

### THERE WAS A BOY

Justin Durand

Copyright © 2017 Justin Durand

All rights reserved.

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

# CHAPTER 1

Brilliant sunlight streamed through the window and, rising from the street below, the sounds of foot and car traffic could be heard. Though he had gone to bed nine hours earlier, here in the room he shared with his host family brother in San Jose, Costa Rica, tall, slim seventeen-year-old Aaron Larkin still slept.

He dreamed of a sunny park. He and Ramiro were running and playing around. Both were shirtless and barefooted, wearing only sky blue nylon running shorts. The shorts matched because, in the dream, the teens belonged to the same track team.

Suddenly, Ramiro executed a swift wrestling maneuver and brought Aaron to the ground on his back in the thick grass. It was fast but gentle and they laughed. The grass was damp and Ramiro's light brown bare skin against Aaron's pale skin was slippery with sweat. Aaron was happy and excited. He felt Ramiro's lean, muscular body against his. Now in the dream, through the two layers of fabric he felt Ramiro's erection against his. He smelled his cologne. The next sensation was Ramiro's warm semen spreading wetness all over him and he smelled that as well.

In his narrow bed that morning, the sleeping Aaron had the most intense orgasm he had ever experienced and felt a rush of elation. In the dream, everything was good and appropriate. He felt no shame or guilt.

He would fly home today. On this, his last morning in Costa Rica, Aaron had just had a wet dream about Ramiro, the nineteen-year-old son of the host family with whom he had shared a room for six months. It was a thrilling dream and Aaron had made some noise in his sleep...apparently, a lot of noise.

Aaron woke to the presence of Ramiro standing over him. He saw his smiling handsome face and bare chest and then noticed the front of Ramiro's boxer shorts pushing out slightly, a daily sight that Aaron never tired of. In the afterglow of the dream, he felt a rush of affection, adoration even, for Ramiro. He saw Ramiro's white teeth and beautiful brown eyes but didn't immediately notice that his host family brother was holding an iPhone with its camera lens pointed at Aaron. Aaron's sounds had attracted his attention.

Ramiro laughed and looked at the phone in his hand. Aaron comprehended the situation.

" _Car'e picha!"_ Aaron swore, calling his roommate a _dickhead_ in perfectly-accented young male vernacular. Shaking his head he asked, _"De verdad, Ramiro?"_

Aaron felt the wetness on his belly and chest and looked at a large dark wet area on the turquoise sheet. "Oh, no," he said aloud.

With his right hand, he searched around the top of the mattress for his boxers, the ones that matched Ramiro's, bought for them by Ramiro's mother. He must have slipped out of them during the night. Still recording, Ramiro pointed to the floor by the bed.

Aaron sat up and swung his legs to the side of the bed, his lap-and erection-still covered by the wet sheet. He reached for the underwear. Ramiro gave a final, loud, high, teasing laugh and set the phone down on his own bed behind him.

" _No te preocupes,"_ Ramiro said. He reached for a tee shirt from the pile of yesterday's dirty clothes and handed it to Aaron. He squeezed him on the shoulder with his large hand.

While Aaron attempted a quick mop up operation, Ramiro sat next to him and congratulated him with a one-armed hug _. "Ay, hijo! Finalmente,"_ Ramiro said, pretending that this was the younger boy's first ejaculation. "Who were you fucking? Is she pretty? Does she have big breasts? Was it Michelle?"

Just then, there was a rap on the door. Señora Torres called out to them, _"Hijos?"_

Ramiro shouted, _"Espera, mamá. Aaron está desnudo."_

Next they heard Ramiro's sister, sixteen-year-old Gabby, shout, _"Yo quiero ver!"_ (I want to see!) From the hall, there was the sound of a soft slap and two females laughing. Then Ramiro's mother called out, _"Desayuno. Apúrense! Que no tenemos todo el día."_

***

San José - Sacramento

Tues, Dec 20 12:07 PM - 8:11 PM

United Airlines 1 stop 1h 53m in HOU

Because of his longer legs, there was less legroom than on the trip _to_ Central America last June. Still, it was a pleasant flight. The cabin crew had seen him saying good-bye to his Costa Rican family and friends at the gate and had singled him out for special attention. He spoke to them in fluent Spanish and was enlisted to help serve small bags of pretzels.

On his way home now, Aaron thought it had just been the happiest six months of his life. The familia Torres had welcomed him as a member and had shared their happy, active lives in the prosperous upper class of San Jose society. He left Costa Rica with more siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends than he had ever dreamed of having in California.

One day last spring, Grandad had called Aaron into his study and told him his grandmother would pick him up from school the next day and take him to the doctor's office for a comprehensive medical exam. It was required for a student exchange program that Grandad had chosen for him. This was how the high school junior learned he would leave home for the first time, go to live with strangers and miss the first half of his senior year. Aaron was reluctant. He was a shy person, a little afraid to plunge into a new world with all new people. Of greater importance to Aaron, he was unhappy to miss his last season on the Kennedy High cross-country team.

There was never any choice for the boy. His grandfather, a retired fire captain, told him it would make him grow up in a hurry, learn to be assertive and teach him to take care of himself.

Grandad made all the major (and most of the minor) decisions in Aaron's life. The ones that Aaron held as most significant had not turned out well. These were the decisions to enroll Aaron in youth flag football, little league, soccer, Tae Kwondo and finally basketball. When he was older, Aaron learned to check the whiteboard in the kitchen where Grandad would write down the dates of registration or tryouts or the first practices. This was often the first he would hear of a new, mandatory activity. Grandad had been determined to find a sport in which Aaron could perform adequately. He had offered suggestions and criticism after every activity. Each attempt had ended in obvious failure and left the child with the belief that he had disappointed his family. Other choices Grandad made for him-to be vaccinated, have fluoride treatments and orthodontia, go to math academy-had not seemed memorable. This latest occasion, as on all the others, Aaron had obeyed. In his heart, he thought it might deliver on the implied promise to fix what was wrong with him.

No one would have known how much Aaron hated to give up his cross-country season. Looking back, running was the only part of his life over which Aaron felt he had any control. About the time his grandfather seemed to have given up on Aaron's prospects for success in any sport, when he was in the 7th grade, Aaron was crossing the park on his way home from school when a group of high school runners went by. They were shirtless and talking loudly. They passed him a couple more times as his path crossed theirs. Each time they teased him good-naturedly. One guy would turn a little sideways as they passed and look at him. He was Aaron's favorite. He found him on the high school's athletic website and followed his performance for the next two years. More importantly, within days of the experience in the park, with the help of his cousin David, two years older and a star athlete, Aaron found a local club for young runners.

The Buffalo Chips would cost Aaron a $25 membership, half his life savings, but he needed a credit card to pay on line. His mother told him to ask Grandad. Grandad enrolled him without much reaction. He remained with the club for two years, running at least three times a week with the other young members. The next two springs, he also participated in track at middle school. Starting in 9th grade at high school, Aaron ran cross country and was a distance runner in the spring track season. Though it never made it to Grandad's whiteboard, running became the center of Aaron's life, giving him a sense of control-of his body, his effort and his development and a significant share of his free-time-that contrasted with the rest of his life.

Until the end of his junior season last fall, Aaron was small and in the slowest half of the cross-country team. He had started to grow and showed some improvement by the end of autumn. In spring, on the track team with his additional physical development, the seventeen-year-old had become a star with winning performances in the 1600 and 3200 meter races.

The belated athletic success and his academic accomplishments did not make his teen years with Grandad any easier. His shyness, his fearfulness, his clumsiness, his small size, his posture, his speech and his failure sometimes to look people in the eye seemed to annoy his grandfather and nearly every encounter elicited some critical remark. On the second leg of the flight from Houston to Sacramento, Aaron worried that nothing would have changed. _He_ had changed in Costa Rica but, he knew, not in the way that mattered the most.

***

Nancy Larkin was surprised when her grandson's classmate, a lovely neighbor girl named Michelle, asked to go with the family to the airport to pick him up on a foggy weekday evening four days before Christmas. Aaron's mother had to work and his grandfather did not like to be out after dark, Nancy explained, so she was by herself and happy for the company.

As they rode the freeway on the outskirts of town, Michelle chatted pleasantly but Nancy only half listened. She was looking forward to seeing her third grandchild, the only one of the six who had lived with her and her husband. She reminded herself to expect a more mature looking adolescent rather than the gangly youth from June or the short, late-bloomer she had known for so many years before. From what he had written, she knew Aaron had now grown several more inches. That would make it fourteen inches in the last two years. During the last of his few calls from Costa Rica, she had noted his voice was much lower than it had been just six months ago. She wondered, had Aaron asked this blonde, blue-eyed classmate to meet him at the airport? It didn't sound like her timid grandson but maybe this was another change.

Nancy and Charles were in their fifties when their youngest son abandoned his wife and four-year-old child. Charles was still working in a stressful, high-level job and she had enough demands on her time as a part-time community college math instructor and the one who took care of all the domestic duties. They had raised and educated three children and were enjoying the empty nest freedom. But Dawn had no money and no employment skills and she and the little boy had nowhere else to go.

Charles decided they would move in with them. It was supposed to be temporary. A year went by and Charles hired a private investigator to find their son. Her husband soon confronted him in Reno. Father and son had a heated argument that turned physical. Charles never spoke to him again. The daughter-in-law and little boy remained. Charles was not about to see his son jailed for failure to pay child support and so he and Nancy took responsibility. For thirteen years now, they had given the two of them free room and board and claimed the child as a dependent and provided his health insurance and all his other expenses.

Almost from the start, Nancy and Charles took on parental duties as well. Dawn was experiencing an emotional breakdown when she and Aaron showed up at her in-laws' door. Charles made it clear that he believed she was incompetent to run her own life let alone his grandson's. Even Nancy, who was usually mild-mannered and unassertive, let Dawn know that she blamed her in part for their son's actions. Charles and Nancy's conduct and comments steadily wore down the young woman's belief in herself as a mother. For the rest of his childhood, Charles and Nancy disciplined the boy, taught him how to behave, took care of him when he was sick and comforted him when he was sad. With college already planned for Aaron, it looked like their responsibilities would extend another five years. By then, Charles would be seventy-seven and Nancy would be seventy-three. She could hardly believe it.

"Oh, my god!" Michelle said when Aaron appeared among a group of passengers heading into the main terminal from the gate. Nancy understood. Most of the photos Aaron had sent back showed places or other people so this tall, handsome smiling boy who walked toward them was a bit of a surprise. A pleasant surprise for Michelle, Nancy guessed, by the tone of her voice.

***

It was cold and the fog reflected the airport lights making the sky a dingy orange when Aaron walked with his grandmother and Michelle to the short-term parking lot. He was tired but animated and they were halfway home when he realized he had been speaking non-stop, often in Spanish. He apologized, adding, "I'm babbling too much, I know."

From the driver's seat, Grandma gave him a warm smile and from the back seat, Michelle reached for him and grabbed his shoulders. Laughing, she said, "Oh my god! Do you think?"

Aaron prepared himself for awkward reunions with his mother and grandfather but was distracted as soon as he entered the house from the garage. In the living room was a fresh cut Christmas tree, the tallest his grandparents had ever had his entire life. It was decorated with red lights and shiny red bulbs. Grandad welcomed him with an awkward hug. Aaron's mother was not back yet. The dog ran in circles around her favorite human, wagging her tail but not barking because she had been trained not to. Grandad told him to take his suitcases up to his room and after a few minutes downstairs in the living room told him to walk Michelle home.

# CHAPTER 2

He slept in the next morning. At about eight, without knocking, Aaron's thirty-nine-year-old mother Dawn walked into his room and sat on his bed. She gripped his hand and welcomed him home. Wearing only a pair of cotton boxers, he remained under the covers. Mom seemed eager to tell him something secret. It was like she was about to share juicy gossip.

"While you were gone, a couple of months ago, Nancy and Charles had a huge argument."

"What happened?"

"I don't know but I heard loud voices behind their bedroom door that went on for a couple of hours."

"You don't know what it was about?" Aaron could not help but wonder if he was the cause.

"What I know is he suddenly quit drinking. I noticed the very next day when he didn't have his usual cocktails before, during and after dinner. That was it. The old guy has so much willpower he just quit cold turkey."

"Oh."

"He hasn't really been any nicer to live with. He suddenly decided the rest of us need to quit drinking. You know I don't drink that much, honey, right? But, anyway, now that I mention it, there was one change. He seems to have less to say now, which in his case is fewer mean things."

She shrugged and then stared at Aaron's shoulders. "Wow, you're really filling out, looking very sexy." His mother patted his bare shoulder and said good-bye, telling him she would see him in the afternoon.

He was surprised she had to go in early since she had just worked the late shift. Aaron was also surprised by the news about his grandfather. He had never seemed to show any effect from drinking. Maybe his grandmother wanted him to quit because it wasn't healthy.

The other thing Aaron noticed this morning was that his mother really did act more like a sister to him than a parent. It was something that had crossed his mind while observing his host family the last six months.

***

As promised, Michelle found Aaron on her doorstep right after breakfast this chilly, foggy morning. He looked cute with his slightly long hair and cheeks that were red from the cold. She brought him into the dining room where her parents, both on their two-week holidays, read the newspaper with their coffee. They greeted Aaron with affectionate hugs and kept him talking about his trip for ten minutes before they let Michelle take her friend upstairs.

For the last ten years, Michelle had liked Aaron, given him some companionship, encouraged him and secretly felt very sorry for him. Something else had entered the situation last spring. Her cute little friend had begun to grow into an attractive, adolescent guy. They had exchanged almost daily e-mails while he was gone and she enjoyed their frequent Skype chats. Now that he was back, she expected something to change in their relationship. No, it was not that she planned to make him her boyfriend, but she did intend he would be an important part of her life.

In her bedroom upstairs, she closed the door. "For privacy," she said.

Aaron gave her a questioning look.

"My dad finally decided he could trust us." She had asked for permission, explaining her special reason and Daddy had agreed. "How do you like it?" she asked with a gesture that encompassed the whole room.

"It's great," he said enthusiastically. "New furniture and carpet and no more pink."

Michelle was proud of her new look: modern-style bed, desk and shelves with weathered black finish, black and white patterns for the spread, carpet and curtains with splashes of teal everywhere. She was glad he loved it as much as she did.

Michelle turned to face Aaron, still standing in front of the door.

"The desk chair is bigger," she said as she tugged a wrinkle out of his shirt. She smoothed his hair and pushed the bangs to the sides. She loved the new shaggier, more tousled look. Aaron smiled at her as she tugged the bottom hem of his shirt to even it out. It was a familiar action for them both. She always felt that she could touch him in this way. Even as late as a year ago, she caught herself starting to tuck in his shirttail. This new, more mature, version of him was handsome but still in a boyish way. His pants were longer but he was still very slim, though with muscular legs. He still had the cute ass and also, she guessed, the twenty-eight inch waist.

"It's a good thing," she said.

"What?"

"That the chair is bigger for you now that you're taller."

He rotated the chair from the desk to face the bed where she sat, stretching out against the headboard. He lowered himself onto the seat and extended his legs toward her.

"Thanks," he said. "It's comfortable."

She carefully noted the subtle changes in Aaron's face and smiled at how much she liked it.

"What?" he asked, appearing confused.

"Well I'll tell you. You have really pretty skin and it looks so nice with your black hair and eyebrows. And your eyes are a really pretty blue-green."

"Pretty?"

"Yeah. And handsome. There's nothing feminine about you. You aren't super macho. More like...sweet and hot."

"Thanks. You're very pretty too," he said, smiling. Then, very seriously he said, "You're beautiful, really. My Costa Rican brother has a crush on you."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I wouldn't give him your e-mail address because he already has a girlfriend."

They stared at each other for several seconds, smiling, and then Michelle broke the silence. She asked if Aaron wanted to hear what had been going on with their classmates and the school. Without waiting for an answer, she began.

"Well, your cross-country coach freaked out when you didn't show up for training in July and somebody told him you had left the country."

"I never told any of the coaches and teachers."

"Jared said they expected you to be one of the best on the team. We wondered why you would give up your last season but then I figured it out. Your grandfather made you go, didn't he?"

"He thought it would make me...well, help me become more grown up." Aaron shrugged. "Maybe he was right."

She shook her head. "You missed a lot. We missed you. But it did sound like you had a great time."

"I did...and I missed you too." He added the second part quickly. "What else is new?"

"Raymond Hoang is going to be a dentist."

"I already knew that."

"Oh, yeah. You and Raymond have been friends since middle school. Well, here's something. Jared broke up with Barbara. They both plan to go to UCLA."

Jared was a pole vaulter on their track team. Michelle suspected that Aaron liked him.

Aaron nodded.

Michelle continued matter-of-factly. "I lost my virginity. So did Joshua."

Aaron's eyes widened but he smiled.

"Now you're interested," she laughed.

"Uh huh."

"We started going out last summer. We kind of worked our way up to it. It was in August. Of course it was safe-sex and I told my mother pretty soon afterward."

"Have you done it again?"

"No. We didn't get the chance and then we broke up. It was pretty good, I guess, but it wasn't _that_ wonderful an experience."

Aaron looked disappointed.

"Not bad enough to stop me from trying it again," she teased.

Michelle sensed that Aaron wanted to hear more...real details. It could be intuition or imagination but she got the hint that he wanted to know what it was like to have sex with Joshua.

"I did miss a lot," Aaron said after she had been silent for a while. "Everyone has changed, haven't they?"

"Did you meet anyone in Costa Rica?"

"You mean..."

"Are you still a virgin?"

"Yes." He tilted his head in a kind of self-deprecating way.

"Aaron, you're really hot. You'll meet someone when you're ready." She paused to look into his eyes. "I know if anything was going to happen between us, it would have already. It's all right, Aaron. We can be really great friends and can share everything."

"Thanks. I really meant it when I said you're beautiful. And you're the smartest person in our class. Joshua must be crazy."

"I broke up with him."

"Oh, right."

# CHAPTER 3

Aaron heard someone open his bedroom door and then heard the patter of four feet and a dog tag clinking against a rhinestone collar. The small, almost thirteen-year-old black, brown and white Terrier/Cocker mix was still in good enough shape to jump onto the bed. Daisy stepped on his legs and walked on his body up to his chest where she settled in, pushing her paws into him. She stared expectantly. Hers was a presence he had lived with for as long as he could remember. He knew from old photographs that the dog had been a tiny, adorable puppy when he was not yet five years old, so they had grown up together. He also knew what she was asking for this morning, his second day home and three days before Christmas. He smiled and nodded.

Most of the day went by before Aaron delivered on his promise to Daisy. He ate breakfast, took Grandad's Cadillac Escalade to the carwash, dropped off dry cleaning and took a package into the post office. It was three in the afternoon when he parked his grandmother's red Mustang in Michelle's driveway. Daisy waited anxiously while Aaron ran to the front door. Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the lot by the nature trail in the park.

It was another dreary day with high fog and a dampness in the air. Both teens were in shorts. Aaron wore only a tee-shirt but Michelle had on a pink hoodie. It was not a great day for a stroll but there were a few other cars and some people walking, bicycling or jogging. Michelle opened the door on her side and Daisy jumped out, dragging her leash across the asphalt. Michelle remained in the seat, texting on her phone.

Aaron followed the dog across the lot. Daisy trotted directly to a tall, young Hispanic-looking man who sat sideways in the driver's seat of a metallic green SUV. He had just removed his sweats and was tying a pair of New Balance cross trainers when she greeted him with a wagging tail and jumped on his bare legs.

"Sorry," Aaron called out. _This guy is seriously good-looking,_ he thought. The legs Daisy was pawing were long and lean with well-defined muscles and covered lightly with black hair.

"It's ok." The young man picked up Daisy and held her in his lap. He placed his face in front of hers and dodged doggie kisses. He had a relaxed, confident smile with pink lips and white teeth. "You're a good old dog, aren't you?"

His voice was very deep and manly. Aaron stopped a few feet away. He wondered how old the guy was. _He looks young. Nineteen, maybe? No, probably a year or two older_.

The man gently set Daisy back on the ground and stood next to his car. He leaned against it while stretching his hamstrings and ankle tendons. "What's her name?" he asked Aaron, smiling at him now.

"Daisy."

"Is she about thirteen?"

"Almost."

Michelle had mentioned to Aaron yesterday that he had a habitual expression: he always looked confused. Aaron thought there was a good reason for that. She hoped he didn't mind her pointing it out. He said no, it was better than what Grandad often told him, that he always looked scared. Michelle said she thought that was cruel. Either way, this afternoon, when he met this man at the park, Aaron made a conscious effort to smile and act confident and to look him in the eye.

"How far are you planning to run?" Aaron asked.

The man continued his stretches and said, "Ten K." He leaned into the car and searched for something long enough for Aaron to take in his broad shoulders, slim hips and nicely rounded glutes. The man came out with a Casio wrist watch that he attempted to fasten to his wrist. The strap broke and the watch fell onto the asphalt.

" _Ay, pinche pendejo!_ " he swore, shaking his head.

" _Hij'ue puta!_ " Aaron responded, smiling innocently.

" _Cabron. Hablas espanol muy bien_."

Aaron offered him his own runner's wristwatch. The man waved him off. Extending his hand he said, " _Yo soy Daniel_." Though obviously an American-his accent was kind of _gringo_ -he used the softer Spanish pronunciation of the _a_ in his name.

" _Soy Aaron. Mucho gusto_." Aaron leaned in to shake the man's hand firmly.

"Where did you learn Spanish, Aaron?" Daniel asked affably.

Aaron explained that he had just returned from a semester abroad program.

A horn sounded and two cars approached. One parked near the Mustang where Michelle still sat with the door open staring at her phone. The second parked just beyond Daniel's green Toyota Highlander.

The first new arrival was also a young man. He was twenty feet away but Aaron could see that, like the man Aaron had just met, he was also very nice-looking. He was shorter and more muscular than Daniel. He had hair and skin color similar to Aaron's and wore gold Nike running shorts that matched the pair Daniel had on, (the shorts Aaron had been willing himself not to stare at.) Though he had honked and waved at Daniel, when he got out of his car, he turned the other way. He approached the Mustang. Aaron heard Michelle apologize for leaving the door open. The guy said something in a cheerful voice and then walked around the car.

"1993 SVT Mustang Cobra," Aaron heard him say. He spoke to Michelle who agreed with whatever he said next, apparently a compliment about the car and then he snickered when Michelle pointed in Aaron's direction.

"All that power is wasted on him. He drives like an old lady," she said laughing.

The guy asked if he could take a photo. Michelle said, "No problem," and he asked her to have the owner let him know if they ever wanted to sell it.

His friends greeted Daniel as "Danny" but Aaron didn't hear the names of the other two. The second guy, who had parked near the Highlander, was a slim Asian-American.

_Ay!_ Aaron thought. _Is this some prank?_ This guy was also handsome and he was wearing compression shorts that clung to his thighs and showed a very _male_ bulge in the front.

The first one now walked to Daniel's car with Michelle. Danny greeted them with a wide smile. He bowed to Michelle and handed her the dog's leash that he had just picked up from the ground. He told the others they needed to hit the trail.

Michelle noticed when Aaron watched them jog from the parking lot to the trail entrance. "If you would rather go running, I can walk Daisy."

He shook his head.

Aaron, Michelle and the dog set out on the nature trail through the oak woodland, with dark green shrubs and dry, grey grass. They saw the three runners moving at a rapid pace. Later the men's path rejoined the nature trail. One by one, they overtook the two teenagers, each saying something good natured as they passed.

Aaron guessed their run would take about an hour which was just about the time he and Michelle would need to traverse the nature walk around the perimeter of the landscaped section of the park, if they didn't linger to read the descriptive signs for the flora. An hour was sufficient exercise for the old dog and Aaron's party arrived back at the trailhead at the same time that Daniel and his friends returned sweating and breathing heavily.

Michelle and the pale, dark-haired guy resumed their conversation. The third guy jogged ahead to his car for a towel and a water bottle and then joined Michelle and his friend by the Mustang. Daniel had taken Daisy's leash from Michelle at the edge of the parking lot. Aaron followed as he led Daisy to his SUV. He opened a rear door and took out a collapsible yellow water bowl from the floor and placed it on the ground in front of the dog. She looked at him eagerly. Daniel leaned into the front seat now and brought out a plastic water bottle. He poured some for Daisy, offered it to Aaron who declined and then sat in the driver's seat sideways as he had done before. Aaron watched his neck muscles move as he drained the contents.

"Let's have a look at you."

Aaron was momentarily confused, just until Daniel leaned over and picked up Daisy. Once again, he held her in his lap. This time he began to examine her teeth and gums.

"She needs some dental work, man. Cleaning and some of the teeth need to be removed. What have you been feeding her?"

Aaron grimaced. "She's a family dog who's been fed people food. I've been part of the problem," he admitted.

"I know," Daniel said sympathetically. "We've all been there, _flaco_ (slim)." He set Daisy down and then pivoted in his seat toward the inside of the vehicle. He stripped off his sweat-soaked tee-shirt and pulled on a dry one and then put a UC Davis sweatshirt on over that. Aaron saw his muscled back but only got a glimpse of the sparse black hair in the center of his chest.

Aaron's impression of Daniel was that he was super-handsome, really masculine looking and acting, maybe even a tough guy except for the wide, smile that showed his white teeth, his relaxed, amiable way of talking and how nice he was to everyone. Daniel's hair was thick and neatly trimmed and wet with sweat right now.

Michelle and the other two approached Daniel's car. He heard her asking them about a running club. "Poor Aaron missed the season while he was studying out of the country," Michelle told them.

"He looks like a distance runner," the first guy said as he eyed Aaron from head to foot.

"Definitely," the slim Asian guy agreed.

Daniel's companion, the one who liked the Mustang, smiled at Michelle and said to Aaron, "You can run with us on the Christmas Eve 10K Donut Dash if you like. There'll be hundreds of people there. Try it out. If you like it you can join our club. I'll buy you lunch if you can beat Danny."

# CHAPTER 4

During their brief time together after the run, Matthew O'Kelly took care to talk to both the blonde girl Michelle and her companion. The guy with her was named Aaron. According to Michelle, the red Cobra belonged to him. _Nice looking guy,_ Matthew joked to himself noting that Aaron shared his dark hair color and pale skin tone and facial features. A fellow _black Irishman,_ Matthew assumed.

Matthew was not the kind of person who would try to crowd out another guy when he's out with his girlfriend so he didn't do any flirting. Besides, she was a little young for Matthew. He had politely asked Aaron about his trip to Central America and what he would be doing next. It was back to school for the guy. Matthew understood that. This would be the first time in years, Matthew's whole life actually, that he would not be starting a new semester in January. He had passed the bar and was six months into his new job.

Matthew gathered a few other facts about the pretty girl and the tall, slim runner. She was eighteen and about to graduate from high school. They weren't dating. The guy, Matthew assumed based on the parking permit on the windshield of the Mustang, was going to the two-year American River College. He must be in his second year because he hoped to run for the Sacramento State team next fall. He lived with his parents on the same street as Michelle and he would probably take the Spanish 5 course this coming semester for an easy 'A'.

They exchanged phone numbers so Matthew could text Aaron the race information. A few minutes later, with some envy, he watched and listened to the Mustang circle the parking lot to the road.

Matthew, Daniel and Justin had a brief conversation about the guy with the dog.

"Seems pretty cool and from what he said, he runs a really fast 5K," Matthew told them.

"You sure it's not his car you're after," Justin asked with a grin.

"Back off, Jay. I'm just being friendly. If he wants to go out sometime and he volunteers to drive..."

"How old are they?" Justin asked.

"The girl is eighteen. She's still in high school. He's going to American River, in his second year, so he must be nineteen or twenty. They're neighbors."

Michelle had mentioned her November birthday to Matthew during their second conversation but he had made the erroneous assumption about Aaron because of the _Bucky the Beaver_ decal on the back window, the parking permit on the front and the community college Spanish class he said he was considering for the coming semester.

"Are we boring you, Dr. Quintana?" Matthew asked.

Danny was very obviously day-dreaming.

# CHAPTER 5

_Here we go._ Aaron assumed Grandad had summoned him for another of their heart-to-heart talks. He never fared well in these conversations. He usually learned something negative about himself. Fortunately, this Friday afternoon, when Grandad asked him to come to his study, it was to download a piece of software and fix the settings on his laptop. Grandad sat on the small sofa and looked through photos on Aaron's IPad while the teen worked at his desk.

Grandad was different since Aaron came home. He seemed distant. He still acted generally angry but so far had been less focused on Aaron than he always had been and he was less disapproving of Aaron specifically. A couple of times, Aaron noticed him reaching to his left at the end table...for a glass that wasn't there, Aaron supposed. Grandad looked like he didn't know what to do with his hands.

"Will you get academic credit for your time as an exchange student?" Grandad asked.

"Yes. They gave me a transcript."

"Good, good. We mailed in your registration to Sacramento State."

"I know. Thank you. It's a good school."

"Your SAT scores were excellent."

"I think the Spanish helped with the verbal score...all the Latin roots, you know. I guess Grandma helped with math."

"You've always been good in school," Grandad said, almost to himself. He raised his voice then and said, "We'll need to discuss a major for you, but it can wait until after the holidays."

"Yes."

Aaron thought he should bring up the subject of chores before Grandad did. He wondered who had maintained the yard and pool while he was away.

"No, I've taken care of all that," Grandad told him. "We've hired a service for the yard. Likewise for the pool. You can help with preparations for tomorrow's family dinner, of course, and on Christmas you can set up the new big screen TV your grandmother is surprising me with. Other than that, I suppose you'll want to catch up with friends and get ready for your last semester in high school."

Grandad commented on Aaron's growth and appearance and his comportment. "Your host parents wrote me. I'm glad you made an excellent impression."

_Oh my god! A compliment?_ He was very stern, Aaron noted, but compared to all their other one-on-one sessions, this was a picnic.

***

Aaron had to wait until six the evening before Christmas Eve for the text message he eagerly anticipated. Matthew O'Kelly sent it to three dozen recipients, with the time and meeting place for the North Area Donut Dash. The Arden-Arcade Runner's Club would park in front of K-Mart and walk three blocks to the park entrance where they would join a dozen other clubs for the 5 and 10K races. Aaron saw the names of Matthew's companions from Wednesday. Justin Yang was the third guy's name. He learned that Daniel's last name was Quintana.

***

The next morning surprised everyone who hadn't bothered to check the forecast. For the first time in two weeks it was sunny. It was cold also but, amidst a crowd of two hundred noisy runners of all ages, Aaron saw that his three new acquaintances were taking off their sweats and dropping them on a table near the starting line. They would run in shorts and singlets despite the cool breeze. Aaron followed their lead. For him, it was a pleasant reminder of his late season cross-country runs of years past.

It was mostly older runners and younger runners in this laid-back race. Aaron had no trouble keeping up with Danny, who was clearly the fastest in their club. Runners from other clubs and unaffiliated runners were even less serious and they stepped out of the way for the fast ones to pass. Danny sometimes let Aaron get ahead, but he always followed closely. They spoke occasionally during the run. They didn't see Matthew and Justin until it was over.

"What is this, _pale Irish guy outreach_?" Justin demanded when he, Danny, Matthew and a few others gathered near the finish line while waiting for the second half of the participants to complete the course. He pointed to Aaron and Matthew's very white legs which looked even whiter with the contrast to their dark hair. Matthew had just told the others he was going to recruit Aaron for the club.

"I knew if we let one of you in, you'd bring in too many of your people," Justin continued. He had a broad grin and had wrapped his arm around Aaron's shoulder. "Can we keep him and get rid of you? Anyway, you just want his car."

"Are you kidding? Look at the thighs and calves on this athlete," Matthew said.

Matthew had organized an early lunch at a historic coffee shop downtown. He told Justin and Danny they were on their own and rode with Aaron, explaining that their new friend would need directions.

After a twenty-minute drive on the freeway, Matthew and Aaron were already seated at a large curved corner booth when the other two arrived at the 1940's era diner. Danny and Justin waited at the entrance for two female runners to whom Aaron had been introduced before the race.

It was a lively group and Matthew considerately reintroduced the women to Aaron in case someone had missed a name. Shelley and Kimmie did not believe him when he said Aaron was not his brother.

"Oh! We just assumed...anyway, you both have such beautiful complexions and the black hair is identical. It was a natural assumption," Shelley told him.

"Do you save a fortune on sunscreen by buying in bulk?" Kimmie teased.

While they waited to give their orders, Aaron was the subject of the conversation. Danny told them that Aaron had just returned from a study program in Costa Rica. Shelley, a middle school Spanish teacher, conversed with him in Spanish.

"It's so great," she said with delight. "You have a Costa Rican accent."

"Excellent," Kimmie agreed. She asked Danny, "Could you understand what they were saying?"

"He's a big disappointment to his family, girls," Matthew said before Danny could answer. "He can only swear in Spanish. Then there's my friend Justin here who is Chinese-American but can't speak a word of his ancestral tongue."

"That's not true _, Zh? guānjié_! I know all the swear words. I choose not to say them."

"That's very commendable, Jay," Shelley said.

"What did you just call me?" Matthew asked.

Justin replied, "A knucklehead, I think, but I'm not sure."

Shelley turned the conversation back to Aaron. "Was it just school or did you work while you were there?"

"School, really. I did some jobs for my host father's business. It was some accounting and computers. I was trying to be helpful, but mainly I was in class every day studying. I got credits for Spanish, history and calculus. I still got in my running but it was on a treadmill, mostly."

Aaron was relieved when the conversation shifted again. Over their meal, he learned about his new friends. Matthew was a lawyer, Justin a Facilities Director at the YMCA and Danny a veterinarian. Now Aaron understood the examination of Daisy's teeth that took place on their first meeting. All three had been at college together. Aaron was surprised that Danny had already finished veterinary school because he knew it took extra years and Danny seemed too young. Matthew, it was mentioned, was two years older than Danny and Justin. The women were both new teachers.

A little later, Aaron heard that Matthew had been Danny's roommate their last four years of school. That fact came out during some banter about blow jobs.

First, Danny mentioned to the others that his roommate was not particularly good at them.

"Wasn't Matthew your roommate?" one of the women asked.

Matthew spoke up. "Yeah, well, Danny cheated on a bet and anyway it would not have been a very useful skill for a good looking straight stud like me."

"Don't shortchange yourself. You got better at it," Danny asserted.

Matthew shook his head. "Handsome as you are, mi amigo, I've never been that drunk and you know it."

Aaron chuckled. All heads turned to him when Matthew demanded, "What are you laughing at, little brother?"

Aaron smiled, shaking his head. "This reminds me of a conversation my roommate and guys at the university in San Juan had when I was out with them. Almost word-for-word, except it was in Spanish."

The conversation turned to more polite topics. A little later, Matthew, the informal moderator of the discussion, addressed Aaron again. "I know you're still in school but did you have a job to come back to here after your trip?"

"No."

"No? How do you pay for gas and insurance for that beast?"

"It's not mine."

"You stole it?"

Danny interrupted his friend's teasing. "Hey, Aaron, if you're looking for a part-time job, we've got one. Do you know your schedule yet? We want someone who can work afternoons, most Saturdays and once in a while at night." He explained that it would be a job at the veterinary clinic where Danny worked with his uncle. The young vet joked that Aaron could work off the cost of the dental work his dog required. "It doesn't pay much but comes with the use of a car." A mischievous grin accompanied his last statement.

"Wait! Don't trust him," Shelley said.

"And there is a meal allowance," Danny continued. "It's some office work but you would also transport the smaller animals and pick up supplies."

The mention of a job opening hadn't seemed like any big deal on the part of the young man who brought it up but Aaron was instantly drawn to the idea. He believed he could schedule all his classes in the morning and still have enough units to graduate. Maybe he could get work-study credit. Someone soon changed the subject but Aaron summoned the nerve and at the first opportunity, he told Danny he'd really like the job and asked if he could come in to fill out an application.

"Sure," Danny said. "You don't have any evening classes?"

"No."

The party broke up after almost two hours, ending with hugs and wishes for a happy holiday. Matthew promised to text Aaron with the next run and suggested they go out for a drive some time. Aaron reminded Danny he promised to give him the office manager's number so he could call when the office would reopen on the 27th.

***

Two hours later, Grandad's house was filled with family: Charles and Nancy Larkin's eldest son, wife and three boys and their daughter, son-in-law and their two girls. Aaron imagined it would have been great to spend the holiday with his Costa Rican family but still, he was enjoying himself. It seemed that his relatives appreciated him after his absence and found him more interesting. His aunts and his eighteen-year-old cousin Rachael commented on how he'd grown and how handsome he was.

As usual on Christmas Eve, Aaron's aunt, his father's older sister, was in charge of the meal. Everyone else followed orders. Aaron's two female cousins were hard at work but once Aaron and the boys had set up the extra tables and chairs, they were asked to keep out of the way.

Aaron was surprised when the adults decided gifts would be opened early, long before the meal. He understood when Grandad opened his gift first, the big screen TV he had mentioned the day before. The plan was for his grandsons to set it up in the family room, get the cable box working and hook up the stereo.

"Daddy's not the only one Santa Claus accidentally put on the "nice" list," Aaron's aunt said. "Come on, the rest of you kids, start opening your presents." Aaron's grandmother, aunts and uncles gazed lovingly at the scene and shouted to be heard above the noise of the six teenagers tearing into Christmas wrapping and showing each other the presents. Aaron felt guilty for having wished to be with his Costa Rican family instead of his own.

The female workforce returned to the kitchen. The boys and Grandad moved into the family room to start deciphering the TV's installation instructions. Aaron's uncles and mother remained in the living room chatting and drinking beer.

An hour and a half before the planned serving time, Aaron and his oldest cousin David were called to the kitchen. Their cousin Nicole, younger sister of Rachael, was planning to use all the butter for her special mashed potato recipe and so more was needed for Grandma's homemade rolls.

David decided they had time to walk the three blocks to and from the grocery store. As soon as they left the house, Aaron felt his reassuring arm around his shoulder. In a manner that showed he wanted a real answer, he asked, "How are you doing, Aaron?"

Looking into David's friendly face, Aaron felt his cousin's affection and concern. Suddenly, this familiar question was hard to answer.

"Fine," Aaron said then added, "How about you?"

"You already heard enough about me today." The grandparents had demanded their update on his life as soon as their eldest grandson arrived this afternoon. David had driven up last night from Santa Barbara where he was in his second year at the University of California. Before his family left for Grandad's, David had conducted a FaceTime conversation introducing his parents and brothers to his new girlfriend. His grades were good and he had decided on a major. At six two, with a square jaw, brown hair and brown eyes, he was even more athletic and handsome than ever, a fact pointed out to him by their grandmother and aunt.

Aaron repeated the description of his Costa Rican experience that he had been sharing since he got home. David hadn't heard it and it seemed to answer his question.

Aaron asked David about his plans.

"I'm going to major in kinesiology. I've decided I want to be a coach at the college level."

"Coaching what?"

"What else? Football. I couldn't play well enough for college but I can coach it. I guess I'll teach some classes and work my way into the field."

"You'll be good. You have great leadership skills," Aaron said with a grin.

"You are a natural follower, cousin. I always liked the way you tried to do whatever I told you."

Aaron knew what David meant. The intersection of their lives had been a series of family athletic competitions. Grandad, the authoritarian fire captain, would organize events in his large backyard: touch football, whiffle ball (with plastic bats), volleyball and, eventually, soccer. David would lead one team, Grandad the other and David always chose Aaron to be on his team. Grandad's team usually won but without fail, David would give Aaron a chance to play and there was never any criticism when he missed whatever ball they happened to be playing with on that day. Aaron recalled those acts of kindness and felt grateful as he and his cousin turned a corner onto a busy street.

"You really are a good leader, David," Aaron said. "You never let Ethan or Jordan argue or fight. You always made sure we all behaved and helped out. Most families aren't like that."

"I know," David said with a laugh. "It wasn't until I got older and saw how other brothers and sisters got along that I realized what a control freak I am. It seems to work, though. That's enough about me. I want to talk about you."

Aaron took a deep breath.

"It's nothing bad," David said reassuringly. "I just want to tell you...well, you should be more confident. Hey, you're looking great."

As a child-and still today-Aaron thought David was extremely handsome. He had a light, all-year tan and hair a much lighter brown than Aaron's. Aaron knew there was a family resemblance but he never thought he was handsome despite what his mother and later Michelle told him. If David was the standard, then he couldn't meet that, could he? He smiled to himself remembering how many times at parties that Ramiro told him a girl thought he was _guapo_ and he should ask her to dance.

"And you're catching up to the rest of us now," David continued, reaching his hand to the top of Aaron's head."

"Finally."

"Seriously. You've always had a great personality and now you're not a kid anymore. I know you'll do great in school and won't drink or do drugs but it's time you had some fun. You should start dating. There are a lot of nice people out there. You're going to meet them and they'll show you some interest. Keep your head up and look out so you don't miss them. I'm just saying, you look mature now, really good and you should be confident and start meeting people to go out with."

Aaron felt nervous but he gave his cousin an appreciative smile. He joked to himself: _David's the best dad I'm ever going to have._ Aaron also noticed how carefully and awkwardly David avoided the feminine pronouns.

"One last thing, buddy...for your own good, you should spend as much time as possible away from the house. Grandad has always been so hard on you. He's toxic for your confidence."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, Grandad has never gotten over my failure to be the great athlete you, Ethan and Jordan are."

David said unconvincingly, "That might be it."

# CHAPTER 6

Brian Murphy Avila, a psychology professor, was a newly-declared PhD. fourteen years ago when he married into this large, Mexican-American family. In those days, it wasn't a legal marriage but he and Ernesto Murphy Avila, a fairly successful artist, considered it forever when they made their vows. Later, they had their union legalized to the state of California's satisfaction and chose to use both surnames. His vivacious, full-figured future sister-in-law Leticia, currently auburn-haired, treated him like family from their first meeting. He had spent every Christmas Day since in her home with her husband Enrique Quintana and their children in their large farmhouse on a hill above the Quintana peach orchard.

They had started the celebration this morning with a brunch of tamales, eggs and mimosas and were now in the interim period before the big meal this afternoon. Greying, balding barrel-chested Enrique, even more jolly and content than usual, was working his way through his Christmas CDs. Two dozen people were spread among the kitchen, living room and giant family room and there was a loud hum of conversation.

Daniel and his two friends had just arrived and were admiring the elaborately decorated twelve foot Douglas fir in the bright family room. As expected, they declined the offer of egg nog and helped themselves to Coronas from Enrique's ice chest. Brian accepted a loving hug from his nephew and then sat back to watch his warm, welcoming sister-in-law envelope the three young men with her attention. She had already spent the morning doting on her newly-pregnant daughter and her daughter-in-law and their husbands and her second eldest son. The two younger Quintana daughters still lived at home and so were already up to date with their maternal wisdom prescriptions. Now, Leticia sat next to Brian in a loveseat facing the boys on the couch.

"I talk about what is important on Christmas Day," she said, squeezing Brian's hand. Then she gave two of the three young men on the couch _the look_ , that very serious parental stare that tells children to listen and obey. She slid forward in her seat and said, "I'm much too busy to take charge of your lives personally, but it's time somebody explained what's important...and that is love."

_My sister-in-law is the loving, exciting maternal force that wants to see everyone happy and paired for life,_ Brian thought. _She is getting frustrated that Justin and her son are not moving forward in their romantic lives. If she only knew the truth..._

"You are both out of college and off to a good start in the world. I'm proud of you. You worked hard in school at the expense of your social lives and now, yes, careers are important. But there is something more important and you know what I'm talking about. You, both of you, need to get off your behinds and make time for finding the right person. I swear, if I have to, I'll come to each of your apartments and rip out the cable TV and take away all your video games."

Justin looked scared. Daniel looked at his mother with some exasperation but real fondness.

"Come on, Ma. You know we date," her son said.

"We do?" Justin asked.

_My sister-in-law would not call that dating,_ Brian thought. Almost the entire time he had known Daniel, his favorite nephew was serious about only one thing and that had been becoming a veterinarian. Leticia would not approve of her son's love life which, when he took time off from study, consisted of a search for guys to have sex with. From what Brian had learned from Justin, Daniel and Matthew, her son preferred one-night stands. Justin was more inclined to look for love but the results so far had been about the same as his best friend's. Only Matthew seemed to get very far along with a serious relationship but, from his own observation, his charm seemed to wear thin within weeks or months of finding a new girlfriend.

"Well, it's been slow lately," Daniel told his mother.

"Too much time spent jogging?" Leticia demanded with a frown.

"We're runners," Daniel insisted.

"Are you meeting _anyone_ new, Danny?" his mother asked.

"Not lately."

"Justin?"

"No."

"Well, get busy. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince."

The boys looked at her husband with feigned confusion.

Enrique hadn't said a word but he had been listening. He glared at the three on the couch and with a mock frown said, " _Cállense, cabrones_!"

"What about me?" Matthew asked, pretending to feel left out.

