'Virtue Baby'. We are with you once again on this series. Namasthe.
Having a new addition to the family is said to be a precious time in anybody's life.
Especially when there is a child being welcomed to the family.
It's a beautiful journey for the mother.
In this series we understood how to welcome the baby
We also saw how that child's journey in the would be while in the womb.
And that child's journey on its own.
A lot of important aspects that we were unaware, are revealed.
Now is the time to understand everything.
Sharing the knowledge so that it is implemented, is the intention of the show.
We have the well-known senior Gynaecologist doctor Nitika Sobti with us. Namaste.
Namaste.
And we have Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani. Om Shanti.
Om Shanti.
Dr Nitika we have spoken a lot about diet.
Right from how much it affects the baby when the baby is in the womb.
I like to talk about relationships.
It is much talked about and even workshops are conducted on this aspect.
That a relationship with a child is formed so early.
And now we understand that the being is within.
So we did not wait for the baby to come out, to begin a relationship.
When everything is happening at that stage, how is my relationship with the child?
It's a very important topic.
I would like to share that a lot of studies have gone into it.
Perinatology is an extensive branch.
When the mother starts feeling the movement of the baby around 5th or 6th month
It will be very subtle. Sometimes it will be very delayed in the first time.
As a caregiver or as a doctor we ask our patients
Somewhere we are responsible to make sure they feel the baby's movements.
Because for them it is a new thing.
A lot of mothers say that they don't even feel the movements.
Only after explaining and counselling to make them understand, will their relationship begin with the child.
Once they start feeling, then the bonding starts very clearly.
We can tell that the bonding is there right from the beginning.
But after they feel the movements, the bonding becomes much stronger.
It's like if we have to imagine a person
Without seeing them also we can remember and imagine them. In that way we meet them.
In this way we counsel those parents.
We call it prenatal body language.
The body language of the baby which is getting formed within, at around the fifth month.
If we go by experimental studies, which was new for me also.
Even a 6-week baby engages in sucking. What will the baby suck when the thumb is not yet formed?
Whatever is the budding at 6 weeks
The mouth is not yet formed
But doctors have studied the reflexes over a period of time and they have come to know.
Towards the 16th week the baby's taste buds start forming.
The baby gets all the flavours from the mother.
We were talking about it - about what the mother should eat and drink.
This is the reason for cravings and aversions - why are they experienced?
Because when all the flavours enter the amniotic fluid
If the baby does not like it then you will feel the discomfort because of that food.
In case of mothers who are bonded with their child
They say - I just can't eat this now, although I loved it so much earlier. I feel uncomfortable as soon as I eat it.
How did we confirm it scientifically?
Because we tested the amniotic fluid.
The amniotic fluid contains that flavour.
That is how the baby is getting it.
And how is the baby responding?
Only because the taste buds are developed, the baby is able to respond.
So we need to be very careful about food, and we have already spoken a lot about it.
Coming further, the baby's hearing is developed by the 24th week.
The child can hear by then.
It's an extremely old study.
We give several examples to the mothers. Many people would have had also about what I want to share.
There are many babies born due to pre-maturity. Many premature babies are born.
We studied about those babies also.
Because we kept them in nurseries.
Because they were in the nurseries, we could notice all their traits.
This is how we were able to prove.
We could notice that they hear.
When we give them a nice music therapy
We rocked the babies in a cradle.
It's like how when the mother walks, it is like a wobbly walk.
It is not a very easy walk.
They will have to toss and turn a little bit.
So it will be a rocking kind of movement
It is very important for that child because it has become a habit.
What is the first sound that the child hears?
Voice of the mother.
In the womb - it's the mother's heartbeat.
Even the gurgling of the mother's stomach.
Sometimes we ourselves feel it.
Since the child is inside, it is easily heard.
When those sounds were played to the pre-matured babies who were kept in the nursery
Rocking in cradle, music therapy and gurgling sound
It was observed that the baby could be discharged from the nursery sooner.
Because you are giving them the same developmental environment.
When we start to understand such subtle things.
How beautifully we can bond with the child.
When we bond so well with the baby
Then the few discomforts that we face during pregnancy
And the pregnancy related anxiety
If we call it an episode, then anxiety is a big episode on its own.
When we talk of anxiety in pregnancy and its ill effects.
That automatically reduces when the mother bonds with baby.
Even in your family, if you are well bonded with whoever you live with,
If everything is clear in the relationship, then there is no anxiety.
