

### FRIENDS DON'T

### Kerry M. Kelly

Copyright 2014 Kerry M. Kelly  
Smashwords Edition

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### TABLE OF CONTENTS

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

PROLOGUE

Katryn paced from the window to the door and back in her moderately sized bedroom. It was hard for her to admit she was actually dreading volleyball practice. It had never happened before. EVER.

She was gun-shy because of John, and she cursed him for making it so. While she waited, she found herself remembering last season. It depressed her when she realized she would probably never forget John.

He had started out innocently enough. In fact, John had actually been a godsend. When Cal had broken his leg skiing, the EVER READYs were looking at an entire volleyball season playing one man short. Without the fourth man, the team would have to forfeit if any one of the remaining three had to miss any games. Besides, the team was set up in pairs, and it just worked better all around to have the fourth man.

Katryn had immediately called the parks department to see if they could send her the list of people looking to join volleyball teams. Once she received it, Katryn doggedly started down through the 30 names. She had used the list other years, so she knew it probably would not be up to date. Sure enough, the first 24 names yielded nothing. People had moved, joined other teams, were no longer interested, or were not available on Friday nights.

John was the 25th on the list. When he said he was available, and interested, Katryn thanked her lucky stars. The league started in a week, so Katryn's team was desperate for a player. They did not get a chance to try the man out. There just was not time. John showed up for practice and was immediately accepted.

It took very little time for the team to realize he was a mistake, however. The ironic part was that he did have pretty decent skills. Most any team would have been quite happy to pick up a new man who played that well. No, the problem was not his ability, it was his attitude.

He was arrogant, obnoxious, and a ball hog. He would take shots that were not his, hit the ball over the net rather than set to teammates he considered inferior, and would argue with the ref over every call.

He did not like any of the team, but he spent extra time letting Katryn know what a poor captain she made. She was willing to bet the real problem was that he did not care to be taking orders from a woman - especially not one he could not intimidate, and Katryn stood up to him.

He had tried to take over the team, tried to change their strategy, even tried to talk a couple players into leaving and starting a new team with him. But Katryn fought him on every point, and the team backed her up. Everyone knew he was not happy with the team in general. Only Katryn had to hear, over and over, how much he hated each one of them in particular - especially Julie.

From the very beginning he had tried to get Julie replaced. She was too frail for volleyball, he had argued with Katryn. Her fingers were so weak that at least half of her sets were called illegal by the refs. He complained she had no ball sense, therefore was rarely where she needed to be. And when she did get good hits, John would whisper to Katryn 'Law of Averages says even the worst player has to eventually get one!'

While John also wanted Katryn to replace Mary and Ed, he told her more than once that if she did not 'have the balls' to get rid of all three of them, she could at least think of the team and get rid of Julie.

John had made sure only Katryn heard most of what he said. He always spoke to her after practice, waiting until the others had left. He was polite to his teammates' faces, so they had no way of knowing how much he really disliked them. Katryn had felt she was forced to listen. She believed it was one of her jobs as captain, and besides, she would rather he tell her and not upset the rest of the team.

One night, towards the end of the season, John cornered Katryn when she was leaving practice. The others had already headed out, and she was alone. He immediately started in on all that he thought she was doing wrong. He wanted Julie removed from the team NOW, and Mary and Ed would have go too - soon. They were so intent, John with yelling and Katryn with listening, that neither of them heard Tom.

Tom had come back to retrieve the volleyball he had forgotten, and was in the breezeway near the front door when he overheard John's raised voice. He stayed out of sight, wondering what was going on.

He listened quietly for a bit, surprised to hear what abuse Katryn was, and from the sounds of it, had been taking from John. He was a little hurt that she had never told him about John's outbursts.

After he had heard enough to convince himself that John had to be stopped, Tom came around the corner where he could be seen. He was startled to find that John had Katryn pinned up against a wall, poking her forcefully in the shoulder to emphasize each point he was making.

Tom told John to back off, his tone of voice warning John that he would book no argument. After he sent John on his way, advising him not to go near Katryn again, Tom proceeded to tell Katryn she was never to take anything like that from a team member again. Captain or no, she did not have to put up with that from anybody!

Tom called Katryn before practice the next week. He asked if she could please show up a little early. She had been surprised to find all of her teammates, except John, waiting for her. They had wanted to tell her, together, that they would like John off the team. The men promised they would never miss a game, so barring any accident, the team would not have to ever play short in the games. Anne, Mary and Julie assured her they would rather play short than with John, anyway. It did not take much convincing for Katryn to agree with them.

Though none of them said so, Katryn knew Tom had set up the meeting. He had been pretty upset about what Katryn had been putting up with from John, and he had been serious when he had told her he did not want her going through anything like that again, ever. It helped ease her mind that Tom was watching out for her.

It was decided that Tom and Katryn would stay at the gym to talk to John when he showed up for practice. They knew it would be better if the others left for awhile, returning after Katryn and Tom had spoken to him. Practice would start late, but it was worth it.

With Tom to back her up, Katryn waited for John. He did not take the news well. Her face still burned whenever she remembered what he had called her.

Tom, quiet, non-violent Tom, surprised John with a right cross, knocking him to the floor. It did not stop John's mouth, though. Katryn had had to hold Tom back when John continued to make remarks on his way out the door. To this day Katryn believed that, if Tom had not been there, John would have become more than verbally abusive to her. Never had she seen such hate in a person's eyes. And it had been there well before Tom had decked him.

Katryn had felt compelled to watch over her shoulder and double-lock her doors, for quite some time after John had gone.

None of the rest of the team had ever known about the altercation, nor could they guess how worried Katryn had been after John had left. Tom had taken it on himself to make sure she never left practice alone after that, though. Katryn definitely appreciated his concern. It had been a couple months now, but thinking about John still made Katryn a little uneasy.

A car horn honked outside her window, breaking into her reverie.

Katryn shook off the disturbing memories and headed downstairs to the living room.

CHAPTER 1

When Katryn heard the car honking outside, she glanced at her watch and was surprised at the time.

"Timmy, see if that's Julie, please," she asked, heading to the hall closet for her jacket. She was zipping it up when her son let her know that it was, indeed, Julie. Katryn grabbed the equipment bag and headed towards the door.

"Love ya'," she told her boys. Then, to the sitter she said, "I'll be back the same time as usual." She hurried outside. Opening the car door, Katryn teased her friend about being early.

"I wanted to make sure I got you before you got away," Julie explained.

"It wouldn't surprise you to hear I'd rather not go to practice, then?" Katryn asked, knowing the answer.

"You, Katryn Delaney, NOT want to go to practice? Why on earth would I suspect that? It can't be volleyball. I've known you for too many years to think that. There have been times I thought you'd rather play sports than breathe." Katryn had to chuckle, and her friend continued.

"If it isn't the sports, than I wonder what could possibly make you want to miss practice. I'm sure it's not the team..." Katryn agreed it was not "It's not too far, too late or too cold..." Katryn shook her head. "That could only leave one thing that I can think of. Could it possibly have anything to do with the fact that we have a new man trying out for the team?"

"Cute, Julie. Yes, it's the new man," Katryn admitted needlessly.

"Honest Katryn, he won't be as bad as John."

"Easy for you to say," Katryn told her friend.

"This one will be different," Julie promised. "And this time we can all help you decide."

Katryn nodded even while part of her wanted to scream, 'but that's not the part that's hard. DECIDING is easy. It's having to ask someone NOT to join that's hard'. She was not sure Julie would understand, though, and she did not want to get into it with her friend, so she calmly answered.

"It's a deal. Now, where'd you say you got this guy?"

"Dave, the guy I share an office with, asked if we needed any more men for our volleyball team. He said he knew someone who was looking for a team."

"Has he ever played City League ball, before?" Katryn wanted to know. Trying to teach someone how to hit legally, especially if they have been hitting poorly for any length of time, often took a lot of energy, she knew well.

"I asked Dave. He said he honestly didn't know. But Dave did say, and I'm quoting, 'this guy's quite an athlete and would surely catch on real quick'. Katryn cringed, thinking of all the times she had been told that before.

"What exactly did you tell Dave?" Katryn wanted to know.

"You don't have to worry. I told Dave that Paul was welcome to come to a practice or two and see if he even liked the team. Dave caught on right away. He laughed and asked if that was a polite way of saying we wanted to check Paul out." Julie chuckled and Katryn found herself smiling.

"That was pretty cagey, I have to admit. Thanks, I appreciate it. You haven't met this guy, Paul, before?" Katryn asked.

"No. Dave tried to set me up with him a couple times last fall, but I just wasn't in the mood for another blind date at the time. It was right after Mark, remember?" Julie shook her head vigorously and shrugged her shoulders as she thought of Mark. "Anyway, Dave said he's a good looking man, mid to late 30's, who seems nice. I understand he broke up with a long-time girlfriend probably about a year ago."

"Is he divorced? Does he have any kids?" Katryn found herself asking, knowing she really did not care, anyway.

"No, he's never been married. I know it appears a bit odd for a guy his age, but Dave said he was with his girlfriend for six or seven years. It seems he wanted marriage and kids, but she was never quite ready. Dave says he finally quit waiting. I guess he gave her six months to make up her mind. When she still wasn't sure, he left." Katryn nodded absently while they pulled into the empty high school parking lot.

"We're the first ones here. We might as well go in and get the net set up," Katryn told Julie.

"Katryn," Julie stopped her friend. "Remember that Ed, Ken, Mary and Anne all tried out and worked out ok. I have a good feeling about this guy. Dave said he's really nice. Think positive!"

"Thanks, I needed that," Katryn teased, her mood a little brighter. When they got inside the gym, Katryn headed for the equipment room. The door closed automatically behind her. She felt for, and quickly found, the familiar light switch. She rummaged around in the small room before she found the net. Every week it seemed to be in a different cubby hole. She opened the door and headed out into the gym.

"Katryn," she heard Julie say, "I'd like you to meet Paul Keegan. Paul, this is Katryn Delaney, our team's captain."

Hoping her first impression of him would be positive, she steeled herself. Taking a deep breath, Katryn turned. A strikingly good-looking man extended his hand to her. Katryn's heart skipped a beat, and she felt her face go red. He smiled warmly, but she saw the quick look of surprise in his eyes. She wondered if it were so obvious, the shocking sensation that had hit her. She had been half afraid she would dislike him right from the word go. It startled her that, instead, her whole body turned so warm. 'What's wrong with you?' she asked herself.

Katryn had never believed in love at first sight before. Still, she wondered what other explanation there was for what made her heart skip beats, her face grow redder by the minute, and her brain stop functioning completely. Well, if it weren't love, she quickly decided, then it must be lust. Embarrassed by where her thoughts had so quickly led her, she stammered a "pleased to meet you" and she reached to shake his hand.

His warm grip sent another shock wave through her. She pulled her hand away as soon as was politely possible and took another look at him. Katryn was drawn to the warm smile he still offered her. Having been single for many years, she had grown used to the slightly guarded, protected grin she usually got from single males. Not much of a smile, really, it was more an assessing look that gave nothing away of the man who was assessing. Paul's smile was a welcome change, and Katryn hoped her face was at least a little less red when she found herself smiling back.

"I can help you with that," Paul offered, nodding towards the net partially coiled over her left arm.

Katryn tried to hand the net to Paul. She had found it in a heap in the cubby hole, though, not folded up properly, so it was now an unwieldy mess with parts sticking out everywhere. Paul started towards the center of the gym, one end uncoiled. Katryn, her mind elsewhere, did not notice.

"Careful," Paul warned when she tripped slightly on the uncoiled end of the net that dragged behind him.

Katryn's face reddened appreciably. She held back from the other two, and bent down pretending to retie her shoes, needing a moment to collect herself. Watching Paul help Julie untangle the net, she was surprised by the strength of the attraction she felt for this man she did not even know.

Forcing herself to look away from him, she stared at her shoes and re-tied them yet again. She tried to understand the impact this virtual stranger was having on her. Her immediate, and much too strong, reaction to him made no sense. While it had been awhile since she dated, still, she did not feel lonely, nor in any way 'desperate for a man.'

In fact, though it was a little exciting to feel drawn to Paul, exhilarating even to feel her heart speed when he touched her, there were immediate negatives that came quickly to mind.

She started to enumerate, as a reminder to herself that they did exist, some of the pitfalls of falling in love. Her orderly life could be dumped upside down. Her poor heart could be broken into a million pieces. Her ...

"Takes a lot of concentration to tie those, huh?" Tom teased, walking past Katryn to help with the net. Startled, Katryn was jolted from her thoughts. She realized she hadn't even noticed Tom come into the gym. Covering, she answered lightly,

"I can't remember. Is it left over right or right over left?"

"Have you tried Velcro, yet? It might save you some time," Tom continued kidding her while he took one end of the net from Julie and fastened it to the far side of the gym. "Then maybe you could come help us put up the net."

"Velcro probably wouldn't help," Julie joined in. "Knowing Katryn, I'd bet she'd still forget if it were right over left or vice-versa."

"Cruel. You guys are really cruel." Katryn pretended she was hurt, but no-one bought it. She got her volleyball and joined the others, trying not to stare at Paul. Ken showed up next, and Julie took a moment to introduce Tom and Ken to Paul.

Once the net was set up, the five of them got into a loose circle and began to set the ball to each other. Katryn found the familiar movements of volleyball a welcome distraction from Paul. Concentrating on skills helped keep her mind on the sports, though it was not enough to completely stop her thoughts from wandering.

Eventually the rest of the team straggled in and also joined the circle. Julie kept up with the introductions until everyone had met Paul.

Katryn watched Paul surreptitiously. She was supposed to be assessing his playing abilities, but for just a few moments she found herself noticing other things. He was probably just over six feet tall, with thick coal black hair, and bright blue eyes. He was neither too thin nor too fat. He was obviously athletic, having good ball sense and the smooth quick moves of someone who had played a lot of sports. And he was quick to learn.

Though it was apparent that his sets were not entirely legal when he started, she saw that he watched the others intently to see how they set. Even over a very short period of time, his sets were improving. Of course, keeping an eye on him did nothing for her own skills. She wondered if anyone suspected why she blew so many easy sets.

And while she had at first dreaded even meeting this man, suddenly she no longer minded being captain at all. She only hoped Paul was unaware of how close an eye she was keeping on him.

After ten minutes of setting, Katryn gave everyone a minute before she broke them up into pairs to practice bumping. When she started to pair people up, she saw that Julie had already taken a ball, and Paul, off to the side to practice.

Shoot, Katryn thought. She had planned to put Paul with one of the stronger players. Julie had been Katryn's best friend for over ten years, and she had played on many volleyball teams with Katryn off and on during most of those years. However, John had been right about Julie's ball-handling skills, and Katryn would have preferred that Paul not pick up any bad habits. For a second she even considered splitting them up. Julie was too good of a friend, though, and Katryn would not dream of embarrassing her. She paired up the rest of the team, had them make two lines facing each other, and started the drill. One of each pair threw the ball easily to his partner who then bumped the ball on the forearm, back to their teammate.

"Remember," Katryn kidded, "Bill would call this a 'MUSCLE MEMORY DRILL'."

When Paul asked what that meant, Julie answered.

"Bill was on our team a couple years ago. He swore muscles have memories. In fact, he was pretty adamant about it. He always broke every skill down into its smallest parts, and we'd practice each part over and over. He believed that if you did something the same way, over and over, your muscles would eventually remember to do the activity by themselves. Like walking, he'd point out. You do it without thinking about it."

"So," Katryn added, "for a few minutes we work on just keeping our arms straight, our hands locked, and hitting the ball with our forearms. We start with lightly thrown balls. If muscle memory is real, we should be able to train ourselves to bump correctly by practicing with the easy hits. Then, during the game, we'll automatically, according to Bill, anyway, do well without having to think about it. In my case, though, I think I'm suffering from memory loss!" she ended on a light note; when she missed an easy throw from Tom.

Soon all the pairs were practicing. Paul and Julie were at one end of the line, and Katryn positioned herself at the other. She needed the practice, and if she could not see Paul, she knew she would concentrate better. It worked well, and she was able to get a lot out of the drill working with Tom.

After awhile, the partners backed up and they threw the balls harder and lower. This meant the bumper had to bend his knees and stay on his toes to get below the ball for a good clean hit. This drill was a little harder than the first.

Finally, the last bumping practice was 'Turkey'. One player, the turkey, got in the middle of a very large circle. There were two balls out in the circle being thrown low and hard at the turkey. While it was rare indeed that both balls were ever thrown at the same time, the turkey still had to recover almost immediately from one bump to get the next. It was a fast paced drill for working on skill and reflexes, and although it always wore them out, the team felt it was one of their better drills.

Everyone took their turn being the turkey in order around the circle. Paul was second to last, and when it was his turn, Katryn offered him an out.

"Paul, since you're new, you sure don't have to try this drill on your first night with us." Then, when he headed to the center of the circle anyway, she added lightly, "Some of these people are down-right vicious. Quit when you've had enough."

The team started out by going easy on Paul, as she knew they would. Once he got into the swing of it, though, things slowly changed. His technique was good, and his reactions were quick. Without anyone noticing, the pace picked up, and Paul kept up, seemingly effortlessly. Finally it dawned on Katryn how fast and furious the pace was getting, and how long Paul had been the turkey.

"Ok," she called out, and she made her way into the circle. Paul, on his way to the spot she had vacated, winked when he went by. She knew it was because he had done quite well on the drill. She guessed he probably did know, after all, that he was on trial.

Katryn had been captain of the EVER READYs since the team began. Her teammates liked and respected Katryn, both as a player and a coach. She had played volleyball in every league up to and including 'A' league, and she had been to more clinics than the rest of them combined. While she was quick to point out she was by no means an 'A' league player any more, her skills were equal to any on her team. More important for the team, she understood the theory, the nuances of volleyball better than most.

In spite of her knowledge, and skills, though, Katryn never took herself, or the position of captain, too seriously. She could take a joke as well as any, and enjoyed the light hearted competition that sometimes arose during practices.

In fact, more often than not she could count on the turkey drill becoming especially quick when she was the turkey. She was not surprised, then, when the drill started, good naturedly, with both balls being thrown simultaneously at her. She got one, side-stepped the other, and prepared for the onslaught.

While it never again happened that both balls came at once, they came one right after the other, thrown quite hard and very low. The men on the team threw the balls back and forth over her head so she would never know, for sure, where the ball would be coming from next. Katryn was having a good night, however, and she was able to get good bumps out of most of the throws.

When she was sure she had gone a bit longer than any of the others, Katryn caught the ball thrown to her, stood up and called "Ok, I give."

It was too sudden, though, and the others were caught off guard. Tom had already let go of a ball thrown to Ken. If she had not stood up, the ball would have sailed right over her head. Instead, the ball caught Katryn on the right temple, and spun her slightly, knocking her off her feet.

Paul glanced at Tom before he rushed to Katryn's aid. Tom stood stock still, stunned. He was unable to move. Paul recognized the look on Tom's face, and wondered if Katryn had any idea. He was unsure why he thought so, but he would bet she did not know. By the time he got to Katryn, Julie and Ken were already beside her.

"I'm fine," she was saying. "And, Tom, just tell me if you don't like the drills, ok? Honest, I can take a little criticism," she joked, starting to stand up. While Katryn continued to get up, Paul asked her to please sit still for a minute.

"That was a pretty hard throw," he explained. "You might be a little dizzy for a bit." Embarrassed, Katryn started to get up, anyway.

"It's really Ok. I'm just fine. You don't think I'll sit here and let you guys get out of more drills, do you? Tell him, Tom. I'm not that nice." In spite of her words, she was just the slightest bit unsteady when she tried to stand. Paul reached to steady her.

"Can I help you over to one of the benches?" he asked her. Katryn had been on her own too long. She was not impressed by men who treated women like they were too weak to handle something as minor as getting hit by a ball. She was also embarrassed that she had actually fallen down.

"I don't need any help," she angrily assured Paul, stepping away from him. Then, to the others, she continued, "Now let's set up for a hitting drill. Everyone line up behind Ed. I'll be the setter."

"No," Paul said firmly. "We don't practice until you go sit down." Ignoring Paul, Katryn turned to Tom who had absently picked up the errant volleyball.

"Tom, will you throw the ball to Ed so we can get started." Instead, Tom sat the ball down on the floor, and started off the court.

"I have to agree with Paul," he explained. "I know how hard that ball was thrown." Slowly the rest of Katryn's team followed Tom off the court until only Katryn and Paul remained. Katryn was furious.

"I AM ok," she whispered to Paul. She turned too abruptly, though, and was a bit perturbed when she felt herself sway just a little. Immediately Paul's hand closed around her arm, helping to steady her while he walked her over to the bench.

In spite of how angry she was and how foolish she felt, she was unable to ignore the spark of electricity that shot through her when he touched her. She had to acknowledge, though unwillingly, the warmth that was spreading from her arm where he held her, through her entire body. As soon as she could, she pulled away and sat down on the bench, hoping he had not noticed how foolishly she was reacting to him. 'Knock it off!' she told herself. 'Pay attention to volleyball. You're supposed to be the coach'.

"Now, if you'll just rest for a few minutes, we'll go back to the drills, ok?" he asked. While his tone was kind, it grated on her. It was not bad enough that he had made her appear weak in front of her own team, but the fact that his touch had made her react like a school girl with her first crush, totally unnerved her. She was far too old for such foolishness.

Besides, unwilling though she was to acknowledge it, she had to admit to herself that she was still slightly dizzy from the hit. And while she was actually relieved to be able to sit out for a bit, she would never give him the satisfaction of knowing that. Not after he had made her look so bad.

"Anne," she asked, regaining what little control she could, "Would you please set for the hitting drill? And maybe the rest of you wouldn't mind getting back out to practice, now?" Though she tried to make it sound like a joke, everyone guessed she was still a little upset.

Katryn sat out for about ten minutes. It may not have seemed a very long time to the others, but it had felt like hours to her. She walked out onto the gym floor more than ready to play. She went to the back of the line, behind Tom. She watched Paul take his turn at spiking; secretly hoping he would miss his hit. He jumped high and spiked the ball hard, down the line.

"Darn good hit!" Tom congratulated Paul. Katryn smiled wryly.

"Feeling better?" Paul asked when he got into line behind Katryn.

"I'm fine," she shot back. Paul merely nodded, suppressing a grin. In a moment, Katryn was at the front of the line, and she threw Anne the ball. Anne gave her a nice high set, and Katryn was able to get a good clean hit. She began to joke with the team again, and practice slowly got back to normal. She never had been one who could stay angry for very long.

Katryn took her turn at setting, and kept an eye on Paul. While she was really no longer angry, she found herself wishing he would do poorly. She told herself that she would like to inform him that he was not wanted, but she could not quite convince herself it was true. In spite of how much she might wish it were not so, she had to admit she was attracted to him. Besides, he not only was playing quite well, he also seemed to be getting on famously with the rest of the team.

Julie had tried to help him all evening. She had explained each drill to him when they had practiced it, and offered suggestions whenever she could. Anne, who was usually very quiet, seemed more talkative around Paul, too, and took some time helping him with his sets.

The men appeared to approve of him, also. In fact, Tom and Ed had both given her the 'ok' sign, already. Katryn was well aware it really no longer mattered how she felt, anyway. If the rest of the team wanted him, she would go along with them in spite of how foolish she had been made to feel earlier. Oh well, she told herself, you no longer have much of a say. She realized, once she said it, that she was relieved. In spite of what she had tried to tell herself, she knew she would have hated to ask Paul NOT to join.

Katryn set up one last practice with everyone setting to them-selves against the wall. Paul again asked Anne for help on his sets, and Katryn berated herself when she felt a prick of jealousy.

When everyone was about beat, Katryn began to divide them into two teams so they could play some games.

"Julie, Paul, Ed, and Mary will be one team. Tom, Ken, Anne, let's move over to the other side," Katryn told her teammates, ignoring the questioning look from Tom.

Both sides lined up with a setter in the front row and three players in the back. The two outside players in the back row played both offense and defense. While in the back row, they practiced getting their bumps to the setter. Then they had to be ready to move up to the front row to spike when the ball was set to them.

Since everyone rotated through all the positions, it gave each of them a chance to work on their best, and their worst skills. When the teams were evenly matched, it was fun, competitive, and a good practice. Most everybody had realized from the start, though, that the two teams were not evenly matched.

Katryn and Anne were the two best setters on the team. Katryn was also skilled at bumping and Anne was tall and quite a good hitter. Tom and Ken were excellent all-around players, able to bump, set and spike well. That four-some faced the others.

While it was true that Ed was a good at spiking, he was having a bit of trouble with his bumps and sets. Julie was probably the weakest member of the team, since she had difficulties setting or bumping. Mary was fair at all positions, but Paul, of course, was brand new.

Paul was not so new, however, nor so unobservant, that he missed the inequality in the teams. He smiled to himself, wondering if Katryn put all potential teammates through this particular test.

Though Julie's team served first, Katryn's team got the ball back immediately. Katryn rotated into position. Her first four serves were hard and low, and no-one was able to return them. She changed to a slow underhand serve next, and both teams volleyed fairly well. It was when Katryn moved up for a spike that things changed.

Katryn jumped and got well above the ball for a good clean spike. Paul was there, however, and blocked her hit back into her court. Katryn missed it completely. It unnerved her to realize she had never even considered Paul a blocker. She had thought he was too new! The surprise must have shown in her eyes, she realized, because Paul winked wickedly at her while her teammates called out, 'Good play, Paul.' 'Nice block.' 'Way to be there.'

While Katryn perhaps should have been happy that Paul was doing so well, she was, instead, chagrined that she had not been ready for his block, had not expected him to be there at all. Katryn did not make the mistake of under-estimating Paul a second time. While her team did beat his, it was not anywhere near as badly as she had wanted.

Katryn noticed that Paul didn't get discouraged by losing. Instead, he continued to encourage his team, and complimented each of them on good hits. He played team ball even when he knew setting to Julie or Mary might mean losing a point. And he never took hits that were obviously to someone else. When Katryn's team won, he congratulated his teammates for a game well played. She sure could not claim he was a poor sport.

"Let's change sides," Katryn told everyone after the first game. When they started to move, Tom interrupted.

"Paul, why don't you and Mary trade with Anne and me for this game?"

Katryn was surprised that Tom would try to set up the teams. It dawned on her, though, that he was trying to make the teams a little more even, and she realized there was no sense in 'testing' Paul anymore, anyway.

Her team lined up with Katryn playing setter, Paul and Ken were the hitters, and Mary was in middle back. While it unnerved Katryn a little at first to be next to Paul, she soon all but forgot his affect on her. Once the game got underway, her attention was solely on volleyball.

The next two games were a lot of fun. With the teams more evenly matched, points became harder and harder to win. Paul proved to be quite an asset since he spiked and blocked well. Tom's team took the first game by two points, and Katryn's team was ahead 17 to 16 in the final game. Ken's serve was immediately returned by Tom's team deep to Paul. His bump went over Katryn to Ken. Ken set a beautiful, high set that was falling right between Katryn and Paul. Usually the hitter takes the third hit, and Katryn, as setter, waited till the last second to move. Still Paul did not call for the hit, so Katryn took a short step to her left and jumped to hit the ball.

Colliding soundly with Paul, she just barely managed to stay out of the net while she stumbled back and to her right. She landed on the floor, watching Paul's spike bounce off Tom's hand to go out of bounds.

CHAPTER 2

"Great spike. Sorry I was in your way," Katryn told Paul while she scrambled to get up off the floor.

"Are you ok?" he asked quickly, reaching to help her up. Then he added, a little sheepishly, "I guess I forgot to call for the ball."

"I'm ok, honest," Katryn smiled, stepping backwards, causing Paul to release his grip on her arm. "That was a good spike..." The rest of the team came over to congratulate Paul on his hit, and Katryn moved out of the way, hoping no-one would notice the effect Paul had on her. Tom walked over towards Katryn and asked how she was.

"Only my ego's hurt. I think I spent more time on the floor than on my feet tonight," she answered lightly, relaxing. Tom's face grew taut and he quickly apologized.

"Listen, I'm sorry about hitting you earlier. I ..."

"Tom, you don't have to apologize. I knew it was an accident. No problem. Besides, you ought to know you can't hurt me by hitting me in the head. It's entirely too hard. Now, how about helping me get the net down? It's almost nine." They started to take down the nearest side of the net, and soon the others were helping, too.

When she started to fold up the net, Katryn glanced around to see where Paul was. He was with Julie. Before she could think about that, Tom drew her attention.

"Are we going to Denny's for a coke?" he asked as everyone gathered up coats and volleyballs.

"I hope," she told him. Then, to the others she said, "Everyone's going to Denny's for a quick coke, right?" Katryn heard Julie ask Paul if he were going to join them, but she was unable to hear his answer because Anne came over to talk to her.

"You are going to ask him to join the team, aren't you?" Anne asked sharply.

"Tom and Ed want him on, too. He plays pretty well," Katryn answered honestly, surprised at Anne's attitude.

"I'd be happy to work with him on his sets," Anne continued. "His spikes are fairly good." She quickly added, "He has his bumps down."

Anne knew Katryn usually only helped new players with bumping and let Anne work with them on their setting. By adding that Paul was ok with his bumping, Anne was saying, in effect, that Katryn would not need to help Paul at all. Katryn wondered if she were just imagining the testy tone in Anne's voice.

Ken joined them, then, and added his favorable assessment of Paul's skills. Katryn assured them both she would ask Paul to join the team, and then Ken and Anne walked out of the gym. Soon Tom, Ed, and Mary walked over to where she was standing. When Mary told Katryn she was all for Paul, Tom and Ed reminded Katryn that they would like him to stay, too. Then the three of them headed out to their cars.

Katryn was waiting for Julie and Paul to stop talking so she would not have to interrupt them. When the janitor walked into the gym, Katryn gave up being polite.

"Hey, you two, the janitor's waiting for us to leave. You'll have to talk outside or at Denny's"

Katryn turned and left the gym. She tried not to look cold, waiting by the car door. Paul walked Julie to the car. He held the door for her while she got in, and closed it when she was settled. Julie reached across the front seat and unlocked Katryn's door. By the time Katryn was inside, Paul was there to close her door for her.

"Sorry we kept you waiting out in the cold. I didn't realize you rode together," he apologized before the door slammed shut.

Katryn rolled the window down and told him it was all right, she hadn't minded at all. The cold fresh air felt good after the heat and stale rank air of the gym, and volleyball, she explained. He waved while Julie backed out of their parking space, and Katryn waved back.

"Is he is coming to Denny's?" Katryn asked her friend while she cranked the window back up.

"He said he was," Julie answered. Then she added, "I can't believe I told Dave I didn't want to meet this guy before. Katryn, he's perfect. He's so good-looking, he's a sweetheart, and what a gentleman! I really like him. He even plays volleyball well. You are going to ask him to join the team, aren't you?" Julie wanted to know.

Katryn suddenly felt very cold. She knew it had nothing to do with the freezing February air that was seeping in her window. It went way too deep for that. She was unable to answer, so she pretended not to hear. She was relieved she was turned away from her friend while she concentrated on getting her window rolled up. She did not want Julie to see her face. She knew it would mirror the pain she was feeling.

'Of course she likes him', Katryn told herself. 'Wake up. There's no such thing as love at first sight anyway'. She tried to push her feelings for Paul from her mind.

"Katryn," Julie repeated, "You are going to ask Paul to join the team, aren't you?"

"I am," Katryn answered, recovering slightly. "Everyone wants him. Even Anne. She's never said one way or the other before!" The warmth of the car was suddenly becoming almost claustrophobic.

"I think she kinda' likes Paul," Julie offered. Of course, Katryn thought wryly. Doesn't everyone? When Katryn didn't answer, Julie asked, "Don't you think so?"

"I suppose. He does seem nice." Katryn kept her voice light when she answered.

"He is nice. He was pretty worried about you, by the way. He even asked if I knew you well enough to know if you were really ok, what with being knocked around a couple times. I told him you were fine. You are, aren't you?"

Katryn nodded. Of course she was fine. Physically she was only bruised. Emotionally she would just put herself on hold. No big deal anyway, she told herself. After all, she barely knew the guy. She could not quite explain to herself why she felt so cold and so numb, though.

Julie pulled into Denny's parking lot. She and Katryn got out of the car, and headed towards the restaurant. Katryn was about half way there when she realized she had forgotten her purse.

"Shoot. How about lending me the car keys?" she asked, turning towards her friend. "My purse is still locked in the trunk. Oh and there's Paul waiting at the door for you. Go on ahead, I'll be right there." Julie went on towards the restaurant and Katryn went back to get her purse, glad to have a moment to think things through.

She and Julie were best friends, for heaven's sake. How had she not noticed sooner that Julie liked Paul? She thought back over the evening, and, in retrospect, saw all the signs.

Julie had immediately taken over introducing Paul to everyone. Katryn remembered how Julie had taken Paul for the bumping drill. She looked back over the night, and she even saw all the flirting she had missed before. In the end she remembered that Julie and Paul had been talking together well after everyone else had left the gym. It appeared to Katryn that Paul must like Julie, too.

Katryn realized, then, that she had not seen the signs because she had been too wrapped up in Paul, herself. And maybe, she admitted, just maybe, she had chosen not to see the signs because they were not exactly to her liking.

Well, it was much too late now. Julie had staked her claim. Katryn would have to back away and get used to the numb feeling that now enveloped her. She got her purse from the trunk, and headed back towards the restaurant. She was surprised to find Paul waiting at the door to Denny's when she got there.

"Thank you," she told him when he held the outer door open.

"Wait a minute, Katryn," he said while they stood between the two sets of doors. He reached for her arm and turned her towards him. "Julie says you want me on the team. Is that correct?"

