Peach isn't a human
That's right your favorite princess isn't
who she seems to be.
Who is this, Princess Peach??
IF THAT EVEN IS HER REAL NAME.
But what am i talking about.
Other than corrupt monarchical rulers Lying
to your face about their past.
No!
I'm talking about the New Super Mario bros
U deluxe edition for Nintendo switch.
I know catchy title for a game.
Recently in the direct, Nintendo gave us a
little teaser for new power ups and characters
your able to play as in the game.
As it is the deluxe edition so it better add
some stuff!
One of the more interesting this is the addition
of toadette and not captain toad.
Really missing a good pr crossover here Nintendo.
I mean who wants to play as the yellow toad?
Why remove the blue and obviously superior
toad for the lameo color??
anyways back to toadette.
It seems that Nintendo love to mess up their
own canon just for a few giggles- and market
research.
but they seem to have added a toadette only
power up.
Toadette when getting this new power up in
the new super Mario bros u deluxe is able
to transform into pechette.
Who looks like a somewhat smaller version
of peach.
There are a few other differences too though,
uhh lets see.
Eye color is grey instead of a blue.
Her hair is in two braids much like toadettes
braids.
And her dress is quite different.
With a large bow and ruffles along with large
bulbous brown shoes.
And to top it all off, literally, her crown
is different.
So with this information my head begins swirling
with ideas, wondering what the explanation
will be.
Because I love doing that.
And really thats what most people love, I
mean the number one fear is the fear of the
unknown.
AAAAAAAAAAA
So Im here to help you sleep at night.
By which I mean, give you a possible answer
to this query.
A hypothesis, a theory.
I mean, after all, this new info means that
Peach could very well just be a toad with
a crown mushroom, also, thats what I'm gonna
call it from now on to clear things up.
This power mushroom looks like a pink mushroom
inside what looks to be a cartoony version
of the princess crown.
I mean why does everything have to have eyes
these days.
I mean peach is human right.
Like she looks like one.
And i mean i know humans, Like, I'm a human,
100 percent…
...And peach looks human to me..
… .... But what actual evidence do we have
that peach is human....? hmm?
In Mario's case we know he’s from Brooklyn.
Like our Brooklyn from earth, its cannon,
...whatever Mario canon means these days.
But peach… well we don't really know much
about her backstory do we?
We don’t know whether or not her father
is human
as we never really see the king of the mushroom
kingdom, as in at all, he’s only alluded
to… at least as far as games and even their
manuals go.
We do however see she has a very human looking
grandmother.
But on the other side of the coin we see she
also has a very toad grandmother.
So perhaps she is part human part toad.
Thus making her royalty over the kingdom.
It’s very rare to have an outsider be the
ruler of a country after all, even more so
if they are different species entirely.
the only exception to this being US Presidents
since Roosevelt.
So Could she actually be a toad?
But due to being royalty they give her the
crown, And doing so makes her a human??
Was she at one point just a regular old toad
who inherited the crown?
Heck could she actually just be democratically
elected and then they swap the crown around?
...I feel like it could very well be possible
that she was, and even still is, actually
a toad!
(JOKE FAN) But Lockstin what about baby peach.
Obviously a human baby...
See?
your theory is bumpkis.
Haha!
I have contributed so much to society, by
proving you wrong with a mere comment!
Well hang on!
COUNTER POINT!
peach always wears her crown, even during
sports, possibly because she needs to keep
it on like the super crown power up.
Heck even baby peach has a lil' ol' crown.
The one, and only time she is not wearing
her crown is in Mario Odyssey, which has three
possible explanations!
One, this is a different Mario timeline, the
3d Mario timeline where-in she is human all
the way.
Two!
Since we see her with Tiara the whole time,
perhaps this power was infused into Tiara
and Peach only needs to be close to her for
it to work.
And Three!
Odyssey is sar far along in the timeline that
Peach has almost sort of, absorbed this mushrooms
power infinitely.
I mean look at Mario in Odyssey compared to
new super Mario bros U deluxe! he cant get
small or loose his power mushroom in odyssey.
So yes, Im really just gonna explain it away
by saying that they were exposed to the power
for too long, that they lost the ability to
revert back to their un-powered states.
This is their new normal… yeah.
This brings us to another point.
Why would mushrooms even give power in the
first place?
I mean yes eating things gives you the chemical
power to run the bio generator in your body,
but not extreme growth! or turning into a
human from a weird toad person!
Peachette is weird.
So…
Is it
possible toads are like the smurfs, a society
with few females, primarily ruled over by
one alpha, Peach and one omega toadette.
Presumably the omega is there to take over
if the alpha perishes.
so If we look at the smurfs for comparison,
they have very few females, and in fact only
in the Hanna Barbera cartoon do we see the
other two females.
A child-esk kid sister character and a loving
old grandmother figure---Who only really show
up for plot points or toward the end of the
shows life.