"I'll get to you in a minute," Leticia said. "Don't forget I've got two unmarried daughters and four nieces. And anyway, it's time for all of you to...well, you need to dive into life. There's a lot of romance out there and you better go after it."

Brian never knew Leticia as a girl, having married into the family when she was already a wife and mother and the keystone of a large extended family. He had watched Daniel and his life-long friend Justin grow up. He was pleased, proud and secretly surprised that that they had grown into such warm, happy and professionally successful young adults. To him and his generation, these two and Matthew were still boys but they had certainly come along way.

He had always felt an extra connection to Daniel and Justin because he had known they were gay before anyone else. Every gay person of Brian and Ernesto's generation would have found it ideal to grow up in this family. Even the drama of Daniel accidentally coming out at age fourteen was handled better than any similar situation he'd ever come across. Brian wondered if Justin had the same kind of support at home but he certainly came out of his shell when he was around Leticia and her family.

The boys made it through Leticia's intervention with no apparent damage. Matthew was guided to the doorway under the mistletoe with Brian's twenty-two-year-old niece and behaved gallantly. He and Justin remained for a couple of hours and then drove to Justin's grandparents' home where they were having a Cantonese Christmas celebration.

***

Christmas Day with the Larkin Clan was a repeat of Christmas Eve except at a different location and starting earlier. It was sunny again and warmer than the day before and Nancy Larkin was happy that kids could be out riding their new bicycles. She had been feeling sentimental for a week now. It warmed her heart to see the persons she and Charles were responsible for gathered here at her son and daughter-in-law's house just six miles from the home in which she had raised three children and a grandson with a cantankerous, energetic, domineering, tall, dark and handsome man. She felt like tears could start at any minute and didn't know why.

Her son, son-in-law and Dawn- _whatever our relationship is now_ -were in the front of the house enjoying beers. She, her daughter-in-law, her daughter and her two granddaughters were in the kitchen organizing today's family holiday meal. Charles, the boys and three teenagers from next door and two other neighbors were playing flag football in the backyard.

Nancy's older granddaughter handed her a dish of carrots to peel. She looked out the back window as she worked. _He's always at his happiest when he's with those boys_ , she thought. She smiled and shook her head.

"It's ok, Grandma. We understand," her younger granddaughter said, apparently reading Nancy's mind. "Grandad can't help himself. Anyway, _you_ always treat us special, so it makes up for it."

The girls' mother hugged Nancy and said, "She's right, Mom. It all equals out. But, still, does he have to be so obvious?" She said it without any emotion. It was just a subject of curiosity.

"It's a Y chromosome thing, obviously," the younger granddaughter said. "Grandad's just so happy to be out there with those four creatures who share his Y chromosome, handed down from father to son every generation."

"Good one," her sister said.

_My granddaughter is right_ , Nancy thought. She recalled something from thirteen years ago. When Aaron was four, a few months after their younger son abandoned him and his mother and they had moved in with Nancy and Charles, her husband took him for a DNA test. Only Nancy ever knew about it. Charles had said, "I'll be damned if I'm going to support somebody else's grandson."

Today's touch football game looked like the ones from years past, except that Aaron, who had always been the smallest of them was now taller than his youngest cousin and maybe even Charles. Nancy watched Jordan execute a perfect snap to David who looked at his receivers and then lobbed the football to Aaron, who dropped it when he started to run too soon. Though Aaron looked like an athlete, he still couldn't catch the football. She thought of David and whispered, "Bless his heart."

The others in the kitchen were still talking about the male chromosome.

"It's always about _testicles_ with men, isn't it?" the oldest granddaughter asserted, eliciting laughter.

Later in the evening, Nancy was reminiscing again while hearing all the male voices in the garage where her son had set up a ping-pong table. Aaron's was the only voice she didn't hear among the yelling of her husband, son, son-in-law and three other grandsons. She couldn't help feeling this was an important time for Aaron, Charles, and Dawn and for her but she didn't know why.

It was the absence of Aaron's voice that prompted a distant memory. After Aaron had failed in little league, basketball, soccer and football—all very tiresome for Nancy who had to drive him from place to place—Charles had insisted the eleven-year-old take Tae Kwando classes. Charles was unhappy from the start because Aaron was too defensive. "He never wants to take the fight to the other boy," Charles complained, not caring that Aaron would overhear.

Ironically, Charles was absent the only time Aaron won a match. Nancy was glad, actually, because she saw it and would never mention it to anyone. Aaron's opponent had taunted and bullied him for days, she found out later, and then he took the same attitude into the match. Aaron had lost his temper and fought back fiercely. The coach admonished Aaron for poor sportsmanship and the whole experience was humiliating for the boy. Nancy hadn't known what to say to comfort him.

She opened the door into the garage to watch the male members of her family for a few seconds. Aaron was seated on a stool, calmly observing the play and smiling. Nancy suddenly felt guilty. Was this what was bothering her? She regretted now not having been closer to Aaron. She really was the only mother fate had given him and she had let him down. It just seemed like the years went by so fast.

# CHAPTER 7

He showed up just five minutes after she called him, the day after Christmas. Her family had returned the night before from her grandparents. Michelle watched from the head of the stairs. Her father shook his hand. Her mother hugged him and then touched his forehead.

"Oh, my! I'd forgotten how hot you get when you are running," Mom told him.

"How far did you go today, buddy?" Daddy asked.

"10 K."

"She's in her room," Daddy said. "Go on up."

"Thanks, Mr. Durand," Aaron said as he rushed to the stairs and took them two at a time.

Michelle led him to her room and closed the door behind them. Aaron was wearing the shirt she gave him.

"It looks great. It brings out your blue eyes," she said, fingering the hem at the front.

"I thought they were green."

"These are green." She pushed her fingers behind her earlobes to call his attention to little teddy bears of green and white Costa Rican Jade mounted on sterling silver that his host mother had helped him choose. "I love them."

"I'm really glad."

She hugged him and then quickly pushed him away, holding him at arm's length. "Oh. _Mamá tiene razon. Tu eres caliente!"_

"You mean _tienes calor._ You wanted to say 'you have heat' but you said 'you are hot' as in sexy. _"_

She rolled her eyes. "Ok. You feel hot and you are sexy. Satisfied?"

"Yeah. I took a shower after my run. Do I smell ok?"

"You smell great. My favorite combination of Axe Body Spray and Aaron."

"Um, ok."

"So, how did your relatives like the new and improved, smoking-hot Aaron?"

"Well..." He gave her a weary look.

"Oh, you know you love it. Come on, flash me for a dollar."

Without a second's hesitation, Aaron pulled his shirt up, exposing his abs, navel and the thin trail of hair leading up from his waistband.

"You'll never get any beads at Mardi Gras with that," she said with a chuckle. It was not exactly what she asked for, but it was more than she expected and it was pretty good. She gestured as if to tickle him. He dropped his shirt.

"It's so good to see you relaxed and laughing," she told him. "You seemed so down last year, I was kind of worried." Michelle mentioned a classmate who had attempted suicide while Aaron was gone.

He gave her a mystified look.

"I feel like I can bring this up now." They took their usual positions on the bed and the chair and she continued. "Your grandfather has always been such an asshole to you and I know it got you down."

"Yeah." Aaron seemed like he was about to downplay the central challenge of his life but then his expression changed. He shook his head. "Yeah."

"Now you're different. Still _painfully_ shy but you seem to overcome it. I feel like I don't have to worry about you so much now. I don't, do I?"

"You didn't ever have to. I haven't been _that_ unhappy."

He wasn't very convincing. She doubted if he believed it himself.

"Well, now you seem so much happier. I'm sure you'll still be an obsessive freak about homework and grades but at least you're enjoying life."

Michelle, of course, knew about the Donut Dash and his lunch with the guys from the park. She had learned at least the gist of everything that had been said and that he had enjoyed himself very much. Without introduction, she asked, "Do you think any of those guys are gay? Danny, Matthew or Justin?"

"I don't think so."

"Well, not Matthew, obviously. He was flirting with me."

Aaron nodded.

"I guess there wouldn't have been an opportunity to bring it up if they were...gay, I mean," she continued. "Maybe if any of them were married or dating, you know, one of the two women or each other, then you would be able to figure it out, but if everybody's just there as a single, who's going to say, _Hey, I'm gay_?"

Aaron shrugged. "I really don't think any of them are gay."

"A lot of people are coming out early these days, still in high school. They're like, _it's my right to be who I am._ I think that's pretty good."

"No one in our school, though," Aaron pointed out.

"That you know of. People have to trust each other." Aaron didn't admit anything to Michelle, but she thought he did look very thoughtful. "Not everybody gets that," she told him.

A few moments of silence went by and then Michelle said, "Well, anyway, I want us to be really close friends-ones who can tell each other anything."

Aaron nodded.

"First, though, I want a kiss. A Christmas kiss and it has to be a good one."

"Well, Christmas is over."

She gave him a cute scowl and stared until he relented.

"Ok," he said, smiling.

She took his hands in hers and pulled him up from her desk chair and had him stand facing her. He softened his expression. Looking into her eyes, he tilted his head and leaned toward her. She knew he was acting and that amused her. She had to look up to him and raise her face to his. She closed the last few inches between them and pressed her lips against his.

Aaron didn't pull away like she expected. He kissed back, his lips were relaxed and he moved his head and his mouth. They kept at it. Michelle slid her tongue through his lips. She thought, _maybe he's not enjoying this but I sure am_. Then she cupped his butt with her hands. She expected him to pull back then but instead, his lips stretched into a smile while he kept kissing her. He started to laugh, just a little. Then, with almost no forethought, Michelle moved her right hand to the front of Aaron's jeans and placed it firmly on his genitals. She could feel his penis and testicles through the fabric. It felt great. When she made no move to stop, he finally did pull away. They both laughed, but not that much.

"Was this your first kiss?" Michelle asked.

"Yes."

"You're pretty good." She was blushing and felt her heart racing. As far as she could tell, he didn't show any affect from what they had just done, he certainly didn't get a hard-on, but he did seem to be in a good mood.

"I always wonder what boys feel when they're kissing a girl." She said it as though she weren't expecting a response.

"How was it with Joshua?" he asked.

She assumed he meant, how did his kissing compare to Joshua's, but she wasn't sure. "Well, he has more experience but I think you have more...um, natural talent. Plus it helps when you blink and show off your eyelashes. God, you have pretty eyes."

"So do you."

"Did it bother you, Aaron?"

"Not really. It made me feel closer to you."

They didn't say anything for a few minutes but they were both grinning. Aaron broke the silence.

"It's kind of funny that I get to kiss the prettiest girl in the school, in her bedroom, with the door closed and nobody cares.

"Well, don't brag about it, Mr. Bangable!"

# CHAPTER 8

The week after Christmas saw the low temperatures fall below freezing four mornings in a row prompting Daisy to whimper each night in the early hours at Aaron's bedside. He would wake to see her face near his at the side of the mattress. She was asking to be allowed under the covers. He would tell her, "You can come up," and then would lift the sheet and blanket for her to crawl in. During these days, they relived their early years when the dog had slept nightly in the boy's narrow twin bed before last year when he grew too big for her to fit comfortably. Cold nights would always find her back under the covers next to her best friend.

Aaron met his new friends for a run in a park or high school track every evening. They went to places with night-time lighting since the other three didn't get off work until after the sun had set. He enjoyed the before and after chats and usually ran at his companions' pace until the last mile when he would take off at top speed.

Aaron presented himself as an adult with these three and the other people he encountered after he returned. They treated him as an adult. He reminded himself to be more outgoing, to look people in the eye and see others as complete persons rather than just a mix of impressions. He credited his trip abroad for his ability to interact comfortably with Danny, Justin and Matthew. That is not to say he didn't also enjoy the opportunity to be close to three such attractive guys. He really did enjoy seeing them in their singlets and nylon running shorts.

After more time spent with them, Aaron revisited the question of whether any were gay. He observed that Justin was the most soft-spoken of the three and the likeliest candidate but Aaron couldn't really tell. Danny was a mystery; he was quite macho but never talked about women. Aaron acknowledged that even Matthew could be fooling everyone with all his talk about women. However, if Aaron had been challenged to offer an opinion on all three, he would have said they were straight and blamed wishful thinking on the doubts he entertained.

***

On Tuesday, Aaron texted Danny at work. The young vet confirmed that the job was a real possibility. The office manager instructed Danny to tell Aaron to come in on Thursday.

Aaron had one important task before the interview. He was nervous about asking Grandad if he could have a part-time job. He did his preparation. He verified that he would have enough units to graduate in June and checked the school's requirements for work-study programs. He was encouraged when his class counselor responded to an e-mail with confirmation that he would be able to get his plan approved. She told him to go ahead and she scheduled an appointment for him at 8:15 on the first day of school to finalize his new class schedule. With his preparation and a promise that his grades wouldn't suffer, Aaron found Grandad agreeable. Actually, he seemed fairly positive toward the idea of Aaron getting a paying job.

He was nervous again when he went for his interview with Danny's uncle, Dr. Avila. Aaron had to admit sadly that he hadn't changed in that respect. He was stressed when he arrived and struggled to get his first words out, but Nora, the office manager and the doctor's assistant Julie put him at ease immediately. Dr. Avila only spoke to him briefly. He cut their interview short, telling Aaron, "We'll have time to get to know you later."

Before he left that morning, Nora gave Aaron his new hire date: next Tuesday afternoon, January 3rd. That was also the day classes at Kennedy High would resume. In the past, Grandad and others had ridiculed Aaron's difficulty making decisions but when it came to Danny's job offer, this was a new Aaron. He had wanted that job and did what was necessary to get it.

***

His new friends had no idea how important their overtures were in the teen's life. They liked him but were definitely less concerned about his role in their lives. Still, just as he wondered about them, they debated whether he was gay.

On New Year's Eve, in the afternoon, after the running club participated in another formal 10K race and Aaron finished among the top five of two hundred runners of all ages, Aaron turned down Matthew's invitation to go out for drinks.

"They won't let me in the bar," he reminded him.

"Oh...can't you get a fake ID?"

When Aaron hesitated, Matthew said, "Joking! I'm an officer of the court, remember? But I guess that means you won't be my wingman tonight."

Aaron shrugged.

At the bar later that evening Danny brought up the subject of Aaron again. Matthew was positive Aaron was straight. Danny and Justin voiced their doubts.

"What about the blonde girl," Matthew asked.

"I don't know," Danny said. "Maybe you're right but I get some vibes that say otherwise."

"Yeah. I know why. It's what you _want_ it to be. You'd like to tap that hot ass, wouldn't you?" Matthew demanded.

Danny grinned.

Justin said, "Look for someone closer to our age, preferably with a good paying job."

"I'm not talking about marrying him, Jay," Danny replied. "I just want to fuck him in the showers at the dorm."

"Asshole," Justin responded, good-naturedly.

# CHAPTER 9

Tuesday, the third of January, was the beginning of a new phase of Aaron's life. Things really did change for him. First, at the 8:15 meeting with the senior class counselor she showed him that he could get all his classes in the morning, get work/study credit for his job and get home study credit for the running he would do anyway with his club. For that, all he would have to do was pass several tests, turn in an essay and have a parent sign off on the physical activity. He would finish the semester with units to spare.

Twenty minutes later, Aaron interrupted Mrs. Walkes' senior English class. She greeted him by name and he was welcomed by Jared, Raymond and other friends he hadn't seen since last school year. "You missed Beowulf" Raymond told him, "but you're back in time for Macbeth."

Aaron was surprised to find himself a minor celebrity upon his return to school. A friend and fellow senior wanted to interview him for a story in the school paper. The Spanish teachers booked him to speak to their classes. It also struck Aaron that he and his classmates had matured over the last six months. Everyone seemed good-natured and approving of each other.

Day 1 on the job was good. In the office, within minutes, his two female co-workers were treating him like teacher's pet. His one semester of accounting would be sufficient to give them the help they needed. Danny showed him the big Dodge Magnum station wagon he would use to run errands. Danny and Dr. Avila expected him to take it to and from home and school so that he could respond to the clinic's work demands.

"It's one of the perks," Danny said, teasing. The car was twenty years old and painted a drab green. "Not exactly a chick magnet, eh?"

"Um...good. That will keep me out of trouble," was Aaron's comeback.

Aaron settled into a routine: morning classes, pick up lunch for Danny and his office mates, a forty minute run with Danny (that was an unexpected benefit), then work from 2:00 to 6:00, either cleaning up or helping with the books or making pick-ups and occasional deliveries of drugs or animals. After thirteen years having it at six o'clock, his grandparents switched dinner time to six thirty to accommodate Aaron's schedule. Afterwards, he did homework and assigned reading, usually with Michelle at her house and then returned home by ten and was asleep within fifteen minutes. A few times, to fill in for the night person, Aaron was asked to sleep over at the kennel on a cot, but always with advance notice for his grandfather to give permission. On one of these occasions, Aaron had to call Danny to come for an urgent medical issue. It all worked out well.

Not unexpectedly, it didn't take Aaron long to realize he was developing a crush on Danny. He was nice and nice-looking and it was a familiar feeling for Aaron, reminding him of earlier crushes on Raymond and Jared and before them, boys in primary school, and after them, Ramiro. The one constant, Aaron knew, was that all those before Danny were straight. He still believed Danny was straight as well and destined to be another one of his _classic_ straight guy crushes.

Things settled down with Michelle on the subject of sexuality. She caught him, once, showing a little too much interest in her experience with Joshua. He backed off and she let him off without challenging him. He expected the questions would start up again soon but for now, they concentrated on academic work, college preparation and general gossip about their class.

***

Just a week into the new year, the young veterinarian Dr. Quintana, office manager Nora and the medical assistant Julie witnessed the first meeting of Leticia Quintana and the young man who would soon become another of her favorites.

Nora and Leticia were best friends since high school and in her spare time, Nora did the bookkeeping for Quintana Orchards. Leticia dropped by the clinic frequently and at least twice a month, Daniel's mother would bring lunch for the staff. They would prepare their plates and eat in the break area at the back of the room behind the front desk. Nora had already told Leticia about the sweet-tempered part-time employee her son had recruited from his running club. Julie didn't know Leticia as well as the other two but it was no surprise to her that Mrs. Quintana would be drawn to Aaron. Even though he was just a couple of inches short of six feet, with man-sized feet and a serious manner, there was something about him that suggested he needed mothering. Danny, of course, could have predicted that his mom would adopt Aaron as one of her expanded brood. She had a history of embracing all her children's friends, especially the shy, quiet ones.

"You look like an angel. You both do," Leticia told the young man. Nora had brought Leticia to his workspace in the back of the office for introductions and she had picked up a childhood photograph that she spotted on the desktop. It showed him with a tiny puppy.

"Daisy may have been an angel but I got into a lot of trouble," he replied cheerfully.

"Oh, I doubt that. What did you do to get in trouble?" Leticia asked.

"I don't know but I always remember my grandfather taking me aside and trying to straighten me out."

"All right, I'll take your word for it. As long as you're well-behaved now..."

"I am."

"Well then come and have lunch with us, Aaron."

By the end of the lunch hour, Leticia was delighted with Aaron's good manners and his fluent Spanish with a Costa Rican accent. Naturally she teased her son that Aaron spoke his great grandparent's language so much better than he.

She also found a chance to comment privately to Nora on the boy's blue-green eyes that were a delightful contrast to Danny's brown eyes, his eyebrows which were thinner and more curved than Danny's but equally striking especially so black against his white skin, and his nose, like Danny's, not small but very sharp and attractive. Nora wondered at the time what prompted Leticia to compare the two handsome young men's features. Two months later she would understand.

Aaron got to know the rest of Danny's family. He met the father two weeks after he started work while driving Dr. Avila on a farm visit. Danny's youngest sister Amy was there and talked to him briefly about Sacramento State where she was in her second year. Leticia chatted with Aaron again a week later when she recruited him to carry the cake and decorations for Julie's birthday celebration from her car to the office. He spent even more time with both parents at a Saturday party at their big farmhouse that all the staff members were invited to. It was her brother, Dr. Avila's birthday.

Seated next to him on the couch that day, Aaron felt a little intimidated by Danny's father. Enrique Quintana was gruff or, Aaron thought, _macho or tough, whatever you call it._ _Enrique and Grandad have that same manner about them_. It was what his grandmother called, "being a real man's man." _Danny has that too. What about Matthew and Justin?_ _Not so much. And me? Not at all._

Leticia joined them and made things easier and after that Danny's father seemed to go out of his way to make Aaron more comfortable. By the end of the afternoon, it was clear to Aaron that Leticia and Enrique liked him. The father also approved of his Spanish fluency and both parents asked to hear about his travels. He was surprised at how quickly they embraced him.

Later with Michelle, he joked, "Forget being friends with Danny, I'm in love with Leticia. I feel so good around her."

"Hey, what about me?" Michelle teased.

"It's kind of the same thing," Aaron told her very seriously. "I always have so much more confidence when I'm with you, too."

***

As the month of January neared an end, Aaron felt acceptance at school and his job. He was happy. He couldn't truthfully say he was being himself, though, because he was making such an effort to be outgoing-looking people in the eye and speaking up-and trying to present himself as an adult. He was also, he knew, hiding an important part of himself from everyone.

The job now took the place of cross country and track in getting him out of the house. David was right in his advice to escape as much as he could. There still hadn't been any confrontations with Grandad like the ones they use to have, but Aaron could often sense his disapproval. Grandad didn't like him helping his grandmother in the kitchen. Obviously, real men don't cook or clean up. Aaron knew Grandad didn't like the hair style that he had come back with from Costa Rica. Ramiro's mom and sister had picked it out. Grandad deemed it girlish, like a member of a teenage boy band, but Grandma insisted it would attract girls. Aaron's failure to show interest in the National Football League playoffs was also commented upon. Overall, however, Grandad was leaving a lot unsaid and Aaron wanted to keep it that way.

# CHAPTER 10

One Saturday in late January, Danny asked Aaron to go to the dry cleaners to pick up his suit. They had been pushing the clock. It was an unusually warm day, in the sixties, and they had taken a late afternoon run after a half a day at the clinic. The track wasn't far from Danny's house but Danny had left himself little time to get ready for a banquet dinner at UC Davis and to pack for an early morning flight. After the run, Aaron drove Danny's Highlander to the driveway of his townhouse. Danny jumped out and Aaron continued a few miles on to the cleaners.

Still wearing his baggy khaki-colored nylon exercise shorts, running shoes and a dark green tee shirt that fortunately didn't look as sweaty as it was, Aaron felt a little self-conscious but he'd left his jeans and hoodie in the Dodge, so there was no alternative but to walk into the busy shop with his legs exposed.

When he carried the suit on a hanger covered in plastic to Danny's front door, it was the third time Aaron had been to the townhouse. It was a single story, with a single-car garage up front and the entrance in a small porch back on the right. Danny's unit shared a wall with his neighbor.

Aaron could see into the living room through the screen door. He could hear music and water running, both sounds coming from the back. Following Danny's instructions, he came in and took the suit through the small hall that led to the bedrooms. The door to the master bedroom suite was open. Aaron went in, intending to lay the suit on the bed. He called out to Danny to let him know he was there.

Aaron saw the door from the bathroom open. Still damp from the shower, with a large white towel wrapped around his waist, Danny walked into an open area in front of the sink and mirror. He greeted Aaron with a loud "hello" and then, "thanks, man."

Several times, Aaron had seen Danny changing his shirt and of course he was accustomed to the sight of his bare legs but this was the first time Aaron got a good look at Danny's shoulders, chest and abs. The towel hung low under his flat belly showing dark hairs scattered up to his navel. Danny's chest had some sparse hair in the center and his skin was a very light cocoa. His black hair was tousled and shiny.

Aaron's involuntary reaction was the dropping of his jaw followed by a gasp. He stared. Danny stopped. A look of surprise gave way to a broad smile. Danny crossed the room to Aaron. His bare feet made soft slapping sounds on the tile. He took the clothing from Aaron's hand and placed it on the bed next to a suitcase. When Danny turned back to Aaron, he lowered his gaze to Aaron's crotch. Aaron's other involuntary reaction involved a surge of blood to his cock that began even before the gasp. He followed Danny's eyes to the expanding prominence in his shorts.

Danny smiled. He stood only inches from Aaron, closer than they had ever been. Aaron noticed that with his shoes on he was nearly as tall as Danny without shoes. It was a random thought. Aaron looked at Danny's face as he came closer. _Beautiful black eyebrows, long and symmetric. Deep dark, intense eyes. Handsome nose. So masculine. So Latin._ Danny angled his head slightly and placed his lips on Aaron's.

Aaron reacted to the moist touch of his lips with an electric sensation that coursed through his body and cycled between his groin and his mouth. He breathed in a masculine scent of shampoo and heard Danny make an "mmm" sound. Their mouths opened at the same time and Danny's tongue pushed into Aaron.

Without being aware, Aaron had placed his hands on Danny's chest. He moved his fingertips over Danny's chest hair and then, with his thumbs, discovered Danny's erect nipples. Suddenly, Aaron felt Danny's hand on the front of his shorts. It felt really big and it easily covered Aaron's entire pubic area. Danny placed his hand firmly against Aaron's groin, pushing his fingers through the fabric to the lower side of Aaron's cock. Freeing it from the slight constriction of the inner liner, Danny pushed it upward to its natural angle. He rotated his hand and moved the palm downward on the shaft bringing his fingers to Aaron's balls. He moved them gently through the layers of nylon. Aaron felt waves of pleasure. Danny's kiss had continued. He pushed against Aaron's mouth causing him to shift his weight back on his heels. Danny's other hand now encompassed Aaron's right glute. The fingers were extended and each fingertip pressed into the hard muscle. Danny's little finger was just inches from Aaron's asshole and its touch evoked a completely new sensation. Danny brought their hips together. Aaron felt Danny's erection against his. He felt an even greater rush of excitement.

Aaron's hands clung to Danny's shoulders. The two young men ended the first kiss but began the second one almost immediately. Then Danny pulled his head back and stared at Aaron. His moist eyes and huge smile gave Aaron another erotic thrill. Even more, it gave him the feeling of basking in a warm glow of Danny's entire being.

"I guess we answered that question," Danny said cheerfully.

Aaron nodded, agreeing to...he didn't know what. He realized he was flushed and trembling slightly.

"Fuck. We should have figured this out sooner," Danny said. "I've got to get dressed, man. Sorry. I'll make it up to you when I get back next week. We'll spend some quality time together then, ok?" Danny's tone was light but also suggestive. He took a step away and reached for his shirt. At the same time, his eyes were on Aaron. He looked at him from head to foot. "Aaron, buddy, you are one nice-looking man," he said, laughing, "but I really can't be late. I'm introducing the guest speaker."

Aaron still wasn't thinking clearly. He thought he needed to go so that Danny could get ready but his feet didn't respond to his command. He turned toward the door and was about to leave when he felt Danny grasp his upper arm.

"You better wait in the living room for a while. You can't go outside with that huge hard-on," Danny told him.

"Yeah. I'll..." Aaron did move now.

Danny called out again. Aaron turned and Danny took his picture with his iPhone.

"I'll finish getting dressed and then I'll drop you at your car," he told Aaron.

***

Danny Q

It's official!

Justin Yang was the first to know. At seven that evening, he sat at his desk in the living room of his apartment, shopping for a new router, when his phone signaled an incoming message. He read the subject and tapped Danny's name to open the message.

It was a picture. Justin scrolled a headshot of Aaron. Aaron's dark hair was mussed and hanging down to his eyes. His eyelids, with their long black lashes, were about a quarter closed. He was flushed and his mouth was open enough to reveal the bottoms of his front teeth and the tip of his tongue. The caption just below the picture read _Freak!_

Justin looked at the picture longer than usual. The overall impression it gave was of an adorable young guy who had just had sex. Justin assumed he and Danny had gone all the way.

Justin's curiosity was satisfied, at least. He was not really jealous. Aaron was cute and hot but to Justin he seemed more like a little brother. Justin and Danny had been inseparable as young adolescents and they had fooled around some but they'd never really been attracted sexually so Justin wasn't jealous of either of them.

Justin realized the emotion he was feeling was worry. He knew Danny well enough to guess what had happened between the two. He hoped Aaron wasn't the type to get swept off his feet after the first date or...whatever it was he and Danny had done together on Saturday because it could be awkward afterwards. Aaron had become a member of their circle of friends and neither Justin nor Matthew nor the girls would be happy if Danny jeopardized the tranquility of their social group.

Maybe it wasn't as bad as Justin feared. Yes, Danny had had sex with a few guys in college and some of it was kind of sleazy, in Justin's opinion. But really, that just meant Danny didn't always know their last names. Justin acknowledged that, in this case, he might be misjudging his best friend.

# CHAPTER 11

Fate had pre-arranged a cooling off period for these two potential lovers. After the banquet, Danny checked into the airport hotel. He would spend the night and leave early Sunday on a journey to Kansas State University for a continuing education seminar. He would not return until Tuesday night.

Aaron was already scheduled to miss his shift next Wednesday because of a field trip to Sacramento State. Mrs. Walkes' class and all the other senior English classes were going to see a performance of _Twelfth Night_. Whatever would happen next would begin on Thursday.

***

The fact that Danny rushed to share the photo with his lifelong friend told something about his reaction to what happened in his bedroom. As soon as he closed the door of his hotel room Saturday night, Danny was working out just how he felt. _Fuck, it was exciting!_

The subject of Aaron had been something of a puzzle these last few weeks for Danny. He was so serious and hardworking, he sometimes seemed older than the rest of them but his enthusiasm for life, his boyish face and adolescent's body reminded Danny he was the nineteen or twenty-year-old they knew him to be. He had entered their lives in a way that immediately made him a part of the running group, Danny's workplace group and his social group. Danny had felt some attraction from the start. _Obviously, who wouldn't?_ He had acknowledged it to himself without making much out of it. Danny was fairly busy still in his first year as a veterinarian but he did look forward to getting back into a social life here in his new location. He really hadn't intended that Aaron would be the first partner of his new life and actually, he _did_ think of what Justin was worried about, risking a friendship with sex. He wouldn't have started anything but then Aaron made it so clear this afternoon in Danny's bedroom that he was up for it. Aaron's reaction had really turned him on.

Danny placed his suit jacket and slacks carefully into his garment bag, pulled out his jeans and polo shirt for the flight and stripped off socks and briefs before sliding between the sheets. It had been an intense erotic encounter that left him eager for more. He felt instantly optimistic, looking forward to their reunion on Thursday and the days to follow. It had been way too long since he'd enjoyed time with a hot guy and this one was really nice, too.

_One thing I'm sure of,_ Danny thought now, recalling the connection they had made, _Aaron is definitely gay. Horny straight guys do not react that strongly_. He smiled to himself. _I know that from experience._ _So how much experience do I think Aaron has_? _He seemed like he knew what he was doing when we kissed and he used his hands skillfully. It also seemed like he was ready to go down on me, so..._

***

It wasn't until Justin spoke to Danny Monday night that he learned it had just been a quick grope on the way out the door. Danny had not sent the photo to brag about a score but to share the answer to a question they had been debating for a month now. Danny didn't say what he planned to do next but he seemed eager to come home. Did that mean that Danny was interested in starting a serious relationship along the lines of what Leticia had lectured them about or that he was excited about finding a companion for sex?

"I'm not surprised that Aaron is gay, I'm just surprised you see him as such a desirable partner," Justin said when Danny called to talk in person from Kansas City on Monday. "He seems kind of young, he still lives with his parents and he's got at least two more years of college."

"You're right, Jay, but..." Danny said dismissively, "well, there is, of course, his ass."

"Yeah, alright, you prick. When do you think you'll spread those cheeks?"

"Fuck, Yang. Don't get me thinking about it. I've got a class to go to."

Their conversation answered Justin's question as to Danny's plans for Aaron.

***

Michelle knew something important had happened between Aaron and one of the three guys he had been hanging out with. She still leaned toward excluding Matthew from consideration and her limited knowledge caused her to guess Danny was the other party rather than Justin. Aaron had texted her Saturday night and three times Sunday with hints but he wanted to see her in person. It was Monday night at their regular homework session before they could talk alone. By then her curiosity was piqued and she had no intention of working until she got the story.

He was in his regular spot in her desk chair; she had been propped up against the headboard with her backrest pillow when he came in but now she was at the edge of the bed leaning toward him. Aaron's eyes were wide and he couldn't seem to keep his hands still.

"Ok, ok. What happened?" she demanded.

He looked down at the floor, exhaled and then raised his face to hers. "He kissed me. Danny kissed me."

"Oh my god! When? How did it happen?"

"At his house. Saturday after our run. I brought him something he needed and he just walked across the room and kissed me."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything?"

She looked at him in disbelief.

"Well...I kissed him back."

"Why do you think he kissed you then? What led up to it?"

She saw the hesitation in his face. She shook her head in warning.

"Ok. What happened was he came out of the shower wearing just a towel and I reacted. I kind of gasped."

"You gasped?"

"Hey, I almost fainted. He is so beautiful. He's the hottest guy I've ever seen."

"I see," she said staring at him like a police investigator. " _So_...does this mean Aaron is officially admitting he's a gay boy? A tall, dark, slim, sexy gay boy?"

"Yes. Definitely. Aaron is gay alright. He's so gay you wouldn't believe it."

"Oh, I believe it."

"Thank god! I wanted to tell somebody for so long." He shook his head in amazement.

They were silent for a few seconds then Michelle asked, "How did it compare to my kiss? Tell me. It won't hurt my feelings."

"Your lips are softer and his chin had some stubble even though he had just shaved," Aaron teased.

"But your reaction was different?"

Aaron nodded. "It was so exciting. It was like being hypnotized. I couldn't think about anything but him holding me and the feel of his lips and his tongue."

"Wow!" She looked up to the ceiling shaking her head. "Oh, by the way, did he grab your butt and your package the way I did?"

Aaron didn't answer but his reaction told her.

"Oh, my god! Did you get an erection?"

"Yes. So did he."

"That's good. Did his towel come off?"

"No." Aaron related the sudden end to the episode and the promise of more time together when Danny would return.

Sharing with Michelle made it even better. She was amazing, he told her. "You ask for my experience and it helps me understand what happened. I don't care if when I tell you I look stupid, or scared, or immature. It's just so real."

She was looking at him. Specifically, she was looking at his legs, his crotch, his stomach, his chest and his face.

"What?"

"It just feels a little odd. I've seen you so many years and I've thought about it before but now _I'm having trouble picturing you having sex. You're too cute for that."_

" _Oh..."_

"Don't worry it's just me. I guarantee Danny feels differently. And Aaron..."

"Yes?"

"When it happens, I want to hear about it."

"Ok. And Michelle..."

"Yes?" she asked with a smile.

"Thank you for getting me here. I really _was_ going down last year. You kept me from sinking-you held me above the water."

"You're welcome."

# CHAPTER 12

In the morning Wednesday, Danny received Aaron's latest text reminding him that Danny would have to pick up lunch for their office mates because Aaron was checking out Shakespeare today. Danny had texted back, "I think I can handle that. BTW, I've got something to show you tomorrow."

At noon, Nora phoned in the sandwich orders and Danny drove four blocks to pick them up.

Back now with the food, Danny followed his co-workers to the back office and took a seat at the desk Aaron used two or three hours each day for his accounting work. The women were chatting affably in the break area. While he ate and listened, Danny happened to pick up a photograph from the desk top. It was a color print of a small boy and a puppy, Aaron and Daisy, both endearing.

Danny chuckled. He knew why it was there on the desk. The office manager had a digital picture frame on display in the lobby that alternated shots of each employee with their pet. Some customers had provided their own additions to the rotation as well. This picture of Aaron had been scanned and loaded into the device a few weeks ago. What Danny had never noticed before was just how young the boy in the picture appeared. Danny knew Daisy's age. He had written _thirteen_ on her chart when he examined her for her teeth cleaning. He thought he knew Aaron's approximate age. Matthew had said he was nineteen or twenty. If that were true, he would have been seven or eight when the photo was taken. Danny was positive Aaron was probably four and no more than five when he held the tiny puppy to the camera.

Danny took out his phone and did a search for "Aaron Larkin." Several articles appeared in the search engine describing local high school track meets. He opened one from last spring and saw Aaron's name under a photograph of the winner in the 3200 meter race. He was described as a junior from Robert F. Kennedy High School.

"Fucking O'Kelly," Danny whispered. He thought back over their first meeting and everything since. Aaron hadn't lied; Matthew just screwed up. Aaron wasn't going to be a transferring junior at Sacramento State in September. Instead, he had been a high school junior when he left for Costa Rica and was going to start as a freshman, after graduating in June. Even Danny had contributed to the confusion when he had asked Aaron about "going over" to Sac State. Danny had meant transferring there from American River College where Matthew claimed Aaron was a student. Aaron had confirmed Danny's statement, thinking he meant "going over" to that part of town.

Danny called across the room. "Nora, when is Aaron's birthday?"

"In March. Want me to look up the date?"

"Not now. He'll be eighteen, right."

"That's right. A milestone, the first of many. We'll have to get him a cake."

"Good idea."

_This could be a problem,_ Danny thought. He had only told Justin. Hopefully Justin hadn't talked to Matthew. Danny didn't want Matthew or anyone else to kno _w_ he had groped an underage guy. It was worse because he could be considered the guy's boss. Danny thought about how hot Aaron was but he had no problem abandoning the idea of having sex with him. _There are a lot of hot guys out there_ , he told himself.

He looked at his phone again. He and Aaron had exchanged eight text messages since Saturday. He reread each one. It wasn't too bad. They'd both made suggestive comments but they could seem harmless.

Danny began working on a plan. He had until tomorrow around noon to figure out how to handle the problem of Aaron.

# CHAPTER 13

Aaron had never looked forward to anything as much as he did going to his job Thursday. He left his Civics class and headed directly to the student parking lot. Before he started the old green Dodge wagon, he phoned Nora to find out where to pick up the lunch order today. She told him he didn't need to. "Doctor wants to see you as soon as you get here."

That made him nervous. _Why does Dr. Avila want to see me?_ _Did I forget to do something?_ Then he thought, _Maybe she meant Dr. Quintana. I know I'd like to see him. All of him._ That thought cheered him for the rest of the drive.

When he pulled into the parking lot, Danny was standing outside with a gym bag. He waved for Aaron to drive up to the building. Danny opened the passenger door and got in.

"Change of plans, buddy," Danny said. "Drive out to Sunrise Avenue."

It took a little while to figure out what the change of plans was. Danny wasn't exactly explaining everything. They ended up at the big YMCA facility that Justin managed. Danny explained that since the weather was going to be unpredictable until spring, they were going to switch to indoor workouts for the next couple of months. They could both use some weight training and they'd have a free coach in Justin. They would swim laps in the pool for aerobic training and then have lunch with Justin.

"I don't have the right gear," Aaron said, still feeling confused.

"No problem. Justin has what you need."

Almost as soon as they entered the glass doors of the facility, Aaron found himself separated from Danny. Justin took him into the men's locker room. He gave him shoes and socks, a shirt and shorts and a key lock and told him to meet him at the weight machines. In the company of five other men, all older, Aaron felt uncomfortable as he stripped and pulled on the clean, used exercise clothing.

When he rejoined Justin, Danny was already in shorts and a tee shirt and was working out at the other side of the large room. Aaron wondered where he had dressed. Justin took Aaron through a strenuous circuit of about half the machines. After twenty minutes, he led him back to the locker room. He gave him a pair of polyester swim briefs and told him to rinse off and meet him at the pool, just beyond the men's shower and sauna area.

Wet and almost naked, Aaron walked out of the showers through the men's entrance to the side of the pool. Justin handed him new goggles and ear plugs, still in their packaging. There were a few other people swimming laps. Aaron felt embarrassed in the tiny, body-hugging suit. He hoped at least to find Danny at the pool but he wasn't there. Aaron followed Justin's orders and began his laps.

He wasn't a skillful swimmer which, to Aaron, meant he was getting a more challenging workout but he wondered if he'd be able to keep up the effort as long as Justin planned, especially after the weight training. Feeling a twinge of rebellion, Aaron thought, _it would serve Justin right if he has to jump in to rescue me, maybe ruining his shoes, wallet and watch._

During their conversations in the car and at the facility, Danny and later Justin acted very friendly and positive. They both seemed to think Aaron should be happy to be training here instead of at a track or on a trail running alone with Danny. _Am I missing something?_ Aaron wondered.

The swimming drill lasted just thirty-five minutes. Aaron showered and dressed and then made his way to Justin's office where he found the two of them ready for a lunch of sandwiches and sodas. It was the first time he could get close to Danny but Justin stayed there until it was time for them to return to the veterinary clinic.

It bothered him that this day was turning out to be _not at all_ what he'd hoped for, but he was consoled by Danny's attention to him. Danny asked him about himself, about his cross country and track experience, and about his studies. He had Aaron describe the play he had been to and asked about his relationship with Michelle. He was being really nice and was already talking about coming back tomorrow together. Still, what Aaron wanted, craved really, was another kiss like last Saturday's.

***

That evening, Aaron described the unexpected development to Michelle. Her reaction of surprise and concern matched his. He hadn't confronted Danny about what was going on and tonight, they both chose not to speculate.

"We'll see what happens," Michelle said with a solemn shrug. Aaron agreed.

She had some interesting news. Ramiro had e-mailed her. Just to introduce himself and extend greetings to "a beautiful friend of Aaron Larkin." Her disclosure brought a smile to Aaron's face-and a fond memory of his Costa Rican friend's shoulders and chest.

***

At least Sunday's run was unchanged from the old routine. It was cool but dry and Aaron met Matthew, Justin and Danny at a parking lot. They carpooled to one of the entrances to the American River bike path, near the state fair grounds. They mixed it up, running in a group or two by two and talking most of the time. If anything, Danny and the others were even friendlier to him.

By the following Tuesday, Aaron's midday routine with Danny had been established. As he described it that evening to Michelle, "It seems every minute is planned to keep me from being alone with Danny."

"I know,' Michelle agreed sadly.

"I might not be very good at figuring people out," Aaron said, "but I'm catching on. He changed his mind about us getting together. Maybe I'm too immature for him."

Michelle didn't say anything.

Then Aaron said, somewhat hopefully, "It could be because I work for him. His uncle probably wouldn't want Danny dating the employees, in case it could cause trouble. Sexual harassment or whatever. But _ef,_ Michelle, just when I finally find a gay guy who knows I'm gay and it looks like we could like each other, something happens to fuck it up and I don't know what it is."

"Do you want to ask him about it?" Michelle offered. "Maybe if you knew, you could work things out."

Aaron shook his head slowly. "I guess not. There's no reason to make some embarrassing scene when I already know he just wants to be friends." He shook his head firmly. "It takes two. If he doesn't want to kiss me and hug me and touch me..."

"Oh, you poor thing," she said sympathetically.

"I'll get over it."

***

February had a feel all its own. Aaron's weekdays were controlled by a fixed schedule that got him to school, the gym, work, home and to Michelle's at the same time nearly every day. His weekends were filled with homework, a six-hour shift at the clinic and one or two long distance runs. Michelle was usually only available on weeknights. His life was a generally pleasant experience for Aaron. He longed for Danny and actually spent more time with him than any other person. Of course it was exciting and frustrating and he felt a chronic, subtle sadness.

***

Aaron would report another discovery to Michelle during the second week of the month. He, Danny and Justin were having lunch at the table in Justin's office when Danny punched his friend in the shoulder.

"Hey, Yang. You have guests, remember."

Justin's head was hanging down and he was staring at his sandwich with glazed eyes.

"What's the matter, Justin?" Aaron asked, suddenly worried.

"Nothing."

"Oh, ignore him, Aaron. He saw a cute redhead doing sit ups and he can't get over it."

"One of the firemen?"

Danny smiled at Aaron. "You noticed, too, did you? Is that your type?"

Justin spoke for the first time since they sat down. "He's gay, you know."

"Why don't you ask him out?" Danny suggested.

"I can't. Not while I'm on the job." He shook his head ruefully. "I know! I'll wait until I get home and call 911."

Danny rolled his eyes. "That's a great idea."

That night, when Aaron described the conversation to Michelle, she was not surprised to learn that Justin was gay. Michelle also recognized this as the first time Aaron had ever had that kind of conversation with fellow gay guys. It represented a milestone in the coming out process for her friend.

***

For no apparent reason, on February 16th, a Thursday, Aaron truly gave up his lingering dream that Danny would change his mind.

At lunch that day, Aaron told a lie when Justin had asked him, "What about your parents? Do they know you're gay?"

Aaron had said no. That wasn't technically the lie.

Then Danny asked, "What's your family like? Pretty normal?"

Calmly and convincingly, Aaron said, "Yeah, I guess so." He knew why he lied. He was ashamed his father had abandoned him and that his mother really didn't care about him.

"Not crazy like mine, right?" Danny had said with a laugh.

With envy, Aaron had thought about Danny's parents, siblings, aunts and uncles. Maybe they weren't typical but they were wonderful.

***

Hours later, in her room as usual, after he'd been quiet for about twenty minutes, Michelle heard Aaron set his book down. She looked up at him.

