

### A Life Of No Return?

Brin Surnam

Copyright © 2015 Brin Surnam

All rights reserved.

Distributed by Smashwords

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Editor Laurean Brooks

Cover design by Miss Mae

Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

### I dedicate this book to;

To Kavya and Kaviraay, my reason to live, my children, my strength and faith

To my sister Arina for her unflinching belief in me.

To Sangam, we were supposed to do this together.

### I would like to thank

My parents, brothers, nephews and nieces for their unconditional love and protection.

My aunts, uncles and cousins for their affection and support

My friends who are my pillars and never let me fail.

Laurean Brooks, my Editor and who mothered me through the book.

Miss Mae for giving me a lovely cover.

My teachers, mentors and guardian angels, who hovered around me knowingly, unknowingly, helping me reach my goal.

To each and every one who is part of my life, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Table of Contents

Preface

Prologue

Part 1

Chapter One - The Awakening

Chapter Two - The First Confrontation

Chapter Three - The family settles

Chapter Four - The Past Revisited

Chapter Five - The Past: After the Accident

Part 2

Chapter Six - Rhia in her own home.

Chapter Seven - The Second Confrontation

Chapter Eight - Roy Acts

Chapter Nine - The Adventure Begins

Chapter Ten - The Terrible Two's

Chapter Eleven - Changes, Changes, Changes

Chapter Twelve - A Stranger Intrudes.

Chapter Thirteen - Ray's wake-up call

Chapter Fourteen - The wife confronts the mistress.

Chapter Fifteen - Rhia's Choice

Epilogue - A Life Of No Return?

# Preface

This is an unusual book. I have made no mention of the surnames of the characters, their religious affiliations, or their geographical locations. There is no mention of festivals and cultural indications. There is also hardly any clue of the characters physical description. Their names are cross cultural.

The reason is simple. I want, you the reader, to place the characters in your context, your country, your culture, your religious denomination.

I believe in one world, I believe in unity in diversity, I believe that core values and emotions are the common denominator that unifies the human race.

"A Life Of No Return?" is a story close to my heart and from my heart. A story of a woman who has her life stolen twice, once by her husband's infidelity, then time.

Mistakes, regrets, and retributions....will they regain their happiness?

# Prologue

The soft ringing hummed in Rhia's ears disturbing her sleep. When she tried to lift her hand to buzz it off, it would not move. Oh God! Was she so tired that she could not even move a hand? Her heavy eyelids would not open. Her body seemed pinned to the hard bed. Wait! Where was she?

This was not her bed. Her bed was soft and cuddly with lots of pillows tossed about. Okay, Neil, her darling husband, did not like that; but she liked the feel of softness all around her. Freud would have found a psychological reason for this habit, but she had her own pet theory. As a small child, Rhia's plump grandma cuddled her to sleep for years inculcating in her a love for softness. Since she'd married Neil, she adored snuggling down under the covers surrounded by pillows on one side and the man she loved on the other.

Rhia pushed her foot forward, toes crawling searching for Neil's calf; he never woke up before her. Her toes met with....nothing except the cold bed sheet on his side. Something was definitely wrong.

Noises, yes what were these noises? Was she having a nightmare? She tried again to open her eyes and move her hands. Why was it so difficult to move? She opened her mouth to call out, but gagged, instead. Oh Lord, what was happening?

The room spun around and around. Then she blacked out.

# Part 1
# Chapter One

### The Awakening

_It must be time to wake up, prepare for the day_. The house is silent. As usual, she will have to wake up first and bully everybody else out of bed. How she hated it!

_Why can't Neil wake up first, for once?_ _Why is it always me, me, and me?_

Rhia stretched out slowly at first, no need to brutalise her body. She heard ... oh no! Someone stood next to her whispering, but she could not identify the voice. She froze.

"Burglars!" She tried to scream but only a squeak came out. Voices began to yell as she thrashed around kicking and screaming for Neil. She was too scared to open her eyes. What was happening? Strong hands pinned her to the bed which she knew now, was definitely not hers. Then a voice whispered in her ear.

"Ma."

Rhia stopped struggling, turned her head towards the voice, and managed to open her eyes. Next to her sat a stranger with tears running down her cheeks. Rhia blinked. The woman looked familiar and yet unfamiliar. She kept repeating, "Ma, Ma, Ma."

The pleading tone in the crying person's voice touched Rhia. She wished she could stop her tears; however one part of her kept aloof. At thirty-seven, Rhia was too young to be this crying woman's mum. This woman appeared to be in her thirties.

Rhia was confused now and totally disoriented, lost. In these times she needed Neil. She turned her head to look for him. Even without her specs she could always recognize her family from afar. After scanning the room she realized Neil was not present in the sea of faces before her.

Her father-in-law was here but where was Neil? Another stranger stood beside her—no, not a stranger. Strangely, he looked like Neil, only too young to be him. Where was she? Who were these people? Why was her father-in-law here?

Wait! He passed away last year. Was she...dead, too? The hands holding her down now loosened their grips, then slid away. Her father-in-law caressed her toes over the covers... tenderly. The room spun again. What was happening? She struggled not to faint.

Rhia twisted and turned on the bed, the covers tangled around her...... okay, okay, this was not.... No, not again. Not the same nightmare. Her chest heaved as she sucked in air. Suddenly, her breath caught. She tried to calm down. If she were in heaven then, there was no problem, but if she were alive...was this hell? Where was she? She squeezed her eyes shut; wishing things would return to normal.

Rhia had to face the truth. No point in hiding from it. She opened her eyes slowly. No one stood in front of her now. Only a vacant blue wall. She turned her head to the left. A doctor sat beside her bed. She assumed he was a doctor. He was dressed in a lab coat with a nurse hovering behind him.

The doctor smiled. She squinted to have a better look. Good-looking guy, but this did not explain where she was, and how she got here and why. He took her left hand in his.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Nelson. You have just recovered from an accident."

Dumbfounded, Rhia looked at him. She started to speak, when Dr. Nelson continued. "You are alright now. No broken bones. You don't have to worry about that. You have no internal injuries, either. You appear to have fully recovered. We just need to run a few tests to be on the safe side. How do you feel right now? Do you remember the accident?"

_Accident?_ No, she didn't, and why was she alone? Where was Neil? Where were her kids? What had happened? The doctor must have seen her anxious look because he patted her hand and said. "Your family members are waiting outside the door, to meet you. But, not until I finish my check-up."

Rhia's mouth felt dry, her throat felt parched. She swallowed painfully. The doctor seemed to understand her need. His gentle hand lifted her head. A glass of water appeared under her chin. She gulped the water, choked, and sputtered out droplets of water on her chest. She looked down.

"What!" she gasped. _Where was it?_ The unfamiliar flat chest perplexed her. She'd boasted a lofty 36C-cup. With the doctor present she could not peek inside her gown, nor could she touch her breasts. The doctor eyed her unblinking.

She urgently needed to go to the bathroom. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Rhia fought the urge to throw up. A bowl was pushed under her chin, but she shook her head.

"I want to go to the bathroom." The nurse helped her get out of the bed. Her legs felt like rubber. They almost folded beneath her. The doctor hurried around the bed to support her, helping her to the bathroom door.

Rhia could understand her weakness, but her legs had never felt so useless. They entered the bathroom but the damn doctor would still not leave her side. She wanted to protest but could not muster the strength. Turning to the sink, she looked in the mirror.

An old wild woman stared back. Her grayed hair was spiked and wiry. Her eyes were sunken and cheekbones hollowed out. Rhia's jaw dropped. A high-pitched scream filled the small bathroom; a deafening sound came from her throat. She tried to get closer to the mirror for a better look. Where were her specs when she needed them? Why wouldn't the old woman stop screaming?

On second thoughts, if she looked like that old unkempt woman, she would have good reason to scream too. The nurse and doctor pulled her away from the mirror to rush her out of the bathroom. Good idea, but the scream still followed her.

The doctor and nurse had just settled her in bed when the door burst open and people charged into the room. _All strangers._ Her eyes darted from one side of the room to the other, desperately searching for Neil. Where was he? They had said he was here. Trust him to be away when she needed him the most. It reminded her of the time when...Rhia couldn't remember. Why wouldn't that old hag stop screaming?

Rhia flinched when something stung her arm. She turned in time to see a needle being pulled out. The room began to spin...and spin...and spin.

****

Rhia opened her eyes as her Mom rhythmically stroked her hair. Maybe she'd been a well-loved cat in her last life. She enjoyed being petted and pampered and loved to pet and pamper others, also.

To Rhia, this was the life, having her Mom nearby as she slept. Her Mom looked down at her and smiled. She was beautiful, elegant, brainy, and yet so down to earth. Rhia gazed at her. Mom looked tired, older. Rhia was shocked to see tears in her eyes. Mom never cried; she had never even seen tears in her eyes.

Rhia sat up and stared at her, whispering, "Mom, what happened? Why are you crying?"

Mom whispered, "Rhia, oh Rhia," lovingly stroking her head.

Tears overflowed Mom's eyes, streaming down her cheeks. Rhia started crying too as she clung to her Mom's hands. Someone patted her shoulder. She shifted to find her father with tears in his eyes too.

She crinkled her brow. "Is it crying day? Why is everyone unhappy?" Rhia asked. She started crying harder, scared of what had detonated such an avalanche of tears from her stoic parents. No one answered.

The door opened again. The doctor walked in. "Will everyone please go out in the hall for a few minutes? I need to talk privately with the patient."

Rhia's world seemed to tumble over and over like a child who could not stop turning somersaults. In the silent room all she heard were her own sobs. But why was she crying? It made no sense. Doctor Nelson cupped her hands into his. She looked down at their entwined hands; hers looked dry and dehydrated. She should take better care of her them.

She sniffed "Where is my husband? I want him. I want my children. Why aren't they here? I am having horrible nightmares, terrible thoughts. Please call them in. I am scared."

Dr Nelson's gentle voice soothed her. "I will...soon, but I would first like to explain something. You must listen carefully. You can stop me at any time to clarify any doubts."

He patted her hand and cleared his throat. He looked nervous. _Surely she wasn't pregnant!_

"Okay." She wiped the tears off her face, feeling better. At least finally somebody would explain what had happened to her.

"You remember, I told you that you injured were in an accident." He hesitated. "Do you remember anything?"

Rhia concentrated, but could not recollect anything. "The last thing I remember is trying to get out of bed in the morning." _Trying_ was the right word. She noticed the puzzled expression on the doctor's face as she added, "I don't remember actually getting out of bed."

"Well, you were in a car accident," he explained.

Rhia's mouth gaped for a few seconds then she fired back desperate for answers. "Was I at fault? I know I am not an exceptional driver, but I am usually careful. Was I alone? Where was I headed? What happened? Did I hurt anyone?" She couldn't live with herself if she'd injured anyone...or worse.

"Maybe it's the shock ... You really don't remember?"

Rhia shook her head, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Your car was parked when a bus hit it. You were seriously hurt." Dr. Nelson frowned then bit his lower lip.

"Hit by a bus! It doesn't make sense! Why don't I feel any pain?" she asked surprised at his words. "I feel perfectly fine. A little weak, and my legs feel sore, but otherwise..." This was unbelievable. The accident must not have been as bad as the doctor's tone had implied.

The doctor hesitated again. "No one was hurt... except you. And you do not feel any pain because you slept through the pain."

"What do you mean?" she said, "How could I have slept my pain off?" _None of this made sense_. She didn't know one could sleep off pain. "How long did I sleep?"

"Twenty years." He nodded then repeated, "Twenty years."

Paralysed by his words, Rhia could only stare back.

_Twenty years, twenty years..... twenty years._ Those two words echoed and re-echoed in her brain like bullets ricocheting inside the walls of her skull. Her head ached. Extreme tension gripped her neck, slithering upwards until it reached the top of her skull. She wished the noise would stop. If she banged her head against the wall, would it help? She wished ...she wished the intense pain would end. She clutched her head, moaning in pain and despair.

_Twenty years? That could not be right. Where are my children? Who looked after them, awakened them every morning, and fed them? They could not function without me. What have I done? What happened? How could I sleep so long? What kind of mother am I? Where are my children, my husband?_ Two arms encircled her shoulders as a soothing voice urged her to calm down. The rhythmic pat on her back helped release the tension. _Twenty years...._

When her sobs died down, a soft voice pleaded. "Rhia, please look at me. It's me Neil. Darling, please look at me, please!"

Rhia opened her eyes, moved out of comfortable embrace to see, who held her, but tears veiled her sight. Strong fingers wiped her tears away. The touch felt so familiar. As she moved towards the fingers, the strong arms engulfed her again. She felt more than comfort in those arms...love. She sensed it flowing into her body. Gentle kisses covered the top of her head as she snuggled closer to the voice. A warm hand caressed her back. Tender fingers ran through her hair as she held on closer to the chest. A rapid heartbeat drummed beneath her ear and palms. She slid her arms around the firm torso, clutching tighter. The voice said, "I am here, Darling, don't cry."

Suddenly, her chest tightened. A strange feeling came over her. Rhia silently withdrew as the hands slid off her body. She searched the man's eyes. Their gazes locked. She read tenderness in them. But this was a stranger, not her husband. It had nothing to do with his looks. This man was _a stranger._ He looked like an older Neil, the lined eyes, the strong chin, the wrinkled forehead were all his. The peppered hair was new. Still, this man was not her husband.

Rhia's heart went cold. She squinted her eyes to see more properly

"Rhia your specs." Neil backed away, giving her the space to view.

Rhia automatically put on her specs and was confronted by a dozen pair of eyes watching her, some peering over the shoulders of another. Her heart wrenched when she caught sight of three small children. Those six eyes stared with intense curiosity. Something tugged inside Rhia's chest as she returned the stare.

Dr Nelson took that moment to walk over to stand beside her. "Okay, dear, let me introduce you to your family. He pointed to the left. This is Neil, your husband. He is the one who took care of you these past years. They tell me he came to the hospital every day, bringing you a flower with each visit. He is almost a fixture here, now." He chuckled at his own joke.

Rhia looked at Neil without comprehension. She should feel joy or a similar emotion, but after the initial sense of belonging, she felt nothing...except a sense of aversion mounting like bile in her throat. The emotion must have reflected on her face. She saw Neil recoil.

Rhia remembered the pact she and Neil had made. Whatever happened between them would stay between them. The rest of the world did not need to know their problems. Instinctively, Rhia relaxed and forced a smile. She opened her arms to embrace Neil. Playing along, he acknowledged the sentiment and hugged her as close as he dared. He must have felt her rejection of him when her body stiffened.

"Now, allow me to—." Dr Nelson continued.

"No!" Rhia interrupted putting her right hand up as if to stop an oncoming traffic, "It is _our_ family matter. Neil, you do the honours."

So be it. This was their family's business. Not Dr. Nelson's. They could handle it. The matriarch was back in the saddle.

Neil cleared his throat and waved a hand towards the woman Rhia thought was her mother. "Let me reacquaint you with Zoya, first. Rhia, this is your sister."

_My sister?_ _This wasn't her Mom ._ Zoya was the mirror image of their mom. Zoya stepped forward with a tremulous smile on her lips, her eyes still moist with the tears she had shed. Rhia stared hard at her then opened her arms wide. Wordlessly, they embraced and kissed each other. Zoya was the only one in the room who provided a familiar and safe presence. Rhia clung to her, until Zoya whispered, "Reet and Roy."

Rhia released Zoya and focused on Neil. He smiled then pulled a young woman forward. "Rhia love, this is Reet, our daughter. She is now married and has two children of her own."

Wide-eyed, Rhia stared at Reet, taking in the lovely woman her daughter had become. Even while Reet was growing in her womb, she had been impatient to see how her baby would look. As Reet blossomed, Rhia was eager to know how her daughter would look, grown up. And here she was a mature adult. When she opened her arms, Reet fell into them, weeping softly.

"Ma, Ma, Ma..." Reet couldn't stop calling her "Ma" while Rhia hugged her as tightly as her weak arms would allow. She kissed her, caressing the beautiful face she had last seen when her daughter was thirteen. Rhia looked deeply into Reet's eyes, drinking in the intense love there.

"I am here, too!!" a voice interjected. Rhia looked up to see a younger version of Neil standing over her. She was stunned.

"Roy, my love is that you? Her ten-year-old brat had morphed into a handsome man. His wild hair was tamed down, he was dressed like a model but the mischievous look was still evident. This was undeniably her son. Rhia scrutinized him from head to toe.

"Oh, my God, you are handsome!" Rhia opened her arms wide to hug both her children. Then she let go to cup both their faces in her hands. She studied and searched in every inch of their faces for her two children.

"My babies, my babies" she repeated kissing them both.

"Ma, we are married now. We have children too." Roy informed her gleefully.

"You are married! Of course, you must be! Where are they?" Rhia was stunned. She was trying hard to follow what was happening around her.

With great joy, Reet presented her husband, Adi, and their two children—their daughter, Sameera and son, Jas. They looked the perfect family and Rhia saw a reflection of her own little family in theirs. Roy beamed and proudly introduced his wife Mila and his son Kevin. He beamed like a light bulb glowed inside him. The little children stared at her solemnly, waiting for her reaction. Rhia opened her arms to them. Not heeding their parents' advice, "Take care, Grandma is weak," the three, dashed into her arms, wrapping themselves around her.

After a few moments she heard a voice say, "Hey, Ugly, nice to see you awake."

Rhia turned towards the voice, knowing full well, only her brother could speak like that to her. Who she saw took her breath away. Her father was standing behind the small children.

"What happened, you forgot how to speak?" The voice was her brother's, deeper now, but it was his. Rhia gazed at her bother Ray, her youngest sibling. He looked so much like her father. She could not think of a proper repartee. She lifted her hand towards him. He took it in his and squeezed her hand, their eyes softly communicating their feelings. His eyes were still red and moist.

"You were crying." She couldn't resist saying to him.

"I never cry. You room is so dusty and you know I am allergic to dust!"

Zoya burst out laughing, "Don't you two start fighting. You have grandchildren now. Set a good example of sisterly, brotherly love."

Rhia smiled at them, looking at each member intently, trying to match them now to the faces she had last seen just before the accident.

Conversations flew above Rhia's head. Neil's voice drifted far away. The little children chatted; however, she barely heard them. She wanted to cry, but couldn't let her family see her break down. She felt cheated of the years that should have been spent with her children. What had happened? How had they fared? Had Neil looked after them well? Who had prepared for the grand events of their lives? What jobs did they have? Were they happy with their spouses?

Rhia felt the joy and excitement of her family but she felt isolated. So alone, like she didn't belong in her own family. She had missed so much. She had not been there when her children needed her the most. She had not been there for all the major events in her children's lives. Mixed emotions rushed through her. The joy of being alive filled her, but on the other, but the sorrow of having missed a great part of their lives, pained her.

Time passed in a whirl. Rhia tried to absorb the reality, equate it with the past. Mental confusion made it hard to balance the act of living in the now, when she was stuck in the past.

Her family must have noticed her bewildered expression. One by one, they withdrew till she was left alone with her sister. Rhia fell sobbing, into Zoya's arms.

The doctors advised the family to leave the two alone since Rhia was under tremendous stress. They deemed Zoya as the best person to smooth her transition into the present world.

Zoya stayed with her that night, soothing her while she filled Rhia in on things that had happened during her long sleep. Rhia found it difficult to accept reality. The most Zoya could do was to mother and reassure her. Rhia had a long journey ahead and much to accomplish. Apprehension tightened her muscles. Rhia feared the journey ahead, but knew it was one she could not escape.

****

Two weeks later

Elation escaped Rhia, even though today was the day of her discharge from the hospital. The doctor kept her two weeks after she'd awakened, for close observation and various therapies. She'd lain wide awake most of the time, lost in her rambling thoughts.

When Rhia emerged from the coma, she'd experienced a brief wave of euphoria upon seeing her children and grandchildren. That feeling steadily dissipated. Depression replaced it. Now, she felt detached from everyone, even her family. They sensed her disinterest. She was never left alone. Someone was always with her but she spoke only when spoken to and in "Yes" and "No", monosyllables. They put her apathy down to mental confusion.

The past, the past, the past. Said to be the foundation of the present and the springboard of tomorrow. But Rhia had no past, no present, and where was her future? Twenty years... evaporated! She was almost sixty years old with all her dreams she'd had for her future scattered like dust in the wind. Only icy remnants of her life remained. All the plans she had made, all the ambitions she'd had ... where were they? Her life was like an old book that crumbled every time it was touched, the soot blackening her hands, the embittered evidence which stung her heart harshly.

At fifty-seven, she felt like a woman with one leg in the tomb, the other shaking...trying to get a hold. But, to what? Her husband had become an old man too. He spoke like her father. How could she sleep with him? Even share the same space? This man was a stranger. She could not relate to him, regardless of what everyone wanted. If only she could run away! But where to? Her parents were dead. It was another sharp pain she had to deal. The world as she knew was no more. She knew no one except her family. And those three kids called her _Granny_. Hell, she did not even recognise herself in the mirror. This old woman, wrinkled and shrivelled...this couldn't be her!

Rhia sat in bed with a blanket spread over her. The hospital bed had become her refuge, her nest. She was reluctant to leave it. Lethargic and disinterested, she'd had no desire to look out the window or watch TV, to catch up with the world news. Her family had arrived to take her back home. They talked around her, indistinct voices murmuring. She sat in the midst of loving strangers. Anxious eyes peered at her and solicitous voices inquired what she wanted.

_To go back in time._ She wanted to scream. _If only she could._ That's what she wanted. She wished she could relive the days when her routine was to awaken her children, get them off to school, then grumble about her many responsibilities while everyone else slept. She wanted to go back to the time when the very sight of her husband's bare torso thrust her into his arm, when her fingers held him tight and her body clung to his, inhaling his scent. This stranger, who called himself Neil, aroused only dislike in her. After building a life around her family, she hardly recognised them. She wanted her old life back.

Neil's hand crept towards hers. She slithered hers away till it lay on her lap out of his reach. Rhia could not bear his lightest touch nor look into the eyes of the man who had kept her alive and not given up on her. She felt grateful that he had not allowed her life support to be unplugged, but gratitude was the only good emotion she could muster where her husband was concerned.

She caught her sister's eyes studying her, a crease between her brows. Zoya was the one person who could read her like an open book. A strong bond connected them so they understood the nuances in each others' behaviour. Zoya was not happy with her. Rhia could feel that Zoya wanted to speak to her, alone.

Reet and Roy stared at her too, probably hoping to convince her everything would be okay. She must remind herself; they were not children anymore, but grownups with families of their own. So much was happening at once, she had trouble absorbing it. How would they react if she wailed, beat her fists and drummed her heels, and screamed?

Rhia was tempted, but used willpower to resist. Instead, she slid beneath the covers and forced herself to keep still. _With luck,_ _everyone will think I've fallen asleep_.

Conversation hushed and the room fell silent. The door creaked open and feet shuffled towards the exit. Rhia took a deep breath then relaxed in the quiet room. She peeped out to see if everyone had left.

Zoya stood over her bed, hands propped on her hips. Her eyes narrowed. "Okay, what is your problem? I know you are not sleeping, so don't pretend. It won't work. I know you too well."

Rhia threw back the cover and frowned at her sister. Still she said nothing.

"Why do you continuously reject Neil?" Zoya persisted. "I know it is a shock to see all of us twenty years older, but you seem to be alright with everyone, except Neil. So, why do you reject your husband? He who has stayed by your side and waited for you so long?"

Rhia raked nervous fingers through her hair. "He is so old. I don't understand it, but there is something in me that refuses to be with him. The very thought of him touching me...I feel...uncomfortable and I don't understand why." Rhia's voice shook as she continued. "I don't... recognise him; I am so... sorry, but I don't. He is a stranger to me."

Zoya gripped Rhia's shoulders, forcing her sister to face her. "Listen to me. No, don't interrupt. This is not easy for you, I understand. But you have been given a new lease on life. Look at the other alternative; you could have been dead! You have been given a gift. A chance to return to your family, children, grandchildren, and husband. A chance to rebuild your life. Accept the gift. Give yourself this chance."

When Rhia remained silent, Zoya threw up her hands. "You have to decide now. What you want to do? Live with your family... or...go away. Because as much as I love you, Rhia, I refuse to allow you to hurt anyone simply because you are confused. The children have already suffered so from your absence. They missed you terribly. There was not a single event where you were not remembered or missed. I'm aware you and Neil had some issues before the accident. I don't know what kinds of issues, but whatever they were, he's stayed by your side these past twenty years, steadfast and strong." She folded her arms over her chest and glared at Rhia. "The past mistakes must be buried. It is up to _you_ to do it."

Zoya's words shocked Rhia out of a self-induced trance. Since awakening from the coma, her family had sheltered her, keeping her inside a protective bubble, making no demands on her. At least not openly. Still, she felt waves of expectation emanating from their faces, and detected glimmers of hope in their eyes. She was not ready to leave the security the hospital room provided.

She tried to reply, but her sealed lips would not open nor would her tongue move. It was as if someone had glued them shut. Everything compiled, was more than Rhia could handle. While her chest tightened, her heart hammered against her ribcage. A strong compulsion to stamp her feet, strike someone, and bang something against the wall, overwhelmed her. She fought it and won, for the time being. If only she could wake up. _Really_ wake up. But, this unfamiliar world was here to stay. As hard as she tried to will it to disappear, it was not going anywhere.

Tears welled in Rhia's eyes as she looked at her sister. "Zoya, tell me again. Where am I? What happened to me, and why did it happen?"

"I will tell you again and again and again. We have time now, and it is a relief to talk to you when you can actually respond." Zoya grinned then added, "Although, it was fun saying anything I wanted to you and knowing you had to lie still and listen quietly."

She squeezed Rhia's hand. "First, get up, take a shower. Get out of these hospital clothes." She scanned Rhia from head to toe. "You lucky woman, you have slimmed down without the struggle with diet or exercise. I brought some clothes for you. Now, hop into the shower!" Zoya ordered, relieved she had finally gotten through to her sister.

Rhia took a few steps then froze in her tracks. _Please not the bathroom._ _The old woman in the mirror would be waiting for me_. The shock of her reflection might send her into hysterics again.

Zoya must have sensed her discomfort because she consoled, "Don't worry; there is no mirror in there. You don't have to see yourself till you are ready. Although, I must say your skin is lovely now that you have put on a bit of weight these two weeks. And the years of sleeping did wonders for you."

_One small consolation prize._ Her skin had perked up these past two weeks. A controlled diet of solid food had worked wonders on her body. Her skin was no longer as loose and she had a healthy glow.

Rhia walked into the bathroom, shrugged off her gown then stepped into the shower. As she stood underneath the gentle waterfall savoring the warmth of the cleansing water on her skin, she rearranged the chaos in her mind.

Step one...step two...step three...step four. Step one: I will speak to my sister. Step two: I will speak to my brother. Her parents were no more. As she could not imagine her life without them, she focused on those who were still around, stubbornly shutting out the grief. She couldn't deal with that at this juncture. Step three: I will speak to Neil. Step four: I will speak to my children.

The children, their spouses, and the grandchildren, had become her priority _._

As Rhia timetabled her life, calmness descended over her. She felt more in control, no longer like a wild pendulum swinging high above the Earth, in space, without a safety net below to catch her.

A confused woman went into the shower, but a calm woman came out, ready and armed to face the new world and make up for the time she had missed. As she dressed, she explained her plan to Zoya. Her sister approved, further adding that as soon as she was released from the hospital, they would head straight to the beauty institute.

"Beauty institute? No—no! I don't want to!" Rhia wailed. Those mirrors around her would give her a nightmare. She could not relive that.

"Hey sweets, don't worry; I am taking you to a special place. And on the way, I will explain in detail things that have happened these last twenty years. Some things will be good, others sad. You will have to be strong, as you have always been to face them," Zoya encouraged.

Rhia had no time to be apprehensive. She had to focus. Focus hard on what she wanted. She craved to be with her children...to make up the time lost. And she wanted to hug them close. Lots of "wants." To achieve them she had to catch up on so many things. Most importantly, their lives.

Zoya and Rhia shared a strong relationship, but it was not always so. After consistently arguing during their childhood, in their teens they had become best friends. The three years between them melted away as they gossiped and shared their dreams. As sisters and best friends, they lived in their own world. Marriage brought some changes; their lives diverged, but the ties securing them remained.

Zoya was the most fair, unbiased person Rhia knew. Her heart was platinum. Being nice came naturally to her, whereas Rhia had to put forth effort in that department. As sisters they complemented each other, each balancing the other's weaknesses. Years of living together, sharing the same space, had strengthened the bond between the sisters. The family knew Zoya was the only one Rhia would listen to. Hence, the job of bringing Rhia up-to-date had fallen on Zoya's sturdy shoulders.

Zoya began to worry. She had seen the niggling doubt in Rhia's eyes. One no one else could read. Intuition told her it had to deal with Neil. What was it?

Zoya was determined to find out.

****

A conscientious attendant wheeled Rhia out to the waiting car while Zoya walked alongside them. The sisters sat into the backseat of the car. The attentive driver carefully navigated through the traffic. Rhia was silent. To respect her wishes, Zoya did not attempt conversation.

Rhia closed her eyes; she was still not ready to face certain things. The new world outside would be drastically different from the world she had left and last seen. Nothing about it interested her. Her one desire was to crawl back into the cocoon called her "family," back to her home, her kitchen, and feel familiar things around her. To go back twenty years and get a slice of her real life.

Since her mind and heart were at loggerheads, both wanting different things, it was difficult to make the right choices. Her mind knew there was no turning back the clock, but her heart prayed for a miracle. If only she could blink her eyes and return to the time before the accident.

The loud noises outside the car window penetrated Rhia's hazy thoughts, but did not arouse her curiosity. Neither had her husband aroused any affectionate feelings in her. Rather, she resented the man she should love.

Why had his eyes held that furtive look? Scenes from the hospital flashed through Rhia's mind with clarity, each expression etched out distinctly-the tenderness in her daughter's eyes, the excitement on her son's face, her sister's and brother's pure joy, and the doctor's amazement. Neil looked happy, but lost, unsure.

Of what?

Rhia was born with an overactive imagination, tagging meanings to situations and people without proper evidence. Her intuitive powers were still strong. They told her something was definitely wrong.

The past two weeks she had been prodded and pushed, run through rigorous tests, probed with endless questions by several doctors, leaving no time for her to think through her dilemma. Not that she had wanted to think about it. Learning to readjust physically had absorbed all Rhia's energy; but now the more daunting task stood before her, the task of integrating back into the family circle, not as an invalid, but as a functional member.

_No. I'll not focus on that. I'll take one step at a time and try not to think about the future._ She took a deep breath, resolving to do just that.

Life had moved on while she'd slept. Rhia was stuck in a time warp. The psychotherapist explained it to the best of his ability, stressing the importance of being patient and kind with herself. She must welcome her new self.

His conclusion was _the process of reintegration would be difficult for all the members of the family_. Accepting herself as a fifty-seven-year-old woman was the most difficult truth for Rhia to swallow. Each time the thought hit her, tears of self pity sprang to her eyes. She had to mentally shake herself, force her mind to think optimistic thoughts.

Before the accident, she dreamed of the many exciting things she wanted to do when she reached her forties. Like sky diving, and training to fly a small plane or helicopter. By that time she would be free of menial, domestic chores. The kids would less dependent by then, meaning she would have more time and money to invest in activities she'd always wanted to do.

Time was Rhia's worst enemy. It had cheated her not only of the vital years of her life, but her dreams, and aspirations as well. She had every right to be angry. She had planned her life well, only to have those plans eradicated by twenty years. Twenty years wasted on sleep.

Postponement of her desires had been a way of life before the accident. The money and energy expended were required for more productive things. Rhia had resigned herself to do what was reasonable, to do her duties as a wife and mother.

Gazing at the back of her hands, reminded Rhia that her skin had lost its youthful elasticity. The mirror constantly confronted her with aged skin, so she tried to avoid it, but knew there was really no escape. Focusing on the positive was difficult. She was alive and loved and wanted. But, it was so hard to accept the drastic changes in herself. If only she could rest her head on someone's shoulder and cry her heart out. But Rhia could not. It would be selfish to cry over what to her was a tragedy, when everyone else was jubilant over her resurrection from the dead. A part of Rhia was happy, but her emotions fluctuated between confusion and rage, making it difficult to smile and appear ecstatic all the time.

Her brother, Ray, had returned to his hometown before Rhia was released from the hospital. The protective brother that he was, he made sure she was medically fit and her family would be available to take care of her before departing.

Neil had been a possessive husband, demanding of her time and attention. He'd resented anyone with whom she was close. Zoya was the exception. Neil had subtly edged out Rhia's brother from her life, something that, according to Zoya, he regretted after Rhia's accident. Neil tried to mend the fences, but Ray still kept his distance from him. Now, her brother kept in touch with Rhia through phone calls which had become a daily ritual.

During the seemingly endless ride to the institute, Rhia was still in no mood to speak, not even to Zoya. Instead, she reflected on the past few weeks.

Immediately after her resurrection, she devoted her energy to learning to walk again. Numerous tests were performed, including brain scans, which proved hers was in good condition. Body scans were used to check her muscles and the condition of her internal organs. The doctors ensured she was fit enough to fly away from their nest.

The press had persisted in their rigorous attempts to get an interview with Rhia. Reporters from the TV stations were after her blood. Rhia was called labelled "The New Wonder." She smiled, envisioning herself dressed in Wonder Woman's red cape, white top, hot blue shorts, and flying around.

Rhia sensed she clung to the edge of a maelstrom, teetering, ready to slip into its heart, but hanging onto its lip with all her might. Focus, focus, focus. Step one, two, three, four, five, and six. _One step at a time,_ she reminded herself.

Rhia pulled deeper into her inner world, searching for an oasis of peace that would bring her back to where she could take stock of everything that had happened. She feared the present, and worse...the future. Nothing had prepared her for this geriatric life.

_No! Don't go there again. Don't slip into despair,_ Rhia sternly reminded herself. Positive thinking was the key word. _Think of the grandchildren._

But... she had missed their births; she had missed holding her daughter's hand, cooking for her, looking after her when she was with child. How did one recapture those moments? Spears pierced her heart while hot tears gathered under her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes shut to force them back.

She would not cry. No, she would not. Positive thinking. Yes, she must think of the pleasant things.

****

The car braked. The driver got out and opened the back door. With eyes still closed, guided by Zoya's gentle voice, Rhia was manoeuvred across a floor to be finally placed into a chair. She heard Zoya give instructions to someone.

At the institute, as Zoya promised, Rhia did not see her reflection in any mirror. They were covered. A smiling lady led her to a reclining couch, urging her to sit and relax. Soon her hair, hands and feet were taken care of by capable hands. They promised she would emerge a new woman, physically. If only the beauty therapists could also transform her mentally.

Within minutes she was being massaged, pampered, manicured, and pedicured while the hairdresser cut her hair. Gentle hands ran tubes over her face and neck while a soft melody hummed in the background. When Rhia closed her eyes, the place felt like the hospital, only more pleasant. Her jumbled thoughts raced with things to do and catch up on. Rhia inhaled and refused to think anymore. Joy, pain, and confusion deeply entwined in her already-scrambled brain, made it difficult to separate the emotions.

But thoughts, like wild horses, were difficult to bridle and tame. As the hair dresser coloured her hair, Rhia reflected on her life. She compared it to hair braided with three tresses. Each plait represented a specific part of her life—the past, the present and the future. Rhia had lost her past. Wherever it was, she could not connect it to her present. At fifty-seven, years old what did her future hold? Some people retired at sixty. They were grandmothers and grandfathers!

Hell, she was a grandmother too. A rapid promotion from a mother of two teenage brats to a grandmother to three strangers. Everyone except her brother and sister, were strangers to her. Unknown—unfamiliar.