Anxiety happens only when you don't have faith in the nature.
Awesome where you don't have faith in yourself.
We also come in the equation as caregivers.
So trusting the whole process of pregnancy and labour.
Trusting your own self that you are going to be able to carry this pregnancy nicely.
Trusting that you are in safe hands.
You are safe with your doctor and with your family. Nature is also supporting you.
This makes bonding easy and there will be no anxiety.
The fear finishes.
When we talk of the bonding factor
Usually we talk to the child only when he is in front of us.
Only then we realise that we are talking to the child
The child may react or not react
But only at that time we feel we are connected.
When the child is there in front of us.
But so many times when the mother, father or the whole family wants to bond.
When the baby kicks in the womb, that is the only time they understand.
The visualisation does not happen otherwise.
How important is it to connect at this time? And the child has no other information and we are the only people around.
With whom is our bonding happening?
This is very important.
Now we are talking of kick, movement, hearing, taste buds and seeing.
All these are physical. But actually with whom is our bonding happening?
Even after the child is born, with whom is our bonding getting created?
It is not with the body.
It will manifest through the body.
Like you said the baby smiles or speaks.
But if you look at it, our bonding is not with the body.
When somebody leaves the body - let's look at that time.
When somebody in the family leaves the body
The body is there.
The living being has left.
We say the soul has left the body.
Thereafter we do not keep the body beyond a few hours or beyond a day at home.
Our relationship was with the soul.
Once the soul has left, even if the body is perfect, it is of no use to keep it.
Likewise when the baby is in the womb, the body is not completely formed.
But the soul has already arrived.
That I have to remember, that I don't have to wait for the entire body to be developed
And only then I will bond with the child.
The soul clearly catches everything I think or say, as clearly as
The child would catch after coming out of the womb.
The soul listens and sees through the body.
But the communication of the soul or the mind is at the level of thoughts, vibrations and feelings.
When somebody is in coma, the body is there. But they cannot see, hear or speak anything.
But the soul which is in the body can catch everything that you speak.
Only the body is inactive.
So we have to remember that our relationship with the child has started long back.
And if we are aware that the soul has already come,
It is a soul with whom I have a beautiful connection from the past and also now in the present.
Let me now start talking.
Whether the child can hear us or not.
Because the child can catch everything.
When the child can catch regarding the previous family which he has left behind
When the child can catch that,
Now whenever the child is, can he not catch everything going on there?
You can introduce everything to the child.
But what is critical is how you introduce.
Because you will introduce everything
Only as per your own perception.
Your whole attitude about the world
Many mothers say - I don't know why I need to bring you into this world.
Even otherwise whatever you think about the world
It means your own small world around, and the whole world at large.
What you think about everything is your first introduction to the child.
You are actually introducing the world to your child.
When the child is in your womb.
Since that phase you are introducing the child to the world.
Even if you are stuck in traffic
Whatever you think is the message you are sending to the child.
At that time start talking to your child like you would talk to any soul.
You can even introduce all your relatives to your child during this phase.
Supposing you are not in good terms with your mother in law.
This is actually so critical.
You do not like her but what a strong first impression your making for the child.
Is it fair? Is it fair to her? Is it fair to the child?
So we have to be very careful about what we think, and what our attitude is towards other people.
It is already influencing this soul's programming.
It is a deep influence.
If we don't like something, it is possible that the child also will not like it in future.
And whatever we like, the child may also like it in future.
We have to be very careful because we are doing very deep, subconscious programming.
It is happening at this time.
Start talking nice things to the child.
You are talking with somebody else the child is listening.
I was thinking about when the child starts hearing
If music therapy has an effect on the child, what about the music of our words?
How do we talk to each other? If we speak loudly or use abusive language
Or if we are shouting at someone
Even when the couple is talking to each other
The baby is listening.
Actually once the baby is born, we take care of all these things. Isn't it?
We always remember that the child is listening.
We will not talk in front of the child, or we understand it will influence the child.
So many people put up with their marriages only for the reason - it will otherwise affect the child.
We have to remember that right from the beginning, the child is getting influenced.
Start talking to the soul, remembering that the child understands everything.
You can also tell the soul - I understand you have left behind so much from your previous family
You might be in pain. But don't worry.
You have come to our house now. We will take care of you very lovingly.
The baby catches everything.
Start comforting the soul so the healing begins.
Let the child become confident.