"It is," she answered; glad her heavy winter coat prevented him from touching her. "It was unanimous, and that's a first," she admitted.

"Even you?" he asked, teasing.

"You passed every test. Didn't even get upset when you were on the weaker team. I have no reason NOT to take you."

"Were you looking for one?" he wanted to know.

"No," she answered, a little too quickly. Once she said it, though, she realized it was a lie. She knew she had been attracted to him right from the start. She saw clearly now that she had tried to come up with reasons to get him off the team.

It explained why she had made the teams uneven. She had been hoping he would get upset and quit. It was really because she was a little afraid of her feelings for him, and not because he had tried to help her after she had been hit! What a fool she was. Well, she would have to think about it later. For now, maybe she should be glad he liked Julie; maybe it would be a whole lot easier for her!

She shook herself to clear her thoughts. Paul, misunderstanding, apologized for keeping her out in the cold. Katryn went through the inner door that Paul opened and headed to the back of the restaurant where her team always sat. She smiled ruefully when she saw where Julie was sitting.

Two round booths were now joined with a table in the middle. Along the back were Ken, Ed, Mary and Tom. On the right side were Anne and Julie. That meant Paul and Katryn had to sit in the left circle. Katryn guessed that Julie had purposely sat next to Anne so that Paul would be between Julie and Katryn.

Katryn knew that Julie considered her no threat. They had decided years ago that no man was worth breaking up their friendship. It had always been first come, first serve. Whoever met the guy first had first choice. They trusted each other completely. In ten years they had never argued over a man.

'And we'll not argue now,' Katryn told herself. She hoped a pep talk would help, so she continued. 'Julie said she liked Paul first, so he's hers, period. You'll only talk to Paul to make sure he spends less time with Anne. You'll bring up Julie's name whenever you can. You'll be the 'safe' friend Julie can count on even if it kills you! Remember, friends don't ever fight over men.'

She had to smile as she slid in next to Ed. 'A little melodramatic, don't you think?' she asked herself. 'After all, if the time he spent with Julie in the gym is any indication, your attraction for Paul is only one-sided anyway'.

Paul sat down next to Katryn, and while he was plenty close enough to Julie to keep Julie happy, he was far too close to Katryn to make her happy. She wondered if anyone would notice she wasn't taking off her coat. The waitress was at the table to take their orders shortly after Katryn and Paul were seated.

"The usual?" she asked, and Katryn nodded. "I don't know your friend," the waitress then mentioned to Katryn. "Is he new?" She winked, knowing he was. She knew the team well, having waited on them after their volleyball practices for the last year. She had known they were looking for a new guy.

"He is. This is Paul. Paul, this is Denise." Katryn introduced the waitress to him before adding, "And, if he'll accept, we're hoping he'll join our team."

"That's right, Paul. We'd like to have you on our team," Tom added. Paul looked at Tom, wondering what that cost him, only half listening while the rest of the team asked him to stay, too.

"Thanks. I'll be glad to stay. By the way, what's our team's name?"

"The EVER READYs," Julie said, laughing. "Like the battery that never quits."

"It really means we need re-charged after every game," Ed told him. "Some of us are too old for this." They laughed at Ed's joke. Ed, at 28, was the youngest person on the team. The others ranged in age from Ken, who was 30, to Tom, who was 42.

"We really only need re-charged after practice," Tom amended. "Katryn's quite the slave driver, you'll soon find out." When the laughter died down, the waitress took their orders then left.

"How long has this team been together?" Paul asked.

"I joined about five years ago," Tom answered. "Same time you did, right Ken?" Ken nodded and Tom continued. "Mary and Anne joined a while after that. Ed's been here a year, now. Julie, you started when Ken and I did, and then quit for awhile, right? And you've been back for about a year this time?"

"That's right," Julie agreed.

"And you, Katryn, how long have you been an EVER READY?" Paul wanted to know.

"Forever, I think," Katryn told him, hoping to change the subject.

"Katryn started this team," Tom told Paul. "She quit the team she was on at the time and started this one." Paul appeared surprised to hear that.

"You quit a team?" he turned to ask her. "Why?" Katryn did not want to go into why she had left the previous team, so she just shrugged.

"No one wanted me?" she teased, shrugging her shoulders.

The waitress saved her, interrupting when she handed them their drinks. Then the conversation changed quickly. Julie wanted to know more about Paul. Katryn was quite sure most of the others, wanted to, too, and he readily obliged.

They found out he was in upper management at the transit center, having worked his way up from driver. He admitted to being 38 and still single, and when Anne asked how he managed that, he laughed and told her he had never found anyone who would have him. Though not one person at the table could quite believe that, everyone laughed anyway.

When Paul's third degree was over, he turned the tables on the others and found out more about his new teammates. Katryn was able to find out little things she had not known before. She had known that Ed was a disc jockey, Tom was the director of the museum, Ken drove 18 wheelers, Anne and Mary were nurses, Julie was a teacher, and Katryn owned her own book store.

Now they all knew that Mary, the only one on the team who was married had two boys who were six and four. They found out that Anne, like Katryn and Julie, was divorced, Ed was a bachelor and Ken had a three year old son who lived with his ex-girlfriend.

Katryn did not know a lot about the personal lives of her team-mates. She had always felt it was prying to ask certain questions, believing that others would offer what information they wanted to share. She really only knew Julie and Tom very well, considering them both to be close friends.

Sports had drawn the team together, and usually they discussed sports, or life in general, when they went for a coke. She enjoyed getting those personal glimpses of the rest of the team, and wondered if they, too, felt just a little closer to each other now.

"And you, Katryn?" Paul interrupted her thoughts. "What about you?" She should not have been caught off-guard. It was just that she forgot he might want to know a little more about her.

"Oh, there's not much to tell," Katryn answered.

"All right. Name, rank, and serial number," he ordered with a smile.

"Katryn Delaney, coach, 9911625."

"I give," Paul conceded. "What's 9911625?"

"No, don't encourage her," Tom's warning came too late. He groaned with the others when Katryn answered.

"UPC code for Cheerios. My Cereal Number."

"Now you've done it, Paul. We'll probably get nothing but sick jokes the rest of the night," Ed chastised him.

"I'm crushed. I think I'll just make like a tree and LEAF," Katryn said pretending to be offended. The others groaned again.

"Better stay," Tom offered, "so we can get to the ROOT of your problem."

"No, it's probably time for me to be BRANCHING OUT into other sports," Katryn rejoined amid continued moans from her team-mates.

"I think you'd be BARKING up the wrong tree, there," Paul answered, joining in the fun.

"Oh, no! Not you, too?" Julie said, smiling coquettishly at Paul. "Now see what you've done, Katryn, you've corrupted him already!"

"He seemed a bit SHADY from the start," Katryn offered.

"Stop. Have you no mercy?" Mary asked, and the tree puns slowly died down.

Though Paul had immediately noticed that Katryn had managed to not give out much information about her, he ignored it. He decided to let it go for now. Instead, he found Julie was trying fairly hard to keep his attention on her.

He concentrated on Julie and Anne who vied for his attention, and was still able to overhear bits and pieces of Katryn's conversation. With the little he caught, he knew Katryn, Tom and Ken were discussing volleyball strategy. At one point he overheard Tom reminding Katryn that she should be working with the newest member of the team. He was unable to hear more, however, because Anne asked him still another question. Knowing that Katryn, Tom, and Ken must be discussing him, he never-the-less regretfully turned his attention to Anne.

"Tom," Katryn said quietly, hoping Paul wouldn't hear, "I just think someone else would work better with him."

"But you worked with John," Ken interjected. "And, since John left, you need to take the new man. If you don't work with Paul, it'll mean two teams start over."

"Oh, come on, Ken. I've worked with all of you before, so it wouldn't be that bad." Turning to Tom she asked lightly, "You wouldn't mind giving up Anne for me, would you?"

"Of course not," Tom answered, smiling wryly and shaking his head. "But Ken's right, Katryn, you could work with me, and there'd be no problem with us. Paul's new, though, and he needs to learn to work with the whole team. You're the coach, and you need to break him in right. Then trade off next season, if you want," he added knowingly.

"You sure it isn't just that you don't want to give up Anne's great sets for mine?" she asked, realizing she had lost, but trying to keep it light.

"She is one fine setter..." Tom answered, smiling.

"I'm crushed yet again. Maybe I should make like a tree..."

"No," Ken begged, "Not again." The three of them shared a laugh, and were soon discussing how they would do in the league. After all, the 'new man' was fitting in much better than they had ever expected.

At about ten thirty, Katryn signaled Julie that she wanted to go. Julie nodded that she, too, was ready to leave.

After they said their goodbyes, Tom offered to walk them to their car. Katryn saw the look that crossed Julie's face and guessed her friend was disappointed that Paul had not offered. Katryn knew Julie well enough to know she was probably also a little bothered because not only was Paul staying, but Anne was staying with him.

When they got to Julie's light gray Dodge 600, Katryn realized she still had Julie's keys. She carried the keys to Julie's side, and then she and Tom walked to the passenger side. When Julie got in and quickly shut the door against a cold February wind, Tom and Katryn started around the back of the car. Tom stopped Katryn when they got near her door.

"Katryn, if you need a friend to talk to, ever, you can ask anytime. Ok?"

"What makes you think ..." she stammered, startled. "I mean, I'm ok ..." she stopped herself. Then, looking at Tom quizzically, she answered, "Thanks. I might just take you up on that."

"Anytime, Katryn. I mean it." She nodded. Tom reached for the door and held it open for her. Saying goodbye to both of the women, he closed the door, waiting until Julie began to back out of her parking space before he walked away.

Paul, watching through the huge restaurant windows, wondered idly what Tom had said to Katryn that he obviously had not wanted Julie to hear. Then Anne brought him back into the conversation at the table. Paul took the opportunity to get to know his teammates a little better.

All the way home, Katryn heard how wonderful Paul was. It was obvious that Julie was more than a little taken with him.

"Katryn, about Saturday..."

"No problem, Julie. If you get another offer, the boys and I will understand. We'll be going roller-skating either way, so, if you can join us fine. Otherwise, have a really good time with Paul ... or whoever," Katryn teased.

"Thanks. You know I enjoy our nights out roller-skating ..."

"But Paul might be a more fun date? I'm sure I can't see how anyone would prefer Paul to the boys and me, but I guess I'll get over it," Katryn remarked. Julie thanked her again as they pulled in the driveway. Katryn went into the house and was relieved the boys were asleep and Audrey had her own car to drive home in.

Katryn lay quietly in bed re-hashing the events of the evening. Giving herself another pep talk, she reminded herself, again, that she and Julie were too close to let a man come between them. 'Friends don't fight over men,' she reminded herself.

While acknowledging the physical attraction she felt for Paul, she decided her best bet was to try to forget any feelings she was beginning to have for him. Julie had said she was interested in Paul first, and Katryn would back out. After all, there had been men she had been attracted to before that were not available to her. Granted, none had ever affected her this strongly before, but she would get over this one, too.

'Besides,' she reminded herself, 'Julie's average is about three months with a guy. Surely I can put up with the situation that long. And, hopefully, after they die down, Paul will quit the team. Then all would be fine,' she assured herself.

Before she finally fell asleep, resolving not to allow Paul to get to her at all, she fleetingly wondered if, and then how, Tom could have so easily figured out her predicament. 'Good old Tom,' she thought, drifting off to sleep. 'He's been a pretty good friend these past few years. I can really consider myself lucky to have both Tom and Julie for friends.'

Katryn got up at six. No matter how late her evenings were, or what day of the week it was, she invariably awoke at 6:00.

She stood surveying herself in the full-length mirror in her bedroom. The dark blue slacks fit her slender frame nicely. She tucked in the baby blue silk blouse and shrugged on a dark blue blazer. She pulled her long thick blonde hair out and over her collar to fall softly curled around her shoulders.

Katryn again thought of Paul and Julie. Thinking of Paul with Julie was not easy, however. Rehashing last night did not seem to lighten the sting at all, Katryn realized. She stared at her reflection in the mirror.

While Katryn would have been hard pressed to find an extra three pounds anywhere on her slender, well-rounded frame, Julie was very small and very petite. Often Katryn, at 5'7", found herself feeling huge in comparison, wondering how any man could ever even notice her with Julie around.

While critiquing the figure in the mirror, she started to smile. 'No, Katryn Delaney, you've really nothing to be embarrassed about,' she decided. 'But neither do you have enough to be conceited about. And it did seem that Paul liked _petite_ better!' Glancing at her watch, she was surprised at how late it was. She gave her hair a final brush through and went downstairs to fix breakfast.

"Hi, mom," Ryan greeted her. "You're late this morning."

"Maybe you're just a bit early," she teased. "Is Timmy up, yet?"

"He just got in the tub. How was your practice? Did the new guy show up? What's he like?"

"He plays really well, and it looks like he'll fit in fine. I even think Julie kinda' likes him."

"Oh. Then he's not someone you'll date," Ryan said dejectedly.

"'Fraid not, buster. But then, I only wanted a teammate anyway! Now, how about setting the table?"

Katryn had the grapefruit sectioned, the marmalade on the table, and was almost finished with the hot cereal when Timmy finally joined them. Two pieces of toast popped up from the toaster, and Ryan buttered them while he waited for his mom to serve the oatmeal.

"What's the new guy like?"

"A good player. We'll keep him," she told her other son. She watched Ryan slowly shake his head, and his brother nodded that he understood.

CHAPTER 3

Katryn mused about her two sons while she poured cereal into three bowls. They were eight years old. Twins. But not even a little bit alike. Ryan, fair-haired with a light complexion, looked more like his mother. He was happy-go-lucky and took life easy. Timmy, while also being blue-eyed, had a darker complexion and dark brown hair. He got his coloring from his father. He also appeared to have gotten more of his father's temperament, Katryn often thought.

Timmy had taken life entirely too seriously seemingly from birth. Ryan was cute, full of smiles, and all the women seemed to fall for him as soon as he flashed his big blue eyes. Timmy was a good-looking boy, not cute, who smiled much less often and got along better with men - especially men who considered Ryan's happy-go-lucky ways a bit immature.

Even the way they played sports showed their differences. Ryan played soccer socially. He did not care if they won or lost. In fact, occasionally he would be too busy talking, even during games, to notice when the ball was coming towards him. Timmy played to win. He took games, and even practices, seriously. Ryan's easy-going manner sometimes infuriated his brother during soccer games.

Katryn wondered, again, how two boys, born together and raised together, could be so dissimilar.

But while they were so different about every other aspect of their lives, her sons shared one wish. They both hoped that their mother would someday remarry so they would have a father. They knew little about their real father. Not much more than the fact that he had been killed in a car accident when they were six months old. But they knew for sure they would like a new one.

When breakfast was over, Timmy cleared the table while his mother put the dishes in the dishwasher. The three of them ended up in the living room where Katryn read a few pages from The Giving Tree. At a little after eight they headed out to the car. Katryn dropped the boys off at Pasadena Park Primary, and then headed downtown to go to work.

She would have readily admitted to anyone who asked, though, that she could hardly consider it work. While her social life might be shot right now, her professional life was doing quite well, thank you. She pulled into the familiar parking space at the Flour Mill, and sat in her car an extra minute or two. She admired the beautiful wooden building that housed her store.

The Flour Mill had originally been just that, an old flour mill. When Spokane prepared for the 1974 World's Fair, the flour mill went through a miraculous metamorphosis. It was now a beautiful old wooden building comprised of four floors of shops and restaurants. One could spend an entire day and probably not see everything.

The Treasure Chest held Scottish and Irish treasures hard to find anywhere else in Spokane. There was a shop where Birkenstock shoes and leather goods could be purchased. In other shops, hand blown glass figurines were made while you watched. Dishes, spices, kitchen utensils, and cookbooks could be found. Pipes and tobacco of all kinds were sold. There were clothing stores, toy stores, and stores selling every possible 'Collectible' you could want. Katryn believed a little of everything could be found at the Flour Mill.

And if one grew hungry, why there were choices galore there, too. An ice cream parlor, a chocolate shop, and even a fresh baked cookie store. The flour mill also housed a pizza parlor, a restaurant offering real Thai food, and of course, Clinkerdaggers, Bikkerstaff and Pitts.

'Clinkerdaggers', as it was usually referred to, was an inviting restaurant with a view of the Spokane River's falls. The waiters and waitresses wore authentic old English costumes, and the menus were old English, also. It was well known throughout the area for its delicious food.

Katryn was very proud to be part of the family of Flour Mill stores. Katryn's Books had been at the Flour Mill for almost seven years now. A small inheritance from her grandfather had given her enough capital to open the store. It had been a pretty big gamble at the time. Katryn had debated for months whether she should chance buying the store or keep the money for a safety net for the boys and her.

Her husband's insurance had paid for their home with a little left in savings. She was making just barely livable wages at Crystal Laundry where she was working as a mangle operator, and she worried about what would happen if the store did not make it.

Deciding finally, that if the store failed, she would none-the-less be no worse off than before the inheritance, she decided to go for the store. After all, even if it did go bust, she would always be able to look back and say she at least tried.

So, with a little fanfare from her closest friends, Julie among them, Katryn had opened her store on March 17th almost seven years ago. She had picked the 17th on purpose. Being Irish, she had hoped opening on St. Pat's Day would give her a little extra luck. And it seemed to have done just that.

Turning the key in the lock, Katryn again could hardly believe how lucky she had been. The store had done better than she had dreamed possible. She had been able to put back the equivalent to her inheritance, and was able to live comfortably from the store.

It seemed the store was at a perfect location. Not only was it visited frequently by many other of the Flour Mill's inhabitants, but it also attracted a fairly large clientele from the outside.

Katryn could never quite believe she was making a living doing something she loved so much. Books had always been a major part of her life, starting way back in her childhood when her mother read to her. Her mother had tried to make Katryn feel a part of every book she read.

She asked her daughter to imagine soaring like the birds, feeling the wind beneath her wings. Katryn had been encouraged to swim with the fish, run with the wolves, and fly with the eagles in her mind. Katryn now encouraged her sons to likewise experience each book she read them. And she read to them often from her modest library.

'Surely you could ask no more from life than a job you truly love', Katryn thought. And she knew she owed a lot to her mother. She reminded herself to thank her mother again, next time she called, for teaching her how to love books.

"Mornin' Katryn. You're early." Joe smiled at her while he half-teasingly admonished her. The rest of the Flour Mill opened at 9:30, but Katryn, as usual, had her doors open well before nine.

"I wanted you to have plenty of time to browse," she answered lightly. Joe nodded and made his way into the store. As she knew he would, he headed straight towards the used book section in the northwest corner of the store.

Joe started through the swinging doors, and paused for just a moment to look up at the beautifully hand-carved wooden sign that hung above him. _Joe and The Missus_ it proclaimed proudly. Katryn swallowed around a small lump in her throat, and she thought back to how the used book area had come to be.

Katryn had first met Joe shortly after her store had opened. He was the building's main custodian at the time, and he loved to read. On his days off, he and his wife would both come into Katryn's store to pick out books. Joe loved westerns, and his wife, whom he always called 'The Missus' read romance.

Joe would tease his wife about reading 'those silly love stories', so Katryn and The Missus would counter that westerns were just men's romance stories. Joe always pretended to be horrified at the thought, and the good natured teasing would continue until they each had a few books to take home.

After a year or so, Joe and his wife approached Katryn about a used book section. They had hundreds of used books, they explained, and they wanted them to be of some use. If Katryn could use them, they would give all the books to her.

At first Katryn was not all that sure she wanted to get into used books, but they talked her into it. Joe even remodeled the corner of the store into a room with a western look. Then he built the swinging doors for it.

The used book section became quite popular, and didn't seem to take away from her regular sales. Katryn remembered the only 'difficulty' the used book store had caused.

Katryn knew she owed Joe and The Missus for the idea, along with the first books she had for the USED section. When other customers brought books in, Katryn had offered her friends unlimited use of the books. Joe had been offended when she said she would not charge them. After all, he had told her, that had not been their idea when they had given her their books.

It had taken Katryn weeks to finally convince them she owed it to them - weeks, and the threat she would never order another western if he argued further. Eventually, she was even able to convince him she would never have had that part of her store without him. He may not have agreed, but he finally accepted the used books for free.

Joe and The Missus had been childless, and over the years, they became the only family Katryn and her boys had in Spokane. On holidays, the two families exchanged gifts, and shared family dinners.

All Katryn's relatives lived back East. She had neither the money, nor the time, to take the boys back to visit but one time since her husband had died. So Ryan and Timmy grew up with Joe and The Missus being the only grandparents they really knew. Katryn was sure her boys could not have gotten more love and attention from their real grandparents.

About three years ago, Joe retired, and he and The Missus spent a year and a half traveling. Every trip they brought back things for the boys, and Katryn tried to always have plenty of new westerns and romance stories for them to stock up on for their next trip.

Then, a little over a year ago, The Missus had died in her sleep. It had been totally unexpected as she had seemed very healthy. Suddenly, all the free time that Joe had enjoyed became too much for him. He needed something to do.

The Flour Mill was happy to hire him back even though he only wanted a part-time job, and Katryn was especially glad he had found a way to fill a few of the lonely hours. He seemed so lost without The Missus.

It had also been hard on Ryan and Timmy. They lost the only grandmother they ever really knew. Luckily, Joe took up some of the slack. He became a bigger part of their family, and he spent a greater amount of time with the boys. He even started going to their soccer games on Saturdays when they played, and was waiting for their games to start again this spring. Still, they all missed The Missus.

Katryn decided to have the sign made for the used book section, and hung it there just a few months ago. She was anxious that first morning, wondering what Joe would think of it. She had opened earlier than usual, hoping he would be in before anyone else.

He had not disappointed her. He was there earlier than ever, almost as if he knew. When he saw the sign, though, Katryn was sure he was surprised. With tears in his eyes, he had come back to the front of the store to hug Katryn. They cried, some, and talked a little more about The Missus. Joe thanked Katryn for helping to keep her memory alive. The customers who had known Joe and The Missus, some of whom had become Katryn's customers because of Joe and The Missus, thanked her, too.

Every Tuesday and Thursday Katryn knew Joe would be by to visit her before work, and he would pause, just for a moment, to look up at the sign before he went into the used book section.

Katryn's reverie was interrupted when some other people who worked at the Flour Mill came by, glad to see her open early. Janet needed ideas for a game for her seven year old nephew, and Katryn pointed out a couple different ones Timmy and Ryan especially liked.

She mentally gave herself one more pat on the back for adding games this last year, and then went over to help another customer. The woman wanted books her 14 year old daughter would like. Katryn directed her to that section of books, mentioned L. M. Montgomery, the author of Anne of Green Gables, who had numerous other books that seemed to be pretty popular with young ladies, and then left her alone to choose what she wanted.

The morning sped by with more customers than was usual for a Tuesday. Katryn spent all her free time working on last week's paperwork. She saved the numbers work for Tuesday's since they were usually her slowest day. Luckily her desk was right up front, part of the corner by the counter, so she could work and still be available to answer questions or ring up sales.

Dottie, who came in to cover for Katryn's lunch hour, would probably be happy to work extra, Katryn knew, so she did not mind that she had not gotten very far on the paperwork. She was turned away from the door, straightening a stack of books, when she heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"Do you have any books that would be good for a ten year old boy?"

"Do you know what ..." she started to ask, turning. Paul was not three feet from her, smiling that same warm smile. Her heart, in spite of her resolve, flipped a time or two then sped up noticeably before she could even speak.

"Hello, Katryn. How are you doing this morning? Stiff and sore after last night?" he asked, smiling. Blushing brightly, worried about how her customer's might interpret that remark, Katryn quickly stammered out her answer.

"I'm fine ... I told you I was ok ... Tom didn't hurt me when he hit me ... I mean ..." Realizing she had made it sound even worse, she stopped. Seeing Paul's smile widen, Katryn forced herself to take a quick breath and calm down before she tried again.

"Getting knocked down at practice isn't a big deal. I don't think there's any sport you play where you don't get hurt once in a while. I'm fine, though. Thanks for asking. What brings you here? Surely you weren't that worried I was hurt," she asked, hoping to change the subject.

"As a matter of fact, a few reasons. First, I did want to make sure you're ok. I have a feeling that you're not the type that tends to let others know when you are really hurt. I do have to admit, though, that you look just fine to me," she was sure she saw just a flicker of amusement in his eyes before he continued. "Next, I really do need to purchase something for my soon-to-be 10yr old nephew. Any suggestions?"

"Well, do you have any idea where his interests lie? Is he into Star Trek or Star Wars? Does he have any hobbies?" Paul thought for a moment, and then admitted he was not sure. His nephew, he explained, lived in Wyoming and Paul saw little of him.

"Does he play any sports?" Katryn asked next.

"Yes. He plays basketball and soccer," Paul appeared relieved he had known that much, at least, about his nephew.

"Great, I've just the book," Katryn turned to show him where the book was, and then noticed a customer waiting at the register.

"It's halfway down the middle aisle on the left. Give me a minute and I'll come help you." Katryn pointed Paul towards a section of books, and then went back to the cash register to help other customers.

It seemed everyone found what they wanted at once, and Katryn spent the next 15 minutes ringing up sales. When she was finally free, she looked up to see Paul standing a few feet away, watching her. She was amazed that she could have forgotten about him for even a moment!

"You couldn't find the book?" Katryn asked, seeing his hands were empty.

"I wasn't sure just where it was," he told her, smiling that heart-stopping smile of his.

"I'm sure it's just to the left, where I pointed." Katryn headed back to the sports section, looked at the left side of the aisle and spotted the book. "There it is," she told him a little triumphantly, because she had been right. On tiptoes and stretching, she was still a bit short of reaching the book which was, of course, perched on the top shelf.

Paul placed his hand on her shoulder and she lowered herself back to the floor.

"If you'll just tell me which one you want, I'll get it down," he told her.

Through the soft silk of her blouse, Katryn could feel the heat from Paul's hand. She now wished she had never taken her blazer off, no matter how warm she had been earlier. It might have sounded odd to anyone else, but with the blazer off, Katryn was now many degrees warmer than when the blazer was on, earlier!

"Why that one ... the foot one," she barely got out, a little flustered by his touch.

"The foot one," Paul repeated, obviously not seeing it.

"I mean BEST FOOT FORWARD," she finally got out. While Paul reached for the book, Katryn lectured herself again about acting like a school girl. It took only a moment before she had herself under control. It did not hurt, of course, that Paul had released his hold on her shoulder when he reached for the book. When Paul handed the book to Katryn, he noticed her face turning red.

"I forgot to tell you the name of the book when I sent you back here. That's why you couldn't find it," she explained more to herself than to him.

"True," he told her. "I thought maybe you were trying to get rid of me."

If it hadn't been for the twinkle in his eyes, she might have felt guilty and would have quickly assured him that was not the case. She realized he was teasing, though.

"Sorry I left you for so long. I got busy."

"Are you the only one in the store?" Paul wanted to know.

"As a matter of fact, I'm usually alone every morning. Dottie comes in to spell me for lunch, and if it's really busy, she's happy to stay. Most mornings are slow, though, and Tuesdays especially so. I hadn't expected this many people today. Not that I mind the business!" she added.

"You seem to know a lot of the customers by name," he told her.

"There's a lot of repeat business in any book store," she admitted, surprised that Paul had noticed. "I decided from the start I'd try to get to know all of the regulars that I could. It seemed the least I could do if they were going to spend their hard-earned money in my store. Besides, once I get to know them, I have a better idea what books they might like to read. I know what to look for when I put in my next order." Afraid that she might be boring him, she changed the subject.

"By the way, let me tell you a little about this book. Since your nephew plays soccer, he really should enjoy this book. The main character is a football star. I believe he's in high school, but he might be in junior high. I have to admit I haven't read it in awhile. Anyway, through a freak accident he loses one arm, and his football career is ended. Eventually the soccer coaches, and players, convince him to try soccer where, of course, being one-armed is not a hindrance, and he does fairly well. It's a really good book that boys like. It even has a moral hidden inside," she told him quite enthusiastically.

"Do you read a lot?" he asked, impressed. "Have you read all of these?" he asked, sweeping his arm to encompass the store.

"I do read a lot," she admitted, smiling. "However, I doubt I've read even as much as 1 percent of what's here. Not that I wouldn't like to," she added.

"How did you happen to come upon this book?"

"I have boys who play soccer. I read it to them last year." She saw his eyebrows rise almost imperceptibly. 'No', she thought, 'you don't know much about me at all. And I know next to nothing about you. Hopefully it'll stay that way.'

Katryn glanced around the store and saw two more customers at the register. She excused herself again and went to wait on them. One purchased a book, the other wanted suggestions on games for her grandchildren. Katryn took some time helping Mrs. Shoemaker. They decided on _Candy Land_ for the six year old and _Sorry_ for the eight year old.

"What about that game for my 16 yr. old granddaughter? She's pretty mature for her age, and quite smart," Mrs. Shoemaker asked, pointing to a game almost hidden at the bottom of the stack.

"Mrs. Shoemaker, I honestly don't think that would be too good. I played that once, and it's pretty suggestive. It was even embarrassing to some of the adults who played."

"Oh, thank you for warning me. I wouldn't want her mother upset with me, you know. So, you must have at least one suggestion, then, don't you Katryn?" Katryn chuckled.

"I do. Especially if she likes thinking games. Balderdash is a lot of fun, even though it takes a little brain power. I think she and her friends will really enjoy it." Mrs. Shoemaker took the three games Katryn had suggested, thanking her again for her help when she left the store. Paul had watched Katryn.

"I gather you like games, too," he asked, when they were alone, again.

"I do. I played a lot of them growing up. I have five brothers and sisters, and we all love games. I also play a lot when I get together with friends. And, of course, my boys and I play."

"How old are all these boys you have?" Paul asked light heartedly.

"Eight," she answered simply, smiling.

Expecting more than one age, after all she had said BOYS, he was surprised when she stopped there. He wondered if she had misunderstood his question. A thought occurred to him. Incredulous, he had to ask.

"You don't mean to say you have eight boys, do you?"

"No," she smiled. "I have two boys. Twins. They're eight years old."

"Phew. For a minute there, I was worried. I thought you had eight boys. That would be a lot for any man to win over in order to date you!" Changing gears as quickly as she could, her face perceptibly redder, Katryn changed the subject.

"Was there anything else I can help you with? For your nephew, I mean," she pointed at the book he carried.

"Not for my nephew, but for me. How about lunch?"

"I'm afraid I can't right now."

"What time does Dottie come in?" he asked, remembering what she had said earlier. Katryn wished now that she had not told him.

"She's usually here by 12:30. But surely your lunch hour will be up by then," she offered lamely.

"As a matter of fact, I usually dine here at noon. At least on Tuesday's." Seeing the disbelief in her eyes, he added, "I have a standing 12:00 lunch time on Tuesdays. Clinkerdagger's holds my table for me.

"It's almost 12, now," she pointed out, a large part of her hoping he would leave, while a small part of her hoped he might stay.

"True. I'll just have them hold it 'till 12:30. May I use your phone?"

"I can't leave here until at least 12:30, Paul. Your lunch hour will be pretty much shot."

"I'll stay at work a little later this evening, then, Katryn," he said with a wry smile. "I don't punch a clock, and my time's my own. There's been a time or two I've gotten no lunch at all, so I assure you no-one will care. That is, of course, unless YOU care. Are you trying to get out of having lunch with me?" he asked lightly. He watched her closely while she answered, and noticed she did not look at him.

"Well, no... not exactly. It's just ... just that I didn't want to ... I was afraid you'd run out of time ..."

"I just want to find out a little more about the team," he offered, hoping to distract her. "Do you practice other days than Monday, for instance?" Relaxing just a little, and sounding too relieved to suit him, she answered.

"Oh, I guess I didn't explain much about the team after all. Well, if you still want me to have lunch with you..."

"I do."

"I'll come over to Clinkerdagger's when Dottie arrives." 'Please make him go!' she begged the fates.

"All right, it's a deal. But first I'd better pay for this, don't you think?" He laid the book on the counter. Katryn rang up the book and bagged it for him. Paul took the change she handed him, reminded her he would be waiting at the restaurant, and then finally left.

Katryn was glad that, at the moment, there were no other customers in the store. Dealing with Paul had been harder than she would have ever imagined it could be. While part of her was relieved to know he was not interested in her, was only interested in the team, that other traitorous part of her was very disappointed. She wondered how she would manage to keep that part of herself locked up during lunch, let alone the entire 8 week volley ball season!

Reminding herself one last time that he merely wanted to discuss volleyball, she forced herself to turn back to her last week's sales totals. She never again had a moment to herself. It seemed everyone wanted a book, and rushed in during their lunch hour to get it. There had been only one she did not have in stock, luckily, since it took a bit of time to look up and then write down all the information necessary to order a book. Katryn had three customers in line when Dottie rushed in.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Katryn. I missed the bus and had to wait for the next one. Wouldn't you know it'd be busy today," she said rushing past the checkout counter on her way to the storeroom.

Locking up her coat and purse, and looking slightly askance, Dottie hurried back to the front of the store. She helped someone find the book he wanted and came back to the register while Katryn handed change to the last of her three customers. The gentleman Dottie helped was the last in the store, and in just a few minutes his purchase was taken care of, too.

"Are you famished? Were you afraid I'd forgotten to come?" Dottie asked nervously.

"No, not at all. In fact, I hadn't even noticed the time." Glancing at her watch, Katryn groaned. "It's after 1:00." Then, catching herself, she told Dottie, "I guess I am hungry. Can you hold the fort for a little while?"

"Of course. You go take an extra-long lunch and I'll be fine."

"I'll be at Clinkerdagger's." Katryn said over her shoulder. She looked up and saw Paul standing just outside the door. Realizing she had kept him too long already, she decided against going to the back room to freshen up.

