 
150

Perception

Or

The Oatmeal Cookie

& Michelle's mind

A book of screenplays by

Michelle Hoogwoud

This book is dedicated to Mr. Monkey.

His silent words of wisdom are always inspiring.

The Real Heroes

Episode 1: Beginners Luck

Written by Michelle Hoogwoud

January 17th 2008
FADE IN:

INT. Warehouse – Night

The camera moves from boxes to view the ROBBER. A VICTIM screams.

VICTIM

Somebody help me!

The robber ties up the victim and does victimizing things.

ROBBER

Nobody can help you now!

(Evil maniacal laughter)

VICTIM

Noooo-------

Out from the distance appear 'The Heroes.' The robber cannot see them from behind. A volleyball hits the robber.

ROBBER

Who did that?

CARTRIDGE

We did.

ROBBER

Who are you?

CARTRIDGE

We are the Real Heroes!

ALL HEROES SPEAK

And we fight for justice!

CRAZYMIKALA

Justice!

VOLLEYBOY shoves CRAZYMIKALA. She pushes back. They start shoving and pushing each other a lot. The room is silent and only rustling and thuds are heard. The robber looks confused, and then continues to do victimizing things.

VOLLEYBOY

Hey! Don't ignore us!

GIZMO

Water for you, Volleyboy?

All that shoving must've given you

quite a workout.

CRAZYMIKALA

(laughs) Already?

VOLLEYBOY

Hey! Shut up!

Volleyboy grabs the bottle of water from Gizmo. Cartridge pulls out a gadget.

CARTRIDGE

(yells) Victimizer! Beware!

Cartridge takes some time trying to work the device. He can't open or work it properly.

ROBBER

Whatever.

The robber then takes off and leaves the warehouse. Crazymikala and Volleyboy are still arguing. Gizmo is playing with a rubix cube. Cartridge finally gets the device working.

CARTRIDGE

Ah ha! Wait... crap.

CRAZYMIKALA

Good going Cartridge.

VOLLEYBOY

It's not his fault Crazymikala.

You should've been paying attention.

CRAZYMIKALA

YOU were relaxing drinking your

water!

Gizmo looks startled and stops playing with the rubix cube.

GIZMO

Huh? Water for you Cartridge?

Gizmo pulls out another bottle of water.

CARTRIDGE

No thanks.

The heroes then save the victim. Cartridge unties her/him.

VICTIM

Oh thank you so much for saving me!

CRAZYMIKALA

No problem!

VOLLEYBOY

You didn't do anything!

CRAZYMIKALA

No problem!

VICTIM

But, all my stuff is stolen.

CRAZYMIKALA

No problem!

GIZMO

Water?

CRAZYMIKALA

Thanks!

VOLLEYBOY

Let's celebrate!

GIZMO, VOLLEYBOY, CRAZYMIKALA

YEAH! (high five or jump)

CARTRIDGE

The robber got away. This is no time

to celebrate.

GIZMO

Of course it is! The victim has

been saved!

The three cheer again.

CRAZYMIKALA

Don't worry victim number one,

we'll find your stuff.

VICTIM

Why am I victim number 1?

VOLLEYBOY

Because you're the first person

we've ever saved!

CRAZYMIKALA

This is awesome!

All four heroes cheer and the victim looks unimpressed.

CUT TO:

Scenes of having fun. All scenes are about 30 seconds in

film time. Each location at 30 seconds max.

1. Bowling alley

2. Park/playground

3. Drinking/dancing

4. Gizmo throws confetti from above

5. Playing video games

CUT TO:

EXT. Sidewalk

The heroes walk while laughing and all smiles. They come across an abandoned bag. They pick it up. Cartridge takes out a cell phone and dials a "home" number.

CARTRIDGE

Hi, is this victim number 1?

VICTIM (V.O.)

Huh? OH! ...uh... yeah. It's you guys.

The name's Alexis.

GIZMO

We found your stuff.

CARTRIDGE

Yes, we found your stuff.

CRAZYMIKALA

Stuff.

Volleyboy then shoves Crazymikala. They push and shove each other.

GIZMO

It's in a bag.

VICTIM (V.O.)

Is everything in it? Mainly, are my

office keys in there?

CARTRIDGE

Hmm.. (scrummages through bag)

No.

VICTIM (V.O.)

(screams) OH MY GOD! NOO!!!

VOLLEYBOY

Listen lady/man! We have your bag.

Aren't you happy? Ingrate.

Cartridge hangs up the phone.

CRAZYMIKALA

We were awesome!

The heroes give high fives to each other. The scene freezes at that moment. Scroll end credits.

FADE OUT.

The Real Heroes

Episode 2: Finding Evil Doers

Written by Michelle Hoogwoud

June 17th 2008
FADE IN:

INT. Head Quarters

The heroes play TWISTER. Cartridge spins and falls down. He stands on the side of the mat and watches the other three play the game. Cartridge looks sad and sighs.

CARTRIDGE

We need to actually get to work you

guys.

VOLLEYBOY

Whatever.

They continue to have fun on Twister. Cartridge stands with his arms crossed. In the distance the plastic phone RINGS and the camera zooms in on the phone. Everybody stops to stare at the phone.

GIZMO

WHAT?! But the phone NEVER rings!

CRAZYMIKALA

What do we do?

The phone rings again. Close-ups on individual roles begin as they are still on the Twister mat.

VOLLEYBOY

Do we have voicemail?

GIZMO

No.

The phone rings again.

CRAZYMIKALA

(screams)

Oh my God! Make it stop! Stop the

insanity!

GIZMO

(screams)

Doom is near!

Volleyboy screams in terror. End individual close-ups. The phone rings. The three heroes scream while still on the Twister mat. They keep screaming while Cartridge says the next line:

CARTRIDGE

(shouts at heroes)

What the hell you guys!

Cartridge answers the phone and the other heroes stop screaming.

CARTRIDGE

(to phone)

The Real Heroes. Cartridge speaking.

How do you need saving?

(pause)

Oh, ok. No problem.

Cartridge hangs up the phone.

GIZMO

Who was it?

CARTRIDGE

Wrong number.

[INSERT INTRO THEME]

White text on black when narrator speaks.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

In today's episode, The Real Heroes

use the phonebook to find criminals.

INT. Head Quarters

Clip scenes

1. phonebook slammed on table

2. phonebook being opened

3. Cartridge's finger pointing at a name.

4. Crazymikala looks over Cartridge's shoulder

5. Zoom in on the name "Heeza Killhue."

CRAZYMIKALA

Heeza Killhue?

VOLLEYBOY

Heeza definitely killhue!

GIZMO

Heeza gotta be a criminal.

CARTRIDGE

He has an evil name.

The other three heroes look unimpressed at Cartridge.

CARTRIDGE

What?

Cartridge dials the number into the plastic phone. The entire time Cartridge is on the phone, Gizmo brings out a case of water while walking towards VolleyBoy and CrazyMikala. This happens in the background.

CARTRIDGE

(to phone)

Hello, is this Heeza Killhue?

HEEZA (V.O.)

Yep.

CARTRIDGE

(to phone)

Criminal! We shall stop you and your

evil plans!

In the background, Gizmo, VolleyBoy, and CrazyMikala cheers/toast their bottles of water (or have it in champagne glasses).

HEEZA (V.O.)

I have no idea what you are talking

about.

CARTRIDGE

(to phone and yells)

Don't play dumb with me boy!

HEEZA (V.O.)

Prank call someone else.

A click is heard through the phone and Cartridge is speechless.

CRAZYMIKALA  
I want ice cream.

EXT. Ice Cream Shop – DAY

The Heroes are riding in the car/on bikes/some weird transportation. Video clips of them buying ice cream. Photo montage of them eating ice cream and having fun times 

INT. Head Quarters

The heroes sit around and playing stella stella old or duck duck goose OR just skip to this next line:

GIZMO

(looking at phonebook)

Hey, Heeza's address is listed.

White text on black when narrator speaks.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

And now the Real Heroes go to the

criminals house to stop him from

future criminalizing things.

EXT. Heeza's house

The heroes stand outside the front door. Cartridge goes to ring the doorbell. Heeza opens the door.

CARTRIDGE

Hi, are you Heeza Killhue?

HEEZA

(looks confused)

Yeah, why?

Volleyboy then screams a battle cry and runs towards the front door. He runs past Heeza and goes into the house.

HEEZA

What the hell?

CARTRIDGE

Volleyboy!!

Everyone then runs into the house.

INT. Heeza's house

Clips:

1. Volleyboy runs into a closet. Door SLAMS. Inside he screams in horror as a strobe light flashes at him.

2. CrazyMikala has nun chucks and then hits herself in the head. She falls over.

3. Gizmo is in the kitchen and raids the fridge.

4. Cartridge does karate chops and kicks and misses Heeza.

5. Volleyboy screams.

6. Cartridge is beaten up by Heeza.

7. CrazyMikala is on the ground crying. The nun chucks lay next to her.

8. Heeza takes the sandwich from Gizmo, and gizmo whimpers.

9. Cartridge reaches to grab a phone.

CARTRIDGE

9-1-1.. must call for h-help.

HEEZA

This is MY house! YOU invaded MY

house!

EXT. Heeza's house

Heeza stands next to his front door.

HEEZA

(to police)

Get these weirdo's outta here!

Clips:

1. police lights flashing

2. hands being cuffed

3. a police car driving away.

INT. POLICE CELL

The heroes are in the police cell.

GIZMO

We suck.

CRAZYMIKALA

I don't.

VOLLEYBOY

(pushes crazymikala)

Why do you have to say that?!

Volleyboy and CrazyMikala push and shove and Cartridge sighs and puts his hands on his face. Gizmo plays with the rubix cube.

FADE OUT.

The Real Heroes

Episode 3:

Finding Heroes

By Michelle Hoogwoud

February 4th 2010

INT. BATHROOM

CARTRIDGE looks into the mirror combing his hair. The camera MOVES to the side to reveal CRAZYMIKALA in the mirror.

CRAZYMIKALA

Nice haircut.

[Insert Intro]

INT. HEADQUARTERS

Crazymikala reads a comic book. Cartridge enters the room.

CARTRIDGE

Where's Gizmo?

CRAZYMIKALA

School.

CARTRIDGE

Volleyboy?

CRAZYMIKALA

Kidnapped

CARTRIDGE

Hmm... let's recruit!

BLACK SCREEN with text:

NARRATOR

Today the Real Heroes put up audition

flyers looking for new heroes to help

with heroing things.

EXT. STREET – DAY

Crazymikala & Cartridge put up posters on posts. They high five each other.

EXT. SuperStore area parking lot – REALLY LATE @ NIGHT

Cartridge puts up the last flyer.

CARTRIDGE

There, that's all of them.

CRAZYMIKALA

Great job Cartridge!

HOODED MAN in a mask, similar to the power rangers, jumps out and CACKLES. He RIPS the poster off the wall and runs.

CARTRIDGE

HEY!!

CRAZYMIKALA

Get him!!

They pursue after the man. Cartridge runs faster than Crazymikala and she falls behind.

The man stops, turns around, and sees Cartridge.

HOODED MAN

Hey.

Hooded Man charges towards Cartridge.

Cartridge screams like an 8 year old girl.

Cartridge turns around, and then passes Crazymikala.

CARTRIDGE

Run back! ... Get to the headquarters!

Crazymikala yells out a shocked scream, and follows Cartridge.

Distance shot of them running and turning into an alley.

INT. HEADQUARTERS

The two wait near the phone.

CARTRIDGE

Someone will call.

BLACK SCREEN TEXT:

NARRATOR

Crazymikala pulls out important papers.

OFFICE

Crazymikala pulls out papers and straightens them on desk.

BLACK SCREEN TEXT:

NARRATOR

She makes hot chocolate.

KITCHEN

Crazymikala pours hot water into cup.

BLACK SCREEN TEXT:

NARRATOR

She drinks the hot chocolate.

KITCHEN

Crazymikala drinks some hot chocolate.

CRAZYMIKALA

Cartridge... want some?

HEADQUARTERS

The phone is in CENTER on screen and Cartridge is behind phone.

CARTRIDGE

(yells)

How come no one is calling?!

There is a KNOCK at the door.

Cartridge looks up. He gets up and answers the door.

FLOATING BOY is revealed.

FLOATING BOY

Hi. There was no number, so I just

came.

BLACK SCREEN TEXT: "Audition Day"

EXT. Cloverdale stage - DAY

Floating Boy stands on the stage and looks left and then right.

CARTRIDGE

You're hired!

FLOATING BOY

(Raises arms)

YEAH!

CARTRIDGE

(to Crazymikala)

Now all you need is a cape!

Crazymikala is now behind a sewing machine.

CRAZYMIKALA

I'm working on it!

[END CREDITS]

INT. Dark Room of EVIL VILLIAN.

We see the back of a chair and a hand with a glove on the side with 2 Chinese balls clinging in hand.

EVIL VILLIAN

(in Japanese)

The end is near Real Heroes.

(evil laughter)

FADE OUT.

Evil Elves

By Michelle Hoogwoud

June 2, 2010

*I would love to film this one, one day. I have loads of low-budget ideas for this.*
FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE HALLWAY – Night

Footsteps are seen walking down the hallway. Violin music (or something creepy) starts and heart beat thumps are heard.

Camera changes view to see face of MICHELLE, a 20-something year old woman.

She has a shocked look on her face.

Distant view.

More distant.

Even more distant to reveal the 6-foot stuffed MONKEY on the ground.

Close up on the Monkey's face.

Distant shot to see Monkey's full body covered in blood.

MICHELLE

(screaming)

NO-----!

BLACK SCREEN

White text on screen shows: "1 Hour Before"

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

From an upward view from the table, Michelle picks up a piece of paper. She reads it, and then throws it on the ground.

Zoom in on paper: "We have Bongo. You have 60 minutes. -- The Elves"

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Michelle is in the car, and she is driving. She is wearing a detective's hat.

Camera view from the drivers side looking into the car.

MICHELLE (V.O)

Don't die on me Bongo. You've been

there for me buddy.

An EVIL ELF jumps onto her car. It hisses.

The car swerves and Michelle keeps turning the wheel to throw the elf off.

MICHELLE (V.O)

Elves.

She turns the wheel sharply and the elf rolls off the hood of the car.

Michelle keeps driving and goes into an...

UNDERGROUND PARKADE.

Michelle opens the door and takes a step on the ground. She now has a Japanese bandana on.

A few shots from a gun is shot at her car. She looks up.

EVIL ELF #2 has a hand gun. 7 more EVIL ELVES come out from hiding also with various weapon.

Michelle looks around and pulls out her Machine Chainsaw gun.

MICHELLE

Do you seriously wanna fuck with me?

An arrow is shot into her shoulder.

MICHELLE

You're serious!

She turns the chainsaw of her gun on and deflects a few oncoming bullets.

Michelle then turns the gun and shoots at the elves. A few fall to the ground and die.

