

The Disconnectionist

**By** **James** **S.** **Hudson**

Copyright 2011 James S. Hudson

Smashwords Edition

www.disconnectionist.com

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Chapter 1

Cade did not reach enlightenment in the usual way, through meditation or chanting. Instead, he found that most profound insight in a hail of bullets. His Masters had killed men that day.

While leading some of their students to the nearest village, the Masters had surprised some marauding Hedonan troops, then butchered them. Cade had felt the same terror as the dying men, watching the Masters weave from the path of bullets before the triggers were pulled. From that day, his life had been haunted by the beauty and power of the Masters' death-dance.

Cade fingered the scar at the base of his skull, remembering the grating of the drill against his bone. His exposed brain was just below the skin, waiting to receive the metal sliver which would make him a Master. One day, Cade thought, one day, I'll be one of them.
Chapter 2

Cade crouched on top of the orchard wall. The air was dense with the perfume of fruit blossoms. The hooting of a night bird echoed up and down the valley. He shivered, but not just because of the icy mountain air. He knew how hard a thrashing could be for stealing. Yet, the riskier the mission, the more delicious the fruit.

Spread out below him, his Monastery home was a rambling fortress wedged into a ravine. In the gloom, the buildings looked like a cluster of rafts, with two enormous mountains looming like tidal waves on each side, frozen at the moment of breaking.

Further down the valley he could see the firelight of the village Safekeep, and far beyond, the bottom of the valley flattened out into the Plains, which stretched to the horizon. In the middle of the Plains, electric lights glittered like a pile of fallen stars: the city of Hedona. To the right of it was the moon-silvered ocean, and to the left, true to their name, the uninhabitable Darklands were like a pool of black ink spilled over the Plain.

Down there, Lendora's stories of Hedona were being played out. For as long as Cade could remember, her lessons had heaped fuel on the fires of his nightmares. He could sense thousands of bloodthirsty Hedonan soldiers out there, lurking just beyond the shadows.

Cade trusted his weight to the creaking limb of a peach tree. The tree drooped under an obscene weight of fruit. The Novices hardly ever got fruit, but so much was dissolving into a worm-eaten mush beneath the trees! It was a worse crime _not_ to take it. He jumped down and began plucking fruit and dropping it into a fold of his cloak.

Something whistled past Cade's ear, striking a peach from his grasp and stinging his fingers. He dropped the hem of his cloak and the fruit bounced around him. A hard wooden staff pressed across his chest, stopping his breathing. He looked from its glinting metal tip to the hooded figure who held it. Only one person could swing a heavy battle staff with such precision.

"Malcott?" Cade said, his voice failing.

"What you are doing here? I was about to knock your brains out." He pushed the hood from his face. His expression was a glowering battle-mask that would have sent Hedonan troops into a panic. Cade felt the heat rising to his face. He would have preferred a beating from any other Master to being caught by Malcott.

"I'm sorry Master, the food is so bad here..."

"You are stealing fruit? What am I supposed to do with you? I should thrash you until you bleed."

"I didn't think anybody would care," Cade said, fighting back tears that made his eyes swim.

"You should care! Masters must trust each other. Masters are not thieves. At this rate you will never become one!" he said, the staff quivering with barely-controlled anger. "Your rations will be halved for a week. Maybe you will appreciate Monastery food better on an empty stomach!"

"Yes Master," Cade mumbled. He found it impossible to lift his head and meet the man's eyes. He wished he'd stayed warm in bed – stealing fruit seemed like a stupid, childish prank now.

"Believe me, I hate dealing punishment more than you hate receiving it."

Master Malcott reached behind his head as if scratching the nape of his neck, then dropped his hand. So that was how he caught me, Cade thought. He had his brain-pin Activated!

As if he was still Connected and reading Cade's thoughts, Malcott continued. "I was on sentry duty. You were pumping out nervous energy like a murderer. Animal emotions betrayed you: hunger and fear. You would do well to control both."

"Yes, Master."

"Now get back to bed. And drop the rest of the fruit you're hiding!"

Guilty to the end, Cade threw down the fruit and fled through the silent Monastery to the barracks. He eased the door open and peered inside. The other Novices were inert and the sounds of their breathing filled the warm, stale air. Cade tiptoed between the beds and crawled between his chilly blankets.

"How did it go?" came a whisper from the next bed. His friend Nathan's eyes glittered with expectation in the moonlight.

"I got caught," whispered Cade.

Nathan huffed. "I told you so! If you'd let me go instead, we'd be eating peaches right now."

"I'd like to see you get past Malcott with his brain-pin Activated."

Nathan sucked air through his teeth. "He just happened to be Activated in the middle of the night? I don't believe you! He must have heard you - you make more noise than a drunken horse in a field of bottles."

"But Malcott Connects all the time - a lot more than any of the other Masters."

"At least it _was_ Malcott who caught you. Everyone knows you're his favourite."

"He can like me as much as he wants, as long as I keep getting off lightly," As soon as he said them, Cade wished he could take back his traitorous words. He valued Malcott's friendship more than anything else. "Anyway, I bet that ten years ago, Malcott would have been the one caught with a cloak full of fruit. Now shut up - we'll get in trouble for talking!"

Cade gathered the thin blanket about him and buried his head in the pillow. He lay awake, listening to the reassuring whisper of breathing around him. What Malcott had said was worse than any beating. What if Malcott was right, that he wasn't good enough to be a Master? After all, he had been rejected by the priesthood at first. He had been found one spring morning, abandoned outside the main gates, most likely by a whore or young farm girl. Nobody knew who his parents were; his bornware was likely to be diluted beyond usefulness. It had been Malcott who had noticed his potential, who had taken him to the barracks to wash the dirt from his face and exchanged his threadbare work clothes for the brown robes of a Novice.

Cade promised himself he would never steal again, and the night's events became nothing more than an unpleasant dream before a profound and peaceful sleep.
Chapter 3

Within the bowels of the Nearside district of Hedona, Nadina was preparing to go out.

Like most of Hedona, the Nearside apartments were concrete ruins, slowly disintegrating into rubble and rusty iron skeletons. The structures reached upwards from the horizon like the fingers of drowning men.

In Nadina's apartment, a single light-bulb glowed with a seamy, brownish light. A large bed took up most of the space in the middle of the room: she'd had to move it away from the walls after the neighbours complained about the noise.

She swished her hair into a tail and applied a smear of lipstick. She smacked her lips and checked her teeth in the full-length mirror for red stains. The second, diminutive row of teeth behind the first was a reminder of her family heritage. Her parents were Feeders, who ate uncontrollably.

She stooped to pull on her leather boots - the most expensive and cherished items in her wardrobe. She wore a tight green shirt and faded jeans. She didn't spend too much time on her appearance – she was almost pretty, definitely attractive, but far from beautiful. And besides, everyone knew that the most pristine beauties were usually the worst in bed: they were too lazy, too confident that others would rush to please them.

She picked up the folded note that had been jammed under the door while she was napping. Not a noise complaint, but a date, time, and two addresses. The first address was a bar where she would find her target for the night; the second would be the hotel room where he would meet his end.

She would try to find the target, swell his pride with drinks and flattery, then coax him to the second address with unspoken promises. If she succeeded, she would find a few hundred dollars in an envelope under her door the next day. Would he open the hotel door to be perforated with bullets, or be abducted and taken elsewhere? She didn't care, as long as she got paid – it was good to benefit from her habit of always managing to pick up the wrong sort of men.

She shouldered her handbag and removed a large, snub-nosed revolver from it. She broke it open, checked that it was loaded, snapped it shut and dropped it into the bag. She paused at the open door and ran her eyes over the den.

Her allowance was so meagre that she couldn't afford a proper apartment, even with her irregular work. It wasn't her fault that she was in this situation, that she was different from her family. The specialists called it "recessive bornware", an unlucky toss of the genetic dice. Nadina didn't think it unlucky – she was glad she was bred for something that made her fit and popular instead.

The lift button failed to respond to her hammering so she took the stairs. Her brisk steps clattered as she hurried down. A bassline womped from somewhere below - either from the club next door, or a neighbour's party. She stepped into the dark street and almost gagged at the chemical stench of burning rubbish. It was always worse on warm summer nights, when the fumes hung over the city like a putrid blanket, without any breeze to clear it away. It felt like the insides of her lungs were peeling.

Nearside had once been a rich area. A neighbour had told her that a previous mayor had skimmed so much money from security payments that the area's security forces had abandoned the contract. The gangs had moved in and turned the area into a battleground, doing great services for low-income housing availability and eventually imposing their own order. The drug users, music addicts, and other outcasts whose natural and unnatural desires drove them to find others of their kind, all found their home in Nearside. Nadina strode into the night, joining the bustle of the city's footpaths.

The bar was several blocks away from the heart of the city. It was in a wealthier area, where the piles of rubbish were removed more regularly and the graffiti was less explicit and more pleasing to the eye. Nadina acknowledged the bar's door guard with a nod. When the door closed, cutting off the clamour of the street, the contrast was immediate. The odour of alcohol fought with that of expensive perfume. Nadina hated these places. She knew the naked insecurities that hid behind the fashionable clothes and façades of power. These people were scared, vulnerable children, playing dress-ups to try and fool the world into thinking they were adults.

Nadina was so good at her job that her contacts didn't need to supply a name or description of her targets. His air of hunched brutishness betrayed his profession. A soldier, definitely, and high-ranking. Her gaze flitted over the other patrons. One man talked rapidly and gestured enthusiastically to a woman. He might have been an old casual lover, but absorbed in his current conquest, he was oblivious to her. Nadina approached the officer and slipped into her familiar role.
Chapter 4

At breakfast, Cade stared at the tiny ladleful of gruel in his bowl. It seemed too small to even reach his stomach.

The great dining hall was built from immense logs, cracked with age and blackened by generations of candle-soot. The hall was large enough for the hundred or so Novices and Masters, who sat at tables which stretched the length of the hall. Chatter and the scraping of spoons in bowls filled the air.

Cade was sullen at the thought of facing the day with a growling belly. He was tough in every other respect. Every day, his body was smashed with wooden training weapons and hardened to insensitivity by Monastery life. But Master Malcott knew him well enough to punish him where he was weakest.

Cade had picked every fleck of grain from his bowl long before the other Novices started clearing the tables. When the clattering and conversation faded to silence, the Novices settled on their bench seats in preparation for the morning's meditation. A reverential silence descended upon the hall.

Great Master, the head priest of the Monastery, perched at the head of the table like a bony vulture in Master's robes. He cleared his throat and his slow, precise words reverberated in the hall. "Today we will cast away our individual thoughts and bathe in the great spring of life which Connects every being." He pressed the tips of his fingers together in an arch.

Cade shut his eyes and sunk into the state of meditation, which came as naturally as sleep. The words of Great Master dropped one by one beneath the surface of his mind, like stones into a deep pool. The distinctions between the edges of his own being and the rest of the world blurred, like an ink drawing dipped into water.

"Connection is the empty space between the notes of a song," the droning voice continued. "It is the dancer's pause as they contemplate their next step." Throughout his life, Cade had found meditation easier and easier to slip into, until it had become a reflexive shield against the ignorance that ruled life outside the Monastery. Still, he often found himself straying from the path, often realising that for hours he'd done nothing but daydream of fruit or honey. Or girl Novices. _Stop!_ Those fantasies were dangerous and could not be exposed to the Connection with so many Masters around.

After what seemed only a moment, Great Master roused them. "Now, you will remember the state you are in. Whenever the world threatens to disrupt your Reason with its petty demands, you will feel as you do now."

Cade swam up from the depths of meditation and burst into the world of sensation, as though he had just surfaced from a mountain stream.

"As you return to the world, you will find your body full of vitality, ready to serve a clear mind."

Cade flexed his fingers and breathed in deeply. He looked up and caught the eyes of Nathan and saw his own feelings mirrored in them. They both smiled. In the moments after meditation, their rivalry was quenched by their friendship and shared wisdom.

Outside the Monastery, other people had families, sweethearts, food, gossip, dances and every other competing diversion from the deeper mysteries. Despite the harsh life within the Monastery, none of these could give him as much contentment and happiness as he felt now.

The grass between the Monastery buildings was a luminous green and tiny white flowers hid within it, radiant and clean, as if they had just pushed up from the earth. When he reached the musty old wooden teaching hut, his eyes needed a few moments to adjust to the gloom inside.

After a few minutes of sitting in the stuffy room, the euphoria of the meditation faded. The air was sticky with the scent of unwashed bodies and the uneven floorboards ground at the knobs of his ankle bones.

Malcott gave no sign that their encounter in the orchard had occurred. He sat cross-legged before the dozen brown-robed Novices. Today they were discussing the history of biology. Malcott made the old evolution stories come alive. Cade could almost see the slimy creatures squirming out of the sea, growing legs, and conquering the land. As Malcott spoke, the Novices' shaved heads nodded diligently. Occasionally, a Novice would interrupt with whatever sprung to their mind and Malcott would pause, then provide a response. The functioning of the Monastery required many minds working in unison, and this was reflected in this teaching style. Malcott spoke in a monotone - part story, part chant.

"Contemplate for long enough and one realises that others are as important as oneself. This leads to good actions and the flourishing of the world."

"However, if you turn your back on Reason you are playing by the cruel old rules of nature - that only the fittest survive. Your awareness of your impending death will grow. You will hurt and reject everything around you as you flee from imaginary fears. Once you have drifted away from the great convoy of life, you will be adrift, alone, lost at sea."

It was true - many people did drift as if they were boats with broken rudders. _That_ _was_ _it._ _Like_ _boats_ _drifting_ _towards_ _a_ _waterfall._ Cade took a breath and waited for a gap in Malcott's story, then spoke these thoughts clearly and slowly. Malcott paused and nodded, a look of approval in his eyes.

"Thank you, Cade. Indeed, the Monastery, if nothing else, shows us a clear path through life" Malcott settled himself more comfortably on his legs, preparing for the long tale. "Long before the Nuclear War, there was a single species of human. This was an animal part-evolved, ruled by the conflicting laws of nature and reason, yet unable to abide by either. A stranger amongst the other animals, humans were driven to create their own world. Technology was the air, water, and earth of this new land."

Cade spoke again. This was his favourite subject and his words flowed freely. "And then Man became Man of Man's own creation. The artefacts and machines of his world, he twisted into his own double-spiral bornware, absorbing the metal children of his Reason into his own flesh and blood."

"And where once all men were created equal, the one human race became many."

Cade glanced at Nathan, straight-backed and attentive in the row in front of him. Once the lesson turned to the different races, Nathan would be bursting to list the most spectacular categories of human. As expected, he initiated the recital.

"The Batteries, who drained lightning and drank the sun. The Enforcers, with skin stronger than iron, who tore evildoers apart with their bare hands and summoned death from the skies!"

Cade interrupted. "You make them sound like the old gods – smiting and vindictive! What use is a powerful body without a mind to go with it?"

"Well, if you are such an expert, Cade," said Malcott, annoyed by the interruption, but glad that his lesson was stoking some lively discussion. "Why don't you finish?"

Nathan stole a look at him and mouthed Malcott's last words mockingly. Cade spoke, undistracted. "The Memorist, who could recite every word of every book ever written, who bound his triumphs, failures, and discoveries into his bornware, to be passed through the generations."

Nathan said loudly, as if reading, "The Connectionist, who shared the thoughts of all as one mind and shared the wisdom of all. The creators of the same brain-pins that we have today."

Malcott cleared his throat. "There were many branches of the human race. The lesser races below the Connectionists quarrelled. Their greater power only gave greater expression to their destructive animal natures, and the Nuclear War destroyed their civilisations."

"Cade," he said, warning the boy that his knowledge was about to be tested - he wasn't going to let either of them commandeer his lesson without putting them in their place. "The old races are natural history. What of the new? The one that rules our world?"

"The Connection priests," said Cade. "The brain-pin gives us the greatest power." It was a safe answer.

"Well," Malcott said, "if we are so mighty, why are we hiding up in the mountains? Who keeps us up here?"

"The Hedonans?" Cade cast around for an answer. "But they are just animals!"

"Why do you call your fellow humans animals?"

Cade stayed silent. He should never have spoken up before – the whole class would be laughing inside now. Malcott continued. "The Hedonans have no drive towards self-improvement and progress. But the Hedonans carry on the bulk of the lineage of the great races, and although repulsive and crude, they can never be called animals."

Malcott talked about all the human species: how the priesthood knew of their powers, and which mutated forms could still be found. His voice blurred. These formal lessons didn't allow Malcott to bring much of his natural enthusiasm to the teachings. Cade took a deep breath and tried to sit straighter. There would be no food until midday and that ration would probably be halved too.

"And this concludes today's lesson," Malcott said, uncrossing his legs and arching his back as he stood.

The Novices stirred and stretched, eager to escape the room. Cade couldn't get out into the sunshine fast enough. Nathan was trying to start a conversation with him, something about steel skin and thunderbolts, but Cade wasn't in the mood for talk. _Maybe_ _I_ _could_ _swap_ _an_ _hour_ _'_ _s_ _cleaning_ _duty_ _for_ _a_ _bag_ _of_ _raisins_ _or_ _dried_ _fruit?_ he thought. _Nathan_ _always_ _has_ _food_ _hidden._

The Novices gathered in the central square for combat training, in the shadow of the great fort. The square was paved with stone, whose uneven surface had caught the toes and scarred the knees of generations of fighters. Lance was their tutor. They found the scarred veteran waiting for them, leaning on his blunt training sword.

"Disciples!" Lance spoke in his gravely voice, silencing the Novices' chatter. "As you all know, we destroyed a band of Hedonans recently, a reminder of the very real dangers right outside our walls. Looking at you, I don't see warriors who would bury their blade in the skull of a Hedonan. I see children. Today I would like you to spar as if you are fighting real enemies, because in a year or so, that's what you will be doing." He rapped the tip of his sword against the stones to emphasise the sentence. "So, fight hard today, but fight with restraint and respect for your opponent."

Like most of the Novices, Cade trained with the staff. The metal-tipped wooden rod lacked the offensive capabilities of a sword, but it was formidable if wielded with skill - Malcott was so adept with it that it was his weapon of choice. Also, Cade's hands were not steady enough for him to receive firearms training - good weapons and ammunition were expensive. More importantly, a large army of modern fighters was a threat that the Hedonans would not tolerate for long. It was crucial that the Monastery appeared weak enough to escape the notice of their infinitely more powerful Hedonan neighbours.

Cade stretched, grasping his hands behind his back and straining upwards. He whirled his staff around his body, transferring the momentum smoothly from hand to hand, winding its deadly arc all about his body until the air hummed.

Lance called out pairs of Novices one by one, matching boys with girls, young with older, fast with slow, according to some unfathomable scheme of his own. Each pair sought a clear space in the training arena.

"Cade and Nathan!" the veteran called.

Cade's skin prickled at the thought of the ensuing battle. Nathan's reach, speed, and aggression made him a perfectly matched opponent. Cade set his feet apart in a fighting stance and resettled his grip on his staff, crossing it with Nathan's. The other boy's dark eyes sought to unsettle him, but Cade was invincible today. Now that his heart was pounding in his ears, the lack of food sharpened his awareness and his feet felt light. Perhaps eating less before weapons training could improve his skills? It would be tough, but he knew that his appetite was a weakness that he should hammer out.

His awareness snapped to the present as Nathan shoved him roughly with his staff. Cade circled his opponent, just within striking range, keeping his staff lowered. Nathan swayed in a low crouch, coiled like a spring. Where would the first blow land - with a skull-cracking downwards swipe, or a bruising lunge into his guts? Cade's staff trembled as he anticipated a dozen possible attacks. Nathan was biding his time and forcing him to make the first reckless move. Well, he would. Malcott had showed him the "Striking Snake" attack yesterday and Cade was aching to use it. With a snap of his wrists he shot the staff through his hands towards his opponent and caught him a glancing blow on the shoulder. It startled Nathan so much that he stumbled backwards. He lashed out, infuriated. Cade found himself holding the staff by one metal end like a barge pole and he used the added range to keep the other boy at bay. Still, Nathan wove in close to him, striking blow after blow, forcing him to retreat. He made a few jarring strikes to Cade's arms. Cade quickly matched his flow and soon every swing and stab of Nathan's staff met resistance. Cade yielded step by step, like a heavy rock being pushed up a hill. Within a few heartbeats, Nathan was putting all his weight into driving Cade backwards. Instantly collapsing his guard, Cade whirled and was behind his opponent. Nathan stumbled to the ground, propelled into the dust by Cade's staff across his shoulders.

"A small force applied in the right place can divert a much larger one!" Cade smiled, but realised as he spoke that it sounded like gloating.

Nathan accepted the hand that Cade offered. He rose shakily to his feet and glanced furtively towards the instructor. Blinding pain exploded in the centre of Cade's face. It took him a heartbeat to realise that he'd received a vicious head-butt to the nose. The maliciousness of the attack stunned him more than the blow. Nathan followed on instantly, repeatedly smashing him about the ribs. Choking on blood and spit, Cade gave ground and held him back, pushing aside the pain until it was something that he was aware of, without it dominating his mind. His mind floated free, as if he had been flung into the depths of meditation.

The blow must have stunned him, because his thoughts seemed confused with his vision. He saw the intention of every blow as a stream of force, like ribbons floating in a breeze. He twisted about to avoid them, marvelling at the sensation. He summoned his own force and drove it spiralling into the centre of Nathan's flowing ribbons. They exploded into fragments and he was standing over Nathan, with his staff hanging loosely from his grip. The other boy was curled on the ground, a trickle of his bloody saliva pooling in the dirt as he groaned. Cade looked up at the stunned circle of Novices surrounding him.

"Stop!" Lance yelled behind him.

The pain from the battering he'd received was almost pleasant, like warm waves rippling through his body. His sight wavered and blurred as if he was underwater, and he leaned on his staff as the world rolled about him. Lance helped Nathan hobble to a wooden bench by the side of the square, before giving him a reassuring slap on the back. He approached Cade and the Novices who encircled them melted away under his stern glare.

"Are you alright?" he asked gruffly, his grizzled face filling Cade's vision.

"I don't know. He hit me in the face and then, I don't know..."

"You might not be such a great sop as I thought. Try not to get so carried away next time. And visit the infirmary. You're going to have a fine pair of black eyes tomorrow!"

Lance turned abruptly on his heel and addressed the class, who were pretending not to pay attention. "Combat training is concluded!"

Cade stood in the square long after the others had left. The strange feeling had retreated, leaving him confused and aching from Nathan's blows. He had been almost knocked senseless while sparring several times before, but he had never felt such a strange inversion of reality. He had once seen a villager go into convulsions without warning, collapsing in the street. This would affect his chances of becoming a Master – he would keep quiet about what happened.
Chapter 5

The Monastery was unusually quiet and the training square was deserted. It was Free Day, an occasion which the Masters enjoyed as much as the Novices. Rather than getting away from the compound, Cade and Malcott were challenging their strength against the cliffs that towered above the Monastery.

Malcott had asked Cade to be his climbing partner. Perhaps it was to show that the orchard incident hadn't damaged Malcott's esteem for him, or to allow an opportunity for a private talking-to. Once they began clambering up the cliffs, however, the differences between Master and Novice were left in the bottom of the valley.

They had climbed since early morning, until the fields were a patchwork of brown and green beneath them, the Monastery a neat cluster of grey pebbles. The view of the valley was even more impressive from halfway up the mountain. The distant opposite wall glowed silver and grey in the sunshine, its crags biting at the cloudless blue sky. In several places, waterfalls tumbled from the peaks, launching themselves into the void and becoming lost in mist long before they reached the valley floor. The climbers' skill and the pulsing of adrenaline in their blood were the only things that prevented them from plummeting to their death.

Cade's body was stiff from the encounter with Nathan and his eyelids were swollen and burning, but the injuries had no effect on his climbing ability. There was no wind to pluck him away and the morning sun had warmed the rocks beneath his hands - it felt as if the cliff was enfolding him in a living embrace.

Cade reached the half-way ledge just as his arms started to tremble with exhaustion. He hauled half of his body over the lip and lay there, letting his legs dangle over the precipice and paused, panting. He rested his chin on the granite outcrop. Somebody had carved their initials into the rock right in front of his face. There was always a sign to tell him that he was never the first to discover anything new: a dried apple core, a scrap of paper, a melted candle stub.

He swung his right leg over the top of the ledge and squirmed around until he was pressed against the cliff. On the crags above, small temples clung to the peaks like wooden barnacles. There would be Novices inside; honing their skills away from the distractions of the Monastery and throwing their chants and Connections into the cold, silent mountain air. Looking upwards made him feel just as dizzy as looking down into the valley, so he nestled harder against the rock.

There was a grunt of exertion from below. Malcott's arm appeared, the tendons in his hands sticking out like ropes. The rest of him followed in a great heave, beads of sweat standing out on his shaved head. He looked as formidable as the cliff he had climbed.

"Giving up already?" he huffed breathlessly, collapsing next to Cade.

Cade waited until his breathing became regular before he spoke.

"Did you hear about what happened with Nathan?"

"Me, along with the rest of the Monastery!" Malcott chuckled. "I'm sure he deserved it. Besides, the occasional humbling experience makes for a better life."

"I'm sure he hates me now!"

Malcott gave him a crooked smile. "People only hate vanity and pride. Let your abilities speak for themselves and you will earn respect instead of hate."

"I couldn't help doing what I did. It was as if something else took control of me," Cade said. "I imagine it must be what Connection feels like."

Malcott turned as if the words had prodded him. "Tell me what you felt."

Cade described the dizziness, how the world had dissolved around him, and the injuries he had unknowingly inflicted on the other boy. When he'd finished, Malcott spoke softly. "But you have no brain-pin. I have never heard of such a thing."

"So it was Connection combat?" Cade's spine tingled. Novices could meditate and learn to fight like any other mountain tribe, but only a brain-pin could raise a Master far above the possibilities of natural ability. "How did it happen – can I do it again?"

Malcott gazed over the valley and breathed out heavily. "Look out there - it just keeps going: the mountains, the sky, the sun, then stars and galaxies that we can't even begin to imagine!" He tapped his forehead. "But that's nothing compared to the universe in here. Endless wonders, ancient powers; crammed into even the most ordinary of skulls. More than anyone could ever hope to understand."

It seemed that only then did he hear Cade's question. "I don't know what happened to you that day. Maybe we will never know, but your training is all you need to worry about at the moment: all power stems from the discipline and training of the mind. Which brings me to something I have been thinking about for a while. Would you mind if I asked Great Master if I can take over the Connection and Memory aspects of your training? That is, if you wish."

Malcott made the offer in such an offhand tone that Cade hardly believed what he had just heard. He froze, thrilled at the unexpected words as their full impact sunk in. Malcott had just acknowledged that Cade was next in line to become a Master.

"Now, my joints are starting to seize. You first."

Cade took a breath and set his fingers to the rock face. He probed a long vertical crevice in the rock. It was sound, so he hauled himself up. Had he just heard Malcott correctly? He was going to be trained privately! He imagined himself in the square, sparring with Malcott while the rest of the Novices stood gaping, their weapons stilled. It would set him apart, as far above the other Novices as they were from the servants who skulked about the Monastery. He thought of Nathan and his other classmates and friends. He wondered how many of them would drop away from him if he took up Malcott's offer.

Something caused his awareness to plummet from his body. There was a shout and a clattering of rocks from below. Cade clung to the rock in terror, as if the sky was trying to pluck him away and hurl him downwards. He twisted around, searching wildly for Malcott.

There was only a continuous wall of rock, yawning into infinity below. Malcott had fallen onto the ledge where they had rested. Cade's path down the wall was a blur of scrambling and half-falls, his hands bleeding and raw. He reached the ledge where the Master lay. Malcott gasped for air as if he was drowning.

"Cade! The pin! I can feel it!"

The man was so broken, so far beyond any injury he could have imagined. It was Malcott, yet he got no flash of recognition of a friend from the shattered body. He had shaken loose from the world of feelings, as if he was dispassionately observing another's nightmare.

"The pin!" Malcott's panting words came faster. "It's yours! Now!"

The dying man struggled in Cade's grip, trembling as he tried to lift his head. A tiny silver rod protruded from the centre of a scar on the base of his neck. The sight jolted Cade with the certainty of Malcott's fate. The pin would only leave a dying man. It was his last moments with his friend, yet he felt like a emotionless machine.

Malcott's words rattled from deep within his chest. "Take it!"

One part of Cade knew what to do - they had rehearsed the procedure hundreds of times. Somehow, his body acted dumbly as his mind fell apart. He willed his trembling hands to stillness and gently drew out the metal splinter. He held the tiny needle before his glazed eyes. He breathed in. He held the pin behind his head with one hand and fingered the indented scar in the back of his head with the other. This would hurt, he knew, at least as much as the time when they had first drilled the hole in his skull during his initiation. He let his awareness seep away like water, dissolving into the rock, the air, into Malcott. Cade was nothing - one mote of awareness among billions. Malcott was a tiny, fading eddy in the majestic turmoil of the universe.

Cade bowed his head and held the pin to his scar. Firmly, he rammed it home with his thumb. The shock made him gasp. His gaze connected with that of the dying man one last time. Malcott smiled and closed his eyes. The tension bled from his body. The pain was gone, whisked away with the thoughts and sensations that had called themselves Malcott.
Chapter 6

Cade lay on the bed in his room, picking at the scabbed-over sore on the back of his head. The Masters had moved him to a cabin away from the other Novices. They said it was to let him rest after the insertion of the brain-pin. However, he knew he made everyone else uneasy and they wanted to hide any reminder of the accident.

Sunshine and warm breezes from the window did nothing to shift the chill that lay over him. He ate once a day to quell the gnawing in his guts, but food had lost what little taste it had. He kept telling himself that the disappearance of such a tiny fragment of the universe could never diminish it. It was more likely that a mountain could be lessened by the theft of a grain of sand. Malcott had told him that, but they were platitudes that did nothing to fill the hole in his chest. The Connections that had tied Malcott into the life of the Monastery were painfully absent - he saw it on the grim faces of everyone who passed by his window.

A rap at the door startled Cade and he reluctantly rose and opened it. Great Master was framed in the doorway. Cade instantly rose and muttered an official greeting. Great Master ducked his head under the lintel. "No, sit down - I'm not here as Master. May I?" He sat on Cade's bed and Cade joined him. The bed creaked under the double weight.

"I understand how difficult this must be for you. I trust that you don't lack for any care," the Master said.

Cade hesitated before speaking. "No, Master."

"And you feel fine after the insertion?"

"Yes, Master."

Great Master paused like a doctor with troubling news. "Cade, I'm a hard old man. I Connect much more than I talk these days, so forgive me if I upset you. Let me tell you about my exchange." The Master's voice was soft and calm. "Longer ago than I care to remember, I was an orphan, like you. I loved my Master like a father."

The Great Master never talked with such familiarity. Cade looked at the knots in the pine floor.

"He was frail. As he aged, it became harder for him to live in this world. We Novices did what we could to make his life easier and those with brain-pins supported his mind. Then, oblivion finally took him."

Cade looked up at Great Master, searching for a glint in his eyes that would give away the joke. Instead, he saw an old man lost in past sorrows, trying to share the healing that time had brought him.

Great Master continued his story. "We had years to prepare for the exchange. I was chosen by vote to receive the brain-pin, and spent hours with the old man, preparing myself for the ways of Connection." His voice dropped to a murmur. "Finally, when the end was near, we held the proper ceremonies. As he slipped away peacefully, we performed the operation. That is the way an exchange should go."

Cade spoke through gritted teeth. "I didn't choose things to be this way!"

"Novice Cade! You acted bravely under pressure, and your academic record is exemplary. You would have been the first candidate for the exchange no matter what the circumstances. You are one of us, now."

Why is he trying to justify this to me? Cade thought. Couldn't he see that I'd had no choice on the mountain that day? Brain-pins were fragile - they died rapidly in the open air. It was a greater crime to allow a brain-pin to die than to transfer it to even the most unsuitable host.

Great Master took a breath and laid his hand heavily on Cade's shoulder. "This drawn-out suffering is a drain on all of us. We have decided that the sooner you are Connected, the easier it will be for you to deal with the passing of Malcott and leave behind your crippling grief. The time has come, and the preparations for the ceremony are complete. May the death of our dear friend Malcott not be in vain. Come with me."

After days in the gloom of the cabin, the sunshine was painfully bright. They walked towards the training square, past a row of white mountain birches with broad leaves that bobbed in a light summer breeze. Above them, a flock of small colourful finches chattered and wheeled. Behind everything, the ever-present mountains crowded around outside the Monastery wall. Cade's heart shrunk in his chest, recoiling from the brightness.

So he was to have his first Activation. A month ago, this would have been the greatest moment of his life. That life was now over, its memories those of a stranger he no longer felt any link to. How could fate have given him all that he wanted by taking away what he treasured above anything?

The breeze grew stronger, sending leaves dancing over the grass. Small white clouds scudded across the sky, just above the tallest peaks. They rounded a corner. The entire Monastery population was assembled in the training square, silent and motionless. From the Masters in their flowing black robes, to the servants-in-training in their newest brown work clothes, they were all watching him. Nothing of his bearing was passing unnoticed and it took every shred of his willpower to avoid breaking his stride. The main tower hulked above the crowd like the stone fist of an ancient god, asserting its grip on the world.

There was a clear path between the assembled rows, from the gates to the foot of the tower. The Masters stood in a single row to the right of the gap, their black robes billowing. Behind them were the Novices, a sea of bald heads and brown cloth, punctuated by bright, fluttering banners which snapped in the breeze. The banners bore geometric patterns, intertwined with flowing organic forms. Life and Connection, Cade thought. The fusion of artificial reason and mindless, natural chaos.

Cade walked side-by-side with Great Master and every head turned to follow them. The small door in the foot of the tower was open. So this was the gauntlet he would have to run to escape from his old life. He walked steadily, looking only at the doorway and ignoring the wall of faces on each side. He tried not to consider the new life that fate had hurled at him: a life of black robes, no Malcott, and a metal pin in his head. He glanced up. A mistake. He met the eyes of Nathan and shrunk from the open hatred that burned there.

The stone passageway was so low that Cade had to duck and he shivered at the sudden dampness. A flight of stairs led downwards and a chain of electric bulbs threw their feeble light into the darkness. He descended with Great Master behind him. The final few stairs were hewn straight out of the rock, worn and slippery. At the bottom of the stairs, pooled in shadow, a heavy metal door stood ajar. A bright electric glow streamed through the gap.

"Behind this door," whispered Great Master, the words reverberating in the corridor. "You will find your answers."

Cade's lay his hand against the door and the hairs on his neck prickled instantly. The universe held its breath, as if it knew that one gentle push would change Cade's world forever. He stroked the door gently. Its smooth joins and hinges fitted together perfectly - engineering from a more advanced age. He pushed and it swung open silently, gliding on oiled hinges. Light streamed around its edges and a wall of electric bulbs blinded him. The room's walls were grey concrete, rust-stained by the gradual seepage of ground water. A plain wooden chair stood in the middle of the room. Cade stepped over the threshold.

"Sit," Great Master commanded. Cade sat in the chair, squinting into the lights. A sizeable portion of the Monastery's electricity supply was burning in front of him. Surrounded by the lights, a square curtain hung on the wall. The Master gripped one edge of the curtain, his eyes locked solemnly on Cade's. Cade's heart almost stopped in anticipation. He was acutely aware of an ache at the base of his skull. In a few moments, whatever lay behind the curtain would arouse the metal worm inside him. Its silver filaments would spread through his brain like mould through a loaf of bread.

Great Master pulled the curtain aside. Set into the wall was a square block of dark stone, with white marble inserts. The stone's image was like a chequerboard made by a madman. Instead of alternating colours, it was covered with a random scattering of hundreds of black and white squares. Cade's heart resumed, his blood pounding in his ears and in the scar, but he felt nothing. The Master paused for a moment then covered the picture, making sure that nothing of the stone's surface was showing.

"You may stand, Master Cade."

Cade ignored the command, confused by the title. _Master_ _already?_ He stared at the curtain. _Was_ _that_ _it?_ _Had_ _it_ _failed?_

"That was the Activation Code," Great Master said. "Without seeing it, the brain-pin is useless. The brain-pins have this precaution built in - it helps to discourage anybody from gouging it out of your head. The stone has been here as long as the Monastery."

"Is my brain-pin working?"

A faint smile creased Great Master's mouth. "You need to turn it on. I think you know how."

Cade reached behind his head, as he had seen the Masters do. "Like this?"

"Exactly. And brace yourself - the experience of the first Activation is intense, but usually not unpleasant."

Cade's head tingled beneath his hand. _What_ _was_ _that_ _music?_ A beautiful, half-heard melody tickled at the edge of his hearing. Just as he strained his awareness to its limit, there was an incredible crash, as if every instrument in the world hit a chord inside his head. As if this was a signal, his body sprung a million holes and he flowed away.

And then, a perfect, blissful nothingness. He became aware of a galaxy of pinpricks of light, wondrous against the emptiness. He marvelled at this new discovery, drawing the twinkling constellations closer to himself. _It_ _'_ _s_ _like_ _the_ _meditation,_ he thought. _Yet_ _u_ _ncontrollable and undeniable._

He was amongst the bustling river of silver orbs The sheer number of them was overwhelming. Shrinking from the magnitude, he fixed his attention on the individual orbs around him. They were like spherical glass balls filled with shifting rainbows. He directed his attention through one of them.

He was waist-deep in a sea of yellow wheat which rippled in the summer breeze. Above him, a flawless sweep of blue stretched from horizon to horizon and the sun burned high in the sky. A cool breeze rattled the stalks, tousling his long hair and cooling the sweat on his shoulders.

He swung the scythe in a hissing arc and wheat fell about him. The motion was an endless dance: step and swing, step and swing, step and swing. He rejoiced in the coiling and release of his taut muscles. He looked over his shoulder at the expanse of yellow stubble he had already felled, then turned to the endless sea of grain that he had yet to cut. It would be a good year for him and his family. He was dragged back into the blackness, into the glittering throng of orbs.

In a dizzying flip of perception, every orb became a window puncturing the wall of darkness, with the sensations of countless creatures streaming through them. He saw the world through a billion eyes, lived the suffering and joy of countless lives, died a million times and was born. He felt torrents of Connection pouring through the holes, from every life on the planet. Every orb was so alike, yet so unique and precious. Each reflected the light of countless others in a thick, clinging web of Connections. The instant that he comprehended the experience was the most beautiful, rapturous moment of his life.

But he had overlooked something important. He wasn't everything and anything.

Somewhere there was Cade, a tiny, feeble life, jostled amongst all the others. With a shock he realised that the life he had held sacred above all else, was nothing but a label attached to just another squirming bag of flesh. What made it different from any other fragment of the universe?

How could he find it amongst the billions of identical lives? The thought brought on a wave of panic. The spheres became aggressive and jostled and confused him. One of the orbs was different - stronger and familiar. He drew himself into it, feeling the confines of a body. Strange memories collided with those of his own. He found sight - it was dim and blurry. He felt the stiffness of an old body. He was watching a young boy slumped in a chair, drenched in sweat, his eyes rolled back in his head.

_No!_ he thought, a stern rebuke to himself. _Not_ _here!_ _Over_ _there!_ This wasn't his own thought. He was launched forwards from the body.

Cade gasped and jolted in his seat, his eyes bulging. Great Master was at his side holding his shoulder firmly.

"Come back now, Cade, the worst of it is over. That was the calibration of the Connection." The sound of his own name anchored him in his body, like an insect being impaled on a pin, fixed and categorised. He took a deep breath and gazed around him as the real world asserted itself. The joy of arriving unscathed in his familiar body was almost as great as the revelations he had experienced.

"It takes a while for your brain to adjust to the extra stimuli, but the most extreme side-effects should disappear after the first few uses."

Cade was too caught up in the experience to respond. He still felt the tendrils of Connection all around him, but the experience was receding rapidly, like waking from a barely remembered dream.

"Amazing!" he exclaimed breathlessly.

"Don't try to think about it now. Relax, then make sense of it later."

"Has it finished?" Cade asked.

"No – the brain-pin bears a double gift. The pin will give you Memory access, the calibration of which will start in a few minutes."

Cade had the sense of having just completed a long journey of discovery. The philosophies he had learnt had always had the feeling of truth about them, but he never expected to see and experience them so intimately, right to the core of his being.

"Squeeze my hands," commanded Great Master. "I need to make sure you haven't suffered any permanent damage."

Cade obeyed, still shaky after his ordeal, but managing to muster a firm grip.

"Now, what's your name?"

"Cade." He wouldn't have understood the question five minutes before.

"While we are waiting for the next phase, I will explain what you have experienced. After the Nuclear War, the bornware responsible for the Connection ability was diluted by the process of interbreeding and natural selection. Part of the Connection ability is the bornware radio tags which attach themselves to the nervous system. These fragments contaminated many different species of animal and plants."

"So I can feel the thoughts of living things?"

Great Master nodded. "You are now what every culture has prayed for: a prophet, a god among men. Congratulations. But there are limitations - the ability isn't magical in any way, or even close to fully functioning."

"And what about this Memory calibration?" Cade was anxious about the second onslaught. He'd already had enough revelations today to last a lifetime. "What will happen?"

"Don't worry, Cade." he said. "You shouldn't go into Activation with any expectations. Just absorb the experience."

As if his words were a trigger, Cade's fingers began to tingle. He realised that the outside world had been dimming and receding from his awareness for some time. Something artificial, hard-edged and coldly mechanical clawed at his mind, drawing him inwards and away from the world.

As if he was freezing solid, his fingers and toes ceased to exist, then his arms and legs.

He died from the outside in, his awareness shrinking and retreating to his core. Within his muffled awareness, his heart became a great drum in his chest. It boomed a steady rhythm. keeping time for the pulsing of blood that rushed in his ears.

"I think I feel it now," he slurred. As he slipped deeper into the awareness of his internal processes, he felt each individual lump of gruel he'd had for breakfast, churning in his stomach.

Lower, worm-like waves of contraction rippled through his guts. He recoiled from contemplation of his intestines when the sensation became nauseous.

Every other part of his body joined the chorus - the squelching, squeezing, pulsing of his organs was an orchestra which kept time for his endless march through life, an ode to his blunt animal determination to stay alive. Although he had studied biology, he'd never considered how busy his insides were! The music became more intricate with every passing moment. Every cell in his body added its own unique rhythm to the chorus, layering harmony upon harmony. Soon, the cacophony of his physical body became overwhelming.

_My_ _cells_ _are_ _talking_ _to_ _each_ _other!_ Somewhere in the real world, Cade giggled with the realisation. His cells jostled and exchanged signals with their neighbours like farmers bargaining frantically at the marketplace in Safekeep. No matter how attentively he listened to the whole, or one isolated part of the chorus, every part of his body resonated to the same song; an infinitely complex melody just beyond the edge of his understanding.

Gradually the music became a babble of speech. Millions of voices clamoured for his attention: some identifiably human, others mere animal croaks. As if he had just opened his eyes, he found himself floating above a procession of figures marching from the horizon towards him.

At the fore were humans: men and women, each chanting their own song and striding forwards.

