hey guys welcome back thanks for joining
me for another video
in this week's video i wanted to give
you some quick tips towards
taking care of yourself mentally and
emotionally so these are probably
a short list of the best tips that have
worked for me and really helped
um make me mentally stronger make me
mentally healthier
the first thing is everyone should have
what i like to call
a mental health crisis kit and what this
really means
is life's gonna happen we're gonna go
through stressful times we're gonna go
through
heartache we're gonna go through
disappointment we're gonna go through
sadness we're gonna go through
frustration we're gonna go through
stress and fear and all those types of
things
it's kind of inevitable it's just part
of being a human and
knowing really understanding who you are
and what works best for you to help you
during
those times so i always have kind of
like my
list my emergency kit right it's my
first aid kit that i kind of keep in the
background
and i know when i'm feeling a certain
way these are the things that i
should probably start focusing on and
doing to help myself kind of
get out of whatever it is that i'm going
through whether it's a funk whether it's
stress whether it's anxiety
um etc so your crisis kit is kind of
like your
in case of emergency um tools
and so it can be a ton of different
things so i would honestly
consider sitting down making a list of
what are the things that really help me
when i'm going through
certain things in my life whether it's
stress fear anxiety
panic attacks etc perhaps you actually
do take medication for some things that
would be on the list
perhaps you enjoy taking a bath with
with ebs and salt maybe that's on the
list
taking a walk in nature doing
acupuncture listening to a podcast who
are the podcasts that you enjoy
um working out um getting more rest
so make a list of all the things that
allow you to really take care of
yourself both mentally
emotionally physically and spiritually
and as you go through this list of
mental emotional
physical and spiritual underneath all of
those you want to kind of just think of
okay well what do i
what what would help me to be more
spiritual
or you know what would help me to really
take care of myself emotionally you know
doing affirmations that's something that
that's an emotional thing right it's
gonna help you to
maintain a good emotional um well-being
your mental health you know i always say
feeding your mind constantly feeding
your mind whether that's reading books
whether that's
um listening to a podcast listening to a
motivational speaker
so you kind of have to know what works
best for you what works for me is not
going to always work for you because
it's not going to
always be what your driving force is may
not be my driving force and etc
so you just want to really start to know
yourself and understand yourself that
way you know
okay when i'm in the midst of a panic
attack what do i do when i'm in the
midst of anxiety and i
can't get the mind to just listen and
focus
and what do i do when i'm feeling when
i'm starting to feel stress
what do i do when i'm starting to feel
fear come over me and i don't want to
take action towards something
what do i do so asking yourself those
questions
and just being able to have a
conversation where you're with yourself
where you can be honest with yourself
what would
i need right now that would really help
me during this time
and a lot of this really is just
experimentation you just have to
experiment and see what really works for
you
i have to say that was probably the
biggest thing for me
that really helped me to learn how to
take care of myself so now and i always
say this to people
when you know that no matter what
happens to you even though you don't
want to go through
uncomfortable things or pain or anything
like that but that you do know that it
is
a part of life and that no matter what
happens to you that you're going to be
okay that you know how to take care of
yourself
this is what i'm talking about the fact
that you need to know how to take care
of yourself
mentally emotionally physically and
spiritually is
really huge and when you trust yourself
to be able to take care of yourself
you won't fear being alone you won't
fear
um not being in a relationship and it's
a very empowering
thing once you do know how to do this
for yourself the next thing that
really helped me as i was learning how
to become
mentally and emotionally healthier and
stronger
was letting go of the perfectionism now
i can't raise my hand and say that i'm
not a perfectionist
but i am very much aware as to when
it actually starts to take over and that
is huge mindfulness is always the
biggest thing that will
help you in any aspect of life is you
being mindful as to okay
what are the things that i need to work
on what are the things that i'm what am
i saying to myself right now that's
making me feel crappy
being present all of those types of
things but the perfectionism
is something that you gotta really throw
out the window because
literally it doesn't exist no one's ever
going to be perfect
it doesn't exist and it's just not fun
who wants to go through life
doing everything the right way um and
never facing any kind of a challenge or
having to work hard at something or
overcoming something
as much as we don't want to go through
those things we do know that when we get
through them and we're on the other side
of anything
it does feel amazing it feels great it's
