

Contemporary Chick Lit. Romance

Published at Smashwords.com and Copyright 2014 CJ Hawk

This book contains material that is intended for adults.

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and strictly fictional. All persons, places or incidences are creative endeavors of the author and by no means are any viewpoints in this book a perspective of the author's lifestyle or opinions. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people without the author's permission. Cover and small amounts of text may be used for editorial reviews.

All that glitters is not gold

Walking past the line from thrift store shoes to Jimmy Choos was an easy line to walk over, until Lexi May is flat broke and dependent on everyone around her. Nothing like a sexy neighbor to help her get over her heartache until he expects her to woman-up and make the most of her life. Will she weep in her two hundred pairs of shoes while dancing around her room in her evening designer gowns, or will she take the first step in her kick ass boots to make a life for herself that she can be proud of building on her own. Money might make it easier but broken heart woos will spur her on. Come cheer for the brokenhearted as she turns all her glitter into gold.

Table Of Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Other Available Books

Book and Author Information

Prologue

Everybody has a time in their lives when they pout their lips, stomp their feet, let out some vulgar words from their mouth as their eyes pinch tight and anyone in their vicinity knows one thing is for sure - they are throwing a hissy fit.

My time came at THE worst possible time in my life. I settled into a way of life that pampered my every physical need. I felt as if everything I touched turned to glitter, yet something was missing in my soul, and I knew this time would come. Had I prepared for it, I would have not had to walk the journey that I dreaded. Knowing one's fate could turn bad at any moment and that preparation is the key to survival, I did not plan for what happened to me out of contentment mixed with fear. I internalized that if I did, then I knew it would happen, and if I didn't, perhaps my faith in myself would be tested... but not until I tested everyone who loved me first.

Some men marry not once, but twice, and more than often, the second time, they look for their holy grail, a younger woman. Some of those women just felt swept away with the romantic gestures often followed up with expensive gifts and abundance of luxury, attracted by the idea of marrying for wealth and not love. Some do; smart ones don't, but this is where I stepped into the picture seven years ago. I was the beautiful young naïve woman who thought an older rich man's love would last forever. Unfortunately, I was actually his third wife, and I signed a prenuptial agreement that only a chump would agree to. I was that fool.

My rich husband had resolved, by himself, unbeknownst to me, that his third wife, me, was last year's model, and decided to tell me I was traded in while I was out shopping on the most expensive street of retail shops downtown. The moment he chose to tell me, karma must have reared its ugly head at me as I stood in front of the very sales lady that I had grossly insulted, just ten minutes earlier.

With delusional fantasies that this is all a game playing joke on my husband's part, that he was just testing my faith and resolve to win him back, I squared my shoulders and began to flail around as if this was all a mistake on everyone else's part. As I got nowhere, I realized that the one thing he wanted from me, I was not going to do, so my whimsical bubbles began to pop, one little bubble at a time. I found myself in a large pile of evening ball gowns, surrounding by all my best friends, Kate Spade, Vera Wang, Jimmy Choo and the like. None of which could supply me with the tissues I needed to wipe away my tears.

I was not acting like a strong woman, but a pampered princess, when a handsome hero enters my unintentional new life. In that moment, I decided that a man is the last thing I need. Perhaps, I jumped too quickly to conclusions when the fairy godmothers were giving me a handsome hero for the good things I had done in life. I was out to destroy my life intentionally until I decided it was time to stand on my own two feet. Besides, why would I possibly need a strong muscular man who was great with his hands, kind with his words, and only looking after my best interest? His soft brown hair, unruly enough I wanted to run my fingers through it. His sparkling blue eyes that tease me with invites. Broad shoulders, narrowed defined waist, tight round ass, and a smile so wicked I could fall to my knees with one upward curve. Why would I need a man like that?

I know what you are thinking; Lexi May, don't be a fool twice!

Let me take you a few steps backwards into my life before telling you my story. I had always been the pretty princess in the family, gotten my way with men and things were often handed to me with white gloves on a silver tray from the male side of the world, while my older sister Kate was the brains and worked extremely hard to work her way up to the top. Not that she was not pretty, it was that her mind was set on intelligent prospects instead of how to flirt to seduce a man or what shoes go with what dress. She recently had her career success broadcasted across social media as the next major up-and-coming female business executive for a very prestigious company. Neither of us was raised rich nor privileged, in fact, we were raised by a poor single mother who nurtured both of our gifts, mine being social with an accent on fashion and parties, while Kate is extremely smart with a sense for business.

While my older sister Kate was running up the corporate ladder at a sprinter's pace, I took my average brain and pretty looks and sought greener pastures that were already mowed; older men who married once and now just wanted to feel younger. I was no fool as to why Clyde had picked me as his young bride at twenty-two and failing college. I knew I did not have a much better chance than working minimum wage plus good tips based on cleavage the rest of my life, therefore Clyde looked pretty dang good with my money goggles on.

Seven years later at the turn of almost thirty, I was starting to show signs that dollars did not make a happy marriage, and neither did a controlling husband with quirky sexual habits. I began, outwardly, to show some signs of an unhappy marriage by lashing out criticism at the worse possible moments, causing my husband to limit my credit card spending and virtually invest all of his free time with his new mistress. I was not blind, nor a fool in this marriage, just fiscally irresponsible and unable to grasp at the truth before me, oblivion surrounded me in glittery gold. However, the relief I got from therapy shopping allowed me the distance I craved from the very man I once saw as my knight in shining armor.

As I was pampered all day with chef prepared healthy meals, spa procedures and my only job was to look glamorous on my husband's arm while socializing at a constant stream of entertaining events, it was a hard life. No really, it was. I had to make sure I adorned myself in the most expensive dress there that no other woman might be wearing. I had to walk around in high heels all day when Clyde was around. I had hair extensions that gave me migraines. I had a maid who would only talk to me in Russian, and I am pretty sure she said nasty things to me with a smile like I am her best friend. My Puerto Rican hot-bodied gardener flaunted his muscular body, while flirting with me on the one day out of the week that he came to work on our landscaping, which caused me to spend all day fantasizing that there was no Clyde, and I was extremely sexually satisfied. As of late that was not something Clyde was interested in doing... satisfying me sexually, unlike the days when we first met, and he romanced me like a rich man in a classic novel.

Well, I was about to be in for an extreme dose of reality. Not only was I being dumped as the third wife, I was reminded that my prenuptial was to leave me with barely enough to live on, at least at the standards I had become accustomed to.

When I turned to my sister Kate for help, I got very little sympathy mixed with a stern reminder that I am almost thirty and my life has plenty of time to start anew.

While I scramble like a bratty toddler to find a reasonable priced place to live, a job that pays more than minimum wage, my sister Kate gets a career altering shock that leaves her unemployed. All due to my soon to be ex-husband's evil plan to rock both of our worlds loose from the reality of success we thought we were living. As I walk around pouting in my Jimmy Choos, my ex-husband is plotting evil plans against me and anyone I love.

As long as I could remember, the two of us had always been there for each other. Well, to be exact, I helped her with looking fashionable and flirty while she always bailed me out in the smarts department when I would let her. She always reminded me there was more to just someone's looks and tried to get me to find my way in life that would make me happy. We were now being put to the true test of sisterhood. We were about to embark on being unemployed roommates.

Things were trudging along quite well until the day we had to move our belongings into one place together and one particular man, our sexy new neighbor, riled me up into a heated conversation while moving into our rental on a hundred degree day.

I suppose any normal woman when presented with a very sexy man might decide to act upon the opportunity. Not I. I was sure that I could finesse my way back into Clyde's life and go right back to the life I had been living. This was extremely hard while my sexy neighbor would wink or smile like he could show me a thing or two about hot sultry sex, which had me worked up into a heated mess. Our casual conversations that always turned heated, first sexually until I felt frustrated, kept any sensual experiences at bay. That is, until I found myself in a predicament where I needed his help and not more than once.

While Kate is trying to keep us both focused on being employed, I keep finding ways to rouse up the neighbor for a distraction.

What happens when life throws you a curve ball, and you are pretty sure your options are not as glittery glamorous as you think? Putting on a princess tiara, waving a magic wand would be my first choice; however, I am in for one long foot stamping hissy fit, while wearing all of my glittery gold, if you know what I mean.
Chapter One

"Lexi May! This better be an emergency because I am about to go into a merger with a team of coworkers in five minutes." I heard Kate exclaim with exasperation in her voice as she used my middle name only on occasions when she is agitated with me. She had come to know that my emergencies usually consist of a broken nail or worse, death of my hairdresser, which actually happened not too long ago right before a big event. It was disastrous to say the least.

I tried to wipe the free flow of tears from my honey brown eyes as I stood at the sales counter made of sleek frosted glass inside the very expensive boutique where my credit card was declined as my husband texted me that my life as I knew it was over.

Over a text!

As I stood there with a declined credit card, a nasty looking sales woman glorifying in this fact because I had just been extremely rude to her ten minutes ago, I was trying to find a way to speak up into the phone to explain to my sister Kate, not only what happened, but to ask for her credit card number, so I could walk out with my purchase. Running my fingers through my long blonde hair with a flirtatious forgive me smile to the sales clerks was not helping me any.

"He finally did it." I puffed out in staccato toned words in a hushed tone while holding my phone away from everyone and covering my mouth with my hand.

"Did what?" She sounded exasperated and then I heard her talking to someone in the background about needing ten copies and please make sure the food is already delivered to the boardroom. "Listen Lexi, I don't know who did what this time, but I really can't talk right now and having you text me a 911 to say what, you broke a nail and the sky is falling is frustrating to say the least. Fix the nail Lexi. I gotta go." Then for the first time in ages, Kate hung up on me.

My eyes popped open wide in unison with my mouth, while I looked at my cell phone like it had just sprouted an alien out of it. I mentally grumbled out the words to WTF as my eyes began to pinch tight and my mouth closed into a flat lined pursed smile. I gathered my strength to turn and face the fact that my life was like a crystal ball that just got dropped onto a marble floor and was shattering.

I looked at the two sales ladies waiting to see if I had a way to pay for the purchases I wanted, and then I caught my reflection in the mirror behind them. I looked horrid. Not even my makeup looked fresh. There, around my eyes, appeared to be fresh stress wrinkles that were not there when I was in the dressing room after trying on twenty dresses. My recently styled hair with a fresh blowout, looked frizzy. My honey brown, normally sparkly, eyes had a dark shadow to them. My natural blonde number 101 color looked like I took dry shampoo and dulled it of its luster and shine. As I ran my fingers through my hair out of nervousness, one of my extensions came loose. What on earth was happening here? How was I ever going to deal with this? Was he really leaving me for her, that woman I knew he had been seeing? She was only three years younger to my twenty-nine years of age, so what was it that she had going on that I did not? Deep down, I knew that answer and did not want to logically deal with it.

The two sales ladies cleared their throats in unison and then the taller very skinny brunette spoke up in a concise and clear demeaning tone. "I must ask you to leave if you have no way to pay for these purchases."

Just as I tried to squawk out a word in an audible sense, the designer eveningwear boutique's doorbell chimed that a registered guest wanted in through the front locked door. I turned to see who was standing at the glass doors when a spark of hope ignited my soul. There on the street side of the doors was my good friend and my husband's boss's wife, Monique. I quickly formulated a plan to make up some story about the credit card as they let Monique in through the doors as if she was the princess of England.

I turned and rushed towards her acting as if it was a perfectly normal day of shopping. "Monique darling. How wonderful to see you here today? Kiss-kiss." I dabbed a small smooch on each cheek as we barely touched each other. This was a normal greeting for us. We always acted as if we were best friends and knew everything about each other, but I knew, deep down, that once Clyde and I were over, so was Monique's relationship with me. I was hoping that she knew nothing had transpired yet.

Ten minutes later, without much fuss, Monique in her recently blown out long brown extensions, manicured nails and evening gown purchase she had already reserved, was paying for my purchase as well. She made extreme light of these funny things happening with credit cards, while the sales ladies looked on in disbelief that a casual friend would just drop a thousand dollars without so much as you owe me big girl remark.

We walked out practically hand in hand, carrying our packages and laughing. As soon as the boutique doors closed behind us, Monique turned to me and her game face was gone. "Listen Lexi. It's already spread like wild fire. Those ladies in there probably already knew that Clyde was doing this before you got the text today." She put up a hand to me in a stop motion as I was about to say something. "Please don't ask me how I know, but I can say this. That woman, Clyde's new arm candy, will be sitting in your registered spot at the Children's Fundraiser tonight, and I will have to make small talk and forget about what just happened here today. I have to think if it was me, you would do the same." She puffed out quickly and then looked around nervously as if she did not want to be seen with me.

I blinked back tears rapidly. I swallowed hard and whispered to her. "Absolutely, I would do the same. I just have not quite got the jest of what just happened."

Monique turned her head in a cocked fashion and gave me a 'you have got to be kidding me look'. "Please tell me that you are not that naive. You have been saving your spending allowance like a good little girl so that you are not left penniless. You did, didn't you?"

I did not.

As I frowned, Monique quickly added as she was glancing around frantically behind me. "Well, thank goodness you have a prenup. Just stick to the rules, and you will be fine. You will be back in your Valentinos, standing tall with another rich shmuck in no time." She let out a huge puff of air and looked me straight in the eyes. "Sorry. That was crass. You are better off without the jerk. Just be careful."

I gave a wry smile and then looked around for my driver. He was gone. I was on Fifth and Broadway, holding several expensive packages in my hands, and I had no driver, no place to go and an 'only your friend when you are rich' friend who was starting to walk away. "I'll call you Lexi. Truly, I will, but I have this thing." Then she was gone. The chauffeured black town car that was waiting for her had a door open. As soon as she sat inside, it could not have closed fast enough behind her.

This thing. Those last two words hung in the air around me like a noose over my neck. Everyone knew that women like us always had these things to do, to see, to attend. Was I not a friend enough for her to take a moment and give me a shoulder to cry on? I looked down at my feet as I noticed a large sticky substance had found its way to the bottom of my recent purchased Sarah Jessica Parker heels. I took a step to the side and found a cement base of a light post to scrap my shoe inconspicuously until it seemed to have come off. This little matter I just incurred was the least of my issues; however, it gummed me up precisely the same because I loved those shoes.

Like a bird that flies smack into a clear glass window, I felt the pain of sudden intensity. What the heck just happened to me? I had no money saved up or set aside, because I always felt the money pit was bottomless. No driver, since I had not driven myself since the day I married Clyde. No car, for that very same reason. I had a prenuptial that stated I got a small monthly payment of alimony for a short period, of like two years, as long as I did nothing to break the six hundred commandments that Kate had read through for me on the prenup. Oh boy! Kate was going to tell me she was right about this for the next fifty years of our life or longer unless her smart brain goes berserk in old age, which it probably will not.

I stood there for at least five minutes in the hot summer sun out on the sidewalk thinking to myself, what is next? At first, I felt the vibration in my palm of my hand, but it did not register that my phone was ringing on silent. It was the second set of vibrations that alerted me to the fact that someone was calling me. I looked at the caller id and there was my husband's, well soon to be ex-husband's, executive secretary. I felt shivers trickle through my spine out of fear of what was to come next. I hit the answer button on my iPhone and put it to my ear with hesitation to my voice. "Uh... hello?"

"Lexi. The driver will pick you up in five minutes. He will take you to the house where you will need to pack what you can into the luggage I have laid out for you. You are registered at the Hilton for the next month until the divorce will be finalized. I have a set of instructions for you at the hotel in writing as to what will happen next. Please read through them carefully, or you will find yourself homeless and penniless. Better yet, have your sister Kate read them. Good bye."

I did not even get a chance to breathe, let alone speak back, but then again, that was Helga. A German born six foot steel tank that ran my husband's, oops soon to be ex-husband's, business like a well-oiled machine. I suppose I should have figured nothing less would have happened, and it only made sense that I was still a puppet on a string until this was all over. Yet, I was still standing here looking at my silent phone wondering, why, and is there a chance I could get him back.

I found myself thinking hard about the last few months and how we had barely spoken since my outburst in front of his other employees at the dinner party. He was so embarrassed from my remarks. I disregarded it with the fact that I had been drinking just a wee bit too much that night. After that, I found a way to relieve my guilt over my drunken display with shopping. It was as if I was on a mission to see if I could max out his high credit limit.

Just as my black town car with darken windows stopped in the no parking zone in front of me; I got a text from Clyde. I put the phone in my purse and figured I might want to read it in private. The driver came around in his dark black suit, black drivers cap low, and opened the door for me. I handed him the packages of my recent purchases as if this was just an ordinary day of shopping. However, he always greeted me with a 'Hello Mrs. Nubbin. Good day of shopping?' remark. Today, I got no greeting or a smile, just a soft close of the rear car door after I sat inside and the resounding echo of the trunk slamming shut with all my purchases.

The long drive home was daunting. I still had not wanted to look at the text from Clyde, but I did, just as we pulled up the driveway. "Be a good girl. Follow the rules. Don't make a scene. Pack what you need, you can get the rest later once you find a place to live, and Lexi, this is for the best, nothing personal."

Nothing personal, frigga fracket. I could have thrown that phone through the safety glass window between the driver and me, but I did not. Instead, I felt horns growing out of my forehead, steam flowing from my nostrils, and black belt kick ass kind of feeling tingle through my body. I was going to trash his office, or something!

As soon as the car stopped and the engine was turned off, I knew that was not going to happen. Clyde knew my temper as I had been known to trash an item or two when I was pissed. There in front of our once together forever home, was two hired bodyguards, presumably to be next to me at all times. One was of Asian descent, and I was pretty sure he could karate chop my body into a tiny blue Tiffany box if he had to. The other guy was Puerto Rican looking, and if we were in a salsa dance club, I would want to cha-cha all over his lethal looking body. Neither one of them gave me a second glance nor a smile. I gulped hard and heard an internal slow puffing sound as if all my steam was leaving my body. I felt crushed.

In my dressing room, on the floor next to my recently purchased dark royal purple chenille couch, was my champagne colored twelve-piece travel luggage set. Behind me, was the Asian bodyguard, and in front of me was the Puerto Rican bodyguard; both with feet shoulder width apart, both with their arms crossed, and both with a look of deterrence if I did anything stupid. I felt crushed that Clyde actually thought I would do something crazy, and then I laughed aloud to myself with a long-winded chuckle. Of course I would have trashed something of Clyde's if these two goons were not standing here. Consequently, I guess it was the smartest way to do this. Just as I was opening all my suitcases to begin my packing ritual as if I was going on a normal three week vacation to the Bahamas, or some long ski vacation, my phone chirped with a text from Kate. 'What was the emergency?'

I sat down on the purple chenille couch, wishing I could pack it in my suitcase and wondering how to tell Kate the bad news. I finally took a deep breath and clicked a few keys. "Clyde kicked me out. I'll be at the Hilton. It's over. His call."

Kate quickly texted back. "His loss. C U 2nite!" Then she put a smiley emoticon of a pink kitten head that would smile then stick its tongue out then smile again. I laughed to myself while sitting in my huge dressing room. It felt good. I had Kate on my side, and I was sure that Clyde was going to take care of me financially until I could win him back. I got up off the couch humming as I pushed my hands hard off my knees with my phone in one hand. As soon as I felt my shoulders go back as if I was confident about the next temporary phase in my life; I was feeling better. I was going to win Clyde back and remarry him without a prenuptial, and then find a way to make my mark in this world. I tossed my phone onto the couch, next to the biggest suitcase. I had some packing to do but first, I needed to look my best doing this. I excused myself to my master bathroom.

I approached the two neanderthals that were watching over me like guardians. "Gentleman, I need to freshen up. If you must attend the bathroom with me, so be it, but it is my bathroom, and Clyde's is on the other side of the master bedroom." They did not move as they nodded their heads as if they understood.

Twenty minutes later, I looked like I could have walked the red carpet for leading actress in a kick ass motion picture. If I was going to the Hilton under hushed rumors of what was happening, I was going to look glamorous and well kept. My long blonde hair was styled in big soft curls. My honey brown eyes were played up with a dark and sultry eye makeup. I had on my new black designer jeans with my six hundred dollar black high heels that had a pewter engraved metal tip on the front. My black sheer top showed only the slight presence of a black lace bra holding up my c cup gals that Clyde bought me on my twenty-third birthday. As soon as I completed packing, I had on a black leather jacket and a hell of a lot of bling to adorn myself with. The weather high reached ninety-two degrees, but when you feel justified, and you need a kick ass feeling, black is back baby.

Five hours later, night had fallen; the air had cooled just enough, and I was having my bags packed into the black town car at the very same time I might have been heading out to the fundraiser event with Clyde. The driver was holding the door open for me as the two bodyguards remained at the top step of the front door with that same threatening look of defense. I stood in the open car door with one foot about to step inside, resting on the doorframe and one on the ground. I internally asked myself, was this it? Was this the last time I was going to see the house that I helped select with Clyde? The house that I had called home and spent needless hours decorating with only the finest and most expensive of things. "Only the best for you my love." Clyde would say when I would ask for his opinion. That saying had not rung true in my ears for several months. Clyde had been hurt with my hissy fit attitude, and he went looking elsewhere for love. He found it, but I was sure that I could grovel my way back into his arms.

I nodded to the house with a smile and soft-spoken words of confidence. "I'll be back love. I'll be back."

The drive away from my house felt odd; my heart ached for my home and not Clyde. Had I really started to love my life and home more than I loved Clyde? I felt a tear anchor itself at the corner of my left eye as I willed it away with a huge intake of breath, telling myself that somewhere in my heart it had all started with love. It had, had it not? Was I just looking for a way out of bartending and tedious college courses I was not good at, when Clyde came into my life? When we first met he had been such an incredible lover, knowing just how to please me, then again, I was twenty two and the skill level of college men was not quite where I liked it.

As time went on and our marriage celebrated a few anniversaries, deep down, I loved the security he gave me, knowing that financially I would never have to work or look at a price tag again. He had become more controlling as the years went by, and I had become more assertive in expressing my disdain. It was not until our lovemaking turned an incredible corner into a deep dark alley that I felt I had to stomp my feet and express my discourse about his sexual desires, all at a very bad opportune time for Clyde. That was my first and biggest mistake; obviously, it was the turning point for us.

Thinking back, I had to wonder why I had not saved one single shiny dime in case this very thing happened to me. I was raised by a frugal single mother who taught both of us girls how to stretch a dollar and be wise with our time and money. Why had I never sent her money to thank her for raising us? Instead, I sent lavish gifts of crystal, jewels and art. None of which she would have wanted or needed.

I was beginning to feel the sounds of regret pinging through my head. What I had to do was let the waters calm, go back begging to Clyde for forgiveness and a second chance, once doing so, I had to be wiser the second time around with my money and gifts. I had to find a way to work perhaps, even if volunteer work and find a way to plan for the 'what if' scenario if it happened again.

I felt a renewed confidence with in my last thoughts. I could win Clyde's heart back. I will be back in my home soon. I will save in the future instead of spending needlessly on shopping for things I already had ten of. I will make my mark in the world, be it with volunteering or going back to school and become successful in a career. Clyde had never wanted kids, but perhaps a child in our life could bond us. There was once something there between us, I needed to find it and get it back in place. I needed to rewind back to where we were before things fell apart, and get us back on track.

Something deep in my soul ached with misgivings. I knew there was no going back. I knew that a child could not cure our problems. Somehow, I knew, that if I had to do it all over again, I would do it a lot differently. For now, I needed to just try and make the most of what just happened to me. As long as I had Kate, I would be ok.

I let the drive to the hotel calm me while telling myself that this was like any other trip away from home. Deep down, I knew it was not. My glitter was gone.
Chapter Two

The Hilton appeared faster than I had hoped. There was a wedding taking place with a huge gathering of a crowd in the front lobby area. The driver had a hotel worker arrange my luggage set on a baggage shuttle, and then he handed him some cash and told him to take me directly to my room. I looked surprised when the driver handed the room key to the hotel clerk. I did not even have to wait in line and check in. Clyde, or Helga, wanted to make sure I did not make a scene, or that I was just well taken care of until things calmed down. I was hopeful for my second thought about that insight.

With the notion that I needed to keep my head high and my confidence up so that things would be back to normal and soon, I took off my black leather jacket, tossed it onto the pile of luggage on the cart. I looked around the area, flipped my hair back a bit as I let my chin ride high, my smile tight and rigid look like I meant business. I was going to walk into the Hilton as if I owned it and not give anyone a chance to confront me. If the news had hit the social media, there could be communist journalists out there looking for a scoop to turn this story over for some cash.

The moment I stepped into the front area of the hotel, there was movement from several guests dressed up in tuxedoes and formal wear, loitering around as if the wedding reception had spilled out of its reception room. One very handsome man with slicked back soft brown hair and piercing blue eyes was staring at me. I let myself have a super-fast glance his way but did not linger long enough to burn his image into my brain. I did not need to be caught eyeing other men when my husband needed retraining on how important I was to his life. I was important? I think. Or perhaps, I was just as replaceable as his cars. That thought hit a resounding ping of regret into my heart as my head decided I needed to put on a brave face and pretend. Pretend that I was still important. Pretend that I had places to go and people to see, when really it was going to be me and the mini bar hamming it up until I passed out with drunken regret.

I walked back to the bank of elevators at a brisk pace, keeping my eyes focused ahead of me and not towards the dashingly handsome man in a black tuxedo that I just passed. I noticed his eyes stayed on me until I could no longer keep him in my peripheral vision. Another time, another life, and I would have made the opportunity to meet the man. Right now, my focus is on believing it was all ok, and that I was still Mrs. Clyde Nubbin.

The minute I tossed myself onto the plush king-sized bed, I mumbled out to no one in particular in the room. "Who am I kidding? It is over. I messed up." I stared at the ceiling and pretended I was not in my current state of predicament. That lasted all of five minutes before I rolled out of bed to get a drink from the mini bar. In doing so, I caught my engraved silver tip of the front of my heel on the hotel bedspread, twisting my ankle, which landedg me flat on the hotel floor with my shoe dangling off the comforter by the metal tip. I did not let this temporary glitch deter me from eying the mini bar fridge full of alcohol like it was a shoe sell. I needed a drink and that mini bar was stocked with the best. This was one moment that I felt my bravado kick in and my wits found a way to get me over there. Mini bar here I come.

Time flies when you are having fun with yourself.

The knock on my hotel door sounded indistinguishably like Kate's personal sing song knock. I thought about jumping up on one foot, supported by the dresser. I pondered how long it would take to get me there if I used the support of the wall and only one foot, longer than Kate would want to wait as I heard her voice call out to me through the door. "Lexi? You in there? The front desk said you checked in hours ago."

I hollered out to let her know I would be a minute or two. "Hey Kate. I'll be a minute." I waited a second and added the last part for good measure. "Or sha-longer."

Even to my own ears, I could hear the echoing sounds of a not so sober person. Therefore, I was not shocked when she replied back. "Put the booze down and come open the door." A light chuckle came through the hotel door. She sounded more amused than upset over Clyde dumping me and our marriage.

I was still sober enough to take a screen shot of my swollen ankle, texted it to her, and then set my phone down on the floor next to my ten empty mini bottles of random booze, honey whiskey being my favorite. I pushed myself up against my bed with one foot supporting me and hopped my way over to the door. By the time I opened it, Kate was standing there looking entertained by this business, which is now my life.

She was laughing lightly, and I was perturbed. "What? It is not funny. Hotel bedspreads can be very dangerous." I mocked the words as if I was serious.

She walked past me and looked around the average hotel room. "I don't even want to know how a hotel bedspread caused your ankle problem." Then she saw the heel with the metal tip on the front of the v-point of the shoe and had an epiphany moment. "Yep. That could do it. At least, you did not have far to fall. Digs are nice but not the normal royal prince treatment." That statement held so much truth to it. The room was an above average hotel room suite but not the usual presidential style suite that Clyde and I always stayed in. I had gotten so used to that luxury, which was nothing like I was born with, so why did going back to average seem so bad.

By the time I had turned and half hobbled my way towards a chair, Kate rushed over and helped me to sit in an overstuffed chair and ottoman in beige corduroy. It was plush and soft to my slightly drunken body, but it had not seemed worth the effort before when I could crawl to the mini fridge between drinks and then quickly lean back against the very king size bed I had just fallen off of.

"Where's your room key?" Kate asked as she took command of the situation. "I'll get you some ice on that." She pointed to my foot with a slight grin on her face. I could almost read her internal thoughts at my expense.

I pointed to the room key on the dresser and winced in pain.

I watched her walk over and pick up the key and put it in her navy blazer pocket. God how that jacket is so not fashionable. I thought I had tossed it in donation several years back, but she must have pulled it out. By the time she made it to my bed, I was mentally thinking of the next time I cleaned her closet out for her, while she was taking an extra two pillows off the bed. She walked towards me and then put them under my feet. I watched my caring concerned sister in motion. The aid to the chair, the pillows, and then after she came back with the ice in a plastic trash bag tied with a knot, I knew that she was going to help me through this mess I found myself in.

With ice on my ankle, another drink with ice in a cut glass this time, I watched Kate as she went into protective older sister motion. She had her copy that she made of our prenuptial in her hands. She was reading bits of it aloud while walking back and forth in the room. It was as if she was looking for something to help me out in my predicament. "So." She started with a stern voice when she stopped and looked at me in my sad state. "How much cash do you have on hand?"

I held up my hand in the shape of a zero. I had been meaning to stop at the bank, but why bother when the credit card always worked. Besides I was terrible with cash, even back in my old days of bartending I was awful at giving the correct change.

"Ok." Her voice held concern as her head tilted a bit and looked at me as if I was an amusement park oddity like a woman with a beard. "Did you ever start contributing to that savings account I set up for you at the bank?"

I chuckled thinking how she took my driver's license and opened the account as me. When the teller questioned who she was in her brown hair and blue eyes when my driver's license clearly stated blonde hair and brown eyes, and I was a bit skinnier than her at the time, it had been an interesting story. Looking at her now, I am really proud of her thirty pound weight loss over the last year.

"I'll take your laughing silence as a, no I did not." She looked sternly at me in disbelief, probably hoping that I would say something like why yes I actually did sister. Instead, she squared her shoulders and glared at me while her words sounded as if they were loaded with bitterness. "You never put any money into it?" Each word came out like a question in itself.

"Sha-nope." My buzz was starting to blur words while my sister seemed to be exceedingly annoyed with my life choices over the last seven years.

Her voice raised up a notch as her eyes squinted a bit. "That shoe you have dangling from the comforter over there, is probably worth a couple hundred. Would it have killed you to put just a couple hundred away every month? Christ, Lexi. You have to have at least a million dollars in clothes and shoes alone that you have purchased over the last seven years, not to mention what it cost to decorate that house of yours."

Her last few words caused tears in my eyes to tumble down my cheeks and an outpour of sobs that created inaudible sounds using the word home. "My blome... shome...my shalome...ohm."

Kate quickly rushed over and sat on the ottoman where my foot was resting on with pillows. "Listen, Lexi. I feel really bad for you. I do. If there is one thing, we both know is how to rise above a mess and start over. This is your start over button. It's not as bad as you think. Two years of your alimony is more than some people make. Five thousand dollars a month, tax free mind you, is a lot of money for two years. Save that up, minus cheap rent and maybe sell off some of those evening gowns you'll never need, and you have plenty to go back to community college, finish your degree and get a career that will make you happy."

I continued to cry out like I was in pain. "But being Clyde's wife made me happy. I worked hard at building that house."

Kate looked agitated as she took a deep breath and patted the knee of my twisted ankle. "Whelp. It's not completely over."

She had more to say, but I sat myself upright with my hands to the arms of the chairs and beamed with pride as I bolted out the next words. "I'm going to win him back. You'll see."

I knew that Kate had no words for what she felt was a huge mistake. Over the last seven years, she had been my go to girl when I felt things falling apart. More times than I can count, she would ask me. 'Do you love him?' I always paused before answering and when I did, I started my reply with, I love my life; I love my house; I love my freedom. It was hard after year three to admit, honestly, that I truly loved Clyde. I never lied to my sister, and I knew exactly how she felt. This was a long time coming. I guess if I really looked at it from her point of view, she was right, however, I was not done with the marriage... yet.

I watched her get up and grab the black one inch binder with Helga's well typed rules for living through the prenuptial stages for the next two years. There was the immediate evacuation of property stage. The, no showing up at social or work functions stage. The meeting with the lawyer's etiquette and no mention of our sex life, combined with the signing of the divorce and how to be a good ex-wife for the next two years. All rules must be followed, or I would stop receiving alimony. I had browsed through the chapters of the two hundred page document wondering how long it took Helga to have this put together and when did Clyde actually decide that it was over between us. That thought made me realize it had been for several months. I began to sob uncontrollably as Kate reached into her purse and pulled out a pill bottle.

Two painkillers later for the twisted ankle and I was dozing off to the sound of Kate reading off bits and pieces of the guidelines for which I was to follow. The last few words I heard before I was sound asleep had something to do with, 'I really think once you are sober we need to figure out your next move.' I remember thinking how incredible it was of Kate to be here for me and help me figure all of this out. Kate is smart. She would know the best moves to make. Even having her keep her own copy of the prenuptial proved to me that she had my best interest as heart. With Kate by my side, I was going to get through this until Clyde either took me back, or... I faded off thinking of what the 'or' in my life could be. Or what?

The next morning, I found myself cuddled up under the plush comforter of my bed in my black underwear and lace bra. My ankle still throbbed, but it was not too swollen that I could kind of walk on it if I did not wear any shoes. There was a text from Kate to call her if it was a dire emergency. She had meetings all day, and that I should not look at the entertainment sections on line that are blogging about the Nubbins breakup.

Well, that was like an open invitation to go engine searching for my name on my phone. There I was scattered across the social news media in some of my worse ever pics, stating things like 'gone to fat farm', 'needed a mental break', 'lied about age so hubby left her' and my least favorite of all, 'time to trade her in for a new model'. That last one really irked me to the point of screaming as it was basically true. Once my hollering stopped sounding like a caged monkey, I noticed my bedside phone ringing at the same time someone was knocking on my door.

"Lexi-May Cardinal? Is everything alright in there?" I had to blink several times in unison with my head feeling as if it got shocked with a stun gun. Nobody had called me by my maiden name since before I was married and not certainly the hotel staff. I reached over and grabbed the ringing phone as I shouted out to the door. "I'm fine and it is still Mrs. Nubbins to you sir." Although I was not completely sure that the voice behind the door was a man's, it was just a more masculine voice. I did not care if I was being rude. I was mad that they called me by my maiden name.

"Hello?" My voice came out harsh and crisp through the phone. For good measure, I added who I was to the caller knowing it was most likely the front desk calling to see if everything was ok in the room. "This is Mrs. Lexi Nubbins."

The caller spoke professionally and took a quick cue from the tone of how I addressed the caller. "Mrs. Nubbins? We have complaints of screaming coming from your room. Is everything alright?"

I paused. That was a loaded question that held so much emotion and disdain at this very moment as I was seeing the pictures of the new mistress on Clyde's arm. She was a flat chested skinny brunette. He swore to me that he preferred curvy yet skinny blondes with boobs, or I would not have gone through so much effort to become one and stay one. She was tall and slender but so was I. She had on a dress that if I am not mistaken was my last year's award ceremony dress, a sexy red number thing that came straight off of the fall fashion design exclusives. Although, after last year, I noticed there were so many replicas of that dress in stores all over, it could just be that, a fake.

I heard the voice question me once again, politely and concerning. "Is everything alright in your room Mrs. Nubbins or do we need to call security?"

I blurted it out and then slammed down the phone. "I am just peachy. Thanks." However, I was not, and who would be if they were me. They would have screamed, shouted and then thrown something. I had nothing in my hand but my phone to throw, and I needed that for researching exactly what was happening in my life.

I need not be the fool, but I was.

I had seen this happen to so many before me with other couples of the same status as Clyde and myself. I always commented that it was such a shame while I internalized that I feared the very same and assured myself that I would not let that ever happen to me, yet here I was.

I laid back into my bed and decided that sleep was the only option that would not get me into trouble and cause me any pain. So I slept until late that night until Kate came knocking at the hotel door.

Kate ordered up room service as she was hungry from working all day without a meal, and it was past eight p.m. She talked about the Friday night traffic in downtown being awful all hours of the night, and if she did not have to be in the office at ten am on a Saturday, she would have crashed out here with me.

I ate the chef salad with grilled chicken that she ordered, to be nice, but I had zero appetite. If anything good came out of this, I would lose ten pounds as I never had an appetite when I was this upset; then again, I did not have ten pounds to lose as I had spent endless hours at the gym to retain this current state of a lean body. I put my fork down, walked like a sideways waddling duck as to avoid pressure on my foot over to the room phone.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked as she took her eyes off the list of rules that Helga had typed up. I was certain that Kate wanted to make sure that I did not break a single one of those rules. Making a scene at the hotel could have been one of them, but I really did not care.

"Ordering up a thick juicy steak, mashed potatoes loaded with gravy, a side of a butter slab for rolls and a dessert." I spoke triumphantly as if I was the first starved woman to ever think about gaining a few pounds as revenge.

"Oh. Alright." She spoke softly and as if to question my stability. I knew that by tomorrow, I would be finding a way to work it all off. I created a vicious cycle for myself. The day I met Clyde, I was thirty pounds heavier and more worried about push up bras for my A' cups than actual max calorie burning push-ups. My, how my life changed in such a short time. I was not going back to my lazy days of no work out and eat what I like twenties, but I was going to enjoy an indulgent or two. I was almost thirty now and exactly a couple of weeks approaching that date. I needed to grow up a bit.

By the time I actually ordered the room service juicy steak, that I so triumphantly announce to Kate what I was going to eat, was far different than what came out of my mouth. I ordered a children's menu cheeseburger, hold the cheese - I changed my mind, and a child size sundae. I knew with no appetite that there was no way I could polish off a steak and regular dessert. I internalized that there was still the chance that I could win Clyde back.

"Hold the press. Dumpee goes all out on food binge over her rich hubby's mistakes." Kate laughed as she spoke like an old time broadcaster making fun of what I was doing. Then she added in a more sisterly serious tone. "Listen, Lexi. It is his loss, but really, you only have a free income to gain. Not to mention if you keep your p's and q's in place than you will get all of the things you purchased over the timeframe of the marriage that is unless it is a household good. Apparently, those are non-negotiable. The purple dressing room couch, apparently he wants nothing to do with. There is a note here that he found it horrid. I personally found it to be very fashionably chic and adorable, but then again, I always hated Clyde's tastes in things. Well, except for you. You're a catch, and he knew it. Now you can be somebody else's catch." I knew her insinuation had to do with not wanting me to try to win him back. I gave her a frowned face with a pouty lip. She ignored me and continued on.

"Really if you look at this list that Helga typed up for you, its basic proper etiquette and manners. Don't visit his office. Don't talk about his sexual habits that not everyone else might think is ok. Don't shop at all of the places you used to shop, although you can't if all the cards are canceled. Don't call the press, alert the media, and most importantly try to keep a low profile. There are a few other crucial points in here, but I don't see you doing those. On a good note, you will be making more than I did out of college with a degree. Enough to cover basics like food, rent, college classes, a used car and back to cheap on sale shopping, but enough. Maybe you can find a roommate so you have more shopping money. Keep in mind that he is only going to pay out for two years than it's on your own baby." She laughed lightly and then stopped when she noticed the length that my jaw had dropped and how far my eyes had bulged out.

"Do you not realize how much money it costs to upkeep this body, this hair, these nails, and my personal training? Not to mention my wardrobe. Good lord Kate. What you're saying is hello doll face, mind living off welfare for two years." I got up off the chair that I had sat myself in and wobbled off to the bathroom to wipe a few fresh tears that were about to fall. Hearing her shout to me while I stood in the bathroom did not help me in resolving my crying fit of self-pity. I would face facts, but on my own time, until then I was in a full blown pity party over my new financial status, one that I knew many would be envious of, but that was not the point here. I was being asked to adjust to a lifestyle, that yes was better than when I first met him, but far less than what I was used to, and all without a warning, mind you.

Kate's screaming voice echoed throughout the hotel room and surely down the hall. "Well princess. The party is over, and you can count on the fact that you put yourself in this position. You could have stayed at the bartending job, finished your liberal arts degree and done what? I have never exactly understood where your flighty easy going attitude came from. Being raised by a single poor mom should have taught you something, but somehow, I think you forgot all about your upbringing while being pampered by Clyde. You screwed up. He wanted a perfect, young, well-kept, wife who did not go around blurting out his sexual tactics while drunk. I know a lot of men who like kinky stuff, but I would never broadcast to his work environment what you did. Add to that..." She did not get to finish. I was out of the bathroom, pointing my hairbrush at her and glaring as if I had laser beam eyes that could cut her in half.

"Don't even say another word. I thought you were on my side. If all you can do is sit here and criticize me for trying my best in life to just get by well, then you can go suck on a rotten egg sissy. I will not have my own flesh and blood telling me how I screwed up or where I went wrong. He was no easy cakewalk, and my life was not all rainbows and unicorns. It was hard." Tears were falling from my face, but my little toddle like shrill voice and hissy fit act was not impressing my sister.

I watched her get up in her navy skirt and heels. Straighten her cream silk blouse and fix a gold earring that was caught up in her short brown hair. "Read the list. Stick to it and you will be fine. Listen, I have this weird stuff going on at work. I need to focus on something other than a toddler pissing a fit over her pampering. I would let you stay with me, but it's a one room, one bath apartment. We would kill each other by the end of the week. Looks like Helga will be contacting you about some money. When you need to find a place to stay, I have this guy's name who might help you. Other than that. Sounds to me like Clyde is trying to be nice."

"Really! Really? You think he is trying to be nice! Did you not remember that he broke off our marriage in a text, and then had his secretary arrange my eviction, and he had me escorted me out of his life? I feel like a caged monkey here." I shrilled out.

"Then go visit mom. It might behoove you to remember your roots, your poor heritage in her two bedroom one bath home we grew up in. While you are there, take some of your shoe shopping money and fix her broken air conditioner because sending her nice jewelry and art collections that she refuses to sell to pay to fix it won't help her any. Get up off your fat ass Lexi May and face reality." Then she walked out of my hotel room, slamming the door behind her, and I was left to stare at a melting children's sundae that room service decided to delivery right after Kate walked out.

Kate yelling at me that I have a fat ass, set me into a mental tailspin. That thought irked me as I stirred that small children's sundae until there was no cream color left. Just a melted mess of faded chocolate that didn't even look appetizing. I stirred as I thought of Clyde and our life together, thinking about the good times but knowing there had been a lot of dysfunctions in what should not have been called a marriage. I thought about Kate and her words of wisdom to me. She loves me; I know it, but she is just as frustrated in this situation as I am. I thought about visiting my mom, but I just didn't think this was the right time. She had so much of her own life to worry about; she did not need to be worrying about me. I kept stirring that melted sundae while thinking 'what next?' Nothing concrete or solid formed in my head. I needed to take a long hot shower and hope that hot water just washes away my problems. I had to stop thinking that Kate really thought I had a fat ass. She was just mad at me.
Chapter Three

I stepped out of the shower, wiped the mirror of moisture and looked into it at a twisted angle from my waist. My butt to the mirror, my waist twisted so I could see my bare-naked body. I wanted confirmation, visual at that, that my butt had not gotten fat. I stared longer than I should have needed to confirm that it had not, but that was the least of my problems. I had no cash, no credit, and I was going insane from being in my hotel room. It was only day one.

I had spent the entire night thinking long and hard about what Kate had said. Visiting mom would be nice if I was not so broke. Then a glimmer from my five-caret wedding ring caught my eye. Selling it would surely bring a huge load of cash. I ran out of the bathroom, sat on my bed still naked and started to leaf through the rules and regulation binder. There it was, on page one hundred and twelve, an immediate dismissal of all funds if I sold my wedding ring. In fact, I could not sell it until the two years were up.

I looked at the ring on my finger and had to wonder why I was even wearing it. It was because a huge part of me wanted this to just be a bad dream. I would wake up and realize that I was still Mrs. Clyde Nubbins, living in my perfectly decorated ten thousand square foot home on our private exclusive subdivision, and I was just experiencing a mental thing from bad sushi.

Just as I laid there fantasizing my phone chirped with a text from Kate. "Renter possibility. Hank Jackman. Call him now. I'll cover first month's rent and deposit until you can pay me back."

I smiled at my phone. Kate always had my back even when she was being entirely too blatantly honest with me. I might need her honesty, but I usually did not like it. Then my phone chirped again from Kate. "BTW, get out for fresh air."

As if it was that easy. I was entirely too ashamed to show my face anywhere around my normal stomping grounds. I figured I would call the guy's number about renting, but first I needed a small infusion of cash just to get around. I texted Clyde. "I need some money just to go look for a place to live." Smiley face with a kiss.

I was not surprised when Helga's number showed up on my screen via a text. "Lexi. The silver credit card with the Discover logo I put in your large suitcase on the inside pocket will work. I will text you the pin number for cash. You have a hundred dollars a day limit. Do not charge more than the five thousand dollars you will be allotted each month, and Lexi, please follow the rule book or else."

I didn't even get to say hello or good-bye, but what I did get to do was toss that freaking rule book at the floor and glorify in the fact that I had some money to motivate around.

Now I know what you are thinking, five thousand dollars is a lot of money. I'll be fine, there's no need to worry anymore. Get a job, go back to college. Life will be grand. Well, you have no idea how bad my shopping habits are.

Just as I was getting cash from the ATM in the lobby of the hotel, I noticed a really great outfit in the boutique window. It is only five hundred and spare change, so I bought it. Five thousand can go a long way, or maybe not. I ran upstairs to my room, changed into the outfit, put my wedding ring on my right hand and decided that it was time to find me a place to rent.

The number to the guy Kate gave me rang five times before he answered. "Yellow." He said hello like it was the color.

"Uhm, hi. My name is Lexi May Nubbins; I mean Cardinal now. My sister gave me your number regarding a rental." My voice had a nervousness to it that I hated to hear. I cleared my throat and took a deep cleansing breath so that I would sound more distinguishable as we spoke.

His gruff voice sounded as if he was in the middle of something and was put out that I was even calling. "Yeah. It's sixteen hundred a month. Close to the bus lines. Fifteen minutes from downtown and I need first and last month's rent along with a background check."

I decided to interject some low class humor. "Will you be needing me to piss in a cup as well?"

Silence.

"Uh, hello?" I spoke into the phone.

He lowered his voice and spoke more distinguished now. "Is this the woman who is staying at the Hilton?"

I felt taken aback. How the hell did he know I was staying at the Hilton, and then he added something very eerily weird to his next statement?

"You were checked in the other night and there was a wedding party. Your sister is Kate, and she came to see you that first night?" He seemed cautious as to his questioning.

I paused and answered slowly. "Yes. And you know this how?" My tone was authoritative, and my skin felt tingly.

"Oh. Good. Listen." His tone got cheery and a note of laughing chimed in with his voice as he spoke. "Listen." He told me again to listen, but he still had a light chuckling coming out. "I have this two bedroom, two bath rental that I just acquired. It needs some work. Kate said you know how to paint and are great with fixing things. I told her that I could give you a break in exchange for some sprucing up. Sorry about that earlier. I thought you were a renter I was just talking to that was calling back again to ask about the property. I've been getting calls all day."

I knew a salesman when I heard one. The old tactic of it's a hot commodity deal, and so many people want it. So I interjected with a righteous voice as he was continuing to talk aimlessly. "What's the address?"

"Excuse me." He stammered and then coughed as if he drank something down the wrong side. Once he regained his voice, he spouted out the address in quick recession, as if where it was located really did not matter. Maybe it didn't and maybe it did. "Twenty three, twenty two, twenty second street. Take Broadway to twenty first. Twenty second does not go all the way through. Take a right or go west and then..." His voice faded as I abruptly interrupted him.

I decided just by the address alone that I would not be living in that low end of a neighborhood. I stopped him from giving me anymore crazy directions as I looked on google earth at the rental property and noticed it was a junkyard dump. "No thank you. Sir." I said the last word in disdain and hung up.

How could my sister possibly think that I, Lexi May Nubbins, soon to Cardinal according to Helga's rules, would live in a junkyard dump? The google earth picture showed a ratty old couch and broken down cars in the broken cement driveway. The house next to it looked decent with a for sale sign, which most likely meant the previous tenants were unbearable to live with. I could only image what the inside of the place looked like. I was just going to have to spend more on my living situation and less on my shopping. I would be fine, really I would. I mentally tried to convince myself.

Just as I was about to try to reach Kate by phone to proclaim my disgust, my cell phone rang with the renter guy's number. I recognized the number from just dialing it and thought how rude is he.

"Hello, this is Lexi May Nubbins, how may I help you?" I answered with a bit of sarcasm to my voice, like I was the queen of England. My fake British tone did not make him laugh.

"You always go around calling and hanging up on folks, Lexi May?" His tone told me he was not too happy that I hung up. However, the way he rolled my name off his tongue, I felt those tingles again. Something told me I should just eliminate the sarcastic tone and be the polite woman Clyde groomed me to be.

"Sorry." I proclaimed while dropping the British accent. "Listen. I just did a google earth picture on the property, and I know the address, well at least the area. My maid lives around there. It's not a safe area."

"Really? You have a maid?" His tone got sarcastic this time.

"Had." I stammered and puffed out some steam that was building inside of me with the realization that I no longer had a maid. Good lord, I hated doing dishes and my own laundry again.