After the initial jubilation of meeting her family, awkwardness overcame Rhia. All her sentences became questions. "Why, what, when...?" She couldn't help feeling cheated, bereft, and lonely. Sitting in the hairdresser's chair, for a moment she wished she had never awoken. The sharp feeling of isolation had become all too familiar. Acute loneliness ached in her chest while her stomach churned with long-buried memories.

What were those memories? She racked her brain to recall them, but each time they drifted just beyond reach. A sigh escaped her lips.

The hairdresser excused herself. Rhia's hair was coloured and they had to wait for some time for the shampoo. The sisters were left alone.

Zoya pounced on Rhia. "What were you thinking? Come on; speak now," she demanded. "You've been silent too long."

Rhia inhaled then slowly exhaled. "To tell the truth, Zoya, I am scared. I am afraid to go back home and face Reet, Roy, and especially Neil. Nothing is the same; I feel I am with strangers. My mind knows and accepts them as family, but...it's been so long. I'm uncomfortable around them. I am trying so hard to stay positive and be happy, but it is so difficult. How can I remain upbeat when I have no control over my life?" Her voice wavered, "I feel so disconnected!"

Zoya stroked her arm. "There, there, it will not be easy; you will need time to adjust. But you must prepare yourself for those adjustments. Life is not easy, anyway. Only you can choose how you will face it. We are glad that you are back. We are glad you are here; but I also know so does Neil, that yours will not be an easy journey." Zoya's voice soothed, "So be prepared."

"I have feelings for the children...but not for Neil. I keep asking myself the reason. He is my husband, the father of my kids, and I'm uncomfortable around him. His presence makes me nervous. And I can tell Neil doesn't want to be around me. He is uncomfortable, too!" Rhia finished in tears.

"No!" Zoya insisted. "You are wrong, there. Neil may be a little uneasy around you, but he desperately wants to be with you. The rest of us have taken so much of your time that you hardly had time to speak to him privately. Rhia, I tell you again; Neil has remained loving and devoted. He never stopped believing you would one day wake up. I don't know what happened between you two, but that was before. Those things do not hold true today. Your accident was one of those things. It just happened. You were unfortunate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The bus hit your parked car. No one was responsible except the bus driver. Not you, not Neil. Always remember this: You and Neil will have issues to deal with. But, please learn to separate them from the present," Zoya pleaded, "otherwise, your marriage will fail."

Rhia nodded. She did not want her marriage to fail; at the same time she felt only repulsion towards Neil. Zoya was straightforward and fair. She had never taken sides when Rhia had a difference with Neil. The sisters had an unwritten rule; they never interfered in each others' marital lives and never ever spoke against each others' husband.

"Am I the one at fault, Zoya? Am I to blame for the dislike which overcomes me when Neil and I are in the same room...I can't explain it; sometimes I want to rush into his arms and bury my head in his chest, forget the whole world. But before I can act, something comes over me and I freeze. I feel as if I have no right to touch him, hold, or to kiss him."

Rhia clutched the sides of the armchair. "Something is wrong. My head is spinning!" Her body trembled.

Zoya cupped her sister's face to lift it. "Listen to me. There was something wrong between you and Neil, before your accident. Something happened, though I don't know what. It is your choice whether you want to find out what it was... and if you decide to, how it will affect the present and the future."

Rhia looked pensively at her toes while Zoya continued. "You are the only one who can make that choice. No one wants to force you. It is not my intention to pressure you, but I know I'm doing it. On one hand, you have your children, grandchildren, son and daughter-in-law, plus a husband who stood by your side for the twenty years you were out. On the other hand you and Neil may have a painful past, something he has never spoken about."

Rhia listened attentively.

"Rhia, you would not believe how he tolerated Roy's childish tantrums, Reet's crazy teenage years, and was a pillar of strength to both your children. He could have strayed. He could have divorced you, and kept a mistress, but instead he..."

Tears pooled in Rhia's eyes then trickled down her cheeks, each teardrop chasing the other. Zoya's jaw dropped. What had she done?

"Rhia, what's wrong? Please stop crying!" Zoya searched frantically through her handbag for her phone. "Oh my God, where is it?" She pulled it out then punched in the numbers, "Neil? Come quickly. Something is wrong with Rhia! No...she's crying, and seems to be near a state of shock. I don't know what happened. Okay...we will be waiting. Please hurry."

Zoya racked her brain to recall what she had said to trigger the onslaught of tears. The hairdresser returned and to wash the colour from Rhia's hair. Rhia was oblivious to the hands massaging her scalp. Oblivious to everything.

Wringing her hands, Zoya, tried to calm herself. _At least Neil was on his way. The doctor had said to be careful, not to do or say anything that would cause Rhia an emotional shock. Was Rhia lost to them, again? Neil was taking so long. Where was he?_

Rhia sat immobile as her hair was being dried and styled. Her eyes had become two steady streams of tears that flowed down her cheeks, mercilessly. Each tear chasing down the other.

Zoya panicked! _What had she sai_ d? She tried to recall. What had triggered this stillness in Rhia and such a silent outburst of tears? Zoya was lost now. The doctor did say that Rhia should not have any emotional shocks.

Zoya strode around the hallway. _Where was Neil? He was taking so long to come._

****

While Rhia was at the beauty institute

Neil and his children gathered in the family room at Neil's home. Zoya had taken Rhia to the beauty institute. The threesome needed time alone to discuss what should be done regarding Rhia. Her incomprehension had not gone unnoticed.

The room was peacefully quiet. The only sound heard was the tinkling of Rhia's water fountain. This fountain was a wedding gift Rhia had treasured. Neil kept it exactly at the same spot, each tinkle a reminder of his wife's heartbeat. The water fountain was not the only object which remained in the same place. As far as possible, Neil had kept the home decor as identical as the fateful day Rhia had left for work. Her clothes still hung in her closet. Her shoes polished and carefully taken care lay in neat rows in her shoe racks. Her bloodied handbag retrieved from the damaged car, was restored as close as could be to its original state.

Her absence was stark in the many family pictures which adorned the walls. The pictures showed Neil aging, his family tree growing, the little ones hanging to his arms, his children, now four of them, beaming around him as his sad eyes gazed out from each frame. Surrounded by the evidence of their family history, they were lost in their thoughts. The euphoria of Rhia's awakening had passed; it was time to decide the measures to be taken.

Standing silent by the window, looking outside, giving his back to his children, a bewildered Neil shoved his fists deep into his jeans pockets, his jaws clenching and unclenching. Rhia's temporary amnesia was a boon, although he sensed her rejection. But, what would happen if she remembered? What would she do then? His stomach muscles tightened as ugly, painful scenes from the past blurred his vision.

He had longed for the day his beloved wife would open her eyes, longed for the day he would be able to tell her he was sorry. Now the day was here, he was terrified of losing her again. When she'd first failed to recognise him, was one of the bitterest moments of his life. Those beautiful eyes formerly filled with love and admiration for him had now become vacant. Would he ever see those emotions in her eyes again? The way her pupils dilated with wonder and amazement when they made love, were still etched in his mind. Was that lost too?

When hurt, those same eyes could quickly change into livid pools of confusion and sadness. All those emotions he could handle, but the blank look him stumped. It was one he'd never experienced.

Neil chewed his bottom lip, longing for a cigarette. He had quit after Rhia's accident. Now the urge returned.

He would squarely face the consequences. _I will fight for Rhia... win her back. Take whatever punishment she metes out._ His twenty years of loneliness would not be enough suffering to satisfy Rhia. He knew her well; she would not be happy till she drew blood. For her time had halted. She had good reasons to be angry at him. The Day of Reckoning had arrived. His punishment was pending.

Even after all these years, Neil could not digest his own stupidity, insensitivity, arrogance and heartlessness. A meaningless flirtation, a one night stand, had destroyed their relationship. He could not forgive himself.

Neil squared his shoulders. _This was action time. Plan his campaign with precision_. As a single dad for the past twenty years, he had raised their children, put them through college. He was their tower, their pillar, their strength. He had been at their side when they married, helped with their first marital teething pains, advised them gently when they went off track, participated in their joys when their families grew; when the grandchildren, the apple of their eyes came into their lives.

His and Rhia's grandchildren. Neil could not afford to lose again. There was too much at stake He would stick to Rhia like glue, beg on his knees, grovel, if need be, but he would not give up. Not now. Not ever!

****

Lost in an elation of her own, Reet smiled. Her life was complete. Ma was back. Everything would be alright now. They would catch up on all the time they had lost. She would have someone more to talk to, to share with, and to confide in. Reet could not express how much she had missed her during the time she was in coma. Ma had been here...and yet not here.

Reet knew that she had received a lot of love from her family. All these years, Aunt Zoya had always been present for her and Roy. Aunt had been her surrogate mother, her Godmother. She had never allowed them to feel orphaned. Yet Reet had missed her Ma terribly. She had grown under her Ma's constant care, attention, devotion. To have all this abruptly removed from her life had been heartbreaking. Life had been difficult without her. But, Dad had taken over, and very efficiently.

Reet smiled as she thought of her father's initial efforts to look after two teenage brats and run a house. He had not been much help when Ma was functional, but in her absence, Dad had become an all-in-one, dad/mom/cook/housekeeper. Finally, they hired Sarah a plump, smiling, fifty year old grandma as their housekeeper.

Sarah had taken over the complete responsibility of running the home, from grocery shopping to cooking, to paying the bills, to supervising the maid who cleaned the house. Sarah was lovable and affectionate but she stood no nonsense from them. She even ensured they completed their homework every evening. She freed their Dad from all domestic chores. Then, at least their Dad could concentrate exclusively on being mother and father to them. Sarah had been looked after their home till her death a few years ago

Reet's heart went out to her Dad as she thought of his efforts to hold the family together, endure their teenage tantrums and their loss. As a parent now, she could appreciate his efforts to bring a sense of normalcy and balance to their lives. Both she and Roy had been mischievous kids.

She smiled at the reminiscences. How her Dad coped with her pre-menstrual irritability, growing pains, first crush. God, how he had glared at the poor boy! What was his name? Oh...Laurie something. She recalled how Dad had remained calm when both she and Roy brought home horrendous report cards and then helped them study to improve their grades.

Her heart still pained, she felt guilty for the time when both she and Roy kind of accused him of being responsible for their mother's accident. Dad had turned pale then walked out of the room without saying a word. The house stayed silent for two days. The guilt pressed on her and Roy. They wanted to apologise, but felt so awkward. It seemed their lips were sealed shut. With their Dad locked in a hell of his own, the apology would surely not have been accepted.

On the third day, Dad spoke as if nothing had happened. Things went back to normal, but did it really? The three had been a little uncomfortable for a while, but as time passed, so did the uneasy feeling. Funny how these memories, long buried, had resurfaced in such sharp focus. _Why had they accused Dad of causing the accident?_ She could not remember. _What happened that day? Roy had been home, but she had not. Why had Roy said that her Dad was responsible?_

****

Roy was back in the past. As a teen he had been immersed in his own world, one he had solidly built around himself. He had allowed only Reet to come into it, occasionally. And she, only at his permission. Never had he allowed his Dad inside. His relationship with his Dad had become more cordial over time, but a residual resentment remained

He recalled the events leading up to his Ma's accident. Her waking up from a twenty-year sleep had aroused long-buried memories and resentments. Roy's chest burned with anger and frustration, as he relived the memories.

He remembered the day of the accident clearly—the day the family had broken apart. He had been hiding in his room. It was a school day. He was supposed to be already on his way but some of his friends who lived near the beach had planned to go surfing. The weather was perfect, slightly windy with curling waves beckoning the boys invitingly. The message was tom tommed around. After hurried secret phone calls and whispered conversations he was quickly convinced to join them.

He impatiently waited for his parents to leave for work. The gang planned to meet at nine a.m. on the south point of the beach. Time became a lazy worm, creeping slowly as he waited. Roy kept an ear glued to his door to listen to their welcomed departure. He heard Reet tumbling down the stairs shouting hurried goodbyes. Roy was relieved. Reet was a telltale. She would have surely spilled the beans to their parents. Reet loved nothing better than to get him into trouble. Roy was no doormat. He always ensured he had enough ammunition against her. They were constantly arguing.

As soon as Reet was out of the house, Ma's voice rose. For a reason he did not understand, his parents had not been on good terms the past few weeks. They did not argue in front of him or Reet, but their stilted communications spoke loud and clear. Both he and Reet were curious to know what caused their difference. Until then, their parents had not stayed on the warpath long. This time was different, it had been a month.

Yes, Roy remembered. They had returned from the movies when the silent battle began. The battle was not silent anymore. It was time he found out what it was about. If he hid and listened, the extra piece of information would give him the upper hand. He could use it to bribe Reet to do his chores and homework. Life would be good!

Roy crept out of the room and slipped over to the staircase. The words he heard chilled his heart and crumbled his world. He had never heard his Ma's voice all choked up and crying.

"I want you gone! I want you out of the house. Take all your bloody things. Just go! I never want to see you again. Send me the divorce papers, I will sign them. Just go!"

The words cut in Roy's mind. Then silence. A door banging. Half an hour later, a bus struck Ma's car. Life as he knew it, ended.

Roy blamed his Dad for his mother's accident. He knew they planned to separate. He tried to convince Reet, but she refused to believe it. True, he consistently bluffed his sister, making, difficult for her to accept the truth when he did tell it.

Years of counselling sessions finally put things in perspective. The psychotherapist made him realize his Dad was not to blame for what happened to his mother. He understood clearly that Ma's accident was just that... an accident. The crash occurred in front of her office and in no way was his Dad responsible. His parents' fight and the accident were two unrelated incidents. Still it had been easier to blame Dad for the tragedy.

Now as an adult, father to a son, Roy appreciated all the efforts his father had made to raise him and Reet, on his own. They had not been easy kids. Roy made certain his father paid for whatever he had done to hurt Ma. Though not suicidal, Roy teetered on the borderline insolence. Self-preservation prevented him from going overboard.

What had happened between his parents that fateful morning? Why had Ma wanted Dad out of the house and out of her life? And now, she was awake and confused. What would happen when she did remember? Would she leave Dad?

Would it make any difference to him? Yes, it would! Despite everything, Roy wanted his family whole. Not having Ma with them these past years was like having a large chunk of the puzzle missing. Puzzle was the right word. Ma was the heart of the puzzle.

Dad's nervousness frightened him. Roy studied him from across the room His Dad stood rigidly looking outside, bunched fists shoved deep into his pockets. Roy tried to feel angry with him, but the emotion eluded him. He could not remember a day, a moment, his Dad had not there for him.

Dad had taken an extended leave from work to look after them, losing his chance of obtaining the big promotion he had worked hard for. He remembered his father's well-meant efforts to cook and clean, till Sarah came to save them from burnt food and a dusty home.

Did Dad have a girlfriend while his Ma slept? No, both he and Reet had been vigilant about this. There had been no other woman. Roy began to appreciate his Dad as a man. He was handsome and even at fifty-nine, women still looked at him. Dad was charming with a flatter stomach than his. Roy patted his small bulge. It was time for him to hit the gym.

Yes, even with his good looks and opportunities, Dad had been faithful to Ma. It was time to stitch the family back together, make it whole again.

Reet left the room. Roy ensured she was out of hearing distance. He walked over to his father and whispered, "Dad."

"Um-mm..?"

"Don't tell Ma about the fight. She doesn't need to remember."

****

Shocked, Neil turned to face his son. So, Roy did know about the fight! He had suspected as much all these years. Many things started to fall into place. Roy's animosity and resentment, his stubbornness, it all made sense now. Neil's eyes moistened and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He turned to face his son gripping his shoulders, looking straight into his eyes, he announced, "I swear to you, I will do my best. I will do anything and everything to keep your Ma. Even if I have to tie her to the house, I will. This I vow."

Neil felt his faith returning. The same flame that had kept his convictions alive, reignited. His son would stand with him. He was not alone. The two people he feared most were his wife and daughter. Reet had been, and still was, his heart. He did not want to fall in her eyes as he had in Rhia's. The look of despair, hurt, and desolation in Rhia's eyes before she left their home, on that fateful day, was fixed firmly in his brain. His mission now was to turn that look back into love. Neil sighed. It would not be an easy task.

****

Roy exhaled. He felt better now. He did not want to know what Dad had done to hurt Ma. All that mattered was his Dad would make it alright. He had complete faith in his father. Twenty years of complete devotion had proven him trustworthy, a man of his word. If Dad said everything would be alright, it would be. It was Dad who had been determined to keep Ma alive. Every time someone mentioned pulling the plug, Dad fought tooth and nail. He continued to believe Ma would one day awaken. For him, she was just sleeping off exhaustion. His faith had never wavered, never dimmed. Without question, his father had patiently waited for Ma to return to him.

Dad's sharp ring tone broke into Roy's thoughts. He could hear his aunt's breathless and hurried message something about his Ma going into shock. His Dad grabbed his car keys. Roy's hear sank, "Dad, what is it? What's wrong with Ma?"

"I have to go. Your mother has remembered. Look after your sister. Lock the house. Stay away for tonight. I have to handle this alone," he instructed as he dashed to his car. Roy dogged his footsteps, his heart beating fast while he prayed hard.

As the car turned round in the driveway, Reet appeared. "Where is Dad?"

"Aunt Zoya phoned. Ma needs Dad."

"What? Then come on. Let's go. What are you waiting for?" Reet exploded

"No, Reet. Dad asked us to stay away for tonight. He will look after Ma. These were Dad's instructions. We will not argue, although, we may not like it," Roy finished on a softer note.

Reet did not want to disobey her Dad. Still, it hurt not to be included.

Roy was in torture. He could not share his worries with anyone. He closed his eyes and prayed, "Let everything be okay! Please, let everything be okay."

# Chapter Two

### The First Confrontation

The time had come without any forewarning. Neil had no time to prepare. He could deal with a screaming Rhia, but a silent one might be unbearable. What if he could not reach her? Zoya had said Rhia was not responding. Neil cursed every vehicle blocking his way, banging the steering wheel with both fists, swearing. His breath came in gasps. His attempt to control himself seemed an impossible task.

He rubbed his forehead. What else had Zoya said? Whatever it was had triggered Rhia's memory. _Think!_ What could he tell Rhia? She hated lies. He would have to be upfront about the events preceding her accident. There could be no more pussy-footing around. He had to make her angry enough to fight back, to yell at him, and throw things, if necessary. He wanted her back alive and kicking.

At last he pulled into the parking lot of the beauty institute. He took a deep breath, walked inside to find Zoya sitting with head bowed, looking defenceless.

She stood up when she saw him and asked, "Neil, did you have a mistress?"

The blunt question hit like a punch in his face. This was no time for lies or cover-up. He looked her straight in the eye, the guilt sickening his stomach. "No, Zoya, I did not have a mistress, but I did have a one night stand and Rhia found out." Admitting his infidelity was one of the hardest things he had ever done.

As Zoya's eyes closed, tears escaped from beneath the lids. "Rhia remembered. I'm sure that is the reason for her condition. Please, try to work it out, _now_."

Zoya could not imagine the depth of her sister's pain. How could she console Rhia? Where would she find the words? Rhia's absolute devotion to Neil had been the family joke. Maybe, one should not trust so blindly or love so deeply; but then of what use was loving or trusting if one could not do them completely?

Neil started to speak, but Zoya raised her hand to stop him. Through clenched teeth, she said, "No, don't talk to me. I am angry and upset. I might say something that would hurt us all. Rhia is almost ready to leave. I will take her wherever she wants to go. It must be her decision. Her wounds are fresh and raw." Zoya glanced over Neil's shoulder, "Here she comes, now."

Neil looked where Zoya pointed. They watched in silence as a disoriented Rhia shuffled down the corridor towards them, appearing listless and more confused than since she had awakened. Neil's heart crashed against his ribs. He knew he had lost her. But this was only one lost battle in a war. He would retreat for now, prepare himself, then come back with more ammunition

He spoke to Zoya as he stepped back. "I will leave, for now. I can see Rhia won't come with me. Forgive me, if you can. I need her forgiveness as well as yours. I will earn it, whatever it takes." Neil squared his shoulders, ready to face an arduous task. "I am sorry for what happened." Before he walked through the door, he turned to Zoya. "I will speak to you later."

****

Rhia looked up and saw them, her sister immobile and her husband walking away. No! Neil was not her husband, anymore. He had stopped being her husband the moment he had developed feelings for that witch. She had no husband. This man was a stranger. She stopped in her tracks, looked desperately for an escape route, her body readied for flight. There was no way out. She had no option. Her body slumped. She shuffled towards the void which had become her life, _Where was her escape? Where would she go? Why did she wake up?_

****

Rhia had almost reached Zoya's side. Zoya looked at her intently. "Do you want to come with me to my place Rhia, or go to yours? Whatever you decide; it is up to you." She said softly.

"I want to...be alone. I _need_ to...be...alone," Rhia stammered

"No, I am not leaving you alone, anywhere; you come with me to my place. You will have your privacy. Raoul has gone abroad on a business trip. He will not return for a week or two. Leaving you alone is out of question."

Rhia nodded and muttered, "Okay. I don't have the energy to fight you. I am so tired. So...tired. I want to be alone."

"Let's go then. Would you like to eat something? You remember the Chinese place you loved so much? It is still open and the food is even better than before," Zoya proposed.

"No. I am not hungry; I don't feel like eating,"

This was not good. Rhia not hungry was like a starving lion which refused raw meat. She'd always had a hearty appetite, whether sad or happy. Zoya grasped her sister's arm, drawing her outside towards the car. The attentive driver saw them coming and ran to help. They remained silent as they were driven to Zoya's house.

Silence was once Rhia's bitter enemy. She had been smart with the weirdest sense of humour. Never silent, she'd always comment or have something to share when she was within the family circle. She was the original audio Facebooker personality, before Facebook was created. Zoya smiled Most of the time, Rhia laughed at her own jokes. Even when others did not find them funny, they joined in because Rhia's laughter was infectious.

This was not the time to advise or counsel Rhia. That would have to wait. Her still elder sister sat in deep sorrow, mourning not only for a life lost, but for betrayal by the man she had loved so deeply. Before Rhia could pick herself up and rebuild her life, she must first mourn her losses.

After the first shock, anger and disappointment over Neil's infidelity, Zoya felt sorry for him. She had witnessed her brother-in-law's self flagellations over the years, as he chose to live a cloistered life. She was sure he had broken off with that bitch. He had lived a Spartan life, making made no time for anything besides his children and work. He had even refused promotions that would take him away from Rhia, eventually starting his own company from scratch. Zoya had it on good authority that the money received as damages from the bus company, has been securely invested for Rhia, in her name. Her sister was financially secure. She did not need anyone's monetary support.

Zoya heaved a sigh. If only Rhia could forgive Neil. If only Neil could do something to make that happen. Zoya knew her sister well. Rhia would never be completely happy with anyone else. Neil was her heart and soul; he had been her best friend. The betrayal was unpardonable. But, there had to be a way to get things back to normal, or as near normal as possible. Neil had endured his punishment, and so had Rhia.

Zoya remembered a conversation that had marked her deeply and had been the basis of her own marital life. Rhia had recently got engaged and the family was still reeling under the quick turn of events. One lazy afternoon, the sisters were lounging on the porch at home, watching the birds flit about and sipping lemonade when Zoya curious, broke the silence. "How can you be so sure that Neil is the right one. I mean, you hardly know him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

Rhia reflected for a while, and then replied, "I don't know. There is something in me that pulls me to him. He is neither the most handsome nor the most charming. He is not perfect, but for him, I am willing to compromise. I am willing to walk with him. I cannot explain the feeling. It is not logical, I know. It comes from inside me, deep inside."

"What do you mean by that?" surprised, Zoya asked.

"It is a feeling, an instinct that tells me he is the right one."

"Ma told you marriage is not a fairy tale. There is no 'lived happily ever after" Zoya cautioned.

"Yes, I know, but we are willing to take the chance. I am willing. And what guarantee can anyone give me that it would work with someone else?" Rhia lifted an eyebrow enquiringly

"Aren't you being stubborn?" Zoya persisted.

"It is not like we are getting married tomorrow, you know. If things don't work out, if things go wrong, we will see then."

"I don't think I could entwine myself around someone as totally as you have Rhia. I am not losing you am I?"

"Never, you will never lose me, I will never lose you."

Rhia's life revolved around Neil since the day she decided to marry him. She had trusted him implicitly and completely.

_Rhia will even the scales._ Her sister could be very unforgiving and stubborn when hurt. And in the present mood, it would be impossible to set things straight. Time, the great healer, would surely help. But both Neil and Rhia were in their late fifties and time was short.

_There must be a catalyst! Maybe the grandchildren._ But Rhia had not shown much affection towards them, thus far. She had only looked at them in amazement.

There had to be a way. Zoya would phone Neil. Together they would come up with a solution. Watching him struggle through the past years had aroused a deep respect in her. Not only in her, but her husband, Raoul, as well. The men had become firm friends, as close as brothers.

Yes, she would help Neil. His parting words told her he had a plan. They would all pitch in, work together. It was unbelieveble how one incident could take such proportions that it could destroy the whole family! Reet and Roy had waited so long to have a whole family, now a separation was out of question.

They had reached Zoya's sumptuous home and pulled into her driveway. Again, Rhia still, displayed no emotion at anything, at either the new technology, or the new developments around them. Nothing seemed to surprise her. Reet had given her a mobile phone with basic functions, but she had not attempted to use it.

Zoya walked Rhia into her home then led her to her rooms. "Rhia how do you like these rooms? Would you like to stay here? Or share my rooms?"The room had an attached bathroom a sitting room with TV, and a door opening into the inner yard. Rhia would have all the privacy she wanted...under her eagle eye.

Rhia looked around indifferently, "It is nice. I'll stay here."

Zoya scanned the room for any blunt or dangerous objects that could be used to inflict bodily harm. She decided it would be best to spend the nights on the sofa.

"I would like to be alone, Zoya, if you don't mind."

Zoya didn't want to upset Rhia, "It's alright love. I will be a shout away. Let us have something to eat and then turn in for the night."

Rhia assented and sat on the bed.

Rhia would be in for a surprise if she thought she would be left alone. Zoya would not let it happen if she could help it. Slipping out of the room, Zoya went to search for the baby monitor her daughter had left. She would hide it in Rhia's room to keep tabs on her movements. This way she could comfort her when she needed consoling.

Zoya had assumed the role of James Bond, a spy on a mission, to save her sister's life.

****

Neil reached home safely. Over the past two decades, he had learned to empty his mind of everything except the task at hand. Shelved in the corner of his mind lay bitter regret and guilt, alive and kicking. To retain his sanity, he had conditioned himself to become a machine, focusing on one goal at a time. This was not the time to delve into past mistakes. It was the time to mend and make amends. He must plan a campaign and not allow doubt to take root to sabotage those plans. Sliding back into weakness and uncertainty would be so easy. No, he would be resolute, do whatever it took to bring his wife, back into his life. _Their_ _life._

He still loved Rhia as passionately as before. Their relationship had never been based on mere lust nor did it depend on the children; they had been the best of friends, who shared a deep connection beyond the physical. It was this connection that had kept him bonded to her through her deep sleep.

Neil pounded his fist against the steering wheel. "I will not lose Rhia again! Not now. Not in the autumn of our lives." At fifty-nine, life could be short. Who knew? If lucky, they could have twenty or thirty more years; but what if they didn't?

He could not do this alone; he needed help with this campaign. If only he could recruit Zoya and Raoul's help, the two people Rhia trusted, absolutely.

Feeling like a nervous adolescent, Neil acknowledged the pitfalls awaiting him. Through the lonely years of darkness, he'd had time to reflect on what had happened—how deeply he had hurt Rhia. He understood her grief and anger. If she had been the betrayer, he would have killed her. As a possessive man, he could not imagine her loving another. She belonged to him and him only! He even resented it if she even appreciated another man. He wanted to be the only sun in her life, the only star. And when she looked at him with those dreamy eyes, he could have slain a thousand dragons to protect her. Instead he had hurt her himself, deeply to the core of her being.

His past actions were inexcusable. He had strayed and betrayed the love of his life, negating sixteen years of marriage and the following twenty. They should be celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary this year, instead of... _this_.

Neil could not force Rhia to forgive him, but he could persuade her at least.He had his own theory on grief. Ridding oneself of grief was like slashing water with a sword. No matter how hard the force behind the strike, the water rushed back together unharmed, unchanged, and undiminished. To be rid of grief, one had to hang it out in the sunshine, expose it, allow the water to evaporate let the sun permeate it with laughter.

Grief would not disappear without effort. It required the penance of the offender and the iron will of the sufferer. If torn away, the negative emotion could cause more harm than good. Grief needed to be lured away with love and compassion

Neil experienced his own personal hell, when Rhia slipped into coma. Now, Rhia had to go through the same process as he had, before she could forgive him, and live life to the fullest.

Logic was the first bird to fly out of the window when trouble struck. The teary-eyed faces of his two children buried in his chest, had given him the will to live, to carry on and to overcome his anguish. Their warm hands clinging tightly to him, and their faith that he could repair things, gave him the strength to keep going. The trust in their eyes fuelled him, never letting him falter or fail. He owed Rhia his heart and fidelity. He owed it to her to make her deliriously happy, by giving her his total love, respect and devotion.

Neil had to constantly remind himself he was not responsible for the accident. It had taken him time to dissociate the two incidents, his infidelity and the accident. He had never manifested his loss in front of the kids. He grieved privately, in his bedroom, after the children were fast asleep. He went through Rhia's wardrobe, touching her clothes, trying to inhale her scent, arranging and rearranging the gifts he had bought for her these past twenty years, while reliving Rhia's cry for his love and her pain at his betrayal.

Neil shook his head to clear it. He got out of his car and strode into the house. In a secret corner of his bedroom, lay a letter, the last entry Rhia had written in her diary. He had torn it out and hidden it away. Every night before he fell asleep, he read it, as punishment. Twenty years of reading those words had not dimmed the stabs of pain. The letter had spurred him to become what he was today, a responsible father, he hoped, and a devoted husband. Somehow, he had to prove this to Rhia. He re-read the letter.

My dear Love,

My heart pains for days gone by, for opportunities missed sorely, for not having kissed you more passionately, for not hugging you more tightly, not loving you more savagely. For caresses few and far between. How did we end up like this, from passionate lovers to estranged bedfellows? From sleeping entwined in each other's' arms beneath one cover, to hugging opposite sides of the bed, clutching separate edges of the blankets. Our bodies lie mere inches apart, yet we live separate lives, sharing the same space, and yet...so disconnected.

Where are those days when we listened to each others' heartbeats, looked into each others' eyes and understood and empathised? Now the words fall into deaf ears, screams are unheard, and the agonies of the heart go unnoticed. Where are you hiding, my love, where I cannot, feel you or sense you? Why have you drifted so far away that I can no longer see you, even when you are in front of me? My heart longs for you, yet I shrink away every time you shrink from my touch. I shrivel every time you push me away then turn your back to me. I learned to love myself through your eyes and now I hate myself when I see the cold indifference reflected in yours.

What did I do to lose you? What did I do to lose your love? Was it something I said, something I did? Was it because I put on weight, or did you just become bored with me?

Every time you move away I sense it and fight tooth and nail to woo you back. I cry, I insult, I beg for you to be part of my life! Can't you understand that? Why would I fight for something I do not want? Yes, I want you my love. I keep searching in your eyes for the love you had for me. I keep searching for the man I love; and every time I meet blankness, I die a little more. My tongue becomes acidic, my words are meant to wound and lash, but you are not affected, my love. Why? Do I mean so little to you that I do not deserve even your anger? Why be with me then? Why don't you ask me to leave, or why don't you leave? Do you want me to make the first step? Are you too much of a coward to leave me and take the blame?

Our wedding vows mean nothing to you now I have become an intolerable nag. Why don't you say it? I am what you have made me! I am your product, and I hate what I have become! I wish I had more strength, the strength to walk away; but there is still a part of me which loves you, that longs for you. And I still die inside each time you push me away from you, from your life and your thoughts. How do I win you back? How do I get back your love? How do I seduce you, my love?

I don't know what to do, and what to say. I am imprisoned in an unbreakable vicious circle and cannot smash the pattern. My pride has taken a beating. I am beaten. I don't know what to do! Please, at least, tell me in what direction to go. I am addicted to you, my love, and I cannot break the bonds. I cannot leave you. I cannot see my life without you. Even the emotional lashes are better than a future where you are not there. I don't know how to live without you. Tell me, speak to me; don't turn your eyes away from me. Why kill me so silently with every passing moment? Finish me off once and for all. Say it...please!

I still love you, my love. I wonder if I am not a masochist. Why can't I walk away? Hear me, my love, before I break or before you and I push each other so far away there's no way back. We have become enemies, my love. Indifference and resentment are entwined under the same cover, in the same bed, in the same space.

Though our bonds have changed to bondage they are still strong. Goodnight, my love. Till tomorrow, where I will find more issues over which to fight and more ways to earn your disdain.

Your loving, yet unloved,

Wife and enemy.

Neil refolded the letter then put back into its hiding place. _Rhia,_ _I refuse to be your enemy._ _I will get you back._

Neil sighed _._ Many battles lay ahead. He would win some, possibly lose some; but the final victory would be his. He would win back Rhia's love and her trust. That was indisputable.

Exhausted Neil flopped in his bed hugging a pillow sheathed with Rhia's favourite t-shirt and scented with her signature perfume.

He had been hugging this pillow for the last twenty years!

****

Rhia exiled Zoya from her bedroom. She needed to be alone to work on her anger and pain. She lay down in bed, burying her head under the pillows. It was just yesterday, for her—the day she'd ordered Neil out of their home and her life. Time had frozen. In the process she'd lost twenty years. Rhia was stuck in the past. Various scenes stormed her brain, whirling through, tormenting her and tearing her apart, while her still-frail body racked with sobs.

Zoya remained upstairs listening, tortured by the sobs filtering through the baby monitor. Neil checked in with Zoya. It took every ounce of his self control not to rush down to Zoya's place to console his wife.

Family members remained in their separate homes united only by pain. Neil and Zoya agreed; Reet and Roy should stay away from Rhia for the night. Roy understood the situation, but a furious Reet yelled, "She is my mother. No one has the right to keep me from seeing her!"

Reet's husband, Adi, reasoned with his wife and finally calmed her down. He barely understood the situation, himself but had great respect for his father-in-law's wisdom. He trusted Neil to take the best decisions in all situations. Adi took Reet to dinner. He did not want the children to see their mother upset and ask questions.

That night might be the turning point for Rhia and Neil. It was up to Rhia to decide their future. For her, the situation had not changed. She ordered Neil out of her life twenty years ago, and she had reverted back to that point in time.

Throughout the night, she alternated between crying and trying to concentrate on the best solution for her problem. Reflecting on her past with Neil, she knew she must soon decide if a future with him was possible. In her mind, she still saw herself as she looked two decades ago, when she was younger. Much younger.

Rhia got up from the bed to walk to the full length mirror. She bravely checked her face and her hair, and became distraught by every flaw. It was difficult to look at this stranger. The woman was her, and yet not her. She touched her hair. This stranger had less hair; her luxuriant mane had shed to leave a head full of hair, but not the shiny locks Neil had loved to run his fingers through. She touched her forehead. Her skin was still smooth, yet it had aged. Dull, almost lifeless eyes stared back. Her cheeks were neither as rosy, nor her cheekbones as defined as before. She looked fifty, a well-preserved fifty-year-old woman. Rhia shut her eyes at the harsh reality.

She tugged off her clothes till she stood stark naked before the mirror. Her neck showed signs of sagging; her breasts hung lower now. They had lost their tone, their firmness. These very breasts which had nursed her babies looked depleted and defeated. She touched them then slid her hands down to her stomach. It was still flat, but the skin was loose. She looked down at her thighs and it was the same story. Years of inactivity and a controlled intravenous fluid diet, had left her body thin and her skin loose. This desiccated person was not her. She had been slim, maybe a little on the plump side, and she had loved herself like that.