3 elves run back into the exit door.

Michelle runs after them. She looks at the security device on the door and then blasts the door open.

She enters into the

STAIRCASE LOBBY

Evil Elf #2 looks up and sees Michelle. Michelle starts the chainsaw up again.

EVIL ELF #2

(evil laughter)

Meh heh heh heh! You're too late!

Michelle saws the elf. Blood splatter.

INT. HOUSE HALLWAY

Michelle's footsteps are seen walking down the hallway. Heart beat thumps are heard.

Camera changes view to see face of Michelle has a shocked look.

Distant shot to see Monkey's full body covered in blood.

MICHELLE

(screaming)

NO-----!

A bunch of evil elves come out. They have flame throwers and guns. All begin to shoot at Michelle.

She shoots at a few elves.

Her ammo runs out.

She then reaches into her jacket and whips out throwing knives and kills 1 elf in the forehead and another in the neck.

She pulls out a grenade, drops it, and jumps out the window.

EXT. BUILDING ALLEY – Night

Michelle lands on the pavement and puts her massive gun down.

A tear runs down her cheek.

FADE OUT.

CUT TO:

EXT. RURAL AREA – DAY

The sun is bright and Michelle is on a motorcycle driving into a place with a giant sign: 'Elf City.'

END.

PIMP MY ZOMBIE

Created by Michelle Hoogwoud

May/April 2011

FADE IN:

EXT. OUTSIDE IN A PARK SOMEWHERE

HAL, a young man, is running away from a bunch of Zombies.

[Optional] HAL (V.O.)

I know. I'm gonna die. If I could

re-do this I would never Pimp My Zombie.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE/GARAGE

MICHAEL, host of the show, steps out of an awesome car.

MICHAEL

Sup, welcome to Pimp My Zombie.

We're gonna check out Hal's Zombie.

INT. BOARDROOM/OFFICE

The 'Pimp My Zombie' crew: Michael, CHELSEA, KEVIN, and JAMIE. The crew sit around a table looking towards a screen. They use a remote and one of them press the on button. Hal then appears on screen.

ZOOM SCREEN

INT. HAL'S HOUSE

Hal stands next to his zombie, HAL'S ZOMBIE.

Hal's Zombie looks a mess: messy hair, raggedy, no shoes, etc all around like a dirty hobo.

HAL

Hi, this is my zombie.

We hang out and chill.

Sequence shots of:

1. Hal and Zombie walking down the street, and a bunch of people pointing and laughing at Hal's zombie.

2. Hal throws a Frisbee to the Zombie, and it hit's it's head and Zombie falls over.

3. Zombie steps in dog poo and walks in the house and stands on Hal's bed.

INT. BOARDROOM/OFFICE

One of the crew press the remote, and the screen goes black. [Every time one of the crew talks, there is a close-up on them and their names are displayed on screen]

KEVIN

Man, his Zombie sucks!

CHELSEA

That Zombie needs some pimpin'

JAMIE

That Zombie needs some braaaains!

MICHAEL

It's time to Pimp Hal's Zombie.

[Insert "Pimp My Zombie" Intro: Parody Style]

INT. GARAGE

Michael stands in the garage and Hal enters.

They shake hands.

MICHAEL

How in the world did you get such a

sad zombie?

HAL

I love the guy Michael, but my zombie

has made me the laughing stock in my

hood. I can't even go outside anymore!

MICHAEL

That bad, hey?

HAL

Help me Michael, let me be able to

leave my house in style.

Jamie slides on in.

JAMIE

That, we can do.

INT. GARAGE

The crew stand around Hal's Zombie. It's spaced out and begins to drool.

MICHAEL

So, what do we have planned for this

brain dead fellow?

Chelsea walks up to the zombie, and looks at this hair.

CHELSEA

I am going to give him a new hair style,

Mike. Can't have this zombie strollin'

around with garbage in his hair.

I'm thinkin' a clean up and maybe a

Hat to save what brains he has left.

Chelsea steps back and Kevin steps forward.

KEVIN

I'm gonna give this zombie a new

wardrobe! No one would dare take

this bloody fool down main street!

We're talkin' bling bling and some shades!

Kevin backs up and Jamie steps forward. Jamie walks around the zombie and puts on a plastic glove and wipes some drool off the zombies mouth.

JAMIE

I'm gonna stimulate his brain!

(mad scientist laugh) layer screens

This way this zombie can be of some use!

MICHAEL

Alright, let's pimp this zombie!

Sequence shots:

1. Kevin is looking through a wardrobe line on a rack, he picks out an outfit.

2. Chelsea pulls out a few household cleaning supplies... and shampoo.

3. Jamie puts on a lab coat and safety goggles.

4. Kevin hands clothes to zombie, and it goes into a change room.

5. Zombie is sitting in a salon chair and Chelsea is blow drying the zombie's hair.

6. Jamie has 2 metal rods stuck into the zombie's head and flips on a switch in the background. Maniacal laughter ensues.

INT. GARAGE

The crew is facing the camera and the zombie is facing the crew. Kevin puts sunglasses onto the eyes of the zombie and backs up.

MICHAEL

I think we're ready to bring Hal in.

Hal enters the scene.

Hal's Zombie turns around to reveal the gangsta masterpiece loaded with bling. It smiles, gold tooth is revealed.

HAL

Holy [beep]! This is awesome!

Holy! Holy! Mother!

Hal drops to the floor.

ZOMBIE

Sup homeboy.

HAL

He talks!

Hal stands up.

Zombie walks over to the car.

MICHAEL

And he can drive.

HAL

This is amazing!

Hal drops to the floor again.

ZOMBIE

Get up fool, we be strollin the hood

for some zombie babes.

HAL

You made him cool!

Hal gets up.

Zombie starts the engine.

MICHAEL

Glad you love your zombie, but that

is my car.

Zombie slowly turns his head towards Michael.

ZOMBIE

Get in the car, Hal.

Hal gets into the passengers seat.

In the distance he is heard saying 'awesome! I get a car!'

The Zombie gets up from the seat and bites Michael's arm.

Michael screams.

JAMIE

Oh my god, I think I gave it too much

brain power!

Zombie bites Jamie's head.

Zombie bites Kevin, and kicks him.

Zombie licks Chelsea and throws her in the back seat.

Zombie loads Jamie, Kevin, & Michael into the trunk.

Hal is still stoked and hasn't noticed anything that happened.

The car drives off.

HAL

You are awesome zombie!

Zombie turns on the radio and it's head nods to the beat.

ZOMBIE

I know.

EXT. CAR – ROAD SCENE

The car drives down the road. Music pumping.

INT. CAR – DAY

Chelsea wakes up.

CHELSEA

Oh my god, this isn't right.

HAL

Sup.

Jamie, Kevin, and Michael wake up as zombies.

Chelsea screams a petrifying scream.

ZOMBIE

I am no longer your zombie, Hal.

I release you.

HAL

You release me? WHAT?!

The crew zombies reach to grab Chelsea.

The car comes to a screeching halt.

Hal's Zombie pulls down his shades and glares at them.

He directs his eyes to Hal.

The trunk door is automatically opened and the zombies get out and go to the passenger's seat.

Hal screams.

HAL

Why Zombie, why?

Zombie gets out of the car, pulls Chelsea out, and puts his arm around her.

ZOMBIE

You're not pimp enough.

Zombie unlocks the passengers door.

Hal screams, crawls across to the drivers side.

Jumps out.

EXT. OUTSIDE IN A PARK SOMEWHERE

Hal is running away from a bunch of Zombies.

HAL

(crying)

I wish I was pimp.

The zombie crew catch up to Hal, and right before they bite into him, in the distance are a bunch of stylish zombies.

They put a boom box onto the ground with the 'Pimp My Ride' music.

HOST ZOMBIE steps forward with microphone in hand.

HOST ZOMBIE

(point to camera & raspy voice)

Raaaahhh Raaah Rah reeeh blllaaarrg??

[Subtitles: Are you ready for Pimp My Human?]

FADE OUT.

Credit Roll.
Intermission

So you read some of my short screenplays. I have a habit of writing comedy. I wrote only one serious script, which took me 2 months to write because I had to resist adding in comedy, and I had to re-write, re-write, and re-write.

After me and my friends had filmed it, it was so moving that people in my German Culture through Film class cried. My mom cried too. I think I have a problem with people crying at films I make, so I suppose that's why I tend to put in comic relief.

After this, is Schuld which means Guilt.

After you read it, as it normally should be. Think of a 6-foot monkey at the last scene. Me and the videographer agreed it would be hilarious to add in, but being a serious film as it was, it would be offensive. So your imagination will have to do the rest.

Me and my friends filmed it in one day from 10:30AM until 7PM in late November.

Enjoy!

Film can be seen on youtube at:

http://youtu.be/2l-RinWUiCU?hd=1

It can be found under: "Schuld / Guilt."

SCHULD

A film by Michelle Hoogwoud

October 11, 2009

FADE IN:

The entire film is set in black & white.

EXT. ROAD – Afternoon

Close up of feet being dragged.

[Insert: "A film by Michelle Hoogwoud"]

Close up of feet walking & a 2nd set of feet walking.

[Insert TITLE]

View of body being dragged, with only half body view of the 2 walking.

[Insert a few opening credits]

Zoom out to see more of the scene.

[Insert more opening credits]

Zoom out to see more of the previous scene.

[Insert more opening credits]

Close up on the face of HOLDEN, a 27 year old German man.

INT. JAIL/OFFICE – NIGHT

Table and chairs are under a bright light in a plain room. Holden, very dirty and a bit bloody, is looking down. U.S. SOLDIER enters the scene. Door SLAM is heard.

U.S. SOLDIER

What happened that night?

Silence.

INT. JAIL CELL

Grey brick wall. (Lighting to make a shadow of bars.) Holden is shoved in and hits the wall.

U.S. SOLDIER (O.S.)

You might wanna clean yourself up.

A rag is thrown into the cell.

Close up on Holden's face. He wipes the blood off his face with his hand. He looks at the bloody hand.

FLASHBACK:

INT. KITCHEN

Camera shows blood on a small hand. View from the back of a MAN. BOY, age 10 with blonde hair, kneels on ground looking at a broken picture frame of a woman. His hand is bloody. The man lets a belt unravel. The boy trembles. Camera turns to wall with shadow. Shadow reveals whips from man to the boy. Cries are heard.

END FLASHBACK.

INT. JAIL CELL

Holden sits on the ground against the grey wall. He gets up and goes to the bars.

HOLDEN

Excuse me. May I have some paper

and a pencil?

U.S. SOLDIER

What for?

HOLDEN

Entertainment.

A booklet and a pencil are thrown into the jail cell.

FLASHBACK:

EXT. FIELD – DAY

Holden and MERRILL walk through a field.

HOLDEN (V.O.)

Late 1932, many changes were happening.

HOLDEN

I hear a lot of Jewish people are

leaving Germany, Merrill. You too?

MERRILL

No, my parents aren't worried.

HOLDEN

Yeah, Hitler promises many things.

MERRILL

Holden, are you going to join the

Youth?

HOLDEN

I haven't then, why would I now.

Camera zooms out of them walking and talking in the field.

HOLDEN (V.O.)

The choice to join the Hitler Youth

wasn't mine to make.

INT. LIVINGROOM

Holden's FATHER listening to the radio.

Holden walks into the scene.

FATHER

(calm and not facing Holden)

You will serve the fatherland, just

like your grandfather and I.

HOLDEN

Why?

FATHER

You've been playing around long enough.

The Führer needs you, and you will

follow him.

HOLDEN

Not interested.

The father slaps Holden.

FATHER

Do not disgrace this family and

your mother.

The father does the sign of the cross and the boy turns and stares at the radio.

END FLASHBACK.

INT. JAIL CELL

Holden sits against the grey wall and shivers. The U.S. Soldier looks over sympathetically.

U.S. SOLDIER

Smoke?

Holden nods and gets up towards the bars. He is given a cigarette and a flame lights it. Close up on Holden's eyes with the flame reflected. Close up on the flame. Close up on Holden's eyes with flames.

FLASHBACK:

EXT. STREET – NIGHT

Text on screen displays "May 1933." People are around the fire throwing Jewish books into the flames. ERICH, approximately the same age as Holden (mid-teens), notices a book in Holden's back pocket. He grabs it.

ERICH

It's best to get rid of all

Jewish books.

Holden looks saddened.

HOLDEN

At least let me throw it into the

flames.

Holden tosses the book into the fire.

ERICH

Yeah!

EXT. BUILDING – DAY

Text displays "1939." Holden is wearing a military uniform and holds a duffel bag. He walks towards a building where Erich is leaning against a wall and smokes. Erich looks up at Holden.

ERICH

Holden?

HOLDEN

Erich!

ERICH

Holden!

Erich is excited. He throws his cigarette on the ground and steps on it. Erich grabs Holden's arm.

ERICH

You finally joined!

[Insert Mozart music] Erich spins with arms moving with the music. He hums the tune and they walk off to the left of the scene.

EXT. BATTLEFIELD – DAY

Mozart music is still playing. The scene opens with Erich and Holden entering from the right. They are both holding guns walking through dead bodies.

Upward camera view, Erich happily shoots a few bodies. Camera down view of the dead.

Upward camera view, Holden is serious and shoots the bodies. A BODY is slowly crawling away.

ERICH

Got a live one over there!

Erich nods. Holden hesitates, then shoots the body.

They continue to shoot (view of feet passing bodies).

Music fades out.

HOLDEN (V.O.)

I don't know how long I was at war

for.

[Insert actual war footage]

HOLDEN (V.O.)

I know it was more than a year.

I did what I was told.

INT. TRAINYARD

Text displays "1942." A LETTER SOLDIER hands out letters to some men.

LETTER SOLDIER

(calling out)

Wilhelmina... Baum... Godard...

HOLDEN (V.O.)

The day I got back, I didn't receive

any letters. Not from my dad. Not

from Merrill. How could she write me

anyways. I wondered where she was.

EXT. GRASSFIELD – NIGHT

Rustling is heard from the corn field. Out come 4 JEWISH people followed by Erich and another SOLDIER. Holden stands at the spot where they exit.

The 4th Jew is Merrill. She looks right into the eyes of Holden, shocked.

Holden is surprised, and then nervous.

The Jews are all on their knees. GENERAL OSTHEIM stands in the distance. Erich and Holden hold up their arms to shoot Jew # 1 and 3. Jew # 3 gets up and RUNS.

MERRILL

(quietly to Holden)

Please. Help us.

General Ostheim shoots Jew # 3. She falls down.

Erich shoots Jew # 1.

They turn their guns to the other 2.

Erich grabs the chin of Jew # 2. She is teary.

ERICH

(to General Ostheim)

General Ostheim, can we have fun

with these first?

MERRILL

(whispers to Holden)

Please. Holden.

GENERAL OSTHEIM

Nein.

Holden looks at Merrill with fear and shoots both women.

General Ostheim grabs Erich's shoulders.