"I've given up on him, Michelle," he announced. "He's so nice and I really love him, but it's not going to happen. I'm just a friend to him."

She frowned and shook her head with compassion. "I'm sorry, Aaron."

She let him alone with his thoughts for a few minutes and then tapped his knee. "Did you meet the new foreign exchange student? He's from Botswana. He's handsome and he seems gay to me." Aaron looked at her but said nothing. Michelle continued. "I was thinking I could arrange some kind of group outing where you could get to know each other."

Aaron shrugged. A little sadly, he said, "I don't know. Let me think about it."

Michelle gave him her familiar scowl until he smiled. "Don't make me smack you," she threatened.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," he said, suddenly looking much cheerier. "Something good happened yesterday. Danny started swimming laps with me."

"Why is that good?"

"He's in the next lane, in a Speedo. That means every time we pass each other, I get to see his package. I just make sure my head is turned toward him and my face is in the water. It's kind of fun."

Michelle shook her head and struggled not to laugh. "Don't your goggles steam up?" she teased.

"I mean...well, he's still not going into the showers with me, but this is the next best thing. Hey if I don't have any hope, I can stare all I want, right? He's so beautiful."

"And you're such a creeper."

"I'm an _underwater creeper_. That's not as bad."

"And how does this help you?"

"Think about it, Michelle. It gives me something to daydream about."

"I get it. You mean at night, in bed?"

"Yes..." he said, drawing out the word and flashing a guilty smile.

This was a different _sad_ Aaron than the one she had known last year. It was a bittersweet sadness. She hoped it was just a normal reaction to one of life's predictable disappointments.

***

February passed slowly, except in hindsight. There was a lot of rain and Aaron was mildly chagrined that it proved Danny's decision to stop the weekday runs with Aaron had been a good idea. The lunchtime workout and talks became the center of Aaron's life. For nearly an hour, except when they were dressing, they had each other's undivided attention. Justin asked questions and shared but he seemed to keep the focus on the two of them. At first, there were some rare, casual allusions to being gay. Later it would become the dominant topic.

Aaron tried to avoid sounding immature in sharing his stories but Danny kept asking about high school and sports and college plans. Aaron asked about why and how he became a veterinarian. The _why_ was easy. Danny had always liked animals and loved the sciences, especially biology. His maternal uncle gave him every opportunity to decide if it was right for him. It turned out Danny had the talent to be an excellent surgeon. His accelerated program for Bachelor of Science in Biology/Doctor of Veterinary Medicine got him where he was now at the relatively young age of twenty-four. (Aaron finally found out the age differences between his friends and him. Justin was also twenty-four, Matthew was two years older.) Aaron chastised himself for not really having a good idea of what he wanted to study in college or do for a living. Danny told him he should not be ashamed, telling about his friends who didn't make up their minds until much later.

One day Danny got some of the truth about Aaron's family from him. Aaron calmly revealed that his father had abandoned him and, though she lived with them, his mother left the parenting to his grandparents. "We're more like siblings, I think," Aaron told Danny and Justin.

"Wow, that's...different," Danny said.

The way he said it didn't seem to imply anything bad, but Aaron was still disappointed by Danny's choice of that word.

"How do you get along with your grandparents?" Danny asked.

"Not bad, I guess. It must have been hard on them to have to take responsibility for me at their age. I try not to be a bother. Thanks to cross country and track and now my job, I spend most of my time out of the house."

***

Toward the end of the month, Justin surprised Aaron when he talked Danny into sharing his coming out story. Justin said he had heard bits and pieces but wanted to know the real story, finally.

Danny exhaled forcefully, smiling. "It was dramatic, I promise. Picture me at age fourteen in my room with another guy. I won't say his name because he's married with a kid now, but he was the JV soccer team captain, if that helps, Jay."

Justin shook his head, then his eyes widened and he was impressed. "What happened?"

"Not much. Just that my dad caught me fucking him on my bed."

"Oh, dude, I don't believe it!" Justin shouted. "Why did you keep it from me all these years? Hey, were you at least under the covers?"

"No. It must have looked like a porn movie," Danny said emphatically. "There was a lot of action going on. I was naked with a massive hard-on. He was in the same state, only bent over and pretty well lubed."

Aaron was wide-eyed and smiling and the other two were laughing. Then Danny shook his head wistfully. "Actually, it was kind of bad. It led to a major blow up. The whole family heard about it. My dad, you know, has a gay brother-in-law but he never expected this from me. Everybody was surprised, really, because I was always pretending to be so macho. _And_ , unlike you two, I was not afraid of a football...or a baseball or a basketball.'

"So anyway, we had to go to family counseling." Danny grimaced. "I was embarrassed for days and actually heartbroken because I'd failed to live up to my parents' expectations. When I tried to apologize I couldn't get the words out because I'd be sobbing so much. It still makes me sad that I made my mother cry."

"Yeah, I can see that," Justin agreed solemnly. Aaron nodded.

"Imagine seeing my dad cry."

"Oh god," Justin commiserated. "You'd need counseling just from that."

"So that wasn't all. They wanted to talk to the other boy's parents. I almost freaked out. I begged them and finally my uncle was able to persuade them not to."

"Wow," Justin said.

"Ma was ok with it after the initial shock, partly because of Uncle Ernesto and Uncle Brian-you know, he's a psychologist. Then her big concern was that I'd had unsafe sex. Dad doesn't miss a thing, obviously."

"You mean..."

"When he stuck his head in my room he must have looked for maybe three seconds at the most before closing the door. But he saw that I wasn't using a condom. My parents started asking details about my whole sexual history..."

"You had a sexual history?" Justin asked.

Danny looked at him disbelievingly. "You were part of it, dude."

"Oh, yeah, right. That was just some jerking off, though. So your parents knew about me before anyone in my family?"

"Yes. We got Ma and Pop to compromise about getting into what and who I'd done. They had me tested for HIV. When I passed, they figured you, the soccer player and a couple of other guys were safe. I promised to follow all the guidelines after that. Uncle Brian gave me a blow-by-blow lecture on safe sex."

"I remember that. They had me in with you."

"Uh huh. The other penalty was that I wasn't allowed to leave home by myself for two years."

"Now that's an exaggeration!" Justin said. "But I can't imagine anything more embarrassing. I know why you waited so long to tell me."

"Well...there was something else."

"What?"

"When my dad caught me, I had my phone out and I was making a video. In the end, _that's_ what I got grounded for."

Aaron moaned.

Justin shouted, "Oh, lord, I don't believe it!" Then, still looking shocked he asked, "Did the other boy know you were recording him?"

"No." Danny's eyebrows rose playfully. "Want to see the video?"

Justin almost shouted. "You have the video?" he asked credulously.

"Of course not! I don't even have the phone. My dad smashed it."

Justin and Aaron's stories were tame after Danny's. Justin had told his mother when he was a junior in high school. A week later his father asked him to help in the garage. He surprised him with a hug and told him he loved him. Justin, like Danny, didn't come out to most other people until his first year of college.

Aaron related the conversation Michelle had with him at Christmas and shamefully admitted he'd been afraid to take the opening she gave him.

"We thought she was your girlfriend," Danny said.

"Then last month, I kissed a guy." Aaron chose not to make eye contact with Danny. "That was my real coming out," he added. "Now I'm out to you two and my best friend, that's all."

***

It was an intense, meaningful month for Aaron. At the start, he was hurt and disappointed and longing painfully for Danny. Gradually, during the month he grew close to Justin and Danny. He had never felt such a connection with anyone, even Michelle. But the month also saw the return of the general sadness Aaron remembered from the years before he went to Costa Rica. It was as if every day the weather was dreary only no one else shared the experience. As before, he chose to ignore the feelings and could get through most of the day without realizing how sad he truly was.

Aaron had given himself a lot of good advice and had tried to heed it but by the end of the month he was slipping. His feelings for Danny flared up again. Aaron was as lovesick as ever. They had spent too much time together and shared too much not to have strengthened the attraction Aaron started with. It was so real for Aaron, he believed Danny must be feeling it too, but Aaron felt no hope for a happy outcome.

"Aren't you a little mad at him?" Michelle asked one night.

Aaron considered the question. "Yes. He should have talked to me. I don't know what he had to be so scared about."

Neither said anything for a minute, then Aaron said, "Fuck it."

# CHAPTER 14

On Wednesday, the first of March, Danny saw Aaron standing at his desk gathering his things to head home. Danny joined him. They were alone in the back office.

"Hey, bud, how are you doing? Tough day?"

"No, I'm fine."

He looked tired or maybe unhappy about something but Danny had a plan to put into effect and so he moved on. "I've got a favor to ask. Can you housesit for me in a couple of weeks?" Danny explained that he was going to another seminar; this one would last ten days, from March 9th through the 19th. He needed Aaron to stay in his place the second weekend because a contractor was coming over to build a patio cover.

"Besides," he told Aaron, "you'd probably like a chance to try living on your own for a couple of days. I know I would have when I was a teenager."

Aaron said he hoped he could help. He would ask his grandfather for permission.

***

The weeks after Danny discovered Aaron's true age hadn't been easy for him, either. He was very attracted to Aaron but he was also afraid of the potential repercussions of what he had done in his bedroom that Saturday in January.

Back at the end of January, he was not clear to himself on what his next actions ought to be but _for the short term_ , to avoid temptation or maybe even a false accusation, he had decided to cut out their solo runs and send Aaron to the YMCA instead. To keep Aaron from feeling completely rejected, despite the potential for strengthening the attraction, Danny chose to accompany him. A second reason was that Danny couldn't give up all the time with him. Danny had arranged to have a chaperone (or witness) from now on whenever he and Aaron would be together.

That had been Danny's plan. On the downside, he was confronted with seeing Aaron nearly every day in his nylon training shorts and racing swimsuit. He had not eliminated the risk that he might succumb to the teenager's appeal. At first, Danny thought he was handling it well and that the electricity between them was ebbing. That didn't last long. As soon as they started bonding over shared life stories, Aaron grew steadily more appealing and sexually attractive.

***

The group at the brewpub one night in late February consisted of Danny, Matthew, a college friend Paul and his wife Courtney and Danny's two younger, unmarried sisters Emily and Amy. Matthew ordered two pitchers of beer and the waiter carded Danny. While Danny went for his wallet, the waiter seemed to decide he should ask the whole table for their ID's. Naturally, everyone blamed Danny. The waiter apologized as he quickly checked and accepted the six ID's including Danny's twenty-year-old sister Amy's fake driver's license.

Soon, there were two pitchers of beer on the long table and nachos and wings. The young people were animated and occasionally boisterous, clearly enjoying their evening out. Then, although there was only one couple among them, the entire party decided to concentrate on Danny's dating difficulties.

"You are such a disappointment to the family, Daniel," Amy said shaking her head. "If Mom knew what you've been up to all these years, she would have locked you up until she could arrange a marriage for you."

"What has he been up to?" the wife of Danny's college friend asked.

"Don't ask," her husband and Matthew said simultaneously.

"Our brother is a _player_ ," Emily said. "He has our parents thinking he's this lonely grad student who's too busy for romance. Well he's too busy for romance all right."

"Too busy..." Amy mouthed an obscenity followed by "around."

"Do you think it's his looks, Courtney? Or is it his personality?" Matthew asked. "Why can't he seem to find someone good enough to take home to mother?"

"There must be some nice gay boy out there for you, Danny," Courtney said seriously.

"Yeah, someone who doesn't care all that much about appearance," Amy said.

That drew a raucous laugh from the others.

"Since you all are so interested, I have met someone, but it's too early to tell you any more than that."

Suddenly, the tone of the conversation changed from kidding and mock insults. They were all happy for him and supportive. Danny promised to tell them more in a few weeks.

"You're planning to hang on to this one that long?" Amy asked.

He extracted a promise from his sisters not to tell their mother.

***

Maybe it was the sympathy in Aaron's expression that day he listened to Danny tell about making his parents cry or maybe it was an hour earlier when Aaron stood at the side of the pool and Danny took off his swimming googles and saw Aaron in his hot green Speedos looking down at him. Either explanation or a combination was possible but the fact was that was the day Danny knew he needed to revise his plan. He no longer wanted to keep Aaron at a safe distance.

_Something strange is going on_ , Danny confessed to himself that night because he found himself ready to do more work than ever just for a chance to have sex with somebody. He also admitted to having misgivings about Aaron being younger and more inexperienced than he had first assumed. _But, I don't really have a choice._ _I've got to have this guy._ If this was going to be Aaron's first time, he promised himself he would give the boy the first time of his dreams _._

The next day, Danny began concocting a new plan.

***

There were several lies in the story Danny gave Aaron when he asked him to housesit, but Danny believed he had a good reason.

Danny had looked up Aaron's birthdate. He would be eighteen on Wednesday, March 15th. Danny's new goal was to spend the following weekend with him. Danny created the false housesitting story and presented it to Aaron on the first. Danny would actually leave on the ninth as he claimed. Fortunately, he would be back from his seminar on the 16th. Sometime that week, Danny would tell Aaron about the change and, since Aaron would have already arranged permission to stay the weekend, ask him to come as planned and spend the time with Danny. Aaron could back out if he wanted, Danny would make sure he understood there would be no hard feelings, but, by then, Aaron would be old enough to go through with it if he wanted.

***

Michelle seemed to be in an odd mood. Aaron couldn't quite figure it out. They had been working together on a homework assignment in her room for an hour but she kept wanting to talk, asking him what was going on in his life. He told her about the housesitting offer Danny had given him at the end of the workday. He complained to her that Danny seemed condescending when he implied that a teenager like him would jump at the chance to get away from home.

"You would, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I just didn't like the way he said it. Like he was talking to some kid. You know, it's really kind of the last straw...not as friends but...you know. I've been thinking. Maybe he's rejecting me because of the way I look."

"Huh?"

"I know I still look like a boy. A lot of guys in our class have chest hair and beards and their faces look like adult men but I still look like... "

"The male lead on a Disney channel show," Michelle said. "There's nothing wrong with that." She was staring at him again.

"Well, it's not right, really. He shouldn't treat me like a kid. He acts cool and detached but he's not so mature either. He's very dependent on his parents and Justin."

"Are you going to tell him no?"

"No, I'll do it. It's better than nothing."

They completed the assignment, then each started chapters in different textbooks. She finished before he did and waited in silence.

"I can come over if you want, when you're housesitting," she said when he closed his book.

Aaron hesitated.

"Oh, sorry. I get it. You don't want me to catch you smelling his clothes and using his hair brush and rolling around naked on his bed."

"I hadn't thought about the hair brush."

"Good. Glad to help. Um, Aaron, there was something else I wanted to ask you or tell you about, I guess. It's personal but kind of interesting."

"What is it?"

Ok, prepare yourself; we're going to talk about female orgasms."

"Sure. You've come to the right person."

She shook her head. "Yeah, you're the expert. Anyway, they're getting stronger. Compared to my first one when I was thirteen they're a lot stronger."

"Wow. That's interesting. What was it like with Joshua?"

She shrugged. "It didn't happen."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"No problem. I don't have any trouble by myself."

"I read in a sex ed book that women's orgasms are more intense than men's and better," Aaron said. "I've always wondered what they must be like."

"How would anyone know? Guys are lucky. They know it's the real thing because they ejaculate. It's kind of messy and smells like chlorine but they seem to enjoy it."

"Wow! I mean...yeah it is messy, but how many have you seen?"

"Five. They all happened last year. Twice with a guy I dated from my cousin's school and three times with Joshua. Actually I only saw two with him because the third time was into a condom the one time we had real sex. What's an orgasm like for guys?"

"It's great, really. The things you think about get you excited. It's a slow build up from the stroking and then all your energy is concentrated there and then it's a big relief."

"That sounds about the same. How often do guys do it and how long does it take when they're by themselves?"

"It can be fast, sometimes too fast. Ramiro claimed he could go all night with a real girl but with his hand five or ten minutes was enough. He told me that when he was thirteen he did it every day, twice a day for a year."

"How about when you were thirteen?"

"Remember what I looked like back then? I still had a kid's body. You know, guys have orgasms for a while before they can come. It's kind of a weird time. For me then, it was a few times a week, I guess. From what the book says, I was later getting to the ejaculation part than most of the guys my age."

"When did you have your first one?"

"When I was fifteen I shot for the first time but I never did it twice a day for a week, let alone a year."

"What about now?"

"What?"

"LateIy I mean. How often do you do it?"

"Well, you know with seeing Danny in the pool every day, I usually have something to think about every night."

"That's nice. Speaking of Ramiro...we've been talking on the internet and exchanging e-mails."

"Oh. He always talked about you. His latest girlfriend broke up with him, so yeah, I'm glad he finally contacted you. He's supposed to come to California for a semester next school year so you'll meet him then. You'll like him."

_You'll probably fall in love with him,_ Aaron thought. _I did._

"Thanks, Aaron, for the talk. It helps."

"Thank you, too."

***

Two days later, after dinner, Grandad and Aaron remained at the dining room table. Dawn was a few feet away in the living room reading a magazine and Aaron's grandmother was in the kitchen cleaning up. Aaron wanted to be helping her but he needed to bring up the matter of housesitting. He was nervous about getting permission and rushed his words. He promised he would not let anybody come over and all he would do was study after work Friday and Saturday and then go out for his two runs Saturday and Sunday. "My boss asked and I didn't want to say no."

Grandad looked over his glasses with a stern expression. "What about your birthday? I was going to have the family over."

Before Aaron could respond, from the living room, Aaron's mother said in a loud voice, "That's the weekend before, Grandad." Aaron didn't know she was even listening but he was glad. She continued, "David is coming home from Santa Barbara that weekend so we thought we'd celebrate the Saturday before rather than the Saturday after."

"Ok. Good," Grandad said. "Write it on the whiteboard."

# CHAPTER 15

Aaron was looking forward to the weekend housesitting but it was not the major issue in his life. Ever since he shared coming out stories with his friends in Justin's office, an idea had been brewing. What if he came out to David?

David had always had a special place in the family. As the first grandchild, he had received undivided attention from Grandad for two years and was always obviously his favorite. The others didn't mind since they looked up to David. He was a kind, smart and fun-loving sibling or cousin to them and had a strong influence for good in their lives. David wasn't only the natural leader of Aaron's generation but in a way was a family leader as well. Now, as an adult, Grandad respected him and everyone loved him. David cared more about Aaron than any other family member did and it was important to Aaron that he know the truth about him. If David accepted Aaron, then he had reason to think everything would be ok. Aaron didn't think he would have an option of staying in the closet. After coming out to Michelle and being so enamored with Danny, Aaron thought it was just a matter of time before David or someone else in the family recognized the change in him and confronted him. If David accepted him, maybe the rest of the family would.

***

On the ninth, Danny brought his travel bag to the office to leave directly for the airport. He caught Aaron before the teen left for the day. Standing in front of Aaron's desk, he handed him the key and looked deep into his eyes. For the last time, Danny said good-bye to the boy. He would see him next week but by then the calendar and the state of California would have declared him a man.

***

Aaron's birthday party with the family on the eleventh was held outdoors in Grandad's screened patio. It was still too early to swim so the cover remained on the pool. Grandad had Aaron bring the volleyball net out to the back of the yard. Grandad would organize the game after lunch. Though it was Aaron's party, for a brief time, David was the center of attention. Then Grandad and Aaron's two uncles went back to the barbecue. The others stood around the patio or the yard chatting. In a whisper, Aaron asked David to come to the far back of the yard on the pretext of helping set up the volleyball net and boundaries. Fortunately, only Daisy followed them.

Of course, Aaron was nervous. But the timing was too good not to go ahead. He stopped in the middle of the grass and turned to face his cousin.

"What's on your mind, Aaron?" David asked

It was a six-second speech. "There's something about myself I want you to know. I'm gay." Aaron exhaled, and then shook his head, feeling helpless.

"No problem, dude. I guessed already. It doesn't change anything for me. You're still the nicest person I've ever met."

The compliment surprised Aaron. He smiled and said, "Thank you."

"I knew something had changed for you the last couple of years. I'm glad you figured it all out."

That was it for now. The other four cousins had just come out to help set up.

Middle brother Ethan relayed the message. "David, Grandad says get it done in ten minutes because the steaks are almost ready."

After lunch and the volleyball match but before the cake was to be served and presents opened, David and Aaron slipped away from the party. They went upstairs and sat in Aaron's room. David had more to say on Aaron's disclosure.

"Nobody in our generation cares if someone's gay or not. In college, everyone knows who's gay and straight and they all support each other. The only time anyone will say anything is when they want to set you up with another gay guy."

It was just what Aaron wanted to hear.

"What about safe sex?" David asked. "You know what you have to do, right?"

"Yeah," Aaron lied. All the talk of condoms had left him unsure and uneasy. "We had the training in school, about ten times," he told David. "It applies to you too, you know."

"I know," David said with a smile. "I've got condoms in my drawer...and my car...and my wallet."

Aaron smiled.

"Are you dating anyone?" David asked.

"No."

"Well, have you had sex yet?"

"No. I kissed a guy, that's all."

"How did that go?"

Aaron shook his head. He laughed. "Pretty good."

Now David laughed. "So you want to do it again."

"Yeah."

"What about anyone else? Are you going to tell our grandparents and your mom?"

Aaron stuttered. "Not...no...well, I don't know how they'll react."

"Neither do I. So it's just you and me for now?"

"Yes."

"No problem."

***

Danny had been gone two days when Aaron came out to David. They had been texting several times a day and Danny, along with Michelle and Justin, knew Aaron was determined to go through with it. As soon as David left his room, while the party was still going on outside and his grandmother was putting candles on his cake, Aaron texted Danny. Danny wrote back immediately.

"Congratulations, flaco! I'm proud of you."

His text made Aaron both happy and sad.

Aaron told Michelle that night. He waited until Monday to tell Justin at the gym. Both were as supportive as Danny. Aaron felt like he had won a race. It kept him elated until Wednesday when another issue came up that crowded out his thoughts about everything else.

# CHAPTER 16

The morning of his birthday the Skype ring tone sounded while Aaron was still in bed. He put on his tee shirt and tapped the screen on his IPad. He was delighted to see the faces of Ramiro, Sra. Torres and Gabby wishing him a happy birthday from Costa Rica. For Aaron, it was a joy to speak Spanish again and feel the connection he had made with these people. It was an hour later in San Juan so Sr. Torres congratulated him on his way out the door. They caught up on family news. Aaron thanked them again for having him in their home and told them he missed them.

"We love you Aaron," the three said together in English. Then from Señora came, "Be happy, hijo."

Before Aaron left for school, Danny texted him, "Happy birthday, guapo," and "I'll call you at two." Aaron was busy in his classes in the morning and later, the workout and lunch with Justin kept his mind occupied, but by the afternoon, at his desk entering data into the clinic billing system, Aaron found himself watching the clock and growing more excited. When Danny called, Aaron was thrilled to hear his voice. Danny sounded really happy and friendly.

Aaron told him about the cake Nora had brought and the short celebration they had in the lobby with his uncle, the staff and the pet owners who were there at the time. Danny told him about the seminar. Then Danny had some news.

"Change of plans, bud. No one's listening, right?"

"Right," Aaron replied, instantly curious.

"I'm coming home tomorrow."

Aaron immediately assumed Danny would not want him to housesit after all. He tried not to sound disappointed. "Oh, then you won't..."

"You know, I _really_ like you. I was thinking, since you already have everything cleared with your family, that you could come over anyway and we could spend the weekend together."

Aaron hesitated. He was re-playing Danny's words in his mind to be sure he hadn't misunderstood.

Danny said, "Um...what do you think?" His tone changed. He sounded less assured.

Aaron said, "Yeah, it would be great." Aaron realized he was speaking louder than normal.

"Good." Danny said with enthusiasm. "I'm really looking forward to it. See you Friday."

***

Aaron inhaled the scent: citrusy, spicy, woodsy and very masculine. He loved it. It sent a thrill down his spine to... _where else?_

His grandparents and mother had saved three gifts to give him on the evening of his birthday. After dinner, Grandma said, "Michelle will just have to wait," and she came back to the table with two boxes and an envelope. "These are from all of us," she said.

They had given him Abercrombie and Fitch _Fierce_ cologne. He'd pulled his shirt collar down and sprayed it onto the base of his neck. Grandma sniffed and promised Aaron, "That will attract the girls, you'll see."

Aaron thought of Danny leaning into his chest to inhale. "Thank you," he said.

The second, larger package had an olive green military-style jacket with a wide collar, pockets and snaps. "It's great," Aaron said with excitement. He put it on over his knit shirt. It fit perfectly. His mother asked him to turn around to model it for them.

"You think Michelle will like it?" Grandma asked.

"She'll love it," he told her and thanked them again. He realized he was gushing and risked a glance at Grandad expecting his disapproval. He didn't seem to have noticed.

Aaron remained standing and opened the envelope. It was a restaurant gift certificate.

"For when you're ready to take someone special for a romantic evening," Grandma said.

"Thanks everyone," Aaron said. He went around the table and hugged each of them. Grandad accepted his hug with a nod but he hadn't said anything since dinner.

***

Predictably, Aaron had texted Michelle as soon as he said good-bye to Danny in the afternoon. This evening when he came in and closed her bedroom door behind him, she stood and rushed to embrace him. He found she was nearly as excited as he was. She was temporarily distracted though when she smelled the cologne. Then she stepped back to take in the new jacket.

"Oh, my god! You are so hot!"

"Thanks."

She took his textbooks and dropped them on her dresser then pulled him forward to the chair. She sat on the bed opposite him.

"Everything has changed," she said. "We were wrong about Danny. Was he just waiting to surprise you, or what? Are you sure it's what we think?"

Aaron was sure. "Yeah. I could hear it in his voice. This isn't just a sleepover."

"Then what was the problem? Why did he treat you that way?"

"I figured it out. It was my age, not how mature I am. He must have decided we couldn't date until I was eighteen."

"Wow! A legal age thing?"

"Yes."

"It seems kind of silly these days when most people aren't virgins by the time they leave high school."

"I know but I guess he could get in trouble."

"If he got you pregnant?"

Aaron scowled. She shrugged.

"Michelle, promise never to tell about Danny kissing and groping me, ok?"

"I promise. Now tell me everything you're feeling."

What was he feeling? _Excited, hopeful, curious, grateful, kind of drunk._ He tried to explain and she seemed to understand.

"You know what it means," she said. "You're eighteen and in two days you're going to have sex for the first time. Do you even know what to do? They didn't tell us much in sex ed that fits for you, did they?"

"I know what a blow job is."

"Everyone knows what a blow job is."

"Yeah."

"He's pretty experienced, isn't he?"

Aaron thought of Danny having hardcore sex at fourteen. He nodded wistfully.

"Maybe you should watch some videos?" Then she laughed. "Imagine my dad coming in and catching me watching gay porn. I'd tell him I was teaching you."

Aaron didn't laugh. He'd never seen anything beyond drawings on men's room walls.

"Sorry. Are you nervous?" she asked sympathetically.

He nodded. He hadn't thought about what he wanted until she brought it up. He knew he wanted to kiss Danny again. He wanted to see him naked and touch his cock. He wanted Danny's hands on his body and to lie next to him. He inhaled deeply. "I'll be ok, Michelle. I trust Danny."

# CHAPTER 17

"Kiss Me I'm Irish?"

Danny read it like a question. It was the shamrock sticker on Aaron's shirt. In second period accounting, in honor of St. Patrick's Day, Michelle had wanted to place it on the seat of his jeans but she settled for his chest and tickled his nipple when she applied it. This evening when Danny opened the front door of his townhouse, Aaron was a little surprised that it was the first thing he noticed, but it served as an ice-breaker. Aaron had been nervous all day. It didn't help that a challenging baby calf birth meant he'd only seen Danny for less than a minute this afternoon.

"I am mostly Irish, you know," Aaron said, not moving from the doorstep but gazing at Danny. Danny looked great in tan, tapered chinos and a light grey polo shirt. His dark hair looked damp and instead of the usual neat style, his bangs drooped toward his eyes.

Danny took his hand and pulled him into the entry way. He closed the door and, for the second time, kissed Aaron. Within seconds, Aaron was feeling breathless from the thrill of Danny's tongue in his mouth and his hands under his shirt. Aaron followed Danny's lead and enjoyed sliding his fingers over the muscles of Danny's back before playing with the hairs on Danny's chest and above his chinos.

Danny stopped them after just a few minutes.

"We're meeting my parents for drinks."

"I know"

"You have to get dressed."

Aaron was confused. Danny placed his right hand on Aaron's butt and guided him to the bedroom. A shirt and slacks and other clothes, all freshly-laundered, had been laid out neatly on the bedspread. There were shoes, too, on the floor. They were black and had pointed toes.

"Your birthday gift from my mom and dad. Ma wants to see you in them so she took off the tags and washed and ironed everything. I'll wait for you in the hall. You'd better hurry."

Suddenly alone, Aaron looked at the stack of clothes. He saw underwear and socks and realized it was to be a complete makeover. He was delighted by Leticia's thoughtfulness. Aaron stripped off his clothes. His erection hadn't gone down. He tried to ignore it while he began dressing again. He pulled on the boxer briefs, then a pair of tight-fitting black slacks and a fitted, white dress shirt with soft fabric that showed off his chest and lean abs.

"Can I come in now?"

"Yes."

Danny stepped back into the room. His reaction confirmed what Aaron had thought from his reflection in the mirror above the vanity.

"You look really good," Danny said.

"I like the style. Kind of preppy."

"Ma says it's the London financial office look for guys in their twenties and thirties. She likes tight pants that show off a guy's legs and ass...and package. I think she got them for my benefit too. Although..."

"What?"

"It may be a little harder for me to get them off you later."

Aaron couldn't think of the right response. He flashed a smile instead, looking into Danny's eyes. He ran his hands over his own stomach and his thighs and then said, "She bought me underwear too."

"No, those are from me. I knew I'd like the green against your white skin. Lift up your shirt."

Aaron obeyed, revealing the waistband above his slacks.

"Sexy, especially with this." Danny touched the line of black hairs leading up to Aaron's navel.

Aaron tucked in his shirt. Danny helped him with a green silk tie. Aaron donned the yellow, light-weight wool sweater that remained of his birthday wardrobe and then sat down to put on the shoes.

***

Leticia Quintana and her sister-in-law Juliana sat next to each other with two empty chairs on their half of the round table. Enrique and Dr. Avila and Danny's uncles Ernesto and Brian sat opposite them in the heated outdoor patio at the bar of a huge, elegantly-decorated Mexican restaurant. There were various drinks on the table, all at least half empty.

Leticia greeted Aaron with a squeal. As he attempted to thank her and her husband for the gift she told him to stop in front of her. "We want a fashion show."

He stood and faced them.

"Yes, yes, very nice," Danny's Aunt Juliana observed. "Now, turn around, _joven_."

Aaron complied.

"Pull up the sweater I want to see how the pants fit," Leticia ordered.

"They fit beautifully," Juliana said. She and Leticia laughed.

"Very handsome," Ernesto said.

From behind Aaron, Danny poked his head out and smiled at everyone.

"You look very nice, too, Danielito," Juliana said.

"Gracias, Tía."

Aaron and Danny leaned in to accept kisses from the ladies. Leticia told Aaron, " _Erin go Bragh!_ " and informed him that she, too, was part Irish.

"One of my great grandmothers came to Mexico from County Limerick. She had red hair. That's where I get mine."

Her younger brother Ernesto clasped his hand over his mouth.

Danny asked, innocently, "Did you used to dye it brown, Ma?"

She called him a smart mouth.

Danny and Aaron ordered non-alcoholic drinks and shared some of the appetizers at the table. After the waiter returned with the drinks and a second round for the others, Enrique led them in a toast. "To this fine young man, Aaron, on becoming an adult. We wish you all the best."

Aaron was very grateful and felt almost emotional. He dropped his head for a moment and then raised it and said, "Thank you everyone."

A few minutes later, Danny said to Leticia, "We're not staying for dinner, Ma."

"I know, _cariño_."

# CHAPTER 18

They came through the door from the garage into the small laundry room and then out into the space between the kitchen and the living room. Danny held Aaron's hand all the way.

"Now," he told him, "I want to make your first time a good one."

It was just what Aaron needed to hear. He was nervous and uncertain about how this night's activities would unfold. At once, Danny let him know that he understood and he would lead the way. It didn't stop his heart from racing though. It must be from excitement, not nerves, Aaron concluded.

It seemed appropriate and familiar when they started kissing again. Without thinking, Aaron started this round when he stopped in the middle of the room and slid his body into Danny's embrace. Aaron moved his lips to Danny's and slid his tongue into Danny's mouth. Danny met him with equal force and they kissed and caressed each other. Aaron felt Danny's hands on his chest and abs. Then Danny moved his hands to Aaron's hips. He worked his fingers under the dress shirt and slid them into the waistband of the new briefs. Aaron followed Danny's lead and explored his partner's body through his clothes. In quick movements, Danny grasped Aaron's glutes and his thighs, squeezing the muscles gently.

Aaron took in the sight of Danny's erection pushing against his chinos and was about to reach for it when Danny pulled away. With his arm around Aaron, he guided him down the hall. He stopped Aaron in the small alcove under the arch that separated the sink and vanity from the bedroom area of the master suite. This was where Danny had stood when he came from the shower wearing only a towel all those weeks ago. He kissed Aaron. Danny's eyes moved to the bulge in Aaron's slacks and he smiled.

Danny placed his hand on Aaron's shoulder and pushed gently. "Kneel down, flaco."

Aaron lowered himself to his knees. He faced Danny's crotch. Aaron didn't wait for instructions. He unbuttoned and unzipped Danny's chinos and reached inside his sky blue boxers. He worked Danny's penis out of the fly.

It was hard and pointed upward and Aaron's face was just inches away. His balls were still partially covered but Aaron could see them through the opening. Danny's cock and balls looked just like he had imagined, only bigger. He was delighted to see what was only his third erect penis, counting Ramiro's morning erections and Aaron's own cock, _and_ his second uncut erect penis. Unlike Ramiro's, this one Aaron knew he got to touch. The skin of Danny's cock was a dark, bluish gray, which really excited Aaron. Aaron leaned toward it with his mouth open and, with just the passing thought that this was the most exciting thing he had ever done, he soon had his lips around it and was pushing with his tongue and then he opened his jaw and moved his head so that the tip of Danny's cock was at the back of his throat.

With a touch of self-congratulation, Aaron noted how easily he dove into the act of oral sex with his partner. After all the talk he'd heard from straight guys and some girls he wondered why they made it such a big deal. It was even more thrilling than he had imagined. Before, his appreciation of guys was almost completely visual. He did enjoy their scents and their voices, but now the feel of Danny's penis on Aaron's tongue and holding it at the base with his left hand while rolling his testicles through the fabric of his boxers with the fingers of his right hand, was a new sensation that delighted him. So did the taste.

He sucked Danny until he was almost out of breath. When he pulled his head away, he paused to once more enjoy the view of Danny's erection, this time with the foreskin pushed down onto the shaft.

"Fuck," Aaron said joyfully.

Kissing Danny had made Aaron feel intimate with him but this was so much better. It broke through whatever distance there might be between them. _It's like Danny and I are joined together._ How could their relationship ever be the same after he had taken Danny's cock in his mouth? It made him feel closer than he'd ever imagined he could be with another person.

Aaron was particularly excited by Danny's foreskin. He'd enjoyed glimpses of other guys' uncut dicks before but now it felt like a great gift to touch one with his mouth and hands. Aaron loved the way it slid up and over the head so easily and how he could get his tongue under it and pull it gently with his teeth. Danny let him play with it for quite a while before he touched Aaron on the cheek and whispered, "Take off your shoes and your shirt."

Aaron leaned back on his legs and began to unbutton the shirt. Danny helped him with it. Aaron removed his shoes. Then Danny moved his cock back to Aaron's mouth.

" _Chupame la verga, guapo,"_ Danny said.

_Oh, fuck, yes!_ Aaron thought, _En Español. Que bueno!_ He pushed his mouth down onto Danny's cock.

Danny pulled his own shirt over his head, unbuckled his belt and opened his pants. A few minutes more went by with Danny caressing Aaron's head as he continued to suck him then Danny stopped Aaron again. He had him stand up and helped him step out of the black slacks. Aaron took off his socks.

Now, the eighteen-year-old was wearing only the green boxer briefs. His erection was visible pointing upward toward his belly, the head protruding above the waistband. Danny signaled Aaron to drop back to his knees. Finally, Danny leaned against the granite-topped vanity, kicked off his shoes and removed his chinos and blue boxers and socks.

Aaron stared intently at the naked man before him. He thought Danny's abs and his dark pubic hair and genitals were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

He moved in again. Gradually, Aaron began to increase the pace of his sucking and stroking. Danny started to moan, encouraging Aaron to accelerate. Danny's breathing increased. Sensing that Danny was close to coming, Aaron grew more excited himself. He anticipated Danny's semen about to shoot into his mouth. _It will be salty,_ he warned himself. He had learned that from tasting his own. He wondered what it was going to be like to swallow so much. He was eager to do it because he knew sharing that would be the closest two guys could ever get.

Danny had other plans. "Stop," he said softly. He pulled his cock away from Aaron's mouth. He helped Aaron to his feet. Aaron's feelings were so intense, he was almost light-headed. He walked with Danny to the center of the room. They faced the bed.

Danny stepped behind Aaron and hugged him and kissed his neck and shoulders. He slid his arm around Aaron's waist and slipped his hand inside Aaron's briefs. For the first time ever, Aaron enjoyed the feeling of another man's hand on his penis. Danny moved it under the tight cotton and then he fondled Aaron's balls. It was enough to bring Aaron close to an orgasm.

"Lie down in the middle," Danny told Aaron, his voice low and gentle.

_Simple orders,_ Aaron thought. He was so drunk with pleasure that he knew he couldn't follow any instruction more complicated. He did as he was told and then Danny moved onto the bed, straddling Aaron's knees. He brought his face close to the front of Aaron's new green underwear. Then Danny moved back a few inches and Aaron felt him push his tongue forcefully between Aaron's thighs while holding his legs together with both hands. Aaron moaned. He raised his arms above his head and watched his lover.

In a quick, single move, Danny pushed his thumbs under the waistband of Aaron's briefs and pulled them down his legs. He tossed them to the floor behind him. Aaron had been hard since the first kiss in the kitchen. Free from the elastic, Aaron's cock snapped upward. It pointed at an angle above his head.

" _Buen verga, hombre_ ," Danny said. He returned to the same position as before only now his tongue touched Aaron's scrotum and the sensitive region below at the top of his inner thighs. Occasionally, Danny moved up to suck one of Aaron's testicles into his mouth-" _cojones deliciosos,_ " he said-and then released them to return his tongue to Aaron's thighs and scrotum. Danny's cock wasn't in Aaron's view now, just his head and shoulders, but he occasionally felt its hardness and weight against his leg.

Aaron saw that Danny was paying close attention to Aaron's responses. He avoided direct stimulation of his cock but touched the drop of pre-ejaculate at the tip with his thumb and then licked his thumb. Danny released his hold on Aaron's hips, while continuing to lick his balls and the area just below. Gradually Aaron responded to the movements of Danny's tongue by opening his legs. Danny inched his way on his knees closer to Aaron's balls, pushing his legs farther apart. Aaron felt Danny's thighs against his, lifting his body. As Aaron looked down the bed at his partner, Danny's cock showed above Aaron's, pointing in an invisible line above Aaron's head.

With Danny holding him in this position, Aaron knew what, in general, was about to happen. He was going to get fucked. He had never seriously imagined what it would be like. The first time he'd ever heard of this sex act he'd been incredulous. Now he felt a rush of anxiety move from his stomach to his chest. He really didn't want to do this but Danny looked at him eagerly. He lifted Aaron's legs onto his shoulders and pushed his cock between Aaron's glutes. It barely touched Aaron's hole. Aaron could feel it pulsating.

" _Da me tu culo, guapo. Quiero coger tu culo virgen_. Let me fuck you Aaron."

Aaron understood what Danny wanted without the English words. Aaron didn't expect to go this far tonight but Danny sounded so hot and masculine, how could he say no? How was it so different from what they had done so far? _Well, it is different_ , Aaron thought. He was apprehensive but he nodded.

Danny reached toward the bedside table. Suddenly he stopped, still straddling Aaron. Sounding casual and matter of fact he said, "We don't need a condom since you're a virgin and I haven't had sex with another guy since before I was last tested months ago. I've only had sex with condoms ever since the first time I told you about. It's completely safe, but I'll use one if you want, Aaron."

Aaron didn't know what he wanted but he shook his head. Danny stretched to the table and took out a dispenser of lubricant. Aaron watched him move. Danny's cock appeared huge.

Now Danny looked delighted. He positioned his cock against Aaron's asshole again but then pulled back and raised Aaron's ass with his knees while he spilled lubricant into him. Danny slid back and lowered Aaron. Aaron's heels were pushing down onto Danny's shoulders. Danny placed the head of his cock just to the entrance. He said playfully, almost singing, " _Quieres que te cojes, virgen_?"

Aaron nodded.

Danny teased, "Come on. Ask for it."

" _Sí. Da me lo, Danny_. Fuck me," Aaron answered. He was sincere. He truly did want to give Danny what he asked for so enthusiastically.

They looked deeply into each other's eyes and held eye contact while Danny began his penetration of Aaron. Aaron's mind was focused on the body part that Danny was entering. It didn't hurt but he was so tight, he feared he would be unable to do what they both wanted. Danny persisted. A half a minute went by and he had only entered Aaron about an inch. Then Aaron shifted slightly and managed to alter his body's response to Danny's erect penis pressing against his anus. Suddenly Aaron's resistance stopped and Danny slid in quickly. Danny looked surprised. Aaron froze.

Aaron heard himself say "Fuck!" He hoped he might sound excited but Danny had probably heard the pain in his voice. He tried not to look afraid.

"Sorry," Danny said.

Neither of them moved. Aaron felt spasms start deep inside. It was painful and unnerving. Aaron worried that it would hurt too much to go on but also believed it would be too painful for Danny to pull out. He hadn't had a panic attack since he was ten but now a rising sensation of anxiety accompanied the discomfort and gave him this new concern.

Danny stroked his chest and belly and whispered to him. "It's going to be ok. Relax and breathe. It will go away." Then Aaron felt him touch the base of Aaron's cock. Danny did not grasp him or stroke him but he tickled Aaron's shaft softly. Aaron appreciated the touch. Soon Aaron's attention was drawn to his own pleasure. Danny's other hand cupped his balls. A short time later, Aaron realized the pain had gone. Danny read his expression.

Danny took his hands from Aaron's cock and started to move his hips, slowly at first. Then very gradually he increased the speed. Eventually he was thrusting energetically and Aaron watched him, awed by a new experience of Danny's beauty and masculinity.

The spasms did not return and Aaron began to enjoy a completely new sensation. He wasn't entirely comfortable but he began to appreciate the experience. He liked the sounds from the friction between Danny's dick and his ass mixed with Danny's heavy breathing and the way Danny's lunges into him made his back and shoulders rock into the mattress. For a time, Aaron's mind was absorbed with the one word _Danny_ that he heard over and over.

There was some pleasure mixed with the discomfort. The discomfort...you couldn't really even call it that because the great thing was that Danny and he were joined and Danny's face showed how much _he_ was enjoying it. Then Aaron began to feel waves of pleasure spreading from their point of physical connection throughout his body.

Moments later, Aaron observed, his thoughts took a turn to the weird. He noticed his imagination going beyond anything that made sense. He felt some kind of _force_ surging into him from Danny's body. Initially, he imagined energy flowing from Danny's balls to his cock and into Aaron's body. It pleased him that he had just held and licked and sucked those parts of Danny. Then the energy came not just from Danny's hips and cock but from his whole body. The rhythm of Danny's thrusting contributed to Aaron's bizarre state.

After a few minutes, Danny stopped and asked tenderly, "Would you turn over for me?" The sound of his words woke Aaron from his trance. Danny moved back and overcame Aaron's resistance to pull out of his ass, permitting Aaron then to roll on his side. Danny tugged gently on his hips and Aaron knew he wanted him on all fours. He moved into the new position for Danny.

" _Que buen culo tienes_ ," Danny said.

Once again, Aaron felt Danny's cock move between his glutes. Danny held his hips as he easily penetrated Aaron a second time. He tightened his grip on Aaron's hips and began to thrust in and out rapidly.

Aaron returned to his altered state. _I belong to him,_ Aaron thought. _My ass is his. My body is his._

For what seemed like a long time, Danny fucked him in this position until, with a subtle push from Danny's hands, Aaron understood he wanted him on his side. They rolled to Danny's left carefully so that he would not slip out and then resumed their movements.

A short time passed and Danny whispered into Aaron's ear, "I don't want to go on too long for your sake. Roll onto your back, Aaron. I want to see your face when I come." Once again, he pulled out of Aaron.

Aaron lay flat on his back. Danny pushed his legs wide apart and re-entered him. Danny's breathing sped up. The thrusts became harder and Aaron believed Danny was close.

