
Spanish: 
÷
ñ÷÷é

English: 
>> PRODUCTION POUR FOR "ISLAND
INSIGHTS" IS PROVIDE BY.
>> THE HONOLULU STAR BULLETIN.
HAWAII'S OLDEST DAILY NEWSPAPER
RECORDING HISTORIC EVENTS AND
REPORTING DAILY NEWS IN HAWAII
FOR 125 YEARS.
THE HONOLULU STAR BULLETIN AND
STAR BULLETIN.COM.
>>DAN: JENNY HARTSOCK WAS A
39-YEAR-OLD ABUSED WIFE WHO WAS
TRYING TO LEAVE HER HUSBAND.
SHE WAS STABBED TO DEATH ON
LANAI OF HER KALIHI APARTMENT.
POLICE AND PROSECUTORS SAY HER
HUSBAND KILLED HER.
JANEL TUPUOLA WAS 29.
SHE HAD ALREADY LEFT AN ABUSIVE

English: 
RELATIONSHIP WHEN SHE WAS BEATEN
TO DEATH WITH THE STOCK OF A
SHOT GUN ON A BUSY KAILUA STREET
IN FRONT OF HORRIFIED WITNESSES.
POLICE AND PROSECUTORS SAY SHE
WAS KILLED BY THE BOYFRIEND SHE
WAS TRYING TO AVOID.
WHAT CAN ABUSED WOMEN DO?
WHERE CAN THEY GO TO ESCAPE
ABUSE?
DOES SOCIETY DO ENOUGH TO
PROTECT THEM?
ALOHA.
I'M DAN BOYLAN.
WELCOME TO "ISLAND INSIGHTS."
TONIGHT WE FOCUS ON DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE, A TRAGIC AND ALL TOO
OFTEN FATAL PROBLEM IN OUR
COMMUNITY.
OVER THE NEXT HOUR, WE ENCOURAGE
YOU TO CALL OR E-MAIL YOUR
QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS ON THE
SUBJECT.
OUR PHONE NUMBER IS 973-1000.
ELEMENT MAIL ADDRESS IS ISLAND
INSIGHTS
WWW.TELESCHOOL.K12.HI.US.
ADD PBS HAWAII ORGANIZE
ORGANIZE.
IF YOU'RE CALL FRG THE NEIGHBOR
ISLANDS, TOLL-FREE NUMBER IS
800-238-4847.
TONIGHT WE HAVE A GROUP OF
VOLUNTEERS FROM THE VOLUNTEER
HAWAII WEBSITE RUN BY THE ALOHA
UNITED WAY TO WAITEDDING TO
ANSWER YOUR CALLS.
JOINING ME IN THE STUDIO IS
NANCI KRIEDMAN EXECUTIVE

English: 
DIRECTOR OF THE DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE ACTION CENTER.
MICHAEL BRODERICK IS A FAMILY
COURT JUDGE WHO UNFORTUNATELY
HEARS DOZENS OF DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE CASES A MONTH.
SALVATORRE LANZILOTTI IS FROM
THE  STRATEGIC STEWARDSHIP
PROJECT AND KAPIOLANI COMMUNITY
COLLEGE.
PROJECT WORKS TO RAISE AWARENESS
IN THE COMMUNITY ABOUT DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE.
JAI CUNNINGHAM IS A NEWS ANCHOR
FOR KHON 2 NEWS.
WHILE GROWING UM, HE WITNESSED
THE ABUSE OF HIS MOTHER BY HIS
FATHER.
HE COURAGEOUSLY JOINS US TONIGHT
TO SHARE HIS STORY WITH US.
NANCI LET'S START WITH YOU.
WE'VE ASKED YOU THIS QUESTION I
BELIEVE TOO MANY TIMES OVER THE
YEARS ON THIS PROGRAM.
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?
WHY DOES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE STAY
WITH US THE WAY IT DOES WHERE
SUPPOSE HE HAILY ENLIGHTEN ADD
AND CHRISTIAN COUNTRY AND NOT A
POOR COUNTRY.
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?
>> WELL, IT'S A COMPLEX ISSUE.

English: 
MANY EXPLANATIONS.
THERE ARE RESIDUAL MYTHS AND
MISCONCEPTIONSES THAT AWFUL US
HOLD ABOUT INTIMATE PARTNER
VIOLENCE, FAMILY VIOLENCE, WHO
IT HAPPENS TO, WHY IT HAPPENS,
AND UNTIL WE SORT OUT WHAT THE
ROOT CAUSES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
ARE, WE WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE
CLOGGED COURT DOCKETS AND IMPAIR
TIFFS BY LAW ENFORCEMENT TO
RESPOND.
WE WILL HAVE AGENCIES LIKE OUR
RESPONDING TO CALLS AND REQUESTS
FOR HELP EVERY DAY.
WE HAVE AN INEQUALITY BETWEEN
MEN AND WOMEN WHICH CONTRIBUTES
TO ABUSE.
THERE IS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR
THAT ONE PERSON IN THE
RELATIONSHIP AND FOR THEM TO DO
DISCLAIMER RIGHT AWAY FOR THE
COURSE OF THE PROGRAM, I'LL
REFER TO THE ABUSER A HE AND THE
VICTIM AS SHE.
IT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T
HAPPEN THE OTHER WAY, THE JUST
EASIER THAN KIND OF EXPLAINING
IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF

English: 
PEOPLE WHO CALLING US FOR HELP
ARE SHOWING UP IN THE COURTROOMS
OR REQUESTING HELP FROM THE
POLICE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE BEING
VEK TIMIZEED BY MEN.
SO WE HAVE ONE PERSON IN THE
RELATIONSHIP WHO USES A PATTERN
TO CONTROL AND DOMINATE THE
OTHER PARTNER IN THE
RELATIONSHIP AND THEY USE A
VARIETY OF TACTICS, MAYBE IT'S A
PHYSICAL FORM OF ABUSE.
MAYBE IT'S ISOLATION.
MAYBE IT'S VERBAL ABUSE.
MAYBE IT'S SEXUAL VIOLENCE.
MAYBE THE FORMS OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL, LIKE DEGRADING OR
DEMEANING A PERSON.
MAYBE IT INVOLVES MAKING ALL THE
DECISIONS IN THE FAMILY, BIG
DECISIONS.
>>DAN: WHAT THE A WOMAN SUPPOSED
TO DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THAT?
I MEAN THE MAN IS NORMALLY IN A
STRONGER PHYSICALLY, OFTEN IS
PRODUCING MORE OF THE SUPPORT IN
THE FAMILY.
WHAT SHOULD SHE DO.
>> IN A RELATIONSHIP, IF A
PERSON BEGINS TO FEEL AS THOUGH

English: 
THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO
MAKE THEIR OWN PERSONAL CHOICES,
OR THEY DON'T HAVE OPTIONS THAT
THEY WOULD LIKE, THEY WOULD WANT
TO BEGIN NOTICING THESE RED
FLAGS AND IF THE BEHAVIOR EITHER
ESCALATES OR COMPLETELY
CHARACTERIZES THE RELATIONSHIP,
I WOULD SUGGEST THAT THE PERSON
ASK FOR HELP, CONTEMPLATE WHAT'S
GOING ON, MAYBE GET, GO TO A
FRIEND, JUST THINK IT THROUGH.
IF THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME AND
I'M NOT SURE WHR* THIS IS RIGHT,
OR WHETHER THIS WORKS FOR ME, I
MIGHT CALL A FRIEND AND SAY,
THIS IS WHAT THE GOING ON LIKE
IS THIS HOW IT WORKS IN YOUR
RELATIONSHIP.
THIS ALL A LITTLE CORNY FOR ME
TO BREAK IT DOWN TO THIS LEVEL.
>>DAN: WHAT WOULD YOU TELL A
WOMAN TO DO?
YOU MUST BE TELLING WOMEN WHAT
TO DO ALL THE TIME IN COURT.
>> I'M NOT TELLING THEM WHAT TO
DO.
WHAT I'M DOING IS MAKING
DECISIONS BASED ON WHAT THEY

English: 
PRESENT TO ME.
I DO TELL THE, NANCI REFERRED TO
THE I THINK OF AS THE
RESPONDENT.
I'M GOING TO CALL HIM THE
RESPONDENT.THE PERSON WHOSE HAD
THE IT TRO FILED AGAINST THEM.
I TELL THEM WHAT TO DO, SWI NOT
TO GET NEAR THE PETITIONER, FOR
A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME.
>>DAN: BY TRO.
>> TRO IS TEMPORARY RESTRAINING
ORDER, AND THEN THEY COME BEFORE
ME WITH A TRO AND THE QUESTION
THAT I HAVE TO DECIDE IS DO I
CONVERT THAT TO AN ORDER OF
PROTECTION.
AND I HEAR THE TESTIMONY FROM
WHAT I'M GOING TO REFER TO IS
THE PETITIONER, GEM USUALLY A
WOMAN, ALTHOUGH CERTAINLY NOT
ALWAYS AND THEN I HEAR TESTIMONY
OF THE RESPONDENT USUALLY A MAN,
BUT SRNL NOT ALWAYS.
AND THEN I MAKE A DECISION.
AN ONCE I MAKE DECISION, THEN I
TURN TO THE RESPONDENT.
IF I'VE DECIDED TO ASSURE A
RESTRAINING ORDER, AND I MAKE IT
VERY CLEAR WHAT THE TERMS OF
THAT RESTRAININGING ORDER ARE.
I DO NOT TURN TO THE WOMAN AND

