
Life in the Palace

Book one of the Palace Saga

Catherine Green
All paths lead to the Palace
Prologue

At the time it didn't even make my top ten list of the weirdest things that had ever happened to me. Afterwards my whole weird-o-meter got totally recalibrated. The thing about freaky life changing events is that, outside of TV, they don't usually come with convenient background music to alert you to pay attention.

She got a text message. This is a fairly standard occurrence, even for the socially inept Tal. Her brow furrowed as she quickly responded.

"I've got to go," she said, quickly gathering up her books.

I stood to leave also. "I'll walk you out. I've had enough for today."

She looked thrown. "I'm in a bit of a rush."

"I can go quickly." I followed her briskly down the corridor. Her eyes darted around in the elevator.

"Is everything okay?" This girl was getting weirder and weirder. I decided that next semester I'd find a new study partner.

"Yes, of course. I just have to go and do something. I hope I didn't miss the bus. Do you think I missed the bus?"

I had a feeling she didn't really expect me to answer. As we hurried down the path to the bus stop, she was muttering under her breath. I listened carefully.

"Please send me a bus. I need to do the Service."

Maybe I'd just study by myself for the rest of the summer session.

As we skirted around the iron gates at the entrance to the drive, we saw the bus pull away.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Will you have to wait long for the next one?" I was concerned. She looked at me wide-eyed. She didn't blink.

"No," she said. "Another bus is coming now."

I peered at the faded timetable on the bus stop wall. "It says here they're only every twenty minutes."

"A bus is coming for me." She still wasn't blinking.

In downtown Montreal the bus routes go up and down the busy main roads, leaving the side streets for parking. Suddenly, down the hill and past the college library a bus was on its way.

"Is that a number 23? Oh good. A bus came for me. I'll be on time."

I looked at her and then at the approaching bus. I swallowed hard, "Isn't that street one way... in the other direction?"

She shrugged. "It might be, but I needed a bus."

"You needed a bus so a bus just came?"

She nodded and started getting out her ticket.

"How did that happen?"

"It was sent for me," she said lightly.

As the door opened I called out, "Who sent it?"

Her response was lost as the doors closed behind her. Without the music, I couldn't have known that my life would never be the same again.
Chapter 1

I blame it all on Spike. She says if I blame it on anyone I should blame it on my sister. Spike has a fair point. If I hadn't been in such a rush to get away from the mess Stacy left behind when she rode out of town on the back of her boyfriend's Harley, I would never have been in Montreal. I certainly wouldn't have gone three months early for my freshman year, and would have had a normal study partner. But if it wasn't for Spike I would never have met Seth.

I was on my way, slightly late, cutting across campus through the old, brick Arts building to the concrete monstrosity that was the science building. My phone buzzed in my bag and, despite my lateness, I took the call.

"Hey Spike," I smiled down the phone at my longtime best friend. I heard a click and an intake of breath.

Cigarette lit, Spike replied, "What's doing, Chloe? Still studying like a crazy person? You realize this is totally against the code."

"I know, I know. The alternative to being a jock is not being a nerd. There is a third way."

"It sounds like you need reminding."

I defended myself. "There's no one around. What am I supposed to do? Find someone in the street and start walking next to them like we're friends?"

"It worked for Crazy Steve," she laughed.

"Whose name, may I point out, is Crazy, I repeat Crazy, Steve. The guy's on meds for a reason."

I could almost hear Spike nodding as she conceded the point. "True, but you have to admit that he doesn't lack for social interaction."

"Much of which takes place in his own head." I didn't want to admit how close to the truth she was getting. Arriving at a new college just in time to take the summer session hadn't been the best way to meet people in a new city.

Spike gave a little snort of mirth. "Is it really that hard?"

I sighed. "No, it's not. But at least studying gives me something to do."

"That's great, but I didn't mean the school work. I meant the whole Stacy thing. She ran off and your parents went mental. I got the memo, but chica, you can't spend the rest of your life in mourning. Montreal is a party city; I looked it up online. There are some mega cool bars, live music in the clubs, free jazz on the streets, the works. You could put a shout out on Facebook and before you know it, you'd have the friends of your friends to hang with. There is no need to sit around in the library licking your wounds. Either get yourself out and get some friends, or go to therapy."

I sighed. I'm running way too late to be having this conversation. I took the easy way out. "Okay, I got you. Make friends. Will do."

"I'm looking forward to a progress report." Spike's tone was light, but I knew she meant what she said.

I slipped into my regular seat in class. If the professor saw my late arrival, he didn't seem to care. The class passed painlessly enough. About halfway through, I noticed that the guy three rows up was looking at me. I glanced to my left at Tal, my study partner. There was no one else he could be winking at except me or her. Somehow I knew it wasn't her. I tried to look over in his direction without being too obvious. I don't think it worked because he only smiled more.

"Is he a friend of yours?" Tal whispered.

I shook my head. "Don't think so. At least, I don't remember meeting him."

I waited for her to laugh at the slight admission of (admittedly fake) drunken guilt. Her face remained totally impassive.

At the end of class, he made a beeline for the two of us.

"Hi! How are you doing?" he called out.

Before I knew it, Tal had blushed, mumbled goodbye and disappeared into the background, leaving me to fend for myself. I watched her brown ponytail go bobbing off into the distance. Smiling as brightly as possible, I wondered what kind of mess I was getting myself into.

"Was this not one of the most boring classes you've ever taken?" he asked cheerfully. He started walking with me, although I wasn't sure where he was headed.

"No," I shook my head. "Last session I took organic chem with Professor Goodwill."

He groaned. "Ahh, the infamous Professor Goodwill with the ever-present spittle."

"I've always wondered myself if it isn't toothpaste. Maybe he's OCD about brushing his teeth?" I glanced at him, trying to work out where we'd met before.

"But then why is he always wiping his mouth?" my nameless companion countered.

I laughed and shook my head. There were cute wrinkles around his blue eyes as he laughed. With blond hair and a slight tan, I can't say I was sorry to find myself in his company.

"My roommate claims that once Professor Moody lost her shoulder pad halfway down her sleeve and tried, surreptitiously, to shake it out."

He broke out laughing again. "I was in that class," he said triumphantly.

I stopped walking and looked at him. "You weren't! Did it really hit someone in the face?"

"Michael Chan. I understand he kept it as a souvenir."

Now it was my turn to laugh.

When I could breathe again, he stuck out his hand. "Josh Wilks. We haven't actually met."

"I was wondering," I said as we shook, "I'm Chloe Diaz."

"And why, Miss Diaz, do you have nothing better to do with your summer than to take survey science courses? Two sessions worth, no less?"

I paused for a second then shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. It's not a bad city to spend the summer in, and I wanted to knock off a few pre-recs before the semester starts."

"You'll be a freshman?" he asked, as we wandered out to the lush expanse of grassy lawn in front of campus.

"We all have to start somewhere. And it is supposed to be the Ivy League of Canada," I justified, partly to break the silence.

"It's a good school. Don't take that away by mentioning Canada." He threw up his hands in mock horror.

"You're not Canadian?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"Good grief, no." He said with passion. "I'm from Boston. And you are definitely not Canadian, either."

I sensed a question. "Texas, more specifically El Paso."

"El Paso, that's practically Mexico."

"I did say my name was Diaz," I pointed out.

"Why would you swap sunny Texas for soon to be freezing cold Montreal... unless you have a passion for gun control?" His eyes wrinkled again.

"It was the furthest away from Texas I could get without going to England."

Much to my relief, someone called his name from further down the hill before he had a chance to ask why I was in such a rush to get away.

Josh looked apologetic. "I gotta run, but will you come out with a bunch of us tonight? We're going to the legendary Chubby's."

I was just thinking that I'd never heard of the place, when I heard my mouth say, "Sure, what time?" Apparently my mouth was in league with Spike. Not wanting to look like a total lunatic, I realized I'd have to go.

Spike's work schedule meant I had to have the obligatory what-to-wear crisis alone. After some debate, I settled on black pants with a slight sparkle and a crocheted white sweater with a white T-shirt underneath. I put on a moderate amount of eye makeup (because my brown eyes are dark enough), nude lipstick, the handcrafted silver earrings I got last Christmas, and, as always, I piled my wavy black hair up on top of my head.

My stomach performed instant lap band surgery as I pushed open the heavy bar door. I wasn't an expert in bar décor but with dark walls and colored lights, this one was everything TV had led me to expect.

Sitting facing the bar, Josh and his friends were hard to miss. The only other customers were a group of blond tourists huddled over a map of the city.

"Over here," Josh called, despite the fact I'd already seen them. "Everyone," He called out, "This is Chloe Diaz from El Paso, Texas. She may have come to Canada to embrace gun control."

The collective "everyone" turned to smile. Josh rattled off the names of everyone else there, all eight of them, and I instantly forgot them all. They were spread out over three tables, implying that others had still to come. I sat next to Josh, across from a pretty girl with long corn blond hair and a smattering of freckles.

"I'm Bernice, but everyone calls me Bernie," the blond girl smiled. "You might as well just take the names one at a time."

I caught her accent and couldn't place it. "Are you from Australia?"

"No, New Zealand." Bernie answered with a slight smile.

Across the table another girl, whose name I clearly hadn't caught, took a sharp breath in mock horror. "Careful! To be taken for Australian instead of a New Zealander is as bad as a Canadian being thought American." Beneath short spiky hair, her eyes twinkled as she spoke, like I'd just been admitted into an international conspiracy.

"I take it that you're Canadian?" I dared to ask.

The spiky-haired girl cracked a wide smile and put one finger to her lips. "Sssh, you caught me," she said in a flawless American accent. "I'm really from France. I'm trying to infiltrate the Anglos." She winked.

I liked her already. "Your secret is safe with me. Is anyone here actually Canadian?"

"I am," said an Asian guy with hair skirting the edge of one eye. "I'm from Winnipeg." He put a drink down on the table in front of Bernie and sat next to her, about an inch closer than was polite. He must be her boyfriend.

I braced myself for all the usual barrage of 'where do you come from' variety of questions. None came. They didn't seem to mind who I was or why I was there. Being Chloe from Texas was enough. After the obvious cracks about El Paso being practically Mexico, I stayed out of the conversation. I didn't like having to explain how someone with the name Diaz ending up with quite such pale skin.

The group of eight quickly doubled in size. It seemed anyone who was on campus for the summer was welcome to hang out with Josh and his ever-expanding circle of friends. Spike was right this was just what I needed; some easy banter and the chance to finally unwind.

At about ten, I looked at my watch and was surprised that so much time had passed. I was about to make some 'time flies when you're having fun' type joke, when the bar door opened and the most attractive man I'd ever seen in the flesh entered. His jaw could have been chiseled out of marble by Michelangelo. His dark, tousled hair brushed his sun-kissed forehead, skirting the edge of deep green eyes. His skin was tanned to perfection, but not so much that you'd suspect he'd put any effort into acquiring it. Slight stubble washed his cheeks, too long to be just the product of laziness, but not enough to be called a beard. A black short-sleeved shirt was open showing a black T-shirt stretched over a well-defined body. His dark jeans had no belt.

As the place had filled up, our group had moved closer together. The only free chair was next to me. The god of good looks sat down. I tried not to stare.

Josh put one hand on the back of my chair, "Seth, this is Chloe Diaz. She's new around here. Chloe, this is my brother."

Seth turned his emerald eyes towards me and nodded politely. Then something someone said on the other table caught his attention. I wanted to yell, "No, look at me," as he quickly turned away to follow the furious debate. Something inside me sighed. Deep down in the inner recesses of your heart, every girl dreams that one day the unattainable guy will waltz into her life and transform her into the princess. But in my life, with Stacy always having been the princess, I was left to be the ugly sister.

"An iPad is not going to bring clean drinking water to anybody." The guy from Nigeria was quivering with indignation.

The British chick's eyes twinkled with glee. "You can't argue that technology doesn't have any place in improving lives."

"So while AIDS ravages the African continent, they can have 15,000 tracks to keep them company?"

Josh shifted edgily in his seat. I wondered if she was hitting too close to home. I saw Bernie exchange a look with Seth.

"Hey, Bernie, is it true that in New Zealand they have a giant inflatable ball and you can run down the side of a mountain like a hamster in a cage?" Seth's voice was enough to stop all other conversations in their tracks. Everyone looked at Bernie.

"Sure they do, it's the new bungee jumping," she called back, slightly too loudly.

"I thought paragliding was the new bungee jumping?" someone countered.

A wave of relief had everyone chattering excitedly about ever crazier sporting options.

Seth leant over in my direction.

"Are you into extreme sports?" he asked softly. I caught my breath as his tone made a mundane question unbelievably intimate.

"Only vicariously," I answered, and immediately congratulated my mouth for producing an answer worthy of the moment without bothering to bypass my brain.

He cracked a smile. His left cheek had a dimple.

He looked me in the eyes and I nearly died.

Why are you making this happen to me? We both know that I don't date the untouchable guys. I date the normal guys, maybe the friends of the untouchable cool guys. I go to the movies, watch Kristen Stewart do what I can only dream of, and like any other girl I go home happy with the fantasy. But I won't ever go home with Rob Patterson, so don't ruin my dreams by making me hope.

"Are there any other pleasures you enjoy as a voyeur?"

Do you have no mercy?

"Line dancing; although, strictly speaking, it is an extreme sport." My mouth was on a roll.

He smirks. "I haven't much experience with line dancing."

"I'm from Texas," I shrug.

He's not sure if I'm joking. "What do you wear to go line dancing?"

"Steel-toe capped boots, a floor length velvet dress and fake eyelashes." It's my turn to laugh. His face is a picture. "I'm actually serious. It really happened. I did say it was an extreme sport."

He looks at me curiously, "And you made it out alive?"

I nodded. "Ok, I'll tell you the whole story. My best friend back home is an uber goth: long straight black hair down to her bottom, porcelain white skin and enough eyeliner to make a drag queen proud. It drives her mother crazy. Her mother is this super southern-beauty-queen-Barbie-doll type. She decided that Spike and her needed to spend more quality time together so they went line dancing. Her current (and fourth) husband is some sort of line dancing champion. Spike said she'd only go if I went to."

"Spike?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Her real name is Lauralee Crystabell. If she ever finds out I told you, we will both have to die."

"I'll take the secret to the grave. So you went all gothed up? Is that your usual mode of dress?" He looked me up and down.

"No... yes... sometimes." I opened my mouth and said something I'd never admitted to myself before. "I pretty much just do it to fit in with her. Our other best friend, Jared, does too. Although in his case I think it's just an excuse to wear makeup. It's not that I'm not into it at all. I'm not a total wannabe. It's just not really my identity. Although it can be pretty cool sometimes."

I knew it couldn't last more than about thirty seconds. I waited for him to turn away, now that I just admitted I'm a total loser.

He's still staring at me.

I wriggled in my seat and shut my eyes.

When I opened them he was still staring at me.

I could feel my heart beating through my chest and there was too much saliva in my mouth. This has to be a dream. Any minute now I'm going to find myself naked in a room full of people.

But he's still staring at me.

With any luck it could be one of those dreams.

A smile started to spread slowly across his face.

Crap. This is real.

Is he about to kiss me?

Suddenly Bernie called over, "Are you coming for burgers, Seth?"

The moment was broken. He looked at her, smiled a different smile, and raised an eyebrow.

He has perfect eyebrows, does he pluck them?

"Sorry, some of us have to work. You young things will have to go without me." Then he laughed, not even bothering to fake indignation for long. Everyone started to gather their stuff. The party was obviously breaking up.

"He's a bartender in a place a few blocks down," Josh explained. "You want to get something to eat?"

I wasn't hungry but I went anyway.

I gave a full report the next day when Spike was on her cigarette and cell phone break. I couldn't actually see her, but experience told me she was sitting in the driving seat of her silver SUV rather than smoking on the street. I could picture her perched with the door open, looking more like someone's kid than the car's owner. At five foot two, the SUV's wheels were nearly taller than her. She'd only taken the burger flipping job to keep Jared company for the summer before she went to Harvard. Having managed to get him into community college, now she was working on getting him out of the closet.

"At least you found some friends. Would I approve?"

"Probably, it turns out there are more types than just jock or nerd," I said with a smile.

"Do you mean that there's life outside of high school?" She asked with mock terror.

"There might be. I'm at least leaving myself open to the possibility. It's a hypothesis worthy of more detailed research."

I heard the deep intake of breath that signaled the start of her second cigarette. Her break wasn't over yet, so she must be trying to buy some time.

When she was ready, she spoke, "Let me recap. We've got Josh the cute blond guy in your class that might be interested in you, time will tell, but he hasn't yet done anything to capture your attention; Bernie, cool kid from New Zealand, and her Asian-Canadian boyfriend Charlie; Maxine is from France with cool spiky hair; Dwayne from Nigeria's a bit of a know-it–all, but fun to have around because he's always got an opinion. He sounds like our own Martin, aka Slasher."

"Exactly," I interjected. "Wait, Martin's going by Slasher?"

"He's trying. I don't think it's going to stick. Even with sixteen piercings you know that in his soul he wears a pocket protector."

I giggled. I was sitting on my bed leaning against a mound of pillows. My room was big enough to have my bed smack bang in the middle and still have space for a desk behind the door. I liked the bed open from all sides, it felt untethered. I pulled my knees up to my chest as I listened to her recap.

"Then you have an assorted bunch of other international student randoms and Mr. Too-Cool-To-Be-True."

"That's about right." Pleasant images of the gorgeous Seth floated through my mind.

"Are you going to make a play for him?" Spike asked calmly.

I snorted, "Not freaking likely. Why would I do a stupid thing like that? Did you miss the part where he's a pre-med philosophy major, who plays in a band, works in a bar, as well as being the hottest guy in the city?"

"No, I got that the first five times you mentioned it. But he's cool and hot, does there need to be another reason?"

"Aren't you the one who refused to read Twilight because there was no basis for their relationship?"

Spike chuckled. "Please, if you're going to die you should have a better reason for doing it than because the guy is hot."

"Edward and Bella have a love that is true, so don't even go there. But even if his being hot was the only basis for their relationship, you're saying it's a good reason for me to date someone?" I sat up on the bed.

"I'm saying that it's a bad reason to die. It is, however, a very good reason to express an interest in getting to know someone better."

"There are more than enough girls expressing an interest. I don't need to go jumping on that particular bandwagon, thank you." I walked over to my desk and flicked open my laptop. Sitting in front of the computer had a comforting feeling of being productive without actually having to do anything.

"Don't give me that, 'if all of your friends jumped off the Brooklyn bridge, would you, too?' crap. Sometimes all of your friends are going bungee jumping."

We laughed in unison.

"Someone has to date him, why not you?"

"There is a serious flaw in your hypothesis? Word is he's stayed single quite happily for the last year." I flicked through PowerPoint slides for my class.

"It's the summer; everyone wants to date in the summer. It's seasonal."

I stopped what I was doing. There was a funny note in her voice. Everyone wants to date in the summer?

"Spike, who are you dating?"

"Why do you think I'm dating anyone?" Spike could be a big baby when she wanted.

"No, don't bother giving me the runaround. It's seasonal, who are you dating?"

She paused, probably working out if she could get out of it.

"Some kid from Phoenix," she said casually.

"Phoenix? What kid from Phoenix? Who do you know in Arizona?" I groaned inwardly.

There was silence. I wasn't talking until she did. I wondered how much longer her break from work would last.

Reluctantly she spoke, "His name's Fred. He came down to El Paso to work at Doug's. You should see his artwork. It's hella cool. Most people can't get that much texture on body art."

"So it was love at first sight when you got a new tattoo?" I wasn't going to let her try the old "blind them with details" trick on me.

"No," she said quickly, "I'd have told you if I got a new tat."

"But not a new boyfriend." I shot back jumping up from my seat.

"It's not like it's official; we just hung out a few times. You haven't exactly been available recently. I've been pretty hard pressed to get through the walls of misery without so much as a smoke signal."

"Aren't goths supposed to wallow in self-pity?" I countered.

"Come on, Chlo, you're not a goth," she spat back.

I'd just admitted as much to a total stranger, but it stung when she said it. Especially when she said it.

There was a heavy pause. Spike sighed, "Hang on a sec, can we both breathe? Are we really squaring off to fight?"

It was my turn to sigh. "No. I wish you'd have told me there was someone new in the picture. It feels weird not to know what's going on in your life."

"Yeah, well, ditto." The hurt filled her voice.

"Fair enough. I got it, more detail, more disclosure." I sank onto my bed.

"Okay, me too. Now I see why people are always so against long distance relationships." Spike sounded more like her old self.

"Want to tell me more about him?" I asked tentatively.

Her tone softened. I could bet she was smiling. "He grew up in Philly, but his Mom got remarried last year, so he went to live with his Dad in Arizona. He was in college and dropped out. Got a job in Phoenix and started making beautiful pictures."

"How did you meet?"

The smile was still in her voice, "Remember when Ricky Ray and JC had that 'tea' party? Ricky Ray invited Fred as thanks for doing such dope work on his shoulder. Fred and I ended up wasted on the sofa, having one of those late night conversations that seem really deep, but with 20/20 hindsight are just stupid."

"About what?"

"Pottery and its meaning as an art form. Whether Styrofoam deserves more recognition as a medium."

I chuckled. He did sound cool. "One conversation does not a dreamy Spike make."

I almost heard her lick her lips with pleasure. "Yesterday we hung out in the mall just the two of us. They were showing Friday the Thirteenth as a matinee and he asked if I wanted to go. When the movie started, he held my hand. It was really old school."

"Did he kiss you?" I asked, fascinated by the guy who made Spike sound all young-love.

"Yeah, we hooked up last week. But you know it was at the end of the night when most people had already left or passed out, so I wasn't sure that it counted. Now it looks like we're on the way to being official."

"So soon?"

"What's soon? We've hung out every night."

"You didn't say that." I said accusingly.

"What's there to tell? I was just passing on the good bits. He kept finding some lame-assed reason to hang around with me until he asked me out. Obviously, I would normally be forced to break him into small pieces but it happens that I like him so I let him live. If I've decided he's worth the effort, why not make it official? It saves me the trouble of dealing with anyone else who might try to muscle in. But chica, I gotta go flip some burgers." She hung up.

Spike's in love, or at least 'luuurve?' She doesn't usually date. She hooks up with guys when the mood takes her and she had that whole polyamorous thing going with JC last year, which was really just an excuse to hedge their bets at the end of the night. How did anyone get Spike to giggle and consider "going steady?" Should I go home and check it out? What am I thinking? Going home would mean being at home. I'm not ready to face Mom and Dad yet. Mom might bake cookies.
Chapter 2

For a school I'd picked almost at random, in a city I didn't research, I'd really lucked out. Montreal was a beautiful city in the summer, full of tree-lined streets and outdoor cafés. We were meeting a few blocks away from campus in the heart of the area known as the Student Ghetto, because only students would pay the exorbitant rent to live that close to the campus in the middle of downtown Montreal. Bernie waved as I walked over. She was sitting with Dwayne at a small table in the courtyard outside the café.

"Hey, inside with air conditioning, or outside with more atmosphere?" Dwayne asked. "We need a casting vote."

I thought about it. "It's a lot of pressure." Montreal might be a fun place to hang but at times the humidity was stifling.

Dwayne nodded, "The weight of the world rests on your shoulders."

With great seriousness, I declared, "Outside. The way you were talking the other day, it sounds like the snow will force us to spend the whole school year inside, so we'd better get as much oxygen now as possible."

Dwayne shrugged and Bernie smiled.

"Who just won?" I asked.

"She did," Dwayne conceded, "But I can take it. Now I'll guard the table and you go get coffee."

By the time Bernie and I got back to the table, the rest of the gang had arrived. Someone was sitting in what had been my seat. I didn't need to see his face to know it was Seth.

I didn't know he was coming.

My heart skipped a beat.

Oh great. Stupid Spike, why does she have to put ideas into my head? His neck is beautiful though. It's a little bit muscular without being beefy. I bet his hair is soft where it's cropped short at the back. Ahh, shut up, mind.

As a good boyfriend, Charlie had saved Bernie a seat next to him, so I sat next to Maxine. Thankfully, I was not directly opposite from Seth, so I couldn't fall into the trap of unintentional staring.

"The waves were out of this world. I should've gone with him." Seth was saying.

Bernie swallowed quickly, "You saw Bret's pics from Maui? I'm beyond jealous."

"You wouldn't have really left the band?" the guy sitting next to him asked. What's that guy's name? I think he's Josh's cousin or something. He'd been there in the bar before but hadn't said much. He was wearing jeans and what I presumed was a band T-shirt, since it said "The Midway State."

Seth put both hands up. "People, Maui might have been worth it." He paused then shook his head, "No, last night we rocked. It's a good thing that I stayed here this summer. The surf will be there another time."

"The surf will be there, but it won't be riding on the same waves," Charlie nodded with exaggerated wisdom.

Seth smirked, "When you're surfing the riff of a sweet guitar, no waves can compare."

"When's your next gig?" Bernie asked obviously trying to break up their little comedy routine.

This was clearly the right question to ask. Seth bounced in his seat like a little puppy. "Actually we just got booked to do a gig in a couple of weeks in Magog."

Charlie whistled, "Deepest, darkest Quebec. You'd better brush up on your French."

"Why? I'm going to take Maxine with me." Not a bad choice since she was from France, so she was legitimately French.

Maxine arched one perfectly crafted eyebrow, "Nice of you to ask me."

His face a picture of seriousness, Seth turned to Maxine and said, "Hey, Maxine, the band just got booked for a gig in Magog. You want to come and be our translator?"

"I'm planning a headache," she replied haughtily, but struggled to suppress a smile.

"I'll let you ride shotgun."

"I'll pencil you in."

"I just hope it goes better than that gig we played in Ottawa on Canada Day. Is there a rule you can only live in Ottawa if you've had your sense of humor surgically removed?"

Dwayne looked up. "It's the proximity to the Canadian parliament. It causes people to undergo a molecular shift."

"I always thought they put something in the drinking water," Bernie suggested.

Charlie playfully hit her on the arm. "Could you people find another topic besides bashing Canadians?"

"Why, when there are such plentiful resources?" Dwayne shot back.

"You do seem to talk about it an awful lot," I dared to say. I cringed in mock fear of the response.

"We talk about the French too, but Maxine gets really ticked off, so we have to wait for when she's not around." Seth smiled at me.

He smiled at me. I hardly dared to breathe. My heart raced. Should I smile back?

"Have you seen Bret's profile picture today?" Josh asked, I presumed to Seth.

Seth smiled smugly.

"What is it, Ethan?" Charlie asked.

"It's an old man in a suit, at least it must be an old man because he's got a cane but the head is Rob Patterson. The elderly Rob Pat is standing on a surf board surrounded by amazing waves." The band shirt-wearing cousin, whose name seemed to be Ethan, explained for the rest of us as Josh passed over his phone to show Charlie.

"Bawh!" Charlie erupted into laughter. "Nice one."

Bernie snickered, "See, he misses you, Seth. Bret wants you in Maui too."

I looked around at the group, "Did that make sense to anybody else?"

"Bret Lowe is Seth's best friend.... " Maxine began.

"Aww-," interjected Josh and Ethan making puppy eyes at each other.

"Bret's a big time surfer. He came to school here so he could snowboard when he wasn't surfing."

"Why didn't he just go to school in Australia so he could surf all year long?" I couldn't help asking.

Josh grinned, "His parents wanted to keep him close enough to check up on him and make sure he was remembering to go to school."

"Bret likes to post riddles as his Facebook profile picture. It's like a test of coolness for his friends to see if they can get the joke." Bernie explained

"And this one is a message for Seth?" I asked tentatively.

"This is an easy one," Josh explained.

I thought for a minute to see if I could work it out. "Rob Patterson because he looks a bit like Seth, surfing is obviously to say Seth should be in Maui with him, but why the old man?"

Seth was clearly amused. His expression stayed impassive, but his eyes twinkled. He looked meaningfully over at Bernie and Charlie.

Bernie sighed, "Because Seth is the originator of the Old-Men-Are-Cooler theory."

I raised my eyebrows.

Charlie joined in, "Old men are cooler because they get to wear a suit and tie and look sharp."

"While old ladies just wear baggy stockings and smell like pee," Bernie finished off.

"Which is so true." Seth held one hand in the air for emphasis. "Old ladies get faded clothes and those knitted cardigans, but old men get handkerchiefs in their pockets and canes with the metal tops. Old men are just cooler."

Bernie looked directly at me. "Just nod and smile and go along with it. That's what the rest of us do."

"You don't actually look that much like Rob Pat," Ethan said.

I agreed silently. Seth is better looking.

Before she could say anything, Josh asked, "What's with his hair? He always has a lot of hair."

"I thought that was just to be the vampire." Charlie did not sound very certain.

"Doesn't he have less hair now?" Josh wondered.

"He's growing his own toupee," I said half under my breath.

Seth turned and looked over. He smirked and gave me a nod of appreciation.

I saw him say to himself, "Growing his own toupee." He looked at me again and the smirk became a smile.

He'd better look away soon because I think I might drown in his eyes. Why is he still looking at me? It must be because I'm new. He just doesn't know what to make of me yet. The others seem to have known each other for years. They've all got their well-worn part in the conversation. New is always interesting.

I gave up following the conversation and concentrated on trying not to drool.

On Sunday, we met outside the wrought iron gates that marked the entrance to campus on Sherbrooke. I don't know how Josh kept track of who was expected to arrive, because there seemed to be an endless parade of new faces. I stuck, I hope not too obviously, to the core group of people whose names I remembered. When Josh decided that "everyone" was there, we started walking.

"Maxine," I whispered as I fell into step alongside her. "Where are we going?"

"The Tam Tams."

"What are the tam Tams? I don't mean what's a tam tam. It's a drum but where are we going?"

"You are about to be initiated into a Montreal rite of passage. The Tam Tams is the only proper activity for a Sunday afternoon," she stage-whispered back.

My heart leaped as Seth turned around and waited for us to fall into step. He'd obviously overheard our conversation. When I was level with him, he explained, "Legend has it that one summer afternoon a few guys went up by the mountain with a drum. They were just hanging out, jamming a little. The next Sunday another couple of guys showed up with their drums and they all jammed together. By the end of the summer, it was that." Seth waved his hand up ahead.

We'd reached the edge of the park that surrounds the mountain. In the distance I could see some sort of concrete monument surrounded by a sea of people. Even at that distance and with the roar of traffic on the overpass next to us, I could hear the rumble of drums.

"Now they come every year. The original drummers are long forgotten, but their memory lives on. When the stars align and the weather is warm, the drummers return without any official signal," Seth was clearly enjoying his role as the Oracle of Truth.

"So people just play drums?"

"And dance, hang out, smoke a little." Maxine smirked. "Just about anything goes."

People sat sprawled over the rich grass. The paved area around the monument heaved with bodies: dancers, drummers, shoppers, voyeurs and the occasional bemused passerby. A circle of colored blankets turned out to be a series of small stalls selling everything from ethnic carvings to homemade bread.

It seemed that half the population of Montreal had come to enjoy the sunshine. The whole place sizzled. At first I wondered how hundreds of drummers managed to beat together in such perfect rhythm. Then I noticed that my heart had started to pick up the beat. It was a pulsating sea of humanity and nearly all of them seemed to know Seth. Quickly he was separated from the rest of us.

We picked a spot on the grass across from the monument. There was much less conversation. Even Dwayne seemed content to just sit back and experience the scene. I sat next to Bernie on my right and there was a bit of a gap between me and Ethan on my left. That's the only way I could explain it. Out of nowhere, he was suddenly sitting next to me.

"How did you come to be in Montreal?" Seth asked in my left ear and his breath tickled down my neck. I tried to neither faint with delight nor jump with surprise.

I turned my head just enough to make eye contact. "I ran away from home," I said with a slight smile.

He met my smile and raised me a broad grin. "Are the cops after you?"

"I did tell my parents I was coming."

His eyes held mine as he asked, "What were you running away from?"

Before I could answer, an earnest Indian girl wearing brown slacks that skimmed the edge of her ankle and an creased checked shirt, glanced nervously at the rest of us but stopped to talk to Seth. He smiled warmly and said something I couldn't hear. She nodded and blushed with obvious pleasure. I couldn't hear what Bernie was saying to Maxine so instead I concentrated on controlling my breathing.

Seth turned back to me, "You were about to tell me why you ran away."

I turned to look at him sharply, "Are you really interested?" I instantly regretted my anger.

His face stayed calm, "Only if you want me to be."

I looked at him, searching for some insincerity. His face was open and friendly.

I sighed, "It's a slightly long story."

"I can handle it."

"My sister Stacy ran away from home, except for real. No one knows where she is."

He looked concerned, "Is she in trouble?"

"It depends on how you define trouble. My parents banned her from seeing her boyfriend. She played along, but when she went away to college, he went, too. When Dad found out he went mental, then she dropped out of college and that was the last we heard of her."

"So could be she's dead in a ditch somewhere but more likely she's just shacked up with lover boy?"

I nodded. I opened my mouth to add more, but paused when I saw a tall Rastafarian with grey tinged beard wave at Seth. Seth waved back, but pointedly stayed looking at me.

"What was so wrong with the guy?"

"Rob's from the wrong side of town. He didn't finish high school, and he has numerous tattoos. Although he did hold down a steady job, it was as a mechanic in a bike shop. He rides a large motorcycle that probably cost more than my Dad's car."

Seth smirked, "I presume your sister's not the biker type."

"Hell, no. Stacy's the head cheerleader, valedictorian, straight A's, early-acceptance-to-Dartmouth type."

"How did they meet?" Seth asked.

"My mom has a florist shop in a neighborhood strip mall that's becoming more upmarket. The bike shop on the end had a ten year lease that they refused to break. So while the rest of the strip mall got yuppyfied, Ted's Hogs stayed on."

Seth nodded to show he was following.

"Mom needed extra help on the weekend, and Stacy wanted to earn some extra money for college. Although, I bet now they wish they'd hired some illegal immigrant like everyone else, and just given Stacy the cash.

"Still, it would have been fine if it hadn't been for Grandma Mary's broken hip. Mom was so busy with doctors, nursing homes, homecare assistants and rehab, that it really helped to have someone else take over in the afternoons. Stacy was accomplished enough to watch the shop, study and have time to manicure her nails. It seems she had a little too much time on her hands, even with a French manicure."

Seth was smiling, "So somehow Rob starts talking to the lovely Stacy and the rest was history?"

"Yep. In the end it only took one look for the game to be up. One afternoon Mom popped into the store to see Stacy. As they were busy finishing the McKenzie funeral wreath, in walked Rob. Stacy looked up and smiled. Mom took one look at the expression on her face and freaked. This was definitely their big mistake. Stacy was perfect, but she was still a teenager. Banning her from seeing her unsuitable boyfriend was the same as buying them tickets to the Love Shack in Vegas."

"That's when she ran away?" he asked, simultaneously nodding a greeting across the circle to two very effeminate guys with sweat dripping off of their bare chests.

"No. She pretended to go along with it. She must have still been seeing him the whole time, though, because off she went to college and everything seemed normal. Until my Aunt Helen called from Detroit to ask if Mom seen Stacy's Facebook page. There she was, and there was Rob. Mom tried frantically to call Stacy. Dad threatened to drive to Connecticut to get her back. That's when she ran away."

I paused; he seemed to be thinking.

"What's it to you? Why does her taking off mean you have to?"

I stared blankly ahead, "When she took off, it was like the night of the living dead in our house. Our dog, Buddy, spent most of his time curled up under my bed. I spent most of my time at Spike's. At a certain point, I just had to go home. That's when Mom started baking cookies. Dad would ask me about my assignments and then casually enquire what grade I got. Eyebrows got raised when I slept at Spike's on the weekend. I went from being the second kid to being the only kid. I hadn't really minded playing second fiddle to Stacy all those years.

"Suddenly I'm the champion of all their hopes and dreams, and they're watching me like a hawk to make sure I don't turn out like her. But I already had a life and friends, and soon I'm sneaking around to keep doing same things I was doing before. After a while I just couldn't take it anymore."

I suddenly remembered I was talking to someone else. Maybe Spike's right. It might be time for therapy if I'm spilling my guts to some random stranger.

It dawned on me that acting as my unofficial therapist was the most attractive man I'd ever met. I sighed inwardly. Spike can say what she likes but I am definitely not going to end up with Mr. Perfect eyebrows, because every time I speak to him I prove how totally lame I really am.

I glanced over at him. His eyes hadn't left my face. I couldn't read his expression, but it was one of neither the amusement nor pity I had expected to see. He looked like he was about to say something. I turned my head and waited. His eyes flickered away from mine for a second.

"I guess Texas' loss is Montreal's gain." He said quietly.

Someone called his name from across the circle. Five guys in loose fitting pants, most with their hair in short ponytails were motioning to Seth to join them. A grin spread across his face.

He looked back at me. "Excuse me." I nodded. It wasn't like I had any hold on him. I'd probably had more than my allotted share of Seth time.

Does Seth know everyone in this whole city? Or does everyone just know Seth? I hope for his sake that he's very good with names. Look at all of these people, he talks to each one like they're his best friend. It really works, ten seconds ago I was about to believe he was interested in my pathetic little saga. He must make everyone feel that way.

"Are you enjoying?" Bernie asked to my right.

I nodded. "I was just thinking that Seth should run for office."

She smiled, "Don't worry he probably will. Dwayne is already on board as his campaign manager."

"He knows all of these people from the bar?"

"Some. He was also editor of the college newspaper last year. And he gets around."

He's pre-med, a philosophy major, the editor of a college newspaper and he plays in a band. This guy can't be for real.

Bernie saw the look on my face. "He doesn't sleep much." She explained.

"What are they doing now?" Four made a loose circle, while the one I thought of as the leader stood in the middle.

"Capoeira"

I'd never heard of it. I shrugged.

"It's a form of Brazilian martial arts. Watch, it's cool."

Laughing, Seth stood and entered the circle. The crew around the edge began a lyrical chant. Quickly a crowd gathered, clapping their hands in time to the chant. The leader moved from side to side in time with the chant. Seth, still laughing, mimicked his movements. They danced around each other, and then the dance became more complicated. Still in time with the chant, they kicked and lunged. Seth kicked out and the leader whirled under his raised leg. The leader pivoted on one hand, his legs deftly avoiding Seth's next move. It was a mix between very slow break-dancing and tae kwon do.

After about five minutes, Seth bowed elaborately to his opponent and moved backward out of the circle. Immediately his place was taken by one of the original men. By now there must have been fifty people watching. In comparison to this pair, Seth was just a beginner: They span together like an oversized executive toy, flying over and under each other as though they were tied together.

He's not that good at it. All those people watched him do something he's not very good at, and he didn't care. Stacy's every move seemed crafted, perfectly presented for the adoring crowds. Seth's nothing like Stacy. I saw him crouch down to talk to some guy in a wheelchair but he was just talking to a guy. He's not proud of himself for talking to someone in a wheelchair or wondering if anyone's noticed. I'm not sure he's even human.

I sat back to enjoy the show and the comfortable feeling of finally belonging in the city I'd randomly made my home.

On line for coffee and a sandwich on Wednesday, I turned to Maxine behind me, "Why are there no Starbucks around here? Why do we keep going to these Second Cup places? And why is there one on every block?"

It dawned on me that Maxine was wearing a black singlet, but her chest was just not that muscular. I let my eyes rise. Seth smiled at me. "Second Cup is the Starbucks of Canada."

My face must have given away my continued confusion because he said, "It's the Canadians. Don't ask too many questions."

"Where's Max?" I asked and then kicked myself for not having a smoother conversation starter.

"She went to the ladies' room. I'm holding her place in the line."

I nodded like I didn't care, and tried to ignore the tingles his proximity was inducing down my spine.

Seth cocked his head to one side. "If you got here as soon as summer session started, what were you doing before Josh herded you into the summer school posse?" It was a slightly random question, but every time I saw him he seemed to find something to talk to me about. How nice is this guy to go out of his way to make the new girl feel welcome?

There wasn't really any way to answer the question honestly and still sound remotely interesting. I opted for honesty. "I met this chick Tal. She didn't have a study partner, so we paired up."

"She was also new?" The line inched forward slightly. Seth stepped forward more than I did, which moved him even closer into my personal space. I was acutely aware of my lips.

"No, she's from here. But she's religious and a bit weird. I don't know whether she didn't know anyone in the class, or if it was the opposite and everyone else already knew to avoid her." I laughed uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry that sounds really awkward." His tone was surprisingly sincere. Why does he care? Is he just that friendly?

I felt a little guilty. I'd grown to quite like Tal. "Actually I've been wondering if she has Asperger's, or something, because she's quite nice. She's just a bit different."

Seth caught my eyes and held my gaze, "There's nothing wrong with being a bit different." He smiled and a flood of warmth rushed my body. Before I could respond, the man in front of me moved away and I had to step forward to order.
Chapter 3

The air conditioning in the lecture hall created that surreal shopping mall experience where my brain knew that outside it was broiling, but I still wondered if I should have brought a jacket. It was so humid in Montreal I'd practically forgotten I owned any outer wear. My eyelids were drooping. I'd rather relive the night before than pay attention to the lecture. We'd sat at a street side café until nearly midnight. Seth had done his usual number; show up for an hour before heading to work. I tried not to watch him but it was hard when again the only free seat had been next to me.

Ethan and Josh had been arguing over whether Josh owed Ethan sixteen camels and four donkeys as payment for a bet, or the other way around. Suddenly there was Seth next to me, asking me about live music in Texas. I hope my answers were coherent because as soon as his eyes caught mine I had trouble breathing. I can't believe that after two weeks he's still making a point of talking to me so I don't feel left out as the new one. I let my mind wander to what had become my default daydream: Seth asking me out.

Seth was just about to make his move, only the 67th time that morning, when something the Professor said managed to penetrate my dream state.

"The project will be in groups of three. It will account for 40 percent of your final grade."

Groups? There's a group project in this class? How did I not notice when I was signing up?

"We can be a group," Josh whispered.

On the other side of me Tal winced. She was wearing the long denim skirt and t-shirt combo that seemed to be her daily uniform. I don't think she was overjoyed when he started sitting with us last week. He does seem to be my friend, or at least I keep hanging out with him and the gang. It's normal he'd sit with us.

I raised my eyebrows and hoped my expression conveyed the possibility without affirming anything. My train of thought completely broken, I was forced to listen to the remainder of the lecture.

When Josh ran up to get us the assignment sheets, I was able to turn to Tal. "Is this okay? Would you rather be in a different group? I don't want you to feel coerced."

Tal sighed and shook her head. "I don't really – well, no, it's okay. It's only for a few weeks. I can work with him."

I tried to reassure her, "I know what it might look like, and no one wants to be the third wheel but it's not like that. We're not dating or anything, although he might have other ideas. I promise I won't get you stuck in an awkward situation."

Tal smiled, "That's sweet of you. But isn't exactly what I was worried about. I don't usually hang around with guys that much. I mean, I do with my brothers and my cousins, but not much with other guys."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say. "You're very religious?"

"Quite." She looked uncomfortable.

Josh was back with the papers before I could say anything else.

"We have to track the development of one scientific area. We have to write a report and then give a presentation to the class."

I looked at the assignment with a sinking heart. A group project with the quasi-nun who can't talk to boys, and the boy who's trying to get into my pants but is the brother of the latest object of my fantasy life. Not a winning combination. Suddenly this isn't such an easy A. Perhaps I should have taken the Art of Listening.

"We'll meet in the library in half an hour. Today we can pick a topic and divide up the work. We can each research our section of the timeline, then we'll just put it all together later." It was clear from Tal's tone of voice that this was a command not a request.

Josh nodded. "We'll meet in the library."

Tal left quickly. I would have preferred to go with her but she just disappeared.

"Are you hungry?" Josh asked. I wasn't really up for a whole lunch date, but I was hungry.

Accessing the cafeteria meant crossing the campus. At the top of campus an imposing grey stone mansion crowned the hill. The rich green lawn flowed from the steps of the mansion all the way down to the bustling city street. Trees lined the driveway in the center of the lawn and the perimeter was surrounded by buildings. It was as though someone had planned a university, but then waited for buildings to sprout like mushrooms. The gargoyled museum stood next to the 60's concrete and glass of the Arts faculty.

The glass-fronted student center was complete with all necessary mod cons including a cafeteria with enough tables that even at lunchtime you could linger without anyone else ever needing your spot. Josh eyed my giant sandwich.

"You'll be able to eat all of that? You have a big appetite for a girl."

I stared at him incredulously, "Josh, stop all that 'for a girl' stuff, or I'll be forced to kick your butt. This sandwich has three food groups packed between two slices of bread, so it's efficient as well as tasty."

Josh rolled his eyes, "Ok, no more girl cracks, but please don't lecture me about nutrition. My mother got there before you. I've had a lifetime worth of food pyramid pep talks."

"Your mother's into health?"

"She's a licensed nutritionist and naturopath. If it wasn't for my Dad putting his foot down, she'd serve only raw food."

"I can't see you having a hippy for a mother." I really meant that I couldn't see Seth having a hippy for a mother.

Josh threw up his hands in disgust. "She's not even a hippy. She's the twinset and pearls with well-tailored slacks type. You'd expect her to be riding show jumpers, not sprouting her own barley. It was her very well-mannered version of a midlife crisis. Dad started dyeing his hair, and she got all macrobiotic. Thankfully they each let the other do their own thing so they're still happily married. Mom gave him some natural henna dye to use."

"You seem to have survived unscathed."

Josh waved his hotdog for emphasis, "It all started when Seth left for college. It's really Susie who's had the worst of it. She's still got one more year of high school before she can get out. She always complains that we left her to suffer. But what were we going to do, go to school in Boston just so we could live at home and keep her company?"

"It's always hard for the ones left behind," I said as I finished the last of my sandwich.

It was only as we walked into the library that I realized we hadn't made up an exact place to meet.

"She's on the fourth floor," Josh said as I went to press the fifth–floor button in the elevator.

Did she say that? Maybe I missed something.

"We should do X-rays, as in radiography. The science of internal imaging," Tal said as we walked over.

I'd been expecting one of those sessions where everyone pulls a million books off the shelf and randomly shouts out ideas until finally we settle on one because it's time to go home. But I couldn't think of any reason not to do X-rays.

"No one else will do it," said Tal. "It's better not to cover the same topic as another group."

I was just about to ask how she knew that no one else would do it, when Josh asked, "How will we divide up the material?"

"Chloe will do the early development and an overview of how radiography works. I will do the middle section on how it is commonly used in medical practice. You will do MRI's and developing technologies."

I found myself nodding my assent along with Josh.

"Good," Tal said standing up. "I'm going to check some books out and start researching at home. We'll meet again on Wednesday to coordinate."

As she walked out, I just sat there waiting for Josh to say something. He didn't.

"Was that a little weird?" I ventured. "Who made her the leader? Also, when did she become so assertive? The whole summer she's hardly said boo to a goose."

Josh shrugged, "She's a Footman, no?"

"A what?"

"She's one of the People, observant I mean."

"I guess so. I think that's what she said."

Josh was nonplussed. "That's what they're like."

I let it go. "Do you actually want to look at any of these books?"

He was incredulous, "No, I was going to Google it first."

"I'm not sure that the prof is looking for quite such detailed information. How long does the whole thing have to be?"

"Seven-minute presentation and a twenty-page group report."

We started walking out. "So how are you planning on spending this slightly sweaty afternoon, Ms. Diaz?"

Shoot. I walked into that slightly veiled come on. Can I just forget that he has a hot brother and date this one? He seems pleasant enough, although I'm not sure we have much in common.

I gave the most non-committal answer possible, "I was just going to see what happens. If it's totally unavoidable, I might study."

An afternoon with Josh might not be that bad. No one's actually going to make me date him. Perhaps some of the others will show up.

We sat at one of the picnic tables overlooking the lawn. There was just enough shade for it to be pleasant.

I felt pressure to make conversation, "Why did you stay for summer school?" Then I kicked myself, I just asked him the one question I don't want to have to answer myself.

Josh shrugged, "When Seth came here for school my parents bought an apartment. No one told me I had to come here, but there was a certain amount of unspoken parental pressure. All joking aside, the winter is brutal. The summer is the best time of year to be here. It's like the whole city is partying. As long as I'm taking classes my parents will fund a three-month-long party."

"Is that why the others stay?"

"Everyone has their reasons. If you have to pay a year's rent why not? I think a lot of the internationals stay. Some people have come so far to get here, it's too hard to go home. What are you going to do with all your stuff?"

I waited for him to ask me why I was there for the summer. He didn't. He moved on to more of the slightly stilted conversation people make before they're actually friends.

It's much easier when the whole group is around. I can just get swept up in their conversation without having to give too much.

"Were you ever in Canada before?"

I shook my head. "I had heard of it. I hear there are mountains and forests and moose."

"You do have to watch out for the moose. The mountains are pretty cool. There's a bunch of good hiking trails not that far out of the city. Sometimes we rent a car and drive up on the weekend. You could come, if you want to."

"Sounds fun." It actually would be, although I can't say I've actually been hiking before.

"Ethan's parents have a vacation place up there. It's cooler up there; lots of people like to get out of the city. My grandparents have the same sort of thing in upstate New York. They live in Manhattan."

A voice interrupted from behind me, "Yeah, except they spend the summer in the country and the winter in Florida. So when do they actually live in the city? Basically, only for Thanksgiving."

Josh laughed, and Seth sat down at the bench beside me. The brothers exchanged a look. There was a pause which was good, because I needed time to recover. Seth had just sat down next to me. Josh broke his stare away first.

"I can't believe they actually give you people credit for these summer courses. How much are you actually learning?" Seth said, shaking his finger at us.

"The stuff about Galileo was fascinating." I defended us. Josh said nothing.

Seth sat astride the bench facing me and Josh. I tried to ignore his pelvis. What am I, a dog in heat? He's wearing black jeans. Either he has lots of identical pairs, or he just doesn't wash them, and a black wife-beater. I'm not sure if it counts as a wife-beater if it's black. I can see his biceps. He must work out. Also he must gel his hair. No one actually gets out of bed looking that perfectly messy. I wonder if his face is rough when you kiss him. Note to self; you're probably about to date his brother, so don't imagine those soft lips kissing you.

"Don't you have anything better to do than come and question our study habits?" Josh asked.

Seth paused, and then smiled sheepishly. "I might have experienced a slight case of getting locked out of the apartment."

"Why didn't you just call me? What's with all the espionage tactics?"

"I might have left my phone and wallet in the house with the key."

Josh laughed, "What do you have with you?"

Seth reached into his pocket, "About fifteen Marlboro Lights and a Zippo."

"How many did you smoke before you came to find me?" he asked suspiciously.

Seth sighed, "That's the whole thing. I was out of smokes so I ran down to get more. When I got there I discovered my minor leaving-the-apartment-with-nothing-but-clothes error."

"So how'd you get the smokes?"

"Mrs. Wan took pity on me."

"She gave you a zippo too?" I didn't like to interrupt but I was too curious.

Josh shook his head, "That he always has on him. Not the sense to stop smoking, just the ability to always have a light."

I turned back to Seth. "I thought you were pre-med." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I cringed. Please don't remember that you didn't tell me that.

He looked apologetic, "I am. It just goes to show that education and good sense do not necessarily go hand in hand."

I smiled at him. He smiled back. I felt all the blood drain out of my body and warm pink light take its place. Everything faded into the background. There was just me and him.

"Do you want to get back into the apartment or what?" Josh disentangled his legs from the bench.

"Might as well." Seth managed to get from sitting to standing without any of that awkward bending and sliding that sitting at a picnic table usually entailed.

"Are you coming?" Josh asked.

Am I? Do I want to go home with Josh? It seems a bit intimate, hanging out in his house just the two of us. Do I want to see inside Seth's house?

"Sure. I'll tag along."

The apartment was light and airy. A big bay window looked out to the leafy street. With bright white walls, off-white drapes, two cream leather couches and a huge flat screen TV, it looked more like a magazine spread than a student apartment. I think my mouth was actually open, because Seth saw me staring and said, slightly embarrassed, "Yeah, our Mom decorated. She doesn't trust us."

"We think it's her way of stopping us from throwing any parties. If everything is white, then it will be really obvious if it gets trashed," Josh explained.

I sunk into the immaculate sofa. "Does it work?"

The brothers laughed conspiratorially. I looked from one to the other while waiting for someone to explain.

Seth shook his head. "This is the fourth coat of paint on the walls since we moved in. We got these heavy dust covers for the couches and we're really good friends with the lady at the dry cleaners."

"Yeah, Mrs. Lapoint likes us even better than Mrs. Wan downstairs." Josh chimed in.

"What about that?" I asked pointing to a glass coffee table.

"We have coasters," Josh showed me proudly, "and we move it out if lots of people come over."

The couches were pushed together to form an L shape. I sank into the larger of the two, opposite the flat screen TV. Josh walked to a room in the back. Seth sat on the other couch, flicking through the messages on his phone. I waited for something to happen.

"How long were you without it?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"Your phone. How long were you locked out?"

He looked up, "A couple of hours. I sat on a bench across the street for a while, then I remembered you had class, so I walked over to campus. It was pretty cool just watching the people go by. Sometimes I do it on purpose; leave without a phone. I don't want it to own me."

I smiled. He went back to his messages.

Josh came back with five cans of Coke, a bowl of chips, two apples, a banana and some Oreos balanced on a tray.

I laughed, "You just watched me eat lunch."

He nodded sheepishly, "I know, but his highness over here only drinks full fat Coke, but some people prefer diet. I wanted a snack so I'd better bring something for you, too, but I don't know what you like so I figured I'd cover all my bases."

I just looked at him.

"If you'd met our mother you'd understand. Things rub off on you."

"Like over-catering?"

"Like being sensitive to the needs of a guest," Seth called without looking up. He smiled to himself, "We've got caffeine-free Coke if you want."

Josh put the tray down on and looked about to go back to the kitchen.

I said quickly, "I'm good. Diet Coke is fine. Maybe I'll have an apple."

Josh sat on the other end of the sofa from me. It occurred to me that with Josh on one side and Seth on the other I was now literally wedged between them. But the couch was so comfy, it was hard to care. I yawned.

"Late night?" Josh asked.

"It wasn't meant to be. I ended up talking to my friend, Spike, until after one. You know when you're too tired to do anything as productive as hang up and go to bed? Now I'm paying for it. I could hardly keep my eyes open this morning."

"Don't you get the feeling that our prof would rather be somewhere else?"

"How do they pick who teaches these summer classes? Do they get paid extra, or did ours just draw the short straw?"

"He got divorced." Josh and I both turned to look at Seth.

"Really?" we asked in unison.

"So I heard," Seth said with conviction. Josh raised his eyebrows.