Danny continued to rock in and out of Aaron. Without a change in his rhythm, a mischievous expression flashed on his face. Gritting his teeth but smiling he asked, " _Quieres mi leche, virgen_?"

"Yes."

"Ask for it."

"Fuck, Danny. I want it. _Da me tu leche. Por favor._ "

Danny tensed and moaned. His cock twitched inside Aaron. Aaron believed he felt two strong spurts and more minor ones after those. It seemed like Danny had a truly long orgasm. The sound between them changed. Danny's cock was sliding with less friction and the slapping sound changed to a wetter sound. Aaron felt some warmth inside. He focused on Danny's face. It showed a look of great pleasure and elation, even triumph and then an affectionate smile appeared.

Aaron felt triumphant as well. After all this time, he had Danny. _And he's not just in bed next to me, kissing me. He is inside me. This is so great! We are as close as two people could ever be._

Danny was watching Aaron. "Oh fuck, you are so hot," he said. He leaned back onto his knees between Aaron's legs. He was still inside Aaron. Now he wrapped his right hand around Aaron's erect penis and started to stroke it up and down slowly. He sped up gradually and then started to push his cock a few inches deeper into Aaron. Aaron moaned and moved his hands on Danny's thighs, gently playing with the soft black hairs. Danny accelerated the movements of his hand and his hips. Aaron tried to grasp the mattress, pushing his fingers into the soft foam. Danny pointed Aaron's cock upward and it began to spurt, drenching Aaron's mouth, chin, his chest and belly.

Danny laughed. "Oh, man. It's good to see everything is working for you. Maybe you shouldn't go so long without..." Danny interrupted himself. He pulled his hips backwards and slowly worked his cock out of Aaron's body. Then he leaned over Aaron and licked his stomach and followed the wet path to his chest, neck and chin. "Umm. Sexy guy," he said.

Aaron was smiling, his face was warm and he was still breathing rapidly. Danny locked the fingers of each hand into Aaron's and pushed his arms above his head as he brought his face up to Aaron's and gave him a long open mouthed kiss.

"Thanks, Danny," Aaron whispered. Danny smiled at him and Aaron lowered his left leg to permit Danny to shift to his side. He lay next to Aaron. With the top of his head, he nuzzled Aaron between his chest and armpit. Aaron turned his chin toward Danny and accepted another kiss. He closed his eyes.

***

A few minutes later, Danny stood above Aaron, enjoying the sight of his relaxed, spent body. Aaron's arms were still spread wide and his legs were apart. Danny loved the look of the dark pubic hair and the hair of Aaron's armpits against his white skin. Aaron had an angelic expression on his face. Danny knew he wasn't asleep but his eyes were closed. He felt no need to ask if Aaron's first time had been good. He congratulated himself on making it memorable.

It was a new experience for Danny. He'd had some great sex before but this was different and so much better. For one thing, the sensations were so much stronger without a condom. He'd only ever tried it like that once, ten years ago. This time he got to finish what he started. It was so great to be able to shoot into this guy's beautiful ass and feel his warmth and the direct contact between his cock and the guy's insides. And, Danny teased himself, he was convinced that he'd gotten a testosterone rush by coming in his partner.

Beyond all that, Danny acknowledged that he had never waited so long to get to fuck a guy. _Is that why I'm feeling this way? Not really._ Was it how hot this one-of-a-kind beauty was? _He is really, fucking good-looking but that's not the main reason._ Danny told himself the truth. It was that he found Aaron's personality so charming. He was just the nicest, hot guy Danny had ever been fortunate enough to get into bed. He laughed to himself. _Maybe Ma is right that what's inside is more important than a person's outer appearance._

Danny slipped back into the bed and lay next to Aaron. He worked his arm under Aaron's neck and hugged him and stroked his belly. Aaron moved finally, sitting up against the headboard. The look he gave Danny offered another possible explanation. Aaron was staring at him like he was the most wonderful person in the world. _It's going to be hard to resist that,_ Danny thought. But there was something else in that face. Aaron's expression also seemed fragile and vulnerable. Danny felt a tinge of uncertainty.

"Welcome back," Danny said.

From the pile of clothes on the floor that he had stripped off earlier, Danny gave Aaron his own blue boxers and tee shirt to put on. He smiled when Aaron held them to his face and inhaled. Danny put on the red flannel boxers he usually slept in and a fresh tee shirt.

They were both _really_ hungry. They went to the kitchen where Danny poured two glasses of milk. They shared a sandwich then sat on the couch cuddling while listening to music.

They went to bed fairly early. Each removed their shorts and shirts before sliding in together under the sheet. They kissed affectionately, holding hands. Just before he turned out the light, Danny looked into Aaron's eyes. They were moist and opened wide and, of course, a beautiful blue-green. Gazing back at Danny, Aaron looked like a cartoon character with the hearts wafting upward to show his enchantment. Danny kissed him.

It was Aaron who rolled onto his side first. Danny followed him. His cock, thighs and knees touched Aaron's rear and the back of his legs. He placed his hand lightly on Aaron's hip. Danny thought he perceived the moment when Aaron fell asleep, when he shuddered and his breathing became deeper. Danny felt himself drifting off soon after.

***

Aaron slept well but woke occasionally, once when Danny moved but the other times for no obvious reason. Each time he took the opportunity to revel in the place he found himself. He would feel affection for Danny and a sensation of comfort and satisfaction would emanate from the center of his body. Each time, Aaron would gently move his rear into Danny's side to be spooned and Danny would oblige him by rolling over and placing his arm around Aaron.

In the morning, in the bright bedroom, Aaron gradually awoke to the full realization that he and Danny were having sex. He recalled starting it by reaching behind him as they lay on their sides together and playing with his sleeping companion's erection. Soon, Aaron had heard the squeak of the lubricant dispenser and by the time he was fully awake, Danny's wet cock was gliding between Aaron's thighs and his right arm was wrapped around Aaron stroking Aaron's cock. Aaron gave Danny a grateful moan.

Danny kissed his shoulder and Aaron felt the force of Danny's hips pounding against his buttocks. Aaron felt pleasure from Danny sliding into the sensitive area of his thighs and pushing against his scrotum and testicles. The tempo of Danny's movement increased slowly but steadily. Both of their breathing became heavier.

Suddenly, Danny stopped. Except for his breathing now, he was completely still. His penis was pushed into Aaron's scrotum so that it separated his testicles; Danny's pubic area pressed against Aaron's buttocks; their thighs, knees, calves and feet were nested against each other and Danny's chest touched Aaron's back so that Aaron could feel the hairs between them and Danny's erect nipples. Every possible point of contact between their two bodies was engaged. Danny even had his lips and tongue on Aaron's neck.

After a moment, Danny patted Aaron gently on the right side of his ass. He pulled his cock from between Aaron's thighs and re-positioned himself to penetrate Aaron.

It required nearly as much pressure as last night until Aaron recalled how to contract some interior muscles to open himself for Danny. Aaron had no fear this morning and as before, Danny stopped all movement briefly after he entered Aaron. The pain seemed to start but then disappeared. Danny began to thrust rhythmically and moan. He had continued to stroke Aaron with his right hand while holding his shoulder with his left. It didn't take long for Aaron to feel the sensation of his pending orgasm and Danny seemed to respond inside him. Danny let out a single loud moan just as Aaron felt his own release inside his groin and saw his semen shoot across the sheet in front of him.

Aaron had that race-winning feeling again. There was joy to learn that it was possible to begin a day in this way and a sense of pride that Danny couldn't wait to have him again.

***

It was a _wonderful_ day. Danny made him a light breakfast. Afterwards, they put on running shorts and long-sleeved tee shirts and walked a half mile to the river. When they reached the bike path, no one was around. Aaron asked and Danny let him give him a kiss before they set off on a run along the dirt trail next to the paved bike lanes. By the time they got back home, they had walked and run ten kilometers.

The day was warm by then. As soon as they stepped back into the house, Danny pulled Aaron to him and kissed him. He moved his hands around Aaron and grabbed his ass and held it throughout the long kiss. They were both sweating from the exertion. Aaron thought Danny smelled intoxicating.

They had a big lunch on the patio. Aaron kidded Danny that there was already a redwood cover and no workmen had shown up.

Danny shrugged. "So I lied. All is fair, right?"

While they were cleaning up, Aaron's phone signaled an arriving text. It was from Michelle. "Go ahead and answer it," Danny said. "I don't mind. Tell her I was good, gentle and romantic but very passionate...the ideal Latin lover."

"Good idea. But, actually, she wasn't worried about you. She wants to know if I screwed up. We were both a little worried."

"You were great. Best ever," Danny said.

Aaron heard his light-hearted tone but was sure he was serious and he intended to text that to Michelle.

They showered and then walked to the community clubhouse where they soaked in the outdoor spa. They had it to themselves in the 65 degree weather and the warm sun of a fading California winter. Aaron had never been so relaxed.

Later, they lounged in Danny's living room, reading-both had textbooks that they opened-and listening to music. At five, Danny said they should get dressed for their night out. However, once in the master suite, before the vanity sink and mirror, when Aaron dropped his shorts, Danny came behind him and initiated another session.

Aaron thought he knew what to expect but this one was different than the first two. They did it mostly standing-some leaning-and they never went to the bed. Danny was even more verbal and it was still in Spanish but his phrases were different. Danny seemed different, more intense and aggressive. He bent Aaron over the marble counter by the sink. He fucked Aaron from behind, holding him by the hips and pulling him hard against him. Aaron watched both their faces in the mirror.

Danny nibbled on Aaron's ears and whispered, " _Eres caliente, mi chico pasivo. Eres mi puto_." He thrust hard and fast from the start, pulling on Aaron's hair as he slammed against him. He didn't take as much time and when it was obvious he was about to come, Aaron heard, " _Toma mi leche en tu culo, mariquita._ "

This new demeanor shocked Aaron. Danny didn't sound playful, he sounded scornful. Aaron knew every word. Instead of slim, handsome or man, Danny had called him whore and queer. It must be an act, he told himself.

Aaron didn't have time to decide how he felt. Danny spun him around and lifted him up onto the counter. He began to suck Aaron vigorously. Aaron was thrilled when Danny pushed his head down onto Aaron's cock so far that his nose touched Aaron's pubic hair. Danny ran his hands along Aaron's thighs and pushed his fingers into the sides of Aaron's glutes. Danny breathed deeply through his nose as his mouth and throat massaged Aaron's cock. He changed the pace and pressure when Aaron started to come. His warm, moist tongue and mouth enveloped Aaron's penis. Aaron felt the back of Danny's throat open and close as he swallowed Aaron's semen. Danny released him and rose to face him and then kissed him ardently as though they hadn't both just come. A moment later he pulled Aaron to his feet. Sounding like a coach, he told Aaron to hit the shower.

A half hour later, still feeling weak in the knees, Aaron walked into a classic sixty-year-old coffee shop in downtown Sacramento with his handsome escort.

# CHAPTER 19

"It's a good thing I'm too old to cry," Aaron told the group of friends gathered to celebrate his birthday. He had felt emotional for weeks now and the last twenty-four hours with Danny had evoked stronger reactions than he had ever known. When he followed Danny into a private room at the restaurant, he was touched to see that Justin, Matthew, Danny's Uncle Ernesto and Uncle Brian and Shelley and Kimmie from the running club had brought him a cake and gifts.

"Just gag gifts, Aaron, but it's a real cake," Justin told him.

"Raunchy gag gifts so you had better prepare yourself," Shelley told him.

The waiter wanted them to take their seats; Matthew wanted the guest of honor to open the presents; and Justin wanted to take a photo of everyone. Justin prevailed. He set up his camera while Danny organized the shot.

"Nice outfits," Uncle Ernesto told Danny and Aaron as he stood next to them.

They laughed. They were wearing the same clothes he and Brian had seen them in the night before.

"I guess you didn't have them on very long last night, did you Danny?"

"No, Tío. But also, I knew Ma would want everybody to see how she dressed up my date."

Ernesto squeezed Aaron's shoulder. "She did a good job."

"Ready everybody," Justin shouted.

A few minutes later, they were seated, the waiter had taken beverage orders-he intentionally skipped Aaron and Danny-and Matthew began to hand cards and gifts to Aaron one by one.

Aaron quickly comprehended the common theme. Shelley was right about "raunchy" being the order of the day. She and Kimmie almost scored the best with a baseball jersey that read "Dude" in big letters and then below, "It Ain't Going to Suck Itself." Brian and Ernesto gave him a box of Twinkies.

"It's the 'Golden Sponge Cake with Creamy Filling,'" Ernesto said suggestively.

Justin gave him bacon-scented underwear.

Matthew handed Aaron a last present in a large gift bag. Aaron looked inside and then read the tag. "Oh, it's from all of you. That's nice."

"Wait a second," Kimmie said, "I don't know anything about it."

"Let's see it," Danny said.

Aaron held up a foam rubber donut-shaped pillow.

"Oh my god!" Justin said.

"It's for his work or home or the car. He can take it with him everywhere," Matthew said with a smirk. "It will make sitting much more comfortable."

"It's very nice," Aaron said with an innocent smile. "Why do you guys think I need this?"

"Uh oh," Shelley said.

"Three reasons, little bro," Matthew said. "First we all know what _he_ gave you for your birthday." He pointed to Danny. The rest of them laughed. Danny refused to acknowledge the suggestion. "I know this guy, remember. I watched him racking up a few...well, anyway, um. The second reason is...I've seen him in the shower." He looked at the girls and mouthed, "Wow."

"What's the third reason?" Aaron asked.

"We've seen your ass, Larkin. It's pretty darn cute. How could he resist?"

Danny dropped his chin to his chest, shaking his head. Kimmie and Shellie applauded. Aaron broke out laughing, joining the others.

"Ignore him, Aaron," Justin said. "It's his warped, homophobic sense of humor. Matthew's obsessed with what we do in bed."

Matthew continued, "Of course, if you don't want it..." He reached toward the pillow in Aaron's hands.

Aaron ignored the outstretched hand and said, "Thank you very much, everyone." He rose, placed the pillow on his chair and sat back down.

The waiter scored the last joke at Aaron and Danny's expense. "Two cherry cokes for the boys," he said cheerily. He placed the glasses in front of them then said, "Oops. Sorry. This one doesn't belong here."

He took the cherry in Aaron's glass by its stem and placed it in Danny's glass.

"Good one, O'Kelly," Danny said to Matthew.

"Hey. I know you earned it," Matthew replied with another smirk.

Aaron shook his head, grinning. Just weeks ago, he thought it would take years to ever get this comfortable with his sexuality.

Brian seemed to read his mind. He asked Aaron how he was feeling about the milestone and being out of the closet.

"Happy but maybe a little shaky. It's a lot going on. But, yeah, I'm _really_ happy."

_Happier than I've ever been,_ Aaron thought. He didn't feel any of his usual sadness. Of course he had one or two worries. It would have been impossible to think otherwise, but he let them fade into the background. You wouldn't notice them unless you were looking for them.

"We told you, _it gets better_ ," Brian said.

Aaron knew Brian referred to the national campaign to prevent gay teen suicides. _Brian gets it,_ he thought _._ _It helps._

Aaron felt much gratitude to each person there. They had a long dinner. When Aaron thanked them for his birthday party, he wondered if they were celebrating something else as well: his first time, maybe? Or better yet, he hoped, they might be celebrating that their friend Danny had found someone.

***

As they stood to leave the restaurant, Justin agreed to go to a straight bar with Matthew, Kimmie and Shelley. Ernesto and Brian announced it was late for "these two old guys." Danny said he was taking Aaron back to the townhouse for _"Netflix and chill."_

That evoked a burst of laughter from all but the older couple.

"What?" Ernesto asked.

"It means they're going to have sex," Justin explained.

It didn't in this case. They really intended to watch a movie but Danny couldn't resist teasing his uncles.

Aaron had agreed with the suggestion of a movie and said he liked Danny's choice. They settled in on Danny's comfortable couch with popcorn and sodas. However, the opening credits showed the London skyline and a building shaped like a penis and that was the last attention Aaron paid to the film maker's creation. His hands were all over Danny's belt and zipper before Danny could hit the pause button on the remote. Soon they were engaged in mutual hand jobs. They finished this round with oral sex. By ten thirty, the young men were naked under the sheets, breathing deeply and sinking into slumber.

# CHAPTER 20

They had gone to sleep in each other's arms but when Danny awoke Sunday morning, Aaron was stretched diagonally across most of the bed. He was on his stomach, sleeping soundly. The sheet traced the beautiful line of his thighs to his ass to his lower back. Danny smiled at the sight.

Danny lay on his back and soon was deep in thought. This was the longest he'd ever spent with a lover. He'd had friends stay the weekend and even former lovers but he'd never had a current boyfriend stay two nights in a row. Danny had mixed feelings, but they weren't about the last thirty-eight hours with Aaron. He'd enjoyed every minute.

Danny had always thought he required some alone time each day. But yesterday, they had never left each other's sight for more than five minutes and Danny had felt no problem. In fact, when he and Aaron were alone together, it seemed to meet Danny's need for solitude.

No, his mixed feelings this morning involved how he had treated Aaron. He'd been considerate and he'd made an effort to plan things Aaron would enjoy but, he wondered now, had he, _maybe,_ gone too far with the sex?

Fuck, asshole, he's only eighteen and he's a pretty young eighteen. A never-been-kissed eighteen. Yes, you went too far.

Danny couldn't say he regretted it because he'd had such a great time with this hot guy that he liked a lot. But now he felt ashamed that Aaron had... that Danny had talked Aaron into...that Danny had not...

_Face it asshole, you're guilty because you fucked him on the first date of his life, when he wasn't ready._ He remembered the look of fear on Aaron's face when he first penetrated him on Friday. Aaron should have been going to dinner and a movie with a guy his own age. They would have made out and jerked each other off in the car. Danny pictured Aaron nervous about going to a prom. That was a long way from a weekend with an aggressive older guy who couldn't get enough of a guy's ass. Then Danny thought: _I didn't get that. Justin didn't. Why should Aaron expect it? Well, that's just it. Aaron doesn't act like he is entitled to anything. He just wants to please me. He trusted me to treat him right and I took advantage._ That was what was bothering Danny.

_It wasn't enough that I fucked him. I talked him into unprotected sex._ Aaron must have been terrified by Danny's asking to do it without protection. And then it must have made it so much worse when Matthew suggested how many guys Danny had been with in college. Not just "been with" but fucked. Matthew made _that_ clear. _How could I have been so selfish? What must he be feeling now? There's really no risk. Should I say something to reassure him?_

As scared as Aaron had looked Friday night, it struck Danny now that it was almost worse Saturday when Danny initiated him into what Danny guessed could be called _rough sex_. It haunted Danny now recalling how Aaron had blushed when he called him a _puto_ yesterday afternoon. He had looked humiliated. _I enjoyed all that so much at Aaron's expense. He looked humiliated because I did humiliate him just so I could feel like I have giant balls._

Danny shook his head. He was surprised that his feelings were so different than he expected. _What happened to just showing a great guy a good time? That's all I meant to do._

_It's complicated,_ he told himself. But why hadn't he given Aaron romance and tenderness? Why had he let himself be so carried away with doing what he wanted?

Why do I feel guilty? Do you think you mean that much to this guy? Yes. And does he mean more to you than maybe you ever would have thought after just one weekend together? I wish I could call Justin...or Uncle Brian. Forget about Aaron for a minute. I'm the one who's out of my league.

Danny whispered a profanity. He turned and glanced at Aaron's shoulders and fought the sudden urge to straddle him and start up again. He got up, stuffed his erection into his underwear and went to the kitchen. He started the oven for a frozen quiche and opened a deli container of fresh fruit. He turned on the coffee maker for himself-he would pour a glass of milk for Aaron at the table. He placed croissants on a plate and put out jam and butter. Then Danny went back into the bedroom. He slid under the covers and across the bed until he was against Aaron's naked body. When Aaron woke, Danny gave him an affectionate, innocent kiss. Aaron looked at him longingly. He looked vulnerable. Danny felt Aaron start to tremble.

Danny hugged him and said very seriously, "This has been really great for me, the best ever, but I'm worried...I mean, I know I introduced you to things kind of fast. I feel a little guilty."

"It's ok," Aaron said, looking apprehensive.

"Well, your first time should be less... _intense._ You know, work up to all of this over a few weeks, maybe. I started a lot sooner than you have and I had a few years to try everything out and get used to it. I'm sorry I rushed things. I hope I didn't scare you or maybe get too, um, rough. It's just that you are really sexy. Matthew was right; you do have the cutest ass ever. I wanted to grab it the first time I saw you, when you bent over to pick up Daisy's leash." He paused, wondering what to say next.

Aaron had that sweet smile Danny was starting to love. "They would have kicked us out of the park," he said.

They both laughed.

"OK, buddy. I promise to keep my hands off you for a while and let you relax. Come on out to the kitchen for breakfast."

They had a quieter day. They didn't leave the house and they both got some studying done. Three different times, they started kissing, deep full erotic kissing, and they hugged and caressed each other's bodies but only above the waist because they had decided they wouldn't go any farther today. Throughout the day, Danny observed that Aaron would gaze at him adoringly. It worried him but he had to admit it had any effect. Aaron's eyes were greenish today, matching the emerald green knit shirt he pulled on that morning when he walked into the kitchen.

Danny had suggested the plan to abstain. He was satisfied and he thought Aaron was and he believed it would be better for Aaron to have a break. His reasoned intention fell by the wayside. That afternoon, they began another romantic coupling in the hour before Aaron would have to leave for home. Sitting together on the couch, both wearing only shorts and tank tops, Danny's willpower gave way in the middle of a kiss when he happened to slide his hand between Aaron's thighs and felt his erection. Danny led Aaron back to the bedroom.

The sight of Aaron's naked body thrilled him again as it had many times since Friday night. He definitely loved that black hair against the white skin. His chest was more defined than it had been before the regular workouts last month. Aaron's legs and ass were hard muscle. Danny lay against Aaron, putting as much bare skin in contact as possible. This time, Danny made sure to treat him gently. He took time giving him pleasure with his tongue. He smiled when Aaron asked to play with his cock. Danny lay on his back and Aaron moved between his legs. As Danny had done with him, Aaron attempted to take Danny's cock all the way in his throat. When he gagged, Danny told him how to do it by relaxing his throat and breathing through his nose.

Later, Aaron appeared so intent as he played with Danny's foreskin both with tongue and fingers and it lasted so long, that Danny had to laugh.

"You love that thing, don't you?"

"Yes I do. It's so much fun. Like a bonus."

"I'll tell my parents you said thank you.

After a while, Danny pushed Aaron gently onto his back. He took both of their cocks in his hand and rocked his hips to rub them together. Then Danny lubed his penis and slid between Aaron's thighs in a way that really seemed to please Aaron. Danny came without penetrating him this time. He sucked Aaron's cock and balls and then concentrated on the head of his cock until Aaron climaxed in his mouth. They lay together until it was time for Aaron to shower and dress.

***

It wasn't a long drive home Sunday afternoon, but Aaron managed to get in a lot of thinking. He had never imagined he could be so comfortable being naked and doing those things. The sex had brought him so completely close to Danny. Guiding the Dodge Magnum station wagon through light, Sunday suburban traffic, Aaron reminded himself to pay attention to the road.

... _And then all the time after, when my head was on Danny's chest and my cheek on his skin, breathing the same air and smelling him. And then kissing him wherever my mouth happened to be._ Aaron chuckled at his own thoughts.

Of course, it probably wasn't as perfect as he had just told himself. _Maybe not perfect but really close._ No, it hadn't been perfect. Sometimes when they were having sex, Aaron had worried, knowing that his inexperience was showing. Danny must have noticed how awkward he was doing all those things. It also seemed like what was mainly going on was Danny trying to give him a good time. He'd made Danny do all the work. He'd sat back looking shy, or really scared. He was seized with the thought that Danny might not have enjoyed himself as much as Aaron did.

And then there was Saturday afternoon to think about. It didn't really bother him but he had to try to figure out what was going on with Danny when they did it before the party. _He's kind of complicated._ What was his macho act Saturday afternoon about? What he said and how he said it, when he was fucking Aaron in front of the mirror, reminded Aaron of Ramiro's friends out drinking when they would talk about girls. With them it would be one crude thing after another...really derogatory conversation. "Does she swallow?" "The hot bitch begged for it." "Cabron, you pounded her right on her kitchen table?" Ramiro had scolded his friends for being disrespectful of women. What Danny said had that same tone. It wasn't very kind or romantic. But, Aaron pointed out to himself, it had been exciting.

_What was Danny thinking?_ Had Aaron lowered himself in Danny's eyes by being so...passive? It was confusing. Danny seemed to have been trying to make up for it on Sunday. It was like maybe he felt sorry for Aaron. But even after that, Danny had still decided everything they would do. He clearly didn't expect Aaron to be assertive.

_So what, I had a great time. I could ask him about it. Well, even after everything we shared, I can't think of asking him about that._ _And anyway, I think Danny liked it all._

Then Aaron thought of the last thing he wanted to be thinking. Involuntarily, he imagined what his grandfather and family would say about him doing those things. He thought about Danny's father's reaction when Danny was fourteen. Enrique had actually seen it, but Grandad would be worse, Aaron was sure. The situation was a little different. Aaron being on all fours while Danny pounded his ass was kind of in line with Aaron being a wimp at Tae Kwando and being afraid of the ball in Little League. It was the same issue he'd been living with since he was a child. Now it had reached the preordained conclusion. Grandad probably expected this.

_Dude, that's one of the stupidest things you've ever come up with to worry about!_ _Grandad won't care what you did. It's all equally disgusting to him._

When he walked across the lawn from the street to the front door, Aaron reminded himself to act like nothing had happened. Grandad asked a few questions about the weekend. Aaron gave his prepared responses. He thought he must have sounded convincing.

All through dinner, what he really wanted was to see Michelle. He was ready to leave as soon as Grandad took his last bite. To his surprise, nobody objected to him rushing off.

His mother teased him. "Didn't you just see her all weekend?"

"No. I promised Grandad I wouldn't have anyone over," he said.

Dawn winked at the older man. "Someone needs to tell him that mothers and grandfathers don't always expect the truth from an eighteen-year-old boy."

***

Five minutes later, Aaron realized he should have decided in advance how much to tell Michelle. She sat in her desk chair and he lay on the bed. She looked really happy for him and eager.

_I'll just share my feelings,_ he thought. _I'll give her a high-level summary of what happened_.

"My sweet Aaron had sex," she said, sounding parental. "You've grown up so fast." Then, sounding like a sports reporter interviewing an athlete after a game, she asked, "How does Danny look naked?"

Aaron didn't mind revealing that. He started out describing Danny's chest and shoulders, his light brown skin and long, lean body and before he realized, she had him talking about his sexy black pubic hair and how big his cock and balls were. None of that bothered him but he blushed when he began to offer one detail.

"What is it?" she asked, smiling expectantly.

"He's uncut."

"How does it look?"

"Really beautiful. It's like it's perfect." Aaron smiled and chuckled. "And it's so much fun to play with."

"You perv, is that why you've been stalking him all year?"

"Yeah, mainly. I even like the word _foreskin_."

It wasn't taking her long to get the whole story. At one point, he interrupted his account to say, "I know I must have looked immature and awkward but I don't care. I don't mind telling you about it either. I'm not self-conscious, am I?"

"No. It's great that we can be so honest about everything."

From his description, Michelle agreed he had done quite well at oral sex. She pointed out that she had three times more experience than he had.

"Well, you've sucked three. I've just had one. Two if you count my own."

"Oh, my god. You did _not_ just say that!"

He said he was kidding, but she clearly knew that was a lie.

Moments later, he responded to her direct question and revealed that they had had anal sex. She seemed shocked but soon she had him describing how it felt when Danny pushed his legs apart and penetrated him. Aaron had become very serious.

"Didn't it hurt?" she asked.

"Yeah. But not so much after a while."

"Did you like it? Did you really like it?"

He nodded.

"Oh my god." She didn't say it in a loud voice; she just sounded impressed.

They stared at each other and then he shrugged.

"It's good," she said. "It's human."

"You didn't expect this from me, did you?"

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought everything through." She smiled. "Yeah well, I know, I mean I've read...anyway I'm glad you had fun. How many times did you do it?"

"Four, counting today, when he didn't...well, he stayed outside the last time."

"But he used a condom all the other times, right?"

"Well..."

Michelle looked at him. He knew she could tell the truth from his reaction. He couldn't hide that he had ignored what they had been taught about safe sex and had agreed to skip the condoms. He was suddenly afraid she was going to become very angry.

"Oh, god, Aaron! How could you?"

She _was_ mad.

He sat up on the edge of the bed. He started to give her Danny's justification. He was going to say that Danny knew about medicine but he lost his nerve under her glare.

"People don't always tell the truth, you know, _Aaron_."

Though she was only three months older, she had been taller until last year, and always had been more mature. Her disapproval stung.

"It's all right, Michelle. I know it was safe. He wouldn't lie. Don't worry."

No matter what she said now, he couldn't give up the promise of Danny coming in him in the future. Though he hadn't even thought about that kind of thing just a week earlier, now it was too important to him.

He rose from the bed and stood before her, his head hanging. He hated that she thought less of him and that he was going to mislead her about the next time.

"Can I have a hug," he asked. He started to say something and then his words caught in his throat. For a second, he thought he was going to cry then he shook his head smiling. He knew when she hugged him that she could feel him trembling.

"All right. Well, anyway," Michelle observed, "It sounds like your first time was a lot more fun than mine. I wonder if it's because that's the way gay guys are about sex or is it that you're in love?"

# CHAPTER 21

In the following weeks and months, a recurring set of issues vied for dominance in the lives of the lovers: sex, their relationship, Aaron's coming out process, running, school and work. Soon, the relationship issue would seem the most complicated and would take the center stage but at first, sex was their main concern; specifically, when and how they would get it.

The desire hadn't weakened when they met at work on Monday. Aaron wanted to jump into Danny's arms as soon as he saw him. Danny admitted he would have caught him and made love to him on the lobby counter, if there had been a little more privacy.

Aaron had already analyzed their situation. He told Danny he had to be home for dinner right after quitting time and they agreed it wouldn't be wise to try to meet on some pretense on these weekday _school nights_. Aaron did have homework, after all.

They made it until Wednesday when Aaron came to work planning to entice Danny into letting Aaron suck him off in Danny's small office. Danny yielded to the temptation. He was uncomfortable with the fact that they had done it so near their coworkers but he did admit it was fantastic.

Finally, on Thursday Aaron texted Danny they could meet again at his townhouse tomorrow night, but only for the evening. Aaron had lied to his family, telling them he was going out with friends from the YMCA. Grandad was concerned that there might be drinking but Aaron promised him he would call his grandmother for a ride back to his car if anyone in the group had anything to drink. Again on Saturday, Aaron claimed to be working more hours than he really was so that he and Danny could go back to the house right after the clinic closed in the afternoon.

Those two times, on Friday and Saturday, Aaron felt much more comfortable with what they did. Danny took charge as soon as Aaron stepped through the door. There was food from the deli but meals were a secondary priority. When they weren't engaged in sex, they were still usually next to each other and touching. Danny almost always had his hand on Aaron's ass. During sex, Aaron didn't worry so much about coming too soon and he experienced very little pain after the first few seconds each time Danny penetrated him. He paid attention to Danny's signals and tried to give as much pleasure as he received. Still, Danny took charge and, Aaron believed, did most of the work.

The next Monday, they were called into Danny's uncle's office. On St. Patrick's Day when they met for drinks, Dr. Avila had learned from his sister that Danny and Aaron were starting a relationship. Technically, he told them today good-naturedly, he was with them on their first date. He told them he was happy for them and that he wanted the rest of the staff to know they were dating. Of course, there would be no special treatment of them by him or by them for each other and it was important not to create any issues in the workplace. They must not behave in any way that would make their coworkers or visitors uncomfortable. They could go to lunch together, but during working hours, there should be no indication of their relationship.

Nora and Julie didn't follow that rule. They constantly referred to them as boyfriends and teased and doted on them. Dr. Avila never said anything to his office manager and assistant but his talk to his nephew and his part-time clerk/delivery person put an end to any future lunchtime blow jobs.

They still went to the YMCA.

For the first few weeks, with two exceptions, they secured alone time only on Friday nights and Saturdays after work. Once, their friend Justin missed lunch, leaving them in his office alone. When he texted them he would not return, they engaged in their second session of midweek oral sex. That day, Danny obliged Aaron by coming in his face. Aaron teased him that he was not going to wipe it off but would return to the clinic that way. Danny called him a freak. It was not a comfortable place for sex but it eased the tension before the next weekend.

It was a great relief each time Friday arrived. Aaron never _asked_ Danny if he could spend the evening with him on either Friday or Saturday. From the start, Aaron _assumed_ they would be together every chance they got. Aaron steadily improved at being able to prolong his orgasm even when Danny was making continued contact with his penis. Danny learned every aspect of Aaron's sexual responses and he learned something new about himself. He realized he could get intense erotic pleasure experiencing Aaron react to his touch. Both young men learned that their nipples were a much more erogenous zone than they had assumed and they each took advantage of their new knowledge.

***

One day during the second week, Danny came home from the clinic alone to his dark house. He opened the refrigerator and found it stocked with milk, eggs, cheese, tortillas, sliced meats, fruit and vegetables. The cupboard that had been empty in the morning, now held bread, cereal, some canned soups and vegetables and bags of nuts and dried fruit. It shocked him that Aaron would do that.

He found himself recalling earlier experiences with guys at college. He had ended those relationships...why? It was partly because the other person became too serious too soon. He was relieved that he hadn't reacted that way to Aaron who sometimes seemed not to see the boundaries that Danny took for granted. There was something different with this cute, charming young guy.

On this particular occasion, Aaron wasn't guilty...or at least he shared the guilt. The next day, Danny looked for Aaron between appointments. He caught him settling in at his desk. Danny took his wallet out and tried to reimburse Aaron for the groceries.

"No thanks," Aaron said. "Your mom gave me the money."

Leticia had told him to do it. Along with the money, she gave him a list and loaned him her key to Danny's front door. With Nora's permission, he'd stopped at the store while out making a delivery.

From across the room, Nora and Julie were chuckling at Danny's reaction.

"Mama's boy," Julie teased.

Danny ignored her. Later that day, he gave Aaron a key to his townhouse.

***

Aaron still worried that he should be more assertive in bed but they always reverted to their original roles with Danny taking the lead and, Aaron believed, making the greater effort in their love-making. Danny seemed to sense something because several times he told Aaron to relax, he didn't need to try so hard. Danny frequently revealed his rougher side again when he would become more physical, manhandling Aaron and pounding his cock into Aaron, and would resort again to derogatory language. Those occasions left Aaron confused and embarrassed but also sexually satisfied.

Soon after they disclosed their relationship to their coworkers and Aaron had heard himself referred to as Danny's boyfriend, he asked Danny, "Are we boyfriends?"

"Yes. We're dating so we're boyfriends."

"Is it too early for matching tattoos?"

"Definitely."

"Ok."

Aaron didn't have to say he was thrilled to be Danny's boyfriend.

***

One of the many traits Danny loved about his best friend was the effort Justin made to be a good listener. Justin instantly understood that Danny wouldn't have been so quick to use the boyfriend designation _and_ that he didn't mind agreeing when Aaron asked about it.

They were talking on the phone while Danny drove home from work.

"You're ok with that?"

"Yeah, no problem. He was so sweet about it and looked so happy, I was glad to let him have that."

"I can understand. He _is_ a nice guy."

"Oh, yeah," Danny agreed.

"Danny, it's going pretty fast. Are you comfortable with that?"

"I know what you mean, Jay," Danny said solemnly. Danny knew that Justin must be thinking about a few guys over the years who hadn't made it passed the first week with him. "Right from the start the boy has just assumed ownership of my free time. He tells me when and where we're going to get together and he apologizes for all the nights and Sundays he can't be with me because of school or his family."

"Oh." The surprise and concern in Justin's voice was evident. "Your parents sure act like Aaron is _the one_ , don't they?"

"That's an understatement, Jay. They like him better than you or me."

"That's not fair!" Justin was laughing.

"I don't mind," Danny said. "The sex is great and I'm having fun and no one can rush me to move any faster than I want to. Yeah, Aaron assumes a lot but I'll slow him down when I have to. For now, this is great."

***

Aaron didn't really take Danny for granted. He didn't know any better. He had enjoyed himself so much their first weekend that it was unimaginable to him that Danny would not want to be with him again at every opportunity.

On the Wednesday of their second week, Danny's mother dropped by the clinic. Before she left with Nora for lunch, Leticia stopped to greet her son and Aaron on their way to the gym. She was staring so affectionately at the two of them, Aaron was surprised. At first, he assumed she was looking at Danny but then it was obvious her loving look included him. Aaron felt a surge of optimism. It must have been warranted because before she left, she had called him "hijo" and invited him to dinner that evening.

***

"Is that old guy bothering you?" Amy asked Aaron as she entered the family room of her parents' farmhouse. Danny had his arm around Aaron. They were seated on the couch. Aaron smiled at his boyfriend's youngest sister. Of all the family, she was the one who loved to tease Danny the most, although she usually managed to egg twenty-two-year-old Emily into joining her.

"Why don't you help Mama with dinner while we borrow Aaron," Amy said to Danny. She offered Aaron her hand and helped him up from the sofa.

Minutes later, Aaron was in Emily's room with the two sisters installing the Skype application on their laptop. Aaron had met the two before on several occasions but this was the first time since he had become Danny's boyfriend and the first time he had been alone with them. He felt quite comfortable. While he worked, they described what it would be like for him at Sacramento State next fall, where they both were students.

Emily warned that the student parking lots were very far away so he needed to allow himself an extra half hour to get to his classroom.

"I guess _you_ could get by with less time if you put on your running shoes," Amy teased.

"Seriously, Aaron," Emily said sounding like a big sister, "there's no requirement that you go to class and there's no homework to turn in, just exams and papers. You are on your own to get the reading done and keep up. It's easy to get into trouble if you think you can kick back."

"You're not like that, are you Aaron?" Amy said, taunting him amiably. "I'll bet you always do your work ahead of time?"

"Yes," Aaron confessed.

"Danny was really serious in veterinary school but he goofed off some in college," Emily said.

"Speaking of Danny..." Amy said. Her pause drew the others' attention. Emily had an apprehensive look.

"What?" Aaron asked.

"We're concerned that he isn't good enough for you."

"Amy!" Emily admonished her sister.

"Seriously, Aaron," Amy kept teasing, "what do you see in him."

Aaron chuckled. "He's the most wonderful person I've ever met."

"Do you like older guys?" Amy asked.

"I guess," Aaron responded. "He's my first boyfriend."

"Well," Amy said, "make sure he treats you right or we'll kick his butt."

From the hall, Aaron heard another young female voice call out, "Where's this cute Irish boy that Ma picked out for Danny?"

There was no doubt this was the eldest of the three sisters who entered Emily's bedroom now. Aaron knew she was pregnant but it didn't show. He stood to greet her with a polite kiss to the cheek as he had learned in Costa Rica.

Amy introduced them in her best Spanish. " _Te presento a mi hermana mayor Abigail. Señora, esto es Aaroncito, el enamorado de nuestro hermano._ " She spoke with only a moderately-strong American accent.

The young women laughed because Aaron had blushed at the sound of her first words in the hall and now was quite red. Abigail apologized. "I wasn't serious about Ma _choosing_ you for Danny but she really likes you. So does Papi."

Emily said, "Let's give Aaron a break. They've only been dating a few weeks, Abby."

"Well you're the first boyfriend he's brought home for us to meet," Abby said. "We were beginning to wonder if he was secretly straight or something." Then, seeming to try to sound casual, she asked, "How old are you Aaron?"

"It's ok," Amy said. "I carded him. He's legal."

The oldest sister shook her head good naturedly. "Danny looks like he's barely twenty and now he's found a guy who looks even younger. It's kind of funny."

Emily held up her hand to her sisters. "We really like you Aaron. We're just kidding. You know, right?"

"I do," Aaron said confidently. He looked at all three with real desire of a sort. Each of them resembled Danny and their mother, two people he adored and he felt a sense of urgency that they like him. Aaron was already dreaming of a lifetime of family gatherings, holidays and weddings. It made him nervous that Danny's sisters were jumping the gun along with him. Danny had made absolutely no promises or declarations other than that they were boyfriends. Aaron chastised himself for feeling a twinge of melancholy that Danny had been so careful not to say anything beyond that because Aaron knew his fantasy was completely unreasonable...at this time.

***

It did not take too long before Aaron realized that the club's frequent races and fun runs on Sundays gave him an excuse to be away from home until Grandad's Sunday afternoon dinner. Danny usually went to his parents' home for that meal. Aaron did long for the day when he would go with him but for now, they used the hours after the run for more time together. Often, depending on the location of the race, they would meet their friends at a restaurant or the apartments of Matthew, Kimmie or Shelley before heading to Danny's townhouse for midday sex.

It was around this time that Aaron first realized that he saw his identity in the world now as "Danny's boyfriend." More than once he was introduced that way. It happened a few times with other runners, then when Aaron met Danny's older brother and sister-in-law for the first time and again when he met Justin's parents.

***

The first Sunday in April, during a 10K race, Aaron was running well ahead of his friends and most of the pack and thinking about _who he was_.

Last year in Costa Rica, I was the Torres family's "gringito." Before that, I saw myself as a Kennedy High cross-country and distance runner. And before that I was Charles Larkin's uncoordinated grandson. And now I'm Danny's boyfriend. All pretty simple, really.

Jumping over puddles and dodging tree roots, Aaron wondered, _Does Danny ever think of his role in the world as being Aaron's boyfriend?_ The question didn't require much debate. _No, I know he doesn't._ Aaron believed Danny's identity was as Dr. Quintana, the vet. _Before that?_ Aaron guessed that he saw himself and the world saw him as Enrique and Leticia's son.

Still, Aaron was happy thinking he had the title _Danny's boyfriend_. Nearing the end of the race, he passed three runners and eyed the finish line ahead. _Danny's boyfriend_ , he repeated in his mind. He thought it would be great if all his friends and coworkers forgot his name and just called him that. He smiled as he ran.

_What would Michelle say about this latest idea? She'd say, "That's messed up!" She would be right._ He attributed it to all the blood rushing away from his brain to his legs, lungs and heart.

To be more accurate, Aaron saw himself as Danny's boyfriend _and_ a runner. Unfortunately, he was not a Kennedy High runner anymore. He had wanted to rejoin the track team for his last semester but dropped the idea when the practice schedule conflicted with his job. Now he had hopes of becoming a Sacramento State runner. Missing his entire senior year of high school competition, Aaron suspected, would hurt his chances of making the team. His plan was to keep training and show that he could win some of the organized races the running club participated in. But that really wasn't much to go on.

Matthew rescued his fading hopes that day. He knew all about Aaron's potential collegiate athletic career and introduced Aaron to the person who might make it possible.

Shirley Nilsen was a retired P.E. teacher with a stellar thirty-five year record in coaching boys and girls teams to the state cross-country championships. She had seen Aaron run many times since January and, when Matthew approached her, she agreed to coach him. Coach Nilsen and Aaron soon established a schedule that had her working with Aaron three evenings a week and Sundays at the regular races. It meant now that Aaron would start work an hour earlier on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, thus losing his YMCA workouts with Danny and Justin but Aaron had no option but to accept. His friends wouldn't let him pass up the opportunity and he recognized this was his only real path to college running.

Matthew warned Aaron that she was very slightly homophobic. Aaron soon learned that that was incorrect. Coach Nilsen "hated" all people equally and seemed completely unaware of race, religion, sexual orientation or anything else. They began working together the next day and kept that schedule for the next four months. She never talked about anything personal with Aaron, whom she seemed always to assume was Matthew's younger brother. In fact they only ever talked about his running. But she was the best coach he ever had.

# CHAPTER 22

Aaron was daydreaming on Monday morning. He was doing that a lot lately. Fortunately, he had been attentive at the right time Saturday to learn from his mother that his grandparents had gone to Reno and would be away for two nights. Dawn had winked and informed him he was on his own for Sunday dinner.

When they left the race yesterday, he had the whole day to spend with Danny. It had been a perfect day: running, brunch with friends, sex, Sunday dinner at the Quintana farmhouse and then listening to music and more sex at the townhouse. Danny came in him, the second time, when he was fully-dressed and about to leave for home, a little before ten o'clock. They had done it on the couch. Aaron even had his shoes on.

This Monday morning, twelve hours later, Aaron and his classmates in Senior English, including his one-time crush Jared, waited outside the second story classroom in an interior hall. Aaron leaned against the wall holding his notebook. He was daydreaming about having Danny's semen still in him and feeling the sensation of Danny's cock penetrating him. He pictured the two of them on the couch, seeing himself and Danny from above. A stream of light, like a laser, followed a path from Danny's body into his own while they made love. He was thinking of the power of the light entering his body when he realized his classmates were talking to him.

