 
Sadie

Book One of the Alpha Series

E. L. Todd

This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this novel are fictitious or used fictitiously. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher or author, except in the case of a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Sadie

E.L. Todd

Copyright E.L. Todd 2013

Smashwords Edition

God Save the Queen

beat, one two. one two three.

check check one two. im still here.

i still hear your heart beat.

while i fall asleep. And

i can still smell you.

on my sheets.

i still reach my arm.

over to find my safe place.

rewind. pause.

my heart sinks and my tummy jumps in my throat.

when your hands slide down and.

embrace my hips.

my voice decides to take a vacation when.

your lips kiss me here.

kiss me there.

fast forward. press play.

beat, one two. one two three.

this is me.

and i am still alone. naked.

i wish i was.

i wake up to morning.

and nothing else.

good morning sunshine. Let's dance.

-Hollie Elisabeth Machado

1

I pulled my dress down as far as it would stretch but it snapped right back to my thighs. It was so short, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to sit down. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I cringed. I looked awkward and uncomfortable. I wasn't the kind of girl that went to the bar—dressed like a whore.

Natascia rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, Sadie. You look fine."

I pulled down my dress again but it was useless. It bounced back to my upper thighs. The black dress fit my curves tightly and made my ass and chest extremely prominent. I was feeling more uncomfortable by the second. The last thing I wanted was for people to look at me. "This doesn't even fit."

"Yes, it does," she snapped.

I pulled it down again. "Uh—no."

Stephanie fixed her hair in the mirror. It was silky and brown and reached far down her back. She dyed her hair so often that I wasn't sure what her real hair color was. But it always looked beautiful. "Leave her alone. She's nervous."

Natascia placed the hair band in her hair. "She needs to grow a backbone."

I tucked my brown hair behind my ear then smoothed my dress out again. I sighed as I stared at myself. I didn't look horrible, but I definitely felt out of my element. I glanced at Natascia. "Why are you so mean to me?"

"I'm not," she said with a laugh.

"Well, you're making me go out to a bar—something I have no interest in doing—and you're making me dress like a slut."

Natascia crossed her arms over her chest. "You never do anything, Sadie. You never go out. You just stay home every weekend. The only time you actually want to do anything is under the light of day when we are eating lunch or lounging at one of our apartments. You need to go out!"

I sighed. "See, you're being mean again, making me do something I don't want to do."

"I'm just calling you out on your shit. Come on. It'll be fun," Natascia said.

I sighed. "I guess I don't have a choice."

Stephanie nodded. "You really don't."

We grabbed our bags and left the apartment, heading down to the street. When we got inside the cab, I thought my dress was going to slide up and give the driver a treat. Luckily, I held it down and kept my goodies hidden. Natascia, always the leader of our group, gave the driver the address.

I tried to get my mind off what we were doing. "How was work?"

Natascia sighed. "I forgot to pull out my samples after the twenty-four hour incubation period so I had to start over."

"That sucks," I said.

She rolled her eyes. "You have no idea."

Stephanie checked the time on her phone then returned it to her purse. "Well, at least it was only one day you lost."

Natascia sighed. "I guess so."

Natascia was a researcher at a microbiology lab in the city. When she got the position, she was really excited about it, but now she hated doing research every day.

I looked at her. "Just become a high school teacher. Isn't that what you want to do?"

Natascia fixed her head band again, pulling the brown hair back. "Yes, but my parents would never accept my decision. They didn't pay for my education so I could just teach at the high school level."

"Well, it's your life," Stephanie said. "It shouldn't matter what they think."

"I know." Natascia sighed. "I'll think about it."

Stephanie looked at me. "How's the store?"

I smiled when I thought about work. My father owned a bookstore in the city, and we ran it together. The smell of fresh print books always made my hands shake. And sometimes, if we were lucky, we could get the authors to sign a few of the books. I had the coolest job ever. "It's doing well. I wish I was there right now."

Natascia rolled her eyes. "We're going to have fun tonight. Just relax."

I cringed.

The cab pulled over and we climbed out. Natascia threw some cash at the driver then followed us to the sidewalk. It was saturated with people as they walked through Manhattan. I could tell the bar was busy just by looking through the window. I held my breath as we walked inside. Music was playing over the sound system but it wasn't too loud, thankfully. We took our seats at a table in the middle of the room. I held my dress as we sat down.

When I peered around the room, I immediately saw some men staring at us. I avoided their gaze as much as possible.

"I'm getting a pina colada," Natascia said. "I love those things."

"Too sweet," Stephanie said. "I prefer wine."

"Well, that's because you're picky," I teased her.

"I am not," Stephanie said, affronted.

"Yeah, okay," Natascia said sarcastically.

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"I'm going to have a long island iced tea," I said.

"That's some serious alcohol," Natascia said with a smile.

I looked at the menu again. "It is? I thought it was just tea."

Natascia sighed. "I should have known."

A man approached our table, holding a tray with three drinks. They were cosmopolitans, I think. I wasn't very knowledgeable about cocktails. "This is from the gentleman at the bar."

Natascia looked over her shoulder. There were men everywhere and they all seemed to be looking at us. "Uh, which one?"

"The one in the black suit." He turned around and walked away.

Stephanie stared at the front of the room. "Almost all of them are wearing black suits."

I shrugged. "Well, at least it's free."

Natascia nodded. "Exactly."

"So how's school?" I asked Stephanie.

"This year has been the best. I've actually had time to have a life." Stephanie drank from her glass and put it down. "I even went to the gym the other day. My pants were getting tight."

I laughed. "You're the skinniest person I know."

"Yeah," Stephanie agreed. "But my pants were still getting tight."

"Well, maybe that was a good thing." I stared at my friends and ignored everyone else in the room. I was thankful that no one came over to talk to us. Perhaps I was overreacting about going out to a bar. I did feel the stares fall on us, but I wasn't sure who they were looking at, me or my friends. If they were staring at me, they probably knew how awkward I looked. My thin arms and white skin wasn't appealing in contrast to the dark color of my dress. I went to the gym but I never did weights so I had no muscle tone. I was just thin. I liked my hair. It was thick and wavy. But that was the only thing I liked about myself. I was pretty ordinary.

The bartender returned to our table and I felt my palms sweat. I barely started my first drink. I couldn't possibly drink a second one. "This is from the gentleman at the bar." He placed a red rose on the table right in front of me, making it clear who it was for, then turned around.

"Wait," Natascia said. "Which one?"

"This one," a man said from behind me.

I tried not to flinch but I did. I hadn't noticed a man standing so close to us. The bar was packed, so it wasn't odd to have someone nearby. When he stood next to the table and looked at me, I felt my heart fall. He was over six feet tall with brown hair and blue eyes. He wore a beautiful suit, and I could tell that he was toned and firm under his clothes. I immediately felt the panic ascend. He was staring right at me. There was no confusion who he was interested in.

"Hello. I'm Ethan," he said with a smile.

I said nothing. My voice was caught in my throat. I knew I looked idiotic but I still couldn't speak.

"She says hi back," Natascia said awkwardly.

Ethan nodded at Natascia then returned his gaze to me. He was beautiful—very beautiful. There were gorgeous women all over the bar, so why was he talking to me? And giving me a rose?

"I wanted to buy you a drink but some guy beat me to the punch. But since you're hardly touching it, I suspect the flower is a better gift anyway."

I blushed at his words. I was holding the stem in my fingers and I quickly released it.

He tilted his head to the side as he watched me. He was waiting for me to speak, but I still didn't say anything. "And what's your name?"

"Uh—Sadie."

He nodded. "Are you named after The Beatles song?"

"Yes," I said as I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I was impressed that he knew that.

His eyes glanced to my exposed thighs and the cleavage of my dress. A second later, he looked back at me. His look made me uncomfortable. While I was flattered that he was attracted to me, I was also nervous. He obviously assumed what kind of girl I was, judging by my slutty attire.

"Thank you for the flower but I'm not interested."

His eyes widened. He clearly had never been rejected before. That wasn't a surprise. I mean, the man was gorgeous. "Did I offend you in some way?"

"No. I'm just not interested."

Stephanie kicked me under the table. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

Ethan smiled. I assumed he caught the exchange. "Tell me why you aren't interested and I'll walk away."

I was irritated that this guy wasn't backing down. I made it clear that I wanted him to leave. "I'm not the kind of girl you think I am. I'm sorry if I misled you. I just don't want to waste your time."

He raised an eyebrow. "And what kind of girl do I think you are?"

Even when he looked perplexed, he still looked sexy. Damn. "I'm not having sex with you tonight," I said bluntly.

Natascia tried not to laugh but her chuckles came out.

Ethan laughed. "So you think the only reason I came over here was because I wanted to take you back to my place?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn't mean to come off conceited. I just knew how guys behaved in bars. It was a place where they hooked up with chicks, not searched for relationships. "Yes."

He smiled. "Well, I think you're a very beautiful woman, but that wasn't my intent."

I started to laugh. I couldn't help it. "You're such a liar."

Instead of being offended like I thought he would be, he chuckled. "You caught me."

"So my answer is no. I'm sorry that you wasted your time."

Ethan nodded. "I don't think I did." He stared at me with his heated gaze. I felt unnerved by the look. The man was handsome, one of the best looking guys I've ever seen, but I didn't want to sleep with him then never hear from him again. That wasn't my style.

"Have a good night," I said politely.

"Let's get some coffee."

"Excuse me?"

"You know, espressos, cappuccinos, stuff like that."

"Don't be an asshole."

He smiled. "Sorry."

"And you buying me a cup of coffee isn't going to get me to sleep with you either."

"That's fine with me."

I stared at him suspiciously. "I mean it. You may as well work your magic on some other girl."

"But I'm only interested in you."

I felt my spine shiver. As much as I hated to admit it, this guy had game. "No, thank you."

Stephanie kicked me under the table. "She would love to."

Natascia nodded. "Take her. We'll help you."

I turned and glared at them, giving them a look of hate.

Ethan placed his hand on the table, dangerously close to mine. "Well, your friends seem eager to get rid of you."

"Please," Stephanie said, practically pushing me out of the chair.

I leaned toward her ear. "I'm going to kill you."

"Okay," she said. "But wait until after your date." She nudged me again.

Ethan grabbed my chair and pulled it out, helping me stand. I pulled my dress down again, not wanting him to see too much. He grabbed my clutch and handed it to me. "Shall we?"

"Uh."

"Great," he said before I could finish. "Let's go."

I looked back at my friends one more time, glaring at them before I walked with Ethan out of the bar.

2

As we walked down the street, I pulled my dress down every few seconds. My heels scraped the concrete with each step. I hated wearing flashy shoes like that. It wasn't my thing. He walked beside me, towering over me. He had his hands in his pockets, not touching me, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. But at the same time, I did kinda want him to touch me.

Ethan saw me fix my dress. "Would you like to change first?"

I would love nothing more. But that meant I would have to return to my apartment—with Ethan. I was torn.

He saw me pull my dress down again. "Come on. Where do you live?"

"Uh, just up the street."

He nodded. "Great."

We walked down a few blocks before we reached my apartment building. Ethan held the front door open for me as we walked inside. When we got inside the elevator, it became awkward. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and cringed. I looked so awkward and unattractive. When I looked at his face in the mirror, I saw him stare at my body intently. There was a hungry expression on his face that made my heart race. His arm brushed against mine and I almost had a heart attack. When the doors opened, I breathed a sigh of relief.

We walked to my apartment door and I unlocked it.

Ethan stood outside while I walked in. I didn't want to invite him into the apartment, but I felt rude making him stand outside. "Would you like to come in?"

He smiled. "Thank you." He walked across the threshold and stood in my living room.

I hadn't been alone with a guy in my apartment in a long time. I immediately felt like I was blundering. He was quiet so I wasn't sure what he was thinking. When I heard the familiar sound of a bell ringing, I smiled.

Koku, my little dog, came into the living room and walked toward us. He held a toy in his mouth that was bigger than his head. I kneeled down to the floor to pet him, but he ignored me and walked up to Ethan.

Ethan reached his hand down and started petting the dog. "Who's this little guy?" He massaged Koku's fur then scratched him behind the ears.

Koku acted like I didn't exist. The traitor. "His name is Koku."

"He's a sweet dog."

Koku dropped his toy then wagged his tail, asking Ethan to play with him. Ethan grabbed the toy and tossed it across the room. Koku ran for it, almost knocking over a table, then returned to Ethan. I rolled my eyes. The dog was supposed to protect me, not play with the strangers who entered my apartment.

"I'll be right back." I walked into my bedroom and changed into a long-sleeve shirt, a scarf, and dark jeans. For the first time that night, I felt comfortable. I could sit down without my ass hanging out.

When I walked back into the living room, Ethan looked at me. His eyes drank me in for a moment. "You look lovely."

I blushed. I tried to cover as much of my skin as possible, making it clear that I wasn't a slut.

"Um, thanks."

He smiled. "You don't take compliments very well."

"No, I do."

He laughed. "Your cheeks are as red as an apple."

Now I felt more embarrassed. I kneeled down and kissed Koku on the head. "I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

He whined.

"I love you too."

Ethan patted him on the head. "I'll see you later, Koku."

I looked at him. "No, you won't."

He smiled. "We'll see."

"I meant what I said. I won't change my mind."

He nodded. "I know. And I'm not trying to change your mind." He walked through the door and stood in the hallway. I locked the door behind me then we returned to the elevator.

"So, what do you do for a living, Sadie?" he asked as he moved next to me.

"I work at a bookstore."

He nodded. "Which one?"

"Bill's Book Emporium."

He smiled. "I've been there a few times. Do you like working there?"

"I love it."

"That's great."

"And what do you do?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I work on Wall Street."

"That sounds boring."

Ethan laughed. "And working in a bookstore doesn't?"

I smiled. "You have a point."

He nodded. "Well, it's the same job everyday but with different numbers, I'll give you that."

I fidgeted with my scarf until the doors finally opened. When we walked out to the street, I heard my phone go off with a bunch of different noises. When I looked at it, I realized I had ten text messages. I had a hunch who they were from.

Ethan smiled. "You're close with your friends?"

I nodded. "Very."

"I can tell. They seem nice."

"I like them—sometimes."

"Well, if they approve of me, then maybe you should give me chance."

"They just want me to get laid."

He smiled. "Well, I can help with that."

I smiled at him. "I already said I'm not like that."

"I can wait."

I shook my head. "You're wasting your time."

We walked down the street and passed a few blocks. Ethan placed his hands in his pockets. "I'm definitely not wasting my time."

"Do you think I'm playing hard to get?"

"No."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then I don't understand."

We arrived at the coffee shop and Ethan opened the door for me. After we walked inside, we stood in line.

"What would you like?" he asked. "I'll order and you can take a seat."

"Uh, okay. I'll just have black coffee."

"Okay."

I turned away and moved to a table in the corner. It was nice not to worry about my ass hanging out like it did in my dress. I felt my cheeks blush as I stared at Ethan. He was tall and thin, not too bulky and not too skinny. He was perfect in every way. I didn't understand why he was taking me out to coffee. I already said I wouldn't sleep with him. I doubted he wanted anything but sex from me. And I was still surprised that he even wanted to sleep with me. I felt so ordinary compared to everyone else in that bar.

Ethan returned a moment later with our drinks then sat across from me. He took a drink of his coffee then set it down. He stared at me for a long time without saying anything. I looked out the window to avoid his gaze. The heat in his eyes was making me melt. He made me so nervous but so excited at the same time. His blue eyes were paralyzing. It was hard to look at him without wanting to scream in delight. He was beautiful.

"How long have you lived in the city?" he asked.

"My whole life."

He nodded. "My family is from Connecticut. I moved here after college."

"Do you miss it?"

"I miss my family, my aunts and uncles."

I nodded. "None of them live here?"

"My two brothers do, as well as my sister."

"Well, that's nice."

"Did you go to college, Sadie?"

The sound of my name made me smile. The command in his voice when he said it made me shake. I don't know how to explain it. "Yes."

"And what did you major in?"

"English."

"What do you want to do with that?"

"Well, I like working at the bookstore, but I would like to get into writing and journalism eventually. I do some freelance stuff with friends, but that's it."

"Do you love it?"

I smiled. "More than anything."

"Then that's all that matters."

"Do you love your job?"

He shrugged. "It's okay. I like having a job that allows me to live comfortably in the city."

"So you just care about the money?"

He took a drink of his coffee then returned it to the table. "No, but I care about having a better quality of life."

That sounded like the same thing to me but I didn't comment on it.

"I like that sweater on you. It really brings out your eyes."

Absentmindedly, I grabbed it and ran it through my fingers. It was grey. I wasn't sure what he meant by that because my eyes are green. I realized that I hadn't touched my coffee yet. I was just too nervous around him to move. I didn't want to make an idiot of myself in some way.

He took another drink of his. I suspected that he was almost done.

"So, why did you want to have coffee with me?"

"I thought that was obvious."

"Not to me."

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Or you thought if you were charming and handsome enough, I might change my mind."

"You think I'm charming and handsome?"

"Uh."

He smiled. "Well, thank you for the compliment."

I sighed. "I know what kind of guy you are so you can save the prince charming act."

He raised an eyebrow. "And what kind of guy am I?"

"You know, the kind that goes to a bar and picks up a chick, nails her, then never calls her again."

He said nothing.

"Am I wrong?"

"Well, I can't say that I haven't done that before."

"That's what I thought." I shouldn't have sounded short with him but I did.

"But that isn't my intention with you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sure."

He smiled. "I haven't always been the nicest guy. I've done things that people wouldn't approve of, but I've never been a liar. I can promise you that."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"So, what do you want from me, exactly?"

He glanced at my body then focused his gaze on my face. "I want to take you out to dinner tomorrow night."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because I want to get to know you better." He leaned further over the table. "And because I think you're a very sexy lady."

I felt my cheeks blush. "And you don't want to sleep with me?"

"Well, I didn't say that," he said with a laugh. "That's an offer I couldn't refuse."

"Well, I'm not going to."

"I never asked you to."

I said nothing, finally taking a drink of my coffee.

"So, will you?"

"What?"

"Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow?"

I stared at him. "You know, you are taking the really long route to getting laid. You would save a lot of time if you just picked up another girl. I doubt you have trouble finding women to sleep with you."

"First of all, thank you for the compliment. I'm not going to lie; I enjoy knowing you find me attractive. Secondly, that's fine. You made it clear that you didn't want that kind of relationship and I respect that. You can stop repeating yourself now."

"So are you looking for a relationship?"

"Possibly. I would like to spend more time with you to figure that out."

I ran my fingers through my hair then tucked it behind my ear.

His eyes grew hungry. "But when you do things like that, it makes it difficult to be a gentleman."

"Sorry?"

"When you act sexy like that. You're beautiful."

I felt my heart catch in my throat. "You think I'm beautiful...and sexy?"

"Duh," he said with a laugh. "You don't?"

"Not really."

"Your mirror must be broken."

I didn't know what to say. I found it hard to believe that this gorgeous man thought I was attractive—beautiful. I felt hideous compared to him.

"So, how many times do I have to ask you?" His voice was deep and powerful. Sometimes he was carefree and other times he was aggressive. I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "You lost the right to an opinion. It's settled. I'm taking you out to dinner tomorrow night. I'll be at your apartment at seven."

"Uh."

"I'm glad we got that straightened out." He leaned back in his chair and smiled at me.

"Okay."

"Good."

My phone started to go off again. Every few seconds, there was a loud beep. My friends were pestering me, wondering what was going on with the guy I picked up at the bar. I cringed at the thought. I was on a date with some random stranger, one that I would see again tomorrow.

"Your friends seem very invested in your personal life."

I nodded. "They can be annoying."

"You don't go out with guys very often?"

I shook my head.

He smiled. "Good."

Good? That's an odd response.

I looked at my phone and saw the time. "I should probably get going." In truth, I was so nervous around this man that I needed a break. He was so attractive but so intimidating at the same time.

He rose from his chair then helped me out of my seat. His actions made me smile. At least he was a polite gentleman. He threw our coffee away then held the front door open. When we were outside, I stopped and looked at him.

"Thank you for the coffee."

"Tell me that when we say goodnight."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'm walking you home."

"Uh, that's really okay."

He grabbed my arm—actually grabbed it—and walked me forward. He placed my arm through his and we walked down the street together. Since he placed me in that position, I didn't dare move. Actually, I was happy that he did it. I liked touching him. I felt warm walking next to him. I could feel the muscles of his arm through his jacket. He glanced down at me every once in a while.

When we returned to my apartment building, I tried to pull my arm away but he wouldn't let me.

"We aren't at your door yet."

"You really don't have to do that."

He ignored me. "Come on."

When we got in the elevator, I didn't pull my arm away. His hand was resting in his pocket and he shifted his weight to one leg. He turned to me and stared for a long time, his eyes gazing at my lips. I felt my heart accelerate as I thought about kissing him. I never wanted to kiss anyone like that before. His lips were so thin and pink. I wanted to stick my tongue in his mouth—stop. I couldn't think like that. Things were getting out of hand.

When the doors opened, I breathed a sigh of relief. We walked down the hallway until I reached my apartment. I pulled away and grabbed my keys from my purse. I wanted to invite him into my apartment but I knew I couldn't. With this level of attraction, I knew I would get myself into a mess. I turned toward him.

"Good night. And thank you for the coffee."

He smiled. "Thank you for letting me walk you home."

I nodded, unsure of what to say.

"I'll see you tomorrow at seven."

"Okay."

He continued to stand in front of me, staring at me. His look was so intense that I had to avert my gaze. He stepped closer and I could feel his breath fall on my cheek. I really, really wanted him to kiss me, but I also really, really didn't want him to. I waited to see what would happen.

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "Good night, Sadie."

"Good night, Ethan," I whispered.

"I can't wait until I see you tomorrow." He took a step back and watched me. "Now go inside."

I was dizzy from the kiss he gave me. It was so childish—just a peck on the cheek—but I felt exhilarated. I was surprised that he wanted to watch me walk inside. I turned the key then opened the door. After I walked inside, he started to walk away.

I leaned my head out of the doorway and stared at his ass as he walked away. When he reached the elevator, I felt my heart fall. I forgot that the doors were covered in reflective metal. I could see his face in the reflection. He was smiling at me.

"You like what you see?" he asked as the doors opened.

I jumped back into my apartment and closed the door. I was so embarrassed that I slid to the floor and covered my face. Koku ran out and started to lick my face, calming me. I had never been more ashamed in my life. Ethan caught me blatantly staring at his ass. God, my friends would never let me hear the end of it after I told them.

3

The loud knock on the door made Koku bark. I rolled over and sighed. I was having a dream about Ethan, a really good one, before I woke up. I couldn't remember it that well, but his lips were pressed against mine and they tasted really good. I wanted the dream to come back to me but it was already gone.

The pounding continued.

"Muh," I mumbled as I got up. I walked to the door with Koku trailing behind me. He stared at it and waited to see who was on the other side. I trained him not to run into the hallway years ago. He was a smart dog and I liked having him around. It got really lonely around the apartment when he wasn't there.

I opened the door, and wasn't surprised to see the people greeting me.

"What happened?" Natascia asked, her eyes wide.

Stephanie was staring at me, waiting for an answer.

I yawned and wiped the sleep from my eyes. They looked over my shoulder, expecting to see a naked Ethan walk out of the room. "He's not here."

"He isn't?" Natascia asked.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not like that and you know it."

"Well, neither am I but I still would have done him. Did you see him? He was gorgeous."

I smiled. "Yeah, he was."

Stephanie stepped into the apartment then sat on the couch. We followed behind her. "Did you kiss him?"

"He kissed me on the cheek after he walked me home."

"Awe," they said together.

I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to see him again?" Stephanie asked.

"We are going out to dinner tonight."

Natascia clapped her hands together. "Yes."

I covered my face with my hand. "I did something really stupid last night."

Stephanie leaned forward. "What?"

"When he walked away, he caught me staring at his ass."

Natascia laughed. "How was the view?"

I smiled. "It was nice—really nice."

"And what did he say?" Stephanie asked.

My cheeks turned red. "You like what you see?"

Natascia laughed. "At least he has a sense of humor about it. It sounds like he really likes you."

"How do you figure that?" I asked.

"Well, he wants to go out with you again and he just saw you yesterday."

I shrugged. "I guess."

"What do you mean, you guess?" Natascia said. "When it comes to guys, you are so stupid."

"Uh, thanks," I said with a laugh. "Well, this guy is gorgeous and successful—he works on Wall Street. What interest does he have in me?"

Stephanie stared at me. "You're pretty too, Sadie."

Natascia rolled her eyes. "No, you're gorgeous. Stop acting like you're not. I don't know where your low self-esteem comes from."

"Well, either way, the guy is out of my league."

Natascia leaned forward. "Well, he wouldn't have asked you out twice if he wasn't interested."

"Unless he just wants to get laid," I countered.

"Wouldn't he just pick up some other chick if that's all he wanted?" Natascia asked.

I was quiet for a moment. "I guess you have a point."

"You're one of the dumbest smart people that I know," Natascia said.

"Thanks," I said with a laugh.

There was knock on the door and we all flinched at the sound.

I looked at the clock on the wall. "That's Jared. We're going out to breakfast."

Natascia sighed. "Well, it sounds like your wild—not really—story is over."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you." I walked to the door, but before I opened it, I turned to them. "Don't mention this to Jared."

"Why?" Stephanie asked.

"Just don't," I argued. I opened the door. "Hey."

He walked inside and nodded to my friends. "Hey. Had a sleepover?"

Natascia snorted. "No, unfortunately."

I glared at her. "They were just leaving."

Stephanie and Natascia stood up and walked out the door. "See you later," they said as they disappeared.

"Where do you want to go?" Jared asked.

"The same place we always go."

"But we always go there."

"Because I like it."

He sighed. "Don't you get tired of it?"

"Fine. Where do you want to go?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Whatever."

I stared at him for a moment. "You're so annoying, you know that?"

He smiled. "The feeling is mutual."

I grabbed my keys and we walked out the door. "So, how are you?"

"Good."

I look at him. He was never this short with me. Most of the time, I couldn't get him to shut up. "What happened?"

He smiled. "I'm just having problems with Suzie. I think I'm going to end it."

I nodded. "Thank god."

"I figured you would be happy. I know you never liked her."

I shook my head. "Definitely not. She's too needy, jealous, and controlling. You deserve someone better."

He laughed. "But I thought I was annoying."

I smiled. "Well, you aren't that bad."

"I thought not."

We left the building and made it to the sidewalk. We walked a few blocks before we reached the restaurant. They had brunch every Saturday so Jared and I went whenever we didn't have plans. We took a seat by the window and faced each other.

"So, what did you do last night?"

"Uh, just went out with the girls."

He grabbed a menu and looked at it.

I really wanted to change the subject. "You always order the same thing. Why do you need a menu?"

"Well, what if I change my mind?"

"Have you ever?"

He smiled and put down the menu. The waitress came and took our orders. Jared ordered for the both of us. I always ordered the same thing too.

When she walked away, Jared looked at me. "So, what did you do last night?"

"I just said I went out with the girls."

He shook his head. "You're such a smartass. Went out where?"

"Just out."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not."

"Then where did you go?"

"We went to a bar, okay?"

He laughed. "Wow, my sister put on her big girl panties."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up."

"Get any takers?"

I was quiet for a moment. "No."

"You know you can't lie to me, right? I've seen you lie to Dad a hundred times. I know when you're bluffing."

"Well, there was this one guy."

"And what happened?"

"We went out to coffee."

He nodded. "Are you seeing him again?"

I smiled. "Tonight."

"What does he do for a living?"

I rolled my eyes. "I hate it when you act like this."

"Like what?" he asked, exasperated.

"Like a controlling, over-protective brother."

"Well, it's my job."

"No, it isn't. I can take care of myself."

"By avoiding men at all costs," he said with a laugh.

"Then your brotherly duties are relieved."

"I would much rather have a sister that has shitty boyfriends than one who doesn't have anyone at all."

"I'm not having this conversation with you again."

"Why are you like this?"

I sighed. "What did I just say?"

"Well, I don't get it. You never give anyone a chance. What about Alex? That guy is like in love with you."

"Not this again." Alex was Jared's friend. They met a few years ago and do almost everything together. I always had the suspicion that Alex had feelings for me, but I never thought they were so intense. My brother encouraged me to be with him, but I just never felt anything for him. He was sweet—really sweet, attractive, and funny, but I don't know. He never made my heart race. If I did decide to go out with him, it would be safe. I don't think the guy would ever hurt me, but I still didn't want to.

"Just give the guy a chance. I think you'll like him."

"And if I don't, it will make everything awkward. I would never want to ruin any of your friendships."

"Well, I'm giving you permission, so just try."

I rolled my eyes. "I just told you I have a date tonight."

"What's this guy's name?"

"Ethan."

"Ethan what?"

"I don't know."

"What are you doing tonight?"

"He's taking me to dinner."

He nodded in approval. "So you like him, then?"

I felt my cheeks blush. "Yeah."

My brother caught the look. "So you like him a lot, then?"

I shrugged. "I just met the guy."

"Well, your face is redder than a tomato."

Thankfully, the waitress came over and handed us our dishes. We ate in silence for a long time. My brother and I are barely over a year apart and I think that's why we are so close. We always experienced life around the same maturity level. Sometimes we fought until we were on the brink of war, but we always settled our differences no matter what. My brother was a great guy—the best—but I would never tell him that. Besides, he probably already knew it anyway.

"When are you going to break up with Suzie?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Next time I see her."

"Make sure you hide all the dishes."

He rolled his eyes. "I know."

"She showed me wedding dresses last week. You need to do it soon."

"That girl is crazy. We've been dating for a few months. I never mentioned marriage once. I didn't even introduce her to Dad."

"I don't know what her deal is. You sure know how to pick em'."

He laughed. "Yeah, that's true. I won't make the same mistake twice."

I stared at my brother across the table. He had the same dark hair and green eyes that I did. However, he was much taller and larger than me. He played a lot of sports with his friends and prided himself on his physique. My friends always told me they thought my brother was hot but I never mentioned it to him. It was weird to think about him in that way.

The waitress brought the bill and Jared paid for it like he always did. He refused to let me pay for anything. I never understood why. I didn't need him to take care of me.

"So are you nervous about tonight?" he asked.

"So are you a girl now?"

He laughed. "I'm just trying to talk to you about this guy. You never go to bars and you never go out with people you see on the streets, or people in general, for that matter."

I smiled. "Well, he convinced me."

"And how did this guy manage to pull that off? He must practice hypnosis."

"I don't know," I said honestly. "He just didn't give me the opportunity to say no."

"Well, that's never worked for me."

"He had a charming way of going about it."

"Such as?"

"Well, instead of sending me a drink from the bar, he sent me a rose."

Jared rolled his eyes. "So cliché."

"When have you ever seen a guy do that?"

"Whatever. It's still cheesy."

"Well, it worked."

Jared rose from his seat. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, sure."

We left the restaurant and returned to the apartment building. My brother and I lived in the same complex. We didn't do it on purpose. It just worked out that way. He lived a few stories above me and had an extra key to my apartment. Sometimes, when he wanted to hide from Suzie, he would crash at my place. I didn't mind. He never dropped by unexpectedly. He was always respectful of my privacy just like I was of his. I knew he would always protect me and defend me no matter what my crime. I felt the same way about him.

When the elevator stopped, I got out on my floor.

"Good luck tonight," he said before the door closed.

"Uh, thanks."

"And don't chase him away by being annoying."

"You only think I'm annoying because I'm your sister."

"No. You really are annoying."

"Piss off."

He smiled. "Have fun."

I smiled back. "Thanks."

The elevator doors closed and he disappeared. When I came back to my apartment, a rose was taped to my door along with a note.

Sexy lady,

I'm very excited about tonight. And I'll bring my nice ass along. I know how much you like it.

My mouth stretched into a wide smile. My cheeks were blushing and a laugh escaped my lips. I was embarrassed but I was glad he was being funny about the whole thing. I didn't feel so ashamed. I walked inside the apartment and placed the rose on the kitchen counter. I wondered if it was the same rose from the night before.

Koku ran into the room and jumped up my leg. I grabbed him and held him to my neck, letting him lick my skin and sniff my hair. I scratched his ears while I smiled. I felt like a school girl but I couldn't help it. For some reason, I really liked Ethan. But I was still suspicious of him. I found it hard to believe that he was so stuck on me. There wasn't anything interesting or amazing about me.

4

I decided to wear jeans and a long-sleeve shirt to dinner. I wasn't sure where he wanted to go, but I hoped it wasn't somewhere fancy. I didn't care for overpriced restaurants with small portions. When I ate, I ate like a bear.

When the knock sounded on the door, I almost jumped. Ethan was there. I looked at the clock and realized it was seven o'clock sharp. The man was punctual. I took a deep breath before I opened the door. I wasn't ready to see his beautiful smile and his square jaw. I wasn't ready to see that muscular ass either.

When I opened the door, he was holding a book.

I smiled at him. "What's this?"

"A gift for my beautiful date." He handed it to me.

I looked at the cover and felt the edges. "The Odyssey?"

He smiled. "It's my favorite book of all time. I wanted to share something with you. Now you know me a little better than you did before."

I was touched by the gesture. It was so sweet and so romantic. I loved books more than anything. While people interpreted different meanings from the same story, you still experienced the same adventure. It was an easy way to relate to one another. "That's really sweet. Thank you," I said as I held the book to my chest.

"You're very welcome."

Without thinking, I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. When I pulled away, his smile was even wider. I felt a rush when I touched him. Even though the kiss was innocent, I still felt the fire ignite. I couldn't believe this gorgeous man was so thoughtful.

"And thank you for that," he said. "Are you ready to go?"

Koku ran to him and pawed at his leg.

Ethan leaned down. "Of course I didn't forget about you, little man." He pulled a small bone from his pocket and handed it to the dog. "I don't know if your mother will let you have this, but don't tell her I gave it to you."

Koku took the bone out of his hand and started chewing on it. Ethan scratched his ears before he stood up.

Now my head was spinning even more. Food was the way to a man's heart, but the way to my heart was through my dog. And I knew Koku liked him just as much.

"So are you ready to go?"

I nodded as I stared at him. He was wearing dark jeans and a gray shirt. It was ordinary, but I could see the lines of his body through his shirt. He was fit and his muscles were prominent. I fantasized about him without his shirt on for a moment, but stopped myself. I couldn't go there right now.

He opened the door. "After you, m'lady."

I smiled at him as I walked out the door. When we walked toward the elevator, he grabbed my hand.

"You look absolutely beautiful tonight."

I looked down at myself. I was wearing jeans and a plain shirt. I didn't look special or particularly dolled up. "Oh, thanks."

"Why is it so hard for you to take a compliment?" he asked as we walked inside.

"I said thanks."

"But you have this surprised expression on your face."

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, get used to it because I think you're damn fine."

He caressed my fingers with his as we stood in the elevator. I liked feeling him touch me. It was innocent, but it drove me insane with longing. I didn't know if I could kiss him on the cheek again without moving to his mouth. I wondered what he tasted like.

He released my hand and turned around. "Do you want to get a good look while we wait?"

I blushed. "I wasn't looking." Well, I was looking now. It looked quite nice.

He turned around and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Just admit it. You were caught in the act."

"I was not. I was making sure you didn't get lost."

"Who? Me or my ass?"

I laughed. "Both of you."

He pressed his face close to mine as we rode the elevator down to the bottom floor. I didn't want the ride to end. I inhaled the scent of his skin. He smelled like a fresh shower. I wanted to lean in and kiss him but I stopped myself. He stared at my lips. I waited for him to kiss me but he never did. I was growing more disappointed by the second. Finally, when the doors opened, he pulled away and grabbed my hand. I felt my heart fall. Why didn't I just kiss him?

He waved down a cab and we got inside. He said the name of a restaurant and the driver sped away. Ethan still held my hand while he rested it on his thigh. I could feel the muscles in his leg just from resting on the surface. He was strong and powerful. I kept imagining him naked but I pushed those thoughts away. Just yesterday I didn't want to sleep with him, but now that's all I can think about.

Ethan leaned close to my ear. "How was your day?"

"Good."

"What did you do?"

"I went out to breakfast with my brother."

He nodded. "You two are close?"

"Really close."

"That's great. I'm close with my family as well."

"Don't get me wrong. He can be really annoying."

He laughed. "Yeah, my family can be too. But you gotta love em'."

"Unfortunately."

"So, did you tell your girlfriends the scoop?"

I laughed. "Maybe."

"And how did I come off?"

I shrugged. "Good."

"Did you tell them about my ass?"

My cheeks were blood red. "It may have come up."

"Well, I hope both me and my ass were heroes."

"I think so."

He rubbed my knuckles with his thumb. "Did I mention how beautiful you are?"

I blushed again.

"You really should get used to it. You're going to be hearing it a lot from me. I'm sure you've heard it your whole life."

"I'm just wearing jeans and a shirt."

"And you still look amazing. What does that say about you?"

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

He shook his head. "You'll realize it eventually, Sadie."

"Realize what?"

"That you are really exceptional."

The cab driver pulled over and parked. Ethan paid the driver then we left the car. Ethan held my hand again as we walked to the small café on the strip. There were tables outside covered in white table cloths and it looked peaceful, serene. I was just glad it wasn't a crazy fancy restaurant. I hated it when guys took me to those. I couldn't care less how much they had to spend on one meal.

"How does this look?"

"It's perfect."

"Good."

We walked inside then took a seat outside. The sun had set and it was slightly chilly, but it wasn't too bad. When Ethan looked away, I stared at his face and chest. My thoughts always turned lustful when I looked at him. I shook the thoughts away because I was starting to feel guilty about it. I was just as bad as the womanizers in the bar.

He returned my look. "Thinking about my ass?"

I laughed. "You caught me."

"It's okay. I get that a lot."

"It is really cute."

He shrugged. "Well, you know."

"Why haven't you complemented my ass?"

"Because I haven't looked."

"I thought you weren't a liar?"

He laughed. "You caught me. It's very beautiful. I would like to see it up close."

"Is that what this dinner is for? To get me into bed?"

He shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't mind if it led to that, but no, that was not my plan."

"Yeah, okay," I said sarcastically.

"I don't know why you don't believe me. Is it that hard to believe that I just think you're a gorgeous woman and I want to know you better?"

"Yes."

He laughed. "Why?"

"Since we met in a bar, I doubt that's what you were looking for."

"You're right. I wasn't. But when I saw you, I knew I had to have you—not just in a sexual way."

His words made my spine shiver. It was territorial, almost possessive. "And why is that?"

"I have no idea. Sometimes you just know. When I saw you, my heart raced. I started to sweat. I was hard instantly—excuse my vulgarity."

The idea of him being hard made me hard. I didn't know why. If any other guy said that to me, I would have gotten up and walked away. "You're excused."

"Thanks."

The waitress came over and we ordered our meals. Ethan ordered a bottle of wine for the table and poured me a glass.

"Another tactic—getting me drunk," I said as I sipped the wine.

"Damn, I've been caught."

I finished the glass. It was really good.

"What do you do for fun, Sadie?"

"I like to read."

"Anything else?"

"I write book reviews for a few magazines. I just do that whenever they ask. It's extra money."

He nodded. "That sounds interesting."

"I like it. What do you do for fun, Ethan?"

"I like it when you say my name." His eyes were heated for a moment. I could almost see into his mind. I knew what he was thinking about. I was thinking the same thing. He took a drink of his wine before he put it down. "I enjoy seeing my niece and nephew—my sister's kids—and I enjoy playing ball with my friends. I like to read, but I doubt I read as much as you do, and I love fantasy football and all Brad Pitt movies."

"You sound like every guy I've ever met—except for the niece and nephew part."

"Well, there isn't a lot of variety to us. We are all obsessed with the same things: sports, sex, and food."

"Women are the same way. Just exchange sports with shopping."

"They are obsessed with sex?" he asked with a smile.

"Some."

"Are you?"

I looked away from him. "No."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, I'm not."

"We'll see about that."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

He stared at me. "Nothing, Sadie. Nothing."

"I said I wouldn't sleep with you." I had no idea why I kept saying this. I wanted to have sex with him on the damn table.

"I know what you said."

"So you don't believe me?"

He leaned forward and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'm not with you just to have sex, despite what you may think, but I am going to be inside of you one way or another. I'll wait as long it takes, but it's going to happen."

His words made my heart palpitate. Such a threat should have left me frightened and paranoid, but it didn't. I wanted him to keep his word. I crossed my legs and squeezed my thighs together. I felt the burn.

Ethan leaned back and stared at me. "No rebuttal?"

I shook my head.

"Good."

The waitress brought our food and we ate in silence for a while. I felt the tension from his earlier words. I had never been more attracted to someone than I was to him. A part of me wanted to sleep with him even if he did drop me like a hat. He ingrained a neediness inside me that I couldn't satisfy. I hadn't even kissed him but I wanted to jump to home base. Maybe I was one of those girls that I claimed I wasn't.

When we finished our meal, Ethan slipped some cash into the folder. I didn't offer to pay or leave a tip. I could tell what type of guy Ethan was. He would never let me pay for anything. I didn't need to do the check dance to figure that out.

"Thank you for dinner."

He nodded. "You're welcome, Sadie."

My spine shivered when he said my name.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

He stood up first then pulled my chair out, helping me to my feet. He grabbed my hand then guided me down the sidewalk. He didn't call for a cab, and we walked down the street together. I didn't mind. I just liked being with him, feeling his hand in mine. "Would you like some dessert?"