"Ok, I totally eavesdropped on a conversation my advisor was having when I was waiting to go over my thesis. I think she was talking to Professor Donnerly from Ancient History who is, or was, married to your prof."

Josh gave his brother a look. "Do you just spend your whole life collecting weird information?"

Seth shrugged. "I can't help it if weird things just fall in my lap."

"Like what?" I asked.

"He knew first when Professor Steve Jones was about to become Professor Stephanie Jones. And when there were alien sightings over the St. Laurent, he knew the guy it happened to."

"What am I supposed to do? I'm a magnet for randomness. I have a theory, though: Jean Paul Satre said that hell is other people. It must be that it also goes the other way. Heaven is other people. All you have to do is plug yourself into the right vibes and then surf the energy all the way to paradise."

"So you're surfing the weird energy right now?" Josh was not impressed.

"He might have a point," I ventured. "They do say that what you give out is what you get back."

"Exactly, Seth gives out weirdness," Josh smirked.

"Hey, that's not what I meant. There are all sorts of things out there in the world that we don't know about. Some people are just more tapped into them than others."

It was Seth's turn to smirk, "See, bro, I'm on a higher spiritual plain."

Josh snorted. There was tension in the room that must have a long history. I tried to escape the quagmire.

"Jean Paul Sartre said that? It was someone real? I thought it was just one of those clichés."

"And it was Nietzsche who said that God is dead. People throw around these sayings but there's real philosophy behind them."

"Like what?" I was genuinely interested.

"Sartre was an existentialist. He thought existence predisposed essence."

I wanted to answer something cool but I had no idea what he just said.

"He said that life had no purpose other than our choices. Seeing the pointlessness of life would bring a person to despair. But reaching that place means what you are experiencing is real." He said patiently. He waited to see if I was following.

"Sartre was a goth?"

"Better a goth than an emo," Josh quipped.

Seth laughed and slid down the couch towards me. "It's actually quite similar, apart from the whole black clothing and angry music stuff. Sartre just takes it further. The nothingness of human condition is not a reason for inaction or self-pity."

"The point of life is that there is no point?" I suggested.

"Even more than that, because we have total freedom to choose our actions, we therefore have total responsibility. The place of despair comes from seeing that the true human condition is not to be glorified. But, once we accept those feelings, we can live with dignity in our freedom." His eyes shone and for the first time I saw only the man that lived inside the body. I felt the smile on my lips, happy, fresh and filled with life. I saw it echoed on his face.

The phone rang somewhere in the house. Josh went to answer it. I realized I was still smiling at Seth. I felt silly, but he was still smiling at me. I managed to get my face under control.

He lent forward, "I've got a confession to make. I've been cyber-stalking you."

I waited for him to explain. It felt like the whole world paused with me. This moment was crucial.

"That's a bit of an exaggeration. I messaged this guy I worked with last summer, Ricky Ray."

"The one with the big skeleton tattoo? What did you ask him?"

"If he knew you," Seth looked mischievous.

I nodded impatiently. "What did he say?"

Which of my past misdeeds, or totally lack of interesting deeds had been reported?

"He said, and I quote, 'The hot one?' " I nearly died.

He's got the wrong girl. I don't remember anyone else called Chloe around but there must have been.

Seth hadn't finished his story, "So I wrote back 'Spike's friend' and he replied 'yeah, the hot one.'"

Ricky Ray thinks I'm hot? Does that mean Seth doesn't? But he was asking people about me so does that mean he likes me?

"What else did he tell you?" I was curious despite my confusion.

Seth shook his head, "Not much. I just wanted to see how you reacted to the story."

"Because you have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon than play random mind games?" It came out a little more annoyed than I actually was.

He looked me in the eyes and again there was only him and only me. "I wanted to see if you thought you were hot. You see, I'm planning on dating you. I don't date a lot. I only want to be with someone who's honest. And I think you might be."

When the coolest, most attractive guy on the planet declares his romantic interest in you, it would be wise to have a better response planned.

"Huh?"

My brain was totally frozen. We were still sitting on different sofas. He hadn't even touched me. I looked around wildly.

"You want to date me? Is this how you usually go about arranging these things? Were you planning on consulting me?"

He looked a little sad, "I was planning on being a little more suave. I thought I'd ask you out for drinks, maybe take a walk on the mountain, then we'd get to know each other better and it would be a natural progression to actual dating."

"That is the more traditional way of doing things. What made you pick the sledgehammer-esque approach?" My brain had still not recovered. It was stuck at "date me." Thankfully my mouth had risen to the challenge.

"Sibling rivalry," he said, as he leant his head towards mine, staring at my lips.

Just as I was about to drown uncaring in waves of pink yellow pleasure, Josh came back in. The kiss, still unkissed, hung in the air. Seth moved away enough that he wouldn't fall in my lap while Josh stood there silently. Two awful seconds passed.

"The gang's meeting up on the mountain to play Frisbee. They want to know if you, we, want to come." His voice was remarkably calm. I didn't turn around to look at him.

"Are you going?" Seth asked.

Josh paused. I felt the weight of his stare. "Yes," he said emphatically.

Seth gave him a look I couldn't read. "We'll catch up with you."

Josh left. The door slammed behind him. It was just the two of us.

Is it too unladylike to rip his clothes off?

A smile began to creep across his perfect face. Embarrassment quelled the fires of my passion.

It's just me and a boy I hardly know, who I've been thinking about non-stop since I met him, who made a slightly bizarre declaration of intention. Do I just kiss him? Is he going to kiss me?

"Can I come and sit next to you?" he said quietly.

I was sitting on the end of a three-seater sofa, but I moved over slightly as if to make room for him. He slipped his arm around me and I slid in until I could hear his heart beating. We just sat there. It felt like home.

I started to cry.

He moved away just enough so he could take my face in his hands.

"Why?" He asked softly. Putting his lips to my cheek, he started to kiss away my tears. One dribbled to the edge of my lips and soon our lips touched. I felt him pull me closer. I willed my chest to open up so my heart could get closer to his.

I don't know how long it was. I don't know when I stopped crying. I could have stayed there forever. Perhaps I did. Perhaps somewhere we are forever together in that first kiss of pure intentions.

Finally I realized I was touching his face, tracing the arch of his lips. His hands were in my hair. He pulled one to my lips for me to kiss.

"I believe we were getting to know each other," he said with a smile.

"Is that what you call it? I think by now we might be officially acquainted." I am torn between not breaking eye contact and melting into his lips again.

There was a spark in his emerald eyes, "We're just getting started."

I want to die now so I can pin down this moment like an exotic butterfly. My beating heart has expanded to encompass my whole chest. If he touches me again my brain might actually detach from my cerebral cortex.

"Do you want to tell me why you were crying?" His voice was hardly more than a whisper.

"Nothing this perfect has ever happened to me, and I don't even know you. What if I wake up tomorrow and it's not this perfect? What if this is the best moment of my life and I'm having it when I'm eighteen? How did I become the sort of person these things happen to? What if it's all just a horrible joke and you really owe Josh fifteen camels and you needed to settle the score?" I looked at him desperately as I could feel the tears advancing on my eyeballs.

He stroked my face, his fingers lingering on my lips.

"No joke, no camels, although I might owe him an explanation. It could be that tomorrow it won't be this perfect. Life is made up of moments but something is always in between. I was planning on being here tomorrow; I'd like it if you were too. I don't know what your future holds, but I hope it might be me."

"No camels? Not even a little one?" My voice is still a little petulant.

He shook his head, "Not even a little one."

I lay myself against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I hope you don't mind, but I was thinking about what you were saying the other day."

I waited to see what he'd say. He took my silence as acquiescence.

"There's more to this story. She rode off with Rob, she gave up being the fantasy princess to live a different dream, now she's somewhere in Florida, your parents are devastated, you had to escape, but what else?" His brow wrinkled with concentration.

I stayed snuggled in his chest and avoided his gaze.

"What about Spike?" he asked suddenly. "You told me that you went along with the whole goth thing for her. Is it the same issue? Is Spike, Stacy?"

I pulled away. "Is Spike, Stacy? They're nothing alike. Are you crazy?"

"No, but maybe we shouldn't go there right now. You could think about it, though." He spoke carefully.

I snuggled back in. "What are your secrets? Tell me about Emily."

Seth chuckled, "Who told you about Emily? Don't bother telling me, I know people talk. Emily was a beautiful girl, we made a lovely couple." His voice was cold.

"But you broke up?"

"Emily was living in her own fantasy of her wonderful life with her gorgeous boyfriend, and after a while I just couldn't do it anymore. That's why I had to know if you knew how attractive you are. I can't do any more girls who think it's their destiny to be prom queen."

"Did you really think I did?"

"I had to make sure. It was pretty bad when we broke up. If you date someone for long enough then they become woven into your life. There is no such thing as a clean break; pieces of you always get left behind. I was suffocating to death being with her but it hurt to leave. I don't want to go through that again." His eyes focused on memories still fresh.

"Did you love her?"

"Yes," he said quietly. "Just not enough to destroy myself."

"That wouldn't have done her any good; you can't make much of a life with a corpse." I lifted my face up to his and let my lips soothe his pain.

Before we passed the point of no return, he moved back and smiled. "Did you date much in high school?"

"A bit. I had one serious-ish boyfriend, Tim. He was nice, a bit alternative without freaking out my mother. We saw a few cool bands together. He liked old British comedy, Monty Python and stuff." I shrugged

"Why did you break up?" Seth asked.

"When the whole Stacy thing started going down, I just couldn't be bothered anymore. He was officially my boyfriend and everything, but there wasn't much to it."

Seth nuzzled my neck, "I don't have any competition then?"

"You don't have any competition. Have you seen yourself recently?"

He pulled away, "That's why you like me?"

"Because you're hot? No. I like you because with a body this beautiful you should be a total ass. Girls are throwing themselves at you. By rights you should be so up yourself that you can't see the light of day. But instead here you are actually giving a fig about my stupid little life. You won't date anyone who isn't real and totally honest. You might be moving in on the girl your brother was after, but you are doing it rather gently. I don't like you because you're hot, I like you despite the fact you're hot. I am totally in awe of you, because you can have this life and not fall into the trap."

His eyes were wide and his pupils almost fully dilated.

"Thank you," he croaked. He flung himself onto my chest.

I didn't know where to put myself. Is he crying? I put my arms around him and hoped he wouldn't notice my internal freak-out. I'm in the weirdest most perfect moment of my life and now I made him cry. Do I just sit here?

Seth sat up and smiled slightly sheepishly, "I haven't cried in a long time."

"It's only fair that we each get a turn. I've just accepted that today is one of the most random days of my life, in a good way, so please feel free to do whatever takes your fancy."

Seth kissed me; which was good because that's what took my fancy, too.

A long time passed.

"Stop."

I sat up suddenly, "Stop?" One rule about life; there is always room for more random.

"In about ten seconds we are going to be presented with two choices, either leave the building or change rooms."

I held my breath.

"I think we should leave," he said in very measured tones. I couldn't speak. "I want this to last for a long time. I want to at least get to know you well enough to know if this can last a long time. If you stoke a fire too much at the beginning, there's no fuel to keep it going."

My hands were shaking. I nodded. "Are you disappointed?" I shook my head.

"Have you lost the ability to talk? I just think that if we rush, it won't be as good. I've been waiting a long time to meet the right person and I don't want to mess it all up because I got carried away. But if you want to, we could." His face was racked with worry.

I kissed his cheek and then the proximity was too much for me. After a few more minutes it was my turn to push him away. "You're right. Where are we going to go? Are we really just going to show up to Frisbee? Is it fair to Josh? Should you speak to him first?"

"You're right, I should. I hate to say this but maybe I should go find him alone?"

I sighed. "It's not the most fun idea, but it is the fairest. I am supposed to be researching a group project. I doubt I can concentrate but I could try."

He walked me all the way home, hand in hand. I'm glad we didn't have to take a bus. I think I might have sat in his lap. As we passed campus, I tried not to notice the girls staring. I was so busy not noticing that I nearly walked into Tal. I jumped. She jumped. Seth snorted with laughter.

"Chloe, aren't you working on the project?" Her eyes were scanning the street.

"I'm on my way to do it now," I justified and then felt silly. Why should I defend myself to her?

She wasn't really listening. Her eyes rested about twenty feet over my shoulder.

"Good, we can talk about it tomorrow. Have a nice evening." She wandered off without even glancing at Seth.

She's got to be blind as well as weird.

I was about to explain away my random acquaintances when Seth pulled me a little closer. "What shall we do tonight?" He asked me. Watch a movie seemed like too mundane a response.

Are we really just going to do normal things together? I'm falling headfirst in love with this guy. My most indulgent fantasies are coming true. How on earth does that fit into the real world? But what else are we going to do? Kiss all day long? Which is actually not a bad idea.

I had a brainwave. "You're going to tell me about your mother and her cooking habits."

He laughed, "It's a deal."

He left me at the doorstep and I floated upstairs.

*

For nearly the millionth time, Tal wished her brother would realize a tactics meeting could be conducted on the couches just as well as on the upright wooden chairs they usually used. Her butt was starting to go numb, and it wasn't improving her already delicate emotional state. All seven of them were present; Tal, her brother Gal, their cousins Dror and Dava, and their second cousins, Jov and Noy. Their other cousin Cale was the odd man out with his flaming red hair and no sibling present to bicker with.

"I thought I had it. I was within meters and then my Interloper went berserk. By the time I was centered again, I'd lost it." Tal explained.

Gal looked at his sister sympathetically. His dark hair skirted the edge of his brow. "Tal, we all know that it's risky. Tracking on the ground is hard going. In the Palace we have Sight but what are we working with here? A hunch and an educated guess? It could be anything. It's not like anyone's walking the streets waving a big sign saying, 'Here I am, the bringer of Oblivion'."

"And those ones are usually harmless," Jov said with a grin, pushing his ever present baseball cap back over his corn yellow hair..

Tal shook her head, "I've really been working on balance recently."

"We all work on balance all the time. That's the whole point, the Interloper is inside you. It's always as good as you are. Come on Tal, this is the Palace 101. The only way you can beat it is by rising up and being more in the moment." Gal stood and began to pace as he spoke. "Because as soon as you grow, it's up there with you. The Interloper never leaves you. Can you imagine what it looks like by the time you reach the Throne Room?"

Noy held Tal's hand, "I once saw a Master Guide. His physical face and his Palace face were one, and even he had an Interloper." Her green eyes were bright with the memory. The color was extenuated by the mint green scarf she'd used to tie back her springy blond curls.

"They say that for the Master Guides they reach so high that instead of struggling with their Interloper they hold it in a lover's embrace," Dava said hiding half a shy smile behind a sheet of caramel shoulder-length hair.

Noy nodded, her curls bouncing, "Because they can even use its power to perform the Service."

Gal came to a stop in front of Tal, "Even at our lowly level we can use the Interloper. When it fights, we know we are close."

Gal's tone marked the switch from sympathy to business, "The mission is clear. We know that the sinkhole is coming from somewhere near campus. We can step up our outreach activities. If we can bring some more Serfs closer it would really help. This is shaping up to be one of the biggest threats we've faced yet."

Always last to speak, Dror raised his hand across the circle, "Are we really up to this on our own?" Even in a loose fitting button down shirt, Dror gave the impression of rippling muscle.

"The Guide is always available to us. What we need will come." Gal was unperturbed.

Tal looked up from her self pity, "It felt like there was something else. There was some other force involved, a protection spell perhaps."

"Should we go to the Guide?" Dava asked tentatively.

"We need to know more. A vague feeling on the ground is not the same as a sighting in the Palace. Everyone should look out for other forces that might be involved." Gal looked around the circle.

"What if it's too much for us?" Tal's voice still betrayed her earlier tears.

Gal shook his head, "There's no such thing. If it was too much, we'd know soon enough. Until we see anyone else being deployed to deal with this, we know that it's within our capabilities."

"I wish the Serfs would be just a bit more careful. If they don't want to perform the Service can't they at least try not to cause rifts?" Dror shook his head.

Dava frowned, "It's not fair, Dror, they just don't know."

"They don't want to know."

"It's hardly their fault. For centuries the plan worked. We told the rest of the world the truth and called it a religion. Any insanity would be excused in the name of religion and no one ever believed us."

"But now our own People don't believe us." Noy interjected.

"So we have to work harder," Dava said. "We have to get past their Interlopers and show them the Palace. It's not up to us to choose our Service. But the way to enlist them into Service isn't to beat them over the head with a sledgehammer. We can't just walk up to them and say, 'Excuse me ma'am, but it's your destiny to live in a higher spiritual realm performing Service to heaven. If you do so you will experience untold bliss, except you will also be expected to fight in a battle that will never be won. It will only take the rest of your life. If you chose not to, then you can continue with you ordinary life. But by the way, if too many people refuse the Service then the world will stop turning.' " Dava waited for a response.

Dror was not convinced. "I'm not expecting them to understand, but it's hard enough to keep the Adversary from overpowering the Connection without them helping it out."

"Go explain to them why eating a burger with lettuce is spiritually more harmful than eating one without lettuce, because there might be a bug on it. Try telling them that eating bugs has a negative spiritual effect and weakens their standing in the Palace." Dava pushed back her chair in frustration.

Noy and Tal exchanged a look. It wasn't often that Dava got so worked up. Her calm was one of their group's greatest assets.

"But we don't have to stand around and let them sabotage us." Dror leapt to his feet. At six foot two he towered over the slight Dava.

She stood pulling herself up to her full height and then more. Tal looked nervously at Gal. Dava had just manifested her Palace-self on the ground. For one who could See, there in front of them were two Davas superimposed. A small waif-like girl who looked much less than her nineteen years, and a proud warrior with strong battle seasoned body daring Dror to attack.

"We're not the ones running the world. We're here to perform the Service that is asked of us; not sit around discussing our feelings about it. It's not like we don't know why we're doing this. In order for free will to exist, there has to be a struggle between Good and Evil. We fight so that they have the choice. And sometimes they choose bad."

Dava starred at Dror, daring him to argue. "It is not our job to know the heavenly reckoning. He Who Knows asks us to Serve. If you don't want to, you don't have to. You know your way to the door."

Dror looked suitably uncomfortable. No one who'd seen the inside of the Palace just walked out. They lost battles, died, fell under the thrall of the Interloper, but no one just decided it wasn't for them anymore and left.

Dava exhaled and her Palace-self slipped away. "If it makes you feel better, I'd suggest that you work on Serf education," she said looking to Gal for confirmation. He nodded his agreement.

Noy raised her hand tentatively. "My fourth cousin, in the C quadrant, was telling me about some really cool stuff they were doing with music. Inviting Serfs to come and jam, then using the music to help them access the Palace. Usually it's enough to help them overcome their Interlopers long enough to learn more."

Cale nodded. "That's the hard part right, getting them to see it's real."

"Noy, you, Dror and Cale start on Serf education. I'm sure you can come up with something cool. Tal, Noy and Jov scan around campus. Dava's with me. Obviously we keep up our Service and learning. Text if you See anything."

"Does anyone want to come and help set up for the Kalish's party tonight?" Noy asked.

"Sure, why not?" Noy shrugged. Dror nodded.

Tal shook her head, "I've got a stupid group project to do. Have I mentioned how awful it is? I'm stuck in a group with this study partner of mine. She's an Other, but nice and inoffensive. Now this cute Serf has latched himself onto her, and I have to spend all my time watching him try to chat her up."

Cale groaned, "That's all we need."

Dava grimaced, "You poor thing. How do you stomach it?"

"Right now the saving grace is that she seems pretty uninterested," Tal chuckled.
Chapter 4

I looked around my room and checked my watch. Then I looked around some more. I'd already checked the Facebook page of everyone I'd ever met. I'd read all the celebrity gossip. He was still not back. In a minute I might have to start researching the history of internal imagining. Anything not to think about Seth or Seth talking to Josh or Seth coming over to my house or Seth being in my room.

As Wikipedia opened, I had a brainwave as I thought of a topic totally unrelated to Seth. I'd finally take the time to look up Tal's religion; maybe it would make her seem a little less weird.

The People, known also as the Avdiim or Servants, are an ethno-religious group found in most parts of the Western hemisphere. Converts to the Way have been absorbed into the People throughout the millennia.

One of the oldest religious traditions; elements of belief can be found in the Judeo-Christian, Islamic, Buddhist and Bahai faiths.

The Avdiim were traditionally thought to live in the Palace, a higher spiritual plane linked to the physical world. Acts of Service in the physical world are used to fuel a cosmic battle within the Palace realm. A complex mythology maps the intricacies of the Palace. Adherents are understood to be combatants in the battle between Connection and Oblivion within the Palace, as well as fighting their Interloper, a quasi-demonic force that resides within each of the Avdiim attempting to dominate. The calendar year is divided into different spheres of influence, the Days of Esau and the Days of Jacob; together with specific times of governance, a constant cycle of introspection and spiritual renewal defines the practice.

Dietary practices include ritually slaughtered meat and careful inspection of all food stuffs to prevent the digestion of arthropods.

I got up and opened my door, "Simone, what's an arthropod?"

I'd found a room in an apartment advertised on the campus Listserv. It was on the other side of campus from the official student ghetto, but still close enough to run to class if I missed my alarm. My roommate, Simone, was a hippy PhD student who spent the majority of her time either writing her thesis or skypeing her long distance boyfriend. Sometimes having a PhD student as a housemate had its advantages. Simone was a mine of useful information.

"A bug," her tone was suspicious. "Why?"

"The People, you know the religion, don't eat them." I called back.

"I thought they ate cheesecake?"

"I think they do, and they're chiropractors. Do you know anything else about them?" It was worth a try.

"Besides being monotheistic, not much." Apparently this was outside her area of expertise.

I tried Googling the People, and got distracted by people.co.uk which turned out to be a British celebrity gossip site. I wasted some time looking at the latest B-list celebrity divorce scandal that being British I had missed in my previous session of voyeurism.

I'd actually managed to go a good few minutes without thinking about Seth when Simone walked into my room. "You've got a visitor."

I tried to control my smile as I looked up from my computer.

"Should I send him in?" Her eyes spoke volumes, most of which were ????!!!!???..

"Sure," I kept my tone as casual as possible.

Seth brushed past her. He looked at me and smiled. I looked at him and smiled.

A century later I realized that Simone was still standing at the door with her eyeballs nearly exiting her body. "Simone, this is Seth." I paused.

"Her boyfriend," he added with a grin as he stepped over to my chair and touched my cheek lightly. It's a good thing that I was sitting down. As it was I nearly slipped off the chair in waves of delight.

Simone did a double take. Her lips tangled with surprise, her cheeks flushed, she finally croaked, "Oh, nice to meet you. I'll get back to my dissertation. Do you need anything?"

I kept my face very still. "No thanks. Good luck with the paper."

I don't think the door had clicked shut before Seth swept me up into his arms.

Whole species had evolved by the time I thought to speak. We were sitting on the edge of my bed as he stroked my face with the palm of his hand.

"How did it go with Josh?" I murmured, as his hand came close to my lips and was rewarded with a kiss. The caressing stopped. I lifted my head from his chest.

"It was alright," he shrugged.

"Could you flesh that out a bit more for me please? You said... then he said... ?"

Seth nodded, "I went over to Frisbee. I said 'Josh, can I have a word for a minute?' He said 'Yes.' "

I rolled my eyes.

"What? He knew it was coming. We walked a bit away from the others. He said 'So Chloe's with you? I guess I didn't stand much of a chance.' And I basically said to him, 'Bro, you know I don't just date any old girl, not after Emily. I haven't so much as looked at anyone in over a year. But I'm sorry that when I finally found one that's worth it, you had to like her, too. I did try to hold back a bit to see if you got anywhere with her but then I just couldn't help myself.' He asked where you were, and I said you'd gone home because we didn't want to make him look like a dick by just turning up together without at least warning him." He pulled me closer.

"He wasn't mad at all?"

"Nah, it's not like we're going to stop being brothers over it. He wasn't getting anywhere with you, anyway. I asked if he wanted us to lay low for a week or two so he didn't lose face, but he said he didn't care. So do you want to go out tonight?"

"Go out?" It wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind.

"I'm thinking of it as reverse dating. Usually you take the girl out get to know her a bit. Then when things seem to be working, you become an item. And then, when you're really sure, you declare your undying love. We seem to have started at the end."

I sat back and looked at him, "You declared you undying love?" I asked suspiciously.

He bit his lip and was uncharacteristically unsure of himself. "I might have," he said slowly.

"Very undying or just like until you're thirty?" My mouth was on autopilot and this time not helping me out.

I think I was having an out of body experience. How can one person stand such pleasure? I didn't need his words to know what his eyes were telling me. He loves me. I've loved him since the first moment I saw him. Why else would I let down all my defenses and fall for a guy who represents all of the things that I usually run from in life? Because he's the One.

He couldn't read my thoughts and my face was still as I tried to integrate the enormity of the moment. It's not every day you meet your soul mate, so it took some processing. Seth seemed to shrink back as he came to the wrong conclusions.

In a tiny voice he said, "Pretty undying, at least until I'm forty." He rallied at the end, presumably hoping the joke would save him from his growing embarrassment. He was so busy cowering that I took him totally by surprise.

He flew backward, landing neatly with his head on my pillow as I let my lips show him how I felt. Nothing will keep us apart now that we've found each other.

At some point my hair had fallen out of its usual topknot. As he lifted me off him just enough to see my face, hair cascaded around us; brown wavy curtains created an exclusive VIP suite. My face was just inches from his. He seemed to glow; his eyes were wide and deep. I felt the same incandescence radiating off my skin. I was drowning in his eyes, waiting for his lips to save me.

"Forever?" he whispered.

As surely as I have ever known anything in my life, I responded, "Forever."

I melted into him.

Simone was closeted in her room when we emerged. Seth held my hand, fingers entwined, all the way to the kitchen. He pulled me closer and kissed me against the open fridge.

"I'm trying to make us some dinner."

"I lost my appetite," he murmured into my neck.

"I didn't."

"Are you trying to spoil my fun?" he laughed, as I pushed him into a nearby chair.

"We have to eat. If we're going out with the gang it won't look good if either of us faints from hunger or exhaustion." I searched the fridge for something suitable.

"It wouldn't do my rep any harm to have girls fainting at my feet," Seth muttered under his breath. I gave him a good long stare to let him know I'd heard him.

"Your reputation doesn't need any help." He smirked but stayed silent. I didn't have much in the fridge; half a tomato, an elderly green pepper and a tub of cottage cheese. I tried the cupboard.

"Do you need some help?" he interrupted me mid-rummage.

"No, I'm fine," I said with total uncertainty.

He stood up purposefully and looked in the fridge, "Which is yours?"

"The bottom shelf. The middle is Simone, and the top is things we share," I called over.

He straightened up and looked at me, "Do you ever eat?"

"Every day."

"What?" he was totally incredulous.

"Actually, often Simone cooks for both of us and I pay her back. I'm not much of a cook. When Simone's not around I have pasta and cheese or eggs or something."

"Or something, indeed," he said taking a deep breath. "Besides this, what do you have?"

"Pasta."

"And?"

I smiled sheepishly. He walked over and moved me aside gently. With one hand still around my waist, he surveyed my store cupboard.

"Good grief, woman, and you're worried about me collapsing from hunger. Have you ever heard of food groups?"

I snuggled into his warm body, "You should try and eat them?"

He kissed my forehead, "Get your purse, we're going out."

"Take out?"

"Groceries."

Simone was in the kitchen as I staggered back up the stairs with my arms full of bags. I was carrying the bags because Seth's arms were full of, not one but two, boxes of groceries.

She started giggling, "Doing some cooking?"

"Simone, I know we've only just met, but how could you just stand by and let her eat like this?" Seth asked shaking his head. "Pasta for two meals every day?"

"I get lunch on campus containing more than one food group," I protested unheard.

"I did what I could," Simone sighed with mock martyrdom. "I hand the torch to you."

Seth bowed, "I accept the position with honor."

Seth set me to chopping onions while he and Simone discussed recipes.

"Chloe, how much cooking have you actually done?" Seth asked when he peered over my shoulder.

"Not much, my mom isn't into cooking. She's more of a cake mix type herself. My grandma Mary was an amazing cook, but she didn't let anyone in the kitchen. She said she couldn't cook with people standing under her feet. Did I do something wrong?"

Seth nodded slowly, "Nothing that can't be fixed." He turned back to Simone "Excuse me for a minute." Then he wrapped his toned arms around me and put his hands over mine. "Here's an onion. After you cut it in half, take off the skin and the two outer layers, then we hold the knife like this, now cut into strips and then turn it around to make small cubes."

I tried not to feel his body pressed against mine, or worry that Simone would need to leave the room to vomit, and just concentrated on being a good student.

When the three of us sat around the kitchen table, having enjoyed a meal on Grandma Mary's level, Simone raised her glass to me. "We can definitely keep him, Chloe." She turned to Seth, "The rent is five hundred dollars a month, payable in cash to me and then I write a check for the landlord."

I was horrified by how appealing and natural the idea seemed, even if she was joking.

"You might come to want to charge me rent, but right now, officially at least, I live with my brother on Aylmer."

I got up and started to do the dishes. It was my usual chore.

"I'll do it, Chloe. You young things go and enjoy yourselves." Simone laughed at her joke, and began clearing up, humming under her breath.

"If you don't mind I want to change before we go out." I said as we headed back to my room.

He took the opportunity to go look at my balcony, which I suspected was code for grab a smoke.

By the time Seth came back, I had switched my jeans for black capri pants with a white ruffled shirt. My high-heeled ankle boots brought us to nearly the same height.

"Did you paint the room yourself?" he asked as I applied makeup.

"No. Before Simone had the apartment, this room was a dining room. The other tenant liked dark green walls. The girl who shared with Simone before me never bothered to paint. I kind of like it. I found the chandelier in a junk shop. I thought it was dramatic."

"It has a pleasant Anne Rice feel to it." I was glad he approved.

"Do you want to walk?" he made it sound like a normal request.

"All the way downtown?" He might still be joking.

Seth laughed, "That was a no, then. Don't look at me like that. At this time of day, it's getting cooler, and it's basically a level walk or downhill all the way. We still don't have to meet them for a couple of hours. We could sit by the water."

We walked.

"You'll need boots," he commented as we started out.

I looked pointedly at my feet.

"For the winter. These ones are great in the fashion department but how much snow do they really keep out?"

"I'm serious. You'll need to get some good thermal waterproof boots for the winter." He rubbed his thumb on my palm as we walked holding hands down the tree lined street.

"Dwayne has been telling me all these Montreal winter horror stories. He says that Montreal has four distinct seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter and summer."

Seth laughed out loud. "It's actually true."

"Tell me about your mother," I asked quickly to avoid any further weather related tension.

He smiled but let me get away with it.

"That you didn't hear already from Josh?" he raised one eyebrow.

"Josh says she's ultra-healthy, she decorated your apartment and I presume she taught you to cook."

Seth thought for a minute. "My mother is very controlled emotionally. She's pretty controlled about everything. She has high expectations and specific ideas about what's acceptable. We all try to please her. Sometimes we succeed. She's a caring woman who just doesn't know that much about being loving."

"It doesn't sound like she's the easiest mother in the world."

Seth snorted, "Whatever gave you that idea? My father is more of a hands on sort of Dad, so he took some of the edge off. It wasn't all bad. I play piano and Josh is much better on the violin than he would care to admit. When we were kids we played a concerto together with Susie on the harp."

"Harp?"

I saw his eyes crease as he smiled. "Yes, harp. She's thinking of applying to the Music Faculty here. She inherited a lot of Mom's drive to succeed."

"What did you get from her?"

He licked his lips, "Honestly? The annoying ability to be nearly perfect at everything I do."

"Humility, apparently, was not part of the package." I pulled him a little closer so he'd know I didn't actually mind.

"It is a double-edged sword. I don't usually try to do things I won't be able to do perfectly, so it's rather self-perpetuating. I'm not an artist. Sometimes I think I should take an art class so I can practice doing something I'm really bad at in the name of personal development. I was trying to branch out with Capoeira."

"You were definitely holding your own at the Tams on Sunday." I said encouragingly.

Seth looked sheepish, "That was my second time doing it. It's not that hard."

We had walked out of the student ghetto and into the main business area. I caught sight of our reflection in the giant window-walls of an office building. I stopped to stare.

"Oh." I looked up at him, and without thinking my free hand caressed his cheek.

"You just realized I'm a total jerk? It's my big secret. People expect me to be a jerk and then I prove them wrong, but under the surface lurks my true nature."

I didn't laugh, and he looked worried. I shook myself. "As long as you continue to have healthy level of self-deprecation we'll be ok. That's not the problem. I was having a nice time, talking to you and looking at the people passing by. I just passed this beautiful couple. They were both attractive, well dressed and looked very in love. I felt the usual twinge of jealousy."

Seth wrinkled his brow. "So? You're normal.'

I pointed to the huge shiny wall of window, "It was us! We are that couple!"

Seth snorted with laughter and started walking again. "Which part's upsetting you, that they were very much in love or that you accidently noticed you're attractive?"

"I don't think I'm ready to be one of those beautiful people," I wailed.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Life is not a ride at Disney. You don't just pick which story you're living out and then just let it happen to you. Life is something you chose."

I looked away, "Tell that to everyone else out there."

"Everyone else is stupid. You don't have to be the person you started out being. You can become someone else but not by purchasing an identity on eBay. If you, Chloe, don't want to be a beautiful person, then no one can make you be it."

I smiled weakly. "Can I just be your girl?"

"Every day for the rest of my life, but don't make it your identity." His emerald eyes smoldered with an emotion I couldn't name.

There are moments that you enjoy so much, you replay them over and over again waiting for buses or when you can't get to sleep at night. When I'm so old that my mouth has shrunk and my dentures threaten to take over my face, this moment will still warm my gnarled innards.

I liked this bar better than the one from the first night. Down by the old docks, this bar sported small bowls of nuts on each table and soft jazz music playing in the background. The raw stone walls hummed from centuries of tobacco and nights well lived.

He was holding my hand so without realizing what was happening, I followed him as he moved forward around the corner of the bar. Suddenly it's too late to back out.

They're all here. It's like walking into the line – dancing hall in full goth-gear, except without the comfort of inches of makeup. Then I looked at Seth.

He was glowing.

Seth I-could–get-any-girl-I-want-and-possibly-two-at-a-time Wilks was proud of me.

I grew a little taller and a smile broke out just in time for them to look up. Everything happened in slow motion. Josh looked up. I saw him process and then look genuinely happy. Do we look that right for each other? Bernie nudged Charlie, and then smirked. Dwayne barely looked up. Maxine arched one perfectly crafted eyebrow. Ethan had his back to us. He only looked up when the action started. Seth's sudden change in relationship status sent shockwaves through the female half of the summer school gang.

Karen, the bitchy British chic who often dominated the conversation had just taken a mouthful of her drink. She looked. Her whole body shuddered. I think she forgot to breathe because suddenly she spat beer all over Ethan.

Her perky blond sidekick screamed, "Oh, my god!"

"Why'd you do that?" Ethan yelled at Karen, who was totally speechless. Her hands were shaking. Ethan's tone changed from furious to concerned. "Are you having a stroke? Should we call an ambulance?"

Bernie was laughing so hard she had to grab onto Charlie's arm to keep from falling off her chair. The sidekick was rubbing the bridge of her nose, eyes to the ground.

Ethan looked around wildly. "Should we call an ambulance? I think she is having some sort of fit."

"Maybe she will feel better if she washes her face," Maxine said coolly. She came around behind Karen and led her off by the shoulders.

"I hope she's going to be ok." Ethan shook his head as he tried to wipe beer off his pants. Everyone else was still staring at us.

"Hi, Seth, how are you doing?" Bernie asked brightly.

"Pretty good." Seth pulled a chair up for me from the next table. I look at Seth. Is he having as much fun as I am? His face was characteristically chilled but his eyes danced so it seemed the answer was yes.

It was around nine when Seth whispered gently in my ear, "I'm supposed to work tonight. What do you want me to do? I could call in sick, or you could come with me."

I thought about it, "I'm going to go home. I don't want you to get in trouble with your boss and I'd love to see where you work but today has been a very long day. I might just go to sleep."

"I'll bring you breakfast," his lips brushed my cheek. Besides the arm around my back, it was almost the only PDA of the evening. It seemed oddly juxtaposed after the afternoon. After a while I realized that his eyes never left me for more than a few seconds, he just kept his hands to himself.

On the way out he was less restrained. Seth stopped beside a mock-antique lamppost. He put his other arm around me and I was glad for the firm iron behind me as I melted into his kiss.

"Could you people get a room, already?" Josh called over.

Seth disengaged his lips but kept his body pressed tightly against me. "I'm just assisting this young lady in finding a taxi," he called back.

"I don't think you'll find one next to her tonsils," Josh snorted.

I shifted my weight and Seth took the hint.

When we caught up with the others, I looked at my watch. "Don't you have to be at work at ten?" I asked Seth. "I think you're about to be late. Why don't you take the cab to work and I'll go with Bernie."

He kissed me goodbye to a chorus of Josh and Ethan coughing. I watched him go off into the night and I finally let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Hot damn. Well, it had to happen to someone." Spike said cheerfully when I finished telling her about the most perfect day of my life.

"What do you mean? Isn't now when you tell me to stop being all Hollywood?"

"Nope. Hollywood can only get away with telling all those stories because sometimes it does happen. Sometimes someone does meet their soul mate. Some people are destined to fall in love and live happily ever after. The mere possibility keeps everyone else hoping. But someone has to be the one in a billion that gets it. Congratulations."

I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. "You don't think I'm crazy? Or just infatuated or overwhelmed by his coolness?"

"You, of all people, will never be overwhelmed by anyone's coolness. You are way to cerebral to let yourself be infatuated and I've never noticed you to be crazy. From what you say Mr. Wonderful secretly had his eye on you all along. So it's not even totally out of the blue. I wouldn't bother buying a lottery ticket ever again, though. You've probably used up all your good luck for a lifetime," she chuckled to herself.

"What do I do now?"

"Enjoy it."

I got ready for bed slowly.

My whole insides feel different. It's like something opened up. There's a beautiful garden with roses and flowing fountains. My mind keeps saying, "but you just met him," and my heart keeps saying, "welcome home." I feel like I've always belonged to him. Is it as simple as Spike says it is, just sit back and enjoy it?

Simone was smirking when I woke up. I ignored her and continue dragging myself to the bathroom. As I pass through the kitchen there are pancakes, orange juice and flowers on the table. They weren't there the day before. I glared at Simone.

"I found it on the doorstep when I came back from my run," she explained.

"How do you know it's for us? What if Louis downstairs got lucky last night?"

She was way too cheery for that hour of the morning. "One, Louis went away for a few weeks, he asked me to take in his mail. Two, it was at our door. And three, I saw Seth leave it."

"Why didn't he come in?"

"He said, and I quote, 'Please tell Chloe I'd love to come and wake her up, but I wouldn't want her to be late for class.' Look he left you a note."

It was tucked next to the flowers.

Chloe,

This is stage one of operation Food Group. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to eat a hearty breakfast, go to class, and then meet me later at my place for a nutritionally balanced lunch. Come whenever you're ready, just call on the way to wake me up.

Love Seth xx

I sat down in the chair. He brought me breakfast. It was real. Seth wants to have lunch with me. Seth cares about the food I eat. Seth Wilks is my boyfriend. He might have actually been telling the truth. In some crazy unbelievable way, it might be possible that Seth loves me or at the very least wants to spend more time with me.

Tal was sitting at our regular table as I walked over. "Josh says he's just going to the men's room. Do you mind waiting?"

Tal shrugged, "What can we do? Boys are weird about the whole bathroom thing. One of my brothers gets all antsy if he can't go the exact second he needs to go."

I looked at her. It was a very un-Tal sort of thing to say.

"How's it going with you two?" she asked casually.

I laughed, "There is no 'us two.' I'm... I actually just started seeing someone else."

She looks relieved; perhaps she likes him. A boyfriend might bring her out of her shell a bit, maybe I should set them up. I'm not sure if she's Josh's type though. I doubt Tal is anyone's type.

"What's he like?" Tal asked with a faraway look in her eyes.

I sighed with pleasure, "Beyond wonderful. Good looking, smart, funny, kind. It's still so new. This morning I woke up to find he'd left breakfast waiting for me on my doorstep."

"Wow, that's so romantic."

I beamed, "I know. There were pancakes with maple syrup and freshly squeezed orange juice too. I'm going over to his house as soon as we finish here."

Tal looked at her watch, "I guess we'd better hurry up then. It must be wonderful to have a boyfriend. I don't really date."

There goes the Josh plan.

"Why not?" I asked, hoping it wasn't the wrong question.

"I can only marry another one of the People. We wait until we are ready to get married before we date. I'll probably start in my last year of school."

"Is that why you're in a hurry to finish?"

She blushed, "A little. Also, why waste time when you don't have to? I see Others on campus and sometimes I feel a little jealous. There are so many things we can't do."

I felt bad. "Would you rather I didn't mention it again? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Oh no," she said quickly. "You can tell me all about it. I don't mind at all." She smiled, "It's actually rather nice to live vicariously."

I grinned back conspiratorially, "I wouldn't mind having someone to tell all the gory details to. There's nothing worse than someone who can't shut up about their new love. I don't know much about your community. Is it hard living with all those rules?"

She shrugged, "It's a bit like asking if it is tiring to have to breathe all the time. This is just what we do." Tal thought about it for a minute. "Sometimes it's hard," she confessed. "Sometimes I wish I just had a regular life, but most of the time it's amazing and I wouldn't switch it for the world. It's just not always easy not to be able choose the life you have."

I felt I'd touched on something personal. I'd never seen her let her guard down before. She looked so sad. I wanted to make her feel better.

"It doesn't have to be like that, there's always a choice." I said kindly.

Instantly the wall was back up, "Maybe for you." She shot back.

Just then Josh came over, but I could see in her eyes that, even if he hadn't, the conversation was closed.

*

Tal sat next to Dava on the bus. Dava waited for Tal to speak.

"I'm just kicking myself," Tal began angrily. "I should have known better. I was trying to find a way to stop my study partner from getting together with the Serf. I thought if I was more regular-sounding then she'd trust me and I could steer her away from him."

"Sounds like a good plan," Dava murmured.

"Except that then she tells me she's not even interested in him, and that she's got a different boyfriend." Tal stuffed her bus pass back into her bag.

"That's great!" Dava beamed, "Our prayers helped."

Tal sighed, "Yeah, they did. But then she started telling me about him. He's so wonderful and so romantic. Before I knew what was happening, my Interloper had overtaken me and I told her how I wish I could date and just be normal." She tried to hold back the tears filling her eyes.

Dava stroked Tal's hand, "It is hard."

Tal threw up her hands, "But I shouldn't go around telling Others about it. How is she ever going to understand? She just thinks I'm a religious freak. It's not like she's ever going to know the truth. Why bother?"

"You just said the answer; your Interloper was in overdrive."

"But it can only get you to do something you want to do. I wanted to complain to her."

Dava pursed her lips, "Maybe you just wanted to be friends with this girl. You can have an Other as a friend, you know. Just be careful what you tell her."

"What happens if she starts to know too much?" Tal asked. "She asks me questions like she actually cares!"

"If you have to, give her some pamphlets; that usually throws them off. Start telling her a lot of theology then she's sure to back off." Dava suggested.

"But then she won't be my friend." Tal muttered.

"I hear you. If you want to be her friend you might want to avoid sounding like a total lunatic. Nothing is going to happen if you only tell her the basics. I doubt she's even that interested. Just tell her the minimum. She won't believe you and you won't have to worry about giving the game away."

Tal shook her head, "Do you think it's easier for the Angels?"

Dava smiled, "No, they don't have free choice so they don't get a reward and the Others don't have Sight so they don't perform the Service. We have the best of both worlds."

*

Seth answered the door wearing only his familiar black jeans. Before I could close the door behind me, he slipped one arm around my waist pulling me close against his firm chest. Not a bad way to start things off. He tasted like fresh mint toothpaste, apparently he hadn't been joking about only getting up minutes before I arrived.

"Not planning on getting dressed?" I asked, when he pulled away for a second.

"Clothing is so over rated," he said, as he finally shut the front door behind me.

I followed him into the kitchen. "Josh says he'll be home later. He said something about a Wii rematch with Dwayne."

"I think he's avoiding us," Seth chuckled.

"There was more to the message," I confessed. "He might have said something about not coming home until we came up for air, which he might have suggested would be some time next May."

Seth took my hand, intertwined our fingers and then pulled me towards him. "Only May?" He murmured as he bent to touch his lips to mine. "I thought at least next June."

My witty response was lost in the force of his kiss.

I'd never noticed that he was so much taller than me. I could have done the math: I'm five foot six and Seth must be at least six foot three, so I could have worked out that his lips are at least a few inches above mine. At a certain point, I realized I was standing on tiptoes and liable to topple over due to the lightheadedness his proximity was inducing. I was about to suggest relocation to the couch when my stomach announced its presence.

"Was I led here under false pretenses?" I asked.

Seth wrinkled his brow in exaggerated confusion.

"I was promised lunch involving multiple food groups. I carefully didn't get anything in the cafeteria so as to not ruin my appetite."

His whole face lit up. "I'm so sorry. I've been totally remiss in my duties as a host. Do let me provide you with the promised luncheon."

He bowed deeply and then grabbed my hand dragging me into the living room. In the corner, next to the bay window that dominated the room, a table had been laid with a linen tablecloth. Two places were set with real china plates and crystal glasses.

Seth waved his hand towards the table. "Salmon en croute with dill sauce and a mixed greens salad with balsamic dressing. If you make yourself comfortable, I'll bring in fresh butternut squash soup and crusty garlic bread."

"You really made all of this? I've only seen food like this on the cooking channel."

"I didn't actually make the puff pastry myself but I really did put the salmon inside and bake it."

"For me?"

He kissed me on the nose. It was surprisingly nice for a gesture that could have been totally patronizing. "All of it for you. Although, if you don't mind, I was hoping you'd share with me."

I picked a chair and was quickly tucking into one of the most delicious soups I've ever tasted.

"What's in this?" I asked as I scooped the last morsel into my spoon.

"More? I like it too. It's the coconut milk that makes all the difference. The curry adds a little zing but the coconut really rounds things off."

He brought me another huge bowl. I was worried I wouldn't have room for the salmon. I worried needlessly. It was worth finding room for.

"When did you whip all this up?" He might have been lying about the whole sleeping thing. I just need to check he's not a vampire. I've seen him in the sunlight, so I'm pretty sure he's not, but these days a girl can't be too careful. Do werewolves have special culinary talents? Maybe a heightened sense of smell leads to great cooking abilities? I'm sure that I'm Team Seth but I'd like to know what I'm dealing with.

Seth stifled a smile, "I'm very productive between three and five am. I picked a menu of things that could be made in advance."

"Do you eat like this every day?"

"No, only when I'm trying to impress."

I nodded, "You succeeded. Is there dessert?"

He stood and motioned with his index finger that I should follow him. I sank next to him on the sofa, our sofa. I slipped into his arms. It was not quite the dessert I'd had in mind but it was sweet.

After seven, Josh came home. The dishes were still on the table and we were still on the sofa. We stopped what we were doing and I watched as Josh, Dwayne and Ethan plunked themselves down on the other sofa.

"Hi guys," Josh called cheerfully.

Ethan was struggling not to giggle.

Dwayne's face was totally deadpan. He must be a mean poker player.

"Gentlemen," Seth nodded curtly.

"Chloe, I'm not sure that you're familiar with the layout of our apartment," Josh said. "Behind us is the kitchen, this is the living/dining room, and over to your left you will see two doors. One is my bedroom, the other to the right is Seth's bedroom. When we want to experience privacy, we make use of the bedroom facilities so thoughtfully provided."

Seth shrugged, "Ok then." He stood up and waited for me to join him.

I looked around quickly as we walked through the door. In the middle was a big pine bed with navy blue sheets, unmade. One whole wall was lined with books. On the floor was one of those shaggy rag-rugs that look good but are really uncomfortable to walk on. Over the bed was a print of a painting that might have been a Van Gough but not one I recognized.

"What was that?" I asked as soon as the door shut behind us.

"That was Josh saying, 'Brother, I'm happy that you found a girl you like. Enjoy your good fortune, but I expect life to go on pretty much as usual, so please arrange yourself accordingly'."

"Oh, I thought it was more like 'up yours.' " I didn't want to be the cause of major brotherly tension.

"Nah. Josh isn't like that. This is his way of clearing the air. If he avoided us every time you came over, it would get really awkward really quickly. This way everything is out in the open."

"Except we're in a locked room, not so open."

"We can go back out to hang with Dwayne if you want." He started to make for the door.

I pulled him back, "I didn't say I was unhappy."

"I guess we'll stay here then."
Chapter 5

I had my head in Seth's lap. He was gently running his fingers through my hair. It was fast becoming our usual Sunday activity. I could see how the sun picked up the golden highlights in his hair as it streamed through my window. I hadn't even bothered to get properly dressed. I was still wearing the same tank top and shorts I slept in.

"Do you ever drink in the bar?" I asked after a long session of silent pontification.

"Sometimes, although it's a waste of my tips that I could use for something else." he shrugged. "Why?"

"I've been with you in multiple bars but I've never seen you drunk."

He thought about it. "I have to try pretty hard to get drunk. I think we have secret Irish ancestry. A lot can be blamed on ancestors."

"Tell me about it. I can't wait to get married and get rid of Diaz. I'm just not that successful at the whole Latina thing."

Oh, my goodness, I just told him I can't wait to get married. Will he know I already planned our wedding when I was supposed to be listening to someone else's group presentation?

"You're not the most Latino looking Latina I've ever met." He admitted.

How many Latinas does he know? I think he missed the marriage faux pas.

"I know, I'm too pasty to be a real Latina, and too freckled to be a very successful Goth. Stacy got all the throwback genes from some Swedish grandmother and I got stuck in the middle in cultural no-man's land."

"Stacy always gets the better deal?"

I took it as a challenge and leapt up to find a photo of my famous sister.

"See, come on admit it, she got the better deal."

He looked carefully at the picture. "You're right she's very attractive in a Kraft cheese snacks sort of way."

Seth sat up and placed each hand very gently around my face. "Chloe Diaz, you are a beautiful woman. I fought my brother to wheedle my way into your affections. I love the person you are but the packaging is not without merit."

He put his hands down and I rested my head against his chest.

"Do we stay messed up by our families for the rest of our lives?" I asked.

"Only if we let them." He kissed my hair. "Are you still going over that whole situation?"

I nodded, "But now it's totally different. All of this-," I waved my hand expansively and hoped he knew I meant meeting him, "Gives me a lot more sympathy for her. If this is how she feels about Rob then I understand why she'd run away. I'd climb mountain ranges to get to you."

Seth kissed my head again, "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"But why did she have to drop out of college? Couldn't she have just told Mom and Dad to stick it and moved in with him over there?"

"Have you tried anything as radical as asking her?" I moved away so I could give him a look. "It's not that crazy an idea. You could just ask her."

My eyes narrowed, "I don't know where she is, so how am I supposed to just call her up and ask her?"

"Message her on Facebook. She's not mad at you, why wouldn't she respond?" He made it sound so disgustingly reasonable.

I was not ready to be convinced. "What am I going to say? Why did you run off with Rob?"

Seth smiled, "I'd start with 'How are you doing?' before you go in with both barrels blazing. You don't have to, but it might make you feel better."

I stopped with the next protest on my lips. "Why?"

He shrugged, "You said that you never really had much to do with your sister, you have no idea what motivates her. Maybe now you could actually have a relationship with her."

"Have a relationship with Stacy?" I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"It might make you feel better if you can see her as a real person not just as some sort of icon." He looked a little uncomfortable.

It was time to change the subject. "Are we going out for what is rapidly becoming lunch?"

There was a twinge of relief in his smile. "We might have to, there's nothing left in your fridge. Would you mind if I stopped by your balcony while you finished getting ready?"

I smiled magnanimously, "It's all yours."

By the time Seth was ensconced on the balcony, I was ready to think about his suggestion. I flicked to Stacy's Facebook page. I hadn't thought to check it in a while and she doesn't show up on my newsfeed very often. I guess I should have taken the time to list her as my 'family.'

Her last status update read:

Anyone know a good drycleaners Jacksonville?

The previous one:

Decided that rats in NY were better than alligators in FL

Do I just message her? What on earth am I going to say? Are you having fun with your runaway boyfriend? Or what the hell do you think you're playing at, Mom is beside herself with worry. Last I heard she'd started making jam.

Hey Stacy, how's the weather in Florida? I hear it's pretty humid this time of year. Thinking of you, Chloe

I stared at the screen after I clicked send. Is today going to be another one of those days when I never make it back home again and end up regretting my early morning clothing choice?

I glanced at the clock. We've successfully bypassed most of the morning, so I can just plan for the afternoon/evening part of the day? Can I leave emergency makeup and jewelry at Seth's place in case I need to make a sudden transition from school to evening? Is it too soon?

"I see you make great progress in the getting ready department in my absence." Seth says as he comes back in.

"I'm not sure what to wear," I say finally, dragging myself upright.

He surveys the scene from my desk chair. "Unless my eyesight is failing me, you appear to be wearing clothes."

I gave him a look.

"We're going for brunch," he says cautiously, then pauses, "Am I going to lose metrosexual status if I ask what the problem is? I didn't know brunch equals clothing crisis."

"It doesn't. Brunch followed by hanging in the park, followed by dinner at some chic hole in the wall, followed by drinks by the river, followed by watching you work, equals a clothing crisis. It's asking a lot from one outfit." That was the honest truth, but it might have been girly overkill. Seth seemed chill, but then Seth is always chill.

"Okay, three thoughts. One, obviously you look stunning whatever you wear."

I went to protest and he waved me to silence. "Don't tell me it's just a line and my boyfriendly duty to say so. It's true, so I just have to put it out there. Second, you're right, yesterday was a bit of a marathon. I was not envisioning a repeat today. I was thinking much more chill. Brunch, the Tams, then maybe my place for dinner.

"If you're blatantly not doing any studying today, the least I can do is make sure you get an early night. Thirdly, if you think this whole mix-and-match outfit thing is going to be a recurring problem, why don't you just leave a few things at my house?"

He waited for my reaction. When I didn't reply he asked, "What part of this is bothering you?"

"I keep waiting for the part where something sucks. It can't be this good and this easy."

Seth smiled, "I could start farting more frequently." I shook my head but came over and slipped in under his arms. He smelt like heaven.

"Is it just you? Are you just perfect? Was it like this with Emily?"

"It was not like this with Emily." His face is passive.

"Isn't it supposed to feel a bit uncomfortable when you start dating someone? Aren't you supposed to feel tense, or have a few fights?" I looked up at him.

