L: Wassup!
A:Ok, three, two, one
ALL: Hi!
A: Welcome to our Queer & A, my name’s Afrida
and my pronouns are she and her.
L: Hi, my name’s Liv and my pronouns are
she and her.
D: I’m Denby and my pronouns are she and her.
A: And we just wanted to wish you guys a happy
belated Pride Month - because of COVID-19,
we couldn’t link up in June, but we’re finally here.
D: I walked downstairs, threw my hair up in a messy bun, and my mum said "I’m selling you to Harry Styles."
L: [laughs]
A: We did just want to give you guys some advice that we wish we had gotten when we were younger.
We understand that our experiences aren’t universal -
D&L: Yes.
A: - first of all.
Yeah, and we hope that it really helps you
baby gays, seasoned gays, or even some of you allies.
ALL: [laughs]
A: Silence…
A: Say sorry, white people.
D&L: Sorry.
A: Thank you.
D: Disclaimer -
[laughs]
L: - disclaimer -
D: - I am sorry.
A: I didn’t have, like, a specific “aha!” moment. It was just more like, ever since I was a kid I’ve - always had this, like, feeling -
D: Valid.
A: - at the back - feeling that, you know, I’m like, hey, I don’t think I fit in, in more than one way, you know.
A: Cause like, especially when you’re growing up BPOC in Australia, like, hey.
A: Like, I started being exposed to like,
queer media, and like, gay characters on television and movies -
when I looked at them -
D: It helps, still.
L: It helps so much.
A: - I was like, hey, I somehow resonate with you, and I think it wasn’t until like, later in high school where I realised, like, this is why I resonate - because I feel seen.
L: Well, mine was Moonbyul from Mamamoo.
D: When?
L: Like, last year.
L:  I was just like, yeah - like, women. Yep.
OFFSCREEN: [weird noise]
D: I feel that.
ALL: [laughs]
D: There was a girl two grades above me in high school… that I thought was really cool. And then, my friend came out to me as bi, and I was like “Oh, that’s what that is!”
D: You know what. It’s a good origin story.
L: Yeah, it is a good origin story!
D: There’s not really, like, a set age that you need to realise, like, some people know when they’re kids, I figured it out when I was 14 -
L: I was 20.
D: Yep.
A: Some people go through whole ass marriages.
ALL: Yeah.
L: Which is like - doesn’t make you any
less queer.
ALL: [laughs]
D: Hello?
L: I never really came out, I never felt the
need to come out.
D: Yeah.
L: I feel like - I didn’t want to make it into a thing, and... I guess -
D: Which is fair enough, because it’s quite daunting.
L: It is daunting!
L: Yeah, and there was the question about, like, the right time to come out?
D: Oh, yeah.
A&L: There is no right time.
L: Like, just as long as you are safe, and
secure, and you are putting your safety first.
A: Unfortunately, that’s first priority.
D: Yeah. You may feel that you’re, like, comfortable coming out, but if you’re not in a safe situation, take care of yourself first.
D: It’s your own experience and you can choose to share it with who you want to, or you can
choose to keep it personal, because it’s different -
L: Yeah, exactly.
D: - for everyone.
D: You said something else before but I can’t
remember what it was and it sounded really smart!
ALL: Allies. [sarcastic]
L: From your perspective, like, it’s not about you.
D: It’s not your thing.
A: Never question a queer person’s decision
on how they came out to you or when they decided to come out to you, no matter how close you are to them.
A: The first thing you should assess is, 
you know, how can I make this a safer space for 
my friend going forward.
A: I guess, like, if someone comes out to you, like -
D: Don’t say I knew it!
A: Yeah. Don’t say that you knew it.
L: Pet peeve!
D: You didn’t know it!
A: Massive pet peeve.
L: You didn’t.
D: You stereotyped it!
L: You didn’t know shit!
D: [laughs]
A: You didn’t know shit!
D: You didn’t know shit!
A: Censor… [laughs]
A: First of all, coming out is my moment.
L: Yeah!
A: Not yours.
D: Yeah.