I touched my stomach. "I don't think I could eat another bite."

"I'm not surprised. You ate more than I did." He laughed softly.

"I like food." I nudged his arm with my shoulder.

"I like it when girls like food. None of that house salad with no dressing bullshit."

I laughed. "Well, that's a relief. I'm definitely not like that."

"And I'm glad."

We went back to my apartment building and I couldn't believe our date was already over. I felt like time passed so quickly when we were together. We stood side by side in the elevator as it ascended the floors. Anytime I was alone with him, I felt the sexual tension in the air. I wanted to jump his bones so bad I could have screamed.

When the doors opened, I breathed a sigh of relief. We walked down the hallway until we came to my door. I fumbled with the keys for a while, unsure of what I should do. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted him to come inside—and do things. But I felt stupid for doing that. I wasn't thinking with my brain. I finally turned the lock and opened the door.

"Good night, Sadie," he said. He kissed me on the cheek.

Feeling his chest against mine made my thoughts blurry. "Do you want to come inside?" I whispered.

He smiled. "I was hoping you would ask." He guided me inside the apartment and closed the door behind him.

Koku was sitting on the back of the couch and he wagged his tail when he saw us.

"Hey, honey," I said as I kneeled to pet him.

Ethan stood next to me. "Where's the bone?"

I laughed. "It's gone. He either ate it or hid it—probably in my bed."

"Well, maybe I should take a look," he said with a smile.

Yes, you should. I shook the thought away. I was such a slut.

"Let's watch a movie," Ethan said.

"What? I mean—okay."

"Did you have something else in mind?"

I could hear the accusation in his voice. He knew what I was thinking. "No, that sounds great."

"Okay." He sat on the couch and Koku immediately hopped in his lap. Ethan stroked his fur while I grabbed the remote.

I glared at Koku. It was like I didn't exist anymore.

"I think he likes me," Ethan said as he smiled at him.

"And he's forgotten me."

"Maybe you should give him more bones."

"I don't want him to get fat."

"Why? Fat dogs are cute."

I laughed as I turned on the television. I put it on a random movie station. Casablanca was on.

"What a classic," Ethan said.

Since he seemed to like that film, I left it on the channel. I put the remote down and sat next to him. He grabbed my hand and held it in his own. Sitting so close to him, smelling his scent, had me practically shaking with neediness. I never thought it would be so hard not to sleep with someone. Ethan was sweet, sexy, and just perfect. It was almost too good to be true. I really wanted him to kiss me but he didn't make any moves. One of his hands was still scratching Koku behind the ears. I started to shake my leg in anticipation.

I leaned in closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. When I did this, he kissed me on the forehead. I practically melted at the touch. I felt like I was going insane with longing. I turned my face toward him, trying to communicate that I wanted him to kiss me but he continued to watch the movie. Now he was being too much of a gentleman and I was starting to hate it. I invited him inside my apartment for a reason. I wanted to kiss him myself but I was too scared.

"Sadie, if you want to kiss me, just do it."

I flinched at his words. "What?"

He pushed the dog off his lap then turned to me. "Kiss me if you want to kiss me."

"Why don't you just kiss me?" I whispered.

"You made it clear that you don't want a physical relationship. So, if you do want me, you should tell me or just go for it." He pressed his face close to mine and stared at my lips, waiting for me to kiss him.

"I do want to kiss you."

"I want to kiss you—everywhere."

I shivered. "Then why don't you?"

He leaned in closer to me. I felt his breath fall on my skin. My breathing had increased and I couldn't stop it. "I think I might." He pressed his lips against mine. At the instant of contact, I moaned. His kiss was gentle and tender. He barely moved against me. Ethan broke apart and rubbed his nose against mine before he kissed me again. It was so hot. It was the best kiss I've ever had. He lips caressed mine slowly, and he breathed into my mouth. His lips tasted sweet. I moaned again. I had never been that aroused for someone before. I wanted to be embarrassed but I couldn't help it. The fire he lit inside me had already spread to a growing wildfire.

I placed my hands on his chest and felt his body. He was solid. My hands ran free, touching his shoulders and arms then his brown hair. Ethan placed his hand on my thigh then moved to my hip. With his other hand, he cupped my face and touched my hair lightly. Every little gesture he made just heightened my arousal. I wasn't sure how he did it but he managed.

Ethan lowered me down to the couch then moved on top of me. I touched his abs then gripped his back, pulling him closer to me. Against my will, I wrapped my legs around his waist. I felt his cock against my hip. Even through his jeans, I knew it was big.

Ethan kept his hands in safety zones, areas that wouldn't violate me. His fingers caressed my hair and my stomach.

"Ethan," I whispered.

He moaned. "I like it when you say my name."

"Ethan, touch me."

His hand moved to my chest and he gripped my breast, squeezing gently. Then he moved his hand down to my waist. He unbuttoned my jeans. I felt my heart accelerate as he moved lower. He placed his forefinger on my clit and rubbed gently.

I gasped. "Ethan."

"Baby."

I gripped him tighter and kissed him with more passion. With just two fingers, he was giving me more pleasure than I ever had before. My hands grabbed his shirt then pulled it over his head. He didn't resist me. I stared at his chest and moaned. He was beautiful, strong, and cut. I thought I would come just by looking at him. I grabbed his jeans and unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down.

"I know what you want to see," he whispered. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his ass. I squeezed it, feeling the prominent muscles of the area. He was strong.

Ethan still didn't remove my clothes. I was waiting for him to do it but he never did. He continued to rub my clitoris, making me shake.

"Ethan."

"Baby?"

"Take off my clothes."

He pulled off my jeans then threw them on the floor. He came back to me then pulled the shirt from my body. When he lay back on top of me, he stared at my body. "And you don't realize how beautiful you are? You get to see this every day."

I grabbed his face and kissed him, needing him again. I felt his erection against my clitoris through our clothes. I wanted to take those off too but Ethan hadn't removed them. He started to grind against me slowly. His dick pressed against me and rubbed me the right way. I already felt my body start to crumble.

This beautiful man was making me feel things that I never felt before. With every move, I wanted him inside me more and more. I was about to scream because I wanted him so badly. I already felt the orgasm building and we weren't even doing anything. His hand glided through my hair and made me feel like a goddess. When he pressed against me again, I felt the momentum increase. His kiss, his body, his touch, sent me to the brink with pleasure. I gripped his back as the orgasm slammed into my body. I pulled him closer to me, making him press against me again and again. Ethan broke our kiss as he watched me have my moment.

"Ethan," I whispered. "Ethan."

"Baby."

It shattered my body and soared everywhere. I was shaking in his arms, overcome with the unbelievable pleasure that rocked my body. It felt so good that I bit my lip. I held his face close to mine as the moment came to an end. I was breathing hard and I felt the sweat form between my breasts. Ethan still moved on top of me.

When I was done, he looked down at me.

"Did you just come?"

I felt my cheeks blush. "Please don't judge me."

He smiled. "I'm not. I'm just surprised. I barely did anything."

"But you're so hot, Ethan."

He kissed me. "Thank you." He stared at me for a moment. "That's how you take a compliment, by the way."

I ignored his joke. "Let's go in the bedroom."

His eyes turned serious. "And do what?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Have sex."

"I thought you didn't want to?"

I ran my hands up his chest. "Well, I changed my mind. I want it."

"I want it too." He kissed me gently before he pulled away. "But it'll have to wait."

"What? Are you being serious?"

"You're only saying this because you are in the mood. If you weren't turned on, you would say no to me."

"Let me get this straight. You've been wanting to sleep with me, even threatened that you would get inside me eventually, but now that I'm offering it, you don't want it?"

"It's not that I don't want it, baby."

"Then what's your problem?"

"I just know you aren't ready."

"And why do you care?"

"Because I care about you—a lot. I meant what I said. I don't just want to sleep with you. I want more."

My eyes softened. "You do?"

"Yeah. And if we sleep together, I already know what's going to happen."

"What?"

"You're going to be mine and I'll never let you go."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Well, we just met. Doesn't that seem a little soon?"

"Not if you don't think so."

"Wow, you're really turned on," he said with a laugh. "I could make you agree to do anything. I'll make you come again and you'll be back to normal."

"Ethan, I really like you."

He leaned over me and placed his two fingers on my clitoris. "And I really like you."

"I want to please you too." I reached down and grabbed him.

He pulled me away. "Don't worry about me," he said as he started to rub me. "I want to make you feel good, Sadie."

"I want you inside of me."

He moaned. "You can't talk to me like that, Sadie."

"Please."

He moaned. "Please don't beg."

I pulled off my underwear then pulled down his shorts, revealing him to me. He was big. There was no way that thing was going to fit inside me, but we had to try. "Please, Ethan," I said as I wrapped my legs around him. "I want you. I want you. Please."

"Dammit, Sadie." He pressed his cock against my wet pussy. He rubbed against me gently. "You have no idea how much I want to be inside you."

"Prove it."

He moaned again.

I grabbed his cock and aimed the tip at my entrance. I couldn't believe how I was behaving, but that's how much I wanted him.

He closed his eyes and said nothing for several seconds. "I can't." He pulled his dick away then leaned over me, rubbing his two fingers against my clitoris again. "But I'll make you come this way."

Before I could argue, he was kissing me while he pleased me. I was already tender and his touch made me shiver. It felt so good that I gripped his back tightly. He slipped his fingers inside of me while he rubbed my clitoris. I was panting for him, on the verge of another orgasm. I spread my legs wider as he continued to touch me.

"Ethan."

"Come for me, baby."

"I am." I dug my nails into his back. "I am. God."

It rocked into me and it felt even better than the first time. I leaned my head back as I enjoyed the moment. It felt so good that it made my toes curl. When my moment passed, Ethan removed his fingers and put on his boxers. I lay there and tried to catch my breath.

When I was done, I sat up. "I want to make you feel as good as I feel, Ethan."

"You'll get your chance."

"Why won't you have sex with me?"

"I already said why. You are just hot right now."

"You already made me come twice. I'm logical now."

He laughed.

"What do I have to do?"

He looked at me. "If you really want to have sex with me, I want you to tell me when we aren't fooling around. When your mind is completely logical and we aren't naked together. That's when I want to hear you say it."

I crawled onto his lap and kissed him gently. "You're amazing."

He smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Why didn't you do that to begin with?"

He laughed. "Because you thought I was a pig."

"I still think that."

"Well, right now I feel like one. Put on some clothes."

"No," I said as I kissed his neck.

"Now."

The command in his voice made me stop. It could be so playful then stern a second later.

"Sadie, put on your clothes. I won't ask you again." He stared at me with his heated gaze.

I crawled off his lap then did as I was told. I wasn't sure why he was getting so angry. Ethan threw his clothes on then walked into the bathroom. I heard the faucet running for a while before he came back. He sat on the couch next to me and held my hand again.

I cuddled next to him then Koku returned to his lap. We sat together and watched the movie. I started to fall asleep from my post orgasm exhaustion. At some point, I fell unconscious in his arms.

I felt my body being lifted from the couch then placed on the soft sheets of my bed. The blankets were pulled over me and Koku lied by my feet. I felt a warm kiss press against my forehead. I vaguely heard the sound of keys jingle in the door, but I was so tired that I didn't wake up.

5

Ethan was at my door, ready to take me out for a drink. His eyes widened when I opened the door. "You look nice."

I was wearing a black dress that reached my knees. It was tight and curvy, but it covered all the essentials. I knew I could sit down without giving everyone an X-rated show. I tucked my hair behind my ear, averting my gaze.

Ethan stared at me, waiting for me to accept the compliment. When I didn't, he stepped into the apartment. Koku ran to him, his tail wagging excitedly. Ethan pulled a bone out of his pocket and handed it to the dog, who took off running with it clamped in his jaws. I knew I would find the bone in an odd place, underneath my pillows or in one of my shoes.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

"Yes." I grabbed my clutch from the counter. When I looked at him, I saw the tightness of his slacks. They were loose in the right places, but constricted in the better regions. I kept imagining his naked body and it made me hot. His collared shirt exemplified the muscles of his chest. "You look handsome."

He stepped toward me then rubbed his nose against mine. "Sounds like we are a matching set." His hand glided down my back, stopping just above my ass. Just the gentle touch was enough to set my skin on fire. He kissed the corner of my mouth, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. He kissed the other corner then parted my lips with his, caressing my mouth. When he pulled away, I felt cold. I wanted to keep kissing him. I never felt so alive in my life.

He turned to the door and opened it. "Let's go."

I stood still for a moment before I followed him out the door. He closed it behind him then locked it with my key. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, guiding me to the elevator. When the doors closed, he turned to me and stared at me. Nothing was said but his thoughts were as obvious as the weather.

He placed his thumb on my bottom lip. "I could kiss your lips all day." He rubbed his nose against mine, holding me close. The beeping of the elevator went off but neither one of us noticed the sound. His eyes took me in, absorbing every part of me. I felt like a well that he continued to drink from him, always parched and never satisfied. Only a day had passed and I felt the change between us, the strong connection that seemed to form out of iron and steel. His obsession for me was growing. I still couldn't believe that someone so beautiful thought I was worthy of his time. He wouldn't have sex with me because he wanted to prove his interest in me without it. I never thought holding out would get a guy so interested.

His hands slid down my arms, making my skin prickle. I felt like a muse from a painting, the star of the picture. Every touch felt like he was worshipping me. We weren't having sex or even kissing, but I felt like we were making love in a way, just touching each other, staring at each other. If Ethan ever left me, I wouldn't be able to go on. My obsession was him was becoming paramount. Without him, I didn't even have myself.

The doors opened but neither one of us moved. His blue eyes were still glued to mine. He leaned into me, kissing me gently as a couple walked inside the elevator. When he was finished kissing my lips, he pulled away and guided me from the elevator. The couple in the elevator was clearly uncomfortable by the intense affection, but Ethan and I didn't care for their opinion.

When we reached the street, he hooked his arm around me. "What's your favorite book?"

"That's a horrible question."

"I told you mine."

"I don't have one."

"How is that possible?"

"I love them all."

"Let me rephrase my question. What is one of your favorite novels?"

"That's better."

He kissed me then pulled away, not breaking his stride. "Tell me."

"Why?"

"I want to know everything about you."

She smiled, feeling the redness tint her cheeks. "The Hobbit."

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"It's a perfect children's book. It has great action and adventure. My dad used to read it to me before bedtime."

"I never expected that."

"Why?"

"It just seems like a masculine book. I wouldn't expect a beautiful young girl to be interested in that."

"Well, there was a dragon at the end, a hoarder of treasure. That was my favorite part."

He smiled at her. "You are so adorable."

"Thanks."

"You are sexy, shy, and adorable. It's a killer combination."

I wasn't sure about the first one. I had never been sexy in her life. When I tried, I just looked horrible. When I took a zumba class in college, trying to dance sexy, I just made an idiot out of myself. "Why do you love the Odyssey?"

He sighed. "That's a tough question. I guess I like the loyalty in it, that his wife still waited for him even though she wasn't sure if he would ever return. Everyone said he was dead but she chose to wait. Love like that doesn't exist anymore."

"I think it does."

"You do?"

She nodded.

"Let's bring it back together."

"Okay," I said with a smile.

They walked a few blocks before they reached the bar. I didn't care for alcohol much, but Ethan suggested the place. As long as I was with him I didn't care what we did. Ethan led me to a table.

"What would you like?"

"I'll have a chardonnay."

"Okay." He kissed me on the cheek. "I'll be right back." He turned around and walked to the bar. I eyed his ass for a long time, seeing it hug his slacks. I wanted to bite it because it looked so tasty.

"Sadie?"

She turned around. "Billy?"

"Hey," he said, hugging her. "How are you?"

"Good. I heard you were working for Esquire."

"Guilty," he said with a smile.

"That's so great, "I said as I patted his shoulder. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks. I was just the mail guy forever until they finally let me move up."

"I had no idea writing was so competitive until I started looking for jobs."

"Neither did I. My wife was bringing home the bacon for the longest time."

"You got married?"

"Yeah."

I hugged him again. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," he said as he returned her embrace. "So, are you seeing anyone?"

I pulled away and saw Ethan walk toward us. He looked angry but I couldn't imagine why he would be. He placed the drinks on the table then stepped up to Billy, his anger flashing in his eyes.

"This one is mine. Get your own."

My mouth dropped when I listened to him. Did he just say that?

"Now go," Ethan threatened.

Billy glanced at me, confusion on his face.

"Ethan, this is my friend, Billy. We went to school together."

Ethan glared at him but said nothing.

"He's married," I added. That seemed to release the tension from his shoulders.

Billy looked at me. "Well, it was nice seeing you, Sadie. Good luck with everything." He turned and walked away.

I covered my face, mortified by Ethan's behavior. "What the hell was that?"

He sat across from me. "Sorry. I thought he was hitting on you."

"And what if he was?" she snapped. "You can't just talk to people like that."

"Yes I can."

I raised an eyebrow. "Not if you want to be with me."

He looked at her. "I don't like it when you talk to guys at bars. I know what they are thinking. They are here just to pick up some stupid bimbo then get their dicks wet."

"He's married."

"So? How was I supposed to know that?"

"If you didn't threaten him right away you would have figured it out. Or if you just looked at his ring finger. That's always a good indicator."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

"I just don't want you talking to guys when you are at a bar dressed like that."

"Dressed like what?"

"You know what I mean."

"I really don't."

He ran his hands through his hair. "You don't know how guys think. I just don't want anyone to bother you."

"I can take care of myself, Ethan. When you tried to sleep with me, I said no, didn't I?"

"You are lucky that I was a gentleman."

"A sexist gentleman."

"I just don't like it when people look at what belongs to me."

"I don't belong to you," I snapped. I had enough of this bullshit from him. Ethan was a living paradox. He was such a sweet and sexy man, but he could be totally psychotic just a single instant later. I picked up my clutch then walked away from him.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"This is over."

His eyes widened in panic. "Wait."

"No."

He grabbed my arm. "Please don't go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I've never been in a relationship before. I admit that I'm pretty ignorant to how it works. I really like you, Sadie—a lot. I just—don't want anyone to take you from me."

"And the best way to do that is to threaten every man with a penis?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just care about you so much. I don't want to lose you."

"You will if you keep acting this way."

"I'll stop," he said quickly.

"I won't be with someone who tells me what to do or dictates who I talk to. If you want to be with someone that you can control, then I'm not your girl." I hoped that wasn't the route we had to take. I really liked Ethan—loved him. I definitely didn't want to lose him. But if I was going to be bossed around all the time then it wasn't worth it.

"It won't happen again."

I looked at Billy across the room. "Go apologize to him."

The annoyance in his eyes told me everything that he was feeling. He was never going to do that. "Ethan?"

He sighed then walked away, heading over to Billy. I was shocked that he actually did it. They spoke for a few moments. When the conversation ended, they shook hands. Ethan came back over with his hands in his pockets. "I did as you asked."

"Okay."

"Can we continue with our date?"

"Yes."

He guided me back to the table. We were quiet for a long time, neither one of us saying anything. It was still awkward from the fight we just had. Ethan looked genuinely apologetic about his behavior.

"So, what's the line for you?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. "What?"

"The line that I can't cross. I can be very protective of the people that I care about. What am I not allowed to do?"

"You can't tell me what to do, where to go, or approve who I can and can't talk to you."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Is that going to be a problem?"

He was quiet for a long time. "No."

"Good."

"Would you like another?" he asked, eyeing my glass.

"No."

"Would you like to leave?"

"Yes."

He grabbed my hand and led me outside. His arm hooked around my waist and held me close to him. Even though that bar smelled like booze, he still smelled fresh and clean, like he just took a shower.

"Is this our last date?" he asked sadly.

I looked at him. "No, of course not."

"I didn't ruin this?"

I stopped and stepped in front of him, wrapping my arm around his neck. My breasts were pressed against his chest. He hands grabbed my waist, squeezing me. "No, Ethan. I still want to see you."

He rubbed his nose against mine. "Thank you for putting up with me."

"You're lucky you are so sexy. That ass saved your skin."

He smiled, a quiet laugh escaping. "That thing always comes in handy."

"As long as you understand what kind of girl I am, we shouldn't have any problems."

"I do know what of girl you are."

"Then everything will be okay."

He rubbed his nose against mine then kissed me. "Thank you."

I pulled away. "Let's go back to my apartment. I have to feed Koku."

"We should stop by and get him more treats."

"No," I said quickly. "He's already getting chunky."

"You're a horrible mother, talking about your son like that."

I laughed. "I love that little dog."

"I love him too."

We arrived back to the apartment building and made it back to my place. I unclasped the gold bracelet around my wrist then set it on the counter.

"You look good in gold," he said.

"Thanks."

He laughed. "You respond to compliments as long as they aren't commenting on your beauty or looks."

I said nothing, knowing he was right. I just wasn't sure how to respond to comments like that. If I accepted the compliment, didn't it mean that I agreed with it? And if I did agree, wouldn't that make me conceited? I just stayed clear of those words.

Ethan sat on the couch then Koku sat on his lap. I walked to him then pushed my dog away, straddling Ethan's hips. My dress moved up slightly but Ethan didn't pull it up all the way, which disappointed me.

Ethan leaned back and brought my lips to his, kissing me gently. His breath filled my mouth, exciting me so fast it blew my mind. I was instantly hot when he touched me. His fingers glided through my hair, softly pulled the different strands. His other hand moved up my side, feeling the flesh around my torso. When his tongue entered my mouth, I tasted the beer he had been drinking. It was strong and tasty. As the passion between us became more intense, I felt my nails dig into his skin. The area between my legs was on fire and I wanted him.

I grabbed his shirt and started to unbutton it. He grabbed me and stopped me. "No," he said into my mouth.

Instead, I grabbed his pants and undid the zipper.

"Sadie," he said, grabbing me again.

"Come on, Ethan."

"I want to kiss you all night."

My lips were on his again, devouring him. "Make love to me."

He ignored me and kept kissing me.

"Come on."

He broke the embrace, kissing me gently on the corners of my mouth. "Why do you want to sleep with me?"

"Because you're hot. Why else?"

"Well, I want more than that."

"Ethan," I begged.

"You aren't logical right now. It's not going to happen."

"I think you are sweet and sexy. Sometimes you are insane, but you are still a gentleman. You make me feel safe. When you kiss me, I feel like you care about me, would die for me. Even though I met you in a bar, I don't think you are like other guys. You are different, amazing."

He looked into my eyes, saying nothing. Suddenly, he picked me up and carried me into my bedroom, laying me on the surface. I reached for his clothes again, trying to take them off but he wouldn't let me. He pinned my hands back.

"We aren't having sex tonight. But I do want to kiss you, taste your skin, and be with you. That's the most you are getting out of me."

"Okay."

He released my hands and crawled on top of me, kicking of his shoes. His hands glided across my skin but he didn't touch my breasts or the area between my legs. Every touch was gently and loving, like he praised my every feature. When his lips kissed me, every movement was precise. Ethan would break apart and look me in the eyes, staring at me for a moment before he kissed me again, loving me with this tongue. His erection was constantly against my thigh, reminding me how much he wanted me. It took all his strength to resist my begging and pleas. It made me respect him even more. He could have me whenever he wanted me, but instead, he wanted to kiss me, running his fingers through my hair. I wanted to feel his bare chest against my hands but I didn't reach for his shirt. When I imagined him naked, I felt my body betray me, preparing me for an orgasm that wouldn't take place. I wanted to come but I knew Ethan wouldn't touch me there.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling my dress pull up. He didn't pull it down as he moved against me, his erection pressed against my clitoris. That was exactly where I wanted it. When Ethan felt my breathing change and my grip become tighter, he broke our kiss and looked down at me. He pressed his forehead against mine as he rocked into me, wanting to watch me come.

His gentle thrusts were enough to spark the tip of my dynamite. I was almost there and every thrust brought me closer. The memory of his naked body in combination with his delicious kiss had me burning. After another rock I was lost. I breathed into his mouth, practically gasping as it hit me like a bolt of lightning. My fingertips burned as my body shook, enjoying every ounce of pleasure. It exploded and made me weak, leaving me writing on the bed as he moved against me. Ethan just watched me, fascinated by my bout of exhilaration. When I was finished, he kissed me again, lightly pressing his tongue against mine.

Ethan continued to kiss me with passion, making me breathless and weak. He was the only man that could make me feel so satisfied and content. I already had an orgasm but my desire for sex wasn't quenched. I wanted him to be inside me, to feel his skin slid past mine. I wanted Ethan.

Sometime late into the night, Ethan stopped kissing me and lay beside me, his arms wrapped around me. I fell asleep then felt my clothes being torn from my body. When I opened my eyes, I was tucked under the covers.

Ethan kissed me on the forehead. "Good night."

I moaned, too tired to speak.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He closed the bedroom door then left my apartment, sliding the key under the door.

6

"Honey, how are the books?"

I looked at the inventory on my computer. "Good. It seems like people aren't really buying classics anymore. We sell more romance and young adult novels than anything else."

My dad nodded. "Maybe we should carry more and have a promotion."

I nodded. "That sounds like a good idea." I glanced at my computer on the counter and looked through the novels. We weren't doing extremely well, but good enough to support us from paycheck to paycheck. My mom and dad opened this store before I was even alive. Even though it was a lot of work, my dad refused to give it up.

"Did you see your brother yesterday?"

"Yeah."

"How's he?"

"Good. Thinks he might break up with Suzie."

He sighed in relief. "Good. That young lady is a little far-fetched."

"Yeah. I didn't care for her much either."

"I didn't even meet the girl and I already don't like her." He grabbed a box from the floor and started stacking the books on the shelf. The store was pretty small, but it had to be that way so we could afford rent. Anything bigger was inconceivable.

"Yeah. She's different."

My dad walked to the window and stared at the glass. "We need to clean this."

I stared at it. It looked fine to me. My dad always had a weird obsession with everything being ridiculously clean—spotless. I think he got it from my mom.

"So how was your weekend?"

I smiled. "Good."

He caught the look. "And what did you do?"

I tried to hide my smile but it wouldn't disappear. "I went out with the girls."

"And? I doubt that's the only reason why you're smiling."

I shook my head. "No, that's it." I felt bad for lying to my dad about Ethan but I wasn't ready to talk about it. He didn't call me the day after our date, and I wasn't sure where that left us. We just met but I felt like I was already in love with him. I just didn't want to pressure him into meeting my family. I wasn't sure what he wanted. He said he wanted something more, but he didn't say when so I didn't want to push it. And he wouldn't have sex with me. I knew there was a reason why.

My dad stared at me for a moment then looked back at the window. "Okay." He was tall like Jared and had the same dark hair. He had a little weight around his stomach, but he was fairly thin and in decent shape. He wore glasses that made him look a little older than he really was.

We were pretty dead that afternoon. Not a lot of customers came in during the day unless they were tourists. I never understood why people went book shopping when they traveled. They could buy the books at home or on Amazon. When the bell rang over the door, I was surprised that we had a customer. I closed my laptop and put it away. When I looked up, I felt my heart drop.

"Ethan?"

"Hey," he said with a smile. He placed a plastic bag on the counter. "I wanted to bring you lunch. I thought you might be here."

I glanced at my dad. He was staring at us with a grin on his face, shaking his head slightly. I had been caught in my lie.

"Uh—thanks."

He leaned over the counter and kissed me gently. "You look beautiful."

I looked down at my shirt. It was baggy and had the store logo on it. I definitely didn't feel appealing. When I looked at him, he had a serious expression on his face. I knew what he was thinking.

"Thank you," I said quickly.

He nodded. "You're getting better at this."

"Yeah."

"Can I see you tonight? I miss you."

His strong affection baffled me. I felt like we were already a couple—not that I minded. "Uh—well, I had dinner plans tonight."

"Oh, okay," he said. I could detect the sadness in his voice.

"Invite him along," my dad said.

Ethan turned around and looked at my father. "Hello. I'm Ethan." He shook his hand.

My father nodded to him then stepped back. "Sadie's father."

Ethan stiffed at his announcement. I felt so bad for him. He just walked into a snake pit that he never expected. My father was a great man, but I don't think Ethan was prepared for that.

"It's very nice to meet you," he said politely. "You have a great daughter."

"She's okay," my dad said.

Ethan laughed. "Now I know where she gets her sense of humor."

My dad nodded. "We're having dinner at the house. Join us."

"Thank you for the invitation. I'll be there."

I felt my heart race. I was not ready for this.

"Good," my father said. "I want to know the man that can make my daughter smile like that." He grabbed a box and carried it to the back of the store.

Ethan turned back to me and leaned over the counter. "Wasn't expecting that."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I never expected you to come here."

He smiled. "It's okay." He opened the bag. "You like sandwiches, right?"

"I eat anything." He handed me a sandwich wrapped in white paper.

"Good." He opened his and started to eat at the counter. "So, is it okay if I come to dinner tonight?"

"Well, I don't think we have a choice at this point."

"Do you want me to come?"

"Uh—yeah."

He caught my hesitation. "If you don't want me there, it's fine. We just met."

"It's not that."

"Then what?"

"I—I just don't want to scare you off. Meeting my family is a big deal. I don't want to pressure you."

He put down his sandwich. "You mean that?"

"Well, yeah."

He grabbed my face and kissed me. "I would love to meet your family, but under one condition."

"What?"

"You introduce me as your boyfriend."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah. I've fallen hard for you, Sadie. I did the moment I saw you in that bar."

I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. I couldn't believe that this gorgeous man had such strong feelings for me. Perhaps he felt the way I did. The feeling was there the moment we met. I had fallen hard for Ethan too. I was already in love with him. I really didn't know him, but it was true nonetheless. "What's your last name?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Benedict. Why?"

"I just realized I didn't know your last name."

He smiled. "What's yours?"

"Montague."

"That's beautiful."

"Thanks."

"We're getting there." Ethan grabbed his sandwich and started to eat it.

I unwrapped mine and watched him. I didn't have an appetite at the moment. "Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to have sex."

He stopped chewing for a moment while he stared at me. Then he swallowed his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "You do?" He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. His lips tasted sweet against my mouth. I felt a fire ignite with every caress of his tongue. I pulled away. "I'm very certain."

He smiled at me. "Let's see how tonight goes."

"Why? Come over after work."

He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them. A quiet moan escaped his lips. "You have no idea how much I want you, Sadie. You can't talk to me like that. At least not yet."

"Why are you apprehensive of me?"

"Like I said—I really care about you. I don't want to mess up what we have."

"We won't."

"We'll talk about it later." He grabbed his sandwich and continued to eat it. I ate mine while we stood at the counter. When we were done, he looked at his watch. "I have to go."

I sighed. I hated it when he left. I walked around the counter and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Now that I kissed him once, I didn't want to stop. I wanted him all the time. I couldn't wait until we were finally together. It would be the most amazing experience of my life.

Ethan ran his fingers through my hair as he kissed me. I could feel his body against my chest, strong and powerful. When I imagined him naked, I felt the arousal course through my limbs. An innocent goodbye kiss had escalated into a session of foreplay.

"Ah-hem," my father said as he cleared his throat.

Ethan pulled away quickly and dropped his hands. I felt my cheeks redden in embarrassment. We were getting hot and heavy just a second ago and my father watched the whole thing.

Ethan cleared his throat. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Montague."

"Likewise," my father said with a smile.

He turned to me. "I'll see you later, baby."

I smiled. "Bye."

"I'll see you at dinner," he said as he walked out the door. I watched him walk by until he disappeared from the sight of the windows. I had a huge smile on my face. I had a boyfriend. Ethan was my boyfriend. I loved him and I had a strong feeling that he loved me too.

My father smiled at me. "That was a nice suit."

I knew what my father was really asking. "He works on Wall Street."

He nodded in approval. "Does he know Jared?"

"I don't know. I've never asked. It's a big company."

"I'm excited to get to know him, Sadie."

"I think you'll like him."

"Well, now I know what you were smiling about all day."

I felt my cheeks blush. "Yeah."

7

I was sitting on the couch with Koku when Ethan knocked on the door. I jumped and ran to it, excited to see him. As soon as I saw his face, I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms.

He smiled at me. "You look happy to see me."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

I kissed him gently on the lips. "You taste good."

"I had a piece of pie on my break."

I kissed him again. "I don't think that was it."

Ethan moaned as he felt me kiss him. I ran my hands up his chest as I pulled him toward my bedroom. When he realized what I was doing, he broke away. "You're a vixen, you know that?"

I smiled. "So?"

"We don't have enough time."

"How much time do you need?" I asked with a laugh.

He laughed. "This is our first time together. I don't want it to be quick and over. I want to feel you everywhere, explore your body, make you come as many times as possible. I want you to sleep in my arms."

His words made me shiver. "Dinner is going to be so uncomfortable."

"Why?

"Because I'm going to think about jumping your bones the entire time."

He shook his head. "First you said you would never have sex with me and then four days later you can't wait a few hours."

"Well, what can I say? I find you incredibly handsome."

He stared at me. "I like what I'm hearing. And I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He stared at me with a serious gaze.

I knew he was waiting for me to accept his compliment, but I was having a hard time doing that. It was such a strong thing to say.

"Sadie, I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He cupped my face and looked into my eyes. "I mean it."

"Uh—thank you."

He shook his head. "Wrong answer."

"I just find that so hard to believe."

"Why? Have you seen you?"

I shrugged. "I look ordinary."

"Not at all. I'll convince you eventually. When I make love to you, you'll know that I mean it."

I bit my lip. "Ethan."

"Don't say my name like that," he snapped. "I have very little control right now."

"Good."

His eyes bore into mine. "Sadie," he warned.

"I'm sorry."

"Let's go to dinner. I want to come back as soon as possible."

"Me too. I can't wait any longer."

"Sadie, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?"

He sighed. "This is a really big deal. I don't want you to make a mistake."

"Why would it be a mistake?"

"I—I know you're a virgin."

I flinched at his words. "How do you know that?"

"I've been around, Sadie. I can tell. For one, you're really tight. And two, you came when I hardly did anything to you."

I looked away, embarrassed that he figured it out so easily.

"Please don't be ashamed. Do you have idea how hot that is? I want to take your virginity, Sadie. I really want to. But I can't do that unless I know you're sure. I care about you and I don't want to hurt you."

"That's why you wouldn't have sex with me the other night?"

He nodded. "I had to make sure that you were serious. Maybe we should wait a while."

"I don't want to wait. I've been waiting twenty-two years."

He stared at me. "And what were you waiting for?"

I was quiet for a moment. "The right guy."

"Am I the right one?"

"I think so."

"Sadie, if you aren't sure, we shouldn't do this."

I knew I loved Ethan. There was no doubt. Sometimes you just knew. The only problem was that I didn't know if he loved me in return. He said he had to have me when he saw me in that bar. And he already committed himself to me as my boyfriend. I think he did. "I'm sure."

He sighed. "Okay."

I smiled at him. "I want you to be my first. I've never been attracted to someone like I am to you. I've never felt this way about anyone."

He grabbed my face and kissed me. "I would be honored, Sadie."

"Good."

He growled. "Now I'm going to be thinking about this all night."

"So will I."

He growled again. "I'll make your legs shake, baby."

I smiled. "I like it when you call me that."

"Baby?"

I nodded.

"Good. I like it too."

"Well, let's go."

I opened the door and we left the apartment.

Ethan grabbed my hand. "Anything I need to know about, baby?"

"What do you mean?"

"About your family? What to say and what not to say?"

"No. They are pretty normal. Just be yourself."

"Okay."

"Don't be nervous."

"Easier said than done."

I pressed my body against him and placed a gentle kiss on his neck. "You'll be fine."

"I just feel awkward knowing I'm going to take your virginity tonight."

"Don't think about it."

"Are you kidding me? I found the most gorgeous girl alive and I get to be the first man she sleeps with. I'm just supposed to forget about it?"

I smiled. "I'm excited too."

We left the building and climbed into a cab. Ethan held my hand while we drove down the road. I leaned my head against his shoulder and he placed a kiss on my forehead. I snuggled even closer next to him. I still couldn't believe Ethan was my boyfriend. I met this guy in a bar and now he was mine. He was beautiful, sweet, sensitive, a dog lover, and he now he was my boyfriend.

When the cab stopped, Ethan paid and we climbed out. He wrapped his arm around my waist as we approached the entrance to the townhouse. It was petite but very beautiful. My father loved living in the city. He would never move.

I opened the door and we walked inside. Ethan still wore his suit because he came over right after work, so I hoped that would make my dad like him more. Ethan was obviously educated and successful like my brother was. I hoped that Jared and Ethan would get along. They might have even known each other already.

When we walked into the house, my father hugged me. "Hello, honey."

"Hey, Dad." He kissed me on the cheek then turned to Ethan. "Nice to see you again."

Ethan shook his hand. "Thank you for inviting me into your home."

"Well, any guy that is important to Sadie is welcome here."

He nodded. "Thank you."

"I have to go back into the kitchen. I don't want the tamales to burn."

"Do you need any help, Dad?" I asked.

"No, don't worry about it," he said as he walked into the kitchen.

I leaned toward Ethan. "He's obsessed with Mexican food. He cooks it at least three times a week—I'm serious."

He smiled. "I like Mexican food."

"Well, that's a relief. You're going to be getting a lot of it."

His eyes turned serious. "I hope so."

"Come on. I want you to meet my brother. He works on Wall Street too."

"He does? Who is he?"

"Jared Montague."

"Oh?"

I stared at the surprise on his face. "Do you know him?"

"Uh—yeah. We work on the same floor."

I smiled. "Great. That makes things easier."

Ethan became very quiet.

I pulled his hand and we walked into the living room. My brother was sitting on the couch, playing with his phone. I could tell by the angry expression on his face that he was talking to Suzie.

"You still haven't dumped her yet?"

He sighed. "No." He looked up at me then turned to Ethan. His stared at him for a long time but didn't say anything. Ethan didn't say anything either. It became very quiet.

Ethan found his voice first. "Hey."

My brother stared at him for a moment. "Yeah," he said with a nod.

Ethan put his hands in his pockets and looked around the room.

Jared rose to his feet and stared at Ethan. Then he walked away and disappeared into the kitchen.

I looked at Ethan. "What was that?"

"Uh, Jared and I aren't exactly friends."

"It seems like you hate each other."

"We just don't talk much."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

Ethan ran his fingers through his hair. I'd never seen him look so stressed out. "Nothing."

"Ethan, I know my brother better than anyone, and I know when he doesn't like someone. What's his problem with you?"

"Can we talk about this later, please?"

After seeing the desperate look on his face, I decided to drop it. "Okay."

"Thank you."

My father came into the dining room and placed the food on the table. "Dinner is ready, kids."

I smiled. He still treated me and Jared like we were children.

Jared set the table like he did when we were younger.

Ethan and I approached the table. He pulled out the chair for me before he sat down beside me. Since my father sat across from me, Jared sat across from Ethan. To say it was tense would be an understatement. Neither one of them looked at each other. My heart fell. The first time I really liked someone and my brother didn't like him. And Jared's opinion really mattered to me. I wanted to be with someone that could be close to my family. If I didn't solve this dispute between them, our relationship would never work.

My father ate his whole tamale in less than a minute. He was a fast eater. That's probably where I got it from. "So, do you and Jared know each other from work?" His question was directed at Ethan.

"Yeah. We work on the same floor."

My father nodded. "Well, that's ironic. Or is that how you and Sadie met?"

Ethan shook his head. "No. It's just a coincidence."

"So how did you meet my daughter?"

Ethan wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Well, I—"

"At a bar," Jared answered.

I glared at my brother. I wasn't sure why he was being rude by cutting off Ethan. It was very disrespectful even if he didn't like him.

"Yeah," Ethan added. "I saw her across the room and gave it my best shot."

I smiled at him. "And you were pretty convincing."

"I'm sure he's had a lot of practice," Jared said.

My father looked from Jared to Ethan but didn't say anything. "So, how long have you two been dating?" my father asked.

"For a few days," I answered. The question was directed at Ethan but I wanted to eliminate some of the heat he was taking. Ethan started to eat his food. Before this, he couldn't get a single bite in.

"Oh," my father said. "When you came by the store, it seemed like you had known each other for a while."

"No," I said. "But we had a connection really quickly."

He turned to Ethan. "Thanks for coming to dinner. If my daughter brought you here, she must really like you. It's never happened before."

Ethan glanced at me with soft eyes.

I smiled at him, not embarrassed that I never had someone I thought was worthy of meeting my family. Since he knew I was a virgin, I didn't feel so ashamed.

"I feel honored," he finally said.

Jared glared at him. "Do you really, or do you just say that to all of them?"

Ethan averted his gaze.

My father looked at Jared. "What's your problem, Jared? Treat our guest with respect."

Jared shook his head and continued to eat his food. My brother was generally nice to everyone he met. It took a lot to make him angry. The fact that he pretty much hated Ethan had me worried. Ethan must have done something pretty awful to elicit this response from him. We ate the rest of the meal in silence, which I was thankful for. When we were done, I grabbed the plates and took them into the kitchen. I started to wash them then Ethan came in to help me a moment later. We didn't say anything to one another. I could tell Ethan was upset by the look in his eyes.

When we were finished, we walked back into the living room where my dad and brother were watching television on the couch. Ethan sat down and I sat right next to him. Jared glanced at us then looked back the television. I held Ethan's hand in my own but it felt ice cold. There was definitely something on his mind.

We sat together for an hour watching television until I decided it was best if we left. This evening was extremely awkward. I wanted to end it as soon as possible. "Well, we're going to head out." When we stood up, Jared did as well.

"Me too," he said with a serious look.

