But Brandon also is a little upset about food.
Okay, that's it.
I have HAD it with sweet potatoes.
I ordered a meal with some bullshit called
sweet potato mash.
And that's the LAST fucking time I do that.
I don't know who started this conspiracy that
sweet potatoes are healthier, even though
they have SUGAR IN THE FUCKIN' NAME!
But they just ruined my god damn meal.
I don't want sweet potato fries, sweet potato
mash, and sweet potatoes generally.
I want POTATOES!
FUCKING POTATOES!
Skin on and buttered, cracked, or American Idaho potatoes.
You know what the best food in the world is?
TATER TOTS!
(hey now)
You know what they're made from?
Fuckin' potatoes!
You know what's the second best food in the
world is?
Scallop potatoes.
You know what they're made of?
YEAH you do.
So lets dispel this notion that somehow sweet
potatoes are potatoes.
That's a lie!
THEY'RE FUCKING YAMS!
Would you ever go to a restaurant and accept
yam fries next to your burger?
No!
You throw the menu right at the idiot that tried
to peddle that shit at you.
America was built on potatoes.
Potatoes are the best!
Russet.
Golden.
The little fuck red ones.
You name it.
Every potato you've ever had is better than
a sweet potato, because POTATOES FUCKING RULE!
Happy Thanksgiving.
