- I did a line of Coke.
Then I shit myself.
Then my pants split from back to front,
and only then did I get
kicked out of the Red Lobster.
- What?
- It definitely should
have happened earlier.
- You're so bad.
- Oh my God. I'm so bad.
- Cheers to the host with the most,
with no toast for organizing this.
- Should I have brought toast?
- Figure of speech, dude.
- Oh, weird.
- No, come on,
you guys are my people
and I just really appreciate you
coming so quickly after
Tonya and I broke up.
- Well, it's not like you were
really dating that long, so.
- Still, we're still here for you.
Help you get back on your feet.
- How long were you dating?
- One week.
- Oh, that's literally nothing.
- What's wrong with me guys?
I can't keep someone past
a Barenaked Ladies song.
- Pinch me?
- One week.
- I've never heard of that.
- It's new. It's new.
- It's not new.
- It's because you're too honest.
- You think?
- No, no, no.
You have to be honest, though.
You have to be like honest and upfront.
Otherwise you're going to be labeled
as being like shitty and manipulative,
and everyone will just hate you.
- I mean, people will still
hate you for your honesty.
- But, they'll appreciate
your authenticity.
- That's true.
- There's gotta be an
exception to that rule.
- No, you just have to be open and honest,
and you know, like just live your truth.
- But I told her I didn't
want anything serious,
which is true.
And then she just thought
it was in it for the booty.
- Well were you?
- I mean, yeah.
- Then you gotta be real with her.
You're living your truth.
- But doesn't that make me shitty?
- No, 'cause if you aren't
being honest with you,
you aren't honest with them.
Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
I love that.
- You got to take care of
yourself first, you know.
- Then, and only then can you
love somebody other than you.
Can I get a hell yeah?
- [Man] Hell yeah.
- That's just a bastardized RuPaul quote.
- I've never heard of that person.
- That's just like, do you remember Tom?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so I slept with Tom,
but then I ghosted him
because that's where I'm
at in my emotional life.
Like that's, what's healthy for me.
'Cause it's all about self care.
- Self care bish.
- Yes. Yes, live your truth.
- So he texted, and you didn't text back.
- Yeah. Casper baby.
- Ghosted.
- You know, sometimes
when we have these things,
I don't bring anything
eat or drink, you know,
because I'm not making a
lot of money right now,
but I know you guys are,
so I have no problem
just like diving in and
eating all of your stuff
Living my truth.
- Yes, live your truth, girl.
Oh, I asked my girlfriend
for an open relationship
because I'm too much of a coward
to break up with her cold turkey.
She said no, and she broke up with me.
She's just living her truth.
- Oh my God. Are you okay?
- I deserved it.
Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Be you a hundred percent.
- God.
Okay. You know what?
I'm going to tell my
hot cousin Svetlana,
that I've thought she was
hot ever since we were kids.
- Oh, that, yeah.
That's good. It's a little
weird, but it's a good start.
Yeah.
- I'm a server and I've
never claimed a tip
in my entire life
because my dad's an accountant
and he cooks all my books for me.
Livin' my truth, y'all.
- Okay, so I flirt with everyone,
even though I'm in a relationship.
Not because I like them,
but because I like when they like me.
Ain't no shame in that. Livin' your truth.
- Live your truth. Yes.
I once convinced these two
guys have a threesome with me,
but I got them to start kissing first
just so I could secretly film it
and then potentially use
it as revenge porn later.
Living my truth.
- Wait, did you have the threesome?
Yeah. Yeah. They weren't really into me.
- Living their truth.
- Oh.
- I mansplain to women because
I'm genuinely concerned
they don't understand.
Oh, that's called living your truth.
- Oh, thank you.
- I don't believe in vaccinating my kids.
- Thank God you don't have any.
- I voted for Trump.
- Holy shit.
- I think COVID's a hoax.
- Wait, wait, are we bad people?
- I killed a guy.
- Wait what?
- What?
What?
- I was living my truth.
- Yeah, right.
- If we're honest with ourselves,
it makes me feel justified
in my shitty behavior.
- Yay.
- Yay.
- Yeah.
- Who was it?
Oh, do you remember Tom?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, so it was Tom.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live it.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Live your truth.
- Hit it and quit it. Live your truth.