My father hugged Jared then he hugged me. "I'll see you kids later." And then, to my surprise, he hugged Ethan. "You're always welcome here."

Ethan smiled but the happiness didn't reach his eyes. "Thank you."

I smiled at their interaction.

We walked to the front door then closed the door behind us. Jared appeared a moment later. He walked up to me, ignoring Ethan completely. "I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

He glared at Ethan then returned his look to me. "You can guess."

Ethan shifted his weight and looked uncomfortable.

"Why can't you tell me now? It's obvious that you two dislike each other for some reason. What's the problem?"

Ethan sighed. "I don't dislike him. He dislikes me."

Jared crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't want you to see him anymore."

"What? Why?" I asked.

Jared leaned closer to me. "This guy that you are so hung up on is a liar, a pig, a womanizer, and an asshole. He's just going to screw you over like he's done to every chick he's nailed. You know how many girls in the office he's fucked and never spoken to again? Do you know how many women he's slept with? I don't even know the guy that well and I know that. He picks up chicks in bars, sleeps with them, then acts like they don't exist. He isn't good for you."

I felt my heart fall. I suspected that Ethan wasn't perfect, but that was pretty bad. That was my first impression of him, but after the way he treated me, I thought I was wrong.

Jared looked at me. "You haven't slept together yet, have you?"

I shook my head.

"That's why he's still around." He glared at Ethan. "But I can't believe you stooped so low as to come to my family's house just to fuck my sister." He clenched his fists at his side.

I grabbed his arm. "There will be no fighting, Jared."

My brother ignored me.

I turned to Ethan. He refused to meet my look. I could tell by the way he was acting that everything my brother said was true. "Ethan?"

"Yes?"

"Is Jared telling the truth?" I knew Ethan wasn't a liar, or at least that's what he said, so I waited for his response.

"Yes," he said quietly.

I stared at him for a moment. "So you just use women?"

He nodded.

Jared nodded his approval.

I tried to control my racing heart. "So, when you met me—"

Ethan finally looked at me. "No, Sadie. Not at all. I meant every word I said to you."

I said nothing for a moment. "Were you just trying to trick me?"

"No," he said firmly. "Absolutely not."

Jared shook his head. "Don't listen to him, Sadie. He's lying."

Ethan placed his hand on my arm. "Sadie, you know I'm not lying. If I were, the other night would have gone much differently."

He didn't have sex with me. He could have had me then left but he didn't. He made it clear that he wanted to know I was completely sure about it.

"Sadie, everything Jared said is true. That was me. But everything changed when I met you—I changed."

Jared shook his head. "You changed in four days?"

Ethan ignored him. "As soon as I saw you, I knew that I wanted something else with you. I wouldn't have asked you to coffee, taken you to dinner, watched a movie with you, and wouldn't have come to your father's house if I didn't care about you—and want to be with you. And I would have done things differently if I felt otherwise."

I stared at him, unsure what to say.

He sighed. "Baby, please give me a chance. I know that's hard because I used to be an asshole, but I'm different. I feel different with you. I—I don't want to lose you. I'm committed to you. I don't want anyone else."

I still said nothing.

Jared glared at him. "Get the hell out of here."

Ethan didn't move. "Baby? Baby, if you want me to leave I will. If you don't want me in your life anymore, that's fine. I don't blame you. But I'm not lying to you and I never have. Please give me a chance to prove that to you."

"Save it," Jared snapped.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I believe you."

Jared's mouth fell open. "What? He's lying to you, Sadie."

"I don't think he is," I said as I held Ethan's hand.

"He's just saying that until he gets what he wants," my brother said.

I wanted to tell my brother how Ethan refused to have sex with me but that was such a personal conversation. I didn't know what to do. "Jared, just trust me on this one."

My brother shook his head. "And even if he is telling the truth, he's just going to go back to his old ways when he gets tired of you, Sadie. Why do you only pick the bad ones? What is it with you?"

"Jared, thank you for looking after me, but—"

Jared turned away and walked down the street, ignoring me completely. I watched him walk away with a broken heart. My brother and I were so close. I wished this wasn't happening. But I believed that Ethan was telling the truth, and I loved him. I wanted to give this relationship a try. He made me happy, happier than I had ever been. And the fact that he refused to have sex with me until he knew I was ready was enough proof for me. If that's all he wanted from me, then we would have fucked already.

Ethan wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. "I don't want this to happen to you. I don't want you to lose your brother over this."

"I could never lose him. He loves me."

"Well, I don't want your relationship to change."

"And I don't want to lose you."

"Your brother is more important than me, Sadie."

"I'll talk to him."

"And say what?"

"That I know you're different. That I trust you. You aren't using me."

"And how are you going to convince him?"

"The truth."

"Won't that be awkward?"

"An awkward moment is better than losing you forever."

He sighed. "Are you sure?"

I pulled away. "Yes."

He smiled at me. "I'll do whatever I can to prove myself to you and your brother."

"You don't need to prove anything to me, Ethan."

He shook his head. "I don't deserve you."

"I think you do."

"Well, I'll prove it to your brother."

"That you may have to do. But let me talk to him first."

"Okay."

8

When we walked back into my apartment, I sat down on the couch. Koku jumped in my lap with a toy in his mouth. I hadn't been paying much attention to him for the past few days and I felt guilty about it. I grabbed the toy and threw it across the room. He fetched it and returned to my lap. Ethan sat beside me and leaned forward. He stared at the blank television screen for a long time.

"Baby, I think it's best if we wait."

I felt my heart accelerate. I really wanted this to happen between us. I'd been waiting my whole life to be with someone in a passionate moment. All the other men didn't get my blood pumping or my hormones raging. Ethan was the first guy who did that. "Why?"

"In light of what happened with Jared, I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, what if he never accepts me and you give yourself to me—then we just break up? Shouldn't you be with someone that you have a better chance with? Or someone that is going to mean more to you?"

I crawled into his lap and looked at him. "Ethan, I want it to be you."

"Why? You could have anyone you want, Sadie."

I shook my head. "Well, fortunately for you, you're the only one I want."

"I respect you too much to take something so pure then disappear."

"Why would you disappear?"

"Because you'll leave me."

"Ethan, I've dated guys before. I've met a ton of them, but I've never felt this way for someone before. You make me dizzy and nervous. I want to be with you all the time. I've never seen someone so attractive. You are different."

"I'm flattered."

"And I—"

He looked at me. "What?"

I knew I loved him but it was too soon to tell him. I didn't want to scare him off. I suspected that he felt the same way but what if I was wrong? I didn't want to ruin what we had. "I really care about you."

"You just met me."

I shrugged my shoulders. "You're the only person that makes my blood rush to my head. I don't need to be around you for a year to understand how much I want to be with you. What does it matter? Sometimes you just know, Ethan. I know."

He stared at me. "You're sure?"

"Yeah."

He smiled. "That makes me really happy."

"It does?"

"Yes, because I feel the same way."

I felt my heart throb at his words. I pressed my forehead against his and looked into his eyes. He placed his hands on my waist and slipped his fingers under my shirt, feeling the skin.

"You are amazing, Sadie. I knew it the moment I saw you."

I was so happy that I thought I would explode. I was different than the other women he'd been with. I was special. Even though I was ordinary and plain, he thought I was extraordinary and beautiful. And he wanted me. "I'm glad that I met you in that bar."

"Me too." He rubbed his nose against mine. "And I don't ever want to lose you—ever."

"You won't."

"What about your brother?"

"He'll come around. When he sees us together, he'll know that you've changed."

"Thank you for believing in me."

"It wasn't hard."

He placed a gentle kiss on my lips then pulled away. "Sadie, I really want to make love to you."

"Good."

"And you're sure that you want it to be me?"

"Definitely."

He smiled. "I was hoping you would say that."

He wrapped his arms around my waist then carried me into my bedroom. He closed the door with his foot so Koku wouldn't bother us. When he laid me on the bed, he leaned over me. It was dark in the room but I could see him from the light coming through the window. I felt my heart accelerate when I realized what we were about to do. I had waited a long time for this moment. I was excited and nervous at the same time.

"We can stop anytime you want, baby."

"I know." I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. The kiss was gentle and sweet, and when his tongue touched mine, I moaned. I gasped for air as his touch made me aroused instantly. He was such a good kisser. I ran my fingers through his hair as he caressed my tongue with his. I grabbed his jacket then pulled it off his body. Then I unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. I ran my hands up his naked chest and felt the hills of his muscles. His chest was large and wide, making me feel small and weak. I sat up and grabbed his pants then yanked them off, removing his underwear at the same time. When I saw his erection, I moaned. His naked body was a sight to behold. He was strong and fit. Staring at his cock made me wet. I didn't know how I was going to fit it inside my body, but I knew I wanted to try. I reached out and grabbed his ass, feeling the muscles with my hands. I loved his ass.

"That's your favorite part, isn't it?" he said in between our kisses.

"I love all of it."

"I'm glad that you want me so much. I'm going to have to get you soaked if this is going to work."

"I think I already am."

He pressed his fingers against my clitoris and started to rub me gently. I immediately started to pant for him. His fingers slipped inside and massaged me with proficiency. His thumb continued to circle my clitoris. My threshold for an orgasm was really low, so I already felt one coming. The feel of his gloriously naked body on mine was so perfect and right.

"Ethan."

He rubbed me harder until I started to scratch his back. It exploded in the pit of my stomach, radiating everywhere. I panted loudly as I felt my mind become dizzy. My leaned my head back as I caught my breath. Ethan continued to kiss me. "I think you're ready, baby. I wanted to make you come just in case I couldn't during sex."

He stripped off my clothes while he kissed me everywhere. His lips trailed across my stomach and he even kissed me in the area between my legs. I never had a guy go down on me and it felt amazing. When he pulled away, he kissed my thighs then my breasts.

"You're so gorgeous, baby."

"Thank you."

He smiled. "Are you sure you want this?"

I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer to me. I wanted to feel him inside me. "Yes," I begged. "Please. I want you."

"Sadie, this will probably hurt. Almost every girl that I've deflowered said it was painful and cried. Your expectations probably won't be met. It may take a while for it to start feeling good." I processed his words but said nothing. I suspected it would hurt but I wasn't sure how much. Ethan stared at me, his eyes serious. "And everything will change. You're mine forever, Sadie. I'm not going to let you go after I make love to you."

"I don't want you to."

"Good. Because you won't be able to get rid of me."

"Ethan."

He leaned over me with my legs spread. "You are mine. Do you understand?"

I ran my hands down his back. "Yeah."

"Will you give me your virginity?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"I'm not going to wear a condom. I don't want your first time to be with one. I want it to be all me. I swear I'm clean and I'll pull out."

"Okay." I didn't really care at that point. I just wanted to feel Ethan inside me.

"I'm going to go really slow, baby. This will probably hurt. If it does, tell me to stop." He pressed his cock against my entrance and I felt the tip go in. Just that alone was a stretch. I immediately felt my body try to accommodate his large size. His thick head was bigger than I imagined. My nails dug into his back.

Ethan moaned as he moved further within me. I knew how tight I was. That probably felt really good to him. He was right. It was painful. He pushed inside me but my body would only give him so much room. It did feel good, but the pain was also there.

His forehead was pressed against mine, looking into my eyes. The closeness made feel better. I opened my legs wider, hoping that would help him slide in. It didn't. It was still an effort.

I grabbed his hips and pulled him further into me, wanting to take all of him already. The sooner he was inside, the sooner my body would adjust. When his entire shaft was finally in, I felt the tears burn under my eyes. I didn't want to cry when we made love. I wanted it to be a happy moment, not a painful experience.

Ethan didn't move when he was inside me, which I was grateful for. I needed a minute to adjust. His thumb circled my clitoris, making me aroused again. When I felt the pleasure from his hand, I felt myself relax around him slightly. It still hurt but I was getting used to the pain.

Ethan gently rocked into me one time. The movement made me gasp. He immediately stopped, kissing me gently. After a moment of rest, he did it again. I was stretched beyond my capacity, and I felt the burn and the tear. I kept my tears behind my eyes, wanting to get past it. Ethan started to rock into me at a gentle pace.

I felt a tear fall.

When Ethan saw it he stopped moving and kissed it away. "Do you want to stop?"

"No."

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"It's going to hurt no matter what. Keep going."

He stared at me for a long time before he started to move inside me again.

I scratched my nails down his back, whimpering quietly to myself. The tears continued to fall down but I tried to forget about them. The pain was blinding and couldn't be ignored. There wasn't much pleasure to be had. Ethan kissed my tears away, running his fingers through my hair. He tried to keep me calm, caressing me as much as possible, but there was little that he could do.

Finally, he pulled out and kissed me. "That's enough for now."

"You didn't come."

"How can I when I'm watching you cry?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I just hate causing you pain. I usually enjoy taking women's virginities. With you, I just feel like an asshole. Seeing you in pain makes me want to cry."

"It's okay, Ethan. It will just hurt for a little while."

He looked down at his cock. "You're bleeding. I'm going to wash up." He walked away then returned a few moments later.

"How long?"

"It will take a few times."

"I just want to get it over with."

"It'll take a few days."

"Can we just finish it tonight?"

"That's a lot of pain."

"Let's just power through it."

"Sadie, there's no rush."

"I want it to feel good, Ethan."

"It will, baby. Just be patient. We'll take a break then try again."

"Okay." I closed my eyes and nestled in his arms. I fell asleep at some point then woke up to him lying beside me. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes wide open. "Let's try again," I whispered.

"It's only been a few hours. It's going to hurt again."

"It's fine."

"Are you sure? Now you are going to be sore too."

"Let's just do it."

"This is romantic," he said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry."

"When it starts to feel good, I will make you feel things you never felt before." He climbed on top of her then moved himself inside of her gently. She cried again like she thought she would. The pain was throbbing and evident. Ethan went as slow as possible and tried to limit the damage, but his large size made it impossible to be gentle. After a while, it didn't hurt as much and she stopped crying. It still didn't feel right. Without coming, he pulled out and lay beside her. "You need another break."

"It didn't hurt that much this time."

"I'm glad. Next time it will start to feel good."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god."

Ethan walked into the bathroom and washed up again. When he came back, he lay on the bed beside me and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry that this wasn't what you were expecting."

"Please don't apologize, Ethan. It's not your fault. It was going to hurt no matter what."

"But my larger than average size didn't help."

"I'm sure I'll appreciate it later," I said with a smile.

He rubbed his nose against mine. "I hope so." He brought his hand to the area between my legs and started to massage me, making me relax and feel better. I fell asleep again then woke up at some unearthly hour. When I looked at Ethan, he was asleep.

"Ethan?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Let's try again."

He opened his eyes and blinked them a few times. He already had a boner so he was ready to go. He crawled on top of me then leaned over me. First, he rubbed the area between my legs, making me wet. He inserted himself within me. This time, his entrance wasn't nearly as painful. He sucked my bottom lip then kissed me gently. As he slid inside of me, I felt my skin prickle. My eyes were absent of tears. When my body relaxed around him, I started to feel good. "Ethan."

When Ethan thrust into me a little harder, I knew he felt the difference. My nails weren't scratching him nearly as hard and I was rocking with him, enjoying the feel of him moving in and out of me. His arms started to shake as made love to me, feeling my tightness.

He started to move within me slowly. I felt him reach all the way back to my cervix and out my entrance over and over. Ethan ran his fingers through my hair while he pressed his forehead against mine. He looked into my eyes as he made love to me. Every inch of him felt

incredible.

Ethan kept biting his lip while he moved inside of me. I knew he was trying not to come so soon. I grabbed his lower back and pulled him further into me.

"Harder."

He moaned. "I can't. You feel too good right now." He placed his hand over my clitoris and rubbed me while he slid in and out of me. The extra stimulus had me shaking.

"I'm about to come," I whispered.

"I'm going to be the first man to make you come like this. Come for me, baby."

I stretched my legs wider apart as he moved inside me. He picked up his pace and moved with more aggressive thrusts. My legs were shaking as the orgasm rocked my body. It felt so good, inexplicable. It wasn't the same pleasure I felt when he just used his hand. It was different, tantalizing.

He continued to move inside me. He kissed my lips then my neck, worshiping me with his touch. I felt aroused again. All the pain I felt before was worth feeling this. Sex was so amazing. Why I had waited so long, I'll never understand. I didn't want it to end.

He parted my lips with his tongue and breathed into my mouth. The feel of his hands on my body made me shake. I couldn't believe I'd waited so long to finally have sex. What the hell was I thinking? I could do this every day. I felt every inch of his skin with my hands and moaned as I explored the muscles of his body. He was the sexiest man I had ever seen. I couldn't believe that he was my first. I couldn't believe that he wanted to change for me. That he saw me for who I am inside the bar. Not just some ordinary girl, but someone he adored.

Every few minutes, Ethan would stop for a moment before he continued to move inside me. I knew why.

"Baby, this has never felt so good before."

"That's because I'm so tight. I'll stretch out like everyone else eventually."

He moaned. "No, it's because you're special and amazing—you're mine."

I ran my nails down his back, my heart throbbing at his words.

He bit his lip, trying to stay calm. He grabbed my legs and pinned them further back. Then he leaned over me and thrust deep inside. I felt him expand even more, and I started to shake. It was here. I felt it set my entire body on fire.

He bit his lip while he watched me.

When I felt the throb disappear from the flesh between my legs, I stopped squeezing his arms so tightly. I wouldn't be surprised if I left a bruise. To make up for my savage grip, I ran my fingers through his hair. Judging by the way he was shaking and his heavy breathing, I knew he couldn't last much longer. He stopped himself from coming before me, but now he deserved to let go. "Come, Ethan."

His breathing increased as he rocked into me. He wrapped his hand around my neck and held onto me. His body stiffened after he pumped into me a few times. When he pulled out, he released himself onto my stomach, moaning loudly. His forehead was still pressed to mine. He kissed me on the forehead then moved his lips to my mouth. "You okay, baby?"

"God, yes."

He laughed. "I didn't hurt you?"

"Definitely not."

He pulled away and looked down. "You stopped bleeding."

When I looked down, I saw the absence of blood on his dick. "I'm relieved."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

He rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom. When he returned, his dick was clean and he held a roll of toilet paper. He started to clean me up, but I steadied him.

"I can do it."

He pushed me back. "Just relax." He cleaned up the area then threw the refuse in the garbage. "Are you in pain?"

"No. I'm really not." There was concern in his eyes. "Ethan, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I smiled. "Yes."

He sighed. "Okay." He opened the bedroom door and let Koku come into the room. "We've been ignoring him lately."

"Thank you."

He crawled into bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me. His hand reached between my legs and he started to rub me gently. It wasn't in a sexual way, and it felt relaxing. The smell of his skin and the feel of his warm body made me feel safe. I was so happy that I found Ethan and he made me happier than I had ever been.

Ethan kissed me on the head then pulled me to his chest. I lay on top of him and felt the rise and fall of his wide chest. He ran his fingers through my hair while he closed his eyes. Koku crawled under the covers, lying right next to Ethan. He sighed loudly then curled up into a ball. It felt like we were a family.

I'd just lost my virginity and it felt so good. I didn't have any regrets. It took a while before the pleasure was more prevalent than the pain, but it was worth it. "I can't believe I waited so long."

He opened his eyes and looked at me. His expression was dark and serious. "I'm glad that you did."

I ran my hand across his chest. "Me too."

"You're mine, Sadie. I mean it."

"I know."

"Every inch of your skin belongs to me exclusively."

I laughed. "I get it, Ethan."

"I'm being serious."

"I know."

"I want you to go on birth control. I hate condoms."

"Okay."

"You'll get it taken care of tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"And I'll get you my papers too."

"Your papers?"

He raised an eyebrow. "So you know I don't have an STD."

"Well, it's a little late, don't you think?"

He smiled. "I'll still give them to you."

"Your word is good enough."

He stared at me blankly. "Why do you trust me so much?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

He shrugged. "After what your brother said, I don't know how you can believe me so easily. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you do, but it still surprises me."

"You may not have always been the best guy, but I know you aren't a liar, Ethan. As long as you never lie to me, we'll be fine."

"Really?" he asked with a smile.

"That's all I want."

"Done."

"And you better not cheat on me."

His smile disappeared. "I'm not like that, Sadie. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Good."

"You never have to worry about that."

I cuddled next to him. Koku leaned over and licked my nose. "Koku!"

He whimpered.

"What's wrong with him?" Ethan asked.

"He likes to cuddle when we sleep."

Ethan grabbed the dog and placed him on his chest, right next to me. I wrapped my arm around Koku and held him next to my neck.

"There," Ethan said.

"Perfect," I whispered.

"I don't want him to think I'm taking his mother away from him."

"Too late."

He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and set his alarm then returned it to the table. He closed his eyes while his hand rested on my back. I felt so comfortable sleeping with my boyfriend and my little dog. I had never been pleased so thoroughly or ever been so happy.

9

When Ethan left for work the next morning, both Koku and I wanted to cry. My dog whimpered at his feet as he said goodbye, and I held onto Ethan, refusing to let go. Now that I slept with him, I felt obsessed with him. That tight ass was all I could ever think about.

"I'll see you later, baby," he said as he kissed me. "I've really got to get to work."

I sighed. "Okay."

He smiled. "I'll see you soon."

I kissed him again. "Okay."

After he left, I went to work and did the inventory for the store. My dad asked a few questions about Ethan, but didn't pry too much. He wasn't extremely nosey, which I liked about him. I was surprised he didn't ask about the obvious dispute between Ethan and Jared. I really want my brother to accept Ethan. I was in love with the guy. I didn't want to lose him.

When I got home that night, I waited for Ethan to call or text me. I stared at the phone like a crazy person. Koku sat next to me and stared at the phone too. I could tell that my dog was just as obsessed with Ethan as I was. I sighed when he didn't call. I was having people over and I wanted to invite him but I didn't want to come off as too needy.

I started cooking the chicken wings and fried cheese sticks and put them on the table. As soon as I was done, there was a knock on the door.

When I opened it, Jared and Alex were standing on the threshold. Jared was holding a pack of beer. We stared at each for a moment before he walked inside. I feared that he wouldn't come over after what happened the night before, but Jared always came over even after the worse of fights.

Alex looked at me, eyeing my tight sweater and leggings. "Hey, you look nice."

"Oh, thanks," I said awkwardly.

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. "How are you?"

I smiled. "Good. How are you?"

"I've been better."

I wanted to ask him what he meant by that but I decided to leave it alone.

"I'm starving," Jared said as he opened his bottle of beer and walked into the living room.

"So, read anything good lately?" Alex asked. He wore a loose fitting sweater and plain jeans. His blond hair contrasted against his blue eyes. He was a good-looking guy and very sweet, but I never felt anything for him. If I gave him a chance, I might like him, but I never wanted to. And now that I had Ethan, there was no possibility of that ever happening.

Now that my brother said Alex was practically in love with me, I noticed the way he stared at me and how he was different around me. He always acted like I was the only person in the room. Whenever we went out, he always looked after me and insisted on walking me home. I thought he was just being a nice guy, but maybe he wasn't.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "No, I haven't had the time. I applied to a few writing jobs though."

His face broke out in a grin. "That's great, Sadie."

"I hope it works out."

"It will. Don't worry about it. You're amazing. Someone is going to scoop you up."

"Thanks." I fidgeted with my hair then averted my gaze. I moved into the living room and sat on the couch. Alex sat right beside me. We watched the football game for a while and Alex sat very close to me. I didn't mind the touch, but now that I had a boyfriend, I felt extremely self-conscious. I flinched when my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I smiled when I saw the caller.

"Hey," I said happily.

"Hey, baby. What are you doing?"

"I'm having people over to watch the game."

"Cool," he said. He was quiet for a moment. I could feel the awkward silence.

"Come over."

"Really?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah, really."

"Alright. I'll be there soon, baby."

"Okay."

I hung up the phone and returned it to my pocket.

Alex was staring at me. "So, I heard you have a boyfriend?"

I couldn't stop smiling. "Yeah."

His eyes looked hollow and his lips lifeless. "Oh. So you like him?"

"I more than like him."

He nodded, but didn't seem pleased by my words at all. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What are we doing now?"

"In private."

I looked at my brother. He was drinking from his beer while he watched the game. "Uh, okay. We can go out in the hall."

"Let's just go in your room. I don't want people to overhear us." He rose from the couch and walked down the hallway. Reluctantly, I followed him. When we were in my room, he shut the door behind us.

"What's this about?" I asked. Alex and I were close, but he never pulled me aside to talk to me.

He sat at the end of my bed and patted the seat next to him. I sat down beside him.

He sighed. "Jared told me about this guy, Sadie. He sounds like an ass. I just don't want you to get hurt."

I rolled my eyes. "Ethan is a great guy. Don't worry, Alex."

He shook his head. "You deserve to be with someone who treats you right. I doubt this guy can give you what you need."

"Well, he does."

"You just met him, Sadie."

"What does that matter?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "You already took him to meet your dad. Come on, don't you see how odd this sounds? This is moving too fast."

"Well, it's my relationship," I snapped.

Alex was quiet for a moment. "I'm not trying to make you mad or tell you what to do. I'm just worried about you. You deserve the best, and I want to make sure you get it."

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine—really. I admit that Ethan and I have moved a little fast, but it feels right. Don't worry about me."

"I can't stop worrying about you."

I stared at him. "Alex, I really want you and Jared to like him. Give him a chance."

"Give me a chance."

"What?"

"Nothing."

We said nothing for a long moment. He grabbed my hand and held it within his. "You don't deserve any kind of pain, Sadie. Please be logical about this."

I heard a knock on the front door and wondered if Ethan was there. Jared would let him in. I really wanted to run into his arms but I couldn't just ignore Alex like that. He was just trying to look after me. "There is no such thing as logical when it comes to love."

"You're confusing infatuation with love. What you have with Ethan is infatuation. There's nothing there."

"I know what I feel, Alex. Please drop it."

He didn't release my hand.

"Give him a chance. Please, Alex."

The bedroom door opened and Ethan came into the room. He stared at Alex with hatred spewing from his eyes. I had never seen Ethan look like that before. He was normally so calm and collected. When he saw our joined hands, I quickly pulled away. I knew this looked bad—really bad.

Ethan advanced toward me then grabbed my face and kissed me hard. He fell to his knees at the foot of the bed and ran his hands over my body. As soon as his lips touched mine, I felt the burn between my legs. This man could get me hot without even trying. When he pulled away, he kissed me on the head. He glared at Alex before he rose to his feet then walked toward the door.

"Leave this open," he snapped. He left the bedroom, leaving Alex and I alone.

Alex was quiet for a moment. "Well, he seems—nice."

I tried not to laugh. "I've never seen him act that way."

"Well, he makes a good first impression."

"In his defense, I'm in my bedroom with some guy he doesn't know. And the bedroom door was closed. Plus, I was holding your hand."

"And your brother is in the next room. I find it unlikely that something would be happening between us if you knew he was coming over. Sounds like he has trust issues."

I didn't know what to think. Ethan was like a possessive, out of control, cave man when he came into my room. His jealousy was actually kinda hot. "He's just staking his claim."

"Is that really necessary?"

"Well, you are trying to convince me to break up with him so I think he's right on the money." I rose to my feet and Alex followed me. "I appreciate your concern, Alex, but I can take care of myself. I trust Ethan and he makes me happy. Please be supportive."

He sighed. "I'll try."

"Thank you."

When I walked into the living room, Ethan was sitting on the couch watching the television. Jared was on the other sofa. They weren't speaking to each other. When I walked by Ethan to sit next to him, he pulled me into his lap.

"Hey, baby," he whispered.

"Hey."

"I missed you today."

"I missed you too."

He brought his lips close to my ear. "Do I need to kill that fucker?"

I kissed him. "No."

Ethan blatantly glared at Alex then returned his gaze to me. "If he touches you again, I'll kill him."

"What's gotten into you?" I hissed.

"I told you last night that everything would be different. I warned you. You're mine—mine."

"I like being yours."

"Good. You should get used to it."

Koku jumped on the couch and sat next to us. He had a bone in his mouth.

I looked at Ethan. "Are you trying to make my dog fat?"

"What? It was on sale."

I looked at the bone he held. It was huge. It probably weighed as much as his head. "You couldn't get a smaller one?"

He shrugged. "Maybe." He patted Koku on the head. "But I knew he wanted a manly bone."

"My dog is going to start liking you more than me."

"Start?" he teased.

"You're lucky you have such a nice ass."

"You do too."

"You looked?"

"Oh yeah I looked," he whispered. "I looked all night."

I rubbed my nose against his. "I hope you look again tonight."

He smiled at me. "That sounds tempting."

"Hey, lovebirds," Jared snapped. "I'm trying to watch the game."

"We aren't in the way," I said.

"It's still distracting," my brother said.

I rolled my eyes then climbed off Ethan's lap. He moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. He glared at Alex for a long time before he watched the television. I tried to ignore his possessiveness. I secretly enjoyed it, but I didn't want to cause drama with my brother and his friend. Koku walked onto Ethan's lap and chewed his bone happily. I stared at the traitor. My phone went off in my pocket and I looked at it. My friends wanted to meet for drinks the next day. I hadn't told them much about Ethan, and I knew they were getting frustrated being in the dark.

I put my phone away and watched the game. The men ate every bite of food on the table and drank all the beer. Ethan never left my side or pulled his touch away. He was stuck to me like a magnet.

He ran his fingers through my hair then leaned close to me. "I like what you're wearing."

"It's just leggings and a baggy sweater," I said sarcastically

His eyes looked hungry. "You still look good." His hand rested on my thigh and felt the smooth material of my clothes. "I want to take them off."

"Well, that will have to wait."

He bit his lip then looked away. I loved watching him do that. "You're so hot."

He smiled. "Thank you. But there's no comparison."

I snuggled next to his chest while we watched the game. When it was finally over, Jared and Alex rose to their feet. I was disappointed that they didn't talk to Ethan the entire time. I was surprised Ethan didn't say anything, but perhaps it was better if nothing was said. For now, Ethan was just proving that he really did care about me and he intended to stick around. Without that belief, Jared would never hear him out.

When I said goodbye to Jared, he didn't hug me like he usually did. When Alex moved to hug me, Ethan pulled me closer to him, giving him a violent warning with just his expression. Alex stepped back and nodded to me.

"Good night, Sadie."

"Bye, Alex."

When I shut the door, I looked at Ethan. "Why are you acting like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like a crazy asshole."

He glared at me. "You're mine. Alex is eye fucking you every time he looks at you. Your pussy is reserved for me only. That fucker needs to understand that." His anger made me step back.

"He's just a friend, Ethan. If I wanted to date him, I would have done it a long time ago."

"That's not the fucking point. I'm the man that makes love to you. I'm your boyfriend, and I'm the only man that gets to hug you and hold your hand. If he doesn't get that, I'll beat the shit out of him."

"Get over yourself. I hug my friends just like I hug my family. You may as well deal with it."

His eyes lit up in flames.

"You're being totally unreasonable and I'm not putting up with it. I can hug whoever the fuck I want to hug."

"I don't think so."

"Well, I couldn't care less."

His anger was still evident. My little speech didn't dissuade him whatsoever.

"Nothing is going on between us. He doesn't have feelings for me."

"Yeah right. What were you talking about in your bedroom, then?" He waited for me to respond.

"You."

"That's what I thought. It's not about a guy hugging you. It's the fact that he clearly wants to fuck you that bothers me."

"You're wrong."

"No, I'm not," he snapped.

"But he's not going to try anything. You can calm down. I don't understand where this behavior is coming from. You flipped out at the bar when my married friend came over to say hello to me, but you apologized and said you would stop that behavior. Now you're acting insane."

"First of all, those are two completely different situations. There is no doubt that Alex wants to be more than friends with you. I don't appreciate you spending time alone with him in your bedroom. That would piss anyone off." His breathing was deep. "And everything is different now. I already told you that."

"How?"

He pressed his face against mine. "I don't do relationships because I don't care about anyone but myself. But with you, I feel completely different. You are everything to me, Sadie. And after you gave me your virginity, I was a goner. You're mine. Mine. I don't want you with anyone but me—ever. That's it. And if anyone tries to take you away, tries to make a move, I'll kill them."

My eyes widened in shock. "You sound crazy."

"That's because I am crazy." He pushed me against the couch and cupped my face. "When it comes to you, I'm not sane. When I saw you sitting in that bar, your beautiful legs showing and your tits popping out, I wanted to fuck your brains out, but as soon as I heard you open your mouth, I wanted to know everything about you. Now that I have you, I don't want anyone else. You're stuck with me—whether you like it or not."

I felt my spine shiver. "Ethan."

He kissed my lips. "Your brother will accept me. If he doesn't, it changes nothing. I'm not going anywhere. But I will do everything that I can to change his mind."

"How did I get so lucky?"

His eyes softened. "I won the lottery. You just got a free ticket."

I smiled. "I kinda like your jealousy and possessiveness."

"You just said I was crazy."

"I like crazy," I said. "But please tone it down around my family. I don't think that's going to make my brother like you. Alex would never try anything. I made it clear you're the only one I want."

He said nothing while he stared at me.

"Ethan, just do this for me. You can be a crazy asshole sometimes, but just don't do it to my family."

He still said nothing.

I sighed. "If this behavior continues, we're done."

He clenched his jaw. "I'll try. But if he touches you, I'll kill him."

"It's okay if he hugs me."

"No."

"Ethan."

He was quiet for a moment. "Fine."

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. His lips parted my mouth and his tongue slipped inside. Now that we were alone, I really wanted to be with him. I wanted to make love again. I grabbed his jacket and pulled it off then unbuttoned his shirt. He grabbed my hands and steadied them.

"Sorry, baby. Not tonight."

"What?"

He looked at me with apologetic eyes. "I made you bleed last night. Give your body some time to heal."

"I don't want to wait. The last time we did it, it felt good."

He smiled. "I don't either but I don't want to hurt you. I never want to cause you pain."

"It's fine, really. It doesn't hurt."

"No."

"Ethan," I begged.

"Don't make this difficult for me."

"Well, I'm gonna." I took off my shirt then tossed it on the couch. I unclasped my bra and dropped it to the ground.

Ethan stared at my bare tits with a hungry expression. He stepped closer to me then placed his hands on my breasts, massaging them gently. "You're a bitch, you know that?"

"And you're an asshole."

He squeezed my breasts then pinched the nipples slightly. "Stop seducing me."

"I want to have sex."

"Yeah, I picked up on that," he said sarcastically. He lowered his hands and pressed my chest against his. "And I want to break you in but I don't want to hurt you."

"Break me in? Like a horse?"

He smiled. "Yeah. Your pussy is so small and unstretched. It's going to take some time for you to get used to me."

"Well, let's start."

"But I don't want to hurt you in the process."

"Let's just try. If it hurts, we'll stop.

He rubbed his nose against mine. "Stop teasing me, baby. Fucking you is all I ever think about. I didn't get anything done at work today because I kept thinking about it."

"I don't want to tease you. I want to please you."

He moaned. "You should be a lawyer. You can be very persuasive."

"Well, I can't take off my bra in court."

"If you did, you would win every case."

I pulled away and started to walk to my bedroom. Ethan watched me for a moment then followed behind me. When we were in my room, Koku followed us. Ethan grabbed the bone from his mouth then threw it in the living room. When my dog chased it, Ethan shut the door.

"He's cute, but he's really stupid."

"Hey!"

He smiled. "Don't worry. I love Koku." He grabbed my waist then turned me around, pressing his chest against my back. His lips kissed my neck as his hands squeezed my breasts. I felt his erection pressed against my back. Ethan grabbed the rim of my pants and pulled them down. When I got off work, I went shopping and bought new underwear. I knew Ethan liked the black thong I was wearing because he moaned. "Damn."

I heard him unbutton his pants and pull them down. He pressed against my ass.

"Your ass is—damn."

"Nothing compared to yours."

"I beg to differ." He pulled down his shorts then pulled off his shirt. He grabbed the rim of my thong then pulled it down. He moaned again when he saw my bare ass. "All mine."

"Yeah."

Slowly, he inserted his fingers inside me and massaged me. His other hand rested on my clitoris and he rubbed the flesh. I was already panting and moaning for him. Ethan grabbed my leg and placed it on the bed, opening me wider. He glanced at the mirrors on my closet and moaned. "I love mirrors."

"You just like watching yourself fuck me."

"That might have something to do with it." He continued to rub me until I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Ethan, please."

He pulled out his finger then turned me around. He laid me on the bed then crawled on top of me. His chest was wide and prominent. I loved being dominated by his large form. He was thick and heavy. He separated my legs with his own then inserted himself within me.

"Tell me if it hurts, baby."

I gripped his shoulders as he slid inside. "It doesn't. God, it doesn't."

"Good." He moved inside me and pressed his forehead against mine. "How is this for you?"

I moaned as I scratched his back.

"That's what I wanted to hear."

I rocked my hips from below and moved him inside me quicker. I ran my fingers through his hair as I kissed him.

He thrust into me harder and it didn't hurt in the least. As he moved faster, it felt even better. I grabbed his ass and pulled him deeper inside me. When I felt him stretch me even wider, I bit my lip. I knew I was about to explode.

"Come on. I can't last long when I'm with you. You're too goddamn sexy."

His words sent me over the brink. I dug my nails into his skin, moaning for the entire ride. The pleasure circulated throughout my body and exploded between my legs. I started to scream his name.

I cupped his face as the burn started to dissipate. Everything still felt tender as he moved inside me. He kissed my forehead, rocking into me.

Ethan stiffened over me as he came. I kissed him while he started to shake. He moaned the entire time until he pulled out of me and released himself on my stomach. I didn't even think about using protection—again. When I looked down at him, I was relieved I wasn't bleeding.

He took a deep breath. "Wow."

"I know. I want to do it all the time now."

He smiled. "It's pretty amazing, huh?"

"Hell yeah."

"But this is the best I've ever had."

My eyes softened. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know, but it is. I can barely control myself when I'm with you. You have taken my heart, Sadie. I'm helpless in your embrace."

"The feeling is mutual, Ethan."

"I hope so."

"I want to do that every day."

He rubbed his nose against mine. "I will satisfy you to the best of my ability."

"I'll hold you to that."

He rose from the bed then grabbed some tissues from the bathroom. He cleaned himself off then wiped my stomach. "Are you going to the doctor tomorrow?"

I nodded. "I have an appointment."

"Good. I want to come inside you."

I felt my body shiver.

"I want to be the first man to be inside you."

"I do too."

He sat on the bed and was about to lay beside me when I touched his arm. "Can you get Koku?" At the sound of his name, he started whimpering by the door. I heard his paws scratch the door, begging to come inside.

He smiled. "How could I forget?" He opened the door and let my dog come inside. He jumped on the bed then sat at my feet. Ethan returned to the bed then lied beside me. We stared at each other as he ran his fingers through my hair. His blue eyes shined bright as he looked at me. I wasn't sure why he was so infatuated with me. He was such an upbeat and happy guy. I don't know why he even noticed me.

"Why me?" I asked. "You could have whoever you wanted."

He said nothing for a while. "You just know, Sadie. As soon as I heard you speak, I was lost. You are different than other girls. Most of them jump my bones at the first chance they get. That's all they want from me. But you were different. You are sweet, classy, and smart. You don't care about my money or superficial things. You love your family and your dog. You're my kinda girl."

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"

"Not a serious one."

"And you're sure you want to be in one with me?"

His eyes turned serious. "There isn't a single doubt."

"I'm glad."

"Do you have any doubts about me?"

"Not at all," I said honestly. "I think men can change for the right reasons."

"Well, you were the reason, Sadie. I can't stand the idea of someone else being with you. I've never felt that way before."

"You don't need to worry about it, Ethan. I'm yours."

"Damn right."

I smiled.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer. "Have you done anything else with men?"

"Like what?"

"Sexual things."

"Not really."

"And what does that mean?"

"I told you I was a virgin."

"Has a guy ever fingered you?"

"Yes."

The jealousy flashed across his eyes. "Has a guy ever eaten you out?"

"No."

His anger dimmed.

"Have you ever given head?"

"No."

He nodded. "Excellent."

"Why is that good? I'm totally inexperienced. You'll have to show me everything."

"I don't mind in the least. I'll teach you well, baby."

I felt my cheeks blush.

"Have you ever given a hand job?"

"Yes."

His eyes narrowed but he didn't comment. "Have you ever had a serious boyfriend?"

"Yes."

The jealousy returned. "How long and why did it end?"

I was surprised by the sound of his voice. He almost sounded angry. "For almost a year. It just didn't work out."

"And why not?"

Now I felt uncomfortable. This was a topic I didn't want to discuss. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You just said I could ask you anything."

"And I meant it."

"Did he do something to you?"

I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind. "Please drop it, Ethan."

He stared at me for a moment. "Okay. I'm sorry."

I sighed in relief.

"Did you love him?"

At one point, I thought I did. Or at least I hoped I did. When I thought back on our relationship, I was convinced I never did. "No."

He took a deep breath. "Good."

I trickled my hand down his arm. "Same questions."

He stared into my eyes while he glided his fingers through my hair. "I've done everything you can possibly think of, even a little bondage. I've never loved anyone before. I don't have any ex-girlfriends, just women that I have casual sex with it." His voice held no emotion. It was like he was giving a report.

"So, you just ask them to come over and you have sex, no strings attached?"

He nodded.

"How many women have you slept with?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't tell you."

"And why does my brother hate you so much? I understand why, but I don't understand why that would get under his skin so bad."

Ethan sighed. "I don't want you to hate me."