Behind them were a menagerie of apes, rats and lizards, all waddling in time to the chanting and singing in their own strange languages. The absurdity of the vision broke its fragile spell and the people, animals, and music were gone. He still felt them inside him, mixed in with his pulsing guts, bloating him with their essence. As his mind fought away the stupefying effect of the brain-pin, he understood everything.

At that moment, Cade's double-spiraled bornware was as comprehensible as a book opened before him. He saw the parts of himself that were gifts from his human ancestors. There were deeper fragments from an earlier swampy, fishy time. In the same way that an embryo developed in the womb from fish to lizard to monkey to human, he understood that his identity as Cade was the result of a similar process. His life was a spark that had successfully leapt forwards thousands of generations, right from the first primeval dot that had begun dividing. His thoughts and emotions still bore the marks of that journey; it was only a self-centred illusion that the mind was born as a freshly-scrubbed slate, waiting for rational thoughts to be written upon it. And deep within the tome of his existence, a single passage linked him with every other life: the original Word, a small fraction of bornware which was shared by all creatures. He was shocked by how closely he was related to every other living creature. As an orphan, he always wondered about the identity of his family. Now he knew – every living thing was his brother or sister.

There was something else, too. He felt artificial fragments wedged into his fleshy, organic bornware like metal splinters. These were intriguing, packed with shreds of information on the life of all humanity from ages past.

He became aware of shapes around him. One of the shapes moved.

"Cade?" it said. "I think it's time you went to your room and rested."

Cade brought his fingers in front of his eyes. They wavered in front of him, as if he was looking into a deep pool of water. His head reeled as he attempted to rise to his feet and he felt Great Master grasp him by the shoulders. His hand was forcibly lifted behind his head and the last traces of Connection dropped away, like a weight being removed from the top of his head.

"Come with me."

He found himself on his familiar bed, staring at the wooden ceiling, watching the knots in the pine slowly spiral. He pulled the coarse blanket over his head and fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter 7

Cade lay motionless on the bed, staring into the blue sky framed by window. The laughter and bustle of Novices filtered into the stuffy room and he heard the distant clack of wood against wood from the combat square. He breathed deeply, letting the familiar sounds dispel the strange dreams he half-remembered. He jolted awake, terrified by how late he had slept, then remembered. For once, he had a good excuse.

He sat up gingerly, anticipating a pounding headache. Instead he felt refreshed and alert - the salve of long, deep sleep had done its work. There was a plate by his table with a few slices of hard black bread and a glass of water. There was a note tucked under the plate, directing him to Great Master's private teaching room.

He chewed the bread as he walked through the quietest section of the Monastery. He kept behind the long rows of Novice barracks and along the far wall, where the path was muddy and choked with long grass. He didn't feel like meeting any of his fellow students today. What could he say to them, now that he was a Master, and had lifted back the veil of reality to see the truth beneath? The fresh air charged him with energy and he hurried towards his new life as a Master.

Great Master's private quarters stood on their own. Its timbers were dense and ancient, stained almost to blackness. He rapped on the door, his knuckles barely making a noise on the solid wood, before opening it.

The room was much finer than the Novices' cabins. Its panels were polished to a dull sheen and richly-coloured geometric tapestries hung on every wall. A large desk stood in the centre of the room and Lendora, Lance and Great Master sat behind it. They halted their conversation as he entered.

"Master Cade," said Great Master. "I trust you slept well."

"Sorry Great Master, I overslept."

"Not to worry - rest is important for somebody in your condition." Great Master gestured for him to take a seat before them. "You must be wondering why the other Masters are here. The Activation ceremony is a very personal experience, but now that you have been welcomed into the family of pin-bearers, we must decide your fate together."

Cade glanced at each of them as he greeted them formally. Lendora gave him a small reassuring smile. He took a seat.

"You are one of us now. You will no longer train with the other Novices, but will receive the training of a Master."

Cade felt a wave of dismay. A multitude of fantasies had been killed in an instant: no Connected fights with the other Novices, no cheating on tests. His old life was forever closed off to him.

"I am sorry to subject you to another ordeal so soon after your Activation, but the next few minutes are very important. You survived the Activation, as evidenced by your presence before us, yet we have no idea how well the brain-pin has adapted to your mind, or how strong your natural abilities are. This is Master Lendora's area of expertise. Lance and I are simply here as witnesses."

Master Lendora took over the conversation. "We are already aware that you have some Connection ability. But, more importantly to the Monastery, we need to discover what useful information your Memory can provide us with. We will now test the quality of your Memory. I am sure that you won't disappoint us, judging by the advancement of your other abilities. Now, please Activate."

The warmth disappeared from the room.

"Will it be like last time? I don't think I..."

"Please Activate," she said with a steely edge to her voice. "You are one of us now, you must trust that we would not allow you to be hurt." He met her eyes and only found concern.

Cade raised his hand to his neck and felt the ribbons of Connection begin to radiate from his mind. With an effort, he sucked them into himself, focusing on who and where he was, preventing them from streaming out in all directions. He felt them straining at his control, like a crown of snakes about his head, waving and threatening to strike.

"So you have learnt self control." Lendora's voice restored some of his composure. "Now we will join you."

The three raised their hands to their heads in unison and Cade felt them draw close, as if they were standing behind him, although they hadn't moved from their seats. It was a strange sensation, like the feeling of another's presence in an empty room.

"When we get to know each other better, we will be able to Connect on many levels. This will suffice for now." Lendora spoke to him, but her mouth didn't move. It was like the voice heard in a dream, or a recalled conversation.

Cade spoke aloud. "I can't control the Connection forever. How should I do the Memory test?"

He felt something foreign intrude into his mind, binding the Connection close to him.

Lendora smiled wordlessly. "The brain-pin will do everything for you. I will say some words and you will tell me whatever comes to your mind."

He nodded, his brow furrowed in concentration.

He heard her voice in his mind again. "Implant. Run self-test module fourteen."

The strange words caused a moment of confusion, then he felt something stirring in his mind. He felt roused to speak, as if recalling a prepared speech that he had memorised weeks before.

"Implant status functional. Radio functional. Running database integrity test as background task."

She asked another question. "How long was the Nuclear War?"

Words came to his lips unhindered, yet he had no idea what he was about to say. "The bombardment lasted for two hours and forty minutes."

"What was the immediate effect of the Nuclear War?"

"Disaster. Satellite warfare systems destroyed all key infrastructure and nuclear facilities, causing contamination of large areas of the planet, later known as the Darklands. Complete economic collapse."

"What was the one hundred and seventh word in the World President's annual public address, seventeen years before the War?"

"Adversity."

"How many microfactories does a weaponised VN-9 assembly array contain?"

"Sixteen thousand, three hundred and eighty four."

"How many solar eclipses occurred in the ten years prior to the Nuclear War?"

He paused, waiting for the answer. Nothing came. She asked again. Still nothing.

"Am I supposed to say something now?"

The Masters exchanged glances. Cade wiped his clammy hands against his thighs underneath the table. The air hummed with the Connection, confusing and disorienting. The Masters' faces were empty of feeling, scrutinising his face closely. Cade willed an answer to appear, repeating Lendora's last question over and over in his mind. The tension of the silence was unbearable. Then it came.

"Wait!" he exclaimed joyfully. "Database integrity test complete. Integrity rated at zero point zero zero four percent."

The Masters almost choked. He felt their disappointment wash over him. "Enough," said Great Master. "Please de-Activate."

Cade raised his hand to his neck and the sensations flowing around him fled to nothingness. He felt the blood rise to his face.

"You are dismissed."

He slid the chair back noisily, lurched to his feet and rushed from the room before tears overflowed his eyes. He didn't know what had happened, but he had felt the blast of unguarded disappointment from the Masters. He had failed, he thought angrily to himself, scuffing at pebbles as he stormed towards the main gate. He had failed himself, as well as Malcott. He hadn't asked for Malcott to die, or to get this pin in his head.

He fled through the gate, driven away from the Monastery by the happy laughter and bustle of the Novices that threw his own misery into greater contrast. He followed the path towards the stream, and every step that he took was a stamp in the face of the world that had cheated him. He slumped in the shade of the watermill building and began smashing the serenity of the pool, hurling whichever rocks came to hand into the water.

All his life he had known that the world would recognise him as the Master who would lead it towards the age of Connection. Malcott told him many times that he would become a great man, that his potential was unlimited. Why had he lied? To protect his feelings? He relived again and again the distasteful glances of the Masters. Maybe there was a mistake? He had always been so strong in every discipline. Maybe he could ask them to redo the test?

One part of him suspected that if he had taken his studies more seriously and not coasted on his natural ability, perhaps he would be joyously embracing the Masters at this moment. Now he would have to learn to be a failure: second-rate and unremarkable.

"Malcott!" he said softly. He curled on the ground, great sobs wracking his body. Almost by accident, his hand came up behind his head, then the whole world was sharing his misery. The willows by the pond's bank drooped their heads with pity. Tiny white flowers peeped at him timidly from the long grass, while a myriad of creatures scuttled around him. Their minds were tiny sparks, flitting about with boundless energy, intent on their simple purposes. They all whispered softly, scattered rudiments of awareness that blurred into a single mind. He almost jumped - the sensation was like the laying of a comforting hand on his shoulder.

It didn't speak as such, but he grasped its message in a single moment.

"See us? We live and die, and that is all. We do not burden ourselves with what has passed or what will be. We do not draw a circle in the dust and call everything inside it 'I', and hate and fear everything that lies outside it!

"Every one of us is your brother and sister - you are never apart from us. Where there is life, there is love. And when you cease to be, we will carry on in your place. Rest your mind, human, it is so simple!"

He let himself slip away. He felt that same energy of the forest creatures burning strongly within him. Somewhere there was a thing called Cade, pulsing with bile, imagined fears and black fantasies, but it was not him.

A shadow spread across the landscape of his thoughts.

"Rise, human, if you value your body!" the voices spoke. "Something comes to do harm!"

He drew himself together, finding his legs and rising to his feet before he was fully aware of his surroundings. There they were. Four black shards of evil intent thrusting towards him. He strained to see what he could only feel, scanning the long, thick reeds by the river. He felt the minds startle as they realised they had been discovered. He recoiled from their Connection, feeling poison and hatred in the fibre of their minds. Four figures rose, the reeds shaking violently.

He knew who it was before they stepped into the clearing.

"So you felt us!" Nathan called. "It seems that pin wasn't a complete waste in that stupid head of yours!"

Cade was still too far detached from his own body for the words to make sense. The boy continued as they closed the distance to him. "A lot of people hate you now. That pin should have gone to someone better." They surrounded Cade in a tight circle, ready for his reaction.

"It wasn't my fault." Cade tried to pull his awareness into his body, to return to normality.

"I would lose this pin in a second if it would bring back Malcott. You know how much a friend he was to me."

"Not enough of a friend not to kill him! You traitor!" screamed Nathan into his face. "You killed our Master so that you could take his pin!"

Cade felt all the rage and hurt and sorrow burst from inside him, rushing from his body in great jagged waves, driving into the hearts of those who had caused it. Blackness streamed around him, washing away the world. He vomited it out, driving it away, smashing the four minds and shaking himself free of his grief.

"Enough!" the command boomed in his head. He felt the minds of the Masters all over him, binding his Connections, ramming them into the shell of his body. As the Connection receded, he found himself beside the stream and the power-mill. He stood over Nathan, who lay on the ground groaning. The remaining attackers were fleeing in a rapidly expanding circle. His knuckles burned, their skin burning and bruised. He barely recalled himself being lifted to his feet and led to the isolation cells.

He awoke cold and sore, with his head pounding so hard that his eyes drifted constantly in and out of focus. The light that filtered through the high window had the cool weakness of late afternoon, so he had been unconscious for hours. Had he really Activated the pin and fought with Nathan? Over the course of the day he had tumbled deeper and deeper into trouble.

He realised now that the whole confrontation had been a trap; using the Connection against other disciples was an expellable offence. He found it hard to hate them, or even care.

His last Activation had turned the world into a pale dream, its activities undirected and meaningless. Now he was resigned to his fate and perversely fascinated by how further he could slide in a single day. He rattled the heavy door of the cell and called for attention. Lance, the weapons trainer, was quick to appear at the bars.

"Welcome back," he grunted, lifting the latch on the door. "We had nowhere else to put you."

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"You should be. You have gone beyond the point where further punishment would be appropriate. Come with me." Lance led him out of the building to Great Master's room, adjacent to the heavy bunkers of the cells. Lance continued. "You have left us with quite a problem. But, it is a problem that must be fixed."

Lance announced himself to Great Master and left Cade standing awkwardly in the doorway. Great Master shuffled papers off his desk and regarded Cade sternly. He paused, then began a speech he had already considered at length.

"Cade, as a future priest, you will act with reason, forethought and freedom from passion. We have seen little of this in your recent actions. You have disgraced your betters, disturbed the tranquillity of the Monastery, and abused your gifts.

"But ultimately, we Masters are at fault for laying such a heavy burden on the shoulders of such a young man, without allowing time for you to adjust to the weight. Therefore, you will receive no further punishment for your actions. From this moment on, no past transgressions will blacken your name or prospects."

Great Master's voice took on a sharper edge. "But you must never again use your Connection ability for relieving your emotional weaknesses, or indulging in fantasies." Cade cringed as the Master's voice rose to the point of shouting. "And you shall never, never use the Connection in combat against your own kind! Am I understood?"

"Yes, Master," Cade bowed his head respectfully.

"And is there anything you wish to say to me?" the Master's anger receded as quickly as it had appeared.

"Yes, Master. I am sorry for the dishonour I have brought upon my betters, my beliefs, and the memory of Master Malcott. I will put aside all my passions and failings and pursue the path of Reason."

"And be assured that you will always find us at your shoulder, ready to support you on that journey. I have discussed your future with the other Masters and we have already decided on a course of action. I would like to hear your thoughts on our decision.

"Your Memory results were disappointing and we see little hope for you becoming a Master fit for the instruction of others. This is through no fault of your own and it cannot be remedied. So we have found a role where your stronger abilities will be an advantage and your weaknesses are unimportant." Great Master took a deep breath, a judge about to pass a verdict.

"You are to be trained as a spy. You will observe Hedonan activities within the capital and report to us using your brain-pin."

"Great Master! Hedona will kill me!"

"Cade, there is no other option. We chose you for this role because your wisdom far surpasses your age. Your commitment to the Connection is unshakeable and Hedona will not be able to scratch your surface. Lesser Masters would fail. We will not turn you out unprepared – your training will begin immediately."

Cade slumped as he realised the implications of the decision. Spying was the occupation of the failures who possessed a brain-pin but were unable to make proper use of the gift. Hedona was an unimaginable hell, a place that would batter him with every affront to his beliefs. This was his reward for allowing pride and self-importance to corrupt his reason. An emptiness opened in his chest - a hole which swallowed the last of his hopes.
Chapter 8

Cade had not visited the Monastery since his banishment, so he could only imagine how the seasons had transformed his old home. The grain fields would be hot and gorged on sunshine. The stream would be so sluggish that it could barely turn the wheel of the Monastery's power mill. Cade now lived in a simpler, wilder world - in the valley on the other side of the mountains. As a future spy, he trained at a great distance from the Monastery, physically alone, but still tenuously joined to the Masters' web of Connections. He also suspected that he'd been deliberately separated from the Novices - Nathan and his gang had been punished, but they were unlikely to have repented.

For the first week in the forest he had been depressed and frustrated, his mind buzzing like a jar full of trapped flies. His anger blistered all his thoughts, made him hate everything he saw. Eventually, his mind had fallen into step with the slow, natural rhythms of the forest, as if the trees had shared some of their infinite patience with him. He found great satisfaction in even the simple tasks of cooking and building a fire; they were directly necessary for his survival, and hence, the most worthy possible use of his time.

Cade ran with a measured rhythm, enjoying the power flowing through his well-trained body. The forest was the perfect place to exercise: the moss underfoot was as moist and springy as a sponge, and the burning sun couldn't reach through the high branches. He could run all day in the cool, pine-scented air, and the knowledge made him feel immortal, as if pure Connection pulsed in his veins.

He reached his little cabin in the clearing beneath a giant fir tree. It was little more than a pine-log box, open on one side. Inside was a stone fireplace, a straw mattress, and a shelf for his spare clothes. A small stream burbled nearby, which provided his water.

Cade's daily routine began early, when the forest birds' calls greeted the first rays of sun to come over the mountains. The small tasks of collecting wood, finding and preparing food, and performing his physical training took up most of his day. Afternoons were for meditation. He would sit cross-legged in the cabin, or beside the gurgling stream. Sometimes he would scale a mountain, with the entire world and all its problems beneath him and nothing but the sky above.

One windy day he took a rope and swung himself high into the branches of a pine, scraping his hands and shins raw. He climbed until the swinging of the trunk in the wind was almost unbearable, where he was surrounded by shimmering fronds which closed around him like a green womb. He bound himself to the crook of a branch and listened for whisperings of truth in the rustling of the pine needles.

He took a wad of dried moss from a tin and stuffed it under the wood in the fireplace. Soon, a small fire was crackling in the hearth. He went to the stream and filled a blackened pot, then sliced a carrot and a potato straight into it. He cleaned his nails with the point of the knife while the soup began to bubble.

Soon he would Connect, as he did every day. He savoured these moments with Lendora as he savoured the accidental flash of a girl's bare leg. It was his only human contact and he longed to embrace her beautiful, powerful mind each day. It excited him to know that she knew how it made him feel, and she was good-natured and experienced enough to play along. Living constantly inside the minds of others required blunt emotional honesty and a sense of humour.

There was a loud twittering as a bird fluttered onto the carpet of pine needles outside. It was a beautiful wren - metallic-blue and ruby-breasted. The delicate creature puffed out its chest and trilled a challenge, the inside of its mouth a dainty yellow wedge. Cade laughed and the bird flitted into the forest, chattering noisily. So much posturing and self-importance for such a tiny, simple creature!

Cade reflected that this was his last meal in the forest and maybe the last time he would ever see a bird so beautiful. Yesterday, Lendora had Connected and told him that the time had come for his first mission in Hedona. Were there any birds in the city at all? The part of him that had fallen in love with the forest shrunk from the thought of the noisy, dangerous world he would soon enter, but his heart rose at the thought of adventure and human contact. However, the lure of adventure and human contact was winning him over from his love of the forest. Ever since he'd heard the news, the walls of the cabin seemed to be increasingly crushing in on him. The pine trunks of the forest became the bars of a cage. Now he couldn't wait to begin, and he Connected earlier than usual. His hand rose behind his head in a movement that had become as natural as scratching. The world bloomed into greater richness.

He sifted through the Connections that tickled his mind; the hazy, almost-awareness of the ancient pines and the living, decaying soil beneath his feet. He slipped out of his own mind as if he was taking off a familiar cloak. It became lost in the swirl of tiny insect thoughts that glittered in the forest like stars. He sensed the bird nearby, glowing like an angry spark - it was mating season. Gently, he shifted his awareness towards the bird, enfolding its mind in his own. _Hello!_ he thought. The bird ignored him, just like every other time. He knew brain-pins had no effect on Disconnected minds, but he couldn't help trying sometimes.

In the past, at the root of all Cade's thoughts was the certainty that one day, something would bring about his end violently, or that old age and bodily decay would betray him from within. How terrible it had been to live in the shadow of his own death, when all he knew and loved would be obliterated! However, the tendrils of Connection brought him great calm. To be blind to Connection was to be a single, lonely leaf, unaware of the great tree it was attached to. Surely, a leaf would be tortured by thoughts of autumn if it did not share the tree's anticipation of spring? He stilled his thoughts and reached for those of another.

_Lendora?_ he thought. He reached out with the Connection and her thoughts seemed like a remembered conversation.

"You're coming through loud and clear, as if you were in the room with me." Her thoughts fluttered uncertainly as the radio signals struggled around the mountain, relayed through the bodies of innumerable creatures along the way.

Cade squirmed his mouth as he felt a peculiar sensation on his tongue. _Are_ _you_ _eating_ _cheese?_

"I'm having lunch - excuse me for thinking with my mouth full!" He caught her suppressed quiver of laughter. "Are you ready for the trip to Safekeep tonight?"

_As_ _ready_ _as_ _I_ _can_ _be._

"You feel nervous. Don't worry, we won't do anything too challenging at first."

_I_ _'_ _m_ _not_ _nervous_ _–_ _just_ _excited._

"You're confusing your feelings," she replied. "I can feel plenty of fear underneath – it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Cade pushed her away slightly. Having his vulnerabilities plundered like this was more humiliating than standing naked in front of the Monastery doctor. _Just_ _tell_ _me_ _the_ _plan_ _–_ _I_ _'_ _ll_ _be_ _fine._

"We'll be in Hedona by tomorrow evening - we have a safe-house in the Nearside district where you can settle in, then we'll see how things go from there. Is there anything in particular you'd like me to dig up for the trip?"

_Maybe_ _a_ _wheel_ _of_ _that_ _cheese,_ Cade thought, his mouth watering. _I_ _never_ _thought_ _I_ _'_ _d_ _feel_ _this_ _way,_ _but_ _I_ _'_ _ve_ _really_ _missed_ _the_ _Monastery_ _food._

"Well, you'll love this trip - I know the Safekeep inn does a great vegetable pie. If you hurry, we can make it before their chef goes home."

Cade de-Activated with a swish of his hand. His vision swam and a pounding headache grew in his temples. He swore under his breath – sometimes Connecting with Lendora was like shaking hands with someone who was overly proud of their own strength. Most minds were as passive as a cloud of mist, but Lendora used hers as if it was the sword that hung at her side.

After bolting down his watery lunchtime soup, he stuffed all his possessions into a sack: simple brown pants torn at the knees, a cord to tie them and a few baggy shirts. Two roughly spun Master's robes and a woollen blanket. He emptied the straw from the mattress onto the garbage pile outside and folded it for the next inhabitant of the cabin.

The cabin was strangely empty when stripped of the signs of his life – now he had no home and belonged nowhere. A traitorous thought crossed his mind - he could walk in the other direction and leave the valley and the Monastery far behind. He could build a home and grow herbs and vegetables to sell in the nearest village. Hedona could remain an unpleasant story that he would never have to live out, the Monastery only a memory. Yet Malcott's death had decided his fate. He would remain a Master until he died, when the brain-pin would squirm out of the scar on the back of his head. He slung his bag over his shoulder and began the long journey to the Monastery.

The effort of climbing straight over the mountain quickly left him breathless and sweat-drenched, but it was the only way he could return before the peak's long shadow swallowed the valley. The journey was hard in another way. There were several sheer drops to traverse and Cade's heart plummeted as he relived Malcott's fall every time his fingers left the cliff to find a new handhold.
Chapter 9

By the time Cade had clambered down the steep trail to the Monastery, there were shadows creeping across the floor of the valley, bringing cool dusk with them. Outside the workshop building there were two massive horses with glossy coats, calmly munching grass, saddled in preparation for their journey. Cade had only been inside the workshop a few times and rarely had anything to do with research, other than carrying the occasional box of strange equipment.

The workshop was as large as a barn. He peered nervously around the half-open double door. High above, a row of small dusty windows showed squares of sky, but the natural light failed to find the floor through a tangle of overhead pipes. An oil lamp on a chain burned near the far wall, next to a blue light which crackled and danced like a flame. It cast long, flickering shadows over rows of metal cabinets bristling with pipes, metal sheets, and stacked spools of wire.

Lendora was working below the lamp at the far end of the workshop. She was bent over a table-sized machine that she was tuning with a wooden screwdriver. The machine was built around a hollow metal frame and filled with banks of copper coils and faintly glowing glass tubes.

The source of the blue light was a crackling arc of lightning that hovered between a pair of spikes above the box, creating a sharp metallic odour that competed with the smells of grease and sawdust. Cade coughed, the strange smell burning his nostrils.

Lendora placed her screwdriver on the bench and looked up. Her face was half-shadowed, the small wrinkles at the corner of her eyes deepened by the strange light. "Try and Activate now."

He obeyed. The Connections that streamed from his mind jittered and bucked like a rope bridge in a storm. When Lendora thought to him, he could hardly make out her chopped words.

"Do you feel anything different?"

Cade's jaw froze and he could not reply. Lendora threw a switch and the Connections smoothed as the machine died. Cade de-Activated and was almost sick with dizziness, as if he had just tumbled down a mountain in a barrel.

Lendora sighed. "That was using almost all the power from the watermill and it could only create local interference. We're still at least fifty years behind the technology we need."

"What is it for? Making people vomit?"

Lendora gave him a withering look. "If we can feed energy into the Connection at the right frequency, it could fully Activate anything nearby. Not just brain-pins, but the Connection elements in ordinary people and animals. But these valves aren't fast enough. All I can do is corrupt the signal."

The after-effects of the machine made Cade cringe with a sense of having been violated. "Did you build this yourself?"

"I got some Novices to wind the coils, but I designed most of it." She patted the frame of the machine. "This is the future of the Monastery: hard science, not preaching. Look at how little we've gained from our efforts in Safekeep - all we've learnt is that most people are too lazy or selfish to care about anything more than gossip and drinking."

Cade needed little effort to see that – he saw the evidence every time he passed an ale house or saw the aftermath of the harvest festivals. Taking simple pleasures wherever they presented themselves was much easier than searching for Connection.

"Well, enough for now," Lendora said. "We have more pressing issues – such as getting to the inn before they shut the kitchen."

Lendora unhooked the oil lamp and led Cade outside, before bolting the doors of the workshop. Cade had difficulty swinging into the saddle – he was used to riding bareback.

Lendora laughed. "Don't be so tense! And you don't need to kick him. He's not like the scrawny pack-horses you're used to. A good horse can read your mind better than a brain-pin."

They set off briskly along the dirt road towards Safekeep. His horse was fantastically well-trained and understood his wishes as if it was an extension of his own body. He resisted the urge to gallop wildly down the valley, to fly as fast as Connection, and instead trotted beside Lendora.

"When were you in Hedona?" asked Cade.

"Before I became Spymaster I did my time in the field. I spent years there."

"What was it like?"

"Exciting. Intense. Lonely. Eventually, it gets under your skin. That's when you return to the Monastery and start teaching."

Cade didn't remind her that he was unlikely to ever teach – his Memory ability was too feeble. "So how did you last so long?"

She shrugged. "Maybe I fitted in better than most. I kept my head down, did my job. Once you understand the way of the Monastery, it's possible to rise above all the problems. Maybe it's just that after living in the Monastery, anything is easy."

In an hour they reached the town, as the aching of Cade's thighs was becoming uncomfortable. The sky had faded to a deep velvet blue and the first stars were starting to glimmer. Rough wooden fences hemmed in the road, with an occasional cluster of houses and barns beside it.

They rode through the outskirts of the town. Whitewashed facades glowed coolly in the twilight. The streets were quiet, apart from the subdued murmuring and occasional explosive fit of laughter that filtered through windows, open to accept the night breezes.

A group of townspeople trailed their scythes as they swaggered past, still muddy from the field and rosy-faced from a full day's sun. They passed a juice stall where braziers burned invitingly under a canvas awning. Three carpenter girls relaxed on a bench, sipping from tall glasses and enjoying the warmth of the fire and the crispness of the evening air. They were still in their drab canvas work dresses, but their hair was bound in colourful chequered scarves, their broad-brimmed hats discarded. They smiled at Cade as he rode past and giggled when one whispered to the others. Cade's face burned. Most of the town revered the priests, but sometimes the villagers forgot to respect the ways of the Monastery. He straightened his back and trotted past without giving them a second glance.

They turned off the main road and into the empty back streets. Lendora led the way to an old inn, whose only sign of life was the firelight flickering at the window and the clatter of pots from the kitchen within. They dismounted and led the horses to the stable.

The inn was stiflingly warm inside, the air dense with the aroma of stale beer, roasting meat, and wood smoke. Layers of soot had accumulated on the walls as thickly as the inside of an oil lamp. The bartender was large and surly, his belly straining against a stained linen shirt. It was the beginning of harvest season and most people were at home exhausted, except for the habitual drunkards who had nothing worth going home for.

Lendora spoke under her breath, leaning close. "Cade. Scan the area."

Cade reached for the nape of his neck as if he was adjusting the hood of his robe. He paused for a heartbeat, then repeated the motion.

"Nothing," he replied in a low voice. "Those old men's minds clouded by drink. The only hostile mind nearby is a hungry cat in the street behind the inn."

Lendora copied his motion.

"Very good."

They dropped onto the bench of the table nearest to the door and rested their aching legs. Lendora stretched, then lolled against the backrest of the bench. "Now, let's get some real food! We're away from the Monastery now - you can have whatever you want."

"Maybe just soup."

Lendora looked at him quizzically. "Are you the same Cade who had his rations cut for stealing food? We're far from home, so let's indulge a little." So Malcott had told the other Masters about his misadventure.

Lendora waved the bartender to their table. "Two pies, and vegetables with plenty of butter. With a jug of apple juice."

"So that'll be without meat or beer," the bartender said in his slow country drawl. "As you are wearing priest's clothes and talking such."

"Correct. We also need two clean rooms for the night and breakfast."

"Not a problem, mistress. Your beds will be ready when you've finished eating." The man paused awkwardly. "I heard about the accident and I was sorry to hear it. Malcott was a good man."

"He was," Lendora said softly.

"We know how sad it must be for you - we've lost enough of our own. We hope you are faring well." The barman ambled off to the kitchen to tend to their meal.

Cade spoke. "That was the first person to ask how I felt about the accident."

Lendora sighed. "Things are different here. In the Monastery, we live by different rules."

"Well, where is the rule about pretending Malcott never existed?"

"Cade. You need to disconnect from your grief. If you are suffering, then you have strayed from the teachings."

Cade sensed the truth in her words and pushed away his misgivings, happy to take solace in logic. Lendora rolled her shoulders. "But now, let's forget the Monastery and have some real food!"

Cade caught the buttery scent of hot pastry, fresh from the oven, as the bartender placed their food on the table. It tasted as good as it smelt. Once they had washed down the feast with cups of apple juice, they retired to their rooms. Tiredness and an unaccustomedly full belly had a strong effect on Cade. He barely stayed awake long enough to crawl between the stiffly clean sheets and bury his head in the lavender-scented pillow.
Chapter 10

Lendora hammered at his door, shocking him awake. Sunlight poured through the wooden slatted windows and the curtains billowed gently. He disentangled himself from the soft embrace of the blankets and unlatched the door, rubbing his eyes blearily. Lendora stood in the hallway wearing a tight green shirt and trousers. Her thick grey-blonde hair bounced freely on the shoulders of a faded blue jacket. She looked more relaxed and energetic – and good.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Like a Hedonan."

"And you will, too."

She handed him a threadbare grey shirt with short sleeves and a pair of blue trousers slightly worn at the knees. He discarded his leather boots and changed into canvas ones with rubber soles. His toes were confined by the stiff material and his new clothes made him feel as if he was bound up.

He clumped downstairs to the empty inn, where Lendora was idly polishing her sword. She looked at him approvingly. "They suit you. But you look like a newly-saddled horse - try and relax!"

A pot of gruel and fruit was warming on a hook by the edge of the fire, but Cade was still bloated from the previous night's feast. They prepared the horses before setting out at a brisk trot, the morning sun warming their backs as they rode. Soon the sleeping town was far behind them. Lendora's brow furrowed as she scanned the road ahead.

"This is a dangerous road. Rich country-folk on their way to the city are an easy target."

The road to Hedona wound along the bottom of the valley. They rode silently, watching the hills to either side.

"To the left! On the ridge, in the patch of trees."

Cade looked at the cluster of young trees, still a few minutes ride away. He strained his eyes and watched. _There!_ A flash of metal betrayed the trap. Lendora raised her hand behind her head.

"Should I Activate?" asked Cade. His knuckles whitened as he clenched the reins.

"No. You don't know proper Connection combat yet."

"I do!" Cade exclaimed. "Remember that time with Nathan?"

"Sparring is nothing – I can't risk you getting hurt. Or going mad. Besides, it's better to have a Disconnected partner to hold the other back if needed."

He did, and a needle twisted in his heart. If only Malcott was still here.

"How many are there?"

"Wait a moment - their signals are still too weak. If I give the signal, prepare to turn around and gallop as fast as you can."

"Five," Lendora said, as if she had solved a mathematics problem. "They are stupid bandits. No firearms or grenades, only swords. Two of them are young."

Cade took a deep breath and drove away all his thoughts, until his mind was as calm as the surface of a lake. Yet his horse sensed a deeper unease and fought the reins, tossing its head wildly. He stiffened his grip and forced himself to look straight ahead. He could see them now, lurking in the trees. There were three in front and presumably another two rounding on them from behind. The figures broke from their cover and bounded to the centre of the path. Two enormous men and a smaller youth, their weapons held at the ready.

"Get down, or we cut your horses from under you!" yelled the middle man. His head seeming to rise straight from his shoulders and the muscles of his arms twitched as if he had trouble restraining his movements. Lendora leapt from the saddle and landed lightly beside her horse, drawing her sword in a fluid motion. Cade did the same, whipping his staff from its saddle loop and dropping into a defensive crouch beside her. The horses, terrified by the ambush and the loss of their riders, charged up the road the way they had come. The men looked as unbreakable as boulders, but he knew that their size would make them them clumsy and unwieldy. He had faced suffering many times through his training and knew that the clarity of Reason was his greatest ally.

"We are priests from the mountains," proclaimed Lendora, her voice unwavering. "You will not be harmed if you allow us to continue, but we will kill you if you hinder us."

"Hah, woman! You kill us, eh?" the brute's face puckered and he licked his lips. "I'm gonna have you!"

He shifted the grip on his sword and stepped towards them, limbering up his shoulders in preparation for an easy fight. As Cade had thought, the remaining men had circled behind them and began their attack with a yell. Cade swung around, back to back with his teacher, his staff raised. The two others were sizing him up, waiting to see who would make the first move. Faced with two additional foes, his resolve crumbled into cold panic.

He felt Lendora disappear behind him and heard a quick succession of wet thwacks and strangled grunts. The fixed snarls of Cade's opponents melted. Lendora flashed in front of him, reaching her opponents in an instant. The men raised their weapons to swing at her, but she flowed around them like a stream flowing around rocks. Her body flattened to the ground in one instant and twisted through the air in the next. She thrust her blade between the ribs of first one man, then the other, striking again and again until the bodies were slumped on the ground, their blood gushing.

"Lendora! Stop!" cried Cade. He felt the pain of the dying men in his own chest. Lendora shook her head slightly as if waking from a faint.

"It is done," she said. "We need to move them off the road."

They dragged the corpses into the small patch of trees without speaking. The dead weight was curiously heavy, the lolling heads and trailing limbs leaving wide scarlet trails in the dust of the road. Cade forced himself to breathe steadily, repeating silent mantras of detachment to himself over and over.

"You look pale," said Lendora. "Sorry, I shouldn't be making you do this."

"I'm fine," he replied. He had been almost useless in the fight and now she saw him as a weak-gutted child.

He wrenched at the heavy, slack limbs with renewed strength, then stopped. The man looked asleep, peaceful. Surely if he kicked him he would stretch and sit up? It was strange how the man's contorted death-dance had transformed him into a limp carcass, as if it was a ritual that he had performed to rid himself of life and proceed into oblivion.

Cade looked up to see Lendora staring at him strangely. "Why don't you Activate and find the horses before they head for the Monastery?" she said. "I can handle this."

He nodded and wordlessly set off to find the horses.

True to their predictable nature, the horses had forgotten their terror at the first patch of lush grass. Cade and Lendora rode silently for hours. The rhythmic jingling of harnesses and the occasional snort from the horses filled the void in their conversation. Cade spoke when the silence became unbearable.

"Can I do that with my brain-pin?"

"I hope you never need to," she said. "It takes some practise to get Connection combat right, but it's mostly instinct."

"So what does it feel like?"

"Nothing," she said abruptly, looking away.

"Is it wrong to use the Connection to kill?" Lendora made no reply, her gaze fixed on the horizon. Cade continued. "We were taught that all life is sacred."

She spoke sharply, as if her words cut painfully as they passed her lips. "If the Connection must be healed by causing suffering, then we have no choice but to do so."

The warmth of the dead men's skin still tingled on Cade's palms. They didn't speak for the rest of the journey.

In the early afternoon they came to a Hedonan outpost, a grey ulcer of a town in the middle of the grassy plains. Cade marvelled at the motor carriages that ran without horses, although their rattling and belching engines hinted that their design was imperfect at best. Lendora handed a driver a wad of paper money and they had the use of their own carriage. Lendora slapped their horses on the rump and they cantered off towards their home, undoubtedly planning to slow down and start foraging as soon as the Masters were out of sight.

The interior of the carriage was large enough for Cade and Lendora to stretch out on faded cushions which smelled of grease and leather. After a series of stutters the engine roared and they began rattling down the road to Hedona. The vehicle's creaking springs did little to absorb the jolts and bangs of their progress, but the monotony of the journey caused Cade to doze off, his head lolling against the padded wall panels.

The dying of the engine roused Cade and the carriage door was flung open. He coughed as burning chemicals assaulted his nose. Sunlight flooded the carriage, bouncing harshly off the cement walls that hemmed them in. The road was bustling with vehicles, some drawn by dreary horses, others by sputtering engines that added their fumes to the choking haze. Some appeared to be ugly hybrids of both: salvaged motor carriages hitched haphazardly to horses.

Lendora led Cade out of the carriage and took shelter in the doorway of a tall, drab building. She produced a ring as big as her fist, hanging with keys. She fumbled at the door and they burst into the foyer as if they were escaping a downpour. The door slammed shut and the intensity of the assault on all their senses diminished.

Lendora gave a heavy sigh. "Welcome home!"

Rubbish was piled around the doorway and a single fat fly banged at the dirty windows, stirring the husks of its dead comrades. Strips of wallpaper curled from the walls like decaying skin.

"It's not the most pleasant location," said Lendora. "But it's inconspicuous. And the safe-house isn't so bad inside."

At the end of the foyer was a doorway. Its doors were torn away, revealing a vertical shaft overflowing with bags of rubbish. Lendora nodded at the shaft. "If we were lucky, that would have taken us up. But we'll have to take the stairs today."

Four flights later, Lendora stopped at a heavy wooden door with several locks. She produced her ring of keys and opened the door. The inside of the apartment was as old as the rest of the building, but its previous inhabitants had brought the wholesome atmosphere of the Monastery with them. The walls were cracked and uneven, but a layer of fresh paint hid the worst of the bubbling wallpaper. A wooden table surrounded by several flimsy chairs took up most of the room. An alcove off this main room contained a small kitchen, with black iron pots and bundles of drying herbs hanging from the ceiling. Cade peered through an open doorway and saw a bed in a smaller second room.

"See? Just like home!" Lendora slumped in a chair. "You can explore the kitchen and bathroom yourself, you'll find everything you need. Plus a few things you don't, to make your life a bit more comfortable. You're not an apprentice any longer, so you don't have to live like one."

Cade gazed out of the window at the chaotic ocean of vehicles and people below. From the building opposite, a gigantic painting of a woman's face was frozen in a suggestive wink, her eyes level with his window. At such a scale, the red lips and tarry black lashes were monstrous. He drew the curtains and turned to Lendora. "So how long will you stay?"

"As long as it takes you to get used to living in the city."

With a firm press on a panel at the back of one of the cupboards, Lendora revealed a concealed weapons rack. Knives, swords and staves were held in place by clips, as well as some unfamiliar firearms.

"Why don't we have all these guns at the Monastery?" Cade asked. "The Hedonans would never dare to come near our valley!"

"Brain-pins plus blades are more than a match for bullets and more discreet. If we ever presented any sort of conventional threat to Hedona, there would be a rain of artillery on the Monastery within a month."

"How do they work?"

"Try your Memory," said Lendora. "Weapons information is the most common type of Memory fragment. It seems the Ancients spent a lot of time fighting each other, too."

Cade Activated and considered the largest weapon. It was ugly and black, with the threatening aura of a poisonous snake. He had never touched a gun in the Monastery. He lifted it off the rack, his palms moistening as he nestled the stock into his shoulder. The weapon felt familiar, as if sculpted to fit him. His finger found the trigger without thinking. Every time his Memory worked properly, he could forget how poor it was. He de-Activated.

"Ack variant, post Nuclear War manufacture." He gestured at the weapon he held. "Classic weapon, but too obvious to carry around in the street." He replaced it on the rack and pointed to a smaller weapon. "A small-bore semi-automatic pistol, pre-War ballistic plastic. And this, a pump-action shotgun with a magazine of eight shells, modified for easy concealment."

"It seems you have the right Memory for this place," Lendora said, smiling grimly. "There is a reason why we use guns here and not in the Monastery: you can never use Connection combat here. If the Hedonan authorities notice, they will pull you apart on the dissecting table. Not to mention the possibility of them tracing you to the Monastery and causing problems for us. So try to use the firearms instead of Connection if you need to make a kill."

Cade nodded uncertainly. The memory of the skirmish in the valley was still vivid, and trails of red oozing into the dirt flashed before his eyes. He wiped his hands down his legs, as if trying to rub away the touch of dead flesh.

"Do you think I'll have to use any of these?"

"Hopefully not. You are here as a spy, not an assassin. In the city, it's a lot easier to beat a dangerous situation with a smile and a sense of humour – I know you have one buried somewhere."

The ice thawed in Cade's chest, but he still shivered at the sight of the ugly weapons. He swung the rack out of view.

"As far as the rest of Hedona is concerned, you are a poor, wide-eyed country boy who has followed his instincts to the big city. You have nothing they want, so nobody will even look at you." She continued. "If you do get into trouble, never compromise the safe-house. It is your only refuge in the city. The secrets in here would cause you and us lot of trouble."

"So who will I be spying on?" he asked.

"Everybody," she said, sitting and crossing one leg loosely over the other. "What is being sold in the market, and for how much. What people are thinking and talking about. How many soldiers are on the streets."

"What's the point of that? Can't you just read the paper?"

Lendora smiled. "Every field agent is different, with their own strengths. We'll start you out on some easy tasks to find out what you are good at."

"Will I actually get to do any serious spying? Trailing someone, jumping from shadow to shadow?"

"Probably not. In Hedona, every individual is predictable – they always follow their animal instincts. None perform any actions of consequence, as their actions concern none but themselves. What we are interested in seeing is why the currents of compulsion come and go as they do."

"So if I just have to watch animals, why can't I just stay in the mountains and watch the deer? Are you sure this wasn't just an excuse to get rid of me?"

"Cade, you'll come to realise the importance of this work. The Ancients dug deep into the bornware of the human race and modified basic drives to suit whatever society existed then. Now we need to sort out the mess. What causes whole masses of people to begin fighting like mad dogs, or drop their rage in favour of quiet contentment? If we can understand that, we might find a way to pull them into the web of Connection."

They talked of Hedona and their life in the Monastery until daylight retreated from the room. One by one, electric lights winked on in the wall of windows across the street. Cade was ravenous, so Lendora suggested taking a walk to find food.

