• From singing pop songs to clubgoers to
spray-painting penises in a bedroom, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true
stories from our subreddit about the dumbest
things we’ve done while drunk. I’m Pringle
and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by WolfyDaBossGurl
Doopie
When she was 18, Doopie was invited to her
first party with alcohol. Even though she
knew it was a bad idea to go, she went anyway.
Once she arrived, Doopie saw that everyone
was already drinking, so she decided to join
them. After about fifteen minutes of drinking,
she was drunk. She was so drunk that she stripped
down to nothing and dragged a table out to
the middle of the street. Then, Doopie jumped
on the table and began to sing and dance.
Soon, everyone else joined her, but then everything
stopped when she peed and fell off the table.
She didn’t remember what had happened the
next morning.
Number 9 was submitted by 4Corry Grgak
Grgak once drank a whole bottle of cherry
whiskey because his friend dared him to do
it. The next thing he remembered was lying
next to his cat’s bowl, completely naked.
His friend told him that, after drinking,
he wanted to be a cat. So, Grgak stripped
naked and ate most of his cat’s food. He
thought that the reason he didn’t feel sick
from eating all that cat food was because
he was already hungover.
Number 8 was submitted by BlueyBoi Hellbent
One time, when he was 14, Hellbent drank an
entire can of Palm Bay, a fruit punch-tasting
vodka. Within an hour, Hellbent was drunk.
He was so drunk that he began texting his
friend song lyrics. His friend texted him
back, inviting him to a party that was going
on. After that, all Hellbent remembered doing
was leaving his bedroom and climbing into
a bathroom window. He wandered into the living
room of his friend’s house, seeing about
fifty other drunk, screaming kids. Since Hellbent
thought the party was shitty, he went into
the garage and found a can of spray paint.
Then he went into a bedroom and began to spray-paint
penises on the walls, floor, and ceiling,
thinking it was his friend’s room. The bedroom
ended up belonging to his friend’s parents.
When his parents came home and noticed their
son’s party, they lost their shit. Hellbent
screamed like a little girl, ran to the bathroom,
and climbed out the window he had previously
climbed through. The last thing he remembers
from that night is trying to figure out how
his doorknob worked.
Number 7 was submitted by Kitty_Sylvia Melissa
The dumbest thing Melissa ever did while drunk
was when she was at a party. She put on a
fake cat tail and cat ears, grabbed a shovel,
and went outside. She said, “Soil to the
boil, bitches!” Then, she dug a hole in
the dirt and sat in it. After a while, Melissa
crawled out of the hole, walked up to a random
guy, and said, “Kiss me for money, then
I’ll call the cops.” Melissa and her friend
still laugh about that night.
Number 6 was submitted by TheFRAYDOH666 Nixxiom
Nixxiom got drunk one night and really had
to go to the bathroom. So, him and his friend,
Derek, ran into a drugstore. Nixxiom ran into
the bathroom but ended up pissing in the bathroom
sink instead. Then they went back to Derek’s
house, where Nixxiom tried to eat a frozen
pizza without cooking it. He said, “This
is a bit cold.” Derek took it away and cooked
it, making it more appetizing.
Number 5 was submitted by Hey_Spaceman Jameshark
When they were around 18, Jameshark and his
friend went to a skatepark where they got
drunk and created a game. Their game had them
pissing into empty beer bottles before kicking
them off the park’s half-pipe, which was
where they were hanging out. A guy was walking
by when he was nearly hit by flying shards
of glass, pissing him off. He insulted Jameshark
and his friend, yelling at them and threatening
to punch them in the face. After a while,
the guy cooled off and walked away. Jameshark
got so angry at the guy that he wanted revenge,
so he went to a bike that he saw chained to
a fence nearby and began spitting on it, thinking
it belonged to that guy. Then, Jameshark began
to feel sick, and puked all over the saddle
while his friend laughed. To this day, Jameshark
still isn’t sure whether that bike belonged
to that guy or not.
Number 4 was submitted by discontent_prick
SaltySquid
SaltySquid was a senior in high school when
he got invited to his first rave. Since it
was his first, he got hammered. His girlfriend,
Faith, was the designated driver, and after
three in the morning, they drove back to his
house. As they drove past by a Jewish community
centre, SaltySquid screamed at Faith to pull
into the parking lot. Thinking he was about
to puke, Faith obeyed. SaltySquid opened the
door, jumped out, and went to the front entrance
where he banged on the doors. When Faith asked
him why he was banging on the doors, he told
her that he wanted to convert to Judaism because
Jesus told him to. Faith tried telling SaltySquid
that nobody was there, but he just told her
that the building was on lockdown because
they knew he was there. She continued arguing
with him until he passed out. Five years later,
they still laugh about it whenever grabbing
a beer.
Number 3 was submitted by vektork1d Spinalpalm
Spinalpalm was 18 when he went to his first
party and got wasted. During the party, he
jumped on the sofa and pulled down his pants,
showing everyone his “member.” He shouted,
“Who wants to meet Johnny?” That was when
Spinalpalm fell off the sofa, passed out.
He woke up the next morning without any memory
about what happened, until one of his friends
told him.
Number 2 was submitted by RococoUndercharge
Danger Dolan
One night, Danger Dolan and his friend went
to a club. Naturally, Dolan ended up getting
drunk. He ran into the bathroom where he rubbed
soap on his face, then ran out while singing,
“Baby, Baby, One More Time” to everyone
in the club. His friend sprinted over to him
and tried to calm him down, but Dolan just
threw some soap at him that he had in his
pocket. They haven’t spoken since.
Number 1 was submitted by TheLunarMoon1019
Cidius
The dumbest thing Cid ever did while drunk
happened one night with his brother. He was
going to tell him that he was going to bed
but, being very drunk, Cid walked in the opposite
direction. He ended up walking towards the
swimming pool and fell in. As he fell in,
Cid shouted, “I love unicorns!” After
falling in, he just floated there. His dad
dove in after him, but Cid swam around while
his angry dad chased him around the pool.
Thanks to his huge hangover the next day,
Cid told himself that he would never get that
drunk again.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet
Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What’s
the scariest thing you’ve ever experienced?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below
and you might be featured in a future countdown.