She grabbed her blazer, and just hoped she didn't look too wrinkled. Slipping her blazer on, she said goodbye to Dottie, who was staring at the tall, good-looking gentleman waiting for Katryn.

CHAPTER 4

Paul waited until she got out of the door before he offered her his arm. She took the proffered arm, enjoying the feel of the thick tweed jacket he wore, and started to apologize.

"I'm really sorry, Paul. Dottie was a little late."

"A little late?" he mocked, lifting his right eyebrow.

"Well, probably a lot late. But it's never mattered before whether she came at 12:30 or 1:00. Only that she be here around lunch time. It just so happens that the bus usually gets her here at 12:20 on the dot. I am sorry about your lunch. Did you eat anyway?" 'I hope.' she added quickly to herself.

"No. I thought perhaps something had come up, so I've just been waiting. They're holding the table for us. Have been for..." he looked at this watch, "about an hour now."

"An hour? How long were you waiting by the door?"

"About an hour. I decided I'd better not give you a chance to get lost," he teased. She had no answer for that. Had she had the chance, had she thought about it, she just might have run out.

Sure enough, Clinkerdagger's was still holding a table for Paul. He pulled out Katryn's chair and seated her before settling in the chair across from her. Katryn quickly gave herself a pep talk.

'Remember, we're here to discuss volleyball. He's Julie's boyfriend. Oh no, how will I explain this to Julie?' she worried. She knew she would have to phrase her explanation just right, or Julie would be very upset. 'Think volleyball.' she admonished herself again when the waitress handed them menus. 'Worry about Julie later.'

"Do you like fish?" Paul asked her. She nodded. "They have fantastic fish here. Have you ever tried their catfish?" When Katryn admitted she had not, Paul talked her into trying some.

The waitress came back and took their orders, and soon Katryn had a glass of ice tea and a small spinach salad in front of her. When the salads were finished, Paul started to question Katryn about the volleyball team. Though it was obvious to him that Katryn was a little uneasy about being at lunch with him, he found she softened, a little, when discussing the team.

"By the way, I overheard you saying something about working in pairs. What does that mean?" he asked. Katryn had suspected Paul had overheard that much of the conversation she had had with Tom and Ken. She hoped he had not heard much more.

"Our team practices in pairs. For instance, Tom and Anne are a pair. Anne plays to Tom's right so she can do most of her setting to him. Tom, then, gets used to how Anne sets. Anne practices setting where Tom wants so Tom, hopefully, gets better spikes that way."

"I'm replacing someone who quit, I take it?"

"He didn't exactly quit, but yes, you're replacing him," Katryn admitted. "He didn't fit in at all and I finally had to ask him to leave," she explained, a little embarrassed.

"Not a very pleasant chore, I suspect."

"No." Katryn's face mirrored the distasteful memory. "It was surprising to all of us, how angry he became. The entire time he was on our team, he had seemed to hate us all - especially me. I thought he'd be glad to be off the hook, free to find another team. Instead he became ... unpleasant." Paul guessed that was an understatement by what he saw in her eyes. He decided he would have to find out more about that later.

"Who was this guy paired with?" he asked, changing the subject slightly. Katryn looked down at her empty salad plate.

"Me."

"So does this mean I'm to be paired with you, then?" he asked, careful not to show how much that thought pleased him.

"Yes." She said it with no feeling. She wished she could lie. First John, who didn't work out. Now Paul, who she hoped wouldn't work out. She wondered, idly, which man would end up having been the harder pill to swallow. Katryn looked up to see Paul studying her.

"Am I really so awful?" he finally asked her. She started to smile, in spite of herself.

"No. I'm sorry. I guess I was still thinking about the guy who left. In fact, you're actually pretty good. You'll fit in well."

"Thanks. I'll try not to tell anyone you said that," he teased.

"Good. I DO have a reputation, you know! Really, though, I do think you'll fit in well. You block and spike well, already. Maybe your timing's just a bit off on your spiking," she admitted, "but you'll get that pretty quick. Tom can help you there. Anne can help you on setting, if you like. She's the best setter we have. And you did really well on the Turkey drill, so I don't think your bumping needs much work. Once you get used to how we set up as a team, and who covers what, you'll do fine. This is one of the nicest teams I've ever been on, so I know you'll like it."

"Everyone seems nice. Anne offered to help me with my setting, by the way, and Ken said he and Tom would work with me on my spiking, too. They mentioned that you usually work with the new people on bumping skills and positioning," he told her, immediately catching the drift of why she said he needed no help with his bumping. He wondered, though, why it seemed so important to her to make that point. "We stayed and talked last night 'til past midnight. Sorry you had to go so early," he added when she didn't say anything.

"My sitter doesn't like to be up too late on a school night," Katryn explained. The waitress cleared away the salad plates and returned with their lunches. They said relatively little while they ate, both finding they were quite hungry after the long wait.

Katryn turned down Paul's offer of dessert. Over coffee she explained more about their team and some of their strategy. She ended with, "Paul, the most important thing about this team is that we get along well and enjoy playing together. Winning comes second. That's why I wanted to see how you'd do on a losing team. You passed, by the way, with flying colors."

"Yours is an easy team to get along with," he answered.

"Maybe," she had to smile. "However, I have it from a reliable source that the coach is someone to be reckoned with. Spits nails. Runs drills for hours. Heartless."

"And those are her good points," Paul added. Katryn laughed out loud.

"I'll have to remember that one."

"That's the first time I've seen you laugh. Are you usually so serious."

"Never. There are people who believe I haven't one serious bone in my whole body," she admitted.

"Then I hope to see more of this side of you." Paul was immediately sorry he said it. The laughter drained out of her eyes even while she pretended to smile.

"Paul, it's really important that you understand our team," she interjected. "We have all different skill levels, I'm sure you noticed. John, the player who left, was so wrapped up in winning that he couldn't get along with us. He wanted anyone he felt was inferior, to be removed. This team got together, stays together, because we all get along." Remembering Anne's attitude the night before, she quickly amended, "At least we usually all get along. While we all enjoy winning, practice hard to get better, try our best, still we don't forget the reason we're together. This team likes each other," she told him

She went on to explain that, because no-one had an elevated opinion of himself, everyone helped the team to look good. Everyone encouraged each other to do better, forget the mistakes, and play better next time.

"I guess what I'm getting at, Paul, is that winning isn't everything to us. In fact, it's not anywhere near as important as just enjoying the sport. None of us is competing with anyone else on the team. All of us compete against other teams. Does that make sense?" she knew she had rambled.

"It does. And I wouldn't want you to replace anyone. Your team works too well together," he commended her. "That's your doing you know," he added. "Not many teams get along that well together." Her face reddened and she shyly thanked him. She really was glad he would be part of the team.

"I'd better get back to work," Katryn decided. "Dottie's probably running herself ragged." Paul walked her back to the store.

"See you at practice Thursday." he promised before he left.

Dottie was near the counter when Paul walked Katryn to the door. After he left, Dottie asked who the good looking fellow was.

"A teammate. The new guy on our volleyball team. He just had a few questions about the team," Katryn tried to explain him away.

Dottie wondered if Katryn were really so blind that she believed the gentleman was only interested in volleyball. Dottie had seen the way he had been looking at her boss. She said nothing, though.

"Were you very busy?" Katryn asked.

"Not a soul. Your usual quiet Tuesday. Do you want me to stay today?"

"I guess not. It does seem to have quieted down. Thanks, anyway."

After Dottie left, the store remained quiet. Katryn was able to finish all the paperwork for last week. She also completed the paper work for the book that had not been in stock, and was finished right at closing time. She talked to the security guard when he walked her to her car, pleased that he, again, happened to be around when she left.

She headed home, dreading the call she was going to have to make to Julie. She would have to admit she had been at lunch with Paul, while assuring her best friend it had been nothing.

Of course, it had been nothing. They discussed volleyball. Paul had made no passes, and luckily had not asked her out again. If only her heart could go into cold storage for awhile, the time with Paul would go so much easier. 'After all', she tried to convince herself, 'he'll leave at the end of volleyball, when Julie is through with him.'

The boys never noticed their mother seemed a bit preoccupied during supper. After they ate, they went to watch television, arguing only a little about which show they would see.

Katryn went to her bedroom, picked up the phone and dialed Julie's number. Chagrined, she noted the line was NOT busy. Katryn told Julie about Paul dropping in at work.

"How'd Paul know where you work?" Julie asked, her voice strained.

"Now that you mention it, I hadn't thought about that. I don't really know! I know I didn't tell him. Oh, I'll bet someone mentioned it last night. He said they stayed 'til after midnight at Denny's"

"Did he say if Anne stayed?" Julie wanted to know.

"He didn't say who stayed. He did say Anne offered to help him with his sets, and that Ken would help him with his spiking."

"Do you think Anne likes him?"

"He is nice, Julie. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Anne noticed that, too. But remember, it's YOU he talked to in the gym."

"True," Julie answered, slightly mollified. "But it's you he asked to lunch."

"Julie, I told you, he wanted a book for his nephew, and he says he eats there every Tuesday. We talked about volleyball. How we pair people up, why we play the formation we do. Things like that. Only volleyball, Julie."

"Did he invite you for next Tuesday?"

"No," she was relieved to say. Julie sighed deeply.

"Katryn, be honest with me. Do you like Paul?"

Katryn, knowing the question was coming, had prepared for it. She would not put their friendship on the line for a man. Besides, what good would it do if she told Julie the truth? It would just make Julie upset, too. There was absolutely no reason for both of them to be unhappy, so Katryn said the only thing a good friend could say.

"Julie, he's a nice guy, and he plays volleyball well. But it's YOU he spent time with in the gym. He talked to YOU most of the time at Denny's. You do like him, don't you?" she redirected the subject.

"I really do. It'd be just awful, though, if you liked him, too!"

"I appreciate that, Julie. But you like him, and he seems to like you. He was sent by your friend, Dave. And besides, you might have already been dating him if you'd let Dave set you up last year. He's all yours, Julie. I promise."

"No hard feelings?"

"We've never let a guy interfere with our friendship before, Julie. I'm not about to let one now."

"Thanks, Katryn. Is he coming to practice Thursday?"

"He is. By the way, if you want, I'll go by myself. It's my turn to drive, but you know I can't stay late."

"Would you mind?"

"No, I don't mind. That way you can stay until after Anne leaves."

"And I just might, you know. Even if it's after midnight," she said with a chuckle.

"I better go see what the boys are up to, Julie. See you Thursday." Trying to forget the subject of the phone call, Katryn headed out to the living room to read to her sons.

She finished the Giving Tree and there were tears in her eyes. When Ryan asked why she was crying, she told him it was because the tree had given everything it had to its friend.

"The tree was a very good friend, wasn't it?" Timmy asked her. She nodded. "Sometimes it hurts to be a friend, doesn't it?" he asked, too wise for his age.

"Sometimes it does," she agreed. After Katryn got the boys in bed, she went to her room and cried. She cried because she knew her boys always hoped a new man on the team might be the right one for her, the father they did not have. She cried because the giving tree gave too much. And she cried because sometimes it truly did hurt to be a friend.

'Get it out of your system now!' she told herself. 'Grieve if you must for a man you don't even know, and then tomorrow it's over.' And though she knew it really did not make any sense that she should feel such a deep sense of loss for a man she did not even know, still she cried for quite some time before she was able to fall asleep.

Wednesday went well for Katryn. The store was very busy. So busy, in fact, Dottie stayed till closing. Other than an occasional second glance whenever a rather tall man walked by, Katryn had little time to think of Paul.

Wednesday evening was Cub Scout night, and Katryn helped out as assistant den leader. They returned home after an hour and a half of games, songs and crafts, and she and the boys fell right to sleep, exhausted.

Thursday again went well at work. Dottie stayed until closing, and Katryn was beginning to wonder is she should hire Dottie for full-time help.

When she got home, Katryn was so preoccupied with the question of increasing Dottie's hours that she forgot it was Thursday. It was not until a knock at the front door proved to be Audrey, her babysitter that Katryn remembered what day it was. She rushed to change into her volleyball clothes, and hurriedly kissed the boys on her way out, promising Audrey she'd not be late.

She was extra glad she and Julie were taking their own cars.

Katryn raced to practice. She was 15 minutes late, and when she went into the gym she saw she was the last to arrive. The net was up, her team was in a circle practicing sets, and the team they practiced against on Thursdays, was there, too.

"You're late," Tom greeted her after she made her way to the far side of the gym. "That's two extra laps, you know."

"Add them to my tab, will ya?" Katryn requested, joining the circle to practice her sets. After awhile she paired everyone up for the bumping drill. She put Julie with Paul, since she now knew he bumped well enough it would not matter. In fact, she mused, maybe Paul could teach Julie how to bump better.

They skipped the turkey drill and instead the teams each lined up against opposite ends of the court and practiced serving to each other. They switched after that, and set up two lines for the spiking drill. Katryn had her teammates take turns trying to block the spikes, along with hitting and setting. When there was just an hour left, the two teams split up to play against each other.

Katryn and Paul sat out first, and Katryn pointed out positioning and more of the strategy her team used. Paul asked if they had ever tried using two setters instead of pairs, and Katryn admitted she had played that system years ago, but had not recently considered changing the EVER READYs to it.

The team, she explained, had just finally moved to the upper-middle league. She had not even thought about it when they were in the lower leagues. They only had a short time until league play started, though, and she unsure if they would have enough time for the team to get used to a new set up. She told Paul she might try it Monday, and then she rotated into the game when Mary rotated out.

Paul and Mary talked a little, but mainly they watched the game. Paul was able to see better, with a six-man team, how they worked together. He was also able to watch Katryn with no-one noticing. And he found himself watching her quite a bit. While he may have been able to convince anyone who asked, that he was watching to see where she played to cover for dinks or spikes, and how she bumped or hit, in all honesty he knew that was not the reason he was watching her at all.

On the court, Katryn was relaxed and natural. She played well, though somewhat seriously, and obviously enjoyed the game. She always encouraged her teammates, and even when attempting to correct them, managed to make it positive. Her only fault was that she was perhaps a little too hard on herself. Still, she seemed to be having fun. While he watched her, Paul wondered why she was not that way with him. He remembered how she had laughed at lunch, happy until he mentioned seeing her again.

"Paul, it's your turn to rotate in," Mary intruded on his thoughts.

Katryn would be fine playing volleyball with Paul so near, or so she thought. After all, she told herself, she had no time to think of him while playing. And so it went, for awhile.

Until the time when Katryn moved up to get a bump, and Paul, in front of her, backed up to get the ball. Instinctively her hands reached to his back to push lightly and prevent him backing into her. The spark from that one touch rippled through her entire body. Paul appeared not to have even noticed and he quickly got back into position for the next play. That seemed totally unfair, she thought, realizing how much she had noticed it.

A couple of times they nearly collided when Katryn, as setter, went for the second hit. Paul, not used to that yet, occasionally forgot to back off and let her take the hit. They collided once when neither of them remembered to call for the third hit. All in all, it was no worse than what would be expected of any new player trying to learn how to fit in with a new team. Because it was Paul, though, Katryn noticed whenever they touched, or even had a near miss. It was obviously going to be awhile before she could totally ignore him.

In spite of the problems Katryn had with being too near to him, Paul played exceptionally well and seemed to fit in with the team almost perfectly. When she and Paul rotated out, Katryn would point out where Paul should play the different positions.

"Watch Tom," she said more than once. "He's been with the team the longest, and he knows where to be for blocking hits and where to cover for dinks." Another time she told Paul to watch how Tom played the hitter position. "As soon as Anne calls for the second hit, you'll see him get back into position to spike." While Katryn remarked favorably on every other player from time to time, Paul heard, mainly, all the remarks about Tom.

"Tell me Katryn, has Tom ever made a mistake?" Paul was compelled to comment after another of her 'watch Tom' comments.

Brought up short, Katryn turned to look at Paul. She was staring at him when Mary came over and reminded her to rotate into the game. It took Katryn a minute to get her thoughts back on the game. She hadn't meant to irritate Paul, but obviously she had. She had merely wanted to keep the conversation on volleyball. She found herself, in fact, feeling that she should defend Tom.

Katryn's serve hit the net, and she blew another easy hit before Tom quietly asked if something were wrong. If you only knew, Katryn thought, and then she forced herself to forget Paul's remarks and play volleyball.

Paul and Katryn collided, lightly, only one more time before the game ended. Katryn's team had won four of the five games against the other team, and her teammates were elated. Though not saying much in front of the other team, she saw, anyway, the winks and nods that passed between them. After putting the net away, Katryn walked out with Julie.

"Did Paul ask you out, yet?" Katryn asked.

"No," Julie answered a little sharply. "He hasn't asked you out, has he?"

"No!" Katryn reassured her friend. "I told you, he's not interested in me."

"Obviously he's not interested in me, either." Julie sounded defeated.

"Give him time, Julie. After all, he knew he'd see you today. Maybe he's just a little shy. Besides, if he was hurt by his last girlfriend, he might want to wait until he's more sure of whether you like him or not."

"I suppose that could be true," Julie agreed. "Guess I'll have to wait and see. We'd better hurry to Denny's, though. I don't want him there alone with Anne."

When they got to Denny's, Paul was sitting beside Tom, and Julie was able to sit next to Paul. Katryn breathed a sigh of relief. Even before they had all sat down, the team was remarking on their wins. While the rest of her team was overjoyed to have beaten the other team, Katryn gave her thanks because she was sitting between Tom and Ken, not next to Paul.

Julie explained to Paul, with much assistance from the others, that the team they practiced against was from a higher league, and that they considered themselves much better than the EVER READYs. It was, therefore, exceedingly sweet when the other team lost.

"In fact," offered Tom, "we enjoy beating them more than any team in our league."

"Speaking of which," Katryn remembered, "Jim said his team were knocked down a league. Since we moved up a league, that means we'll be playing them this season!" Katryn told them.

"There's one sure win," Ken enthused, with most of the team echoing his sentiments.

"I hope so. I wouldn't get too confident yet, though. Remember, two of his better players weren't there tonight." Tom brought them back to the ground.

"By the way," Katryn glanced at Paul and nodded before continuing, "I'm thinking we should change our line-up. Instead of pairs, we'd use two setters, like Jim's team does. That gives us four hitters, and blockers, of course, and uses the same two setters throughout the game."

The next half hour went quickly with Katryn showing them, using sugar packets in place of players, how it would work. Only Julie seemed less than enthused, though she said nothing.

When Katryn got up to leave, Tom offered to walk her to her car.

"What do you think, Tom?" she asked when they walked out together. "Think we can change strategy this late in the game? Two practices hardly seem like much time."

"I think it'll work. Most of us have the basic skills down. Who do you plan to use for the setters, though?" Tom wondered.

"Well, to be honest, Mary and I usually. Though Anne's our best setter, she's also tall enough to block and spike. Mary sets fair, and I'll do ok."

"What about Julie?" Julie was a bone of contention with some of the team, Katryn knew. While everyone liked Julie, they all knew her skills were not up to the rest of the team, and she held them back some. But Julie was a good friend, and she made most of the practices, so she played as often as everyone else.

Katryn knew she could be totally honest with Tom. She had known him for five years, he played volleyball and softball with her, and he considered Julie a friend, too.

"I figured I'd use her for a hitter," Katryn admitted. "There are always three women, so whoever the other two women are, they'll be our setters. It's the only choice I feel I have. She can't be a setter." They both knew John was right when he said about fifty percent of Julie's sets were illegal, and Katryn knew the ref would definitely call them that way now that the team was in a higher league. Tom agreed.

When she got to her car, Tom mentioned how well Paul played.

"I hope, if the time ever comes that you don't want me on the team, that you're able to tell me."

"Tom, are you kidding? It wouldn't even feel like a team if you weren't there. And you're the top player to boot!" Katryn reminded him. Then, a little worried, she asked, "You're not thinking of quitting, are you?" She remembered a rather bleak season when he'd had to back out. After he assured her he wasn't leaving the team, she continued.

"Tom, if you quit, for whatever reason, I'd quit, too. I only play for the fun, to be doing something I really enjoy with people I truly care about. I can't even imagine this team without you on it." Katryn reached up and hugged him. Slowly he hugged her back.

"I'm not quitting," he promised. Katryn, relieved, drove home without thinking any further of Tom's remarks. Neither Tom, nor Paul who had witnessed everything through the restaurant windows again, could forget so easily.

CHAPTER 5

Friday was always one of Katryn's busiest days at work. It usually was even busier than Saturday. This Friday proved to be no exception. Dottie came in at lunch and stayed the day. Other than a thought, periodically, about the change in strategy, Katryn had little time to think about the team, or Paul.

She did, occasionally, catch herself looking up, half expecting to see him in the doorway, though. She kept telling herself she was glad he did not show, in fact used his non-appearance as proof he was not interested. There was that small part of her, however, that was a little let down.

Saturday was another busy day with Dottie staying until closing. Katryn dropped Dottie off on her way home. She picked up Happy Meals for the boys and a fish sandwich for herself.

After a rushed supper, Katryn changed into her roller skating clothes. They consisted of a matching blue sweatshirt and sweatpants that could take the occasional landings she knew she would experience. She had decided from the first time out, there was no sense in trying to dress nice for skating. She spent too much time falling down to dress up!

Katryn drove up to Roller Valley hoping Julie would not be there. After all, if Paul actually called and asked Julie out, even that tiny persistent part inside her would quit hoping. Katryn and the boys had their skates on and were headed towards the skating floor when they heard Julie's voice.

"Hold on you three; give me a minute to get my skates on." Katryn sent the boys out to skate, and she went to sit on the bench beside Julie.

"Paul didn't call," Katryn guessed.

"No. But I'm not giving up," Julie told her. "Don't get mad that I'm asking, but he didn't call you, did he?"

"No, he sure didn't. He wouldn't have had any reason to."

"Katryn, if he did ask..."

"I'd tell him no. You ought to know that."

"I know. I'm sorry I asked," Julie apologized.

They spent the rest of the evening alternating between resting and roller skating. Timmy and Ryan asked them for every couples skate, and they had some fun with the 'Hokey Pokey'.

Katryn was relieved when Julie finally talked herself out about Paul, and they were able to spend time teasing the boys about who were the better skaters. Of course, the fact that the boys had not fallen nearly as often as the women, did not count at all, they told Timmy and Ryan.

By the time they headed home, they were all worn out, but in good spirits. The boys had always enjoyed being around Julie. She liked to spend time with them, too, treating them more like her friends than just her friend's kids.

Before they went to bed, Katryn's sons told her all about the day they had spent with Audrey. She had a picnic with them in the living room. They quickly assured their mother that they had put a plastic table cloth down to protect the carpet, then went on to tell her they had played games, watched movies and had a great time.

Katryn listened, and found she was just a little jealous of Audrey. This was one of the few times that having a wonderful sitter was a two-edged sword. She was really grateful that Audrey was so good with her boys. She could never have found a more caring, or trustworthy sitter. But she sometimes envied the fun her boys had with Audrey. And during the school year, it often seemed Audrey spent more time with Timmy and Ryan than she did, since Sundays were their only full day together.

When school got out for the summer, though, Katryn took Mondays off. Then she and the boys had two days off together. And she had to admit she also took off part of her Saturday's during soccer season. So far she had never had to miss a game, thanks to Dottie's totally flexible schedule. She had to admit to herself, then that the one drawback to owning her own business, working six days a week, was not really so bad, after all.

Katryn and her sons spent a quiet Sunday at home. The boys had pedal cars in the basement, and she had made 'garages' out of refrigerator boxes she had acquired. They drove around in their cars for hours. They also had their toys and rocking horses in the one carpeted room in the basement, and played contently with them. When Katryn realized she had only seen them sporadically all day, she smiled to herself, remembering how jealous she had been of Audrey the night before. Today her boys were too busy for her anyway. And she usually did not mind the time alone.

Katryn relaxed in the living room with a good book, and tried to enjoy a fairly perfect day. The problem was Paul. The more she tried to forget him, the more he seemed to be becoming an addiction. No matter what she tried to read, her mind would wander back to him. She turned on the TV, and still she couldn't concentrate for more than a few minutes. No matter what she did, she could not get him out of her mind.

Lectures were no help. She could tell herself a million times she had to forget him, but it did not work. Through supper, the boys' book and her own soak in the tub, she was preoccupied with Paul. When she finally was in bed, ready for sleep, she wondered exactly how long she could continue this way.

Nor was her sleep restful. When she awoke, restless and surly in the morning, she remembered bits and pieces of dreams she had been having about him. She remembered how she felt when he touched her all over, in one dream. Following quickly on the heels of that dream, though, were memories of a much less pleasant dream.

She remembered that in it she and Julie were enemies because of Paul. Then Paul left and Katryn was completely alone. She experienced, for a moment, that awful, empty, cold, sensation of being totally friendless, totally alone - deserted. Reminding herself that she could well indeed end up being just that friendless if Julie believed she was after Paul, she vowed again she would not let him come between them. No man was worth that price.

She showered quickly to wash away all the bits and pieces of her dreams. She steeled herself against Paul, knowing full well that she really could lock away those feelings. She had done it before, over the years, and she could do it again. She went to work with her resolve intact, and was glad Monday was busier than usual.

She walked into the gym Monday evening, and set up the net with Tom. Julie showed up next and motioned for Katryn to join her by the water fountain. She left Tom with a volleyball and joined Julie.

"Katryn, are you sure you're not interested in Paul?" Julie asked before Katryn even said hi.

"I told you he's all yours," Katryn answered warily. "Why? What's up?"

"I've just been thinking about Thursday, is all. First you paired yourself with him. Second, you seemed to run into each other a lot. And then he left Denny's shortly after you did," Julie accused.

"Julie, Paul took John's place. It's only sensible I work with him rather than change two pairs around. Besides, if we change to two setters, we won't have pairs anyway."

"Good. But you two did run into each other a lot."

"Not near as much as John and I did. Or even Ed, when he first joined. Paul just has to get used to my taking the second hit. And I'm sorry if he left right after I did, but Julie, I had nothing to do with that, I promise."

"Did he call you yesterday?" Julie persisted.

"No. Nor has he been back to the store. He only wanted to find out about volleyball. I promise, he's all yours."

"Ok," Julie sighed and she started towards the gym.

"This isn't why you didn't call last night, is it?" Katryn asked, becoming aware suddenly that she had not heard from her friend, and Julie had said Saturday night at skating that she would let Katryn know if Paul called or not. Julie looked at Katryn for a minute before admitting it was.

"It's just that he's everything I want in a guy. I thought maybe you WERE interested and were seeing him behind my back."

"Oh, Julie, I'd never try to take a guy from you, you know that. Friends don't treat each other that way. You know your friendship is too important to me to lose over a guy. I'd never see Paul behind your back; I'd never do that to you," Katryn promised.

"I guess I knew that. I just needed to hear it from you," Julie admitted with another deep sigh. Katryn shivered a little, recalling the dream she had had about being alone. There was no longer any doubt in her mind that she had made the right decision about Paul.

Practice was going better than she could have hoped. The team picked up on two setters almost immediately. Julie was actually quite content to be a hitter, since she knew she would not do well setting. She, too, was well aware that a lot of her sets were illegal. Katryn reminded the men to set cross court sometimes, or even spike the second hit to change rhythm occasionally

"If the other team knows we always use three hits to bump, set, and spike, they'll be ready to block every spike," she explained. "You have to remember, though, that you have to call for the ball if you're going to take the second hit from the setter."

The games were going fairly well. Katryn's only concern was Paul. While he bumped into Julie twice, and even knocked Anne over once, still it made Katryn uneasy when they had another near miss. She knew Julie was watching her closely.

Towards the end of practice, the back row bumped the ball up to between Katryn and Paul. Katryn, concentrating on getting a good set, moved over to the ball as Paul jumped up for the spike, knocking her off her feet. She came down solidly on her right hip. Her nerves on edge anyway, she over-reacted. She slowly got to her feet, and began to lay into Paul.

"Darn it, you're going to have to try a little harder to remember that I take the second hit. I'm really getting tired of being run over..." Paul stood silent, surprised at her vehemence. Tom came to his rescue.

"Hold on, Katryn. Didn't you tell us to take the second hit if we had a good shot?"

"Yes. I DO want you to change the pace from time to time," she argued, now turning on Tom. "But you need to let the setter know. All he had to do was call for it. If he had yelled 'mine', I'd have gotten out of the way."

"He did call for it," Tom said calmly. "But you didn't."

"He did," Julie agreed, also surprised at how angry Katryn had gotten.

Stunned, and feeling about one inch tall, Katryn took a moment before turning back to Paul. Forcing herself to look him in the eye, she apologized.

"I'm sorry. I honestly didn't hear you call. Besides, there's no excuse for my getting upset, anyway. It's just a game, and I wasn't hurt."

"Apology accepted," Paul said, his right eyebrow slightly raised. "Are you sure you're ok? You landed pretty hard."

"I'm fine. Sorry I came unglued." She got back into position and finished the practice favoring her right leg slightly. She knew there would be a nice sized bruise in the morning, but she would not have owned up to anyone how much it hurt. She didn't fool Paul, or Tom, though. They were both aware it must hurt a lot if Katryn was favoring her leg even a little.

After practice they again met at Denny's. Katryn made sure she sat nowhere near Paul. She took time to congratulate her team on how quickly they had made the change-over to two setters, and reminded them there would be a real trial by fire on Thursday. Then she put on her best smile and kept the team amused with jokes and puns. It worked some. She did not have time to think about Paul.

Katryn got up to leave earlier than usual, and when Tom offered to walk her to her car, she declined.

"Oh, you stay a while. You don't have to get up that early. If I hadn't promised my sitter I'd be back early tonight, I'd stay myself. See you all Thursday." And she headed out before Tom could answer. Tom followed her to the door, however. He watched until she got in her car and drove away before he went back to the table. Seeing the questioning look on Paul's face, Tom decided they would have to talk soon.

Audrey was surprised to see Katryn back so early, but she was glad to be going home.

"I have a test in Algebra tomorrow. The boys are asleep already, but I'll study better at my house."

Katryn showered and went to bed. If she forgot, even for a minute, how stupid she had acted at practice, it only took rolling onto her right side to remind her.

Though she did not wake up rested Tuesday morning, she also had no recollection of any disturbing dreams. She thanked the fates for being so kind, and made her way downstairs.

She was able to get all her paperwork done before Dottie showed up at 12:20. She was just about out the door, headed for lunch, when Paul stopped her.

"Join me for lunch?" he asked.

"I'd rather not," Katryn answered honestly.

"I'd like to talk to you," he told her and he took her hand, not giving her much of a choice.

"I suppose we should talk," Katryn decided. "And the sooner the better." Paul didn't miss the determination in her voice. She allowed Paul to lead her to Clinkerdagger's, where she ordered Halibut, though she doubted she would be able to eat much of it. When the salads were served, Katryn started to speak. Paul cut her off, though.

"I've a feeling I'm not going to like our little talk much. Could we enjoy our meal, pretend to be friends, and then have our discussion over coffee?" Katryn readily agreed. She knew they needed to talk. She was in no hurry to start, though.

Instead, Paul asked her about herself. Deciding it was a safe subject; Katryn found herself telling him all about her family, and her life, in Pennsylvania.

Paul could tell by the easy way she talked of her past, that she must have had a happy childhood. She told him she was the fourth child, the first girl, in a family already peopled by three raucous, somewhat wild, boys. She grew up in the country on a farm quite a ways from the nearest neighbor.

Because her brothers were the only playmates around, she grew up being quite a Tom-boy. There was only six years separating the first four children. Katryn's brothers always teased her about being the 'runt'.

Though her mother had looked forward to a little girl to dress up and curl her hair, Katryn admitted to Paul that she would have none of it. She played all the sports, especially tackle football, with her three older brothers almost from the time she could walk.

Once her father had told her she had actually been playing football since before she walked. He tried to convince her that her brothers had used her for the football. Horrified, her mother had quickly assured Katryn that that was not true.

Because she was the youngest of the four, and a girl to boot, Katryn explained, she had had to play her hardest to be accepted. She hated being called the RUNT, and when she was ten, she finally won her brothers' respect. Katryn smiled proudly, recounting the story for Paul

There was an old chestnut tree in the back yard, and she and her brothers had all grown up playing in it. There were three levels of tree houses and they continually tried to climb higher and higher in the tree. The top few branches were too thin and weak to support her brothers' weights, so not one of the Curran's had actually made it to the very top.

She had been quite a small child, she told Paul, especially compared to her big-boned, muscular brothers. On her tenth birthday, Katryn was being teased unmercifully by her older brothers. Though they now had a three year old brother and a one year old sister, they persisted in calling Katryn the runt. Katryn had been sure that when she turned ten, hit the double digits as her brothers called it, she would no longer be called 'runt'.

Her mother had made a beautiful cake and had decorated it with pink and blue flowers, green leaves, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRYN in big letters. Her oldest brother, Jim got a hold of the decorating tube, and when she saw the cake, Katryn burst into tears. Jim had scraped off most of her name and had written, in an ugly scrawl, RUNT.

Katryn smiled shyly, a little embarrassed when she admitted she ran out of the house and started up the tree. Her family followed her into the back yard and stood transfixed watching her climb higher and higher into the chestnut tree.

Crying 'I'm NOT a runt, not anymore', she climbed higher and higher still. Her mother pleaded with her father to get her down, knowing full well Katryn was up beyond where anyone could get her. They all just watched. Katryn figured her brother Jim would be the most worried. Everyone, including his dad, knew what he had done. No-one made a sound while she slowly started up the skinnier branches at the top.

Katryn admitted to Paul she had been a little scared when the tree swayed slightly and she heard her mother scream. Still, she knew it was something she just had to do, so she slowly reached up over her head, stretched a tiny bit farther, and finally grasped the top of the tree in her hand. Paul could see the triumph in her face as she re-lived the moment.