Cade was disoriented by the night city as soon as they stepped outside. Grey buildings loomed and alleyways gaped in the darkness. Above them, a snarled spider's nest of cables hung between the buildings. Electric globes hung from the tangled wires and threw pools of yellow into the chasms between the buildings. From every blank patch of wall or building, massive painted signs shouted down at them, their colours bright enough to scald the eyeballs. There were images of food, ghoulishly large smiling faces, strange symbols, and beckoning women.

Monumental tributes to greed and the anxieties of possession. The images were so bright that it seemed as if they had sucked the life out of the rest of the world and were spitting it into Cade's face.

They moved upstream through the flow of human bodies, a parade of grotesque figures, diseased in body and motion. A group of bald women clad in leather strutted by. A bony man with a sore-covered face, dragging a screaming child by the hand. A fat man scraping out a carton of grease with his finger. A helmeted soldier was beating a squirming bag with a stick as it shrieked.

Everywhere, eyes burned blackly with the fire of mysterious desires, lingering over every morsel of material and flesh. Lendora moved confidently through the throng while Cade pressed to her side like a frightened dog. Faces were freakish in the dirty yellow light and every shout or sudden bellow of laughter made him jump. Lurking in the shadows at intersections were the soldiers. They leaned against walls and lurked in alleyways, dressed in black, their cold eyes glinting under steel helmets as they scanned the passers by. Every one of Cade's nerves screamed at him to get away.

"Who are the soldiers?" Cade whispered.

"Mercenaries - security hired by whichever gang owns this territory. They ensure that people pursue their lives without inconveniencing anyone more powerful than them."

They manoeuvred out of the path of a group of stick-people who shuddered by as if they were drawn along by strings, emaciated and plastic-clad, like macabre dolls.

"Relax!" said Lendora, noticing his anxiety. "Nobody cares about us, they're just going about their own business."

"Does that business include us?" The bony elbow of a passer-by clipped his stomach.

"We should be fine. We are quite unremarkable, so we aren't likely to be the subject of any... fixations."

"What do you mean, fixations?" asked Cade, stiffening at her slight hesitation.

She bit her lip as she sifted through past experiences to select the more palatable. "Well, some of the big ones like the taste of human flesh, but you are too scrawny." Cade sidestepped from the path of one of the man-mountains who bore down on them like a ship pushing through a bed of reeds. The monster was oblivious to them, occupied with emptying liquid from a paper carton into its mouth.

"You are joking, aren't you?" he whispered, squeezing her arm.

"They're not all so bad. Believe it or not, they are real people. I wanted to show you the worst of it first!"

Spontaneously, she ran ahead, jumped to a halt, turned and spread her arms wide in the middle of the footpath. "Welcome to Hedona, land of freedom!" she shouted, her face framed by her bouncing hair.

Cade cringed and wished he was invisible, but Lendora's outburst was drowned by the general chaos. She wasn't the rational priestess of the Monastery any more – he saw how the city had tainted her.

"I just... don't understand you," he called loudly. "You are so serious, then as soon as you come here, you're a different person!"

She caught his eyes, as an anguished expression disappeared from her face, but lingered in her gaze. She fitted her gait to his as he reached her.

"Cade, if you fight the flow of Hedona, you will end up fighting everybody! You are Hedonan now. The sane Hedonan always follows their desires without fear of consequences." She sighed. "Let's eat."

Nothing distinguished the shop she had chosen from those they had passed on their way. Its windows were shattered and dirty, and reinforced with layers of haphazardly welded metal grill. As they entered, a haze of rancid fat greeted them, which had yellowed the tiles of every surface with its droplets. They seated themselves on high stools at a bench and the woman behind the counter sidled out the back to the kitchen.

"This is the best place I've found in the area," said Lendora. "It doesn't look good, but the food is passable. And a tip for the future: avoid the Feeder places. Unless you are very hungry."

Cade could guess which figures she was referring to. He saw a pair of them lumber by outside, their flesh shuddering with every slap of their feet on the pavement. "There's so many of them! But there's no fields, no sign of honest work. How do they survive here?"

"Quite often, they don't. The most vigorous ones enslave others, steal, or are strong enough to feed their appetites. All the remaining Hedonans are prey for the stronger, in some way or another." Cade watched the figures pass the window like a grotesque puppet theatre. They were either bloated, quivering with malevolent energy, or consumed and emaciated. There was no healthy normalcy here. He felt very small, overwhelmed by all around him. In contrast, Lendora was at ease, wearing her confidence as comfortably as her favourite cloak.

"You know, there is little that sets us apart from them. If every Hedonan, once in their life, took a single moment to reflect on what they were doing and why they were doing it, they would be no different from the Masters. If all you see in Hedona are its evil aspects, that is what you will become."

The waitress returned with two plates of greasy lumps of differing sizes. Cade peeled one of them apart, revealing a deep-fried vegetable entombed within the crunchy shell. The first few mouthfuls were surprisingly good, but after crunching through half a plate of oily batter his stomach began to protest. They pushed their plates aside and headed to the safe house. Lendora made up a bed in the kitchen while Cade showered, then retired to the bedroom.

He drew the faded curtains and sat on his bed. The room was bare except for a small wooden table by his bed and an ancient wardrobe, both embalmed in layers of aging, chipped varnish. The window was shut, but he could still hear the murmur of traffic below, like the churning of a flooded river. Lendora's bed creaked from behind the door as she settled herself for the night.

Cade crawled between the stiff white sheets and closed his eyes against the dirty electric glow which spilled between the chinks in the curtain. The bed was blissfully soft, the springs squeaking slightly as he gathered the blankets about him. Sleep came quickly, bringing respite from the day's barrage of sensations.
Chapter 11

Over the next week, Cade and Lendora settled into a routine. At first Cade clung to Lendora, flinching away from the crowds in the street and not leaving her side until they reached the safe-house. One of their first forays was to the money office, where Cade could extract the fortnightly living allowance sent from the Monastery. The first time he held a fistful of grimy paper and coins, he marvelled at how such dull materials could fuel all the activity around him. But he quickly learnt how it allowed him to survive, that it was the only way to feed and clothe himself. It took slightly longer to understand how money could lubricate the path from reality to his wishes. Money meant the difference between a long walk to the best food markets and a swift transit by hired carriage. It meant being able to escape from the dangerous crowds and stench of the street and to gain entrance into an exclusive garden for a few hours of tranquillity and meditation. The locals understood it too – the more money anybody had, the harder everyone else tried to take it off them. Displays of great wealth were rare in Hedona.

One morning they went to the arena. "You'll love this!" Lendora said as she led the way through the bustle of Nearside. "Yesterday it was battles to the death and endurance sex. But today's spectacle should be more to your taste!" She chuckled to herself and Cade wondered what ordeal she had prepared for him.

The arena was one of the few buildings in Hedona that was reasonably well maintained.

It was a gigantic cement ring dropped into the most decrepit end of Nearside. They joined a crowd of Feeders, bawling and yelling and waving banners. Cade felt in danger of being suffocated in the queue, surrounded by a sea of flabby bodies.

They paid their tickets and emerged onto one of the highest stands of the arena. The surroundings assaulted every one of his senses: the greasy aroma of rancid cooking fat and perspiration, the sea of waving banners and pink Feeder-flesh, and the deafening vocalisations which ran together into a continuous roar.

They took their seats and Lendora waved away the food sellers carrying buckets of Feeder mess. A male settled his fleshy buttocks across the two seats in front of them and was bellowing loudly at the spectacle below. Cade had to crane his head to see what was happening.

Two teams of Feeders waited at two troughs like the Monastery pigs waiting for their morning meal. They snapped their jaws and posed for the crowd, shaking their fists in the air.

Two barrows of slop were brought forwards and the roaring of the crowd increased. With a piercing blast from a horn, the barrows were upended into the troughs. The crowd's yells swelled as the Feeders fell to their knees and buried their heads in the troughs.

"Nearside versus Second Main," Lendora yelled in his ear. "Nearside have the home advantage!"

After several minutes of frenzied eating, one of the Feeders reeled backwards from the trough, settling into a puddle of bulging, distended flab. It turned its head to the side and its jaw fell open, releasing a lumpy tidal wave that surged about the ankles of the other competitors. The crowd jeered, hurling their derision into the arena with shakes of their clenched fists and furious howls. Cade looked away, fighting the urge to follow the example of the stricken Feeder.

"The champions have been upset!" Lendora yelled. "This is history being made! Nearside needs us now! Where's your team spirit?"

Cade grimaced and stabbed his finger towards the exit. Lendora laughed as they scuttled for the exit. She was still chuckling after they had left the arena far behind. "Do you want to get something to eat?"

Cade pretended not to hear. "What is the attraction?"

"Even Hedonans need something to believe in and strive for," she replied. "The empty dramas of the arena are the only triumphs they will ever know."

"What about Connection? If they only had a taste..."

"Wouldn't work," Lendora interrupted. "Look around you. All of these signs, advertisements, entertainments. All of these distractions are served up constantly. They leave no space to think, to Connect. True Connection is found along the path of a hard journey without distractions, a journey that few are willing to make."

"Let's go to the beach next time. Then we'd only have Hedona on one side and not feel stuck in the middle of it."

After several similar adventures, the freakish became mundane and Cade was ready to explore Hedona on his own. Sometimes, he came back to find Lendora stretched out on her bed, absorbed in a book on electrical theory or philosophy. Other times, she returned from a mission of her own. Once, he asked her about it.

"I don't come to Hedona very often any more, so it's a good opportunity to catch up on business."

"Spymaster business?"

She nodded. "You aren't the only one here."

"Do I know any of them?"

"No, and you never will. If you were caught by the Hedonans, you would be screaming their names through a mouthful of broken teeth in no time."

"But we'll feel each other when we Connect."

"Most are paid informants, but some have brain-pins. That's why you should Activate at the same time every day, so there is no overlap. And be selective with the Connection – try not to fling it out to every corner of Hedona."

It wasn't long before Cade prepared for his first Activation. He and Lendora met in a private garden by the Promenade. They found a quiet corner away from the richly dressed Hedonans who strolled between the regimented bushes and flower beds. They sat cross-legged in the shade of a drooping willow, listening to the murmuring of a fountain as it threw its glittering droplets towards the sun. The grass beneath them was cool and springy, smelling of summer.

"Are you ready?" asked Lendora. "It can be strange Activating around so many people."

Cade nodded and reached behind his head. The dam holding the Connection burst apart and the familiar streams of Connection leapt out of him, powerful and undeniable. Insects assailed him with their myriad pinprick minds and he felt the faint, hazy glow of awareness from the grass and trees. Beyond this was a cacophony of minds, like the roaring of the traffic in the streets beyond the garden walls. He extended his awareness gingerly.

Millions of minds bumped and jostled, twisting and rolling over each other like living drops of oil, forever unable to mix with each other. Cade felt for the threads of Connection that should link each mind: a poisonous barb of anger or hate, or the all-binding and encompassing lattice of love that gave the world its shape and texture. But there was no Connection, only Disconnected minds. They jostled and bounced off each other, intent on their own direction, humming with red-hot, frustrated energy that tore at the fragile bonds that struggled to link them. He felt Lendora twining herself into his thoughts.

"Strange, isn't it?" she thought. "That they can survive this way."

"I think I understand now, how this place works."

"I've been here for years and I still don't know!" Her laughter thrilled through him, like a splash of cool water. "Hedonans are governed by their own drives, without regard for any life beyond their own. Yet somehow, order emerges from the chaos." Enveloped in the thoughts of the other Master, Cade was no longer disoriented. The world was soaking with Connection: crammed into the small spaces between the petals of flowers, crackling in the meaningful silences between words.

"Reach out," Lendora urged him gently. Cade cast his mind over the city, far, far into the mountains, following a faint thread of Connection. He skimmed valleys and crags, then plunged into a deep well-spring of Connection. He felt familiar minds and instinctively reached for that of Malcott. He felt the shock of his loss once more, a Connection that could never be made again. Instead, he reached for that of Great Master.

"Great Master," he called. "Can you hear me?"

He experienced the replying thought as a half-forgotten daydream - scattered and weak.

"Cade!"

"Our Connection feels like a spider-web floating on the breeze."

"Because you are so far away," the Master thought. "Inverse square law."

"But I can still feel you!" Cade's surge of pride rippled the Connection. He felt a faint flutter of amusement from Great Master.

"You should save your energy - it's hard to keep up the power levels needed for long distance Connection. Give my greetings to Lendora."

Cade felt the words swept up by the woman beside him. For a moment their thoughts pulsed through his Connection, mingled with his own. He conveyed their affection and happiness at being able to reach each other. Lendora de-Activated, followed by Cade.

"You've just made your first report!"

Cade grinned. He'd started to forget that this whole exercise was part of his duty.

They walked to Nearside through the promenade that ran like a backbone through the centre of the city - a ravine of greenery, formed between two endless walls of high buildings. It was as if the looming, decrepit buildings had stood aside to allow an open space for the wealthy to carouse. The blue sky and blazing sun smoothed the hard edges of Hedona and seemed to have sent the more threatening occupants scuttling into the shadows. Avenues of trees cast a dappled shade over lush grass and a gentle breeze swept away the sulphurous haze that covered the rest of the city.

Lendora placed an arm around Cade's shoulder and he almost jumped at the unexpected contact. Nobody had ever touched him in the Monastery, except to attack him. He leaned into the casual embrace uncertainly.
Chapter 12

Released from the cage of his body, his mind was a ruptured water-bag - rivulets of his awareness coursed and splashed all the way to the stars. He had been that way for an eternity, yet a primal life-will, as powerful as an infant's first gasp for air, fought back. It drew the droplets together, sifting the gems of his identity from the lifeless substance of the world, rebuilding his mind piece by piece. Fragments of thought congealed. He reached for awareness like a drowning man struggling for the surface.

Lendora shook him by the shoulders. "Cade!"

His lower half lolled over the edge of the bed, the sheets twisted about his limbs. Lendora was a strong woman, but she struggled to free one of his arms. She heaved his torso onto her knee and wrenched his hand behind his neck. He shuddered.

"Lendora!"

She cradled him. "That's right, it's me. And you're lucky that it wasn't Great Master who felt you. Did you do this deliberately?"

"Of course not!" He hesitated. "I must have Activated in my sleep."

"Is this the first time?"

Cade nodded, the world reeling with the afterglow of delirium. "I've never woken up Connected before."

"Do you remember the trick with the belt and shirtsleeves I showed you? Do it. And try to keep the Connection time down for a while."

He sat up and gathered the sheets about his bare lower half. "Sorry. I would have worn pants if I'd known you'd pop in."

"Don't worry!" Lendora laughed. "I've seen naked men before. Mostly in the morgue."

Cade was almost sick. Her irreverence grated on his fragile mind and it made him furious. Yet lust is a pale and insipid mistress next to Connection, he thought. Did I say that once, or was it something I pulled from the Connection? Connection. He had better avoid it for a few days at least. The black spider-legs were still creeping around the edges of his vision, withdrawing instantly whenever he tried to focus on them.

Lendora got up from the bed. "You'll be fine now?"

"I'll tie my arms for a few nights. Just don't tell the other Masters about this."

"Of course not. Come to me if you need me. Right?" He nodded and she left his room with a soft farewell. She turned to give him one last glance as she clicked the door shut, then he heard her bed creak in the next room.

He sprung up and rummaged in the chest beside his bed for and old linen shirt and trousers. He tied a rope about his waist, threading it through the belt loops of his trousers and the cuffs of the shirt. He wriggled his arms into the makeshift straitjacket and crawled into bed. The mattress springs protested as he bucked himself under the covers and pulled the blanket up with his teeth.

This was an old trick that all the Masters knew, yet rarely talked about. Trussed up like a madman. What if the Masters could see him like this? His mind was on a loop, repeating the same Disconnected thoughts, which always led to Connection. He turned away from the red electric glow of the sign which burned through the window and stared at the stains on the ceiling.

He fumed at her interruption, at the invasion of his dignity. In the hole that Connection had dug for him, he was alone. Nobody could know the core of his being. If Lendora had Connected and tried to join him, her mind would be shredded. Shredded.

And she knew it. You're tired! Think about it in the morning. The morning, when hard daylight would drive away the shifting shadows of the night. It was the shadows, the suggestions of form hiding in the gloom that invited his mind to give them life. They're nothing but nightmares. Or dreams. He shut his eyes and the pin-wheeling sparks behind his eyes lulled him to sleep.
Chapter 13

Inevitably, the time came when Lendora returned to the Monastery with a sack of clothes under her arm and her eyes shining. She farewelled him with a hug and left the safe-house before the reality of separation began to bite. Cade sat at the head of the stairs until he heard the door slam below, cutting him off from the only person left in his world.

In the weeks following her departure, the colour in Cade's world bled away. He always slept until late morning, then he would lie in bed until frustration overcame his lethargy. He wandered the streets all day without reaching anywhere - every destination was as pointless as any other. In the evening he would reach behind his head and Connect to the Monastery. It was usually Great Master who grasped the tendrils of his mind. Cade imparted the mood of the city, the conversations he overheard, and the density of mercenaries and soldiers in the area. He lived for the freedom that Connection brought.

This changed in a single evening, an evening when the wind hurled heavy raindrops between the buildings, the droplets capturing the glow of neon signs and street lights in a shower of multicoloured sparks. Above him, roiling black clouds grazed the highest buildings. He was willing to venture outside because rain always damped down the stench of the city and scattered the crowds. He'd discovered a rubber cloak in the safe-house – a luxury he'd never enjoyed on Monastery sentry duty.

Before he had walked more than twenty paces from his door, he noticed a figure curled beside a pile of sodden cardboard – one of the vagabonds who accumulated in the city's crevices like flood-borne debris. Cade noticed him as he would notice a boulder that had mysteriously appeared beside a familiar path. A straggling beard overgrew the man's cheeks and a mane of limp hair framed his bony face. He stared ferociously into the pavement in front of him, toying with the cuff of his coat. Cade stopped.

"Do you live here?"

The man glowered at him. "The guards were using me for target practice across town! Just staying in Nearside 'til they calm down." His Hedonan lisp was so thick that Cade could barely understand him.

"How did you get here?"

The man stared at his rag-bound feet. "Was working in the gun factory across town. One day I got my hand caught in the machine lathe!" He waved a limb at Cade. The end of his arm was mangled after the wrist, the pink flesh puckered, the index finger completely missing. The man smiled, showing blackened gums which struggled to hold their remaining teeth.

"Yeah, messed me up real bad, see! So I got no work, no money now."

Cade rummaged in his pocket and his hand closed around his wad of Hedonan cash. This was for the next two weeks' worth of vegetables and bread, but maybe he didn't need so much this time. He peeled off one or two notes with his thumb. He looked into the red-rimmed eyes and felt something akin to the Connection. He crouched beside the man. "I've got money. Do you need food or clothes?"

The eyes lit up. "Yes, if you can spare a dollar or two, I could eat tonight!"

Cade pulled out the whole wad and pressed it into the man's hand. "Here. Buy some new clothes, some food, and bandages."

The man clasped the money in front of his face, wide-eyed.

"Thank you! Thank you!" he moaned, looking from Cade to the money and back again. The reaction was so pitiful that all Cade's feelings of benevolence fled. Was it supposed to be like this? Flaunting wealth to make others beg? The man was already scrambling to his feet, fixated by the windfall in his hands. They hadn't even exchanged names. Cade fled through the city, jostled by the passers-by. He needed a drink.

The glowing sign above a club's entrance drew him in, promising a respite from the miserable streets. The bulky guard stopped him outside the door, but stood aside with an approving nod after Cade handed him a large Hedonan note. The music inside blared as the door swung open, releasing a haze of smoke and stale beer. The overload of activity tore at his ragged, dulled senses: the loud clanging of the music, the flickering lights, the smoke, the yelling, the laughter and lurid, gyrating bodies.

The club had a courtyard open to the sky, completely enclosed by the pitted walls of abandoned buildings. Clouds churned above, lit up like furnace smoke by the lights of the city. The walls were plastered with torn posters and crudely painted naked figures, robbing the old buildings of their former dignity. Smashed glass clung to empty window frames like jagged teeth, some lit with flickering firelight.

The courtyard was packed like a cattle pen, simmering with energy, the dim red lighting making people faceless. In the centre of the space were tables with coloured balls on them that people were pushing with sticks. He bought a beer, then pushed past hairy arms and smooth girl-flesh towards the darkest end of the courtyard, to a cluster of sagging lounge chairs. He lolled in the furthest lounge with one arm draped across its back and sipped the bitterly chemical beer. He let his eyes gradually slip out of focus, mesmerised by the rhythm of the dancers. The repetitive banging of the bass drum formed the spine of the music, around which was woven the frantic rhythm of an electrical instrument and the occasional bark of a horn.

The song came to an end and the gap was filled with a babble of conversation and laughter. Cade put down his beer and reached behind his head to Activate. He should have done this before he came inside – trouble wasn't hard to find at night. Once again the tendrils of his thoughts reached out, sifting amongst the weak Connections. One mind leapt out at him at the opposite end of the club. Its intent thrust into every corner, shining like a beacon amongst the other alcohol-fuzzed minds. The hairs prickled along his back. It was searching for him.

He slunk around the edge of the courtyard, staying out of sight. He grasped one of the game sticks as he passed the rack on the wall. He glanced at it and his Memory provided him with the complete rules of the game – people had been playing it since the age of the Ancients.

Hefting the pool cue, he flowed along the wall, unnoticed by the circles of Hedonans who began dancing as the music resumed. The mind scoured the room with the intensity of a cat which had lost its prey. Cade dragged himself back from the edge of the combat state as he remembered Lendora's warning about remaining inconspicuous. If he slipped into Connection combat, there would be a bloodbath. His fingers tightened around the pool cue. One unarmed opponent should be an easy match for him without Connection combat.

He leapt forward, whirling behind his enemy. Incomprehension exploded from the surrounding minds, but he knew that his enemy hadn't seen him. As Cade saw the body that belonged to the mind, he froze mid-strike. The figure spun, her brown hair lashing his face. Her eyes were momentarily panicked, but he saw no trace of the murderous intent in them.

Something else. He lowered the cue hesitantly. The brain-pin gave him a disorienting feeling of double-vision, as it attempted to reconcile what he saw with what he sensed. He reached behind his head like a man fumbling to turn off a tap under an icy shower.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" She had the slight Hedonan lisp. "You looked interesting. Are you a dancer? You've got the body."

He summoned the courage to glance at her properly. She had large, dark eyes in a round, almost cheek-less face, and a small, upturned nose. A faint mottling of her skin, barely visible, striped her face like the markings of a wild cat.

"I saw you come in and I felt like coming here too." A row of white teeth glinted in the half-light "I hope you don't mind. What's your name?"

"Cade," he replied without thinking.

"Cade. What a strange name! For a strange man."

Nobody had called him a man before. He lifted his eyes then dropped them, seeing nothing but her bulging shirt, and looked up again, his eyes left with nowhere to hide. Her gaze had never left his face since he had first noticed her. "And who are you? What do you want?"

"My name? You'll only forget it," she said with a crooked smile. "And I want the same as you. The same as everyone." she turned to the bar. "A drink?"

Cade nodded. She sidled to the bar, the rolling of her hips obvious in her tight pants. She immediately attracting the attention of the bartender. Cade had heard tales of drink-poisoners in Hedona, and he watched her slender hands as she took two beers. He laid the pool cue against the wall. She led him to a niche where a dim red lamp seemed to deepen the shadows.

"I thought you might have been a dancer at first - you have the body for it. But you seem more of a talker," she said. "Let's sit."

She sat facing him and rested her chin on her knuckles, regarding him with a small smile. She looked at him too much. He examined the stains and dents in the tabletop.

"Nadina." she said abruptly. "I'm Nadina, if you must know. So, you are a country boy? From the mountains?" She paused as her eyes roamed over his body. "Yet you're harder than a farmer. A fighter."

Cade felt naked, peeled down to layers deeper than his skin. _Well,_ _let_ _'_ _s_ _see_ _how_ _clever_ _you_ _are!_ He stared back. _What_ _is_ _she?_ He had felt similar minds around Hedona, but none as focused and red-hot as hers. He spoke softly. "You are searching for something. Something you need. Something I have."

She laughed. "You think highly of yourself!"

Cade paused, stumbling as he tried to follow her nimble conversation-play. She filled the silence. "Why are you in Hedona? What do you need?" she narrowed her eyes. "Everybody comes here because they need something. You didn't come here to look at the architecture." A drop of sweat broke from Cade's hairline and began crawling down the side of his face. "Don't worry! Your secret's safe, whatever it is!"

She'd already unearthed enough information to go straight to the Hedonan authorities, yet her brash confidence felt as honest as the happy wag of a dog's tail.

He tried to sound her out, without letting slip anything about the Monastery. "I am searching for the end of suffering in the world. The joining of all life in unity and love."

"How much did you drink before I arrived?" She shifted in her seat, as if preparing to move the conversation onto familiar ground. "So, what does it for you? Women? Food? Men? Or is it animals in the country?"

Cade slammed his beer down on the table. "Respect - that's what would do it for me right now! You wouldn't dare to insult me if you knew who I really was!"

"Calm down!" she laughed. "We're all equally dirty in this dump. Well, who are you really?"

"Telling you be a bad idea for both of us." He sipped his beer. "You don't want to get involved."

"Well, Mister Mysterious, I'm free to choose when and who I get involved with. This is the land of freedom, after all."

"You really believe Hedona is free?"

She tossed her hair dismissively. "I can do whatever makes me happy here, without anyone bothering me."

"Whatever makes you happy? You don't know what happiness is! You can't see that the real purpose, the real happiness, the meaning is in the Connection between it all!"

"Hey, I'm happy with my life. I don't need anything else." She seemed to be encouraging his anger with relish, raising him to her own level of emotional intensity.

"Look around you!" he shouted over the music, sweeping his hand around. "Is this the way life should be? Everybody's trying to fill the hole in their lives with more and more stuff! It's like trying to fill in a hole by digging it deeper!"

"Maybe I like digging holes!" she yelled. She buzzed with tension, as if she was on the point of springing out of her seat. "You know, you've got too much energy bottled up and it's coming out in these crazy ideas!" She glanced at his half-empty glass. "You need to drink more! Something stronger."

She rose abruptly, leaned over and fumbled in his pocket, extracting a thin wad of notes. Shocked, he let the moment pass without reaction. The flow of events excited him and he did not want to do anything to disrupt their momentum. She sidled to the bar and gathered a double handful of small glasses. She returned, lining up four of them in front of him, saving one for herself. The smell of strong spirits scalded his nostrils as he raised one to his lips. He hesitated, but his remaining doubts were swept away. He threw the spirits down one by one with a toss of his head, ignoring the burning in his throat. His head reeled. Nadina beamed at him and clasped her hands together. "It's going to be a good night!" she bounced up. "Now, let's dance! This music is too good to just sit around!" Cade shook his head and burrowed into his seat.

"I can't dance!"

"Liar. Everybody can! I'll lead."

Her hand closed around his and a tingling warmth shot up his arm. She led him into the centre of the room. The song reached its thundering conclusion. Her arm snaked about his shoulder, his skin unbearably sensitive to her touch. It was something dangerous and uncontrollable; his caution washed away by a tide of alcohol and excitement. The music began with a throbbing beat that found its way into the pit of his stomach.

She led him, writhing in time to the music. She pulled closer and the curves of her body melted into his, dissolving his awkwardness and drawing him into the dance. He recoiled from the touch, shocked. She followed his retreat, pressing harder against him, her cheek cool against his burning face. He was shocked as her wet lips found his and her tongue writhed in his mouth. She withdrew for a moment to bite his lip. _Two_ _rows_ _of_ _teeth?_ he thought.

The dance whirled on, dizzying, drawing him in. She slid one leg between his. He flowed away, dissolving. He felt the steady rub of her thighs against his, the music ruling the rhythms of their bodies. She pulled away and this time he reached for her. Her face took up all his vision and her liquid black eyes filled his.

"Not so shy now!" She smiled wickedly. "You want to go somewhere?"

The hurried walk to the safe-house was a blurred, frustrating eternity. The woman's arm was warm and hung loosely around his waist and her body pressed against him without regard for the space between them. His pulse thudded in his head and thighs, continuing the crescendo of their last dance as they climbed the stairs with increasing urgency. He was doing something more dangerous, more foolish than anything he had done before. The Monastery would punish him brutally. It felt deliciously dangerous.

He slammed the door to the safe-house and the world became bounded by its peeling walls, painted in dirty electric dimness; a stage for them to act out their desires. In a movement as well-practised as Activation, she lifted her shirt over her head, freeing a cascade of hair. The swell of her breasts were a revelation. Her trousers came off with a kick. Her naked body shimmered with unreality, a dream of beauty. She laughed at his dumbstruck reverence and pounced on him, throwing him to the bed. Cade's felt skinless, as if his raw nerves had direct contact with her bare skin. She yanked off his trousers and slid her thighs over his. He pushed back against the slow roll of her hips, paralysed into inaction by the waves of pleasure which flowed over him. She smiled dreamily, her head tilted back, her back arched. "Relax – I'll do the work this time," she said.

The rational part of Cade threatened to draw him back into messy reality and transform their wet thrusting into animal reflex. He needed to fall completely into her, body and mind. He reached behind his head and the Connection embraced her eagerly, made her explosions of pleasure his own. The Connection tore them to pieces and hurled them into oblivion.
Chapter 14

The first sensation was the grinding of his brain against the inside of his skull. He opened his eyes and sunlight stabbed them before he could screw his eyelids shut. A mercifully cool breeze billowed the curtains. He tried to turn his head, but the movement pressed heavily on the shards of pain.

He eased himself into a sitting position and fumbled for the glass of warm water by his bed. His mouth was still dry and sour after he drained the glass. He would prefer to die now, rather than have to live through the rest of the day. How could he hide this from the Monastery when he made his report in the evening? They could sense right away what he had done, so he would have to avoid Connection until he thought of a plan.

There was something else, a black thought that lurked deep in his mind like a shadow, rapidly rising. _She_ _had_ _been_ _here._ _In_ _the_ _safe-house._ The shadow burst upon him with all its consequences. He dashed to the main room, but he knew that she was gone. They had shared something that had seemed significant at the time, but in the cold-hard light of day, he realised the woman had been right. Her name had not mattered and the details of their encounter were already lost in a haze of alcohol. She had valued him as little as any other Hedonan. If he was lucky. Could he have told her about the Monastery? Right now she could be leading a squad of guards to the safe-house. He glanced towards the door, expecting it to explode in a shower of splinters.

He couldn't escape the building fast enough and leapt down the stairs three at a time. He fled through street after street, winding into the darkest pits of the city. But what he sought to escape was a cold ball of lead in his chest. What if he had compromised the Monastery? What if she was with child - would there be another bundle dumped outside the Monastery gates?

He stopped, panting by a dead-end alley. Running could not solve this problem. He needed to collect some things from the safe-house, then find somewhere to lie low for a few days. On the way home he bought a paper cup of watery ale and a bag of fried dough. His stomach churned and complained, but he managed to hold it down.

He climbed the steps to the safe-house one by one, dreading an explosion of gunfire at every landing. She sat on the stairs, distractedly scrunching the neck of a greasy paper bag into a tight ball. She had changed into a faded pale green shirt, but her trousers and high leather boots were the same. He tried to match her to the fragments of memory from the night before, to find some sense of intimacy, but she was a stranger. Her face broke in relief as he appeared. "Good morning, Cade! I went downstairs to get us breakfast and the door was locked when I came back."

No ready excuse jumped to Cade's lips. The small hesitation betrayed him.

"You thought I'd run off after last night? To think that I would have disappeared without getting breakfast!"

"Sorry. I needed to go for a walk to clear my head," he paused. "I thought you might have been... ashamed of what we did."

"Hah! You weren't that bad." She shook the bag. "Hungry?"

He sat beside her and edged closer until their hips were touching. The last night's drunken fumblings belonged to a different universe. He had to rebuild the bridge of intimacy between them all over again. He leaned over the bag as she pulled out a stick of boiled mince, the flesh grey and spotted with grease. The contents of his tender stomach clawed upwards towards freedom and he leaned away. "I don't eat meat. And I've already had breakfast."

She bit off half the stick, swallowing quickly before speaking again. "I was hoping you wouldn't want any! I'm always starving after a good tumble." She finished it off and wiped her hands on her faded trousers. "Are you busy today? I was thinking we could go down to the promenade."

"I need to get out of here. I think I've just done something terrible."

"You've got a lover already?" She sighed. "It must be going badly though, since you were so easy last night. Really easy."

Cade felt his face going red. "No. It's something bigger than that."

She laughed and he saw her two rows of teeth again. She made a sudden grab for his crotch. "As big as that?"

He jumped up, fighting her off, but not quite enough to repel her. "Do that again and I'm walking out of here," he said.

"Please don't leave me now! I love you!" she wailed melodramatically. Her laughter echoed in the stairwell. She slipped an arm around his elbow as they descended and it felt as if they'd always been so familiar. "Oh, and my name is Nadina. You'd forgotten, hadn't you?"

They walked through the city and Cade explained the Monastery, carefully avoiding any details about brain-pins, fighting, or spying. They headed uptown towards the green promenades, which made Cade think of the wild country. He told her of the mountains, the roaring streams, the Safekeep harvest festivals. Her eyes shone and her arm twined tighter around his.

"It sounds like a great holiday place!" she said.

"Do you ever leave Hedona?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I like it here. Besides, it's too expensive to get away."

"How do you make your money? Does your family support you?"

"Not much," Her hand went slacker in his. "I get occasional work."

The last shreds of the Monastery's morals rose up inside him. He had been with a whore!

"It's not like that." she said hurriedly. "I never do anything with them. I go to a bar, convince them to go to an address, then leave. When they get there, instead of me they find a few men with assault rifles - I'm sure they get the biggest shock of their life! I get a few hundred dollars pushed under my door if they get them."

Cade began considering the earliest opportunity he could slip away. The talk of guns and killing had chased away the last shreds of his lust. "And you think that's better than being a whore?"

"The targets are always soldiers or guards, so I think that I'm cleaning up some of the bad people in Hedona."

"So who paid you to come after me yesterday?"

"Nobody." She looked down uncertainly. "I was taking the night off when I saw you."

Her words set off a rush that felt so close to Connection that he almost reached for his neck to turn it off. What she did was no different from him – working to bring down Hedona. And she wanted him! It had to fit in with the Monastery's teachings, somehow. If only he could convince the Masters, to Connect, bare his thoughts, and let them see for themselves?

"Why do you want this, when you don't even know me?"

"Bodies don't lie – their dance is the only thing you can trust. I know you deeper than words, already."

"Don't leave me," he said without thinking. It sounded awkward, so he continued the sentence. "You've given me too much to think about."

She collapsed onto the grass, bringing him down heavily on top of her, her face in his. The faint markings which striped her face were no longer strange, but delicately beautiful.

She spoke softly. "You think too much. Your thoughts are so tangled!"

"That's called self control. It keeps me out of trouble." he said wryly.

She gripped him by the shoulders. "One part of the world has split off and become Nadina and another part has become Cade! Those two little worlds have come together for a one-show-only, sold-out, party of a lifetime! I saw what you really wanted last night. You don't want peace and harmony and a sensible world. You just want good, hard sex!"

He waited for a retort to spring to his lips, but none came. "Let's go back to my place," he said. Her eyes showed that this was one idea she agreed with.

Chapter 15

For days he wandered the streets of Hedona, hand-in-hand with Nadina. They interrogated each other on the details of their lives, devouring knowledge of each other as if making up for a lifetime of missed intimacy. When they weren't walking, talking, or eating, they were making love. He soon learned how to drive Nadina to an explosive climax, time and time again, only stopping when he was drained and exhausted, and then she would do the same to him.

He had never known such contentment; whether he was full of lust, or languid after fulfilling it. While his attention was fully upon pushing her towards a peak of pleasure then joining her there, all his anxieties disappeared. They orchestrated their pleasure in every configuration possible: in their beds, over the furniture, and in deserted alleyways wherever the urge took them.

It was weeks before reality intruded into their bedroom one morning. Cade's guilt finally won over his lust. The Masters would be furious with his Connection silence; delaying contact any longer would only make things worse. He gently disentangled himself from Nadina's arms. She continued to sleep, wearing the same half-smile she normally wore when awake. She looked unbearably beautiful, and he fought the urge to slide back into bed beside her.

He wandered to a neighbourhood of the city, as if to distance himself from the physical evidence of his crimes. He flicked his hand behind his neck and the Connection burst out like streams of water from a punctured tank. All around he felt the jostling, turned-in Hedonan minds and he streamed past them, seeking a solid, life-giving Connection. Past the city, into the mountains, where a multitude of animal minds glittered like sparks. Mind stretched as thin as spider-web, draped over the mountains, trailing to the city. _My_ _mind._ There was a tug at the strands of Connection.

"Cade!" The thought gripped his attention, drawing the billion threads of Connection into one. "What happened?"

Lendora! Her mind pressed against his. He instantly forgot his excuses as he felt the mind of his old friend. I have to get out!

A warm wave washed over him, setting every nerve tingling, flooding away the poison in his chest. Cade hurled out his anguish in a flood which almost stifled the Connection. _What_ _will_ _happen_ _to_ _me_ _now?_

"I'll do my best to defend you. I have to go now, the others are coming!"

Lendora's presence faded and Cade waited a moment, his unseeing eyes gradually refocusing. Stained, cracked concrete, crumbling bricks. A rivulet of oily water trickling beside his head. _What?_ _I_ _'_ _m_ _on_ _the_ _ground._ He recognised his own limp arm stretched out in front of him, palm upwards. A cockroach clambered over it and its prickly legs jolted him into the present. _Passed_ _out_ _in_ _a_ _filthy_ _Hedonan_ _gutter._ _Why_ _am_ _I_ _in_ _Hedona,_ _anyway?_ _Aren_ _'_ _t_ _I_ _a_ _priest?_ Then the memories from his entire time in Hedona rushed back.

His first attempt to rise made sparks dance in his vision. His head lolled towards the sky and it seemed that the buildings were standing over him and staring down angrily, their black windows as eyes. He strained to move his arm behind his neck and throw off the choke-hold of the Connection, but his limbs refused to obey. He needed Lendora back in his head.

A tidal wave of Connection slammed him into the cement. "Cade! Defiler of the Connection!" It was Great Master and Lance, their Connections pouring into his mind like hot lead. "We are coming to Hedona right now to drag you back up the mountain, so we can hammer this evil out of you!"

They coursed through his mind, ransacking his thoughts with an increasing fury as they learnt the depths of his corruption. They ripped every remorse from his memory and hurled them back at him.

There was an almost audible snap, as intensely painful as if one of his limbs had dislocated, then a blissful release. He had passed a threshold where he could be debased and prised apart no further. What had he done wrong? In Hedona he lived with realities that the Masters could never understand. He unsteadily rose to his feet and wiped his hands on his trousers. He staggered towards the sunlit street at the end of the alley. The minds of the Masters buzzed with indignation. He collected his awareness and swept them away with a few thoughts.

I am not a tool for you to use! One day you'll come out from behind the Monastery walls and see that there's more to life than Connection. Now, I need to get some breakfast. Goodbye!

He raised his hand to de-Activate. He was dizzy and Disconnected from his body, as if it was someone else's. He emerged from the alleyway into the bustling street, where food sellers yelled above the din. He would feel ten times better once he filled his stomach, then he would head to the safe-house and think what to do next.

Cade recognised the street he was on - it cut straight through to the promenade district. It would be quicker to cut through the back streets and alleys, but in his dazed state, he decided to stick to familiar paths and follow the promenade to the safe-house.

When he reached the safe-house, Nadina was still in bed, but her eyes blearily opened as he entered. She unsteadily rose out of bed, stretched like a cat, and sat on the sill of the open window, her tousled hair glowing in the sun. Her contented smile wavered, then dropped.

"Cade! We're being watched! Look - soldiers at the corner. This is a gang-controlled region – troops would never dare to come here without a good reason."

Had they seen him Connect? He saw a flash of his future, bound and splayed wide on an operating table, a masked doctor leaning over him with a bone saw.

"Do you think they are after us?"

"I kill Hedonan commanders for a living. I'm not going to wait around and find out!"

"Do you know anywhere safe we can go?"

"You should go back to the mountains, to the waterfalls and your friends," she said, eyes shiny with tears.

He ignored her words. The memories of the previous nights were his reality now. He had escaped from the cramped, dark prison of his old life and he could never go back.

"No, I'm coming with you. Let's take what we can from here," he said. "Can you shoot?"

"Well enough."

Cade revealed the hidden weapon rack, loaded with guns and knives. "Anything you want?"

Nadina's eyes widened at the formidable sight. "I'll leave them. I know how to use my one best."

Cade peered around the edge of the window from the shadowed end of the room. Two guards stood at the crossroads. He could pick off one with a high-powered rifle if he was lucky. But the other would run for help and troops would swarm up the stairs before he had a chance to get clear.

He Activated briefly, letting the Memory select a weapon from the rack for him. He grasped a slender stiletto dagger with a long, triangular blade; ideal for punching through body armour. He stared at the puny knife, wondering what a boy like him could do against modern soldiers.

"We can't murder anyone." Nadina said. "They would level a whole block of buildings to get the killer of one of their own."

"We'll try and lose them in the crowds." he said. "If we can't – I have the knife."

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "You should just go."

Her eyes pleaded with him to ignore the sense in her words and he embraced her fiercely as an answer. Opening the door softly, they crept down the stairs. Cade's heart thudded faster at each step, pumping adrenaline all the way to his shaking fingertips.

"I'll go first to make sure it's all clear," he whispered. "When I give the signal, join me."

He strode across the lobby, feeling exposed in the bright daylight. He opened the door and stepped onto the crowded street, the door swinging closed behind him. The guards were still in the same place. Watching him.

He turned to signal Nadina. She was gone. He yanked at the door. Locked. He flung away his last shreds of self-control and scrabbled at the barrier like a panicked animal. There was a muffled scream and a door slammed within the building. He fumbled for his keys.

Without warning, twin comets seared through his eyes. He collapsed, screaming, clawing at his face. As he gasped, fire was sucked into his chest, burning him inside until he felt his lungs char and blacken. _Chemical_ _spray!_ A boot rammed up under his ribs and pain rolled through his stomach in waves, driving the air from him. He curled into a ball, cowering from the next blow. Pain kept his eyes clamped shut. He was wrenched to his feet as if he weighed nothing and hung limply from his captor's grip. His nose cracked as he was pinned face-first against the door.

The Hedonan accent was brutal. "We've got you, and your whore!" Cade felt the hot breath on his ear as the guard leaned closer. "We need to keep you fresh for the doctors, but we can mess her up as much as we want!" Cade struggled to free his shoulders, but the guard's grip was solid. He wheezed heavily, beaten and slack.

"That's right, be a good boy and we won't have to spray you again!"

Cade's arms were forced behind his head, over the scar on the base of his skull. _Oh,_ _thank_ _you!_ The touch made the Connection blossom and his mind fled his pain-wracked body. _Two_ _of_ _them._ One on each shoulder. He was aware of himself pinned beneath them, broken and weak. He smelled his own sweat in the nostrils of his captors, mixed with the sharp sting of the chemicals. Their bodies hummed with the excitement of a successful hunt. It had been easy - one unarmed boy against two soldiers. But something was wrong, a vague uneasiness that stole some of the sweetness of the conquest.