This was the present, the _real_ present, and she had to live in it. She had no choice about the matter. She was forced to live in this body she did not recognise—live with this face which looked more like an elderly relative's than her own. While she studied her reflection, absorbing the details of her face and body, she forced herself not to flinch or close her eyes. A half hour later she was able to accept herself without disgust. She dressed and sat on the edge of her bed.

Rhia had reached a decision. She must put aside her role as a wife and lover. She was a parent first; she had to think like one, like a mother and a grandmother. There was so much to catch up on. Her relationships with her children...her grandchildren. She tried to calm down, to steady her heartbeat. She did not need a heart attack so soon after coming out of a twenty-year coma.

A hunger started to gnaw at Rhia, a hunger for her children, a hunger for her grandchildren. She wanted to be with them, wanted them to share with her every moment she had missed. Now that she knew why she disliked Neil, she felt better. She would deal with that later.

Her first priority was her children. Had this attitude pushed Neil away? Had she been too involved with her role as a mother, a parent, a homemaker, that she had forgotten to be the lover Neil needed? These questions would have to be answered. But, not now...not now. _Now_ was the time to strengthen herself, to accept her situation—to swallow her anger. After Rhia thought long and hard, considering what lay in the depths of her heart, she completely changed her focus. Setting aside her ego, her own needs and wishes, she rearranged her priorities. After deciding on her course of action, she fell asleep.

In her room, Zoya listened and wondered about the silence, but since she heard no movements, she relaxed. She picked up the phone. "Hello, Neil. There is no sound coming from Rhia's room. Now, I think she has finally gone to sleep."

Zoya heard a sigh of relief before Neil replied in a weary voice, "Thank you, Zoya...I appreciate your caring for Rhia. I only wish there was some way to...."

"Not now, Neil." Zoya cut the conversation short and hung up the phone. She was not ready to listen to Neil's confession and regrets, just yet.

****

The next morning, Zoya found a calm Rhia at the breakfast table. They chatted on mundane topics for a while before Rhia hesitated then asked, "Zoya, is it okay if I stay with you for a while?"

Zoya nearly jumped with joy, "Of course. Yes, stay as long as you want, darling. Mi casa es tu casa!"

Rhia smiled, "Thank you, Zoya, thanks for everything. I need to be on familiar ground and I need you most of all. Her voice broke. I—I won't make it ...on my own."

Zoya was touched. "You will make it, Rhia. You have all of us cheering for you, but most importantly, you are strong."

The sisters remained silent, savouring a moment of peace after long days of disquiet. Zoya was relieved she could see the light at the end of the tunnel, while Rhia contemplated the long, arduous, journey ahead.

# Chapter Three

### The family settles

A month later.

Over the past weeks, Rhia had become quite proud of her slim body and her firmer skin. She worked out, toned her muscles, and had become stronger. Her grey hair, which at first sent her into a screaming frenzy, was now colored beautifully with not a single grey hair visible. She looked good for a fifty-seven-year-old and this helped her accept her age, more graciously.

Rhia still made her home with Zoya, her sister, who had become her mother, her friend, and her therapist, the one who gently acquainted Rhia to her new world. They cried over the loss of their parents, beloved relatives and friends, and they even visited friends, uncles, aunts, and cousins Rhia had not seen in two decades.

Slowly, Rhia's social circle rebuilt. Time had moved on and every family member stayed busy with his or her own life. Rhia was touched when she heard stories about neighbours and colleagues who had helped her family while she was incapacitated. She visited each of them to thank them personally.

One neighbour bluntly asked why she had not moved in with her husband. With Zoya by her side, Rhia managed to evade answering awkward questions.

Neil had taken care of his wife's investments and finances while she lay sleeping. He gave her the portfolio; Rhia had total control over her assets. She was financially fixed which meant she did not need to seek employment.

****

"Ma, you sit down, it's ok. We will set the table." Or "Ma no need to cook, we are here." Or still "Ma don't lift that, it is heavy!" Rhia was not allowed to do anything but sit down and be with her family.

Rhia lived parallel lives—one in which she was a fifty-seven years old grandmother, readjusting to her family, to the modern world—the other life was the familiar one she's lived twenty years ago, in the 90s decade, trapped in a crazy time warp.

She found the new relationships difficult to maintain. She had been a mother for such a short time before the accident. Now she had three adorable kids calling her "Granny." Rhia modelled herself after her own grandmother, a wonderful woman who had been all cuddles and kisses, someone who sincerely believed her grandchildren were mini-Einsteins, Neil Armstrongs and Peles, rolled up into one bundle of perfection.

Adjusting to the title of 'mother-in-law' was a challenge. Rhia's daughter-in-law looked wary and her son-in-law kept his distance. Both were pleasant enough, careful not to say or do the wrong thing. She felt awkward in their presence as she was sure they did. As Rhia was always surrounded by all her family members, she did not have the privacy to really get acquainted with them. The grandkids were with her almost all the time, getting to know this grandma who had never seen a laptop. They found her funny and took it as their personal responsibility to teach her to use the twenty-first century gadgets.

Reet and Roy did not question their mother's decision of living apart from their father. Apparently, Neil had asked them not to interfere, to let their Ma be. Roy obeyed. He was always present to cut Reet off when she tried to bring up the subject

Within the family circle, Rhia had never been one to remain silent. Now, she only spoke when spoken to She decided to play spectator, or at least a minor character She would sit back and observe them A huge challenge since her family had never been stranger to Rhia's opinions if she was passionate about them.

She had been friendly, easy to get acquainted with; but the deeper layers she reserved for close family members. The deepest layer had been open only to Neil, till his betrayal completely seared her, wounding her and destroying her trust. Keeping mum had become a way of life just before the accident. Rhia had told no one about her inner hell perpetrated by Neil's infidelity.

The last six months of her life before the accident, had turned into hell. He strutted about a superior attitude towards her as his salary suddenly shot up. In the privacy of their home, thankfully in the absence of the children, Neil belittled her opinions. Worse he rejected her every time she wanted to get close to him or make love. It was a subtle process. She suddenly became _the one who no longer understood him, had no idea of the pressures he was under, she was insensitive and a nag._ All this cut her profoundly.

But she gave back as good as she got. She no longer recognised the man she had married. Hell she did not recognise the woman she had turned into. This yelling woman could not be her. Sometimes she wondered if she was the one wrong or going crazy. His systematic refusal for intimacy aroused her suspicions. At last, when she had gathered the courage to do so, a direct confrontation revealed the truth. They had become bitter enemies using words as swords, wounding and drawing blood when the children were out of ear shot.

Added to Neil's betrayal were the twenty years of life she had lost. Years she could never get back. Zoya constantly reminded Rhia the accident had not been Neil's fault. But, for her, it was difficult to separate the two. Still, she could not tell him to walk away, ask for a divorce. Not now, when she saw her children and grandchildren with joy in their eyes, their smiles lighting the room, their laughter filling her heart. She could not take away their happiness. She had no right to do so.

Rhia avoided speaking directly to Neil, and thank God, the children and grandchildren never left her alone with him. Reet stuck to her as much as possible, and Roy hovered over her like a satellite. Her children nurtured her like mother hens with their precious chicks, loving her with all their hearts.

Though Rhia felt blessed to have her children nearby, at times her heart ached for the years she had missed with them while in a coma. She consciously avoided dwelling on the past, because she could not handle the pain.

As she constantly continually deflected Neil's attempts to get closer, to speak to her, he had recently stopped trying. For some peculiar reason, it upset her. If he really cared, he would have tried harder. Although, she had no intention of speaking to him!

Mixed feelings stormed inside her. She wanted to know how Neil had managed without her, what he had done in the past twenty years, and at the same time, she hoped he had suffered every moment. He had thought looking after two children singlehandedly was easy. She wanted a detailed account of their children's lives during the time she could not be there for them.

Rhia felt like a time bomb that could explode any time. Her other life—her relationship with Neil—she wanted to end. She couldn't stand the sight of him. She hoped his mistress had turned into an ugly, misshapen woman! It would serve her right.

Rhia's wounds were raw and bleeding. She hated Neil, detested and abhorred him! Sometimes she even wished.... _No! I will not go there._ That train of thought made Rhia worry she was teetering on the edge. She needed to get help before she exploded.

The grandkids shy at first, now tattooed themselves to her. Reet's daughter, Sameera was eleven. Her son Jas was nine. Roy's son Kevin was five. The three children were close. They formed an unbreakable band around Rhia. They constantly bombarded her with questions. Many of those questions stumped Rhia.

Sameera who preferred to be called Sam asked, "What is heaven like? Did you meet God while you were sleeping? Did you have a boyfriend when you were a teenager?" Before Rhia could answer Jas would interrupt with his own question.

"Did you like doing homework?" Rhia would have no time to catch her breath when little Kevin would tug her sleeves and ask put forward his own query, "Did you miss us?"

These incredible questions required Rhia to think before she answered. Her grandkids introduced her to the virtual world through Facebook. Rhia soon became an ardent Face booker, seeking out friends and relatives scattered all over the planet and communicating with them.

A month of intense socializing left Rhia drained. She could see an adverse effect on the grandchildren as well. Their daily schedules had been upset. Every day was party time with Granny. Shadows under their eyes were enough proof this whirlwind needed to stop soon.

Then there was the issue with Rhia's living situation. As much as she loved her sister, she could not live with Zoya, forever. Zoya's husband had been a visitor in his own home for a while. Raoul's extensive business interests had him hopping from city to city; but soon he would be home for a long haul. Rhia was the sister Raoul never had. He loved her as much as Zoya did. However, Rhia wanted them to have their privacy. She was stronger now, ready to move on, which brought her to a dilemma.

She would not live with her children and disturb their routines. Neither would she move in with Neil. That was out of the question. The children had come to accept her staying at Zoya's, knowing she needed the emotional stability her sister's home provided, the stability recommended by both the doctor and her counsellor.

Rhia had given it some thought, planning her move carefully. The next step was to speak to her children. She slid an arm around her granddaughter, hugged her close, and kissed her forehead.

"Sam, darling, please call all the grownups here, and I want you kids to go in the other room. I need to speak to them first. Is it alright, Love?"

Sam nodded then smiled. She dashed out of the room to round up the grown-ups. Being the eldest grandchild made her the star of the family. She loved for Granny to ask her opinion, and speak to her with respect.

Since Rhia was at Reet's place, Sam ushered her brother and cousin to her room to keep them out of the way. The three kids were proud of their grandma. They liked her a lot. Furthermore they had become popular at school after their classmates heard their grandmother's story from them and the media.

The adults soon gathered around Rhia, eyeing her suspiciously, and waiting expectantly.

****

As they knew Rhia well, Neil and Zoya smelled something preparing. They could almost see the cogs turning in her head. Zoya and Neil looked at each other, silently acknowledging a change was about to be made.

Reet knew something was wrong between her parents. She saw the aloofness in her Ma towards her Dad. Until recently, Dad had been active. Not anymore. It was his passive watchfulness that disconcerted her.

Roy's heart chilled. Since Ma had awakened, he was eager to see his parents reunited, to become the family they had been before the tragedy struck. When he searched his Dad's eyes, he found trust, strength and an unyielding determination. Reassured that Dad would not let Ma go, he smiled. Roy caught his aunt's eyes. Zoya answered with a tiny knowing smile. They were accomplices in a plot. The three Musketeers on a crusade. The battle was on and Roy loved it!

****

Rhia felt tension in the room. She needed to choose her words carefully. She took a deep breath then cleared her throat before she spoke in a serious tone. "Alright, my people, I have something to say. Please listen attentively and please, please do not interrupt! I will be direct and plain."

Rhia took another deep breath looking at each of them intently before continuing,

"You have all gone out of your way for me. Your family lives have been disrupted. The children's schedules have been affected."

"Mama..." Reet protested.

"Reet let me speak." Rhia said firmly.

Reet shut her mouth mutinously.

Rhia continued, "First, I want things to be back to normal in your lives. I am not going away now. I am here to stay with you. I am yours, and you can visit me any time. But, I want these daily family gatherings to end. I want you all to refocus on your lives. Get some rest. Do you understand? I want no arguments on that score."

Rhia fixed her gaze on Roy and Reet. Her kids knew that look. It meant no arguments and total acceptance of whatever she decreed. Rhia dropped her next bomb. "Secondly, I cannot live at Zoya's place forever."

"But...Rhia ...!"

"No, Zoya, no arguments, please!" Rhia was back in control of her life, and back to being the elder sister. "I will move out as soon as I find a place of my own." Every jaw in the room dropped, except Neil's. Rhia had stunned her audience.

The room froze. Each member looked at her dazed. She was not moving back with her husband.

****

Neil silently rejoiced. Rhia, living alone would be an unexpected bonus. No more hiding behind Zoya or the kids. He could pester, tease, and seduce her to his heart's content, ignite her fire and blow her out of her mind. He looked straight at Roy, giving him an imperceptible nod. He knew Roy understood when he did a quick thumbs up, then forced a blank expression.

Reet tapped her right foot rhythmically against the floor, like a woodpecker worrying on a piece of wood, a childhood habit that showed she was not happy.

"Ma!" she exploded. "Why do you want to live alone? You have a home with Dad!"

Roy put up his hand to stop Reet's protest "Let Ma do what she wants, Reet. Stop bossing! Let her make her decisions. It is not easy for her to adapt to this modern age and world. If she wants to live alone for a while, it is alright. We are just a phone call away."

"Ma, I know just the place for you. Do you want to buy or rent?" Roy continued.

Reet shook her head, still dazed, then looked her father for support. "Dad, say something! How can you two live separately?"

Neil locked his gaze on Reet. He had never allowed his children to question their mother whatever their problems were between them.

"It will be as your Ma wants. We will respect her decision, Reet." Ending on a softer note, he added, "You are not losing her, so please calm down."

Outwardly Neil appeared calm, but beneath the surface his mind raced. If he had anything to say about it, he would not allow Rhia to live on her own, without his watchful protection. She was an angry, hurt tigress—still beautiful and sexy, in his eyes. Rhia was vulnerable in this new world.

Neil sent Roy a silent message, hoping he caught the meaning.

Roy seemed to understand. He would not let his mother think up another scheme to further distance herself from Dad. "Ma, if you want to buy a place, I know just one. It's not far from here, and in a safe location. If you want to see it, we can check it out tomorrow."

****

Reet was unhappy about the situation but she was outnumbered. Besides, she and did not want to create a scene with the children being upstairs. She could not understand her brother's and father's reaction to Ma's decision. In the past, she, Dad, and Roy had enacted a covenant. Certain issues remained among only the three, never to be discussed outside their close-knit circle, not even with her spouse or Roy's. Not even with the children or Zoya, her surrogate mother and aunt. Her eyes flashed as she glared at her Dad and brother. She would deal with them later.

Her aunt took a deep breath. Zoya had remained quiet throughout the drama. "This is an excellent idea, Rhia. The most important thing, before anything else, is that you find yourself. Being on your own for a while will help you adjust to your new environment faster."

Reet whipped around to look at her aunt. _Was she out of her mind? How dare her aunt say such a thing! Had they all gone crazy?_ She bit into her bottom lip to keep silent, swallowing the words threatening to gush out, her feet still tapping furiously punishing the wooden floor.

****

Relieved that revealing her plans had gone smoothly, Rhia spoke up. "So, it is decided then. Roy, if you are free tomorrow, we can check out the place you mentioned. The sooner we get this done, the better it will be for all of us."

She had expected resistance from her husband and Roy. Neil's support in her decision baffled her. He had neither protested nor shown disapproval. Maybe, he no longer cared for her. That stung.

Anger rose in Rhia's chest. _Or maybe...maybe, Neil is still involved with that bitch._

Neil could almost hear Rhia's thoughts. His wife was in for a surprise, a big surprise. He was not same man she'd known twenty years ago. He had lost her once. He would not lose her again. She was awake, and there was not one moment to waste.

Hardened by guilt following Rhia's accident, he had become obsessed to make amends for his wrong-doing. Neil had waited for her to awaken every day over the past twenty years.

_This is my time, and no one will take it from me_.

****

Roy took an appointment for his mother to meet with one of his friends, a real estate agent for the next day. Previously, as a potential buyer, Roy had visited the property he planned to show his mother. His restaurants had taken off, and his shares in his father's business had made him a wealthy man. Roy's Dad had taught him to work hard, intelligently, and to invest and diversify, as well as take an active part in benevolent work. Ma's accident had been a wake-up call for the family to save for a rainy day.

Had the bus company not footed his mother's hospital bills, the family would have been incapable of keeping her alive so long on a sole salary. But, thanks to Dad's foresight, hard work and guidance, they had become an affluent family. He had taught them to be financially wise His Ma's home would just be an investment. Soon she would soon be reunited with Dad. Roy believed that with all his heart.

Roy met his friend at the appointed time. Together they showed Rhia around the housing complex, inside a gated community near the beach. It was an ideal place for her. The exclusive community included a common gym, swimming pool, mini-golf course, and a club open exclusively to the residents. Above all, the level of security was high, which was the main reason for his choice. Roy could sleep in peace knowing his Ma lived in a safe neighbourhood.

"Ma, how do you like it? Do you think you could live here? It is cosy and a nice place. I think you will comfortable here." Roy asked her seriously. His friend had gone and he could talk to his Ma openly.

Rhia smiled at her son. "Yes my Darling. I love it; this is the ideal place for me. How did you know it?"

Roy looked at his Ma fondly, drawing her into a hug, "You always loved the sea, Ma. You met Dad on the beach. We practically grew up on the beach, too."

Both mother and son exchanged tender looks, remembering the days they spent almost every weekend at their small cottage. Roy did not dare suggest that Ma live there. The cottage was in a remote place, one unsafe for a woman living on her own.

They walked along the beach, side by side. Roy made sure the home he showed his Ma was at the far end of the complex, and the only home nearby was vacant. Ma would have only one neighbour...Dad.

His mother had been malleable, easy to persuade. However, he knew he could go only so far with her. Beneath the soft exterior, lay a strong, steel core.

Ma stopped walking and turned to him. "Where is Reet? She hasn't called today. Very unusual. Is she very busy at work?"

To avoid another assault from his sister, before leaving for the meeting with the real estate agent, Roy had switched off his Mom's mobile phone and put his own on silent. Reet's interference was the last thing he needed. He questioned himself about his actions, but concluded the end results justified the means.

All is fair in love and war.

Roy grinned sheepishly. "No, Ma. I switched off our phones. I didn't want anyone to disturb us today. I wanted you all to myself."

Rhia looked at her son with adoration. She loved him so much. He had dropped everything to be with her. She was learning to know the man he had become, and was proud of him. Roy and Reet appeared happy, and dedicated to their families. Her son-in-law and daughter-in-law did not begrudge her taking her children's time. They were always affable. Rhia felt blessed with her new-found family. She walked along the beach with her arm around her son's waist, chatting and listening to his incessant chatter.

****

Roy was deliriously happy. He patted himself on the back. He had clinched the deal on his mother's house without a problem. The property papers would be ready to sign within a week. The interior decorating would be Reet's job.

This could present a problem. It was not the time for Roy to reveal the truth about their parents' problems, if he had to at all. He had tried to tell her once, years ago, but she refused to hear it. If the truth was revealed now, Reet would explode. He did not know the reasons for his parents' disagreement. He did not wish to know now. If Reet found out, Dad would have to handle her anger, as well as Ma's. Poor Dad!

Roy pondered on who would be the best person to deal with Reet. Aunt Zoya. Yes! Reet looked up to her aunt, and usually accepted her decisions without question. _Good. One problem solved_

Roy tightened his hold around his Ma's shoulder, hugging her. He kissed her cheek. Very demonstrative, he waited until he and Ma were alone, to show her affection. He had to preserve his macho image. A thirty-ish man could not be seen hanging onto his mother like an appendage!

She had never been like other mothers he'd known. Instead, she possessed a childlike quality, joining in the games he and Reet played. She stopped being an adult the second she started playing with them.

He hated to admit it, but he and Reet had sometimes bullied her when Dad was not around, but she'd accepted the bullying gallantly. Roy was not proud about the way they treated her those times. They never needed to ask their friends over to play; Ma was their third teammate. She was the pillar around which everything revolved.

Roy tried to think of a night that he had gone to sleep without Ma yelling and threatening severe punishment because he refused to go to bed at the designated time. There was none. She had always been home, in body and in spirit.

His mother was an unusual cook, to say the least. A master at designing great burgers and boiling instant noodles. And her omelettes were out of this world. Every dish was novel since she constantly innovated. Some were eatable and some, to put it politely, were not.

Roy inherited from her creativity in the kitchen. It was that which had opened doors where his career was concerned. He had begun as a chef in someone else's restaurant, and now owned a famous chain of restaurants.

"Ma are you sure of this? You know you can move in with me or Reet."

"I know love, but I need to get my bearings and I won't get them with all of you babying me. I need to find my own foothold."

"Will you be able to live on your own? Alone? You are not used to be without Dad. And things are so different now. The world has changed Ma. It is rougher, faster and more dangerous now."

"Roy love, I'll be ok, but I do promise you, if at any moment I feel unsafe or lost, I will let you know. Then, we will see what to do."

"Promise Ma? You will?"

"I will my love. I promise. Now tell me. How did you meet Mila and decide to marry so young."

"Young! Ma! We got married when I was twenty four. Dad was that age when you got married to him."

"Oh Lord, it is true. So tell me?"

"She came to my restaurant with her friends to celebrate a birthday. And that night I was short of waiters. It was a frantic night. I was managing the kitchen and the seating arrangements. When her table's order was ready, I had to wait at her table."

Rhia laughed, "Alright, then?"

"I waited at her table the whole night. I could not take my eyes off her. Her friends made fun of me. Poor waiter pining for a princess. I eavesdropped on their conversation and learnt almost all that had to be learnt." Roy gave her a Machiavelli grin.

"Roy, you didn't!"

"I did Ma, I did. I learnt she was single, I learnt she had her own business, I learnt her name, surname and home address"

"How?"

"Well, they were paying with their bank card that is how I got to know her details."

"Roy, I am shocked. I Am Shocked!"

"What could I do Ma, I was not about to let her walk away from my life!"

"You are like your Dad, love. You look like him too."

"Ma, I am more handsome than him. Look at me properly; I have your eyes and your long eyelashes. Girls loved that."

"Yes my love you are much more handsome than your Dad, and vainer."Rhia soothed her peacock's feathers. Roy still wanted to be the first man in her life. He had clung to her like a limpet when he was a toddler, always wrapped around some part of her body, her ankles, then her calves, then her thighs, then her waist, wherever he could reach comfortably, till he over shot her in height. Rhia smiled to herself. She remembered her son's antics; the time when Roy grabbed her ankles when he had started crawling, bawling over a toy she had taken away His first day at preschool, he held her knees so unyieldingly, not letting her go. She had to bite her lips and hold on to her tears when the teacher unravelled Roy and took him screaming away to his class. She had broken down and cried much more that her son had done. He had stopped crying after five minutes. She had wept on Neil's shoulders for an hour!

The first time he had a tooth extracted, he had held her tightly around her waist. His sobs muffled in her flesh, while her tears flowed down silently. She could have killed the dentist when he inserted the damn needle into her son's soft gums. Neil had stopped her from rushing to protect her son. Roy had stopped crying when he reached her height. Rhia smiled to herself and looked fondly at her baby who was still full of himself.

"Mom! I am better looking. But Dad has a flatter tummy than me. Did you notice?"

"He never had much of a paunch; at least I have never seen him with one."

"He never had one. He exercises daily and he has better biceps and butt than me. Did you see?" Roy pointed out.

"Ehh, no I haven't really noticed."

"How did you feel when Kevin was born?" Rhia diverted the conversation to Roy's greatest pride, his son. Roy understood the ploy and played along. His Ma was not ready to discuss his Dad but at least he had drawn her attention to his physical attributes. His Dad was not that old, he was still virile and an attractive man. He hoped his Ma would check out his Dad's assets the next time she met him.

Roy exhaled a long breath. There was a lot of work to do to reunite his parents. Part of his scheme was to plan a menu, then have their meals delivered at both homes. His parents had better things to preoccupy themselves with than slaving over a hot stove. Things like working on their relationship and getting back together.

_His Ma, his Ma...._ These words echoed through his heart and soul. Mom, Mum, Ma, his first love. He had been saying these words silently all these years, and now it felt wonderful to say them openly and joyfully.

Roy had not been this happy nor felt this complete for a long time. He had been close to his Ma. She had been his shield, staunch defender and protector, as well as his worst enemy, when he got out of line when he was a kid. They had to behave impeccably in public. Now, as a parent, he appreciated her high standards and the demands she placed on them. All problems, fights, and disagreements were discussed and solved at home. The world at large was not privy to the family's internal affairs. Their home was a cocoon, a shield from the stressed-out world. It was their refuge where they vowed to help each other and to destroy all obstacles as a team. Home a place where they could freely express themselves, be their true selves. They were a family, bonded forever. Ma's rules were still valid today.

He noticed his mother's struggle to accept both him and Reet as adults. Instead of treating him as the small brat he'd been before she slipped into a coma, she made sure she measured her words before saying them. He respected her immensely. Both he and Reet were aware of the effort she put forth.

Her pursed lips accompanied by bouts of frequent silence, proved his mother wanted to say something, but she would not. He appreciated her ability to adapt to new circumstances and respected her wish for privacy to digest all the events that had occurred. To zoom from the age of thirty-seven to fifty-seven in a blink of an eye, had to be very hard, and mind boggling.

Ma had always been an expert at camouflage; you could only know what she allowed you to. Only his Dad and Aunt Zoya could pierce through the thick veil shrouding her real feelings.

For a moment Roy wondered what had caused his Ma to take such a drastic step to throw Dad out of the house. Was there really a woman involved, as he suspected? He could not figure out any other reason to cause his parents to separate.

He shook his head trying to push away these unhealthy thoughts. His parents' problem was theirs to solve. His problem was to get them back together.

Roy slipped his arm around his mother and pulled her close, turning her around, "Are you ready to head back?"

She nodded her agreement, falling into step and sliding her arm back around him. Now, Roy towered over her. His arms easily sliding over her thin shoulders and her head snug under the crook of his armpit. He had become her protector and his shoulders were there for her if she needed. She felt the silent message. The bond between them was unbroken. Time had only fine tuned it and the roles were reversed now.

Savouring the moment, silently they walked back to the home Ma had chosen. Roy smiled... the house he insisted she chose. He mentally planned his next procedures as they strolled along the beach.

He had things to do.

Step 1: Phone Dad and tell him to buy the house next to Mom ASAP. No, immediately.

Step 2: Phone Aunt Zoya and ask her to deal with Reet.

At this point they did not need anyone interfering with their plan.

****

Reet raked shaky fingers through her hair. She was fuming mad. The world and its mother had gone crazy! Even Zoya went along with the others on her Ma's decision to move out on her own. Was she the only one sane?

How dare they allow her Ma to live alone! She was like a newborn baby, helpless and...vulnerable. This was unimaginable.

Her parents had already lived apart for twenty years. _Why would they want to live in separate homes! Now they had a chance to start all over again. How could they? How could they work out their problems when they lived in separate homes?_

Reet fought the urge to throttle Roy for aiding and encouraging their mother in this madness. She and Roy had always united against their parents. How could he swap sides, especially on something like this? She stormed about inside her office, pacing to and fro, stamping the floor. If only she could break something! She kicked at the table legs and chairs.

"Ouch!" Reet grabbed her throbbing toes. Ugh! She'd scuffed her shoe. As she moaned, still gripping the pulsating foot, her mobile phone rang. She hobbled to get her bag. Since she had been unable to reach both her Dad and Roy all morning—surely Roy's doing—and her Ma's phone appeared to be switched off, this had to be someone else.

"Hello."

Aunt Zoya. Reet inhaled deeply. "Hello, Aunt, how are you?" _Was Aunt Zoya in on this too?_ Reet swallowed her anger. She was too upset to call her, "Darling" or "Love" as she usually did

****

Zoya noted the lack of endearments, but she understood Reet's feelings. Rhia opting to live away from Neil was not an easy decision for Reet to accept. How could she convince her niece to accept Rhia's choice without revealing the true nature of the situation? The family did not need any more rifts. Reet was cut from the same cloth as Rhia. She could be unforgiving when hurt.

"I am alright Reet. Are you free this evening? Can we meet after you finish work, say about ...five-ish, at the café outside your office building?" She waited, certain Reet would not refuse.

"Yes, of course. I will see you there. Will you be alone?"

Zoya sensed Reet did not want her Dad or Roy to be present when they met. "Yes, love. Your mother has an appointment at the spa, today. She is taking care of herself like a super model. No wonder your Dad can't take his eyes off her. Yes, I will be alone," Zoya reassured her. "We need to talk."

"Yes, I agree. I need to understand some things." Reet replied firmly

Zoya hung up and started making plans how to bring Reet over to their way of thinking. It would not be easy to do and still be sensitive to her niece's feelings, but she thought her plan might work.

****

Reet jotted down a list of questions to ask her aunt. She could hardly wait until five o'clock; neither could she get free before that time.

Like all children, Reet could not imagine her life without her Ma, even though she had lived the past twenty years with only Ma's breathing shell. Dad was Dad, but Ma was the centre of their world. She had been omniscient, checking her daughter's diet, clothes, makeup, homework.

Ma was both helper and confidante. Whenever Reet wanted to crucify a classmate or a teacher, she had her mother's ears. Ma would listen to all her huffing and puffing, agree and sympathize with her, then insidiously show her the other side of the story.

Ma had been strict, fair and totally lovable. When you needed a hug, a kiss, your head massaged, cuddles, petting...whatever, Ma was available. Of course she had her moods. She could get cranky, and her short temper was legendary. But, Ma cooled down fast, never sulked or allowed anyone else to sulk. She could be unreasonable too, especially before her periods. Then she became an oversensitive tigress quick to take offence ready to either attack or cry. Ma then transformed into a walking dynamite stick, looking for a flame to explode.

Reet smiled recalling how her Ma would ask for their patience and understanding during those times. Reet suffered from bad PMS, too, using the same technique as her Ma to cope with it.

She fondly remembered her parents as a solid couple. When she and Roy were small, their parents' bedroom door had always been open. They could walk in any time, even sleep with their parents. However, once Roy turned six, their parents closed the door. At first, both she and her brother were gravely offended; they felt excluded from their parents' warmth. But soon, they got used to it, especially once their rooms were refurbished to their own desires.

After that, when their parents' bedroom door was closed for the night, only a calamity could open it. Their Dad installed internal phones in her and Roy's bedrooms so they could be reached in case of emergencies. Their parents had fiercely guarded their privacy.

Reet blushed embarrassed by the thought of her parents making love. As, an adult woman and parent, she had come to appreciate her parents' way of running the family.

There were fights, and yes, there had been a coldness running between her parents just before the accident. But, that was their private problem. She wanted to turn back the clock, have her parents back together, under one roof, and happy. She wanted to be a teenager again, and bury her head in her mother's chest, feel her love and care. She had missed her Ma so much during the last twenty years. No event in her life had been totally happy and complete. And there had been a time in her life, when she had needed help the most. It had been the most traumatic period of her existence. She had never felt like an orphan before, but for a moment she had felt all alone and abandoned. Her Dad had seen her deep pain, she had confided in him. He had engulfed her in his arms and shielded her as much as he could. Now, stress was the last thing she wanted when they were all together again.

Reet checked the clock again. _Five o'clock is so far away._

****

Zoya sat in a secluded corner of the café. She had arrived a bit early and had grilled sandwiches and coffee read for them. A hungry Reet was a difficult Reet. In all respects she was like her mother. She looked like a younger version of Rhia. Zoya was surprised that Rhia had not noticed how alike she and Reet were. For Rhia, Reet was an absolutely stunning and the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.

Reet entered the café, her piercing eyes scanning the room for her. Zoya smiled and waved. It would not be an easy task to get Reet to agree to her plan, but impossible did not exist in their family's vocabulary. Her sister was living proof of that.

Reet sat down opposite her aunt, shadows under her eyes and her forehead furrowed. Zoya was overcome with emotion. Reet was angry, tired and lost. In these last twenty years, Reet had become her daughter, but now Rhia was back. Would this bond become diluted? Zoya hoped she would not lose her niece's affection. Their close relationship meant a lot to her. She forced a tremulous smile as Reet rushed towards the table.

Before Zoya could greet her, Reet plopped down in a chair across from her and demanded, "Okay! What is happening? Why are you all encouraging Ma to live alone...without Dad? Why doesn't she want to come back home?" Reet spoke in a low, urgent tone. Making a scene in public was not part of their family culture.

Zoya took another deep breath. "Alright, Reet. I understand your confusion; but listen carefully. Listen with your heart, listen with your soul. I know all you want is to have a complete family, as it was before. But...things have changed, and, just maybe, to get them back to normal, this step is necessary. I ask you to listen to what I have to say, and please do not interrupt. What I say must remain between us, Love. _That_ , you have to promise me."

Zoya noticed Reet's hesitation. Her niece did not like secrets, but there was no other choice.

"Love, let's dig into our sandwiches and have our coffee while I explain." Zoya suggested tactfully.

Reet looked at her without moving.

"Try to understand your Ma, Reet. She has not only lost twenty years of her life, but her parents, our friends, cousins. A whole familiar environment. For you, she is your Ma, and you think she should be happy just to be with you. Rhia is happy; she is more than happy to be present in your lives. It shows in her every look and gesture."

"Her whole life once revolved around you, Roy and Neil, but with the accident, her plans and ambitions fell by the wayside. Her dreams have been lost, the things she had planned to fulfil once you and Roy were old enough not to need her constant attention. Put yourself in her shoes. Reet, you are almost her age when she went to sleep. Imagine waking up old, weak, and lost."

When Reet's eyes welled with tears, Zoya dived in for the kill, "We have only one life, and at fifty-seven, almost eighty percent of your mother's is gone. Can you blame her for wanting to live the remainder of her life on her own terms? I don't know what she plans to do, but doesn't she have the right to live it her way, make her own mistakes, her own choices?"

"Will you deprive her of her life? Because, if you disapprove of her actions, she will not be happy." Zoya paused to gaze at Reet, trying to gauge her reaction. When the mutinous countenance faded from her niece's face, she continued.

"It might sound selfish, Reet, but your Ma wants to live. _Really_ live. Let her, as she would have let you live, if she had been awake those twenty years. Let her test her wings; let her fly. She will return to the nest. Of that I am sure. Your Dad has always been her anchor. Let them deal with their challenges in their own way, their own time. Give your unconditional love to them as their daughter, and put the other issues to rest."

Zoya read compassion in Reet's eyes, accompanied by guilt. Probably for her own lack of sensitivity. She must be remembering that her mother was once strong and young, but had awakened older. Kids could be self-centered and selfish, enamoured with their own ideals, their own images of what their parents should be like.

Zoya continued relentlessly, "Your mother had a young husband. She awoke to a sixty-year-old man. She does not even recognise your father! Do you know, that at first, she thought Neil was your granddad? She does not see him as her husband."

Reet wiped the tears streaming down her cheeks, staring mutely at her aunt.

Zoya continued. "She needs time to adjust to Neil, to you and Roy, and to your families. The equation has changed. You and Roy have your families to take care of. You cannot weave your lives around your mother. You will suffocate her. For now, Rhia needs to find her own space. You can be assured she will be here for you, accessible at any time. You must help her. Your mother needs your support most of all. This is the time to reconnect with her, rebuild your mother-daughter relationship." Zoya arched an eyebrow and smiled. "Now I have an idea. She is buying a house; she needs to furnish it. Why don't you two work together to furnish her house? This would be an ideal time for you two to be alone and catch up."

Reet sniffed. "Yes... yes, I will do that, but...what about Dad?"