Because there is an uncertainty in the soul. Why does the soul feel scared in the womb?
Where am I going? What will happen to me there?
So you start telling the child from the beginning itself.
In Mahabharata it is said that Abhimanyu heard about the entire Chakravyuh
There is a logic and the story is giving us a message -
That Abhimanyu understood all the nuances of entering the Chakravyuh.
He heard it when the husband and wife were talking to each other.
It implies that the husband and wife today need to be so careful when talking to each other.
Abhimanyu heard it and learnt it also when in the womb.
So we need to check what we are talking to each other.
Today Medical Science is seeing evidences of reactions.
As I mentioned, one of the body languages of the baby is spontaneous movements in the baby - moving hands or moving legs.
The baby is doing it spontaneously.
If we come to the second part - the movement of the baby is a reaction to the environment.
Whatever is happening around the baby, what is the reaction to it.
The third behaviour of body language is said to be the social behaviour.
About mutually how they behave - if there are twins.
They have studied up to that extent.
If we consider reaction to environment - that is one kind of body language
Medical science has clearly seen how the heart rate of the baby increases with loud music.
When the music slows down, even the heart rate comes down.
And then again heart rate increases with loud music.
Sometimes when the mother is watching a movie
They feel that the child is becoming hyperactive inside the womb.
They will even have to come out of the hall because of it.
It is the baby's reaction to the environment.
That what is happening outside
If we think in disharmony? Also these reactions are not very obvious all the time.
We cannot think - This happened once and the baby reacted. It does not make a difference to me.
All the studies done are giving us an indication
About how much reaction is happening within about every single thing.
They have done a study on twins.
About how a baby connects socially
The first one (which we discussed till now) was about the child's reaction to the environment outside.
The third body language which is studied is - how a baby reacts with another baby in the womb.
There are two kinds of twins, as we know.
One is identical twins - where a single egg fuses with a single sperm.
One embryo is formed and it divides into two.
This creates two identical babies.
But the organ which supplies food to them, the placenta, is the same.
It means their source of nutrition is just one placenta.
In the other kind of twins - there are two eggs and two sperms. And there are two sources of nutrition - two placentas.
The Placenta is connected to the child through a cord. There are two of them.
Where there are two - you there is a dividing membrane which is thick.
Where as in identical twins where there is a single placenta, the dividing membrane is very minimal and only in few areas.
So when they studied twins, they saw that
Twins touch each other's hands to communicate.
They have made extensive studies that the twins communicate.
In some cases they have even seen that the twins punch each other.
So all the social behaviours are developing right when they are in the womb.
If we can communicate inside among themselves, they can communicate with us too.
Tapping game is a very common game, about which I tell my patients.
The baby inside needs training (to respond).
Suppose we tapped one day or two days, and the baby did not respond
Then we think my baby does not even respond.
This assumption is wrong.
Tapping the baby?
If you tap on the abdomen, the baby will respond to you by kicking.
Many parents train their baby in such a way that
When the tap on this side, the baby kicks also on this side only.
And when the tap on the other side, the baby kicks on that side.
Because the baby is active socially.
This is a bonding.
They know everything.
Science has proved it.
It is a soul to soul connection, as Sister Shivani explained.
When you say they know everything, look at it at a soul level.
Generally we look at the level of the body - the little hands, little face...
But the soul - for example, right now you are in this costume.
In the previous episode you were in a different costume.
You are exactly the same person, but only the costume has changed.
Similarly the soul is the same, but the costume (body) has changed.
4 months ago, that soul had a 70 year or 80 year costume.
There was so much maturity, wisdom and knowledge.
That soul has not left all those things.
When a soul leaves the body, it carries forward all its Sanskars.
Now the soul has come in a different costume.
Right now the soul cannot express because it does not yet have the organs to speak or hear.
But the soul has thoughts and feelings from the past
And the soul is catching the present and responding
It means the soul has already begun its relationship with us.
When we start communicating, our relationship gets stronger.
As Dr Nitika mentioned, if loud audio is having an impact
We can take care not to go to the theatre during this time.
Even if you are watching a peaceful movie, it will be loud in a theatre.
Why can't we take care of such small things?
But I have seen that it feels like such a big restriction to the mother.
She may start feeling suffocated.
For a minute let's not talk about pregnancy. But will you take a 2 month old baby to a theatre?
During the first year of his life, we say - There are so many people, he may catch infection or he may feel scared.
Even think of the baby's eardrums. So we don't take the baby there.