The three older boys shouted and congratulated their sister, but she would not move from her precarious perch. Her mother begged, her father demanded, but she would not move.

"Were you scared?" Paul interrupted her story.

"I was a little, but that wasn't why I wouldn't come down." She admitted sheepishly. "I wanted Jim to say ..."

"That you weren't a runt anymore." Paul finished for her, smiling. When Katryn nodded, he asked. "Did he?"

"Oh, yes! I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything more than hearing Jim finally agree I wasn't a runt. Dad made him promise never to call me runt again. He never did. None of them ever did again."

Paul could see how proud she must have been. Her face was flushed, her smile was back, and she held her head high. He could almost see her up in that tree, hanging on for all she was worth; almost hear Jim saying she was not a runt.

"Have you seen your family lately?" he asked, seeing a little sadness creep into her face.

"No. I took the boys back after their father died. I needed to go home and recharge my batteries. All of my family, except Jim, still lives in Pennsylvania. He had flown out here for the funeral, to help me through all the preparations. But I missed him when I was home. It just wasn't the same without him." She paused for a minute before she continued.

"In spite of the fact he'd been the roughest on me growing up, had pushed the hardest, called me runt the most, still, I was closest to him," Katryn told Paul. She continued to reminisce, and she found herself telling Paul about her husband. Don was Jim's best friend. A little chagrined, she admitted to Paul that at first she had been jealous of him. When Jim went to college she was about twelve. He started to spend a lot of time away from home, because he lived in a dorm on campus. When he did come home, he always brought Don.

Jim had met Don in college, they were roommates. Don's parents had died a year earlier in a boating accident, so Don had no family to visit. Jim believed no-one should be without a family, so he offered Don his. Don was always around, then, and Jim was too busy for Katryn. She blamed Don.

She realized when she got older, that it was not Don, but growing up, that took Jim away. Still, she had resented Don for years. After college, Jim moved to a small town about thirty miles away, and Katryn saw even less of him. She saw almost nothing of Don, after that.

Katryn was a senior in high school when Jim got married. Don, of course, was his best man. Katryn had not seen him in a couple years, and when they met at the rehearsal dinner, she saw he was very surprised to see she had grown up.

They started dating after that, and Katryn married Don shortly after her twentieth birthday. Don's company transferred him to Spokane, and they left Pennsylvania after their honeymoon, vowing to visit often.

Three years later, Ryan and Timmy were born. Katryn still had not been able to go back to visit. While her mother had come out to help her with the twins, Katryn and Don had never gotten to see the rest of her family. Don died when the boys were about six months old, Katryn told Paul, so she had raised the boys by herself since then.

"Why did you stay in Spokane?" Paul wondered aloud. "All your family was so far away."

"When I went back after Don died, I thought of staying. But somehow Spokane had gotten under my skin. And even though I love them all, I couldn't stay. Out here I was myself. Back there I felt almost smothered. It was almost as if I'd fought all my life to be independent, but if I moved back I was admitting defeat. No, I had to stay out here and make something of myself."

"Any regrets?"

"Only that my sons have no idea how wonderful their grandparents are. And," she added lightly, "that I can't show them how tall that Chestnut Tree really is!"

Paul felt he could get lost in Katryn's smile. She was so open, so unguarded. Her whole being seemed lit up. He knew it would end soon. Soon they would have to have the talk he would just bet he would rather not hear.

The waitress cleared their lunch trays and asked if they wanted dessert. They declined and she left to get the coffee pot. Katryn looked sheepishly at Paul.

"You know, I've been told a time or two I tend to ramble. I'm sorry if I bored you with my life story."

"I enjoyed every word of it," he told her honestly. "I only wish I could see that tree myself." Her face reddened appreciably as she thanked him. The waitress appeared with their coffee. When their coffee was poured, Katryn waited calmly for Paul to start.

"Would you like to go first?" he asked. When she shook her head, he smiled. "Aren't going to make this easy for me, are you?" She shook her head again, but this time she had to smile.

CHAPTER 6

"Katryn, I'm not sure what I've done wrong, but it must have been a doozey. I realized last night, when you got so angry, that you must be pretty upset with me. I'd like to start over..."

"Paul stop," she said quietly. He did, and he waited patiently for her to compose herself. She had thought it would feel good to at least hear if he cared. She realized, though, that hearing him put into words what she wanted more than anything to hear, would be her undoing. It would be better if she not hear any more. Besides, he had listened to her so intently, had seemed to understand how she had felt about being the runt ... well, it just was not fair to be unkind to him now.

"First of all, you've done nothing wrong, and I definitely don't hate you." In spite of herself, her heart contracted slightly. She continued. "In fact, if circumstances were different, I might start to like you. However, things being what they are, I ..." she faltered for a moment. What could she say? 'Am not attracted to you?' Definitely a lie. 'Can't love you?' It was too late. She stared, unseeing, groping for words that would not come.

"Is it Tom?" Paul Asked. "Are you in love with Tom?" He needed to know if he had read that situation wrong. Surprised, she told him no, Tom was just a good friend. "Someone else?" he asked. She nodded.

"Actually ... it's Julie." Shocked at the implication, he stammered.

"You aren't... I mean you and Julie ..."

"Oh, No," she quickly assured him. "What I meant was, Julie likes you."

"So?" he asked, not understanding what that had to do with their discussion.

"If Julie likes you, I can't," she said, trying to explain.

"I guess I'm a little slow. What exactly do Julie's feelings have to do with us?"

'Us?' she thought. 'There's no 'us'. She tried again. "Julie and I are best friends. We've known each other for over ten years. We decided a long time ago we'd never let a man come between us, and we never have. We never will," she said with finality. "Friends don't do that to each other."

"Just a minute. Why does my liking you have to come between you and Julie?" Actually hearing that he liked her hurt even worse than she had thought it might.

"Because Julie likes you," she answered, trying to shut out the pain.

"But I like you."

"Julie claimed you first."

"Claimed me? Is this a joke? Have I no say? Does it matter to either of you whom I like?" he demanded.

"No," she admitted quietly. "It really doesn't. Friends don't ever date a guy their best friend likes. Julie likes you, so I back out. It's simple, really." Paul stared at her, disbelieving.

"Katryn, do you have any feelings for me?" he finally asked.

"It doesn't matter," she stood her ground, but she could not look at him.

"It damn well matters to me. Look me in the eye and say you really don't care. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't feel something special when you first met me in the gym. I saw it in your eyes, Katryn; you must have seen it mine."

She thought back to that time and remembered the look she had thought was surprise. He had not been surprised at her reaction, then. He had, perhaps, been surprised by his own reaction. Finding that he had been attracted to her only made her hurt more. Still he continued.

"Look me in the eyes, if you can, and tell me how none of that matters because Julie likes me," he reached across the table and lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him.

"Don't you understand, Paul?" she said averting her eyes again. "It can't matter. You're off limits to me."

"Because Julie likes me?" he repeated. She nodded. "So, I'll tell Julie I like you." It seemed such a simple answer.

"If you do that to me, you'll never see me again," she said vehemently, her eyes flashing at him. "I'd lose Julie as my best friend, and I'd never be able to forgive you for that."

"What if I tell her I just don't care for her?"

"I still could never date you," Katryn answered, smiling sadly. "It would really hurt her if I did, and it would ruin our friendship."

"Friendship, HELL. What kind of a friendship says you have to give up someone who cares for you? What kind of a friend would ask that?"

"Paul, if I dated you, Julie and I would probably end up a lot less than best friends. Then, when you head off down the road, I'm left with nothing. No thanks." She remembered the empty feeling her dream had left her with.

"Are you so sure I'll head off down the road, then?" he asked, surprised.

"The odds favor that outcome." She spoke logically, without feeling. "After all, look how many people you date, or are attracted to, in a lifetime. You usually only marry once, maybe twice. The odds are against your being the one I'd end up with."

"So it's smarter to keep the friendship and not get involved with me," he said, following her logic.

"Exactly," she said simply.

"And if I go to Julie and tell her how I feel?"

"I told you. I'll never forgive you. And I'll do my best to see that I never have to see you again." Angry that there seemed no answer, Paul lashed out at her.

"The rest of the team might want to know why you're dumping me. They may want me to stay."

"That would be their choice, of course," she agreed, dispassionately.

"You'd quit?" he asked incredulously, catching her meaning immediately.

"I've quit and started over before, I can do it again." They were both silent a while.

"So what are my options?" Paul asked, defeated.

"Date Julie, fall in love, live happily ever after?" she asked, knowing she had won the battle. With what it had cost her, though, it seemed a rather hollow victory.

"She's not my type. Other options?" he persisted.

"Accept my friendship?" she asked, hoping he would agree.

"I suppose it really boils down to your friendship or nothing," he said, not expecting an answer. "You're not asking much, are you?" She had nothing to say. She knew, well, exactly what she was asking. "You don't really expect me to date Julie, though, do you?" Katryn smiled at him.

"Not if you don't want to, but you are free to. Who knows what might..."

"Friendship or nothing?" he asked, cutting her off. She nodded at him. "Any other rules?" he wondered.

"You can't ever tell Julie we had this lunch, or this talk."

"I understand." After a minute he asked, "Will I be allowed to ask you to lunch with me again?"

"No." She knew she had to be honest with him.

"Not even as friends?" he tried.

"Maybe someday. Not in the near future." Paul walked her back to her store. When they got to the door, he took her hand, and kissed it solemnly.

"Goodbye, Katryn," he told her. Then he left. She walked into the store, waved at Dottie, then headed to the back room and shut the door behind her.

She did it. She got rid of the only man who had appealed to her since she had lost her husband. No other man, to be honest, not even her husband, had ever struck a chord in her like Paul had. It seemed so unfair that she had had to work hard to get rid of him. It left her drained and numb.

Pulling herself together again, she headed back into the store to go to work. The fates must have found favor with her. She stayed busy right up until closing, too busy to think anymore about what she had done.

After they closed the store, Katryn asked Dottie if she would like to work full-time.

"Is it working out ok for you the way we're doing it now?" Dottie asked. "Or do you need me earlier in the mornings."

"Mornings usually aren't that busy," Katryn admitted.

"Then maybe we should keep it the way it is. You know; if it isn't broken, don't fix it?" Dottie offered.

"But surely it must be a pain for you, never knowing if you'll be staying or not. Besides, with full-time, you'd have steadier income," Katryn explained.

"My husband left me fairly well off, Katryn, so the money doesn't matter. And since he's gone now, I'm pretty much alone. It doesn't matter to me whether I work one hour or five. I'm just grateful you give me something to do, something to look forward to every day," Dottie explained. Katryn hugged her.

"I don't know what I'd do without you. You really don't mind not having steady hours?" Katryn had to ask.

"I really don't. It's the only spontaneous part of my life. Now we'd better get going. Those boys will be wondering where you've gotten to."

Katryn dropped Dottie off on her way home. She was thrilled to find Audrey had fixed supper, so she was soon eating a quiet meal with Ryan and Timmy. She was much more relaxed, now that she had had her talk with Paul, and she enjoyed her time with her sons.

"Should we play a game or read a book?" Katryn asked. When the boys began to argue, she compromised. They played a game Ryan chose, and then Timmy picked out a book for her to read.

"I'm glad you're happy again," Timmy told her when she tucked him in to bed. It did not surprise her that he had noticed. She was a bit chagrined, though, that she had not realized how her mood had affected the boys.

"So am I," she told him, ruffling his hair. Though happy wasn't really what she was feeling - relief was. She was glad it was over. Now she just hoped her feelings for Paul would stay buried forever.

Paul had no sooner gotten back from his late lunch with Katryn than his secretary told him a Tom Morgan was on the line. Recognizing the name to be the Tom from the volleyball team, Paul wondered what else could go wrong today. He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and then took the call.

"Tom, what can I do for you?"

"I think it's time we had a talk, Paul. There's something you need to know about our team, about Katryn in particular. Could we get together?" Tom asked.

"Are you free now?" Paul asked, deciding his day was shot anyway. He could stay late tomorrow to catch up on his work.

"I am. Could we meet at Cavanaugh's, in the bar, say in thirty minutes?"

"That should be fine," Paul agreed before they hung up.

It was only about twenty minutes later when Tom joined Paul at a small round table towards the back of the bar. Paul had already gotten halfway through his first drink.

"I'd have ordered you something, but I don't know what you drink," he apologized. The waitress took Tom's order. He nursed a martini while Paul started on his second 7 and 7.

Tom kept his surprise to himself. He could usually spot a problem drinker a mile off, and he would have bet Paul was not one. He hated to think Katryn might have gotten tangled up with an alcoholic. John was problem enough. After some polite small talk, Paul spoke up.

"I'll be honest with you, Tom. I've already had a rather unpleasant bit of news today. I'd appreciate it if you'd get right to the point." Tom wondered, idly if that might explain the drinks.

"Has anyone mentioned to you anything about the guy who left the team last season?"

"Katryn mentioned he'd been a little unpleasant."

"That sounds like her, all right. Unpleasant isn't the half of it, I'm afraid," Tom was not disappointed to see how concerned Paul appeared to be when he told of the two altercations he had witnessed between John and Katryn.

Tom told Paul he had over-heard John yelling at Katryn that he had had about enough talking. That all the times they had talked before had gotten nothing done, and that he, John, had better see some changes fast. That was when Tom had stepped in to find Katryn backed up against the wall. John was poking at her, and Katryn's face was beginning to show a little of the fear she must have been feeling as John shouted louder and louder.

Tom then went on to tell Paul about when he and Katryn had told John he was to leave. When Paul questioned the wisdom of letting Katryn tell John, Tom shot right back at the man.

"Until you've tried to talk Katryn out of something, and failed, you have no idea how stubborn she can be."

Paul apologized. He pictured a ten your old Katryn up a chestnut tree. Then he remembered the argument they had had that afternoon. He had no doubt that when Katryn had told Tom either she would handle it since she was captain, or she would quit being captain, that she had meant every word of it.

"Katryn thinks it's over and done with," Tom jerked Paul out of his reverie. With a sick feeling he listened while Tom continued. "I didn't trust John, so I started walking Katryn to her car after practice. The first night nothing happened. The second night, though, after Katryn drove away, I noticed a car at the end of the block turn it's lights on and slowly approach. When the car was beside me, I saw John. He stopped, rolled the window down and said, 'I wonder if she knows how lucky she is that you're around.' Then he pulled away."

"Did he follow her?" Paul needed to know.

"No. I jumped in my car and rushed to Denny's. He wasn't there, and Katryn was inside. She hadn't seen him, I'm fairly certain. I didn't tell her, though." Paul had quit drinking. When the waitress reappeared, they both ordered coffee.

"Have you seen him since?" Paul asked.

"Yes," Tom answered. Paul only realized he had been holding his breath when he swore and had to gulp for air. Tom continued. "Three more times. The first time was the next week. Same thing. He drove up after she drove off, repeated the same line about how lucky she was, and then he left. The next time was the final tournament game last season. About the middle of November, I guess. I was walking out of the gym for some fresh air and he was starting in. He just smiled and said he wanted to see how the team was doing. I escorted him out and explained I'd better not see him in the gym again. He answered, 'You won't always be there. I can wait.' Then he smiled and left."

Paul felt himself growing angrier and angrier at this man he had replaced. He closed his eyes and swore softly. Then he looked at Tom.

"What do you think? Would he really hurt her?"

"I don't know for sure." Tom looked grimmer than he had earlier. "But if you're asking me if I think he might actually come after Katryn, I'd have to answer I believe it's a strong possibility."

"You still haven't told her?" Paul knew the answer.

"No. I had hoped he'd give up after that. That season ended the middle of November, and this season didn't start until the middle of February. I wagered he only wanted to get back at me for decking him, and that he'd forget, or give it up anyway, by this season."

"He hasn't, has he?"

"Last week he showed up after practice again," Tom admitted. Paul digested that piece of information for a minute or two.

"Are you going to warn her now?"

"I have a friend in the police force," Tom evaded. "I spoke to him about John after the second time he showed up. Seems he's well known by the police. They know of at least two women he's beaten up. They were both too afraid to press charges. He admitted I should be worried. John is dangerous. I asked him about telling Katryn." Paul did not interrupt when Tom took a drink of his coffee. "He admitted that if a person was intent on attacking someone, there's no way short of a 24 hour guard, that you could stop him. He went on to say that, if Katryn already tended to keep her doors locked and didn't travel alone at night, she'd be as safe as if she knew. Telling her might really scare her, and possibly for nothing. He went on to say that most women beaters are cowards at heart, and it may be, with me around, that John won't try anything. But he couldn't honestly say which way was best."

"Damned if you do..." Paul did not bother to finish.

"I'm telling you for a couple reasons, Paul. First, I'd like your input about whether she should be told. Second, I wanted you to know why she can't walk out to her car by herself."

"That first night I came to practice. I left her standing outside..."

"I was in my car across the street," Tom assured him.

"What about walking to her car after work?"

"There's a guard on duty at the flour mill. He's acquainted with Katryn, and it's been O.K'd that he stay near the door she uses and watch for her. A couple of the shop-keepers know, too. The man who has the pipe shop across from her has a picture of John. The police are making extra drive-by's in her neighborhood watching for John's car. I even told the neighbor across the street. His wife is pretty crippled up and they don't go out often. Turns out he's a retired cop, and he's keeping his eyes open."

"You've been busy," Paul commented, impressed by what all Tom had accomplished.

"So, what do you think? Do we tell her?" Tom was relieved to be able to share the burden.

"I guess not. What would we accomplish by scaring her? No, I think you've made the right decision all along."

"Thanks." Tom appreciated the vote of confidence. He knew, too, he'd made the right decision by telling Paul. They spent a little more time in the bar. When they left, Paul had a fair idea what John looked like. He also had a pretty fair idea of just how good a friend Katryn had in Tom. There were not many around like him!

It was Thursday, when she was getting ready for volleyball practice, that the thought crossed Katryn's mind. What exactly had Paul meant when he had said goodbye? She had assumed at the time that he meant goodbye to anything more than friendship. She could not remember, now, though, if he had actually ever said he would accept friendship.

She drove to practice alone. Julie had wanted to be free to stay, again, and had taken her own car. Katryn drove slowly, just a little afraid of what she might find. What if Paul had quit the team? What explanation could she give to the others? Who could she get to replace him on such short notice? The thought of using the Park's Department roster again really scared her.

She pretended she cared because of the team. All the while she knew the real reason she cared. Being around Paul was more dangerous than playing with fire, she was well aware. Already she had been scorched. The thought of never seeing him again hurt even worse, however.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled into the school parking lot and saw Paul getting out of his car. He waited for her, and when she got to his car she admitted to him that she had worried he would not be there.

"Did you really think I'd let you down like that? Let the whole team down?" he asked. Then, more quietly he added, "Were you afraid I wouldn't accept _friendship only_?" He looked into her eyes and saw the answer there. "If it's all you're offering for now, Katryn, I'll get in line behind Tom."

"Tom?" Katryn did not understand. Before she could ask what he meant, though, Ken pulled up beside them and they all made their way into the gym.

The night was a complete success. The new system worked, the EVER READYs won all four games, Paul and Julie talked a lot at Denny's, and Katryn made it through the entire evening without upsetting Julie. Everyone was happy, and looking forward to league play starting tomorrow night. Tom walked Katryn out to the car when she left.

"What do you think, Tom? Can we take the league?" she joked.

"It's a possibility," he agreed. "We looked good tonight. You played well, by the way. Get everything straightened out?"

"As straight as it can get. And it feels better."

"Good. See you tomorrow night," Tom told her when she got into her car. She pulled away, and was a little surprised to see Tom head back into Denny's. She wondered if he had always walked her to the car and then gone back. She had never noticed before. She had just presumed he was leaving, too.

The three matches on Friday night went super. The EVER READYs won all three and were riding on cloud nine. They went to the closest pizza parlor and celebrated with Nachos. Julie mentioned going up the street to dance, and Ken said they would probably be thrown out.

"Shorts and team t-shirts aren't exactly coat and ties, you know," he explained. Julie bet they would be let in anyway, and soon they all headed to KELLY'S to try. Surprisingly, nothing was said about their appearance. They were even able to pull a couple tables next to each other so they could all sit together.

Mary's husband Bob was introduced to everyone, and he seemed to fit in well. They danced for a couple hours, with the men taking turns dancing with each of the ladies. With Bob there, the odds favored the women and they danced most every dance. Paul asked Julie first, and made sure he also danced with Mary and Anne before asking Katryn. Katryn was just happy he asked her for a fast dance. She was not at all sure how her resolve would last if she were being held in his arms for a slow song.

The band played only a few slow songs during the two sets Katryn was there. She had danced with Tom for two of them, and Ken and Bob for the others. She had begun to think her luck had held when Paul walked towards her. Paul had made his way around the table, and it was Katryn's turn again. As he got to her, the band started to play FEELINGS.

Katryn's resolve may have been strong, but it did not prevent her body from reacting to Paul's touch. Being held in his arms was too much. The electricity sent shocks through every part of her. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend she did not feel it. She must have stiffened slightly, and Paul noticed.

"It won't work, you know," he whispered in her ear. "You can't ignore what we feel." When she refused to acknowledge his comment, he asked, "Appropriate song, don't you think? Feelings like I'll never have you ..." he quietly sang along with the music.

"Please don't make it any worse," she pleaded. "It isn't how I wanted it either." She felt her back would be permanently branded from the heat of his hand.

"I'll find a way," he said it so quietly she could not be entirely sure he had really said anything.

"There is no way," she told him just in case. "If Julie ever finds out..."

"She won't," he promised. She leaned against him for the last few bars, hating how his touch made her feel, but no longer having the energy to pull away from him.

They walked back to the table and heard the band say they were going on a break. Katryn decided it was a good time for her to leave. She told them she had to be going because she had not told her sitter she would be late.

Everyone promised to go dancing the following Friday, after volleyball, and Katryn agreed to ask her sitter to stay later next week.

Tom walked her to her car.

CHAPTER 7

Katryn soaked in the tub for a very long time. It was no use. She could still feel Paul's touch. She tossed and turned all night, and awoke feeling worse than she ever had. It was probably good that she had no idea what dreams had cost her a full night of sleep, she decided. The way things were going, she was afraid the dreams might give her a permanent blush.

Never again, she promised herself. No more dancing. She knew she would do ok in volleyball because the occasional contact was over almost immediately. It had been too long since she had actually wanted any man, though, and being in Paul's arms brought all those buried yearnings back. And she did not need that!

'What happened to that time when owning your own business was all you could possibly want?' she asked herself. Then, glancing at her watch, she realized she was now running late. Where had all the time gone? She was still rushing when Audrey showed up.

"I never even got the boys their breakfast," she had to admit, pulling her coat on.

"Don't worry about it," Audrey told her. Katryn thanked her then headed out the door. She barely made it to the store in time.

"Running a bit late?" she heard Joe ask as she turned the key in the lock.

"Joe where've you been. I missed you last week."

"Had a touch of the 'flu'," he told her. "Picking up an extra day today. Guess I'll have to come back later to browse, seeing how it's time for me to go to work."

"Sorry Joe." Then, an inspiration struck. "Joe, why don't you come back for lunch? We could talk. We haven't sat and talked for a long time. I'll send for sandwiches. About 1:00, if you can wait that long."

"I can wait," he assured her before he left.

Katryn ordered the sandwiches for lunch, then was kept busy enough she never thought about lunch again until Dottie showed up. Katryn told her she would be having lunch at 1:00.

"I ordered you a sandwich, too. Just in case you didn't eat before you came." Katryn added.

"That was sweet, but you needn't have. I ate just before I left home."

Katryn cleaned off her desk while Dottie waited on customers. After pulling a third chair up, she left to go get three sodas at the ice cream shop. The sandwiches arrived shortly after Katryn returned, and Joe showed up just minutes later.

Katryn made the introductions, and then they all sat at the desk to eat lunch. At Katryn's insistence, she and Dottie took turns waiting on customers. Luckily, lunch time business was slow, so they had a lot of time to talk.

Katryn was pleased to see that her two friends appeared quite comfortable with each other. When about an hour had passed, Joe said he had to go back to work. Katryn walked out in the hallway with him.

"Not too subtle," he told her. Disappointed that it must not have gone very well, she apologized.

"I'm sorry. I just ..." his grin stopped her.

"Don't be. I got her phone number." He gave her a quick hug. "Thanks," he said simply. She walked back to the store, and saw that Dottie had already started to clean up the lunch papers. Katryn went around the counter and helped.

"Will you tell me a little about him? He doesn't say much," Dottie asked, a little shyly.

Katryn wasn't all that surprised when Joe showed up to 'browse' near closing time. He purchased a couple westerns and hung around to talk. When Katryn and Dottie closed up, Joe offered to drop Dottie off. Since her employee seemed quite happy with the suggestion, Katryn agreed it would give her a few more minutes at home before practice. She waved goodbye when they pulled out of the lot in front of her, then she headed home.

Katryn got to practice in really good spirits. At least things appeared to be off to a good start for Joe and Dottie. Practice went well, too. Jim's team was there to practice against, having switched to Monday practice since games were Friday's. The EVER READYs, while losing two of the four games, still played well.

Tom and Katryn were the first two at Denny's. When they were seated in their usual booth in the back, Tom mentioned Katryn appeared to be in a good mood. She told Tom about her hopes for Joe and Dottie, not even noticing others arriving.

"I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner," she was telling Tom when Paul asked what she hadn't thought of.

A little self consciously, she explained about her friends. Paul knew who Dottie was, but he had no idea who Joe was. By the time Katryn had explained it all to Paul, everyone at the table had heard.

"Quite the match maker, aren't you?" Anne asked. Katryn thought she detected just a hint of sarcasm, but no-one else seemed to notice, so she ignored it. She was busy trying not to look at Paul.

"Are we practicing Thursday?" Ed asked.

"Not unless everyone wants to. I figure one practice is enough now that we have the games on Friday. That's why Jim's team is coming on Monday's now. They don't want to practice the night before a game. But what do the rest of you think?"

While Paul, Ed, and Anne, were all for Thursday practice, Julie and Mary could not make that many nights out. Ken was not too enthusiastic, either, and Tom would rather not. They decided, therefore, to skip Thursdays.

"Everyone's still planning to go dancing Friday after the games, right?" Julie wanted to know. Tom noticed that everyone else had said yes.

"You're going too, aren't you?" he asked Katryn.

"I'm not sure my sitter..." she started to say.

"Please?" Tom asked. There was no doubt in Katryn's mind what the look on Anne's face meant.

"Of course you'll be able to join us, won't you?" Paul asked. Mary, Ken and Ed added their encouragement.

"I'll try." she promised, and they let it drop. Katryn left shortly after that, and again refused Tom's offer to walk her to her car. He followed her to the door again, making sure she was not being followed when she drove away.

Lying in bed, she began to wish she had never laid eyes on one Paul Keegan. The team she had considered almost perfect was crumbling before her eyes. Julie was touchy, and Anne was becoming rather unpleasant. She could not even look at Paul, and Anne was making it fairly evident Katryn should stay from Tom, too. It amazed her how quickly the tide could turn.

On her way to work Tuesday morning, Katryn felt things could not possibly get any worse. They did, in fact, take a slight turn for the better when Dottie surprised her with a beautiful dried flower arrangement that she had made.

"It's to thank you for introducing me to Joe. He seems really nice," she explained to Katryn.

Not ten minutes later, though, things did indeed get a lot worse. Paul walked into the store and invited her to, in fact demanded her presence at, lunch. When she tried to politely refuse, Paul's eyes flashed danger signals, and his voice dropped two octaves.

"We need to talk," he quietly said

"Paul, please don't," she begged quietly.

"You join me for lunch, or I'll have a long talk with Julie." He meant it. She saw it in his eyes. She nodded, walked towards the back of the store where Dottie was helping a customer, and explained she was going to lunch. Dottie turned to see whom she was going with, and smiled her approval of Paul.

"No need to hurry back," Dottie told her employer, thinking how she had expected to see that tall good looking man back long before now.

Katryn went unwillingly with Paul to the restaurant. His same table had been reserved for him and Katryn absently remembered it was Tuesday. Katryn told Paul she really was not hungry, so he ordered for both of them. The waitress walked away and Paul told Katryn they would talk after they ate, like before.

Katryn really was not hungry. She picked at, and pushed around the beautiful trout that graced her plate. She hated wasting such well prepared food, but she felt if she ate anything, it would surely stick in her throat.

When Paul was finished, he frowned at how little she had eaten, but said nothing. He called the waitress over to remove their plates and bring them some coffee. When the coffee was poured and the waitress gone, Paul started in on her.

"Now, Katryn, the rules change a little. I played your way, accepted my one and only choice, and made the best of it. You, however, are backing out of your end of the bargain, and I won't have it." He was pleased to see the anger in her eyes when she answered him.

"You won't have it? Just what do you think you have to say about it?"

"Just this." She saw his cool blue eyes darken menacingly. "I accepted friendship because it was all you offered. Now you're pulling that away, too. Don't argue," he told her when she started to protest. "You're leaving Denny's earlier and earlier every night. You refuse to even look at me. Now you say you might not make dancing." His look dared her to deny what he said. She did not, so he continued.

"The way I see it, I no longer have anything to lose. You won't even allow me the promised friendship. So now the tables are turning. Either you start being part of the team again, stay and talk with us, go dancing with us, at least pretend to enjoy being with us, or I go to Julie. And if you make me angry enough, I might not only tell her everything that's gone on, I might even find myself embellishing what her best friend and I were doing behind her back, so to speak."

Katryn stared, horrified. There was no doubt in her mind about whether or not he would actually do exactly what he threatened. She half believed she deserved it, anyway. She had dug herself into this hole, after all.

When she thought about the repercussions, she cringed. Julie, of course, would hate her, and would most probably quit the team. After Julie explained to everyone what Katryn had done, the team would come apart as people chose whose side they were on.

Even Tom, good old Tom, would probably side with Julie when he found what an awful friend Katryn had turned out to be. She would lose Julie, the team, Tom, and of course, she would never be able to forgive Paul. She refused to even look at him when he asked,

"Well?"

"What choice do I have?" she answered, defeated.

"The same choice you offered me. Only this time you'll play by my rules."

"Which are?" she asked in a whisper, afraid of the answer.

"First, you aren't to tell Julie of this lunch, or about our discussion," he mocked. "Second, you'll go to the dances with us every week with no further excuses about your sitter. Third, you'll stay till at least 10:00 at Denny's. Your sitter didn't mind when I first joined, surely she won't now. And Fourth, Katryn," He tipped her face up towards his, forcing her to look at him. "Fourth, you will have lunch with me every Tuesday."

"And if I can't?" she asked finally.

"If you won't," he corrected, "I'll go to Julie."

Katryn put herself on auto pilot, refusing to try to make any sense of what had happened, or to think about it at all. She functioned well at work, and at home. Even the boys did not seem to notice a change.

Friday night rolled around, and Katryn steeled herself for the night, vowing to herself that she would at least look like she was having a good time. Volleyball helped. She enjoyed playing, even when they lost. And tonight, they did lose one of their matches. They played well, though, and did beat Jim's team.

They went straight to KELLY'S after the games, and Katryn honestly tried to have a good time. She was sure she was fooling everyone. Julie was too interested in Paul to notice if anything were amiss with Katryn. Tom was kept dancing continually, with Anne asking him most of the time. No-one else knew her well enough to see through her guise.

Paul did not ask her to dance very often, and never during a slow dance. After the first set, a friend of Paul's showed up and joined their table. Bill was in his early forties, slender, blonde, and had big brown eyes. He seemed taken with Julie, and asked her to dance quite often. When they were in the powder room together, Julie asked Katryn what she thought of Bill.

"Seems nice. Dances well. Hardly gives anyone else a chance at you. It must be fun to be so popular," Katryn teased.

"It has been fun this evening," Julie admitted. "Paul's been rather attentive, too. I think Bill's making him a little jealous. At least, I hope," she added.

For just a moment Katryn had had her hopes up. Julie's last statement crushed them again. She should have known things would not work out that well for her. Julie would never like Bill more than Paul!

Katryn was beginning to feel just a little like a bump on a log as the evening wore on. Anne and Tom danced together quite often. Mary had Bob. Julie had Bill and Paul. Ken and Ed went to other tables to ask younger women to dance. Not that she could complain she was sitting too much, she really sat out very few. After all, the odds were still in her favor.

By the end of the third set, Mary and Bob had left. Ken and Ed all but deserted. Tom and Anne were becoming quite a pair, and Katryn watched Bill and Paul taking turns dancing with Julie. She had to admit Bill was the perfect gentleman, asking her to dance, too. But it was obvious he liked Julie. Paul asked Katryn for a few more fast dances, and even took Anne from Tom for a slow one.

Tom danced with Katryn, and she felt good knowing he was still a friend. She felt comfortable dancing with him, and almost hated when the song came to an end. Anne immediately reclaimed Tom. When she got back to the table, Katryn told the others she had to go.

"I work tomorrow," she explained, daring Paul to argue. Ed came over when she was putting on her coat.

"I'm leaving, too. I'll walk you to your car if you'd like."

"Thanks," she told him and they left together.

"Did you find someone your age?" Katryn asked him.

"Sorta'. She wouldn't give me her number, though. She said she'd be here next Friday, so who knows?" He raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes. She had to laugh at the face he made.

"Just don't do that when you ask her out!" she warned lightly. Ed waved goodbye, still rolling his eyes.

Katryn drove away feeling relieved. She had made it through the night. The fact that everyone had at least one 'someone' but her did not make the thought of Friday night dancing any easier to take, though.