"Do you always analyze things this much?" He smiled his funny half smile that he saves for when he's trying to be serious for my sake. He didn't wait for an answer. "We still haven't resolved the main issue over here. Could you put some real clothes on before brunch becomes dinner? I'll just amuse myself over here." He picked up my laptop. I went to pick out a low-key but still cautiously multipurpose outfit.

"Hey, Chloe, before I sign you out of Facebook, I think Stacy messaged you back."

"She did?" I was across the room in a shot.

Hey sis, how's TX? Who's winning the AC wars this year? Did you get that job at the burger place with Spike and Jared? Did Jared come out yet? FL is hot. At least there's kind of built-in AC on the bike, although Rob makes me cover up. He's very safety conscious. Rob's working in a bike shop here. He's talking about opening his own place. I'll probably transfer to U of FL.

You can tell Mom and Dad I said hi if you think they want to hear it.

Stacy

I curled my legs under me, cradling the laptop between them. Words flickered through my mind. What do I say back again? Was she just sitting by her computer waiting to hear from me? Clearly not. But she wrote back straight away.

Not sure who's winning in the AC wars. I got the burger job but decided to come to school early. As of last night Jared hadn't come out, but Spike says she's wearing him down. She's threatening to defer college if he doesn't get over himself by the end of the summer. I think she should forget the official coming out stuff and just get him laid. Is U of FL a good school? Is it easy to transfer?

Chloe

I clicked reply and then regretted every word. Why am I asking her about school? I should have just stuck to non-confrontational subject like the weather. Before I finished berating myself she'd responded.

Where's school? Why'd you go early? I thought you guys had some whole summer extravaganza planned. Does Jared really need Spike to hold his hand to get laid? Maybe you underestimate the guy, he's pretty good looking. U of FL is a decent school, it has a very good biology department. Transferring shouldn't be a problem. I got good grades the semester I was at Dartmouth. Rob says hi.

Stacy

Rob says hi? He's sitting there reading over her shoulder. Doesn't he have anything better to do on a Sunday? What does she do all day, anyway? Watch him fix bikes?

Montreal. Home wasn't a fun place to be after you left. Mom started baking. Spike and Jared understood. I said I'd go with them after summer session was finished but now I doubt I will. I met someone, his name's Seth Wilks. Actually Spike hooked up too, I'm not sure she's in a rush to go on an epic road trip. You might be right about Jared. It's always the quiet ones. What do you do all day? Just hang out with Rob?

Chloe

I clicked reply angrily. Seth's name linked to his Facebook page. I might as well get some mileage out of the hot boyfriend. Wait, shoot.

"Seth, what's your profile pic right now? Is it you or some cryptic message to Bret?"

Seth looked up from the random textbook he'd pulled off my shelf. "It's me at the bar last week when I poured the Guinness with the shamrock on top." He looked at me quizzically but before I could answer a new message popped up.

Sorry you had to take the fallout especially if baking was involved. It seems things worked out okay in the end, though. Seth's beyond cute, nice work sis. Is he good to you? Right now, I'm working the day shift at the 7/11 down the road. Rob forbids me from working while I'm in school, so I want to have some money saved to make things easier on him. That's why the transfer: Dad said they wouldn't pay for school if I was with Rob. Rob can't exactly earn enough to pay for Ivy League tuition and keep us going day to day. Rob treats me like a princess, I'm very lucky. You'd like him if you met him. I got to go now, there's a vintage air show Rob wants to go to. Stay in touch,

Stacy

I stared at the screen while absentmindedly eating. Ok, so I blamed Stacy for ruining my life and Rob for ruining hers. Dad said that jerk got her to drop out of school and go cruising around on the back of a motorcycle. Now all of a sudden, he's going to support her through school?

I chewed thoughtfully as I tucked the last bite of cheese melt into my mouth.

"Hang on a second? Where did that come from?" I wheeled around

Seth chuckled, "We were obviously not leaving any time soon. I didn't think you could have the big reconciliation with your sister on an empty stomach, and Simone was kind enough to share her breakfast supplies. How'd it go?"

I glanced back at the computer screen. "She's in Florida working in a 7/11 while Rob fixes bikes. It sounds like the white trash nightmare my parents keep presenting it as, but now it seems like maybe it isn't?"

Seth cocked his head to one side in a question.

"Rob is supposed to be the big bad wolf who stole away their princess but Stacy says she dropped out of school because Dad gave her an ultimatum: either their financial support or Rob. She chose Rob. Now she's going to transfer to some local place and Rob's going to support her through college."

"Not quite the bastard he was made out to be, eh?"

I shook my head, "As usual in life, things are a bit more complicated than they're made out to be."

"Are you going to keep in touch with her?" Seth asked.

"I think so. She's my sister, maybe now it's time I actually got to know her."

*

Noy and Tal were already waiting for class to begin, when Dava came in.

"Sorry I'm late, Cale promised me a lift but we had to wait for him to get Jov. He wants to know if you want this back." Dava tossed the sword across the room.

Noy caught it lightly, weighed it in her hand and smiled. Light reflected off the blade shimmering over her delicate nose and high cheek bones. For a second, Noy's hair looked like it had been spun out of gold. Yet again, Tal wished she had the guts to do something with her hair besides tie it back.

"It's yours, Jov," Noy called to her brother and threw it into the air. The sword flickered out of sight.

"Nice! Thanks Noy," Jov called back from the next room.

Dava pulled up a chair next to the worn wooden table. "That was a good one, what did you do to earn it?"

"Bought a homeless guy a sandwich and slipped him the money for a night at the Shelter." Noy explained.

"Are we ready to start now?" The other occupant of the kitchen asked, turning her back to the hissing stovetop.

"Yes, Sima," Dava murmured, straightening her brown skirt linen as she sat and tucking her caramel hair behind her ears.

Sima was seated at the head of the table. Noy moved around to sit to her left with Dava. The three girls took out notebooks and gave their teacher their full attention. Sima wore a long cotton dress with careful tailoring that created an air of flowing fabric even when seated. Around her neck was an amber pendant that complimented the golden tones in the scarf wound around her head. What may have been described as a turban, looked more fittingly like a crown. Her bright blue eyes flickered around the table.

"Before we start, does anyone need to decompress?" Sima asked looking at Tal.

"It's getting harder," Noy began.

Sima turned, acknowledging Noy with a gentle nod. "You've all moved up a level."

"No one said it would be this hard," Noys said her eyes on the table.

Opposite, Tal nodded and Dava shifted in her chair.

"Would it have made a difference?" Sima asked.

Noy looked up, "No. But it might have been nice if someone tried."

"I think Sima did," Dava commented almost under her breath.

Sima smiled and stayed silent.

"The attacks are more frequent. They've started coming in pairs. What does that mean? Every patrol is full on battle. We used to fight like once a month, now it seems like that's all I do." Noy banged the table with frustration.

Dava sighed, "I don't think I have time in the day for any more Service. I'm supposed to be in school. It's all I can do to keep up with the class with all the Service I've been doing recently. And it still doesn't seem to be enough. I'm trying to find an edge. I keep learning the Way but nothing seems to help."

Tal nodded sadly, "Tell me about it. I keep scanning to find the answer, or at least a vague direction. All I come up with are more stupid riddles. Last week was dancing in steel-toe capped boots. Today it was cheese sandwiches! What on earth is that supposed to mean? We should fight the toasters of bread? And my group project is going nowhere fast. Try explaining to Others that you couldn't study because you had to spend the whole evening preventing Evil from taking over the world."

"Couldn't you just tell them you were busy praying?" Noy asked.

"Not if she wants to finish the project, she needs the girl to still be talking to her," Dava quipped.

The joking didn't actually lift the mood around the table.

Noy spoke quietly, "I feel like my Interloper is killing me. It's like I'm at the Interloper World of Adventures amusement park, it's taking me for such a ride. I know you're going to tell me that it's only as strong as I am but right now it feels three times stronger than me. How are we supposed to close the sinkhole if just getting into the Palace is such a struggle?"

Noy looked down again, not wanting to meet her friends concerned expressions.

"I think you're doing well if yours in only three times stronger than you. Mine might as well of taken over totally." A big tear rolled down Tal's cheek. Dava squeezed her hand.

Sima gave everyone a moment to breath. "Your struggles are real. It is very hard. If it was easy we wouldn't be rewarded. Let's break down what's going on here. Firstly, you're in a higher level of the Palace. That means the threats are much more real. Now you're adults, this is the real world. It isn't always nice. Sometimes we lose." Sima sighed, "All too often we lose, or we don't know where the battle lines lie. We don't run the world, we just perform the Service." Sima explained.

"Of course," Noy interrupted, "He Who Knows is the Great Decider. As long as it is His grace that keeps the world turning, then we will perform the Service."

"Exactly, they teach it in pre-school but now you have to live it. Our Service is not dependent on outcome. Through war, and famine and earthquake, our Service will continue. If the whole world burns and crumbles around us until He Who Knows All summons us home, we will Serve. It sounds very poetic when you learn the teaching. It is somewhat more challenging to put it into practice."

Tal licked her lips, "Which we do by just continuing on?" The others looked equally concerned.

"There is no grace in banging your head against a brick wall. This is why we have Guides. We look to those further into the Palace for clarity in our actions. We're going to use our next few sessions to create a specific plan, both for you as a group and as individuals. May it be His Will, we'll all stand ready on the Day of Accounting."

*

A wave of chatter from the dining room signaled that the boys had finished their session with Guide Leib, Sima's husband. Noy and Dava rushed to compare notes with the boys. It was amazing how Guide Leib could bring the same lessons out of troop formations and textual analysis as his wife could from their emotional response to the latest battle.

Tal hung behind, clearing up the mugs of sweet herbal tea they'd hardly touched.

"When you're ready, will you tell me about it?" A soft voice said behind her left shoulder.

Tal turned and looked Sima in the eye. "It's silly. I should just get over it."

Sima poured more tea and motioned for Tal to follow her out onto the small wooden deck off the kitchen. Tal pulled her feet up on the wrought iron chair and hugged her knees close to her chest.

"Sometimes the sillier it seems, the harder it is to conquer. Very often we find the big tragedies easier to deal with. We know what the script is. One of the most potent tools of the Interloper is to tell us that our struggles are worthless."

"It feels worthless. I started studying with this Other. I needed a study partner and she was new and didn't know anyone else. We've been studying together all summer. I did everything they taught us in school we're supposed to, I told her that I'm religious and that I Serve He Who Knows. But she's nice and she's friendly and she asks questions."

Sima sipped her hot tea slowly, "Does she have a name?"

"Chloe."

"What do you like about her?"

Tal looked up suddenly, "I'm embarrassed to say it."

Sima nodded encouragingly.

"She's really cool." Tal said and then laughed at herself. "Ok, I admitted it. I can hardly get into the Palace because I'm all jealous of my cool study partner. She always wears black and white with all of this funky silver jewelry. She's gorgeous but she doesn't seem to know it. She has this aura of coolness that she wears like a cloak around her.

"I never even thought about that world before. I went to school only with People. Last year I came in contact with Others but not the top of their little society. Those ones were untouchable, and I didn't even want to touch them. What are their lives? They go to school, they hang out, they go to wild parties, then they graduate. They get jobs and cars and stuff, eventually they get married have a couple of kids and live in beautiful houses in the suburbs. They drive carpool in a Lexus and have year round tans. If they're lucky they wedge their kids into Ivy League universities and they avoid being traded by their husbands for a newer model. They retire, have a condo in Florida for the winter and then they die while the kids fight over the inheritance."

Tal paused for breath and Sima gave up trying to suppress her smile. "That's a very specific picture of life as an Other."

Tal shrugged, "I watch TV. The point is; I never wanted any of that. We live with He Who Sees. Every day He moves the world for my benefit. My life is full of the pleasure and glory of connection. No Other can touch that. They don't even know that we exist, and even if they do, they don't believe us. What I do counts. If she does nothing with her life, it doesn't upset the cosmic balance. I am called upon to ensure the continuation of creation." Tal's voice reached a crescendo.

Tal shut her eyes, "So why do I wish I was her?"

Tal looked at Sima, her eyes glistened with tears of compassion.

"Because you also live in the world. You are right, we are not the Others. But we're not Angels either. We live in both worlds. We have to be patient with ourselves. Those physical things are very desirable. It is not possible to live only in the Palace. Our Service is performed here in the physical world. It is as essential as the Palace. Our task is to learn how to use it.

When we reach the Throne Room, we will be asked if we enjoyed what the physical world had to offer. We must stay away from the things that create Disconnection. But there are many beautiful parts of the physical world that complement the Palace."

Tal was silent for a moment, "The Courtesans stay away from the physical."

Sima shook her head, "Even the Courtesans do not live only in the Palace. Yes, they avoid much of the wider world to maintain their levels of purity, but have you ever been to one of their houses?"

Tal shook her head.

"They live beautifully. Those that can afford it have marble floors and crystal chandeliers. On the Day of Connection they eat sumptuous banquets. You can't rise in the Palace by denying the needs of your physical self. We have to be kind to ourselves. Sometimes the battle is won by knowing where to give a little. Have you tried just being friends with this girl?"

Tal shrugged, "Why?"

"She asks you questions; maybe she's trying to be your friend. You think she's untouchable, but you don't know what she's thinking."

"I thought we weren't supposed to be friends with Others."

Sima put down her mug. "It's not encouraged, partly to protect our mission and also for the very reasons you describe. It's hard to see their world and still remain focused on ours, but it's not forbidden. If you remember who you are and your purpose in the world, there's no reason why you can't have an Other as a friend."

"Really? But what do I tell her?" Tal sat up straight in her chair.

"The truth. We have nothing to hide."

Tal paused. "But what if she believes me?"

Sima shrugged, "So she believes you. It's not the end of the world. We have to protect ourselves from being generally recognized as the Servants of He Who Knows. If the whole world knew then we could be blamed for events, pressured to change the course of history or, much worse, worshipped. Our power is only to Serve. To keep our Service pure it must be hidden."

"And the best place to hide is out in the open." Tal finished.

Sima smiled, "But one Other knowing the truth isn't going to give the whole game away. You can be friends with Chloe, don't expect her to believe you, but don't be afraid if she does."

Tal looked thoughtful but there was a new sparkle in her eyes.
Chapter 6

Bernie was wearing cut-off jeans and a pale yellow spaghetti strap top. Her bare knees were pulled up to her chest leaning against the coffee shop table. By now I was pretty sure that we were friends, but I got the occasional vibe that I was being watched.

"Today is the big Magog trip?" she asked, laughing at the very idea.

"I'm still not sure where this Magog place is except in the middle of Quebec. Is it really as bad as they all make out? They don't actually lynch English speakers out there, do they?"

She raised her eyebrows and giggled. Then she saw the panic on my face. "No, it's not really that bad. There's no lynching, maybe a little bit of pointed impoliteness. But they're taking Maxine as backup. It's only three days. What are you going to do while they're away?"

"I hope to pass this class. I haven't exactly been giving it my upmost attention. The group presentation is this afternoon. Josh should be here soon." I looked at my watch.

"Are you ready for it?"

"I'd be better prepared if it required a full deposition on the finer details of Seth Wilks, but I think we might scrape through. I feel bad for Josh. He's definitely been carrying me. He's such a nice guy;. I date his brother instead of him, then he saved my ass in a project I was supposed to be doing with him, but instead, I spent most of my time smooching the aforementioned brother. Is he the nicest guy in the world?"

Bernie lent back in her chair, "He is a very nice guy, but you forget that he lives with that brother of his. Josh spent the past year plus watching brother mope around and lick his wounds. Finally, finally Seth is happy. That makes Josh very happy, also apparently he's been enjoying the project."

"Why, it's beyond lame?"

"I think it's your other group member."

I nearly jumped out of my chair, "He's interested in her! I thought to put them together but I didn't think he'd ever go for it."

Bernie cracked up, "I don't think he likes her like that. I think it's more of a sociology experiment. She's one of the People, actually an observant one, right?"

"Yeah?" I didn't follow.

"Josh was saying last night that he never met a practicing one. They're supposed to be the defenders of the universe against Evil, the original superheroes. Before Buffy, before Spiderman, there were the People standing between us and Oblivion?"

"I guess so."

"That's what they believe. It was in my Women in Religion class last semester. I think Josh is fascinated to meet a real one. He keeps waiting to see if she's going to run into a phone booth and change." Bernie's eyes sparkled with amusement.

I felt bad for Tal, "She is a bit weird but she means well."

"I don't think Josh means her any harm. I think he's just fascinated. Anyway after the exam he's not going to talk to her anymore."

"I don't think she spends much time with boys. She seems nice enough though. She never said anything about being a superhero but I hear why she might want to keep quiet about that."

"Do you think she wears her underpants on the outside?" I laughed but I didn't feel it.

"It's not appropriate to talk to her about her undergarments," Josh said, shaking his head as he sat down.

I looked at him seriously, "You haven't been mean to her, have you?"

"No," he looked serious enough, "It's just cool to meet a real one. It took a while for her to warm up, but then she told me all about it. How they serve their God, and how there's this constant battle to keep the world connected. The battles sounded funky, they fight against these animals that represent base emotions and drives in the world. There are all sorts of tactics and weapons they can earn in reward for the service."

"Is it real?" I asked.

Josh started laughing, "Chloe your face is a picture. Get a grip. Of course it's not real. It's a metaphor to justify sexual repression and to get people to give charity. But that is what's so interesting – the faithful totally buy into it. It's amazing to see it in real life."

"Just do me a favor and don't mock her."

He drew a cross on his chest, "Cross my heart and hope to die, I'll be a good boy."

*

Tal was hurrying through the wrought iron gates to campus when she heard Cale calling her name.

She contrived to both stop and continue hurrying.

"My presentation is in five minutes," she said accusingly.

"Sorry, but what's with the Serf boy?" Cale asked.

"Josh? He sounds interested. I haven't really done much Serf recruitment before. I can't tell if he's just stringing me along or if I'm really getting somewhere. But the project's finished. When am I going to speak to him again?"

"Aren't you both friends with this Chloe chick?" Cale asked.

"We are, but should I talk to him with her there too? It feels weird."

Cale shrugged, "There's no reason why not. She's an Other; it's not like she's going to start believing us. It might make it harder for him to hear, but I don't think she's a problem."

Tal didn't like to say that she was hoping to avoid getting into the nitty-gritty of her supposed religion with Chloe. Being friends with an Other wasn't worth losing one of the People to the Palace. They needed every warrior they could get.

Tal jumped from one foot to the other, "Ok, I'll see what I can do. But I won't get very far with either of them if I'm late for the presentation."

*

The humid blanket of Montreal summer had never felt so sweet.

"It's over." I moaned.

"There is still the exam," Tal reminded me.

"It's multiple choice, so I don't care. At the very least I'll answer C for everything."

Josh chuckled, "I think they actually design the exams so that trick doesn't work. But I don't think we have too much to be worried about. That was definitely the worst part. Did you see those two Asian kids in the third row playing footsie?"

"Yeah, they were bordering on not appropriate for public display." I rolled my eyes, "But that big guy in the back picking his nose was worse."

"I didn't even see that! I was too distracted. What about you, Tal, what was the worst bit?" Josh looked at her expectantly.

She looked around for a minute. "At one point the Prof looked up from the Kindle, he thought we couldn't see and actually listened intently. Then I thought we were going to fail."

"Oh my goodness, you're right. I nearly forgot what I was saying." Now it was over, I felt unbelievably warm towards both of them. "Do you want to go and get coffee or something now? Unless anyone's in a hurry to go study for the exam."

Josh nodded, we both looked at Tal. She was wavering.

"Come on Tal," Josh said, "I actually wanted to continue that discussion we were having the other day." I shot Josh a look but it seemed to be the deal clincher for Tal.

Still slightly uncertain, she said, "I was actually going to meet some friends, maybe they could tag along."

"Sure," Josh said warmly.

I elbowed him sharply as we started walking. He responded with a look of total innocence. I was not fooled for a second.

While Tal was calling her friends to tell them to join us, Josh said quietly, "Got something better to do?"

"No," I said sharply.

He raised his eyebrows. I knew what he was talking about.

"The band's rehearsing all afternoon. Seth and I have a date later tonight."

"I'll remember to wear earplugs." He couldn't have wedged more sarcasm into his voice.

"Good, I wouldn't want to feel inhibited." I shot back. I grabbed his hand pulling him back as we were about to enter the Second Cup opposite campus, "Now, Josh Wilks, you promised. I don't know what you've got up your sleeve letting her friends tag along but you'd better behave."

"I promised," came his mock indignant reply, as he pushed past me into the building.

We got drinks and settled ourselves into a table next to the giant windows. Tal pulled over a few chairs ready for her friends.

"Do you think we actually got a good grade?" Tal asked me as I sipped my Frappucino.

Josh shrugged, "Our report was good. And while our presentation did not set worlds on fire, the PowerPoint slides did match our topic and we did all speak in the English language."

"I felt bad for the Iranian guy," I interjected, "I don't think he realized there was going to be an oral presentation."

"Speaking of oral presentations, not that I want to put you on the spot, Tal but you did promise to explain this whole Interloper thing to me."

Tal smiled and licked her lips. Then she looked at me.

I shrugged, "I'd actually be quite interested in hearing. I don't know that much about your faith. You don't eat bugs right?"

"No, we don't eat bugs. There is a little bit more to it than that. I don't mind telling you if you're interested." She sounded self-effacing but she looked very eager.

Just as she was about to start, her friends arrived. I nearly fell off my chair. They were guys. I thought she didn't hang out with guys? Apparently this chick has hidden depths.

"Chloe and Josh, this is Cale and Jov." They both wore short sleeved button down shirts, brown loafers and baseball caps. Cale was a redhead in a pale green shirt and NYC cap. Jov was blond in a brown and white checked shirt with Lakers cap. Cale pulled up another chair, so that they both sat between Tal and Josh.

Tal beamed, "Josh was just asking me about the People."

Cale and Jov looked at each other. "We're cool," Cale said.

"Very," Jov added. I got the impression these two were a double act.

"Why?" I asked without thinking.

"We fight Evil, Oblivion in fact," Cale said calmly.

"Like Superman, but with the underpants on the inside." Jov explained.

I guess that answers Bernie's question.

"There aren't so many phone booths around these days. I guess the advent of the cell phone really messed things up for you guys." Josh's face was serious but his eyes danced.

"It's not such a physical change. It's more like the Matrix." Jov looked pleased with himself. Tal looked like she might fall off her chair but she played it cool.

Josh raised his eyebrows slightly but waited for the explanation.

"In the Matrix, their bodies are being used as giant batteries while their minds are hooked into the Matrix, right?"

We all nodded.

"But Neo and the other resistance fighters have full use of their bodies, but they can jack their minds into the Matrix?"

We all nod again.

"When Neo really gets good, at the end of the first movie, which was the best in my opinion, then he sees the Matrix for what it is, a bunch of binary code. Then he can manipulate the Matrix by changing the code."

"It's a classic movie," Josh said.

Jov nodded, "It can seem dated because so many people copied it afterwards, but when it came out it was shear genius."

"What's this got to do with you guys?" I wasn't sure if I was the only one missing the point. Josh smirked at me, Tal looked relieved and I realized I wasn't.

Jov spread out his hands. "Like this, all humans live in the physical world, like 'real' world in the Matrix. The People, we also live in the Palace. You can think of it like the Matrix. The difference is that the Matrix is a construct. The Palace is real, it just exists on a different spiritual frequency. The People, like Neo are able to be in both."

"So your bodies stay here but your minds are in two places?" Josh asked.

Cale nodded. Tal beamed, apparently Jov had scored.

"What's the binary code part?" Josh was thinking hard.

"I guess He Who Knows," Jov said, "but in the movie only the Matrix is made out of the binary code. In reality everything is made out of Him."

"I thought it was made out of quarks and neutrons?" Josh smiled.

"Which are parts of He Who Knows," Cale replied, nonplussed.

We were all quiet for a moment. I tried to get the last bit of my drink out without slurping the straw. I was unsuccessful. I gave up, lest I break anyone's concentration.

Finally Josh said, "And this Interloper thing is like your conscience?"

Jov cocked his head to one side, "It's more like being possessed by an alien."

"Like in The Host?" I asked quickly.

Jov looked at me.

Tal said to him, "It's a book by Stephanie Meyer, the one who wrote Twilight."

"That vampire thing?" Tal and I both nodded. "With the kissing?" We nodded again.

"All the blogs said Buffy was better."

I shrugged, "Buffy was in a league of its own." Jov nodded and seemed to relax.

"She's actually right," Tal said. "It is like in The Host." Jov looked like he was getting agitated but Tal kept going.

"In The Host, the aliens get implanted into the brains of humans. Then the aliens take control of the body. But when they implant the alien in the main character, the human mind doesn't go away, and there are two minds in the one body each acting independently. They struggle to take control of the body."

"Really? It actually sounds cool, you have the book?" Tal nodded.

"Does it have much kissing?" Jov was still not totally convinced.

"Some."

Cale looked from me to Josh, "The Interloper is a force inside us. It's like another voice in your head. It's different from a conscience because your conscience is part of you, you have some degree of control over it. The Interloper is an outside force whose only purpose is to drive us off the path. We have to learn when it's us thinking and when it's the Interloper. It takes a lot of practice."

"What happens if you get it wrong?" I had this funny feeling that Josh was beginning to take them seriously.

"In the short term, it damages your standing in the Palace. In the long term, it can take over completely. Some People are so totally taken over by their Interloper that they cease to function in the Palace."

"Like the Cyborgs in Doctor Who, inside is a person but it's trapped inside a machine." Jov added.

"Do they know?" Josh looked thoughtful.

"No," Tal shook her head.

"Can they get out?" The three exchanged a glance.

"Yes," Cale answered. "They can. If they can be shown the Palace then they can learn to overcome the Interloper. The good news is that their Interlopers are weak. They can be easily overcome."

"Then it's plain sailing?"

Cale smirked, "Not exactly because the Interloper is as strong as you are. As soon as you get stronger so does it."

"How do you defeat it?"

"By getting better. By always being one step ahead."

"Your lives are just one big battle?" I asked. It didn't sound like that much fun.

Tal laughed, "Not all the time. Once a week on the Day of Connection, we spend the day in the ballroom with He Who Knows All, and Angels come to our house."

"Angels?" Josh's eyes were laughing again.

"Angels accompany us home from the House of Worship to our homes where the Palace descends to meet us."

"Also, the food's good," Tal added.

Just then Cale's phone beeped.

"Dror wants us to pick up Noy on the way to the old age home."

"I guess we should be going." Tal started to collect her things. She looked up suddenly, "Do either of you want to come? We're going to sing in the old age home. It really cheers up the elderly to see young people."

"I actually have to be getting home," Josh looked like he'd invent root canal surgery if it meant getting out of seeing the elderly.

To my surprise, and Josh's, I heard myself say, "I could come. I don't have to be home till later." I thought Josh's eyeballs were going to pop out of his head.

"It might do me some good to leave the ten square blocks of downtown sometime," I explained. Tal looked from Cale to Josh. "Great, the more the merrier." She said although she didn't sound overly enthusiastic.

With a slightly sheepish smile to Josh, I followed them down the street to Cale's car.

I sat in the back with Tal.

"So, Jov, you guys are like the Scoobies? Or the season seven finale when all the Slayers are activated and fighting the forces of darkness." I asked as Cale pulled away from the curb.

Simultaneously, Jov said, "The Slayers." Tal said, "Do you have to encourage him?"

It's a good thing Jov couldn't see the smirk on my face as I replied. "Buffy was a classic show."

"It's up there with the original Star Trek and Doctor Who," Jov said seriously.

I was enjoying myself, "There was hardly an off episode, if you forgive that whole 'Riley' thing." I could see Jov shaking his head in disgust. "He only ever had one good line." I went on.

"'You were going to nuzzle them to death?" Jov thoughtfully provided.

Tal screwed up her eyes and rubbed her temples.

"Ok, I'll stop" I said quietly. "Do you guys often hang out with the oldies?"

Tal said, "About once a week, we're into community service."

"It restocks our ammunition supplies," Jov added.

Cale took his eyes off the road to give Jov a look. "Chloe, you're not one of the People are you?" Cale asked loudly.

"Nope, just an innocent bystander," I answered cheerfully. I couldn't see Jov's face but he was quiet for the rest of the trip. Cale flicked on a CD. I didn't recognize the band, then I remembered Tal said they had their own music. It had nice mellow undertones. The windows were down and I was quite enjoying seeing the city pass by.

"What neighborhood is this?" I asked as the city blocks turned to big private houses.

"Westmount," Tal said, "It's where the rich English speakers live. The rich French speakers live in Outremont."

"It's nice. Where do you guys live?"

"Snowdon. It's not as fancy, mainly duplexes."

"That's where there are two houses on top of each other? Why do they do that here?"

"I have no idea. Saves space? You'll see soon. We have to stop at my place to pick up my guitar."

I was surprised, "You play guitar? I thought you'd be more the violin type." Then I regretted it. I hoped she didn't think I thought she was a nerd, which I did, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Tal didn't seem to care. Could be she was used to people thinking she was a nerd. "I actually also play violin and piano but guitar works better for a sing-along."

We got on and off some sort of express way.

"This is Snowdon," Tal said in tour guide mode.

"Why's it called that?"

"It's by the Snowdon metro stop."

We seemed to be going around in circles. I was sure we'd just passed that dry cleaners. Across the street I saw a store selling Indian food.

Oh, I wonder if Seth would like real, authentic spices? Yesterday he was complaining that the saffron he's got isn't much good. I think saffron is the yellow stuff. I wonder if I could ever get here again? I think we're actually only one block away from the Metro stop.

It was beginning to get ridiculous, the dry cleaners was back on the other side of the road.

"Can't you guys just erase my memory, instead of driving in circles if you don't want me to know where you live?" I asked.

Tal giggled, "I don't actually mind you knowing where I live. If we had more time I'd even invite you in. There's a one-way system. Montreal is famous for it. Some streets only go up and others only go down and you can't ever turn left. This is actually the fastest way to get to my house."

"The French have a lot to answer for," I said under my breath again. Tal raised her eyebrows conspiratorially.

Finally we pulled up outside a house opposite a park. Tal jumped out and ran up the stairs to the upper floor.

As she disappeared inside the building, I asked Jov, "Do you guys have superpowers?"

I saw Jov open his mouth, look at Cale, then say, "No."

Apparently the fun was over. Were they embarrassed? Tal seemed happy to talk to Josh. I hope I didn't make them feel bad. It was fun talking to Jov. He's a much less camp version of Jared.

Tal was taking a while, or just now things felt tense. I tried a different topic, "Jov, do you ever read Terry Pratchett?"

He turned to look at me, "No, who is that?"

I looked at him in real horror, "Jov, you think you're a sci-fi, fantasy buff and you've never read Terry? Terry Pratchett is the genius who created the Discworld series."

His face was still blank.

"You have to read Terry," I said emphatically, "In Witches Abroad, he explores this whole idea about narrative being one of the driving forces behind history. The poor servant girl will marry the Prince, and once the hero has found true love he must get back to her because narrative convention is on his side."

His eyes lit up, "Terry Pratchett?"

I nodded, "He's British, but you can handle it if you watch Doctor Who. I'm sorry I didn't bring any up to school with me or I'd lend you. But they should be easy to get hold of."

Tal slid back into the car. "Sorry, I had to stop to help Mom for a second. Did I miss anything?"

"Chloe here is suggesting that Jov try reading books instead of watching TV all the time," Cale snickered.

Tal smirked back, "Many of us have tried. But more power to you Chloe if you succeed."

In what now seemed like a remarkably direct route, we stopped outside another duplex a few blocks over and picked up slight girl with dark curly hair pulled back with a head band. She looked surprised to see me.

"Noy, this is Chloe, my study partner," Tal explained as she slid over to make room in the back. On the way to the old age home, they talked about what songs to sing. I'd never heard of any of them.

"I'm not sure if I know those ones, what should I do?" I asked after a while.

Noy looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time.

"It's actually a good idea if someone sits with the elderly and encourages them to join in." Tal seemed much more eager for me to participate than the others.

The old age home was a nondescript red brick building that looked suspiciously like the crematorium down the road from my Uncle Fred's. I scanned the previous entries as we signed the guest book. It seemed the average visit was 35 minutes or less. Old Age homes are basically where you park your elderly relatives until you can cash in, kind of like a savings bond.

"I'll see if I can find Marian," Tal said, as we were buzzed in.

Marian was in the middle of bullying reluctant participants into their seat. She was middle-aged, and the type that thinks if they show enough cleavage you will somehow overlook the other 200-plus pounds of them. While Tal and her friends took what seemed to be their usual places, I tried to lurk while stuck in the middle of the open room. Thankfully Tal rescued me, "It's best if you sit somewhere in the middle and clap enthusiastically."

I glanced around at the ten or so crumpled specimens dotted around the room that could have seated fifty. "Will it help?"

Tal smiled, "I know it looks a bit lame now, but it's really quite nice once we get going."

I figured I couldn't actually leave until it was over so I sat next to a wizened old lady who seemed all cardigan. It happens that I actually like the elderly. Grandma Mary's one of my favorite people and we used to hang out with her sister, Aunt Theresa. They'd forget we were there and start telling all these stories about the village scandals back in Mexico. Some of them were pretty X-rated. I smiled at the lady next to me.

"Do you come for the singing every week?" I asked in a tone I hoped was loud enough for her to hear without being disrespectful.

My companion nodded, "When you reach my age, dear, the closest you can get to the Service is letting other's perform it for you." She chuckled.

"They seem quite eager to come," I ventured.

"But why are you here, lovely?" She looked at me like she actually saw inside to my soul. Maybe she did. Before I could find out, Marian clapped her hands loudly to call the room to order. It was possible she had been a kindergarten teacher in her previous job.

"Aren't we lucky? Today our friends Tal, Cale and Jov are back and their joined by two new friends Noy and Chloe. I'm sure we're all going to have a wonderful time."

The last sentence seemed more threat than promise. Tal began playing. Cale accompanied her at a piano in the corner. Jov and Noy were sitting on chairs next to Tal. Tal and Jov sang the main line with Noy harmonizing. It wasn't really the sort of song you clap along to. This was not the right crowd to pretend to wave a cigarette lighter so I just sat still. I noticed most of the residents seemed to be singing along. Only Marian and I were silent. The old lady next to me eyed me suspiciously.

The air seemed to be moving. The melody was sweet, a little folksy. It was almost familiar, like a lullaby from my childhood. At first I thought my body was swaying involuntarily to the beat, but then I realized I was sitting still. It really was the air moving or something like that. I looked at Tal. I'm not sure she was still in the room. Was this a song or a prayer?

It ended before I got an answer and we moved to a more conventional seeming number with a lively beat. I did my part and clapped along enthusiastically. Marian beamed and some of the residents even joined in. They did five songs before they reached what was obviously the wind-down number. Instinctively I shut my eyes as I felt the same movement. When it ended I nearly forgot to open them. When I did the old lady was looking at me.

"My name is Mrs. Hols, I'll see you next week," she said as an aide came to help her back to her room.

It was only when she'd made her laborious way out of the lounge that I thought to tell her I wouldn't be there next week.

"Wasn't that nice?" Tal bounded over. I wasn't used to seeing her quite so perky.

"It really was," I sounded more surprised than I intended to.

"Do you need a ride back downtown?" Cale asked.

"But you live up here, I don't want to take you out of your way."

"If we brought you up, the least we can do is take you back down," he replied.

I shook my head, "No, really, it's fine. I wouldn't mind a lift to the nearest metro station, though." I was glad he didn't insist. I wanted a bit of time to clear my head before I went over to Seth's.

*

Noy pulled the passenger door shut.

"Why on earth did you bring the Other with you?"

Tal blushed.

"We didn't really have a choice," Cale answered. "We invited Josh, the Serf who's been showing an interest, and she was there. She offered to come and we couldn't exactly say 'No, we only wanted him because he can fight in the Palace and you can't.' So we had to let her come."

"I don't think it did any actual harm," Jov said thoughtfully. "If she wants to help fight the forces of Evil, why shouldn't she?"

"Because no one is supposed to know that's what we're doing, dumbass." Noy rolled her eyes at her brother.

"It's not like we handed her a sword," Jov countered. "She sat at the back and clapped along. If we hadn't brought her, Josh would have known something was up and we'd never get past his Interloper."

"Just don't let it happen again."
Chapter 7

As I walked down the street I saw Seth sitting on the long wrought iron steps outside his house.

"Did you get locked out?" I called up.

"I'm waiting for my true love," he called back.

I looked around, "Did she come yet?"

He came down the steps and stopped right in front of me. His stare was twice as heavy because he didn't reach out to touch me as he usually would. His eyes held mine and I felt the now familiar feeling of drowning and being saved simultaneously.

Without breaking his gaze, in his low husky voice, he said, "I waited many lifetimes but then she came. When she came, I discovered that the sun had never before shone, no water had ever nourished my parched lips and no love had ever touched my heart. When she came, I knew it would be forever."

I didn't dare speak. I couldn't move lest I break the spell he wove. We stood there, right in the street, not touching, just feeling, for an eternity, until he smiled. He bit his lip and looked down slightly.

"I know it's only three days," he admitted sheepishly, "but I wanted to be sure you knew where I stood."

"I'm glad you clarified because I was thinking of running off with Josh in your absence, but now I guess I'll stick around." I winked.

He pulled his arms around me and kissed me with more passion than was really polite in the venue. I kissed him back.

"Come, let's go for pizza," he said pulling away as some random teenage boys across the street started wolf whistling. "Do you want to leave your bag inside?" He asked turning back and reaching out his hand.

I started to fish out my wallet.

Seth put up one hand, "I think the pizza can be on me."

I shrugged and handed him the bag. He bounded up the steps and put it just inside the front door. In a second he was back beside me, his hand in mine.

"We can go to the pizza place I was telling you about, with the thin crust and just enough cheese." He said as he started to walk.

I pulled him back. He wheeled around and looked at me, concerned.

I hesitated, shut my eyes then looked into his. "I need to say something right now. I don't just want to let it go...I think I love you. It scares the crap out of me. I have to stop myself from wondering how on earth I deserve anything so beautiful, so wonderful. I keep waiting for one of us to wake up. And then you don't, and I don't, and I'm here with you."

Now it was his turn to look totally petrified. In a voice hardly audible, he whispered, "You make me want to be a better man."

We'd run out of words, and we were still standing in the street. The boys across the street were waiting for a second showing. They were disappointed. By silent mutual agreement, we started walking.

"Life is made up of moments, when you touch something greater than you... " Seth began. I nodded.

He smiled half a smile, "The problem is that the moments are held together with regular life. It seems ridiculous to touch infinity and then say, 'So how was the presentation?' "

I laughed, "I know what you mean. When magic is exists, how do you live in the real world?"

"In the absence of an answer, how was the presentation?"

"It was pretty good. The professor stayed awake. We all remembered to say what we had prepared, our report was cohesive. It's a summer survey course and I don't think this prof is the type to mark more strictly in the summer just to make a point. Overall it should be good for an A."

"That'll please your parents." He did my favorite thing where he rubbed the inside of my palm with his thumb. I was too blissed out to respond.

"What's your Dad like?" he asked with a suddenness that must have been premeditated.

"Balding," I answered, panicked. "Why do you ask?"

"I never hear much about him. Stacy, I've heard all about, Spike, I'm thinking of friending on Facebook. I don't know much about your mother, but I think I know nothing about your father."

"He's Latino."

Seth nodded, "And?"

"Balding?"

Another nod. I was going to have to do better.

"His parents came from Mexico before he was born. He grew up in Chicago in a mixed neighborhood. He went to college and studied Chemical Engineering. He never had much Latino identity and then he married my Mom. They lived in Philly for a while. They moved to El Paso when he was offered this job. Mom likes the sun and El Paso has plenty of it. My great-Aunt Theresa was already living there, although I think that was a count against El Paso in Dad's eyes. After a while Grandma Mary moved out there too.

"He's not really the henpecking type, and he doesn't get overly involved in our choices as long as we stick within a certain range. As long as we didn't spend too much, he was never down our backs about what clothes we wore or what afterschool activities we went to. He worked hard to make himself successful as the child of immigrants, so he thinks it's important to know the value of money but he never begrudged us anything."

"He's a Democrat?"

I stopped walking to start laughing, "Dear God, no. What makes you say that?'

"I thought he'd be pro-immigration rights."

I laughed some more. "He's a card-carrying Republican. He says there are too many Spics in American already. If his parents managed to immigrate legally, why can't the rest of them? A country has a right to control immigration. We can't just open the doors and let everyone in or else there will be no jobs and no space left."

"He doesn't think that his family got a chance at a better life so others should also get that chance?"

"No," I said carefully, "and in my family that is dangerous talk. Cousin Martin is still an outcast for making a similar suggestion one Thanksgiving."

"I thought your father was easygoing?"

"I didn't say he was easygoing, I said he didn't get involved in the ways of ladies. Two totally different things. He can be quite intense about certain things."

"Does this mean I'm in for a hard time? My family and I are fervent Democrats. There are rumors that some of them might even be a little 'pink.' "

I considered the issue. "I would just avoid all political discussions, especially issues of immigration, gun control or gay marriage, if you want to be allowed continued access to his daughter."

"Next you're going to tell me he's a member of the NRA?" Seth suppressed a giggle.

"I'm from Texas, the NRA is no laughing matter 'Mr. Born-and-bred in Boston'. He's not actually a member because Mom would have a fit if he brought home a gun, but he is a staunch supporter. All American's should be able to determine their own future."

"But not the ones that were brought here illegally by their parents?"

"Didn't I just mention the 'some things should not be referred to if you want to see his daughter' part of his approach to politics?" My tone was a little sharp.

We'd been walking for a while and I was getting rather hungry. It had been a good few hours since the iced coffee with Josh and Tal. I wasn't really in the mood for debating my father's eccentricities.

"One false move and I'm out the door?" Seth asked, apparently not reading my mood. I sighed, I didn't want to let my hunger fuel a stupid argument about nothing.

"You don't have any tattoos, you don't ride a motor bike, you plan to earn a living in a respectable middle class profession and you haven't been the catalyst for his daughter dropping out of an Ivy League college. Even as a Democrat, you'll probably be okay."

Seth chuckled, "Poor Rob. I kind of feel bad for a guy."

Just then we reached the famous pizza place before I had to respond. It was tiny, with one small counter that hardly had room for the two guys behind it. There were two small tables outside. We stopped at the entrance.

"Shall we just get one big pie? Do you have a topping preference?"

"Right now I could eat just about anything."

He looked up quickly, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so hungry. Here, you sit down and I'll get the house special."

In one minute he was back with a slice of pizza and a can of Diet Coke.

"The house specialty is pepperoni?" I asked.

"No the house special is in the oven, but I didn't want you wasting away in the meantime." He sat down next to me. "If that slice revives you enough, I thought we might get the pie to take away."

"Sure."

It didn't take long, and I did feel much better after I'd eaten something. Seth carried the pizza box and a shopping bag of extras. I waited for him to start walking down the street, but to my surprise he walked over to the curb and hailed a cab.

I looked at him.

"Where are we going?"

"My favorite Montreal spot."

I got in the car. We drove out of the downtown area, past the neighborhood I now knew to be Westmount and headed up. Suddenly, the buildings disappeared and we headed through a park.

"The mountain?" I asked.

"Have you been here before?" he smiled.

"Only once for about five minutes. The second day I got here I took one of those tourist buses around the Island so I could say I'd seen all of the famous things. We drove through the mountain. Has anyone around here noticed that it's really just a big hill?"

Seth put his finger to his lips, "Shhh, someone might hear you. Dissing the mountain is a hanging offense around here."

We got out at a parking lot and I took the bag from Seth so we could walk hand in hand. We sat down at one of the many benches by the man-made lake. The place was full of bikers, roller-bladers, people strolling by, and families with their kids. Montrealers really know how to take advantage of the outdoors. The lake was entirely ringed by park benches so even with the heavy traffic it was easy to find a free one. Out of the shopping bag Seth pulled out a Diet Coke, a regular coke for him, a bag of French fries and a bundle of foil that proved to hold garlic bread. He spread it all out on the bench between us.

"No salad?" I joked.

"I don't do lettuce," Seth replied.

On my third slice of pizza, I realized Seth was watching me eat. "Why are you so hungry? Don't tell me you need constant attention to keep yourself well nourished."

I shook my head. "I meant to get something to eat after the presentation but then Josh invited Tal to join us at Second Cup and I forgot to pick up a sandwich because I was too busy monitoring his behavior. When I left her, I came straight to you so I kind of skipped the lunch part of the day."

"Josh got home a while ago."

"I know, I was hanging out with Tal and her friends."

Seth arched one perfect eyebrow.

"They went to play music at an old age home and I went with them. I actually quite like the elderly. When I was younger, one of my favorite activities was hanging out with my great-aunt Theresa and listening to her tell all these off-color jokes in Spanish."

"She was the family black sheep, I take it?"

I shook my head as I remembered Aunt Theresa, "She was black enough for a whole flock. Once when Mom and Dad were arguing about Stacy, I heard Mom suggest she took after Aunt Theresa, I have never heard my father go so berserk. I don't think Mom's made that mistake again."

"Did Josh enjoy himself with this Tal character?" Seth pushed the last slice of pizza towards me.

"At least he behaved himself. They seemed quite happy to tell him about their religion. I've never really got much out of her before. I could tell that Josh was finding the whole thing very amusing, but I don't think they noticed. It doesn't seem to be a very easy life. Every move they make seems to be dedicated to their god."

Now that I'd finished eating, Seth lit a cigarette. I was glad to be sitting upwind. It would be bad enough kissing him later. He looked out at the orange sun light flickering on the water. "It's an interesting faith. If they get the balance right then their whole life becomes a form of meditation. It's like reaching some sort of Zen state where every action propels them greater connection. They call it ascending through the Palace. The goal is to reach some sort of permanent god-consciousness, they say they've reached the Throne Room. But reaching the Throne Room is also linked to their afterlife, they earn a seat at the Great Banquet."

I was about to ask Seth when he studied it, but then I remembered that he did take a bunch of comparative religion courses as part of his philosophy major, and he has that uncanny ability to sound like an expert on every topic.

"They're supposed to be some type of warrior monks and still live in the real world?" I was having a hard time understanding how anyone could live with such pressure.

We stood and started walking. Seth slipped his arm around me. "That's the point. They say that He Who Knows is in the world. The physical world's purpose is to be a vehicle to Him. The separation between the real world and He Who Knows is only an illusion. You move through the Palace until you see that it is all one."

"Until you can see the binary code," I said under my breath. Slightly louder, I asked, "If it's such a cool religion, how come more people don't know about it?"

Seth laughed, "Because most people don't really want to give their lives in the service of any deity. We all think that the religious people have more meaning in their lives, but we're probably having more fun."

Seth seemed to know where he was going as we wandered along a tree lined path. The trees parted and we came out to a lookout point. From there I could see the whole city, the Lawrence River and in the distance a geographical formation more deserving of the title mountain. Seth pulled me closer as I drank in the splendor before me, "It's hard enough having to get through every day without fighting mythical battles or denying yourself worldly pleasures."

The sun was beginning to set, there was a cool breeze and my gorgeous boyfriend was holding me tight. Right then I didn't want to do without any earthly pleasures either.

I was trying not to think of it as 'the first day without Seth.' With the exam on Monday, I wanted to get all my studying done on Friday so I could enjoy the weekend. Armed with serious snack, I sat down to study.

Two chocolate bars, three bags of chips and two bottles of Diet Coke later, I put down my pen after writing notes on the last PowerPoint slide.

Now what? Seth's not back until late Sunday night. Tomorrow I'm meeting Bernie for facials and chick flicks. Sunday, what's left of the gang is doing Second Cup and the Tams. I feel like having an adventure.

I packed up my things and headed out to nowhere in particular. With a spring in my step, I walked down to the nearest Metro stop. As I scanned the Metro map to pick a destination, I had a brain wave.

Snowdon, I'll take the Metro and then go the Indian food store. I'm sure I can find it again. We only passed it about five times. I definitely saw a café in the area. I'll buy Seth a bunch of authentic spices. He'll be pleased and it'll be a cute 'I missed you' present without being cheesy or overly needy.

As I came out back into the sunlight at street level, I was relieved to see that I did know basically where to go. I turned right and headed down towards the flyover that crossed the freeway. After getting confused and crossing the flyover twice, I finally made it to Bombay Bounty.

Carrying a package containing a bunch of things I'd never heard of, but the sales assistant assured me were essential, I walked back towards to the station. I found a café that had big windows so I could sit right by the window and pretend I was outside while still benefiting from the AC.

I hadn't even cracked open the book when my phone rang.

"Hi, I thought you were in non-stop band mode all day." I beamed, then blushed because for sure Seth could hear the smile in my voice.

"I know but I came outside for a cigarette." I could hear him smiling back.

"They don't let you smoke inside? Some rock venue."

He chuckled, "Ok, you caught me. I came outside to call my girl but it's not so good for my rep to say 'excuse me guys while I go check in with my lady friend.' So instead I tell them I'm going outside for a smoke and they have the decency not to say, 'But mate, you could smoke in here.'"

"Sorry to blow your cover."

"You're forgiven. How are you? How's the cram-fest?"

"I finished," I said proudly, "Now I'm on an adventure."

"Climbing mountains? Wrestling tigers?"

"Nope. I left the student ghetto and went somewhere else... alone."

"What induced such madness?" He was still smiling.

"I thought it time to broaden my horizons slightly. Also, everyone I know is busy or out of town. I decided to be a real Montrealer and go out. Later I might take a walk."

I could just picture Seth nodding in agreement, "Sounds like a good plan. Where'd you go?"

"Snowdon. I didn't want to do anything crazy like leave the Island."

"You're very wise. But we really should make a trip up to Ethan's parent's place before school starts. The mountains are beautiful. There are some great places around the lake where you can go swimming or canoeing."

I stirred my drink slowly, "It sounds nice. I hear Canada has a lot of landscape."

"I can't promise you any moose, maybe some geese. If we go up now, then when we go back in a month or two when the leaves are turning, it'll be even more impressive. Actually the ride to Boston is stunning in the fall. We could do that." There was some weird undertone to his voice. Why is he planning random trips to see fall leaves? Suddenly the penny dropped.

"You want me to go to Boston with you to meet your parents?" There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"I was thinking we could," he said very carefully.

"Sure." I kept my tone as light as possible.

"Just like that?"

I shut my eyes and let an image hang there for half a second, not long enough for me to even admit to myself the depth of my certainty.

"Yep, just like that. Look Seth, I don't think you're a liar. You made it fairly clear where you stand. We keep inching towards this, and then walking away from it. As I see it, it seems you're pretty sure that I'm the one. I'm totally sure that you're it. That's big and fairly scary. And I'm quite happy for us to continue not to talk about it because it's a bit more comfortable that way, but I'm just not freaked out that you want me to meet your parents. I might freak out when it actually comes to it, but I'm okay with the general concept."

We both let my words sink in.

"You know those times when it's guaranteed that five minutes after you hang up you'll think of some smooth line you should have used, and kick yourself?"

I smirked, "Totally."

"Can I call you back when I come up with the good line? Because right now the best I've got is 'I love you.' "

My heart froze in my chest and the rest of me melted into the Formica chair. "That's a good line," I whispered. "I love you too."

His breathing was heavy. My heart started again and it seemed to be trying to break out of my chest.

Seth sighed, "Isn't it funny how even the good things in life take a bit of getting used to?"

"I know you think it will be easy but in real life you're hoping that you're not making a fool of yourself and wishing you'd brushed your teeth."

He laughed, then I heard someone call him. "Shoot, I gotta go. I imagine we can finish this later."

"For the rest of our lives. I hope the gig goes well."

"Yeah, whatever. It'll be alright. I'll call you later?"

"You can call anytime, even if it's late."

"Sure, bye love."

I held the phone in my hand long after he'd hung up. He loves me. Seth loves me. He said it. Ok, so he pretty much told me that yesterday. But it's different to hear him say the words. Maybe I should have bought him more saffron.

Just as my heart rate was beginning to steady, the phone rang again. Without looking at the caller ID, I picked up.

"Hi!" It was a very enthusiastic hi.

"I'm not Seth," Spike deadpanned. "Unless there's something you've been waiting to tell me, I don't think you really are that pleased to hear from me."

I cringed, "Sorry, Spike. I just hung up on a call with him. Are you on a break?"

"No, I don't work Friday's, but you don't have to remember that."

I cringed again, once I would have remembered.

"To what do I owe the afternoon call?" I quickly deflected my guilt.

"I was actually concerned about your well being. In the absence of Mr. Wonderful, I wanted to check that you hadn't resorted to reading Twilight fanfic."

I laughed, "I'm not even within spitting distance of my computer."

"You do have an iPhone."

"I'm talking to you on it."

"Are you trying to avoid the question?" Spike would make a great lawyer.

"There is no fanfic being read. Right now I'm sitting in a coffee shop in some random neighborhood of Montreal that I came to so I could broaden my horizons by seeing new parts of the city. I was planning on reading a book and enjoying my iced coffee before you interrupted with accusations of pining."

"You go girl," her tone was softer; apparently my anger had put her at ease.

"And I've never read Twilight fanfic," I added.

"I just thought Seth is so much like Edward that..."

"Seth is not like Edward," I jumped in. "He's not dead."

"He is too good to be true," she shot back.

I sighed, "Yeah. What's up with that?"

"Yesterday he promised you his undying love."

"We actually talked about it today."

"Is he a lesbian?" Spike yelled, "You people spend an awful lot of time talking about the dynamics of your relationship. If Seth is really a code name for Stephanie would you just come out and tell me, because it would make a lot more sense."

When I stopped laughing, I said, "Seth is a not a lesbian. He's a real male, man, he was born one."

"That answers my next question."

"Go friend him on Facebook and you can see for yourself. He was joking the other day that he wanted to friend you, he'd find it funny if you did it first."

"I might just do that. But can we be serious for a minute? He's beyond hot and the coolest guy that ever lived, I'm down with that. You're much better looking than you give yourself credit for and you are cool. Look who your friends are. What I'm having trouble with is this whole soul mates thing. Lot of girls fall head over heels for some guy and start thinking he's their eternal destiny. But it's just not your style. What's up with that?"

I thought for a minute before I answered her, "It's probably the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me, but I think he might actually be my soul mate."

She thought about it, "But really for real?"

"I told you it was weird. Look, you're the one who told me to go for it in the beginning."

"Which was sound advice. I just want to make sure you're okay."

Spike's a good friend.

