hello guys welcome back to my channel
and welcome back to a all new self-care
summer video today we are going to be
doing a highly requested video which is
how to feel more confident how to build
self-confidence and how to stop caring
what people think I'm gonna tell you
guys about my experiences how I got to a
place where I feel pretty confident with
talking to people I feel confident
talking on a stage so we're gonna go
through different levels of confidence
and just ways to build it and tools to
use to just become an all-around more
confident human being before we get into
this video please make sure that you
guys are subscribed to my channel if you
guys are enjoying this self-care summer
series make sure you're subscribed so
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turn notifications on as well so that
you are alerted right when my video
comes out and before we get into this
video please give it a thumbs up if you
are enjoying self-care summers my first
piece of advice is to really be okay
with who you are and I know that you're
probably thinking okay that's easier
said than done but the way that I've
done this is through experience and
through history of realizing why I'm
holding myself back from being Who I am
in my Instagram caption it says don't
hide your magic because it hides your
magic which is who you are from the
world then you're doing the universe
disservice you're just sort of leaving
out all of your magic and we don't get
to experience that I'm gonna give you
guys kind of what has happened to me in
the past for a long time I would sit
down with people and I would like how
old these thoughts about like but you
could do this you could think about it
this way
you know I would have these like
positive thoughts in my mind doing these
things that I've wanted to tell people
and the only person I would really
always do that with was my mom if my mom
is having a feeling of self doubt or
feeling of like um today kind of is not
a good day or whatever I always felt
comfortable expressing like okay mom
come on and giving her like these
motivation speaks because she's my mom
and I just feel the most comfortable
with her but when it came to like
friends and and other family members and
just you know my everyday life I always
held back that part of me and I just
would be like oh yeah I know I feel like
I would never share what I wanted to
share because I felt like people were
gonna think I was annoying or just like
not as cool as them or whatever that
might be and I held that back for a long
time and then I don't know what shifted
but one day I was just like I'm gonna be
me and I'm going to say the things that
are on my mind and I'm going to embrace
Who I am fully and I'm going to run with
Who I am and I'm going to embrace it to
my fullest potential and that is for
whatever type of human being you are and
when I say type of human being you are
that sounds kind of strange but I just
mean whatever your passion or the way
that you talk about things or whatever
is going on in your mind let it out like
let it be you if you are weird if you
are cool if you are different if you are
like you know somebody who has these
crazy thoughts all the time or whatever
it might be like just put it out there
because like people need that from you
and when you hone in on who you are and
you let it out it's like my favorite
quote from Henry Thoreau and I might not
be saying it word-for-word but it's
something along the lines of when you
bring what is within out into the world
miracles happen and I love that because
it's entirely true because it's exactly
what I'm talking about right now in a
very poetic way so thank you Henry
Thoreau for putting it out into the
world that way my next piece of advice
for you is to try to become as clear as
possible on the things that matter to
you and what your purpose is in life
I know that that's sounds heavy because
people are probably thinking I need to
know my main purpose in life to be able
to be confident and no that's not
entirely true but being able to focus
and become more clear on the things that
matter to you
will really help you find your passion
and that in turn helps you become more
confident because you can speak
confidently about the things that you're
passionate about in life so if you're
somebody who loves the ocean and you
want to protect the ocean and you will
find out what you can about that and you
will speak to it intelligently about the
ocean and the way to conserve it and
make sure that you can help the animals
in the ocean and all these things that
you just become so smart and you become
so confident when you talk to somebody
in a conversation about these things and
for me for instance I know my passion is
human connection I know my passion is to
help people feel more relaxed I know my
passion is to take stress off of people
in any way that I can learn more about
doing that I love it and so what I'm
talking about things like self-care I am
so passionate about it and so when I
talk about these things I may seem a
little bit more confident in
conversation because I am so ecstatic
and excited about it when you become
clear of your passions and when you
speak about what you're passionate about
your eyes light up and it's like that
Pinterest quote that I know we've all
seen a million times or at least I know
I have repented a million times where it
says the most beautiful thing to see is
somebody talking about the things that
they love in life because their eyes
light up it's like my favorite thing to
see and it's true your eyes light up you
become so beautiful when you are
passionate about something and when you
know that you have a purpose of some
sort so I think really sitting down and
thinking about what is my purpose what
is something that I really want to focus
on or what change do I want to make in
the world this next one is a good one
and if you are all here watching this
self-care summer you are already doing
this this next one is to find the time
to take care of yourself so find the
time to look inside to take care of
yourself and also primarily for
confidence take the time to take care of
your body so brushing your hair
the morning brushing your teeth flossing
working out doing a skincare routine all
these things are gonna help with your
confidence because I know for me if I
woke up and I've been busy all morning
working working working and somebody
comes over and I've only had my coffee
and I've been on the phone doing emails
and all these things and I haven't
brushed my teeth yet then I'm not
confident because I'm like I can't have
this conversation with you yet hold on a
second like things like that you have to
do to feel confident in conversation
when you go to work and you've taken
