.
>> TWEET IT AND I'LL FOLLOW YOU.
YOU LOOK VERY -- YOU NEVER 
REALLY AGE.
YOU'RE LIKE A SPONGEBOB 
SQUAREPANTS IN THAT WAY.
YOU ALWAYS LOOK THE SAME. 
>> I OFTEN GET MISTAKEN FOR 
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?
DO TELL, KEVIN. 
>> WELL, THANK YOU, FIRST OF 
ALL. 
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE WELCOME. 
>> I WOULD SAY THE SAME FOR YOU 
IF I COULD.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SURE, SURE.
NO YOU HOOK FANTASTIC. 
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU. 
>> YOU DO.
>> Jimmy: THANKS. 
>> STAY AWAY FROM SALT, I THINK 
THAT'S THE THING. 
>> Jimmy: SALT, REALLY?
>> THAT KIND OF MAKES YOU PUFFY.
>> Jimmy: DO YOU THINK?
DOES IT?
>> NOT ME, BUT YOU.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M SORRY. 
>> Jimmy: YOU'RE RIGHT, I DO EAT
A LOT OF SALT. 
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I ASKED CARL 
REINER ONCE, HE'S 95, OR 93.
WHAT'S THE LIKE BEING AT THIS 
AGE?
WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE?
HE GOES, YOU GOT TO STAY AWAY 
FROM SALT.
AND I LOVE POPCORN.
I LOVE TO EAT POPCORN.
YOU EVER BEEN AT SOMEBODY'S 
HOUSE EATING POPCORN AND START 
WONDERING IF THE POPCORN BOWL IS
ALSO THEIR THROW-UP BOWL?
[ LAUGHTER ]
BECAUSE IT IS AT OUR HOUSE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YES, IT IS.
>> Jimmy: IT IS AT MY HOUSE TOO.
>> JUST LIKE A -- 
>> Jimmy: 100%. 
>> A LOT OF THE CEREAL BOWLS AS 
WELL.
IF YOU COME TO OUR HOUSE FOR 
BREAKFAST, I WOULD SUGGEST THE 
EGGS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: THAT IS VERY TRUE. 
>> YEAH. 
>> Jimmy: MY DAUGHTER WAS SICK 
LAST WEEK AND SURE ENOUGH, THE 
POPCORN BOWL.
NEVER CROSSED MY MIND THAT MAYBE
THAT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE.
WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO, HAVE
A DESIGNATED BOWL FOR VOMIT?
I DON'T THINK SO. 
>> I WOULD SUGGEST TAKING THE 
POPCORN OUT OF THE BOWL FIRST, 
THOUGH.
BECAUSE IT MAKES IT SOGGY. 
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A VERY GOOD 
SUGGESTION.
>> I'M ALSO A VEGETARIAN.
>> Jimmy: YES.
ARE YOU A VEGETARIAN OR VEGAN?
>> I'M NOT EVEN REALLY A 
VEGETARIAN.
OCCASIONALLY -- NO, NO.
MOST OF THE TIME I AM.
BUT OCCASIONALLY I WILL HAVE 
FISH.
BUT IT'S GOT TO BE A SPECIFIC 
FISH.
YOU KNOW, IT'S GOT TO BE WILD 
SALMON.
>> Jimmy: OH. 
>> IT'S GOT TO BE CAUGHT IN THE 
BIG RIVER IN MONTANA.
AND IT'S GOT TO BE BEAR CAUGHT.
CAUGHT BY A BEAR. 
>> Jimmy: CAUGHT BY A BEAR, OH. 
>> YEAH.
WELL, YOU SAY MAYBE THAT'S GREAT
BUT HOW DO YOU GET THE FISH OUT 
OF THE BEAR'S MOUTH?
>> Jimmy: YEAH, YEAH. 
>> THAT'S A FAIR ENOUGH 
QUESTION. 
>> Jimmy: UH-HUH. 
>> WHAT I DO, JIMMY, I WILL 
SNEAK UP BEHIND THE BEAR.
AND I WILL TICKLE THE BEAR UNDER
THE ARMS.
THE BEAR LAUGHS.
I GRAB THE FISH.
HIGH TAIL IT HOME.
IT'S BEAR TO TABLE FISH. 
>> Jimmy: OH, WOW.
THAT'S AMAZING.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> YES. 
>> Jimmy: I DON'T THINK THERE 
ARE SALMON IN MONTANA. 
>> YES. 
>> Jimmy: SO IT'S ESPECIALLY 
AMAZING. 
>> IT'S THE BEST SALMON, 
ACTUALLY.
IT'S ATLANTIC SALMON. 
>> Jimmy: DO YOU WORK OUT?
ON A WORKOUT SCHEDULE?
>> AGAIN, THANK YOU, JIMMY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
NO, I DON'T REALLY WORK OUT 
ANYMORE.
I WALK A LOT.
I HIKERY I TRY TO GET STEPS.
I HAVE A FIT BIT. 
>> Jimmy: YOU DO. 
>> I FINALLY GOT ONE OF THESE 
THINGS.
LAST WEEK I WENT HORSEBACK 
RIDING, I GOT 195,000 STEPS IN A
HALF HOUR.