English: 
SAY HERE'S MY ADVICE FOR YOU.
I DO FREQUENTLY SAY AFTER
ISSUING A RESTRAINING ORDER, YOU
SHOWED COURAGE IN FILING THIS
TRO.
AND I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT
COURAGE.
BUT I WANT TO STAY AWAY AS A
JUDGE FROM TELLING THEN WHAT TO
DO.
THEN I BEGIN TO MOVE, I THINK,
INTO A VERY DELICATE AREA.
>>DAN: SALVATORRE I GO BACK IT
TO THE QUESTION THAT I ASKED
NANCI AT THE BEGINNING.
WHY IN A COUNTRY LIKE THIS,
PROJECT LIKE YOUR OWN, TRIES TO
MAKE PEOPLE AWARE OF IT?
WE'RE NOT AWARE OF DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE AT THIS POINT, PEOPLE
ARE BEING PLUMBING ONED IN THE
STREETS OF -- BLUJ ONED IN THE
STREETS OF KAILUA.
>> WE'RE AWARE.
THE DIFFERENCE IS WA OUR PROJECT
WAS ABOUT, WAS TAKING THAT
PERSONAL AWARENESS AND SAYING TO
LEADERSHIP CORPORATE LEADERSHIP,
BUSINESS LEADERSHIP,
INSTITUTIONAL LEADERSHIP, BEING
AWARE IS NOT ENOUGH ANY MORE.
YES, YOU DON'T DO IT MAYBE IN
FACT, MOST MEN EVEN A MINORITY
OF -- ONLY A MINORITY OF MEN ARE

English: 
DOING THE VIOLENCE.
BUT EVERY MAN CAN IN FACT SAY TO
THOSE MEN WE WILL NOT PUT UP
WITH THIS.
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO PLACE FOR
THIS IN OUR SOCIETY AND THEN
SHOW PEOPLE IN A SENSE HOW TO
BEHAVE.
SO WHAT OUR PROJECT WAS ABOUT
WAS EXACTLY THAT, GOING TO THE
ROOT, TO THE PREVENTION SIDE AND
SAYING TO LEADERS, IN YOUR
INSTITUTIONS, WE NEED YOU TO
TAKE, THIS IS A LEADERSHIP
ISSUE.
NOT JUST IN YOUR HOME, BUT IN
YOUR COMMUNITY AND IN YOUR
BUSINESS, YOU NEED TO TAKE
LEADERSHIP AND PROTECT THESE
PEOPLE AND CREATE SAFE
ENVIRONMENT AND MAKE FARER P
POLICIES IS THAT WOMEN WHO ARE
IN TROUBLE IN THEIR
RELATIONSHIPS, HAVE SOMEWHERE TO
GO, KNOW WHAT THE SERVICES ARE
AND ARE TREATED FAIRLY IN THEIR
JOBS.
I HAVE HAD PEOPLE CALL ME AND
I'M SURE YOU HAVE HAD TOO, THEY
GO TO THEIR BOSS AND SAY, I NEED
OFF TODAY THIS AFTERNOON BECAUSE
I NEED TO GET A TRO AND THEN A

English: 
WEEK OR TWO LATER, THEY'RE
FIRED.
BECAUSE THE BUSINESS IS AFRAID
IT'S GOING TO COME TO THAT.
SO WE NEED ENLIGHTENED
LEADERSHIP IN THE CORPORATE
WORLD SO THAT THE PERPETRATORS
HAVE NO PLACE TO HIDE.
>>DAN: IT SEEMS TO ME I READ
OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT TROS
ARE ISSUED.
RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE ISSUED.
NEXT THING YOU HEAR A WOMAN IS
DEAD OR BADLY BEENT UP.
>> I THINK TO SAY THE NEXT
THING, A WOMAN IS DEAD IS --
>>DAN: A LITTLE INFLAMMATORY.
>> A LITTLE BIT EXTREME WITH ALL
DUE RESPECT.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT MOST OF
THE TIME, WHEN I ISSUE A
RESTRAINING ORDER, I GE THE
ATTENTION OF A MAN.
MOST OF THE TIME, THEY DON'T
WANT THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
AND THEY'RE VERY UNHAPPY THAT
ELISHA ISSUED IT.
AND -- I'VE ISSUED IT.
AND MOST OF TIME, THEY RESPECT
IT.
>>DAN: BECAUSE IT MEANS THEY'RE

English: 
NOT GOING TO SEE THEIR KIDS.
>> THEY'RE UPSET ABOUT IT?
THEY'RE UPSET BECAUSE OFTEN IT
MEANS THEY CAN'T GO TO A SPORT
SPORTING EVENT OF THEIR CHILD.
IT MEANS THAT THEY CAN'T STAY IN
THEIR HOME.
THEY HAVE TO VACATE THEIR HOME.
  THEY'RE UPSET ABOUT THE
IMPLICATIONS THAT MIGHT HAVE FOR
THEIR EMPLOYMENT.
THA*ER  THEY'RE ALSO UPSET
BECAUSE THEY KNOW IF IF HE
VIOLATE IT THEY'RE IN JAIL OR A
THOUSAND DOLLARS FINE AND THEY
DON'T LIKE THE CONSEQUENCES OF
THAT.
I THINK IT'S UNFAIR TO SAY THAT
RESTRAINING ORDERS AS A GENERAL
MATTER ARE NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY
AND ARE NOT FOLLOWED.
I COANTD DON'T THINK THAT THE
TRUE.
I HAVE BEEN ASKED THAT QUESTION
REPEATEDLY.
BY JOURNALISTS WHO AFTER A
DEATH, WHICH WE HAVE VERY FEW OF
THEM HERE BLESSEDLY.
THEY DON'T REALLY WORK, DO THEY?
AND I ALWAYS SAY FOR THE VAST
MAJORITY OF VICTIMS, THEY WORK
FINE.

English: 
THAT COURT ISSUES THOUSANDS OF
THESE ANNUALLY.
THE ONLY ONES WE HEAR ABOUT THAT
DON'T WORK ARE THE ONES WHERE A
WOMAN'S LIFE IS LOST.
>>DAN: SALVATORRE YOU WERE GOING
TO SAY?
>> I THINK PART OF THAT ANGER IS
THE LOSS OF CONTROL BECAUSE
THAT'S ONE OF THE BIG ISSUES IN
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND VIOLENCE
IN GENERAL.
IS DOMINATION AND NOW WHO ARE
YOU TO TAKE CONTROL OVER ME AND
MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY AND SAY
TAKE CONTROL AWAY.
THAT'S A REAL BASIC ISSUE THERE.
>>DAN: LIVED WITH THIS PROBLEM.
AS A CHILD.
TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THAT
EXPERIENCE OR AS MUCH AS YOU
FEEL COMFORTABLE TELL US.
>> I'LL TALK TO YOU AS LONG AS I
CAN UNTIL I BREAK DOWN.
>>DAN: THAT THE OKAY.
>> I TALKED TO NANCI A FEW WEEKS
AGO.
OFF TO A TERRIBLE START OF THE
YEAR.
2 WEEKS INTO THE YEAR AND WE
HAVE 2 MEN ACCUSED OF KILLING

English: 
THEIR ROMANTIC INTEREST,
EX-GIRLFRIEND, THEIR WIFE, AND
SO I TOLD HER THERE IS SORT OF
THIS SORT OF NUMBNESS TO THE
PROBLEM IN OUR NEWS ROOM AND WE
HAD HAD A FEW PEOPLE WHO SAY I
DON'T WANT TO DO A STORE ON THIS
BECAUSE THE WOMEN, THEY JUST
DON'T CARE.
THEY DON'T LISTEN.
AND I TOLD NANCI, I TAKE ISSUE
WITH THAT BECAUSE GENTLEMEN,
THEY DO LISTEN AND YES, THEY DO
CARE, AND NANCI AND I TALKED AND
I HAD NEVER REALLY SHARED IT
WITH ANYONE IN THE NEWS ROOM,
BUT I GREW UP AROUND IT.
SAW IT AS A 3-YEAR-OLD OR
4-YEAR-OLD.
YOU SORT OF HAVE SWISH CHEESE
MEMORY.
I REMEMBER CERTAIN THINGS.
WELL, MOST OF MY MEMORIES FROM
THEN ARE NEGATIVE.
THEY'RE EITHER MY FATHER HITTING
MY LITTLE BROTHER, SPANKING HIM,
I WOULD GET SPANKED WITH A BELT.
MY BROTHER GOT SPANKED WITH THE
BELT BUCKLE.
AND I THINK BECAUSE HE LOOKED
VERY MUCH LIKE MY MOM AND HE
LIKED LIKE THAT SORT OF THE
FAMILY AND THAT'S SORT OF HOW
TWISTED IT WAS.
I REMEMBER MY MOM BLEEDING.
AGAIN I'M ONLY 3 OR 4 YEARS OLD.
THESE ARE THE MEMORIES THAT I

English: 
HAVE.
I REMEMBER HER AT MY
GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE, HER MOM,
BLEEDING FROM THE EYE AND THERE
ARE DOZENS MORE INCIDENTS.
I TALKED TO MY MOM TODAY TO SEE
IF IT WOULD BE OKAY.
I NEVER REALLY SHARED THIS TILL
I TALKED TO NANCI A COUPLE OF
WEEKS AGO.
  AND SHE STHAIRED SOMETHING
SHAREDSOMETHING WITH ME.
SHE WAS AWAKEN.
SHE HAD SLEPT OUTSIDE OF AN
AUNTY'S HOUSE.
THE KIDS WERE INSIDE.
SHE RELAYED TO ME TODAY, GROWN
MAN AND NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE.
SHE WAS AWAKENED ONE MORNING BY
MY FATHER CLICKING A PISTOL TO
HER HEAD.
I HAD RECEIVER SEEN THE
VIOLENCE.
NEVER HEARD THAT STORY BEFORE.
IT'S JUST -- IT'S HEAVY AND TO
BE QUITE HONEST, MY FATHER
PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS ONLY 6, 7
YEARS OLD.
THAT'S 33 YEARS AGO.
32 YEARS AGO.
BUT IT'S A PROBLEM THAT OUR

