

Heart

## A novel by Paula Hayes

Published by Paula Hayes

Copyright 2014 2015

All rights reserved. This may not be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without the permission of the author. Please do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors' rights. All characters and story lines are the property of the author and your support and respect for this is appreciated.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living and dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

This is Book One in The Bulldog, Palomino and Ratboy Supernatural Sagas.

Cover created by Rebecca Berto at Berto Designs.

Photocase images

### For Marie Elizabeth Prendergast

### (BIG HEART)

' _All the night are days... till I see thee'_

Stuck 1907

" _Poohey,_ _what is that vile smell_ _... it smells like... garbage... it's disgusting!" The girl's face falls as she suddenly realizes what the smell is. "Oh oh... no... it's you... isn't it!" She flaps the patched eiderdown up and down on the bed she shares with the culprit and then leaps out to stand by the closed door, leaving behind her windy sister in a fit of giggles._

The small child at the foot of the bed laughs too, "Well you know, it surely wasn't me!"

"Sorry," squeaks the girl still in the bed. "Cabbage does me in!"

" _We are supposed to be saying our_ _prayers... compose yourself sister. What are we up to? Ah yes I remember..._ _If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul shall take," is chanted in a careless singsong unison._

The eldest sister tries not to look at her littlest sister, now hovering close to her as she gets back into the bed.

" _Not long to go now?" The little one asks hopefully. "Can't be much longer? Can it?"  
The eldest sister smiles kindly before she shuts her eyes and shrugs, "Course not!"_

" _Course not what?" asks the middle sister._

It is now her turn to sniff the air suspiciously, "I can smell cake again freshly baked, it smells delicious," she inhales deeply. "And I know it's not Ma baking and I am not going mad." She slips out of bed and looks out the window. "Where is it coming from? It feels so close and comforting."

The eldest sister remains in bed and looks up from her rosary beads and says anxiously, "It is probably the foreign woman from across the road, she's got very peculiar habits. I don't trust her... or him. Baking in the middle of the night on a Sunday, scandalous!" She is careful not to look at the little tot to her side.

" _Ridiculous!" retorts the middle sister, "They are good people... the lady is lovely and you're making her out to be the next Sweeney Todd!"_

" _I am not! Now you're being ridiculous," humphs the eldest._

The youngest sister resumes her spot at the end of the small bed and begins to cough, the eldest sister now looks straight at her and the middling child follows her sister's gaze to the edge of the eiderdown and smiles nervously, although she sees nothing, just the moonlight dancing in silvery patterns on the coverlet.

" _Is she here with us now?"_

The eldest sister takes forever to answer, "Yes... yes she is... do you believe me?

" _Yes, of course I do, with all my heart I do." She kisses her big sister on the cheek and moves her doll in between them to share._

" _Thank you for believing me, I thought I was going mad," she squeezes the young girl's hand._

" _That heavenly scent it's her... isn't it... the home baked goodness, it's part of her isn't it?"_

" _Yes," smiles the eldest, "now let's finish off our prayers, in case we die in the night!"_

" _Pfftt," replies the middle sister, "I'm not dying any time soon and if I do I will stay here with you too... I wish we could recite Shakespeare instead of prayers... so very dull! I think this sounds much nicer... don't you think?_ Hark! Hark! The lark at Heaven's gate sings."

" _It does sounds pretty, what does it mean?" asks the small child, coughing again._

" _It's probably lewd and profane, Shakespeare is always lewd and profane," snaps the eldest._

" _Rubbish," says the middle child. "It's lovely, it means when you die your soul will hear the lark singing at the pearly gates and they will open for you, anyways... that is what I reckon it means."_

" _I like it," says the smallest child sadly. "But I am still waiting to hear it."_

" _I don't think that is the real meaning... but I like yours best," says the oldest. She stops suddenly as she hears her mother's footsteps in the hallway. "And now I really hope I'm not struck dead in the middle of the night, it would be just my luck." She places her hand on her heart and rubs it as she chuckles. The three sisters laugh gaily but only two release the frosty clouds of life into the cold night air._

One hundred and something years later but who is counting... just one... the Glorious Dead, asleep for now...

CHAPTER ONE

Virgins and Vampires

"Hark now, my little angerly sprite... what approaches us from yonder?"

Dylan scrunched up his face and peered down the street at the small figure that had just popped her head around the bus shelter on the corner.

"You know it is Jacqui," sighed Anna, "and she's fifteen minutes late."

With a "Hey nonny nonny," Dylan lazily eyed the long cold herbal tea in chipped cups sitting on top of askewed books and empty Maccas bags. "Late for what? What are we waiting for?" He picked up an empty Coke can and tipped it upside down. "Why is it I can always finish a Coke but I cannot drink any more Ginsengy goodness."

Anna watched a lone sugary droplet fall from the can. She shrugged irritated and thought, _What are we waiting for!?_ _What are we waiting for!?_ _For life to begin you idiot... to be taken seriously you dickhead... to overthrow the powers that be. Yeah, that's right... that old chestnut... again._

Anna drew breath but Dylan sensed the oncoming _'overthrow the powers that be'_ rant and quickly said, "Are you sure it's Jacqui? I don't have my glasses on doll." He patted his pockets like an old man and then took out his Calvin Klein specs with a flourish as his long skinny frame leaned toward the road and away from Anna.

"You are long sighted. Those are your reading glasses!" said Anna, trying not to grind her teeth to powder.

Dylan ignored her as he looked over the top of his spectacles, "Oh it is Jacqui —our most beloved Jacqueline come to amuse us with all kinds of whimsy and trickery." He curtsied theatrically with the pomposity of another time and a weirdness that was all his own.

Anna couldn't help but stand and join Dylan as he jumped up from his rocking chair and leaned even further over the edge of the wobbly verandah.

"Hey Jacs," he bellowed and let out an ear splitting wolf whistle. Jacqui waved back and broke into a trot. From here, Anna could see Jacqui's knapsack slung over her shoulder. It was bulging. _Not with alcohol again_ prayed Anna. _Is this all that growing up means to these two... that and the other thing._ She squirmed, uncomfortably remembering how some random boy had recently tried to shove his tongue down her throat.

Jacqui had stopped jogging now. Despite the bulky bag, she still seemed to be travelling by cloud as she glided towards them like an elegant vampire. Anna involuntarily smoothed down her own freshly hacked backed curls as she watched Jacqui's long fine red gold hair waft poetically around her beautiful pale face. _Does she come with her own stylist and fog machine_ she thought to herself before snapping back to the problem at hand. It was Saturday. Saturday was the one night of the week Jacqui insisted they leave the refuge of Anna's front verandah hang out and go into the real world to do fun stuff, like sit around in a freezing city park in the middle of the night, wearing old op shop Nanna knitted cardigans and too much eyeliner to talk about their feelings in rhyme. _Oh and push away random boys and their disgusting tongues._ Of course Jacqui would get bored, have another idea and snap out her smart phone and follow it like a bloodhound through the city streets with her and Dylan pathetically trailing behind, looking like trick or treaters in their ridiculous Goth get up. It made the train ride home a nightmare—she was cool with Dylan wearing old lady pearls; he just had to learn to run faster.

"We haven't come up with an excuse Dylan. Quick, think of something!" Anna jumped up and down on the spot, her tiny body made the porch creak and groan.

"Appendicitis! Your appendix threatened to explode last night. It is possibly covered in pus and goo as we speak!"

Jacqui was crossing the street and nearly upon them.

"Okay, okay," said Anna, "we will go with that one today. Your grandfather can have a turn and save us another day."

"Leave my poor sweet Dadu out of this," said an affronted Dylan as he checked for clumping mascara on his phone screen.

Anna wasn't sure if his mock indignation was real. "I'm joking... der," she said, "you know I love him almost as much as you do," but she blushed as she remembered Dadu's recent stroke. Dylan had taken traumatized to a whole new level. She hadn't meant to be rude.

"And he is fond of you doll!" replied Dylan. "He was just saying you will be quite a nice person in a few years, once you get your ideologically and politically correct hologram phase out of your system."

It was hard to be angry with a blind elderly Indian gentleman but Anna managed it. He was cheekier than Dylan and smarter. She bit the inside of her lip hard and smiled.

And suddenly there was Jacqui in front of them. She flew up the front verandah steps and placed her heavy knapsack on the floor. With solemn drama, she threw back her head and held out her arms. Then she snapped her head forward again while rolling her eyes back into her skull.

"I have sought answers from the Great Mac to help prepare the way for the entry of the Otherbeings," she warbled.

"Is the Great Mac a Scottish god named Beefy Angus that wears naught under his kilt and talks like Billy Connelly, ya wee lassy?"

"Pick a personality and stick to it," snarled Anna at Dylan.

Anna knew Jacqui speak and unimpressed said, "She has googled how to hold a séance," but still could not help but be fascinated by the tiny strand of drool trickling down Jacqui's chin and soaking into her collar. _OMG she has totally nailed possession._

"Why yes," said Jacqui as she rolled her eyes forward and wiped her chin. Her pale face was animated now. "I found this fabulous site on the Internet. It tells you what scented candles to use and everything you need to know. Apparently, the spirit world is incredibly dependent on incoming and outgoing olfactory energy." Jacqui waved her arms around to release the perfume of fledgling Jasmine growing up the balustrade. She breathed in deeply and remembered a happier time.

Anna shook her short tufts in disbelief— _olfactory energy WTF!_ She felt the pressure cooker inside her head go up from simmer to boil. Her brain was turning into grey sludgy mince.

Jacqui pushed on. "It also tells you what encouraging words to say to the crossed over spook and even tells you what sort of food to serve later in the evening!"

"For us or the ghost, ya wee Jesse," quipped Dyl in a perfect parody of Connelly.

"For us Dyl you twit!" she tittered.

"Well if they can smell, why not chew?" he teased.

"We smell them!" she sighed.

Anna was wearing her _not listening but hanging onto every word_ face and sarcastically asked, "What else Jacqui—what else does it recommend? Your credit card details and bra cup size?" _D cup naturally_ thought Anna as Jacqui's' perfect breasts jiggled into her line of sight while she sat in the rocking chair and tried not to rock back and forth like a pent up lunatic.

Jacqui eyed her warily as she carried on, "Well I think it is taken from Victorian times. It was quite the social event." She looked at Dylan with great concentration. "Plenty of plain pound cake but strictly no alcohol."

"Pity," replied Dylan, studying the oddly swollen square shape distorting the canvas of Jacqui's knapsack. "Got any vodka for us today?"

Anna frowned and opened her mouth but Jacqui spoke first.

"Not today Dylan."

But Anna was not to be denied her soapbox harangue that easily as her broiled brain started to bubble and steam out of her ears.

"Scented Candles! The website is probably run by a clever unemployed candle maker with a shed load of wax who has no idea about the Occult. These types of sites just want to screw money out of us. It sickens me!"

"Oh don't be like that. It looks like a great website, I thought we could have a bit of fun around your new antique dining room table. It's just an idea."

_It is always just an idea!_ Anna stared at Jacqui. _Barrel locked and loaded._

Suddenly Jacqui seemed very interested in a pulled thread on her vintage peasant skirt. "Mmmm well... yes ... you can buy the candles from the site."

_And fire_ roared a militant voice inside Anna's head as she lurched loudly into,

"I hate this kind of crap. It preys on grievers and believers. It sickens me. It's consumerism at its worst. It's almost as bad as those television psychics who feel their way through the alphabet." Anna adopted an evangelistic American accent, which sounded, surprisingly like Anna's own voice—make believe was not her skill set. "Hmmmm... I feel a 'J,' I strongly feel the figure in front of me is making a 'J' sound. Does anyone have a relative with a name beginning with the 'J'? I'm feeling the figure is saying Jim... No NO... wait he is saying John. Or is that Joan?

"Oooh I love that show," cooed Dylan.

"If you were a ghost with a chance on international television, don't you think you would be able to get your name across? Instead, they go through this great charade of letters and names. Sounds like, er, der. It's degrading to human intelligence. I hate this sort of stuff."

"Come on Anna, relax and open yourself up to the mysteries of the Universe," mocked Dylan in a perfect New Age Californian accent.

Anna snorted.

"Oh well, I have the scented candles with me." Jacqui wriggled three large orange candles from the bag. The knapsack now gaped and Dylan stuck his hand into the void.

"What is this? OMG it's a Ouija board. You have a Ouija board!"

_Of course the fruit loop does_ thought Anna.

"It's Mum's," defended Jacqui, "and she is happy for us to use it."

Fruit loop begets fruit loop.

"I thought we might have ourselves a little bit of supernatural fun but if you would rather go out, that is fine. I've heard awesome things about a funky little jazz band that plays underground near a garage station nearby. It's only a bus and a train trip away."

"Umm sounds cool," said Dylan nonchalantly. "Whatever... but nah... I don't have any money this week. Anyway it looks like rain and you know rain makes my hair flat and frizzy. You know I need height."

Jacqui laughed until more saliva sprayed out, "You are one hundred and ninety three centimetres tall, I know because I have been measuring you and your boofhead since Year Six."

"It was the best day of my life when I started to grow... and now I'm two hundred centimetres when my hair is perfectly poufed." He touched his sculptured keratin tower with pride.

"Yeah I'm pretty tired, let's stay in," Anna yawned and stretched. "I've never seen a Ouija board, it might fun." Her appendix could save her another evening.

She knew Jacqui was watching her. If Jacqui had any sense of embarrassment she might realize why they were so reluctant these days to play along as lackeys and stooges. Anna's mind skated over to the one time they did manage entry into the Great Grown Up Unknown, the Nightclub. Jacqui abandoned the pair of them. Dylan had moved on from the ill-fated night—he was predictably hopeless at keeping a grudge but Anna was stuck in the middle stages of a very lengthy recovery process.

She and Dylan had been cast adrift in an ocean of sweaty bodies, fake tan and spilt beer. Jacqui and her long legs received free drinks and manly attention. Dylan and Anna got a few second looks too, mostly on account of a freakily elongated Dylan overdoing his makeup and body glitter again and Anna was self conscious her tissue stuffed bra was lopsided as she felt herself list to the left all evening.

Anna watched Jacqui slip through a neon Exit with a boy. His arm was wrapped around her, guiding her. The forearm was covered in a large snake tattoo. Its fangs were bared at Jacqui's fragile sequined waist. Anna paid attention to details like this, it could be helpful for the police later.

Dylan and Anna stood by the girls' toilet and waited and waited with electronic music blasting into their skulls. Even now she couldn't listen to Icona's, _I Don't Care_ , without slamming the radio off.

Jacqui didn't return. Dylan was reaching for his puffer and Anna was so furious for once she was lost for words. She grabbed Dylan's hand and pushed their way through the crowd. It parted, amused.

Liam, her older brother picked them up and then together, they walked the streets like stunned mullets calling and texting Jacqui nonstop. She did not reply.

The three ended up in Anna's kitchen. Anna's mum called Jacqui's mum Corrine, who had been in the middle of a post divorce visit to an ashram. She had to suspend her vow of silence but then failed to remain Zen as the night turned into day.

Anna watched helplessly as Dylan sobbed loudly into one of her mother's new throw cushions while Liam paced the porch chain smoking. She was about to suggest they call the police again when her mobile shrieked into life.

It was Jacqui looking for a lift from Liam from an address north of the river.

Corinne picked up her keys and flew out the door, leaving behind the scent of ashy sandalwood and a pile of teary tissues.

Anna didn't see or hear from Jacs for a few days. When she emerged from her self imposed Siberian wasteland, it was a sheepish Jacqui that shouted her and Dylan Maccas for days. They accepted and the three ate in silence. This memory loomed above their heads like a spectre; occasionally it tugged hard on Anna's spring-loaded curls.

Dylan, anxious to get some function back into their usual dysfunctional group harmony began to rave on, "Around the new antique dining table, awesome Jacs, let's get our Victorian groove on dolls."

Anna looked into the middle distance and sighed.

"Ahh the table," continued Dylan as manfully as he could between the two warring parties. "Remember we nearly lost the table to those hoons in the truck, the brutes." He stood up and brandished an imaginary sword.

Anna smiled at the memory of the truck fleeing her street with their horn blaring and the driver shouting at them, "Youse kids are freaks!"

And proud of it!

They all loved vintage stuff and had been scouting out furniture from the roadside verge collection for their verandah hangout when she overheard her elderly neighbour across the road talking to her Mum, insisting their family take the table that his son had hauled out onto the lawn, to restore and enjoy. He knew Anna's father loved to renovate and tinker as he cheekily cast his eye over their new lopsided verandah. The unevenness was evident despite the mass plantings of sweet smelling creeper.

The phone rang out loudly across the street and her Mum hurried inside to answer just as a couple of bogan pickers in a ute made a screeching debut into the cul-de-sac, heading straight for the table. She remembered climbing on top of the table and shouting, "Non violent, peaceful resistance Female Power!"

Jacqui followed suite, dramatically announcing she would never surrender the historical piece of furniture to the thugs and would belt herself to one of the molded legs. She watched with growing alarm as Jacqui began to undo her belt, her jeans slipped revealing the top half of her colourful g-string sitting snugly against her creamy flesh, titillating and confusing the Ute bozos all at once. To clarify the confusion the bare flesh created Anna shouted, "This is our street and our table so piss off!" but knew in her heart she was more annoyed at Jacqui's peachy crack than with the hoons. Jacqui had set the movement back.

"They were laughing at you and perving at Jacs until you, Anna, puked on one of the dude's Lakers cap and then Jacqui started screaming like a banshee... ahh good times, good times," reminisced Dylan. The guys had grabbed the table and started hurtling it around, sending them bobbing around like survivors in a life raft.

"I can't help it if I have a vomit phobia... some got on me as well and what even is a banshee?" laughed Jacqui.

"I don't know but they are very pretty and scream a lot. And I think they take their clothes off too."

"Shutup," snapped Jacqui but she was smiling.

Dylan guffawed, "I will never forget poor Larry clearing your front fence and barking like a hound from hell down the street. The steroids for his arthritic hip must be really working well."

"It's a good thing they bolted when they did because he only has three teeth left," mused Anna, fighting the urge to giggle. "What did those bogans call him again?"

"Killer donkey," replied Dylan.

"They were pathetic," sneered Anna.

"Yes," sighed Dylan, "we really showed those thugs didn't we," as he twirled and pirouetted again with his phantom blade of steel, slashing and maiming imaginary threats from every direction.

Anna found it impossible to control the smile that pulled upwards on her lips. "Yes Dyl, we really did show them." She tried not to look at Jacqui because she knew she was smiling and possibly winking at her. Now she was finding it hard to control her laughter as she remembered Dylan tripping over half way down the road as he came to their rescue—he was done in by his extra pointy white shoes and constricted by his extra super skinny leg jeans. Completely winded, he didn't manage to stand up until Larry had chased the pickers around the corner and out of sight.

Jacqui had tears running down her face as she tried to suppress the chortle that wanted to burst out. Dylan looked at her perplexed and then Jacqui slapped her hand to her forehead and said, "Ooh peeps, I almost forgot! I have a new favourite song." She played the music loudly through her smart-phone inciting Dylan to jump up and start flapping his arms around and shaking his bum. Jacqui stood up and pranced around Florence style like a swaggering gazelle. Anna sat motionless and stuck with her new favourite look, disdain.

"Be free baby, spread those wings and fly, be free baby," sang Dylan as he smacked his own bum a little too hard.

"Oh my God, are you twerking? I feel sick," moaned Anna over the noise. "Dylan you look like a convulsing emu."

The song ended and Dylan proclaimed in his newly created Scottish Elizabethan voice, " _Knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven_." Anna was unimpressed so he continued, " _My soul is the sky_ , that is Shakespeare you know!"

"You don't say der," said Anna rolling her eyes once again. "And here I was thinking it was a Dylan original."

Anna resumed the scowl she had worn all through the song, "I don't believe in the soul. It's the human mind trying to make sense of the world. We are so full of self-importance that we can't accept we won't live forever. It's like a freaking fairytale. It sickens me. Who would even want to hang around for ever?"

"Sexy vampires for starters," said Jacqui, attaching her very best charming smile before gently suggesting that her dear friend Annakins should chillax as she turned up the music and swayed into the next song, Florence style with a beatific smile upon her lips, eyes closed.
Chapter Two

Damnation, Ruination and a Rabbit

Lumpy drunken cheese sauce slopped over the hob and down the front of the stove. Dylan was cooking again. "Fondue! Darlinks, we must have fondue... I could have been on Masterchef—" he cried as he carefully poured more brandy into his fondue sauce then not so carefully swigged from the bottle. The cold alcohol hit his tonsils and made him gag and laugh, "But Liam ruined it all —" he fell into a silent choke and Anna finished his sentence.

"Liam ruined it all by telling you it is hard slog and real head chefs make Ramsey's potty mouth sound like a Gregorian chant."

But Dylan was still getting cheffy with it as he threw handfuls of Swiss cheese into the mixture, some made it into the pot but most of it nestled into open drawers and cups. With his spoon heavily laden, he swung around to face the girls, flicking cheesy gloop everywhere just as Anna's mum, Natalie entered the room with a boxful of veggies fresh from her garden.

"I've put Buns bunny in with the chooks. She has become maudlin since Pops died, she needs company." She placed the box on the table and pulled off her beanie. "It looks like rain," she shivered and touched the tip of her freezing nose.

"She is a rabbit mother, rabbits don't mourn," spat out Anna. "You are psychologically damaging her, she will develop an identity crisis!"

Natalie ignored her and walked over to Dylan and removed the brandy bottle from his clenched grip.

"I bought that brandy when I last made a Christmas pudding in 1997, it's beyond fortification and probably turning into paint stripper. It certainly isn't helping your dexterity Dyl." Natalie sighed as she looked around her trashed kitchen, splattered in Pollack yellow.

Jacqui was seated at the kitchen table peeling carrots. Anna watched as strangled little strips of the vegetable fell to the floor.

"I can't believe you hacked into Mr. Trigwell's Facebook account and practically ruined his life yet a potato peeler defies you!" bitched Anna as she swept up the chalky scraps. The broom moved back and forward on flakes of cheese, leaving terse little streaks on the floorboards.

Anna's mind moved forward. Jacqui would probably want to sleep over again, the last time she stayed three nights. She was sick of finding long strands of dewy ginger hair in the shower drain, sick of Jacqui photographing her pregnant sister's growing belly, sick of walking in on heart to hearts between HER mother and Jacqui. _Didn't she have a home to go to? And she is an only child, how lucky is that!_

Jacqui sat at the large wooden table with one of Nat's homegrown irregular shaped carrots in one hand and a peeler in the other, staring into space. Dylan could tell her mind was right here in this room and that she was trying to get her _isn't everything lovely peeps_ stoned look going on but he could see the tears rise up to the edge of her beautiful green eyes.

He felt the tension mounting but could only manage to look at Anna with a slack open mouth while vaguely sensing Lottie the puppy licking the spilt sauce from his toes. Larry got up and shuffled around but was too late and returned to his bed disappointed.

Dylan regained his composure and loudly exclaimed with great affectation, "Oh how I wish I'd worn my cravat." He took in both girls with a sidelong glance and hurriedly continued on. "All the Wiki sites stress the importance of creating atmosphere but you will spring these little schemes on us without a moment's notice you evil minx Jacs... still I am looking adorable in your apron Mrs Grey," he winked at Natalie.

Natalie looked up from washing vegetables and shouted, "Dylan, love, your sauce is catching. Dylan, the cheese is burning. DYLAN, turn the bloody stove off and get your fondue off the heat." She took the pot from him and started the long process of resuscitating the sauce.

Dylan took the opportunity to sneak another long swig from the brandy bottle and then examined the label, "Ah Saint Agnes ... Agnes ... what a woman, the ruination of many a good man," he laughed and stuck his tongue into the bottle like a parched ant eater.

Jacqui hadn't noticed, she was wringing her hands and looking like a waif about to float away. Anna had noticed and asked, "Didn't anyone read the email I forwarded you all?"

"Was it the one on compulsory circumcision for all male animals and performers in the circus... particularly the trapeze artists?"

"WHAT?" said Jacqui shaking herself out of her funk. "What are you talking about, Dyl?"

"Really?" said Nat wide eyed, "I didn't get that one."

"Nah... I made it up," snickered Dylan.

Anna stopped sweeping and pointed her broom at Dylan's head but he and Agnes were off and racing.

"Did you get the thesis about green vegetables being afraid of the dark... turns them yellow?"

"Har, har!"

"I got the one on misogyny in rap music," offered Jacqui looking at Anna. "It was really informative."

"Yeah me and my skanky biatches loved that one too," rapped Dylan. "But I am still thinking about butt implants," he teased as he humped a kitchen stool.

He was duly ignored as Natalie pulled her jumper down over her hips.

"I got the petition about shark culling, I signed it and shared it," said Nat adding, "good on you Anna, you are a noble little thing."

"No!" barked Anna. "It's the one on the effects on alcohol on the underage teenage brain." She resumed sweeping and muttered under her breath, "I thought you might find the paragraphs on risky behaviour useful."

Sometimes, Anna woke up in the night with the image of the snake arm slipping around Jacqui's tiny body. Sometimes... in her nightmare... she never came back but all this was left unsaid.

The humming kitchen fell silent as Jacqui closely regarded her misshapen carrot and Dylan engaged Agnes in a staring competition.

"I take that as a no then. You are a point in case Dylan. Just step back and look at the mess you are making, you are normally hyper tidy. Do you or do you not have your biros colour co-ordinated?" Anna demanded to know.

"Yes,'' he said without looking up.

"Do you allow anyone to graffiti your pencil case or files?" she continued like a cross examining lawyer.

"They are from Kiki K, they are expensive and beautiful," said Dylan defensively. "Why should I let you two deface them because you are bored?"

"Do you or do you not, make your bed every morning at six o clock AND when you get up in the night for the toilet?" Anna had the momentum of an out of control cannon.

"Grandfather bought me the doona for my birthday, I cherish his gift and one of the greatest pleasures in life is sinking into a freshly made bed," he finished sullenly.

She continued on, "Can you refill the pepper grinder?"

Dylan looked at the large jar of peppercorns and the small grinder and was stumped.

"Enough Anna. That is enough!" Natalie's head and upper body were wedged in a low cupboard searching for the fondue kit. "Now help me up off the floor, I'm stuck," continued Natalie. "I can barely manage the peppercorn job cold stone sober, they are slippery little buggers, peppercorns. I don't want to be finding them into the middle of next week." She waggled her finger at him, "And that is enough brandy Dylan." Natalie rubbed her knee and then her back. She winked at Dylan and he smiled shyly. She put the lid on the bottle and put it back in its place next to a jar of geriatric dried fruit.

Jacqui put down her peeler and declared, "Well this is fun... NOT!"

"FUN, there is more to life than fun, Jacqui," exploded Anna.

Dylan slumped onto a kitchen stool and looked over Jacqui's shoulder ever ready with a distracting comment, "What are you looking at?" he asked giving her a friendly poke in the ribs with the wooden spoon.

"Ghosts of course," replied Jacqui evenly, without looking up, handed him the tablet, although her face was flushed.

"That's not a ghost; it's a midget with uneven eye shadow, spewing out a lace doily," shuddered Dylan.

"That's not a doily," said Jacqui, "its ectoplasm."

"It's obviously a bloody doily, someone has untwined it and stuffed it in his face," snapped Anna, looking over Dylan's shoulder.

"It's still very scary, whatever it is. It looks like it's been crocheted by the devil. Look at that one... all this webby stuff is coming out of her ear. Yucky, really yucky." Dylan touched his ear and winced, "Remember when I perforated my ear drum last summer?"

"Yes Dylan!" said Anna and Jacqui in synch. Jacqui offered a smile while Anna studied a floorboard.

"I would love to have a photo of a ghost for my collection," sighed Jacqui, as she viewed a phantom woman hovering in the middle of a flight of steps, her face was powdered white and delicate lace draped over her hair. Natalie took a peek at the beautiful girl in the photo and then looked at Jacqui with concern. There was something fragile and ethereal about her too... she was losing heart and verve.

Anna leaned over Dylan, "Double exposure," she grimaced impatiently still sweeping, although the floor was now clean.

"What are you watching tonight, some sort of scary movie?" asked Natalie as she brought the fondue sauce back to a shiny lustre and finished cutting up the vegies.

"We are raising the dead, mother," said Anna defiantly. She wasn't interested but a new thought entered her mind, this séance might annoy her Mum and upset her traditional religious dogma and this would be an unexpected bonus for the evening.

"Oh," said Natalie, looking slightly rattled; she frowned fleetingly and looked directly at Anna. The frown passed and she smiled, "Be careful because séances are the work of the Devil," she said lightly, "and don't wake up Kev with your atmospheric soundtrack—I know you two like your music up loud." She waggled a finger at Jacqui and Dylan and chuckled.

"The Devil is a social construct developed by man."

Dylan, Natalie and Jacqui tried not to make eye contact. They knew they were in for one of Anna's l-o-n-g lectures. Anna raved on to her conclusion. "It is a concept designed to frighten us into being easily controlled."

"So very glad I'm spending thousand of dollars on your Catholic education," said Natalie, tight lipped. "Eureka!" she suddenly shouted and made her way to the cupboard above the fridge, standing on tippy toes and cursing her short-legged genetics. There, behind the punch bowl set sat the fondue kit. She pulled it forward triumphantly.

Jacqui clapped her hands in delight but looked straight past the chipped enamel fondue pot as Natalie blew away mummified cockroaches and spider webs. "Ahhh—the Seventies," Nat smiled secretly to herself.

Jacqui was intrigued by something else. "A punch bowl! Oh Mrs Gray, that would be perfect for my Eighteenth, I'm going to have a Seventies party." She drew a happy face in the thick dust hiding the ornately patterned glass. "Such fun," she faltered. She had said the F word again.

"It is sixteen months away!" answered Natalie, taking the bowl out of her hands.

"The effects of alcohol on the teenage brain, a bit of light reading matter, thought you might enjoy it! SUCH FUN!" mimicked Anna under her breath. "And anyway, who will you invite? All your virtual vampire friends on face book?" She was losing volume but her expression spoke loudly. Jacqui sat at the table, looking at a foul cottony web descending from some charlatan's nose but her knuckles were white and her small delicate bones protruded as she gripped the table.

Natalie wiped her hands on a tea towel and went to speak to her but was drowned out by Lottie and Larry going berko with excitement as Kevin, Anna's dad, entered with a bag of Italian takeaway, a bag of dog bones and a bottle of red.

"Come on Nat, grab us a couple of plates and forks and enjoy your night off cooking. I'll go and put Twister on... I don't think we caught the ending last time."

"Not again Kevin, you're asleep by the time the cow gets airborne," groaned Natalie.

"Spoiler alert, there is a hurricane," teased Dylan.

"Ahh Dylan... you're a comedian tonight... hilarious... how are you? I reckon I don't mind the purple in your hair, it's an improvement over the red and yellow stripes."

"Thanks Mr. G, you're a peach," replied Dylan.

Kev patted Jacqui on the shoulder and kissed Anna on the forehead and then hurried to the back of the house.

"Too far Dylan," said Anna. "You know Dad has just started his blood pressure medication."

Natalie called out after him, "You're not in the least bit peachy Kev darl, you're a bear of a man."

Jacqui and Dylan giggled as Anna shook her head in disgust. "Mother!"

"Oh Mrs Grey, we have hijacked your night off. I am so sorry. You seemed to have done all the work and it looks fabulous. Thank you so much," Jacqui gave a sparkling smile.

"A pleasure, my darlings," replied Natalie. She went to scoop up Lottie, the Chihuahua who was spooning Larry but Dylan stopped her.

"Can you leave us Lottie or Larry for tonight? Wiki says we need a canine with preternatural extrasensory skills." Natalie looked blankly at him.

"It means the dog will bark on the off chance there is a ghost floating past, alerting us to the fact there is a ghost floating past, Mother." Anna was gripping the broom with two hands like a mallet.

"I'm well aware of that, love." She gently took the broom from Anna and swapped it for Lottie. "Take Lottie. Larry is not allowed in the good room any more, he is obsessed with the new mat. Anyway, he is as deaf as a post. Have a good time and if you wake up Kevin with Alice Cooper singing, 'Welcome to my Nightmare' at three in the morning, you will feel my wrath." She shut the door.
CHAPTER THREE

Bulldog, Palomino and Bowie

An uncomfortable silence snuck into the room and Dylan was anxious to shoo it away. "Who is this Alice Cooper?" he asked to no one in particular.

"You know... Nights with Alice Cooper... he is a tragic old dude on the radio late at night," replied Jacqui, doubting Anna would be tuning into fm in the wee hours.

"Never heard of him," sighed Anna.

In the short lull that followed, Dylan had downloaded the Alice Cooper song, synched it and let it warble through his tablet.

"Welcome to my nightmare, I think you're gonna like it

I think you're gonna feel like you belong.

A nocturnal vacation, unnecessary sedation..."

Alice croaked on and on.

Dylan found his image and showed the girls, he licked his hands and rubbed his palms downward over his eyes smearing his makeup. Jacqui giggled, "You look like an underweight panda, not a Seventies rock legend." She pointed to Alice, "He sure is creepy, but not very scary or ghostly," said Jacqui. "I'm sure we could find a more appropriate song to wake up Kevin at three am," she smiled hopefully at Anna. Anna prickled before she realised Jacqui was joking.

"He is certainly no David Bowie. David Bowie is the Master of Music." Dylan proceeded to hum a Bowie medley, "Mmmmmm... Not sure if you're a boy or a girl... Ground control to Major Tom... Ch, Ch, Ch, Changes... mmm."

"You do realise you are slightly obsessive Dyl... mostly about yourself!"

"No doll, I'm just an intense young man."

Jacqui sighed and tried to catch Anna's eye. The pair of them had spent hours listening to Dylan talk about his 'identity' issues. It was beyond boring. Dylan stopped his rock tribute and was now searching for supernatural atmospheric music. "How about this dolls?" Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata twinkled hauntingly in the room.

"Perfect," whispered Jacqui.

The three of them sat at the table and let the music wash over them and finally started to relax. Jacqui downloaded her mobile photos onto her tablet. Anna laughed as she saw Liam squatting in the chook house drawing deeply on a cigarette.

The next snap was a picture of Corinne, Jacqui's artist mother. She was standing back from a canvas with a paintbrush between her teeth, reflecting on her work. It was a silhouette of a lamp illuminating a bowl of roses. The roses and Corinne were breathtakingly beautiful.

"You are so talented," murmured Anna in awe.

The next photo was of Beth, Anna's older sister lying on the couch. She had pulled up her oversized shirt to reveal a pregnant bump. Jacqui had drawn a question mark on her belly. Beth didn't want to know the sex of the baby. She wanted it to be a surprise. Anna thought that was ridiculous. They already had the surprise of Third Year Law student Beth coming home and telling them she was pregnant. Oh and by the way, Blake and she had broken up. They were no longer in the same headspace. They no longer wanted the same things in life. Oh and by the way, he was a cheating dickhead. Jacqui had captured Beth looking lovingly down at her growing bump. At that moment, Kevin had walked in and looked down at Beth on the couch. His face softened. Anna knew the baby had been a terrible shock to him, he still thought of Beth as his little girl. He took a while to process change. Jacqui had captured a moment of extra tenderness.

The next one was of Anna in class. She had no knowledge or recollection of it being taken. She was arguing with Mr Trigwell over the finer points of the Treaty of Versailles. She looked like a bulldog pulling a chew toy to bits. Mr Trigwell was standing near her desk with an embarrassed look on his face, a goldfish plopping breathlessly on the laminated counter of life. "Well I was right," said Anna. She felt her blood start to boil. "He didn't even know who William Morris Hughes was."

"Of course you were right Annakins, but he had conceded defeat three minutes ago. And you were still quoting Prime Minister Billy Hughes at him... loudly," said Jacqui, eager to look at the next photo of the city's night lights in panorama but Anna continued to stare at her own picture. "Do I really look like that?" she asked shocked. The blood rose to her cheeks.

"No," chipped in Dylan. "You have surprisingly fine bones and with a bit of make up, you are quite passable. But when you get a bee in your bonnet, the bit between your teeth and your finger on the trigger and all those other sayings, you morph into well... her." Dylan pointed at the picture on the screen. She cringed.

The next photo was of Miss Scott, their Lit teacher. It was taken through the smudgy staffroom window, which gave it a motley old-fashioned tint. The effect highlighted her green eyes looking up at Mr Trigwell, full of admiration. He was making a coffee. He took sugar.

"How did you get this one?" Anna asked.

"I pressed my phone to the glass," Jacqui sighed dreamily. "I do so love young things in lurve. I think we should review Trigwell's current song."

"Love songs for losers, it is," answered Dylan as he scrolled up and down.

"Leave the pair of them alone." Anna could feel her inner bulldog growl. "It's bad enough you posted that lonely guy's meme on his wall but you nearly got expelled with that hand cramp comment. You are soooo lucky Mr Trigwell stepped in and said you were his top history student, which was really nice of him. So can you stop the Justin Beiber rip off every time you see one of them? I know Trigwell is an idiot but Miss Scott is nice." And I am sure I am the top History student, even it it's only by one point seven four percent. Trigwell can be too nice.

"No way," laughed Dylan as he swaggered into his Beiber pose, smoking his imaginary bong and giving a cheesy glassy eyed smile for his pretend police mug shot.

"I just wished they would get it together, they would make such a cute couple," mused Jacqui.

"You really shouldn't be taking photos without people's permission. I'm sure there is a law against it. Or there should be. It's voyeurism or something like that." Anna continued to look at herself on the screen. She could see the veins in her temple. Were they photo shopped in?

"Bollocks," said Jacqui. "Everyone has his or her clothes on. It's just a bit of fun. Whoops I've dropped the 'F' bomb again." Her brilliant smile looked a little skewiff.

"Okay doll faces, let's get this little puppy freaked!" Dylan patted Lottie and allowed her to lick a large spoon covered in fondue.

"How are we doing this peeps and who are we doing it to? I've got a little sparkly gem of an idea." Jacqui fished out a few pieces of crumpled paper from her knapsack and smoothed them out.

"Firstly, we need a prospective ghost to be decided on in a moment or two," she pulled out a few more loose pieces of paper and a magazine.

Dylan smirked, "Prospective? Sounds like a dating site." Jacqui ignored him.

"Secondly, choose a medium." She glanced at the other two. "I thought I might do the honours if there is no objection. My mother saw a ghost back in South Africa. It was after her twenty-first birthday party. As they were leaving the hall, she saw the ghost of her dearly departed cat 'Snoodle' that had passed over the week before. It wrapped itself around her legs and purred supernaturally loudly obviously wishing her a happy birthday. So I am quite sure that I have the capacity to be a portal to the Underworld."

Of course you do Princess Kerazee!

"Snoodle... sounds like doodle," sniggered Dylan.

The stodgy fondue was making Anna sleepy but she rallied as she realised this séance was her 'Get out of make up and prosthetic boobs' wild card. "You are very sensitive and artistic Jacqui, I think that is a great combination to be our medium." Anna attempted an encouraging smile while thinking and you ARE one SANDWICH short of a PICNIC.

Jacqui beamed back with gratitude even though she knew Anna was only being polite. Polite was progress.

Dylan fell off his chair backwards. "Yes that is indeed a fine pedigree. Your mum had probably had too much champers and a stray cat morphed into a dead cat." Dylan rolled around on the ground, wiping away the tears of laughter. "Oh Corinne, you are one gorgeous little kitty cat."

Anna managed to hide her smile.

"She still regularly sees the cat Dylan," said Jacqui without expression.

Dylan stopped laughing, stood up and straightened his chair. Anna managed to hide her surprise. Jacqui continued reading her list out loud. Her voice was tightly cheerful as she tried to swallow down the lump in her throat. Dylan stood behind her and mouthed at Anna, "Corinne's gone cuckoo," then went cross-eyed with his tongue slackly splayed out of his mouth.

"What's wrong Jacqui?" asked Dylan. "Is everything okay... at home... you know... since the... divorce and stuff."

"Shut up. Nothing is wrong. Now let's get on with choosing or all the good ghosts will be taken. We will be stuck with Dylan's grandmother, dead Dida," she said briskly.

Dylan's face fell into a hurt heap.

Jacqui stood up abruptly and started stuffing the papers and her tablet into the knapsack. She busied herself with moving all the things around in her bag over and over again with feigned concentration.

"Say something," mouthed Dylan to Anna. He nodded his head towards Anna and then to Jacqui.

Anna ignored him. She knew exactly what she wanted to say but was tired of her advice being ignored. Sometimes it was hard being the best friend of a skittish long legged palomino. She had written a very informative and helpful email to Jacqui. It sat in her draft box. Some days, her finger itched to press 'SEND'.

Jacqui continued on, "Right, number three includes preparing the séance in a conducive atmospheric atmosphere, let's adjourn to the green room. I do love what your mother has done with the room, so homely and stately. A magnificent feat of interior design." Her words ran together.

The restoration of the room had been kick started by the victory of the verge table. It was a massive oak table that accommodated eight. It was an exquisite and historic piece of furniture and now resided in a room of equal beauty and elegance.

"Yeah," said Dylan anxiously. "It used to look like a swap meet."

The room had formerly been a resting place for broken television sets and computer monitors. Magazines were stacked in the fireplace. Unused gym gear and ill conceived Christmas presents were set to one side in topsy turvy piles. The room was transformed now. The clutter, the dodgy gifts and the exhausting memories had made Natalie some money on Gum Tree. There was enough left over to buy a small buffet and a chaise lounge.

Dylan shrugged and packed up. The three of them made the short journey across the hall into their favourite room which was calming and still after the mayhem of the kitchen with a sobering chill in the air. The table glowed under the low light of the lamps as Jacqui regained her composure and prepared the table with the Ouija board, a glass and the three candles. She lit some sandalwood incense and put it on the mantle piece. "It's a pity it's not a full moon," she sniffed sadly.

Anna yawned loudly, "The only thing the moon affects is the tides, Jacqui. I sent you that article by Doctor Karl."

Dylan played with his scarf fascinated by the way the glittering thread caught the light. He exhaled, "This room inspires me to buy a smoking jacket. I really think I would look dashing in a smoking jacket. It would go with my cravat, don't you think gals?" He paraded around puffing on an imaginary pipe, strutting like a stretched peacock.

After setting up, Jacqui announced, "I think we are about ready to begin, peeps."

"No we are not, who is our prospective ghost?" asked Anna. "We haven't decided."

Jacqui blushed, "Of course, so sorry. Anyone have any suggestions? Remember the next bit on my list is that we need an object that belonged to or was touched by the dearly departed."

Now she tells us!

"That is a mite limiting," said Dylan pouting with eyebrows raised, "I had my heart set on Christian Dior."

"Well unless you have a lipstick he used, we won't have much success," said Jacqui brightly. "Any ideas Anna?"

"I have an idea—we could watch television." Anna stood up and opened up the sideboard to reveal a tiny little plasma television.

Dylan gasped as he crumpled, "Oh dear, Kevin has been here, hasn't he. I feel the energy of the room changing. Shut the cabinet doors Anna, I'm shrinking, I'm melting, help me." Dylan collapsed onto the floor in a puddle.

"Please Anna, try and get into the spirit of it." Jacqui stifled a giggle at her own unintended pun.

Anna patted her tummy and hoped her appendix was covered in pus. Twitch appendix twitch. She was over the afterlife. It was hard enough being alive. "What about Shulamith Firestone?" she suggested, inserting a crack in the conversation to get in a few points on sexual equality.

"Wasn't she a Professor from Harry Potter?" asked Dylan.

"No, she was a real person. She was a feminist who reckoned we couldn't create equality between the sexes while women still carried and gave birth to babies. She wanted science to create a pregnancy out of the body. You know, like a little gender free snug. I agree. It's not fair. Look at poor Beth; she is stuck in our granny flat with a difficult pregnancy while Blake does whatever he wants. It sickens me."

"And everyone thinks I am the weird one," said Dylan serenely.

"Blake and Beth will get back together, it's true love," whispered Jacqui.

"True love," spat out Anna. "Whatever."

"Do you have anything that belongs to the forementioned Ms Firestone?" asked Jacqui in a voice that was starting to turn dangerous.

"I forgot to return her book to the library, I still have it but it doesn't have a signature or anything like that," sulked Anna.

Jacqui instantly brightened and quickly cantered on. "Well, then it is indeed lucky I have this." She scrambled around in her bag and pulled out a New Idea magazine and waved it around like an Olympic torch, with a victorious look in her eye.

"Ooh let's read our horoscopes," said Dylan, snatching at it. Jacqui withdrew it quickly and held it to her heart. Dylan caught the date, '2006.'

"I don't want to burst your bubble but isn't it a tad out of date."

"It's not the magazine we are interested in, this New Idea is no ordinary New Idea. It contains the signature of one of our favourite dead people."

"But I love so many dead people, pray tell us who?" quizzed Dylan.

Anna sat back and sighed—more Jacqui speak. The code to Jacqui was substituting 'our fav' to 'my fav'. Anna thought back over the last few weeks and tried to recall her latest fad love affair. There were so many, until the penny dropped. They had watched three Heath Ledger movies back to back on the first rainy day of the school holidays. Then Jacqui had drawn him in charcoal. It was a very good likeness. Of course.

"The signature belongs to Heath Ledger," boasted Anna.

"Oh Miss Anna, you are psychic," gushed Jacqui. "You know me so well, we are all so interconnected it's like we are of one mind."

"Yes, like a Siamese triplet in a freak show," retorted Anna. You planned this about ten days ago thought Anna. The machinations were in motion long before tonight. Stitched up again. Dylan and she were like baby wombats caught in the headlights. Tonight it was pumpkin and vanilla scented tea lights.

"You didn't pay for the signature did you?" Her inner bulldog was raring to get off the chain.

Jacqui's eyes twinkled mysteriously as she whispered, "You know I have my sources, Unk is very good to me."

"Oh yeah, where is your uncle now?" asked Anna abruptly.

Jacqui lifted her shoulders and pouted her bottom lip, "Who knows, I know it has something to do with Nicole Kidman's new movie but that's all I can say."

"I love Heath Ledger, I really love him," burst out Dylan like a time controlled sprinkler.

"Any objections Anna?" smiled Jacqui now daring Anna to speak.

"Consensus wins," said Anna smiling sweetly and wondering if her pulsating temple vein was giving her away.

Jacqui clapped her hands in delight and proclaimed, "Now we must gather around the table and I think we hold hands. The glass sits on the board for Heath to use... I will summon Heath by placing the magazine near the candles. Then we will have an in depth interview with him and... hopefully, a photo shoot to conclude with. Any questions? No? Good! Oh I almost forgot, it is very important not to break the bond until we have sent Heath back to Paradise. So hold on tight."
CHAPTER FOUR

Hello Heath?

Dylan turned the dimmer down for a dramatic effect then turned it on and off for a comic effect. He couldn't help but make a couple of ghouly noises for an annoying effect because he was starting to feel twitchy and scared, he didn't want vintage lace weaving its way out of his recovering ear hole. "We could read ghost stories instead? I have a copy of Neil Gaiman in my satchel. I have perfected the voice of the spidery ' _Other Mother_.' I give myself the chills... I don't like spiders," Dylan shivered, "or women that eat children."

"Dylan, sit down and behave yourself," said Jacqui sternly. "Come and close the circle like a good boy, or there will be no more fondue for you!" Anna looked up at the ceiling and counted the spider webs. _This is Jacqui's gig, there is nothing else to do but sit back and try to enjoy the ride,_ thought Anna pleased with her generosity of spirit.

"Anyone for hand sanitiser?" said Dylan as he observed his grubby fingers with chipped black nail polish then quickly wiped his hands on the back of his skinny leg jeans. "There, that's better!" He grabbed Anna and Jacqui's hands and sat himself in the middle.

It was odd to sit and hold hands in the dark. It would have felt odd anywhere, even though they had all been friends for years. They knew each other's most intimate secrets but were never touchy feely. They were soul-mates— maladjusted but totally connected.

Their connection felt powerful and slightly surreal. It was as if just the act of touching had changed all the boundaries. A way to kill off a Saturday night got deadly serious.

Dylan's eyes opened in surprise. "It's show time," he whispered.

They felt so connected that the air around them was almost crackling. Jacqui felt strands of long blonde hair rise and buzz. Dylan's sculptured purple tipped mop top stood up like an electrified kitten and Anna's short curls started to stand to attention like a prickly halo.

"It's show time!" said Dylan.

"Well, I think we have connectivity kids," whispered Jacqui. "Tick."

"We certainly have atmosphere," replied Anna. "Tick."

"Snacks are awaiting," added Dylan.

"Dylan!" said Jacqui through very clenched teeth.

"It's show time!"

"You have already said that. Now shut up." Jacqui was hardly moving her mouth and reminded Anna of an enraged ventriloquist. The effect was not lost on Dylan. He sniggered.

"We would like to talk to the ghost of Heath Ledger. Please," Jacqui added, "if you are not too busy?" Jacqui sounded slightly less self-assured now. After all he was a massive movie legend. Although the tension between the three bodies remained static, nothing changed on the table. The magazine and the glass lay in the middle and Dylan tilted his head to the side so he could continue reading the front page, _'Nicole and Keith: Our Undying Love.'_ He mouthed the words silently. Jacqui tried to hide her disappointment. It was not working and patience was not her strongest virtue.

"We are three unique individuals living in your birth home town and we are great admirers of your work," said Jacqui in her most flattering voice, hoping her charm would penetrate the cosmos. She felt confident it would as she shook her head and her ginger blonde mane fell forward.

"Except for _Ned Kelly_ , I had grave concerns for the elasticity of your wig. I found it very unnatural," interjected Dylan.

"Dylan, stop it," said Anna, making threatening evil eye looks.

"Well, the helmet hair was very distracting," continued Dylan.

''SHUT UP.''

"All I am saying is I really don't think the real Ned had access to hair curlers and spray. It wasn't authentic at all and frankly it ruined it for me," sulked Dylan. "But I cried like a baby the whole way through the Mountain men one, an outstanding body of work, simply masterful." His voice became squeaky, "It was during that movie I realised, I realised... I had to accept—" Dylan started to contort his face to keep the tears inside.

Jacqui and Anna stared at one another alarmed. "It's not about you... again ... today Dylan darling. We need to focus on Heath and the task at hand," Jacqui said quickly.

"Yes, I know," sniffed Dylan.

"Ok, Dylan, keep it together our big brave lad,'' whispered Anna.