He paused as I sat in silence before he calmly said the next thing to me. "Lexi May, your sister said you need this place. It's available now. I cleared up all the junk last week. The grass does, however, need to be mowed, and I will lend you whatever tools I have so you can upkeep the place. Kate is a really great gal. I hope we can make this work."

Was he thinking of dating Kate, and this was her weird twisted way of helping me so that she can get a date? Before I could say much more, he chimed in with an offer I could not resist.

"Listen, Kate told me she would cover first month's rent and deposit. If you absolutely hate the place, then I will let you move out, without notice, and give Kate back her money. In the meantime, I have this guy I need to call back that I am sure I do not want as my neighbor, and he surely would not pass a piss test. What's it gonna be?" His tone hung out there like a spoonful of honey just waiting for a honeybee to land.

"I'll try it." I spoke with a bit of resistance to my decision. "When can I move in?"

"Next Sunday. Looking forward to meeting you Lexi. Have a great day." He hung up with a tone of happiness that almost made me forget what he said earlier. Something that I wanted to question. When he said. 'I am sure I do not want as my neighbor', did he mean that he would literally be my neighbor?

I did not have time to think when my phone chimed with Clyde's text tone. I slide my finger across the unlock bar on my phone and touched the view text button. "Don't spend all your money shopping; you'll need that to live off of."

I gawked at the message. How did he know that I already spent five hundred on this silky luscious feeling outfit? As I stroked my hand over the soft blue silk of the outfit's material, I truly believed it was worth every penny. I tossed my head back and squared my shoulders before I diligently typed back a lengthy text. "I was too distraught to pack correctly, love. When can I come get some more clothes? Better yet, when can I come home? I miss our home. LL." The LL always stood for Love Lexi. Somewhere around year four I dropped the world altogether from our conversations.

As soon as I hit the send button, I realized I did not type in that I loved him dearly and missed him, because if I was to be honest with myself, I did not. Our marriage became so predictably cliché. Then along came his strange sexual requests, and I felt I had no options. Those requests I would not miss. What I did miss was the way he touched me when we first met. He was so skilled and seductive, romantic and charming. Thinking back, it was so easy for him to sweep me off my feet. Did I really want to work so hard, profess love I did not feel, to find my way back into a home that was a beautifully decorated empty shell? I exhaled a huge breath of air as I realized the only thing I was missing was my material things, my home and my free range of money.

The survival thought struck me, so I quickly I added to the already sent text. "I love you Clyde. I am so sorry for my behavior. I can be better. I will try harder." Yes, I did want that life back and if doing a few strange things made it happen; I was willing. I added for the second time to the first text by quickly typing in. "I'll even try that new thing you have been begging me to do." With a hopeful spirit that he would accept as my heart pinched with desperation that he would not, knowing full well that I did not want to succumb to that request.

His text back was short and sweet. "Natalie already does. Don't forget the lawyer's appointment Monday at six. Dress proper and act professional. If you do well there; I will have a few more things sent over."

Was that it? Was he going to dangle my possessions in front of me like a candy to a little kid? It seemed he had all the control, and I had no choice. It also appeared to me that he could access my credit card purchases, and I was better off just getting cash everyday instead of using the charge card. What really upset me was that Natalie was ok with doing what she did. Sleep with a married man and do unspeakable sexual acts so that she could just replace my name out of the standard Mr. Clyde and Lexi Nubbins. I growled out into the air like an angry lioness, but managed to keep my tone to that of TV listening level. I did not want to break rule number two hundred and thirteen, do not cause a scene at the hotel.

I texted Kate that I took the place sight unseen, and that I was moving in next Sunday. She did not text back. I grabbed my purse and decided that lunch for one at a trendy new cafe down on first would be a special occasion. It was too late to call momma as she probably had already left for her afternoon shift at the plant, but I did need to call her. This was going to be devastating news, or maybe not. Maybe she felt the same as Kate and never let me know it. Maybe she will be relieved that I would no longer be controlled by the man who refused to let me spend my last few holidays with her. Instead, he made me spend them with his associates. I was beginning to think that team Kate now had mom on her side once she found out, and that was two to one against Clyde's side. Although, Clyde's text just confirmed there was no competition because he did not want me back.

By the time, I got back from my late lunch and cash only shopping, I had nine dollars left to my name and a huge list on my notes ap on my phone with what I needed to do. I sent Clyde a quick email requesting that I at least have my laptop for looking for a place to live and for registering for some college courses. My tag line was Love Lexi, but something deep inside of me knew it was wrong to continue to lie to myself, let alone to a man I did once love. Clyde knew something that I was refusing to believe. Our love was short-lived and, I had spent the last few years acting like a spoiled brat and not loving the man I fell in love with. Then again, he was a narcissistic control freak slash sex freak, and I was better off. My last thought sounded like Kate's voice in my head with her resounding message to me over the last few years. "You are better off without him Lexi May; you are better than him. You just need to give yourself a try." I smiled as I warmed with the thoughts of how I was so glad to have my sister to help me through this. Soon, I will be single and breathing in a completely new life. It scared me, but I was sure I would be ok.

I tried texting Kate again and no response. I shrugged it off that she mentioned being super busy at work, so I grabbed the hotel pen and pad of paper and began to jot down some numbers. I decided to list the bills I knew I would have and what I would need. By the time I was done, the entire situation seemed rather manageable, providing that when the two years was up, I could find a decent paying job or a new husband to support my shopping and decorating habits.

By eight o'clock at night, I was calling Kate's cellphone instead of texting. I wanted to hear her voice, more to reassure myself. There was no answer, so I decided that it was time to start calling friends on my contact list. With every single number called, I knew the next one would not answer. Those women I had called my friends, were part of Clyde's social circle; therefore, I knew better. I had been one of those women when a divorce in the group happened; I shunned the woman calling for a shoulder to cry on. I frowned as I dialed Monique's number and was shocked when she answered on the second ring.

"Monique!" I practically cried out.

"Just a moment." Her hushed tone came across the phone line, and then I heard a door close and water started to run. When her voice came back to the phone, she sounded her normal chipper self. "Lexi! How are you doing? I was just thinking about you."

"You were? I mean great. I am doing great. This will all blow over soon. I don't suppose you would want to do lunch soon?" I bit my lip and waited withheld breath as to what I knew would be a devastatingly low blow off answer.

"Sure. I have been wanting to call you, but you know. Listen, what about next Monday?"

I was so shocked with her answer that I almost forgot that I would just have moved into my new place, so I decided to play my hand and ask for a different day. "Is it possible to meet on Tuesday or Wednesday next week?" I was hesitant in asking, but I knew that meeting Monique for lunch meant that a small part of my old life would still be with me, making me feel normal instead of ousted by my so called friends.

"Tuesday will be fine darling. How are you doing, you know otherwise?" She asked with such a concern to her voice that I felt a flood gate open up with emotion as I started to talk about Helga's rules, Clyde's dangling of my return of possession based on my behavior. As it all tumbled out of me, I worried that I was breaking one of Helga's rules, and if I was, I could kiss what was starting to seem like a decent life good-bye.

"Listen, Monique. You don't want to hear all about my devastation. I did not call to complain. I have got plans in motion. Things are going to work out nicely for me. It won't be long, and we could be laughing over a glass of wine about how silly all of this was. I truly look forward to seeing you Tuesday. What time works for you?" I asked with a cheeriness in my voice that I suddenly did not feel. Would meeting with Monique break a rule? Would going to a restaurant, we all frequented, break a rule? Was Monique now friends with Natalie and she wanted me to break a rule so that Clyde would no longer have to pay me anything? My mind whirled with activity as I heard Monique reply. "Elevenish. Shall we go to that bistro down on eleventh we have both been wanting to try?"

Her suggestion for a very early lunch at a place we had never been to before, told me that perhaps she did want to just talk and be my friend. Either way, I needed Kate to reassure me that I was doing something that was allowed. I quickly responded. "Eleven then. See you on Tuesday."

As soon as I hung up, I spent the entire rest of the night memorizing the rule's handbook. Talking to Monique could be seen as a no-no, so I had to keep the conversation in terms, which kept Clyde out of the conversation. This meant I did not have another shoulder to cry on. By one a.m., my eyes were burning and Kate had never answered any of my texts or voice messages. I had to assume that her work was consuming her again. As soon as I was past this divorce, I was going to treat Kate to a spa day.

I wasn't even asleep for two hours when a soft knock sounded off my hotel door. "Lexi. Lexi May, you in there? You up girl?" It was Kate's voice, and she sounded drunk. She never said things like you up girl. So I reached over and turned on my light, and set the darn rules and regulation book that I fell asleep with, off to the end of the bed. I grabbed my robe off the big reading chair in the room and practically ran to the door.

"Kate?" I whispered into the door while my hand rested on the security flip lock. "Do you know what time it is?"

She whispered back in slurred words, which told me she was definitely drunk. "Shome time for uz to shet me shin." Some time for you to let me in, I internally verbalized her meaning. I opened the door with a huge grin on my face. Kate was shitfaced and I was happy to see that she finally let loose. Why she chose to come to my hotel instead of a cab home was beyond me, but I helped her into my room, locked the door behind her, and led her over to the very chair she aided my twisted ankle in while I was drunk.

I did not get a chance to ask before take charge Kate, even drunk, was instructing me on what to do with a commanding proper voice. "Coffee. Please. Black. You just need to plug in that two cup coffee maker they give you, open up the packet, set it..." I put up a hand to stop her before her slurring started up again.

"I think I can make a cup of coffee." I joked.

"Can you? Because I wondered about that on my sixth rum and coke. Can Lexi May even make coffee?" Her words were sarcastic but filled with laughter and true meaning.

"Yes." I taunted. "Lest you not forget that I was an excellent bartender and two a.m. coffee was my specialty. Did you get my text? I rented that place. The guy seemed like a jerk, but the price was right. I guess if it does not work out, then I can just vacate, no questions asked. Hey, why are you crying?" I sat next to her feet now on the ottoman while I watched my sister appear to fall apart.

She finally looked up at me with her sad blue eyes and laughed. "There is an evil plot of men out to get us Lexi May. I think Clyde got me fired and now there is some kind of black list that I am on. No one will talk to me, or even tell me exactly what is going on. All I know is my name got put on a bunch of documents that I did not sign and the merger fell through, and I heard Clyde's name come into the conversation with my boss, and I knew... I knew that crummy ass husband of yours would find a way to get back at me after all those years I told him that he was not good enough for you. That you deserved better. Now he's served his revenge on both of us." She fell against me in sobs as I tried to hush her crying. I did not want to disturb the hotel and break the noise rule. I had no idea what she was talking about but what I did know is that my sister loves me and hated my husband. Now she really hates him if he is behind all of this, and I needed to be the strong resilient one to step up and be mature.

It took a bit of persuasion, but I got her into my bed and asleep while I got myself dressed and headed down to the hotel ATM. It was after midnight so technically I could get another hundred dollars out of my credit card. I caught a cab to Kate's apartment and with her keys in hand that I snuck out of her purse, I let myself in. I logged onto her computer. Her password was always where we both put it, on the bottom side of a hand lotion bottle, written in sharpie, on her desk. It was the only way we knew how to let each other know if the other one needed to get on to each ones computer. I had my own bottle sitting on my desk back at my old home. I felt a ping of sadness thinking how I will never sit at my writing desk again, laptop open, looking out to the view of the mountains from my office.

I logged in and did a maddening search of what exactly was going on in Kate's life. I scoured her emails, her spam, and her trash file. I tried to log into her work access but was denied. All I could find was a letter of termination from her boss to her personal email, stating she had recklessly released information about the merger and that her employment ended as of yesterday. So while I was off having a nice lunch, buying myself an expensive outfit and then shopping at little boutiques downtown like I had not a care in the world, Kate's was crumbling apart. And worse, Clyde knew this was going to happen.

I noticed the stack of unpaid bills on her desk and a check in a card about to be sent out to mom for one thousand dollars. The card simply read; I hope this helps, it is all I have got for now. I felt my heart tighten with sadness. Kate was sending all of her extra cash to momma for what? While I shop away money like it is pennies on the dollar. I knew Kate had lost a lot of her retirement that she built up when the stock market took a hit a few years ago, but she told me she had regained some, so why so many unpaid bills.

I looked around her plush high-rise apartment and thought about how when she bought this place, she had plans to marry a man who made as much as she did. She lost to the market the same time she lost her man to another woman. Something told me that Kate having to deal with my affairs brought on some bad memories of her own. I also was beginning to wonder if she was in over her head with the mortgage on this place. I quickly examined some bills and noticed high credit card balances, a mortgage that was paid for to the current month, but I do not think she planned on paying mortgage with just one income. I let out a huge puff of air and figured that I needed to get things in order for myself, so that Kate can get herself in order.

I grabbed a small luggage tote, packed a few fresh clothes for Kate along with tossing in her makeup bag and curling iron. By the time I left her place, the sun was just beginning to crest the horizon. I figured I would stop off at a coffee shop and surprise her with her favorite coffee. Just as I walked out with the door locked behind, I realized that she might want her laptop. I went back in, found the laptop case, packed it up with charging cords and headed back out. It was Kate and I against the world. I fist pumped the air and sounded out with silliness. "Sister power activated." As I said the last word, the elevator opened and a good looking older man in his mid-fifties, navy power suit and rich Italian leather looking shoes, smiled at me in that way that told me with just a suggestion, it could be that easy... but I refrained. I smiled back briefly and avoided eye contact the rest of the elevator ride down. He stated for me to have a good day as I replied in a mumbled voice, 'you too'.

As soon as I let myself into my hotel with the balancing agility of a Cirque Du Soleil gymnast, I knew that I still had my bartending balancing mojo. With a sack of warm baked goodness, two coffees in a tray, laptop case on shoulder, and travel luggage case in hotel key hand, I made it inside without so much as a spill or dropped luggage. Doing all of that in my four inch Choo shoes, I knew I still had agility, grace and style.

"Morning! What time did you leave?" Kate asked looking freshly showered and in my white plush robe.

"As soon as you passed out." I teased. "Coffee, just the way you like. Blueberry scones, hot out of the oven. Change of clothes." I set all of that down, and then I took her laptop bag off my shoulder and set it on the small writing desk in the hotel. "Computer. Ta-dah!"

I opened my arms as if I was a circus entertainer, and this was my final amusement.

"Thanks." Kate smiled wryly.

I walked up to her and gave her a huge sisterly hug. "You are welcome. By the way, we need to talk."

"You saw the bills?" She inquired as she knew I was one to snoop.

"And the check to mom." I smiled with a crooked grin. I decided to hand her a scone and her coffee, enjoy a few bites, and then we needed to activate a plan.

Only two sips and one bite of a scone, and Kate began to sound serious. "Mom had some health issues. Could not afford the deductible. Nothing serious, but all the same. She had her car break down, her air, her furnace in that old place go out, and then her property taxes shot up due to some new taxes. You know mom; she has always gotten by, but it was too much all at once. She was going to get a second job. I suggested that she ask you for money, but she said she couldn't. It took her several months of me telling her that I was doing great to get her to cash the first check I sent her. I personally think she should have sold some of that expensive art and jewelry you bought her. I never did understand you on that."

I kept quiet, because honestly, I did not understand my shopping habit and gift giving either. It was like I could not spend enough as things got worse between Clyde and I. Why I never thought to send momma money made no sense to me. Kate finally spoke up some truth that relieved me of my guilt.

"It's not like she would have wanted your money or asked for it. She probably would have put it in a savings account to give back to you. Hell, that's probably what she did with the money I had been sending her. As for me. I just had a few bills I am behind on. The mortgage on that place eats up my income. I think I need to sell it now that the real estate market has returned to a reasonable spot. I might not make as much if I could hang in another year or two but who cares." She shrugged her shoulders like she did not care, but I knew she did. I knew that, deep down, she was distraught with emotion over her job, her fiancé taking off with another woman, and being stuck with a huge mortgage.

I sat next to where she decided to sit on the bed. I leaned my head onto her shoulder and sang out the next statement as if it was a song. "We could be roomies, sitting around watching old cable movies, ordering pizza... and drinking wine from a box on Friday nights."

Her laughter eased my heartache as she found my suggesting either amusing or just my singing it like it was a song entirely too funny. By the time she stopped laughing, her phone was ringing, and she went into the bathroom to talk to whoever was on the phone.

I stood up and looked out the hotel window to the world outside and professed. "You're not so big, so bad, and so evil. We've got boobs and brains, and before you know it world; we will be back on our feet and making a way for ourselves." I don't know if I was trying to be a comedian relief for myself by speaking out loud but what I did know is, sitting in this hotel room, thinking about what happened and not being able to shop it out, was killing me. I needed a new vise to release my energy. I picked up my phone and announced to the air. "Release the Kraken!"

Kate's voice caught me off guard from behind me. "You go girl. Listen I need to get dressed and make this appointment I made with a labor lawyer. If your, soon to be ex is behind all this, I could screw up your entire alimony payment thing. It might be easier to file for unemployment and just find another job. In the meantime, that was my real estate agent. He found a renter for my place, which will bank me an extra six hundred a month above my mortgage." Then she paused with a devilish grin on her face as her blue eyes sparkled. "Here's looking at you roomie."
Chapter Four

For as long as I could remember, growing up in a two-bedroom house with my sister and mother was actually nice. Kate and I had shared a room with two twin beds since the day I was born, or close to. Kate is two years and three months older than me. We had many nights where we made tents out of sheets in our room, strung lights up over them and read stories to each other. I liked to brush Kate's hair and arrange our makeshift tent between our beds into a better homes and garden fashion. Kate always arranged the snacks and told me the sensible things to do like not lighting a small candle in the tent or not to read mom's romance novels. Somehow, her telling me not to, always made me want to. I did not light a candle when she was around, and I always snuck mom's romance novels and read them when she was at work. Some things have never changed for me.

Today was moving day and I did not have as much to move as Kate. Clyde promised at the lawyer's office that my purple couch and laptop would be delivered to the new house along with some more clothes. I did not own any dishes or housewares, so it probably was a good deal for me that Kate was moving in, and not such a great deal that Clyde had found a way to ruin Kate's career.

The moment I left that lawyer's office, I knew it was officially over although a small part of me kept thinking I should try, if not to get back at Clyde in some seductive evil way for what he did, and maybe he knew that.

I was as cordial and agreeable as could be that day as I walked out of the lawyer's office. I did not say a word about him getting Kate fired, nor did I acknowledge that she was unemployed at his doing. But today, I was like Helga on steroids. I found myself snapping at the rental moving truck guy who rented us the huge box truck for moving. I had told some old lady to take the stairs because I was holding the elevator for Kate to bring out more boxes. By the time we made it to the rental house, it was already past five pm, and I had not had a single thing to eat all day. The last energy drink I had gulped down had given me a nasty caffeine edge to anyone who even looked at me the wrong way. Therefore, I guess it was no surprise to Kate or me that when she backed up the rented moving truck to our new rental that I yelled out with nasty remarks as she almost ran over me. In her defense, I apparently was standing there behind the truck giving her incorrect hand signals on how to back up. In my defense, I had way too much caffeine in me to be a sensible person.

It was the moment that I heard his voice that I snapped. "You just told her to come back and to the right instead of to the left and stop a few inches." There, next door in his driveway, with a few other male friends standing around a motorcycle, was a man I hoped was not our landlord. Then I heard him turn to another guy who just parked his car and walked up as if they were there to watch the all-female moving show. "Yellow, Cal. What's up?"

Yup it was our landlord. I practically hissed his way as if he totally disgusted me while he was laughing and joking with his friends. I was not sure if I blurted out what I was thinking that he was some kind of lame ass or bad ass as I started to open the back of the trailer when I felt his hand on mine.

"Careful. Things might have shifted, and you don't want it to all fall out on your pretty little head." His voice was husky, but his laughter made me mad.

"I got it." I shouted at him, and he backed away with his hands up as if he was under arrest.

He smiled a wickedly sexy smile as he offered up a nice suggestion. "I'm just saying. This part of the driveway slopes down. Your sister, Kate, stopped awfully fast when you howled out, thinking she might have run over your foot. All those boxes, if they were not stacked properly, which I am assuming you packed yourself, might fall out."

What he was insinuating was that we were stupid moving packers who can't back up a moving truck. Some truth there but I was on a bit of a caffeine anger buzz. It had been a long day and not in my recent rich lifetime had I thought that I might be doing what I was doing. "Buzz off." I practically barked out.

Kate rounded the back of the truck and held out her hand. "Hey Hank. Nice to see you again. Lexi, you ok? I thought I hit you with the truck?"

I glared at her and started to walk back to the front of the truck where I could find a hair clip to put my hair up. The heat was high, the humidity up, and I had been sweating like a pig all day. All I wanted was a cold shower and cold beer in an air conditioned house. By the time I came back around the corner, the last few words I heard about sent me full steam to the moon.

"Air conditioning is out until the guy comes tomorrow. It was working fine when I rented to you but something broke. I tried to fix it but there is an ordered part we need. You're welcome to stay at my place for the night to get cool." Instead of winking or smiling seductively at Kate as I had assumed this arrangement had come about; he turned his full attention to me, and I knew that hungry look in a man's eyes. There before me was a man of maybe an inch over six feet with unruly dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. Eyes that seemed familiar. He had on a pair of raggedy khakis shorts, a surfer tee shirt in faded baby blue and a pair of flip-flops on his feet as he stood shoulder width apart and his hips thrust towards me. His build seemed muscular from what I could see and his smile just spoke a thousand words to me without even speaking to me. He was manifiying me with his hips thrust forward towards me, broad shoulders back, eyes grooming up and down my body, and a look as if he was a lion about to eat a piece of meat.

"Thanks, but no thanks." I barked out while Kate betrayed me and sweetly chimed out a sound that sounded like sure. I twirled my head so fast in her direction with a glare that told her she deceived me.

"What?" She put her hands up in the air, turned, and started to walk away while debating her reason. "It's hot out. He's our landlord. I'm not one to turn down air conditioning on a hundred plus degree day, besides, Hank here helped me down those rum and cokes that day I got fired. Huh drinking... buddy!" Her silly voice and acting as if he was her best buddy rubbed my nerves even rawer. Why had she picked him to cry her woos to while I sat around my hotel wondering why she had not called me? Furthermore, why was she even trying to hook up with him since his attention was obviously gauged towards me? Unless I was way off base in my thinking, and nothing made sense to me anymore.

I stomped over, opened the rental moving truck's back door with a vengeance and three boxes fell out on top of me, causing me to shrill out a scream and fall back on my butt. The first hand that offered assistance was Hank's, and I was not about to take it. I smiled devilishly and got up by myself while rubbing my butt where I fell.

"I'd offer to kiss the boo-boo but with the look you are giving me, I think not. So be it. I was going to offer to help move with the guys but you two lovely ladies look like you have got it all under control." I watched him walk away with a bit of sexual awareness coming from my body. I admired his legs and the ass that held those legs, his broad shoulders and muscular build. He was definitely built with a whole lot of sexy and way too much alpha man-attitude.

I pushed my chin up and squared my shoulders while turning my attention to the moving van's contents all jumbled about. I mentally hoped we used enough bubble wrap to protect all of Kate's fragile things. By the time I was pulling out the ramp, I could hear Kate's voice behind me talking to the men in a flirtatious voice that I had never heard from her before.

"You don't know how much we would appreciate a little help. There's not much. A few boxes, a couch or table or two and my king size bed." She spoke with a voice about the bed like it was an open sexual invitation to any of the good looking but very rough around the edges kind of guys. 'Why I bet they all work at some garage or local plant around here.' I spoke to myself with some kind of righteous pride. Then I remembered that those kind of guys were my best tippers at the bar, unlike some of the executive types that came in and only paid their tab leaving no cash tip. Perhaps I needed to be a little nicer.

As I set the metal ramp to the ground realizing that it was going to be set at a crooked angle that would make it easy to fall off the ramp, I revised my thinking about the help part. I turned and looked at Kate with the men following behind her. I had a choice here. My caffeine buzz, mixed with hunger and my husband just dumped me attitude, could erupt and cause for some nasty feelings, or I could do what I did next.

I smiled seductively with my head tilted, looking down at my running shoes and back up to meet the intense blue eyes of my new landlord. "Perhaps I must apologize for my rudeness earlier. It would be great if you would not mind helping."

Kate quickly added. "Can someone start by backing this thing up right?" Within seconds, several men were in motion, and Kate and I were standing on the front porch of our new, very run down, but doable, rental, looking at each other like we just hit the jackpot. Men's shirts were coming off due to the intense heat and humidity. Cold beers were being handed out, and I ordered several pizzas on my Discover credit card.

I wasn't surprised when Clyde texted me a comment that I ordered a lot of pizzas. I quickly texted back. 'For the free help movers. LL." I felt a bit of defeat when I typed in the LL. I did not love the man; I loathed him, so perhaps the LL was fitting now. He did not need to know until the two years were up. I, on the other hand, would know what and who the control freak was really all about. I turned to the laughter from Kate in the kitchen as a nice looking man with dark black hair and piercing brown eyes was joking with her. Kate looked happy. I was starting to feel better as the caffeine was fading. I began to think to myself, this ain't so bad after all.

My thoughts got quickly deflated when Hank walked up to me and asked if I changed my mind about staying at his place until the air conditioner was fixed. "I've got a spare room with a twin mattress, although Kate already said it was hers. Perhaps you'd want to sleep in my king size?"

I looked at him with a glare and nastily whispered into his ear. "Then where will you be sleeping, because I am a married woman."

His hand grabbed my left hand and looked for the wedding ring. He rubbed his thumb over my ring finger and smiled at me seductively. I delighted in the stroke of his thumb rubbing against my hand. I could be mad at myself for letting another man touch me and excite me this way, but realistically, I was going to be divorced in a month. I wanted to pull my hand away, but his touch was doing things to my body that caused an evident reaction from the purchased c cups below my mind. My heart was thinking rebound while my mind was trying to stay on the defensive edge. Then to break the spell he was putting me under, his voice jokingly teased me. "I don't see a ring. Kate said you signed the papers the other day, so technically..."

His voice trailed off with suggestion. I held up my right hand and showed him the five caret diamond ring. "Technically." I punctuated with a spiteful voice which caught Kate's attention, and she looked over at me funny, so I sweetened up my voice and leaned in super close with my leg between his, and my boobs pressed against him as I whispered into his ear. "I would like you to..." I paused as I felt a hard flinch in his loose khaki shorts. He wasn't wearing any underwear, and he was definitely turned on by my presence and voice. Before I could continue, one of the guys with a last remaining box walked by us and loudly announced. "Find a room."

I stomped my foot with emphasis as I let out a low growl. I quickly turned and headed to the driver's side of the moving van. I climbed in, left the door open for a second, turned the key on and got the air conditioner going full blast. As soon as the cool air touched my naked skin, I resolved to slam the driver side door and shut myself off from the world I was forced to be in right now. This was not how I thought my life would be going less than two weeks ago. I was currently soaked from sweat, leaving very little to the imagination with my double tank tops and no bra, deflated with defeat from Clyde and mad that this is how my life is at the present moment.

After a few minutes of cool air, the doom and gloom attitude that I was injecting into my own brain, began to fade as the memory of Hank flirting with me sparked inspiration in my body. Mostly, my lower region between my legs and definitely in my mind. I quickly realized that my own body felt tingly while leaning against Hank. When I whispered into in his ear, it made me feel like a temptress again. I smiled to myself thinking how some hot sultry sex with that man could be fun, but he was not, definitely not, the type of guy I need to go after next. Super rich, done that. Average Joe type, just for fun. What I needed was a good job, a successful but not too rich man and maybe not so old this time. Clyde kept his looks up, but his age was showing faster than I liked. I mentally envisioned Clyde's naked next to what Hank might look like and let my eyes figuratively roam both of their bodies with my imagination. I knew if presented with the option, Hank definitely had the better situation going on, by far. Just as I envisioned myself kissing Hank, wondering if his lips would tingle against mine, while our tongues danced, would it ignite further passion, the driver side door opened, and there he stood.

"Gotta get the truck back. It's getting late but still hot out. I told Kate I would take the rental truck back and get her car." He leaned in towards the cool air of the truck and smiled at me like he could just climb right inside and find ways to heat up the cool air of the truck. His smile slid upwards in a sheepish grin that told me he had plenty of ideas on how to heat things up. He let his eyes roam my sweaty body for a second and then began talking with a hint of a southern drawl. "Kate said you have a lot of unpacking to do. I told her not to wear yourselves out." He stood there leaning in closer with a smile on his face as he whispered the next sentence to me. "Offer still stands." There it was. That sexually deviant flirting that made me want him in the same moment that I had my pride and prenuptial to uphold, which always ended up with me feeling defensive in a moment where I would traditionally have played back the flirtation. This prenuptial dangling over me was going to be my demise, I just knew it.

I made a harrumph sound while my mouth formed a big O, and my eyes turned to slits while I put my hand up to hold him back from leaning in any further. I felt my financial preservation kick in. I needed this prenup and I was not officially divorced from Clyde. "No thanks." I touted with an attitude and slightly pushed him back with my hand. "I'll take the truck back." Thinking to myself how the air conditioner felt like heaven right now. Although the thought of driving a large truck after not doing it in over the last seven years actually scared me.

He laughed and stepped back with his hands in the air again. Showing me a suggestive mood that he's backing off. "Ok, Lexi May but Kate said you haven't driven for seven years since you always had a driver. This big moving truck can be tricky on corners. Why don't you let me drive you?" His last sentence sounded sexually suggestive, or perhaps; I just wanted it to sound that way. I was beginning to think his little bit of southern charm had a way of wooing a lot of women, me, in particular, if I was willing to let down my defense.

For a moment, I saw a frown cross his face as I didn't reply to his suggestion. I was beginning to think the man was about to give up on seducing me. I would not blame him as I had not been exactly acting like the receptive kind since the moment our bodies touched, not to mention our first phone call together. If I was him, I would easily see me as the temperamental bitchy type with excessive needs. With Clyde, I had actually become that woman, and I did not want to be her, so I let a small sensual smile curve my lips upwards.

His seductive smile returned, and his hands were in his khaki shorts turning my attention to between his legs where I met his growing friend earlier. Being alone with him would only screw with my mind. I needed to keep my brain on the game, stay out of trouble, and Hank standing before me looked like one big sexual all capital letters trouble.

I climbed out of the truck and presented the open door to him with my hand as if I was a game show host. "Be my guest." I spoke sweetly but with a falseness that told him, I was being sarcastic.

"You coming?" He asked in that damn seductive low voice as he leaned into towards me and whispered near my ear causing a tingly vibration throughout my body. I felt the electricity between us while my mind was telling me to stop fantasizing. I knew what men like him were really like, actually what they all were like. They wanted one thing and one thing only, and I was in no mood for games. I had a new life to preserve even if it would be managed by all the prenuptial rules. Hank was a rule breaker until things were official. Clyde might be able to have his mistress and then some, but I could have nothing. I felt my preservation kick in fast.

"Think not." I chimed out with that false serenity sound.

"Suit yourself. The guys are still inside helping Kate out. Since you don't seem to be in such a sweet mood, why don't you let them hang for a bit. You're welcome to my shower, front doors open, although someone once told me that it is not safe around here." He laughed while I felt myself cringing from the fact that two seconds ago, while he was leaning into me, I actually wanted to put my arms around him and find out how the man kissed. I was in a delusional state. I needed to get my head on straight and the first place I needed to start was by getting my room together and blowing up that stupid air mattress I bought that was going to be my bed until I went mattress shopping.

By the time I made it up to the last step of the front porch, standing next to where the screen door was held open by its hinges, Kate's vivacious laughter told me that for her sake, I needed to get rid of this nasty disposition I was finding myself in, and try to be social with the group of guys who just made our moving extremely easy. In fact, they did most of the work while Kate seemed to be stocking up points on visual hunky appeal.

I put a wry smile on my face, wiped the sweat from the back of my neck and then wiped my hands on my cut off denim shorts. I looked down at my once crisp clean tank top and noticed that my C cup girls thought that Hank was an afternoon delight. I covered my perky nipples with my hands and cursed at them for being traders. I mentally thought of anything that would bring the pebbled nipples back down to an earthy presentation. Thinking of Clyde with Natalie did the trick. I slowly took one step towards the open front door of our new rental with a false bravado of happiness and calm. None of which I felt at the moment. I stopped myself from stepping completely inside as I took a deep breath and did a reality check on my life. Hank had left me sexually wanting just as he left me defensive in my pride that he thought I was just some easy floosy. Clyde left me with a feeling of awestruck shock and despair. Men were really the last thing I needed in my life right now.

I was starting to have myself convinced that this will all be alright, that the neighborhood actually seemed ok, and the entire situation was for the best. It was the minute I stepped through the door, and took the first step inside of our tiny faded grey two bedroom rental house, with a broken metal rail, that I had a fleeting moment of panic. I just heard a backfire on a car, or was that a gun shot? I heard screaming from down the street like a domestic dispute. I turned to where I heard the screaming and there were a group of young boys riding their bikes with their hands out. I heard a scrapping sound and realized they were running something down the sides of cars and scrapping them. The next thing I saw was a kid break a car window, and I bolted completely inside the living room area really fast and put my hand to my heart, feeling the beat of it racing like crazy.

Kate saw the look on my face and handed me a fresh cold beer which I proceeded to drink back all the way. "There, there." She mocked. "It's going to be great."

I looked over my shoulder towards the front yard and thought to myself. How can it be any worse?
Chapter Five

One cold shower and long hot night later, on an air mattress with a hole in it that I could not find; I realized that three hours of sleep on a carpet floor was ok in my early youth but at almost thirty, I was thinking it sucked big time.

Kate rolled in around eight in the morning laughing, looking refreshed and rejuvenated. It was Monday and normally she would be at work by seven, and I would be at my highly paid personal trainer by just about now. Our previous life was a fun text here or there and a plan to catch lunch sometime that week. Looking back, Clyde found several weeks to change my plans with Kate. Now I wished I had never skipped a lunch.

"How was sleeping at Hank's?" I asked rather cheerfully, more to see if she decided to take the flirting thing she had going with the guy in the dark hair and mysterious eyes any further. They had been ogling each other all evening, and he followed her over to Hanks when she left me here all alone in the sweltering heat and noisy neighborhood. I stayed up half the night with my bedroom window open, worried that a robber might climb in, to then close it, and noticed how fast the heat climbed back up in the room.

"Fun!" She wiggled her brows as she opened her eyes as if to say, Oh yes I did!

"Jesus, Kate. You don't even know anything about this guy." I protested as I held an empty coffee cup in my hand thinking I was going to make coffee if I only knew where it was in the cabinet. Kate had done the kitchen; I was focused on my bathroom. It looked cute though. I bought all matching accessories and towels and found rugs that were super soft under my feet, all in my favorite shade of champagne pink.

"Oh please, it didn't go that far. However, I do know that he graduated from NYU, and he moved here a couple of years ago, has a great job, and owns his own condominium two buildings over from mine, well at least the one I just rented out." She laughed as she looked at my disheveled appearance and pointed to the empty coffee cup hanging in my hand. "Hey, run next door. Hank had some coffee left."

"So is this how it's going to be?" I voiced out angrily with a little too much tenacity. "Running back and forth to our neighbors, cup of coffee, cup of sugar?" I practically growled out as I was just cranky from lack of sleep and lack of my old life. God how I missed my old mattress, not that I wanted it from Clyde seeing as him and Natalie now slept on it, but I wondered if I could afford anything remotely close to it.

"Actually Lexi, it's going to be, however we choose to make it. Right now, things are a little off kilter for us. We both need jobs. I could use a few new friends seeing as the only friends I had before were coworkers and NOBODY is talking to me." She practically shouted the word nobody and looked at me with a seriousness to her face. "You my little sister, could use some manners and that sweetness you are always pouring over on the men that make them go ga-ga for you. Those things you do and say that make men do anything; you need that now more than ever. Think about how exhausted we would both be if we had to do all that moving ourselves. Returning the truck – big hassle. Hank got stuck late night traffic due to a highway accident then he had the truck overheat on him, probably from having you run that air conditioner on high while it sat in the driveway. I could go on, but I won't. I am or was in a great mood. I had my coffee, gourmet French vanilla in fact. I even ate breakfast, Hank made me an omelet, and it was de-freaking-lish. I have unpacking to do, a few job opportunities to call on, and you my sister, you have to go wash that scowl off your face and maybe wet down that messy hair before you step out into that mean old world you are so mad at." She started down the hall towards her room and turned and added to her victorious speech. "By the way, I suggest you take this anger out on Clyde, not all men in general. They're not all assholes, Lexi; you just married a rich one who got shittier by the years."

I watched her go into her room and slam her door. I stood there for a second letting what she just said sink in. I had every right to be acting out right now. What Clyde did to me was rotten. Getting mad at Clyde would only cancel out my paycheck. I did not need men anymore like I did before, although having the guys handle what they did yesterday was great.

Just as I was about to go searching for ground coffee while still holding the empty cup in my hand, Hank appeared at the back kitchen door where Kate had just come through and held up a fresh pot of hot coffee. "Made fresh. I told Kate I would leave the back door open to the house, in case there is anything you two might need today. Unpacking can be daunting. Gotta run. I'm already late to work." He smiled weakly as if to wait for my mean response. He looked a far bit different than yesterday's casual attire. This morning he was clean shaven, although last night, I kept dreaming about touching his two day old scruff. His hair was styled nicely, that, in fact, I had a brief remembrance moment thinking that I had seen him somewhere before. His dark grey suit and tie fashion could easily have put him in a GQ magazine. I had a brief vision of my well-manicured fingernails undoing his small white buttons, so I could see what lay beneath.

Instead, I put a crooked smile on my face and tilted my head a bit as I put my cup out for him to pour and let a soft breathy whisper exit my mouth. "Thanks." I knew how to pour on the charm and seduce a man with my eyes even if my morning appearance was far less than my normal look of pulled together rich wife.

He poured the coffee with caution as if he was waiting for me to say something nasty. He took a few more steps into the kitchen after pouring my cup and set the hot pot on the stove. "Just return it when you're done." He took a few steps back and hesitated, and I took a few steps towards him and smiled.

"Thanks again." I spoke softly, and he looked like an alien had sprouted out of my body. Before I could say anything more, he was backing out of the kitchen looking at me with concern, and then he turned and said 'bye' as he was already practically running through the metal gate and to his truck, an old beat up Chevy that I was sure was older than me.

I let my body tingle with some crazy sexual desire for the man as I realized that he was not my type, nor was he the complication I needed in my life. It did feel good to flirt and get him worked up though. I guess if I wasn't in such a transitional spot, and I was officially divorced from Clyde; I might pull out the big guns and show him what a night of fun with me could be like. I felt a twisted smile cross my face and I bit my lip to reign it in. My life was complicated enough right now. A man like Hank, all big with muscles, husky voice, sexy smile, and eyes that sparkle with mischief was not what I needed to focus my brain on. Question was, what did I want to focus my brain on? Looking for a job or applying for classes seemed daunting. I had more pressing issues like the heat still stifling in this house.

As I sat and drank my second cup of coffee from our little kitchen area with a big bay window, I thought how the window seemed so out of place for an old square house like this. Then again, we grew up in an old house, square brick ranch, tiny bedroom windows too high to sneak out of until we were sixteen, with a big bay kitchen window. I looked over to Hank's place and noticed that our window could see right into his kitchen bay window, through the four foot chain link backyard fence between us. I noticed his yard looked torn up with no grass and only a cracked up concrete slab off the back. I could not help but to think that this was such a far cry from the landscaped back paved garden area from which I had spent many a mornings, drinking coffee, and talking to Clyde about upcoming events. Although, the last two years there was more glaring at each other than talking.

Who was I kidding? It was a short lived fairytale that really had some horror moments to it. If I could do it all again, would I have insisted we work on the marriage part, maybe finished college, gotten a job or at least volunteered doing something meaningful? Perhaps things would have been different, but the big question in my mind was, did I want to find a way to get back with Clyde or someone like him, or did I just want to start fresh and create a new life?

As I sat internally figuring out my life, Kate came in the room and cleared her throat. "Sorry. I guess I just was having some fun and forgot all about what a wreck you still must be over this. Forgive me?" She asked sweetly.

I put my coffee cup down on the old wooden kitchen table and got up. I walked towards her, gave her a hug and pulled back with a smile on my face. "I forgive you. You forgive me?"

"Yes, of course." She laughed.

"Great!" I rejoiced in a singing style voice as I added the next roomie bit of agenda to the list of day's activities. "Monday, Wednesday and Friday's you still do dishes. I'll do Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Sunday we eat out or order in." I laughed as I started to walk down the hall towards my bathroom.

"Just like when we were kids." She laughed after me and then added. "Your bathroom looks adorable by the way. Maybe after I get a job, I'll give you money to go do mine like that. Love the rugs by the way."

While I had been busy getting my bathroom together, Kate had been busy flirting with mysterious eyes. I doubt she even unpacked a roll of toilet paper, but I had my priorities, and if I could not live in my beautifully decorated home than I would make this place as pleasant as could be.

Kate's voice of sweetness brought my decorating thoughts back to the present. She was only this sweet when she was borrowing something. "I hope you don't mind I borrowed a pair of your shoes."

Did I mind? Not really. Not when I was out shopping every week buying shoes like Choo, Valentino or Chanel, depending on the sale. Now that all of that was over, I guess it still really didn't matter. Ever since we were in the same shoe size, we always lent each other shoes. I just owned at least two hundred more pairs than her. At least, I hoped Clyde would let me have all of my shoes other than what I packed. I finally replied out of curiosity. "Which pair?"

"The ones that start with the designer name with V." There was plenty that started with V. I vaguely remembered looking at her feet when she walked in earlier. They were my Valentino's, black and classy. She would need them to ace getting her sexy foot in the door at some places. However, the black pencil skirt she had on was way too loose. I decided to chase her back down to her room and correct the situation, maybe give her some jewelry I packed. I needed to properly accessorize her day. I even remembered packing a leather black satchel briefcase that would be perfect.

I spent the next hour Pinteresting low budget decorating ideas for the new rental, while Kate worked feverishly around me unpacking and organizing the kitchen, looking like she was dressed for success with my help.

The moment I noticed she had switched gears to calling on jobs and talking about how things were going to work out; I had my mind teetering between my old life with Clyde and why our landlord had me so worked up... sexually that is. She was mumbling about heading out to take care of a few places she needed to make an appearance as I had my mind imagining what kind of body our sexy neighbor has under those shorts and surfer tee.

I sat there feeling unmotivated until I got a text from Clyde. "Six pizzas? Three cases of beer? How many movers and do you really know them?"

I did not like the fact that he was watching my every charge. It was no different when we were married, he just never complained when it was clothes for him or furniture for the home. I quickly texted back. "Some strange men I offered to feed if they helped move boxes inside the rental. Can you have my couch and laptop delivered soon? LL." Which at this particular moment, I was really feeling the loathing part. He kicked me out of his life, and now he still wanted to control my every move. He wanted to know what I was doing and when.

He texted back after five minutes. "Helga is arranging it now. I think she's packing your clothes as well. Will you be home tomorrow?"

I almost texted back that I had lunch at eleven with Monique, instead I decided to lie. "Job interview and errands. Home after one. Please ask Helga to include as many shoes as possible. I really didn't pack much." Yeah right. It's amazing what a deranged woman can roll and stuff into a twelve piece traveler set. I had one large luggage of just my favorite shoes stuffed tight, to make sure I would not have to go without them.

His next text had me worked up into a fit of anger. "I canceled your lunch with Monique. Not a good idea. You will be home all day tomorrow. It will be delivered sometime then. I'll mention shoes to Helga if I get a chance."

I waited a minute and feverishly texted back. "So I can't have any of my old friends?"

He was fast to respond. "Only those you had before me darling."

The darling part threw me for a loop. Was this just all a crazy control game and in the end, he would be willing to take me back, or was this the nasty humorous side of him that I hated to see? I knew, deep down, that it only ended up in him winning whatever it was he wanted. I didn't text him back. Instead, I texted Monique and pretended I had to cancel, knowing full well her husband already told her to do so. I wondered how two incredibly smart, well Monique is, masters in biology - yet she never practiced her degree, got caught up in this evil rich web of money, lies, contentment and deceit.

Monique texted back to call her when I get a chance. At this point, I felt it would be futile, unless I had a phone that Clyde could not see the text or calls on. I figured I would get settled in and then call her home on a phone number no one would recognize.

By midafternoon, the heat from outside was only coming inside all the open windows. The morning breeze was gone, and I was getting cranky without my air conditioner. Kate had been flittering in and out, but the last two hours, she was sight unseen. Being that I did not have a car since the day that I married Clyde, and he always provided a driver, I was beginning to realize that perhaps now that I had shelter taken care of, clothes and my favorite couch on the way along with my laptop, that a car was next on my priority list. A job should be, but I was not quite ready to enter the working world again, besides I had alimony to live off of.

I picked up my cellphone and called Kate. She answered on the third ring. "What's up?" She chimed out like a woman who just got laid; I had to wonder would my beloved smart sis do that so soon or was I just wishful thinking for her.

"You're awful cheery?" I sounded out like it was a question. "Where are you now?"

"Mike's." She answered as if it was no big deal to be at a new interests place on a Monday no less. I was about to say something when she responded to my cheery comment.

"I am cheery. I feel like maybe things will turn around on this job thing. It turns out; there is a company that has inquired about me, and I've got an interview later this week. How about you? Making progress at home?" She asked with hope in her voice that I was getting the place organized and sparkly clean, when, in reality, I cleaned quite a bit, but as for unpacking, well the stacked boxes had not moved.

"I got things cleaned, at least the kitchen and front room no longer look like muddy children lived here. I think Hank thought he cleaned the place, but it was still dirty. The walls need paint. I was hoping you'd come home and get me, so we could go look at colors, besides the heat is starting to get stifling. When did Hank say the air conditioner would get fixed?" I knew I needed to look for a car but buying paint sounded much more fun and a lot like procrastination. I was not looking forward to spending my last bit of money on a clunker that was devastating to drive. At least devastating to someone who had a Lincoln town car drive her everywhere for the last seven years, new car each year.

"I think Hank said he was coming by after work with the part that was needed. He says he is very good with his hands, maybe you ought to let him test those big strong hands out on you?" Kate taunted.

"Maybe I should just get through this divorce. By the way, did you know that Clyde is monitoring my texts, calls, purchases, and cancelling lunch dates?" I sneered out with an agitated voice.

The silence coming from Kate's end of the phone told me that she had her suspicions. She always told me that it was odd how Clyde could find ways of intervening between our plans together or showing up in places unannounced as if he had plans to be there all along. When my sister finally spoke up, her plan held some experience to it. When Kate thought that her fiancée was cheating on her, she put an ap on his phone, that allowed her to get all the emails and texts he was getting. When he was conversing back and forth with his mistress, she saw the messages. When he said he was heading out to work on the weekend, she made sure his location button was turned on and caught him red handed. It was all sneaky detective work but in hindsight, it was how Clyde had been controlling me for the last few years. I guess I just got used to his control issues, but now that I was ousted out of his life, I wanted him out of mine. Unless he changed his mind of course. Ugh, who was I kidding? This was the best thing that I could have happened to me, isn't it? I asked myself these questions and had an internal conversation while Kate was starting to talk about getting me a disposable phone to use for a bit, and that she would be home in about two hours.

"I can't wait another second in this heat, Kate. It's stifling. I would have stayed at the hotel longer if I knew the air conditioner did not work. This is all Hank's fault." I let my voice sound pouty and childish like when, in reality, it wasn't that bad. It was getting hot and my skin felt sticky, but I was no longer confined to the four walls of the hotel. I now had a small patch of backyard with a quite a few flowers growing in it. A large tree that would provide some afternoon shade and a bunch of birds that kept flying in to get something out of the backyard grass. I had my own temporary low end patch of paradise, but the air conditioner was definitely going to make it all easier.

I heard Kate's laughter through the phone. "Well of course it's everybody else's fault but your own."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I growled defensively.

"Never mind. Go over to Hanks. Wash out the coffee pot and return it. He's at work. Turn on his TV or just hang out there with your iPad Clyde brought you at the lawyers. Either way, I won't be home until I am home. And Lexi?" She stopped with a question to my name, and I could hear her sigh on the other end of the phone.

"What Kate?" I sounded as amused as a kid in the dentist office.

"It's all going to work out. You'll see. Things happen for a reason. Me losing my job is your soon to be ex's reason, but I think I wanted out any ways. Too much stress and not enough pay. If I get this new job, it's for an executive woman like me who made her way to the top and can appreciate my hard work. Go cool off at Hanks and just wait for me. We can work on getting the place organized after we have the air conditioner up and running." Her cheeriness chimed through the phone as I wiped the sweat from the back of my neck again.

"Well, just hurry up will ya?" I pleaded with need in my voice.

"I'll try." She spoke out with a giggle and then hung up. I wondered what the two new possible lovers were up to this Monday afternoon that she needed another two hours. I was not that naïve to know that Kate was possibly enjoying her new attraction. I felt a bit of jealously in the fact that my prenup rules forbid it until the divorce was final. Not that I was sure I would, but Hank had made it known that I had choices and options.

I looked around and decided that I would take a quick cool shower and then freshen my makeup and hair at Hank's. By the time I got over there, I forgot all about his coffee pot drying on the dish rack next to the sink.

