

# **The search for**

# **I am ...**

Smashwords Edition | Copyright 2019 Laura Celna

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment. You may do what you wish with it, but please respect the hard work of this author. Please do not resell it or distribute it for profit, but instead share its contents freely and widely so that others may benefit from these insights.

#  Table of Contents

Introduction What is Self?

Chapter One Opening your Awareness

Chapter Two What is Universal Consciousness?

Chapter Three What is Mindfulness?

Chapter Four Meditation as a tool

Chapter Five Finding your focus

Chapter Six Releasing thoughts about the past and future

Chapter Seven Living in a Material World

Chapter Eight Overcoming your fears

Chapter Nine Karma and Dharma

Chapter Ten Changing your Attitude

Chapter Eleven What is a Spiritual Awakening?

Chapter Twelve Enlightenment

Chapter Thirteen Unlocking the magic of life

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author
Introduction – What is Self?

Humans have pondered the nature of self for millennia. What am I? What is the purpose of my existence? What is the meaning of this life? Where does life even come from? Many philosophers have attempted to answer these questions, but invariably they seem to lead to the same questions.

Does the self really exist, and if so, where do we find it? Philosopher, Rene Descartes stated in 1644: "Cogito Ergo Sum", I think therefore I am. In other words, the only evidence you have that you exist as a self-aware being is your conscious experience of thinking about your existence. The focus then becomes on the thinking. You become convinced that your thoughts are important and thus you become easily swayed by them. When you have negative thoughts you become angry or depressed. When you have positive thoughts you feel happy and motivated.

Your thoughts become the backdrop to your life. But clearly the downside of too much thinking is that you can end up living in your head. If you are inside your head then you are not living fully each moment. Life passes by without your awareness of what is happening. So thinking, in this sense, is a very limited notion of self and it brings you no closer to actually finding who you are.

Most people don't even question what is self. What they consider to be their self is that feeling of being anchored in a body and a mind, from which they perceive the world. If you see things and you do things and you feel things, then you must be your body and your mind...right? It seems to make sense that this is where you are located.

This notion of self is further reinforced by having a personal identity which encompasses your likes, your dislikes, the way you look and behave, and how you interact with others. We give this personal identity a name, perhaps Norm Ality or Liv Ingnow, and this personal identity, stretches across time and contains the memories of experience which are unique to the individual.

So if the self is in the body and the mind, where is it located exactly and how does it maintain control? Is the self in the brain, the heart or the left kidney? Where is it exactly?

As it so happens, science has found no evidence for the self as an entity, but can only determine that it appears to emerge from general processes in the brain. The feeling of embodiment, of being in a particular body in a particular place is centred on the temporal-parietal cortex of the brain (Olaf Blanke et al, Swiss Federal Institute of technology) , but the site of your sense of control, of being in charge of your actions, is impossible to locate.

Researchers, using different experiments, have identified multiple brain regions that seem to be responsible for your sense of control. Cognitive philosopher, Thomas Metzinger (Johannes Gutenberg University, Germany) has stated, it seems the self is both everywhere and nowhere, that there is hardly a brain region untouched. He interprets this to mean that the self, as an entity, is an illusion. There is no concrete thing called self.

You are fooled by your brain into believing that you are substantial and unchanging, but in reality there is no constant self. In fact there are several mental disorders such as depersonalisation disorder and schizophrenia, in which the sense of self is lost, which suggests the brain is working hard to maintain this illusion. Some studies show that even your memories of self are constantly changing and that when you look back at the past, you remember the details differently, thus everything is in a state of flux.

So if there is no constant entity we call "self" then why are we here, and where do we come from? It was Buddha who first tried to explain the concept of "no self", in which you are merely a fleeting collection of thoughts and sensations. He taught that the sense of being a permanent, autonomous self is an illusion and that there is no living being in control, and that thoughts and feelings are just happening. Through the practice of meditation, he described how everything arises out of nothing and goes back to nothing. All your words, your experiences, arise in the present, exist as forms for a short while, and then disappear into nothingness. Like the weather, thoughts and feelings change, as does your body, and the more deeply you look, you realize that you possess nothing within or without.

So what is this soup of nothingness from which things appear and into which things disappear. Do your thoughts have any effect on this nothingness, and what about your actions? To simplify matters we can call this nothingness, which is like a field of energy, "pure consciousness". It forms the basis for all living things and it is everywhere, but we can't see it.

In meditation, with focused and deep attention, you experience a greater sense of this emptiness everywhere but what is also revealed is a connection between all things. Essentially everything shares this consciousness and you realize how each experience and event is connected. Just as the teacher depends on the student, so is the student dependent on the teacher. Similarly, just as an insect feeds from a flower, the flower is dependent on the insect for pollination.

Such connections exist because every entity is part of this sea of nothingness, a spaciousness which is often referred to as the universal consciousness. The universal consciousness is like an intelligent energy form. We cannot see it or measure it yet, but everything arises from it and disappears back into it. More importantly it is the real "you" which exists in the background to your mind and body. You may like to think of it as your consciousness or your awareness, or the one that perceives things, but it doesn't really exist as a discrete entity, for it is part of a universal consciousness that all entities belong to.

Science has already shown evidence for its existence and how electrons move and appear to be connected within it, but as yet there is no comprehensive understanding of how this consciousness works. One thing is certain though, that as a living thinking being, you are but a small drop of consciousness in this vast ocean of universal consciousness. Just a drop...

That may not seem very special, but like a drop of rare fortified wine, or a drop of the finest, most exquisite perfume, your individual drop of consciousness is important and what you contribute to being in this world does matter. The problem is finding your role in the universal consciousness.

Zen Buddhism shows you that by taking the position of "no position" in this vast space, you can better understand your role in the universal consciousness. One of the main ways of doing this is through meditation. When you meditate not only do you break through the illusion of self and this thing you call your identity, but you also experience a deeper sense of knowing or spiritual insight which can help you navigate through this world. Furthermore, through regular meditation and the other spiritual practices discussed in this book, your awareness is expanded and you can learn to flow with the universal consciousness. Ultimately, this leads to a lightness of heart, and a joy in being alive as you discover a greater sense of purpose for living.

Meditation, as a practice, has existed for centuries, with Hindu spiritual traditions using meditation as far back as 5,000 years ago, as a means of getting closer to God. Later on, the religions of Christianity, Islam, and Judaism had their own forms of meditation with meditative practices being used for prayer and study, including the use of repetition and certain physical postures.

However, it was when 'the Buddha' first reached enlightenment by meditating under a Bodhi tree in 500 BC, that there was a major shift in how meditation was used. Instead of using it solely for religious purposes, the practice became a means of realizing one's connection with all things, and as a means of finding spiritual insight. But you don't have to sit under a tree to find insight. As you may have already discovered, meditation can be practised pretty much anywhere; on a train, on a bus...even in a doctor's waiting room or in a shop queue.

Meditation, as a word, comes from the latin root "meditatum", which means "to ponder". To ponder or mull is over things is sometimes necessary, but in modern times many different forms of meditation have emerged which don't always involve contemplation. In fact, meditation is now often used to relinquish our hold on the thought process. Rather than giving our thoughts due consideration, instead we let them go.

The reasons for practising meditation are many and varied. Some people meditate for relaxation or to cure insomnia and such health benefits are now scientifically documented. Others want to experience altered states of consciousness, such as out of body experiences and visions, and are looking for the 'wow' factor. Many still want to emulate 'the Buddha' and use meditation in an attempt to find enlightenment and attain a permanent state of bliss. At the very least, meditation opens up your awareness and the way you perceive the world...but more on this later.

When I began to meditate thirty years ago, I had no such specific intention, but was merely curious as to where this practice would lead me. As a child, I'd spend long periods of time spent in contemplation and so learning to meditate as an adult, was a natural progression. At the time, I recognised that it made me feel good, but what I didn't realise back then was that it would have lasting effects on my brain, my body, and even my attitude towards life.

As the years went by, I set aside around twenty minutes a day to meditate and cycled through several different forms of meditation. I began by chanting a mantra to keep my focus, and later concentrated on bringing my awareness to my body and the sensations within it. Gradually I noticed there was a distinct change in my demeanour immediately after meditating which stretched out over time, till it became part of my intrinsic essence.

This began as a feeling of calmness, but later I developed a sense of knowing that my consciousness (my drop in the ocean) was somehow separate from my body, my thoughts and my emotions. Initially, this was just an intellectual knowing or understanding, which is an important prelude to a spiritual awakening. However, through a series of profound shifts in perception, I came to physically experience my part in the universal consciousness (more on this in chapter 1), and I felt intense moments of joy through sharing this consciousness with all living things.

At that stage I had already begun to ask myself 'Who am I and why am I here?' The phrase, "I am..." seemed to have no definitive ending, so the possible answers seemed infinite. I realised it made far more sense to view myself as part of a continuum, something far greater that went on forever. But what do you call this continuum? Is it forever...ness, unlimited...ness, and what about everyone else? Are they part of it too?

It took me a while to realise that consciousness does not need a name, a description, it cannot be classified - it simply is. Like an energy form it cannot be seen but yet gives rise to everything and we are all a part of it. My sense of this consciousness was that it exists as part of something far greater than my personal identity. That it's shared by everyone.

Only later did I come to realise that my identity is not real, but merely a construct of my ego. As part of the mind/body complex, my ego thrives on being special by having a name, and certain characteristics which are considered uniquely my own. My identity which is developed throughout life, and which I considered to be my true self, was actually an illusion. This "I am" whether it be, I am a loving, caring mother, or I am a dedicated and experienced teacher, or some other classification, was something my ego created to give me a sense of being important.

And whilst the ego has a purpose in human survival and socialisation, this notion of self and its associated identity is false. It is but an illusion, for I am consciousness, and it is through consciousness that I gain my awareness of the world. My part of the universal consciousness continues strong and silent within whilst everything else changes around it. My body grows old and my moods change, and with my journey through life, come the experiences which colour my memories. The real "I", my drop of consciousness, this ever present stillness, remains there in the background, able to weather all storms.

Furthermore, through adopting the practice of mindfulness-based meditation, my awareness of that ever present stillness within became enhanced. Unlike some other forms of meditation, the focus in mindfulness-based meditation is on the present moment, on the now, rather than some future expectation of something about to happen. As my awareness of the present moment grew, I began to notice that my response to the world became more intuitive and more in line with the universal consciousness which connects all living things. There was a certain flow to life which I was now a part of.

Through a series of seemingly miraculous awakening experiences, I was able to take the position of the witness, the pure consciousness or awareness looking out through my eyes, and this completely changed my view of the world. It was like having lived my entire life in a dream and then realising I'd missed out the best bits because I'd been asleep.

My ego and personal identity began to fade into insignificance. External factors such as what type of car I should drive or how much money I should have in the bank had a lesser influence on me. The constant barrage of thoughts, which jostled for my attention, was diminishing. Mindfulness-based meditation allowed this to happen naturally because the gap between thoughts became wider as my awareness expanded.

However, it wasn't all plain sailing. It took a long time to stop being so reactive to external factors in my environment. The storms, when they come, often come thick and fast. Sometimes that impulsive part of the brain, the amygdala, and the 'fright or flight' mechanism fuelled by adrenaline, ends up being engaged. At times, I found myself in an acute state of stress and I lost touch with that awareness which had opened me up to the universal consciousness. Such stress, if it is constant, causes havoc on our bodies and our minds.

Mindfulness-based meditation can alleviate the stress response by making permanent and positive changes to the brain. By adopting a regular meditation practice I was able to ride through many of the rough patches which threatened to turn my world upside down.

However, this book is not solely about how to meditate or how mindfulness meditation can change your life, it's also about stripping away the layers of our false identity, and learning how to recognise the triggers which make us reactive and bring extra stress into our lives. It is about recognising the real "you", the consciousness that's part of something greater which unites all living things.

This happens in stages as consciousness reveals itself with its own timing, but the meditation techniques and breathing exercises in this book are designed to help you along this process to experiencing a spiritual awakening. Experiencing a spiritual awakening is not something that happens at the push of a button, but it is a journey along a pathway of events which expand your awareness. By expanding your awareness and finding the real "you", this naturally leads to more joy in life.

Those magical and seemingly miraculous moments which are so often missed, become a regular part of your existence, and times of acute stress are diminished. By finding your place in this universal consciousness, you find a greater purpose in life and begin to understand how what you contribute is important.

Some of my most profound realisations occurred during my travels around the globe, through meeting people from different cultures and through dealing with the everyday trials you face when you are in a new environment. I have included many such examples in this book, because every time I visited a new country, I faced challenges which revealed simple truths about me. In a sense I was able to unpack the layers of my identity, like the clothing in a suitcase to reveal the real me, the underlying consciousness that's at the core of everyone's being. I was also able to shift my focus from a negative attitude of anticipating the worst, to a positive attitude of noticing what's good in life.

However you choose to reach a spiritual awakening, it is important to realise that this experience is open to everyone. You don't have to be a spiritual guru to live it. The ability to expand your awareness and find the "I am", your spark of divine consciousness, isn't some trophy on a pedestal. It doesn't require hours of retreat into solitude or massive personal upheaval. It's available to everyone, and people respond in many different ways on the journey. For some it is an overwhelming and emotionally intense journey and for others it is just a quiet expansion into bliss.

For me, it led to an intense desire to share my knowledge and experience. Firstly, through leading guided meditation classes to help people find the stillness within, and secondly, through writing this book to share the insights I have learnt. By expanding your awareness, you can open yourself up to the universal consciousness and learn to take advantage of the synchronicities that unfold when you are living a fully awakened life.

Ultimately, I am hoping that others too can experience a better quality of life by recognising who they truly are. I have included the meditation practices and breathing techniques that I have found most beneficial on my own journey and some important insights I have learnt along the way. Everyone's experience on this journey of self -discovery is unique and it's important to remember that there is no final destination for you are forever evolving. Take what you need from this book and have a pleasant trip!
Chapter One – Opening your Awareness

In order to get to the end, sometimes you have to start at the beginning. The most significant change I made to my life was when I took up the practise of daily meditation, some thirty years ago. Initially, when I first began to meditate, I wasn't searching for anything specific. I simply wanted to feel good for a short space of time in my day.

I'd just bought an apartment in an expensive neighbourhood in Melbourne, and was working long hours as a dentist to pay off the mortgage. I was totally engrossed in my work, and so greatly under pressure, that part of my brain had turned off and I was basically walking around like a zombie. Despite living in one of the most beautiful cities on earth with its pristine beaches, wide open parks, and thriving metropolis, all I could focus on was the dull, grey prison walls of my existence.

I'd get up, go to work and sit there in a small room with four walls, injecting needles into patient's gums and boring into sensitive teeth with a drill that sounded like a shrieking hamster. I was carrying out surgical procedures which left me splattered in blood. I was working on people with pain and occasionally inflicting more pain on them to solve their problems. They'd jump, they'd wriggle and sometimes they'd even curse. To say that I was stressed by the end of each day was an understatement. I'd toss and turn through a sleepless night whilst an endless loop of memories from that day was replayed in my mind. Eventually I'd fall asleep from exhaustion, only to find a few hours later that it was already morning. Then I'd force myself to get up and go through it all over again. I knew there had to be a better way to live my life but was at a loss as to how to find it.

Fortunately, a friend of mine had been attending meditation classes and introduced me to some of the techniques he'd learnt. Initially I was sceptical. How could sitting there, just focusing inwards, help to improve my life? At that time I had no real understanding of what meditation was about. I was worried that by going inwards I might only exacerbate my pain. Still, I had no other answers so I figured it was worth a try.

The classes my friend attended were run by a protégé of the late Dr. Ainslie Meares, who is widely credited for having inspired the meditation movement in Australia. Dr. Meares was one of the first Australians to recognise that not only did meditation result in a relaxed state of mind with less anxiety, but it also had a wide range of medical benefits such as providing relief from pain and reducing drug dependence. With considerable guidance from my friend, I learnt how to use meditation to quieten the mind and find some peace within.

At first I found it difficult to meditate, as a whole stream of thoughts would be buzzing around in my head. No sooner had one thought left then another would emerge, jostling to find room in my headspace. It was like a football match in there. One thought would lead to another. My brain would be kicking the ball around but I never actually kicked a goal, and the match would never end.

Gradually, through the regular daily practise of meditation, for no more than twenty minutes each day, I began to experience a series of shifts in my perception. The thoughts began to lessen in their frequency and as my mind grew quiet and the space between my thoughts grew larger, I began to sense there was some silent presence behind my thoughts.

I didn't understand what this presence was but it seemed to have no borders, associated with an unlimited spaciousness, like an endless night sky. Sometimes referred to as 'stillness", this presence seemed to have its own unique vibrational frequency which was quite different from that of the thinking mind.

I found that by silently repeating the mantra "letting go" I could easily find this stillness, where all thought had disappeared. If I stayed there long enough, I would find myself falling into a vast blackness, a deep void, much like Alice in Wonderland falling down a rabbit hole. In this endless space, I would remain floating, no longer aware of my body and completely unaware of how much time had passed. It felt so peaceful, I could've stayed like that forever, but eventually my mind would intrude and my thoughts would reappear, beckoning me back to my daily existence.

In my early years of meditation, I experienced many altered states of consciousness whilst in this space. Occasionally I'd see colours and visions. Unrecognisable faces would appear and disappear, followed by visions of crystal palaces, fields of flowers, and marble monuments. Such experiences are apparently quite common in extremely deep states of meditation. They are connected with a feeling of complete bliss and compassion. If a meditator reaches the epsilon brain wave state of mind, he can gain profound spiritual and personal insights and creative inspiration. Epsilon brain waves have extremely low frequency (< 0.5 Hz) and do not occur during normal wakeful states.

In full waking consciousness, an EEG of the brain shows that the brainwaves are high frequency beta waves (>13.5 Hz). During the earlier stages of meditation, brainwaves change to lower frequency alpha waves (7.5-13.5Hz) resulting in a deep form of relaxation and passive receptivity. Even lower frequency brainwaves occur in dreaming (theta waves 3.5-7.5 Hz) and in dreamless, deep sleep (delta 0.5 - 4 Hz).

After a few years of daily meditation, I also began to have out of body experiences. During these moments, I would lift outside my body in a trance-like state, seemingly free to roam wherever I chose. On one such occasion I even visited the local park whilst out of my body, and hovered on a grassy bank watching the river below. It was a bit odd because it was late in the evening and I don't usually hang out in deserted parks alone. Alas, as soon as I stopped meditating, I was quickly jolted back to full waking consciousness and the confines of my body. Apparently, such experiences are not unusual when in a very deep meditative state. They are associated with a combination of epsilon brain waves and lambda brain waves (> 200 Hz). Due to their extremely high frequency and low amplitude, lambda waves are very hard to detect, even on an EEG.

At times, when I left my body, I became fearful that if stayed away too long, I wouldn't be able to get back and would end up dead. I'd force myself to return by hurtling back into my body with a shuddering force. On more than one occasion, when I'd left my body, I'd find myself plunging down a long, dark tunnel with an intense bright light at the far end. Fearing that such an experience was associated with imminent death, I'd force myself to return to my body as quickly as possible.

Despite reaching very deep states of meditation, the peace and serenity that I experienced in these states, was never truly sustained in waking life. The moment I returned to work, all the thoughts and stressful emotions that were part of my day, came flooding back. It soon became clear to me that these altered states of consciousness during meditation were merely a form of escapism. I wanted to find peace in my everyday life, during times of work as well as times of rest.

Gradually, I began to hear about a different form of meditation called mindfulness-based meditation. It was about learning to live in the present moment and was grounded in reality, so I shifted my focus to that. During meditation I began to expand my awareness through breathing and watching and observing. My thoughts remained fewer and farther apart even when I wasn't meditating, and I could feel the essence of what I truly was behind the thoughts, the real "me".

Soon I began to bring that expanded awareness even more into my everyday life, during everyday activities like walking the dog and driving the car. I felt a shift in my perception that was gradual but tangible. The chatter in my head had stopped or disappeared into the background, and now I could focus on being alive.

It was like a veil being lifted from my eyes and I began to really understand the true nature of my existence. I began to really sense what it was to be pure consciousness. At times I experienced intense feelings of joy as I wandered through the local park with my dog or when I watched life teeming around me. For me these feelings of joy were not sustained, only temporary, but they did provide brief and intense moments of insight.

Many Buddhists and Hindus refer to these states of bliss as "Samadhi", a word which comes from the Sanskrit language where the root "sam" means 'integrate', "a" means 'towards', and "dha" means 'to get or to hold'. Thus, the literal meaning of Samadhi is 'to acquire integrity, or wholeness, or truth'.

From my perspective, I could see that perhaps there might be two kinds of Samadhi. One is the kind where you leave this world and your state of mind is forever in ecstasy and in heavenly bliss. The other type, being a milder state of ecstasy, is one that you can experience for brief moments every day, by maintaining the regular practice of meditation.

At that time, during meditation, I simply focused on the stillness behind my thoughts, and began to recognise that the real "me" was this still and silent presence, this spaciousness.

Only after years of meditation and searching, did it finally dawn on me that all living creatures are part of this spaciousness, this awareness. In other words, the consciousness which is looking out through your eyes is the same as what is behind everyone else's as well. Your state of being is not limited to your body and mind. Your body and mind are just the vehicles you inhabit whilst on this earth.

As a society the focus is on the individual; the way you look, your personality and what you do, but the consciousness which you are a part of, which everyone is a part of, moves to its own rhythm and had its own order and purpose.

My gradual awakening into this consciousness allowed me to view the world from a different perspective. It became easier to remain calm and accept things the way they are, the way they are happening right now, rather than trying to put a judgement spin on how they should be.

I was no longer trying to control them to satisfy my ego, which is that part of the mind which tries to direct the way we behave. The ego is constantly giving you directions because its job is to keep you safe. It is that little voice in our head which says "I better not do that, I better not go there." It's also the voice which makes a judgment about everything and tries to maintain your sense of identity, "He's wrong. I know what I'm doing. If I do things my way it will work out better."

There is nothing inherently bad about your ego, in this sense, as it is a function of the mind/body complex which has a strong survival instinct. However, whilst focusing on the ego's demands, you can get trapped in a vicious cycle of thought processes. Most people take ownership of these thought processes, so much so that they grow to believe this is their true self. They begin to assimilate these thoughts and opinions into a personal identity. But thoughts are just forms which come and go from the mind and they can derail you and make you suffer.

What you really are is the consciousness looking out through your eyes. Consciousness is eternal. It is not like the mind or the body which eventually dies. It is part of a greater life force, the universal consciousness. To become spiritually awakened into pure consciousness, you need to quieten the mind and reduce the attention given to your thoughts.

This isn't as easy as it sounds, for your mind is constantly bombarded with external and internal stimuli which generate thoughts, and there seems to be little you can do to control this. The thoughts fill your headspace and dominate your every waking moment. After a while you begin to desire this constant stimulation and start to look for it even when it's not there. How many times have you turned to reach for your phone to fill a spare moment in your day? It seems as a society we have lost the ability to simply sit and be still.

To complicate matters, you are conditioned from early childhood to forge and maintain your own separate identity. Your opinions, your talents, your behavioural traits and your appearance become of paramount importance. Maintaining and protecting your identity becomes the entire focus of your world because you mistakenly believe that your true nature is limited to the confines of your body. With your mind being the managing director, you become heavily invested in listening to your thoughts.

The thoughts come and go and seem to be intrinsic to your wellbeing, so you blindly follow your thoughts, not realising that they are a construct of your ego which wants to maintain the illusion of a separate identity. Your ego tells you, "If he doesn't agree with my opinion then he must be wrong. If I don't get my way then I will suffer." You become reactive, defensive and stressed when things don't fit in with this false identity and you don't realise that you are completely invested in this illusory world of your thoughts.

But if you can break through this illusion and become awakened to your simple pure state of consciousness, your natural state of being when you were born, then you are no longer bound by your thoughts and by the opinions of others, and you can experience the true joy of existence. You can experience the consciousness that is shared by all living things without some sort of false expectation.

How then do you lift the cloud of illusion? How do you alter your perception and become awakened to your true state? How do you get out of this vicious cycle of thinking and reacting and thinking and reacting...?

Some people believe that in order to become awakened you have to be ready to find the real "you", which requires a desire for truth and wisdom in order for it to be revealed. To a certain extent this is true, but having said that, I also believe there are other things you can do to hasten this awakening. This shift in your perception is something that happens outside the intellect so you can't just will your way there. In essence, you have to do the opposite. You have to learn to let go.

By not grasping on to your thoughts and by simply letting them go past in the background, you can expand your awareness and find yourself as part of the universal consciousness. This is your natural state, but most people don't recognise this state because they are attuned to the voice in their head and the constant stream of thoughts passing through.

Over the years I'd experienced many deep states of meditation, where my body was completely relaxed and my thoughts no longer intruded. During those moments I'd felt like I was floating calmly and freely in an unlimited space. This space is pure consciousness.

Remaining in this state of pure consciousness whilst immersed in everyday life is considerably more difficult though. The natural tendency of the mind is to prepare you for what is coming next, and as your thoughts turn to what might happen in the future, a whole range of fearful emotions can arise which can make you feel far from calm. My stressful job as a dentist wasn't helping me to find peace of mind, so I moved into a teaching position at a tertiary institution. I began to practise keeping the negative thoughts at bay. As soon as a "what if" type thought arose, I pushed it aside and focused completely on what was happening there and then.

After a while the incessant chatter in my head began to stop and I was able to become more focused on the present. At these times, I was able to look at the world through calm, knowing eyes rather than escaping into a mind filled with manic thoughts that swirled around endlessly. As I began to clear my mind completely, I also began to look outwards and really observe what was happening around me from moment to moment. I was studying a Fine Arts Degree in my spare time, so learning to observe form and colour came natural to me. It was inevitable that over time I would begin to see things differently.

As I became more focused on the present, I became more aware of the perfect detail in everything and everyone, as I was no longer confined to my own personal head space. I was now enjoying regular walks in some of the beautiful parks around Melbourne, surrounded by towering native gums and subjected to a cacophony of bird sounds from currawongs, kookaburras, and cockatoos. I became completely immersed in my environment and was living totally in the moment.

Despite all this mindfulness and regular meditation, which clearly contributed to my expanding awareness, when the first radical shift in my perception occurred for me, it came completely out of left field and in the most unlikely of places. I was living in a suburban house with my husband and two boys, and one day as I removed my socks before hopping into the shower, I had a sudden epiphany. I suddenly realised, I am nothing and I am everything. That the real "me", not my body and mind but my 'soul', for want of a better word, was part of a greater universal consciousness. There was no external entity called 'God' as I'd previously believed, for I was part of God just like every other living creature, and God was part of me. God was not some external being operating outside in his own separate dimension. He is the universal consciousness.

The 'universal consciousness or God', could perhaps be described as a unified field of intelligent energy that is everything. It is a knowing rather than a knowledge, a feeling rather than some kind of measurable data. It can't be understood intellectually because, as yet, it can't be measured. It appears to go on for eternity and exists outside time. The universal consciousness is intelligent, all knowing, all powerful, creative and omnipresent across all dimensions of space and time. It's not only present in you – IT IS YOU.

There's no separation between you and universal consciousness, or the many names humans give it such as God, the source, the creator, the One. Universal consciousness is an infinite eternal ocean of intelligent energy and each one of us, each soul, is an individual point of consciousness, but a drop of water in that ocean. Where one drop ends and another begins is difficult to determine because there is obvious separation in this unified field of energy. I will clarify this further in Chapter Two, but there is already much scientific evidence for a universal consciousness.

During this spontaneous awakening, I realised the "I am" which I'd struggled to identify for so many years, was not my individual body or mind, but the consciousness that unites us all. At that moment, I realised that I'd been operating in a foggy dream for a very long time, not really aware of my surroundings or the other entities in my world, except perhaps on a superficial level. I was so focused on the thoughts in my head, that I wasn't able to look beyond that to embrace my true nature. I'd stumbled upon a major insight that day, and I began to look at my world differently.

The following day there was another noticeable shift in my awareness. I was driving my kids home from swimming class, when all of a sudden I felt like the real me was sitting two metres behind the driver, observing my own body as it sat at the steering wheel of the car. I was observing myself go through the motions of driving a car and it was a strange experience at the time.

My rational mind told me, if I'm behind my body, then who is actually driving the car? Who was controlling the steering wheel? But then I realised that my body was still functioning normally and had the car under control. I felt no anxiety, no lack of control. I was not dizzy or disoriented. I could see everything with total clarity. I was part of the universal consciousness and at that moment my spirit felt so free, so unhindered by the weight of human existence. I knew at that moment that life was truly precious and that I could face almost anything that it threw at me.

The following week, I was out walking the dog through a beautiful picturesque nature reserve when my awareness shifted yet again. Surrounded by trees, birds and insects I felt like I was one with the world, truly a part of the consciousness that surrounded me. I felt in tune with every bird call, every gust of wind; every leaf on every tree, even the patchy green lichen on the trees. When I heard the cockatoos cry out in the tall gum trees above me, I felt like I was those birds - that their life force was no different from my own. I could understand what it felt like to be those birds, and could sense that I was part of the consciousness that united us. At that moment, we were as one.

The pale green lichen seemed beautiful in a way I had never noticed before, shimmering iridescently on the trunks of the tall stately trees that I walked amongst. I felt a great desire to touch the leaves on the trees, for everything glowed with its own loveliness. Every wildflower seemed special. Even the mud and the weeds had a place in this world that was beautiful. Everything was as it should be. There was no longer any barrier that separated me from this consciousness. Although I was aware that my body still walked along the path, the real "me", the spiritual part, was somehow part of this wider existence.

This was not some dream-like state. It was not a hallucination or a drug-induced state. Everything was clear and real and I was totally aware of being part of this world. I could feel my spirit venture outside its ego-driven body and could see through the eyes of the universal consciousness and the freedom and elation I felt was wonderful. On more than one occasion, I had this strange but pleasant sensation of being positioned outside my body as it continued to function as normal. Without any provocation or forethought, I would suddenly feel like I was observing my body from a far distance. As part of this consciousness, I became the watcher. I knew that my body was just a vehicle for my spirit to reside in. It was not the real "me".

This brings to mind what the famous German philosopher, Gurdieff, once said: "Remember that you are a witness, just a consciousness – neither an act nor a thought."

The Indian philosopher and yogi, Patanjali, put it quite succinctly when he said: "You are never the experiencer. You are always the awareness of the experience. When you say, 'I am hungry', what you really mean is 'I am conscious the body is hungry.'

Some Hindus go even further and describe the world as a 'maya' or a magic show. Nothing is really there as we think it is. Everything only appears to be there because we experience it through the limited scope of our senses.

Through your senses and the visual receptors in your eyes, you see the world in the range of colours of the UV spectrum. Some animals, such as cats, only see a few colours because their visual receptors are different. In fact, much of the way you see things and perceive things is largely based upon programming within the brain which sets up memories of the shapes of familiar objects and sends you messages telling you what you are looking at. For example, children at a very young age are able to recognise their mother's face. It appears that you build upon this recognition of shapes as you grow older. So you instantly know that a certain rectangular shape with four wheels is a car, a trunk with foliage is a tree, and so on.

Your senses are limited though and there are many things you can't see, but that doesn't mean they are not there. You can't see x-rays or the non-ionizing radiation from microwaves and radios, but yet you can measure them and know they exist.

When you expand your awareness, you can move beyond the limited scope of the senses and the prefabricated world that you're programmed to recognise. As the witness, you realise you're beyond normal experience, you're not in the body, you're not in the mind, you're beyond both.

I can understand how for some people, this feeling of being outside the body could be perceived as odd or even frightening. But for me it has always been an intensely positive experience. I'd be briskly walking, working up a sweat, with my pulse racing and my heart pumping and yet I'd feel no pain or discomfort. It was as if I was watching the physical exertion happen to someone else. You might get the sense that you're no longer in control, because of course, as part of the universal consciousness, you're no longer under the illusion that you are your own director. But rather than feeling fear, I experienced feelings of freedom and elation.

Some neuroscientists have tried to rationalise such an experience by linking it to a physical mechanism such as a vestibular disorder of the ear. Such disorders do exist and involve spatial disorientation which can be generated within the temporal lobe of the brain. However, such experiences are preceded by dizziness and other symptoms and have been described as disconcerting and unpleasant.

Psychologists have also documented similar conditions which are labelled as depersonalisation or derealisation disorders. However, in such instances, suffering is experienced by the loss of self, not bliss. The person usually has a history of anxiety and depression linked to some traumatic event in the past. Hence they literally lose themselves as a kind of protective mechanism. Contrary to my experience, these sufferers describe feelings of panic at being located outside the body. For some it is like being in a foggy dream-like state.

The difference here is that everything to me seemed clearer, not dream-like. I felt joy not suffering. Reality was magnified, more intense, for as my awareness was expanded I could see things that previously went unnoticed. I could experience the life force with all its power and magic and it was wonderful.

I personally went on to have many such experiences of expanded awareness, especially when I went on my daily dog walks through the nature reserve. In the Zen Buddhist tradition, such glimpses of your true essence are referred to as Kensho, whereas a deeper spiritual understanding of your true nature is referred to as Satori, though many people use the terms Kensho and Satori interchangeably. In the Christian tradition, you could describe such moments as mystical experiences.

Regardless of what you call them, describing them in words seems wholly inadequate. My true nature as part of the universal consciousness was revealed to me and therefore what was happening to my body and my mind seemed irrelevant because I became aware that I'm not them.

Being completely divorced from your own body is a strange sensation but one that provides great clarity. I noticed that when I was surrounded by nature, such experiences were common. When I was immersed in nature, I was calmer and more in tune with the world than when I was in a crowded city where my ego-driven body became swamped with thoughts.

Having experienced this greater universal consciousness, I began to receive insights into the reason for our existence. I began to realise that I'm part of God and he is part of me. God isn't a separate entity, but a divine force or essence.

You could describe God as absolute, pure presence – he doesn't do anything, but by his presence things happen. God is a very powerful all-consuming energy of infinite wisdom. When you wake up to your place in the universal consciousness you can tap into this wisdom and you can see that everything that God has created is perfect, both the good and the bad.

The universe, as you know it, was not created out of matter, but from consciousness. It was created from nothing, as an expression of thought. Each individual point of consciousness has the freedom and will to express itself and some of these points of consciousness have a physical experience here on Earth as humans. You have the ability to conceive, imagine and create and you're an infinite, eternal being. The nature of universal consciousness is your nature. You have creative power in which everything is possible.

By realising you're part of this universal consciousness, you're able to move beyond merely physically existing. I felt a true joy in being alive as part of this consciousness. I felt myself laughing at the simplest things: the way the children around me were playing, the way the birds in the trees were jostling for food. I felt like I understood what nature was really about. I'd pass a kookaburra pecking for worms under a tree and rather than flying away it would give me this look and it was like tapping into another language.

Even during the darkest of times, I could look around and rejoice in the fact that I was alive. I found my general outlook on life became more positive as I realised my mind's petty concerns could not affect the real "me", the "I am" that was part of this consciousness. It was only when I let myself become swamped by my thoughts and kept focusing on my false identity that I began to feel miserable. When you do this, your problems become magnified and exaggerated. This results in needless suffering because whilst thinking about your problems you can be misled into believing that the very worst case scenario of events will happen. The only reality though is the present moment.

You may choose to believe these thoughts, that perhaps certain people don't like you or are judging you, or that you will lose your job or fail an important test, but in the end they are just thoughts and the only judge is inside your head. Even if you do experience harsh words from someone who actually dislikes you, or something bad happens, the moment often passes quickly and you learn to ride through these difficulties and disappointments.

Becoming awakened to your pure consciousness allows you to face such problems with a calmer frame of mind, for you identify less with your personal character and become less reactive to the bad things in your life. In turn, this allows you to focus more on positive, uplifting experiences and find your unique contribution to this world as consciousness flows through you and around you.

So many people become defensive when someone disagrees with them. Their opinions become part of this manufactured identity which is really only a slave to their ego. They then become completely invested in proving that these opinions or thoughts are right or correct which only causes antagonism in those around them.

There's nothing wrong with having opinions, but if you become completely invested in worrying about what people think of you or whether or not they agree with you, then you will only experience suffering. Whether this suffering manifests in the form of anger or lack of confidence or a feeling of being misunderstood, matters not. All of these feelings detract from your general feeling of joy and contentment. Ultimately they are just different shades of unhappiness.

As consciousness flows in and around you, the opportunities for shaping your world are endless. Every piece of consciousness directly or indirectly affects every other piece of consciousness. Controlled scientific experiments have already shown that consciousness can affect physical reality. These experiments will be discussed in more detail in the next chapter, but essentially it is the intention of the observer in these experiments which has the ability to change physical reality. The effects of the observer's intention range, from a change in the pathway of electrons, to a change in the behaviour of computer algorithms. In one experiment, the focused intentions of a group of people caused the growth of plants to speed up.

Intention may be defined as something planned or desired and driven by aim and purpose. Experiments have shown that intentions or focused thoughts can cause effects across wide spaces and across time boundaries (see Chapter 2). Intentions are clearly powerful, but it is not yet fully understood how they bring about physical effects and to state that a particular intention will bring about a definitive effect is a bit pre-emptive as we just don't know enough about intentions to know how they can be used to shape our world.

I believe that there's already too much emphasis on thinking and not enough emphasis on living in the moment. How often do you stop to look around and enjoy the magic that is happening around you? Thoughts often become exaggerated in your head, where they can take on a life of their own, leaving you feeling stressed and anxious. In this sense, your thoughts can become a burden, as you begin to believe the stories inside your head, most of which are often fiction

Actions are clearly different. When you do something, the physical effects are usually immediately tangible. You don't need a scientific experiment to show how important your actions are or even how they can come back to haunt you at a later date. Take the example of the criminal who assaults or murders someone and thinks they've got away with it. Not only must they remain defensive, always looking over their shoulder, but their crime produces a ripple on effect. As a result of the criminal's actions and the actions of others around them, evidence soon emerges, and eventually their part in the crime is revealed. Either through a life spent in guilt or in hiding, or by going to prison, one way or another, the perpetrator of the crime is punished.

If your actions are positive and uplifting, the same effects seem to be true. Examples of this are seen every day. You buy someone a bunch of flowers or a gift and the gratitude you receive is felt deep within your consciousness, giving you an instant lift.

How you think and act, comes down your to individual awareness. By being awakened to your true self, your part in this universal consciousness, you can make a more positive contribution to the world. Although some writers claim you do not possess an individual soul or spirit, stating that you are just part of the general consciousness, I believe there is some essence that is intrinsically yours and this carries over from one life to the next.