English: 
FAMILY STILL DEALS WITH TO THIS
DAY.
>>DAN: THE PROBLEM YOU STILL
DEAL WITH, LIKE PSYCHOLOGICAL
SCARS.
>> SCARS, ISSUES THAT COME UP.
MY BROTHER, I HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL
LITTLE DAUGHTERS AND I, WE
DIDN'T UNLIKE MOST PEOPLE THESE
DAYS WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WRE
GOING TO HAVE.
THE SECOND TIME HE WERE
PREGNANT, WE HAD A GIRL AND
DIDN'T KNOW IF WE WERE GOING TO
HAVE A BORE OI GIRL.
I MENTIONED TO MY BROTHER, I
MIGHT NAME HIM JACK WHICH IS THE
NAME OF MY FATHER.
WE FOUGHT OVER IT BECAUSE HE
WON'T SAY THAT NAME.
IF I HAD A SON AND NAMED HIM
THAT, HE WASN'T GOING TO CALL
HIM THAT.
TO THIS DAY, WE'RE THREE DECADES
PAST THE ABUSE AND IT'S
SOMETHING MY BROTHER HAS TO DEAL
WITH AND HE HAS, FOR HIM, IT'S
MUCH MORE REAL.
AND I SAY THAT BECAUSE WHOLE
ANOTHER CURVE BALL.
HE WAS FOUR AND A HALF YEARS
OLD.
MY FATHER HAD CUSTODY ON THE
WEEKENDS.
MY FATHER WAS A SEVERE
ALCOHOLIC.
SO A LOT OF OUR WEEKENDS WOULD

English: 
BE SPENT JUST DRIVING IF ONE
PARTY TO THE NEXT PARTY.
AND COME SUNDAY MORNING, AT 2:00
OR 3:00 IN THE MORNING AFTER 2
DAYS UP, WE WOULD, HE WOULD
USUALLY PASS OUT AND WE WOULD
SEARCH FOR FOOD IN THE HOUSE.
SO WE WOULD OPEN PANTRIES AN WE
WOULD EAT DRY CEREAL.
I FELL ASLEEP.
MY BROTHER CONTINUED TO WALK
AROUND.
A LOT OF TIMES WE WOULD SLEEP IN
THE TRUCK WHEN HE WAS INSIDE
WHOEVER'S HOUSE.
WE WOULD STAY OUTSIDE AND SLEEP
IN THE HOUSE WHILE HE WAS INSIDE
HAVING FUN.
AND MY BROTHER FOUND A PISTOL
AND SHOT HIMSELF ACTUALLY
THROUGH THE STOMACH, EXITED OUT
THE BACK, HIT HIS PANCREAS, HIT
HIS STOMACH HE WOULD HAVE DIED.
WENT TO WAKE UP MY FATHER.
DIDN'T COME TO.
MY BROTHER WENT BACK IN THE
LIVING ROOM AND PASSED OUT.
DID REGAIN CONSCIOUSNESS, WAS
ABLE TO GO BACK OFF IT TO MY
FATHER AND GET HIM AWAKE.
MY BROTHER LITERALLY HAS NOT
JUST THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SCAR BUT
A PHYSICAL SCAR THAT WOULD
ALWAYS REMIND HIM OF WHAT MY
FATHER LEFT BEHIND, HOR THAN 3
DECADES AFTER THIS.
WE GET THROUGH IT BUT IT'S

English: 
SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY, FOR
ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, WHO
THINK ABOUT THIS OR IN SOME SORT
OF A RELATIONSHIP, IT REALLY
DOES, IT STAYS WITH YOU.
IT DOESN'T -- IT DOESN'T LEAVE
YOU.
IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS JUST
LEAVING AND THE CLEANED UP.
>> I CAN SAY, I EXAMPLE MEERNSED
NOT AS DRASTIC -- I EXPERIENCED
NOT AS DRASTIC, BUT VIOLENCE IN
GROWING UP AND I CAN REMEMBER
DAD BEATING MY BROTHER WITH A
GOLF CLUB.
SO THAT KIND OF VIOLENCE WAS,
AND IT WAS ALMOST GENERATIONAL.
I FEEL IN SOME WAYS.
AND I AGREE THAT THIS IS -- WE
HAVE LOTS OF MEN WALKING AROUND
I WOULD SAY EVERYBODY AT THIS
TABLE, WHO HAS EXPERIENCED THE
VIOLENCE, LIVED WITH THE
VIOLENCE, AND EVERY DAY, WE MAKE
CONSCIOUS DECISIONS NOT TO BE
VIOLENT.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE VIOLENCE
FREE.
THIS IS A DECISION AND AS YOU

English: 
GUYS OFTEN SAY, IN THE TRADE,
YOU KNOW, YOU GET TWO PEOPLE
TOGETHER.
CONFLICT IS INVEFTABLE, BUT
VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE.
  AND WHEN SOMEONE CUTS US OFF,
WE DON'T CHASE THEM DOWN THE
ROAD.
SO ON LOTS OF LEVELS, WE'RE
CONSTANTLY LIVING WITH THAT AND
THAT CONTRADICTION AND THAT
PROBLEM AND I THINK
UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE PEOPLE
WHO DO CHOOSE TO BE VIOLENT.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I
WANTED TO DO TONIGHT WAS THE
ACKNOWLEDGE THE COMPLEXITY OF
THIS ISSUE.
IT'S VERY COMPLEX.
THE VERY COMMON AND NANCI KNOWS
THIS.
IT'S VERY COMMON FOR WOMEN TO
COME INTO MY COURTROOM ASK FOR A
RESTRAINING ORDER, AFTER HEARING
THE TESTIMONY, I ISSUE A
RESTRAINING ORDER FOR SOME
LENGTH OF TIME.
THE SAY IT'S A YEAR OR TWO YEARS
OR FIVE YEARS.
IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, THEY'RE
BACK.
THEY'RE ASKING ME TO END IT.
AND I'LL SAY, TELL ME YOUR
THINKING.
HE HASN'T VIOLATED IT.
AND HE'S CHANGED, JUDGE.

English: 
I'LL SAY, WELL, HE HASN'T
VIOLATED IT BECAUSE THERE WAS A
RESTRAINING ORDER.
WELL, MY MINISTER, HE ASKED ME
TO FORGIVE.
>> I SAY, WELL, I DON'T SEE YOUR
MINISTER HERE.
AND WHEN YOU GO HOME WITH THIS
GENTLEMAN, MINISTER IS NOT GOING
TO BE THERE, SO I'M GOING TO ASK
YOU AGAIN.
DO YOU WANT ME TO DISSOLVE THIS?
I'M BEGGING YOU TO DISSOLVE
THIS.
IF I DON'T DISSOLVE IT, ARE YOU
GOING TO ABIDE BY IT?
NO.
I'M NOT.
>>DAN: WHY DO THEY SAY THAT.
>> NANCI HAS A BETTER
UNDERSTANDING OF THE
COMPLEXITIES OF IT.
WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT IS
COMPLEX.
>> WHEN YOU MAKE A COMMITMENT TO
A RELATIONSHIP AND EACH OF US
HERE AT THE TABLE HAS A
COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP, IT IS A
COMPLEX INVESTMENT TO ONE'S
SELF.
IN ANYONE WHO HAS IT MAKE THE

English: 
DECISION TO LEAVE IT.
IT UNDERGOES ENORMOUS CONFUSION
A.M. BIFERB LENS, REGRET, HOPE,
PROMISE, INTENTION, FEAR,
GUILT, -- AMBIVALENCE, REGRET,
HOPE, PROMISE, INTERVENTION,
FEAR, GUILT, AND THE COMMUNITY
THAT HOPES THE FAMILY STAYS
TOGETHER FOR THE SAKE OF THE
CHILDREN AND THE OVERLAY OF THE
FAMILY, WHICH SAYS, HE'S A GOOD
PROVIDER, FATHER OF CHILDREN.
WE WANT THE RELATIONSHIPS TO
WORK.
IT'S THE VIOLENT WE WANT TO
STOP.
>> IN MOST INSTANCES WHEN A
WOMAN COMES TO ASK ME TO
DISSOLVE A RESTRAINING ORDER.
I SAY NO.
SHE SAYS I'M CONFUSED.
I ASKED FOR THIS. YOU GAVE TO ME
NOW I'M ASKING TO END IT.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO IT?
RIGHT, I'M NOT GOING O DO IT.
I'M GOING TO ALLOW YOU TO HAVE
PHONE CONTACT WITH HIM.
LET'S SEE IN A MONTH HOW THAT
GOES.
IT BECOMES ALMOST PATERNALISTIC.
BUT I AM CONVINCED THAT THE

English: 
INDIVIDUAL IS NOT YET SAFE.
>>DAN: JOHN, HOW DID YOUR MOTHER
GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE?
>> HE DIED.
>>DAN: I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY
WERE --
>> THEY WERE DIVORCED AND THEN
HE WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT
DRUNK DRIVING ACCIDENT WHICH HE
WAS RESPONSIBLE.
SO THAT'S MALTY HOW SHE GOT OUT
OF IT.
-- ULTIMATELY OW SHE GOT OUT OF
IT.
THE GREAT THING ABOUT WHAT NANCI
DOES, ABOUT WHAT THE JUDGE DOES,
WHAT THE COURTS DO, IS WE ARE
DOING SOMETHING.
EARLY 70'S, RURAL ALABAMA, SHE
DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF CHOICES.
  SHE LEFT HIM AND THEN SHE WAS
JUST SUPPOSED TO GO HOME AND
WITHER AWAY AND RAISE TWO SONS
BY HERSELF WHILE HE WENT AND DID
WHATEVER HE WANTED.
MY MOM WAS CAGE US, BRAVE, --
COURAGEOUS, BRAVE, STHRONG AND I
THINK THAT ULTIMATELY DEFEATED
HIM.
BECAUSE SHE JUST WASN'T GOING TO
TAKE ANY MORE OF IT.
SHE WAS DONE WITH IT AND THAT
WAS IT.
I THINK ULTIMATELY, THAT JUST
HER STRENGTH, INNER STRENGTH.
BUT SHE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A
COURT TO GO TO.

