
Russian: 
Мы действительно не хотим зарабатывать на этом фильме, поэтому правообладатели всех торговых марок, чья интеллектуальная собственность которых случайно попала в кадр нашего фильма, пожалуйста, не подавайте на нас в суд!

English: 
[kiss]
[giggle]
"We Can Get Them for You Wholesale"
There is a woman
Gwendolyne Thorpe
9, Oaktree Terrace, twenty-three years of age
She accepted my engagement ring
And after that she is messing about...

English: 
...with that swaggerer from the accounting department
Nine-carat gold
Ruby chips
A diamond
Probably even a genuine one
For only 37 pounds!
For as much as 37 pounds
And now paid 100 to a private detective
[dog's bark]
I'll kill him!

Russian: 
Полное и тактичное устранение нежелательных млекопитающих. "Душитель и Палач", семейная фирма.

English: 
No. Need a professional
I will be found out
Well, I’ve got an idea…
'Asphalt contractors'…
'Assessors'…
No 'Assassins'.
'Kennels'…
'Kindergartens'…
No 'Killers'.
'Pest control'!
Rats, mice, cockroaches…
Well!
[Complete discreet disposal of irksome and unwanted mammals, etc. Ketch, Hare, Burke and Ketch. The Old Firm]

English: 
Ketch, Hare, Burke and Ketch. Can I help you?
How big - I mean, what size mammals do you go up to…
...to, dispose of?
Well, that would all depend on what size sir requires
A person?
Of course, sir
Please write down the address
The Dirty Donkey pub,
Little Courtney Street, E3
You're done?
Tonight at eight o'clock
Carry a rolled-up copy of the "Times"
Our operative will approach you there
Have a good evening, sir

English: 
Burton Kemble
Ketch, Hare, Burke and Ketch
I hear you have a job for us?
You do not look like a killer...

English: 
Oh, lor' bless us, no!
I'm not actually a part of our workforce, sir
I'm in sales
Can we talk freely here?
Sure!
Nobody's interested
Now then, sir...
...how many people would you like disposed of?
Archie Gibbons...
...he works in bookshop accounting department
His address is…
We can go into all that later, sir!
You don’t mind?
Are you aware of our prices?
500 pounds for a person
Plus mounth’s special offer
Two for the price of one
I'm afraid...
...I like most people
I don't have anyone else I want killed

English: 
You know, sir, we could probably have even knocked the price down to
Well, say four hundred and fifty pounds for the both of them
Really?
Well, it gives our operatives something to do, sir
There really isn't enough work in this particular line to keep them occupied
Not like the old days
Isn't there just one other person you'd like to see dead?
Sir?
Could I see you here tomorrow night? 
I need to think about it
Of course, sir!
I'm sure you'll be able to think of someone

English: 
[dog's bark]
A very wise decision, if you don't mind me saying so, sir

English: 
Five  hundred pounds?
I thought you want to dispose of only two people
Yes...
...As we agreed...
For two people – four hundred and fifty
Five hundred is about the bulk rate...
...sir
Bulk rate?
Yes!
But I doubt that sir would be interested in that
So, I owe you fifty pounds
Please, wait, I am...
Tell me about it!
Very well, sir
Bulk rate, five hundred pounds, would be for a large job
Ten people
Ten people? But that's only fifty pounds each
Yes, sir
It's the large order that makes it profitable
You see what times are now
I see!
 Hmm...

Russian: 
Питер вспоминает школьные годы
Питер вспоминает школьные годы

English: 
Could you be here at the same time tomorrow night?
Of course, sir!
One... Archie
Two... Gwennie
Three...
Of course!
I wonder if she's still alive
The Physics teacher
Abbot Street Secondary School
There goes your friction force!
There goes your theory of relativity!
Four...
Mr Hunterson!
He would know better than to yell at me during meetings!
Now...
Those two!
Simon Ellis
James somebody-or-other
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, jerks!
Seven...
That bully from the high school
He was laughing at me...
What’s his name so far?
David Harsharpe!
Eight...

English: 
My landlady
What a picky one!
And what...
...about the woman in the flat next door...
...with the little yappy dog that shat in the hall!
Ten...
My Great-Uncle Mervyn
He was rumoured to be quite affluent
He possibly could leave me some money
Well...
That’s all
i''m afraid there's eleven
You've counted the woman in the next-door flat and her dog as one person
That brings it to eleven, which would be an extra seventy pounds
How about if we forget the dog?
But the dog's worse then the woman!
Then I'm afraid we have a slight problem
Unless...
What?

English: 
Unless you'd like to take advantage of our wholesale rate
But of course sir wouldn't be...
Please, tell me about it
Well, sir
We can get them for you wholesale, seventeen pounds each...
...for every quarry after the first fifty...
...or a tenner each for every one over two hundred
I suppose, you'd go down to a fiver if I wanted a thousand people knocked off?
Oh no, sir!
If you're talking those sorts of figures, we can do them for a quid each!
Each one for one pound?!
That's right, sir
There's not a big profit margin on it,
...but the high turnover and productivity more than justifies it!
Same time tomorrow, sir?
One thousand pounds
One thousand people

English: 
I don’t even know that many
Maybe politicians?
Squabbling and arguing all the time
As well as the Queen
With all her family
Shame of the nation!
England needs a different monarch...
What if...
Me?..
[DISCOVER YOUR FAMILY STORY!]

Russian: 
УЗНАЙ СВОЮ РОДОСЛОВНУЮ!
Играет гимн Великобритании

English: 
I would like to dispose of...
...fourteen million...
...seventy-two thousand...
...eight hundred and eleven people.
What would be the discount?
Actually it works out quite cheaply;
Let me estimate the cost
Small-scale nuclear weapons...
Some judicious bombing...
Gassing...
Plague...
Dropping radios in swimming pools...
And then mopping up the stragglers...
Say...
...four thousand pounds
Four thou-?!
That's incredible!

English: 
Our operatives will be glad of the work
It's a pleasure to work with you, sir
We value that

Russian: 
Ночная гроза

English: 
[night thunderstorm]

English: 
Burke, Hare, Ketch. Can I help you?
I hope I'm not phoning too late...
Of course not, sir!
I was wondering if I could speak to Mr Kemble
Can you hold? 
I'll see if he's available
Are you there, caller?
Yes, I'm here
Putting you through
Kemble speaking
Ah, Mr Kemble...
Sorry if I got you out of bed or anything
This is Peter Pinter
Yes, sir?
Well, I'm sorry it's so late
...only I was wondering...
Asking myself...
How much would it cost...

Russian: 
Выстрел на улице

English: 
...to kill everybody?
Everybody in the world?
Nothing at all
You mean you wouldn't do it?
Quite the opposite sir
I mean we'd do it for nothing
We only have to be asked, you see
You will execute such a large...
...bulk order...
... for nothing?
If I just say that I...
...ask you to kill all the people?
Could you repeat that?
I did not hear
...I ask you to kill all the people...
Thank you
I took the order
But I...
Do not continue, sir
We do believe your word for it
But...
[shot]
When would you start?
Right away
Now
We've been ready for a long time

English: 
But we had to be asked
We always have to be asked
Good night, sir
It has been a pleasure doing business with you
No, no, no, please, I did not want it
No, no, no, please, I didn’t want it!
No, no, no, please...
I didn’t want it...

English: 
A very wise decision, if you don't mind me saying so, sir...
http://rhun.info/opt

Russian: 
http://rhun.info/opt