Jacqui was leading them through the tunnel of death. Surprisingly, there wasn't much about courting a heartthrob in the afterlife within the pages of her teen magazines and she found herself floundering.

"Hello Heath?" she said sharply, scowling at the glass as it sat motionless. It should have been vibrating by now. It should have been leaping and swirling, spelling out secrets and insights.

"Are we doing it right?" asked Dylan.

"Yes, I just researched it," snapped Jacqui, hoping Anna would not point out she had only been flicking through gross and freakily faked images.

"Concentrate people," hummed Anna stunned at her sudden compelling interest.

Their pulses joined together in one harmonious beat. Sweat beaded on Dylan's manicured eyebrows. The scented candles flickered.

"Shall we chant his name," suggested Jacqui tentatively.

"Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger, Heath Ledger."

The room remained very still. The glass was stationary despite the electric atmosphere. No one seemed the least bit possessed. No one was in a bug-eyed trance, recounting Heath's post passing over paranormal parties and pranks. Lottie snored on. A strong cheap scent wafted out from the three candles. Dylan started to cough.

They sat like that for ten minutes. With Jacqui's hand still in his, Dylan attempted to scratch his nose, then his ear and then the back of his neck.

"Alright Dylan let go. It's bad enough holding your hand. I don't want to feel the inside of your nose." She scrunched up her face in disgust.

Dylan's eyes grew sly, "I have the worst wedgie ever." He started to wriggle in his seat, pulling her hand towards his bum.

"STOP!" pleaded Jacqui.

"Dylan, I'm going to head butt you until your ears bleed," said Anna in a deathly monotone.

"OMG why are you flipping out over a dead movie star," he asked Anna. "Jacqui, I understand, she's the Queen of Kook but you Anna? Weird Much! You like facts, facts and more facts although I often suspect your facts are cleverly disguised as your opinion," he teased, expecting a lengthy serve back but Anna shut her eyes and only hissed, "Shutup loser," out of the corner of her mouth.

Dylan realized he had pushed it too far and gave up. Anna and Jacqui were wired like a tightrope.

"Okay, gals I'm going to revive the fondue, I'll be in the kitchen," said Dylan, attempting to shake off Anna's hand.

"NO!" said Anna quickly. "Sit down. Didn't you feel the power the three of us created? It was awesome. It was magical. We made a... a force of some kind."

"Okay, I see what has happened. It's like a freaky Friday effect. Jacqui has possessed you and Jacqui's soul has popped into the... hmmm... puppy." Dylan looked down at the sleeping pooch. "Hmm, I see our animal radar is semi conscious so there can't be too much psychic activity here." Lottie whimpered and twitched in her sleep and let off a silent sulphurous fart. "Although it does smell like the bowels of Hell."

Anna gripped his hand tightly and Jacqui copied.

"She said SIT DOWN!"

"Ahh, Jacs is back!"

"Maybe we need a more personal connection. Like a photo or a blood tie, like a relative... or something like that?" suggested Anna

"We have his signature on a magazine, we probably have enough DNA to clone him for heaven's sake. All those finger nail flakes," snapped Jacqui.

"Well, Miss Anna, our resident atheist, do I detect a glimmer of belief in some sort of afterlife?" provoked Dylan. "If only we had a handkerchief perfumed in the sweat of Shakespeare methinks we could conjure his spectral presence in this very room." Dylan bowed deeply, smacking his head into the dining room table.

"I never said I was an atheist, you know I'm more of an agnostic girl. I don't subscribe to the dogma presented by the present patriarchal paradigm commonly referred to as organized religion," retorted Anna. She punctuated this statement by poking her tongue out as far as it could go. She almost let go of his hand to free hers up to use it in a follow up statement, a punch to his head.

"I bought it on eBay," said Jacqui flatly.

"What?" said Anna.

"The scented candles? Get your money back girl. It's a very cheap and nasty smell. Reminds me of my brother's bathroom. Not sure if it's his aftershave or toilet air freshener?"

"You really are very nasty," said Anna squeezing Dylan's hand with all her might and trying to gouge him with her fingernails. She was tired of Dylan dissing Deepak who looked uncannily like Dylan, except with muscles, a mono brow and a calm demeanor in stark contrast to Camp Dylan.

"The autographed magazine, I bought it on eBay."

"Well I bought this cotton scarf with a hint of glitter thread on eBay and I am very satisfied, what's your point doll face?" quizzed Dylan.

"IT'S NOT REAL!! IT'S OBVIOUSLY A FAKE, I PAID $65 FOR A 2006 NEW IDEA MAGAZINE WITH A BIT OF SCRIBBLE ON IT. I FEEL SO USED, SO VIOLATED, SO RIPPED OFF. I AM VERY ANGRY, LADIES!!" bellowed Jacqui.

"I thought you got the signature through your well connected _fabulous_ uncle," snarled Anna, "and not through the conspiring capitalist con artists."

"Ladies, chill," said Dylan meekly, "too much juju is making everyone crazy."

"Well I suspected you would have a problem with the parting of plastic cash so I left out the bit about it being one of my late night mad purchases with my newly acquired debit card. I also bought a very cute purple velvet waistcoat. What? You have never seen me wearing it? Yes, yes, yes, it never arrived. YES Anna, you are always RIGHT Anna, SO sorry Anna. I can't listen to your speech on consumerism gone crazy and the insidious predatory nature of the faceless machine that is buying stuff off the Internet—ONE MORE TIME!" shouted Jacqui.

Anna opened her mouth and closed it again indignantly. She turned her head away from Jacqui and studied the freshly painted wall to hide the tears scratching at her eyelids. _I will not_ _cry. I never cry._ _Crying is for hysterical females... and Dylan._ She focused all her negative energy on the array of vaguely familiar faces that lined the wall, working hard to put her emotions into neutral. It was difficult. She felt the inner bulldog pulling on the lead as she surveyed the deep regal green that offset an arrangement of antique family portraits that swelled and blurred like a Dali nightmare.

Anna scanned the faces again while attempting to talk herself down from the ceiling _. Jacqui has many good qualities and I will remember one of them any minute now... or now._ Nope, she had nothing, just these unseeing faces and a quivering lip that she bit down hard to still. She became aware of her maternal Great Great Grandmother watching her from the wall. She cut a fine figure of a woman but her taut manner bordered on angry. _Where have I seen that look before? Oh... on my own face not twenty minutes ago on Jacqui's tablet._ Her vintage Granny seemed to be looking beyond the photographer to a naughty child in the background. Her eyes said— _just wait till we get home, you are in for it._ This expression, combined with a magnificent black hat was terrifying. There was a hint of witchy about her. Not that Anna believed in witches _. It was just another way for the historic male hierarchy to subjugate women because of their superior alternative medicine. There I go again—_ she blushed into the pale reflection of green. _Still... the Black Hat does look very scary._

Anna's breathing began to steady as her eyes slid over the more average looking ancestors and stopped at her Great Aunt Daisy. Daisy's eyes flashed with high spirits and stray beautiful strands of dark hair fell out of a low complicated hair knot. Her hat was slipping, almost covering one eye as she twirled a paper parasol. She peeked out from under the brim with a look that would not have been out of place on the cover of Vogue or in a Face Book profile photo. Her lips were puckered and her arm was flung around her sister Agnes' neck, who looked away with an uncomfortable smile, slightly blurred as if she were trying to shirk off Daisy _. Poor Agnes_... _Daisy was loving herself sick! Was it possible to take a photo of one's self with a Kodak brownie in the 1910s?_ She would need to google it.

Daisy's perfect bold smile reminded Anna of Jacqui. She had a confidence that eluded Anna and Dylan could only pretend at. It hinted at taking risks. Jacqui would fling her long blonde gingery locks over one shoulder, hand on hip, head tipped to one side and mouth pursed. _S –M – I – L – E._

And she had an incurable case of FOMO. Jacqui spent hours searching for the next big thing. In reality, they spent a lot of time on Anna's front verandah talking and making plans. She and Dylan still did, sometimes Jacqui went out with 'other pals'. Anna didn't know the 'other pals.' They weren't kids from school, she pictured them as faceless vampires.

But there was something else in Daisy's fragile beauty that reminded her of Jacs, a certain kindness and spirit she couldn't quite put her finger on. It was not just that Great Aunty Daisy looked like too much fun but yes... she could see Daisy and Jacqui getting on famously and having a 'divine' time together. Images of the pair of them doing the Charleston and then attending techno raves zipped past in her mind's eye. Anna always felt very fortunate that Jacqui had chosen her as her best friend but that fortunate feeling morphed into an insecure feeling in a heartbeat. _Was it normal to be jealous of a ghost girl that didn't exist? What is wrong with me? Why do I have to be so bloody intense?_ She remembered the picture of herself about to leap up and go for the jugular on a rather taken aback Mr. Trigwell. It wasn't pretty.

She knew Jacqui never meant to make her feel this way. Jacqui was always joyful, insanely joyful and carelessly joyful. But she was always on her side. It was Anna who was the in house voice of doom. Or was she the voice of reason? Anna exhaled. She wasn't sure anymore but at least the shaming tears had subsided. It had taken her two whole minutes. _Emotion... totally overated!_

Jacqui squeezed her hand and laid her head on Anna's shoulder. "Come on Miss Annakins, now I know you get pissed off when I buy crap off the Internet and I know you are always right. You just made my conscience prickle... a little. Can you let go of my hand so I can see how my eBay bid is going for a divinely hand crafted woodlands themed brooch," she said mischievously. "It's one of a kind!"

Dylan yawned noisily, "Okay dolls, show's over. It's time to finish off the fondue, I'll fry up the croutons." He attempted to stand up but Anna dragged him back down into his chair with a loud plop. "Goodness, you have man hands Anna!! Remember, I'm a delicate flower."

Anna turned back to the photo wall and concentrated. _Come on sane, attractive, adjusted relative present NOW_ she thought. She had no idea what was propelling her forward in this supernatural adventure but felt compelled to keep going. And she knew it wasn't to satisfy Jacqui or annoy Dylan.

Her eye caught two handsome soldiers. She knew the soldier sitting down was her relative, Great Uncle Les. There was another man in the photo. He was standing up with his hand on Les' shoulder. An empty box of cigarettes lay near his boots. He had a twinkle in his eye and a pimple on his incredibly chiselled jaw. _Nice eyes too_. She felt herself blush. Someone had typed ' **France 1917'** on a tiny slip of yellowing paper. It was probably her own Great Nanna, Charlotte, Les' little sister who had ended up addicted to talent shows, labelling guns and Minties.

"Uncle Les!" she shouted into the sombre night air.

"WHO?" shouted Dylan and Jacqui.

"Uncle Les, up there on the wall, he looks like a nice guy. We have an original photo of him and I'm a blood relative, distant I know but still it's better than some overpriced phony signature on a woman's mag. No offence Jacqui," Anna added quickly.

"None taken darling but Dylan is right, I'm feeling peckish and a wee bit drained too. We will give it another five minutes and if the table isn't levitating we will break for more congealed cheese!"

Anna found herself saying thank you. Shocked, Dylan raised his eyes and shoulders at Jacqui.

"Okay Annakins, my aura must be experiencing massive cosmic interference, your turn. Let's say G'day to your Lesley," beamed Jacqui.

"Hark now, Uncle Les, come hither good soul," demanded Dylan.

Anna ignored him and began her inter dimensional flight check, "Candles lit, check. Glass upside down, check. OMG guys, you are meant to put your hand on the glass, we are the electrical conduit... okay so now fingers pressing lightly on glass, check."

Jacqui smiled, "Slight oversight, that's all."

"Well, let's try Heathy baby again," pouted Dylan.

"NO!" said Jacqui with lightning speed.

Anna calmly plodded on. She loved ticking stuff off lists. "Extra perceptive animal present, check. Prospective spirit, Uncle Les, check. Object from the deceased, original photo, check. Let us begin." Anna took a deep breath. _That was the most insane thing I have ever said but it feels good... but remember to make these two swear to secrecy... yeah... pointless!_

"We are calling on the ghost of Leslie McNamara, formerly an Australian soldier of the Western Front. Of late, dead." _Okay, now that was awkward!_

Dylan stifled a giggle.

"Anything else to add between those two valiant extremes," prompted Jacqui.

"Well, I know he was injured and returned home. He couldn't return to his normal job because of the injuries. I think he would have been in a lot of pain. Ummmh... he lived alone in an RSL flat and enjoyed a beer or two. He had a couple of good mates from his army days and they were pretty close... ummh I think he died of old age in the Seventies."

Anna looked up to see tears streaming down Jacqui's face. _There is sympathetic and then there is unhinged._

"Poor, poor Uncle Les, I feel so sorry for him. He looks so handsome and his life ended up being so wretched." By now Jacqui was whispering in staccato sobs.

"Well I don't know about wretched, but it was certainly altered," whispered back Anna. _Jacqui is an old softie_. Anna remembered another reason why she liked her so much.

"Shall we chant his name," whispered Dylan subdued.

"No, too undignified," replied Anna. "Let's throw away the Wiki how to notes and just concentrate on his image."

"I agree," sniffled Jacqui.

The three of them turned to the wall, gazing intently at the soldier's image. A calm descended over the room, like the exhaustion that follows a good cry. Lottie the puppy slept on in a deep supernatural free slumber. A slight stink stealthily made its way out of her but went unnoticed as the three were almost in a trance.

Dylan was the first to crack as he glanced at his watch.

"Jacqui, you said five minutes and we have been here for nine—" he stopped suddenly.

The dog was going crazy. She stood up on all fours and started growling and shivering. She looked beyond the three of them at the green wall. She was staring at the photo of the two soldiers.

Anna's hair resumed its electrification, as did Jacqui's and Dylan's. Every hair on their body stood up in alarm and anticipation. Jacqui's eyes became wild with fear as she felt the glass pull towards the letter 'L'.

"Don't be afraid," said Anna, feeling serene and in control. She smiled soothingly at Dylan who was starting to wheeze.

The dog started barking loudly, interspersed with growls. She leapt up and began jumping up at the wall, attempting to scratch the green paint away under Leslie and his friend's image.

The glass shifted again gaining momentum and speed. It made a clear path to the letter 'E'. Dylan's eyes were almost popping out of his head.

"Is that you Les?" she asked kindly but with a hint of authority.

The glass whizzed over to the letter 'O'.

"L E O," stated Anna. She frowned deeply.

"Who the hell is LEO?" asked Jacqui. "This isn't funny Dylan, whatever you are doing, stop it," she shouted.

"I'm trying to breathe and not poo myself," gasped Dylan looking blotchy and ill.

"Who are you?" commanded Anna.

The picture of Les and his unnamed friend vibrated on the wall like it was possessed. It flipped up and down on its hook and then fell to the floor smashing into tiny pieces.

"I'M OUTTA HERE," screamed Dylan. As he stood up, he knocked his chair to the ground. He slammed on the lights as he opened the door and didn't stop until he was out on the pavement. He shook uncontrollably as he reached into his jean pocket, searching for his saviour, Ventolin. He sucked back furiously on his reliever while trying to think of happy thoughts, rocking his head from side to side like a Dickensian feverish orphan dying in the gutter. With chattering teeth, he muttered into the nippy air, "Coloured skinny leg jeans, perhaps in aqua or a warming chai latte with a shot of mocha, a crunchy Florentine on the side." He coughed loudly into the night. When he regained strength he whispered, "Oh Dadu, I thought you would be the first to cross the Eternal River Ganges but it is I who light the way."

"Dylan, Dylan, are you alright?"

He looked over his shoulder to see the two girls jumping over the hedge and following him out to the roadside. He lay down on the footpath with his puffer in hand. "Ladies and children first," he said weakly.

Jacqui grabbed his hand, "Just concentrate on breathing."

He felt her hand. It was shaking and Anna's face had gone a beetroot colour as she crouched beside him. She looked like an out of focused mini Kevin as she ran her hands through her highly charged hair. "Shall I call an ambulance?" she asked with unusual tenderness.

"No doll face, I want to die so we can communicate via Ouija board all the time. It's such fun," he said wanly.

"I guess you're okay then," said Jacqui as she propped him up.

"It's the smoke. I'm very sensitive to the smell and that was getting mighty strong in there. Where was it coming from? Is Liam back from up North?" he quizzed.

"No," sighed Anna as she thought of her brother. He would have been uber cool in this situation. She missed Liam and hoped he was reading her emails on the danger of his alarming FIFO carbon footprint and his teeny tiny tobacco lung capacity.

"Have you been back to your asthma specialist recently?" Anna stroked his arm like he was one of her dogs. Dylan found it was peculiarly comforting. "You might need to. Try not to think about whatever that was... I'm sure there must be a logical explanation," said Anna. "I just can't think of one right now." _Except for I raised a ghost!_

"How about this one?" replied Jacqui, "we invited an unknown ghost into your freshly painted dining slash formal room. Your mum is going to be devastated. And your dad, it's too scary to think about." She blinked back tears.

Dylan lay back down and puffed his final puff. The girls helped him into a beanbag on the front verandah.

"Stay here," commanded Jacqui. "We are gong to rescind our invitation."

"Rescind?'' said Anna.

"Yes, you know rescind. Humans are always rescinding invitations to vampires in the movies and on telly. It means I'm very sorry to have let you in, my mistake, now piss off," replied Jacqui.

"I'm not sure what works for the living dead in American TV land will work for the dead dead in Australian REAL LIFE!" shouted Anna.

Jacqui whipped out her smart phone. After several failed attempts at typing in ' _Getting rid of ghosts you invited in'_ she gave up. Her hands were shaking and her fingers would not hit the right letters.

Anna gently took the phone off her and settled her down into the rocking chair. Jacqui's face looked abnormally blank. Anna collapsed into a tired looking armchair and picked up her tablet. She typed in various questions, sighed and put the tablet down. Normally, it was the source of all answers, their Great Oz of information. Instead of feeling at a loss, Anna felt empowered with newly tapped intuition leading her.

"OH NO," Anna jumped up, "where is Lottie?" she said, storming back into the dining room.

Dylan and Jacqui locked eyes and wondered if they should follow. Jacqui was the first to move after her. The three of them were greeted with a shocking mess. Dylan turned around and walked back out of the room with his hand over his mouth. The scented candles had been tipped over and had bled wax all over the recently shellacked dining table. Chairs were flung throughout the room.

All the remaining frames on the wall were upside down or back to front. Several faces lay shattered on the floor. The Ouija board had been thrown into the wall and removed a great chip out of the newly painted plaster. The picture of the two soldiers was now sitting on the mantelpiece. The glass had fragmented into tiny shards. The effect was chilling.

Lottie was whimpering under the table with her belly on the ground in a puddle of wee and she was trembling violently. Anna climbed underneath and quietly pulled her out. She had left several little nuggets.

Jacqui was speechless, "I feel... I feel—" She didn't know how she felt. "Let's wake up your parents, I feel scared," she admitted.

Anna turned to leave with Lottie tucked firmly under her arm. Lottie crammed her head up into Anna's armpit, freaked but calming down. She sensed whatever had been in this room was no longer here... for the moment.

"Where are you going?" whispered Jacqui. Anna looked at her incredulously. "I'm going to get Mum and Dad, like YOU suggested thirty seconds ago."

"You can't leave me here," pleaded Jacqui.

"Fine, come with me," retorted Anna.

"What about our brave lad out the front?" said Jacqui, nodding her head in the direction of Dylan. "We can't leave him alone, he is probably seeing pixies dancing in front of his eyes with the amount of reliever he has inhaled."

"Fine, go and get Dylan, hold his hand, turn on all the lights and wake Mum and Dad," snapped Anna. "I will stay here and clean up the poo, otherwise Dad will lose his mind altogether."

"Poo versus poltergeist? I'd take a cup of doggy doo doo any day," muttered Jacqui as she hastened down the hallway back to Dylan.

"Come on Dylan, we are going for reinforcements. Let's wake up Kevin and Natalie." She held his hand and led him back into the house and down the passage, flicking on every light switch she found.

"Well one good thing has come from this," mumbled Dylan, wiping his snotty nose on his designer sleeve. "We can confirm Nicole and Keith really do have undying love for each other... although it has been tested."

"There you go, Dylan. Good on you for finding the silver lining," she muttered as she wiped the snot off his cheek with a tissue.

"But a few years fall short of forever," she whispered under her breath while her outstretched hand fumbled for the light switch. When she switched on the kitchen light, the sight before them made them jump. "Oh my God, he is here. Leo is here," squeaked Dylan.

They clutched at each other terrified unitl Jacqui relaxed, slightly and whispered, "No Dylan, you and I made this shocking mess. Remember you changed personality after a thimble full of brandy."

They had arrived at Anna's parents' door to find the door was shut. "Oh no, I'd rather raise Stalin from the dead, than disturb the unholy act that is going on behind this door," Jacqui pleaded, freezing mid knock.

"OMG, it's one am in the morning, they're old people. I guarantee you they will be fast asleep with their specs on their noses and their books on their bellies. Just knock already," wheezed Dylan imploringly.

Anna grabbed a paper napkin and walked towards the table. She wavered, turned around and tiptoed over to the mantlepiece. She felt FURIOUS. She had been practising 'pissed off' all her life for this moment. She was seething. _What kind of bad mannered monster had created this chaos?_ It looked like a Halloween stagesetting ready for Chucky or Krueger. Despite this, Anna felt a curious lack of fear. She had registered this unfamiliar centred feeling during the séance when she had taken control. Calmly, she shook the glass off the photo on the mantelpiece and examined the damage. The frame's corners had become dislodged. She carefully lifted the image from its yellowing mount. It was like peeling a sticker. One top corner peeled away easily then it became stuck. If she pulled any harder she would rip Uncle Les' head off. It was an original photograph nearly one hundred years old. The two papers, photo and the mount had bonded into one over time. She caught the words in faint pencil, Leslie and 'L'. There was also the start of a quotation mark.

_Is it worth decapitating Les to confirm the mystery ghost's identity?_ Anna held her breath and with her fingernail, she nudged the picture back a couple of millimetres. It revealed an, 'E'. Anna thought she might pass out from excitement. She kept on scratching, "Come on Uncle Les, keep your head on, just one more letter." A semicircle came into sight, and then it became an, 'O'.

"Yes!" she smiled. She felt like punching the air in triumph but remembered that was not her style.

Anna felt galvanized. A powerful force surged through her just as Dylan, Jacqui and Natalie entered the room. They had linked arms and found it difficult to negotiate the doorframe. They shimmied sideways like frightened crabs, eyes out on stalks. Kevin came in with his baseball bat raised in his arms. He was wearing his mustard coloured jocks and mismatched socks. The sight of Kevin nearly nude snapped Dylan back into some kind of lucidity. "Oh my, Mrs. G—I see why you call him Chewbacca behind his back."

Anna's parents glared at him but this snide remark was lost as they faced the mess. Natalie shook her head in disbelief. She unhooked her arm from Dylan and slowly walked around the room, shaking her head and pacing the floor, trying to speak. Small little gulpy sobs filled the air. Kevin lowered his bat and turned to face the three of them.
CHAPTER FIVE

Heartburn and Poop

Kevin put his arm around his wife and pulled her close. Over the top of her head, he roared, "What in blazes have you been doing? Did you bring some of that hippy weed your mother smokes into this house?" he pointed a stumpy accusing finger at Jacqui. She burst into tears and replied, "No, Mr. Grey."

"What about you Dylan? Did you drink all the brandy and go on some bloody modern dance psychotic bender," he swivelled around like a wobbling bowling pin and pointed his finger upwards at the boy who towered over him.

"No Mr. Grey," he wiped his nose and tried to control his wobbly bottom lip but failed and began howling.

Kevin now fixed his attention on his daughter and threw his hairy arms up in the air forcing his gorilla man boobs to shake. "And you Anna, you're supposed to be the sensible one, what in God's name happened in here?" Anna bit her top lip too but was trying not to laugh out loud, she was beyond overwrought and the night was skidding by like a surreal black comedy.

"OMG! Dad you are embarrassing me, stop it. Leo happened Dad so please stop shouting at my friends. Dylan is about to have his second serious asthma attack and Jacqui is not feeling herself at all," Anna countered, trying hard to keep the rising giggly hysteria out of her voice.

"Who the hell is Leo, is he one of Jacqui's boyfriends? He didn't hurt you did he," his tone softened.

"No Mr. Grey," Jacqui sniffled and tried to stop sobbing.

"Leo is a friend of Uncle Les," offered Anna as she patted Dylan's back and pointed to the photo.

"What is this bullshit you are telling me? Les has been dead for over thirty five years." Kevin's nostrils quivered in fury. "He was long dead before I met your mother!" His face darkened as veins danced on top of his fleshy hairy cheeks.

Natalie pulled her head off his chest and started patting Kevin's back in long soothing strokes.

"Remember your blood pressure Kev. They are only young kids having a bit of fun," she soothed and turned to face the trio in an attempt to pacify them.

"Fun," shouted Kev, "I'll show them bloody fun."

"Shoosh love, Kevin settle down," whispered Natalie distractedly. She let go of her husband and tried to sniff the air surreptitiously while a kind of fear marked with excitement trickled out of her eyes. Anna watched, shocked as her mother mouthed the word 'Leo' several times with almost a longing. Her head turned slowly and she looked into all the corners of the room before she shook her herself briskly and turned back to Anna.

Natalie pulled herself together and swiftly carried on, "When I was growing up all the tall tales about Uncle Les involved a couple of chaps. Their names were, oh I can't remember. But one started with 'B' and the other fellow had a missing hand. I think they called him Piano something, umm Piano man Pat. His name was Patrick and the other fellow was... I don't know," Natalie scrunched up her face in a mock concentrated effort to retrieve the name, trying hard not to breathe in the horrible smokey smell.

"I don't give a damn if his name was 'Blue eyed Bob," stormed Kevin.

"It was Bill! I just remembered it, his name was Bill." Natalie gave a little weak smile.

"Please don't encourage this nonsense Nat darling. The fact is our room is trashed and," he stomped his way over to the table, "your table is damaged AND I can smell pooh." He sniffed the air suspiciously. He put his hands on either side of his naked paunch and began to search for the offensive logs.

By now, Natalie was gripped by a memory and burbled on, "Bill and Pat were quite attached to Les. The two of them used to get invited to all our family events. It was always someone else's wedding, baptism or twenty-first. They sat in on the edge of someone else's life. They would drink and smoke and laugh loudly. And then go home to their lonely flats and the bottle. I was about ten years old when Les died. I remember his funeral. It was a very small affair—you know he fought in the First World War."

Jacqui's controlled crying became piteous again.

"So very sad," she cried. Natalie put her arm around her. Anna turned to face her father.

"Dad, calm down. We had a little séance, that's all. First we tried to contact Heath Ledger but he was not at home. So then we tried Uncle Les. He was obviously otherwise engaged but he must have sent his mate Leo here instead," said Anna evenly.

"Heath Ledger! For the love of God Anna, what would he want with a bunch of schoolgirls like you lot. NO offence Dylan."

"None taken Mrs. G," he whispered.

"Please Natalie, you aren't helping," fumed Kev.

"Let's just say Jacqui had a vested interest in him," Anna replied quickly and smiled at Jacqui.

Jacqui paused her sobbing to groan mournfully, "I'm so, so, so, so sorry Anna and Dylan and Mrs. Grey and Mr. Grey... and Uncle Leslie." She hiccupped, sniffled and went limp with the effort of trying to control the tears that racked her petite frame.

Natalie faced the three friends and in her best motherese voice said, "Now sweethearts, Uncle Les would never visit a séance. He was a good Catholic man. He would never send anyone in his place," she tried to laugh as if the thought was ridiculous but failed. She pulled her dressing gown closely as she announced loudly, "Séances are the work of the Devil. I think we all need a nice cup of tea and maybe a bickie."

She looked around the room again. It certainly looked like the work of the Devil. _Where is that unholy smell coming from? The smell... the smell..._ Natalie stood very still, her skin prickling and heart beating wildly. "I don't remember a Leo attending the parties with Les, I do remember Pat had an eye for the ladies and I thought he was a bit of a creep... very inappropriate jokes after a beverage or two."

"Look Mum," Anna turned the photo over and showed her Les sitting next to an upright young man. "This is Leo. Uncle Les must have met up with Leo over in France. Look, it says France 1917. Leo might have been a West Aussie over there too. I don't know, I know that this man's name is Leo and we channelled him with no way of knowing that. It is only because of Leo's poltergeisty hissy fit that the frame came apart. It confirmed the name. He confirmed his name. Look for yourself," Anna turned the photo back over and passed it around.

Natalie's hands trembled, "Nobody knows anything about Leo. Nobody. I often wondered what happened... I found the picture in my Great Aunt Agnes' belongings after she died."

"You can guess what happened to him mother, maybe he died shortly after the photo was taken. He looks pretty young. You said yourself Les never spoke about the war. I bet he would have told Bill and Pat," she added softly.

"Long dead," replied Natalie. She touched her chest with a closed fist, striking it gently three times in an antiquated fashion and then rubbing it like she had heartburn.

"You are so clever and brave Annakins, I only left you for a minute and you worked it all out," said Jacqui, her voice warbled.

"Nothing is worked out Jacqui," Anna replied flatly.

"Well you know what I think," piped up Kevin, "I think we should apply Occam's razor to this situation."

"What's that Mr. Grey?" asked Dylan. Anna and Natalie groaned.

"Occam's razor is a way of looking at things. The most obvious answer is usually the right answer. The most obvious answer is you bloody kids had yourselves a little party and concocted this ghost rubbish to get yourselves out of trouble. Well, you don't fool me, in fact liars make me very— "

He stopped mid sentence as a nugget of dog poo hit his forehead and slowly slid down his nose. Kev was speechless. Lottie the puppy had plenty to say as she jumped yapping hysterically from Anna's arms, through the open front door and into the cold frosty night.

Everyone was speechless. They watched as a turd made its way from under the table and smacked Kevin in the middle of his beer belly. Kevin started screaming and ran to the back of the house with Natalie following close behind. As she moved through the doorframe, she looked back over her shoulder and shouted enraged, "Cut it out Leo, or I'm telling Mary Ellen again." The third canine turd was dropped mid air.

Jacqui, Dylan and Anna stood frozen in the green room. Terror rooted them to the spot. They looked at each other mentally for a moment before Jacqui and Dylan tripped over each other's feet as they dived for the doorway. Dylan emerged first into the chilly hallway and continued out into the freezing night. Jacqui stood in the passage and hugged herself for warmth, "Come on Anna, let's go to Dylan's."

Anna shook herself and then began to move methodically. She picked up the paper napkin and proceeded to scoop the splattered poop off the floor. Jacqui tentatively placed her head through the open door, "What are you doing? Let's get out of here!!"

"Someone has to clean up Lottie's squirties, the rug is new and Mum loves it... it's okay, he's not here," said Anna without looking up.

"How do you know?" asked Jacqui wide eyed.

"I get this feeling," whispered Anna.

"You don't do feelings, you do facts remember... something big is going on here Anna... BIG... come on Dyl, Anna says it's okay."

Jacqui and Dylan tiptoed back into the room. Jacqui picked up the throw rug from the chaise and wrapped it around herself but found herself still shivering uncontrollably. Wrapped in the handmade quilt with her hair tousled by the doorway breeze, she looked like a romantic and tragically poetic figure.

"The Lady of Shallot," remarked Dylan without expression.

Jacqui opened her mouth and nothing came out.

"The dog is not to have cheese or dairy again. Ever," said Anna looking at Dylan. Dylan's head swivelled like a broken Ken doll as his mouth worked independently of his brain. He would not shut up, "It's not my fault the dog shat itself, you are unbelievable... I nearly shat myself and I'm not lactose intolerant!"

Anna wasn't cold, she felt a tingling sensation warm her heart and move through her body. Her heart felt better when she rubbed her sternum. She had a vague feeling she had watched her mother do the same thing minutes before.

"Your Mum, your Mum, she knows Leo. How can that be? What is going on here? Has every one gone mad?" asked Dylan. "She is so ordinary, no offence... I'm mean nice ordinary... if any of our Mums were going to be psychic I would have put my money on Corinne. I love your Mum, but is she a match for a poo flinging ectoplasm? NO offence poo flinging ectoplasm, that was kind of cool." He continued to swivel his head from side to side, eyes like saucers.

"Yes," answered Anna firmly. She continued to clean up. All the time she could feel her heart pleasantly burning.

"And who is this Mary Ellen?" asked Jacqui as she collapsed onto the chaise.

"Well whoever she is, I love her and your Mum," said Dylan pulling up an upholstered chair. Tentatively, he sat down checking the chair for poo and ectoplasm then eyed the air suspiciously for falling spidery doilies.

"She is the scary one, I mean she is my Great Great Grandmother." Anna scanned the photo wall—she wasn't there. They found her on the far side of the room. The frame looked like a very naughty child had stamped up and down on her. Anna picked her up and gingerly fingered the fractured glass. Her fingers tingled. She showed the photograph to the others. "Yikes," exclaimed Dylan, "It's the "Woman in Black," he jumped off his chair.

"The Woman in Black?"

"Didn't you see the movie with that tiny Radcliffe fellow in it? She is evilness in a black lace bonnet, not unlike that one," he pointed to Mary's head attire.

"Do you think my mother would raise an evil witch?" laughed Anna.

"Three hours ago, no, but everything has changed. Everything has changed." Dylan slumped down in his seat. His head was still shaking, "Everything has changed forever."

The warm feeling in her chest turned to a feeling akin to being locked in a sauna. Leo was close. Anna had a flash of inspiration. "Please return from whence you came!" Nothing happened except Dylan sat bolt up right and said, "He is back and you're talking like me. We're screwed!"

"PISS OFF LEO!"

Anna restrained herself from telling Dylan to piss off too. At last, she could feel the cool night air. Dropping to the ground, she suddenly felt very tired.

"Leo, my friends and my Mum are really tired. My sister Beth is having a baby and my Dad has just started blood pressure medication, I mean, very strong heart pills. Please just go back to where you came from. Sorry for disturbing you," she added shakily. A conciliatory smile wobbled temporarily on her face. "Please go away, I want this to end now."

Jacqui stood up and dropped the blanket to the floor.

"Oh I'm so hot and I feel like I have a spider crawling on me." She started slapping and swatting at herself. Anna could see one corner of Jacqui's vintage peasant skirt move up by itself revealing her knees. Dylan started coughing and hacking and made a lunge for the outside world. The smell of cigarette and ash lay invisibly thick in the air.

Anna stood up and moved towards Jacqui. She embraced her in an awkward bear hug and danced her to the door. The warm sensation in her chest felt like an inferno. Jacqui's eyes were glassy with fear and astonishment.

She didn't let go until they were out on the verandah. She waltzed her into the beanbag. Anna put her hand to her chest, her heart was racing a little at the exertion of partnering Jacqui to safety. But it was not burning any more.

"He is not here, I get a feeling in my chest when he is close by." Anna stood in the door way... nothing but when she tiptoed down the hall and approached the green room, a vague tingle pulsed through her arteries and she felt light as if her heart was made of coppery cable, tickling her chest and conducting messages she never thought possible. She leaned into the green room door and felt her heart palpitating. Leo was still there, "Please just go," she whispered into the heavy door.

Anna returned to the verandah and found Dylan and Jacqui huddled together on the beanbag, bug eyed and delirious. Their teeth chattered and their hands shook. Dylan's enormous feet twitched independently of each other.

"We are going home to my house, Anna," whispered Dylan, "to say we are freaked out is an understatement. We will see you tomorrow." And with that Dylan stood up and helped Jacqui unsteadily to her feet. As they passed through the front hedge gate, Jacqui turned and said tremulously, "I've always wanted to be touched by an angel, not poked by a poltergeist Annakins. I feel like I'm losing my mind." She turned and walked numbly across the street, clutching at Dylan's designer sweater. _Jacqui is obviously recovering enough to make irritating statements._

Anna sighed heavily, relieved that the pair were gone and turned back to face the house. She could see her Mum standing in the doorway and remembered her whispering the name 'Leo' into the void of the green room, half expecting an answer.

"Time for a cup of tea love," Nat said, tying up her dressing gown. "We might as well start at the beginning."
CHAPTER SIX

Are You Lonesome Tonight?

"Those two will be alright," said Nat, as she put out her hand to help Anna up the last step. "Dylan is made of sterner stuff than he thinks, he just hasn't realised it yet. How is Jacs?"

"She's fine!" barked Anna.

Nat smiled wanly as they made their way down the long hall. An unnatural rush of energy threw off their heavy blanket of exhaustion as they attempted to pass the green room door. Anna's heart fizzed and sparked. Natalie beat her chest with the palm of her hand as if she intended to dislodge some irritation, like a cough drop swallowed whole.

"It feels like he is leaning on the other side of the door listening to us," whispered Anna.

"He probably is," whispered back Natalie, "but he can't go too far, Mary Ellen hobbled him."

"Of course she did," answered Anna matter of factly. The night was starting to feel fantastical in a crazy way. Anna ticked off the rapidly multiplying list of madness in her brain.

1. Raised an unknown ghost.

2. Mum knows unknown ghost.

3. Unknown ghost won't piss off.

4. Thankfully to the Black Hat, unknown ghost is stuck in the green room.

5. Black Hat could be a witch, hopefully a flower essence one and not a bag of bones one.

"We should deal with him now but I need a bit of time. I asked him to leave. Maybe he will just disappear?" said Anna.

"Fat chance," snorted Natalie.

A mournful voice penetrated the heavy old door, "Please Natalie, don't get Mary Ellen again."

"Behave yourself then!"

"Mum, what do we do?"

Anna was used to plucking the perfect answer from her bountiful tree of knowledge. Her intuition was fading and all she knew was that Leo had to go back from wherever it was she had released him. It was her fault.

"Where is Dad?"

"He is in the back shed with the dogs. You know that coffee table he started to make when you were eleven years old? He has the sudden urge to finish it off tonight! He is in a state. You know, I could actually see the capillaries popping across his cheeks in a Mexican wave. That is, I could once I washed the crap off and swabbed him with disinfectant. Let's have a cuppa, I need a little caffeine sugar boost and then I might go and put on some lippy and brush my hair. Maybe find my push up bra." She mouthed and mimed the last part. Natalie ran her hand over her grey roots to settle them back down and attempted to tighten her dressing gown belt—to discover her waist from twenty-five years ago.

Anna could not have been more surprised if her mother had declared the need for the blood of three young virgins and an ox to perform an ancient yet highly effective ritual. _We are down a virgin_ she thought grimly, seeing the tattoo reptile slither away.

"Milo, I need Milo," was all she could say in response.

"I raise you to Tim Tams," laughed Natalie.

They sat down at the large wooden table and suddenly became very coy and self-conscious with each other. Anna inspected a mole on the back of her hand. Natalie kept tucking strands of hair behind her ears. One had raised a dead soldier and the other was already on a first name basis with him. They were not just connected by blood. They were bonded in a rare and mystical gift.

"How?" blurted out Anna.

"How do I know him?"

"Yes, yes we will get to that but first _how_ can we sense him, how did we hear him... OMG—have you ever seen him?"

"Yes... and if you've just heard him then you will be able to see him too."

"How do we see him... what is special about us?" Anna knew she was smart, well organized and of impeccable idealogy but this kind of special was not what she had in mind.

"I don't know love. No idea."

Natalie didn't care _how_ the gift worked, she spent her life regretting the _why_ not the _how_. Why did she have the ability to see the dead? _Why me?_ And now the _gift_ ensnared her daughter. Sensible Anna was on the verge of having her orderly little world smashed into a thousand pieces. The veil had been lifted.

"Who else has this—" Anna struggled to find the right word.

_Curse,_ thought Natalie.

"Power," finished Anna.

"Aunty Agnes... you may know her as blurry girl from the wall."

"Agnes? Sister of Daisy?" _I knew I liked her!_

Nat sniffed, drained the last of her sugary drink, found the brandy and poured until the last spec of sugar in her empty cup was swimming in alcohol. She didn't like going back, back to that night — the night the weirdo button was switched on but there was no escaping it.

"And now I suppose you are wondering how I know Leo," Nat slurped down her sugary brandy like a desiccated vampire.

"Well, it was 1978 and I was ten," she fell silent but her memory ran forward.

_Disgusted, she sniffs the ashy nicotine curls rising in the air and tries to move away from the raucous noise coming from the patio. Uncle has just finished singing 'When Irish eyes are Smiling,' and her mother and Aunt are about to launch into 'Danny Boy,' in rounds. She starts cleaning up the beer and shandy glasses and pulls the toothpicks out of the cocktail onions, popping them back into the still green ocean of the pickle jar. Aunt Agnes has already beaten her to the sink and is washing dishes like an irritated robot. She sees Auntie's neat reflection in the tinted window, her face captured between the café curtains. Agnes grimaces, as her youngest sister Nanna Charlotte warbles out the Elvis tune,_ _'_ _Are you Lonesome Tonight?' in her erratic mezzo soprano voice. It sounds terrible._

The family is in the death throws of a wake for their Uncle Les who has died. Their returned veteran soldier has died of old age and a weary heart. His medals and his slouch hat are laid out in amongst flowers and condolence cards on the mantelpiece. The Rising Sun twinkles by the light of the lava lamp. His crutches are propped to the side of the fireplace—no one is sure what to do with the things.

Suddenly, she sees two faces in the window—Agnes' white tight hair bun and toothless smile grinning at... Uncle Les. The very dead Uncle Les. Her heart burns as she shakes her head in disbelief. She knows she has eaten all the red sausages but could that combined with an outrageous amount of Fanta bring on a hallucination? She looks again. She sees a dark green shadow step back. The reflection vanishes in an instant. She turns quickly and there is nothing behind her. But for the smell... the smell...

Uncle Les looks up, sees her open mouth and winks at her. Agnes turns around and places her finger on her lip, "Top lip buttoned up," she smiles. She looks past her, inhales and frowns.

Uncle Les says, "Good bye Miss Natsy," and bows deeply as he takes off his old hat and disappears into the hot summer night.

Agnes continues washing up so Nat picks up a tea towel and falls into a soothing motion of drying up the dishes. After a few minutes, Agnes says, "We are special dear, we can see the dead. Don't be afraid darlin."

But she is afraid. Make it go away. Why me she thinks?

Agnes wipes down the lime green bench, pulls a chocolate bar out of her pocket for her, calls a taxi and is gone. She is grateful it is not a banana, Agnes' second favourite handy snack.

The party is dissolving slowly and sleeping kids are gathered up in armfuls by tired parents.

_She walks home with her family through the hot heavy night air. Top lip is buttoned! Her father stops for a spew as her mother continues to hum happily, 'Cockles and Mussels_ _... alive... alive oh'._

At home, she climbs into bed with her sister. Her sister's sweaty fat arm wraps itself around her neck and they snuggle down. The dark green shadow pushes itself back into her mind's eye. Blurry lumps of colour... flesh, straw, green and a bolt of sky blue settle to form a face. Did she see a third face in the reflection of the window? She sits up in bed and there by the door is the very face. It has acquired the body of a young soldier.

" _Les?" she whispers hopefully as she strains to see a clearer image._

" _It's not Les," is the low reply._

" _Then GO AWAY!" she shouts._

But the soldier only moves closer. His hands reach out toward her. To do what? Smother her? Strangle her? "Go away!" she screams again. Her sister is rolling over and waking up now. "I need help," says the soldier. "I'm stuck. I need Les, please get Les for me. Agnes doesn't like me. She won't help me. Les will set me straight. Please." He picks up her sister's small teddy from the bed and jiggles it around, hoping to make her smile, hoping to reassure her. But it just makes her scream louder. Her sister sits bolt upright as her mother turns on the light and enters the room. She walks straight through the soldier as he implores, "Tell Les it's Leo, Leo from across the way... make sure you ask for Les... Les McNamara."

Then he is gone.

" _MUM— NATSY HAS PIDDLED IN MY BED!" shouts her sister._

"Mother are you in there? Can you hear me? I know you are having some sort of psychedelic flashback from the look on your face but may I remind you, time is of the essence and although I can sense a spirit... I can't read your mind. I've tried for years. Just start at the beginning!"

_Where to start_? Natalie thought wildly, shaking herself out of her reverie as she snapped down on a biscuit and chewed feverishly staring into Anna's big brown impatient eyes... _The facts, the facts are all that are required at this stage._

"I met him after Les' funeral... Les showed up and Leo made a cameo. He followed me home and asked me to get Les for him. Gave me a bit of a fright." Anna found herself reaching out to hold her mother's hand.

"It was my Great Aunt Agnes who got me through. I told her all about Leo. She told me Leo was a harmless young boy and not to worry about it. I was to leave it to her. So I did. He never bothered me again... until she died."

"And then what happened?" Anna pressed her, "I think more sugar and less spirit is required mother." She put the kettle back on. Natalie remained silent.

"Leo was certainly wound up tonight," she prompted. "The room looks like a bad tempered toddler has had a tantrum." Anna felt her inner bulldog woofing. _How dare that boy frighten my mother?_

"He's only a young lad. He has been trapped in a teenage hormonal funk for ninety-six years. Can you imagine that? He is an impulsive little larrikin... flinging poo and tickling Jacqui pass for a sense of humour to him. Aunty Aggie was never frightened of him. I think he bothered her like a mosquito bothers an elephant. But she sure was as mad as hell at him... why, I don't know, I really don't." She shook her head forlornly, "I wonder if Leo had known Les before the war. How else would he have known Aunty Aggie, I just don't know? Or if he had been waiting for Les or following him, he must have felt his way to Les' spiritist sister. You know, drawn to her. All I know is that he has tailgated our family for decade upon decade." Natalie shook her head at the enormity of that concept, "I think he is lonely. No. I know he is lonely."

Natalie's mobile phone blasted into action. The noise bounced off the kitchen ceiling and around the room. The two looked at each other in terror. She grabbed her bag and turned it upside down. The phone clattered onto the table and she finally answered it.

It was Nina, Dylan's Mum. Jacqui and Dylan had walked home in the rain. They were gibbering and soaking wet —Dylan's hair was flat. FLAT. Jacqui was singing and humming ' _Lest we Forget'_ with a very vacant look in her eye. Were they drunk or been using the mary joo wana leaves? Dylan had snot on his sweater for the love of Vishnu, SNOT on his Ralph Lauren! What was wrong with the pair of them? Something about Leo, wasn't he a lion or a star sign? What was wrong with them? Dylan was hugging Deepak and telling him he loved him like a brother. Arun would wake up with all this commotion and then Vishnu himself would not be able to help them.

Natalie took a deep breath and swig of brandy.

"Oh Nina, I'm so sorry, the three of them watched a really scary movie and it really upset them. You know how highly strung and impressionable they are. I'm sitting here with Anna and she still can't believe the things she saw. They got it out of Liam's suitcase under his bed. It's set in World War One ... it's quite graphic. I think it's called —" she took another slug of brandy and mouthed to Anna, _Find me more Tim Tams!_ "I think it was called 'Loopy Leo goes AWOL with a Lewis Gun', yes, it's not very nice......... yes they are very silly............... I think a very cold and calming cup of your yoghurty ghol is in order too. I'm sorry I didn't see them before they left, I was checking on Beth...... no, she is fine... Yes only six more weeks to go......... I know, it is very exciting........ She really enjoyed watching your Yoga Pregnancy DVD's but she can't do them, doctor's orders....... Thank you so much...... No no... Blake still visits everyday but she still won't see him............ Thank you so much............ What's that?... Dylan just fell asleep!....... Anna and I will pop round in the morning and we can all have a catch

up then. Bye Nina, love, bye."

She clicked off and looked at an impressed Anna. "Mum, you're an excellent liar, you make Jacqui look like a saint." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Thank you darling, that means a lot to me," she reached for the Tim Tams.

"I think that will hold them until tomorrow. We will tell Nina the truth of course. She is a very spiritual lady. It just seemed a little too much tonight over the phone."

"Now tell me the rest of your story," said Anna. Natalie sighed and poured more brandy into her mug.

"Agnes lived with my grandmother, her youngest sister, Nanna Charlotte. Ag had a room at the top of the house. It was painted dark green. She had heavy curtains that were always shut. It was dark and spooky but Aggie herself was as sweet and kind as a banana and chocolate addict could be. Bizarre. When she died, I was so upset. I had lost my mentor, my protector. I would occasionally, you know, see a dead person or hear one and I would go to Aggie for help, you know, she would offer advice, tell me it's all right, tell me I'm all right. Not Crazy."

Natalie started to blub, "Aggie knew she was dying, she called me to come and visit. She was in bed, she untied her hair and long white strands came down to the eiderdown. Her chin just about touched her nose and the fine downy hair on it had bristled right up. She was so beautiful to me. I loved her so much." Natalie cried and cried. Anna patted her hand and felt slightly panicky—she had never seen her mother so emotional. Natalie stood up and moved to the sink, she filled it with hot soapy water and began to wash the dishes with military precision as she fought to regain her composure.

Aggie handed me an old packet of photographs, 'For you' she whispered. Her hand shook like a vague earthquake. It fell back to the bed. Her rosary beads were in the other hand. Her last words were, 'Leo is not a bad lad. He would have been a good man, given the chance. I made a mistake. I was jealous and I made a mistake. God forgive me.' Then Aunt Agnes' breathing got shallower and shallower. I called for Mum and Nanna to come. But Aggie had gone. Gone to where she was supposed to go. I really thought she would step out of her body and become the beautiful young girl in the photos. But she didn't. She was dead and no longer tied to Earth. Things don't always turn out they way they do in movies. She was an old lady and Mum and Nanna had been expecting it so they got on with you know... tenderly fussing with the bed sheets and smoothing down the eiderdown, brushing her hair... you know... that sort of thing... to get ready for the doctor's pronouncement. I turned to freshen the flowers in a vase by her bedside and saw Leo standing at the base of the bed with his hat in his hand. He was going to miss her too or the link she represented. I didn't scream or piddle my pants, you will be thankful to know. I put my finger on my lips and acknowledged him. He broke into a big grin, I think he would have danced me around the bed with Aggie's body still warm, if Mum and Nanna hadn't have been there. He was euphoric. I motioned for him to vamoose now and come back later. He gave me a salute and happily marched off into the dark green nothingness."

Natalie smiled into space at that memory.