English: 
AT THE TIME, HE WOULD LITERALLY
GET PICKED UP, DRIVING UNDER THE
INFLUENCE AND THERE WERE NO
LAWS.
IT'S A SMALL TON.
EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE.
HE WOULD GET THROWN IN THE JAIL
FOR THE NIGHT AND NEXT MORNING,
WAKE UP, COME TO, GET SOMEBODY
TO PICK YOU UP AND DRIVE BACK
HOME.
THERE WAS NEVER REALLY ANY
CONFINEMENT.
SHE JUST ULTIMATELY LEFT HIM AND
BY MY 7TH B BIRTHDAY, HE WAS DE.
>> IT'S REMARKABLE THAT SHE
WOULD HAVE THE COURAGE AND
WHEREWITHAL AND RESOURCES AND
STAMINA TO GET UP AND GO.
>> SMALL TOWN OF 2500 PEOPLE.
EVERYONE KNEW EVERYONE AND HE IT
TERRIFIED A LOT OF PEOPLE.
LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS.
SHE DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE.
IN A WAY, IT WAS SO UNBELIEVELY
COURAGEOUS BECAUSE SHE WAS
LITERALLY ON HER OWN AND SHE WAS
WITH HER AND MY GRANDMOTHER, HER
MOM, THAT WAS IT AND IT WAS US.
THAT'S WHY FOUR OR FIVE YEARS
AGO, WE WERE ASKED TO DO A
MOTHER'S DAY TRIBUTE TO OUR MOMS
AND THAT WAS MY FIRST LINE.
IT WAS JUST ALWAYS THE FOUR OF

English: 
US.
THAT'S MY STORY.
IT WAS JAIS JASON AND JAI, MY
MOM AND GRANDMOTHER.
THAT WAS OUR GROUP AND WE WERE
ALWAYS SAFE WHEN IT WAS JUST US.
>>DAN: WHAT DO THE STUDIES SAY
ABOUT PEOPLE IN A FAMILY WHERE
THERE'S DOMESTIC ABUSE AND DOES
THAT MEAN THAT IN SUBSEQUENT
GENERATIONS, THERE'S GOING TO BE
LIKELY TO BE DOMESTIC ABUSE AS
WELL?
>> DNA.
>> THAT'S WHAT I WORRY ABOUT.
>> IT'S NOT SO MUCH DNA.
>> IT'S THE BEHAVIOR.
ACTUAL WILL YOU, NOT DNA BUT THE
STUDIES SAY THAT YES, IF YOU
GROW, HIGH RISK IF YOU GROW UP
IN IT, THEN A YOUNG LADY, YOUNG
GIRL WILL TEND, MAY, HIGH RISK
TO THEN HOOK UP WITH, MARY AND
ABUSIVE MAN.
>> HIGH RISK IS THAT IF YOU ARE
A MALE AND YOU GROW UP IN A
VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD, ARE MORE
LIKELY TO IMITATE THAT BEHAVIOR
AND BELIEVE IN THE BELIEF SYSTEM
THAT SAYS YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO
CONTROL AND YOUR PARTNER.
HOWEVER, THE RISK IS MUCH LOWER

English: 
FOR GIRS WHO GROW UP IN VIOLENT
HOMES TO MARRY AND PARTNER UP
WITH ABUSERS.
>> CAN WE TALK ABOUT BELIEF
SYSTEMS BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I
SEE EVERY DAY IN COURT.
IT KIND OF GOES LIKE THIS.
JUDGE, I DID GRAB HER HAIR SO
HARD THAT I PULLED A CLUMP OUT
AND I DID THROW HR DOWN THE
STEPS AND DO DOWN AND KICK HER,
BUT WHEN I TELL YOU WHY, YOU'RE
GOING TO UNDERSTAND.
SO I SAY, SIR, I AM ALL EARS.
AND IT KIND OF GOES LIKE THIS.
WE WERE WALKING DOWN THE STREET
AND SHE LOOKED AT ANOTHER GUY.
I'M STILL WAITING.
THAT'S IT.
MY WIFE LOOKED AT OTHER MAN,
JUDGE.
I'LL SAY, AND SO YOU DID WHAT
YOU JUST DESCRIBED?
HE'LL SAY, OF COURSE.
LIKE ANY MAN COULD DO.
THAT'S A DISTORTED BELIEF
SYSTEM.
>> CORRECT.
>> I SEE THAT PARTICULAR PATTERN
DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

English: 
>> THEREIN LIES THE ANSWER.
 THE
PRESIDENT BUSH -- THE PROBLEM
THEREIN LIES THE ANSWER.
THE PROBLEM AND THE ANSWER TO
THE PROBLEM.
ONE IS RISK REDUCTION.
SO YOU TRY TO TEACH WOMEN SELF
DEFENSE OR YOU TRY TO SET UP
POLICIES AND MAKE THINGS SAFE
FOR THEM.
THE OTHER ONE, BUT THAT'S JUST
KIND OF TAKING CARE OF THE --
THAT DOESN'T STEP THE ROOT
PROBLEM.
THE ROOT PROBLEM IS THE
PREVENTION, GETTING AT THE
SOCIAL NORMS THAT SOMEHOW,
INFORM MEN THAT IT'S OKAY TO
BEHAVE LIKE THAT.
AND STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT IF
YOU CHANGE SOCIAL NORMS, FOR
EXAMPLE, IN DRINKING, AND DRUGSS
IN TOBACCO, THAT IF EVERYBODY
STARTS REALIZING THAT'S NOT THE
NORM, THEN IT CHANGES BEHAVIOR.
AND SO THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT
FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL, FOR GRADE
SCHOOL, FOR WHEN PEOPLE ARE
STARTING TO DATE.

English: 
THE IMPORTANT IN COLLEGES
BECAUSE COLLEGE AGE WOMEN ARE
MORE LIKELY TO BE ABUSED THAN
ANY OTHER AGE GROUP.
>> THAT'S WHY IT'S A LONG TERM
COMMITMENT BY A COMMUNE.
CHANGING BEHAVIOR AND CHANGING
SOCIAL.
IN THE MEANTIME, WE HAVE OUR
BEST SUCCESS BY SUPPORTING VIK
TIPS TO GET FREE AND ESCAPE.
>>DAN: JOHN, I GREW UP IN A
COMMUNITY WHERE I WAS NOT AWARE
OF VIOLENCE.
VERY MUCH.
BUT I WAS AWARE THAT THE TOWN
ALLOWED VERY CITIZENS WHO SEEM
TO BE REALLY PILLARS OF THE
COMMUNITY TO BE DRUNK, TO BE
DEAD DRUNK.
AND I CAN IMAGINE THAT IN THAT
DRUNKENNESS, I'M SURE THAT YOU
SEE AN AWF LOT OF ABUSE.
>> I DON'T WANT TO GO ANY
FURTHER WITHOUT ACKNOWLEDGING
WHAT YOU'VE TOLD US TONIGHT.
THAT TOONG TREMENDOUS COURAGE.
AND I REALLY RESPECT YOU FOR
THAT.
IN MY MIND, YOUR MOM'S A HERO.
SHE REALLY IS.
LET'S TALK ABOUT ALCOHOL BECAUSE
WHEN YOU SAID THAT, I WROTE THAT
TOWN BECAUSE THAT'S A THEME I

English: 
SEE.
JUDGE, WHEN HE'S NOT DRINKING,
HE IS A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.
OR MORE SIGNIFICANT NOW, WHEN
HE'S NOT ON CRYSTAL
METHAMPHETAMINE, HE IS A
WONDERFUL PERSON.
THOSE TWO THINGS, ALCOHOL, AND
ICE, CUT ACROSS THAT.
>> DID THAT WORK WITH YOUR DAD?
WAS HE A GOOD GUY WHEN HE WASN'T
SMASHED?
>> I DON'T REMEMBER.
>>DAN: YOU WERE TOO SMALL.
>> TOO SMALL AND FOR ANYONE OUT
THERE WHO DARES TO ABUSE A
CHILD, LIKE I SAID, IT'S SWISS
CHEESE.
THE ONLY MEMORIES I HAVE OF HIM,
THE ONLY MEMORIES THAT MY
BROTHER HAVE ARE JUST NEGATIVE
ONES, ARE GETTING KNOCKED OFF,
SITTING ON A CHAIR, A HIGH BACK
CHAIR AND GETTING KNOCK OFF AND
I WAS ONLY 3 OR 4.
MY MOM, BLOODSTREAMING DOWN
CORNER OF HER FACE.
THOSE ARE REALLY THE ONLY
MEMORIES OF MY FATHER I HAVE.
I CAN REMEMBER SITTING IN A COLD

English: 
TRUCK, A SMALL LITTLE -- SMALL
LITTLE DATSUN TRUCK THAT HE DIED
IN, I REMEMBER SITTING IN THAT
TRUCK IN THE WINTERTIME WITH MY
BROTHER HUDDLED TOGETHER WHILE
HE WAS INSIDE FOR HOURS, AT
FOUR, YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW
LONG.
WELL INTO THE MORNING TIME.
THOSE ARE THE ONLY THINGS I
REMEMBER.
I ALREADY A BIRTHDAY.
I CAN ALREADY A FEW HUGS.
MY FATHER WAS A FOOT TALLER THAN
MY MOM.
I CAN REMEMBER HER FEET COMING
OFF THE GROUND WHEN SHE WOULD
GET A HUG.
THAT'S IT.
BUT I'VE GOT TWICE, FOUR OR FIVE
TIMES THE NEGATIVE MEMORIES THAN
I DO OF THAT HUG AND HER FEET
BEING -- I WISH I HAD MORE OF
THOSE.
AND I JUST HAVE A FEW OF THEM.
>>DAN: IS THERE A PARTICULAR
ETHNIC GROUP, JOAN FROM HONOLULU
WANTS TO KNOW, THAT MAKES UP
ABUSERS IN.
>> NO.
>> NO.
>> CROSS CULTURAL, EVERY
RELIGIOUS GROUP, FAITH
COMMUNITY, EDUCATIONAL LEVEL,
SOCIOECONOMIC CLASS.
>> JOE, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH
NANCI.

