- Hello and welcome to UCLA connections.
We're bringing in UCLA experts
on topics you care about.
My name is Alison Hewitt
and I work for UCLA
strategic communications.
I'll be moderating our conversation today
about how families can have screen time
without feeling like it's taking over.
First before we begin, I
want to let our viewers know
that this webinar is being recorded.
Only the guest speaker
and I will be recorded,
the audience will not be recorded.
The chat and Q&A functions
have been turned off,
your microphones are muted
and video of the audience is off.
The recorded webinar will
be available for viewing
at ucla.edu/connections.
Today's guest is Yalda T. Uhls,
an adjunct assistant professor
with UCLA's Department of Psychology.
She's a child psychologist who studies
how media affects children.
She's the founder and executive director
of the Center for
Scholars and Storytellers,
which advises content creators on how
to make valuable content for children
and she's also an advisor
to Common Sense Media.
She's also the author
of the parenting book,
Media Moms and Digital Dads.
For today's 20 to 30 minute conversation,
she'll teach us some
research based solutions
on how to use screens
without having screen time
take over your family's life
and she'll discuss some of the
concerns about screen time,
which ones are reasonable and
which ones we can let go of.
I'll be folding in questions
that our audience submitted
when they registered
and I think we're ready to begin.
Yalda, thank you for joining
me and our viewers today.
- [Yalda] Thank you.
Thank you for having me.
I'm not sure how to disable my video.
Okay, hold on sorry.
- Let's see your screen might be reversed.
- Yep, it is.
Okay, Hello.
- There we go, lovely to see you.
- Thank you for having me.
- It's wonderful to have you.
So our audiences sent in
a lot of questions today
and they mentioned children
of all ages from toddlers
and preschoolers all the
way through elementary,
middle and high school.
The thing that it seems to be
most of them had in common,
was concern over how long
their children are spending staring
at computers and TVs right now
and I know I feel the same
about my kindergartner.
So what I'd like to ask you
is during this time of crisis,
how much should we still be
worrying about screen time?
- First of all, I just
want every parent to know,
you can cut yourself some slack.
We've been studying this for 15 years
since mobile tech, 2007,
screen time before that, social media
and while there are some
concerns with certain types
of screen time or certain children,
sometimes there are issues,
by and large, most people
are fine, most kids are fine.
We can learn from this.
We can connect from this.
There's a lot of positive impact of media
and we're in a pandemic so we are
in a crisis situation and it's hard.
So I think the good news is
there's a lot of research
that shows you aren't
harming your children.
- That is a huge relief.
- And I have two children.
I have a 17 and 20 year old.
So I worry too, and I've
gone through it all myself,
and the kids are gonna be alright.
- That's terrific.
So several parents are also asking
whether there's such a thing
as maybe good screen time
and bad screen time.
What kinds maybe help children
learn or benefit them more,
and whether that could vary by age?
- Absolutely.
So there's definitely good
screen time and bad screen time.
It's not necessarily the platform.
It's more about the content
and also the context and the child.
So Lisa Guernsey, came
up with this framework
that a lot of people have embraced
which is instead of
thinking about time limits,
think about your child,
the individual child,
if they're not sleeping,
if they're not socializing,
if they're not eating
and they're only wanting
to be on the screens,
there might be an issue.
But if all those other factors are okay
then screen times fine.
Think about the context.
Are they doing it in school?
Are they doing it with you to curve you?
Are they doing it to
socialize with their friends
during the age, tween, teen years,
when that's what they
actually crave and need
then that's okay.
And then most importantly
think about the content.
Think about, all content is not the same.
From video games, Halo is a
lot different than Minecraft
and apply your own family values
to what you allow your child to consume
because every family's different.
So you're the best judge of the content.
- And, like you said, so certain games,
maybe games that have
these kinds of shooting
and stuff need to wait
until kids are older.
- Well, yeah,
There's actually evidence that video games
and video games is something
that parents really worry about.