"I returned the next day and Leo was waiting for me. He was sitting on Aggie's stripped bed. The curtains were flung apart and the windows were propped open. I felt overwhelmingly sad, despite the big misty military hunk waiting on the bed for me and me alone. He asked me could I get a message to Les. That is Leo, straight to the point! No supernatural love affair for me. I said I hadn't seen Les since the night of the wake. Now I know you aren't religious Anna, but I felt, feel Uncle Les is in heaven. He never bothered me and his visits to Aggie were very infrequent and possibly they were for Aggie's sake and not Les'. I had never summoned a ghost. I spent my whole life avoiding them. But I said I would try my best to get in contact with him. Leo looked very chipper by the time we said goodbye. My heart was about to explode out of my chest the meeting was so intense." Natalie put her ear to the thick glass door to make sure Kevin was still drilling and hammering in the shed.

She turned back to Anna, "I tried, I really tried but part of me... part of me always resisted our 'special gift'." She looked down at her dressing gown and picked at bits of dog hair reminding Anna of a magpie on speed.

"I couldn't reach Les or Aggie or anyone. Meanwhile, Leo was popping up everywhere like an attention seeking puppy. I really was starting to lose my mind. I'd wake up and he would be next to me. I was frightened." Natalie wiped down the bench and started sweeping, "I was annoyed. He is so annoying. I hate sweeping. Did you see the state of my green room? I painted it that colour for Agnes. And he has ruined it in two minutes flat. He is not ruining your life too." Natalie was almost shouting. Her cheeks were flushed. "I REALLY HATE SWEEPING." Anna sat quietly, taking in every heartfelt word.

"People started to notice I was acting strangely. I would catch the bus and he would sit next to me, conspicuously trying to read an upside down newspaper in mid air. All the while grinning at me. He said he was just having a lark and I was one sooky sheila. He was just having a lark while I needed a restraining order from the sixth dimension, or a lobotomy. This went on for weeks. One day I cracked up in a University lecture hall with oooh you know, two hundred people watching. Leo was playing with the projector machine by turning it on and off and changing the angle of the long arm, so the Wilfred Owen poem _SPRING OFFENSIVE_ was projected onto the ample body of a very confused lecturer. I will never forget the lines wrapped around his fat academic paunch.

Of them who running on that last high place

Breasted even the rapture of bullets, or went up

On the hot blast and fury of hell's upsurge,

And there was Leo grinning at me madly like a cat that had cleverly brought a dead bird to the backdoor and was waiting for praise and a tidbit. He didn't see or get the lines or care about the poem or even get the irony. The idiot!! And I just snapped. I stood up and shouted at him. He looked crestfallen. Two hundred students looked surprised. Then I made my way from the back of the lecture hall to the front and attempted to punch him back to the underworld, whilst screaming for Aggie. Quite a spectacle."

Natalie turned around. There was nothing left in the kitchen to clean. It sparkled manically. She opened the fridge door and begun checking the use by dates on chutneys and curry pastes possibly from another century.

"Mum came and I don't remember much more than waking up in the psychiatric ward feeling embarrassed and crazy. Mostly crazy," Natalie stopped and studied a half full curry jar. "I don't remember ever making a vindaloo."

Then Aggie came. At first I was angry, 'I'm sorry I said, 'Do I know you?' She took my hand and was silent for a few minutes. I have a feeling she was watching the backdated episodes of 'Larks with Leo' in the very white fuzzy reception of my mind.

"Rightio," she said. "I see Leo has driven you potty. Leave it to me. And within a heartbeat she was back with her MOTHER, Mary Ellen, minus the black hat, revealing an identical dark grey Aggie style hair bun. Mary died when she was fifty-four years old and Agnes was ninety-three so they made an odd mother daughter combination. Not to mention their crazy fashion stakes. I reached over and pressed the nurse's bell. I was convinced I was heading for a straight jacket and a padded cell. Then Leo appeared. I have never seen anyone so angry as Mary Ellen. She was one pink-faced tiny lady phantom. Her pointer finger was jabbing the air and Leo put his hands up to pacify her. He looked so sad and young but weary. Agnes looked curiously remorseful. The nurse entered and I asked in my sanest voice, trying to block out the 'Survivor, Psycho Island Elimination Finale' that was going on by my bedside. I asked for some Valium and watched the final scenes in mute with my eyes drooping and my mouth dribbling. The nurse went to look at my chart and got saturated by a vase of flowers that Mary Ellen had accidentally knocked in her Irish fury—it startled the nurse. She took a long hard look at me and asked if I was all right. I nodded. I opened one eye and could see Leo looking miserably at me, hat in hand.

"I'm so sorry Miss Natalie; I never meant any harm by my skylarking about. I can't follow Aggie and Mary Ellen. I really want to. I'm so lonely. When I'm not here with you I'm back there and it's cold and I don't know the lingo. There are others like me but they are disappearing too. Only Aggie and you can see me— and she doesn't like me. I know why Ag. It's all right. I like you... now. I was so glad you could see me and hear me, Miss. I thought I would pass the time with you until you managed to muster up Les somehow. I thought I might as well enjoy myself, you know have a bit of a lark around... but I can see I did it again. I hurt another one of youse. I need to tell them I'm sorry too. Sorry for everything. I am sorry Miss." His voice cracked and I thought my heart would break. I could feel his pain spearing me through my fuzzy head. He vanished and I never heard from him again. Until now." Natalie hung her head down and stared sadly into her empty mug.

"I drifted off and awoke a second time. Mary Ellen and Aggie were leaning or floating over me now. Mary Ellen told me she had bound Leo. She couldn't control it if he appeared but she could control where he moved. He could appear from time to time but he would be grounded to a few metres from his 'original landing portal.' I thanked them and pressed the emergency button and started screaming. Nurses came running from every direction. No more stalker for Natsy and that was part two of the Leo and Nat show." Natalie burped.
CHAPTER SEVEN

Almost Live from the Green Room

Anna and Natalie stood trembling in front of the door—it felt like they were attempting to skydive without a parachute. Anna didn't like heights. Natalie refused to fly. She burped again.

"I think I am going to vomit," said Natalie without expression.

"Nerves or milky brandy?"

"Combination," she replied as she massaged her temples.

Anna was going to read the Riot Act to Leo. She was about to unleash her inner bulldog right off its chain. _I'm going to give this boy the lesson of his afterlife._

"Ready, one, two, three."

Anna opened the door to find Leo sitting at the table patting it lovingly as if it were part of a happy memory. He stood up, took his hat off and looked earnestly at the two of them. Anna felt her hot air balloon of rage pop.

Leo was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. A faded ninety six year old black and white photograph did not do his features justice. He looked almost alive. Almost. He was like an angel. _I am falling unconditionally and irrevocably in_ _love with him_. The line had popped into her head leftover from the days when Jacqui had been obsessed with _Twilight._ Reading the line out from the blurb had brought bile to her throat and she had promptly sent the article, 'Feminism fails in Fantasy,' in an email to Jacqui. She had made so much fun of it, falling on the ground with laughter when Jacqui dyed her hair a very Bella black. She spurned love at first sight but now the quote seemed apt. She would spike herself like Juliet and roam all eternity, hand in hand with this blindingly beautiful soldier. _No, not quite._ She shook her head in disgust at herself but could now understand her mother's desire for her wonder bra. _Perhaps Mum should have considered a tummy support garment? Who in the freak am I?_

And then he spoke.

"Hello Miss Natsy, how are you? I thought it was you. I recognized you by your smell. You always smelled good, like roses. But you have changed. You have cut your hair, you have gotten old and a bit fat." He looked sincerely into Nat's aging face.

"Thank you Leo, you sent me to a mental institution twenty five years ago and now insult me to my face. Good to see you have worked hard on your personal development in Limbo. It is lovely to see you too. You stink of cigarettes as usual and still have that pimple about to pop on your chin. Shaving yet?" Mum was going to be okay. She smiled and then started laughing. Her eyes met Anna's. She was getting flirty with this whippersnapper Adonis. "And that's Mrs. Grey to you!"

"Crikey, you sure have changed. You used to be a timid little mouse and now you're giving me a mouthful of cheek. I like tubby Natsy," laughed Leo.

"Well she thinks you are a pain in the arse. It took me six months to finish off this room and you have trashed it. Explain yourself soldier." Natalie puffed up her chest like a cockatoo, hands on her hips and started strutting around. _Too far Mother_ cringed Anna.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend. She is more powerful than Aggie. She ripped me out of my world and sucked me here to this room. Fair dinkum."

"Anna is my sixteen year old daughter you lout. I believe you met my husband last night. We are not tolerating any more of your 'larks'. Change your ways, Sonny Jim."

Anna looked at her and mouthed, "Sonny Jim?" She shook her head.

"Anna is a formidable channeller," he said admiringly.

"No I am not. We were asking for Les, you know LES—your favourite LES. If only I could find LES everything will be all right LES, yes that LES!"

Leo looked astonished then mortified. Then peeved.

"You weren't looking at Les, you were looking at me. You weren't thinking about Les. You were thinking about me," Leo smiled slowly and winked.

"I was not! You showed up in a nicotine fog and started throwing the furniture around like a supernatural toddler."

"Doesn't matter what Girlie Boy and Legs Eleven were thinking or saying, they don't have the gift. It was you. You were thinking of me," Leo smiled coyly.

Anna felt flushed. She wasn't sure if her heart was aching with the supernatural strain of his handsome face in close proximity to hers or his astonishing lack of manners. _Pig!_ _How dare he judge Dylan's self-expression through fashion and objectify Jacqui into a pair of legs._

The truth was her concentration did wander over to his classically chiselled jaw last night. She felt drawn to him and now she had released the rascal back into society. _Good one Anna_ , she thought rebukingly.

"That's a load of old cobblers, Leo. You have been hanging onto the coat tails of this family for nearly a hundred years. You are a bloody time space loiterer," barked Natalie.

Both Leo and Anna looked at her blankly.

"I have done some reading Anna, you are not the only one who can use the Internet."

Leo looked confused, "You speaking in tongues?"

Natalie continued, "Some ghosts sit on the edge all the time. They hang around the veil that separates the living and the dead and hitchhike a ride into town at any chance. And you're one of those!" She pointed a finger at him.

"You looked like Mary Ellen just then," he laughed. Natalie's cocky posture slumped slightly.

"You have raised a good looking girl, just like Mary Ellen did."

"I told you Aggie was pretty once."

"Aggie?" Leo looked confused and then was silent. Anna was confused and silent. No boy had ever called her good looking before, dead or alive.

"So why the rampage, soldier?" Natalie resumed swaggering around like a Sergeant Major. All she needed was a crop and a whistle. Her mother was starting to enjoy herself, she picked up the frame of the stomped in Mary Ellen face. "Exhibit A—Mrs. Mary Ellen McNamara, appears to be jumped up and down on by a naughty little schoolboy."

"She forced me back to the box and when I do get a day pass, like now, I can't move far. I can't go past that door. I'm hobbled."

"No, you're not hobbled. Les was hobbled," the words flew out like an involuntary sneeze from Anna's mouth.

Leo sat back down.

"You are right Miss, you are right." He looked sorrowful and pensive and started to fade.

"I'm sorry about your room Natsy, I mean, Mrs. Grey. It's a fine room. You mustn't be short of a quid. Not like the McNamaras or me and Ma. When I entered the room, the feeling was high. I was expecting you. I thought you must have found Les and were calling for me. I had been waiting for you to change your mind. I know you are kind. I knew you would help me. I popped into this fancy strange place with these funny looking people, all calling for Les but he was nowhere to be seen and you were nowhere to be seen. I lost my rag. Then I saw the wall and I recognised some of the photographs. I knew I was close. I don't wanna go back into the box. Bloody Mrs. McNamara, the old bag. She never liked me. She always gave me grief."

"You probably deserved it," said Anna. _Shutup Anna_ her brain screamed. She had been firing off random canon balls for hours now.

"I did," he replied in a small voice.

There was a loud bang and a couple of choice expletives. Kevin was now inside the house and wandered around the kitchen in need of tea and sympathy... and a bandaid.

"I'm so tired," said Leo forlornly.

"You're tired?" Anna and Natalie exclaimed together.

"It's five am in the morning!! Please Leo, behave yourself, just lie low," begged Natalie with one ear tuned into the noise in the kitchen.

Leo took her hand, "I'm well over one hundred years old. The days are very long. Please help me. There are not many of us left. Please help me. I'm so lonely."

Natalie started backing out of the room, with her finger on her lips, "In here, Kev darl, just cleaning up the mess. Such a lot of glass!" She eyeballed Leo accusingly, "Let's put the kettle on," she shouted to Kevin and walked out the door but she turned around and came back.

"Leo, I did try and reach him, I really did. Nothing ever came of it. I really am sorry. You cross my mind everyday. Everyday Leo. I prayed that you had found peace." She turned and was gone.

Anna started collecting the large fragments of glass. Leo was no longer visible but she could still smell cigarette and something else unpleasant burning. She was not sure what it was.

"You stink," said Anna. She was going to cut her tongue out in a minute.

"Yep, I sure do, Miss Anna," replied Leo wanly. "I'm going now. Being here with you and the living is getting harder for me to do. But I will be back soon. You will wait for me? You will help me? You are so powerful."

"Yes, I will be here, but where are you going?" she replied flustered.

"Not really sure what it's called."

"Very helpful," muttered Anna. "I don't suppose you know the date and place of your death? I will need those facts for starters."

"Ummm... nope." _Of course not!_

"Well I will be cleaning and vacuuming in here all day, thanks to you." No, she was going to pull her tongue out with her bare hands and thrash it on the table.

"What's vacuuming," he sighed gently and was gone.

Anna kept picking up glass. She hadn't spent the whole night awake since the Jacqui Snake Tattoo incident. Her eyes felt itchy and she needed a shower. She continued to clean silently and systematically wanting space to think, think of what to do next. A slight ruckus was going on in the kitchen. She would leave Dad to Mum for now. Dad's mind was going to explode when he discovered his number one staunch family ally was an apprentice ghost whisperer.

Anna needed time to assess the situation. It was a lot to take in. She wanted to see Dylan and Jacqui this morning. She needed to make sure they were okay. What did she normally do when she was overwhelmed? _Blame Jacqui_. Her mind felt all fuzzy and her heart was racing.

Leo was the most annoying person she had ever met. Barring Dylan. He was also the most pitiful. Excluding Dylan. He had the most angelic face she had ever seen. Including Dylan. Not that she believed in angels or any celestial beings. They were probably another cultural construct. She was starting to feel like herself again. _What would Anna pre Leo do?_ She sat down on the chaise and tried to think a single sane thought. The epiphany came. She would write a list, jumping up she went to her room to turn on her laptop. She paused. Instead, she grabbed a pen and some paper, crisp solid paper and inhaled its sensible scent. She hurried back to the green room, settling down on the chaise. The concreteness of the pen poised in her hand contrasted to the surreal mess she found herself in. _A list, what a good idea,_ Anna congratulated herself on keeping a level head, imagining the Dylan and Jacqui show in high fidelity hysterics.

"Now, what to write on the list?" She yawned and lay back on the chaise. 'Getting rid of Leo' sprung to mind. But that seemed mean after all his sorrowful banter and soulful looks. She crossed that out and wrote underneath, 'Helping Leo with his Inability to Cross Over.' She reread it. It was the most ridiculous thing she had ever written. Next, she would be writing odes to angels, or penning ballads to unicorns. She shook her head. Ghosts were real and her cleverly ordered world was turning on her short curly head.

She fell asleep, clutching her pen and dreaming of phantom soldiers with feathery white wings. Voices rose and fell in gentle harmony singing _Danny Boy_. Leo was playing the harp, grinning and swaying like a rock star and plucking out a pop tune. His lips were puckered into a mock kiss and his eyebrows wriggled suggestively.

Anna woke up with a start. She looked around the room and saw it had been restored as she had snoozed. How had she slept through their bespoke vacuum cleaner roaring like a hovercraft? Kevin liked to fix stuff with old white good parts. She had slept through it and sat up groggily craving normalcy. She should wander over to Dylan's and check on how they were faring. She worried for the pair of them—being normal was not Dylan or Jacqui's strong suit. She was still so tired, she could hardly move. _Get up Anna and get on_ _with it_ screamed her prim frontal lobes. _Stay on the couch_ whispered her pons.

She wandered around the house. Mum was sleeping on her bed while her Dad slept on the couch with _Twister_ on mute. Anna traipsed through the garden. Buns was snuggling with Chooky the chook. The weather was changing. She made her way down to the granny flat, knocked softly once and entered. Beth was sitting at her computer, wedged into her swivelling chair with pillows, trying to finish off an essay on Native Title. She didn't want to email it late—the Dean was already being very supportive of her.

"How did last night go, get a rise out of Heath?" She chuckled and resumed typing.

"How did you know?"

"Well, I came into the kitchen for some bread. And some butter. And some jam. Oh and some lettuce, God I crave lettuce—and pizza and a spoonful of peanut butter. But I only had one Tim Tam and don't let Mum tell you otherwise," Beth laughed.

"I put my ear to your beloved 'green room' and heard Jacqui divining for Heath. I felt sorry for the poor soul."

Anna sat down at the small table and rested her head on the cold laminated surface.

"Are you okay, you look kind of zonked," Beth said tenderly. She remembered how Anna had sat and patted her back when she had broken up with Blake, feeding her iron tablets and raspberry cordial and helping her through her severe morning sickness with her thoroughly researched homeopathic remedies. Anna had stood at the front door and refused Blake entry like a tiny sentry.

"Yes, I'm fine, just tired," Anna's lips began to tremble, "And freaked out of my freaking mind." She began to cry and her crying quickly reached sobbing frenzy as she lay down on Beth's bed and hid her face in Larry's belly. Thirty seconds later, she sat up gagging for breath. She spat out great tuffs of black hair. Larry kept on snoozing. He wasn't moving unless there was chicken fat in the offering. Lottie was folded into a beige crease in Beth's unmade bed. She was incognito.

Beth looked at her with disbelief. "Anna what's wrong? What's the matter?" She edged herself carefully out of the chair and waddled over to the bed and flopped down. "Okay, okay... I ate more than one Tim Tam," Beth laughed nervously. "What is up Anna? I have never seen you like this." She rubbed Anna's back and gave her a tissue to collect the residual shag stuck to her chin. Lottie came out of hiding and sniffed her anxiously with knowing concern.

"Something weird has happened, I don't know where to start. I don't know if you will believe me. I wouldn't believe me," Anna started her open mouth sob again.

"Deep breaths, honey, deep breaths. You can tell me anything. Is it going to upset Mum and Dad?" she whispered.

"It's going to break Dad's heart," she convulsed with tears.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Beth flung her arms around her and gripped her in a vigorous awkward embrace. The baby kicked between them in protest.

"No, no, no, I haven't ever—"

"Good girl honey, I'm so relieved, good girl, phew," Beth let out a deep sigh which ended in her releasing Anna and crossing her legs and eyes and fingers. "These practice contractions take my breath away. Please stop bouncing on my bladder, baby." She let out a very deep breath and panted through the next contraction. Larry put his head up in mild curiosity.

"Sorry about that, back to you. What has happened? Is it Jacqui?"

"No, why would it be Jacqui. She is my best friend," she said defensively.

"Yes, your best worst friend. It's pretty obvious you two don't have a huge amount in common at the moment. Even to a self obsessed pregnant girl who spends most of her time in this shed." She flapped her arms majestically in all directions. Kevin insisted the shed should be referred to as a granny flat or home office.

"It's not Jacqui." _Not this time anyway_ , she thought to herself.

"Don't be too hard on Jacqui, I think she has it pretty tough."

There was a gentle knock on the door. Kevin poked his head through the doorway. Natalie was behind him. They both had matching red-rimmed eyes. Natalie was still in her mauve dressing gown.

"How's our latest addition going, still enjoying it out here?" Kevin wrapped at the gyprock. "Made to last," he patted the wall lovingly. "It's not draughty in here, is it Bethy?" He said in concerned voice.

"No Dad, we are as snug as, you really know how to build stuff. It's as solid as your front verandah," she winked at Anna.

Kevin puffed up like a peacock while Natalie sat down at the desk.

"Just calling an impromptu family meeting," said Natalie.

Anna jumped up. "But Liam is not here. We can't have a family meeting without your only son," Anna started pulling at her short curls _. Dad is going to freak._ She always had a special bond with her Dad. It was about to be ruined because of the pulchritudinous poltergeist in the green room. She felt her hands shake and her lips were dry.

Kevin tried to move his mouth. The lump in his throat rose up and prevented speech. He shook his head noiselessly like a winded wombat. Now it was Beth's turn to panic. "Please tell me what is going on? Is someone sick? Is it Nanna? Did Liam crash the car again?"

He pulled Anna into a big bear hug. "Anna and your mother have a very special gift, they are... Communicators."

"Well they always manage to get their point across, particularly you Anna," said Beth.

Kevin shook his head and sat down on the bed and started adjusting Larry's collar.

Natalie pulled out a box of chocolates hidden in the folds of her dressing gown. Anxiously, she tore at the plastic covering and offered one to Beth.

"Yes, Anna is the most articulate sixteen year old I have ever met, and the most opinionated," Natalie smiled affectionately at Anna.

"What your father is trying to say is we can 'communicate' with the dead," she popped a caramel choccie into her mouth and looked pensively into Beth's face.

"By the way, Blake is sitting crossed legged on the bean bag out on the front verandah, sending you his Big Love vibes. Are you feeling them?"

Beth looked from her mother, to her sister and then to her father.

"Not really," she replied wide eyed.

"What do you mean has he crashed the car AGAIN?" Kevin snapped back to reality in a heartbeat.

Natalie hurriedly resumed talking. "I always thought that you would inherit the gift Beth, Anna is more like your father's family in temperament and in looks. That is why I didn't stop you having the séance. I thought it was just one of Jacqui's short-lived fancies. You know what she is like, one minute you are all rollerblading, the next you are writing protest blogs about mandatory school uniform. I thought it would fall flat and then you would watch a movie."

"I am finding this really hard to believe," faltered Beth. "I have never seen anything in the slightest supernatural or scary. Why would you think I have the 'gift'?"

"On the day I brought Anna home from the maternity hospital, you were nearly five. Agnes, my dead Aunt was waiting by the front door, 'Hello darlins,' she said. She peeked into the little bundle in my arms and gave you a kiss on the forehead."

_Yuck_ thought Anna remembering the beard.

"Then she patted Beth's long silky brown hair and touched you gently on the face. You said, 'Mum, an old lady butterfly landed on my cheek."

"Aggie turned and said, 'This one is special too.' I really thought she meant Beth. But she was obviously referring to Anna."

"I'm special too," said Beth, imitating Dylan's sulky voice.

"You know what I mean," laughed Natalie.
CHAPTER EIGHT

Warnsey and Portia

Deepak poured more ghol for Dylan. He was tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle and his knitted orange gloves on. He held the cup to his lips and paused, "I will never sleep again, never ever. I have seen the dark side of hell, 'Welcome to my nightmare, I think you are gonna like it." Dylan sang over and over in a warbly falsetto voice. "You can't imagine what I have been through, what I have seen tonight, such wanton destruction. And the smell, the smell dear brother was sickening." He let out a limp cough.

"Yes Dylan, war is pretty scary, but it was just a movie. Don't let yourself get carried away, remember to go to your happy place. Have you got your puffer?"

"Just a movie!" Dylan's eyes widen with incredulity. "Just a movie, brother it was real. He is real. Leo walks amongst us," he peered over Deepak's broad shoulder to see if the phantom soldier boy was looming by the door.

"Happy place, happy place, that's it _,"_ exhaled Dylan. He remembered the day when Jacqui and Anna had saved him from a marauding pack of Year Four boys. It was his number one happy memory. They were bouncing a football off his head and quizzing him on his knowledge of the current state of the AFL football ladder. He had no knowledge of ladders other than that they were handy contraptions for accessing things up high. Jacqui had swooped in, followed closely by Anna. Jacqui had snatched up the footy and handballed it into the ringleader's face. As blood spurted out of the bully's nose, Anna informed him that Australian Rules Football was 'culturally specific' to Australia and how could Dylan know about ladders and stuff when he had only arrived in Australia from India six weeks ago. She had added "Der brains,'' and poked her tongue out for good measure. "Wait until cricket season, he will whip your arse." The summer cricket season came and went, and saw him happily braiding Jacqui and Anna's hair in complicated patterns. Later, Anna apologised for culturally stereotyping and pigeon holing him because of his gender and country of origin.

He accepted graciously.

Dylan looked at Deepak's football guernsey stretched tautly across his six pack. _OMG, he even wears it to bed!_ And then there was that shrine to Warnsey in his bedroom—perhaps he should share a different happy memory.

"Happy place, happy place," chanted Dylan. "Remember last year when I was in _The Merchant of Venice_ play?"

Deepak sighed— _The Portia Story... Again._

"Remember when Dad refused to come to see my portrayal of Portia on opening night".

Deepak remembered. He had never seen his mother so angry. She was wearing her best fuchsia dhakai sari and had borrowed some of Dylan's favourite lipgloss. Dylan was dressed in a maroon crushed velvet Renaissance gown that he had designed himself. It was time to leave for the auditorium but Dad was still in his house track pant refusing to budge. Mum slammed down the tongs into the sink, turned off the rice cooker and threw the biryani into the bin.

"That is it," she cried, "no Kasha Murgir Mangsha (spicy fried chicken) for you this weekend—you can have boiled cabbage." It was legendary. Deepak smiled at the memory.

Grandfather had entered the room dressed in his crispy white Punjabi and dhoti with his polished scalp and sandals, looking like a dapper Ghandi. He turned around and walked back down the hall and into Mum and Dad's room. He flung open their wardrobe and grabbed the shirt Dylan had bought Dad for his birthday. It still had the labels on it. He grabbed Dad's 'going out' tracksuit pants—still in pristine condition and then hurtled down the hallway to throw the outfit onto the kitchen table.

"Arun, you are a very stubborn man. Get dressed immediately. If you turned off that blasted television and paid attention to this family and the outside world at large, you would know that male actors played ALL female roles in Shakespeare. You would also know that your son has worked exceedingly hard in the preparation for this important role—" Deepak joined in, "—in fact, Portia is one of the greatest voices the Bard put down on paper. GET DRESSED NOW, BOY!" They whisper shouted at each other giggling, reliving the memory.

Dad had pulled off his shirt and pulled down his track pants in a huff on the spot. He kicked them off like an angry preschooler under the unflattering light of the kitchen fluorescent bulb.

"Remember we received five encores and Mrs. Morris gave all the leads a single red rose and everyone in the auditorium stood up."

Deepak smiled. It was a happy memory. The kook had talent.

"Remember Dad stood up too and clapped hard."

"So hard his tummy wobbled," laughed Deepak.

"Remember out in the foyer, all the parents and teachers congratulated him on my success."

"Remember how Dad shook my hand and shook Dadu's hand and kissed Mum."

Deepak braced himself. The next part of the memory was not happy.

In the foyer, surrounded by his newly reconciled family, drinking a weak tea and enjoying a plain biscuit, Dadu had crumpled and folded with a massive stroke. Dylan was so distraught he attempted to climb into the back of the ambulance in his pantaloons and flat cap with plumage. It was his after party ensemble.

"Please stay with me, stay with me, you promise?" Dylan put down his mug and clasped Deepak's hands. "You won't leave me, will you?"

"No bro, I'm here, I will sleep on the floor mate, ok?" Deepak lay down on Dylan's shag pile rug. He grabbed a couple of silkscreened cushions and his mohair throw rug and bedded down.

"Go to sleep Dylan, you will feel better in the morning."

"I envy you, you will sleep like a baby tonight, whilst I will never sleep again," he yawned, while large overwrought tears dribbled down his face. He sighed deeply and promptly fell into a trouble free slumber.

Deepak stared at the ceiling listening to Dylan's gentle snoring. He didn't know how Anna put up with him. He liked Anna even if she was always so preoccupied. He thought about sneaking back to his warm bed but he had made a promise. So he pulled the mohair blanket up. Dylan was right, natural products were extra cosy and versatile. He shook his head and laughed into the darkness. They had always shared a room until recently. Their grandfather had occupied the front master bedroom with the ensuite. As the eldest son, he had been granted it when Dadu had gone into the nursing home. It was a relief to get away from Dylan, as much as he loved his kooky little bro, he was hard work.

Nina sat on the couch with Jacqui who was staring into space. Nina was staring into space too. She normally went to bed at nine o clock but it was now two am. She would be all crotchety tomorrow. She put her hand on Jacqui's arm and paused—Jacqui's _Jiboni shokti_ force was low. She would need to speak to Corinne in the morning. The girl was unhappy.

"Would you like me to call your Mum, Jacqui?" she asked softly. Jacqui shook her head vigorously.

"How is your Mum these days? I keep meaning to take her my paneer I know she loves it. I haven't seen her walking in the morning, is she ok?"

Jacqui hesitated, "Mum keeps seeing her dead cat... you know, since Dad left. And tonight—" She faltered, she was so tired. "Do you believe in ghosts Nina?" she asked as she searched the older woman's face.

"I have never seen one but I am sure my mother followed me back to Australia after her Shraddha in India. I could sense her... I could smell her."

"What did your mother smell like?" Jacqui crinkled her nose a little.

"Like frangipani and cinnamon," Nina smiled into space.

"How lovely," she squeezed Nina's hand.

"She was a great woman and I miss her terribly. I had been back in Australia for a month. It was a Saturday morning and Dylan had me sewing his maroon costume. I was totally consumed by the corsetry—so delicate and finicky, all that gold braiding zig zag. That boy has such grand ideas but has no idea regarding the execution of them." Nina took a deep breath.

"It was the first morning I hadn't cried for her. I inhaled the wonderful scent of frangipani from her garden and cinnamon from her kitchen. The smell used to seep into her apron. As I was sitting there it became quite strong and intense and then it was gone. I couldn't smell it any more. Sunlight filled the room. I stopped sewing and cried out, 'Goodbye Mummy.' I haven't felt her since. Maybe she knew I was starting to feel stronger," she took another deep breath.

"Being Dylan's mother can get very preoccupying," Nina chuckled.

"When did the cat first appear to Corinne?"

"After Dad left."

"Do you think the ghost cat is real... so to speak or is your Mum seeing things... what is your heart telling you?"

"I don't know what to think. I thought she might be going crazy but now I'm not so sure."

Nina patted her arm. She lit the candles in front of her Laxmi wooden temple that sat on the hallway table. Soon, soothing wafts of sandalwood scented smoke twirled up into the air.

"Breathe girl, breathe."

Nina broke into a low mantra.

"Asato ma sat gamaya ( _journey from untruth to truth_ ) Tamaso ma jotirgamay ( _journey from darkness to light_ ) Mritunma Amirtian gamaya ( _journey from death to eternity_ ) Om Shanti, Om Shanti, Om shanti."

Jacqui laid her head on Nina's shoulder as she continued to gently chant. Jacqui closed her eyes and thought of their tiny terraced house. It was now empty and cold. She was alone. Her mind flew back to the hastily handwritten note on the table.

Dearest Jacqui,

I am off back to South Africa. I can't keep painting roses. I must return to where I belong, if only for a few weeks. I have sold all of the rose collection and I have transferred a squillion dollars into your account. Well not a squillion sweetie, but you will be fine for ages. By then I will be back all refreshed and regenerated. I am sure I will be inspired to create a new exhibition and a new life. This life at the moment doesn't fit very well. Sorry the house is like a bombsite. I ran around like a mad woman looking for my passport. Must dash now. Please tell Nina and Nat I'm off for a holiday and they will keep an eye out for you. You practically live at their houses anyway. I miss you already.

Love and Kisses for my little lemur

Mum xxxx

P.S Best of luck in your exams. They start tomorrow right? Xxxx

That was five weeks ago, she had tracked Corinne through her credit card purchases and her Artist's website updates. She had received one euphoric phone call from Botswana. Corinne had raved manically on about a rare white rhino she was painting and a man named Tim. Jacqui was beginning to feel that she was the imaginary ghost cat. She wasn't sure if she was real anymore, digging her fingernails into her leg.

"Mum has left me," sobbed Jacqui. "She has gone back to South Africa without me." She broke away from Nina and buried her face into a cushion. Nina rubbed her back in firm circles and whispered, "I am so sorry, so sorry."

"Please don't tell Anna or Dylan... not yet. Anna gets so—"

"Sshh my dear girl, you have good friends," Nina whispered soothingly.
CHAPTER NINE

Fuzzy Pixels

Natalie and Anna pulled up in Dylan's driveway to find Nina outside deadheading the roses. She waved at them and smiled, "Come in, come in I have just made a fresh batch of Macher Chop." Natalie pinched her tummy fat as she undid her seat belt, "Nina's fish croquettes are to die for. There is always tomorrow to start a diet."

Nina embraced her and nodded in the direction of Dylan's bedroom and Anna walked through the house. It was impeccably tidy and the crock-pot steamed the most delicious scent into the air. She inhaled deeply as she knocked on Dylan's door. Although it was five pm on Sunday afternoon, Anna felt like ninety-six years had passed.

Dylan was still sleeping, his snores whistled like the gentle whinnying of a pony with allergies. Anna sat on his bed.

"Deepak? Is that you? Are you still with me brother?" his flaying hands grabbed at Anna's scarf like a long fingered zombie.

"Get off me," she snapped.

Deepak popped his head through the doorway, "Yes I'm still here." He turned to Anna and said, "He had a difficult night." He raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes gently toward the ceiling. Anna smiled back.

"I like your hair, have you cut it?" This was the second compliment in twenty-four hours, one from a dead guy and one from an alive guy. Anna ran her hand over her few remaining waves. Dylan had insisted on a very short pixie haircut to tame her mousy curls. She blushed. "Thank you, it was Dylan's idea."

"Yes I agree, peeps," came a voice from under the grey mohair rug. Jacqui sat up and stretched and yawned. Yards of gingery golden locks cascaded over the mohair blanket. Anna was reminded of a painting she had recently studied in art class, _The Birth of Venus._ Jacqui emerged like a goddess from under the rug and stretched like a cat in slow motion. It was mesmerizing. Anna, Dylan and Deepak watched entranced. The dappled afternoon light caught honey coloured strands and made them shine like spun gold leaving Anna dizzy with envy.

"You look as cute as a button—getting rid of the frizz was a stroke of genius Dylan. You are adorable Annakins," Jacqui enthused.

"How long have you been in my boudoir doll face?" asked Dylan.

"I was not very comfy on the couch so I slipped in here when Deepak left for work at six am. And then I just sank into your rug and went off to the land of nod. I slept like an angel." She yawned delicately.

"Deepak, would you be a doll and leave us alone for a mo, we have some secret ladies' business to attend to." Dylan sat up in bed and took off his orange gloves briskly like he was dismissing the hired help. He stopped mid finger and added,

"Thanks Deeps, for last night. You're a peach."

"You need a good punch in the head mate," replied Deepak.

Deepak was very glad to be relieved of his duties. He smiled warmly at Anna as he shut the door behind him.

Jacqui and Dylan sat on the bed crossed legged. They looked towards Anna as if they were waiting for the secrets of the Universe to spring from her lips.

"Well?" said Dylan. "What happened? Did Mary Ellen fly in on a broomstick with a bag full of children's finger bones, cackling loudly? I can't imagine what happened next." Dylan placed his hand on his chin transfixed.

"He is hobbled, by Mary Ellen," she replied like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Hobbled by the Black Hat," said Dylan shocked, "did she take a shovel to his kneecaps or bolt cutters to his toes?" Dylan leaned forward for the gory details.

"No, of course not. He was apperating and disapperating like a deranged Jack in the Box, hounding Mum to find Les for him. She was eighteen, it kinda got her down." She fiddled with the buttons on her cardigan as she gave a very attenuated summary of Natalie's experience.

"So Mary Ellen insisted he stay put for his next visit, which was last night. I am very pleased she did, he can't go past the door." The thought of him popping up in her bedroom made her break into a cold sweat and a hot flush simultaneously.

"How did she do that? Maybe she really is a witch?" asked Dylan.

"Don't be bloody stupid," snapped Anna.

"He followed Mum for weeks, it appears he is a lost soul. We had a bit of a chat. He saw Mary Ellen's image leering out at him and went berko. He really is very sorry about the mess."

"Did you see him, what does he look like?" asked Jacqui breathlessly.

"You know what he looks like, you saw the photograph," answered Anna tersely. _Nosy Legs Eleven is getting on my nerves._

"Yes, yes I know what he looks like. I mean was he solid or misty or floaty?"

"He looks normal to me... almost real, like you could reach out and touch him. When he gets tired and he starts to fade then he looks like fuzzy pixels. I think it takes a lot of energy to keep up a human appearance. He touched Mum's hand and she told me later that it felt like steam from a hot bath. Quite pleasant really."

"Could you put your hand through him? Did you get your chest pains? Most importantly does he know Heath? Are they chums?" probed Jacqui anxiously.

"Oh yes and Elvis too," sighed Anna.

"Really!" said Jacqui enthralled.

"NO," snapped Anna.

"He is stuck 'somewhere' and he doesn't know the 'lingo,'" said Anna. "He said something about a box. I'm not sure," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Does he know Siegfried Sassoon or Wilfred Owen, I am finding their war poetry a bit dreary and depressing. It's a waste of my time. I much prefer William's work. Do you think he could get me some personal insight into their minds as I really need to lift my Lit grade from a B to an A without lifting my effort?" prattled Dylan.

"You know you are also obsessed with Mr. Hathaway?" prodded Jacqui.

"Tis true, I am a disciple of Mr. SHAKESPEARE."

"What part of stuck on Earth in a box didn't you get?" shouted Anna.

Dylan pouted. He stuck his bottom lip out theatrically.

"He is actually tactless and annoying, a bit like you. Except if you and Leo were in the same class in school, he would probably make your life hell. I have a feeling he was one of the lads."

"Uh huh," said Dylan, "oh well, I shall miss our beloved green room. And then there is our eclectically furnished verandah—the scene of so many of our superior discussions. No more can I enter your abode whilst that narrow minded ugly digger digs in."

"Oh," said Anna a little too quickly, "he is not ugly".

Dylan cocked an eyebrow, "Not ugly, then pray tell what is he?"

Anna blushed, "Average, tall you know. Just medium. And tall, he has a pimple. You know, just average." Anna shrugged her shoulders in an overly nonchalant manner.

"I thought you would be raving on about the invasion of your spiritual squatter in your house. I thought you would have been 'sickened' by your invited uninvited guest. I was expecting you to be all outraged, you know, like usual. You get this piqued pulsating vein here." Dylan motioned to her temple.

"I know about the vein, thanks Dylan."

Dylan's eyes narrowed as he inquired "Are you wearing that stylish cardigan I gave you instead of your usual micro fleece zip up. I detest zip ups. They are so sloppy and unattractive. Why not wear your pyjamas about town. Hmmm... Are you or are you not wearing the tiniest hint of mascara?" he toyed with her. Anna blinked innocently back.

"What do we make of this Jacs?" said Dylan. He stood up and strutted around in his striped silken pyjamas. "Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" He sighed and fanned his face with his silken hanky like a shy geisha girl.

"I already told you he is an obnoxious narrow minded pig, how could you even think such a thing. You've got sex on the brain Dylan. You sicken me. He is a wandering soul who needs my help. And to think I was going to ask you and Legs... I mean Jacqui for help. You haven't even got the guts to come back to my house. Leo may be irritating but at least he has balls."

"Love me or hate me, both are in my favour... If you love me, I'll always be in your heart... if you hate me, I'll always be in your mind," taunted Dylan as he pranced around the room like an elastic ballerina propelled from marionette strings. He stopped and felt his crutch, "I have balls, one and... OMG I can't find the other one... help me!" he shrieked as he squeezed a handful of stripey silk vigorously. "Alas my nut is presently anon... ahh there he is... good to have you back my dear bawcock."

"You are beyond gross... and the whole Shakespeare scene is getting a little precious Dylan. And boring," she added for good measure.

Dylan's face crumpled, "I was only suggesting you looked pretty and was teasing you as to why. No fear, it was a passing fancy. Your pulsey vein is twitching again, not pretty at all." He flung down his silky scarf in protest and patted both bawcocks.

"I don't need your help. I am perfectly capable of doing this by myself. I just thought it would be more—" she searched for the right word.

"Fun?" offered Jacqui.

"No, more efficient," countered Anna whilst thinking 'fun.'" _Who am I? What is happening to me?_

"Come on peeps, don't you see what we have here," trilled Jacqui.

Anna and Dylan stared at her vacantly.

"We have a mystery to solve ladies. This poor soul needs our help to catapult him to the Other Side. We could be like Mystery Inc. We have Scooby Doo and Scrappy Doo. Anna is Thelma and I can be Daphne and Dylan, can be Dylan." She clapped her hands together in delight.

"We are dealing with a man's soul," cried Anna.

"You didn't believe in them yesterday morning, the spirit is hokum pokum you said to Miss Scott last month. The devil is man made you told your mother last night. But I do believe in something out there. I always have," finished Jacqui gently.

Anna fell silent and sat down on the rug. "Is that what you think of me, I'm some sort of self righteous bore, the 'fact' Nazi?"

"No of course not Annakins," said Jacqui soothingly. "I just want you to know that I take this very seriously and I always have."

"You are a bit of a-know-it-all Anna," added Dylan. Jacqui glared at Dylan, her green eyes flickered like a feral cat's.

"Dylan and I really want to help you and we promise not to be scared and silly any more. You just tell us what you want us to do!" Anna was shocked. Normally, she waited on Jacqui's instruction and then grumbled at the outcome.

"Yeah... I'd do anything for a Scooby snack," Dylan said, rubbing his head on Anna's arm like Larry did.

Anna smiled and Jacqui tittered. "I rove you Ranna—Scooby Dooby Doo," barked Dylan. The three of them found themselves rolling around on the floor laughing as Anna replied, "Jinkies, Scoob I love you too. Remember how much we loved those cartoons."

Jacqui sat up and wiped away the tears, "It feels lovely to laugh again. We used to do it all the time." A subdued silence fell and Dylan quickly started to make his bed, fluffing his woolly throw rug violently. "I must have been scared out of my wits to let Deepak roll around on the floor covered in my treasured fluffy blanky." He picked off short black hairs and long blonde hairs in disgust.

He stopped folding the blanket and turned to the girls, "I really was scared out of my mind last night. I am still feeling frightened. How about you two?"

"I was really freaked out too, when I felt those fingers poke at me and my dress started twitching, I thought I would die of fright!"

"Oh that, I forgot to tell you, he is a bit of a larrikin, he is eighteen. And he lived in a world before women's rights. His approach to life is very dated. Apparently the world has changed," she sighed.

"Well of course it has, he has been dead for over ninety five years... and please don't do 'the powers that be thing' right now, I'm feeling quite precious at the mo," said Dylan.

"You don't seem very scared Anna," said Jacqui.

"No, I am not scared but I am truly blown away, overwhelmed by the way this changes—" she paused. She couldn't think of the words to express the tsunami of spirit washing over her. She was barely keeping her head above water.

"Changes everything you ever thought to be true," offered Jacqui.

"Yes, I am going to have to reassess my whole approach to, well, everything and that is scary to me. Things used to be black or white. Very simple."

"And now, Miss Grey, all you can see is velvety shades of grey. Your approach to the Universe is expanding," Dylan added in his radio jock voice.

Jacqui bent over and touched her toes lazily.

"Does Leo have that old world charm that so many boys lack these days?" She yawned out.

"Well he does call me Miss, which is strange and he ended up referring to Mum as Mrs Grey by the end of our talk. But no, generally he is rude and thoughtless." Anna paused, "By the end, he seemed sad... almost worn out and melancholy. He faded away to the smell of burning embers. I felt so tired afterward." Her voice faded too.

"We must help Anna help Leo, we must Dylan," announced Jacqui as she stood up on Dylan's bed and pointed to the ceiling.

"What madness is this? Get off... you are making crinkles. Get off!"

Jacqui ignored him as she saluted, "Right, what is our plan of attack, Captain Anna?"

"I'm in the process of writing a list." Anna searched frantically through her handbag.

"Of course you are. Do hope it includes a visit from a priest or a purohit for the bhut," demanded Dylan, scowling as he pushed Jacqui off his bed and remade it.

"The WHAT?" said Jacqui.

"The bhut, that's what we Hindus call ghosts."

"Since when did you start calling yourself a Hindu," mocked Jacqui.

"Since one am this morning. A nasty fright brings you closer to the light."

Anna shook her head and laughed.

"Oh don't you laugh at me Missy, I have to sit through Religious Education with you two and try and keep a straight face! Where was I? Mantras are very powerful," Dylan continued on, "only problem is you have to say them continuously, like thousands of times. Mantras are like an extremely long tongue twister. You practically bore the ghost away."

He sat crossed legged with his middle fingers pressing on his thumbs.

"Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram, Ram."

"Who is this Ram?"

"Just the incarnation of Vishnu, the big gun you want on your team."

"Perhaps I could read Leo one of my many helpful emails, starting with misogyny in music and concluding with the evils of the demon drink," Anna said with a wry smile.

"I do believe Anna has cracked a self deprecating joke, Jacs! What a good idea, I know they bore me to death. Perhaps it will work in reverse?"

Anna reddened and then gained composure.

"We don't want to send him back to where he came from just because he is popping into my dining room. Those things are no good for now. He needs to be released. Not pushed to the side again. He is stuck. Why is it that Les is supposedly lolling about in heaven but Leo is yo-yoing around? What is the difference? There seems to be lots of different ways of dying and moving on. It can happen immediately and sometimes, for whatever reason, it doesn't happen at all. We need to get to the bottom of it."

"So what you are saying? Even death happens in shades of grey, why Annakins, this is out first breakthrough."

"What do you mean?"

"Leo must have had an appalling death."

"That's not a breakthrough, that's a given as a soldier."

"A young underage soldier with the maturity of Dylan, it probably took him awhile to work out he was dead."

"Where are you getting all this from?"

Jacqui had slipped out her smart phone and was surfing the Internet.

"I started googling last night, I got a cramp in my leg and it woke me right up. I found this site that is called 'For Whom the Bells Toll and the Toll it takes on the Average Soul.' It's a site about why some of us get left behind. You know, appalling death or appalling guilt, a thwarted life mission, an unfulfilled passion yada yada yada. Some souls are just plain naughty and want to stay on, wreaking havoc on their enemies or indeed, family. It is all pretty standard Ghost Whisperer stuff." She continued to scroll through the site.

"Leo did a sweet job of trashing your room. Maybe he is a naughty fellow, having the joy ride of his afterlife. The poo fling thing is hilarious in retrospect but it wasn't at the time." Dylan shivered at the memory.

"How is dear Kevin doing this morning?"

"Tired and freaked out and in need of a Scooby Snack," Anna smiled.

"I really don't think he is a delinquent. He seemed so sad and pensive. He is desperately unhappy."

"I had better go back home, I promised Leo I would hang around the front room and talk some more with him." Dylan watched as a self conscious pink flush crept up Anna's neck.

"Woo, hoo, better get home for LEOOOO, wouldn't want to upset our ghostly LUVVERR." Dylan pranced around with his hands on his heart.

"Shut up Dylan, if you are going to be an immature loser then don't bother helping," said Anna.

Jacqui threw a cushion at Dylan's head.

"Okay, okay, I'm sure the role of Cold Case Spectre Detective will be my finest so far. I think I will tone it down and wear a crisp white shirt and take some of my bangles off. I don't think bling bling is the right for a cop. They are pinching me anyway. I can't sneak around if I am jingling. My first job is going to be sneaking Deepak's Aviator's out of his car, all the American cops wear Aviators... Oh this is going to be fun after all," he trilled.

"Well peeps, let's get ourselves some Maccas and head over to Anna and Leo's for a little soiree. First let me pick up my proper camera and tripod. I would so love to have a ghost in my pics collection."

Anna stopped still. "You are not filming Leo. He is a tortured soul and not some teacher in a swoon. You are not u tubing, snapchatting, instantgramming, twittering or 'sharing' this on Face Book. This is private. Beth already thinks I am a fruit loop. I am not having the whole school know about this. This is a man's soul. Honestly Jacqui!"

Jacqui stood chastened, "I thought it might help in our investigation. There are many different ways of capturing a spectre with the right light and I found this wonderful—"

"WE ARE RELEASING THIS ONE, NOT CAPTURING IT," exclaimed Anna.
CHAPTER TEN

Butterflies, Bullets and Brown St

"Look at me, I'm shaking like a jellyfish going cold turkey." Jacqui put forward an unsteady hand and watched her small freckles wobble.

"What would a jellyfish be addicted to?" pondered Anna.

"Separation from the other jellyfish? Maybe they are co-dependent... and I'm feeling all quivery and queer too, if any one is interested."

"As if... shut up Dylan," snarled Jacqui.

Anna shook her head. She wasn't feeling scared. She was secretly looking forward to seeing Leo's beautiful face and his twinkly blue eyes.

Anna hesitated as she turned the door handle, she knew that it was selfish but she didn't want to share Leo yet. Everyone always liked Jacqui the best she didn't see why a dead guy would be any different. She had popped her head into the green room on her way to Dylan's earlier that afternoon and had already felt Leo wasn't back from wherever it was he had to return to. Her heart raced but it wasn't from the psychic pull. It was from sheer excitement.

Right now, her chest was burning. _Get a grip_ she thought as she said, "He is here," pushing open the door.

Jacqui gave her hand a squeeze and threatened Dylan with narrowing eyes.

The room was quiet and warm. The curtains had been opened and the last watery sunlight rays filled the air and caught the dancing dust. Anna felt like she was cast back in time.

Leo was standing in front of the photograph memory wall. He was staring intently at a formal group portrait. It was the McNamara family. Les stood on one side and brother, Dan stood on the other, and in between them stood their sisters Veronica, Agnes and little Charlotte in plaits. He was lost in memory.

"Veronica was the salt of the earth, Aggie was a pain in the arse and Charlotte the kid, fancied she could sing. She was always trilling and squeaking out a ditty, got on the nerves a bit."

"Really? Charlotte was my Great Nanna, she was always belting out a tune... where is Daisy, the third sister?"

"Dunno." He turned abruptly and faced Anna. "There were other sons as well but they were much older with their own families. Les was back from the war and Mary Ellen was celebrating his safe return with a family photo... I was there you know, that day, well in spirit." He grinned at his clever remark but his smile faded, "Mary Ellen saw me... and was obviously 'displeased,' " he mimiced Mary's Irish lilt. "She told me to move on and to leave well alone. Hadn't I done enough damage to her family?" He touched the frame and became silent.