a huge
empowerment and a huge high that you get
off of knowing wow i got through that
i'm badass so
stop being so hard on yourself stop
expecting your body to look a certain
way you to be in a certain place in your
life
you know let go of the need to want to
fix
everything about you and just really
love yourself for who you are in this
moment because you're a human being and
we all deserve that nurturing that love
that compassion
that we give everyone else in our lives
and we need to be able to give it to
ourselves
so really learning how to like self
nurture yourself
and allow yourself to be a human being
is kind of a big thing
the next thing is changing your outlook
on your life
you know this again wasn't something
that i always struggled with but it was
something that
i saw a lot of people struggle with
where their outlook on their future
seemed so grim because of possibly
you know stuff that was going on inside
themselves in terms of low self-esteem
and low confidence and things of that
sort or possibly even some of the pain
from their past that they had to endure
whether that was family members parents
siblings friends someone betrayed you
you know your spouse left you or
whatever the case is
because of something that you've been
through you then live in a space as
what had happened what has happened to
me was so
awful and life's never going to be good
because i went through something like
that
so changing your attitude on life is
really you
knowing and feeling inside that you're
gonna be okay
that you have control over your life
that you can actually create the life
that you want and what life do you want
for yourself like having that type of
empowerment
we all have that within ourselves but a
lot of the times we get stuck
in this negative cycle of habitual
thinking that doesn't serve us
and being able to say you know what
my only goal for 2020 is straight up
changing my mindset
like focusing every single day on what
am i telling myself
um and being aware of the thoughts that
you're thinking and
nipping in the butt every single time
you say something or you think something
that is you know pushing you back
towards you feeling good
it's hard work that is hard
work and i always tell people if you
sign up to do this kind of stuff
number one it will change your life you
will feel amazing it's the best thing
that you can ever do for yourself but it
legit is no joke
it's the hardest thing that you'll ever
have to do because
you're trying to transform a lot
of old habits old programming that has
been embedded in you
for years is it doable yes
it is but it takes work it takes effort
every single day
so you know if right now you're going
through a tough spot and you're single
or whatever the case is
this is your time to only focus on
your mental health on you learning how
to be mentally healthy and emotionally
healthy
that's it so as much as you can every
single day
welcome being alone and welcome tackling
all of the kind of demons that are going
on inside that will allow you to feel
everything that you want to feel feel
that happiness you know
have the career that you want have the
relationship you really want to attract
um it really just starts with you the
next thing is self-parenting i talk
about this all the time but
self-parenting is basically the process
of you having
an inner dialogue with yourself so when
you can have dialogue with yourself
where you're talking to your fear
you know you've got fear on one side and
you've got the real you on the other
side the part of you that's like
unconditional love knows how to motivate
you believes in you
knows that you can do it knows you're a
good person i always like to say you
always have a good angel and a bad angel
and you're kind of in the middle and
you're trying to mediate this
conversation that's going on between
these two voices being able to
understand that whole process
is that process called self-parenting
that i like to call it
and being able to do that for yourself
it will literally change your entire
life one of the ways that i often tell
clients to kind of start this process
because it can be a little confusing in
the beginning understanding well who's
talking and there's a lot of voices
going on right now
because we do we have so many thoughts
every single day i want to say we have
about 75 000
thoughts in a day which is crazy and a
lot of the times you're not going to be
conscious of the fact that you're
thinking
um which makes it even harder so what i
always say is
at any moment during the day when you
start to not
feel good so i don't mean when you don't
feel like the happiest happiest ever i
just mean when you're not
when you're if you're not coasting
you're not feeling like okay i feel good
i'm cool like everything's good you know
i'm not like happy happy but
i'm cool if you're not feeling that
minimum
that if and if you're feeling anything
else beneath that
you want to know why why am i feeling
that way
and journaling is something that really
helps you to kind of like
unleash what's going on so if you know
that you're not feeling
at that minimum level that bare level of
like contentment
then if you ask yourself okay well why
do why don't i feel that way
a lot of the times because you haven't
done this work you haven't built a
relationship with yourself meaning
there's a part of you that doesn't trust
you because you probably always shame
yourself
and make yourself feel guilty etc that
