents split up when I was young." His tone let me know the topic was off limits. "Well, it's getting late here."

I glanced at my clock and saw it was already past eleven. "Oh wow, you're right."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. And Beth, expect a small surprise tomorrow." Before I could question him on it, I heard the buzz of the dial tone.

My eyes drifted over to my half-finished stack of papers, and I let out a huge sigh. Oh well, they'd just have to wait. I got ready for bed and curled up under my soft comforter. I was curious what his surprise would be and couldn't stop thinking about it. I finally decided Scott would leave a message on The Lighthouse. I was determined to check in the morning before I left for work. With that mystery solved, I could finally rest. I fell asleep that night with a smile on my lips, knowing somebody cared about me.

Unfortunately, I woke up late the next morning and had to scramble out of bed. There was no time to take a shower or mess with my makeup. I drove over the speed limit just to get to school on time. I was upset I hadn't gotten a chance to look for Scott's message and that I now had to wait the entire school day.

To add to my deplorable morning, I received a message from the secretary saying one of my parents was unhappy and wanted to talk with me. I spent my lunch on the phone explaining why Bobby had been sent to the principal's office for clogging three toilets with paper towels.

My students were just finishing their graphs on weather when I heard a knock at the classroom door. Ashley, the classroom door monitor, dutifully put down her colored pencils to answer it. I was shocked to see an elegant bouquet of flowers coming through the doorway. The secretary carrying it wore a big smile on her face.

All of my kids said, "OOOOooooooo," as I took the vase from her.

"Who is it from, Miss Lynn?" Kyle asked.

The other students started parroting, "Who's it from? Who's it from?"

I turned beet red as I took the card out of the envelope.

Surprise, beautiful!

Have a great day.

From The Keep

I looked up and grinned at my class of twenty-five. They looked at me expectantly, so I answered, "Well, class, they're from a new friend of mine."

Kaitlyn squealed, "A new BOYfriend!" The class broke out in giggles.

I thanked the secretary, then started the task of settling down the troops. I couldn't help smiling the rest of the day. Every time I looked at the bouquet of irises and white roses, my heart soared. I was overwhelmed by Scott's sweet gesture. I would have never guessed that his little surprise would be so delightfully romantic.

When Scott called that night, I gushed with thanks. "Oh, Scott, they're beautiful! You shouldn't have, but I'm so glad you did!"

"I take it you got my surprise?"

"I certainly did. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've never gotten flowers at school before. I was so surprised, and they're so beautiful, too."

"I think you already said that," said Scott, sounding amused.

"Oh, yeah." I giggled. "But they _are_ beautiful and...um...well, thanks."

He chuckled good-naturedly. "I'm glad you like them."

"I do, I really do. If you were here right now, I'd hug you."

"Then it's a real shame I'm all the way over in Detroit. Damn."

I giggled again. "Well, I'll hug you when you get back."

"Great, I'll be counting on it."

"Since you already know I had a great day, why don't you tell me about yours?"

Scott talked about the setbacks he'd had; the conversation was another long one lasting well into the night. Finally, he wished me goodnight. "I hope you have pleasant dreams."

"You, too, I already know what I'll be dreaming about," I said with a wide grin.

"What?"

"A white knight bringing me flowers."

I heard Scott's laughter as he hung up the phone. I smiled to myself, pleased with the day and our conversation. I didn't feel tired, but I went to bed anyway. I soon realized sleep was impossible, so I got back out of bed and went to my computer. When I logged on, I was surprised to see that I had e-mail waiting from Jim. I was afraid to read it, but my damnable curiosity wouldn't allow me to ignore it.

Dear Beth,

I'm still upset about what happened, but I miss my pretty little Phoenix. I want to see you out on the dance floor in my arms. We're good together.

I know we both said things we regret. Give me a call as soon as you read this. Let's talk ASAP.

Love,

Jim

After everything he'd said and done, why was he was doing a complete turnaround? Now that I knew Jim for what he was, I was desperate to avoid the man at all costs. I erased his message, hitting the delete key a little too hard several times.

I was almost asleep when the phone rang. I felt sick to my stomach. I knew it was Jim, and I didn't want to talk. The phone continued to ring, but I didn't make a move to answer it. Eventually, my answering machine picked up, and I heard Angie's voice. I breathed a sigh of relief and jumped out of bed.

"Hey, girl, I thought you were avoiding me or something!" she accused.

"I'm sorry, Ang. Things were crazy today." I blushed, knowing I had completely forgotten to call her.

"I've been trying to reach you all night, but I kept getting a busy signal. How did the party go?"

I groaned and then explained everything.

"Girl, I'm so glad it's over with Jim."