"I highly doubt that I could. I'm sleeping with you."

"I've slept with most of the women at work. I pretended that I cared about them until I got what I wanted. Then I ignored them and acted like they didn't exist. I even told them I loved them. I've slept with married women, women who are in relationships, and even women with kids." He shook his head. "I'm an asshole, Sadie."

"Well, that's all behind you, right?"

He kissed my forehead. "It's far behind me."

"Why were you so against relationships?"

"I don't know. It just gets boring. I liked sleeping around. I didn't ever sleep with the same women twice unless they were exceptional in bed. Those are the ones that I'd call for casual sex. One of them is in love with me, but I've never cared for her."

It surprised me how cold he was about the whole thing. He really was an asshole. I believed that he really changed. At least, I hoped he did. "And you aren't doing the same thing to me?"

His face fell in despair. "It hurts me that you would even ask, Sadie. I never would have met your father if I didn't care about you. And I definitely would have taken your virginity at the first opportunity if I didn't lo—care about you."

I nodded. "I know."

"You better. I don't do sleepovers with women but I love sleeping with you. And I wouldn't put up with your brother if I wasn't committed to you. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I would do anything to be with you. And I don't want you to sleep with anyone else. The best way to make sure that happens is if I satisfy you."

"I love having sex, Ethan—a lot. But I know I wouldn't have enjoyed it so much if it weren't with you." I trailed my fingers down his chest and felt his muscles.

He grabbed my hand and kissed my fingers. "You know how to make me smile."

I pressed his head next to mine and ran my fingers through his hair. It was slightly curly at the ends. "Does my brother bother you at work?"

He laughed. "No, but he watches me like a hawk. That guy is determined to catch me in the act."

"I'm sorry."

"I really don't mind. The more he pays attention to me, the more he'll be convinced that I really care about you. I have nothing to hide from him."

That made me very happy. The idea of Ethan talking or flirting with anyone else made my heart ache. I didn't want him to be around anyone but me. I was starting to become just as jealous and possessive as he was.

"Let's take Koku on a walk at the park tomorrow," he said.

At the sound of the word 'walk,' Koku's ears picked up and he whined.

I rolled my eyes. "You can't say that word around him."

"He recognizes it?" he asked with a smile.

"You have to use the code word."

"Which is?"

"Klaw."

He raised an eyebrow.

"It's walk backwards."

He nodded his understanding. "I see."

Koku continued to whine.

"I'm sorry, honey. Maybe tomorrow."

He whined again then curled up in a ball.

Ethan smiled. "I like your dog."

"He's pretty cute."

"So, what do you say? We can make a picnic out of it. The summer is disappearing. We won't have nice weather much longer."

I wanted to say yes but I already had plans. I couldn't blow them off. The girls would hunt me down and kill me. "I can't."

His tried to keep the disappointment out of his face but he wasn't very good at it. "Oh?"

"I have plans."

"What are these plans?"

"I'm hanging out with Natascia and Stephanie."

He nodded. "And what will you ladies be doing?"

"We're going out for drinks."

His eyes narrowed. "At a bar?"

"I would assume so."

"Why do you have to go to a bar?" He sounded angry.

I shrugged. "They picked."

"Which one are you going to?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't know yet."

"What time?"

"Uh, seven."

"Let me know where you're going when you find out."

"Why?"

"I just want to know."

I felt the anger burst from my chest. "You are free to do whatever you want and so am I. I can go out with my friends whenever I want and you can just shut the fuck up and deal with it. You will trust me. Either you do, or were over. That's it.

He ran his fingers through his hair for a moment while he sighed. I knew he was irritated with me but I really didn't give a shit. I liked his possessiveness and his obsession with me, but this was too much. I wouldn't let him boss me around, dictating where I go. "So what is the reason for this event? Me?"

I laughed. "They want to know all the dirt."

"And what will you tell them?"

"The truth."

"That you lost your virginity to me?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think they'll dislike me like your brother does?"

"I don't know. But I don't care if they do. I want to be with you, Ethan."

"That gives me some peace of mind."

"It should."

He pulled me to his chest. "Can I sleep here tonight?"

"I always want you to sleep with me."

"You do?"

I nodded.

"Okay."

"Will you?"

"As long as I'm welcome."

"You know, I've never seen your apartment."

"It's not much to look at."

"It must be nice. I know you make good money."

"You're welcome to come over whenever you like, but like I said, it isn't much to look at. I can cook you dinner this week."

"You cook?"

"I know a few things."

"That sounds nice."

I placed my head in the crook of his neck and breathed in his scent. He always smelled amazing. His phone went off a few times but he never reached for it. It vibrated on the table and made a loud noise. Koku's ear perked up.

"Are you going to grab that?" I asked.

"No. I don't care who it is."

I said nothing.

"The only person I want to talk to is right here."

Koku got up and moved closer to us.

Ethan smiled. "And Koku."

His phone went off again and it made me flinch. "Well, it sounds like someone is trying to get a hold of you."

He sighed then grabbed the phone. Where I was lying in his arms, I could see the screen. There were messages from girls: Whitney, Jenna, and Abby. I didn't like looking at the words.

Ethan deleted the messages then returned his phone to the nightstand. I immediately felt uncomfortable. I knew what those girls wanted.

Ethan picked up on the tension. "You have nothing to worry about. I'll text them tomorrow and tell them I've settled down."

"Will they still text you?"

"I don't see why."

I said nothing.

He rubbed his nose against mine. "You can trust me, Sadie. If I wanted to be with them, I wouldn't be sleeping with you. And I wouldn't have slept with you last night. There isn't a single woman in the world who can rival you. I'm yours."

"Since you're a crazy asshole, I can be a jealous bitch."

He laughed. "Yes, you have every right to."

"I don't want you talking to them anymore."

"Done."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't want you talking to guys that you used to sleep with."

I smiled triumphantly.

He kissed me on the head. "There's nothing to worry about. I won't hurt you, baby. You can relax now."

I snuggled next to him and felt my mind fall. I was in heaven.

10

I went to my doctor's appointment the next morning and got the birth control. I felt slightly awkward at the time. I wasn't married and the doctor knew that I wasn't. A part of me felt like a whore, but when I remembered being with Ethan, I realized I didn't care. I liked having sex with him. It was the most enjoyable experience I've ever had.

I went to work for a few hours with my dad. A group of tourists came in and bought a few books. My dad stayed in his office for most of the day while I ran the register. When we paid bills at the end of the month, he usually stayed away from me. He was always stressed out about money. The shop was successful but we didn't make a lot of profit. Our funds covered the rent of the building and our apartments—that's it.

When I came home from work, I wanted to call Ethan but I decided I shouldn't. I missed him all the time and I felt like a crazy person. When I asked him to stop talking to those girls permanently, I felt like I was overreacting. But when he agreed, I was ecstatic. A part of me wondered if he was just telling me what I wanted to hear, but I knew he wouldn't lie to me. He said he wouldn't. And he was always with me. If he was off with someone else, I would have noticed. But then doubt plagued me. What if he grew bored with me then just left? What if he realized that he didn't want a relationship after all? The idea made me want to cry. I was already so in love with him. I couldn't imagine losing him.

I went home when my shift was over. After I showered and started getting dressed, my phone vibrated. When I looked at it, I smiled. It was Ethan.

"Hey," I said happily.

"Hey, baby. How was your day?"

"It was okay. Nothing too exciting happened."

"Did you go to the doctor?"

"Yeah."

"And how did that go?"

"Good. I have the prescription."

"You started taking it, right?"

I could hear the excitement in his voice. "Yes."

"How long do I have to wait before I don't have to pull out anymore?"

"A week."

He groaned. "That seems like forever."

"It'll be over before you know it."

"So, what bar are you going to?"

"I don't know yet."

"You don't know?" His voice became angry almost instantly.

"Well, I haven't asked them."

"Tell me as soon as you find out."

I didn't understand why it mattered. "Why?"

"I just want to know, Sadie."

I sighed. "Okay. But I'm going no matter what. I told you I won't let you control me like a crazy asshole."

"I remember what you said. And thank you for telling me where you're going."

"What are your plans tonight?"

"Nothing too exciting."

I wondered if he had broken it off with those women. "Did you tell them?"

"Yes," he said quickly. "I asked them not to contact me anymore."

"And what did they say?"

He laughed. "I thought I was the jealous one."

"What did they say?" I repeated.

"They teased me for a while. Another one started crying."

"Was that the one in love with you?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"And they'll leave you alone?"

"What does it matter, baby? You're the only one I want."

"What does it matter if Alex tries to sleep with me?"

He growled. "I understand your point. They'll leave me alone, Sadie. Don't worry about it."

"Okay."

"I like it when you get possessive."

"I'm not."

He laughed. "Okay," he said sarcastically.

"I'm not. I just don't want women calling my boyfriend, asking him to fuck them. It's not unreasonable."

"If you say so."

I didn't want to stop talking to him, but I knew I had to get ready. "I should go."

He sighed. "Text me as soon as you know what bar you're going to. I mean it."

"Okay."

"Have a good time, baby."

"I will."

"Bye."

"Bye." I hung up the phone. I missed him so much and I just saw him. I felt like a lovestruck teenager. I finished getting ready and texted Natascia, asking where we were going. When she answered, I texted Ethan and told him the name of the bar. I didn't understand why it mattered. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure it wasn't a sleezy place where there was a bunch of crime or shootings. I really didn't know. He didn't tell me not to go, which I was grateful. Otherwise I was going to slap that crazy asshole. I knew he was just looking out for me. I guess I would have to get used to his protection and he would have to grow accustomed to my resistance.

I left the apartment and took a cab to the bar. When I walked inside, Natascia and Stephanie were already sitting down. I hugged each of them before I took my seat.

"What are you wearing?" Natascia asked.

I looked down at my jeans and my white blouse. "What's wrong with it?"

"Why aren't you wearing a dress?"

"I'm cold."

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "You're always cold."

"So why would I wear a dress?" I snapped.

"Whatever," Natascia said. "Now tell us about Ethan. What happened?"

My face broke out in a smile. Thinking about him gave me butterflies in my stomach. "We're together."

"Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" Stephanie asked.

I nodded.

"But you just met the guy," Natascia said.

I sighed. "And I'm already in love with him."

"Are you serious?" Natascia asked. "Talk about jumping the gun. Did you sleep with him too?"

I smiled.

Stephanie covered her face. "Oh my god! You finally did it."

"And I loved it," I said with a smile.

Natascia held up her hand. "Wait, this is way too fast. What about Alex?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't like Alex. I never have."

"But he loves you," Natascia said. "And you actually know him. You just met this guy."

"And I know how I feel. I love Ethan. He's the one."

Stephanie's face broke out in a grin. "That's so cute."

Natascia shook her head. "I don't want you to jump into this too quickly. You're only going to get hurt."

"I don't think so," I said. "And it's worth the risk."

Natascia sighed. "I hope so."

I wanted to change the subject from Ethan. "So, have you told your parents yet?" I asked Natascia.

Stephanie ignored me. "So how was he in bed?"

My cheeks reddened. "Good."

"What does he look like under that suit?" Natascia asked.

I was turning a darker shade of red. "Yum."

Stephanie laughed. "He's gorgeous. I can understand why Sadie fell for him. I would do him."

"Well, he's mine," I said quickly.

She laughed. "I'll back off."

Natascia looked at me. "So, how did the writing jobs go?"

I sighed. She was always hammering me to pursue my writing career. I always found an excuse not to do it. "I applied to a few jobs."

"And did you get anything?"

"No."

"Did they call you to tell you that?" she asked.

"Uh, no."

Her eyes turned angry. "So, you didn't call to follow up on your application?"

"Well, no."

Natascia shook her head. "This has gone on long enough. I know you don't want to leave your dad alone, but you have to move on, Sadie. You didn't graduate from an Ivy league school to work as a store clerk."

"I know but—"

"No buts," she snapped. "I mean it, Sadie. It's time to move on. Your dad will be fine."

"Well, no one has hired me."

"Because you haven't tried."

I sighed. "Let's talk about something else."

"Why?" she snapped. "I'll just ride your ass later."

Stephanie laughed. "You're such a hardass."

Natascia nodded. "I don't refute that."

A man in slacks and a colored shirt approached our table. He had blond hair and blue eyes. He wasn't bad to look at. I assumed he came to talk to Stephanie or Natascia because they were dressed up. I was just wearing jeans and a shirt. Since I had a boyfriend, I tried to look as unattractive as possible.

He placed a glass of wine directly in front of me. "I was going to have the bartender send this over, but I wanted to get a closer look." He stared into my face for a moment. "And I like what I see."

I was immediately repulsed by this guy. He was handsome, but a total phony. He was just trying to get in my pants and it was totally obvious. Before I could deny his advance, Ethan appeared from nowhere. He grabbed the glass of wine and handed it back to the stranger.

"I can buy my girlfriend her drinks," he said with a dark tone. "Now get the fuck away from her." He grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the mouth. I immediately responded to his touch with a light moan. He pulled away and glared at the man. "Now."

The man turned away and returned to his friends on the other side of the room.

I stared at Ethan with a look of surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"It's just a coincidence."

"Were you watching me?"

He leaned closer to me. "I don't like it when people touch what's mine."

I shook my head. "You're a crazy asshole."

"And you said I can be one sometimes to anyone but your family."

Damn, I did say that.

"Get used to it, baby." He kissed me again then turned to my friends. "It's nice to see you again." He turned around and walked back to his table. He took a seat and started watching the television. His beer sat on the table and was half empty.

Stephanie raised an eyebrow. "So, he's not the jealous type at all," she said sarcastically.

I started laughing. "Yeah, he's a bit psychotic."

"A bit?" Natascia said.

I smiled. "But I like it—sometimes. I'm actually livid he came here. Instead of asking me not to go, he found a loophole and just decided to lurk in the shadows like a psychopath."

Stephanie glanced at him then returned her look to me. "Is he like that all the time?"

"Just when guys try to make a pass at me," I said. "I thought he was going to punch Alex in the face when they met."

Natascia sighed. "Poor guy."

"Which one?" I asked.

"Alex, obviously."

"Ethan doesn't tell me what to do or dictate who I talk to," I said. "As long as he gives me that, I don't care what he does." I glanced at him again. "But I admit this is just ridiculous."

Natascia glanced at him. "So stalking doesn't bother you?" she asked sarcastically.

I smiled. "I think it's kinda cute."

Stephanie leaned forward. "Invite him over here."

"What?" I asked. "I thought we were hanging out."

"Well, now we can interrogate him," Natascia said.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You better not scare him off."

Stephanie laughed. "If he follows you to a bar just to protect you, I don't think there's anything we can do to scare him off."

"You have a point. I'll be right back." I rose from my seat then walked over to him. He smiled as he saw me approach. He gave me that sexy grin that he used on all the girls. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. "You're insane, you know that?"

He leaned back. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't want me to go out with my friends so you stalk me instead?"

"It was a coincidence."

"I thought you wouldn't lie to me?"

He shrugged. "I may have stretched the truth a little."

"It better not happen again, Ethan."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm not bothering you, interfering—"

"Not interfering? You almost punched a guy in the face because he wanted to buy me a drink."

"Well, he had it coming."

"I'm serious, Ethan. Knock it off."

He said nothing.

"Ethan," I pressed.

"I just care about you."

"I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a really long time. This behavior is unacceptable."

He sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to behave in a relationship."

"I've picked up on that. The next time this happens, I'm going to throw my drink in your face."

"I'll do a better job of staying hidden, then."

I glared at him.

"Fine," he snapped.

"Thank you."

"Yeah."

Natascia waved at him. "Ethan!"

He smiled at her then rose to his feet. He grabbed his beer and my hand and approached the table. "Do you need anything, ladies? Another round perhaps?"

"Take a seat," Natascia commanded him.

I looked at Ethan. "I'm so sorry," I whispered.

He kissed me on the forehead then pulled out my seat, helping me down, then took the seat next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and leaned in close to me. My earlier annoyance had completely disappeared. He smelled great like he always did. I rested my hand on his thigh and felt the muscles of his leg. I had a quick daydream about us making love and it made my spine shiver. Now I just wanted to go home—with Ethan.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Natascia asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really need to grill him right now?"

"It's okay, baby." He turned to Natascia. "This is my story. I graduated from UCLA with my bachelors in business then received my MBA from NYU. I've been working on Wall Street for two years. I like my job but sometimes it gets boring. But I really can't complain. I'm a certified financial analyst." Natascia nodded her head in approval. "I've slept around with a lot of different women, but when I met Sadie, I realized I wanted to be in a committed relationship. I care about her very much and I will only treat her with respect. I'm a little possessive at times, but I can't help it. I'm obsessed with her." He said everything in a calm tone. He didn't seem annoyed that my friends were listening to every word he said. "My hobbies include basketball, reading, hanging out with my friends, and buying Koku bones." I smiled at that part. "I'm very close with my family. I have two brothers and a sister who live in the city. Is there anything else you would like to know?"

Natascia and Stephanie exchanged glances.

Natascia shook her head. "No."

Stephanie nodded. "We approve."

Ethan smiled. "Thank you." He kissed me on the forehead. "I like your friends."

"That's a miracle," I said sarcastically. "They're a pain in the ass."

"Well, I'm a pain in the ass too."

"No, you aren't," I said quickly.

"You aren't mad at me because of my little episode?"

"No. I thought it was cute."

"Well, that's a relief."

"As long as you don't tell me what to do, I don't care."

"Deal."

I kissed his lips gently then pulled away. I wanted to tell him that I loved him but I held it back. When I looked at his face, I thought I saw the same expression. I wondered if he loved me. It seemed like he did.

"So, do you have any cute friends?" Natascia asked.

"None that aren't dogs," Ethan said honestly.

She shook her head. "Good guys are hard to find."

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "We're a rare breed."

I gripped his thigh. "Definitely."

"So can I buy you ladies some drinks?" he asked.

Stephanie nodded. "I like him."

Ethan smiled. "I'll be back."

When he walked away, Natascia leaned toward me. "I like him too."

"Yeah," Stephanie whispered.

Natascia stared at his backside. "You were right about his ass—it's nice."

I slapped her on the arm. "Hey, that's my ass."

She laughed. "Sorry."

Now Stephanie was looking at it. "I understand why you slept with him so easily."

"I said I wouldn't, but then a day later I was begging him to have sex with me."

"A day?" Natascia asked. "You're such a slut."

I shrugged. "For Ethan I am."

Ethan returned with the drinks and we spent the evening talking. Ethan made them laugh a few times. Natascia was chuckling so hard that her cosmo came out her nose. I wasn't really listening. I was just staring at Ethan the whole time, shocked that this beautiful man was really mine. With the exception of his history, he was perfect in every way.

When we left the bar, Ethan offered to walk them to their doors, but my friends both rejected his offer. Then Ethan and I headed back to my apartment. As soon as we walked inside, I threw myself at him.

"Let's go in the bedroom," I said as I kissed his neck.

He grabbed my shirt then pulled it off as we moved down the hallway. Koku was right at our heels but neither one of us cared. When I ripped off his shirt, I broke a button, but he didn't seem upset. He pulled down my pants then stripped off my underwear with lightning speed. He pushed me on the bed and crawled on top of me. He was inside me instantly, and he started to rock.

"Ethan."

"Baby."

I rolled on top of him and started to ride him. I had never done it before, so Ethan guided my hips with his hands, pushing himself deeper inside me. I moved faster as I felt my orgasm form. I liked being on top. I could control everything.

"You look beautiful," he said between breaths.

I moved him as far inside as I possibly could. I felt my body shake for him. He still stretched me tight but I was able to accommodate him better. The orgasm hit me suddenly and I moved on top of him as fast I could.

Ethan dug his nails into my skin. "Baby, be careful." He bit his lip as he stared into my face, watching me come.

When I was done, he rolled on top of me and pounded into me so fast that I came again. I gripped his back as the orgasm exploded inside me. Ethan tried to control himself long enough for my moment to pass then he pulled out and came onto my stomach. "Baby," he said with a moan.

I ran my hand down his chest and felt the sweat on my fingertips. After he was finished, he wiped himself off then cleaned my stomach. He collapsed on the bed next to me and cradled me in his arms. We fell asleep immediately.

11

My phone rang on the nightstand, waking me up. I grabbed it.

"Muh."

"Dear?"

"Hmm?"

"Did I wake you up?" my mother said with a laugh.

"No...yeah...what?"

"It's seven in the morning there. You should be awake by now."

Ethan moaned then pulled me closer to his chest. He buried his face in my neck and sighed. I loved waking up to him every morning—I freaking loved it.

"Well, I'm awake now, Mom."

"So, how are you?"

"Tired."  
"Other than that?"

"Good."

"How's your father?"

I knew she didn't care. She only asked to be polite. She moved across the Atlantic to get away from him. She even left her kids behind. "He's good."

"How's the job hunt going?"

I ran my fingers through my hair then rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Okay. I applied to a few places. I haven't heard anything."

"Well, keep trying. Something will turn up. You can't run that bookstore with your father forever."

"Yeah. So how are you?"

"Good. I started seeing someone."

"What about John?"

"Eh. I didn't like him."

My mother went through men quicker than toilet paper. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't like them, or she just found someone else to like more. "So who's this guy?"

"I met him in the tube."

I rolled my eyes. I hated when my mom tried to act British.

"He works for a magazine. He's very charming and rich."

"Your favorite qualities," I said sarcastically.

She ignored my comment. "So are you seeing anyone?"

I didn't want to tell her the truth. I wasn't sure why. She and I just weren't close. "No."

Ethan pulled his face away. He didn't loosen his hands on my sides, but he moved further away.

"Well, you need to get out more, Sadie. Time is ticking."

"Uh, thanks."

"Well, I have to go. I just wanted to check in."

"Okay. Bye, Mom."

"Goodbye, sweetpea." She hung up.

I returned the phone to the nightstand and looked at the clock. I still had a few minutes before the alarm went off.

"What was that about?" Ethan asked.

I turned on my side and faced him. I ran my hands across his shoulders and felt his warm body. He was always scorching hot. It kept me warm in the middle of the night. I usually only had Koku for warmth, but now I had a real man. I glanced at my dog. I could tell that he wasn't happy about not being the only man in my life anymore—even though he loved Ethan. "What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you tell her about me?"

I sighed. "Please don't be offended. I'm just not that close to her."

"Then why does it matter if she knows?" I could see the pain in his eyes. His jaw was clenched tight. He didn't seem as happy as he normally was.

"I—I just don't want to tell her."

"Why?" he pressed.

"Does it matter? She doesn't even live here."

"It matters to me. I'm your boyfriend. I want people to know that."

"I'm sorry."

"Your father knows so why can't she know?"

"Why is this so important to you?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Are you afraid that we aren't going to last?"

My eyes softened. "Not at all, Ethan."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'm just not close to her. And she'll be annoying about it. I really don't want to deal with it this early in the morning."

"So you'll tell her eventually?" he said hopefully.

"Yes."

He nodded. "Okay." He pulled me close and snuggled next to me. As soon as we were comfortable, the alarm went off. "Damn."

"Don't go." I wasn't ready for him to leave.

"I need food, water, and shelter."

"No."

He laughed. "My dad isn't my boss. I can't be a bad worker."

"Are you implying that I am?"

"No," he said with a laugh. "Why didn't you tell me that you owned the bookstore?"

I shrugged. "It didn't come up."

"How long have you been running it?"

"For about a decade."

"That's good," he said. "So your parents are divorced?"

I nodded.

"When did that happen?"

"About seven years ago."

"What happened?"

"I still don't know."

"Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out for them."

I smiled. "Thanks."

He rose from the bed then started to dress himself. I wanted to cry. He fixed his suit and rubbed all the wrinkles out. He ran his fingers through his hair. Within minutes, he was perfectly beautiful and professional. I wish I could just roll out of bed and look like a god.

He caught my stare in the mirror. "You like what you see?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah."

He flinched. "Don't make that face, baby. Not before I go to work."

I bit my lip again.

"I mean it."

I sighed, sad that my ploy wasn't going to work. I rose from the bed and dressed myself. It took me longer than it did him. I actually had to brush my hair and put on makeup. When we left the apartment, Ethan escorted me to work. When we were outside the bookstore, he hugged me tightly, pressing his face against mine. "I want you to come over for dinner tonight."

"You're going to cook for me?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I remembered I had plans with Jared. "I can't."

He growled. "You better be fucking kidding me. You had plans last night."

"I'm sorry."

"And what are you doing now?"

"My brother and I are going out to dinner."

His eyes narrowed. "Just you and your brother?"

I knew what he was really asking. "Yes. Alex won't be there, not that it should matter."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Do you want to know where and what time?" I said sarcastically.

He smiled. "No. As long as you aren't going to a bar and you're with your brother the whole time, I'm okay."

"So you aren't completely crazy?"

"I didn't say that," he said with a smile.

"Good."

"You like crazy?"

"A little."

"That works for me." He pressed his lips against mine and kissed me hard. People passed us on the street but I didn't care. I cupped his face and relayed all my secret love to him in my embrace alone. I wanted to take him back to the apartment and move between the sheets, but we had jobs and reality to get back to. He pulled away. "You taste so good," he whispered.

"You do too."

He kissed me on the forehead. "I'll see you later. Tomorrow night is reserved for me. You got it?"

"And you can still come over tonight."

"I assumed. I'm bringing some things over, extra clothes, a toothbrush, etc. Do you mind?"

"No," I said quickly. "I'll make you a drawer."

"Thank you, baby." He gave me a quick kiss on the lips then walked up the street. I watched him move down the sidewalk until the crowd blocked his beautiful form. I thought about our last kiss long after it was over. I had never been so happy in my life.

"Getting serious?"

I turned and saw my father unlocking the door. I blushed crimson red. "Uh, yeah."

He smiled. "I'm happy for you, honey."

I was still embarrassed. "Thanks."

He opened the door and I followed him inside. "So, it's safe to say you love him?"

I nodded. I've never talked about boys with my father before. I thought it would be weird but it wasn't.

"I can tell he's the one. I've never met a boyfriend of yours, Sadie."

"He's special."

"I always thought Jared would get married first," he said as he opened the cash register. "But I'm glad that I was wrong."

I smiled. "We just started dating, Daddy. We'll see how it goes."

"But I already met the guy and I can see how much he cares for you. Time is irrelevant when it comes to love. It didn't matter with me and your mother. She and I were married within a year of our meeting."

My eyes softened. "What happened?"

He averted his gaze. "It just didn't work out."

I didn't press him further. Neither one of my parents discussed their divorce. There was no fighting or yelling, as far as I could remember. It was so sudden and unexpected. Jared and I didn't know what to think when it happened. It ended so quickly.

I checked the inventory for the store then moved some books around. I spent my afternoon working—thinking about Ethan—and working some more. A few customers came in but not as many as the day before.

I was disappointed that I had to have dinner with my brother. I wanted to spend the evening with Ethan—not Jared. But I knew I couldn't bail on my brother. Even though things were awkward between us because of Ethan, I didn't want to lose the relationship we had. We fought like crazy, but we loved each other just as much. I couldn't live without my brother.

When I got off work, I went home and showered. I took Koku outside so he could do his business then returned to the apartment. Jared came by a few minutes later.

"Hey," he said when I opened the door. He seemed to be in a good mood.

"So, Suzie is officially history?"

"Yes, thank god."

"I'm happy for you."

"I picked up some chick last night. I love being single again."

I didn't say anything. My brother and I were close, but not that close.

We left the apartment then walked down the street. Jared had a skip in his step and a smile on his face. I knew he hated Suzie but his upbeat personality was still surprising.

"Is there something else you're happy about?"

"No," he said quickly.

"So how was your day?"

"Pretty uneventful. Yours?"

"It was okay."

"Was it slow?"

"A little."

We arrived at the Italian restaurant and walked inside. Jared didn't go to the podium but walked right into the line of tables. Confused, I followed him. When he stopped, I realized that Alex was sitting at a table—for two.

"Jared?"

He looked at his clock. "Damn, I have somewhere to be."

My eyes lit up in flames. "This better be a fucking joke, Jared."

He looked at Alex. "What a coincidence! Why don't you two have dinner together?"

"I'm with Ethan—I made that clear."

"Well, I have to go," Jared said. He pulled out the chair then gestured for me to sit. "Come on."

"This isn't funny," I said.

"And I wasn't laughing."

"No."

"Sit," he hissed.

"I love Ethan."

"No, you don't," he snapped.

My brother grabbed my arm and pulled me into the chair. "Just share a meal with Alex. I'm not asking you to marry him."

"Jared—"

"Just do this for me."

I flinched at the command in his voice. I stared across the table and saw Alex looking back at me. He wore a beautiful suit, and there was a rose on the table. He was smiling at me. I felt nothing but guilt. I told Ethan that I was just having dinner with my brother—not Alex. I felt like a liar. "I have to go."

Jared rested his hands on my shoulders. "It's just a dinner between friends. Calm down." He nodded to Alex. "Good luck." My brother left the restaurant and walked out the door. I stared across the table at Alex awkwardly.

"How was your day?" he asked.

I averted my gaze. "Fine."

He opened the menu and looked at the items. "They have a lot of good things here."

I said nothing.

Alex stared at me. "You can calm down now."

"I'm not interested in you, Alex. Please stop pressuring me."

He sighed. "Be with me, Sadie. And this guy sounds like a womanizer. He's trash. I actually care about you."

"You don't even know him."

"Well, your brother does and he hates him. And he's worked with him for two years. Do you really want to be with someone that your brother hates?"

"He'll come around."

"No, he won't," he said firmly. "Jared hates the guy. He's determined to make you see things logically."

I shook my head. "Stop this now."

"No. I don't want you to get hurt. I can give you everything you need."

I felt my hands shake. "I don't love you, Alex. I never will."

My words stung him. He stared at me for a moment then averted his gaze. I could tell that he was wounded. "That's because you've never given me a shot."

"And I never will. I'm in love with someone else."

"No, you aren't."

I felt my anger explode. "Stop telling me how I feel!"

The couple at the next table flinched at my words.

"What don't you get?" I hissed. "I love Ethan. I love him, not you." I stood up and marched away from the table. Alex followed me and I heard his footsteps behind me.

"Sadie."

I continued to walk. I burst through the doors then walked up the street. I wanted to go home.

"Sadie!" He grabbed my arm and held me still. "Please stop running from me."

"Then stop chasing me," I snapped. I jerked my arm away and continued to walk away.

"Sadie, just give me a single date. I know you could fall for me."

I ignored him. I didn't know how much clearer I could make myself. Ethan was the one—it was him.

"Please don't hate me. Jared wanted me to do this. I would never hurt you. You know that."

I stopped and glared at him. "You're being completely disrespectful to me and Ethan. I've known you for years and I've never expressed any interest in you. You're hurting me by trying to manipulate and control me. I love Ethan. That's it—end of story." He stared into my eyes then sighed. He placed his hands in his pockets then looked past my shoulder. It seemed that I finally got through to him. When he stared into the distance, his eyes widened in surprise. "What?" I snapped.

A smile broke on his face. I didn't like the look. He nodded over my shoulder. I turned around and felt my heart drop. Ethan walked out of a grocery store. He was holding a small child in his arms, a young girl, and a beautiful woman walked beside him. She wore a wedding ring and smiled at Ethan affectionately. She held a small boy in her arms. Ethan took the bag of groceries from her hand and held it for her. It was obvious they were a family—Ethan was married.

I felt my heart fall out of my chest. Ethan told me he wasn't a liar or a cheat, but he clearly was both. He had been lying to me this whole time, taking me as his innocent mistress. I tried to find a logical explanation for the sight before me but I couldn't think of one. Without thinking, I started to follow them down the street. Alex walked beside me without speaking.

The child in Ethan's arms giggled as he carried her. The woman walked close to Ethan and touched his shoulder with hers. When people passed, Ethan moved closer to her, protecting her against the strangers. I felt my heart break at the sight.

Tears poured down my face as I followed them. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I continued to trail them like a spy. Alex held my hand but I jerked it away. When we arrived at a small townhouse, Ethan put down the small child and inserted his key in the door. It was obvious that was their home.

"I'm tired," the small girl said with a yawn.

"I'll put you to bed in second, honey," Ethan said as he got the door open. Ethan let his wife and kids walk inside first before he stepped through.

"Ethan!" I yelled. I don't know why I did it. It just came out.

He stopped and looked at me. His face broke into panic when he saw the tears stream down my face. When he moved down the stairs, I turned on my heel and walked away. Alex walked beside me, placing his hand on my waist.

"Sadie!" Ethan screamed. He started to run after me.

I stepped toward the end of the sidewalk and waved down a cab. I knew I couldn't outrun him.

"Sadie!" he yelled.

When he finally reached us, Alex punched him in the face as hard as he could. Ethan stumbled back and grabbed his nose. He was bleeding.

I jumped in the cab without looking back. Alex slid onto the seat next to me and slammed the door shut.

Ethan pounded on the window with his fist. "Sadie! Listen to me!"

"Drive!" I yelled.

The driver stepped on the gas and sped away. I let the tears fall down my face. I didn't bother to wipe them away.

Alex placed his arm around my shoulder and held me to him. I didn't want him to touch me but I was too depressed to care. "You wanna come back to my place?"

"No," I snapped.

He fell silent.

The cab drove back to my apartment. When the car pulled over, I bolted out and walked inside. Alex walked beside me.

"Go home, Alex," I snapped.

"I'm not leaving you when you're like this."

I glared at him. "Leave me the fuck alone."

"At least let me walk you to your door."

"Good night, Alex."

Alex was smart enough not to follow me into the elevator. I came to my apartment then slammed the door behind me. I locked it then turned off all the lights. I grabbed Koku from the ground then carried him into my room. I got under the covers and held my little dog into my neck, weeping openly. I sobbed loudly and ran my fingers through Koku's hair. He licked my tears away and whimpered next to me. Minutes later, I heard Ethan bang on my front door. I didn't move. He continued to pound on the door for several minutes, calling for me. I still didn't move. I grabbed my phone and turned it off before he called me. If he heard the phone, he would know I was in the apartment.

After half an hour, Ethan finally stopped trying to break down my door. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I just stared at the ceiling as the tears fell from my eyes. I felt so stupid for ever trusting Ethan. The man took my virginity and he didn't even care about me. I had the worst taste in guys. I always fell for the heartbreakers. I really loved Ethan but my heart made stupid decisions. I was an idiot.

12

I called in sick to work the next day.

"What's wrong?"

"Uh, I'm just under the weather."

My dad was quiet for a moment. "Can I bring you something?"

"No, Daddy. But thank you."

"Um, does Ethan know?"

I really didn't want to hear his name. "Yeah."

"Well, he's standing outside, looking like someone just died."

"Oh, he's waiting for someone."

"You?"

"No. Just ignore him."

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

I tried not to cry. "I'm fine, really." I heard the familiar bell ring on the door. Then I heard my father speak in the background before he spoke into the phone.

"Uh, Ethan wants to talk to you."

"Tell him I'm not feeling well." I hung up.

I rolled on my side and tried to go to sleep. The reality of my life was too painful. My heart had never been shattered like this. I didn't even know how to respond. I wasn't hungry or thirsty. I had no desire to do anything. It was only a matter of time before Alex told my brother. I had a feeling Ethan would get his ass kicked at work. Good. He deserved it.

I finally showered then moved into the living room. When I tried to watch television, everything reminded me of Ethan. I tried to listen to music but the love songs just made me sad. I went back to my room and climbed into bed. Koku never left my side. I knew he was worried about me. He whimpered as he cuddled next to me. My dog was back to being the only man in my life. At least he wouldn't hurt me. At some point, I fell asleep.

When I heard the pounding on the door, I woke up. I wasn't sure who it was. It could be Ethan or my brother. I walked to the front door and saw Jared through the peephole. He looked desperate. His eyes were wide with panic.

"Sadie, please open the door," he begged.

I sighed then unlocked it.

As soon as he saw me, he pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. He said nothing while he held me, which was a relief. I had nothing to say anyway. The tears started to fall from my eyes. My brother kissed my forehead and continued to hold me. I always felt safe with him. I knew he would never gloat about being right. And I knew he was genuinely sad that it hadn't worked out with Ethan.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

I said nothing.

"Please tell me what I can do."

"You're already doing it."

He ran his fingers through my hair while he held me. "It's going to be okay, Sadie."

"No, it isn't." I pulled away and wiped my tears. "I appreciate you checking on me, but I really want to be alone right now."

"I can't stand this."

"I'm sorry."

"Please let me stay."

"You can't help me this time, Jared."

"I hate seeing you in pain."

I smiled. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Did you talk to Ethan?"

His eyes turned angry. "That fucker isn't worth my time."

I nodded. "You're right. He isn't."

"If he has the nerve to show up here, let me know, Sadie. Then I'll beat the shit out of him."

"I know."

"Do you still want me to go?"

I nodded.

"I'm just a few stories up. Call me if you need me."

"Okay."

"I love you, Sadie."

"I love you too."

"This is killing me."

"I know that too."

He kissed me on the head before he disappeared into the hallway. I closed the door then locked it. All the lights were turned off so it looked like I wasn't home. If Ethan came back, I wanted him to think I vacated the apartment. A few minutes later, I heard him pound on the door.

"Sadie! Talk to me!"

I sat on the couch and stared at the blank television screen.

"Sadie, it's not what you think. Give me a chance to explain myself."

I walked into my bedroom and grabbed my ipod. I put the earphones on and listened to techno music—something without lyrics. His voice and the pounding on the door disappeared. My phone was off so he couldn't call me. Koku nuzzled my neck as we lied on the bed. Somehow I fell asleep again. My dreams were of Ethan and they were painful. I just wished this agony would disappear. I wished I had never loved him. I wished this wasn't happening.

The days passed in the same way. I told my dad I had a bad case of the flu and I wouldn't be coming into the shop at all that week. He seemed worried.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," I said, coughing into the phone. "I just need to rest."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Sadie?"

"Hmm?"

"Why does Ethan come here every morning?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"Is everything okay between you two?"

"Yeah." I hung up on my dad. I felt guilty for being rude but I couldn't talk about Ethan right then.

The week passed by like a blur. Ethan came to my apartment every day and hammered on the door. Every time he did this, I turned on my ipod and ignored him. I knew he would give up eventually. He had a wife and kids to worry about, not his mistress.

Jared brought me groceries and tried to cook me dinner, but I just told him to leave. I still didn't want to be around anyone. Only a week had passed, but I felt sickly thin. I hadn't been eating anything. I just didn't have an appetite. I always felt nauseated. Every time I thought about Ethan, I felt like throwing up.

Alex came by a few times but I ignored him too. Even though Ethan and I broke up, I was still pissed at Alex for trying to manipulate me into being with him. I didn't care how much he claimed to love me. He put his needs before my own. How could I ever be with someone who was so selfish? But then again, what did I know? I always had feelings for shitty guys—the worst kind. And I let one of them take my virginity. I would have to live with that for the rest of my life—my worst mistake.

I finally decided to go back to work the following week. I could only act sick for so long. I showered and dressed myself and forced my body to leave the apartment and my beloved Koku. I wanted to stay with my little dog all day. He was my safe haven. When I walked up the sidewalk, I saw Ethan standing outside, just like he did every day. I really didn't want to see him or talk to him. The last thing I wanted to do was fight in front of my dad. When Ethan saw me, his eyes widened.

"Sadie!"

I walked past him. "Leave me alone, Ethan."

"No," he snapped. "Listen to me." He grabbed my arm, but I jerked it away.

"Touch me again and I'll scream for help."

His eyes softened in despair. "Please listen to me, Sadie. Please."

"Fuck off, Ethan. Go away and leave me the hell alone." I walked toward the door.

"Just listen to me! That wasn't what you thought it was."

I tried to open the door but he held it closed. "I couldn't care less, Ethan. Now let me pass. I never want to see you again—I mean it."

"I wasn't cheating on you."

"I'm sure," I said sarcastically.

"That was my sister."

I rolled my eyes. "Nice try."

He pressed his weight against the door and blocked the entrance. "I'm not lying." He clenched his jaw as he stared at me. "That was my sister and niece and nephew. I can prove it to you, Sadie."

I shook my head. "Fuck you."

He opened his wallet and showed me a picture of the woman. "She's my sister. Please tell me you see the resemblance? We are fraternal twins."

I didn't look. "Get out of my way, Ethan."

"Sadie, listen to me."

"No, you listen," I snapped. "I gave myself to you and you turned out to be a lying cheat like my brother said you were. You didn't trust me to go out with my friends alone, but you were the one fucking a wife behind my back. If you have any decency, please just let me go. I need to be alone and get back on my feet. All you're doing is torturing me."

"No, I'm not leaving because I didn't cheat on you."

"Then why were you all going into your apartment?"

He sighed. "Because I live with them."

I narrowed my eyes.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I didn't want to tell you that just yet. I wanted to wait until you came over for dinner."

"Tell me what?"

"That my sister's husband passed away a few years ago and now I'm their sole provider. I can't afford my own place in addition to their apartment, so we just live together."

I was still suspicious. "And why would you want to hide that?"

"Because I'm totally broke. I pay for everything, and I'm saving for the kid's college tuitions. What girl wants to be with a man that already supports a family?"

My eyes softened. "That changes nothing, Ethan."

He smiled. "So you believe me?"

"I—I didn't say that."

"Come over after work and I'll prove it to you. She's my sister—that's it. I'm not married or cheating on you."

"Really?" I felt my heart thaw from the ice.

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "How could you ever think otherwise?"

"I—I don't know."

"If you hadn't avoided me, I could have explained this a week ago."