English: 
IT CUTS ACROSS ETHNICITY AND
EVERY SOCIOECONOMIC STRATA.
>>DAN: WE HAVE A PUBLIC SERVICE
ANNOUNCEMENT I BELIEVE THAT YOUR
ORGANIZATION PUTS OUT.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACTION CENTER.
AND I THINK WE'VE GOT IT RIGHT
NOW.
WHERE YOU ADDRESS THIS QUESTION.
>> YES.
>> IT HAPPENS IN THE FINEST
NEIGHBORHOODS.
IT HAPPENS IN THE NICEST OF
FAMILIES.
IT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE YOU'D NEVER
EXPECT.
SOMETIMES IT HAPPENS WHERE WE
CAN SEE IT.
BUT USUALLY, IT HAPPENS WHERE WE
CAN'T.
AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
IF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS
HAPPENING TO YOU OR SOMEONE YOU
KNOW, CALL US.
THERE'S HELP.
AND THERE'S HOPE.
>>DAN: RIGHT?
>> YES.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
CROSS CULTURAL.
IT'S NOT JUST IN AMERICA EITHER.
IT'S ALL OVER THE WORLD.
>> MIDDLE CLASS.
>> WHITE FAMILY.
>>DAN: WHAT DID YOUR DAD DO FOR
A LIVING.

English: 
>> TEXTILE PLANT.
AND MY GRANDFATHER OWNED A
TEXTILE PLANT.
SO I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SO HELD A
JOB, HE KIND OF HELD A JOB, A
LOT OF DIFFERENT JOBS.
BUT YOU KNOW, IT WAS AN ALL
AMERICAN FAMILY FROM THE
OUTSIDE.
>>DAN: WHICH  PER CAPITA, WHICH
AREA OF HAWAII HAS THE MOST
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
HAROLD IN NUUANU WANT TO KNOW.
ANY IDEA ABOUT THAT?
>> I DON'T.
>>DAN: LET ME ASK EACH OF YOU A
QUESTION.
CERTAIN ETHNIC GROUP WHO CAME UP
TO ME ONE NIGHT AFTER CLASS AP
SAID SHE WASN'T GOING TO BE
AROUND BECAUSE SHE WAS TRYING TO
AVOID HER HUSBAND AND I SAID
WHAT'S WRONG.
SHE SAID, WELL, HE'S BEEN
ABUSING ME FOR 15 YEARS AND IT'S
FINALLY COMING TO AN END.
I SAID, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
I SAID, HER RESPONSE WAS, WELL,
AMONG OUR PEOPLE, SHE SAYS, THIS
IS COMMON.
THIS IS THE WAY.
IS THERE A CULTURAL, WITHIN
HAWAII'S CULTURES, ARE THERE
CULTURES THAT ARE MORE PRONED TO
THIS THAN OTHERS?

English: 
>> NO.
>> WHITE PEOPLE,
AFRICAN-AMERICAN PEOPLE,
FILIPINO PEOPLE, NATIVE HAWAIIAN
PEOPLE, ASIAN PEOPLE, NO.
>>DAN: NO?
>> NO.
>>DAN: OKAY.
WHAT ABOUT SO MUCH FOR MY
STUDENTS.
SOMEONE ALSO ASKED ABOUT VIETNAM
WAR VETS AND VETERANS OF IRAQ.
IS THERE A PROBLEM THERE?
>> I THINK SOLDIERS EXPERIENCE
PTSD.
I THINK THE TRAUMA THAT THEY
EXPERIENCE AND THE VIOLENCE THEY
ARE TAUGHT TO EMBRACE AND
PERPETRATE CAN GET BLURRY IN
TERMS OF THEIR FAMILY
RELATIONSHIPS AND WE DON'T -- WE
HAVE A LOFT -- SWERVE A LOT OF
MILITARY FAMILIES.
>>DAN: SALVATORRE, YOU WERE
NODDING YOUR HEAD OF THE.

English: 
>> YES.
THIS IS PROBABLY, IF THERE'S A
CRIME ABOUT WAR, THIS IS IT.
IT'S WHAT IT DOES TO OURSELVES.
IT RUINS GENERATIONS OF YOUNG
MEN.
AND SOME OF THEM COME HOME AND
DEAL WITH IT.
BETTER THAN OTHERS.
BUT CERTAIN, IF YOU LOOK AT THE
NEWS IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, ALL
OF THE VIETNAM VETS, I MEAN,
IRAQI VETERANS WHO HAVE GOTTEN
INTO TROUBLE, NOT JUST DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE TRUB, BUT THERE WAS ONE
WHO KILLED HIS FRIEND AND
ANOTHER, IT'S JUST HORRIFYING.
>>DAN: I SEE A LOT OF MILITARY.
I DON'T KNOW THE EXACT NUMBER.
IT FEELS TO ME LIKE ABOUT 20%.
I HANDLE ABOUT 40 OF THESE CASES
A WEEK.
I'VE DONE ABOUT A THOUSAND IN
THE LAST YEAR.
>>DAN: 40 DOMESTIC VIOLENCE A
WEEK?
TRO?
>> 13 YESTERDAY MORNING.
I HAD 12 ON TUESDAY MORNING.
AND I HAD 10 ON MONDAY MORNING.
SO I'VE DONE ABOUT A THOUSAND IN

English: 
THE LAST YEARS.
I DON'T HAVE THE STATISTICS, BUT
IT SEEMS ABOUT ONE EVERY FIVE
ARE MILITARY.
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO WITH
THE MILITARY GUYS, IT'S USUALLY
GUYS.
>>DAN: BEFORE YOU DO, IS IT
SOMETHING TO TO WITH JUST YOUTH
AND THE STRAIN OF BEING IN THE
MILITARY AND PEOPLE LEAVING AND
YOUNG CHILDREN?
>> I THINK PART OF IT IS YOUTH.
MOST OF THEM THAT A PARE BEFORE
ME ARE 20 YEARS OLD.
21 YEARS OAL.
BUT I THINK IT'S ALSO PART OF
WHAT THEY SAW WHEN THEY WERE AT
WAR.
SO LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I DO.
WHEN A MILITARY PERSON COMES IN
TO ME, I SAY, FIRST OF ALL, I
WANT TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR
SERVICE.
AND I END BY SAYING THAT TOO. 
BUT IN THE MIDDLE, IN BETWEEN
THAT, I ISSUE A RESTRAINING
ORDER BECAUSE THE FACT THAT
THEY'VE SERVED DOESN'T MEAN
THEY'RE NOT DANGEROUS TO THE
PERSON THAT HAS FATHERED THE
TWO.
BUT WHAT THE PERSON OFTEN SAYS
TO ME, IS JUDGE, HE WASN'T THIS

English: 
WAY BEFORE HE WENT TO WAR.
NOW, UNLIKE SALVATORRE, I'M NOT
READY YET IT MAKE A COMPLETE
SWEEPING STATEMENT THAT WAR DOES
THIS OR IT DOESN'T DO THAT.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I DO KNOW THAT MANY OF THE
SPOUSES ARE SAYING, BEFORE HE
WENT TO IRAQ, HE DIDN'T TREAT ME
THIS WAY.
>> DO A LITTLE MYTH BUSTING
HERE.
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS WORK IN THE
COMMUNITY FOR 25 YEARS.
OUR AGENCY HAS BEEN DOING ITS
WORK FOR 17.
THE IRAQ WAR IS RELATIVELY
RECENT AND WE SERVED MILITARY
FAMILIES PRIOR TO US INVADING
IRAQ.
SO I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE IS A
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
I THINK IT MIGHT EXACERBATE AND
I WOULD TAKE US BACK FOR A
SECOND TO THE SUBSTANCE ABUSE
ISSUE.
AND SAY SOMETHING REAL SIMILAR.
THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO DON'T DRINK
AND WOULD DON'T USE DRUGS WHO

English: 
ABUSE THEIR PARTNERS.
AND SO IT'S VERY IMPORTANT HA WE
DON'T CONFUSE THE ISSUES.
AND SAY, OR BELIEVE SOMEHOW
PERPETUATE THE MISCONCEPTION
THAT IF YOU USE DRUGS OR YOU
DRINK, YOU ABUSE YOUR PARTNER.
BUT IF YOU DON'T, THEN YOU
DON'T.
>> IT IT ADDS TO LIKE YOU WERE
SAYING, THE COMPLEXITY OF IT.
EACH CASE IS SO UNIQUE BECAUSE
YOU CAN'T JUST SAY JAI IS THIS
AND HE'S FROM A FAMILY THAT HAD
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
SO THAT EXPLAINS WHY HE'S GOING
TO GO AHEAD AND MARRY SOMEONE
AND HE'S GOING TO ABUSIVE TO
THAT PERSON OR TO HIS GIRLFRIEND
AT THE TIME.
SOMETIMES SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO
HISTORY OF IT AT ALL AND NO
ALCOHOL, NO DRUGS AN THEY STILL
DO THIS.
>>DAN: ABSOLUTELY.
>> EACH UNIS UNUSUAL.
>>DAN: THERE'S ANOTHER PIECE
THAT YOU BROUGHT UP, I DON'T
WANT TO GLOSS OVER IT.
40 A WEEK.
SO I THINK THAT'S IMPORTANT

English: 
BECAUSE THAT MEANS THERE'S THAT
MANY FAMILIES EVERY WEEK
EXPERIENCING VIOLENCE IN THE
HOME AND THE EFFECTS OF THAT ON
CHILDREN, ET CETERA, ET CETERA,
AND THAT'S LIKE THE RIPPLE IN
THE WATER.
AND WE ARE HERE BECAUSE A COUPLE
OF UNFORTUNATES, THERE WERE A
COUPLE OF DEATHS, BUT IT REARS
IT UP AND WE ALL TAKE -- BUT ON
THE REGULAR BASIS, THE GOING ON
AND THAT'S RIPPLING THROUGH OUR
SOCIETY.
ALL THE TIME.
>> DAN LET ME TALK QUICKLY ABOUT
ANOTHER PATTERN I SEE.
AND THAT'S A COMPLETE
UNWILLINGNESS TO TAKE PERSONAL
RESPONSIBILITY.
I WOULD SAY IN THE THOUSAND CASE
I'VE HANDLED OVER THE LAST YEAR,
LITERALLY, I'VE HAD TWO OR THREE
GO LIKE THIS.
JUDGE, I DID EVERYTHING THAT SHE
SAID.
I AM TOTALLY AT FAULT.
I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT WHAT I DID
AND HERE ARE THE CHANGES I'M
GOING TO MAKE IN MY PERSONAL