I took the kitchen back door that led to the path between our yards, through a metal gate that came to my waist and into his backyard. The bushes between us offered some privacy, so I had not really looked hard at what was going on in the backyard. It was a mess, just like I noticed the other day, but now that I was in the yard closer, I could see colored spray paint lines on the dirt and concrete. Stacks of pavers, bags of dirt, and a few containers of bushes and trees, all of which looked like they were desperate for water.

I took my makeup bag inside before it melted in the heat, came back outside and found the water hose hookup. I turned on the water hose and waited until the hot water stop spraying out of the black hose while aimed towards the dry grass. I let the cool of the water run over my wrists for a second. Letting each wrist feel the cool of the water for a brief moment. I had enough of the outdoor heat, so I walked over and began spraying the planter containers until they looked good and soaked. By the time I went back into his air conditioned house, I felt like I had been in an oven. It had to be at least a hundred and two with a high humidity.

Hank's kitchen was similar to our style only reversed and newly remodeled. He had dark wood cabinets with light granite countertop while we had painted white old style cabinets with an off white laminate top that saw better days. His kitchen floor had a tile floor that looked like wood flooring, but it was cool under my feet as I took off my flip-flops at the back door. I let the cool tile lay under my hot feet until I had this incredible urge to spy around and check out his place.

Hank the landlord, slash neighborly flirtation, had a much different home than what I had imagined him to have. There was no cement block and wood entertainment station with posters on the wall. No second hand kitchen appliances and definitely no ratty old futon. The man had tastes in furnishings and design, mostly along the manly dark leather, granite, mixed with steel and contemporary art, but he had a good eye for what went with what. I had to change my thinking a bit about a man I did not really even know. What I did know was he owned both properties, put money into his house, but drove a beat up old truck that has seen better days. He is a sight for my female eyes and something sexually electric that turned me on, other than that, I knew barely anything. I was so wrapped up in my own emotional state that stopping to ask a few questions had never crossed my mind. Perhaps in time, I will, but for now, I wanted to check his place out.

"So he has a nice kitchen." I spoke out to myself as I looked around with a keen eye on his design. I proceeded to walk through the rest of his place with my makeup bag in my hand admiring the industrial décor look and feel to it with dark leather, wood flooring and tables made out of wood and metal. It is a man's place; I thought to myself. No woman has lived here or shared the design ideas so that may hold some promise as to his availability. Not that should be on my mind, but it was. I kind of wondered what his dating slash sexual history was like. Not that I doubted he wasn't good with those big hands of his, I just had this innate fascination with whom Hank really is all of a sudden. And that, was a dangerous place to go to until the divorce was final.

His front room curtains were drawn shut making the room dark, and the air conditioning was running just above where I would keep it, then again, Clyde didn't complain about the energy bill; he just wanted the house to be cool on a hot day and warm on a cold day. I needed to stop comparing Hank to Clyde. They were two entirely different distinctive men in a different financial ball game. Before Clyde came along, guys like Hank looked like my knights in shining armor. At least financially any ways. Maybe Kate was right, as usual, perhaps I needed to make a new self-sufficient life for myself. If a man becomes involved, it is purely for fun.

I let my hand run over the dark leather sofa and thought to myself about how many naked woman Hank might have had on this couch. I let out a light chuckle, and then I looked toward the direction of his room. "Why not?" I questioned myself out loud. Before I knew it, I was standing in the master bedroom doorway of this two bedroom, two bath home. A pondering thought repeated in my mind while flashes of Hank's sexy body might look like spread out, with nothing but a thin sheet covering up his privates. Now this is where he takes the women. This, is definitely, where he seduces the women.

I flipped on the light and noticed the curtains were slightly opened in this room; however, it had north facing double doors that open in the middle, with lots of tree shade from the backyard. They looked as if he just installed them as the edge and framing still had bare wood and was in need of some paint. The soft grey walls illuminated all of his dark wood furniture. The room in his house, which would be mine on my rental, was much larger than mine. I realized this must have been a three bedroom model and he took out the other room to make a much larger master suite. He did a nice job.

I took in the fine art work on the wall ahead of me and noticed the two dark grey sitting chairs with metal studs that lined the arms and back of the chair as if they were a piece of art in themselves. I adverted my eyes back to the artwork and noticed that the artist's rendering was that of two lovers entangled in a mass of oil paint colors. It took a moment to realize it when I first saw it, but now that I was staring at it, this was an expensive piece of art. I knew the gallery that represented this artist. Or shall I say, had known the gallery owner. I would most likely be shunned with disgrace if I walked in there to just look at the art.

I finally let my eyes advert to the center piece of the room, the king size bed. Its rumpled grey and silvery light blue sheets showed signs of restless sleeping. His pillow was on the floor along with the clothes he wore the day before. I walked over and felt the sheets and realized he had good taste in a high thread count. Then I turned to my right and noticed the master bathroom. It looked to be in the middle of renovation as well, not nearly as far along as the rest of the house, but definitely on the cusp of a very masculine looking bathroom.

By the time I finished my makeup and had my long blonde hair up in a twist with a clip, I walked out of the bathroom and found myself gravitating towards his bed. The thought of going back to my hot rental held no appeal. I was not a big fan of daytime television. The exhaustion from lack of sleep from many nights of crying and last night's heat mixed with the air mattress from hell had taken hold of me. I decided that laying back on his bed would be alright. I wasn't going to fall into a deep sleep. I was just going to rest my eyes on his high thread count, enjoying the coolness of the house and the smell from the pillow that was unmistakably the same cologne I smelled on him when I leaned into his body. It was fresh and sporty like. The ease in which my body laid back without hesitation told me that I was truly exhausted. I kept my eyes open as I examined that it was a comfortable mattress, soft yet firm. I scooted myself further back onto his bed and found myself slowly drifting off while thinking about what my new life is going to be. However, flashes of Hanks sexy eyes kept popping up in my dreams that I fell asleep with lusty aspirations.

It wasn't Kate that woke me up, but a very surprised Hank. He was half undressed from his work clothes and only in his underwear before he sat down on his bed, which was really my right leg.

"Hey!" I sat up straight.

"Jesus. Lexi? What they heck are you doing in my bed under the covers?" He stood there with a questioning look on his face, not the least bit embarrassed that he was basically naked. I wanted to explain, but instead my mouth watered from his gloriously sculpted body. He wasn't a desk job worker, and if he was, he put his muscles in motion enough to keep them in shape.

My silent reply had him frowning. "Never mind. Look I need to change so I can work on your air conditioner. I've got the part. Kate called me and told me you were dying from the heat. I was caught up at work and figured I would cut out from work early and get you guys in shape."

I watched him go to his dresser and pull out a worn out comfortable looking tee shirt and put it over his head. The motion caused his stomach muscles to flex, and I felt my body warm to a tingling feeling.

As my eyes wandered up from his muscular legs to his white underwear and then the little indents to a very lean stomach, my mouth began to water thinking about how delectable it would be to run my tongue along his... before I could even finish that thought, I heard my name being called.

"Earth to Lexi? Eyes up here." He joked as he was trying to get my attention while I was thinking about licking body parts like the indent of his abs. I looked into his blue eyes and saw the sparkle of delight he was getting from me admiring his body. He began to toy with me as he took his shirt off and began walking towards me laying on his bed, in only his underwear.

"I decided I didn't want to wear that shirt." He teased as I felt engulfed with heated desire. I practically jumped off his bed like one of those pop up toys that you press down on, and as soon as they had enough pressure, they shoot straight up into the air. I had – enough. I was in enough trouble as it was already. He was trouble with all caps, and I had a prenuptial to oblige to. Section something or other. No boyfriends until the divorce is final, papers were signed, and it was a matter of days or weeks. I could not remember while Hank was seductively smiling at me basically naked.

Just as I was almost out of his room at a sprinter's pace, he called my name, and I stopped frozen in my tracks. I turned with my back to the wall, inches from it, and watched as he walked towards me with a devilish grin on his face while saying my name at a soft sensual tone. "Lexi, Lexi, Lexi. You and I both know that there is some kind of attraction going on."

By the time he got to the word attraction, I was backed up as far as I could go against his bedroom wall, my hands against the coolness of the grey wall and my heart beating a million miles a minute. I could not, nor would I decide to engage in any kind of behavior that could mess up my prenup. The papers were signed. Clyde had friends in high places, great lawyers, and a way of getting things done quickly. In less than a few weeks, I was sure our divorce would be final. I could and should hold off doing anything that Clyde could remotely find out about, especially wanting to kiss the man who had his body now pressed up against mine in only his white underwear, with a firm member inside, his breath against my neck, and his hands above my head, as he pressed into me begging.

"Just one kiss Lexi. He won't know." He teased as I listened to my heart in my ears pounding, felt my body reacting to the sexy man leaning against me, as I rationalized my thoughts. Then it dawned on me, how did he know that Clyde couldn't know? Did Clyde hire him to test me? Offer me a place and test my wills? I would not put it past Clyde.

I put my hands up on his muscular chest. I felt the pounding of his heart racing too. I knew between that and his hard-on that he was turned on, but I needed to not react. I pushed him backwards for which he quickly stepped back with a bit of laughter to his voice, as he proceeded to answer my fears.

"Lexi May? I know you want to, but Kate told me you can't with your prenup agreement. Clyde will never know. I surely won't tell." He joked as he stood there looking just as delectable as he felt against my body. I don't know what Kate told him, but I did know that Clyde always had a way of knowing.

I turned away from him and raced out of his bedroom, down his hallway to the kitchen, out through the back door, and into the sauna of a rental home that I had acquired. I ran into my bathroom, turned the sink facet on cold and then put my wrists under the water to try and cool off. As I did this, I looked into my mirror at my reflection and noticed that I looked flushed and frustrated. Which I was.

I stood in my bathroom for at least another fifteen minutes until my wrist felt frozen. Then I put the drain plug in, filled the sink with cold water, lifted my leg and then dipped one foot at a time into the cool water. I was a desperately hot woman looking for any source of coolness.

As soon as I felt somewhat relieved of my internal flame of desire, I went out to the kitchen, noticed my makeup bag on the counter right next to a full array of his tools. I went to the kitchen bay window by the table and chairs and looked to the very spot where he was out in the backyard, working on the air conditioner, under the heat of the hot summer sun, with no damn shirt on. At least, he had the decency to put on a pair of army green cargo shorts.

I stood there and stared as his back muscles showed motion while he was undoing the screws that held the air conditions cover on. I imagined my bare hands wandering over his naked skin of his back until he stood up, turned my way, and was using a white rag to wipe the sweat off his face and head as his bicep flexed from the motion of the wiping. When he stopped, he looked dead on my way and smiled like he knew he had me. I was in trouble.

I raced over to our old style refrigerator that had the freezer on top and opened it. Inside was the few groceries that I had gotten at the corner store along with a bottle of vodka that I picked up at the liquor store next to it. I opened the bottle, took a large gulp, and screwed the cap back on. By the time I had the bottle back in the freezer, and my entire kitchen cooled by just the air of the freezer itself, Hank was walking in the back kitchen door with a smile on his face and still no shirt.

"It's hot out there. Sure wished I could have waited until it cooled off tonight to fix that ac. But some people are just worth the effort." He teased as he walked over, shirtless, to his tools. He grabbed what I thought was a wrench, a screwdriver and some other tool that was an L shape. He reached for a small plastic bag that appeared to have a part of some kind in it. He held it up and smiled. "Sometimes it's the little things that make a big difference."

All I could say was a show stopping word. "Uh-huh." He smiled with a shake of his head and then turned and walked back outside as I stood there thinking about the fact that when he was shirtless, I was speechless, unlike the other day when I seemed to find ways to speak my mind. Either the heat had fried my brain or the vision of his near naked body had shut me up. It was neither of those; it was the way I felt when his body pressed against mine, that we could go at it for hours of pure sexual gratification. I was in deep now.

Five minutes later I found some semblance of my well-bred manners to take him out a large glass of iced tea in a plastic tumbler. I poked one of my slender fingers to his shoulder in the middle of a slur of expletive words that seemed to help him work better or at least make the air conditioning unit cooperate with him. When he stopped cursing, he turned and noticed the ice tea.

"For me?" He asked as if I would be that mean to drink an ice tea in front of a man in sweltering hot heat.

I replied with my sweetest smile. "I thought you might need this."

"Thanks." He slowly stood up in front of me, using that same small white kitchen towel to wipe his sweat as he drank almost the entire glass of tea. He set what was left down on the ground next to him, offered me a genuinely thankful smile and turned to squat back down to work on the unit. I just stood there for a moment and stared at his naked muscular back wondering a lot more about a man I did not know. How did Kate and he meet? How did he know I was staying at the Hilton? What did he do for a living, and what kind of education did he have? What kind of women did he date? Was he in a good relationship with his mother, because Clyde despised his mother?

"I can hear your mind whirling with a question. What is it that you want to know Lexi?" He kept his back to me working while I stood there.

I did not answer, but I opened my mouth about to ask a million questions when I heard my phone ringing from inside the house. An eerie sound as no one from my previous life had called me since the day Clyde kicked me out.

"My phone!" I excitedly screamed out and went running inside. There on the caller ID was Clyde. He called! Was he wanting me back? Did I pass his little test? Just as I was about to hit the button to return his call, I noticed a voicemail popped up. I decided to listen to his voice first instead.

"Lexi? Stop playing with the neighbor and get out there looking for a job and registering for classes like we discussed. Your couch and laptop are on their way along with some more of your clothes. Perhaps you would have done better to put some of the monthly allowance I gave you to savings instead of so many clothes." His voice had an eerie edge to it. One he would get when he was mad. I could not fathom how he knew I was almost playing with the neighbor, and that I wasn't out looking for a job or registering for college classes.

Feeling heated, not just from the sun but from my situation, I lost it. I dialed Clyde back and waited for him to answer. When he did answer on the third ring, I was shocked and caught off guard.

"Hello Lexi." His voice held that romantic smoothness to it when we first met. I now hated him for that pleasant way he could talk an orgasm out of me.

"Clyde? Sorry I missed your call. How the heck did you know I was at my neighbors and what business is it of yours? Besides, I can't look for a job or register until I have a computer to do so. It would help if I had a car too." Perhaps I was hopeful here, but nevertheless, I was on a roll.

"I tried to stop by earlier to talk to you, and you did not answer the door. I was worried so I put a phone location request in and got back that you were next door. As defensive as you are I can assume you were playing around with your new attractive half naked neighbor. Am I wrong? Do I need to remind you what is at stake here?"

I felt my body tense and my mind increase with anger. My voice came out in a staccato tone. "No Clyde, you do not need to remind me. I was not with my neighbor. I was at his house staying cool since our new rentals air conditioner unit is broken. I'll be here for my computer and couch. And Clyde?"

"Yes Lexi dear?" His voice held laughter as if he was enjoying himself in all of this like it was some strange controlling game, and I was his pawn. I refrained from letting loose for the moment.

"Please just, could we please, I mean, I want to just..." I almost said, come back home, when I stopped myself because I knew that was farthest from the truth. Standing in this house, under sweltering conditions felt freeing somehow. Living with Kate again had me remembering all the old great days of growing up together with my sister in fondness as we were good roommates, as long as we had two bathrooms. "Never mind. I'll be here. Please send all of my things."

"I can't promise what is coming over. Helga is handling that. You can't possibly think I have time to be dealing with your stuff, do you?" Then he hung up, without even a nice goodbye or a chance for me to beg. He was enjoying himself in all of this as I was feeling the anxiety of a divorce and a looming budget. I had twenty three hundred left in my monthly budget, and I was feeling the pinch if I didn't get a job or my neighbor convinced me to do something to break my agreement, then I would be broke.

As I stood there wondering why Clyde would even bother to have his driver take him to this neighborhood if he didn't still care a bit, or perhaps he wanted to just show up here to see the riches to rags story I was living and glorify in it. Either way, Hank picked the wrong time to walk in and announce that the air conditioner was fixed.

I spun on my heels and screamed. "Finally. It should have been fixed before we moved in." I stormed off to my room, leaving him with the astonished look on his face, just as the wonderful noise of cold air pumped through the house from the loud sounding fan from outside.

Half hour later, after standing over the air vent in the floor, my mind finally stopped whirling from all the thoughts going on in my head as the vodka on an empty stomach began to churn. However, my body felt much cooler; I decided to step out of my bedroom and see if Hank was still in my house.

I stopped in the kitchen and felt sad as I noticed all of his tools were packed up and gone. There was a note with his cell phone number on it. "Call me if something else with the property goes wrong. Hank." Next to the note was a purple flower from the backyard garden that had just bloomed the other day. I picked up the flower and habitually placed it to my nose as I smiled while thinking to myself. Nice guy, bad timing.

I went to the front window to look out and see if he was still home, so I could apologize but his old truck was gone. Kate was due home soon. I figured I would make us both a little lunch and then maybe head out to buy me a mattress. Twenty three hundred dollars was not enough to buy a car these days, at least a good running one, and a mattress was in my budget. So the mattress wins out, and I would be sleeping in it solo until my life held some semblance of order and repair.
Chapter Six

Kate had not walked through the door completely when I decided to unload my entire day in a five minute breathless spiel as she was trying to focus on my rambling words. "Oh my god, you will never believe what happened to me today. First, it was..." There was no stopping from that point until I ended with my story about yelling at Hank when he walked through the back door right after I hung up with Clyde.

She looked at me as soon as my head stopped spinning with a wide eyed surprise and a soft sounding 'ok'. Her eyes were wide and glossy. I wasn't even sure if she heard most of what I just said. So I kept my mouth shut as she was holding a package up in her hand and looked as if she needed to say something.

"Here is your new cell phone. Here is your nonfat mocha latte. I like-ee your couch there." Kate exclaimed as she noticed that I turned our kitchen bay window into a coffee settee area with my purple couch, her brown leather reading chair, a small round end table that she had from her apartment. I took one of her pewter colored flat sheets, tied it up with several different dark colors of wrapping ribbon, and draped it over the curtain rod replacing the hideous old cotton ones that were there before, giving the window a bit of fashion on a fixed fund look. I washed the windows until they sparkled like diamonds. If I was going to sit in this window and drink my coffee in the morning, I wanted to at least have a clean window to look out of and a nice place to sit. With the assistance of the backyard, free over growing flowers, that I cut, after admiring Hank's small gesture, I placed several in anything resembling a vase throughout the house. I had the place look rather trendy on a dime store budget.

We sat down across from each other, coffees in hand, and my new cell phone tossed to the side. Kate sat in her brown leather reading chair with her back to the window and I in the small purple settee couch facing to the outside world, which conveniently looked towards Hank's kitchen with no window coverings. Perhaps my redecorating started with a small evil plan in hopes of catching a glimpse of his upper body movement again.

"So you mentioned that Clyde knew every conversation, text, and my locations from my phone, which at first I have got to tell you that I did not believe you but without going into too much detail, I do now. Do I have to have a new number?" I asked as I looked at the much simpler cell phone than my iPhone, but it had a touch screen display. I guess I could live without certain aps until I got my own account and a new iPhone.

Kate looked at me for a brief second as her blue eyes sparkled with mischief. "I'm glad to hear that you don't think I am looney on this because I know he's been tracking you; I just don't want to upset you with a lot of gory details right now. So here's the deal. New number for the new phone, otherwise he would find a way to track you. Keep your old cell phone handy, unless you don't want him to know where you are." She paused so I interjected.

"Like at Hank's. Can you believe the creep came by here and called me out on him?" I practically growled over my anger about the situation and then took a long sip of my coffee in a foam cup container with a cardboard sleeve.

"Who?" Kate asked rather interested. "Clyde or Hank? Did Clyde call you out on Hank or did Hank come here, and that's what's bothering you? I told you Hank was coming by to fix the ac."

I let out a bit of light laughter in remembrance of Hank and his practically naked ploy to seduce me, not to mention the fact that my first five minute spiel to her went completely in one ear and out the other. I shrugged my shoulders more to myself then to her as I tried to offer some clarity. "Clyde." I offered and then took another sip of my coffee as I watched Kate look at me like tell me more.

"And?" She offered out while waiting for my normal five minute info session that can usually be condensed into a few words.

"Well, after I texted you, and the heat was killing me, drenched actually; I decided to go over to Hanks, you know, to return his coffee pot. I wanted to use his bathroom mirror to apply makeup without it melting off of me. Maybe do something with my hair and its sweaty mess." I paused to take another sip of my coffee when my story seemed to be bothering Kate because I was not just telling it all without stopping. I set my coffee down on her small round side table and laughed for a second.

"Hank has one spectacular body." I smiled.

"You didn't?" She quizzed.

I smiled and wiggled my eyebrows.

"But Lexi, your prenup, not that I think Clyde would know if you did, and Hanks not the kind of guy to tell, but oh shit, did Clyde pop in over there unannounced while you two were?"

I put my hand up to her in a stopping motion. "No. He came by here." I put my hand down, leaned back into the couch, put my head back to rest on the back of the couch and spoke to the ceiling. "I was enjoying Hank's high thread count sheets, his air conditioning, and his darkened room when he came home to change from his work dress suit to some grubby clothes to work on the air conditioner. He woke me by sitting on my leg in nothing but his underwear." I lifted my head and looked at Kate, who looked to be waiting for more sultry parts to the story.

I gave her a coy smile and continued on. "I didn't. I wanted to. I mean the man makes me nuts. He's below my standard of average in the money making department. I do like them rich. He's got this twangy sound like he's from the south. Yellow." I said the word mimicking Hank when he says hello, and that got Kate giggling.

"He does have a bit of twang left in him. Maybe you should ask him where he used to live. Any ways, what happened? Did Clyde check your location by phone and came by?" She asked with a rushed breath.

I leaned in towards Kate a bit as if I was about to tell her a secret and lowered my voice in remembrance of what Hank did to me. "He leaned against me in only his whitey tighties and a hard firm member down below. I was so close. I wanted to feel loved again, but I realized before I did that, there was too much at stake. Hank is, well, he's got a body on him that's for sure, but I find myself rather feisty around him, like we could spend way too much time arguing about stupid stuff. I don't know." I paused.

Kate found her moment to interject a few questions of her own. "How did he take it? Hank I mean. Was he mad, offended or did he just act like it was nothing? When did Clyde come by? Before or after you napped in Hank's high thread count?"

"Clyde came by while, located my phone but didn't go over. He texted me that he knew though. Creep. I called him and he actually answered. I explained about the air, and I was just hanging out until it was fixed. I don't know. Now that I do know about this locator thing it explains a lot of times he showed up when we met for a lunch or coffee. He knew how much you did not like him. He just is a controlling man. One that I use to love. One that I actually wanted to go back to at first."

"And now?" Kate asked with sadness in her voice.

"Now, I just want to get on with my life. I mean I don't want to work. I liked being a housewife. I loved shopping and even more so, I loved decorating. I'm good at it. I think. I love having a man, to just sit with, drink a coffee, and talk current events. I don't like school so college sounds daunting, exhausting even. I'm almost thirty now Kate. I'm too old for this."

Kate started to laugh so hard she practically couldn't breathe. When she finally resumed herself, I had a glare on my face that matched my frown.

"Not nice." I offered up as my crossed arms uncrossed themselves, and I reached for my coffee.

"Seriously, Lexi. Thirty is young. This is a new beginning. A restart of your life after a brief interruption. Clyde was, well, how do I put this nicely, an experience? Part of your growing up journey. I think you falling for him had a lot to do with the romantic part the man displayed when you first met. You tend to fall for that gushy stuff. It's nice but when the shows over, you still have to have something to hold onto. A good man is hard to find. Believe me, I know. I thought I had one, and he proved me wrong, but I'm not giving up. I still want to find that one man that enjoys life the way I do. Has similar beliefs and values and one of them is not to get my sister fired."

"Sorry about that. I really am." I offered up.

"That's ok. Hey, change of subject, I interviewed for that other job, and I think it's a much better deal. So sometimes life throws a curve ball, all you can do is put up your catcher's mitt and at least try to catch it."

"Clyde didn't just throw a curve ball; he clocked me upside the head with a bat and left the ball game." I added to our baseball reference of life.

"And to think you wanted to beg him to take you back." She offered up as a suggestion for me to think about all of this.

"I wanted my home back Kate. I built that home. I worked with the contractors on the plans, designed the room layout with the architect. I worked long days and nights with finding just the right design ideas and then shopped for the perfect decoration. It was a daunting two year process. I loved every minute of it, and I wished I could just have some of that with me."

Kate looked around and back to me. "We've only been here over twenty-four hours, and you have the place looking like your special touch. Maybe designing is your next calling. Whatever it is, you have to work Lexi. Two years will go fast and if Clyde is trying to get you to make a prenuptial mistake, with that iron-clad legal document that I told you not to sign, you might make a mistake and lose it all. That wouldn't be all bad. Besides, you deserve some Hank fun time after what Clyde put you through."

She stood up and tossed her empty coffee in the trash and started to walk to the cabinets. The minute she opened the single door small pantry she was shocked to find that I completely organized that as well. "Perhaps organizing is your new forte." She cheerfully voiced as she put a thumbs up to my organizing skills.

"I guess if shopping with other people's money is involved, I'm good at it." We both started to laugh at my so true comment until there was a knock at the kitchen back door.

I got up and walked over to the door. I saw Hank through the glass part of the back door. I stood there frozen, not sure what to do as I had totally embarrassed myself with my outburst earlier today.

"Open it." Kate suggested.

I wryly smiled at Hank and turned my back to him. "I can't. I kind of got prissy with him right after I talked with Clyde and wanted to kill any man who walked this earth."

Through the back door, Hank must have heard me. "I'm not any man Lexi, and I left a tool in there."

I stepped away from the door and started to look around for a spare tool but did not see any while Kate walked over looking disappointed at me, as she opened the door for Hank.

"Come in." She offered.

"Why thank you Kate. Mighty neighborly of you. I wanted to see if I left my small flashlight over here. Yup. Right there." He walked over next to where I was standing, bent down to the floor at his knees, reached under the kitchen cabinet on the floor and held up a small pen like flashlight. He looked up at me leaning against the kitchen countertop, grasping the counter for dear life, as he smiled like he wanted to lift my skirt from the bottom of the yellow and white cotton maxi dress I had on, and do devilish things, or perhaps I wanted him to do it. I weakly smiled back, as he stood up and turned his back to me.

"Kate. You left me a message you needed my assistance?" He offered up.

"Yes. Lexi needs you to help her go buy a mattress." Kate nonchalantly offered up.

With my mouth dropped open, my eyes squinting, I wanted to choke my sister. "I thought you were taking me Kate? I was just going to have it delivered."

She quickly returned my agitated comment. "Not if you want to sleep on it tonight. Hank's got a truck, and he offered his assistance." She smiled at me with a content look as if she had planned this all along. "Hank? Your offer still good?"

He smiled at Kate and turned to me with a look on his face that told me he was not going to take me without some suggestions or two. "Only if she apologizes for her behavior earlier."

"Which behavior?" Was he implying my turning him down or my vicious attitude after talking to Clyde? "Besides." I added. "You probably won't like shopping with me. Why don't you and I go Kate, and then you two can go back and pick it up with his truck?"

"You're impossible sometimes Lexi." Kate walked out of the room, leaving me with Hank, the cool air in the rental house and a desire to break my prenuptial with his sexy smile and casual look that was starting to grow on me. Normally, I was a suit and tie kind of gal, but Hank's sexy legs coming out of those army green cargo shorts reminded me of him with nothing but his underwear on.

I looked at Hank and rushed by him with a quick word of sorry as I ran after Kate, who was already in her bedroom.

"Kate! What the heck?" I asked with an air of disdain to my voice.

She looked exasperated with me surrounded by her unpacked messy room. I might have to start on her room next. "Listen Lexi. Hank is a god send. This rental. His friends moving us in. Fixing the air conditioner and he has a truck. If you can't be around the man for a few hours of mattress shopping without losing control, well..., then go freaking lose control with the man and enjoy yourself. Clyde deserves it. The marriage is over, was over if you ask me, a long time ago, in fact, and he will never know you broke the prenup if you don't tell him."

I glared at her with a pout to my lip, my arms crossed in front of me and my mind whirling with what she just said. It had some appeal to the thought, but I had other plans in mind, and a man like Hank was not a part of it. Kate took my silence in stride along with my glare and continued to lecture me like the normal older sister attitude I always got out of her.

"Look, Lexi. I need to get a few things done before this interview. I've got my own life reeling out of control, and I would like to, just focus on myself. Go apologize to Hank. Get a mattress and come home. Simple as that."

Well, if life with a good looking man driving an old beat up truck on a hot day in the rush of traffic was so good, then why was I sweltering in the hot sun with an overheated truck one hour later, wishing that dreaming and believing life was so simple was true. By the time we made it home, I had no mattress, just a sweat drenched yellow cotton maxi dress with chevron print that had dirt marks on it from Hank's dirty interior of his truck.

I stomped inside in my white wedged heels as best I could for effect as I glared at Kate. "Mind taking me to the mattress store." I had texted her feverishly while we sat in the hot heat until Hank got the truck cooled enough to get the truck to a gas station, where we sat another two hours inside a dirty gas station until his truck was good to drive. During which, the entire time, he was on his phone or messing with his truck while I sat inside of it with my window down, wondering why my life was being so cruel.

"We'll never make it. She offered. It closes in an hour, and it's a half hour away. You won't be able to get one here tonight."

Without noticing that Hank popped in the backdoor behind me, I saw a smile illuminate on Kate's face while looking behind me, so I turned to see what made her so happy. There behind me was that mysterious eyed man standing next to Hank with a smile on his face. His dark eyes lit up when they looked at Kate and only Kate. This was not something that normally, well ever, happened to me. I stomped my feet in a small adjustment to my stance, but internally I was a little miffed he did not even glance at me. When he spoke, it was as if it was to Kate, and I did not even exist in the room. "Hank told me you two needed a ride to the mattress store and want to bring a mattress home tonight. Is this for you Kate?"

I stepped into his direct line of view, blocking his vision of Kate and smiled. "Hi. I'm Lexi. We met the other day when you helped us move. I would love it if you had a truck and could get a mattress for me."

He shook my hand and smiled. "Sure thing Lexi. I'm Mike by the way; it's nice to see you again. Kate, are you coming with Hank and Lexi while we go pick this up?"

I knew his name but had dismissed it after being so caught up in my own little drama. Kate mentioned his name several times in conversations. Mike does this; Mike likes this, Mike... Mike... Mike. I knew he mattered to her is such a short time, but somewhere between riches to rags, I had lost my social kindness, so I stepped aside and away from Kate and Mike, as their no talking interaction of eye looks and smiles were heating up the room.

"Why not?" She offered casually, but I could tell she had a little more than casual thoughts going on in her brain.

I wanted to put my hands on my hips and insist that Hank did not need to go along, but I was in no mood for fighting. I had sweated off all my makeup; my once curled long blonde hair was sticking to my head, and Hank wasn't looking too much better. Then again, he did look kind of sexy with his unruly brown hair all sweaty and his casual clothes sticking to that body underneath that I sort of wanted to get my hands on. I shook my head side to side to erase the image of his near naked body but I couldn't. It was stuck there, replaying in my head over and over, and I had to realize that Hank was that, sexy hot friendly neighbor all grown women dream about, it just was not the right time for me.

The ride to the mattress store was all Kate and Mike casually talking while Mike drove, and Kate sat in the passenger front seat. Hank and I sat silently staring ahead watching the two talk away. Our once sweaty bodies and limp hair had refreshed in the cool air of the four door truck this guy drove. It was a brand new truck with all the bells and whistles. It sure would be nice if Hank owned a newer car, might make me think he was a bit of a better choice than sticking to my prenuptial.

As if my mind had not already decided that all men were trouble, I had made up my mind that I had to start getting my life in order and not right back in bed with a man while depending on that man. Sexually enticing Hank, would have to just be my neighbor and landlord.

On the ride there, my iPhone dinged with a text from Clyde. Kate heard the distinguishable tone and quickly reared her head back to look at me with a nonverbal threat, of 'I told you to leave that phone in your dresser, and now he knows where you are at'. I sent her back a crooked smile as I felt Hank and Mike picked up on the situation. My phone dinged again with another text from Clyde, so I decided to take it out of my purse and look at what my new arch nemesis had to say to me. As I did this, Kate started to talk to Mike about my divorce while Hank listened on. It wasn't the time or place for me to get mad at her as she really wasn't saying much, but I got the sense that Hank would have liked to be anywhere but with me at the moment.

I glanced down at my phone, slide the button with my finger and viewed the two texts.

Lexi? Either someone stole your phone, or you wanted to sit on the freeway for what? Call me if your phone is stolen.

I need to see you.

There it was. The text I had been wanting in the beginning, and now I was dreading. Our marriage was over, the divorce final in just a few weeks' time. I had a list of do's and don'ts, and now that I was no longer under his constant control; he felt a bit of loss of control over me, and that was something Clyde never liked to feel.

I went into my phone and deleted the texts just so Kate wouldn't check. I sent Clyde a text back. 'Tomorrow, Fernando's, eleven, send a driver for me." Fernando's was our favorite Italian restaurant that allowed privacy and intimate conversation. I waited for the green bar to slide across showing sent and felt the truck pull into the mattress parking lot. I deleted the text I sent to Clyde hoping Hank had not decided to look over my shoulder to see what I typed. I turned my location to off and for safe measure I powered off my phone. Besides, nobody from my previous life had been calling me, and no job offers will come flying in if I have not applied anywhere.

The mattress store closed in twenty-two minutes. Kate grabbed my hand as Mike opened the front glass door for us. Kate acted rushed to take me over to the clearance section. I let her drag me out of earshot as I talked sideways out of my mouth while walking towards the big red sign with yellow letters. CLEARANCE. I gulped hard and muttered. "I do not want to buy a used, or returned mattress."

"It's just out of stock or discontinued line, Lexi." She sounded exasperated.

Out of nowhere a good looking sales clerk about five years younger than me when I am not being truthful about my age, and seven or eight years younger if I was. "Can I help you ladies?" His long brown hair had a youthful style to it, while his blue eyes sparkled with dollar signs and his cheap white dress shirt was adorned with a garage sale looking tie. He had spunk though. He smiled and began to ask about what size mattress, firm or soft, immediate delivery, and then he looked at me and smiled. "You look like a top of the line, special order kind of mattress?"

Kate quickly stood in front of me and put a hand behind her back towards me, to hold me back. I actually thought the comment was cute in a flirtatious way while I think Kate thought I might come unglued. I was already past that point. "She's in need to take home a great mattress, at a great price, tonight kind of gal." Then she turned her back to him and looked me in the eyes. "Queen of full Lexi? You have more boxes coming and no room to store them. A California King is out of the question." She was referring to the fact that Clyde agreed to have Helga hire someone to box up the remainder of my clothes that use to adorn a dressing room bigger than our rental and was having them delivered the day after next. I was to store them in my very small rental bedroom, magically somehow.

I stepped aside from Kate and gave the young sales man a flirtatious smile which caught Hank's attention out of the corner of my eye. If I was not mistaken, he showed a bit of jealousy, yet I continued on. I looped my arm around the young salesman arm and began to walk him over to the more expensive mattresses. As I began to sit on different mattresses and flirt with the salesman, Kate was walking around with Mike, and he had her laughing, while Hank sat in a chair against the window, legs open, elbows on knees and a look that he tossed my way that told me he knew what I was up to and did not agree to it. I turned my head, so I did not have to have him in my line of sight, as I now focused all my attention on getting the salesman to find me a discount.

Ten minutes later, the delivery bay doors had my full size, pillow top, plush firm mattress that I purchased at thirty percent off. As the two men stood outside making sure the mattress was loaded correctly and secured, Kate turned to me from the front seat and smiled at me in the back seat. "I forgot how good you are at getting a price down. All those years before Clyde, we got by on so little and tonight; I think you got a great deal. Tomorrow, use that charm and get a job. You know, in case Clyde takes away his alimony somehow."

"About tomorrow, I've got plenty left to buy a used car if I am lucky but first I am meeting..." I started and then the truck doors opened, and the guys started to get in while talking. I tossed out a quick 'never mind', and then I decided to keep quiet about meeting with Clyde and hoping to get a car out of him the rest of the way home. My mind was reeling. Kate was right; I needed to hunt for a job and not be out meeting my ex-husband for a what? Quickie? Confirmation that I'll be a good little girl? Or worse. With Clyde, it was always a surprise. I guess that is why the fact that he ended our marriage over a text and leaving my life to a major adjustment did not surprise me so much that I had time to adjust to it. I felt a huge pulse of nerves pinch my head as I thought about Clyde. I began to rub my temples and pulled mentally inward while drowning out the casual conversation in the truck as we drove home.

The minute the two men had my bed set up against the wall on a small metal frame, no fancy headboard or footboard; I still felt relief that I would get a good night's sleep. I thanked Mike and Hank for their help and asked if they could excuse me.

The moment they walked out of my room, Kate motioned that she would be right back. Chances were she was going to say a flirtatious goodnight and thank you to Mike that did not need to have me or Hank present.

I laid on my unmade bed with pulsing migraine thoughts about having lunch with Clyde, and why I was having so much trouble just focusing on getting a job and moving on with my life. Depending on Clyde was going to be daunting. More daunting than I could ever imagine. I really had to rethink sticking to the prenup. The glitter from my wedding ring on my right ring finger caught some setting light that came into my room through the window and sparkled against the ceiling. I could just sell my ring and find a way to get back on my own two feet. With thoughts of independence, I let my mind slow the whirly ride it was on and fade off into a peaceful vision of Hank's sparkling blue eyes and sexy smile. Somehow, no matter how mad I was with him, even if it wasn't his fault, and I knew it, my mind wanted to wander over Hanks heavenly body parts. I knew I was in for some capital letter trouble, pretty darn soon.

Somehow I had drifted off only to be awoken to the soft stroke of his hand on the side of my face while he whispered my name. I felt so dreamy that I did not instantly stir. I reviled in the way his thumb stroked my lower cheek, his voice calling my name, and the weight of his body resting against mine sleeping on the bed.

"Lexi. Lexi wake up. We're ordering some dinner. Are you hungry?" His deep voice in a whisper caused my nipples to perk up as my mind relaxed into a sexual awareness that could easily cause me to wake with intentions in mind.

The moment his lips grazed against my ear, his voice whispered into it and his body pressed against mine; I felt almost completely done for. Prenup or not, this man had a way of turning me on yet infuriating me. I knew that sexually I needed a human connection to aid me in my loss, while my brain told me he would never be the type of man that I would be with, and my heart felt feelings for the man already. Right now, as he whispered, I wanted to turn and put my arms around him and kiss him silly, instead I laid still breathing softly.

"Lexi. Lexi, Kate sent me in here. I was told to wake you up."

Yes, I was enjoying this moment of dreamland in real time, until he said the next thing.

"I know you're awake. Your nipples are hard, and your breathing is fast. You dreaming about me?" Then he laughed lightly and sat up off my new bed that I had not even taken the time to dress up with a soft blanket or pillows like I normally would.

I took a second and then I rolled to my back, stretched my arms above me as I curved my body in an 's' shape and then pretended to slowly wake with small slits to my eyes. "Hank?" I softly whispered out. "When did you come in?"

"Right before your nipples got hard. Very firm by the way." He added flirtatiously as we both knew he had leaned against the side of one just enough to know.

I toyed with him by slowly getting up onto my elbows, tossing my hair a bit, biting my lip by looking down at the girls and then lifted my eyes to his and held his stance long enough that I watched the pupils in his eyes enlarge, and his body shifted a bit.

Just as he was about to say something. Something that I was sure was a sexual invitation that I did not know if I could resist because with the way he was looking at me and my strong desire to seduce and kiss him, I knew we would. That is, it could have, until Kate snuck up from around the corner like a happy teenager asking if I made up my mind between the shrimp lo mein or the steamed vegetables I normally ordered. The moment fleeted with the realization that I loved my sister and loved living with her; that right now, I just needed to get my life in order, and a man was not on the menu.
Chapter Seven

It felt good to have friends over for takeout and a nice bottle of wine. Kate and Mike went and picked up the Chinese and bottles of wine along with two six packs of bottled imported beer, while Hank went home to shower and change. I decided that my new mattress needed bedding so I borrowed from an extra set of Kate's queen size set. I found distraction until the food came, by washing my makeup completely off, twisting my hair up in a loose ponytail that was tucked back into itself, and putting on the most nonsexual clothes I could find. I did not have many; however, by the time we all gathered around the small kitchen sitting area I set up, with a kitchen chair pulled in for enough sitting, a drink in my system, and a few laughs, I was feeling completely comfortable. Actually, for the first time in a long while, I felt great.

The guys asked me why I decided on doing the kitchen set up the way I had, and I just replied with laughter and some truth. "Kate loves to read in the sunshine, and this window has the best in the morning. I love to watch..." I paused. "The birds." It was the first thing that came to my mind. Half naked neighbor drinking coffee in the early morning sun gives me a female woody would not have been appropriate at this time.

Hank answered first with an unsure look on his face. "I see. So you're watching the birds in the morning?"

Did he know I was staring at him past the small yard space between us, so I could see him drink his morning coffee and then stretch while flexing his muscles, all while he did his stretching he had not put on a shirt yet?

Kate responded first after a sip of her red wine. "Yup, Lexi is a bird lover. Always has been. She likes the ones with a broad chest and strong feathers." Then she laughed, which caused a huge smile out of Mike. I would have to be a blind fool not to think he did not think that she was the best thing since his imported beer he likes to drink.

"I see." Hank's sarcastic tone led me to believe that the show he put on this morning was for me. I felt a bit intrigued by that.

I shoved a huge bite of steamed vegetables in my mouth and washed it down with a large sip of wine. 'Redirecting time.' I echoed out in my head. "So Mike? What do you do for a living?"

"Property lawyer. Hank and I went to school for the first two years until he decided he hated law and switched to property management." He joked, but I sensed there was more to this story about Hank. I didn't even know what he did, and I guess I should not be rude and not ask him, so I quickly smiled at Mike and then turned to Hank.

"Then you do what Hank?" I watched him mull in his mind for a second before answering, as if he was embarrassed that he was not a successful lawyer like Mike, assuming Mike was a successful lawyer.

When he finally answered he did so with a two word answer and then took a large bite of his sesame chicken. "Property management."

I set my box of takeout down on the small round café table next to the big leather reading chair I was sitting in. Normally, Kate sat here and I sat on my couch, but tonight Kate and Mike cozied up on my purple couch which if she drops one bit of sauce on it, I will scream. Hank was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs turned backwards looking sexy as he ate from a cardboard box of food. I shook my head for a second mentally dispersing away my sexual thoughts before I asked the next question.

"What made you get into property management?" I asked politely and then took a sip of my wine.

Mike answered for him as if he knew his buddy did not want to talk about it. "Family business. Hey Kate, how's the job hunting going?"

A quick diversion from a great pal. I frowned and looked at Kate as she talked for the next ten minutes about this new job she might have lined up. As for me, I could not eat another bite knowing that tomorrow, I was meeting Clyde, and I had bad feelings about it. I should be cutting the cord, burning the bridge, hell I should be getting even with the son of a bitch. However, something kept me from doing that. Not just the prenup, but my mother did not raise me to strike back at an evil person. She also did not raise me to be dependent on men and look where that childrearing lesson led me.

By the time things were winding down and the men were talking about work tomorrow, I could tell Mike did not want to leave, but he had a nine am court date to get prepared for. Kate said she had an early interview and Hank mentioned having the day off to take care of personal business tomorrow that he wanted to get an early start on. I had nothing planned but an early lunch with Clyde. Something told me that what was left on my line of credit should not be done with shopping, yet after Clyde, I would need an emotional release.

I caught Mike kissing Kate at the end of the driveway, and my tummy fluttered for her. Then out of the corner of my eye, Hank was drinking one of the import beers in his backyard in the dark. I couldn't stop myself as I walked out the back kitchen door to the other side of the fence where he was standing.

"It's dark out here." I offered up while he took a sip of his beer and then lowered it to look at me like he wished he was drinking me. He had the look of a hungry man, and I was his bait, but I could not leave. It was a nice night out with the stars in the sky and the quarter moon hanging low. The leaves in the tree were blowing, and I was drawn to this man, even if I did not want to be.

Hank finally spoke up to me. "What's your plan Lexi?"

I thought that was kind of personal question considering not much else was discussed tonight but Mike's job, his loft with a view of the city skyline, and Kate's possible new job. Nothing about Hank, other than he had a huge backyard remodel in the works for this week. Nothing about me, which was so unusual for me. Normally, when I had been dining with friends, we would talk about my next party, our shopping, the new furniture, etc. I smiled seductively and answered. "Plan for what... Hank?"

He took a step towards me and got inches away from my face. Looking down into my eyes now as without heels, he was a good couple inches higher than my five seven height. "Lexi, Lexi, Lexi. You have so much going for you. Open your eyes and reach out to the world."

I decided to do just that. I reached out, pulled his head towards me, and put my lips on his for a hungry aggressive kiss. My tongue found his and forged its way around to discover the taste of his imported beer mixed with a warm sensation. By the time, I pulled away, I was so close to jumping that fence and seducing that man out of his clothes under the night sky with a total loss of control in mind.

He took the first step back and shook his head. "I think you've had too much wine, because the last thing we should be doing right now is breaking your prenup until you find a job."

I started to fume. Kate must have told him. That traitor was going to hear about it as soon as she parted from Mike's lips at the end of our driveway, which was not looking like anytime soon. What made it worse, was the fact that Hank had been flirting with me all along, driving me insane, making passes and now that I crossed that bridge, he wants to parent me and tell me what to do.

The most intelligent thing I could think to do was stomp my foot, press my closed fists to the side of my body and turn with an 'uh' sound. I heard him call out to me from behind as I opened the back kitchen door. "Wait Lexi. Wait a minute."

Nope. I did not wait nor did I go back out. I went into my room and fell asleep crying about how he was right. I needed to get a job, get my life in order, get over Clyde, and what happened to me. Once I got my life in order, then I could go around seducing men.

When Kate came in to say goodnight to me and my darkened room, I pretended to be fast asleep. It was better this way. I needed to get myself in order and not get mad at her. I'm sure her intentions were meant well, but discussing my personal business without asking was going to be a hot topic between her and me once I cooled off a bit.

The next morning, I got up at six am and went for a long jog. It had been a long time since I jogged on a street. My exercise routine was always exclusive membership based with Clyde. Now, I was hoofing it around the neighborhood, Nike to concrete, ear buds in, and music going. I let the rhythm of my ponytail high on my head swish back and forth as I ran with an intention to get out of my system the nervous crazy feeling I was carrying with me. Clyde was running through my veins with a vengeance. I could not, would not, give in to the man's romantic wiles if he so inclined to try. Nor would I become the other woman to the woman who cheated with him behind my back, or perhaps I could. No, I couldn't. Then, there was Kate and her new romance, new job and new outlook on life. I wanted to choke her for sharing my personal business. Last was Hank and that kiss. The kiss that replayed in my mind over and over while I tried to sleep last night.

With each step I ran, my body felt alive and thankful for the long overdue exercise. I let the rhythm of my feet run away from my problems as I turned each corner and found a steep street to run up. Once I hit the top I turned right and kept on running.

When I finally rounded the corner of my street, I saw Hank outside in his driveway unloading something from his truck. He looked my way immediately and then turned his body to lean against the open tailgate of his truck, crossed his arms and flexed his biceps in the light blue tee shirt he was wearing. His feet crossed with the work boots he was wearing and the faded jeans he had on, had seen better days, but they looked good on him.

With all intensive purpose, I was going to stride right past him but his smile, his eyes; they beckoned me, so I stopped and jogged in place for a moment while pulling my ear buds from my ears.

"Good morning sunshine!" He sounded so excited to see me. I knew I looked exhausted and sweat drenched, but he seemed to see me like a fresh flower opening in the morning sun.

I tilted my head and smiled. "Good morning." I casually tossed the greeting back with kindness. Then I watched his eyes divert to my chest where my boobs might have been doing something exciting for him. When his eyes looked back to mine, I knew I turned him on. So what did he care about a prenup? He should want to be my rebound man. A little fun, no commitment, and perhaps a new friendship. Maybe that was what I should offer.

"Kate mentioned you had a thing with Clyde today. You gonna be ok?"

How the heck did Kate know that? I mentally grumbled in my head as I squinted my eyes and decided that he needed to understand my desire for personal space. "Listen Hank. About last night. I was lonely; the wine was divine, and I would have kissed that tree between our houses. As for Clyde, well I think I've got this all under control." I knew I did not mean any of the nasty respite that I just dumped his way, but I was beginning to feel like an over parented child. I was mad about a lot of things, and Hank was pressing all the wrong buttons.

He quickly responded. "You do, do you? Because I think after a man like that pulls a number on a woman like you that maybe you might need a little advice."

"Advice?" I stammered. "The only advice I think you might be able to give me is some property advice my friend. As for that kiss, well I was buzzed and lonely, but now that I see you in the light of day, my senses have come back to me, and my wits are back. Have a nice day, Hank."

I turned and ran inside to let the long hot shower take my mind off of everything. The entire time my mind danced up and down like I was a kid on a springy trampoline. One minute my mind was up and thinking pretty blue skies, attractive neighbor that can kiss, and an ex that might be regretting his choices. Then came the downward bounce where I wondered about Kate and how she knew. Did Clyde and her talk since I last texted him? Did Clyde want something I was not willing to give, and why the heck did Hank have to be so noisy and into my business? I let out a mental growl every time I felt my mind wander into the dark of it all.