Every part of this consciousness fits together like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle and, in that sense every piece is unique or special whilst still contributing to the whole. Life in itself is a wondrous gift but as Eckhart Tolle writes: when you become awakened you are in this world but 'not of this world'. You are life so you can't possess 'a life'. There is no 'my life', because you are simply part of consciousness, a spark of the divine which is linked with every other spark of the divine in a spiritual continuum.

Some of you may be asking: Is this all there is? Are we just a part of this never ending life continuum, this universal consciousness? Is there no greater significance for human existence? In fact, you could argue that by existing as part of a general consciousness, that there was no need to be born into a body at all.

However, with a body and a mind, you experience both physical and emotional pain, you experience love and joy, and you experience adversity. Through experience, your individual consciousness, or soul, is able to expand and evolve.

If you believe in reincarnation like I do, then it explains how every person can be at a different stage of spiritual evolution based on their karmic experience from their past lives. It also explains why some souls who have learnt many of life's lessons already are highly evolved, and why souls that are still working through major issues are less evolved. Numerous lifetimes of human experience can shape our part in the universal consciousness, making our contribution truly unique.

Much of what you learn is through struggle and adversity. By experiencing difficult situations and coming through them you grow and learn and that is part of the evolution of your individual spirit and the collective consciousness you are a part of. You learn from your mistakes, you learn how to treat other people, how to forgive, and how to work through the emotions of anger, disappointment, and grief. Essentially, you evolve as you grow.

If you put it another way, the lessons you learn contribute not only to your personal growth but in a positive way to the world. Therefore, the general consciousness, that you are part of, also expands and grows. So in essence, God (or the divine source), also continues to grow.

Sadly, many people struggle to acknowledge how truly special they are and what they have to give. This brings me to the story of the elephant and the snake.

The story goes something like this...

There's this elephant and he's walking through the jungle and he meets this snake. "Why do you think God put you on this earth?" he asks the snake.

"So I can kill all the mice that eat all the grain that the other animals need to live", the snake answered.

"So why do the other animals fear you so much if you're keeping them alive by saving the grain."

"Because they see me only as a snake, and everyone knows that snakes hiss and bite and kill with their venom."

The elephant nods his head in understanding.

And the snake asks, "So why do you think God may have put you on this earth?"

"I'm not really sure, but he must like big creatures because there's no living animal bigger than an elephant. It's good because I get to crush my enemies."

"And who are your enemies?"

"Mice are my enemies. I really don't like mice."

"So if you and I both want to kill the mice, then why did God give the mice the gift of life in the first place?"

"Well, he must like small creatures like mice and the mice give us a reason for being here..."

"So how does God benefit from us all being here? What does he get out of it?"

"God doesn't need a reason for creating us. He's the consciousness that drives life itself so he just lets us live."

This simple story may make you question, why do you even need to evolve? Why can't you just exist? Like the elephant and the snake, why can't you just live and enjoy your life day to day? Naturally, everybody has the opportunity to enjoy their day to day life, but through their spiritual evolution they can also contribute to the greater consciousness. By expanding your consciousness, you can better contribute to the universal consciousness, and bring more meaning to your life.

However, expanding your consciousness and becoming more awakened doesn't make your life perfect and it certainly doesn't turn you into a saint. You still experience life with all its highs and lows, but the way you respond to situation begins to change. There is an increasing sense of calmness as you watch things arise then dissipate like waves on an ocean. As Tolle once said: "Thoughts, emotions, events – they are all just forms. They appear and then disappear."

People become miserable because they think the forms (thoughts and emotions) are all that there is. They identify completely with the forms and don't enjoy the present moment. Over time they have come to identify with their physical selves and see themselves as separate from universal consciousness. They see themselves as solo players, but this separation is all in their minds – it's impossible to exist outside of everything.

Even my own shift in pure consciousness, was not permanent or sustained. When I allowed myself to become preoccupied by my thoughts or my worries, I was very much back in my mind. My ego took over as I analysed past events and future expectations, putting a judgement spin on things. Only by staying in the moment was I able to immerse myself in this new state of consciousness, leaving material concerns behind.

It was as if I was an actor, and Laura Celna was the part I had been given to play. The real "me" could detach from that role like a spectator in the audience. The real "me" was calm, unfazed by the dilemmas of Laura Celna. The real "me" could see things and accept them. It was pure awareness – what is, simply is.

A lot of people are heavily invested in the role they are playing, their assumed identity, which they have built up and refined since childhood. They wear certain clothes, they wear their hair a certain way, and maybe they act and talk a certain way. Other people support this false identity because they define you by what you do, where you live, and how much money you earn, but the reality is that none of that matters. The identity you assume and the name you carry is not you. The real 'you' is pure consciousness, and when you wake up to that realization it can be quite confronting and also immensely liberating. Suddenly all these constructs built up around who you are supposed to be and how you are supposed to behave, no longer exist. Consciousness is all there is and once you have a spiritual awakening, none of the extraneous things that other people value such as the way you look, hold any importance.

Suddenly, it no longer matters whether you grow a beard or you wear purple clothes all the time or you carry a Gucci handbag. It no longer matters whether you have a respectable job as an accountant or you spend your days doing base jumping or fishing next to the local lake. Life is opened up to you with all its possibilities, and as pure consciousness you realize there is a flow to life which is not dependent on what your name is or who your friends are or any of those constructs which you have built up to shape your identity. Consciousness is all there is and all you can be. Consciousness is all there has ever been.

You may well ask, is such a spiritual awakening a spontaneous event, or is it possible for everybody to recognise their true state as pure consciousness? The answer is that everybody can wake up to who they are as consciousness but this awakening tends to be hastened in those who are searching for meaning in their life. In some rare people, there is no particular catalyst for experiencing a spiritual awakening, and it arises spontaneously and quickly, but in most people there is a gradual build up to a spiritual awakening preceded by a lot of soul searching.

Sometimes this build up comes to a climax during a trauma or a period of intense stress. The person begins to question everything about reality, including who they really are and why they are here. Like a veil being lifted, all is revealed and they come to a rapid realization that the identity they once placed such a high importance on, doesn't really exist. They are conscious awareness. That is all. And consciousness is universally shared by everyone. It is what is looking through your eyes and mine.

If consciousness is all there is, then you may ask, where exactly is this consciousness? Is it inside your body or all around you like a shroud? Some might even wonder whether it is part of some other dimension that only the lucky can tap into.

The more my awareness expanded, the clearer my understanding of this universal consciousness became. If you understand that scientifically, pure, white light is made of many colours, you can get a better understanding of this notion of universality. Soon after you are born you begin to develop an identity, you are given a name. You learn that you are different from other people, much like an individual colour with its own wavelength, red or orange or yellow. But the individual colours are all really part of this pure white light. In other words, your spirit is really part of a universal consciousness. It is only when the white light is broken up by a prism to become a rainbow that you can see separate colours. When you manifest on this earth inside a physical body you feel separate, but the reality is that we are all united as spiritual energy. Many of us never realise this though.

I found many parallels between the way energy is defined in science and the way this consciousness operates. For example, in quantum physics we are told that light can act like both a particle and a wave depending on how you look at it. I began to see an allegory between the way light works and the way we function. When you awaken and you function as part of the universal consciousness you definitely function like the wave, moving in a smooth linear fashion unhindered and enveloping everything. Unfortunately, most of us are unaware of our true nature in this consciousness, so instead we act like we are just our bodies and our minds. We behave like individual particles, seemingly out of sequence with each other as we follow our own random path; occasionally colliding and then separating again.

It is important to bear in mind that as part of a universal consciousness, your consciousness is linked to everyone else's. When you form relationships with other people, it is so easy to judge other people, to try to make them conform to your point of view, your way of doing things. But you must be aware that there is no them and us, no absolute right way of being or absolute wrong way of being, we are all one.

It is frightening of course to realise you are part of a greater consciousness because you don't want to lose your identity for that would mean a loss of control. But as the wise philosopher, Nisgardatta, once said: "You're not actually driving the car. It's driving itself."

Therefore you can't control the car because the car is the universal consciousness and it moves to its own rhythm. All you can do is accept your part in the expansion of the universal consciousness by what you personally contribute to the world. You can't control exactly how that journey happens as consciousness is like a chain reaction which affects everything, but it doesn't mean resigning yourself to fate either, for everyone has free will. Only you can decide on how you behave and what actions you want to take. The key is gaining a greater understanding of your role in this life and working towards contributing in a positive way to the expanding universal consciousness. If you can calmly accept your role in the universal consciousness, then it is easier to live through the highs and lows of life.

Every person is born with particular talents and everyone has a part to play, however small or large that part may be. If you can tune into what it is that you can give to the world, you can contribute to the universal consciousness in your own special way.

Your social standing in this world is not a measure of your true success in life. A famous celebrity or a wealthy entrepreneur may fail to live up to their full potential by squandering their talents. Lured by a desperate need to acquire more fame and money, a wealthy or powerful person could easily stray down the wrong path into self-aggrandizement. Sometimes the most humble people are the ones who have the greatest wisdom. They are the ones who end up truly making a difference, because they don't look at life as what they can get from it, but more in terms of what they can give.

A successful life lived could well be one where you have tried to meet the challenges before you with the best interests of humanity in mind. Without trampling over anyone, or criticizing and judging your fellow travellers, you know what it is that you must do and just get on with it.

Of course, the challenges of inhabiting a body/mind can make even the most stoical of people, put up their hands in defeat. That is why the people I most admire are those who have endured great pain and have still managed to find purpose; the parents who through loss of a child have devoted themselves to charity, the cancer sufferers who have fought their disease and lobbied for research to find a cure. They are the ones who live with pain every single day but still walk with a smile on their face and can inspire only the best in us.

It is easy to judge others, especially if they are perceived through the lens of your narrow vision as being different from you. However, that judgement is often driven by your ego which tries to imply that what you are doing is right and what others are doing is wrong. When you operate outside the ego, outside its incessant demands for conformity, it is easier to find understanding and compassion towards others. It doesn't make you into a saint, but it just becomes easier for you to get along with others. By sensing that you are united with others in the universal consciousness, all your differences no longer seem important. In fact, you can embrace such differences as part of the worldly experience everyone has to go through.

So how do you tap into the universal consciousness and change your awareness? How do you shed the false limitations of your ego and experience the bountiful joy in your existence? You can't think your way there for your thoughts might ultimately derail you, so you must learn to simply be in the moment. More importantly you must recognise that inherent silent presence within and not become invested too much in the external factors swirling around you, many of which are outside your control anyway.

Much has been written about living in the now, about savouring the present moment, and how to banish the stressful thoughts which focus on your past and your future. Practicing mindfulness is a positive step that can take you in the right direction and I will expand on how you can do that in chapter 3. However, I believe there are other steps you can take to help you truly lift the false barrier that separates you from knowledge of the universal consciousness.

It may not be enough to lose your attachment to the trappings of this world. It may not be enough to foster a state of acceptance when things don't go your way. You need to completely change your attitude to life and realise you're not your body and you're not your mind. Your identity does not define you. You have no borders and no barriers. Just reflect on this notion: I am nothing and I am everything.

In the eternal wisdom and spaciousness of the universal consciousness you have the ability to source knowledge, to create new things, and to use your intuition to solve problems. Your sense of purpose and reason for existing becomes clearer as you realise this great potential that you have to make a difference. Your sense of joy increases as you experience this life force, this pure awareness.

It may be difficult for you to conceptualise what pure awareness really means. The best way I can describe it is as a seeing, a feeling and a knowing which exists outside the limited confines of the human body and mind. You can learn to recognise it in meditation and in being mindful.

It's not the voice inside your head which generates your thoughts. That voice is your ego, making judgements, many of which are conditioned by previous experience. You know the ones I mean. "I can't eat that piece of cake. It will make me look fatter. I wonder why that woman is staring at me. Perhaps she thinks I look weird. Maybe I would feel happier if I bought those new shoes. My friend has shoes like that and he always looks happy..."

The thought cycle is endless and ultimately such habitual thinking patterns can make you miserable and can cause a lot of unnecessary worry. When you recognise yourself as pure awareness, you become detached from those thoughts and can function in a more positive and meaningful way.

On the following page, I have described a simple walking meditation to help you find your true self as pure awareness. Its aim is to help you distance yourself from the ego-driven thought cycle inside your head. It is important to try this meditation in an area free from distractions, such as an open park or on a walking track away from traffic and other people. Walk slowly and focus not on your surroundings but the space you occupy.

Walking Meditation:

Begin your walk by taking three deep breaths. As you breathe in constrict your stomach muscles and expand your chest. Feel the breath move through your sinuses and into the top of your head. Hold for 5-10 seconds and exhale. Find your natural breathing rhythm, whilst focusing on positive thoughts (think of something or someone that makes you feel happiness, love, joy, inspiration). Keep those positive feelings with you as you continue to walk.

Study your surrounding environment. Look carefully at the details; the leaves on the trees, the shape and texture of the plants.

As you continue walking bring your focus to your eyes, and who is looking out through your eyes. Find the space that the viewer/observer occupies inside your body. It may be just behind your eyes, or it may feel deeper. Sometimes it helps if you close your eyes momentarily to find where you are located inside your body.

Now picture that this same awareness, this witness is moving outside your body. Sense the spaciousness around you, you have no boundaries, you can move freely in any direction: left, right, up and down. Open your eyes and try to imagine there is no boundary between you and the trees, between you and the birds.

Keep walking slowly and try to imagine that you are now part of all the living things around you. What is it like to be a tree, a bird or a rock? Really feel into this experience and the life force flowing through you. If your mind becomes filled with thoughts, push them away and just focus on your present surroundings.

Continue to do this throughout your walk, sensing the spacious presence and living awareness you occupy in your world.
Chapter Two – What is Universal Consciousness?

At its most basic level, the universe is not composed of matter, but a unified field of intelligence which, I have already made reference to, as the universal consciousness. Quantum Physics has already proved this scientifically, but many people are not convinced, because they prefer to believe in a world of things that they can see and touch.

Whether you believe it or not, we are all aspects of this consciousness. The universal consciousness includes: every electron, every atom, every single speck of dust, every rock, every tree, every person and every animal. All matter and all energy emanate from this universal consciousness, they are all part of something greater which unites everything - consciousness. Or as Aristotle put it, the whole is something greater than the sum of its parts.

Just as electrons are individually charged particles they are also part of atoms. Atoms make up molecules and molecules make up organisms. Together these organisms make up an ecosystem. Multiple ecosystems make up planets, which in turn, make up solar systems. Solar systems make up galaxies and these make up universes which consist of consciousness that has existed forever. These smaller systems occur many times over as a part of a larger system which is why you are like individual cells in this consciousness, a bit like cells in a body.

As tiny cells in this consciousness, you don't always know the bigger picture. Just like a liver cell in our body doesn't know what a blood cell is doing, you don't know what everyone else on the planet is doing. This consciousness is a thinking, loving being and is manifested as something greater than the individual. Just like countries of people have their own national identity and character, they are different from the individual entities that live in them.

As an individual with a body and a mind, it appears to you that consciousness shares only the limits of your body/mind, but if you take away the body/mind, the consciousness still exists. You are part of a greater whole and when you die, something new happens, but every atom and every bit of energy that was once you cannot truly die. Your consciousness becomes dispersed so you once again become universal. In a sense you become recycled.

All of your memories have been passed on and stored in the universal consciousness, because the universal consciousness in which your thoughts appear and in which my thoughts appear, is the same space. The universal consciousness is an infinite source of potentiality and this awareness is unlimited, but the knowledge in your mind is limited though. Your brain generates thoughts and determines how knowledge is stored here, but you don't control your body or your brain. As already mentioned, there is no locus of control called 'self' in the brain. It may feel as if you are controlling your own thoughts because they are created within your brain. However, as pure consciousness, you can only be aware of the thoughts as they are passing through your mind.

You don't feel everything in your body either and this awareness or consciousness feels limited to you. This is only because you are restricted by your senses. You can't be aware of what is outside the room or experience what another person feels. But the awareness or the consciousness that is looking out through your eyes is the same as what is looking out through everyone else's eyes.

This awareness, which knows your experience, is unlimited. You believe it is limited because you are taught from an early age by your parents and your culture that you are separate. You assume this because you are given a name and walk around in a different body which has a different brain and different personality traits. In essence you believe you are only your body and your separate identity.

Most people don't notice that there is something that is aware of their experience. Even though your experience is illuminated by consciousness, our culture ignores this universal consciousness, and awareness is never taught. The normal world view is that 7 billion people are using their own individual consciousness to find their own perceptions, but this is not true. There are not 7 billion consciousnesses and one world, but rather there is one consciousness seeing 7 billion worlds. You see similarities in these worlds because you come from the same consciousness, but you don't share the same identical world as you cannot share your senses, your experiences and your thoughts which are a product of your body and mind.

You have accepted the collective view of reality and the stories you have created about yourself, which are merely a construct of the mind/body complex. You believe you are your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, but this perception is false. It's a bit like the perception that the sun rises each day. A scientist will tell you that the sun does not actually rise but, that the earth rotates around the sun and therefore it appears as if the sun rises.

In the same way that you believe the sun rises, it seems as if what goes on in your physical body is all that you are; that your thoughts, feelings and emotions define who you are, but this is a misconception.

Ask yourself, are you breathing, or is breathing happening? Are you seeing, or is seeing happening? Are you thinking or is thinking happening? You are aware of the thinking, but does the thinking come from you? Can you choose to control the thinking? You can't control it because it is just happening and you are the witness. The ego or your false identity likes to take credit for the thinking, but this is a function of the mind. It is not the real you.

Can you be the subject and the object at the same time? No, you cannot. There is the perceiver and what is being perceived. I perceive my body, I perceive my thoughts but I cannot be my body and I cannot be my thoughts as I am perceiving them. I perceive the voice in my head, aka 'the thoughts". The thoughts come in and out of my awareness, but I remain the perceiver, the awareness of those thoughts. If I were the thoughts, then when they went away, I would go too. Who you are cannot be contained in the mind because it contains the mind. You can never mentally know who you are. You can only exist as the stillness, the emptiness, the nothingness, the spaciousness, the pure awareness which is consciousness.

You have become completely unaware of your true nature because you constantly identify yourself with your body, your mind and your emotions. You lose sight of the unchanging centre which is pure consciousness.

Consciousness appears to share the limits of the body/mind but there is only one space in the universe and one consciousness. Your thoughts appear and my thoughts appear in the same consciousness. There is no limit to awareness and that which is known, however, everything you know with your mind is limited. In our culture, you are taught to think that all that is known is confined to your mind.

You've been taught to focus on objects but objects don't have existence. They derive their existence from your awareness. The appearance of the object comes into existence because of your sense perceptions. You think that your consciousness comes after the object and views the object, but consciousness is your primary experience. The real you is both present and aware, it is part of consciousness. Everything else comes after consciousness. The real you remains constant throughout your perceptions, your thoughts and sensations. It does not disappear when the object you are aware of touching disappears. The awareness is not located in time and space as you have eternal awareness which is indestructible.

Thoughts come and go, sensations come and go; they are limited and not continuous. Although sensations and perceptions can be similar between different people because the mind notices that they are similar, the only shared element of experience is consciousness. The world and body and mind borrow their existence and continuity from your consciousness. However, most people believe the continuity of their experience lies outside consciousness. They believe in their separate self which is an illusion.

I own a car and I drive that car but I am not that car. Similarly, I own a body, it is mine and I drive that body, but it is not me. People often confuse themselves with being their body. It is your body but you are not it. There is the real you, the space and stillness within, and then there is your body. When you make a pot out of clay it is the space within the pot which is the most useful. When you build a house out of wood, it is the space within those walls which is the most important.

Our culture systematically ignores the presence of consciousness. You do not think about it but focus only on the material, on objects only. You grow up believing in a material reality based on your five senses. The world you know is based entirely on electrical signals in your brain. For example, your brain does not actually contact the original matter that you see with your eyes, and what you see, is essentially electrical signals which have been transformed in your brain using vision receptors. Your brain interprets how you see, smell, touch, and taste by transforming electrical signals into meaningful things.

You can only truly know your reality by the perceptions in your mind. But what you see is essentially an illusion. Another animal would see the world quite differently because they have different visual receptors. They would also touch, smell and taste things differently. The visible part of your reality is only about 1% of the total. A lot of what is out there is invisible.

All though many of us are enthralled by our visible reality and the world of matter, science has moved on. Quantum Physics shows us that when we are not looking at an electron, it acts like a wave, but when we observe it, the universe knows we need a measurable result, so it acts like a particle. Through an experiment known as the double-slit experiment, physicists have proved that it is the observer that creates the reality. Without the observer's presence, the electron being measured cannot be compelled to assume a definitive position. (Weizmann Institute of Science, 1998). Essentially the presence of the conscious observer changes the behaviour of an electron from a wave state to a particle state.

Furthermore, the Delayed Choice experiment (Wheeler, Nature Physics, 2015) illustrates how what happens in the present can change what happened in the past. It also shows how time can go backwards and how cause and effect can be reversed. Essentially it shows how time doesn't exist as we think it does, and that future actions can alter past actions even after these events have been irrevocably recorded.

Quantum entanglement experiments show that space is just a construct that gives the illusion that there are separate objects. Professor Wiseman and his team (Griffith University, 2015), showed that two objects (electrons) created together are entangled. This means that if you send one to the other side of the universe, and spin it or change its direction, then the other one will act in exactly the same manner instantaneously. Furthermore such experiments show that time and space as we know them are just constructs.

What quantum mechanics has shown is that nothing in this universe is certain. This unified field of consciousness is like an ocean of potential reality. For example, light sometimes acts like a wave and sometimes like a particle (a photon) depending on how you choose to measure it. By bouncing photons off satellites, a scientific team has confirmed that an observer can make the decision how to measure them, even after they have made their way almost completely through the experiment. Even over thousands of kilometres (University of Padova, 2017). Our intention affects this reality and it affects matter.

Intention is something planned or desired, it is specific and it is driven by purpose. The effect of intention upon matter has been verified time and time again through scientific experiments. In one experiment, where zeros and ones were generated randomly by a computer, it was shown that you could change the number of zeros and ones generated by changing the intention of the observer (Global Consciousness Project, Princeton University, ongoing since 1979).

Further intention experiments, such as controlled germination experiments, (Dr. Schwartz et al, University of Arizona, 2008) show that plant seeds could be made to grow faster and into healthier plants when compared to those from a control group of seeds. This only occurred when this specific intention was directed towards them from a group of people.

To a lesser degree our expectations can also affect certain outcomes. The classic example of where expectations can sometimes produce results is in the placebo effect seen in trials for a new medication. When patients are in the group not given the test medication, they still get better even though they are only taking sugar pills or drinking saline water. This is largely because they expect to get better. It is undeniable that the mind can have a very powerful effect upon the body and is very important in healing. But through the energy of consciousness, an intention can be directed towards changing our physical reality in very specific ways, sometimes even without much physical effort on our part. Quantum Physics is exploring exactly how this occurs.

Traditional science based upon Newton's theories assumed that consciousness arose from physical objects. Quantum Physics, which is a fast growing field of science, seems to suggest it is the reverse. Your physical reality arises from consciousness.

It is consciousness that determines existence, and consciousness which makes your reality. Everything in life is connected and at the purest level, this energy which cannot be measured, but which is intelligent, is consciousness (or God). This energy cannot, not exist. It is a grand, unified field and it is infinite and it has existed forever. The Universal Consciousness is omniscient (knows everything there is to know), omnipotent (has unlimited power), and omnipresent (is present everywhere at the same time for all eternity) and therefore is often referred to as "God" or the "Divine Source".

Whilst many of you have been brought up to deify God and put him on a pedestal, it is important to recognise that you are part of him and he is part of you, this universal consciousness unites us all. Every living thing is conscious in its own way. For example, the Carpenter Bee by simply changing the beating of its wings, can communicate to a certain type of flower to make it open up so it can collect pollen. Bacteria communicate with each other to aid in community processes. All organisms respond to their environment and provide feedback which generates innovation and change.

In much the same way, you can create your own experience of reality. Your thoughts and energy create your reality. What you think becomes you, what you feel follows you, and what you believe builds around you. Beliefs, thoughts and feelings are the filter through which you experience life. If your beliefs, thoughts and feelings change, then the sum of your internal reality will change, as will your choices, which cause your external reality to change.

In this grand, unified field that we call the universal consciousness, your energy affects everything around you. You shape the world that you live in - this has always been the case. Because consciousness creates reality and is not random, you can change your world by your beliefs and thoughts. Your energy is connected to everything and there is no space/time continuum. For example, if you have negative thoughts your brain will release certain chemicals which cause bad feelings and you may have negative experiences, usually because your behaviour is changed. If you change one aspect of the pattern of particles out there, then you will change others.

If you think positive thoughts you will release different chemicals which result in positive feelings which in turn may create more positive experiences and behaviour. Thoughts and other stimuli can rewire your brain by strengthening used synaptic pathways and weakening less used ones. Your thoughts create an intention which produces an action, with or without physical effort. You can quite literally change your world view and your immediate environment by what you put out there. Problems occur when one person tries to manipulate their environment at the expense of others thus disturbing the harmony within the universal consciousness. They do not realise that everyone has the same consciousness.

Of course, what they see in their world is just a tiny range of frequencies in a massive unified field. This massive unified field of consciousness is without an object and a subject. It exists prior to all experiences and it is unconditional. It is all there is. Consciousness is the building block of everything. Basically there is nothing else but God. Most people do not see this because they are so enamoured by their experiences, by their melodramas and their attempts to predict and control, to understand and manipulate everything rationally. Our experiences are observable occurrences and science can easily explain observable facts, but consciousness is not something you can easily measure and is therefore, not so readily explained.

This universal consciousness works something like an instinct. It is already there inside you; it just takes the right stimulus to bring it out. The universal consciousness in all of you is that portion of you that is God or godlike and is sometimes referred to as your soul. This is the developing portion of your whole nature. It is ever changing, growing and learning, and uses free will to explore, create, test, discover and more. This consciousness evolves through experience. Each and every experience adds to the universal consciousness, creating a ripple effect.

Most individuals have a limited point of view though, dictated by the very fact that they perceive themselves as separate individuals, limited by their body and their senses. They each see things from a different place, a different point; and most can only see from their separate individual place. There are as many places that a person will see from as there are people.

The trouble is that seeing from one place only, doesn't allow you to see the whole picture, or the big picture. A broad point of view can help you better understand others; better understand the world, and ultimately the entire universe. If your point of view is broad enough, you are better able to understand other individual points of view.

Every human being, in the physical sense, is obviously an individual self. And most people believe that their individual self is separate from other people and everything else in the universe. Thus, people generally behave as if they have a separate consciousness, and live their lives based on this one point of consciousness. They are unaware that their consciousness is part of a much wider universal consciousness. Unfortunately, when a person lives like this, their view of life is very limited and their perspective is narrow.

There are varying degrees of narrow-mindedness of course, but even the broadest point of view that comes from just one person with one point of consciousness, must be limited and incomplete, because it is a view that is still from only one place. Thus, it is a point of view that will have limited understanding. And if a person has such limited understanding, what kind of thoughts are they limited to? And if their thoughts are from such limited perception and understanding, what kind of action will they take regarding other people, and the world around them? For the answer to that, just look around at the world. The problem is that most people are too arrogant to know what they don't know.

A separate point of consciousness, because of its limitations and narrow outlook, compartmentalises its perception of the world into pieces that are extensions of itself. Although precious few people have begun to expand their consciousness to include bigger pictures, this still falls far short of universal consciousness. The fact is, all things in the universe are essentially made of the same stuff and are totally interdependent and connected.

So you cannot be truly separate from the rest of the universe; you can only be a part of it all. But you can think you are separate. You can believe you are separate. And then you can act like you are separate. Believing you have a separate consciousness doesn't mean you really are separate. All it means is that you have a total illusion of separateness from everyone and everything else in the universe. And when a person truly believes they are separate, they naturally focus on themselves, which naturally leads to selfishness. This is not a moral judgement about being good or bad. All it means is that most people are looking inwards and by lacking awareness they quickly become out of sync with the universal consciousness. By pandering to their ego and their thoughts, they behave in ways which lead to their suffering and the suffering of others.

Outside the Earth, the universe functions in a beautiful, orderly, harmonious flow. On Earth, humans with their separate point of consciousness are out of step with the flow of nature and the universe. The results of this have been disharmony, disruption and destruction.

However, a person who has expanded their awareness and has transcended this separation sees infinitely more, and understands infinitely more. Imagine being able to see the outcome of many of your actions in advance or, being able to know if what you are doing is really going to ultimately help or harm. When you live in sync with the universal consciousness, your perception and ability to understand and know what is happening is greater. You will intuitively see the whole picture or whole situation.

Being confined within a body clearly has its limitations though, because that false sense of being separate is reinforced. To really experience pure awareness, you need to transcend such a limitation and that is where most people face difficulties. Meditation can help you to expand your awareness but the extent to which this occurs varies from individual to individual and for many people is often transitory.

But what if you really had an awareness of being one with everything all the time — even the intelligent divine source which created you or even all other separate selves? A person who was able to constantly function as pure awareness would love everyone unselfishly. He would be perceived as a giving, compassionate, and caring individual who had no intention to harm anyone. Such a person would have the wisdom of foresight and could anticipate the consequences of their actions. Sadly, such enlightened individuals are rare.

However, the mystical truth that there is nothing but consciousness, must be experienced in order to be truly understood, just as an apple in the sensory domain must be seen and tasted before a person really knows what an apple is.

Rather ironically, in the most celebrated Biblical Myth, when Adam and Eve tasted an apple from the tree of knowledge they were expelled from an enchanted and joyful life in the Garden of Eden (pure consciousness) and thrust into a world of experience. This is the essential dilemma. How do you achieve greater awareness and become spiritually awakened when you live in the world of experience?

Plato characterised the plight of human beings in their experience of the universe in the following way. We are in a cave strapped into our respective seats, our heads fixed so that they always face the wall. The universe is a shadow show projected on the wall, and we are shadow watchers. We watch illusions which we permit to condition us. The real reality is behind us, in the light that creates the shadows on the wall. But how can we see the light, strapped as we are so we cannot turn our heads? The people in the cave also cast a shadow on the wall, a shadow with which we identify – our ego.

Krishnamurti suggests you need to make a complete about-face to transform and this requires a complete awareness of what you really are. So many people intuitively know that they are searching for something but not many know that they need to find their pure consciousness. St Francis of Assisi put it quite succinctly when he said: "What we search for is the one that sees." But how do you truly experience the consciousness which is looking out through your eyes? How do you expand your awareness?

My experience has shown that you need to learn to live in the present moment as much as possible, and to contemplate reality in an attentive but detached way, and the principle way to do this is to learn how to meditate. Through meditation, your thoughts and beliefs fall away as you learn not to hold on to them, until you experience the stillness within, the non-self which becomes an experience of the universal consciousness. Similar to this is the state of perfect witnessing where objects rise and fall in your awareness but the witness remains detached, without judgement. Both meditation and perfect witnessing lead to joy.

If you flow with the stream of consciousness, your thought patterns are consigned to the bottom of the stream bed and that which you witness is no longer interfered with by introspection. You begin to see unity in diversity and you can love people for just being. You do not want them to conform to your patterns and cultures.

This is not all as effortless as it may seem. In addition to learning how to meditate, you need to identify with some precision what is going on in your everyday life. You need to recognise how your attachment to certain habits is running you so that you can break away from the egoic level of existence. Furthermore you need to be open to loving others unconditionally. Rather than being driven to love by your desire, by a need for security or by image, you need to become free to love for no reason at all. In such a state of expanded awareness, appropriate action flows easily without effort. You are able to source your inner creativity without the ego interfering. You are able to illuminate your mind without searching for answers in the usual conditioned way of learning. In essence you find wisdom and joy.

If you are consciousness but feel limited by your body/mind, then you can practice expanding your awareness by using your breath to reach the spaciousness outside your body. This type of breathing, as described below, has been used for centuries by those who practice Kundalini Yoga. Kundalini is a Sanskrit term from ancient India that identifies the arising of consciousness (pranic energy or chi) from the base of the spine, which like a snake, uncoils and moves into the gut, the heart and to the top of the head causing a gradual awakening of the chakras (energy centres).

Such a Kundalini arising releases many patterns, conditions and delusions of the separate ego. In simplest terms it is an awakening of the life force within and can help you feel united with the universal consciousness.

Some practitioners say such an event can be disorienting for those who are unprepared for it as it can trigger new sensations in the individual. Like re-wiring your home, it can significantly increase your energy levels, which requires some adjustment. By opening the heart and the mind it can lead to shifts in perception as you lose the delusions of the separate self. When you begin to experience pure consciousness, you may go into unfamiliar expansive or empty states that some people find disorienting. Furthermore, a few people experience sudden physical changes such as tingling, shaking, jerking, dizziness, flashing lights in their peripheral vision, or the sensation of something crawling up their spine.

These sensations are only temporary though, and I believe that kundalini breathing is fundamentally a benign process which puts you in touch with your own deep energy. Practice it daily before beginning your regular meditation practice and see how it opens up your sense of spaciousness. I will cover tips on how to meditate in subsequent chapters, but the kundalini breathing technique is described here.

Kundalini Breathing:

Find a comfortable seated position with feet flat on the floor, an upright spine, an open chest and head slightly tilted forward with eyes closed. Rest your arms in your lap or on your thighs, holding the forefinger together with the thumb in each hand, with palms facing upwards.

Firstly identify these three groups of muscles by sucking them in one after the other: the perineum (muscles around the butt/genitals), the lower abdomen, and the upper abdomen.

Then imagine a point on the top of your skull (crown chakra) and breathe in deeply, sucking in the air till it feels like its emerging from the top of your head. Practise this a few times.

Now do the two together. Slowly suck in the muscles around the perineum, whilst breathing in deeply. Continue to suck in the lower and upper abdominal muscles as the air continues up towards the top of your nasal passages and the top of your head. Hold the breath for at least ten seconds whilst imagining your energy leaving your body and then exhale. Repeat this technique 4-6 times. Your third eye chakra (between your eyebrows) should activate if you can take less than six breaths per minute. Your crown chakra should activate if you take less than four breaths per minute.

After this breathing exercise, continue to meditate by focusing on the space in front of your closed eyes. Feel your body disappear as you sink into the void of inky blackness. You are nothing but the spaciousness around your body.
Chapter Three – What is Mindfulness?

It is not easy to bring your full awareness to everything you do. Eckhart Tolle referred to this state of living in the moment as "feeling the presence of now". Rather than focusing on the past, which cannot be changed, or the future which doesn't exist, to become fully awakened to your natural state, you need to focus on the present, which is the only true reality you can ever know.

A study from Harvard (Killingsworth and Gilbert, 2010), showed that 47% of our waking hours are spent focused on something other than the present moment and that over 50% of people surveyed, spent time focused on either the past or the future. Furthermore reminiscing, thinking ahead or even daydreaming tends to make people miserable, even when they are thinking about something pleasant.

To become mindful can be challenging, as you need to stop analysing and judging things that have happened, stop worrying about things that may never happen, and simply be one with the experience you are currently in. Not only does mindfulness lead to happiness but it is through mindfulness that you can develop true awareness, find out who you are, and recognise that pure consciousness which lies within.

There are many ways of practising mindfulness, which is essentially focused attention, but perhaps the most useful is through meditation. Whilst meditating, not only can you develop your ability to remain in the present moment, but you can also find your presence as pure consciousness. In meditation this presence has often been described as 'stillness', because the real 'you' remains still and silent at the background to all your swirling emotions and thoughts. During a busy day when your mind is consumed by your thoughts, you don't often recognise this stillness. You take it for granted, assuming that this stillness (or pure consciousness) which is looking through your eyes is somehow part of your body. You need to slow down and really become aware of it, for this consciousness underlies everything.

One of the most awe-inspiring experiences that I've ever had was cruising around Halong Bay in Vietnam. My family and I spent several days travelling by boat around the tall, limestone outcrops or karsts surrounded by calm green water. The boat seemed to glide along its own path, much like how we cruise along when we are in tune with the universal consciousness. I'd get up in the morning and go to the top of the boat and join in with a group doing Qi Gong. There was a magic in the air, as we practised these rhythmic movements whilst surrounded by towering rock formations shrouded in fog. This mystical landscape has existed for five hundred million years, silent and still.

It is that kind of stillness within that you need to recognise during meditation, for that is the real 'you'. Mindfulness meditation can help, as in this form of meditation you let the thoughts pass through your mind without engaging them. Eventually you have a quietening of the mind and can sense the stillness within.

When you hear the word "stillness" you immediately think of it as the opposite of movement \- but stillness is something quite different altogether. **Stillness is an energetic quality of being.** It is naturally present at the core of every human being and forms the background across which your thoughts pass. Sometimes after a few cups of coffee or a fight you might not feel it, but it is always there – it is only you who has chosen to disconnect from it.

So, why is it so difficult to be still if stillness is your natural state of being?

It seems as if everything in the way you choose to live takes you away from your true self: the constant distractions of being 'too busy', the noises, stress, emotions, and stimulating food and drink. Your ideals and beliefs, protective mechanisms, anxiety and constant barrage of thoughts becomes your daily lived experience which you perceive as "normal", when it is not, and yet you allow it to perpetuate.

**Recognising the stillness, the spaciousness deep within, is a choice.** It can be felt by living in a state of awareness, in tune with the present moment. You are present in your body, but as that stillness, that spaciousness, you are also at one with everything, and everyone in all that you do. Life flows with a simple rhythm – the rhythm of your stillness.

In this awareness there is something that 'stands still', but it is not absent of physical movement. Rather, it is the depth of your being that remains unaffected by any movement, action or thought, even though through use of a physical body and mind you move, act and think. It is the depth of the ocean unaffected by its waves. It is the ability to surrender to your inner-heart and live from here in all that you do.

Therefore, stillness is not something you have to go in search of nor is it a journey into escapism or numbness. It is where you come from and what you are innately made of and thus it is your natural state of being.

"Once you know yourself in your living stillness, there is nothing in this world that is greater than you." (Serge Benhayon)

Try to envision who exactly is looking out through your eyes. Your consciousness is the witness to all that happens in front of you, it is the real "you", not your ego which tells you what you should or shouldn't do. Your consciousness instinctively knows what is right and what is wrong at any given moment, unlike your ego which is driven by any number of different desires. We ourselves lend the unreal ego its reality. So long as you give in to the wants, emotions, and preconditioning, it keeps driving you, as if it is self-conscious and you are not. In reality, it is a parasite living on the shadow of your consciousness.

Similarly, our thoughts, which are generated by the mind, are made real when we cooperate with them. If we withdraw our support, they will dissolve. We simply have to observe our thoughts as they pass, but not grasp on to them. We need to become the witness.

