- This is the story of
Shrek in three minutes,
so now all you mean-loving internet ogres
can quit asking for it in the comments.
Anyway, let's begin.
Our story starts with voltar` Shrek.
In the town of San Ricardo Puss in Boots,
a suave boot wearing kitty cat
is tricked into a bank robbery
by fellow orphan Humpty Dumpty.
Despite the betrayal,
Puss helps Humpty and Kitty Softpaws
steal some dang magic beans
from Jack and Jill.
No, no, not those beans.
Puss discovers Humpty intends
to destroy San Ricardo
but manages to talk the egg out of it,
saving the day.
Later a secluded swamp
grows increasingly overrun
by fairytale creatures as Lord Farquaad --
Do you get it,
it sounds like swear words!
Begins exiling them
from the Land of Duloc.
This doesn't sit well
with the primary resident
of said swamp,
an ogre named Shrek,
who convinces a talking donkey
to lead him to Farquaad.
In order to become king,
Farquaad must marry into royalty
Tiple H style,
so he holds a tournament to find a knight
capable of rescuing the
princess of Far, Far Away
from a dragon.
Shrek and Donkey stumble into
and win the tournament.
Shrek rescues Fiona as Donkey
seduces the dragon.
Meanwhile Fiona's parents,
King Harold with Queen
Lillian almost struck a deal
with Rumpelstiltskin
to save their daughter
when a knight arrives and informs them
that their daughter has been
rescued by Shrek.
As Shrek and Fiona warm up to each other
Donkey learns a curse turns Fiona
into an ogre every night.
Only true love's kiss will break the curse
and permanently turn her
into love's true form.
Shrek mishears this and
thinks she finds him disgusting.
Dejected Shrek returns to his swamp
but Donkey convinces him
to tell Fiona of his love
and they rescue the princess from the evil
would-be king who Dragon eats.
Shrek's true love's kiss keeps as an ogre
and Dragon and Donkey fall in love.
That definitely won't result in
any sins against nature.
Also there's a karaoke part.
Shrek and Fiona meet
her parents for dinner
and it's a disaster.
Fair Godmother reminds King Harold
that her son Prince Charming
is supposed to marry Fiona
and demands that he kills Shrek.
Harold hires Puss who is unable
to defeat Shrek,
joining him and Donkey
in revealing the assassination plot.
Shrek steals a Happily Ever After potion
from Fairy Godmother which
turns Shrek and Fiona
into humans and Donkey into a white horse.
Fairy G convinces Shrek to leave
and Charming impersonates him.
Fairy Godmother gives Harold a potion
to get Fiona to fall for Charming
but he doesn't give it to her,
so she doesn't fall in love.
It's revealed that
Harold was a Frog Prince
to begin with but that
Lillian loves him for him.
Fairy Godmother is destroyed
and our heroes choose to
return to their true forms.
Shrek and his friends
hang with Simon Cowell
and have an Idol show.
Donkey becomes the father of some terrible
donkey dragon hybrids.
Dankons, Drankeys
Unhappy that he'll be
king when Harold dies,
Shrek seeks out Artie
Pendragon, another heir.
Fiona lets him know that she is pregnant.
Prince Charming rallies a bunch
of villains for revenge.
Shrek, Donkey, and Puss find Artie
and his mentor Merlin.
But Artie is frightened
at the possibility of being king.
Fiona gets captured by
Charming and his villains.
Charming sends Captain
Hook after Shrek and Co.
but Merlin sends them
back to Far, Far Away,
accidentally Nick Cage and Travolta'ing
Puss and Donkey.
Charming tries to kill
Shrek as part of a play
but is unsuccessful as Artie convinces
the other villains to reform.
Prince Charming doesn't,
but is ultimately crushed
by Rapunzel's tower.
Puss and Donkey are switched back
and Shrek and Fiona go home,
having three baby ogres.
Rumpelstiltskin sees Shrek struggling
with fatherhood, tricks the ogre
into back-to-the-future'ing himself
out of existence,
creating a reality where Fiona's parents
accepted his deal and Stilts became king.
Shrek finds Donkey and then discovers
Rumpelstiltskin's magic can be undone
with true love's kiss.
If Shrek doesn't undo
the spell by day's end,
he'll get vanosed.
Shrek finds out Fiona leads ogres against
Rumpelstiltskin and tries to get Fiona to
fall in love with him.
But she doesn't,
but they kiss and nothing happens.
The rebels are captured
but Shrek gives himself
up to set them free.
Rumpelstiltskin keeps Fiona
and plans to feed her to a dragon
but Shrek leads the ogres
to the castle and frees her.
Shrek begins to faint
but Fiona, now in love,
kisses him and restores the timeline,
reuniting Shrek with
his family and friends.
There are two Halloween
specials after this.
Two of them.
And a Christmas special!
And that's the Shrek
Saga in three minutes.
Comment below with the
fairy tale character
you want to see most in Shrek Five
and don't forget to like and subscribe
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