By the time I was dressed for an expensive lunch in my hip hugging Chanel black pencil skirt with the long slit up the back, tight fitting white button up collared Chanel blouse that was sleeveless and ruffled in the front, I felt powerful in my skin. Sexy, yet serious. My hair came out great. I could always count on a pair of Louboutin high heels to make me feel in charge. I had a plan to woo Clyde back not as my husband but a dear friend who might want to see his ex-wife make something of herself, perhaps support her college effort, maybe a car to get around or better yet, aid her in a startup decorating business. He had so many businesses he was involved in, what would be one more?

The driver who was due to pick me up was running late. I glanced out the front room window to the end of our driveway and saw Hank working hard. His shirt off, back tanned and muscles flexing, standing in his driveway while he lifted a heavy bag of something landscape material out of the back of his truck. It caused a stirring in my gut to fill with desire. I let myself watch him through the window as his body was like magic in motion, and I could not help to think that I was a bit over reactive and perhaps a bit bitchy like to him. However, I had bigger things on my mind than playing mental sex with my eyes to a man who made me crazy with his suggestions that I had to wonder what it was he wanted to tell me.

I turned away from the window and went into the kitchen to grab my phone off the charger and noticed the note from Kate.

"Sorry I snooped. I saw Clyde's confirmation for lunch today. Hope Clyde isn't an ass at lunch. I told him to be nice, and I deleted all of our texts back and forth on your phone while you were out jogging. Don't be mad. Love Kate." So that was how Hank knew. How Kate knew, and now I had a group of individuals who would most likely quiz me about my day. With Kate, I guess I didn't really mind because I would share the information with her any ways, but with Hank, I really did not want my weakness of the situation to be known. How could I ever start something with a man who knew so much about my gruesome past? Not that I really thought anything serious would transpire between us, just that the fact that if things did not start to change back between Clyde and myself, I wanted the next man I was to be with to not know a single thing about what I just went through. It had been a humiliated experience enough as it is. Kate and I were due for a long talk, starting with her keeping Hank out of my business.

I stuffed my cell phone into my black leather Coach purse and then walked over to the air conditioner control and turned the air up a few degrees to save on electricity, figuring I would not be home and since Kate put me in charge of paying the electric bill, as I liked it so cold, I was doing the fiscally responsible thing. Being on a budget again was really beginning to suck. That perhaps, whatever it was that Clyde wanted to see me about could hold some ounce of assistance to this lifestyle he forced me back into. My budget and thriftiness lifestyle seemed so long ago, when really it had only been seven years. I spent a lifetime of growing up in frugality but in just that short time of caviar dreams; I was hungry to have it all back again. So hungry, that having Clyde wanting to take me back, or finding a man like him, did not seem so bad after all.

I heard the horn of the driver in the black town car. I grabbed the house key by the front door, shoved it in my purse, pulled the locked door behind me until it closed, tested it twice to make sure the locked doorknob did not open like it had once, and then took my time walking down the few concrete steps and walkway towards the driver holding open the door. To my right was Hank, wiping sweat from his forehead as I smiled weakly his way. With an ounce of hope that the day would end in my favor, I tossed out a parting greeting. "Don't work too hard Hank."

He did not reply, but the driver did find it necessary just before he closed the door to explain why he was late. "Sorry about being late. Clyde needed me to pick Natalie up at the spa and take her back to the house."

So it was official. Clyde had moved Natalie into our home, taken over my life, and pampered her senseless, all so she would do that one thing I refused to do. I sat back in my seat, wanting to enjoy the luxury air conditioned ride to the restaurant, instead; I crossed my arms in front of me and softly spoke to the driver through the open window. "Quite alright. I wasn't ready any ways."

As I realized I had been ready an hour before the time, so anxious to see Clyde and excited that maybe I could get a morsel of his attention, I knew I had been in too deep for too long in that dark lonely hole called dependency. As the driver backed out of the driveway after having to wait for a rock landscape truck that just pulled up, I saw a glimpse of Hank smiling as he greeted the driver. His eyes adverted to the car I was in for only a second, and I swore I saw a quick glimpse of disappointment on his face. Was he disappointed in me for going to meet Clyde, or that I was such an evil witch to him earlier this morning?

I let out a huge breath of air I was holding and realized that I had to regain some sense of control. As my empty stomach that once ached for the delicious bites of our once favorite restaurant, one that I could no longer afford, grumbled with hunger, I realized that I would most likely not even eat two bites. My feelings about all of this had just gone from achy to raw. I was replaced, just like that. Everyone was treating me like a two year old that could not think for herself. Well, I would show them. I will walk away from lunch today with something, anything from Clyde, and I will make him give it to me like he felt he owed it to me.

The drive was short. Too short. I needed a few more minutes to compose myself and my plan. As the driver parked I asked him to give me a minute to myself. His response irked me. "Mr. Nubbins is waiting inside for you. I would not keep him waiting too long." Then he got out and went around to the passenger back door and opened it for me. I wanted to scream or accidentally let the point of my heel sink into his black patent leather shoe, instead I got out, and told him thanks. So much for my evil bravado, I must have wasted it all on Hank.

The moment I sat down at the table, while Clyde was talking to someone on the phone, I knew this lunch was not going to go well. I looked over at the man who once had swept me away with his mature looks and debonair style, now looked older, uglier and not so attractive anymore. I had to preserve myself the moment that I heard him say, 'she's here, got to go love, see you in a bit'. That was the moment, I felt myself want to throw up. Instead, I reached for the goblet glass of water on the table and drank half of it down. I then reached into my purse and turned on the recording ap on my iPhone, and set it in my lap. I set my purse off to the other chair. Whatever it was Clyde wanted from me; I was going to get on my phone.

He started out politely as soon as he turned his phone over on the table. "You look lovely Lexi. Divorce seems to suit you." However, he could not refrain. "I don't see that scowl on your face any longer, and I did not feel the daggers shooting out of you as you sat down."

I refrained from answering, but I felt tears in my eyes starting to water up. I looked up for a second and then back down to meet his eyes. I took in a deep breath and then decided to speak from the heart. "I think we both made a lot of gestures that caused pain. I wish that we could go back to that day we first met. The one where you swept me off my feet with one romantic gesture after another. If I had to do it all over again, things would be different. We would be sitting somewhere working on our marriage not participating with others by starting new with them."

I felt as if I had spoken the truth, mostly, and that he owed me an honest reflection on our years together, instead he squinted his eyes and tossed out an accusation that was somewhat far from the truth. "So you have acquainted yourself with your neighbor already. That did not take you long. Although why a man with his kind of money chooses to live there and drive that old truck is beyond me. You could do so much better though. I have had several old acquaintances contact me, asking if you would mind." He tossed the comment out there gingerly as if he was talking about trading stock or property. I was neither but I knew at this very moment that Clyde had different ideas. Then I heard his voice add to the salt to the wound comment he just made. "That is if you mind."

"Mind what?" I practically screamed and noticed some of the other patrons were not up to my angry antics in a romantic setting, so I lowered my voice so that only Clyde, and the recorder, could hear me. "Mind what, Clyde? If I remember correctly, you and I were in love once. You were only twenty years older when we met, and it seemed like a huge age gap but we were in love, were we not? Weren't we?" My last sentence was sounding as if I was pleading for a yes answer from him as he refrained from answering me.

When he finally did speak up, it was cut short by his phone ringing. "Lexi, darling, you really should open your eyes about life; it wasn't like we were in love, it was more like..." Then he cut himself off to answer his phone. Our life together did not even equate to a full sentence of appreciation. I felt a vulgar feeling in my gut as I wanted to self-preserve and lash out, knowing full well it would get me nowhere. I had given up a life that I was ok with. I knew nothing better than what I had. To marry a man who I thought loved me, took care of me, pampered me, and then without notice, cut me out of his life completely, explained my ignorance in all of this.

I heard it out of my mouth as I mulled those thoughts over in my head without even realizing I had said it, and as soon as I did, I had his attention. "I guess there were signs." I watched him get off with the caller and put his phone down. "I suppose I could have done things differently." I now had his full attention. "I wish I would have..." I stalled my last word as I saw that glimmer of desire spread through his eyes like wild fired. He still wanted me to and with that dangling sentence his perverted mind went right to that very idea that put a wedge in our marriage, a wedge the size of Grand Canyon.

He spoke up a word of encouragement as if he was trying to entice me to do something for him. "Yes?"

As I paused before answering, the silence was killing him. I was about to say I wish I would not have agreed to the prenup, but instead he wanted me to fill in that gap of words with, I wish I would have agreed to your sexual fantasy. When I withheld saying anything, he proceeded to finish it for me.

"You wish you would have agreed with me that what I wanted sexually was really not that much to ask of you. Didn't you Lexi darling? Don't you wish now that you could just go back to that night? Go back, and do what I asked of you so that you could just be with me today?" His eyes glimmered with excitement like mine always did at a designer shoe sale. His hands moved together in a twisting motion like he could not refrain the excitement any longer, as if the idea of me still submitting to his suggestion was a possibility.

He continued on as I held a solemn look to my face, trying not to react with any emotion. "I know you regret the moment you said no so hastily without thinking it through, and darling, I know how much you hated yourself for that reaction you had after getting so rip roaring drunk, and then announcing our little private business at my work. I know you feel badly. I feel badly for you. The thing is, Lexi darling, you did, and that we cannot go back for lost time or large mistakes like the ones you made. However..." His voice dangled with a suggestion that I was afraid he would ask, and I would be so desperate to accept. I opened my mouth but could not speak. The vulgar feelings I had over what he just said got stuck in my throat, as I knew I could not, nor would I, ever get back with this man for any amount of anything, knowing that what he was about to say next would be the one thing that might set me over the cliff with despair.

He continued on gleefully. "You could do it now. You know that, you know you should have. I guess I could compensate you someway. Let's say a raise in your alimony or a car to drive yourself around in. I have that three year old silver Audi A8 sitting in the extra bay I never drive. I could let you borrow that, you know to get to school and a job that I can get you, if you decide that you are ready, and now you might actually enjoy yourself."

I sat quiet and perplexed. Why would a man with all his money need to pursue a woman he just divorced when he could buy the sexual act he was wanting? Because what it all boils down to is control, and I never totally gave in to him. I was a challenge for him in the beginning. I knew that because he teased me that I kept him on his toes and always thinking of ways to convince me to do the things he wanted and not just sexually but in general in our marriage. It was never a marriage for him; it was a game, and I lived a life of fantasy knowing that every turn held devious deception.

I finally spoke up loud enough the recording ap could hear. "I am not sure if we are on the same page. Why don't you whisper into my ear what it is you want from me exactly and what it is you will give me in return? You know, so I am completely understanding you, and we can come to an agreement that I don't misinterpret." I used my seductive voice and alluring wiles to convince him that what he was about to do was all part of the game.

He came and sat next to me from his seat across, just as the salad he ordered for us arrived. I took the opportunity to hold the phone at just the right angle under the table to make sure that as soon as he whispered the suggestion, the phone recorder could hear.

The moment the words were spoken at a level that weren't even that much of a whisper, my stomach churned with acid. I wanted to punch the man who turned my life into a mess, instead I leaned towards him and replied.

"I am really not that kind of woman, Clyde. I never was. I was always willing to try within reason, but you have got to realize that the sweet innocent twenty two year old that you romantically swept off her feet was genuinely in love with you. I can only hope you come to a realization of that. What I had for you was love. If it wasn't that for you, than I am sorry for you. I only want what is best for both of us now, and I don't think I can do that."

He got up and looked awkwardly around the room in hopes that his message was not heard and mostly that what I was saying was not catching anyone's attention. The tables were far enough apart at this restaurant for that same reason. Most people that could afford to pay to eat here, did not want to be heard.

By the time he sat back down in the seat directly across from me, I decided to add to my speech with a voice that I felt should finally be heard. I could only be honest and truthful now because I had a feeling it was all going to come to an end and soon, that including any money that Clyde would ever conceive of giving me again. "Clyde, I loved you. I still love you in a way that I never fully got over what just happened between us in such an expedient way. One moment I was shopping for a dress to wear to a gala with you and the next, well I was lost. Then somehow, with the power you hold, you got my sister fired, yet we both have found a way to move on. Kate and I love each other as sisters, and we will always be there for one another. That is something I thought you and I had, but I guess I was the fool in all of this. I could use your help to get back on my feet, but if you insist on making my life a mess again, I will find a way to survive."

Clyde had an awkward look on his face like my submission of truth was just messing up the emotional part to this game he had decided to play. I wanted no part of it, and he was figuring that out quickly. He motioned for the check from the waiter and then slipped two one hundred dollar bills into the black folder with the check without even looking at it. "Keep the change." He growled at the male waiter without even looking at him.

"Thank you sir." The man replied and briskly walked away as he sensed that whatever was happening at our table was something he wanted no part of.

When Clyde finished putting his wallet into his dress suit pocket, he finally looked at me. "I will have Helga get all of your things to you by the end of this week. Carson will drive you home. After that you are totally and completely on your own, and I think you know what I mean by that."

I did. No more money. No more lingering pressure to follow the prenup. No more desire to find a way back into my old life. I had a one sided loveless marriage, while the other half thought she was in a fairytale. Now that my bubble was busted with my own magic pointed pen of words, I knew there was no going back.

Clyde stood and adjusted his suit jacket. "Stay. Finish the meal. The wine. Or take it all home in a doggie bag. I believe I have a beautiful woman waiting for me at home, and since you turned down the offer, I will simply arrange for someone else. Good day Lexi, and good luck with your life."

He turned and walked away not waiting for my response. I sat there with my eyes open wide in surprise that he had truly been such a mean man all along. Was the money and romantic notions what blinded me from the truth, or was I just a dim witted blonde like my sister use to call me when I did stupid stuff?

The minute Clyde was gone; the waiter showed up and asked if I wanted to take my meal home. I replied. "No. Mr. Nubbins said everything is paid for. I would like to enjoy the lunch he ordered along with the wine if you don't mind?"

"Not at all Miss. Shall I take away the extra place settings?" The waiter offered as a gesture of kindness.

"No. I changed my mind. Can you just box up the lunches for me, both of them please? I think I will take it to go."

"As you wish." The waiter gestured with a slight bow and then stood tall to turn and walk away.

By the time I was back in the black town car with Carson at the wheel and my large bag of food, I felt a bit of freedom to my civility. I had been a woman who was controlled, lost, and now I had to find myself. Yet, not just right now. Right now, I needed something to ground me.

"Carson, there's a park a few blocks from my house on the south side. Just take me there." I asked with a distance in my voice as my mind reeled with what just happened to me.

"Do you want me to wait there, because Mr. Nubbins just texted me with an address to pick someone up soon." His voice sounded as if he was torn between what he wanted to do for me as a person and what he had to do as a job.

I knew what that was all about and all the merrier to Natalie and Clyde. May they enjoy themselves, or really not for the sake of what the two did to me and my life. As for me, my self-esteem held true, and I still had my dignity. Knowing that won't pay the bills did not make me any happier, but I knew in the long run I would look back and be happy with myself.

"Please just drop me off, Carson. That will be all." I sat back in the seat and waited for the park to appear out of the window while thinking to myself, this will be the last time someone drives me around. With that thought I started to laugh lightly to myself.

"What's so funny Miss Lexi?" Carson asked out of curiosity as he pulled into the mostly empty parking lot of the park. Most of who was there had walked or rode their bikes.

I leaned forward as he put the car in park. "I was just thinking this is the last time I will be driven around when I mentally corrected myself. The local bus driver will be taken over for you Carson."

He smiled at me through his rearview mirror before turning around to say something that I knew everything would be alright. "I use to take the bus everywhere before my brother in-law got me this job as a chauffeur. It's not so bad really. It's cheap, air conditioned and best of all, you can read a book or just watch people outside as you are driven around. Only bad part is when the bus is late, and you have to get somewhere. Really, you are better off." He said the last sentence as if it was the gospel truth, and he should know since he drives everyone for Mr. Nubbins, mistresses and all.

I did not even wait for Carson to open the door for me. I got out with the bag of food in one hand and my purse in the other. I closed the door and walked to the front where I tapped the hood of the car and waved goodbye to Carson. As he waved back, I realized that the entire last month had such a surreal feeling that I wanted to just feel lost for the rest of the day. I took my heels off and shoved them in my large oversized purse. Besides in this neighborhood, someone might want to steal them from me. I let my feet walk through the grass as I found a picnic table in the shade. I thought I might eat my lunch, but I still had no appetite after what happened, so I just sat on the bench, leaned my back against the table and looked out to the small playground equipment where several little kids were playing together.

I noticed the air had a nice gentle rolling breeze to it that cooled the heated air, which it so desperately needed. The last week of above average temperatures did nothing to help me with my heated temper. Now, as I glanced up to the white puffy clouds in the soft blue sky while tree branches full of leaves were swaying around like dancing ballerinas, I felt relief. I did. I truly felt relieved of all ties to Clyde. I was going to be broke soon. I would need to find a job, but as the wind blew my hair around, I knew that I was going to be alright. Besides, I could always sell off my wedding ring for a start, but somehow as the sun glistened against it on my right hand, I knew that would be admitting defeat to a marriage.

I sat for over an hour when I finally noticed a rumpled looking man leaning against a tree looking at me. I smiled his way, and he smiled back. Another fifteen minutes passed, and I finally noticed he had moved to the table next to me. "You gonna eat that lunch?" He asked eagerly.

It was the moment his mouth of only a few good teeth grinned looking at me with desire for not me, but my takeout lunch, that I realized things were not that bad for me yet. "Please. Help yourself. It's Italian."

"I know the place." He smiled as he eagerly took the brown bag off the table and sat back down at the table next to me. "I use to dumpster dive there when I lived downtown in a box behind tenth and Broadway. Right by the mission." He spoke proudly.

I heard the rumpling of the bag as he was digging out the food from next to me, while the children on the playground caught my attention once again. Two little girls playing together had been most of my attention since I had sat down. They reminded me of Kate and myself in a way that warmed my heart. I reached into my purse, pulled out my phone, and texted Kate.

"Things did not go well. I need a job. Clyde has no plans to pay me alimony anymore." My text did not receive a reply for a few minutes.

"We'll talk about it later. Sorry about Clyde." I stared at her message as I thought about how sorry I felt how things went and how they really were. There were signs. Several signs. Every time I watched a woman in my situation get dumped with only a prenup, I would swear to myself that I would not be that woman, but here I was. And worse, I chose not to finish my schooling, or get some kind of worldly experience that could put me back on my own two feet. Instead, I depended on a man, and that was my first big mistake. You would think that after being raised by a single mom who had two girls by different fathers, none which were ever in our lives, that I would not be that woman. I had been, and I look back with more regret than a missed shoe sale at eighty percent off.

The moment my phone dinged with another text from Kate, I was ready to walk home. I stood up off the picnic bench and gestured a smile of goodbye to the rumpled looking man happily eating my lunch. I looked at my phone and read her text while walking in the grass towards the sidewalk towards home.

"Not sorry that you're no longer with Clyde. He is a jackass. Always has been, always will be. You deserve better Lexi. Come home. I have a surprise for you."

The entire four block walk in four inch heels had me feeling like life could be renewed. It wasn't until I hit my driveway, and Hank was standing there with a bunch of rugged looking landscapers that I felt mad at myself for being mean to him earlier this morning. Clyde had clouded my brain and now that I knew there was no going back, there should be nothing from stopping me from going forward, perhaps with a little hanky-panky in my life.

I smiled flirtatiously his way, and he turned his back towards me and kept talking to the men who were helping him with what looked like a bunch of small rock in his driveway. I caught the attention of the men and smiled at them, then began to walk up my front walkway. Kate was at the front glass door, motioning for me to come in quick.

"Did you walk from somewhere? I didn't see Clyde's driver drop you off?" Kate hurriedly asked me as she practically pulled me through the front door.

"I walked from the park. What's up?" I replied with interest in what Kate had to say, and I dismissed Hank's coldness while I practically ran up the steps in my four inch heels. The minute I got into our house, I knew that I had to be there for Kate and whatever it was that was making her so excited to see me.

"Come sit down." She excitedly asked me to sit on my purple couch in the kitchen window. "I have great news. Better than great. Terrific news. Oh my gosh, Lexi. Things could not have worked out better for me."

By the time she finally sat, I had to muster up the strength to pretend I was overly happy for my sister. I was happy for her; it was just that everything she just said would turn my entire life upside down. I felt like an empty shell while she began to tell me about her new job offer. Her boss was a woman who hated Clyde Nubbins, so there was no chance that he could ruin this career move. Her new job would have her traveling some, which she had always wanted to do, but better yet the corporate apartment in which they were lending her until she got back on her feet was in Mike's building.

When I finally got up to lean in and give her a congratulatory hug, I realized that this was it. I had to get my act together, find a job, or I was going to be homeless like the man I just fed my lunch to.

"Listen." I finally offered in a sincere voice. "I am so happy for you. This is the best thing, and you know what I know is that it is all going to work out." I turned my back to my sister as I began to plug my phone into its charger even though it didn't need a charge. "I have got to pee. Let me change and we should go celebrate. My treat!" I cheerily offered knowing that the few dollars I had left in my purse were it until I got money from a job.

I barely escaped to the solace of my bathroom before tears streamed down my face. I had so many emotions running through my body that I could not contain my emotions any longer. I was mad at myself on so many levels, while disappointment about Clyde and our love ran like acid through my veins. I had a sense of relief and renewal that was competing with Kate's happiness that would ultimately affect me and my survival. I would need a roommate to help with rent, but who? I needed a car, but how? I was broke, alone, and the only thing I had going for me was a great closet of clothes with matching shoes that would soon arrive along with more boxes of expensive clothes and jewelry than I should have spent money on. I should have saved. I should have invested, not only in myself but my future without Clyde. I knew this day would come; I just chose to ignore it and shop. Now that I lashed out at my new friend, I think that I might have lost him too. Soon Kate would be off, busy with her new job traveling, focusing on her career and new coworkers, while I what? Sit around sulking while turning thirty.

I let me mind whirl with sadness while I tried to stop the crying and freshen up my makeup. I turned the water on for background noise, just in case Kate decided to come talk to me some more on the other side of my closed bathroom door.

By the time I finally felt pulled together, I opened my bathroom door, and Kate was sitting on my bed, holding my phone up to her ear. She didn't say a word. She dropped my phone on my bed and rushed to me with a great big hug. Kate had heard the recording, and I was weak with need to be held. In that moment, I was most thankful for my sister, and I knew that I would be ok. One way or another, we would make it through this situation together.

The next few weeks spun around me like a carnival tilt a whirl ride. Kate needed help getting settled into her new job and new corporate apartment. Helga had all of my clothes and accessories delivered in packing boxes, which I stored in Kate's now empty bedroom. I had gone to five interviews, all of which said that they would call me but never did. Hank kept his distance without speaking a word to me since that morning of my returning jog. I decided that the sexy landlord neighbor would only add confusion to my already confusing life. Out of hope, I tried my credit card at the machine which declined me and then my phone dinged from Helga with a text message. 'No more alimony per Clyde. I am to advise you that your phone will shut off at the end of this week.'

So that was it. I was without money, other than the two hundred in cash Kate lent me and the month of rent she paid. I was to be without my beloved iPhone and had the cheap one Kate got me to use and never did. I had a sexy neighbor who liked to drink his coffee in the morning with his shirt off while observing his backyard landscaping progress and would never give me a glance for a second. I had an ex-husband who was now traveling in the Caribbean with his new girlfriend, as that information was splashed across the entertainment media, on purpose, I am sure. I have a very supportive mother who had called me every day since Kate convinced me to call her to tell her the news. She offered me the shirt off her back. I declined it, and pretended that I was going to be just fine, and that I was not flat broke, jobless and living a life of regrets.

I decided that everyone needed to stop worrying about me. I would figure this out. I had to. If not, the guy at the park might be willing to share his box on tenth street alley, or better yet, I could build a mansion with the boxes my clothes came in. I had a bad shopping habit, and it was sitting stacked six feet high in Kate's old room.

I walked in to take a look at the boxes when my cell phone rang again. "Mom! Hi. Why aren't you at work?" It was the third time she called me today.

"I told you earlier. I took the day off to get my car fixed. Kate sent me the money, but I'm just putting it in her savings account that I have for her. Which is why I am calling you. I have a savings account for you. I put money in it whenever I could. Do you want me to cash it and send you the money? Lexi dear, are you there?"

I was having a hard time answering as I had tears streaming down my face but laughter in my voice. "I think I'm ok for a while mom. Kate lent me some cash. So how did you pay to have your car fixed if you did not take Kate's money?" I questioned, wondering why all those years I was married to Clyde that I did not save nor did I send money to my mom. I had a feeling I would be asking myself that question over and over until I had thoroughly tortured myself with no answer.

"You two girls are silly. I told you I got that promotion at the plant several years ago. What I did not tell you was the amount of money I got in a raise. I guess it's just in my blood to be frugal, but really I do alright. Why don't you come down and get all these fancy gifts you sent me and sell those? It's been three years since your girls have been down for the holidays. That last visit you came with Clyde, I almost butchered him up into pieces and fed him to the hogs down the road. Wish I had."

Her comment had me laughing until a thought crossed my mind about coming down to see her. "Momma? I'll come down as soon as I can. I need to get a job and find a way to get rid of all these designer clothes I'll never wear."

Just as if the answer was there all along, my momma spoke out a suggestion that buzzed energy through my veins. "Just sell them online, honey. There are plenty of women who want those fancy clothes but can't afford what you paid. Those shoes you wear could sell to all those women who buy them second hand, no problem. Listen, the repair man is motioning to me that he needs my attention. Christmas is six months away. I'll give you five and you better come visit. Tell Kate I'll call her this weekend. And Lexi dear, don't give up. Clyde was just a glitch in the life of what is meant to be for you. You'll find your way. Don't give up, there's a job, a great life, and a man out there for you." The moment she hung up, I felt a revelation coming on.

I texted Kate that momma said to tell her that she would call her this weekend. I got a smiley face back from her.

I let the words of my momma run around in my head. The only kind of work I was ever good at was tending bar and I had only done that for a short time, before that was waitress and before that was babysitting. However, the real question I needed to ask myself was what did I want to do in life? I was good at shopping, great at decorating, and I had learned the art of party throwing on a financial level I don't think I will ever see again.

The big epiphany answer eluded me. My life, in a nutshell, had always been about fun and bling. Kate has always been about studying, career, and let's get serious type. Together, we had all our bases covered; apart, Kate could get a little too boring and wear some really bad clothes and hair styles. Although, in the last two years, she really seemed to hold her own style quite well, where as in the last two years, I had an exhausting marriage that went nowhere, but I was looking good getting there.

I left my extra room full of boxes. Somehow staring at them just made me sad. Selling my expensive clothes and shoes could solve some of my money problems for a while, not to mention Helga was kind enough to sneak in some of my expensive jewelry that Clyde had bought me as gifts over the years. She was being nice, or she had to. Who knows? I definitely did not care anymore if I never heard from Helga or Clyde again. It was over. That life of luxury that I lived was gone. All my glitter was gone. It was not all gold and shiny of a life as I had once thought. It was just who I was, and I regret not saving or preparing for what I knew might come. The day had come. Clyde ousted me out of his life in all way shapes and forms. I was standing in my hallway looking at the walls that desperately needed paint on them, and I heard some male shouting from outside.

I rushed to the front window and did not see anything. So I ran to the kitchen window and saw Hank yelling at some workers on which direction he wanted some big boulders to be placed as they sat in the front of a loading machine. I watched in awe as I found my bottom sitting on my purple couch and leaning towards the window, so I could get a perfect look at his body and what he was doing.

I blew it with my chance to have some fun or something more with Hank. I was more like a passing fancy to him, I think. He probably felt like a white knight offering his rental at a discount to Kate and me. Now that Kate was moved out, he most likely wanted to raise my rent or better, boot me out so I could share that cardboard box on tenth with the homeless man I gave my expensive Italian lunch to.

I leaned back into my couch and let my eyes look upwards at a slight brown stain on the ceiling. Probably, from a moth or someone's reckless cooking before Kate and I moved in. Either way. The place needed some serious paint, and I had no money to do it.

I sat forward to the sound of Hank's voice. "Right there. Drop it right there. Thanks. That's great. Alright. Who wants a beer?"

I let his voice echo in my head as I mentally cried out to him through the window. "I want a beer Hank. I want a beer and a whole lot more."

Yet, my voice never reached his ears. What I did get was the first glance from him in a long time as he looked towards me sitting in the kitchen window. I gave a soft smile back, not even sure if he could see me due to the way the sun was in his eyes. I wanted to run out and tell him I was sorry for my behavior. Instead, I got up, went around my rental locking it up, shutting off the lights and crawling into bed when there was still four hours of sunlight left in the day.
Chapter Eight

The weeks flew by with no response from jobs I applied for online. I never gathered the energy it would take to list anything I owned to sell online. In fact, I was having a hard time even opening the boxes Helga sent over all packed and taped up. Kate's old room looked like a Legoland of boxes. At this point, there was no money for anything so college was out of the question. I was living day to day watching boring daytime TV and crying about my life when something sad showed up on the TV. I ate more bowls of cereal, and saltine crackers with peanut butter and jelly, since I was out of bread, then I had when we were kids on a limited food budget.

Today was different for me. I woke up feeling a bit of spitefulness, perhaps towards my sexy neighbor who wouldn't even glance my way. I found a way to get some chocolate, and that was the pivotal moment that my life had a new sense of adventure calling for me. Today was all about the chocolate.

I unwrapped the purple foil to the heavenly small chocolate candy. I put it in my mouth and let the chocolate begin to melt in my warm mouth until I could resist no more. I bit down into the last of the solid piece of chocolate in my mouth, melting the rest of it, as I pressed into the molten chocolate mess in my mouth with my tongue mashing it around like I was swirling fine wine in my mouth. I grabbed my coffee from the corner store and washed it down. As soon as the taste left my mouth, I began to reach for another chocolate piece. In that moment, Kate walked in looking worse than I had ever seen her in a while, wearing a faded black yoga outfit that was not even good enough to donate.

"Good morning!" I chimed out in song, obviously because the chocolate mixed with my white mocha cappuccino corner store coffee I purchased earlier was making me happy.

"You sound happy?" She questioned me as if I was up to something, because in general, my life has not been exceptionally happy lately.

"Chocolate will do that for you." I chimed.

"So will sex but I commend you for keeping your va-ja-ja to yourself these days." She smirked as if to say, but I'm not. Thus, the messed up hair with tired eyes. Something I now knew was that, my sister, has been getting a little more than she is used to.

"Did you just crawl out of bed and decided to grace your unruly presence in my home, why?" I questioned, not that I minded. I was up for seeing my sister, although right now, all I wanted to do was whisk her away to a salon, get her a cut and color with a blowout, and maybe a fresh applique of some skin color called makeup.

"It has been a late few nights. Mike will go out of town tomorrow, and I planned on spending the entire Sunday catching up on sleep. Besides." She rubbed her lower back for a second as if she was in pain. "His bed is way too hard for me."

"Maybe it's time you get a new mattress together and just move in." I chimed knowing that the last two weeks had been a whirlwind romance for her, while the only words of romance that Hank and I had exchanged were, 'Where's the rent?' and 'You're coming in awfully late.' He spoke both questions from a distance in his backyard while everything was dark, and I could not see his face. It was if he could not look at me or have a direct conversation. I tried to start apologizing once, but I heard his backdoor close as he mumbled out he had to go.

Kate took a sip of my coffee and handed it back to me. "It's too soon to move in together. Way too soon. Mike's great. Good potential. Right now, I just want to enjoy this for a bit before thinking seriously."

I knew that, deep down, Kate had been scared once before, and now that she met another man whom she really liked, she was going to be the most hesitant person to want to suggest that they take it to the next level. I decided to joke with her. "Then don't stay the night and tell him he snores."

She frowned at me. "He doesn't snore and I like the way he snuggles with me. I just have to stretch it out some mornings."

"From the bed or crazy sex?" I joked some more.

"You are in a happy mood for an unemployed late paying renter who has not called her mom or sister all week. What gives? And what on earth is that sound that I keep hearing?" The last sentence came out in a loud yell as the noise from next door just took back up and was sounding as if it was in my kitchen.

I pointed towards our neighbor's house and nonchalantly answered her in a tone that spoke very matter a fact. "Hank decided that Saturday morning jack hammer work on his back porch is a great idea. I finally got a few sparse words from him late last night as I came back from a late evening run. Where's the rent and something about coming in late. I started watching him and his brew crew this morning when I went out to water the flowers I planted. He still won't look at me with a straight face since the day I yelled at him right before going to see Clyde." I tried to sound matter of fact to Kate, but deep down, I was crushed. Jumping from a lousy ex-husband to a sexy neighbor who is your landlord is not the smartest of ideas, but I did not want to ruin what little friendship we had started, yet I seemed to have done just that.

"I don't think it's all about you Lexi. Besides, you have not been very nice to him since day one and he has got a lot on his mind, like you paying rent and him wondering if he has to kick you out." Kate put all of this drama into a matter of fact category in her brain. She was not emotionally attached to the situation like I was. I knew I needed to pay him next month's rent, but somehow my life was in a stalled motion, and I had no ambition to do anything.

The noise stopped, and Kate reached for my coffee on the table. I snagged it just before her greedy fingers could wrap around the foam coffee cup. "Hey, this is mine!" I shouted with emphasis, just so she might not consider taking it out of my hands. Kate had always been older - thank goodness. Always been stronger - not so fun for me, and unfortunately, she was given all the smart brain cells, but I had my looks - for now.

With a stern look and a seriously low voice, Kate glared at me and spoke like she could kill me. "Then let me ask you this, Princess!" She only used that last word when she was really pissed at me. What came next told me that we were either in for one of our long drawn out cat fights, or I was about to be evicted on my ass, since I could not pay next month's rent until I got a job or got off my butt and decided to sell all the wonderful evening gowns and designer clothes I missed wearing. Lately, neither of those two things seemed to be working out for me.

"Lexi!" She shouted over the jack hammering that started up again.

"What?" I meekly squeaked out.

"Where did you get the money to buy the coffee and chocolates?" She growled low and slow knowing that the last time I talked to her, I told her that I was completely flat broke and wanted to know if I could borrow some more cash until I got a job. A job, for which I had not really been looking for. Rent was due, and my depression over being a lonely ex-wife had finally kicked in after my last job rejection. Deep down, the rejection from Hank did not help my situation any, but then again I guess I could try to make a better attempt at telling him I was sorry. When I finally spoke up, I felt like a two year old who stole a cookie from the cookie jar.

"The chocolates came from the neighbor kid across the way. He asked if he could borrow our hose for his mom to water her garden; apparently, he ran over hers with the lawn mower. I said sure kiddo, I borrow Hanks all the time and he has two, so how about some of those chocolates I saw you buy from the corner store yesterday, and I won't tell who took the hose." I giggled at the mere memory of the small ten-year-old boy and me discussing him not returning Hank's front yard hose.

"I see." She said the two words with an intention of continuing her badgering about where I got the money as she crossed her arms in her black yoga jacket and pants that looked like she washed them with a ton of rocks and their color was never coming back nor was the spandex part of them doing their job. That outfit was not even fit for donation. I had to steal it away and trash it when she was not looking.

Kate leaned back against the kitchen counter and smiled with a glare in her eyes that told me that she was not smiling because she was happy.

"Well...." I paused before jumping out of my seat and trying to bolt past my sister to get to my room where I might have a chance of barricading myself with my shoe collection that I had spent all last night trying on with their matching evening gowns. Last night, I pretended that I was the belle of the ball still. The sad state of affairs was the fact that I was the only one in this house, trying on over twenty dresses and their shoes, parading around like Entertainment Tonight was broadcasting about me while my Pandora ap played dance songs all night long. It had been my thirtieth birthday. I was alone and Kate had forgotten to call. Momma sent a cookie bouquet which I ate every single cookie. I was the one who should be standing here with bags under her eyes in what is the utterly wrong attire, since I had been up all night. Instead, last night had been the best night of my life in the last month. That was the sad state of affairs I was in. The morning chocolate and sneaky play against Hank had me feeling more alive after that.

The moment I tried to fly by my sister, her strong hand reached out, grabbed my right arm and squeezed it just as her other hand grabbed the corner store coffee out of my hand. She held tight to my arm and took a huge sip of my coffee before setting it off to her side of the kitchen counter far out of my reach. "Let me take a guess or two here. You have enough cash for expendable spending but not rent or groceries which I'm guessing the full cupboards I left you with are bare. Hank is pissed because you haven't tried to apologize and then avoid paying rent that is now due again. I paid for the last month month's rent. I left you with a little bit of cash and I don't think applying for five jobs you are not qualified for counts as looking for a job. I don't care if you work at the corner store by the house that is accepting applications. You need a job and Hank deserves a real apology for the way you treated him. He's our landlord Lexi, not your stomping ground for ill will feelings towards men right now. Besides..."

She stopped herself and let go of my arm while I rubbed where she just gripped. Red marks appeared where her hand just left my arm. I knew my sister would not hurt me but she did need to slap me until I woke from this dreary life I was choosing to live. She rarely showed her physical power over me except when she is starting to lose her patience with me. The next thing she said to me caused me huge alarm. "You look like you could use a serious day at the salon. Those split ends. Those dark roots and when was the last time you got Botox?" Now she was messing with me. I didn't look that bad. My roots were due for a touchup but I was born a blonde and I just needed to buy a box of color for the roots. As far as Botox, I had not gotten any injection, yet. But I knew she was trying to find the weakness in me to get me revved up. Telling me I looked bad would be one way to start.

I decided to play her comment off with a distraction. I went to the fridge, poured myself a glass of milk, walked over and sat down at the kitchen table to finish off the rest of the chocolate foil wrapped goodness. The first words out of my mouth came with laughter. "Oh, uh about the hose. Mikey, that's our little neighbor's name; he knew exactly who the hose belonged to. I was trying to return it to Hank's front yard just as Mikey came over to ask to borrow it. He was heading up to the door to ask, but I stopped him from ringing the doorbell. I told him he could keep the hose because Hank just bought himself another one." As if telling the story about the hose should relieve me of any guilt for what I just did. Then I smiled at the memory of watching Hank unload the back of his old pickup with stuff from the hardware store. I saw the new hose he was holding and the way it caused his bicep to flex as he lifted it. If he was not such a jerk lately, I might want to run my soft hands over his naked biceps after doing all that jack hammering they were doing back there.

"Earth to Lexi?" Kate's voice brought me back around as she drank the last of my store bought coffee, tossed the cup in the trash, and sat down as she removed another wrapper on a chocolate. I watched her pop it in her mouth and decided to keep my mouth shut about her eating my chocolate. "You have that dazed fantasy look in your eyes. Daydreaming about our neighbor again?" She teased.

"I am not." I stammered, but truthfully, I was. This had to stop.

"Listen." Kate spoke out as I watched her mouth practically indulged on the last bit of chocolate in her mouth as her hand reached for another one. She was doing me a favor. Ever since the divorce was final, I had quite working out or eating right, and I was sure that the few pounds I packed on would not find me another rich husband. She reached over, took my glass of milk and drank it all down and held the glass up to me. "Refill this for me would ya?" She smiled coyly and replied to my internal snarky remark that I was about to burst out with. "Consider it payment for me paying Hank some money toward your now overdue rent, but you have got to get a job Lexi, and you have got to pay him the rest. Seriously, or I will pack you up myself and send you to live with mom where she said she could hire you at the plant back home. What's it going to be? Sulky Lexi who is just dancing around in her evening gowns and heels all night or the old tough I can do whatever I want Lexi, who used to get whatever it was that she wanted with her pretty face and flirtatious attraction ways?"

"How did you know about that?" I burst out in surprise wondering how she knew about last night's personal debutante ball for one. As far as the comment about me using my pretty face and attracting men, that had not happened all week. I made damn sure I looked like shit when I walked to the corner store, and it was usually too early in the morning or late at night for anyone to see me. I had gone deep into dumpee depression and here stood my sister to yank me out of it. Or so I could hope.

"Hank called me and told me he thought you finally lost it. When the loud music didn't stop at two a.m. he looked through the windows and saw you." She looked at me as if to ask the question, did you lose it Lexi?

I did not reply. At this point, I did not care. Last night, I might have temporarily acted crazy. Trying on one soon to be sold gorgeous expensive dress after another. Adorning myself with jewels, matching clutches, four inch heels and dancing by myself like I was delirious. I needed a wake up moment after feeling despair all month. Last night felt like it was it.

Instead of being sensible for the fact that my sister loved me, just paid part of my rent, and was here to see what was going on with me, I got up with a glare in my eyes and a nasty disposition to my movements. I poured the milk into the glass cup with hastiness that some spilled out over the side onto the floor. I took my socked foot, wiped it up, and then practically slammed the full glass of milk on the side table in front of her. By the time I sat back down on my purple couch, Kate had a look on her face that told me I was about to get a lecture. She leaned back into the leather reading chair she left here, crossed her arms, crossed her legs and puffed out a huge breath of air.

"Listen up." She unfolded her arms, leaned forward, looked at me with a worried look and then spoke softly and slowly. "Clyde is not going to be giving you any more alimony. You should never have married the jerk in the first place. You should have finished college." She made a pft sound and then continued on. "Even if it was liberal arts. It might have as well made it liberal art of shopping, and you should have found a man that loved you and you loved him."

"But I did love Clyde!" I burst out in defense, knowing that statement held some truth. When I first met him, I fell in love with him. He was so sophisticated, rich, polite, complicated, financially sound and above all great in bed. That all ended about two years ago, about the time his affairs started. That was when I became an evil woman whom nobody wanted to be around. I never once took into account that I did sign a prenup against my sister and mothers better judgment. I was young, naive and in love. He was old enough to be my father, and I was blind enough to think that our love would last forever. My longing memory of what was once a fairytale life got interrupted with Kate's stern voice.

"Listen. I do not mean to be harsh, but it is time you had some tough love. Life is tough, sweetie. Suck it up and make the most of what you have got. Which, by the way, you have a lot. You have expensive clothes, accessories, jewelry you can sell. Mom told me she suggested it and for one day that was all you could talk about. What happened? Why not sell all of it and find a job? It's not like you'll be wearing any of it ever again any ways. Jesus, Lexi, that wedding dress of yours could bring you a year's rent. What did Clyde end up paying for that dress any ways?" She asked with a serious look on her face while I chose to ignore her by not giving her the truthful answer. I honestly thought that life would unfold like a magical carpet in front of me, and all my troubles and worries would just dissolve with fairy dust. It had been a long lonely month of depression and denial.

"Silence becomes you but it is not the way to deal with this. Christ, Lexi! When are you going to grow up?" She was mad, and she was not holding back. She wanted her little sister to step up and be a woman. I wanted that too, but I just wanted to be left alone a little while longer. Finding solace in movies on cable TV and reading as many free download books that I could, was a bit of escape for me, however, avoiding Kate and my mom all month from the truth of what was going on inside my head had been hard.

I sat in that kitchen sitting area, listening to the sounds of a jackhammer from our neighbor, looking out the kitchen window asking myself internally the very same question as I felt my despair grow into a winding staircase into a very black hole. My life was not getting any better. Dancing around in my old evening gowns was not helping. Clyde was definitely not coming back to woo me to remarry and that damn jack hammering was giving me a splitting headache. I got up from my chair and ran into my bedroom, slammed my bedroom door and dropped against my bed crying. I was waiting for Kate to come in and rub my back, telling me that everything would be alright, instead I heard the front door slam and that damn jack hammering.

I quickly texted Kate. "You forgot it was my birthday yesterday." Sad face emoticon.

Her text came to me swiftly, which meant she most likely had not even pulled out of the driveway. "Shit. I'm sorry. I've been so busy. I will make it up to you somehow. Love Kate"

I thought she might come back in the house and make a big deal about it, but she did not. Instead, I laid listening to the jack hammering as my heart felt as if it was in my throat.

I could not stay here a minute longer. I got dressed in a cute summer outfit of white cropped pants, turquoise silk blouse that was sleeveless and low cut, silver bangle bracelets with turquoise on one wrist, a silver three caret diamond tennis bracelet on the other wrist. With a passing squirt of my Chanel No. 5, I felt alive. I grabbed my most expensive light brown leather purse with hand tooled edging, a pair of killer expensive Jimmy Choo heels in that same soft buttery light brown, my diamond earrings that Clyde gave me for our first anniversary and the tennis bracelet he gave me for Christmas last year. I grabbed my cell phone off the charger, knowing that my service could be shut off at any moment by Clyde as a signal that he still had some control over me. I texted my trusty old friend Monique asking her to meet me for lunch at Trends. I would have to fake leaving my wallet at home and owe her, but Monique would never make a scene in public.

Monique texted back a bit quickly to say she'd be there, and I trusted she would. Why wouldn't she? She would want to hear all about the current affairs that transpired between Clyde and myself, and I was going to spill every juicy bit.

Two hours later, I had been sitting at Trends for a half-hour with just a water glass on my table, and a very disturbed waiter whom I had taken up his table. I tried to explain leaving my wallet at home and my friend would be there any minute, but Monique was not coming. She was the last of my rich friends to shun me. I had to face it; my old life was over. I reached into my purse and dialed Kate's phone. There was no answer. I left her an emergency text with where I was at, and that I needed her and some cash to come quick. Something in my gut churned. What if Kate did not come? What if she had finally had enough of my shenanigans? I just turned thirty and nothing about my life seemed grown up or accomplished. I had to find a way to turn all of this around.

I looked up and down the street from my spot at the window table and acted as if my friend would walk through the door at any moment. As I pretended more for my own amusement than the waiters, I mentally willed this day to get better. I had to get a job, a life, a meaning to my existence. Just as I was internally verbalizing a plan, a man cleared his throat. There at my table was Hank, in his grubby jeans, sweaty grey tee shirt and that gorgeous unruly brown hair I kept dreaming about running my fingers through. His light blue eyes sparkled with mischief as they blinked at me with despair. All he could say as he wiped the sweat from his brow as he reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty to toss onto the table. "Let's go Lexi. You need to come back home and go get my front yard hose for me."

I walked out behind him in shame. I was sure there were tables of rich people smirking at me as the waiter let out a loud 'finally' as I walked by. My life felt as if it could not get any lower. Then I realized; he came to rescue me up in his old beat up Chevy truck, parked out front where all the patrons could see me. I had taken the bus here with the last of the change from Kate's borrowed coffee money and now my plan of Monique driving me back to my rental, telling me she'll spot me a few hundred until I get this worked out, was fizzled away as he started up his truck and reached over and rolled down the window.

"You getting in or are you going to stand there all day all dressed up to play rich girl?" He seemed irritated to see me. The sparks I use to see in him when he looked at me were gone. It was as if the one man I thought might still be interested in me was now only attentive in getting back to whatever it was he was doing and not out here saving my butt. Instead of being grateful, I felt hurt. I turned that hurt into disdain.

I glared at him as I bent over and leaned in through the passenger window. "You wouldn't know what to do with a rich girl if you tried." I was taunting him again. I felt this intense desire to tease and excite him into what? Submission? Under my control? Something deep inside of me told me that he would not allow for either. I watched him get out of the driver side of his truck and then come around towards me with a serious look in his eyes. I took a quick step back as I stood up straight and tall, and then watched him open the passenger side door of his old beat up truck for me.

"I suppose you expect me to open doors for you?" He opened the door, and stood aside.

I practically flipped my head of long hair and tossed my hip out as I clutched my purse with a tight firm grip. This man, this unruly but sexy looking man, had a way of getting under my skin. Then I watched him lean into me with a step as he lowered his head to whisper into my ear. "Honey, I not only know what to do with rich girls, I usually have them coming back begging me for more. So either get in my truck, so I can get back home and finish tearing up my back patio before the concrete truck arrives for me to set up the new one, or..." He took a step back, let his eyes travel up and down my body like an examination and then a smile curved at his lips as his eyes sparkled. What he said next could cause me a whole lot of sexual denial trouble for the next few days.

"Oh yeah. I could definitely have you crying for more." The spark was back, but I was not feeding into it.

I turned on my four inch heels, flipping my hair, and began to walk in the opposite direction of the three miles I needed to be heading to get home. I was not about to get in that man's truck if he thought that he could, well you know, and that I would easily, well beg, and then I heard his loud piped exhaust of a truck drive past me as I realized that I had a long walk home.

Two blocks later, in what I would consider a less than trendy business district from Trends, I found a bench with a bail bonds advertisement on it. I laughed to myself as I thought how I might need that when I kill my neighbor. I watched a homeless looking bum from across the street tip back a brown paper bag with what I was sure was a low premium grade of alcohol. What I would do for swig from that bag? I joked internally.

The sound of a car backfiring from my left caught my attention, and I looked that way. I saw several businesses that I passed on my way to this bench that perhaps might be an answer to my predicament. The sparkle from the sun shining on my silver diamond tennis bracelet caught my eye earlier while watching the homeless man drink. I had no need for the bling I acquired in my life with Clyde. That is until I found me another husband with money. That thought sent a shiver down my spine as I realized that walking down the path of a loveless marriage would only hurt too much. I could very easily get a job if I tried. I could just go back to school and work on a career. If love and kids fell into my future with the right man, well, then so be it. Otherwise, I was basically on my own now. Kate was tired of carrying my baggage. The last thing I needed was another rich man to answer my prayers. What I needed right now was to put these heels back on, and walk on over to the Smitty Bright's Pawn Shop. Smitty needed to cut me a deal on these earrings and bracelet. If I did alright, I had plenty more than cab fare for the ride home.