During mindfulness meditation instead of grasping on to your thoughts, you focus on your breathing, the sounds around you and the space in front of your closed eyes. Through regular practise, eventually the spaciousness between your thoughts will grow larger. It is in that space that your find stillness. It is the background across which everything happens. Your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings, all flit across this space. That silent background is the real "you" - your consciousness. It is the essence which all living things are a part of.

By stopping the current of thoughts during meditation, you get the opportunity to see who you really are. "See" is used here as a metaphor, as this seeing is beyond what the eyes can do, but is more like observing, feeling and knowing. What happens in meditation is that you start to see yourself without the clutter of the super-imposed world.

So, in essence, meditation is like a torch light to find something, that which you really are. It is the best tool to remove the transient clutter that you think is real but which hides your true presence.

There are many different kinds of meditation, and I will describe meditation in more detail in the next chapter. As a practise though, mindfulness meditation is one of the more basic forms of meditation, and can be experienced every day. You can practise it anywhere: on the bus, on the train, in your garden, out at the park, even in the shopping centre. However, to begin with it often helps to set up a routine and to find a special place where you always go to meditate.

Perhaps you might have a comfortable chair or sofa which you could put next to a table decorated with flowers or crystals. Some people like to burn a candle, some incense or some essential oils. How you organise this space is up to you. For years, I used to meditate in an armchair in front of the heater. For some people this might induce sleepiness though. For the same reason, meditating whilst lying down is not always advisable, unless you are using the meditation as a means to fall asleep. The aim is to become relaxed but alert. By tapping deeper within you can access your intuition and a deeper wisdom, part of the living intelligence of the universal consciousness which we are all a part of.

Universal consciousness is the underlying essence of all being and becoming in the universe. It includes the arising of all organic aspects (such as humans, plants and animals) as well as inorganic aspects. There are physical and chemical interactions that have occurred, do occur, and continue to occur in the universe. Universal Consciousness is like an intelligent energy field which forms the source that underlies those interactions and the awareness they have imbued.

It is that awareness that exists within each and every Soul. This awareness is ingrained, and when awakened by the right use of free will, the person realizes his oneness with the universal consciousness.

Opening up to this awareness can be quite dramatic, allowing you to gain a broader perspective of life on Earth. A complete all-encompassing point of view is rare while functioning in a physical body. Only a few enlightened individuals have that complete perception.

Most people can achieve an expanded awareness during deep meditation but, when they return to full function on the physical plane, they can only grasp the essence of what they understood whilst in this state. The ultimate aim is to maintain this expanded awareness, even during daily life when you are not in a meditative state. To do this requires detachment from the ego and a quietening of the mind. By living in the present moment, and fostering an attitude of gratitude and acceptance, it is easier to remain in sync with the universal consciousness. I will discuss more on this in further chapters.

Your individual point of consciousness is already one with this universal consciousness and, when you fully open up to it, you can become an active link in the hierarchical chain of universally conscious beings. Compassion, kindness and love are some of the more visible attributes of universal consciousness manifested in individuals, as are wisdom, intuition and joyfulness.

I should stress that consciousness is not something that can be acquired or gained. You already exist as pure consciousness, but may be unaware of this or know not how to remove the blindfold of your personal identity. Years of conditioning, which make you act and think a certain way, can make this a difficult prospect.

Even those who can detach from external factors, such as the expectations of others, may find it difficult to attune their intellect to the consciousness within. Their restless thoughts and the loud voice of their ego may make life a struggle. By getting in touch with that consciousness or stillness within, you leave the demands of the ego behind, and begin to live harmoniously in the flow of the universal consciousness. Living in stillness allows you tap into the wisdom and joy which is part of this consciousness. It leads to a happier and more peaceful life.

So as a starting point for finding that stillness within, you can practice mindfulness meditation. The term 'mindfulness' suggests being mindful of the present moment, and indeed a large part of this meditation is about focusing on your breathing, the sensations within the body, as well as the sounds around you. However, the other essential aim of practising this meditation is for you to quieten your mind and to detach from the constant barrage of thoughts streaming through your mind.

This quote below perfectly sums up the relationship between thoughts (on the surface) and stillness (deep within) during mindfulness meditation:

"The mind is like the ocean. And deep in the ocean, beneath the surface, it's calm and clear. And no matter what the surface conditions are, whether it's flat or choppy or even a full gale storm, from the depths of the mind you can look toward the surface and just notice the activity there... thoughts, feelings, sensations and memories exist. You have the incredible opportunity to just observe those activities at the surface of your mind." (Daniel Siegel, The Mindful Brain)

Although the ultimate aim of mindfulness meditation is to recognise yourself in the stillness deep within, for many people this may take months or even years. It takes time to detach your true self from the endless cycle of thoughts and to ultimately assume the position of the witness.

In the short term though, there are many physical benefits from practising mindfulness meditation which can affect a change in someone's demeanour from that of a stressed anxious individual to a more relaxed person. Studies have shown that mindfulness meditation actually changes your usual physiological response, or primary mode of being.

Essentially when it comes to people, there are two primary modes of being:

The protection or the "red zone" is where you are focused on perceived threats, challenges and tasks. This primarily initiates a stress response in the body where the sympathetic nervous system is dominant (It is also known as the fright, flight or fight response).

The growth zone or "green zone" is where you have the perception of safety and freedom. This type of thinking initiates a relaxation response in the body where the parasympathetic nervous system is dominant (also known as the rest and digest response).

In the "red zone" the mind has a narrow focus of attention and is often involved in excessive thinking. Thoughts are often projected in to the future or focused on what happened in the past. This type of thinking can lead to emotional reactivity and defensiveness, resentment, self-righteousness and even a sense of helplessness or despair. The ability to be in the present moment is lost, and the quality of attention is poor as the person is easily distracted. Breathing is shallower, heart rate and blood pressure is raised, and healing is diminished.

Mindfulness meditation is a potential antidote to this type of thinking as it takes you into the green zone. In the "green zone" the mind is focused only on the present moment. There is an open awareness to what is going on around you. Listening is enhanced and thinking is more constructive. You become more in touch with your feelings and intuition, and the body's natural relaxation response leads to growth and healing.

In the green zone you have a greater attention span, your memory is enhanced and you naturally have a greater empathy for others. Physically your heart rate and blood pressure is reduced, as well as the muscular tension in your body, and your ability to digest food is improved.

At first when people begin to mediate they may feel restless or irritable as their body may not be used to staying motionless, even for a short period of time. Furthermore the constant stream of thoughts flowing through the mind may prove to be a huge distraction. Just remind yourself that the only place that is important to be in at that moment is where you are right now. When the thoughts come, don't grasp on to them but let them pass through your mind. If you become distracted by the thoughts, bring your attention back to your breathing, the sounds around you, and space in front of your closed eyes.

It may be helpful to start with only ten to fifteen minutes of meditation initially. As you become more experienced you can extend this to longer periods of meditation. In any case, it is not the length of the meditation that counts but the frequency. Regular daily practice of meditation for twenty minutes is better than an entire hour practised only sporadically. Make it a part of your daily routine like healthy eating, regular exercise and good sleep habits. Find a part of your day where you will not be disturbed such as early in the morning or later in the evening. If you are feeling very tense, ease yourself into it by taking a few deep breaths.

Below is a script for mindfulness meditation:

You may wish to pre-record the script so you can make yourself comfortable and just listen. There are many apps on your phone or tablet that allow you to record your voice. You can even add some background music if you like.

Posture: Firstly, find a relaxed position, either sitting with an upright posture in a chair with head slightly tilted forward and eyes closed, or lying down on a bed with arms by your side. Relax your face and shoulders and begin by focusing on your breathing.

Breathing: Taking three deep conscious breaths, inhale deeply and exhale several times till your breath finds its own rhythm. Your breath can be used as an anchor to bring you back to the present moment, so just inhale and exhale, following each breath.

Focus: Now bring your focus to the space in front of your closed eyes. It is like a field of darkness. With a gentle curiosity note any colours or muted shapes – simply noticing without judgement. If thoughts come and go, let them come but don't grasp onto them. As each new stream of thoughts enters through your mind, you let them pass through but don't let your mind hook on to them, much like a train passing through a station.

Thoughts: Although at first the thoughts will stream through in a constant cascade it is important not to engage with them. It may be tempting to start analysing them, to plan what you will do next, or perhaps to rehash the events of the day, don't give in to temptation. Let the thoughts pass by. Eventually each thought will fade away as another thought enters your mind.

Sounds: Next bring your attention to any sounds, firstly outside the room and then...after a brief moment, focus on sounds inside the room. Listen to them as they come and go without thinking about where they are from or what caused them, simply listen.

Breathing: As you are listening bring your attention back to your breath. As you breathe in, feel the air as it moves over your nostrils, notice the sensation of breathing and the movement of your belly. Perhaps there is even a slight sound as you breathe in and breathe out.

Feet and Hands: Next bring your attention to your feet. Noticing the sensation in your toes, your heels and the surface of your feet, rest your focus there for a moment, feeling into the floor. Then bring your focus to your hands, noticing the small sensations through your fingers and hands and that subtle sense of aliveness. If thoughts begin to intrude bring your attention back to the breath, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

Consciousness: Like the waves washing up on to the shore of a sandy beach, the thoughts keep coming for a while till eventually the mind goes still and you find a gap appearing between thoughts. Try to focus on this gap, not the thoughts themselves, as this gap will allow the natural spaciousness of your consciousness to reveal itself.

Shoulders and Neck: Then bring your awareness up to your shoulders, noticing any tightness in the muscles, or any tingling or pressure in the neck. Allow your body to relax naturally...feel its heaviness.

Feelings: Next bring your attention to the feeling centre of your body, beginning with your throat, noticing any feelings or sensations there and moving down into your chest where your heart space is. Notice any feelings that arise with curiosity and compassion, but don't try to analyse them. Moving down beneath your chest into your solar plexus and then your belly observe any feelings which arise there. If you become distracted by your thoughts remember to return to your breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling. Finally bring your awareness to your whole body, feeling that subtle sense of aliveness, the rhythm of your breath and the dark space in front of your eyes.

Stillness: Notice as your thoughts pass through and try to focus on that stillness behind your thoughts. Like a silent and knowing presence it is always there, unchanged and unmoved by the life teeming around it. Rest there in this spaciousness and if you become distracted bring your focus back to the breath and that space in front of your closed eyes. Sense the spaciousness behind your thoughts as they pass through and know that it is infinite. Eventually, when you are ready, open your eyes and gently reactivate your body with a stretch.

Scientific research into mindfulness meditation has shown that it produces lasting benefits for your state of health and well-being because over time it results in permanent and positive changes to your brain. Neuroimaging studies have shown that regular mindfulness meditation increases the amount of grey matter in the brain and reduces the loss of brain volume in aging (Lazar et al, 2011, Harvard University, Luders et al, 2015, UCLA). In the long-term, there is solid research to show that this type of meditation also increases the length of the telomeres on our chromosomes and by doing so further reduces the effects of aging (Epel, Blackburn et al, 2009, UCSF Dept. of Medicine and Psychiatry).

As well as increasing the size of the hippocampus in the brain and significantly enhancing your memory function, it increases the frontal cortex and your ability to concentrate and focus. Furthermore, mindfulness meditation reduces the size the amygdala in the brain, a site which is associated with impulsive behaviour. This essentially means that with mindfulness meditation you gain better perspective and control over your thoughts and actions (Brewer et al, 2011, Yale University; Amishi, P. et al, 2007, University of Pennsylvania).

Even after a short course of this meditation, your ability to focus and concentrate is increased and your memory is improved. Personally, I've noticed that my memory has increased exponentially since beginning mindfulness meditation, which has been a great advantage for me as a teacher. With each new topic taught, I've had to memorise large chunks of information, sometimes in the space of just a few short weeks. With mindfulness meditation, not only has my ability to recall facts improved, but I've observed that my mind remains sharp and focused for longer periods of time.

When the practice of meditation is sustained, it can also help give you better perspective and control over your thoughts. By stemming the flow of irrational thoughts, stress is no longer allowed to build up, and much of the underlying anxiety caused by constant rumination, is erased.

After thirty years of meditation, there are many instances now when the thought flow ceases completely for me and I experience just that stillness or spaciousness. Obviously I'm still thinking when I'm completing a task, but the cyclic flow of thoughts only seems to return when I'm particularly stressed. Because I'm aware of this pattern of rumination, I now know to turn to mediation to stem that flow and to find that stillness again. As someone who was quite anxious and high-strung when I was young, this notable change in my anxiety levels has been a welcome change.

Some scientific research has shown that as few as eight weeks of mindfulness meditation will significantly reduce fear, anxiety and stress (Lazar et al, 2010, Harvard Medical School). By teaching people how to let go of their thoughts, mindfulness meditation enables them to become more resilient when faced with difficulties. For patients suffering from mental illness there are also significant benefits. For example, one medical study showed that patients with depression are able to manage their condition with meditation to the same level as a patient taking an anti-depressant drug (Goyal et al, 2014, John Hopkins University).

There are other physical benefits as well. Mindfulness meditation can improve immune function by increasing antibody levels (Davidson et al 2004, University of Wisconsin) and reduce how sensitive you are to pain (Brown and Jones, 2010, International Association for the Study of Pain). I have experienced such benefits firsthand, especially with respect to pain management.

A few years ago, I underwent a surgical procedure under general anaesthetic to remove a large cyst which had been growing in the sinus behind my eye socket. Normally such surgery is followed with strong pain killers, as that area is highly sensitive. I was able to get by without the use of any painkillers at all. The patient in the bed next to me was moaning with pain, in spite of having received pethidine for the same procedure.

The nurses in the ward were totally surprised by my lack of sensitivity to pain. Worried that I was being unnecessarily stoical, they kept offering the pain medication at hourly intervals but I honestly didn't feel like I needed it. My attitude going into the operation was that I could deal with whatever came my way by remaining totally calm and detached from all the thoughts and negative emotions associated with undergoing major surgery. I was able to leave the hospital early with a smile on my face, whilst the other patient suffered in agony.

I am not the only one that has reaped such benefits from meditation. Back in the days when I worked as a dentist, I remember once having to extract a tooth from a man that had insisted on having it done without any anaesthetic. Although it's not something I'd normally agree to, I was able to get the tooth out without the man even flinching. He'd told me he'd been meditating for years and was in such a deep meditative state when I put the forceps on his tooth, it was as if I'd just flicked a crumb from the corner of his mouth. I was absolutely astonished.

However, it is important to recognise that the full benefits of mindfulness meditation won't be felt straight away. There will still be days when you feel acutely stressed and it may be difficult to sit still for long and focus on meditation. During these stressful times, pause and try this mini-meditation.

A meditation for letting go:

Find a quiet place to sit. Start by sitting comfortably with your feet on the ground, a straight back, and your hands in your lap.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and let it go. Follow your breath for a few moments.

Now observe what your mind is thinking and feeling—but don't judge or try to change your thoughts.

Now quietly repeat these words in your mind: "My body is at ease and relaxed... my heartbeat is normal... my mind is calm and peaceful... my heart is open and loving."

Keep repeating these words until you have let go of the tension and are at peace. Then take a deep breath, put a smile on your face, and open your eyes!

You should have set all of your feelings and thoughts aside, allowing a deeper sense of self to emerge as you achieve freedom from thought.

If you become practised in mindfulness meditation, you can bring it with ease into your everyday life. When you are doing something and suddenly feel your mind become swamped with thoughts, let your thoughts pass, but don't engage them. Instead bring your full focus to your breath, notice its natural rhythm as you breathe in and breathe out. As the thoughts come and go, try to find the space between your thoughts and that inner stillness which forms a background to them. Over time, with regular practise, that space will widen till there are few thoughts at all and you are fully immersed in the moment.

Although meditation is very effective, it is not the only way of bringing mindfulness into your life. You can integrate mindfulness into all of your daily activities by simply giving them your full awareness. Mindfulness is just focused attention. Although this sounds easy enough, so often we live our lives like a robot, carrying out tasks automatically without really appreciating what we are doing in the moment. We have so many things we can be grateful for and which we can savour. Just taking the time to focus on them can bring small joys into our lives.

Mindfulness of Breathing: "Remember to breathe". Stop regularly and take 5 slow, full conscious breaths and then allow the breath to flow naturally and mindfully. Savour the breath. Notice the first breath you take each day when you step outside in fresh air.

Mindfulness of Body: Remember to bring your awareness to your posture, your muscle tone, and your feet touching the earth...open, breathe, let go!

Mindfulness of Eating: Notice the colour and texture of your food. Eat slowly, mindfully. Smell, taste, chew, savour and give thanks.

Mindfulness of Grooming/Hygiene: This includes awareness of your cleanliness, clothes, hair, and teeth. Time in the bathroom can be an opportunity for mindfulness. Feel the water on your hands and body, smell the soap, massage the scalp mindfully with shampoo. Make time for eating, sleeping, meditating and self-care/exercising as these activities bring joy and vitality into your life. Do one thing at a time.

Mindfulness at Home: This includes awareness of house cleanliness, housework, tidiness, harmony, beauty, flow (Feng Shui), listening to music. De-clutter your environment, don't become obsessed with things, enjoy the spaciousness and let go.

Mindfulness of Standing, Walking, and Waiting: When walking notice the physical sensations of taking steps. Whenever possible, take the stairs and walk up or down mindfully. Practice mindfulness meditation whenever you are waiting - bring your attention to your posture, your breath, your focus and your attitude.

Mindfulness of Communication: When listening, be aware of the tendency to be distracted or focused on formulating a reply. Give the speaker the gift of your full attention. Try closing your eyes when speaking on the phone to be more mindful of what you are saying.

As you become detached from your thoughts and become a passionate observer of all that is happening, you begin to enjoy the fullness of each moment. By not living in your head, you can actually fully experience life in all its glory, both the highs and the lows. You begin to truly savour every experience for the richness it brings to your life so that you are living with the flow of universal consciousness. Living in the moment helps to expand your awareness so that you become truly awakened to who you are in your natural state. Once this happens you will never look back. Like opening a door to a different way of being, you can never undo what you know and how you see things.
Chapter Four – Meditation as a tool

In the previous chapter, I have touched on how meditation can help us to focus on the present moment, and find the stillness within. Here I will expand on this further by providing some useful hints for maintaining a meditation practise and countering any resistance along the way. You don't need to meditate to start to see through the illusion of the separate self, but it certainly can help. By quietening the mind, meditation helps you to shrug off any conditioning or stress which builds up from interacting with the modern world. It is a very useful tool to use in questioning the concept of 'I' and can point you in the right direction towards a full spiritual awakening.

Much of our stress is controlled by the egoic mind and is built up by trying to maintain our false concept of self, our identity. The role of meditation is to help you move beyond the ego. It helps you slip into the now and by surrendering to each moment as it arises, a state of 'no thought' happens. With no thoughts, you experience stillness, or a state of pure consciousness which is the intrinsic 'you', the real 'you'.

If you choose to you can play 'your character' and go through each day within society, as that role is required of you, and like a costume you can slip it off without any real identification of it as 'who you are'. However, the process of realization can be quite a journey. It doesn't often happen overnight, except in rare cases, which I will address later. Maintaining a daily practise of meditation can help you weather many of the storms you face along the way, especially when your stress levels escalate or you begin to have doubts about yourself.

You don't need to attend a vast array of self-improvement courses, or become a monk, follow a guru, or anything else along those lines. Although attending a self-improvement course or a retreat can be a good starting point for those on a journey of spiritual discovery, such paths can also lead to confusion or a feeling of being overwhelmed by too much doctrine. At the end of such a course you may end up asking the question, what do I really believe? What is the truth? This you have to discover for yourself. The problem is that some of these retreats/ workshops are run by organisations which have their own cottage industry to keep you chasing something. Whether it be eternal happiness, or peace of mind or some vague notion of enlightenment, it may seem like the longer you keep searching for it, the more elusive it becomes, but more on that later. All you need to know is that everything is right here in this moment, as it needs to be. Your job is to simply recognize it.

The main resistance to maintaining a regular practise of meditation is a negative attitude. There are many prevailing myths about meditation but it is important to begin with an open mind and without too many expectations.

Many people feel they can't meditate because they sit there and they expect something incredible to happen. It's unlikely though that you'll see psychedelic visions or the earth will begin to tremble, but you might just become a little calmer than when you first started. Others give up after five minutes because they continue to feel tense and restless. They forget that they've brought with them years of built up tension and that it takes time for the body's natural relaxation response to kick in. It is important to take it slowly and give meditation a chance. You'll find some days will be easier than others. If you approach the practise of meditation gently and with a natural curiosity, then you may just be pleasantly surprised at how effective it is.

Like all good things you need to learn first some basic techniques, and as you become used to these techniques you can modify them to form your own personal practise.

Firstly, make sure you are in a quiet room with few distractions. Some people like to play calming background music and others prefer complete silence, it is up to your personal preference. If you wish you can light a candle or burn some incense to create a positive ambience in the room.

Sit or kneel in a comfortable position. There is no need to assume the Lotus position as some devotees suggest; sitting upright in a chair with both feet on the ground is okay. Using a meditation stool to kneel on the floor is also useful as it puts less strain on the back than sitting cross-legged on the floor.

The most important thing about your posture is that your back should be straight, with your chest open. Your head should be evenly balanced over your shoulders and slightly tilted forwards. You may rest your hands gently in your lap or on your thighs, whatever is most comfortable. You may wish to place the first finger and thumb together in a traditional yoga hand pose or keep your hands clasped together over your belly.

Gently close your eyes and take some slow, deep breaths to begin. Slowly inhale through the nose, hold for a few seconds then slowly exhale through the mouth. As you breathe in you should feel your belly expand, and as you breathe out, feel the breath pass gently out through your lips as your belly contracts. This type of breathing is called diaphragmatic breathing. Unlike the shallow breaths you take when you are stressed, this type of breathing goes deep and immediately starts to calm the body.

Focus on each breath until your breathing assumes its own natural rhythm. As you enter into deeper states of meditation you'll find that there are moments when it seems like you are barely breathing at all. This is perfectly normal and your body will naturally take a deeper breath when it needs to.

Let your thoughts pass through your head without engaging them, much like a train passing through a station. It helps if you focus on the dark space in front of your closed eyes or perhaps a mantra (see chapter 4). The temptation is to start thinking about what you are about to do or something that has happened that day. Let the thoughts go without grasping on to them. At first it will seem like there is a constant stream of thoughts passing through your mind, but eventually they will slow down.

You may start to feel a space or gap between thoughts. Engage in that space and watch how overtime that space expands. As that space expands it may feel like you're falling into a dark void or tunnel and that you're floating. Just let go and relax. Enjoy the spaciousness.

In a guided meditation, just go with where the voice is taking you. If the voice says to imagine you're on a beach or in a forest, try to picture the scene clearly in your mind, the colours, the sounds, all the details. If you're asked to focus on a part of the body, feel into that area and relax it completely.

Don't resist the temptation to move around. At first you may feel fidgety. Parts of your body may start to itch and you may find it difficult to stay still. If you have an itch, pause and scratch it, then resume from where you left off. Eventually your body will relax and this tendency will subside. You'll find with regular daily practise, that some days are better for meditation than others.

Don't expect anything special to happen. Some people talk about seeing strange visions or seeing a kaleidoscope of colours. Some people say if you see the colour purple you're deeply spiritual or if you see the colour red you're more mindful. If you see a particular colour, don't get hung up on what it might represent. It's better to have no expectations at all or you'll only experience disappointment. Focusing on such things defeats the purpose, which is not to grasp on to any particular thought as it passes. Some people have the opposite problem. They're concerned that you need to have a completely empty mind and get stressed when the thoughts continue to come – but no, initially, the thoughts will still be there, you just let them pass through without engaging with them.

Start by meditating for a short period of time, no more than 10 to 15 minutes and then build this up to 20 minutes or longer. Some people are concerned about sitting in the Lotus position for hours on end till their muscles become stiff and sore. It's not the length of time that's important but the frequency. You can meditate whilst sitting on a chair, whilst standing in a bus queue or even lying on the floor. As long as you have a straight spine and an open chest, and you focus on breathing, then the meditation will be beneficial.

One of the other concerns with meditation is that it stems from eastern religions and must be done a certain way, in a particular pose or with the chanting of a mantra. Meditation doesn't become religious unless you make it so. As a practice it's been adopted in some form by practically every religion on earth, but the essence of meditation is to simply enhance your awareness. This requires no particular religious belief or philosophy.

Chanting can be used to focus attention and can be very uplifting, particularly in a group setting. However, it's not required a part of a regular meditation practice. All you need is to be still. Some prefer to use a mantra or repetitive phrase. I'll address the benefits of using a mantra in the next chapter. A mantra, either silent or spoken, is particularly useful if you find it difficult to focus and find your thoughts too distracting. Ultimately the breath itself can be used as a way to focus and anchor you back to the present moment.

In the past, meditation was associated with being weird or with belonging to a New Age hippie culture. However, there's nothing weird about sitting and breathing. Businessmen and politicians use it, many schools now have it as part of their daily program; even some of the armed forces have it as part of their training. You don't have to wear a caftan and grow long hair and a beard. Anyone can meditate. You just have to learn to let go of your thoughts, and focus your attention.

One of the criticisms of meditation is this perception that it's merely an escape from reality and that people who practise it are self-absorbed. On the contrary, meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, can enable you to see reality without your views being influenced by your emotions or preconceived ideas. In fact, the very definition of mindfulness is awareness of reality.

Meditation calms your emotions, and the excess chatter in your mind, so you can see the world more objectively. Rather than becoming self-absorbed, you begin to see how you're interconnected with the rest of the world. Over time you start to identify less with your ego, and more with the world at large. You begin to see how your actions affect others, and you learn how to focus your efforts, so that you have the greatest positive impact in the world.

Some people are very dismissive of meditation, saying comments like "I can't do it" or "It's not for me." To say "meditation is not for me" is like saying "good nutrition and exercise are not for me." Everyone can benefit from good nutrition and exercise, as well as meditation. Scientific research has confirmed many of the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of the practice, and it's fast becoming an integral part of various mental health treatments. It's also becoming an effective complement to standard medical care.

The reality for many of you is that you're faced with more stress each day as your world becomes busier and the pace of life is increased. This is compounded by advances in technology where you're bombarded with information from social media, email and text messages every hour, sometimes every minute. You turn on the television and there's a stream of bad news directed your way. It's no surprise then that your head is filled with an endless cycle of thoughts, often negative thoughts, as you try to make sense of it all.

Even more conventional methods of relaxation such as reading a book or watching a movie, don't give you the release that meditation does. Many of these activities engage the mind and your thought processes. The end result is that you can quickly get caught up in a repetitive cycle of thoughts from which you can't escape and find the space in which to truly rest.

Meditation gives you the chance to step back and find that calm place within, the stillness which is the real you. It also engages your body's natural relaxation response via the parasympathetic nervous system and takes you out of a stressful mode of being.

With regular practice, by focusing on the stillness between your thoughts, you can learn to expand your awareness and learn to recognise the real you, which is pure consciousness. You are not solely the mind/body; that is just the vehicle your consciousness inhabits whilst you live on this earth. This pure consciousness is amazing as it is part of the greater creative and intelligent consciousness that many people refer to as God.

Even if this concept of a universal consciousness is difficult to accept and understand, no-one can deny that meditation as a practice is a useful relaxation tool with multiple health benefits. It improves your immune response, reduces your blood pressure, increases your focus, and even enhances your memory. It costs nothing and requires no special equipment. All it requires is patience and a few minutes of your time, so you have nothing to lose by trying it and much to gain.

Some people find it is too mundane to just sit in a quiet room and focus. They prefer a guided meditation. Following the soothing tones of a person's voice can be quite hypnotic and can certainly help with the relaxation process. There are many meditation apps available, or you could even record the words of a script yourself, perhaps with some background music.

I change my approach according to my mood. Sometimes, after a tiring day, I prefer just to sit there in silence, whereas if I'm feeling restless, I find it's helpful to listen to a calming voice. Trying out different methods of meditation can help you find what suits you best. If you're not sure where to start, perhaps attend a meditation class and learn the basics from a teacher so that you can ask questions and voice your concerns before you practice at home.

There are essentially four things you need to consider each time you meditate and these may be summarised as follows:

Posture – sit upright (not too rigid, not collapsed), straight spine, head slightly tilted forward, with ears over the shoulders, open chest and arms, face relaxed with eyelids gently touching.

Breathing – steady, natural breaths – feel the air as it touches the nostrils, notice the movement of the chest and belly, find a rhythm and maintain it.

Focus – pay attention to the field of darkness in front of your eyes, to the sounds outside or inside the room, to the feeling of natural effortless breathing or to your chosen mantra.

Attitude \- begin with an open mind and a genuine interest. There should be no sense of trying and no desire to control; no attachment to thoughts, and no judgement. Just pay attention to the here and now by staying alert and relaxed. If your mind strays bring your attention back to the next breath.

You may wish to try this simple meditation below, to find your self-awareness. Just remember, you are not your thoughts, you are not your feelings...you are the one who sees...you are the witness.

Meditation for Self-awareness:

Close your eyes and take a few moments to relax your body. Relax the muscles in your face, your neck, your shoulders, your arms and your legs. Taking in three deep breaths...inhale...and then exhale...letting go, just letting go.

Now bring your attention to the space in front of your closed eyes. Like a field of darkness, it spreads out before you. Just observe this space for a few moments. You may see some muted colours or shapes. Just looking, observe it without judgement or thought.

Become aware of what is going on in your mind in this moment. Observe the thoughts as if they were soft clouds floating across the sky of your mind. Don't pull the thoughts down to engage them, simply allow them to pass by...

Now notice any deeper feelings or emotions that arise. You are not trying to change any of them. Simply observe them and hold them in your awareness. As they pass by, acknowledge that you are not your thoughts or feelings. Let them go and realise that you are something deeper than that.

Turn your attention to Awareness itself. Become aware of your own Awareness, the knowingness that lets you perceive all this, the inner spaciousness that holds together all the sensations, feelings, and thoughts that make up your experience in this moment.

Focus your attention on your own Awareness. Experience your Awareness and notice how calming and peaceful it feels. Just gently sit your mind in this place of nourishing stillness. Let yourself "be" that stillness.

Now gently notice your breathing: cool air coming in through your nostrils, warm air going out ... breathing in ... breathing out ... And when you are ready, give your body a stretch, open your eyes.

Bring your focus back to the space you are sitting in...
Chapter Five – Finding your focus

Although meditation can help with quietening the mind, some people find it difficult to let the thoughts go without having a specific focus. One suggestion is to focus on a specific object in the room, perhaps a picture or a dot on the wall. Another suggestion is to focus on the flame of a candle as it flickers and dances. When your mind wanders, you bring your attention back to the focus. In order to transcend thought, you want to shift your focus from the foreground of your mind, to the background of your awareness.

Perhaps the method of meditation that I've found most useful in such instances was that in which I recited a mantra, over and over again in my mind. This prevents other thoughts from intruding, until eventually the spaciousness behind my thoughts is revealed.

Mantras are the repetition of words and phrases of special significance, and can be said either out loud or internally. All of the spiritual paths have some version of the mantra and some say that the universe began with a word, or sound from God.

Mantras are merely a way of introducing and focusing this vibration, or sound, in ourselves. Sound is a form of vibration. In fact everything in the universe vibrates at a certain frequency. Thus, by repeating a mantra, you introduce the vibrational frequency of that mantra into yourself, so that you too begin to resonate with the words and vibration of the mantra.

By saying a mantra, you are literally tuning yourself to resonate at the same vibrational frequency as the intention of that chosen mantra. Eventually, as you come to resonate at the same frequency as the mantra, the mantra gains its own momentum.

In Sufism there is a saying, "you stop doing the mantra, and the mantra starts doing you". Whether or not this is true, the message is clear. Mantras become a part of you and have the potential to affect you on a very deep and transformational level as they replace unpleasant sensations with love and positivity. The subsequent reduction in stress and anxiety can have innumerable physical benefits.

Most of you have experienced being caught up in a repetitive pattern of thoughts. When these thoughts are negative or angry this can be particularly unpleasant and often damaging. By replacing those types of thoughts with a mantra, you not only break the habitual negative flow, you also create and reinforce a new flow that is both beneficial and positive. It's not necessary to investigate the old thoughts, simply replace them with a mantra.

Recent scientific studies into the neuroplasticity of the brain support this (Littleton and Cho, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 2015). These studies show that neural pathways are either strengthened by repetition, or weakened by lack of use. By replacing negative thoughts with a mantra you are literally rewiring your brain with the message behind the mantra, whilst simultaneously weakening habitual negative thinking. Similarly, when stuck in a downward emotional spiral, a mantra can not only break the habitual emotional pattern, but also replace it with the positive emotion that you normally associate with the mantra.

At a deeper level, mantras can help you connect and vibrate with a higher level of consciousness. The stream of thoughts going through your mind is often a conditioned response which you have little control over. By focusing on the mantra, the thoughts fade away into the background, and eventually you are left with pure stillness.

It is important to point out that mantras are not affirmations and they're not prayers. Affirmations work on the psychological and emotional level to bring about a more positive state of mind, and with prayer, you're using your own words to ask for something specific. With a mantra you're strengthening your focus and getting away from thought patterns which are negative or cause distraction. Some people find that connecting to the meaning of the mantra helps them to focus. This is a very personal thing, and over time you may find that how you experience your mantra changes, as it becomes part of you, and you become part of it.

The mantra I often use is just two words: "letting go", which for me signify the letting go of tension and the releasing of the mind's grasp on intrusive thoughts. Most people prefer to adopt their own mantra which can be made up or come from a spiritual source.

A popular one with a rhythm is "I am that I am", which is one of the Hebrew Torah's most famous lines, and was reputedly the answer God gave to Moses when he asked for his name.

The added benefit of using a mantra such as "I am that I am" is that the mind begins to focus in on what "I am" really means. Is the "I am" our body, our mind, or is it something else entirely? It is the something else, the other, that's the real essence of our nature. Another variant of this is "Ham-Sah" which in Hindu means "I am that."

Perhaps the most widely known mantra is "OM", pronounced "A-U-M". From the frequently quoted 'sound of the universe' to its reported power as a means to unite those around us, "OM" is a small word that carries a multitude of meanings. The word "OM" appears to have originated in one of the Upanishads which are a collection of ancient philosophical Hindu texts. In the 'Mandukya', it tells us that "OM is what has been, what is and what shall be."

"OM" represents everything - the beginning, the middle and the end, the past, the present and the future. It encompasses all sounds - mankind, nature, machinery ... it is the hum of the earth.

'A' (pronounced as an elongated "awe") \- this sound represents the beginning - the creation of the universe and everything within it. It has been described as symbolising the 'conscious or waking state'. The sound originates in the belly, and vibrates in the upper chest. The tongue stays in the lower part of the mouth and the lips are parted, creating a feeling of openness.

'U' (a prolonged "oooh" sound) \- this sound signifies the steadiness that carries you along and the energy that preserves and sustains you and the world. From the 'A' sound, the lips begin to move together and the 'U' sound gradually moves forward, rolling along the upper palate and vibrating in the throat.

'M' ("mmmm" sound) characterizes the sound of closing the mouth towards the end. Here the tongue comes to the top of the mouth and the lips come together to create a protracted humming noise.

If spoken out loud, it is important to breathe between each mantra. Otherwise the constant repetition of the sound will leave you breathless and unsettled. There's also a fourth sound: silence; the residue you are left with once the breath and the sound fade away. This silence or stillness is the real you, your consciousness, which is separate from your mind and body.

Arising from stillness, maintained by steadiness and fading back into silence – "OM" represents the fact that everything constantly changes - from movement into stillness, from sound into silence, the endless cycle of life. In the context of Buddhism, "OM" is also said to represent the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha.

A well- known Tibetan Buddhist mantra is "Om Mani Padme Hum". The full intent of the six syllable meditation, "Om Mani Padme Hum" is indicated by the next four syllables. Mani, meaning jewel, symbolizes the intention to become enlightened, as well as attain compassion, and love. The two syllables, padme, meaning lotus, symbolize wisdom. Whereas the final syllable, hum, indicates indivisibility, a reference to how pure consciousness must be achieved by an indivisible unity of method and wisdom.

Thus the six syllables together mean:

"...with the practice of a path which is an indivisible union of method and wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech, and mind into the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha." (Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama)

Mantras are the ultimate mobile device; you can use them anytime and anywhere. Whether you're in the car, at work, with friends or on your own, if you're saying your mantra internally it can always be with you.

Finding a rhythm, a flow to meditation, is something that some of you may struggle with, but as you recite your mantra, you let things unfold in the sea of consciousness which you're a part of, and your mind begins to relax. Ultimately it helps you to navigate your life a little easier as you expand your consciousness.

It reminds me a bit of the streets of Hanoi, a big bustling city in Vietnam's north, only a two hour drive from the stillness of Halong Bay. In Hanoi, shop fronts and their vendors spill out onto the narrow street sidewalks, and it is possible to buy goods of every conceivable size and shape, ranging from small trinkets to large household appliances.

In Hanoi, there are people everywhere, and there is a steady unrelenting flow of traffic through streets where traffic lights and pedestrian crossings are scarce. Most of the traffic is from motorbikes and mopeds. There are much fewer cars, but still you have to choose your moment to get across the road. Crossing such teeming streets can put you in peril if you don't have your wits about you.

Rather than waiting for the traffic to subside, which almost never happens, you have to indicate that you're about to cross and check there are no cars, then stride out confidently into the traffic and let the motorbikes flow around you till you reach the other side. It's a matter of finding the right rhythm and moving with confidence.

If you find the right rhythm with your mantra you'll eventually feel a change in your headspace as it empties of all other thought and there is only spaciousness left. Focus in on this spaciousness and you will begin to notice a change in your perception, an important first step in expanding your awareness.

This change in perception keeps your focused on the present moment where you begin to appreciate the life force flowing around you. There's consciousness in everything and you begin to feel how you are a part of this consciousness and it makes you feel glad to be alive.

Some tips for using a mantra:

Depending on the type of mantra, you may wish to place your focus on your heart or in between your eyebrows as you use the mantra. Or if the mantra is specific for something such as healing, then place your awareness on that part of your body.

Begin by clearing your mind. Centre yourself. Take a few deep breaths. It's easy to be distracted and be thinking of something else, even while you are saying your mantra. Having a clear mind helps with concentration and awareness.

Remind yourself why you are using your mantra. Be clear to yourself. Are you using it to maintain your focus, to clear all thought or perhaps to ponder on a particular phrase?

Start saying your mantra, either out loud or internally. You can use the mantra in sync with your breathing. For example, breathe in and think the first word of your mantra "Peace", exhale and complete the mantra, "Release".