"Dude, Aaron you _are_ in love, aren't you?" one of them challenged.

"Wow. Don't try to deny it," Jared said enthusiastically. "You have all the symptoms."

"Of course he's in love," Mrs. Walkes said, arriving just in time to hear. "It's spring and he's eighteen. If the rest of you are not in love now, you soon will be." She gave them a knowing smile. "Enjoy it."

"With that look on your face," Michelle told him between classes, "I don't know how long you'll be able to keep this a secret."

***

Danny and Aaron's relationship hit a bump that afternoon, the day after their wonderful Sunday together.

Sure, Danny thought. This is less than ideal but I have no choice.

Danny had five minutes between appointments to tell Aaron. He called him into the examining room. While he was cleaning up he broke the news.

"I'm going to Mexico next week," he said. It sounded colder than he wanted. "O'Kelly planned this trip last fall when he had a girlfriend. As usual, that only lasted three weeks and so he asked me to go with him. We'll be at some beach hotel in Puerto Vallarta for eight days. I'm sorry."

Danny added the last two words quickly when he saw Aaron's face. "I wish I could get out of it but..."

"No. Right. You can't. He's counting on you." Aaron interrupted. His mood had gone from delight to dejection in the time it took for Danny to speak a few sentences. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

_That's a good question,_ Danny told himself. "I don't know. I thought of it but we always had something better to do, bud," he said hoping to cheer Aaron. "Seriously, I hadn't given it much thought and, I guess...I don't know..."

Danny put his arm around him and touched Aaron's face with his own.

"Eight days," Aaron said with a sigh.

"Yeah. It wouldn't seem like very long except that...you and I, you know..."

Aaron nodded.

"It will probably be good for us," Danny told him.

Aaron made no response.

_Fuck. Why did I say that? He looks like I hit him. "_ I mean, it will make you miss me. I know I'll miss you." _Am I digging in deeper?_ "Seriously, Aaron. It won't be any fun without you. I'll be watching Matthew chasing hot girls while I work out alone in the gym or take lonely walks on the beach. You can catch up on your homework and I'll be back in no time."

Aaron looked so sad Danny wished he could cancel his plans but, of course, he knew it wouldn't be right. Danny also felt just the slightest irritation that Aaron was making this so difficult.

Throughout the rest of the day-week, really-it bothered Danny that Aaron had taken the news the way he did. It scared him a little too. With further contemplation, Danny realized that Aaron had sometimes seemed down before Danny told him about his plans. They had been so busy with work and play it wasn't usually noticeable but Aaron had seemed to grow subdued from time to time. Now, Aaron would not admit to anything being wrong, other than that he would miss him but Danny suspected something was bothering him and he feared that it was more than just the week apart and he, Danny, was the cause. This sparked a nagging worry in Danny's mind that would soon affect _his_ mood.

***

Michelle noticed the change in her friend immediately. Aaron had been so elated since his first date with Danny that she hadn't expected to observe signs of a return to his old temperament. She didn't see Aaron until the day after Danny broke the news. That night, he lay on her bed looking dejected.

"Is that what's getting you down, Aaron?" she asked. She could tell it had stung that Danny tried to tell Aaron it would be good for them to be separated this short time.

"That's most of it."

"Most?"

Aaron shook his head. "Oh, you know me. I'm always worrying about something."

"But Danny's never given you a reason to worry about him, has he?"

"No." Aaron stared glumly at the ceiling. Without looking at her he said, "Danny's never told me he loves me."

"It's been...how long?"

"Two and a half months."

"You're counting from your first kiss?"

Aaron sat up suddenly and swung his legs around to face her. "Yes. I _could_ add a month and count from when we first met."

He sounded almost belligerent...well, by Aaron's standards.

"Hang on, buster," Michelle said good-naturedly. She turned her back to him and began clicking her keyboard. After a few seconds she said, "Here. It's a Match.com survey. It says most couples say 'I love you' at around five months. That's 144 days. Two months is about the earliest anyone does it, according to the survey."

"Oh. Well, anyway, Michelle you agree, don't you, that he should be the one to say it first?"

"Because he's the older one?"

"Yes. He's the one with the job and the house. I'm just a stupid high school student."

"I see what you mean. You don't want to look like you're desperate, like you want him to take care of you."

"That's right. In our situation he should be the one."

"But like I said, he's not really taking too long. Five months from your birthday would be August."

"Aghh," Aaron moaned. "I can't wait that long."

"So is that what's really bothering you?"

"I don't know. I guess not. I'm sorry to be such a pain in the ass."

"I don't mind."

"Thanks. I'll be ok. You know this always passes."

Michelle knew otherwise. Aaron had been depressed most of their sophomore and junior years. Not really bad, but enough for her to always keep aware of what he was feeling. Tonight he seemed like he was heading back in that direction.

Days ago, she had told Aaron that she and her family would also be away next week. He didn't bring it up now and she thought better of reminding him. Michelle made a mental note to call Justin and ask him to spend extra time with Aaron.

# CHAPTER 23

The day of Danny's departure came. Matthew had arranged for a ride to the airport. It was just as well, Danny thought, that Aaron did not have to drop them off. He'd been looking more downcast every day. He and Aaron had not had much time together during the week. On Tuesday, during their lunch hour, Danny had them skip the gym. They went to his townhouse for a quick session of mutual blow jobs. On Thursday, Danny broke his personal rule and they had a make-out session in his office during his afternoon break. It was only fifteen minutes but it had been fun. It seemed to cheer Aaron temporarily. He gave Aaron a notebook to carry back to his desk to hide his erection.

***

After Danny left, Aaron knew he wasn't hiding his depression but he could not help it. Michelle and her family left a day later for a Caribbean cruise and Justin soon left too for a visit to his grandparents' home in San Francisco. Aaron's trainer Coach Shirley never took time off, so that helped. Nora let him put in extra hours at work every day that week. He dodged her questions when she asked him what was bothering him.

"Just missing my boyfriend," he told her.

Leticia dropped in only once the whole week, on Wednesday, but it helped. He saw Danny's eyes in her and realized that Danny's speech pattern was very similar to his mother's. She invited him to Easter dinner with her family. It would have been his fondest wish to be with them for a few hours while he endured the last three days of Danny's absence but he was expected to go with his grandparents to his uncle's house.

_That's assuming I make it to Sunday without jumping into the river,_ he thought. Then he told himself, _Shut up, asshole. Don't even joke about that._

On Easter morning, Aaron joined the 8K fun run in a park near Danny's house. Of his group of friends, only Kimmie and Shelley were there. Like most other's he knew, they assumed he was unhappy about Danny being gone. They told him to cheer up.

Grandad went to a morning soccer game that Aaron's youngest male cousin, sixteen-year-old Jordan, was playing in. Grandma and the others went with her church-going daughter-in-law to the holiday service and then everyone met at Aaron's aunt and uncle's house for early dinner.

Aaron had one extra thing to be unhappy about. David didn't come home for spring break but instead went with his girlfriend and her family to their condo in Palm Springs.

After dinner, the cousins were all in Aaron's aunt's kitchen at the table. One of the girls, sixteen-year-old Nicole, asked Aaron why he was so moody lately.

"Can't you tell?" Jordan interjected. "He's in love."

"No, Aaron? Really?" the older girl Rachael asked sympathetically.

"Seriously, dude," Jordan teased. "He's practically walking around with a permanent hard-on. Haven't you noticed?"

The girls were shocked. Unconsciously, Aaron glanced at his crotch, causing Jordan to erupt in laughter.

Aaron blushed and shook his head.

Filling his brother David's role for the day, second-eldest Ethan came to Aaron's rescue. "Knock it off, dickhead," he told Jordan. Then he said, "Sorry, Aaron. He needs to grow up."

Within days, one of the cousins told her mother that Aaron had a girlfriend and a week later, the aunt told his grandmother. When Charles Larkin was informed, his response had been a solemn, all-knowing nod.

***

Aaron survived another two days, until Tuesday. Danny had called or texted every day and that had helped. Unfortunately, Danny's plane departed three hours late from Mexico. Aaron got his text with the disappointing news that afternoon at the office.

Sorry, guapo. Don't wait up for me. I'll see you tomorrow at the clinic. I really miss you.

Aaron went directly home. Before he sat down to dinner, he texted Michelle. She was not expecting him tonight but he headed off a request that he come over to study by writing that he was tired and going to bed early. He took a call from her after dinner. She was just checking on him, she said.

***

Danny returned from vacation having had a bad time; nothing but hanging out with Matthew and a straight, drinking crowd, exercising, staying in their hotel room reading or once, sitting outside for two hours while Matthew and a college student engaged in sex.

Back at work Wednesday morning, Danny worried about their relationship. Was Aaron demanding too much too soon? Was Danny becoming too dependent on Aaron? Of course, he recognized, or thought he did, the other problem and he resolved to try to fix that, but his worry stayed with him. Maybe this was the challenge of dating a teenager, he thought. Then he thought of how eager he was to see that teenager's sweet, handsome face.

Aaron had his training sessions Wednesday and Thursday so, even if they could have contrived an excuse for him to leave the house one of those nights, it wasn't possible. It seemed longer than fifty-four and a half hours, but Friday night finally arrived. When they got to Danny's townhouse after work, neither of them was interested in dinner.

Their first time, _post-_ spring break, was very good, no, _great_ from Danny's point of view, but he sensed that Aaron was disappointed. Not from anything he said, it was just that Aaron still seemed moody afterwards. After dinner, when they went back to bed for another round, Danny got really excited by a certain position he had placed Aaron in and felt his macho personality start to take hold. He tried to stop himself; he didn't do any of the Spanish insults this time but he still fucked Aaron really hard and slapped his ass when he came. Aaron looked humiliated and fearful.

Silently, Danny berated himself for not having the willpower to treat Aaron like he thought Aaron wanted. He wasn't going to take all the blame, though. He asked Aaron sometimes to say what he wanted and he always claimed everything was great when it clearly wasn't. An uncomplimentary thought crossed Danny's mind: _Aaron is kind of high maintenance_. Still he wished he hadn't left for the week. He feared for their future but told himself he would not be the one to break up. He enjoyed Aaron's company too much to voluntarily give it up. Even when Aaron was letting his negative mood show, Danny still wanted to be close to him. He also wouldn't voluntarily give up the sex because it was the best ever.

A few minutes later, Aaron seemed happy-Danny knew from experience Aaron got kind of moony whenever Danny came in him-but then, a few minutes after that, Aaron seemed needy and then seemed to pull back, like he wanted to resist showing Danny he cared too much.

_It's all tied in knots,_ Danny thought.

***

They were back to their normal routine on Saturday and Sunday, but it did not feel the same to Danny. He had just returned from a really depressing ten days in Mexico and Aaron had seemed standoffish...well, kind of, off and on...ever since.

Even Justin, who had only seen Aaron once for a half hour one time after the holiday, noticed Aaron's sudden dark mood and anxiety. "Wow, dude," he told Danny on the phone Saturday. "Aaron is really pessimistic. The boy is _gloomy."_

On Sunday, after the morning run, the couple skipped brunch and came back to Danny's house. It was there, at the kitchen table with their fast food breakfast sandwiches that it occurred to Danny that Aaron might think he'd had sex with someone in Mexico. Another time, Danny might have consulted Justin in a situation like this but instead, today he chose to act on his assumption. It was a bad decision.

Danny broke the silence with, "In case you're worried, I didn't fuck anyone or even think about fucking anyone while we were apart."

Aaron looked shocked.

Thinking now that he had chosen the wrong words, Danny tried to explain. "I mean, I didn't even talk to anyone. I wouldn't since we're together."

***

That day in April, his boyfriend had actually said " _since_ we're together" but Aaron interpreted that to mean, " _while_ we're together." And it made him feel sadder and even more insecure. He did not share his worry with anyone.

The lovers spent hours in each other's company every day and Danny called and texted when they were apart but he knew he had said and done the wrong thing.

For his part, Aaron grew steadily more pessimistic about his ability to be what he thought Danny wanted. They had been together six weeks and Danny had still not told Aaron he loved him, although most of the time, Aaron was confident he did. He had never heard it and he blamed himself. He assumed Danny had a good reason for holding back. _You can love someone and still not think they are right for you._

They never argued or were angry but the change bothered both of them. Danny never seemed to ask the right question, or, if he did, Aaron couldn't answer honestly. Aaron never attempted to tell Danny. He was too afraid of what Danny's response might be.

***

"I'm fine," Aaron told Michelle in her room during one of those days. "I survived him being gone ten days, right?"

She didn't think so. "You've been down for weeks, Aaron," she said.

"I know but it's ok now. You notice because you know me so well. The best thing is just to ignore it. You know, _fake it until you make it._ "

"Why don't you talk to Danny about how you're feeling?"

He shook his head sadly. "Who wants to hang out with someone who is unhappy? No, I'll just show him my best side."

"Telling the truth is not an option?"

Aaron looked into her eyes. She saw the pain.

"It would make it worse... if Danny ever found out how scared I am of losing him."

"Aaron, I care about you. Promise me you won't...well, promise you'll call me if it ever gets too bad. I'll come to you wherever you are."

"It's not that bad, Michelle," he said with a weak smile. "I really don't know how Danny feels or how long he'll want to stay with me, but, you know, it will either get better or...I'll get over it."

***

Aaron seemed to be sliding ever lower, and it troubled Danny. He tried to tell himself it was a stressful time in both their lives with Aaron about to leave high school and Danny still getting used to the new job and the workload and the continuing education requirements, but he never believed that was the main cause of Aaron's mood. Danny was making an effort to change, to show Aaron how fond of him he was and to be the lover he thought Aaron wanted, but Danny would admit once he got immersed in the sexual experience, he didn't think too clearly. For the most part, he just hoped to ride it out.

In the meantime, their day-to-day lives went on as before. The frequency of sex never lessened. They still spent every possible moment together. Danny had a challenging workload and Aaron had school. Aaron's running coach was increasing the duration of their training sessions to prepare him for the sport at the college level in which the time demands would approach that of a part-time job. Aaron also had the burden of constantly needing to mislead his grandparents and mother about what he was doing and of deciding if and when he would come out to them.

# CHAPTER 24

When he walked the short distance from Grandad's house to hers, Michelle surprised Aaron by meeting him outside on the porch.

"I outed you to my parents," she confessed.

"Oh. You said you would wait until I was ready."

"I know but, really, they guessed it. They want to talk to you."

Aaron sighed. "You know, I don't really feel like it."

She shook her head. There wasn't a choice.

Michelle brought him inside holding his hand. She walked him into the living room and had him sit opposite her parents. He felt tired and embarrassed.

"It's ok, Daddy. Aaron doesn't mind."

All Mr. and Mrs. Durand wanted to tell him was that they thought he was a good, decent person, that it didn't change anything with them and that they were thankful he was such a good friend to their daughter. They would always be there for him if he needed to talk about anything.

He was embarrassed to be the center of attention but he was also grateful. These people, Aaron realized at that moment, had been a kind presence in his life. They had watched him grow up. Michelle's mother had been Team Mom during his single, infamous season in soccer. She knew his humiliation and had comforted him. He remembered her dad welcoming him on a family trip to a cabin in the mountains when Aaron had been the friend his daughter had been allowed to invite. Each summer, after he and Michelle had spent a day swimming, her parents had insisted Aaron stay for dinner or go out with them. They had cheered him when his running career took off. He realized that he had spent so much energy being miserable that until he returned from his stay with the Torres family, he had failed to notice so many people in his life who had been nice to him.

The Durands' reaction encouraged him about his prospects. He had heard a lot more positive stories than negative ones from people about coming out to their parents. These days it seemed that more parents understood that their kids don't have a choice and there was nothing wrong with them, Aaron believed. Of course, _his_ experience might differ, especially considering he would be coming out to Grandad.

The pep talk from his best friend's parents also served to remind him that focusing on what was wrong with his relationship with Danny wasn't doing him any good. He told himself he needed to accept the way things were between them, prepare himself for the inevitable and get on with his life.

***

Aaron and Michelle's lives progressed toward their major milestone, high school graduation. By his standards, Aaron was struggling in school. His grades dropped from A's to A minuses. Work and a love life meant he didn't have as much time for studying as he used to. It didn't seem to matter to him or anyone else. He had already been accepted at Sacramento State.

Aaron's plans for coming out were tangled with his fluctuating moods about his relationship. In his heart, he believed he needed to do it soon, at least before college started at the end of August because he was sure he couldn't hide that he was very definitely in love from his family. He had to wonder, if he got kicked out of the house, where would he go? It was a real possibility. He'd read about it many times and Justin had a friend who had been a homeless teen because his family couldn't handle it. Aaron was eighteen. No one had any responsibility to take care of him. He was determined not to make Danny feel pressured into letting him move in with him. He pondered the subject over the course of weeks and shared his thoughts only with Michelle.

***

During one of his study sessions in Michelle's bedroom, she managed to shock him and distract him from his problems. Their usual positions were reversed. Aaron was lying on the bed, using the pillow headrest. Michelle sat at her desk chair and stared at him.

"Ramiro sent me a sex video!" she announced.

Aaron sighed. "Oh, Michelle, I'm really sorry. I didn't know he would do anything like that."

"No, it's ok. It was my idea."

Aaron's chin dropped. He shook his head in disbelief.

His response made her laugh. "I knew you would react like that, but it's not that bad, Aaron. We've been Skyping and talking on FaceTime pretty regularly. We both agreed to see other people for now but it's kind of like we're dating. The trouble is, there's none of the fun of dating. You, of all people, know what I'm talking about." She looked at him sharply. "We never get to kiss and see each other naked."

Michelle chatted happily. Aaron remained solemn.

"Are you going to send him anything?" Aaron asked.

"I already e-mailed some bathing suit pictures, but that's it. And then I asked him to send me a nude video."

"And he really did?"

"Yes. Does it surprise you?"

"Not now that I think about it."

"I want to show it to you."

He shook his head forcefully. "Why?"

"For authentication. What he sent was just from the neck down. His face is in the beginning and end of the video, but the middle just has a really hot body with a big hard-on. I want to know if it's really him or did he just find something and edit it."

That made perfect sense to Aaron. "Ok. Let me see."

She tugged his hand to bring him off the bed to her side at the desk. She opened her laptop and clicked on the video. Aaron saw just what she described. Ramiro's handsome face, a beautiful body that could easily belong to him and then his face and some cheery romantic talk at the end of the video.

"That's him."

"Wow. That didn't take long. Are you sure?"

For the first time tonight, Aaron smiled. He gave her a look that conveyed, _are you kidding?_

"But how do you _know_?"

Aaron's voice rose and he spoke with animation. "Well...Ramiro was very proud of his body. He wasn't inhibited. I tried not to stare but I still managed to memorize every square centimeter of that area. Those are his pubes. The balls are shaped like his. His cock has that slight curve when it's hard..."

"When did you see it hard?"

"Most mornings. We got pretty comfortable sharing his room." Aaron was giggling now. "Oh, damn Michelle it was torture but I did enjoy it. Oh, there was one last thing I recognized."

"I know. It's his foreskin, right?"

"Yes. That's Ramiro's, definitely." They hugged each other laughing.

Michelle told Aaron she was glad Ramiro hadn't tried to fake anything. She kidded him that she would no longer need to watch a certain You-tube video of him with his shirtless teammates.

"The one from the park at Fair Oaks?"

"Yes. You are so cute in it."

"That's a year old. I've grown a lot since then."

"Did you want to make a new one for me?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh, right. You don't need me anymore." Trying to sound casual, he asked, "Did Ramiro send any other videos?"

"Yes..." she said, drawing out the word. "It only shows your face for a second. Well, and then again in the middle."

She was teasing but that didn't mean it wasn't true. He was no longer smiling and laughing.

"Fuck! It is true. He sent you..."

"Yep. The video of your wet dream from your last morning in Costa Rica."

"He swore he would delete it."

"That doesn't count, Aaron," she said grinning. "You knew he was lying when he said it."

She played it for him. She laughed when it got to her favorite part. Aaron's hips rocked under the sheets and then the camera moved closer to show the spreading wet spot from the high point where Aaron was sticking up underneath. Ramiro panned up to his face then, showing his eyes closed and his expression of ecstasy. Aaron's moans and Ramiro's snickering provided the soundtrack.

"Boys are so hilarious," she teased.

"Yeah, you're right," Aaron agreed. He was laughing again. "Ramiro asked if I was dreaming about you."

"Oh my god!"

"I know," Aaron answered with a suppressed squeal. "I was dreaming about him! In the dream, it was his come all over my stomach."

"You are so funny. Did it smell like chlorine?"

He rolled his eyes. "What is it with you and chlorine? But, yeah, it did. That's why Ramiro had to keep his mom out of our room that morning. We opened the window and aired it out."

He sighed and dropped his head to his chest.

"No, it's good, Aaron!" Michelle cajoled. "You really lifted that sheet up. I've seen you in a wet bathing suit before so I wasn't surprised and I knew he didn't fake it. It was really hot."

"Thanks."

"Oh, by the way," Michelle said, "I outed you to Ramiro. He almost didn't believe me. 'What a waste,' he said, 'but, you know, I love him and whatever makes him happy.' Then he laughed and said, 'Oh fuck. I must have made him miserable every night talking about sex and waving my dick in his face.'"

Aaron nodded and smiled.

***

His time with Michelle and keeping busy with work and school diverted Aaron from thinking about his relationship with Danny. Nothing had changed. Aaron thought he was doing a good job hiding how depressed he was and his pessimism about their future. Danny stopped asking if anything was bothering him. Michelle was busy and excited with life but she checked his mood regularly. He thought she didn't realize he was as low as he had been when she worried about him during their sophomore and junior years.

Whenever he saw Leticia, she clearly saw through his front. She would attempt to get him to talk about it and, failing that, assured him that whatever had him down would pass. She hugged him each time they met and again when they parted. It always made him feel a little better.

He had thought all the self-advice was helping and his mood would soon pass but one day the joy left his running. It was the lowest he had felt since the seventh grade. He couldn't explain it clearly even to himself. Danny had been quiet the day before and Aaron assumed it was his fault. Midway through an 8K run, his pessimism surged to a new level. He pushed himself harder and thought he was moving beyond these thoughts and was surprised when Coach Nilsen read him his time. She suggested a day off to recuperate.

# CHAPTER 25

Danny stripped off his shirt and undid his belt buckle. He unbuttoned his pants and had his fingers on the zipper when he realized Aaron was watching him with a peculiar, determined expression. It was kind of a cute look too and it elicited a smile from Danny. _What is going on in that adorable head of yours, Aaron Larkin?_

It was Friday evening and they had opted for a quick, light snack before moving directly to the bedroom. They stood in the alcove in front of the vanity and mirror. Aaron faced Danny but did not move. He was watching Danny undress.

_Ok, buddy, I'll give you a show, if that's what you want,_ Danny thought. He leaned against the door jamb of the bathroom and removed his socks. He unzipped his slacks and pulled them off one leg at a time. He stood for a moment in only his blue boxer briefs. He turned away from Aaron to fold his slacks and place them on the counter and then turned back to face him again. Aaron's gaze dropped to Danny's crotch. Danny then hooked both thumbs under his waistband and pushed his underwear down to his knees. He let them fall to the floor and stepped out of them. He leaned back against the wall and gave him a playful smile.

Your turn now, my friend.

Aaron kicked off his Adidas and used his big toes to slide his socks off. He pulled his tee shirt over his head and removed his shorts and underwear in one motion. Danny enjoyed the sight of his naked boyfriend. Aaron was tall and both slender and muscular and even after all they had shared since March 17th it still gave Danny a thrill to move his eyes from Aaron's long, shapely feet to his slim hips and to his beautiful face and long dark wavy hair.

Danny stood up straight and opened his arms. Aaron stepped into his embrace. Their genitals were actually the first point of contact and it gave Danny a sudden rush of sexual pleasure just before the surge of desire that accompanied the pressing of Aaron's chest and abs into Danny's and the satisfaction he felt when Aaron's arms enfolded him.

Aaron's lips fixed onto Danny's and the teen emitted a weak moan as his mouth opened and Danny slid his tongue in to touch his teeth and tongue.

After a minute of kissing, Aaron lowered his head and pressed his nose between Danny's pecs. With his fingers grasping Danny from each side and extending into his armpits, he circled Danny's nipple with his tongue and then clamped onto it with his lips while using his tongue to massage the erect part in the center.

Danny watched Aaron's face. He seemed very intent. He blinked his long lashes and the worry and slight irritation Danny felt because of Aaron's recent moodiness melted away. Danny sighed with satisfaction. Aaron moved his face to the center of Danny's chest and nuzzled his chest hairs and then he shifted to the right nipple, always the more sensitive side for Danny. Aaron repeated the sequence until he drew an even stronger response.

Danny had closed his eyes. Aaron's mouth left his chest and the next sensation was Aaron's lips on his cock. He used his tongue and lips to gently slide the foreskin down. Then he pushed the top of his head into Danny's lower stomach as he accepted Danny's entire length into his throat. Aaron breathed loudly through his nose. Danny felt Aaron's hot breath against his pubic area as Aaron moved up and down the shaft.

Every two or three cycles Aaron paused and Danny felt the familiar touch of his mouth and lips fondling Danny's foreskin. It focused Danny's attention so much that it was a pleasant surprise when he felt the touch of Aaron's hands on his thighs and glutes.

"Oh, fuck," Danny whispered. He looked at Aaron's endearing face. His eyes were closed. They were watering slightly. Considering the activity they were engaged in, Aaron seemed almost too solemn but he conveyed his enjoyment through 'umm's' and sighs.

_He's acting different tonight_. Aaron was so serious and absorbed but, Danny noted, very excited. Danny found himself getting into synch with Aaron's demeanor. Aaron seemed to be lingering over everything like he was trying to savor it. He made Danny draw intense pleasure from each stroke and touch, a pleasure that seemed to vibrate and echo through his body.

Aaron's lips released their hold on Danny's cock and he drew his tongue up the length as he stood. Danny enjoyed the view his extra two inches of height gave him. Aaron smiled at him and nudged him to turn and walk to the bed. After a few steps, Aaron moved in front of Danny and lay on his back in the center. He placed a pillow under his ass to raise it.

Danny usually sent these signals and performed that preparation and so it was an interesting change to their routine. Danny never managed to think too deeply during sex but tonight his brain came up with a few coherent thoughts after Aaron moved to the bed. _Maybe I've been wrong about how much he likes what we do together or maybe it has fixed itself. Whatever, this is great._ Danny climbed in with Aaron, positioning himself between his legs. He returned Aaron's smile.

Aaron spoke for the first time since they started. _"Quiero que me cojes el culo, Danny."_

_Uh...wow!_ Danny stuttered in his own mind. Aaron had never before initiated this act with a request in Spanish. His tone was one of begging and it was thrilling.

Danny reached into the drawer for the lube. Aaron took it from him. He pumped some into himself and applied another generous amount to Danny's cock.

Danny pushed into Aaron's glutes but held back from penetration while he studied Aaron's face. His expression was still a mixture of excitement, pleasure and a little sadness. Missing was the blushing and the fearful look Aaron usually gave Danny at this point in their lovemaking.

Danny began. His partner continued to surprise him. Aaron didn't show any indication of pain or discomfort tonight. In fact, his body gripped Danny much tighter than usual and the penetration and the subsequent thrusting involved much more resistance than Danny had encountered since their first time. It was certainly a change from what Danny was used to. It confused him. It felt good but if it weren't for the extra lubrication it would have been nearly impossible to go on. Aaron was almost fighting him.

As they proceeded, there was an intensity but no urgency in the way Aaron bore Danny's movements in and out of him. Always before, Danny kept this part of their activity relatively short to avoid stressing this sensitive part of his lover's body but tonight Danny sensed that Aaron wanted it to last.

" _Da me lo. Da me lo fuerte, hombre,_ " Aaron implored with a grimace.

"Fuck!" Danny's Spanish failed him at the moment but he communicated his glee with that one word.

Danny thought again that Aaron might really be getting into Danny's favorite sex act and had become attuned to what Danny liked. The rhythmic movement between them went on and on. Danny realized that Aaron was concentrating on every shove of his hips and touch of his arms and mouth. That magnified the pleasure Danny felt. He was overjoyed by Aaron's response tonight.

_He's enjoying everything 'like there's no tomorrow,'_ Danny thought, his mind selecting a phrase his parents often used. It really fit what was going at this moment. Aaron was doing everything as if he wanted to experience it so strongly that the memory would last forever.

In the midst of the passionate intercourse, Danny had a deeper, shocking realization. _Oh my god, that's it! He thinks this could be our last time!_

Danny shook his head in disbelief. _Fuck, Aaron. How can you be so insecure, to think I would break up with you? It's not going to happen, buddy._

He thrust into him harder and stroked his cheek. Aaron opened his eyes. Danny smiled into the beautiful blue-green irises. _I'll show you, Aaron. I'm not letting you give up on me._

Danny's balls rose almost into his body and his cock began to pulsate at its acute angle inside Aaron but, strangely, Danny knew he was not about to come. He continued thrusting with the firm conviction that Aaron felt the same. _He's as excited as he can be but he's ready to have it last forever._

Another thought crossed Danny's mind then and he was just as sure of it as he had been of the previous one it overrode **.** _Aaron has been so sad because he wants to break up with me. It would be just like him to feel so bad about us not working out as a couple that he would go into a major depression at the thought of hurting me._

All this was going on while Danny was in the rapture of a tremendous erotic experience. He started to feel the rising excitement and every thought vanished from his mind.

" _Da me tu leche, cabron,"_ Aaron begged. "Please, give it to me Danny."

Aaron's voice sent a current of pleasure to Danny's groin. The release was incredible. The semen pumped out of Danny and flowed deep into his partner. What followed was a surge of fondness and sympathy for Aaron as Danny looked at his flushed face and moist eyes.

"Here you are, Aaron. Every drop."

He had never imagined saying that to a partner before but it seemed to be what Aaron would want. Aaron gave him a look of gratitude. Danny discarded every negative thought and enjoyed a rush of exhilaration. He felt victorious. _The boy really is enjoying himself._

He felt Aaron clasp his penis with his glutes. Danny pushed his knees into Aaron's ass and leaned forward so that he was as deep into Aaron as possible. Experiencing the strongest affection he had ever felt for anyone, Danny stroked Aaron to a powerful orgasm. Aaron moaned loudly.

Neither moved for many seconds and then Danny slid his chest against Aaron's wet belly and moved up to face Aaron and give him a tender kiss. He kissed him a second and third time and then placed his cheek against Aaron's.

Danny felt content and very satisfied but then his feeling of affection for Aaron was crowded out by another emotion. Danny saw the strange expression on Aaron's face and he panicked. He had seen the familiar dreamy look Aaron always gave him in response to his semen being inside him and had noted the familiar sad look from the last few weeks. It was something else that was new and different that caused Danny's distress. In Aaron's face he saw a resigned look of someone who had accepted a huge disappointment. Danny wasn't accustomed to reading this much from another person's reactions but tonight his intuition told him: _He was doing all this for me. He really is planning to break up with me._

# CHAPTER 26

Two days later, Danny was at his parents' house at the table in their large kitchen. It was the Sunday two weeks before Mother's Day. Danny, his sisters Emily and Amy, his gay uncles, and his parents were a small part of the group that would gather in this place for the May holiday. Everyone but Leticia and her youngest son had left the table. Uncle Brian and the young women were cleaning up. Enrique was nearby on the couch helping his self-employed artist brother-in-law decipher a letter from the IRS.

Danny was tormented about his problems with Aaron and, today, of all times, his mother decided to interrogate him about Aaron and where their relationship was heading. As family gatherings at Ma's house went, this was fairly typical.

"Danny, when you have a gay child, you change some of your expectations for them. Of course, you realize you can't run your kids' lives, whether gay or straight. But with your gay child, you've had all these plans for so many years that now have to be modified. One thing that doesn't change is that you want your child to find a person to love and build a life with."

"I know Ma." Danny realized he looked like he was being chastised. Behind their mother's back, his sister Emily gave him a look of sympathy.

"It's not that we want to tell you Aaron is the one for you," Leticia continued. "Yes, we love him, he's a wonderful person but what matters is what is true for you. So I want to ask. Is this going anywhere?"

"Ma it's only been six months."

"I know but Aaron seemed sad last time I saw him and I was wondering if everything is ok. Neither of you wants to stay together if you're not right for each other."

He smiled. "Even if the sex is really great?"

She slapped his hand playfully. "Daniel, you rascal. Don't try to shock your mother. I know a lot more about the subject than you do." Then she smiled. "Is it really great?"

"Leticia..." Danny's father called from across the room.

"I'm just teasing my smart aleck son. Don't dodge the question, Daniel."

"I don't know," he said looking at her with a grimace. "I'm kind of worried. He doesn't seem happy. Well, he does and then he seems depressed too. It's like something isn't right."

From the living room, Ernesto asked, "Danny, do you think the prospect of coming out to his family is placing pressure on him?"

"Yes, Tío, but something else is the problem. I think it's us. He really seems troubled and I think it's something I just can't get right. Oh, Ma, I don't really know what I'm doing. You and Pop and Uncle Ernesto and Brian and everybody else...you all make this look easier than it is for me." He rested his chin in his hands.

"What is it that you don't understand, Danny?" Leticia asked.

"I really can't talk about it, Ma." Danny sighed and tilted his head left and right. He felt helpless.

Brian had moved behind Danny. He placed his left hand on Danny's shoulder. Leticia took Brian's right hand in hers. She patted it, showing that she welcomed his involvement in the family discussion.

"You've seemed troubled yourself, Danny," Brian said. "For a few weeks, maybe more."

"Yeah, I guess I am. It's been really intense since we started. Sometimes, I feel like I'm half awake. I'm happy but I'm feeling insecure, maybe. I'm worried about what may be bothering him."

"What kind of future do you want for your relationship with Aaron?"

"I don't know. It's too early. I worry that he's so attached to me that it's not good for either of us. But I know I don't want to break up." Danny realized his voice conveyed his emotion. He must sound like a teenager, he thought.

"Danny, when you told your mother it's only been six months..."

Danny looked surprised. "Oh, right. I guess I was counting from the first time we met. It's only been two months."

"I think that shows this relationship means more to you than you've admitted."

He stared at the table. "It does."

"Maybe Brian could talk to him," Danny's mother offered. "Or both of you. Could you have them in for counseling, Brian?"

"Counselors don't work with family members, Leticia. I have another idea. Danny, there's a team in the Human Sexuality Department in the School of Psychology doing some interesting research in same-sex relationships. I mention it because they're looking for young gay couples to interview about the impact of the Supreme Court marriage decision. They are also doing a comprehensive survey on sexual practices. But, in addition to that, they are both skilled relationship counselors. You would have a chance to talk with them and get help working on any issues you have."

Danny's mood changed instantly. "Thanks, Tío. I'll ask Aaron tomorrow."

He looked at his parents and uncles. They all seemed surprised that he had agreed to ask for help. However, since Danny secretly believed his and Aaron's problem was whether they could truly become sexually compatible, he was particularly interested in the fact these were human sexuality experts. Danny didn't wait for the next day.

***

Aaron had no idea of the grilling Danny had just been put through by his family. He felt the vibration in his pocket during Sunday dinner and read Danny's text as soon as he could check his messages. It was four o'clock when he felt secure enough in his privacy to call Danny back.

Danny explained his uncle's suggestion that they talk to the professors at the university. It would be for research and, here Danny quoted Uncle Brian, "They are skilled relationship counselors and it would be a chance to talk with them and get help working on any issues we may have."

Aaron agreed without hesitation. He was surprised that Danny would mention _issues_ but he thought he knew what he meant. To Aaron it was a wonderful, positive signal from his lover. It told him Danny valued their relationship enough to want to improve it. It was almost as good as saying _I love you_.

# CHAPTER 27

Four days after Danny called with the plan to talk to the counselors, Aaron took two hours off work and drove to the university that had already accepted him for the coming academic year. He followed the campus map to Amador Hall and then checked the directory for the Psychology Department. He introduced himself to a young woman at a desk. She handed him a laptop and told him to complete his questionnaire at a small table in the corner of Dr. Angela Card's office.

Uncle Brian had warned Danny and Aaron that the questions would seek detailed information about their sexual histories and relationships and very specific answers about their sexual practices. A quick look at the first three web pages confirmed that Brian hadn't exaggerated. Aaron didn't mind. For all the secrecy and lies he lived with at home and at school, he was willing to share every intimate detail with doctors who were trying to understand and help him and people like him.

Some of the questions amused Aaron. Did he and his partner ever tie each other up? A similar question addressed blindfolding. Then the survey asked: _Do you think most people would ask their partner before forcing them into a position such as doggy-style?_

Aaron's knowledge of the first two came from TV comedies and movies. With the third question, he had some first-hand experience. Danny had asked him the first time and other times but sometimes they relied on non-verbal cues. It was interesting to imagine how he and his partner fit in with the thousands of young gay people around the country who were taking this survey. Later another question prompted him to wonder how Danny would react if Aaron came to bed with handcuffs. Danny would like it, he was sure, but he was just as sure the handcuffs would end up on him instead of Danny.

This time with the questionnaire also was the first occasion Aaron had ever communicated about Danny's sexual talk and his own obsession with Danny's semen. He had never told anyone about either of those aspects of their sex lives and occasionally speculated how astounded Michelle and Justin, for example, would be if he ever told them. Initially, Aaron had expected his answers on this part of the survey would make Danny and him sound a little odd but based on the other questions, he supposed other guys were doing a lot of weird stuff too. His other reaction was one of pride in recording the frequency of their sexual encounters and the variety of positions and acts that he could report they had engaged in.

He was making progress-he estimated he had about ten minutes left to complete the whole thing-when a tall, outgoing African-American woman in her mid-forties came in and introduced herself.

"Good afternoon, Aaron," she whispered as if she didn't want to disturb him. "I'm Dr. Card. My colleague Dr. Davis will join us later. We'll both be interviewing you today. Please, go ahead and finish. Take your time. I'll be at my desk. Let me know when you're done and I'll call my partner."

***

The psychologists were very friendly people, Aaron concluded, after they introduced themselves. They were a mixed-race married couple. They conducted the courses on human sexuality at the university and community colleges in the area, they did research and they counseled couples and individuals.

"Relax. Get comfortable," Dr. Davis told Aaron in a fatherly manner after he finished the survey. He had blonde hair with white at the temples and with his tanned face he fit Aaron's stereotype of a professional sports announcer more than a psychologist. Dr. Davis explained that the personal interviews were part of a series of case studies they were preparing. The psychologist asked for complete honesty and for him to use common language if he was comfortable. "There's no need to sound clinical or academic, Aaron. Please call Dr. Card 'Angela', call me 'Tom' and you can call a cock a cock."

"Ok."

"How does it feel to be a case study," Tom asked with a smile.

"My best friend calls me a head case, so I'm ready."

"Let me just verify..." Tom began. "You are eighteen, is that correct?"

"Yes." Aaron watched him make a note. He assumed that Tom thought he looked younger.

They asked for it and with the exception of the encounter he and Danny had before Aaron's birthday, Aaron shared everything. _If they think I'm so young, maybe this will change their minds,_ he thought with a silent chuckle _._ He enjoyed describing their first weekend together. He knew they could tell it had been wonderful. He was proud to disclose that from the start he was a natural at oral sex. They recorded his description of the pain he initially felt when Danny penetrated him and the pleasure it led to. They soon knew that this couple had sex every chance they got, that they enjoyed kissing, oral sex and anal sex in multiple positions and that Aaron rated his satisfaction level as a perfect ten.

"If you had to guess your partner's satisfaction level, what number would you give it?" Angela asked.

Aaron hesitated, and then confided his secret fear. "I don't know. At first I think it was pretty high. But now I think it might be a six or seven. I'm not sure I'm doing everything he wants me to and I'm afraid he might be getting tired of me not being able to do things. "

"There are sexual acts that he would like to engage in that you've said no to?"

"Well, maybe. It's just that I'm not versatile. I'm worried that Danny is getting tired or bored with me."

"What makes you say you're not versatile?" Tom asked.

"I don't do everything he does. I could never fuck anyone. I'm really passive and I always make Danny take charge."

"So, you're a bottom, Aaron," Angela observed.

"Yeah, I guess."

"What makes you think Danny's not happy with that?"

"Danny's really nice and gentle and he is always taking care of me. He's always sort of verbal, too, usually in Spanish, and that's fun. Then, some other times when we're having sex he seems angry—maybe not angry but disrespectful and he treats me like his property. He calls me 'bitch' or 'whore' and he pins my shoulders down or pulls my hair, fucks me really hard and then slaps my ass."

"Does that bother you," Tom asked.

"Well, I want him to be happy with me."

"During these times when Danny treats you that way, how do you respond erotically?"

"Well, I'm always hard anyway," Aaron said before lowering his voice for a confession. "It's kind of messed up." He shook his head. "My face gets red and it's like I can only see and hear and feel his body and his voice. He slams into me really fast and hard and I feel it deep inside. I'm embarrassed when it's over and I try to hide it from Danny...how I _enjoyed_ it. Danny's always super nice to me afterwards, like he's trying to make up for what he said."

"Does Danny give you any other reason to think he's not completely happy with your relationship?" Tom asked.

"He just seems like he's worried lately. And..." for the first time in the interview, Aaron hesitated.

"What is it?" Angela asked.

"He's never told me he loves me."

***

Once the decision was made to be interviewed by Brian's colleagues, Aaron and Danny didn't discuss the real purposes they each had in wanting to talk to counselors. It still seemed unreasonable to Danny that two people their ages, with just a few months of dating, should be headed to marriage counselors. He was doing it for Aaron but he didn't want to tell him. Aaron was anxious, even desperate, for help in being a better partner to Danny but of course he tried to hide that. Instead, Aaron thanked Danny for agreeing to Brian's suggestion and they didn't mention it again until Aaron came home from his interview and then, they only talked about the survey questions.

***

When Drs. Card and Davis met Danny the next day, they agreed that Aaron and Danny had two things in common. They both looked younger than their true ages—Danny could almost pass for a college freshman and Aaron could easily look like a tall high school sophomore—and they were both adorable. Beyond that and the hair color, the two differed considerably. Danny had a darker complexion, was two inches taller, had broader shoulders and more upper body muscles and of course the biggest difference was that he was six and a half years older. That seemed to have some influence on their relationship but not as much as they had expected. Education was a big difference as well but both were good students and intelligent. While Danny had been out to himself and others longer and had more sexual experience, he had limited experience with dating relationships with his longest one lasting only six weeks.

Dr. Card delved into their sex lives almost immediately with the request that he rate his satisfaction level and then Aaron's. She and Dr. Davis exchanged a knowing glance when Danny rated his own appreciation at the maximum and expressed concern that Aaron might have placed his own at a five or six.

"I made a mistake from the start by pushing him faster than he was ready. I didn't plan to-or maybe I did. I had him doing oral and anal sex the first night and then going strong all weekend. He seemed to really enjoy himself but sometimes he looked a little scared and other times like he'd run a marathon."

Tom nodded thoughtfully. "Why do you think you went farther than you intended?"

Danny smiled guiltily. "Just look at him."

Tom returned his smile.

Danny continued, "Well, maybe the real reason was we'd known each other a long time by then and I was really getting to like him. You know we were waiting for his eighteenth birthday to start dating but by then, it was building up...the attraction and desire and everything."

"Still on the subject of sex, Danny," Angela asked, "how would you describe things since?"

"It's fantastic, really, for me. We spend a lot of time together and the attraction has grown for both of us. We really like each other and enjoy being together and the sex has gone the same way, mostly."

"But you are concerned that Aaron isn't enjoying it as much as you."

"Probably not. Maybe it's just because we're two different people and maybe he's not ever going to get as much out of it as me. But there is something...well I try some things with him that make him uncomfortable. Maybe they aren't right for him."

At this point, the psychologists no longer needed to prompt Danny. He spoke freely with the relief of a person getting something off his chest and hoping for help. "I'm afraid Aaron is put off or scared because I'm really kind of domineering in sex. It's like I have to be in control all the time. I decide which of us is going to go down on the other and I almost always tell him what positions we'll try. I know I'm not versatile. I love to fuck but I would never let anyone fuck me, even Aaron. Otherwise, usually, I'm ok. I'm gentle and respectful and I show my partner I care about him. It's just that other times, I have these feelings that aren't really what I believe, it's just I feel them during sex."

They knew not to interrupt him. Danny showed that he intended to explain, that he wanted them to understand.

"So during sex, right at the start at these times, I'll have this attitude that I'm a real man because I'm the top and that Aaron...well, that he's my bitch. It makes me really excited to feel like I'm dominating him. I get carried away with the sex talk, like calling him a whore and telling him to take it up the ass. I work myself up and it does get me excited. I guess this sounds funny..."

"No, we understand," Dr. Card said.