Just as I tried to cross the street, the sparkle from my diamond wedding ring caught my eye on my right hand. The moment my heels hit the opposite sidewalk; I inconspicuously slid the ring off my right hand and put it into a zipper part of my brown hand tooled leather purse. I squared my shoulders and fluffed my hair. I put on a sensual I mean business smile and then reach for the metal rail handle to the door to open it.

The door weighed a ton and so did my heart. If this is what I had to do, then I had to do it. My old life was gone. Long gone. My new life sparkled for a short bit, but Kate had to get on with her life, and I needed this swift kick in the ass to realize; I only had myself to blame. It was now or never. I had to take the first step in rectifying the mess I had created.
Chapter Nine

I looked across the glass display case at a man whose tattooed biceps made a navy ships guns seem less lethal. I cleared my throat, batted my eyelashes in a sensual glance, and fingered my long blonde hair as I spoke out like a sex kitten. "Is that really the best you can give me Mr. Bright?"

"I could give you more, but we'd have to turn that sign to be closed, lock the door, and entertain the back room couch for an hour." He smiled back with a big gold tooth in the front of his mouth.

That was not happening, and I had to realize that not everybody found my flirtatious charms a way to give me more money for less work. I took a deep breath and let it out. I did have a little bit of negotiating skills that I picked up after seven years of marriage with Clyde. "As much as I find you interesting, I am not in a situation where I am able to entertain that idea. However, I do have these heels that have only been worn once, and that is only a few blocks today and standing at the bus station. I have this top grain leather purse that I paid twelve hundred for and..." I dug around in the purse, pulled out my empty useless wallet and pulled out my five caret diamond wedding ring that I had been carrying around. "I have this!" I pulled out excitedly.

He pulled the ring out of my slender fingers with his thick rough edged fingers that looked like they had just worked on a greasy engine. He pulled out an eye piece that jewelers wear, and then he handed it back to me. He walked out from behind the counter, motioned to his big security guard to the door. I watched the black man turn the lock and then the sign to closed. It was in that precise moment that I thought my life might end in Smitty Bright's Pawn Shop.

When he finally spoke after asking me to sit in a chair at a desk from across him in his office, I had a feeling I was about to catch my first break. "So there must be a story here. I am not giving you money for all of this if you can't tell me a good enough story to think that you didn't just rob some rich man." He laughed.

I laughed back with a bit of relief and irony. "Well I kind of did. He's my ex, and I broke our prenup rules. Therefore, I will no longer be getting alimony, which sucks since I do not have a penny, literally, to my name. I just pissed off my neighbor and ride home, and if I go back to my sister's rental without next month's rent, I think my own flesh and blood is about to kick me out. I don't have a job, a car, or a life, but if we can swing a deal, I might be able to get one."

The room grew quiet. I could hear my heart beat in my ears. Smitty Bright was not a dumb man nor was he a weak one. However, two minutes ago, I was almost certain he was not going to kill me, chop up my body, and dump my bits and pieces in a black trash container out back, just to keep all my processions. I suddenly, just now, made myself realize that I did have some financial capital to work with, as long as I was willing to sell them. Not that momma and Kate made mention all along. It just took a strangers interest, or shall I think of him as a business man, mixed with my desperation, that told me that I had a way out of the mess I was in.

He leaned back in his chair crossed his arms and smiled with concern. "You would be stupid to sell that ring to me. I'd only give you a fifth of what it is worth. As far as your phone, you need that to get a job. I tell you what... Miss?" He paused as he looked at me across his desk waiting for me to tell him my name. His right eyebrow was sky high and his left eye had a squint of interest, as if to ask me, who the hell are you, so all of this makes sense.

"Nubbins. Well actually, that was my married name. I am going back to my maiden name. Cardinal. You can call me Lexi though."

"Well, Lexi. I am going to give you the name and address of a real jeweler that will pay you a better price for that ring. I don't want your shoes because you will need those to walk back to the bus stop that will take you home. However, what I will do is offer you some advice. I was once in a place similar to where you are now, right after I got out of jail."

I gulped hard. A known felon. I sure know how to pick him.

"Pull out your phone, put this number in it to call later." He rattled off two phone numbers. "Ask for Kipsie. She runs the bar three blocks over in the business district. She needs a lunch bartender for now. You'll make decent spendage as all the Wall Street types hang out over there. She'll connect you to a night job with better pay once you prove yourself. Listen kiddo. That is some serious cash that I could have paid you, and you would have walked out of here and most likely got mugged. I'll buy those earrings and bracelet for now. I'll give you some cash and the rest in prepaid credit card so you are not walking around with cash in that expensive purse. Think about Ebaying off your old expensive life, you will make a heck of a lot more money than I will pay you, and join the rest of the working world. I've got a cousin named Al, who owns a used car place. He's got a sweet cherry red number that you would look great in. He's on third, just across from the Savemart over there, you know where I am talking about."

I had no idea. I had not been in a Savemart type of store since Clyde came into my life. I knew Neiman Marcus, Saks and the like. I shook my head yes and smiled as I googled Al's used cars on third by Savemart. I got a hit and clicked the website link. I held my phone out to Smitty and asked. "Is this your cousin's place?"

"That's the one. Listen. I don't mind buying your stuff, but I think the premium quality you might have will get you a bigger dime at this guys' place." He handed me over a business card in black and gold. I recognized the place. It is in the bottom floor of Clyde's office next to the boutique I liked to shop at while waiting on Clyde for lunch some days. I was not sure if I could set foot in there but something deep inside me told me I did not have a choice.

By the time I left there, I was several hundred richer, and I was not about to set foot on a public bus. I tried calling Kate again but no answer. She was pretty pissed still. I decided to head up to Main Street to catch a cab there where I would look like I fit in. My mind was racing with what to do next, seeming somewhat hopeful that things would now turn around, when a familiar sounding truck pulled up next to me. With his passenger window down and a voice that told me he was pissed he growled out. "Get in! I have been driving all over the area looking for you. Where they hell have you been any ways?""

I decided to get in but not without a snarky comment. "Around. What's it to you any ways? It's not like you care." The tone in my voice held tears, and I was not about to go crying to Hank.

"I don't." He shouted out and then cleared his voice. "I mean I do."

My heart skipped a beat with joy that he was admitting he did care about me, then he had to add the next part making it sound like I was the lost little kid who needs help. "Because your sister does, and as weird as this is to you, we have become great friends. She's dating my best friend, and I would like to think in this great big world your heart might be a little nicer to me." He paused and then started back up. "For your sister's sake. Listen. I told her I would find you. She got called in for her new job, and you are the last thing she needs to deal with."

He peeled out of the parking spot he had pulled into to get my attention. He had an edge to his voice and demeanor that told me that I was wasting his concrete pouring, back porch building, time. Therefore, I decided to shut up and take the free ride back home in silence, besides, I had a lot of thinking going on in my head, and just sitting next to the man in his old truck had me thinking sexual thoughts, not get my life in order thoughts. Silence was best at a time like this and so was sitting on my hands to keep them from wandering to the man next to me.

Three blocks from home was the corner store that I visited for my coffee earlier this morning. It was already two o'clock, and I had not eaten a thing other than the half of the coffee and a large handful of chocolates. I felt the truck turn into the parking lot before I could ask if he minded if I got something to eat. That is when he turned down his country music and looked at me with a softness in his face. "You want anything? I need to grab the guys more beer if we are going to pour this concrete in the next hour. I ordered a few pizzas, and they should be there soon."

He spoke to me just as casual as if I was one of the guys. "Thanks. I need to grab a few things. Mind if I come in with you?"

That was when his reply got my blood boiling. "It's a free country. You can do whatever you want as long as you can pay me my rent next month."

Of all the things to say to me at this particularly critical time in my life of rethinking about the mistakes I had made, this was low. I grabbed my purse with the few hundred in it. I slipped my four inch heels back on and walked into that corner store like I meant business. I grabbed a few things like milk, creamer and coffee. What I did not do was get back in his truck, nor did I acknowledge him as I began to walk home. The four inch heels were killing me on the concrete sidewalk. However, I was determined not to get into his truck, until he reminded me that in this ninety degree heat, the milk would go bad. I stopped and turned to him in my heels as his truck came to a stop.

"Besides." He smiled a wickedly sexy smile at me as I looked at him while I climbed into his truck. "Sometimes making up after the 'I'm sorry' is half the fun. So let me say I am sorry for my comment back there, now you try saying it for your comments since you moved in."

My mouth opened wide in insult. If he had not said that to me or reminded me of the fact that I had been acting like a bitch since I moved in, I might have... not that, well yes that. I might have thought about the making up part, but somehow, once again, he had got my blood boiling and my temper working. I gave him a glare of intensity as my mouth pinched tight, and then I decided to rebuttal.

"As if I would." Well, to be honest with myself, I probably would if he initiated it, but I was trying very hard not to like him or any man at this juncture in my life.

I was going to avoid men until I got myself together. That was my mental plan until his hand reached out and touched my leg as he leaned towards me with a funny smile. "Anytime you want to play make up for a fight you just let me know. I am very good at making a woman forget why she is so mad at me."

I smiled internally as my heart beat faster from his touch and my palms got sweaty while my stomach danced around all crazy. My reaction was unplanned. I pushed his hand away like it was fire and anchored my body closest to the door as possible as I heard a light laughter echo in the truck and his simple reply.

"Suit yourself. But the offer still stands. Don't make this complicated Lexi, and I'll make sure to make it good." That last word of his, came out like a country song and hung in my mind like an echo off a canyon. I was sure that he could make it good. Make me forget everything, at least for a short while. His kiss would make me forget the fact that my life spiraled out of control. His strong hands in places that warmed me would make me forget about Clyde and my new broke life. In fact, anything he did, sexually that is, would make me feel as if I lived an entirely different life. The thought held appeal, but I knew that I would just be left heartbroken in the end. I needed to move on to the next phase of my life without his torturous sexy body and twangy southern voice that popped out once in a while as his sinkable baby blues lured me in like a beacon in the night.

The second his truck pulled into his driveway, I could not jump out fast enough to get inside. More for my sanity than anything. The last words I heard from him that day as I was slamming the door behind me were not going to happen today. "Now, you don't forget to go get me my hose back from the neighbor kid you gave it to, you hear."

His country bred twang was starting to show through more and more, and if I was not so frustrated with him and men in general, I would find it sexy. Ok, yes, I did find it sexy; I just wasn't falling for it right this minute. I had some long overdue work to get done like finding a job and selling off all the material things from my life with Clyde was my top priority.

By the time Kate called me from her cell phone while she was at Mike's place, I had taken pictures of ten of my pieces of jewelry and had them listed on eBay. We talked briefly. Kate apologized for missing my birthday and made mention of several ideas to make it up to me. I told her covering part of my rent, which I planned on paying back, was the best birthday gift ever. I apologized profusely for my behavior, which was not hard to do to Kate, but when it came to Hank, he would have to wait. As I hung up the cell phone, after talking to Kate, I felt thankful once again that she was looking out for her little sister.

I had sent a text to Clyde asking if he had any objection to me selling off all my jewelry, including my wedding ring to his old jeweler in his building, since he was not paying me alimony, and we obviously were officially divorced and he had no prenup to hang over my head. I did not get a reply back on my iPhone, but fifteen minutes later; my phone was finally deactivated. When Helga had texted it would be shut off in a week, Clyde must have changed his mind knowing this was the only way to track me. Having me suggest that I sell my ring must have been enough to enrage him, although he left me no choice. Did he still think there was a connection between us? It was in that internal question to myself that I knew; he still enjoyed the game of controlling me through my cell phone.

The moment the cell phone no longer worked, I guess that was his answer, and I will have to use my prepaid that Kate bought me as soon as I got online to buy more minutes. However, before it was deactivated, I was lucky enough to get a call into the bar asking for Kipsie, explaining to them that Smitty referred me. The second I mentioned his name, I was told to show up in a white blouse and black pants on Monday at nine am.

I just listed some of the expensive high heels and jewelry that Clyde gave me but I did not like, to sell, when Kate showed up in my doorway. I decided to start with those items first to start off my selling kick with a bit of revenge towards Clyde. She had a piece of pizza in one hand and a cold beer in the other.

"They have some pizza and beer left over next door. Concrete's all done. It looks good. Mikey's mom made him bring the hose back and told me to tell you that tricking a young boy is a bad influence. You are a bad influence." She laughed at her own pun at my expense. I had to agree that I had a naughty streak from time to time.

"Well I don't see me ever getting mother of the year award. Maybe shopper, but not mother." We both laughed together for the first time in the last few tense weeks. Kate came over and sat down on my bed. She kicked off her heels and smiled.

"Did you get my text before Clyde canceled my phone?" I offered up between bites of her pizza slice that I took out of her hand.

"I did. It's a start Lexi. I'm proud of you for using ingenuity to raise some cash." She sounded sincere, but I could tell she was still worried about me.

"I might have a job on Monday. I have to show up at nine in the morning at that restaurant bar that I met you at once; it's a building over from Clyde's. Not looking forward to seeing some of his types in there, but it's a start. Selling all of this stuff I accumulated with Clyde will be hard. I love my dress up clothes, but I should have saved along the way. Oh well. Hey, I've got something for you."

I reached over, gave her a hug, and then took the few hundreds out of my wallet and handed them to her.

"What's this?" She asked with a serious concern on her face.

"Well it's not hooker money if that is what you're thinking." I joked.

"I thought Monique dissed you at lunch today." She stuck the money into her wallet and then back into her purse as she looked at me with concern. "Listen. I want to explain about today. I wasn't leaving you stranded."

"I know. Hank explained. And yes, Monique ditched me. Without my old cell phone, I have no way to contact her. Whatever. She was probably going to try to give me some lame reason for not showing." I shrugged my shoulders with disappointment.

"Forget about her. So, any ways, I got a call from my boss regarding a trip that I leave for tomorrow and that is why I sent our Hank after you. I got a quick story about what a bitch you were to him. Listen up, Lexi. He's a nice guy, and he wanted to help. Why do you have to be so mean to him?" She sounded like she had no idea that her information sharing project with Hank or Mike, or however Hank was finding out all this information about me, was only backfiring. Hank might have wanted to help, but his tone of suggestion came across like I was a complete idiot. Which at this point, I have been, but having a man tell me so only infuriated me.

I avoided the Hank behavior question by reiterating my success in what happened to me earlier today. "I sold my tennis bracelet and diamond earrings to a pawn shop today. That is where I got a lead on the job that might start Monday, and I just finished listing a bunch of my other jewelry that Clyde gave me as gifts. I was going to take them to a jewelry shop to sell, but I think I can get more for my stuff online. Hey, with any luck I will back on my independent feet in no time. Which brings me to the car question. If you are out of town next week, can I use your car to get to and from work?" I asked with hope in my voice, and a pretty please look on my face while my hands were in prayer motion in front of my face.

"I'm only gone overnight. I need my car for to and from the airport. Try asking Hank. I think his office is not too far from that bar. Maybe you ought to try a little charm this time. He might actually drive you and pick you up. It seems odd to me that you charm old men with money, but when there is a hot sexy neighbor who definitely looks at you like he does; you just find a way to douse the flames. Just saying sister. He could be a huge help in your new life adventure, not to mention all the fun you two could have living next door. Quite convenient if you ask me." Then she got up from my bed and headed towards the front room.

I stood there thinking about what she just said, and I knew why. Something happened that very first day we moved in here. He looked at me; I looked back at him, and fireworks exploded. He was the last type of man I wanted to entertain, and I was on a self-destructive path lashing out at any man who showed interest. Perhaps in hope that Clyde was going to take me back or that my life would magically go back to the way it was. Instead, I had a new life to create and men were probably not a good treat for me. At least not right now.

The sun had just set, and I heard the last of Hank's friends drive off. It was a Sunday, and they all had jobs to go to tomorrow morning. I had hopes that I would be offered a job tomorrow, and I also felt like I should go apologize for my behavior to one particular man before the night was over.

I walked by Kate, who was on my couch reading a book she left here. "I'm going to go ask our neighbor about getting a ride." I mentioned nonchalant.

"Uh-huh. You gonna think about apologizing while you're over there?" She teased as she looked over her readers at me and gave me a once over with her eyes. "You look a little too sexed up to be going over just to apologize."

"I'll just be a minute. We could go get a late night coffee?" I suggested.

"On a work night? Uh, no thanks. I was waiting out here to offer to drive you to the grocery store since you have money and no car, but I caught a glimpse of him without his shirt on moments ago from this window, and I am telling you, you will want to hang over there for a bit. I'm going to head out." She set her book down where she last left it. She gave me a hard long look before standing up, grabbing her purse and reached for a hug. "Be nice. Besides, I found out that Hank owns the property company he works for and is hardly ever in the office since he can work from home. So... maybe having a sexy chauffeur again might not be so bad. This one you might want to, actually make out with in his car." She broke out in a light laugh as she teased.

The news that he owned the property company instantly made him look even sexier, which was a sick materialistic thing, but it did erase the image of poor hardworking man and put him in a suit and tie with money. But why the beat up old truck, and why live in this neighborhood? Maybe it was a very small owned property management company. I needed to not think about such superficial things right now. I had an apology to make and a neighbor, who is my landlord, to understand that the behavior he has seen in me lately has not been who I am.

Kate walked out ahead of me, and I closed the front door behind me as I walked slowly over to his front door in my three inch summer wedge heels, with a soft sheer light blue tee shirt over my navy bra and navy maxi skirt. So maybe I spent a little bit of time on my hair and makeup, but I always liked to look pulled together.

Each step I took, I had a decision to make. I was not dressed for a casual neighborly apology. My hair looked professionally done, my makeup immaculate, and I adorned my body with silver jewelry that rested against my tanned skin. If I was going to have to make an apology that felt real, I wanted my looks to distract him from any kind of behavior that I have displayed lately.

The moment I arrived on his concrete front porch covered by a small wooden overhang, I had reservations. I was not stupid or ignorant to our attraction. However, I needed to make things right and ask for a favor. I knocked on his door and waited for him to answer. There was no reply. Kate's headlights disappeared down the street and for a moment I contemplated giving up and going back to my place. I gave it one more try. I knocked a bit harder and rang the doorbell while leaning sideways to look in the front window to see if he was even home. When I stood back up straight and looking at his front door, he was standing behind the screen security door with only a towel around his waist and his hand rubbing a towel in his hair. I felt my body electrify with excitement while my mind kept telling me to try to remain calm and not overreact.

His voice spoke out like a southern man's serenade calling, but I knew he was most likely talking normal and the image of his muscular half naked body was what was cooing me. "Lexi. Lexi. Lexi May. What a surprise."

I gulped hard as I was sure he busted me staring at his shoulders, his chest, his abs, and then linger at the towel. It wasn't until I let my eyes slowly wander back up his chest to his face that I knew I had been checking him out. I opened my mouth to speak just as he opened his door for me to come inside. I glanced back down at his towel and thought how dangerous it would be for me to step inside his place.

I finally found my voice as I stepped inside his house trying to look at anything but him naked under the towel. "Hi. I came by to apologize." I said it fast and it wasn't so hard to say, but not looking at him was.

"I see." His voice had a husky sound to it, and I knew if I turned back around to look at him, things might happen so I wandered over towards his back kitchen window to look at the progress that he was making in his backyard.

As I stood looking out into the dark with only a few backyard lights illuminating places throughout the yard, I got the impression that he was quite good at turning something run down into a magical place. I had gotten glimpses of what he was doing from my kitchen window but in the last few days, I had not really focused on what was going on in his backyard. I was about to say something while facing his kitchen window when I noticed his reflection standing behind me. Just as I tried to turn, he leaned in to whisper into my ear, but instead my turning caused my body to collide with his and our eyes to meet. It was in that moment that I knew he did not care about an apology; he just wanted to jump right into the making up part.

His hand swept itself up into my curled blonde hair as his blue eyes stared intensely into mine. Right before his lips dropped to mine, he spoke softly. "I wanted to apologize too." Then his lips tingled against mine as his tongue slid into my mouth. With his hand firmly grasping the side of my face, I felt his other hand slide up my side to my back and pull me in closer. I felt his excitement under the towel, and it mixed with my own internal need to keep doing what we were doing.

As our kiss heated up, I felt the last few weeks of anxiety melt away. In this moment of our kissing, in his kitchen, in him in only a towel, my internal fire for him ignited as my own hands began to wander over the muscular naked parts of his back and shoulder. I was lost in this moment with only the desire to be kissed, that I had forgotten all about my agenda to not want a man and to stand on my own two feet. None of that mattered. All that did matter was the sensation of how this felt so right to be touched, kissed and held by this man whom I felt something for but had denied it all along. Kate was right; we both had it bad for each other. Question was, why had I waited so long to be allowed this type of tender moment, when Clyde had no regrets at all?

I pulled away from the kiss to regain my sense of composure when just the thought of the fact that I was not going to make another mistake. It was quite obvious that both Hank and I were attracted to each other, and now that we have kissed; my focus about my future and making mistakes was foggy. I just wanted to kiss him again.

His forehead rested down on to mine as he spoke out softly while his hands gently caressed me. "Lexi?" He said my name like a question as if he was not sure what I was feeling. I felt the heated stroke of his thumbs over my lower cheek as his hands warmed my jaw line. His breathing was heavy while my own breath was held with anticipation.

I wanted to say his name and kiss him again. That was all I could think about, when my prepaid cell phone dinged. I tried to ignore it, and then it dinged again.

Hank offered the suggestion with a tone in his voice that told me that Clyde was not someone he liked being in my life. "Go ahead and answer him. He'll probably keep texting if he thinks you are here." He took a step back and his entire body language went rigid with anger.

I gave him a silly smile and then took a step towards him to give him a quick kiss on his lips. I held up my prepaid phone and showed him. "I have my own phone now, well actually Kate got this for me a while back, but I don't use the one I had with Clyde. I use this one." I looked at the phone and saw that two of my items on eBay buy it now option sold. I made five hundred dollars plus shipping in just that short time. Not near what Clyde paid for the items, but that was beside the point. "Look!" I showed him my phone excitedly that had one of my sold items displayed on the screen.

"What am I looking at?" He sounded reserved as if I was showing him that I just purchased the item. Here I was unable to pay rent, and I was out shopping, or so he thought. No wonder his reserve went up a bit.

I drew him back in with a sexy look and soft tone while positioning in my body posture that cued him in that I was about to seduce him. "I just sold a small portion of my past life for some serious chump change." I wanted him to know that I was taking the first step back to independence and regaining some kind of life. Selling off all of my old life was a start. Kate was right. I was most likely never going to wear all those lavish gowns and jewelry again. The shoes, on the other hand, were a different story. However, I had equity that I acquired over those seven years. They were just resalable equity that most women would jump at the chance to bid or buy it now.

He took my phone from me and looked at it for a second. When he handed it back with a smile on his face, I noticed he looked like he had a question or two on his lips. I did not want to talk about my life; I wanted to go back to what we were doing that was making me feel alive again. Before he could ask, I wrapped my hands around his face and pulled his head down to mine so I could kiss him once more. This time, I did not let us stop for casual conversation. I let my cellphone sit on the backside of his couch as I slowly pulled him towards it. By the time I had his towel off and him on top of me kissing me, I think he did not want to talk either.

The moment I felt his hands begin to take some of my clothes off to make this fair game; I did not want to stop. I let my moan of desire escape my lips as my blue top slipped over my head. I felt his hands unhook my navy bra, and I raised up so that he could slide the straps off my arms. For a moment, we stopped kissing, and I saw his eyes focus on my breasts as his hands lingered over the pebbled nipples. In an instant, his smile grew and our eyes met. I smiled back at him.

He slid back down off of me to remove my long navy maxi skirt, taking my adorable summer wedged heels that I had no intention of ever selling, and dropped them to the floor. The moment I laid there in only my navy thong underwear; watching this man who made me tremble from his first touch, standing there naked over me, I was too far gone to think about whether this is sensible or not.

His hands reached down and slowly pulled my thong down to join the rest of the pile of my clothes and his towel. He knelt one knee between my legs that he gently opened and began to trail soft kisses along my inner thigh, to the inside of my knee, which tickled a bit. I let a pleasant laughter out and caught his attention as he looked up at me. "It's good to hear you laugh Lexi. You have a sexy laugh."

I stopped giggling and looked up into his eyes. He looked so sincere in his gaze, he felt so tender in his touch, that I knew tonight was just the kind of apology I needed. It did not matter which one of us had been hard headed or wound tight. Right now, we both only seem to care how the other one was enjoying themselves.

My body felt electrified as his hands gently caressed me. My mind whirled like a psychedelic kaleidoscope as his lips touched me in exotic places that turned me into a heated mess. I felt a moment of thought cross my mind of why did I not do this sooner, then his lips caused me to moan out my pleasure that all thoughts were lost to this incredible moment of tenderness.

I felt his lips trail over my stomach as his heated breath told me how beautiful I was. It had been entirely too long since a man told me this in such a pleasurable way. Things with Clyde had gotten robotic, almost as if I was a paid entertainer with him always telling me what to do next sexually. Right now, I have no controlling man's voice telling me what to do, instead he was the one doing all the attentive things that make a woman melt in satisfaction.

For only a moment, I felt the absence of his naked body against mine. I slowly opened my eyes and noticed he was putting on protection. The thought of how convenient that it was so close to the couch, perhaps his room was not the place he loved on his women. I felt a ping of regret to what I was doing. I made choices to stand on my own two feet, be an independent woman and right now; I wondered if this would change things drastically between Hank and I.

I adjusted my body, just as he turned to lay back on top of me. "God you are so beautiful Lexi. So soft and tender." His eyes looked glazed over and in a trance as he repositioned himself to a tender embrace over my body. I hesitated in saying or doing anything until his hands began to caress me back into the melted mess I felt like before. I felt as if I had no control under his touch, his kisses. I wanted this tender feeling so badly that anything my mind wanted to do to ruin it was forced to stay inside my head.

I felt his lips touch mine once again, and I opened myself up to him completely. This was something I so desperately needed. To feel loved. To feel admired and wanted. His kiss made me feel so tingly and compliant that I knew fighting this would be one of my biggest regrets.

Our heated breath could be heard in the empty air of the room as the sounds of our hands touching and caressing competed with our breath. The moment his mouth covered my nipple; I let the excitement of the situation take over my body. It had been so long since I had been loved like this that tears welled up in my eyes and caused me to choke back tears.

Hank felt the change in my emotions and stopped what he was doing. He pulled his head up and looked towards my eyes. I was naked in the emotional sense as my body felt alive. He focused his attention on my emotions as he spoke. "What is it Lexi? What's wrong?"

I couldn't speak, but my tears released themselves and began to trickle down the side of my face. I felt his lips kiss mine briefly, as I felt his thumbs wipe away some tears, while his hands held my face so that he could look into my eyes. I let my eyes focus on his and the warmth he was emitting from them softened my mixed emotions.

"Tell me what's wrong. Lexi? Do you want to stop? Is this too much, too soon? Tell me, please. I just want to make you happy." His voice trembled with concern.

I raised my lips to his for a quick kiss and pulled back to rest my head on the couch with a smile on my face. I took a deep breath and sighed. With my voice at a whisper, I explained as best I could. "It's been so long to feel this way. I just don't want to make a mistake."

"This isn't a mistake." He offered up quickly. "It feels right to me. Lexi, you deserve this. Don't cheat yourself out of what you want. If you want me, then tell me, because I certainly want you."

That was all he had to say. My heart felt lifted from my emotions over what had been happening in my life. With each passionate kiss and tender caress, I let my mind erase all of that. I let myself feel what was happening between us blossom as I offered myself to him. Our slick naked bodies ignited in fire as our passion accelerated.

The start of the moment had been slow and tender, but once we found our moment; I knew that I had never felt so alive with any man, not Clyde, not my first love back in high school. This was real. It was intense, and I was afraid of the emotions that would come attached with this moment. Would he just want this one quick moment, and then it was over? I was about to start a new life by getting back on my feet.

The moment I felt him inside me; I let all of those agonizing thoughts disappear. I was exhilarated by the intensity of this moment. Having him inside of me, while my mind erased all the anxiety that was there before.

The feeling of our slick naked bodies sliding against each other, our heavy breathing and our eyes locked, we felt an intense moment of passion flash through our bodies. His eyes closed, and his body shuttered as my own body had done so passionately with him inside me only seconds ago. I felt the tingle over my skin of a vibrant sensation as he slowly collapsed against my body, holding some of his strong weight off of me with his arms as his lips laid against my neck. I felt his heated breath, and then his voice spoke with a heavy sexual tone to it. "I dreamt it would be good. I now know that it is better. Stay the night with me Lexi? I want to hold you."

"I..." I paused. Did I want to stay the night? His bed felt more comfortable than my own, not to mention his sheets were far better than the discount set that Kate lent me to use. I had to ask myself if this would truly complicate things. Not to mention, I had to be to my possible new job by nine a.m. The old me would not have cared. The new me, was trying to be responsible.

"Don't think about it. Just let me hold you." He coaxed with a sexual voice that told me that he was good at convincing me to do things with his voice.

I shuttered with excitement mixed with anticipation as he rolled off and pulled my naked body to the front of his body. The soft butter leather of the couch felt cool against our skin now that the air conditioner in his place was running again.

"Don't answer me right this second. Let me convince you that it's a good idea." There was that sexually laden husky voice that was whispering into my ear as we laid naked next to each other. His lips vibrated off of my skin as he spoke and his strong arm held me close while his free hand caressed me over my belly and then down part of my leg.

"Hank?" I finally spoke up in a whisper not even sure if he could hear me.

"What?" He whispered back and then started to kiss the tender part of my neck.

"I really did come over to apologize. This was not part of my plan." I wanted him to know that I did not come over to get a free month of rent, or even convince him sexually to give me a ride to work. I felt I had to ask before I lost my bravado to his tender kisses and caressing. "I also had a favor to ask." My voice sounded meek.

"Yes! Now can I take you back to my bedroom where we can get comfortable, and I can convince you that a second time in just a bit would be the best idea we've had together yet. I feel like I have a lot of apologizing to do and so do you." His voice held laughter as he teased, and I knew he was just saying yes to anything.

I rolled out of his embrace and off the couch. I wanted to say something, but as I glanced at his incredible naked body and his sexually happy hazed look, I could not find any words for the moment.

I watched him stand and pull me into his body as he began kissing me while his hands held my face close to his. I let my hands caress his back as I enjoyed the feel of his lips tingling against mine. As soon as he pulled away, we looked at each other and smiled. "Apology accepted." He teased.

I laughed. "Then I feel better."

"You will once I have you snuggled against me. Is your place locked up?" He asked with a concern to his voice.

"Yes." I softly replied as I felt his hand fold over mine and gently walked me back to his room. The bed was made and there was no construction mess lying around. It looked as if everything was finished.

The moment he laid on the bed and pulled me towards him, we both laughed for a second. It was when he rolled me next to me and held me tight that I knew my chances of going home tonight were not looking good.

As I lay snuggled up next to him on his bed, my mind was coming back around to thinking about all I had to do as his hands held me tight against his body and his lips kissed against my neck.

"Lexi?" His voice sounded filled with emotion, but I knew some men were good at deceiving.

"Yes?" I answered softly and tried to let any emotions I was feeling rein themselves in.

"I am sorry if I came across as grumpy or overbearing. Kate probably told me more than I deserved to know, but somehow I felt protective and wanted to help when all you wanted was your space." He kissed the back of my neck and then my shoulder.

"Kate does tend to play the older sister too well. However, it's me who should be apologizing, for a lot." I rolled away and then sat up straight and turned slightly towards him. "The last few months, hell the last few years, have not exactly had me being my normal self. I can honestly say the day Kate moved out to her corporate apartment, I retreated into a depression about life, men, money; you name it. It has been a hard month." I smiled wryly while he looked as if he wanted to say something, and yet, he did not. He sat up and then pulled me towards him for a kiss. Whatever emotion I saw on his face, it was evident in the way he possessively kissed me as if he wanted to take my pain away. Tonight he did. Whatever will happen tomorrow will be me stepping out as an adult.

When he pulled away from the kiss, I looked at him intently with desire to want to do more, to sleep over and do this again, but I had to be at this possible job at nine a.m., and it was getting late. When I stood up off his bed to go get dressed, he pulled on my hand.

"Where are you going?" He asked with concern.

I pulled my hand away and smiled weakly. "My clothes." I briskly walked towards the front room. Just as I turned from picking up my clothes in my hand and held them in front of my naked body, I noticed he was right behind me. "I have a job tomorrow at nine a.m., well actually I think I have a job. They told me to be there dressed in uniform at nine. It looks promising." I offered up as my reason for wanting to bolt out of there and try to find some semblance of what just happened.

He stood next to me naked and rubbed his hand over my arm. His tender voice spoke out with concern. "How are you getting there? Do you want me to drive you?"

I looked at his caring eyes and smiled. "That was why I came over here tonight. I needed to apologize and hoped you might give me a ride until I get a bus schedule figured out. It's downtown, so..." I paused as suddenly, I felt my asking was not a great step to my independent new self. I could easily take the bus by leaving the house at eight in the morning. Was I finding a way to depend on a man again? I quickly spoke out. "Never mind. I really can take the bus and the real reason I came was to apologize, not to ask for a favor."

I hurriedly tried to start to get dressed when his hands stopped me and tried to undress me again. He smiled at me seductively as he spoke. "Stay the night." My shoes got kicked over to the side. "I'll make you breakfast in the morning and drive you in." My skirt was out of my hands and tossed far off to the side.

I looked him in the eyes and felt his excitement poke me in the leg. I did not dare to look down, or I would be lost in the sexual moment. Instead, I stood there in my navy thong and matching bra trying to put my blue top over my head, but he stopped me.

"I'll drive you in Lexi. It will be my pleasure. I'll even drive you in my other car." He teased.

I looked at him in question. He had another car? One besides the old work truck I always saw him drive? I tilted my head in question and smiled. He answered my internal question before I could ask.

"It's been in the shop. I had a guy hit me three months ago, and when I got it back, I put it in my garage. Since I was always stopping to get stuff for the yard, I just kept driving my old beat up truck that was my first car since I started to drive. I bought it back when I was a teen with my own money. I just have not had the heart to replace it. It has too many memories..." He said it so a matter of fact as his voice faded off on the word memories, but I was curious.

"What kind of car?" I smiled out of curiosity.

"Let me get you undressed again, and I'll tell you." He taunted as he took my top out of my hands that I was trying to slip over my head, and he tossed it far away from me as well.

I opened my eyes in question as for him to tell me. "Yes?"

"Black BMW." He looked as if he wanted to tell me more about it for a brief second, and then I realized he was focused on my bra snap, not on telling me about his car.

I took a step back as he took off my bra. "I have to find some black pants and a white shirt for tomorrow. They might need to be pressed. I need to shower..." His kiss stopped me from my excuses.

All of that could wait for now. I felt a complete loss of sanity as our bodies quickly found a way to excite one another again. Standing here, in his house, kissing him, felt more right than I had with any man. Nothing else mattered, only the two of us making each other happy.
Chapter Ten

"Kate. Kate." I whispered into my cellphone while sitting in Hank's front room. I made myself comfortable in his brown Italian leather chair. I tossed on my light blue shirt and long navy maxi skirt as soon as I snuck out front while he seemed to be in a deep sleep. My back was to his bedroom, as my mind whirled with what just happened here tonight. It was now one a.m., and I could not sleep nor could I not call my sister. For this, she would be glad I woke her up.

"It's one something in the morning, Lexi? Is everything ok?" Her groggy voice whispered through her cellphone.

"It is, but first I have to tell you about something that is so exciting that just happened that it could not wait until morning. Besides, I think you fly out at eight a.m., so..." The elation in my sing song voice could not hold it any longer as I let my last words sing out. "I slept with Hank. I am at his house right now!" I let my feet do a little quick kick thing and then slid them back underneath me to sit all cozy in his chair.

A moment of silence came from Kate, and then I heard her mumble something but it wasn't to me. "Lexi finally slept with Hank. Yeah. Alright. I'll tell her. Mike says Hank is the happiest man in the world right now. Let's do double date dinner on Friday or Saturday. Love you Lexi. Glad you're getting around to moving on. Good night." She hung up before I got to agree to the double date. I was sure I heard some kissing going on as she hung up, which meant that my waking the both of them up was going to lead to something else.

I set my phone down on his coffee table and felt my insides tingle as I let a huge smile of satisfaction cross my lips. I had, finally, moved on. I went forward with my life, at least the first few steps. I was finding a way to get rid of my past, and make some money doing it. Although, part of my past needed to stay with me, I was not getting rid of most of my shoes, those were staying. I found a way to let my guard down and have some fun for a change. If anything more came of it, I needed to be open to what Hank had to offer. It might be too soon, but it sure did feel right just an hour ago.

I was about to get up when I felt his strong sexy hands slid down over my shirt and caress my pebbled nipples through my shirt. His lips kissed the side of my neck as I let out a little purring sound.

"Did I wake you?" I rubbed his hand and then turned my head to the side so I could give him a light kiss on the lips as he was practically bent over me from behind the chair.

"Yes and no. I woke to an empty bed and got worried that you went back home. Then I heard a giggle out here. Is everything ok? Want to come back to bed and fool around some more?" His hands were starting to take off my shirt as his lips kept kissing my neck. I had a situation here. I wanted to keep doing what we were doing earlier, but this job opportunity was a huge step in my independence. I hated to turn him down, but heading back to my own bed, setting an alarm and getting up early enough to find what I needed to wear was really important to me.

"I do, but I should go. I need to find those black pants and white shirt. I need to set my alarm and in a few hours I need to be catching the bus." I turned completely towards him, and as I did he caught me off guard by sliding my shirt off over my head.

"What we need to be doing is going back to enjoying one another. Sleep can wait. I'll set my alarm. While you get ready in the morning, I'll make you breakfast. I can drive you in, so no need to leave here until eight thirty at the latest." His offer was tempting. I did not want to screw this up, but I wanted more so to be kissing him while our naked bodies touched. I did not have a chance to argue.

His strong hands went under my armpits and lifted me out of the chair and over it. When he set me back on the ground, I noticed his arousal and the way his hazy eyes looked over my body as he slowly slinked downwards while his hands were taking my skirt with him.

"Step out of your skirt, Lexi May." He said it with a sexy southern twang.

I laughed and teased. "Not until you tell me where that sexy southern drawl comes from." I crossed my arms over my breasts causing them to push together and up.

"Alabama. Damn woman, you are so damn sexy. Now step out and let me ravish you." He had a slight laughter to his voice, but I could tell he meant business; however, I needed to make sure that we were on the same page about getting me to work in the morning.

With my arms still crossed I teased. "You'll set the alarm?" I stepped one foot out, and his hand traveled up between my leg as he looked up at me shaking his head yes.

"You'll drive me to work and not keep distracting me?" His other hand was on the back of my thigh as he continued to shake his head yes and look me in the eye.

I stepped out as I reminded him. "No distraction. A promise is a promise."

"The only thing I promise is you are going to love the next thing I do to you." With one swift move, he had me in his arms and carried me back towards his bedroom. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to this new job opportunity, but what I did know for sure, I was going to love what he did to me next.

The morning came as the alarm sounded at seven a.m. I did not want to get out of bed. Hank had a morning wood, and I had not gotten enough of him last night. If last night was a true dream of luscious fantasy come true, then I did not want it to end.

He kissed my forehead as he reached for the alarm and turned it off. "Morning sunshine. I'll get coffee going. You want to shower here or your place?"

I jumped out of bed before he could change my mind. "Mine. Don't move." I shouted.

"Why?" He looked around the room as he sat up and was trying to see why I asked him not to move.

"Because if you touch me again, I won't make it to this job. Stay! Stay right there and let me just back out and head to my place. I'll be ready in an hour." I started to back out naked, and his smile grew huge.

"Lexi. Lexi. Lexi. Come here and let me kiss you good morning again." He teased.

I stopped in his bathroom doorway as I had begun backing out towards the wrong door. I noticed his thick plush grey robe hanging up, and I grabbed it off the hook. "No! Stay!" I started to laugh. "I'll return the robe and get my clothes later. I'm going to bolt out of your house to the back door of mine and lock my door behind me. I'll unlock it at eight. Don't come over before."

I turned and started to run towards his door but his naked body caught me in mid doorway, and his strong arms wrapped around me. "Lexi May, it's a good thing I want to help you because you are this close to be seduced back to my bed." His kisses began to trail my neck as his hands were trying to undo his robe that I tied on in a double knot. I heard myself moan out as he kissed my neck, and then I shivered.

"Hank?" I whispered out.

"Yes, sunshine?" He kept kissing me while trying to undo the knot.

"If you let me go this morning; I will spend the night with you again." I laughed as I felt his hands drop away, and he took a step back.

"Deal." He spoke out loudly. "It's a deal and I am holding you to it. Now go before I break this deal and spend all day ravishing you." His light laughter in his voice had me not looking back and charging out of his back door to my back door with only my cellphone and house keys in hand, the only two things that were in my hand when I came over last night. As for my clothes, well I would just have to get them later.

True to his word, he had coffee in a traveling coffee cup and an oatmeal in a cup with cut up apple bits. He was dressed in a pair of dark grey casual pants and an embroidered navy polo shirt with Jackman Properties on it. I let my finger slide over the white embroidery and then looked into his eyes as I took both the coffee and oatmeal out of his hands. "You want to tell me about this family business?"

I watched him pull the backdoor behind me and make sure it was locked as we stood on the concrete step of my rental that led to his driveway. I noticed the black BMW that was not even a year old and thought that it was nice to be back into some kind of luxury.

"I will but not right now. Right now, I need to get you in my car and on the road, or I am opening this back door and taking you back inside." He cleared his throat. "What's it going to be Lexi?"

The twang sound hit a note when he said my name. I could easily just forget about this and go inside, but I knew better. Something happened in the last forty eight hours to me. I wanted to prove to everyone that I can get back on my feet and be my own woman. Hank was a distraction that I did not want to lose, so I needed to utilize him wisely. "Work. Besides, you look like you have to go to some properties or something?"

"I do. I've got a few contractors to meet on site. My house remodel was supposed to be done two weeks ago, but sometimes a man gets distracted with other things. Pretty things. Things that make his mind spin, and his focus dissolves. I'll tell you one thing." He started with as he opened and closed my door for me. Once he was inside the driver seat, buckled up and backing down, he mentioned the one thing. "Making love to you last night, multiple times, was the best damn focus distraction a man could ever ask for."

I raised my eyebrows and smiled as I took a sip of coffee and then set it in the cup holder. He said made love, and that comment reverberated in my heart as I smiled coyly at him and then focused on my breakfast.

The oatmeal smelled and tasted homemade, not some packet of sugary stuff. I ate half and then fed a few bites to him while we stopped at traffic lights. By the time we pulled up to Kipsies Bar, I had terrible thoughts of running into Clyde or one of his cronies or worse, just plain sucking at the job.

Hank patted my leg and then leaned in to kiss me. The moment his lips touched mine; I felt a bit better. "It will be fine. You'll do great. Text me if you need me. I put my cell number in your phone while you slept last night. I could not really fall back to sleep after our last time. I want you to keep your chin up, deep breaths when it feels stressful and know that tonight, I will make you forget everything."

With that comment, I knew he could. I kissed him again quickly for good luck and then asked. "Are you picking me up or should I catch the bus back home. It's really a short bus ride, so it's not a big deal."

"I'll be here. Just text me half hour in advance. Listen Lexi. This day will feel stressful, but in no time at all you'll be on track. I'm proud of you. Just know you have got everyone cheering you on." His voice held conviction, and his eyes sparkled as he smiled. It gave me the boost of confidence I needed.

I blew a kiss and shut his door. I straightened my shirt and checked myself. I looked fine. I put my shoulders back, chin up, and tossed my long blonde hair that had the front up in a clip behind me. I opened the glass door to the bar and felt that I was going to be ok. With everyone's support, I was going to start walking in the right direction.

My first day of training was a blur. Between filling out my application, W-2 forms, and a fast pace restaurant that served high end clientele for lunch and drinks, I was exhausted and extremely ready to see Hank. I had an hour before he could get back to this end of town to pick me up, so I sat at the now vacant end of the bar drinking a water with lime and texting Kate back and forth. She apparently could not wait for the juicy details. She called me earlier and I was busy, so I had to ignore her call. She was getting ready for a meeting, but had a few minutes to text.

My last text to her as I watched Hank walk through the restaurant door about summed it all up. 'Hank's here to pick me up. I'll call you later, much later. We are going to be busy for a bit.' I put a smiley face emoticon on the end of the text that winked on and off. With the look in Hank's eyes, nothing faded from this morning's temptations. I could tell as soon as he got me home, that I was going to have a huge smile on my face before we made dinner plans.

He walked straight towards me with no regards to anyone in the room with a seductive smile on his face and a look that told me as soon as we got home, we were going to finish what he wanted to start this morning. I had not had a look from a man like that, not one from the one I was married to, in a very long time. It felt good to be wanted again like that. Perhaps, what Clyde did to me was a favor. His decisions led me to Hank, and I was beginning to think that my standards about men and money was not important, how Hank made me feel last night... that was important.

"Hi sexy." I stood up to walk towards him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Today was too damn long. Let's get out of here." He grabbed my hand and practically raced me out of the restaurant. As soon as we were inside his car, which had been parked in a no parking spot right out front, his voice dropped low and husky. "I should have just ravished you this morning. Screw the job. Both of them."

"Tough day at work?" I asked with laughter to my voice and then added. "Because mine was a super-fast exhausting blur. But I got the job!" I shrilled with excitement.

He practically peeled out of the parking spot and raced through traffic that was starting to get heavy. "I knew you would. First days are always crazy." His eyes were focused on maneuvering quickly through traffic until he had to stop at a red light. It was in that moment that he turned to me and smiled coyly. "My day might have gone better if I could not stop thinking about ways to seduce you all day. You are a huge mental distraction." He leaned over and kissed me quickly and then whispered to my lips. "And I love it!"

I wanted to scream out, so do I, but instead I let the tingling sensation against my lips make me smile as I noticed our light turned green. The car behind honked, and Hank took off like he was on the starting line of a drag race.

Once we got off the main flow of traffic to the side streets towards our neighborhood, I realized that I had ten items to ship by tomorrow morning and about a zillion to list. I needed to stay focused, and I knew as soon as we pulled into Hank's driveway and stepped inside his home, all focus would be lost.

"Hank?" I spoke out with a soft questioning tone of pleading.

"Yes?" He replied and looked my way with a smile on his face.

"I know that as soon as we get to your place, well that we both want to..." I paused and then took a deep breath. "I have all these listings that sold, and I need to..." He didn't let me finish.

"First, I get to ravish you. Then, I will cook you dinner. After that." He chuckled, and he pulled into his driveway. "I will help you with whatever it is you need to do with all of that."

"You will?" My voice sounded super peppy. I was not looking forward to picking up all the express shipping boxes, putting the items in and preparing to send. Not to mention the listing of several more items. I had a plan to get as much sold as soon as possible. I had a feeling that if I did, I could start living this new life without trepidation that I wished I had gone back to my old life.

"I will. I think it's important to you, so I will make it important to me." He got out of the driver seat and was coming around to open the door for me. As soon as he offered me a hand to get out, I took it and gave him a quick kiss. When I pulled back, I let my fingers cover his lips in a shushing motion.

"Hank? I want you to know that I still plan on getting the rest of the rent to you by the end of this week. This isn't about me finding a way out of paying you." I wanted to finish but his hands were surrounding my face, and his lips were pressed into mine while his tongue dipped into my mouth and silenced me.

When he pulled back, his eyes looked into mine, while his hands still held my face. "I know Lexi. I know. Let's just get you through this next phase. I want to mind erase you of Clyde and the terrible things he did to you. Right now, I have no interest in rent, only making you moan again, just like you did last night."

I had so much I wanted to say, but now was not the time. I wanted him to know that Clyde was a journey in my life that had ended, and that I had spent too many depressing lonely nights thinking about what I did wrong and how was I ever going to live like I did again. Something happened that night I danced around drunk in all my evening gowns. Something snapped and caused me to realize what Kate had been telling me all along. I got this. I can do this. I can be my own person financially, and I can have fun getting back on my feet. Selling off all my expensive lavish belongings that only brought me sale satisfaction, was the start of my financial independence. Hank, well he was my fun. If it went someplace special than I was the lucky one.

The car door behind me shut, and I heard an audible lock sound as I watched Hank put his keys in his pocket. His left hand was holding my right hand and leading me towards his front door. I pulled back and stopped my feet. "Hank?" I paused while he turned to look at me with concern to me calling his name. "Promise me that no matter what, we will be friends. I mean. I like you. Really like you, which is odd because the first day I met you, I wanted to hate you. I did not want a man in my life, not a man like you. I didn't want to feel what I feel, and I am afraid that if things do not work out between us that you'll end up hating me, and that would break my heart because my heart already feels too raw already." It was tough to say all of that. I knew that if this was just a fun thing that my emotions for Hank were already developing and if, for some reason, he decided it was over; I still wanted his friendship. Hell, I still wanted Clyde's friendship, which told me maybe I had man issues and the feeling of abandonment. I really liked Hank. Hank treated Kate like a little sister and if things between Kate and Mike worked out, I did not want to be the thorn in their sides.