Continue the mantra with each inhalation and exhalation. Experiment with this to see what works for you. It must be emphasised that it is important to keep the rhythm of your breathing comfortable. If you find you're continuously holding your breath between mantras, then you will soon become breathless, which only puts the body under stress. Using a mantra is like any other form of meditation.

When you realize that your thoughts have wandered, just simply refocus, and return to your mantra.

Experiment with your mantra in different situations. If you are angry, you can try saying your mantra louder and at a faster pace, to drown out your angry thoughts. Or if you're in a quiet place and are feeling calm, try whispering the mantra and using it to lead you into silence.

Perhaps the greatest difficulty with living in the present moment is learning to accept things as they are without trying to analyse or judge them. The mind's tendency is to constantly put a judgement on everything that happens, which can lead to a vicious cycle of negative thoughts in your mind.

In mindfulness, you are not trying to eliminate the thought process. Obviously if you are performing a task you are still thinking. You are trying to maintain your focus on the present moment without getting caught up in a negative cycle of judgement and worry. There is an acceptance of what is happening.

Acceptance, as a concept, is easy to talk about but actually putting this concept into practise can be extremely difficult. For some people even the most trivial problems can send their mind into a spin where they completely lose focus of what's happening in the here and now. They walk around barely cognisant of what's happening around them, as their sole focus is on the problem looming large in their mind.

How then can you learn to accept things when it seems as if your whole world is crashing down around your ears? How can you maintain your focus in the present moment when your mind is troubled and your problems weigh so heavily on your mind?

I am the first to admit that some problems still put my head into a spin. I'd like to say that I glide through life as this calm, unflappable individual, but that would be untrue. However, being able to tap into that deep reservoir of wisdom, which is the universal consciousness, definitely has its benefits. I've come to the conclusion that when faced with a seemingly insurmountable hurdle, the key is to take steps to move in a different direction. Don't let yourself become overwhelmed by the massive road block in front of you. Go around it and take each day as it comes. Eventually you will work through it, and you never know what you might find on the other side.

Sometimes there are days when everything that can go wrong, does go wrong and you feel as if the universe is conspiring against you. Take this scenario as an example. You wake up one morning, you stub your toe as you get out of the shower; you notice you're twenty minutes late, and in your haste, you stall your car as you exit on to the street. These incidences are relatively minor and although you are somewhat annoyed by then, like most people, if you are determined, you just get on with your day.

However, because you're late, you are now faced with bumper to bumper traffic, and when you finally crawl into your car space at work and arrive at your desk, you discover there's been a sudden crisis meeting called at work. In the meeting you are told forty percent of company staff will face redundancy in the coming months due to a workplace reshuffle and you discover your name is top of the list. Problem is you've just signed the mortgage for a new house and you've used up most of your savings.

Suddenly fate has thrown you a huge curve ball and it seems as if everything in your life is turned completely upside down. Mentally you start calculating how much long service leave you are owed and try to figure out if you can somehow survive till you find a new job. Maybe you even start to panic a little as you realise you're fifty five and your job prospects are not great in an industry that hires mainly up and coming young people.

I've been there before. I was in a similar scenario once whilst working at a University where cutbacks were common, as have many others who have worked for large companies. When faced with impending doom, it is difficult to just live each moment as it comes with a calm demeanour. So often you put yourself through mental torture, extrapolating your possible future with the worst case scenario, rather than taking the necessary steps to move on and look at the positives. It is important to not let yourself become swamped by the enormity of your problems but to move forward one step at a time. You can't fix everything though, and maybe some things you have to let go. A period of time out for contemplation may be necessary before you make important decisions.

The traumas in your life are often just opportunities to move your life in a different direction. For example, I have known people who when faced with redundancy have started their own business and have now found great satisfaction in doing something they love whilst being their own boss. When I left the university, I ended up subcontracted to an educational company where I was able to keep teaching, but with far greater freedom and autonomy. I have met cancer survivors who have completely changed their lifestyle and have gone on to become great motivational speakers. I also have friends that have found themselves suddenly single, and who have then gone on to meet someone truly wonderful.

So often when a trauma happens you go inward and allow your ego to control how you react. Whilst trying to go into damage control, you may end up extrapolating to the worst case scenario because your ego tells you unless you do something quickly you may lose your home, lose your savings, lose your family, or perhaps lose your life. You strongly identify with your mind and its negative thoughts and are under the illusion that you are unlucky, a victim of a life that is somehow happening to you. When you strongly identify with playing the role of victim, you become attuned to being miserable when something bad happens. Every time something goes wrong, your ego continues to remind you that you are a victim of your circumstances.

We all have an ego. Your ego is that loud inner voice which tries to direct your life. It's a function of the mind which is there primarily to keep you safe by leading you out of dangerous situations. "Don't go there, don't do that, don't spend too much or you'll have nothing left," says the little voice in our head.

It is fairly well acknowledged amongst psychologists that you need an ego to survive: to find a job so you can pay for food and shelter, to make sure your body is comfortable.

What happens though is that as you develop, your ego becomes strongly linked to your sense of personal identity and if something bad happens, that self you work so hard to maintain, becomes threatened. For example, in the case of the loss of a job, you may no longer perceive yourself as successful, and that can lead to depression and feelings of low self-esteem. Perhaps your identity is even linked to working in a particular type of career and when opportunities in that area of work dry up, or you become ill and your circumstances change, it can feel like your life is now meaningless.

Just remember, the ego is not the real you, it is a function of your mind/body. Your perceived identity is not the real you either, as that idea is pre-conditioned and reinforced by all the people around you who expect you to behave in a certain way. Only your consciousness, the stillness within, is the real you. As part of the universal consciousness, only your consciousness in the present moment is real.

When your look outwardly, with greater awareness of the here and now, you can see the great opportunities that are thrown up before you by the universal consciousness. But you need to open your eyes and actually look. You need to find your focus and avoid becoming distracted.

The challenge for you is that you become so immersed in thinking and planning and performing, pandering to your ego's every whim that you can quickly lose sight of what's really happening around you; the here and the now, the stream of consciousness that envelops you and makes you truly enjoy life. You are so stuck in your head worrying about the future and fretting about things gone wrong, that the only thing that is real, the present moment, passes you by.

But is living in the present moment enough to reveal your true nature, your awakened self? Can you get in touch with that inner stillness, your consciousness, by simply leaving the world of your irrational thoughts behind? I believe that a regular meditation practice allows the gap between your thoughts to widen so you naturally expand your awareness and begin to live in the present. However, you have to work on breaking that cycle of negative thought and judgement, and become aware when your focus is distracted by thoughts, and bring it back to the present.

The reality is that in this fast-paced world, you are being constantly bombarded with different challenges. When bad things happen to you, it may be better to accept that some things may need to be changed, take positive steps to make those changes, and walk away with peace in your heart. Sadly, the ability to ride through the highs and lows of life with grace and dignity is something only a rare few people can actually manage.

This reminds me of a story I once heard about a young Buddhist monk. It didn't seem to matter what life presented to him, he dealt with it. The story went something like this:

There was once a young Buddhist monk who lived in a monastery on the outskirts of a small village.

One day a married couple with a teenage daughter came to see him at the monastery. They said to him: "Our daughter is pregnant and we have reason to believe that you're the father of the unborn child."

The monk sat there listening and when they had finished, the only words he said to them was: "Is that so...?"

The couple went away and in time their daughter gave birth to a son so they took the baby up to the monastery and presented him to the monk saying: "Since you're the baby's father we expect you to raise and look after this child. We can't afford to pay for the child's upkeep."

The monk listened to them and again all he said was: "Is that so...?"

The child was raised in the monastery and year after year, he was loved and cared for by the monk.

Some years later when the boy had begun to grow up, the married couple returned to the monastery and said to the monk: "It turns out that the baby was not yours, but the father was someone from outside the village. We'd like our grand-son to come back and live with us now."

The monk simply listened to them and his only response was: "Is that so...?"

The boy was returned to the grandparents who continued to look after him, whilst the monk stayed in the monastery and quietly resumed his life.

I think we could all learn a lesson from the monk's quiet and humble attitude and his ability to live his life with total acceptance of whatever should come his way.

How wonderful it would be if you could face life with the stoical decorum of a monk. So often though when you become immersed in your thoughts, they give rise to uncomfortable feelings which you then engage with, the end result being that you feel miserable. For example, you might see a nice dress or a shirt hanging in a shop, and consider buying it. But suddenly, you remember what your mother said, that such clothing would make you look fat, and then you begin to feel upset. You also remember that she said you should really be on a diet, problem is, you were planning to go out to lunch that day, and this thought only perpetuates your feeling of dissatisfaction. Pretty soon you become immersed in an endless cycle of thoughts which are making you feel totally miserable.

In order to overcome this suffering, the Tibetan Buddhists suggest that you observe the uncomfortable feelings as they arise, but don't grasp on to them. Eventually they will subside much like the waves merging with the sea. If you consciously practise this on a daily basis, observing the uncomfortable feelings and letting them go, fairly soon you will be able to anticipate when they are coming and will be able to remain detached from them. If your thoughts come and go like the waves on an ocean, then eventually, like in a calm sea, your thoughts will merge with it and then you can simply enjoy the moment of just being.

It's important to note that you're not trying to get rid of your negative thoughts. You're observing them in a detached fashion as they come and go. Advocates of positive thinking who say you should try to keep the negative thoughts away may actually be misleading people. By trying to keep negative thoughts away you may be inadvertently focusing more on them.

It's far better to not grasp onto any particular thought as it enters your mind, but let it pass through. Try not to judge what is going on around you. Just let it unfold. If you find yourself starting to analyse a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment. I find that works for me every time. If the thoughts keep coming, pause and take a few deep breaths. Breathing in deeply helps to relax both the body and the mind, and provides a space where you can gain a bit of perspective.

If you are faced with a particularly challenging event, try the meditation on the following page, for overcoming the flow of stressful thoughts which can lead to anxiety, anger or a feeling of panic.

Quick Meditation for De-stressing:

Start by sitting comfortably with your feet on the ground, a straight back, and your hands in your lap. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and exhale.

Imagine a "clear button" at the centre of your palm. If you feel like stressful thoughts are building into a big reaction, press the button with the index finger of the opposite hand. Keep pressing it as you picture it signalling your stress response system to calm down.

Count to three, taking a deep breath in with each count and picturing each number as a colour and exhale the stress. On your final exhale, let go of the stressor completely and come back to the present moment. If one try doesn't help, repeat the process two or three times until it works.

Now, think back to a peaceful and happy time, which will give you a better attitude toward the challenge that's making you anxious. Picture this happy time clearly in your mind, where you were, who you were with and what was happening at the time. Use this memory to thwart fear and invoke calmness and clarity, making you feel larger than the situation.

Bring those pleasant feelings into the present moment, take a deep breath and exhale. Now you are ready to continue with your day.

In time, if you persist with detaching from the cycle of anxious thoughts, you find you can address problems with a greater sense of calm. You learn to adopt a sort of stoicism by accepting that there'll always be problems of one type or another. You can calmly learn to cope with the problems when they do arrive, and you're far more likely to experience joy when they don't.

Some people are never happy because they are constantly projecting their happiness on to some future event. "If I get that job, I'll finally be happy...If I lose 10 kg of weight, I will finally be happy...If I find the perfect partner, I will finally be happy." In learning to appreciate everything and everyone in the now, you have the opportunity to find the happiness that's always there, but not always recognized.

There is no debating the fact that life is a challenge. We find it difficult to accept changes and feel unprepared for them when they happen. If you can view life's challenges as part of the general flow of human existence, you can learn to become the watcher, and then grow to realise that these difficulties cannot truly harm the spirit inside you. If anything, the ability to face the challenges that life dishes up can actually help you to grow.

Even the most highly evolved and enlightened human beings still have to face adversity. Without challenges, humans would stagnate, wither up and die. It's the way that each challenge is approached that defines you as a human being. Ask yourself, do you want to be the person who always throws a tantrum when things don't go your way, or do you want to be the person who still finds joy in everyday life whilst quietly negotiating the potholes along the road?
Chapter Six – Releasing Thoughts about the Past and Future

One of the greatest obstacles to living in the present moment is your mind and its tendency to delve into the past. Although we need to be able to think in order to complete daily tasks, so much of our thinking is about things that have already happened, particularly negative events which cause us stress and worry. It is difficult to move beyond such patterns of thinking because so many of us have high expectations. When things go wrong we carry a lot of disappointment with us. But even when pleasant things happen to us, we can end up daydreaming about them. We relive them in our mind, so that the rest of our day passes by in a blur.

There is so much we miss in our lives, because we are focused on the past. We can end up stuck in our heads, captivated by our mind and our thoughts. However, our consciousness operates outside the mind. It is part of a universal consciousness and if we can tap into that then our world view is completely changed. But in order to expand our awareness and flow with the universal consciousness, we need to stop focusing on the past.

This is easier to say than do. As things happen in your daily life, you constantly compare these events to events in the past. You do this for a number of reasons. Firstly, you need a frame of reference for overcoming problems that arise. Naturally, you fall back on your past experiences for guidance. For example, if you lose something and can't find it, you cast your mind back to all the possible places you've seen this item in the past and check these locations. Solving current problems using past experiences can be a useful adaptation for survival. If you are always losing things, then you learn to put things back in the same place to overcome future problems.

Secondly, your ego tries to protect you by reminding you of emotional experiences that may have caused you pain in the past. By focusing on this pain, you can take steps to avoid it in the future.

However, sometimes your mind does not want to let go of past events and the pain associated with them, and so your mind ends up in a cyclic loop. You can end up constantly dredging up events, expecting them to reoccur in the future.

Perhaps at the last family Christmas party, you had a massive argument with your brother, in which you accused him of being stingy. Perhaps he retaliated with hurtful words, accusing you of being overly controlling. The argument escalated and one of you stormed out. Maybe you managed to patch things up over the intervening year. However, as the next Christmas party looms ahead, you begin to worry about whether the two of you can cope being in the same room with each other for four hours. In your head you go through a progressive scenario of 'what ifs' and 'what then'. This can get you so worked up that you can't sleep, and the thoughts remain churning around in your mind. At the end of the day what you have lost is your peace of mind.

What's certain is that you're no longer operating in the present, if your mind is constantly replaying the past. If you're not aware of the present, you're not living in the moment; in fact you're not really living at all, just going through the motions. You may miss many beautiful inspiring moments as you worry about the past reinventing itself. Maybe you make it the next family Christmas celebration and all goes well, but you're not really enjoying the moment. Instead you're constantly waiting for the past to re-emerge. Your ego is trying to prepare you as it creates scenarios in your head. Its aim is to shelter you from the infinitesimally small possibility that events will be replayed exactly the same way as last Christmas.

Maybe it still bothers you that your brother is stingy, but that doesn't mean you have to behave with the same conditioned responses from the past. Change is constantly occurring and you are always evolving. Change is occurring every second. Although it is difficult to overcome your long standing beliefs, with effort you can change the way in which you respond when those beliefs are challenged. Sure your brother might be stingy, and perhaps he always turns up at Christmas celebrations with cheap presents and cheap booze. But rather than dwelling on his deficiencies as a person, try to focus on the positives. Perhaps he's a great storyteller or great with the kids. Maybe with a change in your attitude you can change the entire way in which you experience the Christmas family get together.

So you may well ask, what's this got to do with expanding your awareness? One of the fundamental ways of increasing your awareness is by recognising that everyone is part of the universal consciousness. It's easier to tap into this consciousness when you recognise that your spirit and everyone else's spirit don't exist as separate entities but that they're universally linked. Leave your judgemental ego behind and embrace your commonalities with other people. Immerse yourself in the present moment with all its highs and lows, take in everything with your senses, and learn to let go of the past. It takes effort, but you can slowly learn to transcend the demands of the ego and leave its hankering for the past behind.

Some tips for letting go of the past:

Allow yourself to feel the emotion: When you're fixated on a past event, it's often something that was very emotional. The more you try to deny the feelings that it represents to you, the harder it is to let it go. Allow yourself to feel the emotions it evokes. If it makes you mad, so be it. Sad? Feel it. You have to be able to feel the emotion before you will begin to heal from it.

Understand the other person's side: Sometimes you spend so much time justifying your own reason for being hurt, angry or upset that you fail to realize the other person had their own justifications for doing what they did. And, if you're too hard headed to admit this, you find yourself never fully resolving your issue. Try to see their side of it. What reasons may they have had to do what they did? Remember, they chose their actions based upon their past experiences and beliefs. This doesn't mean you have to agree with them. It just means you acknowledge them.

Take responsibility for your part: If you had a part in the situation not being the best it could have been, admit it. Maybe you screwed up and said or did something you shouldn't have. The first step toward moving past it is to own it. Everyone has a misstep from time to time. If that was your time, so be it.

Accept it is what it is: When it comes down to it, whatever happened in the past can't be changed. It is what it is. You have two choices at this point. You can accept it, learn from it and move forward, or you can continue to punish yourself for it and hold on to it forever. I don't know about you, but the first choice sounds much better to me.

Stay in the Present: Obviously, the more time you spend in the past, the less time you have to spend in the present. You can change that by focusing on all of the great things that lie in front of you right now. One of the best ways to do this is to practice giving thanks and gratitude for all of the blessings in your life. Spend time each morning or night listing all of the wonderful people, things and opportunities that you have. And, when you do something, fully engage in it. Keep your mind focused. If you feel your mind drifting into the past, call it back. The more you concentrate on what you're doing, the greater satisfaction you'll receive.

Channel your energy creatively: If you bottle things up when something is bothering you, it's not good for you physically or mentally. It's best if you can get negative emotions out in some shape or form. Try to find a creative outlet for your energy. Paint. Draw. Put things together. Tear things apart. Do something that is constructive and helps you express yourself while channelling your energy.

Meditate: Letting go of the past involves being at peace not only with yourself, but with the situation or person that has such a hold on you. One way to release that hold is to meditate. Meditation increases your ability to gain insight into situations and helps you to make sense of things. It releases your body of all of negative feelings you've been harbouring, allowing you to feel clean, free and fresh. Once you leave the past behind you, you will have the energy, vitality and life to create a future that holds great promise. By letting go, you gain so much more.

So many of us carry around our baggage from the past, moving it from one situation into the next one. We struggle to let go of our demons, letting our perceptions of the past, negatively influence how we enjoy the present.

For example, I have a close friend, Ronnie, who grew up as the middle child in a family of three siblings. His older brother was exceptionally smart, very talkative, and was the apple of his mother's eye, gaining a lot of his mother's attention. Ronnie's sister, who was born two years after him, was also clever and as the only girl and the youngest child she too received a lot of attention, especially from her father who doted on her. However, Ronnie was very quiet, not particularly talented academically, and often went unnoticed by his parents. Furthermore he was sometimes bullied by his older brother, a behaviour which his parents simply ignored. This caused Ronnie to build up resentment towards them.

By the time Ronnie reached his teens, he felt neglected and overlooked and was emerging into adulthood with an enormous chip on his shoulder. He felt that his parents didn't care about him as much as they did about his two siblings. As a result, he began to develop interests outside the family unit, distancing himself from his family. Later as he grew older, and had his own family, he still carried these feelings of resentment with him and often boycotted family events. Outwardly he appeared to have little empathy for his now aging parents as he continued to cart around the resentment from his childhood, not able or willing to let it go.

Ronnie was not a bad person, but to the rest of his family he was perceived as somewhat distant and selfish. His memories from the past not only directly influenced the way he behaved with others, but also never allowed him to fully enjoy extended family gatherings with his siblings and their children.

Many of you may be carrying around baggage from your past relationships. This can damage your present experiences and your ability to live full and joyful lives. It may not just be from your relationships with your families, but also your friends, your partners, even your work colleagues. Life can be traumatic, leaving you with lasting scars that influence your ability to enjoy the present moment.

The meditation below is designed to help you let go of a difficult issue in the past. Ask someone to read out the words or make your own recording of the words. Be gentle with yourself. Letting go is not easy.

Meditation for Letting Go of the Past and Forgiveness:

Get comfortable...if you`re lying down let your whole body relax and become comfortable. Drop your shoulders. Allow your full body to soften down and relax into a natural position. Allow your arms to relax down by your side, or place them in your lap, keeping your feet apart and settled on the floor.

Close your eyes and focus on the dark space in front of your eyes. This is your time now, so leave all your worries at the door. Allow yourself to relax into the flow of the moment. There's only right here, right now. Notice any sounds outside of the room, acknowledge them and let them go. Notice any sounds inside of the room, acknowledge them and let them go.

Take a deep cleansing breath in...and let it flow out again, breathing out the tension in your body. Allow your breathing to fall into its own natural rhythm, not trying to control it in any way. Just notice the cool sensation as the air goes in through your nose, down the back of your throat, and into your lungs. Then notice as it leaves again back through your throat and nose.

If any thoughts intrude, just acknowledge them, and allow them to flow on past, let them go, as you bring your attention back to your breathing, in and out. Watching your natural breathing rhythm, in and out...

Now as you inhale, feel yourself breathe in relaxation. As you exhale, feel yourself breathe out tension. With every in-breath, you breathe in relaxing, invigorating air. With every out- breath your shoulders drop and your body relaxes as you release any tension. Feel your chest and stomach gently rise and fall with each breath.

As you keep your awareness on your breathing, think of a person or memory that you wish to let go of. It might be someone or something which is presently in your life or it might be something or someone from your past. If it is a person, visualise the person standing in front of you. If it's a memory, visualise the memory you want to let go of. Think of your reasons for letting this person or issue leave your life. It may be because the person or situation harms your well-being or causes you to feel angry or sad, or it may simply be time to let go of a situation once and for all.

Now bring your attention to your solar plexus, your stomach area... notice any feelings or emotions there that you associate with this person or this issue, gently notice them with compassion... and then let them go, completely erasing or dissolving those feelings. Now bring your attention into your chest area. Gently breathe into your heart, letting it soften with each breath. As you breathe out, let go of any tension in your heart. Feel any pain and let it go with each out breath... releasing all pain, resentment, anger, grief, self-loathing, loss and regret.

If it's a person you wish to let go of, visualise the person standing there, wish them well, bless them with love and forgiveness for their journey, and watch them turn around and move off on their path. Feel the release around your solar plexus, and your chest knowing that you're safe and protected. You hold your own power with love.

Let yourself now be aware of any feelings of heaviness leftover- in your body or your emotions. Visualise yourself under a gentle waterfall... let the water pour over you, over your hands and feet and every part of your body, clearing and cleansing your emotions of any negative residue.

As you let go of the past, you realise that there are no mistakes, only lessons and growth as you move forward...continuous cycles of learning and growing...situations and people entering your life, and leaving again when the purpose is served. Everyone we meet is for a reason...a blessing or a lesson. Everything is happening in the right way at the right time. Let go of any hurt in your heart and mind, and make room to invite in peace and healing, to welcome new and beautiful people and situations.

As you breathe in, allow your breath to fill up your whole chest area and know that you're loved and you're free. Fill your heart with feelings of compassion, love and acceptance. Feel the lightness of being as you bring in new energy with each breath.

And as you bring your awareness back to the flow of your breathing, in and out, notice the natural movement of your belly, rising and falling, as you breathe. Be aware again of your full body as it rests against the floor or seat. Bring your attention to your toes, and give them a little wiggle. Then move your fingers and give them a little wiggle. Give your shoulders a little shrug. Let yourself be aware of the room again, of all the sounds close by.

And when you feel ready to, you can open your eyes, bringing yourself back to the present moment. Nice and gently, soaking up all the lovely feelings. Take your time and have a little stretch.

Just as some people let their past affect their behaviour, others try too hard to control what happens to them in the future.

Every little event in their lives has to be planned and prepared for and of course, when things don't go to plan, they either have a massive tantrum or collapse in a heap. Even when an event is organised with military precision, the law of probabilities means that something is bound to go awry or deviate away from the expected. That's just the way life works. If you have false expectations that everything will run smoothly, then you are only going to be disappointed. It's far better to roll with the punches. Prepare what you can, but also accept the unexpected.

At the other extreme, there are some people who are completely fatalistic. They believe everything that happens to them is written in the stars or controlled by destiny. With such an attitude they believe there's no point in trying to change anything as it is all hopelessly out of your control. By observing such beliefs they're able to shift responsibility away from their actions onto something as nebulous as the alignment of the planets.

But whether you believe in free will and your ability to totally control your own destiny, or in fate and the power of an unseen force, one thing is certain; your decisions have the ability to affect others around you and they do have consequences.

Although the universal consciousness beats to its own drum, and things rarely unfold the way you have planned them to, the decisions you make are yours alone. The decisions you make can alter not only your life but everyone else's lives around you. Like a ripple effect, you don't always see the consequences of your actions till much later, sometimes not till years later.

What you say and do (your free will) definitely affects the future, but the circumstances in which the present is happening are predetermined by all that happened before, by events it is impossible to know about (the harbingers of destiny). So in a way both destiny and free will interact with each other and determine the only thing that matters, the now or the present moment.

Like in the best planned wedding, there will always be those unexpected events that happen out of the blue: the uncle or cousin who drinks too much and offends the bridal party, the wedding car that breaks down, the best man's speech which causes shock waves throughout the room. You don't have complete control over the car you're driving in so it's best to accept that change will occur and know that you're part of that change and try to enjoy it.

Most importantly, the thought stream which goes around in your head bears little relationship to what actually happens in the present. Some of you think you're great at predicting the future, but the truth is that the future never comes, because the future doesn't actually exist. What actually happens in the now is influenced by hundreds of other events brought into play, by things as diverse as the actions of other people to changes in weather conditions.

It reminds me of a joke I once heard. "Do you want to know how to make God laugh? Just tell him your plans." You may think you're great at predicting and planning for your future but the universal consciousness moves to its own rhythm. Things are constantly changing and evolving around you and you're limited in your perceptions by the human organism that your consciousness resides in.

Nothing is really as it seems. What you see and touch in front of you is perceived only by the narrow range of senses that your body is equipped with, and it's not seen and felt the same way by all living creatures. A table is made up of atoms and is basically energy. You know it as a table because that's what humans call it, but to a rat it may just be a few random pieces of wood convenient to scurry over to reach the crumbs on its surface.

Your body is also made of atoms and energy. Your body is meaningful to you because you perceived at some subliminal level that your consciousness resides within your body. Your body has the ability to move and feel, and from a young age you strongly identify with your body. You think it's the real "you" but it's just atoms, which make up cells which contain energy. Eventually that energy gets used up according to your finite lifespan and your body will wither and die.

Your consciousness is the real "you", for it never dies. It's part of the universal consciousness, a force that can never die and is constantly shaped by all the life forces within it. So ultimately you can plan for the future all you like and you can dwell on the past with all its problems, but it's the universal consciousness, which you are part of, which ultimately determines your present moment. This is where the life force really flows. So let go of your past, don't try to pre-empt your future, and be comforted by the knowledge that the real "you" is eternal and untouchable. Try to enjoy life by taking each moment as it unfolds, and remember life is what you bring to it. If you don't join in then you are missing a great opportunity!
Chapter Seven – Living in a material world

The search for "I am", is not for the faint-hearted, and so often when on this journey of self-discovery, you may find you come face to face with your own weaknesses. With a human body as a vehicle and a mind that is trapped under the weight of its own identity, it is no surprise that you often fail to live up to your own expectations. The fact that we're all spiritual beings operating within the physical constraints of a human body is enough of a challenge in itself. Added to this though, are the persistent pressures put upon us by society, our families and friends.

Much of your way of being is conditioned from an early age, and it's overcoming that conditioning that is really the key. You have so much invested in your personal identity, the way you look, the things you own, the place where you live, that it is difficult to look beyond that to see that you're actually part of something far greater.

It comes back to who is the "I am" that is inside your body? If you believe that you have an individual consciousness and that your consciousness is merely a by-product of brain function then you are limiting yourself. You're so much more than the body and brain that you occupy. You only have to talk those who've had a near death experience or lain in a coma, to know that your consciousness continues to exist even when your body and brain function are impaired. You're a part of a much wider consciousness that does not die.

It's hard though to look beyond the limitations of the body because you're so conditioned to believe that your body is your entire identity. You can touch things, you feel pain and sensation, and you respond to events by becoming emotional. That is how you're hard-wired. But the truth is that these are merely perceptions which are very much governed by the limited scope of your senses. You see things in a particular way because of the lenses in your eyes, so you believe that this is what they're really like. Another creature may have different sense organs and may experience the world in a completely different way. This doesn't mean that their version is wrong. If you take away the body, then you're left with pure consciousness, pure awareness. This is your true nature, the "I am". You can't remove consciousness. The body may wither away and die, but consciousness exists for ever.

Embarking on a spiritual journey to find your true nature inevitably comes with many setbacks and challenges though and it may seem easier at times to just give into the ego's demands and to revert to old ways of being. For example, when I first experienced myself existing outside the shell of my body as part of a greater consciousness, I panicked. I thought, if I'm able to become part of this spiritual continuum, then who's in control of my body? I felt an urgent need to be grounded within my body, for at that time I still completely identified with being my body.

Then all the negative thoughts came flooding in. My first thought was, this is scary. Although it's totally awesome to experience what it's like to be a bird or a tree, I kept thinking, this is not a normal human experience. I'd let the thoughts come rushing in and my ego would be telling me, it's far safer to stick with what you already know, and then I'd start analysing the experience and then of course, the moment of bliss would pass. But having said that, it wasn't really those Satori moments that I struggled with, but learning to let go of my physical attachment to things.

I had a very strong attachment to things. Although my family weren't poor and I'd never really wanted for much whilst growing up, I knew that my parents worked hard to put food on the table and that clothes and household items were expensive. Therefore I had a great respect for the things that were provided for me, whether it was clothing or toys or books, and I looked after my things really well.

As a child, I particularly loved collecting things, like the crystals I kept in a box under my bed, and the stamps I'd lovingly placed in my stamp album. Having an artistic temperament, I've always loved beautiful things and would fondly admire the hand-made things around my home. I didn't realise quite how much I loved such things till my first trip overseas to Africa. It was at the end of this trip that I first realised my attachment to things was a great hindrance, a limitation to my freedom and my ability to experience the true joys of life.

I was only twenty three and just a few years out of university when I decided to plan a trip to East Africa. Whereas all my friends were planning grand tours of Europe, with a lengthy stay in London, I had long since decided that my first trip overseas would be somewhere exotic. I wanted to see animals in their natural habitat, to visit the cradle of human civilisation, and perhaps gain some insights into our human existence.

After a two day journey I found myself in a Boeing 747, preparing to touch down in Nairobi's Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The plane descended over kilometres of open savannah land; dry grassy plains, dotted with the occasional tree, where herds of wild antelope roamed. Nobody had prepared my for the beauty of this country with its wide open vistas, and I was immediately entranced by its magic.

The following day, after meeting my tour group in Nairobi, we climbed into window-less trucks with low sides and quickly left the city behind. Having passed several small villages, we reached the open grasslands of Amboseli National Park. Here the savannah land was dotted with Umbrella trees, a species of Acacia tree thick with thorns. Herds of elephants grazed in the distance. There was wildlife roaming everywhere: Impala, Gnu, Dik Diks, and Giraffe just to name a few. We passed a Balboa tree, with its massive trunk; its branches laden with black and white Vervet monkeys. I figured that if Noah had indeed loaded his ark with two of everything then he must have got them from here. I'd never seen so many different species of animals in the one compact location.

Watching the animals graze and hunt, I felt like an interloper happening upon some secret event which I could only watch and never fully participate in. These animals knew their place, they survived on their instincts, and despite many threats to their existence, still managed to proliferate and breed in this harsh environment.

Any man living in such an environment would've required an enormous skill set to survive. Out of sheer necessity, he would've searched for a better way of life, a life that did not rely on hunting and living amongst the elements. It was the most successful amongst the primitive men that survived and continued their legacy in future generations. It was this gene pool that was passed on, allowing man to evolve into the sophisticated, quick-thinking individual that walks the earth today.

Inevitably, man's main threat was brought upon himself. Despite successfully setting up farms, learning how to make tools and how to trade, primitive man could not help quash his greedy desire for more possessions and land. This greed led to conflict between tribes and wars between neighbouring countries. Even after centuries of civilized society, in this respect, humans have not really progressed that far. People still go to war. They still kill each other for money and power. Despite more wealth and comfort than any other living creatures, people still search for, that ever elusive, happiness.

On our way to Tsavo, we stopped to watch some Masai warriors dance by the roadside. Tall and reed thin, wearing bright red skirts (kanga), they sported long braided hair painted with red ochre. Their language was very guttural with lots of clicks and pops, but it was their animated and energetic dancing that most impressed me. They jumped up very high whilst dancing, much like children on pogo sticks, but there was a grace and elegance in the way they moved, rhythmic yet unified.

Close by, we stopped at their village. Enclosed within a fence of sticks, the mud hats in the village formed the pattern of a snail. Children and women milled around us offering us hand-carved objects and a photo opportunity in exchange for crisp dollar notes. Their tribal leader was dressed in a patterned shawl and skirt with spear poised outwards for dramatic effect. I left with a camera filled with images, a bag of soap stone carvings, a hand-painted mask, and a significantly lighter wallet.

Having spent three wonderful weeks in Kenya and Tanzania, all too quickly, my tour was over. In my haste to pack for my return trip back to Melbourne, I'd placed most of my small souvenirs in the one duffel bag. Being rather a novice, I'd naively believed that all baggage handlers could be trusted. But on arrival in India I'd discovered, much to my horror, that my suitcase had been ransacked, and that the duffel bag was missing.

Luckily most of my valuables, including my passport, were in the backpack I'd kept on my person. But the duffel bag was gone, and the loss of these small souvenirs, which I'd planned to give to my family, caused me great grief. I did everything I could to retrieve this bag, wandering from desk to desk at the airport in Mumbai, lodging my details with airport officials, and pestering the staff at my hotel for updates. As the hours passed, deep down I knew that this bag had been stolen, and that I'd never see these things again.

Such was my attachment to these things that I actually wandered around in Mumbai in abject misery for several days feeling very hard done by. Looking back on that time, I realise now that I'd let that one small event colour the final days of what had been a wonderful trip.

The loss of my luggage had seemed like an event of great consequence. Despite being in a vibrant city, surrounded by many interesting sights, I could not keep the black thoughts at bay as I wandered around alone with my thoughts. As I stood next to that great Indian monument, 'The Gateway to India', carved out of basalt and overlooking the Arabian Sea, I pondered on what had led me to this strange part of the world.

Opposite this huge gateway, stood a stone statue of Swami Vivekananda, the Indian Hindu monk who had introduced Vedanta and Yoga to the Western World. Vedanta, I later discovered, is the knowledge of the true self as consciousness. It's from this philosophy that the whole concept of enlightenment stems from.

Whilst stopping to study this great stone sage, I was approached by an actual monk dressed in a long white robe. And he asked me "Where do you want to go?" Wrapped in a shroud of misery, at first I wasn't sure what he meant. Where did I want to go? Did he mean right there and then or did he mean where did I want to go in life? At that point in time, neither seemed clear. Fumbling for words, I mentioned the Prince of Wales Museum, guessing that he wanted to act as a guide. Still reeling from the loss of my luggage, I barely acknowledged the elderly monk, but he must have sensed my pain, for he gently led me by the arm to a very busy road.

I suddenly realised I'd have to cross this treacherous thoroughfare to get to the history museum. Vehicles of every conceivable shape and size were travelling on this road, ranging from huge lorries to small, three-wheeled Tuk Tuks, and there was not a traffic light in sight. Confidently, the monk escorted me through the traffic, as it wove around us in a constant stream, and he didn't stop till he had safely deposited me outside the tall, metal gates of the Prince of Wales Museum.

Momentarily amazed at having survived such a road crossing, I turned around to look at where we'd come from. When I'd turned back to thank the monk, he'd disappeared. Just like that, he'd vanished into thin air.

Sometimes I think that the monk must have been like an angel. Sensing my distress, he'd come briefly to give me comfort, only to disappear when I was out of danger. Here I was worrying about my missing bag whilst studying a statue of a monk who had taught about enlightenment. And then a real monk, probably already enlightened, had shown me this act of compassion by escorting me across a busy road.

I can't escape the irony that the answer to ridding me of my attachment to worldly things was right there in front of me. There was this strong message, not only in the form of a statue of a monk who'd taught others how to find enlightenment. But also in that truly awakened person who had selflessly aided me in my time of need.

Alas, I'm not the only poor fool who's been trapped by the allure of material things. The Tibetan Buddhists say that this attachment to things is like drinking seawater. The water doesn't really quench your thirst. It serves only to make you thirstier. So as you continue to grasp at things that you desire, your unhappiness continues to grow.

For example, you may greatly desire a new red, sports car. Pretty soon, everywhere you go you begin to notice other people who are driving bright red, sports cars, and your desire is heightened. You notice that the person standing next to such a car on the billboard that you pass every day appears to look very smug and satisfied. Consequently, you plan how you can buy such a car. Perhaps you can't really afford such a car and this knowledge causes you great unhappiness. Every time you see such a car it reminds you of what you're missing. Or perhaps you can afford the car, if you budget for it, and eventually you do buy such a car. However, a few months pass and the car doesn't seem so special anymore. So your desire inevitably becomes shifted to something else, hence the return of your unhappiness.

With some people, this attachment to things can turn into an addiction. I have a friend, Bianca, who is a pathological hoarder. Every night she watches the shopping channel on television, and every couple of days she orders some new item which is delivered in its box and remains unopened. Her entire house is now filled with boxes which tower above her. There's but a narrow goat's trail which weaves in and out amongst the boxes for her to walk along. Bianca's kitchen, laundry and shower are now so densely filled with boxes that she has to order takeaway every night, she washes her clothing at a laundromat, and can only take baths. Her fridge is filled with bulk buy items that no-one will ever eat. She is afraid of turning the heating on lest her house, filled to the brim with boxes, might burn down. Every winter she covers herself with thick layers of blankets in a vain attempt to stay warm.

Bianca told me she no longer knows what half the boxes contain and all of her real valuables, such as her jewellery and documents, are scattered amongst items of lesser value. They have become lost amongst the general milieu. The chaos in her living space has infiltrated her life, and so she struggles to function from day to day. Although this is a fairly extreme example, it just goes to show how some people can let this attachment to things totally dominate their lives.

This type of attachment is not always related to objects though, and can also be related to feelings and emotions. The classic example is that of people who are addicted to 'falling in love'.

They may meet someone who they are attracted to and they instantly fall in love. At first this gives rise to feelings of euphoria, like they are floating along on a cloud when they are with this person. Every waking thought is spent fantasizing about this person, about how perfect they seem. Life seems blissful.