"Yeah, I know. Turns out you were right about him after all." I hated to admit she was right because it made me feel like a chump. "If you can believe it, he left a message tonight saying he wants to get back together. I just wish Jim would leave me alone now. I don't want to see the man ever again."

"Ignore him completely and he'll get the message. Trust me."

"I hope you're right," I said doubtfully. Something told me Jim was not the type to go away easily, but he was not my main concern. "You know what else is bothering me, Ang? That hot brunette Mike talked about when we were decorating for the party. I've never felt so jealous of another person in my life."

"So the green-eyed monster is showing its face, is it?" she giggled.

I paused before admitting my true feelings. "It's hard because I don't want to hurt the woman, but I _really_ like Scott."

"Like really, really?"

"Yep."

"Well, how serious is their relationship?"

"According to what Scott said she only comes over to use his computer, but I certainly don't get that vibe from her."

"It's probably wishful thinking on her part."

"That's what I'm hoping. I keep telling myself it's the same kind of situation I have with Jim, but... there's always a chance Scott is trying to play the field, and I don't want to put myself through that again."

"Beth, I know your ex fiancé did a number on you, but you can't keep running scared."

"I want to agree with you, except the first guy I date after Mark turns out to be a total Casanova. I have the worst luck with men." The phone cord stretched to accommodate as I wilted to the ground. "It's hopeless, Ang."

"Maybe..." she joked. "However, I told you I didn't like Jim. I like this Scott character, even if he _is_ a computer nerd."

I smiled to myself. "Scott is a strange combination, isn't he? Not socially awkward, but still knows a lot about computers. And he was so sweet to send flowers."

"Guess what? I just had a brilliant idea, Miss Lynn!"

"Lay it on me," I replied, although I knew her brilliant ideas were never _that_ brilliant.

"What if we get Jim and Carrie to hook up?"

"No." I laughed miserably. "I couldn't do that to Carrie."

"But you've rejoined the world of dating, my friend. It has the tendency to bring out our darker side," she told me with an evil laugh.

"Very funny, Ang." I struggled to stand back up. "On that note, I think I'll say good-night. Thanks for listening."

"I'm happy to listen anytime, but don't forget to call me next time."

I cleared my throat loudly. "What? Me forget to call? Never happen!"

"Yeah, right..."

Wednesday was a typical day at school. Bobby's baseball cards fell into a puddle during recess, Miriam scraped her knee at lunch, and Tasha lost a tooth. I went to the first committee meeting on the new budget and tried to remain optimistic, even though my chances of teaching next year looked slim to none.

Thankfully, having the flowers in my classroom brightened my entire outlook and made everything okay. I left school with a happy heart.

When I arrived home, I set my stack of papers to grade on the coffee table and sat down to plow through them, but I happened to glance over and noticed I had two messages on my machine. The first was from my mother who questioned if I'd been abducted by aliens. The second was from Jim.

"Hey Beth, have you checked the board? I wrote you an email, but I haven't heard back from you. I'm coming by after work so we can discuss it."

A tingling sensation coursed through my body, and my heart began palpitating at the thought of seeing Jim again. I called his work phone hoping to persuade Jim not to come, but he didn't answer. I was tempted to leave my apartment and avoid him, but realized it would be foolish. I was going to have to face him eventually, so I sat down and attempted to grade papers. After the six o'clock news, I heard the doorbell.

I gave a nervous sigh and got up from the table. I opened the door to Jim's scowling face. Before I could invite him in, he brushed past me. It was already off to a bad start.

"Beth, why haven't you called?" He turned to face me and said accusingly, "I know you saw that message on the board."

I almost ran for it, but reason took over, and I slowly shut the door. He already had me on the defensive; however, I was determined to remain calm. "First of all, Jim, I don't appreciate you barging into my apartment, but now that you're here, we will discuss things in a civilized manner."

"It's all I've wanted since Saturday night. I know if we talk this out, calmly and rationally, things can go back to the way they were."

Was he nuts?

"There is nothing to work out. I don't trust you anymore and just want to be left alone."

He stared at me in disbelief. I met his stare, hoping my eyes conveyed how serious I was.

"Beth, I love you. Don't throw that away like it's nothing."

"I don't believe you."

Jim threw his hands up. "Of course, the first time I say it to a girl she doesn't believe me!"

But I wasn't buying it. "Actions speak louder than words, Jim. You hurt me the night of the party. Why did you do that?"

"Look, I'm sorry, but you promised you would give me a chance and then you wanted to leave right away. I had to do something to get you to stay."

"That was one of the most humiliating nights of my life and you were a part of it. I can't forget that."

"Okay. It was a mistake, I admit it." He looked at me beseechingly. "I was desperate, Beth!"

"You say that, but then you accuse me of sleeping with another guy. I would never do that. Do you realize how much that hurt?"

