Hello and welcome to the best YouTube video of 2018!
[weird noises]
That's right. This is it. The best one!
And there's no competition,
so if you're a YouTuber, it's time to give up.
Hi everyone!
In today's video, I'm going to be sharing my biggest
hopes and dreams and passions with you,
and I'm so excited for you all to-
Hi. Um. So, I know you're just like trying
to make the best video you can,
and, I guess I like, I respect that or whatever,
but I actually-
I'm- I'm making, like, the best video
on YouTube right now,
so there's really no point in trying anymore.
Oh. Okay.
You're right. I'll give up.
Great.
I'm worthless and I'll never follow my dreams again.
Cool.
So I'm sure some of you are, um...
like, wondering...
I'm sure of you are now wondering,
what's this amazing video
that you keep going on about?
And, uh, I would love to tell you.
And I will tell you in a moment,
but first, let's balance this book on my head.
So basically what's going on is that the video I was working on has a section that requires it to be, like,
nice and sunny outside,
and it's currently raining,
so I can't really make that video,
and I don't have any other ideas, so...
you're getting this.
In my last video I mentioned that tomatoes are disgusting,
and most people agreed with me that tomatoes are disgusting,
except Rose,
fueled by spite and rage,
made a video eating a tomato.
[aggressive music]
And then a second video eating cherry tomatoes.
[aggressive music]
So I think I have no choice but to hold this tomato
and not eat it.
And also the tomato is an avocado
because I don't have any tomatoes
in my house right now.
But just, like, pretend this is a tomato,
and that me not eating it is a true act of resistance.
[aggressive music]
Char made a video about dates,
like the fruits.
Um... That's not really what the video was about, I guess.
The video was about making mistakes,
but I didn't relate to that part
because I've never made a mistake,
but dates!
When I think of dates, I think of dried dates,
which is weird because the word doesn't specifically refer to dried dates,
like date also includes fresh dates.
And I just feel like more fruits should have
a separate word for their dried form,
like raisins for grapes
or prunes for plums.
Like a dried tomato is just called a sun-dried tomato.
I think we should come up with a new word for it.
Let's come up with-
Let's come up with new words for dried fruits.
Okay?
The new word for dried bananas is...
"boopadoos".
The new word for dried strawberries is
s- strag-
gigor- icals.
The new word for dried blueberries is blue...
hairies.
The new word for dried pears is pear...
ameters.
And the new word for dried tomatoes is "potatoes".
I've fixed the English language.
For some reason I just closed my eyes,
and I guess they're staying closed now.
Okay, I-
Okay, I've-
Okay, I-
Okay, I have-
Okay.
I'm zoomed in now on my face, and that's
fun and cool and good,
don't you think?
Thanks for watching.
Be sure to tune in next week
for the second best video of the year.
Check out this plastic spoon.
[weird noises]
[music]