The moment I stopped talking, I noticed the concerned look in Hanks eyes as he wrapped me up in his arms and hugged me tighter than I had ever felt. "If it was my choice, I would never let you go. However, if it makes you feel better; I'll promise to always be your friend. Hell, I promise to just always be there for you no matter what. Okay Lexi? Are you ok?" His caring voice held concern and persuasion in it.

"I will be as soon as you get me out of this heat and naked in your bed." I laughed as I tried to lighten the heavy mood I put upon us.

"Enough said." He opened his front door, and I walked in past him. As soon as I was inside, and the sound of the front door closed and locked, I was turned around to face him. His lips dropped to mine, and I felt his hands working at my white dress shirt to get it off of me as my hands was tugging his polo shirt out of the khaki pants he had on.

We started to walk in unison while kissing towards his bedroom as our hands frantically wanted to feel naked skin. Our efforts were hindered by his brown leather chair that I had sat in just this morning at one a.m. It stopped our movement as our lips parted.

"Let's get to your room first." I suggested merrily.

"Let's not and you just stop pulling at my clothes, so I can focus on getting you naked, sitting in this chair, with your legs over my shoulders and my face doing things to make you moan." His hands began to continue undressing me, and I stilled them.

"Only if you let me ravish you after." I spoke softly yet with seriousness.

His hands worked past my hands holding them, and he had my blouse unbuttoned and was sliding off my shoulders. "Yes." He spoke softly and then kissed my lips gently.

"Yes?" I asked in an almost moaning sound as he was kissing my collar bone and working my bra off.

"Yes." His mouth dropped to my pebbled nipple as his hands had my pants sliding down my legs. I stepped out of my two inch work heels that I wore and kicked them to the side.

"Step out of your pants, Lexi." His husky low voice commanded it as his lips continued down my belly.

I giggled softly and spoke out with bated breath. "I believe you told me to do that before, and it led to something."

He lifted my feet, one foot at a time and my pants were tossed off to the side. I was standing there in only my black underwear, looking down at him as he was looking at me with his mouth kissing me over my underwear. When he stood back up, his lips kissed mine with such passion that I wanted his body to be naked as well. The moment his kiss pulled back for a second, I heard his conviction. "This is going to lead to something alright. Something great." He teased.

"Get naked first. Please. I want to see you naked too." I practically begged of him.

He quickly stripped of his clothes. Making a jumbled mess of clothes on the floor over mine. He slid my black panties down my hips. As I stepped out of them, I realized that these next few moments of passion were something I needed desperately. Probably wanted since the minute I set eyes on his sexy body, listened to his southern twang, and knew that my life before him, was nothing compared to what it was like to have him in it. This new life, was better than I ever imagined, and it didn't take a lot of money or a serious shoe sell to make me smile.

The minute I was in the brown leather chair, my legs gently caressed up and back, his head between my legs and my mind being erased; I knew that fun with Hank was a whole hell of a lot better than some big new house with a lot of money dumped into it. Hank was the kind of cure I needed for all the emptiness I was feeling.

By the time I withered in orgasm, Hank was kissing his way up to my neck. I felt the thick southern accent telling me how beautiful I am, which had me shutter with a heavy breath. I felt the need to just be held by his naked body, but his needs had not been met. I let myself feel the mind erasing moment for a moment longer, and then I softly suggested that he let me sit in his lap.

With my legs over his, my back to him, letting my long blonde hair drape down my back; I let my body slowly and seductively ease down onto him. His husky groans of pleasure grew louder as I rose up and down, allowed me to feel the pleasure once again. I felt his hands slowly hold my hips and guide me in what I was doing as my own moans filled his living room with pleasure. It wasn't a fast and furious rush to see how to make the other satisfied; it was a unison motion of pleasure that caused both of us to crumple against each other in slick wet bodies that needed a moment to regain composure.

Our breaths filled the room as our heavy breathing tried to reside to a normal breath. Hank was the first to say anything as my mind had truly felt erased from all normal responsibilities or stress.

"Damn woman, that was incredible. There is not one sensible idea in my brain right now." His husky voice of sedation filled my ears like a love song.

I turned in the chair and let my body curl up onto his as I kissed him. When my lips pulled away, I smiled as my eyes met his. "Thanks. I needed that."

We took a few quiet minutes to kiss and smile at each other, until I realized that this could go on all night. I had my fun, now I really needed to focus on getting my stuff ready to ship tomorrow morning, and new items listed.

"Hank?" I asked his name in question softly. "I really need to do a few things." I got up off of his lap and began to gather my clothes up into my arms. As I bent over, his strong hands set at my waist and gently eased me back.

"Later." He teased.

I laughed and wiggled out of his lap. "No now. I mean it. I need to get a few things done. This has been fun, but I want you to just..."I paused and then spoke out rapidly. "Sit there until I walk out of here."

"You hungry?" He asked like a change of subject was not a big deal at this particular moment and his offer of distraction to make me stay would hinder my need to get my stuff ready to ship.

"I suppose. They fed me lunch." I had my black pants on without my panties. I was afraid if I took the time to put those on, he would have me naked again. I slipped my button up starched collar shirt on and began to button it without my bra, but I stopped half way up as I was in a hurried haze. If I did not leave the room with his naked body looking at me like it was, I was going to get nothing done.

"You gonna keep leaving your undies here?" He asked in a southern drawl. He looked sexy as hell sitting naked and relaxed in his big brown chair with his hands resting on the armrests, he legs open and spread out, and his entire body leaning back against the chair with a look of mischief on his face. If I did not hurry, I was sure he was going to try to seduce me into staying. Not that I did not want to, but I really did need to fulfill my eBay orders and get more items listed.

"Yes." I said the word as it was laughter. "Make me dinner. I'll be over at about seven." That was three hours from now, and if I hurried, showered, found another pair of black slacks and simple white shirt that I was required for my ten a.m. shift tomorrow, got my packages ready, then I could stop at the post office before my shift.

I rushed out of his living room, through his backdoor with my small black purse in hand with my black two inch heels and my boobs bouncing freely under the halfway button white shirt. I shut his door behind me to keep the hot air out, but as soon as I stepped on the hot concrete between our homes, my feet felt like they were burning. I began to run towards my backdoor, and stepped on a small concrete rough edged shaped rock. "Ouch. Ouch! Ouch!!" I screamed out the loudest the third time.

By my third ouch, Hank was swinging his backdoor open wide in only his boxer shorts. "You ok?" He hollered out with his southern twang.

"Yeah." I began to walk limp style to avoid putting any pressure where my foot just stepped on the rock. I got to my door and turned to smile as I caught Hank smiling at one of the older male neighbors who had helped us move in with Hank and Mike.

"Yellow." Hank waved and smiled.

I did not remember the guy's name, but I caught his sly smile and comment towards Hank as he waved at me and smiled. "Getting to know your neighbors Hank?" It was more of a statement than a question in the way he said it. I felt my face flush and realized that my boob was half hanging out of my shirt after stepping on the rock. I rushed inside and locked my backdoor before Hank could come over half naked to distract me.

A small amount of blood trickled off and then stopped. It was more of a puncture than a full cut. I wobbled towards the shower and figured once I got out I would take care of it. I wasn't even in my shower for two minutes when I heard the shower curtain move aside. I jumped back with a shrill sounding breath of scared when I realized that Hank, standing naked in my bathroom, had most likely let himself in, and he wanted to what? Come wash my hair? I knew better.

"I need to get some things done." I pouted while the warm shower sprayed my naked body on the side of it.

"So do I, as well." He sounded serious as he stepped inside my small shower and closed the curtain back up. "I need to wash every nook and cranny of your body. You're a dirty girl, and I need to clean you up." He chuckled.

"Seriously Hank." I stammered as I felt his hands slowly begin to lather my breasts with strawberry and vanilla liquid scented soap that I had in my shower.

"Seriously Lexi." He said it with conviction.

"Just washing?" I questioned as I felt my body begin to enjoy the feel of his strong soapy hands over my breasts. My nipples pebbled and my lips tingled with anticipation that I licked them and bit my lower lip.

"You want me Lexi. I can see it in your eyes. You want me to wash you, and then you want me to make you moan." He teased.

I did. I wanted his soapy hands to lather me everywhere while his lips kissed me, and the warm shower washed me up. I did not fight his hands, nor did I fight the feeling in my body. This was Hank and me having long overdue fun. I would just have to hustle afterwards to focus on whatever it is I needed to focus on. Right now, I could think of nothing more than the way my body reacted to his hands touching me everywhere. Who was I to go and fight something that did not need fighting over? The new Lexi, was a calm, go with it gal, who would take care of business later and enjoy what was being offered to her now.

Right now, Hank was offering me things that made my mind relax and my body tingle.
Chapter Eleven

I decided to try to call Kate at the hotel that she had to stay at for this one night for work, while Hank was cooking me grilled chicken and vegetables out on his newly purchased, huge and manly looking, silver grill on his recently poured concrete patio. I was sitting under his new cedar wood pergola, with tan striped sun awning, taking turns admiring him cooking and then his new yard. With everything he had accomplished since I moved in next door, I was falling more for the man and his aptitude than just his good looks. The good looks made it easy to like him, but I was more mature now and wanted more from men than just their money and looks. I wanted the entire package to include friendship, loyalty and emotional support.

As Kate was bubbling over her new job, I glanced away from admiring Hank's strong muscular body that was facing the grill and back to his landscaping skills. His yard looked gorgeous. The finishing touches of potted plants and red cedar mulch around all the new bushes with solar lights gave it a very professional touch. I was starting to think that Hank had a good eye for what looked good or maybe with his years of experience managing properties he picked up some designer skills. I let my attention swing back to Kate's voice as she asked me to give my cell phone to Hank. I really had not said much on this call, which was unusual. Perhaps it was the scenery that was distracting me. I was about to question Kate as to what she was going to say but for some strange reason, decided not to.

"Alright, Kate." I sighed as I motioned to Hank that Kate wanted to talk to her. In this present moment, I felt utterly relaxed and content. A feeling that had not pulsed through my body in a very long time. A part of me was afraid to let my guard down while the other part of me was telling myself, just go with this. Don't fight it. Don't fight the fact that my sister has fast become friends with my new boyfriend while seriously dating his best friend. In my current state of perspective, it all seemed surreal.

I watched Hank take the phone as he seductively smiled at me. "Hey Kate. How's the new job?" Hank asked her while looking me straight in the eyes. His blue eyes sparkled with kindness and that warmed my heart.

I could not hear Kate's voice, but I saw the huge smile cross Hanks face as he listened to her.

"Yeah. Uh-huh." He spoke out softly and then there was another long pause from Hank as he listened to Kate some more. I could vaguely hear her talking and by what she was saying it was a lot of mixed laughter in her voice. Then I watched as he turned his back to me and whispered into the phone something that I could not hear. I felt myself smile as I sat in his patio furniture chair made of slate grey metal. I wanted to know what they were saying to each other. It was like the two of them clicked as great friends before I even considered being nice to Hank, and that was before I broke out the really nice me.

"I will." I heard him say as he turned back around to face me with a huge grin on his face and a twinkle to his blue eyes that told me he was up to something.

I straightened my back as my navy tank top had crept up in the back. I adjusted my dark denim boyfriend cut jean shorts and then uncrossed and crossed my legs while looking at my recent bandage job on the bottom of my foot that was protected by a very cute pair of sparkling jeweled navy heeled flip-flops. I let my fingers play with a pair of silver hoop earrings I had in, and then I adjusted my array of silver bangle bracelets. I was freaking out nervous while he talked with my sister. I heard a voice in my head screaming at me. 'What is she telling him? What are they talking about?' But I would have to wait patiently until they got off the phone to either ask Kate or seduce Hank into telling me.

"Alright Kate. Have a great flight home tomorrow. And we'll see you guys on Saturday." Hank hung up the phone before I had a chance to talk to Kate and quiz her with what she said.

"But I..." I stammered as Hank walked towards me with my phone. The minute I was about to say that I was not done talking with her yet, his lips dropped to mine while bending over the top of me. His hands placed themselves on the arms of the metal patio chairs while his lips pressed into mine with tenacity. When he stood back up straight and tall, with a huge smile on his face, I pouted.

"I wanted to finish our conversation while you're cooking that chicken." I crossed my arms in a friendly gesture of detest. "I wasn't done talking."

He had walked over to the grill to flip the chicken. I watched the backside of his sculpted body move in a pair of dark grey loose shorts that showed the roundness of his ass and the strength of his legs.

"Kate said she had work to do, and that she will talk to you tomorrow after work." He put the cover to the grill back down, set his spatula on the metal side table and turned towards me with a smile. "Besides." He paused with a tenacious smile. "You and I should be kissing while the chicken is cooking." He offered his hand for me to stand up, which I gladly took since I liked his kisses.

It wasn't until we were sitting with a glass of wine and our meal in front of us that I quizzed him on what Kate said.

"I suppose Kate set the reservations for Saturday?" I asked leading into the conversation the two of them had.

"Yes." He replied with a smile and took a large bite of his salad.

"Has she already checked with Mike to make sure his schedule is open?" I asked and took a small bite of my chicken and chewed it slowly thinking he might say more than a one word answer.

"I suppose." He replied and then took a sip of his wine while letting his smile get more mischievous.

I guess two word answers are kind of better than one. I temporarily changed the subject. "What flavoring did you use on this chicken? It's delicious." I asked while seductively taking a bite of the chicken and making it seem like I was taking something else into my mouth. I watched his eyes ignite with passion as he mumbled out ten different seasonings while keeping his eyes on my lips.

"So you can say more than one or two words. What did Kate say? Come on. Tell me. I won't tell her you told me. What did she say Hank?" I was practically begging while setting down my fork and reaching over to stroke his hand lightly with my fingers.

He broke out in laughter. When he finally stopped smiling so hard, he sat upwards and leaned in towards me. He gave me a quick peck on the lips and then sat his butt back down in his patio chair. "Nothing really. Double date. Thanks for driving Lexi to work. Stuff like that." He took a bite of his chicken and looked over at me with a look that told me that was not just it. There was more. Knowing Kate, she said something like, I'm glad my sister relaxed and gave you a chance. Or more motherly, like, don't let her leave all the lights on and the air conditioner running while at work all day. However, I had a sneaky suspicion about those two. They were already chumming it up as friends before I had a chance to lay eyes on him. Kate was going to be in for a grilling session of her own, full of questions, but first, I had my own ways of finding out.

Hanks yard held a bit of seclusion now that it was landscaped and properly fenced on all sides but the one between us. He had not gotten to that fence yet. I decided that between me and this privacy, I was going to get some information out of Hank in my own seductress ways.

I pushed my chair back and took a sip of wine.

"What are you doing?" He asked out of curiosity.

I gave him a seductive glance, and then I stood up, pushed the chair back, tossed the blue patio chair cushion onto the concrete, and then I slowly began to strip my clothes off in a teasing fashion while asking Hank questions and stating what I'll do for the answers.

"My shirt comes off if you tell me what Kate said." I teased.

"That Saturday is our double date." He pushed his chair away from the table and smiled.

I pushed the cushion between his feet, and then I turned around and took my bra off. I looked back over my shoulder and cast him a seductive glance. "What did she say to make you smile so big?"

He let his body relax as he put his hands behind his head and adjusted his body position to a very relaxed man. "That she's happy for me that I finally got what I wanted."

With my back still turned to him, I unbuttoned my shorts and slide them down while bending, exposing my backside, and giving Hank a view of my navy silk lace thong. As I slowly stood back up, I stepped out of my shorts the rest of the way and turned while covering my breasts. "If you tell me what she said in between all of that, I will show you the rest and taste my dessert early."

I watched his legs open a bit more, and his hips almost jump forward as his hands came down from behind his head and his smile widened. "Tell Lexi to put the thermostat on a timer, turn a light on in the house if she is going to get in late, or not at all. And Hank. Tell Lexi how incredible she is, because I really think she needs to hear it. The thing is Lexi; I do not need your sister to tell me to tell you that, because I know it, and I have told you already. However, I would be happy to tell you it every day. Because, Lexi, with everything you just went through in the last few years, hell the last few months, I am amazed at how incredibly resilient you are. I think you have what it takes to rise above and make everyone proud."

I felt my sexual, just for fun, barrier drop and shatter. I was falling in love. My new boyfriend was the kind of man I had been dreaming of all along. The emotional supporter I needed wrapped up in a hot sexy body with a southern twang that only made me want him more. I wanted nothing more in that moment to prove all of their faith in me is right, and to be a better woman than I was with Clyde. With Hank, I felt so much more than just a sexual attraction. I felt wanted, supported, and most importantly; I felt as if I could conquer my next journey.

I don't have to tell you how the chicken tasted, because it was ice cold before I got to the rest of it. The vegetables wilted and cold, the wine warm and the salad untouched. What I can tell you is that the memory I gave Hank on his new back porch was one that put the biggest smile on his face while I felt the smile in my heart.

By the end of the week, I knew exactly what pure exhaustion felt like. I worked every day from ten a.m. to three p.m. and picked up a Friday night bar shift for a sick coworker. I got eighty more items listed, fifteen shipped, another twelve sold, with total items sold at twenty two, several pieces of jewelry sold at the jewelry shop, but not my wedding ring yet, and enough money to pay Hank the past due rent and have a few hundred to go towards next month. He took the money reluctantly and then filled my cabinets with food stating he could cook for me over at my place now.

Kipsie seemed fairly ok with my work ethic and skill level considering I had been out of the game for the last seven years; however, I could tell she was hoping I was so much more. The moment her air winded comment met my ears by accident; I almost broke down in tears. 'Can't expect too much for a pampered blonde princess.' I was far enough away that I knew it was not meant for me to hear but for the head bartender during the day, who she always bitched to about employees. Nonetheless, it made me work harder all week trying to prove myself.

Lucky for me, Clyde never showed up, but several of his friends who knew who I was happened to have business drinks there. Word would get out, and Clyde would find a way to burst my fantasy bubble of Lexi is happy getting on with her life. I knew him well enough to know that this was not how he wanted my story to end, so he would find a way to piss on my parade.

By midnight on Friday, I was exhausted. I had two hours until closing time, and Hank had come in to sit at one of my tables and watch me. Kipsie was gone for the night, so I knew she would not gripe about it, but I had to act as if he was just another patronage for the other employees. Hank played along, and it was keeping my eyes open and my mind thinking about how great it will be to fall asleep in his strong arms tonight and not wake up until the sun will be high in the sky tomorrow.

Having Hank close his car door to my side on his BMW at two thirty in the morning was a nice comforting feeling. If he had not offered to pick me up, I would have been waiting for an available cab to take me home. At the ending hour of bars around here, I would most likely be waiting a while.

As soon as he sat in the driver's seat, I smiled his way and spoke softly as my exhaustion was taking hold of my body. "Thanks for picking me up. Taking a cab would not have been fun."

"No problem." He started up his car from the downtown parking lot space he had paid to be in for the late evening. "I feel better knowing you are safe, instead of waiting at home watching to see if you made it home."

I leaned back a bit in the seat and felt the roar of the engine as we proceeded through a green light. I let my eyes close for a second while my body enjoyed the feel of the seats luxurious black leather. For no reason at all, I spoke out about my plans for getting a car. "I really do appreciate all the driving you to do to take me places, but I really need my own car. I was thinking of looking once I get a lot more of my stuff sold. I'm thinking the jewelry is going to bring me the most." I let my mind think about my wedding ring, and how much I anticipated it would bring. Enough to buy a nice used car for cash and then some left over. I needed to get in next week, before I lost my nerve about selling the ring. It wasn't like Clyde could come after me and scold me for selling it. Our marriage was over and he no longer held rein over my life. However, somehow selling my wedding ring held a significance of failure that I was still grappling with.

Hank's husky voice brought me back from my internal thoughts that had drifted. "Ya know I don't mind. I actually kind of like the extra time it gives us together. So no hurry on the car but I can see why you might." He let his car come to a stop at a red stoplight and asked softly. "Lexi? You awake or did you drift off?"

I turned my head towards him in the driver seat and opened my eyes while my lips curled upwards, and my body turned just a tad towards him. "Somewhat. I'm tired. I have got a full day of packing, shipping and listing tomorrow. Mind if we crash at my place and literally just that. Sleep?" I said the word in question, knowing, deep down, that once we lay naked next to each other, it seems to take just one kiss.

We pulled into his driveway, and I waited for Hank to hit the garage door opener on his garage before I unhooked my seatbelt. As soon as his car was turned off, I opened my own door for a change over Hank always rushing over and getting it for me. His garage did not have a door into his house, so I began to walk out of it and towards my own before I realized I had not said a word to him since he gave me a joking evil look when I asked for sleep. When I turned to look towards him, he was locking his car with his key fab remote and looking at me wearily. "You alright, Lexi?"

I smiled back at him. "Sure. Just tired. I'm ok if you just want to sleep in our respective beds." I offered up knowing that I was torn between wanting to sleep with Hank and getting a good night's sleep.

"Is that what you really want? Lexi?" He was questioning me as to how tired I really was versus was something wrong.

I paused for a long moment and then frowned as I spoke. "Go to bed Hank. In your bed. I'll see you in the morning." I turned before I could gauge his reaction in the soft illumination of his outside light that was just above his now closed garage door.

I pulled my key out of my purse, unlocked my back side door and closed it behind me. When I reached to turn the security lock, I saw him still standing there looking in my direction with the saddest look on his face. Of all the sad puppy dog faces in all the world, he had to give me his. I let my hand rest on the lock as I looked at him, and I took a deep breath of cleansing air. A quick thought flashed in my brain. Why was I so out to prove, so quickly mind you, that I could be a success? Hank was not a distraction but a huge help in my success to independence even if it seemed as if I was depending on him. I was trying to do too much, too soon. The double shift today and all the listings, shipping and packing, not to mention the long lines at the post office, wore me out. Our love making only made all of it seem possible.

As soon as I clicked the security lock to unlock, Hank's slumped shoulders that were now walking towards his side back door, straightened at the sound. The minute I opened the door and whispered out, he had turned and smiled at me with such excitement I started to giggle. "Hank?"

Before I could say another word, he was taking triple steps to get to the top of the small concrete porch that led out of the back side door. His hands were on my face and his lips dropping to mine stifled another giggle that escaped my lips. As our tongues danced, my lips tingled and my hands naturally went up to caress and cascade over his shoulders and down his back.

When his head pulled back and his eyes looked into mine, I could barely see the brightness of his blue eyes under the dim light of the side door porch light. I did not need to see it in his eyes as I heard it in his voice. "You're killing me Lexi. Teasing me like that. There was no way I was going to fall asleep knowing you are that close to me naked, and I have a key to your place." He laughed lightly.

"About that." I teased.

He interrupted any further conversation with another kiss, this one softer, gentler and much more lingering, nipping, while his thumb grazed over my lip between two soft kisses that he gave me. "Hush." He finally spoke softly. "I just want to make sweet love to you. Then. We can sleep. Tomorrow, I will do whatever it is you need to feel accomplished. Car shopping? Shoe Shopping? Or lots of crazy weekend sex?" He suggested the last part as if I had no idea that he might have an agenda of his own.

I gave him a quick peck, pulled him inside and closed the door behind him. As soon as I turned the lock, I turned and looked at him with sincerity. "Sex? Yes! Shipping? Unfortunately, but as far as car shopping goes, I just don't have enough money yet."

"Then, I will continue to chauffeur you around." His hands picked me up as his body pressed me against the wall next to the door. I felt the loving forcefulness in the way his body pressed against mine, and his kiss was claiming me in silence. Question was... was I ready to be claimed so soon? Did I want another man to control me before I could grasp at my own independent life? I was thankful for Hank and all he has done, but a part of me was a bit wary about how serious I should make this, and a question was pounding in the back of my head. Too much, too soon?

As his body relaxed a bit, his hold on me lowered my feet to the ground. His hands went above my head as his head leaned in towards mine, letting our foreheads touch as he whispered. "Lexi? Lexi? Lexi? I got it bad for you, girl. Just one night away is torture. Move in with me. You can keep your stuff here, but just move in with me?"

His begging, emotionally filled, kiss filled hazy question caught me off guard. It was too soon. I needed to prove myself. I did not know enough about him and now was not the time to ask. I was exhausted, horny, and wanting a good night's rest. I did one of the most mature things I had done all night. I phrase quoted one of Kate's favorite phrases. "We'll talk about it later."

I grabbed his hand and led him down the short hallway to my bedroom. The minute our naked bodies laid against the sheets, I knew that I had just enough energy in me to enjoy Hank's glorious body. I let the vision of his broad shoulders, and muscular chest spur me on as his blue eyes glowed from the soft light on my nightstand.

"Lexi, darling?" He started with and dropped a soft kiss on my lips as he entered me with a slow easy thrust. I never answered or asked what his question was to just saying my name. It seemed as if he was unsure of what I might be thinking to his proposal to moving in with him. All I did know was the way his body entered mine, the feeling I got from his naked skin touching mine, and sliding back and forth had me in a delusional haze that I might answer yes to any question and not fully mean it.

The moment I felt the electric rush in my body, my back arched and my moans filled Hank's rental house with pleasure. It did not take him long to succeed behind my emotional display of euphoria with a tense rigid body of muscular jolts and a heavy moan of pleasure to follow as his body rested on mine.

With only the weight of his larger body supported by his forearms, I was able to wiggle off to the side and try to snuggle up against him. The bed was small for him. Too small. I knew that. That was why he always preferred it if we went directly to his place. I kissed his shoulder and whispered out. "Tomorrow night we can stay at your place."

He was quick to respond in question. "And after that? Each night after that?"

"We'll see. Now go to sleep. I'm exhausted." I felt my voice fade off as my eyes closed and my mind slowed down while it fell into a quick deep sleep.
Chapter Twelve

"Is that all?" Hank asked, as we filled his trunk of his BMW with more express shipping boxes than I could have imagined selling in the last two days, not to mention several Buy It Now options cleared out just as fast as I listed them that morning. We had two hours before the post office closed for Saturday, and I wanted all of this off of my to-do list. I wanted to enjoy the rest of the weekend feeling I accomplished a lot.

"I believe so. The rest can wait until I am off on Wednesday to ship. I think I need to slow it down a bit. Wait for some more reviews to come in and up my prices. I priced low to get things moving. Too low in fact. Kate's idea. However, I've done well this week. Thank goodness for preprinted shipping labels. Now all we need to do is drop and come back to get ready for dinner tonight with Kate and Mike. We have about four hours. What could we possibly do in four hours?" I was teasing him knowing full well he had spent half the morning trying to get me frisky while I kept insisting he worked harder for me. Which he did. He packed items like a pro, while I listed. We made a great team. One that I wanted to keep working towards great, but first, I really did need to get my own game in gear. Starting with enough cash to make me comfortable, a paid for car, some backup money for rent and very soon, a different job. Kipsies was not the place for me. I could just feel it. It was nerve racking enough to think Clyde might walk in at any minute, not to mention the understaffed bar and the poor tipping rich clients. Who would have thought that people with so much money, would tip so little, but expect so much?

Hank gave me a quick kiss on the lips and smiled seductively. I could almost read his mind whirling with ideas to fill those four hours. Instead, he remained silent and we both walked around to the car doors to get in.

As he got into his driver side seat and started up his car, he looked over at me before backing down his driveway. "You are gorgeous, you know that." He said it like a statement, and then I watched his hand hit the remote button to close his garage.

"And smart too!" He quickly added as if adding that bit of information was important to me. It was important to me that he liked me for more than my looks, but I was ok with him telling me I am gorgeous. Every woman needs to hear how beautiful they are from their lover.

"How smart?" I teased with a bit of laughter.

"So smart you want to move in with me." He expressed as if it was a statement now and not a question. I felt a bit of conquer and divide in his voice. As if he wanted to control me, and a small part of me wigged out.

"Hank?" I said his name as if I wanted to say more, but it just did not want to come out.

"I know. We'll talk about it later. But honestly, Lexi? What is there to talk about? We are sleeping in my bed every night but last night. Which, by the way, you owe me a back massage for sleeping in that tiny bed. I drive you to work every day, pick you up, cook you dinner and you clean up for me. We are practically roommates. The only difference is I am your landlord, and we live next door."

He had a point, but I had a point of my own that was on the tip of my tongue. I was just afraid it would not come out right. I decided to change the subject for now.

"I'll think about it." I said nonchalantly. "So what's the deal with you buying two houses next to each other?"

"You'll think about it? Really? I guess that's all I can ask for." He gave me a sexy smile and then went back to focus on the Saturday traffic in the area we had to drive in order to get to the post office. While focusing on the traffic, he answered my earlier question. "The house I am in was my grandmothers. The one you are in, happened to hit the market just a month before you needed a place. It seemed like a good investment that I could keep my eyes on for the price they were asking. Which wasn't much."

"Why buy your grandma's house? I mean. You seem as if you are doing alright, and that you could live in a better area, maybe a place like Mikes?" I asked while wondering what Clyde meant by his comment, with as much money as that man has, it makes no sense that he lives in that neighborhood. There had to be a story behind him buying his grandmas place, or maybe she passed and left it to him.

"It's a long story. One that is still kind of raw for me. Let me put it this way. I loved my grandma. She loved me and she left me the house when she passed, asking that I take care of it in her will. My grandma's house was the only place my real dad ever came to visit and stay with me. I was an illegitimate child, son of Jim Jackson, a wealthy entrepreneur property owner. His other two son's hate me, one of them you might know. They belong to Clyde's country club. Either way. I got grandma's house when she died, but I let it sit for a few years before I really did anything to it. I lived in Kate's old building, but sold it when I moved into my grandma's house. I wasn't ready to deal with rentals, although this one sure came with a nice surprise." His hand patted my leg as he insinuated the surprise being me. "My dad passed shortly after my grandma. He bequeathed me his property business, one of many businesses he had, and there you have it. His wife and kids got the rest, and we are civil to each other but it was a shock to them to find out about me. Actually, for all of us. I did not know that my dad did not let them know about me. There was always an excuse for everything from him or my grandma. As far as my mom, she was very good at just telling me to let things go and be happy for what I have." He paused with a somber tone towards the end of telling me that.

I had a million questions but the one that came out was about Kate. "So is that how you and Kate met? At her building?"

He did not have time to answer. He put his hand out and slammed on his brakes as another car ran a red light. We had the right of way on a green light, but Hank was coherent enough to react the way he did, that saved our lives. The car behind him reacted quickly as well and then once the other car with the wrong of way was long gone; Hank began to press on the gas as he asked me. "Are you ok? Damn. That guy was totally texting on his phone. Idiot." He mumbled a few curse words in an Alabama slang under his breath as so that I could not really hear, but I felt the same as him, if I really knew what he was saying.

I never got my answer as I was caught up in a mental replay of what just happened. As soon as we pulled up to the post office drop station, the long lines changed my focus and made me ask other questions instead.

"Do you think I could just arrange for package pickup at the house? I mean, I think I have to be there, or maybe we could instruct them to pick up on the side of your garage?"

"I suppose." He offered. "There used to be a rickety old car port at your place, but I ripped it down out of safety issues. Maybe just do a pick up on Saturdays and tell your buyers that. How bad is the post office downtown? I could ask Steph, my office manager, if she minded if you just left the packages at the office." He offered up, but I did not want to put my responsibilities off on someone I had not met yet, let alone, did not think that was nice to do.

"No. Let's not do that. I'll check with the post office. I mean, this line is moving pretty quick. It's not like I am going to be doing this forever." I laughed, since the thought had actually crossed my mind. I could help women who were like me, sell off last season's fashions without the hassles and pay them in cash to a separate account they would not have to divulge to their husbands. It sounded very idiotic that smart women, living richly, had to do that. But then again, look what happened to me. And I was not the first one. Maybe, I should put more thought into it. Upscale resale does great all the time. Even I had contributed evening gowns for charitable balls that raised cash for nonprofits. I just wanted to be a profitable one. I had to put more thought into his.

As I sat in the passenger seat, holding Hank's hand, I let my mind wander while he had to take a property call that came in on his blue tooth. I listened to the commanding voice instructing one of his managers what to do in a respectful tone but with much matter of fact, don't ask a question tone. He was definitely a man who liked to be in charge. Maybe that is why he wanted to be with me. I had always been a woman who was easily led around by people who knew what to do and when to do it. Kate being the first in my life. Clyde being second. Was Hank going to be the next man to commandeer me around? I shook my head of the negative thought and smiled at him as he wrapped up his call.

By the time we made it home, after running a few more errands, I had to inform him that there would be no fooling around until after our dinner date with Kate and Mike. He pouted but I actually prevailed.

The minute we walked into the trendy restaurant for our reservations, we were late. Hank had a way of messing up my lipstick, not to mention the fact that things got a little too frisky in the dark parking lot before coming in.

Kate and Mike were already there, sitting at our table for four, in a corner by the back of the restaurant. I walked up to the table and said a quick hello, before excusing myself to the restroom to freshen up. I thought Kate might join me, but she acted happier to see Hank than me. I felt an internal pout as I walked towards the ladies room. Kate and I had been on double dates before with her ex-fiancé and Clyde and myself. Back then, Kate always stepped away from the table to gossip in the bathroom. Just now, she was bubbling over with excitement while talking to Hank as if Mike did not exist.

The moment I looked in the mirror, my lipstick looked fine, but I had a flushed look of excitement on my face. I freshened up and decided to head back to the table. I was looking forward to the evening of fun sociable conversation and a well cooked meal. Not that Hank did not cook well, but I missed eating out at trendy restaurants and laughing about current events with a group of people. That was about all I missed from being with Clyde. The money really did not matter, neither did the large house and unlimited design budget. The freedom to spend ungodly amounts of money on clothes and shoes, that I missed a bit, but somehow selling the stuff brought me as equal of a sensation. I was beginning to realize that anything in sales with fashion might be my thing.

As I started to walk back to the table, I stopped in the short hallway behind a wall divider made out of shiny metal objects. There was reflective lighting that let me see them, but hard for them to see me standing there listening as something that was said stopped me cold in my stride. What caught my attention and made me stop my motion of walking back was Kate, with obviously a bit too much alcohol already.

Kate's voice held a distinguishable laughter that she only makes when she has a good buzz going. "Honestly Hank. I should call you a saint for dealing with my sister. She has this quirk about being on time. Like tonight. Any particular reason you guys were thirty minutes late. Wait." She held up a hand to Hank. "Don't tell me. I'm used to it. Look, I love my sister, but you are going to have to get used to a few of her quirks that will not change. Her parties are great but her cooking and cleaning, well thank goodness, there are caterers and cleaning services."

I watched in horror as Mike looked a bit uncomfortable with this loose lipped Kate, which was not normal for her, and then I noticed Hank's pained expression. Hank was not defending me as I thought I had been an excellent maid since I moved in. I wanted to walk out and smack Kate on the back of the head like a scolding parent might do to a child, but instead I remained frozen in my steps and my heart pounded rapidly.

Kate took a quick sip of her wine, which was practically empty and motioning for another glass. "Don't get me wrong, Hank. I love my sister. I just feel like I have spent a lifetime of following through or working hard to get what I want, when Lexi hasn't. She needs to grow up enough to finish things on her own instead of others always doing things for her. I am still surprised that she is still at Kipsies with the way she talks about how much she hates it there. I wish you two the best; I just wanted you to know that she is no cakewalk. However, I am sure you have figured that out already."

Again, Hank and Mike said nothing. Which did not bother me that Mike was quiet, but Hank, well that just upset me more than I wanted it to. I wanted him to defend me, and tell Kate how hard I have been working. That my cleaning skills are fine. That I am following through on all my selling and shipping.

Just as I decided to walk around the corner, Kate was mumbling something about how I suck at school with studying and testing, which is true, but it was the way she was leaning into Hank, whispering and touching his hand that bothered me. What was it that Kate wanted out of this little escapade she was displaying? To make me look bad? To pick up on Hank? To make Mike jealous? Then it struck me. Perhaps Mike said something, mixed with the stress of a new job, and Kate having a bit too much to drink on an empty stomach. I decided to play it all off nonchalantly.

"Now Kate." I walked up to the table in a grand fashionable way, and Hank stood up to move my chair out so that I could sit down. I looked back up at him and forced a sincere smile as I scooted forward in my seat. "I would have to agree about school, but if school was all about fashion and looking right for the occasion, that I would ace."

"Here. Here." She announced with a slight slur and her glass to the air. I picked up my water glass and clinked her wine glass. We were in for an interesting night. Not the kind of night I hoped for, seeing as this is our first double date. I knew deep down; something was bugging Kate. I decided that it was best if I kept my silence present and only talk when asked, perhaps tossing in a casual comment here or there about the weather, the local news or how great Hank is to me. I figured if the man was not in the mood to defend me, then I would make sure I made him feel guilty with all the boasting I did about him.

The minute we got in the car, Hank knew. He knew something was wrong, and I was not about to air my disdain about my sister's drunkenness that had progressed as the night went on. Kate had not let on that anything was wrong between her and Mike, or that her job was stressful. I knew that new relationships have their hiccups, not to mention the stress of her new job; especially in the arena Kate worked in, it had its share of frustrations. However, to turn it on to me, was wrong. I would deal with Kate later about this, but for now; I was feeling like taking it out on Hank with the silent treatment.

Hank started the conversation as soon as we were driving towards our houses. "So that was an interesting night." He was leading in, but I was not going to feed into it.

"I'm sure Kate is stressed with work. We were late, so maybe we try this again some other time." I did not look at him, but I felt his eyes were on me as the light was red and I was looking out the passenger side window. I felt his hand reach out to touch mine, and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze and then pretended I had an itch on my left side of my neck.

I watched his hand raise back up to the stirring wheel and out of the corner of my eye, I could tell he was feeling frustrated. I thought to myself how this was not how I saw the night going but for some reason, I felt as if he did not do all he could to make things better for me. Perhaps boast about me, or challenge Kate to her ill construed view of what her sister used to be, not what she is becoming.

"I'm tired tonight. Mind taking a rain check on that teaser we had out in the parking lot." I offered up to the air of the car while not even looking at him.

This time he got silent and started to drive faster. I decided that until we got home, I needed to not start anything that could cause a fight while he was driving.

As soon as he parked his car in his garage, I let myself out and began to step towards the trunk of his car. The moment he was two feet away from me, I could not help but start something I probably should not have. "Listen Hank, I probably won't follow through with you so you might want to encourage yourself to date other women." It sounded sarcastic and foolish, but for some reason, I could not help myself.

I felt his hands reach out and grab me to pull me close, but I shuffled my body to get out of his soft grasp. "Besides. I'm lazy, sloppy, and the only reason you are with me is because you feel some hero complex thing to rescue me." I had no idea why that came out of my mouth. Perhaps those four glasses of wine I polished off while putting on a fake smirk to the entire night's conversation just decided that now would be a great time to pick a fight. Before I could say anything more ridiculous, I started to turn and walk towards my rental house.

"But Lexi. That was Kate and the alcohol talking, not me." Hank had his hand on my shoulder and was trying to turn me back towards him as he took steps closer to me and decided to wrap his arms around me from behind before I could go any further. The dark grey metallic dress I had on, had no back side to it, so my skin felt every inch of his solid muscle through his cotton dress shirt pressing into me as his lips whispered against my left ear. "Lexi. Lexi. Lexi. I'm not letting you go inside until you tell me that you are not mad at me.

I turned in his arms and looked at him as he still held me in his. I had tears on the edge of my eyes, and my hair was starting to fall out of the updo I had so graciously spent an hour putting it up in. I felt my bravado still hurt so I spoke up. "Yeah but you laughed and smiled like it was all true. I needed you to defend me, not snicker at me. I love Kate and I will deal with her later about this, but as for you, I need a break." I took a step out of his arms and continued to walk backwards as the hurt on his face showed me that I was making a big mistake. "I'm sorry Hank." I cried out and turned to practically run up my steps.

As soon as I was inside, with the door locked, full tears streaming down my face, it was then that I realized that I was making a huge mistake and overreacting. However, Hank was not going to let it go just yet. I heard his knock on the back door as his voice came through the wooden door.

"Lexi? Lexi, honey? I love you. Can we please talk about this? I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you. I'm proud of you. I think something is bugging Kate. I guess you would know better than me why she was saying those things. I know you are standing right there. I can see you."

I let my hand reach back and press palm side hard against the door. I wanted to let him in but I was feeling too emotional. "I'm sorry Hank. I'll call you tomorrow."

A long pause caused the silent air to echo out between us. "Lexi? I love you." I heard the sincerity in his voice as I listened for the sounds of his feet to walk towards his house. I waited several minutes before I turned and looked out the back side door to see his lights off in his house, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I felt ridiculous that he was not standing here next to me kissing me, reassuring me. I was mad at Kate, but I knew this was not normally like her, so I would talk to her later about all of this. I heard my phone ding with a text and pulled it out of the small silver embroidered clutch I had taken to dinner. It was from Hank. I slide the bar and read the text.

"I love you Lexi. I am proud of you. Please forgive me for being an idiot."

I let his words stroke over my mind as I read it over and over. I knew I needed to text back, but I could not find the right words to type from my fingers.

I took off my four inch black Jimmy Choo shoes and draped them over my fingers. As soon as I had them back in their respective box and tucked back into place in a respectable order that I gave all three hundred and twenty two pairs of my shoes, I decided to text Hank back. "I love you too. Good Night."

Well, one might have thought that sleeping in their own bed after four glasses of wine, and an emotional night that sleep might conk me on the head, and I would be crashed out. Instead, hours had passed and I was so restless thinking about everything that Kate had said. More importantly, what it was that made Kate say those things. Ugh! I needed a hot chamomile tea or warm glass of milk with a dash of cinnamon.

I settled for the hot tea as the milk was past its due date and smelled bad. I walked with my tea cup in hand to my extra bedroom filled with some sort of organization to my clothes that I was selling and the large amount I was having trouble parting with. I knew I was successful in my first steps of this new journey. I needed time to mourn, maybe even grow up a bit. I was not fool to the fact that I loved being taken care of, but somehow, this new me, realized that being successful in baby steps towards my new life was something I should be proud of. Sure I accepted help that was offered, and maybe I leaned on Kate or Hank a bit too much. However, Kate needed to know that I heard her, and what she said hurt my feelings. I just needed to give this entire situation a break. I turned to leave my extra room. I paused while turning off the light and headed towards my bed while taking a sip of hot tea.

By the time, I did drift off to sleep, I realized that Hank had so quickly filled my life with love and memories where Clyde had left an empty hole. I was scared to love Hank so soon, but I also knew that what Kate said had some truth. I knew my weaknesses, but I also knew I was finally growing up. Hank and I had a lot to learn about each other. We spent more time flirting and kissing, and then moving on past that, rather than talking and getting to know each other. This attraction we had going, was purely lustful, rather than the rock solid stable I would need in my life. Moving in together might make it easier, but it might muddle up my process to be independent. I was going to sleep on the idea for many nights. I still had a ways to go before I felt that I had some sense of independence. Getting my own car, might make me feel a bit better. So tomorrow morning, I was selling my old wedding ring from Clyde and going to shop for a car.
Chapter Thirteen

I woke to a text from Hank that he had an emergency at a property and that he would take his truck and leave me the keys to his BMW on his kitchen table. It was tempting, but I knew that I needed to take the bus. It was already passed ten in the morning when I finally decided to crawl out of bed. My body ached and could use a long run, but the hot sun was already peering in my bedroom, so I settled for an hour long yoga session in my sparsely furnished living area.

After stretching and warming up all my muscles, along with putting a lot of deep cleansing breathes into the memories of last night's escapade, I decided that Kate and I would talk, but that I would wait for her apology.

As I was looking at places that I could sell my old wedding ring to on my computer, I noticed that Kate had sent an email. I started to open it and read it, but it was a rambling drunken mess that she typed late last night. What it boiled down to, was she was sorry. She was drunk. Mike and Kate had their first fight, and she took it out on me. I figured I would accept her apology, but first I wanted to get dressed and get this dastardly thing done. Clyde and I were over, and I needed a car. My old wedding ring was going to buy me that car. If I was correct in gauging its worth, I could buy a very nice, fairly recent, but not new, car. I was ready for this next step. I had not driven myself in a long time, but I had faith in myself to know, that once you learn, it all comes back to you.

The bus was empty into downtown. No surprise there. Most people coming to shop, drive themselves or already live close enough to walk. I grabbed two seats, leaned against the window, spread my legs out over the other seat and texted Kate. "Apology accepted. Let's try again in a couple of weeks. I'm on way to buy a car. Wish me luck."

I did not get a text right back. I had a feeling that Kate was sleeping off her hangover and making up with Mike. Either way, I felt better now that was all behind us. As for Hank, I decided to shoot him a text about his car. "I took the bus to sell my wedding ring, then off to buy a car. I'll call you later."

It felt weird not to be with Hank. We had been spending every available second together, and now I was trying to venture out on my own. A small part of me wanted him there when I bought the car, but I had already done some research and found a lady, who was selling her car with a transferable warranty. If I got enough for my ring, I could meet her later today and write her a check from my new checking account. Kate would be so proud.

The jeweler was busier than I had hoped. I walked up to the glass counter and inquired about selling my ring. I approached a friendly looking sales lady and told her why I was there. She asked to see my ring. As soon as I pulled it out of the zipper pocket in my purse, I felt some reluctance. It was hard to think that this is what seven years of marriage resulted in. Perhaps I should have tried harder, or not been so focused on the things that did not matter. The materialistic things. As I handed her the ring in my fingers, I watched the very expensive diamond surrounded in small diamonds sparkle in all its glory. The moment the lady took it; I actually felt a sense of relief for the first time when it came to this ring. Perhaps, selling off my past, was actually guiding me through my future. I also knew that ring connected me to Clyde in several ways. I needed to be free of any bindings.

"Lexi? Lexi May Nubbins? Is that you?" I did not have to turn to see who was calling my name. A woman who I had once thought of as more than a casual social friend, betrayed by her, I knew that I would not make a scene. I took a deep breath and turned around to face Monique Bristol.

"Monique?" I walked a step towards her as we barely touched in a hug and air kissed. "Cardinal now. I went back to my maiden name." I mentioned quickly as we took a step back from one another.

"Right." She said it with an awkward note of apology to her voice.

"What brings you here?" I asked out of curiosity as I watched the woman behind the counter examine my ring while wearing an eye hoop with intensity.

"Oh. My ring had needed sizing. Can you believe I've dropped another twenty pounds since I saw you last?" Her voice sounded braggadocios, but I had to wonder where she lost it seeing as she never had twenty to lose. I no longer liked playing the pretend I lost weight game. I actually enjoyed gaining a few pounds since the divorce, and I still looked great. I gave her a faltering smile as to say I really did not care about that any longer. I also knew deep down; she was most likely not getting her ring sized but something else altogether. Either way, I did not care.

"And you? Why are you here?" She said it as if to say why on earth are you here Lexi? Last I heard you were extremely poor and selling everything off. I could see it in her eyes. Practically read it in her mind. Or was I just internalizing all of this wrong, and it was just a coincidence to see her. I decided to put on my best friendly smile, put my chin up, and my eyes bright, as I explained.

"Well. Monique. If you must know. I am here to sell my old wedding ring from Clyde to buy a car." As soon as I said that, the clerk addressed me regarding my ring.

"Miss Cardinal. I need to have my manager take a look. Then he can offer a price. Would you mind holding your ring until I can see if he can meet with you?" She smiled as she offered me my old ring back.

"That would be terrific." I took my ring and put it on my right ring finger to make it easier for letting the manager to see. I turned my attention back to Monique, who seemed to be standing there as if she had something to say to me. She did.

"Well. Good for you. Moving on. Listen. I'm glad I ran into you. I tried calling your old number, but it was disconnected. I asked Clyde if he had a new number for you, but he disregarded me with a wave of a hand. He really has turned into quite the grumpy old man if you asked me. Any ways, I had some god awful social function last week, and I overheard Natalie telling one of the other gals that you were working at Kipsies and you are selling off all of your evening wear and jewelry on EBay. I was surprised." She ended it with a smile of concern, but I did not know if her intentions were cruel to put the information back to me or if she had any sincerity to her at all.

"I am." I figured two word answers worked for Hank, somewhat any ways, so I was keeping mine minimal.

"Listen. I would love to get a coffee after you are done here. I can wait if you like. I have some ideas I would love to toss your way." This time I was almost sure she was serious with sincerity. What on earth could Monique want with me, seeing as Clyde and her husband had already insisted that we could not be friends?

The lady came back to the counter and asked me to follow her. I did. When I walked out of the back room with a check for my ring, a lot less than I had hoped, I was shocked to see Monique was still standing at a counter typing into her phone feverishly. Probably spreading gossip about me, but that was not a thing I wanted to be concerned with anymore.

As soon as I walked towards her, check in my purse, and a notion to clock her upside the head with it, I decided that I should not and would not jump to any conclusions about Monique's intentions. "Monique?" I spoke out to catch her attention.

She turned away from typing into her phone with a huge smile. "Did you get a great price for your ring?" She genuinely asked.

"Not as much as I had hoped, but enough to buy a decent used car. Not the one I was wanting but that is neither here nor there. Where would you like to get a coffee?" I asked, while telling myself to not be concerned with Monique if this did turn out to be something of a charity coffee and gossip collecting for her to talk about me at her next gathering.

"Some place private, because what I have to talk to you might make you smile." She sounded so enthusiastic. The kind of enthusiasm I use to love when I talked to her about anything. Somehow though, I doubted that anything that she would have to say would be worth my while. Then again, something deep inside of me told me to have faith in my fellow sisterhood.