GENERAL OSTHEIM

Good.

He then grabs Holden's arm, happily.

GENEAL OSTHEIM

Good. Now let's celebrate!

A soldier brings out a bottle of alcohol.

GENERAL OSTHEIM

To finding every last Jew!

The four cheer and drink.

EXT. BUILDINGS – NIGHT

Pan down from lamp post to see Erich and Holden walking through the city streets. There are other Nazi's walking in the distance. There is a twig snap heard. Their guns rise and they walk towards the building.

ERICH

(smiling)

Jew hunting. Jew hunting.

Erich moves to the bushes to reveal a young JEWISH MOTHER holding a BABY, and wearing the Star.

Erich points his gun. He grabs the baby and throws it onto the grass. Baby cries. Erich pulls out the Jewish mother.

ERICH

Come here.

He throws her onto the ground. He flips her skirt and grabs her thigh. She slaps him in defence.

ERICH

You bitch!

He aims his gun at her head Gunfire is heard.

Blood comes out of his mouth. He falls over wheezing. Holden stands in the distance with a gun pointed to where Erich was. Holden goes over to Erich. He looks at him in the eyes. Erich dies.

Holden picks up the baby and hands it to the woman. He rips off her star.

HOLDEN

Get out of here.

She runs away.

Planes are heard. A bomb drops. Holden runs.

Multiple bombs drop and debris flies onto his face.

NAZI SOLDIERS are shooting outwards. They are shot. Holden falls down from the next bomb.

Camera view: looking at the sky. Footsteps are heard. U.S. SOLDIER comes out and stands near Holden's body.

U.S. SOLDIER

This one's alive.

2 AMERICAN SOLDIERS come out and drag Holden's body (same as intro scene).

END FLASHBACK.

INT. JAIL CELL

Holden sits on the cell ground with his pencil on the paper writing.

HOLDEN (V.O.)

Many soldiers have the same story as

I did. I didn't choose to be in this

war. I killed innocents so I would not

die.

Holden stops writing. He looks up.

Flash images of a happy Merrill, the crawling body, Erich, Jew's #1, 2 and 3, and Merrill being shot.

Holden gets up.

INT. STAIRCASE

U.S. Soldier holding a newspaper walks down the steps and walks to the

JAIL CELL

The U.S. Soldier's eyes widen. The newspaper is thrown on the ground.

Close up on the New York Times: "Hitler is Dead."

View into the cell with feet dangling from above.

FADE OUT.

The Ride

Michelle Hoogwoud

**I wrote this probably back in 2003. This is based on a true event that happened to me in 2002.
FADE IN:

EXT. GROCERY STORE – NOON

MIRANDA walks out of the building, and enters the parking lot. ON A WIDER ANGLE Miranda walks towards her car and starts it up. Music PLAYS. The car exits the parking lot.

There is a pedestrian walking outside the grocery store parking lot. ANGLE ON the WOMAN's full profile. She wears skanky clothing and has a big bag filled with stuff.

The Woman is farther behind the car.

The woman puts her hand up

WOMAN

(yell) Hey!

Miranda stops the car at the upcoming stop sign.

She is listening to her music, and heard nothing.

The woman runs up to the car, and knocks on the passenger's window.

CUT TO:

KITCHEN AT HOME – ANYTIME

Miranda and her MOTHER are near the fridge.

MOTHER

Remember this is your first job

in a new location. Please don't

talk to strangers and come straight

home.

MIRANDA

Okay.

CUT TO:

PARKING LOT.

Miranda rolls down the passenger's window.

MIRANDA

Hi.

WOMAN

Hey, could you give me a lift?

My ride was supposed to come

And I don't want to be stranded.

MIRANDA

Did your ride forget to pick

You up? Is it an emergency?

WOMAN

Ummm... Yes.

CUT TO:

EXT/INT CHURCH LIKE SCENE – DAY

FATHER figure or a priest at an alter. Whatever the scene works.

FATHER

Remember my children.

Help each other out, especially

when they are in need.

Make sure the video angles are of from behind Miranda's head, close up on Father, and front view of her in the distance.

CUT TO:

PARKING LOT.

Miranda unlocks the door.

The Woman gets into the passenger's seat.

Miranda begins to drive.

WOMAN

Man! These boots are killing me!

Miranda looks down at the woman's boots.

MIRANDA

So where do I need to go?

WOMAN

13872 34th street.

Thanks for giving me a ride.

Miranda nod's her head.

WOMAN

How are you?

MIRANDA

I just got off work.

WOMAN

Where do you work?

MIRANDA

Extra Foods Grocery.

WOMAN

Ohh! I just came from there!

They have some good stuff!

CUT TO:

GROCERY STORE

The woman put some food into her big bag. Or just a scene of stuff entering the bag.

CUT TO:

THE ROAD/INT CAR.

MIRANDA

Where do you work?

WOMAN

Hmmm... here and there, it all

depends on the clients. Do

you like your job?

MIRANDA

Not really, yourself?

WOMAN

I find it can be a pain. It hurts

at times. In the end it's all

worth it. I get paid on the spot.

EXT. HOUSE.

The car then pulls outside a house.

WOMAN

Not many girls would pick me up.

Thanks (smile)

The woman then gets out of the car, and closes the door.

WOMAN

You're cool.

A MAN exits the house.

Miranda sits quietly in her car.

MAN

(yell) I told you to be here 30

minutes ago!

WOMAN

I'm sorry.

MAN

Who's that? She's pretty

cute.

WOMAN

She's nobody Glen!

Miranda then drives the car away.

Camera angles car leaving the street.

Music plays at an above angle of car leaving, or ground angle.

FADE OUT.
That last script was based on a true event. It actually happened. I was 18 years old and I worked in the bakery of a grocery store. The woman that jumped into my car was a prostitute. I didn't know she was one until I was pretty much almost home from my drive. I was like "holy crap! Did this actually happen?"

My car had no speakers because they blew; I had recently gotten the car and I cranked it up right away, and they blew. Thanks to e-bay they were replaced a few months after. The whole time the woman was in my car it was music-less. Awwwwkkkkkwwwaaaarrrddddddd, lol!

Okay, without further ado, here is the ninety-something page feature script!

So, stop, have a snack. Sleep... before you start something long and new.

"Perception"

or

"The Oatmeal Cookie"

Written & Created By

Michelle Hoogwoud

2008 to 2010 (on and off, editing and re-writing)

FADE IN:

[Insert title scene displaying "The Messed up Perception of Jon"]

EXT. MOVIE THEATRE – NIGHT

A sign shows the title "Wonderful: Starring Sandra Hazelmere." A limo pulls up to the theatre. JON CASTILLO, age 23, very clean cut and skinny, exits the limo with SANDRA, age 23 and very beautiful like a model. The PAPARAZZI crowd on the sides of the red carpet. FLASHES from cameras strobe the carpet. Jon and Sandra take two steps forward. PAPARAZZI 1 cuts them off from their path.

PAPARAZZI 1

(to Jon)

And what's your role in this film?

JON

I'm the editor.

PAPARAZZI 1

(yells out to other paparazzi)

Where is an actor?

PAPARAZZI 2

(to Paparazzi 1)

Don't you know who that is? That's

Sandra Hazelmere! She IS the actor.

(knocks over Paparazzi 1)

What's a hot model like you starring

in an indie movie screening like this?

Paparazzi 1 looks confused and is no longer part of the conversation with Jon.

PAPARAZZI 1

(says to a standby paparazzi)

Who the hell is she?

PAPARAZZI 3 walks near.

PAPARAZZI 3

(to paparazzi 1)

Don't you know? She's the hottest model

right now. Look up there.

Paparazzi 3 points to a billboard and on it is Sandra.

SANDRA

(smiles to Paparazzi 2)

I'm here with my date, Jon.

PAPARAZZI 2

Hi Jon, I take it you did something

for this film?

JON

Yeah, I am the entire visual

effects team.

PAPARAZZI 2

That's a lot of work for one guy.

JON

I manage.

PAPARAZZI 2

(to Sandra)

How long have you two been going out?

SANDRA

Oh no! We're just friends.

Jon's smile decreases a bit.

PAPARAZZI 2

Oh really! Well Sandra, it was a

pleasure to meet you.

(kisses her hand)

The paparazzi crowd LEAPS towards them taking photos of the kiss.

PAPARAZZI 3

(shoves Paparazzi 1 and yells)

Sandra!

PAPARAZZI 2

(to Paparazzi 3)

Watch it.

(to Sandra)

Check for the article in Popular

Films in next month's issue.

JON

Thanks! Will do!

PAPARAZZI 2

For you my lady.

(hands Sandra a business card)

A business card is shown of Paparazzi 2 with a cheesy smile and his name "Frank Paparazzo." Sandra and Jon enter the theatre.

INT. THEATRE - NIGHT

Jon and Sandra greet the crew. Jon SHAKES HANDS with DOUG, age 32, built and very in your face personality.

DOUG

Hey Jon! I can't wait to see and

hear the reactions from the crowd

this time.

JON

I know. Doug, I still can't believe

this is my second feature!

DOUG

Believe it kid.

JON

Kid? You're only nine years older

than me.

DOUG

Yah. Hey sweetstuff. You excited?

SANDRA

Very. My first acting job ever.

Can't wait to see the reaction.

DOUG

(shakes Sandra's hand)

As the director of this film. I

made a wise choice to hire a model

for the film.

SANDRA

You think it matters?

DOUG

Sure does. So how long have you two

been dating?

JON

No, we're just friends.

DOUG

Really...

SANDRA

(blushes)

We're just friends.

DOUG

Sweetstuff. I wouldn't only want

you to be my friend. Anyways,

let's get some popcorn and watch

our movie.

Jon glares at Doug.

CUT TO:

Text shows "Eight Years Later."

INT. JON'S OFFICE – NOON

Jon, age 31, leans back into his chair. He looks scruffy, his eyes are red, and there are bags under his eyes. On his computer displays actors in front of a green screen and he adds in an animated background.

JON'S POV: He sees the screen go a bit fuzzy.

End JON'S POV.

He rubs his eyes. The phone RINGS. Jon's arm reaches and picks up the phone after the first ring.

JON

Yeah?

DOUG (V.O.)

Hey Jon! Shall we work on the

movie today? Hopefully this one will

be the big one.

JON

Yeah, it's been a long time since

the last success. We need to get

back on. Come over later, I'll show

you some CG stills I completed.

Jon gets up and moves to the window and looks out to a window in Sandra's house.

DOUG (V.O.)

Alright.

Through the window, Doug waves from the house next door looking at Jon. Jon waves back confusedly. He hangs up the phone. Sandra is in view and she hugs Doug. Jon looks confused. He then picks up the phone and dials.

INT. SPLIT SCREEN BETWEEN JON AND MATT.

On the left side of the screen is Jon, and on the right is MATT. Matt is playing with a rubix cube. His phone RINGS. He picks it up.

MATT

Hey Jon!

JON

Can you drive me to the doctor?

MATT

Eyes getting worse?

JON

Yeah, I think I saw my boss with

Sandra.

MATT

Why do you care?

JON

Matt, I think she's dating Doug.

A MONKEY SCREAMS in the background of Matt's side.

MATT

(screams into phone)

What?

(yells to monkey)

Quiet monkey.

JON

(louder)

I think she's dating Doug.

MATT

Your director?

JON

Yeah, that Doug. When did this

happen?

MATT

Well, you did just move to that

house 2 years ago. He probably

got to know your crush better

than you.

JON

Whatever. Just come.

SPLIT SCREEN ENDS.

INT. MATT'S HOUSE

A banana is THROWN at Matt's head.

MATT

(angrily)

Monkey.

INT. JON'S HOUSE

Jon hangs up the phone rubs his eyes.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROAD – DAY

A TOYOTA drives along the road. Matt drives, Jon rides shot gun.

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE

Jon and Matt enter the office. A CLIENT exits the inner office with DOCTOR OETKER. The client has hand braces on.

CLIENT

(excitedly)

Thanks Doctor. Who knew that my

Hands were broken.

DOCTOR OETKER

I did.

CLIENT

(excitedly)

That's why you're the doctor.

The client tries to open door handle, and fails. Jon opens the door for Client. Doctor Oetker looks at Jon.

DOCTOR OETKER

(happily)

Hello! Come in. Come in. I'm

Doctor Oetker.

Matt sits down and grabs a magazine.

INT. PRIVATE OFFICE

Jon enters the office with the doctor.

DOCTOR OETKER

Alright Jon, I want you to read the

letters up on that wall there.

JON

Y... O... U... S... U... C... K...

DOCTOR OETKER

Hmm, nothing wrong there. When was

the last time you slept a full eight

hours?

JON

Awhile ago, probably three and a

half weeks ago.

DOCTOR OETKER

(hands Jon a smaller eye test)

Read these letters.

JON

F... Y... I... O... ummm... the light in here

is making my dizzy.

DOCTOR OETKER

Why aren't you sleeping enough?

Did something happen? Is it work

related? It's okay you don't have

to finish reading.

JON

Well this movie I'm editing the

visual for is different from what

I'm used to. I've been trying to

get something awesome and

amazing. It's not easy.

DOCTOR OETKER

Seems like you're stressed.

Dr. Oetker writes up a prescription.

DOCTOR OETKER

I also think you should go see an

Optometrist. Would tomorrow be

alright with you?

JON

Optometrist? Am I going blind?

DOCTOR OETKER

No, you're not. But then again

I can't say for sure because I

am just a family doctor.

JON (V.O.)

Oh my God. I am going blind.

This guy knows nothing.

DOCTOR OETKER

Tomorrow you meet Dr. Jimmy.

Doctor Oetker hands Jon a prescription for stress pills.

CUT TO:

EXT. JON'S BACKYARD – DAY

In the distance Sandra's yard is seen and MOLLY, age 7, exits the patio door from Sandra's. She climbs over the fence and walks across Jon's yard.

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM – DAY

Jon lays on his back on the couch and stares up at the ceiling. Molly enters through the patio door. She looks at Jon and then lies on the ground on her back with her head near Jon's head.

MOLLY

What are we looking at?

JON

The specks on the ceiling.

MOLLY

Why?

JON

To see them, Molly. What if I never see

them again.

MOLLY

Have you counted them?

JON

I tried, then I started thinking

of other things.

MOLLY

I think the specks are confetti

stuck under the paint.

JON

Probably.

The two lay there quietly for a moment.

JON

How's your mom doing?

MOLLY

She made gross cookies today. They

have raisins in them. She wants to

make the yummy food healthy.

JON

I hate raisins too.

MOLLY

They're evil.

JON

What kind do you want her to make?

MOLLY

(excitedly)

Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Molly gets up and pulls out a paper from her backpack and puts it on Jon's stomach. Jon looks at the drawing to see a dragon beautifully sketched.

MOLLY

I drew the dragon from your movie.

JON

Wow Molly! This is brilliant. Way

better than your last one. You should

go to art school.

MOLLY

Really! You think so?

