DingDong: "You gotta kill the ambushers"
Ryan: "Uhh where are they"
Matt: "You got 38 seconds to kill the ambushers"
Ryan: "aaAHH"
DingDong: "4X ambush"
Matt: "You haven't died yet, right?"
All: *laughing at Ryan shooting Tony*
Matt: "No! Tony's not the enemy!"
Julian: "ya sure?"
Matt: "How does he take all this damage?"
Ryan: "aAH!"
Ryan "Fuck.."
Matt giggling: "Did you see 50's face?"
Matt *imitating 50 Cent*: "Ohh God.."
Matt: "Looks like he has shell-shock right now"
Julian: "Oh yeah, he looks really nervous!"
Matt: "He was just in an explosion, too"
Matt: "He's getting shot, too, by the way, and he's perfectly fine"
*burp*
"Be ba bop bada bo"
Matt: "Scat-man John."
DingDong: "This ain't no 90's"
Ryan *in a grave voice*: "This ain't no 90's.."
Matt: "Why did he actually go by Scat-man John?"
Ryan *softy*: "Because he liked to shit" Julian: "Because he liked to poop!" DingDong: "Because he did- Oh my god"
Julian: "He like the poopy!"
DingDong *sighs sadly*: "No, he does scat.."
Ryan: "UH OH"
Julian: "Did he die from cancer?" "he died"
Ryan: "Do you think I can survive?"
Julian: "Ummmm I don't fuckin know"
Matt: "Uhhh It took like half your health... its fine though"
Tony: "GET DOWN MAN GET DOWN!"
*All laughing* Ryan: "Haha what?"
Matt: "Oh man, I love Tony Yayo's just like random things he says"
Tony: "I'm Hit! I'm Hit!"
Matt: "Oh you passed the poster!" DingDong: "THE POSTER!"
Ryan: "I'm gonna get it. Hold on."
Ryan: "FUCK"
DingDong: "Awe shit!"
Matt: "Aoh no..okay"
Ryan: "Got it"
Matt: "Okay, you got it"
Ryan *in an airy, higher voice*: "Uh"
Matt: "Why are you collecting- why are there just posters up around the Middle East that you just collect?"
Julian: "Because hes a collector! He's gonna put them up when he goes home"
Matt imitating 50 Cent: "Ima put these in my room"
Julian: "He's a- Its how some people cor-correc-correct- some people collect uh civil war stuff"
Matt: "Why uhh.. do you collect civil war stuff Julian?"
Julian: "I don't"
Matt: "Would you have been on the confederate side?"
Julian: "I do not have a giant confederate flag hanging over my bed"
Matt: "I knew people that had confederate flags...
In fact when I was in college um the person in the room above me when you were on the street
and you looked up at their window, they just had a massive confederate flag in their window."
Julian: "Ya know there was actually- this was originally a Civil War game?"
*All giggle*
Matt: "Shoot all the terrorists 50"
Ryan: "Got em"
*incoherent yelling/groaning*
Matt: "Why are we sending the troops over to Syria to fight ISIS? Why don't we just send uh Tony Yayo and 50 Cent" *comedic sound files play as 50 beats up the enemy*
Julian: "Oh- Omph- Oh don't zonk me- Oooh!"
DingDong: "Yeah, it kinda looks like a three stooges doesn't it?"
Matt *laughing*: "Yeah it does"
Julian: "What if he poked him in the eyes?" "BOINK"
Matt: "With his two fingers- takes his two fingers-"
*unintelligible sounds*
Ryan: "The guys should shave their heads afterwards just blehehuhhuha
*more unintelligible sounds* "bubububblubububu
DingDong: "Get over here! Poke him in the eyes!"
Matt: "He punches him and his head spins around like-" *weird spiny sound*
*burp*
DingDong: "Do you think his name is supposed to be N-word and they changed it to Anwar?
*all laugh/giggle* Matt: "Anwar..."
Matt: "I love all the objectives in this game. I've seen two so far. One was 'cross the street' and one was 'find the exit' "
Matt: "Where we going now?"
DingDong: "He broke the G-Spot"
Julian: "Do you think it would be- do you think it would be a disaster if there was an actual rapper whose name was N-word?"
Matt: "Yes."
Matt: "Wha-wha-whats happening with the story? It seems like you're just going through-"
Ryan: "We- we're fighting terrorists! What else do you need?"
Julian: "When you're shot at, you have to keep moving"
Matt: "Who took the skull though? Anwar?"