"Love, I remind you; it is important. This stays between us. Your Dad will not remain passive for long. I don't know what he has planned, but one thing I do know; he will try his best to get your mother back. So help him by ignoring their antics. Don't interfere. Don't say anything. Don't allow your Ma to hide from your Dad, behind you," Zoya advised. "Because that is exactly what she's been doing."

Zoya could tell Reet was absorbing her words. Maybe she could see the situation more clearly, and from a different angle. Good sense always took over once Reet got past her anger and confusion. Zoya was certain of it.

Reet bit her bottom lip then released it. "Does Roy know about all this?"

"Maybe he does, he agreed to your mother's plans and he is close to your Dad nowadays. They understand each other. Roy is helping in his own way. Your Ma will not be alone. Neil is not the type of man to let his woman alone. It is their love story. Let them begin their new lives, make up for the time lost, Let them fall in love all over again."

Reet must have gained a clear view of the situation because she smiled.

Zoya sighed. _At last. Hope in paradise._ Zoya had watched Reet's face for her reactions. Her niece's expressions were like an open book, easily read and understood. Reet was convinced. Zoya was sure of it. She had laid it all out before her, told her niece the truth. The only element she omitted was Neil's infidelity. But that was Rhia's problem, not her daughter's.

Zoya was glad, not only that Reet would be supportive, but that she was able to answer all her questions satisfactorily. The women ate their light meal, laughing and planning how to decorate Rhia's new home, debating which shops to plunder to and where to get the best deals. Woman talk, so soothing and interesting, but only to their ears.

Zoya breathed a sigh of relief. The second phase of the plan had succeeded. On to the next.

****

At eight at night a knock at the door alerted Neil. He opened it to find Reet giving him a curious look. He smiled, at her. He always enjoyed the unexpected visits from his children. Reet and he shared a special father and daughter bond. They trusted each other absolutely. Reet's faith in him was unshakable. In short, he was her hero and he wore the title with pride. As a father, Neil strived to be perfect, since he was the prototype on which Reet judged all men. Her husband, Adi, was almost a clone of him.

Neil was no fool. He both respected and liked his son-in-law, but still, without Reet's knowing, he kept an eagle eye on her marital life. He was an undercover mother hen. He didn't want his daughter to suffer as Rhia had.

Although the kids had their own homes now, Neil remained in the grand home, keeping their rooms ready for overnight stays. His children and grandchildren were welcome to stay over any time.

This home was the focal point of their lives, their source of stability. He knew Reet was disturbed that her Ma was shifting her base. This home represented love to her, as well as security. She sat down on the bar stool, chatting with him as she had often done as a teenager. Neil was preparing a pizza and a fresh salad. He milled around while cooking, occasionally patted Reet's head and dropped kisses on top of it. Alone with him, she became his child again, narrating the latest antics of her children, and developments in her career. Her life in general. Neil loved these moments. He missed his children, but they had to lead their own lives. He cherished one-on-one sharing like this, with both his children.

Carefully scrutinizing her, he sensed Reet had come to see him with a definite purpose in mind. He guessed it concerned Rhia's decision to move out. Reet had not hidden her anger when Rhia announced her decision. To give his daughter time to calm down, Neil had not broached the subject. She would open the gates when she was ready.

"Let's eat Love. I am hungry." He served her meal, "I won't serve wine since you will be driving home." It was another family rule, no drinking and driving, even if it was a can of beer or a glass of wine.

Reet returned his smile. "Thanks, Dad; everything looks delicious."

While nibbling on her pizza, his daughter's gaze lingered on him, as if unsure how to begin.

****

Reet studied her father's face, noting the dark shadows under his eyes. "How are you, Dad?"

"I'm alright, Babes, as you can see."

He didn't convince her. His countenance belied his words. "Missing Ma?"

Her Dad nodded, looked straight into her eyes. "Yes I do, but she needs time."

"Um-mm, I understand now. I just wanted you to know."

Dad didn't respond, so they ate in silence.

A few minutes passed before Reet broke the silence with an offer. "How can I help?"

"Help? Help in what?" Her Dad was clueless.

"Help you with Ma. She is not easy to understand, now, is she?"

"We expect too many things, too soon. We expect her to do things according to our wishes, as she did before. We expect her to fit into our lives." He shook his head. It is not fair to her; your mother feels lost."

He felt a twinge. He could not tell Reet the complete truth. He could not fall down in her eyes. Neil gazed at his plate, avoiding Reet's eyes.

Thinking her father was overcome with emotion, she decided to let it rest

After another lengthy pause she asked, "Dad?"

"Um-mm." Neil had just bit off a large piece of pizza and was chewed it thoughtfully.

"I will do as you wish. Tell me what to do."

She heard the sharp intake of his breath. "Love, be yourself. Just support your Ma in her decisions...be there for her. Let her find her way back to us, or, to whatever she wants."

Her father's words showed wisdom. She would do that. "The food is delicious. Dad, you really are the best!"

He smiled at her broadly. Then Father and Daughter finished their meal in silence.

When he looked at her again, his eyes held a twinkle. Working together, they would make things right. Nothing could conquer them. They were on the same team.

# Chapter Four

### The Past Revisited

Rhia sat on the beach mat, gazing at the sea. It was no surprise Roy had chosen the house by the beach and she had agreed to buy it. Rhia had a deep connection to the sea. She'd met Neil on the beach, made love to him on the beach. She probably conceived both her kids there. The last part couldn't be proved, but she still liked to think so.

The sea and Rhia, the sea and Neil! The memories had surfaced, and continued to resurface. Memories she'd had no time to visit since she woke up.

As the waves crashed against the rocks, its familiar voice whispered sweet nothings, calling out to her. The breeze played with her hair gently lifting it to tease her ears. Rhia shivered from the sensation. The sea was unchanged. Its familiarity soothed her like the visit of an old friend. Everything else had changed—her family, her sister, her brother. But not the sea. It continued to comfort her with its eternal lullaby.

She sank down on the spread mat her unseeing eyes staring out to sea, while the years rewound themselves in her mind. The day she met the love of her life. The same day she'd lost and found herself in him.

_Neil._ His very name quickened her heartbeat. Shakespeare was wrong when he asked, " _What's in a name?"_ A whole life was in a name...a whole heart—an entire family. Words were so evocative. A name, a sentence...could trigger memories, reactions, feelings. Yes, names were important; they could change destinies.

Rhia watched as the sea kissed the sand, seducing it, then tantalized it, receding only to rush back to fiercely embrace it again, before slowly receding to repeat the same ritual. The fingertips of the moaning waves caressed the golden belly of the sand, sometimes lazily, other times insistently, depending on its mood. At times they skimmed the surface—at other times, the fingertips scratched it, carving grooves in the sand.

The hypnotic motion lulled Rhia back to a time when it all began. A time when she first met Neil, close to a similar spot. A time she'd known ultimate happiness. When, with Neil by her side, she'd felt invincible. A time when life opened the floodgates of heaven to pour out its blessings.

She closed her eyes and allowed the waves to seduce her into the past. Slowly, the present faded away. She was twenty again, vibrant, afraid of nothing.

****

Rhia could recall her first meeting with Neil like it was yesterday. Thirty-seven years had passed. She could hardly believe it, especially since she'd slept through more than half those years.

There are a number of places in the world where one can see the sun rise and set from the same spot. Those places are magical, magnificent, memorable, precious sites coveted by nature lovers, photographers, and artists, alike. Places where people like Rhia who had a passionate love affair with photography could enjoy. This love never died. In later years, the walls in her home were adorned with pictures of Neil and the children. Pictures of her were scarce since she had been the official family chronicler.

Rhia's journey to Neil began with her goal to capture the sunrise and sunset in her camera. This entailed hours of scouring maps to search for the perfect place. She hounded real estate agents, and nagged her faculty friends till she was directed to this specific beach where she met him. To catch sight of the sun rising from the cold, early morning waters, and later, watch it sink into its evening warmth, intrigued Rhia. She was, fascinated by the array of warm colours swirling into each other, blending effortlessly as they painted the bluish sky at sunrise and sunset. The texture of the sea, the shimmering horizon, untouchable, hypnotized her. Rhia was entranced by the intimate relationship of the sun, sea, and the sand. The trio seemed involved in an ongoing, intensely passionate, subtle, mating process, all the time, intensely.

Rhia found the perfect site at the northern-most tip of the beach, a place hidden from the world, waiting for her to nest there. The beach house was given out on rent by disinterested owners, a small, comfortable place easy to maintain. Located far from night hubs and frenzied activities of typical beach life, its market value was not the greatest.She had rented the beach house for two months, stocking the larder with tinned food and basic groceries. She could cook if she liked, but did not plan to spend a lot of time in the kitchen when there were so many interesting things to do.

She both bought and borrowed stacks of books, along with her favourite music albums. Added to those were camera reels, batteries, sketch pads, and stationery. She was temporarily set to live the life of a recluse.

The morning Rhia had met Neil was a special one. Before dawn that day, Rhia threw a blanket over her shoulders then slung her camera strap across her chest. She left the beach house at 4:51 a.m. with a mat in one hand, a picnic basket in the other. The sun was predicted to rise at 5:01 a.m. Strolling to a previously chosen spot, she became lost in her thoughts.

She gazed at the still, darkened sky. _The arrogance of the human species! The Earth revolves around the sun, incapable of living far from it. The sun stands steadfast, and immovable, and yet we still say, "The sun will rise, the sun will set," led by a charioteer across the sky,_ to _illuminate and clear out the dark spots from our lives._

Rhia was a thinker. At twenty, she had little in common with her peers. She felt lucky to have parents, uncles and aunts, and siblings with whom she could enjoy lively discussions on philosophy and life. Current events or the indiscretions of celebrities did not interest her in the least.

Rhia reached the spot. She put down her picnic basket. When she'd spread her mat, she sat down and arranged the blanket over her knees for warmth. A glance at the eastern horizon told her the wait would not be long. She pulled her coffee flask and a sandwich box from the basket, then loaded her camera.

She took a few gulps of hot coffee while focusing on the eastern sky. Rhia did not feel lonely. Short periods of solitude such as these recharged her both physically and emotionally. It might sound selfish to some, but she enjoyed her time apart from family and friends. The isolation gave her a chance to communicate with herself, to reflect, write, or take long walks. Living for oneself for some and not being accountable to any parent, friend, and teacher, was liberating. When her need was sated, she would return to civilization.

It was the third time in her life Rhia had physically removed herself from the world. When younger, she hid behind study books, losing herself in the pages to dream and plan her future. No one disturbed the "studious" Rhia. The first time she escaped from the world, physically, she hid in a mountain lodge for a week, exploring the forest with a guide. The second time, she escaped to a lake, paddled a canoe, and read a few of her favourite books. As some of her friends found her disappearance from the party scene and society, bizarre, Rhia only told Zoya her plans. Her sister was the only person who knew exactly where she would be at any given time. Her parents would have been horrified to know their precious daughter was out in the wilderness on her own!

The sun peeked shyly from the sea, moist and gleaming, hesitant to rise, as if awaiting someone's consent to do so. Rhia clicked the camera rapidly; she did not want to lose a single shot. The sun slid up from behind the sea, still small, spreading its glorious rays across the horizon. Wonderment engulfed Rhia at the sweeping view before her. She felt like she had waited a lifetime for this moment.

The light, breeze played with her hair, making her warm and cold at the same time. One eye squinted, the other fixed firmly on her objective, Rhia's fingers clicked pictures of the stupendous sun as it slowly ascended in all its magnificence.

Suddenly, a dark shadow blocked her vision. Transfixed, Rhia's fingers continued to click as the shadow sharpened into the form of a person, a man running on the beach towards her. It was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen. She put down her camera to watch.

As the sun ascended, the yellowish fireball swept over the man's legs, thighs, and back, till it rested like a halo around his head. Time stood still, the wind froze, the sea became motionless, while the man's feet pounded the sand, closing in on her. Caught in this surreal moment where space and time meant nothing, Rhia became spellbound.

Just as abruptly, the sun detached itself from the man, to continue its upward journey. The spell had broken. Rhia still could not clearly distinguish the man's features, but her heart beat rhythmically with each footfall. He reached her. Her throat felt parched as she searched for something to say to him, something profound or witty.

"Would you like some coffee?" she murmured when he stopped in front of her. She could have spanked herself for the banal words that escaped from between her lips.

"You have some? Sure!" The man gasped, struggling to catch his breath then plunked down beside her.

She poured the coffee into a cup, offered it to him then opened the box of sandwiches, placing it between them. Silently, they watched the sun, the sea, the horizon while sharing the coffee and food in silent communion. Rhia tried to breathe normally and as silently as possible. A daunting task since her heart had pounded rhythmically with the steps of the man. Finally, it calmed to a steady rate. A sense of peace washed over her, a premonition that her impatient heart had finally reached its destination.

****

Neil needed to work out; he was restless. He hoped a long, early morning run would settle his mind. He wanted to be alone, to cut himself off from the world. As he ran along the beach from east to west, he distinguished a movement ahead. Instinctively, he raced towards it, trying to outdistance the sun rays dancing ahead of his feet. It was easier said than done. The dancing beams led him straight to a girl sitting on the sand, a camera glued to her face. He almost burst out laughing at the ridiculous sight.

When she lowered the camera and looked straight into his eyes, he felt a kick in his stomach and the wind rush from his lungs. Their eyes locked. He tried to run faster, but his feet sank into the sand. Life seemed to move in slow motion.

Her chin slowly rose. She held his gaze, unflinching, with a calm, serious demeanour. As he stopped before her, the words, "you and coffee" were the only sounds that registered in his brain. _This is heaven,_ he thought, sinking down beside her. He figured he was sweaty and smelly. Sniffing the air confirmed it. Yes, he did stink.

****

Rhia tore her gaze from him and turned to face the sea. She yearned to drink in the sight of him. Beads of sweat ran down his hairline, contouring his eyebrows on down to his jaw line. His damp Tee-shirt clinging to his chest was so...what was the word? _Ummm_...it was on the tip of her tongue. She had never felt so sensitive to someone's presence, to his slightest sound and movement. Her every nerve strained to meet him, her body pulled like a magnet towards his. She dug her heels in the sand to restrain herself as he gobbled her sandwiches and downed her coffee.

Apparently, the stranger could not find anything intelligent to say either. The silence appeared to make him uncomfortable. She wondered if he used eating and drinking as a way to cover the awkward silence. He did so without reservation. After some moments, Rhia's uninvited guest took his last swallow of coffee, setting the cup on the mat. He took a deep breath and turned towards her. "My name is Neil. And yours?"

"Rhia"

They eyed one another with open curiosity, compelled by an energy neither could explain nor were ready to acknowledge. The force was something beyond the physical. Rhia wore no makeup; her hair was tied in a wild ponytail. The breeze had caused havoc; strands of hair sprung from all sides of her head. Her bulky clothes hid her body. Neil wore a torn Tee-shirt, ripped shorts and scruffy running shoes. Neither looked sexy or desirable at that moment, yet a magical element propelled them towards one another.

Did he feel it, too?

As serenity settled over the secluded spot, Rhia averted her eyes from the man to gaze at the vigorous waves. Together they watched the horizon in complete communion with and the lapping waves.

****

In the following days, Neil and Rhia's relationship did not go beyond "Hello" and "How are you?" Neil had rented a cottage not far from hers. If they ever met on the beach, it was by accident. They never made dates or invited each other for meals. Rhia had most of her meals on the beach, anyway. Having become an expert at making sandwiches and one pot dishes, her latest cooking attempts included one pasta dish plus Chinese fried rice. She divided these into single portions for her main meals. Not a bosom friend of the kitchen yet, Rhia was happy with canned and frozen foods.

Rhia and Neil's relationship could be compared to two satellites which orbited the same planet, yet kept their respective distances. The sensation of oneness was enough. Both lived their lives conscious the other was never far away. And that was sufficient. Some feelings, some bonds could not be described and these were of that nature.

For Rhia, Neil was the symbol of the sea, sky, the sun, and the sand, all wrapped into one constant being. Always there.

For Neil, Rhia was home, just home. Permanent. Love and comfort. If one was the sunrise, the other was the sunset.

Three days later, a storm hit the coast. The clouds galloped across the sky like a herd of dark horses, wild, neighing, their hooves stamping the ground. Below, the sea churned, growled, threatening to break the self-imposed barriers of nature. The wind howled in concert, whipping up sand, whisking the waves.

****

The wind was the master...or was it? Did the wind really affect the inner core of the sea in its frenzy? Or were the frenetic waves just a show in comradeship with the wind, dancing to its tune on the surface but keeping aloof in the deeper ends, going about its own business?

Rhia pondered over these thoughts. But it was hard to know from her observation point on the beach. She walked towards the edge of the ocean.

Dressed in a thick jogging suit, a shawl hugging her shoulders and arms, Rhia stood still. She closed her eyes, and allowed the tumultuous waves to kiss her bare toes, feeling a tiny bite of their power. The sea, the wind and the sky seemed to be in a secret covenant while the land lay bare, vulnerable, and helpless.

Rhia basked in the sensation of harsh water spray stinging her face as the heavy rain pelted from above. Her water-logged clothes heavily clung to her body. She longed to join the elements in their wild nature dance. Blissfully unaware of danger, and lost in the sensation, her body swayed towards the sea, pushed by the wind and pulled by the waves. Lightning streaked across the grey clouded canopy like camera flashes, while an avalanche of water poured from the sky, pin-pricking the sea and drenching her body.

****

The lightning and thunder drew Neil out of his cottage and onto the veranda. He was all set to spend a peaceful evening. A cheerful fire burned in the fireplace, a peg of whiskey waited to be consumed, and the delicious aroma of, fried sausages hung in the air. The cottages were secured against storms when all windows and doors were closed.

Neil scanned the horizon. He had to squint to see through the heavy rain curtain. Suddenly his heart stopped beating. He saw a huge wave rushing furiously towards the shore to swallow someone already ankle-deep in the water.

He shot out of the house, one part of his brain knowing that _someone_ was Rhia. He fixed his eyes firmly on her, ignoring the oncoming gigantic wave, as he tore out of the yard and down the beach to rescue her. To his horror, the wave crashed over her small body, swallowing her. Neil screamed.

The ruthless wind muffled all sounds. The wave receded as quickly as it struck and Neil saw Rhia standing knee deep in the water. His feet hammered the wet, heavy sand to make it to Rhia before the other waves swept her away. He could not believe it when Rhia's laughter reached his ears.

Clenching his fists, he sank his teeth into his bottom lip. Of all the stupid acts! He was risking his life for a stark-raving maniac.

At last, Neil reached her, spun her around and clenched her upper arms holding her close. Surprise registered on her face. "I ought to give you a good spanking," he hissed.

But there was no time. Another mighty wave raced towards them, hard and fast, like giant mobile angry walls. His arms circled Rhia's waist; her hands slid up to clasp him lightly around the neck.

"Hold me tight! Whatever happens don't let go! You hear me?"

Rhia looked shocked. Neil quickly calculated their dilemma. They had a better chance of withstanding the force of the wave immobilized. He ground his heels into the slippery sand and waited for the impact.

****

Unconscious of the danger and knee-deep in water, Rhia thrilled to see the oncoming wave. Neil's arrival and his tight embrace made it hard for her to breathe. His nearness only intensified the excitement of the moment. Then he raged at her. She chanced a quick look into his eyes. _Oh, but he was angry!_ She took in his firmly-set jaw and came to her senses. She now felt the icy water slithering down her body, she gazed around her, shocked at the violence and danger she had put herself in, jeopardizing Neil as well.

The harsh oncoming wave crashed over them threatening to topple and drag them deeper into its womb. They clung to each other, struggling to maintain their balance.

"Hang on! Let the wave go and don't move!" Neil growled through clenched teeth.

Rhia nodded, watching the wave slide away.

"Now, run!" Neil let go of her waist but grasped her hand in his as they raced out of the sea, onto the beach, and to safety. Close behind, a hungry wave thundered, crashing onto the beach to claw away everything in its path.

With the determination of a homing pigeon, Neil gripped Rhia's hand, dragging her along as he raced past her cottage and on towards his which was not far from hers. Rhia followed him, blindly. He fumed, shaking with anger, but kept quiet. It could wait. He hauled Rhia into the house, pushed her towards his bedroom, then shoved her into the shower cubicle, turning on the knobs. The hot water soaked Rhia before Neil threw aside her sodden, shawl, yanked off her jacket, and pulled up her T-shirt. She shivered from the cold, passively allowing him to undress her down to her under garments. She sneezed above him as he knelt to peel down her clinging pants, the hot water spraying on them.

His cottage had only one bathroom. Neil did not want to fall sick, so he wrenched off his own clothes, down to his underwear, and stood beneath the shower close to her.

The cold that had seeped into their bones soon dissipated beneath the hot, spouting jet of water.

****

Lethargy took over. Rhia's half-opened eyes greeted a hair-matted chest, not exactly muscular, but almost there. Two nipples stared back at her. As if her hands had a will of their own, they rose to explore his torso. Her gaze lowered to the stomach, her fingers lazily tracing the descent. No six pack abs, but a small comforting cuddle. She splayed her fingers, running them softly over his skin, playing with his chest hair, teasing his nipples and navel, then on his pectorals, stroking and tenderly massaging the skin. Her intent gaze followed the journey of her hands as her fingertips communicated their silent message to his skin.

****

Neil's anger evaporated at a supersonic rate. He closed his eyes to enjoy a sensation of tenderness and love he had never felt before. Rhia tilted towards him, nuzzling his chest, inhaling his scent, as her hands slid around his waist to explore his back.

He could no longer resist. He slid his arms around her to pull her against him, resting his forehead atop her head as he caressed her back, softly, lovingly.

The thunder, rain and wind battered against the cottage. All noise faded as the world shrunk to that place, that moment.

How long they stayed under the shower, how they ended up in front of the fireplace, remained a mystery they never bothered to unravel. But Neil and Rhia's first lovemaking was forever etched in their hearts. With every kiss, every caress, they uttered everlasting vows. Their hearts, minds, souls, and bodies consummated into a whole with no definitive line. Where one started or the other completed, neither could fathom. It was their wedding. They were married. Their ceremony required no priest or legal paper to seal the pact. No words were necessary.

It was decided; Neil and Rhia became husband and wife. Soul mates, who through the years, secretly celebrated that day as their own special day.

Years later it still remained a carefully guarded secret.

****

"Zoya, I'm in love and we are getting married!"

Zoya, still half asleep, bemused, looked at her sister, her spoon hanging half way to her lips. At seven in the morning, Rhia had erupted into the kitchen like a tornado. What was she doing here? She was supposed to hibernate for two months! It had been just two weeks she had been away!

"What? How? Where? When?" Zoya slid off her stool to peer at her sister. She had never seen Rhia aglow. That was the word. It was as if a light had been switched on inside her.

"Who is he?" At seventeen, marriage was just a far away idea to Zoya, and Rhia was just twenty! _How can she think of marriage now! Our parents are going to kill both of us!_

Rhia had stars in her eyes. "His name is Neil. And he is coming over tomorrow to meet Mom and Dad."

Zoya sat up bolt right, now wide awake. "Hello! Knock, knock. Earth to space. Do our parents know about it?"

"No. I wanted you to know first."

"You'll have me killed! I told them you were on that stupid youth camp! Now they'll know you were at the beach! We are both in big trouble...How does he look?"

Rhia's eyes took a dreamy, faraway look "Gorgeous, sexy and so so nice, Zoya. I can't believe he loves me, too."

"Who loves you?" Their over protective Dad thundered from the doorway.

Both girls spun around to find their father glaring at them with a question in his eyes. Rhia tried to think of the best way to answer him when a bright voice broke in.

"Hey, Darling you are back? How was your camp?" Their mother burst upon the scene like a ray of sunshine, chasing their father's dark clouds away. "Is everything alright? Why did you come home so early? Are you hungry?"

The girls darted quick glances at one another, but neither had time to reply.

"Grumpy, you are here? Why?" Their brother, Ray shuffled into the room morosely. He always seemed to move in slow motion mode at home, keeping all his energy for his friends. At fourteen his skinny frame fought a losing battle with acne and the whole world was his enemy. Especially his bossy sisters.

Zoya tried to sidle out of the room, but their mother caught her. "Zoya! Finish your breakfast first. Stick to your seat, girl."

Rhia took a deep breath, scanning the room. "I call for a family meeting, now." Everyone in the room froze while Zoya fidgeted on her seat.

All members of the family had the right to call for a family meeting. It meant there was something serious to be discussed; the one who called the meeting had the floor to express with no interruption. The family took their seats around the breakfast table in silence, even their bewildered mother.

"I have something to say, and I hope you listen with an open mind." Rhia had rehearsed her speech on the way back. "I have met this man, Neil. I have fallen in love with him and I wish to marry him. I will not say anything else about him, simply because I want you to judge him for yourselves. He will be coming here tomorrow with his parents, to meet you, and to ask for my hand in the proper way. All I want to say is that I cannot imagine my life without him. But, neither do I want to hurt you by my decision."

Rhia's gaze circled the table taking in her entire family. Mother's jaw dropped at the same time Dad's eyebrows shot up. Zoya slid so far off her chair, she was almost hidden below the table. Ray was the only normal one His indifferent look was expected. Then he burst out.

"He must be mad to love you. I can't stand you! Good riddance! Get married and go away!" Ray shouted, shocked by the news. His sister was planning to leave. Then her brother's bottom lip curled. She thought he might burst into tears. The news shocked Ray. He cared for her after all.

"Ray, don't speak to your sister like that!" Mom admonished. "Rhia, Neil is welcome in our home and no one will speak about this matter till we meet him and his parents," she added in a reasonable tone.

"Dad?" _Why doesn't he say something?_ Their Dad was silent.

"This is sudden, my Love. You just burst in and tell us you want to get married. And to someone we don't know. You are still in college. How can you..?"

"Dad, I am not planning to get married now; but he is the one for me. Trust me, meet Neil."

"Allow me time to think, Rhia. I will meet the young man. Just let me be for some time." He rose then walked out of the room.

"Mom?" Rhia pleaded.

"It is a shock Rhia. Give us time to digest what you have said. Ask your young man and his parents for lunch tomorrow. Start preparing for it. Zoya, plan a lunch menu and you, Ray, go and have a haircut. I don't want people to say I am harbouring a fugitive!" Their Mom was excellent at carrying on multiple conversations in one breath. As soon as her mother finished belting out orders, she left the kitchen to seek her husband.

Later, Mom told her, the reason she was able to persuade her Dad to accept her decision, was the new glow of happiness that could be seen on Rhia's face. Her joy was infectious. Besides they trusted her.

****

Neil had an easy time persuading his parents. Self-supportive for the last five years, he had become financially independent at seventeen. With college scholarships, he had worked part-time, and soon had a steady job and his own place. Not into the party scene, Neil had not given his parents any trouble.

His announcement was brief. "Papa, I have met a girl and I want to marry her. Are you free tomorrow to meet her parents?"

"Are you sure? Aren't you too young?"

"Yes, I am young, but I know she is the one; so, I don't see any reason to wait. Of course there will be a time of courtship, first."

"Have you told your mother?"

"No, I wanted to tell you, first. I'll go tell her, now. Papa?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

****

The next day was slow to come. The hours passed irritatingly slow. Rhia was impatient. She kept darting to the front door to check for Neil. At twelve in the morning sharp, he rang the doorbell and before the chimes faded, Rhia opened the door.

"Dad, Mom, this is Neil." Rhia said with pride. Neil looked gorgeous. Gone were the rough look, the torn jeans and old T-shirts she had seen him in these last two weeks, at least, when he was not naked with her. Neil had shaved, dressed up in a formal suit, looking serious and super confident.

"Hello Neil, welcome and please come inside." Rhia's Mom's beaming smiled eased the tension. The young couple introduced their parents to each other. Their mothers took over the conversation and managed to dig out common friends and far flung relatives. The fathers took a backseat and let the talk flow around them, observing the young couple.

Neil won over Rhia's parents with his simplicity and straightforwardness. Neil's parents instantly liked Rhia. Both sets of parents were relieved their children had made wise choices. A frank talk with Neil about their projects and their plans cleared almost all the doubts the parents had about their fast track decision. They supported Neil and Rhia's relationship, as well as agreed to their proposals.

After two years of courtship and serious planning, Rhia and Neil married with the blessings of their parents. Meanwhile, Rhia graduated from college with honours. She obtained a job in her field of studies. They both worked hard and were willing to do overtime. Finally they bought a small home with their savings.

They led organized lives, sharing chores and responsibilities. Neil became the financial adviser and an expert at budgeting and investing. He continued to study part time to gain promotion in his job. Both Neil and Rhia possessed large doses of ambition and were aware certain sacrifices would be required to reach their goals. In that spirit, they relinquished special hobbies and interests, promising themselves that someday, at the right time, they would pick them up again.

While their friends remained footloose and fancy free, Rhia and Neil, at the ages of twenty-four and twenty-six, became proud parents of a baby girl. Their lives somersaulted when Reet burst into the world like a bright ray of sunshine. Sunny, lovable, and absolutely adorable, a tiny baby turned Reet and Neil's world upside down.

Although both had read many books on parenthood and listened to countless pieces of advice from loved ones, they were unprepared for both the joy and responsibility of this marvel. Then two years later, Roy tornadoed into their lives, screaming at the top of his lungs, demanding the respect and attention due to him.

The family was complete. Time both hopped and flew by. Rhia and Neil became the envy of their friends because they were obviously still in love. They sneaked to the cottage by the sea for romantic rendezvous whenever they could drop the kids at Zoya's place for the night.

Rhia and Neil accepted one another's quirks. Lovemaking was an adventure; they remained best of friends, were wonderful parents, voracious readers, and movie addicts. Through it all their intimacy never diminished. They were not clones of each other; they had their differences. Even so, their fights were epic and short-lived.

Rhia was possessive of Neil as well as overly protective of the children. A true mother hen. Initially short-tempered and impulsive, over time and through experience, she became calmer and less vocal about her feelings.

Neil was the quiet, reserved type. There was a place in him that Rhia could not reach, no matter how hard she tried. Trying and failing frustrated her.

Rhia was stubborn, but Neil could be more stubborn. She completely gave herself to Neil, and could not understand why he would not do the same. She needed all of him, not ninety percent. Not ninety-nine.

On a conscious level her persistence was came across as overly-possessive. Rhia was helpless to control this personality quirk. She wanted what she deemed hers through their union.

Other than Rhia's struggle to reach Neil, and his strong resistance to her efforts, they had no major problems. Their respective families got on well, and a huge network of relatives and friends wove a secure cocoon around them.

The only way for them was up. Neil climbed the corporate ladder while Rhia refused several promotions to be more present at home. The balance of power between them subtly shifted towards Neil as he became more ambitious, more involved in his job.

Over time he developed certain arrogance and a superior attitude. He spent less time at home, and shared less in the family responsibilities. Rhia had no salient proof Neil had changed. A hairline crack began to form in their relationship. With her responsibilities, managing the home and the children—plus working outside the home—the fissure escaped her. As she was sure their marriage was solid, she never expected trouble.

Rhia's job sometimes frustrated her. As she had refused promotions, junior co-workers jumped ahead of her. But she had made her choices and set her priorities. The bouts of frustration soon passed. Still, she missed the larger pay checks. However, Neil's pay check provided well. Their successive homes grew in square footage, and they managed to buy the cottage on the beach.

The crack opened wide in the last year they had been together. One day Rhia woke up and realized something was wrong. She and Neil had not made love for a long time. His various out of town projects, his overtime at work, his tiredness and lastly his unwillingness to make the first step were responsible for the lack of intimacy in their relationship. An invisible veil had fallen between them. She could see him through a thick mist, but as hard as she tried, could not reach him.

Neil did not want her, anymore! Devastated, she began to sob. _What had happened to their relationship? Why hadn't she noticed the changes in him sooner?_

Rhia took her marriage vows seriously. Both those she'd said with her heart the first time they made love, and those they had officially uttered.

Divorce had never been an option for her. She had allowed her ambitions and dreams to rest while letting her husband and children become top priority. This decision, she had never regretted.

Rhia had friends and acquaintances with hot-shot careers who longed to lead calmer, more emotionally-fulfilled lives. Predators could sense a woman's vulnerability, especially that she was lonely. She had been the recipient of indecent offers from men, which honestly, had flattered her. Being desirable was pleasant, but she could not imagine cheating on Neil.

Eventually, Neil pushed her so far away, they had no sexual life. Rhia's pride stopped her from begging for the love that was rightfully hers. Still, she could not betray her husband. Sleeping with another was the ultimate humiliation one spouse could inflict on the other.

Rhia pressed her hands against her ears to silence the tormenting words racing through her mind. The frequency of their fights had escalated. The strain of trying to appear normal to the kids had taken its toll on her, leaving her a nervous wreck. Neil had become progressively stubborn, and she could not find the proper words or muster the tact to remedy the situation.

Each time before she approached Neil about his coldness, she took a deep, calming breath and told herself to act reasonably; but when she opened her mouth, acidic words, sarcasm, and taunts, spewed out unchecked. She could not stop those words any more than she could stop herself from loving him. The wounds cut so deep. Her soul bled. Neil's stubborn silence only fuelled her rage. As hard as she tried, Rhia could not reach her husband's heart, or touch his soul.

The night before that horrible day, the children went to Zoya's place for dinner. In the privacy of their home, Rhia and Neil's fight was virulent. She cried and screamed while Neil stood silently, watching her, his features granite. He confirmed her suspicions. He was involved with another woman. He told her so.

Not one word of regret, not a single word of comfort did he offer. Silenced by his attitude, Rhia left to fetch the children, alone. She could not understand why Neil strayed. She could not pinpoint the exact moment things started to slide downhill. Instead of helping with the children, and making more time for her, he preferred to spend those hours with another woman. Where was the commitment, the love? Why was it so easy for Neil to hop from her to another woman?

Her mind in frantic turmoil, Rhia drove erratically to Zoya's place. Fortunately, there was not much traffic on the road.

After the children fell asleep that night, Rhia vented her despair and anger in her diary. Journaling turbulent emotions relieved her, helping her to reflect, to see the situation more lucidly. As she journaled that night, her mind cleared. She came to a decision. Slamming the diary shut, she threw the pen on the desk and stood. She would not, spend every minute tormenting herself with images of Neil, wondering where he was or what he was doing. If he was daydreaming about his mistress, or wanting to be with her.

She could not live this way. Live with the fear he might suddenly choose to leave them.

In reality, hadn't he left already? Wasn't she living a lie in this farce of a marriage? Rhia had tried to find a solution, but as Neil would not cooperate, it was impossible.

Had Neil spoken to her, the situation might have been different. It was his deathly silence, silence she read as contempt, which slashed her to the core.

She had to do something.

The next morning, after the children left for school, their final fight erupted. As it escalated, Rhia gave Neil her ultimatum. She ordered him, "Pack your bags, and move out! And draw up the divorce papers. I will sign them. I want it all to end... _now!_ "

Unable to look him in the eye, because he would read the grief and pain in them, she stared on his chest instead. The same chest covered with matted hair she had so many times run her fingers through. This chest belonged to her no more.

"I want the children. I don't care about the assets." Her words sounded more confident than she felt; she had struggled to keep her voice from trembling or from showing other signs of weakness.

He was not her husband. This man was a stranger to her, an enemy. She no longer had rights over Neil.

Rhia raised her chin, marched out of the house, got into the car and drove away. Mustering every gram of her energy she forced herself to calm down and drive carefully. When she reached her workplace, she parked in her usual space on the side of the road, then turned off the engine. She sat in the car, pulled down the sunshade, then stroked the picture of Neil she kept tucked there. He looked so handsome and lovable. It was so hard to believe he wanted another woman and he was not hers anymore.

Sobs tore from her throat. Tears poured down her cheeks. Tears for the life that was over. Tears for the soul mate she had lost. Carefully, deliberately, she tore the picture into four pieces.

_Boom!_ The impact from a huge object slammed into her, flinging her across the seat, as the scraps of the picture floated to the floorboard. Her world went black.