when you ask yourself hey why do you
feel this way
nothing's really going to come up or you
might get i'm fine everything's fine i
don't know why i feel that way
just like you would if you were having a
discussion with a partner
that you don't really trust with your
feelings because oftentimes they shame
you
if that's the case what are you always
going to say to that person i'm cool
everything's fine because you know
they're not going to understand they're
not going to be able to be there for you
and it's no different with a
relationship with you within yourself
so being able to journal and kind of
write down
why do you feel this way there's
something about that process
that just unleashes everything that's
going on
in your mental space right or in your
emotional in your emotional space in
your heart space
so why do you feel that way i always say
if something comes back
if when you ask yourself why do you feel
that way and what comes back is i don't
know
keeping that why going why why don't you
know what's wrong what's bothering you
always coming from a place of concern
think about someone that you really
really love if you knew
you just knew just by looking at them
that they're going through something you
can tell by the look on their face
and they keep lying to you they keep
telling you i'm fine i'm fine
everything's fine
and you know they're not fine what would
you do would you just let them go
or would you keep being concerned would
you keep loving them to say
i feel like something's wrong i'm here
for you
what's going on and you would slowly
start to open up the lines of
communication
and hopefully they would eventually
begin to open up to you
so this process is literally the same
thing and journaling
journaling really really helps that
dialogue between yourself
the next thing and this was really huge
for me
when i was especially going through my
divorce is you have to find
ways healthy ways to manage your stress
levels
stress is a part of life it's going to
happen but what do you do
to help yourself during a stressful time
again
it's like that crisis kid the mental
health crisis kid
stress is going to be on that list what
do you do
to help yourself during a stressful time
for me
i had never worked out a day in my life
until after i had my son and i was going
through my divorce because
i literally had so much
feelings inside of me and therapy just
wasn't enough for me to just unleash to
someone for an
hour that i had to physically start
working out and i still
only work out for my mental health
i don't really do it for my physical
body even though i probably should
also put that on the list um i mean it's
great when you start to see results and
it becomes addictive when you start to
see results
but i still love food and i still love
to eat
but a lot of it i just know i feel
stressed right now i need to go for a
run i need to go for a walk i need to be
in nature
you know not just you know the physical
part of stress and handling you know
your physical body when you are going
through a stressful time but
knowing what do i need to give myself
you know maybe you need to plan a trip
maybe you need to just take a nap today
and really rest i always say the best
thing you can ever do for yourself to
really start taking care of yourself is
asking yourself every single day what do
i need today
because what you're going through today
is usually something that you went
through yesterday meaning if you went
through a stressful day yesterday it's
going to carry over a little bit in
today meaning
you might need to take care of yourself
a little bit because maybe yesterday you
didn't because you focused on the kids
or
you know you worked 12 hours that day it
was a stressful day at work
whatever it is so it's gonna carry over
a little bit into your next day and so
always staying in tune with yourself to
what do you
need today that will allow you to be
at your best that is really you taking
care of yourself right there
that is mental health and lastly i think
the best thing you can ever
do for yourself is just invest in
yourself when i say
you know make it a point every day to
ask yourself what you need spend
investing in yourself is so much it's
and give yourself
time to take care of yourself give you
know financially invest in yourself
whether that is coaching whether it is a
personal trainer
whether that that is a gym membership
whether that is taking a class
a pottery class that you always want to
do and starting a new hobby like
whether it's taking tennis lessons
whatever it is you know invest
in going on a trip with friends giving
yourself time away from
day to day mundane things of life or
work or stress or whatever
you know you deserve the vacation and
you deserve
you know going to a nice gym and
having someone tell you what to do so
you can get your physical body where you
want it to be
love yourself enough to give yourself
whatever it is that you can possibly
give yourself
um to show yourself that you're worth it
so i hope you guys have enjoyed this
video if you did please give it a thumbs
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private coaching with me i will link
everything down below you can contact me
there
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week
online course it's basically me coaching
you online i will also
link that down below so you can read
about what um what goes into my course
as well as private coaching
so i will see you next week