Ryan: "No, the hot little lady person"
DingDong: "The Russian lady from the movie"
Matt: "Was this a movie?"
DingDong: "Ivana Spankoff"
Matt: "Is this-"
Ryan: "Uh oh guys"
Tony: "Yo fifty, check it out. There goes a payphone."
*All laugh at Tony*
Julian: "Oh wow, you're right Tony! Technology is amazing!"
Matt: "Hah- there goes a payphone- It's runnin away! Catch it!"
Matt: "Oh you can buy new taunts, look, and you can get-"
Ryan: "I have 85,000!"
matt: "And you can get different levels of profanity, braggin', and triple X"
DingDong: "Go for braggin' "
Ryan: "Where's braggin'?"
DingDong: "Oh you gotta capitalize on the triple X factor"
Ryan: "Where's that?"
Matt: "You can get the most expensive taunt"
Ryan: "Where? This?"
Matt: "The 50,000 one"
Ryan inhales sharply: "Yeah"
Matt: "Yeah, get it"
DingDong: "OOH I GET IT 50,000- like 50 Cent"
Ryan: "Yes"
Matt: "Yeah?'
Ryan: "Yes"
Matt: "Oh no! The air raids!" *laughing as alarms blare*
Ryan: "Where am I supposed to go?"
Julian: "The submarine is sinking!"
DingDong: "Thats the sound it makes in the game, remember?"
Matt: No, yeah that sound is in the game"
DingDong: "Yeah, every time there's an objective"
Matt *alarms still blaring* : "It does the apple loop sound from iMovie"
Matt: "Whoa"
Julian: "Wow"
*imitating groans from Tony*
Ryan: "oh OH"
Julian imitating Tony: "You dislocated my arm"
Ryan: "Got it"
Matt: "You got 205, you haven't gotten above uh 2 yet though"
DingDong: "You gotta max out your scare meter"
Ryan: "I'm gonna do it" *Matt laughing*
Matt: "Boo! They all go running"
Julian: "To-Tony ge-get over here. Whoa! Whoa 50.."
Matt: "Whoa, that's the objective"
Ryan: "That's the strip club! The tip just did a little sparkle... Look at it!"
Matt: "Yeah it sparkles"
Ryan: "The nipple sparkles"
Matt: "Destroy the tank, destroy the tank"
DingDong: "Tricked out tank"
Matt: "No, you gotta C4 it, you still have the C4 Raul gave you"
Ryan: "I know, I gotta-" DingDong: "Just walk up to it and punch it!" Ryan:" I gotta go. Hold on!"
Ryan: "How do I get DOWN!"
Matt: "One of those cut scenes like whuh"
DingDong: "You gotta get up to get down!"
Ryan: "What do you mean I gotta get up to get down?!"
Julian: "It's uh one of his song lyrics, right?"
Matt: "Its 50 cent"
Julian: "Yeah"
Ryan: "Do I push this out of the way-?"
Matt: "Yeah you gotta push the-"
Ryan: "The stairs are over there"
Matt: "That's a good rhyme"
DingDong: "Did they say who's gotta fuck this man?"
Matt: "Did 50 cent write th-what?"
DingDong *Julian and Matt laughing*: "I heard Tony Yayo shout that out"
Matt *imitating Tony*:"YO who's gonna fuck this man?!" *laughing*
Matt: "Oo! Gahh!
Ryan: "Got em"
Julian: "You feel over"
Matt: "I love the zoom-in's like after you- after you kill him in zooms in- zooms in on 50 to just be like "Yeah" "
Julian: "Are you yelling at them to get down after you shoot them?"
Matt imitating 50: "Get up!"
DingDong: "Get down!"
Ryan: "OH!"
Julian: "You don't be safe there on the floor"
Chris in background: "FOODS HERE!"
Matt: "Foods here!"
Julian: "Foods here?"
Ryan: "Foods here- we gotta-"
DingDong: "Wait get in the cement mixer! Its on the left!"
Matt: "Ryan you have 7 seconds to destroy the tank!"
DingDong: "There turn into-"
Ryan: "What? NONONONO! FUCK- NO!" Julian: "Are you saying you want to give up cement shoes?"
Ryan: "Fuck! I didn't know there was a time!"
Matt: "Dammit"
DingDong: "It's alright"
Matt: "Just get to the strip club now"
DingDong: "Yeah, just walk past it"
Matt: "No, you can still C4 the tank. The tank is just aimed right at you"
Ryan in a goofy voice: "Where is he? Huh?"