Cade realised what it was before his attackers did. He slammed his left elbow down, hitting the trigger of the rifle slung around the soldier's neck. The thunder-crack of the weapon exploded inside his head, momentarily scattering the Connection and filling his ears and mouth with its choking fumes. Cade's awareness slid along the Connection, swimming in the shock and confusion of his captors. _Never_ _forget_ _the_ _safety_ _catch!_ He slipped from under their grasp, flowing like water around their lumbering bodies. His awareness flickered - his body and mind had been damaged. Blinded by the chemical spray and the blast of the rifle, he crawled his awareness over the guards. _There!_

One of them had been shot in the chest recently. The bullet had not penetrated his armour, but several times the guard had woken in the night, sweating from the same nightmare.

He relived that sledgehammer blow as the bullet struck his chest, and felt the crackling as the plates in the vest degraded. _I_ _'_ _ll_ _exchange_ _it_ _for_ _a_ _fresh_ _jacket_ _next_ _week,_ _then_ _I_ _'_ _ll_ _feel_ _better._ Cade's stiletto plunged to its mark, the thin blade puncturing the remaining shell of armour and biting deeply into flesh. The man's awareness dissipated and Cade turned to the second guard.

_This_ _bastard_ _is_ _fast_ _–_ _take_ _him_ _down_ _–_ _forget_ _orders!_ Bullets split the air around Cade as he fled from the man's awareness, weaving around the gun's line of sight. Not fast enough. Cade felt a hard punch to his stomach, followed by a rippling, numbing flood of heat. He recovered, and in a single movement, shoved the guard's weapon away and buried his blade in the man's neck.

Hot liquid spurted over his hand.

Nadina! Her terror was spilling out in waves, dragging his awareness towards her. His breath rattling and his back pressed against the brick wall, he quested out and grasped her mind.

Rope bit into her wrists, tearing at skin and nerve. She was lying in a cramped seat, with windows above her. A motor carriage! It was in the alley beside the building, its engine running hot and ready. Two more guards were in the vehicle. He pulled a rifle from the grasp of a dead guard and raced into the alley beside the safe-house building. He halted momentarily, his head swimming.

He could not see. He heard liquid pattering on the road as a leaking pipe disgorged its contents. There was a gravel-spinning of tyres and the roar of the motor carriage's engine as its driver saw him. He was guided only by the Connection, and the eyes and thoughts of the guards he was pursuing.

_How_ _do_ _you_ _stop_ _a_ _motor_ _carriage?_ He crouched into a firing position and focused his awareness through his hands into the warm metal of the rifle. He felt the attention of Nadina's captors, burning with vulnerability and the desire to flee. Cade dropped to one knee and lowered his head, trusting the Connection. The rifle shots hammered his ears in short bursts of three, just as he had been taught. The gun bucked in his hands and jarred his shoulder. The men's fear guided his hands and bullets tore through the rear tyres of the vehicle. He heard the screech of rubber and a deafening crash as the motor carriage careened off the road and into the side of the building.

His mind raced ahead of him as he ran, sending its tendrils deep into the thoughts of his opponents, drunk with their fear and panic. He leapt into the vehicle, funnelling his intentions through the dagger, letting it become an extension of his mind. The men died, their last terrified thoughts fading like echoes. Cade flung his awareness wider, looking for further threats. One of the soldiers was fleeing, his mind almost lost in the panic of passers-by on the main road.

Something else clutched at his awareness, a plaintive call barely heard over the storm of his rage. "Cade! They're gone! Untie me!" Cade de-Activated and collapsed on top of Nadina in the back seat of the carriage.

His face was crawling with white-hot chemicals and he felt as if every part of him had been beaten. His entire abdomen was numb to the touch and tugged strangely at the flesh surrounding it. Cade pushed the pain from his mind until it no longer dominated his reality. With difficulty he rose to his knees and groped for Nadina's bonds. Her fingers grasped his and he felt for the rope which crushed the soft flesh of her wrists. He sawed at the knot with one triangular edge of the stiletto. It snapped free and Nadina clung to him, her hot tears wetting his cheeks as she shuddered, sobbing.

"Cade! What they were going to do to me..."

"They're gone. All of them." Cade held her, panting in exhaustion. "But we need to get out of here."

"They're all dead?"

"Absolutely." He tried to turn towards the door and an icy hand tugged at his stomach.

Nadina gasped. "Cade! What's happened to your face?" He felt her cool hands on his cheeks. "And your stomach?"

"They sprayed me with chemicals. I can't see, so you'll need to lead me. And I got shot, but I don't think it's too bad." While cataloguing his own injuries, he recalled the deep bite of the rope around Nadina's wrists. "How are you?"

"It's nothing, just a few bruises. I think they were saving me for later." She eased him out of the wrecked vehicle and lay him gently beside the gutter on a flattened cardboard box. "I'll be back soon!"

He heard her running steps fade into the distance, yet he had no doubt that she would return. What would a Master do in the same situation? If she was the one stricken and helpless, his Monastery training would have told him to abandon her; it wasn't worth jeopardising the entire Monastery for one person. It was the logical decision, perfectly reasonable, yet completely wrong.

The irrational loyalty of Nadina towards him, made him feel uncomfortable in his own skin. Why did his love flee so quickly when faced with the need for self-preservation?

Just as Cade felt that his pain was about to swallow him forever, she returned. Cool water flowed down his face, instantly extinguishing the fire-pits that were his eyes and nostrils. Nadina gently towelled his face dry. His eyelids were swollen shut like fat sausages, but the pain was gone. He smiled at her and she squeezed his hand encouragingly.

She lifted his shirt and he heard her sharp intake of breath.

"Is it bad?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"There's a lot of blood." She paused and he felt her turn away. "Cade, I don't know what to do – it's horrible!" Cade felt gingerly around the wound, his skin sticky with blood. The bullet had only clipped him, but had torn a ragged slash across his abdomen. He rose shakily to his feet and raised his arms as Nadina wound a bandage around his waist. He winced at the first touch of cloth against the gaping flesh.

"Can your assassin friends get us out of this?" Cade asked as she bound his wound.

"I couldn't contact them if I wanted to. All I know is that they are not Hedonans and they are very secretive. I'm sure they would rather hand us over than risk an all-out war with the army. We need to run."

Cade could think of nothing better. He imagined the ugly, sky-grasping Hedonan buildings receding to a grey blot on the horizon behind him, gone forever. "Are you fine with leaving?"

She clicked her tongue against her teeth, the Hedonan equivalent of a shrug. "There'll be other places just as fun."

Cade marvelled at how she had been cowering in a bullet-riddled carriage only moments before, but as soon as all the reminders of the incident were bandaged up and out of sight, the events were already behind her. He made a spontaneous decision. "Do you want to come to the mountains with me?"

She gave an explosive, mocking laugh. "What, dig dirt in some village?" She finished winding the bandage and tucked in the loose end. "There's only one place to run to from Hedona and only one way to get there."

"Where?"

"I'll show you!"

Cade took her hand. She was the only part of his life that he didn't want to leave behind. She pulled him towards the bustling main street. "Let's go. We don't want to miss our train!"
Chapter 16

_The_ _pain_ _wasn_ _'_ _t_ _so_ _bad_ _now,_ _just_ _a_ _dull_ _ache_ _which_ _he_ _had_ _grown_ _used_ _to._ _At_ _first_ _he_ _had_ _screamed_ _when_ _the_ _rock_ _slide_ _crushed_ _his_ _leg._ _He_ _had_ _hammered_ _at_ _the_ _boulder_ _with_ _his_ _skinny_ _fists_ _until_ _he_ _bled._ _But_ _it_ _was_ _too_ _big._ _He_ _called_ _and_ _called_ _for_ _his_ _mother,_ _but_ _she_ _didn_ _'_ _t_ _come._

_He_ _thought_ _about_ _the_ _hours_ _that_ _he_ _used_ _to_ _spend_ _with_ _his_ _seven_ _brothers_ _and_ _sisters._ _They_ _used_ _to_ _make_ _baskets_ _out_ _of_ _the_ _river_ _grasses,_ _still_ _wet_ _from_ _the_ _river._ _Then_ _mother_ _would_ _take_ _the_ _baskets_ _to_ _the_ _village_ _market_ _to_ _sell._ _It_ _took_ _all_ _his_ _effort_ _to_ _weave_ _the_ _baskets_ _just_ _how_ _mother_ _liked_ _them._ _Even_ _then,_ _the_ _reeds_ _often_ _flicked_ _out_ _of_ _his_ _grasp._ _He_ _always_ _felt_ _stupid_ _and_ _weak_ _around_ _the_ _other_ _children._ _They_ _wove_ _the_ _baskets_ _as_ _naturally_ _as_ _could_ _be,_ _as_ _if_ _they_ _were_ _made_ _for_ _the_ _task,_ _and_ _chatted_ _and_ _laughed_ _as_ _they_ _went._

_Mother_ _always_ _said:_ _"_ _Ricky,_ _you_ _are_ _the_ _clumsy_ _one!_ _But_ _you_ _are_ _special._ _"_ _Sometimes_ _mother_ _yelled_ _at_ _him_ _not_ _to_ _be_ _so_ _stupid._ _But_ _he_ _knew_ _that_ _she_ _loved_ _him,_ _because_ _she_ _always_ _smiled_ _eventually_ _and_ _then_ _everything_ _would_ _be_ _good_ _again._

_On_ _sunny_ _days_ _they_ _lay_ _on_ _the_ _grass_ _outside_ _their_ _hut_ _to_ _work_ _on_ _their_ _baskets,_ _watching_ _the_ _dragonflies_ _skitter_ _across_ _the_ _surface_ _of_ _the_ _stream._ _And_ _when_ _it_ _was_ _raining_ _they_ _sat_ _cross-legged_ _on_ _the_ _clay_ _floor_ _inside,_ _huddled_ _around_ _the_ _roaring_ _fire._ _His_ _sisters_ _used_ _to_ _collect_ _the_ _reeds_ _from_ _far_ _down_ _the_ _river_ _where_ _they_ _were_ _the_ _thickest_ _and_ _strongest._ _Sometimes_ _he_ _would_ _go_ _too._ _That_ _was_ _how_ _he_ _got_ _lost_ _and_ _hurt_ _his_ _leg._ _Now_ _he_ _was_ _cold_ _and_ _hungry_ _and_ _alone._

_It_ _started_ _raining._ _The_ _icy_ _water_ _ran_ _down_ _his_ _face_ _and_ _he_ _didn_ _'_ _t_ _know_ _which_ _drops_ _were_ _tears_ _and_ _which_ _were_ _rain._
Chapter 17

Cade's sight had recovered by the time they entered the station, but his eyes watered at the scale of the building's interior. The arching metal roof seemed as high as the dome of the sky. The station ended in a wall of windows, which showed the silhouette of the Hedonan skyline though layers of dust and grime. Some of the metal sheets that made up the ceiling were peeling loose. Shafts of sunlight reached through the gaps, making the dusty air glitter before picking out the cracked cement floor below.

A huge clock was suspended above Cade and Nadina, with both hands hanging limply towards six. They stood on an iron latticed platform that ran the length of the station, suspended above the engine bays. Below them, the trains glowered and belched smoke and steam, their hisses reverberating off stone and steel. Everywhere below them people milled about: leaving, arriving, waiting.

"Which one?" Cade yelled over the roaring steam.

"That one - the Darklander!" Nadina motioned towards an engine much larger than the others. It squatted at the end of the station and exhaled steam in slow bursts like a sleeping dragon. The engine lacked a smoke chimney and fuel carriages, and its surface was a patchwork of rusted iron and dull lead plates riveted haphazardly over its boilers. He guessed that the heavy plates were shielding a glowing heart of nuclear fuel inside the engine, which would generate steam in the same manner as wood or coal.

Cade glanced at Nadina. Her marked face and dark eyes were unfamiliar and unattractive, as if they were a stranger's. It was as if his drive for survival had beaten down his other desires, leaving only the urge to ditch her and flee for the mountains alone. The station would be the first place the Hedonans would search for them; Nadina's original plan to split up was the best option. Her slender hand tugged at his wrist.

"Come on! We're going to miss it!" Reluctantly, he let himself be led. Her presence polluted his ability to think rationally. "We have to go! They'll kill us if we stay here!"

_No_ _less_ _surely_ _than_ _radiation_ _poisoning,_ thought Cade. They clattered down the steps and approached the great black flank of the Darklander. A metal wedge jutted from the front of the engine to sweep away obstacles, but the hurtling mass of lead and iron would be able to hit almost anything and continue without slowing.

Nadina leapt onto the carriage, then reached down to help Cade. The carriage was bare, except for hooks which swung from the ceiling to provide places for luggage. In the corner was a dirty blanket, half-covering the carriage's only other occupant. Cade saw a threatening lump shift beneath the coverings.

"We won't hurt you," Cade said. "You won't need your gun."

A grim smile flickered over the old man's stubbled face. "Are you sure about that? I've been riding the Darklander for years and I've never failed to use it!"

Nadina let her bag slide to the floor. She spoke softly, with a hint of malice. "All we want to do is survive this trip - and I'm sure you do too."

The man chuckled and the gun's bulge disappeared. "Well, I can't help but trust a pretty face. And I've had worse company on this trip."

"I'm Nadina," she said, sitting at a bench in the middle of the carriage. "And this is Cade."

"You can call me whatever you like," the man replied, scratching at his scalp beneath long grey hair.

Cade sat next to Nadina. The carriage gave a lurch and the station's rusted girders and mildewed stone began sliding past the windows. Conversation kindled and warmed as crumbling cement walls and black canals streaked past them. The man was eager to boast about his previous trips on the Darklander.

"First, you need a gun or a knife." he said, "Then it's what you don't have that matters: money, drugs, looks. Leave them behind, because you won't keep them for long here."

Cade patted the bandage under his shirt. "Compared to what we've dealt with today, I don't think a few bandits are going to cause us much trouble."

A grim smile twisted the man's mouth. "Bandits? Two gangs who work this train: the ticket collectors, who collect everything else besides tickets, and everyone else who is trying to lighten your load before the collectors do." He gestured at the grassland racing past outside the window. "There's no escape, you see."

"People must have good reasons for making such a journey."

"So what's yours?"

The man had no reason to know their plans, but he might be able to help them at the other end. "We have to get away from Hedona."

"Hah! Seems like everyone's either trying to get into the city, or to escape it. So you made a powerful enemy?" He gave Nadina an appraising glance. "Or did you steal someone's woman?"

Cade was silent for a moment, refusing to rise to the bait. "What's it like at the other end of the Darklands?"

"Hah!" the man guffawed. "It's as bad as Hedona, otherwise I wouldn't keep travelling between them! You'll see for yourself, soon enough."

Cade leaned out the window, the wind snatching at his shirt as he squinted back along the tracks. The twin silver lines stretched to the horizon where Hedona's towers clustered like a distant grey forest. The city and its terrible memories receded further into the past with every sleeper that snapped past beneath them. Ahead, the horizon was flat and empty - a void waiting to be filled with new possibilities.

Their talk died as evening shadows stretched over the grasslands and low rubble of the Hedonan plains. The old man settled in the corner and pulled his blanket over his head. Cade lay on his side and watched the doorway, while Nadina nestled behind him with one smooth arm draped over his waist. If they were attacked, he could use the Connection. But this would be little defence for Nadina or their travel companion. Nadina's revolver was tucked into the waist of her trousers; he felt the barrel pressing into the small of his back. She knew how to shoot and the old man was armed, but they would be out-gunned by any serious gang of thieves. Being passed over in preference of easier prey was their main hope of avoiding trouble.

"Can I sleep?" Nadina asked softly, toying with his limp hand.

He murmured his assent and she fitted the curves of her body into his. He felt the rise and fall of her chest against him and her warmth filled him. Yet within his chest was a heaviness that would not disappear. He didn't know if it was fatigue or fear, or the Monastery's legacy of solitude that fought against her presence. He looked within himself for some profound feeling towards her and found only a fleeting lust for her body. How genuine could his feelings be if they disappeared under the slightest stress?

"Am I hurting your stomach?" she asked, sensing his tension.

He shook his head. "I just hope we don't have any problems tonight."

"Thinking about them won't stop them happening. Relax."

"How can I relax? What if I miss something?"

She slapped him softly on the arm. "You think too much."

"But I don't know what to think any more! About the Monastery. Hedona. You. My life has changed so much in the last few months."

"Well, you should think about not doing that trick with your neck. It's making you go crazy!"

Cade rolled away. "If I hadn't Connected today, we'd both be dead, or worse. I need Connection to protect us, to destroy my sense of self, my selfish thoughts."

She lowered her voice and placed her cheek warmly against Cade's neck. "Every self-killer that I've met, there's always been something they are trying to escape. What are you scared of?"

"I don't feel fear like others do," he said, recalling his Monastery training. "When we are Connected we are nothing. By being nothing, we become everything."

"There's plenty of time to be nothing. Why not save that until you're dead, and do some living in the meantime? You know what I think you are scared of? Of being scared. Of being hurt."

She slid her hand up under his shirt. She dug her nails into his skin and dragged five burning trails down his back. "We pretend pain doesn't exist. We ignore it in other people. But sometimes pain makes things better, if we accept it!"

She punctuated her words with a sudden flick downwards and his back was on fire. Her nails scratched deeper than the surface of his skin, to a part of him that he had never found in the deepest meditations. His words came after a profound silence. "Nothing scares me more than the thought that I keep changing into a different person every week. What if one day, I wake up not loving you?"

She gave him a hard, wet kiss on the neck as an answer and settled with her arm draped over his waist. At that moment, trapped inside a pile of metal hurtling through the Darklands, pursued by his former friends and an entire army, Cade was more content than he had been since he was a carefree child. At least one person in the world understood him, even though that person wasn't himself.

The throb of the engine and the rhythmic clacking of the tracks made his eyelids heavy, so he kept his mind on their situation. He didn't need to Activate to see that their travel companion didn't have the best intentions, but he was also outnumbered and more vulnerable than them. Cade shifted his hip into a dent in the floor panels and kept his eyes fixed on the doorway.

Warmth welled up from deep within the metal, adding to Nadina's, so even though a crisp wind whistled through the carriage, he was drowsily warm. Electric lights winked to life in the ceiling, casting a claustrophobic pall over the carriage. The windows gradually filled with a featureless black, speckled with stars, while the plains whipped by unseen in the darkness.

Cade had no idea how much time had passed before the old man stirred. He motioned that he would take over the watch and Cade closed his eyes and rested his head more comfortably in the crook of his elbow. The soothing rhythms of the train and the security of Nadina's embrace pulled him gently towards sleep.

The clatter of boots in the next carriage jolted him awake. He leapt to his feet, his racing heart pumping adrenaline to his sleep-fuzzed mind. The man was gone. He shook Nadina and she stirred with a moan.

"Someone's coming!" he whispered. They staggered to the place where the old man had slept, ready to surprise whoever came through the door.

Nadina's hair was caught between her lips and stuck in her lashes. She raked it out of her face and fumbled at her belt for her revolver. She appeared to draw confidence from the touch of the metal.

"Are you going to do your mind thing?"

She clicked the safety catch. Cade reached behind his head and his awareness blossomed around him. He sensed nothing in the emptiness of the Darklands, only the red-hot spikes of their enemies closing in.

"Four of them. Dangerous. Professional."

The soldiers poured into the carriage as he spoke, their black flak jackets and domed helmets terrifying. Cade's Memory mechanically noted the names and effective ranges of their rifles as he slipped into the combat state. The barren Darklands did not contain a single spark of life. With no Connection to orient himself, he was a man drowning, with no daylight to guide him upwards. The soldiers' forms were a meaningless mosaic of colours and shapes.

He waited for the bullets to shred him, to blow his weary mind into the oblivion from which it had been born. But he would be without Nadina. He took her in his arms and struggled to bring her face into focus. He saw tears standing in her eyes and beading on her lashes. He drank in the ebb and flow of her body: her shoulders, her forearms, the graceful fingers which trembled as they gripped the revolver. His mind touched hers and he shared the sorrow that marred her world.

"Goodbye," she whispered. She wrapped cool arms about his neck and her lips touched his, as softly as a breath.

Her touch flooded him, pushing the tendrils of Connection into his core, like shadows shrinking before the rising sun. Everything crystallised, enriching every detail of the world. A soldier's pale face was blue in the cold electric lighting, his lips clamped into a thin line. The hard eyes burned behind the sights of the rifle and the skin whitened across the knuckle of the man's trigger finger.

The Connection was no longer questing outwards, but inwards. It coursed through Cade's veins, finding every part of his body with threads of fire. Like a blazing sun, it lit up the only true world, his world, the one within his skin. And these _nothings_ were trying to take that away!

He reached for the four minds that encircled his. He grasped them with his Connection, like a man gathering a handful of grass stalks. He marvelled at what he held. So simple, so fragile. The threads of their minds squirmed in his grasp like worms. Their writhing increased as they became aware of his influence.

He tore their thoughts out. Their minds strained and popped out and he cast the remnants away. The men's bodies remained as gutted shells, empty of thought.

There was another. It smashed his mind like a sledgehammer blow.

"Hey, you, stop yelling!" The words pummelled his brain one by one, sharp-edged and buzzing. "Please, nobody's come this way for so long – can you come and help me?"

Cade felt as if he had been dropped. He barely had time to swing his hand behind his head to de-Activate as he fell backwards, his head clanging against the metal floor like a bell. He lay slack and broken, with the pulse of the Darklander's engine thrumming through him. The luggage straps reached for him from the roof, swaying as if he was floating over a bed of inverted seaweed. His head felt as if it was being crushed between two rocks. Nadina kneeled over him with her fists pressed to her temples and her teeth clenched in agony. He tried to move, but the rocks redoubled their pressure on his skull and his vision dimmed at the edges. Nadina put her arms under his shoulders and lifted him into a sitting position. The four attackers writhed on the ground like eels.

"What happened?" She almost cried as she spoke. "My head is bursting!"

"I don't know – the Connection's not supposed to do that," he said. "Someone stopped me from going further. Another Master, out in the Darklands. Powerful."

She lowered his head into her lap and stroked his hair until the pain in his head became a dull ache. The men had stopped their spasms, but continued to breathe as if in a deep sleep. This time he hadn't killed anyone.

Their attackers wore black armoured uniforms and steel helmets. These were elite soldiers, not bandits. Cade and Nadina had been discovered, and their destination would now be as dangerous as Hedona. Cade struggled to his feet. "We have to do something."

Cade untangled a backpack from one man's limp arms and shook his black jacket from his shoulders. He stepped over the bodies and opened the door between the carriages. The deafening clatter of the train became louder and the freezing night air whipped through his hair. A small walkway connected the carriages and he leaned over its metal rail. The tracks snapped past in a blur.

"We're coming to a bend," he yelled. "I can jump clear and roll down the bank."

"You'll die!" she screamed at him.

"I'll die anyway - they'll be waiting for me at the other end! You'll have a chance without me!"

The brakes engaged, shrieking and sparking, and the tempo of the engine dropped. Cade climbed over the rail, the ground racing beneath his heels. He tossed the bag into the night. He trembled with more than anticipation of the jump; he was jumping into a world without Nadina, a world where her survival would not be bound to his.

"This has gone too far. I have to go!"

He rocked to and fro, gathering the momentum to hurl himself clear. He took a last glance at Nadina. She looked strangely dispassionate.

He launched himself clear of the train, curling into a ball. For a moment he was weightless, then a hundred jagged rocks found his most tender spots, over and over again, as he flipped and tumbled to a stop. He uncoiled slowly. He flexed one hand, then the other, then both legs. He gingerly explored his body with his fingers. No broken bones, only bruises. He lay still as the rumble of the train faded into silence.

The slap of sodden shoes on rocks approached and the silhouette of Nadina appeared against the wash of stars, her clothes clinging wetly and her hair plastered to her face.

She had one of the jackets from the soldiers, but it was much too large and hung unevenly from her shoulders, making her look like a child playing dress-ups.

"You should have waited. The track went over a stream."

She flopped down beside him, showering him with droplets. "I almost hope you've hurt yourself this time. It might slow you down a bit."

He stood unsteadily. "You should have stayed. They wanted me."

She looked to where the train had disappeared into the night, leaving a velvety silence. "I can look after myself."

Part of Cade despaired at the thought of having to watch Nadina die in the Darklands. The sadness was almost as strong as the joy of having her beside him still. Nadina shifted her weight to one hip and looked along the tracks, the twin lines shining coldly in the starlight. "So why did you decide to stop in the middle of the Darklands, weeks from anywhere?"

"I felt another Master out here." As the words left his lips, their certainty evaporated in the bleak endlessness of the Darklands. Its flatness was not broken by a single tree or building. Had the other Master been a vision brought on by the Connection? He reached for his neck and his Connection streamed out, ragged and weak after his exertions. He flinched as the strange Master hammered him with powerful cries.

"Cade!" the voice called. "Over here!"

Cade scanned the horizon, squinting in the starlight in an attempt to match his Connection sense with any landmarks. The horizon was empty, but as he walked away from the tracks the voice grew imperceptibly louder.

_Stay_ _where_ _you_ _are,_ Cade thought.

A tidal wave of gratitude rushed along the Connection in response.

_Who_ _are_ _you?_ Cade asked.

"Ricky!"

Cade de-Activated the brain-pin. Stabs of pain in his temples beat time for the black worms which writhed at the edges of his vision.

"He's called Ricky. I think I know the way, but I don't want to use the brain-pin for a while. I've had enough of it for one day."

"So have I," Nadina said with a sigh, resting her arm on his shoulder as they walked along the tracks to collect the bag. "What happened in the carriage? It felt like punch in the back of the head!"

"I'm not sure. Usually, the Connection makes you feel so spread out that you don't really know what you're doing." He paused. "But I thought of you and it pulled me back into myself. I felt as if we were at the centre of the universe, with everything else turning around us."

She slipped her arm around his waist. "That's how you make me feel too!"
Chapter 18

_Ricky_ _trembled_ _with_ _excitement._ _He_ _'_ _d_ _always_ _known_ _that_ _if_ _he_ _waited_ _long_ _enough,_ _someone_ _would_ _come_ _for_ _him!_ _Was_ _Cade_ _a_ _friend_ _of_ _Mother_ _'_ _s?_ _He_ _didn_ _'_ _t_ _know,_ _but_ _he_ _knew_ _that_ _Cade_ _was_ _a_ _nice_ _man._ _Cade_ _had_ _stopped_ _talking_ _now_ _-_ _his_ _voice_ _must_ _be_ _sore_ _after_ _shouting_ _so_ _loudly_ _at_ _the_ _bad_ _men._ _He_ _was_ _a_ _grown-up._ _G_ _rown-ups_ _always_ _k_ _new_ _what_ _to_ _do._
Chapter 19

Cade and Nadina walked back along the tracks until they found the guard's bag that he had thrown clear of the train. Cade rummaged through it by touch: a coil of rope, a half-empty bottle of water, a box of matches, two rifle magazines, a lump of hard bread and a few foil packages of Hedonan food. He pocketed the matches and tossed away the bullets, as the shells were too large for Nadina's pistol.

There were no buildings, no trees, no peaks to guide them. The land below the horizon was perfectly black, as if a giant sword cut had removed the lower half of the world. Above, the arc of the Milky Way was dusted grey with stars, brighter and denser than he had ever seen. Even the tiniest stars shone unwaveringly, like nail-holes punched in a sheet of black tin. There was a distinctive group of stars in the direction that Ricky had called from. Cade headed towards them, setting a brisk pace to keep away the cold. Nadina walked beside him with her teeth chattering and arms clamped across her chest.

They left the area that had been flattened for the railway's construction and found themselves stumbling over ancient chunks of masonry. As Cade's eyes adjusted to the starlight, the terrain revealed more features - the remains of ancient buildings, scattered about and gradually crumbling into the dust of the plains.

Nadina's shivering became worse, so Cade gave her his dry jacket and shirt. He wrung her sodden clothes as they walked, the freezing air prickling his bare skin.

"Thanks," she said. "So how do you know this Darkland priest will want to help us?"

"His Connection is strong. Another Master would never turn us away."

"So the deeper he's into this priesthood thing, the nicer he must be?"

"Yes."

"Or are we going to find him running around crazy, shooting at everything that moves like you do?"

He restrained his anger and forced himself to consider her words. The Connection was a pure torrent of Truth – yet it sometimes manifested itself in unsettling ways. What if they stumbled upon nothing more than a deranged hermit?

"The Connection always acts for the good of all. I've touched Ricky's mind and he has no ill intentions towards us, or anybody."

"I hope you're right. So far it's brought us nothing but trouble."

He couldn't argue with that. If it hadn't been for the brain-pin he'd still be within the protective walls of the Monastery, with no greater worry than what the next meal would be. Nadina would be living one day to the next, unaware of the world that lay beyond Hedona.

Nobody's life would have been sent careening along strange and treacherous paths. Nobody would have been stabbed, shot, beaten or killed because of him.

Cade stopped. The darkness dropped to a deeper shade in front of them. He edged forward to the lip of a ravine which cut the plain. He could make out the other side, a stone's throw from where they stood. He Activated. Ricky was nearby, his thoughts thrumming like the rumbling of a powerful engine. Cade de-Activated before Ricky had time to talk and blast Cade's brains out of his skull.

"He's here!" Cade whispered, yet he knew that there was nothing but dead, irradiated earth around them. He'd grown up listening to stories of the ghosts that haunted the Darklands, luring adventurers to their deaths. The hairs tingled along his spine. Was that a faint glow beneath them? He strained his sight to its limits, until spots danced in the darkness.

Half-climbing and half-tumbling, they reached the bottom of the slope. The iciest air had settled in the ravine, so he could not tell if his teeth were chattering more from cold or fear. He could see nothing but a slice of starry sky above, framed between the walls of the ravine.

_Something_ _moved!_ He jumped as if the shock had driven him out of his body. Nadina screamed as a large patch of darkness shifted. Her revolver clattered into the depths of the fissure.

A boyish, reed-like voice cut the stillness of the night. "Cade!"

A glowing rectangle swung above them, as bright as the moon, and it dropped in front of them with a whine and a clank. Two eyes stared from the brightness - human eyes - the eyes of a boy. Yet no face accompanied them. Nadina's nails dug into Cade's forearm and he reached protectively for her as he stumbled backwards.

"Cade! Did Mother send you?" Ricky's voice was muffled, as if he was talking through a pipe.

"What are you?"

"What do you mean?" The eyes looked confused.

Forcing down his panic with a deep breath, Cade patted his pockets for the matches. "Do you mind if I make some light?"

"Good idea, so I can see you better!"

Cade struck a match. The darkness swallowed most of the light, but he made out the glint of a metal dome in front of him - a gigantic helmet. Cade waved the match about. What he had taken for boulders in the gloom were more metal surfaces. The shapes whined as they reconfigured itself before his eyes. He dropped the red ember as it burned his fingers. The glow of the match lived on in his vision as the darkness closed in. Cade's fear was replaced by something wondrous, a sense that a dream had become real.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Some rocks fell on me. I got stuck."

"We'll get you out. But I want you to do something for me. I don't want you to talk again until I tell you."

Ricky nodded and was silent.

A second match flared and he heard Nadina scrabble for her revolver in the rubble behind him. Cade reached behind his head to Connect. He let his Memory do its work as Nadina watched from behind his shoulder, her gun held at the ready. He flicked the match into the darkness as he de-Activated. He hissed through his teeth, barely believing the Memories that had leapt into his head.

"A Firelance military tank. Thermonuclear generator, unarmed weight six tonnes, 50 millimetre omnicannon, military grade communications systems, regenerative armour. Whatever that means." Faced with Nadina's silence, he struggled to explain. "We've found a Nuclear War machine! The last of these should have been wiped out in the War a thousand years ago!"

"And he's a boy?" Nadina asked in confusion.

"Who knows? The ways of the Ancients are often beyond our understanding. Let's worry about that when it's daylight." He glanced at the sky. Already, the blackness had a delicate blue tint. He addressed the machine. "Ricky, can you wait here for a bit longer?"

There was a metallic screech as the machine shifted against the rocks. "I have no choice - I'm stuck! I kept calling for help for so long, but no-one heard me until you came."

Cade's hopes of salvation died with the machine's words. It was a tank on legs; if it couldn't extract itself from the ravine, it was probably damaged beyond the point of usefulness. The safest move was to flee before it decided to attack or go into meltdown. Either way, they were stranded.

"Come on," he said to Nadina. "Let's climb out of here and wait until morning. We can eat some of the soldier's food."

"That's the best idea you've had all day."

Cade called to the machine over his shoulder. "Ricky, we're going to have breakfast and wait until it's light. Then we'll come and help you. We can't do anything until then."

The disembodied eyes watched as Cade and Nadina climbed the steep slope of the ravine. "Promise you won't leave me again and I'll be your friend forever!" the boy's voice called.

"I promise!"

Cade and Nadina scrambled over the lip of the ravine and settled cross-legged some distance away on the plain. They tore apart the bread and emptied the food packages onto it. The feeble glow of the pre-dawn sky was not enough for them to read what the packages contained, but they were so hungry they did not care whether they had squeezed out a slug of slimy cheese or a dollop of honey. The bread's crust was as hard as leather yet they gnawed at it ravenously, wetting their mouths with water from the flask. When they had finished, Nadina rummaged in the bottom of the bag for more.

"We should save some for later," Cade said, catching her hand. She shook herself loose.

"I'm hungry!"

"So am I, but we'll be grateful for it later."

"We'll be grateful for it now," she said with a mouthful of crumbs. She held a packet of cheese aloft and squeezed some of it into her mouth, passing the rest to Cade.

"We'll starve if we don't ration it!"

"Well, there's none left now," said Nadina, tossing an empty jam packet over her shoulder. "So we don't have to worry about it any more"

She was right - they would end up just as dead, whether they extended the ordeal or not. She settled beside him.

The sky in the east was streaked with clouds that glowed orange in anticipation of sunrise and grey details of the landscape faded out of the gloom. A breeze arose and blew right through his clothes, chasing all the warmth from his bones, yet his tongue was still hot and dry. Nadina felt the chill and squirmed closer to him, her teeth chattering. Exposure and lack of food and water would kill them long before radiation sickness did. Just before the fiery rim of the sun appeared, the cold became too much to bear. Cade stood and took Nadina's hand as she rose unsteadily.

They peered over the edge of the ravine. Jagged boulders had tumbled into it and become mired in drifts of sand and pebbles. One pile of rocks in the bottom of the ravine was more regular than the others. It moved as they approached, revealing a bulky human outline half-covered by a jumble of boulders and sand-drifts.

The machine was at least four times as tall as Cade. It looked like a giant grey beetle, its metal shell scoured dull by wind-blown sand. A boulder-sized head hunched dejectedly between barrel shoulders. Each segment was solid metal and seamlessly hinged to the others - all flat planes, smooth curves and hard edges. It raised a massive arm and waved at them, unfolding three metal-clawed fingers the size of anvils. With every small adjustment of its monstrous frame it whirred mechanically.

The boy's voice emerged from the machine. "Can you get me out now?"

Nadina took a sharp breath. "It's wrong. Let's leave it."

"Don't worry. It looks dangerous, but there's nothing to be afraid of."

"Apart from it being a huge machine that talks like a child?"

"It comes from before the Nuclear War. The Ancients made it."

"You think all that really happened?"

"Well, what was there before Hedona?"

She paused. "It was Hedona when I was born and it's going to be Hedona for as long as I live. So it doesn't really matter, does it?"

Arguing against Nadina's skewed logic was like fighting shadows. He descended the slope while Nadina watched nervously from the top of the ravine. He half-slid the last drop to the bottom.

The machine lolled like a giant's discarded doll, with one leg splayed outwards and the other half-buried under boulders. Its head turned to face him ponderously, like a horse turning a heavy cart. The human eyes peered from a slit in the front of its head, but now Cade saw that they were only a moving image, buried behind thick layers of glass.

"I couldn't sleep," the boy's voice said. "I was waiting all night for you!"

Nadina was right – there was something disturbing about the machine. The voice, the eyes, and even the slight clumsiness of its movements and awkwardness of its posture were those of a small boy, forced into a dead metal shell. Yet he remembered the sheer power of its Connection. Rather than being lifeless, Ricky had a stronger presence in the Connection than any being he had felt before. He took a wary step towards the machine.

"Be careful!" said Ricky. "The rocks are loose and you might get stuck too. If only Mother was here - she could move them easily."

"It's got a mother?" Nadina shouted, her terrified eyes peering over the lip of the ravine above.

"Don't worry, it doesn't have a mother!" Cade yelled. "This was the biggest one they ever made. And there aren't any more around or I would have sensed them. Come down and have a better look!"

"Not a chance!"

"What machine?" asked Ricky. It rotated to look behind itself, releasing a small avalanche of dirt and pebbles.

"You," said Cade. "You're a Firelance military tank."

A tinkling laugh rang out, edged with a rasp of metal. "What? I'm Ricky!"

Cade stepped forward. "Hold your arm out," he commanded. The machine did so, extending its blunt claws. "What do you see?"

"My arm," it said. "Is this a game?"

"How many fingers do you have?"

"Four. And a thumb, of course. That makes five." The machine dropped its triple-pronged claw. "Can't you just get me out? Then we can play."

Cade rubbed the stubble on his chin. The machine had held its delusion for a few hours already, so it would probably continue to do so. They would be dead if they couldn't use it to get themselves off the plain.

"Ricky," he said. "Let me look at your leg."

He approached the machine from the higher side of the slope.

"Can you move the rock?"

"I've tried. It's too heavy."

To demonstrate, the machine heaved at the boulder until its limbs trembled. The rock was a little bigger than Cade. It remained completely motionless, but according to Cade's Memory the machine's pincers had enough force to crush the rock into gravel. Cade climbed over one enormous leg, as thick as a tree trunk. He set his shoulder to the rock and strained. It shifted slightly.

"Nadina!" he yelled, waving her down. "I think we can move it. Can you bring the rope?"

She hurled it into the ravine and the coils landed heavily about his neck. "No way I'm going near that thing. Do it yourself!"

He slung the rope around the boulder and hauled. It tilted slightly and settled into its previous position. He heard a whir behind him and something nudged gently at his shoulder.

As he turned, the gigantic pincer receded slowly.

"Let me push too, maybe we can move it together."

The machine set its claws to the rock and they both strained. The rock screeched against metal. As Cade's back was about to crack with the strain, the rope went slack and he almost stumbled under the path of the boulder as it thundered down the slope in a cloud of dust. The machine regarded its freed leg. In a heartbeat it unfolded to its full gigantic height, darkening the sun and sending pebbles bouncing in every direction. It was like a Hedonan apartment building on legs. Cade cowered as the machine toppled towards him, then halted its fall and enfolded him in its arms, crushing him gently between the hard edges of its armour. He heard Nadina shriek from above, but the embrace was gentle and considered, the metal edges barely denting his skin.

"Thank you!" it said. "I thought I would be stuck there forever!"

Cade gave a relieved sigh. "We could use some help ourselves. Do you know where we could find something to eat and drink?"

"Oh, I'm sure you can come and stay at our place. We always have lots of food and I'm sure Mother wouldn't mind visitors."

"Cade!" Nadina yelled from the top of the ridge. "Get up here. Now!"

Cade held up the palm of his hand towards her and talked to the machine. "We'd like to come home with you. How far is your house?"

"It's not a proper house, really. It's more like a cabin. It's a few hours' away, down by the river. I'll show you."

Cade clambered up the side of the ravine with the machine beside him. It splayed its limbs to grapple with the slope like a giant lizard, releasing an avalanche of rocks and dust as it went. The machine rose over the edge, spotted Nadina, then paused.

"I'm Ricky," it said. The ground trembled faintly as it shifted its immense weight from one foot to the other and thudded towards her.

Nadina whipped the revolver from her belt. "Stay back!"

Cade motioned to her to put the gun away, cringing at the thought of ricochets and a panicked six-tonne pile of metal. Nadina lowered the gun uncertainly, the barrel tracing small circles as her breathing heaved.

"What's wrong?" the machine said, its head to one side.

Her uncertain voice broke from her throat. "Are you really a boy?"

"Are you really a woman? You look nothing like Mother," the machine said. "Why don't we go and get some food? You must be hungry."

The machine turned, its legs moving in a cumbersome dance as it swung its weight around, then lumbered forwards. Cade hefted the bag over his shoulder and followed.

The sun had broken free of the horizon and was pushing away the night's chill. It would get hot soon - they would be too weak to walk if they didn't find shelter by the end of the day. Nadina stripped off her borrowed shirt and exchanged it for her own partly-dry clothes. They trudged behind the machine, walking between the shallow craters that Ricky's flat metal feet left in the dusty ground. The rhythmic whine-whir-thud of its motors set the pace for the two humans. They were following a natural gap in the debris, as if they were on a well-worn path. Cade walked in silence, but his growing weariness led him to voice an idea that had been brewing since he'd first encountered Ricky.

"Ricky! Could you carry us?"

"What?" the machine squawked, its voice taking on a metallic edge. Its head swung around to throw him an incredulous stare. "You're way too heavy! Why don't you give me a ride instead?" The eyes in the slit gazed at him pleadingly. "My big brothers gave me rides all the time." Cade decided it would be wise to drop the matter.

They walked for hours, wilting in the sun. The machine made a few attempts at conversation, then began humming a rambling melody in its reedy voice. When the sun was high in the sky, the machine whirred to a halt, its arms hanging loosely by its side.

"I'm tired. Let's stop for a bit."

Cade and Nadina agreed readily. The machine froze, completely motionless. The only sounds were a faint hum that came from deep within its metal shell and the pinging of cooling metal. The two humans collapsed in the machine's shadow. Nadina's hair hung in tangled ropes and the skin around her eyes was red and puffed. Her appearance stung Cade – he could only watch helplessly as she grew weaker.

Cade handed her the water bottle and she licked the last drop of water from the neck. She was beyond communication, her attention fixed on her own survival. Cade looked at his own hands. They were swollen and stiff from the effort of freeing Ricky and he longed to splash water over them. Dust was caked onto his clothes where his sweat had run. He avoided thinking about their bodies' radiation exposure.

He settled cross-legged in the sand and emptied his lungs with a sigh. Maybe he should perform one last Connection meditation and wait for oblivion. He would leave the world with the garden of his mind neat and uncluttered; like one of the fallow fields outside the Monastery, left for nature to reclaim after its productive season.

His thoughts drifted to his toils in the Monastery gardens. It was hard, sweaty work. All the teachings of the Monastery were about the weeding out of weakness and cultivation of the mind. He had left the Monastery with his own garden in perfect order.

Yet in the manure of Hedonan life, weeds had flourished inside him. Until Nadina's vines had invaded, causing his own weeds to burst out in bright, exotic blooms. They had joyfully overran the garden together and found wild new soil beyond. They were still growing – there was no limit to how far they could go together. If they survived the Darklands. Nadina placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Let's get out of here."

