Most people wholeheartedly believe that their
problems are unique, that no one else experiences
discomfort except themselves.
But reality implies that our daily worries
are in a sense identical.
the most common thought pattern among people
is agonizing about the past or the future:
"what if John dies tomorrow, who's going to
take care of me ?"
or
"What if this & this happens"
or the most popular one "why did I do that
yesterday, I should've done something else"
So this is a prevalent thought pattern that
not only is a waste of time but also makes
existence itself rather, miserable.
Apparently, people haven't yet found that
"exit button"
to stop worrying, to control their thoughts
& have the power to redirect their attention
as they please.
For most, this is considered impossible to
achieve.
However, there is a way to stop worrying.
It's "by ceasing to create time" around your
worries.
Before you get confused, Let me explain:
The future events you think might happen,
will never happen unless they pass by the
present.
Meaning that all future events can never occur
unless the time for them to occur has come.
Every single event you've experienced in the
past OR every event you will experience in
the future, all of these happen in the present.
All past experiences happened in front of
your eyes, likewise all future events will
happen in front of your eyes, in the present.
conclusion is, if all occurences take place
in the present, this means future events will
never happen unless they pass through the
present.
hence
why waste your time forcasting the happening
of a future event in your mind while the event
itself may or may never happen unless it passes
by the present?"
Let me question something "when is the last
time you've worried about brushing your teeth
?"
My guess is, never.
I've never seen someone say :" Oh tomorrow
I have to brush my teeth, this is a big problem"
"let me picture how it's going to turn out
for a sec, should I start brushing my upper
mouth first or my lower mouth first"
So Just like brushing your teeth or eating
dinner wich are activities you don't have
to worry about beforehand,
you should to apply that same carelessness
towards future problems & events.
Another example is people getting anxious
before their first date.
the remedy is:
"Why not WAIT for that future event(date)
to come to you, instead of vainly trying to
make it happen a certain way inside your head"
So the concept is simple:
It implies acknowledging that nothing happens
outside "the present" unless you are imagining
it to happen.
A future event will never happen unless the
time for it to happen has come.
So why the heck waste time thinking about
it ?
Wait for it to come to you, deal with it in
the moment instead of projecting yourself
to it with your thoughts.
Another great question to ask: "When's the
last time you've anticipated something to
happen & when it took place, it happened exactly
as you've expected" ?
the answer is none.
your expectation about the future, will never
mirror & reflect How it will actually occur.
The event you're worrying about, cannot match
how it's going to turn out in reality.
"Never let the future disturb you.
You will meet it, if you have to, with the
same weapons of reason which today arm you
against the present."
- Marcus Aurelius
Strive to accomplish your goals but remain
detached from them.
Meaning you work your ass off, you hustle,
but at the same time, you're happy with or
without achieving your goals.
And I can't stress this enough, because if
you think that happiness lies in achieving
future aspirations,
then by this you're also saying you're not
actually happy where you are right now.
A common belief is:
"when I accomplish this goal, I will be happy"
or "When this happens, I will feel much better"
So this is the trap.
You shouldn't attach joyfulness with your
goals.
Work hard, i'm not saying you shouldn't, but
your aspirations should be emanating from
a state of utter detachment.
-Cultivating this mindset can protect your
sanity.
I mean some people work hard & expect success
to happen.
but when they fail, they dive into an obscure
depressive state or worse turn insane.
So this is why it's crucial learning how to
be happy where you are right now, with or
without external accomplishments.
Work on your goals, focus on succeeding but
don't expect success.
Anticipate everything.
if you fail.
It's cool.
No big deal, try again.
if you succeed, it's cool as well, it doesn't
change anything.
You're happy either way.
So the first principle, is to stop creating
time around your worries.
Future events will never happen unless the
time for them to happen has come.
Everything happens in the present, nothing
happens outside the present.
if you managed to deal with hardships in the
past, what makes you doubt yourself for dealing
with future events ?
If you managed to survive up until this day,
why doubt surviving furthermore ?
self-trust is key.
Your worrying about a future happening will
never change how it will actually happen.
Your worries are pointless.
Second:
Work hard, but don't expect success, focus
on the joy & the growth you gain from the
process itself.
Even Victor Frankl alluded to this in man's
search for meaning.
He basically says & I'm paraphrasing here,
you should work on success but forget about
success.
when you attain Such a level of reasoning,
you are then, gratified & fulfilled wherever
you are, in the now, in the future, with your
goals or without them.
But this doesn't mean you should sleep all
day & success will come upon you.
No, work hard.
cultivate a sense of pleasure from working
in & of itself.
If you manage to internalize this principle,
wherever you are in the wheel of time,
Future, past or present, you will sustain
joyfulness.
Nothing external is needed.