"I'm okay. He's funny, deep without being annoying, he really wants to spend time with me, he listens to what I say, we could spend hours talking to each other. I think if I spent the rest of my life hanging with him I'd still have stuff to say. When I'm with him the whole world feels complete, but not in an unhealthy he-heals–all-my-wounds sort of way, in a real he'll stand by me while I work through all my own shit way. Whatever I become, he'll be there."

Spike said nothing.

I took a deep breath, "It scares me senseless. I thought I'd go to college, date a few guys, graduate, get a job, live with someone, if it didn't work out I'd live with someone else then when I'm thirty marry whoever I happened to be with."

"The usual," Spike added.

"Exactly, instead it's like the rest of my life turned up before I ready for it. I'm all busy being cookie dough and here's my future baked and ready for the taking. This is the best thing that's ever happened, that probably will ever happen, to me and all I can think is holy crap, now what?"

"It is huge."

"I almost wish I was making it up," I confessed, "because then I'd still feel like I lived in the land of the normal. Instead I'm here in the middle of some fairytale but I'm still just Chloe."

I slurped the end of my drink in her ear since Spike definitely wouldn't mind.

Spike took the time to formulate her answer. "Ok, so you landed in the middle of Epic. It's surprising, but you can manage this. It's not like you have to fight all the dragons straight away. Right now, everything is sweet. You've got four more years of school. Seth over there has a good few years of med school left, since we presume that the band won't actually pan out. So you don't actually have to worry about anything hardcore, like marriage, for a good five or six years. By which time you're twenty-four or five and it's a bit early, but not white-trash early. Just think of yourself doing some sort of urban chic MTV before reality shows got trashy sort of thing."

"Okay," I said with much doubt in my voice.

"You just need to re-frame it. Think The Real World instead of The Lord of the Rings."

I nodded, "It might work."

"Can I change the subject?"

"Sure." I was ready for an intensity break.

"Jared's got a boyfriend."

"No way!"

"He has the whole summer. He never said anything. I had to have Martin 'I wish I was called Slasher' tell me." Spike was indignant.

I laughed out loud and then stopped because I didn't want to admit Stacy had predicted it. "Who is he?"

"Some kid called Benny. He's cute, long eyelashes and full lips. Jared is quite smitten."

I dared to be brave, "Why didn't he tell you himself?"

"He claims I was too busy with my own little summer fling. But Martin says he was worried what I'd say, whether I'd like this Benny kid."

I hated to admit it, but I could see where Jared was coming from, "Do you like him?"

"He's a sweet kid. He's in the year below us at City High. If Jared's happy, then so am I."

"So that's it, Jared's out now?"

I could practically hear Spike shaking her head, "Not exactly. He says there's no reason to tell his parents and he should wait until it's at least convenient for them to throw him out of the house."

"He does have a point."

"He does." Spike was quite begrudging. "I don't think they're really going to throw him out, but you can only lead a horse to water."

It was my turn for a subject change, "How's Fred?"

Suddenly Spike was soft and mushy, "He's all good. There's a tattoo convention in San Diego. Doug's planning a stand. Fred asked if I wanted to come with him."

"How long are you going for?" I tried not to smile at blissfully smitten Spike.

"Four days, maybe more. We thought we might ride around a bit on the way back. I'll keep you posted."

"I guess you get a road trip after all."

We chatted a while longer about the goings on of our friends back home. It was amazing how I'd only been gone a few months and already Ricky Ray's latest exploits seemed much less vital news. I let Spike tell me about it and made all the right noises in response.

It was only when I noticed that the strip mall the café was in now cast a shadow across the road that I realized how much time had passed. I gathered up my things and headed out. Soon the street was lined with trees and those duplex things they have all over Montreal. I turned down a random side road and wandered into the heart of the neighborhood. It was peaceful, walking around and looking at things. This wasn't the rest of my life; it was just a couple of hours on a summer afternoon.

The afternoon slid into early evening. I stopped on a park bench and watched some guys playing ball. There wasn't much breeze, but now that the sun had set the baking heat had subsided. I felt totally relaxed. Until a slight niggling in the back of my mind pushed for attention.

Shoot, I need the bathroom. I went before I left the café, but I knew that second bottle of Coke would catch up with me sometime. This park is not exactly full of bushes to run into. Maybe there's a pubic bathroom here? Oh, I think there is over there.

I headed over to a small brick hut. The door was locked. Shoot. The park's only officially open until sunset? Why close a park? What's going to happen to it? Ok, now what do I do? If I just keep walking straight I should get to the main road and then hopefully there'll be some shop I can run into.

I started walking out of the park. I'm not sure I'm going to make it that far. Wait a second, maybe I don't have to.

I looked at the houses opposite the park. Big oak tree with funny cabbage-looking flowers.

"Please god, I know you're busy but I really need a bathroom. Could you make this the right house? Thanks."

I walked up the step and knocked on the door.

A girl about my age answered the door.

"Hi Tal, could I please use your bathroom?"
Chapter 8

Tal had her hair down. I never noticed how pretty she was before. Her hazel eyes had little flecks of gold. Does she usually wear glasses? Her clothes are better now. Usually she wore the same old denim skirt with some sort of t-shirt. All of a sudden she was wearing a pretty black skirt with maroon embroidery and beading, and a matching maroon shirt. I think she had earrings on, and makeup.

"Tal, are you going somewhere?" I ask as Tal does a double take. I guess she didn't exactly expect me to turn up on her doorstep.

"Is now a bad time?" I asked as Tal does a triple take.

"Tal?" A pretty woman who looks a lot like Tal came to the door. She was wearing a light blue sweater than came just below her elbows and a skirt in a slightly darker blue. But that's not what I noticed first. First, I saw the stunning scarf wrapped around her head like a turban. It must have been silk and the colors blended from the blue of her sweater through to brilliant turquoise. She was wearing opal drop earrings. Now it was my turn to stare.

The pretty woman looked at both of us.

"Hi, I don't believe we've met," She said brightly to me.

"I'm Chloe. I study with Tal. I didn't mean to drop in at a bad time. I was just passing by and I needed the bathroom and I thought you wouldn't mind," I stammered.

The women smiled, "It's not a bad time, of course you can use our bathroom. I'm Nava, Tal's sister," she said as she held the door open for me.

"The bathroom's this way," Tal managed to say.

I peeked in the living room door on the way down the hall to the bathroom. A large mahogany table was set for a feast. It looked like Thanksgiving, or how Thanksgiving is on TV because my mom usually serves on paper dishes to save washing up. The table was set with a white tablecloth, fine china and wine glasses. In a corner there were candles burning.

Shoot, I really did come at a bad time. I'd better get out of there as soon as my bladder allows.

The relief to use the bathroom was worth the intense embarrassment of having to make my way back down the hall and apologize for busting into their family party.

"Chloe." Tal leapt up from the couch as she saw me edge past the living room door. "Do you want to come in?"

"I think I'd better be going," I said hesitantly.

"Surely you'd like a cold drink first?" an elegant middle-aged woman said, coming to stand next to Tal. She was wearing a black shift dress with a white long shelved shell underneath, and a choker of pearls. On her head was a black hat with very little brim. It must be Tal's mother.

"I'm Mrs. Perr. I've heard all about you. It's so nice for Tal to find such a devoted study partner." She called to someone in the room, "Dava, please bring Tal's friend a drink."

Before I knew what was happening to me, I was sitting on the brown leather couch sipping iced tea. I have never felt so underdressed. I was wearing the clothes I had put on in the morning to study, my most faded jeans, a plain white T-shirt and my converse. In the park I'd slipped on the white cheese cloth shirt I'd brought in case it got cooler in the evening. My hair was pulled messily on top of my head and around my throat was a black leather cord that I like to wear when I don't want to bother with jewelry. I was introduced to everyone and instantly forgot their names. Besides Tal's sister and her daughter, there were two friends here for dinner.

"You're from Texas, right Chloe? That's a long way to come for school," Mrs. Perr smiled.

"This school has a very good reputation. It's supposed to be the Ivy League of Canada. My Dad was happy because it's a lot cheaper. My sister was going to Dartmouth and then you really pay for the real Ivy League experience."

"It's so convenient for us that it's here in Montreal. We pay even less as locals. And then Tal can live at home. It's the best of both worlds," Mrs. Perr beamed.

Tal looked less happy.

"What do your parents do, Chloe?" Mrs. Perr asked.

"My father's a chemical engineer and my mother's a florist." I sipped my tea to steady my nerves.

"A florist, how nice. Does she have a shop?"

I nodded, "Yes, in a small strip mall."

"Does most of her business come from weddings or does she get much walk in business?" Mrs. Perr asked. I was beginning to feel like I was at a job interview.

I blushed, "Actually, most of her business comes from funerals. These days people usually pay for their own weddings, so sometimes they scrimp on the flowers, but for funerals everyone's trying to assuage their guilt and outdo the other family members."

Everyone laughed, although it wasn't that funny.

"Have you been shopping?" Nava asked pointing to my bag.

"My boyfriend's really into cooking so I saw this Indian food store in the car the other day and I came back to see if I could get him some spices." I looked desperately at Tal.

"The other day?" Mrs Perr said to Tal.

"Chloe came with us to the old age home to sing," Tal explained miserably.

Mrs. Perr smiled and nodded but I sensed Tal was in trouble.

"I've got a new dress," a little blond girl of about four announced, coming to twirl in front of me. It was a pink party dress with petticoats that swirled as she turned.

"What a lovely dress," I said with enthusiasm. "I had a dress like that when I was five, my aunt Theresa gave it to me. It had a big bow at the back."

The little girl turned to show me that she also had a bow on the back.

"Do you have new shoes, too?" I asked, glad for the spotlight to be shifted away from me.

The girl shook her head solemnly. "No, I only got a new dress because the other one was too small. I have to wait for the Day of Accounting for new shoes."

I had no idea what she was talking about but I shrugged in sympathy.

Nava looked up and said, "It's eight-thirty."

"Wow, really? I should be going. Thanks for the drink. I guess I'll see you at the exam on Monday, Tal?"

Tal looked visibly relieved, "Sure, yes, thanks for stopping by."

Mrs. Perr stood to see me out, "It was so nice to meet you Chloe. Feel free to stop by again." Her voice was warm, but I was sure she didn't mean it.

"Thank you so much for the hospitality. You really saved my life on the bathroom front."

We were just making our way towards the front door when it opened and through it walked a group of men all wearing suits.

We all froze.

"You're home early," Mrs. Perr said brightly.

"A lot of people are on vacation so things moved more quickly," one of the men explained.

"Who's this?" a youngish guy asked. He might have been the brother-in-law.

"This is Chloe, Tal's study partner. She just stopped by for few minutes."

I would have smiled and made my way towards the door if it wasn't for the fact that I had lost all control over my body. I just stood there and stared. I didn't even care if by now they thought I was beyond weird.

Behind each of the men was a large shape of fire and light. I couldn't actually see them. It was more like my mind told me they were there, without bothering to bypass my eyes. Part of my mind was telling me it wasn't true, while the other part was just staring at these huge figures radiating splendor. It would be an understatement to say I'd never seen anything like it. I'd never imagined anything like it. I'm not sure if Steven Spielberg has ever imagined anything like it.

Tal was introducing me to her brother and acting like everything was normal. I don't even think I said hello to him. When I did speak I couldn't even remember to fake politeness.

"What is that?" I didn't even blink. I just stood and stared. I might have been in shock.

Tal looked shifty, "That's my Dad."

"What's the problem?" One of Tal's friends asked the other.

"I think it's because he's wearing a hat," the other replied.

"Who cares about the hat?" The panic was apparent in my voice. I still didn't take my eyes off them. "Behind him," I croaked, "Can't you see them?"

The whole room froze.

"See who?" Tal's mother asked casually. She's a good actor, only her eyes betrayed her.

Tal was less cool, "What's there to see?"

Sweat was pouring down my back, I was about to totally lose my cool. "The giant creatures of light and fire standing behind him."

"Ahhh, behind all of you!" I leapt back. I wrapped my arms around myself so they wouldn't see how my hands were shaking. Now even Mrs. Perr was having trouble playing it cool. We all just looked at each other for five horrible seconds.

"It's the angels," a voice piped up. Tal's little niece smiled brightly while her mother clearly considered infanticide.

"The angels?" I wasn't sure the voice was my own.

A vein on Tal's left temple was throbbing. "I did tell you," she said very quickly. "Angels come to our house on the weekend."

"You didn't tell me it was fucking TRUE!!" I exploded.

Then clamped one hand to my mouth as I realized I'd just sworn in front of a bunch of religious people and a swarm of angels. I sank into the sofa behind me. I put my head in my hands, but when I looked up they were still there, radiating eternal light.

"It's supposed to be a metaphor for spending quality family time together, it's not supposed to be real," I said half to myself.

Over my head, I felt an exchange of meaningful looks. Someone reached a decision.

For the first time, Mr. Perr spoke, "It's all true. There really are angels that come to our house, we really live in the Palace, we really defend the world from Oblivion and Disconnection. We are the Servants of He Who Sees All. It's real."

I thought, holy crap.

I said, "Oh."

Then my brain began to function so I added, "So when Tal said you were part of an eternal battle she actually meant that you were, like, part of an eternal battle?"

Cautiously, Tal nodded.

"All those stories are true?" I asked.

Tal nodded again.

"Anything anyone missed?" I asked more brightly than the moment called for.

The blond friend put up her hand, "There really is a force in side of us that drives us away from the true path."

"You're actually possessed?"

"A bit. Somewhat. Maybe," she floundered.

"We prefer to think of it as being provided with daily challenges to become greater," explained Mr. Perr. He's slick. I wonder if he was a motivational speaker or a divorce lawyer.

They seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"How come you guys don't tell anyone about all of this?"

"We do," said Tal.

"They just don't believe us," the clean cut guy, who I presumed was her brother, explained.

"The angels aren't a giveaway?"

"Others, people who are not of our kind, can't usually see them so we tell the whole truth and they don't believe us." The brother looked around for encouragement. The others nodded.

"Why can you see them?" The blond friend asked.

I shrugged, "Gifted?"

They all considered it. There may have been another unseen exchange because Mrs. Perr suddenly smiled brightly and asked, "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Right then, going home to watch X-files re-runs seemed a little lame, so I stayed.

I sat at the table trying to get a grip on myself. Angels are real, God is real. Ok, it's not that bad, I suspected that He was real. I could have extrapolated to include the angels. It's just a bit surprising to see them up close and personal. Now that I'm actually paying attention, they do seem to have a bit of a glow about them, Tal and all of these People. I guess they really are not quite human. I concentrated on breathing deeply and lowering my heart beat without anyone else noticing.

Maybe someone's just doing me a favor over here, a couple of hours ago I was freaking out about the whole meeting my soul mate thing, and now it seems positively mundane. Seth's the one I was destined for, we'll be together forever and beyond; that's easy in comparison to this. After tonight I can go home and live out my epic love for the rest of my life and be quite happy knowing I could have had much worse things to deal with. At least Buffy got a funky wardrobe, Tal's seriously lacking in that department.

Mr. Perr said some sort of grace thing in a language I didn't recognize, and the angels seemed to take a step backward, not out of the room just a little out of what I think of as reality.

"Where'd they go?" I whispered to Tal.

"They can't eat," Tal explained in her normal talking voice. "It's not very polite to eat a whole meal in front of them when they can't eat, so they go a little further into the Palace while we eat our meal."

I nodded. It didn't make any less sense than anything else I had heard that night.

They passed around wine and bread. Since I hadn't understood the grace part, I wasn't sure if it was holy wine and bread or just regular. I took a tiny sip of the wine, which was way too sweet but the bread was pretty good. Tal's friends rose with Mrs. Perr to bring in the food. I wondered if Tal was assigned babysitting me as her official job. They each made two trips to and from the kitchen. There was a lot of food.

The brother-in-law smiled at me across the table as I eyed it all. "This is just the first course."

I looked over with disbelief. "Really?"

"It's a good idea to pace yourself."

"Thanks." I carefully took only half a piece of salmon, one of the big stuffed mushroom things and a little salad. Seth would love this place.

Nava looked quizzically at her husband, "How did you know to say that?"

"When I was in college I was assigned Service in outreach, people would often assume what they saw was all they were getting and then eat too much at the first course. I learned it paid to warn people to leave room for later." He seemed to have no trouble tucking into a mounded plate.

It seemed I was allowed to ask questions, "Do you have much luck getting new members?"

Everyone looked over Mr. Perr at the head of the table.

I thought it was an easy question.

Mr. Perr, "We don't. In very rare cases there are others that cross over into the Palace but it's very much the exception. Unfortunately, the past two or three generations have been very hard for our kind. Many of the People have been lost to the Palace. Now there are efforts to encourage those that remain to return to the Service."

I nodded, "I hear that. Religion's not so popular these days. What happens if too many of them leave the fold?"

"The world will stop turning," he said calmly.

I wasn't sure what to do with that. Yesterday I would have assumed every religion thinks they are pretty vital. But today was the day I saw angels. Could they be right about this too?

"Why?" I knew it was lame as I said it but I couldn't just let it go.

He didn't seem to think it was a stupid question, "He Who Knows All set up the world with a system of checks and balances. Everything has a specific role to play. In order for the world to exist the balance must be maintained. Good cannot exist without Evil. Without cruelty, there would be no kindness. Our job is to keep the balance. We prevent Evil from taking over."

"Why does it have to be you guys? Couldn't you just get someone else do to it?"

Mr. Perr sipped his wine. "There are very few from outside who are suitable or prepared to take up the mantle."

"And it has to be in this Palace place?" I saw Tal's sister try not to laugh.

I don't care if she thinks I'm funny, this is probably my only chance to get it all straight.

Mr. Perr had the good grace not to even smirk. "Only in the Palace is the Adversary clearly identifiable. In the physical world, we're as blind as you are, maybe even more so with the Interloper working against us."

"But where's the balance? You get to hang out in this super cool mystical realm fighting clearly identified bad guys, that seems more like a 'get out of jail free' card." Tal's sister raised her eyes brows with surprise.

Yeah, take that, see who can ask smart sounding questions now. Then I remembered I was supposed to be listening to the answer and not gloating.

Mr. Perr clasped his hands in front of him as he thought. "The short answer is that we have less choice and the stakes are higher. For the longer answer you'll have to follow along with me for a minute."

I nodded to show I could handle more than two thoughts in a straight line.

"The various creatures have different degrees of freewill and of awareness of He Who Sees All. Angels are totally aware but they have no free will. Humans have limited awareness but almost total free will. Animals have neither free will nor awareness but they bear no consequences for their actions. The higher order of beings face consequences for their free will choices."

His eyes followed me closely to see if I was keeping up. "The more you see the less free will you have?" I said.

The brother-in-law smirked, "If you're standing in front of He Who Knows, you probably wouldn't pick your nose." I nodded.

"Where do you all fit in?" I asked reaching for another stuffed mushroom. I know I'd been warned, but they really were delicious. At least I could tell Seth I'd been eating well.

"We are somewhere between the angels and the humans. The People can go in either direction. Ideally we reach up and are more like the angels, but we can also go the other way."

I squinted; something didn't sit right, "The rest of the world seems to be doing okay."

Mrs. Perr shot a quick glance at Mr. Perr.

"Of course they are," he began. "The rest of the world is doing what they were created to do. He Who Sees wants the nations of the world to live happy, prosperous lives. The People were assigned a different task in creation, to not fulfill it is to fail in their mission."

"When you're on an airplane, you don't think that it is unfair for the flight attendants to spend the whole time walking up and down, that's their purpose on the plane. As a passenger, there are times when you can walk up and down if you so choose, but there are times when the passengers must sit even though the flight attendants continue to walk up and down. A flight attendant who sits for the entire journey has failed to do their job properly."

I thought about it. "So you People get to be badass and see God up close and personal, but the price you pay is having to do what He tells you because He's right there in your face."

"And the world depends on it." The brother in law added.

I guess no one asks why the angels get to be in heaven and we get stuck down here. Just about everyone realizes that we have more fun. That whole harp thing must wear a little thin after the first millennia. No wonder Tal always looks a bit moody.

Just then Mrs. Perr brought the next course and the conversation moved onto lighter topics. I, for one, was glad. I had more than enough to be thinking about for one night.

I was very grateful for the warning because the food just kept coming. I think there were five separate courses but there could have been six because there seemed be two rounds of dessert. Between most of the courses the men sang and the angels danced. It was the most beautiful thing I've even seen, and I've seen Seth straight out of the shower. The men started to sing and the angels danced around the table rising higher and higher with the melody.

By the time the second dessert was about to come I was pretty relaxed. It's a good thing I was sitting down because I was totally blown away because suddenly it wasn't just angels I could see. The walls of their house fell away and we were in a huge banquet hall. It was full of People I couldn't quite make out. Choirs of Angels circled the table. Everything was made out of the white radiance of splendor. Light rained down as the men harmonized with the angelic voices. We throw about these words in everyday speech: holy, divine, glory. Now that I could reach out and touch the divine, I saw that I had no idea what those words meant and even if I understood them then it would only go half the way to recount the scene before me.

'This is the Palace,' a voice said in my head, and I knew it was. 'The People belong to Him. What is His will be returned to Him."

I nodded my silent approval.

As Tal's friend started to clear the plates, Mrs. Perr said warmly, "Thank you so much for joining us, Chloe."

"Thanks for having me. It was amazing. It's the sort of thing that normally I wouldn't be able to wait to tell my friends about, but I somehow I don't think they'll believe me."

"They won't," the brother in law said cheerfully.

"It was nice to meet you," Mr. Perr said with a little bow.

I smiled at everyone else and Tal walked me out.

"I guess we're not study partners anymore," Tal said as we walked down the steps.

I turned back to look at her, "Why not?"

"I thought after that you wouldn't want to."

"Because it turns out you were telling the truth and you really are the Servants of Divine Will?"

Tal's face said, "Duh!"

I shrugged, "I won't lie, it was slightly surprising, but not the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. Because Doug who owns the tattoo parlor in El Paso, he once lost a bet with Ricky Ray and had to enroll in ballet classes. Now Doug's a big guy and a walking billboard for his establishment. Against all laws of nature, Doug got into the ballet thing and I once went to one of his recitals and saw him in a leotard. Now that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen," I said triumphantly.

I could see her smile in the glow of the street light.

"If you count the time Spike's mom made me, Jared, and their dog go to family therapy with them, then this is only the third weirdest thing that's ever happened to me."

Tal giggled.

"Is the ballet story true?"

My face said it all, "Only too true. Some memories you take with you to the grave. This was really nice tonight. The food was amazing."

"I know, my Mom really can cook."

"We should get her together with my boyfriend, they could go into business together. He's actually out of town this weekend so this worked out great. I was wondering what I was going to do all evening."

"I'm glad. I guess I'll see you in class."

"Sure. This way back to the Metro right?"

I was almost on the sidewalk when she called after me, "Chloe?"

I stopped, she ran down the stairs to where I was standing by the big tree.

"How come you could see them? I was watching you. You saw the Palace also, right?"

I nodded. "I don't why I could see them. Maybe I'm just lucky."

Tal seemed to be thinking it over. When she began she was very hesitant, "I don't know if I should... or if you would want to... but we have a teacher. She knows a lot of the Way. She might have dealt with this sort of thing before. If you wanted to work out why, I could take you to talk to her."

I rubbed my eyes, "I'm going to think about it. This was cool, but like your Dad said, it's not my world. Thanks for the offer though."

"Sure, whatever." I think she was relieved.

"Good night, Tal."

She stayed in the garden until I reached the next block.

*

The door clicked shut behind Tal. Her parents were waiting for her on the couch.

"That was insane!" Tal said sinking into an armchair. "I thought they weren't supposed to believe us?"

Mr. Perr stifled a smile, "They're not, but from time to time it does happen."

"She seemed like a very nice girl," Mrs. Perr added brightly. "Why don't you invite her over again. It's nice for you to have some college friends."

"But she knows the truth?!" Tal's parents were unspeakably not perturbed.

"It happened to me once," Yoni said coming in from the kitchen.

Tal turned to face her brother in law, "It did?"

"When I was in college there was a guy, Sebastian, he like to hang around and help out. I emailed him a while back and he said that after we all graduated, he switched to playing Dungeons and Dragons on the weekend instead."

Tal looked back at her father. "If you're really not sure, I can discuss it with Guide Leib for you," He offered. "But she seems harmless enough. Monitor the situation, but He Who Sees All sends us help in many forms. I don't see why you can't continue this relationship."

Tal was still not totally convinced, "And I just keep on telling the whole truth, even though now she knows it's actually real and not some mumbo-jumbo we made up?"

"There is no reason to lie. The Way teaches that the truth will protect us."

Dava smiled, "You wanted to be her friend. Look how beautifully He Who Knows organized the world for you."
Chapter 9

I was curled up in bed with my cell next to my head.

"Hello." I was too sleepy to remember to try to sound awake.

There was a smile in the voice again, "I thought you said I could call any time."

"You could. I didn't say I'd be awake. I had the phone waiting next to me."

"Should I let you sleep?"

I sat up in bed suddenly much more awake. "Don't you dare. I've been waiting for you to call. How was the gig?"

"We rocked. There were two encores."

"Nice!" I beamed at the phone. "You must be so pleased."

"I'm quietly content," Seth said with mock humility.

"I bet you are." I was clearly not deceived.

"What did you do all day? Did you close up the café?"

Should I tell him about it now?

"You wouldn't believe what happened to me," I let my voice trial off tantalizingly.

"What happened to you, Chloe?" Seth said in a tone usually saved for the mentally incompetent.

"I went for a walk."

"Uh-huh."

"Then I needed the bathroom."

"Amazing."

"So I went to Tal's house and I stayed for dinner." I waited for a reaction.

"Your study partner chick. That was the big excitement?" There was a pause. He wasn't about to be beaten so easily. "Today must be the Day of Connection, right? Were there Angels?"

"What?" I didn't expect him to actually get it.

"Angels come to their house on the weekend. Isn't that what they believe?"

This was not going according to plan.

"Seth you don't get it, there really where Angels; great big creatures of fire and light."

"Cool."

There was a pause.

"Aren't you going to say anything else?" I asked.

"Was the food good?"

"It was actually excellent. You could swap recipes with her Mom, but that's not the big news over here. Angels are real."

"Chloe, I know. Obviously angels are real, now what?"

"Huh?"

"All sorts of things are real. Their existence does not necessarily bear any impact on your life. But if it makes you happy to hang out with angels then you should go for it."

"Thanks," I sounded very uncertain. Does he believe me or not? It was too late at night to be too early in the morning, so I let it go.

I fell asleep with the phone still in my hand and dreamed fitfully of Angels selling pizzas with just enough cheese.

When I woke, my alarm clock announced it was still much earlier than I had hoped. I had three hours before I was due to meet Bernie. Even the longest shower in the world wouldn't kill that much time. I tried rolling over and tried pretending I wasn't awake. I must not be that good of an actress because I totally failed to convince myself. Being awake would mean thinking, and I wasn't sure I was ready to do any of that.

Reluctantly, I got out of bed. I hurried to the shower and hoped the water would wash away my still unripe thoughts. No such luck.

Angels are real. I already suspected that He was real, but Angels make everything way more hardcore. I always think of the Master of the Universe as a benevolent force that might possibly be involved in running the world, kind of like the Peace Corps. By Himself, he's all Zen and pleasantly in the background. Angels mean that He is here, up close and personal. Angels mean that if I'm not careful He might actually notice me, kind of like the IRS. No one wants to be audited by God.

Half an hour later I was dressed. No point putting on makeup, Bernie was taking me to get a facial. I gave up any pretense of doing anything else besides thinking things through.

Ok, where am I up to? He Who Knows really is running the world. The angels work for Him. So do Tal and the rest of the People. This apparently is my summer for finding out that Hollywood lies to us less than I'd thought. Seth says none of this matters.

Seth was bestowed with a lot more inner cool than me. I have yet to see him flapped by anything. I don't want to have to talk to him about this again. I've got to get my head round it all before he comes home. Otherwise he's going to come home and I'll still be freaking and he'll be totally reasonable. I'll be forced to agree with whatever he says by his sheer power of persuasion.

Too late, I remembered that we were supposed to be getting manicures as well as facials. Thanks to my thought process, I didn't have much in the way of nails. I switched to pretzels, same crunch but less collateral damage in the personal grooming department.

It could be that Seth is right. On Thursday it never dawned on me that Tal was telling the truth. The world seemed to be running quite adequately without my participation. A bit like that magnet Jared's Mom has on their fridge, "Please sit back and enjoy the ride, I'll be running the world for you today, Thank you, God." Maybe I can just accept that there are things out there that I don't really understand but I'm happy to just let exist, like quantum physics.

Finally I was calm enough to go eat a more nourishing breakfast than pretzels and finger nails.

Monday was off to a good start; I made it to the exam on time and with a full breakfast in my stomach, thanks to the surprise early return of my boyfriend. I waved to Tal as we were seated, but I didn't get to speak to her until after the exam.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't call you yesterday. Things got really busy," she apologized as she caught up with me outside the lecture hall.

"Don't worry about it. I know how it goes. Were you fighting the good fight?"

We began to walk out of the building together.

Tal sighed. There were bags under her eyes. "I'm not sure you can call it the good fight. I didn't duck in time, and I took a massive blow on my left side. I could feel it throbbing the whole night. I hardly slept."

"You got hurt physically?" I stopped walking.

Tal turned to look at me. "Sure. If you get hurt in the Palace, you're hurt in this world too. Thankfully, the wounds are usually muted so you don't feel it as much, but it's still a real pain in the bum. A couple of times I've had to miss school because of battle wounds. Try explaining that to a prof."

"What did you say?"

"That I had a virus. There's not much they can do with that, eh?"

"I guess not." I thought for a minute. "What if you die in the Palace?"

"Then you die in this world too."

My face must have been a picture because I saw her stifle a smile at my surprise.

"That's not the worst outcome. If you die in the physical then you're dead and you go to the Great Banquet. The worst is when you die in the Palace, but you keep living in the physical. It's awful. It happened to one of my mother's cousins. She went around walking, talking, going to work. She seemed alive, but inside there was nothing there. It was painful to watch."

I shifted my weight to the other foot. I wasn't ready to head out of the AC just yet.

"You know when I looked you guys up on Wikipedia it talked more about closeness and connection than actual battles."

"But that's the whole point," Tal said quickly like I was supposed to understand something. I let my face convey my lack of clarity.

"We didn't actually write our own Wikipedia entry; at least I don't think we did." She paused for a second. "The literal truth hides the actual truth. We tell everyone about the philosophy and they assume the battles are hypothetical, but actually the battles are real. The purpose of the real battle is to maintain the Connection."

For a second I thought I saw a flash of guilt cross her face, like she'd said something she shouldn't have, although I, for one, was not feeling particularly enlightened. "I still don't get how that's supposed to help. You come close to He Who Knows and it saves the world?"

"But the closer you come, the more splendor that is manifested in the world and that defeats Oblivion," Tal explained like it was obvious.

"I guess so," was the best response I could come up with.

Tal suddenly became very still. Only her eyes moved as she scanned the room.

"Gotta go?" I asked.

"There's no time," she replied, her eyes still scanning. "I'll just sit on that bench over there."

We'd actually both left the exam early, so I had a few minutes before I was supposed to meet Seth. "Shall I keep you company?"

Her eyes focused on me for a second, "There's not much to see. I'm just going to sit down over there. But you can stay if you want to."

I sat next to her on the hard wooden bench. She pulled a book from her bag and placed it on her lap. Bending her head towards it as though she was studying, she unfocused her eyes. And then she was gone.

Of course her body was still sitting next to me. She was still breathing and very occasionally she blinked.

Now what? Do I just sit here? I don't think anyone's going to notice something's off. I could retaliate to Seth by surprising him. But he probably needs his sleep. There's no way he got a quality night's sleep in the front seat of the van. I could go to the bookstore and just kill half an hour or so, and then walk really slowly to Seth's. I could just stay here. I wonder if I can see where she went?

I tried. I shut my eyes and nothing happened. I tried breathing deeply; still nothing.

How come I could do it before and not now? Tal says they're always telling the truth, but no one sees. How do you see something that's hidden in plain sight?

I looked around me. The concrete walls of the science block were still there.

What's hidden where anyone can find it? It sounds like one of those 3D pictures that were cool in the 90's. The ones that looked like a bunch of scribble, but if you let your eyes relax then there was a dolphin. Can I do that with my whole mind?

I tried to relax my thoughts. I felt the world blur, my heart beat a little fast, my breathing slow and tingles travel down my spine.

I nearly jumped out of my seat. I didn't expect the picture to be that clear. Tal was standing, legs apart braced for the imminent impact, both hands clasping the hilt of a large bronze sword. A ten-ton grizzly bear was barreling toward her, its teeth bared and a snarl on its lips. I nearly cried out, but remembered just in time that I was still in the entrance to the science building. I had no idea if Tal would have heard me, and I certainly would have drawn too much attention to ourselves when we were supposed to be inconspicuous.

Tal didn't need my warning. She'd clearly done this before. With one swift stroke she plunged the sword into the oncoming bear, at the same time jumping to her left to avoid the collision.

It was only then that I saw she was not alone. As the bear roared in response to Tal's blow, I saw what looked like her friend Cale leap onto the bear's back. The bear bucked trying to dislodge the new attacker, but Cale clung on with a handful of fur. He used the other hand to catch a spear that Jov threw to him.

Cale thrust the spear through the bear's head and it was all over. The bear collapsed in a pile on the floor, and Cale gracefully slid down its side like a kid in a playground. Before I could get a better look at where they were standing, Tal opened her eyes. The whole thing had taken maybe ten minutes.

"Sorry, was I gone for long?" She smiled. She looked quite calm for someone who'd just fought a pitch battle. My heart was still racing.

"No, just a few minutes. That was amazing," I gushed.

She looked at me sharply. "You saw what happened?"

"Not at first. I had to focus. I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to see if it would work. You looked like it was no big deal to be fighting ferocious animals."

Tal blushed slightly. "I do it fairly often."

"What's the whole animal thing about anyway? I thought you guys were trying to close some rift in the space time continuum or something?"

Tal stood up. I guess we couldn't sit in the science building all day.

"The animals are the forces of Disconnection. They're trying to prevent us from succeeding in our mission. If we use up all of our reserves fighting them, we won't be able to close the sinkhole."

The heat hit like a tidal wave as we passed through the big glass doors. "What happens when you close the sinkhole?"

"We go for pizza."

I gave her a look. She laughed at me. "I'm actually being serious. We have our own personal tradition to go for pizza when we finish a mission. It's good to reward yourself in the physical world."

"But what happens spiritually?"

Tal shrugged, "The world continues turning. The connection between the physical world and the divine is maintained."

She was clearly not getting my point. "But then what?"

"Then we wait for the next mission and we do it all over again."

"Forever?"

Tal's brow furrowed in an effort to understand my questioning. "We're the People. Of course we keep doing it."

This might be the best answer I was going to get. I tried a different tack. "Is it fun?"

A great grin broke out on her usually calm face. "It's awesome," she said with a slightly embarrassed giggle. It reminded me of when Spike asked me what it was like sleeping with Seth. Some things are too pleasurable to be debased with words.

"You work like crazy, risk your lives on a daily basis but it's really, really worth it? Not just because you're all altruistic, but also because it's beyond cool?" I was beginning to understand.

The smile was still spread right across her face. "Of course, did you think we were stupid? I mean, I'm glad you think that we're all so holy the only reason we dedicate our lives to defending the Palace is because it's the right thing to do, but also it's really fun."

I answered her smile. "It actually makes me feel much better. It makes you guys seem significantly less weird."

"I'm glad that watching me fight a pitched battle in a higher spiritual realm makes me seem less weird."

That was the most sarcastic I'd ever heard Tal be. I was impressed. Maybe there was hope for her yet.

"Really the coolest part was how you did it in a skirt," I quipped as we walked along the drive towards the main road.

Tal's car was parked right next to the main entrance.

"Do you want a ride?" she asked as she buzzed the car open.

She always gets great parking; I wonder if that's one of the perks?

"No, thanks, I'm going straight to my boyfriend's. He was away for the weekend and now he's back." I gestured in the direction of his house.

"Ok, happy reunion-ing," Tal said with a wink.

I was shocked. She was really coming out of her shell today. I waved and started to walk away, then I ran back before she could pull away.

"Tal, are you going to the old age home this week?"

"Sure, we go almost every week. It's part of our regular Service," she said as the car window wound down.

"Can I come?"

She looked slightly surprised. "Yeah, why not? Or actually, why yes?"

It was my turn to blush. "I actually just quite like the elderly. Also, you know, maybe it's my part in the war effort."

"Ok, I'll see if I can get the car to pick you up. I'll call you."

As soon as she was ready to pull away from the curb the lights down the block turned red and she pulled out into clear road. I waved and then headed to Seth's.

Josh let me in. Seth was still sleeping. I entered his room silently and perched on top of a pile of clothes heaped on his chair. His hair was sticking up in about ten different directions, and there was a bit of drool at the side of his mouth. He was beautiful. He was sleeping in only the black jeans. His stomach muscles rippled invitingly. I struggled with the desire to nuzzle him awake and the pleasure of watching him sleep.

I swiveled the chair around and flicked on Seth's computer. Spike had tagged me on pictures of her packing for the big trip. It seemed I was going to get a blow-by-blow account of the trip whether I liked it or not. I also had a message from Stacy.

What's your address? I want to send you a card for your birthday. How's it going with lover boy? I registered for U of FL. I'm thinking of majoring in psychology, but then it would be a while before I earn any money. I thought about social work, but then I'd never earn any money. Rob's pretty serious about opening his own place. He's got some quite devoted customers already. We'd need a loan from the bank and now's not the best economy for starting a business, so we'll have to see what happens. Did you tell Mom and Dad I said hi?

Stacy

I wrote back.

Seth is delicious. Right now he's asleep, but he probably says hi. You could always send me an e-card, but I've put my address below. Guess what, you were right. Jared didn't need any help after all. He got a boyfriend! Some kid Benny who was in the grade below us. I wonder how long it's being going on? I didn't actually tell Mom and Dad hi. I haven't spoken to them much. But I will if you want.

Chloe

Immediately she wrote back

You can tell them if you want. Only if you're speaking to them.

S

I picked up my cell phone. Mom would be in the shop, usually she could talk unless she was with a client. Flowers don't need much personal attention. I let myself back out of Seth's room and went out onto the stoop to make my call.

"Hey, Ma? Are you busy?"

I could picture Mom pushing back her springy hair and sliding the phone into the crook of her neck so she could carry on using both hands.

"Hang on a sec. I've just got to get this thingy in my ear," she said.

I heard rustling. "What thingy?"

"Your Dad got me this Bluetooth, hands-free thing for the phone so I could talk without doing in my back. I've got three weddings this week so I need to get going."

"No funerals?"

"Naah, there aren't many funerals this time of year. It's mostly in the winter. I think the cold weather finishes them off."

"But you live in Texas. It doesn't get that cold."

"Could be it's the shock of fresh air when they finally go outside after it cools down. What's the weather like up there in Canada?"

I looked out at the picturesque tree lined street. The blazing sun bounced through the leaves making little pools of shade. I suddenly realized I'd started to get used to the humidity.

"You know, it's pretty hot for Canada. It must be up in the nineties today. And it's humid. You come out of the shower and you could just go right back in again."

The Bluetooth thingy was pretty powerful, and I could hear the snip, snip as Mom trimmed the flowers. "It sounds almost as bad as Florida. Do you remember when we all went to visit Cousin Martin in Miami? I never knew my body could make that much sweat."

I giggled. Aunt Theresa had hated the humidity and spent the whole time cussing under her breath in Spanish and fanning herself with a small paper fan.

"It was pretty hot," was as much as I allowed myself to say about the whole experience. Mom didn't like talking about Aunt Theresa. She says you shouldn't speak ill of the dead so no one should bring up the subject and force her into it. "Montreal is not as bad as Florida."

I paused to see if she was really listening to me. "I heard from Stacy."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. She was really listening to me.

"It sounds like she's doing well. They're in Jacksonville, Florida. Rob has a steady job and Stacy's transferred to the University of Florida."

"She's still in school?" The tone was icy.

"She sounds really excited to start. She says she's thinking of majoring in psychology. Right now she's working to save up so she won't have to work during the semester. It sounds like Rob's bringing in enough to keep them covered without Stacy having to work in the school year. She asked me to say hi."

"She did?" When she wanted, Mom could do more damage with one eyebrow than even Spike. I could just imagine her face now.

"She sounded pretty pleased to hear from me. If you want I could get a phone number for you." I winced as I realized I'd just admitted to initiating contact with the official family outcast. Mom didn't seem to notice.

"I don't think that will be necessary." Her voice softened slightly, "You can tell her I was pleased to hear she's back in school."

I wasn't sure what to say next.

"I think I should concentrate on the orchids for few minutes." I wasn't surprised she wanted to ring off, that had just about exhausted our usual emotional range.

"Sure Mom. Tell Dad I said hi."

I sat outside staring at the shadow patterns on the sidewalk until the pool of sweat between my shoulder blades became a river running down to my pelvis. The sweet cool of the air-conditioning as I re-entered Seth's apartment made me silently bless the generosity of Mr. and Mrs. Wilks. I shut the bedroom door behind me and was about to take up my place on the chair again when his smile betrayed his wakefulness.

"I thought you were still asleep." I lay down next to him uninvited.

He slipped his arms around me and pulled me closer until we faced each other. "I was then. I was just lying here wondering what time it was and when you were coming."

"I've been here for a while. I just went outside to make a call. I didn't want to wake you." The closeness of his body seemed to ease away aches and pain I hadn't notice myself accumulating.

"You can always wake me," he whispered bringing his lips to mine.

We didn't speak for a long time, at least not with our words. My heart was in deep conversation with his, catching up for lost time.

Eventually he asked, "How was the exam?"

It seemed like a hundred years ago. "Fine, it was multiple choice. How bad could it be?"

"I know, when in doubt put C."

I pulled away a little. "Does that really work or is it just an urban legend?"

Seth smiled, but pulled me back again. "I've never tested it out. I would like to think that our professors are smarter than that, but it remains to be seen. Now you have one week of freedom before the real work starts."

"Summer school isn't real work?" I asked, although I knew it wasn't.

"No way. Just you wait, now you might actually have to write an essay."

I ran my fingers through his hair. "That's okay then, I've got this great boyfriend who's always available to help me with my papers."

"I'd love to meet him sometime. Because I thought you came here to get an education."

I smirked, "I came to school in Canada where the drinking age is eighteen. I came here to get laid."

Seth pretended to look scandalized. Then he leaned forward and kissed me with a passion that took my breath away. When my heart was beating fast enough I was worried it would jump right out of my chest, he pulled away. We lay there panting, staring at each other.

"Right now?" I asked.

Seth wordlessly shook his head. His lips caressed the nape of my neck. I wasn't sure what was going on, so uncharacteristically I lay still and just lingered in the pleasure of his touch.

When life seemed to have returned to normal I asked, "What was that?"

A smile spread across Seth's face. "I owed you."

"Huh?"

"On our last gig the crowd was really going wild and we were flying. When I came down off the stage I felt like the king of the world, like everything in my life was complete. I looked around for you, but you weren't there and I wasn't complete. I decided to save the moment to share with you later."

"You guys must have really rocked." I thought I sounded totally normal, I lay basking in the warmth of his body, but then I realized that Seth was still looking at me. His eyes searched for an answer to an unspoken question. I avoided meeting his gaze.

"Are you telling me about it now or do you have more avoiding to do first?" He asked.

I snuggled further into his shoulder, "This whole seeing angels in the weekend sort of threw me."

"Why?" he asked respecting my right to maintain some distance from my angst by avoiding eye contact.

"Because it's all freaking true!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him smirk.

"God is supposed to be like Santa; could be out there, probably not, but who cares as long as your parents fake it and give you presents. If Santa comes shimmying down your chimney come winter time, I'll be freaked out too."

"Especially because we have electric heating." I would have been mad at him for joking around, but I think he was trying to make it easier on me. He pulled back slightly so he could see my face.

"Are you still freaking out?"

I met his gaze. "No, I think I've got my head around it now. The world is not exactly what I thought it was. They, the People, have the things they need to be doing, but I'm not one of them. It's kind of fun to hang out on the periphery, but I don't think I'm about to start learning battle tactics."

I don't think I've sold him on the whole Angels-are-real thing, but then Tal warned me no one would believe me. It doesn't really matter.

Seth stroked my hair gently. "It must be quite overwhelming to meet someone with such intense belief."

I knew he didn't really believe me. He's just being supportive, but he's doing a good job of it.

"Lots of people believe." I squinted at him.

"No, they don't." Seth was totally serious. "Lots of people think it's comforting to hope that there might be something out there. But most people don't really believe in God. Certainly not in one that's intimately involved in the day to day running of the world. If you really thought there was a divine power that was running the world on a daily basis and watching what you were doing, you'd give your whole life to be religious too. Most people aren't seriously religious because they don't really believe. Real belief obligates you to serve, anything else is idiocy."

I looked at him like I was seeing him for the first time. "So you don't believe?" What does he believe in?

"No. I'm not arrogant and ignorant enough to presume that the whole universe is here simply as a result of random chance. I don't know what's out there. But I haven't yet chanced upon the Master of the Universe."

I wondered whether he had and he'd just missed the moment, but I didn't say anything. I said, "I'll let you know if he invites us to double date."

Seth chuckled, it seemed the idea of dinner and a show with the Creator of the World appealed to him.

Loud laughter from the living room penetrated our cocoon.

"Who's out there?" Seth asked.

"When I was last there it was Josh with Dwayne, Charlie and Bernie."

Seth sighed, "I hate to break it to you, but I'm actually rather hungry."

"Then you should eat. I wouldn't mind some lunch either." I craned my head to see the clock on the computer. "Or an early dinner," I amended.

"Are you ready to brave the world at large?" Seth stroked my cheek.

"It seems our choices are that or digesting our stomach lining."

He started to get out of bed and make his way towards the door.

"Were you going to put any clothes on?" I asked stroking his delectably muscular stomach.

Seth looked down at his sparse outfit, clearly wondering what else he required.

"Two reasons, one, I'd like to at least pretend to be discrete, and two, they will assume that you're going commando."

"I am."

I suppressed a smile. With his whole body speaking of begrudging acts performed only to please a lady, Seth put on a shirt and slipped his feet into a pair of black Toms.
Chapter 10

The orientation was as exciting as a PowerPoint presentation of the school map could possibly be. Afterward, we trudged around after our campus guide trying to take everything in without looking too much like we cared.

As we were herded down the corridor displaying historic portraits of past school presidents, a slim girl about my height with mousy brown hair in a cute pixy cut sidled over next to me. She was wearing regular jeans, Converse, a dark green singlet and numerous thin silver bangles.

"Hi, I'm Jen," she whispered, although there was no reason for the subterfuge. No one official was speaking, we were just walking from one place to another.

There was a twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm Chloe," I whispered back without moving my head to look at her.

I smiled.

"We have a problem," Jen whispered.

I turned my head to look at her, she was smirking. I nodded for her to elaborate.

"Somehow we have to navigate the transition from knowing no one to having friends without actually being seen to make friends, because as we both know it would be very uncool to admit that it's awkward when you don't know anyone."

I liked her already.

"How will we overcome this problem?" I asked keeping my tone serious.

"We will pretend to be friends, either until we become friends or until we meet other people and painlessly drift apart. Nothing attracts people to you in these situations as much as already having friends."

I nodded. "Should we shake on it?"

"No, just follow my lead."

I waited to see what would happen. She sidled away again.

When the stupid tour had finished, which blessedly did not take too long because it didn't seem like the campus guide was that fascinated either, I looked around. From the other side of the group I saw Jen heading towards me waving.

"Chloe! There you are! Hi!" She called out loudly, smiling profusely.

I took my cue and smiled back. "Hey Jen!"

Before I knew what was happening she threw her hands around me and hugged me. "Have you seen what's happening down on the lawn, there's a whole barbeque and a giant moonwalk slide thing?"

"Sounds great!" I said with the level of enthusiasm I usually saved for the under fours.

As soon as we were away from the main group, Jen burst out laughing.

"Ok, so if we're never friends again after today, I still owe you one. That was fun. Of course that was only stage one of the plan. Now we have to get to know each other quickly so that we can start on manufacturing a social group."

"Do you always approach popularity like a military operation?"

I could smell the cooking meat as we made our way down the main drive.

"Anyone can be popular as long as they have friends they don't like," Jen said with a surprisingly straight face.

"Do you mean that?" I sounded shocked.

"It's true," Jen said. "You can't be popular if you plan to stick only to people you like and want to spend time with. Thankfully, popularity is not actually my goal over here."

"It's not?"

She shook her head with a self-satisfied smile, "No, not at all. I was popular in my first high school and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. But it did let me study the science of popularity. If people think of you as desirable to know, then you have the luxury of picking out exactly which people you want to have as friends."

I immediately thought of Seth, who'd been able to wait over a year without worrying if he'd get a girlfriend waiting for me to come along.

I thought for a minute, "First high school?" I asked.

"I was in three." She explained with a shrug.

"That must be hard."

"Yes and no. My mom is excellent, and since I only had three real friends in each place, I've stayed in touch with most of them."

"Are you planning on sticking out the whole four years here?"

Jen laughed, "I hope so. I thought about renting an apartment instead of moving into res just so I wouldn't have to pack my stuff up again for four years."

"I'm not in res," I commented.

"No? Cool. I thought they have enough space for everybody these days."

"They do, I think. I came early and did summer school. I needed somewhere to live and to be honest the whole communal shower thing was one experience I could live without."

"I'm with you, sister. Thank goodness that I'm in the new res. We've got en suites. Where's your apartment? Are you living by yourself?"

I gestured behind us, "Just up the hill. We're the top floor of one of those triplex things."

We were nearly at the barbeque. There were a bunch of people milling around with hotdogs in their hands.

Jen grabbed my arm holding me back, "Quick, before we hit stage two. Where are you from? What do you plan to major in? We've already done which res. Why did you pick this fine academic institution?" Jen asked.

"El Paso, Texas. Chemical engineering. There was no essay," I shot back.

"There was no essay?" She arched one eyebrow.

"For real. I'd applied to a bunch of other schools I didn't even know if I wanted to go to and then I saw that the application from here didn't require an essay, so I applied late."

"Then came early?"

I shrugged.

"Don't worry," Jen said brightly. "If we're going to be friends there's time for you to tell me the story and if not then you can keep your secrets."

"Thanks," I said, not sure I meant it. "What about you?"

"Philadelphia, at least most recently. Whatever will get me into med school, I was thinking of political science because I hear med school is really like you take arts majors. Here it's cheap, and my parents argue over money often enough."

"Sorry," I winced.

"Mainly their lawyers argue over it, so it could be worse."

"How long have they been divorced?" I asked and hoped it wasn't too personal an enquiry.

"They're not yet. That's the problem."

"Oh." Thankfully my lame response was lost in our arrival at the barbeque area. We joined the line for a hotdog. Behind us stood a short girl with a mop of springy black hair. She was wearing a small cotton sundress, with brown leather sandals that might have been handmade, with a silver chain around her ankle.

Jen turned around to face her, "Hi, I'm Jen. This is Chloe, she's from El Paso, Texas."

The girl looked surprised then pleased. "Hi, I'm Tess. I'm from Ottawa."

It didn't take long to see the pattern. Jen made the first move, asked the person a bunch of easy questions and then introduced them to the previous acquisition. She was right, a few people together were much less threatening than one person by themselves. After a while we had quite a group going.

"Did you get your frosh assignment?" Tess asked me.

I rummaged in my bag for the piece of paper.

"I'm not even sure what I'm looking for on this thing. My group leader is Samantha Rickman."

"Oh, me too. We're in the same group," Tess exclaimed, examining her own assignment sheet.

"What are we doing?"

"I think going to every bar in the city," Tess said with a straight face.

"Is that supposed to be fun?" It sounded grueling.

"I guess after a few bars we'll be drunk enough to think it's fun."

*

As soon as she felt consciousness arrive in the Palace, Tal quickly shifted her focus to see as much detail of landscape as possible. Sima had taught her last week to strive to see the individual blades of grass. When Tal had first started ascending, their quadrant had seemed like a waste land, red brown earth throbbing with potential but barren of vegetation. Now her clarity had increased. Tal remembered the first lesson, "He Who Knows cannot enter a place that is full of self. He will enter only where we let Him in. Our work is to become a vessel. You must learn to create a space inside of you."

Tal felt the benefit of the instruction. She calmed her self and let her mind relax into the Palace like stepping into a welcome embrace. She stood on a rutted dirt track that ran through a lush meadow. It curved away from them and wound its way up a small ridge of hills. To the left, a small copse of trees stood as a demarcation between the flat lands and the higher ground. Tal breathed in the sweet air before she moved to begin their assigned task.

"I am Tal, daughter of Lana. I walk with He who Sees. May my service to You be pleasing on this day, my Lord," Tal said quietly. She shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and enjoyed the intimacy of Connection.

As she exhaled, Tal turned to her side and waited for her friend to finish reciting the benediction. Like most of them, Noy's Palace Self was similar to her physical Self; blond springy curls, high cheek bones and bright blue eyes. In the Palace Noy was slightly taller with a well-toned body that would have cost her many hours of Zumba in the physical world.

"Just guarding today, right?" Noy asked, as she finished.

"If it be His will." Tal shrugged. They never knew quite what would happen when they ascended.

"Gal said we just need to keep an eye on it." Tal pointed to the sinkhole which lay slightly to their right, glistening purple and electric blue at the edges. It couldn't have been more than half a meter in diameter, but still it was jarring to look at; a sudden emptiness in the midst of the vibrant green grass.

Tal jerked her head in that direction. "It doesn't look that bad. Are we getting all excited about nothing?"

Noy walked cautiously towards the sinkhole. "I doubt it. Gal is usually on the ball. Even if it's stable, a new sinkhole is still a new sinkhole. And Gal's the boss."

Tal groaned inwardly, she didn't need reminding that her brother called the shots. "Obviously we have to monitor it."

Noy smiled. "What else were you planning on doing tonight?"

"Nothing, I guess," Tal shrugged. "I've been working on a battle formation and I rather wanted to get back to it."

"Well, you might get to use it today." Noy sat down on a large rock by the side of the path, placing her sword between her knees. "Any luck working out what we're up against?"

"Nothing. All I got today was drums."

"Drums, dancing, it could be a pattern." Noy suggested.

"Or a bunch of random Interloper interference." Tal kept her sword in her hands, rubbing the hilt absentmindedly as she watched the landscape.