I think because many
of us don't play them,
aren't familiar with them
but there's actually a lot of evidence
that video games can teach
things like spatial learning
and mental rotation that
underlie STEM learning
and especially for girls.
Girls in particular can
increase in those skill sets
from playing video games.
but ultimately you have to
balance the kind of content
with what they may be taking away from it.
A lot of kids use and boys in particular,
use these games to socialize.
So this is the way they're
connecting with their friends.
My son has a game every
Wednesday and Saturday night
during this pandemic and
it's his social life.
That is how he gets to be social
and if I took it away from
him, he would be missing out
on a really developmentally
important time for him
to connect with peers and friends
but at the same time, some
of these games have misogyny,
they have too much violence,
they're too commercial.
You have to balance it out
and they're age appropriate.
And I always recommend
and I know I'm an advisor,
but I use it as a parent,
Common Sense Media has amazing ratings
that can help you make the
appropriate developmental choice
across all different kinds of media.
- So that's good to have another resource
that people can check, thank you.
- Yes.
- Can you walk us through maybe
some of the common concerns
and tell us a little bit about
maybe which ones are legitimate
and which ones are more of
almost like urban legends
or myths at this point.
Can too much screen time
change a kid's personality?
Will they lose social skills
from spending too much
time staring at a screen
and again, does the
answer change depending
on how old they are and
how much social experience
they've already had in their lives?
- Yeah, the answer does change
when they're very, very young
and the American Academy of
Pediatrics is quite strict
with their recommendations
and that can be challenging,
especially if you have two children.
So I don't want anyone to feel
like your child can't look
at a screen at all,
when they're very young
but the reality is,
they're not learning much from the screen
Under two years of age,
they learn the most
from the real world and
face to face experience
and that means also, while you're looking
at your own screen, they're
not learning from your face.
So you have to make sure
that you build in times
that you put your tech down
and you're spending time face
to face with your own child so
that they're learning from you
and you're learning from
them and you're bonding.
As they get older,
just as long as they
again are doing these,
they're moving their
bodies, they're eating well,
they're putting it down for a while,
they're running outside,
they're doing well in school,
as they get older they're
getting enough sleep,
sleep is critical then the amount of time
and the issues may not necessarily arise.
Some kids do get very anxious.
There is a trend for
some girls in particular
to have fear of missing
out, usually around
that tween age when they
first get on social media
and they see these perfectly curated lives
and these beautiful people
and they feel like they're not part of it.
If you're noticing your
child feel a lot of anxiety
and staring at their screen a lot,
don't necessarily take it away
but talk to them about how you feel
and try to get them to sort of recognize
that they're feeling that way
because of what they're looking at.
And as they get older,
you wanna help them learn
how to self regulate.
So it's important for
you to develop mentally,
teach them more and more skills
about choosing the content on their own
and making smart choices on their own.
And two other concerns
I'm gonna talk about.
Cyber bullying, sorry.
Cyber bullying is one and
definitely there are issues
with cyber bullying but it's
not incredibly prevalent
but certainly if your child
seems to be very distressed
or quiet and hiding the phone from you
or there's something going on,
you may wanna talk to them about that.
And then addiction that does appear
that maybe 5% to 6% of the
population may actually
get addicted to their screens
and kids and often those are underlying,
their underlying situations or factors,
maybe there's addiction in your family.
These are the kinds of things,
it's not necessarily the screen itself
that's doing it for them.
And the one thing I would
tell you, we have research
that came up published
in cyber psychology,
networking and behavior,
where we found that today's
tween, sixth graders
had actually improved in their
ability to learn social cues
without words in pictures, in photographs.
And we think it's because
of all the time young
people have spent looking
at photographs.
We're in the selfie culture.
We're in the world where there
is social media and Snapchat
and all these things are
looking at their peers
and their own faces
more than they ever have
and they're learning from it.
- So they're actually having
an easy time recognizing emotions
on faces is what you're saying.
- Yeah, easier than five years ago,
where we tested the same age kids.
They're actually doing better on it.