She drove me in her Mercedes about ten blocks away to a small off beat café that did not look like I would be getting my favorite Starbucks. "They have great green tea drinks here. It's what helped me drop this weight I could never seem to get off. That and laser lipo, but I'd rather tell everyone it was the tea." She had laughter to her voice, which was something I missed about her. She always seemed happy, always upbeat. Monique was one of the smarter women in the bunch. Was she happily married? I had assumed so, but something, deep down, told me that like all marriages, things were not always as it seemed.

I kept quiet while she parked, and we got out. I stayed quiet until we had our green tea with ginger and honey over ice in clear plastic cups with lids and straws. As soon as we sat in the back corner, as hidden as possible, I had to ask. "What's up?"

Monique's smile got huge, and her hand went out to cover mine sitting on the table. "Lord, girl. You would never believe. So much, too much. A hell of a lot more than you can ever imagine."

I sat with my eyes wide, open and quiet. If she had gossip, I would listen, but I had better things to do.

"First." She spoke out as if we had an agenda before us. "I must say this. I have missed you so much. I do not click with Natalie, and neither does the rest of the group. However, that is not why I have been dying to talk to you ever since your number got disconnected. I am so glad I ran into you at Marc's Fine Jewelry. I was going to try Kipsies on Monday, but I did not want to bother you at work, since I have so much catching up to do with you."

"Oh, I would not have minded. It would have been nice to see you at one of my tables. Lord knows; I have seen several of the men there for business luncheons. Luckily, no Clyde, but I am sure in due time." I wanted to participate in the conversation as a small part of me missed all the times we had coffee together to gossip about the latest.

"Well listen. I am so sorry I never made it to lunch that day with you. My aunt Marion had to be rushed to the hospital for a heart attack." She offered up her false excuse. I was not buying it. I felt a bravado I never had before rise within me.

"You could have called or texted." I practically demanded with a scowl.

"I did." She replied. "Did you not get it?"

I paused and had to think. Was Clyde in that much control over what texts I did and did not receive back then? I frowned and decided to forget about it. "I did not."

"Oh honey, you should have called again. Listen. I know Clyde did not want us to see each other, and I knew that if I talked to you that your prenup might get messed up. Sorry about that. I heard. You know what? You are better off not having to rely on that man's money only to have to feel enslaved by him. Oh my gosh!" She squealed. "I have so much to tell you."

As Monique talked, I texted the lady who thought I was going to buy her car and told her I could not come up with enough money. I texted Kate that I was with Monique, and Hank texted me to see how my day was going. I did not text him back right away. I was starting to become intrigued with everything Monique was telling me.

"So you are saying that since I have left, there are a group of our friends who have started meeting in private. You've started your own secretive savings to be given at free will for the next poor soon to be tied to a prenup ex-wife that gets booted by surprise. That this club of women wants to help me, and that your group has already bought several of my things on EBay." I gave her a wonderment impression on my face and looked down at my iced green tea that was actually good.

"So let me get this straight. You want me, to help your secretive group clean out your closets by selling your last events gowns as a business. I don't have to pay each of you; I just pay the proceeds I would pay to someone if I sold their stuff into this fund. I get to keep my fifty percent share after expenses, and the other half goes into this fund, since there are two of the women who are sure by the end of the year their husbands will be... what did you call it? Clyde Nubbinfied. That's funny." I laughed and then stopped at the thought of everything I just went through. "Ok. Not really."

As I said it, both Monique and I broke out in laughter. By the time we settled down, I had to ask. "Why me? I'm not great with business sense, and I just started to do this to survive."

"That, my love, is where my friend Callie will come in. Business degree and runs her own small online business. We all agreed that the way you presented the clothing and jewelry in pictures, and descriptions was better than any high end presentation we see on line. You already look like a store. I think it could be your next calling."

I had to laugh. I did not think it was my calling, but I did think about making this a regular thing if I could find inventory cheap enough to sell. I knew I was great at shopping, but that would take more shopping than I had time, considering Hank like to take up all of my free time as it is and really, I did not have any complaints other than I wanted my life to feel established. Playing around with Hank, was definitely just that, playing around like two love sick adults who could not get enough of each other's naked skin.

Once we finished our green teas, Monique offered to drive me to a used car lot that her cousin owned and could give me a great deal on Monday. Seeing that all of the dealerships were closed on Sunday. I agreed, because the more we talked, the more ideas Monique gave me. I could see this being something I could be good at, at least for a while until I figured out what it was I wanted next.

I got another text from Hank, which I promptly answered by telling him I ran into an old friend, and we were car shopping.

It did not take long at Monique's cousins business to know she had done me a favor by showing me this place. Alfred's Used Cars was a very small lot of cars. Monique informed me that her cousin's new business was a tragedy born out of a long layoff from a government job. As soon as I found my car that I decided would be best, I took a photo of the dealer price sheet on the window and some of the car to show Hank. It was a used four door, dark blue, Ford Escape. It had four wheel drive for our winters and looked like something I could stuff full of shipping packages. The old me would have wanted convertible and sporty two wheel drive, but the new me wanted sturdy, dependable and sexy. This had it all and so did Hank. I hoped he was not mad at me for pushing him away and ignoring him today.

Monique dropped me at my house after making me promise I will consider her offer of business help and to mention to her cousin that she referred me to his car lot, so he would give me a discount. The minute she drove away, I let all negative feelings I had about those women shunning me fade. They had their reasons, not that I thought it was right, but I had been in their shoes before and sometimes just avoiding all of the drama made a woman think it will never happen to her.

As I stood on my front porch watching Monique drive away, I noticed Hank's black BMW driving up our street. As soon as he turned into his driveway. I walked towards his garage and thought it was time for me to kiss and make up.
Chapter Fourteen

Two weeks had passed, and I had set my personal boundaries with Hank. I told him that I needed to drive myself to and from work because of all the packages that I had to ship and extra errands to run. It started out great as I suggested that every other night, we could take turns cooking dinner for each other, at each other's house. Wednesday and Sundays being our days to get personal stuff done. I had overheard Hank telling a buddy on the phone that he had not been to the gym since he hooked up with this great woman. I knew that woman being me, and I also knew that my personal workout time had dwindled as well, not unless I counted sexual foreplay and multiple orgasms as my workout. I felt like this could put the structure into my life that I needed and give me breathing room until I figured out exactly what it was I wanted my future to become.

Hank grumbled at first about taking nights off, but I needed time to focus on my new ideas for a resale business. I was not ready to tell him about my ideas just yet. I had to figure out if I really wanted to do this, or if it was some fleeting fancy shaping form out of a mission of survival. I knew once I did make up my mind, that he would be shocked to hear what I had been up to as would Kate. I wanted to prove to her that I could formulate a plan and follow through without baling out before I even started.

Kate was right about my personal weaknesses, but that was the old me, not the new me that wanted to be. For now, I needed to do this for me. To prove to myself that I could do something. I also needed to continue to clean out my old life and make some more money for my personal security. Paying cash for my car had been such a euphoric feeling of working through my process of divorce. A painful process that I needed to digest before forging headfirst into a serious relationship, but that is what I did.

Sometimes, when I wasn't with Hank, I would wonder if I just jumped off a bridge and began swimming the channel with arm floaters on. I felt lost without him yet unsure of what we were doing. Divorcing Clyde, and then to be with Hank in such a serious commitment so soon, I often wondered if I was flailing around in a relationship that I was not totally ready for. Just when I would have myself convinced to ask Hank for more distance, he would be there with his big strong arms, a tight loving hug and a nuzzle to my neck that had me begging for his kisses and more. I was in love, but I was feeling trepid about how we were going about all of this. We still had not spent a lot of time getting to know each other.

After two weeks of this, two days together with a day off in between, Hank tried several times to convince me to move in with him right after he had me basking in a mind blowing haze while snuggled up in his arms. He also made a few attempts to let himself in and sneak into my bed. The first time I dragged him to his backdoor, walked back to my door and locked it behind me. As soon as he was walking away, I fell against the door realizing that was the hardest thing I had ever done. In fact, keeping space between us was harder than I could ever have imagined. Maybe I was fighting an imaginary battle. Maybe I should learn something that Hank's mother spent all of his life teaching him, to just, go with it, if it feels right.

On his second try, I gave in. What can I say? I was horny and wide awake with ideas about starting the online business since I had just finished my business plan, with the help of Monique's friend Callie, who is a business major. I had numbers and facts zipping through my head when Hank was knocking on the back door with a vibrant bouquet of fresh flowers and a bottle of sparkling Sangria, which I mentioned I had fallen in love with at work.

By that weekend, I was ready to present to the ladies who would be at Monique's tea party. Kate was by my side. I finally gave in and told her what I was up to. She picked me up early that morning to get the rental van and then promised to be there later with her new female boss as backup support. I was mentally prepared, after hours of practicing on Kate, with what I could pay them, when and what would happen if their items did not sell. That they had to come pick back up from me or in thirty days of not selling for sixty days, or I would retain all rights to the items.

The moment I stepped into Monique's house, being the first time since I divorced Clyde, I remembered all the fond memories we had made there on multiple occasions. All of those memories were tainted with Clyde in them, but I decided it was best to remember the laughter that was held in this house, instead of the whispers behind backs.

I took a deep breath, glanced at Kate for support and caught a glimpse of a friendly smile from Monique before I took a brave step in securing a new part to my future.

"Good afternoon ladies. I am Lexi May Cardinal. A few of you look familiar and remember me as Mrs. Nubbins, however, in the last few months, all of that has changed." I saw smiles illuminated on familiar faces as a friendly chuckle filled the air like a song. I was back, in good graces, with friends who now wanted to show me their support. I felt more than ready to take the next step in my journey, but to keep on walking in my new successful boots.

Six hours later, Kate was hugging me goodbye. "That went a lot better than we both thought. Who would have thought that all of these women were really in support of what happened to you?" She chuckled lightly and whispered into my ear. "Then again, fear can do weird things to women. Half of those women have prenups that attended today, and they are definitely in fear of what might happen to them. But hey. If it took being Nubbinfied, as they called it, to you, then let them all learn a valuable lesson of sisterhood." She took a step towards her car and turned back to smile at me as she spoke up in a confident manner. "Standing up in support of your new venture was a grand gesture on their part. I am proud of you sis. Never would I have thought that you would be running your own company. And working another job."

"I know." I laughed with glee. "Now get outta here. You helped a lot longer than I thought it would take. Tell Mike hi for me, but do me a favor..." I paused before telling her my little secret. "I have not told Hank a single thing about all of this. I wanted it to be my own little thing to start. Now that it is really happening, I will tell him tonight. So hold off for an hour or two in telling Mike." I pleaded with my hands folded in prayer in front of me and a begging look on my face.

"Two hours. That's about what time I am meeting Mike. And Lexi? Hank will be proud and supportive. He really likes you." She waved goodbye as she got into her car and then drove away as I stood in front of the large white cargo rental van we had picked up that morning before driving over here.

I walked around back, made sure the doors were secure, and just as I came back around to the front, Monique was holding a small bag of tea snack goodies for me to take home.

"For me?" I asked as I watched Monique hold up the small white bag with white handles full of food from the event, I was sure.

"Yes. I thought maybe you would want to have a nibble later, since I don't think, you had a moment to eat today. Which, by the way, I think was a tremendous success. What do you think?" Monique asked with a friendly smile on her face and a sincere voice that resonated to my heart. I had thought that one of the woman that would be by my side through all this had deserted me, when, in reality, our lives just needed breathing space. I needed to figure all of this out of my own. Monique had no idea that I would drastically pull away from Clyde. She did not know all the details, and I don't think I will ever share them all. Kate is the only one that will truly know everything. I only let Hank in on a small part. However, here we stood, friends again, casual but business acquaintances in a sense, and I did not feel a mean spirit towards her. Just a new beginning. One that will benefit not only me, but their behind the scenes club for the next Nubbinfied woman. Although, I had to hope, after what I went through, all the women would strike out and create their own financial independence. I could hope, but I had been one to see the signs and never did anything.

I reached for the bag and then hugged Monique. When I pulled away I had a slight tearing to my eyes. It felt good to reconnect and move forward in a new direction. "Thanks for everything Monique. Shall we do lunch in about two weeks? Say Tuesday at Trends?"

"Tuesday at Trends, my friend."

I got into the rental van, started it up, and actually backed it down the long wide driveway. Fortunately, for me, there were no large rocks or mailboxes for me to run over. This week I will have to help Hank with the mailbox I knocked down.

By the time I made it home with the rental van parked in my driveway behind my new car, Hank was standing in his driveway with his shirt off. His old faded denim jeans sat low on his hips. They were worn in the right spots and gave a girl like me ideas to remove those jeans. I caught the sight of an orange mechanic's rag in his hand wiping off grease between his fingers. As soon as that rag got tossed onto the side of the open hood of his truck, I caught sight of his rippled abs, the indents on the low sides of his abs and the way his chest muscles made my fingers ache for a touch. This was not going to be a night off from each other. I was too pumped up with excitement over my news and potential success. This, was going to be a long night of multiples of everything.

I finally got out of the van once I regained my mental slut composure and slammed the van driver's door. Hank looked at me with a look of curiosity and protectiveness until he saw that it was me who was driving the van. I locked the driver's side door and gave him my full attention with a smile that told him I was up to something, which I was.

"Hey stranger." I offered as I walked up feeling as if I just conquered my old life or at least took a part of it back. Those women still loved me in their social dysfunctional type of way. They wanted my business, even the ones staying married could see the purpose of my plan. We called it the Elite Back Up Plan. I proposed an idea to aid their insecurities. Those women lapped it up like a hot dog with a bowl of ice water.

"Hey? What's up with the van?" He asked as he gave me a quick kiss and then walked over and saw the magnetic stickers on the driver side door and the long white metal side behind the driver.

"Something I have been cooking up. I know it's our night off, but I am so amped up, I wanted to see if you wanted to order delivery, and I could give you one of those foot massages you liked so much last time."

He gave me a raised eyebrow look of inquisition. He silently walked around back and opened the van doors. He let out a long low whistle, and then slammed the doors and walked back to me while still wiping his hands on the sides of his jeans. "What did you do? Rob some old friends of their closets?" He laughed at his own silly notion.

"And then some." I replied casually. "I'm starving for Italian but would settle for pizza." I walked over to the back doors of the rental van and then made sure I had properly locked them. I was too exhausted to unload everything at this precise moment and besides; those women signed a contract that if anything was stolen, I was not responsible. Not that the neighborhood had finally worn on me with its above than average downtown safeness, but the fact that a lot of the neighbors seemed to know Hank, and none of the little rebel rousing kids seemed to be causing mischief to either of our properties.

I decided to take off the magnetic stickers and take them inside with me. No need to advertise what was in there, and I had a feeling that next months prearranged gala event at a woman's country club was going to double the amount of women who came to this one.

I walked back to the driver's side door and I started to peel off the magnetic sticker. Hank took me in his arms as he whirled me away from the driver side door as I was starting to peel off the last sticker. My feet lifted off the ground as I let out a shrill giggle of happiness. He kissed my neck as he set my feet on the ground. "I'll give you Alabama boy instead of Italian." He teased.

My laughter held in my voice. "I wouldn't call you boy, more all man, but pizza is fine."

He let his arms release as he turned me around and grabbed my face with his bare strong hands and began to kiss me. I felt the desire and need in the way his tongue filled my mouth with passion. When I pulled back from the kiss, I was sure his dirty hands from working on his truck had left something on my face that was still in his hand, but I did not care.

"I have to tell you something that I have been up to." I spoke softly.

His hands were still on my face as he was looking intently into my eyes. He looked worried for a second, so I smiled, which seemed to soften his worry. He spoke with a cheeriness to his voice. "Ok. Let me finish this oil change. Do you want to order dinner or shall I?"

"I've got it. You want sausage and mushroom on your half?" I asked as I put the van keys in his hands, just as they lowered from my face.

"You know me too well." He teased and then looked at the keys. "What's this?"

"I need you to back it up for me, so I can unload everything. But not until after we eat. I'm starved. I have not eaten in the last two days thinking about today." I thought back to how nervous I was about trying to make all of this work, when in the end, mistakes and all, it worked out just fine.

He put the keys back in my hand and smiled coyly. "I think you need to back it up yourself. Besides, I think you want to prove yourself these days." Which was true. I did. However, I did not need backing up to include in the list of proving myself. I handed him back the van keys. I had already knocked over my mailbox the other day; I was sure there was some other kind of damage I might seek out if I backed up the rental van, and then I would have to pay for damages.

"How about you do this for me, and I'll save my proving skills for something other than backing up a rental van." I let my fingers tickle down his six pack of abs and smiled seductively as I let my blonde hair out of the clip. I had put my hair up at Monique's by the second hour of logging and shuffling clothes into the van. Now, I was ready to let loose for a bit.

He took the keys and shoved them in his front pocket of his worn denim jeans, which drew my attention between his legs. That kiss between us got him excited. I did not think I would have to ask twice, for anything.
Chapter Fifteen

Several weeks later at work, I felt the exhaustion of trying to do too much in the last few days. Hank was more than supportive about my idea. So when Clyde and a few of his cronies walked in with an attitude that they were on a mission, I had thoughts of just quitting my job right there, but I did not have to. By the end of my shift, Kipsie fired me.

There was not a tear shed in my eye. I never felt as if it was where I wanted to be. I never had truly liked waiting on rich business men with greedy hands who never comprehended that my waiting on them was worth at least twenty percent of their drinking tab. Not to mention the fact that I deserved at least an additional twenty percent for their casual touch on my ass. Now, the next rich man who thinks he can cop a free feel will get my knee to his groin or elbow to his back side of his head, depending on if he is standing or sitting. I am way passed being passive to the other gender.

In the last few months, I came to realize my strengths and weaknesses. I liked shopping and designing before when I had an unlimited budget. However, in the last few weeks, selling things seemed to be my new forte. My, how my tides have turned.

I drove myself home with a feeling of insecurity. What if the online resale did not work? What if I cannot find another job like Kipsies? What if Kate thinks, I failed at this job? What would moving in with Hank do to our relationship? Will I become dependent on a man again, or will he want to control aspects of my life?

I had several different answers swirling around in my head until I pulled up into the driveway of my rental. I loved Hank. We lived next door but stayed with each other every night. So why would it be a big deal to move in with him to save rent money? Then it dawned on me, the logistics of where I would put all of the clothes I was selling. Hank's place was now a two bedroom. His second room was his home office space. His place was not big enough for me to store everything I would be selling, not to mention my beloved shoes. Where would I store them?

As I sat in my driveway, with the air conditioner running and the music from the radio playing softly in the background, I frowned in thought, and then bit my lip. I had to think this through. Should I run back to Kipsies and beg for my job? That thought sunk deep into my soul with a bad ache. I took a huge breath and let out an enormous sigh as a commercial came on the radio for indoor rental units that had temperature control and varied storage sizes. The location was about ten minutes in good traffic, twenty to thirty if rush hour was being naughty. I realized that some angel must have nudged me with the solution I was looking for. A rental unit to store everything I was selling would be perfect. Temperature controlled meant I could set up a packing and shipping desk to make my work a lot easier. I would feel as if I was not living in a shrouded mess of resale and perhaps living with Hank would make him happy. It was always Hank, who was constantly finding ways to beg me to move in. However, if we were going to do this, we really needed to spend some time getting to know each other and not the kind of knowing that lets me see a mole in hidden places.

I parked my car, locked it, and ran inside to my rental in my black work slacks, classic white button down shirt and two inch black heels. The clothes, I wanted to burn them. That was the last time I would wear basic black and white with no accessories.

I took a long hot shower while singing songs that made me happy. By the time, I got out and dried my hair, I knew Hank would be on his way home in about an hour. I quickly styled my hair and applied makeup. I wanted to dress nice for Hank for when he came home, but nothing too seductive. We needed to talk seriously, not kiss and lead it into other things.

I dressed in cuffed stone washed denim Bermuda shorts with a wide chocolate leather belt. I found a coral lace bra that looked perfect under my shoulder ruffled coral summer shirt. I slid in a pair of silver earrings that had dangled tear drops. I grabbed my set of sterling silver bangle bracelets and a few colored ones to make the silver pop and slide them on my wrist. By the time I was sliding my feet through a pair of four inch Rachael Zoe leather sandals, I felt sexy yet casual. I knew that in a short while, Hank would be pulling up into his driveway and parking his car in his garage. I had no idea what I was going to cook him for this causal let's REALLY get to know each other dinner before we move, but a large bottle of my favorite Sangria wine that I picked up on the way home, was going to make this next transition in my life a little bit easier.

I had formulated a plan about renting the temperature controlled rental storage unit that had security. Keeping my items to sell there, while having them organized and ready to pack and ship was far cheaper than paying Hank rent on the second house. If I wanted to make a go of this, I needed my overhead low. So moving in with Hank made sense, as long as I knew more about him, and he found out about all the things that made me, Lexi May Cardinal, tick like a well-oiled princess machine. Glitter, sparkles, bubbles and all. If he still wanted me to move in with him, then he could consider himself warned. I am a woman who likes her sparkle, her bubbly and when I don't get my way, the new me was good at throwing a hissy fit.

The minute he walked through the door from work, into his own house with the smell of Italian sauce on the stove, he was shocked to see me.

"I thought you had picked up the evening shift when I last talked to you. You knew you would miss me, so you decided to come home?" He teased as he walked towards me. He set his briefcase down on his entry table along with his keys in a small black ceramic bowl. By the time he made it towards me for a kiss, I had a spoonful of my momma's recipe for Italian sauce with spicy sausage.

I gave him a quick kiss and then put the spoon up to his mouth. "I did miss you. Now taste this." I watched as a smile curved up on his face, and he raised an eyebrow.

I turned my attention back to the pasta that I needed to pull off the stove and drain. As I rinsed the noodles with cool water through the strainer, I casually mentioned my dilemma. "Kipsie fired me today. There was a huge incident with Clyde and his cronies coming in. I might have thrown a bit of a hissy fit in the way of alcohol on his head. Needless to say, I think it's a good time for me to take you up on that move in offer."

Not my best timing or intro into my situation, but I knew that he was distracted with the whiskey and Coke that I poured him next to his mail. His impending silence had me turning around to look at him after I was put pasta onto two plates that were sitting on top of the counter. The moment our eyes looked at each other, I wondered if his smile was happiness or annoyed. "Say something." I whispered out as my hands were tightly grasping the counter behind me as if I needed it for support.

With a nonchalant shake of his shoulders and a slight tilt of his head, he casually offered out. "I told you the offer was open. Now you can save on rent." He did not seem too surprised or irritated with my lead in for my reasons for moving in. This was serious business. So I decided to get our dinner done and on the table before proceeding any further.

I hurriedly pulled the toasting French bread with butter and garlic sauce out of the oven. I grabbed the premade salad and an Italian dressing out of the refrigerator. I spooned out sauce on the pasta and put everything on the table. I grabbed my glass of wine I had been daintily sipping from and gulped the rest of the glass back in one swift motion and then poured another full glass. By the time I sat down, I was a bundle of nerves with a business proposal.

I did not eat as I watched him hungrily open his mouth with large bites of food. I took another sip of wine with a smile as I gathered my nerve. "So you don't sound shocked about Clyde or Kipsies. Did you also think I would not make it there like Kate?" Kate's mentioning of my getting fired while driving home from the restaurant had me a little irritated. She told me not to take it personally, but that it was not a forever job that she saw me at. Somehow, I did take it personally. Had Mike already told Hank, and they were all talking about me like the proverbial bad child?

Hank smiled as he swallowed a bite he had been chewing on. "Actually, I called the bar to tell you I had work to do at home, and that I did not think I could make it in to sit at the bar and watch you. When the evening bartender told me that you were gone as in permanently gone, I figured I would let you tell me. So what happened?" He said it so casually as if it was really no big deal, but it was. It was a huge deal. If Clyde had not come in and said things to set me off, I might not have felt compelled to dump the crystal cut glass of bourbon on his head.

"A lot!" I stammered with anger. "Why didn't you just call my cell?"

"Because you told me you put it in the employee locker when you are on the floor for evening shift." Again, his lack of attention over how important this is stunned me.

I rebutted fast. "I mean as soon as you called the bar. Why didn't you call my cell phone? I could have used your support. I was an emotional wreck. Kate was not any help. Really. Sometimes I think you all expect me to fail."

His light chuckle of insignificance as he finished another bite of food did not help me in not getting madder at him. His casual parental type tone surprised me even more. "Don't get upset about all of this. It's a good thing. I wanted you to move in. Now you can save yourself rent money and just focus on this new little thing you've got going."

I opened my eyes in shock. This was not going the way I had hoped. The fact that he was minimalizing me by saying I would not have to pay rent, and I could work on my new little thing had me pissed. Evidently, it showed on my face before words could exit my mouth. Hank had his fork down, and his body placed before mine on the floor. He had my chair scooted out and his hands on my face, while his body was between my legs. "Things happen for a reason, let's roll with this. I think it's great. Kipsies sucked, and Clyde still had a way to get you mad. Now he can't. Let's just eat and then make up. I'm starved, and you need this." His lips reached mine before I could rebuttal. His mouth passionately pursued mine while his tongue danced in for pleasure. I felt my body relax a bit as I began to kiss back and let my hands caress his head, entangling my fingers in his soft brown hair. I was still mad, but this was better. We just needed to talk.

By the time he was back in his seat, shoveling bites of food into his mouth, I decided to take this time to talk. I took another sip of wine. As soon as the wine glass was on the table, I figured my food could get cold, Hank was going to listen. "I'm still planning on paying you rent. I've put a lot of thought into this. Perhaps not right away but after each time that you asked me, I did. Today was just the push to put serious thought into motion. I'll pay you half of what I was paying you for rent. I have to pay rent on a storage until for my stuff to sell. I'll probably still find another job until I can see what kind of money I can make doing this and how hard it is to keep getting inventory. I mean I have a lot to sell from when I was with Clyde, but I am still very unsure about all of this."

"Ok. But I won't take rent money. I was given this place with a paid deed. I only pay county taxes and insurance. I am not going to make money off of you living here. Just pay me with sexual favors." He teased.

I meekly smiled and then kept on. "We have to get to know each other better."

I watched a huge smile cross his face. "I think I know you pretty damn good already but honey if you've got a place I've missed. I'll inspect it, kiss it, hell, I'll do anything you ask when it comes to knowing you better." He said those last three words with so much sexual sarcasm and southern boy charm that I could not help but smile.

"You're funny. I'm serious though. We don't really know that much about each other as far as how we grew up, what we believe in. I don't even know if you ever want to get married and have kids." I said the last sentence almost as an inquisitive introduction to what plans do you have for the future Mrs. Jackson.

He paused mid fork to mouth and then cleared his throat. As soon as his fork set back onto his plate, I watched him pick up his whiskey glass and take a big gulp. This was not a good sign.

I had yet to take a bite of my food, and my wine was not relaxing me the way it usually did. I crossed my arms and gave him a straight face while I waited on some type of adult relationship talk to exit his mouth. Something deep inside of me, told me that I had just hit the first road block while driving securely on Hank Jackson Avenue. Hank had hiccups, particularly about marriage, and it was starting to show.

When he finally spoke, he had his casual let's just all get along demeanor displaying. "I was just thinking about living together and see where it goes."

"Really?" My sarcastic tone and frown on my face should have spoken volumes to him but his getting up to refill his whiskey and Coke had his back turned to me.

"Yeah. I mean, it's not like we aren't already practically living together. I'm modern about all of this. Besides, you need the help."

I could have picked up something and tossed it at his back but instead, I realized that he still saw me as someone who needs financial assistance. Which in a way, I did. But I wanted to figure this out on my own. I truly did. Getting fired from Kipsies was bad timing. Besides. I had proven I could be independent; I just caught a snag in the fabric of life. I knew I could be ok on my own; I just romantically had been thinking about living with Hank since the first time he asked. Now I realized; it was just about his needs being met. I let out an enormous sigh and picked up my cold plate of food. There was no way I could eat right now and with the way I was feeling, there would not be any kissing and making up.

As soon as he turned from pouring his drink, he saw what I was doing and tried to stop me. "Hold on there, babe. What are you doing? I thought we were enjoying a nice home cooked meal and talking? Sit down. Sit down. I'm sorry. Really. I'll talk. I'll listen. Just take it easy. I think your stressful day just is catching up with you. Sweetie? Please?"

His tone was begging. His actions had my plate of food back on the table, and he was holding the chair out for me to sit. I would sit, but I had things I wanted to talk about. First, being that I felt this roommate thing between us could go one way for me, wanting marriage, and the opposite way for him, a constant free bootie call. It made me wonder if my relationship skills with men were really as screwed up as I was beginning to think. Call me a romantic in wanting something more, but I was having serious doubts about a permanent future between Hank Jackson and myself.

By the time he was sitting, calmly as I could, I spoke up with as little emotion as possible, even though my body shook with a tremendous desire to scream and run away from all of this until I felt I had a better grasp on my future. I did not have one, as I knew I needed Hank or at least a roommate. Either way, he was right about one thing; it would be easier. "I guess I had other ideas as to why you might be asking me to live with you."

"Like marriage?" He practically blurted out in pain.

"Yes. No. I don't know. Maybe. I guess some type of notion to what we are doing." I wanted to cry. I did. But after seeing Clyde and dealing with him, I did not feel like arguing with the only other man I had fallen in love with. I knew Hank loved me in his noncommittal way. I knew that long ago Clyde loved me in his own perverse way. Now, that I had to come to terms with my preconceived notion of what love is, I knew that sometimes different stages of love play out differently for each other. Hank wanted to love me, take care of me, and sleep with me, but commitment right now, no. I wanted to prove myself that I was independent, but a small part of me loved this notion of a white knight whisking me away to fairy land. Good god, Kate got all the sensible skills in life, while I was left with looks that would only last so long and a great skill at fashion.

"Why does it matter to you so much that I just think us living together, seeing where this thing goes, is so outrageous? We are practically living together as it is now. I keep asking you to move in because of just that. That we are always together. It would be nice if we just went to bed each night in each other's arms and woke to each other in the morning. No running back and forth to each other's house." He said it so nonchalantly. It was not that I did not understand him; it was the fact that I wondered how much commitment was going to be involved between us. I was not looking for husband number two, but I was still a little old fashioned about living together without some kind of assurance.

My silence made him uncomfortable. He got out of his chair and wrapped me up in his arms from behind me while speaking into the top of my head. "Listen. I was raised to just, go with the flow. To make do with what I have, and make the most of things. I grew up with a minimalist once a month father. A grandma who adored me, but never explained all the pictures of the other grandkids. I've had a fiancé dump me a week before the wedding, and I felt relief instead of pain. So, wanting to just have you move in and see where it goes seems logical to me. I think we can make it work, don't you?"

I got out of my chair and from the grasp of his arms. I took a step back and looked into his sincere eyes. To him, this was all so easy. To me, it was a bundle of complicated terms. I wanted to ask. Make it work into what? But instead, I realized that I needed a roommate, be it Hank or another woman. Hank made the most sense right now, seeing as I would most likely be spending all my nights at his place even if I did find a female roommate.

"I suppose we can try, but Hank?" I paused as he looked thrilled. "I need you to know I am my own woman now. Not some woman for a man to control or conquer. If this is about getting what you want without total commitment, in the end, it will be sad for both of us. I won't be a forever roommate. I do want kids and to get remarried. I want a ring on my finger and my last name to match my kids."

"Let's see where this goes for now?" He offered up with a soft gentle kiss to my lips to which I kissed back, but my mind was whirling with questions. I had not eaten all day but a protein shake at six am and I knew without a few bites of food in me, my getting to know him skills might come with lightheaded questions.

I pulled back and weakly smiled. "Well, then. Let's eat. We can start getting to know each other by you telling me about your fiancé that I have never heard about."

I sat back down in my chair and held up my wine glass for Hank to refill. By the time he refilled it and offered it back to me, I had taken two bites of salad.

"Not much to talk about anymore. I was twenty-five and, she was twenty two. She was not ready for marriage, and we had a false alarm, if you get what I mean. Once she found out she wasn't pregnant, well the wedding plans were already into full swing. One week before, she had a mental breakdown and wanted college and a career. I did not want to force someone to marry me. I guess it was a relief for both of us."

I let that digest as I thought how maybe Hanks entire life revolved around a very casual attitude. It's not like I had not seen that from day one.

"I see." I offered up in a casual tone. Being a woman, I knew there was most likely more to that story, but to a man, it was just plain and simple.

Hank decided to change any kind of relationship question I had next for him by asking about my day. "So what happened today?" He was back to eating as if he was starved, and I instantly felt a rock in my belly thinking about how the day actually played out. Clyde chose his moment well. With his snide comment about my private soiree with the ladies tea luncheon to get clothes, he was on to my plan. However, none of that mattered. Clyde could not stop me, and that had to be killing him.

"I guess I finally had enough of strange men grabbing me, and Clyde showed up at the wrong time." I shrugged my shoulders and took a bite of my now cold pasta. It still tasted good, because it was mommas recipe that reminded me of home.

"What do you mean by strange men grabbing you?" His tone held heroic concern as if he could magically show up in a superman costume and use his super strength or laser eyes to change any of it.

"Grab! You know; I go to put a drink down, and some magical hand grazes my ass. That kind of grab. Rich guys are always thinking they are entitled to a grab here or there. A casual graze. An oops, I'm sorry my elbow touched you." I laughed at my own explanation as I remembered several elbows sprouting little touchy fingers. I knew they were getting a mid-day thrill while I was hoping if I ignored them, my tip would be higher. It was a sick way to get a better tip, but I knew if I spoke up, Kipsie would not give me my hours.

"I'm not ok with strange men touching my girl. Why didn't you say something before?"

I could hear his concern in his voice, and I knew exactly why I did not say anything before. I did not want him coming in and watching me all the time and reacting when it did happen. I am a big girl and found ways to get back at them. Some got my spit in their bourbon; others got their prime steak slapped on the dirty kitchen floor and then put on the grill. It's no secret in the restaurant business, piss off the person waiting on you, and you will get something bad in the end.

"I'm fine." I offered up not wanting to talk about what happened today. "Glad to hear I am your girl." I teased.

He frowned at me and grabbed my right hand for a squeeze. "You are my girl. You became my girl that night you came over here to ask me for a ride."

I casually pulled my hand away for a drink of wine and then smiled. "I think I got a very wild ride or two that night." My sexual tone eased his fears when I pulled my hand away. I was mad at him, but I wasn't. I had a lot on my mind and first was my wondering if I was making another huge relationship mistake. I did not have it in me to fight over all of it, but I knew this was something I would need to deal with before committing to move in together.

"I'll never forget that night." He spoke with pride while remembering his take in that night.

I decided to get back on track. "So, I have plans to rent a temperature controlled storage unit. Big enough to store everything I am currently selling and what I plan to list. I figure if I set up a packing and shipping desk in there, I could work all day getting stuff listed, packed, shipped and then be home in the late afternoon just as if I was getting off from Kipsies. I'll probably still look for another job. You know, in case this doesn't work out."

"Sounds great." He did not have much to offer.

"What about all of my clothes and shoes? Your master closet is full of your stuff, and if I am not mistaken, your other room that is a home office is full of stuff?" I was trying to work out logistics and also trying to convince myself this was more of a business deal than anything else. Casual is as casual does, I kept telling myself, while visions of my glittering fairytale disappeared into cold hard reality.

"I'll make space. I'm overdue for a closet clean out. Maybe you could sell off some of my old business suits?" He joked and then added. "Besides, what's in my office can go to my office at Jackson's property. I really only need my laptop anymore. The office set up in the extra room was just more of filling the space. Putting the twin bed in there for guests came from an interesting story about Mike, although I have to check with him before I tell you it. It's really quite embarrassing for him." He laughed at the memory while my mind thought about taking over his office space. Not just for my shoes, but my clothes as well.

"Well then, save that story for later. Tell me about your mom." I wanted to know what kind of woman raised the man I was falling in 'casual' love with.

"She's very independent, frail though. She's had her share of health issues. She works at a pharmacy, same one for the last ten years." He smiled warmly as he looked down at his food and put his fork into another bite of pasta. He never said something like, wait until you meet her, or I cannot wait until I take you to meet her. I felt shunned.

"Does she live close to here?" I offered up.

"About an hour's drive. Not far, but close enough. I use to drive to her place every Sunday for dinner, but she's been dating this guy for the last two years, and I always felt like a third wheel. We talk once a week. Like I said, she's pretty independent." He looked at me as my mind screamed the words, 'and casual too!'

I did not understand a mom that did not want to meet the woman who was going to live with her son, but then again, perhaps she didn't know about me. So my next question practically blurted out too fast and harsh. "Does your mom know your dating me?"

"Yeah. I sent her a picture. She said you are beautiful." Again, the casualness of it all, told me that this was what it is. A casual roommate convenience of no rent and lots of sex. I knew exactly what I was getting into, and a part of me did not care. I love Hank, and I need a roommate. No rent was a great way to start my business. I guess at least this time, I knew what I was in for.

I decided to change the subject. "I think next week I will run out and visit my mom. It's about thirteen hours from here drive time. I have not seen her for a few years. Clyde..." I paused. Clyde had a say in it but I never just went any ways. I frowned at my own stupidity in all of it. "Any ways." I spoke up cheerily as Clyde's name had faded off my lips and caused a wince of irritation from Hank. He hated when I mentioned his name. "I think I'll get the storage unit set up first. Maybe this weekend we could get stuff cleaned out of here and move most of my stuff in here. The only furniture I have that did not belong to Kate was the couch and my new bed. I think I will just put those in storage as well. For now, any ways. Hey, change of subject, I talked to Kate on my way home from Kipsies, and they all want to go bowling tomorrow night. Some band that Mike knows is playing at this bowling alley. I thought it sounded fun. I'm planning on going."

"Sounds fun." He offered up as if not much thought had to go into doing anything I just suggested. No comment about going to my moms, storage, and moving in.

Maybe tonight was not the night to get to know each other on a deep personal level. I wanted to ask more, but I had a feeling Hank was shutting down. He mentioned a busy day at work and had a few hours of work to do tonight but after that he wanted to remind me why moving in with him was such a great idea. I offered to clean up our meal and do some of my own work at my place. "Just text me when you are done. I'll come over then." I offered up with a quick kiss to his lips before sending him off with a shooing motion of my hand to go get work done.

I knew that this was it. This would be how it was. I got free rent. He got a free bootie call. We would take turns cooking and cleaning. I could spend my time working on my resale business and at some point; I will realize that I wanted more than casualness. It was at that point, that I knew leaving Hank would be the hardest thing I ever did. For now, I was just going to go with the flow and not think about that part of my future. My new focus was on the business and maybe getting out to see my momma for a long overdue visit. I knew as soon as I did, I might have some clarity to what my life really needed. A part of me wanted Hank as a permanent part of my life, but I was a wiser woman now. What I needed was myself. A strength in independence and a way to make myself feel good about me, not a man to make me feel that way. Momma was the best person to make me know how to do that. She had spent a lifetime of being an independent woman who only relied on herself.
Chapter Sixteen

The first text came, and I ignored it. "I'm done working and freshly showered." Hank followed it up with a smiley face that was winking. I wanted to rush over, but I wanted to ignore him. It might do him some good to chase me.

I put my last listing on and printed out several orders that I would have to ship tomorrow. I closed my laptop and got up to stretch. It was past ten o'clock, and I was exhausted. I wanted a hot bath in his large oval tub in his bathroom and a sleep aid to get a good night's rest. I knew an orgasm would bring me sleep induced hormones, but I still was a little mad about Hank just wanting me as his casual girl. At least, this time, I did not have my blinders on. Clyde had discussed the reality of our marriage over the prenup discussion. I still had rose tinted glasses back then. Now, no fantasy about what Hanks expectations are, and I needed to go into this with my own independent mind about how things really are.

His second text told me he wasn't sure why I did not text back. "Lexi? Babe? You still up? Working? Want to come over?"

I waited about five minutes to text back. While I waited, I put on a simple white tank top with no bra, blue boxer short style bottoms made of soft cotton, and a soft pair of white socks for my feet after I put lotion on them. I put my hair up in a clip and washed all my makeup off. I wanted it to appear as if I had dozed off with a book, in case he slipped over here. I was still debating on texting him back. Just as I was typing in the words that I dozed off to a good book, he was standing in my doorway with his shirt off and loose denim jeans hanging off his narrowed hips that indicated that nothing was on under those jeans. He put his hands up above his head and held onto the doorframe as he seductively looked at me with his freshly shaven face. "Babe? You're ignoring me?"

Damn it all to hell, he looked entirely too sexy for me to withdraw and make him chase me. I did not have that much strength in refraining. I stuck with my casual plan, knowing that I would be giving in soon. I held up my cell phone and pretended to stifle a yawn. "I was just texting you." I casually remarked as if he was an afterthought. I watched his naked feet stand apart a bit as he gave me an inquisitive look.

"I see." His hands lowered off my bedroom doorframe and slid into his jean pockets bringing attention to his man parts. God he was big without even being hard. His broad shoulders begged for my hands to rub over them. His rippled abs, screamed for my tongue to run down them. Casual was not going to cut it while he had a seductive look on his face that he wasn't buying it.

"I was reading this book..." I faded off with my voice while my right hand was holding up my iPad. As I mentally tried to refrain from saying anything more, he had begun to walk towards me with that look that told me, he was going to have me naked in the next five seconds.

I set my iPad off onto my nightstand, and stood up. I casually began to stretch my arms above my head as if I really was bundled up in bed with a book. It took him two seconds to have me wrapped up in his arms and setting me back on my bed while his lips began to kiss the side of my neck.

"I've got something better than a good book." He teased as his kisses kept trailing up and down my neck while his hands worked my white tank top up. He paused while he lifted it off over my head and then briskly found my perky nipple that was excited with the prospect of what was going to happen.

If there is one thing that I am sure of in all of this situation, Hank knew how to make me purr with delight. If that is all that he is offering right now, then I should feel so lucky. However, my heart was aching for the entire love romance to unfold. I knew it was too early for me to commit after just recently being divorced, but a big part of me wanted him to propose undying love for me, and that he will wait for as long as it takes until I am ready.

A brief rush of my ceiling fan air brushed over the top half of my naked body as I watched him stand up off the bed, unbutton his jeans, lower the zipper, all while looking at me with a hazy lustful look in his eyes. He was ready, hard and firm, and as his jeans lowered to the floor, I knew that in a matter of moments, I would feel the tingling rush through my body. I wanted it. I wanted him. However, I also wanted so much more. For now, tonight, I was going to enjoy what Hank was offering to me. The very thing that Clyde had been neglecting for the last few years. He was going to make me moan with a shuddering release of pleasure, and I was going to ride that wave until the very end.

I felt the soft caress of his hands as he slowly grazed up my legs to the hem of my pajama boxer style shorts. He let his fingers rub under the band of the shorts as he looked at me. "I need to take these off for what I am going to do next." His voice was husky with need, and I felt my insides get wet with anticipation. I knew what he was going to do next, it was what he was so good at. He was going to lick and tease me with his tongue between my legs until I felt a release of things wound up inside of me. I would tingle with an electric pulse and want to shut my legs hard against his head, while my hands grasped at his still damp hair. I wanted this. Anticipated it. He has done it enough times before to know what makes my body tick. And then when I feel as if I can't do one more thing, he will enter me while tight, and I will feel fulfilled all over again.

I felt the brief cool air touch my hot wet slickness after he tossed my shorts off to the side of my bed and began to spread my legs open wide and back, so that I was completely open to him. I felt my throat choke up as I tried to whisper out his name.

"Hank?" His name came out of my mouth sounding faint and in question.

"Sh. Babe. You need this. I need you." He let his lips trailed up the inner part of my right thigh as I squirmed just a little at the excitement that was unfolding.

I needed this. I needed Hank. However, the desire for security had, once again, taken hold of me. Being on my own had been scary. I was only just getting the hang of it. I felt the first lashing of his tongue and I let my mouth vibrate with a singing moan while everything else about independence faded away. What I needed was this, and I could do it all on my own. A little help here and there, from Hank making me relax, well that was my new casual way of getting it all done.

The moment his lips latched on, after tickling me with his tongue, I felt the initial desire to arch my back and close my legs. I grasped at his wet hair with my fingers as the coolness of it was pressed against my inner thighs. He had to continue what he was doing, and I would pulse with excitement while my moans got louder. This time, I felt his name on my tongue. "Hank. Hank." I pleaded out. "Yes!" And then it came like a thunderous roll of electricity. I was released from all things stressful from the day or my life. I was induced with a toxin that only Mother Nature can supply. I was a trembling mess of euphoric haze, and I loved it. "God, I love you Hank."

There, I said it like I meant it. I knew he loved me too, but in his own way. For now, this terrific thing that just happened, made me realize that our casual love was good enough. Ask me when I am not weak, and I will say that I want more, but for now, I wanted what was about to happen next.

I felt his lips trail up my body with delicate kisses as his hands settled above my head. I barely opened my eyes to glance up at him as he was positioning himself above me. He looked down with a smile and dropped a quick kiss to my lips. When he pushed himself back up, he had a satisfying smile on his face as he voiced his love. "I love you too, Lexi May."

His body slowly entered me, easing passed the tightness of my earlier orgasm. His naked skin brushed against mine slowly, back and forth. It caused my breath to moan out softly. I felt his heavy breath near my neck and the top of my head, his chest brushing my nipples, and his legs brushing back and forth over mine.

My eyes opened to the soft light of my room coming from my nightstand, causing an illuminating glow over his muscular body. It was heavenly to look at. My hands had found a rhythm on his back with a stroking motion as my body felt wet with more anticipation.

The brush of our skin, the heat of our breath making waves of sound, the sensitive spots that ignited with pleasure all rushed in a faster motion as I knew he was close. I wanted this to last all night, but what I really wanted was for it to last a lifetime together.

I felt his grip from his fingers in my hair as his body tensed, and he slammed inside me with a heated rush of passion. I let myself enjoy the pulsing that came from within. I knew tonight was an example of many more to come after I moved in, but would that be enough to keep me happy?

The minute his body rested against mine, his voice tingled my ear with his loving words. "Damn it gets better all the time with you. Love ya babe."

"Love you too." I whispered into his hair and then felt the coolness of air between us take place as he rolled off to the side.

I let my eyes close, and my thoughts dissipate over technicalities of love and relationships. Right now, as I felt his body nestle up next to mine while I turned on my side towards him, draping a leg over his legs and an arm over his chest, I knew that what we shared was real. How real, and how big it will grow, only time could tell.

Seconds after our naked bodies laid in each other's arms, I was closing my mind off to the fact that I was wondering if I was making a mistake, while Hank was whispering happy thoughts about moving me into his place first thing in the morning. He did not want to waste any time. I wondered if he feared that our personal differences about love and marriage might change my mind. For now, I just wanted to be assured that he loved me and the rest I would figure out as we went along.

"I love you Hank. Good night." I kissed his arm that was wrapped under my neck and holding me secure.

"I love you too, Lexi." Those words, whispered into my ear, with a soft gentle kiss to my earlobe, was enough to make me yawn and then drift off to sleep.

By the time the sun rose, Hank was already cooking breakfast in my kitchen. I quickly showered and showed up behind him to give him a hug with only a dark blue tank top and matching panties on. Dripping my wet hair over the side of my neck to his bare back. I hugged him from behind and let my hands massage his chest.

"Morning." He spoke out with grogginess as he raised my right hand to his mouth for a kiss and then set it back to his chest.

"Morning." I spoke into his bare back and then gave it a kiss before taking a step back from him.

I watched him massage his lower back for a second and then stretched himself tall and turn a bit to the side as if to pop his back. He did not have to say a word. Sleeping in that small bed of mine, cramped up all night was killing his back. I frowned and offered up hope.

"At least we'll be sleeping in your bed tonight."

"No change of heart, then?" He asked with a look of a small amount of fear on his face.

I had woken with the thoughts that for now; this was good. If I wanted more and he could not agree, then I would find the courage, once again, to walk away from something that binds me. I did it with Clyde, and it really was not that hard. If I had to, I would do so with Hank, but I knew it would be the hardest thing I ever did, because I did love him. I had my pride to protect and dignity in place. I would agree to this as it made financial sense to me, but somewhere down the road, if I felt he was not truly in it for love; I would find the strength to move on. At least, that was what I was telling my new independent self.

I took a deep breath and spoke out softly without a confidence Hank was hoping to hear. "I suppose so. What's the worst that can happen? If it doesn't work out, I have to find my own place again."

He turned and took the pan off the heat and set it to the back of the range top. He set the metal spatula off to the side before turning back to me and walking towards me with what I knew would be a strong confident embrace.

The moment I was in his arms, his lips against my head for a kiss, he spoke out with the confidence I did not have. "It will work out, Lexi. You'll see. We are good with each other. I think you moving in, will give us both a regular night's sleep, and the benefit of not having to run between homes in the winter is a plus. I'm not a snow on the bare feet kind of guy, as you can see it took slipping on my jeans to come over here. Don't want the neighbors catching an eyeful of my jewels." He laughed at his own comment before adding. "I don't want to have to do winter coat and snow boots too." He laughed.

I decided to play along. "I don't either. Let's see what happens. Like I said, if I don't like it, I'll move back out."

"Simple as that." He teased.