Danny gave her a doubtful but appreciative smile. "I've never talked about this with anyone. So then, as soon as it's over, I feel embarrassed and I know Aaron does too because he turns red whenever I say something in the excitement about him being my bottom boy. It's all kind of twisted." He was grinning sheepishly now. "I'd blame my culture or my dad but it's not really like that. My dad and my older brothers are respectful of women. They're macho but would never act like I do. Afterwards, with Aaron, I go overboard showing him I respect him and letting him make the decisions for both of us. Outside of the bedroom, and work of course, Aaron is really the boss in our relationship. Aaron figures out when we can see each other and what we'll do, except in bed. He has started helping me keep my life together...well, telling me to do this or that. I guess I like that too." Danny rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

Dr. Davis gave him a sympathetic nod. "Danny, outside of sex, would you tell us about your relationship with Aaron?"

Danny flashed his already familiar dazzling smile. "Yes. We like each other a lot. Our personalities seem to match. He fits in really well with my friends and family. My college friends and our coworkers and our running club friends are mostly kind of crazy and they always try to make him laugh. They used to treat me that way but now they've switched to Aaron; I like that.'

"Lately, though, he's been moody." Danny was no longer smiling. It seemed painful for him to describe Aaron's emotional state. "He's down sometimes and other times trying to act cheerful when you can tell he's feeling bad. He won't tell me why but I'm fairly sure it's the problem I have treating him right during sex. Until this week, I thought he was going to break up with me. His mood really improved as soon as you said you would talk to us."

"Have you two reached the point of saying, 'I love you'?" Dr. Card asked.

"It's too early. He would have said it after the first date and then I know he was ready to say it up until I left for spring break. After that, even if I had thought it was the time, I wouldn't have brought it up until we worked our way through our problem. Until Uncle Brian said you would talk to us, I could have seen me saying 'I love you' and Aaron saying 'I love you, too, but we have to break up.'"

"And, now?" Dr. Card asked.

"I don't know. Assuming you guys can help us, I still think Aaron couldn't handle it if we start talking about love. He'll take it too far too fast. He won't let it stand on its own. He'll wrap himself around me and he'll forget everything else in his life and it will all become 'Danny loves Aaron'. Really. We'll get to it, probably, but it's not right for now."

Dr. Card nodded. Danny had clearly thought this aspect through. "As a young gay man who has grown up in a more accepting world, what thoughts do you have about marriage?"

Danny gave a bewildered look. "Until lately, I never even thought about the idea that I would be married one day."

"Do you think about you and Aaron getting married?" Dr. Davis asked.

"Yeah," Danny replied with a laugh. "He'll probably pick the date, book a chapel and invite everyone and just tell me to show up." He grimaced. "Seriously, it's way too early to talk about that. What's next? Having two kids to make my parents happy? I don't really think so." He paused and then said, "I don't know. Maybe."

# CHAPTER 28

Like every profession, psychologists and sex counselors have their own inside jokes, stories that are more interesting to each other than the general public and the desire to talk _shop_ with colleagues they respect. One Thursday in May, Danny and Aaron provided Drs. Card, Davis and Murphy Avila (Uncle Brian) a reason to meet and collaborate on a case they all found interesting. They assembled in Angela's office, where both Danny and Aaron had been interviewed just days earlier.

The young men had requested that Brian be given access to all information gathered and that he be allowed to provide input to his colleagues. They had signed a release. Because he knew them well, Danny and Aaron thought he could help and they had no reluctance to share the secrets of their sex lives with him. After all, he was with them at the bar on the Friday evening when they began their first weekend together and then the next night at dinner very soon after they'd had sex for the third time in less than twenty-four hours.

"You guys got to the source of the problem pretty quickly," Brian observed with a smile. "Danny's role playing was too convincing and Aaron completely misinterpreted the situation. Your challenge now is to show them they are sexually compatible without spoiling the illusion."

"I don't know if that's possible," Tom said, returning his smile.

"Tell us why you thought these two should see us," Angela requested.

"I knew you would find them interesting. Aaron was so clearly infatuated with Danny. Danny was very attracted as well. The age difference is significant at this stage. They seemed to be progressing as well as any couple I've ever seen and then, according to my nephew, Aaron started struggling with a feeling of pessimism. Aaron denied anything was wrong. Danny told his mother he thought he had done something to upset Aaron. I could tell it was _not_ the kind of thing a young man discusses with his mother and so I thought of you two."

"Well, we're glad you did. They are an excellent case study," Tom said. "Their problem started with a misunderstanding on Aaron's part. Attribute it to inexperience. He took literally what his partner said as part of verbal sex play. He made himself miserable even though he was secretly very much aroused by the experience. He created an explanation for his partner's behavior and blamed himself. He has a predisposition for feeling responsible whenever anything goes wrong. He wouldn't talk about it with Danny because he thought it would make matters worse. Remarkably, while all this was going on, they were engaged in sexual activity of the highest satisfaction level based on the classifications of our survey. Of course, there are other factors we should address. You saw Aaron's test results, didn't you?"

"Yes," Brian said. "Thank you for offering to counsel him."

Angela answered for the couple. "Well, he'll be enrolled as of August anyway. We'll just get a head start."

"Your nephew Danny seems to be in a typical mental state for a guy his age," Tom said. "Happy, hard-working with only a modest fear of commitment. It sounds like your in-laws did a good job parenting."

"They did and they still are," Brian said, smiling. "So you don't think Danny needs any counseling for his..."

"Fetishes, dominance fantasies and stimulation from verbal sex?" Angela finished the question. "No. They just make life more interesting, don't they? Danny doesn't really see himself as a super aggressive male except when he's topping a submissive bottom."

"I'm not sure Aaron would be comfortable being described as a submissive bottom," Brian said.

"He _would_ enjoy hearing Danny call him that, especially in Spanish," Angela said.

The three psychologists couldn't help but laugh.

"He really would," Tom said, making a visible effort to be serious. "It's strange that two people with such an intense, satisfying sex life could convince themselves that they had a problem, but these two knuckleheads did and it's just more proof of how complicated we human beings are."

"Adorable knuckleheads," Angela emphasized. "Now, Brian, you're sure these guys are twenty-four and eighteen? They both look so young."

Brian laughed. "Yes, I'm sure."

"So, Dr. Murphy, any surprises when you read our notes?" Tom asked.

"Not really." Brian told his colleagues about the beginning of Danny's sex life when Brian and his husband were asked to consult with Enrique and Leticia after they caught Danny in the act at age fourteen.

"Apparently, Danny settled down the remainder of his high school years but he was very active as an undergraduate," Tom observed.

Angela recapped what they had all read. "Danny told us that there hadn't been much opportunity in graduate school. College had been different. He was involved on and off with two men and had sexual encounters either once or twice with six others."

"There was no strong emotional attachment in any of those relationships," Tom offered.

"No," Angela agreed. "And then he claimed graduate school didn't leave any time for romance or sex. Except for four separate one-time couplings, he was celibate. As gay men go, that is not a lot of activity."

"When Danny met Aaron, he had not had sex in six months," Brian said. "He hadn't had a second date with anyone in three years. From the discussions among the friends Justin, Matthew and Danny, I believed more was going on."

"Typical guy, right?" Angela asserted with a chuckle.

"There was another matter we thought we'd leave for you to address," Tom said. He tilted his head toward his wife.

"From the start," Angela said, "they were practicing what we all agree is unsafe sex. Obviously, considering Aaron's fetish, they're not going to change at this point. They claim they are in an exclusive relationship, so I suppose we shouldn't worry as long as they stay together."

Brian turned very serious. "Yes. I was surprised that two young people that intelligent and informed would allow themselves to take risks. I plan to have a talk with each of them."

"Good," Angela said.

# CHAPTER 29

Aaron drove them to their joint interview in Danny's SUV. It was quickly apparent that Danny shared his remarkably good spirits. Aaron wasn't clear what exactly would be resolved but he was optimistic that their relationship problems were going to be fixed. Danny didn't say it but it seemed like he thought so too.

They had a longer day ahead of them than usual. One uncle, Brian, set up this meeting with short notice and it would be an inconvenience to another uncle, Dr. Avila. Nora had addressed the problem by rescheduling appointments for an extra two hours after the clinic's usual closing time today. She decided that Aaron would also make up his missed hours by taking care of the people in the waiting room and assisting Danny as required. She and the boss didn't know why the dating couple had to leave in the middle of the afternoon, but they made sure it didn't inconvenience their mostly furry patients and their owners.

"Welcome back, gentlemen," Dr. Tom Davis told them as he led them into his wife's office. "First off, thank you both for your cooperation. Yours is the first generation of young gay men who became adults after the Supreme Court's marriage decision stated that gay people are entitled to the same rights as the heterosexual majority. This has been a time of very rapid social change from when your uncles became adults in the eighties and nineties. We're evaluating the impact on gay people's relationships and their families. You are also interesting to us because you have entered you're sexual lives thirty years into the AIDS epidemic. You have been very helpful for our research."

He paused for their acknowledgement. "We are glad to help, Tom," Danny said.

"Of course, you're not here today for couples counseling," Tom said. "This is more of a debriefing of us by you following your survey responses and our interviews. You've been very helpful by being so forthcoming but we all know that wasn't your main reason for volunteering. Here we will give you the benefit of our years of study and experience in the hopes that it helps you strengthen your relationship and get more out of your mutual experience. We will share with you some observations we formed in talking with you. You've both said you were up for that and are willing to have everything we learned from each of you shared with the other."

Danny nodded. Aaron followed his lead.

Dr. Card had been beaming at the couple. Now she said, "You've known each other for nearly five months and have been dating since Aaron turned eighteen in March. Let's start with the acknowledgement that you both separately told us that you consider your relationship is a serious one."

Aaron smiled at Danny. It was a happy, grateful smile. Danny took his hand.

"So, anyway, guys," Tom said, "let's get to the most interesting item on the agenda. Angela and I know from talking to you individually that you each have some concern about your sexual compatibility. I'm happy to tell you those worries are unfounded."

Aaron glanced at Danny. He felt a mixture of curiosity, embarrassment and optimism. Danny returned his glance and gave him a shy smile. Aaron eagerly anticipated the rest of Tom's statement.

"The questionnaires, the interviews and our observations confirm this."

Angela chuckled. "It's interesting and kind of sweet. Your uncle thinks we should leave it at that rather than spoil the fun of discovering all these things about each other but we realize you'll be able to put two and two together and arrive at the truth. Guys, if you thought anything you said or did during all your sexual activity turned off your partner, you couldn't be farther from the truth. There is no issue of incompatibility here only one of miscommunication."

Neither Angela nor Tom said anything for several seconds, apparently choosing now to let the significance of their words sink in on the young couple.

Aaron saw his boyfriend shift in his chair to look at him. Danny's smile slowly widened and then opened to reveal his white teeth. Keeping his eyes on Aaron, he said, "Oh...I'm beginning to understand what you're trying to tell me, Dr. Davis."

Aaron knew this was good news. It took him a few extra seconds to realize completely what it meant: instead of not being everything Danny wanted from a sexual partner, just the opposite was true. _So all those times..._

"That's right, guys," Angela explained. "Neither of you has ever disappointed the other. You each worried that the other wasn't getting as much out of your sexual encounters as you were when in reality, your partner was delighted with your mutual sexual expression with all its interesting facets."

"If you don't mind a suggestion," Tom began, "in the future try more open discussion and candid communication of your likes and dislikes. You know, when all else fails, try honesty."

Danny laughed, shaking his head.

Aaron understood everything but he had been so worried for so long that he was taking some time to understand emotionally that this problem was resolved or really, never had existed in the first place.

Angela smiled at him. "I feel like Cupid being able to tell you that there is no real problem in your sexual compatibility. Of course, I can't guarantee that 'the course of true love' will always run smooth but you both are good, kind, young adults capable of a loving relationship and Tom and I are optimistic for you. I know there are other issues. We haven't gone into them too deeply. They're just the issues every new couple faces. We can share some observations if you like."

"Yes." Aaron answered for them both for the first time today. "We'd like to hear what you think."

Tom smiled and leaned forward. "The surveys you completed for us are directed toward individual and couples' sexual experience. We haven't attempted to explore compatibility outside of sex and other aspects of your relationship. Obviously, you're at a very early stage. Both agree you are dating each other exclusively. In your case, that means daily contact and shared lives in that each tells the other what they will do on a daily basis.'

"One thing you have in common is that you are both at major turning points in your lives, Danny having just finished his education and beginning his career, Aaron having returned from a remarkable experience in a foreign country and soon to graduate from high school and move on to college. It's obvious that there is a natural disparity at this point because of the age difference. Danny has more life experience. Although, thanks I suppose, to seven fun-filled years of intense education and professional training, maybe your lead isn't as great as it might be in the area of interpersonal relationships. Would you agree, Danny?"

"You're probably right. The last few years I've spent more time with animals than people. Aaron may look young, but he's as grown up as any of the guys I hang out with."

Aaron squeezed Danny's hand. He had been holding it through most of the session.

"It doesn't appear to be a problem. As they get to know each other, every couple must answer the questions together of where their relationship is headed and how fast it should progress. There are typical milestones but no firm rules on when they should be reached. So I'll tell you to proceed at your own pace and share honestly. Most couples have some discordance in this matter but they work through them."

Aaron sighed, smiling. He felt more at ease than he had been in weeks.

"Moving on to our last topic," Angela said, taking charge now, "I'm going to say this is good news involving you, Aaron. As you know, we asked you to complete several additional online surveys. The results show some areas in your life that we can help you with. You took tests that are intended to measure feelings of depression, self-esteem concerns and stress. Your results indicate moderately high symptoms for depression and some issues with the other two."

Suddenly the entire nature of the meeting shifted for Aaron. He told himself not to show a reaction while he tried to understand what her statement meant for him. It didn't sound like good news. His shortcomings were being exposed. Minutes earlier he had been so relieved but now he felt like a small, skinny boy stripped naked and shoved in front of the person whose approval mattered the most to him. He didn't mind if these people discussed every aspect of his sex life. That would be fine. But the idea of talking about his lack of confidence, the sadness that had been so hard to overcome and all the humiliations of a lifetime of being an uncoordinated weakling, that wasn't anything he wanted or could bear. Why did it have to come up now just when he was putting all that behind himself? He stared at Angela without expression, willing his face not to redden.

"We haven't talked about your family situation or the challenge of being a gay teen. It would probably be helpful to explore those areas. Specifically, Aaron, in addition to the depression, your tests are indicative of or at least you have results in common with young people who have suffered prolonged bullying. These are moderate symptoms, so I don't want you to worry unduly, but I would like to see you again. Would you be willing to meet with me on a weekly basis for a while, alone at first and maybe later in a group?"

She said it all so cheerily as if she were recommending he try a new brand of racing shoes.

When Aaron didn't respond, Angela continued, "You know, young people who are bullied usually experience some difficult emotions such as anxiety, shame, anger and feeling that they are alone. It's still very common for gay children to encounter bullying in schools today. Did you have problems like that?"

"Not really," Aaron said hurriedly. "You would hear people call something 'gay', meaning it was bad or stupid. In P.E., I'd always get chosen near the last for a team but nobody was mean about it. I got called 'fag' a few times but so did most of my friends."

"Well, the symptoms are there and it's something I could help you with."

Aaron stared downward at his knees. Trying to sound nonchalant he said, "Ok."

He cast a look at Danny. He gave him an encouraging nod. "Hey, go for it. Why not?"

"Ok," Aaron said now, with more conviction.

***

A few minutes into the long walk to the parking structure, Aaron glanced in Danny's direction. Aaron had let go of all Angela's psychological talk, at least for the moment, and was thinking about what Tom had told them about how well they fit together sexually. _That's what was important about today's meeting, not the depression stuff,_ he thought.

Their eyes met and Danny returned Aaron's embarrassed smile.

"Um...what was that all about?" Danny asked.

Aaron shrugged, smiling widely now.

Danny put his arm around Aaron. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you you're the best."

Aaron said, "I'm sorry I was so stupid. It's great, though, that we're a perfect match in bed."

"And on the couch, on the countertop, on the floor and standing in front of the mirror," Danny added. "Can you tell your grandparents that you have to work tonight?"

Aaron shook his head regretfully. "I do have to work, remember? And afterwards, I have to study for a mid-term."

Ten minutes later, back in the Highlander on the road from the university toward the outskirts of town, Aaron drove while Danny studied a handout with statistics about gay men's sexual roles.

Danny broke the silence. "Hey, buddy...um...tops and bottoms..."

"Yeah?"

"Ok. It says most guys are versatile but 'ten to fifteen percent of gay men report that they are exclusively tops and a like number exclusively bottoms.' So we're not that unusual in having both of us not wanting to vary our roles. It's natural for us."

"Thank god."

"I know, right?" Danny said cheerfully. "St. Valentine sent me the perfect lover. A hot guy who likes to take it up..."

" _Daniel_ **,** " Aaron interrupted, "don't make me tell your mom on you."

Danny chuckled.

A few minutes later, at a stop light, with no introduction, Aaron said to Danny, "You'd think I would remember if I was bullied that badly."

"What? Oh, maybe, but who knows?" Danny responded. "I don't think it's going to be that big of a deal."

"I'll bet no one ever bullied you, did they?"

"Just my sister Amy. She's still doing it." He squeezed Aaron's leg.

# CHAPTER 30

The session with the sex experts lifted a big worry from Aaron. The whole experience left him with the understanding that Danny valued him and shared his expectation that their relationship would move forward. He didn't know completely what was going on with Danny but he knew he definitely wasn't bored with him or disappointed in their sex life. That afternoon as they left the campus and later after work in the clinic parking lot when Danny walked out with him, Danny had been himself but also very romantic and caring.

The psychologists removed one worry but gave him another. In the following days, Aaron considered how this diagnosis of depression and self-esteem issues affected his desirability in Danny's eyes. He staked his hopes on Angela's use of the word "moderate" when she described his symptoms. Ignoring the evidence of his state of mind the previous five weeks, he was determined to downplay the diagnosis and present a cheerful, confident façade.

For his part, Danny had spent a sufficient number of years with Uncle Brian that he would have been surprised if the psychologists hadn't come up with something worth looking into and so his perspective was that it would be good for almost anybody to work on their problems with a counselor. There was no turning back to self-doubt or misconception about Aaron's satisfaction with him and so he was ready to start a new phase in their lives.

***

The Friday after their talk with the counselors, after work, Danny lay on his bed with his eyes closed, listening to the flow of the water through the pipes as Aaron showered. They would go out with friends later. They had plenty of time before dinner. Aaron came out of the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror above the sink. For some reason, he had a towel wrapped around his slim hips covering the sexy butt Danny loved to stare at.

_Pretending to be shy,_ Danny thought. _He's asking for it._

Danny approached from behind. He pulled the towel off. Naked and rapidly becoming erect, Aaron turned and faced him to accept a kiss. Danny made it a passionate one. He pushed against Aaron throwing him off balance, but Danny supported his weight. They exchanged meaningful looks. Danny touched Aaron on the hip. Aaron sank to his knees.

Acting overcome with desire, Aaron opened Danny's pants. _Well, no, he's not acting,_ Danny thought _. This is the real thing._ Aaron pulled down his briefs and pressed his face against Danny's cock and balls. Danny's untethered cock reached its full erect dimensions. Aaron's eyes were closed showing those beautiful dark lashes. His mouth was open and with jerking movements, it found Danny's cock and engulfed it.

Danny grabbed Aaron's head and pulled it up and down over his penis. The very recognizable sounds of oral sex filled the bedroom, complete with their accompanying moans.

When Danny spoke again, it was in Spanish. " _Quieres mi pinga en tu culo, puto?_ "

" _Sí_."

Danny pulled Aaron to his feet. He brought him to the bed and gently shoved him facedown. Without undressing, Danny climbed onto the bed, kneeling above Aaron's naked ass. He pushed his legs apart with his knees and at the same time, grasped Aaron's wrists and spread his arms apart over his head. He pushed his cock between Aaron's glutes. With only a small amount of lubricant from the dispenser he had left on the bed combined with the moistness from the shower, Aaron's saliva and Danny's pre-ejaculate, Danny penetrated him. He kept his mouth by Aaron's right ear and in Spanish, spoke his favorite insults plus a few new ones.

It had started quickly, almost before they each realized that they were playing their fantasy roles. Then their attention was focused on the experience. Aaron blushed when Danny called him a _joto_ (faggot). The order to _chupa mis bolas_ obviously didn't make a lot of sense considering where Danny's balls and Aaron's mouth were at that moment, but Aaron did seem to like the sound of it. Then there were the old favorites like _toma mi leche, maricón_ that had a new, more playful tone after their counseling sessions.

Afterwards, Danny didn't feel the need to make up for anything but he made the gesture anyway, apologizing for his rude language and cuddling Aaron. Aaron had blushed just like before and let himself feel humiliated and suddenly dependent. That part lasted about ten minutes and then they were back to normal but very content and satisfied.

Even after they dressed and were on their way to dinner, Danny still felt the sensation of Aaron's asshole clamping on his cock. He thought of the counselors. _We're probably more compatible than anyone they've ever seen._

***

Friday night's session made Danny feel he had moved into a happier, pain free phase in his personal life but he had another ordeal to face. Two days later, at his parent's house, Uncle Brian very sternly asked him to join him for a private conversation. Danny's sisters suddenly became silent and Danny felt his parents watching him as he followed his uncle down the hall to his old bedroom. Danny sat on the twin bed he had slept in from age twelve to age seventeen. Brian closed the door and sat in the chair by Danny's old student desk.

"Danny, you and Aaron asked me to review and contribute to your counseling session. It's not typical for a therapist to work with a family member but it is fairly common for family members, with the consent of the client, to be told about issues that arise in the treatment. So I'm here as a family member, not a counselor."

Danny felt apprehension but he said, "It's fine, Brian. We want you to be involved. What is it you have to tell me?"

"It's a lecture I've given you a few times since you were fourteen."

"Oh."

"Safe sex, Danny. How could you have sex without a condom?"

"I know. We talked about it but we decided it was safe for us. I knew I was negative and Aaron was a virgin so..."

"I understand your argument. Would _you_ accept that from a loved one who was about to become sexually active? It's not that I think either of you lied or would ever lie about your sexual histories; it's that I know some people will and that's where the risk comes in. The problem is what happens if at some point you two break up? You've made it more likely that Aaron will make poor choices with future sexual partners. And you've actually shown that you could make a poor choice as well."

"I never did before, Brian. Every single time after you gave me the first lecture, I used a condom. It was just that..."

"I agree that in Aaron's case, it was obvious he was a virgin but there could be others in the future who might lie to you about it. That's what worries me. The only safe sex without condoms is in a committed, permanent monogamous relationship where each person knows he can completely trust the other. And that doesn't happen on the first date, nephew."

Danny conceded. "I know. I'm sorry I let you down. You and Tío taught me better."

"Thanks for saying that, cariño."

The term of endearment drew a smile from Danny.

"Well," Brian said, "where we are now is that you've assumed responsibility for Aaron's health. I hope that's an indicator of where this relationship is going. Both of you have to be completely monogamous, right?"

"Definitely."

"I want you both to be tested again and share the results with me. Is that ok?"

"Yes."

"That's great."

"We'll take care of it right away. And then am I off detention?"

"As soon as I see the results." Brian hugged him. "You've been a gift to your uncle and me, you know that Danny?"

"Same here, Tío."

# CHAPTER 31

Danny and Aaron started having carefree fun.

Amidst all the hectic activity of the graduation preparation, they managed to schedule a field trip/getaway the weekend after Mother's Day. Aaron's cousin David covered for him. Coincidentally, the Kennedy High senior ball would take place on Saturday. Michelle had a date so Aaron was not needed. (He had promised three years earlier to be her back up escort.) The excitement built all week as the couple looked forward to forty-eight uninterrupted hours of each other's company and their first overnight stays since that memorable weekend in March.

Friday night, instead of meeting David and his buddies in San Jose, the lovers drove up Highway 50 into the Sierra Nevada Mountains to a cabin in South Lake Tahoe on the California side of the state border. They brought their own groceries and prepared all their meals. They left the cabin only for a hike above the lake and two 5K runs at the local high school course.

During their love-making Friday, Danny had one of those moments of intense enchantment when he looked down into Aaron's eyes just before his own climax. This was the person that mattered the most to him. Aaron sensed what he was feeling, Danny was sure. He smiled back at Danny with a gentle nod.

The next day, Danny asked Aaron if he regretted that they couldn't go to his senior ball and dance together in the gym with the other young couples.

"Not really," Aaron told him. "My whole life I never thought I'd have somebody I'd want to go with. And now...well, being in the closet kind of rules out slow-dancing in front of the whole school. Besides, you're too old."

"What?"

"You couldn't come anyway. They don't allow anyone over twenty."

"Wow."

***

On Saturday afternoon the next week, at a casual moment doing household chores-Aaron was dusting the bookshelf and Danny was sweeping the entryway-Aaron said, "I love you."

Without a second's delay, Danny said, "I love you, Aaron. I love you so much, I...well, I almost can't believe it."

# CHAPTER 32

Between the lovers' Lake Tahoe getaway and their first mutual declaration of love, Aaron had his initial counseling session with Angela. It was painless, really. Still another survey, this one asking for family history. Did any relatives suffer from depression? Had any committed or attempted suicide? He had to admit he didn't know if his father had depression issues. Something must have been going on for a person to abandon his wife and son.

_So I have_ _moderate_ _symptoms of depression_ _, moderate_ _levels of anxiety and stress, and_ _moderate_ _self-esteem issues,_ Aaron thought while Angela was talking. _Moderation in all things, right?_

She introduced him to the therapy technique she planned to use. They would identify his negative way of thinking about situations in his life and would work together to create alternative, positive ways of looking at them and plans to implement those new ways of thinking. Each session they would check on his moods and symptoms, set an agenda for their time together, review his homework assignment from the previous meeting and come up with new homework. At the end she would give him feedback.

He heard more than he wanted that day about mental health and depression, self-esteem and isolation. The words scared him. He didn't know any of that was so obvious and had been hoping to escape those problems by getting on with life; new school, new boyfriend etc. Of course, he didn't tell Angela any of that.

She told him she related well to gay men because she believed they all have an inner, sassy black woman aspect to their personalities that comes out whenever they need it.

Aaron laughed, just as she intended. "Yeah, from all the gay guys I've met through Danny and Justin and some friends of Michelle's, I think you're right. Even Danny and Justin sometimes sound a little like some black girls on TV or ones I know at school."

Angela asked about his current mood. She didn't contradict Aaron when he insisted he didn't have any problem with depression now.

"Things are going so well in my life. You and Tom helped us in that one area and Danny is great."

"I know Aaron. So are you. So, I want you to think back to times in your life when you _were_ feeling low."

He looked down and then nodded his head slowly. He couldn't lie about that because so recently he had been depressed and felt hopeless about his relationship with Danny. "All right, yeah."

He told her about that and confided that his best friend had thought he was depressed for several years in high school.

"When did it start?" she asked.

"I can't remember. It must have been when I was very young. It was all through middle school. I told myself I was being a drama queen."

He laughed. "You know, at that age, I didn't realize the significance for me. Everyone always said teens go through these ups and downs and I believed it. I never realized I was so different from all the other kids in school. I used to get mad and blame myself for feeling that way. Most of the time I managed to ignore it. Running, schoolwork and tests kept my mind off it usually. I never thought about suicide. I mean, the idea people could be so down that they would kill themselves...well I just knew it was something I would never do."

# CHAPTER 33

Beginning in April, even while Aaron was still suffering his fears about his future with Danny, a series of discussions was underway via text, Skype, telephone and in person about Aaron coming out to his family. Michelle, David, Justin and Danny were the original participants but soon the group of consultants grew to include Michelle's parents, Danny's parents, Danny's uncles Brian and Ernesto and later Dr. Card.

Aaron agonized over the choice of a date. No one offered a recommendation. It was a decision he had to make for himself and they couldn't promise a happy outcome. More than once, Aaron wondered aloud if this time he really _was_ being a drama queen with his indecision and his need for the others' advice but David, who knew better than any of them what Aaron would face, shared his concern. Aaron, David said, should definitely wait until after graduation and he should be prepared for any possible outcome.

After Leticia's invitation to her home on Easter Sunday, Aaron had secretly yearned to share Sunday afternoons with the extended Quintana and Avila families at Leticia's huge table in the farmhouse on the hill. Unfortunately, after spending each Sunday morning with Danny and the running club, he did not have an excuse to miss Grandad's Sunday suppers which were at two thirty sharp and usually involved a rotisserie roast that the retired fire captain prepared himself on the barbecue. Aaron settled for going to Leticia and Enrique's at four thirty or five when he would still have time with Danny and Ernesto and Brian before they had to leave for their own homes.

Even that involved more lies to Grandad. Aaron would lie about meeting schoolmates to work on a project or having to check something for his boss at the clinic. Danny guessed that he wasn't telling his grandparents the truth but he wanted Aaron with him those Sunday afternoons so he didn't say anything to his own parents.

It was on one of these Sundays in late May when Danny told Aaron he wanted to go to his graduation. Aaron was delighted and scared but didn't have much time to react. Leticia decided she and Enrique should also attend.

***

On Tuesday, June 6th, Michelle, Aaron and their fellow seniors entered Robert F Kennedy High School for the last time as students. They didn't have much to do until they would leave for the eleven am rehearsal for their ceremony. Michelle greeted Aaron in the cafeteria that morning with the news that their classmates were talking about him.

"It's all in a good way. It's just that they know you're gay."

"Oh." It didn't bother him. He was not the short skinny kid who lived in fear for so many years. In fact, he was glad that he would be able to claim that he lived at least one day in high school out of the closet. He told Michelle.

She squealed and hugged him. "I knew you would say that."

"I wonder how it happened."

"I know," Michelle said. "Raymond told me. Some runners from another school saw you with Danny and Justin at a race and overheard something. They just assumed you were completely out and so it wasn't like they were gossiping. But, wow, Aaron, you really are popular. Everyone is talking about it."

Aaron smiled. "That explains what happened in the hall. Everybody wanted to high five me or pat me on the back. Except for Jared and Josh."

"What? Were they mean?"

"No. They slapped me on the ass."

"Ah, how sweet!" she said, teasing. "Anyway, the whole class expects to see your future husband at the ceremony today. They're asking me if he'll be there. I tell them yes."

"They're going to see more than that. My future mother and father-in-law are going to be there."

Michelle giggled. "Are your future in-laws going to meet your grandparents?"

"It's a big place and there will be a lot of people, but with my luck..."

***

At 2:30 when the doors opened for the 3:00 pm start of the ceremony at the Memorial Auditorium, Daniel and Enrique and Leticia Quintana met Charles and Nancy Larkin and their daughter-in-law Dawn for the first time.

Charles held his wife's arm and Dawn followed them toward the entrance when a middle-aged woman approached them and introduced herself, her husband and her son, who, Charles learned, was the veterinarian for whom Aaron worked. Charles was pleased to meet Aaron's boss. He assumed that the Quintana's also had a graduate in the ceremony. He thanked the boss for giving Aaron a chance to prove himself in his first job. Leticia Quintana answered that Aaron was a very good worker and a wonderful young man. Charles supposed then that Leticia ran the clinic office. Charles observed that Daniel Quintana looked young to have finished his schooling and also was handsome and athletic. Charles thought that Daniel's father was impressive in the way he carried himself, very poised and masculine.

***

After the ceremony, Aaron read Grandma's congratulatory text. At the bottom, she wrote, _The family is coming at five thirty, dear. Don't be late._

Amid the hubbub of four hundred fresh-faced Kennedy High alumni on the floor of the auditorium, Aaron and Danny didn't disappoint Aaron's classmates. They exchanged texts and within a minute Danny had worked his way to his boyfriend's side. Once there, he earned a spontaneous cheer when he kissed Aaron. He kept his arm around him as he was introduced to dozens of Aaron's fellow new graduates.

Aaron spent many minutes looking from one smiling face to another. He lingered a few extra seconds on Raymond, Jared, Josh and some other young men. It had special meaning for Aaron that today Danny met his high school and some middle school crushes. (He teased himself that this included the majority of his male classmates.) These were the guys who helped him learn just by being themselves who he really was and what kind of man would be right for him when he was ready for love.

***

There was a surprise for Aaron when he arrived at his grandparents' home. David was standing in the doorway. Aaron's much-loved cousin had taken two days off from school and made the six-hour drive to attend Aaron's graduation party. Aaron felt his eyes grow moist with emotion. He hugged David so long it prompted a homophobic jibe from David's younger brother. David flipped him the finger. Their mother chastised David for his rudeness but said nothing to Jordan.

Aaron sat next to David while the aunts and uncles enjoyed drinks and then again at dinner. David's mother chided the two of them for whispering and carrying on a private conversation. After photos were taken of the new graduate cutting the cake, David talked the adults into letting his generation take Aaron out for a celebratory milkshake. All six cousins jumped into Aaron's uncle's giant minivan and drove twenty minutes to the ice cream parlor that David had frequented in high school.

They ordered their sundaes, milk shakes and banana splits and then Aaron gave a silent nod to David and sat back in the booth observing while David announced to the cousins that Aaron was gay.

"You lazy fuck," Jordan said. "You get David to do it for you? That's messed up. I want a proper coming out from you, cousin."

Aaron sat up. "You're right. I apologize," he said solemnly. "Ethan, Rachael, Nicole, Jordan...There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time. It's about myself..."

"Never mind," Jordan said. "It's not the same now." He was laughing but then he switched instantly to serious. "Aaron, I'm sorry about using that word earlier."

"Fag?"

"Yeah, that's the one. I'll never say it again."

"What about all the other words?"

"I'll do my best." Jordan gave him a proud smile.

David took charge again. "People, when a loved one comes out, there's only one acceptable response: _Thank you, cousin, for sharing this important part of your life with us. You have our complete support."_

The other four repeated the sentence in unison.

"Wow. Impressive," Aaron said.

Rachael asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yes. You'll meet him after I come out to Grandad."

"Oh, god!" her sister said, grimacing.

"Yeah, right," Aaron agreed. He could tell that none of them envied him when it came to that task.

David had another item on his agenda. Just as the ice cream dishes were being placed at the table, he asked, "Did you guys know Grandad is an alcoholic?"

"He quit drinking last year," Nicole said defensively.

"That doesn't change anything. He may not be drinking now but he's still an alcoholic. He was what they call a functioning one because he held a job all his life and seemed to get by. That doesn't mean it didn't do a lot of damage."

The others were silent.

"Aaron," David said. "You bore the brunt of it because you lived with him and he was the only father you ever had. We should talk about it soon."

***

_Soon_ meant three long conversations by phone over the next two weeks. David learned about Aaron's depression diagnosis and his sessions with Angela. He was just completing a second semester course on alcohol and drug counseling and he knew about COA's (children of alcoholics.)

"It's what happens to people who grow up in that mess," David said. "They blame themselves. In your case it wasn't just the alcohol. It was the gay thing too. I think that was why he was so cruel to you. You have to talk to your therapist about all of it. She knows you are a COA, right?"

It took very little time for David to discover that Aaron had hidden the fact of Grandad's drinking problem from Angela. He made Aaron promise to tell her.

"I'm sorry, Aaron," David said. "All those years I tried to console you, saying 'Grandad doesn't hate you' and then later we tried to figure out together why he was so miserable to you...if I'd known more I could have helped."

"Thanks, David. You did help."

# CHAPTER 34

The end of high school simplified Aaron's life. The clinic gave him longer hours during the summer so that he could cover for the full-time employees' summer vacations. He began immediately working the same nine to six shift that Danny did. With the longer daylight hours, he had already begun to run in the mornings with Coach Nilsen at a high school cross-country course. He convinced his grandparents not to expect him for dinner and so he usually didn't come home until eight or nine, spending the hours after work with Danny. On Fridays and Saturdays, he didn't come home until eleven o'clock, or sometimes a few minutes later.

For most of June he procrastinated about choosing a date to come out. He did, however, complete his _contingency preparations_.

Michelle's dad had read online that young gay people living with their parents should prepare a plan before they came out. In the event of the worst-case scenario, whether the secret was revealed accidentally or when the gay child intentionally broke the news, people advising gay teens said they needed the plan, some cash and an emergency backpack ready with clothes and toiletries. Aaron's support group agreed it made sense.

Aaron gave $700 to Michelle to keep for him and started carrying the backpack in the clinic's station wagon. Mr. and Mrs. Durand told him if he got kicked out of the house, he could stay with them. That was the first phase of the plan.

Afterwards, for the intermediate phase, as soon as possible, Aaron would find a room to rent. He had saved enough for a security deposit and first month's rent. He would need to find a permanent, full-time job by September when he would either switch to American River College and just take a few classes or stay at Sacramento State as a part-time student. Obviously, he would have to give up his hopes of running cross country at the college-level. During the summer, he would save for a car of his own.

***

Leticia had noticed the change in her son and Aaron after their session with Brian's colleagues in the psychology department. It was a great relief to see Aaron happy again and her son no longer burdened with his worry that he would lose Aaron. She saw the teenager several times a week and since May, for several hours each Sunday evening. She had steadily grown more attached to him. When she learned of his plans to come out, she took her role as a mentor very seriously.

One Sunday, when the rest of the family headed out to the patio, Leticia took Aaron by the hand and sat him on the loveseat next to her for a private conversation. She wanted to understand why he was so pessimistic about coming out to his family.

"What makes you think they might reject you?" she asked.

"Well, it's just the way my grandfather is. He was a marine and a fire captain and I think he would probably be ashamed to have _one_ in the family." Aaron was very earnest.

"Danny's dad is a former Marine and he handled it ok."

"You two are a lot younger than Grandad and Grandma."

"Are they religious?"

"No."

"I just don't understand," Leticia said. "I only met them for that one minute but they seemed like they would probably take it the way other parents do...shock, denial, maybe some anger not at you but at the situation and eventually acceptance."

"Maybe you're right." He shrugged. "I think they've been in denial all along. I mean, I couldn't throw, hit or kick a ball and if anyone compared me to my cousins, they'd have to wonder."

"I don't know about that, Aaron," Leticia said with a motherly smile.

"Yeah, I guess...maybe it's that they got stuck with me and everything else. It doesn't matter what I think about all of this now, because no matter what, I'm going to come out." He shook his head forcefully. "If they reject me...well, I won't let it bother me. I don't care and I'm ready for whatever happens."

Leticia shook her head sadly. "It's not that easy, cariño."

"Leticia," Aaron said softly, "there's something else. After we talked to Brian's friends, they made me come back for counseling...for depression and self-esteem issues."

She thought he had been holding something back so she was glad when he confided this.

"They're just moderate symptoms..." Aaron hastened to add.

"Well, it's a good thing, really, that you're taking care of them."

"Yes. Danny knows but I don't tell him what we talk about. I don't want him to worry."

"Is that the real reason?"

"No," Aaron confessed. "I don't want him to think there's anything the matter with me."

"There isn't, you know."

"I know. Anyway, they're helping me a lot and I only have to see them for a few months."

Leticia hugged Aaron and told him, "You are very strong. I'll never worry about you again."

***

It was a limited disclosure Aaron gave Leticia that day, its components carefully selected. He didn't want to push Leticia away. Since she had seen what was going on with him last April and Danny and Brian already knew about the counseling with Angela, he reasoned that he could confide in her about the depression diagnosis without any additional damage to her opinion of him. He could downplay it because, really, everybody had said it wasn't a big deal.

Dr. Card had already helped Aaron to recognize that his _automatic thoughts_ were that he was weak, unmanly, clumsy, unlovable, and indecisive. He loved her but he definitely wasn't going to share any of that with his boyfriend's mother. He also wouldn't tell her that having been depressed before, it was easy to relapse as he had when he thought Danny was unhappy with him. Leticia could just be _aware_ of the counseling, like Danny. He would get through it and the coming out 'ordeal' and then move on with his life...with Danny.

# CHAPTER 35

By the last Wednesday in June when he followed Danny to his house after work, Aaron still hadn't picked a date for the talk with his family. He parked the Dodge on the street and walked into the open garage. Closing the door behind him, Aaron entered the kitchen and saw Danny assembling their dinner. This was a surprise.

"We have ravioli, um, cheese-filled, some rolled steak in sauce, garlic bread and salad," Danny said.

Aaron gave him a look of amazement. "How...?"

"No, I didn't make it. Ma brought everything over today."

"Is it a special occasion?"

"Yeah. Let's sit on the couch while the food heats up."

Danny was smiling and his eyes were bright. Aaron grew excited, wondering what was going to happen.

Danny pulled Aaron to the couch beside him. He reached behind to the end table and came back with a small box, wrapped in silver paper. "For you, Aaron, if you'll accept it."

Aaron took off the wrapping. Inside was a black felt-covered box with a spring top; the kind jewelry came in.

"What is it," Aaron asked as he opened it. He saw two men's rings with bands of blue-green stone set in silver.

"They're promise rings. The stone is azurite and malachite. It matches you're eyes." Danny brought his hands to Aaron's face and pushed his hair to the side. "I'm hoping you'll accept one and give the other to me."

Aaron was amazed and delighted. Danny had been staring into Aaron's eyes since he handed him the box. Aaron beamed at him. He handed the slightly larger one of the pair to Danny. "They're beautiful. Thank you. It's nice. Really romantic." He shook his head smiling and then asked, "Um...what exactly are we promising?"

"I think you know, buddy. We've been together three months; I finally got you to admit you love me and we're both pretty optimistic about where things are going. I guess I'm getting your promise that your sweet ass belongs to me." Danny shook his head. "Uh, um...sorry. That doesn't sound so romantic, does it?"

"It does to me, Danny." Aaron threw his arms around Danny's neck and kissed him.

"There's something else I wanted to tell you," Danny said after they pulled apart a few inches. "It's about your contingency plan. If they kick you out, if you want, you can move in with me. Not just temporarily, I mean."

It was wonderful to hear but Aaron's response was, "I'm not sure."

"No?" Danny showed no signs of being hurt. He just seemed curious.

"Well, I don't think they'll kick me out and if they do, I have to think about what it means. I've got to...well, um...what about college?"

"Yeah, you should still go," Danny said seriously. "You make enough at the clinic to pay for tuition. You can use the station wagon to get to classes. And you won't have to pay for anything else."

Aaron shook his head. "I can't ask you to support me. It wouldn't be right. I'm not your responsibility. Of course, someday I'd like us to live together. I guess you already knew _that_."

"It crossed my mind," Danny said with a grin.

"When we do, I need to be a real adult not...some dependent."

Danny's smile widened. "You mean it's better for our relationship if, when that time comes, we're both self-supporting, real _functioning_ adults?"

"I think so." Aaron knew he didn't sound sure.

"Well, my friend, here's something that you should know about me. My parents paid for my entire education: room and board, tuition and all expenses. They bought me my car. They gave me the 20% down payment on this condo. And you already know my uncle gave me the job."

Aaron nodded. It was an interesting admission by his boyfriend.

"My mother or Nora or my uncle and, pretty often now, _you_ , make all my decisions for me. Except for sex. Even there, you always decide _when_. I decide _what_."

Aaron gave him a doubtful look.

"It's true. Think about it. Anyway, what I'm saying is I'm not exactly an independent adult either. Maybe you've grown up faster than I did with what you've faced in life...losing your father, living in a foreign country, working while you're still in school. So, I'm just saying, we're not as far apart as you think."

The microwave timer went off. They stood and walked to the kitchen with their arms around each other. Danny had Aaron set the table while he brought the food. Before they sat down, Danny lit two candles.

"Ma's idea," he said with a grin. "Apparently, she knows how to seduce a guy."

Tonight was as open as they had ever been with each other. After dinner, their connection carried over into the sex. Danny let Aaron spend more time exploring his body and evoking reactions from him with his mouth, tongue and hands. Aaron loved the moans and shudders he got Danny to make. Then Danny turned him over and very lovingly fucked him. Aaron felt the pulse and warmth when Danny came in him. After licking and caressing Aaron to his orgasm, Danny said, "I do love you, Aaron."

"I know," Aaron replied. "And it's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

# CHAPTER 36

"I understand that you want to get it over with, Aaron," Enrique said. He sat at the head of the table, drinking a coffee. Aaron sat to his right with a small plate of leftovers. Danny was next to Aaron, watching him eat. Leticia stood behind them. His wife saw Aaron often but Enrique usually only spent these few hours each Sunday with his son's boyfriend and it was one of those times when he weighed in on when Aaron should come out to his family.

"I guess I'll do it next week...maybe Sunday morning," Aaron told him.

"That's what my wife said you were planning," Enrique said. "I'm thinking you could put it off for a week."

"Ok," Aaron said, tentatively.

"I want to invite your parents...I mean, your grandparents...to the company picnic. Not so that I can tell them for you but so that I can help prepare them. If I explain what it's like to have a child tell you they're gay, maybe it will help them when the time comes."

"You have a gay child?" Danny asked, pretending to be shocked.

"Cállate, cariño," Enrique told Danny affectionately.

"It makes sense, Aaron," Leticia said. "We know what they are going to be going through. We can show them it's not unusual and that their child should be treated with love and respect when he tells the truth about himself."