English: 
LIFE.
I ALMOST NEVER HEAR THAT.
IT'S COMPLETE DENIAL.
>>DAN: HAS JEALOUSY BEEN
CONSIDERED AS A DOMINATING
REASON FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
IF SO, HOW CAN THAT BE CHANGED
OR MINIMIZED?
HOW DO WE EDUCATE MEN NOT TO BE
JEALOUS?
OR VICE VERSA?
>> WE TEACH THEM THAT THEY DON'T
HAVE THE RIGHT TO -- THEIR
PARTNER SH NOT PROPERTY.
THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT.
>> WE SAY MY WIFE, MY HUSBAND,
MY CHILDREN, MY.
>> OR YOU COULD CALL THEM BY
NAME.
>> NANCI.
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHY, PAMELA.
WHY I'M GOING TO PUT SOME FAULT.
I'M GOING TO PUT SOME FAULT ON
THE MEDIA.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> PS I LOVE YOU.
HE DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY SAW IT.
IT WAS A WELL DONE MOVIE.
HERE'S HOW THE MOVIE STARTED.
IT WAS AN ARGUMENT BETWEEN A

English: 
MARRIED COUPLE.
ESCALATED INTO AN ARGUMENT BUT
THEY PRESENTED IT IN KIND OF AN
ENDEARING KIND OF LOVING WAY.
AS YOU'RE WATCHING IT, YOU'RE
THINKING THIS IS KIND OF CUTE.
IN THIS KAY, IT WAS HER.
SHE GETS A SHOO AND SHE THROWS
IT AND HITS HIM IN THE FACE.
AND IN THE AUDIENCE, PEOPLE KIND
OF LAUGHING.
AND THEN HE WALKS OUT AND COMES
BACK AS IF TO SAY, HAVE YOU MADE
UP WITH ME.
SHE SAYS, WE'RE DONE.
AND THEN THEY CASE.
-- AND THEN THEY KISS.
THAT BOTHERED ME.
MY WIFE SAYS, COME ON GIVE ME A
BREAK.
NO.
THAT'S A PROBLEM BECAUSE IT
SENDS A MESSAGE THAT THROWING A
SHOE INTO SOMEONE'S FACE IS
OKAY.
IT'S KIND OF ENDEARING.
IT'S KIND OF CUTE.
THE KIND OF ADORABLE.
SO I HAVE TO PLACE SOME FAULT ON
THE MEDIA BECAUSE I THINK YOUNG
KIDS IN PARTICULAR ARE BOMBARDED
WITH VIOLENCE.
>> WE LIVE IN A CULTURE OF
VIOLENCE.
>> WE ARE SATURATED BY IMAGES OF

English: 
VIOLENCE.
GRO TO -- I DON'T HARDLY GO TO
TOO MANY MOVIES, BUT THE
PREVIEWS, EVERYBODY IS CHASING
WITH THE GUNS AND THE CARS AND
THE WEAPONS AND AMMUNITION AND
IT'S BIGGER AND BADRD AND WORSE
AND MORE FRIGHTENING AND MORE
URGENT AND.
ANDREA ON THE NEWS, CLSH
>> AND ON THE NEWS, IF IT BLEEDS
IT LEADS.
>> UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S BEEN
BLEEDING LATELY.
I TOLD NANCI A COUPLE WEEKS AGO,
I SAID, BOY, WHAT A TERRIBLE
START TO THE YEAR, AND YOU KNOW,
WITH NANCI AND WITH THE JUDGE,
YOU GUYS ARE KNEE DEEP IN THIS
EVERY DAY.
I AGREE WITH YOU IN A SENSE, BUT
I ALSO, WE DID THE STORY AND I
WAS TELLING NANCI ABOUT BOY,
JUST A TERRIBLE STORY.
SHE SAID, YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN
THIS EVERY DAY AND THIS TRANL I-
TRAGIC THAT THIS GIRL WAS BEAT
TO THE DEATH IN THE STREET AND
GOT STABBED WITH A KNIFE NEXT TO
THE NEIGHBOR'S FRONT DOOR.
A LOT OF IT IS GOING ON.

English: 
WE'RE CAP TAWRG THE REALLY
DRAW -- CAPTURING THE DRAMATIC
ONES THAT END UP IN DEATH.
>>DAN: WHEN THERE'S EVIDENCE OF
ABUSE AN THE ABUSED ONE WILL NOT
PRESS CHARGES, IS THERE ANYTHING
THAT CAN BE DONE?
IF YOU KNOW THE GUY NEXT DOOR IS
BEATING THE DEVIL OUT OF HIS
GIRLFRIEND, WHAT CAN YOU DO.
>> I CALL THE POLICE.
>> THE NOT UP TO THE VIK TIP TO
PRESS CHARGES.
WE CHANGED THAT A LONG LONG TIME
AGO.
>> THAT'S A GOOD THING.
IF POLICE ARE CALLED TO A
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, THEN SOMEONE
HAS TO BE ARRESTED.
CORRECT?
>> PROBABLE CAUSE.
IF THERE IS PROBABLE CAUSE.
IF SHE SHOWS UP AT THE DOOR AND
HAS A HUGE RED MARK ON HER FACE,
THEN HE HAS TO BE ARRESTED.
I'VE DRIVEN DOWN A STREET SEEN A
GUY BEATING UP ON HIS
GIRLFRIEND, STOPPED MY CAR RIGHT
IN THE MIDDLE OF NIMITZ HIGHWAY,
PULLED OVER ON NIMITZ HIGHWAY
AND YELLED ACROSS THE STREET,
I'M CALLING THE POLICE.
AND CALLED THE POLICE.
AND JUST STAYED THERE UNTIL
SOMETHING HAPPENED.
>> I'VE DONE THAT TOOCHT.
>>DAN: OFTENTIMES WITH DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE ISSUES ARISE IN PUBLIC
AN THE POLICE SECURITY ARE
CALLEDDERS TO PROTECT THE WOMAN

English: 
AND SHE REFUSES TO PRESS
CHARGES, CAN THE LAW BE CHANGE
TO ARREST THE MAN ANYWAY TO STOP
THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
WAIKIKI WANTS TO KNOW.
>> THE OPTION IS AVAILABLE TO
POLICE.
WHEN THEY ARE CALLED.
IF THERE'S PROBABLE CAUSE TO
BELIEVE A CRIME HAS OCCURRED,
THEY CAN MAKE AN ARREST WHETHER
OR NOT SHE SAYS I WANT TO PRESS
CHARGES.
IT IS VERY RISKY FOR HER TO BE
SAYING YEAH, TAKE HIM AWAY.
YEAH, HE DID THAT TO ME.
I MEAN, YOU HARD WHAT JUDGE
SAID.
THAT IS PLAYED OUT IN LAW
ENFORCEMENT SCENARIOS AS WELL.
SHE IS NOT SAFE IT SAY THIS
OCCURRED OF THE BECAUSE WHEN THE
POLICE DEPART, SHE'S LEFT WITH
HIM.
>>DAN: WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR
THE CHILDREN WHO WITNESS VICTIMS
OF ABUSE?
JAI?
>> I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
FOR CHILDREN, TO SEE THAT, AND
NANCI, I'M SURE WITH SO MANY OF
THE WOMEN THAT YOU HAVE TO COME

English: 
IN CONTACT WITH, I THINK EVEN AT
A YOUNG AGE, IT WOULD BE A
APPROPRIATE TO TRY TO GET SOME
PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELING AND
EVEN AT A YOUNG AGE.
EVEN AT 3 AND 4.
MP ENCOURAGE TO TALK TO A
TRUSTED ADULT IN A SAFE PLACE
LIKE SCHOOL.
>> AM TEACHER OR WHATEVER.
>> IN A PLACE WHERE THEY'RE SAFE
TO TALK TO SOMEBODY AND SAY, I'M
SCARED AT HOME.
AND SAY WHY.
>> DAN, YOU SEEM EXTREMELY WELL
ADJUSTED TO ME.
HOPEFULLY, YOU REALLY DO.
>> YOU DON'T KNOW ME THAT WELL.
>> YOU SEEM TO ME.
THE REASON I SA SAY THAT IS THE
STUDY IS NOW VERY CLEAR THAT
YOUNG KIDS WHO OBSERVE DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE ARE INJURED
PSYCHOLOGICALLY BY THAT.
IT IS NOW CONSIDERED IN MANY
PLACES A FORM OF CHILD ABUSE OF
THE A FORM OF CHILD ABUSE.
>>DAN: EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT
HITTING THE KID BUT THERE'S
VIOLENCE IN THE HOME.
>> EXACTLY.
BECAUSE THE CHILD FROM A VERY
YOUNG AGE IS OBSERVING THAT AND
THEY'RE SHOWING THAT EVEN THE

English: 
BRAIN DEVELOPS DIFFERENTLY FOR
CHILDREN WHO ARE EXPOSED TO
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
>>DAN: JUDGE, I WAS MARRIED TO
AN ABUSIVE NAVAL OFFICER WHO
NEARLY CHOKED ME TO DEATH.
WHEN WE WENT TO COURT, THEY
DEEMED HIM BIPOLAR.
HE SERVED NO JAIL TIME AND WAS
FOT REQUIRED TO GO TO ANGER
CLASSES.
WHY?
>> FIRST OF ALL, I'M REALLY
SORRY THAT YOU FACED THAT
SITUATION, BUT IT MAKES ME
UNCOMFORTABLE TO TRY TO
SPECULATE ON WHAT HAPPENED IN
THAT PARTICULAR CASE.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT ONE OF
THE PET PEEVES OF JUDGES ARE
WHEN THE PUBLIC TRIES TO
SPECULATE ON WHY A JUDGE ISSUED
A PARTICULAR DECISION BECAUSE
ALMOST NEVER DOES THE PUBLIC
HAVE ALL THE FACTS THAT THE
JUDGE HAD.
SO I DON'T KNOW THE REASON FOR
THAT.
BUT I'M SURE SORRY THAT YOU
DEALT WITH IT.
>>DAN: SOMEONE ALSO WANTS TO
KNOW, JUDGE, ARE YOU GOING TO
ADDRESS THAT THERE ARE OFTEN TWO
SIDES TO A DISPUTE IN THESE
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
WHAT'S THE PERSON'S NAME?