"Is that why she has such a happy look on her face, looks like she has smelled poo... or you." Anna tried to keep him talking but she felt as if he were drifting back to a place and time she could not follow.

"Yes, her eyes flickered in recognition and then hardened when she saw me. I was overjoyed to make contact. I had been out of my mind with confusion and anger. If you look closely at this one you can see Agnes has been weeping. She saw me too." Another long silence followed as Anna examined Agnes, she had never noticed the sadness that seemed to radiate out of her and now felt a pang of sorrow for Agnes.

"She tried to ignore me, it was hard for her at first. She seemed to want to talk but her mother had forbidden it and I was so lonely and afraid. I really couldn't understand what had happened to me."

"You died Leopold."

"Yes, you smart Alec, I know that now."

"It is highly likely you experienced a very violent and sudden death and your unresolved issues precluded you from entering into a new dimension of being," offered Jacqui, nervously picking up the thread of the conversation.

"What the hell is she talking about?"

"Is it possible you have stuff you needed to take care of? Things that you never got the chance to work out before you carked it," offered Anna.

"Yes, it is." He hesitated, "I followed Les home from France." Leo paused.

"Your mother is right, I have been hanging on to the McNamara's coat tails for well over one hundred years now. When Les was injured I followed him from hospital to hospital. I couldn't stay with him all the time. He was so injured and ill. It was his legs, his legs." Leo faltered, "It felt like forever. I was weak too." He smiled as he remembered his freshly dead self. "I was such an amateur. And Les, he just wasn't getting better. Infection was rife," he dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper, "when he finally was discharged they gave him a set of crutches and sent him home in a truck like an animal left over from market. He had to be helped down and... slowly Les hobbled down Brown Street. Terrible, bloody terrible." Leo's eyes glistened and he pulled frantically at his hat. Anna could sense him fading, the thought was too painful for him.

Anna studied the photo intently, trying to find something light hearted to say, "Apparently Aggie grew a beard in her final years, if that makes you feel any better."

Leo smiled weakly, "I know and being toothless never suits a lady."

Dylan and Jacqui stood glued to the spot. They both felt slightly ridiculous not knowing where to look. "Are we all on the edge of some wild group hallucination?" remarked Dylan, "we didn't even get to enjoy the drugs. Pity!"

Since they had entered the room, Anna had not stopped gazing rapturously at Leo. Dylan stared at Anna. "You are beautiful," gasped Dylan. "Even without my masterful eyeliner technique—"

Leo looked up and smiled at her. "Tell your funny looking friend with the black glasses on, he is right. I wouldn't have thought he cared for a good-looking-lass. What is wrong with his eyes? I don't recall him having those blind man glasses on last night."

Anna was stunned, "No, he is in character, Dylan is a thespian."

"Is that what you call it nowadays," sniggered Leo.

"He is an actor," replied Anna angrily. Dylan went to open his mouth.

"And you can shut up Dylan," she added. _What is wrong with him?_ Dylan was usually too entranced by his own beauty to notice any one else.

Jacqui coughed and said sweetly, "Annakins, would you mind introducing us to your new friend."

"Or at the very least, point us in the right direction," wheezed Dylan. "This is terribly awkward and it is making me a titch anxious." He touched his puffer in his pocket compulsively. Leo put his hand on his hip and started waggling his bottom in a very rude imitation of Dylan.

"I am sorry," giggled Anna.

Anna tried to get back in control of her schoolgirl self. _Who am I?_ Anna wondered again, she detested feeling like this.

"I am so sorry, this is Jacqui Van Eeden, my very good friend and this is Dylan, formerly known as Deepayan Roychowdhury."

"Crikey, that's a mouth full."

"But he shortens it to Ray, Dylan Ray.

"Aren't I one of your very good friends as well?" asked Dylan.

"Of course Dylan and here is Dylan, he is somebody I tolerate," she smiled viciously.

"Very pleased to meet you sir," said Jacqui. She flicked her hair nervously off her face and it scattered golden sunbeams in the dying sunlight. _Not again with the mane_ churned Anna.

"Your friend Jacqui is a real looker, isn't she, but she isn't a patch on my girl." Leo paused, "Or you."

"Your girl?"

Leo shrugged.

Anna was flummoxed, another compliment in twenty-four hours. This one felt particularly sincere.

"Leo says you are very pretty Jacqui." Jacqui giggled and said that Leo cut a fine figure in his photo and perhaps she could take a photo of him soon once she worked out how to and if Anna agreed.

"What about me?" demanded Dylan.

"He thinks you're very pretty too."

"I DO NOT. I am not one of those. I met one in France, he wrote poems. They were meant to be pretty good. He was a Pommy fellow, a Tommy, a nice enough chap... he was an officer. Les said he would read one of them to me when we got back home." Leo stopped and was silent.

Anna was concerned that thoughts of Les' injuries would weaken and demoralize him again and so she pressed on.

"Why would Les need to read it to you?" she teased brightly.

Leo looked mortified. He put his finger on his lips and nodded his head in Dylan and Jacqui's direction.

"I can't read," he mumbled.

Anna's face fell, "I am so sorry, I didn't realise." The image of Leo playing with the University projector flashed through her mind. _He didn't read._ He would have thought he was just having a lark and flipping the bird to the teacher as he made the words, meaningless to him, jiggle on the Professor's fat belly.

"I'm not stupid or anything, it's just that I didn't get to school much. I was helping Ma and working, well... I can sign my name and I know quite a few words."

"You didn't realise what? What is it that you didn't realise? What is he saying or should we just leave you two lovebirds alone. I am feeling particularly excluded. Plus I am feeling racially persecuted, did I hear sniggering at my name?"

"Oh Dylan, please shut up," said Jacqui.

"Right, Leo you are a very lucky fellow because you have two of the finest brains plus Dylan at your disposal." Anna took out her list.

"I have an IQ of one hundred and forty seven," sulked Dylan.

"Try using it for a change," she sniped back and then hesitated. The compliments had unsettled her. Jacqui felt Anna falter and quickly said, "I've had another sparkly gem of an idea. Perhaps you can ask the questions and relay the answers to Dylan, who can type in Leo's responses. I will keep abreast of historical facts and unusual language and that sort of thing." Jacqui placed her trembling dainty hands at the ready on her tablet, looking up at Anna with sincere enthusiasm.

"Right, good idea," said Anna biting down nervously on her pencil as she pulled out her notepad. An awkward silence scuttled into the room and Jacqui filled the void by sitting down and saying, "Please do take a seat Mr Leo," in her charming airhostess voice, pointing to a chair near her. Leo put his hat on the table and motioned Anna to come closer. _Not too close,_ she prayed _. My heart is about to cascade out of my chest as petals, butterflies and red M &M's_

Leo dragged his attention from Dylan's black fingernails to Jacqui. "Nice looking lass, highly strung but kind. And there is something else." As Leo stared at her, he realized what it was... it was sadness.

"There is nothing else!" barked Anna.

"Well anyways, please convey my humblest apologies to Miss Van Eeden. She appears to be a lovely girl. I am so sorry I poked her in the ribs and touched her skirts. She was standing there like she was the Queen of Sheba with her head up her arse and I was so angry. I get angry. I was wishing she was someone else."

"Leo says he is sorry he poked at you but you seemed rather aloof and distracted and he was just trying to make contact with the real world, he was desperate for attention," lied Anna.

"Think nothing of it, my good sir," replied Jacqui and she curtsied. Anna felt the bulldog tugging and groaning inwardly.

"So what's happening now?" asked Leo, staring hard at the smooth cold tablet.

"I am going to ask you questions and Dyl is going to type your answers into this, it's a computer. Then Jacqui will research your answers on her computer." Anna picked up both tablets.

"What is a computer?" said Leo confused. Anna faltered again.

"Computer?" he crouched down and looked at the laptop's cool smooth plastic. "It's shiny, so shiny... I have never seen anything like it."

_COMPUTER! How do you describe a computer to someone born at the turn of the century? Should I start with the binary code?_ Anna panicked.

But Leo thought for a moment, "So that flat thing is like a typewriter and a book," he said, pleased with his perceptiveness.

"Yes, kinda, that'll do." _Phew!_

Leo pulled out the chair. It dragged along in mid air making Dylan's jaw drop. He realised this was not a dress rehearsal, the stage was set and the curtains were parting. Dylan sat down and pulled his own tablet out of his bag. He flicked it open like an efficient librarian and pulled out a sharp pencil, placing it behind his ear. He had made a classic error with his detective ensemble. Now he was officially Captain Ray with the British Army.

"Jacs remind me to go home via St Vinnies, I want to get some khaki cargo pants, it will help me get into character and take a bit a pressure off the old chums," he attempted to rearrange his testicles through the blood stopping denim of his jeans.

Leo sniggered and Anna felt her face bloom with pinkness.

She looked down at her list and watched her words swimming in love hearts and stars. They darted around the page in a swoon. She squinted at the paper and fell silent. Dylan looked up into Anna's sweating face. He typed a few words and said officiously, "Name?"

"What?" said Anna.

"Pardon?" said Jacqui.

Leo stood up and stepped back. He clicked his heels in military precision. The chair fell to the floor with a clatter. Captain Ray tried to hide his terror as he watched it clunk to the ground. "One can't let the lower ranks see how a chap is really feeling. And this one is feeling terrified... I'm not skeered, la la laa," he sang under his breath.

"Private Leopold Reginald Nolan, Sir," barked back Leo.

The last dust motes were shimmering in the fading sunlight. The green room had become dream like and transparent, a cosy little cocoon. Anna sucked in her breath and realized she was playing translator to a ghost. _What would happen next?_ For every remark Leo made, she echoed it to Dylan and he zealously tapped and typed in his bumptious manner.

But she hated feeling like this, this twittery out of control feeling. She remembered Miss Scott's piercing eyes looking into the face of drippy Mr. Trigwell as she listened to his earnest uneasy chat. Her anger at his appalling lack of knowledge regarding the history of WW1 softened. Perhaps it would help if she sent him some relevant reading by email before each class. After all, he had shown remarkable mercy to Jacqui and he did say he was open to suggestions and to contact him anytime if students were having concerns. _I am concerned you are a complete idiot sir._

Dylan continued to bark at Leo.

"Thank you Private, good Irish name son, except for the Leopold bit. You're not a nasty little Fritz are you lad? Not a double agent eh man? Can you speak German?"

"No sir, mother was German and my father was straight from County Clare, Ireland sir. I can only say hello and good bye."

"Good fellow, you can't help your family, bloody Germans eh lad?"

"Yes sir."

"At ease fellow... Good man, still nasty business this war eh?"

"Very nasty indeed sir, especially if you were in it." Leo winked at Anna.

"Are you being impertinent, lad, because I can have you shot at sunrise tomorrow just like that." Captain Ray slammed his fist down on the table.

"Ouch," winced Dylan, "I forgot to take my pinkie ring off and that really hurt, could I please have an ice pack?"

"No, Dylan," sighed Jacqui, "you will be fine, my big brave lad."

"But it really hurts." Dylan's bottom lip wobbled.

"Permission to speak sir?"

"Granted, is it a remedy to help an ouchy pinky?"

"No sir, but you would have had no authority to shoot me at dawn at all sir. I am Australian," he puffed up proudly.

"He is right," interjected Jacqui, her fingers blurred as she researched to keep ahead of the conversation and Dylan's typing. "Insubordinate British soldiers could face the firing squad but the Aussies were court marshalled. The Brits tried to get the rule changed but failed. The Australians said ' _any man who volunteered for hell couldn't be faulted, or shot because he had enough.' "_

"Fine, fine you Australian thug. Look, my little finger is twice its size and I can't get my ring off. I am feeling quite claustrophobic. I can't get it off, it's swelling. Help me."

"I remember the fellows talking about it," grinned Leo ignoring Dylan. His grin faded, "I remember a couple of lads from Liverpool. They were shot at dawn after a farce of a trial. The boys weren't allowed to speak for themselves and their comrades were dead. They had seen... what they had seen... well it changes you. They weren't cowards," he bristled and shook his head.

"You were only sixteen, weren't you scared? Didn't you think about running away, seems like a very normal reaction," said Anna quietly.

"I saw a lot of boys throw down their rifles and begin to cry. Of course I was scared shitless every minute of the night and day. Scared shitless. But I had Les, Les kept me going. He was my mate and he looked after me. I was one lucky bastard to have Les keeping an eye out for me. He would give me one of his smokes and say, "Take it easy mate." He would put his hand on my arm, "Be out of here soon and back in Brown Street with a couple of quid in our pockets."

"Good old Les," whispered Jacqui as she looked up Brown St on Maps.

"We should totally go there, like a pilgrim to Graceland," said Dylan.

"It's in East Perth, only a bus and a train and a bus away," sighed Jacqui.

"That's right, East Perth... you are a clever clogs... Les never smoked but the army gave cigarettes to all of us like they were tins of bloody multivitamin lollies. Les said they would rot your lungs and I wasn't to smoke them around my Ma when I got home. Then I would think of Ma back in East Perth."

"Les sounds like a very perceptive guy," said Anna.

"Yes he was but I got hooked on them," he responded sheepishly.

"Is she okay?" he whispered and nodded in Jacqui's direction. Jacqui was engrossed with reading an Internet article. It was the stories of young underaged boys who had run away from home to join the army. Some just leaving behind a note. A note _,_ her eyes pricked with tears.

Anna glanced dismissively. "Yes. Why?" Her inner bulldog grunted. _She is a thespian as well._ She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.

Leo shrugged his shoulders and continued to watch Jacqui with growing alarm.

Jacqui swallowed down the pain in her throat and attempted to sound breezy.

"Over three hundred soldiers were shot at dawn for cowardice and insubordination. Most of those were privates... some were underage."

"Jacqui, you really are a font of fun facts." Dylan stopped typing and examined his nails nervously.

Dylan typed on with one finger from his uninjured hand. "Slow down," he shouted, "I'm wounded."

"Geez, he is a big girl's blouse."

"And what is that supposed to mean, how dare you compare our gender to that screaming sideshow," retorted Anna. She checked herself. Now was not the time or place to lurch into her favourite diatribe.

"Who are you calling a sideshow? I am not a sideshow. I am the star attraction," shouted Dylan.

"Dylan, deep breaths, deep breaths," cooed Jacqui.

"Deep breathing peeps, not you of course Leo," blushed Jacqui.

"I thought I was doing a great job of remembering to breathe," laughed Leo.
CHAPTER ELEVEN

Digitally Yours

"Let's get on with the interview, everyone is doing splendidly," beamed Jacqui, sending forth her most charismatic smile.

Dylan screwed up his face and retorted, "All we have learnt is that soldier boy comes from a fas-cin-at-ing place called Brown Street, Les was a tea drinker and that Anna is in love with Leo."

"DYLAN," screamed Anna, "I am not!"

Jacqui jumped up and grabbed Dylan by his starched white collar, "SHE IS NOT! She is not... feeling very well today... probably coming down with a terrible bug."

"Yeah, the love bug," whimpered Dylan.

His remark made her smile so she released him with an extra hard shove.

Leo looked down at his legs and pulled at his leather puttees and nervously flicked imaginary pieces of dirt from his uniform. He smiled sadly at Anna. Her face lit up like a search and rescue beacon as she stared down at the table.

"And no one cares for my poor pinkie," Dylan pouted and continued on with a very forced nonchalant air.

Leo stood up and moved to the mantelpiece and cleared his throat, "Well, what do you beggars want to know? We didn't spend all our time in the trench you know. Life had a strict routine—time in the trench, time in support and reserve and then rest. We even made it into a couple of villages and towns. We had a beaut day out and about in town weeks before, you know ... Les and I tried red wine but thought it was disgusting and then we ate some smelly cheese. Les enjoyed too much of it and spewed it up. So rich! But the hot chocolate and the croissants were top grub. But what we were really after was a piping hot cup of tea. Tea tasted like petrol back at the Front."

Jacqui's hands were a blur, "That is because it was made with water fetched from shell craters and stored in petrol tins."

"Yes, well it got Les down. He wasn't much of a drinker, he didn't smoke but by golly he loved a good cup of brew."

"That reminds me, I have two new types of herbal teas with me today and a very pretty teapot with a babushka doll design on it."

"Is he for real?" nodded Leo at Dylan. "Do the other boys pick on him?"

"Not any more," she answered, without bothering to repeat Leo's blunt question. _Why do I bother to protect the motor mouth?_

"Not anymore WHAT?" shouted Dylan, "Not this exclusivity again. Such a clique."

Leo shrugged and asked once more, "What do you want to know?"

"Your own army history might be a start," whispered Anna, without looking up.

Dylan watched Anna's face settle into a luminous fire engine red and feared her pernickety vein might burst out of her head. He felt terrible for being the cause. _Apanara jihba balaka holda, (hold your tongue boy)_ rang in his head. He fumbled with his pencil and banged at his keyboard with the illusion of intense concentration, "Regiment number if you don't mind Private Nolan." He sniffed and winced as he tried to straighten out his little finger.

"One thousand, nine hundred and eight sir," replied Leo.

Dylan was silent for a moment and then his eyes widened.

"Rightio chap, go and have a smoko for a moment. I'm going to ask these lovely ladies to make us a strong cup of tea out in the kitchen and decide which lucky lady I am going to take home to mother, depending on the strength of the pot, if you get my drift." Dylan nodded and winked in the direction of the empty chair.

Leo rolled his eyes and laughed. "He isn't a bad sort after all, that boy. Bit of a sook but... and a blabber guts."

Dylan motioned to the girls to follow him outside. He grabbed his tablet and marched them out into the corridor.

"Oh my God. Oh my Vishnu, take a look at this."

Dylan had logged into the National Military archives. Forty-two pages of military information were copied and archived. They could see Leo's shaky signature on his Attestment papers. They were pages documenting his journey from Guildford to his death in France.

"Type in Leslie Robert McNamara. See if we can track their journey?" asked Anna as her face calmed down to a flushed pink.

Forty-two pages of aged paper and pale brown ink sprang up before them. They were digitally photographed original documents. Anna touched the screen as she saw Les' bolder steadier signature.

"We must study this carefully peeps, I really feel these documents hold the answers to Leo's post death problems," murmured Jacqui.

"I hope so," replied Anna. At first, she had been encouraged by the sheer quantity of documents. She liked documents but something inside her whispered it was not going to be that easy.

"The writing is so small," squinted Dylan, "and there are so many codes. This is going to take ages. Mum said I am not to read small print without my glasses. You know I get terrible headaches."

"I will enlarge it and copy it for all of us. I won't be long."

Anna ran down to Beth in the 'home office,' glad to be out of the house and away from the other three. Her heart needed a break. Beth was lying in bed, with a large textbook opened next to her, distracted, so Anna made a beeline for the desk.

"What are you doing?" screeched Beth, "my precious ink and paper!!"

"It's for Leo," said Anna as she looked over her shoulder and wondered how long it would take Beth to waddle over to the printer, she was having trouble getting off the soft bed. Anna kept on pushing print frantically as she watched her sister in slow motion, attempt to haul her body out of the bed and steady herself like a dizzy turtle.

"Is he in, you know, is he in the green room?" asked Beth as she swung her legs to the ground with a thud.

"Yes," Anna replied, wondering where Beth kept her paperclips and colourful plastic files. By now Beth was upright and gaining speed, she was almost upon her when she stopped suddenly and asked, "Could I say hello to him?"

Anna hesitated. "We are having a break through," she muttered as she stole three manila folders and shoved the information inside.

Beth put on her slippers and brushed her hair and staggered up the back garden path with her heart racing. It was time to find out if her mother and sister were losing their minds. "You know I always thought Dad would be the first to lose the plot but you guys are streaking ahead," she laughed kindly. Lottie followed her in companionable silence as far as the back door and then turned and bolted back to the sanctuary of the shed. Lottie and Larry had not been into the house for days. Larry looked meaningfully at Beth.

"Don't worry pups, I won't forget your dry dog bickies," she shouted over her shoulder.

Larry's giant body slumped and he went back to bed.

As Beth approached the green room door, she felt an almighty contraction. She bent over and held on.

"Little bugger is using my bladder as a trampoline." When she stood up she felt her familiar friend heart burn and rubbed at her chest.

Anna looked at her intensely as she swung open the door. "How are you feeling?" she asked, "do you have chest pain?"

"Nah, I shouldn't have eaten that sausage roll on top of a litre of chocolate chip ice cream, then a pack of Doritos. Feel spewy." She bent over and then stood up letting rip an enormous burp. The air around her grew thick with a sweet and savoury fog.

"That's better," she said, fiddling with her humongous bra. "I feel much better."

Beth poked her head around the door, "Geez, it stinks in here, have you taken up smoking?"

"No, it's Leo's signature scent," replied Dylan.

"Leo, smoking will kill you," nervously tittered Beth.

"He is standing to attention next to the table," said Anna. Leo relaxed and waved at Beth.

"Of course he is," replied Beth drolly, straining hard to see into the shadowy nothingness.

"Can't you see him?"

"No, I can't see him, but I can smell smoke and something else that is putrid." She flapped her hand in front of her face and made a gagging noise.

"Oh, the smell is frightful isn't it, but one gets used to it. One learns how to adjust quickly in times of war," sighed Dylan.

"What is he talking about?" said Beth, shaking her head.

"War? Are you all mad?"

She attempted to turn her body around and lumber back down the hallway but something caught her eye.

"Oh wait, I can see a shimmer. Maybe it is a trick of the light?"

"Where, where," gasped Dylan, flouncing around like a puppy trying to get past an enormous grazing cow.

"Is he standing in front of the second chair to the right?"

"Yes, yes he is," Anna danced up and down for joy. "This is awesome!" Beth had the gift in a weaker form.

"Where, where?" said Dylan. He was running around the room chasing the last sparkling particles, scooping up air like he was on the trail of rare tropical butterfly.

"Is this him? Am I close?" he called over his shoulder to Anna and Beth. They followed him into the room.

Leo laughed and laughed, "God, he is a goog. He is a bloody fairy." He ducked as Dylan went to scoop out the side of his head and glided over to Beth.

"Oh Gawd, the smell is getting stronger, that is for sure, I can see a shadow. It's really tall, but I can't see those twinkly angelic blue eyes that you and Mum keep raving on about." Beth pinched her nose between her fingers and panted.

"We do not." The search and rescue beacon was rereleased and Anna glowed with embarrassment.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, something weird is happening." Leo put his hand on Beth's belly and patted it hesitantly as if she were a stray elephant.

"Cripes, she is HUGE and she is about to blow," said Leo in amazement.

"What? What is it? Are you having another contraction?" asked Jacqui.

Beth waddled over to the chaise and plonked herself down.

"It has stopped now, but I could have sworn he was patting me and tickling me." Beth looked dishevelled as corn chips clung to her maternity smock and her eyes bulged in wonder.

"I'm sorry, Leo didn't get the memo about keeping his hands to himself," said Anna, staring at him angrily.

"What is she going call her?" asked Leo, quickly changing the conversation.

"What is going on? I can see shadow boy but I can't hear him."

"Rude aren't they, I feel like the third wheel too."

Anna answered, "Beth doesn't know the sex of the baby." She added sarcastically looking at Beth, "She likes surprises."

"Give it a rest Anna," snapped Beth.

"It's a girl," answered Leo.

"How do you know that?"

"I don't know how I know but I just know. That bun in the oven is a girl and she is coming soon."

"Anna, Anna you look worried. What is he saying?"

"Oh nothing, Leo is full of bollocks." She shook her head at him. "There is no way you could know that."

"What did he say? Is it something about the baby?"

"Nope," said Anna.

"Where is her wedding ring or did she get too fat for it?" Leo smirked.

"She doesn't have one. Beth isn't married," replied Anna indignantly. She bit her tongue so she would not shout aloud, " _You mean legalised subordination in your day, der!"_

Leo looked shocked and concerned, "Did the father run away?"

Anna shook her head.

"Did he die?"

Anna shook her head.

"Actually, he is sitting out on the front verandah updating his I Love Beth and our Baby Face Book page. He has five hundred and sixty seven followers." Anna and Leo moved to the window and studied Blake. He was staring miserably at his Face Book page on his phone.

"He can piss off for all I care," remarked Beth, her face contorted with the pain. She panted and huffed and then relaxed. Jacqui took her hand and rubbed her back. Dylan was alarmed and became unnaturally quiet. Leo was shocked at her unladylike language.

"What is this Face Book? Is it like the Book of Love where you write a message in the newspaper to your sweetheart on Valentine's Day? I always wanted to do that, but I didn't have the nerve... or the spelling," he exhaled wearily.

"No not quite, it's a way of communicating and showing off your pics on the computer. I mean, your photographs to lots of people. You put up photos, images and info that make your life seem really awesome and cool. You leave out all the boring bits. It's like your life but heavily edited. There is even a Face Book page for WW1 Lost Boys like you Leo... you are not in it, I have checked."

"I'm confused," he moved back to the table and touched Dylan's tablet. It woke up and blinked at Leo. He jumped back alarmed. Dylan's screen saver page was a cavorting David Bowie with spiky ragged red hair, green eye shadow wearing a playsuit.

Anna looked out the window and watched Blake sitting slumped on the front verandah. Thick black whiskers sprouted from his chin and he had given up on shaving his head twice daily so a sparse friar tuck halo had sprung up around his ears.

"You are not the only one," sighed Anna. _He should know better in his profession. Bloody stalker._

She caught sight of a blue blob on his arm. Anna tilted her head and stretched forward. She could see two large swirly letters. One was a B and the other a G.

"Hey, Blake the hippie has got a tattoo, it says B G Forever."

"B and G, who could B G be? Oh I know—it's Barry Gibb. The last surviving Bee Gee. Why would he have a tatt tribute to Barry on his arm? Hmm... curious? Especially when he listens to all that depressing Nick Cave music. Why not N C? Very curious indeed," pondered Dylan.

"It's B G—Beth Grey, you idiot. Blake always calls her B G. It is his nickname for her. He is conveying his commitment to Beth and their baby through a highly visible and permanent means." Jacqui helped Beth up and they joined the others by the window. "Isn't it romantic peeps?" she added.

"He looks terrible, I haven't seen him for months," Beth faltered, "he looks like you smell Leo," she finished unkindly.

Leo's face fell, he moved back from the window. "I'm getting tired. You two girls have nasty tongues."

"You've hurt Leo's feelings Beth." Anna made no mention of her own early foot in mouth comments.

"I'm sorry," said Beth rubbing her back. "I am not feeling well today."

She scanned the room and found her shadow man fading.

"I really am sorry Leo."

All of a sudden, Blake looked up and caught sight of the four peering out at him. He jumped up and ran to the window and touched the glass near Beth's face. She reared back, the Doritos crumbs jumped off her belly like bouncing Mexican beans.

"I am not ready, I'm not ready for this. Tell him to go away." She turned to Jacqui.

"Are you sure, he really loves you."

"Please, just tell him to go."

Beth made her way back to the kitchen and sat down. She put her head in her hands and started sobbing.

"Well, I think we can call this an improvement," Jacqui beamed.

"How so?" asked Dylan bewildered.

"She didn't say one swear word and she hasn't opened the pantry door. Yes, I am calling this a break through." Jacqui made her way to the front door to be greeted by an ecstatic Blake, pawing at the fly screen.

She proclaimed loudly, "I am sorry Blake, Beth is feeling very tired today." Her loud sobs travelled down the passage way to Blake. Blake burst into tears as Jacqui leant forward and whispered, "Don't give up, I can feel a change in her, please don't give up now."

"I will never give up," he smiled a lopsided teary grin.

Dylan leaned over to Anna and whispered, "What happened again between those two? You and Jacqui are hopeless at gossip. Always talking about issues and not people. Gets boring doll."

Anna grimaced and muttered back barely moving her lips, "Blake's ex girlfriend kept stalking him through email and text. She kept sending him some very risqué pics... he never responded but he did thoroughly examine the evidence." Dylan squirmed and Anna coughed to clear her throat. "Beth did a pregnancy test, found the emails and texts and got a little cranky."

"That is an understatement, sister," replied Dylan with his hands on his hips.

Leo stood in the doorway, "I gotta go, I'm exhausted. You lot are crazy," he smiled dimly and started to fade away.

"When will you be back? We are having a break through."

"Are we? I will be back as soon as I can. Will you wait for me?"

"Of course."

"Good luck my brave lad, over the edge you go!"

Dylan saluted Private Nolan while facing the fireplace. Leo stood next to him, sighed, shook his head and disappeared.
CHAPTER TWELVE

Rats

Blake kept his vigil on the front verandah. Straight backed and crossed legged he sat on the beanbag and hummed their special song to Beth. He felt sure she would hear it and feel it as the melody traversed the wooden door and made its way down the long passage to the kitchen table.

Beth sat uncomfortably at the table while Natalie made a pot of soup, "It's getting cold out there, can't we let Blake in?" asked Nat.

Beth shook her head and opened a packet of colourful snakes. Vacantly, she stared into space as her hands reached automatically for the green ones first.

Natalie sighed and chopped the herbs into microscopic pieces.

"So you met my old pal, Leo today?"

"Yes."

"So I am not crazy?"

"No, not much," she smiled at her mother and laughed.

Anna stacked wood in the fireplace and lit it up. It smoldered and crackled then ignited into leaping orange flames, its patterns danced on the green wall. She shivered, captivated by its power.

"Chilly isn't it," remarked Dylan. He watched the rain trickle down the blocked gutter and drew a sad face on the frosty window as he looked at Jacqui.

Jacqui sat at the antique table wrapped in a throw rug, engrossed in her library books on World War One. She was now obsessed with trench warfare... the hardships beyond all of their comprehension.

"Did you know that the winter of 1916 and 1917 in France was the coldest and wettest in forty years? It made trench warfare hell on Earth. The soldiers' feet were constantly soaking in freezing water and mud that sucked them down like quicksand. But if they developed Trench Feet, it was considered their own fault... that's bloody outrageous, that can't be a war crime? Some of the wounded were stuck for days in this freezing sludge waiting for a stretcher-bearer. Then it took four men, one per corner of the stretcher to painfully slowly bring the injured in." Pale faced, Jacqui looked up from her book.

"What other cheery gems do you have for us, Jacs?" sighed Dylan.

"Well, rats feature heavily in this article," she snickered.

"Rats?" said Dyl. He paused from drawing stick people on the misty pane.

"You better not let Beth see the one of her," chastened Anna.

Dylan looked at the two large circles topped with straight lines for hair and two little rabbit feet things sticking out from under the bottom circle.

"Why? I thought I nailed it!" he laughed.

"Yes Dylan, RATS! In these shocking conditions, rats decided to bunk down with the soldiers. The rats grew as fat as overweight Chihuahuas (no offence Lottie) as they feasted on corpses and body parts." She looked over at Dylan's green face. Lottie's ears pointed up momentarily and then she fell back to sleep.

"Well, that has ruined it for me," pouted Dylan.

"Ruined what? Were you planning a holiday in a trench?"

"No, I was thinking of purchasing a rat. I need a familiar, a furry friend, you know, like a silent compadre. Apparently they are very clever quick learners and fastidiously well groomed. I feel a certain connection. I feel a void in my life," said Dylan gloomily.

"You'll always have us Dyl," said Jacqui, distractedly without looking up from her book.

"I'm sure a rat would make the perfect soulmate for you, especially if you needed help out of a plastic maze, while stabbing someone in the back as you abandoned ship... actually it sounds like a perfect match," laughed Anna.

"You are a very rude girl. If I am a rat that makes you a bulldog with chronic PMT."

"What's your animagnus Jacs?"

"Hmmm," said Jacqui distracted. "Oh I don't know, a lemur?"

"What! I always thought you were more of a prancing pony. Why lemur? Oh I know— you like to move it, move it," Dylan gyrated his pelvis. "We like to move it, move it."

"No, that is not the reason King Julian," she replied, still fixated on her book. "Back to the trench life peeps. Perhaps your animagnus could be a goldfish, if your attention span is any indication of it."

"Biatch!" huffed Dylan.

"But you are right about the rats being clever. Trench soldiers swore that the rats would scarper seconds before the German shells started to fall and explode. They were the ultimate survivors. The soldiers couldn't get rid of them because one loved up ratty couple could easily make just under a thousand babies every year. There were literally thousands and thousands of these pumped up rodents eating body bits, contaminating supplies and then getting jiggy with it."

Dylan put his hand over his mouth, horrified.

"I won't mention the head lice, the body lice, the frogs, the mustard gas and the stench of humanity," said Jacqui in one breath cringing.

"Please don't." Dylan pretended to vomit.

"On a cheerier note, back home in Perth, hundreds of single German men were rounded up and forced to live in camps. There was one on Rottnest Island and one in Fremantle I think and off shore in boats."

"Really? I always thought of WW1 as far away," said Dylan. "Why? Were they planning a political coup?"

"No, they happened to be born in Germany and Austria during a touchy time in history... oh I forgot to ask—how is that pinkie feeling today Dylan?" said Anna quietly.

"Fine thank you," he replied subdued.

"Right peeps, we digress enough! Let's get on with plowing through all this information!" Her green eyes flashed with genuine interest and Anna knew it would be a stiff competition between the two for the end of year History prize, except Jacqui wouldn't even realize she was in the semi's! _Hippy chick._

"I will read Les' info and Dylan, you can read through Leo's. Jacqui, you can find out what all these tiny military abbreviations mean and then pinpoint places on a map."

Jacqui unrolled a small map of the world and a larger map of France. "It's Mum's, she has travelled everywhere. I'm going to too... one day. Now let us begin ladies," said Jacqui enthusiastically.

Anna opened up her folder and traced Les' journey with her finger.

"So on the 17th of January 1916 Les leaves Fremantle and embarks on the HMAT Borda and disembarks at Heliopolis in February. What about Leo, Dylan?"

"Heliopolis? Where is that? Home of Zeus?" quizzed Dylan.

"No you fool, more like the home of Tutankhamen! It's an ancient city in Cairo."

"Then Les travels onto Serapeum."

"Wow," said Jacqui as she clicked on images of Serapeum. "Breathtaking!"

"Sounds like a crystal holding hippy angel," muttered Dylan.

"No, it's a fabulous necropolis, near the Pyramids. Focus you idiot."

Anna continued on, "And then Les left Egypt through Alexandria."

"Alexandria the Great?"

"Nope, the ancient seaport, Mr One hundred and forty seven.

"Whatever," said Dylan, "I don't do geography."

"No, only complicated plastic mazes with the promise of cheese, you dickhead! Pay attention!"

"I am going home if you sass me once more," sulked Dylan.

Jacqui drew a circle around Fremantle, Western Australia and then drew a wobbly line to the three stopovers in Egypt.

"So Les arrived in Egypt to find that the Australian Imperial Force, the AIF is growing. In fact, it has doubled and new divisions are forming. Looks like Les was shipped out to England and T O S from the cavalry into the artillery."

"T O S? Well I know that one! It means 'teacher over shoulder' or 'the opposite sex'." Dylan licked his lips and winked at Anna.

"I'm going to vomit all over you in a minute Dylan. You promised you would take this seriously. Please tell me what Leo did?"

"I am taking it seriously. BTW, Deepak asked me if you had a boyfriend yesterday."

"Did he?" Anna looked up from the scattered papers. Jaqcui watched her face blush.

"Oh Anna, he is so adorable, I have already picked your couple song," Jacqui enthused.

"What did you say," she asked with her finger and eyes on Heliopolis, which was now blurring and floating away on the River Nile.

"I told him you were seeing a boy called Leo!"

"YOU SAID WHAT!"

"Don't worry, treat them mean and keep them keen."

"Shut up Dylan," said Jacqui standing up and boomeranging a book at Dylan's head. It missed.

"I am only suggesting if this nonexistent love affair with soldier ghost falls through, I know a hot-blooded Hindu who would love to hold your hand and get in touch with your chakras."

"Stop it Dylan!" A well-aimed pencil case made a satisfying clunk as it hit Dylan's fauxhawk. Anna smiled at her gratefully.

Jacqui was delighted with the change in Anna. She was almost human. Leo's abrupt entrance into their little world had made Anna rethink a lot of her 'facts.'

Dylan rubbed his head but would not be silenced, "You can see it as well," he pointed to Jacqui. "Anna is so intense that it is highly possible in fifty years time that she will be pouring tea from her imaginary teapot for two, as a shrivelled up old lady ranting about the younger generation to Leo and his remaining boot and... ear. Edward and Bella were sexy, Anna and Leo are weird."

"Too far Dylan," said Jacqui in a dangerous voice and pointed to the bottom of the table.

Anna turned her body to face only Jacqui while Dylan moved to the far end of the table in disgrace. He crossed his arms like a petulant toddler with his head down, his large slapstick feet kicked at the mat while he muttered, "Well it's true, Deepak's had the hots for you for ages and you only have eyes for Mr Invisible. If I were in love with a ghost, you would have organized an intervention party, a pyschologist and an exorcism by now. It's not normal you know... plus you always pick on me... always," he mumbled himself into a chair. "Not fair!"

"I am ignoring you from this point on. You no longer exist." Jacqui's voice was low and threatening with a just perceptible hiss.

Anna picked up Leo's documents and studied them for herself. It took a while for the words and letters to become words and letters again instead of taunting senseless symbols. The papers shook in her hand as she struggled to control her rage and embarrassment. She was chafing at the lead but what could she say? Dylan was right. It took all her strength to carry on as she said in a steadier tone, "Leo's journey is exactly the same as Les'." She looked up genuinely perplexed. Leo's life quickly absorbed her again and she continued on, "They were moved around a lot but always managed to stick together. It seems strange."

"I am ignoring you as well," trilled Jacqui sickly sweet. "Back to the matter at hand, T O S means taken on strength. It means he was taken in and counted as one of the battalion. They in turn became responsible for him."

"So Les and Leo make the long voyage to Egypt, to find that they were needed in France. Why is that Jacqui?" asked Anna, ignoring the Dylan sideshow.

"I am so glad you asked me Miss Anna." Jacqui took a pencil and twirled her hair around it and fastened it into a bun.

"There are, of course, many reasons. But just looking at the facts quickly, Australia answered the call for more troops after the AIF entry requirements became less strict. In fact, forty thousand men answered the call. Extra divisions were made in Egypt and trained by experienced soldiers from Gallipoli. Divisions began multiplying. I am looking at the Embarkation nominal rolls here and most of the young men's occupations fall into working class. They were labourers, timber hands, farm hands, miners, shearers and clerks. The new divisions were pretty rough and ready. Actually, they were really raw, some boys hadn't even used a gun, yet within six months these boys were fighting in the Battle of Somme, France."

"Thank you Jacqui for your thorough research," said Anna, giving Dylan a haughty look. "They both embarked on the HMS Corsica and headed over to England, disembarked at Plymouth and ended up in Bulford."

"What was Bulford, Jacqui?" said Anna pointedly.

"Why thank you for asking Anna. So nice to be taken seriously." She glared at Dylan who yawned noisily in retaliation. She picked up her pen and drew a shaky line from Egypt to Plymouth, England.

"It was a military training camp in Wiltshire. If you Google Earth you can still see the outline of the practice trenches running throughout the countryside. It was supposed to introduce our boys to the perils of trench warfare and the joys of the Motherland."

Anna ran her pointer fingers over Les and Leo's paperwork. "There are so many abbreviations, it's like its been written by a thirteen year old. LOL," chuckled Anna.

"R O F L M A O," giggled Jacqui.

"A W H F Y?" sulked Dylan, "cos I'm not!"

"What is O D P?" asked Anna.

"It is overstaying your day pass."

"Look, in July 1916 the pair of them overstayed their day passes on the same day. My guess is they were getting drunk before they hit the Front," said Anna disapprovingly.

"Hmm probably at the Rose and Crown." Jacqui read out from the screen.

"How could you know that?"

"Easy, I looked up the closest pub in walking distance from Bulford."

"Then I discovered that Stonehenge was a thirteen minute walk. They could have been overwhelmed by the mystical forces coming from the Henge and become disorientated, unable to find their way home."

"As likely as being abducted by a couple of druids or aliens," snorted Anna.

"Yes that does sound ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as tracking the military information of a sexy soldier ghost in Limbo. Where should I circle Otherside on the map?" Jacqui laughed.

Dylan sniggered from the edge of the dining table.

"Point taken, although promise if I start writing odes to unicorns you will lock me up."

"Promise!" replied Jacqui.

Anna put down her pen and looked at Jacqui.

"How would you cope if you couldn't google?"

"I can't bear to think about it. It's like saying how would you cope if someone poked your eyes out. I would be cast into a world of darkness." Jacqui shuddered.

"Okay let's finish off Les' and Leo's big adventure. They arrive in France."

"Hallelujah," murmured Dylan. "We are nearing the end. Hurry up and die already Leo."

"Can you hear something Jacqui?"

"No Annakins I hear nothing, perhaps it was the scuttling of a rat."

"Perhaps it was."

Dylan crossed his arms and pouted, he went to say something else but thought better of it. But then ended up saying it anyway. "Cairo, England and France! Sounds like a Contikki tour?" he whined from the far end of the table. "They have seen more of the world than me!"

"Recommendation, don't speak again." Jacqui stood up and glared at Dylan. He studied a knot in the wood, while giving Jacs the finger. Her glare created an artic chill tunnel and Dylan retracted the finger and studied its varnish.

"Unfortunately, here is where it gets a bit vague. Once they arrive in France it is only marked 'in the field' or France. They seem to get T O S a fair bit. There is a pattern forming. Leo is transferred and Les follows." Anna traced her finger over the hand written notes of long ago.

She read quietly while attempting to cross reference the two soldiers' paths. "I think I can make out the word Amiens. The writing is so squiggly. And then Les gets a P.U.O at least twice, what is that?"

"P.U.O. is Pyrexia of Unknown Origin. It means a high body temperature over thirty-eight degrees with no obvious cause. It was probably Trench Fever."

"Don't you mean Trench Feet, get it right!" shouted Dylan gleefully from his exiled naughty chair.

"Did you hear a noise?"

"No Annakins, I did not. Could it be a rat in the roof?"

"Hmmm curious," mocked Anna.

"Trench Fever was a flu like condition that struck down hundreds of thousands of soldiers. They suffered influenza like symptoms and were hospitalised for days. This was a very pesky inconvenience for those running a war so Trench Fever was thoroughly investigated and the cause was found to be —"

"Oh let me guess, rats!" piped up Dylan.

"Lice pooh! Trench Fever was summer time fun and winter sports held the thrill of Trench Foot."

Anna continued reading the army archives information silently.

"Les and Leo continued to serve King and Country until the 21st of March 1918."

"What happened that day?" asked Dylan innocently.

"You're a queensize dickhead Dylan," said Jacqui sweetly.

"Leo is K. I. A (KILLED IN ACTION) SHELL.

Les suffered WDS.BOTH.LEGS.COMPOUND.FRACTURE. SEVERE. SHELL."

"That month and year sound familiar. Wasn't that the start of the German Spring Offensive? End of March 1918? Remember we studied Owen's poem in context of the war in Lit last term? I loved Wilfred Owen so insightful and visual," said Jacqui softly.

"I hated Wilfred Owen, so depressing and boring. None can compare to the Bard. But yes I do remember Miss Scott talking about Operation Michael, the Germans went all out at the end of March 1918 to win the war before the Americans got involved," explained Dylan. "Successful. Not much."

"Where is Les taken to hospital? That is a big clue, it won't be too far away from the shell site," said Dylan, finally getting interested.

Anna ran her finger forward over the archive. "Boulogne Military Hospital."

"If Les is taken to Boulogne Hospital and the last military entry is a very squiggly Amiens, the Front Line and Leo can't be too far away from these points. We just need to research all of the cemeteries nearby these points here." He pointed to a top small corner near the French Belgium border.

"The rat does know one or two things after all," said Anna begrudgingly.

"Well that narrows it down. There are hundreds of graveyards and thousand of graves." The image of white crosses dotting the French countryside with military precision flashed up on Jacqui's tablet. "There are so many... I'm starting to feel hopeless, it's useless." She continued to type and then slumped as the screen flashed the answer to her inquiry.

"Forty six thousand Australian men died in France." She brought up the image of a sea of headstones rising up from lush green fields.

Anna and Jacqui looked at the screen. They turned the tablet to face Dylan. Jacqui's vision blurred as she wiped away a few fledgling tears. She watched Anna dab at her eyes with the corner of her cardigan but she couldn't contain the tears. She had never seen Anna cry before... almost once or twice but nothing like this. Dylan reached into his pocket and brought out a crisp Calvin Klein handkerchief and blew his nose. A loud bugle noise popped out and then he continued to mop his teary face. He jumped up and ran back down to the two girls and attempted to embrace them tenderly. "Get off me Dylan, you freak," cried Anna.

She looked down at the few remaining archive pages, "Les' story is just how Leo told it. He is taken to 11th Central clearing station, then to the 53rd Military Hospital in Boulogne, then back to England to the East Suffolk Hospital. The rest of the information concerns his discharge on the 19th of April 1919. Then there is the wait for repatriation."

"Was he entitled to land? You know war veterans were given tracts of land."

"No. It was only given to able bodied men."

"What was he before the war?"

"The nominal roll says Cab Driver. I guess he drove horse drawn carriages. How romantic!"

"After the war, Les was given the job of an elevator man in a Department store in the city."

"From the Great Outdoors to which floor please?" Dylan's voice cracked.

"And what about the rest of the information concerning Leo," asked Jacqui.

"There is this form reporting his death, Army Form B. 2090A entitled Field Service."

"So that will tell us the place of death?" asked Jacqui.

"It just says, 'In the field'. Really quite a useful report," said Anna sarcastically. _CWOT._

She continued on. "Place and date of burial? Guess?" Anna answered herself, "'Not yet to hand' is typed in crookedly. How helpful. The typing is terrible."

"Oh don't be too tough on the Officer who wrote this. Often dead bodies were left out in the open while the living and the wounded were dealt with. If they were lucky, the dead would eventually be buried in a makeshift kind of way, only to be eventually moved and reburied in proper graveyards and war cemeteries. Plenty of room for human error," said Jacqui.

"Yuck," offered Dylan sympathetically to all the lost souls. "He may not even have a grave."

"We have a lot of information but is it going to help Leo move on?" asked Anna.

"We know that they were in the same battalion in the same brigade. They were killed and injured on the same day, probably by the same shell."

"Shell fallout is widespread, they may not have even been near each other in the final moments," offered Dylan.

"True, true," replied Anna. "Although I get a feeling that they were near each other when Leo died. I think that moment made a massive impact on one's life and on the other's afterlife."

She stared into the fire transfixed by flames, Les and Leo's photo sat on the mantelpiece their young faces were illuminated and then cast into darkness by the slow foxtrot of the fire.

"We have found out a lot today, this is a fantastic start peeps."

"That's just it, it's only the start. I don't know how helpful 'in the field' and 'not to hand' are at resolving a teenage boy's one hundred year old quest. What are we going to tell Leo? This is stuff he already knows—him and his mate Les came a cropper! What will we do now? There are still so many questions. How did he meet Les? How did he know Agnes?"

"We ask him," said Dylan, lining up his biros as he packed up his bag.

Jacqui and Anna stared at Dylan. _If only it was that simple_ thought Anna. _His memory is full of holes._

"Of course we ask him... we ask him about his childhood. Quite often childhood issues carry through into adulthood. Let's go all Freudian on his arse. We could poke around in his early memories. Give his Id a good tap. It will really get things going!" replied Jacqui.

"Hmmmm, Freud you say ... I already have the bottle top glasses and a fake white mo with matching beard. All I need is the cigar... do you think Liam would lend me one?" pondered Dylan. "I would leave the plastic on it!"

"NO DYLAN, NO PROPS."

"Okay, little Miss Party Pooper," he sighed.

"Meet you back here tomorrow. I will text you both when Leo returns."

"Crash the night at my house Jacs? I am too wired to walk home by myself."

"If you insist, my big brave ratty." She stretched and yawned lazily.

Dylan turned and whispered cheekily to Anna, "Soz about before... and sweet dreams."

SWEET DREAMS

Anna is standing by the punch bowl. She helps herself to a small cup without thinking of its ill effects. She sips her drink daintily and places the glass cup back on the table.

She looks down at herself and sees she is wearing a pale ivory dress embellished with tiny glistening pearls. The soft lace hugs her body as three ruffles roll down the middle of her gown. The hem skims her fine suede boots. She catches sight of herself in a mirror over a mantelpiece and is intrigued by her short hair delicately waved and finished with a glimmering hair clasp. It catches the light and twinkles. She feels beautiful and carefree.

The music penetrates her dreamy state and she starts to sway in time.

The party is in full swing now. Gorgeous girls shimmer and move delicately around the dance floor. Well turned out men spin them effortlessly like twirling teacups.

She sees Leo across the room standing in front of the orchestra tapping his foot. Turning, he sees her and breaks into one of his wide grins. He looks so handsome in his black suit. He waves and then winds his way to her through the crowd of pretty young things to take her hand and leads her onto the dance floor.

" _I can't dance."_

" _Of course you can, this is a dream. You can do anything you want."_

" _I want to dance with you."_

" _Then let us dance Miss Anna."_

He looks at her intensely with his blue eyes and then merrily swings her onto the swirling dance floor. She feels light and free and looks up into Leo's face but he is searching the crowd. Searching for someone else.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The Gospel According to Leo

Nuts for Balls...

Anna sat down and set up her laptop—Leo called it her magic box and lifted it up in the air to examine the shiny white keyboard. "Awesome!" he joked.

"No messing around Leo, we need to get into your head," she said briskly. "You know, capture some memories and try to work out why you have one foot in the grave and your bum on my chaise." She looked sideways at Leo _. Was it just a dream?_

"What do you want to know?" He slumped forward on the table and attempted to roll a smoke.

Yep. It was just a dream. Friggin' subconscious!

"Tell us about your childhood; tell us how you met Les and how you came to haunt Aggie. Just tell us your life story," prompted Anna, while praying that Dylan would keep his face shut today.

"It will be short," quipped Dylan.

"Now remember Dylan, don't interrupt. Leo is going to talk and I am going to type this time."

Dylan placed his hands on the mantelpiece and hunched operatically forward. "Why do you always pick on me so. This interview was my idea... and I'm not taking my bottle top specs off."

"Shut up Dylan," said Jacqui but she patted the chair next to her affectionately. "Come and get a front row seat of the transcript. So exciting."

"Words forming before our very eyes, riveting stuff Jacs. What's next, watching paint dry or cockroaches copulate?" Never the less he turned and moved toward her, sitting down with a sullen pop. He folded his arms and looked at the screen, feigning boredom while containing his panic.