Monday evening's practice was a little hectic, and Anne picked a fight with Julie. Denny's ended up being slightly strained, but Katryn was glad Anne was angry at someone else. When Paul called Tuesday morning to say he would have to miss lunch, Katryn was relieved. A little less stress would do her wonders.

Work, during the week, was busy, and her only high point was that Joe showed up more than once, and Dottie seemed to light up like a lighthouse whenever he was around.

Friday rolled around quickly and Katryn was looking forward to volleyball.

They won all three matches that night, and ended up at KELLY'S in really good spirits. Ed saw his friend right away, and soon was entrenched at her table. Ken also found some other women to dance with. He danced with his teammates too, though, so Katryn was kept busy.

Around ten, Bill and another friend of Paul's showed up. Larry was only slightly taller than Katryn, with dark brown hair and piercing gray eyes. He was not bad looking at all, and Katryn was pleasantly surprised to have him asking her for quite a few dances.

She noticed Julie eyeing him, and when they went into the powder room this time, Julie mentioned he seemed fairly nice. Katryn agreed. He did seem nice. He paled next to Paul, but he was a welcome diversion.

Larry monopolized Katryn's time, and with Ken, Tom, Bob and even Bill asking her for dances, she rarely saw Paul at all. For her part, she tried not to think of whom he was dancing all the slow songs with, and was extra glad Larry was there to keep her busy.

She and Larry left the dance floor after two dances in a row, and Paul met them half-way back to their table.

"May I have this dance?" he asked her. Larry bowed and placed Katryn's hand in Paul's before he walked back towards the table. Katryn was surprised to see Julie get up and ask Larry to dance before he even got to the table, but she soon forgot all about Larry.

The band was playing another slow song, and Paul held her close. The sparks coursed through her the moment he pulled her near. Every part of her tingled in awareness of him. His hand burned through her shirt again, and when he whispered in her ear, she fairly jumped out of her shoes.

"I'm pleased to see you trying so hard to pretend to enjoy yourself," he said none too nicely. "Did you miss me at lunch Tuesday?" Katryn tried to pull back slightly, but he pulled her even closer to him.

"No, I didn't miss you," she lied. "I was quite relieved. But I suppose you'd like it better if I were miserable," she answered in kind.

"It would seem more fair," he admitted. His hands began to slowly roam up and down her back while he whispered in her ear, "You do seem to be enjoying yourself now."

"Please, Paul. Not here. Julie will..."

"Julie wouldn't even notice," he assured her. "Bill is keeping her quite busy. And right now she seems pretty happy with Larry." He turned and loosened his grip so she could see the truth behind his words. Julie was dancing, if possible, even closer to Larry than she was to Paul. Katryn was a little surprised that Julie would act so friendly with someone Katryn had been dancing with.

"Do you really think Julie would turn Larry down for your friendship?" Paul asked, reading her mind.

"Of course she would," Katryn defended her best friend. Pulling Katryn close again, he shook his head in disbelief.

Katryn lost track of Julie almost immediately. Paul was too close, his hands were too warm, and she no longer had any control over her body. All her resolve, all the promises she had made were slipping away. The walls she had erected were crumbling. Her senses were filled with Paul - his scent, his touch, his voice. Where her head rested against his chest she could feel the quickening beat of his heart. She felt as if she were drowning in him.

Had she wanted to save herself, wanted to pull away, she would have been unable. Paul held her too close. Her head began to swim as he twirled her faster and faster around the floor. Eyes closed and holding tight, she knew she would soon be beyond the point of caring about Julie.

Julie! Her head echoed, reverberated as it shouted the name. Julie! Your best friend!

Only Katryn could have heard the warning, and yet Paul must have sensed it. The whirling slowed, he loosened his hold on her, and when, finally, the dance ended, he pulled himself away from her.

It was like a physical loss when they separated. Katryn felt cold and achingly alone, her feelings in a type of shock. And when the shock slowly ebbed, she was left with the pain. That one dance, a dance that both lasted too long and ended too soon, showed her how good it would feel with Paul. And then, that same dance had let her know exactly how deep would be the loss. She was playing with a much more dangerous flame than she had ever imagined. She had been scorched already, now she wondered just how badly burned he would leave her.

Katryn left shortly after her dance with Paul. Larry walked her to her car and asked if she would be there next Friday. If she sounded skeptical when she assured him she would, he did not seem to notice. She headed home to lick her wounds.

Too exhausted to even think, Katryn fell asleep immediately and awoke feeling only slightly refreshed in the morning. She was thankful she could go to work a little late since Dottie was opening the store. Ryan and Timmy fought over breakfast, and Ryan whined about having to be with a sitter all day.

"Other kids do fun things on the weekends, we never do," he told her.

"Other kids do their work Saturday and play Sunday," she answered, refusing to be drawn into a fight. "You two agree on what you'd like to do tomorrow, and if your work's done, we'll do it."

"Roller-skating?" Ryan asked.

"No. A movie," Timmy demanded.

"Work it out, guys. You have to agree," she told them. She was saved by Audrey's arrival and she left for work.

When she arrived at work, Katryn found Joe 'browsing' while Dottie waited on customers. They all had lunch together, and Dottie asked if Katryn and the boys would like to join Joe and her for supper Sunday. Katryn said yes, knowing the boys would love to see Joe and Dottie again.

After work, Katryn picked up the movie MARY POPPINS and some ice cream. When she got home, Timmy told her the good news.

"Ryan and I agreed. A movie AND roller-skating."

Katryn reached down and took both her boys in her arms. Laughing, she gave them each a squeeze and told them that was pretty sneaky. She had to admit, though, that she had not said that they had to agree on only one thing. She would have to remember in the future, to be more specific!

After checking to see that their work was done, she called the roller rink and the theater. They could go skating in the morning, go to see a movie in the afternoon, and go to dinner at Dottie's afterwards.

She fixed a quick supper, topped it off with ice cream, and then the three of them watched MARY POPPINS. The boys were so excited about tomorrow that Katryn had no trouble getting them into the bathtub, and into bed.

Katryn soaked in the tub when the boys were asleep. She focused on all the good things in her life. Two healthy, happy sons who were a joy to raise. She had her own business that was doing well. She had Dottie and Joe for family. Tom and Julie were good friends. If she looked at all the positives, her life seemed pretty darn good. So why didn't if feel so good, she asked herself, before falling asleep. Why did it suddenly seem not good enough?

Katryn started Sunday morning refreshed and ready. She only fell twice skating, made it all the way through the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and they arrived at Dottie's on time with the boys looking faintly angelic in slacks, sweaters, and ties.

She had not told her sons that Joe would be there, and they were excited to see him, too. It had been awhile since the boys had seen Dottie or Joe, and Katryn was reminded she should make sure the boys saw more of their only 'grandparents'. She was glad soccer season would start soon. Then Joe would see the boys more often.

Katryn was helping Dottie get supper ready when she saw the glitter from Dottie's right hand. Katryn pointed to the ring and tears came to Dottie's eyes.

"That's what we wanted to tell you tonight. Joe's asked me to marry him."

"Oh, Dottie, how wonderful. You two are perfect for each other."

Dinner was a joyous occasion with Timmy and Ryan also excited that Grampa Joe and Dottie would be married. Joe even promised Katryn that Dottie could stay working at the store if she wanted. Dottie quickly assured all of them that she had no intention of quitting.

Dottie told Katryn and the boys all about Joe's proposal. How he had asked her to marry him Friday night with flowers, candy, and on bended knee. Joe's face turned red when Dottie let Katryn know how romantic 'Grampa Joe' could be. It had been Joe's idea to keep it a secret until they could all celebrate together at dinner, Dottie told her.

"I was dying to tell you all day yesterday," Dottie explained. "I even had to take the ring off so you wouldn't see. But Joe said he wanted to tell you and the boys together!" Joe nodded, and Katryn knew her boys had a pretty wonderful set of grandparents right here.

Before she left, Katryn found out they were to be married in December. Dottie asked if Katryn would stand for her, and Katryn assured Dottie she would be honored.

The boys went right to bed, when they got home. Katryn was not sure if it was because of the good news, or how busy they had been, and decided it was probably a little of each. Katryn was soon asleep, too. Joe and Dottie had improved her spirits greatly.

CHAPTER 8

Monday was a little slow at work, and Dottie had been just about to leave when Katryn got a call from the Principal at Pasadena Park. It seemed that Ryan had fallen off the Monkey bars and they were afraid he might have broken his arm. The school nurse would drive him to the emergency clinic if Katryn wanted to meet them there.

Dottie stayed to keep the shop open, and Katryn hurried to the clinic. She was not an overly protective mother. She had been raised with four brothers who had managed to cut, scrape, bruise or break all parts of their bodies with no real lasting effects. Still she was anxious to see how badly broken Ryan's arm was. She found herself exceeding the speed limit more than once on her drive across town.

When she got into the Minor Emergency room, a nurse showed her back to Ryan's room. A doctor was looking at X-Rays clipped to a viewing screen along the wall. Katryn looked at her son, instead. His left arm was bent slightly, near the wrist. It was obviously broken, even she could tell.

Ryan must have cried a little, she realized when saw the tear stains on his face.

"How're you doing?" she asked him, sitting down in a chair the nurse brought for her. With his right hand he took hold of his mother's hand and squeezed.

"I didn't cry at school," he told her. "Just a little in the car. I wanted you to be here."

"I am," she reassured him. Then added, "You know, Ryan, it would have been ok even if you had cried at school. Broken bones hurt a lot."

"Mrs. Delaney," the doctor interrupted. "I'm doctor Dolan, an orthopedic doctor. As I'm sure you can see, Ryan's arm is definitely broken. Both the radius and ulna are involved. I'm sure it'll set well, but I'd like to do it under anesthesia." Katryn nodded. He continued.

"Ryan had lunch about 11:30, so I'd like to wait till 5:30 to take him to surgery. We want to be sure there's nothing on his stomach when he has the anesthetic." Katryn nodded again. "I'd like to fix this at Sacred Heart. They have an operating room available at 5:30. If you'd like, you could go there from here. They could help keep Ryan quiet and comfortable. I'll call over and leave an order for pain medication if he needs it. If we get started by 5:30, he'll probably be out of surgery by no later than 6:30. If he wakes up feeling ok, he can go home by 7:30 or 8:00." Katryn nodded again.

"I'll need your signature on a permit. We'll want him to keep ice on his arm till surgery to keep the swelling down."

Katryn let go of Ryan's hand and went to the desk to sign the operating permit. When she got back to her son, she explained in words he could understand what was going on. The nurse came in with a sling and carefully put it on so Ryan's arm would be held safely against his chest.

Katryn drove Ryan the few blocks to the hospital. He was made comfortable on a stretcher with his arm propped up on pillows. One nurse placed ice bags on either side of the break. Another nurse came in to put an IV in his other arm and give him something for the pain.

Katryn left the room while the nurse was putting the IV in, and called Dottie. Next Katryn called Audrey who said she would not mind staying with Timmy and would fix his supper.

Katryn went back in with Ryan and held his hand. He dozed occasionally, the medication relieving his pain quite effectively.

At five o'clock the nurses came in to take Ryan to surgery. Katryn kissed him goodbye and gave his hand a squeeze before he left. She went back out to the waiting room, and wished she had at least brought a good book to keep her mind occupied.

It was 6:30 and she had leafed through every spare magazine in the waiting room when Dottie came in with Joe.

"How's he doing?" Joe asked.

"I don't know yet," Katryn told him. Her two friends sat beside her on the couch she occupied.

"By the way, Katryn, the new Calvin and Hobbes came in this afternoon. I thought you might like a copy," Dottie knew it was one of her favorites.

"Thanks. I imagine I'll have plenty of time to read this tonight."

"Now you listen to me," Joe told her sternly. "We don't want you at the store tomorrow. Dottie 'n I'll do just fine. You stay home with Ryan, you hear?"

She hugged Joe and told them both thanks. The truth was, she hated to ask them, but she HAD wanted to stay home tomorrow with Ryan. She was sure he would be fine, and would want to show off his cast by Wednesday, but she thought he might need one day of rest. The doctor came over to Katryn while she was thanking Joe and Dottie.

"Everything went well. I think it'll heal nicely. I'd like you to wait till 8:00 before you take him home so the cast will be drier. I need to see him in two weeks. I'll take off his cast, x-ray the arm again, and if all's well, I'll re-cast. The nurses will give you medication for pain, and an instruction sheet explaining what to watch for in the next couple of days. Otherwise he's fine, as I said. Oh, and he can go back to school tomorrow, if the cast is completely dry and he's in a hurry. If not, I'd prefer he wait till Wednesday. Any questions?"

"None I can think of." She knew she would probably think of hundreds of them after he left, though.

"Fine. If you'll call the office and make the appointment, I'll see you in two weeks."

"Thanks, Doctor Dolan."

"You've got a fine son, there, Mrs. Delaney," he told her before leaving.

Not five minutes later the nurse told Katryn she could go see Ryan. Joe and Dottie were allowed back, too. Ryan was groggy, but awake. He had a blue paper cap on his head, and in his bed was a latex glove blown up into a 5 fingered balloon. It had a face drawn on it. He told his mother that one of his nurses, Judy, had made it for him. Joe gave Ryan a stuffed Ninja Turtle he had hidden in his coat. The turtle had a band aid and sling on his left arm.

"He went right over to the stuffed animal store as soon as you called. He even made the sling himself!" Dottie whispered to Katryn. Ryan hugged the turtle close with his good right arm, and slowly drifted back to sleep.

"We'd better go now, Katryn," Dottie said quietly when Ryan fell asleep.

"Thanks for everything." Katryn hugged them both again, and this time there were tears in her eyes.

"Remember," Joe whispered. "Don't even think of showing up at the store tomorrow." Then he and Dottie left. Katryn wiped her tears away, sat down in the comfy chair beside Ryan's bed, and started to read Calvin and Hobbes.

It was almost nine o'clock when Katryn and Ryan got home. Audrey apologized for allowing Timmy to stay up, but she told Katryn he refused to go to bed till Ryan got home. Ryan sleepily showed his brother the cast and his turtle before Katryn carried him into his room and put him to bed. When she tucked Timmy in, she explained that Grampa Joe had gotten Ryan the turtle.

"It's ok, Mom. He got it 'cause he broke his arm. I'm just glad I didn't break my arm 'cause soccer games start soon."

"Ryan might have to give up soccer this season," Katryn agreed.

"I'd rather play soccer than have a ninja turtle," Timmy told her. She kissed her son goodnight, and went back to the living room to read.

She checked on Ryan at ten, eleven and twelve, and would have checked on him through the night if she had not fallen sound asleep in the recliner. She woke up a little after six and slowly remembered why she was not in her own bed. She checked Ryan again, and then made her way upstairs to shower.

Timmy ate breakfast with his mother while Ryan slept on. He walked to the bus stop for the first time that year, and told his classmates all about his brother.

Katryn and Ryan spent a quiet day at home. Katryn read him most of Calvin and Hobbes, and he napped for a short while after lunch. She could see his energy returning, and she knew he would be more than ready for school in the morning. He was in a hurry to show off his cast, and his Ninja Turtle, to his classmates. He even made his mother wait until after Timmy signed his cast before she could.

Katryn had just finished reading to the boys and was in the kitchen deciding what to fix for dinner when the doorbell rang. Timmy came and got her.

"There's a man at the door to see you, Mom."

Katryn walked into the living room and stopped short. Paul was feeling Ryan's cast and asking how he was. "He said he knows you from Volleyball. I hope it's ok that we let him in?" Timmy asked quickly. Before Katryn could answer, Paul spoke up.

"Dottie told me what happened to Ryan." Reaching to the floor behind him, he picked up two wrapped boxes and a beautiful long stemmed dark red rose. "I hope you don't mind that I brought something by for Ryan, and for Timmy," he said. She shook her head, so he handed both boxes to Timmy.

"Maybe you could help your brother open his, first?" Paul asked, showing the boys the bigger box was Ryan's. The boys thanked him, then hurried over to the sofa and sat down. Timmy started to open Ryan's box first.

"This is for you, of course," Paul handed Katryn the rose. She looked up questioningly and he answered, "It's an apology of sorts for what I was thinking about you. First, you didn't show up for volleyball last night, and then when I came to get you for lunch, you weren't there. I thought you had gone back on our deal" he admitted.

"Dottie must have explained," Katryn guessed. "Thank you for the rose. And for thinking of the boys."

"Mommy, look what we got!" Ryan exclaimed. "I got a nerf soccer ball, Ninja Turtle coloring book, crayons and a soccer game." He held up an electronic game he could barely hold with one hand.

"I got the same things, only not the nerf ball," Timmy said, excitedly pushing buttons on his electronic game.

"I thought Ryan might want to stay in practice with soccer," Paul explained to Katryn. "And I was afraid he might not be allowed to play with regular soccer balls while he's in the cast." Katryn was taken aback by how thoughtful Paul had been. She thanked him again. The boys, remembering their manners, thanked him again, also.

"Would you like to sign my cast?" Ryan asked. Paul said he would be honored. While Paul was writing on the cast, Timmy asked his mother how to play the game. When she admitted she knew nothing about it, Paul offered to help.

"Would you stay and play a game with me, then?" Timmy invited. Paul turned to Katryn and asked if she would mind.

"No." She could hardly throw him out when he had been so thoughtful, she told herself. Then she heard herself ask, "Would you like to stay for dinner? I was just going to fix something."

"You hadn't started anything yet, had you?"

"No, as a matter of fact I'm running a little late tonight."

"Good," he told her. As I have pizza being delivered ..." the door bell rang and he smiled. "...right now, I'll bet. Dottie assured me you and the boys like Pizza. I hope it's ok?" He didn't wait for her answer, but instead opened the door, took the large box from the delivery man and paid him.

"Oh boy, pizza!" Ryan yelled. Timmy offered to set the table, but Katryn told him she would do it. Paul followed her out to the kitchen, pizza in hand.

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked, sitting the box on the counter.

"No," she said, and quickly turned to the cupboard. She had not been quick enough, though, and Paul saw the glint in her eye.

"Katryn, what's wrong?" Reaching for her shoulders, he turned her around to look at him. Seeing the tears, he started to apologize. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you cry. I'll leave..." She shook her head.

"It's ok, Paul. It was just so nice of you ..." He took her in his arms and held her close. It took a moment until she could compose herself. This was a side of Paul she had never seen. This side was so different from the Paul who demanded she do things his way, the Paul who had danced so suggestively with her. This side was so much more appealing.

She pulled away and assured Paul he was welcome to join them for supper. He helped her set the table, and soon the four of them were eating pizza together. Timmy wolfed down one slice of pizza, and was catching his breath before the next one.

"Who are you?" Timmy finally asked Paul.

"Paul's the new guy on the volleyball team." Katryn answered, smiling at her son's lack of tact.

"Oh," was all Timmy said. Katryn knew why Timmy gave Ryan a disappointed look, and wondered if Paul had noticed. Changing the subject she asked Ryan if he were able to play his game.

"A little bit," he admitted. Paul promised to show both of them how to play the games after supper, and talk got around to soccer. Paul asked lots of questions about the team the boys played on, the positions they played and how their team was doing. He listened attentively to all their answers, and Katryn knew he had easily won them over.

After dinner, Katryn shooed the three of them out of the kitchen and did the dishes. Paul had offered to help, but she had assured him it was ok; he could show the boys how to play their games.

In the quiet of the kitchen, Katryn marveled at how well Paul got on with her sons. He was never patronizing, never talked down to them. He had, in fact, seemed truly interested in what they had to say. She really wished she had not seen him like this, not seen how he could be with her sons. She started into the living room and heard Timmy ask Paul,

"Do you like Julie?"

"She seems like a nice person," he answered non-commitally.

"No, I mean do you like her ..." Timmy quit when he saw the look of anger on his mother's face.

"How're the games going?" she quickly interjected. Even Katryn broke down and played the soccer game. They made teams up, and Paul & Ryan won two out of three games. Timmy was ready for another try when Katryn noticed the time.

"Sorry, sport, but it's bed time. It's a school night."

"Aw, Mom," Timmy started to complain.

"Maybe your Mom would let me come back some time and we'll play again ok?" Paul quickly offered. Timmy and Ryan both looked to their mother. When she nodded, they whooped and yeah'ed loudly. Then they kissed their mom, shook hands with Paul, and headed to their rooms to change into pajamas.

"They're really nice boys, Katryn. You've done a good job with them."

"Thanks. But they were born 'good'. I don't think a I had a whole lot to do with it."

"Give yourself some credit. Of course you had a lot to do with it. They're well-mannered and polite. Kids aren't born well-mannered and polite."

"Well, thanks. And thanks for the flower, and their games - and, in fact, dinner. It was a very nice evening." Paul did not answer immediately, and Katryn would have sworn she saw a look of regret in his eyes. He recovered quickly, though.

"It was a nice evening. By the way," he asked, "Why did Timmy look so disappointed to hear I was on your team?" Her face reddened to a deep rose hue when she answered him.

"They know I wouldn't date someone Julie's dating."

"Do they want you to date?" he prodded. Taking a deep breath, she answered honestly.

"Yes. They want a father desperately."

"Any man would consider himself very lucky to have them for sons, Katryn." He saw tears spring to her eyes. He stood and walked over to her. He kissed her softly. Then he pulled away from her and asked, "Will I see you Friday?" In spite of how nice he was being, Katryn could not forget the dance they had shared last time.

"Paul, I'm not sure ..." she started.

"I promise we'll have no repeat performance on the dance floor." he assured her, seeming to read her mind.

"Well, then, I guess I'll be there." He surprised her by thanking her. Then he left. He was an enigma to her. She wanted to hate him, but she could not. She wanted to quit seeing him, but she could not. She wanted to tell him how much she cared, but she could not.

She was awake in bed for quite some time wondering if there were more sides to Paul she had not seen yet.

Wednesday Katryn went back to work. It was a relatively slow day, so Dottie left early. Joe picked her up and they went to supper.

Katryn's evening was pretty busy, what with checking all the names on Ryan's cast, playing the new soccer game, and then cub scouts. The boys never mentioned Paul, and Katryn spent a lot of time trying not to think of how well he had gotten along with her boys.

Friday morning Katryn was at the shop early, as usual. Joe came in to browse before he began work, and he and Katryn discussed the upcoming wedding.

"We're selling both our houses," he told her. "We're getting a three bedroom apartment. She'll have a room for her flower arranging things, and I'll have an office," he explained. "We'll even have a day bed in her room for visitors," he added.

If he had seemed even a little nervous talking to Katryn, she would have put it down to pre-nuptial jitters. She never noticed that he was perhaps a bit more talkative than usual.

When he left to go to work, Katryn began straightening shelves and adding new books where they belonged. It was a bit quiet for a Friday, but Katryn was enjoying the change of pace and never noticed the time. At 12:20 Dottie hurried in and back to the office. Katryn looked up from her work for a quick 'hi'.

At 12:30, the festivities began. Joe came in the door with Paul, a large group of employees from the Flour Mill, and quite a few of Katryn's regular customers. They began to sing "Happy Birthday to you." Katryn looked surprised. Her birthday was late June. She listened as they continued. "...Happy Birthday Katryn's Book Store..." and she suddenly realized it must be March 17th! She was stunned. Never before had she been unprepared for St. Patrick's Day, and these last 7 years she had had an extra reason to celebrate. She decided she had been much more pre-occupied than she had imagined.

Her eyes grew moist, and she thanked everyone. While Dottie fixed green punch, Joe placed a sheet cake on the counter. White with green shamrocks, it read, 'HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY, KATRYN'. A shopkeeper from one of the other stores handed her a very large card.

"Happy Birthday to one of our favorite shops, Katryn. May you have many, many more birthdays with us," she read it aloud. It had at least a hundred signatures.

"I got most of your regulars to sign when you took your lunch breaks, and all day Tuesday," Dottie told her. Katryn was overwhelmed.

"Don't you start crying," Joe ordered. "You'll ruin the cake." She laughed along with the others. She blew out the seven candles on her cake, and then Dottie served cake while Paul ladled punch.

It seemed to Katryn that every person she had ever seen in the Mill showed up sometime that afternoon. Shop keepers told her how much they appreciated her letting them shop before the Mill opened. Customers told her how they enjoyed her friendly service. The time went by so quickly, and she was busy talking to so many friends, that she was totally surprised when there was a lull and Joe exclaimed, "Should be slowing down! It's well after closing, you know."

"Fastest afternoon I've ever had!" Katryn admitted, looking at her watch. "Thank you. You and Dottie ..."

"And Paul," Dottie added. "He had a bit to do with this, too." Katryn saw Paul was still at the punch bowl.

"Have you been there all afternoon?" she asked, surprised.

"And you never even noticed!" his eyes twinkled when he answered.

"Thank you. All 3 of you. I can't tell you how much all of this means..."

"Then don't try," Joe told her. "You've done plenty for everyone else all along. We just wanted to do something for you." Katryn gave Joe a big hug.

"You're the best, Joe," she kissed his cheek. Dottie walked over and Katryn hugged her, too. "Thank you Dottie. I couldn't have found a better family for the boys then you two." The three of them had tears in their eyes. Joe, embarrassed, harrumphed.

"Guess we better get this cleaned up, eh?" Dottie searched for mislaid paper cups while Joe got the tables wiped off. Paul took the punch bowl to the back room to rinse out. Before she knew it, Katryn's store was spic 'n' span. Then Joe and Dottie said they had to leave.

"I'll be here to open in the morning, Katryn. Have fun at the dance." Dottie told her before they left. Only Paul remained. He had said nothing while Katryn again thanked Dottie and Joe. After they left, Katryn turned to him.

"This was really sweet, Paul. I don't know how to thank you."

"You gave the others a hug," he suggested.

She nodded. He held her close, but this time was different. Though the electricity was there, though her heart was racing, this time his hug was tender and caring. He held her a long time before letting go.

"I have something for you," he said, reaching into his inside coat pocket. He handed her a long thin box.

Nervously, she unwrapped it. It was a jeweler's box. She snapped it open to find a simple gold chain with a beautiful emerald shamrock.

"It's ... beautiful," she stammered. "Oh, Paul, you shouldn't have."

"Really?" he asked, cocking an eye brow.

"No, you really shouldn't have," she said, smiling. "But since you did, and since I'm sure you'd be heartbroken if I made you take it back..."

"Very heartbroken," he agreed. He too, was smiling.

"Then perhaps I should keep it."

"Perhaps you should," he repeated, more seriously. Then he asked, "May I help you put it on?" When she nodded, he took the gold chain from the box. Katryn turned away from him and held her hair up off her neck. He fastened the two ends of the necklace and then turned her towards him.

"How does it look?" she asked, fingering the shamrock.

"It looks like it was made for you. It's as beautiful as you are."

Katryn blushed. He took her face in his hands and kissed her. Her arms wound around him unconsciously, and he pulled her close to him, his kiss becoming more demanding. Katryn felt the sparks as his kiss grew more intense, his hands pulling her closer and closer. Her hands slipped under his coat to press against his back, holding him even closer than he held her.

She felt him pull back. Surprised, she looked into his eyes and for just a moment she thought she saw pain. He recovered quickly, and with the twinkle back in his eye, explained.

"I made a promise Tuesday, that I have to keep even if this isn't a dance floor," he reminded her. "And I'll bet Ryan and Timmy wouldn't be too impressed with a fellow who can't keep a promise." Katryn nodded. She realized she owed him. She was not at all sure she would have been able to pull away this time.

"By the way, I talked to Audrey and she said you were going straight to the games from work. We'd have just enough time for a quick sandwich if we go now."

Going for a sandwich sounded good to Katryn. Not that she was hungry, but being alone with Paul right now sounded too good to pass up - even if they had to be alone in a crowded restaurant.

She went to the back room, brushed through her hair, quickly touched up her makeup, and started out the door. She rushed back for her volleyball clothes, and they stopped at her car long enough for her to drop her uniform off. Then Paul escorted her to his car.

Over sandwiches, Katryn told Paul about some of the people he had met at her party. Though she had thought she was not hungry, she was able to do justice to a delicious turkey and Swiss. When they were finished, Paul took her back to her car and followed her to Shaw Jr. Hi for the volleyball games.

Katryn locked her necklace in the glove box before going into the gym. Though she hated to take it off, no jewelry was allowed during games. Paul waited a moment outside and let Katryn go into the gym first so it would not look like if they had come together. They changed into their uniforms in the appropriate locker rooms, and then met their teammates on one of the courts for a quick warm up.

They lost one match, but Katryn told her team they should still be at the top of the league because the next best team had already lost 3 games going into tonight's games. It was, in fact, Jim's team.

After the games, Katryn told the others she would meet them at KELLY'S. She had brought some toiletries this week so she could clean up a little after the games and change out of her uniform. She had purposely worn dark slacks and a light silk blouse to work so she could change back into them after volleyball.

Katryn felt at least a little fresher when she put her things back into her duffel bag. She dabbed a last drop of Emeraude behind her right ear, placed the bottle back in her make-up bag, and left the women's locker room. She saw the janitor pick up a last errant volleyball and place it in a large cart. He waved at her before he wheeled through the double doors that led into another gym.

Katryn stood for a moment and looked around the empty gym. Fifteen minutes ago there had been close to 100 people playing, watching or refereeing volleyball at four different nets. Now only the familiar faint scent of sweat and old tennis shoes remained to even hint at the activity of a short while ago. Depressing, Katryn thought to herself. An empty gym, a gym not being used for sports was depressing. Big, empty, lonely. All of that.

Shaking off a slightly melancholy mood, Katryn headed for the front door-way. She was almost to the entry way when she realized she was not alone, after all. A cold chill replaced the sense of melancholy when she recognized the voice coming from off to her right.

CHAPTER 9

"Katryn, how very nice to see you," he mocked. "But where's your body guard?" John walked out from the shadows beside the closed up bleachers. Fighting a wave of panic, Katryn forced herself to keep walking, forced her voice to remain calm.

"John. It's been awhile." Lame, but at least her voice had not cracked. She wondered if she could get past him to the door. She quickened her step.

"Now, Katryn, surely you're not in any hurry to leave, are you?" He guessed her intent, and effectively cut off her escape by positioning himself between her and the doors. Rather than get any closer to him, she stopped.

"What did you want, John?" she asked sharply. It would do her no good to try to placate him, she knew well. All the talks they had had in the past, had convinced her he was beyond reasoning. She refused to allow herself to sound, or act, frightened.

"You haven't told me where Tom is, Katryn. I told him I was patient that I'd wait. I'm a little surprised and disappointed that he gave up so easily." Her mind was racing. What did he mean? Why did he want to know where Tom was? Was he worried that if Tom found him harassing her again...

"Tom's waiting outside," she quickly lied.

"Wrong, Katryn. You're wrong, you know. First of all, your car is parked outside, so you're driving yourself. Second, Tom, and that little witch Anne, left together." He took a step towards her. Katryn stepped sideways, hoping she could still squeeze past and get outside. "What's the matter, Katryn?" he asked in a deceptively calm voice. "Don't you want to have another talk with me?"

"I'm in a hurry, John. I'm meeting the team..."

"You've got plenty of time. I doubt they'll miss you for awhile. Tom's busy with Anne. Julie seems to have her eye on the new guy." Katryn's eyebrow raised reflexively. "How do I know that?" he asked, taking another step towards her. She was dismayed when she realized there was less than three feet between them, and she had backed herself up to the wall.

"I pay attention, Katryn, that's how I know. I've watched you a lot these last few weeks. Watched your team play, watched you at work in your store. I even followed you and your boys to a soccer game. You have two real nice boys there, you know. It's too bad about Ryan's arm."

Katryn was having a hard time fighting the fear and nausea his words evoked. Fear for herself she might have been able to hide. She was not able to mask the fear brought on by the stark realization that he might hurt her boys. She fought to clear her mind, to pay attention to everything he said, but she felt herself go cold and clammy. Sweat trickled down between her shoulders, her mouth went achingly dry and she had the feeling, for just a moment, that she might pass out. She forced herself to concentrate, to hear what he said, but she saw that he recognized the fear she was feeling.

He smiled, pleased with the results.

Paul waited in his car outside the gym. He considered himself a patient man, but Katryn was taking a very long time to dress. He did not want her to know he was waiting for her. They had had a nice day, were enjoying a pleasurable truce, and he did not want to do anything that might upset her.

Without turning his lights on, he pulled up to the front of the gym, and looked in through the glass doors. He recognized Katryn leaning up against the wall of the entry way talking to someone. It did not surprise him. After all, she seemed to know almost everyone in volleyball. She had either played on teams with them or against them, they were referees she had had in other leagues, or they were customers. Everywhere she went she ran into people she knew. And she always took time to see how they were doing.

Well, he would just wait, maybe not too patiently, though, until she was through.

"Didn't Tom tell you, Katryn? Didn't he even think to mention how often he's run into me?" he taunted. Fighting to regain control, she knew she had to keep him talking. It would give her time to think of how to get away from him.

"No, Tom never said anything. Where'd he run into you?"

"Oh, he's caught me following you after volleyball. It's why he never lets you walk out to your car alone. He knew I was there watching. Waiting." Her stomach roiled when she thought about him following her. She was not exactly winning her war of nerves.

"What is it you want, John?" she finally asked.

"Why Katryn, I want you, of course." He took a last step towards her and quickly reached for her arm. He locked onto her forearm and she was amazed by the strength in his hand.

"John, let go of me." She said it calmly. It scared her to see that he was no longer calm. He was becoming excited. The fear he saw in her eyes was turning him on.

"Let go of you? I have no intention of letting go of you. I've waited a long time for this." He moved closer still. His eyes were wide and darted from her face to her body. Suddenly he lurched forward and grabbed her other arm. Pinning her to the wall, he leaned against her and began to kiss her.

