[Intro music]
You don't happen to own a cat, do you?
Well, almost owning a cat doesn't do me any good.
Yeah, I have a bit of a weird question for you. Do you have a cat?
All right, do you have any like really close friends who have cats?
Hank, I think we're gonna have to wait till Thursday on the cat licking.
Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday August 14th,
the day of my punishment.
Hi, can I have a hamburger happy meal please with an orange drink?
[Cashier]: Boy or girl?
Is it for a boy or a girl?
Uh, a girl.
We have gender-specific happy meals now. I don't think this represents progress, Hank.
How do you think this is gonna go?
[Sarah]: I think it's gonna go better than the chin wax.
Okay, with like one being
a baby pinched me and ten being I just waxed my chin, where do you think the pain is gonna fall?
[Sarah]: Five.
You think it's a five.
All right Hank, welcome to cooking with John Green.
Now I'm going to blend a happy meal. I got the orange drink. Something just told me that it was going to be better.
We're putting in some of the orange drink,
I'm going to save a little bit to help wash down the rest of what I'm about to do.
Open it up.
French fries.
Oh god, it's already gross.
Hamburger.
It's quite a lot of food actually!
We're ready to blend!
[Blender whirring]
Oh that, that just looks delicious. Like all the best parts of food plus all the best parts of liquid.
I see little bits of gristle, that's nice.
Ah God. [Sarah laughing.]
It just, just doesn't smell like something that you should be eating with a spoon.
[Sarah laughing]
I think I'm gonna puke. I only got one spoon in and I feel like puking.
[Sarah]: Eat spoonful after spoonful.
[Kenesaw Mountain Landis - Jonathan Coulton playing]
[Sarah laughing]
[Music keeps playing]
[Sarah laughing]
[Music keeps playing]
[John retching]
[Music keeps playing]
I'm really glad I didn't say say I'd eat a McDonald's extra value meal because that would have killed me.
I can see a little bit of pickle.
FINISHED.
No more happy meal.
No matter how much this hurts, little man, it's not going to be as bad as the last thing.
If you'd told me on January 1st 2007 that we would be doing this, I would not have believed you.
1, 2, 3, [wax rips], OHH! BOY!
Wow! That was not a five. That is not a five!
[Wax rips]
WUGGH.
[Wax rips]
NNNNNNGGGG.
[Wax rips]
OOO
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
I would rather wax my entire body, head to toe, than ever eat a blenderized Happy Meal ever again.
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
[Wax rips]
Last one.
One, two, three,
[Wax rips] HOO-AA
Hank, I have done some serious waxing.
And I'll see you singing tomorrow.
