Welcome everyone to our trans families
support groups. We're excited to be able
to offer this resource to people 
across the nation. We have enjoyed having
our groups in person here in Seattle and
really wanted to be able to reach - to
have a farther reach across the nation
to folks that don't have the types of
resources that we have here in Seattle.
(music)
When I was raising my son who was at the
time mis-assigned female, I didn't give
him a lot of dolls and pink things
unless he asked for them.
When he came to me and said "I think I'm a quirky female," I said "Yes! That's great."
And then when he came back and said "I think I'm a
tomboy." "Great, I was a tomboy once too,
I get that." "I think I'm a lesbian." "No problem."
"Hey Mom, what's transgender?" "Uh, I'm not
really sure what that is I'll... we'll have to
look it up later."
And he would say "I feel like both." And
then time would pass and he would say
"I feel more like a boy."
And the a teacher had said
"Your child mentioned to her
classmates that she was a girl in a
boy's body," and had already identified a
name for herself.
My wife and I took over official
guardianship of two boys.
She was six years old and I signed her up
for the local track team and she always
came in last with the boys, kind of
running on our tippy toes. And I was
trying to tell her "You can't run on your
tippy toes like that!" But she was just
running the way she was running.
I had this moment of believing 
that I had done it all wrong...
that I didn't raise a boy. 
I raised a girl.
And now he's gonna be all messed
up in the world!
I thought we are the
only people like us in the whole world.
I was gobsmacked I mean it really just
kind of set me on my tush to be honest.
It just it did at times feel like it was
too much. My kid was ready.
it didn't matter that I was not ready. My kid was clear 
and he knew and he needed help.
What I've learned is a big part of being
a parent is
letting go of what my hopes 
and dreams were for the children
and just be there to love 
and support them in theirs.
So, what's going on? How can we
help? Where do we go? What do we do?
I started doing some research and started
reading books to try to find out about it
and that's when I was encouraged to
reach out to some of the support groups.
It was really comforting to walk into a
family support group and hear the other
families tell about their own
experiences. And they were willing to
share and you just felt - I'm not alone.
It's just having somebody there to
listen and say you know it's okay people
have been through this before and you're
not alone. That was what I needed at that
time.
I know that if I have a question or
an issue
that someone will get back to
me and help. And that's...
that's just comforting to have that kind of support.
If we had not gotten the support from the
Trans Family group, 
I can't imagine where we would be.
Even in those minutes when you feel like
you're most alone, you're not. - To all of a
sudden find people who were going through
the exact same thing or very similar
things, or things that pulled at my heart
even more. To be able to help at the same
time as receive - just phenomenal.
Changed my life.
Having this person called me back 
and spent an hour on the phone with me,
and had a transgender child 
and could say things like
"Yes, we've been through that too." and 
"Yeah, that part's really hard."
Even when I feel a year later tears well up
I also have more information
about how happy my child is,
the person he's becoming,
how authentic he is.
(Speaker not visible) 
Yep still our kid,
still the same teenage issues 
everyone else is dealing with you know.
(laughs)
Parenting these days
is challenging.
And you know you can't go
to community college and get a degree
in how to be a parent.
You just gotta learn it! 
(laughs)
(sighs)
Oh my.