Tal felt the rush before it came. The top of her mind sensed the shift and instantly she whirled to meet the attack. Noy was already in a defensive position. The rock they had been sitting on unfolded itself to be a giant bear. Suddenly Tal saw everything in slow motion. Noy reached to pull her sword from its sheaf. Tal felt the heavy dagger in her hand. The bear's huge mouth came lunging towards her, the lips pulled back in a snarl. Impossibly sharp teeth dripped with saliva. As she felt the steaming breath on her face, Tal thrust her new dagger into the soft hide. There was a slight resistance as it punctured the skin but the knife was strong and it quickly found its mark.

The bear evaporated into a cloud of anti-light before vanishing. An arrow clattered to the left of Tal's feet. She looked up to see Dava and Gal racing towards them.

"Are you ok?" Gal's dark hair bounced as he ran..

"Just a flash fire," Noy called back cheerfully. "Tal's got it all under control."

Coming up alongside them, Gal looked at his sister quizzically. Tal concentrated.

"It's not over," she said quietly.

Gal needed no more information. "Dror, Cale, Jov to me." The three of them manifested immediately. Dror was always the muscular silent type, in the Palace he looked like the Hulk's body double. Cale's hair was still flaming red, but without the freckles that earned him merciless teasing in Elementary school. Jov had the same blond hair and blue eyes as his sister Noy, but his hair was cropped close to his head, around his waist was a leather weapons belt.

Instinctively, the group drew in, backs together.

"We're on?" Jov asked.

"Tal just took down what looked like a flash fire, but she says there's more coming," Gal said.

Dror nodded. They were coming to respect Tal's instincts.

"Over there." Cale pointed to a small ridge about five hundred meters away.

"Stay here," Gal instructed. "I think they're coming to us. The high ground is only worth anything if you stay on it. Here we can see them coming without being at a disadvantage. Usual formations, Jov keep Dava covered."

Jov squinted. Dava reached one arm behind her and drew out a longbow and two arrows.

"Nice one, Dava."

Dava nodded at Jov to indicate that now was not the time to congratulate her on her new acquisition.

Three riderless horses mounted the crest of the hill. Just visible in the foreground were two panthers. An eagle circled leisurely above.

"Can you take down the eagle before they charge?" Gal asked Dava.

"I can try. I just got this. I'm supposed to go tomorrow for instruction."

"Let's hope you don't need it."

"I haven't taken down a panther for at least a week," Dror said with a grin. Dror, six feet six in his socks, looked like he could take down a tank.

"They're coming," Tal said, a second before the charge began.

Tal felt the adrenaline fill her body, a surge of excitement, a drive making every sinew come alive similar to the surge of euphoria from hearing your favorite song on a crowded dance floor. In a split second her cognitive mind took a step back, and something else stepped to the fore. It was a skill she hardly remembered learning, to rotate her mind. Like entering the Palace at will, she'd watched her parents do it and her own natural abilities had been nurtured with such care that the whole process seemed organic.

Now there was no time for thought. To win the fight, she had to be the fight. It was almost a trance state, she could feel the others to the side of her. In that moment they would fight as one. Tal alone, as the designated Sight, would see the battle played out motion by motion. The others would experience the colors and shape by primordial drive alone.

Dava had two arrows hurtling towards the Adversaries before they came within a hundred meters. One fell far, but one of the horses was wounded. It carried on limping towards them. Dror was the first to engage leaping forward with outstretched arms. The panther leapt towards him and in seconds they were rolling on the ground. The second panther lunged at Tal, who had her sword ready but the panther fell to one side before it reached her. Cale swiftly pulled out his spear and turned his attention to the nearest horse. Gal was on the back of one horse. It bucked wildly. He had one hand planted in the mane and the other was drawing his sword.

Noy was sparring with the second horse, holding it at bay with a series of quick thrusts, but not making any ground. Cale crept to its rear left flank and was soon removing his spear from another defeated beast. The third horse suddenly shot forward, unbalancing Cale. In unison Tal and Noy attacked from either side. The horse kicked out viciously but two hooves were no match for two swords hidden in its blind spot.

Gal dropped lightly to the ground as his adversary dissolved beneath him. There was a slight click as Dror broke the last panther's neck. Noy lunged at the eagle, but only crashed into Jov's shield as the bird flew off. Jov removed his shield. He and Dava emerged unscathed. There was an almost imperceptible shift as they each allowed their intellectual minds to return. Gal surveyed the scene. His eyes threw a question to Tal.

She shook her head, "That's it for now."

"Nice work everyone," Gal said loudly. "We will continue to scan, but I think for now we can take a breather." Gal saw the relief on their faces. The team was strong and used to fighting, but even Gal felt his energy sapped.

"My parents are having a barbecue," Noy suggested.

"They didn't tell me," Jov complained.

"You were busy," Noy shot back.

"Are you home?" Gal asked Dava. She nodded, "With Cale."

"I'll pick both of you up."

One by one they went back to their bodies.

*

Tess was wrong. We didn't go to every bar in the city. But the Iguana, where Seth worked, was the seventh on the list. I'd started off trying to have a real conversation with Tess. She spent the summer doing a really cool volunteer project with inner-city youth. But by the third bar, I was chatting about nothing with a bunch of people I usually wouldn't speak to. By the time we walked into the Iguana, it felt like we were all best friends. In truth, I'd have trouble putting names to faces in the morning.

"Chloe, the hot barman just winked at you." I looked over at Seth, who did it again.

"Ahhh, he is beautiful." Alexandra from Edmonton squealed.

Our frosh leader Sam looked over and laughed, "Dream on, girls, dream on. That's Seth Wilks. He's one of Montreal's most eligible bachelors. Former editor of the campus newspaper, he graduated last year. Rumor has it that his band just got a recording contract. Seth is the ultimate challenge. Many women have tried, but his standards are unbelievably high."

"So he's gay?"

Sam laughed, "Nope, just amazingly good-looking with a great personality."

Her friend Candy joined in, "I actually heard he'd gotten a girlfriend over the summer."

"No way!" Sam was shocked.

Candy cocked her head to one side. "So they say. But listen, Froshies, Seth Wilks is the holy grail, the unattainable untouchable demigod of cool. You're welcome to try, but don't say we didn't warn you."

I'd spent half the summer going to bars with Seth, but he's not really into getting drunk. Once I got a bit tipsy when we were out and he laughed at me all the way home. Now I was honest to goodness drunk. That's my only excuse for what I did next.

"I'm going to try," I said leaping up.

Alexandra and my fellow Froshies squealed in excitement, Candy laughed and Sam rolled her eyes. It was only a Tuesday night, the bar wasn't that busy.

Still standing next to the table, I called over "Oh barman, there's something wrong with my drink. Could you please help me?"

Seth looked over, smiled and I could see worked very hard at keeping a relatively straight face. He looked over to Henri, who nodded his acquiescence. Then Seth came around from behind the bar and over to our table.

"There's something wrong with your drink?"

"It seems to have finished," I replied fighting back a smile.

"I'm not sure that you need another one," Seth replied.

"Oh, that's so sad, can I have a kiss?"

Sam started to pull me back, apologizing for my drunken behavior.

Seth looked in my eyes, "Will it help you sober up?"

I smiled back sweetly, "I think it would."

Sam paused with her hand still on my arm.

Seth reached out and cupped my chin in one hand. I leaned my whole body into his. His eyes twinkled as his lips touched mine. I shut my eyes and kissed him back with all my might.

"Oh my goodness, I think he slipped her the tongue," Alex gasped behind me.

Seth pulled away long before I had finished.

He gave me a stern look. "Now I think you'll be able to make it home. But no more drinks tonight."

I curtsied, "Only black coffee, sir."

Seth gave a curt nod, "Then my work here is done." He went back behind the bar.

I turned back to the group I'd come with. There was stunned silence. I sat back down.

"That didn't just happen," Candy was totally dumfounded.

"I don't know what you're all talking about. He seems pretty friendly to me," I said lightly.

We didn't stay that much longer. As we left, I waved to Seth. He waved back with a big grin. On the walk back to campus, which took considerably longer than it had on the way there, Candy kept looking over at me like she was assessing a rare animal.

We were all sitting around in the lawn waiting to begin our scavenger hunt of Montreal. I'd bumped into Tess as soon as I got to campus and was thankful for a friendly face. One more day like this and we might be officially friends.

"Hey girls," Jen called as she walked over, as always followed by her latest collection of newbies. "This is Sandy, Deedee and Vanessa. Ladies, this is Chloe and Tess."

Tess and I waved hello.

"Chloe, we've been here for five minutes and already I hear rumors about you," Jen said accusingly. "Did you or did you not make out with the hottest barman in town last night?"

"That was you?" interjected Deedee. "I heard he was the hottest and most untouchable."

I blushed and silently vowed not to drink again until at least tomorrow night.

"I might have," I said casually.

Tess smirked, but stayed silent. I like her more and more all the time.

"Well, you have successfully cemented your position as a player on the social scene," Jen said. I think it was by way of congratulations.

"Great," I couldn't have sounded more underwhelmed.

"Did you get his number?" Deedee asked.

"I already had it."

Her eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"Why is everyone so interested? No one else embarrassed themselves when drunk last night?"

Jen looked sympathetic to my plight. "The trouble is that no one knows each other yet. But every frosh leader made a point to stop by the Iguana so that means everyone knows who Seth is. That means that right now, your little indiscretion is the only gossip anyone has to talk about."

I was feeling nauseous again.

"Who are we talking about?" A blond girl, I think was Vanessa asked.

"That barman from the Iguana," DeeDee explained.

"The beautiful one?"

"That's the one," Jen said cheerfully.

They went on to discuss the finer points of Seth's anatomy. The Seth fan club was getting old really quickly.

As I tried to tune it out, Tess said quietly, "How do you have his number? Did you meet him in the summer?"

I nodded trying not to draw more attention to myself.

When I saw that no one was listening I added, "I was in a class with his brother. I hung out with him and a whole bunch of their friends for most of the summer."

In almost a whisper, she asked, "Are you dating?"

I smiled and nodded the smallest head movement that could still count as a nod.

Tess beamed back at me. At least someone was happy for me.

"Speak of the devil," Jen said to my left and pointed behind us where the frosh leaders had congregated. Seth had just arrived and was casually lighting a cigarette while scanning the crowd. He met my eye and in a three second glance, and with a quick eyebrow flex managed to communicate, 'Hey babe, are you coming over or are you trying to play it cool?' I gave a half a nod which said, 'I'll be over in a minute, let me make a graceful get away.'

The whole group by now had turned to look at Seth.

Two blond girls in matching unreasonably-short shorts and tank tops called over to me, "Why don't you go over to him? We hear you're well acquainted."

There were a few titters from the crowd.

I sighed and decided to just accept my fate. Being Seth Wilks' girlfriend made me a public figure whether I liked it or not. I might as well make the best of it.

"I should hope, we're well acquainted," I called back to the blond bitchy twins, "I slept in his bed last night."

Their faces were a picture which I hope Tess and Jen enjoyed because I was already on my way to go claim what was rightfully mine.

If Seth had heard that little exchange he didn't acknowledge it. He responded to my arrival the same way he would had he been alone with Josh. He had his arm out ready to wrap around me and pull me in tight against his body. When he'd finished his sentence, he excused himself to the guy he was talking to. Then he turned his full attention to me, and without breaking eye contact kissed me firmly on the lips. One kiss, long enough to be emotional, but not making a spectacle of ourselves in public. I cringed inwardly when I remembered that the only time we'd really done that besides the first night, was my drunken fiasco the night before. I'd broken the Seth Wilks code of coolness, and he'd let me. I probably owed him.

"How are you feeling?" Seth asked me still maintaining eye contact.

"Mostly better, as long as I don't think about beer."

Seth looked over to his companion who had the sort of tanned muscular body that screamed professional sports. "Andy, this is Chloe. Chloe, you'll be shocked to learn that this is Andy." I smiled and Andy nodded with as much friendliness as one guy could show another's girlfriend when introduced.

"Are you enjoying your frosh experience?" Andy asked me.

I smiled wryly. "I am, but there are all these rumors going around about me and the barman at the Iguana."

"I thought I told you never to tip Henri," Seth said to me with a laugh.

"I know, but he gave me one of those little cocktail umbrellas in my drink."

A few of the other frosh leaders came over. I tried to keep their names straight. One of the problems with hanging out with Seth was that I was always being introduced to new people without ever knowing which ones were important to remember and which were just more randoms passing by.

"Is Bret here?" I asked Seth.

"No. I don't think he's showing up until the very last minute."

"Bret's coming back?" a tall girl with lots of freckles asked.

"He's doing a victory lap," Seth chuckled. My face was blank.

"He took things rather easy and didn't take enough credits to graduation in four years so he's coming back for another semester," Seth explained to me quietly so my freshman lack of knowledge wouldn't embarrass me.

After about twenty minutes, the leaders started to get the scavenger hunt going.

"See you later," I kissed Seth on the cheek.

"You're joining in?" He asked amused.

"It's a good way to meet people," I explained. "Today I hope to meet people that I can actually remember in the morning."

"Ok, have fun." He bent to kiss me.

"Chloe, dinner?" Seth called after me as I started to walk back to Tess and Jen.

"I think so. But can it be something light? I'm still feeling a little delicate."

Seth nodded and waved goodbye.

"He cooks, too?" Asked Jen who'd come over to find me. "He is too good to be true."

"He's an awesome cook, but he doesn't really like doing the dishes and he hates doing laundry. I've had to surreptitiously take charge of his underwear rotation."

"Wow, and I've been giving you lessons on cultivating a college social life."

"I'm no big expert. I just happened to really luck out. Besides the good looks and everything, he's a really nice guy."

Jen laughed, "I actually know that he's a nice guy. He was head counselor the first year I was in camp. He won't remember me; I was just another annoying eleven-year-old snot."

"I could ask him. He has a pretty good memory for people."

Jen shrugged. It probably wasn't how she wanted to be remembered.

We walked towards the rest of our manufactured gang.

"What Chapel does your family go to?" Jen asked conversationally.

"Huh?" I did a double take.

"Chapel. Is there one in El Paso?" She clearly thought we were speaking the same language.

"I don't think I've ever been to a chapel. Does the House of Love in Vegas count? Because I was there once when we found out that my cousin Randy was trying to elope and his mother thought it would be funny if the whole family turned up too."

Jen looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time. "Aren't you one of the People? I just thought if you were dating Seth... " Her voice trailed off.

"No, I'm not one of the People," I said still slightly confused

Jen shrugged but didn't say anything.
Chapter 11

We had the place to ourselves. Josh had gone out with Andy and told Seth he didn't plan to be home until much later, which was code for "make the most of the living room while you've got it." We'd just finished dinner. Seth made curry using the new spices and then laughed at me when I was surprised that it was kind of sweet instead of hot. Apparently, only stupid westerners think all curry is hot.

We were sitting on the little balcony off the living room, the only place Seth dared smoke in the apartment his parents provided. Our chairs were pulled up next to each other. I had my head on his shoulder and his right arm wrapped around my waist. He was trying to blow the smoke away from me. It was not successful, but I was too comfy to complain.

"You know I met this new chick, Jen?"

"Jen is the one who creates an entourage wherever she goes?"

"Exactly. Well done for remembering." Seth nodded silently to acknowledge his boyfriend greatness. "She saw you the other day when we were waiting for that scavenger hunt thing to start."

"I should have told you it was rigged," Seth chuckled quietly.

"It's okay. Anyway, she saw you and she said you were the head counselor when she was in camp."

Seth shrugged, "Could be. How old is she? I don't remember all of the names of all the campers."

"She didn't expect you to remember her, that's not the point. It's just-"

Seth turned his head towards me, "What? I'm sure I didn't date her."

"No, I don't think you did."

"So what's the big stress?"

I took a deep breath and spit it out, "She asked me what Chapel my parents went to. She assumed I was one of the People, like she thought you were so I would have to be or something. I want to know if you are one of the People."

Seth cracked up.

"What's so funny?" I sat up and looked at him.

"Chloe, my name's Seth Wilks, did you think I was Irish?"

"What?"

"Come on Chlo, of course I'm one of the People. I'm Seth, my brother's Josh, my whole family are a bunch of unreasonable overachievers. It's obvious. Just like with a name like Diaz, you're clearly not Asian." He thought it was funny.

I was still mad.

"You really didn't know?" He asked, finally getting serious.

"I don't go around asking guys for their ethnic heritage before I date them. What difference does it make?"

"Exactly," Seth smiled, "What difference does it make?"

I struggled to think of an answer. "I would've just rather known," I said sulkily.

He looked me straight in the eyes. When he pulled me back in close to him I didn't object.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know about me?" He murmured as his eyes flickered from my lips to my eyes and back again. My answer was lost as he kissed me.

By the time I pulled away, my anxiety had dissipated.

"Are you likely to become an international superhero?" I asked as he stroked my hair.

I didn't need to look up. I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Worried I'm going to get all caught up in the Service like your friends? Highly unlikely. Even my grandparents, who are the most traditional in our family, don't actually serve. They give money to the Courtesans so they can serve for us, and they expect us all to show up in Chapel for the Day of Accounting. We're pretty low maintenance about the whole thing."

He paused and I felt him stiffen slightly.

"That actually fits nicely into something I wanted to talk to you about."

I lifted my head up so I could see his face. It was hard to read the emotion, guilt perhaps?

"Josh and I had a fight this morning."

"Why?" That really was surprising.

"I have to go home the weekend after next and I wanted you to come too. Josh says it's the Day of Accounting and it's the only part of our obligation our grandparents take seriously and I should just come alone."

He looked really unhappy. I clearly needed to tread lightly.

"What happens on this Day of Accounting?"

"We all go to Chapel. There's a bunch of prayers. Supposedly, you are judged for how you performed last year and you are then assigned your service for the next year. Josh and I usually try to slip a book inside the prayer book to help pass the time. Then we go home and eat this huge family meal."

"Why do you want me to come?"

"It's the big family event of the year, and you're with me."

I tried not to fall off my chair with joy. Seth thinks I'm his family.

"Why does Josh think I shouldn't come?"

"He wants to know what you are going to do while we all go to Chapel. The place my parents usually go, anyone is welcome, but my grandparents insist we go to this traditional place."

"And I won't be allowed to come."

He nodded glumly.

"He also said that the whole weekend is a big deal for Gran and Grandpa. It would be better if you and me go down to meet Mom and Dad alone in a few weeks and not throw you into the lion's den by making you do the whole family straight off."

I waited to see if he had more to say.

After a minute of silence I asked, "Who won the fight?"

He looked down, "It might have been Josh. One time my cousin Joy brought a new boyfriend and it was this big deal with people arguing in the kitchen between courses."

I reached out and stroked his cheek, "I can manage without you for the weekend. Josh has a point. Maybe it is better for me to start out slowly. I really want to meet your family, but not if it rocks the boat. I have people here to hang out with."

Seth lifted his head and kissed me with unusual force. Apparently, that had been the correct answer.

Two hours later, we were sitting entwined on the sofa watching TV. In the commercial break, I asked, "Did I tell you that I made a new friend?"

"A new, new one, not from Frosh?"

"Definitely not from Frosh. Her name is Ida Hols and she's ninety-two."

"Yeah, most of the mature students skip the whole frosh experience. I presume you're waiting for me to ask where you met Ida?"

Before I could answer, he held up one finger to stop me. I watched him think.

"She's one of the wrinklies from the old age home with Tal," he said triumphantly.

"Well done. I think I'm going to go every week. It's actually fun. This week I even recognized some of the tunes. I don't have class on Tuesday afternoon and you have band practice then, so it should work out well."

Seth flicked the volume down on the TV and stroked my hair with the other hand.

"What do you like about them so much?" He asked.

"The elderly?"

"Your Footman, Service-doing People friends. Why are they so interesting?"

I thought about it for a minute. "The cheap answer is that it's cool. They fight these battles and they're risking their lives and what they do really matters. It doesn't matter what you and I do. What grades I get, how well the band does, which weekend we go together to Boston. None of it really matters to anyone else. What they're doing has an impact on the whole world, even if the world doesn't realize it."

I turned slightly so I could see in his eyes. "The real answer is a bit weirder." I paused. I had his full attention. I was scared to say the next sentence but Seth made me safe. As he looked back at me I felt I could say or do anything and he would remain.

"They really live with Him, He Who Knows. He isn't just like the force of gravity, something that's out there and convenient when you need it, but not really worth thinking about in between. For them, He's a real person, if you know what I mean. They have a relationship with Him. All of their effort is to come closer to Him. It's like the ultimate love affair. I'm blown away by that closeness."

"Is that something you want?" he asked softly.

"Closeness with Him?" I shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like a package deal. I don't think you can just be like, "I'll have one portion of closeness with a side serving of excitement, but leave out the sacrifice and dedication." I think you have to go all the way. Also I have closeness." I squeezed him so he'd know I meant him.

He didn't respond straight away. I looked at him, searching for a response. I couldn't read his face.

"What if you didn't have to go the whole way?" He asked carefully.

I wrinkled my brow, I wasn't sure what he was getting at. "Who wouldn't want that?"

Seth pulled me close to him. I was surprised by the jubilation behind his kiss.

Seth is Mr. Philosophically Agnostic, what does he care if I believe or not?

Mrs. Ida Hols had saved me a seat. I was slightly early. It was my third time coming and I'd finally convinced Tal that I didn't need her driving all the way downtown to pick me up.

The aides were still wheeling in the elderly. Mrs. Hols was one of the first in the room. She waved me over. "Good afternoon Mrs. Hols, how are you feeling today?"

She licked her wizened lips with the tip of her tongue and it reminded me of a turtle.

"One of the things you have to put up with at my stage of life is people constantly asking you how you are feeling, as though you were suffering from a terminal illness and might drop dead at any minute."

Instead of being insulted, I smiled, "Some might say that life is a terminal illness."

"Only the young would say that."

"What would you call it?" I asked sitting down.

"An adventure." Her eyes dared me to disagree.

"That's a good attitude." I hoped I didn't sound too patronizing.

"It's probably the only one that works. I buried two husbands before my children put me in here. I lived in three different countries, now I'm not good for much except some cheery clapping. If I didn't hold onto the option that at any moment, anything could happen, then it might get depressing."

"Do you mind living here?" Did her kids just dump her?

"No, it's quite nice. The food's good. My daughter lives just around the corner and my son down the street. There's always someone coming in to visit. My alternative was watching my daughter-in-law pretend I wasn't a burden."

I nodded, trying to look sympathetic.

"It's hard when you get old. I spent years doing very active Service. Now my Service is somewhat limited."

"You miss it?" I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.

"If you have to ask that, then you've never done it." She squinted at me. "You're not one of us, so what are you doing here, dearie?"

"I came to help my friends," I smiled brightly.

She eyed me suspiciously. "It's not easy to get in, you know. Nowadays all sorts are making the Quest, but in my day they were few and far between. It's long and hard and most give up. They run off to some guy in a dress who calls himself Guide, and get a certificate saying they entered the Palace after a semester of evening classes. They're no more in the Palace than Marian over there."

I glanced over to Marian who was wearing black leggings masquerading as capri pants and an abundant leopard print shirt.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," I said, although I was pretty sure I did.

"Maybe you don't, but bear it in mind. There's only one way to get into the Palace, and that's through the front door. If you're not prepared to do the whole Service then there's no point trying."

I considered protesting that I wasn't trying to do any Service, I just liked spending time with the elderly. I was about to give some bland response she would have seen straight through, when Tal saved me by walking through the door guitar in hand.

She smiled when she saw me, "Oh good, you made it. We're in for a treat today. Gal and Dava came today too."

Her brother and the chick with the mousy brown hair that was at their house for the Dinner wandered over to the little stage area. In actual fact, it was just where Marian had cleared away some of the chairs, but it was as close to a stage as any one was going to get in the activities room. Gal pulled up two extra chairs for them and they took their places. Jov waved hello at me as he took his place.

Marian seemed to have disappeared so Cale just started playing. It was the same opening number as always, the one that seemed like a prayer. Now that the music and the setting were familiar, I felt brave enough to try sliding my mind with Tal's. I couldn't get a clear picture. There were swirls of pink and sunflower yellow. Something beautiful was happening but I couldn't tell what.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mrs. Hols staring at me again. After a minute she seemed to make a decision. "They're thanking He Who Gives for life and for enabling us to make the Service," she whispered.

I guess she really wasn't deaf because she pitched her comment exactly right for me to hear clearly but for no one else to overhear. I nodded and smiled. I didn't want to say anything and break my concentration.

When the song ended, it felt like a curtain had dropped over the stage. As Dava began singing the next song, it was obvious that we had changed scenes. Her voice was spectacular. The notes seemed to weave higher and higher as Tal, Noy and Jov harmonized and Gal strummed the guitar. I didn't recognize the language. The song itself sounded as old as time. The melody flowed up mountains and across oceans. I was almost lulled to sleep. In contrast, Mrs. Hols was remarkably alert. I vaguely wondered if I'd eaten too much lunch. Another thirty seconds and I'd have been asleep. Later it occurred to me that was the point. Just as my eyes closed, the attack came.

It started with a feral snarl somewhere to my left. For a second I saw Tal still strumming her guitar, Dava and Noy were still singing, and Cale's hands didn't even pause on the piano. Like a badly developed photo superimposed on their calm performance, I saw each straighten and clasp their weapons for battle. Dava pulled an arrow from the quiver on her back as a bow materialized in her hands. Behind her Tal gripped the hilt of her sword with both hands. Cale readied his spear. A low rumbling that was almost more threatening than the original snarl announced the enemy getting closer and closer. This beast was in no hurry to attack. A matching snarl from the right made it clear that they were in no hurry to attack.

When they came into view, I realized that my hands were trembling. This was no species that walked the face of the earth. It was big like a bear with a face like a wolf, but no wolf was that big, no bear that light on its feet. Its fur was jet black, only emphasizing the double row of bared teeth. The jaw looked large enough to snap a person in two. With heads cocked to one side, they stopped about five meters away and looked the defenders up and down.

Tal was white with fear. Jov looked like he was about to throw up. Apparently they had never seen anything like it either. I could tell they were thinking what I was thinking: how the hell were they going to defeat these things and still walk away? I remembered what Tal had told me, if you die in the Palace, you die in the physical world too.

Am I just supposed to sit here and watch them die?

I looked around wildly and nearly fell out of my chair. When I took my focus off the immediate battle scene, I was still in the beige walled old age room. The elderly were all still sitting there in their chairs; some of them were still clapping. Mrs. Hols was muttering something under her breath. I stared at her.

She looked up, "Just keep clapping, dearie. We don't want Marian to notice anything funny going on."

Anything funny going on? My friends were about to be mauled to death by some quasi-mythical beasts and we were worried about Marian getting the wrong impression.

I opened my mouth to say something.

"Don't worry love, we're on it."

If I had retained power over my body, I might have slapped her. Instead I just watched. I hadn't noticed that she was holding a small book in her hands. I looked from the book to her face.

She paused for breath and said quickly, "Supplications. They need more firepower."

I felt pressure building in the seat next to me. Mrs. Hols spoke faster and faster, her wrinkled hands flicking the pages as she went. After a lifetime, that was probably no more than half a minute, I thought I saw an ax head hover in front of her.

I looked back to the battle. The beasts were inching closer. Suddenly two things happened, the color returned to Tal's cheeks, and she seemed to grow taller. At the same time a heavy wooden stick with a double headed axe appeared in her hands. I didn't dare look at Mrs. Hols, but it seemed like the extra firepower had arrived. The others now also brandished new weapons. Presumably, all of the other elderly were busy doing what they could.

My heart began to beat again. Now they might actually win. At least they might walk away from it alive. Do those things ever just retreat? I'm not sure if I missed the signal but one the beasts leapt in attack. Dava shot off her arrow, hitting the left beast in the eye. It didn't pause for a second. Noy was closest to its giant paws. As the thing bore down on her, she ducked and rolled under it. Tal swung the pike and the axe lodged behind its left ear. She jumped to the side, retrieving her pike and swinging wildly again as soon as it was free from the beast's flesh. Noy had disappeared but as the beast reared suddenly in the air, I saw her roll out from underneath it, a bloody dagger in her hand.

On the other side, Dava seemed to be holding the beast at bay with a barrage of arrows. Cale flexed his muscles and hurled a spear into the side of the attacking animal. I counted five other spears still lodged in its hide, making it look like a really angry pincushion. Gal held a large sword, but he could hardly get close enough to use it. Jov was creeping around to the side of the snarling animal. Just as it looked like he might get close enough to attack – it wheeled around and sent him flying with one flick of its head. Jov landed awkwardly and seemed unable to get up again.

Even with the extra firepower, it wasn't working. They were only just managing to hold them at bay. Do they just keep going until they drop from exhaustion? A quick glance around me showed that the elderly were still doing their thing. For every spear Cale threw another arrived in his hands but it didn't seem to be enough. My mouth was dry and I had to remind myself to breath.

Would You really let them die here with everyone watching? What about Marian? What would happen? Would they just drop dead here in the middle of the activities room? Would they do an autopsy? How would anyone explain away five young people just dying in the middle of the afternoon?

I didn't want to watch the battle, but I couldn't draw my eyes away. They were going to get massacred and I was just sitting and watching. As I felt despair washing over me, something changed. At first I didn't see him, I just saw the shift in their posture. I registered surprised and relief.

"About time," Mrs. Hols whispered under her breath.

Soon I saw what they were all looking at. The beasts moved closer to each other and further away from the approaching horse. I skipped that horsy stage when I was younger, but this thing was certainly not My Little Pony. Its hazel flank glistened, standing at least as tall as the black beasts. It moved with the calm of a body builder breaking up a playground fight. The beasts still snarled but the edge had gone out of their menace.

It took me a while to realize the most unusual thing about the approaching horse; it had a rider. In all the times I'd seen the Palace through Tal's eyes, the animals had been the forces of the Adversary. The regal figure in robes rode the glistening horse like a farmyard pet. His sword was blinding as he drew it from beside him. With a tiny twitch of his heel the horse surged forward. With one swoop, the head of the first beast lay on the floor and the return thrust finished off the second. As suddenly as it had started, it was over. The hood of the rider's long mauve robes covered his face, but he seemed to bow to Tal and the others before he too disappeared.

My head pounded as the pictures snapped back into one and the activities room returned to being the only thing I saw. Gal wiped his brow, Tal shot me a smile of relief. Dava held one long note as she ended the song I hadn't heard, continuing in the present. The elderly clapped with extreme enthusiasm. Their shining eyes made it clear they were acknowledging a job well done in more ways than just singing.

I expected us to pack up and go home, but they made their way through the usual six songs including the one with the hand movements. When they finally finished, the aides were already congregating to take the elderly back to their rooms.

"You're good for a bit more than just clapping," I said to Mrs. Hols as the silent Asian lady helped her up.

Mrs. Hols winked and smiled.

"See you next week," I called cheerfully as she shuffled off.

She paused, lent on the aide's arm and turned back for a minute. "I'm here all week long if you fancy stopping by any other time."

I smiled warmly and wondered if that was an invitation or a prophecy.

I walked over to the "stage." Before I could speak, Gal said, "Everyone in the car." It was clearly an order.

I started to mumble something about catching the metro.

"You too," Gal said looking right at me.

It was a good thing that Tal's mom drove an SUV, we all piled in. When the last instrument was safely in the trunk and the doors shut behind us, we all sat in silence.

Quietly, I asked Tal next to me, "Who was that guy?"

"A Courtesan."

I waited for someone to explain. No one did, they all looked way too shaken up to remember I was there.

"What do we do now?" Noy looked around her.

Cale shrugged, "It's out of our hands."

Tal shook her head, "I just don't get that vibe."

"Your Sight hasn't exactly been 20-20 recently. You didn't see the Court coming."

Tal recoiled from Cale's obvious insult.

"She can't be expected to see everything," Dava retorted with uncharacteristic firmness. "We need Guidance. It's clear now that this isn't like anything we've dealt with in the past."

Jov nodded, "We're playing in the big leagues now."

"It's not a game," Tal spat back.

Jov's face stayed very still, "Dava's right, we should go for Guidance."

"But we go every week," Noy muttered.

Gal lifted up his head, sighed and turned around in the driver's seat. "That's not what she meant. She didn't mean Guide Leb, she meant Guide Berg."

"From the Council of Guides?" I could see Noy making quick mental calculations.

Jov whistled under his breath, "The big league."

"Isn't that overkill?" Tal asked.

Gal shook his head slowly, "No. I don't think so. We all see that this thing is really big. Now the Courtesans are involved. We've thrown nearly everything we have at this thing and we're barely holding our own. If we're going to have a chance of beating it, we need more firepower."

"Will you set up a meeting?" Dava asked.

"I think the Council sits on Tuesdays. I'll see if they can fit us in for tonight. As many of us as possible should try to be there."

"What if there are no appointments free? What if next week is too late?" Noy sounded ever more panicked.

Dava put her hand on Noy's shoulder, "Then He Who Knows runs the world."

Noy let out a deep sigh and smiled slightly sheepishly, "Yeah, He does. Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize for being nervous," Gal said kindly, "A healthy dose of concern is right on target about now."

Jov put up his hand, "Should we cancel the Serf program?"

"My goodness, no. That might be the only edge we've got. Don't you dare stop it, if anything, we might need to put even more energy into it."

Jov looked at Gal. A smile spread across his face. "Really? Because I had this idea. It's a bit more radical than anything we've done before."

Gal nodded for Jov to continue.

"We rent an apartment. Then we have a base. We can host meals on the Day of Connection and on the holidays. We could have late night jam sessions. If we make it really cool with couches and free drinks then people will come and hang out." His eyes were shinning.

"How is this different from the Student Center?" Gal asked slowly.

"The Student Center is an official thing. It's not got the right atmosphere to get past the Interloper. Also, it's non-denominational so they have to cater to the Reinterpreters. How are you supposed to enter the Palace for the first time, if there's a bunch of bozos running around in long robes all over the place?" The tone of his voice didn't leave much room to reinterpret Jov's lack of love for the Reinterpreters, whoever they were.

We all waited for Gal to respond. He nodded slowly.

"I really like it. You're right, it's radical, but out of the box is what we need. Can you put together some sort of plan in writing? Even a rough outline will be better than nothing when we go to the Council."

Jov nodded seriously.

Gal scanned the packed car, "Tal, you and Jov walk Chloe to the metro stop. Dava, I'll drop you at home, pick up your car and come back for them. Noy, you be ready to work on a report for the Council. I'll see what strings need to be pulled to get an appointment for today. Cale, I'm sorry to ask you to go back in, but I think you and Dava should patrol. If this plan is the way forward, we should expect another attack before we go to the Council."

He ran his hands through his hair. "Everyone ready?" he asked, cracking a smile. The tension was palpable as we all tried to smile back.

As we got out of the car, I pretended not to hear Jov say quietly to Gal, "Do we tell her everything?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gal shrug, "I don't think we have a choice. How were we supposed to know she'd believe us? Now she knows this much, a whole truth is less dangerous than half the truth."

We were walking towards the metro before I spoke. "You know I really can walk myself, I think you guys have more important things to be doing now."

Tal blushed as she smiled slightly. "If this is the Service Gal assigned us, it means he thinks we have to do it."

"He's worried about what effect you're having on the mission so he wants us to debrief you," Jov said bluntly. "So go on, ask away."

I thought for a second. I wasn't sure it was a compliment, but I was way too curious to play it cool. "Who was the guy? What's a courtesan?"

Tal looked to Jov. "They're the Jedi Knights of the Palace. We're only Footmen. They're in a whole other league from us. We Serve, but we also go to school, have jobs, go to the movies from time to time. Besides the Service our lives are fairly normal."

"Their lives are the Service," Tal interjected.

I stopped walking and faced her. "They're monks?"

Tal shook her head, "They do get married and have kids, but that is part of their Service. Some of them have jobs, but their jobs are dedicated to the Service. They try to live so that they never leave the Palace. They don't have TV's, they try not to use the Internet, they have their own special newspapers. They live a whole life apart. For them the Palace is everything."

"Wow, that's intense."

Jov nodded, "It makes them the best. A lot of them don't work; they spend all day learning the Way. The battles we fight are child's play compared to what the Courtesans are doing. They're like an army. When you see them in the Palace it's awesome."

There was a strange tingling in my arms.

"What was one doing in your battle?'

"They turn up when needed," Tal shrugged. I wondered what she was downplaying.

"You might not be shocked to learn that the Palace and the physical world are not exactly directly parallel." Jov waited to check I was following him. I nodded.

"We fight together so we can see each other in the Palace, but otherwise your position and standing in the Palace depends on your own spiritual progress. I almost never see my parents in the Palace, they're in a totally different zone."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tal shudder at the possibility of seeing her parents in the Palace. I'm not sure I'd want to deal with my parent's inner selves either.

"The Courtesans are working on a higher level, occasionally they get called in to help us out. In times of great need we all fight together. We've never had to deal with anything big enough to get on the Courtesans radar. You saw how easy it was for him to defeat those two monsters. It's not comfortable to admit you need that kind of help."

"But aren't you all on the same team?"

"Yep, but we also all have an Interloper. Who wants to admit they can't manage?"

Tal shifted uncomfortably.

In a flash of insight I asked her, "Why don't you like them?"

She looked down. "My brother-in-law is kind of becoming one, and he's taking my sister with him. They're not like us."

I pursed my lips, "But I thought they were the mega-cool fighters. Shouldn't you be pleased your sister is becoming all ninja?"

"It's kind of complicated," Tal shrugged uncomfortably.

"It's one thing to be part of the Scoobies, but to really be a Slayer means you stand alone." Jov explained.

"But you said there are loads of them."

"But they're not us," Tal said quietly.

I didn't pretend to understand, but I let it go. There was clearly a lot of back story I wouldn't grasp on a street corner.

"Who are the Reinterperters?" I asked instead.

Tal rolled her eyes, "The opposite extreme."

Jov flashed Tal a warning glare as he started to respond. "It's another group of People. Are you shocked to learn we're not just one big happy family who agree on the best way of doing things all the time?" Jov asked with Force 9 snark alert in place.

"What with the all those Interlopers trying to knock you off track?" I smiled back. I was glad at least someone spoke my language.

Jov looked serious as he started the actual explanation. "All the People are connected to the Palace in some way. The more connected you are, the more you can See. Most of the Reinterpreters are Serfs, which means that they're connected to the Palace, but that their sight is limited."

"They don't actually believe in the Palace," Tal jumped in. "They think it's a religion. They just want to feel connected to their heritage, so they go around in robes and wave paper swords and call it Service." Tal sounded really angry. "If you don't want to Serve, don't Serve. It's bad enough that we have to work twice as hard to keep the Serfs out of the trouble, but they pat themselves on the back for faking it. You can't really blame them; most of them weren't born into Service so they don't know any better.

Jov looked at Tal again, then added calmly, "The real problem is that there's only so far into the Palace you can get with them."

"Huh?" I had the feeling many years' worth of politics and prejudice were being summarized for me. I placed a mental post-it note "may contain propaganda," on the discussion.

"It's not actually all or nothing. Obviously it would be ideal if all the People performed Service full time. We should all be Courtesans, but in the real world any bit helps. The People who turn up to Chapel three times a year and stumble their way through the prayers, you can't imagine the effect they have on the Palace. He Who Sees knows where everyone is standing. The worth of your Service depends on who you are. Someone who is born and raised a Court doesn't get much reward for not eating bugs, but a Serf who picks the lettuce out of their burger gets big points. But because the Reinterpreters teach that the Palace isn't really real, they prevent their followers from moving forward with their Service. They are Serving, but they can't get any further into the Palace. To make the leap forward you have to believe the Palace exists."

"Why do they do it?" It seemed beyond pointless.

"Their Interlopers blind them to the truth," Tal replied witheringly. "They think the Service is just a bunch of rules made up by men. They think we should "update" our religion."

There wasn't much I could really say. It seemed that they had covered all the main points because we started walking towards the metro again.

"All the Courtesans have horses?" I asked.

"No," Jov smiled, "He was a Knight."

I raised my eyebrows indicating my readiness for an explanation.

Jov sighed happily. He really enjoyed explaining this stuff. "I'm afraid it's complicated. Your level, Serf, Maidservant, Bootboy, Footman, Courtesan etc., is the area in which you're working. But your standing in the Palace says how well you're doing at it. A Courtesan who is losing his battle with his Interloper could have a lower standing than a Maidservant who is on a roll."

I nodded to show I was following.

"A Knight is a certain standard in controlling your Interloper."

"It's one of the best," Tal added.

"A Knight has their Interloper enough in check that they can use it for their own purposes."

"Unlike the rest of us who are just working to stop it from derailing us from the mission." Tal muttered under her breath.

"The robes were a sign he was a Courtesan, and the horse was a sign he was a Knight. This means he really had it together. If he showed up it means that the Big Bad is really big, so now you're going to the head honcho Guides to find out what to do?" I summarized tentatively.

"Exactly," Jov beamed with pleasure as his pupil got the picture.

"I've got one more question. The elderly were helping you or something by praying, but why didn't they just get in there and join the fight? I know they're old and everything, but surely all together they would have been able to do something."

Tal and Jov both suppressed smiles.

It was Tal who answered, "You can't fight someone else's battle. The best you can do is perform Service and direct it toward that person."

"That's what they were doing with the praying thing?"

Tal nodded. "Most of them are holding at such a high level in the Palace that even a few words of prayer from them has a huge effect in the Palace. They've had a lifetime to work on it. We are really just beginners in comparison."

I looked at the small, squat metro station. There wasn't much to see. They were pretty much the same the whole city over. I couldn't think of any more questions. I'd need a dose of downtime before I heard any more.

"Good luck. Let me know what I can do to help. I see you've got your work cut out for you."

With my head still spinning, I waved goodbye as I passed thought the metro turnstile.

*

Tal and Jov watched Chloe pass through the metro gates.

"That's it?" Jov laughed. "Good luck with it and try not to get killed?"

Tal shrugged, "What do you want from her; it's not her fight?"

"It's just so weird. She seems so interested, but like it's only the newest reality TV show. She wants to know what's going to happen next, but it doesn't actually touch her. Like it's not really real, or something." Jov struggled to explain.

Tal didn't notice any lack of eloquence. "Yep. On the plus side she doesn't seem likely to defy us or try to use the Palace against us."
Chapter 12

Tal was so shocked when I grabbed her arm and spun her around in the science building corridor that I felt rather guilty. But not that guilty: it had been three days.

"Are you ok? What's happening? What did the Council say? I've been worried sick. I thought you might be dead," I asked as Tal tried to catch her breath.

She laughed.

I narrowed my eyes. "Last time I saw you you were fighting for your life, then you totally disappear for three days. What was I supposed to think?"

"That I was busy?" Tal smirked.

"Maybe," I conceded. "But what's going on?"

"I'm not dead."

I glowered back at her.

She smiled and got serious. "Gal was able to get us into the Council. They said that we are dealing with something really big."

"Didn't you know that?" I felt like I'd missed about ten installments of my favorite soap opera.

"Yes, but we didn't know what it was. The Council says that someone was sent from the Throne Room to the physical world to complete a mission. Right now there is some sort of crossroads, whether they go on the path to complete the mission or fall totally to the Adversary hangs in the balance."

"Came from the Throne Room? I thought you only go there after you're dead."

"You do. This person was reborn."

I cocked my head to the side, "You guys believe in reincarnation?"

Tal nodded.

"Who knew?"

Tal smiled again, "We did. Remember the whole, 'We tell everyone the truth and no one really listens thing'?"

I chose to ignore her smugness. "Some messianic figure is walking around about to blow it?"

"Not necessarily the messiah, but someone key to the Final Battle."

"Can't you just ask them to stop?"

Tal chuckled, "They probably have no idea. We don't know if it's a man or woman, a Serf or a Courtesan. It could be anyone. The Guides are guessing that it might be someone either young or connected to the university if we have been assigned to close the sinkhole."

"You have to stop someone from doing something, somewhere, and it could be anyone doing anything, anywhere in the world?"

Tal shut her eyes and nodded, "But most likely someone young in Montreal doing something that could be stopped."

Someone on campus is walking around unknowingly aligned with the forces of Evil. My bag of books felt really heavy on my back. I was tired just thinking about it all.

Tal tried to cheer me up. "They loved Jov's plan though. They even gave us seed money. That's what I've been busy with. We think we found an apartment. We're going to sign on it this afternoon. It's right in the middle of the ghetto with a big open living space perfect for large groups and a couple of rooms upstairs that we could use for small classes. It won't be ready for this week, but we're hoping to be ready to have Day of Accounting prayers and a meal next week."

"That's great. Can I help?" Then I wondered if it was a People only sort of activity. "Am I allowed to help?"

"We need all the help we can get, and... " Tal beamed, "Gal asked the Council and you can even come to the meals if you like!"

"Wow, thanks!" seemed like the appropriate response although I wasn't quite sure why it was such a big deal. I didn't really need the free food, but with Seth away it might be fun. Although, there was a certain irony in avoiding getting bored at his family religious gathering by attending someone else's religious gathering.

"If we can get the keys today, then we're going to go over on Sunday to paint and start cleaning up. I'll text you the address if you're up for painting."

Sunday is usually Seth day. Tal saw me pause to see how it all fit into my head.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to. It's not your Service."

I put my hand up for her to stop. "No, I do want to help. I often spend Sunday with my boyfriend."

Tal smiled and blushed slightly at the mention of a boyfriend.

"I'd really like to help so why don't we keep in touch on Sunday and I'll see what I can do?" I hoped I didn't sound too lame.

Tal smiled reassuringly. "There will be lots of things to do after Sunday also. We need to put up flyers and try to get the word out so we can have as many People coming as possible. If we get a nice sized crowd then that means we need a lot of food, and we have to get tables and chairs from somewhere. Painting is the tip of the iceberg."

"I'll try to dedicate all my boyfriend-free time to the cause."

Seth ran to the corner to get milk, and, I presume, more smokes. He knows I don't really like him smoking so he didn't mention that part. I actually managed to find my phone in the pocket of last night's pants before it stopped ringing.

"It's before midday, are you in the ER again?" I ask.

Spike chuckles, "Nope. I just woke up in a strange bedroom, started freaking out because I couldn't remember how I'd got there or who I was with. I checked the room for possible escape routes and potential weapons should the need arise. I was just wondering whether I should try to talk my way out of it and what I'd say to Fred, when I realized this is my own room. I'm in the stupid dorm, and I was too lazy to put my posters up yet."

"Sounds like time for drastic action."

"That might be why I'm calling. Want to come to Boston?"

I scanned my room, it was homey in a I-never-spend-enough-time-here-to-clean-it sort of way.

"Right now?"

"It's only a six-hour drive."

I waited to see if she was serious.

There was a pause.

"Maybe not right now."

"Do you want to actually tell me what you've been up to? I thought you met some cool kids."

"Yeah. Ok, this Samantha chick from Virginia is cool and down the hall from her is Manjit. For a guy who went to some preppy New Hampshire private school he's remarkably worth it. There was a girl with pink highlights in my Western Philosophy class, but I didn't catch her name."

I pulled my legs up to my chest and leaned back against the pillows.

"You are going to make friends. It's quality not quantity, remember."

"Yeah, I know." Something else was clearly bugging her. Spike was usually more proactive about these matters. Jen reminded me much of Spike's approach to life.

"How's the school work part of life?" I felt like my mother probing for information.

"Fine. I actually had to engage my brain at more than one point last week. Quite a novelty."

I had a flash of inspiration. "What's it like being in school with just the smart kids?"

There was another pause. Since Spike had been the smartest kid in every educational institution she'd attended since kindergarten, being normal or nearly normal might be something of a surprise.

"There was this guy in two of my classes who's a freaking genius. He left the whole class in the dust. He must have already finished the reading list. And he didn't even have the decency to be an uber-nerd. He was pretty normal looking."

"Date him."

"What?" I could just see her whole face scrunched up in shock and horror.

"Date him."

"Why? What about Fred?" At the edge of her voice there was just a hint of interest.

I smiled to myself and was glad Spike couldn't see. "Look, don't break up with Fred over it. But should things not work out, and four years of college is a long time, then keep it in mind and consider dating him. Anyone who can knock you for six from the other side of a lecture hall is worth keeping an eye on."

It didn't take Spike more than a second to process and move on.

"How's Mr. Wonderful?"

"You want to meet him?"

"You really want to drive down?" She'd obviously discarded that suggestion.

"Not actually today. In a few weeks' time we're due to drive down on the weekend so I can do the big meeting-the-parents ritual. I'm not going all the way to Boston without at least making a drive by, and it's about time you met Seth in person."

"Cool, sorry about the parental part though." She sounded perkier. I guess it was good timing all around. "Are you doing anything besides Seth? What's with the Angel girl?"

"She's not an Angel."

"Sorry, my bad, defender of the universe."

I hate the fact that it's so easy for Spike to make it sound so lame. I didn't reply.

"Come on chica, it's just begging to be mocked."

"It's serious." I sounded way too prissy.

"Can I reserve my judgment, but take it seriously for you?" Her tone was conciliatory.

"I guess so," I said begrudgingly.

"Did they win the fight yet?" Spike was a really good actress, she sounded genuinely interested.

I couldn't be bothered to continue the argument and I needed someone to talk to about it all.

"No. It just got way worse. They're about to try some new offensive."

"Guns?"

"Guitars."

"Huh?" I loved it when I could stump her even for a second.

"The fighting is all on the higher spiritual plain. Down here they need to find ways to inspire People to be spiritually connected, hence the guitars."

"They're going to try busking?" She didn't try to hide her cynicism.

"They rented this apartment that they're going to use for gigs, jam sessions, big potluck meals, poetry readings; a whole bunch of things."

"Then they can slip the propaganda in the back door, a little after dinner brainwashing?"

I chuckled despite myself. "Drug the After Eight mints? Not at all. Everything is totally out in the open. No one has to do anything if they don't want to. They say it doesn't work unless you do it of your own free will. The point is just to get past the Interloper."

"That's the whole possession thing?" Maybe Spike wasn't just faking the interest. But then again, she did have a good memory for detail.

"Yeah, if they can get it to shut up for a few minutes, then even the most unconnected of the People can see the Palace. Seeing the Palace is unbelievably pleasurable."

"Basically it's like some guy coming over and saying, 'Can you do me a favor and help me finish up this keg of beer over here, the catch being that you'll have a great time in the process?' "

"Exactly."

I wondered if I should think about getting dressed. I wasn't really planning on spending all day in pajamas. At some point I needed to go help paint.

"Are these People stupid?"

"What?"

It might be nearly eleven but it was still too early in the morning for an abrupt change of direction.

"These People; they're destined to be superheroes. God will rearrange time and space to help them do it. If they fight the good fight then they are filled with the ultimate pleasure. But some of them look over the whole package and still say no thanks? Are they totally retarded?"

I got up and wandered aimlessly over to the window. Seth wasn't back yet.

"I don't really get it, either. Tal says you can't understand if you don't have an Interloper. Did I tell you Seth is one of them?" I knew that I hadn't.

"Seth is one of the People? He's clearly not a superhero one." I could hear her eyebrows shoot skywards.

"I just found out a few days ago. I keep wanting to ask him why he doesn't Serve. He's so chilled about it. He does the very bare minimum and reckons that's enough. Maybe it is, what do I know?"

"Hey, maybe you could become one of them, too."

I sighed. "Don't think I haven't thought about it, but I hear it's really hard. There's some epic quest thing you have to complete to get in. I'm not sure what Seth would say if I suddenly started popping off to go fight the forces of darkness."

"You could fight together." Spike sounded really upbeat, but then she loves a challenge. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to sign up just for the kicks.

"Except that everyone looks different in the Palace. You see their spiritual self, and sometimes they are totally unrecognizable. Also, where you are in the Palace depends on your spiritual standing. Your best friend in the physical world could be a thousand miles away in the Palace."

Spikes capacity to feign interest lasted only so long. "Fair enough, cheerleading is also a champion sport."

I laughed, "With cuter outfits. You're actually right. Apparently, the rest of us mere mortals get to the Throne Room by believing, living basically moral lives, and staying out the way of the People."

"Just don't fuck it up? That's our big mission?"

"Something like that, oh and don't eat the live flesh off an animal."

"Damn. Well, there go my weekend plans!"

"Yeah tell me about it."

"Do you think He maybe likes us better? It sounds like we get a much easier deal over here."

I shrugged, "I think that's the answer to how come some of them don't bother Serving."

"Who can blame them?"

Seth popped his head around the door. I smiled and waved. He came and kissed my neck, smelling of fresh cigarette smoke.

"Is that lover-boy back?" Spike asked suspiciously. "Tell him I'm only agreeing to hang out with him if he can keep his hands to himself. I like to keep my lunch where it's supposed to be."

"Seth, Spike says 'Hi' and she can't wait to meet you."

Seth wrapped his arms around my waist. "You can tell her I'm eagerly anticipating our meeting too, and I'll try to behave but if she's really worried she should skip lunch."

I laughed, Spike swore. "The phone is right next to my head," Seth explained.

"On that happy note, Spike I'll talk to you later."

I hung up and turned my attentions to my best friend baiting boyfriend.

"What are you doing today?"

Keeping his arms on my waist, he took a step back to size me up.

"What's the ulterior motive?"

I smiled, "What do you mean?"

"You didn't ask me what we are doing today, you asked me what I'm doing today which would suggest you have something you wanted to do alone. Why don't you just tell me what you're doing today, and I'll say 'sure have a good time,' then I can make my plans without my hands tied behind my back."

I looked down at my hands. He nodded for me to speak and not avoid.

"Tal and the superheroes, as you like to call them, rented an apartment to be some sort of student Chapel. Today they're painting it to get it ready before the weekend. She asked if I'd go and help and I said only if I wasn't doing anything with you." I tried to avoid making eye contact, which was hard because he was standing right in front of me.

"I always want to do things with you. I like sitting on the balcony reading the newspaper, just chilling with you it makes it a 'thing' instead of time suckage. But if you're busy I have stuff to do without you. You can just tell me you need to go do something."

"But I don't want to you to think I'm ditching you." I hated the fact I sounded like a whiny little girl.

Seth chuckled, "My ego is still intact. Do you think you'll be done by the evening? Shall we do dinner? I found a great recipe for Turkish stuffed vine leaves I've been wanting to try out. Maybe I'll pop down to the farmers market before heading over to the Tams."

I stepped closer and held him tight. In the pit of my stomach, there was a sinking feeling but I didn't want to be such a codependent loser that I couldn't spend a few hours apart from my boyfriend.

I threw on suitable painting clothes and Seth walked me down the street. The new Chapel/student hangout was only a block away from his place. I kissed him goodbye for a minute longer than necessary.

His smile was tender as he stroked my cheek in parting. "Have a good time. Give me a ring when you're done."

I watched him walk down the street. I don't know what I was looking for; something more than just the sight of his well formed bottom. I shook myself out of my reverie and headed to the Chapel. Jov and Noy were waiting on the stoop. Jov waved as I rounded the corner.