"That wasn't really what happened, Ma," Danny said with a look of amazement. "You caught me having sex when I was fourteen, remember?"

"Well, we won't tell them _that_ , you numbskull," Leticia said with a dramatic shudder. "Well, maybe after Aaron comes out, just to show them it could have been worse."

"They wanted to have me neutered," Danny told Aaron, raising his right hand as if to swear an oath.

Leticia slapped Danny's hand, laughing now, and Aaron began to giggle. Even Enrique had a smile on his face.

" _We will not tell them any of that_ ," he said adamantly.

"Just a nice, made up story, then?" Danny asked.

"Yes," Enrique said firmly.

"Definitely," Leticia agreed.

***

The company picnic for the employees of Quintana Orchards and Dr. Avila's veterinary clinic and their families was held every summer at the group picnic site near the main beach at Granite Bay in the Folsom Lake State Recreational Area. It was expected to be a perfect day, with a high of 85 and a pleasant breeze. Nearly seventy people gathered for a day of swimming, water skiing, volleyball and relaxing under the oaks. Charles and Nancy, with their daughter-in-law, arrived by eleven, but the activities were well underway.

One week earlier, Aaron had pleaded with Grandad to come. He seemed reluctant and Aaron's grandmother and mother we're even less enthusiastic.

"It's for the employees' families and I think you'll have a good time," Aaron had said, feeling like a child again.

A knowing smile crossed Grandad's face as he stared at Aaron. "All right, son. We'll come."

Only minutes after they arrived, Enrique had Grandad on the beach for a three-game volleyball match to decide the bragging rights between the farm and the clinic. It was Charles and Enrique's team taking on the clinic's team. They were equally matched, each with two "old guys", two young women and the rest athletic young men. Matthew was on Enrique's team and Danny played on Dr. Avila's. Covered in sunscreen and sheltered by a big umbrella, Aaron sat with Justin and other spectators. He tried not to stare at his shirtless boyfriend.

Up the hill, under the oaks, the caterers roasted beef ribs and chicken and, as soon as the third game concluded with a narrow victory for Enrique's team, they put hamburgers and hot dogs-plus veggie dogs for Justin and the other vegetarians-on the grill. Leticia reserved a separate redwood table in the shade for her husband and the two elder Larkins. Dawn was invited to sit with Nora and Aaron's other officemates. Aaron and Danny were a short distance down the slope at a long table with most of the young people.

Danny's parents and Aaron's grandparents got along extremely well. In an animated conversation, the two men shared their life stories. Both had joined the Marines after high school, (nineteen years apart), had married young and had worked their way through college. They were two hard-working men who succeeded in their chosen fields and had families of whom they were proud. After what Nancy said was "just a wonderful meal," Enrique offered Charles a beer, which he declined, and then brought up the subject of parenthood.

"Those girls down in the water are the only two still at home," Enrique told Charles. "You've met my youngest son Daniel. The older two are out in the speed boats taking people water skiing. Oh, and there in the shade..." He pointed at two young, pregnant women on lawn chairs forty feet away.

"Oh, I see," Charles said. "Congratulations."

"On the left is my oldest daughter and the other girl is my daughter-in-law," Enrique said. "We're expecting my first grandchildren in September and October."

"You have a nice family, Leticia and Enrique," Nancy said. "Handsome, athletic sons, very pretty daughters. They all seem so happy."

"We will admit to exercising a strong influence on our children," Enrique said. "My wife is even more assertive than I am."

"He's right," Leticia admitted. "But I suspect _Captain Larkin_ didn't put up with any nonsense, did you?"

Charles chuckled. "That has been mentioned from time to time."

Enrique intended to ask Charles about his experience of having to raise a grandson. He was pleasantly surprised when Charles brought it up himself.

"Well, I thought we had done a good job with our two sons and daughter but then I found myself at age fifty-nine about to do it all over again when my daughter-in-law and the boy had to move in with us. You know, fifty-nine is really too old to take on a responsibility like that. _Payback_ , I suppose, for having failed with my younger son. He abandoned his family. I still don't know what went wrong with him. The other two turned out fine, so I can't really blame myself."

"No," Leticia said. "Sometimes these things just happen."

"Charles continued. "Aaron has been a challenge. My wife did most of the work, of course. I did the best I could but our personalities have never really meshed. He was a very timid boy, not good at all on teams. He's not like any of the other men in the family. I've got three other grandsons, each one popular and athletic." Charles sighed.

The other three at the table were silent.

"He's very secretive as well. He thinks we don't see through it, I guess." Charles shrugged. "None of our other children were like that, but he's eighteen so there's nothing to be done now. And, you know, he seemed to handle himself well in Costa Rica. Oh, and we are really grateful to your family for giving him a job. I hope he's shouldering his responsibilities."

"Definitely, Charles," Leticia said with enthusiasm. "I've seen for myself many times over the last six months. He is a good worker. He has a good attitude. He's smart and serious. His coworkers adore him. You should be proud."

Charles and Nancy both thanked her.

"Yes," Enrique continued, "it's commendable that you stepped up to raise your grandson. I'd like to think that the hardest part of our job is behind us, but you know even now we're still working to see them fully independent, married...or something. At least settled down."

"That's our goal, isn't it?" Nancy offered.

"We've had our share of challenges along the way, too," Enrique said. He paused to make sure he had Charles' attention. Charles gave him a sympathetic nod. "Maybe they don't pick the right person to date or sometimes they would only tell us what they wanted us to hear-you know, little lies so that they can get away with something. Then one of the kids came out to us...as gay, that is. It's been a few years now. _That_ presented its own set of problems. Didn't it, Lettie?"

"It did."

"I knew gay kids don't have any control over it but they typically think they've let their parents down and that's sad. That was the case with our child. But really, I was sorry I hadn't figured it out so I could make those teenage years easier. My wife and I always feel free to share our opinions with our children about leading a good life, but in this case, that doesn't apply. We realized that there's nothing to do but tell them you love them."

Charles and Nancy seemed sympathetic. Leticia made Enrique admit that maybe he wasn't as cool and calm and wise when it first came up as he had suggested. "But overall," she said, "he handled it very well. I was proud of my husband."

***

Afterwards, Enrique believed that he and Leticia had accomplished their goal of getting Charles and Nancy to think about what it would be like to have a gay child. Leticia was unsure. Charles comments about Aaron disturbed her. He seemed cold when he talked about what he saw as his grandson's shortcomings. She sensed some anger on his part. She began to suspect that Aaron's childhood may have been more difficult than he had led her to believe.

***

Enrique's presentation would have been more effective but, as it turned out, while his host described the challenge of a young person coming out to his or her family, Charles Larkin cast his gaze down the hill to the beach where his grandson stood in the shallow water waiting for a turn in the ski boats. He saw Aaron playfully splash one of Dr. Avila's teenage daughters and then struggle unsuccessfully when she grabbed him and dunked him in the lake.

At home with his wife that evening, Charles never mentioned the Quintana's touching revelation about their gay child's coming out. When Enrique was talking, Charles had wondered which of the three Quintana daughters must be a lesbian but he didn't think about it again. Instead, as they were getting ready for bed, Charles told Nancy what he had seen in the water with Aaron while Enrique spoke. That attractive Hispanic girl, he claimed, might very well be the object of their grandson's affection.

# CHAPTER 37

Four days later, Aaron came home from work early. It was a Wednesday afternoon in July and he was sweating from the fifteen minute ride in the station wagon. He reached into his pocket and took out the silver promise ring with the blue-green band of stone that Danny had given him. He slid it onto the second finger of his left hand, left the car and crossed the lawn to the front door. Aaron walked through the house and stuck his head into Grandad's office. He was at his desk working at the computer.

"Can I talk to you, Grandad?" Aaron asked.

Charles Larkin studied Aaron through the tops of his bifocals. He gave him the same smug smile he had shown when he agreed to go to the company picnic. He nodded.

"I'll call Mom and Grandma, ok?"

Grandad looked back at his computer monitor.

Aaron knew he hadn't sounded as strong as he hoped. He felt like he did as a child when he would try to talk Grandad into letting him drop out of a team sport.

As they preceded Aaron into Grandad's office, his mother and grandmother appeared worried. They sat on the couch. Aaron sat at the edge of a straight wooden chair in front of the desk. He took a deep breath but found himself staring at the small bronze statue at the corner of Grandad's desk that held his Purple Heart medal. He could not raise his eyes to meet theirs but he began anyway.

"Grandad, Mom, Grandma, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. It's about myself. Um...please don't...um...think...um...blame...it's nothing you did, but..."

Fuck, this is going worse than I thought. Forget the speech; just say it!

He looked up. Grandad was staring at him like he was a babbling idiot. _Which I am._ Grandma looked horrified. His mother looked confused. He looked back down at his lap.

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm gay. I've known it for a while now and I wanted to tell the truth to you so you would understand why I've been acting the way I have."

At that moment, he could not force himself to say another word. No one else said anything either for many seconds. Finally he heard his mother's voice.

"Maybe you're confused. It's possible, just because you were always so small you were afraid girls wouldn't like you. You don't seem like those people. You're not effeminate."

Aaron found the strength to speak now. "No, Mom," he said adamantly. "It's not something you can be confused about. It's something I've always known, really. And gay guys aren't effeminate. That's just a mean stereotype."

He had raised his voice. He exhaled. He was looking at the floor now but the sound of his grandfather's sigh caused him to sit up straight and face him.

Grandad looked angry. A quick glance told him his mother and grandmother were very worried. Aaron struggled to suppress his fear that his grandfather was about to say just what he thought of him. Aaron already knew but he didn't want to hear it.

"You've always been _different_ ," Grandad said sternly. "I'm sorry but I compare you to myself, the two sons I raised, my other grandsons, all the men who served under me and I have to say it." He shook his head. "I did my best with you."

Aaron looked at his grandfather's expression. He wasn't really angry. He looked disappointed. _Very_ _disappointed_.

"We never had this in our family," he continued. "My father and my coaches taught me and the rest of my friends to leave those people alone...to steer clear of them. I know there are some men who never fully grow up and take on a real man's responsibilities in the world. I guess some of them try but I never knew any in the marines or the fire department. Maybe it's not their choice. I really tried to give you a chance. You just wouldn't make an effort and you were always afraid. I did my best."

Grandad's emphasis on "I" conveyed to Aaron that he had failed his grandfather. Aaron felt his anger surging. _He's blaming me for something I can't change._ Then suddenly it turned to panic. Grandad had begun to cry.

Aaron hadn't cried in front of anyone since he was eight years old. He had felt at the edge going in but seeing his grandfather's tears caused him to choke up and then hang his head and suppress a sob. His grandmother and his mother began to cry quietly.

It was awkward and it was horrible. Aaron couldn't remember ever seeing any of them cry. Then Aaron _really_ lost it.

He covered his face. For a time, his hearing seemed to fail or, actually, a loud hum inside his head seemed to drown everything out. _Lucky me,_ he thought. _I'm spared hearing myself sobbing like a little boy_. A few moments later, he managed to compose himself and said, "I'm sorry." He sighed with relief, realizing that his outburst was over. Then he had absolutely no more words in him.

Grandad had regained control as soon as Aaron broke down. Now he cleared his throat. "So it seems you've been lying to us all year. You wanted us to believe you had a girlfriend. Have you misled Michelle? All those Sunday races...where did you really go? Do you really work the hours you claim?"

Aaron tried to speak but could only utter an "um."

Grandad cut him off. "Ok. You've made your big statement," he said coldly. "You said what you wanted to. You can't expect us to be happy. We need some time now."

Grandad didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. It was the closest he came to sounding angry; he did sound angry at first but with his last words he sounded exhausted and crushed. Aaron had never seen him like that either.

Speaking softly, Aaron said, "I understand. Is it ok if I go out for a while?"

"Yes," Grandad said, his stern voice returning to him.

Aaron turned to the couch. "Can I borrow your car, Grandma?"

She nodded, rose to her feet and walked Aaron out of his grandfather's study. Aaron's mother followed them, remaining a few feet behind until she reached the staircase. She climbed the stairs and Aaron soon heard her bedroom door close. His grandmother walked silently with Aaron to the kitchen to get her keys.

There, in the middle of the room, she pulled him toward her and hugged him.

"I'm sorry for what you've gone through, Aaron. I know I don't ever say it, we're not very good about it in this family, but I love you very much."

Leaving the beat up station wagon parked in front of the house, Aaron backed his grandmother's mint-condition red Mustang out of the garage. He craved the power today. He wanted to feel the acceleration. _And_ , he thought, _if I'm going to be crying like a baby I might as well do it in a hot car._

***

It was more traumatic than Aaron expected. He went to Danny's parents' home, arriving just after Danny came from work. With Danny beside him, he sat with Leticia and Enrique and Danny's sisters at the big kitchen table and poured his heart out. Leticia asked him how he felt. Aaron surprised himself-he thought he was in control-but he started to cry. That brought tears to Danny's eyes. Leticia hugged Aaron.

"I'm really sorry, everyone for..." he was choking up again.

Enrique rescued him. "Don't you worry at all. You are entitled to shed a tear. I wish I could have made it easier for you."

Danny coughed and nodded. "I guess we can't help but feel we've disappointed our families because we're not the people they thought we were."

Enrique cleared his throat gently.

Aaron started again. "I can't understand why my grandfather's reaction is so important to me especially, you know, considering the _fucking_ abuse I grew up with."

His words horrified him. He shook his head forcefully. "I'm so sorry, Leticia, Enrique. I didn't mean to...it just came out."

"Don't worry, hijo," Leticia said. "It's all right."

"Aaron, it's complicated," Danny said. "It's a complicated relationship. From the moment you and Dawn moved in with them, you've lived with the idea that you were completely dependent on Charles for food, clothing and shelter. You were taught that you had to respect and obey him every day of your life. You were a little kid who paid a price for your parents' failures."

There were more hugs now from Danny's sisters and his parents for both Danny and Aaron, who was still quite upset.

"Maybe we should give you boys some time to yourselves," Leticia said.

Aaron shook his head. "No, I'm ok. It helps being with you."

Danny, his eyes moist said, "Yeah, thanks Ma. Sometimes you need your mom's hugs more than anything else."

Enrique stood and said, "Yeah well...I'll get these kids something to eat."

***

Aaron returned to a quiet house that night. He undressed and got into bed, but before he turned out the light, he found himself shedding a few more tears. Without asking for permission the way she usually did, Daisy jumped onto the bed and placed her paws on his chest and nuzzled him. His oldest friend was there to comfort him.

***

The next installment of Aaron's coming out saga occurred the next day. His grandmother texted Aaron at work that Grandad wanted to talk to him at six o'clock. That gave him almost exactly eight hours to worry about what was going to happen.

Grandad reacted differently than anyone predicted. The two of them were in their same positions, he behind his large desk, Aaron before him on the hard chair. Grandad wasn't angry; he didn't apologize, and he definitely didn't suddenly become supportive like a TV parent. He was in control though. He was the fire captain, the leader, the boss talking to a young, unpromising employee. He seemed to have dropped all expectations for Aaron. It was suddenly a complete mystery to him what would become of his grandson.

"I expect you will start school in September as planned." He sounded somewhat uninterested.

"Yes."

"You can study whatever you want. We'll pay your tuition and give you room and board and health insurance."

"Thank you."

"You're eighteen now so you can come and go as you like, but I still insist that you not drink or smoke."

"Thank you. I won't."

Grandad sighed. "With a heterosexual son, Aaron, you want him to enjoy life but you don't want him to get a girl pregnant. And you don't want your daughter to be taken advantage of. That's all obvious. With a homosexual son, well, I'm not telling you what you can or can't do." Grandad shook his head and grimaced. "Whatever, safe sex is _absolutely_ required."

Aaron nodded. He exhaled. He knew he looked scared but he couldn't help it.

"It's very important, Aaron that you do not embarrass the family in any way. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I don't want you _ever_ to talk about anything sexual." He made eye contact with Aaron for a moment then his gaze fell to Aaron's hands folded in front of him. Grandad was staring at the promise ring.

"Ok."

Clearly uncomfortable, Grandad asked, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

That part of the discussion had come to an end. Grandad did not ask who Aaron's boyfriend was or seem to care anything about him. Then he asked if Aaron would try out for the cross-country team at Sacramento State. It was clear that this was very important to Grandad. He had been indifferent about every other aspect of Aaron's future but about this he cared.

"Well, I was thinking of filling out the form on line and there's a conditioning clinic starting in a few weeks. I have been training."

"Are your times good enough?"

"Yeah. Better than some guys on last year's team."

That was it. It had come down to talking about sports.

***

This second session had been scheduled ahead of time so members of Aaron's support group were gathered next door at Michelle's house, planning to deal with the repercussions from a second possibly traumatic confrontation. His grandmother had seen the look on Aaron's face when he came out of Grandad's office so she nodded sympathetically when he told her he wasn't hungry and asked if he could skip dinner.

Danny, Justin, Michelle and her parents Mr. and Mrs. Durand were in the living room two doors down. David was on FaceTime, his face visible on Michelle's laptop on the entertainment center.

"You look..." Michelle began as Aaron entered the room with her father.

"Like shit?" Aaron asked. He sat on one side of the couch with Danny.

"I was going to say, flushed, exhausted, sweaty even but, oh my god, Aaron, I've never heard you use that particular word."

"It fits today."

"How did it go, bud?" Danny asked placing his arm around him.

"Not that bad really. I'm not homeless. I still get to go to college. I guess I'm still in the family."

"Is your grandfather _accepting_ , Aaron?" Mr. Durand asked.

"I wouldn't say that," Aaron said with a humorless chuckle. "It's pretty clear that I am now at the bottom of the list of grandkids."

"What?" Justin asked.

"Well, I always assumed I was fourth on the strength of the Larkin Y chromosome but now I'm sure Rachael and Nicole are well ahead of me. The only thing I'm hanging on to is the possibility of being on the cross-country team."

Mr. Durand and Justin gave him a puzzled look.

"I think you're right, cousin," David's smiling face said from the laptop screen. "But being the favorite isn't all that great you know. The rest of us will make it up to you."

In a sing-song voice Aaron said, "Thank you, David." Then, seriously, he added, "You know, I think Grandad is doing the best he can." He said it with a trace of optimism. "And, on the positive side, I no longer have a curfew. I can come and go as I like as long as I don't embarrass the family."

"Well that's going to be a problem," Justin said solemnly.

"Why?" Aaron demanded.

"Look who you're dating."

The rest of the support group laughed. Mr. Durand announced, "I've ordered pizzas, including a vegetarian one for my new friend Justin. They'll be here in fifteen minutes. David, I wish you could share a slice with us."

"No problem Mr. Durand. I'll just watch."

They laughed and David told them he would say good-bye. First he asked Aaron to come closer to the laptop camera. Then he said, "Hey, cousin. I'm proud of you and I love you."

***

After dinner, before they 'adjourned' the meeting of the support group, Justin asked quite matter-of-factly, "When are we going to tell Grandad that Danny is the one fucking his grandson?"

As soon as he said it, he blushed deeply and apologized to Michelle's parents.

"Don't worry about it, Justin," Mrs. Durand said.

"No, really. I would die if I ever said that word in front of my mom or dad. I don't know why I did it."

"He's telling the truth," Danny said.

"It's all right, Justin. We've heard it a few times, even from that golden-haired angel over there," Mr. Durand said.

"Look at the bright side, Aaron," Michelle said with a grin. "We'll be able to tell Grandad that you're fucking a _doctor_."

# CHAPTER 38

In the weeks after the coming out drama, Danny and Aaron's shared life took on a new character. Danny settled into a comfortable routine in which he worked hard, exercised religiously and spent most of his waking hours with his boyfriend.

Aaron shared that routine to a degree but his life was still in some turmoil. He and Danny ran with the club every Sunday morning and went to Danny's parents' home every Sunday afternoon. Most Friday nights, they would go out with some or all of the group that had gathered last March for what Aaron called his "loss of virginity/birthday party." That included Matthew, Justin, Kimmie, Shellie and Danny's gay uncles. Aaron was not expected home for meals and he usually went home only to sleep and change his clothes. Grandad hadn't said anything about staying out all night and Aaron didn't want to push him so he tried to get in by eleven each night, a little later on weekends.

Since school was out, Michelle and Aaron no longer studied together but neither was about to neglect their friendship. They scheduled a best friends' date once a week, based on Michelle's availability. On these nights, Justin was expected to entertain Danny. (Aaron actually scheduled those dates as well.)

The degree of turmoil in Aaron's life derived from his efforts to earn a place on the university cross-country team, the activities related to the start of college and his counseling sessions with Angela.

***

Aaron had stopped lying to his friends and family about being gay but he was caught in another deception only a week after coming out. In an evening FaceTime conversation, David asked how Danny had reacted when Aaron told him about Grandad's alcoholism.

Aaron's head sunk to his chest. "I haven't told him," he whispered.

"Oh," David said. He stared at a fixed point slightly away from the camera, obviously Aaron's image on his IPad. "I guess that means you haven't told your counselor either."

Aaron had never actually said he told Dr. Card, only that he would. He didn't respond to David's assertion.

"Tell the truth," David ordered.

"No. I haven't told her."

When they began their conversation, David said it had been hot in Santa Barbara where he had been working as a construction laborer during the break. Aaron wondered if the heat had tested David's famously even temper because David lost it tonight.

"Fuck, Aaron. You know that's important. They must have asked you on the forms you filled out."

"Yes."

"But you didn't tell them?"

"It was a box to check. I left it blank."

"But you promised me last month you would tell her."

"I'm sorry."

"Look, Aaron," David said, sounding now every bit the authoritarian their grandfather was, "I'm not going to ask you why you've been misleading the person trying to help you. I just want you to know that it's just about the most important piece of information you could give her about yourself. It makes all the difference. I've studied it. I know."

Aaron promised he would e-mail Angela as soon as they hung up.

"You need to tell Danny, too. What's he going to think when he learns you've been hiding it from him?"

***

He kept his promise to David and confessed to Angela. He didn't offer an explanation for holding back; he only apologized. As it turned out, Angela didn't need the explanation.

When they met again in her office the last week in July, it was their tenth session together. Angela reminded him of that. "And you're just now telling me you grew up in an alcoholic home?"

She didn't expect an answer. Her voice changed to the kind, sympathetic person he was used to. "I think I know why. You were afraid I would tell you we'll have to extend your treatment and that you'll have to join a support group and stick with that going forward."

Aaron's hopes of finishing counseling before classes started ended that day. Just as he feared, Angela told him she would recommend counseling through an organization specializing in teen children of alcoholics. It looked like Aaron would be getting mental health assistance for the indefinite future.

Originally, his sessions had focused on his moderate depression and his self-esteem issues. Later, the central topic was Aaron's effort to come out. Now Angela knew he had been evasive and sometimes, maybe, dishonest about his life. He had followed her plans and done his homework every week-exercises at changing his thinking in a positive way-and had accepted her help in preparing his coming out speech for his family, but he knew he had let her and himself down by withholding information.

"I really am sorry, Angela. You're right about everything. Even after my cousin told me how important it was, I told myself we could work around it, that I could handle that on my own."

"Denial is a common coping mechanism of children of alcoholics, Aaron."

Even while he was apologizing to Angela for hiding the truth, Aaron was calculating how long he could put off telling Danny or anyone else who didn't already know.

***

On the strength of his times in the 10K and a recommendation from Coach Nilsen, Aaron got an early morning interview with the Sacramento State cross-country coach. The college coach seemed to accept the excuse of the foreign exchange program for Aaron having missed his last high school season. He liked the report he'd received from Coach Nilsen but he didn't want to raise Aaron's hopes until he saw him in action. Toward the end of their meeting, he asked Aaron about his growth. Because of Aaron's youthful appearance and physique, he wondered whether Aaron had reached his full height.

"You're about 5'11", aren't you?"

"I think so."

"How tall is your father?"

Aaron felt his face grow warm. "I don't know."

Now the coach was embarrassed.

"It's ok," Aaron said. "I'll ask my mother."

"Sure, sorry to pry. It could give us an idea if you'll grow anymore and how tall you'll get. Text me when you get the number...and let me know your mother's height too."

Aaron said he would. He left with no promises for a spot on the team but he did get an invitation to attend the team's conditioning camp in August.

***

Two hours later, Aaron and Danny were in Justin's office at the YMCA analyzing Aaron's cross-country interview.

"Height isn't really an advantage in distance runners," Danny said.

"No, but physical development is," Justin said. "If Aaron is still growing it means he's still has that improvement left in his performance. It's like a seventeen year old is going to run faster than he did when he was fifteen. Aaron could have more time before his performance peaks and so more potential for improvement."

"Good point," Danny said.

Justin turned to his computer and opened a search engine. From a bookshelf on the wall, Danny selected one of Justin's physiology textbooks. Aaron chewed a sandwich and looked from one to the other.

After a few minutes, Danny asked, "Did your mom text back?"

Aaron checked his phone. "Yes. He was 6'1", she thinks. She's 5'7" and three quarters."

"Ok, then," Danny said. "The formula is the mom's height plus 5 inches plus the father's height, all divided by two."

Danny pretended to look at the textbook. "According to my calculations, you'll reach your full height at eleven feet, four inches. He peered at Aaron in disbelief. "Wait! That's for a giraffe. You're a human, right?"

"Yes."

"We could take you to the clinic and x-ray your bone plates," Danny said.

"That's a negative, Daniel," Justin said. "I don't think your uncle would approve." He turned to Aaron and asked, "When did you start puberty?"

"I was fifteen," Aaron responded.

"Later than most," Justin said. "That's good for our purposes. Has your scrotum turned darker?"

Aaron gave him a startled look.

"Seriously," Justin said.

"No."

"What about penis growth?"

"Um...," Aaron said.

"Let _me_ answer that," Danny said. He sat up, facing forward and rested his head on one hand. He made the slightest movements of his mouth and jaw.

Justin watched him attentively. "Well?"

"I'd say so."

"Length or width?"

"Both, but mainly length," Danny said seriously.

"Fascinating," Justin said. "I think he's still in Stage 3."

He had Aaron repeat the numbers his mother had texted. "I'll double check the Growth Stage Calculator..."

"How's it look, Jay," Danny asked.

Justin turned his screen to Danny. Danny glanced at it and then nodded to his friend. Then Justin said, "Congratulations, Larkin. You haven't finished your adolescent growth spurt. You get to look forward to two more years of moodiness and acne, more body hair, wider shoulders and probably another two inches in height."

***

At their next opportunity to be alone, on Friday before dinner, Danny happened to be kissing and licking Aaron. He started at his inner thighs, progressed to his balls and cock and then moved upward to his navel and nipples. Aaron was broadcasting his pleasure with moans and sighs. Suddenly Danny raised his face to Aaron's. "Dude, you _have_ grown. This didn't use to take as long."

"Sorry."

"I wasn't complaining. It's just more of you to love."

# CHAPTER 39

Back in June, when Danny told Justin about the promise rings, they had talked about what it meant and what the future held for Danny. A month later, during one of their best friends' dates, Danny and Justin returned to the subject.

While playing _Monster Hunter_ on Justin's couch, Danny said, "I'm going to ask Aaron to move in with me."

"I thought you already did that."

"Yeah, well, no. That was an offer if he got kicked out by his family for coming out. This is the real thing. I want us to live together."

"That's pretty serious."

"I know."

Justin paused the video game. "And then what?"

"You mean, in the future?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I guess...I mean I know what it means, Jay. Sometime, if everything is going well and I'm sure he'll say yes, I'll get down on one knee and ask Aaron to marry me. We'll be engaged for a year. Aaron and my mom will plan the whole ceremony. My parents will pay for everything and send us off on a great honeymoon and then my dad will start hinting at grandkids."

"Wow, man. You've thought this through."

"It's pretty clear."

"Your future is kind of carved up there on a national monument."

"I know. It's weird," Danny said. "Remember before when we talked about the promise rings, I was still feeling a little odd about the idea of single life being completely over for me?"

"Yeah. You have to get used to the idea of never having sex with another guy."

"It means an end to the way you've thought about sex and dating since you were a kid. No opportunities or even fantasies of meeting new sexual partners. Before, you'd see a hot guy and think, hey, we could go home and fuck. Not anymore."

"That's not really hard for you, is it Danny?"

"No. It was just a shock to have things change so much. I'm not the same person I was in college, Justin. Now that I'm with Aaron, I can't imagine ever having sex with anyone else."

"Hey, it's love, right?"

"Yeah." Danny smiled and tapped his friend's arm. "Listen to this. I can't even fool around in my dreams."

"What?" Justin asked, starting to smile.

"Right. A couple of times in the last few months I'll be having one of those dreams where I'm with some really hot guy. I'm excited and about to, you know... The guy starts to reach for my dick and I pull away because it wouldn't be right because I belong to Aaron. Both times I shook my head so hard it woke me up."

"So you didn't..."

"No. I wake up with a hard-on and _a lot of_ pressure, you know."

Justin extended his hand to Danny. "Fuck, dude. You might as well ask Aaron to move in then. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Jay."

They hugged. After a few seconds, they pretended to push each other away in disgust.

Justin said, "Hey, Danny. I hope you're not dreaming about me."

"Sorry, my friend. Remember? Tried it, liked it but something was missing."

"Yeah. I felt the same way. I dreamed about you once when we were fifteen. I fucked you and you were great. You really put out."

"That _was_ a dream."

***

On the first Wednesday of August, Aaron would start his two-day freshman orientation along with the other undeclared majors. The night before, after work, Danny drove them to the best Mexican restaurant in their part of Sacramento. He knew Aaron suspected something because Danny had to tell him he had a reservation to keep him from planning anything else. Danny didn't know what Aaron expected but from his eager expression, it was clear he thought he was going to hear something he liked. Danny didn't waste any time. While they were still eating chips and salsa and looking over the menu, Danny asked the question.

He took Aaron's hand in his and leaned toward him with a smile. "Aaron, I want to spend every possible minute with you. Will you move in with me?"

His mother would have called it, "short and sweet" but Danny hadn't planned a big lead up to the question. He was anxious to make his request. He definitely hadn't whispered it, either. Danny was not completely sure Aaron would say yes, so he was nervous. But, he was equally concerned Aaron would get carried away and get too sentimental. Aaron did the latter. His face lit up and he chortled like a happy toddler. It gave Danny a warm feeling.

A heterosexual middle-aged couple seated in the booth opposite them looked their way. The woman had been watching them earlier. She whispered something to her husband and then they both raised their margarita glasses and tipped their heads to Danny and Aaron. Danny bowed to them and said "thank you."

Aaron got a little teary. He apologized. Danny told him to be a man. They laughed.

"I'm going to get some tonight," Danny bragged to Aaron in a whisper. "Now I wish I'd asked you at home. You'd be bent over the couch right now, buddy."

"Yeah," Aaron agreed.

***

Aaron didn't worry about it that night, but the next day he began planning what he would say when he told his grandparents and mother. How would his grandfather react? Would it mean the end of his financial support? Aaron had already chosen his classes and would be registered before he told them. _If Grandad cuts off the money_ , Aaron decided, _Danny will have to support me._ He was comfortable with that possibility now.

***

The roommates-to-be told Danny's family at Sunday afternoon dinner.

Ernesto, Brian and the two youngest Quintanas were already seated at the table with Aaron and Danny. Enrique and Leticia were bringing the last platters of food. Everyone else was quite supportive but Danny's sisters Emily and Amy pretended to be less optimistic.

"I'm not sure I approve of you living in sin," the youngest, twenty-year-old Amy, said.

"Neither do I," middle sister Emily seconded.

Amy had more to say. "And you know, Danny, Aaron might not buy the cow if he's getting the milk for free. I'm just saying...the family is concerned."

"Um... hermanita...it doesn't work that way with gay guys."

"No?" she asked doubtfully.

"It's _always_ free with us." He gave her an all-knowing smirk. "There's a giant, I mean _gigante_ , surplus. It's like a big dairy that..."

Their father intervened. "Stop bragging, hijo," he said.

"Too much information?"

"Yes. How would you like me to tell you how great your mom and I..."

"Ok, Pop. I get it," Danny said with a grin.

Leticia came behind Aaron's chair and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "We're very happy for you both, cariño," she said.

# CHAPTER 40

"Aaron, there are some challenges that children of alcoholics take into adult life. You will move them with you from one address to the next just like you take your socks and underwear and videogames. You don't mean to pack them but somehow they get carried to your next place. I need you to talk about how your grandfather's disease affected you."

It might be my imagination, but I think Angela is becoming more adamant. Is she losing patience with me?

It was his eleventh session in Dr. Card's cheery office in Amador Hall. She had been considerate enough to reschedule his weekly appointments during the two weeks of conditioning camp so that after the three hour morning program, he could go from the men's gym showers directly to her office and then go to work. Today, all Aaron really wanted to talk about was moving out of his grandfather's home and into Danny's.

"I understand," Aaron said. _She is determined to probe and push and expose._ "It's just that I don't remember it all that well. It was mostly just Grandad's way of thinking that was the problem. I didn't do well in sports. Maybe he sensed I was gay. I guess he wasn't happy. Yeah, I blamed myself for that. I'd always seen him with a drink in his hand. I never made a connection with what was happening to me."

"We're going to modify the homework assignment. I want you to think about the drinking and who else it affected and who might have witnessed it. You are going to talk to someone who was there and write about it."

At that moment, Aaron wanted to quit therapy. _Yes, it's therapy. I've been calling it counseling because I thought that sounded less serious._ Of course, he would never quit. He couldn't disappoint Angela. _Oh, fuck!_ _When am I going to tell Danny about Grandad being an alcoholic? But he doesn't drink now. Why do I have to?_

***

On a brighter note, cross-country conditioning camp is going great.

It was twenty minutes to noon on this summer weekday. Aaron left the campus after his session with Angela, headed for work. He took his mind off the whole COA fiasco by reminding himself of the reason for optimism about his chances with the team. The Sacramento State coach had spoken to him every day this week and he seemed, maybe not encouraging, but less discouraging than he had been when Aaron met him in July. Aaron had felt great and performed well at every drill they put him through.

Aaron had also found a friend among the other runners taking the two-week course. On the first day, a guy Aaron had known five years ago in his days with the Buffalo Chips running club re-introduced himself. Tall, skinny Noah gave Aaron a compliment, kidded him and then tended to stay with him through every drill and exercise. He had Aaron laughing whenever their respiration rate allowed and just an hour into the first day's activities, he casually came out to Aaron.

Noah's experience had been one hundred percent positive. His parents joined PFLAG when he came out at age thirteen and last year they happened to introduce him to the college student who had been his boyfriend ever since.

Noah made the training a lot of fun. He gave Aaron a nickname. It pleased Aaron. It sounded so affectionate when Noah called him "A."

# CHAPTER 41

Two days after they shared the news with Danny's family, Aaron showed up at his grandparents' home an hour before dinner time when he knew he would find the three members of his immediate family in the living room. This time, he sat comfortably on the couch. He did not focus on Grandad but instead made sure he addressed all three. (Or four if you count Daisy who watched him with great interest from her perch on Grandma's lap.)

"I told you before that I have a boyfriend," Aaron began.

Grandad looked wary. _He thinks I'm going to talk about sex,_ Aaron thought.

"Well it's been going really well for almost six months and he asked me to move in with him and I said yes. I hope..." Aaron paused to remember what he planned. "Well, I'm really happy about it and I hope you'll be happy for me."

"And I _hope_ you know what you're getting into," Grandad said.

He almost sounded kind.

"It's a lot easier to date someone than to live with them," Grandad said. "Ask your grandmother."

_Did Grandad just make a joke?_ No one laughed but Aaron thought his grandmother's dimple was about to show, the one that came with her smile.

"When are you planning it?" Grandad asked.

"The weekend after next. There's not much to move."

"Ok. We'll stay out of your way."

***

Grandad's last statement didn't make much sense until a couple of days later when Grandad informed Aaron that he and Aaron's grandmother would be traveling to Carmel on the California coast the weekend of the move. His mother worked every Saturday so Aaron realized he would be leaving an empty house.

***

The week after Aaron and Danny announced they would move in together, Danny's father, in casual conversations with his wife and his gay brothers-in-law, raised the idea of the boys getting married. "Too early, of course, but it's a real possibility, isn't it?" he asked them. When everyone agreed, he asked about gay couples having children and later he had Ernesto and Brian tell him what they knew about surrogate mothers and in vitro fertilization. "How much does it cost?" he asked them. They didn't know that.

Leticia and her brother didn't ask but they each independently suspected that Enrique wanted any children that might come from Aaron's sperm to be related to him. They wondered which daughter, niece or cousin he would ask to donate the egg. Leticia tried to discourage him from thinking too far ahead. Nevertheless, he did raise the marriage issue with Daniel and was apparently satisfied with his son's answer. Daniel didn't tell him it was not his business; none of Enrique and Leticia's offspring would ever think anything about their lives should not be subject to their parents' comment and advice. Danny did point out that Aaron was too young at eighteen to enter a lifelong commitment.

***

Week two of the conditioning camp had been going just as well as the previous one. The head coach conducted every three hour session but he still found time to speak personally to many of the runners, including, every day so far, Aaron. The assistant coach took an even greater interest in Aaron's training. He offered a lot of specific advice and encouraged him about his future with the program, explaining that it wasn't necessarily "all or nothing" as far as making the team was concerned. He certainly acted like he and his boss saw enough potential in Aaron to spend so much time with him.

Aaron may have set himself back today though. It wasn't a coincidence that this happened on the day of his twelfth counseling session with Angela.

His first words that morning were, "You fucking asshole." The self-addressed epithet sprung from his lips as he slammed the alarm clock. He earned it for staying up until one o'clock to do a whole week's worth of homework. Aaron was still upset with himself from last night. He never did that kind of thing...procrastinating, but he knew why in this case. He was still trying to hide what his childhood was really like. Putting it off to the last minute meant he had to leave Danny's house early and then had stayed up and now he didn't want to get out of bed for his conditioning camp, but of course he would.

He had e-mailed it to her last night. _And now she's got what I did and she's reading it and she's knows it's a piece of shit._

***

"Hey dude, what happened to you the last two miles?" Noah stuck his head around the corner of his locker to catch Aaron, exhausted and sodden with sweat, coming into the men's shower facility after the 10K that concluded today's training program. He beckoned for Aaron to stop.

Aaron leaned against Noah's corner locker. He smiled. Noah stood before him naked after drying off from his shower.

"Oh, sorry," Noah kidded. "Pardon me." He pulled on a pair of tight white briefs. "Anyway, why were you so slow today?"

"I hit the wall. I started out too fast, I guess."

Noah shook his head. "Dude, you were behind me all the way and I was going at a steady pace."

"Well, I didn't get to bed until one last night. It just caught up with me."

Noah nodded solemnly. "Oh. So long as it wasn't anything _I_ said."

"No," Aaron answered with a weak chuckle.

"Good. _Then get some fucking sleep!_ "

"Thanks, buddy. I didn't think of that."

Noah had his jeans on now. He took his wallet from his back pocket and opened it to show a photo. "Look, A. It's my Cuddle Bear."

"Handsome guy," Aaron said with a confirming nod. "Congratulations."

"I know, right?" Noah beamed at Aaron. "You guys should go out with us sometime."

"Definitely," Aaron responded. "But we'll have to wait until things slow down. I'm getting ready for a move next week. Danny and I are going to live together."

"Wow! Great! That's a big fucking deal, A. Call me afterwards. You guys can come to my surprise birthday party."

"Yeah. Got to go, Noah. I'm going to be late for work."

That was just a white lie. Aaron was going to be late for his appointment with Angela if he didn't move fast. There was no time for a shower. Instead, he pulled his cargo shorts on over his running shorts, exchanged his singlet for his tee-shirt, grabbed his backpack and set off running across campus to the Psychology Department.

***

"You look weary."

"You couldn't just say 'tired', Angela? Weary sounds so much worse. I was up late last night."

"Not doing your homework assignment, as far as I could tell."

Of course, that was what Aaron _had_ stayed up working on. But he knew what she meant. Most of what he had written had not made it into the e-mail. "I'm sorry."

Angela leaned forward in her chair. "I didn't read much of it."

"What else can I say? No one ever hit me. I was not molested. Every day of my life I've had food, clothing and a home. My mother maybe doesn't really _love_ me, but she _likes_ me. I was a burden to my grandmother and the most important person in my childhood thought I was a giant disappointment and an embarrassment. I thought that everybody went through something like that until I lived with the people in Costa Rica. So now I know better and yes, I have to admit I used to get depressed."

Angela studied him with obvious interest. "You're more talkative than usual Aaron but you still are misleading me and yourself, too, I think. Maybe it's not conscious but we've agreed on what you need to do and that is to remember and talk about what really happened."

"But Angela..." Aaron heard the pitch of his voice rise. It sounded like a kid about to try to talk his way out of trouble.

"Aaron, I want you to say what's on your mind and not worry about how it sounds or what anyone else will think. This is the time and place for you to take that opportunity. Aaron, for once in your life, tell _your_ truth. Share with me exactly what _you_ are feeling."

"I'll tell you what I'm feeling...this is out of control." He placed his hands on each side of his head. "First it's depression and so I have to come here and find new ways to think about things. And then it's self-esteem and bullying to talk about. Then David makes me tell you about Grandad's drinking and so now I need to join a group to address that problem." His voice had risen in volume but then he changed to a quiet monotone. "And now today, I'm tired and feel like shit and you want the whole truth."

"Yes. Give yourself that freedom."

"That's it, isn't it? _My Truth._ Well, My Truth is that every _fucking_ day of my life I heard how I need to catch the ball to be a man. Well, I wasn't a man then and I'm not one now. At my little league game or soccer or whatever he'd be screaming from the sidelines or sometimes come right up to the playing field. 'Keep your eye on the ball, kid. Show some hustle. Don't let him get away with that. Son, keep your god damn eyes open. Don't be a... _baby_ , Aaron.' (I knew Grandad wanted to say sissy, wuss maybe even fag, but he'd just swallow those words and call me a baby in front of two teams full of nine-year-olds.) 'Don't be a coward, fight back!'

"Then there was, 'Oh my god. You throw like a girl!'" Aaron paused and looked at Angela calmly. "No. To his credit, Grandad never said that. It was my mom."

Angela gave him a sympathetic shrug.

"I know, right?" Aaron said with a slight laugh. "I would hear all that in my head every night when I was going to sleep. Thank god for David and Ethan and Jordan and any day he would go to their games instead of mine. Sometimes he would do my coaches a favor and just pull me off a team in the middle of the season. That's when I'd end up going with him to my cousins' games. He was so proud of them. 'Tough competitors, great little ballplayers.' And the way he said it, the whole family new it was aimed at me. 'Aaron tries, Dad,' my aunt or uncle or someone would say while we all sat in the bleachers watching the real Larkin males show what they were made of. 'No he doesn't,' Grandad would say.'

"It was maybe a few years later but I was still young and in elementary school. Every afternoon at home after I'd finished a game or practice in whatever sport he'd signed me up for, it would start. 'Just some constructive criticism,' or 'I'm teaching you, Aaron,' and then as he drank it would become taunting and baiting me to talk back. And then 'why are you upset?' And soon, it wasn't just my problems in sports that infuriated him. It was me. The way I was. 'Look at David. He's all-boy.' Eventually he would go back into his office. I'd see him at dinner and he'd be really quiet and look angry and I'd try not to act like that boy he despised or say anything with my girlish voice and a lisp or a sibilant 's' or put my hand on my hip or cross my leg the wrong way. Then he'd go back in his office and I wouldn't see him until the next afternoon.'

"Thank god I discovered cross country and track. I'd get away from all of it for a few hours every day. But then he'd have it saved up for when I did get home. I'm trying to help get ready for dinner, then have dinner and then try to help clean up. But he had things he wanted to say. He was getting worse by then. I got good grades, kept my room perfect and did my chores but I always heard how I had to walk differently and talk differently.'

"And then when you are home, don't even try to watch a TV show because it started to be 'look at that dancer' or there was someone on the news or a character on a show and it was, 'His parents must be ashamed.' It was _so_ important that I know that no marine ever walked like that and firemen don't sound like that.'

"My relatives would tell him he should go to my running meets but he would say, 'Who wants to watch a race? Aaron's not going to win, we know that.'"

"Before I left for Costa Rica, I _had_ won some races but he never saw. By then I started to hear, 'Look at that queer.' Not about me but there was always some guy he saw somewhere who set him off. That was new. He'd never used that word before."

He stopped to take a drink of water and calm down as much as he could. Dr. Card remained silent.

"It doesn't feel like a long time ago, Angela," Aaron said now, sadly. "Yeah, he's quit drinking, but so what? He still hates me and it doesn't change anything. If somebody doesn't believe what I say happened or they want to lie about it, they just need to ask David or Michelle or her parents. They saw it, not every day like I lived it, but they asked about it sometimes and we talked about it. David started trying to cheer me up when I was eight, can you believe it? A ten-year-old who was a better father than anyone else in my life."