****

Neil was lost in his own memories. After Rhia drove away after their last fight, he stood frozen in one place. Thoughts through his mind, colliding and crashing against each other. Anger followed frustration; then despair won out.

He was fed up with Rhia's constant nagging that he spend more time with her. He was a man; he needed the occasional night out to socialize with his friends and colleagues. Why couldn't Rhia understand that? If she wanted to chain herself to the home and kids, it was her choice. He had never forced her to become domesticated.

He raked his fingers through his hair. How or when had he become attracted to Cheryl? It was a mystery to him. He had not counted on Rhia's sharp intuition, her keen smell that something was wrong. She had sensed it immediately. Then the nagging had begun. But, was it really nagging?

Had his perception of her changed with his lust for Cheryl? Maybe he should have tried to understand Rhia's pain. When had he become so insensitive to the woman who loved him completely, regardless of his flaws?

A flirtation and a one-night stand had destroyed their relationship. He tried to put himself in Rhia's place. What would he have done if she had strayed? Why, he would have throttled her with his bare hands!

Rhia had ordered him to move out, to go. That was all. But those few words had shaken him to the core. Had she looked up into his eyes, she would have seen his them blurred with tears. She would have seen his shock and him trembling from the realization of what he had done.

His tongue had frozen at her words; he was not able to speak. His throat had constricted; the words would not come out. The only thing he could do was stand and watch mutely as she walked out the door. Out of his life. A life he had so carefully built. One based on love, affection, and trust. A life he had destroyed with one banal act.

As Rhia's car slowly pulled out of the driveway, Neil's trembling legs could no longer support him. He sank down into a chair, shivering with cold and regret. His hands shook as he clutched his hair with such force he almost ripped from its roots.

An eternity later, the insistent ring of his cell phone jolted him out of his despair.

"We regret to inform you that your wife was involved in an accident. Please come to the hospital as quickly as possible.

# Chapter Five

### The Past: After the Accident

"Wake up, Rhia! Wake up now!" Neil whispered urgently in his wife's ears while he massaged her uninjured hand. "Wake up, Love; come back to me!"

"Ma, Ma, wake up! Open your eyes," Roy held on to his mother's feet, shaking them vigorously.

"No. Roy, don't move her. She might hurt." Zoya squeezed her nephew's shoulders then pulled him against her. She looked over at Reet, whose silence worried her. Tears flowed down her niece's rosy cheeks. The children were bewildered, lost, inconsolable.

The impact had been brutal, the car smashed. Rhia was unrecognizable under the bandages and tubes running in and out of her body. She had not awakened after the operation; the doctors were not positive with their prognosis.

Neil alternated between despair, rage at himself, and rage toward the bus driver who had hit her car Two days after the accident, Rhia showed no sign of life. She could not breathe on her own; her body had given up. Neil wanted to break something, scream his agony, turn back the clock. He felt helpless, desperate and impotent

Why must Rhia suffer? It wasn't fair! The voice his hardened ears had tried to shut out a few days ago, now lay silent. The eyes which adored him, loved him, which constantly sought him out, were closed. The heart which had held his now beat with the aid of machines.

Rhia lay pale and immobile on the hospital bed. Neil spoke softly, his breath in her ears. His soul screamed her name, but she lay there unmoving. She would not even budge. As Rhia lay there unresponsive, her family swarmed around her pleading with her to awaken. A woman who tossed and turned until her body snuggled close to his, lay frozen and alone. She had asked him to go but she was the one who had left. Rhia had distanced herself so much that he could no longer reach her.

****

A week later, finally a positive sign, Rhia's vital organs were functional although she could not breathe on her own. The doctors spoke softly to the adults of the family. There was hope but there was no guarantee. They advised the family to get back to their normal routine.

The situation had reversed. With their two children clinging to him, Neil left the hospital surrounded by family members. A cortege went to his own place, his and Rhia's. Raoul picked up food for all of them on his way. Dinner was a silent affair. Raoul, who was the sanest of them all at that time, became the chief of the family. He planned out a campaign worthy of a general. It was time for action and not grief. Each member of the family was allocated a specific task to run Rhia's home till Neil and the children would get back on their feet. The family members rounded up, discussed while Neil in a daze, looked fixedly at his wedding ring.

****

Eleven long days had passed. Eleven long days in which Rhia showed no more signs of improvement. Eleven long days where the family milled around Neil's home taking care of him and the children. Their lives had narrowed to visits between the hospital and Neil's home. They only went to their own homes to sleep, except for Zoya who stayed back to be with Reet and Roy.

After the seven interminable days, for once the house was quiet. Neil had asked his family members to go home and rest. He practically had to throw Zoya out of this home. She had pleaded to stay overnight again with Reet and Roy. Raoul understood Neil's wish for some privacy. He herded his protesting wife out to their car. It had been a hectic for all of them. They were all emotionally and physically exhausted

Late at night, broken, Neil lay awake in the darkness, unblinking, smothered in regrets.He had just read Rhia's diary. If only he could turn back the clock... if only he had spoken to her...if only he had delayed her leaving that morning. His hands crept to the bedside table where his gun lay in the top drawer. There was only one thing to do; end it all.

He did not have the energy to move. He put out his hand to open the drawer. His hand closed around the cold barrel of the gun. He gripped it tightly.

"Daddy? Are you sleeping?" Reet asked softly. Both his treasures stood at the foot of the bed. He hadn't heard them come into the room.

Neil let go of the gun instantly, withdrew his hand and closed the drawer shut smoothly.

"Can we sleep with you? We slept with Ma when you were not here."She continued.

Neil wiped tears from his eyes then sat up and put on the bedside lamp. Arms spread wide, he welcomed his children into them. They scrambled into the bed and snuggled on each side of him. From them, Neil drew strength and hope.

He turned off the light and lay back down. The moment the children lay their trusting heads on his shoulders, Neil had a vision. He saw two paths opening in front of him; one where he continued on the destructive path, taking his children down with him, the other was to become the man and husband Rhia had loved—the best man he could be. His broken heart screamed for oblivion. The road he decided to take would be a hard one. He had messed up...messed up so badly he had no will to carry on.

"Daddy, what is going to happen, if Ma does not wake up?" Reet's voice sounded far away. Her dire words seemed to echo off the bedroom walls. _What if...? What if...?_ Neil heard the chill in her heart and held his two loves harder against him.Roy tilted his head from his father's shoulders to look at him.

Staring straight ahead, the words formed automatically and came from his mouth Neil said, "Tomorrow you will go to school. First, I will prepare breakfast. But, I will need your help. We will take one day at a time, till your Ma wakes up. Then she will have to make up for all the chores she missed." he teased, sensing the children's' smiles. He ruffled their hair

"We will wait for her to wake up, but meanwhile our lives must go on. You will go to school and do well. Your Ma is resting. That is no excuse for you to neglect your studies. Your tasks remain the same and when she awakens, she will be proud to see her children doing so well. We will wait for her," Neil continued. He kissed their tousled heads again.

"When will she wake up?" Roy piped up.

"We don't know the answer to that; but every day we will visit her. We will tell her to hurry and wake up. We will tell her how much we love her, how our days went. She will hear in some corner of her mind. She is here with us, only asleep. Now both of you go to sleep; we have a busy day tomorrow. We will need to plan our schedules." Neil resoundingly kissed their foreheads and patted their backs and held them against him. He would not let go of his children. He would be present for them, always

"Daddy, will they unplug her?" Roy, the practical one, had to ask this question.

"No, that I promise you. No one will unplug your Ma. She will wake up, and she will come back. You know she can't live without you!" Neil's voice was strong and confident.

"And you too, Daddy. Ma loves you too." Reet said, her head buried in her father's shoulders.

Neil felt the simple truth of the statement. He wanted to weep. Yes, his wife loved him. The realization of total loss engulfed him again, He was immobilized. Reet and Roy had pinned him to the bed, their heads heavy on his shoulders, small arms encircling his waist and their legs thrown over his thighs. They fell asleep believing, Daddy would make things right. The choice had been made for him. There would be no turning back.

Neil thought if strange; he felt close to Rhia at that precise moment. Her presence seemed to fill the room. He recommitted to her again, as her husband and the father of their children by silently reciting his wedding vows, and tying himself again to Rhia. He sealed it by kissing the tops of his children's' heads and vowing to look after them, to nurture them, to be by their side, to become both father and mother to them.

He determined his issues of guilt, pain, and loss, would remain personal matters that would not affect Reet and Roy. He resolved to do everything in his power and beyond to bring up their children as he and Rhia had planned. Neil sighed as a heavy burden lifted. He felt as if he'd received a second chance. Like he'd been reborn. Worn out and relieved, he fell asleep wrapped in the arms of his children.

****

"Can we help?"

"Don't worry; we are here."

Neil was habituated to hear these words. Six months had gone by, the days and months following the accident blurred in his mind. Relatives and friends, poured in from all sides to help out. Zoya and her husband had almost taken root in his house taking over the responsibility of the children's studies. Rhia's parents, along with his, regularly replenished the refrigerator to ensure no one went hungry. Friends from work and neighbours came forward to offer their help and support. It was a revelation to Neil that Rhia had such a wide circle of friends.

****

Five months later

Neil was preparing dinner for the children when the phone rang. "Mr. Neil, can you come over to the hospital now." a woman spoke urgently over the phone once the introductions had been made.

"What happened? Tell me now? I can't wait!" Neil demanded.

Another person came to the phone. "Hello, this is Dr. Jackson. Neil is that you?"

"Yes! What happened?" Neil's heart was beating fast, he started sweating, and he felt his knees going weak.

"Don't panic, Neil, I have good news. Rhia can breathe on her own."

It took some moments for Neil to comprehend what the doctor said.

"What do you mean? Has she woken up?"

"No, but she is breathing on her own. It is a good sign. Her body is functioning well. Now we wait for her mind to heal."

Rhia's bones had knit back together. All her cuts and bruises had disappeared. Her shaven head had sprouted tendrils of hair covering the stitches. Looking at her, it was hard to believe the bus had rammed against her car crushing it and her. There was no proof she had been in a near fatal accident.

"I am coming right over." Neil broke off the call to phone Zoya. She dashed over to look after Reet and Roy. They never left the children unattended. Someone was always with them. Neil drove cautiously to the hospital, suppressing the urge to floor the accelerator. But, he had promised the children he would drive carefully. They did not want to lose their father.

He rushed into the hospital room. Yes, Rhia was breathing, yet she was still in a comatose state. Neil stared at her, willing her to open her eyes.

"How long now, doctor? When will she wake up?"

"We cannot say when she will wake up, or in what state she will be, if she does. No one can predict. She can wake up fine or ...."

Neil interrupted, "No, she will wake up fine," he asserted. "She has no choice."

The doctor cleared his throat. "Can I tell you something...as a friend?"

Neil nodded.

"You have two wonderful children, an equally wonderful and supportive family. These last months have been terrible for all of you. But now, there is nothing you can do except pray. You have done everything possible for your wife. Now let nature do its work. Look after your children; they are growing. You cannot continue to plant yourself at the hospital as you have been doing. It is not healthy for your children, for you, for all your family."

With the doctor's parting words ringing in his ears, Neil walked to hospital parking lot, climbed inside his car. He sat, thinking. The last six months had gone by so slowly, yet at the same time, so fast. Every day he went to the hospital expecting Rhia to wake up, smiling at him. Every day, every single member of the family expected Rhia to come back to them.

His life, and the lives of their families, had turned into mayhem. His and Rhia's parents were always in his home, cooking, cleaning, looking after them.

Zoya and Raoul neglected their own children to look after his. And Rhia's brother, Ray, constantly shuttled from his place to theirs, to be with them.

Neil started his car, drove home. He found the children studying under Zoya's eagle eyes. She told them they could go to their rooms. They did not know the doctor had called their father.

Zoya attacked Neil as soon as the children were out of earshot. "What did the doctor say?"

"Rhia can breathe on her own now. No, Zoya, she has not awakened yet. They do not know when she will wake up." Neil's voice trembled. "She has not budged, Zoya, not even batted an eyelash."

Zoya tried hard not to cry. It was the first time she had seen Neil break down. He had been stoic all along while everyone else showed despair.

Neil wiped his tears on his shirt sleeve, "She will be back. Soon. She will find us waiting and strong."

Zoya nodded mutely looking out of the window.

"Zoya, we need a housekeeper. Our parents cannot keep coming here to help out. Your jobs will be to love the children, but running the house—the cooking and cleaning—can be done by somebody else. The children must become independent now. They need to become strong. Can you look for a housekeeper?"

"That is a very good idea. Don't worry; I will ask around." Zoya wiped tears off her face.

****

Neil had made the right decision and Raoul supported him, wholeheartedly. Neil needed to be back in control of his life. Only then would the impotency which gnawed at Neil, fade way. The children needed to have a normal routine, stability. Neil's home had become a military base for the last six months. The children, all of them, were being over-indulged. Every day Raoul prayed for Rhia to wake up. She was the sister he never had. He loved her and respected her. They were a tightly knit family; what happened to one member impacted the others.

*****

The neighbours helped to look for reliable maids and housekeepers. Both Rhia's and Neil's mothers were consulted. They reluctantly agreed to allow Neil and the children to fend for themselves till a housekeeper was employed. Thirteen-year-old Reet became the mistress of the house while Roy, almost eleven now, helped with the shopping and the cleaning.

Neil became more involved in running his home, and the children thrived at helping him. They no longer mopped around the house. Neil marvelled at how his children had grown into responsible mini-adults. When did it happen? Time had flown so fast, he had not noticed the changes in them.

Nevertheless, Reet constantly demanded his attention, while Roy stayed aloof and was at times was openly rebellious. Neil suspected Roy blamed him for his mother's condition. He sensed Roy was holding something back. Lately Roy confirmed his suspicions.

Rhia did not leave the hospital. She was top priority for Neil who had a massive workload, which kept increasing. Still, his wife was his main concern. He timetabled his life into slots, spending some time working, but a lot of it at Rhia's bedside. He told her funny jokes or read to her from her favourite books. When they were alone, he kissed her forehead, her lips, cheeks, and hands, repeatedly asking her forgiveness, pleading for her to come back to them.

Sometimes the children stayed in the room with their mother to do their homework. Having their mother beside them brought them comfort. Reet had many things to tell her sleeping Mom. Her conversation would begin, "Ma, do you know what happened today...?" and an hour long monologue would ensue.

Roy's conversations were bulleted points, "Hi Ma. How are you? I am alright. School's good. When are you waking up? Love you."

The hospital staff went out of their way to give support to the family. The bus company compensated Rhia with a large payoff, and was required to foot her hospital bill as long as was required. Neil invested the money wisely. Rhia became a wealthy woman while she slept.

The first year was hard. They had expected Rhia to wake up, watching for any minute sign to indicate she was still with them. Neil never lost hope. He planned his life around Rhia's hospital bed. He refused promotions which would displace him. Eventually, he had to quit his job.

Neil started his own company with his own savings, never leaving Rhia for a day, while his company grew by leaps and bounds. He carefully scrutinized each potential employee before he chose them. Neil needed reliable people. He did not want to travel. The internet provided him with more opportunities for growth by monitoring his business through remote control.

Neil never imposed geographical boundaries on his children. They "chose" to attend colleges near home. He suspected one of the reasons Reet had fallen in love with Adi, was his business was in their town; and Adi was happy to remain there.

Roy opened his restaurant in the same town and owned branches in neighbouring towns. All three were bound to Rhia. The love she had for them remained fresh and strong, a bond which remained unbroken. Neil's pure faith strengthened the family's ties. They were still a team, a strong team. Mummy was only sleeping.

****

Over the past two decades Neil had learned to deal with his intense guilt. He could not turn back the clock. He had to remain strong for the sake of the children, and now for the grandchildren. He had become the rock around which the family revolved. The wise one. The old Neil, who betrayed his wife and neglected the children, had died. A new Neil had been birthed.

Standing in Rhia's shoes, multiplied his respect for her grew. As he carried out household chores and tried to be both mother and father to their children, Neil realized how much of herself, Rhia had given them. He appreciated her more with every experience. His love for her matured and intensified.

Neil wore his wedding ring as a prize, an armour. There had been temptations along the way, sometimes hard to resist. When loneliness flooded his heart, the feel of his wedding band, heavy on his finger, kept him from straying. This was Neil's penance, his way of paying tribute to a wife he had wronged. His way of earning her forgiveness.

The children had grown up, each becoming experts in fields of their own choosing. Both fell in love, married, had children. Time had flown; time had crept by. They video-recorded every major event so Rhia could see it when she awoke. There was never was a moment she had not been missed. And she was always part of their conversations.

_What would Ma have said, done? What funny things might she have said?_ She was raised to an almost saint-like figure in their eyes, their sleeping Ma. The sleeping beauty.

When alone with Rhia, Neil often kissed her lips, hoping the kisses would arouse her to want him when she awoke. He caressed her all over, insisting on her sensitive points.But her body remained unresponsive, cold. He could not reach her. To Neil, it was an intolerable punishment he had to bear. He bore it with grace, uncomplaining.

The wait was over now. She was awake, wide awake, and ready to move in her own home. Therefore she was strong enough. Neil would not feel guilty to seduce her. They did not have much time left to enjoy their lives together. At fifty-nine, he had to hurry. He could not wait to take her in his arms, hold her tight, and make love to her. To him, she was still desirable. He could not wait to burrow his head in her chest and cry for all the times he'd missed and needed her.

Neil was impatient to share his thoughts, his life with his wife, to tell her his troubles. Most of all he wanted to win back her love, friendship, affection and respect.

All this time he had shown a calm facade, but beneath the surface he was a seething volcano ready to erupt. Neil worked to control himself, fighting impatience. He wanted Rhia now. Rhia did not like weak men. This meant he must be tough to win her over. No doubts would be allowed to enter his mind.

Now was the time for action.

# Part 2
# Chapter Six

### Rhia in her own home.

"Not there, Reet!" Roy emphasized. "You do not put kitchen towels with hand towels! Separate drawers! See."

Reet harrumphed, walked off to supervise anything which would take her away from her irritating brother. The whole family whirled in Rhia's home that Saturday. Everyone was busy settling her in, adding the final touches, turning a house into a home.

Rhia moved into her new home with the help of her children, grandchildren, sister, and brother-in-law. Neil kept aloof. He was around, but did little to help her settle in.

Reet went out of her way to help her mother to choose the right pieces of furniture. Mila helped with the soft furnishings. Everything in the home was new. Rhia preferred the minimalistic style, which left plenty of space. She made sure the grandkids had their own private corner where they could retreat to do "their own thing." The little ones loved the house, on the beach. They decided to stay over the weekends and had already moved some of their stuff. Grandma was back and with her,more fun.

Reet and Roy's spouses, Adi and Mila, took their cue from them. They did not inquire about the bizarre situation, as they felt tension in the air. Marriage to their wonderful spouses had taught them there was a line they shouldn't cross. Neil, and his children, Reet and Roy, were members of their own secret society. They did not allow anyone else inside this circle. Adi and Mila suspected Rhia was not a member of the society as yet. They were human enough to find the situation funny, since they were also excluded.

It took Rhia a week to have the house furnished, to make it liveable. Roy stocked the pantry with tinned food, the refrigerator with fruits and vegetables, crockery, cutlery and kitchen linen were placed.

Roy rearranged the entire kitchen per his taste and expertise. He sat his mother down to prepare a menu for her, and to tell her food would be sent for her lunch and dinner. When she started to protest, he threw up his hand and said, "Don't waste your breath arguing." Knowing Ma, she would live on sandwiches and week old food, if something wasn't done. She would not bother to cook for herself.

Roy was the self-appointed king of all kitchens. He often went to Reet's home to rearrange hers as well. Adi had no problem with that and Sameera and Kevin loved to hear their uncle tell their Mom off. It was sweet revenge for all the times she had scolded them. They made sure to hang around within hearing distance when Uncle Roy was at their home.

Rhia felt as if she were living the past twenty years of her children's lives. They hadn't changed much. When their spouses and children were not present, Roy and Reet became typical brother and sister, squabbling children.

Amused by her children's bossiness, Rhia revelled in their love and care. In some respects, she'd recovered a piece of the time she'd lost with them. Deep down inside, she respected Neil. It could not have been easy for him to bring their children up single-handedly. She acknowledged he had done a marvellous job. She inherited a ready-made family. A loving one. Looking at them, no one would guess they had been apart for so many years. Her children and grandkids stuck close to her side. Rhia was happy. Really happy.

Rhia looked through the window and saw Neil from the back. He was standing on the beach gazing out to sea. The noise and chatter of the children must have become too much for him. A smile crossed her lips and her heart burst with gratitude. She moved closer to the window to pull the drapes aside so as to get a better view of the man who still made her heart race.

Neil stood watching the sun sink into the ocean. The scene was so familiar; it warmed her heart. Suddenly, Rhia froze, overcome with emotion. She choked up, then excused herself to go up to her bathroom. The magnetic pull towards Neil was still strong; she felt, the same attraction, the same drawing force which once joined them.

Rhia studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror and sniffed. Her pride slowly returned. She stiffened her shoulders, took a deep breath, and wiped away the tears. Many times Neil had rebuffed her. The wounds were still too fresh, too raw.

No. She would not go to him. He did not want her when she was young. Now that she was older, he would still not want her. Fully armoured against Neil's magnetism, with her pride as a shield and silence as her weapon, Rhia descended the stairs to rejoin her family and to fuss about the house.

The Gks, as the grandkids now wanted to be called, had taken over the ground floor bedroom. They were busy rearranging the closet, each fighting for more space for their clothes. Their parents, preoccupied with their own conversation, ignored their disputes.

Rhia smiled. Getting her grandkids was like getting her children back when they were at that age. Although Roy and Reet had not changed much as adults. Rhia understood Reet and Roy's scheme. She was grateful to them for sharing their children with her.

Rhia walked back to the window. Neil was no longer outside. _Where was he_? She surreptitiously searched the house for him. He was nowhere to be found... and this was her housewarming party. Surely, he could have stayed for dinner!

"Ma!" Roy yelled from the kitchen.

Oh Lord! When would the boy learn to control the volume of his voice?

"Coming, Roy; don't yell."

"Sorry Ma. Good habits die hard!"He burst out laughing.

"Well, the kids are listening. You will have to eat your words one day," Rhia retorted.

Roy turned his back to his mother so she could not see the smirk spread across his face. He couldn't help it. He'd noticed her manoeuvres. Searching for his missing Dad had put her in a bad mood. He knew his mother was trying to hide her irritation. One great defect was her curiosity. One part of her was curious about his Dad; she wanted to ask him about the past, about their lives. The other part wanted to remain aloof.

Reet and Roy decided to give her only the bare details. Aunt Zoya kept mum nowadays. His mother had a lot to deal with, a lot to catch up. They were slowly isolating her so Dad would be her only source of information.

Roy relished this devillish mood, and started to chuckle when he caught Reet glaring at him. This idiot brother of hers was going to give the game away. Admittedly, their mother might be confused and clueless now, but she was a sharp woman. She had a nose for devious plots. There should be no room for slip-ups.

"Ma, where do you want dinner, here or on the patio?" Roy inquired solicitously.

Rhia was not in the least interested, "Wherever you want, love." She'd almost snapped at him. What was this feeling? When Neil was in front of her, she wanted him out of her sight, but now that she could not see him, she was upset.

Rhia trekked up to her bedroom to look out of the window. Maybe, he had gone for a walk. Where was he hiding? She could not see him. She threw herself across her bed. Lord, she had to be careful; she was not thirty-seven anymore. The sudden movement jarred her. Hammering the pillow with her fist, she stopped to bury her head in its softness. Tears gathered behind her eyelids.

"Ma, dinner in ten minutes!" Put on your makeup and join us!" Roy bellowed from below.

_This boy cannot speak softly. And why should she put on her makeup?_ Rhia washed her face and went down with the firm intention of having a good time. If Neil did not want to be with them, it was his problem...his loss! Anyway, what difference did it make? He was absent most of the time before the cursed accident. She was used to it.

But...was she? Since she had awakened, Neil had orbited around her like the faithful sun. He was always there, within calling distance.

Rhia took a deep breath, descended the stairs. She would prove she was independent; she would be strong, and she would eat. Or...her family would know she was upset.

Roy, Reet and Zoya exchanged knowing smiles, both ecstatic their plan was working; but they had to be careful. Rhia could be highly unpredictable.

****

Claiming they were ravenous, the children were the first to demand their dinner. Roy had made his family proud by providing food prepared by his restaurant, plus a chef to work the barbeque grill. He had no intention of slaving at the stove and missing out on the fun.

"Gran, come sit next to me," Sameera demanded

"No, next to me." Kevin, the youngest one squealed.

Jas still liked to sit next to one of his parents. So he kept quiet.

"Ma, sit opposite me. I want to see your face framed against the wondrous waves," Roy declared like a prince ordering a decree

It struck Rhia as a flimsy excuse since the sun had already dipped below the sea. How could he see the waves at night? She decided not to argue. She sat down at her designated place. Sameera and Kevin scuttled to her side. Roy and Mila faced her. To their left, Reet and Adi held hands. Raoul and Zoya completed the circle.

****

Raoul, usually the solemn one, sat grinning after three cans of beer. To his way of thinking, it was celebration time now that the family was complete. Raoul did not understand all the confusion over Rhia getting her own place and living separately from Neil; but he smelled something brewing, and it wasn't beer. He knew his wife and Neil, well.

Chuckling at his own private joke, Raoul fixed his gaze on Reet and Roy and their adorable children. They'd grown to adulthood under his and Zoya's watchful care; they were almost his children, too. He noticed the mischievous sparkle in their eyes. Poor Rhia had no chance, or at least her chances were slim, pitted against the formidable foursome. Never mind that; it was time to sit back and enjoy. The family had suffered enough. The good times had arrived. Raoul reclined against the back of his chair to scan the family around the table. Neil was not there.

Raoul opened his mouth. "Uh...where is...?" He winced at a blow to his shinbone from a sharped-toed shoe. With a swift glance up, he met Zoya's glaring eyes. Nodding to show he understood, Raoul swallowed his words and pressed his lips together. Neil's absence must be part of their plan

****

As if by magic, the starters came in; drinks were served. Rhia chose a light white wine, and sipped it slowly.

Roy opened the conversation. "How is your project coming along, Adi? Ma, Adi is diversifying his business. He is trying something new. So, Adi, is my lazy sister helping you?" He couldn't resist teasing her.

Adi smiled and reassured Roy, his sister was a precious help and goddess in his eyes. Everyone began to share their news. The grandchildren spoke of plans they'd made to come over the following week. Reet and Adi discussed important projects in the works. Topping Roy's priority list were preparations for a wedding reception at his restaurant. Mila had taken a few days off from her business to help out. She owned a boutique and had an impeccable sense of style.

Zoya and Raoul were happy. It was their turn to announce their bit of news. "Rhia, and kids, Zoya and I are going on a holiday, finally."

"Wow, Uncle, wow, you finally decided on that holiday. Ma, this holiday of theirs has been postponed so many times, we have lost count." Reet informed

"Well then, we should make sure they board the plane and push them out of the country." Rhia suggested with a wink.

"Excellent idea, we should do that." Mila added

"Uncle, have you booked the tickets? Have you planned your holiday?" Adi inquired

"Everything has been settled, we will be off for two weeks. Rhia, will you be ok?" Raoul turned to his sister- in- law.

Rhia smiled, touched by his question. "I am alright. I have all of you, and you will be only a phone call away.

Raoul was all teeth, smiling from ear to ear. The beer had taken its toll. He had never been good at holding his alcohol. He knew Rhia was in safe hands. Neil would see to her.

Rhia joined in the family's conversations, listening, adding bits of encouragement here and there. She was happy for all of them; but one part of her mind was preoccupied with Neil's absence. Where was he? Pride kept her from asking.

The clink of china drew her gaze towards the kitchen. The waiters entered to set a bowl of soup before each family member. Still, Neil was missing. Stranger, was the fact no one mentioned his absence. Not even the Gks.

Rhia sighed. Not one thing could she do about it. The aromatic spices rose from her soup bowl to her nostrils, making her salivate. She dipped her spoon into the delicious concoction, marvelling at her son's culinary skills and those of his staff, who prepared this hearty meal. On her first visit to her son's restaurant, she had been impressed. Roy was no longer the unsure, short-tempered child of twenty years ago. She admired him for treating his employees with respect. His wife, Mila, always supportive, was the perfect mate for him. She complemented Roy in so many ways.

Rhia studied Adi; he was not very talkative except with his wife. He listened attentively to her bantering with Roy and conversing with others. Reet shared her attention with all of them but her left hand held her husband's fast.

The awareness she was blessed, washed over Rhia, her momentary bout of bad humour dissipated as she basked in her family's love. Their first family dinner was a success. A memorable evening filled with laughter, cheer and gratitude.

****

Rhia stood on her patio, listening to the sound of the waves gently spraying the sand. Darkness had fallen, and though the moon hid its face, she could make out the soft crest of waves unfurling one after the other. This night was unforgettable. She would hold it close to her heart and treasure it.

The children were gone and Roy's staff had taken care of clearing up. This was her first night alone. Alone, yes, after many years. Since she and Neil began their relationship, solo holidays were a thing of the past

One ambition Rhia had not yet fulfilled, was her dream to spend a few nights in the North Pole in an igloo, to live the traditional life of an Eskimo, except with tinned food. And bread, warm blankets, and Neil. That dream would remain just that, now, a dream.

She sighed, walked inside the house, locked the doors then went up the stairs to prepare for the night. After a warm shower, she climbed into bed lay listening to the surf. She loved the sound of the tide washing in. She loved the sea. The smell, the sound of it soothed her soul. It had been a long day, emotionally supercharged. She was very tired.

Drifting off to sleep, Rhia dreamed Neil was kissing her cheek. Or was it a dream? Either way, she didn't want to awaken. She smiled as he stroked her hair caressing it with gentle fingers. His lips felt good as they soothed her into a deep, peaceful, sleep.

****

Neil, perched on the armchair next to Rhia's bed, watched her sleep. It was the first time she'd lived on her own after their marriage. His wife was a confident woman, unafraid of new challenges.

He groaned. Neither had she shown any signs or regrets that she missed him at the dinner table. Would she ever need him again? Was there no place in her life for them...him? He'd tried to show he was sorry in many ways, but Rhia was stubborn. Neil's efforts had not worked thus far.

His heart sank as he watched the rise and fall of her chest as she peacefully slept. So many times he had watched her sleeping these last twenty years. Then he knew he could not reach her. Had the situation changed now? Yes. It was worse, Rhia would not respond to him, would not call him. Had he severed the ties between them permanently? Could she ever forgive him?

Neil felt a great loss. For twenty years he had imagined Rhia waking up, but this was not the reaction he had expected. In his daydreams, he would beg her for her forgiveness and she would relent after some time. They would live happily forever. Now, he felt as if he were stuck in quicksand; the more he moved, the more ground he lost.

Rhia was stronger than they had first believed. Neil had forgotten she possessed an independent spirit. She seemed to thrive being on her own. That was how he came to meet her. His strategy would not work. He would have to think up a different plan to win her back.

Rising from the chair, Neil caressed her hair again, sliding his fingers through it. Rhia had always liked being petted. He fought the urge to join her in bed, snuggle in close, now they were alone. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. No. He would wait. It was too soon. She would only push him away. She had never done so before, but she would now, and it would shatter him.

He slipped out of her house, into his house next door.

****

Roy stalked around the house. His Dad asked everyone to go home, but, as usual, he disobeyed. He made coffee while Dad sat by Ma's bedside, saying his silent goodnight to her.

They had been too optimistic. His mother was a tough nut to crack. Exhausted from the day's events, Roy's mind was blank; he could think of nothing to say to encourage his Dad. It would be useless to tell Reet his woes; she did not know the full story.

Roy's heart weighed heavy as he waited for his Dad's return. He had seen the momentary defeat in his eyes. Ma had not even asked his whereabouts. How could she be so hard?

His Dad slipped in quietly, head bowed. It hurt to see him like this. Normally, he was a lion for whom nothing was impossible. Roy offered him a cup of coffee.

"Why won't she forgive you? It has been twenty years! _Twenty_ years you have waited for her! Why can't she understand that?"

****

Neil did not interrupt his son. He raked a hand through his hair then sipped his hot coffee. Setting the cup down, he slowly inhaled. "Roy, time has flown for us, but not for your mother; the hurt is fresh. I won't win her back like this. I will have to be straight forward, ask for her forgiveness. This is between me and her, now. You guys must keep out of it as we have discussed. I will need to confront her alone. Your mother and I have an unfinished argument to complete."

"Daddy, if she doesn't agree, then what?"Roy had reverted to childhood, looking for reassurance.

"I will win her back. Believe that. Your mother still loves me, and I love her even more. Didn't you see the hurt in her eyes? Do you think she did not wonder where I was tonight? She did. But, she's also accustomed to my frequent absences and she slid back into the old routine of not having me around. He paused before adding, "I noticed she still sleeps the same way; but this time her hand did not stretch out to touch me. It is my fault she's got used to my absence. So, can I blame her if she does not miss me as much as I miss her?"

Roy stood up and gave his beloved Dad a hug. "You need to rest, Dad. I will stay the night with you."

"No son, go back to Mila. I can take care of myself. I need to rest. Tomorrow is another day. Let me handle this my way. Do not put pressure on your Ma, in any way. Let her be."

Roy reluctantly left, shaking his head. What a ridiculous situation. Both his parents were neighbours, living in separate houses. _Insane!_

****

Neil stepped out of the shower, feeling refreshed. With a towel around his hips he walked about the room, battling the temptation to go to Rhia. Now that she lived next door, he could not fight the urge. He held the keys to her home, staring at them. He gripped them until his knuckles turned white. In a fit of anger, he flung them to the floor then yanked open the shower door, again. Another shower should remedy the problem. This time, an ice-cold one.

****

Alone in her bed, Rhia tossed and turned, moaning and softly calling out Neil's name again and again. The slithering sounds of the sea made her dreams vivid. She awoke with a start, expecting to find Neil in bed, on top of her. Perspiration covered her body, her breath came in gasps. For God's sake, she was a grandma! She should not have these kinds of dreams.

She threw the covers aside and got up. In the bathroom she splashed cold water on her burning face. What was she supposed to feel at her age? How had her grandma felt? Had grandma and grandpa made love in their latter years? Rhia had no notion.

In frustration, she banged her fist against the counter, then hurried back to her bed to jump into it and hide under the sheet. She tried to sleep, but her mind raced. Why did she have these feelings now, and why did she sense Neil calling out to her? He had not stayed for dinner. Worse, he had not even said goodbye!

Both Neil and Rhia spent sleepless nights in their respective beds, tossing, turning, and longing for each other.

****

The next morning, Rhia woke up in a bad mood, angry at herself, at the world in general. She needed to vent. Wearing her one-piece swimming suit, she hit the sea with a vengeance. She decided not to swim out far, to swim parallel to the shore. Rhia swam slowly for over an hour until she became exhausted.

Feeling better, she slogged out of the sea towards her beach mat then stopped in her tracks when she spied someone sitting on the beach. On _her_ beach towel! Without her glasses, she couldn't make out who it was.

As she approached the mat, the person's face came into focus. _Neil! What is he doing here?_ She stopped directly in front of him, not sure what to say. Before she could think of a word, he stretched his hand towards her. Steam curled from the cup he held.

"Would you like some coffee?"

# Chapter Seven

### The Second Confrontation

The words echoed in Rhia's ears. Silently, she took the proffered cup, holding her breath to still her racing heart. Uncomfortably aware of Neil perusing her body, she took one sip then set the cup down to snatch the towel. She scrambled to shield her thighs and legs from Neil's gaze, then pulled a T-shirt over her head and down to cover her hips.

