Ammaji Praying loudly
This Corona has caused so much mayhem
The whole world has turned topsy turvy
what a shame it attacks poor innocent oldies like me
that's why I am stuck in this damned place
But you know what?
I am too special and that's why it didn’t affect me.... or Pran ji
want to know why?
well I soak some 'Babri Byol' at night - Chia seeds
Drink a glass in the morning one for me one for Pran ji!
I also drink lemon water with peppers every morning
One glass for me... one glass for him !
Most importantly, I ward off evil eye with 'Isband' (incense)
Can't take chances as I am one in a million !!!
However... you know poor Chaman lal caught Corona...
He still moans... would have never caught it while staying with me
Well that is so true...  Poor Chaman lal... 
His dumb wife doesn't even know what a lemon is
Well... as you know I have never been lucky with my Daughter-in-Laws
But...you which one is the smartest of the lot?
Our eldest daughter in law. Sweety ji
Pretty as a picture. (sondermaal)
First thing in the morning, she cleans the porch. (Brand fash)
Then she gets ready
and tends to her 3 children...sweet as candy
Then she goes out dishing out food to folks in lockdown.. bless her heart!
Swear to God... she even asked me...
Amma ji... are you too craving for Roganjosh 'phol'?...
Should I leave one Food box (Batt Tokk) on your door step (Darwaz pattu)
I said, No dear... I have no expectations !!!
I am content with what I have..
All said and done.. I am most worried about ....Happy ji and Munni Jigr
My boy is a simpleton.
She enticed him to go to Canada
Really don't know what happened...now they have moved to Los Angeles
I asked them what treasures lie waiting for you in Los Angeles?
Come back home
But who listens to oldies like me?
Anyway. Let's call Chaman Lal and ask him how he's doing
My beloved son had been unwell, you see.
Hello, Chaman lala
This is me Amma ji, How are you my son?
What did you have for dinner?
Oh Mum - what do I say? I am distraught
Hell's broken loose
Oh No!! what happened?
Mum, I recovered with a great difficulty from Corona
Drank gallons of 'Tethvan' and 'Kah zabaan'
So much so, people say I have turned bitter
Dog Barks - Chaman lal irritatingly shoos it away
Well, I would wouldn't I? I have 'Tethvan' plantation growing in my tummy!
Anyway. Listen to this
This Munni Jigr is going to give an interview... to the Bael Bakwas Channel
Who knows what beans she will spill?
I think she will wash all Royal dirty linen in the public
We will have mud on our face.
Oh No. That's a catastrophic
What will I do?
Why don't they stab me in the heart instead?
The entire Royal clan has been maligned
No one respects Ammaji  anymore.
What should I do now? What should I do?
Anyway. Let's call Happy ji and check on him.
Namaskar - Namaskar
Hello Happy ji? what are you doing?
Well, the rice is nearly cooked- just eating some Yaji snacks
Chewing these Yaji snacks is really fun
Offal (Demni and Pachi) is in the slow cooker
To tell you the fact, chewing on Demni and Pachi is good for you
Munni Jigr says that these Offal are super food
should I tell you a secret?
my hair, that Munni Jigr used to so lovingly pull,
is coming back due chewing on Demni and Pachi
you may have to send Royal barber over from England
Anyway, enough about me. Why are you so worried?
Oh my sweet darling ginger head.
You were born  a simpleton.where is your crafty wife??
Munni Jigr wakes up early
and cleans the porch (Brand fash)
Then she leaves to find a job.
what can I say,we have hit hard times here
especially since this Corona nightmare
There is just not enough money
our security costs £8000 a day
Any leftover money is spent on Akki ji's nappies,
I spend the day rinsing and drying the nappies
feel ashamed to tell you, but Munni Jigr was saying
we could sell stuff from 'Sonn Sandook' (treasure box)
and make our ends meet
Anyway - what's up? why are you looking for Munni Jigr?
You fool!!
This Offal is making you blind
You guys have frustrated me totally
Happy ji, I have heard that
Your wife is giving an interview today
To the Bael Bakwas Channel? Is it true?
Oh yes - and I think it is about to start.
On the Bael Bakwas Channel
Why don't we switch on our TV sets and watch?
My Munni Jigr is as bright and scintillating as lightning
Namaskar, welcome to Bael Bakwas Channel
Today we have with us our special guest Munni Jigr
you look bright and scintillating as a lightening?
California suits you?
Suit? Oh yes
I am a big actress you see
I have worked in Suits.
Hmm, yeah Big actress my foot!!
Oh my sweetheart!!
You didn't last much in England. Why?
what do I say!
I just didn't enjoy there.
I am a bit modern type
My In-laws are wealthy but very traditional
Ammaji keeps everyone under her thumb
She locks even the pantry with a big lock
and hides the key under her pillow
funnily, she sleeps on it and snores loudly
No one can get any sleep in that household
Daddy Ji and Sweety ji could  not touch the keys
I was frankly no where in the picture
Do you know this about Ammaji?
she was very loving on the face,
but called me an outsider behind my back
When she served food, she used to give
3 meatballs ( Masc gand) to Sweety ji
and just one to me
that's why! I left England.