Sickened by his touch, Katryn fought hard to get away from him. She was able to pull her right arm loose when he tried to hold both her arms in one of his hands, freeing his other hand to reach for the front of her slacks. She slapped his face hard, leaving a hand print in white.

"You..." she did not hear what he said. She only felt the blow to the side of her face when he back-handed her.

"Hey! You!" The janitor shouted, coming back into the gym and seeing John hit Katryn. He rushed towards them, but Paul beat him to John.

Slamming open the gym doors, Paul rushed at John. Grabbing his hair and right arm from behind, Paul pulled John away from Katryn. Spinning John around, Paul connected with a hard right that sent John sprawling. He followed John, and when John tried to stand, Paul hit him again. He pulled John part-way up by the front of his coat, and slammed him with his fist again. Paul probably would have kept on hitting John if Katryn and the janitor had not pulled him off.

"I think he's got the point," the janitor told Paul. Katryn wondered if he, too, had been worried Paul would not stop.

"Don't come near her again," Paul told John. "I won't let anyone stop me the next time."

John's lip was swollen and bleeding, his right eye was swelling shut, and Katryn was sure his nose had been broken. Still, before he walked out the doors, he glanced back at Katryn and managed a sneer.

"See ya' around," he promised her. Paul would have gone after him if Katryn and the janitor had not both placed restraining hands on his arms.

"He's not worth going to jail for," the janitor told Paul. Then he turned to Katryn. Are you OK?"

Her hand covered her mouth, and tears glistened in her eyes, but she nodded. She whispered 'thanks', afraid if she said any more she would start to cry.

"Why don't you take her back into the women's locker room to freshen up," the janitor said, turning to Paul. "Leave when you're ready. Just be sure these doors close tight behind you when you go, OK?" Paul thanked him, and the janitor went back thru the double doors into the other gym.

Paul took Katryn in his arms and held her while she cried. When she was all cried out, he took her duffel bag in one hand, and with his other arm around her waist, he walked her back to the locker room.

He said nothing, waiting for her to speak, if she wanted. She washed her face with cold water, and then dried it with a paper towel. Paul sat on the nearest bench, watching her. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, relieved to see there was barely any mark left from where John had hit her. Smiling wryly, she turned to Paul.

"This is not what I mean when I ask someone to give me a hand!" she said, breaking the barrier of silence that had stretched between them. She walked over and sat beside Paul.

"Are you really all right?" he asked tenderly, touching her face lightly. "Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore," she admitted.

"You want to talk about it? It'll help," he prompted. She nodded, but it was a few minutes before she could start. He waited patiently.

She was able to tell him, then, everything John had said. How sick she had felt at the mention of her boys, and how she now worried if her boys were safe. When she was finished, Paul held her close again. He told her Tom had a friend on the police force, and they were watching her house pretty regularly, anyway. He suggested she call Audrey from the nearest phone and have her make sure the house was locked up tight.

Paul said all the right things, seemed to understand how scared she was, and appeared even angrier at John than she was; still she sensed something was not right. Finally she asked.

"Paul, have I done something wrong?" Startled by her question, he rushed to assure her she had not been at fault. Realizing he had misunderstood, she explained, "I meant, have I done something wrong to you?"

"Me?"

"Something's wrong, Paul. I can feel it. I'm just not sure what I..."

"It isn't you. It's me," he admitted, anger in his voice. "It was true that Tom knew John was following you. I knew, too." He rushed on so she could not ask any questions. "We decided not to scare you by telling you. Instead, Tom set up security, of sorts, around you. He never let you walk to your car alone after volleyball. The guard at the Flour Mill watched to see you got safely to your car after work. The owner of the Treasure Chest keeps an eye out for you. The neighbor across the street keeps an eye on your house. The police make extra runs down your street. Everyone everywhere keeps an eye on you. Everyone but me, that is. I sit and watch while that..."

"Paul, if you hadn't shown up when you did..."

"Shown up? Hell, I was sitting in my car watching him torment you. I sat right outside the front door and allowed him to..."

"You were outside?"

"I thought he was a friend of yours, and you were having a normal conversation. I didn't even catch on till he grabbed you and kissed you. By the time I got here, he'd already slapped you..." Katryn heard exactly how hard he was being on himself.

"Paul, if you hadn't been here, who knows what would have happened."

"The janitor would have done a better job."

"Be reasonable. John's stronger than he looks. He'd have hurt poor old Mr. Strosnick, probably seriously. Paul," she took his face in her hands and made him look at her. "Paul, he'd have hurt me, too, if you hadn't been there."

"I should have..."

"There was no way you could have known he wasn't just another acquaintance until he grabbed me. I owe you, Paul. Thanks." She reached her arms around him and held him tight. He held her close.

"I'm sorry Katryn," he finally said.

"I'm not," she answered.

"Do you still want to go to Kelly's?" he asked a few minutes later when he pulled away again.

She was worried about the boys. She asked Paul if he thought they would be OK, and he told her he was sure John would be off licking his wounds, that they could call the policeman across the street to keep an extra eye on her house, if she wanted. Then he assured her that if she wanted to go home, he understood, and he would follow her.

She did not want to be alone right now, to think about John, so she surprised him by telling him she would rather go to Kelly's. It took her just a minute to get her makeup on. This time she did not feel anywhere near as fresh as she had the last time she had walked out of the locker room, but at least she was ready to go.

"You know, there was a time I'd have given almost anything to get into the women's locker room," Paul teased while they walked through the gym and out the front door.

"I'll bet that was when you were in junior or senior high, a long time ago. Now you're so much older and wiser..."

"Ouch," he answered, then pretended to hobble with a cane while he walked her to her car. He followed her to Kelly's and they walked in together. "That's a lovely necklace," he told her, straight faced, when he saw she had remembered to put it back on.

"A very good friend gave it to me," she answered, squeezing his hand. When they walked into the lounge, after Katryn had made a quick call to Audrey, and her neighbor, Katryn and Paul were a respectable distance apart.

Paul had agreed not to tell anyone but Tom about John. Katryn was not ready for fifty questions, she explained. They decided they would say Katryn had left her car lights on, and Paul had helped her jump-start her battery.

Everyone was out on the dance floor when Paul and Katryn arrived, but Katryn recognized their coats on the back of the chairs, so they sat at the table and waited. No-one, not even Julie, questioned the dead battery excuse. Ed even found it funny.

"You mean the captain of the EVER READYs had a dead battery? It's a good thing it didn't happen during a game!"

They all joked awhile, and soon most everyone was dancing again. Katryn saw Paul walk out to the hallway with Tom, and she was only able to dance twice before the band took a break. When they were all back at the table again, Julie asked Katryn where she had gotten the beautiful necklace.

"From a very special friend. Today was my seven year anniversary with the store, so Dottie and Joe had a surprise party for me. A lot of the other shopkeepers and many of my customers came. There was punch, a lovely cake, and a huge card with so many signatures that there must have been forgeries!" she teased.

Larry asked a little about the store, and then the conversation moved on to other topics. Katryn could not bring herself to look at Paul, but she could almost feel his eyes on her, twinkling at how she had covered. When Katryn and Julie went to the ladies room together, Julie took a closer look at the necklace.

"It's beautiful," she enthused. "And it's perfect for you. You've always been into St. Patrick's day." Katryn tensed slightly, but Julie changed the subject abruptly. "Do you think Paul will ever ask me out?" she questioned her best friend. "I'm getting a little tired of Bill, and besides, Paul doesn't seem too jealous of him anymore. What do you think of Larry?" Julie changed directions almost faster than Katryn could keep up.

"If you're only being nice to Bill to make Paul jealous, maybe you ought to let Bill go. If Paul were the jealous type, I'd think he'd have shown it by now. Why don't you change your tactics a little? Try asking Paul to dance, if you want to dance with him. Do you think he knows you're interested?" Katryn hated these conversations with Julie. She felt guilty for her deceit. Besides, she wondered, why Julie bothered asking her for advice. It was not like she ever followed it, Katryn thought angrily. Realizing she was just worn out after the evening she had had, she tried to calm herself.

"Katryn, what do you think of Larry?" Julie repeated.

"He's nice. I enjoy dancing with him. But Julie, it doesn't seem to work to try to make Paul jealous."

"Well, yes, I know you're right. But are you interested in Larry?" Julie persisted.

"He does seem like a nice guy, so I guess I am." Then, suddenly, a thought occurred to Katryn. She asked, hopefully, "Why, Julie, do YOU like Larry?"

"Oh, no," Julie answered quickly. "I think he's a little stuck on himself, is all. I just wondered if you'd noticed."

"I guess I hadn't." Katryn admitted. "He's always been a perfect gentleman to me, and rather pleasant. He's also a very good dancer," she added.

"Hmmm," was all that Julie said, ending the conversation. They headed back out to the table, and the evening went fairly well.

Tom asked her for the first slow song, and when they were on the dance floor, he asked how she was doing. She admitted she was a little worried about her boys, that she was a little nervous that John was still out and around, but that she was doing OK.

"Do you want to press charges?" Tom asked.

"I don't think it'd do much good, do you? Even if they actually put him in jail for awhile, he'd be that much angrier when he got out. And thanks to Paul, he didn't get very far, anyway."

"Katryn, I'm sorry. I probably should have warned you."

"Tom, after all you did for me, don't you dare start feeling guilty. You have no reason to. Neither does Paul. I'm not naive, Tom. I know there's really no way anyone could stop John if he's determined to get me. Surely no-one could do more than you did. So now I'll be even more careful. But, Tom, you were right. It wouldn't have done any good to scare me before. Heck, I'd have spent the last three months a nervous wreck."

"And now?"

"Now I know there are LOTS of people looking out for me. I'll call the school Monday so they'll keep close tabs on the boys, too. Otherwise, you've taken care of it all. Thanks."

"You're really not upset I didn't tell you?"

"No. And I'll bet you probably did enough worrying for both of us. I'm only sorry it was so hard on you." They danced the next dance, too. It was another slow one, and Katryn did not even care that Anne was probably getting furious. It was the only time the whole night that she did not think about Paul.

Paul asked her to dance only twice all evening, and both of them were fast dances. She knew it was better that way, but oh how she wanted to be in his arms! It seemed so much safer there. It was tormenting her to be so close and not allowed to touch. Larry did dance wonderfully. It just was not the same as being in Paul's arms, of course.

Towards the end of the second set Anne asked if everyone was going to be able to go to Rockaway Beach. She also wanted to know what time they were leaving Friday, who all was driving, and when, approximately, they would be back on Sunday. Katryn had no idea what she was talking about, so Tom explained.

"We don't play volleyball next Friday, remember? This was the last week of league play. Paul has friends who own a hotel at Rockaway Beach, on the Oregon coast. He called them about getting away for the weekend. They said they'd give him a really good deal on a couple rooms if he wanted to bring some friends. He mentioned it Monday after practice. Most of us are planning to go, Katryn. Do you think you could get away? We'll go Friday after work and come home Sunday. We'll car-pool to save on gas."

"Oh, I don't know. I work Saturdays, and I'm not sure I could get a sitter for the whole weekend."

"You'll try, won't you?" Tom asked. Katryn wished he had not, when she glanced at Anne and saw the look on her face.

"I'll try," Katryn promised. She was not at all sure she would, though. It would be bad enough to spend the weekend on the ocean with Tom, knowing Anne would like to kill her. It would be even worse to spend the weekend with Paul and Julie knowing Julie would surely kill her if she guessed how Katryn felt about Paul.

She also worried about leaving the boys alone all weekend when John was still around. She felt queasy every time she remembered how he said her boys were nice. It did bother her a little, though, when she realized that that meant both Tom and Paul would be gone at the same time.

And of course, it would be pretty hard on her heart to spend an entire weekend watching Julie chase Paul. She decided it would be best if she did not try very hard, if at all, to get away. Katryn left after the third set, and Larry walked her to her car.

"Would I be allowed to join you at Rockaway Beach, Katryn? I know I'm not on your team, but I was hoping..."

"I think that'd be fine. You'd better check with Paul, though. You work with him, right?" When Larry nodded, Katryn explained. "I don't know anything about the trip, Larry. I don't know how many people can stay in the rooms, or if there's a limit on who can go. It's sure OK with me, but I'm not sure I'll even be able to go."

"You have to Katryn. It wouldn't be as much fun without you."

"Thanks. But I really don't think I'll be able to find a sitter AND someone to watch my store on Saturday."

"Can I call you Monday, or so, and see what you've found out?"

"Of course." She gave him a business card and told him he could call her at work. Then she left him, thinking it was sad that he did not appeal to her. He really was a nice man, definitely good looking. He danced like a dream, was sweet, gentlemanly, and most important of all, unattached. No, he would be too easy!

Monday afternoon Larry called. Katryn told him she had been unable to find a sitter for the weekend. What she did not tell him was she had not even tried. She had decided it would be too difficult to spend the weekend with Paul, even if there were 100 people around. Even if Julie were not around chasing him, it would be too hard to be that close and know he was not hers. Besides, it bothered her a lot that she was being dishonest with Julie. They had been friends so long, had been so close, it was tearing her up to keep lying. She was afraid to even talk much with her best friend, afraid she would let something slip. No, it was better she not go.

Monday night practice was not the team's best. Anne was none too nice to Katryn, and Paul seemed almost angry. Julie was not even there, and Ed could not play because he had hurt his foot playing football during the weekend.

Jim's team beat them 3 out of 5 games, and she heard his team commenting, more than once, that the best team had not won the league. Katryn's team never even took up the challenge in spite of the fact that they had won the league two matches ahead of Jim's team.

Even Denny's was no fun. Their usual waitress was off sick, so they could not kid with her. Tom made a point of asking Katryn if she would be going Friday, and Katryn thought Anne would like to shoot her. Paul flashed her a very ugly look when she said she had been unable to find a sitter, but Anne looked almost triumphant. Katryn left early and was sure everyone was glad. Tom walked her to her car, and she was relieved to know he was still watching out for her.

When Katryn got home, she relaxed in her recliner and opened the newspaper. She snapped forward in her chair when John's face stared back at her. MAN ARRESTED IN BEATING the headline shouted. Katryn quickly read through the article.

John had gone to an old girlfriend's house late Friday night. Katryn shivered when she realized it was just a couple hours after he had left the gym. He had beaten the woman pretty badly, according to the article, and then had stayed at her house the entire weekend, threatening to hurt her two year old daughter if she tried to escape. He had left for work early this morning, and she had rushed to the police. They arrested him, and there would be a hearing tomorrow over his bail.

The police were asking for information about a fight John had been in earlier Friday. He had bragged to the victim that he had beaten another woman before he had gotten to her house. The police wanted the first victim to come forward and sign a complaint, too.

Though it was after ten, Katryn called Dottie to see if she could open the store in the morning. She told her about John, and Dottie said she would be glad to do anything she could to help in any way to keep animals like him locked up.

Tuesday morning bright and early, Katryn arrived at the police station to talk to Officer Cates. While the officer agreed that John probably had not done enough to Katryn to bother with on its own, he explained that the judge might set a much higher bail if there were other complaints against John. Katryn told him she would do all she could to help keep John locked up, and Officer Cates told her he would be getting back to her.

When Katryn returned to work, she had a bit of a headache. Talking about John, even to the police, had reminded her of the threats he had made against her boys. She hoped they would lock him up for a good long time.

Dottie saw that Katryn was not feeling very well, so she offered to stay while Katryn rested a bit in the back room. Katryn had only been out in the shop for about a half hour when Paul showed up.

She glanced at her watch and saw it was 12:30 on the dot. She cringed when she saw the familiar 'going-to-battle' look on his face. After all they had been through on Friday; she was surprised that he was back to business as usual.

CHAPTER 10

It did not take Paul long to let her know why he was angry. He did not offer to eat first, fight later. After the waitress took their orders, he started.

"So, you were unable to find a sitter for the weekend?" The venom in his voice made her shudder.

"No," she answered.

"Funny. I almost get the feeling you're backing out on our deal."

"Our deal did NOT include Oregon," Katryn reminded him. "Please be fair."

"Fair has nothing to do with it. We had a deal. It included doing what the team does, and pretending to enjoy it." That was true. It WAS what she had agreed to.

"But I have a business to run, kids to take care of."

"Did you even try to work anything out?" he wanted to know.

"Yes, of course I tried," she knew she did not lie well, but she had to try.

"Who'd you talk to, Katryn?" he asked. She waited till the waitress served their salads and left before answering.

"I asked..."

"Stop it," he ordered. "I don't want to hear any more of your lies. The truth is, you did NOT ask Audrey or Dottie or Joe. We worked it out last Tuesday when Dottie had lunch with me. You didn't know she'd had lunch with me, did you?"

Her mind was racing a mile a minute. Worked it out? Without asking her? What exactly had he told Dottie? Even worse, what had Dottie told him? And who ran the store? He saw the surprise in her eyes, saw when she knew she had been caught.

"By the way," he added nonchalantly, "Joe took care of the store. Now, just so you know, Dottie worked it out with Audrey. Audrey will stay with the boys Friday after school until Saturday evening. Dottie and Joe will take the boys Saturday evening through Sunday evening. If you get in late, they'll keep the boys till Monday morning.

"There's no school next week, and Audrey said she was watching them during spring break anyway, so she'll go to your house when Dottie calls to say she's bringing the boys home Monday morning. Dottie will stay at work in the afternoon so you can take Ryan for his doctor's appointment."

Katryn was angry at herself for lying. She was even angrier at Paul for going behind her back to set it up.

"Who do you think you are, planning ..."

"I'll tell you who I am," he said coldly. "I'm the guy who'll ruin everything for you if you back out of our deal. You made a promise. I intend to see you keep it or I'll go to Julie."

"Go ahead," she challenged. "Go ahead and tell Julie. She wouldn't believe you. And if she did, well then I'll just explain ..."

"Explain who the special friend is who gave you that necklace? And if she had any doubts, maybe Timmy could tell her about Pizza dinner at your house. Oh, she'll believe me, Katryn, I assure you. And you'll lose her for a friend for sure. And what'll happen to your team, do you suppose? I've seen the looks Anne gives you. If she and Julie talk ... Of course Tom would probably ..."

"Leave Tom out of it!" she demanded. "All right. All right, damn you, you win. I'll go."

"And pretend you're enjoying yourself?" he goaded her.

"Oh, I'll more than pretend. Larry asked to go, or did you tell him no?" She did not know why that scored such a big point, but the fury in his eyes proved it did, so she continued. "Of course you probably told him he couldn't go. You'd hate to see me having a good time. What did you tell him?" she asked waspishly.

"I told Larry he was welcome to go," Paul said icily.

"How nice for me," she answered.

Nothing else was said during the course of the meal. Paul would never have let her know he now had misgivings about what he had done. And not for reasons she would suspect. First Bill had come to Paul to ask exactly whom Paul was interested in. Paul had said no-one.

"Then it's free sailing if I date someone on the team?" Bill persisted. "I don't want to step on toes." Paul had happily assured Bill he had free sailing.

Larry showed up next with the same question. Unable to tell Larry that he was interested in Katryn, Paul repeated what he had told Bill. Then he told Larry he was welcome to join them for the weekend. With Katryn hating him right now, and he had no doubts she hated him, he did not like the idea that he might be pushing Katryn into Larry's arms. He was too bull-headed to back down, though.

"We'll be meeting at the Safeway on third and Maple," he told her when lunch was finished. "I'm borrowing a minivan, and you'll ride with me. Julie is riding with me, too, so it'll work out ok. Be there by 5:30, Katryn. Dottie said she'd close the store for you so you can go home early and pack."

"Thank you very much for arranging this for me." Sarcasm oozed with every word. "I will see you Friday. May I go back to work now, Master?"

He would have smiled, but he was afraid she would throw something at him. Instead he nodded.

She left him at the door to her shop, never once looking back to see if he were watching. She hated him. Hated how stupid she was to think he could be kind. Hated how much she had liked him. Her only solace was in knowing that she would only see him one more week for volleyball. League play was the 31st, and then her team quit for the summer.

Most of them were on the same softball team. But Paul had not been invited to play on that team. Since Katryn was the captain, she knew he would not be.

Dottie came up to Katryn after her lunch.

"Did Paul tell you we fixed it so you could go to Rockaway Beach?"

"He did," Katryn admitted. She would not hurt her friend's feelings for the world. "And, thanks a lot, Dottie. I owe you and Joe so much already..."

"Don't be silly. The boys are like our own grandsons, anyway. You wouldn't want to deny us one weekend alone with them, would you?"

"And you don't mind running the store Saturday, all alone?" Katryn asked, praying for an out.

"Joe's going to help. I won't be alone. And listen, we plan to open Monday, so if you're late..." Darn.

"Dottie, you'll spoil me! But I doubt I'll be that late anyway."

"Never can tell," Dottie warned her, winking.

If you only knew, Katryn thought. She realized, though, that Dottie was into everything romantic because of Joe, and she obviously liked Paul. It did not make it any easier for Katryn to know that Dottie thought she was doing her a big favor.

'Oh Dottie, I do love you. But you've no idea what you're doing,' Katryn mused.

Friday rolled around much quicker than Katryn had wanted. And it was not bad enough that she would hate the weekend, but she had had to hear over and over from Dottie, Joe, and especially her sons, how much they were all looking forward to it.

No miracle had happened that would save her, so at 5:00 Katryn drove to Safeway. She arrived early, and was not surprised to see Paul was already there. She gave him her suitcase and overnight bag, and got on the minivan way in the back. Tom showed up next.

"Katryn, Julie called and said she can't come. Something came up. She'll explain later. By the way, I spoke to a friend at the police department. Seems John will be locked up for quite some time. Once his face hit the paper, a few more women showed up to press charges. Seems one of them even had to go to the hospital. She'd have pressed charges sooner, but she'd not known what his name was. Met him at a bar, and he attacked her when he walked her out to her car. I'm told you won't have to worry about him being out for a long, long time."

"Larry may not be able to make it," Paul remembered when Katryn said Julie was not coming. "He said he'd try, but if he's not here by 5:30, we're to leave without him. He said he'll drive down later if he misses us," he added. Then Paul said, "I had nothing to do with it, honest."

Though surprised Paul had felt the need to add that last bit, Katryn merely nodded and then got back on the van. Katryn was actually relieved Julie was not coming. It did not bother her that Larry might not make it. Though she had told Paul she would have a good time with Larry, the truth was, he made her a little uncomfortable. She never had believed in using one guy to make another guy jealous. And, besides, she was afraid Larry might like her. She hated having to tell someone she was not interested.

Bob and Mary showed up, and Katryn was sorry to hear they were driving down in their own car. They planned to follow Paul. Katryn wished they would ride with the others in the van. Not only because she liked Mary, but because she was afraid it might be very uncomfortable spending hours in the van when the only other woman in it hated her.

Bob and Mary's minds were made up, however, and Katryn did not dare ask to ride with them. Paul would probable kill all three of them, she decided. Ed and Ken arrived last.

Paul checked all the tires again, and then started to fiddle with the van. It was after 5:30 when Katryn realized what he was doing. Getting out of the van, she headed over to where Paul was checking the rear tire. She gently touched his arm.

"You don't need to wait for Larry," she told Paul when he turned around. "He's a big boy. Let's get this show on the road." He nodded and followed her back to the van closing the door behind her. While Paul never actually admitted to waiting for Larry, he immediately got in the driver's seat and they headed out.

Though she teased Ken and Ed about not bringing their girl friends, and about how uneven the odds were, she was really glad that they had not brought dates. Had everyone been paired up, that would have left her with Paul and she could not have handled that.

As it was, the seating worked out well. Tom and Anne sat in two of the three back seats, Ed and Katryn sat in the middle two, and Ken sat up front with Paul. One cooler was placed on the third back seat, and one was on the floor beside Ed. They were quite comfortable, and everything was handy. Katryn had to admit that space-wise, it was better that Bob and Mary had taken their own car.

The trip down was long, but a lot of fun. They talked volleyball, at first, but eventually they got into telling jokes. Clean jokes, not-so-clean jokes, sick jokes, things that were only funny because they had been laughing too long.

Katryn had never realized how much fun Ed could be. She should have figured a disc jockey could be entertaining, she supposed, but Ed had never been so funny before. And she was discovering what a great sense of humor Ken had. She was a little sorry she had not gotten to know her team better before this. Sitting next to Tom, Anne actually was more like her old self, and she told jokes, too.

When they finally pulled into Rockaway Beach, they were all exhausted both from the laughing, and from the late hour. Anne was too tired to be angry with Katryn.

Paul went to the office and got the keys. The women packed their gear into one huge room, and the men took the room next door. The men teased about how unfair it was. After all, there were only three women in the one room while five men had to share the other. Ed offered to make the odds even, but the women quickly, and resolutely, booted him out.

Their rooms were on the second floor, and Katryn could hear and smell the ocean from the porch. Anne was too tired, so Katryn talked Mary into taking a quick walk to the ocean. They were a block away, and Katryn had to go see it up close. Mary was as anxious as she was, so they headed off.

It was dark. A full moon shone off to their right, and there was a mist rolling in from the ocean. Street lamps lighted their way. When they got to the beach, they saw numerous campfires dotting the beach. The tide was coming in, and even this late at night a few brave souls ran to and from the water as each wave reached inland.

The sound of the waves crashing around them all but drowned out any other sounds. Katryn and Mary stood mesmerized on a little knoll above the sandy beach.

Katryn had no idea how long they had been there, nor when the men had joined them. She sensed, though, that she and Mary were no longer alone. Turning, she acknowledged the presence of Bob and Paul.

After awhile Bob asked Mary if she were warm enough. He rubbed her shoulders for her, and Katryn felt a sudden sense of loss. To share something as beautiful as the ocean with someone you love must be the nearest thing to heaven, she bet. Anyway, she knew that not being able to share it with Paul was heart breaking.

Katryn shivered a little, and Paul mentioned it was a bit chilly. They headed back to the motel for hot chocolate. Everyone crashed shortly thereafter. They all seemed eager to see the ocean early the next morning.

Katryn slowly became aware of the low roar of the ocean rushing to shore. Betting she was the only one awake, she quietly slipped into the bathroom and changed into a sweat suit. She grabbed her jacket on her way out, and silently headed for the shore.

It was still fairly dark. The sun had barely cleared the horizon, and the mist hung heavy around her. Still, it was beautiful. She knew there were most likely many other visitors on the beach, but she could not see anyone else through the heavy mist that shrouded her.

She found a large log on the shore and was glad she had a long, waterproof jacket to sit on. The log was damp, but otherwise it was comfortable. Katryn watched the waves rushing towards her, racing each other, crashing over each other, and was hypnotized by the watching and the listening. She had been told about the roar of the waves, but until now she had never heard it. It was loud - almost deafening - but not noisy. Not abrasive. It was calming.

She watched the ocean slowly receding. It was deceiving watching each wave rush to shore, buckling over the wave that preceded it. Though the waves were pushing to shore, it slowly became obvious that each must be breaking faintly short of the wave before it. The beach grew slowly while the ocean receded.

Katryn had time to think about Paul, and Julie. While she started out a bit angry at how Paul had arranged the weekend, how he had forced her to be here, she no longer could remain upset with him. The ocean was fantastic. The trip down had been a lot of fun, and after all, it was not his fault how she felt about him. Nor was it fair to blame him for how the situation had ended up.

It had warmed up a little. The mist had lifted considerably and the sun was quite visible off to her left when Paul joined her.

"Been here long?" he asked, sitting down on the log beside her.

"I don't really know," she admitted, surprised to see how high the sun now was. "It's so beautiful, so calming, that I've lost all sense of time." They sat silently for a while before Paul spoke.

"Katryn, I'm sorry for what I said ..."

"No, don't apologize. Please. I don't blame you. It's just the situation. It's not easy. Sometimes I forget it's no easier for you than it is for ..."

"Mind if I join you?" Ed asked, not realizing he was interrupting anything important.

"Of course not. There's plenty of room." Katryn offered moving away from Paul to make more room. Tom joined them soon afterward, and the four of them sat quietly watching the waves. It was the closest Katryn had felt to anyone in a long time, sitting silently sharing the ocean.

Eventually Ken came and broke the spell. He told them breakfast was on. He, Anne, Mary and Bob had bacon eggs, toast and hotcakes ready. Katryn was happy to see that none of them appeared to be in a big hurry to leave. They did, eventually, follow Ken back to their motel.

After a delicious breakfast, Katryn, Ed, Tom, and Paul did dishes. They also had to promise to cook supper. Everyone agreed to fix their own lunches whenever they were hungry.

After breakfast they split up into groups to do some sight-seeing. Mary and Bob wanted to look at antiques. Katryn talked Ken and Ed into going to look for kites with her. Anne and Tom decided to do a little souvenir hunting, and Paul was invited to join them.

The morning went quickly. Katryn bought a box kite while Ken got a huge one shaped like a bird. Ed eventually settled on a conventional kite with a beautiful hot air balloon design. The three of them assembled, and then spent the morning flying, their kites. It seemed to be quite a fad, and there were hundreds of colorful kites dotting the skies above the ocean. The winds took the kites up quickly, and Katryn was having a wonderful time with hers. It had been years since she had flown a kite. She vowed she would bring the boys for a week in the summer. She had never taken a week off before, but she knew she could now, with Dottie and Joe to help.

Tom, Anne, and Paul took a turn with the kites next. Katryn could not decide if watching the kites, or the waves, was more intoxicating.

She tried to imagine flying with the kites, feeling the wind in her face, hearing the waves splash to shore, watching the ocean as it undulated out of sight. She felt light as a feather, unrestrained by cares, as free as the gulls that winged their noisy way above her.

In fact, she imagined their squawks of enjoyment to be similar to raucous noises children made when set free on the playground after a few hours of orderly classes. She felt she could understand the gulls, even answer them back.

Tom tapped her shoulder, and the feeling was gone. Regretfully she turned to her friend. When she looked she saw that the kites had been brought back down to earth, and everyone was ready to head to the motel for lunch. Katryn glanced once more towards the gulls before turning to join the others.

She caught Paul's eye. For just a split second she was sure she could see gulls flying there. She wondered if he felt the wind, too. Disappointed because she dare not ask, she fell in behind the others.

Paul touched her shoulder lightly, and before she could turn he whispered quietly in her ear.

"I hope you'll teach me how to do that someday." Then he walked past her and began to talk to Tom.

It should not surprise her; she told herself, that he seemed to know what she was thinking. He was more thoughtful than any man she had ever dated. He was the kind of man who would think to bring a nerf ball to a soccer player with a broken arm, who would serve punch for hours at a birthday party for a store, who would at least try to be friends when they both wanted so much more.

They ate sandwiches, munched a few veggies and dips, and then hurried back to the ocean. Katryn was relieved that the others seemed in a hurry to return to the ocean, too.

Katryn let Tom and Anne have her kite for the afternoon, and she headed out towards the waves. The sand stretched for miles to either side, and it seemed at least a mile out to the waves. With the tide out, Katryn could enjoy the feel of the firm damp sand beneath her feet. She took off her shoes and headed towards the water.

"Isn't it a little cold for that? March isn't known for its heat!" Paul asked pointing at the shoes slung over her shoulder.

"Not really. The sun's warmed the sand. Give it a try."

Paul removed has shoes and was surprised by how warm the sand was for this time of year. Ken and Ed joined them, though they preferred wearing shoes. Katryn reached the edge of the water and let a wave splash over her feet. Startled, she jumped back quickly.

"Wow. Not at all warm!" she laughed.

Paul was not foolish enough to try the water and when Katryn teased all three of them about being afraid of the nice warm water, Ken and Ed beat a hasty retreat to the very dry land. When they were out of range, Katryn took a quick minute to talk to Paul.

"You know I wouldn't have come if you hadn't forced me." He nodded, and she continued. "Well, I'm glad you did. This is ... beautiful ... awesome ... it's beyond words. I never knew what I was missing before. Now I'd like to stay forever. I'm going to bring the boys this summer."

"They'll like that," he agreed. "I can see them chasing the waves." Katryn nodded.

"There are no words that can describe how this makes me feel. Happy? Contented? At peace? None of them fit THIS." She stretched her arm out to encompass everything. They were silent for awhile before she asked. "You like it here, too don't you?" He nodded. "It's another world here on the beach. All new sights and sounds and smells. Like being in Never Land, I suspect. It makes me feel like I'm in a place where the past doesn't matter and the future won't come crashing through. Suspended in time, where rules don't count. Where the tide rolls in and erases every yesterday, starting every today with a clean slate."

"A place where love can live hidden from the real world? A place where I can say out loud that I love you?" Paul asked, understanding what she meant.

"A place where I can say I love you and it won't hurt," she agreed. And while they were not free to show they loved each other in any other way, it was quite visible to each in the other's eyes. Wanting the day to never end, she asked, "Do you suppose we could have a campfire tonight?"

"We'd better look for some wood before it gets dark, then," Paul suggested. They went back to where Ken and Ed stood, and the four of them walked along the beach for at least a mile picking up pieces of driftwood. They ended up back at the log they'd sat on that morning and dropped what wood they had collected.

Bob and Mary found them on the beach, and regaled them with stories of all the great antiques they had found. Eventually everyone headed back to the motel, taking their driftwood with them. Katryn was amazed to realize it was time to fix supper. Food was on the table when Tom and Anne finally joined them.

"Anne had this great idea that we should have a fire on the beach," Tom started to explain, chuckling. "So we bought a few presto logs. Imagine our surprise to see all the driftwood outside our doors!"

Paul teased Katryn and Anne about how great minds think alike, and everyone hurried through a very enjoyable meal. They ate quickly in spite of how good the food, and company was. They were all looking forward to a campfire on the beach.

While the others were doing dishes, Katryn helped Paul, Tom and Ed carry the wood down to the beach. Paul had the fire burning brightly before the others showed. Anne, Mary, Bob and Ken had hurried, too, making quick work of the dishes.