Ryan: "Got em"
Julian: "Wow"
Matt: "Now get to that strip club"
DingDong imitating 50 cent: "Tony you see that shit? It went kablooey"
Matt imitating 50 cent: "Tony that was pretty cool"
DingDong: "Looks there's a naked lady on the side!"
Ryan: "If I shot the nipple- I was seeing if I could get an achievement
Matt: "Because the little sparkle?"
Ryan: "yeah"
Matt: "They Ton-Tony get the foreign aid over here!"
Ryan: "Because in Resident Evil V when things sparkle they're jewels and you can get them and buy things"
DingDong: "If you shoot at her breast, what if a giant boob came out of it?"
Ryan: "Phtttttt Whoow!"
Julian: "I picture it like an ill bleed scare
Matt: "Alright"
Julian: "Like it uh clips through"
Matt: "Oh, hello!"
DingDong: "Mama!"
Matt: "Mama mia"
Ryan: "Pizzeria, now ya gotta suck my weena
Matt: "what?"
DingDong: "Thats a 50 cent song" *all laughing*
Matt: "Mama mia pizzeria" DingDong: "Where's your boss, bitch?"
Julian: "Oh my god did he call her a bitch?"
DingDong: "Yeah he did"
Matt: "I need to speak to your manager"
Matt: "Wait what the fuck they're talking about heroine now"
Matt: "Well it went from like heroine- wait it went from the skull stuff-"
Ryan: "And liquor"
Matt: "It went from 10 million to the skull to-"
DingDong: "Also he's drinking now"
Ryan: "Oh somethings about to go down"
Julian: "Oh no"
Matt: "Oh no"
DingDong: "This poor man, he's just trying to make an honest living. He's gonna get shot at"
Julian: "Thats the one guy from Reno 911"
Matt: "Lieutenant Dangle"
Ryan: "Well we'll- gotta go eat!"
*intense music plays*
DingDong: "We're back."
Ryan: "Here we are"
DingDong: "Rolling start!"
Matt: "Whoa, Mr. Fifty, it's vital you stay with the convoy"
Matt: "Alright Ryan stay with the convoy"
Ryan: "Oh shit.. wait is this- which one's drive? Oh wait"
Matt: "oh shit" Ryan: "got it"
Matt: "alright, is that Tony Yayo up top with the gun?"
DingDong: "My car go off"
Matt: "I love games when you can just knock over the street lights"
Matt: "New objective! Take a detour"
Ryan: "Got em- oh"
DingDong: "Yikes!"
Everyone: "Whoa!"
Ryan: "Whooooa!"
Matt: "Is that the detour?"
Ryan: "Yes"
Julian: "Is that what your supposed to- oh no"
DingDong: "Yikes!" Julian: "Civilians!"
DingDong: "Ay caramba!" *all laughing*
*all laughing*
Matt: "Egad!"
DingDong: "Gadzooks!" *Matt laughing*
Ryan: "All these cardboard boxes. They're throwing them from the roof"
DingDong: "Lets stop them!"
Matt: "The Middle East is known for their cardboard boxes
Ryan: "Whoops"
Matt: "New objective locate- how far away are you from the convoy?"
Ryan: "God damn"
DingDong: "Who left all these boxes here?"
Ryan: "Uh oh!"
Matt: "Whoa! Big ass ramp!"
*All yelling* "OOOOOOH"
DingDong: "Oh!"
Julian: "That was one big ass ramp"
Matt: "I can't believe that was an objective"
imitating Tony: "Yo! jump over that big ass ramp!
DingDong: "Watch out for the running man!"
Ryan: "Did it actually say jump over that big ass ramp?
Julian: "It did" Matt: "Yeah"
Matt: "Tony Yayo said Yo, jump over that big ass ramp"
Ryan: "Oh I thought that would be like a mission thing that you'd have to-"
DingDong: "Look at all these bouncing boxes"
Matt: "New Objective: Catch up to the convoy"
Ryan: "I don't remember so- FUCK!"
DingDong: "Whoa you got clocked!"
Ryan: "I don't remember- I don't remember so many fucking boxes"
Matt: "I don't remember either"
DingDong: "This place was all fucked up- Bumper car boom"
Ryan: "I thought it said car go boom for a second
DingDong: "Watch out for the bumper cars"
Matt laughing: "Bumper car boom"
DingDong imitating Tony: "Yo Fifty watch out for the bumper cars!"