A: All you have to do as an ally, especially as a straight ally, is just be supportive, be appreciative, and that you can also keep that, like, confidential.
D&L: Yes!
L: Don’t out people.
D: Don’t - outing people is the worst thing you can do.
A: I guess, the thing is that you loved this person before they came out to you so what’s the reason for you to not love them now?
D: They haven’t changed, they’ve just told you something about them that you didn’t know beforehand.
L: Cause whether people are out to you or not, like, they’re still there and they -
D: Yeah. There are more of us than you think!
L: - hear what you say.
D: Do you think coming out whilst in school would have a negative reaction?
A: The three of us kind of grew up with, like,
a lot of queer friends.
D&L: Yes.
A: All of us were very closeted -
D&L: Mmm. [laughs]
A: - in high school.
A: We still had each other to rely on, and
like, in that way, like, we realise how privileged we are, because a lot of people don’t have that.
A: If your school is doing things to prove that they are against all sorts of bigotry and hatred, you’d have the support provided by teachers and professionals.
A: I wish I’d come out at school because
- you know, at school I’d be like “Hey there’s no one out, or anything -“
D: Yeah. Nobody. 
A: And then, now that I think about it, I could’ve been  that person.
D: There were just like - people that, like, -
L: We - yeah.
D: - we knew each other were gay, but it was all very under the radar.
L: Yeah, like, it wasn’t talked about.
D: It was like a secret society.
L: Yeah, it was!
A: Yeah, the groupchat!
ALL: Yeah! [laughs]
L: It felt like, it wasn’t open for discussion ever.
D: Yeah, or it wasn’t like, as important?
D: That would be the experience for a lot of
schools.
D: Like it’s just - gay people are like, an other, like - “yes, gay people have rights, but there’s no gay people here”, even though there are.
L: Yeah.
A: Schools should do more to actively facilitate discussions about queerness and LGBT groups - I know some schools have like, Gay-Straight Alliances and stuff.
D: Yes.
A: Don’t be afraid to call out your school’s passiveness and performativity because you deserve to be seen and heard and supported.
A: Let’s go to pronouns!
D&L: Yeah!
L: Just a disclaimer for like, anything we say about gender - we are all cis. So - we don’t speak for people who are transgender or non-binary.
D&L: Yeah, we’re coming from a -
D: Place of privilege -
L: Yeah.
D: And like, just allyship. Because queer peoples’ experiences are different based on their different, like, identities or relationships with gender and sexuality.
A: Yeah. And so as cisgendered people, we understand our privilege, and we know not to take this space and place to speak about experiences that aren’t our own.
L: Yes.
A: But also at the same time, don’t go hassling non-binary people.
L: Yeah, don’t do that!
D: Yeah, do your own research.
A: So, a question that I got was, “how do you respectfully ask for someone’s pronouns?” And the thing is -
L: It can be as easy as just saying, “Hey, what are your pronouns?”
A: Just be straight up about it. Hey -
D: Be respectful.
A: What are your preferred pronouns?
A: Yeah.
L: And if someone asks you, or like, tells you that 
they want to use different pronouns than they 
have been using -
A: Yeah!
L: Make an effort, like, make the - do the work.
A: We need to demystify -
D: Yeah, it needs to be normalised that you ask for people’s pronouns because you can’t tell someone’s gender or, like, identity experience by looking at them.
L: Mhm.
A: Yeah.
D: Also doing things like, um, cis people adding 
their pronouns to their bios on like, Instagram or 
Twitter or whatever.
L: To normalise it.
D: Deadnaming…
L: Don’t do it!
D: You need to take it upon yourself to like, educate yourself if you don’t understand pronouns other than the binary pronouns.
D: You need to make the effort to change your language.
A: Exactly.
L: And like, if you’re not sure whether or not something makes them uncomfortable, just ask, because -
A: There’s no harm in asking.
L: There’s no wrong -
A: But at the same time, don’t expect a response immediately because when it comes to explaining, it does take a lot of emotional labour.
L: Yes.
A: Whenever, like, the friend group uses the
wrong pronouns for that person, they do this activity where they all have to say three sentences using their new pronouns.
L: Awwww!