"I'm sorry."

"And why the fuck were you with Alex?"

I felt my heart fall.

"You were the one caught in a dead lie. You weren't where you said you were, and your brother was nowhere in sight. If anything, I'm the one who should be pissed. I did nothing wrong. You're the liar, Sadie." His eyes looked like they would burst in flame.

"I didn't mean to end up with Alex. It—it just happened. I swear."

He stared at me. "And how did that come about?"

"I was with Jared and he set me up with Alex. I didn't want to be there. When I was running from him, I ran into you. I'm sorry, Ethan. I'm not lying."

He still looked livid. "You should have fucking called me."

"I know. It won't happen again. I'm sorry." I was afraid I was going to lose him again, but this time it would be all my fault. He wanted me to stay away from Alex because he wasn't trustworthy and he turned out to be dead on about it. I didn't listen to him. "Ethan, I mean it. I'm sorry."

His eyes softened. "I want to stay pissed at you, but I can't. I've missed you so much this past week."

"I missed you too."

"Promise me you'll talk to me next time you're angry with me."

"Done."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry."

"And I don't want you alone with Alex anymore. I didn't want it to come to this but he crossed a line he can never uncross." He paused as he stared at me, daring me to defy him.

"Ethan."

"No. I was right the entire time. You denied my request because I wasn't being reasonable, but I was. I don't want you to be around someone that is intent on making you leave me. I would never spend time with someone that acted that way. Out of respect for me, you will do this. I will not compromise on this. You can do whatever you want, go wherever you want, hug whoever you want, but not Alex.

I sighed. "I understand."

He raised an eyebrow, surprised that I actually agreed. How could I not? He was totally right. I didn't trust Alex at all anymore. If the situation was reversed, I would be just as pissed. "I mean it, Sadie."

"I know."

"He lost his friendship privileges."

I nodded.

He sighed. "I wish I didn't have to go to work right now."

"Me too."

He grabbed my face and kissed my forehead. "You're mine as soon as I get off work."

"I'll be waiting. Koku too."

He smiled. "I'll see you then, baby." He kissed me again then walked away.

"Ethan?"

He turned around and looked at me.

"I really am sorry about everything."

"I know."

13

When I got to my apartment, Ethan was standing outside. He was leaning against the wall with a bag over his shoulder. I approached the door and he smiled at me.

He stared at me for a long time. "I forgot how beautiful you are."

"Uh, thanks."

He sighed. "Do we have to start all over again?"

I smiled. "Sorry." I opened the door and we walked inside. When the door was closed, he dropped his bag to the floor then grabbed me, picking me up in his arms.

"Ethan, I'm so sorry."

He carried me into the bedroom then laid me on the bed. He was undressing himself with lightning speed. "Sex now. Talk later."

I removed my clothes while I stared at his naked body. When he grabbed my underwear, he ripped the seam. I didn't mind. I would just buy more.

He separated my legs then leaned far over me. Then he placed my legs over his shoulders as he slid himself inside me. "I have to break you in again."

I felt him move deep inside me and stretch me wide. He was big, but I loved his size. I didn't think I could handle it, but clearly I could. I bit my lip as he moved into me harder than he normally did.

"You better not pull another fucking stunt like that," he said in between breaths.

"I won't," I said with a moan.

"And if I catch that fucker anywhere near you, I swear to god, Sadie. I'll fucking kill him."

I grabbed his ass and pulled him further into me. He reached all the way to my cervix and it felt amazing. As soon as he was inside me, I felt the orgasm start. I was addicted to the sex we had. I could never be with someone else after him. "Ethan, I'm yours."

"Yeah. All mine."

"I've always been."

He bit his lip as he moved into me. "I'm glad we got that straightened out."

"Yeah."

"And you better not run from me like that again, Sadie."

"I won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

He pounded into me and I felt the orgasm circulate. I dug my nails into his ass as the feel of his cock made me explode. "Ethan."

"Baby."

"Ethan, god. You always feel so good."

"I know, baby. You feel the same way."

After my moment was finished, he pounded into me faster than he ever had. My whole body shook with the force of his pumps. It felt good, but it started to hurt. It was too fast. "Uh—Ethan—uh."

He immediately stopped. "Baby, are you okay?"

"That was too hard."

His eyes widened in fear. "God, I'm sorry." He pulled my legs down then pulled out of me. "I'm so sorry." He kissed my lips then my forehead. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay. I'm just not—ready for that level."

He nodded. "It won't happen again." He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Ethan, it's okay. I'll get there eventually."

He pulled away and lied down beside me.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding you."

"Finish."

"Aren't you in pain?"

"No. It just hurt in the moment."

"It's okay, Sadie."

"Babe, you've waited a week. I want you to get off."

"Hurting you makes me feel sick."

I crawled on top of him then inserted himself within me. He didn't fight it and just closed his eyes. "Now you know you aren't hurting me." I moved on top of him and made his breaths come out deep and shallow. I didn't ride him at a fast pace because I was afraid of feeling the pain again, but Ethan looked like he was enjoying it anyway. He grabbed my hips and thrust inside me gently.

"I can finally come inside you?"

I nodded.

"You've been taking it?"

"It's a patch. I don't have to take it."

He leaned his head back. "Good." He sat up and pressed his face against mine. "I want you to look at me when I come inside you."

I moaned.

He moved below me, stretching me with every thrust. "Sadie."

"Ethan."

"I'm about to come." He stared into my eyes, making me feel like I was the only thing that mattered in the world. "I want you to know how much I care about you, Sadie. I will never hurt you, betray you, or lie to you. I promise."

"I couldn't go on if you did."

"You don't have to worry about that." He pressed his forehead against mine.

"Ethan."

He bit his lip as he thrust into me one more time. His eyes never left mine as he released himself inside me. It was the hottest thing I've ever seen. I loved feeling him fill me. When he was done, he caught his breath.

"That felt amazing," he said.

"I know."

He lied down and pulled me to his chest. "Your phone off?"

"No."

"Turn it off."

"Why?"

"Because you're mine tonight."

I smiled. "Okay." I crawled on his chest and lied on top of him. We said nothing for a long time. His hands glided through my hair and down my back. The feel of his hands made me relax. I had been in so much pain that week. I was so relieved that I was wrong about Ethan. The knowledge that he was already married completely shattered me. I was so glad to be wrong.

The sound of paws scratching the door could be heard.

Ethan gently rolled me off then opened the door. Koku pawed his legs and Ethan picked him up. He petted him for a while and my dog licked his face. It was so cute. Ethan left my bedroom and returned with a bone. He gave it to Koku and put him on the bed. Koku gnawed it happily.

Ethan smiled at me. "I have to fatten him up again."

I reached my arms to him and pulled him to me.

"What do you want to do this evening?"

"I want to stay in bed."

"That works for me."

I kissed his chest then pressed my face next to his. I enjoyed feeling his skin next to mine.

He stared at my body, gliding his hands down my stomach and to my thighs. "Baby, you haven't been eating."

"I didn't have an appetite."

His eyes lost their light. "Well, now I'm going to fatten you up too."

"I'm fine."

"Clearly not. I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

"It wasn't your fault, Ethan."

"I should have told you beforehand."

"I should have trusted you."

He shook his head. "I know how it looked. I understand why you jumped to that conclusion."

"I still don't understand why you hid it from me. I think you're admirable and heroic. I may have slept with you sooner."

"Well, I'm going to be supporting them for a very long time. She just can't make enough money to pay the bills and hire help at the same time. Getting a reliable sitter is really expensive in the city. She would have to make as much as I do just afford all of that. It's just easier if we wait until the kids start preschool. That way they'll be gone during the day and she can work."

"I still don't understand."

"Well, I won't have much money to contribute to a marriage and a family for a year or two. As much as I want to start my own life, I can't desert my sister and her kids. I would never want to."

"I think it's the right thing to do."

He said nothing.

"How long ago did this happen?"

"Three years ago."

"I'm so sorry about your loss."

He nodded. "Tom was a good guy."

"What happened?"

"We were out one night and Tom wanted to turn in early. Instead of walking with him like I should have, I stayed around to pick up some bimbo. As he was walking alone, he was mugged. When he resisted, the mugger stabbed him. He bled out and died. It wouldn't have happened if I was there like I should have been."

I felt the tears bubble under my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"We never caught the guy."

I said nothing.

"How's she doing?"

He shrugged. "She's okay. She's strong for the kids and acts like she's happy. I hear her cry at night sometimes."

"I don't blame her. That's so hard."

"Yeah."

"She can't get a job?"

"She can but it will have to wait until the kids are in school. It's pointless for her to work just to have a stranger take care of her kids. I wouldn't want that and we both agreed on it. After the kids start school, I'll help her find a job and get her back on her feet."

I smiled when I listened to him, knowing how much he loved them.

"And living together is easier. When I get home from work, I take the kids to the park or out for ice cream so she has some alone time to read or take a nap. She loves being with them, but I know she gets overwhelmed sometimes. Having kids is definitely a two person gig. They are just so young that they need the attention. We both look forward to them starting school so they'll be gone most of the day, playing with other kids."

"That's so sweet."

"Yeah. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"She doesn't have help from anyone else?"

"No. My parents are dead and Tom's parents live on the west coast. They don't have money to help out."

"Oh? I'm so sorry, Ethan."

"It's okay. It happened a long time ago."

I wanted to know what happened but I decided to drop it.

"And my brothers don't make enough money to help out. They have their own lives. Plus, Elisa doesn't want their help. She and I have always been closer than my other siblings since we're twins. And after what happened, knowing I should have been there with Tom, it's my responsibility to take care of her. I'm the only person she has."

"It isn't your fault," I whispered.

"Yes it is."

"No."

"Drop it."

I hugged him to my chest. "You're amazing."

"I try."

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions."

He kissed my forehead. "Don't worry about it, baby."

"Tell me about your niece and nephew."

He smiled. His eyes lit up when he thought about them. "Becky is four. She's a little brat but she's adorable as hell. Tommy is shy but he has a good heart. I have high hopes for both of them."

"They sound amazing."

"Yeah. I like them—sometimes."

I nudged his shoulder. "You love them."

"Too much."

I wanted to meet them but I didn't want to rush him into anything. He already met my dad so I thought he would reciprocate.

He caught my look. "You still want to come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"Uh, if it's too soon, that's fine."

He raised an eyebrow. "I already invited you over before this whole fiasco. I want you to meet my family, Sadie."

I felt my heart race. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I know they'll like you."

"Even your sister?"

"She'll definitely like you."

"How can you be sure?"

"I've never introduced her to a girl before. She'll understand how important you are to me by that fact alone. You could be a complete bitch and she would still give you a chance."

I was touched by his words. "I would be your first?"

He rubbed his nose against mine. "Yeah."

"I—I don't know what to say."

"Say yes."

"Okay."

"And I'll cook for you."

"Should I bring something?"

"No. I'm taking care of you."

"Okay."

He continued to run his fingers down my arm, making my hair stand up. He grabbed my leg, wrapping it around his waist. We were snuggled close to each other. I could feel his heart race in his chest as he pressed against me.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

"Anything."

"How did you sleep around if you have a family at home?"

"Well, I would only bring girls around after the kids were asleep. The children never saw anyone. And most of the time, I would go back to the girl's apartment. The last thing I wanted was for the kids to be exposed to that lifestyle. Elisa never said anything about it, but I knew she wanted it to be that way too. When you have kids, everything changes. You do anything and everything for them."

"Elisa?"

"That's my sister."

"That's a beautiful name."

"She's a beautiful girl."

I smiled. I liked how much he loved his family. It reminded me of my brother and our relationship. "Well, she'll remarry eventually. Even if she does start supporting them on her own when she starts working again, she'll have a partner to help her raise the kids. She won't be alone."

His eyes turned sad. "I don't think that's going to happen."

"Oh?"

"It's been three years and she hasn't even looked at another man. They were high school sweethearts. I really don't think she's going to move on—ever. And I'm not going to push her. I've never lost a spouse. I can't imagine how painful that is."

I nodded.

"And she has kids to think about. I don't think she wants another man in their life besides me, which I don't mind. But when the kids refer to me as their dad, I feel horrible. Elisa always corrects them but they keep doing it. I don't think they remember their father."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah. I wish things were different. I hate seeing my sister in pain. It's the worst. She does a really good job of hiding it, but when it's just me and her, I can see it. Knowing I can't do anything just makes it unbearable."

I nodded. "I understand. Whenever my brother is suffering, I can't stand it."

"You understand perfectly."

"I do."

"So, this changes nothing?"

"I think I lo—like you even more."

"Good. I was hoping that was the case."

"I don't care about money, Ethan. You've probably figured that out by now."

"Yeah. It's another reason why I like you so much. And this isn't permanent. Just for another year or two."

"And I just thought it was because I was a virgin."

His eyes lit up. "Well, that helped. I enjoy knowing that I'm the only man you've been with. It makes me hard just thinking about it."

Knowing he was so attracted to me still surprised me. I still felt hideous compared to the beautiful man beside me. He could have whoever he wanted, but he only wanted me. The knowledge baffled me at times.

A loud knock on the door made us both flinch. I didn't want to answer it. If it was my brother, he would flip out. If it were my friends, they would want to talk about Ethan. And if it was Alex—I didn't want to think about that possibility.

"Expecting company?"

"It's probably my brother. He comes by to check on me."

He sighed. "I guess I'll have to talk to him eventually."

The knocking continued.

Ethan rose to his feet and dressed himself. "Let me talk to him."

"No. It has to be me. He'll be livid when he sees you."

"I don't care. I need to explain the situation to him. I'm not a coward. I need to clear my name."

I got up and dressed myself. We both left the bedroom and approached the front door. When I opened it, I felt my heart fall. It was Alex. Damn.

His eyes widened when he saw Ethan standing behind me.

I held Ethan back before he could rush Alex. "Don't touch him, Ethan."

He stilled at my command. His look of fury was reserved for Alex. The stare was intense. His body tightened as his muscles flexed. He was ready to rip Alex to pieces.

I turned back to Alex. "Please go away, Alex. I don't want to talk to you right now."

Ethan stepped in front of me. "Get the fuck away from her."

"Ethan," I snapped. "Don't hit him."

He didn't look at me. "Baby, I heard you."

Alex ignored him. "Sadie, please talk to me."

Ethan stepped closer to him. "You tricked her into spending the evening with you when you knew she was seeing me—her boyfriend. I never liked you. I've only been around you once and I saw you eye-fucking the shit out her. I caught you in her bedroom alone, holding her hand. I let all of that go because I thought you were her friend, but this shit is unforgivable. You aren't allowed to see Sadie anymore. You come near her, I'll fucking kill you."

Alex stepped back.

Ethan glared at him. "I mean it. You threw her friendship away when you disrespected both of us. I trust Sadie—but I have no trust for you. She's mine—mine. Only mine. Now fuck off."

Alex stepped to the side and looked at me over Ethan's shoulder. "How can you just take him back after what he did to you? What the hell is wrong with you, Sadie? This guy is an asshole. You're better than this."

I pulled Ethan back but he didn't budge. I moved in front of him but he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to his chest. I felt like I was on a leash, unable to get away. "Alex, that was a misunderstanding. He wasn't cheating on me."

He shook his head. "How can you believe this liar? When did you become so gullible?"

I took a deep breath. Alex was pissing me off. "It was his sister and her kids. That's it."

"Yeah, I bet," he said sarcastically.

Ethan moved forward but I held him back.

"This is none of your business anyway," I said. "Please stay out of it."

Ethan tightened his hold on my waist. "Now leave or I'll make you leave."

Alex stared at me for a long moment. I knew he felt helpless and angry, but he didn't know Ethan like I did. I knew he wasn't lying. He shook his head and walked away. After he got inside the elevator, I saw it move upwards. I knew he was going to see my brother.

We walked back into the apartment and I locked the door behind us.

"The second battle is coming."

Ethan paced in front of me, his anger evident in his posture. His arms shook and his back was rigid. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I knew he wasn't angry at me but the comment made me flinch. "My brother will be coming shortly."

"Great," he snapped.

"Ethan, we'll work this out."

"I know. We have to. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't."

"I'll never come between you and your brother. I refuse to do that. I have to make this work. I'm not as selfish as everyone thinks I am."

"He'll come around, Ethan. Just don't hit him."

"I would never."

"Well, you were about to punch Alex in the face."

"That's completely different. That fucker deserves to die. He doesn't care about you. He just wants to get his dick wet in your perfect pussy—my pussy. I'm the only one that gets to come inside you. That fucker needs to realize that. If I have to kill him, I will."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He immediately melted at my touch. After I inserted my tongue into his mouth, he moaned. When his body relaxed and he wasn't acting like a crazy asshole, I pulled away. "I'm yours, Ethan. The only way Alex will be with me is if it's against my will."

His eyes widened. "Don't even talk like that."

"Ethan, you never have to worry about that. Alex can do—say—whatever he wants. It changes nothing. I want to be with you—just you."

He rubbed his nose against mine. "Okay, baby."

"Please calm down."

"I'm calm."

"Promise that you'll never hit Alex."

He shook his head. "No."

"Ethan."

"I won't punch him unless he deserves it."

"Ethan," I pressed.

"I can't make that promise. If he touches you against your will and tries to force you to do anything, I'll kill him. I can't promise that I won't."

"Well, only then are you allowed to hit him."

"Deal."

"Okay."

As soon as the dust settled, my brother pounded on the door. "I'm coming in!" He inserted his key in the lock and opened it.

Ethan pulled away from me and took a deep breath. It was just one obstacle after another.

When my brother was inside, he marched up to Ethan. "Get the fuck away from my sister!" He pulled back his arm to punch him, but Ethan caught his hand and held it still. He didn't retaliate, which I was grateful for.

I looked at him. "Jared, calm down. I can explain everything."

"I'm not going to let you date this asshole. He's a cheater and will always be a cheater."

"Jared, listen to me," I begged.

My brother pulled back his hand and punched Ethan in the chin. Ethan took the hit but didn't strike back. His eyes shined with anger and I knew he was livid. He stepped back and missed the next punch aimed his way.

"Jared! Stop this now!" I stood in front of Ethan and blocked him with my body.

"Why are you protecting this asshole?" my brother snapped. "He's a coward hiding behind you."

I glared at my brother. "The only reason he hasn't punched you back is because he would never hurt my family. Now calm down and listen to me."

"You're wasting your time. I hate this fucker. I'm not going to change my mind."

"He didn't cheat on me."

"That's what this piece of shit said?"

"Jared, listen to me."

"No, you listen to me!" he snapped. "I'm your goddamn brother, your best friend. How can you possibly be with someone that I'm this uncomfortable with? Not only do I dislike him, but I hate him. I don't want him for you. You deserve better than this. You're completely disrespecting me in every way. I would never keep a girl around that you hated this much. Where is your loyalty, Sadie?"

"But your reasons for disliking him aren't valid," I said.

"Cheating is a valid reason."

"He didn't cheat on me. He was with his sister and her kids. I jumped to conclusions."

He rolled his eyes. "I know you're better than this, Sadie."

Ethan pushed me aside. "I'm not lying. I live with my sister and her kids. I'm with them all the time."

"And I'm supposed to believe that? That doesn't even make sense."

"My sister is a widow. I'm her provider. I can't afford to pay rent on two different places so we live together. I'm a second parent. If you need proof, come to dinner with us tomorrow. You can meet them."

My brother was quiet for a moment. "And how will I know if they are the same people Sadie saw you with?"

Ethan crossed his arms over his chest. "If I was married or had children, I think my sister would know about it," he snapped. "And my wife wouldn't lie for me so I could have an affair. If you gave me a chance, you would see that I've really changed and I'm not a piece of shit anymore. I care about Sadie. I won't hurt her like that."

Jared shook his head. "If you think I'm going to just blindly trust you, then you're an idiot."

"I didn't ask you to trust me. I'm asking for a chance. Let me prove you wrong, Jared. You huddle around my desk like a fly on the wall. You follow me after work to see where I go. When I'm not being stalked by you, I'm either with the kids or with Sadie. I have nothing to hide. Tap my phone, put a tracker on it, I don't give a shit. Just give me a chance—a real one."

Jared said nothing.

"Come to dinner with us tomorrow," I said. "You'll see that he's telling the truth. Ethan isn't lying. He's with me all the time. He sleeps with me every night."

Jared shifted his weight at my words. I knew that last bit of information made him uncomfortable, that I was having sex with Ethan. "I'll do it. I'll see if you are really everything you say you are, Ethan."

He nodded. "Thank you."

Jared turned and walked over the threshold. I followed him outside then closed the door behind us.

"Jared—"

"What?" he said, looking at me.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Please give him a chance. I really want this to work."

He shook his head. "Why do you pick the shitty ones? Why? This is like my worst nightmare. I have to protect you. You're asking me to go against everything I believe in. This is torture."

"I know," I whispered. "But please do this for me. I know I'm right about him."

"And what if you aren't?"

I was quiet for a moment. "I'll accept the consequences."

He sighed. "You don't get it. Whatever pain you thought you felt this week was nothing compared to my agony. It kills me to see you hurt. I can't take it. Please pick someone else—anyone else."

"I only love him."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Why do you have to make my life such a pain, Sadie?"

I smiled. "Because I'm your baby sister. It's in my nature."

"Sadie, I really hope that I'm wrong. I want to be wrong, but I really don't think that I am."

"I understand that you're just trying to take care of me, but please just be supportive. I'm not going to change my mind about this. You may as well just accept it."

His eyes sagged. "So you pick him over me?"

"I didn't say that."

"But when it comes down to it, you care more about being with Ethan than respecting my wishes. You would rather drift apart from me and spend all the holidays with that asshole. Every Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, than be with me—your brother."

"That isn't it at all."

"It seems that way."

I sighed. "Jared, give him one chance. If you still don't like him, I'll leave him."

His eyes widened. "You mean that?"

"If you really dislike him after you give him a chance—a real chance—then yes, I will. But you have to have a valid reason."

"Okay."

"So, you'll try?"

He sighed. "I just hope he doesn't break your heart, Sadie. Then this would be pointless."

"It's my decision, Jared."

"One chance."

"That's all I'm asking."

"Okay." He turned around and started to walk away.

I grabbed him and wrapped my arms around him. "Thank you."

He rested his head on my mine. "Yeah."

"I love you so much."

"I know." He kissed me on the forehead. "I love you too—even though you're fucking annoying."

I smiled. "Good."

"I'll see you tomorrow." He turned around and walked away.

I walked back into the apartment and saw Ethan right where I left him.

"How'd it go?" he asked.

"He said you have one chance to prove yourself to him—just one."

He smiled. "That's all I need, baby."

14

"I'm nervous," I said as I looked through all my clothes.

Ethan laughed. "You are really overreacting. Wear this."

It was a thong. "And what else?"

He picked up a slutty dress that I borrowed from Stephanie. I never wore it.

"Why would I want to dress like a whore when I meet your family?"

He smiled. "Oh. I thought this was just for me."

I rolled my eyes. "You aren't helping."

"Baby, just wear jeans and a shirt. Be casual. You look great in anything you wear."

"Okay."

"Now let's take a shower."

"Together?"

"Yeah. It saves water." He came up behind me and started to pull off my clothes. "I have to fuck you now before we go. If not, that's all I'll be thinking about all night."

"That will probably happen anyway."

He kissed my neck. "You're probably right. But I want to fuck you anyway." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom. After the water was running, he dragged me inside and we stood under the hot water. The water dripped down his body and I stared at the sight. His wide chest was flawless and his thin hips made my mouth water. I grabbed the soap and started to rub his body. When I reached his cock, I started to rub him vigorously.

"You're a natural," he said as he closed his eyes. "But I'm already horny as hell." He turned me around and placed my foot on the rim of the bathtub. "Don't worry, baby. I won't let you fall."

That was the last thing on my mind.

His arm reached down my chest and his two fingers pressed against my clit. He started to rub me aggressively. I was wet for him instantly. I reached behind me and grabbed the back of his neck, feeling his wet hair.

"Come on," I begged.

He kissed my neck. "Baby, you're so impatient."

"When it comes to you."

He pressed against me then slid inside me. "Let me know if I hurt you."

I moaned. "Yeah."

He grabbed my raised leg and held onto me as he moved inside me gently. His fingers continued to rub me, and I already felt myself crumbling. "Ethan."

He continued to move into me. Every thrust made me shake. Sex felt so good. I couldn't believe I never tried it before Ethan. I felt obsessed. He gripped me harder. I could tell by his pace he was trying not to come.

"Please don't come," I begged.

He pressed his lips against my ear. "You always come first. I won't disappoint."

I bit my lip. "Make me come. I want it."

"Not yet."

I moaned.

"I want you to come with me."

I felt my orgasm building. "I can't wait—I can't."

"Hold on."

"Ethan," I begged.

He continued to move into me gently. "I'll let you know."

I gripped his hair as I felt him slide into me. I tried to think of other things, but the feel of his chest against me and his massive cock moving inside me was making it difficult. "I can't last much longer."

He moved into me faster. "Come with me, baby. I'm almost there."

I screamed. "Ethan."

His breathing increased. "Okay. Baby, come. I want you to come hard."

I felt my body explode. "Oh god."

He gripped me tightly as he pounded into me as hard as he could. "Sadie, god. Fuck." He moaned loudly. "Yeah."

I leaned my head against his chest as the orgasm shot through my body. "Ethan."

He stiffened as he finished releasing himself into me. "Sadie."

I tried to catch my breath as the moment ended.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. We said nothing for a long time. The warm water fell down on us and made me feel sleepy. That was one of the best orgasms I've ever had. Knowing he was coming at the same time only heightened the experience.

"I love fucking you," he whispered.

"Yeah."

He laughed. "Yeah?"

"I mean, me too."

He kissed me on the head. "So you enjoyed that?"

"God, Ethan. That's a stupid question. I want you to do that to me every day."

"Deal, baby."

"Now I don't want to go."

"Me too." He pulled out of me then rinsed me before turning off the water. I wanted to scream from the loss of him. "We have to get ready."

I growled.

"We'll fuck when we get home."

"I'll hold you to that."

"That's unnecessary." He grabbed our towels and we dried off.

After we finished getting ready, we moved into the living room.

"Is your brother meeting us here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

I grabbed Koku from the ground then gave him a kiss. "I love you, honey."

He barked and wagged his tail.

Ethan patted him on the head. "Good boy."

Koku licked his hand.

"He likes you a lot, Ethan."

"I'm honored."

"But I think it's just because you give him treats."

"Well, maybe you should do the same."

"No! Then he'll be spoiled and fat."

"Fine. Let your dog hate you."

"He doesn't hate me."

Jared knocked on the door. I returned Koku to the ground and answered it. "Hey."

He nodded. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." I stepped out and Ethan followed me.

Ethan extended his hand to Jared. "Thanks for coming."

Jared stared at his hand for a moment. I waited for him to take it but he never did. It became very awkward. Finally, Jared grabbed it and shook it, giving him a chance like he promised. "Thank you for inviting me," he said politely.

I was so happy that I kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Yeah," he said. "Let's get this over with."

Ethan nodded. "My kids will love you."

"Your kids?" Jared asked.

"Sorry," Ethan said quickly. "It's a habit."

We walked to the elevator, and Ethan held my hand.

"Do you want me to carry your bag for you?"

"No, I got it," I said with a smile.

When we got into the elevator, it was quiet and tense. Normally, Ethan and I would be making out at that point, but that wouldn't be appropriate. We left the building then took a cab across town.

"How's the account?" Ethan asked Jared.

"It's okay. My secretary always loses my papers."

"Hannah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, she isn't bright."

"Well, she slept with you."

I glared at my brother. "Jared."

Jared looked away. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Ethan said. "But you should fire her. I'm surprised she still works there."

"I can't," Jared said. "I just can't."

Ethan nodded. "I get that."

"Do you have an assistant?" I asked.

"Yes," Ethan answered. "Couldn't imagine my life without one."

"Did you sleep with her?" I asked bluntly.

Ethan shook his head. "She's one of the few women I didn't sleep with. It would make things complicated and weird."

I nodded.

Jared said nothing.

"So, where did you learn to cook?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just figured it out. For the first year after Tom died, I had to make my sister eat. I was forced to. Plus, I cook dinner for the kids when my sister is sick or busy."

"That's sweet," I said.

Jared looked at Ethan. "Do you mind if I ask what happened?"

"Not at all," Ethan answered. "My brother-in-law was mugged and killed."

Jared was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you," he said.

I rested my hand on Ethan's thigh. I wish he didn't feel responsible for Tom's death. It wasn't his fault. If he was there may have been killed as well. I'm glad that he wants to support his sister and her kids, but I wish he didn't feel obligated to. "Does she know we're coming?"

"Yes," he said. "She's very excited."

"She is?" I asked.

"Yeah. She wouldn't shut up about it, actually. She asked me for every little detail about you. It's a good thing you didn't tell me your social security number or your bank account numbers."

I laughed. "That's cute."

"When it's not annoying," he said.

The cab stopped and we stepped out of the car. The small townhouse was exactly how I remembered it. It was painted blue with white shutters. It was a nice place. A perfect location to raise kids. It was a safe neighborhood that was quiet. Now I understood why Ethan couldn't afford his own place.

We walked up the steps and Ethan unlocked the door. "If you hear my sister scream, just ignore her."

"Okay," I said.

When we walked inside, there was a pile of dolls and fire trucks on the wooden floor. Ethan kicked them aside before I walked in. "Sorry about that. Kids are messy."

"It's okay," I said. Jared and I moved around the pile.

I heard the sound of small feet pounding the hardwood floor.

"Uncle!" a little girl screamed.

Ethan bent down and scooped her into his arms. "Yes, Uncle Ethan is here."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Where have you been?" she whined.

"Just doing grown up things," he said with a smile. "Becky, these are my friends." He turned to Jared. "This is Jared."

"Hi, Uncle Jared."

Ethan smiled awkwardly. "You can call him Jared, Becky."

Jared smiled. "Hello, Becky."

Ethan came over to me. "And this is Sadie. Say hello."

Her eyes widened as she stared at me. She immediately reached her hands out to me, asking me to hold her. "She's pretty!" she yelled.

Ethan smiled. "Yes, she is."

I held her in my arms and felt my cheeks blush. "Hello, honey."

"Are you my uncle's girlfriend?"

I didn't know what to say.

Ethan stepped closer to me. "Yes, she is, Becky."

"Yay!" she squealed. "I need more friends."

"I'll be your friend," I said.

A small boy came into the living room then stopped when he saw Jared. He stared at him for a long moment.

Ethan lifted him from the ground. "This is Jared. He's a friend, Tommy."

He said nothing.

Jared grabbed a toy from the ground. It was a small car. "Sweet car," he said as he held it.

Tommy's eyes widened. "I got it for my birthday," he said quietly.

"I'm jealous."

Tommy grabbed the car and held it to his chest. He averted his gaze.

Ethan carried Tommy to me. "And this is Sadie," he said with a smile. "Say hello to her."

"Hi," he said without looking at me.

"Hello, Tommy," I said with a smile. "You've been taking care of your sister?" He shrugged. "Jared is my brother."

Tommy looked at Jared again.

"And he takes good care of me," I continued. "He teases me too."

Tommy laughed. "I tease my sister all the time."

"Well, my brother can give you pointers," I said.

Tommy's eyes widened. "Ooh!"

I smiled. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you that."

He looked at Jared with a smile on his face. I could tell my brother liked these children already. He always liked kids and I knew he would be a good father. He was just a natural.

Becky looked at me. "He put syrup in my hair and Mommy was mad."

"I bet," I said with a laugh.

"Ethan?" I heard a female voice say. It gave me chills. Her voice was beautiful.

When I saw her, I felt my palms sweat. I was so nervous to meet her. She had long brown hair like mine and her blue eyes shined like stars. She had wide lips and a beautiful smile. Her pale skin contrasted against her dark hair. She was the same size as me, very petite. To say she was beautiful was an understatement. She was gorgeous.

She smiled when she saw me. "I'm so happy to meet you!" She rushed to me and pulled Becky from my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. "Finally!"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Must you embarrass me, Elisa?"

She ignored him. "Thank you for coming. I've very delighted that you're here."

I felt my cheeks blush. "Thank you."

"I was worried my brother would die alone."

Ethan sighed. "You need a filter."

She held my hands in her own then released them. She looked at Jared. "You must be Sadie's brother?"

He nodded awkwardly. He placed his hands in his pockets and stared at her with wide eyes. In fact, Jared couldn't stop staring at her. I could tell that he was immediately smitten with her. Hell, if I was gay I would be into her too.

"Uh, yeah. Sadie and I are related."

I shook my head, embarrassed for my brother.

Elisa grabbed him and hugged him tightly. "Any friend of Ethan and Sadie is a friend of mine."

His hands hung limply at his sides then he returned her embrace, patting her on the back awkwardly. "Yeah, thanks."

Ethan leaned near me. "Is he always like this around pretty girls?"

"No. Well, at least I hope not. He sounds stupid."

"Yeah, he does," he said with a laugh.

Elisa pulled away. "You work with Ethan?"

"Yeah," he said quietly.

She clapped her hands together. "That's wonderful. I'm so glad."

Jared nodded.

"Well, please come in and take seat," she said. "Try to ignore my children. They can be attention seekers."

We moved into the living room and sat on the couches. It was a petite apartment but was decorated beautifully. It was obvious that Elisa had designed the whole place. The dressers and table were white and the couches were a light blue. It looked like a page in the Pottery Barn catalog.

"Your home is beautiful," I said.

"Thank you," she said happily. "Ethan and I worked very hard."

Ethan placed Tommy on the ground then sat beside me. "We're going to start making dinner. How does spaghetti sound?"

Becky jumped in the air. "I love spaghetti!"

"Well, that's one vote," Ethan said. "Now what does my beautiful girlfriend want?"

I blushed.

He raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. I knew what he was thinking.

"That sounds delicious. And thank you for the compliment."

"That's what I thought." He kissed me on the cheek. "It'll be ready soon."

He left the living room and walked into the kitchen with Elisa.

Becky climbed on the couch with her doll. She sat on my lap and started to comb the doll's hair. I didn't mind.

Jared took the seat next to me. He said nothing for a long time. "His sister is nice."

I smiled. "Yeah. She's gorgeous."

He nodded. "Um, yeah."

"I like her."

"Me too. I like her kids also."

"Her husband passed away three years ago." I don't know why I volunteered this information. I guess I wanted him to know that she had been single for a long time.

He nodded.

Jared stared at the pictures around the apartment. Most of them were Ethan and the kids, and a few were Elisa with the children. Some of the pictures had a man holding the kids as small infants. I assumed this was her husband.

Tommy came to Jared and grabbed his hand. "Play with me."

He smiled. "What do you want to play?"

"Cars," he said.

Jared moved to the floor and started playing with the cars with him. They didn't say anything, just moved the cars across the floor. I stared at the little girl on my lap. Her brown hair reminded me of Ethan's. She was beautiful like her mother. Tommy reminded me of his father, or at least what I had seen in his pictures.

When I smelled the sauce and garlic bread from the kitchen, my mouth started to water.

Elisa came in. "Dinner's ready." When she saw Jared playing on the ground with Tommy, she stared at them for a moment, a smile on her lips.

I rose from the couch and carried Becky with me. "I'm starving."

Elisa snapped out of her reverie. "Good, because Ethan always cooks too much. We always have leftovers for days. He's determined to make me and the children fat."

I smiled. "That sounds like him."

Jared grabbed Tommy from the ground and carried him into the kitchen. He and I put the kids in their booster seats then pushed their chairs closer to the table.

Ethan stared at me with a smile on his face but didn't say anything. He placed the food on the table then grabbed my face, kissing me hard. "Thank you for coming."

I smiled. "I'm touched that you invited me."

He pulled my chair out and helped me sit down. He kissed my head before he took the seat next to me.

Jared sat on the other side of me, directly across from Elisa. Her two children sat next to her, across from me and Ethan. We started to eat and I was surprised how good it was.

"This is great, Ethan," I said.

"Why do you sound surprised?" he asked.

I smiled. "You just don't seem like a cooker."

Elisa shook her head. "I taught him everything he knows."

He rolled his eyes. "She's just jealous that I'm better in the kitchen than she is."

She glared at him for a moment before she continued to eat. She looked at Jared. "So, did you go to school with Ethan as well?"

"No. I went to Harvard for my bachelors and my masters."

I rolled my eyes. I knew he was trying to impress her with his credentials. Elisa didn't strike me as a person who cared about stuff like that. I wished Jared would shut up.

"That's impressive," she said with a smile. "You must be a genius."

He shrugged. "Well—uh—I don't know about that."

"You don't sound like one right now," I said.

My brother glared at me then returned his look to Elisa. "Did you go to college?"

"No," she said. "It wasn't for me. My brother got all the brains."

Ethan wiped his mouth. "I hate hearing you say that. You're smarter than me, Elisa. You just aren't interested in academics. There's a difference."

She looked at me. "My brother is bipolar. He can be such a jerk to me then be the sweetest guy a second later. I hope you don't understand what I'm talking about."

I shook my head. "Fortunately, no, I don't. He's always sweet to me."

"Well, that's because he's in love with you."

I stiffened at the table. Did she just say that? Ethan flinched at her words but didn't say anything. I couldn't tell if he was embarrassed or mad.

Elisa looked at Jared again, ignoring her brother's startled reaction. "So, what do you do for fun?"

"Uh, volunteering at the homeless shelter, reading to the blind, and running in charity marathons."

I shook my head. My brother was being a pretentious douche right now. Obviously, none of that was true. He was acting like a total idiot. Ethan stared at him incredulously. I wanted to call my brother out, but since he had never acted this way around anyone before, I decided not to embarrass him. But he would hear about it later.

"Wow," Elisa said. "So you're really busy, then?"

"Well, no," he said. "I still have a lot of free time to do things."

Elisa turned to me. "Do you do those activities too?"

I laughed. "No. I barely have time to take care of myself."

She smiled. "Well, at least you're honest about it." She looked at Jared. "You sound pretty amazing. I thought my brother and husband were the greatest men I've ever met, but now they have a rival."

My brother blushed—actually blushed. I've never seen him do that. He's usually a cocky asshole that thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. I wondered if he was just trying to sleep with Elisa but then I realized that my brother would never do that to me—even if he still didn't like Ethan.

She looked at me. "What do you do for a living?"

Ethan shook his head. "I've already told you everything about her."

"Don't be rude," she snapped. "I still want to know."

I smiled. "I've been working at my dad's bookstore. I'm trying to get a job writing for a magazine or a freelance company."

"Any luck?" she asked.

"No," I said sadly.

Ethan rubbed my back. "You'll find something eventually."

"Thanks."

Ethan pushed his plate away. He ate all of his food at lightning speed.

"You eat fast," I said.

"Well, I'm a man. I need the sustenance."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, caveman."

I looked at the kids across the table. Becky's face was covered in sauce and Tommy had a noodle hanging from his mouth. The sauce was everywhere.

Elisa caught my look. "I don't even bother anymore."

Ethan shook his head. "Looks like these two will be getting a bath tonight."

Becky grimaced. "No."

"Yes," Ethan said. "Don't argue with me."

She pouted her lips but said nothing. It was obvious that both children respected Ethan as the man of the house. They listened to him. I could tell that he was a great guardian and a loving uncle. It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen.

When everyone was finished, I grabbed the plates and Jared helped me. He never offered to help me clean at home even though I had cooked him dinner too many times to count. I stared at him for a moment before I continued.

Elisa grabbed Jared's arm. "Don't worry about it, honey. I can clean up."

He smiled. "I insist."

We both walked into the kitchen and started cleaning the dishes. When we were done, we put them in the dishwasher.

I leaned close to him. "Stop making an idiot of yourself."

He growled. "I know."

"Then stop."

"I don't know what the hell I was doing."

"Be yourself."

"I'm trying."

"Then what was that bogus story about you being perfect at everything? And stop telling people you went to Harvard. You sound like an ass."

"It just came out."

"She's a regular person so be normal."

"Easier said than done," he said with a sigh.

We washed our hands then returned to the dining room. Before I could sit down, Ethan pulled me onto his lap.

"You didn't have to do that, baby."

"I wanted to. You cook so I clean."

"You still didn't have to."

"I know."

"Thank you anyway."

I kissed him on the lips then pulled away. I wanted to kiss him longer but I knew the kids were around. I didn't want to make them uncomfortable.

We moved into the living room and sat in front of the television. Ethan and I sat on one couch and Jared and Elisa sat on the other. Jared kept his distance from her but I could tell he was nervous.

"Your house—is—nice," he stuttered.

"Thank you," she said with a smile. "You're great with Tommy. He's normally terrified of strangers. He must like you, Jared."

He blushed. "He's a good kid."

"I would like to think so."

"You're a wonderful mom."

Now she blushed. "Thank you. But I can't take all the credit. Without Ethan, I don't know what I would have done." Her voice contained the depression that Ethan mentioned before. "It's been hard without my husband." She stared at her hands then moved further away on the couch. I think that simple move told Jared everything he needed to know. She still wasn't ready to move on. I felt bad for my brother.

Jared nodded but didn't say anything.

Ethan held me close to him then pressed his lips against my ear. "Your brother has a thing for my sister?"

"He makes it obvious, doesn't he?"

"A little."

"Please don't be mad at him."

"I'm not. Every friend I've ever had has wanted to get with my sister. It doesn't surprise me."

"Well, he wouldn't make her uncomfortable on purpose."

"I know."

"I'm sorry he's acting like such an idiot."