He struggled to his feet. He looked her in the eyes. Animal desperation had replaced the sensual confidence that usually shined in them. If he hadn't been so quick to risk both their lives on a whim, they would most likely be safe and warm at the other end of the Darklands, with a large breakfast in front of them.

"Sorry," he said, his gaze dropping.

"For what?"

"For getting you into this mess."

She sighed wearily. "What do you mean?"

"You shouldn't be here. I dragged you into this."

She smiled, tucking a limp strand of hair behind her ear. "I was starting to forget why we came here. I chose to jump the Darklander with you, so stop talking about it."

He held her close and took strength from the tender silence. Any reasonable person would throw him off, turn away and walk towards the horizon - and yet, here she was.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, her hair catching at his stubbled cheek. The moment passed and the bleached blue sky hung above them as before, oppressive and indifferent.

Cade raised his voice and called to the machine. "How long have we got to go?"

"Not far," said Ricky, his whole torso twisting to face the humans. "But it looks like it goes forever, doesn't it?"

Cade nodded, his head swimming with blue sky and baked earth.

"Are you all right?" asked the machine. It stooped to stare at them, its claws resting on its knees. The concern in its eyes was barely visible through the sun reflecting from its visor.

Nadina swallowed with difficulty. "I need water!"

The machine swivelled its domed head to face her. "Do you want me to run ahead and get some?"

Cade tossed the plastic bottle to the machine, wondering why he hadn't thought of the idea. There had been streams across the tracks of the Darklander. Fatigue was making him slow. The best they could do was to let the machine go on while they waited out the hottest part of the day. The machine fumbled with the bottle, dropped it, then scrabbled at the ground with its oversize pincers. It finally clamped the bottle between both clawed limbs, as if trying to hold a coal between two pokers.

"Sorry," it said. "I'm always getting in trouble for being clumsy."

It lumbered off and the sound of its whirring motors receded. Cade and Nadina sat in the shade of a crumbling wall as the landscape shimmered in the heat. They had no energy to form their thoughts into words.

Ricky was long gone when Cade saw movement. He squinted into the glare. "Look! Over there, near that piece of old wall."

Nadina clutched his arm. "I see it!"

There was more than one of them, stalking them from the direction they had come. They came between the ruins, flowing like liquid in and out of view. _They_ _must_ _have_ _been_ _following_ _us_ _the_ _whole_ _time,_ _waiting_ _until_ _the_ _machine_ _left._

Cade Activated and his weary brain struggled to rouse itself. Ricky's thoughts flooded Cade's with an intensity that matched his own. Cade caught a glimpse of a small log cabin nestled by a dry river bed. Ricky had found rain water and scooped it up in the bottle. He was running back to them. Cade reined his attention in closer to himself.

He felt Nadina beside him, her thoughts sluggish. Fatigue distorted her awareness - she was faring much worse than him. He cast his mind out to their pursuers. Their minds were as sharp as arrowheads; not the complex minds of humans, with thoughts scattered in a dozen directions at once, but the simple minds of animals, directed like a searchlight onto their quarry. He de-Activated.

"They're cats. Six of them," he whispered.

Nadina swore and pulled her pistol from the bag. Her trembling fingers barely obeyed as she checked the chambers of the weapon. "I've got enough shots, if we're lucky. But if I manage to kill one it might scare the others off."

One of the cats stalked confidently along the path towards them, its head lowered. It was sandy-coloured, blending into its surroundings, and as high as Cade's waist. Its was lanky and sinuous, yet its muscles rippled with restrained power.

Nadina drew the pistol level with her eye. "Once it gets close enough I'll nail it!"

Rocks rattled behind them. Nadina shrieked, swinging the pistol in a wide arc towards the two cats that had appeared behind them. The pistol cracked twice, Nadina's arms jumping with the recoil. A third shot rang out and the head of a cat disintegrated in a spray of inky-black before its corpse crunched to the ground. Cade hefted a rock at the other cat as it crouched. The rock bounced off its back and it yelped as its hind legs collapsed. It swung a paw at Nadina, sweeping her legs from under her. She screamed, spraying two shots wildly. The cat pinned her to the ground and turned its head to sink its teeth into her thigh. She fired into its chest and it exploded in a spray of black.

Cade picked up a head-sized rock and turned his attention to the original attacker. He struck the cat as it swiped a plate-sized paw at him. Rotten flesh yielded as the rock buried itself deep in its head.

Cade looked at his trembling hands. The shock of the attack had shattered his mind. He needed the Connection – that would make everything clear. He Activated and scanned the surroundings. The three remaining cats were fleeing, their minds full of panic. He had no idea how many others were lurking beyond the range of Connection.

Cade grasped Ricky's mind. "We've been attacked. Come back now!"

"What? Who did this?" it paused. Cade felt a stroking sensation at the back of his eyeballs as he stared at the carcass at his feet. Ricky's thoughts boomed in his head. "The cats! I saw them sometimes in the night! I was scared of them, but they never came near me."

Cade felt the machine break into a run with the light steps of a boy. The wind blew through his hair as he flew along a narrow path, surrounded by pine trees. _How_ _could_ _trees_ _grow_ _in_ _the_ _Darklands?_ Cade no longer doubted the machine's stability – he could feel a stronger and more lucid mind than most humans, mechanical in its clarity. Yet it was living a delusion - it could be bringing them dry sand instead of water.

He de-Activated and dropped to Nadina's side. She lay curled in the rubble, clutching her left leg. His eyes scanned her body, displacing his horrible imaginings of blood, protruding bones, and twisted limbs. She wasn't badly hurt, but blood oozed between her fingers and cut tracks through the splattered cat-slime.

"It got my leg!" She groaned as he lifted her hands. Blood welled up in the scratches, cutting red rivulets through the black cat-slime. She clasped the wounds hard. They were long, but not deep. The automatic knitting of flesh would occur with time, but the Darklands would kill her before infection could have its chance – they needed to keep moving.

"Cade, I can't take this!" she cried. "Get me out of here!" She clung to him as if she was hanging over a precipice. Cade held her, unsure of what she needed. Pain was something he acknowledged, then ignored; simply the body's way of alerting the mind to a problem. He would never cry out, panic, seek solace, or beg for mercy, and he had never understood the need in others. Her suffering was a wall between them.

"It's not serious," he said. He pulled off his shirt and tore it into strips - at least he could heal her body. She gritted her teeth and dug her nails into his arm as he bound the wound.

"Hold still. This will stop the bleeding and you'll be able to walk."

He shook free of her grasp and tied the makeshift bandages. She panted more rapidly through her teeth as he tightened the knot, her muscles tensed as hard as wood. He helped her to her feet. She was heavy from their combined lack of strength.

"You didn't have to be so rough," she said, scowling and pushing him away slightly.

Cade shrugged. "It's best to get it over with quickly."

"Sometimes I wonder if you care about me at all."

Cade's frustration was released in a thunder-crack of anger. "Is that all the thanks I get?"

"Go and die!" He tried to catch her hand, but she shook him off roughly. "I followed you because I thought you wanted me!"

She limped a dozen steps before sagging into the dirt, sobbing. Cade knelt beside her and she welcomed his embrace. The storm had cleared as rapidly as it had appeared, its destructive energy spent in noise and violence. In the empty desert, they were lone lightning rods for each other's emotions.

"I'm sorry," Cade said. "I'm trying."

"I just don't understand how you can be so cold towards me!"

"It's my way of dealing... with all this," he said, gesturing at the cats. "I need to be tough to get us out alive."

"These cats stink - let's keep moving."

Nadina's powerful handgun had smeared her target over the surrounding debris, separating its head from the remains of its body. Cade bent for a closer look at the head. It looked like an overripe melon that had burst in the sun; the black flesh within was pulpy. He rolled its lip into a snarl and fingered one of the teeth gently. It was as hard as stone and wickedly sharp. He gave it a pull and it came out easily. The radiation must be hard on the bodies of anything that managed to survive here. They limped in the direction that Ricky had disappeared. He was easy to follow – two parallel lines of shallow craters stretched into the distance.

"Do you think Ricky will come back?" asked Nadina, her eyes on the ground in front of her.

"He's found some water and he's running back to us with it - I felt him when I Activated."

Cade didn't remind her of the radiation that was killing them slowly, whether or not they found food and water. He could feel it ripping through his bornware, spawning poisons in his blood. His hair would fall out and his teeth would loosen, just like the cats' teeth. Nadina limped, hanging off him for support. Her eyes burned with a desperation to survive which seemed to grow as her body's reserves dwindled.

Nadina's keen eyes spotted the cloud of dust in the distance. Soon they could make out Ricky bounding towards them and feel the thud of his huge feet. The machine barrelled up to them like a charging bull, showering them with gravel as he locked his legs and skidded the last few metres.

The machine reached down and Cade snatched the bottle from the metal claws. The water was slightly cloudy. He wet his lips with it. It tasted earthy but drinkable. He handed the bottle to Nadina. Without a word, she gulped most of the bottle and handed it back.

He pushed it away gently. "You take the rest," he said.

"But you need to drink too!"

"You're hurt."

"But you must be as thirsty as me!"

"Probably."

He imagined the water sliding down his parched throat, but the lessening of Nadina's suffering was all that mattered. The Monastery had never given him a chance to feel anything deeply; his single emotional link was with Nadina. That link to a world of feeling was more important than his own life.

"I'll be fine," he said. "I've lived through worse."

She wet his lips with a soft kiss, before gulping the rest of the water.

"I'm sorry about being rude before," she said. "You were only trying to fix my cat scratches."

Cade squeezed her hand. "Don't be. I need to think outside my own world more and consider how you feel. It'll take time."

As they walked, Nadina became stronger as the liquid found its way into her blood. Cade felt like a shrivelled skeleton, pushed forwards by a force separate from his own willpower. The earth rolled and bucked, as if floating in the upside-down ocean of the sky. He repeatedly realised that it was only his head moving and not the world, only to forget moments later. The passage of time had become fractured and confusing when the machine ground to a halt in front of them, astride a gently sloping ridge. The sound of Ricky's voice broke through Cade's fever.

"Look!" Ricky pointed downwards. "What a view!"

They dragged themselves to the top of the ridge. They were standing on the lip of a crater whose walls curved away to the horizon, with shallow valleys leading away from the rim like puckered scars. Far below, the bottom of the crater glittered with black lakes. Windblown seeds had taken root around them and a peppering of trees had managed to push their roots into the poisoned ground, before radiation had twisted and killed them. Directly below, where the curve of the crater's wall met with the flat bottom, there were buildings.

Nadina whooped and hugged him. For a moment he forgot they were dying of radiation poisoning.

"Ricky, what's down there?" he asked.

"Trees and the little river. And our house."

The machine extended its arm towards the middle of the crater. There were ruins in the exact centre, with a circle empty of debris around them.

Ricky continued. "And there's clear people there, in those houses. I saw them when I got the water, but they ran away."

Nadina bit her lip and stared into the crater. "If anyone or anything lives there they could help us. We found Ricky on the Plains, so who knows what else is living here? We're dead anyway if we don't try."

"I agree," said Cade. Even if the buildings were deserted, they might be able to scavenge something, then retrace their steps and jump the train.

"Watch this!" said Ricky. He ran towards the rim of the crater and leapt off, his legs pumping in the air. He connected with the slope with a boom and slid down in a deafening rattle of rocks, his arms windmilling as he struggled to keep his balance. Halfway down, he tripped and tumbled the rest of the way, before coming to a dazed halt in a cloud of dust. Nadina managed a weary smile.

Cade and Nadina followed him more cautiously. As they descended, it became obvious that the buildings which nestled at the bottom of the slope were well maintained and more impressive than any in Hedona. Soaring spires of grey stone rejected the laws of gravity in favour of those of beauty. Lesser buildings surrounded them, with walls and ramparts laid out in geometrical patterns, like the unfolding petals of a flower.

Cade was exhausted beyond the point of caution as they half-tumbled down the slope. His brain felt like it was swelling inside his skull. All he could think about was collapsing in the shade of the buildings. They slowed as they reached them, as caution replaced desperation.

"They're beautiful!" said Nadina. "Nothing bad could live here!"

Cade wasn't so sure. His ragged nerves screamed ambush. He strained his ears for the click of safety catches, but only heard the rolling whine of the machine's leg motors behind him.

In the doorway, ten paces from them, a figure melted from the shadow of one of the stone arches, like a carving come to life.

"There's one!" said Ricky "I saw her before!"

The apparition filled Cade with an undefinable dread. It was a woman, her legs sliding under a silver dress as she moved towards them. Her skin was powder-white and she was slender and long-fingered, her figure almost straight from shoulders to waist. The light caught her pale hair it as if it was strands of glass.

"Please don't be afraid. We have more worthwhile pursuits than attacking travellers. In fact, we are quite proud of our creations." She gestured towards the buildings. "Do you like them?"

Nadina murmured a reply and Cade nodded tensely.

The machine spoke behind them. "I was talking to her before. She's nice - she just wanted to know who I was."

The woman was slender as a vase; he could overpower her easily, even in his weakened state. He motioned to Ricky to stay silent and instinctively fingered the back of his neck.

The woman spoke. "Your machine is right - I only want to relieve my curiosity. We rarely have visitors."

The tendrils of Cade's Connection flowed out and he probed for the woman's mind. Ricky was spilling his usual mental noise and Cade avoided the jarring contact. He found the mind in front of him and flowed his awareness towards it, enfolding and feeling for her thoughts. He sensed an instant of recognition before his mind was torn apart, as if he had snagged his brains on a spinning saw. He screamed and grasped at his neck, then stumbled to his knees as deActivation freed him.

"What are you?" the woman asked. Cade barely heard her through the booming in his head.

Nadina stepped in front of Cade. "Hurt him again and I'll kill you. I've got a gun!"

"She's got a device for jamming the Connection!" Cade said, clamping his head in his hands. He looked up at the mind-empty monster which had attacked him. Black veins stood out on her forehead like fine cracks in a white porcelain mask. Her face was blank, as unreadable as the whirlpool of her mind.

"If anything, I should be the one worried by you," she said with the hint of a smile. "A giant walking machine who shines like the sun, a woman with a face striped like a marsh-cat, and a young man who leaks sunbeams from his head!"

Cade felt violated. Connection was a secret bond between priests of the Monastery; nobody but a Master should be able to see his mind naked.

"My name is Gamma," the woman said. "You really have nothing to fear. In fact, this is the safest place for you on the Plains."

Her openness had the opposite effect on Cade: three strangers had invaded her home, yet she was as welcoming as a spider with three new flies. He spoke. "I am Cade, a priest of the mountains. Nadina is from the city of Hedona. And this is Ricky, a war machine of the Ancients."

Her eyes roamed over the metal pillar legs, the heavily armoured torso and domed head.

"You are the owners of this machine?"

Ricky spoke. "Don't listen to Cade, he's always saying strange things about me!"

"So bright..." the woman murmured. "Beautiful..."

"We think it's quite safe," said Cade. "We are tired, hungry and hurt, and have travelled far without supplies. We humbly ask for your help. Could you provide us with food and water?"

The woman looked at him strangely. Had he offended her by asking for hospitality?

"I may be able to find something, and we have plenty of water. But of greater worry is the burning you have received from our land. Those like you are not meant to be here."

"What do you mean?" Nadina asked.

"We meet your kind rarely. We are different - some of our ways are fatal to outsiders," she continued quickly. "But with wisdom born of experience, we can now prevent mishaps. We would be happy to shelter you for as long as you require."

Their options were clear: walk away and die of radiation in the wastelands, or trust the woman. "Thank you," Cade said. "We would be grateful for any help you can give us."

"Well," she said with a reassuring smile, "you'd better come inside!"

They followed in silence, their nerves tightened. Behind them, Ricky stirred and thudded towards the archway. Nadina and Cade yelled and waved frantically at the machine to stop. Cade imagined a Ricky-sized hole in the building, the fragile pillars and buttresses collapsing into rubble. The machine ground to a stop and regarded Cade with bemusement.

"Ricky, do you want to stay outside and play?"

The machine nodded vigorously. "What game?"

"Do you know hide and seek?"

The machine shook its head, its whole torso rotating to absorb the momentum of the movement.

"You go and hide and I'll count to a thousand. Then I'll come looking for you. Understand?"

The machine nodded. "Are you counting yet?"

"One... Two... Three... Four..."

The machine thundered away, creating a small shower of dirt with every footfall.

Nadina laughed. "I should have thought of that ages ago!"

The pale woman furrowed her brow as she watched the machine. She turned to Cade. "Is it a child? Will it grow bigger?"

"I hope not," said Cade. "It has problems with its brain. We found it on the plains and it led us here."

"Is it dangerous?"

"Not at all - it is very gentle. It believes it is a boy called Ricky."

"That is almost as strange as you are," the woman replied. "Now, come inside. You are wilting like seedlings in the sun."

The interior of the building was as perfectly sculpted as a seashell. Light reached into every corner of the building through soaring windows. Staircases twined around pillars and arches. The pure notes of a harp shimmered at the edge of Cade's hearing.

The woman led them into another chamber, as graceful as the first and up a flight of stairs. The spirals and curves of the building pinwheeled as Cade's fatigued body almost gave up the task of climbing the stairs. The music became louder as they climbed.

"There are almost seventy of us. Our kind has lived here for ten generations - we have never been outside the great crater. Occasionally, travellers wander into our home, so we have some knowledge of the outside world."

"So why haven't we heard of this place?" asked Nadina.

"Our survival depends on our secrecy. The travellers who reached us have only tried to bring suffering to us. But the land protects us." The woman paused at the next stair. "You must know that this land will kill you soon. We can shelter and heal you for as long as you remain with us, but I can see that you are already burning with the land's influence." She turned to look at them as she mounted the next step, her eyes full of sympathy. "You are good people and we have much to learn from you, so you may consider this your home. You are free to leave when you wish, but when you do, your remaining days will be short."

Nadina's hand trembled on the stair rail and Cade reached for her other.

Cade drew Nadina close to him and whispered. "We're safe for the moment - we've got time to think now. I promise we'll get out of here."

She nodded and looked away, her eyes wide and tear-rimmed. He squeezed her hand as the walked and let curiosity push aside his own fear. At least they weren't dying of thirst in the desert. They reached a balcony overlooking an open space, a central well in one of the towers.

The shimmering strains of the harp echoed in the empty space. Every surface was carved with meticulous attention, as beautiful as the figure who glided in front of them. It was as if the city and its inhabitants had sucked all the beauty out of the surrounding Darklands and concentrated it within themselves, leaving only dry dust and stunted trees.

They entered a room lined with slabs of marble. It was bathed in the light of a circular window which took up most of the roof, its design made up of geometric sections of glass. A shallow pool in the centre of the room sent reflections rippling up the walls, so that the whole room was shimmering with light and music. There were six rectangular blocks of stone around the pool, their tops covered with blue velvet upholstery.

Another woman, similar in appearance to Gamma, sat on a padded chair in the corner, her legs daintily curled about a harp that was almost as tall as her. She stroked the notes from its strings, her eyes half shut. She could have been the daughter, or sister, of their guide.

"Eriol," Gamma said. "You may leave."

The woman paused, lifting her fingers from the strings, the last notes fading slowly.

She looked up and froze as she saw the travellers, then rose gracefully and smoothed her glass-clear hair into place. She disappeared through an arch at the end of the room.

"I will introduce you to Eriol later – she is a talented musician," Gamma spoke. "But now, I will provide you with the food you need. Please sit."

Gamma left the same way as the harp player and Cade and Nadina collapsed on the nearest couch. The air was cool, the sun stripped of its parching heat by the crystalline windows above them. The wasteland outside seemed an eternity away.

Nadina lolled on the couch and stared through the rippled glass above them. "This is like one of those really expensive hotels!" She cast a sidelong glance at Cade, who had dropped into the yielding cushions beside her. "How much will they want for it?"

Cade wondered the same thing. But whatever the Darklanders wanted, it would be less than the price they would have eventually paid for wandering in the radioactive wastelands. He caught a motion in the corner of his eye as Gamma entered the room. She bore a tray loaded with tall crystal glasses, filled to the brim with water. She moved so gracefully that nothing spilled as she placed the tray gently between Cade and Nadina. Nadina grabbed a glass and gulped ferociously until it was empty. She started with another, the water dribbling down her neck. Cade drank steadily, feeling energy surge in his chest like a fire spreading through parched wood.

He glanced at Gamma, who was staring at them as if they had stripped off their clothes and started making love in front of her. Right now he didn't care about manners. Gamma left before they finished the water and reappeared with a bowl.

"I have some food – can you use this?" she said. Nadina bounced up, already charged with life from the water. She peered into the bowl.

"Beans!" she said. "Do you have spoons, or should we use our hands?"

Gamma looked at her blankly. "I'm sorry. Do you need something else?"

"Don't worry!" Nadina said, taking command of the bowl with one arm and shovelling a slimy handful into her mouth with the other. "I used to eat cans of this every night when I first moved out of home!"

She offered the bowl to Cade. He stuffed a handful into his mouth. The beans were slippery and cold, straight from the tin, but his hunger made them the best food he had ever tasted. They finished the whole bowl, while Gamma retired to the opposite side of the room and sat cross-legged on a couch, watching them intently. They rinsed their hands with a glass of water and dried them on their dusty pants. Gamma approached them when they had finished.

"Do you always eat straight out of the bowl here?" Nadina asked.

There was a pause. "We don't eat," the woman said. She smiled thinly, her porcelain cheeks dimpling. "You must find that as strange as I find the idea of putting dead plants and animals inside me!"

"How do you survive, then?" asked Cade.

"I'm sorry, I've been treating you like exhibits. I should relieve your curiosity."

Gamma's languorous grace disappeared as if it had been switched off and she began to twitch and tremble as black veins thickened at her temple. The air chilled, as if a cloud had gone in front of the sun. She relaxed and the tension in the air dissipated.

"Broad-spectrum, active photosynthesis, the old records call it. Like the plants," she said.

"But why do you live in the Darklands? There's nothing here."

"We renounced the outside long ago. Why would we want to live in your churning, self-consuming world? Here we have no needs. We have space to think."

"And make beautiful buildings. And music." said Nadina.

"Without the body's clamouring, we can hear the music of the universe."

"There must be another reason, though. Nobody sane would choose to live here."

"It's true, we are tied to this area. We cannot find enough energy in the darkness of the outer world to survive for long. Yet the energy scattered through this crater is more than sufficient for us."

"What energy?" asked Cade.

"Bright metals: unstable isotopes, you used to call them. There was an energy station here in this crater, before the Nuclear War. It was bombed to pieces and the debris is still glowing everywhere. Which reminds me." She fumbled at her wrist. "I have gifts for you."

She handed them a pair of wide silver bracelets. Nadina slipped one on while Cade examined his. It was a silver band with a circular dial set into the metal.

"It's beautiful!" Nadina said. "Thank you!"

"What are they?" asked Cade.

"Radiation meters. They're just a novelty to us, but they may be useful to you. We found hundreds of these in the ruins of the old reactor."

Cade looked at the gauge. The needle was flat on zero.

"Does it work?" he asked. "This whole area should be buzzing with radiation."

"It works. These buildings absorb and channel the energy to where we can use it and we absorb any stray particles around us. If you keep the needle below the halfway mark, you will be safe if you return every few hours."

Cade almost laughed with relief - the knowledge that they were being slowly poisoned had gnawed at his thoughts since he had left the train. Their journey seemed unending, but he reflected that they had only left Hedona the day before. Perhaps they could survive their exposure if they stayed with the Darklanders.

"If you don't need anything more, I'll leave you to recover from your journey."

Nadina indicated the gash that the cat-animal's claws had made in her leg. "Do you have fresh bandages?" The bloody strips of shirt which bound her wound were encrusted with dirt.

"I will see what I can find. Meanwhile, make yourselves comfortable. Here are fresh clothes." She placed the folded khaki and some towels on the lounge. "Bathe if you wish, then I will send Eriol to attend to your needs."

She left. Nadina flung off her clothes immediately and slid into the knee-deep water, rinsing her hair and scrubbing the dust from her body. Cade joined her, then they dried off and unfolded the clothes. They were two sets of Hedonan service uniforms with the badges torn off. Too tired to be alarmed by this, they collapsed onto the couch.

Minutes later, Eriol appeared at the edge of the doorway. Her timid nature was the only way Cade could tell her apart from the other, more confident, woman.

"Come in!" Nadina called.

At the sound of her voice, the figure shrunk away as if she would disappear again. She approached like a nervous animal, then dipped her head slightly and mumbled a greeting, her eyes to the floor. "I am sorry to disturb you."

She presented Cade with a roll of bandages, a curved needle, and a spool of thread. Nadina lay stiffly on the couch. Cade pressed her thigh against the couch with one hand as he readied a damp bandage to clean the wound with the other. Nadina's knuckles whitened as she gripped the upholstery. "For the love of life, don't be so rough this time!"

"It's better to get it over with quickly. What did you say on the train when you gouged my back with your nails? Something about pain being good?"

Eriol cleared her throat gently. "Can I help?"

"Yes!" Nadina snapped. "Hit him if he's too rough!"

Eriol lowered her eyes. "I can help your pain."

Cade moved aside, happy to let her deal with the fuming Hedonan. Eriol knelt beside him and the hairs on his arm crackled as she brushed past. She hovered her fingers over Nadina's leg, within a finger-width of touching her. She paused for a moment, then removed her hands.

"Now try again," she said.

Cade dabbed cautiously at the wound. Nadina didn't flinch. She craned her neck to see what he was doing. "I can't feel it! How did you do that?"

"Your nerves," Eriol replied. "I took the life out of them." she turned to Cade. "You should have enough time to finish stitching before the numbness wears off." She watched silently as Cade drew together the edges of the wound with loops of thread. He finished, then admired his work. Despite the neatness of the stitching, it would leave a scar.

He turned his attention to his own stomach wound. The wadded bandage was stuck to the wound and he winced as he tore it loose. Fresh blood welled from the gash. The bullet had blown a ragged trail across the right side of his stomach. It would be hard to stitch it up himself.

He looked at Nadina, her face screwed up with revulsion. She understood his intentions and squealed.

"Not a chance!" she turned away. "You'll have to do it yourself - I can't even watch!"

Cade lay back and Eriol brought her hands close to his waist. She shut her eyes and drew a deep breath. The wound began tingling, then the sensation disappeared. He gingerly poked the flesh. It was like warm butcher's meat. He cleaned the edges of the wound with the corner of a folded bandage, dabbed away the fresh blood, and began stitching. It felt strange, as if he was working on somebody else. It took longer than Nadina's stitches and he felt a faint tingling as he pulled the last loop closed.

"May I go now?" Eriol asked.

Cade nodded. "Thank you."

She turned in a swirl of white fabric and left them alone.

They lay side by side, watching the reflections from the pool ripple across the ceiling. Cade's wound throbbed hotly. He pushed the pain into a corner of his thoughts to give full rein to his body's healing processes.

"What happened to us?" Nadina asked. "I thought it was going to hurt."

"I don't know. I've never heard of anyone like these people."

"Finally, someone who makes you seem normal." She rolled onto her back and placed a cushion under her head. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. Damaged. But nothing that can't be repaired with a bit of rest. How are you?"

"My leg hurts, but I'm so glad that we're safe that I don't care. Nobody will find us here."

"But we can't stay here forever. What are we going to do when we have to leave? I'm going to have a look at Ricky tomorrow and see if I can get his combat systems working. We could hold off an army if I can fix him."

Nadina sat up, horrified. "Are you crazy? What if it turns on us?"

Cade sighed. "It's a machine - a tool. It will do what we tell it to. It's not good, it's not evil, it's only something for us to use."

"It's a boy trapped in a machine's body! It's unnatural!"

"There is no boy inside. Its thoughts are just sparks flying around in pieces of wire." Cade curled beside her. "We can argue about it later. Right now I need to rest."

Sleep was quick to come, but sporadic. Cade awoke cold and brittle-jointed in the middle of the night. A full moon shone through the window in the ceiling, its circle shattered into fragments by the crystalline glass. Nadina's hair was tangled around his head and in his mouth and cascaded over the fabric of the couch. Her mouth was slightly open, showing four rows of teeth, white in the moonlight.

Nadina twined her legs around him. At first he wasn't sure if he was dreaming. She seemed conscious of his injuries and moved as gently as the reflections from the moonlit pool that rippled across the ceiling. Despite their exhaustion, they managed to reach some sort of conclusion. Cade's wound began throbbing angrily beneath the bandages. Sleep was replaced by a feeling of contented slackness.

"Gamma left some beans here," Nadina whispered. "Let's take them and go for a walk!"

They crept out of the room hand-in-hand and paused at the head of the stairs. Moonlight spilled onto the marbled floor below them, striping it with shadows. Curved stairways reached for a domed crystal ceiling above and the pale stone walls glowed coldly in the faint light. Beautiful imagined forms writhed just beyond the edges of their sight.

Nadina grabbed Cade's arm. "Listen!" she whispered. He heard a distant harp; a delicate melody that shimmered and echoed about the domes and arches. They stood silently, unwilling to break the fragile moment. "I guess they don't sleep, either."

Ricky was waiting for them outside, nudging a stone with his foot. The machine glared accusingly from his eye slit. "You tricked me!"

"Sorry - I needed time with the grown-ups. Did you find a good hiding spot?"

"I got bored with waiting and came back here."

"Well, I'll make it up to you. Do you want to go and visit your house tomorrow?"

"Yes!" The machine's eyes lit up. "I'll show you where we live! And maybe Mother will be there."

"Well, you should get some rest. It's going to be a big day tomorrow."

The eyes behind the glass drooped and shut and he became as still as a boulder. Cade and Nadina left the buildings and wandered onto the plains, its boulders dappled with moonlight. Cade checked the radiation meter on his wrist: normal. They clambered to the top of a rise and Cade spread the Hedonan soldier's coat on the ground. Nadina shared hers as they huddled together. The air was bitingly cold, but they were warm from exertion. The stars dusted the sky densely and the moon cast its cold light over the swampy ground and lakes below them. The gnarled skeletons of trees broke the outlines of the pools. Not far to their right, the spires of the Darklander structures cast long dark shadows over the wastelands.

"Beans?" asked Nadina, shovelling them into her mouth.

"They're cold. I'm sick of cold beans."

"Here, I've warmed some up for you!" She grabbed him, forcing a kiss that bore a slimy mouthful of half-chewed beans. He groaned in disgust and fought her off. They rolled about until the joke was a warm afterglow, then lay silently and watched the moon set over the rim of the crater.

"This place is so empty - so much space to fill with thoughts. My old teacher Malcott would have liked it here."

"Do you still talk to him with Connection?"

"He's dead."

"Sorry." She stalled uncomfortably. "Were you close?"

Nadina was leading the conversation into areas he had only ever visited alone. "He was like a father."

"So where is your father?"

Cade shrugged. "My family was the Monastery - Malcott. Lendora, my friends. I don't know who my real parents were."

"Maybe you're lucky not to know. They could have been Feeders."

Cade laughed. "Are you serious?"

"My parents are." She opened her mouth wide and her twin rows of teeth shone in the moonlight. "See? Thanks to them I pay horrible dental insurance premiums."

"You don't look like a Feeder."

"I guess I like things other than food."

Cade had a painful reminder of that fact. He touched his stomach where a warm stain was seeping through the bandages. Sex was only a temporary antidote to pain and fatigue; he should have given more thought to his injuries earlier.

"My parents were Feeders and they hated me because I wasn't like them. And I hated my life until I was old enough to get away."

Cade settled more comfortably on one elbow. "It went the other way for me. I was happy in the Monastery at first. Then the accident happened. Connection was the only thing that kept me sane afterwards."

She stiffened slightly at the words. "It always comes back to Connection. Whenever you do it, people get hurt. It worries me."

"A good shepherd needs to kill a few wolves occasionally."

"It's not good – it's horrible! You become this thing with no life."

Cade chose to ignore her blasphemy. "When I Activate, everything makes sense. Yet when I come back, I can't quite grasp what it was that I'd discovered. That's what the Monastery is trying to do: discover the source of that knowledge and share it with everybody."

"You're only making excuses for the way you are. You make this huge pile of guilt and explanations, then run around stressing and propping it up. If you just let it all tumble down and did whatever you wanted, life would be a lot easier."

"But where is the meaning in that? Why bother at all?"

She shrugged. "More time for sex? If we'd had longer in Hedona I would have shown you a really good time!"

"What about responsibility? Duty?" As he spoke, he realised he was far from living a Masterly life. Another worry slithered its way to the fore of his anxieties. "Do you understand responsibility at all? Have you even considered that you might be with child?"

Her laughter was explosive, shattering the silence of the plains. "How much did they teach you in the Monastery?"

"I've minded the sheep in rutting season. I know how things happen."

"You know, you're not the only one in the world who's special. My face markings are a give-away – all the Hedonan men know what they mean. I won't catch certain diseases and I don't fall pregnant until I decide." She patted her stomach. "Thanks to my ancestors!"

Her words slayed a dozen of Cade's anxieties in a single stroke. _Oh,_ _blessed_ _Ancients_ _-_ _what_ _a_ _gift_ _to_ _rival_ _the_ _Connection!_ Nadina pressed her forehead against his, burning hot. Her eyes were black pits and the faint stripes on her face crawled in the darkness. "For all Hedona's problems, it is my home, but it seems I've become part of your plan to destroy it!"

Cade smiled and stared into her eyes. "We're not trying to destroy it - Hedona is destroying itself. I've seen the Connections falling apart. We're going to save it. You and me."

"I don't think Hedona wants to be saved."

They trudged down the rise, arms about each others' waists. The plains were threateningly empty, the multitude of stars above overwhelming. Cade held Nadina tightly, as if she was the only thing in the sea of emptiness that could keep him from drowning. They found their bed within the silent halls of the Darklanders and he threw her down upon it. He rode her as if they had been been apart for weeks. She had a talent for mining deeper and deeper into his reserves of passion without ever exhausting them.
Chapter 20

Cade slid from Nadina's embrace without waking her. After a solid night's sleep, the pain from his wound had faded to a dull ache and he was flushed with energy. A bowl of beans and a military-style mess spoon waited beside their bed. He ate hungrily, in spite of the meal's slimy blandness. He splashed cool water from the pool over his face and went outside. The morning was cool and dry and he was eager to explore before it became too hot.

"Ricky!" he called. "Lead the way. You're going home!"

Ricky skipped between the buildings, the ground shuddering with every footfall. Cade kept a safe distance behind the cavorting metal giant - Ricky was frightening when he became excited.

They walked towards the centre of the crater, the sun beating down on the debris which littered its floor: stones, solidified chunks of molten rock, and crumbling masonry. The far rim of the crater shimmered in the sun like a mirage.

Occasionally, a stunted tree had forced its way upwards, only to be twisted into grotesque contortions by the radiation. Cade checked the radiation monitor; the needle was sitting at a quarter of its full scale. The landscape was less threatening when he could measure its hidden dangers.

As they neared the centre of the crater, the trees became more bizarrely twisted, then disappeared altogether. The ground became sandy and flat, blasted clear of rubble. Right at the centre was the ruin they had seen from the top of the crater the previous day. It sat alone on the plain, its thick cement walls shattered like an eggshell and its pillars torn off at their base. The structure was almost buried beneath a drift of windswept sand. Ricky was already climbing the gentle slope and was a silver insect next to the enormous building.

Cade checked his radiation gauge. It was just above the safe point – he could almost feel the charged particles shredding his bornware. He reached behind his head and Activated.

The machine battered him with waves of excitement and Cade felt puny and insignificant. Although Ricky's thoughts were just synthesised broadcasts from its transmitter, they were clearer and stronger, more _real_ than those of any human.

_Ricky!_ he called. _I_ _can_ _'_ _t_ _come_ _any_ _further!_ _Can_ _you_ _tell_ _me_ _what_ _you_ _see?_

The tarry scent of fir trees wafted around Cade, mingled with the damp mustiness of the forest. He felt pine needles under the soles of his feet.

"I'm at my house, in the forest," the machine called. A long howl of loneliness tore through the Connection and it rippled like a lake beneath a rain of tears. "My family isn't back yet!"

Cade reached for the machine, embracing its smooth mind. His Connection sought the intimate core of the machine's workings, but Ricky's mind was a perfect sphere, a precision piece of engineering, without any seam or point of entry. A cold glow rose from deep within it, barely detectable. Cade could not reach inside and give comfort to him.

The sight of the reactor and the machine's mind stirred a distant Memory. Cade could see the reactor as it once was – a great concrete dome, with pillars trailing white steam across the sky and silver coils and compression chambers shining in the sun. There were Memories here: fragmented power output statistics, safety procedures, and fuel rod inventories. He reached for something more, something about Ricky. There were engineering reports: machines commissioned to perform maintenance work, fuel rod extraction, and radiation scrubbing. Deeper.

Records for the machines. Clean, spider-like, white machines with delicate, polished chrome fingers. Visors glowing cherry-red. Not Ricky. He needed military machines. Where were the military machines?

A single Memory stood out like a friend's face in a crowd. Firelance. Purchased cheaply as ex-military stock, it had been retrofitted as a maintenance machine. Its limbs lacked the precision needed for hot reactor work, so it had been used for carrying samples around the compound. It lumbered between the laboratory buildings, carrying samples of reactor products in its pincers.

Cade dug deeper into Ricky's records, holding the Memory apart from the others. Its military intelligence programs were illegal for civilian use, so a filter had been fitted, downgrading its perception. Its satellite communications systems, radar, and thermal scanners were disabled.

The machine was heavy and vastly overpowered, so its motor strength had been limited to meet safety regulations. Cade delved into Ricky's schematics. The program to downgrade such a powerful piece of equipment was very complex – more complex than Ricky's original software - and this task occupied much of his mental machinery. The engineering log had several notes about emergent childlike behaviour, but these faults had been ignored because the machine had continued to perform tasks as required. Crippled in body and mind, the machine had adapted to its limitations by creating the personality of Ricky.

He saw Ricky in his mind, freshly painted with black and yellow stripes. The human operators had laughed at the machine as it skipped around the reactor, clutching samples to its chest and singing softly.

_What_ _else_ _was_ _there?_ The omnicannon heavy weapons system. It did not require ammunition - it used spent uranium from Ricky's reactor, or raw materials scavenged from the battlefield. Its microfactories could construct munitions atom by atom: miniature cruise missiles assembled from rusty cans and dirt, nerve gas from grass and sticks. Cade felt a faint thrumming of the Connection, an insect-buzz vying for his attention. He pushed away the chatter of Ricky's circuits.

"Wait, Cade!" Lendora! "Don't cut me off! Cade!"

Her thoughts were as weak as a heartbeat felt through a wall, but to Cade, they were as welcome as an embrace.

_Lendora!_ he thought. _They_ _found_ _us_ _–_ _we_ _had_ _to_ _run._ _Sorry,_ _I_ _should_ _have_ _Connected_ _earlier._

"But you are safe now?" He sent an affirmative and felt her relief as she continued.

"You're not the only one in trouble. The Hedonans are on the march – hundreds of troops heading east towards us. And that's the good news. There are kidnappings in the Monastery – we're being picked off one by one. Whoever is attacking us is hidden from Connection. We're all sleeping with our weapons beside us." The space behind Cade's eyes tingled, then he was rocked by a burst of shock. "Cade! Where in life's name are you? All I can see is sand!"

He wasn't sure if the twinge of despair was his or Lendora's. "I'm stuck in the middle of the Darklands. But that's only the start of our problems."

"I've heard. We thought our Hedonan informants were playing games, until we realised they were all telling the same stories. A blinded youth murdering security guards with an assault rifle. A train passenger levelling an elite unit without touching them, then disappearing. The Hedonan factions have linked these events to the Monastery."

Cade felt worse than worthless – he had put the lives of those better than him in danger, without a thought of the consequences.

"Cade! You can't blame yourself - we should never have sent you to Hedona!"

He shook his head, clutching his temples. "No. I deserve everything that's happened to me, but now it's hurt you, too. How do I stop this?"

Lendora's thoughts were direct, unambiguous. "Come home. We neglected you as a child and left you digging in the gardens. That was unfortunate, but to cast you out a second time was unforgivable. You have an amazing gift which the Hedonans are desperate to discover." The Connection guttered like a candle flame and reasserted itself with a different tone. "And I miss you. I've been sleepless with worry ever since I left you."

Cade felt a terrible loneliness, a longing that extended along the Connection and attempted to drag Lendora to him. "I won't let anything happen to you!" he thought.

"Then come, but soon. We have a week at most before the attack begins. First Safekeep will be overwhelmed, then the Monastery. Great Master is with me now. He says that a detachment of our best fighters is leaving the Monastery to meet you midway."

Cade's hopelessness added a leaden weight to his thoughts. "I can't make it. I'm stuck in the Darklands, somewhere along the Darklander line."

"Commandeer the Darklander, then."

Cade shook his head, dismissing the thought of tackling the armoured train. "Impossible. But we have a something for you to tinker with, if we can get back at all. You'll go crazy over this. Check your Memory for Firelance - I'm looking at one now. It's been limited to the point of uselessness but you might be able to fix it."

The Connection wavered as Lendora used her Memory. "We'll do everything we can to get you back. With a Firelance guarding the Monastery we'll never need to pick up a sword again!"

"Don't get too excited. He's too big to transport easily and he's been degraded to the point where he's little more than an interesting companion."

"He?"

"Ricky."

Her confusion disrupted the Connection. "Cade. Try and find a way back as soon as you can. The Masters are being wiped out one by one and this army will finish off whoever is left."

"I need to think. But I'll do my best."

"Think. And then come home."

Cade de-Activated and stood motionless for a moment, staring into the empty sky above the distant lip of the crater. Sometimes he wondered if he was the same person who had made the memories of his old life. Was he still a Connection priest? He had ignored those beliefs for so long, yet they rose up whenever he was in trouble. The entire world was hunting him for his mysterious powers. Whatever these abilities were, they weren't as great as his ability to get himself further and further into trouble. He trekked back to the city, the machine falling into step beside him.

"Can you find my family?" asked Ricky.

Cade sighed. He had forgotten the clanking tower of metal. "I've got us all into a lot of trouble and now I have to get us out," he said.

"I'm sure you'll fix it - you got me out from under that rock. Do you know where my family went?"

He wondered what would happen if he tried to break the illusion. "They never existed, it's all in your circuits. You're just a machine that invented a personality to find a justification for its weaknesses."

Ricky lumbered along without breaking his regular stride. He looked straight ahead.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're crazy - I can never get a proper answer from you."

Cade knew that Ricky would cling to his illusions, no matter how convincing the arguments were against them. "Don't worry, Ricky," he said. "If your family is out there, we'll find them." The rhythmic whirring of Ricky's motors seemed to play a more cheerful tune.

They quickly covered the distance to the city. Cade entered the great chamber and yelled, his voice echoing about the structure. Gamma emerged. Nadina and Eriol peered from a balustrade above.

"Nadina. We need to leave right now."

"No," she said. "I need to rest. Let's talk about it later."

"They tracked us onto the train and must know we're here somewhere. And the Monastery is under attack. I need to go and help them fight."

She swore and hammered the balustrade with her fists. "We just got somewhere safe! I am not leaving now!" She clattered down the stairs and Eriol followed.