D: That’s so nice.
L: That’s awesome.
D: That’s really helpful, as well, because - 
L: That is really helpful!
D: - it helps saying things out loud.
L: Yeah.
D: It’s very hard to come to terms with, like,
your sexuality or gender identity and figure it out, so -
if somebody comes out multiple times as different things or realises that what they were identifying as before doesn’t actually fit them, that’s still valid.
L: Yeah.
D: Like, you can change pronouns, you can realise that your sexuality isn’t what it was, like - if that person tells you that they identify as something else now, be supportive.
L: I’ve been through like, three different
labels. Don’t worry about it.
A: Personally, I identify as queer.
L: Me too.
D: Bisexual!
L: The reason I use the queer label is mostly because I’ve gone through - I’ve tried a bunch of different labels and I’m still not 100%.
D: And that’s chill.
L: Yeah, as they apply to me, I’m not 100% sure, not 100% comfortable using the label right now, so I’m just saying I’m queer.
A: I’m on the side where I’m like, trying to reclaim that term.
L: Mmm.
D&L: Yep.
A: Because ‘queer’ has been used as a slur, or something derogatory, for a long time, whereas now, I think there’s a growing community of people who use the word queer.
D&L: Yeah.
A: Just - yeah. It just feels good, like - the vibes match.
D: I have like, friends, um, online and stuff, who aren’t comfortable with queer as an umbrella term, but like, that’s fine. It just depends on the person.
D: Another epic label is “sapphic”.
L: Sapphic! I say I’m sapphic.
D: We love that!
L: Yep.
D: Pretty sexy word.
L: It is a sexy word.
L: I guess just like, normalising, actually, kind of - the slow process of figuring things out.
I mean, it’s not always slow. But, for a lot of people, it is, like, a gradual… step by step sort of thing.
D: Yeah.
A: Labels come and go for a lot of people. Some people are comfortable with one label for the rest of their lives. Other people change all the time.
Some people don’t prefer a label at all,
which is good.
A: And then, we talk about…
A: Engage in queer culture and communities.
D: It helps a lot.
L: Mmm.
A: Yeah.
D: When you expose yourself to like, queer media, or characters -
A: We will insert a list of this media, somewhere.
L: Some of our favourite -
A: Booksmart?
L: Aw, that was such a good movie. I love that movie.
D: I still haven’t seen it!
OFFSCREEN: That was a really good movie.
A: Are you kidding me?
D: Do you guys listen to Girl in Red? No - [laughs]
A: Engage with, like, media that’s been created by queer people specifically.
D: Yes.
A: That stars queer people -
L: Yes.
A: Acting as queer people.
L: Yes.
A: Art’s always been a great way to connect to different communities.
L: Yep.
D: The more you’re exposed to it, the more 
it makes you feel comfortable.
L: Which is why representation -
D: Matters!
D: This is actually so good we did -
OFFSCREEN: [buzzer rings]
L: [softly] Bitch -
A: Queer people who are also part of other intersectionalities or marginalised communities, such as BIPOC queer people,
have experienced far greater difficulties when it’s come to like, queer representation and progress in society.
And so it’s always important to remember that elements of race, and then even sexism, disabilities, socioeconomic status, all factor into the queer experience.
L: Yep.
A: And so there are different, like, levels of privilege that does come with being queer.
D: And there’s nothing wrong with, like, acknowledging that and respecting people’s different experiences.
A: Yeah. Even being part of the LGBT+ community, you
can be complicit to other forms of oppression.
L: Yeah, 100%.
A: It’s like, heavily intertwined with supporting - especially, like, black communities, native communities, and also the transgender community.
L: Yes.
A: Because the pioneers of modern LGBT+ movements have been black, gay, transgender women. And so it’s really important to pay your respects to them.
A: Love you, Marsha.
L: If you look at the description, there’ll be plenty of links to resources that we recommend you, uh, take a look at.
L: Um… Anything else?
D: Bye.
A&D: [laugh]
A: Bye~
L: Later~
A&D: Thank you for watching!
L: Yeah, cheers!
A: [blows kiss]
L: Bye!
