(upbeat music)
(drum roll)
- Babies, oh, I love babies.
Babies love me because I think
they see me as one of them
and I really do think that.
They see me and they're like
"Oh my God another baby".
Oh yeah, they love sucking
on these, it's crazy.
I mean, I do too though,
because I have a iron deficiency
so this shit tastes good.
Like have you guys liked
the taste of blood?
(laughing)
Do you, does anyone here
like the taste of blood,
because I like it.
I like the taste of blood.
I like the taste of pennies, and metal,
and poles, and jewelry.
Dirty jewelry tastes so good.
It's got that, like, oh, I think
my mom gives me iron pills.
She's nodding her head over there.
My mom definitely gives me iron pills.
I used to literally suck
on pennies and shit.
I would lick poles, my dumb ass.
(laughing)
Don't they make you constipated?
They don't make me constipated.
I don't get constipated.
I poop, I poop just fine.
I love pooping, go on.
(drum roll)
Pooping, underrated, one
billion percent underrated.
Pooping is my favorite part of the day.
There was one day I pooped eight times.
That was the best day of my life,
and they were all solid good poops too.
Like no bullshit poops,
you know what I'm saying?
I wasn't like I'm done.
I wasn't also like --
Those are the bad poops.
When you poop a, like,
yo, I'm really talking
about poop out here.
(laughing)
I love pooping, dude,
but here's the thing.
It's really about your diet
because you can have miserable poops.
People who don't like pooping are probably
people who eat like shit.
Sometimes when you eat like
shit your poop is incredible.
Sometimes it's horrible.
You eat a bunch of hot
Cheetos, that is burning poop.
Burning, like a lighter down there,
like wshew, hold it there.
(drum roll)
What?
I don't know, I'm really
flipped out by teenagers, dude.
I am one too (burps) so I don't know.
(drum roll)
Overrated.
Overrated as hell, prom, eww.
It's where the most beautiful girls
get asked by the worst dudes to prom
and they're like yeah
'cause they finally found
someone that likes them.
Why is every pretty girl
with a horrible looking man,
I don't understand.
Listen, I'm not shaming
people for their looks,
but I am though.
You give an ugly guy a chance,
he thinks he rules the world.
I swear to God because they got a hot girl
they can be horrible?
Like, you're still ugly though.
Can't change that, maybe that's why.
Maybe that's why guys with
small dicks get huge mansions.
To make up for it, you know.
Or like really nice
cars (laughs), you know?
(drum roll)
Invisalign can suck my dick.
Honestly, Invisalign, you
what, here's the thing.
When I got it, the first
time, it was the worst.
I would not have, I
would have rather cut off
my nose or some shit instead
of having Invisalign,
but it did work really well and very fast
and it's off now and I'm
good, so fine, it's fine.
Shit is expensive as fuck,
and dude, I mentioned it in my album
and I still didn't get it for free.
I still had to pay OD money, so stupid.
So stupid, I gave them
so much, stupid promo,
and those bitches still make me pay.
For a little clear grill,
but Invisalign doesn't wanna
give me free Invisalign,
so, fuck 'em, overrated.
(drum roll)
You know, I've never sleep walked.
My mom, one time was like,
"Billie, you rapped a whole
verse while you were sleeping."
(laughing)
She said that while I was asleep she was,
what was it, you were laying next to me
and I rapped a whole verse.
I was asleep, I rapped.
I don't sleep walk,
that shit is terrifying.
That's terrifying and
then there's like stories
about people waking up with
a knife like over someone
and they don't remember it, yeah, okay.
Oh I was sleep walking, don't sleep walk,
that shit is creepy.
Tie yourself to your bed, I don't care.
Do some bondage on yourself, I don't care.
(drum roll)
Well, I've never been to school.
I grew up homeschooled,
stayed homeschooled,
never was not homeschooled.
The thing is like I still
learned everything, you know,
but I learned it in life.
I learned how to do math
by cooking with my mom
and seeing how many halves
are gonna make this amount,
you know, if we doubled
this recipe how many more
do we have to put in
this batch right here.
And so that's how I learned math,
and then I learned how to
build shit from my dad.
What I'm saying is I learned shit in life.
I didn't have to like--
'Cause I feel like when you're sat down
and somebody's like shoving
things in your throat
you're not gonna wanna eat them.
Everybody forced everybody's
kid to eat broccoli, right.
Nobody likes broccoli, but
maybe you weren't forced
to eat broccoli.
You're like, "Shit, this shit is good
"as hell with some butter."
I mean, there's a lot of ways to do it.
I think some people do it the wrong way
which is just makes your life horrible
and miserable and boring.
That's mainly because of your parents
'cause parents are lazy as fuck.
That's why they send their kids
to school in the first place.
I don't wanna teach you, bitch.
(drum roll)
You know what, I actually
really like high heels.
I think high heels are really dope
and I've been feeling the
urge to put them on recently.
Like just an urge, I
don't know what it is.
I don't know why these things happen.
I got acrylic nails, I wore
hair extension the other day.
I don't know what is going on.
Weird shit, I'm not used
to it, I don't know.
I don't know, I love heels.
I think heels are really dope,
I think they're really cool.
I think sometimes they're
designed really well.
They're really pretty, I think
it's a really cool idea too.
I know the bitches are uncomfortable too,
so there's that but
comfort is not always key.
These pants, suck to wear
but they're fire though.
So I wear them.
(drum roll)
Underrated because I think, for awhile,
they were kinda frowned upon
and I don't think people
give goths credit for giving everyone now
all of their fashion influence,
you know what I'm saying?
Because I literally saw an old ad for,
like an old motivational video thing,
about this girl that wears all black
and she's pretty emo, goth, whatever.
She goes to school and nobody likes her
and everybody makes fun of her
and I just was watching
like if that was now,
and there was one girl
who dressed like that,
she would be, like
everyone would idolize her.
Everyone would think she was so cool.
I just think that people don't
give goths enough credit,
you know, because that's
what people wear now.
Chains and chokers, and those
pointy chokers and shit.
That all came from that whole emo world,
you know what I'm saying?
I remember like when I was 10 or 11,
you'd wear all black and people were like,
"What are you, goth?"
When you wear a shirt that's black
and some pants that are black too.
People don't give them enough credit, man.
Everyone's goth now.
(drum roll)
Oh, underrated.
I have a tree house that my dad built us,
that's so high in the
tree in our back yard
and I can go so high that I'm like sitting
at the top of the tree, it's crazy.
I can see the whole
neighborhood, it's amazing.
And I used to sit up there
and write songs in the rain
with my ukulele and I also had a pulley.
So I'd put the pulley over the branch,
I'd be down there, I'd put
the ukulele in the pulley,
I'd go up into the
tree, I'd grab the rope,
I'd pull it up, I'd grab the ukulele,
I'd climb up more into the tree.
I'd sit on my little
thing and I'd write a song
with my little notebook.
(drum roll)
Whoo-hoo underrated, oh my God.
Avril Lavigne was everything to me, dude.
I love Avril, I really,
I love Avril Lavigne.
I only love her, there's
nothing else there.
Just love, only love.
There's like almost no artist like that.
Avril Lavigne and Justin
Bieber I only love.
Her, Tyler, Gambino,
and Bieber to be honest,
made me, I would not
be, and Lana probably.
Yeah, there's no way, my God,
she has my number though.
She texts me sometimes, whoa it's so cool.
She's like "Hey babe, it's Avril xo."
Oh my God, geesh.
(upbeat music)