English: 
CURTIS.
VERY FAIR QUESTION.
OKAY.
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT THERE
ARE TIMES THAT I ABSOLUTELY
DISMISS THE RESTRAINING ORDER.
I HAR THE EVIDENCE OF THE
PETITIONER.
I HEAR THE EVIDENCE OF THE
RESPONDENT.
AND I SAY, YOU HAVE NOT MET YOUR
LEGAL BURDEN, PETITIONER.
TRO IS DISSOLVED.
OR I FIND THE RESPONDENT FOR
CREDIBLE, MORE BELIEVABLE THAN
THE PETITIONER AND I DISSOLVE
THE TRO.
NOW, HERE'S ONE THING THAT --
>> ARE WE TALKING ABOUT DISPUTE
OR VIOLENCE?
I THINK THAT'S THE OPERATIVE
QUESTION.
>> I ASSUME YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
A CASE PRESENTED TO ME O MY TRO
CALENDAR.
>> THE QUESTION IS DO YOU
BELIEVE THERE CAN BE TWO SIDES
TO A DISPUTE.
THERE CAN BE.
BUT WHEN VIOLENCE OCCURS.
>> I THOUGHT HE MEANT THE
DISPUTE IS WHETHER THE VIOLENCE
OCCURRED OR NOT.
>> ALSO UNDERSTAND THIS, LIKE
THE JUDGE SAID, MOST ABUSERS AND
WE CAN AGREE THAT AT TIMES, A
WOMAN CAN ABUSE A MAN, BUT AS
YOU SAID, THE GREAT MAJORITY OF
THESE CASES ARE MEN ABUSING

English: 
WOMEN.
BUT CURTIS, LET'S BE REAL
HONEST.
MOST OF THE TIME, THE MAN DOING
THE ABUSING IS NOT ACCEPTING
RESPONSIBILITY.
AS YOU SAID, A THOUSAND CASE,
MAYBE 3 OR 4, SO YES, THERE MAY
BE TWO SIDES TO IT, BUT YOU
CANNOT END IT IN VIOLENCE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU THINK
THERE ARE TWO SIDES.
LIKE YOU SAID, YEAH, I PULLED
HER HAIR OUT BUT SHE LOOKED AT
ANOTHER GUY.
SHE SASSED OFF.
NOT ACCEPTABLE CURTIS.
SO BS.
THEY'RE NOT, MOST OF THESE TIME,
IT'S BS.
THERE ARE TWO SIDES BUT YOU'RE
WRONG WHEN YOU ESCALATE IT INTO
VIOLENCE.
>> REAL QUICK.
IT'S IMPORTANT THAT AS A JUDGE,
I SAY THAT.
WHEN A PETITIONER OR RESPONDENT
WALK IN MY COURTROOM, I HAVE IN
THE DECIDED THE CASE.
I NEED TO HEAR THE TESTIMONY.
I NEED TO ASSESS THE CREDIBILITY
OF THE PARTIES IN FRONT OF ME
AND THEN I'LL MAKE MY DECISION.
>>DAN: COMMENT FROM VIETNAM VET.
MILITARY PERSONNEL ARE EXPECTED
TO KEEP THEIR FEELINGS INSIDE

English: 
REGARDING COMBAT  RECEIPTED
STRESS.
THEY TAKE IT OUT IN FORMS OF
ALCOHOL, DRUG USE, WHICH LEADS
TO VIOLENCE.
THAT'S SORT OF THE POINT YOU
WERE MAKING.
>> THE EXPERIENCE IS THE
EXPERIENCE AND I THINK IT TAKES,
I'M SADDENED BY THE FACT THAT
ANYBODY HAS TO HAVE THAT
EXPERIENCE.
AND I -- AND PEOPLE WHO COME
BACK FROM THAT AND FIND THEIR
WAY TO HAVE A HAPPY, QUOTE
UNQUOTE, NORMAL LIFE, ALL THE
POWER TO THEM BECAUSE I WOULDN'T
WANT THE EXPERIENCE.
>> THE SOLDIERS AND WE HEAR SO
MANY OF THESE STORIES, THEY'RE
OFFERED A CHANCE TO GET HELP
PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP AND I KNOW
THAT THE ARMY AND DIFFERENT
SERVICES ARE TRYING TO OFFER
THAT, EMBRACE THAT, BECAUSE I
CAN ONLY IMAGINE BECAUSE
THANKFULLY, I'VE NEVER TO DO
THAT, BUT THERE IS SORT OF A
DEPROGRAMMING.
COUPLE WEEKS AGGIE TALKED TO A
KID WHO HAD BEEN OVER THERE
DURING THE INVASION.
HE WAS ONLY 24, 25.
I SAID WHAT WAS IT LIKE WHEN YOU

English: 
CAME BACK.
AND THIS WAS JUST HE WAS A
NEIGHBOR OF SOMEONE WE WERE
GETTING A STORY ABOUT THIS
PERSON.
HE SAID, I WAS PISSED OFF AWE
THE TIME.
HE LITERALLY CAME BACK AND
WHETHER IT WAS WITH MOM OR
BROTHERS OR FRIENDS, HE WAS JUST
ANGRY.
IT'S WHAT THEY HAVE -- THAT'S
WHAT THEY HAVE TO HAVE FOR THAT
YEAR.
THEY HAVE TO REALIZE WHEN I STEP
OUTSIDE THIS FENCE, EVERYONE IS
TRYING TO KILL ME.
THEY HAVE TO LITERALLY WALK ON A
RAZOR'S EDGE.
THERE IS A DEEP PROGRAMMING THAT
HAS TO GO ON AND I KNOW IT'S A
DIFFICULT THING TO GO THROUGH.
>> I'M SURE ARMY HAS OFFERED.
I THINK THAT'S PART OF THE
PROBLEM BECAUSE WE CAN SAY THAT
CATHOLIC CHARITIES, AND LOTS OF
OTHER ORGANIZATIONS ARE
OFFERING, ANGER MANAGEMENT
COURSES AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS
TO HELP PERPETRATORS DEAL WITH
THEIR ANGER BUT WE'RE NOT GOING
TO HAVE HORDES OF PEOPLE CALLING
TOMORROW AND TRYING -- AND
TRYING TO GET INTO THAT.
SO IT'S NOT THAT THE RESOURCES

English: 
AREN'T AVAILABLE OF THE TOO
OFTEN THE THE PEOPLE WHO MOST
NEED THE RESOURCES AS YOU SAID,
AREN'T TAKING RESPONSIBILITY,
RIGHT?
AND AS YOU SAID, SO THEY DON'T
USE IT.
>> WE'VE HAD A COUPLE OF PEOPLE
I JUST WANT TO POINT OW OF THE A
COUPLE MEN HAVE WRITTEN AND SAID
DON'T FORGET THERE IS DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE DONE AGAINST MEN AS
WELL.
>> NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
BETWEEN MEN AND MEN AND BETWEEN
WOMEN AND WOMEN, OR I SEE IT.
>> I'VE NEVER HAD A CALENDAR
THAT I CAN RECALL AT ANY GIVEN
DAY WHERE IT WAS JUST THE WOMAN
AS A PETITIONER.
THERE ARE ALWAYS A COUPLE EACH
DAY.
WE DO THIS REAL QUICK.
SALVATORRE TALKED ABOUT
RESOURCES.
I'M GOING TO ASK YOU GUYS, JUST
TONIGHT, WHEN I DO A TRIALEN O
MY RESTRAINING ORDER CALENDAR,
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT TAKES?
DO YOU THINK IT TAKES A WEEK,
FOUR OR FOOF DAYS, EIGHT HOURS?
HOW LONG IS A TYPICAL
RESTREANING ORDER TRIAL?
HOW LONG?
>> MAYBE ONLY A DAY?
>> APPROXIMATELY.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
>> YOU MEAN WHEN I WALK IN YOUR

English: 
COURTROOM?
>> AND THERE'S A TRIAL.
HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE?
>> 30 MINUTES, AN HOUR?
HOUR?
>> DO YOU HAVE ANY SENSE?
>>
>>DAN: DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT
YOU HAVE TO BRING IN --
>> 15 MINUTES.
>> IT'S ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
20 MINUTE.
SO I'M BASELY GIVING 20 MINUTES
TO DECIDE WHETHER HE THREATENED
TO KILL HER 20 MINUTES TO DECIDE
WHETHER HE PULLED A KNIFE ON HER
AND I MACK A DECISION.
IN CIVIL COURT, OVER MONEY
ISSUES, THOSE TRIALS LAST WEEKS.
SOMETIMES MONTHS.
BUT BECAUSE OF OUR CALENDAR, 15
CASES IN A MORNING, WE'RE GIVING
AN ISSUE OF THIS IMPORTANCE
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 20 AND 30
MINUTES.
I THINK WE NEED TO REVISIT THAT.
>> IT'S A LIFE AND DEATH PLAYING
OUT IN THE COURTROOM.
>>DAN: GREAT RESPECT FOR WOMEN
WHO SUFFER ABUSE.

