-Joel, how have you been?
Thank you for coming back
and seeing us.
-Thank you for having me.
And thank you for the greatest
audience on the planet.
-Oh, my goodness.
[ Cheers and applause ]
That's pandering.
-It's just pandering.
-It's just pandering.
-It's pandering, just pandering.
You look terrific, by the way.
-Thank you very much.
It's a lot of Botox.
-No.
Just down the center.
-Just on one side.
-Weird.
-Well, I start with the left
side and see if I like it,
you know, and then, if I lik
it, then I'll do the right side.
Yeah.
-Oh, all right.
-Yeah, this is how I smile
[ Laughter ]
Hey, thank you for being her
because I'm happy that you're --
-No, thank you.
-No, thank you.
-Thank you for the blackout.
-Now, is that a --
Is that ring --
What is it?
-Oh, yeah.
No, you've inspired this -
This is my wedding ring,
you guys.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah, sorry, ladies.
Yeah, it's made of rubber,
because after hearing -- seein
what happened with your finger
and you had a metal ring
that got caught
and turned your finger
into a little deli.
[ Laughter ]
And I said, "I'm getting --"
I got rid of my ring.
-I'm so happy you did that
-Yeah, I got rid of my ring,
dated for a few months,
and then -- No.
-That's ridiculous.
-No, so I bought the rubber one.
-Oh, I'm so happy you have that.
Good for you.
I think rings are too --
They're too strong.
-Yes, I agree.
I mean, you are the perfect --
You should be the spokesperson
for rubber rings.
-Thank you.
See, that's the nicest thing
that anyone's ever said.
-I will talk to them.
I know that you need the money
so I will --
I know you need
a couple extra bucks.
-You know why -- You know wh
I'm happy that you're here
Because I'm happy
that you're alive.
-Oh, thank you.
-And survived what I think
is one of the craziest thing
anyone's ever done.
You swam with sharks.
-Oh, I thought
you were going to say
have coffee with butter in it,
but, no.
-[ Laughs ]
That's up there.
That's up there.
That's number two, but --
-Yeah.
Or texted without autocorrect,
so, yeah.
-Explain --
-That's a shark.
-That's -- That's real.
-That's a great white
right there.
-That is not.
-That's a great white.
That's a great white.
-That is Nemo.
-That's a great white.
Back me up on this.
-Yes, of course.
-Yeah, okay, that's me.
As you can see, that is --
I'm smelling fear, and I -
-What was this --
This is Shark Week?
-No, it's called midlife crisis.
[ Laughter ]
-I've seen that show, yeah
I'm starring in it right now
yeah.
-Shark Week, Rob Riggle
is hosting this special
called "Shark Trip:
Eat. Prey. Chum."
And we --
There's five celebrities,
who we all die.
And --
-I love Rob Riggle.
He's a funny guy.
-He's so funny,
and then it's Anthony Anderson
and Damon Wayans Jr.
and Adam DeVine.
They said, "Would you like
to go to the Bahamas
and swim with sharks?"
And that seemed
like a good idea.
And then -- then they said
"Do you know how to scuba dive?"
And I was like, "Yeah."
And they go, "Really?"
And I was like, "No."
And so then they go, "Great.
And -- No, and then we went down
there, and there's 25 sharks
There's ch-- And all --
As well, our shark expert
is missing a hand and foot
-Stop it.
-Which --
-Stop it.
-Yeah.
Which you go,
"Are you really an expert?
-Yeah.
"Expert," in air quotes.
-Right, and Anthony Anderson was
there, who I thought I was -
I thought I was outgoing
like a golden retriever,
like, always wanting approva
from people.
He walks through -- We wer
at this place called Atlantis.
He walks through the casino.
Everyone starts recognizing him,
and he's like, "Are we takin
pictures, mother[bleep]"
And I am not kidding.
And then he has a meet-and-greet
for an hour
with everybody coming up to him.
-Yeah, he's the nicest dude.
-He can heal people
with his hands.
-No, he cannot.
No, no, no.
-He made this lady walk.
-No.