Listen here missy! You are not a patch on Sweety ji
She is pretty as a picture (Sonder maal)
And has 3 kids sweet as candy
Oho.... That's quite a revelation
Chaman Lal ji and Sweety ji are quite close to Amma ji.
Did they not support you?
Support?
They had their own agenda to undermine me.
Sweety ji is all style no substance.
It took her the whole morning to do her hair
Didn't step out of the room without her make up
then getting her brats ready
everyone said she's pretty as a picture
and kids are sweet as candy
while I spent the whole morning cooking breakfast
and what do i tell you about Daddy ji
every morning at 5am he used to turn up in the room
Demanding Mogil Chai
Mogil Chai? As if I care about Mogil Chai!
I have always had Green tea!
Never even offered me a drink of water
Listen here... Mogil Chai has cured thousands
even patients of Corona
I have read it in Ayurved
Shooing away the dog angrily!!
Anyway! are you happy now?
Of course! I am very happy!
All that annoying interference is gone
I sleep when I want and wake up when I desire
Mogil Chai and Telvor was giving me nausea
Now I drink Green Tea and eat Bagel
And here is a  secret
A famous Band Pather (Nautanki/ Drama) company
in Los Angeles have promised to launch me!
Yeah -  what else do you expect with that face!
Good to hear that you are creating waves
but what about Happy ji?
He is happy as well
Yes, his misses his granny a lot
you see there is lockdown because of Corona
He looks after the home, cooks, takes care of  Akki ji
out there in England, he had nothing much to do
just watching the grass grow
Here he looks after the home and I bring the pennies
we both are happy!
No no- I am not happy.
She is lying!!
I spend all day washing and drying Akki ji's nappies
No one to talk to or meet
washing and drying nappies all day will drive me crazy
she is lying
I am not happy
Daddy Ji Amma Ji - I am not happy
Oh my beloved son
you have become so weak
do one thing
pick up Akki ji and come back
I will throw a grand party for you
Oh wow! my mouth is watering
yes! yes! you can eat as much as you want!
Oh what a revelation
Tell us something
what did you bring from England?
There's nothing of interest there- just rubbish
but yes, before leaving, i picked up....
i mean I was given
my in-laws gifted me
a box of treasures - sonn sandook
that too was uninteresting
it had a pashmina shawl rag
a golden plate of sorts
and this Kohi-noor thingy
That Pashmina shawl just yielded
a couple of washable nappies for Akki ji
and a couple of designer masks
The golden plate was useless
Tell me how many people eat burgers in a golden plate
the Kohinoor was sparkly- but too big
I got it made into these 2 earrings
and this pendant
now it looks scintilating
that's done and dusted
My dear - my sweetheart
why did you have to mention that Kohinooor
Now we will be in trouble.
And that was hot and scintillating Munni Jigr
on Bael Bakwas Channel
Oh my God
she broke the Kohinoor
you wretched girl
My grandmother stole that from Delhi
what will I do now
and listen you ignorant fool
that was Shahtoosh not Pashmina
No what can I do. the clan is doomed
Now I will not survive -I will die
You fools - you have disgraced the whole clan
what will we now give to Chinty Ji in her dowry?
She is making you dance on her finger tips
Please don't worry Amma ji, Daddy ji
calm down please
her interview has now finished
Let's give her a call
Oh my sweetheart
did you see my interview?
wasn't i looking gorgeous?
didn't I tell you that
these earrings and pendant would suit me
oh my beautiful - you look gorgeous
this is for you
and these flowers too
listen
your in-laws want to talk to you
they are asking us to come back
They say there is too much Corona here
what do you think?
I have told you my darling
i have told you so many times
don't like it there
i don't want to go - please!
Oh dear darling daughter
please come back
I will send you a chartered plane
please do come back
Listen to me you both
I will call this Bull Trunk and Borris Janda
I will tell them to send you 3 back pronto
Or else I will create a big ruccus
Absolutely No way- I can't return
I don't have the energy to make Mogil chai and chirrchott
I am fine here
Oh dear oh dear
If you catch corona there,  you will have to spend a fortune
look at Chaman Lal - he caught Corona
didn't pay a penny
as is now fit as a fiddle
Come back my dears- come back
listen to me you two
you are homeless and penniless
being homeless is worse than being hungry
If you come back we will give you a royal treatment
Oho -  I have said a million times. I can't live there
Gosh it is too hot here on the beach!
Drinks Corona and chokes
Oh dear - what happened
Nothing I just choked on a sip of Corona
Oh No - Corona?
the interviewer said that she is hot
She has a fever
she is coughing as well
she has got Corona
No, I am fine
This is not that Hot, not that Corona
This is a drink
Oh Happy Ji - she's got Corona
Listen here
I will send you a chartered Bullock cart
You and Akki Ji ride it and come back. Don't forget the sonn sandook (box of treasure)
you guys come back - then we will see what to do
I would, if I could. What about Munni Jigr?
We will bring her when her Corona gets better
Balai Daffa - Good Riddance
Yes, just keep her in Corona Quarantine
You and Akki ji come back with Sonn Sandook (treasure box)
What did you say- Balai Daffa?
Yes - Balai Daffa
This is about Amma ji's word and respect now
Balai Daffa
Balai Daffa
Munni Jigr- They are saying Balai Daffa
Might as well -  Balai Daffa