With the fire blazing, Katryn found herself between Tom and Ed, on the same log she had claimed earlier that morning. Everyone watched Paul add another piece of driftwood to the fire.

"Cozy?" Anne asked cattily, walking past Katryn.

"The fire is warm," Katryn admitted, ignoring Anne's tone. "And this team is a pretty nice group to share it with." Mary, probably the only other person who understood what had just transpired, winked at Katryn before she agreed.

"They are a pretty nice group of guys, and I'm glad we got this chance to get to know each other better."

Bob was being especially quiet while the guys kidded about what a good bunch they were. Katryn wondered if he felt a little left out because he was not a member of their team.

"And, Mary, Bob's not at all what I expected. I mean, after all you've said... well I'm surprised how NICE he is!" Bob smiled at Katryn, and Mary gave her another wink before she pretended to defend herself.

"Wait a minute. What do you mean..."

"Nice goin'," Tom whispered in Katryn's ear, elbowing her lightly and nodding his head toward Bob. Bob was having quite a time listening to the team tease Mary. Katryn got a quick glimpse of Anne's face and wished Anne could understand she and Tom were just friends. Mary, hoping to help alleviate that problem, started talking about how sports had brought her together with some of her closest friends.

"Is that how you met Bob?" Tom asked.

"As a matter of fact, yes. A softball team. 10, no 12 years ago."

"Alright Katryn, that does it!" Ed teased. "I want more single YOUNG women on the softball team."

"Thanks, ED, makes me feel about 100," Katryn said, and Mary threw an imaginary rock at him.

"Yeah, Ed. How old DO you think we are?"

"Do you guys play softball?" Paul quickly jumped in to save his teammate.

"Yep," Tom answered. "That's why we don't play another season of volleyball; they overlap. Do you play softball?" he wanted to know.

"I do. It's been a couple years, but I've played. Are there any openings?"

"I don't ..." Katryn started, but got no further.

"Katryn, didn't Steve and Neta move to California? And I think we all agreed not to include Brian this year, so we do have a few openings. Heck, Paul, if you know a couple YOUNG single women to bring with you, we could even keep Ed happy." The women booed and hissed Tom.

"Now you're talking," Ed added.

"Only if you share," Ken argued.

The campfire was very cozy. Katryn left the log and was immediately replaced by Anne. Bob and Mary sat together with Bob massaging Mary's shoulders for awhile. Ed started teasing about having no-one to give him a massage, so Katryn knelt behind him and started to massage his neck.

"Not too bad for an older lady, I hope," she kidded.

"No, the arthritis doesn't seem to be affecting your fingers much at all," he countered.

"You're really cruel, you know. I don't know why I'm doing this for a young pup who can't appreciate it."

"Because all the old dogs are taken?" he teased, not knowing he was hitting a raw nerve.

"All right, who's next?" Katryn asked teasing and lightly pushing Ed away.

"Me." Ken volunteered, moving in front of her.

"Not fair," Bob told Ken. "It's Katryn's turn, next." Paul quickly took advantage of the situation by moving behind Katryn.

"I'll do hers, Ken, but your arms shouldn't be idle either. Come on, Anne, put Ken to work on your back," he instructed. Soon all eight of them were in a circle massaging the shoulders of the person in front of them. They laughed and joked, and once or twice the ladies slapped the men's backs over the worst jokes.

Katryn had a hard time concentrating on Ken. It felt so good having Paul so close, feeling his touch even through her jacket.

When Mary told everyone to switch, Katryn was only slightly disappointed. She massaged Paul's shoulders, feeling his muscles through the thick knit sweater he wore. She could feel how tight they were when she began and how they slowly began to relax.

When everyone's' hands were worn out, Bob called halt. The fire was nearly out, and they spent the last few minutes enjoying the warmth from the embers as well as the closeness of teammates who seemed much more like friends now. Katryn stood up first and got the bucket Paul had brought.

"I'll get the water while you guys scatter the logs," she explained, heading towards the ocean. She took her time. Only Tom and Paul were there when she got back. Paul took the bucket from her and dumped the water on the embers.

"One more bucket should do it." Katryn told him, taking the bucket again and heading back towards the ocean.

"It's fine, Katryn, we don't need any more water. The tides coming in anyway, and there's nothing that could catch on fire, here." Paul called to her. She kept walking.

"No sense arguing, Paul. You know how she is. I'll wait for her, if you'd like," Tom offered.

"No. I'll go help her. She'll be sopping wet and freezing cold if she spends too much time trying to fill the bucket from the waves." He turned and followed Katryn. Tom smiled and headed back towards the motel.

Paul caught up with Katryn as she got to the edge of the water. The moon was high above her, and her silhouette was black against the moon-sprinkled ocean. He watched her as she stood still, looking out to sea. Slowly he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. It was a long time before either of them spoke.

"It's so lovely here," Katryn told him. "And there's so much magic. Everything, everyone is so different. For a while even Anne was a part of it. Can't you feel it?"

"Yes I can," he said, turning her to him. She looked into his eyes and saw how the moon shone in them. She saw the sparkle from deep within. He said nothing as he lowered his lips to hers. It was soft and gentle, this kiss, and it conveyed all he felt for her. He pulled her close into his arms and bent his head so he could whisper in her ear.

"How can this be wrong?" he asked. "How can what we feel be wrong?" She could not answer him. She had no answer. It felt so ... right. Finally he pulled away "They'll be waiting for us in the motel," he told her. "Tom's making hot cocoa." They walked back, hand in hand.

Tom had a few presto logs burning, and everyone was enjoying hot chocolate when Paul and Katryn arrived. Bob headed out to the kitchen to fix them some, and Katryn stopped inside the door to remove her wet shoes.

"You must be frozen!" Mary exclaimed, seeing her wet pant legs as well. "I'll go grab a pair of your sweats. You get in the bathroom and get those wet clothes off." Paul was surprised to see Katryn was wet up to her knees.

"Anne, grab a dry towel, will you?" Tom asked. He pulled the recliner in front of the fire place. In just a couple of minutes, Katryn was in dry sweats on the recliner in front of the fire, with her feet wrapped in a towel. She shivered a little, and saw the scowl on Paul's face.

'Knowing him, he blames himself!' she thought, amused by the implication she was not big enough to take care of herself. The chair was comfortable and the fire was warm. She was soon lost in memories of being held by Paul. She was staring at the fire, not paying attention to the conversation.

"What do you think, Katryn? Do you agree with Paul or Anne?" Mary asked.

"I wasn't listening," she admitted. "Agree with what?"

"Anne says it isn't possible for a man and a woman to be good friends..."

"Unless they're married. The sex issue interferes," Anne interrupted.

"Paul says it is possible, and maybe even better than same sex friends since there's no competition," Mary finished.

"I guess I'd agree it's quite possible with opposite sex friends. I'm not sure if it's a better friendship than with same same-sex friends, though. I think it depends on the friend," Katryn explained.

"Oh, come now," Paul goaded. "Don't you think that, for instance, two men who were good friends would end up enemies if they found they were both attracted to the same woman?"

"No," Katryn defended her position. "Sure you'd want to set up a few rules. For instance, Julie and I never date the same guy. The first one who's interested gets him. We've been best friends for over 10 years and it's worked for us."

"And it's always worked out perfectly! Well, how nice. But Katryn, just suppose, for the sake of arguing of course, that Julie was dating a guy she only sort of liked. Then say maybe Julie brings the guy to meet you and the minute you two look into each other's eyes, lights flash..."

"Surely you aren't saying you believe in love at first sight?" Katryn interrupted.

"Do you?" he asked. Katryn felt everyone's eyes on her. She glanced at Mary and saw that Mary was beginning to understand. Coming to Katryn's rescue, Mary answered.

"I don't know about love at first sight, but it definitely didn't take long for Bob and me."

"I believe in love at first sight," Tom admitted. "Do you Paul?" Katryn felt she owed Mary and Tom the world. She listened intently when Paul answered.

"I do. I not only believe in love at first sight, I believe certain people are destined to be together. But back to my premise, Katryn. What would happen if you fell in love with a guy Julie was dating?" Pretending to be casual about Paul's 'imaginary' situation, Katryn answered.

"I guess I'd never tell her..."

"But surely..."

"No, let me finish. I wouldn't tell her because knowing would hurt her. And either way, whether she knew or not, I wouldn't date a guy she liked..."

"It would be that easy for you to walk away?"

"Easy? No. But then, isn't part of being a friend, a good friend, being willing to make some sacrifices for your friend? And Julie and I have been friends for ten years. She's been there for me whenever I needed it. She's made sacrifices for me. Doesn't a friendship, a relationship, necessarily mean giving as well as taking?"

Ed, a little surprised at how vehement Katryn was becoming, changed the direction slightly.

"You and Julie have been best friends for a long time. Do you have any male friends you're that close to? And who do you think makes the better friend?"

"I consider Tom a very close friend, to answer your first question. Who's the better friend? I have to admit that that's a tough one. There's pro's to each. For instance, Julie has a better understanding of things I've been through because she's been there, too. But if I want to see the other side of a problem, I go to a male friend. Tom's listened to my problems, and given me some pretty good advice, for a long time now. I'd hate to think of what it would've been like if I hadn't had him to go to. And another thing, sometimes, especially when you're dating and things aren't going well, you can really get down on the opposite sex. Having Tom to talk to reminds me that not all guys are... well, whatever."

Anne was getting angrier by the second.

"Do you become friends with all the men on your teams?" she blurted out.

"No," Katryn answered, taken aback but not allowing herself to get upset. "Not everyone makes a good friend no matter what sex they are."

"By the way, why exactly did you quit the other team you were on? Couldn't find enough friends?" The emphasis Anne placed on friends left no doubt in anyone's mind what she meant. Everyone held their breath waiting for Katryn's reply. Tom, without the others seeing, nodded slightly to Katryn. She shook her head so slightly, only he saw.

"I quit the team, Anne, because it was not a fun team..."

"I'll bet," Anne said nastily. Katryn ignored her and continued.

"I'd played against that team before and had noticed it wasn't always friendly. Once I got on the team, I saw how bad it was. Every season the team seemed to pick out one player they didn't like. It didn't matter, as far as I could make out, how well or how poorly this person played. In fact, in this case the person was the best player on the team. There was neither rhyme nor reason why they chose this player to pick on. But once the person was chosen, they made life hell for him or her. Every point lost was that person's fault. His or her sets weren't high enough, hits weren't good enough. They belittled this person in front of other teams, and made comments about this person during every game. I play sports for the fun. I saw no reason for the abuse this team heaped on the person they chose to hate, and it definitely was not fun for me, so, at the end of the season, I left."

"Do you think we don't know the person was you? 'Best player on the team!" she mimicked cruelly. "You think you're so good, don't you..."

"Anne!" Tom cut her off.

"It's ok Tom, let her finish," Katryn told him, not allowing it to bother her.

"That's right, Tom, let her finish," Anne mocked, rushing on. "Well maybe they didn't like you because you're not really as good as you think. Or maybe they got tired of you chasing all the men..."

"That's enough!" Paul commanded.

"Sure, you'll defend her, too. You're both so blind." Turning towards Katryn she added, "Why do you need defended, Katryn, are you afraid of the truth?" Katryn raised her hand to stop Tom and Paul. Anne continued. "Has it ever dawned on you that YOU could be the problem and NOT everybody else? You quit that team, because you couldn't get along with your teammates. John was dumped because you couldn't get along with him..."

"That's not true, Anne. We all wanted him out," Mary interrupted the tirade.

"I never wanted him out. The rest of you talked me into it because you all went along with Katryn. And now Brian won't be invited back for softball. Katryn only wants men who'll fawn all over her like Tom and Paul. Well I'm sick of it." Anne rushed out of the motel room.

"I'll go talk to her," Tom offered, starting to the door, but Katryn was there first.

"Her problem is with me, Tom. I'm the one she needs to talk to. Please let me see if the two of us can work it out." Katryn headed out the door after Anne. When she was gone, Tom turned to talk to the others.

"I want to set the record straight on one thing." He walked over to the fire and warmed his hands for a minute. No one spoke, or moved. "The person who was belittled on that team six years ago wasn't Katryn. In fact, she was the fair-haired athlete who could do no wrong. I know because I joined the team that same season she did. I hadn't played in over a year, but Katryn kept assuring me I was doing fine. Who knows how well I was really doing, though. Anyway, it was me they picked on. Katryn defended me the entire season. I was surprised, at first. She was the top player and well liked, but the rest of the team obviously did not appreciate her coming to my defense. After I got to know Katryn I realized it was just the way she was.

"At the end of the season, I wasn't even surprised to find they wanted her to stay in spite of how she'd defended me. I was ready to quit sports altogether. Of course, Katryn wouldn't allow it. She called the parks department for names of people who wanted to join a team, and built a new one from scratch. That's how the EVER READYs came about."

"Tom, did you ever know why they picked on you?" Mary asked. He surprised them by answering,

"Yes, I knew. Katryn never asked why, though, and I doubt she ever found out. The captain, a woman named Marge, really liked me. At first I was flattered. Except, I wasn't interested. She wasn't very subtle about how she felt, and in fact became pretty persistent about our having a relationship. She got drunk after one practice and asked me to walk her to her car. She invited me home with her, and was pretty explicit about what she'd do when we got there. I was polite, but I made it plain I wasn't interested, and I walked away. She never forgave me. She started the abuse; the rest of the team joined her. They were probably glad she hadn't picked any of them to abuse."

Paul knew, without having to ask, why Tom had not been interested in Marge, and why he had never told Katryn. He wondered, again why Tom seemed to like him.

"Do you think Anne will quit the team?" Ed wondered aloud.

"She's pretty upset," Mary agreed. "But don't count her out yet. Let's see what Katryn can do."

"Do you think Katryn wants her to stay, after this ... after all she said?"

"Yeah, I do," Mary admitted. "Anne just got a little upset. She's still a darn good player, and really a pretty decent person. And if I know Katryn, she'll give Anne a break." The conversation changed, and Katryn would have been embarrassed, yet pleased, to hear how highly her teammates thought of her.

Katryn caught up with Anne on the beach.

"Anne, please listen to me."

"To your lies? Leave me alone." Katryn took hold of Anne's arm and turned the angry woman towards her.

"Anne, think for a minute. I've known Tom for five long years. If I'd wanted him, I could have gone for him a long time ago."

"Instead you just string him along, right?" Anne accused.

"String him along?"

"Don't play stupid, Katryn. Don't pretend you don't know he's been in love with you for years. Don't think for a minute I'm stupid enough to believe that."

Katryn felt like she had taken a blow to the stomach. The wind whooshed out of her and she felt she would double over with the pain. What had Paul said? Something about getting in line behind Tom. The pain would not let up. Anne continued.

"You never let him go completely, did you? You just tug on his string and he yo-yo's back to you. I thought when Paul showed up you'd fall for him and finally let Tom go. But no, you kept Tom hanging on. You wanted both of them. Or maybe Paul doesn't want you, is that it Katryn?" Anne seemed surprised by that thought. "What's the matter, Katryn, are you afraid to let Tom go in case Paul doesn't work out? And when this team starts giving you what you deserve, do you really think Tom will go with you to start another one?" She stopped to consider before she added, "Well, if he's that blind, he deserves you," she spat the words at Katryn.

Katryn had heard nothing Anne said after the part about Tom being in love with her. She did not notice Anne had stopped yelling. Nor did she notice that Anne had pulled loose from her grip and had torn off down the beach.

CHAPTER 11

Tom is in love with me? Katryn tried to deny it, but the empty, lonely, painful feeling that had enveloped her told her it was true. She realized with sickening clarity that Paul had seen it. In line behind Tom. In line behind Tom. The phrase repeated itself to mock her. In line behind Tom.

'Oh Tom, how could I?' she asked herself. If she was unable to handle a few weeks of being in love with Paul, knowing he could not be hers, how had Tom managed for five years? Why had she never seen it? How could she have done that to him?

Paul found her there sitting on her log looking out towards the ocean.

"It's pretty chilly to be out here without your coat," he mentioned, wrapping his coat around her shoulders. "Are you ok?" he asked, kneading her shoulders through the coat. She shrugged. She was spent. She had no energy to even answer him.

Paul walked around in front of her. He knelt down and slipped a pair of lined boots on her bare feet. He stood and pulled her up towards him.

"You're freezing." He pulled her closer and began to rub her back briskly. Katryn was only faintly aware he was even there. Her mind continued to reel with what she had done to Tom for all those years. Her best friend and she had hurt him worse than any enemy ever could.

"Katryn, Katryn put your arms around me. It'll warm you up." Paul was getting worried when she continued to ignore him. He took her chin in his hand and raised her face to his. "Katryn, look at me. Are you ok? What did Anne say to you?" Katryn finally saw Paul, and pulled quickly away from him. She felt much too much guilt.

"Paul, please go away. I can't take anymore." He saw the raw pain in her eyes. "I was wrong. This place isn't magic. It hurts here, too. Julie's my best friend, for God's sake. Please don't," she begged. He stepped back.

"If that's what you want."

"It is." She sat down again on the log, staring at the full moon that grinned mockingly, at her.

Paul had told Tom he would go see how the girls were. When he came back alone, Tom knew something was wrong. After a couple quick words with Paul, he headed out. He found Katryn were Paul said she would be.

"Katryn, where's Anne?" he asked.

"I think she went that way," Katryn pointed towards where Anne had gone. Tom sat down beside Katryn.

"Are you ok?" he asked tenderly. She shook her head and the tears spilled from her eyes.

"Tom, is it true? Are you in love with me?" She stared at the moon, unable to look at him. He paused before he answered.

"I was for a long time..."

"I never knew ..."

"I know you didn't," he told her, taking her hand in his. "At first I tried to make you notice me. Remember when I asked you out to dinner the first time?"

"You said it was a thank you for my defending you on Marge's team."

"It was, sort of. I hoped, though, that you would begin to notice me if you saw me off the court. Do you remember what we talked about?" She admitted she did not remember. He chuckled softly when he reminded her.

"We talked about being single and dating. I thought you might even be subtly trying to tell me you were a little bit interested in me, and I got my hopes up. That's when you told me you had a good friend I'd like."

"Julie." Katryn supplied the name. "Tom I never meant to hurt you."

"You never even suspected how I felt. I knew that. It was frustrating at first. There were times I wanted to shake you and force you to see me. There was even a time it got to be too much for me. Do you remember the season, the second season for the EVER READYs when I quit?"

"Yes," she said, a sickening feeling washing over her. "You said it was because..."

"Because of work at the museum. It was a lie, Katryn. I really quit because I thought I'd burst if I had to keep seeing you, feeling how I did."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, turning to face him.

"I wanted to, at first. I even had planned to confront you and force you to decide. Either you'd give me a chance, or I'd quit the team. Luckily reason won out before I made a complete fool of myself. I couldn't do that to you, especially after all you'd done for me. So I just quit. I came to realize that season I was off, though, that being away from you was even worse. It meant I didn't have to see you as often, of course, but I still felt the same about you. Only I no longer even had your friendship. I lost a love I never had, and I lost a good friend in the bargain. I decided then, that I cared enough for you that I'd take whatever you offered. And you offered me friendship."

"So you came back and I walked all over you," she offered lamely.

"No. Don't ever think that. I really did value our friendship. You've been a great friend to me. I only hope I've been at least that good of a friend to you."

"Much better than I, obviously." When he tried to argue, she cut him off. "Tom," she needed to know, "How did you manage? If you were in love with me and I only offered friendship back, didn't it hurt?"

"Yes. Especially at first. But over time it got better," he admitted. "It was worth the friendship in the long run, Katryn," he told her, turning her to look and him. "I'm not sorry."

"Did you hate me?"

"Never," he assured her. "I eventually came to the realization that if we'd been lovers and it hadn't worked, we'd have probably lost the friendship, too. This way I got a pretty good friend out of the deal."

"Good friend? Friends don't hurt..."

"Katryn, I knew you would never hurt me on purpose. You had no way of knowing. It wasn't your fault." He bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You've known me for a long time, Tom," she asked, after a moment. "Do you think I can do what you did?"

"Paul?"

She broke down. With tears cascading down her face, she told Tom everything. The rules she had made for Paul. How Julie felt, how she and Paul felt, the lunches, the necklace, even the dance. He waited until she had cried herself out before he spoke.

"Katryn, if you and Paul love each other, Julie will understand. And if she doesn't, then she wasn't much of a friend, anyway."

"How can you say that, Tom?" she asked incredulously. "You didn't tell me how you felt. You decided that saving a friendship was more important than the chance we'd be lovers. Tom you chose friendship over love."

"This isn't quite the same, though. Since Paul loves you, Julie isn't giving up anything. But it is your choice, Katryn, so I won't argue with you. Just remember I'll always be available if you ever need a shoulder to cry on." She hugged him, and told him how much she appreciated his friendship.

"Tom do you still love me?" she finally asked. He had been waiting for that question.

"I suppose I always will, Katryn, but not like I did at first. It doesn't hurt any more. And I'll always consider you a good friend."

"I'm glad," Katryn said, her resolve kicking in. "I know it's none of my business, but, are you in love with Anne?"

"I do like her." He took a deep breath. "But I'm so much older..."

"Whoa. I don't want to hear that. You make me feel ancient! It was ok to like me, but Anne's too young?" she teased.

"I meant, she's much younger than I."

"But she's only four years younger than I am!"

"I ... She ..." Tom sputtered.

"You're four years older than I am, and my age is ok, right. Well, then, Anne is only four years younger than I am so..."

"I'm trying to be serious."

"You're trying to be an old fuddy duddy. I ask how you feel about Anne and you quote numbers? It's obvious to anyone who breathes how Anne feels about you. And, unless I miss my guess, you more than just like her. As I see it, you're attracted to her, in spite of her age, and she's attracted to you, in spite of your age. So, who, pray tell, are you trying to impress with this 'age' stuff? Now Tom, as your friend I'm giving you my best advice." She pointed down the beach, "Head out down that way, and go find Anne."

Before he could go, she took hold of his arm. "Tom there's only one favor I ask." She became very serious. "If Anne chooses to dislike me, let her. Don't get in an argument over me. You and I know how we feel, that's all that matters, anyway." She stood up, gave Tom a hug, and told him, "You're truly the best friend I've ever had, Tom. Now get outa' here and go find Anne."

He gave her another quick kiss on the cheek before he left her.

Katryn headed back to the motel, totally drained. While she was happy for Tom, wished him only the best, still her decision about Paul was like a dead weight slowly crushing her heart. She trudged clumsily in the too-big boots, and thought again about Julie. Remembering how she had hurt Tom, one of her very best friends, she swore she would never hurt a friend again. Tom had shown her that friendship really was worth the sacrifice.

Mary, Ken Ed and Bob were playing Pinochle when Katryn got back. Paul was not around, she noticed. Ed offered her his place in the game, but she had to refuse. Even though the game would be a welcome diversion for her, she was too drained to even consider playing.

After removing the boots, Katryn sat back in the comfortable recliner with her feet again wrapped in towels. She had no idea what time it was when she drifted off to sleep. She was awakened by Bob exclaiming it was after three, and someone should go looking for Tom and Anne. Forcing herself to wake up, she answered him. She noticed Paul was sitting at the table watching the game.

"I think they're probably fine. If Tom hadn't found her, I'm sure he'd have been back before now." Mary agreed with Katryn, and the game continued for a few more hands before they called it a night.

Katryn had just gotten comfortable under the covers when she heard the motel door shut quietly. Anne tapped her on the shoulder.

"I'm really sorry for all the awful things I said to you. Tom and I had a long talk. Can you ever forgive me? I know I don't deserve it ..."

"Nonsense. But could I ask one favor?"

"Anything .."

"Let me keep Tom for a friend?"

"You bet!" Anne promised. "I'd like us all to be friends."

"I'd like that too," Katryn told her before they both settled for the night. Katryn awakened early. She found her log unoccupied again, and so she soaked up all she could of the ocean. She closed her eyes to imprint the roar of the waves and the screech of the gulls. Then she stared at the waves coming in, watching how they crested before they crashed to shore.

She smelled the fresh salt water scent, and walked barefoot on the cool hard packed sand. She let waves roll over her bare feet while she watched two small children run in up to their knees then scream when the cold forced them back out. Again and again they ran into and out of the waves. Katryn remembered Paul saying he could see her boys doing that same thing. She could imagine them there, too.

She got back to the motel before the others had awakened, and started breakfast.

Coffee was perking and the orange juice was poured. She had bacon warming in the oven, hash browns cooking in one pan, and scrambled eggs going in the other. She pointed out to Ed and Ken, when they joined her that she also was keeping up with the toast.

"Not bad for an old lady, eh?" she asked Ed.

"Rheumatism isn't interfering with your work, and you've had years and years and years of experience, right?" He ducked when she chucked an unbuttered piece of toast at him.

"Should have caught that," she admonished him. "It's all you're getting to eat. Bread and water."

"And she probably means ocean water at that!" Ken added.

Katryn headed out right after breakfast. The women teased her about cooking so she would get out of doing the dishes, and Tom mentioned she had managed to dirty every pan in the place.

"Better hurry and start washing, then. We only have a couple hours," she called to him before she headed out the door.

They spent about three more hours in Rockaway Beach. Katryn found t-shirts and kites for the boys, an Oregon Coast blouse for Audrey, and matching sweat shirts for Joe and Dottie. She picked up a book on whales, hoping she and the boys could go whale watching when she returned. Paul ran into her as she finished shopping.

"How about an ice cream cone?" he offered. They found a gourmet ice cream shop and Katryn tried a couple flavors she had never had before. "Katryn, I'm not sure I can continue as friends," Paul told her when they headed back to the resort. "It wasn't fair of me to force that on you, anyway. I'll make no more demands of you, nor will I ever tell Julie." Absently she fingered the necklace she was wearing. She was not sure if she was relieved or hurt, so she said nothing.

"I'll finish the volleyball season," he continued. "But I don't think you'll have to worry about seeing me at softball. I have to admit I'm giving up. I gave it my best, I want you to know, but even that wasn't enough." He paused a moment, the defeat showing on his face. "I guess I'd better own up to what I did," he added. "I talked Bill into coming to meet Julie. I explained that she thought she liked me, but I wasn't really interested in her. Don't worry," he assured her, "I said nothing about you, and Bill knew what I said was on the Q.T. Anyway, it backfired. Bill really liked Julie, and she didn't care at all for him. In fact, I suspect she was using him to try to make me jealous.

"So, I invited Larry and sort of encouraged him to act interested in you." He stopped her before she could react. "Let me finish, please. I thought maybe Julie would prefer someone more of a challenge, someone interested in you. I even got my hopes up when she asked Larry to dance. That backfired, too. Larry seems really interested in you, and I can't tell him to lay off. I'm out of ideas, Katryn. I only know I can't take anymore. I know you ask no more of your friends than you yourself are willing to give, but I'm afraid I'd fall well short of your mark."

Katryn hurt too much to answer. They walked in silence the rest of the way back. Katryn took her things into the room she had shared with Mary and Anne. She packed everything so she would be ready to go when the others were. She thought of Tom, of the fact that he, too, understood what friends did for each other, meant to each other. Even that did not lessen the empty feeling she now considered her constant companion.

She went back out to her log and absorbed all she could of the ocean. She let the sounds, sight, and smells wash over her one last time. She wondered, listlessly, how the ocean could be just as it was when she first sat here; yet her life had changed drastically the last two days. While the tide had washed clean all traces of the night before, all signs of the many campfires that had dotted the beach, Katryn knew she would never be so lucky. This weekend was one she would never forget.

They left about noon, stopping at a hamburger place on the way out of town. They got back to Spokane well after supper, and Katryn felt a little sorry that Bob and Mary had not been able to ride back in the van with the rest of them. As tired as they were when they headed out, the others still managed to laugh most of the way home. Ed, Ken, even Anne kept them all entertained.

The few times Katryn actually caught Paul's eye, she saw he, too, was merely pretending to enjoy the trip. There was no humor in his eyes. She wondered if the twinkle was gone for good. They arrived at the parking lot with everyone promising to make another trip to Oregon soon. Katryn knew she would not join them the next time.

When Katryn got home, she gave Dottie and Joe a call. They told her they had had a wonderful time, and the boys were worn out. They wondered if they could bring the boys back in the morning. Dottie would open the store, and Katryn could come in at 12:30 to relieve her for lunch, they teased.

Katryn soaked in a nice warm bath, using the time to remind herself of all the good times she had shared with Julie. She remembered when she first opened the store, and Julie gave her a beautiful hanging shamrock for above her desk. It still hung there.

She remembered all the birthdays they had shared, always teasing each other about their ages. She remembered the soccer games they had attended together; cheering so loudly that Timmy would get embarrassed. Ryan had loved it. She tried to remember all the fun they had had, all the times they had shared, both good and bad.

All the times they had 'been there' for each other when it was needed most. She reminded herself, finally, of what a good friend Julie had been; that the friendship was worth saving.

While the time she spent soaking in the tub was used to remind herself how important friendship was, the time she spent asleep told her how much she would miss Paul. Her dreams were filled with Paul. Paul playing electric soccer games with her boys. Paul ladling punch at her store party. Paul flying a kite with the ocean roaring beside him.

For no reason, or for every reason, she started to cry. Tom managed, she scolded herself, and you will, too.

By the time the boys got home, she had gotten herself under control, and had, hopefully, locked away all feelings for Paul. Joe liked the sweatshirts, though he told Katryn she should not have spent that much money. Timmy and Ryan were even more excited about their t-shirts when they realized the design on their t-shirts resembled the ones on grampa Joe's and gramma Dottie's sweatshirts.

"Now we can all be twins!" Ryan teased.

After Joe left, assuring Katryn that the boys had been very well behaved, she spent time telling them about the ocean. She told the boys how she had flown kites with hundreds of other adults, described all the different styles of kites, even the stunt kites that were available. She tried to make them see and hear and smell and experience how wonderful the ocean was, and ended up promising they would all go to the coast in the summer.

Audrey came a little before noon to watch the boys. She liked her blouse, and told the boys she would help them with their kites. Katryn left the three of them in Oregon Coast shirts, and headed to work.

Dottie had her sweatshirt on when Katryn got to work.

"I like your sweatshirt," Katryn kidded when she saw Dottie. "Someone must have great taste. Even the color suits you."

"Size was right, too," Dottie agreed before thanking Katryn. Then she asked expectantly, "How was the ocean?" Katryn knew what Dottie was asking.

"Really nice. I'm hoping that maybe one week this summer I can talk you and Joe into handling the shop so the boys can see how beautiful the ocean really is."

"You know we'd love to," Dottie quickly assured her. "But how was the weekend? I mean, did everyone get along, ok?" Katryn was not ready to talk about what had happened, and she knew Dottie would persist, so she decided on a little white lie.

"Everyone got on fine. It was a wonderful weekend, and I really appreciate your fixing it so I could go." At that, Dottie became very animated.

"I'm so glad it went well. You know, I think Paul is a very nice man. When we had lunch we talked about so many things." Katryn smiled while Dottie unknowingly twisted the knife even deeper. "Katryn, Joe and I want you to know that, just in case things work out well... what I mean is, if you and Paul ..." She tried one more time, "Well, we really love you and ... Oh heck, what I'm trying to say is, we'd be honored to have a double wedding in December." Katryn's smile never faltered when she answered.

"Dottie that's the nicest thing I've ever heard. I'm not sure ..."

"We're not trying to rush you. After all, December's a long way off."

Katryn was saved by customers. She was sure the fates were finally taking pity on her. The day was fairly busy, but still Dottie had time to tell her how well the weekend had gone. Saturday had been one of the store's busiest ever, and Dottie admitted she would have been swamped without Joe's help. Sunday, with the boys, had been an adventure, too. A much more pleasant one, luckily. They had spent the day at the Walk in the Wild Zoo. The boys had petted, fed, mimicked or stared at every animal there, Dottie was sure.

"It was great of you to take them," Katryn told her friend.

"We're hoping you'll let us do it more often," Dottie told her. "Joe can't wait to go to soccer games, and we hoped that we can take the boys out on Joe's boat on Sundays, sometimes?"

"The boys will love it," Katryn assured her. "And maybe, once in a while, you could go to a soccer game and I'll watch the store," Katryn offered. "After all, the major thing is that they have someone to cheer them on. I'm sure you and Joe could handle that fine."

Joe showed up before closing time to take Dottie home. He agreed with Dottie that they would be happy to take the store for a week in the summer, and checked with Katryn about when soccer started.

When she got home, the boys told her they had gotten their kites airborne and Ryan was happy he could fly a kite even with the cast on. Audrey had left when Katryn got there, but was back in time for Katryn to go to volleyball.

'Well', Katryn thought, heading to practice for the final time, 'the last few weeks have given me a lot. Tom's an even closer friend, Anne's becoming one, Dottie and Joe are getting married and my boys have a set of grandparents who live near us. I feel like I've gotten to know Ken, Ed, Mary and Bob better, and I've not lost Julie as a friend. Maybe things aren't perfect, but they're not so bad, either'.

Julie was not at practice, and Katryn hoped nothing serious had come up. First she missed the trip, now practice. And Katryn had been too wrapped up in herself to think to call Julie. Great friend, she berated herself.

Otherwise, the team did well. Paul was a little quiet, and Katryn wondered if the others noticed. Nothing was ever said, though.

For her part, Katryn had to admit she was glad Julie was not there. With only three women, none of them had to sit out any games. She not only did not have to worry about sitting out, maybe having to talk to Paul, she also did not have to worry about sitting out thinking about Paul. It was enough to have to deal with the occasional touch when they came close. She told herself her heart was locked far away. She was glad she did not have to put it to the test.