After a while though, they notice the person they're in love with has faults, little quirks that maybe they don't really like. Maybe they snort when they laugh or make some strange grunting sound when watching television. Pretty soon the faults tally up and the person they've fallen for resembles a monster from their worst nightmare. Their happiness soon changes to a feeling of dissatisfaction and eventually they ditch the person. Because that euphoric feeling lasts only a few short months, these people are unable to continue with a relationship once reality sets in.

One of my cousins, Rose, was a classic example of a person addicted to being 'in love'. Every time she was attracted to a new man, she believed he was the man of her dreams. She'd go all out to make him love her, taking hours getting ready before a date. She'd buy a new outfit, apply her makeup with precision, and endeavour to look perfect in every possible way. When she was young, she didn't have to try too hard because she was a naturally beautiful girl and most men fell head over heels in love with her. It also helped that she had a charming personality. Rose was flirtatious and knew what to say to engage a man's attention.

The problem was that she expected any partner of hers to be equally perfect in return. Within weeks she would pick up on the tiniest flaws in her new boyfriend, such as a peculiar inflection in his voice or some other insignificant mannerism. Rose would constantly dissect and analyse everything her boyfriend said, keeping a mental note for future reference. Within months she would chronicle such a long list of faults that it was inconceivable for her to continue seeing him. Inevitably, before even a year had passed, she would tell her boyfriend it was over between them and would look to find someone new.

I watched over the years as she moved from one partner to the next, never satisfied, never finding the perfection she sought. To this day, Rose is still without a permanent partner, and with her looks having long since faded, her dreams of a perfect marriage and a home full of children have largely fallen by the wayside.

It comes back to that notion of acceptance. If you never develop the tolerance and patience to accept faults in other people, then you are doomed to flit from person to person, like a butterfly dances from flower to flower. A lingering sense of dissatisfaction with life begins to develop as you continually grasp for this desirable state, of being 'in love'. Sometimes the biggest casualties end up being the children from such unions who have to stand by and watch as their parents jump from one failed relationship into the next.

Clearly managing your desires can be difficult, especially living in a consumerist society where new and shiny things are thrust in front of you twenty four hours a day, on television, in shop front windows, in brochures and on social media. Unless you choose to live like a hermit on a mountain top or in some deep, dark forest, eventually you will be subjected to a barrage of visual stimuli from popular culture. These enticements only make you want more than you already have.

So what's the solution then? We can't all hide in a cave and meditate all day long. The famous Indian monk, **Bodhidharma, was rumoured to have done just that. When he finally emerged from his cave, after nine years of seclusion, he'd gone completely mad. Even disappearing to a monastery, a retreat or an ashram is only a short term solution, though, on occasion, we all need** respite from this constant bombardment upon the senses.

My own experience indicates that immersing oneself in nature on a daily basis can be very helpful. This may be as simple as spending twenty minutes in the garden each day, or taking a quiet walk through the local park. Even sitting and observing nature through the window can have a calming effect.

Several years ago, we bought an energetic miniature pinscher called Dagger, who just begged to be walked every day. There was a large nature park nearby where dogs were allowed off leash, so I formed the habit of taking him there every day. A half hour quickly passed as I focused inwards, analysing and dissecting my problems. But thinking about my problems only magnified them in my mind as my ego gave a running commentary about what I should or shouldn't do. This left me with a gnawing feeling of anxiety that remained with me for the rest of the day.

So I changed tack, and decided only to focus on the nature around me. I'd take note of the tiny wildflowers bordering the path, and observe the vivid green moss growing on the trunks of trees. I'd listen to the different bird sounds; some quiet, like the owl hiding in a pine grove and some loud like the magpies caterwauling at the top of a eucalyptus tree. Pretty soon by the end of each walk I felt a calm contentment. My anxiety had gone and my mind was clear.

As my awareness expanded, I noticed my perception was changing. I felt a deep yearning not only to look at things but to bend down and touch them as I passed. I noticed the varied textures of the moss on the trees and I felt like it was somehow an extension of me. Even the bird sounds seemed to come from within somehow. They were not just some external source, but a part of my being too. It was almost as if I was those birds and I was those trees.

Later, when I'd experienced glimpses of my true nature, I truly understood what it was like to be part of this magical consciousness which links us all. I was no longer just this detached onlooker that was preoccupied by body and mind, but I was part of the nature around me, a life force that was somehow merged with all other life.

Becoming aware of your environment and forming a strong connection with nature is one way to recognise your part in the universal consciousness, that single, intelligent consciousness which pervades the whole universe and to which we all belong. There are many other ways: meditation, dance, creating an artistic masterpiece, gardening, even cooking an exquisite banquet.

Whilst tapping into this eternal awareness, you're being your true spiritual self as opposed to merely existing on a physical plane where you're driven by your ego with its incessant desire for more things. You need to make a conscious effort to cultivate awareness, otherwise you can get lost in a sea of thoughts about what you think you must do or what you think you must own to prop up your fragile ego.

In time, you can learn to bring your full awareness to everything you do. Eckhart Tolle referred to this state of "living in the moment" as feeling the presence of now. To achieve full awareness, you need to loosen the grip that your mind and ultimately your ego has over you. You need to stop analysing and judging things and simply be one with the experience. For when you're truly awake you become like a passionate observer rather than a disinterested bystander. Detached from the world of your thoughts, you are able to enjoy the fullness of each moment and see the inherent beauty in what's around you.

You can practise overcoming your attachment to things by the small steps you take when doing ordinary everyday tasks. The next time you go shopping, stop and ask yourself, do I really need this? What am I buying this for? Do I need a thousand Nike T-shirts or dozens of fancy shoes to feel better about myself? Do I need to drive a Porsche to consider myself a success? After all, the people who really love you and care about you rarely judge you by the things your own. It's not the Porsche they'll be mentioning in your eulogy, but what you've contributed to the world.

The next time you break or damage something, ask yourself, can I live without this? What does it matter if you've torn your favourite pants or broken your favourite vase? You can't take things with you when you die, and even if you pass them on to the next generation, chances are your children will not appreciate them anywhere near as much as you do.

When you lose something, is it really worth spending hours fretting and cursing whilst you try to find it again? My husband has a favourite saying, 'if you really need it then it will eventually turn up.' He's usually right. I think it's a great irony that it's often when I'm looking for something I've only just misplaced, that I usually find some other special thing that's been missing for several years. When I think about it, the thing that I once thought was so special probably wasn't that important to begin with, because I've managed without it for years.

If you become obsessed about the item because it's either damaged or lost, or you feel you can't rest till you own it, just stop yourself for a moment. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus on the dark space in front of your closed eyes whilst repeating the following mantra inside your mind, "Letting go, letting go, letting go..." You can even do this exercise with your eyes open. Relax your mind, emptying it of the obsessive thoughts for a few moments and then move on. Do something else or bring your awareness to enjoying your life as it is now.

If you are acutely distressed over something you have lost then this mini-meditation below might help:

A Meditation for Letting Go of Something:

Start by sitting comfortably with your feet on the ground, a straight back, and your hands in your lap. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and exhale. Soften and let your self be settled in the present moment.

Now bring into your awareness the story, the situation, the objects, the feelings, the reactions that it is time to let go of. Continue to breathe in softly.

Name your feelings gently (sadness, anxiety, obsession etc.) and allow them the space to be, to float without resistance...

Tell yourself it is wise to release this past experience and feel the benefit, the ease that will come from this letting go.

Say to yourself: "Letting go", "Letting go", gently over and over...

Now direct the mind to envision the future where this situation has been released. Sense the freedom and the ease that this letting go can bring.

Say to yourself: "Letting go", several more times. Sit quietly and notice if the feelings return. Each time they return, breathe softly as if you are bowing to them, and say kindly: "I've let you go."

Soften the body and heart and let any feelings that rise up, drain out of you into the earth. Sense how the feelings can be released like water draining out of a tub.

Feel the space inside you expand as you let go, feel how the heart softens and the body opens up.

Now, think back to a peaceful and happy time, which will give you a better attitude toward the challenge that's making you anxious. Picture this happy time clearly in your mind, where you were, who you were with and what was happening at the time. Use this memory to thwart fear and invoke calmness and clarity, making you feel larger than the situation.

Open your eyes, calm and relaxed.

At the end of the day, gaining freedom from your attachment to things can be very liberating. It leaves you with more time to focus on what really matters in life, like your friends, your family, and your true purpose in life. Non-attachment means not to be enslaved to anything, to live like a lotus leaf in the waters of life without being touched by it or polluted by it.

Sometimes the simple act of de-cluttering your home or your office can bring a great deal of freedom. You can give away the things you do not need and do not use. With fewer objects around you, it's easier to think clearly about what is really important so, in a sense, a clear space can lead to a clear mind.

Even in a home with minimal clutter, most people still own one or two objects to which they have a close attachment. Just be careful that the attachment doesn't become so obsessive, that you lose sight of what the thing is really for, which brings me to the story of the old lady and her tea cups...

There was once this woman who collected tea cups from all over the world. Made of the finest bone china, the matching cup and saucer sets were often painted with exquisite patterns or beautiful floral emblems. Some were made of wafer thin white porcelain whereas others were edged with a fine layer of silver or gold. Every time she acquired a new tea set she would put it in her crystal display cabinet and look at her collection longingly.

One day her granddaughter came to visit and said to her, "Grandma, why is it that you never use this beautiful china that you have collected. Every time I visit, you're drinking out of the same stained and chipped tea cup that doesn't even have a saucer. "

"That's because I reserve my collection of teacups for special occasions only."

"But when the priest came to visit the other day you brought out the ordinary every day tea cups, the ones with the chips and the cracks."

"That wasn't a special occasion."

"What about when you celebrated your 90th birthday last year? You didn't use them then either."

"I have a birthday every year. There's nothing special about that."

A few months later the old lady died and the granddaughter came with her mother to the old lady's home to help pack up her things. The water in the kettle had just been boiled and her mother picked out the finest teacups from the crystal cabinet. Placing them on the table, she prepared the tea. Once it had steeped, she poured into each of the cups the strongly brewed tea.

The granddaughter looked on in horror. "But Mum you can't use those tea cups. Grandma said they were only to be used for the most special occasions."

Her mother looked up at her daughter and gave her a knowing look. "Every moment of every day is a special occasion. Honour it and treasure it. If you keep looking towards the future to enjoy the good things in your life, you may end up like Grandma, who was still waiting to use these cups when she died."

When you are heavily influenced by your attachments and desires, you distract yourself from the real purpose of life by seeking and accumulating things. You live and act as if your life depends upon fulfilling this desire for more things, and strive to use your possessions and attachment to relationships as a defence against pain and suffering. What you inadvertently end up doing is trapping yourself in a unending cycle of pain and suffering as your attachments take control of your life, your body, your mind and your senses. They end up defining your life, your personality and even your destiny as they limit your freedom and your awareness.

The short lived joy of receiving some new thing leads to an endless craving for more things, and as your desire for more things grows so does your suffering trying to attain it or maintain it once you own it.

Buddhism acknowledges attachment as the root cause of our suffering. In order to avoid unhappiness, we attempt to cling to objects of sensual pleasure, but ultimately fail repeatedly to avoid unpleasant situations. This is because the very uncertainty of life means we cannot remain happy all the time. Since life does not happen as we expect it to we suffer perpetually from the fear of the unknown, the unpleasant and the uncertain. Weighed down by the burdens of the past and the anxieties of the future, we fail to experience the beauty and serenity of the present moment.

The first step towards ridding ourselves of this suffering is to identify our dominant attachments, which are not always just material possessions. Below is a list of some common attachments:

Physical Attachments: Your body, including its colour, shape, fitness, health and sexual desire. All material things, including money, your car, house, land, clothes, food, people, pets, possessions, luxury goods, and technology items such as phone, and computer.

Mental Attachments: your identity, family name, family status, your race, your nationality, gender, language, relationships, social status, power, prestige, fame, habits, hobbies, daily routine, the need for perfection, rules, religion, morality, opinions, beliefs and prejudices.

Spiritual Attachments: your religious beliefs, your religious leader or guru, your Gods, saints, religious traditions, methods of worship, your virtue, your ideals, your belief in spiritual symbols and the afterlife.

It is important to note that there are no good or bad attachments. All attachments ultimately stand in the way of our freedom and can cause suffering. They motivate our behaviour, influence our decisions and govern our actions. Some of them are collective attachments influencing entire nations and causing a great deal of human suffering through war, racial abuse and economic inequality.

Our attachments are responsible for our craving and the compulsive need to accumulate things in order to feel fulfilled. We suffer from the fear of loss or the hope of gain and when we hold on to things we believe are needed for our happiness, they become our main driving force and cause conflicting emotions as they fill our lives with false expectations, fear and anxiety.

Our attachments prevent us from being what we can be as they hold us back from flowing with life. Instead we become limited and self-centred as we put on masks and pretend to be something we are not. We become manipulative, and seek out relationships which serve our interests. We seek stability by accumulating things and pursuing things which are inherently harmful and destructive. In the end these attachments colour our perceptions and understanding to such an extent that we lose touch with reality.

By trying to go with the flow in life and practising detachment from our desires and our attachments, we can loosen their grip on us. When you realise that things are not important for happiness, you are much more likely to enjoy just living in the moment.

You need to renounce your attachment to things and embrace change without feeling threatened by it. Don't place your security upon things and relationships which by their very nature are impermanent and unpredictable.

To find out which attachments are driving you, focus your awareness on what you place most value on, what you avoid and are afraid of, and what you criticize and what you defend. Your attachments are responsible for your opinions, your vulnerabilities, as well as your hopes and aspirations. By practising mindfulness and detached observation, become the witness of yourself. See what pushes your buttons, what holds you back and try to desist from carrying out the same learned responses to situations which challenge you.

With practice you can learn to respond differently or perhaps more stoically when faced with situations which normally evoke a strong response in you. If you can break your learned responses, you can break free from your past and the illusions of your own mind which prevent you from experiencing life as it comes.

There is nothing wrong with having things, enjoying relationships or certain hobbies. What is limiting is your attachment to them and how it prevents you from experiencing life unconditionally.

Expand your awareness, and really look at yourself and practice letting go. Start slowly by working on a few attachments, it may be a daily habit, a type of food or a difficult relationship that you have trouble accepting. Learn to let go of your attachment to money by making a donation or doing some volunteer work. Overcome your attachment to your body by going without makeup for a day or changing the daily gym workout to some other exercise. Try eating a food you do not like, put your phone away for a few hours. Instead of planting yourself in front of the TV after dinner, go for a walk or start a conversation.

Become more aware of your actions, and how they may arise from a need for attention, so instead of taking over a conversation, just listen. Instead of talking incessantly like a parrot, practise silence. Instead of trying to override someone's opinion with an argument, listen and consider their viewpoint. Let go of your need to dominate and influence others.

Overcoming such attachments does not mean you have to give up the simple pleasures which make you happy. You can still eat chocolate or indulge in a glass of wine. It does not mean you have to turn away from all the positive things in your life or the things which give you vitality and a zest for life. Go and climb a mountain if mountain-climbing is your passion. All it means is that you free yourself from your limitations by being unconditional in what you seek out, what you do and what you experience. In essence, you are overcoming that early conditioning which sets up this false identity which can end up being a burden.

Stop giving in to the demands of the ego and observe the little voice in your head with detachment. A detached life is a liberated life. If you allow the boundaries of your identity and yourself dissolve, you can free yourself from the demands of your ego and experience life without fear or the compulsion of choice. If you can remain detached, you are living life in the present and can begin to live with the flow of universal consciousness. No longer burdened by memories of the past or by planning things meticulously into the future, you simply accept life as it comes.

By living a more spiritually awakened life, you can be alert, attentive, calm and spontaneous. It gives you clarity of purpose and the freedom to be what you truly are, without complaint, without judgement and without striving. Devoid of all baggage, you can simply enjoy the journey with trust in the reality of the present moment.
Chapter Eight – Overcoming your Fears

In order to experience life as an awakened individual, you can be limited by your attachments, many of which are a product of your conditioning. You behave a certain way because you have learned to do so over time and the response then becomes automatic when faced with a similar situation. Of these learned responses, perhaps the most difficult ones to manage are your emotional reactions.

Your emotions are often kept in check, but sometimes you can have these spontaneous reactions which make your life fraught with misery. Just like your desire for more things can be driven by your false identity, your emotions rise up to the surface when your ego reminds you that you are under threat. Perhaps you are provoked when someone makes a comment about your looks or an event happens that makes you feel scared or unhappy.

Emotions often arise suddenly. Emerging from the depths of your being, they by-pass your intellect. For this reason they can be hard to deal with or control effectively. Without too much thought, you can erupt in anger or well-up in tears because of what someone said or did. However, when you realise, that the real 'you' is consciousness and not the identity you once upheld, much of this emotional upheaval begins to disappear. As the watcher or witness, you can now see things from a broader perspective. There is no self to attack, so you become less reactive. What was once intended as a barb or a sting, no longer has the ability to wound.

But there are still many challenges. Some feelings are ingrained and run deep. Perhaps the most difficult emotion to deal with is fear: fear of change, fear of losing control, fear of failure, or a fear of being hurt.

Although you may not be consciously aware of it, many of your actions are driven by fear. For example, often when you act angrily towards someone, it is because of your fear of losing control over a situation. They might want to do something differently and so this fear you have of your life being changed outside your comfort zone, results in an explosion of anger.

Fearful thoughts, such as losing a job, or losing something you hold precious are common and often dictate the way you behave in everyday situations. For example, rather than sleeping in that extra half hour in the morning, you get up and get yourself ready for work, knowing that at some level you will be in trouble if you turn up late. There is nothing wrong with recognising such fears because without them you would not be spurred on to fulfil your responsibilities.

In fact, at the most basic level you need to feel fear in order to face impending danger. Your body is actually designed with a 'flight or fight' response when you are threatened and feel fearful. This response from your sympathetic nervous system allows hormones such as adrenaline to be released so that it courses through your body. This allows your muscles to become pumped with blood, and your heart to beat faster. You need such a response to be able to react quickly and find your way to safety in times of danger.

However, sometimes the mere thought of something threatening can cause you to react in a fearful way, even though there is no imminent danger and the future consequences are only in your head. It is during such times that your fears can begin to control you, and inhibit you from leading a happy, fulfilled life.

For example, you may be afraid to change your direction in life when offered a new and promising opportunity at work. You fear you are incapable of meeting the new challenges in such a position and picture in your mind that you will inevitably fail and end up losing your job, so you turn down the new job opportunity. You end up by staying in the same unvaried environment at work even though there is no potential for growth and you are bored with what you do.

If you're always shying away from challenges though, you never develop to your full potential in life and can end up feeling miserable and depressed. Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not advocating jumping into a situation impulsively without first considering the likely consequences. However, sometimes you can convince yourself not to do something through fear, something which could bring you much pleasure and enjoyment if you simply took a chance.

I can think of one such event which occurred during a family holiday in Fiji. Having tired of sunning himself by the pool and snorkelling in the ocean, my husband visited the tourist office where he picked up a glossy brochure. 'Zip-lining is such fun! See some of Fiji's glorious rainforests,' said the caption. Without stopping to think about how scary it'd be to be strung up on a wire ten metres above the ground hurtling towards a tree, my husband decided to relive his Tarzan fantasies. He booked in our entire family for the 'Zip-lining Experience'.

My usual response would be to tell him to take the boys and leave me back at the resort. I could think of better ways of spending my holiday, like snorkelling in the ocean or having a massage on the beach. However, recognising that this was my typical response to all of my husband's thrill- seeking exploits, I consciously decided that this time I'd not give into my fears. I'd put on the helmet and the harness and just get on with it.

I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't scary being hooked up by a harness to a high wire then leaping off a platform into empty space. However, it proved to be a truly exhilarating experience which I'd have been sorry to miss. Even when I got stuck half- way between platforms, and was left staring down at the rocky river-bed below, I knew I was in no real danger. One of the Fijians simply sashayed along the wire and grabbed me with his legs, dragging me safely to the next platform.

I was soon flying through the forest canopy, mesmerised by the beautiful green foliage, the climbing vines, and the intricate flowery blooms. The scene was like something straight out of an Attenborough documentary. This was nature at its grandest and I was very much a part of it.

Of course, not all our fears are unwarranted and sometimes you can find yourself in the midst of some truly hair-raising experiences. Like the time my African tour guide, a long- haired, deeply- tanned New Zealander (who really did look like Tarzan), decided to take a detour when I was on safari in Kenya. Our safari truck, carrying myself and ten other tourists, went off the beaten track and promptly got bogged in the middle of the Serengeti National Park. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if there hadn't been two lions tracking our scent at the time.

When the rescue truck finally arrived, it was parked quite some distance away. Unlike our truck, it was parked safely up the hill on the gravel road we were meant to be travelling on before our ill-considered detour. So all twelve of us, we're forced to run through the open grassy plains to get to it. Now I'm not the fastest runner but the thought of being chased like a gazelle by a huge, hungry lion was enough to make that adrenaline propel me into action. Suffice to say, I lived to tell the tale, but that was not the case with the hapless school boy in another group, who got mauled by a lion at a nearby campsite. Sadly, he did not survive.

Much of your fear is not based on survival though. It's a legacy of your aberrant thoughts which churn around in your head, feeding you the worst case scenario over and over again. If all of your fears truly did come to pass then your life would be in a terrible state. If everyone lost their job because they were five minutes late then most people would be unemployed. If students all failed their exams because of that one tricky question then no one would complete their education. So how do you stop yourself from getting on to that negative train of thought?

It takes practise, but you have to focus on the here and now, not the 'what ifs' and the 'what then'. If you retain your full focus and awareness on what you are doing at that moment, then you can stop yourself from sinking into the quicksand of your murky thoughts. Better still, try to put a positive spin on what's happening and stop judging everything in a negative light. A lot of that negativity is just due to your subconscious conditioning where you become used to noticing and judging every little imperfection around you. If you do this you can quickly fall into this cyclic pattern of negativity where nothing seems quite right and everything seems like a disaster.

If you completely give into your thoughts and subconscious conditioning then things can go horribly wrong. You can become so trapped in a cycle of negativity that fear and depression quickly set in, leaving you in a permanent state of stress.

At one stage, my husband, Peter, worked as a scientist in a large hospital pathology department which underwent an unexpected change in management. When the new company took over, the old computer software systems and machinery were removed and Peter found himself forced to learn a whole new system of rules on an entirely different set of complex equipment. He was given a probationary period of only one month to learn the new system and his immediate response was to panic.

All he could think of was that if he didn't learn the new information in time, then his superiors would think he was inept and they would fire him. Every time Peter arrived at work he began to stress. His heart would start beating rapidly, he'd break out into a sweat and then he'd become paralysed by fear. Although many of his colleagues were going through a similar experience, some were handling it better than others. Thankfully they'd step in to cover for Peter, when he was going through the worst of his panic attacks. This would give him some necessary breathing space to adjust to the changes in the system.

However, when the days turned into weeks, and he was still having an acute panic attack every time he set foot in the hospital building, he decided he needed to take action. At first he took sedatives to calm his nerves. Although they got him through his worst moments of fear, he still needed to address the real issue. He was letting his subconscious thoughts of failure take over and control him.

Fear of failure often stems from your childhood, particularly if you had overcritical parents who found fault in everything you did. Rather than praising you when you did something well, they focused on the little things you may not have been doing so well. Peter had been told from an early age that if he wasn't successful in his studies, he would end up living on the streets. He was conditioned to believe that if he made mistakes, even small ones, then there would be dire consequences.

By pushing such thoughts aside and focusing only on the steps at hand, he was able to overcome his paralysing fear. Little by little, step by step, he managed to lift himself out of his conditioned way of thinking and behaving. The solution was to maintain total awareness of what was happening in the here and now and to take one small step at a time. It was important for him to not look too far into the future. It was a difficult time in his life, but Peter got through it, and learned not to be so hard on himself.

Practising mindfulness-based meditation is another great way to overcome fear. During this kind of meditation, your brain shifts from using the stress centres of the body into the relaxation response. When you are stressed, the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland and the sympathetic nervous system are all activated. These act to raise your blood pressure and heart rate as well as increase your muscular tension and your breathing rate, so you end up taking rapid shallow breaths. During the relaxation response, you move to using the parasympathetic nervous system; your heart rate and muscular tension decreases, your breathing changes to deeper diaphragmatic breathing, and your immune system is enhanced.

Regular meditation changes brain function by decreasing the DMN (default mode network) which is responsible for your mind wandering and for you constantly worrying and thinking about the past and future (Garrison et al, 2015, Yale University). Furthermore, meditation increases the cortical thickness in the hippocampus of the brain, an area which governs learning and memory, and decreases brain volume in the amygdala, a part of the brain responsible for fear, anxiety and stress (Lazar et al, 2011, Harvard University).

If you find you are overwhelmed by your feelings and emotions than perhaps you can try pausing what you are doing and try practising this centring meditation exercise below.

Centring Meditation:

Pause. Stop what you are doing.

Take five slow, full, conscious breaths and then allow the breath to flow naturally and mindfully. The breath brings life and movement to the feeling line in the centre of the body.

Then connect with the sensations in the feet (grounding) and hands.

Now connect with the feeling line of the throat, chest, solar plexus and stomach. Observe what feelings are there with gentle care, like an inner embrace.

When appropriate, sit with an open awareness of the feeling line and the stillness which surrounds it.

Embrace the feelings you're experiencing and then let them go, and continue with what you were doing.

This mini-meditation can be used to create self-compassion for vulnerable feelings, and can be practised in a difficult situation. It can also be used to bring a gentle curiosity to more neutral feelings or for savouring a pleasant situation.

Even short periods of mediation can change the structure and function of your brain and put a halt to your mind drifting into fearful thinking. Improvements in your attention span and ability to concentrate occur after just a few weeks and if done for eight weeks, the benefits of meditation are still evident even years later (Amishi et al, 2007, University of Pennsylvania).

It's so easy to lose concentration and let your subconscious take over. Without even realising it, you can find yourself acting like an automaton, floating upon a wave from one place to the next, only to find that you're at the mercy of your emotions when something doesn't turn out right. If you maintain complete awareness of the situation you're in, you can intuitively pre-empt things before they go wrong. You can fine tune things as you go and stop yourself from becoming a victim of your own conditioning.

How many times have you got into the car to drive somewhere and found yourself reaching your destination without remembering much of the journey? This is a classic example of you letting your subconscious take over. Although your body carries out the functions required to for it to physically drive the car, your mind is somewhere else. Not only is this potentially dangerous but you can miss out on so much that is going on around you. By maintaining full awareness of your environment, you can react better to what is happening and you can also use your intuition more effectively. If you intuitively respond to your environment, through your senses, you can often pick up clues that help you with your daily life.

Using your intuition is a case of correctly reading the signs the universe throws up at you, and this takes skill and practice. Quite often these signs or cues are very subtle and if you are lacking in awareness they're easily missed. The signs may be visual, such as a picture, a written message or the way someone looks at you, or they may be aural, such as a song on the radio or some spoken words, or they may even relate to other senses, like smelling a familiar perfume or simply sensing something different about the atmosphere of a room you're in.

You may have a problem in the back of your mind that remains unsolved and is niggling away at you, and then suddenly through a series of intuitive responses the answer appears right in front of you. Perhaps a clue is written on a signpost, or the side of a bus, or on a poster in a public place. In order for you to pick up that clue though you must be fully aware of your surroundings.

I was once debating on whether to book a trip to Bali or to save money and stay home. I knew I'd have to act soon if I wanted to secure the plane tickets but I had a lot of fears about safety issues and whether the timing was right. The world was still recovering from a global financial crisis, and terrorist attacks were on the increase.

Despite this, everywhere I went, I saw signs giving me positive affirmations as to what I should do. On the blackboard above the local plant nursery were the words, "'Go and Grow". The travel shop sign was more predictable: 'Bon Voyage'. On a public toilet door was a poster of Asian- Pacific flights. It stated: 'Expand your horizons, book that trip now!'

Finally, I walked into a book shop looking for a maths book. I accidently knocked against a cardboard shelf holding discount books. A book about Bali literally fell out onto the floor in front of me. Needless to say, I didn't hesitate after that. I went and booked the trip.

Fear can be so crippling, because it stops you from growing spiritually, you contract in upon yourself, sticking to only the known, rather than looking outwards and expanding your soul. It can prevent you from taking a chance and learning new things. As one wise soul once said, "The day you stop learning is the day you die." You face new challenges every single day but if you let fear rule your life, it will dictate where you go, what you do, and who you see. This is a sort of spiritual death in a sense.

We've all met narrow-minded people who have set opinions, who are black and white about the way they view the world and are resistant to change. From such people stem the seeds of bigotry and racism, cruelty and ignorance. Fortunately most people are not like that. People may not like change, and may be wary around those who are different to them, but most will adapt if necessary.

It's the people who oppose racism and ignorance that I most admire. The people who stand up for their beliefs even though they face strong opposition and may end up placing themselves in danger for the sake of a cause – people like Nelson Mandela in South Africa and Martin Luther King in the United States. They seemingly had no fear, or if they did have fears they kept them well in check, risking their lives to overcome horrendous political regimes and subversive, vigilante groups.

I'm certainly no radical and I'm not sure how calm I'd be when faced with political unrest in my own community, but sometimes flying in the face of your fears can lead to truly exhilarating experiences, events you might have missed out on if you did not act.

In 1988, when Gorbachov was introducing many of his political reforms, I was on my way across the globe to my parent's homeland in Lithuania. At the time, this country was still under communist soviet occupation and there were still many restrictions on where you could go and how long you could stay. I was told by friends, who lived there, that all our travel plans outside of the capital city of Vilnius would have to be submitted to the local authorities and approved. Even the simplest trip across the countryside could be made difficult. A senseless battle with bureaucracy had to be fought just to get a permit, as foreign tourists were treated with much suspicion.

After queuing for hours in some cold, dark government building, I finally managed to get a permit to visit the large city of Kaunas, but nowhere beyond that. This was very disappointing as I was keen to see as much of the country as possible. I had a particular yearning to visit the picturesque fishing village of Nida. Situated on the Curonian spit, Nida was built on a long, narrow stretch of sand bordered by the Baltic Sea on one side and the Curonian Lagoon on the other. It had been famously visited over the years by writers as diverse as Thomas Mann and Jean Paul Satre, and a whole range of artists, most notably the German Expressionists.

This part of Lithuania was strictly off limits to foreign tourists and to go in there by road, without permission, would be deliberately flouting the law. However, my cousin, Vytas, came up with the creative plan to hire a yacht and sail there instead. We would arrive at dusk, disembark under the cover of darkness, and thus evade a security check.

All went pretty much to plan. After a blissful day spent sailing, we reached Juodkrantis, a nearby town on the spit, only an hour before midnight. In Lithuania it was peak summer and the nights were very short (only a few hours of darkness). This meant we were able to comfortably walk through the town's famous National Park, called Witches' Mountain, with reasonable vision. As the night sky dimmed we saw gargoyles carved into tree trunks and witches sculpted out of fallen logs. All manner of pagan creatures were represented here in the carvings, and I enjoyed the experience immensely.

However, as we climbed up a steep hill and left the park behind, we found ourselves on a narrow stretch of coast just outside a Russian Military Base. The compound was fenced off with barbed wire and had a huge sign on the gate proclaiming that the area was strictly off limits. It was one o'clock in the morning, the weather was balmy and the sea looked so inviting.

Without a moment's hesitation, my cousin and his friends, jumped into the ocean and were soon frolicking in the waves. As thoughts of languishing in a soviet prison crossed my mind, I watched as they entered the water, and a spotlight from the military base lit up the sand and the water. After scanning the coast for a few minutes, we could hear the sound of an engine fire up at the base, and we knew we were in deep trouble. The Russian soldiers knew we were there and were coming to find us.

Grabbing our gear we scrambled back into the thickly forested National Park, crouching down low in the underbrush as an army jeep drove up and down the path we'd just left. I was shaking all over, trying hard not to move lest they should hear the rustling sound of bushes and come to investigate. Luckily for us, after a half hour search, the army abandoned this task, and the jeep returned to the base.

Relieved at having escaped this close brush with the law, we gathered together deep in the forest and set up a picnic. Singing folk songs and drinking vodka we spent a glorious time there, made all the more exhilarating by us having narrowly evaded our captors. Other than my Australian friend, Ellen, I was the only foreigner in the group. With a camera around my neck and no permit, I could easily have been arrested for spying, which in that era had dire consequences.

Although this simple excursion had become fraught with danger, we managed to complete our visit to Nida and there were no regrets on my part. Had I followed government orders and stayed back in Vilnius, I would have missed out on seeing this beautiful part of the country. Sure, I was pretty scared at one point, but the fear was not so paralysing that I couldn't react to my circumstances and get myself to safety.

One thing is certain, living a life governed by fear is a huge wasted opportunity. Sure you might get singed from time to time when you leap into the fire without correctly weighing up the risks, but for those who've truly lived, a few battle scars are worth it.

It's natural to feel fear when entering into in a new or challenging situation. However, when the fear becomes so crippling that you can think of nothing else then you're no longer living in the moment. Instead you are worrying about what the future will bring and what the consequences could be. But don't forget, the future is not real, it doesn't exist. You can only speculate on what will happen but that doesn't mean it actually will happen. Only the present moment is real. So take a few deep breaths, focus on the sights and sounds around you, focus on relaxing your body, and do whatever it is that you have to do.

Someone once said, too many of us end up living our fears instead of living our dreams. If your actions are governed by your fear, you may not be living your life to the fullest. Don't let your fears choose your destiny but let your passions and your zest for life inspire you. If you have a clear vision of where you want to go and what you want to do, then your fears become irrelevant. Sure you may make some mistakes or face some obstacles, but that is part of the journey. One thing is certain. If you let yourself become paralysed by your emotions then you won't go anywhere or do anything. Just observe them and move on.

Underneath your fears lie great opportunities. Because when you start doing the things that scare you the most, tearing down the invisible barriers that separate you from the good life, that fear no longer has any power and you're free to become the person you've always dreamed about.

Just remember, everything you are running away from is in your head. So often you magnify the thing you're afraid of in your mind till it seems insurmountable and you literally become paralysed by the fear. If you take the first step and face that fear, then even if you do face something challenging, at least you have some hope of changing it. Nothing can be changed until it is faced, for the fears you don't face become your limitations. And who really knows what might happen. If you face your fears then new opportunities might just open up for you. You gain strength, courage and confidence with every fear that is faced, which only makes it easier to take on future challenges.

We all know of people who've given up on life, who are virtually housebound because they're too afraid to face what is out there. Perhaps you've been through some harrowing experience which makes you question what life has next in store for you and you no longer seek new experiences? It may seem safer to hide away, to stick with what you know. You're not alone. Many people choose boredom and safety over excitement and challenge; it can seem like the easier path in life. In reality you become stagnant, like a stagnant swamp of algae infested water. Nothing seems new and fresh and your soul no longer grows and evolves. You never reach your full potential, and instead of embracing the life force within, you find only the seeds of depression and dissatisfaction.

Bring awareness to the emotion of fear but don't let it become part of an endless cycle of thoughts where it can be potentially dangerous. Whatever your situation, good or bad, live with it in the present moment and let it bring purpose to your life. If you live as a fully conscious being with presence then you can embrace both the good and the bad in your life without it becoming destructive.

It's when you live through the ego that problems arise as the ego brings unrealistic fears to the surface of your mind in an unrelenting and repetitive fashion. This can lead to a kind of paralysis, as you become too scared to move out of your comfort zone, even though there may be no risk to your person at all. Quite often such negative thoughts have no substance as they're based on a future that doesn't exist using past negative events which may never happen again.

The fears are manufactured by your mind in an attempt to protect you like an overprotective mother who hovers over a child who's not at risk. Like the child, you don't grow because you've no opportunity to learn from new experiences, and instead you become overwhelmed by fear because you believe what you're hearing, or in this case what your mind is telling you.

Below there is a twenty minute meditation for becoming more mindful of your emotions. It is great for relaxing your body when you become overwhelmed by fear. Try not to analyse your feelings, just observe them. You may want to ask a friend to read it out for you, or perhaps you can record it using a phone or tablet:

A mindfulness meditation for your feelings:

Gently close your eyes and settle into your body. Take a moment now to adjust your posture...Sit with an upright and open posture. Now in your own way, take a few moments to relax your body...

Take three slow, deep conscious breaths and as you breathe out, feel your muscles softening and loosening whilst relaxing, awake and alert. Allow your breath to find its own depth and rhythm now...to just breathe itself.

Gently become aware of the space before your closed eyes... it's like a field of darkness...perhaps there are some muted shapes or colours...just simply rest your attention there for a few moments with relaxed eyes and a soft gaze (pause)

Now slowly bring your attention to any sounds coming to you from outside (pause) ...or inside the room...just simply listen with a gentle curiosity (pause). Let the sounds come and go (pause). Allow the sounds to call your attention into the present moment...just listen...

Now as you bring your awareness to your breath, notice the feeling of the breath...as you breathe in... and breathe out...feel the air moving over your nostrils...Feel the slight movement of your chest and your belly...rising with the in-breath, sinking with the out-breath. Perhaps there is even a gentle sound with your breathing...just your natural breathing...follow each breath (pause).

And now bring your awareness to your centre...the feeling line of your body...With the intention to check in with how you are feeling and with a willingness to notice your body, gently ask yourself, 'How am I feeling?'...

Bring your awareness to your throat...feel into it...With a gentle curiosity, explore the sensations in your throat...subtle or strong...any sensations...just rest your attention in the throat and allow any feeling sensations to come into focus...and, as you feel into your throat, feel the flow of your breathing (pause).

Now bring your attention to the centre of your chest, feeling for any sensations...a slight pressure, an ache, a tightness...a hardness or resistance to the breath...or perhaps it feels soft or comfortable...Explore the body sensations free of any judgement...And, as you feel into your chest, feel the flow of your breathing (pause).

And now bring your awareness to your upper belly, your solar plexus, and again ask yourself, 'How am I feeling?'...Notice any sensations in the upper belly...a softness, a tightness...a shakiness, a numbness...whatever sensations you find there...As you feel into your upper belly, feel the flow of your breathing (pause).

Now bring your awareness down to your lower-belly...around and behind your navel...notice any sensations there... a tightness, a softness, hardness, a shakiness...There's no need to analyse whether the sensations come from a physical cause or an emotional cause...Explore all the sensations in the lower belly...and feel the flow of your breathing (pause).

Now open your awareness to include the whole feeling line of your being...your throat, chest, solar plexus and lower belly...Keep the feelings company...with curiosity and compassion...and if there is an area that feels more intense or vulnerable, just sitting with whatever feelings are there....And as you notice the feelings in your centre, feel the flow of your breathing (long pause).