Angela waited a few seconds after he finished. She said, "Aaron, for the first time, with me anyway, you are expressing your anger. It _was_ abuse. Emotional abuse and in this case it was focused on one unlucky child. I'm not going to help you relax and calm down just yet. I'm going to congratulate you for calling up the courage to face what happened. Yes, as you say, it could have been worse. Thank god it wasn't and that is a positive for our expectation of the benefit you will receive from therapy. The biggest positive though is you. Like I've said all along, these symptoms are only moderately high. You were also moderately successful in dealing with them on your own. You have been getting by but we can promise you a chance to improve and get more out of life."

Aaron leaned back in his chair. He realized his heart was pounding and his breathing was only now beginning to return to a normal rate.

"Before we talk about your homework for next week, Aaron, I want to know, when you said you were not a man today, what did that mean?"

He bit his lip and sighed. "It's hard to feel like you're a man when the whole world tells you you're not because you're gay. I can't just blame Grandad for that. It's half the fucking people in the world who want to say we're not as good as them because they were lucky enough to be born straight. Well, Danny's a man. They can't say he isn't. And if he's a man, so are the rest of us whether they like it or not."

"You are absolutely right," Angela said firmly. "We'll want to talk about this some more but I'm glad for what you said. Not just for gay men, either."

# CHAPTER 42

_Maybe Angela should have told me to relax and calm down,_ Aaron thought, because he left the counseling session upset and angry. He was also reflective and more self-aware than he thought he had ever been.

In the parking structure, in the station wagon, while he finally changed the sweaty shoes he had run fifteen miles in today, Aaron listened to a voice mail from Nora.

"I need you to stop at Leticia's for some accounting records, sweetie."

"I can't get a fucking break!" Aaron said aloud in the car. It would be hard to face his boyfriend's mother, whom he adored, feeling like this. Then he imagined receiving Leticia's sympathy and her comforting hug and thought how that would cheer him up.

"You wuss!" he whispered with a laugh.

***

"I'm in the kitchen, Aaroncito," Leticia shouted when she heard him call her name through the front door screen. The tall, slim young man walked through the family room to the kitchen. She expected his customary shy, excited and friendly expression but today it was an enigmatic smile she saw on his face.

She stood and hugged him and asked, "Cómo estás, joven?" Before he could respond she said, "Oh, you're so warm." Then she pulled away from him, but still held him by his biceps. "What's the matter Aaron?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"You look like you've been through a battle. Today was counseling day, wasn't it?"

"No...well, yes, but it was conditioning camp before. That's why I look like this. I mean, I'm tired from that."

"Honey, did you miss your shower today?"

Aaron gave her a worried look. "Um, yes. I took too long to run my 10K and then I didn't have time before counseling. Is it really bad?"

"No. It's just the smell of a young male whose been sweating a lot. I raised three boys, dear. It's quite familiar. But, you need to shower and change clothes before it gets any worse."

"These are my clothes. I just put my shorts on over my running shorts and changed my shirt."

"Well, get in the shower. I'll find something for you to wear and then we'll have lunch." She took him by the hand and led him out of the kitchen to the hall. They passed Danny's old bedroom and then she took him into the bathroom. "There are towels and washcloths in the cabinet, dear. I'll get some of Danny's old clothes for you."

Leticia made a phone call, put leftover chow mein in the microwave and then went to Danny's room where she searched the dresser. She found underwear and shorts and a tee shirt that she thought Danny had probably worn when he was twelve. He had been shorter at that age than Aaron was now but just as slim and she knew they would fit. She went to her husband's drawer for a pair of white crew socks.

She tapped on the door to the bathroom and, hearing the water was still running, entered and placed the clothes on the counter. "Here's your change of clothes, hijo," she called to him.

Ten minutes later, Aaron came into the kitchen wearing the blue cargo shorts and a pale green shirt that she remembered Danny in from a summer so long ago. The shorts were looser around the waist but Aaron filled them out more in the seat than Danny had. He looked refreshed and, she noted, he smelled quite good.

Aaron was surprised to see Leticia's brother-in-law with her at the kitchen table.

"You thought I looked so bad you called Brian?" Aaron asked as he approached Danny's uncle to exchange a hug.

"Yes. And he needed lunch anyway."

"Hi, Aaron," Brian said cheerfully. "I was working at home so it was a short trip. How are you?"

Aaron opened his mouth but couldn't seem to find the words. He shrugged, looking like a student who had been stumped by a difficult question.

"You do look a bit dazed, buddy," Brian said.

"That's what I thought," Leticia agreed. "Come, sit down and I'll get you some juice."

Aaron did as he was told. He sat at the end of the table, his back to the sunny window. "Well, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night..." He threw his hands in the air. "It was counseling. Oh, Leticia, as soon as I parked the car, I felt so...I'm sorry to be so negative. It's just that I've got so many psychological problems that I'll never be a fit match for Danny."

He froze and looked at each of them and then shook his head forcefully. "No. That's not what I meant to say. It's not true...I mean, yeah, he could find somebody without all my problems but..."

Leticia placed her arm around his shoulder. "They couldn't love him as much as you. Tell us what happened, hijo."

"I'm not really upset," Aaron said. "It's just that this is going to take forever."

"What is?"

"Counseling...I mean therapy. There's something else. Something you don't know. It turns out I'm a COA. That's what we're called...children of alcoholics. There's a whole list of problems that a kid growing up with an alcoholic ends up with. You know all about it, right, Brian?"

Brian nodded. "Every therapist works with children of alcoholics of all ages. Aaron, tell us what's going on with you."

He sighed. "COA's are prone to depression, self-esteem issues, control issues... Who does that sound like? They usually blame themselves for their parent's drinking, but not me. I blamed myself for all the negative effects of his drinking. Of course, if I'd known, I would have blamed myself for the drinking too. It's almost funny, isn't it?"

"It's human nature," Brian said. "Your grandfather is an alcoholic?"

"Yes. Just him. Well, I don't know, maybe my mother too. She goes out a lot and she always has something to drink. My grandmother doesn't really drink very much."

"In your situation, you were also a gay child in a world that still isn't completely accepting...you had to face an extra set of challenges."

"Yeah..." Aaron said, drawing out the word and rolling his eyes. "You could say that. Angela is talking about the expanded counseling services that I'll need."

"Group therapy, support groups?" Brian asked.

"Right," Aaron said with a scowl.

"You'll find they'll do you a lot of good, Aaron. Let me ask you, what signals did you get from your grandparents and mother about your sexuality?"

Leticia watched and listened as Brian helped Aaron unburden himself.

"I lucked out in two ways. It wasn't only an alcoholic situation but also a homophobic one." He described how his grandfather had treated him and how it had worsened over the years. As Angela had explained it, his grandfather had been a functioning alcoholic all Aaron's life and the effect of his disease combined with his homophobia greatly increased the negative effect on Aaron. Like most children of alcoholics, Aaron blamed himself for his grandfather's behavior. "It's actually easier to tell the second time," he said as he finished.

"It was emotional abuse, Aaron. You are not alone, but it does sound more severe because you were a gay child."

Aaron looked down at the table. "I'm sorry to bring so much that's negative into your home and family, Ma," he said to Leticia. "I promise to work on it like I should have been doing all along. It's just that I really wanted to just get it over with and start living my life with Danny and going to college but now I have so much I know I have to take care of. That's really all that was bothering me, today. Everything else I've been living with forever."

"Aaron, I'll share something that should encourage you," Brian said. "You really are better off psychologically than most people in your situation. I think, as a child and a teen, you gave yourself some do-it-yourself therapy. For you, running was like meditation with its controlled breathing and the mind-clearing nature of strenuous physical exercise. And you found people who would help you feel loved and secure: David, Michelle and her parents, your teachers. Yes, you clearly did not come out of it unscathed but I think you can complete the healing process successfully and it won't take forever. It will be worth it though because you know life will hand you some setbacks and disappointments. The therapy will help you face the future without blaming yourself, getting depressed and stressing about things you can't change."

Aaron exhaled and gave them a weak smile. "Thanks, Brian. You've helped me feel a lot better."

"I see another benefit," Leticia offered. "After you work through this, you'll be ready to be a better parent to kids of your own."

Aaron broke into a wide smile. "I think you know me better than anyone, Leticia."

She returned his smile and said, "Before I bring out lunch, there is something else I'd like to tell you, Aaron, as someone who cares about you and your relationship with Danny."

"Ok," Aaron said tentatively.

"It's about how being in the closet costs a person the freedom that comes from being honest. I watched it with my own brother before he finally met Brian and realized he had to tell us the truth about himself. When you believe you have to lie, it's understandable but it has a cost. It uses up so much energy and it hurts relationships. After a person comes out, he should realize that from then on he can be truthful with the people in his life for their good and his own."

He looked at her thoughtfully.

"Aaron, you need to tell Danny about what you went through," Leticia said. "People need to be honest with the person they love."

He nodded slowly. He looked at Brian who gave him a confirming nod.

"I promise I'll come clean with Danny. I'll tell him everything," Aaron said, looking happy now. "Talk about coming out of the closet...I'm a child of an alcoholic who also was and still is homophobic, I'm insecure and I'm a perfectionist control freak. Can I just hide one thing from him, Leticia?"

"What's that dear?"

"Let's not tell him I called you 'Ma'. It slipped out. I don't have the right to do it, yet. After we're engaged, then I'll start."

Leticia laughed. "He wouldn't mind and I loved hearing it...but I know what you mean. I can wait a little longer, but I'm still going to call you 'hijo.'"

"Hey, you know, if I am damaged goods and Danny rejects me, I'll have to move in with you."

"Papi and I would welcome you with open arms," Leticia said.

# CHAPTER 43

In the days before the move, the young couple's lives were more full of activity than ever. Because of his uncle's two week summer vacation, Danny put in extra hours each weekday and Saturday. After the conditioning camp ended, Aaron returned to full time at the clinic. They would go directly from work to Danny's home where they would have dinner, do a few chores and relax for a few hours before Aaron left for home. He continued his morning training with Coach Shirley and, any day, was hoping to hear something positive from the Sacramento State Cross Country coaching staff about the new season.

Aaron was not dragging his feet on his promise to Leticia that he would tell Danny about his counseling; he just had other priorities. Accordingly, when he had time alone with Danny the evening of his lunch with Leticia and Brian, he scheduled his confession. "I want to tell you what's going on in counseling, but it's a long story. Can we talk about it next week?"

Danny agreed.

In spite of what he had rediscovered about his childhood in counseling, Aaron had absolutely no intention of confronting his immediate family about the past. At least he had talked about that with Angela. As far as he was concerned, his issue with them was his coming out and as part of that now, it was his choice to move out of the home they had provided for the last fourteen years. Aaron had one more item on his agenda that involved his family and he wasn't going to be diverted from it. His grandparents were not going to get out of town without facing another potentially dramatic family meeting.

Five days before the planned move out date, in the kitchen, Grandma was finishing the dinner prep, Dawn sat at the kitchen table after setting the dining room table and Grandad unloaded groceries. Aaron had them all there in the one relatively small room.

"I want to bring Danny over for dinner," Aaron told them.

"Your boss?" Grandad asked. He seemed open to the idea.

"He's my boyfriend."

Grandad did not hide his amazement. "Oh? I...uh...you never said."

"What? Does he seem too masculine to be gay?" Aaron asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes. I never would have guessed."

Aaron raised his voice. "But you had no trouble believing it about me?"

His tone shocked everyone, including himself. Grandad, his grandmother and his mother were confused.

"You surprised us too, dear, remember," Aaron's grandmother said.

Aaron realized his reaction said more about his own attitudes than his family's. "I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense," he conceded.

Grandad said to bring Danny the next night. Aaron made a mental note to talk to Angela about still another issue.

***

When he showed up at the Larkins' door, Danny had changed from his work clothes into a more stylish shirt and pants and had combed his hair differently so that it fell more in his face. He also wore the same brand of sneakers Aaron had on. The overall affect was that Danny looked young. Aaron knew that was Leticia's work. She didn't want Aaron's grandparents to think Danny was some mature guy who had seduced their grandson.

("But, Ma," Danny had said, "That's the way it was. I did seduce him and I am mature."

"No you didn't. And no you aren't. You're both twinks."

That had caught Danny, Aaron and the sisters Amy and Emily by surprise. They didn't know she knew the term. She called them all dumbbells and informed them, "That's been around since your grandparents' day.")

Leticia's ploy seemed to work. The Larkins welcomed Danny to their home graciously. More than once in the conversation, they referred to Danny and Aaron as _boys_.

They settled in the living room for their pre-dinner conversation. Grandad and Grandma were on the couch. Aaron in the rocking chair to their left and Danny in an oversized leather arm chair across from them. Daisy chose to sit with Danny. She approached him, sat by his leg and whined until he signaled her to jump into his lap. She curled up, placed her head on her front paws and looked at Aaron.

The main purpose of the dinner was for Charles and Nancy to get to know Danny. Aaron remained mostly silent as Grandad and surprisingly, Grandma, peppered Danny with questions.

"Where did you go to school?" Charles asked.

"UC Davis, undergraduate and veterinary school."

Nancy said, "Thank you for taking care of Daisy. Do you have any pets?"

"Just a turtle at my parents' house."

"Were you born in California?" Grandad asked.

"Yes, in Sacramento."

"Your family owns an orchard. I suppose there was a lot of hard work for you and your brothers?" Charles asked.

"Oh, yes, but just certain times of the year. Pop loves sports so we always had time for that and school was important to my parents. Ma wanted us to read, you know a book a week. I only managed about one a month. There wasn't much time allowed for TV or video games when I was growing up."

"You come from a large family, I know. Are there five or six of you?" Nancy asked, referring to his siblings.

"Six. Three of each."

"And is it just your one sister who is married."

"No. The oldest boy is also married. Both my sister and sister-in-law are pregnant."

"What about you Danny," Nancy asked. "Do you have a girlfriend?" She smiled pleasantly.

Danny looked confused, like he thought he needed a translator or a lawyer. Aaron was amazed. Nancy waited for an answer to her innocent question.

"Good lord, woman!" Charles said. It took Nancy a second and then she blushed and said, "Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. I..."

"Right," Charles said.

"No problem," Danny said.

"You can serve dinner now, Nancy," Charles said sternly.

At the dinner table, Aaron had just one item on his agenda. It was convenient that his mother was working, because he wanted to thank his grandparents for raising him. "I know you two did all the work and had to pay for everything and it wasn't easy. I'm grateful."

He heard himself and realized he didn't really sound all that grateful.

Grandad didn't sound any more sincere when he said, "You're welcome."

Charles was most curious how Danny happened to be a veterinarian at such a young age. Danny explained that he had gained college credits during summers and his senior year in high school and had gone to summer school every year in college.

"I always took a full load of classes," Danny said. "Thanks to my parents, I never had to work, other than the time at my uncle's clinic to put in the volunteer hours I needed to get into veterinary school."

"And you got good grades, didn't you?" Grandad suggested.

Danny nodded. "I love the whole field, the sciences and the math, you know."

"I was a good student," Grandad said. "Although, I _did_ have to work full-time." He smiled and added, "My wife has a master's in mathematics. Aaron has always earned good grades too."

Aaron pondered his last sentence. _Apparently, Grandad thinks I'm a better catch than I thought. And, oh my god, he approves of Danny, sort of._

"I know Aaron is very smart," Danny said with a smile. "That's one of the things that attracted me to him."

_Uh oh!_ Aaron said to himself. _Don't mention my ass, Danny._

Grandad changed the subject. He asked Danny what sports he played in school. Before long, they were talking about basketball and football. Aaron was grateful that Grandad did not say a word about Aaron's history on the playing field.

The evening ended fairly early, but of course, Aaron and Danny had work tomorrow. When Grandad and Grandma walked them to the door, she took Aaron's left hand in hers and patted it. Her index finger touched and lingered over the promise ring. She said to Aaron, "We love you very much dear."

"Thanks. I love you too," Aaron said as he hugged her.

She looked at the other young man and repeated the action with his hand and matching ring. With a tender smile, she said, "We'll grow to love you too, Danny."

# CHAPTER 44

After his participation at the Sacramento State cross-country team conditioning camp, Aaron was accepted onto the team but as a _redshirted_ freshman, meaning he could train with the team but would not compete and it would not count as a year of _eligibility_. (College athletes are only eligible to compete for four years.) The coach's reasoning: Aaron had missed his entire senior year of high school, the team already had enough returning members and he believed, since Aaron was still growing, he could contribute more to the team in a fifth year than he could the coming season. The coach also said there was an excellent chance of a scholarship next year if Aaron continued to progress at his current pace.

Aaron was satisfied. He saw a collegiate running career stretching in front of him for the next five years with cross country in the fall, indoor track in the winter, and outdoor track in the spring. Summer would be a break from competition when he would concentrate on building his strength for cross country.

***

On the Thursday before the planned move in date, in Danny's townhouse, the couple had a chicken and rice dinner that Aaron prepared from Leticia's recipe. They remained at the table after cleaning up so that Aaron could present the counseling update he had promised the week before. Aaron told him everything about the emotional abuse of his childhood and his complicated diagnosis. As he spoke, he recognized that he wasn't recounting the story with the same emotion he had the first two times, when he had told Angela and then later Brian and Danny's mother. Mainly, he felt embarrassed that his family had this problem and that he had tried to hide it, especially from Danny.

Danny was surprised and sympathetic. "I'm glad we had our dinner with your grandparents before you told me. It would have been really awkward."

"Yeah. I guess I'll have to talk about it with them sometime but I'm in no hurry," Aaron said. He broke the news that he would probably have to join some group to address the effect on his life of being a COA.

"Whatever it takes, Aaron. I'm with you. I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

"I just feel sorry for the little boy. The man in front of you is doing fine."

"Good attitude."

"I promise I'll take care of it. Poor Angela has to figure out whether I should join a group that deals with LGBT, victims of bullying or teens from alcoholic families." Aaron looked to Danny for a reaction.

"Angela will make the right choice, Aaron," Danny said.

"Yeah, I know," Aaron said. "What I really want to know is how you feel about it?"

Danny looked at him with a smile. "I love you. I want you to be as happy as you can. None of what happened was your fault. I'm sorry any kid has to go through that kind of situation. You really seem like you handled it better than most people, but I know that you would try to put on a front to hide the pain so I want you to work with Angela for your sake. If you're worried about me, don't be. This could never affect the way I feel about you. I already know you're not perfect and I still love you. Hey, we're going to be living together. I'm optimistic about our future even though you'll soon learn I'm not perfect either. I'm pretty sure you'll handle that as well because, you know, Aaron, I've figured out that you are genetically-predisposed to be nice."

***

On the third Saturday in August, a week before classes would start at Sacramento State, Danny Quintana's home became Danny and Aaron's home.

The only other home Aaron had ever known was a silent and lonely place when he and Danny arrived to collect his few belongings. That home had known the sounds of his cousins' shouts and laughter; his grandmother's constant humming; Daisy's collar jangling, her toenails tapping on the tile floor and her very rare bark, and Grandad's constant stream of encouragement, coaching, criticism and badgering. Today's silence was strange for Aaron. He felt some regret and sadness but that was greatly surpassed by the sense that it was the time to end this stage of his life and the tremendous excitement of going to live with the person he loved.

There wasn't much to pack: no furniture, just his clothes, shoes, laptop and Kindle. They loaded the station wagon and then went back inside to feed the dog.

As they walked into the kitchen, Danny put his arm around Aaron. "Well?"

Aaron sighed. "Yeah. It wasn't all bad."

"No?"

"Grandma is a great cook. I can't tell you how hungry I used to get when I was training and growing at the same time last year."

"You're still growing and training and I've seen you eat three helpings of my mom's enchiladas. Got it. What else?"

"It was great that Michelle's family moved in when I was eight. Grandma sent me down to introduce myself and the next thing I knew I was out to dinner with the Durands. In the summer, I used to go to their house every day after I finished my chores. It didn't save me from having to play sports but it gave me some time away from the misery, at least."

"They are great people."

"Yeah. That was good but you know what the best part was? That I lived here when I met you. I think I'd been dreaming about you my whole life."

"Really?" Danny wasn't buying that.

That's my story, anyway," Aaron said with a laugh. "Maybe I wasn't just dreaming." He gave Danny a knowing smile.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, give Grandad credit for one thing. When he told me about sex, he said masturbation was healthy. At least I never had a problem with that. And, fortunately, he didn't tell me I couldn't fantasize about guys. That _really_ helped the time go by."

Aaron filled the dog's dish with dry food and then led Danny back to the front of the house. He knelt beside Daisy in the living room where she had watched the activity from her post in the antique Morris chair by the front window.

"I'm going to miss you, pooch," he said. He placed his cheek against her head as he hugged her. She licked his ear. "You really have been man's best friend, Daze. Take care of Grandma."

She gave them a single yap and wagged her tail.

# CHAPTER 45

After the long lunch break to pick up Aaron's possessions, Danny's boyfriend dropped him back at the clinic. Danny had four more hours of office visits with pets and their owners. Aaron would continue on to the townhouse for the easy job of unloading. Danny smiled to think of Aaron unpacking by himself. In the previous three evenings, Aaron had very systematically rearranged Danny's closet and dresser to accommodate the second set of clothes and shoes.

Soon after six o'clock, Danny strode into the kitchen from the garage holding red roses for his new housemate. Aaron had a surprise of his own for Danny. The adorable mop top had been transformed into a handsome young adult with his almost black hair now much shorter and trimmed neatly around the ears and neck and with a tidy part on the left side. To complete the transition, Aaron wore khaki slacks and a turquoise knit polo shirt.

"Wow!" Danny said, his wide grin mirroring Aaron's. "Very handsome. Did Michelle approve of the haircut?"

"Approve? No. But she went with me and she picked out the style. I wanted a change to go with my new life. Does it make me look older?"

"Oh, yes! You still have a youthful face but, yeah, you look older. Less cute, more sexy. I won't feel so guilty anymore when I..." Danny mouthed the words, " _fuck your ass._ "

Aaron pretended to be very solemn. "Excellent, Daniel," he said. Then he turned playful and asked, "Did you forget something?"

"No," Danny said. He laid the flowers on the table and reached for Aaron. He hugged him and gave him a long kiss and then said, "Welcome to our home."

Aaron sat at the kitchen table and pulled Danny into the chair next to him. He held Danny's hand.

"Thank you," he said. "Thanks for asking me to move in and thanks for sticking with me during the hard part. I made a lot of mistakes about us and I didn't realize how much I was bringing into our situation from my problems at home. I still can't believe how I misread everything. I'm grateful and I love you."

Danny moved his hands to grasp Aaron's. "I love you, Aaron, and I am really happy that you won't be leaving every night. This is your home."

They smiled and stared into each other's eyes.

"There are some things I want to tell you too, Aaron," Danny said. "This day is very important for you because you are leaving your home and your old life and starting college and you're doing it all with a guy you've only known for eight months. It's all really _major_. Well, it's also a big transition for me. I made mistakes too and I'm glad you stuck with me. You've grown up these last eight months but in a lot of ways I needed to catch up. Thanks for not giving up on me. I was afraid to fall in love and move into a real adult relationship. I know you were ready for this from the start and that scared me and I resisted and I'm sorry for ever allowing you to doubt us as a couple. Ma was right about us as soon as she met you."

"She likes me," Aaron said pretending to brag.

"She loves you," Danny said proudly. "You and I...we've both done a lot of growing up this year. I'm really grateful to Ma and Brian and Michelle and Justin and Matthew and Daisy and all the others for helping us get together and stay together."

"I feel the same way."

"There's one other thing," Danny said. "I really admire you, Aaron."

***

Just as they had on their first night together, both young men wanted to postpone dinner. Aaron followed Danny to their bedroom. He watched Danny turn on the stereo. Instantly, the romantic music of Lana Del Rey filled the room.

_Roses and Lana Del Rey...Thanks for planning this, Danny,_ Aaron thought.

After a few moments of kissing, they helped each other out of their clothes. Both completely naked then, Danny opened his arms for Aaron to move in for an embrace. He squeezed Aaron's ass. Aaron saw the desire in Danny's eyes that matched his own. He smelled the hand soap from the clinic, the Old Spice endurance deodorant that Danny used because it reminded him of his father and Danny's own scent enhanced by nine hours of work. It made Aaron lightheaded and caused the blood to surge to his groin.

They walked to the bed holding hands. Danny supported Aaron's shoulders as he backed him onto the center of the bed. He followed Aaron and positioned himself above him. He slid his body against Aaron's, his penis pushing up from Aaron's thighs onto the tip of his penis. Danny kissed him and stroked his arms. Aaron felt the maximum possible contact between their two bodies and each push between their cocks gave him a rush. Aaron looked into his partner's face. Danny conveyed a message with each movement.

When Danny touched Aaron's hip and pulled softly with his fingers, they rolled onto their sides and faced each other. Aaron took Danny's cock in his hands and for several minutes stroked it, sliding the foreskin up and over the tip and downward as far as it would go. Then Danny rolled onto his back and let Aaron move his head down to Danny's cock and balls for sucking and licking.

It was sex between two people who knew each other's bodies and responses. Aaron's actions elicited excited moans from Danny. They locked eyes while Aaron tongued Danny's foreskin and, with his lover's teasing smile, Aaron knew Danny appreciated how this delighted him.

Moments later, Danny guided Aaron onto his back again. Now he began pushing his tongue between Aaron's inner thighs and into his testicles. He moved his mouth up the shaft and sucked Aaron's entire length. It was an action he couldn't perform their first night together because it would have sent Aaron beyond the point of no return but now they both knew he could enjoy the intense stimulation without coming too soon.

Aaron had his eyes closed when he felt Danny's hands lift his hips. He slid a pillow under his rear. Danny raised Aaron's legs and placed his ankles on Danny's shoulders. Aaron heard the squeak of the lubricant dispenser and felt the cool gel inside his glutes.

"Can I enter you?" Danny asked.

Aaron opened his eyes. "My ass is yours," he responded earnestly. He was eager to have Danny inside him.

Danny smiled at him as he gently penetrated Aaron. Aaron felt no pain. Danny leaned in to kiss him and then began the in and out movement. It was slow at first but then he steadily increased the force of the thrusts. Soon Aaron felt Danny's pubic bone bump against his balls. Each thrust rocked Aaron's body and caused a thud of the headboard against the wall. Danny pounded Aaron energetically and there was no concern about time. They both knew Aaron could take it and was enjoying every plunge of Danny's cock into him.

Minutes later, when Danny pulled out and had Aaron turn over on his hands and knees, Aaron realized that Danny was following the same sequence as their first time together.

Danny reentered him from behind. He held his hips and drove into him. Aaron imagined Danny's face as it had been the first time they did this in front of a mirror. He had smiled with a triumphant, possessive expression. Recalling this now, Aaron grew even more excited. Danny shifted forward and grasped Aaron's shoulders firmly while he continued rocking into him.

_I belong to you,_ Aaron thought _._

"I love you," Danny whispered into his ear.

Aaron enjoyed hearing it but tonight it was redundant. Every touch by Danny communicated his love.

Danny guided Aaron as they rolled carefully onto their right sides without separating. He raised Aaron's left leg with his hand and resumed driving into him.

Moments later, they slid apart and Danny moved Aaron onto his back. Aaron opened his legs and Danny re-entered him. Danny remained still for several seconds while he kissed Aaron and once again whispered that he loved him. Then Danny shifted his weight and began a steady, powerful succession of thrusts while stroking Aaron with his hand. The music seemed to get louder and Danny began to sweat from the exertion. Aaron's fingers slid along Danny's hips and up to his chest where he rubbed his nipples. Then he played with the hairs between Danny's pecs. Danny's sweat dripped onto Aaron's abs.

Aaron's balls slid upward toward his body and his cock began to throb.

"Are you ready for me?" Danny asked.

"Yes. Give it to me Danny, please."

"Fuck, you really are mine," Danny said as if it surprised him.

Aaron felt Danny's cock move. The first spurts of warmth began inside him and Aaron thought, _Yes, welcome!_

As so many times before, Aaron felt a surge of enchantment with the knowledge of Danny's semen inside him. Aaron's mind went blank then and all he experienced was the sensation of his asshole tightening around Danny's cock and the powerful contraction around his balls followed by the longed for release as Aaron's own ejaculation occurred.

"Danny, yes!" he shouted.

Danny collapsed onto Aaron and smeared the wetness between their chests. He was smiling and even laughing a little and had a look of great pleasure and satisfaction.

"Yes!" Danny echoed Aaron.

# CHAPTER 46

Aaron and Michelle had a best friends' night on Monday. Michelle still had another four weeks before the beginning of her freshman year (pre-Med) at UC Davis but Aaron's classes at Sacramento State would start just one week from today. Aaron no longer lived two doors down from her and soon she would move into the dorms twenty-five miles away. They both recognized that this was the end of one chapter in their friendship. They would keep in touch by phone and would see each other often, but it wouldn't be the same as those countless times in the past ten years when the boy would walk to the girl's house and be welcomed for a day of play or hours of reading and talk.

They were both in shorts and tank tops on this warm summer night. Aaron had left his flip flops at the door. Just like old times, they hung out in her bedroom. They lay next to each other on her bed. He felt happy, safe and loved in this place. Michelle complained that, as usual, he was radiating heat. He offered to move to the desk chair but she said no. Aaron was on his side with his head propped on his arm. He was probably smiling a little too widely when he described how he helped Danny put a cast on the broken leg of a small dog that afternoon. Michelle let him finish that story and then she steered the conversation to her friend's first experience in his new home.

"It wasn't anything different," he told her, grinning. "We did the same things we always do but it was just so romantic. He really was making love to me."

"But it was really hot too, right?"

"Yeah," Aaron said. "I had him moaning and then he had me moaning and then he had me almost screaming. He is so great at it."

Michelle knew all about Aaron's counseling sessions with Angela and was supportive and helpful as Aaron worked his way through the weekly assignments that promised to accomplish a significant change in his way of thinking about himself and his life. She also knew Danny and Aaron had participated in the sexual practices survey but tonight she extracted the details of what had motivated them to go to the psychologists in the first place.

"It was my fault," Aaron told her. "I thought he wanted someone who was less...um, passive."

"Oh."

"I was completely wrong."

Aaron explained the statistics about male couples who adhered to strict top/bottom roles in their sex lives. "We are in that group." He looked at her with some embarrassment. "Does it surprise you?"

"Not at all," she said sympathetically. "I hope it doesn't hurt your feelings, but I never pictured anything else for you."

"I'm fine," Aaron said. "I'm a...well, you know. Anyway, I'm a perfect match for Danny."

"Right. You need to get over any embarrassment. Aaron. Being a bottom doesn't mean anything other than that's what you like. You're a sweet, kind, soft-spoken guy and that would be the same even if you were a motorcycle-riding, sky-diving kick boxer who was 100% straight."

"Thanks, Michelle."

She suddenly gave him a sheepish look. "Sometimes I feel guilty about invading Danny's privacy. Not yours, I feel entitled to know everything about you. Just Danny's. He never signed up for it."

"He doesn't mind," Aaron said. "He knows what we talk about. He's always said you're good for me and he is grateful for everything you have meant in my life. He tells Justin about me too. We wouldn't tell anyone else but it makes life better to have people we love that we can share the experience with. Besides, you should hear what we told the sex professors."

"Ok, what?"

He knew the kind of revelations she wanted and tonight he opened up about Danny's Spanish-speaking alter ego. She was impressed.

"There's something else a little odd about me."

"What a surprise!"

"I'm really obsessed with Danny's, well you know what."

"No. What?"

"His semen. The sex doctors call it a fetish. It's just that I feel like it's got some power for me and I'm so happy to have it on me or in me. It's kind of gross, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"I guess you would have predicted that I'd have something going on like that."

"Yes."

She shook her head and then rolled her eyes. He could tell she was struggling not to laugh. She lost the battle.

"Aaron, you are such a _freak!_ No one would ever believe you'd be into this kind of thing."

"I know. It's like I'm obsessed."

She rolled onto her back. He watched her stare at the ceiling. A minute later she said, "I'm sorry I laughed, Aaron."

He turned onto his back and exhaled slowly, feeling himself relax as the air escaped. "No problem. Michelle, do you think you'll ever get tired of my story?"

"I thought I would by now, but no. I keep wanting to hear what happens next. It's like I need to make sure the Aaron character gets the love he deserves. Maybe after you two get married I can let it go. But I do enjoy the sex scenes." She looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she said, "Aaron?"

"Uh huh?" His right leg was propped on his left knee and he was wiggling his bare foot.

"When Ramiro gets here, will you want to hear about what we do?"

Aaron nodded slowly. "Yes." He turned to her and smiled. "I want to experience your happiness...you know, romantically and physically. You're a good writer and story-teller. You can describe it so that I can feel what you're feeling. I'm sure Ramiro is a great lover. I know him and he'll show you how much he cares. Of course I know you'll be careful. But also, I've always wondered what it is like for a man and a woman when they do it, knowing that except for that thin layer of latex, they could create a baby. That's got to be something really different."

"I guess it is," Michelle said.

Aaron sat up and looked into her eyes. "Michelle, you know I really love you."

She sat up and hugged him. "I love you too, Aaron."

# CHAPTER 47

Eight months after their chance meeting in the parking lot of a four hundred acre park in their hometown, two young persons embarked on a journey together. Neither of them would have guessed that when the small dog led one to the other, she had introduced two future lovers. Why did these two fall in love?

Danny loved Aaron's heart. He was gentle, sweet-tempered and kind and how could Danny not love someone who loved him so much? He felt a tremendous physical attraction. He never imagined he would find anyone who fit him so well. Sexually, Aaron needed what Danny wanted to give and vice versa.

Danny was dedicated to his profession. He worked long hours, usually six days a week and his dedication could have had the potential to overshadow his romantic life. But now every day, he woke up to Aaron's face, or if they were spooning in their sleep, to the back of his head and every day, at least once he told him he loved him.

Danny firmly believed that eighteen was too young to be deciding the question of who a person would spend his life with. Even nineteen or twenty was doubtful. Danny never imagined himself asking someone that young for a commitment. However, it was becoming more and more likely sometime in the future he would have to make an exception to the rule in the case of Aaron Larkin. Danny was still determined not to do or say anything before the anniversary of their first date when Aaron would be nineteen, but he soon surrendered to his growing attachment and started thinking that a lifetime with Aaron was inevitable. He could not foresee being happy with any other future.

Why did Aaron love Danny? Danny was a compassionate person who, now that he had grown out of his extended adolescence, was destined to lead an uncomplicated life. His work and his loved ones would be its center. Aaron's love changed Danny. It matured him and enabled him to feel a bond that could last a lifetime. Danny was capable of accepting the drama in Aaron's history and personality without burdening their relationship with any of his own. He was someone Aaron could admire as well as desire. Along with his placid, steady demeanor, he brought a sexuality of great passion and depth and awakened Aaron's appreciation for sex. He set it on fire, really.

Aaron was Danny's boyfriend or, now that they lived together, his partner. That was all Aaron wanted from life at the moment. That is not to say that he didn't treasure the expectations he rightly possessed about their shared future. He was as confident as Danny that their love would grow and they would someday be married. Outside of this, he had his running, his classes and his job. For the first time he had freedom to choose how to live his life and he reveled in it.

The couple enjoyed the sex more than ever; including the tender, romantic couplings, their playful, imaginative fantasy enactments and those frequent times when Danny got to be the super masculine tough guy who showed Aaron who was the boss, if only for a few minutes.

Both were calm, reasonable people. They knew they were still at the stage of getting to know each other, learning to live together and determining if they could commit to each other for a lifetime. This stage had just begun. Their friends, Danny's family and Aaron's cousins gave the new couple warm, approving support. The young couple felt this love and gave it to them in return. To Danny and Aaron, it was evident their loved ones had a stake in their relationship and its future. These were people who truly wished them happiness.

Neither of the lovers expected a trouble-free existence. Before they moved in together, they had already been taught a lesson about the need for open and honest communication. They had learned something about each other's faults and some predictable and unpredictable relationship pitfalls. They faced their new, shared future with humility and hope. Danny was confidant in himself and Aaron. As for Aaron, life had programmed him to be pessimistic, but he was now a confirmed optimist about two things: his ability to run faster and Danny.

# CHAPTER 48

Finishing high school, coming out to his family, moving in with his boyfriend and starting college were the major milestones in Aaron's life during June, July and August but the next month included some more, significant developments in Danny and Aaron's lives.

Trending as of September

• Grandad had already transferred funds for tuition into Aaron's checking account. Just after Labor Day, he set up a recurring deposit of eight hundred dollars a month.

• As Aaron's sessions with Angela neared an end, the two of them began addressing his anger. He didn't have much contact with his family after the move, only an occasional call until late in the month. Angela found him a COA support group with a majority of gay members and he was comfortable in their meetings.

• At their lone best friends' date night early in September, Aaron told Michelle that he realized now that she probably did save his life. The stress and abuse from life with Grandad and the hormonal surges of his late puberty had been too much to survive on his own. For the first time, Michelle saw him cry. He also thanked her parents for their role in his life.

• In his training with the Sacramento State cross-country team, Aaron was getting in between 70-100 miles a week. He lifted weights at least twice a week. The coach also had him doing a lot of hill work to build his leg muscles. Running was second only to Danny in his priorities, ahead of the four easy general education classes he was enrolled in.

• The Sac State coach gave Aaron permission to run in a race with his old club. He won the Truckee River Challenge 8K with a personal best of 25:17. To his surprise, he saw Grandad and Ethan among the spectators near the starting line. Grandad celebrated the victory by treating Aaron and his friends to lunch.

• Enrique kept track of Aaron's running and training schedule. He offered financial support via Danny so that Aaron wouldn't have to work the hours at the clinic. Danny agreed with Enrique's reasoning but declined on his and Aaron's behalf without telling Aaron. Without asking, Enrique began buying the training shoes that Aaron went through so quickly.

• Enrique and Leticia decided she needed a new car. They loaned Aaron their eight-year-old Volkswagen Passat to commute to school.

• "Girl meets Boy!" That's what Michelle called it. Ramiro was about to begin a semester at UC Davis. His parents and sister accompanied him to California, arriving on the 18th, a week before his classes would start. Charles Larkin had been corresponding with Sr. Torres and had insisted they stay with him and his wife. There was plenty of room now that Aaron and then Dawn had moved out. Conveniently, Michelle was an entering freshman at the same school. However, although she had watched Ramiro's nude video many times and more than once they had shared steamy Skype sessions, she was hesitant to move things too quickly in real life. She directed Aaron to arrange their in-person introduction with a group of friends. He invited them both to a party at Matthew's apartment in downtown Sacramento. Romantically, the first meeting between Aaron's best friend and his Costa Rican brother went very well. Aaron looked forward eagerly for the next best friends' date night and a complete, uncensored account. He was still waiting at the end of the month.

• The party at Matthew's home had also resulted in a meeting between Danny's dear heterosexual friend Matthew who looked enough like Aaron to be his older brother and Aaron's close heterosexual friend Ramiro who, like Danny, was a young, tall, handsome Hispanic man. The resemblance between the latter two was not as great, but it was strong. Danny and Aaron left the party early and were spared their friends' discussion of a new theory of the attraction between them. Matthew and Ramiro both took it as a compliment that their former roommates had searched for and found lovers who looked like them.

• Danny's sister Abigail had her baby on the first of September. She and her husband named her Eleanor, Ellie for short.

• At the clinic, Aaron cut his hours way back, ostensibly to accommodate his cross-country schedule and schoolwork. Soon, he only worked a few hours on Saturdays. Nora and Dr. Avila hired a new person to take over most of Aaron's tasks. She became the keeper of the old green station wagon.

• In a related development, after each of his Monday and Wednesday morning classes, Aaron went to the farmhouse to spend time with Leticia and the new baby. He would study at the big table and help Leticia with her day care duties.

On one of these afternoons, Leticia watched as Aaron held the baby. Ellie's two young aunts Emily and Amy were at the house as well. As Aaron gazed into her round face, she began to smack her lips.

"Stroke her cheek with your finger, Aaron," Leticia instructed him.

He did and the baby responded with sucking motions.

"She's hungry," Leticia said.

The baby's chin touched his breast through the thin fabric of his tee shirt. "I can't help you, Baby Ellie. Sorry," Aaron said with a chuckle.

"Would you like to feed her?" Leticia asked him.

Aaron smiled and nodded enthusiastically. Amy reached for Ellie. "Here, hand her to me while you take your shirt off."

Aaron looked at Leticia.

"Do it," she said cheerily.

Aaron pulled his tee shirt over his head and they passed the baby back to him.

"It's for skin-to-skin contact, Aaron," Leticia explained. "It has a calming effect and provides temperature control that helps with the baby's development. It also helps you bond with her. You'll do it when you have one of your own, cariño."

Emily brought a bottle of the mother's breast milk, slightly warm from the bottle warmer. She gave it to Aaron. Leticia showed him how to offer the nipple to the baby. His face brightened with a wide smile when Ellie began to feed.

"Aaron has maternal instincts, Mama," Emily said.

"Yes he does." Leticia held up her phone to take a picture. Aaron gave the camera a look of complete pleasure. She took two more. Later, they recorded a video of Aaron bathing and dressing the baby.

"Are we going to show Daddy the pictures?" Amy asked her mother after the baby had been put down for a nap.

"Is there any reason why we shouldn't?"

The three women laughed.

Aaron had a confused look. "What?"

"Of course we all know it's too early to be saying these things," Leticia said, "but...well, your possible, almost, future father-in-law has his heart set on you and Danny..."

"He wants gaybies, Aaron," Amy shouted with a giggle. "Gaybie grandkids."

"Me too," Aaron said enthusiastically. "But let's not tell Danny until after the wedding, ok?"

• Aaron finished the first month of classes still without a clue what to choose for a major.

E N D

If you enjoyed _There Was a Boy_ , please tell other gay fiction readers at your online bookstore or  Goodreads.com. Also, please consider reading Justin Durand's second novel:

Two Roads Converged

Disgrace, exile, escape, retreat, escape, _true love_ , escape...in some of the most beautiful locales in Europe.

After spending his first seventeen and a half years in small town western Pennsylvania, Arrow Carson Youngbird doesn't become a seasoned traveler voluntarily, but he is young, intelligent and healthy and he adapts well to change. Arrow isn't in control of his life but he (mostly) enjoys the journey with Janis, the warm-hearted second generation hippy who raised him and especially their new traveling companion: tall, handsome fellow athlete Zephan Adler Kelly, a calm, confident natural leader whose heroes are Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking.

On the outside, Arrow seems tough, cool and doesn't smile that much but he wants love just like anyone else. Raised in poverty and burdened with family problems, he is snatched from the world he's adapted to and confronted with people whose motives and intentions he doesn't understand. His new life is complicated enough but then love enters the picture and Arrow finds himself in Europe struggling to cope with a hopeless crush while trying to help a friend escape from desperate and greedy forces determined to take everything from him.

Set in Manhattan, France's southern Provence region, the Swiss Alps, Amsterdam and London, Two Roads Converged wants to be a new adult love story, but it also happens to have a coming out story, a few sex education case studies, and some suspense and action that intrude on a happy travelogue.

English-style murder mystery fans, please consider  Scott Edwards' Alexander Moffat Mysteries for richly detailed stories with pleasant characters in a setting of great natural beauty.

Alexander Moffat Mysteries

Nothing Done in Secret

An overbearing realtor is found dead at the church she planned to convert to condominiums. A day later, a man in a ski mask attacks a young woman revealing a pattern of unsolved crimes going back three decades. Police Captain Alexander Moffat must conduct two very different investigations with a small team of young officers. _Nothing Done in Secret_ is a British-style mystery set in the small towns and vineyards of California's picturesque Gold Country.

Family Values: In Vivo Veritas

Brian Rocha is a charismatic politician with nasty habits. How did he end up in the Old Schoolhouse in the 150-year-old California Gold Rush town of Manzanita? Police Captain Moffat and Sergeant De la Peña find clues in food and drink, cosmetics, the zeroes and ones of computer hard drives and one very tidy recycling bin. They unearth a shocking conspiracy. Does it answer the question about Brian?

Things That Go Squeak in the Park

Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year's...most people add a few pounds over the holidays. Police Detective Moffat adds unsolved murders to his caseload. When 10-year-old Gina finds a body in the community garden, Captain Moffat realizes something strange is going on at the Department of Environmental Health in the historic western town of Biglerville in California's Sierra Nevada Mountains. A rational motive is elusive, the 'persons of interest' have too many secrets, and Captain Moffat will soon meet the most bizarre psychopath of his career.

Build a Better Rat Trap

What if someone is out to get you, and you don't listen to the kind, intelligent policeman's advice? Then your future is in doubt. This fourth Alexander Moffat mystery finds the captain surrounded by distracted young lovers while he tries to protect the know-it-all members of a rich family from a killer (or killers) with a penchant for cleverly-designed murder scenarios. He keeps his focus on crime solving even though he finds himself unexpectedly attracted to a temporary co-worker: his wife of twenty-five years. Meanwhile, practically in the captain's own backyard, a physically-challenged teen defies stereotypes and engages in some questionable and risky behaviors.