"Wait! I have to take my specs off. Jacqui has six eyes and the screen looks oval shaped. It's crazy baby!"

Anna snorted and started typing.

"Remember you must type EVERYTHING that is said in this room, Annakins."

Anna rolled her eyes and snorted again.

FIRST INTERVIEW WITH PRIVATE LEOPOLD NOLAN

14TH FIELD ARTILLERY BRIGADE

54TH BATTALION 5TH DIVISION

LATE OF THE 10TH LIGHT HORSE

2/5/2013 1400HRS

Present: Anna Grey, Natalie Grey, Jacqui Van Eeden and Dylan Ray.

**A** : Go ahead Leo, start at the beginning... you know... when you were a kid.

**L** : I was an only child. I lived across the road from a house full of McNamaras. That is when I was there.

**A:** Where else would you be?

**L:** When I was a nipper, Mum used to get sickly, her cough sounded a bit like Dylan's cough... you know... wheezy. Dad went prospecting for gold in Kalgoorlie. He made a packet and bought the house in Brown Street, East Perth. He went back to make enough for one of those automobiles. He never made it back, accident in the mines at Boulder. Mum and I were all alone. Dad's family was in Ireland and Mum's family lived in Germany. When she was sick and couldn't look after me, the nuns took me in. They were very kind but it wasn't a place for a child. Sometimes Mary Ellen would come over and give Mum a pot of soup, but she was often indisposed herself. When I got bigger I looked after Mum and myself. Mum would sew and embroider. We got by. Sometimes money would be wired from Mum's relatives in Europe.

**N:** So you lived across the road from Les. It's all making sense now.

**L:** Yes. I used to watch Dan and Les play cricket in the street, with a stick for a bat and sometimes they had a ball and sometimes the ball was a gumnut or screwed up newspaper. They were older than me. If I was eight then Dan might have been twelve and Les was about fifteen. I was very shy.

**A:** What happened to the shy boy!

**L:** Very funny! I would watch them play from inside the house from the front room. But Mum would cough so much and sometimes I couldn't bear it and so I would sit out on the front verandah. Les waved at me, Dan made a face. Dan was a bit agro and wanted Les to keep his mind on the game. They were both lanky fellows. You could tell they were brothers even though they had different colouring. Les had a headful of dark straight hair. It kind of flopped around and he had these big brown eyes whereas Dan had thick curly blonde hair that he kept short. He was always hacking at his curls with his pocketknife. He hated them. He had pale blue eyes. But the shape of their brow and nose was identical.

(Silence)

Dan's hair was a lot like yours.

**A:** I was waiting for you to say that.

**L:** Les would do all these tricky moves and clown around for me. He could walk on his hands and do back flips in the air. He could touch his tongue to the tip of his nose and flip his eyelids back. He made me laugh. I tried and tried but I couldn't do either trick. Dan would do cartwheels too. They had to watch out for the horses pooh. First swear word I ever heard came from Dan's lips. He had cart wheeled head first into a steaming pile of horse business. Dan was as mad as a cut snake. Les laughed himself silly at the sight. I didn't dare smile. I wanted to prove to Dan I was worthy of his company.

Les would give the ball a good crack and sometimes it would end up on the roof. Les would stand on Dan's shoulders and swing himself up onto the windowsill and climb up on to the roof like a cat. It was like the circus had come to town. But better. He made me laugh.

Les invited me to play one day. I was so nervous. I had butterflies in my stomach. Dan was really cross at Les for asking a 'baby' to join in. I didn't want to let Les down. I was tall for my age. I had been doing all the household chores since forever and had grown quite strong.

I hit that ball and it went flying and I ran as fast as I could and scored a six. Best moment of my life. Les clapped and stamped and shook my hand. He said I could be Captain of the Australian cricket team one day and stop the Poms from claiming the Ashes.

Dan scowled and said he supposed I could play but there were to be no baby tears and he got to double up as umpire. His authority was not to be questioned. Dan was a great stickler for the rules. But Les just loved having a lark and running about.

**A:** You know there is a Women Ashes cricket team now? Actually it started in the 1930's but serious in the 1990's but still does not receive the coverage the men's teams get, thanks to the 'powers that be!'

**L:** Really?

**D:** I despise cricket.

**J:** Stick to the interview Annakins.

**A:** Go on Leo. Keep talking.

**L:** So every time they played in the street, I would join in with them. I rarely went inside their house but that was all right by me. Mrs. McNamara ran a tight ship and she had enough kids of her own. But I was so happy to be allowed to play in the street with these lads. It was like Christmas every time Les gave me the whistle to join in.

Dan and Les had two older brothers, Joseph and Laurence who had left home and were working at the new furniture factory nearby. It made all kinds of stuff for Boans in Town.

The game would stop the second that one or both of the older boys came home to see their mother and the family. The two older lads would whistle and yahoo from the top of the street. The two younger boys would throw down their bat and ball and run to greet them. They would shake hands, pat backs and say mercilessly unkind things to each other, that would leave them all in stitches, falling about the place in laughter.

Joe and Laurence would pat me on the head and once Joe gave me an orange. Never seen such a thing. He had been picking fruit at an orchard in Guildford.

Once Laurence brought home a cake. A girl who was sweet on him had made it for him. It was in an old tin. He took the lid off and proudly showed us. I can still remember its shiny white icing and red cherries. Les invited me into the house to share it with them. I fell to the rear of the lads, nervous as a kitten I was, so proud to be invited in. I was fairly bursting with pride. I remember Mary Ellen was at the kitchen sink. She looked like she had been crying. She heard the ruckus and turned around and embraced her boys. They flung their arms around their mother and she cried into their shoulders. They were all pretty tight.

"Crikey Mum, you are jiggering the lid off the cake tin, what a grip you have," Laurence squirmed out of her hug.

Mary Ellen replied, "Glory be to God, a cake. Just what the doctor ordered." It was the first time I had heard the Lord's name taken in vain.

We all sat down around the table, this very table. She cut a huge chunk out for Mr. McNamara, the Old Man. She carefully wrapped it and put it aside and then divided the rest up. There were four brothers and myself and four sisters. I had never paid much mind to the girls. They were not allowed to play on the street. I had noticed them in Church but I could never take my eyes off Les. He would mimic the priest like he was a vaudevillian... such a wag. God, he cracked me up.

The youngest girl Gladys, well she lay on the sofa wrapped in a knitted rug. The eldest sister Veronica brought a small slither of cake and propped her up tenderly. She fed it to her crumb after crumb... she was nice. But Gladys was too poorly for cake. I remember her hair was wet with sweat. She made me think of my own Ma. I put my unfinished piece in my pocket.

I looked up and the two middling sisters were staring at me, Daisy and Agnes. (Silence.)

They were the most beautiful creatures I had ever seen.

I smiled at them, Agnes remained all hoighty toighty but Daisy smiled at me. I excused myself, thanked Mrs McNamara and made for home. They would hardly miss me in all the noise. Laurence was telling a story about the baker's daughter and Joe kept butting in with actions to go with it... apparently the girl was well endowed—Joe was miming big bosoms. The laughter was uproarious. Mrs McNamara was beaming and she had her hanky over her mouth to smother her laughter. Tears poured from her red bleary eyes.

Daisy slipped away and followed me to the door.

"Don't you like cake?" Daisy asked, quite rudely too as I remember it.

I said, "I like cake just fine, but I want to share it with my mother."

"I see you playing with Les and Dan all the time," she said. Then she asked me how old I was. I told her I was nearly nine. She said she was nearly nine and Aggie was nearly ten, Veronica was thirteen and three quarters and Gladys had just turned six.

"Gladys doesn't look well," I said.

"She is very sick and the doctor has just been in to see her."

"Is that why your Mother was crying?" I asked.

"Yes and because of the baby."

"What baby?" I asked.

"We lost our baby sister last week. The Lord took her for an angel in His Garden. Ma had a baby in her belly and then she didn't. I didn't see the baby but I could hear Mum wailing. Now it doesn't look good for our Gladys," she wiped her nose on her smock.

"What is wrong with your mother?" she asked straight out, just like that.

"She has a bad chest."

"Is she going to die?" asked Daisy, just like that, bold as.

"No, I don't think so." I replied. I had never thought about it. I felt the cake in my pocket.

I said, "Goodbye Miss Daisy, see you again soon."

Anyways, Ma was sitting up at the table sewing and drinking tea. She was having a good day. She was a dab hand at embroidering and sewing. She took in sewing to help us out. People paid a pretty penny for her workmanship but it was time consuming and it's hard to do delicate stitches when coughing racks your bones.

I sat down at the table and put the cake on her saucer. Even though it was a bit squashed, she was so happy. I asked her if she was going to die and she laughed and said not if she could help it and I was more likely to be done in by breaking my neck trying to copy the lads across the road. That was if I didn't get pounded to death by the horses' hooves of Mr. McNamara's cab.

We ate the cake together and I told her all about the children across the road. I tried to copy Joe and Laurence's humorous way of telling a tale by flapping my arms about and Ma spat her tea out from laughing so hard.

It was one of the best days of my life.

**N:** Wow Leo. If only you'd told me all of this back in the Nineties.

**L:** You never asked.

**N:** Sorry.

(Weird silence)

**N:** It's not weird; it's a thoughtful silence.

**A:** It's weird Mum.

**N:** Let's pause for Tim Tams. Since you moved in Leo, my need for sugar has soared again.

**L:** Again, more like always.

**A:** That's not fair Leo, I am craving sugar too.

**L:** Maybe you need to sweeten up. Sometimes you look like you swallowed a lemon. You get this funny looking vein thing here. (Points to temple)

**A:** I know about the vein.

**L:** I am knackered too. (Leo has disappeared.)

INTERVIEW PAUSED

Chapter Fourteen

The Gospel according to Leo

In the name of the spud...

Interview RECONVENED AT 1507HRS (Apologies from Natalie Grey, Beth is feeling sick.)

**L:** The next time the boys and I were out in the street playing, I kept an eye out for Daisy. Sure enough she was sitting in the front room. She saw me and came outside. Agnes followed her.

They had little bundles with them. They were potatoes wrapped in handkerchiefs. I asked them what they were doing. Agnes replied rudely, 'Wasn't it obvious, they were playing with their baby dollies.' They had even named their potatoes. Agnes' spud was called Alice and Daisy named hers Lucy. Agnes kept lovingly swaddling her potato. She would get the hanky to fit snuggly and then she would start all over again. Daisy wrapped hers up briskly and placed it carefully in her pocket, so its tatty head was sticking out, "So Lucy can breathe," said Daisy.

I said, "Didn't she know it was only a potato and not a dolly. Was she mad?"

Daisy said, "Didn't I know the stick was only a stick and not a real cricket bat and how was that any different to a potato baby?"

Veronica called them back inside. They both went into the house in a hump. Veronica was shouting that Gladys needed her attention and could the girls please light the stove and peel the potatoes for dinner.

I laughed my head off when I heard that. Dan and Les asked me what was so funny and I told them. They laughed too but when I looked up, I saw Daisy staring through the window. She looked so hurt. I felt really lousy.

A few days after that I could hear noises coming from the McNamara's house. Dan, Agnes and Daisy were sitting out the front wrapped in blankets looking forlorn. Mr. McNamara's cab pulled up and out got the Doctor. I stood in the middle of the street, glued to the spot. Moments passed and loud crying began. I knew Gladys had died. Les, Dan and the girls hurried in. I tried to catch Daisy's eye and waved. She nodded and went in.

All that week I felt terrible, just terrible. Dan and Les didn't play cricket in the street for a long time after that.

The weather changed, Ma's chest was bad and she needed help. I tried to think of a way to make Daisy feel better. It was about this time I started helping Les with the horses. The Old Man was a cab driver and owned a small team. He had a small house on a quarter acre. He had also made his money in prospecting for gold and working in the mines. Ma said my Dad saw the future in automobiles but Old Man McNamara believed people would always use the horse and carriage. He loved his horses and kept them out the back in a glorified tin shed he had made himself. It was a well fitted out enormous stable. Mary Ellen called the stable, the 'bloody Taj Mahal' for horses. I heard her shout once or twice that he loved his horses more than he loved her. I never caught his reply... I always feel proud of my Dad when I look out the window and see the automobiles flying past.

Laurence and Joe had served their time mucking out the stable and looking after the horses. They hated it and so did Dan. All he thought about was playing cricket for Australia. Nothing would come between him and his dream.

But Les loved the horses and named them all himself. He had a strange habit of naming each horse with the same kind of sound. There was Boots, Bell, Bach and others too. Bushells was his favourite. I can't remember them all. He shovelled their doings, groomed them, fed them, exercised them and then shovelled their doings again. The Old Man did most of his trade around Town but he would rub his hands together when a new suburb opened up. Sometimes he would travel as far as Bayswater, which is out in the sticks. The business grew big and soon the Old Man needed a second team of horses. Les was invited by his father to be a driver. Les was as happy as Larry. Well pleased. But it meant he had little time for caring for the horses. He needed help. Les knew Ma and me had the wolf at the door so he asked me to be their stable boy and paid me a small wage.

I cared for the horses like they were Les' friends. Well... they sort of were. He seemed to understand them. I never quite felt what Les felt for the horses but I did my best and he was always pleased with my work. The Old Man left it to Les to show me what to do and how to do it. He was a man of very few words and was more at home reading the paper around the back of the sheds than talking. Anyways, Mary Ellen talked enough for both of them.

**A:** What about Daisy?

**L:** Oh yeah, right. Weeks passed and I would be lucky if I caught a glimpse of her. I really wanted to make it up to her. I had an idea. I stole a couple of spuds from the corner shop and with a knife I fashioned faces on the potatoes. I dug out big eyes and wide smiling mouths. Then I wrapped them up in some pretty scraps from Mum's sewing basket. I walked home from work with Les. He was still cut up about Gladys. Mary Ellen was very sad and didn't leave her bed much. I think her heart had broken. I asked Les if he would call Daisy and Aggie to the front door. I had a present for them. I showed him the tatty dollies. He said I was a brave fellow and to get ready to cover my shins and run for it. He went and fetched them for me.

I told the girls I was sorry about their sister and I had a present for them. Their faces lit up and I pulled out my dollies and gave them one each. Aggie started screaming and said it was the ugliest thing she ever had the misfortune to cast eyes upon. She dropped it on the ground and ran back into the house.

Daisy picked it up and laughed out loud. She said it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. She said she would call them Alice and Lucy the Second. Then she thanked me and went back inside. I saw her a few days later, she said Alice and Lucy were very good dolls and Agnes and her had played for ages with them until Alice's eyes went black and Lucy grew a stalk out of the side of her head. Then Veronica took the dollies away and returned them peeled, quartered and baked and served with butter. They were delicious, she laughed gaily.

They were such pretty girls I really felt that they deserved a beautiful doll. I walked all the way into town one day and into Boans. I looked at all the dolls. They might as well have been a million pounds. I couldn't afford one. I bought some boiled sweets for us to share and started the trek home.

As I was leaving Wellington Street, I fell in step behind a Nanny and her young charge. The girl was screaming her lungs out over something, I don't know what. I reckon she might have needed the strap. That was what Mary Ellen gave her young uns if they pulled a stunt like that.

The girl was blathering and crying and pouting and sulking. The poor Nanny held her tightly by the hand. In the girl's other hand she was clutching a small and perfectly formed baby dolly. It had a pretty china face and a soft stuffed body.

The little girl started to whack the Nanny in the stomach with the baby's hard head. The Nanny scowled and fended her off then the little princess flung her arm back to get a really good swing up and let go of dolly. And then blow me down... it fell into my hands.

I was stunned.

Now I know Anna, it's a sin to steal but I reckon that was divine intervention so I stuffed the doll up my jumper and ran for it. I ran around the corner and hid. I peeked back and the little tot was kicking and biting and scratching at this stage and the Nanny was hanging on to her for dear life while trying to hail a cab. In all of the commotion, no one had realised the doll was missing. I sprinted the whole one and a half miles home.

I got home and shut the door quietly. Mum had been sewing but was now sleeping. I took the doll out—she had a face like a cherub... actually she looked a bit like your Jacqui girl—big green eyes and thick curly lashes. Her dress was a bit dirty but she was in pretty good nick. I wasn't sure how I was going to explain having a doll in my hot hands. I ran across the road and knocked on the door and then hid. I was gonna scarpa if Mary Ellen or the Old Man opened up. It was Aggie. I couldn't trust she would share the doll with Daisy. Aggie stepped back into the house frightened like she had seen a ghost. I walked around the back and Daisy was bringing in the washing. She was caught up in some sheets so I put the doll on top of the clean washing and bolted. Suddenly Daisy started screaming like a bull ant had bitten her. She ran inside clutching the doll and Aggie and Veronica ran out to see what the fuss was about. They met on the back porch. Daisy was hugging and kissing the cherub doll with all her heart. Aggie looked—what is that word Dylan keeps saying, Aggie looked freaked out. Her eyes were like saucers. Daisy offered her a cuddle of the baby but Aggie shook her head—no, no she didn't want to touch it, it could've been the work of the Devil. Aggie was sure the Devil tempted little girls with such fine toys. It was too lovely to be made on Earth.

I guess by that stage Aggie had worked out she had the 'gift'. There was so much death in the family, I'm sure she must have been receiving ghostly visitors by then. She wasn't sure if the doll was real or not... or what it meant.

I paid no regard to Aggie. I knew nothing of her suffering or trials at this stage. I had made Daisy shout and whoop for joy. It was more than I could have ever hoped for. My heart was hers. Forever.

**A:** So you were sweet on Les' sister! I was beginning to wonder if you were sweet on Les. It sounded like the bromance of the century.

**L:** What is a bromance? I don't like the sound of that.

**A:** Don't worry.

**L:** That night, I hear rocks bouncing off my bedroom window. I'm not scared, I know who it is. It's Daisy. She was out in the front garden hiding amongst the weeds. She was clutching dolly fiercely, I could tell she was scared because she knew she would get the strap if she got caught. I jammed open the window and said, 'What in hells bells do you think you are doing... I will get my bum whooped too if you don't high tail home right now.'

She said, 'I know it was you.'

I played dumb, 'Me what?'

She says, 'You gave me dolly. I love her. I have named her Alice Lucy the First and only."

I replied, 'That's a nice name, now go home.'

Suddenly there was a clanking across the road. I thought I would die of fright, but it was just Les putting out the milk bottles. He looked up and he must have caught sight of Daisy's head in the moonlight amongst the dandelions. He closed the front door quietly and marched across the road. He pulled her up by the ear and whispered angrily that never mind about the Old Man and the strap, he would smack her bum the next time he saw her out after dark in a boy's yard and that was for certain. And it was Dan's turn to take out the bottles that night but they had swapped. What if Dan had caught her out here? He would have tattled to Mum in a heartbeat.

Daisy winced and Les let go of her. She whispered back boldly that she hadn't said thank you to Leo yet and she wasn't going until she said what she came to say.

'Hurry up,' said Les, 'You know Mum walks the house half the night with heartburn and leg cramps. She will be on to you.'

'Did you steal Alice doll?' she asked.

'No, I found her,' I told her.

'Found her, where?'

'In Wellington Street.'

'Are you lying to me?'

'No,' I said as bold as brass.

Then she said, 'Well I decided that I don't care if you stole her or not, Alice Lucy was meant for me, don't you think?'

I wanted to reply with all my heart she belongs to you. She fell like an angel from the sky just for you but that sounded soppy in front of Les. And Daisy always had this slightly fierce look on her face so I just shrugged and said, 'You better get going, stupid girl.'

**A:** Much less nauseating, I could taste the bile before.

**L:** Daisy smiled and then poked out her tongue.

Les gave her a gentle kick up the bum as she crossed the street in front of him and then he looked over his shoulder to me and frowned and shook his head. They disappeared inside the house. She didn't knock on the window again, not for a long time.

From then on, Daisy, Agnes and I would play together for a few minutes every couple of days. They were busy helping their mother and doing schoolwork and I was helping my Ma and working. They were a couple of bright sparks. They could read and do sums and even quote Shakespeare.

**D:** _The quality of mercy is not strained._

**L:** _It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven._

**D & L:** _Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed_. (Dylan looks amazed.)

**D:** No offence but how do you know Shakespeare?

**L:** Daisy's favourite quote. Sometimes she was a bit of a poser like you.

**D:** Charming!

**L:** Anyways, I wished Aggie would stay inside but she would always follow Daisy around even though she was the older sister. She always had such a sour look on her face. Nothing was ever fair according to Aggie, her turn wasn't long enough and her piece wasn't big enough. She always thought the pair of us were cheating or conspiring but we weren't.

(Long silence)

I really wanted to but for some reason Daisy really loved Aggie and was always kind hearted to her and would never cheat her. Aggie was a right wowser. A real bloody killjoy.

**A:** Don't hold back; tell us how you really feel!

(Another long silence)

**L:** Of course, I saw Daisy in Mass and even if Ma were too sick to go I would still go. The nuns thought I was a bloody saint and that they had done a champion job on me and my soul but I just wanted to catch a glimpse of Daisy's dark hair and sparkling eyes. Les could have done a back flip down the Communion aisle now and I would not have noticed.

Once or twice Mary Ellen caught me looking at Daisy and frowned at me sternly. I said the Pater Noster (Our Father) extra loudly like Les did. Next time she looked at me, I tried to touch my tongue to my nose like Les did when he wanted to get out of trouble and make his mother laugh. She would always soften at that... sometimes she would do it back. Anyways, I couldn't do it, just looked like I was sticking my tongue out like a greedy frog. Geez, she smacked the back of my head hard but discreet like as I dipped my hand into the holy water on the way out of Church. I remember the splash.

Anna touches her tongue to her nose. (Leo is impressed.)

(Dylan attempts it but fails.)

**L:** Three people in nearly one hundred years. How come I can't do it? (Leo attempts and fails.)

**A:** It is not that big a deal. It's genetically preprogrammed.

**L:** What?

**J:** Ladies, do you mind, you are interrupting the love story of the century.

**L:** Why does she call us ladies when there are a couple of blokes around? (Leo looks at Dylan trying to touch his tongue to his nose.) One, I guess. He looks like a cat bringing up a fur ball.

**J:** Leo, if you don't mind, on with the story.

**L:** Anyways, if we had free time, perhaps on a Sunday after Mass, we would head off to the river. We wouldn't walk together. I understood Mary Ellen perfectly. Daisy would take off her stockings and paddle while I swam in the river. Well, you can imagine how much this scandalized Aggie. Aggie said Daisy would end up in trouble. Nice girls didn't take off their stockings or tuck their dress into their pants. We would have been about twelve or thirteen.

She was forever calling Daisy to come back and sit down with her but Daisy could cart wheel and flip as well as her brothers. She had so much life in her. You know, if there had have been a girl Ashes team then Daisy would have been the Captain. We would have running races all the time but we had to wait till Mary Ellen had a nap and watch out for the Old Man's cab because they wouldn't have liked their girls running the streets dodging pooh and people. This terrified Agnes but made it even more thrilling for Daisy. She was fast too. Agnes ran like a girl—bloody hopeless. She would lag behind shouting, 'Slow down, I've got a stitch. I've got a ladder in my stocking.' (Leo does a very good imitation of an annoying girl.) There was always something wrong. I wanted to grab Daisy's hand and run away from her. But I didn't dare.

(Leo is standing looking at Daisy and Aggie's photo)

**A:** Did Daisy take that photo of herself and Agnes; it looks so close and relaxed.

**L:** No, I took the photo.

**A:** You did?

**L:** Yes.

**A:** I thought you were too poor to have a Brownie camera. You know, teddy bears made of carrots and spinning tops made of turnips.

**L:** We were, it was Laurence's camera. He had married the baker's daughter and the baker had taken a shine to him and wanted him to take over the bakery one day. So Laurence was up to his armpits in dough learning how to make bread and that sort of stuff. He was doing very well for himself. He even had a bun in the oven.

(Leo thinks he is hilarious and grins.)

**D:** Was his wife the well-endowed girl? (Dylan cups his hands in a belittling manner to all women.)

**J:** No extra commentary Miss Annakins.

**L:** You mean the girl with the big chest. (Leo mimics back as he is a sexist pig too.)

**J:** Stop it Anna. We don't want to go off on one of your tangents.

**L:** Yes, he was a very happy chappy (winks at Dylan even though Dylan can't see him. Idiot.)

**A:** Please stop objectifying this poor woman's body parts. You are disgusting me.

**D:** Yep she is disgusted. Look, her purple vein is pulsating in her temple. That is genuine Anna disgust.

**L:** And a look on her face like she has a pineapple up her bum.

**A:** You are very lucky I am such a stickler for accuracy. I am recording rude comments so future generations can see how pathetic and immature you two are!

**L:** Sorry Anna.

**J:** Back to the story Leo. For goodness sake, can you give a ghost a shot of Ritalin?

**L:** What was I saying?

**J:** Laurence and his ample chested wife allowed you to use their precious camera.

**A:** Why would he let you touch the camera? Would have cost a small fortune!

**L:** Kodak Folding Brownie Pocket No. 2 Model B.

**A:** You remembered that well.

**L:** Like it was yesterday.

(Dylan takes out his Smartphone and snaps a photo of Jacqui. He holds it up in the air for Leo to look at it. Then Dylan starts randomly snapping around the room.)

**D:** I'm paparazzi darlinks!

**L:** Magic, that is bloody ... what is the word again ... that is bloody awesome."

**J:** Please Leo, why did you take the pictures?

**L:** It was Daisy's sixteenth birthday.

**D:** Sweet sixteen and never been kissed.

**L:** Well umm hmm...

**A:** What are you trying to say?

**D:** Oh my gawd, do I detect a bhut blush, big boy?

**A:** Shut up Dylan.

**J:** Is that why the photograph is so intimate? She is looking at you, her secret boyfriend. Soooo romantic peeps.

**A:** How old were you?

**L:** I told you I was the same age as Daisy.

**D:** Did Daisy love you back?

**L:** Daisy loved me and I loved her. We were meant to be together.

**J:** Did Daisy love him back? What a silly question. She looks likes she adores you. She is practically smoldering into the lens.

**A:** Is that why Aggie looks so awkward?

**L:** She didn't want to be the third wheel any more. Even though Daisy and I tried to keep it a secret, Aggie knew. Sometimes she would even cover for us. I never understood why. I was always half expecting her to rat on us.

**D:** She loved her sister deeply just as I love my brother for I am not a RAT.

**A:** Dylan has almost had an insight into human nature... well done Dylan!

**D:** Don't sound so surprised, I love my brother. And he loves....

**J:** Shutup!

**L:** Aggie tried to squirm out of the photo as I pulled the lever. I took a second photo. The pair is smiling. Have you seen it? It's much nicer.

**A:** No.

**J:** Please Leo, back to the story.

**L:** It was Daisy's birthday and her graduation from St Joseph's. Laurence and Mavis (the booby wife) came to Daisy's graduation. She had passed all her exams with flying colours. Everyone was so proud she is able to go to the new University to study. Mary Ellen and the Old Man were proud as punch. Fairly bursting with joy. Not many girls go you know.

**A:** They do now. Girl Power. YES!

**L** : Except by then there is a war on.

NEW LIFE

Natalie knocks at the door and whispers loudly, "I am sorry to interrupt your life story Leo, I'm sure you are very entertaining but Beth's waters have just popped. She is sitting in a sea of amniotic fluid in the kitchen and is slightly hysterical. In fact, I'm slightly hysterical too. I might need to whisk my level headed daughter Anna off you for an hour or seven." Natalie's face is blotchy with excitement. She is walking around in circles giving terse instructions to no one in particular.

Anna and Jacqui whizz passed her into the kitchen. "See you next time Leo," calls Anna over her shoulder.

" _Chou Leo," squeaks Jacqui excitedly._

Dylan jumps up and slaps his hands on his cheeks and does a little jig.

" _Quickly, boil the kettle, find the white towels. Man the horses, roll up your sleeves," he pauses, "what else must be done."_

Dylan is now walking around in circles. He continues circling like a battery charged bunny in concentric rings.

" _Oh my God, I wonder what the baby will be. If it's a girl I think Ava is a gorgeous name. If it's a boy I think Ron is very striking and masculine. My grandfather adopted it as his new name as his fellow teachers and students had difficulty in pronouncing Ranabir Roychowdhury when he moved to Australia. Really, University students can be culturally challenged." Dylan is ranting._

" _Not that they should name the baby after my grandfather, he is not their grandfather. But, well we have all been very good friends for years and I would be touched and honoured if they named the baby after Ron Ray." He pauses, a flash of brilliance pops in his brain._

" _Actually, why not use the name Dylan. I would make the perfect mentor." His eyes glaze over as he sees himself in his mind's eye patting little Dylan junior on the back as he graduates from Oxford._ _"Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness and others have greatness thrust upon them._ _We bear the heavy load of all three." The funk from Leo permeates this daydream._

Dylan starts to wheeze, "I'm talking to a ghost, Beth has popped her baby valve in the kitchen and I'm about to hyperventilate. Good, good everything seems normal and accounted for." He panics. He doesn't want to be alone with Leo but what lies outside the green room smacks of hard-core reality, not his strong point. He hovers and paces, he decides he could shut his eyes and run out the front door. Then Beth starts wailing for Blake and Pethidine. Loudly. Dylan is stuck. Thoughts of his Grandfather's stroke crowd his very busy brain. He is fixed to the spot.

" _Blake, I am sorry I doubted you, please forgive me. Get Blake. I want Blake. I want drugs NOW."_

Jacqui runs to the door and lets Blake in. He lurches forward and stumbles through the hallway and into the kitchen, tripping on his Birkenstocks. Beth moves from the chair onto the floor, curls up and goes quiet. A pool of bright red blood seeps into her dress and spills out onto the floor.

" _BLOOD, SHE IS BLEEDING. It's all happening too fast," cries Natalie, still walking in circles._

" _It's the placenta problem," shouts Blake._

He crouches by her and lovingly strokes her dark hair. She grips his hands tightly. Beth's eyes are squeezed shut.

Anna steps over Beth's prostrate figure and reaches for the phone. "I'm calling an ambulance and Jacqui, you call the hospital."

" _Right away Annakins." Jacqui feels the fog descending again. Her hands shake and she can't seem to put the right numbers in. She can hear Anna in the background, giving orders to emergency services. She breathes deeply and tries to hear Nina's mantra in her head. She breathes again and finally makes contact with the maternity wing. She relays all the relevant information to the midwife. By the time her call is finished, the ambulance officers are banging on the door._

Leo and Dylan stand in the doorway. Leo wants Dylan to stop talking. He picks up a pen and in very large wobbly childlike writing forms the word 'GERL.'

Dylan freezes and reaches for his puffer, he sucks down hard. "G E R L," he repeats. "What is a G E R L? Is it a type of military weapon ... G—German, E—Eradication, R— Rifle and L for, L for what? League? Ummm? What are you trying to say?"

Leo is exhausted with the energy spent on recounting his early life and writing one word. He is fading fast.

' _GERL' he writes again and shakes the paper to make the point. He doesn't know how to make his point clear._

' _GERL' he writes again. The pen shakes furiously. It is nearly time for the box and the cold earth._

He draws a stick picture of a girl with curly hair and ribbons. "The baby is a girl, you buffoon," shouts Leo.

" _Spiral perms Leo?" exclaims Dylan. "Frankly, I am disappointed you want to talk about vintage hair when the Bethy cow is birthing in the kitchen."_

" _Shut up Dylan," is all he can manage as a fond farewell._

Leo is truly spent with his exceptional effort and starts to dissolve away.

The ambulance siren screams loudly on the front lawn and then eventually fades away too. Natalie, Blake and Anna follow in the car. Jacqui waves to the departing vehicles from the side of the road. She feels cold and wraps her arms around herself. The weather is changing. She turns and spies Dylan chatting to himself in the front window. She walks back inside the house and inhales the smell of coffee and vegetable soup. The fireplace has burnt out into filthy flyaway ash.

" _Come on, my big brave lad, let's go to yours." She holds out her hand and Dylan gratefully grabs it._
CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Unplugged

Natalie was so tired she could hardly get the key into the front door lock. Anxiously, she wriggled it into place with her mind on slipping into her slippers.

"Milo?" She asked Anna and Kev as they staggered down the hallway.

"Nah," replied Kevin. "How about that bottle of French Champagne we promised we would open for a special occasion."

"I think the birth of our first grandchild is the perfect occasion," replied Natalie as she kicked off her shoes. She placed her hand in Kevin's and he kissed it tenderly and they continued into the kitchen, exhausted yet euphoric.

Anna opened the green room door knowing it was empty of its spirited visitor.

She opened the buffet door to reveal the plasma television. The late night news was on. Another young Australian soldier had been killed in Afghanistan. Leo's war seemed so far away, like outer space but war was real and it was here in her dining room, in her life. She looked at the handsome young face as she held the television remote in her hand. She paused and said goodbye quietly then flicked the channels quickly, frustrated by what she saw. _Sport, more sport, bikini clad girls selling fishing rods._ "Sickening," she muttered to herself.

She stopped at an old movie. Anna didn't like old-fashioned black and white romances but she needed something to take her mind off the baby's traumatic birth. She couldn't sleep although she was tired. She tried to block the image of Blake's hysterical face as he was sent out of the Emergency operating theatre. Her arms were numb and her legs felt heavy. She settled down on the chaise. The baby was tiny and pink and smelled really good. Anna felt a sudden rush of love for her new family member.

Audrey Hepburn was looking fabulous as she peeked up into Cary Grant's eyes, full of love and admiration. _Was that Paris in the background?_

"How predictable," she groaned, but became entranced and unable to change the channel. She watched the duo, enchanted by their easy witty banter.

A hint of stinky smoke wafted past her. "Hi Leo," she said, without turning around.

"What is this machine then, it's wondersome," said a renewed Leo, looking over her shoulder.

"It's awesome, not wondersome Leo," she replied, without taking her eyes off Cary Grant.

"Whatever," shrugged Leo.

"Whatever? You sound like Dylan." Anna giggled and looked over her shoulder to see a grinning Leo.

"How's your sister and the baby?"

"They are fine... now."

"Now?"

Anna didn't respond. Leo noticed she looked pale and let her be. A few moments later he added cheekily, "She had a little girl, didn't she?"

"Lucky guess." A smile crept across her mouth.

Leo stepped forward and examined the plasma. "What is this AWESOME thingy called," he asked pointedly.

"Television."

She flicked rapidly through the channels creating a blur out of the dead soldier's face, footballers, celebrity chefs, aliens, cops and lovers.

She blushed at the last image.

"I can do that, make pictures that move," he said.

"What can you do?" She snapped. "You can make 'television'?" she sniped back.

"Yes... I tried it with Agnes a couple of times but it only made her cry... and faint... I reckon I should have asked her first."

"Poor Agnes," she sighed and went back to watching Audrey bat her perfect eyelashes.

Suddenly she felt her heart pounding with even greater vibration. She looked up and Leo was right next to her. He took her hand and looked into her eyes, "Do you mind?" Leo asked gently.

The room began to fall away although she could still feel her bum on the couch. She clung to the chaise with her free hand. She was no longer looking at the TV. She was no longer in the green room.

It is dark, very dark and quiet. "I'm scared Leo," she says feeling out of control.

" _Don't be scared, you're only in my mind... the remnants of my brain."_

" _Now I am terrified... why is it so dark?"_

" _Because we are hiding under the table."_

" _Our table?"_

" _It's not your table. It's the McNamara's. Now shoosh, from now on it will take all my strength to make this for you. I need silence," he whispers imperiously like a travelling magician._

" _Yes sir!" Anna wanted to salute but was too afraid to let go of the couch fearing she might sail away like an abandoned helium balloon._

" _Why are we—?"_

" _I said SHOOSH!" he replies angrily. Anna silently clutches the chaise._

Suddenly, a tiny glint of light illuminates a beautiful face next to her. It is Daisy in full technicolour. Her face is softly lit as she pulls up the tablecloth gently. The light falls from a gas lamp burning low in a kitchen. The house is quiet. Daisy smiles at Anna, but says Leo's name. Anna truly is inside Leo's memory.

Daisy puts a finger to her lips and looks lovingly into Leo's eyes. It disconcerts Anna.

" _The Old Man is coming, hush."_

Anna can see that the Old Man is not that old. He is no more than forty-five. His dark hair has swirls of grey emerging up from his side burns. His features are sharp like a surprised elf. Standing in his britches, he watches the kettle boil as he scratches his chest.

A woman's voice floats down the hallway. "Edward, Edward... I've got a cramp, something terrible. Come and rub me legs with me ointment. It so painful I'm fit to burst. And me corns need a seeing to as well... Ahh how I wish the Lord would take me in the night."

The Old Man grimaces, swigs his teacup. He adds some brandy to it and gulps it down.

" _Edward?" Mary Ellen's tone is sweet and low._

His sharp eyebrows shoot up, "Coming Mary Dear," he says hastily.

He extinguishes the flame and is gone. After a moment or two, the room is bathed in moonlight.

Leo peers out from under the table. He looks blindly through a young child standing by the cooking hob.

" _It's clear now. I'll be off home."_

You idiot, the coast isn't clear thinks Anna. She can see the little tot with her hand over her mouth, laughing. She is in her nightdress.

Leo whispers to Daisy that he has to stand up soon. His leg is dead with pins and needles. He will have to call the Old Man to rub him down as well.

Anna feels a whack on the back of her head.

" _Don't you dare be disrespectful to my parents, you cheeky sod," giggles Daisy._

Leo climbs out and stretches, Anna goes to shout as he walks right through the child. She realises the child must be Gladys' ghost.

Gladys disappears.

Books, paper and pencils cover the tablecloth.

" _What will I do with these?" Daisy is clutching a posy of roses, myrtle and jasmine wrapped in brown paper._

" _Stolen, I suppose?" she eyes Leo mischievously._

" _Hard to break an old habit." Anna feels Leo chuckle softly._

Daisy crawls out on her hands and knees. Leo is looking at her bum and it's making Anna very uncomfortable but she can't look away until Leo does.

" _That was a close call." A pencil holds Daisy's dark hair up in a bun._

" _Well I had to see you. You have been locked up here studying with only books for company. It's enough to drive you stark raving mad." Leo picks up one of the books and holds it close to his face. Anna reads the words, 'The Complete Works of William Shakespeare'._

Leo puts the book back down and sighs.

" _I have not been locked up!" Daisy whispers back ferociously, "I like learning new things and I like books. I want to do well in my exams."_

Daisy moves to the back door on tippy toes and noiselessly opens the door for Leo.

Anna feels Leo hesitate. There is a strange feeling she has not experienced before happening inside of Leo. "Oh my God, he is going to kiss her," she realises. She watches Daisy's pretty face get closer and closer. Her lips are puckered. Anna feels Leo's hand move to the curve in the small of Daisy's back.

Agnes appears out of nowhere. Her long hair is tightly plaited and her white nightie is buttoned up to her chin. "What in heaven's name are you two doing?" she says in a clenched whisper. Gladys stands timidly behind Agnes and peeks out. Anna can tell she is regretting spilling the beans on Daisy.

" _Leo brought me some flowers. He was just going now... I can smell cake... thank you so much for that." Daisy forces out a smile—suddenly Gladys vanishes._

Anna feels the strange yet pleasant sensations evaporate. It is replaced by feelings she knows too well. Jealousy and resentment flood his body.

Daisy shoves Leo out the door. She pecks him self-consciously on the cheek and whispers goodnight. "Remember... Forever." Her big brown eyes look longingly at him. She winks and pulls the pencil out of her hair bun. Dark waves cascade down her shoulders. It glints in the moonlight. Leo is breathless.

Anna quickly pulled out of the memory. She let go of the couch and sat on the floor with her head between her knees.

"That was Epic! That was AWESOMITY Leo!"

"Told ya I could make moving pictures."

"I believe you," panted Anna. She found herself thinking of Deepak's big brown eyes and warm smile and broke into a tingly blush.

"I got others, I got plenty of memories."

"Like what? How about where your body is?"

Leo looked embarrassed. "I can't remember that, remember? The closer I get to dying, the less I remember."

Anna sighed, "We really are trying to find out, we want to help you."

An awkward silence settled over them and left them both staring at the television set. Cary Grant had whipped Audrey off into the sunset and now the commercials blared loudly at them. Images of cut price international flights to holiday destinations zoomed past their eyes.

Leo caught sight of the Pyramids in Egypt. "I have been there, how about one of those memories."

"Okay, Leo Unplugged and Live from the green room," said Anna shakily. Her heart was starting to hurt and she felt dizzy.

"I'm staying on the floor this time. If East Perth made me dizzy then Egypt is going to flatten me." Leo sat down next to her and grabbed both hands. She felt his warm aura envelop her. She closed her eyes in anticipation, ready for the heady spectacles of the Great Pyramids and Egypt.

She opens them expecting a panoramic view of a lush Nile river only to be staring into a dusty training ring. Les cuts a fine figure in his uniform as he puts his horse through its paces. Anna and Leo watch with pride. He is graceful and totally in command of his animal. He dismounts with ease and gives a little self-deprecating shrug as his fellow soldiers clap and cheer for him. Les pats the horse and whispers into its ear. It nuzzles him fondly.

" _Settle down," barks the Sergeant in charge with an inside smile._

" _Who is that bloke?" whispers a man to Leo. He has short red hair and freckles across his nose. He is taller than Leo. Leo and Anna are looking up at him. He has long gangly limbs and his uniform fits awkwardly._

" _Was his mother a mare?" he asks to no one in particular._

" _No, she is a cow," replies Leo quickly. "His name is Les McNamara and he is my mate."_

The man tries to contain his laughter, "That's a good one fella." He slaps Leo on the back. Anna is glad she is sitting on the floor as she flinches and falls forward.

" _My name is Patrick, but you can call me Pat."_

" _Hello Pat. My name is Leopold but you can call me Leo."_

" _Comedian hey?" laughs Pat. His eyebrows rise and wiggle independently of each other._

" _Don't expect anything like that from me." Pat holds up his hands. "These are the hands of a musician." He says with mock pomposity. Anna looks at the longest fingers she has ever seen. "We play around all the Perth dance halls and clubs. We always get the Red Cross Balls," he said proudly. "Ever seen me?"_

" _No, but Les might have. He loves to dance."_

" _I just hope I can hold on and don't fall off."_

" _Your turn Private Prendergast," says the Sergeant sharply to Pat._

Patrick manages the course with the finesse of a rodeo clown. The line erupts with laughter and good will as he dismounts with his boot caught in the stirrup, leaving him dangling face down in the dirt.

" _Thank God you are the last in the line," says the Sergeant as he wipes the sweat from his forehead. "I don't know how you have managed to keep alive."_

An older man who is addressed as Captain speaks to the soldiers with the sweating Sergeant at his side.

" _As you lot have proven, the mounted regiments do a solid job of keeping Egypt under the control of the British Empire." The crowd breaks into a hurrah. "We have managed and will continue to keep those ruddy Turks and Arabs at bay. We have struck a line in the desert lads. However, as you are well aware, the fight for the Western Front continues on. Some of you chaps will be mobilized to Europe where you will sweep through and crush the stalemate at the Front Line. On the strength of your performance today, we will be splitting you up into new divisions. Some of you will stay here in the Light Horse and some of you will be sent to France to fight in the trenches. We will show those damn Fritz what Australian lads are capable of."_

A surge of patriotism ripples through the group as they think of their homes. Anna can feel Leo's anxiety levels rise.

The Sergeant lists countless names. Anna finds it boring but has to counter Leo's panicking adrenalin levels. She is bored yet freaked out of her mind but manages to pick up three names.

_Leslie McNamara - 10_ th _Light Horse Brigade_

Leopold Nolan - 14th Artillery

_Patrick Prendergast - 14_ th _Artillery._

Pat turns and smiles and makes a rubbery face at Leo.

The list drones on and on.

Anna feels Leo's panic escalate. Anna sees Les looking across the line. Les looks at him and discreetly makes a calm down motion with one hand.

" _Shipping out on the Twelfth of June."_

" _So soon," she feels Leo whisper._

" _Yeah mate, those ruddy krauts wont kill 'emselves." Pat looks at his fingers again._

" _Ahh, much better put to use on a Howitzer than a pair of reins," he says happily as he rubs the remaining dirt off his face. "Hope we don't have to give back the leather puttees though. The other ones look like the bandages off one of those mummies in there." He points to the looming back drop of the Great Pyramids._

Leo glances at the pyramids quickly. He is not interested. Anna catches a tiny glimpse before Leo turns back to Les. Les is talking to the Sergeant in charge. The Sergeant shakes his head vigorously and Anna hears the words, "Final decision... no discussion entered into —" carried on the stirring afternoon breeze.

Les turns and nods imperceptibly in Leo's direction, the Sergeant's eyes widen. He looks in the direction of Leo. Les reaches into his pocket and pulls out a packet of smokes and places it discreetly into the Officer's hand as they shake.

Les strides over to Leo, "Hey little mate," says Les looking up at Leo. "Looks like there was a bit of a mix up with the list. I'm coming to France with you boys. Always wanted to see the Eiffel tower and eat some frog legs. He starts singing 'Mademoiselle from Armentieres' off key.

" _Don't give up your day job soldier," mocks Prendergast. He invites himself along as he introduces himself to Les._

" _But Les?" Anna feels his relief pouring through her._

" _But what?"_

" _You love horses. You're the best by a long shot."_

Les shrugs, "Just lucky today mate, that's all. I'm nothing special."

They take the horses back to the stables. They watch a young rider trying to control his bucking horse. He ends up on this bum in the mucky stable straw.

Les grabs the reins just as the horse's hooves are about to trample the man. He shouts something to the horse in a curious Irish accent. The horse understands and is subdued. The man stands up and wipes the hay off his trousers and puts out his hand nervously.

" _Thank you, we only have one horse on our farm and she was born before me."_

" _No worries mate, you're a bag of nerves around the horses. You gotta relax or you will really come a cropper."_

" _Doesn't matter any more I'm off to France," the soldier replies tensely._

" _Hope you don't get bucked off a Lewis Gun then we will all be in trouble," laughs Pat as he extends his hand._

The man shyly smiles, "My name is Bill Sadleir."

" _Well Bill," says Les, "Would you like to come and take a squizz at the Pyramids with us?"_

" _Yes, thank you." His smile turns into a grin and pats his face with a handkerchief and neatly tucks his shirt into his pants. Anna can see he has a tiny notebook in his pocket._

" _What is that?" ask Leo._

" _Oh nothing, just my doodling pad."_

" _Give us a look?"_

Leo takes the book and flicks through it.

" _Hey Les, take a gander at this."_

Les examines the drawings. "They are top notch."

Anna sees exquisite pencilled images of crocodiles, cobras and a cat like fox.

The pad is passed to Pat, "You're very talented Bill," he says full of admiration. But have you ever drawn a naked lady?" asks Pat in mock seriousness.

" _Yes," laughs Bill out loud. Pat slaps Bill on the back and the men move forward._

" _Pigs," groans Anna._

Leo walks on. They pass camel after camel. A soldier with a kangaroo overtakes them. The group cheer.

" _At last," whispers Anna, as the Great Pyramids tower in front of her._

The next thing Anna felt was Leo releasing her from his grip. He stood back from her and looked down with concern.

"What is going on? I was about to visit the Pharaoh and now I'm back here with you." She lay down flat on the cold floorboards. She felt weak and shaky. She pressed her cheek hard into the timber, hoping its coolness would keep her conscious.

"It's too much for you Anna, you're the colour of chalk. You look like you have seen a ghost," he smiled feebly. "We will make more moving pictures another time."

Anna breathed deeply and nodded. She opened her eyes.

"A kangaroo?"

"Long story... some kind of mascot," grinned Leo.

Anna drifted into sleep. Leo placed the quilt over her body and wished her sweet dreams. He looked down at his hands and arms and found them fading before his eyes. He needed to return once again.

"Leo?"

"Yes?"

"I like Les."

Chapter SIXTEEN

Rapping and Reliving

"Ready to start another interview?" asked Dylan, as he dramatically sharpened his prop pencil to a deathly point.

The four of them were seated around the table.

"You fit into our little posse Leo," flirted Jacqui. "You bring a certain —"

"Smell?" said Dylan helpfully.

"No, you bring a certain warmth and cheekiness."

"You're like our main man brudda, De Leosta De Gangsta."

"Yo, Yo Yo Yo Mudda—"

"DYLAN!"

"Me and my biatches—"

"DYLAN!" screamed Anna. _A note to self, resend the email on misogyny in music._

Dylan swiped Anna's pencil case to use as his microphone. His rap warm up included a small dance routine, which made him look like an epileptic praying mantis.

" _Me and my home gals were chillin' and stuff_

_Coz Anna and me_ _we had had enuff_

Nuff nuff nuff nuffity nuff!

Jacs jumps up and says, 'Let's wake the dead.'

I say coo', let's melt some cheese and fry some bread.

So we all hold hands and it gets a little freaky

And when we let go, the room's a little funky

' _Hi,' says Leo, 'I'm a little lost and confused_

I smell real bad and it's not Anna's shoes.

Shoesshshshshoesshshshoesshoes..."

"STOP RAPPING DYLAN. STOP LAUGHING JACQUI, YOU TOO LEO."

"Let's get on with it! What I want to know," said Anna briskly, as she kicked her sneakers under the table, "is how a sixteen year old boy is allowed to sign up for a war in another country? What about your mother? What about your schooling?" _Always, ALWAYS wear odour eaters with these sneakers_.

"I was nearly seventeen, long finished with learning and books and I planned to have three fifths of my wages sent to my Ma. Anyways, she was going to be better off," replied Leo.

"She would have qualified for a war pension too, later... after ... your untimely demise," Jacqui petered out, hoping she hadn't hurt Leo's feelings.

"Ka Ka Ka Ka Kaboomba," laughed Dylan. Anna grimaced.

"Did you ask her if you could join? Did you discuss it with her at all?

"No."

"Didn't you have to show any ID?"

"What is ID?"

"Identification, like a birth certificate or a passport."

"No."

"Outrageous!"

"Did she have to sign a form? I am sure there is a signature required on the Attestment papers."

"Not for a fellow like me. I was twenty two and sadly orphaned at the age of six." He made very sad puppy dog eyes and then winked slyly.

"How old were you really?"

"Sixteen and three quarters."

"That is my age," said Dylan.