"Tal said she wasn't sure if you were coming."

"Yeah, I didn't know what my plans were for today. I think I was actually supposed to call her and let her know I was coming."

Noy shrugged, "It's okay, the more the merrier. There's plenty to do."

"You could have brought your boyfriend, if you'd wanted." Jov was a bundle of energy.

I stopped for a second, "I never even thought about it. I wonder if he would have wanted to come. Maybe, I'll ask him next time."

Just then Tal pulled up with a car full of people and painting equipment. I wondered if they were all People.

"Hi, Chloe?" Tess looked more surprised to see me than I was to see her.

"Hey, Tess. They roped you in to paint, too?"

"Yeah," she sounded very uncertain. "How do you know Cale and his friends?"

"Tal was my study partner for most of this summer. What about you?"

"Cale's Mom went to high school with mine. They still talk once a week. He called me up and asked if I wanted to come help."

I stepped down closer to her.

"Also," she added quietly, "it's a lot better than being set up long-distance by my mother. This way I did my duty and I can tell her I hung out with him."

I looked at Cale. He wasn't unattractive in a redheaded sort of way. I'd never thought of anyone dating him. I couldn't really see him with Tess though.

"I'm glad it's not my mother trying to set me up."

Tess shrugged, "It could be worse. At least it's not my grandmother. She can't take no for an answer."

Gal opened the door and we all followed him in. It was a nice place: wooden floors with large open windows, a small kitchen in back. It reminded me of Seth's place. They had probably all been built around the same time. The walls were a nondescript beige. Seth's walls were white. Together with the cream furniture the look was elegant. Here it just looked like someone had been cheap with the paint.

Jov cracked open a can of paint. Tal looked concerned.

"Yellow?" Cale asked.

"It's the color of sunshine. It's going to be excellent, I promise." Waves of excitement radiated from Jov. It proved to be quite infectious. After twenty liters of yellow paint had been purchased, it was hardly the time to argue over color schemes. Gal assigned everyone an area to paint and we got to work.

I quite like painting. Once Jared had a summer job painting new condos, and when we got bored Spike and I went to help him. Painting is the type of work where you can get into a rhythm and kind of meditate your way along. Noy chatted to Tess a bit over by their shared wall, but I was happy enough just to paint my way quietly along my section of the internal staircase. At the edges by the actual stairs, I had to concentrate and use a real brush instead of the paint roller.

I was totally in the zone when Jov began to sing. It was a new tune to me, with only one line of words that just went around and around until it wound into your head. It must have been a well-known song to those that know because Tess laughed and started singing along. Soon they were all singing and painting, this time I wasn't surprised when I felt the room move.

I was surprised when I looked around to see where they'd gone to. Besides that night at Tal's house, I'd only ever seen them go to the fighting place, which was some sort of emptyish countryside.

Now they stood in a beautiful hall, like from a European castle. The sandstone walls were a series of arches, each containing an oil painting or a sculpture. I thought I could make out a suit of armor in the distance. The ceiling vaulted far above us and hung with banners or some sort of decoration. I couldn't see a window, but the marble floor reflected the warm light of a summer's afternoon. For a long space, I counted maybe fifteen arches to either side of us, it was remarkably cozy. If any of the arches had housed a window seat, I could have curled up there and spent the day reading a book.

Tess broke away from the group and started to wander down the hall looking at each artifact. I saw an exchange of glances between Jov, Tal, Noy and Gal. Gal nodded at Noy and she walked slowly behind Tess.

"My grandfather had this painting," she turned and said to Noy.

Noy smiled and nodded. "What was he like, your grandfather?"

"He was religious. I mean my family is traditional, but he really Served. My mother is one of the younger children, and he was quite old by the time I was born. I remember this little wrinkly old man with big hairy ears sitting surrounded by a pile of texts of the Way. Every moment he had, he was immersed in the Way."

"He sounds very special."

Tess nodded dreamily. "He was. He kept a supply of candies in his pocket for the grandkids. That way if we came over when he was in the middle of Service he could acknowledge our presence without breaking his concentration. I liked the peppermint drops the best."

Tess moved on to the next little enclave and I couldn't catch what she was saying after that. I turned my attention back to the painting.

We made good progress before I decided to call it a day at around four. I was ready to sit down. I think Tess was too. She walked me out. Something was different about her.

"That was fun." There seemed to be a spring in her step.

"Yeah, painting really does it for me." It came out more sarcastic that I meant. She didn't seem to notice.

With a slight blush, Tess said, "I didn't mean the painting as much as the singing and everything." It took a second for me to realize that she was probably being coy for my benefit in case, Other that I was, I didn't know about the Palace. She had the same delighted secret pleasure glow as I felt when my mom calls to see how I'm doing, when what I'm doing is lying in Seth's arms in the afternoon sunshine.

Should I burst her private bubble by telling her I'm in on the secret? I don't want to make it less fun for her. She looks so happy. I'll let sleeping dogs lie for now.

"Are you coming tomorrow?' I asked instead.

"To the jam session? I was planning on it." Tess squinted at me, "Tal was just your study partner and then you started hanging out with them?"

I nodded, "I'm Seth Wilks' girlfriend, it's pretty hard to find a group of friends that are mine and not just borrowed from him."

She laughed. "I haven't been formally introduced so I think I'm legitimately your friend first."

"Nice." My phone buzzed.

"Do you want to come and be introduced? Apparently, Seth is still at the Tams."

Tess looked down at her old jeans and newly paint splattered shirt.

"You can change first. I'll wait for you."

"You don't mind? My dorm is just over here."

On the way out of the res, we walked past Jen sunning herself on a bench.

"Hey, where are you guys heading?"

"The Tams, do you want to come? We can prove Chloe has some friends she didn't inherit from her boyfriend."

Jen got up and fell into step alongside Tess. We passed a poster tapped to a lamppost.

"Ghetto Chapel opening jam session. Free beer and pizza," Jen read. "Free dinner sounds good. I think I'm getting sick of the food in res already. Is it going to be a bunch of lame holy molies, though? The type that you speak to once and then receive unsolicited mailings from for the rest of your life?"

Tess and I glanced at each other and smirked. I motioned for her to respond.

"I don't think so," she said with caution. "They're actually friends of Chloe's and newly made acquaintances of mine."

"Friends of Chloe's?" Jen raised her eyebrows. "They must be cool. I hear Chloe had high standards."

I nodded, "Only the chosen few make the grade. I was planning on going. I think they're worried not many people will show."

"Are you taking Seth?" Jen asked.

"Probably not. He works Mondays."
Chapter 13

Josh was cutting class so they could leave in the morning, but like men facing root canal surgery, they weren't rushing. Seth made us breakfast at my place and walked me to class.

"Don't you need to leave soon?" I asked knowing the answer. It's a six hour drive from Montreal to Boston.

"As long as we get there before sunset, Mom'll be sweet. All I need to do is put on a clean shirt and I'm good to go."

He paused for a second. I saw him making a mental evaluation of his wardrobe.

"Hanging on the back of your door," I smirked. "One for each day of Chapel. I ironed a couple for Josh too. Just don't crumple them in the trunk."

Seth beamed.

"Should I be worried that my standing as a non-misogynist man of the new millennium is being damaged by my girlfriend doing my laundry?"

"You squeezed me orange juice for breakfast, I think we have an enlightened distribution of household tasks. And we don't even live together!" I joked.

Seth raised his eyebrows. "We might be stretching the definition of 'not living together.' "

"As long as we pay separate rent then we don't live together."

Seth ruffled my hair and declined to belabor the point. His smile radiated such warmth that I tried hard not to ruin the moment by sniffing. I failed. Seth handed me a tissue.

"Winter hasn't even started, already you have a cold? Did I not keep you warm enough on the mountain last night?"

I tucked the tissue into my pocket and slipped my arms around him and under his jacket. My fingers were cold but now wasn't the time to admit it.

"I don't think it was that cold, but if it was, it was worth it. Last night was magical. I just got a bit of a cold. It's probably the change in seasons. I'll hang out at home with hot tea for a few nights."

"You're not going to the 'Ghetto Chapel?' " He made jazz hands to emphasize "Ghetto Chapel."

"You don't know it until you've tried it. You're just sore that Josh came back raving about it last night. And yes, I am going but only for meals. I said I'd help Tal serve. They're expecting quite a crowd."

"Don't sneeze in the food." His eyes were laughing, but he stroked my cheek with the back of his hand.

I didn't want to say goodbye. We were in the middle of campus, where, to be honest, anything short of removing our clothes wouldn't have caused a passing glance; but I was conscious of the Seth Wilks code of behavior.

His fingers stroked the outline of my lips. "Next time, you'll come. All the next times, or I won't go."

I nodded. He touched his lips to mine. "Call me when you get out of class?"

I nodded again. I didn't want to speak. I didn't want to cry because my boyfriend was leaving for four days, certainly not in public. He understood.

He kissed me again, "You'd better go to class. I'll see you on Monday."

He turned and started to walk down the drive.

I sniffed again and headed to the lecture hall. When I reached the building door, I looked down the drive and saw him standing there watching me walk all the way in.

Jen had promised to text me when it was time to come over. There were already long tables laid out when I arrived. I felt myself pass into a different zone. I concentrated on staying in the present. Now was not the time to start freaking out about seeing Angels. Jen waved me over to where she was sitting.

"I saved you a seat."

I slipped onto the metal fold up chair, the type that was guaranteed to make you need chiropractic work after five minutes sitting in it. I wondered fleetingly if that was intentional.

"Thanks, that was quick. I thought you guys just finished the praying thing?"

"We did, they had the tables set up on the side and just moved them over."

They'd bought the fancy type of disposable dishes so it actually looked nice like a real event and not just some cheapo student freebie thing. A few girls I didn't recognize were helping Noy set out chairs.

"Do they need help?" I asked Jen.

"Don't you dare move," Jen ordered.

I made a show of freezing in my spot. "Why?" I whispered through unmoving lips.

"Ted Cown is over there, and if you move he might come over and sit with me."

I still did not move my head. "Why would this be a disaster?"

"He's been after me since my first year in camp," Jen whispered. "I'm not about to change my mind. He might have grown two feet since then and lost the braces, but some things are never going to be."

"Which one is he?"

"Over there standing by the far table with the black curly hair."

I looked over as subtly as I could manage. The guy looked perfectly normal to me, but the code of girlhood demanded I defend Jen from any unwanted advances.

Jen looked me up and down. After much deliberation, I was wearing a ruffled white cotton shirt with a black straight skirt and the cardigan I got from Zara the week before with the pretty beadwork on the on the front. It goes without saying that both cardigan and aforementioned beadwork were black.

"Nice outfit."

"Thanks, I didn't know what to wear. In the end I called Tess and she walked me through it."

Jen was wearing a red V-necked sweater that revealed a little more cleavage than I suspected Tess would have allowed, and black straight skirt that skimmed her knee.

"I like your earrings." I reached out a finger to examine them more closely. They were a series of red and black beads strung together like small clusters of grapes.

"Thanks, I got them from a stall in the underground mall."

"You are brave. I'm still too chicken to go down under the buildings. I have visions of myself wandering lost for days in some subterranean world."

"I don't think you could walk for days. It's not that big. Although, I wonder if it counts as the world's biggest mall if the whole downtown area is joined up by tunnels?"

"Actually it doesn't even come close. I think the biggest in the world is in Dubai or somewhere like that." A guy with spiky blond hair and black rimmed glasses interjected as he sat down opposite us. "I only know this because I come from Edmonton which used to have the world's largest mall until 2004. I don't actually spend my time researching malls."

"Whyever not?" asked Jen flashing a smile.

"Because that would take time away from my research on the lifecycle of the wood louse." The guy deadpanned. Then he cracked a smile, "I'm Sven Iver." He reached his right hand across the table.

Jen shook it, "Jen Stef, and this is Chloe Diaz."

"The services were not bad, eh?" He was clearly Canadian.

Jen nodded, "I was wondering how much they could do without instruments but the harmonizing was really uplifting."

"For a second it actually made me believe in the whole 'Palace' thing," Sven admitted.

"Yeah, weird," Jen said with slight hesitation.

I looked from one to the other. "Your family doesn't Serve, I take it Sven?" I asked.

"Good grief, no. My Mom's into tantric meditation and my Dad's mainly into golf. I just came along tonight for the free food."

"Too bad you didn't do like Chloe and skip the Services and come just for the meal," Ethan quipped as he sat down opposite me.

For a second I was surprised to see him there. It was the first time I'd ever seen him without Josh or Dwayne by his side. Then I remembered Josh had mentioned he might come.

I shifted in my seat. I didn't really want to own up to my "non-People" status.

"I'm actually not feeling that hot. I nearly didn't come at all." I said and conveniently sniffed.

Jen looked concerned, "You're sick?"

"I've got a cold. I think it's the change in seasons. I know everyone said winter comes quickly here, but I wasn't expecting it quite so overnight."

Sven chuckled, "You ain't seen nothing yet, lady. Not that you can say it really gets cold in Montreal."

"You can't?" Everyone had been quite emphatic so far about the extreme weather conditions in Montreal.

"Everything is relative, where are you from?" Ethan asked Sven.

"Edmonton."

Ethan shrugged like that explained everything. "But Chloe's from Texas, it's a whole different ballgame."

Sven laughed, "Has anyone warned her?"

"Repeatedly," I scowled.

Just as I was about to think of something to say, the room became very quiet. Gal stood to one side, with a silver goblet in his hand.

"We now sanctify the wine and we are sanctified. I'm going to pass around cups after I make the blessing. Please take one for yourself and then pass on the tray."

Awkwardly, twenty-something folding chairs scraped against the floor as everyone stood. Jen looked expectant. Sven was politely interested. Ethan looked slightly bored.

Since we all seemed settled, I slipped back into my mind so I could see what was really happening. Gal said some words in a language I didn't understand, and I felt the Palace move closer. Angels circled the tables and each of my companions took on a gentle glow. Jen was slightly blurry. I looked more carefully and realized that she was starting to develop the superimposed look I associated with Tal in the Palace. Is this what Tal calls a Palace face?

I remembered how Tal had explained it to me. As they develop a spiritual self beyond their physical identity, they take on a different form in the Palace. The Palace face represents who they really are. They become a soul that has a body, like a rider with a horse. She said that sometimes People can develop an "anti-Palace face" if they are called to Service but follow their Interloper. They become the personification of Disconnection. She had shuddered as she told me about it.

I scanned the room. No one looked that bad so I guess everyone around here was at least neutral. Isn't it a little bit invasive to go around seeing other people's inner souls?

We each drank a tiny plastic cup of unreasonably sweet wine. Then they some other blessing and passed around the bread. Finally, the real food came. It was excellent. Mrs. Perr must have helped with the cooking. After a while the room began to swim and I didn't think it was the angels dancing. I excused myself before they served the desert and crept home to bed.

I was in the stage of sickness that comes just before you start to actually get better. For two days my head had been pounding and dizzy. I hadn't left my apartment. Simone had kept me stocked in soup and Jen had visited regularly to make sure I wasn't going crazy from cabin fever. It sounded like I'd missed a good weekend. My wastepaper basket was overflowing with Kleenex, a carpet of old magazines surrounded the bed, and I lay strewn in the middle of chaos. Well enough to notice the squalor my sickness had created, but still too ill to move enough to resolve it.

The phone rang. "Are you feeling better?" The sound of his voice made me feel better.

"I'm surviving," I sniffed, feeling sorry for myself. "Although, I think my sinuses are taking on a life of their own. I think the rest of my body has atrophied, and all the blood went to my head."

"Shall I come home and nurse you back to health?"

Home. He said come home. Home to me. He was with his parents in Boston and he offered to come home.

"Clo, did you hear me, should I come back?" He sounded worried.

"No," I sighed, "Don't come home. This is the big family shebang. It won't make your mom like me any better if I steal her son away from her."

He laughed, "My mom doesn't dislike you. I don't know why you always say that. She'd understand if I had to leave early."

"Doesn't dislike is not the same as like. She had this tone to her voice when she picked up the phone yesterday." I was too tired for this conversation to end well.

"She's from New England. That's just what they sound like. Should I come back or not?" He said in a voice dripping with patience.

I imagined him walking in the door with more Kleenex, freshly squeezed orange juice and something yummy from the bakery. We could snuggle and watch movies. We'd be home together. I could feel my body relaxing into him.

"No, don't come back early," I heard myself telling him. "You should enjoy the family time."

"Whatever you want," he said lightly. A voice called him in the background. "Should I speak to you later?" He asked.

My head was beginning to swim. "That would be nice." I couldn't even bring myself to shut my eyes. The phone dropped from my hand. I'm not sure how long I lay there staring at the lamp beside my bed.
Chapter 14

I was on my way to meet Seth at the ghetto Second Cup.

"Hey!" I caught up with Jen just as we went through the school gates. "Going anywhere special?"

"I have to be at the Chapel in forty-five minutes, and I was wondering what to do until then."

"I'm doing coffee with the boyfriend, want to tag along?"

Jen shrugged, "I won't be intruding on 'couple time'?"

"If Seth is sitting there by himself, I'll buy you a coffee," I snorted. "Alone time with Seth Wilks is not best achieved by sitting in a public place. There's always someone who knows him."

"You don't get dibs?"

"I do, but when I want to invoke my right to private time, I do it in private."

I was right. He was sitting at one of the outside tables with Bret.

"Is this a Montreal thing? Sit outside until the snow actually starts to fall?"

"Mrs. Seth, I don't know what you're talking about, the weather is positively balmy," replied Bret in a mock British accent.

Jen chuckled at "Mrs. Seth," Bret's favorite name for me. It can be an interesting relationship between the guy's girlfriend and his best friend, but Bret was a major fan of mine. Apparently, I'd won him over unknowingly with, "He's growing his own toupee."

Seth finished putting out his cigarette, "But if you're feeling the cold we can move inside." He stood and stroked my cheek with the non-smoking hand.

We found a table next to the window. I held the table while everyone else got coffee.

Seth came back first, "Mochachino, extra foam." He put the cup down in front of me.

"Black, one sugar," I replied jerking my head towards his cup.

"Naturally." He sat down next to me and the weight of his stare created our own private moment. "Good morning?"

"Not bad. Two lectures down, one lab to go. I'm planning on writing up the lab report tonight while you're jamming. That way I'll be a free lady tomorrow."

Seth narrowed his eyes, "Do we have plans? I don't remember."

"No, it's just better when our free time overlaps. Did your morning consist of anything besides sleep, shower, breakfast smoke?"

Seth sat up in his chair, his eyes gleaming. "It did."

"My goodness, what on earth got you out of bed on a Tuesday?"

"Actually my bladder."

I cracked up, "That deserved a big announcement?"

He still looked remarkably smug, "No, the big announcement is that after I was woken by the call of nature I got dressed and went out."

"To buy cigarettes?"

"That as well." He was enjoying himself way too much.

"The suspense is killing me."

"I went to the Ghetto Chapel."

I nearly fell off my chair.

"That joint they keep advertising all over town? I think there's a poster on every lamp post for a ten block radius," Bret asked as he sat back down.

Jen shot me a look.

I had still not recovered.

"Was it as lame as it promised to be?" Bret asked Seth.

"Not so much."

"Because there's always room for more lameness where Service is involved." Bret made air quotes for Service.

Seth nodded, "True that, bro. But this was passable. I can't say I'm going to be running back for more, but I left with my dignity intact."

"Nice one mate."

I put my hand up to silence Bret. I knew where this could lead to. I did not need to hear any of the funny things that happened the year their mothers decided to send them to Sunday school or how they outdid each other at camp.

"Why did you go to the Ghetto Chapel?" I asked Seth pronouncing each word exactly.

Seth shrugged and smirked at Bret.

"Would have been rude not to."

I glared at him and he reverted from being Bret's best mate to being my boyfriend.

"You keep going on about it. Even Jen over here's been. Josh was there. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about."

I narrowed my eyes. "What did you do there?"

"There was this tall dark haired guy... "

"Gal?" I asked.

"Could be. He made me coffee and gave me some cheesecake. We went out onto the balcony for a smoke."

"He smoked?" Jen couldn't help herself.

"No, I smoked, he talked about stuff; where I come from, what's my major, nothing heavy. Then he asked if I wanted to learn about the Way with him. It wasn't time to meet you, so I did."

Jen and I both stared at him.

"How was it?" I asked after a few seconds.

"Not bad. Kind of interesting. Better than at Sunday School." The last line was for Bret's benefit.

"Will you go again?" I dared to ask.

"Maybe," he shrugged.

*

Gal was uncharacteristically bubbly as the others collected for their weekly roundup.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us, Gal?" Cale asked as they were all seated.

"I think I found him!"

He was surrounded by looks of disbelief.

"Him? The actual person we were looking for? We might actually have a chance of closing the sinkhole?" Noy asked, the excitement rising in her voice.

"I think it might be him," Gal dared to answer.

"What happened?" Tal was at the edge of her chair.

"This guy just walked in off the street. He's Mr. Cool-Surf-Dude."

" 'Serfer' dude," Jov said with a smirk.

"He just walked in?" Dava asked.

"Yeah, he said his girlfriend had said the place was cool, so he came to check it out."

"Who's his girlfriend?" Tal looked at Noy.

Noy shrugged, "That girl from Edmonton with the curly hair, maybe? So many of them have boyfriends. There hasn't exactly been a chance to get to know everyone personally."

"We've got all year," Dava reminded her.

"What makes this guy the one? That Sven guy with the spiky hair is pretty cool." Cale was not ready to get worked up over nothing.

"It's not because he's cool. He sat here totally calm, picked up a book of the Way. I asked if he wanted to learn it. I didn't want to be pushy, but he was holding it in his hand. He said he could read the ancient script, and, boom, we're in the first level."

"Just like that?" Noy was on the edge of her seat.

"His understanding was amazing. We were only learning for an hour and he commented on how nice the scenery was!"

Cale looked around the circle, "Maybe he has a background."

"He says he went to Sunday School for one year and did five summers of Reinterpreter camp."

"That's hardly a background," Tal said looking at Cale.

"Yeah, I heard all they teach you in those camps is the hand motions to Kumbayah," Noy smiled.

"He could be lying," Cale suggested.

Noy was unimpressed, "What is your problem? Why are you so desperate for this not to be the one?"

Dava made a move to say something, but before she could Cale shot back, "We don't know who he is. This could be another Interloper plot to shake us off the trail."

"You could be an Interloper mole to shake us off," Noy shot back. Jov eyed Cale suspiciously.

Gal interrupted before tensions could run any higher. "Cale is right. We don't know for sure. We can only work with what we see. If this guy is the one then may it please He Who Knows that we easily identify the area of weakness that is causing the sinkhole."

"Then what?" Tal asked.

"Then we stop it."

"That might be the hard part," Jov mumbled under his breath.

"Or not. We have no idea what this guy might be going through. If he has such a highly developed soul then he might be very thankful to finally be relieved of his burden."

Dava nodded, "We think the Serfs are having such a good time, but lots of them find entering Service a great relief."

Cale shrugged, "Let's just hope that this guy thinks entering the Palace is the best thing that ever happened to him."

*

There was a handy little nameplate on the door so I didn't have to worry about disturbing the wrong elderly person in the middle of their nap.

"Come in, Sheri."

I stuck my head round the door. "I'm not actually Sheri. Do you mind?"

Mrs Hols laughed, "Not at all, you can come in too. But be warned that Sheri might arrive any time."

"Your granddaughter?"

She nodded.

"I think I'll take my chances."

The room was slightly smaller than my bedroom with a bed on one wall, a built-in wardrobe, a small bookshelf under the window and a little table with one chair pulled up to it. The walls were decorated with tasteful floral print wallpaper with matching curtains. Two armchairs stood next to the window. Mrs. Hols sat in one.

"You like my room?" Mrs. Hols asked.

"It's very Little House on the Prairie."

She chuckled. "It is. I didn't decorate it. This is what they think will make the elderly feel the most at home. It's not bad. My daughter tried getting me a few throw pillows for the bed, but it just gave me more things to move out of the way to get into bed and more things to fall over on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night."

I nodded sympathetically.

"Did you really come just to admire my décor?"

I loved the way she's not afraid to get to the point. Since it was Mrs. Hols I was talking to, I didn't bother with any preamble.

"How do you get into the Palace? What's the quest? I tried to ask Tal and she just looked uncomfortable and mumbled something about it being very hard. I figured you'd tell me the truth."

Mrs. Hols waved her hand to the arm chair opposite hers indicating I should sit.

"Practically, you apply to the Council of Guides, you tell them why you want to enter the Palace. If you convince them that you are sincere, then you make the Quest. There are two parts: the Quest in the Palace that you make alone, and in the physical world you learn battle tactics. If you succeed in the Palace, then the Council may elevate you before you complete your studies. But if you're not victorious in the Palace, then you won't be elevated no matter how much you've learned."

I nodded silently while I let it all sink in.

"What does the Quest in the Palace consist of?"

Her answer was a wry smile. I waited for a more detailed response.

"No one knows. You make the Quest blind. At the moment, you can only see the Palace if you're near one of the People, right?"

"Right."

"To enter the Palace you have to complete the Quest inside the Palace without being able to see the Palace."

I shut my eyes in disbelief. "How on earth are you supposed to do that?"

"I have no idea," she answered in a tone that was way to cheery. "It's really hard. No one can tell you how to do it and you don't know what you're doing."

I just stared at her.

Her tone softened, "On the other hand, many do it. In this generation more than you would imagine. We're reaching the final battle and throughout the nations of the world brave individuals are being called to Palace. It used to be only one or two per generation that succeeded in the Quest, now it's much more common."

"I can't just ask them how they did it?"

"You can try, for what good it will do you. Each Quest is individual, that's why there is no prescribed time for how long it takes. I've heard of some taking a decade, and others being finished in a year. Very occasionally someone might be able to do it in less than that."

I looked out the window and saw that snow was beginning to fall. I looked back to Mrs. Hols.

She leaned towards me, "You need to be very, very sure. Once you're in, there's no going back to the real world."

"Once you take the red pill," I said to myself.

She looked at me quizzically, but I didn't explain.

"If I decide I want to do it, I just call up this Council of Guides?"

"Essentially, although the first meeting might be smoother if one of the People in Service makes the call for you. It can take a few meetings before you are accepted to even begin the Quest. A good introduction can make that part a little easier."

"Why wouldn't Tal or any of them tell me all of this?"

"We don't encourage Others to make the Quest. It's long, it's hard and being in the Palace could result in their deaths. If you're born to Service then you have to Serve, but if you're not why would you want to make your life harder?"

I was sure there was something she was leaving out. "Why does anyone do it then?"

"You tell me, lovely."

She might have been elderly, but I shot her a look.

She chuckled, "Because if you live in the Palace, He Who Knows is your best friend. You are surrounded by a neverending love. Because to live with Grace is worth it."

She looked me up and down. "I have a friend who made the Quest. She said that once she knew what could be, she felt that she had no choice and she'd have crawled across hot coals to get in."

It was a feeling I was afraid I recognized.

I didn't tell Seth about the conversation with Mrs. Hols. I hadn't decided what I thought about it all. I wasn't ready to hear what he had to say. I had a suspicion that he'd ask me what took me so long to work it out.

We'd already covered the details of Spike's Saturday night adventures before I casually asked the question.

"Spike, do you think I should become one of the People?"

Spike chuckled, "Been working up to that long?"

"Not the point. Answer the question."

"The real question would be why not? Your 'one true love' over there is one of them. You think they're beyond cool. Despite the pamphlet distributing, incense burning connotations, you actually want to serve with Him"

"How do you know that?" I asked suspiciously.

"I'm your best friend. I know everything about you, including the bits you don't own up to in public. Most of us would have gone all, 'My study partner Tal is weird and religious' and given her a wide berth. You were all like, 'Hey, what if she's onto something?' It turns out she was, which is surprising but cool."

"What about 'the whole life will never be the same' issue?" I played with the tassels on the edge of my bedspread.

"Life is always never going to be the same. We wander around thinking that we're making choices and that we have some sort of control over what happens to us, and it's total B.S. You thought you had life all worked out and then Stacy went and threw a major spanner in the works. Why worry about what's around the corner when you won't ever know? You might as well do something that you really want while you're waiting for the excrement to hit the cooling device, you know?"

I hadn't finished yet, "Won't everyone think I'm weird?"

"Because being a Goth was a really mainstream life choice."

She had a point.

"Just get over myself and do it?"

"If the best reason you have for not doing it is 'what will everyone else think' then yes, just shut up and live your life the way you want to."

"Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

I felt a weight sliding off my shoulders. That was apparently all she had to say because next she changed the topic.

"Where's Seth? I just realized that it's Sunday morning and you have an hour to talk to me."

I looked at the time, it was later than I had thought. "I actually don't know. We slept at my house. We're supposed to have lunch at his house, but boring as it is I wanted to wait here until my laundry was done so I could stuff it in the dryer before going over to his place."

"That's very conscientious of you."

"I'm up to my last pair of underpants, the big baggy period ones."

"Did Seth see you in them?" her voice rang with horror.

"Thank goodness, no. A girl likes to maintain some mystery. Anyway, now the laundry's been done for a while. So I'd better actually go and find him. I'm sure he's managing quite well by himself, but I'm getting hungry."

"Sure thing, kiddo. Have a good one."

I threw the stuff in the dryer, and hurried out to find my true love.

Seth wasn't at home, although something smelled really good in the kitchen. He picked up on the second ring.

"Sweetness?"

"Where are you?" I asked trying to sound playful but not actually annoyed.

Seth laughed, "Guess."

I shook my head. "Can you just tell me? I'm hungry and getting low-blood-sugar-grumpy."

"If you're at my house, then take some of the chocolate cake in the yellow box on the counter."

I pulled open the lid. It smelled divine. Seth waited on the line while I cut myself a piece. I could hear someone talking in the background.

"It's amazing," I said with my mouth full.

"I got the recipe from Alec's, my boss' mother." I didn't bother asking when Alec's mother had been in the bar to swap recipes with Seth.

"Feel better?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

"Yes, but where are you? No games."

"Fourth building from the corner of Prince Arthur and Durocher."

"You're at the Ghetto Chapel again?"

Seth chuckled at my reaction. "I bumped into this Gal guy, lunch is in the oven so I figured I'd hang out here until you resurfaced."

"I was talking to Spike," I admitted.

"When it turned out to be a very long fifteen minutes, I figured as much. Lunch still has another hour, if you can wait that long. Do you want to meet me here or shall I come back?"

I opened the fridge. There was a nearly full carton of milk that would go very nicely with Alec's mother's unspeakably rich chocolate cake.

"I'm going to take another piece of cake and walk on over. See you in minute."

*

"He's really into it," Noy whispered to Tal in the tiny kitchen. "Do you see them learning? This guy is on fire. Gal's right, he has to be the one."

"It is very impressive," Dava agreed. "It makes me worry though, can it be that easy? He just walks in here, we teach him the Way and he goes happily about his life? A Serf that doesn't Serve doesn't create a sinkhole. There has to be something more."

Noy shook her head, "You worry too much."

"I don't know," Jov said quietly coming in the back door. "Where is the big bad? Dava's right, we haven't been risking our lives day after day just to get this guy in the front door."

"All that effort isn't what it took to get him here and learning? That in itself is huge." Tal countered.

"It's huge, we might have helped disable his Interloper enough for him to make the first move, but that can't be it. We've been fighting against something massive, that's only getting bigger. I don't know about you, but I was fighting my guts out last night and that thing didn't look any smaller. If this was all we had to do, wouldn't each minute of his Service make the sinkhole smaller?"

Noy looked at the ground. Dava nervously glanced at Tal.

"You're right," Tal said after a few seconds. "I hadn't thought of that. The sinkhole hasn't gotten any smaller."

"So he's not the one?" Noy sighed.

"Who said that?" Jov scoffed. "This guy's about as 'the one' as they come. I'm just saying that it's not over yet. We have to ask He Who Sees All to guide us to find out where's the real battle."

"May it become instantly clear to us," Dava murmured.

"Amen," Tal and Noy said in unison.

*

Jen was standing by the top of the stairs as I walked in.

"On your way in or out?" I asked.

"Neither. I got here a while ago but there seems to be a minor conference going on in the kitchen and I didn't want to interrupt."

I glanced over and saw Tal and her friends huddled around talking.

"Do they have battle planning sessions or something?"

Jen nodded, "I think so. I'm not sure if that's one. I always assumed they were a bit more formal, like with maps or something."

"And a table with sand and miniature tanks?"

We both laughed.

"Are there tanks in the Palace? I thought it was a bit more old school than that, all swords and arrows."

"Have you seen the Palace?" Jen asked.

"If I'm standing next to one of the People in the Palace then I can see what they are doing."

"But-" she looked uncomfortable.

"But I'm an Other? I know. No one seems to know why I can see the Palace at all. Apparently, I'm just lucky. What about you?"

Jen managed to look both uncomfortable to talk about it and relieved I'd asked her. "I started to see." She looked thoughtful for a minute. "I'm a long way off from taking on any serious Service but I have to admit it is kind of nice."

"I hear it's unbelievably pleasurable."

Jen blushed, "Beats watching TV."

"Did you just come to hang out?" She asked me.

"Nope, not this time. My lunch date went AWOL." I jerked my head over to where Seth and Gal were hunched over a book.

Jen shook herself. "I didn't realize that was Seth. He's really getting into it."

I nodded, "You never know, he might just come to Serve someday."

Jen looked at me with pursed lips. Whatever she was about to say was lost as Seth looked up from the page they were discussing and smiled.

"I think I'd better go and say hello."

Seth did what he always does, stopped what he was doing when reasonably polite, stood and smiled at me as I walked over. Even though it was our daily routine, a warm glow rushed through my body.

I love the way he looks at me like I'm the greatest prize. Who cares about the adoring crowds when I'm the only one he looks at like that?

"Hey," He said holding me with his eyes. He must have felt particularly comfortable because, instead of stroking my cheek or taking my hand, he leaned in and kissed me softly.

The kiss lasted for maybe four seconds. He was already pulling away when the crash came from the kitchen. Tal stood there surrounded by shards of broken plate, her face ashen. Everyone was staring, but not at her, at us.

Seth didn't miss a beat, "Chlo, you already know Gal right."

I smiled and nodded. Gal was frozen in his place.

"Gal do you want to keep going or shall we call it a day?"

Gal visibly shook himself. "Whatever you want," he answered in a monotone. "Chloe's your girlfriend?" Gal asked slowly.

Seth's eyes narrowed, "I told you all about her the first day, remember."

"I must have gotten her confused for someone else," Gal said making an apparent effort to keep his tone light.

"Is there a problem?" There was a harsh edge to Seth's tone that made me look at him confused.

"She's an Other," Gal replied.

Seth put his arm around me, "I guess we'll be seeing you then." He started to walk away.

The group in the kitchen suddenly broke up.

"Hey, Chloe," Jov came bounding over, "Got any V?"

Finally someone is acting normal.

I laughed, "I must have left it in my other coat."

"Hi, I'm Jov, you must be Seth." Jov held out his hand.

Seth paused, and then shook it. "You might tell your friend over there to mind his own business."

My goodness, Seth is being weird.

Jov didn't seem to care. "He's pretty traditional. We're about to have some lunch. Do you want to stay?"

"Both of us?"

"Of course. You should see what Tal can do with a can of tuna and some mayo." Jov's smile was warm.

"We have lunch waiting for us at home," Seth said blankly.

I looked at my watch. "I thought it wasn't ready for another hour?" I asked quietly.

"I don't want to stay." His tone was pretty final.

"Ok," I shrugged. "See you later, Jov. Bye Tal," I waved into the kitchen.

I waited to speak again until we got out into the street. "What was that? I thought the plan was to hang around until our lunch was ready. I could have actually gone for a tuna sandwich."

"I made garlic braised beef with roast vegetables," Seth smiled.

"I would have still eaten it. I sacrificed my breakfast to talk to Spike."

"Do I need to pour the cornflakes into the bowl for you? Anyway, I thought you had cake." Seth rubbed the palm of my hand with his thumb. I had a feeling I was being intentionally distracted.

"We could have stayed without ruining our appetites. Why the sudden, uncharacteristically rude, departure?"

Seth shut his eyes.

"I don't know why I went there. I know what they're like. I should have warned you, but I'm not about to start telling you where to go and who to hang out with. I thought it would be harmless. How bad can it be to visit the elderly? I didn't suspect that you'd get so into it. That's why I went over there. I needed to scout out to see if they were different. Looks like my fears were justified."

"Your what? Could you try that again in English?"

"Could it wait until we get home?" Seth sounded pained.

We had less than a block to go so I left it.

Ten minutes later snuggled on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate to tide me over, I tried again. I twisted so that our legs overlapped and I was basically facing him.

"What was the problem just now? What were you so afraid of?"

Seth reached out and stroked my cheek. I kept my gaze unapologetically firm.

"They're going to say we have to break up." He said calmly.

"Why?"

"Because you're not one of the People."

"So?"

"They believe that People should only be with People. They say that if one of the People marries an Other then they die in the Palace." His eyes were full of pain.

"Is it true?" I shuddered.

Seth shrugged, "You tell me. You believe in this stuff more than I do."

There was a long pause.

"Can't I just get into the Palace and become one of the People?" I asked.

"I think so. My cousin's husband made the Quest before they got married."

"So what's the problem? I'd basically decided to do it anyway." Finally, I could get my breathing under control. Phew, I was really worried for a minute.

"Your Footman friends over there are going to say it's not good enough. They're going to tell you that you can't get into the Palace just to marry someone, it invalidates the Quest."

I was glad for the drink in my hands as a distraction, "How did your cousin's husband do it?"

"They did it through my parent's Chapel. They're a bit more easygoing."

"They're Reinterpretors?" I said it slowly hoping I got the word right.

Seth nodded.

"Is that what you want me to do?" I asked carefully.

"I don't care what you do," Seth said angrily. "I don't see what difference it makes. You're my girl. I don't need a bunch of old men with beards to give me permission. They think their God is running the world, well who do they think made us fall in love with each other? As far as I'm concerned we can go to Vegas tomorrow. I don't need anyone else's permission to get married."

I smirked. He's cute when he's really worked up.

"If you want to be allowed into my family home, you might want to ask my Dad's permission. You should at least learn from Rob's mistakes. Also, Vegas is a bad idea. Eloping doesn't go well in my family."

Seth calmed down enough to smile, "That story with your cousin Randy is for real?"

"Why bother making it up? We really all ambushed them in the Chapel of Love. It was 'My Big Fat Mexican Elopement.' "

"Okay, Vegas is out then."

He still looked pretty tense.

"Why are you so sure they're going to tell us to break up? What business is it of theirs anyway?"

"Did you see your friend Tal? She looked like she'd seen a ghost."

She had looked pretty shaken up, but I wasn't prepared to believe the worst. "Jov was still friendly."

"He might just be a better politician," Seth replied blankly.

"But they're my friends," I said as tears I wasn't expecting welled up in my eyes.

Seth pulled me close to him. "They probably were, but before anything else they are Servants in the Palace."
Chapter 15

Tal's hands were shaking. She pulled them quickly into her lap. "I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. All this time I trusted her? Everyone kept saying it was fine. What harm can come from letting her hang out with us? What does it matter if she knows the truth as long as she's on our side? But she wasn't on our side. She was the thing we were fighting."

"It's hardly her fault," Dava countered. "It's not like we warned her."

"Why would it be something we'd tell her? Don't destroy the world? Keep the cosmic balance intact?"

"Yeah, Tal, but she doesn't think she's destroying the cosmic balance. She thinks she met a cute guy and started dating him," Jov said calmly.

"I heard her talking about him. How wonderful he was, how perfect for her and I just went along with it. To think I was worried about her getting together with Josh!"

"Actually, Josh is his brother," Jov said half to himself.

"This happens all the time, it's not like we can go posting billboards, 'Dear Others, please avoid dating People, even the Serfs, because it upsets the cosmic balance.' If the Serfs don't see any difference between themselves and the Others, then why shouldn't they date each other? From where they're coming from we're the crazy ones." Cale looked across the table.

"Chloe isn't a regular Other. She's seen the Palace. She actually believes us. How often does that happen? She should have known better." Tal thumped the table.

"Not if we didn't tell her." Jov was adamant.

"This is not what matters right now," Dava glanced at Gal who sat with his head in his hands. "We know what happened. We know what we're up against. We asked He Who Knows to make it clear and He did. We should be thankful because it could have taken us months more to work it out." She looked pointedly at Tal, "There's nothing gained by beating ourselves up about it now. Yes, we should have warned her, but the moment of power is the present, so we have to decide what we're going to do now."

Gal looked up and nodded, "Dava's right. Enough bemoaning our fate. This is the mission, let's do it. As far as we understand it, Seth Wilks was sent from the Throne Room to play a part in the final battle. Right now the Adversary is trying to knock him out of the game. It's neither her fault nor his but every day he stays with Chloe puts him closer to death in the Palace. Our goal is simple. We need to get them to break up and for Seth to take up the Service."

"That's a lot easier said than done." Jov shook his head.

"She thinks he's her soul mate," Tal interjected.

"Then she's wrong," Gal's tone was resolute. "It is not his destiny to die a spiritual death in the arms of his pretty girlfriend."

"How do you suggest we break them up?" Noy looked around the table.

"The textbook answer is we get him more and more interested in the Palace until his desire to Serve is greater than his desire for her. Then he moves into the Palace and she goes happily about the rest of her life. Minimum suffering all around," Gal explained.

"Except that's not going to work here," Cale added.

"I doubt it. Seth seemed pretty mad. He must know what we were thinking. His Interloper is never going to let him just gently let her go." Jov looked to Gal for agreement.

"It seems unlikely. If we can't get him to do it then it will have to be her."

"Her?" Tal stared at her brother in disbelief.

"I think you and Noy, and maybe Dava too, should go and talk to her. Explain what's at stake."

"And just ask her to break up with her boyfriend because we told her so?" Tal interrupted.

"Unless anyone has a better idea."

"Can't we just pray a lot?" Noy asked.

"Normally that would be all we'd do. Throw enough Service at the problem and let He Who Turns the World take care of the details. But normally a Serf dating an Other doesn't create a whopping great sinkhole. This is not a normal situation. We need more than just the standard response. I think this really has a chance. Chloe knows that the Palace is real. You have a relationship with her. Just explain to her what it means. She doesn't want her boyfriend to die any more than we do."

*

"Twice in one week? Either you have a lot of time on your hands or I'm very special," Mrs. Hols smiled as she waved me into the armchair opposite hers.

I slipped out of my cardigan and was glad I'd remembered to wear multiple layers. The old age home was sweltering.

I got straight to the point, "Why can't one of the People marry an Other?"

"Because they'll die," she replied calmly.

"In the real world or in the Palace?"

That got a smile, "The Palace is the real world, this one is the illusion. Here it is only physical, the physical decays. In the Palace it's spiritual, that's for keeps."

"Dying in the Palace is worse that dying in the physical world?" I shot back.

"Much worse, it lasts forever. Die in the physical world and you can be reborn, die in the Palace and it lasts forever."

I thought for a second, "Tal told me that if they lose a battle then they could get killed in the Palace."

"She's talking in short hand. You can 'die' in the Palace if you lose a battle, but really it means you get knocked out of the game until it's your turn to come around again."

"Strike three and you're out?" I ventured.

"Something like that. Your Essence goes back to the Throne Room. It's not something you want to have happen to you, but it's not the end of the world. When one of the People marries an Other, then their Essence is destroyed. You can't come back from that." Her tone was unbearably factual.

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"It's the denial of your nature. People were made to Serve. When you marry you tie your Essence to another individual. To perform the Service your Essence must be in the Palace. When one of the People marries an Other, then they tie their Essence to the physical world in a way that can't be undone. They remove themselves from the Palace and so they die."

"Isn't that a little harsh? What if they fall in love?" I hardly dared breathe as I waited for the answer.

She looked at me quizzically. "You know, early in creation there were Angels that wanted to be human. They fell to earth, and here they lived and died."

"I think I saw a movie like that once with Meg Ryan."

She shrugged, "Could be." I guess she doesn't watch much TV.

"About Angels it's easier to accept. We know that Angels have no free will, they are created only to do the will of He Who Knows. They get to live in Heaven, but the price is staying there."

I nodded slowly, it was beginning to sink in.

"The People were created to Serve. We don't get as much choice as you do. If you want to walk away and forget about all of this, then you can. There won't be any repercussions. If one of the People wants to leave then there's a price. The price is their soul."

Her tone softened.

"It's not quite as bad as it sounds. It's a very complex equation. He Who Sees All doesn't just go around cutting off souls willy-nilly. Something still exists, but they lose their place in the Throne Room."

"Others don't get into Heaven?"

She shook her head quickly, "What gave you that idea? There's a place in the Palace for the Others, it's just not quite the same. I guess you could say that they don't sit up as close. One of the People who left the Palace will spend eternity looking at the People and seeing what they could have had. The Others who did what they had to in this world are rewarded richly."

"But it's not the same reward as the People get?"

"It wasn't the same Service. Anyone who wants to get the same reward can enter the Palace and perform the Service."

I looked around the room, buying time. Basically, she was saying I could live happily forever, but Seth was doomed to an eternity of suffering.

"It's not really fair, though, is it? What if one of the People doesn't want to Serve? What if through no fault of their own they fall in love with an Other? They have to suffer forever due to things they couldn't control?"

She stared at the wall behind my shoulder for a minute before she answered. "It's not fair. It's not fair that we were born in nice cozy Western countries with plentiful food supplies and good health care. It's not fair that you were born into this generation and not the one in the sixties that had better job security. It's not fair that you have brown eyes instead of blue. We don't get to choose who we are or where we start our lives; our only choice is what we do with it."

"Ok, but still... " I stammered.

"In this life, we don't get to know why things happen one way or another. But we do know that He Who Sees is kind. He doesn't do things to hurt us, it's not all a big cosmic joke. If something happened then it was for our good, even if it takes a lifetime to see why. You can trust that He has everything under control."

I couldn't help myself. I sighed deeply as I felt the tears well up.

"Having faith doesn't mean you have to like what happens, it means you accept it."

She watched me while I struggled to get my emotions under control.

"May you be blessed with a clear path," she said softly.

"Thank you," I whispered back.

It felt like an ambush; probably because it was. They were waiting for me outside my apartment. It could have been a coincidence, but it didn't feel very casual.

Tal, Noy and Dava were standing huddled together on the steps leading up to the front door of my apartment block. They were each on a different step because all the snow had been shoveled to one side of the steps so there was really only room for one person to go up or down at a time.

I felt my heart drop down to my stomach as I rounded the corner and saw them.

"Hi guys," I called out trying to sound natural.

"Hi Chloe," Dava called back. She actually sounded normal and friendly.

"Chloe, do you have a few minutes?" Noy asked as I came closer. She sounded fairly casual, but the phrase "Do you have a few minutes?" never bodes well.

"We need to talk," Tal added. Then I knew it was going to go badly. "We need to talk," is the conversational equivalent of walking into your basement without turning on the light on a dark and stormy night when a known psychopath is on the loose. You might as well cut to the chase and slit your own throat.

I considered my options. I didn't really want to have the big showdown in my living room. Simone would stay out of the way, but Seth might show up and that wouldn't be pretty.

"Sure, Second Cup?" I shrugged.

"We haven't seen you around the Chapel for a few days," Dava said brightly as we started walking down the block away from school. The closest Second Cup to my house was a small one in the bottom of a big office building. It was really just a place for the office workers to get their caffeine needs met. It had the advantage that, unlike my other usual hangouts, we were probably not going to bump into anyone we knew.

"I wasn't sure that I was still welcome," I said calmly.

I saw them exchange a look, but no one responded.

"What've you been up to?" Noy asked after a minute passed.

"The usual. School, it's amazing how much information they can cram into a survey course. Jen and I went to the movies yesterday."

"Did you see anything good?" Dava was really trying.

"The Help, you know the one about the black maids in the South," I said and then wondered whether they really would know. Why are we pretending to be friends?

"Oh really? I wanted to see that, I heard it was really good," Dava said.

Our arrival at the coffee shop ended the stilted conversation. We ordered drinks in relative silence. They only had those small round tables designed to fit two, so we had to bunch around it in a circle. It made it slightly less like me verses them, but only slightly.

"I guess you know what we're going to say," Tal began.

"No, actually I don't," I replied. "I know what Seth has to say and I know what Mrs. Hols told me about the Way this afternoon."

"You went to see her?" Noy interjected, obviously surprised.

"Yes," I nodded curtly. "Since the people I thought were my friends seemed afraid to talk to me, I went to find out the answers myself."

They recoiled slightly from the sting in my words. Four days of silence had not endeared them to me.

"What did she say?" Noy asked carefully.

"That if an Other marries one of the People, then they are ejected from the Palace. That there are consequences for not staying in the spiritual place assigned to you."

I saw Noy and Dava exchange a glance. "How do you feel about that?" Dava asked.

I hate when people use faux therapy on me. It gets me mad faster than almost anything else.

"How am I supposed to feel about that? Did you come here to tell me to break up with my boyfriend?" I shot back.

"Are you going to?" Tal asked coldly.

"No!" I realized I was talking too loudly for the café where we were basically the only customers.

I lowered my tone, "I don't know that I am. Maybe if someone had just talked to me about it, instead of ignoring me and then mounting an intervention, I might have at least considered it."

There was genuine concern in Dava's eyes, "Do you understand what's at stake?"

"Seth won't get the same place in the Throne Room as he would otherwise. He'll have to sit on the non-VIP table," My voice dripped with sarcasm.

"It means he'll die," Tal looked at me with venom in her eyes. "There'll be nothing left. What you think of as Seth will be gone. His body will still be there, he'll be a walking, talking shell, but his Essence will shrivel and expire."

"So he'll be just like the rest of us Others." I managed to make Others sound like the "n" word.

Dava shook her head, "No, he won't. Others are complete and whole. Seth would be destroyed."

Noy looked up, "It's like in Good Will Hunting."

I nodded to show I'd seen the movie.

"Mat Damon asks Ben Affleck what's wrong with laying brick for a lifetime. Ben Affleck says nothing, it's a fine, honorable way to earn a living, but for Mat Damon to spend his life laying brick when he could have done so much more, it would be a tragedy."

"Enough with the stupid movie analogies," Tal banged her hand on the table. "This is not a movie, it's not a game." She turned and looked at me, "He's going to die. That would be bad enough, but Seth is not just a regular guy. He was sent from the Throne Room to do something. Every minute you're together the sinkhole gets bigger and bigger until we're all sucked into it. The world goes down the tubes because you want to make out with your boyfriend."

"And why shouldn't I?" I shot back. "I just have to believe your word that your religion is right. Well there's a guy down the street with a billboard announcing the end of the world. Do I have to take relationship advice from him too? Look at yourselves, how arrogant can you get? You just sail on in here and announce that you hold the key to the universe and the rest of the world is just supposed to bow down to you?"

Dava sighed, "It's not like that. We don't usually get involved in anyone else's business. It's just that-"

"This time it is our business," Noy finished. "We're risking our lives to try to keep the sinkhole contained. We're just asking for some help."

I nearly shot out of my seat, "Some help! You're not asking me to put up a few posters. You're asking me to throw away the best thing that ever happened in my life. You expect me to just trust that you're right. But you're not prophets, you don't know for sure. Your sinkhole could be caused by something totally different, and then I flushed my life down the toilet for nothing."

Dava shut her eyes. When she opened them, they glistened with tears. "We spoke to the Guide, it's quite clear."

I shook my head, "Doesn't Seth get to choose? Isn't this his life? Maybe he doesn't want to be all quasi-messianic. Maybe he just wants to be a regular guy with a nice life."

"No one chooses what they are," Noy said.

"But we all choose what we do with it," I countered.

"Don't you care?" Tal exploded. "The whole world can just fall apart and that's okay as long as you get your rocks off? I can't believe you're doing this. We trusted you, we let you see in the Palace. This is what you do to us?"

I couldn't take it anymore. "You trusted me? You of all people know what Seth means to me. Seth is my soul mate not some random crush I picked up to make the winter more interesting. I told you all about it, how he makes me feel, how it is when we're together. And you lapped it up. You were so busy living vicariously that you never stopped to say, 'Oh, by the way, are you sure that you're not the Big Bad?' I'm sorry Tal, you're so worried about what being with me will do to him, have you thought about what not being with me will do? I'm the other half of his soul. You don't just chuck that away because it's not convenient."

"Even if it kills you both?" Dava asked.

"Then we'll die together," I said grabbing my bag and storming out.

My phone buzzed as I turned the corner away from the coffee shop.

"Hey, where are you?" Seth asked cheerfully.

I went to give him an answer, but no words came out. The sobs that that been massing in my chest broke through.

"Just tell me, your place or mine," Seth said urgently.

"Mine," I croaked.

"I'll be five minutes," he said and hung up.

It couldn't have been more than four, because I was just pulling off my second boot when he came running up the stairs behind me. I turned around and looked at him as he bounded up the stairs two at a time. His arms were around me before I could even think to speak. He held me tightly as I sobbed into his chest. When he saw that the deluge was not about to let up anytime soon, he gently peeled of my coat, and then his, without ever breaking his hold on me. With both arms still around me, he led me to the couch. He pulled me close to him and stroked my hair as I cried out my grief.

It took a long time, but eventually my cries subsided. Seth lifted up my chin with one hand and gently brought my lips to his. When he felt I was calm enough, he pulled away.

"Are you ready to talk?" he whispered.

I opened my mouth to speak and the tears began again.

Seth's smile was tender and loving, "Did something new happen?"

I shook my head.

"Everyone in your family is okay? Spike and Jared too?"

I nodded emphatically.

He sighed, "Is it about your Footman friends and their stupid Chapel?"

I nodded and cried a little harder.

His tone hardened, "Did they try to talk to you about me?"

I nodded.

"Bastards," he swore under his breath.

He took a deep breath.

"Was it everything I had predicted? 'You have to break up with him because otherwise he won't be in the Palace?'"

I shut my eyes and nodded. "It was worse," I managed to say. "I have to break up with you because all of humanity depends on it and the great battle between good and Evil will be lost. I am the Big Bad."

I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Fucking bastards!" He pulled me back into his chest. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

His very presence was soothing away the pain, enough for me to feel my anger.

"Yeah, me too, because that sucked. What is their problem? The whole world depends on my decisions? I don't think He Who Knows is so petty as to destroy the whole world just because of me."

"They think that every person is a world unto themselves so has the power to make or break the whole world. Which sounds pretty until you start to apply it to real life."

"But what if they're right?" I asked quietly.

Seth pulled away from me and looked me squarely in the eyes, "Don't ever think that. You are not destroying the world. We are not destroying the world by being in love. Love creates, it doesn't destroy. I'd give up an eternity in the Palace for a lifetime with you."