Her thigh muscles were still loose from lying in a hospital bed so many years. Her breasts were not as pert and proud as they once were. Old pains and insecurities rose up like a vengeance. If Neil did not find her desirable when she was thirty-seven, he had to be repulsed by her now.

Rhia sat down to sip her coffee, mustering every ounce of self control to appear dignified and composed. Her pride had taken a big dent, once, and she would not show her weakness again, even if she and Neil were now twenty years older.

A box of sandwiches was placed next to her. She helped herself, glancing sideways at Neil. He seemed oblivious to her inner turmoil as he gazed out to sea.

****

Neil fought to keep his eyes off Rhia. She looked cute with her hair plastered to her head and her T-shirt clinging to her curvy body. A body he still wanted. But patience was the key. The right time would come! Last night's temporary loss of confidence had disappeared. He would lay his cards on the table. Honesty was the best policy with Rhia. She would balk at emotional blackmail and all other manipulative games. Always straightforward she refused to play them.

He reached for Rhia's discarded towel. Kneeling behind her, he started drying her hair as he use to before the accident. He gently patted, then rubbed out the excess moisture while stalling to find the right words.

"Rhia, I am sorry I let you walk out of the house that day. I was a fool. I am sorry I did not stop you from leaving. Most of all, I am sorry for hurting you. I don't know what to say for what happened because I have no excuse. The blame was totally mine and I accept full responsibility. I wish there was something I can do to change the past, but nothing I do would turn back the clock. The only thing I can do is beg for your forgiveness. Do you understand what I am saying? I am _begging_ you." When Neil finished speaking, he gently rested his forehead on top of Rhia's head, his hands massaging her shoulders

****

Rhia froze. Her first impulse was to turn around and throw herself into Neil's arms, to cry on his shoulder. At the same time, anger rose inside her. She wanted to hurt him as he had hurt her. She could not forgive him. Opposite emotions raged in her heart. The hurt and anger rose in her chest while her heart pounded against her ribcage.

She could not forgive his coldness, his arrogance, his insensitivity or his cruelty. Yes, he had been cruel. His selfish act of betrayal crushed her spirit, destroyed her self-confidence, her self-image. Changed her personality from a sunny disposition to that of a nag and a witch. She despised the person she'd become. His infidelity had eroded her soul. She'd mentally flogged herself for giving him such power over her.

Love could devastate the soul. She had determined her worth in the love she saw in Neil's eyes and when the love got obscured, she felt she did not exist anymore. Rhia had lost too much of herself. Her level of self esteem was at zero

Rhia could not erase the past from her mind. She needed time to rebuild her life, to nurture her soul. Under no circumstances would she surrender her power, her happiness, her reason for living into another's hands, again. Not now, not ever. Neil taught her the lesson well. The sacrifice was too great.

Rhia finally spoke, her tone cool. "Neil, I don't think I can forgive you. Whenever I see you, I wonder how many times you betrayed me, if you were thinking of her when you were with me. I don't trust you. For me, time has stood still. For you, it has moved."

Rhia wanted to get up and leave, but not, yet. He needed to know how deeply he'd hurt her. She twisted around to look him in the eye. "I'm sorry, Neil, but I still don't want you in my life. Just being near you hurts."

"Please Rhia..." Neil's voice cracked. I'm not the same person. That man died. Come to know the new me. Learn to like me as I am now. If you can, learn to love me again. Give me another chance."

Rhia's narrowed her eyes. The nerve of him! She forced herself to speak calmly through clenched teeth.

"Why should I? Did you give me a chance? Did you give our marriage a chance? Did you give our family a chance? If I had not had this accident, we would have divorced and probably both be married to other people. Tell me, Neil, what is different now?"

The muscle in his jaw twitched, and pain showed in his eyes. It would kill him to see her with another man. Good! She'd hurt him.

"Rhia, I—" Neil started to argue.

Rhia raised a hand to stop him. "No, Neil. I am grateful to you for keeping me alive, and especially for taking good care of the children; but to love you again, to be bound to you, is beyond me. I don't have the heart for that. I want to live my own life, now. I am ready to do what I've always wanted. I have taken stock of my life and realized most of it was in vain. What have I achieved? The answer is, _nothing_!"

"You have two children. You have your grandkids. You have...me. You created me, Rhia. I became the man you wanted. Whatever I am, whatever we have...is because of you. Can't you feel it, Rhia? Can you not remember all the kisses we shared, the caresses? All those years of happiness? Did you not feel my touch? I love you. Don't keep punishing me more for my madness...please. Time has taken more than a pound of flesh from me. I can't be away from you; I cannot imagine my life without you! His voice broke. "You _are_ my—life,"

Rhia's shoulders sagged beneath his hands. Then he felt her shudder. Her silence remained unbroken. She was striving to contain her tears. Still, that awful silence. Neil returned his gaze to the sea.

****

Her head bowed, eyes shut, Rhia was bewildered. She did not know how to respond to his frank and vulnerable appeal. Neil had bared his heart and soul. Her heart and soul responded to his appeal, but her brain screamed, "Caution!" Caught in a hurricane of confusion between her heart and mind, her head started to throb. She rubbed her temple as a pain shot through it. She would pay the price for this encounter with a migraine. Why couldn't Neil understand? She needed time. How much more could she stand?

She got to her feet, shrugging off his hands, "I need space, and I need time. I _need_ to be alone. I cannot forget. I would like to, but I _cannot_. Let me be, Neil. Let me be, for some time. Let me think it through. I know the kids want us back together, and the grandkids will soon start asking awkward questions; but I need to be on my own. Please respect that," Rhia ended unsteadily.

****

Neil was shaken. Rhia was stubborn, but he hadn't realized how stubborn. A daunting task lay before him. Inhaling, he released a ragged breath, keeping his focus on the crashing waves. Those same waves had brought them together. Now they witnessed the impasse between him and Rhia.

He had made his decision and knew it was right. Rhia would be his again, no matter how long it took. Rhia was confused. Everything had hit her at once. That had to be it. If she was hurt and needed to lash out, so be it. But her place was with him, by his side...in his bed. He sank his teeth into his lower lip. He would not give up. The cards were on the table. Either there would be two winners...or two losers.

Neil exhaled a ragged breath. "I understand, Rhia I will give you the space you want. But I will always be nearby. I bought the house next to yours and moved in. I will be the first person you see when you come outside in the morning, and the last one you see before you go to sleep each night. I will not speak to you, if you do not want me to."

His fists clenched. "But you cannot keep me from seeing you, looking at you, looking after you, and loving you." He placed his right hand over his heart. "This is my right and even _you_ cannot take it away from me."

Neil stood and trudged towards his house, his heart beating furiously against his chest. Her pain had gotten to him. He felt her angst, and was angrier with himself than she was with him.

He entered his home then went to his bedroom to change clothes. After he'd changed, he grabbed the car keys and strode outside without bothering to lock up. A long drive along the coast should sooth his nerves. It always had.

The total control he had over his car, empowered him, dissolving the feeling of helplessness his encounter with Rhia had inflicted. Clenching the steering wheel, he flexed his muscles while he planned the journey ahead. With a full tank of fuel, he could drive for miles.

Two hours later and hundred miles from home, Neil's mobile phone tinkled. He parked his car and picked up is mobile phone.

"Hello."

****

As Neil strode away, Rhia tied the towel tighter around her waist. She slung her mat over one shoulder then plodded towards home, gripping the box of sandwiches in one hand, the thermos flask in the other. Neil had forgotten to take them away. A sense of déjà vu gripped her heart as she approached the house. She shrugged the mat down onto the patio, then walked inside. After dropping the sandwich box and flask on the kitchen counter, Rhia climbed the stairs to shower away the salty sea water from her skin.

She vigorously rubbed her sore body, blanking her mind from the upsetting encounter with Neil. She had swum too long. Her body was not yet strong enough for vigorous exercise. Or...was she just too old, now?

Rhia constantly forgot she'd aged twenty years. She hated it; it reminded her of all the plans she'd made before the accident; dreams that might never come to realise.

With great effort, she brought her thoughts back to dwell on the here and now. Regressing into bitterness and regret only depressed Rhia. She must think on the optimistic parts in her life. She imagined her grandkid's faces, thought about their antics.

They were her balm, her remedy...her healing. Their unconditional acceptance of her into their lives, cocooned her, soothed her hurts. Neil had done an excellent job as the head of the family. She would give him that much, but she could give him no more.

The entire family was tightly knit. Yet, Rhia sensed she lived outside of the circle, as a spectator, a wanted and beloved guest. She had to find her own equation. Neil's words had shaken her core. One part of her, wanted to melt into his arms and erase all the bitter memories. The other part of her was a deep, open wound—still bleeding—still pulsing with pain. She was emotionally damaged.

Rhia dressed, went into the kitchen, then washed the box and flask. As she dried the containers and put them away, she reflected on her predicament. So...Neil was her neighbour. He was close by; he hadn't left her. Who had arranged that? She had her suspicions.

What would have happened last night if she had known Neil was only a breath away? Would she have gone to him in the heat of the moment? Her logic protested, _No! I would not!_

Rhia closed her eyes as scenes of rejections streaked through her brain with the vengeance of a screaming train. Jaw clenched, fingers trembling, she gripped the flask and box, squelching a strong impulse to hurl them against the window. She spun around like a caged tigress, looking for a way to vent. The collage of pictures stuck to the refrigerator door, arrested her. She inhaled deeply, took in the pictures of her grandchildren ranging from birth to present-day, all merrily tacked by them.

Rhia set the flask on the table then walked closer for a better look. The cherubic smiles and dimples warmed her heart, softening it. The boys had Neil's features, whereas Sam favoured Reet.

Rhia realized she would not be able to avoid Neil; he had branded himself on all of them. He was everywhere; in their children, their Gks and... in her, as well.

# Chapter Eight

### Roy Acts

Neil parked his car to take the phone call.

"Dad, where are you?" It was Roy.

"I decided to get out and drive."

"Are you okay?"

"Sure, sure. I'm fine. I just needed to get away for a while to...clear my head." It was the first time he had driven this far from Rhia.

"That's good. Enjoy your day out. There's no need to hurry back. I'll check in on Ma."

Two hours straight Neil had listened to heavy metal music in his car, turning the volume up loud to suit his mood. He had driven a hundred miles from home, as the crow flies, nearing the next city.

The call reminded him it was time to turn back. He put down the phone, reflecting on the day's journey. It was not unlike his life with Rhia. Twenty years ago he'd driven out of her life and then returned to her.

After fuelling up, he stopped again at a coffee shop for a coffee and a bite. The day was his, to do as he liked. He would have preferred to spend it with Rhia. But she demanded her space and he had to give her that. It was ironic to him. He had been closer to her when she was in coma than now.

To see her vibrant, alive, even though angry at him, was a wonder. He couldn't take his eyes off her. These past months, he'd shot pictures and videos of her, surreptitiously. He stored them on his phone and constantly checked them out. He recorded her voice, her laugh, the softness in her tone when she spoke to the Gks, on his mobile phone. He listened to it as a lullaby to soothe him to sleep or whenever he missed her.

Roy told him he would take care of his mother. Neil smiled wryly. His son was up to something. Roy had a knack for getting into trouble where his mother was concerned. He suspected Roy would aggravate and interrogate her. It would be a matter strictly between mother and son; he would not be there to witness the scene.

****

Roy was all smiles as he packed a lunch then hustled his family into the car to drive to his Ma's.

As they drove along, Roy mentally replayed titbits of information to relay to his mother, He would settle on the news that would be sure to provoke her. He loved both his parents and he refused to take sides. He only wanted their happiness and anyone could see that depended on their being together.

****

Mila cast a suspicious look at her husband. Roy's cheerful demeanour, today, was in sharp contrast to last night's grumpiness. She tried to be patient, but his sudden mood swings began to affect her, pulling her down. She missed the fun loving husband that he was. Since her mother-in-law had awakened, their lives had revolved around Rhia's needs and wants. Mila wanted her husband back, for their family to return to the normal routine.

Roy glanced sideways at her. He must have noticed her solemn mood, because his smile faded. She was sure he had read her mind.

Mila was surprised when Roy pulled over then stopped at a coffee shop. The coffee shop was famous for its children's play corner. Parents could enjoy a light meal or coffee while the kids played.

Kevin, their only son and the apple of their eyes, sprung out of the car and ran inside as if fiends were after him. They looked at him and smiled. He loved the place where he could play to his hearts content.

"Mila, let's have some coffee," Roy suggested, caressing her cheek with the back of his hand. He missed her too, and was aware he had neglected her these past weeks. His Mom was wise when she ordered everyone to go back to their own lives. Still, he felt the urgency to make things right in the family.

"Okay...but won't your Mom be waiting for you?"

"She doesn't know we are coming. Mila, I need your help; let's talk over coffee?"

Mila looked into Roy's tired eyes and smiled. She loved this man. "Let's."

They walked in hand in hand inside. Roy ordered coffee for them and a hot chocolate for Kevin, and declined the tempting offer of rich, mouth-watering pastries. Sipping their coffee in silence, Mila and Roy relished in one another's company. It had been too long since they had time for themselves. As Kevin was caught up in his favourite game, the couple was able to enjoy the comfortable silence between them.

Finally, Roy broke the silence in the rush of words. "Mila, there are problems between Ma and Dad. I know you can see that. This is difficult to say, but you should know; they were on the brink of divorce when Ma had her accident."

Mila gasped. "What? I never once suspected it." So...there was more to her in laws' relationship than met the eye. She secretly thought Rhia was a selfish woman, happy to have her family catering to her whims. This information put things in a different light.

"Reet doesn't know about this. We will keep it between us. Reet thinks Ma is having problems adapting after twenty years of sleeping. We must not disillusion her. I know it's been hard on you, but please be patient with all of us and, especially with me." Roy held his hot coffee mug tightly in his hands. "I really want my parents back together. I have missed Ma so much, and I want to see her happy and safe with Dad."

He gave a wry chuckle "If it were up to me, Mila, I would lock her and Dad in a tall tower, then throw away the key."

Mila giggled, reaching across the table to squeeze Roy's hand. "Why do I have the feeling you are already building the tower?"

Things were beginning to make sense, her father-in-law's stoic silence, her mother-in-law's sadness and stubbornness, besides her restless expressions.

"So...Aunt Zoya knows the truth of the situation?" Mila inquired. When Roy nodded, she added. "I thought as much." When she dated Roy, his Mom was asleep. The day he introduced her to sleeping Rhia, was the day she knew Roy wanted a permanent relationship. Mila sometimes accompanied him on his hospital visits to see her. She had been with the family, around the hospital bed, on all major occasions.

After their marriage ceremony, just before heading off on their honeymoon, they paid Rhia a visit. And after she delivered her son in the same hospital, sleeping Rhia received the visit of her grandson.

Mila studied Roy's troubled face. Her husband had a sensitive side which attracted her from the beginning. Considerate and concerned for her welfare, Roy never made a decision without first consulting her to ask her opinion till recently.

Her father-in-law had instilled strong family values in Roy and Reet, and Mila was benefiting from them. She was loved, protected and respected by all the members of the family. Neil was affectionate and she respected him as her own father. Reet was very protective of her, on many occasions defended her, and stayed by her side during tough times.

As a member of the family, she was ready to do her part to rectify the relationship between Rhia and Neil. She had felt a twinge of pain as Roy seemed to shut her out, not confiding in her of his ploys and plans. Mila was honest enough to admit it, to herself.

Mila searched the depths of her husband's dark, gentle eyes. "If you want my help, I am with you. We are in this together. Just tell me what to do. You don't need to tell me what happened between your Dad and Ma; it is none of my business. But you can count on me to help make things work out."

Roy moved in closer. "Here's what I think we should do."

Mila heard the excitement in Roy's voice as he filled her in on his plan. Attentive to every word, she marvelled at her husband's craftiness and basked in his trust in her.

****

A frustrated Rhia shook her head to dispel turbulent thoughts. She sat down at the table. Her mind, a thick fog, she drummed her fingers on the tabletop. It was Sunday morning and she had the whole day to herself. A list of things she'd written down lay before her. Things she wanted to try. It was time to plan her life. Taking out the telephone directory Zoya loaned her, she thumbed through it.

An hour passed as Rhia jotted down numbers and addresses of skydiving agencies. The buzz of the doorbell interrupted her. She answered it and found Roy and his family beaming at her.

Overjoyed, Rhia smiled and hugged everyone. Roy came in laden with eatables, Mila appeared relaxed, and Kevin, the little one, dashed off to the beach and back like a torpedo. As Rhia helped the impatient little boy change into swim trunks, she laughed. Superman would lose a costume-changing contest with this child.

It was too early for lunch, but not for cocktails. Roy brought everything. He had become the "Mom" of the family, taking care of the feeding and nutrition. He revelled in cooking and was happiest in front of the stove. With a ladle in one hand and a pan in the other, he forced everyone to taste his dishes. Family members were his culinary guinea pigs.

Rhia thought about her daughter. Reet was a lot like her. Both lacked in the culinary department. Reet kept as far from the stove as possible, only cooking out of obligation.

****

Roy set out the cocktail glasses. Mila frowned then flawlessly enacted the lines her husband instructed her to. "Hey Roy, why only three glasses? What about Dad?"

"Dad? Oh...he went for a drive. He was almost out of the state when I talked to him."

"What?" Mila gasped, "He has never driven that far from home! Why would he?"

Roy wanted to give his wife the Oscar award for acting. She was good.

Roy shrugged. "I guess he felt like going for a long drive." He turned to face his mother. "You know, Ma, while you were sleeping, Dad stayed close by. He was never far away. But now that you are alright, he can drive anywhere he likes, indulge himself."

Roy turned his head to hide the wide grin splitting his face. He shook the cocktails with gusto and winked at Mila. The shock on his Mom's face was priceless.

Stifling a giggle, Mila looked down and fiddled with a button on her shirt. Suddenly, she jumped up. "I should check on Kevin." She hurried out to the beach, then burst into laughter; but only when she was out of hearing distance.

Roy noticed hit mother's look. So forlorn!

Blissful over his Ma's reaction, he ignored her sad face, diving into a nonstop spiel about his Dad. No longer tied to her hospital bed, he was free to explore the world. Roy dropped in the hint that the nurses had soft spots for him, and liked to help him out. They admired his devotion to his wife. Then he expounded on Dad's looks, how he was handsome and fit.

****

As Roy ranted on about Neil, Rhia felt the anger rise. Her eyes narrowed and her heart hammered against her ribcage. If only Neil had been this caring before the accident! Things would be different now. Maybe that was what Neil needed—a mute wife. She stared at Roy through slitted eyes, pursing her lips to avoid blurting out her thoughts. Roy was still singing his Dad's praises as he offered her a glass of Planter's punch.

He paused to ask, "So, Mom, what are your plans?"

Rhia's inclination was to strangle both father and son. She took a long gulp of punch, instead, in an effort to calm herself.

"I am going to learn how to skydive."

His eyebrows shot up.His jaw dropped. His hair seemed to spike up. Good, he was shocked. She raised her glass for a toast. "Cheers?"

Planter's punch spluttered out of Roy's mouth onto his shirt. Rhia thought his eyes would pop out of his head.

Rhia smiled. _Sweet revenge!_

"Wha-a-t-t?" he stammered

"What-what?" she asked. Taking another sip of the punch, she luxuriated in its fruity taste, the aroma, and the rum itself. Rhia smiled down into her glass then looked up to see her son wiping his face while frowning at his wet shirt.

"Ma, what are you saying? Skydiving? This is...dangerous. Dad would not allow it."

Her eyes blazed, but she pretended to be calm as she raised the trembling glass to her lips. Neil had no control over her. Let him try and stop her. "Yes, Roy, I will sky dive."

_Definitely,_ _now._

****

Roy knew he had blundered. "What I meant to say was, Ma...it is not safe. At your age...well..." His voice trailed off. He had stuffed both feet into his mouth then stumbled over the words that he'd hoped would quell his mother's temper. To stall for more time, he gulped his drink, praying Mila would appear to save him from his dilemma.

He still reeled from his mother's announcement. Skydiving! Why couldn't she take up something reasonable...something safe, as a hobby? Like sewing, knitting...or golf. Where the hell was Mila, and why didn't Reet make her entrance? He glanced up in time to see his mother hide a scowl behind her glass.

****

Mila sat on the patio to keep an eye on her small son. Kevin ran on the beach, laughing while he dodged the incoming waves. She overheard the conversation through the open window. Every single word. Horrified at what her husband had said, and with no idea how to diffuse the explosive situation, she rose and walked towards the beach, leaving a desperate Roy to deal with the dilemma he had created. _Let him dig himself out._

Roy's tactless words shocked Mila, and his narrow-minded attitude took her by surprise. She did not find it weird that her mother-in-law wanted to skydive. There was no age limit on attempting new things. She empathized with Rhia's acute sense of loss. Her mother-in-law was reclaiming her life, and with vigour. And since she and Roy had their heart-to-heart, Mila was fully involved in making Rhia happy.

While Roy mixed the cocktails and was busy getting himself into trouble with his mother, Mila had time to reflect on the situation. Rhia should be free to decide whether she wanted to live with Neil or not. She dare not voice her opinion; Roy would hit the ceiling. He was ready to move heaven and earth to get his parents back together.

Mila chuckled. Well, Roy might have to move heaven and earth. Skydiving? The thought thrilled her. She would like to join the club, too. But not now, since Roy opposed it.

****

"Ma, don't take me wrong. You are just out of the hospital; I will tie you up inside the house before I will allow you to do anything this dangerous." Roy banged his glass on the table then balled his hands into fists. "I am not losing you again!" He shouted.

His mother quirked an eyebrow and stared at him. Roy knew that look. His instincts told him he should find his Dad as quickly as possible. Dad could solve this problem. Instead, he sucked in a long, cool breath, forcing himself to stay calm.

"Then help me find a reliable skydiving club. I jotted down several names with numbers, but I don't know how highly any are rated."

Roy sighed. "Okay Ma, I will check it out. Leave it to me. I know some people in the skydiving business." He reached out his hand. "Come, let's go out and see what your grandson is up to."

Roy picked up Mila's drink before they exited through the patio door. While Rhia walked towards the sea to drool over Kevin, Mila started towards the patio to meet Roy.

When he caught Mila's eye, she gently shook her head. Yes, she was right; he had messed up. He set her glass on the patio table then signalled for her to stay with Rhia.

He hurried back inside to pick up the phone. It rang six times. He'd almost given up when his Dad answered "Hello."

"Dad! Dad! You won't believe this."

****

Neil pulled over to the side of the road to take the call. His heart froze. Had something awful happened to Rhia? He had left her alone for a few hours and there was already a problem?

"Calm down, Roy, and tell me what happened. Where is your Ma? How is she?"

"She is fine...for now. Dad, she wants to go skydiving. What are we going to do? She asked me to look for the highest-rated club. I really messed up this time. I opened my mouth, stuffed in both feet, and choked on them!"

Neil listened while Roy retold the story as coherently as he could.

"What do I do, now?" he wailed.

Neil rubbed his chin. "Find the best skydiving club and book classes for both your Ma and me. Hurry! Do it before your mother takes matters into her own hands and books one for herself. I will verify the best club through my contacts, as well."

"No, Dad, not you, too!" Neil heard the shock in his son's voice. He smiled at his concern. "Yes, don't worry; I will make sure we don't jump without wearing our parachutes, that the parachutes are in excellent condition, and that nothing happens to your Ma."

"And you too, Dad," Roy retorted, "Nothing must happen to you, either. You are both precious to us."

"I know, Son," he consoled. "Don't worry about your Ma. I will be there to look after her. Now, go and soothe her ruffled feathers."

"Dad, come back now. Come for lunch."

'I will be back in an hour, but ask your Ma if it is okay for me to come over."

"Dad!"

"Roy, do as I tell you please. I don't want to impose on her."

"Will do Dad." Roy rung off reluctantly.

Neil chuckled. _There will be fireworks._ Roy was in for a tough time. He had only known his mother as _Ma,_ never as an antagonist. Until now. He took a deep breath and switched on the engine. Skydiving! Trust Rhia to come up with something exotic. Time to head home. He longed to see his wife.

****

Rhia finally calmed down. Playing on the beach with her grandson soothed her. She tried to see the situation from Roy's perspective. When he said she was too old, now, that pinched a nerve. Her fifties had come too fast. She had been cheated out of twenty years of slow aging. Inside, she did not feel anywhere near fifty-seven.

Life wasn't fair. Rhia's tastes had not evolved. And in her heart and mind, she was twenty years younger. She did not have the maturity of people her age; she felt closer to her children than to Neil. In some ways he was a stranger, old and grayed—yet still sexy. She had to admit her body still responded to his when he was around. Him taking a long drive, reminded her of the many times they had taken those same lengthy drives and made out in the car, before returning. Her cheeks burned.

"Gran, why did you stop talking? I want to hear more." Kevin's voice broke into her sensuous thoughts and she fell down to earth with a thud.

Gran, she was. Kevin's beaming smile warmed her heart, chasing away the naughty thoughts. She continued with the story that piqued Kevin's curiosity, the one which explained why mermaids do not swim ashore. A marvellous story invented by her, and currently being enacted by her grandson—the next Spielberg in the making.

****

From the patio, Roy observed his mother and son playing like kids, chasing waves and splashing water on each other. He and Mila heaved a sigh of relief. Roy was brought back to his childhood when she played in the same way with him. Ma was slower now, weaker. His heart squeezed in his chest. He had pined for her. Every birthday, every festival, she had been missed, every moment had been incomplete. He wanted to hold his mother in his arms, never let go.

Reet and he had hated to attend their friends' birthday parties and see their Moms pampering them. Dad had done everything for him and Reet. They were lucky to have a dedicated and loving Dad.

Still Ma's love, her special care, the way she could transform the simplest of events into a grand show; they had missed that. She could create a feast out of sandwiches. Family picnics became treasure hunts. Ma could keep them in splits with her dialogue and antics that only she could think up. His throat thickened with emotion.

A long time back, Roy decided that divorce would never be an option for him. Reet felt the same way. He had always wanted a family, and a child needed both parents. Roy looked at Mila, brought her close to him, and kissed her hard. He loved her so much. He would not lose any occasion to show it to her. He held her tightly against him, smiling into her eyes.

He would make things right. He would get the family back together.

****

When the blazing sun rose to its height in the sky, Roy shaded his eyes and yelled, "Almost time for lunch. You two kids, get inside the house and up to the bathroom!"

Rhia and Kevin raced back with Kevin winning by a large margin.

"Champion, into the bathroom, and shower fast. You, Ma, upstairs and faster, otherwise no dessert for either of you."

"Dad, Gran can have dessert. She is your Mom!" Kevin giggled while his Dad tickled him.

Rhia grinned sheepishly, she was wetter than Kevin. "Thank you, my darling Kevin. You are my knight in shining armour."

"Love you Gran"

"Love you too baby, and have your shower, fast. I am hungry." Rhia ascended the stairs as quickly as she could. Playing with Kevin had cleansed her of anger and resentment.

Fifteen minutes later, as they sat down to eat, Neil's car pulled into the garage next door. Roy jumped out of his chair and streaked outdoors. Mila and Rhia exchanged knowing smiles as they watched him sprint to his Dad's house.

Rhia unfolded the napkin, placed it in her lap. "Roy was like that when he was ten, and he hasn't changed a bit. He was impatient; he could not wait for anything. Everything had to be now—this instant."

Mila laughed. "He hasn't changed. He will strive till he gets what he wants. Even if he has to nag bully, cajole and argue."

"What does he want now, Mila?" Rhia asked, her gaze fixed on Mila's face.

Mila sighed. "I will be frank with you. First, he wants you to be happy. Second, he wants his Ma and Dad back together."

Rhia appreciated her daughter-in-law's honesty. This woman surely loved her son as much as she did. "I don't know about Roy's second wish, but his first wish has been fulfilled."

A dreamy look flooded Mila's eyes before she exhaled. "Life is very short isn't it? Anything can happen at any time. It would be a tragedy to waste the good times."

Roy marched into the dining room, stopped at the table and gripped the back of his chair. "I asked Dad over for lunch." He hesitated. "Hope it is okay with you, Ma?"

Rhia, mindful of Roy's wishes, smiled, and nodded. "It's okay."

Though she had not brought up the "coincidence" that Neil's home was next to hers, she suspected it was his and Neil's plot. She appreciated her son's allegiance to his Dad and to her, and understood Neil's determination to win her back. This time, did he mean, till death us do part? Neil was more tenacious than Roy, and much more subtle.

They waited for Neil to come in, wondering what took him so long. Rhia checked the clock regularly, playing with her fork and spoon. The little one gobbled down his lunch.

When Kevin's sleepy eyes peered at them, Mila said, "Come on, baby, it's time for your nap."

Mila and Kevin disappeared down the hall, Rhia spoke with an endearing smile. "If I promise to try to patch up the relationship between me and your Dad, will that console you?

Roy's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "How?"

Rhia threw up a hand to stop his questions. "I don't want to go into the details."

"Ma, I know. I overheard your and Dad's argument. I was hiding in my room when you told Dad to move out." He wore a sheepish grin. "I skipped school that day."

"You did what?" Rhia squealed, jumping up from her chair. "You skipped school?" Her son! Why? And why had she never found out? She glared at him. "Was it the first time? Answer me."

"Ma! That was twenty years ago, and yes, it was the first and last time. Dad saw to that." Roy looked at her, a plea in his eyes. "I think you are missing the point here."

_How terrible! His friends must have pulled him into their schemes_. Rhia forced herself to focus on the main point of the conversation, although she would love to spank her son for even thinking of such a thing—even if it did happen twenty years ago.

On the other hand, she felt compassion towards him. _Poor Roy! What he must have gone through._ And she was not there to console him. "So, you heard everything?"

"Yes, but I told Dad only recently. I don't know the details of what happened between you two, and I don't want to. But, Dad has loved only you; I know it for sure. He never spent a single night away from us. Please believe me; if he had a girlfriend, we would have known. Whatever he did, please give him another chance. He deserves that, at least," Roy pleaded.

Rhia wondered why Mila had not returned. She was probably tucking little Kevin into bed. Maybe she had snuggled up next to the child while he dozed off.

Her brow creased. "Does Reet know...everything, too?"

"No, she doesn't, and I don't want anyone to tell her."

"When did my son grow to be so wise?" Rhia walked around the table to pull Roy into a tight embrace. Tears gathered in her eyes and she swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to overwhelm her. She loved Roy, so much. All those stages in his life she had missed! Like watching him grow into a young man, seeing him mature into a responsible husband and father. Mila's open admiration of her husband was proof enough that her son had become a man any mother would be proud to call 'Son'.

Roy's wish did not change the facts. Neil had been unfaithful, and she wasn't sure she could pick up where they had left off. "Roy, please...try to understand. Don't rush me. I need time, my love." _Time for my heart to heal._

"Am I bullying you on this, Ma?"

Rhia arched her eyebrows. "Well, you are not very subtle, you know. No, you are not bullying me. I am lucky to have a son who cares enough to try to force me to do what he believes is the right thing. It's just too soon." She smiled before glancing through the window. "Now, where is your Dad? I am ravenous."

Roy kissed the crown of her head then walked outside in search of for his Dad.

****

Neil saw Roy approach as he relaxed on his patio, gazing at the sea. "Dad, come have lunch; Ma is hungry."

Neil chuckled, shaking his head. Ma still ruled. "I came over a few minutes ago, but you and your mother sounded as if you were caught up in an important discussion. I didn't want to interrupt, so...I came back here."

Roy wrapped his arm around his Dad's shoulder. "It wasn't more important than you." They walked towards Rhia's place, each deep in his own thoughts.

Neil turned to look his son in the eye. "So, who do you think will win?"

"Win what, Dad" Roy did not know what else to say. Was he referring to himself and Ma?

"The Wimbledon's championship?"

"Oh!" Roy laughed, "Dad, you are something else."

When they walked through the door, they found Rhia seated at the table. Mila had joined her. The women were sipping their second glass of planter's punch.

Neil walked over to Mila, greeted her with an affectionate kiss on the cheek. When he reached Rhia, he clasped her shoulders, they grew rigid. Then he felt them relax. Rhia offered up her cheek to Neil. He bent to kiss it.

****

Rhia savoured first kiss from Neil since her awakening. A chaste one, but it was nice. His touch sent shivers down her spine and the warmth of his lips against her cheeks raised her temperature. Her body melted at Neil's touch, unsure how to behave.

The lunch of cold cuts was tasty and fun. The women were already giddy from the punch; everything was funny to Rhia. Roy's repertoire of spicy jokes shocked his mother, then sent her into giggling fits.

Neil enjoyed watching, and joined in their laughter. Their son could be such a joker. Halfway through the meal, Reet and Adi walked in with a picnic basket. After berating her brother for not informing her of his visit, Reet added two more dishes to the meal. Meanwhile, Roy ignored his sister's reproaches and rose to mix more cocktails.

"Where are the little ones?" Rhia asked, looking through the window.

"We dropped them at Adi's parents to spend the night. They wanted to visit their grandparents." Reet replied taking a seat next to her husband.

The three couples sat down in pairs. It had been a long time since Neil felt so complete. Rhia giggled, near hysterics, by his side. He threw his left arm over her chair back, letting it dangle and made sure he 'accidentally' touched her as much as he dared.

When his hand brushed against Rhia's face and shoulder, shock waves coursed through his body. What he'd give to pull her into his arms and passionately kiss her lips! Completely relaxed, the tension gone, the wariness which normally shrouded Rhia in his presence, had vanished. Was this the result of too many drinks, or the talk she'd had with Roy?

****

Reet felt the change in atmosphere. Ma was relaxed, Dad looked content, and her idiotic brother had grown worse with age. Roy had them rolling with laughter, especially their mother. Her laugh was hilarious. The force of it shook her whole body. Ma laughed with the abandonment of a child. Adi, the quietest of them, almost fell off his chair while he banged his fist on the table at Roy's latest joke. Where did her brother excavate these pearls? Reet wanted to freeze the moment—capture it and keep it for a lifetime.

She caught her father's eye. Silent communication passed between them. She could read his thoughts and was sure he read hers.

She winked at him then turned her attention to her husband.

Adi was thoroughly enjoying himself. She had neglected him these past weeks. It was time she reverted back being the sexy wife and reward him appropriately for his patience and support. The kids would stay at her in-law's for the night while she focused her attention on Adi. She slipped her hand under the table and squeezed her husband's knee. He covered her hand with his and turned towards her. Reet smiled, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and breathed in his ear, "Tonight!"

Reet could tell Adi received the message. The emotions in the room soared. She saw the tension of the last weeks fade from his once strained countenance. At last, the family was free from the underlying sense of sadness which always undermined their happy occasions.

The meal ended with Roy's command. "Guys, on the beach, and girls, in the kitchen! Clean up women; we men are going to soak our hot bodies in the sea and check out the scenery."

The women feigned a good-natured protest as the men filed out of the house stripping off shirts and pants as they went. They had no shame! Dressed only in their briefs, they raced towards the beach. Thank God, it was deserted.

Rhia started to clear the table with Reet and Mila's help. The young women chatted away about the latest celebrity scandal while they worked. In no time flat, the dishwasher was crammed full and the dining room returned to its normal state.

Rhia let out a contented sign. "I'm glad that is done. Let's go out and relax on the patio."

Reet and Mila followed her outdoors where they lounged on the soft, reclining chairs and gazed out to sea, each lost in her own thoughts.

Rhia laid her head back, closing her eyes. "Ah, this feels wonderful." Reet and Mila seconded it, closing their eyes to relax, also.

On the edge of the sea, the men sat with Neil in the middle. They basked in the cool waves breaking against their bodies, and allowed the effects of alcohol to dissipate.

Neil broke the silence. "Thank you Boys." He received a pat on each shoulder. One from his son, the other from his son-in-law.

Men were said to be of few words. At this moment, none were needed.