He laughed. "It's fine. My sister can see right through it. She hasn't met a single guy that hasn't fallen in love with her as soon as they saw her. She could have whoever she wanted."

"She's beautiful."

"Too beautiful for her own good."

"I can see the resemblance."

He raised an eyebrow. "You think I look like a girl?"

I laughed. "No. But you both are very attractive. Are your brothers the same way?"

His eyes narrowed in anger. I knew I said the wrong thing. "What does it matter?"

"I—I was just wondering."

He looked away. "I'm the ugly one in the family."

"What? I find that hard to believe."

"Well, it's true," he snapped.

"Ethan, I have no interest in anyone but you."

"It better stay that way."

"It will."

We watched television for a while and Tommy asked Jared to play with him again. Jared moved to the floor and they raced their cars together. Tommy was laughing hysterically when his car won. Jared was letting him win, but Tommy was too excited to notice. When I glanced at Elisa, I saw the look on her face. She was smiling but I could see the sadness in her eyes. It was obvious that she missed her husband—her family.

"See what I mean?" Ethan whispered.

"Yeah."

"She'll never move on."

"I can tell."

Elisa rose from the couch then disappeared down the hallway. Ethan kissed me on the forehead. "I'll be back. Can you watch the kids?"

"Of course."

He followed his sister down the hallway.

Jared stared at the hallway, noticing that Elisa left. He looked at me and we shared a look. I knew what he was thinking. He finally found her—the one.

15

When we got into the cab, Jared turned to Ethan. "Is Elisa okay?"

Ethan nodded. "Yeah, she's fine."

Jared nodded then looked out the window.

Ethan held my hand and caressed my knuckles with his thumb. His family was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Since they were thrown together because of a tragedy, it made me sad, but it was adorable at the same time. Ethan wasn't an uncle to those kids—he was a dad. And his sister depended on him like a spouse. Not only did he provide for his niece and nephew, but he raised them. His sister was still depressed and he helped her get through it every day. Ethan was an amazing person.

When we got to the building, we all stepped into the elevator.

Jared didn't look at us. "We should all go out to dinner."

I raised an eyebrow. "The three of us?"

"No. Elisa and the kids can come."

Ethan stared at him. "You have a thing for my sister?"

Jared shifted his weight, uncomfortable. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. But if you are just trying to sleep with her, then back off. I'll fucking kill you."

The anger in his voice even made me step back. "Ethan," I hissed.

Ethan ignored me. "You were livid when you thought I was using Sadie. You understand where I'm coming from perfectly."

He nodded. "That isn't my intention."

Ethan looked away. "Good."

"Has she dated anyone since her husband passed away?" he asked.

Ethan sighed. "No. And she doesn't want to. I suggest you find someone else. My sister is still mourning her loss. I don't think she'll ever recover—at least not enough to date someone. I suggest you look elsewhere."

My brother was quiet for a moment. "I would still like it if we all went out to dinner together."

Ethan stared at my brother. "You're a nice guy, smart, successful, and I'm sure you're loyal, but you are wasting your time with Elisa. She has kids—remember that."

"I'm perfectly aware of that," he snapped. "I'm not blind."

Ethan stared at him.

"I'm not asking her on a date. Shit, can't we just go out together? I'm not trying to make a move."

"And what do you expect to happen?" Ethan asked.

"Nothing," Jared said. "I just want to see her again."

I squeezed Ethan's hand. "Give him a chance."

Ethan looked at me. "This is my sister we're talking about."

"My brother would never hurt me like that. It's okay."

He sighed. "I'll ask her if she wants to do something. If she says no, then drop it forever."

Jared nodded. "That's fine."

The elevator doors opened and we walked out.

"Good night," I said.

"Bye," Jared said.

"Night," Ethan said over his shoulder.

After we walked into the apartment, Koku came over to us and scratched our legs. I scratched him behind the ears and gave him lots of kisses.

"I need to take him outside to do his business."

"Let's go," he said.

"You don't have to come."

"I don't want you going outside by yourself."

"Well, I've been doing it for a long time."

"Well, those days are over," he snapped. "Deal with it."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, caveman."

"What did you call me?"

"Sometimes you act like a caveman."

"I thought I was a crazy asshole?"

"Yeah, that too."

"It sounds like you don't like me."

"That's definitely not the case." I grabbed Koku's leash and we left the apartment. I thought about what his sister said about Ethan being in love with me. I wondered if she inferred that on her own or if Ethan told her. I wanted to ask but I decided not to. If he didn't love me, then the conversation would be incredibly awkward.

"So, what did your sister say when she left the living room?" I asked.

He sighed. "She just misses Tom. It's hard for her to see me and other men play with her kids, knowing they'll never know their own father."

"So she didn't say anything about Jared?"

"No."

"Does she like him?"

He shrugged. "Like I said, she didn't mention him."

"I think my brother really likes her."

"No, he's just obsessed with her beauty like every other guy."

"I really don't think so."

"Well, I do. I won't let anyone fuck with my sister or her feelings. If Jared tries anything with her, it's only with my permission and my presence. I mean it, Sadie."

He sounded so angry. He only acted crazy like this when it came to me. It made me realize that he cared about me just as much as his sister. I was honored that he treasured me so much. "Okay."

"I couldn't care less that Jared is your brother. This is my sister. I'll beat the shit out of him if he shows up on our doorstep, calls her, does anything to upset her at all."

"I got it, Ethan." I grabbed his face and kissed him. "I'll make it clear to Jared."

He sighed. "Thank you."

After Koku did his business, we went back inside.

"Are you staying over?" I asked.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well, you haven't been home in a while. I know you have other responsibilities—like the kids."

"I hate sleeping apart from you."

"Me too."

"Would you be willing to sleep there?"

My eyes widened. "You would be comfortable with that? Would they see me in the morning?"

"Baby, I introduced you to them for a reason."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Then yes, I would sleep there."

"Good. That makes my life a little easier."

"Can we have sex?" I asked hopefully.

"As long as you're quiet."

"I can't promise anything."

He rubbed my nose with his. "Can we sleep there tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Elisa is scared to be alone at night."

"Why didn't you say something before?"

He sighed. "She's scared that someone is going to break in and kill the kids. She's never really recovered from what happened to Tom. She just feels better when I'm there. She knows I can protect her."

"I feel horrible now."

"Don't," he said firmly. "Elisa understands that I have my own life. I've already given her everything. And she knows I'm happy. She would never try to take that away. She hasn't said anything to me but I know she's scared. I know her better than anyone. I would like to sleep there sometimes during the week."

"That's fine with me if it's okay with her."

"She won't care in the least. In fact, she'll be happy."

"Okay." I grabbed a bag and walked into my room. I grabbed a few extra clothes and essentials so I could leave them there.

"Will Koku be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll come by in the morning."

"Let's go."

We left the building and took a cab back to his townhouse. When we walked inside, Ethan immediately said, "Elisa, it's me. I'm home."

She came out of the living room wearing her pajamas. Even without makeup, she was still beautiful. Her hair was pulled back and her clothes were baggy. "You're staying here?" she said hopefully.

"Yeah."

She smiled. I could see the relief in her face. "Well, have a good night. I just put the kids to bed."

I smiled. "Good night."

Elisa patted my shoulder. "Thank you for coming back. You're always welcome here."

I'd just met his sister but I already liked her immensely. She could tell that her brother was happy so she was ecstatic for him. I loved their relationship. They always put each other first.

We walked down the hallway and entered his bedroom. It was small with just a bed and a few dressers. I assumed this was the smallest room in the house. It astounded me how much Ethan was willing to sacrifice for his sister and her kids.

"I like your room," I said as I put my bag down.

He smiled. "I know it isn't much, but I don't need a lot."

"I think it's perfect." There was a picture of him and his parents on the nightstand. Well, I assumed it was his parents. The room was spotless, to my surprise. I always thought guys were pigs. Jared was. I sat on the bed and he stripped his clothes from his body.

He opened his nightstand drawer. "Please don't ever open this drawer."

I raised an eyebrow.

He grabbed a gun and pointed it at the ground. "The safety is on but it's loaded."

My eyes widened. "Okay."

"I just had to warn you."

"Why do you have a gun, Ethan?"

"You never know, Sadie. I have to protect my family. And Elisa was insistent that I get one. In fact, she made me. She's too scared to have one of her own because she's afraid to use it. I don't mind. It helps her sleep well at night."

"Do you know how to use it?"

He nodded. "I've taken some classes and went to the shooting range."

"So, you're like James Bond?" I teased.

"Not really. But if that gets you in the mood, then sure."

"I'm always in the mood for you."

He grabbed my shirt and pulled it off then unclasped my bra. He lifted me further up the bed then rested my head on the pillow. My pants were off in a flash. I was so turned on by his naked body that I didn't care that his sister was watching television in the living room.

He separated my legs, pinning them back, then inserted himself within me. I tried not to gasp but it still came out as a moan.

"Shh, baby."

I bit my lips and remained quiet.

He rocked into me slowly, but deeply, reaching his entire length inside me. I grabbed his face and kissed him, breathing into his mouth. I knew it was the only way I would stay quiet. My legs started to shake as the orgasm hit me. I bit my lip and controlled myself. Ethan knew I was coming and moved into me faster, giving me the greatest amount of pleasure he possibly could. When I was done, I ran my fingers through his hair and caught my breath.

Ethan stared into my eyes as he moved within me. He pressed his forehead against mine then moaned when he reached his threshold. He reached all the way inside me as he released himself. "Baby," he whispered.

"Ethan."

When he was done, he stayed on top of me, kissing me gently. The taste of the sweat on his lips was surprisingly sweet. Ethan pulled out of me then lied beside me. He reached across the bed to open the door.

I watched him in confusion. When the door to the hallway was opened, he returned to the bed and held me in his arms.

"Why did you open the door?"

"So I can hear everything," he said as he nuzzled my neck. "Don't worry. My sister never comes in my room. If she needs something, she'll text me."

"Okay."

He pulled me to his chest then kissed my forehead. "I'm so happy that I found you, Sadie."

His words clenched my heart. "Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"I—nothing."

"Good night, baby."

"Good night."

16

"Uncle Ethan!"

I opened my eyes immediately, recognizing that adorable voice.

"Wake up!" Becky cried.

Ethan moaned then rolled over, blocking me from sight with his body. He kept the blanket up to his chin. "Hmm?"

"French toast!"

"French toast what?"

"I want French toast!"

"Well, that's not how you ask for it."

She sighed. "Fine. Uncle Ethan, will you please make me French toast for breakfast?"

"No."

"Hey! I asked nicely."

"I have to work."

"Uncle Ethan!" she whined.

"Is your mother awake?"

"No."

He sighed. "Give me a minute."

"Yay!" She left and walked down the hall. Ethan leaned over and closed the door behind her.

"That was too cute," I whispered. I kissed him on the lips then the neck.

He smiled. "After a few years, it's just annoying."

"You're amazing, Ethan."

"Thanks, baby."

I crawled on top of him and straddled him. "We have time?"

He moaned. "No, she'll be back."

I leaned over him and inserted him inside me. "I'll make it quick."

He moaned and leaned back. "Okay."

I rocked him from above and shoved him deep inside me. Ethan tried to stay quiet but his breathing had increased. My hands rested on his chest as I rocked into him. He sat up then guided my hips with his hands.

"Baby, I'm going to come."

"Me first."

"Come on."

I bit my lips as the feeling rocked through me. "Ethan," I whispered.

"Yeah, baby." He moved into me harder as he had his moment. "Yeah."

It was the quickest round of sex we ever had. I just wanted to get off and so did he. It was a great way to start the morning.

"Baby, you're so fine."

I smiled. "So are you."

"Uncle Ethan!"

Ethan sighed. "Damn." He rose from the bed then dressed himself. "Get ready. I'll be back then I have to get to work."

"Okay."

Ethan left the bedroom and walked into the kitchen. He was gone for a while before he returned.

"So, did she like it?"

"She better."

"You are so cute."

He smiled. "So, kids turn you on?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no."

"I mean, men with kids turn you on."

I shrugged. "I guess. I just think that I admire you for being such a great brother and man. That's a really big turn on."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Ethan?"

"Hmm?" he asked as he fixed his tie.

"Why haven't you ever been in a relationship before?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I didn't want to settle down and have a family. I've been living with one for three years."

I felt my heart stop. "Does that mean you want one now?"

He stopped and looked at me. "I thought that was obvious, Sadie. I've stopped sleeping around, cut booty calls out of my life, introduced you to my family—I think I've made my feelings and intentions very clear."

I smiled. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything, baby."

So he did love me. Clearly, he did. I just couldn't bring myself to ask.

He looked at his watch. "I have to get to work."

I grabbed my bag then fixed my hair in his mirror. "Okay."

He opened the door for me and we walked out. I stared at his ass as he walked in front of me. I loved that thing. He looked so handsome in a suit. When we reached the front door, Elisa emerged from her room with Tommy in her arms.

"Going to work?" she asked.

He nodded.

"Thanks for making Becky breakfast. I'm sorry she woke you."

"I'm used to it."

She patted his shoulder. "Have a good day."

"You too."

She hugged me. "I'll see you later, Sadie."

"Bye."

We left the townhouse then walked to the street.

"I'll see you later," I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I have to go back to the apartment and you have to go to work."

"I'm taking you home first."

"It's daytime. I'll be fine."

His eyes narrowed at me. "I will take you to home then to work. Don't argue with me."

"Ethan, I'll be fine."

He grabbed my arm then waved down a cab. When we were inside, he held my hand.

"I don't want you to be late."

"I won't. And don't worry about me."

I decided to drop it. He couldn't be argued with.

When we came to the apartment, I checked on Koku then waved down another cab. When we finally arrived at the bookstore, Ethan walked me to the door.

"Have a good day, baby."

"You too."

"Have dinner with me tonight."

"Okay."

He kissed me. "I'll see you tonight." He turned away then walked up the sidewalk. He disappeared from the street then I walked inside.

I had a huge smile on my face when I approached the counter.

My dad looked at me. "I'm glad you two worked everything out."

"Yeah, we're good."

He nodded. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"Well, Ethan and I were going to dinner."

"Oh, nevermind, then."

"We can all go." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I knew Ethan wouldn't be happy about it, but I felt bad. I knew my dad was lonely even if he would never admit it. Jared spent time with him, watching sports and action movies, but I knew my brother couldn't be with him all the time.

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude."

"No, you're always welcome, Dad."

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"I don't know. We haven't decided yet."

"So, have you told your mother about him?"

"Uh, no."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just not ready to."

"How is she doing?" My dad tried to act cool, but I knew he was still in love with my mom. It was odd. My mother was completely indifferent to him, but my dad was obsessed with her. I really couldn't figure out why.

"She's good. Busy."

"Your mother was always on the go."

"Yeah. She's crazy."

"No. She's just passionate."

"Same difference." I opened the register and started to count the money from the day before.

The bell over the door went off and I looked up. My heart fell when Alex walked in. This seriously couldn't be happening.

He raised his hands in the air before I could speak. "Just hear me out."

My dad raised an eyebrow. "What's going on here?"

Alex only had eyes for me. "I'm sorry about everything. Please just hear me out."

I felt my anger explode. I just wanted Alex to leave me alone. After everything he did to me, I was livid. "Get the fuck out!"

My dad stared at me in shock. "Sadie, I better not hear you talk like that again."

"Shut up, Dad!"

He stepped back, startled.

I marched to Alex and pushed him. "I love Ethan, not you. Please leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you. Jared accepts him, so you need to get over this, Alex. Nothing will ever happen between us. Get out of my life and stay there."

He sighed. "Sadie—"

"Leave!"

"Sadie—"

"Do you want me to call Ethan?"

"He's at work."

Damn. I couldn't call him when he was at work. I knew exactly what he would do. He would leave work to come kick Alex's ass. Since Ethan needed his job to support his family, I couldn't bother him. It wasn't worth it. "So you decided to come now because you knew he couldn't protect me?"

"Protect you? I'm not trying to hurt you, Sadie."

"Fuck you, Alex."

"Please give me another chance—to be your friend. Please."

"You don't deserve another chance after what you did—three times."

"I had your best interest at heart."

I rolled my eyes. "You are so selfish and you know it."

"I won't bring it up again, okay? Please don't cut me out of your life. Your brother has been my friend since I can remember. Please don't ostracize me from everyone that I'm close to."

"You can see Jared on your own time."

"Sadie, please don't be cold."

"Even if I wanted to forgive you, there's nothing I can do. Ethan doesn't like you and he has a very good reason not to. I won't be able to change his mind."

"I promise I'll never pursue you again."

My dad looked uncomfortable. "I'll leave you two alone."

I glared at him. "Dad—stay."

He flinched. "Okay."

I looked at Alex. "I want you to leave."

"Please," he begged. "I don't want to lose your friendship."

I sighed. "Alex, I just need some space right now. You keep coming after me, apologizing to me, but it just makes me just as angry. It pisses off Ethan too. Give me some time and we'll talk about it again. Your obsessive behavior just makes me trust you even less."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Don't be like this."

I shook my head. "Just go, Alex."

"No."

I felt my frustration erupt like a volcano. I looked at my dad. "Please ask Alex to leave."

"What? Alex is like a son to me."

"And I'm like a daughter to you. He tried to break up me and Ethan because he wanted to be with me, and now he won't give me the space I ask for."

My dad shrugged. "People do crazy things when they are in love. I can't blame a guy for trying."

I glared at him. "I thought you liked Ethan."

"Of course I do."

"Well, Alex was very disrespectful toward him."

My dad stepped closer to us. "Sadie, this is your problem."

"How can you say that? You're my father. You're supposed to protect me."

"And I always will," he said. "But is Alex trying to hurt you?" I didn't say anything. "It looks like he's trying to work out your differences, and he's willing to do anything to prove that he's sorry. So, no, I don't think there's anything I can do for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Worthless."

"What was that?" he snapped.

"Nothing," I said quickly.

Alex looked at me. "Sadie, please?"

I shook my head. "Just give me some space, Alex. I'll think about it."

"What if I talk to Ethan?"

I shook my head vigorously. "Stay away from him, Alex. If you think I'm being unreasonable, then you won't want to face him."

Alex ran his fingers through his hair. "Well...okay then. I guess I'll talk to you later...hopefully."

I crossed my arms over my chest.

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry."

I said nothing for a moment. "I know."

He turned around and left the store.

My dad stared at me for a long moment. "Ever since Ethan came into your life, a lot of drama has happened."

"It's just bad timing."

"It sounds like a lot of work."

"He's worth it."

"Sadie—"

"Not you too," I said with a sigh. I knew what he was going to say.

"Just be careful. Your mother and I were the same way."

I narrowed my eyes. He never talked about his relationship with my mom. "What do you mean?"

"She and I—we were passionate. It's a good thing but it also made our relationship extremely volatile. Like it would combust at any moment."

"I'm not worried about it."

He shrugged. "I'm just letting you know."

"Well, Ethan and I are wonderful together. We've just had some trouble along the way."

"It's pretty early to experience trouble."

"Dad, what are you trying to say?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Nothing."

I sighed. "You'll see at dinner, Daddy."

He said nothing.

We worked the rest of the afternoon until the night worker came in to take over. We knew the store wasn't busy in the evening, but we liked to stay open anyway. I told my dad to meet at my apartment later that evening. We could decide where to go then. I wanted to text Ethan at work to let him know of the change of plans, but it completely slipped my mind. After I got home and showered, I took Koku out to do his business then waited for Ethan to come over. When I heard a knock on the door, I felt my heart explode. I practically ran to answer it.

When I saw him standing on the threshold, I was about to jump into his arms but I stopped. He was holding a vase of red roses. They were beautiful.

"Awe, Ethan."

He smiled. "I'm glad you like them, baby."

I took it from his hand and smelled the flowers. They smelled fresh.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

I placed them on the counter and noticed the card taped to the vase. I opened the small envelope and read the print.

I'll love you until the last one dies.

I wasn't sure what to make of it. Did he just tell me that he loved me? I wasn't sure.

Ethan stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Uh, thank you."

"They are all beautiful, huh?"

"Yeah."

He ran his hands down the stems until he pulled one out. He dropped it on the counter and it made a loud noise. It was solid. I raised an eyebrow. I had no idea what was going on.

"Baby, this one is fake."

I grabbed the plastic rose and felt the texture. It was made of cloth. "Oh." I thought about it for a moment then it dawned on me. "Then it won't die."

He smiled. "Exactly."

"So that means—"

"I'll love you forever."

My heart jumped into my throat at the revelation. Tears bubbled under my eyes and I felt myself become dizzy. It was so sweet and wonderful. I couldn't believe it. "I—I love you too, Ethan."

"Do you really?" he asked as he rubbed his nose against mine. "I've loved you this whole time. I just didn't want to scare you off."

"Ethan, I loved you the first time we made love."

"Good. Me too."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"Well, believe it, baby."

"I love you so much." The tears poured down my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I never thought I would find you. I've never felt this way for anyone. I thought I was going to die alone."

He kissed me on the head. "I feel the same way."

"There were so many times I wanted to tell you the truth."

"I thought my sister was going to give me away—that brat."

I smiled. "I was hoping it was true."

"It definitely was." He grabbed my face and kissed me. "Now let me make love to you."

I melted at his words. "Uh—we can't."

"What?"

"I'm so sorry. My dad is coming to dinner. He'll be here any minute."

He stepped back. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I'm sorry. He just seemed so lonely this afternoon. I couldn't say no."

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Please don't be mad."

"Baby, I'm not. I like your dad. I don't have a problem spending time with him. I—I just wanted this night to be about us. That's why I planned this. If I had known your dad was coming, I would have rescheduled. I wanted it to be special."

I hugged him. "It was special, Ethan—amazing."

"I've never told a girl I loved her before. I wanted it to be perfect."

"It was. Nothing could have been better. I'm just so happy right now."

He pulled away. "I guess we have the rest of our lives, right?"

Another tear fell down my cheek. "We do."

"Okay."

I jumped on my toes.

He smiled at me. "Excited?"

"I'm just so happy."

"You're so adorable. I can't believe someone so amazing loves me."

I shook my head. "I have no idea where this is coming from. I'm not particularly beautiful, but I'm not ugly. I'm decently intelligent. I'm—nothing special."

His eyes turned angry. "I never want to hear you say that again. You're absolutely extraordinary—amazing. I wake up every morning knowing I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the world."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear you talk like that ever again."

"Okay."

He grabbed my face and kissed me. "So, when are you going to tell your girlfriends?"

"As soon as you leave."

"Do they know about our breakup fiasco?"

"No."

"That's a relief."

"Yeah."

"Well, schedule a time to see them when I'm busy. I like to spend time with you. You keep blowing me off for your brother, your friends, then we had to spend time with my family."

I smiled. "We have the rest of our lives, right?"

"Yeah, that's true." He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. "How was your day?"

I felt my heart stop. I really didn't want to mention the fiasco with Alex, especially since I didn't call Ethan liked I said I would. The only reason why I didn't was because I had good intentions. I didn't want Ethan to lose his job over something so stupid. But I didn't want to tell him about it now after he told me he loved me, and especially since we were about to go out with my dad. I really doubted my father would bring it up...so I decided to save it for the morning. "Good. How was yours?"

"Filled with anxiety. I was nervous how tonight would go."

"I've loved you this whole time. I thought that was obvious."

He shrugged. "You can never be certain."

The knock on the door broke our moment.

Ethan sighed as he dropped his hand. I walked to the door and opened it.

"Hey," my dad said happily. He was wearing a collared shirt and jeans.

Ethan walked over and shook his hand. "Hello, Mr. Montague. Thanks for coming tonight."

"Well, thanks for the invite," he said as he dropped his hand.

"So what do you want to eat, Dad?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'll eat anything. You know me."

Ethan turned to me. "What do you want, baby?"

I smiled. I liked that he was still affectionate with me in front of my father. "I like Italian."

"Italian it is."

My dad leaned toward Ethan. "That's a bad way to start a relationship. She'll start to think she has all the power."

Ethan glanced at me. "I think it's too late for me."

I smiled. "Yes, it is."

Ethan sighed. "Damn."

My father clapped him on the shoulder. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Ethan said with a laugh.

"You know I can hear you," I said.

My dad shrugged. "I had to warn him. It's my duty."

I rolled my eyes then walked out the door. We left the building then reached the sidewalk. Ethan wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me close to him. He acted the same way he did when we were alone—almost the same. We reached the restaurant and took our seat. It was the same restaurant that I went to with Alex—when I was tricked by my brother.

Ethan rested his arm on the back of my chair, being affectionate at all times. My father didn't seem uncomfortable by the closeness. He had never seen me with a boyfriend before so I wasn't sure how he would feel. But then again, he saw me make out with Ethan a few times. I guess this was nothing compared to that.

"How's the shop doing?" Ethan asked.

"Good," my dad answered. "Business is always up and down. How's Wall Street? That sounds a lot more interesting."

Ethan laughed. "Not really, actually. It's basically the same job but a different day."

"But the pay must be nice."

Ethan nodded but said nothing.

I liked how humble Ethan was. Anytime my brother had the opportunity to tell anyone he went Harvard, he milked it dry. I loved my brother but sometimes he could be annoying.

My dad looked at me. "Did you and Alex work it out?"

I stiffened at his question. I felt Ethan tense beside me.

"Uh, we haven't talked."

"He seemed really upset today. You should give him a chance," my dad said.

Ethan controlled his anger, but it still seeped out. "What happened today?" He stared at me.

"I ran into him really quick. We argued, but nothing happened."

My dad raised an eyebrow. "He seemed distraught when came into the shop."

I wanted to punch my dad in the face. I could really do it.

Ethan lowered his arm from the back of my chair. I knew I was in trouble. "And what did Alex say?"

I looked at him. "He just wanted to apologize—that's all." I glared at my father, daring him to say another word. Thankfully, he was silent.

Ethan said nothing more. I knew he was livid even though he kept his cool. He was quiet for the rest of dinner, saying very little. His phone kept vibrating in his pocket and I felt it against my leg, but he didn't answer it.

My dad talked about the shop and sports, something I had no interest in. Ethan carried the conversation, but I knew his mind was elsewhere. I knew he was going to unleash his anger as soon as we were alone. His phone kept vibrating in his pocket and it kept rubbing against my leg.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked.

He looked at me. "We're at dinner. That would be rude."

When the check came, Ethan paid for it even though my father offered. We left the restaurant and said our goodbyes on the sidewalk. When my father walked away and waved down a cab, Ethan immediately turned to me. There were flames in his eyes and I knew this was going to be a big fight. But instead of speaking, he just walked away. I walked beside him as he headed back to my apartment. He didn't touch me and kept his hands in his pockets, which worried me. When I wrapped my arm around his, he didn't push me away but he was still distant.

When I closed the apartment door behind me, the battle began.

He gripped his hair as he paced around the apartment. Koku ran up to him but scurried away when he noticed the tension. "Why the fuck didn't you call me?"

"Ethan, you were at work."

"You think I give a shit? If some asshole is harassing my girlfriend, I want to know about it."

"I don't want you to get fired, Ethan."

He glared at me. "Let me worry about my job!"

"I was going to tell you but I wanted to wait until tomorrow."

He shook his head. "I highly doubt that." He took his phone out of his pocket. "You see this?"

I stepped back. "I know what a phone is. I'm not stupid."

"Then use it! My phone is on me all day, every day. All you had to do was call. That's all I asked you to do." His phone went off and he received another message.

"Who the hell has been calling you all night?"

"I don't know," he snapped. "And I don't care."

I glared at him. "You know exactly who's calling you."

"What?"

"Well, you obviously know it isn't your sister."

He said nothing.

I grabbed the phone and opened the messages. Three different girls were inviting him over tonight. Ethan didn't try to take it back. "And what the fuck is this? I thought you said you told them you were settled down?"

"It's not my fault they don't understand the meaning of no."

"Well, it's not my fault that Alex doesn't understand the meaning of no."

He stepped closer to me. "If you want to beat the shit out of these girls, go ahead. I don't give a damn, Sadie. But you're always defending Alex. These are completely different situations."

I opened his messages and started looking through them. "Let's see if you even told them you had a girlfriend."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he snapped. "What happened to trusting me?"

I continued to read through them.

He shook his head. "That's fucking low, Sadie. I like how you turn this argument back on me. Now it's my fault. You're the liar that didn't tell me the truth."

"I didn't lie!"

"I fucking asked you what you did today, and you didn't mention it once! You had the perfect opportunity but you lied!"

"My dad was coming over!"

"So you thought it would be better if I heard it from him?"

"Fuck you!"

He glared at me. "Don't talk to me like that."

"Fuck you, Ethan."

His eyes narrowed but he didn't say anything.

"There's not a single message in here that says you have a girlfriend."

"That's because I deleted it! Didn't you notice that I haven't responded to any of their messages? Doesn't that mean something to you? I've been loyal from the beginning. You told me you trusted me but you never fucking did—ever." He turned toward the door. "Have a good night."

"I have your phone, you idiot."

"Keep it. Make a thorough search so you can feel like shit afterwards." He slammed the door.

I stared at the door, holding the phone in my hand. Like he said, there wasn't anything incriminating on it. He had a lot of messages on his phone from whores, but most of them hadn't even been opened. And he didn't respond to any of them. Then when I closed the messages, I saw the background screen was a picture of me sleeping. Now I really did feel like shit.

17

I was in a shitty situation. I could go to Ethan's house but I would be going alone at night—which would piss him off. But I had his phone so I had no other way to contact him. I didn't know what to do.

I decided to call my brother.

"Hey," he said.

"Can you do me a favor?"

He sighed. "I guess."

"Can you take me to Ethan's house?"

"Yeah," he said quickly. "Is Elisa home?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"I'll be there in a second." He hung up.

I guess that worked out. I thought I was going to have to beg him.

When he came to my door, he was wearing a suit.

I raised an eyebrow. "You were wearing a suit at home?"

"Do you want me to take you or not?"

I grabbed my purse when walked out the door.

"So, why am I doing this? Why can't he just come get you?"

"He left his phone here."

"And he doesn't know?"

"Stop interrogating me!"

He sighed. "Another breakup?"

"No. We just had a fight."

We got into the cab then drove down the road.

"And what did he do now?"

"It wasn't him—it was me."

"Really?"

"I lied then went through his phone, checking his messages."

He cringed. "It pissed me off when Suzie did that."

"Yeah."

"Why did you do that?"

"I was just mad. It was a spur of the moment thing."

"So he left?"

"Yeah."

The cab stopped in front of the town house and we walked to the front door. I knocked on the door loudly and felt my heart hammer in my chest. I prayed that he was home. Please be home. I heard Elisa's feet move behind the door. She looked through the peephole before she opened the door.

"Hey," she said with a smile.

"Hi!" Jared yelled.

I just shook my head. My brother was just embarrassing. "Is Ethan here?"

"No. Why?"

I felt my heart fall. "Fuck."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just need to talk to him."

"Well, you are more than welcome to wait for him."

"Okay," Jared said quickly.

Seriously, my brother needed to chill. "Okay," I agreed.

We walked inside and Elisa locked the door behind us. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Tea, please," Jared said.

I raised an eyebrow. I had never seen Jared drink tea in my life. "Water is fine."

"Great. I'll be right back."

Jared followed her. "Let me give you a hand."

I rolled my eyes. My brother was making an idiot out of himself. Becky walked down the hall holding her doll. When she saw me, she squealed and ran to me. "Hi, Aunt Sadie." Her words broke my heart. I wanted to be her aunt someday. I wasn't sure if that was possible anymore. I made a big mess of things.

"Hello, Becky."

"Where's Uncle Ethan?"

"He'll be here soon. Where's your brother?"

"He's sleeping."

I nodded. "Should you be in bed?"

"I haven't seen Uncle Ethan all day. I wanted to show him my new doll."

Now I felt worse. He wasn't home because of me. I hoped he wasn't hooking up with a random girl at a bar. The knowledge would cripple me. But he wouldn't do that. This was just a fight. We would work through it.

I heard Elisa laughing from the kitchen. I waited for my cup of water but it never came. I heard the chairs move in the kitchen and knew they sat down together. They obviously had forgotten about me. I sat down with Becky, and she played with her doll until she fell asleep. My eyes started to grow heavy when I heard the front door open. Ethan walked inside then hung his jacket on the rack. When he saw me, he stopped in his tracks. We stared at each other but said nothing. I knew he wanted to yell at me, but when he saw Becky in my arms he kept his silence.

Ethan approached me then grabbed the little girl from my arms. He walked down the hallway then disappeared. He returned a moment later and glared at me. He kept his voice down but his anger was unmistakable. "How dare you come to my family's house, bringing the drama with you, and how dare you come here in the middle of the night alone." His eyes widened in anger.

"Ethan—"

"Let's go."

"I didn't come alone. Jared brought me."

His anger dimmed a little. "You still shouldn't have come."

"You didn't have your phone—I didn't know what to do."

"Find anything interesting?" he spat.

"No," I whispered. "And you're right. I feel like shit."

"Do you want to know where I was tonight?"

I was quiet for a moment. "No."

"I went to a bar."

"Oh?"

"I met a girl. I bought her a drink."

I felt a tear escape from my eye.

"She gave me her number."

"Stop."

"Why? It's what I've been doing all the time anyway, right?"

"Please stop." The tears started to fall.

He sighed then sat beside me. "I tore up her number then left. I realized I could never go back to that lifestyle. I'm in love with you, Sadie. I'm pissed at you but I fucking love you."

I wiped my tears away. "Nothing happened?"

"I didn't touch her."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I was so pissed at you for not trusting me. If you don't trust me, then why should I be faithful? I'm doing all the work but I'm receiving no recognition."

"Ethan, I'm sorry."

"I told you that I loved you, Sadie. I'm with you every night. I introduced you to my family. If that doesn't convince you that I'm serious, then what will?"

"I know."

"You either trust me or you don't. Which is it, Sadie? And don't waste my time by lying to me. I've given you everything. I can't do it anymore if I'm going to be lied to and questioned all the time."

"Ethan, I'm so sorry. I do trust you."

He stared at me. "Do you really?"

"I love you."

His eyes softened. "I love you too."

"I'm so sorry—and about Alex."

"Sorry about what, exactly?"

"That I didn't tell you about him."

"Will you call me next time?"

I was quiet for a moment. "I won't get you in trouble at work, Ethan."

He gripped his hair. "Sadie, I'm this close to punching my fist through a wall."

"I don't want you to lose your job."

He looked back at me. "I'm perfectly aware of my responsibilities to my family. I realize that I can't get fired because the kids would starve and my sister would be homeless. You don't need to remind me. I get it. You let me worry about that."

"Then what would you have done?"

"I would have sent a brother or a friend to get you."

My eyes softened. "I—I didn't know."

"I will always take care of you, Sadie. Even if I can't be there in person. Now will you promise to call me?"

"Always."

For the first time, he smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm so sorry, Ethan."

He kissed me. "It's okay, baby. I'm glad we got this figured out."

"Yeah. I'm sorry that we fight so much."

"Well, at least we'll have good make up sex."

"That's true. I like make up sex."

His eyes grew dark. "Me too."

"So, do you want to go to my place or stay here?"

He thought for a moment. "It would be nice not to be quiet."

"Yeah."

"Let's go." He rose from the couch and pulled me to a stand. "I really want to make love to you."

I felt my knees go weak. "Uh, yeah."

He smiled and led me toward the door.

"Wait. I forgot about my brother."

"What about him? Is he still here?"

"Yeah."

His eyes widened. "What? Where the fuck is he?"

I rolled my eyes. "Calm down. He's in the kitchen."

Ethan stormed into the kitchen and I followed behind him. When we walked inside, they were sitting at the table talking. Elisa was smiling as she held her mug. Jared was leaning back in his chair, staring at her. He was smiling too.

Ethan stopped when he reached Elisa. "How's it going?" he asked.

"Good. Jared and I were just talking," she said with a smile.

Ethan stared at her for a moment without speaking. He turned to Jared. "Could you excuse us, please?"

I was shocked that Ethan said the word 'please.' I didn't realize it was in his vocabulary.

"Sure." Jared rose to his feet then left the room.

When he was gone, Ethan looked at his sister. "Is he bothering you?"

"No, Ethan."

Ethan looked at me. "Could you excuse us as well?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry."

Elisa grabbed his hand. "Really. It's fine."

"Sadie and I were going to stay at her place tonight, but if you are uncomfortable, I won't leave. Or I'll make Jared come with us."

"You can go, really. He doesn't make me uncomfortable."

He stared at her for a long time, searching for the sincerity in her eyes. Ethan looked at me. "I hate to be rude for not including you but I'm afraid my sister won't be honest with me since you're Jared's sister. I'm sorry, but could you wait in the other room?"

I turned around and left. I was a little hurt that he asked me to leave but I understood his request. If Elisa hated Jared, I doubt she would be honest about it in front of me since Ethan and I were together. She wouldn't want to ruin Ethan's relationship by offending me. I sat next to Jared and waited.

Jared looked at me. "Did I piss him off?"

"I don't think so. He just wants to make sure you aren't making Elisa uncomfortable."

"She and I were having a great time. I wasn't bothering her."

"We'll see."

"I don't want to piss off Ethan if you are serious with him. You know I wouldn't do that on purpose."

I smiled. "I know, Jared."

Ethan came from the kitchen then grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

I was surprised. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Jared breathed a sigh of relief then stood up.

Ethan stared at him. "By leaving you here alone with her, I'm trusting you. You do anything to make her uncomfortable or disrespect her in any way, I'll come after you." Jared said nothing. "And I have two brothers. I won't be alone."

Jared nodded. "You have my word."

Ethan nodded then pulled me away. We walked out the front door then got into a cab. Ethan wrapped his arm around me and held my hand. We were back to normal. I was relieved that we resolved our fight. I was surprised he forgave me so easily. I was wrong in every way.

"Ethan, my brother isn't a bad guy. He wouldn't hurt or pressure your sister. He understands she's a widow."

He sighed. "It's nothing personal, Sadie. I would treat any guy like that. I'm just very protective of her. She won't experience any pain that I can prevent."

"I know. And I like that about you."

"If she agreed to meet him at a restaurant, I wouldn't be so anal about it, but leaving her alone with him in the house is a different story. The kids are in there too. It doesn't matter if they are asleep."

I nodded. "It makes me realize how much you care—love me." He looked at me. "You treat me the same way as your sister."

"What?"

"I mean in terms of protection and security. You are just as concerned about my safety as you are of hers."

"Well, of course. I love you, Sadie."

"I know. It makes me feel special."

He kissed me on the head. "It should."

When the cab pulled over, Ethan paid the driver then we walked up to my apartment. When we were inside, I looked at the roses he gave me. They were beautiful. I filled the vase with water then returned it to the table.

Ethan stared at me. I felt the sexual tension in the room. We were both hot and bothered. Ethan patted my dog on the head then walked into my bedroom. I immediately followed him. When I got inside, he was already naked. I ran my hands down his chest and kissed his body. I could do that all day. He was already hard.

Ethan stripped my clothes away then guided me to the bed. When he lay on top of me, he locked his gaze onto mine. "Call me crazy, but I knew I loved you when I saw you."

"I thought you were annoyed with me."

"I never said I wasn't." He parted my legs and pressed against me. "But I love you. I'm stuck on you. I can't live without you." He inserted himself within me and I gasped.

"Ethan."

He moved inside me. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too."

"You are mine forever. That's it. End of story."

"I'm so sorry about earlier."

He increased his pace. "Don't worry about it. Just think about this right now."

I moaned. "How can I not?"

Ethan's breathing increased. "You feel so wet. You're always wet for me."

I gripped his back and dug my nails into his skin. "You make me feel—so good. God, Ethan." The orgasm made my toes curl and my body shake. He always rocked my world—every time.

When Ethan saw me come, he stiffened. He released himself inside me and pressed his face against mine. "Baby."

"Ethan, you're the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

"I know. Me too."

"And I can't live without you."

"I know that too." He pulled out of me then lied beside me. He pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. My eyes closed and I started to drift away. Koku rolled over on the bed but I was too tired to pull him to my chest.

When I heard the sound of a phone vibrate, I opened my eyes. Ethan was texting. I wasn't worried that he was doing something he shouldn't, but I still wondered who he was talking to that late at night.

Ethan kissed my forehead. "I'm talking to my sister."

I yawned. "You don't have to explain yourself."

His phone vibrated again and he read the message.

"Is everything okay?"

"I'm just checking on her."

"Is my brother still there?"

"Yeah."

I looked at the clock. It was past midnight. "Really?"

"I told her to text me when he leaves."

"Why?"

"I just want to know."

"Well, if Jared is still there, she must want him to be."

"It still worries me."

"Maybe she likes him."

"She might, but I don't know."

"Why don't you just ask her?"

"She'll talk about it when she's ready. I don't want to pressure her by asking."

"Would you approve of my brother if she wanted to date him?"

He was quiet for a moment. "If he treated her right. I don't know him that well."

"Well, he's a good guy."

"You are biased."

"I know my brother loves me and he wouldn't fool around with your sister unless he really liked her. Whenever he's had a girlfriend, he's always been loyal and honest, but I've never seen him in love with anyone."

He sighed. "We'll see what happens."

"This really bothers you."

"Well, this person is going to be the children's stepdad. It's a big deal. I want to make sure that she's in good hands."

"Jared would do a great job if she ever picked him."

"We'll see how it goes."

"Okay."

He put down the phone then rested his face in the crook of my neck. "Good night, baby. I love you."

I loved hearing that. "I love you too."