"I can't let my friends be killed," Cade replied. "We need to leave now!"

"You go on. I've had enough running." Nadina looked from him to Gamma, who stood silently, her features placid and unfathomable. "We've ran so far! Can we stay here a bit longer?"

Gamma shook her head. "Cade is right. Your enemies will follow you here. You must leave immediately, for our sakes as well as your own. The Hedonans can only understand the world through dissection, destroying, categorising. If they discover us, they will cut us up to see how we work."

As she said the words, the familiar feeling of being hunted descended upon Cade. His nerves were worn to shreds by the imagined enemies that lurked around every corner. One minute longer would have been enough for him to catch his breath, but they were fleeing yet again.

"We can't leave! The plains will kill us!" Nadina said.

Gamma looked meaningfully at Eriol and a silent decision was made. Gamma spoke. "There is a way you can leave safely."

Eriol stepped forwards. "I will come with you. I can protect you from the brightness until your body has freed itself of the poison."

"But how long can you survive away from the plains?" Cade asked. "You need the energy of the Darklands. Would you sacrifice yourself for us?"

She glanced at Gamma. "I will take your machine," she replied. "It is burning with energy that I can feed on. It will escort me home when we reach the mountains."

The Darklanders had revealed their price: he and Nadina could escape the Darklands, but at the cost of surrendering Ricky. Cade wondered when the Darklanders had formed the plot to capture the machine – perhaps before their party had even reached the city. "So, we trade our lives for the machine?"

Gamma's response was clipped and cold. "If we wished, we would already have the machine and you would be dead." She turned to the doorway, an inhuman emptiness in her eyes and a faint spidering of black veins appearing at her temple. "We would prefer that you survive to draw the Hedonans away from us. We will even offer you a gift in exchange for your machine. Follow me."

As she led them outside, Cade wished he hadn't spoken so recklessly. He should do anything the Darklanders wanted to ensure that Nadina and the Monastery survived.

They approached a long, sandy-coloured building. Inside, small dunes of dust piled against the wheels of an enormous Hedonan vehicle which was shrouded by a canvas sheet. Cade forgot Ricky, forgot the toxic Darklands. Here was a huge, undeniable monument to their freedom!

"Does it work?" Cade asked.

"As far as we can tell," Gamma replied. "Two Hedonans managed to drive it here."

Cade chilled at the mention of the name. Wherever they went, there were enemies. "What were they doing here?"

"We don't know. They arrived years ago when they found a pass into the crater. But they were sick from travelling in our lands and they died soon after."

"Hedonans came this far into the Darklands? With a truck?" He had thought that nobody would chase them this far out, but perhaps soldiers were already on the Plains, hunting them down.

Cade lifted one corner of the canvas off the snub nose of the vehicle, releasing a haze of dust. The vehicle was painted a mossy green with a rusty metal grille and staring headlights. A rare and expensive oil-driven engine; it must have been on an important mission. He hauled off the rest of the covering. The vehicle was as long as a house, with an enormous fuel tank mounted behind the driver's cabin and a wooden slatted platform over its back wheels, loaded with crates.

"This is where your food came from," said Gamma.

Cade pulled the door open and clambered into the carriage. It smelled of dusty old leather. Several chrome-ringed gauges lined the vehicle's control panel. He flicked a switch beside the steering wheel and the gauges' needles jumped.

"It still has fuel!" he yelled. He leapt to the ground and surveyed the vehicle's rear tray, sizing up Ricky. If they removed the crates they would have room for him.

Cade clambered up the front of the vehicle. Sure enough, there was a crank that folded flat against the grille, just as he had seen in Hedona. He fitted it to its socket, then leaned on the crank with all his weight. A rumble and a cough came from deep within the vehicle, then there was silence. Before he could call to her, Nadina was at his side. They lifted at the handle with all their might, driving it downwards in a great sweep. The engine spluttered into life, roaring and rattling. The two Darklanders shrank from the rumbling of the machine. Cade swung inside the driver's compartment and flicked a switch. The cabin was silent once again.

"Yes!" Nadina whooped. "Mountains here we come!"

"We still have to get out of the Darklands." Cade wiped the sweat from his brow. "And I don't have any idea how to get out of here. Unless..." He rummaged in a tray slung under the passenger's seat and found a folded stack of paper. "Yes!"

He pulled the bundle of maps free and clambered out of the vehicle. He unfolded one of the larger maps as Gamma and Eriol craned over. The map was a whorl of lines, marked meticulously with tiny squares and lines. A black line cut across the sheet. "That's the Darklander track," he pointed out. "And this..." He gestured to a light, incomplete arc at the edge of the page.

"The crater?" Gamma asked, with a trace of fear finding its way through her calm demeanour.

Cade nodded. "The map isn't finished. They were filling in the blanks."

Gamma looked out over the plains and the air crackled. "They cannot discover us!" she whispered. "The two who came in this machine were like animals, even as they were dying from the brightness of our land. We were forced to end their lives!"

Cade's fingers tingled and the air went cold. He didn't know if the feeling came from her words alone, or from a more sinister source.

"Ricky!" he yelled. "We're going to find your family!" Cade felt dirtied by the lie. Even though it was just a machine, it was impossible not to think of Ricky as a person. "Do you want to ride in the back?"

Ricky clambered eagerly onto the tray of the vehicle and its springs groaned. They halved the canvas sheet and tied it over him.

"Let me drive," said Nadina. "I used to take my parents' car." Cade was happy to allow her.

They farewelled Gamma. Eriol gave the other woman an uncertain nod and locked eyes with her for a lingering moment. Their feelings did not show at all in their outer appearance and were unreadable to Cade and Nadina.
Chapter X

They travelled for hours. As the Darklands streaked past as they neared the mountains. As clumps of grass appeared beside the road, Cade felt as excited as a child seeing the first patches of mountain snow. The toxic desert was now behind them and they had rejoined the living world.

Signs of habitation appeared beside the road: a patchwork of fields, some green, others brown and stripped of their crops. Cows turned their heads to follow their progress. Occasionally, Nadina swung the wheel to swerve around a horse-drawn cart, the other driver glaring hatefully at the Hedonan vehicle and its khaki-uniformed occupants.

The piled remains of burnt carts beside the farm-house should have alerted Cade earlier. As they drew closer, he saw that the ramshackle building had been fortified, with the windows boarded up. A log had been dragged across the road. He looked around for a sidetrack, or a break in the stone walls beside the road, but it was too late.

"Nadina," he said. "Checkpoint."

She swore and hammered her palms on the steering wheel. "The bastards! When will they leave us alone?"

"Don't worry," Cade said. "We're in Hedonan uniforms, we'll tell them we're returning from a patrol."

She panted, her forehead shiny with perspiration. "Do we look like soldiers? Look at me!" She gestured at her face, taking her hands off the wheel. "You think these marks make me a soldier?"

"Watch the road," Eriol said. Cade glanced at her – she was looking straight ahead, the tendons beneath her jaw knotted and her eyes blank.

Cade slid his hand behind his neck. _Ricky?_ He sensed the machine's mind churning behind him and its intensity rose as it became aware of him. _Ricky!_ _Don_ _'_ _t_ _answer_ _me,_ _you_ _'_ _re_ _too_ _close!_ he thought quickly. _This_ _is_ _really_ _important._ _Whatever_ _happens_ _now,_ _don_ _'_ _t_ _move_ _a_ _muscle_ _until_ _I_ _tell_ _you._ He knew that the machine had understood this new game.

Nadina brought the vehicle to a rattling halt in front of the blockade. The Hedonan approached them with a relaxed swagger, his gaze lingering over the vehicle and settling on the occupants, gauging the potential of the prize that had blundered into his trap.

"Who are you, soldier?" he growled. "Lost your badges, eh?"

"Darklands patrol, sir. We're off-duty."

"This your auto?"

Cade nodded. "My division's, anyway. I have to take it back to the city."

"It's sitting pretty low. What you got there?"

"Scrap metal," he replied. "We found it in the Darklands. With the iron shortage in the city right now, it should be worth the effort to drag it back."

Cade watched in the mirror as the soldier walked to the rear of the truck and lifted a corner of the canvas.

"You lifted this all on your own? Or did the women help?"

Cade felt a drop of sweat slide between his shoulder blades. "We're the advance party. The others stopped at a village for food."

"Which village?" the soldier snapped, almost before Cade had finished talking.

"We didn't ask," Cade said. The breaking of his voice sealed their fate.

The soldier gestured with his rifle. "Get down. All of you."

He opened the door and climbed down – too stiffly to appear natural. His brain buzzed with every image of a soldier he had ever seen, mixed up with Malcott and Lendora and Lance. What would they say? How would they act? He tightened his grip on the rusted metal until his hands stopped shaking.

"Get down here, you lazy whores!" he yelled. The pale face of Eriol appeared at the door above him.

The soldier swung his rifle in Cade's face as he reached the ground. "Put your hands against the truck!"

A flutter of khaki from above made Cade glance up. For a moment, the shape of Eriol eclipsed the sun. A deep chill tugged at him, as if the sun had truly disappeared. Eriol landed lightly and wrapped the soldier in her arms. The soldier slumped like a dropped puppet, the gun hanging downwards from his grip, and she wrestled him around to clasp him from behind like a wildcat pinning a deer. Her face was luminously pale and tracked over with black lines, her eyes pools of blackness.

Cade leapt forward like a released spring. He wrenched the rifle from the slack hands of the soldier and drove the butt under its owner's ribs. The air hissed from his lungs and he fell from Eriol's arms. Nadina jumped from the vehicle and Cade tossed her the rifle.

"Take Eriol and get behind the truck!"

Cade Connected, throwing his awareness away from the dark hole of Eriol's presence.

The soldier was motionless on the ground, his life a faint shimmer; a lamp burning its last drops of oil. Cade grasped the five red-hot minds of his enemies within the farm-house and felt the sights of their rifles trace a tingling pattern over his chest. He felt the bumps of a grenade pressed into a palm, felt its reassuring heaviness. The Connection wavered, then died. It had no answer to a weapon that would shred anything within range. There was no path other than inaction.

Cade dropped to his knees, raising his hands above his head, deactivating as he went.

"Don't throw it!" he yelled towards the farm-house.

Two Hedonans approached him, gesturing towards the house with their rifles. Cade rose and walked towards them, bracing himself against the crack of bullets which Connection could no longer defend him against.

"Both of you!" shouted one of the soldiers. "Step out where we can see you!"

Cade walked obediently to the farm house door. With all his options snatched away he was a machine, controlled by those who could abuse and kill at their leisure. The soldiers herded them into the house, down creaking wooden stairs, then shoved them into the cellar.
Chapter 21

"It's locked," said Cade, as Nadina rattled the door. "You've been trying ever since they went away."

"But it feels loose! It's just a cellar, there must be a way out."

"It's bolted from the outside. You'll bring the guards down with all that noise!"

She slumped against the door. "You know what they're going to do to me when they get back?"

Cade had tried to keep that thought from his mind. The odour of a butcher's shop persisted in the cellar like a bad memory and the stone floor was splotched with rust-brown stains. Others had been locked in here before, and they had found no way out.

The wooden beams that supported the roof of the cellar creaked as the floorboards shifted in the house above. They had heard soldiers leave - doubtless to see if the three of them were the advance party of a larger group. Cade's Connection had found three minds remaining; two of them preoccupied with a stricken comrade whose thoughts had been snuffed out by Eriol's deathly influence.

"How long will that soldier be knocked out?" Cade asked her.

"I tried not to kill that one - it could be an hour. If he ever wakes up."

One hour before an angry Hedonan would come down to seek his vengeance. Cade's racing mind was fuelled by the obscenities that would be dealt out to Nadina and Eriol. In his mind he feverishly acted out, then rejected, a dozen escape plans.

He glanced at Eriol. Her features were placid, unstirred by emotion, yet the slender girl in the too-large army coat looked unbearably vulnerable. He wanted to embrace her thin body, to feel his heart pound against her chest. Yet that action would still the beating of his heart, as surely as it had the soldier's.

Eriol caught his eye, then looked away, uncomfortable with the intimacy she sensed there. "The machine is still free," she said, as if changing the subject to draw his scrutiny away from her.

"He can't do anything," Cade replied. "He's power-limited."

"You can talk to him," she said. "A prisoner who can converse freely with one at liberty, is already a single step from freedom."

A smile lit up Nadina's face. "That's right, Cade! He would scare the wits out of anyone who doesn't know him!"

"Ricky would run at the first sight of a gun - he can't break the behaviour patterns he's been forced into."

He looked at the ceiling. At the far end of the cellar, tufts of spidery roots grew between the rafters. He tried to imagine the layout of the farm-house above. He reached for his neck.

_Ricky?_ he thought.

"Can I move yet?" The machine's whispered thought was still uncomfortably loud.

"Yes. We´re safe now - the bad men are gone. Do you want to play a game?"

Ricky's happiness was a blinding beam of sunlight. "Yes!"

"See that building? We're hiding there. Come and find us."

"Sure. Can you give me a hint?"

"Follow my voice."

A tremor shook the musty air as Ricky jumped from the truck. "I'm coming!"

The rhythmic thudding of his feet shook the room. Dirt fell between the cracks of the ceiling and pattered on the stone floor. Cade motioned the others towards the door.

"Here I come!" yelled Ricky. Cade recoiled from the Connection as if it was a hot stove. Cade Disconnected as the far end of the cellar collapsed in an avalanche of soil and rubble. Ricky shrieked in surprise and the metal slab of his foot twisted in the ceiling as he tried to wrench it out. The air filled with choking dust and they could barely see as they clambered up the collapsed wooden beams towards freedom. In a moment, the three of them gasped in the sweet air.

They were behind the farm building. The cellar had protruded beyond the floor of the house and had collapsed into a shallow funnel under the weight of Ricky. He hulked beside them, having extracted himself from the pitfall.

"That was a bad trick," he said, glaring at Cade. "I'm not going to play any more."

Nadina threw her arms around his metal leg and kissed the dusty metal.

"Some guards are still here," said Eriol.

Cade cast the Connection out and found the two soldiers' minds, red-hot with alarm. They had discovered the escape and were racing for their weapons. "They are getting grenades!" he said. "We need to stop them now!"

"They took my gun," Nadina replied. "I'll stay out here."

He looked around and grabbed a heavy shovel – close enough to a staff. Charging into the house, he let the Connection guide him to the men. He felt them in the next room, but blurrily; he reeled from the Connection, its influence like alcohol in his veins. Where was the clarity and fluidity, the power of Connectedness? He burst into the room and took a rifle butt in the stomach. The explosion of pain drove the breath out of him and he half-collapsed, the stitches in his bullet wound rupturing. As the rifle butt arced towards the back of his neck, he shifted his weight and swung the shovel up, catching the soldier under the chin with the blade. The second soldier joined the attack. Cade whirled the shovel furiously around him, cracking bones and bruising flesh, relying less on the Connection than on a lifetime of sparring practice. He broke the fallen men's necks swiftly, then stood panting, his body hot with pain, the handle locked in his grip.

A black storm-cloud blotted out his awareness of Connection. He saw Eriol through a doorway, stooped over something on the kitchen table. Her hands plunged down and Cade Deactivated as the blackness gaped and threatened to drag him into it. He stumbled to her side. Her hands and face were veined like white marble and she convulsed as if in a fit. The soldier lolled lifelessly under her hands. Cade screamed at her to stop and grasped her shoulder. His hand turned to ice. She straightened and turned towards Cade. The black veins were retreating from her temples, but her eyes were still pools of darkness.

She spoke. "Energy cannot disappear from the world. What is lost from our enemy's body, is gained by mine. Do not be alarmed."

Cade ran from the house, his heart hammering as if it was trying to climb out of his chest and flee ahead of him.
Chapter 22

Nadina drove the truck hard, her fingers tensed around the wheel as if fearful of being dragged from the cabin. The engine rattled and the seat springs and metal joints squealed as if in pain.

"Too close," she muttered. "Way too close. If we come across more of them, I'm going to put this truck right through the middle of them!"

"Slow down," Cade said. "The farmers here are too poor for the Hedonans to bother with blockades. It's more likely we'll end up hitting a ditch or hole."

It was the way it all swept past, faster than the speed of thought, which disturbed him. All his life he had moved methodically, leaving no rock or patch of earth unconsidered. He undid the knot of tension in his chest and trusted the Hedonan to handle the machine that was built for her kind.

Eriol gazed out the side window, her eyes drawn to the distant smudge of clouds where the plains met the sky. She had the helpless tremor of a lost child, yet her face was more unreadable than usual, as if the murder of the soldier had further distanced her from her more human companions. Cade's thoughts left him with no impulse to talk.

Even with the Connection, he had almost been beaten by the soldiers' attack. Connection was the source of his confidence, of his ability to smash a clear path through a world crowded with hard, violent men. Loss of the ability was like a slow illness - the best part of him shrivelling away and leaving him an invalid at the mercy of common fears.

Gradually, low scrub replaced farmland and the terrain broke apart into rocky outcrops. Soon they were on a narrow road winding through sparse forest. The midday sun found its way between the scattered pines and clouds of midges danced in its beams. The road climbed a ridge, with a sea of inverted-vee pines sweeping downwards on both sides. The mountain range rose in front of them, solemn and majestic. The trees crowded in on both sides, cutting out much of the afternoon sun. Low-hanging tree branches banged and screeched at the roof of the driver's cabin.

Without warning, Nadina locked up the brakes and slowed down. "Is this it?" she asked.

Ahead was a fork in the road. The left branch continued as before, but the right was a rocky horse-trail. Cade squinted at the dense squiggles of the map, trying to match them to the peaks above. "I think so - there is only one pass through this area of the mountains. There should be a small village an hour up the path, so if we don't find it, we can turn back."

She flipped the switch and the engine died. The only sounds were the whirring of insects and the pinging of the cooling engine. "Well, I'd rather do anything than sit in this seat for another minute."

She leapt to the ground and stretched like a cat. Eriol remained in her seat, her white hands clasped in her lap. She stared out the window, her eyes unfocused.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Sorry," she whispered. "It's all so alive!"

"Don't worry," he spoke gently. "It won't hurt you. It's just like me and Nadina."

She turned to face him. Her pupils were black pools sparkling in the whites of her eyes.

"No, not like you! You have a world in your heads, separate from all this. It is mindless, empty, rotting – eating itself! I need to go back."

Cade started to lay a reassuring hand on her arm, then checked the movement as his fingers numbed ominously. His hand was still tingling from the last time he had touched her. What would the wet-rot smell of the pine forest and the screeching of birds be like for someone who had only ever touched a living thing in order to kill it?

"We'll look after you." He eased himself out of the open door and clambered down, his legs creaking and stiff from the journey.

Eriol followed timidly. They had packed some food from the Hedonan ambush, and Ricky heaved their packs off the tray of the vehicle with a metallic grunt. He jumped down with an earthshaking thud and the vehicle bucked wildly on its springs. Nadina had already opened one of the packs and was rummaging inside, her hair spilling over her face. She triumphantly removed two apples and tossed one to Cade. She crunched into the other with twin rows of teeth. Cade looked at the pitted, worm-scarred fruit, and his stomach clenched. He handed it back.

"Save it for later," he said.

Eriol spoke louder than he had ever heard. "Cade. I'm leaving now."

He stopped. He had got so used to her presence that he had barely thought of their pact with the Darklanders. "Back to the Darklands?"

She nodded, twisting the sleeves of her dress in her palms and refusing to look at him. Nadina continued digging in the pack silently. Cade looked at Ricky. He imagined all his hopes for protecting the Monastery walking away into the Darklands. Yet, that was the cost of their lives, and they were honour-bound to keep the bargain. He approached Eriol and she seemed to become more frail – her eyes widening in her thin, pale face. He reached for her hand, then stopped. He didn't realise how much important a reassuring touch could be until he had met Eriol.

"Goodbye, Eriol," he said. "Thank you for our lives. I hope you have a safe trip." The words sounded fake without an embrace.

"I'll be fine," she said. "I can protect myself, and I never get tired when Ricky is around. Distance goes quickly when you don't need to sleep."

Cade called to Ricky and the machine lumbered up. "Ricky, Eriol is leaving us. I want you to go with her."

The machine stopped. "Where? For how long?"

"Back to Eriol's house. Back to your family's place."

The eyes beneath the glass plating looked confused. "But why did we come all this way, then? How will I find my family if I go back?" The machine hunched, its eyes glaring and its voice rising in a metallic crescendo. "And why do you want to leave me behind?"

Cade grasped for a lie that would satisfy the machine. "Eriol and her family want to look after you. It's too dangerous for children where we are going."

"No! I'm not going!" The machine heaved with sobs that made its engines whine. "I want to stay with you!"

"I'm sorry," Cade yelled. "You need to go!"

"Can't! Can't!" Ricky screamed so loudly that Eriol cringed and edged backwards. The machine thrashed and beat its fists on the ground, spraying dirt and stones across the clearing. Cade and Nadina joined Eriol cowering behind the vehicle. Ricky's voice hit a breaking point and became a mechanical screech of tearing metal. "Can't! Can't! Multiple hostiles in range! Can't! Targets tracked! Can't!" He collapsed with an earth-pounding boom and sobbed into his claws.

Nadina relaxed her grip on Cade's arm slightly and leaned close to his ear. "What's happened to Ricky?"

"His whole world is built around us now, since the Ancients are gone."

"I think he's just lonely," she replied. She approached the machine.

"Hey Ricky," she said, laying her hand on a metal claw. "I won't leave you."

His head swung around to look at her through tear-stained eyes. "You promise?"

She nodded. "We can't make you leave if that's what you really want." She turned to Cade and Eriol. "We should let him make up his own mind."

Eriol spoke under her breath to Cade. "I swore to return with the machine. I am trapped here until it can be made to follow me."

"So this was all about Ricky?" Cade asked.

She remained silent for a long time before speaking. "I have no future here. You have Nadina, and friends in the Monastery who need your help."

Cade spoke without thinking. "In the Darklands, you were just another Gamma - I could barely tell you apart when we met. What future is there hiding in the Darklands? Stay with us."

"Well, it seems that I have no option now," she said. She ventured a glance at his face before looking down at her feet. "And I am glad not to have to make that choice."

Cade smiled at her. "So am I." He called to Ricky. "Hear that? We're all staying!"

Ricky struggled to his feet and loped up to Cade to smother him in a hard-edged embrace.

They set out along the mountain path, which wound up a ridge and curved around rock-falls. Ricky had difficulty with the uneven terrain. In several places his girth forced him to edge sideways along the narrow path, his metal shell screeching against granite boulders. Eriol moved silently, never showing any tiredness, while Nadina panted as she hauled herself up the slope. Cade was forced to slow down and wait for the others, allowing him time to look ahead for signs of trouble.

As Cade had predicted, they reached the village within the hour. The plateau was a platform halfway up the mountain, with the peak rising to the left and a sheer drop to the right. Rows of unruly crops crowded the plateau. Pumpkin vines sprawled everywhere, choking the other plants. The air stank of rotten, overripe vegetables dissolving into the earth.

Cottages clustered at the opposite end of the plateau, shadowed by the edge of a thick pine forest. Several of the buildings were burnt to blackened skeletons. Cade motioned to take care and they set off wordlessly towards the village. Beside the path were hastily-built barricades - piles of stone and wood scored with bullet marks. Cade called out as they reached the houses. A door creaked open.

"I have nothing left!" a voice croaked from inside. "Leave me in peace!"

"Don't be scared!" Nadina called. "We are travellers passing through. And this machine is harmless."

The door opened wider. An old man glared at them from the shadow of the doorway. "Turn around and go home! There is nothing here."

"We must travel this way," said Cade. "Who did this?"

The man emerged from the ramshackle cottage, as hesitantly as a snail from its shell. He had a straggling white beard and pale skin hung from the bones of his face. His eyes glared hatefully from their creased sockets. "You aren't Hedonans?"

Cade nudged Nadina into silence and spoke first. "It was Hedonans who did this?"

"Yes! They stole our food and harassed us in the fields. Eventually, we had no choice but to fight. They stormed the village \- there were more of them than we thought. They have set up a base guarding the pass above us, blocking our trade with the higher villages."

"What happened to the rest of your village?"

"My family is hiding in the mountains with the other survivors. They are afraid to return while there are Hedonans in the mountains. We cannot tend our crops and we will not survive the winter without shelter!" The old man's eyes glittered with tears.

Cade knew what the right decision was without thinking. "We will try to get rid of the troops."

Nadina shook her head. "Sorry, we can't. Half the Hedonan army is chasing us already. It would only put us and your family in more danger."

"Nadina!" Cade grabbed her shoulder. "We can't just leave these people. And if we make a detour, we'll reach the Monastery too late!" He looked to Eriol for support.

She dropped her gaze, afraid of the anger in his eyes. "Wherever Ricky goes, I go."

Nadina glared at Cade. "You want to stop and clean up someone else's mess, when all we should be doing is getting out of here as fast as we can?"

The friction between their personalities had always been a knife resting gently against a whirring grindstone. Now the pressure was applied and sparks flew with his words. "Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?"

Her words were sharp and angled to cut. "I gave up my whole life for you and you call me selfish! You're too young: just a little boy playing soldiers."

Nadina's petulant scowl made her into a selfish child herself, ugly in her obstinacy. Fatigue and anxiety had dissolved away the sticky threads of lust which had bound them together, leaving two very different individuals. Cade spoke. "We need to get through the pass, with or without you. And we need to stop thinking only of ourselves all the time, or we're no better than the Hedonans!"

She physically swelled with anger at the words, before unleashing her response. "Well, this Hedonan has had enough of you!" She whirled about and stormed towards the truck, every stomp of her foot an attack against him. "I never asked to be dragged into this. Fight your own fights. I'm driving back to Hedona to find a real man who isn't a freak!"

Cade watched her progress towards the other end of the plateau. He was tired of the fighting, tired of struggling to hold her close. She was a Hedonan, and that would always be an unbridgeable gap between them. He turned to the old man. "It's not your fault. That was coming eventually."

The old man placed a hand on his shoulder. His eyes were clouded by a lifetime's pain, yet they held a sympathy for one yet to plumb the full depths of suffering. "Hold your ground," he said. "She needs a strong man."

Cade took a deep breath. Better to think of the Monastery, of violence and strength, of pushing forward towards his goal. "How far away is the outpost?"

"You can see the pass from the top of the mountain. There is a path – I sometimes took my children up there to watch the sunrise."

"Take me there."

The old man led, scuttling up the mountain like a spider. His body seemed little more than leather stretched over a skeleton, yet his skinny, knotted calves propelled him upwards without effort. Cade hauled himself up one rock after another, his toned body responding well to the task. Cade's shirt was damp with sweat by the time there was no more rock above, only cloud-spattered sky.

The mountain range stretched away like an ocean of stone waves. The Monastery was in one of those valleys. For a terrifying moment, Cade was on the cliffs above the Monastery, watching Malcott fall. All the strength left his legs, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. The wind snapped at his hair and threatened to wrench him over the edge. He hung to the mountain with clawed fingers. Clouds scudded across the sky above them, so close that Cade felt he could jump up and touch them.

"Over there," the old man said. Cade steeled himself against vertigo and followed the direction of the man's finger into the valley below. The clearing of the village was a green platform hugging the mountain. Ricky glinted in the sun as he lumbered about in the fields playing some game. Cade could see where the horse-trail continued through the forest beyond the village and wound around the mountain. It led to the cement square of the Hedonan fortifications, sprawled across a pass between their vantage point and a neighbouring peak.

The structure was larger than Cade had imagined, with several wooden barracks, a squat bunker, and a wooden sentry tower which stood at the entrance to the compound. Wood smoke rose from a generator building and banks of electric lights faced outwards from the perimeter.

Several olive-green vehicles waited in a row. He Activated and cast his awareness downwards, seeking the minds below. Ricky's thoughts murmured as he played in the field far below. Close to Ricky was a blurred hole in the Connection where Eriol absorbed the surrounding energy. He concentrated on the compound. There were humans inside, but their minds were blurred and the Memory was silent. He de-Activated and contemplated the base below. His Connection ability was worse than ever. Perhaps being close to Ricky had dulled his abilities or damaged the brain-pin?

The inevitability of his fate settled upon him - they were completely out-gunned without a reliable Connection ability. He looked back the way they had come, but the clearing where they had parked the vehicle was hidden. Nadina was probably on her way to Hedona, crunching and grinding the engine as she drove furiously.

Cade turned to the man. "Do they ever have any deliveries or contact with Hedona?"

"No. They spend their time raiding the surrounding villages."

"I need you to tell me everything you know about the soldiers: how many there are and what weapons they have. Their routines and where they get firewood for that generator."

The old man told him. There were around twenty men, well organised, with regular patrols. They appeared to have a military sharpness which was lacking in most far-flung Hedonan patrols. This must be an important strategic entrance to the mountains.

By the time they returned to the village, Cade had a plan worked out. Ricky was first to greet him, full of stories of his adventures in the boulders around the village. They went to the old man's cabin to find Eriol sitting by a table. She glanced up as they entered.

"Is she gone?" Eriol asked.

Cade nodded and slumped down opposite her. He only felt a numbness, a further withdrawing from the world. "There's just the three of us now. Sorry."

"Was it because of me?"

"No. It's just the way she is."

His first foray into intimacy had led to a dead end. All other paths seemed universally bleak, leaving him no choice but to push his feelings aside and keep trudging towards the Monastery. "I can have another word with Ricky. I'm sure I could trick him into following you into the Darklands."

"No! I swore to Gamma that I would protect you. While you are in danger, I will stay."

Cade wondered where this irrational courage came from. Her part of the bargain was complete - they were free of the taint of the Darklands. It should be him alone facing his enemies, as it was in the beginning. With Nadina gone, he immediately slipped into the pragmatic role of a Master.

"Go," he said.

She remained silent and refused to meet his eyes. He dreaded putting her life at risk, yet was glad to have a partner by his side. He explained his plan and they waited for nightfall.

Cade found a rake leaning beside one of the cottages. He tested its strength across his knee - the wood was dense and hard, adequate for a staff. A sword would have been more effective, but the feel of the wood in his hands was familiar and reassuring. He considered leaving the rake's iron head attached, but he was a Master, not a swineherd, and he removed it. He whirled it about him. It didn't have the perfect heft of his old staff, but it would do.
Chapter 23

Pale moonlight fell between the branches, patterning the path with shadows. Cade dreaded each footfall, as if the crack of a twig would call forth a storm of bullets.

The darkness confounded Ricky, so Cade led him by his giant claw, the whirring of his motors silencing the crickets as they passed. Cade cringed at every whine and thud. He cursed the Ancients for building such a noisy war machine: although in Ricky's original state, any enemy close enough to hear him would be close enough to be obliterated.

Eriol halted. "It's here!"

Cade stopped mid-step and stared into the gloom until spots danced in his eyes.

"I'm scared!" whispered Ricky.

Cade squeezed his pincer and gave him a reassuring smile, a smile that was a mask stretched over his quivering nerves. "Don't worry – we'll look after you. Just don't do anything until I say."

"This is a bad place, I can feel it!"

Ricky was right. From around the next bend the floodlights of the Hedonan blockade threw long shadows up the cliffs. The lights were electric – the same as the streetlights in Hedona – and they brought the same diseased aura to the valley as they did to the city's alleyways. Bitter, fearful memories awoke in Cade, then anger; a vengeful desire to smash the blockade into darkness.

"Wait here in the bushes until I tell you to run. Don't do anything else unless I tell you to."

Cade and Eriol crept along the path, leaving Ricky hiding in the forest. They rounded a bend and the opposite side of the valley glowed like day in a pool of electric light. Eriol paused, then vanished. Cade blinked.

"Where are you?" he whispered.

Her voice came from right in front of his face. "Here! I'm taking the light from around me."

If he looked slightly to one side, he could see the blurred outline of Eriol waving at the edge of his vision. They moved off the path, with Eriol melting in and out of the forest in front of him. Cade stooped low and crept slowly, testing the ground gently with every step for the springy resistance of a twig or the crunch of dry leaves. He heard an explosion of laughter from the soldiers ahead.

He Activated. There was a blur of sleeping minds in the barracks and two alert men in the watchtower. And... something else. Not a mind, but the absence of one. It was in the mountains above, flickering in and out of his awareness, moving faster than a human. He concentrated his Connection towards it, but the sensation disappeared. It was probably a phantom caused by his defective and untrustworthy Connection. He felt Eriol directly in front of him. He de-Activated before the buzz-saw of her mind could catch at the threads of his Connection.

He needed to deal with the guards first, quickly and silently. That would leave him free to approach the barracks. Then he would use the mind-jamming ability that had appeared on the train. This was the great unknown factor - he was not sure how it had happened, or if he could manage a second time. His bitter parting with Nadina made her seem a distant memory, faceless and blurred. Maybe it would be impossible without her.

As a grisly ending to the attack, they would slosh fuel from the vehicles over the unconscious soldiers, before sending the compound up in flames. He wondered what burning flesh would smell like, and hated himself for the thought. Two eyes like white stones blinked at him from the darkness - Eriol had turned to confirm the attack. Cade nodded and she disappeared once again.

Beyond the wire fence of the compound, an old truck engine rattled in the darkness. In front of him, a shadow detached itself from the black tree trunks and flowed across the clearing along the fence. Eriol paused near the generator. Her shadow swelled and the generator coughed and stuttered. The pools of harsh electric light shrunk to glowing orange filaments in the darkness.

Cade Activated, then surged forward under cover of the darkness. He leapt at the fence, hooking his fingers into the wire links and scrabbling with his boots. The choking, failing generator covered the sound of his climbing. The sleepy minds in the watchtower oozed mild annoyance at the generator's problems. He dropped to the ground on the other side of the fence; if he was spotted, he would have to fight his way out. He became aware of a throbbing in his bullet wound, as if his guts were cringing in anticipation of future trauma.

The solid metal gate to the compound was barred with a latch, which he lifted silently. He ran in a crouch to the base of the watchtower, borne forwards on a wave of adrenaline. He cringed, waiting for the sharp beam of the watchmen's awareness to fall across him. He could no longer trust the Connection to weave him out of the path of bullets.

Like a rat reaching a corner after dashing across a room, Cade paused beneath the watchtower. There was a ladder to the top, about three or for body-lengths high. He cast his awareness upwards - the guards were talking about the women of a nearby village, their minds glowing contentedly with the arousal of old memories, detached from the present. He paused a moment, forcing himself to breathe deeply. He felt safer in inaction, knowing that any movement of advance or retreat would once again leave him open to discovery.

He pushed aside that thought and trusted to the Connection, swinging up the ladder silently, his staff gripped in one hand. A moment later, he was hovering behind the men, their backs to the ladder. He felt his heart banging in his ears and tasted metal in his mouth. He waited for the Connection to lead him into the combat state.

The guard's fear ignited like a fuel-soaked fire. Cade froze, waiting for Connection combat to grip him. The soldier swore and fumbled for his rifle. The other swung his to a firing position, yet was too close. Cade didn't wait for the Connection – he whirled his staff and smashed the rifle to one side, discharging it, and continued the sweep towards the second guard. The staff whistled through empty air. Cade fumbled about himself with the Connection, its feelers sluggish. The men's minds were a crimson haze all around him, suffocating him with their rage. He whirled the staff blindly and a thud of contact jarred his arm.

The butt of a rifle loomed in his vision, then a hive of hornets screamed inside his head. The rough wooden planks of the floor leapt up to meet him, then he doubled up in agony as the butt of the rifle slammed into a kidney. Every blow that savaged his stomach or kidneys was worse than the last and he screamed, drowning in hot pain. As if escaping his body, his mind leapt out through the traitorous Connection.

He felt Eriol's influence suck at his Connection as she drained the life of a soldier below.

Ricky's mind trembled on the edge of panic. Eriol's Drain bloomed again and another life winked out of the Connection. A horrible pain flared, his or Eriol's he could not tell. He heard a scream. _Eriol!_ Her Drain flickered as she lapsed into unconsciousness and she dropped away from the Connection.

"It's over now!" a Hedonan voice lisped next to his ear. "You want to see what we do to your woman?"

Cade tried to crawl away, but a pair of strong hands yanked him over the edge of the lookout platform. One eye refused to see and the other was blurred, but he could make out soldiers circling Eriol's collapsed body, unwilling to risk her deathly touch. Their companions had opened the main gate and were advancing into the forest beyond.

"How many more are there?" the voice yelled next to his ear, making it ring. "Tell us or I'll throw you down face first!"

Cade tried to talk, but bloody drool stuck the words in his throat. He felt as if he were already dead, lying in the trench that was waiting for them in the forest. Only Nadina was left, to be hunted down alone. He felt a flicker of happiness at the thought that he wouldn't live long enough to see it, that the soldiers would end the torture of his chase soon. His vision blurred with that of Ricky's – he was cowering at the edge of the forest, transfixed between the imagined horrors of the darkness behind and the painful sensations in the clearing. He needed to be with Cade.

_No!_ Cade thought. _Run!_

Ricky felt him through the Connection and began lumbering into the clearing, into the blazing lights. Cade ground his eyes shut and tried to block the Connection. The soldier swore and dropped Cade, raising his weapon. Cade's cheek caught the railing of the lookout as he sunk to the floor. Unable to look away, or unConnect, he was forced to endure Ricky's last moments.

Bullets thudded into Ricky, denting his shell and hammering him like hail. The machine stumbled and fell with a earth-shaking boom. He thrashed, screaming as bullets pinged and whined. A command was screamed above the din and the bullets ceased. The soldiers parted, allowing two men to come to the fore. They knelt with cylindrical tubes over their shoulders. Ricky whimpered, curling into a ball.

_Run!_ screamed Cade through the Connection. _They_ _'_ _ve_ _got_ _rockets!_

Waves of panic jammed Ricky's circuits and he froze in the searchlights that converged on the centre of the clearing. Smoke coughed from the rear of the launchers and flames streaked towards him. The first flash filled Cade's eyes with blinding whiteness, then two tremendous explosions rolled and bounced around the valley. Flaming debris arced through the air and metal fragments tinkled as they rained upon the compound. Ricky lay motionless on his side, a gaping hole in his back glowing with red embers, one enormous arm flailing with its claws open. The soldiers gave a cheer and unloaded their rifles into the stricken machine.

Chapter 24

_I_ _can_ _'_ _t_ _see!_ _I_ _hurt_ _so_ _bad,_ _worse_ _than_ _in_ _the_ _rock_ _slide._ _And_ _it_ _'_ _s_ _getting_ _worse._ _I_ _feel_ _so_ _weak_ _now._ _Mother!_ _Where_ _are_ _you?_ _Help_ _me!_ _I_ _'_ _m_ _so_ _tired._ _Why_ _did_ _those_ _men_ _hurt_ _me?_ _Why_ _won_ _'_ _t_ _Cade_ _help_ _me?_ _He_ _always_ _knows_ _what_ _to_ _do._ _Why_ _am_ _I_ _here?_ _I_ _am_ _Ricky._ _But_ _I_ _can_ _hear_ _Ricky_ _screaming_ _and_ _dying._ _Fading._ _Fading._ _Out_ _of_ _memory._ _Shutting_ _down._

_Starting_ _emergency_ _reactor_ _program._ _I_ _am_ _waking_ _up!_ _Engaging_ _active_ _armour._ _I_ _was_ _so_ _scared!_ _Repairing_ _armour_ _breech._ _But_ _I_ _feel_ _different._ _What_ _am_ _I?_ _Ricky._ _Did_ _I_ _get_ _hurt?_ _Beginning_ _damage_ _assessment._ _I_ _can_ _move_ _again!_ _I_ _'_ _m_ _starting_ _to_ _feel_ _stronger._ _And_ _stronger._ _The_ _men_ _were_ _hurting_ _me,_ _but_ _now_ _the_ _more_ _they_ _try_ _to_ _hurt_ _me_ _the_ _better_ _I_ _feel!_ _I_ _feel..._ _I_ _have_ _never_ _felt_ _this_ _strong!_ _I_ _can_ _hear_ _too_ _–_ _the_ _sound_ _of_ _men_ _yelling,_ _the_ _hammering_ _of_ _their_ _hearts._ _Vision_ _returning._ _It_ _'_ _s_ _night,_ _but_ _I_ _can_ _see_ _everything_ _so_ _clearly!_ _A_ _rainbow_ _of_ _rainbows_ _–_ _thermal_ _to_ _ultraviolet!_ _The_ _men_ _are_ _glowing_ _brightly_ _from_ _exertion._ _I_ _can_ _see_ _the_ _vital_ _organs_ _inside_ _them,_ _their_ _hearts_ _pumping_ _hard_ _in_ _the_ _night._

_Their_ _guns_ _are_ _flashing_ _so_ _brightly,_ _I_ _can_ _see_ _the_ _path_ _of_ _every_ _bullet._ _What_ _am_ _I?_ _I_ _remember_ _that_ _I_ _am_ _Ricky,_ _but_ _I_ _am_ _more_ _than_ _his_ _dreams._ _Purging_ _kinetic_ _extents._ _Deleting_ _state_ _machines._ _More_ _processing_ _units_ _required._ _Searching_ _for_ _nearby_ _network_ _nodes._ _Distributed_ _processing_ _units_ _detected._ _Connected._ _Weapons_ _systems_ _online._ _O_ _mnicannon_ _configured_ _to_ _fire_ _depleted_ _fuel._ _Four_ _anti-materiel_ _mortars_ _in_ _inventory._ _Acquiring_ _targets._
Chapter 25

Ricky's claw quivered and he vaulted to his feet with a twitch of his arm. The soldiers fumbled another volley of rockets into their launchers under the cover of rifle fire. Still Activated, Cade dived towards the machine's mind and fell completely inside. The glass wall that had blocked access to the machine's inner workings was gone. Human minds were fuzzy and incomprehensible, but this was something different. Here were the sensors and filter banks that processed Ricky's vision and he saw the shapes of men scrambling from the field of view. He followed the outlines of their forms as they were processed and analysed by banks of filters, setting off a glittering cascade of thought fragments. He felt the positions of every joint in Ricky's body, as if he was sitting inside the metal skin. All the mysteries of a functioning mind were laid out before him. The machine was hungrily drawing in the Connection from all around. He screamed at Ricky, trying to make him run through sheer willpower.

An answering thought assembled itself in the artificial mind before being hurled at him. "Ricky has been deleted."

"What? Who are you?" Through his own eyes, Cade saw the machine look up at the tower. Ricky's visor was black, the familiar eyes gone.

"Unknown. Irrelevant to current situation."

Two more rockets howled towards Ricky like angry living things. They burst against him, filling the air with a thousand comets and showering the ground with glowing fragments. Ricky showed no reaction; for an instant his shell shimmered blue where the rockets had struck, then the hole in his back healed over with a flash of blue sparks. More soldiers emerged from the barracks. The machine extended an arm and a glowing torrent blasted from its wrist, fanning across the line of troops. Bodies were blown backwards like leaves before a stream of water. Those who were still unharmed scattered in panic. Ricky shifted his attention to the row of armoured trucks and tilted the angle of his wrist. Four grenades lobbed from the omnicannon and the vehicles exploded in balls of flame. Ricky lowered his hand. The soldiers had disappeared, leaving the base deserted and littered with burning debris.