"I went along to keep Les company the first time he applied for the AIF but they didn't accept him. He didn't make it past the medical. He was a bit of a bantam— he was a skinny lanky fellow with not much meat on the bones but he was as strong as an ox. Anyways, he failed the height test by three quarters of an inch. He was as mad as a cut snake. Really embarrassed."

"Les failed the height test first time around." Anna echoed the conversation to the others.

"Hurry up and start typing Annakins, I feel like a blind person at a convention for the deaf."

"What happened? Did he have a growth spurt at twenty two?" sniped Dylan.

"No, tell the idiot, Gallipoli happened. Johnny Turk blew us to kingdom come. The AIF needed more troops so they made the requirements less strict. Daisy would read to us all about the war effort from the newspaper each day. We went back a few months later and this time I was not there for support. I wanted to join. I needed a better job than mucking out horse shit."

"Leo wanted to join the second time he went with Les," repeated Anna.

Dylan sighed, "I bet if the Third AIF was raised right now, Deepak would be the first to enlist, just to show how patriotic and dinky di a Hindu born in Kolkata, West Bengal India can be. He sighed again, "You know how he always has the Aussie flag hanging out of his car on Australia day... and he wears those ridiculous Aussie flag thongs and boardies all day. And the green and gold zinc." Dylan shuddered. "Talk about overcompensating. On ya, m-a-t-e, on ya."

"You, of course, would be a conscientious objector," said Jacqui.

"Of course doll face, someone has to appeal to humanity. And I do have so many blogs and tweets I write, protest would be a natural progression for me. I'm sure I could write dreary poetry as well as Wilfred Owen."

"Why do you take the piss out of Deepak? He's not the one who changed his name to sound less Indian."

Dylan's eyes dropped with humiliation.

"Let us settle down ladies," soothed Jacqui. Her fingers were working hard on the touch screen to acquire information and to keep these two in check.

"There was enormous pressure on young males to go to war. Although a referendum on conscription failed twice, pressure was placed on young men in other ways by 'the powers that be.' It was the big issue of the day."

"'Powers that be,' you sound like Anna, the conspiracy theory of world domination," sulked Dylan and looked at Anna, willing her not to lurch into fav diatribe. But she was totally engrossed by an old digital newspaper. Jacqui and Dylan breathed out relieved.

"No, just the usual suspects—you know... government, big business, the wealthy and the landed gentry. A war recruitment committee was set up and the idea was to send every man to the Front. Big stores like Boans and Foy and Gibson were asked to encourage every male worker to enlist. Here is part of a fun little advert I found. It's a series of shaming questions," Jacqui cleared her throat and put on her plumy voice.

' _Do you feel quite happy as you walk along the streets and see OTHER Men wearing the King's Uniform?'_

' _What will you answer when your children grow up and say, "Father! Why weren't you a soldier too?'_

"I'd say to the young brat, we wouldn't be having this conversation, dear little one if I had've gone to the war. I'd be dead or maimed." Dylan stroked his purple pointy hair and anxiously readjusted his chums. "The rudeness!"

"Can you imagine how it would it feel to be handed a white feather?" said Jacqui.

"To be worn on a hat?" asked Dylan as he continued to touch his sculptured tower. "I can't do hats at the mo."

"No, given as a sign of cowardice," replied Anna curtly. Dylan's face fell again and Leo's looked agitated.

Dylan went on to ask why Leo had given up on scooping up dung? Was it possibly to do with having a German first name and relatives in the mutter land or had some doll given him the white feather. Anna laid a firm hand on his arm and shushed him. Leo's eyes look preoccupied. He had already entered 1915 and Anna lagged helplessly behind.

INTERVIEW RECOMMENCED AT 0900HRS 3/5/13

PART TWO OF PRIVATE NOLAN INVESTIGATION.

**L:** I am tall, tall for my age and quite big built. And I suppose I am all right looking.

**D:** Anna thinks so.

**A** : Shut up Dylan. You are very lucky I am so dedicated to accuracy and non-violence.

**L:** As soon as Les was herded off for his medical I slipped into the queue. Les would go spare if he knew I was joining. When it was my turn, the enrolling officer looks at me hard. He knows I'm only young. He knows I'm underage. He goes to dismiss me as a time waster. "Please sir, please." I am desperate to join. I don't know what I will do if he rejects me. He looks at me again, "Name," he says sharply. And I know I am in, I know he is turning a blind eye. He watches me sign my papers with a slow scribbly hand. I see his eyes flicker with doubt. Perhaps he has made a mistake. I stand up straight and tell him I can ride a horse. I remember Les saying it first time round. I see his eyes light up. He says, "You are a brave lad, son," and sends me off to the medical examination room. I see Les coming down the hall. I slip off to the side. He walks straight past me. He is elated. He has passed the medical. I watch him go all the way outside and through the dirty window, I see him do a back flip for joy. He turns and turns again. He is looking for me. I smile. I know I will be joining him too. The hard part is done.

**J** : (Jacqui reads out from the digital archives) 25th of October 1915.

**L:** Yes, yes... that's the date.

I catch up with Les and congratulate him. He is over the moon with excitement. We make our way from Francis Street in town, back to Brown Street. We walk down the lane way to the McNamara's back yard and find Dan sitting on the steps. He is holding a white feather in his hand and is shaking with rage. Someone has put it in an envelope addressed to him and stuck it under the front mat. Dan doesn't want to go to war. He doesn't listen to Daisy's daily updates. He wants to go to Kalgoorlie and find some gold and make some bloody money. He says he is tired of being dirt poor. He is tired of the horses and the smell of manure everywhere. He is leaving next week and he is tired of the bloody lot of us.

I slink home. Dan still doesn't really like me. He gets jealous that Les and I are mates. None of this matters any more because I am out of here too. We will head to Guildford for training soon and then we will be shipped out. I will keep clear of Les and the whole lot of them until then. Les will get the surprise of his life seeing me in his regiment. It will be too late for him to stop me then.

**A:** Are you okay?? You have gone from recounting to reliving. It's like you are here but not here. You're in 1915!

**L:** What?

A: You seem weird, are you all right? What about Daisy? Did she know? What did she have to say about it all?

**L:** What?

**A:** Daisy the love of your life, remember her?

**L:** Daisy knew and understood.

**A:** So what happens when you and Les meet up?

**L:** He punches me in the head.

**A:** Of course he does. (WTF!)

**A:** Why?

**L:** Leo shrugs.

(Leo stands up and goes back to the wall; he touches the images of Daisy and of Les.)

INTERVIEW PAUSED

"Can't you get them, can't you tell them how sorry I am. Please Anna, please?

"I don't know if I can. Mum couldn't—"

"You are more powerful, she is scared of her gift and never gives herself over to it. She always blocks it. It feels like she has a damp towel over her head."

"To stay sane, Leo Dearest. To stay sane," said Natalie, standing silently in the doorway.

"Sorry," whispered Leo bleakly as he watched his lower body fade away.
DEATH (AGAIN)

Natalie is leaning against the doorframe, listening to Leo and Anna. She has a baby bottle in one hand and a towelling nappy over her shoulder.

" _I am so ashamed Leo, I— "_

There is a loud urgent rapping at the door. She wipes her hands on her apron as she walks down the hall.

She returns with a dishevelled Deepak. He looks at Dylan, who jumps up and knocks the tablet off the table, scattering documents and transcripts everywhere. Anna, Nat and Jacqui follow him outside.

" _Dadu?"_

" _Yes mate, let's go."_

Nina stands on the front verandah. Dylan rushes into her arms. "Dylan, my darling. Prepare yourself my sweet, Grandfather is leaving us very soon." Her eyes fill with tears.

" _But how can that be, how can that be? On Tuesday I read to him, 'The Devil Wears Prada' and he laughed out loud. How can this be? He was fine."_

" _He has had another massive stroke and it's very bad. He has lost consciousness."_

Dylan catches sight of his father in the front seat of the Sportivo. He is blubbing like a baby. His huge frame is shaking as he struggles to keep the wave of regret and pain insidw but large broken sobs find their way out. Dylan runs down the steps and opens the car door. He hugs Arun's belly and Arun cradles his son's head.

" _Let's go guys, get in the car Dyl. Come on Mum, we gotta hurry," Deepak chucks the car into reverse and speeds down the driveway. He hits the brakes suddenly. Dylan jumps out and shouts, "Come with us Anna, we need you!!"_

" _What! What are you talking about? You don't need me. What do you need me for?"_

" _Dad has something he needs to tell Dadu."_

He has only been living with him for eight years, thinks Anna. "I can't promise anything Dylan." She remembers the anti climax of Aunty Agnes' death and thinks about Leo's request.

" _Please get in," cries Dylan, as he swings open the car door for her._

Arun motions her with his hand to get into the car. She squeezes into the backseat with Nina and Dylan and they speed off to the nursing home.

Anna watches Arun's shoulders lift and twitch as he strains to keep his grief inside his enormous body.

She sits on a vinyl couch in the foyer of the nursing home and waits for the family. Air freshener fails to mask urine and disinfectant. Fake plastic plants fail to give a homely look. A large competent nurse swishes past Anna. Her white stockings crackle and the air is charged like a poised defibrillator. One old man is pacing up and down the foyer in a state of agitation. He keeps asking her if she has any cigarettes.

" _Got a ciggie on you, love?"_

" _No, sorry."_

He turns the corner and shuffles back to her.

" _Could you spare us a fag?"_

" _I'm sorry sir, I don't smoke."_

He turns the corner again and shuffles back to her.

" _I've run out of smokes."_

" _I'm sorry sir, I don't smoke."_

The nurse on the reception desk takes the poor old fellow by the elbow and leads him back to the communal room. No doubt for communal fun thinks Anna grimly. Somewhere in the distance she can hear a woman singing, 'Knees up Mother Brown.'

The heater is stifling and she begins to feel breathless. She looks up and notices a teenage boy sitting next to her. He is smiling inanely at her. He is deliriously, annoyingly happy and he won't stop looking at her. She picks up a well-thumbed sports magazine and feigns interest in fly-fishing but it is really difficult to block him out.

" _Excuse me."_

She peers over her magazine and expects to see Dylan standing in front of her.

It is the boy sitting next to her talking. He is in her personal space and smells like Garam Marsala and old newspapers. Anna attempts to stand up and go outside. She feels hot and her chest hurts like crazy.

" _What are you so happy about turd?" she says under her breath._

" _I just died and what a wondrous feeling it was Anna."_

The boy is staring right at her and grinning wildly like he has pulled off the joke of the century. Right before her eyes, he grows dark bushy sculptured sideburns and then a magnificent moustache. Then his hair recedes and rapidly thins all over. It changes from silky black to peppery grey to shiny bald. His skin becomes papery thin and clean-shaven. His mouth is slack and atrophied and his eyes are blind. It is Dadu.

Her mouth opens in surprise.

" _You're as cheeky as Dylan, Mr. Ray!"_

" _Or is he as cheeky as I?"_

" _You seem remarkably chipper for a recently deceased person."_

" _Well I'm free of my mortal coil. It was getting a little rusty and useless."_

" _You're not looking for a new one are you?"_

" _I will know my karma soon. If I see the sun, I follow it and need not return again. If I see the moon I must follow its path to another body."_

" _Okay," says Anna dubiously._

" _My destiny will be revealed soon but I can't leave knowing Arun is so terribly upset."_

" _I don't get that. You never spoke to each other but he seems really upset."_

" _He is a very emotional and loving boy. He is just fat and lazy."_

" _That's a bit rude, no wonder he gave you the silent treatment for eight years."_

" _Yes that is true, he hasn't spoken to me in nearly a decade. However, he let me live with his family, board free and I was cared for by his own dear Nina, a most excellent cook. Actions speak louder than words, dearest... we almost smoothed out our differences before my stroke... except for one or two things." He sighed wistfully._

" _Why do you think he needs to speak to you now?"_

" _Oh no my dear girl, it is I who must speak to him."_

A very distraught and hunched Deepak walks out of a curtained room. He is looking for the nurse in charge. He sees Anna sitting down.

" _Dadu is sitting right next to me. Go and get your father." Deepak straightens up and puts his finger through Dadu's eye and runs off to get Arun._

The old fellow has slipped out of the communal room and is in search again of the elusive cigarette.

" _Hello Ron, got a smoke on ya?"_

" _No, my good man, I quit in 1992."_

" _Good for you mate! By the way, you don't happen to have a cigarette on you?" He feels his dressing gown pockets and shuffles off. He coughs breathlessly. The nurse guides him back to his room to reconnect with his oxygen bottle._

There are others like Mum and me thinks Anna.

Arun walks slowly down the corridor and into the foyer.

Ron's playful mood vanishes and he stands up and approaches his son.

He turns to Anna and frantically asks her to tell Arun that he is sorry, so very sorry.

" _Toder anek kashto dieychhi, I caused you a lot of trouble._

Anek Anaya korechi, I've done so much wrong.

Amar jaya toder samman nostho loyechhe, I've brought to you dishonour.

Amake khashma koris, please forgive me."

Arun looks lovingly at Nina who nods encouragingly.

" _Ar O katha bolo na. Don't say that anymore."_

Ron is elated. He twirls Anna around, pinches Dylan on the cheek, slaps Deepak on the back, kisses Nina on the nose and throws his skinny spectral arms around Arun's thick neck. "I feel lighter," says Arun, blinking slowly.

Ron turns to the glass doors and deflates. "It is the moon again! What a darn nuisance, yet another lifetime. 'Oh God, That one might read the book of fate,' that is Shakespeare you know," he winks at Anna.

" _Yes I know and you are ruining a perfectly good death with your theatrics."_

Does Dylan have any material of his own she wonders?

Chastened, Ranabir Roychowdhury bows humbly at Anna and then vanishes.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chasing the Twister

"Why didn't you tell me before, she had gone back to South Africa. SERIOUSLY, what is wrong with that woman," raged Anna.

"Excuse me, sweetheart but that woman is my mother and I will thank you to remember that," Jacqui spat back and then ran out of steam. Instead she paid soliticious attention to the first coat of nail polish she was applying to her toes.

"I know, I know. I'm just so angry with the pair of you. I'm angry with Corinne for pissing off on you and with you... for not telling me about it. We are meant to be best friends. You know you don't like being alone. You know you get the heebeegeebees. I bet you haven't slept properly for weeks!" shouted Anna in her smotherly motherly tone that irked Jacqui. The tiny brush wobbled in her hand.

"I know all that, I just lost my way... It was so soon after... the divorce."

Anna and Jacqui were sitting on Anna's bed. Anna's room was directly opposite the 'green room'. Leo stood in the doorway, smoking a ciggie lost in thought. Smoke billowed across into Anna's room and she waved her arms around in a motion of protest. Jacqui had been invited by Nina and Natalie to split her time between Anna and Dylan's. Nina and Natalie kept her secret. The occasional night here and there turned into a conspicuously longer stay and she knew she was getting on Anna's nerves.

And now the cat was out of the bag. Dylan had been the one to work out something was seriously wrong and Jacqui, relieved to unburden the secret, had cried noisily into Dylan's arms after Professor Roychowdhury's funeral.

She had started off with the Roychowdhury family, giving the Grey's space as they had welcomed Bubba. Since Thaku dadu's death she had moved in with Anna. Anna presumed from Jacqui's silence and Corinne's absence that Corinne was in a mental hospital after suffering one of those breakdowns highly artistic people were susceptible to. She had seen it coming months ago. But nobody listened to her.

Anna's room was painted a stark white. There were no photographs on the wall or heavy dark furniture. There was not a hint of sentimentality. Instead, there was a peculiar new series of abstract paintings Anna had created for a school Art project., a triptych of weirdness. Jacqui could make out a beak, an eyeball and a very flat chicken shape, she squinted her eyes in the hope it was an abstract dove, offering up peace. Then she remembered Anna's protest blog on battery chickens and her outrage, suddenly the squashed chook made sense.

"I love your chickens, I really feel their pain."

But Anna was busy listing Corinne's crimes and glanced at the chooks dismissively, "And you failed your History exam because of her."

Jacqui shrugged, "Oh no, I really wasn't prepared, I had a terrible headache. I was coming down with the flu."

"Bullshit!"

"Did she leave you any meals? Any information about when bills are due?"

"I have plenty of money," rallied Jacqui.

"So what did she say to you? How did she say goodbye? How did she explain herself?"

Jacqui was silent.

"Well?"

"She was in a bit of a hurry."

"What do you mean?"

"She left me a lovely little letter. Really, it was very sweet. I will cherish it always," offered Jacqui.

"A note, she left you a note! Now I am really outraged... and how many times has she phoned or skyped you?"

Jacqui hung her head down and concentrated on the second coat of nail polish she was applying to her toes. Anna continued to rattle off rounds of questions into the lazy afternoon air. Leo called out to Anna to calm down. She ignored him.

"Well, come on, how many times?" Anna's vein popped in wild indignation.

She had called once to tell her all about Tim and his white rhinos. He was younger but he really got her, Mum breathed into the phone sounding like a teenager.

Jacqui had tried to steer the conversation back to pertinent points like—when are you coming back home, I love you and I miss you but Corinne had steamrolled through the conversation with the finesse of the white rhinoceros she was painting.

"Well, come on how many times?"

"Once," said Jacqui.

"Once! In five weeks and six days," gasped Anna.

"You don't understand! She is out in the middle of a National Park. There isn't a good satellite range. She is literally in the middle of nowhere."

"Stop giving her excuses, it's appalling behaviour for a forty seven year old woman. This is bloody outrageous. And where is Warren, offshore or who knows where?"

"He is in Papua New Guinea and we skype all the time."

"Well what does he say about the situation?"

"I haven't mentioned it to him. I don't tell tales on my mum! Everything has just settled back down since the court case."

"YOU haven't mentioned it! Outrageous!!"

Anna folded her arms and tisked, "Well I'm very disappointed that you did not confide in me. Very disappointed. I'm cut, really hurt."

"Sorry Annakins, I guess I was—"

"What? What were you?" A nasty rush of irritation entered Anna's voice. She tried to smooth it away.

Jacqui was tired and overwrought and on the very edge now.

"Stick to writing blogs about squashed chickens because you will never understand how people feel!" Her voice was low and shaky.

Jacqui could not imagine Nina or Natalie ever running away from their families, a short erratic note the only communication. She had watched Nina cook, pack and label dozens of curries with military precision before her departure to India. Natalie had ironed, swept and dusted herself out of the house, leaving a trail of sticky yellow notes regarding appointments, meals and animal instructions when she had gone to look after her sister's kids down south.

Jacqui was terrified of sleeping in that cold studio alone and had attempted to spread her nights inconspicuously between Dylan, Anna and her new pals. Some nights, she attempted to sleep in her mother's double bed but watched the television on mute, rigid with fear, _'Anna is right'_ pounding in her brain.

"How could you ever understand? You are surrounded with all this lurve," she spewed out the word and opened her arms up in a twirl. "You've got two parents that don't have restraining orders out against each other, you have a big sister and a big brother who run around after you, you have two dogs, seven chickens and even a bloody rabbit!"

Leo stopped puffing and looked intently at Jacqui's face, she felt his burning blue eyes on her and uncannily pointed to him, "You even have your own fucking ghost who lives in a room decorated with friendly dead fuckers. You are so lucky! Sometimes it's hard being the friend of a barely contained bulldog!"

Anna snorted and stood up, "Sorry your family couldn't manage 'normal' and 'socially acceptable' behaviour. Boo fucking who!"

"I tell you what is outrageous, YOU! You are a horrible cold hearted cow." Jacqui jumped up and knocked over the red nail polish. It splattered over the white rug like a popped artery. Anna stared at it in shock while Jacqui bolted out the front door.

Leo drew his smoke in deeply and exhaled it out, "Geez... you make Mary Ellen look like a saint." He inhaled again. "What the hell was that all about? Can't you see she is low, what is wrong with you! You're like a loaded bloody cannon ... You better follow her, she is well out of sorts, go and say you're sorry!"

"But I'm not! And besides... I'm not her mother, I don't have to baby her!"

Leo stubbed out his cigarette on the wooden floor. Anna attempted to protest but realised it had disappeared into smoky nothingness.

"Don't you get it, you are all she has. Now go and say you're sorry, Anna. My mother stayed with me. It was me that left her." He attempted to barge through the doorframe but an invisible ockey strap catapulted him back into the room. Incensed, he moved to the window, straining to catch sight of Jacqui. He saw the swish of her floppy spotty pajama pant move up into a lumbering bus.

"HURRY UP AND MOVE YOUR ARSE ANNA!! SHE IS GETTING ON THE BUS."

As he moved from the front window, the room became a plaything for his impatience. Leo stomped back and leaned forward onto the glass. The pane cracked and the heavy curtains twirled up towards the ceiling. The rod lurched and hit the ground with a crack.

Alarmed by the noise, Kevin ran down the passage and stood in the doorway. His jaw dropped. He was gazing at a mini twister rampaging through his formal room.

"Nat, Nat, come quick love, NATALIE... COME HERE, I NEED YOU!"

He clutched his heart. He knew he was watching something extraordinary but he could not understand how the wintery autumn sun was shining outside as the liquid amber leaves gently parachuted to the ground. The happy hum of a lawn mower could be heard in the distance and yet his good room was in the throes of a cyclone, twisting the drapes up to the ceiling.

"Not again with the glass!" shouted Natalie and ran straight up to the window attempting to 'pull' Leo away. He spun around and faced her. The force of his movement tipped Natalie on to her bottom. Kevin raced into help her up. "Please find Jacqui, Anna hurt her and she has gone. I can feel her pain. She is not in a good way. Get your horseless carriage... I mean... your automobile Natsy and find her. She is not in a good way. Hurry!"

Kevin dragged her back into the hallway. Anna found the car keys and the three of them piled into the car.

"What happened?" shouted Natalie over the confusing din.

"We were discussing her situation, you know, about being ditched by her mother. Why did nobody tell me? She just went crazy. I have never seen her so upset."

"What did you say to her?" shouted Nat.

"Just the truth, Corinne is selfish... how many mid life crises can one woman have?"

"Anna is right, what kind of a person would walk out on a child the day before her first exam, it's not right. Too much wacky tobaccy, it's made her crazy," arced up Kevin.

"Life is a bit more complicated than that. I don't think Corinne has been well for a long time and Jacqui has been trying to take care of her mother and herself. No wonder she goes off the rails now and then."

"She never told me. Dylan got it out of her and he told me. Anyway I was only speaking the truth."

"Shut up Anna for God's sake and just keep calling her. Then call Nina and Dylan."

Anna's eyes welled with jagged tears. Her mother's words had caught her like barbed wire. Her indignation was replaced by guilt and shame. Leo was right. Jacqui was a gentle thing but she could be a charming sly fox too. Anna was ashamed, she had been thoughtless and pushed too hard in the name of concern. And now Jacqui had run out into the cold late afternoon, alone in body and soul.

"What would Leo know about Jacqui's pain?"

"What would a lonely soldier boy who has been trapped on Earth for ninety six years know about pain? Really Anna! And he was right about Bubba being a baby girl. And if you say lucky guess, I am going to push you out of the car at these next traffic lights."

Anna thought of the Snake tattoo arm and shivered. She had caught sight of Jacqui that night as she left the club. Jacqui flashed her best lipstick smudged smile and mouthed, "YOLO," over her shoulder as she disappeared from Anna's view.

"Can't you drive any faster?" she shouted back at her mother.
Chapter EIGHTEEN

Figs to You

They met Dylan and Nina at Jacqui's house. Deepak had dropped them off and been sent back home to turn off the forgotten bubbling deep fryer. Both were red faced and out of breath. Dylan had one eye painted in purple and green shimmering eye shadow—he'd been in the middle of a David Bowie Rebirth. Anna banged and thumped at the front door... then shouted and whistled from the doorstep. There was no answer. Above the door was a small lead light window with a piece missing. Kevin overturned an empty pot plant for Dylan to climb onto. He put his eye to the gap and peered into the studio. "My God," he exclaimed as he tried to stay balanced on the wobbly clay.

"What?" screamed Anna.

"The house is incredibly tidy. All the paintbrushes are size coordinated in fun little coloured glasses—ah... canvases are neatly stacked and there is a mat on the floor. Oooh I have never seen the floor before, it's usually covered in coffee cups and books and canvases... quite a nice rug... Aztec design. It looks like Snow white has been here, cleaning up after the seven dwarfs."

"Was there a dwarf named Kerazee?"

"Stop it Anna!"

"Get down Dylan. Let me have a look."

Anna scanned the immaculate room for signs of life. There were none. A light bulb went off in Anna's head.

"She will be with the vampires," she cried.

"Vampires! Are they real too!" trembled Nina.

"NO, Mummy, that's what we call Jacqui's new friends."

"Why?"

"Because they are so emo and tragic with their tattoos and piercings—so attention seeking," he replied without guile.

"You're kidding... right?" said Anna, as Nina put her hand to her mouth to cover a smirk. "Add irony to the list of things Mr One hundred and forty seven doesn't do."

"Who are these vampire people," shouted Natalie over Dylan and Anna's conversation.

"I don't know. She often goes out without Anna and I. I think we have only bumped into them once."

"How can we track them down?"

The five of them stood silently on Jacqui's landing. A very thirsty pink rose was wilting in a crumbling undersized pot. Kevin went to find the hose. It was in a tangle underneath an enormous centenarian Moreton Bay Fig tree. Its heavy branches and shiny dark leaves touched the top story eaves on one side, on the other side, it cascaded over the road in an arc of dark mossy coolness. A very tired and unravelling piece of rope secured a mouldy warped plywood board with the message, 'DO NOT CUT OR PRUNE THIS ELDERLY GENLTLEMAN, HE IS OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD.' Corinne had written it with great flourish in large flowery capitals. Kevin read the sign.

"Would you look at that? The sign is still here, I can't believe it's still here. It has been hanging here for eight years. Bloody tree branches are hanging over the road, if one branch falls, it could cause a nasty accident. Then there's the electric wires overhead. It's bloody dangerous. Why do the council let her get away with it?"

"She tied herself to it for the first three years whenever the council workers were coming down the road with their cherry pickers and loppers," replied Natalie tersely.

"I'm surprised you don't remember it Kevin. Arun certainly does. The first time she tied herself to the trunk she was naked," said Nina tight lipped. "Not a stitch on her, she looked like a naked Barbie doll left at the playground."

"Oh yes, it's coming back to me now," blushed Kev.

"How could you forget, the two of you were loitering in the background. Remember... you were picking up the kids from a sleep over?" cried Natalie.

"I was not loitering, I do not loiter," blustered Kevin.

"It was on the evening news, the two of you were on the news, walking in and out of the shot like a couple of boob struck teenagers," snapped Natalie.

Anna and Dylan were very quiet.

Kevin untangled the hose and gently watered the dying plant. Nina watched Kevin with great intensity, sorry to have prodded the memory back into life while trying to stifle the desire to laugh out loud. She caught Nat's eye. Nat winked.

"Face Plant," cried Nina.

"What are you talking about Mother?" said Dylan red faced.

"Plant Book? You know that computer thing you enjoy so much that says you have eight hundred friends when you only have two. Jacqui is always making the very pretty photos."

"Face Book!" cried Anna. "You are a genius Nina!"

Jacqui is constantly on Face Book, we will track her through that."

Dylan pulled out his phone and logged in.

"Ohh look at that," gasped Dylan.

"What?" shouted Anna.

"Amber Myers is having a massive sixteenth party and the three of us are all invited."

"Who is this Amber?" quizzed Nina. "Is she a good girl?"

"I have no idea who she is?" replied Dylan.

"DYLAN. FOCUS!"

"Okay, okay J A C Q U I."

The four of them gazed at Jacqui's display photo. She was holding onto Bubba who was wrapped in a bright pink and orange crocheted blanket. She was beaming into the camera. Anna now knew the smile was her armour.

"No, she hasn't updated since two days ago."

"What will we do now?"

"Contacts Dylan," shouted Anna. "Scroll through her photos and contacts. Remember that weird couple we met at the shops with her. The guy was short and fat and the girl was tall and bony looking. Remember you were jealous of the girl's turquoise green hair and disgusted at the man's nose ring. It was pierced through the front and you said he looked like a little fat piggy on the way to market." Anna hadn't liked the way Pig Man had looked at her.

"So I did, oink, oink."

"If only we could remember their names," sighed Anna.

"Mr. and Mrs. Piggy Ghouly Vampire. They were evil looking," Dylan shuddered. "The scariest thing was Pig Man was wearing denim on denim, quite a terrifying combination."

Dylan poked at his smart phone for a short time and then said timidly, "Ummm, I actually know her password, does that help?"

"How do you know her password?" cried Anna.

"You know I have a photographic memory and an IQ of 147, it is shamefully easy for me. It is a curse to be so clever." Dylan tried to look innocent.

"Do you know mine?"

"Yes," said Dylan. He paused, "And Natalie's and Deepak's too." He looked down at his feet in disgrace.

"You see this is what I am talking about, it's 'Big Brother' watching you. Social media is open to all sorts of abuse. Anyone could pretend to be anyone else. They could steal your identity, your money, your house and your kidneys!! I hate Face Book."

"Calm down Dad."

Anna noticed the veins in his neck flexing and wriggling like fat purple worms under his skin.

"Let's call the police," cried Natalie, anxious to bring the conversation back to the problem at hand.

"Let's use our common sense first. We can't barge into the police station and say we have it on good authority from our resident ghost that Jacqui is emotionally unstable and may do something rash and foolish. We would look like fools," countered Kevin.

"I don't care about looking foolish and nor should you Mr. Booby. We are responsible for this girl and although Corinne is far away, I know she is a loving and caring mother." Natalie walked over to the tree and flung her arms around it dramatically.

"She saved this tree in her own special way. Look at the rest of this sterile street, manicured within an inch of its life." Natalie flung her arm dramatically toward the rest of the road. The street trees had just received their annual bowl haircut.

"She is not well at the moment. And she is our friend and she is is having some sort of mental breakdown. She is not herself at all. People do occasionally crack up Kevin," Natalie's voice wavered and cracked. "It's not a big deal!"

"I know love, I know." Kevin stood quietly for a moment. "Remember Jacqui's tenth birthday party. Corinne threw her an Evil Genius' and their Henchmen surprise party. Corinne dressed up as Maleficent the malicious fairy and you wore that Lycra black cat costume, Natsy." Kevin grinned at her.

"And I came as Bellatrix Lestrange," sighed Dylan. "I wonder where my curly wig is..."

"What were you Anna? I have forgotten," asked Nina.

"The Greenhouse Effect... The abuse of our planet is pure evil," she muttered without her usual conviction.

"Of course, that's right... you glued aerosol cans to a poncho made of astro turf, very scary."

"Yep, that was a great arvo. Corinne had gone to so much trouble with the food and the decorations. Remember the look on Jacqui's face," said Kevin.

"Yes," said Anna softly, "she cried with joy."

The five stood silently on the landing.

The wind began to rattle the tree branches, groaning and creaking ominously. The squall whipped up Nina's sari over her face and a sudden downpour of rain had them running for cover.

"One thing I know for sure is that branch is going to come crashing down on the lot of us. Let's get out of here," shouted Kev as they bolted for Nat's car.

The five of them squeezed into the vehicle, the windows steamed up in an uncomfortable instant.

"Here they are," announced Dylan. "Mr. and Mrs. Creepy names are Callum and Kelsey." A photo of a dour porky male and a thin tall woman with fluorescent green hair appeared.

"What does she say about them?" asked Anna, slightly jealous.

"It's a PM... Umhh... _'Sorry Cals and Kels, can't do that festival thing next month, no funds! Soz. I might pop in and see you soon. It's great that you are so close, right around the corner. I don't have to catch the bus. How I loathe catching the bus!!! The creepy bus driver with the sculptured beard keeps hitting on me. Ciao for now peeps! Jacs xxx_

"I never knew she hated catching the bus," murmured Anna, now realizing that it was Jacqui that always travelled to her.

"What is the street around the corner called again?" blurted Kevin.

"Fisher Street," replied Natalie.

"Let's look at this logically," continued Kevin. "Leo saw her get on the bus. We know her stop is the second last one. Even if she stayed on the bus, she couldn't be far away. We know that the vampires, I mean her other friends, live close by in Fisher Road. It's a small cul de sac. She is probably going to bunk down there tonight. She will be around in the morning with MacMuffins for everyone. You know what she is like, such a chirpy little thing." He faltered, "You must have really touched a nerve Anna."

"I know, I am so sorry, I just need to tell her I am sorry."

"You sound like Leo," said Natalie.

"Guilt is a horrible thing, I wonder what Leo did?"

"We can't just leave it at that. Leo said she was feeling terrible. We have to talk to her tonight. Did you see those marks on her legs? She is not in a good state of mind."

"Yes, I noticed them last week," said Nina quietly.

"I don't know what you are talking about," said Anna ashamed.

"Might be time you got off your soap box and joined reality, love," Natalie said gently.

"We need to speak to her, she may never come back. What if something happens to her? What if she goes to one of those clubs and leaves with a serial killer this time?" Anna panicked. "This is all my fault. I have to fix it. I have to speak to her." Anna's brain sorted through the swampy fog and came up with a solution. She would make a list, "Right, first we need to case Fisher Street and count the houses, you know... break it into groups... then we need to get reinforcements, we need to pick up Arun and Deepak. Then we are going to knock on every door in that street until... I see her face again and apologise for being a self righteous git."

"Well said," applauded Dylan, who fell quiet but then added, "it's a pity Jacqui is not here, she would have loved the idea of splitting up a search party. It's classic Scooby you know."

"Shut up Dylan," said Nina, as she wiped the car window with her sari and stared at the lonely fig tree. "Hold your tongue boy!"
**CHAPTER** **NINETEEN**

Journey from Darkness to Light

Jacqui ran down the nature strip, oblivious of her red painted toenails smearing in the wet grass, leaving a trail of soggy tissues and cotton balls as they were propelled from her pounding feet. A little girl making mud pies out the front of her yard shouted, "Hello Jacqui, I'm making whoopee pies and those colourful makanoons. Want one?"

"Not today, my lovely," said Jacqui flatly without breaking her step.

"You're a meanie today," flashed the child, taking her wares inside to sell her to her mother.

She was vaguely aware of the bus approaching from behind, she heard the familiar rumble and looked over her shoulder and felt that dreaded familiar flash—the short lived urge to walk out in front of the bus. "It will pass," she breathed out. But right now, she craved for time to cease and the pain to melt away, her blood tingled at the thought. Its pulsation slowed down in her ears and neck and sped up in her legs, she was shaking with anticipation. This time she would really do it. Turning quickly, she stopped and waited, watching the bus from the side of the road. She was out the front of the house from which the table had been rescued. Anna's angry face loomed out at her as she saw herself pulling up her jeans in front of the bemused yobs. She had just got carried away, that's all... she had only wanted to help.

Jacqui sucked her breath in and pictured herself falling onto the bitumen. _JUST DO IT_ , she chanted to herself, feeling her weight lean forward and her eyes clamp shut. She could hear Anna's voice whoof in her ears— _Stop the dramatics Jacs!_ She forced herself to stop, open her eyes and look around, half hoping to see Anna sprinting beetroot faced down the footpath. There was no one there. She closed her eyes again and felt her left foot move forward. _Alone._

The rumble of the bus got louder and closer until she could smell... almost taste the diesel fumes in the air. She wasn't being dramatic... she was finally being truthful with herself. The pain in her heart was too terrible to bear, it was smothering her and poking her and taunting her. _Alone... because you are not good enough_ _... not worthy_ she thought. _Please. Oblivion._

"Yoo Hoo. Hello Lovey."

Jacqui opened her eyes and saw that the bus had pulled up next to her. Bev, her favourite bus driver had opened the doors and was talking to her.

"Are you alright lovey? You look white as a sheet... and you're still in your jimjams. Are you catching the bus today?"

Jacqui stared at her blankly for five seconds while her brain recalibrated. _Push it all down and smile Jacs._ She put her hand to head and felt whoozy, she was going to be sick, her body felt cold but her mind was on fire.

But she was well practised and produced her best smile as she snapped into action, "Oh Bev, yes, yes I am. I was walking down to the bus stop and—" she looked down at herself. "And I'm not feeling very well. I'm going home."

"Home is the best place when you are feeling poorly, you poor lamb." _Even the bus driver cares more for me than my own mother,_ thought Jacqui miserably although she knew now she was sliding into melodramatics. Soon the true pain in her heart returned, stroking her with a dagger. _Anna is right..._ _what is wrong with painting roses anyway? What is wrong with living with her only child? What is wrong with me?_ This final thought pierced her like a stab to the heart, _"I'm not good enough."_

She sat in her usual seat and fingered her scar. She hated, hated catching the bus. It was full of strange people always wanted to chat to her, hit on her or sneeze on her. She spied Callum, who was sitting in the back seat, wearing a long black overcoat in the vein of Snape meets the Terminator, reading _Proust_. He whistled to Jacqui. Bev looked in the rear view mirror and frowned.

_One potato, two potato, three potato, four... Action!_ Jacqui turned and squealed, "Hello Callum, how are you?" pushing herself in false delight while thinking _piss off and leave me alone._

"Long time no see," said Callum. He swaggered and stumbled between seats as he made his way toward her. Bev scowled and resisted the temptation to brake suddenly.

"I have been working on a special project with my friends," she managed a crooked smile.

"Sounds cool, what is it?"

"It's a secret."

"Now I really want to know." Jacqui remained silent.

"You okay?" he asked as he hitched up his jeans and smoothed his shirt over his burgeoning belly and attempted to button his coat.

"Yes, I am perfectly marvellous, how about you?"

"I'm okay. Hey, why don't you come around for drinks and pizza tonight? Kelsey was just saying this morning she hadn't seen you round for a while. She would love to see you."

"Sounds wonderful," said Jacqui.

"See you at six." Callum got off the bus and looked up at her through the window and asked, "Are you sure you are all right?"

"I'm peachy, Cals."

She waved as the bus drew away and then dug her nails deep into her flesh.

She found herself getting off at her own bus stop and wandered through the empty cold space of her home. She quickly got changed into clothes, locked up and looked at her watch—it was only five thirty. Jacqui walked over to the Moreton Bay tree and fingered her mother's loopy writing on an old sign. The noise of a dodgy muffler broke her thoughts. _Deepak's Sportivo!_ She cocked her head to one side of the massive trunk and saw the maroon car belching its way down the street.

Without thinking, she scurried up the tree like Lucy the Loris Lemur, the old footholds and knots still there from her childhood. Corinne had called her that as a child as she nimbly made her way up to the top branches. She climbed into the dense foliage over the road and gripped tightly as a small truck whooshed underneath her.

Thoughts of letting go crowded her mind. Then a random thought struck her. She remembered Leo stuck in his box or tethered to the Grey's good room. Perhaps her search for eternal peace would fail, she would not become one with the Universe and probably end up as the ghost girl who kept falling out of the tree, severed and splattered by the _No Standing Any Time_ sign. The metallic smell of nail polish and... she sniffed her tee shirt... peanut butter, would forever ominously waft as the breeze tickled the branches and her invisible body smacked into the ground again and again. To be trapped in a perpetual, perpetual motion would be worse then death. _Poor Leo... poor Leo... he was stuck._ Her heart bled for him but she did not want to be stuck too. _Death did not guarantee freedom._ Jacqui breathed deeply and closed her eyes. She tried to remember Nina's soft voice chanting soothingly. Her chanting took on the melody of, 'The Lord is My Shepherd.' _Wow, I really am a mixed bag of lollies._

Asato ma sat gamaya Tamaso ma jotirgamaya Mritunma Amiritian Gamaya

Om shanty, shanti, shanti, hi

She opened her eyes and watched Dylan and Nina get out of the car as Deepak sped away in a cloud of smoke. Before she could breathe out, Anna, Natalie and Kevin pulled up.

She sat motionless. If she shimmied down the tree now she would look foolish. They would knock at the door and work out she wasn't home. They would leave. _Please leave_ , she thought to herself as the Post van sped under her branches. She crept forward carefully and sat within the security of a wide bough pulling her legs up while shivering and watching her friends gesticulate and argue. Snippets of conversation floated up to her. _Please leave_ , she closed her eyes and tried to will them away. Then Kevin made his way to the tree. To be discovered propped up in a fig tree would be even worse than climbing down. _GO AWAY,_ she screamed in her head. _Go back to your own families!_

She sat in her nook, with her knees up under her chin and her legs tightly clasped. With her eyes shut tight and her face srewed up, she listened to Natalie's impassioned speech, looking down on the crown of her head as she hugged the tree. Then Kevin reminisced about her tenth birthday party and that happy memory opened the floodgate to many more for her. Anna started crying and Dylan looked miserable. He was genuinely miserable and without any props, his garish glittering eye had smudged into a muddy patch. He looked like an overwhelmed pirate. "Gosh, he truly is pathetic," she said fondly under her breath.

She unfurled her legs and longed to climb back down. A sudden gust almost blasted her down to their feet, forcing her to cling on as it rained down nails. Then they were gone.

The sudden squall ended and she carefully made her way back down. She breathed in the moist suburban air and arranged her skirt and tucked in her tee shirt just as an evening dog walker nodded perfunctorily at her. Her enthusiastic hello startled him. Jacqui knew she was loved. Her mother loved her and her friends loved her. It was a glorious feeling. She would be okay... for now this was enough.

She would pop into Kel's and Cal's, explain she couldn't stay and then make her way back to where she belonged. She wondered if Beth and Blake had chosen a name for Bubba.

Jacqui checked her watch. It was five forty one. She would be early but that was okay.

Callum opened the front door, looking very pleased to see her. Music droned out from the stereo and the house had a suspicious smell of stale junk food and something else.

"Hiya Jacqui, sorry about the mess."

"What mess?" she replied lightly as she skipped over a pair of jeans, a broken thong and four scattered take away coffee cups.

"Can I get you a drink?" asked Cal, as he picked a shrivelled green olive off the front of his shirt.

"No thanks, I just popped in to tell you I double booked tonight. Mum has an exhibition in the city."

"Maybe we will tag along later."

"Oh you two would hate it! It's pretty pink roses and knitted tea cosies. Not your thing at all. Not one skull or bird with an arrow through its head," she laughed, referring to Kelsey's older poetry.

"Kels isn't in right now." He looked at his watch. "I'm not expecting her til six," he looked up and smiled. "Come on, stay for one quick drink while you wait for her. She will be bummed if she misses you." He gave his shoulders a quick flick and unwittingly released a dandruff snowdrift.

Callum threw the scattered newspapers off the couch and kicked the pizza boxes underneath it.

"Well, seeing as though you have gone to so much trouble," she laughed and sat down.

Empty beer bottles, wrappers and food scraps littered the room. She longed for the comfort of Natalie's kitchen. She spotted Kelsey's writing folder and wondered if she had written another poem. Kelsey wouldn't mind her sneaking a peek in the dossier. The poems were breathtakingly beautiful yet incredibly depressing. Someone always got hurt and she seemed particularly good at recounting hallucinations. She picked the folder up and hesitated. No, she was feeling good and didn't want to read about a drowned lover or three-legged pig or whatever it was this time. She put the folder down and its contents scattered to the floor. She picked the pages up and discovered flight details belonging to Kelsey. Kelsey was in Port Hedland. She must be visiting her brother and would not be walking through that door any minute now. She was not due back until Monday. Jacqui felt her blood run cold. She had slept on this couch half a dozen times but Kelsey was always in the house. Kelsey usually slept on the other couch as they dozed in front of the television together, talking arty farty bollocks.

Jacqui felt slightly panicky and wondered what this all meant. She stood up and quietly tried the front door. It had been dead bolted. _Never mind,_ she thought to herself as she struggled to keep calm. _The key should be hanging on a hook under the front room curtain_. It was not there.

She could hear Callum washing up dirty glasses. Past the kitchen was the back door. She walked into the kitchen and tried to look calm.

"So tell me about your secret project." Callum was picking dehydrated lettuce off a glass.

"Ahh, yes," she replied.

"Go on."

"It's an historical project. My friend Anna unearthed some fascinating family archives regarding a First World War soldier. Gripping stuff, very moving too."

I wish Leo could apperate here and smash a glass over your head.

"I love history. You know I am a Trotskyite?"

_Of course you are you weirdo_ , she thought. _Goodness, Anna's voice just popped into my head... in a good way!_ Jacqui almost smiled.

She thought of Dylan too. "My friend Dylan is intrigued by your nose ring and wonders how painful the piercing was?"

Callum looked up from the sudsy water and laughed. He took the ring out. It was not real.

"It's a fake," he said.

"How interesting," Jacqui replied. _And you're a faker_ she thought to herself. She studied his face under the cold flickering fluorescent kitchen light. He appeared older than she remembered. There were deep wrinkly grooves under his eyes and his chin stubble had flecks of white through it. She had never looked closely at him before. She had been caught up in Kelsey's bleak metaphors and blinded by the impressive fact that entry into adult nightlife was made a lot of easier in the presence of a man built like a brick shithouse than a skinny braced boy and an angry little pixie. She had been in such a rush... but now she wondered why. She remembered the night she had left Anna and Dylan behind... and for what... ten minutes of mindblowing pain and a headache as her skull bumped the headboard again and again. It was time to leave right now.

"I think I left some socks here last time. I'll go and have a look in the laundry."

She could see the large antique key in the back door. She moved casually to the back of the house but Callum overtook her like a snuffling truffle pig.

"Here, let me help you look for them. It's a disgusting mess back there."

Suddenly he was in front of her and his bulky figure blocked the back door.

"Kelsey is being a bit tardy today, it's six fifteen. I had better get going. I might come back later. Thanks for the drink Cals but I must dash."

"Oh Kelsey just texted, she said she would be here in five mins. Surely you can wait five minutes."

Jacqui started to walk backwards down the passage to the front door. Callum walked towards her.

"Why don't you stay?"

"No I really have to go now, do you mind unlocking the door?"

"You don't want to make Kelsey sad do you?" Callum tipped his head to one side in a lame attempt to look coy and cute. She stared at him speechless.

"You don't want to make Callum angry do you?" he grunted. She could almost see Dylan's face scrunching up in disgust as Callum referred to himself in the third person. Almost. She wanted to shout, "Unlock the door, you don't want to make Jacqui hysterical, do you?" but the words failed to form.

Jacqui was silent as her head shook in disbelief. She had got this situation horribly wrong. The pretence was over.

"Come on you stupid bitch. You are here all the time, sleeping on my couch and drinking all my booze. Do you think I let you stay for your scintillating conversation? Oh peeps, isn't everything perfectly marvellous. Anyone for Maccas, my shout peeps," he mimicked her voice in an exaggerated slur. He laughed at his own impersonation and then was silent. "Come on, you know you want it."

He began unzipping his jean's fly. Jacqui felt the air in her lungs evaporate. Dylan passed through her mind. Sheer terror and then fury passed through her body. It moved its way up to her mouth and she let out the most terrifying shrillest loudest scream she could muster. Her throat ached and her eyes popped but she would not be silenced. She reached for her mobile and fumbled with it... she couldn't get it to respond. The useless foggy void descended and left her fingers frozen. Callum knocked the mobile out of her hand and tried to grab at her but like a cat, she slid out of his way. She drew breath and screamed again throwing herself at the front window. The force of her hysteria knocked the dusty drapes and the curtain rod off the wall brackets. Callum pounced on her from behind and dragged her away from the glass and onto the floor. Just as her head hit the cold floorboards she thought she saw Dylan and Arun standing by the front door. _I really am going crazy_ , she thought. She drew in breath and screamed for help again. Callum was on top of her now and Jacqui watched in slow motion as his hand came toward her mouth. He slapped her across the face and they both were shocked into silence.

There was a tremendous rap at the door. Callum looked more terrified now than Jacqui. A deep masculine voice penetrated the walls, reverberating off the exposed window.

"POLICE, OPEN UP! A disturbance has been reported and we need to know everything is ok. Open up now or we will break the door DOWN."

Callum jumped up, attempted to zip up and bolted for the back door, he fumbled with the key and was gone. The door was ajar and the cool night air hit her swollen face. She scrambled to her feet and started to run down the passage. A skinny purple haired boy was waiting for her in the darkened doorway with fluro pink randomly flashing from his feet.

"Dylan, oh Dylan. Thank you, that was your best performance ever. Now let's get out of here. Callum is a maniac."

"It's ok, the cavalry is here," Dylan walked her round the backyard and up to the driveway to show her the scenario unfolding on the front lawn.

Arun had Callum in a headlock. He wrestled him to the ground and then sat on his chest. Deepak sat on his legs. Kevin called the cops. Nina made very rude remarks in loud and angry Bengali regarding Callum and his appendage.

"Shayton, Badmash!"

Breathless, Arun and Deepak laughed uncontrollably. "You go Mum!" cried Deepak.

Natalie became concerned that Arun's weight would kill Callum. She said she had not put on twenty-five kilos for nothing and that it was her turn to provide the ballast. She helped Arun to his feet. If he sat on him for any longer he would be dead and then they would really be in trouble for being vigilantes. As Arun hauled himself off a very pale and silent Callum, the police pulled into the driveway.

Anna stood in the front yard pale faced; the blue flashing light of the police car cast her in and out of sight. Dylan held onto Jacqui as she limped towards Anna. Anna burst into tears and ran towards the staggering pair.

"I'm so sorry," gasped Anna.

"I am so sorry too."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, you nearly got—I would never have forgiven myself, it would have haunted me always... I harassed you out of the house, I hadn't even noticed how unhappy you truly were. I'm a terrible, terrible friend," Anna sobbed loudly.

Jacqui put her arms around her and buried her face into her shoulder. Her heart was bursting with love.
CHAPTER TWENTY

Rain, Rissoles and No Man's Land

"And then I heard the back door slam and I shouted at Dad to run down the driveway, round to the back and stop the slimy creepster from fleeing the scene of the crime... I have never seen Dad move so fast, his orthopedic flip-flop thongs were a flipping blur. You ought to have seen Pig Man's face when he saw my Dad at the top of the carport, barrelling towards him. He nearly popped his pooper valve... it was legendary." Dylan sucked in a hurried breath and steamrolled on.

"Anna, Kevin and Natalie were knocking on the door across the road and they bolted over here. Natalie called Deepak and Mum, who were knocking on doors further down the street and then you came to the back door and now you are up to speed on Operation Vampire."

Jacqui and Anna were waiting for him to burst into Shakespearean parallel but instead he raved on about how proud he was of his Dad. "You know he is a Security Officer, apprehending criminals is second nature to him." He looked at his Dad as if he were seeing him for the first time.

