Today... today is
Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
I don't think
I could say anything
that would live up to his legacy
in any way.
But he was courageous and
uncompromising, and I think,
above all,
he believed in justice,
and I believe
we should all strive for that.
And if you haven't read
his words or watch him speak,
do yourself a favor
and do that today.
They're as powerful
as they ever were.
Tributes have been all over
social media,
like this tweet honoring King
and his, quote,
"incredible career
fighting for civil rights,"
using an excerpt from King's
letter from a Birmingham jail,
which reads,
"Injustice anywhere is a threat
to justice everywhere."
That's a wonderful quote.
I wonder who tweeted that.
-Oh, it was the FBI. The FBI.
-(laughter)
-This is the same FBI who
spent... -(applause & cheering)
Hang on.
Same FBI who spent years
spying on him
and blackmailing MLK
'cause their director and
constipated bullfrog in a
miniskirt J. Edgar Hoover...
(laughter)
...called King, quote, "The most
notorious liar in the country."
The only thing that would be
crazier-- if Mel Gibson tweeted,
-"Happy Hanukkah, sugar tits."
-(laughter)
-(applause and cheering)
-So, comedians...
in light of this MLK tweet
from the FBI,
what's another surprise reversal
tweet the FBI might send out?
John Hodgman.
"Hey, Anthony Weiner--
cool dong, dude."
(laughter, applause)
-Points. Cool dong.
-It's a pretty cool dong.
-Dude... tweeted...
-Chris.
Not just "cool dong."
Just, "Cool dong, dude."
-Dude.
-(laughter) -Eugene Mirman.
Hey, Vladimir Putin,
where do you want us
-to drop off your laundry?"
-HARDWICK: All right, points.
-(laughter, applause)
-Josie Long.
Just, "Hey, Stanley Kubrick,
you did such a great job
faking the moon landings."
And then, hashtag, "Jet fuel can
melt steel beams." That's all.
-(laughter) -HARDWICK:
All right. All right. Points.