Reminder: if you notice your attention wandering or becoming caught up in a stream of thought...simply bring your attention back to your next breath...feel your feet on the floor...feel into your throat...your chest...your belly...and the flow of your breathing...as you are aware of the space in front of your eyes (long pause).

Now as we come towards the end of this meditation, allow your breathing to become a little stronger...perhaps a deeper breath or two...start to reactivate your body by moving your fingers and toes...have a stretch...and when you are ready slowly open your eyes.
Chapter Nine – Karma and Dharma

A question I often ponder is why we seem to repeat the same patterns of behaviour when faced with a crisis or a difficult patch in our lives? Some people slip into a deep depression, others lash out at those closest to them, and some people turn to escapism through drugs, alcohol or subversive behaviour. Many people quite literally turn their back on the world and retreat into themselves where no one can reach them.

I believe many patterns of behaviour are conditioned. Your ego tells you that you must defend your fragile psyche through which ever means are available and you slip into the same coping mechanisms that you've always used. The problem with repeating a set series of behaviours every time something goes wrong is that you never evolve. You end up stuck in a karmic cycle where an event happens, you react in the same way, you receive the same consequences, and the cycle basically repeats itself. Throughout life you are tested over and over again but if you don't learn how to change your behaviour, then you are doomed to face the same outcomes every time.

Hence you get the people who constantly fail at relationships. For example, they meet someone and then embark on a new relationship. Everything is fine for a while. Then they behave in some way which is not conducive for the relationship to continue, and find their partner leaves them for someone else.

There are also those people who seemed to be constantly shifting from one job to the next. They just get settled into a career and are expecting security and a stable income, but find that circumstances always seem to change, they can't adapt, and the next thing they know, they are being made redundant or are forced to move on.

If you look closely at your life, you can all identify patterns that keep repeating themselves and often you follow the same slavish behaviour to try to resolve the situation. The problem is that you're often following your false identity, driven by your ego which bombards you with thoughts about how you should react in a given situation. Rather than following your gut instincts and intuition, you give into what your ego is telling you and end up reacting in ways which may actually be counterproductive to your well-being.

For example, I have a friend, Anna, who cannot bear to be in the same room as her mother-in-law. The moment they get together they argue, usually over something insignificant, and my friend then becomes emotional and runs away. She has been known to stay locked up in her room for many hours after an argument, refusing to talk to anybody.

Her mother-in-law is not a bad person. She's just very vocal about her opinions, and Anna has only one way of coping, and that is by retreating. She completely gives into the negative thought patterns which plague her mind, "My mother-in-law hates me; she doesn't support me. She's completely against me."

At the end of each altercation, Anna becomes a miserable wreck, often taking days to fully recover. Over the years, the tension between them when they meet has become so intolerable, that Anna barely sees her mother-in-law anymore, and her husband has to visit his mother alone. The end result is that Anna's children have only a distant relationship with their grandmother and the family ties are not as strong as what they could be.

Breaking the karmic cycle can be difficult. In this cycle, you become so focused on yourself and your suffering, that this leads to fear and ultimately a living hell where you have no peace of mind and are constantly anxious or stressed. Peace of mind comes from conscious awareness and selflessness. Instead of becoming self-absorbed, constantly thinking about your own woes, you need to dissolve the self and aim for selfless actions, or actions without thought. Through this you get positive karma and ultimately a happy life.

But Karma is not all just about physical actions. The Buddha himself rebutted this notion when he said:

"Intention, monks, is Karma I say. Having willed something, one acts it out through body, speech and mind."

Essentially what he was saying was that thoughts and words are just as important as actions. Negative thoughts leave negative imprints in the storehouse of consciousness. When the conditions are right, then the seeds will ripen and you will act out those negative intentions.

It is difficult to control what arises in your mind because your mind is conditioned by what has happened to you previously. Many of your thoughts arise from habitual patterns of thinking. For example, you see someone who may have put you down in the past, and immediately your mind reminds you of this fact. Without even thinking too deeply you prepare to retaliate for past grievances by making some snide remark to that person, which only causes tension and suffering.

Instead, as soon as you notice the arising of these habitual thoughts and moods and realise they're the karmic fruits of the past, you should try to let these thoughts go. When the grasping of these thoughts is weakened, the volition towards unwholesome actions has less intensity.

People dismissively say "it's my karma" suggesting their destiny is merely bad luck. This suggests lack of personal responsibility for both cause and effect. But the truth is aptly stated in the ancient words, "You reap what you sow." You lay down the foundations for your future by your actions and thoughts in the past, and quite often these actions and thoughts become habitual because their memory becomes ingrained.

When you perform certain actions they create memories, which generate a conditioned way of responding which can lead you to perform similar actions on another occasion. In such a way, many people allow themselves to remain imprisoned by their karma, conditioned by their memories, performing the same habits over and over and wondering why their lives aren't taking them anywhere.

The next time you are faced with a challenge, stop and reflect. Is your response to the challenge the same as always? Are you perhaps reacting with anger and hysteria, or is there a different way that you could respond? Maybe you could calmly continue in another direction, with a different action and see where that leads you.

Releasing karma doesn't mean losing all your memories and conditioned responses, but it means losing your attachment to them so you're no longer under their influence. By trying a different way of responding, you're breaking the cycle of repetition.

Karma does not always have to lead to punishment and suffering though. Karma can offer lessons in personal and spiritual development. It can reflect your actions back to you in the form of lessons so you can either say, "I shouldn't do that. It sucked" or "That was awesome. I should do more of that!" If you find yourself changing a little bit with each action, then you may actually be growing and moving forward.

Karma allows you to be on the receiving end of every intention and action you put out there. It allows you:

to make conscious choices for the benefit of everyone. Ask yourself do these choices serve me and those who may be affected by them? Are my decisions coming from my heart and higher self or my ego?

to acknowledge the lesson and change your behaviour. Accept what has happened and understand it. Try to forgive whoever you feel may have harmed you. If you don't forgive them, then you remain bound to the person you've not forgiven and this negative karma can be carried on in your future actions.

to look for growth opportunities. Ask yourself, "How can I learn and grow from this?"

to cultivate gratitude. Try to be grateful for everything in your life.

You can choose to ignore the lessons you're being offered and continue to act in a way that is counterproductive, but the karma keeps repeating itself until the lesson is learned. By giving you the opportunity to change your behaviour to one that is more favourable, then karma provides balance in the world.

So in summary, you have two options: you can acknowledge the lesson and change your behaviour or you can ignore the lesson and continue to act the same way.

When you identify with unconscious habitual patterns and thoughts, then the karma repeats itself and will continue to do so until a lesson is learned. You can only really become free from the cycle of karma if you remain present, and are not led by your cyclic pattern of negative thoughts. As you increase your awareness, the energy behind karma diminishes and your thoughts fade into the background.

Every action you take has certain consequences because of the relationship between cause and effect. Good actions can lead to good consequences. In this context, good means selfless and aware, and bad means selfish and egotistical. Immediately, as soon as you do the bad action, it damages you on the inside, even if you don't get caught. Any actions which aggrandize or promote you at the expense of others are bad as they are selfish and self-absorbed. You may not care about being self-absorbed, but ultimately you only end up punishing yourself through the suffering it perpetuates. If you get away with something, you'll always be afraid or feel guilty; you can't supress it for ever. One selfish act becomes a habit of selfish behaviour. To stop this cycle, you must apply conscious awareness to see this act as selfish.

Even bad thoughts without actions can have negative consequences. When you criticise people in your head, harbour jealous thoughts, or perhaps when you think about manipulating people, you are identifying with such thoughts in your head. This creates an illusion or negative perception about other people, and you feel suffering trying to protect it. The meaning of a thought holds the memory and desire and thus the karma. If you keep going over it in your mind, you only perpetuate the karma as it increases your negative feelings towards the person.

Meditation is helpful in dispelling these thoughts, especially when practised together with a mantra or repetitive phrase. A mantra has no karma, so when you think your mantra, you are taken beyond the range of karma and slip into the field of infinite possibilities.

Meditation, with or without a mantra, allows you to focus on your strong inner core and the stillness behind your thoughts, which is better than succumbing to negative thoughts.

In the same way that meditation can help with negative thoughts, it can also help us in situations which generate strong emotions, such as anger and fear or in a confrontation with a person you disagree with.

When faced with a stressful situation, it is easy to be at the mercy of your emotions. During the body's stress response, hormones are released which heighten your reaction to events going on around you. This can make you do and say things that you later regret.

Far better in such a situation to take a few deep breaths, focus on your strong inner core, the stillness behind your thoughts, and accept that you cannot change the other person's opinions or attitudes. Accept that you might always differ in your opinions and try to move beyond that to find some common middle ground. Be a mountain, still and calm, not an exploding volcano.

Jon Kabbat-Zinn uses the concept of a mountain as a metaphor for that silent, still presence within you; the consciousness which unites you with all living things. It is useful as a metaphor to think of your intrinsic core as a mountain. After all, thoughts come in and out of your mind, emotions swirl within you and around you, just like weather patterns which bring wind and rain and snow to a mountain. But your intrinsic core, your real self, remains steadfast like a mountain. Seasons change, the trees on the mountain shed their leaves and grow new buds, but the mountain remains there strong and silent. You too can be like the mountain and not be fazed by every little thing that happens around you. Occasionally violent storms rock the mountain, and that is to be expected but, in the end, the mountain still goes on.

Through meditation you can even mine the spiritual diamonds out of the mountain. Experience the pure awareness of being the mountain and find the peace that resides within.

Below is a meditation to help you try to feel more like the mountain. Give it a try, and maybe you too can find that calm, still presence inside you that is the real you.

The Mountain Meditation:

Begin by feeling into the support you have from the chair or the cushion, paying attention to the actual sensations of contact. Find a position of stability and poise with your upper body balanced over your hips and shoulders in a comfortable but alert posture, your hands on your lap or your knees, arms hanging by their own weight, like heavy curtains, stable and relaxed. Actually sense into your body, feeling your feet... legs... hips... lower and upper body... arms... shoulders... neck... head...

And when you're ready, allow your eyes to close, bringing awareness to your breath, the actual physical sensations of each breath, feeling each breath as it comes in and as it goes out... letting the breath be just as it is, without trying to change it in any way... allowing it to flow easily and naturally, with its own rhythm and pace. Know that you're breathing perfectly well right now and there is nothing for you to do...

Allow the body to be still, sitting with a sense of dignity, a sense of resolve, a sense of being complete and whole, in this very moment, with your posture reflecting this sense of wholeness...(long pause).

As you sit here, let an image form in your mind's eye, of the most magnificent or beautiful mountain you know or have seen or can imagine..., let it gradually come into greater focus... and even if it doesn't come as a visual image, allow yourself to sense this mountain, feeling its overall shape, its lofty peaks high in the sky, the large base rooted in the bedrock of the earth's crust, it's steep or gently sloping sides... Notice how massive it is, how solid, how unmoving, how beautiful, whether it be from a far or up close (pause).

Perhaps your mountain has snow blanketing its top and trees reaching down to the base, or rugged granite sides... there may be streams and waterfalls cascading down the slopes... meadows and high lakes... there may be one peak or a series of peaks...

Observe it, note its qualities and when you feel ready, see if you can bring the mountain into your own body. Sit here so that your body and the mountain in your mind's eye become one; so that as you sit here, you share in the massiveness and the stillness and majesty of the mountain. You become the mountain.

Grounded in the sitting posture, your head becomes the lofty peak, supported by the rest of the body and affording a panoramic view. Your shoulders and arms form the sides of the mountain. Your buttocks and legs the solid base, rooted to your cushion or your chair, experiencing in your body a sense of uplift from deep within your pelvis and spine. With each breath, as you continue sitting, become a little more like a breathing mountain, alive and vital, yet unwavering in your inner stillness, completely what you are, beyond words and thought, a centred, grounded, unmoving presence...

As you sit here, become aware of the fact that as the sun travels across the sky, the light and shadows and colours are changing virtually moment by moment in the mountain's stillness, and the surface teems with life and activity... streams, melting snow, waterfalls, plants and wildlife. As the mountain sits, see and feel how night follows day and day follows night. First, you feel the bright warming sun, followed by the cool night sky studded with stars, and then, the gradual dawning of a new day... Through it all, the mountain just sits, experiencing change in each moment, constantly changing, yet always just being itself. In any season, it may find itself at times enshrouded in clouds or fog or pelted by freezing rain. People may come to see the mountain and comment on how beautiful it is or how it's not a good day to see the mountain, that it's too cloudy or rainy or foggy or dark.

None of this matters to the mountain, which remains at all times its essential self. Clouds may come and clouds may go, the tourists may like it or not care for the mountain. The mountain's magnificence and beauty is not changed one bit by the people, the sun or the clouds, whether it's boiling hot or icy cold, whether it's day or night. It just sits, being itself.

At times it's visited by violent storms, buffeted by snow and rain and winds of unthinkable magnitude. Through it all, the mountain sits. Spring comes, the trees leaf out, flowers bloom in the high meadows and slopes, and the birds sing in the trees once again. Streams overflow with the waters of melting snow.

Through it all, the mountain continues to sit, unmoved by the weather, by what happens on its surface, by the world of appearances... remaining its essential self, through the seasons, the changing weather. The activity is ebbing and flowing on its surface... It remains still as the seasons flow into one another and as the weather changes moment by moment and day by day, its calmness abiding all change... In summer, there's no snow on the mountain, except perhaps for the very peaks or in the crags shielded from direct sunlight. In the autumn, the mountain may wear a coat of brilliant fire colours, oranges, reds and yellows as the trees drop their leaves and in winter, the mountain is shrouded in a blanket of snow and ice.

Just feel what it's like to be the mountain, stable and calm, as life moves in and around it. It's true that you experience storms of varying intensity and violence in the outer world and in your own mind and body, buffeted by high winds, by cold and rain. You endure periods of darkness and pain, as well as moments of joy and uplift. Even your appearance changes constantly, experiencing a weather of its own...

In the same way, as you sit in meditation and you learn to experience the mountain, you can embody the same central, unwavering stillness and support in the face of everything that changes in your own life, over seconds, over hours, over years. In your life and in your meditation practice, you experience constantly the changing nature of mind and body and of the outer world. You have your own periods of light and darkness, activity and inactivity, your own moments of colour and moments of drabness.

So, in the time that remains, continuing to sustain the mountain meditation on your own, in silence, moment by moment, until you are ready to open your eyes, alert, calm and relaxed...

By becoming the mountain in your meditation practice, you can link up with its strength and stability and adopt it for yourself. You can use its energies to support your energy, so that you encounter each moment with mindfulness and equanimity and clarity. It may help you to see that your thoughts and feelings, your preoccupations, your emotional storms and crises, even the things that happen to you, are very much like the weather on the mountain. You tend to take it all personally, but its strongest characteristic is impersonal. By encountering it, honouring and holding it in awareness, you come to know a deeper silence and stillness and wisdom.

Mountains have this to teach you and much more. So if you find you resonate in some way with the strength and stability of the mountain in your sitting, it may be helpful to use it from time to time in your meditation practice, to remind you of what it means to sit mindfully with resolve and with wakefulness, in true stillness...

Negative thoughts and pain arise as part of karma, but these diminish in the light of awareness where the patterns no longer run your life. It helps if you can find your true purpose in life, sometimes referred to as your Dharma. By living in total alignment with that, many of your actions will spontaneously correct.

Finding your true calling or your dharma takes time and energy and is very much a creative process. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone and become a vessel for that life force to move through you. You need to leave the ego behind and jump off that precipice into the unknown. You may need to take a leap of faith, let go, surrender and let that life force carry you. Life is too precious to live someone else's idea of what you should be or do.

Finding your dharma is essential for synchronicity as it is the natural path you are intended to follow through life. Your personal dharma follows the path of least resistance and cannot be forced. If you find your personal dharma, this can lead to wholeness and a sense of satisfaction. Everyone has a unique and special gift to share with the world and a unique way of expressing it. If you are filled with frustration and anger, then you are probably estranged from your dharma. The universe is a network of crosslinked destinies: to love, to serve, to know and to be, and once you discover your dharma and follow it, you can contribute to the collective human dharma and a united consciousness.

Dharma consists of two essential components, both your essence, which is who you are most of all, and your duty, which is what you can do for the world and ultimately what you can do for the universal consciousness (God). Dharma also relates to how you behave and your morals, in other words, acting in a good, responsible way. It is not only what you do, but how you do it.

There are five steps you can take to find out what your dharma is:

Get quiet, meditate and clear you mind of judgement: Think about your life from a new and deep perspective. Ask yourself: "Does my life have meaning? Who am I? Why am I here?" Ask yourself this repetitively at thirty second intervals and write down what comes into your mind. You don't need to write in complete sentences, just short phrases will do. It's important to connect with your calm, all-knowing, inner voice - your stillness, and not your ego. Everything has a purpose, every creature, every living thing. It's an inner calling. You're always connected to it as it's your divine purpose. People say "You can do anything." This isn't strictly true. Ask yourself, "Is this what I really am? What is in my nature?" A lot of people aren't following their dharma and if they don't find it, they tend to become self-absorbed and unhappy. Krishna said, "It's better to fail at your own dharma than to succeed at the dharma of someone else." Don't be influenced by what others tell you to do. Only you can possibly now why you're here. If you struggle to hear that inner voice, immerse yourself in nature and go to a place where you can get rid of any distractions.

Deeply reflect on your dharma: What are your passions? What makes you feel alive? Make a list of your passions and talents which aren't reliant on money. Rumi said: "Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do."

Focus on your strengths: These make you feel alive and accomplished. It's not just something you're good at. Everybody has a unique talent and a special way of expressing it. You also have unique needs. Ask yourself, "What am I here to give?" If you have children, start them early with this thought so they too can find the reason they're here. The possibilities are unlimited.

What is your personal legacy? How do you want to be remembered? Focus on how you can serve humanity. This may not necessarily be linked to what you do for a living. Essentially you're a spiritual being that has occasional human experiences. You're here to express your divinity and your unique talents. Your talents are so unique that no one else can do them and the way you express them cannot be expressed by anyone else. When you combine this with service to humanity, you get your full dharma and get full abundance. Don't ask, "What's in it for me?" with your ego, but ask, "How can I help?" in the spiritual sense. "What am I here to give and who do I have to give this to?" If money was of no concern, then what would you do? How are you best suited to serve humanity?

Do something every day that feeds your soul and that fulfils your dharma: Ask yourself, "Where do I go to share what I have to give? What is the best way?" Following your dharma takes great purpose and strength as you may have to walk your path alone and uncover a path which is overgrown with weeds. It may be that you're called to do more than one thing. If you feel lost, then study, pray and meditate. Ask the universe for solutions to your problems. You need to live your dharma every day as it's a million times more powerful that living someone else's dharma. Share it and make sure you reach your target audience whether it be in an online book, a performance, a short article or blog, or part of a community event. Make your dharma take over every area of your life and incorporate it into your daily rituals. If you're living your essence then you have your full power. Deepak Chopra says, "There are no extra pieces in the universe, everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle."

Once you have worked out what your dharma is, you need to take steps to implement your goals:

Plant your dharma: Find the right environment and people who support you. Follow your intuition. If the people and setting are wrong, you will feel it deep inside. Take steps to make it right.

Take action but don't force a result: Bring the being and the doing together. Live from your essence or else you won't have your full power. You can't be something you're not. In order to take action, you need to overcome your fear of failure. Have a long term perspective. It doesn't matter if you make a few mistakes.

Let go. Become a messenger and spread what you have to the world: Focus on becoming the best you can be. Don't cut corners. Be patient and centred and focused. Let go of the outcomes, really let go or you will find you are being led solely by your ego which may be motivated purely by material success.

Be your authentic self: Don't follow other people's mindsets or influences. If you could start again what would you do? How would you share your dharma? It comes back to your interests and talents and what you have to give to the world. Everyone is unique. Only you can do things the way you do them. Stop and reflect what is special about you. It may be your talent for talking with people or working with your hands. It could be your problem solving abilities or perhaps your ability to organise large events. Everybody is good at something.

Try this meditation below to see if you can find your dharma:

Find a quiet place, make yourself comfortable and close your eyes. Take three deep breaths and focus on the darkness behind your closed eyes. Ask yourself mentally, what are my talents and strengths? Focus on this for a few minutes, taking a mental note of what first springs to mind.

Then ask yourself, what are my passions, what makes me feel alive? Reflect on this for a moment, feeling into what it is that inspires you.

Then ask yourself, what have I got to give to humanity? This might be something small and seemingly inconsequential, or it may be a whole series of different things, whatever the answer, just remember, you are unique and this is important.

Finally, ask yourself, why am I really here? Allow the answer to spring from your heart, your deep-seated intuition. Not your ego. Make a mental note of what first entered your head and reflect on this for a while. If money was no obstacle, how could you achieve your life purpose? What steps would you need to take? Who could you turn to for help?

Make yourself a mental list of what you would need to do first and how you could get started. Don't think about the obstacles. If they come to mind, then let them pass. Focus only on what you can do right now.

Then gently open your eyes and write it all down under the following sub-headings: talents, passions, the reason I'm here, what I need to give humanity, the steps I can take. Pin up what you have written in a prominent place and make a pact with yourself to live your dharma every single day, even if it is just for a short part of each day.

If you struggle to find your purpose in this life, then things can seem bleak and it may be tempting to walk away from life, to give up. We've all reached rock bottom before, where everything we've tried has seemingly ended in failure. But know that sometimes your purpose in this life takes time to come to fruition. It may be decades before some people discover their unique contribution to the world. They have to go through life's journey, develop certain strengths and consolidate what they know before they are able to give back to the world in a way which is special. And sometimes when you discover your dharma, you realise that it's not necessarily anything earth-shattering that you bring to this life Maybe you bring just a quiet fortitude that people know they can depend upon, or a wisdom that allows people to learn about life from you.

Below, I have included a story I came across on social media. It is about taking your time to find what is intrinsically special about you and to never give up searching.

One day I decided to quit...

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I asked. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me..."Look around," he said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them," he said. "I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo."

"In the second year, the fern grew more vibrant and plentiful", he said. "But still nothing came from the bamboo seed. I did not quit on the bamboo."

He continued, "In year three, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed, but I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit. Then in the fifth year, a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later, the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

After that, he asked me. "Did you know, my child, all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots? I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others," he added. "The bamboo had a different purpose to the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful. "Your time will come. You will rise high."

I asked: "How high should I rise?"

"How high will the bamboo rise?" he asked me back.

I was confused. "As high as it can?"

"Yes," he said. "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

The moral of the story is to never, ever give up. Don't tell God (the universal consciousness) how big the problem is, but tell the problem how great God is. The answers are all out there.
Chapter Ten – Changing your Attitude

As I began to work on expanding my awareness and came to realise that I wasn't my body, that I'm part of the consciousness that all creatures are a part of, I noticed a subtle change in my attitude to life and to people in general. I began to develop a more positive outlook on life and experienced a sense of joy at feeling that life force flowing through me.

Staying positive is not easy though. So many people live their lives with a negative mindset. Rather than noticing the positive things that happen to them, they only notice the negative things. For example, a person goes to work and overall their day goes smoothly but then they receive that one email which is negative, or someone cuts across their lane in the traffic on the way home. Later, perhaps at the dinner table, someone asks them "Did you have a good day?" and they bring up that one bad event, although dozens of other good things happened that day.

In the end, having a negative mindset can end up like a disease. When you only notice negative things it is impossible to be happy and when something truly terrible happens you can slide into a deep depression from which it takes a long time to emerge. By focusing on the positives you build resilience so that even if something bad does happen, you manage to keep a positive outlook. Cultivating a positive mindset involves doing three basic things:

Develop gratitude: if you are consciously aware of the good things which happen in your day, then you are less inclined to notice the negatives. Make a list on a daily basis of three things you are grateful for that day. These may be simple things like finding a carpark close to the shops or someone opening the door for you, or coming home to a hot meal. You may want to write them in a journal or write them on a whiteboard, but it is important to write them down every day so that gratitude becomes your focus.

Develop empathy: think about other people and about doing little acts of kindness. Our bodies are wired for kindness, because every time we do something good for someone else we release the 'feel good' hormone, oxytocin and it lifts our mood. Kindness doesn't cost much. It may be as simple as giving someone a complement or preparing a meal for someone who is sick, but the benefits it gives you in return are huge.

Develop mindfulness: bring your focus to the present moment. You can learn to do this by practising mindfulness meditation every day and by becoming aware of your thoughts. When you feel your mind wandering, stop and bring it back to the present moment. At first this might require conscious effort, but it is well worth it in the end because it takes yoout of that cyclic pattern of thoughts in which you are ruminating and worrying about things.

People often develop a negative mindset because they see the world as something they need to conquer and control. They have this desire to control every little aspect of their lives and are often quite rattled when things go wrong. They want everything to be perfect all the time, but they forget that they live in an imperfect world where bad things occasionally happen. Events you can't anticipate can occur quite suddenly, and even the best laid plans can go awry. Just remember, that the universal consciousness is driving the car, not you, so take a seat in the back and enjoy the view as much as you can.

The universal consciousness, which you're a part of, encompasses both the good and the bad, the positive and the negative. When people learn to accept this and recognise their true part in this consciousness then life becomes easier. Alas, the ego is constantly assessing and judging, throwing up negative thoughts, causing emotional upheaval, especially during difficult times. But like a surfer, you need to learn to ride the waves, even if you get dumped at the bottom of the ocean from time to time.

I have to admit that it took me a long time to learn this. I think I was born a perfectionist, and even minor things used to cause me grief; a dent in my car, an argument with a friend, a favourite item that was lost. I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to fix things or situations which did not live up to my exacting standards. Now when I look around, those things I once considered imperfections, seem a natural part of the fabric of life. Everything is how it is meant to be right now. I am no longer emotionally invested in upholding some sort of perfect standard. If you can learn to accept imperfection and move on after a bad event, then you can avoid becoming trapped in those strong rips which form the undercurrent of life, and which can, if you let them, threaten to drown you.

This concept may sound overly simplistic, because some problems, such as a serious illness, cannot be easily glossed over. But I've often observed that the happiest people are those that just go with the flow. Rather than floundering like a fish out of water, try floating and eventually you'll end up in a better place. It may sound like a rather passive approach to life, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have no choices. You can still choose what you want from life and where you want to go. All it means is that you accept the good and the bad along the way.

If you're one of those people who learns to navigate life's treacherous waters, not only will you wear a smile on your face, but you'll rarely be bothered by what other people think. Who cares if your favourite shirt is torn, and you've accidently dyed your hair orange. You can handle these setbacks, for they'll soon pass. Why worry if a work project isn't going the way you planned or your sister isn't talking to you. These issues will eventually be resolved and if they're not, try to move on.

Sadly, in our society, criticism and judgement are common place. Even the most inconspicuous person is judged by others around them, about the way they look and the way they act, and it's difficult not to become emotionally affected by that.

Almost from the moment you're born, your families is appraising your appearance, how you move, how you cry or laugh. This is the way your identity is shaped, but always remember that your body and your mind, the way you talk and you laugh, aren't the real you. The real you is the consciousness deep inside you, the awareness which witnesses life, the background across which your thoughts pass.

As your identity forms, the ego grows stronger and makes more demands on you. The voice in your head says "don't do that, don't say that, be careful. The real "you", your consciousness, quickly becomes swamped by thoughts, feelings and emotions.

As you continue to grow and develop, this appraisal from other people is extended to include the way you perform academically, socially and physically. Sometimes the judgements are positive and uplifting such as when a parent says, "Oh, aren't you a good swimmer" or one of your teachers says, "What beautiful writing - great work!" Your ego tells you, "Great, I'm good at swimming, I can write stories, now I know what I'm good at." You begin to believe everything you are told, whether it's true or not.

Quite often though the judgements are negative or critical, and as every little fault is pointed out to you, it is quickly recorded in your log book of memories. You identify with what you've been told and see the world through a tinted lens. You repeat what you've been told. "Oh, they say I'm clumsy. I guess I'll never be good at sport." Or maybe you hear some other version, "I can't read or write properly so I must be stupid. I better stick to playing football." Pretty soon you become limited by your own perceptions, or your self-confidence is so shattered you become wary of life.

It's no surprise then that so many people grow up touting around a lot of baggage as they carry their psychological scars from one experience to the next. For some people, their sense of well-being is so diminished that they can barely function, as they wait to be reprimanded again and again. Hiding away from the world can seem like the only answer.

At the root of all this suffering is the illusion of the separate self, which hinges on the belief that the "I" who you think you are, is limited to your body and mind. However, if you can see yourself as you truly are, as the awareness or witness to what happens to the body and mind, then the illusion vanishes. Basically suffering is to the mind, what pain is to the body. It is a by-product of the mind, not a goal. It's merely a reminder that you've mistaken yourself as a separate self, just like pain is a message to the body that something's injured. If you focus on the suffering then it's like spending your life collecting water in jars when that water doesn't exist. It's merely a mirage as there's no water to collect.

If you explore each of the causes of suffering whether it be money, relationships, pain , then they're all linked to maintaining this separate identity where you believe that that your body and mind is all that there is. But the "I am" isn't limited by your body and mind, and once that's clear then you can forget about the paraphernalia of suffering. You can forget about the thought that "I am not rich enough", not "pretty enough", not "good enough for him", or not "talented enough to do that."

The "I am" can be likened to the servant in a house serving an old man. The old man is your separate self, and the servant never ever sees the old man because he's not there. The servant can look in every room of the house but the old man is never found. As you keep exploring, you have this growing realization that he's never been there. The separate self doesn't exist. The egoic self with all its demands is a function of the mind, which is working hard to maintain your personal identity, but your mind is not the real you, and your personal identity is merely manufactured.

You rarely look beyond your identity because by the time you're at school you are heavily entrenched in it as your thoughts constantly remind you of what you think you are. You face judgement in every direction. Everywhere you turn, the criticisms come thick and fast, and your mind processes it all, storing it and regurgitating it, over and over again. The real "you", your consciousness and your spirit, becomes buried beneath it all.

Unfortunately, some people are not only the recipients of such criticism, but like to dish it out in equal measure. Rather than accepting that sometimes mistakes occur and that life isn't perfect and that people are fallible, they turn around and put a negative spin on everything that is going on around them. There are certain people that are worse than others when it comes to giving out judgements and they literally pollute the very atmosphere they're standing in.

We all know of at least one person who's a real 'killjoy'. These are the people who kick up a fuss and return their meal every time they go out to a restaurant, creating great embarrassment for the people who they're dining with. When they go out with friends, rather than laughing and having fun, they spend the entire time focused on every single imperfection around them. They rarely smile and few people enjoy their company.

There are also those people who do this subversively by spreading gossip or talking about people behind their back. Their comments can be particularly destructive, especially when the person being maligned ends up hearing about them. "Oh, she's so fat – why doesn't she just go on a diet. He always wears the same clothes. He's so boring. She never pulls her weight at work. She just spends the day chatting..." This ultimately creates a toxic environment for the people they're with who become aware that they are constantly being judged. In the end, their environment is shrouded in negativity and cynicism.

Of course, everyone is prone to making the odd negative comment or two, particularly when they're having a bad day or something goes wrong, but rarely do we recognise where this is coming from. We let our ego have free reign, even though it is merely throwing up thought forms, or reactions, and these thought forms are not who we really are.

You can learn to foster a positive mindset of acceptance though, and as your awareness expands this becomes natural. By living in the moment, rather than following your train of thought, you can live a more conscious and intuitive life. By looking for the positives, your life with automatically become happier and your relationships with others will become more harmonious. The aim is to try to live your life with an expanded view of existence, breathe as if you are a witness to your body and its sensations, and feel like you are one hundred percent in the now without trying to grasp for the next moment. Let the next moment come to you. Live like you're "being" not merely "becoming" for if you spend your life in a perpetual state of becoming, you never reach what you want to become.

Having an expanded awareness can be very intense. It is a bit like playing a musical instrument. You experience great joy but you still need to focus your attention to play music beautifully. It becomes easier if you go with your natural inclinations - you can be serious but you can also be light-hearted and playful. Explore where does hearing take place, where does seeing take place, where does touching take place.

When you live with this expanded awareness, all your habits of 'being contracted' are challenged. New resistances to this expanded state of awareness appear to arise but often they're ancient; you were just unaware of them. There's a fight within the body and there's a resistance within the mind. You have to make an effort to go into an expanded state of awareness, for you have to release old tensions and contractions which make you react, out of habit, to everyday events.

For example, if someone criticises something you've done, your contracted self, governed by your ego, might try to counteract that criticism with an emotional and angry response. Let's say you've cooked a meal where the meat is a little too crisp and the vegetables are soggy and your partner immediately launches into a full scale attack on your culinary skills. In the past you would've seen that as an attack on your identity as a competent chef, and you may have walked off in a huff or shouted back. With an expanded awareness you can shrug it off or make light of it for this chef is not the real "you". Maybe you could even make a joke. "I know it looks like a lump of charcoal swimming in a swamp of greenery but it probably tastes wonderful!"

Try not to internalise the negativity and stew on it as it will profoundly affect the way you live your life. If you remember every little grievance, you'll end up miserable, looking at life through smoke covered lenses. It's inevitable that some people will never like the way you do things. You can't possible please everyone, and there's no point in trying. Everyone has different preferences, and sometimes what one person dislikes is enjoyed immensely by another. For example, your husband might think the roast meat is overdone but your son might think it's great because they like the crispy bits.

There's a lot of truth in the famous saying, 'every cloud has silver lining'. Trying to find the positives in everything that happens to you, instead of focusing on the negatives, can lead to finding unexpected joy in life. Perhaps you've just been made redundant from your job and there are endless bills arriving, but rather than sinking into a deep, dark depression, this may be your opportunity to start something new. It could be time to start up that business you've been talking about for years or to try a change to a career which you find infinitely more pleasurable. Maybe that car accident you had could also end up being a good thing. You have no vehicle to get from place to place so you get out that bicycle that was just sitting in your garage and end up improving your fitness. Or maybe you learn to navigate the public transport system which can take you past places you never knew existed.

Sometimes, what is perceived as a truly negative event, can lead on towards a really positive outcome. We've all heard of people who have experienced great tragedy and who pick themselves up and go on to do great things. The parent who loses a child to road trauma and campaigns for new road safety rules that end up saving countless lives. Then there's the man who loses his wife to cancer, and raises enough research funds to find a cancer cure.

Those who turn adversity into success are often lauded for their tenacity, their willingness not to give in. For example, it took Thomas Edison, 101 attempts to make a successful incandescent light globe. When he was asked, "Don't you feel disappointed that you wasted so much time on failed attempts?" His response was, "No, because I learnt 101 ways how not to make a light globe." He saw the journey as a positive learning experience and sometimes that's all you can do when life kicks you in the guts. You get up and you continue on, however hard that may be.

It's inevitable that you'll face disappointment at some stage in your life, but it's how you deal with it that will determine whether you live a happy life or a miserable life.

I love the Fijian attitude to life. Everywhere we went in Fiji we saw people with smiles on their faces. They'd greet us in the morning with the word "Bulla" which was expressed with a loud, exuberant voice and a large grin. The word 'Bulla" translated literally means "Life." Some of these people lived with only the barest of necessities, a roof over their heads, a mat to sleep on and a few articles of clothing, but they still managed to greet everyone with a smile on their face.

Some say if you try to replace your sallow expression with a smile then you will soon end up happy. Just the very act of smiling can allow the joy to creep in.

Negativity is a kind of disease and it's easy to catch. It's far better to ward it off with a positive frame of mind. Live with the glass half full rather than the glass half empty. Even if all your dreams end up as nought you'll have had a better experience in pursuing them than the man who sees nothing but the speed humps in the road.

I've found, at times, that I've become my own worst enemy by seeing nothing but the bumps in the road. For example, I once experienced a dismal family holiday just because we got a speeding fine at the beginning of the trip. All I could think of for the next few days was how much that fine was going to cost us, so instead of living in the moment and enjoying the time spent with my family, I let my thoughts take over and worked myself up into a state of abject misery.

By focusing on things that you find imperfect, you can end up missing out on seeing the many beautiful things the world has to offer. We all know of people who moan and carry on when they are in a new situation. Maybe they are on holiday and the hotel bed's not soft enough or they think the food tastes funny. Perhaps all they focus on is that weird buzzing sound in the tour bus and so they shut their eyes and miss out on all the great scenery around them.

Life always throws up challenges and disappointments, but that doesn't mean you have to carry them with you like a portent of doom. Sometimes it might be something that someone said to you that sets you off. "Oh, you always forget something, you're always late, you parked the car at the wrong angle...these little criticisms can set you off like a firecracker if you let them get to you.

All you need is to become a little more aware of your responses to what other people say. Pause before you speak. Consciously focus on becoming more positive. Try to cultivate graciousness and good humour instead of anger, calmness instead of turbulence. When the negative thoughts arise, push them away. They don't control you – they are just like turbulent waves in the ocean. They'll soon pass. Let them go and strive to live a better life.

The reality is that you don't live in a microcosm, alone and secluded; you share this world with millions of others and pretty much everything you do impacts on someone around you. Just like you're part of the stream of consciousness, so is everyone else. Although you can't always see the results of your actions, they're impacting people around you all the time. That kind comment to the lady at the checkout might just make her day. That short rebuke you directed towards your child might just upset them enough to prevent them doing well in an important exam.

So the next time you're about to say something negative, consider who you're with, perhaps you need to look at life from their perspective and learn to show a little compassion? Some people can't help the way they are. Maybe they are facing some adversity that you're unaware of. Perhaps they're in constant pain or maybe their best friend just died. By fostering a positive uplifting attitude you might actually help them.

In your most immediate environment that may be by being kind to one of your friends, a family member, or a work colleague. On a larger scale, that might mean your neighbours, your local community, or even your entire country. Everyone has the power to touch someone in some small way by recognising their situation and acting appropriately. How more beneficial it would be if instead of berating someone, or judging someone, you were to focus on what you can do in your life to make the world a better place.

Perhaps there's someone suffering who's close to you and you can help out in some small way. A simple act of kindness such as making a family meal for a friend who's sick and unable to get out of bed can make all the world of difference to their recovery. It doesn't need to be a grand gesture. It may mean acknowledging someone's suffering by sitting with them for a while and comforting them. We're not all destined to become Mother Theresa who helped so many. But we can do little things that reach outside ourselves to help others.

I'll never forget the time I came down with a bout of viral meningitis. With a high fever, severe headache and being physically unable to get out of bed, I was feeling desperately ill. My friend, Kathy, dropped by with a fresh pot of homemade chicken soup. She not only gave me sustenance but even offered to drive my children to and from their primary school during the worst of my illness. Another friend dropped by and lent me their electric vaporiser. These small gestures gave me the courage to keep fighting and eventually, some six weeks later, I managed to recover from the illness.