care of yourself and groomed yourself
before you go in then you go to work
feeling like okay I look good today
I took care of myself I can not think
about how I look
test your comfort zone that is my next
piece of advice and this is the best way
to build confidence because confidence
doesn't come over night as we all know
it takes time to build it but testing
out your comfort zone is such a great
way to build confidence for me as you
guys know I've talked about this before
it took me three years before I ever
built up the confidence to post a video
on YouTube I'm glad that I did because
now I am here doing this and I'm it's my
job now but I held myself back from
doing it for so long because I cared
what people thought and because I didn't
want them to think that I was weird and
because I thought it was weird YouTube
four and a half years ago wasn't what it
is today so it was something where I
just kind of felt like people are gonna
think I'm weird for uploading videos the
internet finally one day I said okay I'm
gonna test my comfort zone today I'm
gonna close my eyes press publish on
this video run away and see what happens
and I did just that I tested my comfort
zone and there's every single day
now that I do what I'm doing I test my
comfort zone there's always things that
I'm like ooh do I want to do that do I
want to fly there and do this job it's
gonna be interesting
I'm gonna a little bit nervous about how
it's gonna go down but you know what I'm
gonna test my comfort zone and when I do
it and when I survive through a
circumstance then I'll always come out
thinking like oh my gosh I'm so glad
that I did that because
now I have so much confidence for the
next thing that I go into so it's a
learning experience throughout the
process like you learn as you go you
learn as you break out of your comfort
zone you learn through failure you learn
through all these mishaps and you
realize even when things go bad you
realize oh my gosh that's okay that I
got through that that wasn't that bad it
was probably the worst it could be and
great I'm fine and I'm okay and I can
continue doing what I'm doing and I just
think that that is the number one way to
build confidence over time just keep
testing your comfort zone just keep
testing it lastly put yourself out there
make yourself do things that you're not
comfortable with
and yes this goes very much so
hand-in-hand with testing out your
comfort zone but this one I'm primarily
speaking about public speaking because
that is a primary concern when it comes
to confidence people say all the time I
don't feel good speaking in front of a
classroom I don't feel good at public
speaking I don't want to go on this
panel I just I don't do that I get
really nervous my heart beats really
quickly I totally get it I have been
there I have been on a panel one time
where my heart was going so quickly
somebody asked me a question that I just
turned to the person next to me and was
like you answer this because I was so
scared because I was so just wrapped up
in my anxiety now I feel so at ease when
I want to piano and if I have a moment
where I missed half on a word or if I am
going in a different direction and what
I thought I was going to be that's
normal I am so at ease now that I can
just kind of like navigate that and make
it sound clear anyways it takes time to
get there and it takes a lot of putting
yourself out there I have been going to
things like playlist live or any panel
that I have been requested to yeah I
always say yes to now because I know
that the more I put myself out there and
get up in front of an audience the
better I will become at public speaking
and so just putting yourself out there
no matter what even if it's going to be
so hard sometimes just do it because
you'll start learning those feelings
that you get in the
anxiety's and you'll start learning how
to overcome them I like to do a
breathing method so the moment that I
start feeling my heartbeat going super
quickly and the moment that I start
feeling like oh this is gonna be bad
what am I gonna do I just I always
positive self-talk myself in those
moments as well I tell myself this is no
big deal you got this you know exactly
what these people are talking about you
have experienced this you have things to
say you're going to be okay just breathe
it's all good those are some of my
simple quick easy ways to feel a little
bit more confident in different life
moments whether it's just talking to
somebody or whether it's getting up on a
stage in public speaking I hope that
this video was helpful for you guys I
have some self-care summer homework for
you guys it's very easy homework but
it's gonna take a second for you guys to
think about in the comments below let me
know what do you guys want people to
feel when they are standing in front of
you and they're talking to you so here's
somebody who's listening what do you
want the person who's talking to you to
feel and why I'm asking you this is
because I have dealt with so many
different types of people in my life and
I know that you guys have as well and
there's there's different types of
people that we like talking to you know
what I mean like when you're having a
conversation with somebody you're like
you can like sense what the person on
the other side is feeling are they
listening do they really care do they
think what you're saying is weird
are they open-minded how is this person
responding to you and what is their like
nature like when they're in conversation
with you I find it really fascinating
and interesting and it's been really a
focus for me recently to be a person who
if someone is talking to me I want to be
there engaged with them in looking at
them and I want them to feel like I want
to hear them and I want them to feel
comfortable I love people but when I'm
talking to them and let's say I have a
moment of like social anxiety where I'm
like not making fully sense but they're
just like oh I totally know what you
mean I love those types of people so I
just want to know what you guys want
people to feel when they're talking to
you because then
way you might start thinking about like
how am I when people are talking to me
and we're listening am i cool and my do
am i comfortable like do these people
feel comfortable talking to me just a
random thought that I have so let me
know in the comments what you guys think
and I hope that you enjoyed this video I
will see you guys very soon
in about a day with an all or like two
days I guess is it's every other day I
keep saying it's a day but it kind of
feels like a day so it's like I'll see
you in kind of two days but like a day
ish already I'm gonna stop rambling now
because this is what this is right now
it's just rambles I love you guys and I
will see you very soon
