 
I know it’s our first date, but...
Do you want to, like,
come inside, for...
 
Coffee?
 
Coffee...
 
Oh, yes! Yeah!
 
Why don’t you wait here,
 
and I’m going to freshen up!
 
For coffee.
- For coffee, yeah. Great!
- Yeah.
 
Okay. See you in a sec!
Dad! Yeah, hi.
It’s me, Julian.
Listen, I’m about
to have sex with a...
 
With a girl.
 
Goldfish have sex.
And you are at least
twice as smart as them.
 
Okay?
 
How long is foreplay?
 
What? Mom’s there?
Dad, hang up!
I phoned you!
 
I gotta go.
 
Hey there!
 
You sexy, sexy...
 
Possum.
 
Hey there... possum.
Why don’t you come on
over here and you can...
 
You can dingle my dongle.
 
Dingle your dongle?
 
Yeah.
Watch out,
cause I’m coming in hot!
 
Yes! It’s so hot!
 
Ow!
 
Do I smell?
Oh, no! Not at all!
I just...
 
Listen, I am...
I know I might seem
really experienced in all of this,
and I act really experienced,
but I’ve never...
 
Had coffee before.
 
Oh my God, Julian...
 
Me neither!
- Really?
- And I’ve never had sex.
I don’t know if you can tell,
but I’m like...
 
I’m like really nervous.
 
No, I couldn’t even tell.
 
Maybe, though, we can...
 
Just take this slow?
 
Yeah.
 
Great.
- Sorry, Son.
- Oops! Okay!
 
Wrong number, stranger!
 
Have fun, Shnookie Pookie!
 
Shnookie Pookie?
 
Shnookie Pookie.
 
That’s hot!
The term “performance” is
generally used to describe
 
a sporting or artistic feat.
Strangely, the word
is also often used
when talking about
sexual relations.
Of course, everybody wants
to have fun experiences,
but believing that you have to
“perform” during sex
 
creates a lot of pressure.
This pressure to perform
may lead to a fear
 
of not being “good enough”.
 Sexuality contains
its share of unknowns,
especially during
“first” experiences.
It’s often hard to predict
how things will unfold.
Looking for references
or guidance
to prepare or reassure
yourself is normal.
 
But, rather than help,
some information
can add pressure
and cause
performance anxiety.
Porn can give the impression
that “good” sex
means engaging
in specific sexual acts
or experiencing orgasm
and pleasure in certain ways.
Sex shouldn’t feel
like a “To do list”
Ideally, moments
of sexual intimacy
should feel natural and connecting
for both partners.
 
If you feel anxiety, 
there are things that
can be done to reduce it.
First, refocus on
what’s really important.
Usually, the purpose
of engaging in sexual activities
is not to impress
your partner
but to feel closer
to her, him, or them.
Keeping that in mind
can help reduce stress.
Another tip is
choosing a partner
who makes you feel
comfortable.
Being with someone
who doesn’t judge your choices
 
but respects them
makes it easier to deal
with stressful situations.
The best way to make sure
you have a good time
is to listen to your feelings
and those of your partner
and not be afraid to
communicate your preferences.
 
Each person is different! 
In short, there are various ways
to mitigate performance anxiety.
Over time, the pressure
might decrease,
and make it easier
to be in the moment
and focus on
what you’re feeling.
Of course there was
pressure to perform, but...
My partners have always
been reasonable, so...
They’ve always managed
their expectations.
 
I think I’m often nervous
or worried about
performing during sex.
 
I always ask if it’s okay,
if there’s something
I should change,
or maybe something
we should try.
Am I going to
finish too short?
Or am I even going
to be too nervous
and not get
an erection at all?
I was so worried about
being a bad kisser.
I was like, oh!
I don’t know what...
I think everyone else
has got a leg up on me.
It’s almost like
a sport, sometimes.
You have to make sure
that you have a solid start,
 
and a solid ending.
And yeah! There can be
a lot of pressure to do it well.
I felt the need to perform
in multiple ways,
 
including faking orgasms.
A lot of people feel
very insecure about it,
just because of the nature
of how personal sex is.
I could definitely see some
people being a bit stressed
or a bit worried about
how they may perform.
 
Just because...
It seems that’s a very important
factor in the way we view sex.
I think that
performance in sex
is something that is
portrayed in social media.
You can’t expect it to be
what you see online.
People look at porn and
that’s how they expect sex to be.
You have those
standards in your mind,
to comply and do exactly
the same thing as those,
which sets
unrealistic standards.
 
And that puts pressure
on the person performing
the sexual act
and the person
receiving that act.
Any time that I would lack
in performance, personally,
I’d be scared about people
talking about me afterwards.
 
I would be worried to not...
Not be up to
their expectations.
I want to be able to give as much
as the other person gives to me.
So if I think that
I am not doing that,
I get stressed out.
And then...
 
It’s just not as good.
I think the trick to making it work
is just to have fun with it.
Make sure to be talking,
to be open,
have a little laugh
here and there...
A sense of humor can
definitely help with sex.
 
It’s like, oh!
I don’t know if I’m gonna
get it up this time.
I think being comfortable
with our partners
can help reduce
pressure during sex.
After all, sex is fun.
It should be enjoyable.
Just check in
once in a while
and make sure everyone’s
on the same page and having fun.
I think it’s always important
to continuously check in,
because our needs
and wants will also shift.
And if you communicate
with your partner
and find out what they like
and tell them what you like,
you can both be good
at sex for one another.