But unlike the smurfs... it seems that toadette
isn't the ONLY female toad... well that is
until recently.
I mean this new power and lore explanation
may be why the more recent paper Mario games
have been slowly burying individual female
toads.
Almost like they are trying to fix their lore
into a congruent world.
Ha Nintendo canon is never easy.
And fixing already made canon is tough, just
look at the mess that's Metroid Other M.
But why would a species benefit from being
male dominated?, in terms of numbers that
is.
well Normally with the males you get more
testosterone.
Which helps build muscle and aggression, and
other strength related attributes.
And this generally leads to better survivability.
But when it's such a DRASTIC difference in
ratios... there is normally another reason….
Hmm…. could toads be like bees?
In honeybees… the only thing keeping a female
bee from becoming a queen is its diet while
a larvae.
Royal jelly could really just be the super
crown mushroom power up but for bees.
So these specially pampered princess toads
get the crown early in life, like bee larvae,
and it helps start her super fast metamorphosis
to her becoming human-esc.
And it being a power-up really just makes
it easy, if peach dies, just plot the crown
on another female toad.
It’s just like how honeybees will start
to form a new queen when their current one
is getting weaker or just not performing up
to snuff.
So, Peach or princess TOADstool may actually
be a title given to the dominant female.
Hence toadette getting the name PEACHette.
It’s Much like how toad is just called toad.
Its his job or place in society.
He isnt an individual, he is just a toad.
… so sad…
...and my final theory is that Maybe people
wanted to play as peach but she is kidnapped
so Nintendo, the market research geniuses
that they are, gave us, the player, a proxy
to fill the cute peachy void we have while
playing super Mario bros u deluxe on the Nintendo
switch system.
Side note every time i hear a Nintendo rep
talk about a game they almost have to say
“On the Nintendo switch” after the title
Like every time no joke.
I recently met up with a bunch of them, its
true.
Anyways back to Nintendo's changing of the
game lore just to add a playable female character.
So Pechette fills that role pretty well, and
she, being a peach clone character, means
that “PEACH” could still be played, and
the real Peach can still play the damsel in
distress, as to not change the all important
story.
Plus Hey why should she work she is royalty
after all.
It's totally plausible.
I mean If we look at these old images from
the Super Mario bros strategy guide,
-which is likely not canon, but you know…
...we can see that the princess looked rather
different... and her crown look a lot more
like the new power up.
In Fact the power up looks very similar to
the king of the mushroom kingdom’s crown.
…I mean look at them
Even the toads here!
They look like humans!
Real life humans with a mild theme of mushroom
head gear!
And if those soldiers are supposed to be toad...
then this may be further evidence of evolution
on our hands...Perhaps they were human at
one point ...and have become mushroom people
from the environment and their diet of power
mushrooms!
...Hmm well mushrooms do breed by spores.
And some of them can grow while on hosts.
I mean there even is a zombie mushroom that
takes over the brains of ants.
OH DEAR!
What if all the star children are actually
just survivors from a space shuttle crash.
Essentially STAR CHILDREN! children from the
stars people!
And after a while the native flora absorbed
their DNA and are now creating similar versions
to further their spread across the universe.
What if 1up mushrooms are just small baby
toads who have not matured yet that will one
day grow into Mario.
What if its actually just more Mario's waiting
to grow rapidly once the original Mario dies
and releases his spores onto the 1ups he's
carrying!
Thus continuing his mission!
Is our plumber from Brooklyn hiding a dark
secret?
Has our original Mario been dead for ages?
Has he been taken over by the mushroom kingdom’s
spores?
Is he in reality just a grotesque host for
the mushrooms to control with their spores?
We then see in Mario galaxy they, the mushroom
hosts, are befriending Rosalina who possibly
is from the same race as the original star
children.
is Bowser then one of the few remaining star
children who have not been infected due to
his love of drastically drier and warmer climates?
Or perhaps some turtle immunity?
Or better yet… was Bowser taken over by
a rival race of mushrooms!?
I mean why else would goombas look the way
they do.
I mean the science is There Sheeple! wake
up!
Nintendo is predicting the future of our populace!
We send off 7 of our children to continue
our race but they ultimately succumb to the
dangers of the world.
Endlessly used as puppets to accomplish tasks
in a unknown war of fungi.
What if…..
*GUN FIRE*
MAXILL: HOLY BIDOOF!
DON’T YOU EVEN CONTINUE THIS!
We dont need this channel to become… *grumblr
grumble* THIS!
UG!
I can barely STAND you right now!
…
…
Oh dont worry he’s not dead.
Just incapacitated for a while.
LOCKSTIN: *SCREAM*
*SHOT AGAIN*
MAXILL: a while longer now.
uhh well i guess i have to do the outro now.
Uhh never stop using your Gnoggin or you could
end up like that guy....
...uh, also I have merch just in case your
the kind of loser who wears this crap.
Grand mothers name Gramma Toadstool