Matt: "Evade explosive trucks- *yells*"
Ryan: "More boxes"
Matt: "Why are there just massive cardboard boxes- look they're just laying around"
Julian: "They're empty too"
Ryan: "There's just people living in them"
Julian laughing: "Yeah these are the little houses"
DingDong: "President Obama how do you feel about bumper car boom issue in the Middle East?"
Matt imitating Obama: "Um. No comment. As of this point, no- I cannot comment on the bumper car boom thats taking place in the middle east... in zuckerstan"
Matt imitating Obama: "However, we have two of America's finest on the job. We got Curtis James Jackson and Tony Yayo"
Matt: "God how do you guys- you have infinite health in this game"
Ryan: "Yeah?"
Matt: "I remember the last time we recorded it, it was impossible for you to die"
Matt: "You could kill like 500 people before you even took a little bit of damage"
*All laughing at crash*
Matt: "Oh nice, Whoa!"
Julian: "Its because 50 cent was like, Why do I keep dying in this game?"
DingDong: "I'm supposed to be bulletproof god damn it!"
Matt: "Oh yeah I bet- I bet like-"
DingDong: "That's what the first one's called, bulletproof"
Matt: "He tested the game- he tested the game and he died and he's just like "What the fuck?!" "
DingDong: "This wouldn't happen in real life!"
Matt: "So he makes it impossible for him to die"
DingDong imitating production team: "Were sorry curtis" imitating 50 cent: "Dont CALL ME THAT!"
Matt imitating 50 cent: "You can only call me that if you know me!"
Julian: "Check out that texture"
Ryan: "Whoo!"
Matt laughing: "The textures- yeah"
DingDong: "Tony Hold up! The textures aren't loaded!"
Matt: "Give it a second"
Ryan: "Is this gonna be a detailed hole in the wall?"
Matt: "Wait for it"
Together: "There we go"
Julian: "Wow"
DingDong imitating 50 cent: "Yo Anwar, I'm gonna have to call you back, the textures haven't loaded"
*matt laughing*
Matt: "penetrate the perimeter on foot- that's the new objective"
Ryan: "I remember this one"
Matt: "Do you?"
*all laughing*
Matt: "What?!"
Ryan: "Are they falling out of windows and everything
Ryan: "They're the most- they're the most like clumsy like acne incorporated villains I've ever fucking seen"
Matt: "All their shirts say 'Acne Incorporated' on it"
DingDong *softly*: "Karma's a bitch in 30 seconds"
Matt: "Kill all reinforcement clauses"
*laughing*
Matt: "This is probably coming out in January"
Ryan: "Ho-oly night!"
Ryan: "waaAAAAA"
*laughing*
DingDong: "Lots of fright!"
Ryan: "Do I have a grenade? Yeah, I have a grenades! I forgot"
Ryan: "Whoo!..WHOO!"
Matt: "Nice dude did- you had fire-y ammo last time, right?"
Ryan: "Incindiery ammo, thank you"
Julian: "He just got shot by a fucking rocket"
DingDong: "He just took a rocket to the face and he didn't even flinch"
Matt: "And he barely took any health for it"
Matt: "I remember um my little cousins were at my house once and a
Julian: "He just took a rocket to the face"
Matt: "I just remember they told me they were learning how to program and they could make games"
Matt: "And they sat down on my computer and they opened a text document and they typed 'f b fireballs space jump' "
Matt: "and then it didn't work and they freaked-"
Julian: "What?"
Matt: "Yeah, no true story"
Ryan: "f b fireballs?"
Matt: "They typed 'f b fireballs' "
Ryan: "Why?"
Matt: "because I guess they thought that was- they were trying to impress me"
Julian: "f b stands for fireballs"
Matt: "Ryan, don't you know programming? f b fireball!"
Ryan: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not- I'm not caught up"
DingDong: "If ' f b' equals fireball then Tony Yayo is real cool"
*laughing*
Matt: "Ya know, somewhere in this game in the code is says 'f b fireballs'
DingDong: "Somewhere in the code it says 'Tony Yayo is really cool' "
Matt: "Oh poster! It had Abe Lincon on it"
Ryan: "Where?"
"turn around"
Julian: "He's a great emancipator"
Ryan: "Ahhhhh yeah.. That's Abe Lincon"
*laughing*
Ryan: "That looks like an orc from Lord of the Rings"
*laughing*