Molly hugs Jon.

JON

Of course I think so. Look at this.

MOLLY

I also drew a picture of my parents.

Molly hands Jon a picture of Sandra and Paparazzi 2. Jon looks at the picture.

JON'S FLASHBACK:

EXT. WEDDING

The sign of the wedding states "PAPARAZZO & SANDRA'S WEDDING." In the aisle seats are Jon and Doug.

DOUG (to Jon)

(quietly)

You missed your chance kid.

JON

(saddened)

We're just friends.

DOUG

(disbelief)

Uh... huh.

CUT TO:

INT. RECEPTION

Glasses clang together. Paparazzi 2 stands up.

PAPARAZZI 2

I am so happy to have met my

beautiful wife Sandra. It wouldn't

have been possible if Jon didn't

bring her to the movie screening

last year. Thank you Jon!

The crowd cheers.

JON

(angry mutter)

Paparazzo!

DOUG

(pats Jon's back)

It's okay, you're just friends.

CUT TO:

EXT. CEMETARY - DAY

The burial for Paparazzi 2 has completed.

PAPARAZZI 1

I can't believe the extent he'd go

for an interview.

PAPARAZZI 1'S FLASHBACK:

EXT. PARADE – DAY

Paparazzi 2 is chasing after a celebrity, ROZ, on an elephant. He runs next to the elephant.

PAPARAZZI 2

Roz! Roz! I just want to ask a few

questions!

ROZ

Go away!

PAPARAZZI 2

Just a few minutes!

ROZ

Just leave me alone!

PAPARAZZI 2

But you're famous Roz!

ROZ

I'm just a producer. No one knows

who I am!

PAPARAZZI 2

I know you Roz!

Paparazzi 2 is SQUISHED by the elephant's foot. Once the elephant lifts it's foot again a flat Paparazzi 2 is visible.

PAPARAZZI 2

(quietly and in pain)

Rozzzzzzz-----

END PAPARAZZI 1'S FLASHBACK.

EXT. CEMETARY - DAY

Sandra is crying and Molly, age 2, is holding Sandra's hand. The tombstone has a picture of Paparazzi 2 with a fake smile.

END FLASH BACK.

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM

Jon holds the sketched portrait.

JON

This looks perfect Molly. Have you

shown your mom?

MOLLY

Not yet. How's your editing going?

JON

It's in progress. I'm taking my

time.

Jon pauses and hands the picture back to Molly.

JON

Does Doug hang around your house

a lot?

MOLLY

Obviously, he's my mom's boyfriend.

JON

Oh.

MOLLY

OK, well I am gonna give this to

my mom. Bye.

Molly hugs Jon. She exits through the patio door.

EXT. JON'S BACKYARD – DAY

Molly SPRINTS and SCREAMS while a dog chases her. She jumps over the fence.

INT. JON'S FAMILYROOM/KITCHEN – DAY

Jon gets up and goes to the kitchen. He makes some food. He looks at a photo of him and Sandra on his fridge. The picture is shown. Then a front view of Jon. Then a close up of the picture is shown. Then a closer view of Jon. Then a closer picture than before. Then a really close up of Jon as the camera moves closer to his face and he smacks into it.

JON

Ouch!

Jon rubs his head. He looks at the photo of Jon and Sandra again.

JON

I guess I did miss my chance.

He opens the fridge and makes a sandwich.

CUT TO:

EXT. JON'S FRONT PORCH – EVENING/SUNSET

Jon sits at his porch and looks over at Sandra's yard.

SANDRA'S YARD – JON'S POV

Molly skips with a jump rope. Sandra hugs Doug. They kiss. They then stand next to each other and Molly stands in front of them and they all smile. A Polaroid of the three of them then flies out from view with the depth perception off and lands into Jon's hand.

JON'S FRONT PORCH

Jon looks confused. Jon keeps looking at Sandra.

DOUG (O.S.)

(faintly)

Jon... Jon.

(louder)

JON!

Jon then looks up and sees Doug standing in front of him. Jon puts his hand over his eyes to block the sun.

JON

Yeah? Why are you here?

DOUG

The C.G. stills, remember?

JON

Oh yeah.

Jon then enters the house and comes out quickly. He hands the C.G. still pictures of dragons to Doug.

DOUG

Thanks. This looks impressive.

And here I thought you only did

landscapes.

Doug then goes over to Sandra's yard, and gives her a kiss goodbye. He picks up Molly, and she giggles. Doug gets into his car and drives slowly past Jon's house. Jon watches as Doug drives away. The driver's window scrolls down.

DOUG

(yells)

You're just friends, remember!

HAHAHAHA!

Doug drives away. Jon makes an angry sound. Matt walks up the front path. He looks at Jon, and then at Sandra. He waves to them.

EXT. SANDRA'S FRONT YARD – EVENING/SUNSET

Matt walks over to Sandra and Molly.

MATT

(to Sandra)

Hey Sandra!

SANDRA

Hey Matt!

MATT

How've you been?

SANDRA

Good. Just about to make dinner

for my special girl!

MATT

Alright, have a good evening!

Sandra and Molly enter their house. Jon looks at Matt.

JON

Are you trying to rub it in?

MATT

If you really like her, you'd

at least talk to her.

JON

I feel like I am losing her for

the second time.

MATT

You never really tried in the

first place. So talk to her sometimes.

Anyways, I brought some video

games, lets play the night away!

INT. FAMILY ROOM – NIGHT

A montage of the two men play RPG video games for 3 hours. Clock arms spins. They laugh. They munch on some food.

JON'S POV – The video game

Jon plays the game, and then everything appears as if he was in the game. He is then the main character in the game and he fights dragons.

MATT (V.O.)

(quietly)

Jon.

JON

Not now Matt, Sandra needs to

be rescued from the evil

creatures!

MATT (V.O.)

Jon.

JON

What?

INT. FAMILY ROOM

Matt is next to Jon and he is waving his hand in front of him.

MATT

Snap out of it man.

JON

Huh?

MATT

You've been game over for almost

five minutes. Is your work getting

to you?

JON

No. I'm good. I'm good.

Matt then sits on the couch and relaxes.

JON

Hey, do you think Sandra really

likes Doug?

MATT

Man, you need to stop thinking

about her.

JON

How can I when she lives next door?

MATT

Why did you decide to buy this

house next to her? You're obsessed.

You need a woman.

JON

Yeah, I want Sandra.

MATT

No. You need a woman not Sandra.

JON

What? Why?

MATT

It's been a freakin long time

that you've known Sandra, and

you're too wimpy to do anything.

So, obviously nothing is going

to happen. You need a girlfriend.

JON

Yeah, stuff like that never just

happens instantly.

MATT

Sure it does. I know a hot woman

who's single. You should meet her.

I think it will help you stop

thinking about Sandra.

JON

How will I meet her. On a date?

MATT

Nah, we'll have a party in a few

days. I'll invite her.

JON

Alright. But, why don't you date

her? You're single too.

MATT

You mean Sandra?

JON

(yells)

No.

MATT

Calm down, I'm just kidding.

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM - MORNING

Jon is passed out on the couch and Matt plays with Jon's chin pushing it down to make his mouth open when he voices over for him.

MATT

Hey Jon, what's up?

(higher)

I'm going blind Matt, I can't see.

(normal)

Oh my! That's horrible. What are

you gonna do?

(higher)

I'm going to be depressed because

I won't be able to see Sandra

anymore.

(normal)

Wouldn't you be depressed because

you lost your vision in general?

(higher)

Yes that too. I'm a stupid head.

(normal)

Yes you are.

Jon wakes up.

JON

I'm a what?

MATT

Gonna get ready soon because we're

going to the eye doctor.

JON

What time is it?

MATT

Ten fifteen. We got time.

EXT. JON'S FRONT HOUSE – MORNING

Molly has a jump rope and skips from Sandra's to Jon's. She skips in one spot and faces his door.

MOLLY

I like chicken, I like liver,

meow mix, meow mix, please

deliver.

Molly sees a cat. She stops skipping and stares at the cat. The cat walks over to Molly.

MOLLY

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't really have

any meow mix.

The cat looks up and turns around.

MOLLY

Wait!

Molly puts her hand on the cat's tail. It screams and claws at Molly. Jon exits his house. He DROPS his coffee mug and runs to help Molly. He grabs the cat and throws it across the street over a neighbour's house. A CRASH is heard. Molly is in tears.

JON

Are you okay?

Molly shakes her head 'no.' Jon carries Molly over to Sandra's house. They enter through the front door.

INT. SANDRA'S KITCHEN – MORNING

Jon carries Molly into the kitchen. Sandra faces the wall and washes dishes.

SANDRA

Didn't want to play outside

anymore, Molly?

JON

No, a cat scratched her.

Sandra turns around.

SANDRA

Oh baby! Are you okay?

MOLLY

(whines)

It hurts.

SANDRA

Jon, can you go to the laundry

room and get some Band-Aids and

disinfectant?

JON

Sure.

Molly sits on the ledge of the counter and Sandra grabs a dish cloth from the drawer, dampens it with water and dabs it on Molly's knee.

INT. SANDRA'S HALLWAY – MORNING

Jon walks through the hallway and looks at the photo on the wall: A wedding photo, a baby picture of Molly, a family portrait, and one of Jon and Sandra... the same photo that's on Jon's fridge. He smiles.

INT. SANDRA'S KITCHEN – MORNING

SANDRA

So what made the mean ol' cat want

to hurt you?

MOLLY

I dunno.

SANDRA

Are you sure you don't know?

Molly shrugs. Jon enters the kitchen and hands the disinfectant and cotton swabs to Sandra and stands near Molly. He places the Band-Aids on the counter.

SANDRA

Thanks.

Sandra dabs the disinfectant on Molly's cuts. Molly grabs onto Jon and whines. Molly kicks the bottle of disinfectant out of Sandra's hand. The bottle falls and both Sandra and Jon reach to grab it. They bump into each other and Jon loses his balance and falls on Sandra.

SANDRA

Woah!

They land on the ground. The bottle empties near them. Jon looks at Sandra's face and smiles.

JON

You ever wondered what would've

happened if we were--

Doug enters the kitchen and sees Jon on top of Sandra. Molly's legs dangle above them. Doug has a look of shock.

SANDRA

Hey Doug.

JON

We were just trying to help

Molly's scratches.

Jon moves and they both stand up. Sandra gets the Band-Aids and puts some on Molly.

JON

(to Doug)

We just tripped.

Doug moves closer to Sandra and Jon moves away. Doug kisses Sandra on the cheek and pats Molly's head.

DOUG

Everything alright with MY special

little girl?

MOLLY

A cat scratched me, and it hurt!

DOUG

Oh, in that case—

Doug pulls out a lollipop from his bag and hands it to Molly.

MOLLY

Yay! Thanks Doug!

Doug gives Jon a snarky look.

JON

Alright, I better get going.

DOUG

That's right.

SANDRA

Thanks Jon. Bye.

MOLLY

(shouts)

Jon. Can I help you on the video

later?

JON

Tomorrow, Molly.

MOLLY

Okay!

Jon leaves the kitchen.

EXT. JON'S FRONT HOUSE – MORNING

Jon walks over to his house. Matt comes out through the front door. He looks down at the porch.

MATT

(disgusted)

Ugh, there's coffee everywhere.

They walk towards Matt's car.

MATT

So what happened?

JON

I dropped the mug.

MATT

No, not that. You came from

Sandra's.

JON

I think Sandra still likes me.

MATT

Dude, you dated in college, that

was a long time ago. Give up.

JON

You're supposed to motivate me,

Matt. You're my best friend.

They enter Matt's car and the doors slam shut.

INT. OPTOMETRIST'S OFFICE – DAY

Jon and Matt are in the waiting room. A RECEPTIONIST sits at her desk. A sign on the desk shows "MISS DIMWIT." A ROBBER 1 runs into the waiting room. He is holding a can opener.

ROBBER 1

Okay everybody! This is a stick

up! Put your hands up!

The receptionist screams.

ROBBER 1

(yells)

Gimmie your money.

RECEPTIONIST

I only have files.

ROBBER 1

What kind of a bank is this?

RECEPTIONIST

(stutters)

I... It... It's... not...

ROBBER 2 enters the waiting room holding a banana.

ROBBER 2

(yells)

Okay, everybody freeze.

(squints and looks around room)

ROBBER 2

Wow, You're all fast.

ROBBER 1

Hey, I was here first.

ROBBER 2

What? Well I'm here now.

ROBBER 1

Find your own bank you fool.

ROBBER 2

Well apparently you didn't

accomplish anything.

The two robbers fight each other. The receptionist looks over the edge of her desk.

RECEPTIONIST

This is an optometrist's office.

ROBBER 1

Really?

ROBBER 2

I hadn't noticed. Did you?

ROBBER 1

I can't actually see too well.

RECEPTIONIST

Well how about I book you both

an appointment?

ROBBER 1 & 2

Okay.

The two look at each other. A CLIENT 2 exits the doctor's office with two eye patches on. DR. JIMMY exits the office and he looks exactly like Dr. Oetker.

CLIENT 2

Thanks doctor.

DR. JIMMY

Keep those on for two weeks. Have

DR. JIMMY

a safe drive home now!

Client 2 exits the waiting room. The two robbers are at the desk booking an appointment. Dr. Jimmy grabs a folder off the desk.

DR. JIMMY

Jon Castillo?

JON

Dr. Oetker?

DR. JIMMY

Oh no, I'm Dr. Jimmy. Oetker is

my sister's best friend.

Jon gets up and follows Dr. Jimmy into the office.

INT. DR. JIMMY'S OFFICE – DAY

Dr. Jimmy has a light flashing in Jon's eye. He turns it off and lifts up one of Jon's eyelid.

DR. JIMMY

How long have you been having these

problems?

JON

It's been getting worse slowly over

the past six or seven months.

DR. JIMMY

Well mister Castillo, looks like

you are hyperopic.

Jon looks confused.

DR. JIMMY

You are far sighted and you need

glasses.

JON

(shocked)

I need glasses?

Dr. Jimmy writes up a prescription.

JON

Doctor, I've also had problems

sleeping at night. Could that

also be part of the problem?

DR. JIMMY

Your probably worried about the

headaches you've been getting.

JON

Am I going blind?

DR. JIMMY

No. You need glasses.

JON

How long do I have?

DR. JIMMY

A week. These lenses are thicker so

I need to order these in.

JON

(loudly)

Oh my god. I'll look like a freak!

DR. JIMMY

(pauses)

Young man, this is not such a big

deal.

JON

(traumatized)

I'll look like a nerd.

DR. JIMMY

All right then. Come back in a

week.

INT. MATT'S CAR – DAY

Matt drives the car. Jon grips onto the prescription. Matt looks at the papers.

MATT

It'll be okay.

Jon looks depressed.

MATT

I won't be able to stay over

tonight. I need to check up on my

monkey.

Jon nods. Matt stops the car at Jon's house.