The team worked together beautifully whipping Jim's team in five straight games. Remembering the comments his team had made the last practice, Katryn was tempted to gloat a little. She chose not to. Instead she smiled at Jim and thought 'Put that in your pipe and smoke it'. Denny's was time for gloating, however.

"Those games felt better than the whole league," Katryn was surprised to hear Paul admit. "'Best team didn't win'," he mimicked what had been said last week. "Guess there's no doubt now!"

"Aye, Aye," Tom agreed. "Victory is sweet."

They all left together, and Katryn found herself actually looking forward to Friday. It would be the last time this team would be together and she would miss that. They had become closer, after the weekend. It had even shown in their playing. It reminded Katryn of why she had always loved sports. Not only did you get exercise, get to burn off a little steam, but you also got to do something you liked with people you got along with.

And the team, the way it was right now, was what she had always known was possible. Teammates who could work together and not let their egos interfere. Players who could use each person's strengths to minimize the team's weaknesses. Individuals who truly liked sports, and each other.

And, in spite of what had been said about Jim's team, Katryn knew the EVER READYs had become a group of people who found playing more important than winning. Hoping her feelings for Paul truly were tucked far away, she vowed to enjoy the team, for as long as she could.

Paul did not show for lunch Tuesday, but Katryn had not expected him. It was for the best, she reminded herself at closing, after not seeing him at all. Still, she missed him.

She hurried to Pasadena Park after work to pick up the boys at soccer practice. While Ryan was not allowed to play, he was able to run some of the drills. Practice ended shortly after Katryn got there. She dropped Joey off at his house, and asked him to thank his mom for picking up her boys.

"Mom said to tell you this works good for her, too. She has time to fix supper before she has to go get my brother. See you Thursday. Oh, and thanks for the ride," he added, getting out of her car. She waited until he got inside the house before she drove away.

Katryn tried Julie's number three or four times, but the line was busy. Wednesday after work, and again after cub scouts, she tried Julie's number. She got only the answering machine.

Thursday soccer practice got out late. By the time Katryn had fixed supper, bathed and read to the boys, and gotten ready for bed, it was too late to call. Friday, Audrey called her at work.

"Julie left word on your answering machine that she can't make the tournament tonight." Katryn was beginning to worry, and she decided she would have to try harder to catch Julie at home.

The truth was, though, the team did super without Julie. Maybe some of it was because Katryn did not have to watch every move she made around Paul, but part of it was also because how close the team had become. They never lost a single game, and they left the gym with two sets of trophies, 1st place in league and 1st place in tourney.

Dancing was the best ever. Katryn knew it, too, was because the team felt closer after the weekend. Ken and Ed only deserted occasionally, dancing with Katryn, Mary and Anne for the most part. The fast dances were especially fun with the EVER READYs and their partners making human chains to dance around the floor. Sometimes they changed to doing the twist, rumba, and foxtrot to rock music.

Paul asked her to dance only once, a fast one of course, but no-one noticed since she danced nearly every dance. It was the best night they had ever had, and if anyone noticed that Larry and Bill were missing, they never mentioned it.

It was as they were getting their coats, getting ready to leave, that a small bit of unpleasantness creeped in.

"When does softball practice start, coach?" Bob asked. Though he did not play volleyball, he had asked to join their softball team this year.

"A week from Monday. 6:00 o'clock at Minnehaha Park," she told him.

"Paul, you are going to join us this year, right?" Bob asked. "I'd hate to be the only new one." Katryn held her breath. It stopped the pain, a little.

"I'm not sure. I think the transit team practices Monday's, so I may not be able to." Katryn knew it was a lie. So, this is where the friendship ends, she told herself when they walked out to their cars. Well, he had warned her. Still, even holding her breath would not help this time. Paul's car was parked next to hers. While everyone waved and called goodnight to each other, Paul said goodnight to Katryn.

"Goodnight," she said, thinking goodbye was perhaps more appropriate.

"It didn't work out with Paul, did it?" Dottie asked Saturday, when she came to spell Katryn for lunch. Katryn shook her head. Dottie was near tears. "I'm so sorry. He seemed so nice, too. Joe and I both hoped ..."

"I know. I guess I did, too, a little. But there was no way it could work out." Katryn had to get some fresh air. "Dottie, I may take a little longer at lunch today. It's not been very busy. Do you mind?"

"No. Joe's browsing down the hall, so if I need help he'll be around."

"Thanks." Katryn got her coat and went out to her car. She was not hungry. In fact, she doubted she could eat anything. Instead she drove to the upriver dam and watched the water rush over the spillway to crash on the rocks below.

She had read once, something about positive ions being released at waterfalls. She remembered, vaguely, that white water was a sign that the ions were being released into the atmosphere. The ions were supposed to be rejuvenating, therefore, being near white water was supposed to calm you. She stood on the retaining wall near the falls and hoped the ions would help.

It was quite some time later that she realized she must have been daydreaming. She had not noticed the time go by, and she felt better. She headed back to work, and Dottie was pleased to see how relaxed she now appeared.

She and the boys went roller-skating and she was not surprised Julie did not show. Since her friend had not called to make sure they were going, Katryn had not expected her to be there. She was a little uneasy though, about not hearing from her friend.

Sunday, Katryn started reading the book about whales to her sons. They talked about going whale watching in Oregon and what fun they would have on the beach. She told herself it should not hurt to think about the coast, but in truth it did hurt.

Monday was the start of softball practice. After work, Katryn found a parking spot near the diamond at Minnehaha Park and saw that Tom and Anne were already warming up. Soon Ken, Ed, Mary and Bob showed. Most of the people from last year's team were back, and two new women, April and Donna, joined them. While Katryn was again captain, Tom was coach and ran the practices.

It felt good to Katryn to be outdoors playing softball again. Granted, it was a bit cold, but it was fresh air she was breathing. And it was nice to see people she had not seen since July of last year. Practice went well, and Katryn refused to be upset over Paul's absence. It would hurt more to see him, she told herself.

Since the softball games would be on Friday, the team decided they would like to practice twice a week just until the games started. Katryn was amazed that everything had worked out so well. Monday and Friday she had softball. Tuesday and Thursday the boys had soccer practice, with their games on Saturdays. Wednesday was Cub Scout night. She thanked the fates for working it out so well. Then she added a thank you that she was being kept too busy to think about a certain person she knew.

The week went well. Tuesday Paul did not show up for lunch, and Dottie never again asked about him. Timmy's first soccer game of the season would be Saturday at 8:00 am, and Dottie agreed to watch for the first half hour, and then open the store, so that Katryn could stay the whole game.

Friday practice went well, and Katryn liked the looks of the softball team. They showed promise.

Saturday rolled around and Katryn, armed with thermoses of hot cocoa, a blanket, and two chairs, met Dottie and Joe at the soccer field. Dottie and Ryan used the chairs. Katryn ran up and down the field, Joe beside her, encouraging the team. Dottie left at half time, when Timmy's team was ahead 3 to 1.

Katryn and Joe yelled enough encouragements to the whole team that Timmy was completely embarrassed. He was even more embarrassed by the whooping and hollering his mother did when they won 5 to 3. After the game, the coach came to talk to Katryn.

"Mrs. Delaney, you're a joy to have here. It's a welcome change to have a parent who always finds something nice to say to all the boys. Tell me, though, how do you know all their names?"

"Their names are on their jerseys..." Katryn answered, laughing.

"Written so small you can't see them from the side lines," he reminded her. "Even I sometimes have trouble remembering."

"Because of my store, I've gotten pretty good at remembering names. And I've noticed with my own two boys that it seems really important to the kids to have an adult call them by name. It seemed just a little effort on my part made a big difference to them."

"It means a lot to the kids to hear the praise, too" the coach added. "I wish all the parents would be as positive as you."

"Thanks. I've played sports all my life, and the one thing I noticed early on is that a player usually knows when they make a mistake, and it doesn't help them to be reminded of it. It's amazing, though, how well someone plays when he's feeling good about himself. Besides, I want sports to be fun, and rewarding, for my boys. It's always been for me."

"I hope you continue to make all the games, Mrs. Delaney. Maybe your attitude will rub off on some of the other parents." Katryn knew exactly who he meant. Many times she had yelled especially loud trying to drown out one of the fathers who had nothing good to say about any of the kids. Katryn introduced Grampa Joe to the coach and explained that he would be at any games she missed to continue embarrassing Timmy.

"Oh, Mom," Timmy said, overhearing her. Katryn and Joe left the field chuckling. Grampa Joe wanted to take the boys for a victory coke, so Katryn headed to work. She told Dottie all about the second half of the game, and they reminded each other of some of the funnier happenings of the first half.

After work, Katryn tried Julie a couple times before she and the boys got comfortable watching Pete's Dragon. When they were getting into bed, Ryan remembered something.

"Mom, guess who we saw after the game? Paul was at soccer watching another team." Her heart constricted and she took in a deep breath. Timmy joined in.

"Yeah. He went for a coke with us, and we told him all about our game. I asked if he could come watch my game next week and he said 'maybe'!"

"Grampa Joe showed him the schedule so he could see if he could come," Ryan added.

"That's nice," Katryn told them.

"Mom, if he comes next week, can we invite him here to play our soccer games and have pizza again?" Timmy asked excitedly.

"We'll have to see," Katryn told him. "He's probably too busy. He's on a softball team and they might play on Saturday's," she explained, fishing for excuses.

"Huh-uh. Nope. He said he's not playing softball this year. Timmy told him to call you and he could join yours."

"Oh? And what did he have to say to that?" she asked noncommittally. A little dejected, Timmy reported Paul had said he would have to see 'cause he's pretty busy at work.' She was happy to hear he had used the same excuse she had.

"Well, maybe some Saturday you'll see him again at soccer," she told them before tucking them in and kissing them goodnight.

While she got herself ready for bed, Katryn wondered who Paul had been watching. She did not think he had any relatives in Spokane. It dawned on her, painfully, that he probably had a new girlfriend who had boys in soccer. She tried to remember what the boys had said about going for a coke. Had they mentioned if he had been alone? She honestly could not remember. 'Darn', she chastised herself, 'that's what you get for not paying attention.'

She slept fairly well, but she awakened with memories of dreams about Paul. Otherwise Sunday was nice. Katryn and the boys took their kites up to the park and had a lot of fun flying them. When they got home they had some hot cocoa. It was not until they started to warm up that they realized how cold they had gotten.

After dinner, Katryn tried Julie's number and again got only an answering machine. This was not at all like her friend, and Katryn was getting more worried.

The next week went fairly well at work, and with soccer, scouts and softball. Even Saturday was good, since Paul did NOT make Timmy's game. The only problem at all, was that Katryn still could not get a hold of Julie.

Friday she had even gotten worried enough to call her friend at work, but Julie had already left for the day. Since the secretary did not say anything about something being wrong with Julie, Katryn was at least relieved that her friend obviously had not been in an accident.

The first thing Katryn did when she got to work Monday, even before opening the store, was to call Julie at work. She knew her friend would be having her free period, so instead of leaving a message she told the secretary it was important she talk to Julie. After a few minutes, Julie got on the line.

"I've been worried about you. Is everything ok?" Katryn asked.

"I can't talk now, Katryn."

"Julie, is everything ok?"

"I'll call you tonight. I promise. I have to go now."

Perhaps Katryn should have been able to guess what was up, but she had no idea. Instead, she worried all day at work. It was unlike Julie to be secretive with her best friend. She knew it had to be something serious. When she got home, Katryn phoned Julie. When the answering machine started its spiel, Katryn yelled into the phone.

"Julie, if you don't answer this phone right now I'll be at your office tomorrow at 7:00 am. And I won't leave until ..."

"Katryn, I'm here," Julie finally admitted.

"Julie, what's going on?" Katryn demanded.

"I'm not sure ... I don't know ... Katryn, I didn't do this on purpose..."

"Do what?" Katryn prodded.

"Katryn, I think we need to talk ..."

"I agree. That's why I called. Julie ..."

"No, I mean, I think we need to talk, but NOT over the phone. Can you come over?" Katryn checked with Audrey and called Julie back. She would be at Julie's in about twenty minutes.

For that entire twenty minutes, Katryn was a nervous wreck. Oh no, she thought, what if Julie had found out about Katryn and Paul. What if she were finally going to have to face losing her best friend.

An uglier thought crept in for just a moment. What if Julie and Paul were... and Paul told her about Katryn? 'Oh fates, if you're listening at all, I promise, this'll never happen again. Please. I can't lose my best friend now, not on top of losing Paul. Please ...'

Katryn was not sure how she had gotten to Julie's. By rights, she should have probably been in an accident. After all, she had paid no attention to her driving. She pulled into Julie's drive, turned off the car, and just sat. Now that she was here, she was not sure if she really wanted to find out what Julie had to tell her.

When Julie opened the front door and half-heartedly waved, Katryn got out of her car. They barely exchanged hi's, and Julie led Katryn to the large living room. Even with a fire burning brightly, Katryn felt chilled. The hot cup of coffee Julie handed her did not help at all.

"Katryn, what I'm going to tell you might make you angry," Julie started.

"Me angry?" Katryn asked, confused.

"I need to tell you everything, then if you hate me ..."

"Julie, we're best friends. I couldn't hate you," Katryn reassured her, seeing that it was very difficult for Julie, whatever it was.

"Do you know why I didn't go to Rockaway?"

"You never did tell me."

"It was because of Larry." The surprise must have shown on Katryn's face, she knew, because Julie now rushed on non-stop. "Katryn, I liked Larry. I liked him a lot. But you were dating him, so I had to leave him alone. I did ok on Friday nights, I could almost handle the dancing because the other men kept me busy. But it wasn't easy watching him with you, and I knew I'd never be able to go through a whole weekend watching you two together without you finding out."

"But you said he was conceited, that you didn't like ..."

"I know. I lied. I couldn't very well tell you I liked him. We had that understanding."

"Julie, it's ..." she got no chance to continue when the door bell rang. The door opened, and Larry walked in.

"I know what you said; Julie, but I couldn't leave you to do this alone." Then he turned to Katryn. "Hi," was all he said. He walked over and stood behind Julie's chair resting his hands on her shoulders. With his support, Julie rushed on.

"Katryn, I decided not to go to Rockaway. I called your house so I'd get your answering machine. I couldn't tell you the real reason I wasn't going, and I knew I couldn't lie to you, so I took the coward's way out. Anyway, Larry called at about six that evening. He'd gotten held up at work, and had missed you guys. He was trying everyone's number hoping someone had a kid, or roomy who'd know the name of the hotel you were staying at. I was home, obviously." Larry nodded and Julie took a deep breath. "When Larry got a hold of me, he was surprised I hadn't gone with the others. He asked if I'd like to ride with him, and I said no. When he asked why, I started to cry."

Katryn sat numbly while Larry and Julie, together, explained the rest. Julie finally admitted to Larry that she cared for him. Then she told him she never wanted to see him again, and hung up on him. Fifteen minutes later Larry was on her doorstep. He refused to leave until he could talk to her. Eventually he wore her down, and she let him in. He told her he cared very much for her. He said that he was only going to Rockaway because she was going. He admitted he had not asked her out, or even danced much with her because he had thought she was with Paul, and Paul was his boss. Then Julie told Larry about not being able to date him because of Katryn. Larry broke in.

"Katryn, I told Julie that if you two were really such good friends, you'd understand. I told her I wasn't going anywhere unless she went, too."

"And eventually," Julie was crying now, "he told me he loved me. He's asked me to marry him, Katryn. I can't, if it means losing our friendship."

Katryn was stunned. Everything she had been through with Paul, Julie had been going through with Larry. Part of her hurt knowing what Julie had been through. Julie interrupted her thoughts.

"There's something else I have to tell you." Looking at Larry she said, "I have to tell you everything, so you'll know what kind of friend I really am." Katryn heard the recrimination in Julie's voice. "Larry spent that weekend with me. We've been together ever since. He's moved in with me, Katryn. I'm so sorry ..."

The room became suffocatingly quiet, the gas fire offering very little background noise, as Katryn's insides warred. 'She's your best friend, surely you can forgive her. You know how hard it was for you.' 'Yes, but I fought the temptation for MY friend.' 'Did you really? What about the kisses and the dances?' 'But I turned him away,' she fairly shouted to herself. 'My best friend meant that much to me. Why didn't it mean as much to Julie?'

The minutes ticked by, and Larry and Julie watched Katryn closely. She stared at the flames giving no indication which part of her was winning. Julie knew her well, after all these years. She knew Katryn was trying to decide if their friendship was worth forgiving her. She wondered what she would have done if it had happened to her.

A small voice made itself heard in Katryn. 'If this friendship was worth losing Paul, is it not worth forgiving Julie?' Tears trickled down Katryn's face and she turned, finally, to Julie and Larry.

"I've really missed you, Julie," she admitted, with a lopsided grin. Julie was beside her immediately and hugged her best friend.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this ..."

"It's ok," Katryn told her honestly. "Friends don't judge. I understand."

Larry came and hugged both women, and after some stilted small talk, Julie asked Katryn if she would be her maid of honor.

"I'd have been hurt if you hadn't asked," Katryn admitted. It was just Katryn's luck to hear they, too were planning a December wedding.

Katryn drove along upriver and parked at the falls. She tried to make sense of all of her conflicting feelings, but was too numb. When it was late enough she knew the boys would be asleep, she went home. She had no energy left, not even for them. Absently she wondered if the positive ions worked in the dark.

She went to bed that night debating whether Paul was right. Did she ask too much of her friends? 'No!' Part of her answered emphatically. 'Tom knew how important friendship was. He understood.'

Tuesday was a slow day at work, yet Katryn was still unable to do her paperwork. She could not concentrate.

After soccer, Katryn took the boys out for pizza. Julie called when they got back home. She told Katryn, again, how sorry she was, and then she said she had to ask Katryn a favor. Would she please not tell Paul about Larry? Paul was Larry's boss, Julie reminded her, and Larry was not sure how Paul would take the news.

Katryn told Julie that Paul was not on her softball team, and she had not seen him since volleyball. Since she probably would not see Paul, there was nothing for Julie to worry about.

'And you probably won't be seeing Paul!' Katryn told herself when she went to bed that night. She knew she could not call him and tell him she was now free, she was not that brave. She could not handle an 'I told you so.' Besides, by now he was probably seeing someone else. She remembered that he had been to a soccer game, and decided it must be a new girlfriend's child he had gone to watch.

Thursday was softball practice. Katryn told no-one about Julie and Larry. Only Tom would have understood how she felt and she was much too raw to even tell him. She took a little kidding about missing Monday's practice, but offered no explanation.

The softball team was looking pretty good. April and Donna, the young unattached women she had gotten from the parks department, seemed to like Ken and Ed. Luckily, they also played softball well. She had a couple more spots to fill, but so far the team was filling out nicely. And Ed thanked her numerous times for taking his suggestion to heart. After practice Tom helped her carry the equipment to her car.

"Do you think he'll ever come back?" Tom asked. She knew who he meant. Sometimes she wondered if he were psychic.

"I don't know. Maybe friendship doesn't mean very much to him."

"I needed time away to think, too, Katryn. I came back."

"We'll see if he does," she said, not too optimistically. She just could not talk about Paul right now. Katryn went straight home after practice. She told Tom she had a headache and could not go for a coke. She could see he did not believe her, but being the friend he was, he merely told her he hoped she would feel better soon.

"Don't forget, I have broad shoulders you can use whenever," he added before she drove away.

When she got home, Katryn told the boys she did not feel well, so they watched TV quietly while she rested. They only argued once, running into her room to have her decide which movie they would watch. Trying to remember which tapes they had, she chose _An American Tail_.

After the movie, the boys kissed her goodnight and went to bed by themselves. They told her they were too old to be tucked in anyway, so she could just stay in bed tonight. She appreciated how good they had been, but did not believe for a minute that they were too old to be tucked in. She would wait till tomorrow to tell them, though.

Saturday work was fairly busy. Dottie and Joe took the boys to their soccer game at 11:00, so Dottie did not make it back until nearly one. After Katryn's lunch, Dottie told her all about how well Timmy had done, assuring her boss that she and Joe had encouraged the entire team throughout the game. A game in which Timmy had scored the winning goal, Dottie told her.

Saturday night Katryn and the boys went skating. She was surprised when Julie showed up.

"I wouldn't miss our skating night for anyone," she explained. Katryn smiled, remembering when Julie had asked if she could skip skating if Paul called to ask her out.

"I'm glad you're here," Katryn admitted. "After all, I was getting worn out on all the double's skating with both the boys."

While there was still a little tension between them, they both enjoyed the evening. When Julie finally got around to asking how Katryn had felt about Larry, Katryn admitted she had not been the least attracted to him. Relieved, Julie then went on about the plans she and Larry had made for the future. Katryn found it did not bother her at all to talk about Julie and Larry.

"I know how you must have felt about me after I went back on our promise," Julie said when they were walking out to their cars after skating. "I'm really glad you forgave me." She quickly hugged Katryn before hurriedly walking off towards her own car.

Sunday Katryn was finally able to make peace with herself about Julie. It took realizing she was just as disappointed in herself for not being honest with Julie, as she was with Julie. She forgave both of them, finding it was just a little harder to forgive herself.

She played nerf soccer with the boys out in the fresh air, and started to feel a little more like the old Katryn.

Monday practice rolled around and Katryn pulled Tom aside. "Larry and Julie are getting married," she told him quietly. He knew exactly what that meant.

"That's why she quit volleyball?" Katryn nodded at him. "Behind your back?" Katryn gave him a wry smile.

"Completely," she admitted.

"Hurts when a friend lets you down," he said. She nodded her agreement. "I'll bet you found out some time before Thursday's practice?" Surprised, she nodded again. "You looked so dejected," he explained. "You didn't seem to want to talk about it then, but I figured it had to do with Paul. Speaking of Paul, does he know?"

"No."

"Will you tell him?"

"No. And I want your word you won't either. I'm not ready, yet."

"You've got it, of course," he promised.

Half-way through practice, Katryn heard a familiar voice.

"Got a position I can play?" he asked. Katryn turned to face Paul.

"What position do you play?"

"Short stop, second base, or Best Friend?" he suggested, the twinkle back in his eyes. He took his mitt and headed towards the empty spot at second. Katryn's heart started beating wildly. 'Wait and see', part of her said. But another part kept crying, 'he's back, he's back'.

CHAPTER 12

Paul, though friendly, kept his distance at practice. Numerous times Katryn saw him teasing with Anne, Mary and the others. He said almost nothing to her, however. Katryn began to wonder if he had only come to softball because he had missed the team. Not because of her, at all.

Tom was hitting infield practice while Katryn caught the in-coming balls.

"Are you going to tell Paul?" he asked again.

"No."

"Then I will."

"Please don't..." Katryn begged, turning to argue with him. She heard her name called at the same time she felt the ball slam into her right shoulder. Everyone stopped, waiting to see if she were hurt.

"Are you ok?" Tom asked, quickly dropping the bat and going to her. He lightly touched her arm and she grimaced.

"I'm fine," she lied. "Please don't embarrass me by making this a big deal," she whispered. "Please keep hitting to the infield. I'll live, I assure you." Tom started to hit balls to the infield while he apologized.

"If I hadn't been arguing with you about telling Paul," he told her, "You wouldn't have gotten hit."

"I'm ok, honest. So, please, drop it."

"All right. I won't tell Paul just yet. We'll talk about this later."

After practice Paul did not even offer to help Katryn with the equipment, leaving it to Tom and Anne to help. He stood back, seeming to watch her until the two new women caught up to him. They wanted to know if he was going for a coke. He left with them.

Confused and hurt, Katryn thanked Tom and Anne for helping get the equipment in her car. Tom made her promise to go for a coke before they left.

Tom and Anne waited at the door to the Stagecoach for Katryn. Tom offered to buy Katryn's coke if she would save a table for everyone. Since there was a bit of a line to order drinks, the rest of the team had not gotten to order yet. Katryn picked out a huge table and sat towards the middle wondering where Paul would sit. Though there were seats all around her, Paul moved to the end of the table. The two new women sat with him.

Tom, Anne, Bob, Mary, surrounded Katryn. It was almost as if they were trying to protect her from Paul. It was a crazy thought, she knew, since they could not possibly know how he was hurting her. A little while after their food had come; Ed and Ken had gone to play video games. Anne excused herself to go to the ladies' room, and Bob and Mary said they had to leave. Paul, April and Donna got up, too, and soon Tom and Katryn were alone.

"Why won't you tell him?" Tom asked when it was safe.

"I don't think he cares anymore," she admitted. Tom saw the hurt in her eyes.

"Why not let him decide that?" Tom persisted.

"Please, Tom. You saw him. He didn't seem at all interested in me..."

"He came back," Tom reminded her.

"Maybe he just missed the team. Maybe he's already over me and just wants to be with the team. You have to admit he was pretty busy with April and Donna." Tom would not admit how surprised he had been at Paul's behavior. He tried one more time.

"But what if he does care..."

"And what if he doesn't? What if it no longer matters to Paul ... If I no longer matter to Paul? Tom, please." She reached over and took his hand. "Please don't. Can't you understand? What if you tell him, in essence, that I'm available, and he says 'that's nice - maybe I could hunt up another guy from transit.' I couldn't take it, Tom," she pleaded.

Anne came out of the restroom to see Paul standing near the front door. She had thought he was leaving, but realized he must have just walked the ladies to their cars. She saw that he was watching Katryn and Tom. She could tell by the look on his face he was reading the situation wrong. When he turned and stormed back out the door, Anne followed him.

When Anne finally joined Tom and Katryn, Katryn was ready to go. She was near tears, and needed some time alone. Tom offered to walk her to her car, but she refused.

"Thanks, anyway. I'll be ok," she told him. He was going to protest, but Anne caught his eye. She shook her head slightly, hoping Katryn would not notice. She would explain when Katryn was gone.

Katryn was just a few steps out of the restaurant when Paul caught up to her.

"We need to talk," he told her

"I'd rather not..."

He picked her up and carried her to his car. She did not bother fighting. Maybe she needed to hear whatever he had to say. His car was parked behind the restaurant in the corner. He deposited her in the back seat and slid in beside her.

Katryn closed her eyes and steeled herself. She imagined that Paul wanted to give her rules on how their friendship would work. At the thought of his affecting her during softball season, she suddenly became claustrophobic.

'No, I can't take anymore', she told herself and she quickly reached for the door handle to escape. She took Paul unawares, and was almost free before he could react.

Reaching for her, Paul grabbed her shoulders to pull her back inside. She let out a yelp of pain. It was the last straw for Katryn, and she gave up. Tears streamed down her face. She allowed Paul to pull her back into the car while he apologized again and again for hurting her.

Seeing her tears, he cursed himself. Turning Katryn around he carefully raised the sleeve of her t-shirt to expose her upper arm. He cursed himself again when he saw the huge round purple-black bruise there. He realized the ball had to have been thrown pretty darn hard to cause her arm to darken that quickly. He bent over and softly touched his lips to the bruise.

"I'm sorry, Katryn, I didn't mean to hurt you."

The tears doubled and she wondered if he had any idea how badly her heart was bruised. Paul folded her into his arms, being careful not to hurt her arm again, and let her cry herself out. He waited till he was sure she was calmed down before he began.

"Katryn, I know you probably hate me right now, but please let me try to explain. I came to softball today because I'd finally decided I wanted your friendship. I'd missed you while I was gone." Katryn's heart skipped a beat as she heard him go on. "I was doing fairly well at first. It was nice being with everyone, and seeing you again. I even tried to kid with the others and have some fun, hoping my feelings wouldn't show.

"But you and Tom were working so well together. First, during batting practice, when he pitched and you caught. Then during infield practice, when he was batting and you were catching. I guess I got a little jealous. You two seemed so close, that I began to suspect you had gotten together once I left." Katryn tried to protest, but he kept on.

"Then, when we went for cokes, I purposely sat with April and Donna. I wanted to see if you'd be jealous. It didn't work, so I walked them to their cars and came back in planning to talk to you." He paused for a moment before he continued. "When I came back I saw you alone with Tom, having a rather intimate talk. I saw you reach for his hand, and I guess I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I stormed out and decided I'd never see you again. When I got to the car, though, Anne caught up with me and had a few things to say." Katryn wondered if Anne knew about Julie, and whether she would have told Paul

"I owe you an apology, Katryn. Anne told me she and Tom are to be married, and that you and Tom are just good friends." He stopped again, holding her close. Then he pulled back and tipped her face up so he could look at her.

"Katryn, I have to admit I'm even jealous that you and Tom are good friends. I know it won't be easy, but I'd like us to try again to be friends. I'm still not sure I can measure up, but I'm willing to try."

Katryn was a little confused, and it must have shown. If Paul did not know about Julie, them his offer of friendship meant everything to Katryn. If he did know, it could only mean he wanted nothing more than friendship from her. She was not sure she could handle that now.

"What is it? Am I asking too late?" Paul asked quietly. Katryn shook her head. "Then what?" he was becoming as confused as she was.

"You mean friends only?" she asked, tentatively.

"Yes."

"Nothing else?" she turned away.

"I promise."

"Paul," she asked, inspiration making her bold, "Have you talked to Larry lately?"

"No. He avoids me like the plague." Suddenly his heart stopped. Was Larry avoiding him because he was dating Katryn and had somehow found out about Paul? "Why?" Paul turned her face towards him as he repeated, "Why?"

"He didn't tell you he's going to be married?" she had to know.

Paul dropped his hand from her face and looked away. So that was it. She and Larry were going to be married. The bile rose in his throat and he was unable to speak. Katryn flinched at the look on his face. Praying she was interpreting correctly, she reached up and forced him to look at her.

"Paul, Larry's getting married. He's marrying Julie." Paul's eyes widened in disbelief and he took her by her shoulders.

"Don't tease me Katryn." She winced at the pressure he applied to her right arm. Dropping his hands immediately he apologized again. "But Katryn, I have to know the truth. Who is Larry marrying?"

"Julie." she answered with a wry grin.

"Julie? Why, that's wonderful," he blurted. It took a moment before he thought to ask, "How do you feel about that?"

"A little hurt, I guess. That's why they didn't go to Oregon, you know. Also, I'm a little embarrassed."

"Embarrassed? Why?" he wondered.

"You were right," she admitted and he saw the hurt in her eyes. "I ask too much..." He put his finger to her lips and he shook his head.

"I was wrong, Katryn. You don't ask too much, it's just that some of us don't measure up." He kissed her tenderly then continued. "Did you know I went to all the boys' soccer games?"

"I knew about one."

"I was at them all. Even when you were there, I was, too. Joe gave me the schedule," he admitted sheepishly. "He also gave me the idea of standing on the opponents' side so you wouldn't notice me."

"Did you put Timmy up to asking if you could come to our house for pizza?"

"Well, not exactly ..."

"You're awful," she teased.

"Your boys are special, Katryn. You've raised them well. Dottie and Joe think they're pretty great, too, you know."

"How do you know so much about Dottie and Joe, anyway?"

"We've become pretty good friends. In fact, we have dinner together every week."

"Really? Since when?"

"Since Ryan broke his arm. They made all the plans for babysitting so you could go to Oregon, you know. Finding a way to encourage you to go, after you'd refused, was Joe's idea," he admitted with a sly grin. "They care a lot about you, too. They thought they were helping."

"They must think a lot of you, as well," Katryn surmised. Embarrassed, Paul continued.

"Dottie decided to turn the tables on your match-making, according to Joe..." Suddenly he pulled back. "Katryn, is there any reason ... I mean, I know I said best friends would be enough, but that was before ..."

"Why, Paul, I'd hate to lose you for a friend," she answered, seriously.

"Don't be cute," he warned.

"Well, I guess having a friend to fall in love with ..."

"Katryn." She stopped and looked up at him; saw her reflection in his deep blue eyes. "Katryn, I've already gone well beyond the 'falling in love' stage. I told you a long time ago I do believe in love at first sight, and I've known for quite some time that I'm hopelessly in love with you. But if you need more time ..."

"I don't need any more time, Paul. I have no doubts about how I feel about you," she told him honestly. "I love you." He kissed her; to be sure it was not merely a dream.

"This isn't exactly how I planned to do this. In fact, I'd thought the perfect place would be Clinkerdaggers'. In the soft candle light, on my knee. I'd have done this properly. But now I find I can't wait that long. I have to know. Katryn, will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course." He wrapped her in his arms again. It felt so ... right to her.

"Did you know Dottie and Joe originally planned to wed in June?" She shook her head. "They decided to postpone on the chance there could be a double ceremony if they waited until December. Do you think ...?"

"June sounds much nicer to me. For a double ceremony that is," Katryn offered.

"And we'll have two ring bearers for the rings. Ryan's cast should be off by then?" Paul asked, and Katryn nodded. "Know what bothered me the most?" he asked after a few minutes. She again shook her head. "The fact that Tom understood. It still bothers me that it took me nearly a month to realize how much even your friendship meant to me. A month! Tom knew all along."

Before she could answer, Paul tilted her chin up and began to kiss her. She felt herself respond to him, and she decided there would be time later, much later, to tell him Tom had taken six weeks.

### ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kerry is a single mother of 3 whose love of reading led her to an even greater love of writing. She spent many years enjoying the lives and people she discovered in her writing, and now would like to share those people and events with others who share her love of reading.

She makes her home in Spokane, WA (where a few of her books come to life), and sometimes wished she lived in Montana where there was even more snow (home of another book). She has spent many vacations on the Oregon Coast (home to still another book), and has finally been able to spend a couple vacations in Ireland (surely the home to another book soon?).

She hopes you find the people in her books worth knowing, and that their adventures are as interesting to you as they are to her.

Kerry would greatly appreciate hearing of your experiences with her books, so please feel free to leave comments and/or contact me on the link below:

www.facebook.com/kerry.kelly.7587