"That's what I told them," I said with a wry smile.

"I'm glad you know me and where my priorities lie."

He lent to kiss me and in his kiss was a covenant. When next we spoke he asked, "What are you going to do?"

I shrugged, "There's not much to do. I don't know what the purpose of all that was, but I got mixed up with some religious wackoes and now I've seen then for what they are. I guess now I've got a bit more free time on my hands. I wonder if Dwayne needs help over at the International Students Society?"

"Last I heard he was trying to organize a mass sushi-making contest, but the Japanese kids refused to take part."

"Perhaps he needs someone to make tacos?"

Seth suppressed a smile, "Shouldn't I teach you how to do that first, though?"

I hit him playfully and relief washed through me. Life might actually go back to normal.
Chapter 16

"Skipping school, Chlo? I thought you were a model student these days," Spike laughed.

"Is my model student status lost for skipping class one day?" I paused from my packing to consider the issue.

"It's one class or more?"

"Two lectures. I've already arranged to get the notes for both."

"Ok, I guess your goody-two-shoes crown is not at stake," Spike said begrudgingly.

"How many skirts do I need?" I asked, looking at the pile on my bed.

"You're going for three days. Do you need any?"

"One of the days I might have to go to his parent's Chapel and I think there might be a family meal thrown in," I explained.

"Can you wear the same one for both Chapel and meal, or do you have to wow his mother with your fashion styling?"

I tried not to get nervous just thinking about it. "This is the woman who doesn't know that she's destined to be my mother-in-law."

"So take them both, you don't need them, but it will make you feel better to have back up." I could hear Spike smiling. "What are you wearing to see me?"

"Pink tutu, wooly green socks and a baseball cap."

"Just make sure it's a Red Socks cap."

I giggled, "Will do. Tell me it's going to be okay."

I might have heard her sigh, "Chica, I know you're about to meet your boyfriend's parents for the first time, but your boyfriend is Seth. The guy beyond loves you. He all but took a flame thrower to that Chapel place after what happened last month. He told you he'd rather give up his place in heaven than go without you.

Which is incredible for two reasons, one, he's that dedicated to you, and two, he's prepared to come out and say it. He actually says that sort of romantic shit to you with a straight face, and he's not gay! With a regular guy you might have to worry that if you didn't hit it off with his parents it would cause tension, but nothing in the world is making this guy drop you.

You should still try and make a good impression on his mother because it looks like she'll be in your life for a while, but this is not a make or break issue. You guys are so solid you might as well get hitched now, for Pete's sake."

Her speech had given me time to both finalize my choices and start putting them in my overnight bag.

"Thanks Spike, I feel better now."

"Any time you start freaking out, just give me a ring."

I tucked my makeup bag in between my shoes. "Yeah, well Sunday I'll be seeing you. It's weird, eh? I can't believe it's been five months."

"Yeah, eh... What are you, Canadian now, too?" It was so Spike to avoid any emotional content.

"I'm sorry, should I stick with y'all, LC?"

"Don't go there," Spike warned in response to the slight reference to her legal name.

I laughed, "Sunday, by the big clock thingy then?"

"Twelve o'clock. You're leaving soon?"

"I thought Seth might be here by now. We're going to eat on the way. For normal people that would mean stopping in McDonalds, but I suspect Seth has prepared a whole feast. This way we avoid having to go straight into dinner with his parents, but we get the whole day there tomorrow. I think Seth is actually looking forward to meeting you."

"It is getting a bit ridiculous not to have met someone I hear about on a daily basis."

I paused, "Spike, you will be nice, right?"

"Of course, I promise no juicy stories. Good luck with the future mother-in-law."

My bag was basically packed when I heard the doorbell ring and Seth's footsteps on the stairs.

"You parked? I would have come down."

"But then I couldn't have carried your bag like a true gentleman." He bent to kiss me. The obligatory peck I was expecting turned into something else as he wrapped his arms around me. After a few minutes he pulled away and buried his head in my hair.

"Are we on a time schedule? I thought we had to go."

"Some things are more important," he whispered in my ear.

I pulled away a little to look at his face. "Are you going to be totally off-limits the whole weekend? I was guessing separate rooms, but I thought you'd at least creep down the corridor to kiss me goodnight."

There was a tenderness I couldn't explain in his eyes. "No, bedtime kisses should be manageable. I'm pretty sure it's separate rooms also, but my Mom will probably put us in rooms next to each other to make it easy on us."

I laughed, and looked at him quizzically. I really was worried about being late so I didn't ask him anything else. He had the good grace not to comment on the size or weight of my overnight bag, aka suitcase.

The sun was shining and the sky was crystal clear as we cruised downtown to pick up the highway south.

"I'm in the mood for Nina," Seth commented as he slid a CD into the slot.

Blues was good for me too. My heart was singing as we crossed the sparkling river and headed into the mountains. It was warm in the car, I slipped out of my jacket and, even though the snow on the bare trees passing the windows declared otherwise, I felt that summer Sunday sort of feeling.

We hadn't said much since starting out. I'd been happy to let Nina soothe away my anxiety. Seth stretched out one hand and took mine in his. He glanced at me and I smiled back. I stretched my other hand over to rub his arm. Trying not to take his eyes off the road, Seth smiled back.

"I'm really happy that we're doing this," he said seriously.

"Going away together? Me, too. I'm glad we waited until after mid-terms were done so I can at least try to enjoy myself." I turned myself slightly closer to him, the driving situation notwithstanding.

There seemed to be more he wanted to say. I waited for him to say it.

"Going to my parents like this, it makes it feel complete. I mean, you and me, this feels like the last piece." He glanced over again to see my reaction.

I nodded and my heart swelled. "I know what you mean, although you probably had better meet my family sometime too, unless you want to make their acquaintance in Vegas."

Seth chuckled, "Did you all stay in the same motel together?"

"We let Randy and his wife stay somewhere alone, but the rest of us piled into a Best Western. Dad took Mom to a show. Watching the whole clan work the slot machines together calling to each other in Spanish was a bit much for her."

"I thought your family wasn't very Latino-y?"

"My branch of it isn't. My Grandpa was really into his kids "making it," and being part of American society. But he came to America about fifteen years before his siblings. Those branches of the family are much more Mexican."

"They sound fun."

I thought about it for a minute, "They are. It's a nice mix. I like having some ethnic heritage. It's good to know where you come from."

"I feel the same about being one of the People. I don't want to do anything about it, but there's something to knowing where you come from. I want to raise our children to know their heritage."

I stayed quiet and watched his face for two reasons. Firstly, we hadn't talked about the People since the whole thing with Tal happened, secondly, he'd just said "our" children and I wasn't sure whether I should comment or not.

We'd gone a few more miles before he spoke again, "I thought we could go to my parents' Chapel while we're there." He kept his eyes straight ahead.

I was confused, "I thought we already talked about this? I packed an outfit especially for the occasion, although I had to rely on Spike for fashion guidance, so I hope it's appropriate."

"I wasn't sure you'd want to go after what happened."

"But I thought your parent's place was all warm and accepting."

"It is," he said quickly.

"So what's the problem?" There was something I was missing.

Seth shrugged, "Nothing, I guess."

I knew him well enough to know there was more he wasn't saying. I ran my mind through the possible issues.

"Are you going to come out and say it, or am I going to have to guess?" I asked.

He didn't say anything.

"I'll make the Quest," I said simply. "I know you don't want to ask me to because that would be admitting there was something to Tal's insanity. I'd already decided to do it before they all went mental. Nothing has changed that."

"You don't have to do it."

"I know. I get that. You're not asking me to do it, but I want to. If I'd do it without you, then I'm definitely going to do it with you." I squeezed his hand.

"When are we going to Vegas?" He joked.

"No Vegas please. I haven't even met her yet, but I bet your mother is the type who wants to plan a big wedding. My mother will die of mortification if she doesn't do the flowers. I think the whole traditional number is in order."

It was my turn to be silent with the next question on the tip of my tongue.

Seth suppressed a smile. "Shall I guess?"

I smiled and bit my lip.

"We're getting married," he said. "I'm not sure that makes us officially engaged because I'm planning a big engagement moment sometime, but if it helps your future planning then I'm working on the assumption that we're getting married."

"When are we doing that?" I asked and congratulated myself for sounding so casual.

"Depends on how you feel about being married in college, I thought you'd probably want to wait until afterwards, so how about the summer after you graduate?"

I couldn't quite believe we were discussing our wedding date.

"Sounds good. Should I hurry up and graduate quickly?"

Seth laughed, "That's up to you. I'm not going anywhere."

Dinner was the three course banquet I'd predicted. Although it lost some of the extravagance bathed in the orange glow of a street light in the car. I must have fallen asleep afterwards because suddenly Seth was stroking my cheek.

"We're nearly there. I thought you'd want to wake up before we actually arrive."

I leapt up, flipped down the sun visor in front of me to check I didn't have mascara smeared across my face.

"You look lovely." Seth smiled as I pulled my hair out of the top knot, combed it with my fingers and put it back up again.

"You love me with morning breath and dried drool on my cheek, so I'm not taking your opinion as an impartial witness."

Seth pulled the car over to the curb.

"We're there?" I asked.

"No, it's the next block. I just stopped so you can compose yourself."

"Am I that bad?" It wasn't making me any calmer.

Seth leaned over and pulled my face towards his. "Kiss me," he ordered.

For the first time ever, kissing Seth managed to lower my heart rate.

"Look, my parents bought my brother and me a luxury apartment to make our school experience comfortable, and they gave us a car when we live four blocks from school so we can come home and see them. They want us to be happy and will go to great lengths to see that happens. You make me really, really happy. They are not going to do anything to upset that. I love you, so they already think the sun shines out of you."

He kissed me on the top of the head and eased the car down the block.

It was hard to see; there weren't many street lights in the suburban area.

"I thought Boston was a bit more urban."

Seth chuckled, "This is really Brookline, much posher."

My eyes narrowed, "Why do you always say you're from Boston then?"

"Brookline is the sort of place you get kudos for buying into, not for coming from."

We pulled into a gravel drive lined with pine trees. I could just about make out a large stone house with gables. Before I'd undone my seatbelt, the front door was open and a figure was hurrying towards the car.

Seth straightened out of the car and was immediately pulled into a one arm hug.

"Easy drive down? You made good time. Your mother's still finishing up in the kitchen." Dr. Wilks had a fine head of hair for a man his age; I wouldn't have guessed it was dyed. He wore rimless glasses and there were laugh lines around his green eyes. He was wearing dark chinos and a stripped polo shirt.

"We already ate," Seth said tentatively.

"Well don't tell her that. She actually turned on the oven in your honor."

I loitered around the side of the car, not sure what my next move should be. Seth shot me a smile across the bonnet.

"Dad, this is Chloe. Chloe, my father."

"It's nice to meet you Dr. Wilks," I held out my hand to shake his.

"Please, call me Jerry. If you call me Dr. Wilks I'll have to put my white coat on. Let me help you with that."

Seth's Dad grabbed my case out of his hand. Seth carried his own backpack. I'm not sure he would have bothered to bring any clothes with him if we hadn't been coming together. The food bag had been bigger than his clothes bag.

As we came into the foyer, a dark wooden staircase ran directly in front of us with doors on either side. I followed them through the door to the right and into a large dining room dominated by a mahogany table that must have seated twelve. Over it hung a glass creation too intricate to be simply called a chandelier. The delicate iron work mingled with the blown glass like they had been formed together. For a minute I forgot my nerves and stepped closer to get a better look.

"It was made by my friend Julia," a voice on the other side of the room said. "It's quite extraordinary, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful," I stammered and turned to face my nemesis.

Mrs. Wilks was thin in a way that conveyed height, although she wasn't any taller that I was. She was wearing black tailored slacks and a charcoal sweater with wide sleeves. Her hair was tied at the nape of her neck with a large bow. She had the aura of wearing pearls.

She smiled warmly as she crossed the room, "Hello, Chloe, I'm Carol." She lent to my left and her cheek brushed my ear as she kissed the air above my shoulder.

I air kissed back and hoped that was the right move.

"Come and have a drink," she said walking through to the kitchen.

We all trailed after her. Seth squeezed my hand as we walked into the largest kitchen I'd ever seen outside of a magazine spread. There were marble counter tops and warm wooden cabinets. The counters ran around in a square with a passageway left to reach a breakfast area where a round mock farmhouse table was currently overflowing with food. Through the windows that surrounded the eating area, I could make out a lawn circled by large trees.

We sat at compass points around the table. I wondered if Seth would move his chair closer to mine, but he didn't.

What do I say? Hi nice to meet you, I'm the girl that's screwing your son? Is that what they think of me? I'm sure Seth would say not. Will they like me better than Emily? He must have brought her here. Was she one of the People? I've never asked. I bet she was. She was perfect in every way except for the ways that she wasn't. Are they waiting to see if I'll make the Quest so as not to mess up their lovely family?

Seth looked around at all the food on the table and laughed, "Mom, I told you we were eating on the way down."

His mother smiled. "Stopping and grabbing a burger at a drive-thru is not eating dinner. It's a long drive, what would Chloe think of us if she arrived and I had nothing to offer her?"

"Seth packed us a delicious picnic," I replied loyally.

"Will you take anything? The apple and date loaf is really very good." She reached out a knife to cut it.

Since my unknowing future mother-in-law was offering me, I'd have eaten anything, but against all expectations I was actually hungry. I let her make me a plate and a fruit tea while Seth's Dad filled him in on the latest work drama.

I was only halfway through the plate when Seth's Dad noticed me stifling a yawn. "Carol, it's past eleven, perhaps it's time to show Chloe her room?"

Instantly, Mrs. Wilks was on her feet apologizing for not taking me up earlier.

"It's ok. I don't know what's wrong with me. I slept for a couple of hours in the car."

Seth carried our bags and we followed behind her upstairs.

"I put you in the blue room, Chloe. The bathroom's next door. There are extra sheets and blankets here in this cupboard. I know there's nothing worse than being cold in someone else's house. Jerry's working tomorrow, so he'll be up and out, but I'll be here to give you breakfast before I go to yoga."

I glanced at Seth.

"We're going to see Chloe's friend at Harvard on Sunday so don't count on us for lunch then." Seth said quickly.

"I remembered, but of course, we'll eat together tomorrow night and Saturday lunch." It might have been a question, but I'm pretty sure it was an instruction. "Seth can help you find anything else you need, Chloe. Sleep well." She headed back downstairs.

As soon as she'd passed out of sight, Seth pulled me into him. I let myself be comforted by his familiar smell and firm chest.

I yawned again. He laughed and stroked my cheek.

"Where's your room?" I asked.

"Right here," he motioned to the door next to mine. "Perfect for bedtime kisses."

I nodded sleepily. I certainly wasn't planning anything else. We walked into my room and I started rummaging through my bag for my bed things.

Suddenly I looked up, "Where's your sister? Isn't she supposed to be here?"

At first I got only a chuckle in response. I waited for an explanation.

"Yes, she is supposed to be here. I'm guessing since no one told us where she is, it means she's somewhere they don't want her to be and we're all ignoring it. My parents are a bit like that. Let you know exactly what they think you should be doing, but instead of yelling if you don't comply, they just let the guilt eat away at you. It's much more effective than shouting matches."

"What's Susie up to that's so risqué?"

"Who knows? I guess we'll work it out tomorrow."

I'd found my toiletry bag. "I think I'm going to wash up." He stood and walked me out.

The bathroom was pristine and as white as fresh snow. It was hard to imagine that anyone sullied it by doing anything as radical as actually using it.

When I got back to my room it was empty. I turned off the overhead light and was just getting into bed by the light of the small reading lamp next to the bed when there was a light knock on the door.

Seth was wearing blue and white striped pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I'd never seen him sleep in actual pajamas before.

"Nice outfit," I smiled.

Seth walked in and shut the door behind him. "You got new pj's yourself." Mine were pale pink and indeed brand new.

"A present from my Aunty last birthday. I've been waiting for an occasion to use them."

He led me over to the bed.

"Are your parents still up?"

"No, they went to bed as soon as we came up. They're old. I think Dad was relieved when he had an excuse to cut things short." Seth pulled back the covers and jumped into bed.

I hesitated, "I feel weird. This is your parents' house."

"Chlo, I'm not going to seduce you. If we're to be on our best public behavior, I'd like to get some private time."

I looked at him confused.

Quietly he said, "I'd like to hold you." Now I understood.

I slipped in with him and snuggled up close. In the unfamiliar bed, in my new and slightly stiff pajama's, I felt like I was home.

It might have been the happiest day of my life. Seth had this idea that he had to show me Boston. It's a beautiful city and very walkable. We wandered the picturesque streets looking vaguely at period buildings. From time to time he'd stop me and point out some area of local interest.

"Did you memorize the guidebook?" I asked the third time we stopped.

Seth laughed, "I like to be prepared."

We stopped and sat on a park bench. The trees still had some leaves and the sun washed through making patterns on the cobbled street in front of us.

Seth waved his cigarette pack at me in his usual inquiry. It was the first time he'd let go of my hand since we parked the car.

"What would you do if some time I said no, you can't smoke?" I asked as he lit up.

He stopped to think about it.

"Not smoke."

"Does that mean I'm facilitating your habit by acquiescing?"

He cocked his head to one side. "Nope, sometime I'm going to give up. I'd do it if you asked, but you're not going to ask, not now."

"How do you know I won't ask?"

He looked at me with half a smile. "You've never asked me for anything."

"I haven't?" I was surprised.

"Nothing real. Pass the peas; can we meet at four instead of three, but nothing big."

Now it was my turn to think. "I guess I haven't. There's not much I want to be different."

I watched an old lady walking her miniature poodle across the street.

"What have you asked me to do?" I asked after a minute.

He smiled, "Put up with smoking."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Stay with me," he said looking down.

"Yeah, that's been really hard." My voice was a tsunami of sarcasm.

"You were pretty sold on Tal's version of the world."

"Until she turned out to be crazy. I don't think that choosing you over her was a major sacrifice."

"I hope not," he said way too seriously.

He stubbed out the cigarette and I slid closer to him along the bench. He slipped his arm around me and we sat there in our perfect moment. With the sun warming my skin, the love of my life holding me, watching the world pass by, I could have stayed there forever.

"Who's coming to dinner tonight, just us, your parents and Susie?" I asked.

"Could be my grandparents also, but I think they're coming for lunch tomorrow."

"So we have to do the big family meal thing twice?" I cringed slightly.

"Be glad I vetoed my Uncle Dan and his family being invited," Seth laughed.

"Are you being serious?" I was appalled.

"My Mom was when she suggested it."

"What's the big deal?"

"Mom's into family and she's not stupid. I haven't shown up with a girl in years and she heard from Josh that I'd wanted to bring you for the Day of Accounting. Josh told her he thinks you'll make the Quest, so she's putting two and two together and getting forty-five." He played with a loose strand of hair just behind my left ear. I was too comfy to turn and look, but I thought I heard him smiling.

"Since when was Josh our official spokesperson?" I was slightly put out.

"That's just how things work in our family. My parents like to keep close tabs on us, but not necessarily be seen to invade our privacy, so they just ask the other kids what the deal is. Often we work it to our advantage and advocate for each other. I'm sure Josh only said you'd make the Quest to calm Mom down."

"She'd mind if I didn't?" I turned enough so I could see his face.

He stroked my cheek with the hand holding the hair. It tickled but his hands were soft.

"Maintaining our culture matters to her, as long as we go through the right motions, then it's all sweet."

"But if I stayed an Other she wouldn't accept me?" I gave a little head move to emphasize "other."

Seth sighed, "She'd be sad, but she'd accept it. She's not Serving, she didn't raise us to Serve so what does she expect?"

I was getting annoyed, "Does everyone agree with Tal? I'm not good enough for anyone."

"What the-?" He twisted me to face him. "Where is this coming from?"

I tried to look away.

"Who said you're not good enough? This isn't about being good enough. It's about belonging to the right football team. Mom wants to think we maintained our ethnic heritage, so jump through the right hoops and finished. If it makes you crazy, forget it. I don't need you to do anything. I don't want any confusion over here. I want you just the way you are. It will make my parents happy if you go through the process, but I don't care."

"It won't make you happy?" I asked quietly.

"It would be nice, it makes things neater, but it's not worth getting stressed out about. I thought you wanted to do it?" he squinted at me.

"I do," I said begrudgingly. "It's just different choosing to do it, or not being accepted if I don't."

Seth nodded, "I hear that. Can we forget we had this conversation?" he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Sure. But for the record, I appreciate that you're not asking me to do it, anything I do will be my own free unpressured choice."

We sat for a little while and then returned to wandering the streets.

"How do you know your way around here so well? Do you have an ex living in one of these million dollar townhouses?" I teased.

"I spent a lot of time wandering the streets in high school."

"Anything not to be home?" I asked.

"Not quite. I had a lot on my mind. I think better when my feet are moving."

"Did you find your answers?" I rubbed the palm of his hand with my thumb.

He smiled, "As many as I needed."

We walked a bit more in silence.

"It was a funny time. My parents were doing their whole midlife crisis thing. Mom said she needed to assert her identity." He rolled his eyes. "No one made her a stay home mom for the fifteen years previous, but all of a sudden she was on some big feminist crusade. Dad started dyeing his hair and bought a Porsche. For a while we thought he was sleeping with his secretary, but I don't think he really was."

"We?" I interjected.

"Me, Josh and Susie; we weren't exactly discussing it with Mom. I don't think Dad would actually do anything quite so clichéd. Anyway, they were busy falling apart right as they're telling me to go to college and follow in their footsteps."

I chuckled, "I bet that was fun. How come you did it anyway?"

"I did and I didn't. Going to college is the smart thing to do, flipping burgers wasn't such a productive form of rebellion. But I did it because I worked out it's what I wanted to do."

"Where does the band fit in?"

Seth smiled broadly. "I get a little bit of rebellion, don't I?"

We were heading gradually downhill. I was glad that Seth knew where we were heading.

"Is the band the big thing?"

He stopped walking and looked me straight in the eye, "I don't think so, sometimes life surprises you and the big thing catches you unawares."

"Spike told me a few weeks ago that life is always never going to be the same so you might as well just get on with it and do whatever you want."

"It's going to be interesting to meet Spike on Sunday."

"Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to the big meeting moment. You two know way too much about each other."

We turned a corner and started walking down a main street lined with small boutiques and antique shops.

"Are you worried we won't get on?"

"No, not quite. You're both social enough to pass the time of day. It just feels like worlds colliding."

"And you want me to go meet your parents?" He joked.

"I am much less concerned about you meeting my parents than about you meeting Spike."

He waited for me to reach the next thought.

"Remember the day we got together?"

The look on his face said that he did very well.

"Besides ambushing me and declaring your undying love, you also asked me something; how Spike was Stacy? I think you meant did my relationship to Spike have the same function in my life as my relationship with Stacy. There was way too much going on that day for me to give it much thought at the time, but since then I've been thinking about it."

His eyes told me to go on.

"If Stacy was the sun then Spike was the stars. I mean I used my relationship with Spike as a compass point as much as I did with Stacy. Is that what you were getting at when you asked me?"

Seth smiled conspiratorially, "Something like that."

"It's been a good lesson for me, being your girlfriend."

He looked bemused, "How so?"

"This could have just been another one of those relationships. I could have just followed the same pattern and added 'Seth's girlfriend' as my identity, together with 'Stacy's sister' and 'Spike's best friend.' "

"Why didn't you?"

"I'd like to say I outgrew it, with a side serving of it would have been so predictable, and also, it would have cheapened something that meant much more."

Seth nodded approvingly.

"Basically, I found who I was among the things I was expected to be. In fact, I think I got to a similar place as you with much less walking."

"Congrats. Although off topic, do you want to do lunch?"

I did. We stopped in one of the many fancy cafés in the neighborhood. The food cost an arm and a leg, and like usual Seth wouldn't let me pay. We sat there for a long time after we'd finished eating, sipping hot chocolate and commenting on the passersby.

"What's the deal for tomorrow? Are we all going to Chapel together?" I asked peering over my mug.

"Susie would rather do extra algebra homework. I think Dad might feel the same, but he'll come along to keep up appearances. Mom goes most weeks."

"Will you tell me what to do? I've never gone to Services before."

Seth rubbed his knee against mine. "Of course I will. But it's pretty easy to follow, it's all in English and they tell you when to turn the page. There's not that much of the official praying stuff. The Guide speaks and we all sing a bit, they put the words up on a Powerpoint so that's easy. When it's all done there's food and the usual mingling, making nice to the elderly ladies."

I nodded, "I think I can manage it."

"I have no doubt, but we should head home now. We'll be in trouble if we're late. I imagine you plan on changing clothes or something."
Chapter 17

"I have to let you know I nearly spat pea soup across the room last night," Susie said as we pulled out of the driveway.

"Why?" Seth asked as I turned around to look at her.

"When Mom asked Chloe all casually if any of her ancestors were from the People." She chuckled at the memory. "She is so desperate for you guys to get married."

I saw Seth shoot her an evil look in the rearview mirror. It's one thing to plan ourselves to get married; it's a bit different when it's his Mom doing it.

"We've only been together for four months," Seth said curtly.

"Yeah, tell that to Mom though. Don't feel bad Chloe, it's a compliment. At least she likes you. Ed's one of the People and Mom gets that sucked-on-a-lemon look on her face every time he comes over."

I gathered that "at Ed's house" is where Susie was the night we arrived.

"Why doesn't she like him?" I asked.

"He's got a nose ring."

I thought for a minute of all the interesting get-ups Spike, Jared and I had worn in my parent's presence. In comparison, my parents were remarkably liberal.

"What's so bad about a nose ring?" I asked genuinely curious.

"She also suspects he might smoke pot," Susie added.

I looked at Seth, his face was totally still.

"Was he in jail?" I asked.

"No, his Dad's an accountant and his Mom sells real estate. He's in my AP biology class. He's applying for early acceptance to Yale."

I turned around in my seat so I could see Susie and Seth simultaneously. "Will someone explain what the problem is? Does the guy have two heads that no one's mentioning?"

Seth laughed, "He doesn't fit the executive picture of the world. He might cause Susie to go over to the dark side."

"Why am I marriage material?"

Susie caught Seth's eye in the rearview mirror and laughed.

Seth said nothing.

"Because Mom had decided that Seth must be gay. He's good looking, he's eligible, but he hasn't had a girlfriend for almost two years. Josh said he wasn't even casually hooking up with anyone, so Mom decides he's gay. Then she's stuck because she's supposed to be a liberal Democrat who supports gay rights. Inside she's freaking out because she doesn't mind if someone else's son is gay as long as hers stays on the straight and narrow. Then out of the blue Sethy-boy over here announces he's bringing his girlfriend over for the weekend and Josh says you moved your toothbrush into their place. Mom's so happy she could care less that you're an Other. If you want to make the Quest, even better."

I tried to suppress a smile, "Your Mom thought you were gay? You didn't tell me."

Seth kept his eyes on the road, "It never came up in conversation."

Susie snorted in the back.

"Why are you even here?" Seth asked her. "I thought you hated Chapel."

"I do," she said cheerfully. "But I thought it would be fun to come and watch, plus I could do with a few extra Mom Brownie points. Ed wants to take me to his parent's ski lodge for the weekend."

"Good luck with that," Seth laughed.

"Sometimes it sucks being the girl. You guys get away with so much more."

"That's why you don't. Now they know what guys are like, they're not going to let their own daughter be treated like that."

"Are we playing Chapel bingo?" Susie asked suddenly.

"Obviously," Seth scoffed, "I still owe you for last Day of Accounting."

"Bingo?" I waited to be enlightened.

"While we are happy to embrace our heritage, something has to help pass the time," Susie explained, "So we play Chapel bingo. Although strictly speaking these days it's not bingo, not since Josh got caught with the game board on the Day of Return a couple of years ago. Now you just get points in different categories."

I nodded, "Who decides the categories?"

"We do, right now, although there are certain perennial classics."

"Number of times your called by the wrong name, double points if it's a name that isn't one of your siblings; number of times you're asked what college you plan to attend, etc" Seth explained.

"But you graduated?" I asked.

Seth smiled, "That doesn't stop them asking. Other favorites are number of times you're kissed by a member of the opposite sex that's old enough to be your grandparent."

"Extra points if they try to cop a feel while they're at it," Susie chimed in. "I think for today we can add number of times Chloe's asked when the wedding will be. And number of times someone tries to work out if they're distantly related to her."

"That's not fair," Seth turned around to look at her while the light was red, "She's going to win hands down."

"No, because you can have number of times you're congratulated on your forthcoming nuptials, and I can have number of times I'm wished 'soon to be me'."

Seth nodded, "Fair enough, that evens out the playing field."

"I can see you guys take the religious experience very seriously," I said as Seth pulled in to a parking lot. The building was a squat red brick modern building with concrete accents that was probably built in the Eighties but channeling Sixties architectural practices.

"God knows we try," Susie laughed as she got out of the car.

The entrance to the Chapel reminded me of my doctor's practice back home. People were milling around in this area the same way people are reluctant to take their seats too early for a theater show. Mrs. Wilks made a beeline for us as soon as we entered.

"Did you stop for a smoke on the way?" She asked Seth, "I wanted you to both meet Mrs. Warren." Seth said nothing. He tried to pretend he didn't smoke around his mother, apparently unsuccessfully.

"They already sounded the bell, we'd better go in. Just don't go rushing off afterwards," she warned as we walked into the main hall.

The double doors that led inside were covered by a series of curtains. Seth held them out of the way for the rest of us to go through.

A man wearing a red velvet tunic greeted us on the other side, "Welcome to the Palace."

I looked around. On a dais was a large wooden chair painted gold with intricate carving on the legs and back. Around it was a row of similar wooden chairs, but these were stained brown with dark green studded cushions and less carving. In semi-circles around them were rows of high-backed pine benches.

The room was filling up and Mrs. Wilks was busy waving and smiling. There was a book on every seat, Seth took mine and flicked it open. He handed it back to me at the right place.

"How long does this last?" I asked in a low voice.

"About an hour."

"What's going to happen?"

Seth pointed to the big chair. "That's the Throne. No one sits there, it's reserved for He Who Is. The rest of the big chairs are for the Guide, the President of the Chapel and other VIP's." He made air quotes at VIP's. "They'll be coming in a minute."

An electric organ began to play and the chatter stopped. I peered around Susie's head to see a middle-aged woman playing the organ accompanied by an older man on the guitar. A robust lady, who was dressed to look about forty, except for her face which suggested that she was at least a decade younger, stood on the dais and started to sing in a high soprano. I recognized the words of the song from the session with Tal at the old age home, but the tune was new to me. I readied myself for the room to move.

Doors opened to the right of the halls and in walked a procession. In the front was a woman in multi colored robes with a hood thrown over her mane of wavy red hair. Behind her came a man in a suit, wearing a purple cape with gold trim over his shoulders. After him came a series of three men and four women each wearing a dark green tunic over their clothes.

"That's the Guide," Seth whispered and pointed to the robed woman.

We all stood and recited a prayer from the books thanking for our lives. I tried shifting my mind so I could see what was really going on, but I came up with nothing.

"Welcome to the Palace," the Guide said as we sat again. Next to me Susie was sending a text message. Seth's eyes were unfocused. I wondered what he was thinking about. The Guide started a long sermon about fulfilling our social responsibilities and the importance of responsible use of natural resources.

"Where's the Palace?" I whispered to Seth.

He furrowed his brow. "Here, we came through the Veil and here we are, there's the Throne over there."

Now it was my turn to look confused. Tal taught me that the Veil was the mental resistance to experiencing a reality other than the physical and that you pass it every time you slide your mind. She also said that you only see the Throne when you reach the Throne Room after death and that the whole Palace with all of its intricacies is a construct to help us fathom the greatness of He Who Sees All. She never said anything about post-modern architecture or fancy carpentry.

When the sermon was finally over, we stood to sing another song. The soprano was joined by a gaggle of little girls and most of the audience clapped along. I looked around the room. Now that I was used to my surroundings I could see the fuzzy outline around a few of the congregation that Tal called the "Palace face." But most of them looked like their regular selves. There was another communal prayer, two more songs and then it was all over. I followed Seth and his mother through some doors to the front of the hall and into another hall larger than the first where rows of tables were laid with a sumptuous buffet.

"And now it begins." Seth whispered as he took hold of my hand.

"Make sure you keep count," Susie smirked as she whisked past us.

The next hour was a whirl of smiling, nodding and making nice. By the time we left my head was spinning.

"I think I lost count at ten 'When is the wedding?' and fifteen 'Are we related?' " I said as I sank into the front seat.

"I got twelve 'soon to be you,' five kisses, one Samantha, and one Lucinda."

Seth snorted, "Lucinda's pretty good, was it Mrs. Ader? Because she's got Alzheimer's so it doesn't really count."

"No against all the odds Mrs. Ader got my name right. What did you get Seth?"

"Three Joshes, fourteen kisses, five 'When's the big day?' and two 'What college?' "

Seth pulled out of the parking lot. Susie leaned through from the back street and patted his side pocket. "Got any smokes, bro? I need to recover before we do the family lunch marathon."

Seth knocked open the glove compartment with one hand and tossed her a pack. "But don't light up now. I'll stop at the park."

"Why?" Susie scoffed.

"Chloe doesn't like the smoke."

Susie looked from me to him and back again. "Hot damn, my brother is in love. I'd better start looking at bridesmaid's dresses."

I laughed.

"Who says you're invited?" Seth mumbled under his breath.

Lunch really wasn't that bad. Seth's grandmother was a cute little old lady who smiled at everyone. We all had to yell so his grandfather could hear, which just meant that Susie kept a running commentary going until Seth kicked her under the table.

In the evening, Susie escaped to Ed's house and their parents went to their monthly discussion group. Mrs. Wilks apologized the whole time for leaving us, but a quiet evening on the couch with my love was just the relaxation I needed.

When Sunday rolled around I was feeling chilled out and fairly content with life. Mrs. Wilks' three-course breakfast was still in my stomach as we walked hand in hand down the streets of Cambridge.

Spike was standing waiting for us.

"Hey chica," she called out as we got within ten meters of her. I dropped Seth's hand to give her a big hug.

When we parted, she visibly looked Seth up and down. "He is gorgeous," She said approvingly.

"Isn't she supposed to be a Goth?" Seth asked motioning to the pale pink blouse Spike wore tucked into tight black pants, under her long leather jacket.

Spike flashed a smile, "Who wants to be predictable?"

"I thought you two were going to be nice?" I complained.

"We are being nice," Spike flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Plastic Starbucks sandwich or something better?" she asked.

I knew Seth would never want a Starbuck sandwich, but he just shrugged.

"What's something better?" I asked.

"Vegetarian: where they weigh your plate to see how much you have to pay."

I looked at Seth. He clearly wasn't planning on choosing.

"Vegetarian," I announced.

We fell into step with me in the middle. The place was small and hidden down a back alley, but the salads looked fresh enough.

As Seth made a preliminary inspection, Spike asked me, "How's it going? Did the mother throw poison darts at you?"

"No, she was actually pretty nice. It turns out she'd decided that Seth was gay, so she's relieved he's not."

Spike looked over at him, "I could see how she could make that mistake."

I hit her hard on the arm.

She laughed as we paid and took our seats, "Only joking, hon."

"Dare I ask what the joke is?" Seth asked as he placed his tray on the table.

"Spike cast aspersions over your sexuality," I explained.

Seth was unfazed. "It's a cheap shot."

Spike smirked back at him. "Got any gigs coming up?" she asked Seth, obviously having decided to play nice.

"We're playing in Toronto in a few weeks' time, then Hamilton the day afterwards, because once we've driven there we might as well. We were offered something in Victoria, but I'm not sure it's worth it. The others are up for it, but it's a long way to go. We've got our regular Montreal gigs as well."

Spike nodded approvingly, "I guess it's just a matter of playing gigs until someone big pays attention."

"Basically, we're talking about putting together our second album sometime this year. Our My Space page gets a decent number of hits but it's all the same people. We have a core fan base, but we're talking about maybe two hundred people. That's not exactly going viral. There are a lot of worthwhile bands out there. All we can do is keep plugging away and hope that Fate looks kindly on us."

"For what it's worth, I 'liked' your band page."

"Cheers." Seth didn't realize what Spike had just said, she almost never posted links. Her vote of confidence was a big deal. She must actually dig the band. She didn't need to make any grand gestures for my benefit.

"Ricky Ray says you worked Austin with him last summer. You'd rather work than party?" Spike looked genuinely curious.

"It's nice to have some money. I didn't sponge off my parents. Also, working the bar is basically getting paid for partying. The band was playing a set on the Thursday night. I know the bar manager from Boston, he asked for a favor. If I was going to spend the whole weekend down there anyway, then why not? Were you there?" Seth seemed to be enjoying his lentil soup. I was glad, I'd been worried he'd eat nothing and be super crabby later.

"No, I was home holding this chick's hand while she prepared to flee the country," Spike quipped.

"I didn't stop you from going to the festival, you just hate sleeping in a tent."

Spike cringed. "Especially where there might be scorpions. There is such a thing as getting too close to nature. If we were supposed to hang out in the great outdoors, cities wouldn't have been invented. And you did need a fair amount of handholding."

"Could be," I conceded, "Your help was invaluable. You provided a very vital buffer between me and my Mother."

"And the cookies," Spike rolled her eyes.

Spike and I were still plowing our way through the giant plates of salad we'd selected, so there was a momentary pause as we both stopped to chew.

"I have a question," Seth wrinkled his brow. "Something Susie said made me think of it. If your parents went totally ape about Rob the tattooed biker, then, no disrespect meant, how was your uber-Goth pierced best friend acceptable?"

Spike waved her hand, "No offence taken." She looked at me waiting for my answer.

"Because I'm the second daughter. Also Spike's Mom drives a Lexus and lives in a luxury condo, and Spike wasn't an official goth at age twelve when we became friends. The gradual progression sort of slipped in under the radar. But mainly because I'm the other daughter, I wasn't the vessel of parental achievement in the same way."

"Basically they just cut you more slack?"

I nodded, "Spike was also a straight-A student."

"Hang on a second," Spike held up one hand, "You're missing a key point over here. Never in their wildest dreams did Ma and Pa Diaz suspect that I was sleeping with their daughter. They might have been waiting for her to outgrow me, but they certainly weren't worried about hanky-panky when I slept over."

Seth narrowed his eyes, "But theoretically... "

Spike shook her head, "Your mother might have had her concerns, but she lives in liberal New England. Mr. Diaz is quite sure that those things don't happen in Texas."

"What about Jared? You could have been dating him."

Spike and I cracked up. "It's been obvious to everyone, except for Jared, for years that Jared was playing for the other team," I explained.

"But I thought it didn't happen in Texas?" Seth was bemused.

"Don't try and understand the confused workings of my father's abundant set of prejudices." I stroked his hand on the table next to me and Spike pretended not to notice.

"As long as I don't tell him I vote Democrat, I'll be okay?"

Spike snorted, "Ye gads, don't tell him you vote Democrat. You might want to join the NRA just to smooth things along."

Seth was obviously not sure how seriously to take her. He checked his watch and stood up. "I feel the sudden urge to walk down the street to Barnes and Nobel's, get a coffee and browse books I'd never think of buying, aka, leave you two to have a girly moment without me cramping your style."

"Spike, it's been a genuine pleasure." He smiled at her then leaned down to kiss me. "Call me when you're ready to go. We should probably leave here around four so we can pick up our stuff and get back on the road by five."

"Sure." I checked my watch. "That's in three hours. That's a lot of coffee, will you be okay?"

"If I get stuck, I've got a full pack of smokes, I can always go pollute my lungs."

"As long as you're doing something productive."

He winked and left.

Spike look at me long and hard, "Where's the fly in the ointment?"

I wrinkled my eyebrows.

"He's as cool as you said he was. He thinks the sun shines out of you. By your own admission he's the One. You passed the mother-in-law test. What's the prob?"

I sighed.

"You might as well start at the beginning, we've got three hours."

I swallowed. "We went to his parent's Chapel." I paused.

Spike nodded encouragingly.

"It sucked. We said a bunch of prayers and sang some songs. I think some of them were in the Palace, but most of us were just going through the motions."

She leant towards me, "What were you expecting?"

"He Who Knows, the Palace, something real."

"More like that Tal character."

"Exactly."

"Does it matter? So they're not hooked up with the cosmic mojo, and what?"

I looked down, "This is how Seth thinks I'll make the Quest. Their Guide came over to talk to me. She said you can get the workbooks that cover the curriculum on Amazon and I could work through them and just come down to Boston for the ceremony when I'm finished. Or she could hook me up with a congregation in Montreal. She has a friend that offers evening classes. She said I shouldn't be intimidated, that it's easier than a college class."

"Which is not what you wanted to hear?"

"It's not a mystical quest to prove your mettle. It's not accessing higher spiritual realms. It's not elevating your soul, it's a multiple choice test offered at the local community center." I put my head in my hands.

"And at the end of it, you're no more in the Palace than Benny is Judy Garland. Because they can't show you the way into something they don't believe in."

I looked up, "Jared's boyfriend impersonates Judy Garland?"

"It was just a one off thing. Jared's supposed to be sending us pics. He didn't want to post on Facebook, at least someone's learned from Stacy's mistakes. But I return to the question, so you'll get the paperwork without the real elevation, does it matter?"

"I'll still be an Other."

Spike gave me a look, "Does Seth care?"

"No, he says he'll take me just the way I am, he just wants to go through the motions to make his mother happy," I said quietly.

"Do you care?" She asked carefully.

I shut my eyes, "I don't know. I don't see that I have much choice. Tal's crew won't let me in. It is something I wanted to do. It's disappointing. I was quite looking forward to being a superhero, but I wasn't an elevated spiritual being yesterday either, so I guess I'm not really losing out."

Spike looked thoughtful, "Maybe there's only so much destiny one person can have. Could be you maxed out your quota with Seth, now the rest of your life will have to be fairly standard. I can think of worse things than a life of normal with my soul mate."

I laughed, "When you put it like that, so could I."

"In case I didn't make this clear earlier, it was really kind of you to give Spike and me the whole afternoon to hang out." I looked at Seth as the lights of Montreal appeared in the distance.

In the dark I could just about make out his smile, "What else would I have done? She's your best friend. I'm sorry all the rest of the time was taken up with family obligations."

"Are you sure they really liked me?"

"Yes, they liked you." He sounded slightly exasperated. It was the third time I'd asked since we got in the car. "I don't know what you're so worried about, you don't have to join the NRA."

"Spike was mostly joking."

"Mostly?" His eyebrows shot up.

I leaned over and kissed his stubbly cheek. "Now who's worried?"

He moved his head towards mine. It was about as intimate as we can get while driving.

"I guess nothing in life is perfect. Did you know it says in the Way that if your life goes too smoothly then you start to worry that you're being given your reward in this world instead of the next?"

"I never heard that, do you think we should worry?"

Seth laughed, "Nope, something's bound to happen."

I blame him for jinxing us.

Simone opened the door to the top of the stairs we came up. "I tried calling you, but your phone went straight to voicemail."

"Sorry about that. I forgot to charge it last night and I don't have one those chargers you put in the cigarette lighter. Is everything okay? I thought I told you we'd be back late." I playfully leaned my cheek to hers to air kiss French style. Then I saw the look on her face.

"I know you said you'd be back late. That's what I told them but they wanted to wait."

"They?" Seth asked putting my case down on the little landing.

"They're in the living room. I think I might go to bed now." Simone turned and headed away.

"Good night," I mumbled as I glanced confused at Seth.

Leaving my bags were they were, Seth and I went into the living room.

"Hey Chloe, surprise!" Stacy said.
Chapter 18

It's a good thing I wasn't holding anything. As it was, I nearly fell over from shock.

"Hi," was the best I could come up with.

Stacy smiled warmly from the couch. Rob just sat there looking uncomfortable. Seth looked from me to them.

"Are you going to introduce us?" she asked.

"Seth, this is my sister Stacy, and that's Rob." I waved my hand vaguely.

"Sorry to just barge in on you. I was going to give you some warning that we were passing through, but your phone was off," Stacy explained.

"Yeah, so I hear. Apparently, today was the wrong day to forget to charge it." I sat down on the big bamboo chair. Seth brought an extra chair and set it down opposite me on the other side of the couch. I couldn't quite believe she was sitting there. I rubbed my head. Stacy reached over and took Rob's hand. They look like they were about to announce their engagement. But why come all the way here to tell me? I don't care if they get married.

"On the way to where? The North Pole? You live in Florida for Pete's sake." My brain was finally catching up with recent events.

Stacy looked shifty, "Ok so maybe on the way was not so accurate. We were mainly on our way here."

"To see me?"

Stacy nodded, and for the first time stood up from the couch.

"Holy crap! Are you pregnant?" I blurted out.

Her eyes filled with tears, "Yes."

I put my head in my hands, then I looked up at her. "Why? How? Okay, I know how. What the-?"

She just stood there, biting her lip and trying not to cry.

Rob looked like he'd rather brave the fires of hell than be sitting in my living room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Seth look from me to Stacy to Rob and back to me again.

"Do you smoke Rob?" Seth asked, "If not, now might be a good time to start. Why don't you join me out the back?"

Rob stood and obediently followed him out to the fire exit.

Stacy was still standing in front of me. We looked at each other in silence

"Are you going to say anything else?" she asked.

Wordlessly, I stood and wrapped my arms around her. She's slightly taller than me, but she laid her head on my shoulder and wept. I pulled her over to the couch and without moving my arms, I pulled us down to sit. She cried for a long time.

Eventually, just as my arms were beginning to ache, she pulled away. "What am I going to do?"

What you should have done is taken some precautions. How stupid are you? You go to the doctor and take the little pills every day, and if you miss a day, you use a condom, and if the condom breaks you go and get the emergency pill. You don't let this happen. Seth wouldn't lay a finger on me if he didn't know that we were taking care of things.

Swallowing my internal monologue, I asked, "How far are along are you?"

"Nearly four months."

"That's too late to-?" I let the question hang in the air.

"I wouldn't anyway. Rob would never let me. You can't just kill a baby."

Rob's not the one that's going to get stuck raising it for the rest of its life. It's easy to have principles with someone else's life.

She sighed, "I didn't realize at first. We were moving and then getting settled in, and then I was worked round the clock to save for school. I didn't notice that I was late. Until I realized I was very late. And then it was too late." She started to cry again. I got up and brought her a box of tissues.

"It didn't seem real until I started to show."

"I don't think I would have noticed if I wasn't your sister. I think it's the price of being thin; there's nowhere for the baby to grow but out. Baby bumps are cool these days, though." I sounded beyond lame, but I was trying to find the bright side.

"I didn't do this as a fashion accessory," Stacy shot back. At least I didn't have to worry about her topping herself or anything crazy if she still had the energy to bicker.

"No, I'm sure you didn't, but what are you going to do now?"

She shut her eyes, "I don't know. I just woke up on Thursday and went crazy. I told Rob I couldn't stay in Florida and be white trash. I was so mean to him. I was yelling and throwing things around. I said I had to be with my family, I had to come here and see you."

I tried not to laugh. I couldn't imagine perfect Stacy losing it quite like that.

"You just got on the bike and came?" I asked.

"No, Rob made me wait until we could borrow his friend's car. He doesn't want me riding such a long way in my condition."

"Very considerate of him." She didn't seem to notice my sarcasm.

Seth stuck his head around the kitchen door. Stacy was just staring blankly in front of her. I got up and walked over to Seth.

"Did you know that they drove nearly straight here?" he asked.

"It sounds like it was a pretty spur-of-the-moment decision."

"Can they sleep here?"

I hadn't even thought about where they were going to stay. I groaned.

"I could take them to my place, but I'd have to find something to say to Josh and it looks like Stacy really wants to be close to you."

I sighed, "The couch pulls out to be a bed. They'll have to share, but I think it's a bit too late to worry about that."

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked quietly.

"Good grief, yes."

I woke up alone. Without looking at my alarm clock I could tell it was still early. I tiptoed past Stacy and Rob still fast asleep on the sofa bed, to find Seth cooking up a storm while Simone tucked into the first batch of eggs.

"I'm so sorry about all of this," I said to Simone. "It's a bit more than you bargained for."

Simone waved her hand dismissively. "I was only too well aware that you hadn't invited sleepover guests without asking me. All I had to do was let them in and give up the couch. You got the worse part of the situation over here."

"Did Seth tell you what was going on?"

Simone smiled at Seth, for whom she had a soft spot. "Seth, as ever, was the perfect gentleman and said nothing, but I did happen to overhear them talking while they were waiting. Your sister is expecting, Non?"

"It's quite unexpected."

Simone nodded, "I assumed as much. What does she want you to do? I'm happy for Seth to be our unofficial third roommate since he does more than his fair share in the kitchen, but your sister, her boyfriend and their lovechild would be pushing the bounds of our lease."

"I'm glad you can joke about it," I answered and then quickly smiled so she'd know I wasn't offended. "The truth is I have no idea. What can she do?"

"Has she told your parents?" Simone reached for another blueberry muffin. Had Seth baked them this morning?

"Definitely not, I'd have heard the yelling all the way from Texas by now. I must be the first one she's told."

Just then we heard voices from the living room and that put an end to our speculation. Stacy knocked on the shut kitchen door. I opened it and smiled as warmly as I could manage.

"Hey, did you sleep well? The bathroom is through here if you want to get washed up before breakfast."

"Thanks," Stacy said groggily making her way through.

"There's extra towels on the toilet," Seth called after her.

I flashed him a smile of gratitude.

Her hunger satisfied or possibly just to avoid the tension, Simone thanked Seth and excused herself. Before I knew it the four of us were sitting around the small kitchen table playing happy families.

"Does he always cook like this?" Stacy asked me as she took her second slice of French toast.

"Frequently."

"Although, I can't change a spark plug," Seth said quickly.

Rob looked up from his plate. "Have you ever actually tried?"

Seth smiled sheepishly, "Not recently."

Rob shrugged, "Food's good though. It's a good idea to know how to fend for yourself when you're dealing with the Diaz girls."

Seth snorted and Stacy looked at Rob sharply.

"I thought it was just Chloe."

"I told you, it's not our fault. Look who our role model was," I interjected.

"Is your mother really that bad?" Seth asked.

Stacy and I nodded in unison. "Mom could burn water."

"You've actually gotten pretty good, all things considered," Rob said to Stacy. I saw him rub her knee under the table.

"I spent a lot of time watching the cooking channel," she smiled back at him.

There was a pause, before it became uncomfortable, Seth turned to Stacy. "I don't want to bring up awkward topics, but it happens I met Chloe's fine friend Spike for the first time yesterday. Spike suggested that I change my voting practices to Republican if I want to win a place in your father's good graces. Is that true?"

Stacy stifled a giggle, "You're a Democrat? Good luck."

Rob eyed Seth suspiciously, "Are you serious, man? You'd vote Obama back in, after what he's done to this country? All he wants to do is raise the taxes of regular hardworking Americans to give free health care to a bunch of freeloading immigrants. Our boys are over in Iraq risking their lives to keep America free and he's making nice to the Saudis."

Seth kept a totally straight face, "I think you've a got a good point. We do have to evaluate the price of our relationship with dictators especially those known for human rights abuses." Seth paused, "By the way, Rob, are you a member of the NRA?"

"Of course."

I looked at Stacy, "You know if Dad ever lets him through the front door, they'll probably get on like a house on fire." Then I regretted saying it as I saw a cloud pass over Stacy's face as thought about Mom and Dad.

"They're going to kill me," she whispered.

Rob slipped one arm around her shoulders. "Shhh," he whispered soothingly.

"I'm not sure it can actually get any worse. I know it's not the most comforting thing to say, but if they already disowned you, what else can they do?"

"Dad could buy a shotgun." Stacy looked up.

I smiled back and followed her lead, "No, we're in Canada. I'm not sure they'll let him into the country."

The mood successfully rescued, the conversation stayed thankfully light after that.

Later Stacy and I did the dishes, as Rob took it upon himself to teach Seth to change a spark plug.

"Will you tell her for me?" Stacy asked as she dried a cereal bowl.

"Mom?" I asked without turning around from the sink. "Is that why you came here?"

"I don't know why I came here. I needed to be with family. I just can't pick up the phone after all this time and tell her myself. What if she yells? What if she just hangs up? I just can't deal with her telling me I've ruined my life."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the tears running down her cheek.

"I know that already. I just can't take hearing it from her," she sobbed.

I wasn't sure whether I should turn around or not. Before I decided, Stacy had dried her eyes with the dishcloth.

"You seem to be doing well for yourself. He's a nice guy, this Seth of yours. Things seem pretty serious." Her tone was way too casual to be casual.

"It is," I said carefully. I was about to add, "But we're not rushing into anything," but realized how untactful it would be and stopped myself just in time.

"Rob looks like he really cares about you."

"He does," she sniffed. "That's why he agreed to drive all the way up here. He was going crazy seeing me so upset."

Perhaps he should have thought of that before. It takes two to tango.

"What does Rob think you should do?" I asked.

"He thinks we should go back to Texas. His mom's in Anthony." She sounded very reluctant.

I turned around to face her. "It's not a crazy idea. You're going to need help from someone. Rob's going to need to work, right? You'll go crazy if you're stuck at home by yourself with just a baby for company. At least if you're at his mom's, you can go out without the baby for a few hours."

Stacy sighed, "You're right but what if I bump into Mom or worse, Dad?"

"They're not exactly hanging around there. You'll probably be safe, but realize you will have to see them again sometime."

"If they agree to see me." Her voice dripped with pain. It must be pretty hard to know that your parents could just drop you like that.

"I'm sorry it's so hard for you," I said as I went to hug her.

"Your parents are supposed to love you no matter what you do," she said into my shoulder. "I didn't even do anything that bad. I've never tried drugs. I think you've been drunk more times than I have." She pulled away and looked at me. I wasn't sure what to say. It was probably true.

"Are you sure you want me to tell her?" I asked.

"What's the alternative? Send her a world's best grandma magnet and hope she figures it out?"

I looked at my watch, "Do you want me to do it right now? She's probably in the shop already. That way if she freaks out at least Dad's not standing right there next to her."

Stacy nodded her agreement, "But I'm not staying here to watch."

Seth struck the perfect balance of not actually leaving but pretending he was busy doing something else in the living room so I could make the call alone in my bedroom.

"Hey Mom, how're you doing?"

"Pretty good, just wrestling some hydrangeas. Wasn't this weekend the big trip to Boston, how'd it go?"

I fiddled with a stay strand of hair, "It went well. I think his parents like me. I met his sister and his grandparents. Everyone was nice and friendly."

"I'm glad to hear that. I thought it would go well. How was Spike? Are the other brainiacs giving her a run for her money?"