****

Neil watched Rhia sleeping, as he had so many times. She had passed out on the patio chair a few minutes earlier and lay curled on her side, hugging a cushion to her chest. The children had gone home, but he stayed to watch over Rhia, a job he loved. He longed to be the cushion she hugged; at least he could hear her heartbeat, feel her warmth.

Neil pulled his chair closer to hers to gently caress her hair. When Rhia purred in her sleep, his restraint failed. He answered with a growl then ran his fingers through her hair gently massaging her scalp with one hand while he cupped her face with the other.

Neil memorized every inch of her face; the shadow under her eyes, the contour of her cheeks, the bow of her lips. He thirsted for her. He hungered for her; for her touch, her caresses, the special way she curved her body to fit his—the way she repeated his name in different tones throughout their lovemaking, as if it were a prayer. He wanted Rhia to possess him, to claim him, to brand him.

Neil shivered. It had become chilly. Carefully, he picked Rhia up and carried her to her bedroom. It was a physical effort in two ways. He was not as strong mentally or physically, as he had been twenty years before. Secondly, all he wanted was to wake her up with kisses, seduce her and take her.

But he would wait for his wife to reclaim him. It was not a matter of ego. Neil was ready to grovel if need be. He carefully laid her on the bed then covered her with a blanket. Then he feathered light kisses on her forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, before he grazed her lips. He felt an answering flutter, so pulled back before he succumbed to his desire. Neil walked downstairs, then saw to it Rhia's home was secured, before he trudged back to his own lonely abode.

# Chapter Nine

### The Adventure Begins

"Ma!" Roy's voice boomed in her ears the next morning.

_This boy really does not know how to speak softly._ "Yes, Darling? Speak softly please, I have a headache," Rhia muttered over the phone.

"You have a hangover? Ma, you shame me. You had just two drinks!"

_Two drinks? It feels like ten_. "Boy, behave!" Rhia hissed. This was not the time to tease. Had someone dropped a brick on her head?

"Ma! I found the best skydiving club for you. Roy toned down his voice before he added. "Just tell me when you are ready."

"Tomorrow, dear. Now, don't shout. I am going to rest now." Rhia whispered, hoping he would take the hint.

Roy adopted the same whispering tone as his mother. "Okay Ma, I am coming over with your meal. I'll leave it in your fridge. Don't worry about me; I'll be quiet. You won't even know I'm around. I have your spare keys."

Rhia's splitting headache pounded in her temples. Her body was not accustomed yet to either alcohol or heavy meals.

She had ended the previous afternoon curled up in a chair outside on the patio, waking up once to see Neil bent over her. Then fell asleep again. Neil had put her to bed. It seemed he was determined to keep his vow. He was the first one she saw when she awoke, and the last one she saw before she fell asleep. He came over, earlier that morning to drop off fresh-squeezed orange juice and a box of sandwiches. If their love could be measured, it would be by the amount of sandwiches they had made for each other over the years.

Rhia closed the doors then pulled the curtains. A darkened house meant deeper sleep. Miserably, she plodded up the staircase to her room, holding her throbbing head. After easing herself down on the bed, she tried to recall the event of the previous evening.

Sensations of anger, resentment, warmth, happiness, contentment and finally, being cocooned flooded her memory. Her mind paused on the last sensation, struggling to remember an event that triggered the feeling. She could not.

She immersed herself in the memory of this wonder, felt her hair being caressed, her lips being kissed. Rhia smiled. A part of her knew that only Neil could evoke such a complete feeling of being loved. She dozed off into a peaceful sleep.

Neil answered Roy's call to confirm his appointment with the skydiving club. He chuckled. Trust his wife to come up with something outlandish to attempt. Then he was off to work. Neil had a business to run, and a wife to look after, whether Rhia liked it or not.

****

Rhia spent the morning snoozing and resting. Three hours later, refreshed from her long nap, she drove to the nearby town and bought her kit for flying. Before she turned in for the night, Neil came over to make sure she was secure. He did not knock on the door or come inside. Instead, he checked all the doors and windows from to ensure they were locked.

Loneliness and desire panged Rhia as she watched him walk back to his own place. No! She would not watch him; neither would she allow herself to mourn over what was lost. Rhia snapped the curtains close. Then marched upstairs to her room, to block the disturbing feelings.

****

The alarm screeched at 4 a.m. Rhia hopped out of bed, excited to begin the new adventure. Dressed and ready to go, she started to open her fridge door when a knock sounded at the door. She opened it to find Neil wearing a half smile, holding a box of sandwiches under one arm and a steaming pot of coffee in his hand. It was no surprise to see him attired like her. Well...surprised, yet not surprised. She suspected that Neil would join her in her skydiving lesson. After all, Roy and his father were close. They schemed together. She would swallow the questions for the time being.

Neil set the coffee pot and box on the counter. "I thought you might want something to eat before... Anyway..." He shrugged his shoulders, turned to leave.

Rhia touched his arm. "Wait. "Stay; let us have breakfast together. I will make some more sandwiches."

Neil nodded at the box. "There is enough for two. We are not supposed to have a heavy meal. How are you feeling, now? If you are not well, we can always postpone. You have to be fit for the lesson." Neil's gaze skimmed her from head to toe. She appeared to be alright.

Did he not notice she'd caught the "we" in his sentence? "I am fine; but next time if I even look at a glass of rum, please give me a whack. I never want to touch that stuff again!" When Neil grinned, Rhia's heart beat faster.

"Don't worry. I'll spank you if you try. We better keep some Irish cream on hand for you. Hard drinks never agreed with you. Just be prepared to become Roy's guinea pig." He chuckled. Our son likes to invent new cocktails, which he makes us taste. We are his official guinea pigs."

Rhia wracked her brain for a safe topic of conversation. _Ah...the children._ She would ask him something she was curious to know. "Do Roy and Mila plan to have another child?

****

Neil sensed a cloud of melancholy enveloping Rhia. "I don't know; I never asked him. Both Mila and he seem content with the size of their family. Do you want another grandchild?" Neil asked observing Rhia's sadness.

She shook her head. "It's just that I didn't get to see the others when they were babies. I miss that so much. I wish I had been there for them during those developmental years. You and I can turn back the clock, try to work out our problems; but the time with the children is lost forever. I cannot capture them as much as I wish. I miss that terribly." Rhia sighed.

"Still, I realize they have their own lives. I don't want to take too much of their time away from their families. It is not healthy. Do you understand what I am trying to say?"

Neil nodded. It was the longest conversation they had shared without awkwardness emerging. Neil completely understood. Rhia's children had been _her_ life. And he, above all people knew what she had missed. He had felt the same sense of loss when Reet and Roy left the nest.

Silence ensued. He watched her stir her hot coffee then sip it catiously from the spoon. _Old habits die hard._ She was the same Rhia. _His_ Rhia.

Rhia was nobody's fool. Very little got past her keen eyesight. She asked the obvious. "So, you are coming to skydive, too?"

"Yes. Do you mind?" He could not look at her, his fear of rejection strong.

"You won't leave me alone, will you?" Rhia whispered, looking down into her mug.

_I never intended to leave you. You were mine. You are still mine._ Why couldn't she understand? He wondered why his grip hadn't shattered the mug between his hands. "Do you mind me coming along?"

"No, I don't mind. I have never done anything major without you. It is of no use; I cannot fight you." Rhia continued, still focused on her coffee mug. "If I do, the children will suffer. Roy already gives us too much of his time and energy. I don't want to be the proverbial 'cog in the wheel.'"

Her words cut to the core. Neil studied her. How can you say that, Rhia? How can you say you are a cog? You are the one who binds our family together; you are our world! Our problem is ours, alone. I agree with you. We will work it out; but you are right. Roy needs to look after his own family, now." Neil stretched his hand across the table to grasp Rhia's arm.

She pulled it away, smoothed a strand of hair away from her face. "Did Roy give you a hard time when he was growing up? He bunked school that day, you know. He overheard our fight."

"Roy was a typical teenager. I always suspected he knew something. He would give me a look, let a cutting remark slip, or get a cocky attitude. I am sorry he overheard our argument. But...I am grateful he has forgiven me."

Rhia's head reared up. She looked at him sharply. "And I suppose, I am bad because I cannot forgive?"

He had not intended that his words sting, but they had. "Don't take it that way Rhia. Please...I didn't mean to target you. You cannot forgive because what I did was unforgivable. But what you will not accept is, that infidel Neil died years ago. Learn to know the new me for who I am now," he pleaded. "Give me a chance. I will prove I am a different person; learn to judge me as I am now. The old Neil exists no more," he added with gentleness in his voice.

"Treat me as a stranger, if you like, but let us become reacquainted, that we may come to know one other again." He reached across to clasp her hand again. "Rhia, we don't have that much time. We are both past middle age. Both you and I. Let's face it. We are in our late fifties, Darling. Let us live for today and all the tomorrows ahead. However many there are."

Rhia fell silent. Of all the fears, death terrified her most. Dying before she could enjoy her children and grandchildren, to her heart's content. She sighed, gazed into Neil's eyes, her hand clasped inside his. "I will try Neil; give me time. It still hurts like it was only yesterday."

Rhia heard Neil's heart and his unspoken request. He was sure of it. He straightened to glance at the clock. "We must hurry, Rhia, if we want to reach the club at 5:30."

They drove in separate cars. Neil fixed his attention on the road, following Rhia's erratic driving. He made sure no car pulled in between them. This woman he loved was a menace on the road. Her hapless driving could cause another accident. Though the accident was not her fault, it had ingrained fear in him. Fear of losing Rhia all over again.

It would be futile to try to explain it to her. She was unpredictable. Her silence hid her real feelings. Yet, there were moments when she revealed her heart, when she was truly herself. Like a few minutes ago, before they left the house. He treasured those intimate moments, but did not want to suffocate her. He would not force his affections on her. Rhia would come to him when the time was right.

Neil had not had the time to research this sport, but he was confident Roy had chosen the most reliable skydiving club. His son had teamed them with expert sky divers who would dive in tandem with them.

Neil was physically fit and Rhia was off medication for the moment. Roy had given his mother's medical history to the sky diving instructors.

Neil breathed easy when they reached the club, safely. They parked their cars side by side, then walked up to the office together. The friendly instructors welcomed them warmly and were very helpful and reassuring. Both listened attentively to the detailed instructions they were given.

****

It was a fine day, windy and slightly chilly. Rhia loved this kind of weather. The cold wind brushed against her face, weaving through her hair. To keep it out of her face, she secured her hair in a tight pony tail, before leaving home. She made sure no grey showed. It seemed she was constantly at the hair dresser's to get them covered.

She hated her accelerated maturity, or rather, aging; though she kept her paranoia well-hidden from her family. Zoya understood her fear—her sense of loss. Her children would not understand. She was "Ma" to them. Rhia also wanted to look her best for Neil, too. Her pride demanded it.

She was excited about skydiving. It had been one of her dreams for as long as she could remember. After a long time, she was finally doing something she had always wanted to do. Already skilled in skiing and water sports, now she wanted to conquer the skies.

Deep-sea diving gave her a sense of tranquility and peace. The silence of the ocean, its beauty, the sensation of being back in the womb, buffeted by the water, relieved her from stress. Skiing gave her freedom to race against her husband as an equal. He was not good at skiing and she always beat him.

Rhia wondered how skydiving would feel. She'd heard it was liberating. How she wanted to be liberated! To be free from the constant, nagging pain eating at her heart—the doubts which suddenly attacked her, and the loneliness she'd felt since Neil had distanced himself from her twenty years ago. Free from a sense of helplessness, and the loss which engulfed her. All these destructive emotions she'd carefully hidden from her family.

****

A wall stood firmly between Neil and the woman he loved. As parents they were one, but as a couple, the wall was still impenetrable. Neil felt it sharply as he collided with it time and time again, injured himself by hurtling against it, in an effort to break through.

With age, came wisdom. Neil understood that the wall could not be forced. Rhia was cocooned in an eggshell and would only come out when ready. If he forced his way through the shell, their relationship would suffer. He would wait for the right time. She would break out, voluntarily, without his assistance. Only then they would have a chance.

He planned to turn on the heat, figuratively and literally. _His love would be the incubator for his chick_ Neil chuckled. He loved puns. Rhia was not the only one with doubts. He had also aged. Neil's skin was not as firm as before; his hair had grayed. Wrinkles splayed out from the corner of his eyes and formed around his mouth.

He was not as strong as he'd been twenty years ago. Sometimes he wondered if Rhia still wanted him. She had last seen him last when he was thirty-nine and virile. When these thoughts tortured Neil, he consciously forced himself back to the present to focus on his love for Rhia. Only then did the despair come to a standstill.

While the instructors clicked pictures, Neil kept Rhia close. Unknown to her, he had started a photo album filled with their pictures. He needed a few present ones to add to it. There were not many, since Rhia avoided him most of the time. In their family photos, the Gks were firmly planted between them. He smiled. Yes, the little ones made excellent chastity belts.

Neil kept his eyes riveted on Rhia. It was the first time they had been alone without their family. He could see she was more relaxed, more at ease. He suspected it was not easy for her to jump the decades to take the new roles in her life. After a long time, she seemed carefree and excited. Rhia wore the same look, today, as she had the first time they had met.

Neil, Rhia, and their instructors, along with several other skydivers, boarded the small plane. The plane took off to rise to the right altitude. During the flight, the first-timers were harnessed to the instructors. The plane door opened and cold air blasted them. Rhia was ecstatic. She waited excitedly for her turn to jump, till she saw Neil bail out of the plane.

Then a scream pierced the air. Rhia could not believe it came from her vocal chords. She saw Neil disappear into the void below and it sent her into frenzy. She dragged her two-hundred pound, six foot too instructor towards the door. He had to scramble to keep up with her. The poor man had no choice in the matter since they were harnessed together. For a hundred and eight pound, supposedly-frail woman, Rhia was strong. She flung him out of the plane along with herself.

As the ground rushed up to meet them, Rhia frantically searched for Neil, unaware they were thousands of meters above the ground. Finding Neil was her only quest.

As the ground below zoomed closer, the instructor took control of their dive. This woman was mad. "Ma'am," he screamed, "What happened?"

"My husband! He...he fell from the plane and I cannot find him!" she shouted.

Dumbstruck, the instructor calculated what could be done to save the poor fellow. He searched below for a man free-falling to his doom. Years of training helped him guide their dive skillfully. Then he spied his colleague below with a client. "Ma'am, was your husband strapped to an instructor, like you?" He bellowed.

"Yes, he was!" she hollered back.

"Then Ma'am, he is good hands. Look! There he is enjoying himself. Now, you relax and enjoy your first dive."

"Can we go to them?"

"Yes." With that simple word, the instructor dived towards his colleague, then reoriented them till she faced Neil.

Rhia was relieved. The scare was slowly fading and she started to enjoy flying. If she could find words for the skydiving experience, light and freeing would best describe how she felt. She was definitely coming back to attend advanced classes so she could free-fall on her own. With Neil of course. This was absolute freedom, the ultimate desire of man to fly.

****

Neil was having the time of his life. Securely strapped to his instructor, he basked in the sheer joy of flying and seeing the world from the sky. When he saw Rhia, his smile widened. He stretched his hands towards her. Rhia returned the smile. They held on to each other as the instructors hovered above them like guardian angels. Convinced he was safe and happy, she began to enjoy herself, and began to glance around, caught up in the thrill of the moment

The instructors were indulgent. Neil was their local hero—the savior, the knight in shining armor. He was the "Man who waited," and their wives could not praise him enough.

The instructors guided Rhia and Neil's descent. They were told to break hand contact to open their parachutes. Both pairs landed within seconds of each other. Once free of the harness, an excited Rhia rushed to Neil and hugged him tight. This was one of the most thrilling experiences of her life.

The air rushed from Neil's lungs. He was overjoyed. For the first time in twenty years his wife hugged him. His arms slid around her as he also held her in a tight embrace. Rhia looked up at him, chattering nonstop, but Neil heard nothing as he basked in his wife's ecstatic face. Gazing into her sparkling eyes, all he could do was feel her vibrant body molded to his, her arms holding him close, as if he belonged to her. Her face was free from worry lines after such a long time, and her lips were so close he could feel her warm breath. Neil could not stop himself; neither did he want to. He bent and kissed Rhia gently on the lips.

Rhia froze in his arms, her eyes staring into his. He caught the bewildered look before she closed them and drew him closer. Then she opened her mouth and softly returned his kiss.

The distant voices of the other divers broke into Neil's consciousness. Rhia must have heard them too, because her hands dropped. He reluctantly let go of her. They strolled over to their instructors who were busy gathering the parachutes. A van waited to take everyone back to the club house.

Neither uttered a word after the kiss or during the return ride. When they reached their destination, Neil took over the formalities. Then he and Rhia climbed into their separate cars to drive home.

Rhia pulled into her driveway and got out of her car. Neil parked behind her and followed her up the walk to her front door. Rhia's hands trembled as she tried to insert the key into the lock. They shook so hard, the key fell from her hands. Neil picked the key and easily opened the door.

They stumbled in, banged the door shut, locked it. Then fell into each other's arms. Neil guided them up the stairs, planting kisses on Rhia's face and neck. She clung to him and let herself flow with him. He sat her down on the bed then knelt to remove her shoes. She ran her fingers through his hair, massaged his neck and on down to his shoulders, feeling the muscles, the flesh, the tension.

Neil kicked off his shoes, then stretched his body over hers, pinning Rhia to the bed. He slid his hands under her clothes, stroking her skin. He kissed her face, her brow, her cheeks, and finally, nibbled the spot that always set her off, the crook in the left side of her neck.

Neil knew Rhia's body by heart, each point engraved in his skin. Rhia wanted to be back with him; she wanted him, and she loved him. As if by magic, their clothes were discarded. Their bodies rubbed against each other rhythmically, remembering past times. They murmured words of need, love, lust, their own code words. When both were ready, Neil entered her slowly. As he did so, Rhia froze. In a flash, she thrust him aside. She darted to the bathroom.

Reeling from the shock, Neil wondered what went wrong. Then he heard her retch, then begin sobbing. The lock on the bathroom door clicked. The sobs and wails pierced his heart. It occurred to him, he had never heard Rhia cry loudly.

He'd thought he understood her pain, but it went much deeper. She was crushed even more than he could have imagined. He rolled over onto his back to stare at the ceiling, numbed by her reaction. A few minutes passed before he got out of bed to pull on his clothes.

Rhia's desperate cries followed him as he descended the stairs to walk out the door. He could not bear it. Dazed, he crossed the yard, to enter his house to the loneliness he deserved.

****

Rhia cried for the loss, cried for Neil's rejection of her, and now for her rejection of him. It had been so wonderful. Till he entered her. Then scenes of Neil making love with his mistress bombarded her mind, tormenting her. Vivid pictures—the same ones which had driven her to throw him out of the house twenty years ago, had flooded back to jolt her mind and body out of the sexual trance.

She hurt for herself and for Neil. Why did she allow things to go so far? Why did she get carried away? She loved him with all her heart; that was the only truth.

Rhia washed her face then rushed out of the bathroom to find Neil. The bedroom was empty. Scrambling into her clothes, she ran as fast as she could to his place. The door stood open. She walked through the house, calling. "Neil! Neil!" and found him sitting out on the patio, staring at the ocean. She detected the dried path of tears on his cheeks. Neil looked as if he were in a daze. "Neil...," she pleaded. He seemed not to hear her.

Rhia could not stand Neil's unresponsiveness. She gripped his shoulders, shook him, called his name. He slowly looked up at her, eyes filled with regret. Then he held out his arms. She sat on his lap, put her head on his shoulder and both wept silently, their bodies shaking from the force of subdued pain.

# Chapter Ten

### The Terrible Two's

Soaking up sun beside Neil, on a beach mat, Rhia raised up on one elbow. "Really!" She squealed. She couldn't believe her ears. "Roy asked you that?"She repeated.

"Yes really," Neil chuckled. He and Rhia rolled on the sand shaking with laughter. "Roy actually told me he wanted to get married."

"And he was only sixteen!" Rhia still couldn't take it in.

Neil winked. "You won't believe this; Roy had saved up his pocket money and, listen to this; he had actually planned out his wedding lunch, bought a silver wedding ring, and even.... This part is incredible, Rhia. He rented a formal suit for the grand occasion."

"Oh, my God! What happened then?"

"Well, at first, I did not know how to deal with the situation. It seems funny now, but I had to keep my calm. Roy was adamant."

Rhia sighed then settled back to listen to Neil elaborate on their son's escapade. She appreciated that her husband took time to fill in the gaps for the two decades she'd missed. The way he described it gave life to the videos they had filmed for her—told the untold stories which only parents could share.

Neil continued. "I agreed to Roy's scheme, asked him to plan out his life. I even offered to meet Sonia's parents."

"What was Sonia like?"

"A typical sixteen-year-old girl. Sweet, lovable and silly. Her parents faced the same dilemma as I. We were just thankful she had not become pregnant; that it was only a case of puppy love."

Rhia's sixteen-year-old baby had stubbornly fought to get married? The news shocked her. "What did you all do then? Had he slept with her?"

"No, I don't think so. I hope not. When they were younger, Zoya explained to Reet and Roy, about the birds and bees." Neil chuckled at the memory. "That was funny. It sounded more like they were informing _her_ of the realities of life!"

Rhia felt a bit sad, as she studied Neil. A knot formed in her throat. "Then what?"

"Sonia's parents and I called a proper family meeting. We decided on a scheme. We told the lovebirds to wait till they were seventeen. We asked them to plan out everything on their own. They had our support, financial and otherwise."

Rhia's eyebrows shot up. The story had gained momentum. "Wow! How did they react?"

"They were ecstatic. They searched for an apartment, looked for pieces of furniture, crockery, cutlery. They even scavenged in both homes to hunt for things we were not using. Can you believe they budgeted? It was as if they were two children playing house."

"What did Reet say?"

"Reet was amused by the entire situation. She found it absurd. She giggled and taunted Roy at every opportunity, did not spare him, one iota. I was the buffer, doused the fire and set boundaries, every time it got out of hand. You remember how they used to fight when they were eight and six? Well, it was exactly the same. The same dialogue, the same insults"

"Even now when they squabble, they act like six and eight-year-olds. Believe me Rhia, you were lucky to have been spared. At times I felt like lying down next to you, pretending to be asleep till the madness resolved itself," Neil moaned.

"Oh, my God! Poor baby. What you had to endure!" Rhia playfully patted Neil's arm.

"Darling, don't you know? Nowadays we say OMG?" Neil teased his wife, lightly tapping her on her head.

"Oh. No, I didn't. I have just learned the meaning of 'LOL'. Our Gks are three excellent coaches," Rhia laughed.

"They are angels compared to what their parents were!" Neil assured her. You remember how we used to dread the two Rs stepping into adolescence. We predicted they would metamorphose into teenage monsters."

"Did our prediction come true?" Rhia wanted to know.

Neil smirked. "You'd better believe it. They took turns at being monsters, zombies and aliens!"

"What? I can't believe it!"

"It's true. When I said no to their requests, they morphed into monsters. They became zombies when they were in love, clueless of anything around them. And aliens when a curfew was imposed, or when they were punished. They just couldn't understand why their Dad was an old-fashioned, out-of-date, fuddy-duddy."

"Poor, poor you!" Rhia giggled. The conversation was enlightening.

"I tell you, Rhia; sometimes it seemed easier to rule the world than to cope with those two! But you know, Love, I learned a lot dealing with them, patience, perseverance, compassion. Although, at times, I came near to throttling Roy."

"What? Oh, I understand. Roy never could stop arguing. He never knew when to keep quiet." Rhia shook her head. "How he has changed."

"Yes, when I see him, now, dealing with difficult customers, I can't believe this was the same short-tempered boy we had. Rhia, he is tactful, patient. It's more than his financial success; I am proud of the man he has become. A responsible and loving father and husband..." Neil's voice trailed into an audible sigh. He did not want Roy to make the same mistakes he had made.

Reading Neil's thoughts, Rhia diverted the conversation. "But with Reet, he hasn't changed, has he?"

"Those two have an unbreakable bond, Darling. They have been fighting with each other since Roy was six months old. Thank God, they were not twins. Can you imagine them fighting in your stomach?" Neil laughed at Rhia's horrified expression.

"Oh Lord no! Nine months with both of them inside me?" Rhia's face showed mock-terror. My stomach would have been in constant movement, with those two kicking each other!"

She and Neil rolled on the mat with merriment. Once they had calmed down, Rhia asked, "So how did Roy's romantic problem get resolved?"

"Nature and time, my Love, can erode the strongest teenage romance. Sonia fell in love with another boy. Roy was not as heartbroken as I would have thought."

"Did he fall for another girl?"

"No, it was a Yamaha bike, instead. One which I did not get for him. His love affairs with girls and things have been intense, passionate and short lived till he met Mila."

Rhia smiled, stretched out on the sand, watched, the clouds.

Neil added, "Then he fell in love with a sports car, then another girl. If I remember correctly, her name was Nadine!"

Rhia burst out laughing again.

Neil had kept his promise of being around her all the time. But, he hadn't pushed their relationship. After their first bout of passion, they restricted themselves to stay within the roles of parents and grandparents. The past pain was too much for them to handle. They continued the skydiving lessons together, even decided to play golf. The two shared various other activities, reveling in one another's company. Their platonic relationship was satisfying.

Rhia came to know the new Neil, and liked him. She visited his office, met his employees. She was pleasantly surprised to discover he was a fair boss, who treated his workers with respect and consideration. She remembered how he had become arrogant over time. As success went to his head, his attitude towards people—towards her especially—had changed. She was happy to see he was respected and respectful, compassionate, yet firm.

Neil and Rhia spent hours talking. Rhia asked questions about the children and grandchildren. Neil was a great storyteller. He told her everything she wanted to know, in his own funny way. His wry sense of humour had always made her laugh. Rhia saw and felt her children's' lives through Neil's eyes and heart.

Neil never complained or made Rhia feel he had experienced tough times. Every story was a wonderful adventure. Rhia matured emotionally as she listened, imbibing Neil's wisdom as well. She learned not to be as worried as she had been about the children's lives now they had become adults. Instead, she let things unravel by themselves.

Through Neil, she learned to be a parent who oversaw, not one who interfered. Happy with Neil's handiwork, she adopted the same attitude. Their roles had reversed. Neil was now the family leader. She followed him willingly.

Neil continued filling Rhia in on the teenage years of their children. "When Roy turned eighteen, he took up smoking. The crowd he hung around with walked on the wild side. He would not listen to reason."

"Smoking? No...." Rhia's jaw dropped. "What did you do?"

"Words were useless; talking to him was futile. Roy would not listen to me. He pretended to pay heed to Zoya and Raoul, but only pretended."

Silence ensued. Rhia let Neil take his time.

"Sometimes, when I visited you in the hospital, I spent time with terminally ill patients."

"Why did you do that?" Rhia stared at him, her vision blurred with tears as she listened.

His voice was soft. "I don't know. I guess because I couldn't comfort you, caring for others made me feel better."

"I became sort of a godfather of a patient. His name was Tom. He suffered from lung cancer. Tom was not a chain smoker, yet he had cancer." Neil took a deep breath, then continued. "Tom was fantastic—full of life, witty, intelligent, a real charmer. He fought for his life till the end. He told me his deepest regret; leaving his children and wife without protection and care. He was thirty-nine-years-old. Tom's children were mere toddlers. Despite his intense suffering I never heard him complain. He was stoic. Tom faced his end with dignity."

Neil's voice quavered at the end of the sentence. He fixed his gaze on the waves lapping the sand, while Rhia waited for him to regain his composure.

"Sometimes I took Roy and Reet to visit Tom. Roy and he became very good friends. One day, Tom asked if Roy could visit him alone, to play cards or dominoes. I found no reason to refuse. I had no idea what he intended to do. Rhia, within a month, Roy quit smoking. He broke off with the gang, and became a new person. Till today, I know little of what transpired between him and Tom. But this I know for sure; Tom, in his own style, put our son on the right track. I am very grateful for what he did. I had gotten to the point, I thought I had lost Roy." Neil stopped, wiped a tear from his cheek. "Getting our son back was the greatest gift a parent could ask."

Rhia drank in her husband's words. She felt his despair. Her heart swelled with gratitude for Tom. She closed her eyes and silently blessed him and his family with all her heart. She opened them and asked, "What happened to Tom's family?"

"His wife had a steady job. Jillian is a proud woman. She would not accept any help I offered. I was able to persuade her to allow me to contribute to the children's education. Her two boys are in college and doing well. Roy keeps an eye on them and takes care of them as much as Jillian will allow."

"Can I meet them?" Rhia asked.

"Certainly, Rhia. Jillian lives in town. Her boys will soon be home on vacation. We can fix up a family picnic," Neil announced.

Rhia was curious about their daughter. "Did you have any problems with Reet?"

Neil smiled, return to a good mood. "Oh, Reet? That is another long, long story Rhia. Are you ready?"

Rhia chuckled. "Yes, I know; she made you dance and jump. She always had you wrapped around her little finger."

Neil dipped his head. "You see the grey hair. Well, half of them sprang up because of your daughter. So be prepared; the horror story begins.

***

"Reet's early teens were exemplary. She was the perfect daughter, helped me around the house. But, when she turned fifteen, I never knew who would come downstairs for breakfast. She changed her dress style so frequently, it was anyone's guess. One morning it would be the unkempt grunge look. I hated it. The next day she would be sleek and sophisticated. Another day she would wear baby doll dresses. The amount of makeup she wore was astounding. I had to move in close to her, then gaze into her eyes, to be sure it was our daughter. Roy and I used to take bets as to who would appear in the morning. By the way, he firmly refused to be seen with her in public.

"You didn't say anything to her about her dress and makeup?"

"She was always decently covered; she did not smoke or misbehave, so I had no grounds to ask her to dress as ordinary mortals. Zoya told me to pick my battles wisely, let the phase pass. Another thing I forgot to mention is, Reet wore such huge earrings, I thought her earlobes would tear! But I drew a line at tattoos and body piercing." One of Neil's eyebrows arched. "You won't believe this. Both children rose up against me in this matter."

"Roy sided with Reet?" Rhia smiled. This was interesting.

"Yes, he who had spent all his time mocking his sister's dress sense, suddenly turned crusader, defending her with shield and sword. It was unbelievable."

"They listened to you?"

"They did, but not without arguments. They sulked, pleaded, fought me, but I refused to sign the consent form. Thank God, they finally gave up. I couldn't have held out long against their combined onslaught."

"So, how did it end?"

Neil shrugged. "I'm not sure. The craze just went away one blessed day."

"Do you have any pictures of Reet at that age?"

"No. Your clever daughter took the pictures away. She was afraid Sam would find them."

Rhia smiled. "I can only imagine what my granddaughter would say." Eyeing Neil, she asked, "Did Reet have a boyfriend?"

"Not when she was in the schizophrenic stage. She began to have admirers, I think, when she turned sixteen. She started dating a classmate. You know Rhia, I felt a little jealous she liked someone else. Until then, I was the only man she listened to or admired. Then it was, 'Laurie said this, Laurie said that, Laurie is wonderful. He's a great athlete.'"

"Was he? How did he look?"

"He was okay, I guess. A harmless twit, in my opinion. I could have snapped him into with one hand." Neil puffed out his chest. "I just made sure he knew Reet was not alone."

"You scared her boyfriends? Neil, I can't believe it!"

He looked the perfect picture of innocence when he argued, "I did not scare them away. I just made sure they knew better than to hurt my daughter."

"Was she hurt? Did anyone break her heart?"

"Yes. When it happened, I felt so helpless. All I could do was hold her while she cried, and make plans to murder the bastard."

"Why? What did he do to her?"

"He just broke off with her, without any explanation. They met in college. He was a year ahead of her. After a time, he began to distance himself then just disappeared from our lives."

"Do you have any idea why he did that? And why don't you tell me his name?"

"We have vowed never to mention his name. Reet clung to him too much. Only eighteen, she was too intense for her age. She wanted a permanent relationship, but he was only nineteen. At such an age, a guy is immature."

"Did she hurt a lot?"

"Yes. She did not get into relationships or date, again, till she met Adi. Even with him, I sense she keeps a little part of herself from him. As if she is scared he will hurt her, too."

"Do you think he would?"

"Rhia, we both know it is easy to stray. I keep a keen eye on Adi. I look out for Reet. So far, from what I've observed, Adi loves our daughter very much. He is sensible enough not to do anything to hurt their relationship."

Somewhere deep inside, Rhia feared her daughter might go through the same pain as she. She constantly observed Adi's behavior towards Reet, checking for signs of boredom and disinterest. Her paranoia was something she could not discuss with, or reveal to, Neil.

Even in their conversations, she avoided the issue of infidelity; it was a raw, sensitive subject. She was glad Neil had not brought up the topic.

Rhia had ruminated over Reet's equation with Adi for some time. Then one day, while visiting Zoya, she mustered the courage to enquire about her concerns. Typical of Zoya's nature, she fell silent. Her sister's painful experience colored her vision.

After a minute, Zoya cleared her throat and spoke. "Rhia you cannot live Reet's life nor protect her from her problems. It is her life; let her live it her way. She is in love with Adi as he is with her. Adi might betray her, or she might betray him. Come on, don't be an ostrich. Just be there if, or when she needs you. Don't anticipate problems. Worrying will steal your happiness."

Rhia had to satisfy herself with this piece of advice. Now that Neil was watching over them and he had assured her of Adi's good sense, she felt more at peace.

"Tell me more Neil; tell me how they fell in love, how you organized their weddings. How was Reet while she was pregnant?"

Neil threw up his hands. "She was a torture—short tempered, easily angered. She cried at the slightest provocation. Adi was a saint. Roy ran away from her. I was the one who bore all her tantrums. In short, Rhia, she was you."

"I never..."

"Oh yes, you did. You used to carry a pack of tissues all the time. I couldn't take you to the movies because sad scenes made you sob. Sob out loud. Don't you remember?"

Rhia's eyes narrowed. "I was not so bad!"

"Yes, you were, Darling; yes, you were. You were so beautiful, all round and glowing, with tears clinging to the tips of your eyelashes, ready to fall off at the slightest provocation."

"Neil, no-o...I was not a cry baby. I was just sensitive."

He shook his head. "Reet was just like you. At least Adi had a lot of patience. He looked after her and tried to satisfy her whims, even when I wanted to admonish her."

"Did she have difficult pregnancies?"

"No, sometimes I felt you took her pain away. Not only hers, but Roy's, the Gks and mine as well. We never had any major illnesses. I always felt you were around protecting us."

Rhia gulped. "Thank you for saying so. I so wish I had been with you all, to help out."

"You were there, Rhia...always. You were with us in both our good and rough times."

Rhia loved these moments with Neil. She could spend hours talking to him and yes, she had noticed his toned body and good looks. She had been able to overcome the lined eyes, wrinkles, salt and pepper hair. Looking deeply into his eyes, she recognised the man she had fallen in love. His quirky smile, the way he had of raking his hair back—even his full-throated laugh and deep voice had remained unchanged. Yet, she felt this was a new person, a different man, an improved version of the Neil she knew before.

They spent the entire evening chatting about their children and grandchildren. Neil regaled Rhia with funny anecdotes about them; Sameera's first steps, Jas's first words and Kevin's disgust at his first kiss.

Rhia enjoyed catching up on her children's' lives while Neil prayed hard, this "honeymoon" stage would last. Her friendship meant the world to him. They were a couple without the romance and flowers. Each day their relationship deepened and matured. Sex was not an issue. Just being next to Rhia, speaking to her, watching her eyes change color according to her emotions—even sharing sandwiches and coffee, fulfilled Neil.

# Chapter Eleven

### Changes, Changes, Changes

Rhia took inventory of her life and reached the conclusion she had not achieved anything in terms of productivity. Her self esteem was at a low point. She had nothing for which to show except her children and grandchildren.

Contact with friends and ex-colleagues through the wonders of technology, showed her they had climbed the corporate ladder, become successes— _somebodies—_ whereas, she had slept away half her productive years.