Dylan took a quick squirt of puffer only to relieve his breathlessness after his incredibly long sentence.

A policeman asked Jacqui if she minded coming back into the house to explain what had happened and to make a statement. Anna grabbed her hand and held it tightly as Jacqui recounted the past hour's events.

Jacqui knocked Kelsey's poetry folder off the coffee table, releasing snippets of words and images that floated up to her. She saw drowned kittens and pinned butterflies. It made her feel suddenly very sad for Kelsey, it wasn't just poetry, it was an SOS to the Universe. Jacqui's hot tears distorted Kelsey's angry angular handwriting and the words blurred into nothingness. She tried to put the poems back into order and shuffled paper knowingly. A photograph fell to the floor.

Anna picked it up and squinted at it in disbelief. _It was Daisy and Agnes!_ This time Agnes was looking directly at the camera. Daisy had her face in profile looking at Agnes. Agnes was truly beautiful and Daisy was beaming at her affectionately. She turned it over and inscribed in Kelsey's handwriting were the words, 'Daisy and sister?'

Anna gasped and quickly put the photo in her pocket. She took the folder out of Jacqui's shaking fumbling hands while she continued to talk to the policeman, pretending to place the folder back on the shelf she flicked through it at lightning speed catching the poems' titles, 'The Voices in my Head Are Bored with Me Already,' 'Seeing Double,' 'The Man who lives in the library wears Flares,' and 'Emptiness—A Personal Journey.'

_Who is this sick weirdo and what is she doing with an image of my Great Great Aunts?_ Anna wondered if she were hallucinating from the stress of the last few hours. _I need Maccas and a Milo. Pronto!_ She worked her way through the wad of poems like a bank teller counting crisp paper notes. She lifted the last poem and slowed down, the first line was, "Last night I slept on a bed of Spinifex, while a pioneer's wife stroked my hair. I stopped crying and began to sing.' _She really is a fruit loop._ Anna lifted it up to read the whole poem, already beginning to pick on spelling, syntax and its jerky rhythm but there underneath it, staring up at her with his blue eyes in sepia was Leo. Leo was standing and Les was sitting. The same pose, a postcard copy of the same photo. She turned it over, written on the back was, 'I thought you might like to have this,' in swirly old fashioned fading cursive. It looked vaguely familiar.

Anna felt a wave of shock smack her in the face. _What is happening?_ She couldn't think of a plausible explanation. _Breathe, Anna, Breathe. Think rationally._ Kevin's voice boomed in her head. What was the most obvious answer? The Occam's Razor? Had Jacqui found these photos in Anna's house and given them to her morose friend as inspiration for her bleak poems? They weren't bleak photos. Or was she making fun behind her back of the whole Leo thing. She looked up at Jacqui. The police had finished their questioning. Natalie was embracing Jacqui. She loved Anna's family. She slipped Leo into her other pocket and wrapped her arms around them both.

Callum was escorted to the back of the police car. His face was white and his voice was raspy. "I'm sorry," he choked out pausing to cough, desperate to re inflate at least one lung. "I was drunk... just kidding around... don't tell Kels, please," he gurgled through frothy saliva.

Jacqui just stared at him and shook her head in disbelief.

Dylan stepped forward and said, "Apology not accepted we will all (he waved to both families surrounding Jacqui) see you in court Pig Man."

The police cars drove slowly away. The blue flashing light turned the corner and cast them into darkness. Arun sighed and Kevin scratched his head.

Nina turned to Natalie, "I have some deep fried spicy chicken, very special Sorshe Ilish and yesterday's Bandhahapir Ghanta and two Tupperware containers of bhat. Shall I bring it around?"

"What is Ghanta?" asked Kevin, already sold on the spicy chicken.

"Cabbage curry."

"Look out, it will be an interesting morning," said Kevin rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "Better find your nose peg Anna, your mother is going to blow," he teased.

"Whatever, Mr Booby," replied Nat.

"Not cool Dad, you are so embarrassing," moaned Anna.

"My bad," he answered.

"OMG DAD, I hate it when adults teenspeak. Pathetic!"

"Ooh vegetable curry, that will go nicely with my semi defrosted casserole, left over rissoles and a pot of French Onion soup," countered Natalie. Arun patted his belly.

"I have half a dozen bottles of home brewed beer," said Kevin. Arun gave the thumbs up.

"Come on, Jacqui," said Anna. "Let's go home."

Blake, Beth and Bubba were waiting in the kitchen. Blake's head was now dazzling clean-shaven; Bubba was cocooned in a pouch against his chest. Beth had set the table and the casserole was wafting out savoury tomato vapours from the oven. The soup bubbled in the pot. Larry and Lottie sat on their mat by the heater. Leo was not at home.

Jacqui walked through the door and embraced Blake and Beth. Beth cried out, "At least you know a good lawyer." Blake, the free spirit hippie was a lawyer who lectured at University and worked at a private practice in the suburbs.

"Thank you," said Jacqui. She was starting to feel overwhelmed and wanted everything to go back to normal. Beth gently placed a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel onto her swollen face while handing her two painkillers with a green tea. She sat down and drank the tea with a quivering hand.

"Have you named Bubba yet?" Blake placed the tiny pink bundle in Jacqui's arms. She was fast asleep. With the snuggly weight of the baby in her arms, her trembling ceased.

"I really like the name Summer," Blake piped up.

"But she was born in bloody autumn," arced up Kevin.

"Settle down Dad."

"It's a bloody season, not a name."

"Dad, settle down."

Dylan peered into the blankets and wrinkled his nose. "How about Potato Head?"

"Shut up Dylan," said Jacqui and Anna at the exact same time.

Nina, Arun and Deepak arrived with two enormous cardboard boxes packed to the brim with Bengali goodies. Eating became the main occupation of the adults. Natalie took charge.

Dylan, Anna and Jacqui wandered out of the kitchen and into the front room.

"He is not here."

"Yes, even I can tell," sniffed Dylan. "It smells nice and the dogs aren't poohing themselves."

"What happened to the room? It's trashed again," said Jacqui wide eyed. "Did Kevin flip his lid?"

"Nope... more like poohed his pants. Let's just say you have a supernatural supporter too. Leo was furious at the way I spoke to you and he gently suggested that I find you." She waved her arm towards the cracked window glass and the curtain sitting askew on the floor.

Anna looked out at the rain falling heavily. Large cold sheets of water pounded the verandah, its blinding velocity made her think about long gone soldiers suffering Trench Feet while waiting for a signal in a saturated sap or trench somewhere. Subconsciously, she curled her toes up into her slippers.

Larry pushed open the door and started sniffing and mauling the rug in ecstasy.

Jacqui watched Larry, "Nope, he is not here."

"I wonder where he goes," said Anna, staring into the grey gloom outside.

"In Between world," replied Jacqui exhausted.

"That sounds like it's at the top of the Faraway tree, Enid dear," laughed Dylan.

"Next stop after Toy Town but right before Bottom Spanking Brownie Borough."

"I don't think it is In Between world, I think he is on Earth somewhere." Jacqui thought of her old knotted tree and her perennial fall onto the path of a red Australian post van and quivered, "He is stuck."

"In a box where not everyone speaks the lingo and there are not many of us left, we know he is on Earth Jacqui," Anna replied.

"Not everyone speaks English," said Jacqui suddenly.

"He is in France." Jacqui stood up.

"Of course," cried Dylan.

"Which brings us back to the exacting location of' 'in the field'. Somewhere. Anywhere. Nowhere. NO man's land. It's bloody hopeless."

"No man's land, that is where he goes, he goes back into the earth. Being the social fellow, he probably has a chinwag with the other lost souls hanging around their bones and bits, but I guess their numbers are dwindling... I wonder if he is able to wander around town pinching socks and keys for fun," mused Jacqui. "I wonder how he transports himself here?"

She attempted to use her phone to find out but it was useless.

"As time has gone on perhaps most of his dead pals have been released from their earth bound shackles as they work out what is tying them down. You know, why they are earth bound in the first place. They have the last drag on their cigarette and wave a cheery goodbye and off they go into the arms of their loved ones at last."

Jacqui started crying, "That is the most beautiful thing you have ever said Dylan."

"And it's a Dylan original," said Dylan stunned at his tenderness.

Jacqui's lips wavered.

"Are you all right?" Anna asked Jacqui.

"I am fine, I really am fine. I thought for a while I was a lonely soldier girl but I am not, I'm not at all." Jacqui's green eyes twinkled into glassy tears that glittered down her face. "Being alone can be hell; poor Leo is in Hell on Earth, apart from the fact he is looking for Les and needs Daisy like Dylan needs self involved drama."

"Very rude!" Dylan laughed and continued on. "There are plenty of Australian tourists going to France at the moment. France has become incredibly fashionable, Mummy has an umbrella with the Eiffel tower on it."

Dylan thought fondly of his Mum as she ran through the rain with one hand clutching her umbrella, the other clutching her cotton sari to reveal Adidas trainers and mismatched socks. It was a look only his beautiful mother could carry off.

"Yes, my Mum has two cushions, a note pad and a doona cover with Parisian themes," added Anna.

"Mum has three vintage Parisian prints, a cheese board with a map of France on it, a tea towel and oven mitt set and an Eiffel tower doorstop," trumped Jacqui.

"Are the prints of naked women?" Dylan asked with feigned innocence.

"No, of course not. All the ladies have panties on and well placed tassels. Decent and decadent." She winked at a bug eyed Dylan.

"I thought every one was still going to Bali."

"Oh yes, that's still in but all the middle class mummies and daddies are heading off to gay Paris."

"Do you think our Mums are trying to tell us they want to go to France too?"

"Nah," said Dylan. He could barely picture the three women in Paris. Images of sensible shoes and bum bags evaporated before his eyes like a bad dream. He shivered.

"I don't see how Aussie tourists could help Leo. They have probably drunk a fine drop or three of chardonnay in their chalet and are all tucked up with their _French for Dummies book_ when the witching hour begins," said Anna. "God, adults are boring."

Larry began to make conspicuous almost meowing sounds of pleasure as he nibbled the tasselled rug.

"Get off it Larry," snapped Anna.

Larry was shunted out the door and into the passage. Nina wandered out from the kitchen with half a glass of ginger beer in her hand. She sipped and burped sweetly into the night.

"Ah Larry, my dear friend, you look skinny, I haven't forgotten you." She bent slightly over and whispered conspiratorially into Larry's deaf ear, "I have taken the chicken fat off our Murgir Jhol for good health."

She nodded her head in the direction of Arun's tummy that appeared through the crack in the door. She nodded and smiled at the dog in an exaggerated way.

"I remembered you love it so," she placed her hand under her sari and pulled out a wad of chook fat neatly bundled up in cling film.

Larry was in heaven.

Anna shut the door firmly and pulled out the stolen photos. "I have something to show you."

"Is it a vat of my Mum's Shorshe Ilish because I am ravenous?" Dylan headed toward the door and stopped as Anna held up the photos in front of his face, Les and Leo in one hand and Agnes and Daisy in another.

He looked at the wall and then back at the photos, "Where did you find them? Did Natalie have them after all?" He paused and studied the photos.

"Isn't Agnes a peach? She is absolutely breathtaking."

Jacqui stood up and examined the photos as well.

"Where did Natalie find them?"

"She didn't, you did," answered Anna.

"I'm not up for a brainteaser today peeps." She slouched over the table and rested her head on the cool polished wood. Her face ached and the image of Callum's filthy shirt and exposed flesh kept pinching her brain, she lay her head upon the cool table and found some relief.

"How well do you know Kelsey and Pig Man?"

"I met them on the bus about six months ago. Kelsey doesn't drive and Callum had lost his license again. Kelsey was writing poems, she dropped her pen. It rolled toward me, I picked it up and we got chatting. We would go out clubbing and after Mum left, I would crash the night with them sometimes. I didn't want to be alone and Kels is quite nice." She added quietly, "In a disturbed kind of way."

"Why do you think Kelsey was with that fat oinker," said Dylan in disgust.

One of Kelsey's first poems, an image of a small girl looking through a broken glass window washed back into her mind.

"She is lonely," answered Jacqui. Anna nodded. "She feels alone."

"Did you ever mention Leo or Agnes or anyone to her?"

"No of course not, you asked me not to and besides I know not every one has the same open mindedness to the afterlife as I do."

Anna looked down ashamed. The world was upside down. Dadu was probably a baby lama in Peru. _Was everything the human mind could conceive possible? Or did the human heart perceive the truths of the Universe yet struggle to understand them._ She didn't know. All she knew was that life; afterlife included was a spectrum of dazzling colours. _Nothing is black and white._

She remembered the photos. "These photos were in her poetry folder," said Anna simply.

"Surely you jest, madam?" cried Dylan.

"Oh Dylan you know I don't have much of a sense of humour or that much imagination," sighed Anna.

"Touché doll face, personal insights in every direction. We might need a group hug to finish off our therapy session." He opened up his arms and cocked his head coyishly to one side. "Cuddle me," he said like a creepy talking dolly.

"Shut up Dylan."

"When does Kelsey come back from up North?"

"Monday afternoon."

"Well, we will find out then."

"We could text or email her."

Jacqui whipped out her mobile phone. She tapped the cracked glass. "Oh dear," she cried, "I have nomophobia—I'm having withdrawals. I feel a bit shaky and headachy."

"Me too! I can smell smoke," wheezed Dylan. "Comrade, are you with us Leo?" He spoke into the void of the room.

"He isn't here," replied Anna. "My heart isn't doing stunt aerobatics."

Leo's last angry words still echoed in her brain and she fell silent.

"The smell is coming from the outside."

The three of them looked out the window and saw Liam searching for a dry spot on the verandah; he had lit up a smoke outside as Natalie had forbidden him from smoking in the house. He had his heavy fluro orange work jacket on and was unshaven. He was talking to another man, his friend Michael. They had only met him once or twice. He was a bearded tubby man wearing a heavy woollen striped jumper.

Dylan looked at the pair through the broken glass. "OMG, those two need a visit from the fashion police, that woolly sheep sweater is a crime. Needs to be locked up where it can't hurt delicate lambs like me."

Anna rapped on the window and Liam burst into a big grin. He stubbed out his cigarette and carefully hid the butt in Nat's succulent pot plant. Finding butts made Kevin crazy and Natalie weepy.

"Let's go and eat, peeps," said Jacqui wearily.

Natalie was at the front door, "Come in, come in Liam and meet your new niece." She teared up and hugged him fiercely. The homebrew had dulled her senses as she clung steadfast to his dripping wet work coat.

The kitchen was a warm haven as laughter and food were shared. The table was laden with curries and casseroles. Natalie had toyed with the idea of making a Lemon Delicious pudding from scratch when she sampled Nina's deep fried fish balls. But then slipped out of the room to her secret Tim Tam hidey-hole and retrieved four packets and a box of Cadbury Roses.

The chatter stopped when Arun stood up, glass in hand. Arun was a man of few words. He toasted Jacqui and her safe return and praised her sweet caring nature. He toasted Anna for facilitating a cosmic reunion between his father and himself.

Dylan was busy surreptitiously sipping poorly guarded glasses of home brew.

"What was the problem anyway with Dadu?" He shouted in a tipsy voice as grains of rice escaped his mouth. "What was all that I've caused you a lot of trouble stuff about?"

Nina froze and looked tentatively at Arun. She nodded her head. Arun was silent for a moment and then responded.

"When my mother died in 1992 of lung cancer in Kolkata, (Liam squirmed in his seat) my father was very sad, very sad." Arun paused. He bit his bottom lip hard. "Indeed, my mother's untimely death nearly destroyed him. Nina and I had just met and my lovely Nina was a great source of support for me." He stopped to wipe a very large salty tear away and looked lovingly at his wife.

"Thakurda... Dadu threw himself into his work but when he retired he became very lonely and depressed. He took up with an actress who managed to connive her way to the deeds of our ancestral family home. Our Paitrik Bari. We lost everything." His voice cracked, "This is why I grew to distrust the acting profession. I was furious. Nina and I planned on imigrating to Perth but Grandfather was so destitute and alone, Nina insisted that he travel with us and teach again. This is how we reached our unhappy truce for his remaining years."

"No fool like an old fool," said Kevin solemnly shaking his head. Natalie kicked him under the table.

Anna wondered why Arun didn't speak more often. His deep melodic voice had a soothing presence.

"However, if it had not been for my quick thinking son, who is a very fine actor, the finest of actors I dread to think what would have happened tonight. To Dylan," Arun raised his glass and led the praise on Dylan's police impersonation.

Kevin, who was not to be outdone in his own kitchen, stood up and toasted Leo for giving his life for his country and his extra sensory perceptiveness but he wished he didn't stink so much. Natalie kicked him under the table.

"Who is Leo?" asked Liam.

"Our intern ghost," replied Beth.

"Okay, cool," replied Liam, reaching for more bread.

Kevin toasted Bubba who he was going to name himself if the pair of them didn't get themselves sorted soon. He was quite hurt no one had thought of his mother's name, Prudence Loretta. He really enjoyed this grand parenting thing and asked Liam when he was going to meet a girl and give him some more grandbabies.

"Sit down Kev," said Nat, pulling him into his chair.

Arun bounced back up, "I would like to say one more thing." Nina held his shirt tightly and looked up into his face. "I want to say again how proud I am of my son, and I support him, in his, in his lifestyle choices." Arun's velvety voice choked.

Kevin bounced back up, "Everybody raise your glass in honour of Dylan." Dylan was popping the last rissole into his mouth. His eyes popped out of his head. He coughed and spluttered flecks of mince everywhere.

"Life style choices! What life style choice are you talking about?"

"Oh My God." Dylan put his freshly manicured hand on his chest. "You all think I'm gay. I'm not gay! Sure I enjoy a bit of cross-dressing, it stopped me from being the skinny Indian boy useless at sport. And now it helps me get into character. Actually, it's very time consuming and I am starting to lose interest in it these days. Not one of you noticed I have purchased runners and some jeans that give me and my chums room to breathe. Points and heels are really constricting. I need to be free."

Dylan plopped his foot up onto the table. It was clad in a bright fluro pink and black sneaker.

"Are you sure you're not gay?" whispered Nina.

"Mummy! Not you too! I was watching that Heath Ledger movie, you know the gay cowboy one and I realised, I realised that I am straight. I always suspected so. I tried to push it away. I can't stop thinking about Michelle Williams. She is mesmerising. She is a peach, just gorgeous. I found the other stuff, well not for me. Saddest day of my life to discover I am a boring old heterosexual."

"What about your fascination with this Davis Lowie?" asked Nina as she peered into his glittering eye socket.

"You mean David Bowie? Sadly he discovered he was a heterosexual too. He is the master of image, intelligence and imagination. He reinvents himself every few years while still being David. He is my role model—performer, fashionista, actor, singer, songwriter and musician. He is one very sexy chameleon and he is married and has kids, Mummy."

Nina reached for the chocolates, not convinced. Anna and Jacqui looked at each other and sighed. They would not get much research done on Leo tonight. Tonight's topic of conversation would include _A study of Dylan Ray, my love of eyeshadow and boobs... y_ et again.

Kevin slapped Arun on the back and then went to the fridge to find the ginger ale.  
Liam stood up.

"I would like to say a few words."

"Well make it short," said Kev looking at his watch. "The football is about to start on the telly." Arun had started filling up his plate again to take in front of the TV.

"I would just like to say I'm glad you two got back together. Grats on the baby. I am glad I am an Uncle, kinda makes me feel grown up. It kinda makes me realise how important family and stuff is. So I need to tell you all that Michael is my boyfriend." Liam sat down and continued eating.

The ginger beer slipped from Kev's hand, bounced on the floor and sprayed sweet gingery liquid on every one.

Natalie looked at Kevin. He clutched his heart as his face turned the tell tale beetroot again. Anna and Beth leapt up and starting cleaning. Deepak jumped up and started mopping the floor with an old tea towel. He smiled at Anna. In all the confusion, Anna felt herself redfaced but smiling back at him.

"Did you know this?" Natalie nodded her head slightly.

"How long have you known?"

"Not long Kev, only six months."

"Why doesn't any one tell me anything," roared Kevin. The wormy veins in his neck were cart-wheeling.

"I can't think why Dad," said Beth drolly.

Suddenly Larry and Lottie went crazy and scrambled for the back door.

"It is Leo," said Anna.

"Who is Leo again?" asked Liam.

"He is a ghost trapped in the green room," answered Beth.

"Okay, cool," said Liam as he swiped four Tim Tams.

Bubba started to cry.

Nina clapped her hands together, "May I meet Leo? Arun, would you like to meet Leo?"

"I'd love to." Arun held out his hand for his wife. She blushed and giggled.

"What a good idea," said Blake quickly. "I would love to meet Leo too."

Natalie led the way while holding Kev's shell-shocked hand. Anna followed and the troops filed behind her.

"He may still be in a bad mood," Anna whispered to her mother.

"I will take that over your father having a heart attack on the kitchen floor," replied Nat, out of the corner of her mouth.

Anna stood at the door; she looked at Natalie who knocked very gently.

"Leo, love, we have found Jacqui." Jacqui was pushed to the front of the group.

Leo was sitting cross-legged in front of the empty cold fireplace.

"That's bonza news, thank God, is she okay?"

"Yes she is fine."

"Are you alright Leo?" Natalie sat on the ground next to him.

"Who is this mob?"

"Family and friends."

"What happened to Dylan? Did somebody finally deck him?"

"No." Anna turned and looked at Dylan's sparkly purple and green smudged butterfly eye.

"I hear Beth had a baby girl."

Natalie brought Bubba forward for Leo to admire; instead of cheering him up he became listless and sad.

"Beautiful baby," he touched her little pink cheek, Bubba gurgled happily.

"You seem very quiet today? Still upset about Jacqui?" Natalie asked.

"No, just Les and the others."

"Same old, same old then."

"Yep—same old, same old."

"You know I tried to help you but I couldn't raise a flower bed let alone a spirit who is happy in heaven."

Leo pointed a finger at Anna and smiled wanly, "This one here has a file on me as thick as a brick. All different kinds of information from chest measurement to God knows what else but I'm still here. I'm still here and I'm starting to feel weak and crumbly like old plaster or dried out dung. I'm just crumbling away, it's getting harder to manage the journey."

"Do you go back to the earth in France?"

"Yes. There were crowds of us at first but now there is just me and a very confused German fellow named Fred who never shuts up. He got put in the wrong cemetery. By jingo, he is good at cards, Gin Rummy is his game but he spends a lot of time playing Solitaire. I don't understand a bloody word he says... and we can confirm I was K I A on the 'field'. Wasn't that a big surprise," he said in an almost nasty voice.

"Can't you read the signs around there," asked Natalie.

"I can't read English, let alone bloody French! Anyways, it's not about facts, it's about here." He pointed to his own chest. "Since Jacqui did a runner I have worked out... it's how you feel that is important. The feelings are trapping me."

"What sort of feelings?" asked Nat softly.

"Feeling guilty and just not knowing what really happened," a small phantom tear ran down his face and splashed into nothingness.

"What is he saying Anna?" said Kevin loudly.

"He is lonely and weak and probably clinically depressed."

"You know what you have to do," whispered Jacqui to Anna.

"But you are hurt." The red mark on Jacqui's face was turning deep purple. "You must feel shattered... how about tomorrow?" stalled Anna.

"I am fine, the drugs are kicking in. Please Anna, we must do this now."

"I know what I have to do but I'm afraid. Last time when we wanted Les, we got Leo. What if I make another mistake? What if it doesn't work? Then Leo's heart really will break."

"It can't be rebroken Anna," said Leo.

"We are all here together; it will be different this time."

"What's going on?" said Kev.

Dylan turned to the group and said, "Dad, grab a couple of extra chairs. Everybody sit down. Anna you sit in the middle, Mrs. Grey you sit next to her, Mummy you sit on the right of her. Beth, you can see shadow ghosts, come and hold Mummy's hand. I really feel if you ladies lock forces anything can happen. Jacqui, please bring forth the photo of Les and place it in front of Anna. Mr. Grey, would you be so good as to light these candles. Now everyone hold hands."

Kevin tried not to look at Liam placing his hand on Michael's.

Dylan found the atmosphere thrilling and wondered whether he should branch out into directorship. "Seven out of ten of you are wearing track pants and three of those are coupling the look with Uggs and slippers," he whined. "Mummy," he exclaimed, "Why don't you chant a mantra to cleanse the atmosphere and neutralise the polar fleece?"

Nina closed her eyes and started chanting. Jacqui, Natalie and Beth joined in slowly. Their voices merged into one soothing sonorous vibration. Leo grew relaxed and calm and stood up from the fireplace. His mood became so buoyant that he tweaked Kev on the nose. Kev snuffled and twitched as he shooed away a giant imaginary mosquito.

Nina paused. Natalie continued.

"Dear Lord,

We thank you for the gift of Bubba and the countless blessings you have bestowed on our families. We ask you to guide us through this experience. Please give Leo the resolution he desires. Please allow him to move through to the next stage, as ninety-six years in no man's land is purgatory enough.

Amen."

"It's showtime," whispered Dylan as he took his place next to Jacqui.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

All the Days are Nights

"Leslie Robert McNamara!"

There was a long demoralizing pause. Kevin scrunched one eye shut while the other darted around, surveying the room. Bouncing psychedelic spots were already moving into Anna's vision. The atmosphere pulsated like a surging amplifier, crackling around the table. Nina's black long hair began to stand up, Nat's nose glowed red, Kevin's eyelids flicked open and Arun had sweat trickling its way down his triple chin. Bubba opened her eyes and surveyed the group.

"Do your thing gals, I'm getting itchy." Nina narrowed her eyes at Dylan as her hair crackled loudly.

"Quit moving Dylan, you're like a rabbit with worms mate," growled Deepak. He returned his gaze to Anna. She smiled and looked away.

Dylan sniggered back, "Sorry, m-a-t-e."

"Deepayan Roychowdhury! Hold your tongue boy," hissed Nina.

Leo sat on the chaise with his hat in his hand and studied Anna. All his hopes were pinned on this young girl. She was going to make it happen, he was depending on her... she was an unexpected lifeline and he was grabbing it with both hands. Confidence buoyed him on but he had been waiting so long he was not sure what he was going to say. He almost felt shy... just like the eight year old boy again looking, through the windowpane at two cocky teenage boys.

Anna locked eyes with Leo momentarily and then cast her gaze back down to the table. She had taken Les' photo out of her wallet and turned it over. She knew whose handwriting it was. _Les' of course.... caught up in the middle of something but what?_ She had studied the firm hand on the Internet. She stared hard at it for many minutes as she let the pictures Leo created of him flood her own memories.

Finally, she spoke again into the cold crisp room.

"Uncle Les, I have been doing a bit of research on you. You are online you know. I guess that doesn't mean much to you. Your mate Leo Nolan and your Great niece Natalie have filled me in on what you were like. Sounds like you were a real gentleman... a very good fellow. I know you are at Peace and I really hate to bother you but we have a bit of a problem here on Earth. Your mate Leo can't move on. He can't join you in Eternity? Or wherever you are? He has got something he needs to say to you and I suspect, to someone else." Anna paused.

"He caught sight of you in 1978, the year of your death. He chickened out on approaching you as your mother had forbidden it and Agnes had kept her rules." _As fun suckers_ _often do,_ she sighed deeply. "I don't know the whole story, but I suspect you do. Leo really needs you, he says he feels like he is disintegrating and soon he will be nothing. Even though he is an annoying immature pain in the bum, he deserves Peace too. We all need answers. Please come and say hello and clear up a few things."

The room remained calm and still. Slowly, a warm spicy scent tickled the air. Kevin shut his eyes and inhaled deeply. "I know that smell, it's Brylcreem. The room smells like my childhood." Kevin was overwhelmed with nostalgia and sheer terror.

"Les always slicked back his hair with Brylcreem," said Natalie teary eyed.

A little old man appeared by the fireplace. His crutches stood against the wall.

"What is all the fuss about Natsy?"

"Oh Uncle Les, thank you, thank you so much for coming. I have someone here who wants to speak to you."

Leo stood up and ran towards Les but stopped short. They both shyly wondered what constituted a manly spectral reunion.

"Les, how is it going old mate?" offered Leo.

"Can't complain." Les' eyes glistened with kindness. Leo looked deeply into his aged brown eyes. The muddy iris became a shiny chestnut. The whites whitened and the red broken blood vessels flickered and evaporated. The few strands of slicked back thinning hair grew and rose up from his head like a fresh crusty loaf. The wrinkles tightened and smoothed and the hair up his nose retracted back into his head. His grey cardigan morphed into an AIF uniform.

They shook hands enthusiastically. Les slapped Leo on the back. "Hello you old bastard. How are you?"

"A lot better than you are by the looks of it," replied Leo.

"Rubbish, I'm a spring chicken." Uncle Les back flipped forward and backwards.

"What is happening?" asked Kev.

"They have reunited after ninety five years, now be quiet Dad," snapped Anna.

Dylan's quivering lip gave way and he sobbed, "I am so touched, I am getting a headache with the joy." A high-pitched hiccup followed.

"Touched in the head?" Les nodded in Dylan's direction. Dylan wiped his tears on his shoulder like a cocky preening his chest.

"Oh that is Dylan, he is all right. He is one sandwich short of a picnic but his heart is in the right place."

"Now what's this all about?"

"I'm sorry Les, I'm sorry." Leo hadn't counted on feeling so goofy.

He had watched thousands of restless souls slip away to the light and wondered why he remained so stuck. Stuck with the weight of broken memories and fragmented images. And then great voids of nothingness would pass, years and years flashed by like the distant rattling of gunfire. ' _All the days are nights_ ,' her voice whispered to him, _'Until we meet again.'_ The memory of her last caress left him with longing and certainty.

Then he would emerge out of the nothingness, the black hole and he would remember what he was. _It's Les I need. Les will help me. Les will set me straight_. He became determined to communicate with him but all he found were resentful relatives and Les... lonely and broken. And now here was Les before him, good as new.

"For what mate? For what?" questioned Les.

"You know," he nodded his head in the direction of Les' legs. They were perfectly strong and clothed in leather puttees.

"No, I don't."

Leo pointed to his legs.

"It's my fault you spent your life unable to walk or run or dance or cartwheel or play cricket or ride a horse. You lived a shadow life, a lonely shadow life, thanks to me. It really weighs on me."

"Well bugger me, all this time I was blaming the Kaiser and the crummy krauts."

"You know what I mean, you left the Light Horse for me and came to France. Then you followed me to every battlefield I moved to. You kept an eye out for me, always. You should have still been in Egypt when the shells came down."

"Oh yes and Egypt was a walk in the park, wasn't it. All tea and crumpets and sarcophaguses." Les sighed.

"How did you do it?"

"I told the Officers the truth, you were underage and in a pickle and if they didn't take me on strength as well, I would blow the whistle. Once an Officer is informed a soldier is underage, he is supposed to send you home. It meant losing a very good soldier like you. I wished to God I had sent you home. You have nothing, nothing to be sorry for Leo... I have **your** blood on my hands."

"Ahh don't be bloody stupid mate, you looked after me," smiled Leo. "I would have died of embarrassment if I was sent home."

"I guarantee you would not have, little mate. Agnes told me you were sorry, she told me that night at my wake. She said you were awful sorry for the trouble you caused and at the end of the day—it wasn't trouble... it was just life, life being lived and life being taken."

"Deep and meaningful Uncle Les," whispered Anna.

All efforts at lightheartedness evaporated.

"I remember... now," whispered Leo. "The last thing I remember is seeing your legs all bloodied and twisted. And you are screaming and trying to crawl forward toward me. You are screaming. Pat and Bill grab you under the arms and drag you away from me. Pat's fingers are missing. Bill is trying to talk to you, he is shouting. But I can't hear the words and neither can you. I doubt if Bill can hear himself." Les sat down on the chaise. Leo continued on, "Then he belts you across the face and you pass out."

"What happened next?" asked Les.

"I follow you... I follow you... I try and help the boys carry you. I try to grab your legs but I can't do it. I reach out but nothing happens—I don't understand. I don't understand... I know you must be in great pain because you are shouting and screaming."

"Couldn't feel a thing mate, not a thing, I was screaming because I was hysterical. I had just seen you come a gutser."

"I died."

"Yes, you were blown to smithereens in front of my eyes. You went into the air as my mate Leo and came down in raggedy pieces. The pieces landed everywhere. It was raining Leo. I had your blood on my hands and a bit of your brain and eyeball too." Les attempted a weak smile at his lame joke.

Sweat trickled down Anna's face as she struggled to listen to Leo's words. They hovered on the far edge of her conciousness.

"I wanted to get you and put you back together for Daisy... Every time I closed my eyes for the next sixty years, the image of you being blown apart hit me." Les cleared his throat and attempted to change the subject. "You visited me on and off for years didn't you? I couldn't see you. Sometimes I could make out your tall shadow but I could always smell you, Woodbines and burning flesh."

"You would sit in your chair and drink a bottle of Emu Bitter and then you would start talking to me like you knew I was there."

"Wasn't sure at first. I wondered if I was talking to myself but hoped I wasn't. I wondered if I was going crazy. Crazy drunk or just plain insane, I wondered if I would end up in Claremont in a bed next to Bill, especially after you scratched out the word, 'SORRY' in front of me in the winter of 1921. You spelt it wrong— SORREE. Thought you were a bloody Frenchie ghost for a minute. Scared the shit out of me. Then I remembered your love of the King's English and spelling."

They both laughed. "Daisy was the one for spelling."

"Di Bill come good?" asked Leo.

"He had a stint in Claremont. Shellshock and body bits will do that to a man. They called it war neurosis. Didn't have a mark on him but he wasn't right in the head for a long time. Used to get a very funny look on his face and couldn't leave the house for days on end."

"What happened to Patrick?"

"Oh Piano man Pat. Lost his hand up to his forearm but he could still bang out a tune on the old piano. He got married but it didn't last. He was a bit more chipper; he was always cracking jokes, like this one. Why did the one handed man cross the road?" he winked at Nat and Anna.

"No idea," said Anna.

"To get to the second hand shop."

Leo bent over with laughter, "That's a corker, Les."

"How do you get a one handed Irish man out of a tree?"

"You wave to him, everyone knows that one," said Anna.

Les raised his eyebrows and made a face at her.

"Don't worry about her Les, she has a pineapple up her bum."

"A pineapple!! Now that is a bloody cracker Leo."

"She needs a cracker up her— "

"That will do Leo," said Natalie sharply.

Both laughed, sighed soberly and looked at each other.

"I guess you want to hear the rest of the story."

Les walked over to Bubba and moved the blanket, "What a bonnie babe!"

Bubba gurgled contentedly.

"Please Les, what happened to Daisy? I followed you home but she was gone and Agnes wouldn't say a word to me? I couldn't feel Daisy anywhere."

Leo turned to Natalie and Anna.

"Daisy was having my baby, that's why I wanted to go to the war."

"I knew it!" shouted Natalie.

"I felt it," whispered Anna.

"A soldier's wage was better than what I was earning mucking out horse stables. No offence Les."

"None taken mate."

"And if we got married, three fifths of it would be sent to her and my bub. I already had my army papers telling the state I was twenty-two but Daisy had just finished school and everyone around town knew she was Old Man Mc Namara's sixteen year old daughter. Daisy needed permission and a parent's signature to get married. Mary Ellen and the Old Man were scandalized. Wouldn't budge. Said I had ruined Daisy's chance of going to University or College and taken away her good name. I had ruined her life. Hell would freeze over before they signed her over to a stable boy. So I decided to join the army."

"I started to suspect something was up when your beloved bestie, Les punched you in the head. You got his sister pregnant!" interjected Nat. Anna nodded her head and whispered, "Me to!"

Les sat down. "It was a terrible shock for me, a real shock. When Leo turned up at the train station all set with his kit ready for Guildford I wondered what in blazes was going on. When he told me he was in a bit of pickle with my little sister... well I lost my temper. Daisy was at home telling Ma and the Old Man about the baby."

"I feel frightened for her and nearly one hundred years have passed," shivered Natalie. The four of them turned and looked at the ticked off portrait of Mary Ellen staring down at them. Leo was silent.

"Poor old Daisy endured Mum's wrath. Aggie told me later Mum wanted to send Daisy back to her sister in Melbourne. There she could have the baby adopted out to a cousin who was childless and then continue her studies but Daisy refused to budge," said Les.

"Good for her," said Nat as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Daisy ended up packing her bag and moving in across the road with Mrs. Nolan, your Ma... Mum went crazy and reckoned Mrs. Nolan had never been married. She had never seen a man around and that they were a couple of fallen women together and how fitting was that... I know it broke Mum's heart, she just had a funny way of showing it."

Leo stomped around the room, trying not to curse his mate's mother to Hell.

"Broken heart or anger management issues?" mumbled Anna, feeling drained.

"But Daisy wouldn't budge, she was waiting for you to return and then the three of you could be a family. Mrs. Nolan said she would take care of the baby if Daisy wanted to study after the war. She hung on for months. Mum wouldn't go out any more in case she saw the scarlet women."

"That is a bit harsh," said Nat.

"It put Aggie in a terrible bind. Aggie would make a big fuss about how she was going to see her dear sister across the road and would any one care to join her or was she the only Christian in the house. Everyday Mum would tell Agnes don't bother coming home and everyday day on her return, nothing was said and they would prepare dinner in silence. Maybe things might have turned around but when Daisy was due to have the baby, things changed for the worse. It was the start of June and it was freezing. They didn't have Leo or me around to help. Mrs. Nolan's chest was bad and she had one of those terrible coughing attacks and died. Died in Daisy's arms. Daisy was beside herself with grief. Agnes and my sisters went to the funeral but Mum, the Old Man and the boys stayed away."

"How hurtful," whispered Nat.

"Don't you mean how rude?" said Anna, fighting to stay conscious but needing to have her say.

"Well Daisy thought it was rude too. After the funeral, she walked in the front door and blasted them. She cursed them to high heaven. She said she would go to Melbourne after all because she didn't want her child near a pack of self-righteous arseholes. Mum was terribly sorry. Agnes thought the Old Man would roar at her but he didn't. He sat at this table with his head in his hands. Mum begged her to stay. Agnes begged her to let her go with her but she said no. She packed up her few remaining things and she left with the few bob Leo had saved for her. That was the last time Agnes saw her."

"Wow, how many years passed... did they communicate at all? So sad."

"Oh they were in constant contact. She wrote Agnes a letter every week and Agnes replied. Agnes got a telegram that the baby was a boy and they had settled for the time being. She had taken a room with a kind family from Church. She was waiting for Leo and when he returned they would marry, move and start afresh."

"But now you go and get blown up," said Anna, the words tumbled out before she could stop them but she quickly added, "For which I am truly sorry... the rich and random tapestry of life... it sucks sometimes. I'm sorry Uncle Les... go on."

Her voice was barely audible.

"It was Agnes who received the telegrams. One was addressed to the Old Man regarding my injury and the other was addressed to Mrs. Angelika Nolan concerning you. The young lad didn't want to leave it with Agnes as the news had to go to the next of kin. Aggie explained there was nobody left and the boy handed it over, probably in a hurry to deliver his large sack of telegrams. Agnes gave mine to the Old Man and opened yours. She knew something bad must have happened to both of us and prayed for the Lord to give her strength. She opened it. It was a pink slip of paper.

' _Private Leopold Reginald Nolan was K I A on the 21st of March 1918 in France.'_ The few words were typed in rushed uneven letters. The crooked typing upset Agnes, she wished they had taken just a bit of care. She was very fussy, our Agnes." Les smiled feebly and continued on.

"Agnes said she felt the ground come up and smack her in the face. She wrote to Daisy and enclosed the telegram... Daisy wrote straight back. She asked Aggie to put a bereavement notice in the newspaper for you. I found Daisy's note later and kept it. I reread it a thousand times. It was supposed to go something like this:

_Pte Leopold Reginald Nolan of Brown Street East Perth, much loved son of Angelika and John Nolan (both deceased) was KILLED IN ACTION on the 21_ st _of March 1918 on active service in France. Dear friend to Private Lesley McNamara and Miss Agnes McNamara. Beloved fiancé to Miss Daisy McNamara, father to darling son Reginald Leopold Nolan. Inserted by his sorrowing fiancé Daisy McNamara. He is gone but never forgotten. Never shall his memory fade. RIP Nols._

Aggie said she had every intention of entering it word for word in the bereavement notices but Mum found the note and forbad her to write the words fiancé, father and son. Aggie said that Mum was so hysterical, she feared for her sanity. So she left out the words, which changed the meaning.

Daisy asked Aggie to send her a copy of the death notice, she did so but she was fearful of Daisy's response. Daisy took a month to write back. One night Agnes woke up crying in her sleep, she could feel Daisy's sadness and she knew she was in a bad way. Heartsick. Aggie begged her forgiveness for her weakness. Agnes was always one for feeling things deeply... Daisy replied less and less to Agnes's letters. I had returned from overseas now and was living back in Brown Street waiting for the repatriation. I couldn't work with horses again." Les attempted another halfhearted smile. Anna sensed Leo's sadness—it was physically hurting her. Les continued on. "Agnes fell into a depression. She said she was going to see Daisy and the baby. She said Daisy's letters were getting distant and more peculiar each week. She wrote to Daisy to let her know she was coming soon. I sent her this photo of Leo and I... as well as the one of Agnes and her. I thought it might help her remember the good times at Brown Street. Daisy telegrammed back and said she was getting married and not to come. She wanted to get on with her new life." Anna flicked open her eyes and looked hard into Leo's face. His expression was stunned.

Les soldiered on, acutely aware of the pain his words caused.

"Agnes was inconsolable for a time but Mum said it was for the best. Daisy had moved on and so should she. So Agnes threw herself into looking after Yours Truly here and making sure Miss Charlotte kept out of trouble. She helped Veronica with her babies and moved between sisters and brothers. Always ready to burp a baby, peel a potato or man the copper. She wrote to Daisy every month to tell her news of the family and Daisy replied. They got back on an even keel. She talked of her little boy but never mentioned her new husband. She never had any more babies."

The room fell silent. Leo stared at Beth, Blake and Bubba. Anna felt sick with his pain. Finally Natalie said, "Leo, are you okay. Leo?"

"Now what is going on?" said Kev getting slightly irritated.

"For heaven's sake, be quiet Kevin."

Les continued on.

"And I will tell you what else I also read a thousand times, Daisy's letters to you and me. She had addressed them to me, as she didn't want to embarrass you. She knew I would read them to you. Only problem was with us moving from the Light Horse to the artillery, the letters went astray, never made it to France. When I was discharged, I got a neat pile of letters from my sisters and brothers and Mum, of course. They were all there. Letter upon letter. I wasn't officially discharged until April in 1919 and by then... by then I thought it would only cause Daisy sorrow to know you hadn't received them. I never told her."

Les turned and looked intensely at Leo, "It was all there, telling you that your Ma had died. Telling you how the cricket was going, that East Perth had won the Premiership, to what kind of veggies she wanted you to plant when you got home. She had lists of baby names and all kinds of things."

Kevin started to sulk and then looked up alarmed. "The table is vibrating! It's bloody moving." The group stood up and kicked their chairs back as the table moved up past their noses and towered over them. It tipped and swayed as Leo's power was quickly sapped.

"Don't break the circle," shouted Natalie.

"Don't break my skull," screamed Dylan.

"Need some help mate?" Les stretched out his arms and pointed them at the table. The table ceased lurching. It settled down into a tiny wobble and eventually became firm and still, although it hung above their heads like a coffin lid.

"Thanks mate."

Leo stood under the centre of the table and pointed to faintly pencilled words.

There in Leo's immature handwriting were the words _Leo Loves Daisy, 1915._ Beneath that in Daisy's fine script, _Daisy and Leo Forever._

"Forever she said," whispered Leo.

"Forever is a long time Leo, you have to be practical. Daisy had a child to look after. Women didn't have the same advantages as men—" She was too tired to speak.

"Shut up Anna," said Dylan tearing up. Jacqui squeezed his hand, glared at Dylan and then glared at Anna.

"I was only trying to help." She shut her eyes and tears of exhaustion trickled down her face.

"The table," whispered Jacqui, "is the ultimate love letter... a vow of eternal love... so utterly beautiful."

Anna looked up at the table and remembered seeing Leo for the first time—he had been silently stroking the wood grain as if it were a loose dark curl slipping out of a hat.

Les silently lowered the table.

"Didn't you see the writing under the table when you were mending it?" Natalie asked Kevin.

"Just old fashioned squiggles and numbers to me, I ignored them."

Natalie sighed heavily.

"The last of the great romantics," quipped Les and winked at Natalie.

"Yep."

Les continued on, "Years later when Mum and Dad died, Agnes and I packed up the house in Brown Street. We took the table apart. We were going to store it in Dan's garage. He didn't want it in his house and Veronica and Charlotte had homes with tables of their own. I lived in a tiny flat and Agnes still divided her time between our sisters' homes."

Les looked at Leo, "When Agnes read your words, she cried and cried and raved on how she promised Ma she would not speak to you. Seeing as you had been dead for nine years, I thought there was no fear of that but every chance that Aggie was losing her marbles. She would make sure the table went to whom it rightly belonged and stuff the husband. Dan paid for the shipment of the table to Daisy's Melbourne address."

"Not like him to be generous."

"Well he got so wealthy in the mines, postage was a pittance to him."

"Good on him," said Leo flatly.

Les looked at him expectantly, Leo shook himself and said, "Thanks Les mate, thanks for that... very good of you to come and see me. It is good to know the truth."

"Are you giving me the wind up... here's your hat, what's your hurry? You kicking me out the door?" laughed Les kindly.

"Course not mate," Leo replied as he stared out the window at the pounding rain.

Les' attention wandered over to the group and he honed in on a bottle in front of Kev, "Hmm is that home brew?" Les picked up Kevin's drink and examined the bottle then sniffed deeply. Kevin made little frightened meowing noises and started to choke on his own saliva.

"My old friend, Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze, Mr. Booze, go away Mr. Booze." Les moved the bottle over his shoulder and out of his sight. "Where are you going Mr. Booze? Come back, come back."

Leo echoed the last sentence and smiled weakly. He had heard it before in the recesses of Les's darkened room as he struggled to quell his pain. Leo knew his legs ached and his heart was heavy.

Les placed the bottle back down on the table. A small splash escaped the stubby and landed on Kevin.

"Bbbb, Beer... gone warm. It's hot... like a cuppa."

"You're alright Kevin love," soothed Natalie.

Leo shook himself and moved away from the window.

"I thought I might try joining you," Leo attempted to sound jolly.

"Bonza idea mate!"

Les tipped his hat at Natalie, "Always a pleasure Natsy. Miss Anna, wonderful to make your acquaintance. And to all you folks, a very good evening."

He grabbed Leo's arm and dissipated. Leo remained. His face was expressionless.

"You coming?"

"I can't, I can't do it. I'm still bloody stuck."

Leo pointed a finger at a vase of roses on the sideboard. It exploded into shards of glass. Petals dripped mournfully down from the ceiling.

"Watch your temper fella. Come on, you can do it. I know you can."

"Not more glass," groaned Natalie.

He tried again.

Les looked at Leo, "Once you cross over, it requires oceans of energy to cross back. Where we are going, it's a place so perfect that you will never want to leave... we fizzle and spark and find ourselves dissolving... almost nestling into all the corners of the Universe. There is no need for words in fact, words are old fashioned," he smiled at the laptop sitting idly on the buffet. "Mostly we just... are... we are suspended in light, caught in a whisper... floating in a bubble. Our stories remain but our pain is forgotten... so coming back... well it's a bit of an effort." Les laughed at his own musings, shook himself and looked earnestly at Leo once more, "You ready for that?"

"I think I am going to faint," whispered Anna. The blackness closed in as her head hit the table with a crack.

Leo turned to face Anna, "You okay?"

Les raised his eyebrows in concern, "I think that was my cue to leave... It's too much for her." Les bowed deeply to Natalie and walked through the window and disappeared into the stormy night.

The table of friends released their grip. Natalie ran out into the kitchen for a wet flannel, a stiff drink of cordial and a handful of chocolates for Anna. Kevin scooped her up and placed her lovingly on the chaise.

"What is happening? Did it work? Is Leo still here coz it still stinks," squeaked Dylan breathlessly.

"I'm still here," said Leo forlornly to no one but himself.

Anna opened her eyes and reached out to Leo. He crouched by her side and whispered, "Please give everyone my thanks. Thank you for trying to give me a send off but I had better get going. There is a card game going on with my fritzy friend Frederic. By the way what does arschloch mean?"

"He is gone." Anna relayed the rest of his message to the table.

"It means dickhead," said Blake shyly, "I was an exchange student to Munich 2001... apparently I was one."

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Happy Place

"Are you sure you can do this?" asked Anna.

They had come back to the house in Fisher road. Jacqui sat on the crumbling half brick fence flanked by Anna and Dylan. Anna watched a rusty gate screech half-heartedly in the breeze. Jacqui stared at the knee-high weeds that had knotted with a runaway lantana. Thistles poked their heads up in the broken cracks of the driveway.

"Look," said Dylan, as a Mac wrapper tumbled past. "The golden arches upside down make a giant W. W for wanker."

"I'm never eating Maccas again," murmured Jacqui.

"In the words of a wise young man; Never Say Never."

"Who said that? Solomon Beiber?" grimaced Anna.

The three of them watched Kelsey's taxi pull up over a clump of dandelion heads. The jolt released white hairy seeds and the three of them watched them spiral up into the Universe while some floated down to rest on Dylan's hair. They stuck to his purple waves like twinkling diamantes in a veil.

Kelsey's face shone with pleasure as she caught sight of Jacqui. Her smile dimmed as Jacqui mutely picked up one of Kelsey's bags and followed her into the house.

Anna and Dylan waited.

They caught the word, "No." It was followed by the sound of the two girls crying.

"She has told her," said Anna softly.

Tenderly, she leaned forward and picked the fluffy clumps out of Dylan's hair. They waited in silence.

Jacqui led Kelsey down the driveway with her unopened suitcase trolley trailing behind her. Jacqui carried a large cardboard box. Kelsey's face was in a spasm of pain as she stared at Anna and Dylan with open hostility.