- So social skills, maybe not something
to worry about too much
as long as they're still getting a dose
of it some of the day.
- Exactly.
- And I want to go back
to what you mentioned
about very young children
under the age of two
'cause I know some of our
viewers wrote in about
that age group saying, I didn't mean
to show my kid phones this early
but I don't have a whole
lot of options right now.
Is it OK?
- Yes, it's totally fine.
And the reality is most children under two
won't really stay as engaged on your phone
as long as you want them to sometimes.
So it's okay to hand them a phone,
so you can you take a
little break for a second
or take a shower or hand them a tablet,
just pay more attention to what
you're actually showing them
and don't necessarily believe
that they're learning tons
but make it something
that's engaging or fun
or if you can put them
in front of a screen,
video chatting is actually
been shown to teach kids,
so even under two.
So if they're video chatting,
have them video chat
with grandma or grandpa
or anybody you trust
and that might be a way
to really engage them.
One Grandma did this at radio show,
talked about how she did
reading time with her kids.
So you can have someone
read a book to them
while you go do something
else for a few minutes.
- And we had a few parents
who were also asking
for very specific guides
about how long children
of different ages should
spend using screens.
Is there sort of time limits
that you would recommend
that are acceptable for
kids to use technology
and time (mumbles) too much.
- So again I think,
most researchers in this
field really stay away
from time limits,
recommending time limits.
So there's really no,
except for the extreme end
like over eight, nine hours
a day, outside of school,
so like cutting into sleep
and all sorts of different things.
There's really no research
that says they're detrimental limits,
that there's a time, a cut off time.
Every family's different
and it's more important
to really think about the
overall picture of your child.
And as I said again, if
they're not sleeping enough
and the phone or the there's
something in their room
that's distracting them,
you may wanna consider taking it out.
You probably should try to set it up
that way without any devices
in the bedroom starting early
and including in your own bedroom,
so that you're modeling the right thing
but if it's already in there
and you're noticing they're not sleeping,
talk to them about taking it out.
If they're not eating,
if they're not willing to
sit down and be social,
if they're not moving their bodies
and doing these other things.
We also talk about sometimes
having a varied media diet.
So rather than just letting
them binge watch 24-7,
playing games, doing
some social interaction,
doing some learning.
Different kinds of media
exercises different parts
of your brain
- Several parents were actually going back
to your suggestion, for example,
to take the phone out of the bedroom.
Several parents were asking for ways
to help limit their kids
screen time without arguments
or ways to help their
kids develop the skills
to control their own screen time.
For kids who maybe are on
their computer to do homework
but are drifting to games or
who are getting very upset
when their parents say, okay,
it's time to stop watching
that show or playing that game.
Do you have resources or advice
for things parents can do
to cut down on those arguments
and help kids develop their own skills?
- Yeah, I mean, it's the same advice
that we give for parenting in general.
In the parenting style literature,
there is authoritative parenting,
which is being warm and caring and giving
and showing your child you love them
but still having limits.
And that has the most
positive outcomes for kids
and the same thing shows up
in the mediation literature,
which is being positive,
open, not always judging it
but also saying here's some
structure, here are some ways
that you can do this.
And the best way to do it is
really to get their buy-in,
even from the littlest stage,
the more you can get your
child to think it's their idea
or that they have some
autonomy in this, the better
and one of the best tools
that I found as a parent
and many of us that talk
to parents about this,
is a family media plan where
Common Sense Media has one,
the American Academy
of Pediatrics has one,
you can make your own.
I made one with my son
and basically what you do is
it's a conversation starter
with your child where you say,
you can have this much
screen time or do this
as long as you get good
grades or you get enough sleep
and you put the onus on
them to agree with you
and they may say something to you to.
Stop staring at your
phone all the time, mom
So it's a two way
conversation and you go back
and revisit it every six months.
- For parents who maybe believe,
screen time is a mostly negative influence
in their children's life,
are there any negative consequences
to just taking screens away?
