"That's one small step for man." "I have a dream." Some words
have the power to change who we are and
the world as we know it and I want to
share with you a word that will do just
that... but first I need to share some
context. If you're like me you've had
this thought at some point in your life
about how awesome it would be to live in
a neighborhood surrounded by all your
best friends... but then if you're also
like me there comes a second realization
of "logistically speaking that's
almost impossible". In our society where
it's the norm to move every few years,
where the number one answer to "how are you doing?" is "busy" - too busy to see our
friends and family without weeks of
notice in advance where we no longer
know our neighbors somehow disconnection has become the norm. You see growing up
loneliness was a consistent theme in my
life. I had this deep longing like I
believe we all do to be loved and for me
in an Asian American home the way to get
that seemed like chasing success and
achievement so that's what I did... and
after walking that path for years past
these amazing high points like getting
into a top-tier university, raising
millions of dollars for our startup,
getting to pitch richard branson and
other billionaires on his private island,
all this stuff seemed to not deliver on
the promise that i thought it would. I
realized that I still felt really lonely
and empty inside.
And then one day something spoke to me,
and of all the random places, it was from
this one scene from the Disney movie
Moana.
Moana sets out to see by herself and
feels utterly alone but then her whole
tribe comes and surrounds her - ships
sailing right alongside, saying you are
not alone. When I saw that I got the
goose bumps and may or may not have
cried.
There's a quote from Johann Hari's
amazing book on the topic "Lost
Connections". "We without ever quite
intending to have become the first
humans to ever dismantle our tribes and
as a result we've been left alone on a
savanna we do not understand puzzled by
our own sadness". In our
quest to make it for ourselves we've
sacrificed that which we need the most
genuine human connection. So I took
it upon myself to read and learn
everything I could on the topic of
loneliness, mental health, and connection
and I started to wonder though why are
not more of us talking about this like
the crisis it actually is. Suicide rates
are increasing, violence and hate appear
in the news every day as people struggle
to deal with the hurt that we all carry
with us in some form. Connection is a
fundamental human need and we as a
culture have forgotten that. And so for
every child in each of us that still
dreams of that neighborhood where we can be known and loved this is the line in
the sand... to realize that we have the
power to change things. And to do that I
think there's something we need. I think
we need a new word.
Connectionism - well okay technically it's
already a word used in the 70s to
describe a branch of AI study of neural
networks but this definition has since
all but dropped off the radar as a word
for computer scientists. So today I'm
reclaiming the word for all of us -
connectionism - the belief that we should
intentionally prioritize safe genuine
human connection once again as a basic
human need. And a connectionist is
anyone who intentionally tries to live
that way. So I think a lot about the
minimalist movement - you know the idea
that you don't need stuff to make you
happy. A big reason we began to talk
about it in recent years was that we
finally had a word for it.
"Minimalism", "minimalism", "minimalist" - the
idea was around for millennia but the
word "minimalist" gave people a word to
identify by putting an idea - a word
gave it wings and see that's what I
believe connectionism can do for us.
It takes an intentional person to begin
prioritizing connection again even when
it's hard. A connectionist is someone who
is tired of the endless scrolling on
social media yearning for us connections
and doesn't wait until they are lonely
to prioritize community and check in on
their friends and family. And they
consider relationships as a core factor
in weighing life decisions.
Fundamentally they realize that in the
end it's up to us to make this thing a
priority. So last month I went to my
friend Rani and Akshay's wedding and
got to see a powerful glimpse of what is
waiting for us when we choose to
prioritize connection once again.
I watched as the whole community, generations, friends,
family, co-workers, all came together and
danced to show them that "hey we'll be
here for you - we love you"
This glimmer of hope that said "you don't
realize that what you've been missing and
yearning for has been here all along"
And so that fills me with so much hope
of what life could begin to look like
for us when we begin to prioritize
connection once again.
So hello again my friends it's been a
while since I last posted.
I've been busy putting all this together
for you I can't wait to share with you
all the cool stuff we have in store coming
up. We're gonna be diving into the
science to see what experts and research
have to teach us as well as exploring
the creative ways people are seeking
connection. If you feel me at all on this
message, if you resonate in any way, I
just want to be the first to say to you
"Hello Connectionist." Oh yeah and
subscribe and hit that bell so you don't
miss future videos there's gonna be a
lot of exciting things happening and
in the future I hope to be
spotlighting people doing amazing things
as well as holding real-life events all
around the world. So sign up for the email
list if any of this sounds interesting
to you, to be a part of the movement at
connectionism org. Love you all!