Some of the greatest acts of compassion are those that are spontaneous, seeing a need, and addressing that need. I remember once we went on a trip to Mt. Hotham, a snow-covered peak in the Victorian Alps. Although it was summertime, up on the mountain at night, the temperatures dropped quite low, so by the time we drove up to the ski village at nine o'clock it was around four degrees Celsius. It was very dark and very cold. Having arrived at our lodge, we found that the door was locked and there was no one about. The only person with the key was my brother, but he was still some hours away, still making his way up the mountain.

With no other option but to wait, we sat in the car and watched as our windows frosted over with the cold. With the heating not functioning and little in the way of food, things were pretty miserable, especially for my kids who were still very young. Eventually, we tired of waiting so, with frozen limbs we decided to walk down past the other lodges to see if there was anyone who could give assistance.

We knocked on a few doors but no one answered, until eventually we met a lady in the corridor outside her apartment. We explained our situation and asked if we could use her phone to ring the caretaker of our lodge, who might then direct us to finding someone with another key. Without the slightest hesitation, the woman ushered us all into her small apartment. She immediately made us all a warm drink, got blankets for the kids, and told us we could stay there in her warm apartment and watch TV till my brother arrived, since the caretaker was not contactable.

It was a very kind gesture, especially given that we were complete strangers and we were clearly imposing on her privacy. She might not have thought anything of it, but it changed our very uncomfortable situation into one of hope.

There are many people around you that are suffering and although it is easy to turn around and ignore them or even put them down, a little compassion can go a long way, such as helping an elderly person across the street or helping a child who is lost to find their mother.

When my youngest son, Kes was just two, I was doing some contract teaching and left my husband, who was on leave, to care for Kes and my older boy, Alex. My husband is usually quite vigilant when minding the kids, but on one particular afternoon, whilst Alex was playing in his room and Kes was playing in the living room, my husband fell asleep on the sofa.

With no one to interact with, Kes decided he'd go out and look for his mum. He knew that I often went on daily walks around the block so after escaping through the side door of our garage, he took off down the street in the direction he thought I might have gone. I arrived home from work some time later, to find the back door open and my husband snoring on the sofa. Having located Alex, I checked the whole house and still couldn't find Kes. It was then that the panic set in.

It would have to be a mother's worst fear to discover her child's missing, especially when she has no idea where they've gone. We were just about to leave the house to start combing the streets when the front door bell rang. I opened the door to see two older ladies standing there with my son in tow, who was dressed only in his pyjamas. "We saw him walking around by himself", they said. "He was about three blocks down the road from here. He couldn't tell us his address so we asked him if he could show us where he lived." The two ladies had followed him all the way home to make sure he was safe.

It was a very compassionate gesture. Having realised how much danger Kes was in and how his mother must be worrying, they had made sure Kes was returned home. He could've led them on a merry walkabout. Still, they followed their instincts, asked him to go back to his home, and stuck by him until he was back where he belonged.

Showing a little kindness to someone isn't difficult, but so many people lead such rushed and busy lives that they choose to ignore those around them who may be in need of their help. Instead of responding with compassion in their heart, they give into their ego's demands. This is the same ego which controls your thoughts and tells you not to get involved, and gives you countless reasons to justify why not to help someone. It tells you not to help the old lady to cross the street because it would take too much time, or it might be dangerous with all the traffic around, or the lady might get angry at you for assisting her. But such thoughts are rarely rational and serve no purpose, other than to make you wholly unconnected to other souls in this world.

We can be so quick to misjudge people without really considering their circumstances. For example, someone who is homeless is not necessarily living on the streets because they are too lazy to work and pay their own way. They may have made a few mistakes and fallen on hard times, or perhaps they are suffering from a mental illness which makes them incapable of work. The tendency is to look down on the homeless or ignore them, when we could reach out and support them.

It is so easy to forget that everyone is in a different stage of their journey through this life. For some of us, we have to make the same mistakes repeatedly before we learn a lesson. We get knocked down, get up, try again, only to get knocked down again. Eventually after many trials and tribulations, we figure out that perhaps we need to try a different approach. That's why it's important not to judge people. Some people appear as if they are going nowhere, but essentially everyone has their own lessons to learn and they may be learning something completely different from you. A little compassion can go a long way. This reminds me of the story of the lazy ant which goes something like this...

One day a boy was out walking with his grandfather and as they were walking, the boy noticed a tiny ant walking along carrying a huge grain of rice. Soon after, another ant joined the first ant and he too carried a grain of rice. Pretty soon there was an entire army of ants heading towards their ant nest carrying grains of rice.

"Grandpa, how do all the ants know what to do when they can't even talk to each other?" asked the boy.

"They don't need to talk. They know what to do because they are part of the universal consciousness which tells them how to live in harmony with one another."

"But what if there's an ant out there that doesn't listen and doesn't want to carry a huge grain of rice?"

"I'm sure the other ants will still let the lazy ant follow them back to the nest."

"But that's not fair. Why should he be allowed to live in the nest when he didn't do any work?"

"The universal consciousness has its own way of deciding what's right and what's fair. One day the lazy ant will see the error of his ways and he too will carry a grain of rice back to the nest whilst a different ant looks on and does nothing. That's just the way the world works."

"Grandpa, how come you know so much about ants?"

"Boy, I was once like the lazy ant, but now I've grown up and now I understand my place in this world."

The reality is that every person is from the same divine source and it's the universal consciousness which unites everyone. You're connected through energy to other people even though you can't see the energy particles that spin around inside you. People tend to focus on material things because they can see and touch them with their senses, but as any physicist will tell you, there's a lot more to this world than what can be seen. You can measure energy and you can feel energy even though you may not be able to see it.

When you walk into a room with a large group of people in it, immediately you can sense whether the gathering is a happy positive one, or one shrouded in doom and gloom. Intuitively you can pick up positive and negative vibes. Without anyone saying a single word you can tell if there's something wrong because the tension is palpable.

'You could cut the air with a knife' is an expression often used to describe a tense atmosphere. In such circumstances, the connections between people are more easily recognised and what it comes down to is awareness. Are you aware of what's going on around you or are you lost in your own little world? Can you benefit by being more aware of others around you? Can you feel that intangible connection that links everybody? We all know what it's like to be with a group of people where you all feel totally alive. Through sharing an invisible bond, your heart is filled with joy and such moments, quite literally, nourish your soul.

If you're feeling down, seek out the people who are positive and uplifting, not the naysayers and doomsday prophets. Sometimes a simple phone call to a close friend is enough to lift you out of the doldrums.

When I am feeling down, I plan an event which will lift my spirits: I invite close friends over for a gathering or book tickets to the movies or the theatre. Everyone needs something to look forward to; otherwise life can become an endless cycle of work and paying bills. Obviously work is important, but life should not be merely about survival. If you can't afford to go out to restaurants or concerts, look for events that are free. Local councils often have events advertised months in advance. There are also many meet ups advertised on social media.

Some people are so shrouded in misery that they have completely lost the ability to recognise the small joys that are in their life. The positive feelings they generate may be fleeting, but relish them when they come.

Here is a mini-meditation to help you hold on to those positive feelings:

Find a comfortable position and close your eyes.

Think of a current goal, and imagine your how your life would be this moment if your ideal outcome had already happened. It could be something you've been waiting for a long time such as an overseas trip on a cruise ship or something as simple as celebrating an important milestone, perhaps a birthday or an anniversary.

Use all five senses and broaden your vision to include people, colours, and other meaningful features. Imagine what you are wearing, who you are with, what is surrounding you.

Feel the feelings you'd feel if you reached your desired outcome, making the emotions as strong as possible. Let the emotions become real, and don't stop your body from smiling with joy or sighing from relief. Hold these emotions for as long as you can, but no more than a minute.

When you're done, let everything go, open your eyes feeling happy and relaxed.
Chapter Eleven – What is a Spiritual Awakening?

There was once an old man who lived in a cave on the side of a mountain. Every day he would emerge from his cave, chop wood to make a fire, fetch a pail of water to boil for his tea, and collect the parcel of food left out for him by some kind villagers.

On some days he would emerge and the sky would be filled with dark clouds and there would be a biting wind that went right through him. On other days, he would emerge to find a clear, blue sky with the birds chattering in the trees and the surrounding bush land teeming with life.

One day he emerged from his cave to find complete stillness. All was quiet and all was calm. He looked around and observed that the clouds no longer looked like clouds, the trees did not look like trees and the birds did not appear to be like birds. Everything was united as oneness and this oneness was perfect.

He sensed that he was part of this oneness and shed a few tears as his heart filled with joy. Then he continued to chop wood for the fire and fetch water for his tea.

As you feel your part in the universal consciousness, you may experience a deep spiritual awakening which will forever change the way you perceive the world. Like the old man in the cave, this does not necessarily have to change the things you do in daily life to survive, but it will change how you perceive and respond to your environment.

As you distance yourself from the ego's demands and the false identity that has been attributed to you, these shifts in perception happen naturally. You no longer strive for the conventional markers of success such as money, power, fame, and social status, for material things have a lesser importance and there is no longer an identity that needs to be bolstered up and promoted. You may find you become more interested in what you can contribute to the world than what you can get from it. As your compassion grows, fighting against social injustice or helping the disadvantaged may become increasingly important. You want to make a difference.

As your perceptions change and you become awakened, you may feel you can no longer relate to the ego-driven, narcissistic people who surround you. This can create a sense of isolation and loneliness, because their worldview is so different and you no longer live in their fabricated world. You may even find that close friends begin to drift away. Although you may well understand them, they may not necessarily understand you and what you're going through. Some people may even misjudge you or perceive you as being a failure for not reaching towards the same heady measures of success.

Although most awakened individuals no longer care how others perceive them, in the initial stages of an awakening, the criticisms dished out by others may cause profound sadness. If you change your career or your way of life, you will find people will be affected by these changes as your false identity slips away. They may even ask you questions expecting you to justify your choices.

This has happened to me on many occasions. For example, when I changed my career from working as a highly-paid dentist to working as teacher, many of my acquaintances questioned my decision. They kept asking me, why would you give up such a high status career to do one for lower pay? They couldn't understand this decision because their values were different from mine. Whereas I value sharing my knowledge and teaching others, they put a higher value on money and social standing. Sadly, many teachers are still undervalued although in our most formative years we are so heavily influenced by them.

The important thing is to find what you can contribute to this world, what makes you special and unique. Sometimes this changes as you grow and evolve. You don't have to do the same thing for forty years. You do not have a set identity that you have to uphold and you do not have to please other people. Your ego may tell you this is the case, but as consciousness there are no such boundaries.

There will always be people who will try to pigeon-hole you into their limited value system. They want you to remain the same person with the same ego and set identity because that is the only person they recognise, and when they can no longer recognise who you are, they become anxious and argumentative. You become the round peg they are trying to fit into a square hole and they can't understand why you've changed.

You need to remember though that the false identity you once had has developed over years and it is often reinforced by the people around you, especially family members and close friends who you've been with for a very long time. When your false identity is stripped away and you no longer behave the same way, they may feel confused or threatened and may even try to provoke you to get a rise out of you. From this perspective, a spiritual awakening may not always feel like a good thing. I've found that the best recourse in these situations is to treat people with compassion and remain calm.

But it's not only your mental perception of things that may change. With changes in your visual and spatial perception, the actual environment around you may feel and look different. As the borders between objects dissolve, you may feel like you are quite literally living in a different world. This can seem disconcerting at first, though for the best part, such changes tend to fill you with awe and wonder.

The higher the intensity of an awakening, the more profound are your changes in perception. Although no two people will experience a spiritual awakening in the same way and to the same degree, there are some similarities which are frequently reported and which I'll attempt to describe in this chapter. Much of what is experienced can be difficult to describe verbally, however, for those who think they've had such a profound experience, it's comforting to know that others too have shared similar experiences.

In the short term, some of these experiences may be fleeting, occurring for but a brief period in time, perhaps hours or days, however, in the long term, the changes in perception tend to become more permanent and long lasting, till there's no going back to the old ways of seeing and feeling. Once you've opened the door to universal consciousness, there's no way you can go back to seeing things the way you did before. You'll change with each experience as it becomes stored in your memory and thus your awareness will become expanded.

I've listed these changes in no particular order. Obviously, the intensity of experience can vary greatly between individuals and not everyone will experience all of these changes:

Intensified Visual Perception: the world appears in more vivid detail, animals and plants seem more intricate. Colours may appear brighter and more alive, and the world may seem sharper and more real. Nature, in particular, appears fascinating. For example, it may appear as if the leaves on the trees are shimmering and you may experience a desire to touch everything, to feel its softness or sharpness.

Increased Presence and Timelessness: the past and the future become less important and the present becomes intensified. Time appears to slow down as you experience the eternal now. Your linear perception of time is a construct of the ego and once the ego falls away, there's a timeless quality to every moment. You may have this perception that everything that exists as it's meant to be right now. Everything in the present moment may seem like it vibrates in its own special frequency.

An Increased Awareness of the Spiritual Energy which Pervades All Things: there is an awareness of a vast presence, a something which gives rise to everything. To qualify this something as God seems limiting somehow. Your sense of wonder and awe in how life unfolds may become magnified and at times life may feel surreal.

An Aliveness in All Things: Inanimate objects seem alive and suffused with their own special energy. In rocks, clouds, even a table, you can almost see the atoms. This energy is almost palpable. You no longer see inanimate objects in the same way, as each object resonates with its own unique energy.

A Sense that All is Well, that Everything is Perfect: You experience a quality of bliss where everything is in its rightful place and is perfect. Even imperfections such as weeds and rubbish may look perfect. There's a strong feeling that the universe is a benevolent place and there's a sense of acceptance for all things, both good and bad. You stop judging everything and realise how things are imperfectly perfect.

Interconnectedness Between All Things: The boundaries between objects become blurred, melting away till everything is oneness. Everything living and non-living is just energy and becomes formless. Everyday objects such as trees may become blended somehow with the background which may appear as a huge swirling mass of energy and shifting forms. During these moments you may have to focus really hard to make out the borders between objects.

You feel as if You are Reborn as you discover the real "you": In a gradual awakening, the shift in identity is slow as you become less reactive to the demands made by your ego, but in a fast awakening, this new "you" can appear suddenly and abruptly as your false identity falls away. As new beliefs emerge, you let go of things that no longer serve you such as programmed belief systems that have been instilled since childhood. This may give you a greater sense of freedom as you realise that you no longer have to maintain the identity that your family and friends had created for you.

You Experience an Inner Quietness: all the chatter in your head stops, your negative thoughts disappear and you lose your false identity which is controlled by your ego. Even if some of the chatter reappears from time to time, you feel less identified with it as it continues on in the background. As you observe this chatter going on, at times you may find it quite humorous as the mind reinvents the same ridiculous scenarios over and over again. You will find as your awareness expands, that you no longer get caught up in this chatter, and can observe it as a quiet dispassionate witness. Most people think they have control over their thoughts, but in reality the mind just generates them spontaneously and sometimes they're so random.

Transcendence to a State of Unity: the sense of otherness between you and the world fades away as you begin to feel as part of the oneness of all things. You feel connected to the natural world and to other people in such a way that you have a unique understanding of what others are experiencing. You may feel a special bond with other living things. For example, you may feel like you're one with the birds in the trees, you can understand their language and what it's like to fly. You can experience their joy in living in the present moment.

Empathy and Compassion towards All Creatures is Increased: as you begin to sense what others are experiencing, you also feel their pain and suffering and this gives rise to intense feelings of love, and a desire to help others. You may feel driven to help others, even if it just means signing a few petitions to lobby for change. You may feel like volunteering in the community as you experience this strong urge to be of service to a greater cause. On the downside, being able to feel the pain experienced by others can become overwhelming at times, so much so that it can be difficult to watch news and current affairs programs on television.

A General Sense of Wellbeing: you experience less boredom, loneliness and dissatisfaction and you're no longer ruled by your emotions. You develop a gratitude for what you have and a greater sense of purpose in life. With this comes a sense of peace as you realise your thoughts do not define your reality. With the death of the ego, all illusion is stripped away. You'll come to realise, that you no longer have to behave in the way other people expect you to behave, and your thoughts about maintaining a false identity will no longer return to plague you. Your existence is not defined by what other people think, as only your consciousness is real.

Within the Stillness is an Intelligence that guides you: You begin to trust your intuition. You let go of old habits and patterns of behaviour as you release the hold that your ego had over you. You begin to see the cycle of mistakes you've been repeating and begin to express yourself in a more positive way. You begin to trust and listen to your body and may become more health conscious. Signs from the universe become more obvious and as you seek your truth, you become more aware of synchronicities that occur to help you. You realise that the world is not your enemy but an ally. The universal consciousness will adapt and change to help you if your intention is to live your own truth with integrity. When you're out of sync with this truth, then things can quickly spiral out of control, but it's ultimately your choice as to how you think and act.

As you continue to expand your awareness, you become less reactive to adversity. This is a fairly good indicator of how awakened you've become. The people who used to annoy you no longer cause a rise in you and you develop a greater tolerance and acceptance of others and your current circumstances. The bad things that happen in your environment no longer threaten to overwhelm you and plunge you into a state of stress or despair. You are able to cope with difficult situations more calmly.

The day to day stresses still continue, but you become less reactive. Challenges still arise and at times you may still become emotional, but the turbulence such emotions create is less marked. You can meditate and calm yourself as you continue with daily life. You naturally become detached from the melodramas in life as you observe them around you. Rather than taking you for a dive, these events are like ripples in the fabric of life.

As you become the witness or watcher, you develop insights about life that may be profound at times and at other times, simply amusing. I used to be such a serious person about everything, but now I find that I laugh about so many things in the progress of one day - the things people do, the funny things that happen, the chaos that threatens to envelop everyone. With a spiritual awakening there is a greater understanding of the human condition and life in general. You are not laughing at people's misfortunes, you are laughing as a co-collaborator in this great dance we call life.

For example, the other day my manager at work broke a vital piece of computer equipment that cost the company a tidy sum. As part of me looked on in horror as she tried to fix it and only made things worse, I couldn't help but smile at what a farcical world we live in. These things we see as so important can make a mockery of what we are trying to achieve. In the end, my manager improvised and we all got on with the job. No lives were lost and the day went on. In essence it was just another blip in the day, but it could have been so much worse if she'd made a big deal out of such an event and taken it out on others.

It made me realise that all people have their good and bad points. That loud, wilful people can also be kind and funny, or that the shy, quiet person who barely says a word can be a tower of strength in times of crisis. In short, people are perfect with their imperfections.

As your spiritual awakening progresses, a great many insights continue to arise, and you may find you naturally seek time out for silence and solitude. It takes time to process and make sense of things because the knowing that arises is spontaneous and can be quite surprising. The universal consciousness is revealing and unfolding things before your very eyes. Things you might not have noticed before seem important somehow. Little things, like the way one small event can directly impact another event till it produces a wave of events, like a domino effect. There is a certain rhythm to life which can literally make you dizzy with its intensity. Meditation may well become a necessary part of your day, in which case you will learn to incorporate it into every facet of existence. Instead of sitting and taking time out, your meditation practice may become extended to include active standing mediation.

Active standing meditation is considered more advanced than sitting meditation and confers the advantage of not having to set aside a special time and place to meditate. You can meditate whilst standing in a queue or waiting for a bus. Another great benefit is that once you have mastered being able to meditate wherever you are, you can begin to use meditation as a therapeutic coping mechanism to recover from unexpected surprises right on the spot, and as a method for improving your understanding of what you are observing. In a word, active standing meditation is both healing and empowering.

In a standing meditation, the key elements to focus on are your posture and your breathing. Rather than assuming a tight, rigid posture, relax your shoulders, and balance your head evenly over your shoulders. Lengthen your spine by imagining that you are tall and straight like a tree. Make sure your legs are slightly spaced apart and really feel into your feet. Spread your toes evenly and imagine that your feet are firmly anchored into the ground, almost as if they have sprouted invisible roots.

Then focus on your breathing. Rather than taking short shallow breaths, practice breathing with your diaphragm (that belt of muscle beneath your lungs). As you inhale, push your belly out and then as you exhale deflate your belly moving it back towards your spine.

I have detailed the practise of standing meditation below for those who which to explore it in more depth.

Standing Meditation Posture:

Stand straight with your feet shoulder width apart and parallel to one another. Pay close attention to the bottoms of your feet. You should feel that with the exception of your arches every part of the bottoms of your feet is making good contact with the floor. You're not standing on the sides of your feet, the inner edges or tipping forwards or backwards. Your weight is evenly spread across the bottoms of your feet to create that physical and mental sensation that people call "centred."

Lift up and spread your toes as much as you can. Then, set them down again and feel the contact that your toe pads make with the floor. Imagine that the bottoms of your feet are stretched to their maximum width and length to create the largest possible planes of contact with the earth so that you feel grounded.

Straighten your spine to its maximum length without arching your spine. Keep your head balanced over your shoulders then tuck your chin in slightly so that the crown of your head rises even higher. Stand tall like a tree and feel your mind shift into a more expansive, peaceful and confident mindset.

Bend your knees slightly and tuck in your bottom gently so that your tailbone seems to curl under you. Imagine that your pelvis is a large bowl filled with water. If you tend to stick your bottom out backward, the front rim of your bowl will tip forward and spill water and if you push your belly forward, the back rim of the bowl will spill over.

Look forward with comfortably open eyes and gently place the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth.

Hold your left hand in your right hand and place both hands on your abdomen. When you engage diaphragmatic breathing, your hands will feel your belly moving and you'll be able to concentrate on your breath more effectively.

Diaphragmatic Breathing:

Inhale softly and slowly through your nose as you push out your belly as if it's filling up with air. Inhalation time should be about 2-3 seconds.

Pause when your belly feels 80 percent full for about 2-3 seconds.

Exhale even more slowly through your nose as you draw your belly in toward your spine as if you're squeezing the air out. Exhalation time should be about 3-4 seconds.

A standing meditation, like many forms of meditation, is a great opportunity to search for the truth about your existence, to ask questions about what you really are and why you are here. In Zen Buddhism this type of urgent questioning is called "The Great Doubt", because the answers are difficult to prove and may cause the person to doubt their beliefs. Eventually, after much questioning, the truth is revealed and it is liberating.

I personally believe that a degree of ongoing questioning is required before someone is ready for a complete spiritual awakening. Questions such as, "why am I here?" or "what is my purpose in this life?" trigger the mind into searching for the truth. Other important questions include: "what happens after you die?" and "where did I come from before I was born?" Most people have doubts about the answers to such questions. If they test them with their intelligence and an open mind, they'll find certain truths arising out of their doubt. Eventually their belief in the answers becomes unshakeable. This forms a great foundation for a spiritual awakening. Eventually a point of no return is reached which is thought to be an excellent basis for moving towards enlightenment or living as pure awareness.

I devoted a great deal of time to this kind of questioning. I left no stone unturned in my search for answers. It was not just through meditation that I found answers, but through reading books and attending lectures, seeking wisdom from spiritual teachers. I even underwent regression hypnosis, delving into my past lives whilst searching for what lay beyond the veil between life and death. Not everyone needs to go to such lengths, but in my case it provided great clarity in moving forward to a complete spiritual awakening.

"The Great Doubt" in Zen Buddhism is at that point of no return. This is where every logical argument is used by the mind to question, but in the end, the heart simply knows to trust. Essentially, your belief becomes coalesced into a solid core and from that you can further spiritually evolve.

In Zen practice, the fundamental way to arouse this doubt is through constant questioning. Deep and honest questions must be asked that no superficial answer would satisfy, settle or lay to rest. These questions are not something you have to create, think up or be given. Simply inquire into what's under your own feet, at the heart of it all. What is going on here? What drives us to love others – yet stops us from loving fully? Why do we feel separate from others? Why do we arrive here precariously poised between life-and-death, live our lives, only to disappear again at death?

Your doubt may first arise as a kind of intuition. You don't know – who you are, where you come from, what is real, but you instinctively know the answers come from within. Or your doubt may first arise as a deep-seated sensation, emotion or feeling. Beginning with the feeling that you're not at peace, you cannot come fully to rest until you know the truth about your existence. However it may first arise, it's essential to properly direct and focus the doubt otherwise it remains inconclusive, indecisive. You may end up going round and round in circles and end up feeling as if you're banging up against the wall of yourself.

It will never be fully resolved that way. It needs to come to its own end, its own conclusion. This is where meditation becomes a useful tool. By persistently asking questions whilst meditating, your consciousness, which is part of the universal consciousness, becomes focused on revealing the answers. Somewhere deep down, you know who you are and why you're here. Through constant questioning and a quest for greater understanding, you're confronting your doubts, and will eventually find clarity in the form of a complete awakening. But without the questioning there can be no answers. As an ancient sage once said: "Great Doubt, Great Awakening; small doubt, small awakening; no doubt, no awakening."

Asking questions during a focused standing meditation is a great way to bring meditation into everyday activities but, like everything worthwhile in life, it requires practice. Once you get used to it, you can do it almost anywhere — standing in line, at a pedestrian crossing, and in elevators. Begin with diaphragmatic breathing, but when you exhale, in your mind, intone the words, "This. What is this?"

"This. What is this?" What is this that directs my body when I move? What is this that generates the thoughts that I think? What is this that feels the emotions that rise up in me? What is this that is asking, "What is this?" By repeatedly asking yourself this question in coordination with your breathing you are attempting to direct your attention back at its own source. This helps to purge your mind and body of tension, and worry. You feel consoled and at peace with yourself, and in the end, you feel free.

As you practice meditation, you develop a greater kinaesthetic awareness of your body and its orientation in space. You take a step away from the habit of always passively listening to what's going on in your head and you begin to notice the sensations of living more. Colours, sounds, textures, and odours assume greater depth and immediacy. Physical stimuli and emotions feel real, even as you notice how fleeting the world is. You become less impulsive in your reactions. This means your responses are more measured and calm.

When you're about to meet someone, meditate and clear your mind so you can give them your complete calm and undivided attention. When you're about to engage in an important activity, you can meditate before-hand and you'll be surprised at how confident, expansive, and generous you feel. And when something catches you off-guard, you can stand in meditation for a few moments — or even for the space of one breath — and ask the question "What is this?" Refrain from a knee-jerk reaction. Instead, act coolly, quickly evaluate the situation, and come to a decision about what to do next.

As an expert in meditation, you now have the ability to come literally to a standstill when you need to. Standing meditation endows you with the capacity to inject moments of clarity and sanity, common sense and love into the never-ending blur of activity that modern life can so often become. You wake up from that weird dream of doing one thing while thinking another that so many of people mistake for living. And what you experience, at the very least, when you wake up, is the beauty and gratitude of living in this strange and wondrous universe. No matter what you're doing, whether you're about to give a speech, before you go on stage or if you're merely standing in your home or workplace about to begin a task, harness the power of meditation for a few breaths and clear your mind of everything but your powerful intention to focus on what you are about to do.

In order to gain the complete benefits of any kind of meditation, it's important for beginners to practice every day. Remember that meditation requires a discrete set of skills in achieving relaxed posture, natural diaphragmatic breathing, and sustained direction of attention. It takes practice to master these skills. So make a daily habit of meditating at home. Then, it will become easy to enter a meditative state instantly from a standing position in daily life.

Eventually through persistent questioning, and recognising that stillness, that pure consciousness within, you'll find your place in the world and a deep, abiding calmness will wash over you. There's no further need to struggle as you go about your daily existence. You have the knowledge that you're part of something greater and that you're no longer at the mercy of your ego or the need to maintain a certain identity.

Sometimes when you go through a spiritual awakening, questions are raised not only about the nature of existence and the meaning of life, but also about how such profound revelations can be integrated into the everyday mundanities of life such as going to work in an office, or picking the kids up from school. Part of the problem is that there are many myths and misconceptions which abound about a spiritual awakening, as much has been written about it in literature and online.

Perhaps one of the most prevailing myths is that it's a rare occurrence, available only to gurus with long hair and long flowing robes who live in ashrams, or to those who are special or chosen for it. The truth is that there are hundreds of people who are awakened; ordinary people going about their lives, many of whom choose not to share this experience with anyone. Some of them have gone through such an awakening when experiencing a time of great turmoil or crisis. For some it just happens spontaneously and they don't even have a spiritual background. You don't have to be extraordinary or charismatic. In fact, the idea that it's rare can even become an obstacle as you begin to believe it's beyond your capabilities.

Some people even take that idea further by saying you are consciousness so therefore you're already awakened. Why bother seeking it? The problem with this attitude is that in order to become awakened you must first feel this realization deeply within, you must recognise that you're the awareness staring out through your eyes. This is not just some abstract concept that you think about. It's a shift from the 'you' that you label as your separate identity to the consciousness which is shared by all.

Part of the problem is that some people see it as an accomplishment, something they must work towards, when in reality it's more about letting go. To become awakened you must recognise your natural state, and this is available in every instant. You can't become awakened – it's not something you become but what you already are and therefore in no way can it belong to you, for there's no "you", the separate self doesn't exist. In this sense an awakening experience doesn't give you anything. It takes away what you thought you had.

There's also a prevailing myth that it's not possible to live in a continual state of wakefulness; that you must run away from worldly life to do this or you'll never experience a permanent state of bliss. Firstly, to be awakened isn't an experience. It's a thorough understanding about existence. A state of bliss can be experienced when you're awakened, but like all experiences it's temporary.

You won't walk around with a permanent smile on your face. You'll still experience emotions such as anger whilst you inhabit a mind/body, but invariably love will become the predominant one as you realise that hatred towards others is foolish. It's like cutting your own throat.

There's this perception that you must somehow alternate between a transcendent state and being part of the 'real' world. This is totally untrue for when you become awakened it's actually easier to live in the world. You don't lose the ability to focus, or pay the bills or organise your life. Everyday life becomes easier because your mind is uncluttered. Rather than the world being revealed as some sort of illusion, it becomes more real as it is imbued with spiritual energy and seems more alive, more magical. Everything is sacred and intensely real.

It's not some sort of spiritual fantasy that you get caught up in and for this reason those who have experienced a few spiritual insights are not necessarily awakened. Spiritual insights are usually temporary whereas an awakening is a permanent shift in who you take yourself to be. There's a deep knowing that you're awareness looking out through your eyes.

Some people believe that their spirituality and any insights they may experience make them more powerful or creative. In truth, an awakening doesn't make you more powerful, the only power it confers is that you're free to act spontaneously without inner conflict or self-judgement. The war between the conscious and the subconscious comes to an end and you're in harmony with yourself. You don't suddenly become all knowing, but as your awareness increases you become more in tune with the universal consciousness and the life source which confers a sense of oneness or unity.

An awakening doesn't lead to perfection either, for your life lessons don't spontaneously disappear; it's just a little easier to sail through them. You flow with the river of life without resisting anything; like a river navigates the boulders, so you navigate the undercurrents of life.

With an awakening there's no desire for self-improvement or to reach some sort of high standard of perfection because you no longer identify with your body and mind. You're free to be your natural self with all its imperfections.

You've no interest for power, possession or worldly affairs. You lose the zeal for a materialistic life. Such things are pretty much like lolly pops to you; with just a few quick licks, the pleasure is over.

Although you may feel happier and more in harmony with your environment, there'll be those around you who aren't and may need some of the positive energy that you radiate. With negative people you may still experience emotional turmoil at times or negative reactions to certain situations - these emotions act as a warning sign and bring growth and change. Therefore, your relationship problems will not disappear overnight. Your relationships will still require work and effort as dealing with challenging people is a part of everyone's life lessons. You don't stop learning when you become spiritually awakened. Some things just become easier to deal with.

This is because the experience of becoming awakened lessens the influence of the ego. The ego is a necessary function for survival for it warns you of threats to your personal security, but it also maintains your sense of identity. Your thoughts, feelings, memories and beliefs are part of this identity. But when you awaken to your natural state, your identity falls away and your thoughts and feelings become part of the background. You no longer hold on to them, and are no longer get swayed by their stories. You become less reactive to people who challenge you, and because you are less defensive your life becomes more harmonious.

There's a prevalent myth though, that awakened people become indifferent to the world, that they shut themselves off from the world to live a hermit-like existence. Quite contrary to this notion, awakened people tend to become more concerned with the world – they develop a desire to heal the world and to help with global development. They'll offer to volunteer their time for a good cause; they'll be the first to rally against some injustice. They become highly attuned to other people's pain and the welfare of every living entity becomes important. Sometimes this can become quite overwhelming as the concerns of the world come flooding in and it's difficult to watch others suffering without wanting to intervene somehow, but, of course, it's not possible to do everything or be everywhere to help, so you have to choose your causes and do the best you can within your own capabilities.

Experiencing an awakening is not the end of your personal development. The journey continues, just in a different way. If anything, it opens up the possibilities of how you can live a more meaningful existence. Instead of being concerned primarily with worldly matters such as money, material success and relationships, you realise what a privilege it is to be alive and how wonderful the flow of consciousness is. There is a magic to everyday existence that's there for everyone to share. The universal consciousness has its own rhythm and you just want to keep dancing to its tune.

You may seek out times of solitude for there's profound peace in stillness and silence. Because you enjoy being part of the universal consciousness, you'll no longer fear death and dying, for you understand that consciousness never dies, even when the mind/body withers away.

Life is a magical journey and you enjoy the highest freedom as ego and possessiveness vanish, and you're no longer bound to a false identity. You know what the 'I' is in "I am" and this knowledge is liberating.
Chapter Twelve – Enlightenment

You may well ask, what then is the difference between an awakening and enlightenment? The short answer is that they are one in the same thing but just different stages along a progression towards realization as pure consciousness. Enlightenment is a term more often used in popular culture. As a term it holds certain connotations, where those who have attained it, are often revered as exalted gurus who live in a permanent state of bliss and are unfazed by anything that life throws at them. As a consequence, ashrams are filled with those who seek to find it, guided by a great many spiritual teachers who skirt around the topic and seem unable to aptly describe how to reach such a state.

To add further confusion to the issue, there are countless definitions of enlightenment which have been documented in literature. Some of these definitions are quite prosaic. It has been described as the awakening from the interminable darkness of ignorance to the endless light of consciousness. Other definitions are strongly linked to Buddhism and the notion of rebirth where enlightenment is described as transcending the cycle of reincarnation by the extinction of all desire and suffering. One thing is certain though. A truly enlightened being is no longer bound to a personal identity, they have no self to be reckoned with, and thus they live in a permanent state of non-duality. Given the pressures of daily life, I believe that such people must be incredibly rare.

However, I have no doubt that there are many awakened individuals out there who slip in and out of this expanded state of awareness. During deep states of meditation or during a silent retreat they may experience pure consciousness for extended periods of time. However, once they're immersed in the rituals of day to day existence, they begin to identify with the thoughts of the mind/body and get caught up in the dramas of modern life. Although they recognise that they're part of a universal consciousness (and are immersed in it to some degree), they still live in a dual state of consciousness where they're also aware of their mind/body identity.

For those going through an awakening experience, there may be confusion, as enlightenment, or this state of non-duality, may be perceived as something you need to work towards. But to think that you need to follow a path or a journey to reach enlightenment is somewhat misleading as it is not something you reach, but a state you wake up into. A complete spiritual awakening is consciousness waking up to itself, on its terms and with its own timing. We have no control over that because we are not the doer. It is always consciousness running the show.

My understanding is that those who do eventually "wake up" or "fall into enlightenment" can behave very differently afterwards. Some slip quietly into it, and change nothing about how they act, think or get their work done. At the other end of the spectrum, some have a very disorienting and life-falling-apart process, where they feel overwhelmed or may even go crazy for a while. And of course, there's every degree in between those two extremes. One thing is a given though. You must be willing to go through a radical change if what you seek is not more intellectual wisdom about consciousness, but the full transformation into pure being.

Only a few rare individuals are said to reach enlightenment in an instant. In a single moment of unified understanding they lose their sense of self and all the baggage that comes with it. They're able to avoid the obstacles that are faced by those who seek enlightenment and view it as something elusive. By striving to find it, these people can be led by their egos with their desires. The attainment of enlightenment is placed on a pedestal along with other status symbols where it becomes linked with a false sense of identity. Rather than existing in a state of pure consciousness, the person panders to their ego which tells them they are enlightened. They then become convinced that they're special or exalted in some way. They may even go around telling others they are enlightened because it makes them feel superior. But if you're truly one with the universal consciousness, your individual identity doesn't exist anymore, and what others think doesn't matter one jot.

The only difference then between an awakening and permanent enlightenment is that self no longer exists, there is no separate identity. The person no longer shifts to and fro; from having an identity with certain characteristics and a structured conditioned way of being, to a state of pure consciousness where the self completely disappears. There is no image to uphold, no rhetoric. It's just seeing things as they truly are.

Enlightenment, in this sense, is a natural state. It's not something imposed upon you and nothing is added. In fact, it is quite the opposite. It is the letting go of your acquired conditioning and sense of identity. The "I am..." no longer exists. You are just pure consciousness.

Some people argue that experiencing this is impossible whilst restricted to the confines of a human body, for in a body you'll always be limited by the boundaries of a human sensory experience. My own experience is that such a state of non-duality could be attained through complete detachment but would be difficult to sustain because of outside living pressures.

When I first became detached from my body as a witness, I perceived the world very differently from the usual way. Things looked different, felt different and I could even perceive what it was like to be part of this consciousness as a completely different entity such as a tree or a bird. In that sense I was in a non-dual state for at least part of the time. Furthermore, when I was detached from the body/mind pattern of thoughts, I experienced feelings of bliss or great joy that lasted initially for hours and then days, but eventually for weeks, even months.

Even now, for the most part, I feel calm and at peace, unfazed by the turmoil experienced by others around me, but every now and again I get stressed by something and regress back to the thought patterns of my false identity. Thus living in a state of pure consciousness is not something that can easily be sustained, some adjustment is always required. After a few steps forward, you may regress back into the body/mind complex of ego and identity, only to move forward again when your circumstances change.

Fortunately, once the door to recognising consciousness has been opened, you'll never completely regress to what you once were. With a further series of awakening experiences, a pattern may emerge where you move forwards and expand your awareness, only to regress a little when times are tough. It may take tens of years for someone to attain permanent enlightenment, although, in truth, most people living in this fast-paced world never get there at all.

How would you know then if you were truly enlightened? I can only surmise what this would be like, based on the experiences of others. What seems fairly certain is that the enlightened person would no longer be plagued by constant desires and, aberrant thoughts. They would not be plagued by the suffering associated with chasing ideals to uphold a false identity. There is no self and no personal identity. Therefore, a lot of the suffering associated with negative emotional states and physical pain would also be diminished.

