I clearly remember the moment I fell out of love
I picked up the warm cup of cinnamon flavoured hot chocolate
On a cold windy day
While catching up with my cousins
Who had been away for months
As we scrolled through photos
Of the blue
In the Bosphorus
The incessant honks
From the street outside
Were drowned out
By a light acoustic version of
♪ I don’t wanna miss a thing ♪
The aroma of Jasmine
From the teapot on the next table
Filled the air
It’s fair
To say that
That day
Felt no different
From any other
Except
That there was
A chilly uneasiness
A stillness
In my system
No eager anticipation
For the face I hardly saw anymore
For the messages that tried so hard
To overcompensate
For the guilt
That always came a little too easily
And always left
A little too late
For worlds
That had tried so hard to intertwine
That they had become destined
To only exist in parallel
And suddenly
I felt
In my chest
A slow
Calm
Unfamiliar beating
Which made me realise
How used I had got to anxiety
And so
Sitting there
With the cold
Enveloping me like it was a warm blanket
With Jasmine that smelt like roses
With a love song from the 90’s
That suddenly stopped making sense
And started being beautiful
With a sense of self
I had never felt before
I
Let myself
Fall out of love