"I'm a jealous person, Beth. I can't help it. What would you think if I stayed at another girl's house?"

"After I helped get you drunk and you passed out?" My voice dripped with self-righteous sarcasm, "Hmm, let me think...that I'm an ass."

"I screwed up, but it's only because I love you."

I shook my head, not believing a word he said. "But you don't love me, Jim. I'm just something you want to conquer."

Jim looked at me suspiciously. "Did The Keeper say something to you? Whatever he told you is a lie."

I almost got sidetracked, but this wasn't about what Scott had said. "My feelings are based on how _you've_ treated me. You claim to love me, but you don't make me feel loved. I feel pursued, but definitely not loved."

"Look, I can change. Just give me a chance." I wanted to interrupt, but he held his finger up to silence me. "Beth, I can be what you need."

"No, Jim, you can't."

He put his hands up in a gesture of surrender and grinned. "Okay, okay, what do you really want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you."

Jim closed his eyes. "Don't...please, don't do this."

It needed to be a clean break this time. "Take the beast, I mean the computer. I'll gather the other things you gave me while you disassemble it."

Jim stared at me with a pained expression. "No, Beth, I gave them to you as gifts. I don't want any of it back."

I suddenly felt bad. I hadn't expected Jim to take it so hard, or for him to be generous afterwards. I hated to see him hurting, and I began to have second thoughts.

It scared me.

As much as I didn't want to hurt him, I had to before I lost my nerve. "I'm sorry, Jim." I walked to the door and opened it. He stood there frozen, with a stunned look on his face.

I didn't move a muscle as a light breeze drifted through the door and played with my hair. I couldn't trust myself to say anything. Finally, he seemed to break out of his trance. He walked over and stood in front of me.

"You are making a terrible mistake."

I was taken aback when his lips pressed against mine in a hard, desperate kiss.

"Stop!" I cried, pushing him away.

Jim looked like a dejected puppy, his blue eyes tearing up. He turned from me and rushed out the door. I shut and locked it behind him before sinking to the floor. I had expected to feel a great sense of relief breaking up with Jim, but instead I felt icky and confused.

The ringing of the phone finally broke through my melancholy. "What's wrong?" Scott asked as soon as he heard my voice.

"Jim came over tonight."

Scott didn't speak for several seconds. "I thought he broke it off."

"He changed his mind. I had to make it painfully clear that it's over."

I heard the concern in Scott's voice when he asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I answered dully. "But it was harder than I thought."

"Beth."

"Yes, Scott?"

"I debated if I should send a reply the night I got the email that the two of you were dating. I wasn't sure how you felt about Jim, and I detest spreading rumors, but maybe I could have prevented what happened if I had shared what I'd heard. I apologize if it was the wrong decision."

"No, Scott, you did the right thing." I was actually glad he hadn't told me anything about Jim. I knew myself too well. I had a weakness for underdogs and a dangerous stubborn streak. I could imagine I might have stayed with Jim just to prove that people were wrong about the guy. It had happened before.

Scott interrupted my thoughts. "Why don't you tell me what trouble your rug rats got into today?"

I appreciated the change of subject. "No trouble today, but have you ever lost a tooth at school?"

"I can't say that I have."

"It's quite a momentous event, let me tell you."

Scott easily brought out my funk as we spent another night talking. When it came time to end the call, I whispered, "Thanks, Scott."

"Anytime, Beth. If you need an ear I'm just a phone call away, and don't concern yourself about the cost. Trust me, I can handle the phone bills. Not a problem."

I lay in bed that night thinking back on my breakup with Jim. His reluctance to end our relationship shocked me. We'd only dated a little over a month, so I was convinced his whole declaration of love was simply a calculated tactic to get me in bed. However, I couldn't forget the hurt puppy look in his eye when he left. So I thought about all the women he'd dumped, and convinced myself that he'd needed a taste of his own medicine.

I hoped Jim would learn something valuable from the experience. As awful as it had been, at least it was over.

I woke up the next morning feeling like a prisoner set free from her shackles. It was the start of a brand new day and a future of limitless possibilities.

I was blissfully unaware of the truth at that point ~ I was a Phoenix.

### * The entire story is now available in eBook and paperback

### Books Michelle Stevens has written:

Phoenix of the Heart

* Available in eBook and paperback

Currently Available in eBook

The sequel to Phoenix of the Heart

The Love Endures serial

Love Endures, Phoenix #1

Enjoy life by embracing the sadness as well as the happiness. It's all a part of being on this earth. ~ Mrs. Pinkerton

About the Author Michelle Stevens

Michelle lives by the beautiful Rockies with her husband and three children. She grew up in the 80s and still has fondness for that era. She was a schoolteacher for many years, but always dreamed of writing.