MATT

I'll see you later.

Jon nods and exits the car.

EXT. JON'S HOUSE – DAY

Depressing violin music plays. Jon opens up his mailbox and takes out a notice. He opens it. CLOSE UP on paper. It states that the mortgage hasn't been paid in full for the last year. CLOSE UP on the word 'EVICTION,' and CLOSE UP on the words '3 MONTHS.' Jon slowly walks up the walkway. He passes by an OLD WOMAN in black mourning.

OLD WOMAN

(cries)

WAAAHHHHHH! OOHHH WHY?

AAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Jon passes by a CHILD. He is on the grass with a tricycle on its side. The child is in tears and cries loudly. Jon passes a HOBO.

HOBO

(panhandling)

Money for the poor? Money for the

poor?

Jon passes by a teen couple: TEEN BOY and TEEN GIRL.

TEEN GIRL

(yells)

I don't love you anymore Billy!

TEEN BOY

But why, Veronica? Why?

TEEN GIRL

I found someone else!

Teen girl goes off screen.

TEEN BOY

(screams)

NOOOOOO---

Jon walks up his porch steps, and enters his house.

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM – DAY

Jon sits in a chair and looks straight ahead. He has a blank look in his face. The clock hands spin faster.

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM – EVENING – JON'S POV

Jon's hand is in front of his face, and it's a blur.

INT. JON'S BEDROOM – EVENING

Jon lies on his bed and sighs. The phone rings. Jon answers the phone.

JON

Hello?

DOUG (ON PHONE)

Hey, Jon. It's Doug.

JON

Hey. What's up?

DOUG (V.O.)

I have some news for you. It's

not good.

JON

Fine, my day can't get any worse

as it has already.

DOUG (V.O.)

Yeah, well the deadline for the

movie has been pushed up by six

weeks.

JON

(yells)

What?

DOUG (V.O.)

That only gives us a week. If

you aren't able to do this, I'll

find someone else.

JON

Why was it pushed up?

DOUG (V.O.)

Something about having a better

marketing outcome, and the time

to feature is better. We'll have

a better profit.

JON

Oh my God. Life is going downhill.

Can I get paid in advance?

DOUG (V.O.)

At the end of the week you'll get

some pay. The rest later. Are you

able to do this?

JON

Yeah. Gimmie some time. Come over

in two days. I should have

something for us to work with.

DOUG (V.O.)

Thanks Jon.

INT. DOUG'S HOUSE – EVENING

Doug hangs up the phone. He laughs. A list of "EVIL THINGS TO DO" is shown. It has a checkmark next to "DATE HOT MODEL TO MAKE MORE PEOPLE NOTICE MY FILMS". He puts a check mark next to "LIE TO JON ABOUT DEADLINE." Below it without a checkmark states: "ANNOUNCE TO PAPARAZZI I'M DATING SANDRA HAZELMERE."

DOUG

Now you have no choice but to

focus only on work, Jon.

INT. JON'S BEDROOM – EVENING

Jon throws the phone at a chair and screams. He exits his bedroom.

INT. JON'S OFFICE – EVENING

Jon enters his office and sits at the computer. He turns it on and looks at the screen with the 3D designs in an editing program.

INT. JON'S OFFICE – EVENING – JON'S POV

The screen is blurry. He moves closer to the screen and it is more blurry. Jon sits at the other end of the room and he can see the computer clearly.

End Jon's POV.

Jon screams at the computer and gets up and smacks the keyboard off the desk. He gets up and smacks into the wall next to the door. He screams at the door.

JON

(yells)

Stupid door.

INT. JON'S STAIRS – EVENING

Jon stomps down the stairs screaming.

INT. JON'S KITCHEN – EVENING

Jon stops screaming and looks out his window at Sandra's house. He turns around and looks at oatmeal chocolate chip cookie mix on the counter. He takes out a mixing bowl and begins to make some cookies.

JON

Molly, these are for you. There

are no raisins.

He mixes. He gets a pan. He drops portions of cookie mix on the pan. He puts the pan in the oven.

JON

Fricken one week. What the crap.

The clock states 11 O'Clock. It then changes to 2AM.

INT. JON'S KITCHEN - 2AM

Jon is watching the shopping channel. He sees a product that he would never need. The television shows "DIAL NOW" and his hand moves to the space next to him. He gets up and walks into the kitchen heading towards the phone. Jon passes the batch of cookies on a plate and takes the phone off the receiver.

HERMAN (V.O.)

Hey. Jon.

Jon turns around and sees a cookie, HERMAN, on the edge of the counter.

HERMAN

Hey, let's go play.

Jon dials a number into the phone.

JON

Molly, isn't it a little bit late

for you to be over?

Jon looks up at the clock. It shows 2:00AM.

JON

(surprised)

Woah. It's really late. What are  
you--

He walks on over to the other side of the counter and nobody is there.

JON

\--doing here?

Jon walks around the kitchen island another time, and looks into the family room.

HERMAN

Hey Jon, I'm over here.

Jon's POV – Jon looks down at the kitchen island. There is a cookie with arms, legs and a face. Jon is the only one in the entire script who can see it alive. Jon drops the phone and it lands on the ground.

HERMAN

What do you like to do for fun,

Jon?

JON

Huh... I, uh... don't rea--

HERMAN

Exactly. And that is why I am

here.

Jon looks confused and rubs his eyes.

JON

You're still there.

HERMAN

Of course I am, Jon.

No longer at Jon's POV, but the cookie still has a face and limbs.

JON

But, why?

HERMAN

I have a mission, Jon. I have to

take over the grocery store.

JON

What's so great about the

grocery store?

HERMAN

Nothing, Jon. They put me on sale

and got rid of my product line.

I felt unwanted and got the idea

I was cheap. I'll show them

who's cheap!

Herman begins to laugh manically. Jon looks shocked.

JON

I must be going insane. So tell

me, what can a cookie do to a

grocery store?

HERMAN

This is where you come in, Jon.

You will help me take over the

Place. You will be named king of

the grocery store! Just imagine,

free food.

JON

Hmm... I could use free food, or

I could eat you.

HERMAN

You won't eat me, Jon, because

I am the doorway for you to get

more food.

Herman walks over to Jon's belly and rubs it.

HERMAN

(mumbles)

Yes my minion.

JON

What?

HERMAN

Nothing.

Jon puts Herman into his hand and walks over to

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM - NIGHT

Jon enters and sits on the couch with Herman in his hand. He sets it down beside him.

JON

So what's your name?

HERMAN

Herman.

Herman sits cross legged.

JON

Well Herman, I have a job to do

and it's due soon.

HERMAN

No it's not. Besides, it's not

fun, not as fun as dominating a

grocery store where you will

reign as king. That is what you

want, right, Jon? To be known for

success.

JON

Success.

HERMAN

That's right, Jon. Let's go.

Jon gets up from the couch. He grabs Herman and puts it in his pocket.

CUT TO:

INT. GROCERY STORE - 3AM

The 24 hour grocery store parking lot is almost empty. Jon enters the store. Herman peeks out of Jon's pocket. They pass by the discount sign next to cookie mix of the same brand that Jon has in his kitchen.

HERMAN

(mumbles)

I'm not cheap.

BAKED NEEDS AISLE - NIGHT

Jon walks along the aisle and passes some cookie mixes. There is a different brand is on the shelves from the cookie mix that was in Jon's kitchen.

HERMAN

This is the enemy who knocked

me off the shelves, Jon. You

may eat them.

Jon opens up the cookie mix and sticks his hand in. A male EMPLOYEE walks by the end of the aisle and starts to walk towards him. The employee cannot hear Herman.

EMPLOYEE

Sir, I hope you plan to

purchase that.

HERMAN

Fool! He will soon be your

king! Bow down to him!

Jon hesitantly nods. The employee looks at Jon's eyes. They are very red.

EMPLOYEE

Are you okay?

Jon nods again.

EMPLOYEE

(concerned)

Alright.

The employee leaves.

HERMAN

You disappoint me, Jon. Let's

carry on.

Jon walks in to

THE VEGETABLE SECTION - NIGHT

Jon stares long and hard at the vegetables. The employee watches Jon from a distance. Jon begins to talk to some vegetables, but not long conversations. He walks to

THE CHECKOUT COUNTER - NIGHT

Jon arrives with his groceries.

EMPLOYEE

Hey, how are you holding up?

JON

Pretty good, I checked out my

domain and I quite like it.

EMPLOYEE

Yeah, what website?

JON

No website, this domain. I will

be king of all of this.

Jon pays for his groceries. Jon takes his bag of groceries and goes to the exit.

EMPLOYEE

Alright, have a good night.

(softly)

Nutcase.

CUT TO:

INT. JON'S FAMILY ROOM – 4AM

Jon lies on his couch. Herman hops out of the pocket and stands on Jon's stomach.

JON

So what do you want to do now?

HERMAN

We could plan out how we are

going to take over the grocery

store.

JON

Nah, let's do that later.

Jon grabs the TV remote and turns the TV on displaying the shopping channel.

JON

I have a project to finish you

know.

HERMAN

No you don't, Jon.

JON

Yes, I do. I have to finish it,

they are all counting on me.

HERMAN

Why do you have to finish it?

JON

I'll have great success. I think

this project might give it.

HERMAN

But you're already granted

success, Jon. You're going to

be king. King.

JON

King.

LATER

Jon stares blankly at the television. He does not fall asleep. The clock changes from 4:05 AM to 10:00 AM. Jon's eyes are red and dark circles are underneath. There is a regular cookie on a plate on the table in front of him.

JON

(to Herman)

I never thought I would excel in

my career so early on in my life.

(pause)

I know.

(pause)

It is going downhill.

Molly enters through the patio door, and slowly walks into the family room. Jon does not notice her. Molly sees a regular cookie and cannot hear it speak.

JON

(to Herman)

I'll be king. You promise?

MOLLY

(imitates)

You promise?

JON

(to Herman)

Seriously, you're the best.

MOLLY

You're the best.

Jon turns his head and looks at Molly.

JON

Yes?

MOLLY

Hi!

JON

What do you want?

MOLLY

I'm here to help on the movie.

JON

I don't wanna work on it now.

MOLLY

But why not? I want to help.

Jon looks at the cookie.

JON

Herman says he doesn't like you.

MOLLY

What! Why doesn't he like me?

Who is he?

Jon points to the cookie on the plate.

MOLLY

Well tell Herman I don't like

him either.

JON

He heard you.

MOLLY

He makes me mad. I want to eat

him.

JON

There are others on the kitchen

table, you can eat those.

Molly gets up and goes into the kitchen, takes a few cookies. She returns.

MOLLY

(chews a cookie)

So, when are we gonna work on it?

JON

(angrily)

Not today. I told you I don't

wanna work on it now. Besides,

I'm hanging out with Herman.

MOLLY

Herman's a meanie.

JON

He's my friend. If you don't

like him, you can just leave.

MOLLY

(loudly)

What! You're being a meanie

Jon!

Jon shoos her with his hand.

MOLLY

Fine, I don't need to hang out

with you and your stupid cookie

anyways.

Molly leaves through the patio door. Herman is now alive with a face and limbs.

HERMAN

Finally. She annoys me, Jon.

JON

Why? She's only seven.

HERMAN

She'll just get in the way. She

wants you to focus on pointless

editing when you can just have

success now.

The phone rings. Jon picks it up.

JON

(to phone)

Hey Doug. Yeah it's coming along.

(pause)

Awesome.

(pause)

Yeah, come over at seven.

Jon hangs up the phone.

JON

(to Herman)

Looks like I should work on it

after all.

HERMAN

You're letting your boss take

over your life, Jon.

JON

He liked my C.G. stills.

HERMAN

So, that only means you have to

do more work.

JON

Herman, this could be a great

step for me.

HERMAN

He has power over you. Who's the

king in this position?

JON

Doug.

HERMAN

Exactly, Jon.

The phone rings. Jon picks it up. SPLIT-SCREEN between Matt and Jon on the phone. Matt is at a zoo.

MATT

Hey.

JON

Hey.

MATT

What are you up to right now?

JON

Nothing.

MATT

Great! I need some help at my

work. Could you help out?

JON

Sure. See ya.

Jon hangs up the phone. Split-screen ends.

JON

Well, Herman, I'm off. Think

of a plan for the grocery store

and tell me it when I come back.

Jon gets up from the couch.

EXT. ZOO – NOON

Matt's Toyota parks in the 'employees only' stall in the zoo parking lot. Matt and Jon exit the car. They enter the building, and Matt puts on his employee tag.

INT. ZOO – NOON

Matt and Jon push wheel barrels and stop at the monkey cages.

MATT

Thanks for helping, we were

short staffed today. No way I

could do this all on my own.

Jon looks at a monkey in the field below the bars. In Jon's POV everything is seen hazier than before, and he squints to make things a bit clear. End Jon's POV.

JON

Hey, is that the monkey?

MATT

Yup!

JON

How did you escape with it in

the first place?

MATT

They let me close up a few days

ago.

Jon smiles.

MATT

I returned him this morning. I

was glad no one even noticed. I

had him for four days. That's

crazy, man!

JON

But why even have it in the

first place?

MATT

Jon, tell me. Have you never

dreamed of having a monkey of

your own?

JON

At one point.

MATT

Then you know how I feel. I

guess for you it's a woman of

your own.

JON

Thanks.

MATT

I feel like my life is a little

bit more complete. Take my

advice.

JON

Advice?

MATT

To be more complete. I feel like

I just succeeded in fulfilling

my dreams. You're doing well

anyways with the movie editing

thing.

JON

Kinda. It's getting frustrating.

MATT

Well, finish it so we can party

and find you a woman. You're

like what, thirty-five?

JON

Thirty-one.

MATT

Whatever, that's still older

than me. The thing is, you're

getting old, and guys your age

have girlfriends or are already

dad's.

JON

Jeez, I'm helping you out here.

I could just go home and listen

to Herman and not clean up

animal crap.

MATT

Who's Herman?

JON

He's my new friend.

A GROUP OF WOMEN in their mid-twenties walk by and look at the cages near the monkeys. Matt is distracted.

MATT

Look over there.

Jon turns his head and sees the group of women.

JON'S POV, everything is hazy as if it were a dream. Behind the group of women in the distance Jon sees Sandra. Matt stops working and walks on over to the women. He talks to them. Sandra holds Molly's hand and they walk closer to him. Matt turns his head and sees Sandra. He tells the women goodbye, and walks towards Sandra and Molly. A gorilla climbs from the top of the cage below and pulls one of the women in. They scream and they run away. Jon sees Sandra and Molly walk towards him, but then Doug is in front of him.

DOUG

(chuckles)

Cleaning up crap?

End Jon's POV.

JON

Supervising a field trip?

DOUG

I hope you have time to work

on the editing with me today.

JON

(sarcastically)

Of course.

DOUG

What's up with you?

In the distance, there are police and an ambulance at the spot where the woman was pulled in. The women are in tears and are conversing with a detective. A herd of kids are following behind Sandra and a teacher.