YEAH.
I TOOK THE REST OF THE WEEK OFF.
I DIDN'T HAVE TO WEIGH IN, I 
JUST SAT IN THE CHAIR LIKE THIS.
>> Jimmy: SO IT'S DEFINITELY 
WORKING.
I THINK YOUR PARENTS, THEY ALSO 
ARE VERY YOUTHFUL.
IS IT LIKE A --
>> MY PARENTS ARE 15.
YEAH.
>> Jimmy: THAT WAS SURPRISING TO
ME ALSO.
YEAH.
>> I DO HAVE GOOD GENES, I 
THINK.
AND MY MOTHER SOUNDS VERY YOUNG 
ON THE PHONE TOO.
IF YOU WERE TALKING TO HER YOU'D
THINK SHE WAS IN HER 30s OR 40s.
>> Jimmy: I WONDER WHY THAT IS. 
>> AT&T.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: IT'S A SERVICE?
>> THEY HAVE A SERVICE, YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED 
THAT.
IN FACT, I DID ONE OF THOSE 
GENETIC THINGS.
YOU CAN SEND AWAY, 23 AND ME. 
>> Jimmy: I'VE DONE THAT, YEAH. 
>> YOU HAVE, YEAH.
IT'S INTERESTING, ISN'T IT?
>> Jimmy: IT IS, YEAH. 
>> SO I WANTED TO FIND OUT ABOUT
MY ANCESTORS AND GENETICS.
AND MAYBE POSSIBLE DISEASES I 
MIGHT GET.
AND PEOPLE SWEAR BY THIS 
PARTICULAR COMPANY.
THEY DO THESE TESTIMONIES.
I SAW ONE GUY GET ON.
HE GOES, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, 
I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE, MY 
FAMILY, WERE ALL FROM NORWAY.
THAT PART OF THE WORLD.
BUT TURNS OUT WE'RE 100% BLACK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
100% BLACK.
>> Jimmy: NO, THAT SURPRISED 
THEM?
>> YEAH. 
>> Jimmy: DID YOU HAVE ANY 
SURPRISES IN YOURS?
>> IT'S $90, FIRST OF ALL, FOR 
THE WHOLE THING.
AND I WAS VERY EXCITED TO GET 
IT.
AND I WAITED.
AND IT FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL.
I WENT OUT TO THE MAILBOX TO GET
IT.
WHAT HAPPENS IS IT COMES IN A 
LITTLE VIAL LIKE A TEST TUBE, 
YOU SPIT IN THERE SEAL IT, SEND 
IT BACK.
FIVE WEEKS LATER THEY TELL YOU 
ALL ABOUT YOUR ANCESTORS.
SO I'M GOING OUT TO THE MAILBOX 
TO GET IT, SO EXCITED.
I'M GOING TO DROP IT OFF.
I NOTICE SOMEBODY HAD SPIT ON MY
CAR WIND SHIELD ON THE WAY OUT.
I WAS LIVID, YOU KNOW HOW I GET.
>> Jimmy: NOBODY GETS CRAZIER 
ABOUT THEIR WINDSHIELD THAN YOU.
>> I THOUGHT, WHO WOULD SPIT ON 
MY WINDSHIELD?
WHO WOULD HAVE THE AUDACITY TO 
DO THAT?
I THOUGHT, FOR $90 I'M GOING TO 
FIND OUT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M GOING TO FIND OUT.
SO WHAT I DID WAS, I OPEN UP THE
VIAL, THE LITTLE TEST TUBE, I 
COLLECTED THE SPIT OFF THE 
WINDSHIELD, RUBBER GLOVES.
I PUT IT IN THERE.
SEAL IT, SENT IT AWAY.
AND I WAITED.
I WAITED ALMOST FIVE WEEKS.
AND I WAS GOING TO -- WHOEVER 
DID THAT I WAS GOING TO KILL.
I WAS GOING TO KILL HIM AND HIS 
AN SISTER SOARS, HIS WHOLE 
FAMILY, EVERYBODY.
IT FINALLY CAME BACK, THEY 
E-MAIL IT TO YOU.
IT TURNS OUT IT WAS BIRD CRAP.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT THEY FOUND OUT THE BIRD CRAP
ORIGINATED FROM A SEAGULL.
FROM THE LOWER PART OF THE 
SEAGULL.
SPECIFICALLY THE BUTT.
AND THEY WENT EVEN FURTHER TO 
TELL ME THAT THE CRAP WAS 80% 
CRAB MEAT.
AND 20% GARBAGE FROM THE 
DUMPSTER. 
>> Jimmy: UNBELIEVABLE. 
>> UNBELIEVABLE. 
>> Jimmy: IT'S INCREDIBLE WHAT 
THESE SCIENTISTS KNOW.
>> UNBELIEVABLE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: THE SHOW IS "MAN WITH 
A PLAN."
IT'S MONDAY NIGHTS, 8:30 ON CBS.
AND YOU CAN SEE KEVIN LIVE AND 
IN PERSON.
THIS IS QUITE A GIG YOU GOT.
MAY 5th, CINCO DE MAYO AT TH