- I mean, there actually is evidence
that having no screens whatsoever can
also have negative outcomes
but I don't think it's necessarily
because a family has taken it away.
That's often if it's a child
who just isn't drawn to
that and because these tools now,
especially during those tween, teenagers
are the way they socialize,
it may mean that they're not
socializing with their peers.
Taking it away when they use it as a way
to connect with other
kids is not recommended
because it may be their lifeline,
it may be the only way
that they feel comfortable socializing.
Introverts often may feel
more comfortable socializing
that way.
There's a lot of examples of
people in minority communities
or communities where they
don't feel comfortable
in their immediate environment
and they connect with people online.
LGBTQ, youth or different kinds of youth
that may not feel comfortable
talking to people face to face
or talking about different issues,
they may use this as a way to
connect and feel less lonely.
Just taking it away without
really thinking about the ways
that they use it is not the greatest idea.
- Okay.
So we've got to kind of pay
attention in both directions.
- Yeah, exactly.
I mean, just like anything
else, everything in moderation.
Think about what your role modeling,
stay true to your values.
It's the same old parenting
applied to this digital world.
- Work from trust.
- Okay, so we're ready to work from trust,
we're ready to start modeling.
Well, some of our parents have asked us,
how they can talk to their
kids about screen time.
They want to engage and
they're not sure how.
Whether to ask how homework is going
or learn about what is
this game you're playing,
or maybe even influence
their screen time choices.
Any advice for how parents
can connect on that level?
- Yeah, I mean, there's lots
of different things you can do.
Try making yourself say
a few positive things
about their screen time and
they might open up onto you
because they feel like you like it.
What's that YouTube thing you're watching
or what's the newest app you're doing?
Who are you playing with your game on?
Can I see you play this game?
Starting from that place of being curious
about what they're doing
will get better results.
Having open-ended questions,
not things that they
can just answer yes, no.
Not being always the gatekeeper.
Being someone that's sort of teaching them
to make their own choices.
Like let's say they decide
they want to watch something
that you don't really approve of.
Rather than saying no, absolutely not.
First of all consider if this
is the battle you wanna fight.
Sometimes when you give in,
you win in a more important battle.
But you should always
express your concerns,
even if you decide that you're
gonna let your child do it.
But you say, I don't like that
because the way the violence in the show
or the sexual content
and have them sort of start
to process it themselves
or the gender stereotypes.
I'd like to talk to you about
it afterwards if you watch it.
My advisor told me that when
her kids were growing up,
she didn't want them to
watch The Brady Bunch
'cause of the gender stereotypes.
So she let her son watch it
but she made him write a one
page paper about it after.
- Oh, wow.
- Which I was like,
that's a really good idea.
Then it teaches them critical thinking.
I mean, ultimately media literacy
is where you want your
child and all of us to go
that we understand
what's real, what's not,
what's fake news, how
to have safe passwords
and so teaching them to learn
this stuff on their own,
so that they're literate
around the media choices is the best way.
- So thinking especially
about this specific time.
Are there ways we can expect
children to be changed
by the screen time they're
getting at home right now,
especially when most of our socialization
is happening over screens?
- I don't know actually.
And that's a great question.
And, there are many researchers
at UCLA studying this
on all sorts of level and
in my lab we're looking at,
we did not find a difference
between these 2012
in this study we just
published in their ability
to read nonverbal emotional cues on video.
They were the same from before and now
and we're wondering if
now that children are,
all of us are so much on this video,
we're gonna see a difference
and they're actually gonna be able
to learn these cues from here.
So we're gonna see if
they're getting better
at reading, learning from video.
But there's gonna be so many
things that are changed.
And it's funny, I was talking
to a content creator earlier today
and they were like, how are
they gonna responsibly show
how young people should act
in stories a year from now.
Will social distancing be a
norm for us, for a long time?
Will washing your hands all the time.
There's gonna be a lot of changes
but I think the one thing
that this has taught me
and everyone is we can't plan
right now, we don't know.