Although the person would remain aware of their physical body and the thoughts in their mind and their emotions, they would no longer grasp on to them and become swamped by them. Like an impartial observer or witness, they would be aware how they feel but would also recognise that this moment will pass.

Some people who claim to be enlightened say that thoughts can still invoke a deep emotional reaction, but they recognise there is no truth in them. Thoughts become like little dreams. Sometimes they are useful, like when planning an activity, and sometimes they are not, like when chastising themselves for saying the wrong thing.

Whilst existing only as a non-changing field of pure consciousness, there is no self to pander to, no identity to uphold and perfect. As the purest state of being, it allows the person to receive great insight into the human condition with all its frailties and foibles and, through spiritual revelation, an understanding of the true nature of the universe. Everything is interlinked, and like a fabric woven from a vast number of different threads, there is a pattern to the universal consciousness when looked at closely. In this purest state, nothing is ever perceived in the same way again, and some things which were once held to be important are said to naturally fall away.

Despite the rhetoric associated with the term 'enlightenment', there's no actual secret to finding this pure state of consciousness. As already described, it requires the stripping away of the layers of identity built up by your ego. You need to open your eyes to what you are, pure consciousness. You need to become the perfect witness or watcher. It means distancing yourself from the constant cycle of thoughts which continue on unhindered in your mind and serve to distract you from the present moment. What emerges is a sudden or gradual awakening where the stillness behind your thoughts becomes all pervasive and the borders between conscious beings begin to dissolve.

To experience what it is like to be the perfect witness, try this exercise below:

Close your eyes and let your mind function like the screen of a television. No matter what passes through your mind, simply remain watchful, doing nothing, not even judging...

If the thoughts come, let them come...and then let them go.

Don't grasp on to any thought, word or image. Merely observe them as they pass through.

Don't stop to analyse any word, thought or image. Just watch...

As you continue to watch, eventually the screen becomes empty. Soon the watcher or witness is all there is. There is nothing left to be watched on the screen for the screen is completely empty...

And when the witness is left alone, it starts watching itself – because that is its nature, to watch. Everything else happens through and around the witness; everything – as the witness is pure presence. Silent, peaceful and joyful presence...

To be truly enlightened, therefore, means to exist in an egoless state, in a state of pure consciousness not driven by the emotional upheavals which plague most people. It's quite an irony that by striving to seek such a state, many people are actually harnessing their ego's motivation to become superior, as unenlightened individuals are lowered to the status of mere mortals. As soon as the mind is engaged and this state becomes an object to strive for, then all hope of finding this natural state is clouded by the ego's attempt to judge and analyse the process of revealing this state. The separate self becomes the subject doing the seeking but the object, which is enlightenment, is never found because enlightenment is an egoless state with no self, no superiority complex, no subject and no object.

This is why truly enlightened people are rarely those that draw attention to themselves, and are often the most humble souls walking this earth. The enlightened person has lost the sense of a separate self and since he knows his place in the universe, he doesn't need validation from others. He has nothing to prove to anyone, including himself. The interconnected nature of our existence would not just be a concept but a reality. He would realize that all physical beings such as animals, plants and people are dependent on each other for survival, and his humble nature would allow him to be kind and gentle and open to everyone he encountered.

A question often asked by those on a spiritual journey, is whether you can recognise if someone is enlightened or not. There is a general perception that an enlightened person would be calm and portray a certain aura of grace. Some say they have a glow in their eyes or that they exude charisma which naturally attracts followers to them. However, there are many who follow a spiritual path that could be described in this same manner, although they have not yet attained enlightenment. Some people even purposefully cultivate such a persona to appear more spiritual.

To complete the journey towards enlightenment might take many years and it is likely the individual would still get up, go to work, and come home again, just like everybody else, at least initially. I believe that maintaining such a normal life with bills to pay and with pressures from people around them would be difficult, if not near impossible as a fully awakened and enlightened being. At some point such an individual would need to distance themselves from normal society to exist as pure consciousness, without the ego intruding. For this reason, such individuals often become spiritual teachers as others are drawn to them, seeking what they have. Some end up leading an almost hermit-like existence, either in a monastery or an ashram.

Although outwardly the enlightened person might be indistinguishable from the ordinary man on the street, there are certain mannerisms which might set them apart. These are not personality traits per se, such as being quiet and shy or boisterous and extroverted but are related to that individual's reactions to what is happening around them.

For example, such a person would have a natural optimism. He would not be worried about life's challenges, knowing there was a resolution and that even if this resolution was not the most desirable, he could accept it and be at peace with it. An enlightened person would know that suffering comes from within and is not alleviated by material possessions so they'd generally be detached from the desire to acquire physical wealth. You probably wouldn't find this person shopping for designer labels in some high end fashion store. Nor would you find them investing in stocks on the share market. Money and fashion are associated with desire and with maintaining a certain type of identity and the enlightened individual has no sense of self.

With the knowledge that the human condition reaches beyond this physical existence, such a person wouldn't be stricken by the type of turbulent emotions experienced by the majority. So many people are strongly invested in maintaining their identity and are therefore constantly struggling as they wrestle with their ego's demands. Enlightened individuals would no longer engage in such battles. They wouldn't be plagued by fear, worry and doubt, and would remain unfazed by circumstances which others might find irritating. Inwardly they would be happy and joyful and this would shine through.

You would expect that such a person would be willing to share their joy with others because they genuinely care about other people, regardless of whether these people care about them in return. They wouldn't measure what they give out by what they get back. They'd know that other people provide them with the spiritual nourishment that they need to continue growing and therefore they'd remain spiritually open to everyone. An enlightened person wouldn't get easily hurt by others because they'd no longer have an ego that needs validation for its existence. Therefore they'd be emotionally stable, and would rarely get angry when someone didn't agree with their opinion. There would be no need to prove anything – no ego to bolster up.

You would imagine such a person would have great inner strength as they'd no longer have to cope with the power struggles that most people engage in. Their interactions with other people would be healthy and they'd be able to replenish their strength through connecting with consciousness as a source of spiritual nourishment. They'd be mindful of keeping body, mind and spirit in harmony in order to maintain this spiritual condition hence keeping their physical, mental and emotional health in balance would be a priority. By maintaining their spiritual strength on a daily basis, perhaps through meditation and other activities such as Qi Gong or Yoga, they would be in a better position to help others along this path.

They would understand and appreciate how a person's ignorance creates their own suffering and therefore their kindness and compassion would extend towards all those who aren't as far along the spiritual path. No one would know more about the challenges of achieving enlightenment and so such an individual would be the last one to condemn someone else for their mistakes and lack of direction.

Because an enlightened person is able to see the world with greater clarity, such a person would be insightful and open-minded. They're unlikely to be attached to preconceived ideas about people, places and things for those ideas are often a product of our conditioning. When the personal identity is lost, there is no fixed belief system upon which to judge others. As pure consciousness, the enlightened person no longer sees themselves as a separate individual as all boundaries between people are dissolved.

However, having awakened to the point of understanding the nature of suffering, they would realize they have a duty to help other people find freedom from suffering. Such a person would lead by example, rather than control. Some people would follow them because of who they are and what they stand for. Others would want to be more like this individual. For this reason enlightened individuals often become leaders. If they become famous, it's usually because of their great compassion for other people and their ability to share the message of how to find peace and joy. They are usually more than willing to share their insights with others, but this doesn't mean that they'd know everything in one instance. As pure consciousness they'd be privy to insights that other people lack but a full understanding of the nature of our existence would require ongoing learning and a natural curiosity.

Given the extraordinary nature of a complete awakening, it's not that surprising that only a handful of people have been given the recognition of having attained enlightenment. This list includes such inspirational leaders as the Buddha, Krishnamurti, and Jesus Christ. It's clear they all experienced a profound spiritual realization, and it's probably not too far a stretch to believe they'd come closer to an egoless state than most humans who walk this earth.

Jesus meditated for forty days in the desert and after wrestling with the devil (which some have referred to as 'his ego'), he became enlightened. Buddha achieved enlightenment after six years as a yogi under the Bodhi tree, and even Moses was considered enlightened when he saw a shining (burning) bush after many years of living a secluded life in the desert.

The Buddha has been said to have experienced a continuous state of bliss which was both physical and mental. You may well ask who's experiencing this bliss if there's no self after enlightenment, and the simple answer is that pure consciousness can be blissful. Devoid of your ego and your tumultuous thoughts, you're essentially that, pure consciousness. Enlightenment is therefore not so much an experience – it's a thorough understanding about existence.

Not everyone has to reach enlightenment though to experience moments of bliss. You can experience longer, more sustained moments of joy simply by becoming more aware of life around you and by learning to enjoy life in the present moment. By learning to distance yourself from your negative thought patterns and becoming more accepting of what life brings you, it's possible to intuitively navigate the ups and downs of life.

To say that having an expanded awareness will prevent you from ever becoming stressed in the future is a misnomer though, because even when you're living a healthy, balanced life, in tune with the universal consciousness, you can still experience moments of sadness. This may be due to the loss of a loved one, through broken relationships or serious financial problems. Essentially inhabiting a human body with a mind is a sensory experience and like all sensory experiences, it is impermanent and changeable. Emotions are neither good nor bad. Whilst using a body/mind you experience all range of emotions which contribute to a meaningful life. Even a spiritually awakened person will laugh, cry, get angry and feel fear, but of all the emotional states, love will be the dominant one.

It takes time to overcome conditioned responses to a stressful event. When the pressure rises there can be a tendency to revert to a habitual mode of thinking where you grasp onto anxious thoughts that are constantly replayed in the mind. However, as your awareness is expanded, those thoughts quickly rise to the surface and disappear and the spaciousness you inhabit becomes predominant. Over time, I have noticed that within this spaciousness, I have become more than a mere witness. I have often felt joyful, even in difficult situations. In that state of expanded awareness, I can see the true perfection in everything and with that perception has come the knowing, with absolute certainty, that the universal consciousness (or God) consists of pure unconditional love. It also contains a creative energy so powerful that it is difficult to fathom what will next arise from it.

Knowing that there is no separate me, that the real me is just pure consciousness; I also know that, timeless and eternal, this consciousness cannot die, even when the mind fails to work anymore and the body withers and dies. This knowledge can be a great comfort to those experiencing a serious illness which is life threatening. The body is just a vehicle we inhabit whilst on this earth.

When you're awakened, you can face the stressors in life with joy in your heart, but rather ironically, some people don't actually become awakened until they are in the midst of a serious crisis. Such an event is referred to as 'the dark night of the soul', a phrase first coined by St John of the Cross. It is said to encompass a range of disturbing symptoms including panic attacks, great terror, a fear of reality and a serious detachment from real life, even hallucinations. By having to work through these thoughts and emotions, the person's perception can be dramatically changed till eventually they awaken to a new reality.

Eckhart Tolle is thought to have experienced such an awakening after a period of turmoil where he said, "I can't live with myself any longer". He then questioned "who is this 'I' that cannot live with the self?" Tolle has said he woke up to a state of complete peace.

In the midst of such a crisis, life becomes meaningless because many of the concepts which were once believed in no longer seem to ring true. For example, the notion of there being a God, a divine presence that'll help you if you pray to him, may suddenly seem alien. There appears to be no order, no rhyme or reason for existence and everything is cast in a dark shadow of negativity. The person may feel very much alone, abandoned and in a constant state of despair. They may ask themselves, "Where do I go from this? How can I continue to live life with so little hope? As they work through all this negativity, they emerge from such darkness into a better place.

When I turned fifty two, I experienced such a dark time for many months on end. I was already on the threshold of an immense awakening and had caught a glimpse of my true nature, but then, without warning, I was plunged into a deep depression from which I feared I would never emerge. Having gone through this though, I now know that as each day passes, you gradually return to the light. There's really no need to do anything other than to continue to survive. It helps though, if you try to do one thing each day which you find pleasurable, for example, watch a sunrise, sit in your garden, or go and pat your dog.

It's also beneficial if you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Avoid the naysayers and doomsday predictors for they'll only bring you down further. Turn off those bleak news reports and current affairs programs which only seem to report disasters. Instead, seek out the events that bring you peace and joy.

During my period of darkness, I spent a long time in my art studio making detailed pastel drawings. Through that focus and concentration, and through daily meditation, I found I was able to push the dark, negative thoughts away and slowly the heavy, cloak of misery that I was shrouded in was lifted. If you find something else to focus on, you tend to look outwards not inwards.

When you're depressed, every single negative event weighs you down, even minor ones, like breaking your wine glass, or misplacing your keys. It can seem like the whole world is conspiring against you. Acknowledge those feelings of sadness but don't dwell on them 24/7. Look towards the little things that make you happy: a talk with a good friend, an inspiring movie, a well-brewed cup of coffee.

Rather than focusing on problems, focus instead on the good things around you. Perhaps you have a caring and supportive family, a comfortable home, great colleagues at work, beautiful children, a mischievous dog. Even if you have none of those things, you have life, you can breathe, you can sense and feel.

In truth, a lot of your misery is conceptual, a product of the fanciful make-believe world of the ego which keeps telling you how awful everything is. If this cloak is flung off, the truth about life eventually reveals itself and you realise that life is a gift, a beautiful rare gift.

Out of despair, joy slowly emerges as you grow to appreciate the little things that life has to offer. Simple things like a smile from a child, a luscious green plant, or a funny saying.

As you emerge from the darkness you become blindingly aware of the rampant paradox that exists in the world. What was once ascribed as being so important in your world of the ego, with its constant judgement of all objects, people and events, suddenly no longer seems so important. What is... just is, and that is meaningful enough. A person, a flower, a pair of shoes, they exist and will be or not be whatever they are as the life force flows around them, and there's no need to change that. If you surrender to this lack of judgement, this acceptance of how things are, you paradoxically find a much deeper understanding of how wonderful life is.

In the midst of all the angst, darkness and despair, just when the person feels most alone and has no one to support them, suddenly the divine reveals itself. The person becomes aware that he is part of the universal consciousness and experiences an awakening experience. Identification with the body and mind begins to fall away until this natural state of being is completely revealed.

Even whilst you are in the depths of despair, life remains irrepressible, teeming in the skies, the ocean and on the land. You're part of this life force, this consciousness and it's a beautiful thing, if only you can realize this. But if your natural awakened state is not fully revealed to you, happiness can still be found through fostering acceptance of what comes to you in the flow of life and trying to forgive those who hurt you. It means learning to let go of the perceived injustices in life and accepting the difficult situations in life. With the good there's always the bad, and no-one can change that. You can try kicking back at your enemies, but in truth you're merely kicking against yourself. Everyone is connected as part of the same consciousness, from the same source and therefore we're all united as one.

It's important not to grasp on to negative thoughts and judgements. Try shifting your attention to the here and now, and become more mindful of your current situation. Plagued by dark thoughts, it may seem at times as if the flow of these thoughts is never ending and the ability to focus on the present moment becomes an impossible quest. Trying to find a gap between your thoughts seems like a hopeless feat as your consciousness becomes buried beneath a ton of swirling refuse.

Even the practice of meditation may appear futile, particularly when you go to bed and the rampant cycle of thoughts and problems becomes intensified by the mind's tendency to seek solutions and rehearse possible scenarios for a future that doesn't exist.

In such situations, pause, and write everything down. Grab a notebook and jot down all your woes, list all the possible solutions and any steps you plan to execute in the following days. Then let it all go and bring your focus back to the present.

Focus is important. Play some soothing music and just listen. When a thought comes, just let it pass. Focus on the space in front of your closed eyes and just observe the darkness or muted colours. Focus on your breath and its natural rhythm as you inhale and exhale.

Focusing on the breath is a quick and effective way of infusing a little positivity into your life. By gaining an awareness of your breathing you are naturally shifting your focus to the present and away from problems in the past and perceived problems of the future. It's not a case of learning how to breathe better but getting to know the breath as it is: shallow or deep, long or short, slow or fast, smooth or rough, coarse or refined, constricted or loose.

Because of the mind's tendency to be scattered and easily distracted, you can use the breath as a kind of anchor to the present. When you rest in the breath, you are countering the strong forces of distraction. You train the mind, heart, and body to become settled and unified on one thing, at one place, at one time. If you're sitting in meditation and your mind is on what you did at work today, then your mind and body are not in the same place at the same time. Fragmented this way, you can easily lose touch with a holistic sense of self. Repeatedly returning to the breath can be a highly effective way of training you to let go of the disturbing thoughts and emotions which freeze the mind and heart and can lead to despair.

There is an old Latin proverb, 'dum spiro spero' which translated means, 'while I breathe, I hope'. So the next time you find yourself sinking into the depths of despair, take a deep breath and keep going.

You may even wish to try a yoga breathing exercise or Pranayama (which literally means extending the vital life force or 'Prana').

Find a comfortable position in a quiet place. Begin by pressing the thumb and forefinger together with palms held downwards on the edge of the thighs. Breathe in for a count of two and out for a count of four. Continue to breathe this way. After one minute, change your hand positions as described below and continue the cycle till you feel calm.

Hand Position or Mudras during this Yoga Breathing Exercise:

Chin Mudra for grounding the mind and for unity of consciousness. Press thumb and forefinger together and rest fingers with palms downwards on the inner edge of the thighs.

Mushti Mudra for the release of pent up emotions. Make the hands into a fist and put both hands palm downwards on top of the thighs.

Venus Mudra for love and healing. Clasp the hands and place them in your lap just under your navel.

Gyan Mudra for finding wisdom. Press thumb and forefinger together and rest fingers with palm upwards along the length of each thigh.

Gyan Mudra Variation 1 for more energy. Press thumb and forefinger together with forefinger resting at the crease behind the first knuckle of the thumb.

Gyan Mudra Variation 2 for bringing energy inwards to become calmer. Press thumb and forefinger together with forefinger resting at the base of the thumb.
Chapter Thirteen - Unlocking the Magic of Life

First you wake up to what you really are, but then you have to integrate that realization into all the aspects of your life. The waking up is actually the easy part compared to the integration.

If you wake up to and become centred in your real nature, then you can lovingly address any misalignments in the body-mind that need addressing. If you're willing to do the work of integration, every layer of your being becomes permeated with the powerful energy of an awakening. You start to then embody that awakening, which is beneficial to all beings. If you don't do the work of integration, even if you're awakened to who you really are, then you're not really benefitting anyone else or living to your full potential. Your dharma might be to teach others about spiritual awakening or to work for a large charity organisation. It could be any number of things. But if you don't acknowledge this when you are awakened, then you may find that you become out of sync with the universal consciousness and that life becomes increasingly more difficult.

Some people wake up to their real nature and then dismiss the body-mind and its problems rather than work with them. This process of integration-and-embodiment involves a lot of looking. When you hold up a thought or self-image and look at it in the Light of Awareness, you can clearly see to what degree it is misaligned with your deepest nature and either discard it or try to digest it. For most people, this doesn't happen automatically; they need to actually do the work of looking and discarding or looking and digesting.

In life whenever you go through a major shift or change, you experience some upheavals and some challenges. It is a necessary theme in your life. Life is made of such moments but rather than looking at them as an endless array of problems – just remember they are but a blip in the passage of time and you should overcome the urge to resist them. In other words, sometimes in life, you need to give up swimming and let the flow of life sail you through all the hurdles you are meant to pass.

When you grow spiritually, it is inevitable that you will leave some old patterns behind. You may abandon some of the things you used to love doing. You may even abandon some of your old friends. Some discussions or activities might suddenly seem very mundane. You might not feel like doing them ever again or the discussions might seem demanding on the soul level. Whatever the case, you must go through the pain of leaving them behind in the process of spiritual ascension. This might bog you down. You might feel the urge to reconnect with some people or activities, but the thing is you cannot force any of it. Just let it go and be. Things will fall into place one day or the other.

Your spiritual awakening might take a toll on your everyday life and your relationships. You may feel like no one understands you and you might feel very alone. Be patient with yourself and let things flow to you naturally. Let it run its natural course and let nothing hamper your sanity. Feeling alone is a state of mind, but when you put yourself out in the world, you will notice there are so many people who are alike, and these people will help you sail through everything. Find your tribe. Find your guiding spirits and just let go of all the inhibitions. Learn to trust your instinct, follow your inner guidance system and remember to mediate. If your brain is too active to meditate, then write or draw, or run. Get into the flow. Get into the role of the observer and move away from the running commentary of the mind.

It may feel like waking up from a long slumber. What seemed like a great idea ten years back might not exactly please you anymore. For example, you could be in a long term job or career and then one morning when you get up, it might seem to strangle you to your core. When you experience a spiritual awakening, your growth rate is accelerated and you tend to lose patience for things which are shallow or meaningless. This transition is a part and parcel of your life when you are awakening to new horizons, and a career shift is bound to take place unless what you are already doing is nourishing your soul.

But don't rush things. Self-Realization is a series of inner flowing shifts of consciousness changing over time. It's an ebb and flow process. One moment it may feel as if you have reached nirvana and the next moment you may feel as if you are in the depths of hell, because this is a balancing process. The negative and positive intertwine into a balance. It is a process and a journey, not a destination.

If you start on this path and suddenly think "I can't wait for the day in the future where I will be (such and such...)", then you're projecting an idea of how you view awakening, instead of embracing the actuality or appreciating the journey.

A Spiritual Awakening is not one specific moment in time which needs to be reached. It is a process where you recognise who you are as pure consciousness and you choose to no longer identify with the egoic mind and the thoughts which automatically arise from it. As you expand your awareness, you will be able to identify such thoughts much faster so they don't hook into your emotions as easily. This is a process of conscious observation which is a skill. At times you may be without any thought in your mind, but at other times, particularly when you are stressed, thoughts may be flying at you every second. To begin pinpointing when this occurs, takes patience and understanding.

Reacting to stress is part of the body's primal fight/flight response, however, when we continue to remain in this response pattern long after the stressor has disappeared then we end up in a cyclic reactive phase of existence where our emotions remain heightened and we continuously ruminate over our thoughts. Many of these thoughts are fearful or negative and dwelling on them continuously can become a bad habit.

Once you have an awakening, you become aware of these negative thought patterns and stop unconsciously projecting your thoughts on to yourself. Instead with an expanded awareness, certain truths begin to arise and the ego and its illusion of a personal identity become transparently evident. You begin to discover new truths from actual experience rather than being blinded by irrational fears created by the mind. Such truths form the catalyst for further growth.

Gradually, as time progresses, there comes a feeling of release from the burdens of life. Although difficulties still arise, there's now acceptance and understanding. Life seems magical, it has a purpose. You want to revel in it and savour every moment. For those who've experienced such an awakening, there's now a profound realisation that there's more to life than just a few happy moments punctuated with a range of coping strategies to deal with the rest.

After a spiritual awakening you get to truly experience the joy of living, to savour the delight of being alive, and to feel happy and excited about life. It's clear this feeling is not tied up with material things for even the richest, most successful people continue to search for true enjoyment in life, but it's something more subtle and ethereal, you could even say it is enchanting.

As a child there was no doubt in your mind that magic and miracles existed. You likely immersed yourself in a world of wonder and amazing possibilities where you knew you could do anything your heart desired. Everything felt like a miracle, from the way planes flew in the sky to going on an adventure through the woods, yet as an adult you've somehow forgotten. Step into the knowing that magic exists for you no matter how old you are, and live your life with passion.

Of course, it's easy to tell someone to live their life with passion, but what does this really mean? What it doesn't mean is to go crazy and party like a rock star or to indulge in risk taking behaviour, as many can attest that this sort of behaviour often ends in grief. What it really means is to make the choice NOT TO STRUGGLE.

I've already addressed how meditation can help you to foster acceptance and find gratitude. I've discussed how calming your mind, focusing on the present, not the past or future, can help reduce stress and anxiety. You now know that a regular practice of meditation can help you to find that inner stillness, your true self, not your ego or your thoughts and emotions. You've probably even glimpsed those moments of bliss which are the realisation that you're part of this universal consciousness that unites all living things. But maybe those moments are fleeting and you've not yet fully immersed yourself in this magical experience we call life. Meditation is great but you'll miss out on truly living if you spend every minute of every day focused inwardly. You need to open your eyes and really look around you to enhance your awareness and fully immerse yourself in life. Here are some suggestions to help you along the way:

Learn to appreciate all the small things which might normally go unnoticed. Moments of joy can be found in just about anything, including the mundane. Share the sight of something special such as a rainbow or a glowing full moon with another person. Savour the sound and smell of the coffee maker in the morning. Watch with joy your pet's enthusiasm as you return home, or simply relish the happiness of hearing someone you love say your name. Remember to make some time in your day for something you truly enjoy. It might be curling up with a new book by your favourite author, or perhaps enjoying a glass of wine whilst you watch your favourite movie.

To find these moments of joy you need to live in the present moment. Have you ever watched a child so immersed in their current activity they have no sense of past or future? If so, you may have also noticed the light shining from their very soul as they bring all of their awareness into the present moment. As an adult, you tend to split your attention by worrying about the past or the future while completely missing the magic of the moment. If this is the case for you, it's time to reconnect with the present moment and take in the amazing experiences right in front of you.

Look for the miracles around you. Miracles, both large and small are happening around you every single day. Unfortunately, most people tend to overlook or ignore them altogether. Want more magic in your life? Look for it! Recognize the magic, miracles, and blessings that surround you and you can be sure that by doing so, they will multiply tenfold. The everyday is not something just to be survived or endured until the next big event. Each day can be savoured.

Just the fact that you are alive is a miracle! Of all the millions of possible gene combinations, you came out. The timing was right, you have the right number of chromosomes, your mother was able to carry and nurture you for nine months. Your heart beats, your lungs expand, your eyes blink, and your skin regenerates. Your blood pumps throughout your body. You inhale oxygen and exhale carbon monoxide. Just think about all that your body does. You're a miracle.

Furthermore, you live on an amazing planet teeming with life forms. There are thousands of different species of plants and animals for you to look at, care for, and appreciate. The sun comes up and the moon comes out and no matter where you live, you see the same moon as everyone else. The earth spins on its axis and you have a brand new day every 24 hours. The seasons change – nature runs in its perfect cycles, and you don't have to do anything except welcome it.

There are random acts of kindness performed every minute of each day. You smile and you can make a connection with a stranger. People are constantly connecting, forming friendships, valuing friends they already have. You get to choose who you want to spend time with, what you talk about, and how you spend your time together. Social media is being used by millions of people and is such a success because having friends and being connected is vital to your wellbeing. Sharing your life, thoughts, dreams, hopes and struggles with others is a privilege. Feeling understood is an everyday miracle.

Everyone is human yet people have developed in many unique ways. Some speak Japanese and eat raw fish; others speak Italian and eat pasta. Still others speak Russian, English, and Portuguese. Although people are different from each other and have created different ways of speaking, eating and expressing themselves, someone can sing a song and bring everyone in the same room to tears because it's so beautiful.

There are many miraculous things which unite people: music, film, art and amazing technology that is used on a daily basis. You can speak into a little metallic thing and someone thousands of miles away can hear you. You can type on your keyboard and gain access to information from anywhere in the world. These are all miracles. Embrace them and savour them, for they bring a little magic into our lives.

Be grateful for everything you do have instead of wanting the next best thing. **Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.** Gratitude is the foundation upon which magic is born. It makes even the tiniest morsels of joy worth celebrating and makes you a magnet to attract more incredible experiences and opportunities to you. Never underestimate the power of a simple 'thank you' to another person or to the universe. It makes all the difference in the world.

You get used to things and people being the way they are and can end up "taking them for granted." Relish your good health, your strengths, your family, and the beautiful world around you. Try to look at the familiar things around you with fresh eyes and remind yourself how miraculous everything truly is. It may be the tiny wildflowers on the nature strip or the strange cloud shapes in the sky. Pay attention to these things and give them a smile, and that way you might notice them more often. If this seems difficult, remember Einstein's famous quote: "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

If you think that there are people who have the character, the lifestyle and the objects you'd like to have, your joy in life will plummet because you're longing for something others have and perceive that in some way you are inferior to them. Hold your head high, flaunt your personal assets, and be proud of the person that you are.

Put aside your ego and embrace the relationships with people around you. Try to maintain your connections with people. Send out birthday greetings, plan get togethers, or send emails to someone you've lost touch with. Being too busy is no excuse as people are important. Even if relationships don't quite work out the way you planned, at least you know you tried and your sense of joy will not be diminished because you did your best. If you meet someone new who you'd like to know better, speak up and make an effort. Making new friends is a learned skill which enriches life. Look for commonalities. Do they like dogs? Perhaps they are into the same sport as you or have a love of art. Strike up a conversation and see where it goes from there. Choose to spend more time with the people who leave you feeling joyful and appreciated, and less time with bitter people who are ruthlessly competitive or disruptive.

Being settled, grounded, purposeful and mindful will sooner rather than later teach you the joys of living. So to maintain your joy in life you must continually think, act and behave in tune with your spiritual essence. This might mean letting go of old conditioning and allowing yourself to be a bit vulnerable. Are there people out there holding you back? Most of them are in your head, not in your physical way, so convince yourself that you can do whatever it is you aspire to do, and know that you can achieve your true purpose.

Rediscover your wit. This is not your biting sarcastic self, but rather the wit of an intelligent, amusing person who peppers their conversation with jokes, humour, and perceptive observations. Wit will strengthen your impact on others and it will help to lighten up tense occasions. It's a sure fire way of injecting more joy into your life. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, because with such flexibility you won't fall apart when people point out your weaknesses. By acknowledging your weaknesses with humour you will disarm any potential critic because you got there first. In bad times, try to see the funny side of the situation. Keep trying until you find something and practice this till it becomes a habit. Count your successes, no matter how small, and treat anything else as failed trials that taught you something.

Accept that nobody is perfect and that you don't have to be either. No-one is ever "rich enough, thin enough or good enough." Everyone has problems, even if they're not visible. Some people are just cleverer at hiding them than others. If you constantly compare yourself to others and give into the notion of doing more fitness training or spending more money on grooming and clothes, then you'll never feel joy. You'll simply have a relentless urge to acquire, achieve and accumulate way beyond what you find fulfilling. You can't buy joy but you can share it by complimenting those around you. Let's face it, if you focused more on the compliments people give you, and less on the criticisms, then the world would be a happier place.

**Infuse your life with love.** Love in and of itself is a magical feeling. Whether it is expressed in romance, friendships, or familial connections, love is what connects everybody. Give love. Share love. Speak love. Make eye contact with people and smile more often. Look into another's eyes with love and curiosity. If you practice this then it'll become a natural part of your personality and even that forced smile will become genuine.

Taking small steps to get to know people, even if it's just saying "Good morning" as you pass someone, can lead to trust and openness and long lasting friendships. Some people may not smile back, but that's okay. Let it go and pay more attention to someone else who's responding more. You don't know if that person is in pain or has just got divorced. It's about your genuine intent, and not about them validating you. One day you'll pass someone whose eyes speak of eternal wisdom and kindness and you'll be overwhelmed with a sense of profound human bonding which will rock your world.

You need to continually view your life as a small, but very meaningful part of a much bigger picture. This means accepting your "being" as an integral part of an interconnected and carefully patterned, yet ever changing, universal consciousness. In time you develop the understanding that you're indeed a unique and special soul.

**Own and honour your truth.** You're a beautiful mixture of cells, soul, and energy combined with your many experiences from this lifetime and beyond. It's time for you to stand in your place of power and own your truth. What do you stand for? What do you believe in? What is the vision you hold for your life? Embrace it. Cultivate it. Be proud and be you! After all, standing in your truth is the elixir of living a magical life. And if you aren't already doing what you love, go do it now! Love is the highest vibration you can feel and it's from that place amazing opportunities and experiences emerge. Love is magic.

Make time for yourself. Do something that makes you feel alive and just plain happy. Finish that old project, get tickets for a concert, or catch up with old friends. A frantic, hectic, and over-scheduled life has little time for joy, because joy and busyness are uneasy partners. Whilst a certain amount of being busy is healthy and fulfilling, being busy all the time speaks of self-importance and self-absorption where others don't matter, and this attitude misses the entire point of life. If your busyness is due to financial concerns, then consider long-term lifestyle changes that will reduce your everyday burden. If you have too many social obligations then choose only the ones that really matter and forgo the rest. People won't enjoy your company if you're super stressed. If you're happy, your family and friends will appreciate your good mood. Those close to you will be a lot better off than if you're sacrificing everything and collapsing in a heap from total exhaustion.

Reconnect with your inner child and get a little curious. Life's too short to stay stuck in the mundane responsibilities of life all the time. If you're feeling a bit uninspired and stuck, it might be time for you to shake things up and get a little curious about life again. Ask questions, learn a new hobby, join a meet-up group and get involved in your community. Travel to new places and try new foods or simply take a stroll through your local library to learn about a topic you've always been curious about. Seeing the world through the eyes of a child is often enough to put the spark back in your seemingly dull life.

And just like a child you must learn to play! There is nothing more magical than letting loose and having a bit of fun. Life is an adventure that is meant to be enjoyed, so grab your bucket list and start ticking things off, and if you don't have one, make one! Give yourself permission to have fun every single day and watch how it shifts every area of your life for the better.

Find the community you resonate with. Surrounding yourself with people who you really connect with is priceless when it comes to cultivating magic in your life. When like-minded souls unite, there is an energy and vibration that is palpable and contagious. It not only changes lives, but it has the power to change the world. Join a mastermind, workshop, or better yet start one! Building a community of people who can share, connect, and celebrate one another creates a magnificent ripple effect across the world.

Don't forget to dream. It's easy to get so wrapped up in life's day-to-day responsibilities that you forget about your own dreams and aspirations. When was the last time you allowed yourself to really dream of the life you want? What is your soul drawn towards in this very moment? Give yourself permission to dream again and then set a plan to make your dreams a reality. There's nothing more magical than living the life your soul is drawn to. If you're afraid of what the future might hold, then shift your focus to expect the best in life. For some people, not knowing what lies ahead can often be a scary thing and that's usually because they have come to expect the worst. There's no need to fear the unknown. Instead, you can lean into it with the same sense of wonder and magic you had as a child. The world is full of amazing opportunities and when you expect the best, that's exactly what you receive.

Don't stress over things you can't control or change, but make good choices which bring you joy and allow your soul to expand. Allow yourself permission to explore, discover, and experience new things and people. This means embracing all of life and knowing that the universe truly coincides with your innermost desires. It's about your attitude and your perception of life events and understanding your purpose. Embrace your purpose in life, get comfortable with it and practice it. If you don't know what your purpose in life is, then meditate and follow your intuition. All the answers are within. Ignore your ego which overthinks and analyses everything, remembering that this is but a false identity. Instead follow your gut, that deep inner consciousness and wisdom which is the real you. Follow the flow of the universal consciousness as it directs and guides you towards fulfilling your purpose. Enjoy the journey and embrace life!
Epilogue

Before you become awakened, you are like a robot walking around with a blindfold on. The more you try to define your own individuality, the further you move away from who you really are. You've been conditioned to accept this illusion of a separate self as you walk around in ignorance, in your dream world of shiny things and inflated egos. As you constantly grasp for things that bring you pleasure and that alleviate your pain, you become trapped in an endless cycle of suffering.

When Descartes said, "I think, therefore I am" he was describing this type of existence which is limited by a person's belief that they are merely a body with a mind filled with thoughts. In this type of existence you're limited by your recurring cycle of thoughts and preconditioned concepts, and you walk alone.

The realisation that you are consciousness, pure awareness looking out through your eyes, opens up a world of possibilities. When you become awakened, you no longer need to grasp at things and you're no longer bound by your thoughts. As you recognise the life force you are moving with, the universal consciousness that you're part of, you intuitively know what direction to move in, finding wisdom in this stream of energy that connects everybody.

People fear that if they lose their individuality, they'll lose their love of life. On the contrary, when you become awakened, the chains of resistance manufactured by the ego are removed, allowing you to truly appreciate the gift of life. You are now free to tap into the wisdom and creativity of the universal consciousness and to follow your own path. With blinkers removed, you now see the luminous beauty of reality with its imperfect perfection.

You still experience the full gamut of emotions: happiness, sadness, anger and peace, but life now has a harmonious flow to it and it makes sense. You know what was previously unknown, and you see what was hitherto unseen, and this fills your heart with a joy that is indescribable.

This experience is open to everyone if they are prepared to look for it. It requires no special powers, no magical gifts, just a willingness to live in the moment unhindered by the burden of thought patterns and a prescribed identity. Some people fall into it by accident, whereas others discover it by going inwards to find the stillness that forms a background to their thoughts. Meditation, in this context, becomes an invaluable tool, quite apart from the fact it has numerous other benefits for your physical and mental health.

Ultimately, once you have an awakening experience, the journey you're on becomes an inevitable movement towards expansion of spiritual awareness. This can only benefit those you live with as you grow in compassion and strive to reach out to help others a little more. It may not always be a walk in the park, but at least you know you've fully immersed yourself in the life you were born into. I look forward to deepening my experiences on this journey and hope that you too can share in this sense of discovery in your own journey.
Acknowledgements

There are many people I've drawn inspiration from in the writing of this book and who've helped me along my journey of discovery. My meditation practise was developed from the wisdom of Dr. Ainslee Meares, who pioneered meditation in Australia, and from the work of Ian Gawler and the Gawler Foundation, who hold regular retreats, which I have attended on more than one occasion. I'm also indebted to several teachers from the Gawler Foundation, namely Maia and Paul Bedson, who taught me much about meditation and how to convey the essence of this important practice to others. I'm also grateful to the Kadampa Meditation Centre and the monks there who selflessly teach people how to navigate the spiritual path, leading by example.

This book could not have been written without the insights drawn from great philosophers such as Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nat Han, Nisgardatta, Jean Klein, Adyshanti, Gotswami, and countless others whose words are so uplifting. I would particularly like to mention the work of Stephan Bodian, for it was after reading his book, "Wake Up Now", that I had my first spiritual awakening experience. This was a pivotal moment in my development, and motivated me to follow this pathway of spiritual discovery.

Last but not least, I would like to acknowledge my meditation students from whom I'm constantly learning, and my family, in particular, my husband Peter and my two boys, Alex and Kestas, who have supported me in my writing and have patiently given me the space in which to pursue it.
About The Author

Laura lives in Melbourne, Australia with her husband and two sons. She has had wide and varied career as a dentist, a researcher, teacher and scientist but is also an exhibiting artist. Laura has been practising meditation for thirty years and is a qualified meditation teacher who runs meditation classes as part of the U3A in her spare time. This book was based on both personal experience and scientific research, and was written after she experienced a series of spiritual awakenings which radically changed how she sees reality. Laura has also penned several novels which are available online at Smashwords and has recorded several free guided meditations on Sound Cloud.