"Simple as that." I spoke confidently, knowing that, deep down, it would be so hard to do, and it would take me a lot longer to get over Hank, than I did with Clyde.

I sensed Hank was done talking. I heard his stomach growl from the delicious smell of breakfast. "Well then, let's eat. I'm starved, and we've got a busy day ahead of us. I have to go into work for a while, but I'll be home early to start moving things over here."

No reassuring me that things will progress and that our love was forever. I felt a small part of me crumble from desire to be reassured. I reached for the coffee he made me and took a big sip as I sat myself down in a chair to eat. The minute he set the plate of eggs and sausage in front of me, I knew that I had to live for today, save for tomorrow, and protect my heart from heartbreak. I did not know how I was going to do that, but focusing on my new business and getting another job would be the start.

I had a full day ahead of me with a trip to the post office, an appointment at the rental storage unit, coffee with Monique, who texted me last night that she heard, and wanted all the details. I had the dredging task of moving all of my stuff over to Hank's. It was not going to be an easy task merging all of our stuff. It would take at least a week, if not longer to get all organized. So looking for another job, might have to sit on the back burner of tasks to do. However, I knew that I could depend on myself and enjoy Hank in the process.

As I watched him eat, I slowly hoped that he would change his mind and fall so madly in love with me that he could never imagine his life without me. I drank all of my coffee and ate half my eggs and only one sausage while he polished all of his off. He stood to kiss me quickly on the lips while bent over me and asked if I could do the dishes because he was going to be late for a meeting. I cheerily responded with a 'sure' while a small part of me, wanted him to say work could wait; he had to reassure me that he loved me by making me tingly all over.

The minute I heard his car pull away; I wanted to bang myself upside the head with the large metal skillet pan that I just washed. If needing a man to reassure me was the only way I felt secure, then I needed to be smacked upside the head.

I was going to make this all work out for me. I was going to make my business work, and make moving in with Hank a convenience. I was going to be focused on me and my needs and if Hank hung out for the long run, great. If not, I was feeling stronger by the minute that I would be ok in the end.
Chapter Seventeen

As I sat opposite of Hank, with my bare feet in his lap being rubbed to a tender awesome, the fire pit flames illuminating our faces with a soft glow as we just sat looking at each other with smiles on our faces, I felt content. Still unsure of our future long term together, by conversations that we had all week, but content in the moment. This was a new way for me.

We had just spent the last few hours in a sex filled comfortable haze that made me believe that true love, and happiness did exist between two people if both wanted to make it a go. I know I did; Hank was still wagering on the live for today moment and let's see what happens. Perhaps our relationship outlooks were very different and our mindset of what life should be about, but we had truly connected and that was all that mattered to me at this moment. I needed this connection we made. We were just two people in this tender moment, touching and talking softly so that our hearts opened up more to each other, and we could forget the world that surrounded us with its angry needs and desperate pleas of society.

The last week was spent arranging for my rental space, moving of all my items, selling and shipping, collecting my last check from Kipsies, and interviewing new tenants for Hank's rental next door. Coffee with Monique one day turned into an almost daily thing as she had other potential clients meeting with me, giving me items to sell. It was a rushed new feeling that excited me. Moving in with Hank gave me the financial security I craved, for now. I was now able to save up most of my income into a business account Callie helped me set up. I had my mindset that if I think like a business professional, therefore, I am.

As I let my eyes drift slowly closed while he rubbed my feet, all of the week's stress just melted off of me. I let my mouth sound out with a delicious ah... sound. It was the moment his voice spoke to me that caused me to smile wide while keeping my eyes closed and enjoying this moment.

"You look beautiful in this light. Happy. Content. Hell, you look good in any light, but tonight, you have a softness that I have never seen. In fact, the first time I saw you, I thought damn there is a woman to be reckoned with if you want a serious challenge. You seemed unreachable, unapproachable and definitely out of my league." He laughed lightly at his own memory as I opened my eyes and sat up a bit to look at him.

The first time he saw me, I was in a pink tank top with a white one under it and no bra. I didn't need one, fake boobs in a C cup can stand on their own. I had on a pair of cut off denim shorts that I used when I painted walls, covered in various shades of creams and grays. I had my hair in a ponytail, and my extensions had just been taken out the previous night by Kate. It was either her or have the hair extensions fall out every time I dried my hair as they were starting to do. I cleared my throat and spoke up with a reasonably questionable tone. "When exactly did you first set eyes on me?"

"The Hilton. The week or so you before you moved in here. I was attending my cousin's wedding. I was in a tuxedo since I was one of the groomsmen. I had my hair slicked back. I watched you walk in like you owned the entire block. Our eyes met, and I could not take my eyes off of you. When I asked the front desk who you were, they would not tell me, however, one of the doormen spilled who you were and what was happening for a twenty. Later that night, I sat at the bar with some late night wedding dwellers, and that was when I hooked up with your sister in the bar. She had a few shots with me, telling me all about you, your life and what had just happened. I never would have guessed all of that by the way you had walked in earlier that night that you were in a huge pickle, but I remember thinking about how incredibly good looking you are and how I wouldn't mind, you know, doing some of the things I did to you this weekend. Thanks for finishing out that fantasy babe." He chuckled.

Did he just say what I thought he was saying? Did he have some delusional fantasy about me from first sight back at the Hilton and then got my sister to what... rent the empty run down house next to him, so he could tease and ogle me with his sexy hard body, morning after glorious half naked body morning while I drank coffee dreaming of by gone days of free flowing cash but wanting a man like him and not Clyde to whisk me away? A man to take care of me not just financially but with his strong physical sexual presence while we practice making perfect little pretty babies.

I was sick in the head and so was he. He got his fantasy, and I was laying here with a sexy man thinking that things could end in wedding bell chimes, horse drawn carriage, and white picket fence. I was a nut case if I did not just realize what happened here. I had gotten spooked once again, lost in my delusional state of being. I had to snap out of it. I had to get back on my feet again. I needed to move out on my own, instead of settling in here with him. His persistence in asking me to move in since the night we made love over and over had paid off for him. I needed a secure job I liked, away from Clyde's executive friends who liked sloppy seconds, and a desire to acquire what life has to offer without a man in it.

I slowly stood up and looked down into my recent lover's eyes. "Suddenly I don't feel very good. It must have been a bit too much wine with the pasta. I need to go freshen up. Mind putting the fire out, and I'll see you inside."

"Sure thing babe." He echoed out into the dark night as if he had no idea about what I was about to do. Which he didn't. He couldn't. I gave him no verbal or physical cues that I was pissed.

I was about to grab a few things, head out that front door in my car and head somewhere that had no men, no social grimy hands from my ex's friends, and no judgment as to why I was there. It was time I visited my mom back in Texas, and if I had to drive all night to get there, which being thirteen hours away, leaving now, I might get there by noon if I drove over the speed limit. I had this strong desire and need for my mom to hold me and tell me everything will be alright. Having Kate had been great. Having Hank seduce me felt like a sexual awakening, until I realized I was just another man's accomplished task.

My car started quietly. I pulled away with only a change of clothes, my purse and phone. No twelve piece luggage, no boxes of expensive heels. Just cash, a phone, and a change of clothes. Everything else was not needed. The rise of smoke from him putting the fire out in the backyard rose up above the house. He would be going in any minute thinking that we would start this love fest all over again tomorrow on Sunday until we both had to work on Monday, but he would be shocked by my absence. No note, no calls since I turned my location off along with turning my ringer off on my cell phone. It was me and the open highway on a Saturday night at ten at night. The bar rush was not on the road, and the midnight workers had not gotten off yet. The highway was quiet, and my heart was pounding like a racecar.

Life as I knew it, had just changed once again.

Twelve and half hours of solid drive time later, with only two stops at well lighted gas stations, and my mother's arms felt delightful as I cried into her shoulder. Just the sight of her light brown hair with small strands of grey surrounding her round face and her blue eyes, did things I forgot about that warmed my heart.

I had ignored all the texts from both Hank and Kate until I finally turned my phone on in the morning to call momma and tell her I was almost home, her home. The sound of her common sense voice kept me driving straight through. She did more listening then talking, but I knew I had created quite the drama back at Hank's home.

When the highway leading into mamma's hometown showed up on the turnoff, I had felt as if I could breathe for the very first time. It had been years since I had been back home, and it felt good to start over in a place I once dreamt constantly about running away from. Now that I was pulling into my old home town, I felt a renewed sense of self. Something I needed a long time ago.

I did not have to talk, I just sat at her small round wood kitchen table drinking her coffee and eating her coffee cake. She knew my life had been off track for some time. Mostly, from Kate, but occasionally from me as I gave her life updates over the phone. She still looked young with her Mary Kay ritual and ability to turn a man's eye if she wanted to, not that she ever acted as if she wanted to. Momma never got over what both of our dads did to her. Getting pregnant, twice, by men who did not want the responsibility, frayed her from ever trying to find true love. She eventually felt that women only needed each other; men were just for giving babies. Kate and I never agreed, but here I was. A single woman, with tears in my eyes over nothing. Momma was good, always had been. I was the wreck, while Kate's life got right back on track with a new job, new promotion, new apartment, and new executive fiancé. Perhaps Kate's recent announcement of their engagement was what had me wondering why Hank did not want that kind of permanent commitment.

My phone dinged with a morning text as I sat at my momma's kitchen table. It was him. "Where r u?" A second text arrived within in seconds after. "Babe? I'm worried."

"You should text him back. Kate called earlier. He is really worried. Just tell him you need some time. If he loves you, he will understand." My momma's wise voice rang in my ears like a burning fire.

I picked up my phone and began texting. "I need time. I'm at my momma's." I watched the green bar slowly slide across until the text showed that it was sent. Momma's reception was one bar crazy. It drove me nuts when I was on the phone with her, and her calls would drop. Now that I was finally texting Hank, it seemed like an eternity to answer him. Then my phone dinged back promptly.

"In Texas?" He texted back and then texted again. "That's thirteen hours from here. What happened?"

I started to cry and could not find the energy to text back, and his patience wore thin by me not responding. That is when my phone began to ring repeatedly. I did not answer him.

I looked at my momma's frowned face as I turned my phone completely off and shrugged my shoulders. "Not now, momma. I don't want to deal with him or any man. Just not right now."

Her arms hugged me once again as she spoke into my head. "I know darling. I know. Just give it time. The answer will come. Let's get you some shut eye."

I did not see any reason to argue as I felt utter exhaustion. Driving here I had been a force to be reckoned with, but the moment I was in my momma's arms, I wanted nothing more than a good night's sleep, even though it was daytime.

Somewhere around three, I fell asleep on my momma's couch. I did not wake when she left going in late for her swing shift job at the packaging plant, nor did I wake easily when she came home. I only woke up when she laid a soft kiss on my forehead asking if I was hungry. She brought me some of Heather's fried chicken and biscuits. Heather has been my momma's best friend, as long as I can remember and those two were thick as thieves. If one of us girls came home crying, Heather had something to help heal us. Fried chicken had a comfort feeling I needed right now.

By my third piece, my momma laughed. "You would think by your waistline and the way you are eating that you have been starving for the last ten years." I loved the sound of her laughter as it filled my ears with truth.

"Somehow, I think you are right. Starving for the love of a good man and a good home cooked meal fried in lard." I wiped my mouth with mama's pretty linen napkins she always kept for special visitors. Just knowing she broke them out of the china cabinet for me made me feel special all the same.

"It's late and the plant was busy. I'd stay up with you, but I need my beauty sleep. Do you plan on staying up? The late night shows on cable are awful. I did splurge and get me some movie channels for nights I could not sleep when I first get home. I'll put a fresh pillow and blanket on the couch, in case you decide to sleep there." She stood up and gave me a quick peck on the top of my head. "I'll wake you when I get up. We can talk then if you need to."

I patted her hand on my shoulder and smiled up at her. "I'm ok momma. Really. I just need to think a few things over. I've been through worse. I'll survive."

"Yes you have. And yes you will. Lexi May, you are stronger than you realize, smarter too. Don't go thinking that a man has all the authority. If this Hank guy really likes you, he'll drive all night to come tell you he loves you, and that he made a mistake. As far as Clyde goes, well Kate and I agree we should never have let you sign that prenup. I think he would have married you any ways. He loved you in his own way, and wanted you in the worst way. It is his loss, not yours."

"Good night momma." My voice echoed out into the empty kitchen as she was already walking towards her bedroom. I knew she was right. The way I saw it, Hank had to convince me he was worth driving back home to and staying at his place. I might have spent all week moving into his place, but I will spend all of next week moving out. Where? I had no idea. However, what I did know is that my resale sales figures were much higher than the business plan that Callie supplied me. I was making a lot more than I realized I could make, and that was in less than a short time of trying. With Monique's help in promoting me, I had more confidence than ever before. I was going back to run my business; I just did not know if I was going back to Hank.

The glow of the late night television lured me into a deep sleep. I remembered dreaming about Clyde and his cronies. I replayed what happened at Kipsies several times; Clyde had planned it all out because he knew how to push my buttons. Somehow, in my sleep, I forced myself to dream of something better. I dreamt a lot about Hank and his powerful blue eyes that sparkled when he looked at me, his tilt smile that he gave when he was flirting, his strong hands and the way they tenderly stroked my skin. Then I woke to the sound of knocking on my momma's front door.

I opened the door and there he stood. All six feet of him and solid muscle in his worn denim jeans that caused drool to escape my mouth while wearing an old tractor tee shirt that you could barely see the print on. His hair looked like he did nothing but run his hands through it for the entire drive here, and his two day old beard mixed with the stress look on his face showed that he had spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what happened. My unanswered texts and calls left him to think hard about what happened. However, the moment I opened the door without looking and saw him there; I wanted so badly to jump into his arms and tell him I was sorry for my hissy fit, once again.

"Good morning." I choked out, realizing he must have driven all night to get here. Kate must have given in and told him where momma's house was located.

"Morning? Yes. Good. No. May I come in or do I have to stand out here in this ungodly heat of a hundred and one at ten am in the morning?" His voice held emotion that was gruff and raw.

"Let him in Lexi May. Don't be rude." My momma shouted from behind me in the kitchen.

I stepped aside and held the door open all the way while a wide sweep of my hand serenaded him in, and a weak smile creased my face. My hands ached to touch him, my arms to wrap around him, but my heart felt sick that I might once again be hurt by a man whom I love.

"Care for some sweat tea?" My momma showed up out of nowhere with a tea in her hand and a smile on her face. "Hank? I imagine. Norma Jean. Lexi and Kate's mother. I have heard a lot about you. You are more handsome than I could have imagined. Come sit in front of the small ac unit in the kitchen. The main one went out years ago. I got one in the kitchen and one in my bedroom. Lexi here has been sweltering with just a small oscillating fan in front of the couch. You'd think she died and went to hell. I think she forgot how to tolerate our Texas heat." My mamma kept talking while she led him by the hand to the kitchen chair that sat directly in front of the small room ac unit.

As soon as he sat, he took another long sip of his sweet tea and looked at me long and hard. "Excuse me Miss Cardinal. I am pleased to meet you by the way. I just need to ask this question to Lexi real quick before I drop from exhaustion of driving all night. Lexi May, what did I do or say to make you bolt out of our life that we just built, that you left so fast? Why did you feel the need to shun me from our life altogether?"

The room grew quiet. The only sounds were that of the ac room units and the one oscillating fan that was directed towards the couch where I had pretty much been sitting on since the moment I arrived. If I was not sleeping on it, I was staring out the window wondering what to do with my life. When I finally spoke up, both my momma and Hank stared at me with dropped jaws.

"You don't love me; you just wanted to conquer and acquire me, just like Clyde, and just like all his friends who kept showing up at my work. I am done feeling like a possession. I need to be somebody, do something, and I don't need a man to do it." I felt the tears falling from my face as I stood leaning against the kitchen doorway staring at the man I fell in love with but felt he did not love me back. At least not in the way I needed him to, full commitment.

Momma spoke up without hesitation as Clyde stared at me with a pain in his eyes. "Well you don't need a man to do something or be someone but you sure do need people to love you. Lexi May, do you not feel loved? Because Kate and I have given you more love than that crappy man who left our life. Clyde might have started out loving you, but I think he was never right in the head in the first place and you certainly did not show him love back in the last few years. As far as Hank here, well I think the fact that the man came running after you on a thirteen hour drive just to find out what happened shows he's got some love for ya. As far as the rest of that life journey I need to be important stuff, that is your own doing."

I watched my mamma walk over and kiss me on the cheek as she took off her apron that she was wearing to cook some cherry cobbler for taking to work tonight. She gave me a tight hug and then squared my shoulders with her hands on my arms. "I love you darling, but you sure know how to throw one hell of a princess hissy fit. Now, I got some errands to run in this god awful heat. You give me your keys since your car's air conditioner works better than mine. Take that cobbler out when the timer goes off and above all else, talk to the man. I think he loves you."

As soon as my momma left, I looked him in the eyes as I watched him smile. What I heard next softened my tough resolve and tampered down my ill feelings about life in general. "I do love you Lexi May. I loved you the first moment that I laid eyes on you decked out in that black outfit and a look of control. I loved you the day you moved in and told me that I could get off my ass and help two women move and then told me not to, to then ask me to help. I loved you that night you came to the fence and kissed me senseless. God how I wanted to... well, never mind. Then after I finally convinced you to move in with me and be my roommate, and we spent that entire day together carefree and in love, I was a goner. I don't think I could ever love a woman the way I love you, but you tell me to go, and I am gone; I'm just not guaranteeing that I'll stop trying. I will be back time and again asking for another chance."

I broke out a weak smile and pushed off the kitchen doorway and took a step towards him, just as he got up from the chair he was sitting in. I love him; I do, but I need to be someone or something. Before I could take my next step, I was feet off the floor and spinning in his arms while his mouth met mine, and then we stopped to focus on our kiss. When he pulled away he spoke into my ear while his hands wrapped up in my hair. "I'll never stop loving you, and you are the most important person to me. You are my someone, my something that makes me want to smile every day and if that is not an important job, I don't know what else is. If you want more, just ask, and I will do everything in my power to get you there. In the meantime, Lexi May, please come home to me and don't ever leave."

I felt lost in his show of emotion mixed with the fact that he drove all the way here, but it wasn't what I really wanted to hear.

"Hank?" I paused as I felt him pull back to look into my eyes. "I don't want a let's see where this thing goes relationship. I want to know that we both want to work towards forever. I don't expect a ring or you to ask me to marry right away, but a much bigger commitment than roommates." I said it. I meant it, but was I pushing too far to get what I wanted? Would it have been better to wait until he asked me when he was ready? Then I realized I already had the upper hand. He had driven all the way here; he wanted me more than he realized.

With his hands in my hair, holding my face softly, while his eyes looked directly into mine, I heard what I needed to hear. "The moment I realized you were gone; I had never felt so lost or alone. I was scared of losing you. Worried I said something to upset you. I realized in that moment that my fear of being left alone while still in love with you, was greater than my fear of finally wanting to commit my life to that someone special that fills my heart with joy. God Lexi, I love you. I don't ever want to lose you. If my casual let see where this goes attitude got in the way, I am sorry. It isn't how I really feel. How I feel is forever with you. I will learn how to show it better. Hell, say it better. I guess I am as scared as you of being loved and then lost."

I did not get a chance to speak as his lips lowered to mine in a possessive kiss. Our lips tingled in a soft secure lock as his tongue pursued into mine. It was a tender slow kiss that held emotion from both of us. In this tender moment, we found ourselves pulling apart to turn and touch lips again. Sometimes pulling away to take a small tug at each other's lips. It was passion subdued, but emotion escalated. We were expressing our resolve in this tender moment of kissing.

When we finally pulled away, I took a step back and smiled seductively. "You want to taste some heaven?" I raised my eyebrows in a tease just as my momma's oven buzzer went off.

"I do but not at your moms. What do you have in mind?" He smiled with an inquisitive look on his face while whispering into my ear.

"Heather's fried chicken and biscuits, momma's homemade potato salad and for dessert, momma's freshly baked berry cobbler with ice cream."

I walked over to the oven, turned the oven temperature off and opened the door to pull out two nine by thirteen pans of cobbler. "Momma made one for me seeing as it's my favorite. The other one she is taking to work tonight.

"Does this mean you're coming home?" It wasn't the food that he wanted; it was me.

"It does. But first I want you to taste some home cooking. Then I am going to put you down for a good rest. When we wake up, I want us to spend a little time with momma tomorrow, she scheduled the day off. Then after a good night's rest, we'll drive back. But Hank? I meant that I want us working on a future, not a casual let's see. I have aspirations to make this new business you called my little thing, to be something big."

I pulled the second pan of cobbler out as I talked. When I was done closing the oven, I turned to see the pained look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I made it sound as if what you are doing is small and insignificant, but it isn't. It's going to be big. I think it's clever, and I should have made it sound like it was something grand. Sometimes I say stupid stuff. I'm a man, but I'm a man in love with you. You forgive me?"

I walked by him now sitting at the table, grazed a kiss on his lips, and then walked to the refrigerator to pull out leftovers to heat up. As I passed, I teasingly spoke out. "I'll let you make it up to me when we get home."

By the time we had to get to driving back, momma had us packed with a cooler of leftovers to take back, and Hank's promise that we will be here for Thanksgiving with Kate and Mike. I was glad that I decided to throw my little princess parade. Hank had fixed my mom's air conditioner in her main unit for the house and refilled the air in her car so it was colder. Lord he is good with his hands. I got several whispering promises about what a fool he had been not to want to make a future with me. It wasn't an engagement proposal but a new step towards what I wanted. Making me realize that working hard for what I want and speaking up was far better than having it handed to me when others felt like it.

So when we pulled up into our driveway, thirteen plus hours later, my car next to his in his cleaned out two car garage, I felt good with my decision. We were making steps in the right direction. It felt right to be back, and he made me realize that I was not just some object of affection he needed to conquer but a woman he fell in love with at first sight. We joked about how I finally recognized him from the Hilton and how I also thought about him if circumstances were different.

As soon as I got out of my car, I pointed at the garage. "When did you have time to do this?"

"As soon as I realized where you were, I moved everything around to make space for your car. I was bringing you back, and you are parking right next to me where you belong."

"Sweet gesture. Awfully confident in yourself." I teased.

"No. Just a guy in love with this great girl and an ambition not to give up." He wrapped his arms around me and lowered a possessive kiss that made it feel so good to be home.

Moments later we walked through the front door of our house. Hank dropped his keys in his black ceramic bowl as he looked over at me with tenderness. "It feels incredible to be home with you by my side." We shared a long drive home talking on our cell phones to each other while I followed him back home from my momma's. We stopped for gas and food, kissing each other for reassurance and then got back in our cars and drove on.

I knew Hank was exhausted, but I wanted to reassure him with my touch. I set my purse down next to his keys on his entry table and began to wrap my arms around him seductively. I had ideas in my head that told me he needed this. He had enough energy left in him to survive the sexual seduction I had planned in my mind. And then. He could sleep until his body was well rested. It was late, but he mentioned he did not have a single thing planned but getting me back home. Now that I was here, I knew it was time I showed him I was not just running away to figure out my feelings like Kate had told him, but that I was here now, to show the man that I love that our relationship is worth fighting for. He made the first step in coming after me, now I wanted to show him how our new home together feels.

The moment my hand led him to our bedroom; he knew what my intentions were. Tonight was about reconnecting and moving forward. The moment our naked bodies touched in unison, I heard his husky voice vibrated into my soul. "I'm glad we are home."

I knew our love was real. The word home sounded so comfortable and real, and that was what we had started making for ourselves. It might have started off as roommates and friends with an awful lot of teasing going on but the moment we shared each other's love; I knew there was so much more there than Clyde or I had ever shared. It was real. It was true, and it was love.

"I'm glad to be home."
Epilogue

The thirty one pink candles on the fondant cake made to look like matching purse and heels, flickered in the evening light. I had everyone I ever wanted, surrounding me. My momma was able to take a short vacation to visit. My aunt Heather came with to accompany her. My sister Kate with her newly married husband, Mike. Her boss, Alexandria, who became a huge buying and selling client and now one of my best friends. My new puppy Sparkles, which against Hanks better judgment on the name but I ignored him when he called him Sparky. And of course, Hank who was holding the cake with a soft glow of the candle light illuminating his handsome face. His wicked smile told me he was probably up to something but that something was most likely planned for later.

The romantic setting of soft white lights wrapped around the trees under the late summer's night set the scene for memories to remember forever. Hank had built a huge outdoor table from wood planks and sawhorses, while I had spent all last Saturday at garage sales to find enough unique wood chairs to go around. The wild flowers we picked in a field nearby last night, were nestled in white mason jars with tan raffia ribbon around the top. The light blue checker board print cloth, draped the entire length of the back country table. It was a reminder of both Hank and my roots of the country home town from where we came from. Long gone was the overdressed, over spent woman I had been with Clyde.

Right now, under the string of white lights, I felt so right in my own skin; I felt like I was home. Hank and I seemed to have fallen into a routine in over the past year as we drove back from mommas that day. I was busy with my new resale business after I got all of my old life sold off. When I wasn't busy doing that, I got my old place rented out for more than what I had paid Hank with just a few simple fixes both inside and out. We had bought a new property that needed some major work on it with big plans to fix it and flip it.

The happy birthday chorus being sung as Hank carried the cake made me feel so loved and accepted for who I had become. The moment everyone stopped singing, I took a deep breath and blew out the candles. I had not done something like this since I was a kid. It felt good to go back to the simple things in life.

As soon as Hank handed me the first slice of cake, I had a feeling that he was about to say something.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" He announced as he stood over me with one hand on my shoulder while standing next to my chair.

Everyone quieted their conversations to a silence and gave all their eyes to Hank.

"From the moment I set my eyes on you walking into the Hotel during my cousin's wedding, I told myself I am looking at the woman of my dreams. While living next to you has been entertaining to say the least, in this short time as your landlord and now your boyfriend, I could not imagine my life any other way. So..." He spoke the last word with a loud pronunciation and then got down on his knee as his right hand brought forward a small dark purple velvet box.

"Lexi May Cardinal, will you do me the honors of making me an honest man, a happy man, and will you be my wife?" The sentiment in his voice was wagering towards a short breath with choppiness. I could tell this was an emotional thing for him to offer considering all that he had been through with me.

I smiled while looking into the eyes of the man that I first saw that night at the hotel and wished that another time or place, and I would want to meet him. Now that I was here with him, watching him tenderly look at me while waiting on my answer, I could think of nothing that I wanted more.

"Yes!" I answered with excitement as I opened the box and saw the most elegant Victorian style silver ring with a small diamond.

"It's my grandmothers." He pronounced with pride as I pulled it out of the box and slipped it on my finger. It was a good fit, and it shined proudly on my finger as the voices of the people I love surrounded us with a congratulatory word.

I stood up at the same time he did, and we gave each other a quick kiss on the lips. As I went to pull back to look at everyone, he quickly pulled me in for a tight hug as he whispered into my ear those words of encouragement I heard often after we came back together from Texas with a desire to make it work. "Your time has come baby. It's your time to shine."

My heart elated from the support he showed me in the last year and now that I had everyone that meant the most to me surrounding me, I truly did feel as if I could conquer any problems that might come my way. With my mind more open to listening to the ones that love me, I realized that good things do come to those who lose their glitter once in a while. When I thought, my glittering life was gone for good, I needed to realize that another better life with true love was right there in front of me.

The End.

Other Available Books

Some women are born with Common Sense and an intuition that guides them through life unscathed, but not, Amber Jones. She was born a nice Catholic girl but found her rebellious calamitous way by making one mistake after another without much of a life lesson learned, however, that is all about to change. Or is it?

Often in life, you are given choices. One that is clear, concise, and common sense, the other one, well let's call him TROUBLE for short. You are given these choices to make your life easier as the happy caring gods are smiling down on you thinking, you go girl, here you are, your two choices; we know you will make the right one. Then the blue-sky turns an ominous steel gray full of thunderclouds and lightning begins to strike; gale-force winds begin to blow as you make the wrong choice. It's not like you saw all the warning signs. Blue sky to dark. Lightning. Gail force winds. But hey, if you always made the right choices, life would be one very boring highway. Doing what becomes oneself, doesn't always make common sense, but it sure makes life fun.

What does Amber Jones do when a man who seems perfect comes along just when she starts making one mistake after another? Perfection is the farthest thing from Amber Jones horizon. Sure, she has a great job, a nice body, hair that is manageable and a closet that she could brag about at a fraction of its cost due to her thrifty shopping techniques - what more could a woman want? A lot! What she does not have, at the almost ripe age of thirty, is a plan to set the next thirty years in motion without all the continuing chaos or drama that she likes to entertain her family and best friend Marion with.

With all intensive purpose of growing up and making something out of her life, Amber has diligently supplied herself with one of her famous plan of action lists. She wants to take college courses to appease her mom, without quitting her great job with benefits. She would like her boyfriend to take things just a bit more serious, and perhaps do some mature activities like volunteer work, versus spending her entire Sunday watching movie marathons after spending the entire Saturday night embarrassing herself at a karaoke bar.

All it took was one night, one very crazy chaotic drunken night on her part, to turn everything around. Depending on if, she is heading in the right direction when it all settles is up to Amber and her grown-up decisions, or does she find a way to muck it up again?

Lights, camera, quiet on the set please, and action. Jennifer Jones led her young life like some girl's dream of; dance classes, acting classes, private performance teachers. Where did that get her? With a degree in journalism, and the fact that she cannot catch a prime time break. She is left with only short clips and neurotic stories that may, or may not, get some airtime. Her not so glamorous career has shipped her out to some lonely mountain town to cover a news interest story on some whack that thinks he is the Star Ship Enterprise Captain. What she wants is that big news story that lands her in prime-time television, or is it? The minute she sets her baby blues on the son of said whack job, she is smitten with attraction. Can this back country mountain town steal her heart or will the next big news story draw her back into the spotlight?

This short story packs a full story plot with moments of enough romance to let your imagination go wild and plenty of heart-felt situations that have you cheering for a happy ending.

Some girls have all the luck, and I'm not one of them. I've gotten myself into some really sticky situations all my life, but this one beats them all. Who can say they had dinner with a dead man? Me. That's who. Add to that, I am currently unemployed and will take any measly bone a person might throw a dog. I am licking that dog bowl for odd jobs that pay cash, as I collect my unemployment check. All this, while trying to please my mother's need to marry me off before it's too late. Between blind dates, odd jobs while looking for a job, interviews with stellar type people - not, I wind up having dinner with a blind date to only be attending his funeral within a week's time.

When trouble strikes, Kia is there. If disaster is dealt, Kia holds the cards. If catastrophe is calling, Kia will answer it. All a girl needs to cope with all of this is her three best friends and maybe a handsome hero. Old Sheriff Cleat has had his fair share of bailing Kia out of trouble or coming to her rescue, but the last one has put him out of commission. There is a new Sheriff in town, and the local women are all a twitter - literally. Kia gets her first run-in with the handsome new sheriff just after she runs her car up a hillside while watching him jog without his shirt on. By the week's end, the new sheriff is beginning to think that Kia is either short for catastrophe, or she is trying to find ways to spend more time with him. Kia's best friends have spent a lifetime of dealing with Kia and her God-given attraction to trouble, but they also know Kia needs a man like the sheriff to keep her in line and bail her out once in a while. While Kia quickly becomes short on temper with the handsome hero, she isn't short on need and quickly realizes that having a man like the sheriff on her side isn't such a bad idea after all, but will the corner of Trouble and Catastrophe keep them apart?

Hollywood takes in Alabama, but not for long. One woman thought she wanted the glamorous life but what she got was a backstabbing best friend and her spot on prime-time television for the entire world to see. Back home, no one seemed to care that she had gone and screwed up her life, but there was one question on the tip of her own tongue that kept repeating itself. "Why'd you have to go a do a thing like that?" Not once did she see it coming, but when she went about making the same mistakes back home in Alabama, she knew she needed to get her wits about her. Only problem was, that the one man who mattered most might have decided she was too much drama to handle. It wasn't her fault that she was born with a magical drama disaster wand or was it? Could she learn to be the woman she was raised to be and let the man of her dreams know how much she loves him back, or is it too late, and he decides that loving her hurts too much to be rejected again? Sometimes a southern man knows that if you love someone, she is worth it all in the end. Can this starlet claim Sweet Home Alabama once again? Favorite quote that describes it all. "I was born with a tiara on my head and magical wand that created plumes of drama whenever I waved it."

Can one very feisty artistic woman find comfort and forgiveness in the arms of a man who killed to protect our country, serving as a Navy Seal? It takes a calm levelheaded man to face up to the attitude of one Natasha Kova, a famous artist; whose paintings sell for a price more than Sam Cole's Harley. Natasha's life did not start out easy, and her lack of trust was understandable but Sam Cole wanted nothing more than to love her and protect her. Would Natasha's jealousy and lack of trust push Sam away or would he follow through at the end and not leave a man behind to succumb to their own devices? The erotic passion these two feel could be the explosive device to end their relationship, or it could very well be the reason they find each other in their loving arms once again.

What happens when a book shy girl, grows up dreaming about her next-door neighborhood boy as her dream fantasy man to marry, then runs into him while trying to find her wild side. When Mary Catherine O'Reilly, Mary Cate to her friends, finally succumbs to her best friend's wishes to take her lifestyle up a notch, crazy and wild things happen. Crazy as in doing things a reserved kindergarten teacher would never think about doing, wild as in experiencing the best orgasms of her life with the man of her dreams in places she would never have thought possible. When one-man tugs at your fantasy heart strings for so long and then to have it happen for real, a girl can fall hard. Only one problem, when that man finally gets to fulfill his dreams of having her and is afraid to commit, he can find many ways to make her feel as if he just doesn't have the time now.

A wrench gets thrown in her plans to get wild and crazy for one summer, when her best friend who started all this, ups and marries a man she has only known for twenty-four hours in Vegas. What is even crazier is, the man her best friend marries, is her fantasy man's older brother. Planning a wedding, the demanding MIL insists on throwing, so that the marriage can be celebrated by the entire family causing irritations to rise. Mary Cate finds herself in a tug of war of emotions with the man of her dreams. Can one crazy fast planned wedding bring them together again or will Mary Cate decide she needs a man who can commit instead of finding ways to go around commitment?

Caribbean bound with her best friend until a sip of bad luck makes everything go foggy and dark. Next thing Katy Beck knows is that either her best friend is playing a bad joke, or she just stole her husband, her money and her looks. To make things worse, she just got dumped on the porch of an old run down shack in the middle of a mountain with only her beach bound attire.

Katy had a way of making the worse seem better and maybe a good guardian angel or two. As luck would have it, she was plopped right in the lap of one very hot war hero and famous journalist. However, life isn't always as easy as it seems and Katy wants to make sure she offers more back in her life then a set of DDs and a pretty smile.

With every trick of the trade, Sabrina left a trail of misery for Katy. However, that is nothing a good sense of humor and new friends can't take care of. Plus, a little shiny thing called gold doesn't hurt either.

Sidney Sampson had no idea that one fateful day; while doing fieldwork, investigating a dead officer's crime scene, her whole life would change. One man, who should be dead, flutters his eyelashes on her cheek. While Sidney squirms needlessly to get off the dead cop's body, from the recent bomb explosion that landed her there. What happens next is a total misunderstanding between them. The flutter of his lashes and the firm member of his anatomy told her that dead men don't blink twice.

Once a simple life and career, following the footsteps of her father who raised her alone, Sidney was more than ready for change. Her job as a police coroner wasn't her dream job, but it was where life led her while growing up without a mother. In fact, her whole life was in dire need of change. She wanted a better job, but had no idea what. She wanted more fun friends, but only ended up with dull boring friends. She wanted to find her feminine wiles along with a sex life, and all she has gotten lately was a kiss on the forehead after a blind date, and a boring closet filled with durable work khakis and brown comfortable work loafers.

Life is about to change for Sidney. Could she learn how to be her own woman, finding more purpose in life without falling head over heels in love with a man who is so wrong for her in so many ways?

Some girls just can't catch a break. One-minute Samoa Moore's life had reached a breaking point, and she just had to get away from the life that was dragging her down. The next minute one very hot war hero cop has her slammed up against his police cruiser, and she realizes her plan is not going accordingly. Her body's reaction immediately betrays her attitude of do it alone from here on out.

Officer Matt Bourne is no stranger to women the likes of Samoa. However, he can't help but want to do the honorable thing and protect her. Her irresistible sex appeal is too much for his do right attitude, and Matt's do right attitude makes Samoa realize that falling back on a man isn't so weak after all.

With Samoa's seedy past fast at her heels, will she get the second chance she deserves, all while falling in love with the man who saved her or will things fall apart once more?

When two young hearts experience their share of heartache, the last thing they want is to fall in love. Coming back home to take care of a parent with Alzheimer's is enough to make a man insane. Insane enough to fall for a woman that he can't take his mind off of. One that is only visiting his old hometown, that's just like Mayberry, to escape a past that hurt her. This relaxed laid-back town can't slow the pace of their fast beating hearts.

With a guarded heart and a knack for making the big corporate money, Jill Waltz was no stranger to going it alone. Then one crazy drunken night she is caught in several compromising positions with her married boss, and she knew her life was about to be turned upside down. First of which, she was to be shipped to the branch office in the middle of nowhere. Little did she know that the man that stole her heart ten years ago would show up in the same place to discover that their love never extinguished. Leaving her wondering if happily-ever-after does exist or will she mess up this second chance and hope that third times a charm.

Some suburban moms just can't catch a break. There is humor in raising kids, guinea pigs, soccer moms and Nutella. Toss in two new roommates to make ends meet, crazy daily chaos and a desire to have the green grass she once had, and you get a story about a mom that makes it all work out. A light, uplifting read, that any mom could easily relate to. Humor in all the right spots and just a touch of romance to give it all a happy ending.

This book is dedicated to all the moms in my life. We have laughed through the most diverse oddities and cried about the worst. We talk about our kids with hopes and wishes, and we complain about them like nobody's business. We are the most important people in our family's lives, yet we are often the most under appreciated. This book is to you. May you remember that the grass IS NOT always greener on the other side.

Metaphorically speaking, we as women are our own worse critics. We need these things, so we can look in the mirror to say, 'ah, my grass is looking pretty green'. If it takes a box of hair color, a new outfit or to shed a few pounds to make the grass seem green, then so be it. However, Maybelline Briggs isn't looking for the Holy Grail of Eternal Youth, just a way to get back on her feet through all the chaos.

Light hearty funny mystery with quirky characters and laughable discretions. Chick Lit General Audience meets Funny Mystery.

Sometimes luck gets turned around, so what does a gal have to do in this town to get it back? Fired from her secret government job seemed like the tip of the iceberg in her streak of bad luck. However, that was nothing compared to the business of leprechauns, frozen bank accounts, credit cards, and having to drive an eighty's green Gremlin car around town.

With the luck of the Irish on her side, Katie McAllister, endures a calamity of eccentricity to get her luck back while solving the mystery of the leprechaun. With the help of old friends and new, and a very adorable white puppy, she not only gets her luck back; she finds the man that almost got away.

This quirky chick lit mystery will have you smiling or shaking your head in disbelief at every chapter. In the end, you'll be quoting the Irish.

The corporate world has an unwritten set of rules that could make it is easy to be caught up in the intrigue of it all, while trying to make your way to the top. Jennifer Everest knew that setting standards for herself that some might seem as extreme also fought against her nature of something else. Then along comes an attraction that is so strong it is hard to ignore, and she wants to break all those rules. Can one woman who dominates in the boardroom and bedroom, allow herself to be submissive to a man in order to get what they both want in the end? Steamy Novella.

The road home can be lonely but once Mindy McKinley pulled into town; her heart felt like it was right where she belonged. With a baby in her belly and a whole lotta 'I've done and grown up' attitude, the last thing this starlet needs is a cowboy in her life to muck it up a bit.

Once star struck, now love struck, Mindy keeps on telling herself that the next kiss will be the last. How can one handsome cowboy be so perfect at such a time that it would be best not to have a man in her life?

Baggage was something Mindy knew she had, from being a youthful rebel rouser always finding trouble, to the daughter of a single mom who could be the talk of the town herself sometimes as well, to running away from home at too young of an age to seek the brighter lights of stardom. That is until her perfect number one cowboy has a few surprises of his own to carry along; Mindy's mind is made up. The last thing she needs is to deal with someone else's problems.

Then again, maybe a nudge from the man up above, was the reason she was here. It was not so much about her needing family in her soon to be motherhood life, but perhaps the people around her that she loved, needed her more than she ever could have imagined.

Life can be a tricky thing when you think you have it all figured out, but once you turn onto that long and lonely road home, there ain't nothing better than some down-home country romance for general audience.

Book and Author Information

About the cover. I sometimes feel as if I nail a cover to match the type of book I have written and the cover will inspire readers to buy and read my book. Other times, well, I end up changing the covers several times even after being published. I did this a lot in the beginning. For some reason, on this book, the title and cover ideas kept changing. Being an independent author, I can often struggle with this. It's like being a designer. You can design other people's homes and decorate them beautifully, but when it comes to your own, you stumble. I hear this a lot from creative people.

This cover, I wanted it to say contemporary chick lit romance. The image that I finally selected felt that I depicted the storyline. I hope I don't change my mind. It's kind of like hitting the shoe sale for boots in the fall. Do I want the black ones or brown ones, high thin heel or thick solid tough girl heel?

I had wanted to go with a bright sparkly background and just words, but felt that wasn't romantic enough. Then I found a black and gold sparkly image and thought, yes; that's it. Nope. I changed my mind. When I finally saw this image, bought it from Big Stock and made a few Photoshop changes, I realized this was it.

When they say you can't judge a book by its cover, they were not talking about the publishing industry. It has made success or failure with some of my books in the beginning. I hope this is a fun contemporary romance read with just the right amount of chick lit romance to make you smile and cheer, hooray; she finally got it!

About the book. What's your Glitter? Your back-up plan? All that glitters is not gold. Your glitter might be pink with sparkles, rainbow with bubbles, or just a perfect glass of wine. When all goes awry, do you sit and pout? Or, are you the strong woman I know you can be? You will find that glittering rainbow that slides down a crazy loop to a pot of gold. You will ride it like a wild horse between your legs while screaming yee-haw. Every chick's life has a moment of glitter gone, or 'oh shit, what now', and 'why the hell did I not plan for that'. It does not make us the weaker sex; it just lets us take that moment to regroup, buff up and shine again. If you know a woman in need, put on your sisterhood cape and make something good happen. We are all in this floatable boat together. We'll just get there faster if we all take an oar and ROW!

All That Glitters had several different titles before publishing. What book doesn't? Right? This book just could not finagle a true title until I was completely done writing it, while other books of mine, well the title was there from start to finish, holding strong to the words that describe the book.

I love writing whimsical chick lit love stories with heated romance moments. Sometimes my characters in my books are corny and crazy with a good sense of fashion or at least looks to get them by. Most of them are a relatable women, but this book's main character was formed with some aggravation. If I really knew someone like Lexi May, I would have smacked her upside the back of her head and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you girl?" Seriously. I personally never had an unlimited budget to shop for designer clothes that were worth selling to live off, but there are some women out there that do. Yeah for them! What I do have from experience that I included in this book is the fact that many years ago, I owned my own small resale consignment shop. It was successful by year one, but by year two, I had my first son, my husband got promoted to management, and I realized that the consignment resale biz for women's clothing was not what I had expected it to be. Live and learn, it was fun while it lasted.

Over the years, I have had many backup plans in action. I've EBayed, Craigslisted, resaled, garage saled, pawn shopped, and done a lot of contract labor jobs in the advertising and secretarial field. Publishing stories was not my backup plan, but a whimsical creative outlet to my working life. Writing stories was one of those things you start to do, like scrapbooking, and then become overly engrossed in while spending all your spare time doing it as a hobby. My writing is my hobby that I love to do. It pays a residual income, but has so many ugh-shit moments, that with every next book published, I have to look in the mirror and ask myself... "Do you really want to go through that again?"

Now, I own an S-Corp business with my husband. We are knees deep in our first full year of business and moving on to year two. We are the rare couple that actually love working together every day. I was warned with horror stories, but we both knew we could make it work.

I've lived my fair share of backup plans to have enough know how to make that bit of extra cash when something glittery shines my way. Writing has put a shine in my soul and glitter in my bank. I am thankful I found this hobby. I did not grow up saying I want to be a writer, but I did grow up saying; I want to make lots of money. Now that I am really grown up, mentally that is, I just want to do things that make me and the others I love happy. Writing keeps me from smacking overly dramatic girlfriends upside the back of their head with nasty comments. It keeps me sane in a world of teens and business responsibility. If it gives my readers a moment away from the everyday life, then that too is something I am glad to do.

Read On! My chickadees! Find that easy button and press it! Grab at the glitter and pocket your backup plan for later, but most importantly be a part of the sisterhood movement to support your fellow females.

Another added note to my readers – You wrote, and I listened. I try to read comments as time prevails. On all free books, I disregard nasty comments because they always seem to come from those that chastise all free books as we can see what other comments you leave for other readers. On constructive comments, often I agreed. I need more editing, more refinement, perhaps a bit more wording. Although, I am known for my novellas, I like to read quick short stories. I do understand the ache you feel when you fell in love with a character, and the book was over. How freaking frustrating? Right? Tee-Hee. Please remember I am an independent published hobbyist. I don't have the big guns like publishing houses, and often I have other stories tugging at my brain to type out while trying to edit the one I just wrote. So frustrating, I tell ya.

I started writing back in 2010 and put out my first publication in 2011. My writing has vastly changed since then. I do feel, however, that I have gotten better with some newer books but also lost a bit of my earlier style that I feel was well received in the beginning. There were several life-altering changes in my life that was behind a bit of that. I do realize that I am not a one style type of gal. I have many different writing styles that come out in each new book. My first person, goofy girl style, comes out in most books. Some with a bit more smiles, while others have a lot more heat.... Which, by the way, I have caught heat for writing romance. That baffles me. But what are you going to do. People react the way they do; I can't change them, only change the way I react to them.

I like romance, girly chick flick movies, with falling in love and lots of silly girly notions. I love to read books that make me love and hate the characters. I like characters with flaws. Blonde, big boobed, goofy life decision-makers and lessons to learn. Oh wait, that's me! Not that being blonde or big boobed is flawed but come on, life treats you differently when you are – good and bad.

I am not my characters, why people always think writers are their characters is beyond me. I might, however, toss in a few life experiences of my own or of those I know. Please, you cannot sit and blab your entire life's dysfunction to a writer and not expect them to keep the correlation of that experience out of their writing. I am very observant of others and that is where so many of my characters come from. Hello, you can't be steamy dreamy gorgeous and walk by me or have a conversation near me without me forming you into a character for my next book. Sorry gorgeous eyes and guns of steel, this is what you get for walking my green earth with your gorgeous body.

I have had the pleasure of being friends with so many great women in my life that often some of their finer qualities come out in my characters. Those are the women whom I might not tell as often as they need to hear that I commend them for everything they do. I recognize their incredible character and therefore, I must use them in one of my books.

I must admit; I never thought I would be a creative writer trying to publish books. However, this cult of independent publishing sucked me into their world and allowed me the opportunity to churn out these character plots of fictional business in my head. Now, I feel brainwashed to get all these stories out to readers like you so that you can have that moment away to smile. My moment. It comes when the story is done, and I felt relieved to move onto the next story. At times, I feel I have a sickness for stories that must be told. Some of those stories have hit my personal scrap pile leaving me wondering if someone snuck some pot into the PTA bake sale brownies. What the heck was I thinking?

Seriously though, I would not have continued to do this without support of my husband and kids. They have been the best in all of this while the money has not. Most independent writers don't take home much, especially when some of the big boys only want to pay us is less than 40% on each book sale. I have received enough money to make me want to spend some of my free time writing. Otherwise, I think I might write and never publish. Now that would be sad if a person did that. It's freeing to release a newly written book out onto the world for others to enjoy.

In a perfect world, I would be sipping flavored hot coffee with lots of cream, at my quaint desk with a waterfront view, while my fingers churned out novels that made people smile. All the while, I spent my money on someone to cook, clean, and chauffeur me around. Now that would be grand.

Until next time, my friends, keep calm and read a book! CJ Hawk

Legal Information

Let me start off by saying; I love shoes. This character needed to reference some of the best named shoes in order to help the reader visualize the shoes she was wearing. Nothing negative about any of the shoes listed. No shoes were harmed in the making of this book, perhaps overly glorified on a well-lit shelf, but ready for a night out on the town. All shoe brand names have a registered trademark and were respectively a reference in their referral in this book. This is a fictional story with no reference to real people or places. Any similar names are strictly coincidental and have been created in the author's mind purely for fun or reference. Every character created is from the author's imagination; every place or name created is to give the reader a mental image of where the story takes place. If the story lists an actual person, place or thing, all information in the story is purely reference or to give the reader a mental idea about the location but does not in any way dictate the true nature of that area. Any reference in a story by this author that could be seen as prejudice is not a true semblance of the author's ideals, it is strictly to create a character in the story and allows the reader an idea of how that character might think or feel. The author holds all rights on distribution and pricing. If a book is offered for free for a promotional period, it will not remain at that price. Some books may be grouped together for a lowered price for the readers. If you found this eBook on a non-reputable sight other than well-known ereaders, please contact the writer with the location of where you bought it, as it is an illegal copy or do the right thing and purchase my book from any reputable site.

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