Anna stayed quiet, scared of her chronic foot in mouth disease, she could feel " _Better off without him... and anyway, what were you doing with the creep?"_ stomping impatiently on her tongue. It was Dylan who took the lead. Silently, he gathered Jacqui and Kelsey into a bear hug. When he released them, he straightened up and said, "Well dolls, who is for a bite to eat? Maccas is off the menu. Apparently we are never eating there again. I know! Let's have sushi. In fact, I am dying for a chicken teriyaki Californian roll."

Kelsey looked confused and then her face softened. "I have never had sushi before."

"You are going to love it, dollface."

Kelsey moved forward and kept in step with Dylan as he led the way to the bus stop.

"I don't eat a lot of different food."

"Have you ever had a Kosha Mangsho?"

Kelsey shook her head.

"Oh, but you must try it. My mother makes the best Mangsho in the whole world. You are in for a real treat."

Kelsey looked gratefully at Dylan then turned around and smiled bashfully at Anna.

Anna was surprised at how quiet and thoughtful Kelsey was. Her turquoise hair and pierced nose only temporarily camouflaged her very lady like and gentle manner.

Jacqui looked at Anna and then softly said to Kelsey, "Anna has a house guest at the moment. I think you would like him."

Kelsey recoiled, "I think I am having a break after Pig Man." She looked slyly at Dylan, "Good name for him," but her attempt to snort daintily ended up in gulpy tears. Dylan patted her back and Jacqui stroked her hair as she regained her composure.

Jacqui frowned, "Mmm... not quite what I was thinking. He is a little old for you," she said in a meaningful way. It had turned out that Callum was thirty-nine and an aging predator as well as a pig.

Anna pulled the two photographs out of her bag, "I'm sorry I took these photos out of your writing folder. I am really sorry, I had no intention of stealing them I was just very surprised because well, you see, they looked very familiar to me." She pulled out the dishevelled frames containing Les and Leo and Agnes and Daisy. Kelsey frowned and shook her head, "What is going on? Is this a practical joke," she gasped.

"NO!" said Jacqui emphatically, sensing her dismay.

"No, back up the truck sister, you are jumping ahead of yourself. Sometimes I jump ahead of myself and I can see my own bottom—it's a perfect peach BTW," laughed Dylan.

"These are my family copies of the same people. I'm just wondering how you come to have my family in your possession?" she asked.

"Your family? All I know is that woman there with her head turned is my Great Great Grandmother, Daisy I think her name was. I have no idea who the others are. I presumed they were her relatives of some kind. My Great Grandfather wants me to research them for him."

"You are almost right. The other lady in the photo is her sister, Agnes McNamara. The man sitting down is their brother Leslie and the man standing up," Anna's voice faltered, "the man standing up was Daisy's true love. Leopold Reginald Nolan."

"You're kidding? That can't be, our family name is Knowles. I'm Kelsey Mary Knowles."

"Knowles and Nolan? A Dickensian coincidence, I think not," said Dylan triumphantly. "Perhaps Daisy tweaked the names?"

"Mr. Reginald Knowles who lives down the street and is the benefactor of the oak table, just celebrated his ninety six birthday. Is that a Dickensian coincidence as well?" Anna added suspiciously. The enormity of her discovery was beginning to hit her.

"Hey, he is my Great Grandfather, Rex Knowles. Guys, I am really struggling here. What does this all mean?" asked Kelsey. "What are you saying?"

"We are saying we would like you to meet Anna's housemate," said Jacqui. "He could do with cheering up. Look at me, I'm shaking again." Her hand wobbled in the chilly wind.

"I'm getting chills up and down my spine, I think you have done it Anna," said Dylan in awe.

"You have really pretty blues eyes, they're ALMOST one of a kind," laughed Anna as pure joy surged through her body.

Kelsey looked confused but she found herself trusting this odd trio.

"First, we will provide you with a full update while we eat soft serve, I must have my soft serve cone. Never mind the Maccas ban. The manufactured goodness is a soothing balm to the distressed and confused mind, let's go dolls."

Dylan held out his hand to Kelsey who hesitantly took it.

Jacqui and Anna glanced at each other and smiled.

"What are you like at suspending reality? It's my specialty and I would be very happy to give you some tips because you are gonna freak girlfriend."

Kelsey looked startled.

"Ooh, I meant girlfriend as in sister as in gal pal as in chum as in friend as in acquaintance as in someone I met an hour ago." Dylan's face burst into his very first brilliant red blush.

"Awkward Dyl," mouthed Jacqui.

Dylan drew on all his theatrical experience to overcome his embarrassment, studying his mobile phone apps with forced enthrallment.

"Anyway, in the suspension of reality, one must have a happy place to go. Where is your happy place?" he asked kindly.

Kelsey looked at him blankly. Anna wondered by the tone of her poems and the company she kept, if Kelsey had experienced much happiness.

"You know... happy place. A memory where you feel safe and loved," prompted Dylan gently.

Kelsey continued to look at him blankly and then she broke into a wide grin.

"That is easy, Fish and chips on the beach with my little nephews Cameron and James. Cam is three and James is one. They are two little fat angels. I love them. They make me laugh. I have just finished visiting with them."

"Well dear acquaintance, that is your happy place from where you can travel far and wide."

Jacqui and Anna softly hummed, " _If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go,"_ as they trailed behind the two.
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

A Wondersome Feeling

Anna sat by herself at the old oak table and attempted to draft a history essay. She was using some big words and hoped she didn't baffle Mr Trigwell too much. _Just enough to have him running to the dictionary every thirty seconds._

Her mind was on Leo. The image of his distraught face was burnt into her brain. Every time she closed her eyes, his sad blue eyes wavered before her. Leo was gutted, his decades old plan Operation LES had failed and he thought his girl had moved on. But Les was wrong and while his was busy connecting with the Universe and all its nooks and crannies and communing with his family in the afterlife, somewhere and somehow, a fact called Leo had been overlooked. Anna felt baffled... and annoyed.

"Where are your friends?" said a voice from above her head.

"Hello Leo, haven't seen you for a while?"

"Really, how long?"

"Fifty seven hours, it's the longest you have stayed away. Even Kev was getting worried. It's your P.B. "

"What?"

"Personal Best. Forget it."

"You okay?" She had so much to say but that was all that came out.

"Yep," he answered flatly. "Are you okay?"

"I am now, had to eat Milo straight from the tin afterwards but I'm fine."

"Where are your friends?" he asked again without any interest in the answer.

"I think Dylan is on a date... with a girl."

"Of course he is, all smoke and mirrors that boy."

"Where is Jacqui?"

"At therapy."

"What is that?"

"Talking to someone who can help when you feel down... you know... blue. They listen."

"Like us?"

Anna pushed back from the table and put down her pen.

"Leo, you are not my therapist."

She moved to the chaise and reached for the remote control.

"No," said Leo quickly, "you listen to me."

"You are still stuck here so I'm not doing a very good job," she said glumly. "But we are having a breakthrough," she rallied. She was about to tell him about her discovery but he wearily interjected, "Not another one? And anyways... how is Deepak?" he inquired with a smirk.

"Why do you ask?" Anna sat up straight and stared at Leo.

"No reason, I think he is a bit sweet on you, that's all."

Anna turned crimson, "Shut up Leo."

"He is a good bloke, he's got that great automobile and... he is alive."

They sat in an embarrassed silence.

"Hey," Leo suddenly piped up. After losing his dreams, he was eager not to lose his new friend—undetermined eternity would be insufferable without the refuge of the green room. "Have you ever seen a ghost before you met me?"

"I have been thinking about that. Mum said after she saw you she started wetting the... never mind... and when I was little I would occasionally... have a little problem during the nights. I thought I was having a strange dream but now I wonder if I was seeing... a spirit. The guy who owned the house before us had died in a diving accident. Dad bought the house and the contents. It was a deceased state bargain. I think the previous owner would sit dripping at the bottom of my bed in his wetsuit, smelling of abalone and the ocean. "Have you seen my fridge?" he asked, "I hid the key it in the freezer."

"Freezer?"

"Not important, I would wake up and I could feel the dampness, except it wasn't salt water. It was urine. Mine. One day I shouted, 'The fridge is in the garage now PISS OFF!' He shouted back, 'Thanks,' and I never saw him again."

"Anything else?"

"Not that I recognised as a ghost... I suppose I have had my head wired into devices... computers and books."

Leo laughed and then pointed to the papery pile of transcripts and documents.

"Thank you for listening to me. And you know... writing it all down. Makes me feel... I dunno... like... "

"Like you were really alive once and important and your story is out there in the Universe."

"Yes, that's it. That is exactly it. You would make a good therapist. I'm getting so weak and one day, one day I will disappear into nothing. And now I can accept that. It feels comforting that at least you know, once there was a boy called Leo."

Anna smiled and patted the towers of paper, "The Underaged Guide to the Otherside?" Leo sniggered. "What are you doing now?" he asked, lighting up another cigarette while peering over her shoulder.

"I'm about to start searching for your grave site," she punched away at her laptop.

"Do you have to do it right now? I feel strong today. Lots of days, I feel weak, really weak. I want to... I don't know... I want to show you some more memories."

"Give me a minute and I will open a new document for a new memory." She studied her screen. "Dylan and Jacqui will be sorry to miss it."

"No, not like that. Like this." He reached out to take her hands.

Anna pulled back, "I'm so tired I'm afraid I will crack up."

"I'm so tired, I am afraid I will disappear forever. I win," he joked. "It's so much easier to show you than to tell you. But I know it's tough on you. Sorry."

Anna smiled slowly. "Okay you win but wait, I need to get something."

Anna returned to the green room with a tin of biscuits.

"What kind are those?"

"Anzac bickies."

"Are you pulling my leg? A biscuit named after soldiers?"

"Yep," she answered as she dunked one into her Milo. After scoffing several biscuits she lay down on the floor.

"I am as ready as I will ever be." She placed the biscuit tin on the floor next to her.

"Hit me."

"WHAT!!"

"It's a saying. It means I'm ready."

"Would you like to see the end of the memory?"

"Which one? Do you mean the one in Egypt that almost killed me? Or Daisy and her ker-a-zee sisters?"

"No, just Daisy and me."

He crouched down and placed his hand on top of Anna's head. Anna felt the green room rapidly recede as she was plunged into airless darkness.

She opens her eyes and is looking up into a pressed tin ceiling. She can see a candle siting on an old dresser as Leo looks around his small neat bedroom. A tatty shade is drawn and it shifts in the breeze of the open window. The candle burns brightly and then flickers low. Leo must be lying on his bed and resumes staring at the ceiling.

His body tosses and turns, Anna looks down at his feet. He is still wearing his shoes and socks.

In the distance, Anna can hear someone coughing. Leo calls out, "You alright Ma, need your medicine?"

" _Ma?" No answer. Anna feels Leo's concern escalate._

He gets up and walks down a small passage and knocks at the door. There is no reply. He opens it and sitting on the bed is a beautiful woman. Her greying blonde hair ripples down her back but her brilliant blue eyes looked tired. It must be Angelika, his mother. She smiles, "I'm... fine," she whispers as she erupts into a spasm of coughing. Leo sits down on the bed next to his Ma. He pats her back then pours her a large dessertspoon of the mixture sitting on the dressing table. She lies back down and Leo tucks her in under the quilt and sits by her side. He watches as his mother's body relaxes. Anna feels a whoosh of pure love wash over her.

" _I'm fine son," she pats his hand groggily._

" _Mir get's gut, Sohn... Gute Nacht."_

" _Good night Ma."_

He watches her closely until her breathing is peaceful.

He shuts her door and wanders back down to his small bedroom. He pauses in the hallway to look up at a black and white wedding photograph. Leo touches the face of a dark haired man with steel rimmed glasses. Anna realizes it is his father. She is almost overpowered by Leo's sense of longing. She feels a hot trickle on her face — Leo's tears.

He stares into the man's happy face for few minutes and then says, "Night Pop." He blows out the candle casting Anna into darknes once again. They enter his room. Anna can hear a very gentle tapping noise. Someone is knocking on the window. Anna feels Leo's mood swing upward. His heart beats wildly as he rolls up the blind and there is Daisy, her hair is shining in the moonlight. She still has the pencil tucked behind her ear. "Hark! Hark! The lark at heaven's gate sings," she grins, "Hello Nols."

" _You are trouble Miss Daisy Mary McNamara." Leo's heart is bursting with joy and that strange feeling is back. Anna is beginning to realize what the feeling is and starts to feel alarmed._

" _Come around to the back door, Mac."_

Leo reaches through the window and gently touches her cheek slowly with the back of his hand. Another surge of undiluted love sweeps over Anna. She is breathless.

" _Okay, I get the idea_ _—Daisy and Leo Forever..._ _a wondersome feeling," she whispers under her breath._

She shook her head vigorously and Leo released her.

"I was nearly finished anyways... I'm not running a peep show," he laughed but then broken Leo returned, "I just wanted you to understand why I can't understand... that's all."

"I do understand, Leo I truly do!" She felt giddy from the love she had been priviledged to experience.

"Ta... I mean... thank you... now I am the one that is stuffed... gotta get going. See ya!"

Anna opened her eyes, "Wait," cried Anna. "You will be back tomorrow?"

"Dunno."

"Please—we have a little surprise for you tomorrow." _I will show him, not tell him, it will be awesome!_

"Really? You're not flying Mary Ellen in on her broomstick?"

"No! Dylan said that too," giggled Anna. "Wait and see."
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

Knowledge is the Wing

"Typical, we are about to reveal something more exciting than the finale of 'Extreme Makeovers' or 'Master Chef' and Leo is not here."

Dylan was sniffing the green room anxiously but all he could smell were tea and orange wax.

Kevin had placed planks up the front verandah steps and Kelsey was carefully pulling her Great Grandfather's wheel chair backwards up to the porch. Rex's long withered skinny legs were covered in a crocheted rug and he wiped his mouth continuously with a man's enormous handkerchief. He adjusted his wellworn fedora hat with an unsteady hand, while his blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

Dylan looked at the hat covetously.

"What are you up to Kelsey Lou Lou? How do you know these good people?"

"Friend of a friend," replied Kelsey.

"Len popped a fender?" Rex's clumpy white eyebrows shot up confused.

"Who is Len? What are you talking about girlie?"

Kelsey bent over and shouted into Rex's ear, "FRIEND OF A FRIEND, POP."

"Ah, mutual friends I see dear."

Kelsey took a little box out of her pocket. It contained hearing aids, "Here Poppy, put your hearing aids in." The sound of nails dragging down a blackboard harmonising with the screech of an untuned radio, blasted out for a nano second as the aids were adjusted. The party put their hands over their ears as Rex smiled obliviously.

"That's better Pop, now you can hear us."

"I'm not deaf you know. I'm bunged up with wax."

"Yes Poppa."

Kelsey sighed and pushed the elderly gentleman into the green room. "He is fine up top," she pointed to her head, "It's his body that is letting him down."

Natalie and Kevin were sitting at the oak table. Beth, Blake and Bubba sat on the chaise. The table was set with lamingtons and scones and a pot of tea.

"Ahhh I see why you have brought me here, the table is finished. Sterling job Kevin, well done."

Kelsey wheeled him closer to the table and he patted it affectionately.

"It's been a long time since I have seen food served on it. My late wife Florence wasn't much into entertaining or cooking. But she was a dab hand at crocheting and breeding budgies. I tended the roses." A tiny tear formed in one eye and he wiped it away with his hanky and patted at his mouth.

Larry licked his hand as Rex shakily reached out to scratch his head.

"Ahh, you can be mother Natalie." She poured the tea.

"How is the house selling going? Been on the market for a long time Rex," said Kevin as he chomped through a heavily jammed scone.

"Not so well Kevin, not so well. Got a ridiculously low offer from some investors, wanted to knock it over and build a triplex. They wanted to bowl over my rose garden and put in a garage ... I knew in my heart that the house and garden would be demolished—but it's hard to tell a twenty something real estate agent... that the rooms are like old friends and the ladybirds make great companions.

"I feel like that about my vegie patch and the rabbits," laughed Natalie.

"I can't hold out much longer, my knees are giving way. My son Jim used to look after me but he is full of arthritis now. My other son, John and most of his family live up North—he stays with me six weeks a year round Chrissie time and other rellies pop in and stay too. It's great but it is not enough."

Rex looked at Kelsey. "Kelsey is a good girl and visits often but she has University and work. I know she misses her family too. Your Natalie brings me casseroles occasionally and I have a very pretty Silver Chain aide who comes and helps me every other day but realistically I can't manage any more."

He sighed deeply and wiped at his mouth. "I didn't want to put the house on the market and now I just want it to sell. How fickle is that." His heavy white eyebrows shot up. He sighed again as he struggled to put the lamington into his mouth and chew with his remaining teeth.

Larry started to tug and chew his favourite corner of the rug. A very embarrassed Natalie pulled him outside. He shook her off with his hackles raised. A smoky scent filled the room. Rex stopped chewing. Flakes of coconut floated onto his cardigan. Kelsey put her teacup down slowly.

Dylan breathed in the air and wheezed with authority, "About time Leo."

Leo materialized by the fireplace. "Sorry," he said, "didn't realize you had company. I'll skedaddle."

"Wait," shouted Anna.

"Don't go," cried Natalie.

"Won't you join us for a cuppa? Here is some more family."

"Your family," replied Leo testily.

"No Leo," said Anna, "Yours—Surprise!"

"What in the hells bells is going on? I don't have any family."

"This is your son, Reginald Leopold," said Anna, she found herself jumping up and down with joy and excitement, it was all she could manage not to high five his warm misty not quite there hand.

"And this lovely girl is your Great Great grand daughter, Kelsey," said Natalie.

Leo flew over to Rex in his wheel chair.

"I can see something and feel something," said Rex tremulously. "A thick heavy shadow. I can smell something."

Kelsey twitched her nose and put her hand over her mouth and coughed delicately.

"What is happening?" said Kelsey nervously. She started to tremble and anxiously looked at Dylan.

"Happy place," he whispered.

"I seem to be looking at a young soldier boy with the most beautiful blue eyes. And he is grinning at me. Now he is waving." Anna held up the photo next to Leo's head.

"HE IS FROM THE PHOTO?" shouted Kelsey.

"Yes," said Anna. "I wasn't counting on you being able to see him. This is Epic."

Kelsey lifted her arm slowly and waved hesitantly back.

"UN - BE - LIEV - AB – LE! You can see him and I can't!" pouted Dylan.

"I don't feel scared but I do feel weird."

Kelsey moved carefully over to her aged and pixilated Grandfathers. Three pairs of beautiful blue eyes lined up in front of Anna and Natalie with a marked likeness.

"That is one strong gene pool," whispered Natalie to Anna.

"It's Angelika, I've seen her."

Natalie looked at her in surprise so Anna quickly added, "No she didn't visit, I saw her last night in Leo's memory... long story."

"Hello Kelsey. You can call me Gramps," laughed Leo joyously.

"Now he is talking to me, this is really weird. Is this your house mate Anna, the one that you wanted me to meet?"

"Yes, he is Private Leopold Reginald Nolan, service number 1908. Killed in the field in France, somewhere near Boulogne, possibly Amiens on the 21st of March 1918. Blown to pieces by a whistling winnie," said Anna proudly.

"For Gawd's sake don't tell her that, it's embarrassing. And anyways, it was a moaning Minnie."

"On Saturday night, it was traumatizing... practically ruined your afterlife. It's only Tuesday today."

"I've come to terms with my incineration," beamed Leo.

"Well done and it only took just under one hundred years."

"Umm hello there," replied Kelsey nervously.

"Hello Kelsey, I'm your Great Great Grandfather," Leo put up his hand and counted the greats off on his fingers. Then he grabbed her by the hands and danced her around the table. Her eyes shone and her green hair flew out from her head as he twirled her like a lacy parasol, her vintage skirts whirled out like a small silky parachute.

"You look more like my brother than my grandfather. How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen."

"So am I," chuckled Kelsey.

"I can't believe you can see me. Look at her, isn't she a beauty. A real looker."

"Yeah, that's because she looks like you, you vain thing," laughed Natalie.

"But what is wrong with your hair. It's like freaky! Is that the right lingo?" he turned to Anna for reassurance.

Anna shrugged, "Don't ask me."

"I'm experimenting, my hair is a reflection of my mood."

"What mood is that? Green around the gills or green with envy?" toyed Leo.

"Neither," she said defensively. "I don't feel like this colour any more." She smiled at Dylan.

"This is my Great Grandfather." Kelsey crouched by the wheel chair and held Rex's hand.

"Poppa, tell us about your father, you never spoke of him."

"Why bring all that up now, what is going on?" Rex asked anxiously.

"I never knew him, I never knew any family from either side but it didn't matter because I had the best Mum in the world. She was beautiful and clever and smart. And she loved me. She would look at me and say she was the luckiest Mum in the world to have her blue eyed boy and that I looked just like my father and she loved him. He had died in the war and Mum spent her life teaching me. She got a job in the local library. When I was sick with my weak chest, I would sit under her desk wrapped in her old cardigan and all the books in the world at my feet.

Every now and then a parcel from the West would arrive. It was from Aunt Agnes and it usually contained a toy, some socks and a couple of Mars Bars. Sometime later I began to suspect that they hadn't really been married. She told me on her deathbed that she had changed her name to Knowles as it was close to Nolan. She died holding my hand." The old man paused and lifted his head back to stop the tears falling.

He steadied himself and continued on, "She left me a brown paper bag with a photo of two soldiers and two sisters. Kelsey here is the one who loves history so I gave them to her last week. See if she could find out some information on that computer thingy majig... I've always had a bad chest. I'm asthmatic you see. My youngest boy was terribly afflicted with it so we packed up and moved across to Western Australia... Florence's parents lived here. The weather was warmer and I chanced my luck at a promotion, a Principal's position... well blow me down I got the job so we settled here. Florence and I taught and the boys grew up. I tried to be a good father to them although I had no idea what I was doing. Florence's father was a good man and a great help to me."

"Oh Poppa, you are a great old patriarch, you know both your sons adore you and your grandson and your great great grandsons and me, and even Cam and James, your great great great great grandsons love to come and see you."

Rex teared up, "Thanks Kels, that means a lot but I'm sure they are only interested in my Mars Bars." He laughed.

"It's funny you know, I have been thinking of my mother and her soldier love all the time this week. When I close my eyes I can see her big brown ones looking at me full of love. Been thinking about the past so much this week I wondered if I was going to, you know, fall off the perch or at least needed to up my medication."

Leo knelt down on the other side of Rex. "This is my boy," he said in wonder.

"This is my boy; he had a good life and a long life. Something wondersome came from our love... a family, a happy family and a Principal no less. I'm so proud." He stroked Rex's face. Anna repeated the words for Rex. Rex dabbed excitedly at his eyes and mouth.

"Hey Blake, hey Beth this is my baby." Anna repeated the question for the pair.

"He is very cute Leo," said Blake.

"Really cute. I wish Bubba had wiry hair sticking out of her nose and ear lobes down to her shoulders," joked Beth.

"He has your eyes Leo," said Natalie.

"I can feel something—Kelsey dear what is going on?"

"Poppa, your father is here. He has been waiting to see you for your entire life."

"Is he a spirit or am I dead?"

"He is a ghost. I can see him. He is a most handsome devil," blushed Kelsey.

"First Anna goes all soppy and now you. Wish I could see this awesome Leo," sulked Dylan.

Leo puffed up and wriggled his eyebrows. "I'm a bit of a Lothario these days."

"Get a grip Leo."

"Natalie, can you see my father?"

"Yes Rex, he is an old friend of mine. Anna can see him."

"Where is he, is he near me? I can see a tall shadow and the smell is mighty powerful. Is it cordite and chloride of lime burning flesh and cigarettes?"

"How does he know that?"

"Poppa is a WW1 History buff, been studying it since his retirement twenty five years ago."

"So that's what the horrid smell is!"

"He is to your left, Pop." Rex gingerly moved his hand out in the air near him. "It feels warm like steam from a kettle. He has loved me all this time. Always?"

"Always and forever," said Leo. Big happy tears plopped down his face and evaporated.

"Well you can move on from thinking anyone's life was ruined. Perhaps you can move on to the Other Side," suggested Natalie.

"Kelsey can you really see him? I forgot to take my pills this morning. I'm not going barking mad am I?"

"No Pops he is really here."

Rex sobbed into his hanky. "Tell him all my life I have loved him and been waiting too." He laughed, "I thought it might have been after I died and not before—I'm a very lucky man."

Anna felt her pulse quicken as her heart surged. Leo was now standing next to her. "Please Anna you've got Kelsey and Natalie to help you. Les, well that was a great success. Don't be frightened."

Anna looked at Kelsey. Kelsey held out her hand and she grasped it firmly.

Anna put the photo of Daisy in front of her and closed her eyes for a minute. _To think I was jealous of her only last week. Oh and most of yesterday._ She remembered the warmth and intensity of Leo's love.

"Daisy," she whispered gently into the room.

"I'm here," said Daisy.

"My giddy aunt that was quick," gasped Natalie.

A short chubby lady in a twin set with heavy framed glasses walked out of the fireplace. She nodded at the party seated at the table and walked straight over to Rex. She carefully took his hat off his head and lowered it on to the table. She kissed his forehead and placed her cheek on his balding scalp.

Kevin watched as the fedora slid down to the table. "Natalie, what is happening?"

"Later, Kev," mouthed back Natalie.

"Hat off inside son, how many times did I have to tell you that." She cradled his head.

"Poppa? Poppa?" Kelsey ran to her Grandfather. He slumped over in his wheel chair and his rug fell askew to the ground. Kev jumped up and took his pulse.

"He has gone love." He ran a hand over Rex's staring eyes and looked reverently at the old man.

"He was a good man," said Kevin blinking back his tears. Natalie offered a prayer for Rex's safe journey.

"Kelsey Lou Lou, don't cry," said a young voice.

It belonged to a blue-eyed boy in a knitted jumper, smartly ironed shorts and long socks. "Kelsey, Kelsey, it's me, your Poppa." He waved boldly and then hid behind his beautiful young mother who was in the arms of his father.

"Why you cheeky thing Poppy," whispered Kelsey.

"Anna, Natalie and to all my peeps, thank you. Thank you so much, I'm on my way. We are all on our way and it feels wondersome!"

"Peeps!" whispered Anna. "Outrageous!"

LIFE (AGAIN)

" _I will wait with him."_

The family leaves Kelsey sitting on the floor at the foot of Rex. Dylan crouches down next to her and holds her hand tightly. "I will stay. I will wait with you." He sits down next to her. Kelsey rests her head on Dylan's shoulder as she continues to hold Rex's warm hand.

The rest of the group moves out to the front verandah and sits quietly as

Deepak's car swings into the driveway.

" _Crikey that boy is a menace, I was expecting the ambulance, not a bloody rally driver—and his music is too loud."_

" _Calm down Kevin."_

Jacqui looks at Anna astonished, "Deepak is listening to your song. The song I chose for the pair of you! Freaky. It's a sign."

Anna smiles, "I really like that song," she says as Deepak pulls down his Aviators and grins at her.

" _Turn the bloody radio down and have some respect for the dead!" shouts Kev._

Nina moves out from the passenger side. Behind her, another door opens. Corinne steps out onto the gravel.

" _Jacqui, Jacqui, it's your Mum!" says Anna surprised._

Jacqui looks at Anna, "Cat?"

" _No sign of a cat." Anna is not sure that this is good news or bad._

Corinne flies up the stairs and wraps her arms around her daughter. They hold each other tightly.

" _How is Snoodles?" asks Jacqui through her tears._

" _Snoodles? He stayed on in South Africa," laughs Corinne knowingly. "I won't see him again. I am feeling much better and Granny is coming to visit next week to be with us."_

" _NINA!" screams Natalie as she watches her friend collapse on to the tall weedy grass._

Anna and Natalie bound down the steps. "I'm fine, I'm fine." She waves them away, embarrassed.

" _A drink of water, if you don't mind Kevin dear," asks Nina as she pulls the hair off her face. Kevin runs for the kitchen._

Corinne helps Nina up as Natalie dusts off the dirt.

" _Are you ill?"_

" _No dear girls, I'm having a baby!"_

" _BABY!"_

OMG thinks Anna, the return of Ranabir Roychowdhury. She knows it to be true as if the words have appeared in the sunny skies over Nina's head. Your secret is safe Professor Ray.

" _Dylan is going to be a middle child," says Jacqui._

" _He is going to be beyond precious," laughs Nina._

" _Daisy will have a little friend."_

" _Are you quite well Mum?"_

" _No, no not that Daisy, our Daisy, your niece. Beth just announced Bubba's name. It's Daisy, Daisy Anna."_

" _Really?"_

" _Yes and they are getting married!"_
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

The Black Hat

"It's so dull without Leo around," said Dylan. "The front room smells nice. It makes me feel sad." He picked up a book and flicked through it distractedly. "They are only words... boring."

"What is wrong now Jan Brady?"

"I don't want to talk about THAT yet," sulked Dylan.

"Everything is so ordinary now. Once one has dabbled in the Occult everything else becomes mundane. The aftertaste is boredom. I shall never be satisfied again."

Dylan inspected his hands. Nina had stencilled a henna tattoo on the back. Kelsey had asked her to paint an identical one on the back of hers.

"Although I must say, this chrysanthemum tea and tiny raspberry tarts are helping to rally my spirits no end." Dylan scooped up three at a time and shovelled them into his mouth. He smiled sweetly at Kelsey exposing his gluggy crumby teeth. A smidge of raspberry jam slid down his chin.

"You look like a vampire," laughed Kelsey.

Anna, Jacqui and Dylan eyeballed each other and tried not to laugh sweet crumbs into the air.

"Yes I'm loving these brownies Kelsey, you are an excellent cook," Anna said quickly.

"Thanks," beamed Kelsey.

Anna looked down at the empty vintage china plate, "Did I eat five or six pieces?"

"Who is counting sweetie?" said Jacqui as she devoured her tenth rum ball. "I'm feeling a bit tiddly."

"It's just that I'm feeling sick like I've eaten too much. I've got indigestion." Anna attempted to burp.

"Funny that, I feel a bit queasy too." Kelsey rubbed her chest.

"I do so love a good cup of tea. Do you have any plain butter cake? This is all a bit rich for an old girl like me."

"Nice Irish accent Dylan," smiled Anna, slurping down a green tea.

"Whath? I'm thill thewing." Dylan resumed chewing his cakey cud.

Kelsey looked behind Anna. Mary Ellen was prodding the beanbag disapprovingly with her boot. "What do we call this, it can't be good for a lady's posture or dignity."

"What's going on?" said Jacqui, looking at Kelsey and Anna's shocked faces.

"Mary Ellen missed the party but is here for a spot of tea," whispered Anna.

"I wish," said Mary Ellen wistfully. "I can only enjoy the smell."

Dylan swallowed his mouthful with a choke and a cough. "I can smell rose water." He sniffed the air thoughtfully. "Mmm, it's gorgeous." He breathed in deeply. "Oh," he said, "it seems to be sullied by potato peelings." He crinkled his nose. "I hate potatoes."

"It's Mary Ellen. She is wearing her Sunday best, the Black Hat."

Dylan pulled his feet up onto his chair and got his puffer out. He put it on the table, "Just in case." Kelsey took his hand in hers.

"This must be Dylan, Leo said he was a character." She inspected his henna hands with distaste.

"Have you been talking to Leo? I thought you were most displeased with him," said Anna in a very bad Irish accent.

"Ah and you must be Anna," replied Mary Ellen tersely.

She looked hard at an oblivious Jacqui, "Quite a wild looking lass."

She turned her attention to Kelsey. "You must be Kelsey, you are very pretty dear but the green hair suggests you have a psychiatric disorder."

Kelsey put her hand on her head. "I was thinking of changing it to red."

Mary Ellen raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. An improvement. There you go. Good girl."

Loud thumping footsteps came from down the hallway.

"Has Kelsey been baking again?" asked Natalie as she swung the fly screen door open and made a beeline for the brownies.

"And that's enough cake for you." Natalie paused and looked at Mary Ellen and slowly put the cake down without breaking eye contact with the spectre.

"Good morning Mary Ellen."

"That is Grandmother to you three girls."

"Yes Grandmother," replied Kelsey, Natalie and Anna like chastened schoolgirls.

Mary Ellen sat down primly on the free floral armchair. She inspected it for dust and flicked away a stunned cricket.

"Natalie dear, you need to work harder on your housekeeping skills. It is quite a health risk sitting out here. Not for myself of course. I was constitutionally very sound before I became one of the dearly departed."

Natalie overcame her shock and straightened up, "What are you doing here Grandmother Mary Ellen. Leo has been reunited with Daisy, Rex and Les too. Hopefully, he is slapping Bill on the back and shaking hands with Pat."

"Very funny Natalie dear." Mary Ellen gave a tightlipped smile.

"I know all that. I keep an eye on things." She bristled and then relaxed. "It is all taken care of now dear, no need to worry about it any more."

"Did you apologise for your rude and interfering ways?"

Mary Ellen's black hat wobbled slightly on top of her pointy face.

"It's not a matter of saying sorry, we commune our feelings," she snapped haughtily, "But yes, he knows I am sorry." Mary Ellen looked down at the uneven floorboards, "I am sorry that my words and deeds hurt those two. I am very sorry that Leo wandered confused for over ninety years—typical though," she smiled. "He was not very bright." Mary Ellen continued on. She put her hand up to silence Anna's protest. "You may not believe me but I really liked Leo. He was a very good sort of fellow. So good to his dear mother."

Anna managed to get out, "You called her a scarlet woman!"

"Did I? Oh dear, I am sure it was in the heat of the moment."

"For six months."

"Enough! Impertinent girl, where was I? Ah yes, Leo from across the road. My Lesley took him under his wing and Agnes," she faltered, "you do realise she was sweet on him too. I simply could not have him popping up and chatting to her for the rest of her life. She was a fragile little thing. I had to tell him to keep away for Agnes' sanity." Worried she had said too much, Mary Ellen distracted the group by levitating the teapot, "What tea is that? The smell is quite insipid." Mary Ellen screwed up her nose as she peered into Kelsey's cup.

"It's herbal," offered Kelsey.

"If only I could have a whiff of an Irish breakfast teapot. It would surely gladden me heart."

Anna relayed the message to Jacqui who quickly went inside to get the tea and pot.

Mary Ellen watched the swish of her long hair as it touched her pajama bottom. "As I said, quite wild looking." Jacqui returned with the brew and Mary Ellen wriggled her nose in pleasure.

"Where was I, oh yes that is right. I have come to tell you the final resting place of Leo."

"How do you know it?" Natalie spat out her tea.

"Natalie dear, manners," tisked Mary Ellen.

"After the war, another letter came for poor departed Angelika. I took the liberty of opening it and any further correspondence from the AIF. It was from a Captain Downing. He said a Private Bill Sadleir had gathered what he could of Private Nolan's remains; he had insisted that his mate would not end up in the belly of a rat or in the bottom of a bog. He had wrapped them up in Leo's trench coat and placed his pay book in the pocket and then put him in a sand bag. A couple of other soldiers helped him make a shallow grave with a plain timber cross. _Leo 1908._

However poor Bill, who was not right in the head for a long time after that, was sent to hospital and didn't manage to finish any paper work. After the war, around 1920 when Bill was recovering, he contacted the Captain with the information. Leo was moved to the Boulogne Eastern Cemetery. By then, the AIF had sent a circular form asking for a personal epitaph as well as a choice of religious emblem for the headstone. My dear son Daniel paid for the inscriptions, three and a half pence a letter! He did all the correspondence. He even wrote to Daisy to get her thoughts."

"Dan? Dan didn't like Leo. He was a coward with a jealous competitive streak."

Mary Ellen sat straight up, pointed her knobbly finger at her and said, "How dare you! How dare you young lady, my Daniel was especially kind and goodnatured. He became the backbone of our family. Oh yes, he took his cricket far too seriously and excuse him for following the Lord's advice not to kill. Devout Catholic, girl. And yes, he made some money but I will have you know that he financially supported his surviving brothers and sisters, in particular, Agnes and Leslie. Whatever they needed, he provided. How he tried to get Agnes to wear her new false teeth. She could be very stubborn, her love of bananas was her undoing."

"So Leo does have a proper grave?"

"Yes dear, he is there with all the other brave Australian lads."

_Plus one thoroughly confused compulsive card player named Fred_ , thought Anna.

"Would you like to know what it says?"

"Of course," said Kelsey breathlessly. Natalie was crying in anticipation. Mary Ellen touched the chipped old coffee table and slowly it took on the image of a white headstone visible only to the three of them.

1908 PRIVATE

L . R . NOLAN

54TH BATTALION

21ST MARCH 1918

ALL THE DAYS ARE NIGHTS 'TILL I SEE THEE,

AND NIGHTS BRIGHT DAYS WHEN DREAMS DO SHOW THEE ME.

"That's Shakespeare! You let Daisy choose?"

Mary Ellen released the table and looked at her hands. "Yes, of course... I'd made a mess of the bereavement notice and I felt... very troubled by my transgression. It was a heavy burden on my heart." Her prim face sagged into sorrow.

"It's perfect," cried Anna. "Thank you."

Mary Ellen rallied and patted Anna fondly on the head. "I'll be seeing you again soon dears." She sniffed deeply into the pot and vanished.

Anna and Kelsey looked at each other in shock, "AGAIN!"

"THAT IS IT!" shouted Natalie as she ripped off her Eiffel tower embroidered pinny. "WE ARE ALL GOING TO FRANCE." She ran inside to tell Kevin the good news as she shouted over her shoulder, "I must buy a copy of _German for Dummies_."

"France! Est-ce que je puex venir trop?" said Dylan.

"Oui, oui," laughed Anna.

Dylan turned to Jacqui as he bounced up and down on his seat, clapping his hands together and sung out, "Cheap flights, cheap flights. Jacs, quick doll, get surfing."

"Cheap flights yourself. You start searching!" bellowed Jacqui. "I still don't have a phone. And I feel very chilled without it," she shouted.

"Okay, okay." Dylan took out his phone and compulsively checked his pics first.

"Ooh, look at that pic of you, Jacqui. You look gorgeous. Your left side is really your best."

"Dylan get out of your pics and into the Internet," bossed Anna.

"Really? Show me," said Jacqui. She held out her hand, Dylan clung to his phone and continued to zoom through his pictures. He shooed her away with his free hand.

"Oh, I remember when I took this, we were interviewing Leo. I was showing off the superiority of my pixel over his Kodak. Oh look at the one I took of the ceiling, there is a web falling off the light fitting, with an enormous huntsman spider hanging from it—that is randomly artistic. I love it. I'm so talented. I'm uploading that one gals."

He continued to scroll through fast. "Hmmm Anna's foot, pooh stink delete, the window, delete. No idea what that is, delete. OMG, no, phew, it's only a picture of the photo of Mary Ellen. Okay, delete, delete."

Suddenly Dylan jumped up and ran around the front yard while shouting in joyful Bengali, "Ami dekhte peyechhi, ami Leo ke dekhte peyechhi, shotyi shesh porjonto Leo ke dekhte pelam!"

He leapt over the front hedge, out onto the road and back over the hedge again. He grabbed his tee shirt and pulled it over his head, Beckham style as he punched the air wildly.

The three girls watched him indulgently. Their amusement turned to alarm as he continued to run and scream.

"You haven't sexted him have you?" whispered Anna.

"NO, yuck no way, that is disgusting. Does he often get like this?"

"No, this is extreme, even for Dylan."

"It's my main man. It's my homie Leo. It's Leo. It's Leo!"

"He has really lost it big time, this time," said Jacqui shaking her head.

Dylan sprang up the verandah steps screeching, "Follow me. Follow me. Follow me!" at the bemused girls.

Anna shrugged her shoulders and said, "Come on, let's get this over and done with."

They entered the green room to be confronted by Natalie's bottom. She was on her hands and knees, lifting up the edge of the new mat, which revealed a loose floorboard. Dylan charged past her and started fiddling with his tablet that lay dormant on the oak table.

"What are you doing Mum?"

"Oh dear, I'm busted." She put her hand out to Anna, "Please help me up." Natalie nearly tipped Anna over. "I think I have put on weight since the weekend," she said red faced.

Jacqui looked around Anna and into the cavern in the floor, "Ooh yummy, Tim Tams. Is this your never ending hidey hole of treats?" she asked.

"Yes, I was going to empty it and seal it up, I want to lose weight for the wedding and Paris."

"Is that why Larry goes crazy for the rug?"

"Yes. Now let us never speak of it again."

"Leo! Here he is, here is Leo."

Up on the tablet screen flashed a beautiful blue-eyed soldier. He was smiling and waving and slightly out of focus.

"It is Leo!" gasped Anna

"Yep that's Gramps alright!" laughed Kelsey.

"Show me," cried Jacqui. "OMG, what a honey! We did it! We captured him! Fuzzy and pixilated but drop dead gorgeous!

"Har Har," giggled Anna, "and we released him!" she beamed. "Tick!"

Unstuck 1926

Agnes touches the nape of her exposed neck and looks into the mirror. Behind her stands sister Veronica, smiling with satisfaction as she holds up Agnes' long plait in one hand, sicissors in the other.

" _Bobs are so easy to look after and they keep you cool. It must be over 100 degrees in the shade already and it's only 10 o' clock." She dabs a hanky around her neck. "I don't have time for all that swirling, curling and pinning you go on with. Besides, it really suits you!"_

Agnes peers at her reflection, not convinced. She doesn't see the beautiful woman before her. 'Last haircut ever...' she thinks, while smiling graciously at her sister. She looks back down at the letter she has been reading and continues to read aloud. It is from Daisy.

" _Little Rexie has broken his arm, fell out of the front tree... his miserable summer is mitigated by the arrival of the new Timm's adventure book at the library."_

Veronica sniffs the air and ponders, "My cake can't be ready... but I can smell the most delicious aroma... think it must be you Ag... I often smell it around you!"

" _Ma!" A little boy's voice rises up from under the window._

" _Coming!" shouts back Veronica._

" _Ma-aa-aaa..." the voice wails loudly._

" _Give me a minute child!" she snaps as she attempts to straighten up the back of Agnes' hair._

Gladys sits on the dressing table, her hair is still long and her face is that of a pale six year old. She pokes at Agnes' long detached locks. Veronica doesn't notice the jiggling hair.

The child screams. Veronica drops the scissors and runs out the door. "That boy will be the death of me," she shouts. Agnes jumps up in alarm and looks out the window.

Gladys sighs, "It's a wonder that kid has any skin left on his knees... He is so lucky he can play outside... You're always so busy these days and... I'm still here."

Large misty tears well up in her tiny pallid face.

" _I'm going to miss you," smiles Agnes into the mirror._

" _Is it my turn at last? How do you know?" cries Gladys euphorically jumping off the dresser and twirling around the room._

" _I just know," whispers Agnes. I have to let you go, she thinks._

" _I feel peculiar," says Gladys, eyes widening._

" _What kind of peculiar?"_

" _Peculiar good... I feel warm... Oh and I can see Ma—she is holding out her hand. It's Ma. It's really Ma..."_

" _And I suppose you can you hear the lark?" Agnes gently teases, "Then go to her, you don't want to keep Ma waiting... Tootle loo my darlin."_

" _Will you be all right?" asks Gladys._

"' _Course!" bristles Agnes._

Veronica bursts through the door carrying a hysterical little boy. "He only wants you Ag!" she says as she dumps the child into Agnes' arms. "Gotta go, there's another one wounded outside! What would I do without you Ag?"

" _Aunty Aggie," the boy sobs pitifully, "I done a booboo. Ouchy a lot!"_

Agnes pulls him close and kisses his forehead. She turns to smile at Gladys as she disappears into joyous twinkling swirls.

Acknowledgements

I was always a chubby sentimental child with an unnatural predispostion for nostalgia of a by gone era... and for poking around. A couple of years ago, I delved into the National Archives of Australia looking for my Great Uncle Clarence Nolan, a returned World War One veteran who sustained terrible leg injuries. I discovered a wonderful resource with pages and pages of original digital documents. The opening papers show a firm signature of a young man signing up and doing his bit for his country. It follows his journey across countries until he is caught in shell fallout in France and the ensuing sketchy correspondence of 'We regret to inform you...' letters the Army sent to his father Dan detailing his injuries and progress. His journey is text-book perfect, he was initially rejected on enlistment but then later found his way into the 10th Light Horse and travelled to Egypt. On his arrival, he was taking in by the artillery and became a gunner and then (no doubt due to his father's trade of cab driver) he began driving horses, which was the main mode for transportation of supplies, troops and the injured leaving the limited protection of the trench and going out into exposed territory. It was a dangerous and courageous job.

So, my character Les McNamara is loosely based (as fine as weave of a spider web) on great Uncle Clary and his family the Nolans. They did live in Brown Street, East Perth. There was an Agnes character that did reside in my grandmother's house in a spooky green room but whether she was talking to ghosts or herself I don't know!!! There was a Mary Ellen who flits between looking serene and stern in her portrait but she did have a lot of kids and that's reason enough for me. And poor Gladys did die as a six year old (I am sure you went straight to heaven!) The link to all these characters is my maternal grandmother Alice Veronica Prendergast (nee Nolan). She was a strong and special women and all who are part of her legacy would agree. She deserves her own book but that's another story!

So that was my starting point but my researched continued!

READING LIST

1) Online

National Archives of Australia

recordsearch.naa.gov.au Digital copy of Clarence Nolan's AIF papers pgs 1-42. Barcode 8002379

Australian War Memorial

awm.gov.au First World War Embarkation Rolls Nolan Clarence

awm.gov.au The Tenth Lighthorse Brigade

awm.gov.au The Fifty Fourth Battalion

awm.gov.au 1916: Australians in France

awm.gov.au/collection/records (aif-vol3-ch1.pdf.)

awm.gov.au.collection/records (aif-vol5-appl.pdf.)

static.awm.gov.au/images/collection/pdf/RCDIG1069541—1.PD. Chapter 11 -The Doubling of the AIF

Other Online Resources

australia.gov.au Australians at the Western Front

home.iprimus.com.au/buckomp A Brief History of Australian Military Law by A. Buckingham, 2007.

anzacsinfrance.com. Australian Battlefields

joeloughlin.co.uk Shot at Dawn by Joe O'Loughlin

Ahoy.tk-jk.net. Shot at Dawn – World War One Executions by Mackenzie. J. Gregory

Essentialsomme.com. Casualties by Martin Pegler

bookshistoria.com.au Chapter 14 World War One and the Home Front (Recruiting)

Greatwar.co.uk Cemeteries of WW1

Paroramio.com Tidworth, Bulford

firstworldwar.com Trench Fever

ww1westernfront.gov.au The Australian Remembrance Trail in France and Belgium

anzacday.org.au The Australian Home Front during World War 1 (Five Questions to Men who have NOT Enlisted)

www.wikihow.com/Perform-a-seance Wikihow to do anything: How to perform a séance.

jimmythejock.hubpages.com World War 1 Trench Warfare in WW1

inthefootsteps.org.uk/articles/1914-18GreatWar/LifeInTheTrenches.htm

2) Online Newspapers

trove.nla.gov.au H. F Battersby, ' _The Trench Fever,_ ' The Daily News Perth, Tuesday 2nd of November 1915.

trove.nla.gov.au. ' _Call to Arms-List,'_ The Daily News Perth, Tuesday 18th of April 1916

trove.nla.gov.au ' _Death Notices,'_ The Western Australian 1918

www.theaustralian.com.au Bingemann, Mitchell, _Mobile phone withdrawal symptoms on the rise_ , The Australian, March 7th 2012

3) Books

Austin, Ron and Sue, The Body Snatchers: History of the 3rd Field Ambulance 1914-1918, Slouch Hat Publications, 2010.

Bean, C.E.W, The Australian Imperial Force in France: 1916, Sydney: Angus and Robertson, 1929.

Blair, Dale, _Dinkum_ Diggers: An Australian Battalion at War, Melbourne: Melbourne University Press, 2001

Giddings, Robert, The War Poets, London: Bloomsbury Press, 1988.

Laffin, John, Guide to Australian Battlefields of the Western Front 1916-1918,

Kangaroo Press, 1994

Laffin, John, We Will Remember Them: AIF epitaphs of WW1, Kangaroo Press, 1995.

Lynch, E.P.F (Editor Davis, Will), Somme Mud, Bantam Books, 2008

Oliver, Bobbie, War and Peace in Western Australia, Perth: University of Western Australia Press, 1995

Shakespeare, William, The Illustrated Stratford Shakespeare, London: Chancellor Press. 1986.

My three main peeps Anna, Dylan and Jacqui are now my good friends (Weird! Much?) have been drawn from my own experiences and those as a mother of four. As for Leo and his twinkly blue eyes—he is all imagination and a little bit of wishful thinking.

I must thank **Aunty Betty** for proof reading, editing and giving me all kinds of anecdotal information. Hours and hours and hours and hours have been spent reading, re reading and reading some more. A small tree died for our sakes with the amount of photocopy paper used for each edition. Don't let it die in vain!! I love you Aunty Bet.

Thanks to my daughters, my PA **Charlotte Hayes** and my IT support **Angela Hayes.** I love you gals. I have tested your patience with my limited skills. You have both grown into such clever confident girls and so beautiful!

Thanks to my sister **Linda Richardson** for the lengthy job of formatting TUGGTO at a moment's notice. You are the best sister! Loyal and loving. I love you and your boys!

Thanks to my wonderful parents, **Bob and Jo Thompson** who have always supported me in anything and everything. I love you guys.

To dear **Alpana Guha** , my Bengali authority and translator. Thank you for all your time and food! Now Atreya, you must read it. (Again!)

I must also thank my dear friends and writers, **Anna Nankivell—** kind and supportive and always with an encouraging word. BFF **!** Yes I know that makes you spew.

**Rebecca Newman (**www.alphabetsoup.net.au) **Check it out for kids that love reading and creative writing.** She always points me in the right direction and has an uncanny knack of texting me when I need it most.

And drumroll... Catherine Parish whose centred and humorous approach to life saves my sanity and inspires me all at the same time. https://katemartynauthor.wordpress.com https://freeereads.wordpress.com/2015/04/18/new-site-clean-romance-books/ _Trawling the Amazon for fab free reads._

And to my boys— **Phil, Luke and Dan. Phil** you have always supported me and encouraged me to write even when a character named Kev popped up. I love you. **Luke** you are a true gentleman. You are now the same age that Clarence was when he enlisted and that is terrifying to me. Be thankful of the lives laid down. And to **Dan,** you are my sweetheart who will grow up to be just like Les, a gentleman of old.