English: 
WHAT CAN BE DONE FOR MEN WHO
GIVE UP A MARRIAGE WITH A
VIOLENT WOMAN DESPITE SEEKING
THERAPY FOR SEVERAL MONTHS.
>> A LOT OF GUYS WHO ARE ABUSED
APPARENTLY.
>> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT.
>> CAN YOU SAY THE QUESTION A
LITTLE SLOWER?
>>DAN: I THINK THIS MAN IS
SAYING HE DIDN'T DO THE ABUSING.
HE WAS WRONGFULLY ACCUSED OF IT
DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE TRIED
TO GET THERAPY.
>> WELL, WE DON'T THINK IT'S
ACCEPTABLE FOR ANYBODY TO ABUSE
ANYBODY NO MATTER WHAT THEIR
GENDER.
WE DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR FOR
ANYBODY TO FALSELY ACCUSE
ANYBODY OF ABUSING OF THE THEM.
WE ALL HAVE THE RIGHT TO THE
TRUTH AND SAFETY AND IT'S
UNFORTUNATE WHEN MEN OR WHIP
FIND THEMSELVES -- MEN OR WHIP
FIND THEMSELVES IN
MEN OR WOMEN FIND THEMSELVES IN
RELATIONSHIP THAT DON'T WORK.
SO HORRIBLABLY.
>>DAN: NANCI, IF SOMEONE IS A
VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND

English: 
THEY CALL THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
ACTION SEN IT TER AT 531-3771,
WHAT'S GOING IT TO HAPPEN?
>> THEY CAN SPEAK CONFIDENTIALLY
TO A PERSON WHO IS WELL TRAINED
TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY HAVE
EXPERIENCED, HOW THE SYSTEM
WORKS, WHAT KINDS OF OPTIONS
THEY MIGHT EXPLORE FOR
THEMSELVES, OFFER SOME CRISIS
SUPPORT, ABSOLUTELY HELP THEM
WITH THE SAFETY PLAN, MAYBE DO A
LITTLE RISK ASSESSMENT TO HELP
THEM UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH DANGER
MAYBE THEY'RE FACING, ANDEN VIET
THEM TO CALL BACK, INVITE THEM
TO REQUEST ADDITIONAL HELP IF NE
IF THEY NEED IT, AND TRY TO
ENCOURAGE THEM TO MAKE SOME GOOD
CHOICES AND BE SAFE WHILE
THEY'RE MAKING THE DECISIONS.
I MEAN, LEAVING SOMEBODY, IF
THAT'S WHAT THE ULTIMATELY
DECIDE, IS NOT AN EVENT.
THE A PROCESS.
MANY D DE LA TORRE SIGNIFICANCES
TO MAKE ALONG

English: 
MAKE DECISIONS TO MAKE ALONG THE
PATH.
>>DAN: SALVATORRE EXPLAIN WHAT
THE PROGRAM IS IN REGARDS TO
MEN.
>> IT'S A STEWARDSHIP WITH
SOMETHING.
>>DAN: WAS.
>> IS SOMETHING THAT NANCI AND
JERRY COARSE AND JOE BLOOM FROM
CATHOLIC CHARITIES AND MYSELF
PUT TOGETHER.
WE HAVE DONE MEN'S MARCH AGAINST
VIOLENCE FOR ABOUT 13 YEARS NOW
AND WE'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS
FEELING THAT IT WAS FINE FOR AN
EVENT.
BUT THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO DO.
AND SO THIS WAS AN ATTEMPT, IT
IS AN ATTEMPT TO HAVE CORPORATE
LEADERS, BUSINESS LEADERS,
EDUCATIONAL LEADERS TO TAKE MEN,
TAKE THE LEADERSHIP AND SEE
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AS A
LEADERSHIP ISSUE AND TO NOT JUST
HAVE IT BE A PERSONAL ISSUE FOR
THEM, BUT AN INSTITUTIONAL ISSUE
OF THE WHAT WE NEED IS POLICY,
SAFEGUARDS, BEHAVIORS THAT ARE
INSTITUTIONALIZED.

English: 
SO THAT IF A WOMAN GOES TO WORK,
IT'S A SAFE PLACE.
AND NOT JUST THAT SHE WON'T GET
FIRED OR WON'T BE PENALIZED IT
STHE HAS TO GO GET THAT TRO AND
THAT THE PEOPLE AROUND HER ARE
FOREWARNED SO THAT IF THEY SEE
HIM AROUND THE BUSINESS, THEY
CAN -- THERE'S SOMETHING THEY
CAN DO THAT, THAT SHE KNOWS THAT
EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO HANDLE
THIS STUFF.
THAT IF SHE HAS TO GO TALK TO
SOMEBODY, THAT IT'S BEEN
IDENTIFIED FOR ALL EMPLOYEES WHO
THAT MIGHT BE.
SO SETTING UP AN
INSTITUTIONALIZED SYSTEM O HELP
VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND
A NO TOLERANCE POLICY FOR
PERPETRATORS.
SO IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BE
PERSONALLY INVOLVED.
WE'RE SAYING TO THE COMMUNITY
LEADER, YOU HAVE TO TAKE -- IT'S
YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO NOW
INSTITUTIONIZE THIS BECAUSE WE
NEED THOO.
THAT.
>>DAN: JAI, DID YOUR MOTHER EVER
TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT, WHERE DID
SHE TURN.
>> JUST HER MOM, MY GRANDMOTHER.

English: 
THAT'S WHY I'M SO APPRECIATIVE
OF WHAT YOU GUYS DO BECAUSE WE
TALKED ABOUT THIS A FEW WEEKS
AGO.
WE HAD A PERSON AT WORK WHO
SAID, I DON'T WANT THIS -- WE TO
THIS STORY ALL THE TIME AND THE
WOMEN DO LISTEN.
AND I TOLD NANCI THAT'S NOT
TRUE.
LIKE SHE SAID, WE KNOW ABOUT
THESE TWO REALLY HIGH PROFILE
CASES THAT ENDED IN TRAGEDY.
THERE ARE DOZENS THAT ARE GOING
ON OF DAY.
IF ONE WOMAN DOES MAKE THE CALL,
AND LIKE SHE SAID, THEY CAN'T
TELL A WOMAN WHAT TO DO.
SIMPLY ARE ABLE TO OFFER ADVICE,
OFFER OPTIONS FOR FOR THEM, IF
ONE WOMAN CAN GET OUT OF A
RELATION SHIP THAT COULD HAVE
ENDED ON A 6:00 NEWSCAST
BLEEDING AND LEADING, ISN'T IT
WORTH?
I'LL DO A THOUSAND OF THOSE
STORIES IF ONE WOMAN CAN GET
AWAY AND HAVE SOMEWHERE TO TURN
AND USE THESE RESOURCES TO GET
OUT OF IT IT'S WORTH IT TO KEEP
FIGHTING THE FIGHT.
>>DAN: IS THERE A PROGRAM WHERE
BOTH THE ABUSER AND THE ABUSEY
CAN CAN PARTICIPATE IN BOTH

English: 
SIDES VIOLATED THE TRO OR
WHATEVER, WHERE YOU WILL TELL
THEM THAT THEY CAN GO TO THESE
PROGRAMS INSTEAD?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, OFTEN I'LL
HAVE THE RESPONDENTS SAY I'D
LIKE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE
PROGRAM WITH PETITIONER AND I
TURN TO THE PETITIONER AND I
SAY, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT TO DO.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BROUGHT THE
RESTRAINING ORDER.
HE WANTS TO PARTICIPATE IN A
PROGRAM WITH YOU BUT I'M NOT
GOING TO ORDER THAT IF YOU'RE
NOT COMFORTABLE WITH IT.
I NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL ABOUT
WHAT I ORDER IN TERMS OF THE
COMFORT LEVEL THE PERSON THAT
BROUGHT THE PETITION.
>> AND THE SAFETY.
>> YEAH, WHEN I SAY COMFORT
LEVEL, I TELL PEOPLE IS THIS
CALENDAR ABOUT SAFETY.
IF I MAKE A MISTAKE ON THIS
CALENDAR, SOMEBODY DIES, SO I
TELL THEM, YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT
HAVE ALL THE INTEREST IN THE
WORLD IN SPENDING TIME WITH THIS
PERSON, BUT I'M NOT REALLY
CONCERNED WITH THAT.
I'M CONCERNED ABOUT SAFETY.
>> I JUST WAN TO ADD TO THAT
REAL QUICK.
IT IS ILL ADVISED AGAINST ALL

English: 
GOOD JUDGMENT TO BRING TWO
PEOPLE WHO ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP
WHERE THERE IS VIOLENCE TOGETHER
FOR COUNSELING OR FOR
RECONCILIATION.
IF YOU ARE MY PARTNER AND WE GO
TO SALVATORRE FOR COUNSELING, I
CAN'T REALLY SAY WHAT'S TRUE
BECAUSE WHEN YOU AND I GO HOME.
>>DAN: WE'VE GOT TO STOP HERE
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO THINK
ABOUT TAKING A WHACK AT NANCI.
THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE
ALSO.
I'D LIKE IT THANK YOU ALL, NANCI
AND JUDGE BRODERICK, SALVATORRE,
JAI, THANKS A LOT.
GOOD MAN.
THANK YOU FOR SHEDDING LIGHT ON
THIS COMPLEX PROBLEM THAT I'M
AFRAID IS GOING TO BE WITH US A
LONG TIME.
NECK WEEK, WE BEGIN A TWO PART
LOOK AT WHAT ALL THE
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE
TALKING ABOUT THIS YEAR, HEALTH
CARE, WHO GETS IT, WHO DOESN'T
AND HOW DO WE MAKE IT AVAILABLE
AND AFFORDABLE FOR ALL OF OUR
SUT ZENS. CITIZENS.
MAHALO FOR WATCHING "ISLAND
INSIGHTS." A HUI HO!.
>> PRODUCTION SUPPORT FOR
"ISLAND INSIGHTS" HAS BEEN

English: 
PROVIDED BY HONOLULU STAR BULL
TN, HAWAII'S OLDEST DAILY
NEWSPAPER, REGARDING HISTORIC
EVENTS AND REPORTING DAILY NEWS
IN HAWAII FOR 125 YEARS.

English: 
THE HONOLULU STAR BULLETIN AND
STAR BULLETIN.COM.