JON

(looks at Sandra)

You messed up my fantasy.

DOUG

Great.

(walks away)

Oh and Jon.

JON

Yeah?

DOUG

Stay away from my woman.

Doug walks with Sandra and they walk past Jon. Sandra waves at him. Molly sticks out her tongue to Jon. The herd of kids copy Molly and stick their tongues out towards Jon. They all leave. Matt stands near Jon.

JON

What was up with that, man?

MATT

I know, I didn't even see the

gorilla pull the woman in.

JON

What?

Matt points in the distance, and Jon looks.

JON

That's scary. No, I'm going off

topic. What was up with you

going over and talking to Sandra?

MATT

Dude, you need to get over her.

JON

You left me alone with Doug.

Frick, he's watching me like a

hawk.

MATT

Speaking of animals, let me show

you some pictures of myself with

the monkey.

Matt shows photos of himself with the monkey that was at his place. The photos show Matt and the monkey playing video games, cooking, posing on a couch, and Matt in a gorilla costume.

CUT TO:

INT. SANDRA'S KITCHEN – 5PM

Molly is sitting at the kitchen table and colouring. Sandra is cleaning the counters and Doug walks in. He grabs his keys off the counter.

SANDRA

Hey Doug, how about taking me out

to dinner, we haven't done that

in awhile.

DOUG

No can do sweetstuff, I have some

work to do tonight.

SANDRA

All night?

DOUG

Yep.

Sandra sighs.

Doug exits the kitchen.

DOUG (O.S.)

Maybe next time.

INT. JON'S OFFICE ROOM – EVENING

Jon sits in front of the computer monitor and is working on editing the movie. He places some files in the program and works on making 3D animations for more dragons. The doorbell RINGS. Jon gets up.

INT. JON'S FRONT ENTRANCE – EVENING

Jon opens the front door to see Doug.

JON

Hey... Doug.

DOUG

Sorry about earlier. I was a

bit upset what happened in the

kitchen.

JON

(agitated)

Just a bit? You're freakin'

stalking me! And at a zoo.

DOUG

It was a coincidence.

JON

Right. Come in.

Doug enters the front door.

INT. JON'S OFFICE ROOM – 5:15PM

The clock indicates 5:15PM. The two men sit side by side and look at the monitor. Jon shows what he plans to do. Doug pulls out a few pages from his folder and puts it on the table. Doug points at story boards and points at the screen displaying the dragons.

DOUG

How long do you think it would

take you before you can input the

dragons?

JON

About ten hours if I finish it

in one go.

DOUG

Okay, how about adding in the

animation?

JON

We're looking at more than a

few weeks.

DOUG

There's only a few days left.

you can do it, you're the

visual effects team.

JON

Who authorized it to be completed

within a week?

DOUG

I told you, it was something

about a better marketing outcome.

JON

(loudly)

I don't care about it. I wanna

know who put the pressure on me

to do this. It's unreasonable to

edit an entire feature in one week.

The phone rings.

JON

Mind if I get that?

DOUG

Nope. I gotta jet outta here

anyways.

Jon walks over to the phone and sees the caller ID showing the name 'SANDRA.' Jon smiles. Doug gets up from the chair and walks to the door. The phone rings again.

JON

(smiles and waves)

See ya later.

Doug exits the room. A THUD is heard from the front door closing. Jon clicks a button on the phone.

JON (to phone)

Hey, um, hi... Sandra, hello.

(lower voice)

Hello.

SANDRA (phone V.O.)

Hi Jon, we haven't hung out in

A long time. Do you wanna hang

out?

JON (to phone)

Yeah.

CUT TO:

EXT. SANDRA'S HOUSE – EVENING

Jon is at the porch and Sandra opens the front door.

JON

Ready to go?

SANDRA

Yup.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT – EVENING

Jon and Sandra sit across from each other in a booth. The lighting is very dim and candles are on tables. Sandra is wearing a fitted black dress and Jon is wearing a brown blazer over a T-shirt with light jeans and looks very scruffy.

SANDRA

So, how've you been?

JON

Well...

(pause)

I've been seeing a talking cookie.

His name is Herman. He's gonna

help me take over the grocery

store.

Sandra has a concerned look on her face.

SANDRA

Are you okay?

JON

Well, I haven't gotten a good

Sleep in awhile.

SANDRA

Have you tried sleeping pills?

JON

(laughs)

I'm just kidding.

He looks down to his lap and has pills in his hand. He puts them in his pocket.

JON

Remember when we first met, back

in college?

SANDRA

(happily)

How could I not.

JON

Yeah, back in those dorms.

SANDRA

I completely remember. I had just

finished my evening class and you

were out in the hallways butt naked

locked outta your dorm.

JON

I wasn't butt naked!

SANDRA

Okay, you had tighty whities on.

Still was a sight.

JON

(happily)

You laughed at me and ran away.

SANDRA

Hey, I came back with a towel for

you. Anyways, you hung out in my

dorm until your friend was finished.

(pause)

Do you still have those tighty

whities?

JON

(blushes)

No, I threw those out ages ago.

SANDRA

(giggles)

I miss those old days, we did have

a lot of fun.

JON

Yeah. You looked hot back then.

SANDRA

What am I now?

JON

You're still hot Sandra, you're a

hot model.

SANDRA

Don't base me off my job.

JON

Sorry.

Jon is silent.

SANDRA

(pushes Jon's shoulder)

I'm kidding. I know you wouldn't

think that.

They both laugh.

INT. JON'S LIVING ROOM – Evening

Matt and Molly are eating McDonalds and watching cartoons. Matt takes a sip from his drink and then burps. Molly does the same. Matt burps louder. Molly does a quiet burp.

MATT

Guess I win.

MOLLY

Only cuz you're bigger.

Matt changes channels on the TV.

MATT

Where do you think they went?

MOLLY

Ice skating.

MATT

Nah.

MOLLY

That's what I would wanna do on a

date?

MATT

(shocked)

It's a date?

Molly nods. Matt grabs the cookie on the plate on the table.

MOLLY

(screams)

No----- Not that cookie.

MATT

Why not?

MOLLY

It's contaminated. Bad. No Good.

Molly makes an 'X' in the air with her arms.

MATT

Alright, not like there aren't

others in the kitchen.

Matt gets up and goes into the kitchen. Molly looks are the lonesome cookie.

MOLLY

(quietly)

Herman.

EXT. SANDRA'S HOUSE – LATE

Jon and Sandra are on Sandra's porch. She rummages through her purse and pulls out her keys.

SANDRA

Thanks Jon. I haven't had this

much fun in a long time. We should

do this more often.

JON

I would love that.

Sandra puts the key into the door and unlocks it.

JON

Well, I guess we'll call it a night.

Sandra walks into her house as she opens the door. She turns around.

SANDRA

Goodnight Jon. Could you send Matt

to bring Molly over?

JON

Sure.

Jon waves at Sandra and walks over to his house.

INT. JON'S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The television is on and late night shows and adult commercials are on. Matt is asleep on the single couch and Molly is sleeping on the couch. There are fries on the floor and Mcdonald wrappers on the table. Jon nudges Matt and he does not wake up. Jon goes to Molly and picks her up and exits the room.

EXT. SANDRA'S HOUSE – NIGHT

Jon is holding Molly, who is fast asleep, and rings the doorbell. Sandra opens the door.

JON

Looks like I'm here again.

SANDRA

On, come in.

INT. LOBBY/LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Jon walks down the stairs from the top floor entering into the lobby. Sandra takes comes clips out of her hair.

SANDRA

How is she?

JON

Fast asleep.

SANDRA

Do you want some tea?

JON

Sure.

Sandra exits the room. A faucet is heard in the distance. Jon sits down on the love seat. Sandra enters the room and sits next to Jon.

SANDRA

Tonight was fun.

Jon leans over and kisses her cheek. Sandra blushes. She leans in towards Jon and then there are hard KNOCKS at the door. Sandra gets up and opens the door to reveal Matt.

MATT

(frantically)

Sandra! I lost her. She disappeared.

INT. DREAMLAND – DAY

It is sunny and bright. Jon is in a luscious field and he runs. Sandra appears and she holds hands with Jon while they run together.

JON

I love you, Sandra!

SANDRA

I love you too, Jon!

They stand still and look into each other's eyes. They lean in towards each other and close their eyes.

SANDRA

(opens eyes)

Wait.

JON

What?

In the distance is Molly next to a tree. She waves.

JON

Molly is so cute. We would be a

great family.

Jon leans forward to kiss Sandra. She puts her hand on his face.

SANDRA

No!

JON

Why?

Jon is wearing a barrel, gloves with no fingers, and a top hat that's ripped open. The weather changes to dark and dreary. Doug appears wearing lots of bling around his neck. He puts his hand on Sandra's shoulder. She moves away from Jon. Doug and Sandra kiss passionately. Molly rides on a coyote and passes Jon.

MOLLY

You'll never finish on time.

You suck!

Doug laughs. He and Sandra enter a black hummer and drive away. Molly follows. Jon looks down and sees Herman.

HERMAN

Hey, Jon. I'm here for you.

JON

Thanks Herman.

HERMAN

When do you wanna go to the

grocery store?

JON

It's more successful there.

HERMAN

Yes, Jon, it is. Are you ready

to go?

Jon is silent and stares blankly.

HERMAN

Jon, are you ready to go?

(voice echo's while it

lips in sync to the words)

Are you ready to go?

CUT TO:

INT. JON'S OFFICE – NIGHT

Jon sleeps in his chair. The computer monitor shows a scene from the dragon's movie in an editing program. Herman is right next to Jon's face.

HERMAN

(loud)

Jon.

Jon wakes up and opens his eyes to see Herman.

JON

(shocked)

Oh my God!

(sighs)

You scared me.

HERMAN

I've been in the kitchen alone

for so long. Do you know how hard

it is for me to get up those

stairs?

Jon looks at Herman.

HERMAN

Exactly, you wouldn't know. You're

human.

Herman walks down Jon's stomach and climbs down his leg. Herman proceeds to walk towards the doorway. It stops and looks at Jon.

HERMAN

Come Jon. It is time we go take

over the grocery store.

INT. WASHROOM – NIGHT

Jon washes his face and combs his hair. He puts on a t-shirt. He looks at the bottle of pills. The label states "TAKE TWO PILLS TWICE A DAY." He grabs the bottle and starts to twist the cap. He stops, and puts the bottle back down. He walks out of the washroom.

EXT. 24 HOUR GROCERY STORE – NIGHT

Jon walks across the parking lot towards the grocery store. Herman is on Jon's shoulder.

JON

How do we do this?

HERMAN

I have a clipboard with a

checklist.

JON

Where did you get that? What's

it for?

HERMAN

For you to pretend to be a

health inspector.

JON

I don't pass for that.

Herman holds a grey jacket and a white dress shirt.

JON

You've gotta be kidding me.

INT. 24 HOUR GROCERY STORE – NIGHT

Jon walks in wearing a white dress shirt with a grey jacket overtop. Herman hides in the pocket. He passes the checkout counter and the EMPLOYEE leans over his counter and stares at the back of Jon. Jon walks into

INT. GROCERY STORE VEGETABLE AISLE – NIGHT

He stops and stares at cucumbers.

JON

I haven't had these in a long

time.

HERMAN

Have one now, Jon. This is all

free for you. Soon no one will

question your power.

Jon grabs a CUCUMBER.

CUCUMBER

(screams)

NO----

Jon drops the cucumber. Through Jon's POV it has arms and legs and it runs away.

CUCUMBER

(screams)

I want to live! I want to live!

At the end of the aisle is the employee. He sees Jon with his right hand out in front of him with a cookie on it, and a cucumber rolls across the floor.

HERMAN

Don't eat that one.

JON

I won't. It screams.

Herman climbs down Jon's leg. It walks over to the cucumber. Herman mumbles to the cucumber. Herman pat's the cucumber's back. The cucumber smiles.

JON

What just happened?

HERMAN

I told her you are the new king to

prevent humans from taking away

their family and friends. You will

only eat those who defy you.

JON

What of they all obey me? Do I

never eat?

Jon picks up Herman and places it on his shoulder.

HERMAN

(whispers)

They are lesser creatures, Jon.

You may eat them.

Close up of Jon's eyes. They are very red and huge grey circles are underneath.

CUT TO:

Clips of Jon in the grocery store:

1. He runs up one aisle, turns and runs down the next aisle.

2. He hops on a shopping cart and stands while it rolls down the aisle.

3. He knocks over tea boxes on a shelf while he runs.

4. He puts chocolate milk into a shopping basket casually when the employee watches him in the distance.

5. He has his mouth open underneath the bulk candy dispenser. He opens the latch and candy pours out.

6. He sits on the ground in the vegetable aisle and has tea with the cucumber, a carrot, broccoli, eggplant, and a PEA. 7. He pours chocolate milk into a cup of tea.

PEA

Thank you.

8. Jon walks into the bakery. The lights dim. Disco lights are on. A disco ball comes down from the ceiling. Disco music plays. Jon makes a dance pose and all the vegetables, baked goods, juices, etc., appear. They all have faces and limbs. They all dance. The employee walks by the bakery and watches. He sees Jon twirl his grey coat above his head. There are groceries scattered all over the bakery.

CUT TO:

INT. GROCERY STORE CHECKOUT COUNTER – NIGHT

Jon walks up to the check-out counter.

EMPLOYEE

Are you okay?

JON

No. I need your new cookie mix

discontinued.

EMPLOYEE

And who authorized that?

JON

My supervisor.

EMPLOYEE

You can't fool me. You were here

a few days ago.

JON

I'm on duty now.

EMPLOYEE

This late at night?

JON

It's a flexible schedule.

There is a pause. His eyes get shifty.

JON

Just pass the message along,

alright?

EMPLOYEE

Oh, I will.

JON

Thanks.

Jon makes a giant checkmark onto his checklist and hands it to the employee. Jon exits the grocery store.

INT. JON'S BEDROOM – NOON

Jon wakes up and sits upright in his bed. He looks worse from the day before. His hair is up. Matt walks in from the hallway and leans on the doorway.

MATT

Dude, your house is a total mess.

JON

How'd you get in here?

MATT

The front door.

Jon rubs his eyes.

MATT

It was unlocked.

Jon looks frantically around his room worried.

JON

Herman? Herman?

MATT

Who's Herman?

JON

He's my new friend.

MATT

Oh yeah, right. You mentioned

him before. Awesome, he should

come to the party too.

JON

If I can find him.

MATT

(yells)

Herman. Get in here.

JON

(yells)

Herman.

Matt goes over to the plate on the floor next to the bed and picks it up.

MATT

Can I have this?

JON

(excitedly)

Herman.

Matt looks confused and hands the plate to Jon.

MATT

Have you been taking your meds?

JON

I don't need them.

MATT

Right. Have a shower and I'll

meet you downstairs.