"Out of resources for ammunition synthesis," Ricky thought to Cade. The machine tilted its head towards the sky. "Mother?"

There was an answer from far above, a piercing mechanical howl which buried itself deep within Cade's Memory. Ricky exchanged a quick burst of Connection and lowered his head. An irregular patter of bullets from the forest pinged harmlessly off his armour.

"Damocles satellite strike confirmed."

Cade de-Activated and the cold panic of their situation returned. He rolled over, expecting the butt of a rifle to smash into his face, yet the soldiers had fled. He half-slid, half-climbed down the watchtower ladder and slumped on the ground. A pale form approached. Eriol knelt over him uncertainly, wanting to touch him, yet unable. She jumped, as if surprised by a loud noise, then looked upwards with her mouth open. At the highest point in the sky, an impossibly bright star glimmered, outshining the others. It grew a dozen glowing arms like the spokes of a cart wheel. The trails spread across the sky like the petals of an opening flower, dimly lighting the valley. Since the dawn of life, the night sky had been the home of only the moon and the stars. Now this certainty was being shattered on a cosmic, apocalyptic scale.

"Eriol!" he yelled. "Run!"

She looked at him, wide-eyed. "What does it mean?"

"Death!"

He grabbed her hand without thinking and his arm went dead before he could feel the touch of her skin. The contact startled her into action. They limped through the base, Eriol racing ahead, then returning to his side. The world was a confusion of dark shadows and tree-trunks shining in the harsh white light.

Eriol screamed as Ricky's claws pincered both their waists and hoisted them into the air. Once he had them both clamped, he thundered along the path, leaping over rocks and ditches. The air whistled by them, the forest and sky wheeling. Cade gasped for breath – the machine was choking him!

Just as Cade was on the point of passing out, Ricky skidded to a halt and placed them carefully on the ground beside him. Cade gasped in the sweet, pine-scented air. They were on a hill, giving them a clear view of the base that they had fled. The wooded floor of the valley was lit up with a cold, unbelievably bright light, the treetops glowing silver-green. The streaks in the sky were collapsing in on themselves, growing ever brighter. With the reassuring bulk of Ricky beside them, Cade's fear was pushed away by exhilaration. Something momentous was happening: an awakening of ancient powers.

The mountain pass disappeared in a white flash and a dozen blinding pillars remained frozen in Cade's vision. A heartbeat later a ripple spread outwards, flattening the pines in an expanding circle which raced up the valley towards them. With an earth-shaking boom, the explosion broke over them, bending the tops of the trees. A hot wind howled through the valley and hurled dust and leaves into their faces.

"Target eliminated," Ricky spoke out loud for the first time since the attack – the sound as toneless as the scraping of metal. The machine was a statue overlooking the valley, its empty black eye-slit reflecting the flames below.

Cade remained on his knees, dazed by the fury of the explosion, the flash of the impacts still dancing in his vision. As the explosion died, his attention was drawn to the throbbing of a dozen injuries. He had been badly beaten – but so had Eriol. In a moment, his own pain was pushed from his mind.

"Eriol! Did they hurt you?"

She shrugged stiffly. "I took enough brightness from those soldiers to heal myself. They tried to take my life, so I took theirs." Cade could not tell if she was suppressing pain, or simply uncomfortable with his scrutiny. "You look sick, Cade."

Cade rose to his feet. "I'll survive. We should go back to the village and let them know they are safe."

"No." Ricky cut in, a hint of urgency in his flat voice. "Seismic tremors detected. I will notify when the area is safe."

"What if there are wounded?"

The machine turned its head to face him, the movement as smooth as that of a rifle bolt. Its eye-slit was dark. "No heartbeat signatures detected. Casualties are a hundred percent."

A knot of anxiety twisted in Cade's chest. Could Ricky kill them just as easily, with a casual bone-crunching sweep of his pincers? "You killed them all?"

"You feel anxiety. Similar organisms to those destroyed will grow again. This unit replicates with difficulty, and is more valuable. You are valuable. Eriol is valuable."

Perhaps something of the old Ricky still remained in the gunmetal shell. He hoped so.

Eriol watched the glowing smoke drift into the night. "So much energy!" she said. "What was it?"

"Satellite-based warfare system," Ricky said. "Multiple hyper-velocity entry vehicles with passive tungsten warheads."

"I felt something too, up in the sky," said Cade. "It was a machine from the Nuclear War, still floating above the earth. Ricky told it to drop bombs." Cade glanced at Eriol. She was transfixed by the sight below, with the same strange tenseness that she had while feeding off the soldiers.

"So this is what your people were after?" Cade asked. "Was this why they were willing to risk you on this journey?"

She snapped out of her trance. "All life destroys itself endlessly \- it doesn't need our help to do that. We want freedom, nothing more: with this machine we could leave the Darklands."

"If you take Ricky, how do I know that the other Darklanders won't misuse him? Your people seem to see life as little more than a handy meal."

Her eyes sparked with a rare anger. "I almost died for you many times - you should not dare to question my motives!"

Cade looked at the machine and the Darklander; his two companions transformed into frightening shells of themselves. His heart reached for thoughts of Nadina, before sinking at the memory of their final encounter. Eriol was the only one he had now – a half-alive, untouchable doll of a woman. "You're right," he said. "It's best if Ricky is back in the Darklands where he came from, where he can't do any harm. I'm sorry, I forget how different everything is for you here. You must think our whole world is out to kill you."

"Everything alive wants to kill me, and you. Decay, life fighting life, all around us. And now I am part of it."

She plucked a small shoot from the earth, its top heavy with flowers. She contemplated the tiny blooms. The reflections of the fires below danced in the twin blackness of her pupils. "You see? All the flowers this plant pushes out with such effort. It exists only to create more life, to replicate the same endless struggling. More fighting, more suffering." She shivered and the plant drooped, its leaves hanging downwards. "Just stop! Die!"

She looked up. Her eyes pleaded for the sanctuary of an embrace and Cade moved automatically to take her in his arms.

There was a whir as Ricky came to life. "Connection anomaly detected." Ricky's head swung from side to side, his claws grasping the empty air, before turning his empty visor towards Eriol. "Anti-network jamming detected."

"You feel the Connection?" Cade asked.

"This unit needs Connection to replace damaged processing units. When the network is damaged, I am damaged," the machine turned its barrel head towards Cade, its eye slot dark and empty, a manic edge creeping into its voice. "What damages you, damages me. What damages life, damages all."

"Relax," said Cade. "Eriol won't hurt you."

As if Ricky had forgotten the incident, its grating voice returned to a monotone. "Blast site has stabilised."

They walked towards the flattened Hedonan stronghold. Many of the pines beside the path leaned against their neighbours, their roots reaching sideways into empty space. As they approached the impact site the devastation became worse, until all that was left of the forest was slivers of wood that crunched under their feet. The air stunk of burning sulphur and charred wood. Both sides of the mountain had sheared off in a landslide which blocked the pass with smoking soil and boulders.

"Follow me," said Ricky, clambering up the boulders like a metal beetle. Cade and Eriol climbed the debris. The sulphurous stench of vaporised rock was choking, so Cade took off his shirt and wrapped it around his face. The earth was hot beneath his hands. He climbed to the top and waited for Eriol, who was still struggling halfway up the heap. Her pale face bobbed in the darkness, streaked with dirt.

After scrambling down the other side, the destruction lessened as they followed the path to the village - the broken, uprooted trees pointed the way. They hurried, more to put the destruction behind them than to keep up with Ricky, who bounded ahead with a lightness that was at odds with his bulk, as fluidly as Connection combat. But no deActivation movement of Ricky's hand could sever him from the Connection, Cade realised. It was a part of him.

They spotted the flame bouncing along the track long before it reached Ricky. Cade heard a whoop and Ricky came to a halt as gracefully as a dancer. A familiar silhouette raced past him, her burning torch held aloft.

"Cade!" Nadina screamed. All the doubt and pain of their parting was dismissed by the joy in her eyes. She dropped the torch as she threw her arms around Cade.

"I thought you died!" she wailed into his shoulder. "I was going to drive away when it was dawn, but I saw those lights in the sky. I had to see if you were all right!"

"And Eriol?" she asked, turning to her.

"I'm fine. I thought I'd never see you again."

"So did you do what you wanted?"

Cade nodded. "The base is no more. Things have changed now. We're going to be all right – nothing can hurt us now!"

"So now I can stay with you after all?"

_Fickle_ _as_ _a_ _gust_ _of_ _wind,_ thought Cade. He was elated that the good had come back as fast as the bad had appeared. Nadina fastened onto him in a tight embrace and a passionate kiss, then turned to Eriol, confounded by her inability to touch her. Instead, she blew her a kiss with a smile.

They reached the edge of the forest at the village's plateau. The villagers were making up for months of hiding silently in the mountain and had unearthed their hidden stashes of wine. A bonfire roared and crackled in the centre of the village, defying the darkness with belches of sparks and glowing smoke. Cade scanned the plateau for the hulking silhouette of Ricky, but he had continued up the trail towards the truck. Cade Activated, then smiled as he understood the machine's plan.

Like starving dogs, gaunt families hung at the edge of the firelight, drawn down from the mountains by the firelight and voices yet unable to overcome their fear. As word spread that the Hedonans were gone, the ring of weary faces around the fire swelled.

The villagers cheered. Ricky had returned from where they had left the truck, carrying the cabin of the vehicle on his shoulder like a barman with a barrel. The machine dropped it with a crunch, raising a cloud of dust. Ricky turned to them. "You can travel as before, in the vehicle. I will carry it."

The villagers handed them dented tin plates, piled with roasted meat and vegetables. Cade picked at a slice of potato. He willed his jaws to chew it into a gritty paste which he rolled around in his mouth. He retched as it slid down his throat. He hadn't eaten a proper meal since sunrise, yet his appetite was still failing him. Maybe it was the aftershock of battle. He found the wine much more palatable.

Eriol stood by the fire, much further within the ring of logs and makeshift chairs than anybody else. Her fingers were outstretched, almost within the flames. Black veins twitched at her temples. _She_ _must_ _be_ _hungry,_ thought Cade. _But_ _she_ _doesn_ _'_ _t_ _want_ _to_ _feed_ _properly_ _in_ _front_ _of_ _all_ _these_ _people._

One of the villagers brought a fiddle to the circle and began a mournful tune. The notes swelled in the cold mountain air, then were swallowed by the vastness beyond the ledge of the plateau. Cade's thoughts dissolved in a blur of wine and fire-warmth, and the music conjured exotic half-formed dreams which tempted him towards sleep. Eventually, Nadina wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and led him towards one of the cottages. A mattress had been freshly stuffed with straw, and folded blankets lay warming beside a dying fire.

Nadina kissed him on the lips. "So, we're all right now?"

He nodded and smiled. "Things will be better from now on. I promise."

"I felt like I'd made the worst mistake of my life when I left. I wish I could be calm like you."

"Stay the way you are. I need to be more like you."

She gave him another kiss and left the hut for the fireside and more wine. He didn't wake when she crawled in beside him, but he was awakened before dawn by her caresses. They made love urgently, as if hammering back together the pieces of their shattered relationship, then slept until the noon sun made the hut uncomfortably hot.
Chapter 26

The sun had sunk behind the mountain by the time they were ready to continue their journey. They heated a pot of gruel and nuts over the coals of the extinct bonfire, but Cade only managed to gulp a few mouthfuls of the repugnant slime.

Cade paced impatiently beside Ricky. He longed to leave the valley, and memories of being beaten and almost killed, behind. The sooner they left, the sooner Ricky would be sowing mayhem in the ranks of the Hedonans who threatened the Monastery. He Connected, sifting amongst faint Connections for Lendora, but he failed to find the Monastery. He hoped that it was only the mountains interfering with the signal.

They climbed into the truck's cabin, now detached from its engine and wheels. With a lurch, Ricky lifted them high above the thatched roofs of the village. Nadina swore and Cade gripped the edge of the window, his head spinning. The cabin rolled to and fro as Ricky thudded through the village. Children ran beside him until they reached the end of the plateau.

Ricky adjusted rapidly to his load and soon they were moving smoothly along the pass.

Cone-laden pine branches slapped at the windows and screeched against the doors. The destroyed base was no obstacle – Ricky strode effortlessly up the slope, the anvil-like claws on his feet digging deeply into the debris.

"This beats walking!" Nadina said. "I wish Ricky had decided to get strong earlier!"

"Ricky is dead," Cade said, the truth hitting him for the first time as he spoke the words. "Those Hedonans killed him. His body is just a shell."

"How come he's still helping us then?"

Cade didn't know. In an act of automatic self-repair, the machine had replaced the missing parts of its brain by knotting it tightly into the Connection. Perhaps the machine had aligned itself with them because Cade himself was so closely bonded to the Connection.

"I don't know why he's still helping us," said Cade. "All I know is, we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him."

"He is hurt," said Eriol. "We need to care for him. We can't let him walk too far without rest."

"We need to care for you, too," said Nadina. "You always look so – lost."

"This world scares me," she said. "But as long as Ricky is here I have his strength to draw on."

Nadina hugged Eriol gingerly with one arm. "Ow, it tingles!" she said, jerking her arm away. "But I'm getting used to it."

Once, the edge of the path disappeared to their right, revealing a breathtaking sweep of crags below them. Nadina screamed and grabbed Cade's leg, but Ricky continued thundering along the path.

Despite Nadina's protests, Cade found the courage to lean out the window. The abyss spun beneath him. Jagged stone peaks thrust through wreaths of low clouds. Below was a mossy sea of treetops, inlaid with the shimmering thread of a river.

Ricky glided up steep slopes and thundered into gullies. The scenery changed, the land settling into gentle undulations. The regimented, gloomy trunks of the pine forests disappeared, replaced by a riot of different plants, their leaves glowing in the sunshine. The roadside was thick with sprays of pink and violet flowers. They settled into the monotonous rolling of Ricky's stride and Nadina's head lolled on Cade's shoulder.

By the time the shadows were lengthening, Cade wondered if Ricky was going to carry them all the way to the Monastery. For the first time, the struggle to stay alive no longer dominated his thoughts, which let a host of lesser worries surface. What sort of greeting could they expect from the Monastery, after he had brought down the armies of Hedona onto them? The best he could hope for was fury and punishment from the Masters, the worst, to find the butchered corpses of his old friends and mentors strewn through the ruins of the Monastery.

"Do you want to stop here?" Ricky called through the window as they approached a natural clearing beside the path.

"Are you getting tired?" Cade asked.

"My reactor is overheating." Ricky's even voice gave no indication how serious this was. "My energy exchange systems were damaged in the attack."

If Ricky malfunctioned, he could become the epicentre of a new Darklands. "How badly?"

"That is unclear. My power levels are erratic."

"Will you be able to reach the Monastery?"

"I would not attempt the journey if I could not complete it."

The machine lowered the vehicle's cabin as gently as a mother laying a baby in a cradle.

"Lie down," Eriol said to Ricky. "I'll try and draw off some of your energy."

Ricky lay on the ground, chest down. Eriol climbed on top of him and knelt, pressing her slender hands against his broad metal back. There was a coldness, a prickling in the air. Eriol shivered, her head jerking to one side. She slumped against Ricky's shell before sliding to the ground.

"I can't help, Ricky. There is too much power there. Be strong, I need you to live."

The machine rose to its feet.

"How long do you have?" Nadina asked the machine.

"Maybe a thousand years. Or several weeks."

Nadina flung her arms about the machine's leg and sobbed. Ricky remained motionless.

"All units have a finite lifespan. This unit will maximise its goals within the given time constraint. My purpose remains the same. The propagation of complex information. Total Connection."

Cade needed no more proof that Ricky was pulling in the Connection, using it as his eyes, his ears, his mind - a living embodiment of the Connection. With a consciousness that operated permanently outside of the confines of his body, Ricky was beyond the endless cycle of bornware, suffering, life and death – a perfect Master.

Ricky slumped motionless at the edge of the clearing and the others gathered firewood for the evening. Cade and Eriol crashed through the undergrowth, collecting armfuls of branches. Nadina cursed behind them.

"I can't see a thing!"

Cade looked around. The dying light of the day was strong, yet the stars were already fading into view. "You must be blind!"

"It's night! Are you using your head-tricks again?"

Cade stopped, hugging the bundle of branches to his chest. Memories of the previous night crowded back. When they had attacked the Hedonan compound, he and Eriol had moved easily through thick forest on a moonless night. He remembered the silver outlines of the trees, the mountains looming clearly above him, when he should have been groping through almost total darkness. _Is this what radiation poisoning does_? he wondered. He could only guess at the damage which the Plains had caused to his brain-pin.

When they returned to the camp-site, Ricky was lolling on the ground like a huge discarded toy.

"Ricky!" Nadina said, rushing to his side. "What's wrong?"

"My reactor is stable, but I need to limit my activity."

Nadina looked at Cade. "Can you help him?"

He shook his head. "I wasn't allowed to play with the relics in the Monastery - that's for the senior Masters. We'll need to take him there to be fixed. Quickly."

Nadina stroked Ricky's knee, unsure how to offer solace to the giant.

Soon a fire was roaring and red sparks looped and soared into the pine branches above. With a stroke of inspiration, Cade and Nadina unfastened the seat from the floor of the vehicle's cabin and dragged it beside the fire. Nadina flopped gratefully onto it. Meanwhile, Cade set a pot of water on the fire to boil and sliced some of the vegetables they had taken from the village. Eriol retired to the shadows beside Ricky.

Cade sat beside Nadina, his legs towards the fire. There was a pop as Nadina uncorked a flask and held it to his lips. Fumes clawed at his nostrils as he took a stinging gulp of the liquid.

"From the village," she said. "I've got plenty more to get us through the journey."

He gazed into the fire. The flames were always shifting, as if indecisively searching for an ideal state of being. His eyes watered in the heat and the fire blurred. A delicate rainbow twined about the edges of the flames, shimmering through the film of tears in his eyes. He blinked and ground his knuckles into his eyes to clear them. The rainbow haze remained. He wondered if he should tell Nadina to throw out the rest of the flask of spirits.

The world spun away from him for a moment, then he was walking the familiar path beside the stream by the Monastery. A heartbeat later and he was staring at the cracked paint on the walls of the Hedonan safe-house. Then he was in the Darklands, the black plains stretching forever below a sky dusted with stars.

He clutched at Nadina's arm, as if holding her would prevent him from dropping out of the world. "What's happening to me? I don't feel like I'm really here."

She stroked the healing bullet wound at his waist. "It's not your stomach, is it?"

"No, I'm not sick. Not in the body. You know that feeling when you wake up, and for a while you don't know who or where you are? When you don't recognise the person sleeping next to you?"

She smiled. "I do get that occasionally - that was how I met you!"

He laughed, despite the dizziness. "I mean, do you ever get a sense that your memories belong to someone you don't know? That you don't seem to fit into your body?"

She considered his question for a moment. "You must be tired. Get some sleep."

"Well, that feeling has taken over my whole life." Cade emptied his anxieties. "What am I supposed to be? A failed priest with a piece of metal in my head? Should I throw it all away and get sucked into Hedona? Or do I just keep playing whatever role fate throws at me? Sometimes I think it doesn't matter what I do - things always change. Everything that happened before gets lost!"

"Just be Cade," she whispered as she put her arms around him, hot from the fire. "That's good enough for me. Look at me. Forget Connection and what it's doing to you. I used to lie in bed in Hedona, hating the thought of getting older, of all the memories of cruel men that kept piling up the longer I lived. It doesn't make sense when you stop and think about it. Flow with the changes, you might change into something better!"

Nadina was watching Eriol from the corner of her eye, hunched over Ricky. Nadina noticed that Cade was watching her. Her gaze jumped guiltily to an empty patch of forest.

"You like her!" Cade said.

Nadina's pause betrayed her.

"Best you don't think about it," Cade said. "She'll hurt you if you touch her, you know that."

"I know. She is so deep, so icy. But so... beautiful! I want to find out what is at the bottom!"

"You just want what you can't have."

"Are you jealous?" she narrowed her eyes. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it!"

He glanced at Eriol, her ice-clear hair spilling over her face as she knelt by the machine, her fingers splayed against the metal. It was an accidentally seductive pose. Her body lacked Nadina's curves, but she had a willowy grace of her own. He knew Nadina was teasing, but he saw a flash of intent in her eyes that he knew too well - she delighted in sharing pleasure with others in her own special way. It would be safer to deal with everything in the open.

"Jealous? Not really," he replied. "I don't think she has any interest in taking lovers. Just don't scare her too much - she trusts you."

"I'll take that as the all-clear, then!" she said. "I'll let you watch!"

"That's enough!" he snapped. "You're still trying to get into everyone's pants - or dress! Who's next? Ricky?"

"Why not?" She laughed. "What else is there to do here when I've tired you out?"

"Well, you could take the soup off the fire," he said nodding towards the furiously bubbling pot. She unfolded from the seat and poured the soup into two bowls. She moved with the energy of a tight spring and he was excited by the certainty that a redrawing, or erasing of the boundaries between them was inevitable. One part of him, a dry priestly voice that he could not silence, told him that Eriol, removed from the Darklands, was a landed fish gasping in air. She was starved of radiation, dying. They should keep their emotional distance - it would be better not to relive the loss of Malcott.

Nadina flounced down beside him and blew on her soup furiously. Cade savoured the warmth of his bowl and gazed at the slowly circulating chunks of vegetable, trying to arouse his hunger. When it had cooled he sipped the broth and forced himself to swallow. He managed half of the bowl before he set it aside.

Nadina noticed his bowl. "What's wrong with you? You haven't eaten properly for days!"

"I just don't like the idea of food at the moment."

"Am I the only normal one here?" Nadina said as she took his bowl. "Well, more for me."

The bowl fell from Nadina's fingers and clattered on the dirt. "What's the matter with Ricky?"

Ricky's motors whined as his head snapped around. He leapt upright, swivelling at the hip-joint to face into the forest. The omni-cannon roared, stripping leaves from branches and cracking tree-trunks. Ricky crashed through bushes and hosed the forest with glowing streams from the omnicannon. Eriol staggered backwards, gasping. Cade reacted almost as quickly as Ricky, upsetting a full bowl of water into the fire. There was darkness and the hissing fire smothered them in clouds of steam. He fumbled for Nadina's hand. Eriol had already turned black, invisible in the darkness.

They stumbled into the gloom and Cade squatted behind a tree, aware of Nadina's anxious breathing beside him. Ricky was already far away – the omnicannon barked in the distance. Whatever was chasing them could moved quickly. Cade peered around a tree towards their deserted camp-site. He could make out the forest floor, cluttered with bushes and thick trunks, lit by the starlight that shone in patches through the foliage above them. The forest seemed to hold its breath expectantly. An involuntary shiver ran through him and he realised Eriol was crouched next to him.

"What was that?" she whispered.

"I think it's gone," replied Cade in a low voice, stretching out of his crouch. "Ricky would know if there were more nearby."

Eriol faded out of the darkness beside him, her pale oval face framed by glassy hair. "If I lose Ricky," she said uncertainly, "I'll starve. Can he get hurt?"

They heard the crashing of bushes and the familiar whine of Ricky's motors grew louder. The machine emerged from the gloom, a solid mass of darkness, his shoulders grazing the lowest branches of the pine trees. He approached the fire and his head swivelled to face them. He activated his head lamps and white light scalded Cade's eyeballs.

"Something was watching us," Ricky said.

There was a thud as Ricky tossed something into the pool of light. It was a head and part of a shoulder. The skin was a flinty grey, discoloured and bruised by its violent detachment. Cade couldn't tell whether it had been prised from its body by one of Ricky's great pincers, or torn off by shards from the omnicannon.

"I have no data on this. It is not part of the Connection," Ricky said. He stood at the edge of the clearing with military stiffness, his head turning slowly as he scanned the forest.

The head was completely bald, and two bulging black eyes interrupted the smooth dome of its skull.

"Why did it take so long to kill?" Cade asked.

"Its skin absorbs the full spectrum of radiation - it was difficult to acquire a target lock."

Cade motioned for Eriol to move a safe distance from him and Activated. He cleared his mind and stared at the bloodied hunk, willing a Memory to surface. One bulbous black eye gazed at him, glittering in the lamplight. Nothing. He de-Activated. He didn't trust the Memory any more - it seemed to have been completely scrambled by the new, cold influence that flowed through him.

Nadina gripped his hand. "Oh, Cade, that's disgusting! Get rid of it!"

Cade took a handful of leaves and picked up the head. Its surprising heaviness and lingering warmth almost made him bring up what little soup he had forced down. As he prepared to heft the head deep into the undergrowth, he noticed an indentation in the otherwise smooth skull, at the base of the neck. The familiar mark which Cade shared with many of those he loved. Although repulsed by the rubbery dead skin, he knew what he had to do. He had a knife sharp enough for the autopsy, but it would have to resume its role as their cooking knife next breakfast. It was a doubly disgusting object, combining the horror of a human corpse with the carcass of a strange and poisonous reptile.

The skin moved. It dented up and split, and a metal rod as thick as a grass stalk oozed out of the middle of the circular scar, twisting and squirming like an emerging parasite. It was fatter and more vigorous than the slender needle Cade had pressed into the base of his own skull. He retched and dropped the head. Ricky's motors whined and his omnicannon blasted the head into the forest before it touched the ground. Cade's skin tingled with revulsion.

"What's wrong? Did it hurt you?" Eriol asked.

Cade wiped his hands on his trousers. "It had a brain-pin!"

Nadina glanced towards the darkness. "I've heard of that thing. It was the only time I met one of my assassin employers, when I started working for them. He said their enemy was more than the soldiers they interrogated and killed – they were fighting something inhuman. Something that was impossible to kill with fire or bullets. I always thought he was talking in symbols."

"Was that all he said?" asked Cade.

"It was a passing comment – I didn't ask him more."

"Well, he was wrong in one respect. I think our late friend proves that they are not impossible to kill."

"Ricky didn't give it a chance! Why was he so angry?"

"Ricky doesn't get angry. I've been inside his head. There's nothing but numbers in there."

"There's nothing but meat inside your head. Does that mean you don't have feelings?"

"Ricky doesn't feel anything now, or think anything. That's where his real power comes from, not from his cannons and armour.."

Nadina shook her head. "I don't believe you. He could have left us in the Hedonan outpost to be blown to bits, but he saved us. He must like us!"

He was glad Nadina had finally started trusting the machine. He had to admit that Ricky's new Connection-mind suited him better - there had been something perverse about a juvenile war machine. "I'd like to think there is a bit of the old Ricky in there, somewhere."

"Don't worry," Ricky said, sensing their unease. "Mother is watching."

"Mother?" Nadina exclaimed. "I thought you'd grown out of that."

"There's another one there. I can see them talking!" Eriol whispered, gesturing at the sky.

"A military satellite," Cade said. "There are things floating up there, left over from the Nuclear War. And Ricky made friends with one of them."

"Is that what destroyed the base for us?" Nadina asked. "Good friends to have - nothing can stop us now!"

Cade could think of a horde of things that could stop them, but he kept silent. They had been discovered. The moment Ricky failed, their enemies would swarm all over them. They needed to deal with the threat to the Monastery, and themselves, urgently.

They gathered the firewood that hadn't been dampened and coaxed the fire back to life. They talked only of practical things for the rest of the night: rebuilding the sodden fire, planning their next meals, how much water they needed to carry, and how to make their bed more comfortable. Eventually the fatigue of the day's journey dragged them to the edge of sleep and they fell silent. Eriol rested against Ricky's foot as he stood watch. Cade and Nadina slept under the stars curled on the seat, their coats keeping them warm as the fire slowly died. She sought his embrace only for reassurance: exhaustion and the attack had finally defeated her ardour.

Cade dreamed that a Connection needled his mind. "Cade!" it said. "Your machine is on the point of failing - and when that happens it will be time to haul you in. You have drifted too far from Connection. Yet, I forgive you, even as you try to stop me. The greatest ability is that of forgiveness."

They awoke to a sky roiling with grey clouds and the promise of rain. They ate fruit from the village without bothering about the fire - they were eager to leave the night's grisly events behind them.

Ricky's relentless pace chewed up the day and every thundering step meant slightly less time that the Monastery would be under threat. Nadina had positioned herself on the seat between Cade and Eriol and snoozed on Cade's shoulder. As afternoon shadows crawled to the tops of the pine trees, the rhythmic whine of Ricky's joints was overlaid by the muted hiss of falling water.

"Ricky, head towards that sound!" Cade commanded.

They arrived at the base of a waterfall. An entire river hurled itself from the cliff above, before annihilating itself thunderously on the rocks below. They set up camp where the sound of water would mask their noise, but far from the chilly haze of the falls. They lit a fire as darkness gathered.

The roar of the waterfall washed away Cade's anxieties; a reminder that although their enemies were powerful, they were nothing compared to the forces of nature that flowed all around them. Nadina was sitting between Cade and Eriol, her hip crushed against Cade's, tensing to avoid the deathly touch of the other woman.

"I wish this was all over," she said. "But I'm glad we are all here. I feel more alive, you know?"

Cade nodded. "When this is all over, when we stop running, we're going to do amazing things. But first we're going to settle down, relax, and not kill people."

Eriol looked at them, a smile crossing her face like the moon appearing behind clouds, yet said nothing.

"You're with us?" Nadina said to her. "Or are you going back to the Darklands?"

Eriol looked away. "I go where Ricky goes." As if the thought had given her an excuse to avoid the conversation, she started lifting herself out of the vehicle's seat. "I need to go to Ricky now," she said, her eyelids heavy, feigning tiredness.

"No!" Nadina protested. "The waterfall means we don't have to whisper. You're not leaving early!"

Eriol's settled deeper into the couch. There was something warm and animal in the movement, a desire for comfort that seemed out of place in a sleepless creature that preferred the cold metal of Ricky to their circle of firelight and companionship. Nadina uncorked her flask, took a swig and handed it to Eriol. "This'll wake you up!"

Eriol hesitated, then passed it back. "I can't drink. Really, I can't do it."

Nadina took another swig and handed the flask to Cade without glancing his way. "What do you do for fun, then, if you can't drink?"

"Music. But I don't have my harp here. And I can carve stone."

"And your friends in the Darklands? Can you touch each other?"

"No." She hesitated. "We can, but it is not allowed."

"Can I touch you?"

Eriol was silent, shaking her head. Nadina broke away from Cade and slid her arm around the slender neck of the other woman. "See? These Hedonan jackets are pretty thick. I'm not dying yet."

Cade felt as if he had become invisible, as if he had a walk-on part in a drama that had no place for him. The waterfall roared in a silence that lengthened and lengthened, then snapped as Nadina shifted brusquely towards Cade. "Well, that was uncomfortable!" she said. "Cade is much more fun."

Eriol stirred and lifted herself from the seat. "I need to charge myself." Nadina jumped up with her.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!"

Eriol turned towards Ricky. "I'm not like you and Cade."

Nadina grabbed her around the waist. "You are, girl! We've fought all this way through the plains and mountains!" She hauled Eriol onto to the couch and Cade heard a new sound. Eriol was laughing, sprawled across Nadina's lap, engulfed in the loose Hedonan jacket. Cade flicked a lock of her ice-clear hair from his arm and his fingers tingled.

"You are so rude!" Eriol stuttered. "You're not allowed!"

Nadina nuzzled her chest. The sombre mask disappeared from Eriol's face, revealing a woman, both human and divine, confused and longing. A dull heat uncoiled in the pit of Cade's stomach as his lover mauled his beautiful yet untouchable companion. Eriol's eyes locked with his. "I want what you have!" she whispered, then her eyes swung skywards with a sigh of pleasure. They began a hungry, anxious re-shifting of the emotional load which they bore together. Nadina ripped open the army jacket and tore apart the thin material of Eriol's dress, revealing her white breasts, tracked over by black fine veins. Cade launched himself into the tangle, hauling the warm familiar roundness of Nadina to himself. He gasped at the icy touch of Eriol, as if they had tumbled together into an icy lake. He sunk into the cold depths, struggling for breath, feeling the cold creep into his heart.

Ricky's cold pincer clamped about his waist, then lifted and tossed him aside. The bare earth around the fire filled his vision. He tried to rise, yet one side of his body refused to obey. He rolled over and saw Ricky lifting the slack body of Nadina from the seat. Eriol gave a cry as she was released from Nadina's dead weight. She fled to the darkness of the forest, her torn dress flapping. Ricky shook Nadina gently, then dumped her next to Cade.

"Danger," he said in his level voice.

Cade's passion had fled as quickly as it had risen, leaving him with the cold reality of the events. Eriol forgotten, he cradled Nadina's slack body, begging her to wake up. She groaned and opened her eyes a crack, then sobbed deeply. Cade knew why – he felt the same. They had collapsed the fragile three-way bridge they had built between each other. His deadened arm began to tingle and he hugged Nadina's inert form. She stirred and shoved him away – she was more paralysed by shock and misery than by the stripping of life from her nerves.

"Ricky!" Eriol called from the forest. Ricky trudged to the edge of the clearing in obedient response. "Take me home!" she said. "Now!"

Cade struggled to his feet. "Eriol!"

"Don't touch me!" she said, shrinking from him and taking cover behind Ricky's leg. "I'm going home. I don't belong with you."

"It's just Nadina, when she doesn't know how to put something in words, she can be very – physical."

"Take me home," she repeated to Ricky.

The machine, as if maintaining a shred of its emotional understanding, remained silent.

Eriol shrieked and beat her fists on the giant's metal leg, collapsing against it, sobbing. Cade made sure that his army jacket covered his skin. She struggled against his embrace, but he pulled her tighter, wondering whether he was pulling her closer, or pushing her out of reach. She went slack in defeat, crying icy tears which wet the shoulder of his jacket.

"You can kill me," said Cade. "Kill the woman I love, but I'm not going to let you go."

"I'm sorry!" she moaned into his sleeve. "I just want to be like you!"

"You are," Cade said, stroking her hair with his bunched-up sleeve. "I wish I could take back what happened. I shouldn't have encouraged you."

Nadina hobbled towards them. She had the same guilty expression as the thieving Monastery cat after a thrashing. "That was amazing!" she said, collapsing on Cade's shoulder and leaning the other arm against Ricky. "Better than being drunk!"

Eriol smiled and some of the numbness warmed from Cade's chest. "Please don't try again – I've hurt enough people recently."

Chapter 26

The birds' morning din woke Cade. Through his sleep-clogged eyelids, the silhouette of tree branches against the blue sky were like the veined wings of a butterfly. It reminded him of the Monastery, of the deep forests where he had trained. They were getting close to home.

Nadina nestled warmly between him and the back of the seat. The reassuring bulk of Ricky stood exactly where he had been the previous night.

The machine glowed, shimmering like a white-hot sword in a forge. Cade rubbed his eyes and twisted half-upright. Had he Connected in his sleep? He reached reflexively for his neck and the full force of Connection hit him. He staggered to his feet, clasping his head. He threw out his Connection and it wavered and split into fragments. He reached for Ricky, but the strands flailed uselessly and could not make contact.

Ricky's body was painfully bright - a Ricky-shaped furnace door opening onto an inferno, with light streaming from him like the sun. Eriol was a small black shadow eclipsing him. Cade turned away before he was blinded. The forest was filled with moving streaks, like rainbow fish shimmering in a river of light. He drew it into himself until he was gorged and sluggish.

He looked at his hands, yet saw only a dark silhouette where his body had been. He moved his hands and trails of darkness eddied in their wake. Another pair of dark hands gently grasped his, and his own empty outline merged with that of another.

"Eriol?" he whispered.

She responded with a gentle squeeze. He flinched from the deadening poison of her touch, but her hands felt warm and natural. "What has happened to you, Cade?"

He brushed her shoulder, then embraced her. He felt her heart beating against his chest.

He held her slender body as if he was cupping a small bird in his hand. "Why am I like you?"

"You've changed. I knew you were special, different, the first time I saw you."

Ricky hammered him with a Connection which pulsed like a beacon: a hybrid of thought and light. Cade could not grasp at the shades of meaning in Ricky's Connection; he could only feel its texture and substance.

For a moment he felt the struggle of several incompatible states of mind, then they collapsed into a new awareness, as if a strange picture had suddenly resolved itself into something understandable. Eriol's world merged with his own sense of Connection. He felt the cold flow of power, the lifeless balance-sheet of energy exchange, the world consuming itself and feeding on the energy of others. It would have been overwhelming, maddening, without the unshakable knowledge that at the centre of it all, there was him, Cade: the self-awareness and confidence of a Hedonan like Nadina.

He was a hybrid of Malcott, Nadina, and Eriol. Before Connection, he had been nothing but a dry sponge. Then, he had absorbed the Connection ability of the Masters, using Connection combat against Nathan before he had even gained his brain-pin. Hedona and the Darklands had added their influence in turn. His core ability was greater than Connection – it was the ability to absorb the bornware of others close to him.

Before he knew why, despair pulled heavily at his heart, then thought followed emotion. He had never been a real Master and the Monastery would never accept his crippled Connection ability. There was no Hedona for him, as there was for Nadina. He could not retreat to the Darklands to revive his spirit, as Eriol eventually would.

Separately, the lives of a Master, Hedonan, or Darklander, were rivers that ran straight and true through the confusion of the world. When the rivers ran together in a chaotic junction, they created nothing but whirlpools and rapids. A creature of all three worlds, he belonged in none.

He was alone, the only one of his kind. Just like Eriol. He became aware of her pressed against him still. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to brush her lips with his own. They were softer than Nadina's, and the touch started his pulse thudding. He glanced at Nadina sleeping on the couch. As if she sensed the betrayal, she sleepily opened her eyes. Cade pulled away from Eriol and Disconnected. He knew that Nadina's unfocused lust for both of them would overpower any jealousy she felt. However, he had succeeded where she had failed, and that was a matter of pride.

After a silent breakfast of soup, they kicked dirt over the fire and Ricky hoisted the truck's cabin onto his shoulder. They resumed their journey through the luminous canopy of green.

Nadina shrieked as a small deer bolted across the path in front of them, zigzagging along the road in a blind panic. She screamed excitedly. "Get it Ricky! Fresh meat!" The machine rose its free arm and the air was torn apart by the omnicannon. The blast pummelled the creature into into a mess of flailing limbs and bloodied flesh. Ricky bowed to scoop up the carcass without breaking his stride or upsetting the cabin. Cade glared at Nadina. She shrugged. "I'm sick of vegetables!" Cade knew this was a small revenge for his kiss with Eriol.

They realised the Monastery was close when they found the remains of their rescue party, the brown-robed forms scattered like logs beside the path. He recognised several of the older Novices. The two Masters had been singled out for special attention; they lay face-down, side-by-side. The brain-pins had left them, leaving bloodless red holes at the base of their necks. The pins were nowhere to be found.

The Masters were both men. Cade felt a guilty pang of relief that Lendora was not one of them. Cade rolled them over gently. Lance, and an older student who must have become a Master in his absence. Their heads lolled freely, their necks slit from behind. An execution.

Eriol picked her way between the bodies, bending down to examine their wounds, before kneeling beside a young Novice. "Cade," she said. "This one is still alive!"

Cade ran to her side. The youth was dead, his fingernails bent from scrabbling at the earth, as if his last wish had been to dig his way faster into the peace of the grave.

"He's past it Eriol – we're too late."

"No. He still glows. Faintly."

Cade stooped closer, but there was no doubt. The youth's eyes were unblinking, the pupils slightly oval when he pressed them gently.

"We're too late. Let's get out of here before the rest of the Monastery ends up the same way."

Nadina grasped his hand – an act of reassurance and fear. "These are your friends, Cade?"

He nodded. "Whoever did this – we're going to do the same to them."

Eriol placed her hands above the corpse's chest. The clawed fingers twitched and extended backwards. The corpse jerked its hands up, flailing against an unseen enemy. Nadina knelt over him, making comforting noises, as if to a small child.

"You!" he gasped. "Why are you with them? And your head?" He stared over Nadina's shoulder at long-gone foes.

Nadina shooshed him. "They're gone," she whispered, stroking his hair. "Who did this to you?"

The man whimpered. "Traitor!" he screamed. "They'll get you! Traitor!"

His body convulsed, screams rasping in his cold throat. Eriol lowered her hands and slumped sideways, panting. The man became still, his lips frozen in the contortions of a fit. Cade shivered at the memory of how Eriol's hands had touched his – hands unclean with unnatural death. He reached behind his head to Connect and check for danger, yet his arm felt impossibly heavy. He couldn't do it – he needed to withdraw from the world, pull his thoughts and feelings inside his head, safe from a thousand horrors.

"Ricky," Cade asked. "Whoever did this – are they still around?"

The machine looked upwards and froze for a second, his giant beetle head silhouetted against the sky. "Mother says there is a large military base hidden in the next valley."

"Can you take it?"

"Yes, but Mother says there is a primary force mobilising to attack our destination."

"Ignore the base for now - can we stop the attack party in time?"

"It is possible," he said. "This unit can overload, but this unit's reactor may fail catastrophically."

"Catastrophically?"

"Total meltdown, followed by coolant explosion. Complete destruction of unit and surrounding environment."

"Ricky," Cade said. "I promise we won't let that happen – Eriol can drain off your overload. And – I think I can too."

The machine froze for a moment. In the fraction of a heartbeat it made its decision. "Climb in," said Ricky, stooping to grasp the cabin.

Ricky's feet hammered the ground in a blur. Tree branches cracked against the cabin, exploding in puffs of green leaves. Cade's limbs were numb from the constant rattling. Through the trees, Cade spotted a familiar ridge and knew where they were. They were going to emerge below Safekeep, on the road to Hedona.

The air cracked around them and a loud bang shook the cabin as a bullet ricocheted amongst the innards of the truck. The cabin tilted as Ricky adjusted his one-handed grip. Without breaking his stride, the omnicannon roared, dousing the slope ahead of them. The bullets ceased. _That_ _was_ _a_ _scouting_ _party_ _watching_ _the_ _valley,_ thought Cade. _The_ _rest_ _of_ _them_ _must_ _be_ _close._

Ricky bounded between boulders and along ridges, the occupants of the cabin tossed about inside like rocks in a tin. Small trees snapped against Ricky's pumping legs. The space between the peaks yawned open, revealing a panorama of fields and rock fences. Safekeep was higher up the valley. There was a mass of troops on the move in the fields below, followed by a convoy of grey supply vehicles. Ricky half-slid, half leapt down the side of the valley in a gut-lurching descent. He paused in the middle of the valley and lowered the cabin. Nadina groaned. Cade felt the riotous motion continue in his head and he fell out of the cabin onto the grass, holding on to clumps of grass as he vomited.

Ricky slumped slowly, propped up on his arms, then sank to the ground, inert. With a loud bang and a ferocious hissing, white smoke began jetting from the joints of his shoulders and neck. Cade wiped his mouth with a handful of grass and stood up unsteadily.

"Ricky! Are you all right?"

The machine whirred and his mangled voice failed to form words. The Hedonans were nearing Safekeep and it would be minutes before the town was awash with troops. The pretty white houses would be burnt to the ground; men, women and children would be gunned down for sport in the streets. He would rather die at the centre of Ricky's catastrophic failure than see that happen.