"She seems to be settling in. I think she's enjoying the school part. I think she likes having other people around who are as smart as her, it makes for more of a challenge."

"Very nice, well I'm glad you had a good time."

"Mom?" I took a deep breath.

"Uh huh," she said, she was probably using both hands and her teeth to make some complicated arrangement. I waited a minute so she could put down the sharp implements.

"What?" She asked.

"Stacy's here. She came up with Rob to visit." I paused.

"Chloe, you're allowed to see your sister. You don't have to make a big confessional out of it."

"Yeah, I know Mom. There's something else. She asked me to tell you she's pregnant."

There was a long awful pause. I heard the scissors being put down and still she didn't say anything.

I let another minute go by before I said, "Mom, did you hear me?" Although I knew she had.

"Yes, I heard you," she said very carefully. "How long have you known?"

"I just found out last night. I didn't even know they were coming, I just got home and here they were." I stopped talking because I realized I was apologizing again and this wasn't my fault.

There was another pause.

"Do you know how far along she is?"

"She said about four months. I'm not sure how carefully she was keeping track of her periods." I leaned against the window frame. Why did I have to be the bearer of bad news?

"Has she seen a doctor?"

"I don't know."

"She needs to make sure she's eating right. Is she taking vitamins?"

"I don't know, Ma." I was getting frustrated.

"How does she seem?" she asked quietly.

"To be honest, she's scared senseless. She doesn't know what she's going to do. Rob wants them to move in with his mother in Anthony. I don't think she wants to though. She doesn't seem to know whether she's coming or going. I think it's all too much for her."

There was another pause.

When Mom spoke she had her determined voice on, "Is she still staying with you? I'd like to speak to her."

"Yeah, but she's not here right now."

"Please call me when she gets in, I'll be in the shop."

I was still staring out the window when Seth stuck his head around the door to check on me.

"How'd it go?"

I turned to look at him, "Better than it could have. There was no shouting. I don't think she's running out to start knitting booties, but she didn't flip out, either. Unless she's saving it for later. She wants me to call her when Stacy gets back."

"Are you going to class today?" he walked over to where I was standing and slipped his arms around me.

"It's doesn't look like it. One more day won't ruin my whole academic career. It feels wrong to just walk out and leave them here. Should we take them up on the mountain later or something?"

"We're just going to pretend this is a social visit?"

I shrugged, "We might as well; it beats sitting around here and just yelling or crying the whole time."

We were sitting together on the sofa when Rob and Stacy reappeared. I was going through slides with my laptop on my knees, leaning against Seth who was reading the latest anti-Obama op-ed piece because he likes to know what the opposition is saying.

"Was it awful?" Stacy asked as I looked up.

"Remarkably not. She asked a few questions. She didn't seem that happy, but there was no actual yelling."

"Wait until Dad finds out." Stacy sank into the armchair.

"There was one thing."

"What?" She bolted upright.

"She wants to talk to you. She made me promise I'd call as soon as you came in."

"So she can yell at me in person?" Stacy wasn't exactly running to make the call.

"I don't know, she sounded weird. Could you just go do it please? It won't get any better if you put it off, and I'll just get stuck in the middle." I just didn't have patience to deal with it anymore.

"You can use my room if you want privacy."

She looked like a lost little girl. "I'd rather stay here. If you don't mind."

"Whatever you want."

Seth and I busied ourselves with looking like we weren't listening. Rob was staring straight ahead. He doesn't say much. Is he always like that, or is it just this unbelievably awkward situation? He seems pleasant enough, but what does Stacy see in him? I don't see anything that would make him worth all this trouble.

Stacy looked over at Rob before picking up her phone.

I could hear it ringing as she held it away from her. Maybe she was willing it to go to voicemail.

"Hi, Mom? It's me, Stacy." There was a pause, I'm not sure either of them said anything.

Stacy cracked first, "Chloe spoke to you?"

Now Stacy had the phone to her ear I couldn't hear what Mom was saying, only what Stacy was replying.

"Yes, it's true." Stacy bit her lip trying not to cry.

"I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Yes, I'm having the baby." Stacy's tone was sharp. I guess she was getting sick of being asked that question.

"Rob's got a steady job, we'll be fine. We've managed so far." Stacy stood up and started pacing around the room.

"What else is there to do?"

She looked over at Rob, "We might stay with Rob's Mom for a while."

Stacy sighed, "Yes, in Anthony."

"I speak better Spanish than you do."

She walked over to where Rob was still standing. He slipped one arm around her.

Stacy's face went white. "You've got to be joking. What did you just say?"

"Are you really serious?"

Seth and I stopped all pretense of doing anything but eavesdropping.

"What about Rob?"

She rolled her eyes, "Dad would really love that."

Stacy pulled away from Rob. "It was his idea?"

Rob mouthed "what?" to Stacy, but she just shook her head back.

"Both of us, together? For how long?"

Tears were welling up in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"I'll have to talk to him about it. It's not my decision to make alone." One big tear slid down her cheek.

"I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Thank you, Mom. I love you too."

She hung up.

We all just stared at her as she stood there in the middle of the room with tears running down her face, but something was different.

Rob spoke first, "And?"

Stacy looked at him, "They want us to go and live with them. Both of us, you and me, together in their house in El Paso. For as long as we want. At least until we get on our feet."

I opened my mouth to speak and then remembered it wasn't my moment.

You could see Rob thinking about it. Finally he said, "That's unexpected. Is that what you want to do?"

"Maybe," Stacy said in a little voice.

Rob wrinkled his brow, "I could probably get my job back at Ted's. It would be a big help to have your mom around to lend a hand with the baby. The small'uns sure take up a lot of time. Your Dad's okay with this plan?"

Stacy nodded, "It was his idea."

"It was his idea?!" I exploded, unable to help myself.

Stacy looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time, "I know, I think aliens must have taken over his body, but Mom says it was his idea."

"That's it? We just move in, have a baby and stay as long as we want, with no conditions?" Rob asked.

"Mom didn't say it was conditional."

"There ain't much in life that's free," Rob replied.

"Maybe the price is that then you have to live with Mom and Dad," I suggested.

Stacy smiled. "It might actually work, at least in the short term."

"We should think it over for a bit before giving them an answer," Rob said, although it was clear that Stacy was already sold and that Rob would do whatever made Stacy happy.

Seth and I shared a look which meant something like, "All's well that ends well? Let's freaking hope so."
Chapter 19

At noon on the third day, Rob and Stacy finally left. I came home between classes to wave them off. Seth showed up just as they were getting into the car. We stood side by side and waved as they pulled off down the street.

When the car rounded the corner, Seth turned to me and smiled, "Look you survived! Well done."

I laughed at his sudden vote of confidence. "Thanks, I guess. Although once we knew they were going to go live with Mom and Dad, it all got a lot easier. It was a bit surreal though, doing the whole sightseeing, welcome to Montreal thing."

I opened the door for him and we headed upstairs. Without giving it much thought, I sat down at the table and watched Seth move around the kitchen.

"I think I lost the vote on the whole Victoria gig issue," Seth said as he started chopping vegetables. "It's in another month. Huddy's all for making a giant road trip out of it and seeing how many gigs we can line up along the way. I hear where he's coming from. It would be a good chance to increase the band's profile. We're doing pretty well here in Quebec, but frankly our wider profile sucks. Playing actual gigs is more effective marketing than any amount of Facebook or MySpace presence, unless we can get one of our songs to go viral, and that's a matter of total luck. But it means being gone for a good few weeks, if not a month. I'm not sure I want to do that. Alec would give me the time off work but... "

He trailed off.

"Chloe, Earth to Chloe, are you listening?"

I shook myself, "You're going to Victoria?"

"Could be." He looked at me, "Do you want to tell me what's going on? Where are you?"

I looked up at him; involuntarily he took a step back. "I just can't get over Rob," I said furiously. "Who the hell does he think he is? He just sails into town and takes over her whole life. What the hell is that?"

"Whoa, slow down a minute. You're mad at Rob?" Seth sat down opposite me.

"I'm not mad at Rob, I'm fucking furious at Rob."

"I get that. But why?"

"Why?" I banged the table. "He ruined her life!"

Seth kept his tone very calm, "He didn't do it single-handedly. She did have a part in it. It was her choice too."

"Was it?" I yelled. "She's so head over heels for the jerk that she can't see what she's doing, until it's too bloody late. She dropped out of an Ivy League school to go ride around on his bike and have his lovechild."

"It's all Rob's fault? Stacy didn't have anything to do with it?"

"Of course it's Rob's fault. If he loves her so much he should have been looking out for her. Someone should have told her get a grip and sort it out with Mom and Dad instead of just taking off. Someone should have made sure they were taking precautions. If he loves her, he should have had her back and not just blindly let her make any stupid choice that came into her head."

"It's his responsibility to make sure she makes good choices?"

I gave him a look, "Love means not letting the other person destroy themselves just to be with you. Love means doing what's best for them even if it's hard for you. Love comes with responsibilities."

Seth took a deep breath, "Maybe Rob tried. He seemed like a pretty decent guy to me. Maybe he did try to get her to do something else, maybe he thought this was really the best choice."

"It's not possible. Rob is probably the only person she would have listened to. If he'd tried he could have stopped it turning out like this."

Seth nodded, "Her life's not over, things can still turn out okay. It wasn't the way anyone expected it to go, but she has actually made up with your parents. If she has their support she should be able to go to college and care for the baby."

"I hope so," I said darkly.

Seth got up and went back to the vegetables sizzling in the frying pan.

After a minute he turned back with a smile, "Does that mean you want me to put my two cents in more frequently?"

I returned his smile, "You've never been that shy about giving your opinion."

"I don't know if that's true," he sighed. "I think you're wrong about Rob, but I'm not going to push it. I know the whole thing's hard for you."

I shrugged but I felt some of my anger dissipating. "What's for lunch?" I asked suddenly.

"Stir-fry. I was wondering if you'd ask before you starting eating."

"Sorry about that. Will you tell me again about the gig in Victoria?"

Bernie walked me back through the campus after our usual Thursday mid-afternoon caffeine infusion.

"I'm going to the library, so I'll see you later," I said as we reached the Arts building.

"More studying? You are a glutton for punishment," Bernie chuckled.

"I have to catch up what I missed with all of the excitement this week, but also there's a book I want to check out."

"You use real books?"

"Some things you just can't find on Wikipedia," I joked. "Also I'm meeting Seth after band practice for even more coffee before he goes to work and I ride the caffeine wave to study glory. I'd better grab the book before it's time to meet up."

Just then my phone buzzed, I looked down, "Speak of the devil," I said as I waved goodbye and headed into the warm library.

I texted back.

Got to get a book from the library, be ready in a few.

Seth replied.

I'll meet you there.

*

Tal crouched panting.

"Was that it?" Jov asked cautiously.

"I don't think so," she answered breathlessly. "I feel more coming. Just be ready."

"As ready as I can be," Jov still managed to sound cheerful.

Tal rolled her eyes, "How can you be so perky?"

"We won," Jov smiled.

"By the skin of our teeth. Every day it gets worse. Without the Courts we'd be getting massacred."

"But we're not," Jov winked.

"Could you give me a break?" Tal lost her patience. "Great, we're still alive, just. While we're being hammered by the Adversary, she's out there feeding it. Every little kiss makes them stronger and she just doesn't care."

Noy had been ignoring the exchange happening next to her, now she said quietly, "Is now really the time?"

"When is the time?" Tal exploded. "We keep avoiding the topic. We know what is causing this. Why aren't we doing something about it?"

"What do you think we should do? Kidnap them? Force them apart?" Noy said. "We tried talking to her."

"A fat lot of good it did," Tal grumbled.

"It was our best shot. Now we have to fight the battle in the Palace. As above, so below: If we win here, we'll change the physical world."

"Or we'll die," Tal shot back.

"Tal, enough already," Jov was uncharacteristically firm. "All we can do is Serve, pray and wait for He Who Knows to hear our prayers. A little more faith would do more good than all these 'should've, could've, would'ves.' You did the best you could with the information you had. If you've got a problem with how the world's being run, take it up with He Who See's when you get to the Throne Room. In the meantime, shut up!"

Before Tal could respond there was a menacing growl to their left. They each held their weapons tighter.

"Here we go again," said Noy as the attack came.

*

I looked the book up at the computer bank on the ground floor, then made my way to the fourth floor. I was counting the stacks concentrating on the index numbers and hoping that no one else had the book out. That's the only way I can explain how I managed to walk straight into her. She was sitting on a chair by the edge of the stacks as I came around the corner. I literally fell over her legs. I felt that familiar adrenalin rush and my head go slightly woozy. For a second her eyes still had that vacant look I associate with her being in the Palace. Suddenly something flashed across her face and she was on her feet facing me.

"You?" she spat.

"Yes, it's me. I'm sorry I disturbed you. I was just looking for a book."

"Everywhere I go, it's you," she growled.

I looked at her surprised, "I don't know why because the last I remember you were dropping me like a hot potato for not dumping my boyfriend when you told me to."

"I'm risking my life so that you can swan around doing whatever you like." Her eyes were dark with hatred.

"I thought I was an Other, I thought I can do whatever I want," I argued.

"But he's not." It was so simple for her.

Then I lost my temper. "Are you all racist? Why can't he be with anyone he wants?"

She looked at me like I was something that had crawled out from under a stone, "You can't split your heart in two. He can't be in the Palace and here with you. If he tries then he's cheating on one of you, but mostly himself."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "Don't you people love?"

"Of course we do. You can't even conceive the love inside the Palace," she sneered. "Others talk about loving with their souls, but usually they mean with their hormones. Soul love is beyond forever. When you fall in love in the Palace you touch the divine. He Who Knows is actually the third party in your relationship."

"So you're polygamous?" I mocked.

Tal gave me a withering look, "I don't think it counts as polygamy when one of the parties is omniscient."

In measured tones I said, "I'm not breaking up with my boyfriend because some weirdo religious chick told me to."

"Once I was your friend." She looked at me.

I looked back at her, "I thought so too. Tal. Don't you understand where I'm coming from?" There was an unexpected note of pleading in my voice.

"No. Of everyone, I thought you'd understand me. This is not just some game we're playing. This isn't Dungeons and Dragons on a Thursday night. This is people's lives. It's the whole world. You're playing God and you just don't care."

Now I was furious, "I'm playing God? I'm not the one going around ordering people to do things. We all need to bow down to you because you're in the Palace? You're the one trying to dictate how the world runs."

Tal shook her head, "Don't you think I'd want it to be different? Don't you think I wish you could keep your perfect boyfriend? You don't know what it's like. You get to choose. You can choose to bring Oblivion into the world. You can choose to let him die. But I can't. I have to Serve whether I like it or not."

"Everyone gets a choice," I said calmly.

"Not a good one," she replied. The anger seemed to go out of her. "I thought you were different, but Gal's right. You are like all the Others. I'm sorry we had to become adversaries. But we will fight you and, it be His will, we will win."

I rolled my eyes, "What are you going to do, send me threatening messages?"

Tal's expression was stoic, "We'll fight you in the Palace. The place of power is the moment, and Connection is the tool."

"Okay," I shrugged sounding much more casual than I felt. "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough."

We stood there and stared at each other, as if looks could kill.

Stupid religious freaks. She sounded so bloody believable for a while there. I must have been hallucinating. Saving the world, huh! (I just thought huh, am I losing it, too?) No, I'm the normal one with the loving boyfriend and the nice life. I kind of feel sorry for her and her sad little life. No wonder she wants to go around scaring normal people, she needs some sort of mutant validation. If God wants me to break up with Seth, He can let me know without her help.

"That's it?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"What else is there?" she asked.

It was only as I turned to go that I realized the whole conversation had happened in the Palace. She hadn't come all the way out before she started yelling at me. It didn't make me feel any better.

I wheeled around with one last parting shot, "It will take more than your merry little band to split us up. This isn't some schoolgirl crush that's going to fade in the morning. You'd better have some pretty big guns if you plan to break our bond."

"The biggest," she whispered.

I turned my head to leave once and for all but froze in my tracks when I saw the thing coming.

In all the times I'd seen the Palace through Tal's eyes, I'd never seen anything like it. Even with all the late night horror marathons I'd had with Spike, I'd never seen anything like it.

The thing slouched towards me. Its skin was viscous and dripped slowly downward. There were no eyeballs in the sockets, the mouth hung open and listless, revealing a black hole dotted with a few decaying teeth. From its shoulders hung the tatters of a robe. This was the anti-Knight, a dying thing slouching towards Bethlehem to be born. My hands were shaking, but I didn't lose it totally until it spoke.

"Chlo?"

I screamed. It stopped its advance.

"What is that?" I cried to Tal.

Her face was impassive, "Your boyfriend."

I gripped the stacks behind me for support.

"That's what he looks like in the Palace," she said simply as she walked away.
Chapter 20

As soon as she left, the picture faded away. In front of me stood Seth my loving boyfriend, light of my life and match for my soul. I was still shaking. He slipped his arms around me.

"What did she do to you?" he whispered.

I looked up at his perfect face. There were no words for me to say.

"What happened?" his tone was fierce but low, after all we were still in the library.

I couldn't speak.

"What's going on here?" The firm tone of the security guard seemed jarringly loud.

I looked from him to Seth and realized he assumed Seth was the cause of my screaming. They take harassment very seriously on campus.

Quickly I said, "I saw a spider."

The guard gave me a withering look, "Listen lady this is a library, you have to be quiet, spiders or no spiders." He looked at the rage on Seth's face, clearly not convinced by my spur-of-the-moment lie. "Do you want to come with me to the nurse?" he asked more kindly.

I shook my head, "No, I'm just going to go home. I'm sorry I disturbed you."

The guard watched us walk out side by side.

Seth wheeled around and faced me as soon as we passed through the heavy library doors, "What was that? Chloe, what's going on?" His voice rang with a mixture of anger and fear.

I looked at him and found strength I didn't know I had, "The same as before. I should break up with you. I'm killing you in the Palace. You have a destiny to perform. And I'm the big bad, blah, blah, blah." My tone was light and while he wasn't totally convinced, he took my hand and we started walking.

"So why'd you scream?"

I smiled sheepishly, "I think I'm losing it. I don't really know. It's all just been a bit too much, all of this stuff with Tal and the whole Stacy thing. Also I'm getting my period. My poor feminine brain just can't take any more angst."

The period thing had him stumped, he couldn't argue with hormones. He put one arm around me and pulled me in close.

"Ok, but if she bothers you again-" he growled.

"Give me a break, I appreciate the macho moment, but what are you going to do, go around with a few heavies and beat her up? I don't think she's going to try again. She didn't mean to be speaking to me today. I wasn't looking where I was going and I walked straight into her. I can't imagine there's going to be a rematch. If there is, I can handle myself. It takes more than one little girl to scare me."

I saw he wanted to argue with me. I must have looked awful, but I had a point, there wasn't much he could do.

"What do you want to do about dinner?" he asked.

I had no appetite for anything. My mind was spinning and I desperately needed to get back to my own room to think things through. But I couldn't just ditch him, then he'd know something was up.

"I don't know that I actually need any more caffeine. Why don't we grab a sandwich or something from Gert's? I was going to study tonight, but now I'm thinking a hot bath and an early night might do me more good."

Seth nodded, although the fast food option was not his favorite.

As soon as we'd sat down, in walked Bret and Andy. Bret called over from across the bar, "Seth, Mrs. Seth"

Seth shot me a look asking for my permission. I nodded and smiled warmly as they came and sat down. Bret was in great form and Seth couldn't resist rising to the challenge. Soon a small crowd had gathered to watch the masters at work and the jokes flew back and forth. I thanked my lucky stars for the diversion. All I had to do was eat my burger and chuckle at their great wit. Best of all, I was able to keep the mute button firmly pressed on all my thoughts.

I walked Seth out when he had to go to work, although I wouldn't have minded staying. I had to stick to my going to bed early story.

"Shall I come up later?" he asked as we parted company.

I shook my head, "I'll be out cold, don't bother. I'll call you tomorrow."

He looked at me. I almost always said yes, but he let it go. He kissed me goodbye, and I began my weary trudge up the hill towards home.

"Hi Simone," I called as I came through the front door.

"Hey, Chloe. How are you? I'm just Skype-ing Brent," she called from behind her bedroom door.

"Tell him I say Hi. Have a good night, I'm on my way to bed," I called back.

"Good night."

I hung my coat up and pulled off my boots. I made it until my bedroom door shut behind me. Then my strength ran out. I slid in a crumpled heap on the floor, my back against the door as the sobs racked my body. There was nothing coherent enough to call a thought, just the image of Seth's Palace face filling my mind.

I don't know how long I lay there crying what felt like my entire life into the old shag pile carpet. Eventually the tears slowed enough for me to drag myself over to the bed. But then my pillow smelled of him and the floodgates opened again. Now it was worse, the thoughts came like a hundred arrows piercing my heart.

Tal said that your Palace face is your real face. It's who you are spiritually.

Spiritually Seth is a decaying monster.

How can that be?

Tal says it's because of me; I'm the Big Bad that's killing my boyfriend, killing him softly.

It can't be. How could something that feels so good, so true, be so bad? How can I be killing him?

It must be a mistake or a trick. She must have some way of doing it. That thing can't be Seth.

Seth says he doesn't believe, and even if it's true he doesn't care. He'll give up his place in the Palace for me.

Seth would give me his whole life, in this world and the next.

But can I take it from him?

My thoughts spun around. I screamed into my pillow. The release calmed me slightly and I reached for my phone.

"It's a good thing it's you, chica. After twelve is not the best time for a social call," Spike said slightly sleepily.

The sound of her voice broke me all over again. I couldn't even say her name. I just sobbed into the phone.

Instantly, she was wide awake. "Take your time," she said softly.

Spike listened to me cry while I struggled to find my voice.

"It's Seth," I finally managed to say.

"It was either him or Stacy," Spike quipped to try to lighten the mood. "Did you have a fight?"

"No," I choked back more tears.

"Did he do something to you?" Spike sounded really worried.

"No."

"Chloe, I've never heard you like this before, what the hell's going on? Did you get yourself knocked up also?"

"No. I saw him, and it was awful. He's dying, and it's all my fault." The words came tumbling out.

"Whoa, can we do a Julie Andrews and start at the very beginning, please? Seth's sick?"

I took a deep breath, "No. Not really."

"From the top, what happened?"

"I was in the library, and I saw Tal. She was in the Palace. She wouldn't have seen me, but I tripped over her and then she like half woke up and we had this big fight."

I could almost hear Spike nodding as I spoke, "Anything new or just the same old stuff?"

"The same, I'm killing Seth and destroying the world."

Spike sighed, "That girl needs some assistance in the mental health department. But if it was the same old stuff, what got you so worked up?"

A fat tear trickled down my left cheek. I tried to steady myself.

"I guess because I disturbed her, she didn't actually come all the way out of the Palace. I could still see what she was seeing."

"Okay." She was waiting to see where this was going.

"Then Seth came over, he was supposed to meet me and he walked right into it."

I choked back a sob. "Spike, I saw what Seth looks like in the Palace. Tal was right, it's awful. His skin was falling off him and-" I could hardly get the words out. "I'm killing him. Seth's dying in the Palace and it's because of me," I wailed. There was a pause while she digested the information.

"Oh, fuck." That about summed it up.

She listened to me cry again.

When my sobs subsided, she asked, "Are you sure? Was it a trick? This Tal chick really wants to get her way on this one, maybe she's pulling a fast one on you?"

I rubbed my eyes, "I don't think so. She looked pretty surprised to see him. How could she plan for that? She didn't know I was going to be there, let alone that he was going to come and find me."

"I don't know. She's part of the God squad. She might have all sorts of things up her sleeve. He's got some good tricks, God."

I sat up on the bed, "Spike, listen to yourself. I don't want to be on the side that fights against Him. It's God, for heaven's sake! The Master of the Universe, what am I supposed to do, fight Him for Seth? Seth says any price is worth it for us to be together, but how can he really mean it? He doesn't think there is a price. He thinks Tal's a hysterical weirdo, the Palace is a tool to keep the poor in their place and God's a pleasant construct."

I ran out of ranting steam and waited for her to say something.

"What are you going to do?" she asked carefully.

"I have no idea. Right now I'm only up to freaking out."

I heard her breath in, "Go to sleep. It's nearly one in the morning. This is not something you want to decide on the spur of the moment. Call me when you get up."

I nodded, it was the best advice I'd get for the time being. "Ok, good point."

Just as I was about to hang up, she said, "Chica, it's going to be ok. If God's real, then He's also big. There has to be a way for this to work out."

I woke to my phone buzzing. It was Seth. I didn't answer. I looked at my alarm. I had enough time to get to get up, grab a coffee and get to class. Three classes back to back wouldn't give me too much time to think.

On the way to class I texted Spike:

Thanks for last night. Hope you made it to class. Call you later.

Immediately she replied:

I had an idea. I'll call later and let you know if it pans out.

By the end of my third class, I saw I had two missed calls from Spike and a text from Seth.

Seth wrote:

Good morning lovely. I hope you feel better for all the rest. I tried to call you - did you forget to charge your phone again? Lunch at my place.

I was about to dial Spike when my phone buzzed again with a text from her.

Got class now, need a couple of hours to work on this, call you later, k? keep smiling.

I wondered what mystery activity Spike had planned. But I had bigger things to worry about.

How am I going to get out of lunch with Seth? I can't tell him what happened. I can't just go to lunch and pretend that everything is normal. He'll know straightaway that something is up. Then what am I going to tell him? Tal was right, I'm killing you and I don't know what to do about it? He'll find some way to convince me that I'm mistaken, that it must have been a trick of the light, and I'll want to believe him. I want his kisses to make it all better. But those kisses are killing him. What if one more pushes him over the edge and it's too late?

I hadn't been paying any attention to where I was going so I nearly jumped when someone called my name.

"Hey, Chloe," Bernie was standing next to Maxine as she smoked one of those horrible French cigarettes that even Seth wouldn't touch if he had no alternative.

"Are you guys trying to get frostbite?" Thankfully my mouth was on autopilot again.

"Every winter I decide that's it, no more smoking, it's just not worth it. And then I have to write a thesis or have an exam and I forget all my good reasoning." Max shook her head at her own folly.

"What's your excuse?" I asked Bernie, "You don't even smoke."

"No, but watching Max here freeze while doing it makes me happy that I don't. And I'm a good friend."

"You're more dedicated than I am. These days I make Seth go on the balcony and I open the patio door and talk to him through the crack, while wearing a coat."

Behind us a voice called, "Not one of you is a real Canadian, what are you all doing loitering around outside in this weather?"

Josh came over with Ethan.

"Waiting for you," Max purred.

Josh snorted, "I think it's lunchtime, people. Where are we going?"

"I think Seth's cooking," I said quickly.

Ethan's face lit up. Josh whipped his phone out of his pocket.

"Bro, I hear you're making lunch. Is this a private party for you and the missus or can anyone crash?"

Seth said something and Josh passed the phone to me, "Apparently you're the decider."

"Do you have enough food?" I asked before he could speak. "Josh is here with Ethan and Bernie and Maxine."

"I wasn't planning anything so exciting it can't stretch. Tell Josh to pick up more bread on the way, but are you sure that you want a whole crowd? I thought it would be just you and me."

My heart wrenched, but my voice stayed steady, "Why not have everyone? We can hang out later."

"Fair enough," his tone shrugged.

I handed the phone back to Josh. "We're on."

We all headed over to the apartment. Lunch dragged on and after a while I pulled my books from my bag and started studying on the sofa in the living room. Seth finished the dishes and came to sit on the other side from me. I looked up and smiled and prayed I seemed natural and relaxed.

"I have to work tonight," he said after a while. "It's Henri's mom's birthday. I said I'd swap with him, so that gives us a free weekend."

"Nice." I flashed a smile, "I'm still in mega catch up study mode. Hopefully by the weekend I'll be ready to play again."

"Does that mean I should come straight home again?" I could hear the effort he was exerting to keep his tone casual.

I nodded, "Might as well." I reached out and stroked his hand. I'm not sure if I was trying to reassure him or me. He didn't seem too bothered. He was obviously a bit concerned, but seemed to be buying my excuse.

I left around five, making up a nonexistent study date with Jen. It was dark already and the temperature was dropping. Even with my gloves, I was reluctant to take my hand out of my pocket to answer the phone. It was worth the effort, finally Spike was getting back to me.

"Hey, chica."

"Hey you," I said back, "Where have you been? Did you have to get all mysterious on me?"

"Sorry about that. How've you been today?" Her tone was genuine.

"Just about holding it together. I saw Seth. I made sure we weren't alone. I'm just not ready to deal yet. I'm sure he knows something is going on, but I made up a lame excuse about studying."

"Can't you just blame it on your period or something?"

I chuckled, "I tried, but PMS has never stopped me hanging out with him before. I hope he'll think it's Stacy fallout. The trouble is I usually talk to him about these things. He'll have to think whatever he thinks. I'm trying to keep things normal but I have to know what's going on before I talk to him properly."

Spike sighed, "Where are you?"

"Nearly home, why?"

"I want to talk to you about all this stuff, but I thought I'd wait until you were somewhere suitable." She sounded a little tense.

"You might as well just start talking, I've only got a block to go. No one's around, but I think I can wait until I get home before I lose it."

There was a little pause while she collected her thoughts. "Today I met with the campus Guide."

"You took a tour of the campus?" My brain was working slowly.

"No, dufus, the spiritual Guide for the People, big 'P,' on campus at Harvard."

I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. "Oh sorry, engage brain, try again."

"I heard he's a pretty cool guy, but a real Guide who actually Serves in the Palace. Not one of those jokers in robes you were telling me about. It took a while until I could track him down, and then I had to wait for him to have time. Who knew they were so busy? I guess he's off fighting the good fight most of the day. Anyway I just got out of meeting with him."

My heart was beating faster, "How'd it go?"

"I told him the sitch: you met this guy, one of the People, but not a religious one, you're really in love, think he's the one, but religious dudes say you're killing him, you tell them to go jump but then you see him in the Palace and he's all decaying, and now you're freaking out."

"What did he say?" I stood outside my apartment waiting for an answer before I walked up the stair.

Spike took a deep breath, "Sorry, love. He said you're probably killing him. He doesn't know the full story, but it's bad news for the People to be cast out from the Palace. He said they can get back in, but only if they stop doing whatever it was that got them chucked out in the first place. You can only make the Quest thing if your intent is pure, not if you just want to marry the guy. If he has no interest in Service and you stay together then he'll probably die in the Palace."

She paused. I didn't say anything. Woodenly, I let myself in and made my way up stairs.

"Was that it?" I asked eventually.

"He said this actually happens all the time. Back in the old days none of the People would dream of shacking up with an Other. But these days there are so many People that don't know about the Palace, it happens a lot. Apparently this is just about the only thing you can do to get yourself chucked out because it cuts off your future kids as well as yourself."

I sank onto the sofa, "What do they do about it?"

"Try and get the People even the Serf ones to only date other People. Teach them about how great the Palace is so they won't want to do anything else. There doesn't seem to be a very good answer. It sucks is the bottom line."

I struggled to breathe, "If I stay with him, I kill him and if I break up with him... " I shuddered at the thought.

"I'm really freaking sorry," Spike said. "I was hoping I'd be able to find you some magic loophole."

"Life's a bitch," I said with way too much irony.

"And then you die." She sounded like she was about to cry.

My tears started to fall, "But it sounds like it's either me or him."

Spike said nothing. She let me cry again.

"Hey, maybe he's not really one of them. Maybe his mother did this fake Quest-lite thing they were trying to get you to do." She was really grasping at straws.

"I saw him in the Palace. He's really one of them. It's really as bad as it looks. There's no silver lining over here," I silenced her.

Tentatively, she asked, "Are you going to talk to Him about it?"

"No" I said quickly. "I can't talk to him about this. He'll try and wish it away with positive thinking and fancy logic. I have to do it by myself."

"What about Him, capital H?"

"God?"

"Yeah, isn't that kind of what got you into this whole mess? If He's really out there, why can't you talk to Him? It can't hurt."

I took a deep breath, "You might be right. Pray. There isn't much else I can do right now."

She obviously sensed I'd reached the end of my conversational capacity, "Good luck. I'm here any time of day or night. Not that you really need reminding."

My heart was racing and my hands were shaking as I entered my bedroom. Luckily, Simone wasn't home, but I needed total concentration. This I couldn't afford to get wrong. I wasn't even sure what I was supposed to do.

I sat on my desk chair and shut my eyes. It was a long time before I could get my breathing under control, and even longer still before I could quiet the screaming in my mind. There was no other way.

Do I need to sing that song of Tal's? Is it like some sort of homing signal?

I sang a few lines. Nothing happened.

I reigned my thoughts back in as I felt myself about to start freaking out again.

Gotta stay focused. I can't pretend to be Tal. Maybe it's like Peter Pan, one happy thought and then you can fly. What makes me feel close to Him?

Besides Seth.

When we rode to Aunt Theresa's funeral in Aunt Maria's beat-up old Toyota with the windows down and Bette Midler blasting because it used to be Aunt Theresa's favorite.

I let myself relive the memory, under my breath I sang "From a distance, there is harmony... "

"... And it echoes through the land... " I felt the world blur, my heart beat a little fast, my breathing slow and tingles head down my spine.

"God? Are you there? I need You."

The tears welled in my eyes. I could feel that He was there. I tried not to think about what that meant. I had a job to do.

"What am I supposed to do? It's Seth. I love him. He belongs to me and I to him. How do I make this right?"

I felt His presence but no answers.

"I love him, that's real isn't it?"

Then it came. A feeling flowing through the back of my mind. Thankfully, not words or I would have known I was crazy.

Warm summer days, flowers in spring.

"And he loves me? Forever?"

Giant mountains, rainbows and the North star at night.

"Is he really dying in the Palace?"

A hospital ward with a life support machine beeping in the back ground.

"If things stay as they are, what will happen?"

A fresh grave in a military graveyard.

I recoiled from the image. My mind wanted to shut down. I'd just seen Seth's grave. My face was soaked with tears. Everything inside me told me to run, but I held on.

"Where is he supposed to be?" I asked.

A glowing banquet hall flying the royal standard.

"The Throne Room," I whispered.

"Where am I supposed to be?"

A winding road leading towards the horizon.

I shut my eyes and with my last ounce of strength I mouthed, "Thank you. Now I know what I have to do."

I was lying in bed when Spike called. I dragged the phone to my ear.

"I wanted to check in and see how you're doing," she said.

"I asked Him," I said in a monotone.

"God? You were able to do it?"

"Yes." I couldn't quite believe it, but now was not the time to start philosophizing. I shelved the 'I spoke to God' freak-out for a later date.

"What was the answer?" her tone betrayed her nervousness.

"Seth has to be in the Palace and the current situation is killing him."

"Crap."

She waited for me to say something.

"I have to break up with him." I was so numb it sounded like I was reciting the bus timetable.

"When are you going to do it?" Spike asked softly.

"I guess tomorrow, in the afternoon sometime. He's working tonight and won't wake up before noon."

"What are you going to do until then?"

I shut my eyes, "Try not to die."

"I'm so sorry, Chloe." I think Spike might actually have been crying.

"Me too," I said in a tiny voice. "I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow."

I hung up and willed sleep to take me if death was unavailable.

When I woke, I had four missed calls from Seth. I was confused until I looked at my clock and realized it was nearly twelve-thirty. Apparently, my body had shut down to protect my mind from what I was about to do.

With shaking hands, I dialed his number, "Hey. Sorry about that, I was asleep."

"You slept all morning?" He sounded really worried. "Are you ok? What's going on Chlo? What's with the big avoidance?"

I took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you."

"I'll be right over."

"No," I said quickly. "Why don't we meet somewhere? How about up on the mountain?"

"On the mountain?"

"Yeah, on one of those benches by the fake lake." It just couldn't be in my house or his house. It had to be somewhere else. Somewhere I'd never have to go again.

"I guess so. When?" He sounded totally confused, but he still trusted me.

"Three." I needed some time to prepare myself.

"Okay. I'll see you there."
Chapter 21

This is what falling in love was supposed to feel like: that sinking, slightly nauseous, but excited feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's the moment the carriage begins its decent from the top of Thunder Mountain. My heart beat fast and my pupils dilated. The Universe pivoted on my big moment in time.

But I was about to look Seth in the eye and tell him I couldn't spend the rest of my life with him. I was going to tell Seth, who was my forever, that it wasn't enough, that destiny was not enough to bind us. I was about to cast my soul mate aside, knowing that in a thousand lifetimes I might never meet another who touched me as he did. Knowing that I belonged to him, I was about to send him out to a life of incompletion; all because I loved him.

He met me on the benches by the fake lake on the phony mountain.

"Hey," his lips brushed my cheek as he sat down.

Before he'd even leaned back, I stood, "Let's walk."

With a shrug he followed me.

Now that he was here, I wasn't sure that I could do it. It had to be in person or it wouldn't be real, but now that it was in person I couldn't go through with it.

He didn't take my hand. I felt his gaze trying to read my face. We walked blindly for a few minutes while I tried to at least remember how to breathe.

A single tear ran down my cheek.

"Chlo? Just tell me about it? There's nothing that can be this bad." He slowed, like he wanted to stop, but I kept walking.

"What did you do already? Did you sleep with Dwayne? With Josh? Because I've searched through everything I've done for the past few days and unless aliens took over my body, I just can't come up with anything this bad."

I turned my head to look at him. The tears were coming in earnest now.

"Was it Josh?"

I shook my head.

"Dwayne?"

Even with tears cascading out of them I managed to roll my eyes.

"Jen, for goodness sakes?"

I nearly laughed but I didn't dare, so I just shook my head again.

He reached out to touch me.

I stepped back before his hand could reach me.

Now he looked like he might cry.

I started walking again.

For five whole minutes, he gave me the gift of silence.

Damn him, he always knows what I need. Without any words, he knows what it will take to sooth me.

I didn't know which one of us led the way there, or if some celestial power just needed this to be as painful as possible, but our feet took us to the lookout. We leaned over the railing as Montreal ebbed and flowed below us.

My breath returned. Maybe someone was praying for me because I found strength I didn't know I possessed.

"I saw you in the Palace," I said calmly.

Seth looked at me his brow furrowed.

"When you interrupted me and Tal arguing the other day, I saw what you look like in the Palace." Involuntarily, I shuddered at the memory.

"So?" his voice was barely more than a whisper.

"They were right."

"That I'm there on some level? I never doubted that. I'm one of the People, I must be there in some form, but it doesn't mean anything." His eyes were scared.

"They were right that I'm killing you."

"Don't say that," he snapped back.

Something broke inside me. I had to make him see.

"It was like the worst horror film I've ever seen. Your flesh was dripping off your body, but it wasn't some fake latex mask, it was you. It's what I'm doing to you."

He grabbed my shoulders. "You are not killing me. Chloe Diaz, listen to me. Don't let them brainwash you. You are my savior."

I shook my head. I was past crying. "You don't even know how to live."

"You make me live."

"No. I am the thing the lies use to stop you from becoming the person you are supposed to be. If you stay with me then you will die in the Palace."

He shut his eyes, when he opened them again they were full of tears. "Then until my last breath I will be with you."

"And when that happens you will go to nothingness because I will have killed all that is eternal inside of you?"

"Better one lifetime together than an eternity apart."

I pulled away from him. I turned back to the view. He stayed facing me. I felt him willing me to turn back.

"No," I said. I nearly buckled under the weight of the finality: one little word with the weight of a slab of marble.

I turned my head but not my body. His face was wet with tears. I nearly choked on the words.

"Love means not ruining the other person's life. Love means they are better off with you. Love means building."

"You are not Rob."

"No. If I stay then I'm worse than Rob. I understand what it is that I'm doing. I know the price that you're paying."

He didn't try and touch me. The gulf between us was already too big to cross.

"Isn't it my price to pay? Isn't it my soul to lose?"

"And every day I look at you and see you dying? Until there's nothing left? Who am I if I let you stay with me until you're gone? And then what will I have? The memories of the man I love and an empty shell for company? I make you a corpse and me a monster?"

"So what do you suggest?"

I was thrown. What do I suggest? I'm breaking up with him. I didn't expect to spell it out.

My heart was racing again. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

"We can never see each other again. I'll try not to go the places you go. I'll leave your friends alone. You'll go on with your life and I'll try to go on with mine." The words were so insane. I couldn't believe it was my mouth saying them.

"What if I need to reach you?" He asked like he was asking a stranger the time.

"You won't."

"What if I do?" I tried not to hear the begging.

"You can go through Bernie."

Is that it? A formal agreement and the covenant of love is broken? I looked at him for one last time.

I couldn't even catch my breath before his lips were on mine. At first my body responded by rote. This is where my lips belong. My will cracked and I started to think that love conquers all. Then I saw his Palace face in my mind.

I found the strength to push him away.

"No," he roared. "I will not let you go. Don't lie to me. You love me with everything you are. I will not let you throw it all away for God." His face was only inches from mine. I have never seen him in such a rage. It hurt me as his hands clasped my arms to my sides.

I looked back at him and watched the rage ebb away as he read the truth in my eyes.

"You're right. I love you with everything I am. It's the only thing that gives me strength now. But you're wrong. I'm not doing this for Him; I'm not that holy. If it was just about Him I'd lie to both of us and say we'd find a way to make it work. I'm doing this for you... because I love you."

"I'm sorry if I'm not grateful," he sneered.

I nodded, "I don't expect you to be. I don't even expect you to be all like, 'Gee ,why don't I go and live in the Palace now.' I just can't be the one that kills you."

I stepped back.

The tears that ran down my face were mirrored in his.

"I love you," he whispered.

I looked him in the eye. "Forever," I said.

Then I turned and walked away.

I didn't look back.

I didn't need to. I felt him watch me until I turned the corner.

I walked down the mountain. I couldn't just get in a cab and go home. Spike was standing at my door when I got to it. Silently I let her in. I sank onto the sofa. Spike climbed on next to me and put both arms around me. I wept without asking her how she got there.
Chapter 22

On the third day afterward, there was a knock at the door. I looked up listlessly from the couch as Spike lead Tess and Jen into the living room.

"Hi," they smiled tentatively.

Jen scanned the room and compassion washed over her face.

Tess looked really uncomfortable, "Chloe, I'm really sorry to ask you this. We tried to call, but your phone was off or something. But... do you know where Seth is? He hasn't been home for three days." She looked like she wanted to run back down the stairs.

I shook my head. Spike hovered, ready to swoop in and protect me.

"I haven't spoken to him. He's not likely to call me," I managed to say.

Jen nodded with comprehension and Tess blushed.

"I'm very sorry," Tess said.

"Isn't everyone?" I replied and turned my head back to the TV.

"I'd better go tell Josh," Tess said to Jen. "Take care Chloe." She looked nervously around and then hurried out.

Jen stood for another minute looking around the room.

Then she approached Spike, "I'm Jen. You must be Spike." She held out her hand for Spike to shake.

Spike smiled half a smile.

"I would've come sooner if I'd known," Jen explained. "She must be going through hell."

Spike nodded and looked at me cautiously. She didn't really want to be talking about me in front of me.

"Is she up to the eating-copious-amounts-of-chocolate stage?" Jen asked.

"No, we're still on the catatonic, can't-believe-it-happened stage," Spike replied. "I'm just trying to keep her company. By now I could do with the chocolate."

Jen smiled, "I'll go get supplies. Need anything in particular?"

"Two packs of Marlboro Light, a few bottles of Diet Coke for her and as much chocolate as you can carry."

Before I knew it, Jen was back laden with bags. "I also got four liters of double chocolate ice cream and five tubes of Pringles just to add some variety."

"Good thinking." Spike passed me a chocolate bar, "Here get some of that into you. It will do you some good."

I silently ate the candy.

I listened to them chatter about school, and their opinions of daytime TV.

Time passes.

Maybe chocolate really is the elixir of life as Jen suggested because suddenly the cascading thoughts that had battered my brain for three days come into focus.

I picked up my phone, and dialed with one hand while I flicked the TV onto mute with the other.

Spike and Jen stopped talking and waited.

"Mrs. Hols? It's Chloe Diaz."

"It's been a long time, deary. I thought you'd forgotten about me," she joked.

I blushed slightly, "I just had to work some things out."

"It's alright. You don't want to rush into anything."

"I made a decision. I want to make the Quest. The right way, straight through the front door." I hesitated for a second. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Jen and Spike frozen in shock.

"Will you make the call for me? Tell the Guides about me so they agree to see me?" I asked.

"Of course, I will. Let me take down your number and I'll call you back when I get through to them." Mrs. Hols didn't seem the least bit surprised. If anything she sounded like she'd been waiting for my call.

"Thank you."

I hung up and turned to face my surprised support team.

More clearly than I'd spoke for days, I said, "My life is over. Seth told me once that when you love someone you weave yourself into them so that when it's over pieces of you get left behind. Look at me, I'm ripped to shreds."

They eyed me suspiciously.

"You can tell me that time heals all wounds. But it doesn't; some things hurt forever. Even if it heals, time can't put anything back together. All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Chloe together again," I laughed without any mirth.

"If all I have left are the crumbs of my life, I might as well use them for something good. What are the reasons for not being in the Palace? That it's a sacrifice, it's hard and your life doesn't belong to you fully. Well, I've made the sacrifice. Hard doesn't even cover it and my life is gone, so who cares to whom the rest of it belongs to. At least if I do this, I have the chance that what's left will really mean something."

Spike nodded, "If it's what you want then you should go for it."

"How long does it take?" Jen asked.

"No one can tell you, it's about how you perform in the Palace so it's different for each person. The first step is being accepted by the Council of Guides. Mrs. Hols is making me an appointment."

Just then my phone rang again, "That was quick." I said into it with a smile. I heard what she said, wrote something down and said, "I'll meet you there, thank you."

Spike and Jen were waiting for the update.

"Tomorrow, they had one slot. She might have pulled some strings. She'll go with me."

I took a deep breath and felt something that resembled life force flowing through my body. Some part of me at least would live.

"Do you want me to come too?" Jen asked.

"No, I need to do this by myself. And I want you to go home now, Spike."

She didn't look either surprised or upset. "Are you sure?" was all she asked.

"Yes, I couldn't have survived the last few days without you, but you've got classes your missing and it looks like Jen's going to keep me stocked in chocolate for months to come. Your life doesn't have to go down the toilet too."

"What are friends for?" She smiled.

"That's why I'm telling you to leave," I said. "Now, can we break out the ice cream?"

I hadn't expected things to move so quickly. I'd made the decision, but I'd also kind of assumed it would take a while to get an appointment. Not that there was really much to wait for. I couldn't go back: my life wasn't going to be put back together. If the only way was forward, I might as well get on with it.

The next morning, fortified by more chocolate than I thought it possible to consume in a twenty – four hour period, I met Mrs. Hols. She was waiting for me outside a modern looking complex. A girl of about my age pushed her wheelchair.

Mrs. Hold waved her hand behind her, "Chloe, this Laya, one of my granddaughters."

I smiled hello.

"Nervous?" Mrs. Hols asked me, "You can change your mind. I'll take Laya for coffee and go back home. It's nice to get out once in a while."

"I'm nervous, but I'm not changing my mind," I said firmly.

We followed a path around the side and into a small reception area.

Mrs. Hols announced me to the receptionist and we sat down to wait.

"What are they going to ask me?" I asked in a low voice.

"They'll want to know who you are, how you know about the People, why you want to be one of us, if you have any idea what it means to Serve."

I wrinkled my brow, "What's the last one about?"

"Most of those who take the Quest are not successful. They try to weed out the ones who have no idea what they're in for."

"I can hack it," I said firmly.

"Make sure you convince them of that."

The door opened and the receptionist called me in.

Mrs. Hols waved her granddaughter back to her seat, "You wait here Laya, dear. Chloe can push the chair."

And in we went.

If it wasn't for the difference in age, I'd say that they all looked the same. Three bearded men, each wearing a dark suit, white shirt and bland tie. The first two were white-haired with long beards. The one to the far left surprised me; I'd expected them all to be old. This one barely had a grey hair in his short brown beard.

The one in the middle spoke first, "You are Chloe Diaz?" He asked reading from a sheet.

I nodded.

"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself and why you want to make the Quest?"

"I'm from El Paso, Texas. I came to Montreal to go to college. This summer I made friends with Tal Perr, she's one of the People. She told me she was religious and I didn't think much of it until one day I went to her house unexpectedly. It was the Day of Connection and I saw the Angels there."

"You saw the Angels?" the white beard guide asked.

"Yes, the Perrs were quite surprised too. They said Others usually can't do that."

The Guide nodded for me to go on.

"After that they started telling me more about the Palace and the Service. I found that if I was standing next to them, then I could see into the Palace when they were there."

The brown-beard Guide spoke next, "You were aware of the truth of their mission because you saw glimpses of the Palace, but what makes you want to enter? Why would you risk your life unnecessarily?"

I took a deep breath, "I had a boyfriend. He was one of the People."

Mrs. Hols looked at me sharply.

"I didn't know that it was a problem. But then I saw what he looked like in the Palace." My voice cracked.

They waited for me to compose myself.

"Tal said I was killing him. I asked Mrs. Hols about it and she said Others can't be with People."

"And now you think if you make the Quest you'll be able to be with him?" the middle Guide asked harshly.

I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand, "No. I know it's not possible. I just... I just couldn't kill him. I broke up with him."

"It seems you loved him very much," said brown beard kindly.

I nodded.

"But why does that make you want to enter the Palace?"

"Before I found out what I was doing to him, I had already decided I wanted to make the Quest. Once I knew that the Palace was real and the Battle is real, how could I just stand back and go on with my regular life? I couldn't just turn a blind eye and say I don't care whether the world keeps turning. But now-" My voice broke and I struggled to keep talking, "I gave up so much. My life will already never be the same, there is nothing holding me back. I want to be part of the struggle. This is all I have left I give, I want to give it to He Who Knows."

The Guides looked from one to the other.

"Please wait outside for a minute while we speak to Mrs. Hols," the white beard instructed.

I was too nervous to sit. I just loitered in the lobby. Laya was reading a magazine. The receptionist didn't look up from her dictation.

It was a very long five minutes. Eventually they called me back in.

Again the middle Guide addressed me, "Miss. Diaz we have heard testimony from Mrs. Hols. In light of what we have seen today, you are accepted to make the Quest. We must warn you, it is not easy. Many fail, many give up, only a few are chosen to enter the Palace and eternal Service. The Quest is arduous and your reward is a lifetime of challenge. You are certain you wish to proceed?"

"I'm certain."

He nodded curtly, "Very well. As you may know, there are two parts to the Quest. Firstly, you must learn battle strategy with an appointed teacher. Leave your contact information at the desk and you will be assigned a teacher. The second part of the Quest is individual. You must find the Chalice in the Palace and present it to this Council."

"How do I do that? How do I know when I found it?" I asked as respectfully as possible.

He permitted himself a small smile, "That is the Quest."

"Oh."

Find something that I have no idea where it will be or what it looks like, in the Palace that I can't see.

"When you have succeeded in both parts, you will return to this Council and we will assign a date for you to pass through the moat into the Palace."

"Thank you."

With another nod we were dismissed. I stood and pushed Mrs. Hols back into the neat foyer.

"What's the moat?" I asked as the doors closed behind us.

"You have to actually immerse in water to make the transformation complete. An action in the physical world is needed to cement the change in the spiritual world."

I nodded as I digested the information.

And so my Quest began.

*

Somewhere in the Palace, the Council of Guides remained deep in consultation. In their heavy cloaks they were nearly indistinguishable one from the other. Together they spoke with the Voice of the Way.

"Was it wise to allow her, an Other, to become so involved?"

"The sinkhole is closed."

"By her hand."

"But at what cost?"

"This situation is most unfortunate."

"Mrs. Hols gives her most profound apology. It seems she only now came to a full understanding of the situation. Had she seen what was happening sooner, she would have moved to correct events."

"This Seth Wilks is lost to the Palace?"

"It is not for us to know the future."

"Only to guess at the patterns of the present."

One of the Guides sighed, "This is what happens when children are sent to perform the Service of adults."

"The group in question has been quite successful at introducing young Serfs to the Palace. Apparently, they speak the right 'lingo.' "

"Indeed. But they would benefit from increased consultation. This outcome could have been avoided."

"He may yet return to Service and his place in the Palace."

"She will likely be successful in her Quest. Her determination is great."

"Her making the Quest does not compensate for the loss of his Service."

"This should have been avoided. It should have been handled differently."

"They meant well. All their lives they had been told that it is not possible for an Other to enter the Palace in order to marry into the People."

"Mrs. Hols didn't tell her the truth? That it is only possible to enter the Palace with true sincerity? If the desire to Serve is as great as the desire to marry, then the Quest can be attempted?"

"She didn't know what she was dealing with. When this Chloe came to her with questions Mrs. Hols was not aware that the relationship was so far progressed."

"She didn't see that the bond of love was true?"

"Mrs. Hols did not see them together."

"So this Other chose to break the bonds of true love?"

"She would not be the instrument of his spiritual death."

"A great sacrifice."

"The ways of He Who Breaths Life are at times obscure, but it is hard to see how no one told this Chloe that the Quest could be made together."

"Had they made the Quest together their love could have carried them both to Service."

"And now?"

"We will not tell her. There is no reason to cause undue suffering. Her Quest may yet be successful."

"And he may yet return."

"He Who Turns the World will decide."
Need more Seth and Chloe?

To Call Your Name: Book 2 the Palace Saga is now available at all usual retailers.

Still not enough?

Visit Seth and Chloe on facebook; see what they were posting while it all happened, find out what they're up to now and why Seth 'likes' Ree Drumond.

Seth – <https://www.facebook.com/LifeinthePalace.SethWilks>

Chloe – <https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chloe-Diaz/127626384046205>

.....Yes, do you did read the right. Seth and Chloe are on facebook. Yes, really. They update their own status', post their favorite jokes and respond to your comments.

For a marginally less interactive experience visit www.lifeinthepalacesaga.com packed full with deleted scenes, Seth's latest song, FAQ's and 'guest' blog posts (that's Seth and Chloe again.)

If you really insist, you can find the writer Catherine Green on facebook, twitter and at Goodreads.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Catherine-Green/406023046122394

Twitter: @CatGreenWriter
About the author

Catherine Green writes fantasy books featuring religious characters in a brazen attempt to make the people in faith communities seem less weird. She lives with her husband, children and three marginally neglected goldfish. When she's not writing, or pretending to be one of her characters on Facebook, she has been known to cook dinner.
Life in the Palace

By Catherine Green

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 Catherine Green

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the author. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, please return to your bookseller of choice and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover design Damon from damonza.com Edited by Courtney Rupertus

www.lifeinthepalacesaga.com
Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Need more Seth and Chloe?

About the author