INT. JON'S KITCHEN – DAY

Matt puts dishes into the dishwasher. Jon enters the kitchen.

JON

So, what are we doing today?

MATT

How can you forget? We're getting

ready for the house party.

JON

Oh yeah. Does it have to be here?

MATT

Yes. Don't question anymore.

EXT. JON'S HOUSE – DAY

Matt walks down the porch steps while Jon locks the front door. Molly is at Sandra's front lawn. She sees the two men exit the house and runs over.

MOLLY

Hi.

MATT

Hey, Molly.

Molly blows some bubbles. Jon walks on over.

MOLLY

Whatcha up to?

MATT

We're gonna get ready for a party

in a few days.

Molly and Matt high five.

MOLLY

Can I come?

MATT

Sorry little lady, this is for

grownups only.

MOLLY

Awe. No fair.

JON

You can come to the mall with us.

MOLLY

Really? What about stupid Herman?

JON

He's not stupid. And he's not

coming.

MOLLY

Okay. Lemme ask mom.

Molly gives her bottle of bubbles to Matt and runs back to Sandra's and enters the house.

MATT

Oh, I get it. It's a game. I was

worried about you for a second

about this Herman.

Jon stares at Matt and says nothing. Molly comes back out of Sandra's house with Sandra.

JON

Hey, Sandra.

SANDRA

I hear you're taking Molly to the

mall.

JON

Yeah. Do you wanna come too?

MOLLY

Yeah mommy!

SANDRA

I got a photo shoot soon. Sorry.

Jon runs over to Sandra. He puts his hand on Molly's head.

JON

Hey, umm... do you... ummm... want to

have dinner with me tonight?

SANDRA

Yeah, sure. We haven't really

talked and hung out for a long

time.

JON

Doug won't mind?

SANDRA

You're my friend. He can't keep

me from having a social life.

JON

See you tonight.

Jon picks up Molly and puts her on his shoulders.

MOLLY

Wee! See you mommy!

Sandra waves. Jon walks over to Matt. Matt is blowing bubbles.

INT. PARTY SUPPLIES STORE – DAY

Jon, Molly, and Matt enter the party supplies store and Molly runs towards a bin of stuffed toys.

MOLLY

Are you sure this is a party for

grownups?

JON

Yes.

MOLLY

Sure doesn't seem like it.

JON

We're not going to buy stuffed

toys.

(pause)

How about this, you can pick out

anything in this store.

MOLLY

Really?

JON

Really.

Molly cheers and runs off to another bin of toys. Jon's POV: Jon looks down at the bin below him. A STUFFED BEAR starts moving. It looks up.

STUFFED BEAR

Hey, Jon.

JON

How do you know my name?

STUFFED BEAR

The vegetables are yakkers, ya

know?

JON

But, the grocery store isn't

attached to the mall.

STUFFED BEAR

People still pass through here.

MATT (O.S.)

Hey, c'mere.

Jon walks away from bin slowly.

STUFFED BEAR

Hey, why don't you take over this

place! Don't back away! You can

help us too!

Jon turns around. End Jon's POV. He walks towards Matt.

MATT

(points to sign)

What do you think if we hire a DJ?

The sign indicates "We do DJ Rentals!" and has prices listed.

JON

That's pricey. Renting the

speakers and hooking it up to my

laptop would be better. No DJ

needed. Just play the tracks.

MATT

Woah, technicalities. That's why

you're the editor man. Okay, we

rent the speakers. Anything else?

JON

Alcohol. Lots of it.

MATT

Dude, we're gonna get hammered.

I should call up our old college

buddies.

JON

You never went to college.

MATT

But, we went to a lot of parties!

Molly walks up next to Jon and Matt.

MATT

Hey, whatcha got there?

MOLLY

It's an art kit.

(to Jon)

You said I can pick out anything

from the store.

JON

Yup.

MATT

Okay, let's rent this!

CUT TO:

INT. MALL -- FOOD COURT – DAY

The three are sitting and eating food. Around them are over 10 bags of alcohol and a giant keg of beer. Matt and Molly high five.

JON (V.O.)

Little does Matt know the alcohol

is for me and hopefully I won't

seem odd talking to myself all

the time.

A WITCH then appears behind Matt. She cackles. Jon glares at her. Matt and Molly do not hear or see the witch.

JON (V.O.)

Hey witch!

The witch looks up.

JON (V.O.)

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

The witch wiggles her fingers around Matt's head.

JON (V.O.)

Keep away from my friend.

Jon makes a shooing motion with his hands.

WITCH

(manly low voice)

Oh fine. You're no fun.

The witch walks away.

MOLLY

Can I have ice cream?

JON

Sure, on the way back.

INT. JON'S HOUSE – DAY

Jon opens the front door and enters the house. Molly and Matt follow. The door closes. They put their bags onto the floor.

The DOORBELL RINGS. Jon opens the door to reveal a DELIVERY MAN. He's holding a clipboard and has a package on the ground.

DELIVERY MAN

Hello, I have a package for Jon

Castillo.

JON

That's me.

The Delivery Man hands his clipboard to Jon.

DELIVERY MAN

Sign here.

Jon signs.

DELIVERY MAN

Thank you!

He takes the clipboard back and hands the package to Jon. The Delivery Man walks halfway onto the pathway and then stops. He is then beamed up into a bright light. Jon closes the door. The package has a label "Space Delivery."

MATT

Who was it?

Jon

Delivery guy.

Jon opens the package. He pulls out flighlight slippers. Molly runs over.

MOLLY

Cool.

MATT

Why did you buy it?

JON

Saw it on the shopping network.

Molly turns a switch on the slipper and light comes out of the toe of it.

JON

Might come in handy. Lady on the

show said it was a must have and

can prevent tripping.

They walk into

JON'S KITCHEN

Jon grabs the slipper from Molly.

JON

It's not a toy Molly. It's adult

stuff.

Molly looks saddened.

MOLLY

Can we do something fun?

MATT

We're gonna clear out space for

the party.

MOLLY

No not that.

JON

Then what?

Jon sits down on the couch in the living room.

MOLLY

We still haven't edited the rest

of the movie.

MATT

You didn't finish yet? I thought

you were done?

JON

Ignore her. She's delusional.

MOLLY

You meanie.

JON

Go sit in a corner or something.

Molly goes to the plate in the living room and grabs it.

MOLLY

I have Herman.

JON

That's not him.

Molly opens her mouth. She moves the cookie to her mouth.

JON

(franticly)

Hey. Stop that.

Jon gets up and Molly runs to Matt in the kitchen.

MOLLY

He didn't finish editing, Matt.

JON

She lies!

Jon runs into the kitchen.

JON

Do you want the slippers? Is

that it?

HERMAN

Help me Jon! She's crazy.

MATT

Dude, you go edit the movie. I'll

go set up.

MOLLY

I just want to have fun with

you Jon, like always. You've

become weird.

Molly opens the patio door and runs...

OUTSIDE

She climbs onto the fence and sits. Jon runs outside, frantically.

Molly puts the cookie into her mouth and bites a bit of it.

HERMAN

(horrific scream)

AAHHHH-----

Jon runs to the fence.

JON

(yells)

Herman!

Molly finishes off the cookie. Jon pushes Molly off the fence and she lands on her side. Cries are heard and Sandra is seen coming out of her backyard patio.

SANDRA

(yells)

Molly.

Sandra goes over to the fallen Molly and picks her up. There are scratches on her and she is a bit dirty. Molly is crying.

SANDRA (to Jon)

What's the matter with you?

Sandra turns around and enters her house. Jon looks shocked and looks at his hands. Matt exits the patio door.

MATT

You royally screwed up.

JON'S BEDROOM – AFTERNOON

Jon wakes up. There are sleeping pills on the counter. Matt is sleeping on the floor. Jon pushes Matt with his foot.

JON

(kicking Matt)

Hey... hey wake up.

Matt turns and looks at Jon.

MATT

I'm awake. What do you want?

JON

Hey did you give me these?

Jon grabs the pills from the counter and shows them to Matt. He nods.

JON

Man, I don't trust these

things.

MATT

Then why carry it around? I

put them in your glass last

night. You'll never get

anything finished if you don't

properly sleep.

Matt gets up and looks at the clock.

MATT

Holy crap! I'm late for work.

JON

Could you drop me off at the

grocery store on your way?

MATT

Sure. Buy chicken wings. I

end at four.

INT. 24-HOUR GROCERY STORE – AFTERNOON

Jon walks in and grabs a basket. He walks past the cashiers, CARMEN and KELLY, and goes into the aisle. Carmen looks at a paper on her counter. CLOSE ON the paper to show a picture of Jon and a line that states, "IF YOU SEE HIM, CALL MANAGEMENT."

CARMEN

Hey Kelly, did you see the

notice from yesterday?

KELLY

Yeah. This guy must've done

something weird, Carmen.

CARMEN

Nothing criminal?

KELLY

Well if it was criminal, it

would say to contact security.

CARMEN

Gotcha.

IN THE VEGETABLE AISLE

Jon looks at the cucumbers. He picks it up.

JON

Hey. Can you hear me?

Jon holds onto the cucumber and walks into the

SNACKS AISLE

Jon grabs a few containers of salsa dip and puts them into the basket.

JON (to cucumber)

Are you alive? Can you hear me?

At the end of the aisle Carmen enters and stops near the chips.

JON

Hey. Sorry Herman isn't here.

I just wanted to say I can't be

king. Not without Herman.

CARMEN (to Jon)

Excuse me sir, did you need help

finding something?

Jon looks up. And shakes his head 'no.' Carmen's eyes go wide and she grabs the chips and speedily walks out the way she came.

Jon exits at the other end of the aisle and enters the

MEATS SECTION

Jon grabs a few containers of hot chicken wings and puts them into his basket.

A man in his forties, NEIL, wearing a dress shirt, tie, and nice pants. He has a nametag on.

NEIL

Hello sir, my name is Neil and

I am the manager of this store.

Jon looks at Neil and puts the cucumber down into the meats.

NEIL

For the past week you've been

coming here at nights acting

strangely and making a mess at

one point.

Neil grabs the cucumber out from the meats display.

JON

I don't want to be king anymore.

You don't have to worry.

NEIL

I don't follow. Are you done

your shopping for today?

Jon nods. Neil escorts him out to the

CHECKOUT COUNTER

Carmen and Kelly both look at Neil walking alongside Jon. Jon places his groceries at the counter where Kelly is. She scans his items.

KELLY

That'll be $24.55.

Jon feels his pockets. And pulls out nothing.

JON

Looks like I'll have to get it

next time.

Jon exits the doors empty handed.

CARMEN (to Kelly)

That guy was a bit weird. He was

talking to a cucumber.

SIDEROAD OF CITY AREA – AFTERNOON

Jon is walking along the sidewalk. Traffic on the street is not heavily busy. A SILVER MUSTANG slows down near Jon. The passenger's window rolls down to reveal Sandra in the driver's seat. The car slowly drives along the curb.

SANDRA

Walking home?

Jon nods.

SANDRA

I know you didn't mean what you

Did, so I'll give you a ride if

You tell me one thing?

Jon looks over with a glazed look.

SANDRA

How did you feel when you

Pushed her?

Jon looks at Sandra with almost tears to his eyes.

JON

I feel so horrible Sandra, truly.

I feel like I failed as a father?

SANDRA

Is that what you think? Get in.

Jon gets into the car.

INT. SILVER MUSTANG

Jon sits in the passenger's seat and buckles up. Sandra looks at Jon.

SANDRA

You're not her father. She knows

that.

JON

I wish I was. I wish I was more

Part of your life back then.

SANDRA

You were Jon, you still are.

Sandra accelerates and drives on the road.

JON

(pause)

Where are we going?

SANDRA

It's 2:30. Molly ends school

Soon.

JON

She probably hates me.

Jon turns the radio on. Sandra's cell phone rings. Her car stops at the light. She puts her hand in her purse and pulls out the phone and hits a button.

SANDRA

Hello?

SPLIT SCREEN of

TOP SCREEN: INT. SILVER MUSTANG

Where Sandra is driving with Jon and

BOTTOM SCREEN: INT. WAREHOUSE/FILM SET

Where Doug is in a chair and on his cell phone.

DOUG

Hey sweetstuff, how've ya been?

SANDRA

Pretty good, just off to pick up

Molly.

DOUG

I just wanted to take up the offer

Of taking you out to dinner.

Sandra accelerates the car. She hands the phone to Jon.

JON

Hi, Sandra's busy right now.

DOUG

Jon?

Jon looks shocked.

DOUG

Jon, is that you? Why are you in

the car with Sandra?

Sandra moans.

DOUG

What's going on?

On the top screen there is construction on the road and there are detour signs. The music on the radio changes to something upbeat and sexy.

JON

Nothing, just detouring.

DOUG

Are you two really on the road

to pick up Molly?

SANDRA

(excitedly)

Yes!

Sandra turns into a side street that has the sign "QUICK ROUTE."

DOUG

I'm coming over, now.

The phone call ends.

SPLIT SCREEN ENDS.

SANDRA

What did he have to say?

JON

He said he's coming over to your

Place.

SANDRA

I'm gonna try and work it with

Him.

JON

You were having troubles?

SANDRA

Yeah. More like doubts, but he

Keeps Molly outta harm so he's a

Good guy.

SCHOOL PARKING LOT

The car is parked at a school parking lot. Molly enters the backseat.

MOLLY

Oh, it's you.

JON

I'm sorry Molly. I didn't mean it.

I feel like a bully. I don't want

you both to leave me.

SANDRA

We're not leaving anywhere.

Sandra starts the car. And begins to drive onto the road.

INT. ROAD

Sandra is driving through the city. Jon sits next to her and Molly is in the back.

JON

Yes you are. And eventually

You'll marry Doug.

MOLLY

You're getting married?

SANDRA

No, I'm not.

Molly begins to cry.

JON

I love you Sandra, I always have.

Doug's an ass and he's making me

miserable. He'll make you miserable

too.

MOLLY

(crying)

I don't wanna be miserable.

SANDRA

(yelling)

Be quiet!

Jon

You shouldn't be with him if you

Had doubts.

SANDRA

It went away after you pushed

Molly over the fence. You need to

get well Jon. I care about you,

but not if you're going to hurt

her.

JON

(shocked)

I told you I was sorry.

Sandra stops the car.

SANDRA

Get out.

Jon gets out of the car.

INT. JON'S HOUSE – DAY

Matt is organizing the main floor and setting up speakers. Jon walks through the front door.

MATT

Hey. Your sweat reeks. Go shower.

Joes goes upstairs.

MATT

Oh, and I picked up your glasses.

They called while you were gone.

Dude, it's almost 5PM and you

Bought nothing from the store?

JON (O.S.)

I forgot my wallet.

MATT

Oh, Doug came by. He's gonna pick

up the movie tomorrow night.

(pause)

He looked pissed by the way.

(pause and then loudly)

Hey. Are you listening to me?

Upstairs, the SHOWER turns on.