Every day something changes.
- So here's another
predict the future one.
- For those of us who are
relaxing our screen time rules,
are we setting ourselves up for trouble
when things go back to,
quote unquote, normal?
And is there anything we can do
to potentially ease that transition?
- Yeah, any transition is always hard.
A change of environment is hard.
We have a puppy and the puppy
is so much like the baby,
you move the puppy
and it has to learn everything over again.
So starting really early,
I think, we know probably in two weeks,
there's gonna be some changes,
start talking to your child about it now,
and saying, what do you
think should we change?
What do you think we'll keep?
What did we like about the screen time?
We're doing zoom calls with friends
and family that we never did.
Maybe that's something you like
that you've gained from this
but maybe the video game
time and always being on
or sitting on the couch is not something.
So start talking about it
often, over and over again.
You can talk about an agreement.
Let's all agree that when we go back,
that we're going to put the screens down
when we come home from school
and spend some time doing this or that.
Helping your child buy in to
whatever those changes are
and starting early and
talking about it often.
And then also you yourself
show that you're willing
to change your habits as well.
- And then this is
about our last question.
Are there any resources that
you would like to highlight
or remind parents of that
they might want to check out
after the webinar is
over or top three tips
that you want to reiterate before we end?
- I mean, the top three tips
are just the ones, role model.
Think about your own behavior first.
You're first teacher in every way
but in media we have these phones
and devices long before they
do and they learn from us.
The second thing is think
more about the balance
rather than time limits.
Think about that they're doing
a variety of different things
even in their media world.
And the third would be
thinking about the content.
Pay more attention to the content
because they can learn from this stuff
and there's a lot of really
great content out there.
So steer them towards the good stuff
and away from the bad stuff.
Common Sense Media is a
nonprofit, national nonprofit.
They have over 35000 ratings.
They're really quite good for
helping you make decisions
about what to choose.
The American Academy of Pediatrics
has this media calculator
and they have guidelines.
ZERO TO THREE, if you have
little kids is a good resource.
And when I'm thinking about good content,
PBS Kids, Sesame Street,
especially when they're young,
guide them towards those resources.
- And any recommendations
for ideas of ways
to get off of screens?
- Yeah.
- You had some resources
that you shared with a couple of links
that people could go to.
- Yeah, you might have to
remind me what those were.
- I'm trying to remember.
I think one might have been Tinkergarten.
- Tinkergarten yeah, right.
- I guess that might be for smaller kids.
- Yeah, it's for smaller kids.
And getting your child to go
out every day and go for a walk
and maybe bike ride or
doing that with them,
cooking together, cooking
together has been a real joy.
Just making sure that they just know
that only staring at screens
and I think actually most
kids don't wanna just stare
at screens, they get bored too.
There are a few kids
that like screens nonstop
but a lot of them would
prefer to be with friends
and in fact, most surveys
for teens and tweens say
that they're not addicted to technology,
they're just addicted to their friends
and if we let them have
more face to face time
and more sort of relaxed time together,
they wouldn't be staring at
the screens as much to connect.
- All right, well, thank
you so much for your answers
and for providing just a calm
and well researched approach
to this really thorny issue.
- Yeah, and I've been there.
I got my PhD
and I was studying this stuff
and I was very, very
worried after the iPad,
and everything took off.
So I understand the
fears but the reality is,
luckily, we've studied this
for a long enough time now
and by and large, most children
become productive, active.
This generation is doing really well
and there is research
that shows this generation
actually has no worse social skills
than the pre-social media generation
and in fact, maybe a teeny bit better.
- Wow. all right.
Well, this is been by and large a relief.
Thank you again, this is
all we have time for today.
Professor Yalda T. Uhls,
thank you for your time
with us this afternoon.
- Thank you so much for having me.
- And to our audience,
thank you as well for joining us today
and attending UCLA connections.
To re-watch the conversation
or get more information
about the UCLA connections series.
Please visit, excuse me.
Please visit ucla.edu/connections