We need to tell this to parents.
As care givers it is our responsibility to make them aware.
We tell them so many things but sometimes we don't prepare them for these Lifestyle changes initially.
But later during pregnancy if there is an issue we handle it.
So this is the entire intention behind Virtue Baby.
Talking about what all we should do. But what are the things we should not do?
One is that we are not even aware. But the moment the mother gets information
Whether a doctor tells her, mother in law tells her or someone else - she feels restricted.
But now when she understands that she should not do it
What are the aspects which the mother should not do - because they are very harmful?
We should avoid listening to loud music.
Because that music is shaking the baby's sensory and nervous system.
Suddenly the music gets loud and suddenly it is turned off - let us avoid it.
Unnecessarily we tend to watch crime or horror movies. Let us avoid them.
The baby is listening to everything.
The babies feeling our emotions too.
So if we avoid, it is definitely better.
Listen to something which is soothing and peaceful.
Even if you look at a non-pregnant person - when they come home, if soft music is playing
Even if they had worked very hard, they feel relaxed.
Similarly - now the baby is also within us.
We have the responsibility of a new creation. It is important to keep the baby happy and relaxed.
If we follow these small measures
When we do it with awareness it will not feel like a restriction.
The parent might get a thought that if the child is understanding everything
The child will come into the same world, we cannot save the child from different things.
Why shouldn't we introduce everything to the child now itself?
What is the concept of an adult movie?
What is the concept? -  You allow the child to watch something only after they are 18 or 20 years old.
When should someone be introduced to something?
When a soul is catching everything and creating its Sanskars
At that time if we watch crime, watch something loud or violent
And most importantly the baby is catching your emotions.
Those emotions will become the baby's emotions.
The movie will have an impact because the baby is listening.
But the bigger impact is of your emotions.
So first you need to check what is the impact of that movie on yourself.
Very scientifically they have said -
As is the emotion of the mother, so will be the emotion of the child.
Science is not saying - your state of mind will influence the child's state of mind.
They don't even use the word 'influence' in Science today.
They say - As is the mother's mind, so will be the child's mind.
Now you check how you are responding to that movie.
If there is even a little stimulus created - of horror or violence
There are a lot of things you watch - jealousy, betrayal
Your mind will respond to all that.
Even if it is not crime, look at TV serials - somebody is cheating the other
Somebody is doing something wrong, somebody is manipulating - you will keep thinking about it isn't it?
Today the story of a TV serial goes on in our mind throughout the day.
My emotions and my thoughts are becoming my child's emotions. I have to take care.
Just like we take care of the physical diet, we need to take care of emotional diet.
For nine months we should stop watching news on TV or reading newspaper.
Just ban it for yourself.
Because there is very little positive information for you to read or watch.
Even for us, it is damaging to watch or read news as the first thing in the morning.
Even if they stop it, there is another aspect I notice as a private practitioner
They listen to a lot of experiences (relating to pregnancy) from peer groups around them.
We may not only listen to it, we may even absorb that information completely.
It has a very deep impact.
Each and every doubt and fear we create based on somebody else's experience and relive it within ourselves
We need to eliminate them one by one.
It is very important.
What should you feed the mind with? You should filter it.
You should really put it to yourself - No I cannot feed this to the mind.
Just like we say I cannot take alcohol, let us say - I cannot take this information.
This information will create this effect on my mind.
And as is my mind, so will be my child's mind.
I cannot take this information.
When you filter information and take care, you are playing a very, very big role in creating the Sanskars of the child.
It is the best, lifetime gift that you are giving to your child.
The entire emotional bank.
And it is only your responsibility.
Once the baby comes out, he will have the entire external environment. Many people will be involved.
But this is something which is there in your hands.
It is doable, it is not a big deal.
Thank you so much for making us aware of these things.
As we have been discussing, the ball is in our court.
Sometimes we ignore our well being
We say I am liking this, I am enjoying this and we do certain things.
But if my child starts becoming that way
Today if I am endorsing the emotion of fear by chance
Will I want my baby in my womb also to get scared?
We really need to think. Maybe that emotion is stimulating me.
But do I want to give that emotion to my child?
It could be of excitement of any other form.
If we remain aware of all these things
We can change our lifestyle especially during pregnancy
And many other things will change in due course.
We will discuss many other aspects in this series.
Meanwhile if you want to share anything with us, please send an email.
That's all we have for today. Namaste.