18

When I woke up the next morning, Ethan was still fast sleep. I knew he was up late last night texting Elisa. Their codependent relationship was annoying, but it was also a little overwhelming. I would hate to have Ethan as an older brother when it came to dating. I could tell that he was the protective, over the top, defensive brother. I felt bad for Jared.

Koku and I went outside so he could sniff around the bushes then we returned to the apartment. Since it was Saturday, I made breakfast and brewed a pot of coffee. I moved around the apartment as quietly as possible so I wouldn't wake up my ridiculously hot boyfriend who was madly in love with me.

When there was a quiet knock on the door, I felt my heart fall. If it was Alex, I swear to god that I'd kill him. I didn't know how many times I'd asked him to leave me alone. When I opened the door, I saw Jared standing outside. He was wearing the same suit from last night. I knew that was bad.

"Hey. Is Ethan awake?"

"No."

"Can I talk to you?"

"Come in."

He walked into the kitchen. I had breakfast on the stove. I always made too much, so I had plenty for my brother.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, sure."

I placed the plate in front of him and a cup of black coffee. He started to eat. I sat next to him while I drank from my mug.

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"You were there all night."

"I mean nothing physical happened."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Talking?"

"About what?"

He shrugged. "Anything and everything. I left right before the kids woke up. I didn't want them to see me there in the morning."

"So you like her?"

"A lot."

"Jared, be honest with me. What is this?"

"Sadie, I really like her. I'm not just saying that. I don't want to sleep with her then never call her back. I'm not Ethan."

I glared at him.

"Sorry. But I mean it. I really like her as a person. I think she's amazing, actually. She's sweet, smart, loving—beautiful. I like being with her—talking to her. I—I want to be with her."

"What about her kids?"

"I really like them too."

"Jared, you would be a stepdad."

"And I'm okay with that."

"She's a widow, Jared. She's always going to be emotional and upset. I mean, it's a lot to take on. You could find someone who's easier to be with."

"You're right," he said. "But I don't want to be with anyone else."

"Does she feel the same way?"

"She didn't explicitly say it, but I think she does. I doubt she would stay up all night talking to me if she just saw me as a friend—we are barely that."

I sighed. "Jared, this is a big deal. Please don't pursue this unless you are absolutely certain that you want to be with her. You will make my life really difficult and painful if this doesn't work out. You would piss off Ethan, and you would piss off me."

"Now you're pissing me off."

"What?"

"I love you, Sadie. We are family. I would never do something like that and you know it."

My eyes softened. "Why her, Jared?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Yeah, she's absolutely gorgeous—beautiful, but I love her smile and her personality. I just love everything about her."

"You just met her."

He smiled. "Now I guess I know what you were referring to."

"So, are you going to talk to Ethan?"

"Should I?"

"Uh. yeah."

He sighed. "Now I wish I wasn't such an ass to him."

I laughed. "That is ironic."

"I don't want to push her too fast. Let's do a family day at the park or something. I think going on a traditional date with her is too intense. This would be better. And when she finally expresses her interest verbally, I'll talk to Ethan."

"Well, Ethan is going to talk to you anyway."

"Why?"

"He was texting Elisa all night so he knows you were there the whole time."

"I figured that's who that was."

"Well, you know how he is."

"He doesn't trust me, does he?"

"It isn't personal, Jared. His sister has been through a lot. Ethan is just protecting her and the kids. He doesn't want her to get her heart broken again."

"Well, I don't intend to break it."

"You dragged Suzie along for six months before you dumped her."

"Well, Elisa isn't psycho. And even if she was, I wouldn't mind."

"You remind me of me."

He laughed. "That can't be good." He picked up his fork and finished his meal. My brother ate like a starving cow. When he was done, he pushed his plate away. "I guess I should go to sleep now."

"Yeah."

"What do you guys have planned today?"

"Nothing."

Jared looked at the vase of flowers. "He got those for you?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

He nodded his head in approval.

"He left a note saying, 'I'll love you until the last one dies'. And one of the flowers was fake."

"So, you guys are really serious now?"

"We've been serious."

"Now I'm worried you're going to get married."

"No," I said sadly. "That won't happen for a few years."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he supports Elisa until the kids start school. He won't be able to move out and get married for at least a year or two."

Jared nodded. "Maybe she'll find someone else to take care of her before then."

I looked at him. "You love her?"

"I think so."

"Wow. I've never heard you say that."

"Yeah."

My bedroom door opened and Ethan walked out. His hair was a mess and he looked sleepy. Thankfully he put on some clothes before he walked out. I didn't mind him being naked, but I think my brother wouldn't feel the same. He was wearing blue pajama bottoms and a plain shirt. Even in the baggy attire, he looked delicious.

When he reached me, he kissed me. "Good morning, baby."

"Morning. You sleep well?"

He looked at Jared. "No."

Jared met his gaze. "Nothing happened."

Ethan walked away and poured himself a glass of coffee. Then he grabbed his breakfast from the stove and sat down. "You spent a long time doing nothing. You just left?"

Jared nodded.

"What do you want from my sister?"

Jared sighed. "I want to date her."

"No."

"No?"

"I don't want you dating her unless you're serious about it. She has kids."

I looked at Ethan. "We've been talking about it. Jared is serious."

Ethan looked at him. "The answer is still no."

"Let her decide," he said. "I want to be given a real chance with her. I really like her. Let's go to the park tomorrow—all of us."

Ethan ate his food. "I'll ask her and see what she says."

Jared nodded. "Thanks."

"If she doesn't like you, I want you to stay away from her."

"I understand," Jared said. "But I'm pretty sure that she enjoys my company."

"I'll talk to her."

"You'll let me know about tomorrow?" Jared asked.

"Yeah," Ethan answered.

"Okay." He rose from the chair and turned to us. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," I said.

Ethan didn't say anything.

Jared left the apartment and closed the door behind him.

Ethan continued to eat his breakfast.

"I think you should give Jared a chance."

"Drop it," he snapped.

My eyes widened in shock.

"Since Jared is your brother, it makes this more difficult. We'll see how it goes, okay?"

"Okay."

"Look, I'm sure Jared isn't a bad guy, but I have to make sure he understands what he's getting into."

"He isn't stupid," I snapped.

He stared at me. "That's why we can't discuss this."

"Are we going to the park tomorrow?"

"I'll ask Elisa how she feels about it."

"If she stayed up all night with my brother, then she obviously likes him. You told me she hasn't even looked at another man in three years."

He sighed. "What do you want to do today?"

I fell silent. He never ignored me before. "I don't care what we do. I just want to be with you."

"My brothers want to go out tonight."

My heart fell. I assumed we would spend the whole day together.

"I want you to come, baby. My brothers are eager to meet you."

"They are?"

"They want to meet the woman who's made me into an honest man."

I smiled. "Well, I try."

"Let's take a shower together and get ready."

I felt my skin prickle. "I love showers."

"Yeah. They are fun to fuck in."

I grabbed the plates and placed them in the sink. "Actually, I want to try something else."

"You have my attention," he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

I turned around and looked him. "A blow job."

He smiled. "That's a little advanced for you."

"I thought you said you would teach me?"

"Yeah, baby. I sure will. But I just broke you in. And not to sound like a cocky asshole, but I'm pretty big. It's going to be a challenge for you."

"Isn't that what practice is for?"

His eyes lit up. "Do you really want to do this?"

"I'm starting to think you're stupid, Ethan. If a woman offers to suck your cock, you just say yes."

He smiled. "I do like getting head."

When I thought about all the other girls who sucked him dry, I felt the jealousy spasm in my chest. I knew it shouldn't bother me but it did. How many women was he comparing me to?

Ethan caught the look. "You're everything to me, Sadie. I know having you do that to me would feel amazing, better than all the others, but I don't want you to feel pressured to do that. I'm fine with making love, Sadie. I'm more than satisfied in that department."

I walked away and moved into my bedroom. Koku tried to follow me but I made him stay in the living room. Like a moth to a flame, Ethan followed me. There was a noticeable bulge in front of his pants.

"Sit down," I said.

He sat at the edge of the bed.

I kneeled in front of him and pulled down his pants and boxers. Ethan's breathing picked up as he watched me. I could tell that he was excited. When I saw his cock spring upwards, I realized just how excited he was.

"How do I make you feel as good as I feel, Ethan?"

He moaned. "I love knowing that you've never done this before."

"It's not frustrating?"

"Definitely not."

I licked my lips.

He took a deep breath. "Lick the tip."

I grabbed the base and ran my tongue along the engorged tip. He started to leak fluid and it tasted sweet, delicious.

He moaned. "Yeah. Just like that."

I started to kiss his cock the way I kissed him.

"Now move further down—slowly."

I opened my mouth wide and took him in. I felt his tip slide down my throat.

"Don't go all the way, baby. You won't be able to do it."

Just to defy him, I did it anyway. He was right; he was humongous. But I took it like a trooper.

He gasped. "Baby."

I inserted him all the way then pulled out, licking the tip. Then I repeated the same thing.

Ethan started to breathe heavily. "I have nothing left to teach you."

I moved faster and made him crumble beneath me. He was always in control of our interactions and I enjoyed being the commander of this escapade. His legs shook as I shoved him to the back of my throat. When I sucked the head, he moaned. He was weak before me, nothing like he normally was.

"Do you want to come, Ethan?"

"Oh—yeah."

"Okay."

I moved faster, shoving him to the back of my throat.

"Baby."

When I felt like he was about to explode, I slowed down—way down.

He moaned. "Don't be mean."

"I want you to last longer."

"Well, that's fucking impossible. Your mouth feels as good as your pussy—shit, it's better." He grabbed my neck and slid his fingers in my hair. He started to rock his hips gently, thrusting himself into my mouth. He was totally out of control and desperate to find his release. "Let me come. Please, baby."

I moved faster and gave him everything I had.

"Yeah—thank you. God, thank you." He squeezed the back of my neck when he came into my mouth. It was so much but I swallowed it as quickly as possible before I choked. He was shaking. "Yeah. That—yeah." When he was finished, he lay down on the bed and covered his face, regaining his breath.

I crawled on his waist and straddled his hips. "You like that?"

"Stupid question."

I laughed.

He removed his hands and looked at me. "That's the best head I've ever gotten, baby."

"I don't believe you."

"Well, it's the truth."

"Maybe it's because you're in love me."

"I don't think so. You're just an excellent cock sucker." He moaned. "Now I just want to go back to sleep."

"I'm glad I could make you feel as good as I feel."

"There's no comparison."

"I'm glad you liked it."

"I love it, baby."

"Well, now I'll reward your good behavior with a treat."

He smiled. "Dammit, now you have power."

"Oh yeah."

"Now it's your turn."

"My turn?"

"Oh yeah."

He pulled me to the bed then kneeled on the floor. I felt the excitement course through me. He kissed me there once but the contact had been brief. He pulled down my pants and underwear then nudged me to the edge of the bed.

Ethan separated my legs then inserted his tongue within me.

"Ethan." I gripped his hair as soon as I felt his tongue.

He kissed me gently then circled my clit with his tongue. It sent a surge of pleasure within me and I already felt the approach of an orgasm. With Ethan, it never took long. I felt like I was always about to explode at any moment. He pulled his tongue away then inserted it within me. He rubbed my clit with his fingertips and that unleashed the explosion.

I pulled his hair. "Ethan, oh god. Ethan." I closed my eyes as I enjoyed every second of the pleasure that combusted like a stick of dynamite. My body was on fire. He continued to lick me until the heat in my lower stomach dissipated. I felt myself tighten then stretch afterwards. I was throbbing with such an intense pleasure it was borderline pain. I was blissful.

I was breathing heavily by the time he was done. "Oh, Ethan."

He pulled away and wiped his lips. "You like that?"

"Uh-huh."

He laughed. "You're lucky I'm not an asshole like you, teasing you when you're on the verge of coming."

"Don't ever do that to me."

"I can't promise anything."

I sat up and kissed him. "That was—wow."

He smiled. "I love that you're so inexperienced. This is fun."

"Yeah."

"Who knew I would fall in love with a virgin?"

I shrugged. "Opposites attract."

"Apparently," he said. "Now let's get ready for the day. I want to go out to lunch and get some ice cream before we go out tonight."

"That sounds like fun."

"It's what couples do."

"Yeah. We're a couple."

"A couple that is madly in love."

I felt my eyes water. "I'm so lucky. I've been waiting for this for so long."

"The wait is over. And you'll never have to wait again."

"I still don't understand why you picked me."

"I don't either."

"Really?"

"But that's a good thing. Since my love for you is unconditional, it can never change. There's nothing you can do to change the way I feel. My love is innate—forever."

"Forever is a long time."

He stared at me. "Not really."

19

We went to a small café and ate our lunch then went to an ice cream parlor in the square. We both got small cones and walked hand in hand down the street. The sidewalk was crowded on that beautiful Saturday but I was oblivious to all of it. It was just me and Ethan.

I finished my ice cream cone before he did.

He smiled at me. "I like that you eat like a normal person."

"Well, I'm going to get fat someday."

"When you're pregnant—but that's it."

The idea of being pregnant made my heart squeeze. I never considered having kids before. I was still focusing on actually finding a serious boyfriend. Now that I had one, I guess I had to think about it. After being with Elisa's kids, I knew I wanted one of my own. And I would love to have Ethan as the father.

He finished his ice cream then wrapped his arm around me. It almost felt odd that we were strolling down the street like a couple. I'd never done that before. Ethan kissed me on the head as we walked. "Sadie, I want to ask you something." His tone was serious. I didn't like the sound of that.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me what happened with your ex-boyfriend, the one you mentioned before. Why didn't it work out?"

The last thing I wanted to talk about was that jackass, Mark. "We just—grew apart."

Ethan saw right through that. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Why does it matter? Who cares about my ex? I don't talk to him or ever think about him."

He sighed. "It just sounded like it ended badly."

"No."

"Sadie, I want to understand you better than anyone. How do you expect me to do that when I don't know about something that hurt you so much?"

"My parents' divorce was a hardship but you never ask about that."

"Because I already understand your pain. I've seen you talk to your dad and your mom. I'm not in the dark in that respect."

I said nothing.

"It bothers me more that you won't tell me. It frightens me. At least tell me why you won't."

I sighed. "Ethan, just drop it."

His stared at me with fear in his eyes. "Now you're just scaring me. What happened? Did he do something to you?"

I couldn't tell him the truth. Ethan would explode in anger then threaten to kill everyone and everything. "Ethan—"

"Tell me."

"It's just going to hurt you."

He said nothing for a long time, just staring into my eyes. I saw the storm brewing in his look. "Does Jared know?"

"No."

"Then you need to tell me."

I stepped away from him and started walking back to the apartment. He reached me and held my hand. "I don't want to live in the past, Ethan. It doesn't matter anymore. Now I'm happy. I've moved on."

He said nothing as we walked up the street. I could tell by his shaking hand that he was nervous—afraid. When we reached my building and stood in the elevator, Ethan just stared me. He said nothing as we moved up the floors. He was silently begging me. When the doors opened, I bolted from the elevator. I grabbed my keys then got the door opened.

When we were inside, Ethan looked at me. "Please."

"No!"

"I'm not asking you anymore," he snapped. "You will tell me."

"Why? What does it matter, Ethan?"

"Because if that fucker hurt you, I'm going to kill him." His eyes lit up in flames.

"Nothing you do now will change what happened to me. Let it go."

He stepped toward me. "So, he did hurt you?"

"I—I didn't say that."

He grabbed both of my arms. "If something happened to me—something that broke my heart—wouldn't you want to know about it?"

"Not if you didn't want me to."

"Tell me."

"No."

He picked me up then dropped me on the couch. He pinned my hands above my head then put his weight on my legs. The look in his eyes would frighten anyone, but I wasn't scared. I knew Ethan wouldn't hurt me even though I had never seen him act like that.

"I'm not releasing you until you tell me."

I knew that was a lie. If I really wanted him to let me go, he would. Ethan was a crazy asshole, a control freak, but he definitely wasn't abusive. "Ethan—"

"I'm not fucking kidding!"

I sighed. "You aren't going to let this go, are you?"

"What do you think?"

"Release me."

Ethan pulled his hands away then moved off me. I sat up and fixed my hair. He stared at me, waiting for me to speak.

"What do you want to know?" I asked.

"Everything."

"Ethan, this is going to upset you."

"I need to know," he whispered.

"Well, I dated Mark in college for a while. He was sweet and caring. He was the first person to tell me I was beautiful. He made me feel special. I liked him." I paused for a moment. "After eight months, we started fooling around. We kissed and he would finger me. He always had a temper but I never questioned it. It seemed like he was always mad at everything but me, like I was the only person that understood him." Ethan took a deep breath as he listened to me. He knew where this was going. "Anyway, he wanted to have sex but I wasn't ready. When I refused, he got angry and lashed out at me. He hit me and tried to hold me down. Luckily, I was able to run and barricade myself in a room. I told him if he left and didn't bother me again, I wouldn't call the cops. He left and never spoke to me again."

Ethan covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. He seemed so calm about the whole thing. I was shocked. When he pulled his hands away, I saw the anger in his eyes. His jaw was clenched tight. He started to rub his hands together like he was about to punch something. I waited for him to speak but he never said a word.

He rose from the couch then marched toward the door.

"Ethan?"

He didn't say anything. He left the apartment and slammed the door behind him. I could only imagine how angry he must have been. He probably had to leave because he knew he was going to explode. I didn't know if I was happy to see him go. I wondered if he would come back. I thought about calling him but decided that wasn't a good idea. He would return when he was ready.

Koku jumped in my lap and we watched television for a few hours. I wasn't sure if we were still going out that night. I had a feeling we weren't. Ethan was obviously too pissed off to have a good time.

When I heard the knock on the door, Koku and I both flinched. I rose from the couch and opened the door. When I looked at Ethan, he didn't meet my gaze. After a moment of standing there, he walked inside. I shut the door and looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

Ethan ran his fingers through his hair then looked at me. He seemed so depressed and forlorn. I wished I hadn't told him. It was obvious that it was killing him. He stepped toward me and gently pressed me against the wall. He placed both of his hands on either side of me, boxing me in. I couldn't move away.

He stared into my eyes. "I would never hurt you, Sadie."

My eyes softened. "I know, Ethan."

"I mean it. You never have to be scared of me. I would never touch you against your will, or ever even think about hitting you—ever."

"Honey, I know."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I had to make sure you understood that. I admit that I get angry sometimes and have a bad temper, but I would never hit any girl even if she did deserve it."

"You're telling me what I already know."

He took a deep breath. "Okay." He pulled me to his arms and held me close. I felt safe in his embrace. I knew nothing would ever hurt me. He kissed me on the forehead and continued to hold me like he would never let go.

"Ethan, I'm okay."

He pulled away and looked at me. The deadly look was back. "What's his name and where does he live?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Don't play games with me, Sadie. You're going to tell me."

"I—I don't know."

"Don't you fucking lie to me." He pressed his face against mine and glared at me. His arms dangled from his sides, but his muscles were flexed for battle. "I'm not going to tell you."

"Yes, you will. Why the fuck are you protecting him?"

"Because this is stupid! What good is it going to do? It would be different if he was trying to talk to me or be with me, but he isn't. I haven't spoken to him in years. I'm not even sure where he lives."

"Does he live in the city?"

"I—I don't know."

"Yes, you do. Now tell me the fucker's last name."

"Drop it."

"I'll just ask Jared, then."

My eyes widened in fear. "You better not!"

"You aren't giving me a choice."

"If you tell him, I swear—"

"Swear what?" he snapped. "What are you going to do?"

"No sex."

"Don't make me laugh, Sadie. You wanted to fuck me on our second date, begged me to take your virginity. You can't pull that shit on me. I will fuck you when I feel like it."

I knew he had a point. I couldn't resist him. "Ethan, please don't involve my brother. It would break his heart. Please."

"Then tell me."

"I just want to move on from this. All you're doing is causing me pain, opening up doors that were sealed and shut."

He glared at me. "Sadie, you better fucking tell me."

"I love you."

"Tell me."

I turned away from him, hiding my tears. It was too much. I didn't want to relive this. I was happy with Ethan. Everything in the past was irrelevant—forgotten. "I want you to leave. Get out."

Ethan was quiet for a moment. "What?"

"I said leave! I don't want you here. All you're doing is hurting me. Go away!"

Ethan fell silent. After a moment, he came behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I wiped my tears away and refused to look at him.

"Baby, I'm so sorry."

I sniffed.

"I'll drop it."

I said nothing.

He turned me around then kissed the tears from my eyes. Feeling his lips on my skin calmed me. I liked it when Ethan was gentle like that. I enjoyed his caveman behavior—most of the time—but it could be too much sometimes. I knew Ethan loved me and just wanted to protect me from everything, but this was too painful. I wanted to forget about what happened.

"Baby, I'm sorry."

"I know."

"Please stop crying. I—I can't stand to see it. It's even worse knowing that I'm responsible for it."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and stilled the falling tears.

"I love you so much. I—I just can't stand the idea of someone hurting the most important thing in my life. It kills me, Sadie. I can't help it."

"I know. I love you too."

"I'm sorry that I can be too possessive and controlling. I'm sorry that I'm too protective of you. But I have to protect you from everything. It will never change—I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Ethan. I like that you protect me."

"You do?"

"When you aren't being a crazy asshole, I do."

He smiled. "Well, that goes hand in hand."

He sighed. "So you aren't mad at me?"

"I'm never mad at you."

He laughed. "It seems like it sometimes."

"That's when you're being a crazy asshole."

"I'll try to control it."

"Ethan?"

"Baby?"

"I never want to speak about this again."

He was quiet for a moment. "Okay."

"I mean it."

"I know you do."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"But if he ever bothers you again, that's a different story."

"He won't."

"I hope for the sake of his family members, his friends, his girlfriend, whoever, that's the case."

I understood the threat in his voice. He meant it.

20

"You look nice," Ethan said as he appraised my dark blue dress.

"Thanks," I said as my cheeks blushed. I felt awkward in it. It was short and only had one strap. My hair was curled at the ends and cascaded over my shoulders. I tried to make myself look beautiful, but I wasn't sure if I was doing it right or if it just looked like I was trying too hard.

I looked at his blue shirt. "We match."

He glanced at his clothes. "I guess we do."

"Is that okay?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't it be, baby?"

"Your brothers won't make fun of you?"

He laughed. "Sadie, they aren't going to look at me once. Their eyes will be glued to your beautiful legs and luscious ass."

I blushed a darker shade of red.

He stared at me. "I don't get it."

"What?"

"How do you not understand how beautiful you are? Haven't guys been hitting on you your whole life?"

"Um, no."

"I really doubt that. You're probably just too humble to notice it."

I shrugged.

"How long has Alex had feelings for you?"

"I don't know. They just started."

"Wrong. He's liked you forever. He finally grew a pair when I came into the picture. Fucking coward."

I stared at him. "Can we leave the temper at home?"

"Fine." He opened the front door and let me walk through.

"And don't attack anyone that talks to me."

"Attack? When have I ever attacked anyone?"

"When that guy at the bar brought me a drink, you flipped out."

"Well, you're my girlfriend. That guy needed to know his boundaries."

"And how was he supposed to know I was taken unless he asked? I doubt he's a mind reader."

"Whatever. I don't like it when people hit on you—look at you. They are asking for a death sentence."

"God, I feel bad for our daughters."

"What?"

I felt my heart stop. Damn, I shouldn't have said that. It was way too soon to talk about marriage and kids. "Uh, nothing."

"You wanna have kids with me?"

"What?"

He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. "I'll make my question clear, baby. Do you want to be the mother of my children?"

I looked away. "I don't understand the question."

He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. "I want to have kids someday. And I would love for you to be their mother." I felt my heart start to beat again. I was relieved he felt that way. I thought he was going to run for his life. "Now, what did you say, baby?"

"I feel bad for our daughters."

"And why is that?"

"Because you're a crazy asshole."

"Your point?"

"Well, when our girls go on dates, you're going to freak out."

"Why would they go on a date?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Because they'll be beautiful like you."

"I don't think so."

"It's going to happen."

"I'll pick someone I approve of."

"Are we having arranged marriages for our kids?" I asked incredulously.

"No. But I know how to sniff out the dogs from the good guys. I used to be the worst dog on the block. I'll know them when I see them."

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"Now you're the sweetest guy I've ever met."

"And I'm only that way for one person—you. You don't know how many hearts I've broken, how many virginities I've stolen, and how many women I've played. I'm not a good person. Just because I'm in love with you and treat you right doesn't vindicate me for my previous behavior."

"Well, I think you're wonderful."

"You're the only one who thinks that."

"Ethan, I love you."

His eyes softened. "I love you too."

"I'll take care of the girls."

"I don't think so. What kind of role model are you? You were going to sleep with me on our first date."

"But I didn't lose my virginity until after I graduated college, and I'm going to sleep with one man for my whole life. I think that's pretty admirable."

"Well—I—"

"That's what I thought."

He smiled. "You have a point."

"I know I do."

"How about we talk about this later—when we actually have the kids. Hopefully, we'll just have boys."

"And why is that any different?"

"Because they are boys—they can do whatever they want."

"I don't think so," I snapped. "They are going to be gentlemen."

"Well, we can't control that."

"It's called good parenting, Ethan."

He smiled. "I guess we'll talk about this when the times comes."

I rolled my eyes. "You can just stop being a sexist pig and we wouldn't have a problem."

"I'm not sexist, but I admit that I'm a pig. I know how guys think. My little girl won't be treated that way."

"Poor Becky."

"Don't even get me started on that."

"She'll go on her first date when she's thirty."

"Maybe not even then."

I laughed. "Babe, let's go. We're going to be late."

He sighed. "I suppose. We shouldn't talk about such serious things before we go out."

"I agree."

He grabbed my hand and guided me to the elevator. When we rode to the bottom floor, he kissed my neck, pressing me against the wall. I leaned my head back and let him run kisses across my skin. I was totally helpless against him. I ran my fingers through his hair and just enjoyed it.

When the bell sounded, Ethan pulled away. "Damn."

"What?"

"I want you."

"What's new?"

He started clapping. "About time!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, you finally convinced me."

"Good. I don't know how many times I've had to fuck you to convince you. Or how many times I've had to tell you how goddamn beautiful you are."

I shrugged. "I'm hard of hearing."

"You're deaf, actually."

He took my hand and guided me from the building and out to the street. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we maneuvered down the sidewalk. Women walked by in their dresses, heading to restaurants and bars. Groups of guys walked down the street, checking out the beautiful ladies they passed. Ethan didn't seem to notice anything. He only paid attention to me—me alone.

When we got to the bar, Ethan opened the door for me. As soon as we walked inside, I felt overwhelmed. There were so many people crammed into the place. The women were even more glamorous than the ladies on the streets. Every man was dressed in his best attire. I immediately felt nervous but then I realized I didn't need to feel that way. Ethan was there.

Ethan hugged me close and guided me through the crowd. He seemed to know where he was going because he headed to a table in the back.

"Hey!" A man stood from the table and shook hands with Ethan. He was tall like Ethan and bigger—more muscular. I could tell they were brothers just by looking at them. He had the same blue eyes that Ethan had—the same ones I stared at when we made love.

"Hey, man," Ethan said.

"Who's this?" he asked with a smile. His eyes moved over my body, taking in every curve of my breasts and the shape of my hips.

Ethan squeezed me tighter. "She's mine."

His brother laughed. "Calm down."

Ethan turned to me. "This is my brother, Kyle."

I smiled. "Hello, Kyle."

"Whoa, that's a beautiful smile."

Ethan glared at him. "Like I said, she's mine."

"Chill, brother." Kyle embraced me and hugged me tightly. When he pulled away, he looked at me. "I'm very happy to meet you. I'm glad my brother finally pulled his head out of his ass."

"Me too," I said.

Kyle smiled. "Welcome to the family, Sadie. If you ever need anything, even if it is just to talk shit about my brother, let me know."

I laughed. "Thanks."

Ethan looked at me. "He means it. You can call him for anything."

Kyle nodded. "My brother pisses me off, but I got his back no matter what."

"That gives me some peace of mind," I said.

"And if you ever want to go out to dinner—"

"Kyle," Ethan snapped.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Relax. I'm just joking—sort of."

I smiled. "I believe you."

Ethan sighed. "And I have another one."

"Oh?"

"Another brother," he explained.

"Well, I'm sure he's great," I said.

Ethan shrugged. "He's okay."

A man stepped over to us. I knew this was the other brother immediately.

"Hello, gorgeous," he said with whistle. "You got a sister?"

Ethan glared at him. "Scott."

He smiled. "You're such an easy target. I love pissing you off."

"Good for you," Ethan said.

Scott extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Sadie." I shook it. "We already know everything about you. We dragged it out of Ethan. I feel like I already know you."

"I hope that's a good thing," I said.

"I think so," Scott said. "Thanks for coming tonight. We won't be too annoying."

I smiled. Both of his brothers were very handsome. I could see why Ethan was threatened by them. They were both tall and muscular, charming and sweet. They probably fought over girls their whole lives.

Ethan pulled me toward the table and placed me in front of it. He placed his hands on the surface, on either side of me. I was totally caged like an animal. I felt his chest against my back. I felt safe and protected in his arms. There was no doubt that we were together. When his crotch was pressed against my ass, I felt his erection. My thoughts started to wander.

"Ethan, what's happening?" A man sat across the table, drinking his beer.

"Hey, man," Ethan said. "This is my lady, Sadie."

"I'm Joe," he said to me. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

Ethan sighed. "Finally. Someone who doesn't hit on my girlfriend."

Scott stood by us and gazed across the room. "I see a lot of potential," he said as he drank from his glass.

Kyle nodded. "I can't decide."

I assumed they were talking about women. Ethan didn't follow their gaze.

He leaned toward my ear. "What would you like, baby?"

"Wine is fine."

"Alright. I'll be right back." He kissed me on the head then walked away.

When he was out of earshot, Kyle looked at me. "So, you met Elisa?"

I smiled. "She's lovely."

Scott raised an eyebrow. "Are we talking about the same person?"

I laughed. "Yes, I think she's great."

"A great pain in the ass," Kyle said with a smirk. "So you like my brother?"

"Obviously," I said with a smirk.

He smiled. "I like her," he said to Scott. "But you're serious about him?"

"I think that's obvious too."

"No need to get defensive, darling. I'm just wondering. He's fallen for you. I would really hate to see him get hurt."

"You don't have to worry about that," I said.

Kyle nodded. "Fair enough."

Scott leaned toward me. "Seriously, you got a sister?" he asked with a smile.

"No. But I have a brother."

He grimaced. "I'll pass."

"How about some cute girlfriends?" Kyle asked.

I shrugged. "I might."

Scott looked at his brother. "We need to behave now."

"I'm not going to introduce my friends to guys that just want to sleep around," I said.

"Well, maybe we'll change our minds when meet them," Kyle argued.

"I doubt that."

"You didn't doubt Ethan," Scott said.

"That's totally different," I said.

Scott rolled his eyes. "He claims it was love at first sight. Seriously, my brother is totally pussy-whipped. It's ridiculous."

"Maybe he's found the right pussy," I said.

Kyle laughed. "I like her attitude. You'll fit in well with us, Sadie. I know we come off as assholes, but we really aren't that bad."

"I hope so." I looked over my shoulder and saw Ethan standing at the bar. Two of the women at the bench were eyeing him like he was a piece of meat. Another woman stared at him from a table. The jealousy spiked in my blood stream. Now I knew how Ethan felt when people looked at me. The girls were so blatant about it. I took a deep breath and looked away. I had nothing to worry about. I had to just let it go.

Kyle caught my look. "Sadie, don't worry about it. My brother wouldn't do anything."

"I know."

"Then don't let it get to you. We are hot. It comes with the territory."

"At least you aren't conceited," I said sarcastically.

Kyle shrugged.

When Ethan finally returned with our drinks, I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted everyone to know he was mine—not up for grabs.

"They being nice to you, baby?"

"Yeah," I said.

A gorgeous woman with long blonde hair approached Ethan. I felt my heart stop when I saw her. She was thin and beautiful with prominent breasts sticking out of her top. Her tans legs could be seen under the dress and she had noticeable curves.

"Hey," she said as she touched Ethan's arm. "I'm Stacy."

"Hello, Stacy," he said politely. He wrapped his arm around me. "This is my girlfriend, Sadie."

I smiled, relieved that he wasn't provoked by her obvious beauty.

She nodded. "Oh."

"But let me introduce you to my brother, Kyle." He grabbed Kyle and pulled him over. "Have a good evening." He stepped away and returned to me. "Sorry about that, baby."

"It's okay."

He stared at me for a moment but didn't speak. I was upset by the incident but I had no right to be mad or angry. It was out of Ethan's control. He didn't do anything wrong. He behaved the exact way I would have hoped for. It wasn't his fault that every woman's ovaries screamed when they saw him.

Ethan pressed his lips against mine and kissed me for a moment. His kiss was gentle at first but turned hungry seconds later. His tongue circled mine and made me gasp. When he pulled away, I felt my legs burn. "I'm yours, baby."

"Yeah."

"Don't ever forget that."

A woman's voice broke our moment. "Ethan?"

I groaned. I already knew I was going to be pissed.

Ethan turned around. "Hey, Abby."

"I haven't heard from you in a while." She placed her hand on his shoulder and moved close to him. She was totally oblivious to his hand around my waist. I thought it was obvious we were together, but then I realized Abby might think it meant nothing. Since Ethan slept around a lot, she probably assumed I didn't mean anything to him. "I miss you." Her brown hair trailed across her shoulders. I felt my heart fall. It seemed like Ethan only dated super models. I was feeling more hideous by the minute.

"I've been busy with my girlfriend," he said coldly.

She nodded. "I thought that was just a joke."

"Well, it's not," he said. "Please stop calling me."

She shook her head. "Whatever, Ethan. I'm sure I'll hear from you eventually."

Ethan stared at her for a moment. "Have a good night, Abby."

She rolled her eyes and walked away. Her ass fit in her jeans perfectly and her arms were toned and tight. She had legs for days. As stupid as it sounded, I felt my heart break. I wasn't good enough for Ethan. I would never be beautiful and sexy like the other women he'd been with. What did he even want from me?

"I'm going to the bathroom," I said as I walked away.

"What?" Ethan asked as I yanked my hand away.

I ignored him and kept going. I pushed through the crowd and reached the hallway on the other side. I knew there was a bathroom around there somewhere. When I broke through the people, I felt the tears of frustration pour down my eyes. Why was Ethan with me when he could have someone so much better? Before I opened the door, a hand grabbed me.

"Knock it off," Ethan snapped.

"Leave me alone."

"No." He pushed me against the wall and let the people pass by. No one paid attention to us as they came and went. I heard the music from the next room. I tried to avoid Ethan's gaze but he wouldn't let me. "I can't stop them from pursuing me. You have no right to be mad at me."

"I'm not," I said quietly.

"Then why are you acting this way?"

"Just let me go to the bathroom."

"No." He pressed his body against mine. "Tell me."

"I—I just don't understand why you chose me. All the women you've been with are so fucking gorgeous and I'm just—just plain."

His eyes widened. "I told you to never fucking say that again."

"It's true, Ethan! Why would you want to be with me when you could have Abby? Or that other girl? I'm nothing compared to them."

He stared at me for a moment, fire blazing in his eyes. I wasn't sure what he would do. He seemed furious. He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the wall. When he dragged me into the men's bathroom, I felt confused. What was he doing? Two guys were standing at the urinals doing their business when we passed. They didn't glance at us. Ethan opened a stall and pushed me inside.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

Ethan grabbed my dress and lifted it up then pulled off my underwear, shoving them into his pocket. "You don't get it," he whispered. He undid his pants and pulled his dick out. "You don't fucking get it and I'm sick of explaining it to you." His voice was loud and full of anger. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. He grabbed my ass then pushed me against the wall of the stall. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and he slid inside me. "Maybe now you'll fucking get it."

He moved inside me hard and fast. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he pounded into me. The stall shook under the force of his thrusts, but neither one of us cared. Everyone in the bathroom knew we were fucking, but no one was stupid enough to call Ethan out.

"I love fucking you," he said to me. "I love it. I'm the only man that's done this to you—the only one who ever will. I love that you're so naïve about your looks even though you make those other girls look like shit. And you don't even try, baby. You don't do anything and you look amazing." He increased his pace and his breathing became deep and shallow. I moaned loudly. "I love that you don't care about looking hot, wearing expensive clothes, having money, or any of that superficial bullshit. You care about people. You gave me a chance when I didn't deserve one, saw the love I have for you, and every day I wonder how I got so lucky."

"Ethan."

"I told you that I loved you. I mean it, Sadie. You are the only one I've felt this way about."

"I love you too."

"So you shouldn't be comparing yourself to these women that you find to be so gorgeous. They have nothing on you, Sadie. There's no goddamn comparison—none at all."

I grabbed his back and felt my orgasm begin.

"I'm the lucky bastard that asks myself why you chose me. Why you decided to give yourself to me. You are so beautiful, smart, and not plain whatsoever. I look at other men and wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve you."

I bit my lip as the orgasm rocked through my body.

"And I can't believe I'm the one that gets to make you come every night. That I make you come at all."

"Ethan."

He pounded into me harder until he reached his moment. He exploded inside me and emptied himself. I continued to hold him close as the moment passed. It was the first time we had sex in a public place—a very public place.

Ethan pulled out of me then guided me back to a stand. He pressed his face against mine and looked into my eyes. "Did we straighten this out?"

I nodded.

"Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you all the time. It doesn't matter if we are here, at the grocery store, home, wherever it may be. It's just you—no one else."

"Okay."

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Ethan."

"I never want to hear you say that again. I've proven my love and devotion to you. You may as well start accepting it."

"I do."

"You better."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry, Ethan."

"It's okay, baby. Don't let it happen again."

"Okay."

He kissed me on the forehead then dressed himself. I pulled down my dress then reached for my underwear. He grabbed my hand and pushed it away. "No."

"No?"

"That will be your punishment."

"No panties?"

"Nope."

"You're a crazy asshole."

He smiled. "You sound surprised."

"I'm not."

"Sadie?"

"Yeah?"

"I've never had sex in a public place like this. So, you were my first."

I smiled. "I'm glad I have something."

"And you know what else you're my first in?"

"What?"

"You are also the first last person I'm ever going to have sex with."

I felt the tears sting my eyes. "Really?"

"As long as you'll have me."

"I never want to be with anyone else, Ethan."

"Good. Because you don't have a choice anyway."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You can't break up with me. I won't let you. So you're stuck with me."

"I'm okay with that."

"Really? You don't think I'm a crazy asshole?"

"Well, I didn't say that."

He smiled. "You still love me anyway?"

I nodded. "I'm a crazy asshole too."

"Good. I'm glad I'm not the only one."

"So we are perfect together?"

He kissed me on the forehead. "That's what I've been saying this whole time, baby—this whole fucking time."

"I think I understand now."

"Good. I was about to get pissed again if you didn't."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you were."

"Get used to it."

21

"I like your brothers."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes." I tossed my purse on the counter then bent down to pet Koku. He walked right past me and started to paw Ethan's leg. He picked him up and held him in his hand. "That traitor."

Ethan laughed. "I need to take him home."

"Can we take him to the park tomorrow?"

"I don't see why not."

"So Elisa said yes?"

"I haven't talked to her."

"Well, you should ask soon. My brother has been texting me every hour."

Ethan put down the dog. "Can we stay at my place tonight?"

"Yeah. I know you left Elisa alone yesterday."

"She doesn't say anything but I know she hates it. I used to just get my dick wet then take off. I haven't been out all night in a long time."

I nodded. "Let's take Koku out then we'll head over."

"Okay."

We took my dog outside and let him sniff the bushes then relieve himself in the darkness. Then we returned to the apartment so I could grab a change of clothes and a toothbrush. By the time we reached Ethan's, it was already late. I hoped everyone was asleep. I loved the kids and his sister, but I was tired.

When we walked inside, Elisa was sitting on the couch in her pajamas. "Have a good time?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Ethan said. "Kyle and Scott weren't too bad."

"You know they love you." She looked at me. "You're staying over, right?"

I could see the happiness in her eyes. She really disliked having Ethan away. She was so grateful that I was willing to stay over there. "Yeah."

"Great. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you," I said.

Ethan moved into the living room and sat next to his sister. "Would you wanna go to the park tomorrow? It could be all of us and Jared."

She smiled. "Jared wants to come?"

I knew she liked my brother. It was written all over her face. "It was his idea, actually."

"Really?" she asked. "The kids too?"

I nodded. "He loves your kids."

She was quiet for a moment. I could see the battle behind her eyes. She was excited to see Jared, but then she felt guilty for thinking it. Since she still wore her wedding ring, I knew she still considered herself to be committed to her husband even though he was dead. It was sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. If I ever lost Ethan, I would probably act the same way.

"That sounds wonderful," she said finally.

Ethan stared at her. "You like him?"

She was quiet for a moment. "I enjoy being around him."

He nodded. "Well, I'll let him know about tomorrow."

"Okay," she said. Now she looked even sadder. It was obvious how guilty she felt.

Ethan looked at her. "It's okay, Elisa. You don't have to be alone forever. Tom wouldn't want that."

She looked away. Her voice barely came out as a whisper. "Yeah."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her head against his chest. "I'm not trying to rush you into anything, but Jared seems like a nice guy. Maybe we should all spend more time with him."

"You think?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She sighed. "I know I need to move on but it's hard. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me because I don't have anyone else. I know it's only a year away, but I know you are happy with Sadie now and want to start your own lives."