INT. JON'S LIVING ROOM – 10PM

Music is playing LOUDLY and PEOPLE crowd the place. Jon is talking to SHAWN, approximately the same age as Jon.

SHAWN

Dude, how've you been? Still

Editing movies?

JON

Yeah, you?

SHAWN

After college I worked on

animating for video games. It's

pretty cool.

JON

Glad you came tonight. You should

Come to my premiere.

Matt cuts in between them with a woman, DEBBIE. She is a hot red head.

MATT

Yeah, he makes some pretty wicked

animations. I heard this one is

gonna kill the rest.

SHAWN

Matt?

(happily)

How are you?

MATT

Good, good. I'd like to introduce

to you, Debbie. This is Jon and

Shawn.

DEBBIE

Rhyming names you boys have there.

Jon shakes her hand.

JON

A pleasure to meet you. Would

you like a drink?

DEBBIE

Sure.

Debbie is chatting with Shawn as Jon goes off to the kitchen. While Jon passes by people, many voices are heard saying "Hey Jon."

INT. KITCHEN

The clocks indicate a little after 10PM. In the corner there is Teen Boy making out with GOTH GIRL. Jon enters the kitchen and grabs some plastic cups from the table and turns them upright. He turns to look at the couple.

JON

Hey... you're that boy who was on

my lawn a few days ago who got

dumped.

GOTH GIRL

I thought you were taken?

(pushes Teen Boy away)

This is no fun.

Goth Girl grabs a bottle of wine off the table and puts it to her lips as she walks out.

TEEN BOY

Argh! I'll never get laid.

JON

Puberty's tough.

Teen Boy exits the scene. Jon mixes a vodka and sprite.

LOBBY

Matt is upstairs and he's wearing a grass skirt. He is visible to all those below.

MATT

(yelling)

I'm like to present to you my

greatest friend.

KITCHEN

Jon rushes out. He has a huge smile on his face and enters the ...

LOBBY

The music turns down. Matt raises his hands.

MATT

(yelling)

I present... my greatest... the most

amusing... mister Monkey!

The monkey comes out from behind Matt. The crowd cheers.

MATT

This party's gonna rock!

Jon is surprised. He runs to the stairs and goes to Matt.

JON

What the hell is the monkey doing

here?

MATT

Dude, don't discriminate. We

accept all.

The monkey looks at Jon.

JON (to monkey)

(waves)

Hi.

The monkey waves back.

MATT

Good. Now lets party.

LIVING ROOM – 1 AM

The clock indicates the time. People are drinking and dancing. The monkey sits on the couch and has glasses on. WOMAN and BABYSITTER sit on either side of the monkey. They giggle. They are very drunk. The monkey makes some sounds. They are very touchy.

BABYSITTER

Your glasses are so hot.

WOMAN

You're so manly with all that

hair.

BABYSITTER

Very manly.

Matt walks by the couch. He pulls the glasses off the monkey's face.

MATT

(yells)

Hey Jon, I found your glasses.

Jon walks by and grabs them.

JON'S POV

Jon puts the glasses on and the vision gets sharper.

JON

These are great.

He looks around the room. He spots Molly near the kitchen under a table.

End Jon's POV.

Jon goes near the kitchen. He pokes his head...

UNDER THE TABLE

Molly sits while holding her legs.

JON

Why are you here?

MOLLY

Do you still like me?

JON

Yeah.

MOLLY

Stop mom from marrying Doug?

Jon raises an eyebrow.

JON

Are they getting married?

MOLLY

They went out on a date. Mom's

been seeing him more than you.

JON

You never answered my question.

Why are you here?

Matt pokes his head under the table.

MATT

(excited)

Molly. I met your babysitter.

she's hot and she's next to the

monkey. Come meet him.

Matt grabs Molly out from the table.

LIVING ROOM

The monkey and the two women are drinking on the couch. Molly sits on the lap of her babysitter. Molly is in awe while looking at the monkey. Matt is in the background talking to other PARTY GUESTS. Jon is near the window looking outside often. Debbie walks near Jon.

DEBBIE

What'cha lookin at?

JON

Keeping an eye out for that girls

mom.

Jon directs his head to Molly. Debbie puts her hand on Jon's arm.

DEBBIE

You're not her babysitter. We

Should move away so you don't have

to worry.

Jon grabs a beer bottle off a window ledge and looks out the window again.

A cell phone rings and the babysitter puls out a cell phone from her pocket. She leaves off scene.

DEBBIE

Hey let's go upstairs.

Debbie continues to caress Jon's arm. Jon looks at Matt in the distance. Matt mouths the word 'yeah' and gives a thumbs up to Jon.

JON

Sure.

He grabs his beer bottle and drinks it while they leave the scene. The babysitter re-enters the room. She walks on over to Matt. Her hand covers the receiver of the phone.

BABYSITTER (to Matt)

Hey, do you live here?

MATT

Sometimes.

BABYSITTER

Cool. Could you drop off Molly at

home soon? I have to go, it's an

emergency.

MATT

Alright.

BABYSITTER (to phone)

Yeah, your neighbour is watching

her. I'm sorry to bother you. Bye.

The babysitter clicks her phone shut.

BABYSITTER (to Matt)

My rides here, adios!

The babysitter leaves the scene.

Molly is sitting next to the monkey where the babysitter previously was.

WOMAN

Hey little girl. Do you like

slushies?

MOLLY

Yeah.

The woman hands a margarita to Molly.

WOMAN

This is a strawberry margarita.

You'll like it.

Molly takes the drink and sips it. She then makes a disgusted face.

WOMAN

Give it a few more sips and you

won't notice that.

JON'S BEDROOM

Jon and Debbie sit on his bed. He has red lipstick on his face.

JON

It's like she doesn't even want

to be with me.

DEBBIE

That's not true. Why would she

invite you out to dinner?

JON

Good point. Could you hand me that

box of tissues?

Debbie grabs the box of tissues off the end table and hands it to Jon.

DEBBIE

Look, I'm gonna go back downstairs.

It was nice meeting you.

Debbie gets off the bed and leaves while Jon blows his nose.

LOBBY

Jon walks down the stairs. Sandra opens the front door. She looks furious. Doug walks in as well.

SANDRA

Where's my daughter?

Sandra walks into the...

LIVING ROOM

She sees Molly drinking a margarita and dancing with some party guests. Sandra goes over to Molly. Takes the drink out of her hand and picks her up. She walks toward the hallway and puts the drink down on a side table. She enters the...

LOBBY

And sees Jon still standing on the stairs.

SANDRA

(angrily)

You're really pushing it this time.

She exits the house and slams the door shut. Jon looks at Doug.

JON

Why aren't you going with her?

DOUG

We broke up.

CUT TO:

JON'S LIVING ROOM – MORNING

Jon wakes up from the couch. Some party guests are sleeping on the floor and around the room. Shawn enters the living room from the kitchen. He waves at Jon while holding a cup of coffee.

JON

Did you make a few cups?

SHAWN

Yeah, there's a hot pot in the

kitchen.

JON

Crazy night.

SHAWN

Yeah. It was good until some guy

showed up and took a girl I liked.

JON

Who was she?

SHAWN

The girl Matt introduced to us,

Debbie. We talked for a bit, then

after when I tried to find her she

was with some buff guy.

JON

Meet any others?

SHAWN

Yeah, a really drunk woman, but

She ended up with the monkey.

JON

I wonder if it's still here?

SHAWN

No, it's gone. Matt had to drop it

off before the zoo opened.

Jon gets up and enters the...

KITCHEN

He pouts himself a cup of coffee. At the window ledge there is a bright light and the image of Herman appears.

JON

Herman? Is that you?

HERMAN

You don't need to worry about me,

Jon.

Jon

But you left. Nothing talks anymore.

HERMAN

It's alright. I was wrong about

success. Do what makes you happy.

JON

You made me happy.

HERMAN

Make some cookies then.

Herman fades into the bright light.

HERMAN

Goodbye Jon.

EXT. SANDRA'S HOUSE – MORNING

Jon has a plate of cookies. He stands outside Sandra's front door and rings the doorbell. Sandra opens the door.

SANDRA

Nice glasses.

JON

Thanks. Hey, um... I don't know what

Happened, but

(holds up plate)

these are for Molly. I know she

likes them. They don't have

raisins.

Sandra takes the plate.

SANDRA

Matt called. Said something about

The babysitter telling him she left

and you didn't know.

JON

So we're good then!

SANDRA

No. You allowed her to be there.

Jon is speechless.

SANDRA

I'll think on it.

Sandra slowly closes the door.

JON

(loudly)

But, I need to finish the movie.

Molly's been bugging me to finish.

I have until 8 P.M.

Sandra closes the door.

Jon walks off Sandra's property and goes over to ...

EXT. JON'S HOUSE

He walks up the path and sees some party guests leave. On named SILLY BILLY has a clown hat on.

PARTY GUESTS

By Jon.

JON

Bye Milly, Tommy, Jimmy, Jilly,

and Silly Billy.

Shawn exits the front door.

SHAWN

I'm the last one out. See ya.

Jon waves and enters his house.

CUT TO:

JON'S OFFICE – LATE MORNING

Jon is working at the computer. On the screen shows an intense battle between two dragons. He clicks the computer's mouse and the scene stops. He adds in some more graphics. Molly enters the office.

MOLLY

Hi.

JON

(excitedly)

Molly. I'm sorry.

He gets up from his chair and gives Molly a hug.

MOLLY

Mom said I could come over. Said

You needed my help.

JON

Yes. I like your input.

MOLLY

I'm a genius.

JON

Yes, you're a genius.

MOLLY

Thanks for the cookies.

JON

Okay, enough heart to heart.

(loudly)

Let's do this!

Time is sped up to have a seven hours pass in the length of one minute. The scene consists of:

1. Both of them working

2. Lounging

3. Entering and leaving at times

4. Molly playing with blocks while Jon works at the computer.

5. Jon playing with blocks while Molly works at the computer.

JON'S OFFICE – EVENING

Molly lays on the ground sleeping. Jon is still working at the computer. The doorbell rings. Jon exits the office.

CUT TO:

LOBBY

Jon opens the front door to reveal Sandra. She has a plastic bag in her hand.

SANDRA

Got you both some dinner.

JON

Thanks.

Sandra enters the house. They both go upstairs and soon enter the...

OFFICE

Molly is still sleeping on the floor. Sandra sits on the ground next to Molly. Jon sits on the ground facing her.

JON

You know, you can just enter the

house like Molly does.

SANDRA

Molly doesn't know better.

JON

Still like me?

SANDRA

Give me some time. You're looking

better though.

Sandra pulls out a sandwich from the plastic bag and gives it to Jon.

JON

Wanna watch it?

He directs his face to the computer.

SANDRA

Sure.

Jon gets up. Molly wakes up. She rubs her eyes and Sandra give her a sandwich. Jon plays the movie.

Scenes from the movie are shown displaying:

1. A MYSTICAL WOMAN with POWERS next to a FELLOW.

2. Fellow killed by a DRAGON.

3. A MAN TRANSFORMING into a dragon.

4. Woman and man smiling together.

5. Woman sees man turn into dragon. She is shocked

6. In a field with an ANGRY MOB of people.

MAN

I'm good now thanks to you.

MYSTICAL WOMAN

(crying)

You lied to me.

ANGRY MOB

Kill him or we will rid of you

both!

MAN

(yelling)

Leave her alone.

The man then transforms into a dragon.

  1. The woman kills the dragon and she cries and then kills herself.

END COMPUTER MOVIE.

SANDRA

Kinda depressing. Like Romeo and

Juliette. But overall... intense.

MOLLY

I helped mom.

SANDRA

And a good job you did.

(to Jon)

I was offered by Doug to play that

role awhile ago.

JON

I knew about that. Why didn't you

take it?

SANDRA

If I overdo my career, Molly would

live in a house surrounded by

parazzi and never have a normal

childhood. And Doug seemed to want

a somewhat known actress over a

newbie. He said it would help the

films business.

JON

So you're saying he was trying to

use you?

Sandra nods.

Jon burns the movie onto a DVD. He puts some papers, a flash drive, and the DVD into a big envelope. The doorbell rings. Jon looks at the clock. It indicates 8 o'clock.

CUT TO:

EXT. JON'S HOUSE

Doug is at the front door. Jon opens the door.

DOUG

UI have something to tell you.

JON

Don't worry, it's finished.

DOUG

(shocked)

Wow. That's what I had to tell you.

(sighing)

I lied. The deadline never changed.

JON

I figured.

DOUG

How?

JON

Okay I didn't know. But, no one

else called me about edits. It

seemed strange.

DOUG

Then why still finish it?

JON

My mortgage payments were late. An

early showing would help.

DOUG

This isn't a B-rated movie this

time. It'll help you.

Doug gets off the porch and gets into his car. He leaves. Jon closes the door.

CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT

Doors open into a theatre lobby. An USHER welcomes PEOPLE to the theatre. Jon stands alone waiting.

Doug enters the scene with Debbie.

DOUG

Still waiting?

JON

She'll come.

DOUG

Hope so. You deserve it.

DEBBIE

See ya Jon.

Doug and Debbie leave the scene. Jon looks at his watch. Sandra and Molly enter thought the theatre doors.

SANDRA

Waiting for us?

JON

Well hello my ladies. Glad you

came to the show.

SANDRA

Of course I'd come to my

boyfriends screening.

Sandra kisses Jon.

They all hold hands with Molly in between them. They walk to the theatre.

JON

Molly, I put a 'special thanks'

to you in it.

MOLLY

(excitedly)

Really? Cool.

JON

It is cool. This is gonna be good.

Fade to black.

[CREDITS SCROLL and then carry on to side of screen]

FADE IN:

EXT. BANK – DAY

Alarm rings. Robber 1 and Robber 2 exit a bank with money bags in their arms. They have glasses on.

ROBBER 1

(excitedly)

This is awesome.

ROBBER 2

(yelling)

Woo---

Three POLICE OFFICERS are running after them.

CUT TO:

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM

A DETECTIVE walks around a table. Dr. Oetker sits at a chair. The detective slams his hand on the table.

DR. OETKER

I swear. I have nothing to do

with them. I have never seen those

two men in my life.

DETECTIVE

Don't lie to me Dr. Jimmy.

DR. OETKER

My name is doctor Oetker.

DETECTIVE

A name won't do you any good doctor.

We have you photo.

The detective opens a folder and shows a photo of Dr. Jimmy.

DR. OETKER

(points to photo)

That's Dr. Jimmy. I just look like

him.

The detective shows a security tape and puts I into a VCR player.

The television displays in black and white:

INT. BANK – Camera view looking down

Robber 1 and Robber 2 are holding guns at TELLERS.

ROBBER 2

Dr. Jimmy is awesome!

End tape.

FADE OUT.
Thanks for reading my e-book!

I write a lot and having to go through all my work took some time. I left out some really good ones, but I didn't want to overwhelm this thing going into a bazillion pages!