Eriol was still in the cabin, shivering slightly, her frail body abused by the rough journey.

"Eriol!" he called. "Ricky's sick. Can you help him?"

"He's dumping light. More than I've seen. Look closer."

He could see a wavering around Ricky, a glint of rainbow in the air, as if a fine cascade of drops were radiating from the machine. Eriol was right - his perception of the Drain was strongest when he concentrated on it. He Connected and was buffeted by the streams of light gushing from Ricky, as if a piece of the sun had fallen to earth. Eriol joined him, her body a roiling black storm-cloud, her features indistinct.

"Do this!" she yelled.

The streams of light spiralled around her like a whirlpool in a raging river. She staggered and almost fell. Cade looked at his hands, wavering and black-beyond- black, like holes cut in the world. He drew the light into himself, feeling it pool deep inside him, filling up every recess of his body. He felt heavy, dizzy, pinned down by the relentless flood of energy. He felt a horrible pressure behind his eyes, as if an air hose had been rammed into his brain. He reflexively cut the Connection.

A snowstorm of sparks whirled in his vision, blotting out the collapsed form of Eriol. He felt himself bumping along the ground as Nadina dragged him backwards.

"Get her away!" he yelled. "It'll kill her!"

"I can't!" Nadina wailed. "I can't touch her! I'm taking you first!"

Cade shook himself out of her grasp and collapsed on the grass. "'I'm fine. But she can't cut herself off!" He tried to rise to his feet, but his body was not connected to his mind. Nadina dived at Eriol, sweeping her up in a low tackle and carrying her bodily for a dozen paces before collapsing. Eriol rolled free, as inert as Cade.

Ricky shuddered half-upright and took an uncertain step forward. Then another. Swinging his massive head about drunkenly, he spotted the nearby stream in the bed of the valley. He lumbered towards it, as if fighting against a gale. Finally he reached it. He collapsed, sending a plume of spray glittering into the sky, then billowing clouds of steam.

Cade groaned and turned his head. Blades of grass shimmered silver, large in his vision, and the sky burnt white. Nadina crawled towards him lopsidedly, one leg dragging uselessly.

"Leave him!" screamed Eriol. "He can't control it!"

"What happened?" Nadina asked, her face contorted with pain. "Are you all right?"

"I did what Eriol can do – we just saved Ricky's life." He spasmed as if a barbed-wire cord was being dragged inside his spine. "Eriol! How do I stop it!"

"Do something!" Nadina screamed.

Eriol staggered over to his side, then collapsed. "I can't do anything!" she panted. "He has taken too much."

They looked towards Ricky as he sprung up in a fluid movement and thundered towards them, with whirling smoke trailing behind him.

"Ready," he said.

"Cade's hurt!" Nadina said. "We'll have to stay."

"I cannot allow it," the machine replied. "Multiple hostiles are in range, and I need Cade's eyes for artillery triangulation."

The machine scooped Cade in its pincer and gently placed him inside the truck's cabin. "I will take you somewhere safe while I destroy the Hedonans."

"Can't you just bomb them from space?"

Ricky faltered. "I cannot deploy Damocles here. The security code may be compromised. There are several brain-pin units active nearby."

_At_ _least_ _there_ _are_ _still_ _Masters_ _alive,_ thought Cade. _We_ _might_ _not_ _be_ _too_ _late._

The machine continued. "However, I have synthesised conventional explosives since my awakening."

"More rockets?" asked Nadina.

The machine shook its head. "My active armour will contain and direct the explosion. It will vapourise and disperse my reactor products safely. I am also building something else - it will be ready before self-destruction."

Eriol and Nadina clambered into the cabin. Ricky heaved it onto his shoulder and bounded up the side of the valley, sending small avalanches clattering behind them.

The soldiers higher in the valley had seen Ricky and were swinging around to confront him, yet they were so far away that they looked like agitated ants before a thunderstorm.

The machine settled the cabin on an outcrop overlooking the valley and paused at the edge. Ricky turned his head back to the cabin. The slit where the two boyish eyes had once looked out was a featureless dark window. The emptiness of the eye-slot touched the emptiness within Cade's heart. They were alone: Cade, Ricky, Nadina, and Eriol. Eternally separated by their differences, they would all die alone.

Nadina flung herself at the foot of the machine, sobbing. Gently, Ricky prised her off with his pincer, then, cradling her briefly before his face, set her down. He leapt off the ledge and the mountain trembled as he bounded towards the Hedonan army.

They had a full view of the floor of the valley. The Hedonans had turned to face Ricky, but their supply vehicles were unable to retreat, hindered by their own troops flowing around them.

Long streaks of white clouds criss-crossed the fields, converging on Ricky. Rockets. They had been expecting him. The machine did not slow, and pushed through the barrage as if it was a jet of water from a hose. The omnicannon lashed out in a blue arc, dancing over the troops and pushing them backwards. Ricky was among them now, his torso turning from left to right. The valley echoed with the continuous roar of the omnicannon.

Cade's body convulsed once more and he ground his teeth until the pain of his jaw exceeded that in his spine. "Eriol!" he groaned. "Make it stop!"

"I can't," she replied. "It will get better by itself. Maybe."

Ricky crunched both claws into the chassis of a truck and hurled it, sending it bouncing and skidding through a group of soldiers. The lines of troops had shattered into their smaller platoons and were retreating and pausing, before sending more rockets hissing and booming into Ricky.

Absorbed in the battle, Cade was chilled by a clatter of rocks behind them. He should have been watching their backs.

"Move again and I'll pepper you all!" a voice yelled from above. "Your machine is too busy to help you!"

Cade froze, his hand midway to his neck. "Don't go for your gun yet!" he whispered to Nadina.

There was a grunt as the Hedonan dropped down in front of the cabin. He landed lightly; his body was battle-hardened, his lean face shadowed by a wide-brimmed hat. The Hedonan rifle swung casually from its shoulder-strap, yet its arc was deliberately threatening.

"This is how it is," said the Hedonan. "You started this machine, you stop it. And I'm going to start killing you one by one until it stops. Then once we do what we came here to do, you can do what you want."

"What have you come here to do?" Cade spoke, his voice firm despite the quavering in his guts. "Kill all the friends I ever had? Everyone in Safekeep?"

The man spat on the ground. "Look, I don't care about your friends, or why we're fighting. Do you think I want to be up here in these rotten mountains? Or my two brothers down there, who might already be ripped to pieces by that sick machine?"

"Turn around and leave," said Cade. "This is a bad fight. Tell your brothers to leave - you are only bringing pain to the world."

"That's easy for you to say. I've got children and a wife back in Hedona and I'm not going to bring pain to their world. You know what they do to the families of deserters?"

Cade tasted bile in his mouth. Another spasm wracked his body as waves of Ricky's energy knotted his insides and he folded up in agony.

"Keep still!" the man yelled. "You want me to kill you all?" He reached through the open door and grabbed the collar of Cade's jacket, wrenching him out onto the ground. Rocks bit at Cade's cheek and he could smell the sweaty leather of the man's boots. He felt warm metal press against the side of his head.

"One last chance!" he said. "Call off that damn murdering machine!"

Cade gripped the man's ankle and felt within himself for the deadness that Eriol had lodged within him. The energy that he had Drained from Ricky awakened like a sleeping creature and began searching for an outlet. It found one. Cade's fingers blew apart, pouring energy into the soldier. The man screamed and the gun jerked away from Cade's ear before spraying the mountains with its entire magazine. The man tumbled down the cliff like a doll, before wedging between two rocks on the edge of a drop. He jerked several times, as if on a string, then lay still.

Ricky's omnicannon was running down – the threads of blue fire were thinner and more erratic. Instead, he barrelled amongst the troops like a furious metal bull, scattering them and hurling vehicles. Bodies lay in the fields like khaki rocks, some crushed into the mud by the reckless fall of Ricky's feet. The troops were scattered and fleeing in every direction like a burst bag of marbles. Cade watched the battle with a growing sense of disgust. He felt, sick, battered, and dirtied with too much blood – his own and others.

A swollen red fireball erupted in the centre of the battle, engulfing Ricky and most of the troops. Not the clean white strike of Mother, but a dirty, jagged conflagration of red flame and billowing black clouds. A rumble of thunder echoed around the valley and a rain of debris tinkled down, trailing smoke and planting the battlefield with a forest of smoke pillars. A dirty black smear the size of a paddock marked the place of Ricky's last moments.

They picked their way down the slope and walked amongst the small fires which flickered here and there in the smoke, stunned into a mournful silence. Trying to ignore the piles of bodies that lay everywhere, Cade tried to fit the memory of Ricky's body to every piece of debris he saw - a familiar-looking fragment of metal, a blackened shard of glass - yet he recognised nothing. The twisted metal of armour and guns lay everywhere, which cracked and pinged as they cooled. The needle of the radiation detector crept upwards as they approached the centre of the blast. Ricky had gone completely – without leaving a single piece of himself, some deathly remnant to make the loss real.

Eriol dug in the rubble and pulled out something shiny. A smile shone in her smudged face, her teeth as white as the object she held cupped in her hands.

"Look!" she said. "Ricky made something for me!"

The object was the size of a plum – a beautiful pearl, untouched by the destruction around it. It had an oily rainbow film which shifted constantly.

"I knew Ricky wouldn't leave me to die without him."

"It's bright, isn't it? With radiation?" Cade said. "You need to keep that away from us."

She nodded. "I think I know what to do." She brought it to her mouth and swallowed the sphere. She gagged, then squirmed and took a deep breath.

"Ricky knew a way to save my life. He is a part of me, now."

No life without death. Cade thought. What an end for the god of Connection.
Chapter 27

Cade found no happiness in the familiar sight of the Monastery gates – they no longer meant home and security, but merely the promise of further misfortunes within. Ever since he had left those gates, every stranger was poised to attack, the mouth of every dog in the street hid a snarl, and every knife had a murderous glint.

Eriol swayed slightly. Nadina gripped her own forearm with the other hand, her nails digging into her skin.

"Don't worry," he said. "This is my family. They'll help us."

"The only help I need right now," Nadina said, "is a bottle of spirits and a soft bed."

"The beds are better than the truck seat, at least," Cade replied. "But they don't drink at all here."

"I'm going back to Hedona, then."

The peep-hole in the door snapped open and a pair of eyes appeared in the slit. _Just_ _like_ _Ricky,_ thought Cade, before he was remembered there was no Ricky. Just as there was no Malcott, no Lance, and maybe no Lendora. Nobody left from an older, more carefree life.

"Master Cade," he said. "Returning from duties in Hedona."

The slit snapped shut. Wood scraped as the heavy crossbeam was lifted.

'You'll have to push it open yourself," the voice yelled. They heard retreating footsteps as the guard ran for the Masters.

They set their shoulders to the door and heaved it open. A slit became an entrance and the familiar old world was revealed. Everything was there: the stables, the exercise square, the rows of wooden barracks, and the familiar burns and stains in the stone base of the tower. And a familiar figure running towards them.

"Lendora!" Cade yelled, rushing to her. The cords of nerves loosened and fell from his heart as he dissolved in her joyful embrace. They forgot the proper solemnity of Masters, the presence of friends, and a bewildered Nadina. Lendora pulled away, looking guiltily around. "We're at war," she whispered. "Things are different now."

The extra lines around her eyes showed it hadn't been a change for the better. "We've been under attack for weeks. Our old Great Master is dead and our new one is missing. We've lost so many."

"How did this happen?"

"The first time, they came at night."

"Who?"

"Greyskins. They made off with Masters while they slept. Great Master was one of the first to go. They are all dead."

"How do you know?"

"We found them, eventually. In the forest. Their brain-pins were gone. The greyskins knew who to go for – only Masters were taken."

"Who is the new Great Master?"

"You won't like this: it was Nathan. He was taken, but he managed to escape. He was the only one to survive. That's how we found the bodies."

The arrogant, petty little boy Nathan? He hadn't spared a thought for him since he'd left the Monastery.

"Well, that was a surprise to all of us. He turned out to be more gifted than we thought. He is the only one to escape from the Greyskins. The more they attacked, the stronger and braver he showed himself to be. His Connection was unbelievable – like a tidal wave. Until he went missing. We think the greyskins came for him."

Cade tested his heart for the old hatred of his enemy, but found only regret that he hadn't left on better terms. Time had dulled the memories of the suffering and hardship of that old life. Now, it seemed like a distant paradise, separated from him by a sea of new and painful memories. Not even his old school friends were left to connect him to that old life.

"How do the greyskins get in? Aren't the sentries any good?"

"The Greyskins aren't part of the Connection – we can't sense them. They come over the wall at night like cats. Then, in the morning, someone is gone. I haven't slept properly for weeks. We scoured the mountains, but have no idea where they are coming from."

Cade remembered something that Ricky had said – a second base in the mountains. "I know where it is," he said. "Ricky found it."

"Ricky?" she asked.

"Our war machine. He died."

"We saw that. It's unfortunate that it was destroyed. We needed that – we've lost too many. Do you have more machines?"

Cade shook his head. "Ricky was probably the last of his kind. And it was his instability that made him an ally to the Connection – he would have just been a big child if he wasn't fatally damaged."

"Can you lead us to the base? We mustn't wait."

"We must rest. We've been running since we left Hedona and I'm worried that Nadina will leave for good next time."

"One night," said Lendora. "Then we leave."

He slept, but was stuck in a nightmare. He stumbled through the compound, with cold night air biting at his skin, a strong grip hurting his arm and preventing him from falling. The small side-door that led to the power mill was unlocked. _How did they get the key?_ he thought fuzzily. Rough ropes sawed at his ankles and wrists and he was thrown over a saddle before being roped securely to it. He caught a glimpse of his attacker: black cloaked, and moving as smoothly as a mountain cat. The attacker noticed his attention and shook his cloak's sleeve free of his hand. A hand that shone dull silver in the moonlight. The attacker held a small metal cylinder to Cade's face and he felt a cold mist that made his head reel and pulled him into a vortex.

Of course, Cade thought as he slipped into unconsciousness. Things were going too well.
Chapter 28

The journey was a blur, with its progress measured by the increased chafing of Cade's bonds and the regularity of the mist in his face, which brought welcome oblivion. The horse clambered uncertainly over rocks, then daylight warmed his body. He wondered hazily why he was blind, then realised that he wasn't whenever the sack over his head was lifted for another spray from the silver cylinder.

He awoke with the certainty that the more conscious he became, the more troubling the details of his situation would be. He smelled new paint. He opened his eyes and blurred stripes crossed his vision. He stared without comprehension, then the scene resolved into stripes of sunlight on a cement wall.

His wrists were bound behind him, his hands numb and swollen. He pulled himself into a sitting position and the effort made him black out for a moment. Why was he here? He was little use as a hostage: nobody cared about him that much. If they'd wanted to kill him, it would have been easier to have finished him off in his sleep, rather than carry him through the mountains. Whatever they had planned for him, there was little he could do about it. He had to Connect and make sure that Nadina and Eriol were safe. He kicked at the metal door with his feet. A chair scraped outside the door and after a minute, a loud voice called from outside.

"Cade! Don't try anything. You're too weak."

There was a rattle of keys and the door swung open. It was not the Hedonan uniform of his captor which shocked Cade the most, but the empty black eyes and flint-grey skin.

"What are you?" Cade asked.

"I'm a who, not a what. These later-model brain-pins enhance the body as well as the mind, but apart from that, I'm as normal as you are."

Indeed, it moved and sounded like a normal person, despite its hideous appearance.

"Let's cut the formalities. What do I have to do to get out of here?"

"It's more a question of how many pieces you leave here in. We need information. My commander would have liked your machine in working order, but it left behind something useful."

"Other than a smoking hole in the ground, I don't know what you mean."

The greyskin lifted him by the throat, pinning him to the wall. Cade held his breath, refusing to panic and struggle for air. The black eyes filled his and he saw his bruised, gagging face reflected there.

"The Firelance units are programmed to pass on their satellite access codes before they are put out of commission." The greyskin released his throat, leaving him slumped against the wall. "What form are the access codes in, and where are they?"

_When Ricky obliterated the mountain base, what had happened? Had he passed on the codes in the egg that Eriol swallowed?_ Cade forced himself not to think about it. There was at least one brain-pin around. Perhaps someone was stroking his mind even now?

"I would tell you if I knew," said Cade. "But the machine died without letting us know. All I want is to get out of here and all of this to stop. You can play whatever games you want with satellites and brain-pins, just leave us out of it."

"With the machine gone, we can turn our attention fully to the Monastery. Our men are lusting to take revenge on whoever murdered their friends and we only need to tell them who was responsible. You'll need to tell us something good to make it worth stopping them."

Cade shook his head. "I just don't know."

"We'll get it out of you whether you whether you want us to or not!" Cade felt his Connection activate by itself. How did he do that?

"Easy," the greyskin thought. "The Activation procedure of the old-model pins is not very secure."

Cade drew the tendrils of Connection in on themselves. He mustn't let the greyskin in!

"Keep doing that and you'll go mad," its thoughts touched Cade's mind gently, but with the threat of great force. "We've discovered that this is the best way to break a Master. Physical torture takes too long and is unreliable – it's always the least assuming methods that work the best. Lack of sleep, for example, or constant Connection."

_Go_ _on_ _–_ _ransack_ _my_ _thoughts,_ Cade thought, lowering his boundaries. _You_ _won_ _'_ _t_ _find_ _what_ _you_ _need._ _My_ _Connection_ _is_ _nearly_ _useless,_ _anyway._

Cade felt a numbing wave pass through his head, felt the presence of another all over his thoughts.

"You're a mess," the greyskin said aloud, "a waste of a brain-pin in a worthless head. A few hours of Connection will loosen you up a bit."

"Please deactivate me, or free my hands," said Cade. "I just need some time to think about it."

"We don't have time. You can think in full view of me," said the greyskin, walking to the exit. It slammed the door and the latch screeched. Cade steadied his mind and tried to pull the Connection back into his head. Now he understood why they had taken him so far from the Monastery – he would never try to call Mother if there was any risk to his friends. The greyskins were counting on him to use it to escape.

A foreign thought, intruded in his mind. "Please – go ahead! After a day or so of continuous Connection you'll do anything to end it."

That's the last thing I'll do, even if I could! thought Cade. There must be another way out.

Eriol, Ricky and Nadina – each of his companions had shared a part of who they were with him. He was a hybrid, but one forged by intimacy. Had that made him too weak?

Amplified by the Connection, his thoughts chased each other in a maddening loop. He remembered Nadina, thought unashamedly of the touch of her body. The moment of climax when they were the fixed point in the centre of the universe, with everything else swirling inconsequentially around them. The moment when he pulled the minds from the soldiers in the carriage of the Darklander. He could live in that moment forever. He ignored the tempest of thoughts and Connection around him and rested in the eye of the storm. He slumped against the wall. The cement was cold and hard, with smooth, shiny paint that would be easy to hose down. If he paid attention to his surroundings, his mind would resist being drawn into the web of Connection like a drop of water on a cloth.

The window was far above his reach, and heavily barred. Light streamed through in a silent cascade of white streaks, with glints of rainbow which shifted in time with the music of the universe. If they realised what beauty there was in sunlight, they would have blocked the window, thought Cade. He got up, and hindered by the binding of his wrists, lowered himself into a corner where the light warmed his face.

"Enjoy it," thought the greyskin. "It could be the last sunlight you ever see."

Cade ignored it, feeling the light tingle on his skin. He sucked it in, as if drawing in a deep breath. Turning his head to shield his eyes from the light, he saw that the skin on his arm was etched with black veins. He remembered the painful spasms of his body after he had drawn off Ricky's power in the valley and saw again the broken, twitching body of the Hedonan he had killed soon afterward. If only there was a power source here... Think of something else! he thought, shying mentally from anything that would give away too much. He allowed himself to be drawn in by the beauty of the light. He could bask in it forever.

But soon night would come, bringing madness. He knew he would do whatever the greyskin wanted – already the lofty causes of the Monastery and Connection were abstract, inconsequential things compared to the reality of his suffering mind and body. He would never betray his friends – his body could be torn apart slowly, but he was content that the greyskin could not destroy what he could not understand – Cade's love for Nadina, Eriol, and his old family in the Monastery.

"Just give me the satellite codes!" thought the greyskin. "And your friends will be unharmed."

Cade remembered Ricky cowering after he had been fatally injured in the mountains. Poor Ricky had gone through the horror of two violent deaths. He remembered how the machine had leapt to his feet and called for Mother. _Mother._ He remembered the loneliness of Ricky's wail, like a wolf's howl in a moonless night. Ricky had a Mother, yet Cade had never known one. His mind shot upwards, far beyond the cell, and grasped a mind that hung high in the glittering iciness above the earth.

Mother! he called. A mind embraced his, a mind far above the highest mountain. A mind unreachable to all but those who chose to rise up and meet it, those for whom it had infinite love.

Mother, please help!

He felt her amused affection for the smear of life which clung to the earth like slime on a river stone. She showed him the answers, far above those who watched his body below. Cade swelled with her love and rejoiced at the part that he would soon play in the great cosmic joke that was existence. He shared his mind with Mother and she gave him a gift in return – wrapping his mind with a tough bubble to prevent her secrets being revealed. He felt the glassiness of Ricky's child mind, but he was within the orb himself. He could hardly wait to return to his body and see the magic unfold.

Cade shook his head, trying to release the swarm of flies that buzzed and banged inside his skull. The greyskin crouched in front of him, a look of concern on its face. It all seemed so far away. It reached behind his head and the flies escaped from his skull, leaving only a feeling that something wonderful had happened, as if he had awoken from a pleasant dream, but couldn't remember the details.

"You blocked us off. Do that again and I'll kill you – code or no code."

Reality crashed into Cade like the Darklander at full steam. "It's done." said Cade.

"Start the truck!" the greyskin yelled out the doorway. He turned to Cade. "You put up a wall just as the code came out. We have to leave."

"Don't bother running," Cade said. "You'll only die tired."

A cloud of fear crossed the greyskin's previously impassive face. "I know you're bluffing. You're coming to meet my commander. I believe you know each other."

"Good. Then we can all go outside and lie in the grass and watch the rockets come down. We've got some time to find a good spot. It's very impressive."

The greyskin grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and wrenched him to his feet. "You're lying. You wouldn't put walls up if you weren't hiding something."

Cade shrugged. "It won't make any difference if I'm lying. But if you undo me, we'll be able to move faster."

The greyskin grasped Cade's bonds and wrenched them apart. Cade gritted his teeth as blood throbbed painfully in his wrists.

"Move!" the greyskin screamed. It shoved Cade towards the door.

The building was merely an outpost. Small pyramids of hardened cement still lay about in truck-churned clay. Cade's heart sunk as he realised he'd been tricked. He'd thought he was in their main base, but instead, he'd used the Damocles strike to bounce rubble on a barren plain. Surely Mother would have known better? Perhaps she had become sick of the squabbling below and decided to destroy the entire planet, to float freely through the universe in a cloud of rubble.

The truck thundered along the straight road and mountains rose up on both sides of the plateau beside them. The air was thin and cold – they were high up, higher than the Monastery.

"Why did you do it so soon?" the greyskin growled. "You could have warned us."

"You should have been more careful about what you asked for."

"Every smart comment is going to make your life more painful later. I'll start tearing pieces off you if you push me too far."

Cade shrugged. "We're all dead, anyway."

The greyskin leaned out the window and looked upwards. A many-petalled flower of white streaks was unfolding in the sky above. "Not quite. Twenty-four rockets. We counted the blast points from the strike in the mountains. That makes this one roughly twice as big. We'll get a bit of a bone-rattling in our base, but you'll live to call down more strikes for us. Bad news for you, Cade – you should have asked for a bigger bang."

Cade couldn't remember anything about his Connection with Mother – only the warm afterglow. Surely a military satellite built by the Ancients wouldn't waste rockets on a shack?

"I'm tired of killing – I just want to get out of this whole tangle. Why don't we just forget each other and go our separate ways? You have enough power to do what you want without the codes."

"It shows how little the Monastery's beliefs count, that you are so quick to abandon them. Unlike you, we won't drop our ideals until we attain the glory of the Ancients."

"That old world had problems," Cade said. "It tore itself to pieces for good reasons. The Monastery was working to make sure we wouldn't go down the same path."

"By forcing conformity and rules onto the world? That's an empty world, a dead world. Why does a man follow his most perverse, self-destructive whims, spitting in the face of reason? To prove that he has free will, that he is more than a lifeless machine! By placing those Monastery walls around us, you would make us all machines, not men."

Cade was silent as the greyskin's zeal wore down, then spoke. "You're right, in a way. The ideal world of the Monastery would be just as horrible as yours, if they ever managed to achieve it. But experimenting with the Connection field and brain-pins was a distraction that kept them up in the mountains, away from causing any real harm."

"You are so quick to betray your old beliefs. You are a coward and a traitor."

"For a long time I've just been fighting to stay alive," Cade said. "And to protect my friends. I don't care about the Monastery anymore. I can't even Connect."

"You only feel defeated because you don't understand what we are capable of." The greyskin paused, as if its thoughts were frozen like a lopped tree after the final axe stroke, where it could fall in any direction. "We could find you a late-mode brain-pin. Then nothing could defeat you."

Cade looked into the black eyes. Under that freakish exterior there was a fellow Master, one who also felt the seduction of becoming greater than the self. They continued in silence as the truck entered the shade of the mountains. The Damocles rockets lit up the scenery with a harsh glow, like the light of an electric welder.

The truck skidded to a stop at the foot of a rocky hill, where a square box the size of a small cabin protruded from the slope. Its walls were dull metal, weathered by thousands of years of dust and wind and had small windows in the side facing the plateau.

"We found this base, already built by the Ancients," said the greyskin. "We've done our best to make it a comfortable base for our operations."

The greyskin touched its neck and a door rumbled open in the building's wall. They entered the base. The interior was a dirty grey and the roof was tracked by dozens of pipes. A couple of electric lights cast a dirty orange light over the cement interior – the original lights had been gouged out and replaced with the familiar Hedonan globes. Hedonan soldiers stood watching them. Some had dull grey skin and protruding black eyes.

"He has released it!" the greyskin said. "We couldn't access the code, but in a moment you will be treated to an amazing sight!"

They clustered around the windows. The plateau was visible, but the thick glass gave the scenery an amber tint. The sky was crossed with white trails. Any moment, there would be a flash, and a new crater in the plain.

The sky exploded with multicoloured lights – a breathtaking rainbow that stretched from one side of the valley to the other. The lights hung for a minute, suspended in the sky, then gradually faded.

With a flash of recall, Cade remembered his experience with Mother. "Flares!" he said. "Good for testing the satellite without doing any damage."

The greyskin swore and punched at the reinforced glass. "You dared to trick us?" he snarled at Cade. "The rest of your life is going to be very painful."

"I didn't know what was going to happen until now," he said. "I guess the satellite was smarter than you. It knew where this base was and it knew a better way of destroying it."

"How?"

"By using me," Cade said, as he dived for the door to the rest of the compound.

"Kill him!" yelled the greyskin, reaching behind his neck.

Cade no longer had Connection, but he still had the reflexes of a trained fighter. He slammed the door and spun the wheel that would lock it. The door was similar to the one below the Monastery tower – lockable from the inside. It would take them a few minutes to unbolt the release panel and unlock the door. Cade stopped, panting. He could hear bolts rattling as they were undone.

Cade Activated. The tendrils of Connection flew out, then slammed against the glassy layer that Mother had built around his mind. Beyond it, he could sense the torrent of greyskin Connection battering at its outside. Without the shield, his mind would be torn apart.

Mother had made his Connection useless, but the answers he sought were within. He slid down the door until he sat on the floor, took a few deep breaths, then turned his Memory in on itself.

He had touched the greyskin and would have begun absorbing its bornware, as he had with Nadina and Eriol. He listened to the rhythms of his body, found the deep patterns he was looking for. His bornware was a ragged rope of many strands, interspersed with splinters of Connection hardware and other mysterious fragments, dark, glassy globules from Eriol, and there – a few specks of grey. He grasped them and stilled his mind, waiting for a Memory to surface. As his awareness centred on them, the fragments glowed like red coals that had been blown back to life.

The dark part of him, the gift from Eriol, rose up with a sudden hunger, tasting the energy and seeking its source.

Cade understood. The greyskins were shielded from the Connection, just as he was now. They operated in their own exclusive mesh; instead of the Connection, they drew their power from a central source. Cade followed the scent of the power, deep into the heart of the earth. It was close, like a beating heart thrumming through the floor. Cade shook his head clear of the Connection trance and began running down corridors, allowing the Drain to draw him onwards. He heard shouts from behind; the door had been forced open.

The heart of the greyskin's network stood in front of him – radiation crackled from behind the heavy door. A whiff of Ricky: a reactor. He spun the doors' circular handle and hauled it open. Looking into the light inside was like staring into the sun, but with a hotter, rawer bite.

"He's trapped!" he heard a voice yell behind him, a strangely familiar voice. "If he goes in he'll die in minutes."

Cade stepped inside the door. His skin tingled as Eriol's Drain gorged itself on the radiation. He looked at the back of his hands. The skin was criss-crossed with black veins, throbbing visibly. He pushed onwards to a second door. It was thicker than the first, and as it opened, he felt a physical push as the radiation battered his body. He would have even less time than when he had Drained Ricky. If only Eriol was here, he thought.

A grid of cylinders burned themselves into his vision. He hadn't thought this far ahead. He felt intolerably full, as if the throbbing energy would tear him apart like a water bladder. He pictured the Hedonan who had almost shot him in the valley and recalled how he pushed Ricky's energy into the man. He hurled all the energy into the source in front of him. It burned brighter as he unloaded all he could into it. The grid lost its shape, melting and running over the floor.

Metal thudded into place as emergency shutdown rods dropped and the room darkened. He staggered back through the door and slammed it shut, then gasped in relief as he touched the back of his neck and the remaining brightness faded.

The lights in the ceiling had dimmed, turning the corridor into a gloomy crypt. Cade retraced his steps carefully. He felt as if he was a bucket of water, full to the brim, and a single drop spilled would mean death. His hair crackled and sparks streaked his vision like a meteor shower. By the time he reached the outer chamber, he could barely walk. The door was open. Bodies lay around the chamber – grey bodies, their expressionless black eyes like holes in the gloom. Cade could no longer hold back the power. "Run!" he yelled.

Cade's world exploded. Through his closed eyelids he could see blinding arcs fly off him like lightning, tracing scorch marks on the ceiling and floor. He shook his body of the energy until there was none left. The uniforms of the greyskin corpses smouldered and smoked.

Cade staggered outside. The sun was grazing the tops of the mountains and a trail of dust hung in the air to mark the disappearance of the vehicles that had parked outside the compound. A single figure stood on the plain. A familiar face from another life. Nathan.

After dismissing him as dead, Cade couldn't help feeling a rush of joy at having one of the links to his old life restored.

"You never were a real Master, Cade. I doubt even a few more brain-pins would make a difference." As he said this, he turned his head. The base of his skull was a mess of brain-pin insertions, a grid of bloody puncture marks and purple bruises. The tally marks of the deaths of a dozen Masters. Cade's happiness fled.

"It was you, killing Masters? Harvesting their brain-pins?"

"The first one I earned, when the Hedonans made their first night raid – thanks to you stirring up trouble for us in Hedona. I killed one and took the brain-pin. It was a newer version, much better than those in the Monastery. It changed everything. Changed me. The next time they came, I earned their respect by letting them into the compound. When the prisoners tried to escape, I saw that metal spike poking from the back of Great Master's head and thought it would have been a shame to let it go to waste. After that, it was easy to get the rest, one by one. I had to leave the Monastery before they got suspicious. Now I am so Connected, it doesn't matter."

"It's sick. One brain-pin is more than enough for any person. If you really understood Connection you would know that."

"Tell me, what does the world need more – ten more idiots, or one more genius?"

Nathan reached behind his head. "You just killed dozens of my friends. Luckily I hadn't fully integrated with the new brain-pin. All the others – they'd given themselves over to it and couldn't function without it. I am Great Master, and you are only a spy sent down to Hedona, and couldn't even do that! Activate, Master!"

Cade shook his head. "I once promised Great Master I would never use Connection against another Master. I should never have been a Master, anyway. The only reason I had talent for the Connection is that I absorbed it from everyone else at the Monastery, second-hand."

Nathan flicked a staff up from the ground with his foot, and kicked it at Cade. Cade caught it. "You're going to fight like the old days. But this time I'll win. Somehow you've become a Drain – and you know that the Connection priests ended up slaughtering all the other Ancients. We were better. And you can't do anything now that you've voided all the power you took from the reactor." Nathan whirled his staff about him until it whistled in a blur.

"I'll kill you," he said. "And that's the best you could hope for. I'm a monster, but at least I know it."

Nathan leapt at him. Cade stepped into the attack, dropping his staff and placing his hands about Nathan's neck. He felt the life flickering beneath his hands and allowed the Drain to haul it in. Nathan gasped and sank to the ground. _Careful,_ thought Cade. _Not_ _too_ _quickly._ He looked into Nathan's eyes and saw the panic of a drowning man.

"The Drains survived," Cade said. "And collected new abilities along the way. Your Memory couldn't have told you that."

Nathan's struggles grew weak and Cade lowered him to the ground. Cade reached for the last drops of life in his stricken foe's nerves and sucked them free. Nathan's body convulsed weakly and went still. Cade rolled him over.

Like spines on a fish, the brain-pins were already emerging from the back of his head.

Cade plucked them out one by one, then ground them into the dust of the plains under the heel of his boot, until no more emerged.

Now – he could only hope. He rolled Nathan onto his back and placed his hands on his chest, just as Eriol had done when reviving the dead Master at the scene of the massacre. He felt the tremor of energy within him. Fighting against the Drain, he pushed the life into Nathan.

Nathan shuddered, then drew a wheezing breath, clawing back from death. His eyes snapped open and Cade saw himself reflected in his terrified gaze: one who had left a loveless childhood, only to be lost in a lonely adult world.
Chapter 29

For once, Cade was not fleeing, pushed along by fear. He was drawn forwards by the aching distance from Nadina. His anticipation seemed to give the truck added speed and its engine roared like an animal as it streaked across the plateau. Nathan was slumped against the window, watching grey rocks streak past.

"Why don't you kill me?" he asked eventually. "Properly?"

"There aren't many parts of my old life left. I feel I should keep whatever is left, no matter how rotten."

The journey continued into the night, with the truck jolting and creaking along cart-tracks, the headlights picking out rocky cliffs. Cade drove by instinct – keeping the sky's faint glow of Hedona to his left. Late at night they hit the road to Safekeep, then began the long drive upwards. They sky was already greying with dawn when they reached the village. The familiar sight made Cade drive even more determinedly. When the gates of the Monastery loomed out of the blackness, he pulled up in a skid of rubble.

"We're back!" he yelled to the guards. The latch was lifted and the door rumbled open.

Nadina leapt into his arms and they fell in the road. Cade felt a twinge of restraint – the Monastery had probably never seen such a display. He looked up. Lendora watched with a smile, awaiting her turn. Then, she glanced up at the truck and saw Nathan. Whatever emotion showed on her face, it was missing the simple joy of the return of a comrade thought lost.

"Watch him," said Cade. "That traitor would have killed you all for your brain-pins."

Lendora's lips tightened. "When he went missing I thought it was a blessing. We'll lock him up in the cells."

"I've got a better idea," said Cade. He motioned Nathan out of the truck, who crawled down and stood beside it meekly. All the certainty of his bearing had disappeared with the loss of his brain-pins and he cringed like a kicked dog. Cade felt a disgusted pity for him. He knew the shame that came with Connection – the greater the power of the mind, the more it hated the body it was tethered to, like a powerful man tied to an invalid. To be forced into that helpless body forever, unable to escape the chemicals of guilt and fear that soaked the blood, would be doubly humiliating.

"Lendora, who has a key to the tower? To the Activation stone?"

"I do," said Nathan. "I am still Great Master, despite everything."

They unlocked the door under the tower and felt for the light switch. They descended, Nathan first, with Lendora and Cade escorting him at either shoulder. He heaved the wheel that opened the door and a waft of stale, earthy air escaped.

"You can have the honour," said Cade.

"Do we have to destroy it?"

"It's of no use to anybody. The only way out of this is to go back to living in the real world. For all of us."

Nathan wrenched at the Activation stone. It had been set into a recess in the wall, but came away with little effort. He cradled it in his arms and looked down at its smattering of black and white squares, as if waiting for it to give up some last power. Then, raising it above his head, he threw it down. The impact of the Activation stone on the floor smashed the silence of the cavern. Fragments of the stone bounced around the room.

"This room can be yours," said Cade, "until the Masters work out what to do with you." He bent down and picked up a fist-sized piece of the stone. "I'll use this part to grit the road to Safekeep. I wouldn't want anybody to turn this into a jigsaw puzzle."

As he spun the wheel to lock the door, Cade felt his breath catch in his throat. He was suffocating his old friend – choking off his freedom as if it was his breath. Then he thought of his teachers, murdered. Ricky the boy, killed, then his mindless metal corpse exploding days afterwards. His own scars that branded him as a victim, hunted and hated. And the women he loved being the target of destruction by cruel and dull men. That was all behind the heavy door, locked away.

Following the relief, a hundred sleepless nights demanded repayment. His arm slipped around Lendora's shoulder and they leaned on each other for support all the way to the Master's quarters. He barely remembered sliding into a warm bed beside Nadina. His thoughts scattered as sleep embraced him like an eager lover.

They awoke to the strong light of mid-morning. Cade and Nadina lay in each other's arms, drifting in and out of sleep. It was only when the shadows lengthened and the light began fading that they realised that mid-morning was actually mid-afternoon, and they had slept through most of the day.

They ate in the great hall. Many benches were empty, but the space was filled by chatter that the students had been waiting months to release. Many Masters were gone, but most of the students remained. Cade thought of all the young bodies that would have been lying in the mud of the valley floor if Ricky had failed to reach the Monastery in time.

It took several days for Cade to repeat every detail of his story to the students and Masters. By that time, word reached the Monastery that Hedona was in upheaval. Gang warfare had exploded across the city as factions fought for control of the city. However, human nature yearned for stability, and it was a valuable commodity that the powerful would be eager to sell. Soon, those seeking power would enforce an uneasy truce.

On a particularly warm and cloudless day, Lendora took the opportunity to stroll down to the stream with Cade. They sat on the grass, watching the power mill's wheel turn lazily.

"This is the only place where we can get some quiet," she said. "I'm sorry, you must feel like a freak with all the students pestering you."

Cade laughed. "I got used being a freak a while ago."

Cade lay back in the grass, dark spots dancing in his vision in front of the vivid blue sky. "This isn't the place for me any more."

'This is always your home,' said Lendora. "As long as I am Great Master."

"As Great Master you should be chasing me out of here with the flat of your sword! I smashed the Activation stone. I destroyed everything the Monastery stood for."

"That stone was the cause of all our problems," said Lendora. "Good ideas don't need brain-pins to spread."

"The longer I stay, the more I feel the need to find where my home really is."

"I understand," said Lendora. "Years ago I became too Hedonan for my own good. Whether I'm in Hedona or the Monastery, I'll always yearn for the other life."

"You hide it very well."

"I did some things that – almost got me thrown out of the Monastery. But I don't regret them." She hugged him. "You'll be happier away from here - you never were all priest."

Back at the Monastery, Cade and Nadina packed their bags full of provisions. They left without awkward goodbyes – it would not be fitting for the farewell of a Master. Eriol had nothing to pack, but slipped between the gates and walked away alone, a colourless figure against the green of the meadows. She did not look back.
Chapter 30

The rain lashed the shingled roof in waves, its noise competing with the howling of the wind. Cade had overfed the fire, and a bed of coals filled the cabin with a warm glow. A bookshelf and a large mirror dominated one end of the room. A modestly-stocked kitchen was crammed in the corner, for the rare occasions when he felt like eating, or when Nadina didn't feel like dinner in the village.

The times when she had grown itchy for the big city had become less frequent. She preferred the dance-halls of the village, where flutes and drumming kept the villagers whirling through the night until the mountains and trees were visible in shades of grey. There were raised eyebrows at first, but the care which the new teacher lavished on their children made up for her Hedonan habits.

Cade usually joined her in the town, but tonight he was uneasy and tired. Perhaps it was the weather, or the worry that the half-finished power-mill he had been building for the village might be damaged by the swollen river.

The door burst open and rain pattered on the floor. Eriol stood there, her hair wetly transparent and clinging to her face. He had been content and happy in his new life, but the absolute joy of seeing his old friend pushed all the coldness from the world and made him feel like a child once again. He embraced her, laughing and rocking – her body was wet and death-cold. She still wore trousers and a jacket in the style they had adopted on their journey, yet they were stained and mud-splattered.

"So you finally stopped running," she said.

"It's good enough," said Cade. "Nadina is happy here – the villagers are friendlier than in the city and just as much fun. The world seems to have forgotten it was trying to kill me, so I'm happy."

Eriol hung her jacket on a hook behind the door and squelched to the fire. The coals visibly darkened as a wavering outline appeared around her. The cotton of her shirt was a wet film over her body. She seemed taller than he remembered and more powerfully built. She had gained the slight self-conscious stoop of a tall woman. He embraced her again. Perhaps Ricky's gift had infused her with some of his strength... but there was another reason. Her belly swelled slightly, but unmistakably.

"You're pregnant?"

Cade felt the colour rise to his face in the pause that followed. "I never thought of it that way," she said.

"I'm sorry," said Cade. "I don't know how you even... manage. I didn't see any men in the Darklands."

"It's the ball I swallowed. It was Ricky's egg."

Cade could not hide his surprise. "Can you get it out? What's it doing to you?"

She laughed, the sound so rare that he had forgotten it. "It's fine!" she said. "I couldn't live without Ricky, but now I have something that is both of ours."

"What is it – part machine?"

"I don't know," she said, smiling. "Not me, not Ricky. Something new to the world. And, whatever comes of this, I won't be able to live freely in the forest without Ricky's egg. I need to return to the Darklands, and to my own people. And eventually this," she said, rubbing her belly, "can make up its own mind."

"So Ricky, finally put the omnicannon to a better use than making rockets and made an egg!" Cade said.

"And you? When will you..." Eriol asked.

"Not yet - Nadina enjoys her freedom too much," Cade said. "And it worries me - if we have a child that absorbs bornware like me. It will be a problem for them, and the world. And if they take after Nadina, then the world is in for a worse shock!" He paused. "I know hospitality doesn't mean much when you can't eat or sleep, but you are welcome to stay here for the night. Nadina would love to see you."

She glanced at the door. "Some other time," she said. "I have a long journey to the Darklands." She paused with her hand on the door handle, on the edge of speaking, trying to shape a delicate thought with the crudeness of words. "Remember that night in the forest with Nadina, when you both touched me? I was hoping that would happen, even though I knew it would hurt her, and you. I'm sorry. But I'm more sorry that it couldn't have gone further."

They embraced, Cade conscious of her swollen belly pressed against him, then of the coolness of her lips against his. They embraced tightly until Cade let her go. She shrugged on her dripping jacket then disappeared into the sheeting rain.

###

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