"Hey. Don't ever worry about that. I love living with you and raising the kids. That's never been a problem. If you aren't ready to try again, that's fine. I'll take care until the kids start school. But I don't want you to stay alone out of guilt. It's been three years, Elisa. You've waited long enough."

Their conversation was making me sad. I had never known anyone who lost a spouse at such a young age. It was heartbreaking. And I loved the way Ethan cared for his sister. He would do anything for her.

Ethan rubbed her back. "So, do you like him, Elisa? You spent all night talking to him."

"Yes," she whispered.

He nodded. "Good. I'm glad."

I smiled. I was glad that he accepted my brother. But I think it was because his sister finally stepped out of her shell. He was just grateful that she was finally allowing herself some happiness.

Elisa pulled away from Ethan and looked at me. "I'm so sorry, Sadie. I know how much Ethan loves you and I keep taking him from you. Whenever you want to start your own loves together, don't worry about me. We'll figure something out. I never want to jeopardize your relationship."

I patted her hand. "Don't worry about it. I fell in love with Ethan because of how sweet he is to you. It really doesn't bother me."

She smiled. "You don't mind sleeping here?"

I shook my head. "I wouldn't have it any other way. My brother would do the same for me, and I for him."

Ethan kissed me on the forehead. "Thank you, baby."

"Yeah."

Elisa stood up. "I'm sorry for putting a damper on your evening."

"You didn't," Ethan said. "You can be really annoying but I'll always put up with it." He smiled at her. "Good night, sis."

"Good night, E."

Ethan grabbed my hand and took me down the hall. Elisa followed us and disappeared into her bedroom. I knew she was waiting for Ethan to come home before she could fall asleep.

I looked at him. "It really traumatized her, huh?"

He nodded. "Tom wasn't just stabbed. He was beaten so badly the authorities couldn't recognize him. They had to pull dental records just to accurately identify him." I felt the tears pull at my eyes. That was horrific. "Since the mugger took his wallet, Elisa has always been scared that he might come to the house or something. I think the combination of those two things have scarred her."

"I—I couldn't even imagine."

"Don't," he said quickly. He opened the bedroom door and left it halfway ajar so he could hear everything in the house. After he removed all of his clothes, he opened his drawer and pulled out the gun, checking the bullets and the safety lock.

"Aren't you afraid of the children touching it?"

"No. My bedroom is locked when I'm not here. They can't get to it. Elisa and I agreed on that a long time ago. I don't want to lock it away because it will take me too long to get it if I need it." He returned it to the drawer.

I opened one of his drawers and pulled out a clean shirt.

He watched me put it on. "It looks better on you than it does on me."

"That's because my ass is showing."

"And I like the view."

"Can I have my panties back?"

He grabbed them from his pocket then placed them in the drawer.

I raised an eyebrow. "You're such a pervert."

"What's your point? I like your underwear." He moved under the covers and lay down.

I crawled beside him and laid my head on his chest. "And what are you planning to do with them?"

He shrugged. "I'll put them to good use when I'm alone because we are fighting or you're on a trip or something."

"Does that mean what I think it means?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

"You're gross."

"No. I'm just hot for you. If I can't have you, I would like to pretend that I do."

I ran my fingers down his chest but said nothing.

"Does that bother you, baby?"

"No. It's hot."

"Now look who's the pervert."

I smiled. "You caught me."

He kissed my forehead then rested his head on top of mine. I enjoyed the feel of his warm body next to mine. He was a portable heater that I carried everywhere. I wanted to do that every night for the rest of our lives. I couldn't imagine a night sleeping without him. I was so used to it.

"Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we ever get married?"

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"I meant because of your sister. If she never moves on, would be ever we able to get married?"

He was quiet for a moment. "Yes, of course. She can raise the kids alone when they are in school. It's doable. Right now it's just hard because they are so young. And even if she never remarries we can always babysit once in a while."

I said nothing.

"Is that okay?"

"Yes. I love your sister but I'm not gonna share you with her forever. I want a husband and a family of my own, nothing less. As long as this arrangement isn't permanent then I'm fine with it.

"Sadie, it isn't. We'll get married eventually. By the time we are ready, I probably won't be living with her anyway. Don't worry about that. And she would never ask me to stay with her because she isn't selfish. Her husband is dead because of me. I'm responsible for her and the kids now that Tom isn't here. It's my duty. So for now, yes, this is how the arrangement is going to be. Please give me a year because I can give you everything you deserve by then."

I sighed. "So there's a future for us? I understand why you feel guilty but it isn't your fault, Ethan."

"Yes, it is," he said quietly. "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, but for now I can't abandon my sister. I'm sorry. That's just unacceptable."

"That's totally fine, Ethan. I'm willing to wait. That isn't very far away anyway."

"Do you still want to be with me in light of all that? Waiting for a year?"

"Of course I want to be with you."

"Thank god. I'm really sorry, Sadie."

"It's fine. We just started dating anyway. Nothing serious will happen for a year."

He sighed. "Would you be willing to get a bigger place for all of us in the meantime?"

"We would all live together?"

"Yeah."

I was quiet for a moment. "Can Koku come?"

"Of course," he said with smile.

"Then yes," I said. "As long as you intend to move out with me as soon as the kids start school."

He pulled my face up, locking his gaze with mine. "You would do that? You would wait for me?"

"Of course. I don't want anyone but you. And I love your family."

He stared at me.

"It wouldn't be traditional for a while, but we would be happy. That's all that matters."

"I—I don't know what to say." He pulled me to his chest and squeezed me tight. "God, I love you, Sadie. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I must have done something."

"You did a few things."

He kissed me on the forehead. "When I feel this happy, I remember how depressed I was. I didn't realize it at the time, but now that I have you, I see how empty my life used to be. I was a pathetic excuse for a man."

"We all make mistakes, Ethan."

"Not you."

I completely disagreed with that statement but I didn't want to bring up my ex, Mark. That was a mistake I could never take back.

"I love making love to you knowing you're completely mine—literally. I'm the only man who's come inside you."

"I like it that way."

"Good. Because it's going to be that way for a long time."

I smiled. "This is a two way street."

"Baby, I don't want to fuck a dirty chick. Why would I when I have you?"

"You're sweet."

"I'm just being honest."

I crawled on top of him and snuggled on his chest. I was too tired and emotional to make love. I think Ethan felt the same because he didn't make a move. At first I was worried about the arrangement he had with his sister. While I admired him for being so selfless, I didn't want to always be second best. I wanted our own family and our house. But knowing he would be leaving in a year and Elisa wanted him to go made everything better. I didn't want to get married right away anyway. The timing was perfect.

I felt him staring at me, and when I opened my eyes, I saw him looking at me. He ran his fingers through my hair but didn't say anything. I saw the love and adoration in his eyes and it squeezed my heart. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I took a chance, gambling more than I could afford, and I won the lottery—the fucking lottery.

22

The following morning, I dressed myself in shorts and a baseball jersey. I tucked my hair inside a baseball cap and looked in the mirror. I wasn't sure if I looked good. I wasn't wearing those tight pants with a skimpy shirt that girls usually wore. My hair wasn't even done. "You look so cute," Ethan said as he came up behind me. "Why haven't you ever worn this before?"

"Uh, I don't know."

He stared at me in the mirror. "You look great, baby."

Sometimes I wondered if he was lying. I thought I looked like a hobo. Plus, I wasn't wearing makeup. But since we were just going to the park, I didn't think I should wear any.

Ethan wore a plain shirt and basketball shorts. His arms looked nice and his calves were eye-catching. Every time I looked at him, my thoughts wandered to inappropriate things.

He caught the look. "We don't have time now. But I'll definitely make time later when we're in the shower."

I moaned. "I love the shower."

He placed his hand inside my shorts then inserted his fingers inside me. I gasped at the unexpected intrusion. I was wet so he slipped right in. "I can tell." He pulled his fingers away then licked them.

"Ethan."

"Later, baby."

"No."

"No?" he asked with a laugh.

"We always have sex when you want to. This is a two way street."

"Baby, I want to please you. I enjoy it immensely. But breakfast is almost ready and Jared—your brother—is going to be here soon. There isn't enough time."

"I just want to come, Ethan. Please."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Don't talk like that," he whispered.

"Fuck me, Ethan."

He moaned. "Damn."

I pulled down my shorts and removed the clean underwear that I packed. I left my running shoes on then climbed on the bed, my ass facing him. My legs stuck out over the edge of the bed and I faced the wall, knowing that would be too tempting for him. I heard his breathing increase.

"Dammit, Sadie." He pulled down his shorts and boxers and came up behind me. I felt him slide inside me quickly. "You're so wet," he whispered.

"Because of you."

He started to move inside me gently so the bed wouldn't make any noise. "Baby," he whispered. "You feel so fucking good."

I bit my lip as he slid inside me over and over. He stretched me so tight that I felt my body shake. He moved inside me completely, making me want to scream. Ethan always felt so amazing. I wanted to have him all the time. I felt the orgasm build. It was just out of my reach.

"Ethan, harder."

"I can't."

I moaned. "Please."

He thrust into me harder, making the bed rock. "Come, baby. Now."

"I am," I whispered. "I am."

He kept up the pace until my moment had come and gone. "I'm done."

He slowed down again and pressed his cock all the way inside me. "My turn."

"Come inside me, Ethan."

"Shit, Sadie." He stiffened as he came inside me, breathing hard. He continued to thrust but they were quiet and soft. When he was done, he kissed my back then my neck. "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"Good."

"And your ass—there are no words."

"You like it?"

"Oh, baby. I want to fuck the shit out of it."

"You're welcome to it anytime."

He moaned then pulled away from me, dressing himself quickly. "We have to go."

I climbed off the bed then pulled on my clothes. I smiled as I realized that I had successfully seduced Ethan. I could have him whenever I wanted him.

Ethan opened the bedroom door then ushered me out. He locked it behind him then we went into the living room. The kids were already in their booster seats and Elisa was working on the stove. She wore jeans and a shirt. Her hair was lustrous and wavy, and her face was gorgeous. She was wearing makeup. It was the first time I had ever seen her wear it.

"Good morning," she said as she placed the plate of pancakes on the table.

"I'm starving," Ethan said as he kissed both of the children on the head.

"Don't eat me!" Becky said.

"You're safe—today."

"Eww!" she squealed. "You can't eat me."

"You wanna bet?"

Her eyes widened in fear.

"Don't worry, Becky," I said. "I won't let him."

She sighed. "Phew!"

I smiled. They were so cute. When I sat down, the doorbell rang. Since it was my brother, I rose to a stand.

Ethan stood up first. "I got it." He pushed me back down. When I saw the tension in his shoulders as he walked away, I knew he was going to threaten Jared in some way. I felt bad for my brother. But if he was willing to pursue Elisa despite Ethan's hostility, I knew he really liked her.

They walked into the kitchen a moment later.

Jared stopped and looked at Elisa. "Good morning. You're making breakfast?"

"And I'm quite good at it."

"Good. I'm starving. You need any help?"

"I think I'm okay."

Jared grabbed the pan of eggs and helped her cook them over the stove. She stared at him for a moment before she continued her preparations. Ethan and I both watched from the table, saying nothing.

When Jared and Elisa were finished, Jared came to the kitchen and addressed the children. "Good morning, you guys."

"Hey, Uncle Jared!" Tommy said excitedly. "I want to show you my new car."

"Ooh," Jared said. "I look forward to it."

Becky made a sour face. "Well, I have a doll."

"And I would like to see that too," he said.

"Really?" Her eyes lit up.

"Of course," he said with a smile. He took a seat at the table across from Tommy.

I wondered why he didn't sit across from me, but I realized he was proving himself to Elisa, that he could help her with the kids.

When Elisa approached the table, Jared pulled out her chair and helped her sit down.

My eyes widened in shock. I had never seen him do that for anyone but me—not even his most recent girlfriend, Suzie. He was totally smitten with Elisa.

Ethan watched Jared like a hawk.

We ate our breakfast while we made small talk. Elisa and Jared didn't speak to each other directly, but I think it was because they were both nervous. Jared already came on a little strong. He was trying to play it cool.

When we finished, Ethan and I washed the dishes and put them away. Jared helped Elisa clean up the kids and get them ready for the park. I didn't expect Jared to be so willing to become a stepdad, but clearly he was.

We went by the apartment and grabbed Koku. He was so excited by all the visitors that he peed on the floor of the kitchen. He hadn't done that since he was a pup. It was so cute that I couldn't be mad. The kids were immediately taken by the dog. Becky petted his fur lovingly while Koku licked her face, and Tommy squealed in delight. It was adorable. I put the leash on him then we left the apartment.

Jared carried Tommy in his arms while Elisa held Becky. Ethan had his arm around my waist like he usually did. There was rarely a time when he wasn't touching me.

When we came to the park, Tommy and Becky ran to the jungle gym and started to ride the slide. Elisa and Jared sat down on a park bench and watched them. They spoke to each other with smiles on their faces but they never touched. Jared had his hands folded in his lap, making it obvious that he wasn't going to be affectionate with her in front of the kids.

When my brother spoke to her, his eyes were brighter than usual. I had never seen him laugh or smile so much—not even when we were kids. Jared would glance at the children every once in a while, checking on them, but then his stare was fixed on Elisa.

I played fetch with Koku, who chased after the stick with lightning speed. Ethan stood beside me but he wasn't really paying attention to us. He kept glancing at Jared and Elisa, checking where Jared's hands were. His eyes scanned the slide until he spotted the kids then he looked away, only to look again a second later.

"Stop," I said to him.

"What?"

"You're staring."

"And what's your point? It's my job to stare."

"At me."

He smiled. "Those are completely different contexts." He took the toy from my hand then tossed it across the grass. Koku chased after it with a loud bark. My dog was having too much fun. I couldn't remember the last time I brought him to the park. I hadn't been the best owner lately—mainly because I had a hot, sexy boyfriend.

"You need to calm down, Ethan. If my brother was just trying to get laid, he would have taken an easier route than this. This is a choice with the most obstacles and problems. He genuinely cares for Elisa and her kids."

"You can never be sure."

"You did the same thing, Ethan. You could have picked up another chick and gotten laid immediately. Instead, you chose to stick around and fall in love with me."

He shook his head. "Sadie, when I saw you I wanted to fuck you. That's what I was thinking."

"But you wanted more, right? As soon as you spoke to me, you wanted more. Isn't there a possibility that Jared feels the same way?"

He sighed. "This is just hard for me, okay? I love my sister."

"I know," I said with a smile. "It's sweet."

"Not really. It's just stressful."

"She's a big girl. She can take care of herself."

He sighed. "I guess."

I sat down on the grass and Koku crawled into my lap. He licked my face then rolled over. Ethan sat beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We said nothing for a long time, just enjoying the beautiful day. I never thought I would spend the day at the park with a boyfriend and my dog. It was a dream come true.

"I think your brother trusts me finally," he said.

"Or he just wants to butter you up so he can date your sister."

He smiled. "No, if he really disliked me, he would say something. I know he loves you."

"Well, he should trust you."

"I don't know what changed."

"You're with me all the time, Ethan. When would you have time to cheat on me?"

"I guess. I was hoping it was because he respected me, not because of my alibi. I want him to know that if I ever was in a situation where I had the opportunity to cheat and not get caught, I wouldn't do anything."

"It will happen in time."

"I hope so."

"And in all honesty, you are being worse to him."

"What? How so?"

"You threaten him every time you see him and you hardly know him."

"Well, if he still wants to date my sister after all that, then he must really like her."

"Obviously." I leaned my body against Ethan and snuggled next to him. We spent the next hour watching the kids on the playground. When they yawned and started to stumble as they walked, we knew they were getting tired.

Ethan walked over and grabbed Becky from the ground. "Sleepy?"

"No," she said, affronted.

Tommy sat on the ground and stuck his finger in the dirt. Before Elisa could grab him, Jared lifted up. "I think these guys have had enough for the day."

Elisa smiled. "Good. Now I'll get some sleep tonight."

We left the park and walked down the street. Both kids were silent because they were exhausted from their long day. The silence was nice. When we got back to Ethan's townhouse, they both sat on the couch and started to doze off.

Jared turned to Elisa and leaned toward her ear. "Can I take you out to dinner?"

Elisa glanced at the kids then turned back to him. "I don't want to take them out again. They are too tired."

Ethan took off his shoes and left them by the door. "Then go alone. We'll watch them."

Elisa looked uncomfortable. "No, it's okay. You and Sadie should go out and do something."

"Go," he said with a firm voice. "I won't be alone. And Sadie and I could use the practice."

Jared's eyes widened.

"In the future," I added.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "If you would rather not leave, I understand. The offer still stands if you change your mind."

I liked that Jared wasn't pressuring her into doing anything. He was very sensitive about the whole situation.

Ethan looked at Jared. "Have her home by midnight."

Jared laughed. "Okay."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm joking?"

"Um, no," Jared said awkwardly.

Elisa looked at her brother. "You really don't mind?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course not. Now get out of here." He turned to Jared. "She hasn't gone out in a really long time, so she might act like a monkey. I had to warn you."

Jared smiled. "I like monkeys."

Elisa grabbed her coat from the rack. "Thanks, Ethan."

"Have a good time," he said.

Jared opened the door for her. "I'll have her back before midnight."

"Thank you," Ethan said.

They closed the door behind them.

Ethan sighed. "Now we've got to bathe these guys and get them to bed."

"Sounds simple."

He laughed. "Oh, Sadie."

We bathed both of them, despite their angry protests, and then finally got them into bed. Tommy cried for his mother for a while, and Becky refused to go to bed. After Ethan read a children's story to her, she finally went to sleep.

We went back in the living room and watched television as we waited for them to come home. Ethan glanced at the clock every few minutes.

"Calm down," I said.

"It's almost midnight," he said.

"So?"

"I told him to bring her home before midnight, not at midnight."

"You're so annoying."

The front door opened and Elisa walked in. She was crying.

I felt my heart fall. This was not going to be good.

Ethan jumped from the couch quicker than I could process. "What happened? What did he do?"

She wiped her tears away. "Nothing—"

Ethan stormed away and dashed out the front door. When I heard the sound of yelling, I ran after him.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Ethan said, pushing Jared hard.

"Nothing!" Jared yelled.

"Ethan, stop," I said.

Ethan pushed him to the ground then stepped on his neck. "You motherfucker!"

"Ethan, knock it off!" I screamed.

Elisa ran to him and pulled him off. "Stop it, Ethan."

"What did he do?" His eyes were livid.

"Nothing," she said. "He did nothing wrong. It's me." She turned to Jared and helped him to his feet. "I'm so sorry about this."

He wiped the dirt from his clothes. "It's okay."

Elisa walked back to the house.

After one last glare at Jared, Ethan followed behind her. I left my brother and followed them. I had to know what Jared did to Elisa.

"Tell me," Ethan said. "Did he hurt you?"

"Of course not," Elisa said. "I—I'm just not ready to be anything with anyone. I told him nothing would happen between us." She wiped her tears away. "I—I can't do this to Tom. I can't be with anyone else."

Ethan sighed. "That's all?"

She nodded.

"So you don't like him?"

"It's not that."

"Then where is this coming from?"

"I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. I don't want to be in one ever."

"Please don't be scared, Elisa. It's okay to move on."

"No," she said. "I can't." She turned around and walked to her bedroom, her cries following her.

I returned to the front door and went after my brother. He was still standing there.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He was quiet for a moment. "No."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. We were having a great time. I made her laugh, smile—everything. When we got home, she started crying. She said she doesn't want to see me again."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Jared."

"Me too."

"She's just scared. I know she wants to be with you."

His eyes looked sad, lifeless. "No, she doesn't." He started to walk away.

"Jared?"

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned around.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He walked down the street until he disappeared in the crowd. I had never seen him look so sad. He was crushed.

23

"When the hell did all of this happen?" Natascia asked.

I shrugged. "I know it's quick but—"

"Quick? This is definitely faster than quick."

Both of my friends were speechless after I told them everything that happened with me and Ethan.

"I'm happy," I said.

Stephanie nodded. "We can tell."

"I'm happy for you too," Natascia said. "It's just a lot to process."

"I know."

"So, Jared and Elisa aren't going to happen?" Stephanie asked.

I sighed. "It doesn't seem that way." I looked at the clock on the wall. Jared was meeting us at the restaurant. I was trying to spend as much time as I could with him. I knew he was heartbroken.

"That sucks," Natascia said. "That would have been so perfect—siblings with siblings."

I smiled. "Yeah. It really would have been."

"So, how's the job hunt?" Natascia asked.

I rolled my eyes. "All you care about is work."

"No," she said sternly. "I care about my friend. You need to get out of that bookstore. You are better than that."

"I've tried!"

"No, you haven't."

"I've applied to at least fifty jobs in the city. No one's is hiring."

"You're full of it," she snapped. "You have a 4.0 GPA from an Ivy league school and you have experience."

I sighed. "I've applied to every opening available. I'm not lying. I really do want to get a better job. Now that I want a future with Ethan, I definitely want more money."

Natascia shook her head. "It shouldn't be taking this long."

"I said I was trying," I snapped.

Stephanie leaned back in her chair, trying to stay out of the argument.

"Why is this such a big deal?" I said. "It's not like I'm poor."

"You're better than this, that's why," Natascia said. "I'm not going to let my best friend settle."

"I'm not settling. I'll inherit that bookstore when my father passes."

"But there's no guarantee that the store will even last that long. No one buys hard copies anymore, Sadie."

Jared walked into the restaurant, his eyes looking lifeless. I was relieved he was there. "Over here," I said with a wave.

He sat down next to me and I kissed him on the cheek. I wasn't normally that affectionate, but I was worried about my brother. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Have you talked to her?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"No. She doesn't want to see me anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand her situation. Her husband has been dead for years but she can't move on. It's better that she told me now rather than wait until we were in a serious relationship or something."

"I think you should talk to her."

"She told me she didn't want to see me anymore. If I pursue her, I'll scare her. That's the last thing I want, especially since that watch dog will come after me."

I knew he was referring to Ethan. "I'm sorry about him. He's just protective."

"I picked up on that," he said sarcastically.

"Don't give up, Jared."

"She has kids, Sadie. I can't just pressure her like that. I don't want to be around her kids if she doesn't want me to. As much as I wanted to be with her, it's not going to happen."

"Let me talk to her."

He glared at me. "Don't you say a word to her. Leave her alone—I mean it."

"I'm not going to lecture her if that's what you're worried about."

"No, but you are going to make her feel bad. I know she wants to be with me but she feels too guilty to reach out to me. Telling her that she should give me a chance is just going to confuse her and hurt her. I respect her decision. Leave it alone, Sadie."

"I thought you loved her? Why are you giving up?"

"Because I love her, Sadie. She has to come to me. I won't chase her down and make her cry again. I can't rush her."

"But—"

"Drop it." He grabbed the menu and looked at it.

Natascia and Stephanie looked uncomfortable. Stephanie pulled out her phone and Natascia looked at the menu even though she knew what she was ordering.

I looked Jared. "Alex isn't coming, right?"

"No."

"Good."

We had our meal together and said very little. There was tension between me and Natascia because of our argument about my job prospects, and Jared was annoyed with me for discussing Elisa. Stephanie was the only person that didn't seem to hate me at the moment.

After we paid our bill, I felt my phone ring. Excited, I reached for it, hoping it was Ethan. I was with him nearly all the time, but when we were apart it was unbearable. My smile disappeared when I saw my mother's name.

Jared looked at the phone. "Why is she calling you now? It's like six in the morning over there."

"I don't know."

"Are you going to answer it?"

I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Darling!"

I rolled my eyes. That fake British accent was annoying. "Hi, Mom."

"I have wonderful news!"

"Are you getting married?"

"God, no," she said with a laugh. "I found a job for you."

"What?"

"You know that boyfriend I told you about that worked for that magazine? Well, his copy editor was just fired and they need a replacement. Of course there are at least a thousand resumes that need to be evaluated, but I asked if he could pull some strings for me." My heart was beating so fast. "So, do you want it?"

"Is this a serious question?"

She laughed. "I knew you would say yes."

"What magazine is it?"

"The Royal."

I was starting to sweat. That was one of the biggest fashion magazines in the world. I didn't care for fashion, but with a job like that, I would get a better one. Plus, I would make great money. It was too good to be true. "Oh my god!"

"I know. It's wonderful."

Jared smiled as he listened to the conversation, his head pressed against mine. He turned to Natascia. "She just got a job!"

"Yes!" Natascia said. "That's awesome."

Stephanie clapped. "Yay."

I hushed them. "Do I need to have an interview?"

"No, of course not. I'm sleeping with him. You don't have to do anything like that."

That was way too much information. "Okay. So, do I just go down to the office?" I knew where the Royal building was. It was only a few blocks from the bookstore. It was an extra walk, but I wasn't complaining.

"Yes, he'll take you to work with him."

"Wait. What?"

"So, you can stay with me until you get back on your feet then we'll go from there. I'm so excited to see my daughter. It's been so long."

I stopped breathing. "Wait. You're talking about Royal in London?"

"Duh. What else would I be talking about?"

"The one in New York."

"Well, that doesn't make any sense. And what does it matter?"

I said nothing.

"You still want it, right?"

"Uh, yeah." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Great! I'll tell Roger. Start packing!" She hung up.

I placed the phone on the table and stared at it.

Natascia raised an eyebrow. "Why are you so sad? You were just ecstatic a moment ago."

I didn't say anything.

Jared leaned forward. "The gig is in London."

"Oh," Stephanie said sadly.

Natascia looked at me. "It doesn't matter. This is your dream, Sadie. You need to go after it. Another opportunity like this is never going to come around. You would be stupid to say no."

My throat was dry. "I—I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Natascia snapped. "This better not be because of Ethan. You are not giving this up for him. You just started dating."

"I—I can't leave him."

Natascia glared at me. "You are going to throw this away for a guy? Really? Sadie, stop being stupid. I know you are infatuated with him, but there's no guarantee it will last."

I ran my fingers through my hair. I really wanted the job but I couldn't leave Ethan. It was impossible. I was so happy with him. But that job was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Interns probably worked there for years before they were promoted to the job they actually wanted. I would cut through all of that.

Jared looked at me. "I agree with Natascia. I think you should go."

"But I won't see you anymore either—all of you."

"This is more important," he said gently. "And it's not like you're never going to see us again."

"And Dad?"

"He'll understand. He'll be ecstatic, actually."

"I don't know."

"If you really feel that way about it, work there for a few years then come back. With that experience, you can find a job anywhere."

Natascia nodded. "Yeah, Sadie. But you have to start somewhere."

I sighed. "I don't know."

"Well, you need to make up your mind soon, Sadie," Jared said.

"No," Natascia snapped. "Her mind is already made up. She's going."

I took a deep breath. "I—I need to go." I rose from the table and headed for the door. When I reached the sidewalk, I felt Jared next to me. "I need to think."

"I don't want you to walk home alone."

I said nothing. My mind was reeling with the decision before me. Do I lose this amazing opportunity, or do I lose Ethan? I didn't have a lot of time to think about it. My mom was expecting me to make the move within a few days, probably earlier than that.

We entered the building then rode the elevator. Jared walked me to my door but didn't come in.

"Good night," he said.

"Yeah." I closed the door.

Koku ran up to me and pawed my leg but I ignored him. I was too distracted to care. I sat down on the couch and stared at the blank television screen. My heart felt like it was going to burst. I didn't know what to do.

My phone started ringing.

When I saw Ethan's name, I moaned. I wasn't ready to talk to him. I ignored his call.

He called me a few minutes later. I knew he wanted to make sure I got home safely, and if I ignored his call, he would just come over because he was a crazy asshole like that.

"Hello?"

"Baby?" He heard the sadness in my voice. I tried to hide it but I was too upset. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm fine," I said.

"What happened?"

"I—I don't want to talk about it right now." I heard the sound of keys and the slamming of a door. He was coming.

"Are you home?"

I was quiet for a moment. "Yes. But please don't come, Ethan."

"I'll be there in five minutes." He hung up.

I sighed then dropped the phone on the table. He really pissed me off but I loved him so fucking much. What was I going to do? I couldn't leave him.

He knocked on the door a few minutes later, startling me. Koku ran for the door, excited to get some attention. When I unlocked the door, Ethan opened it and stepped into the room. He ignored Koku and stared at me, making sure I wasn't hurt. "What's going on? Why are you upset?"

I shut the door behind him then walked away. "Everything is fine."

"Then why are you upset, baby?" He followed behind me and wrapped his arms around me. He turned me around and made me face him. His eyes, lips, and nose were beautiful. I couldn't stand not to see them every day. "Tell me."

"I got a job."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I was offered a job as the copy editor for Royal Magazine."

He smiled. "That sounds great, Sadie. Congratulations. You don't need to be nervous. You'll do great."

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"I'm not following."

"It's in London."

His smile dropped. The light in his eyes disappeared and his lips turned white. "London?"

"Yeah."

He nodded. "Well, that's a beautiful city. You'll love it there."

"What?"

"And you'll get to see your mom."

"You want me to go?"

His eyes still looked sad. "Sadie, I know this is what you want. Of course, I want you to go."

"But then I'll have to leave you."

"I realize that."

"And you want me to leave?"

He stared at me for a moment. "I think this is a great opportunity. You're not going to find another offer like that, Sadie."

"But what about us?"

"We'll do a long-distance relationship. Work there for year then quit. With that work experience, you can find another job here."

"But—that's a long time, Ethan."

He sighed. "I want you to go, Sadie. There's not a better solution than to do a long-distance relationship. I can't fly out there because I can't afford it, but you can come here once a month or something."

"That sounds horrible."

He didn't say anything.

"I don't think I can do that, Ethan."

"Sadie, you're going. There's no discussion. I won't let you sacrifice an offer like this because of me. You've been looking for a job for a long time and none of them are as good as this."

"I know but—"

"This isn't a discussion. Did you accept the job yet?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

He closed his eyes for a moment then reopened them. "Then that's settled." He looked at the floor. "When do you leave?"

"As soon as I pack."

He nodded. "Well, I'll get some boxes from work."

I hated it. I hated the pain on his face. "Ethan, I'll stay."

"No."

We said nothing for a long time.

Ethan pulled out his phone then looked at the time. "I have to go."

"What? Where?"

"I—I need to make dinner for the kids."

"Don't lie to me."

"Just give me some space," he snapped. He turned around and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

The tears fell from my eyes as I started to cry. Koku whimpered at my feet but I ignored him. It didn't feel like I was doing the right thing. I felt like I was doing the wrong thing.

24

"Do you need help moving?" Jared asked when I answered the door.

"No."

He looked over my shoulder and saw the room. I hadn't packed anything. "It looks like you do."

I sighed. "I'm fine."

He saw the sad expression in my eyes. "You told Ethan?"

I nodded.

"What did he say?"

"He told me to leave."

"Good. You should."

"Jared, I don't want to."

"You'll regret it if you don't."

"I'll regret leaving him more."

"Sadie, you've been together for a month. Don't you think you are acting a little crazy right now?"

"I don't need to spend a lifetime with him to know that I love him."

"You aren't thinking clearly."

I said nothing.

"Have you told Dad?"

"No."

"You need to do it soon."

I sighed. "I know."

"When are you leaving?"

"I don't know. Tomorrow night or the day after."

"I'm surprised Ethan isn't here."

"He doesn't want to talk right now."

"So he's supportive but angry?"

"No. I think he's just sad—miserable."

"You can always do long-distance."

"They never work, Jared. I don't want to do that."

He said nothing.

I stepped out the door then locked it behind me.

"Where are you going?"

"To the shop."

"You're going to tell him?"

"Yeah."

"You want me to come?"

"I would prefer it if you didn't."

He nodded. "Okay."

We walked inside the elevator and rode to the bottom floor. Before I stepped out, Jared grabbed my arm. "You're doing the right thing, Sadie."

I pulled away and didn't respond. I walked down the street until I reached the small shop on the corner. My dad was checking the register.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "Have a good weekend?"

"It was okay."

"Why the long face?"

"I have to tell you something, Daddy."

"And what is that?"

I looked at him. "I was offered a job working as a copy editor for Royal Magazine. It's a great job but I'll have to move to London. I leave tomorrow."

My dad didn't react. He was quiet for a long time. He was the first person who wasn't happy for me. He looked more depressed than Ethan did.

"Dad?"

"That's great, honey. But I don't understand."

"I like working here, but I want to do something in my field. I've always wanted to write for a magazine."

"No, that's not what I meant."

"Now I don't understand."

"What about Ethan?"

I stared at him. "What do you mean?"

"Are you going to break up with him?"

"I—I don't know. We haven't decided yet."

He nodded but didn't say anything.

"Dad, what's wrong? You don't seem very happy."

"Nothing."

"Dad, tell me."

He sighed. "I thought you really liked this guy."

"I do."

He said nothing.

"Are you saying I shouldn't go?" There was no way that's what he meant. Everyone said I would be stupid to stay behind for a single guy.

"Don't take this the wrong way, honey. But why are you going to throw away someone you love for a job? Is it because of the money, the location?"

"No, of course not."

He shook his head. "Then I don't understand. You mother left me because she wanted to work for that makeup company in London. She said it was her dream." I felt my heart stop. He never talked about why they broke up. "I couldn't just close the shop, my dream, and I couldn't move my kids across the ocean. She wanted to go anyway."

"So she left you?"

He nodded.

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I thought this guy was the one, Sadie? I've never seen you with anyone before nor have I ever seen you so happy. You guys are passionate and argumentative, but happy. Is a job really more important than what you found in him?"

"You think I should stay?"

"I think you should stay if you love the guy. If you leave, then you obviously don't. Your mother didn't love me—she still doesn't."

"You're right."

"I'm always right."

I smiled. "Thank you."

"Did you already talk to him?"

"I told him I was leaving."

"And what did he say?"

"He was supportive."

He shook his head. "Go get him, Sadie. He's a good guy. I was selfish and fought for your mother until her plane took off. He's strong to put aside his own desires and put you first. He loves you."

I felt the tears bubble under my eyes. "I know."

"Now go tell him that."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Daddy."

He patted me on the back. "Of course. I wouldn't want you to make the biggest mistake of your life."

"I'll see you later."

"So, you aren't working today?" he asked with a smile.

"No, I have to talk to Ethan." I left the shop and took a cab to his place across town. When I knocked on the door, Elisa stared at me through the peep hole before she finally opened it.

"Hey," she said sadly. "Is everything okay?"

"Can I wait here until Ethan gets home?"

"Uh, he's home now."

"He didn't go to work?"

She shook her head. "He called in sick."

I went inside and she shut the door.

"So, I heard that you're moving?"

"No," I said quickly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not?"

"No. I'm not leaving Ethan."

Her face broke out into a grin and she grabbed her chest. "Thank god."

"I'm sorry that I hurt your brother."

"It doesn't matter," she said quickly. "Please go tell him the news. Hurry. I can't stand to see him like this."

I turned around and walked down the hallway. When I got to his door, it was locked. I knocked.

"What?" he snapped.

"Open the door."

"Sadie?"

"Ethan."

He opened the door and looked at me. "Why are you here? I said I needed my space."

"Ethan, let me come inside."

He stared at me for a moment before he stepped away, allowing me into his room. He closed the door behind him. "What?"

"I'm not going."

"What? Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"I'm not changing my mind."

He glared at me. "Sadie, we already discussed this. It would be stupid if you didn't take that job."

"And it would be dumber if I left you. It's just a job, Ethan. There will be others."

He shook his head. "I can't let you sacrifice your dream."

"You are my dream, Ethan. I want to marry you and have kids with you. It's a different kind of dream, a better one."

He stared at me. "Sadie—"

"Shut up."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm not leaving. I didn't lose my virginity to you because I was horny or just wanted to get laid. I picked you because I loved you. How long will it take me to find someone else that makes me feel this way—if ever? And what about you? You spent your whole life looking for me. Now you're just going to let me go?"

Ethan sat on the bed and stared at me.

"I'll keep looking for jobs here. And I like where I work now."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Sadie, are you sure? Your family is going to be so disappointed."

"No, they won't. My brother will be upset for a while but he'll get over it. I know he doesn't want me to leave either."

"And your dad?"

"He was the one who told me to stay."

"He said that?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because love is more important than money or success. And he's right."

He pulled me onto his lap and pressed his nose against mine. "We've only been together for a month, Sadie."

"And that's all the time I need. I know you're the one."

"I don't know if I can be selfish and let you stay."

"But I don't want to go, Ethan. You would be selfish by forcing me."

He took a deep breath. "Is that your final answer, Sadie? You aren't going to leave me?"

I kissed him. "I'm never leaving you, Ethan. You are stuck with me."

His eyes started to turn red with unspent tears. "Thank god."

I laughed. "I knew you didn't want me to go."

"I didn't know what I was going to do, Sadie. My whole world ended. I would move with you in a heartbeat, but I couldn't leave my family."

"Well, now we don't have to worry about it."

"God, I'm so relieved."

I kissed the moisture around his eyes and ran my fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry that I even considered it, babe."

"Don't apologize."

"And I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"You're forgiven. I'm just happy that I'm not losing you."

"You never have to worry about that, Ethan."

"Promise me."

"Ethan, I promise that you never have to worry about that—ever."
Epilogue

When I told my brother I wasn't moving, he was mad but he got over it. Natascia, on the other hand, was just furious. She argued with me for days—weeks. My mother was disappointed and angry that I turned down the offer. She was looking forward to seeing me on a regular basis. I hated to hurt her feelings, but I didn't feel too bad about it. She was the one that left us to begin with.

Since Ethan is the only man I've ever loved, it didn't make sense to risk losing him. We had only been together for a short period of time, but I knew I loved him in a way that I would never love anyone else. He was everything to me. How could I even think about leaving him for a job? I was stupid for even considering it.

Elisa was ecstatic that Ethan and I were staying together. I made her brother happy and she wanted to keep it that way. Plus, she always had an extra babysitter around. She didn't mention Jared or ask about him. She acted like nothing happened. The knowledge that they wouldn't be together made me really sad. I understood that it was hard for her to move on, but I knew my brother could make her happy. I decided not to bring it up. It really wasn't my place to interfere with her relationships.

When I came home from work one afternoon, I inserted my keys in the door and unlocked it. Normally Koku would whine at the door as soon as he heard the keys, but today he wasn't doing that. It had me worried.

When I finally got the door opened, I felt my heart pound. All the lights were off but candles lit the room. Rose pedals were sprinkled everywhere. Ethan was on one knee in the middle of the floor. I dropped my purse as I covered my face. "Oh my god."

He smiled at me. "Come here."

I stepped closer and looked down at him. "Ethan."

"Before you say anything, let me talk."

"Uh, okay."

"I know our relationship has been nothing close to normal. We play by our own rules and live by our own standards. I used to be a disgusting asshole, but now I'm a monogamous man, and you used to be a blushing virgin but now you're a whore—for me." I felt my cheeks redden. "And instead of waiting for an appropriate time to ask you this, I decided to rush it." He opened the box and showed it to me. A single key sat on the cushion. "I want to marry you someday and I know we should wait, but I can't wait to be around you all the time. I need to see you every morning and every night. I need to make love to you before I go to sleep and I need to kiss you every morning. This isn't permanent, just until the kids start school in a year, but Sadie, will you move in with me and my family?"

I lowered myself to my knees and looked at him. The tears sprang from my eyes. "Ethan."

He smiled at me. "What's your answer?"

"Yes, of course I will." I took the box and grabbed the small key. It was ordinary but it represented so much. "Yes."

He grabbed my face and kissed me. "I was hoping you would say that."

"I love you so much, Ethan."

"I love you too, baby."

"And if you thought this was romantic, wait until my marriage proposal."

I wiped my tears away. "You already know what you are going to do?"

He nodded. "It's already planned."

"Then why don't we just get married?"

He stared at me for a moment. "You want to? I know we haven't been together very long."

"Ethan, time has no meaning for us."

"You're serious?"

"Unless—you know—you aren't ready."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out another box. "Baby, I've been ready." He opened it and displayed the engagement ring to me. It was small with only a single diamond, but it was so beautiful. It was perfect.

I started to cry. "Oh, Ethan."

His eyes started to turn red. "Baby, will you do me the honor of marrying me, putting up with this crazy asshole, and making me the happiest man in the world?"

I sniffed. "Yes."

He placed the ring onto my finger while he looked into my eyes. "You're mine forever."

"That's how it's always been."

He kissed me again. "And I'm yours."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"I can," he said with smile.

"I'm so happy."

"As am I."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. "I love you, Ethan."

"And I love you, Sadie."

"You're okay with putting up with this jealous bitch?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, baby."

"You're my first."

"What do you mean?"

"You're the first last man I'm going to make love to."

"No. I'm the only man you're ever going to make love to—forever."

The story continues....

Elisa

(Book Two in the Alpha Series)

Available Now

About the Author

E. L. Todd was raised in California where she attended California State University, Stanislaus and received her bachelor's degree in biological sciences, then continued onto her master's degree in education. While she considers science to be interesting, her true passion is writing. She works as an assistant editor at Final-Edits.com.

By E. L. Todd

Soul Catcher

(Book One of the Soul Saga)

Soul Binder

(Book Two of the Soul Saga)

Available December 2013

Only For You

(Book one of the Forever and Always Series)

Forever and Always

(Book Two of the Forever and Always Series)

Edge of Love

(Book three of the Forever and Always Series)

Sadie

(Book One of the Alpha Series)

Elisa

(Book Two of the Alpha Series)

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