She had so many issues to battle; her relationship with Neil, her struggle to forget the hurtful past; even if she had forgiven—or _thought_ she had forgiven him. Along with those issues came boredom. Boredom because she had nothing to do. Rhia felt like a failure on all fronts, like she was racing downhill at lightning speed.

Neil, always by her side, accepted the limits she set in their relationship. Limits she silently imposed. Once again, the whining inside Rhia's head warned she was becoming a person she did not like—someone dissatisfied with life. A complaint box. It was a familiar feeling that left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Rhia admitted she needed help. Zoya was back in town from her holiday. Maybe, if she met with her sister and Reet, they could work out something. For some, her life would be considered paradise. She was cajoled, cuddled, hugged and loved; a woman who lived in a nice house on the beach with an attentive husband next door, and a loving family, who dropped in whenever they wished.She had a family who fed her like she'd been starving for years.

Nonetheless, Rhia wanted to be useful, to be more than just the parent—actually the baby. For she was their baby now. Hell, she had not even baked biscuits or cakes for her Gks. They preferred their Grandma to play with them rather than feed them.

Roy kept her fridge full. Neil and Reet made sure she ate her meals on time. Her daughter Reet was Rhia's pillar.Rhia often sensed Reet's urge to push her to live with Neil.

****

When Reet was with her mother, she kept the conversation steered away from her parents' non-evolving relationship. As much as she wanted them back together, she honored her father's orders that no one say anything to influence Ma in that direction. Her father had drawn a circle around her mother, a protective circle which shut out all unpleasantness. Reet appreciated her father's efforts. She hoped one day to evoke the same kind of protectiveness and love in Adi.

She was happy with him. He was an attentive husband, like her Dad; but there was still room for improvement. Life seemed so much nicer since Ma was here with them again. Her relationship with Adi had become more refined. It was as if both now understood the real meaning of marriage, the real meaning of their wedding vows. The nuances were sharper, the love making more profound and more intimate. If she'd learned one thing it was, marriage had so many layers, some yet to be discovered.

****

Rhia called for a meeting with Zoya and Reet. The women chose to have their meal in a classy restaurant. Since Rhia was treating, she wanted the best for the two lovely women in her life. Reet picked her up, along with Zoya, to go to the restaurant. The ladies chatted and giggled like teenagers all the way while Zoya and Reet shared stories they dubbed, "family scandals."

The meal was excellent. During dessert, Reet opened the floor for discussion. "Ma, you wanted to say something to us. What is it?"

Rhia caught Zoya studying her closely. She probably hoped there was no calamity in the offing. She tapped her hand on the table. "I need a job; I need to do something." She hesitated before adding, "I want to be useful."

Would Reet understand they were caging her into a definite role—that of a mom? _Being Mom,_ was okay, but she wanted more. Rhia had been very ambitious before the accident. She'd planned to prioritize her career in her forties when the children wouldn't need her as much. At fifty-seven, she knew very well she had missed the bus. Due to age, her scope for a career would not be nearly as broad.

Rhia noticed Zoya's sigh. She had put her sister through a lot since she'd awakened. Zoya probably expected her to explode like a time bomb, any minute. God knew she'd done it enough. It felt good to see Zoya relax after she explained her reason for calling this meeting. As for Reet, her narrowed eyes indicated she was mulling over the options.

Rhia broke off her thoughts to interject, "I don't want a salary; I just want to be busy and useful." This should make the choices easier.

"Ma, give me time to think of something."

Zoya suggested. "Have you ever thought of volunteering for charity work? You are qualified in financial management. There are quite a few organizations which need people with your skills."

Reet thought aloud. "Yes, that is true, Ma. Would you like that? You won't need to go to office every day. Most of the work can be done from home or at your leisure. You won't be stressed. You can work at your pace; but I think you need a refresher course, first."

Rhia felt better. Rays of light were streaming through.

****

Zoya studied Rhia. She knew Neil and Rhia had not yet resolved their problem but she trusted Neil's instincts. At first Neil had been for aggressive attacks, to win her back. Lately, Neil's strategy had changed. He had backed away and taken the role of friend. Now Rhia wanted to do something. It was a problem which could be worked out. There was restlessness in Rhia; the adventurous spirit was still there. She remembered Rhia's wild ideas, her desire for solitude at times. The arrival of the children had domesticated her, and presently, the grandchildren had firmly grounded her to the soil. Still, that spirit stirred inside Rhia. The real Rhia was reawakening to a new life. It was a good sign.

Zoya wanted to see her sister happy, preferably with Neil. Rhia had been the special one in the family, quiet and yet, she had ideas. She tried to live her dreams. If she wanted to work now, so be it.

"Rhia, give me some time to look for a convenient and reliable job. There are many positions open. We will find the best ones and you can choose from there. Is it okay with you?"

Rhia was pleased, "Yes, it is fine by me."

****

Reet was still, quiet, mentally perusing her schedule to find time to discuss this with her mother, privately. She wanted to spend time with her mother alone. The best way would be to plan an activity together. She did not have her Ma's wild spirit; she was more like her Aunt. What could she and her mother do together? Cooking lessons were out of the question. Her brother would kill her. Roy insisted he was the sole source of gourmet food in the family. The status quo should remain as such.

"Ma?"

"Yes, Reet?"

"I would like to do something else, too. With you. What do you think we should do?"

Reet could tell her mother' raised eyebrows, she was taken aback by her suggestion. The family made decisions for her or tried to; no one had asked her opinion until now.

Her mother looked puzzled. "Why? Why do you want to do something else? Like what? With me?"

Zoya remained a silent spectator sipping her drink and scanning the wall décor.

"I want to spend time with you, alone. I want to learn something creative, like painting or crafts. What do you think?"

Reet was not talented at painting or good with craft work; but painting sounded more attractive of the two options. Which one would her Ma choose?

Rhia reflected. "Painting! Painting sounds nice. Drawing and painting."

Reet squealed with delight. Her mother was not against the idea. She reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "This is wonderful! You'll come with me. We can learn it together," Learning a new skill could be interesting, especially taking classes with Mom.

"That's a grand idea, Love," Rhia smiled at her.

"Great! I'll set it all up, then let you know," Reet almost bounced on her seat. At heart, she remained a child longing to be with her Mom. Roy was more mobile. He dropped in at their Mom's place all the time for coffee, a chat, or simply for a hug. Reet's work schedule bound her to the desk and office. She wanted her parents to live under the same roof; however, at her father's request, had stopped pushing them. She trusted her Dad implicitly. She didn't want to rock the boat. As she regularly told her kids, "Let the grownups solve their own problems,"

Reet smiled as she slid her chair back from the table. The lunch had been a success. Everyone was delighted at the outcome. Her mother looked hopeful. Painting would give her something to fill her time. Aunt Zoya practically beamed to see Mom positive and motivated. As for herself, Reet would get to spend some special time with her mother.

****

Reet called two weeks later. "Ma, I found a teacher. He is too cute. He is an Italian."

"Reet, you are a married woman! Behave."

"Mom, he is sixty-five. He is more up your street than mine!" she dared tell her Mom.

Reet was relieved when her mother burst out laughing. She knew her mother was sensitive about her age. Rhia's laughter indicated she was no longer sore regarding that issue.

A happy Reet discussed her plan with Adi. He told her he understood her yearning to be with her mother and wholeheartedly approved of her decision. He even offered to take charge of the children on those days. She thanked him for his immense patience. He had been an angel, supportive when she was engrossed with her mother. Reet smiled. She loved Adi.

****

Adi noticed the winds were changing. The dim light which once hovered over the family had been inundated by a brighter one. His wife was happier; as a couple he and Reet had never been closer. She had become warmer and more loving. Their nights were more intimate, forging a stronger bond between them. The former anxiety Reet once carried, had slipped away He loved his wife and her family which he considered as his own. His father in law was always supportive and helpful. Adi knew that both his father in law and Roy would do anything for Reet, him and their children. Now that his mother in law was awake, he felt the force of their bonds stronger. The family was happier and the children were thriving in this atmosphere.

****

Reet bought the art materials required then picked up her Ma to attend the first class. The family did not like the idea of Rhia driving, so they volunteered to take her where she wanted to go, when possible

You okay, Ma?"

"Fine, sweetheart. Your Dad told me about a charity organization where I can be of use."

"Dad knows many people. He likes to help out when he can."

Rhia smiled. Reet still held Neil as her idol. She was glad Reet knew nothing about her father's infidelity. Her heart would break. "So, how did you find this gorgeous teacher?"

"You mean, Danny? My friend at work, Sally, you don't know her. Well, her cousin takes classes with Danny. She says he is really good. He has a lot of patience."

"What about your friend, Jenny? What happened to her?"

"Ma... you remember? Of course you do. Sorry I forget you remember everything. Well, you won't believe this. She got married to a super rich guy. We were all so jealous. She used to jet set. Her name was always on page three."

"Really? Who would have thought? She was such a studious girl."

"Well she changed, Ma. She stopped talking to us. We knew of her life from the papers. And then, listen to this! Her husband was caught red-handed in bed with another guy." Reet chortled, "Well red-handed does not really explain the position they were caught in. Ma, the pictures in the magazines were hilarious."

Rhia and Reet burst out laughing. The tone was set for their outing. Reet spoke non-stop about her friends and enemies. She had a lot to tell her mother. How her teachers had treated her, her victories, her challenges, her crushes.

After two months of mother-daughter bonding, Reet finally spoke about the guy who had broken her heart. They were having a light snack in Rhia's kitchen after a painting lesson. The floodgates opened.

"Ma, I still don't understand why he did it. No goodbyes, no explanations. It crushed me just like when you had the accident. The same feeling of helplessness. He just disappeared. I tried to find him, but none of his friends would help. Finally...after I'd waited for months, Dad told me to give him up."

Reet sobbed in her Ma's arms. Rhia, understanding the depth of her daughter's grief, cried silently with her.

"Did you contact his family?"

"No, I did not have the courage. I felt hurt and humiliated enough."

"Do you want to find him, now?"

"Ma? Adi is my husband."

"I know, dear, but it will help you to heal if you know why he went away. Think about it. Your Dad and I are here for you. If you wish, we will find out. You still hurt, Reet. I can see it. I can feel it. And when you hurt, we hurt, too."

"I don't love him anymore Ma, I love Adi."

"Yes, baby. He is the one for you. He loves you very much. It is plain and clear. When you are ready, let me know. No one hurts my daughter and gets away with it!"

Reet smiled through her tears, "Ma what will you do if you find him?"

Rhia's eyes narrowed. "I can break his knee caps. Your Dad will hold him down while I stomp on him. Or I can stalk him and make his life so miserable, he will beg for relief."

Reet laughed, teary-eyed. She could envision her parents dealing with Seth. She could finally say the name. "Ma his name is Seth, and right now, I don't care about him. I feel much better since I have told you."

"I am so sorry I was not there for you, when you needed me." Her mother hugged her and the tears flowed. She felt guilty for sleeping so long

"Ma, it was not your fault. Please don't feel bad. Dad took good care of us, just as you took care of us when Dad was not at home. So, please don't cry; I can't stand it. It is over." Reet consoled her mother with a return hug.

Reet sniffed. As if on cue, her Dad appeared in the doorway. He must have seen Ma's patio door open and the lights on when she was supposed to be out. They must look a sight, all weepy. He walked in, stretched out his arms. They rushed into them, holding him tight, taking comfort in his affection and warmth. She was glad her father did not ask them anything. He just let them cry on his chest, absorbing their pain.

Father, mother and daughter had a deep conversation that evening. Reet poured out her pent-up feelings for Seth, till she felt nothing for him. Her, parents by her side, healed her pain. On her way home, her Dad's wise words rang in her ears.

"Reet, love, I think you equated Seth's disappearance with your Ma's coma. Just think about it."

_Did I do that? Transfer the pain and helplessness I felt about Mom's comatose state, onto Seth? Maybe I did._ Reet needed time to think.

****

Looking for a non-paying job in a charity organisation was not difficult. The entire family sent out feelers. Rhia received many proposals. She carefully chose her job, careful not to bite off more than she could chew.

Her life settled into to a routine. Since Rhia had refused maid service, in the early morning she cleaned the house before she worked out then relaxed on the beach.Rhia worked from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on accounts for an organization which helped battered children and women get on their feet.

Though Neil preferred to shield her from all atrocities, it was impossible. He did not want his wife exposed to the ugliness of life. The news channel and newspapers were full of horror stories. Initially, Rhia was shocked and distressed to hear and witness the plights of the victims. She wanted to aid them in person; however, only trained staffs were allowed contact with the poor souls. Managing the finances for the organization made Rhia feel she was helping out in some way.

In the afternoon Rhia took long swims, read, wrote, then drove out to take pictures of the city. She began to discover her city through pictures she took and self-developed. Her passion for photography had intensified since she'd awakened. The three Gks—Sameera, Jas and Kevin—became her favorite models. They loved to dress up and pose for their Grandma. She also taught them how to take pictures and develop them.

She was an unusual grandma. Instead of passing down secret recipes or tips, she taught them interesting things, like taking pictures under water, the names of different shells, and the animals which once inhabited them. She invented stories for their eager ears. She also earned the title _Best Hugger and Kisser_ in the family.

Rhia had a lot of patience with the grandkids. She babysat them at every opportunity. They went for midnight swims. During the weekends, they visited places Rhia discovered. Places they never before knew existed. They traveled by train to nearby towns to roam around and take pictures. They found interesting artifacts and discovered new eateries. Rhia was an explorer at heart, not only of things and places, but also of the people she loved.

She became the greatest cheerleader for her grandsons, lending an attentive ear and clapping for Kevin's stories. Roy's son inherited his grandfather's storytelling talents and his Dad's lovable smile; though he wasn't argumentative like his Dad. At least not with her.

That suited Grandma just fine. She had the best of her grandchildren. With her, they were friendly, adorable, and playful. Rhia had the cream of the crop—the best behaviour—the most obedient grandchildren, and perfect times with them. When they returned home, they used their parents as scratching posts.

Relentless on his quest to find things to repair, Jas was happiest with a screwdriver, or any tool, in his hand. Once he repaired the broken objects, Rhia applauded and feted him like the true gladiator he was.

The two boys found an ardent admirer in Grandma. Hence, they paraded their skills before her like proud peacocks. They thought their grandparents' side-by-side homes, cool. Marking their territories in both places, they ran from one home to the other with no break between. The grandchildren basked in the sun and in their grandparents' unconditional love.

All three—Sameera, Jas, and Kevin—were completely different. Their interests and approach to life varied. The relationship Rhia had with each was unique. Wedged between childhood and adolescence, eleven-year-old Sameera, like Rhia, was reflective and direct. An intimate conversation with her triggered a soul searching for Granny.

One Friday night, Sameera, alone, stayed over at Rhia's home. Jas had a soccer match to play early the next morning, he could not come. Granny and granddaughter spent a quiet afternoon. Then after dinner, before sunset, they strolled along the edge of the sea. Sameera opened the conversation.

"Gran?"

"Ummm."

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can." _What was Sameera up to?_

"You won't be angry at me for asking?"

Rhia couldn't say no. "Ask me, dear."

"You will tell me the truth?"

"Yes"

"Promise?"

"I promise not to lie."

"Why are you and Grandpa not living together?"

Oh, dear! How could she explain her and Neil's situation without telling Sameera what she didn't need to know? Rhia swallowed hard while deciding the best way to answer.

"Sam, my darling, how do I answer this? It is a decision I took mainly because I wanted to find my own feet, to feel less lost. It is difficult for you to understand, but when I awoke, everyone had become strangers. Twenty years is a long time. Your Grandpa is still a stranger to me in many ways."

"Will you be divorcing?"

Rhia's jaw dropped. What...or who...had given her the idea? It gave her food for thought. "I haven't thought about that!" Did she want Neil out of her life, now? She had asked him for a divorce, once. The answer was a resounding "No!" Neil was an _integral_ part of her life.

"Do you love Grandpa?"

Rhia paused and thought "Yes, I love your Grandpa." She had not lied. She did love Neil. But, the love, if it could be measured, had fallen a few notches from the complete love and devotion she had once felt for him. However, she had great respect for Neil. So much, it overwhelmed her heart.

"Mum and Dad always sleep together; so do Grandma and Grandpa Sid. Don't you miss sleeping with Grandpa Neil?"

_If she only knew how much._ Oh God, how Rhia missed sleeping with Grandpa Neil. If only she could. Her body longed for him. Rhia studied the sun, sinking below the ocean, grateful that the cover of darkness concealed a blushing grandma from her granddaughter.

She chose her words carefully. "Right now, Sameera, I am content with my life. I don't want to change a thing. Grandpa is next door. We meet every day. Look, there he is now, walking towards us."

Rhia let out a long breath. She could kiss Neil for saving her from her granddaughter's prying questions.

"Grandma, don't tell Mum I questioned you. We are not supposed to upset you."

"This stays between us, my love. Trust me," Rhia reassured her.

The questions disturbed her. Would she spend the rest of her life alone? Afraid to face the future, Rhia lived day to day, blocking the rest from her mind.

****

Reet's idea to spend a specific time alone with her Ma became the highlight of their week. They spent two days per week together, after Reet left work. Both realized they were not cut out to be artists, but they persevered anyway, struggling on. They talked, cracked jokes, and caught up on the lost years, while Danny belted out instructions. This resulted in even worse artistic performances. Through it all, Rhia gained fulfillment. Her children and grandchildren surrounded her in a circle of love, while Neil hovered over her, omnipresent.

****

Zoya was happy with the progress Rhia had made in her relationships. Her sister had gradually accepted her age and limitations as she began to feel productive in her work with the N.G.O. The aftertaste of bitterness started to erode. Zoya's heart pained for Neil, until she realized he was content with the situation. Zoya could breathe easier; the universe seemed to get back in order.

Raoul observed the situation from a distance. Men communicated in their own language, especially if they'd known each other a while. His conversations with Neil gave him an inkling of what had happened between him and his Rhia. He noticed the family had settled down. Neil and Rhia apart was no longer a big issue.

The signal Neil sent to the family was, "Let things be." And everyone obeyed.

However, Raoul was wise enough to see Neil was deluding himself if he thought he had complete control over Rhia or the people in her life. His sister-in-law was one independent, headstrong lady. Moreover, she had an innocent streak and naivety which made her adorable; but could prove to be her weakness, as well.

# Chapter Twelve

### A Stranger Intrudes.

Gradually, Rhia's horizons expanded beyond the family circle. The town housed a lovely park with special paths for joggers; Rhia added a light afternoon jog to her activities. In the morning and evening she stretched out on a beach mat by the sea, usually with Neil by her side. Three times a week she roamed through the park, inhaling fresh air and taking pictures.

These moments gave Rhia the freedom to test her wings and find her place in society. Here, she was not "The woman who woke up," or Neil's "wife", or Reet and Roy's "Ma," or even the Gks "Grandma". She was herself, accountable to no one. She did not have to make the effort to fit in, as she did with her family. Here, Rhia was anonymous. She enjoyed the feeling.

Rhia kept to herself, neither did she attempt to make friends nor get familiar with anyone. However, unknown to her, a handsome stranger who could pass for George Clooney's older twin, watched from a distance, admiring her.

****

The stranger deliberated on the various ways he could approach this attractive woman. He made sure she noticed him. He crossed her path as often as he could, flashed dazzling smiles; he made sure he wore eye-catching clothes so he would not blend into the natural décor. In short, he tried to show off his good looks, to catch her attention.

The woman did not respond. The stranger was puzzled by her indifference. She threw polite smiles then ignored him. She was always alone, punctual, and beautiful. He guessed her to be in her late forties or early fifties. Her lack of interest only piqued his. He was confident in his good looks; he had been admired since he was born. Women of all ages still drooled over him. The man was not accustomed to being ignored. A scalp collector at heart, it annoyed him when this lovely, elusive woman looked through him instead of gazing at him. Something about her pulled him in. Her restless eyes seemed to search for something or someone. He intended to be that person. He went to the park, each day, and waiting for her to appear.

Then he would show up. Still, she was not fazed by his charms. One day, when he was at wit's end at how to grab her attention, fate intervened. He tripped over a tree root and literally fell at the woman's feet. He looked up and became mesmerized by a pair of beautiful eyes flooded with compassion. He thought he heard angels sing.

"You alright? Is everything okay?"

"My ankle, my ankle!" he faked. Whatever it took to keep this woman near him.

When her two soft hands softly massaged his ankle, he closed his eyes in pure ecstasy. Then she pulled out her phone to call another man. He was not happy. "Hey, my ankle is okay, I can manage. Please don't disturb anyone."

While he reclined against the tree to recuperate from the pain, he milked as much information from the woman as possible. He introduced himself as Trevor. Sixty, single, and available. She introduced herself as Rhia. Rhia was not talkative but the absence of a wedding ring warmed his heart.

In the twenty minutes it took the other man to reach the spot, he poured on the charm and fell in love with her. Did she see him only as an elderly man in pain, who was trying to make her feel comfortable? He wondered.

****

Neil heard the man's syrupy voice over the phone. Alarm bells rang. He dashed over to the park to see a sight which displeased him; Rhia kneeling next to a man. Rhia made the introductions. The men greeted each other with pasted-on smiles, hard eyes, and bone-crushing handshakes. Neil did not mistake Trevor's intentions. He could see through this jerk.

What bothered him most was Rhia seemed to be clueless. She had no idea what this Trevor guy was up to. They helped him get up, brushed him off, and offered to take him to the hospital. Trevor draped his left hand around Rhia's shoulder, caressed it. While he conversed in an animated tone, Neil remained stoic, silently fuming. He longed to snatch Rhia from Trevor's clutches and let him hit the ground.

What was wrong with Rhia? She had always been impervious to other men, but not now. She continued to laugh at this joker's bad jokes. The joker told them his life story. He was widowed, with children who lived far away—alone with no one to look after him. Neil saw compassion fill Rhia's eyes.

To his consternation, she volunteered to send him both lunch and dinner from Roy's restaurant. And even offered to help out in any way she could. Neil had to speak up. Rhia had lived a protected life. With him beside her, she had always been safe. Offering help to a stranger was normally harmless; but not this one.

"Yes, please do not hesitate to call me or my wife, if you need anything." Neil was sure Trevor got his unspoken message, "She is mine; stay away from her!"

"Oh you are husband and wife? I thought...you were siblings. But, Rhia you said you lived on your own? So... ehh?" He waited for an explanation.

Neil's heart pounded. So...Trevor had managed to get this piece of information from Rhia. He would love to throttle this sorry excuse for a man, and would, if Trevor wasn't already injured.

****

Trevor was not a man to tread on another man's property. He was old-fashioned in that respect He preferred his women, free and unattached. It led to fewer complications and usually at the word "husband," he slinked away from potential danger. But Rhia drew him like an irresistible magnet. He would not let her go without a fight.

Rhia paused, contemplated how to answer, while Neil kept silent. Finally, she spoke with conviction. "It is a long story, Trevor. We do not like to talk about it."

Trevor knew when to back down. He smiled, gave an understanding nod, and sighed. Inwardly, he rejoiced. The coast was not totally clear but, he had his ways. He could weave himself into a woman's heart, as only he knew how.

Oblivious to the two males' aggressive vibes, fighting a silent battle over her, Rhia became lost in her own thoughts.

Trevor asked a provocative question. What _was_ her relationship with Neil? This question posed itself to her every morning when she awoke and the last thing each night before she fell asleep. Still, she had no answer. Rhia was comfortable with the status quo of their relationship; she had reached a plateau with Neil—a certain stability. She did not want anything to topple the fragile balance he had brought into her life.

****

Three weeks later

A glowering Neil watched the scene closely. Trevor had built a casual, calculated, friendship with Rhia. He managed to lace a tapestry of lighthearted frivolity around her. They met at the park and jogged together. Trevor could not jog more than a few hundred meters. The same went for his relationship with Rhia. He could not go further than being a jogging mate. In her eyes, Trevor was a friend, someone pleasant to be around. She wanted no complications in her life.

To Neil, he was a rival with a silver tongue. Trevor's smooth talk was aimed toward seducing his wife. But his hands were tied. Neil could not object to Rhia's friendship with this smooth-talking Casanova. Neil could see Trevor's genuine interest in Rhia and he was disturbed. He could not fight someone who loved her, someone she evidently liked. The children were not happy about their mother's new-found friendship, either. He'd had to calm them down a couple of times, and simultaneously control his own urge to dismember Trevor, limb by limb. But the dam had to break.

****

"Dad!" Reet shrieked "Do something!"

Roy paced back and forth; mad as hell, trying to squelch his temper. He kicked every piece of furniture his foot came near, to vent his anger. When angry, the brother and sister duo kicked things, a childhood habit which resurfaced in extreme situations.

Zoya sat sedately by observing Neil. As a woman, and Rhia's sister, it gave her pleasure to see him suffer a little of the same pain Rhia had suffered. She knew Neil well. She recognized jealousy, anger and pain, simmering just below the surface, but offered him no sympathy.

Trevor had invited Rhia to his home for a meal and she accepted. She informed her family about her lunch plans. Frustrated, Reet and Roy assembled in their father's soundproof office while their mother was out with the stranger. They also called Aunt Zoya for help.

The young tiger and tigress in the room were too absorbed with their own indignation to notice how their Dad was affected by the developing relationship between Rhia and _Trevor the Terrible._

Neil blew up. "What do you want me to do? Do you think forbidding your mother to see that guy would work? Do you want me to tie her to the house? Oh, how I wish I could!"

Their Dad's show of temper stunned Reet and Roy. They looked at each other, eyes wide. Reet sat down and Roy froze in his tracks. Dad was really mad. They could not remember when he last raised his voice in anger.

Neil took a deep breath and continued. "They are just friends, for the present. Your Mom is blind to this man's devices. She cannot see he wants her, and would never believe it if we told her." He dropped his voice one notch lower. "Zoya, why don't you try to show her the true picture? Rhia will listen to you."

"Why do you want me to do that, Neil?" Zoya asked, savoring the moment.

"How can you ask me to explain? Don't you see? He is courting her!" Neil's effort to subdue the tone and pitch of his voice, did not work. He had not intended to shout at Zoya.

"And you think Rhia will succumb? Think well; do you really believe there is a chance she will fall for him?" Zoya questioned.

"I don't want to lose Mamaaaa..." Reet wailed, sounding more like a three-year-old than an adult. "She cannot leave Dad. I don't care what it takes, but they have to be together."

"What are _you_ afraid of Roy?" Zoya continued her voice devoid of mercy.

Roy took time to think before he spoke. "Like Reet, I don't want to lose Ma. I know she has not accepted Dad as her husband, yet, but I cannot see her with another man."

Zoya looked Neil straight in the eye. "And you, Neil, do you think Rhia's three-week acquaintance with this guy can shake your marriage of thirty-plus years?"

Today, she was not the loving aunt or the supportive sister-in-law. She was the avenging sister. As long as Rhia lived within the circle drawn around her by her doting family members, they were happy. Yet now, Rhia was testing her wings, and they were not. To remain within the circle, or not, should be Rhia's choice. Not one imposed by her family.

"Have you heard the saying, 'If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours otherwise..."

Reet narrowed her eyes. "How can you say that, Aunt Zoya? We have not imprisoned Mom!"

"Haven't we, Reet? Haven't we controlled her life as much, as much as she allowed...and now when she has made one decision, independent of us, we feel threatened? It has happened before, too," Zoya continued. "Give your mother some breathing space for a while. Don't try to smother her, Reet."

Did Neil understand what she was trying to convey? Zoya fluttered her hands. "Okay, kids, now go. I want to speak to your Dad, alone."

Reet and Roy reluctantly said their goodbyes then left. The room fell silent as Neil stared out the window ignoring Zoya. She knew her accusations had hurt him.

She patted the chair next to hers. "Hey, Neil, come...sit. Let us work this out."

Neil took a big breath and sighed. "That was revenge, eh, Zoya?"

"Yes, I am sorry; I couldn't help it. Rhia is not doing anything to hurt you on purpose."

"I know that. She genuinely likes that guy. And that... hurts."

"She likes him...yes, but she loves you. It is clear she has no romantic interest in Trevor. It is just that they are about the same mental age."

"And I am old, right?"

"No, you are not. Give Rhia some rope; don't crowd her. You belong to each other. You will never lose her."

"It is hard. She still hasn't forgiven me. How much more time does she need? Sometimes I feel my heart will stop beating!"

"Neil, please don't say that. I don't want you to worry. It is not something over which you need to stress."

"You think not? How can you be _sure_ she is not falling in love with him?"

"She is not. Believe me; she is not."

****

At the last moment, Rhia had changed the plans. She asked Trevor to meet her for the lunch in a restaurant. Rhia sat across the table from Trevor, laughing at his jokes He had discovered her funny bone. He worked on it to keep her laughing. He found himself enamored by her; there was no other word to describe her feelings for him.

Hidden beneath Rhia's smile ran a vein of melancholy, a melancholy his witticism could not erase. The only times she truly came alive were when she spoke of her family, and especially Neil. Her voice softened when she spoke his name. Yet, the melancholy was evident. It puzzled him.

Rhia had everything, and still he sensed a void. He dropped her off at home, refusing her invitation to come inside for coffee. Then he drove home determined to discover something about the past of this mysterious woman who fascinated him. When Trevor Googled Rhia's name and the news story popped up, his jaw dropped. He finally understood her...or thought he did.

He should have done his research before embarking on this romantic adventure. Chuckling to himself, he admitted, he hadn't really wanted to know. For once, he did not care about the past of a woman. And what a woman!

Rhia fascinated him; she was, transparent, fresh and delightful. There were no playing games with her; what she said was what she meant. Trevor decided to take his chances with her, though his probability of winning her was slim to none. "One life, one shot," was the motto he lived by.

****

Neil reached the breaking point. The ever-growing friendship between Trevor and his wife disturbed him. They jogged together. They had picnics at the park. How dare they! Picnics were sacred. Something only he and Rhia should share. It was _their_ story! Their thing. This reeked of betrayal! The worst part was pretending he liked Trevor. That he was cool with their friendship. This sense of frustration kept Neil away from Rhia. Seeing her with that jerk was more than he could take. He didn't trust himself not to say the wrong thing. He should have considered, the more he kept away from her, the more space he allowed for Trevor to slip in.

****

The situation had turned into a farce. The children were mad, but they did not dare quiz him for updates on their mom's relationship with the guy. His anger was apparent to them, even it was hidden from Rhia.Zoya enjoyed the ridiculous situation, amused by two tall men exchanging hypocritical pleasantries above Rhia's head. An angry Neil, a clueless Rhia and the rogue named Trevor. The perfect combination for an explosive situation.

****

Trevor began to drop by Rhia's home in the afternoons. Zoya made sure she was always around and wondered if her sister understood what was happening around her. Did she know this situation had turned her husband into a walking stick of dynamite, ready to explode? A short discussion that afternoon with Rhia, revealed the truth.

"Rhia, do you like Trevor?"

"Of course, I like him. He is fun."

"You think Neil is okay with him?"

"Yes of course; they are good friends."

Zoya coughed to cover a laugh, amused at her sister's gullibility. "Are you sure?"

Rhia looked puzzled. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Well, you have never had a friend like Trevor before. He is extremely attractive."

"You think so? Yes, he is good looking, but not as good looking as Neil. No one can beat him in that department."

Zoya smiled to herself. Neil was still Rhia's hero "So, why isn't Neil around today? He is usually with you at this time. And his good friend, Trevor? Is he dropping in, too?"

"Neil had something else to do. He excused himself. Hey, Zoya, will you do me a favour?"

"Of course Darling, just say."

"Stay around as long as Trevor is here."

"Okay... So you want me out of your house when he goes away?" Zoya laughed.

"No, you idiot; it's not that. I just don't know what to say to him, anymore. He is becoming sticky. And I have run out of things to talk about. You keep him busy. Please?"

"Okay, I will do so; but I have a favour to ask in return."

"Anything."

"Phone Neil. Insist he be here for dinner. I'll call Raoul, too. We'll have dinner together, like old times."

Her sister's return surprised Rhia. "That is not a favour you are asking, Zoya. It means I'll be asking my husband to dinner."

"Yes, your _husband,_ " Zoya emphasized.

That afternoon, the sisters quickly got rid of Trevor. They could tell by his raised eyebrows, he knew something was up. Zoya dropped hints at the appropriate moments while Rhia showed no interest in him. Neither did she invite him to stay longer. He reluctantly left while the devious sisters breathed a sigh of relief.

****

_Br-r-in-g!_ The phone rang. Rhia picked it up. It was Neil.

"Rhia, I forgot to mention... Don't prepare anything. I will bring the food. What do you prefer, Chinese or Indian?"

"Chinese, as always, Neil, with extra garlic sauce"

"Alright, we'll be there in half an hour."

Neil and Raoul knew the not so spectacular culinary skills of their spouses, so they decided to order take-out to release them from the 'arduous task of preparing the meal.'

They entered Rhia's home armed with food and drinks to find their wives lounging on the patio. Raoul declared royally, "Okay, we have done our part for the night. Neil and I will sit down and relax. Our obedient wives shall cater to our every whim."

"Yes, you wish!" Zoya retorted.

Rhia burst out laughing. Yes, it felt like old times. The good old times. Before her marriage fell apart.

****

Zoya felt sorry for Neil. He seemed, quiet, reserved. She could not bear to see him unhappy, so she whispered in his ear, "Hey, guess what? Rhia called you her _husband,_ today. She said she finds Trevor, _sticky._ Know what else? We got rid of him. Your troubles are nearly over, mate. She says you are better looking than that rake."

A huge grin split Neil's face. He relaxed and his chest puffed out with pride. Zoya's words gladdened his heart. He fought the urge to embrace Rhia and tell her how he had missed her. But since Rhia did not suspect Trevor's romantic interest in her, Neil did not want her to be aware someone found her attractive, Attractive enough to brave him for her. Ah-h, Ignorance was bliss.

****

Raoul discerned a softening in Rhia's attitude towards Neil. She looked for, and after Neil, discreetly, but it did not miss his eyes. Rhia never left Neil's side, physically or emotionally.

He and Zoya and often discussed them. They wanted them to be happy and fulfilled, again. Through the years, they had seen Neil's loneliness, but as much as they wanted to, could not help him. Neil seemed alive now that Rhia was up and about. His eyes stayed glued to her when she was within sight.

Raoul and Zoya exchanged knowing glances across the table sending silent wishes that Rhia would accept Neil, totally. The couples were transported back in time, twenty years earlier, when they regularly met and took meals together. The camaraderie and affection they shared was tangible. It was more meaningful for Neil, Zoya, and Raoul. They had been the ones to miss out on Rhia's presence the past two decades.

****

Rhia basked in the love of her family and enjoyed Raoul and Neil's intellectual discussions. Their knowledge was extensive; they could talk about any subject under the sky. The latest political scandal became the talk of the day. Zoya spiced up the conversation with her special brand of wit.

Rhia kept quiet, observing the others, listening to their voices—especially Neil's. Something was happening inside her. She could feel it, and yet she was not clear what it was.

After dinner and coffee, Neil insisted on clearing the table and filling the dishwasher.

The moon filtered through the clouds illuminating the soft sand and velvety waves. The couples kicked off their shoes. The men rolled up the edges of their pants. Raoul took Zoya's hand in his and gently led her to the rim of the sea. Neil followed suit. Rhia went willingly, clasping her husband's warm hand in her small one, noting how it felt as if it belonged in his. It was a perfect night for lovers to stroll along the beach—a night of warmth, and silent communion, where heart speaks to heart. A night when memories are made.

It was late when Zoya and Raoul bade Rhia good night. Neil reluctantly left her to walk across to his own home. Rhia climbed the stairs to her bedroom flooded with a strange feeling she could not place.

Early the next morning, someone knocked on Rhia's front door. She peeped through the window, surprised to find her children, along with strangers, holding a huge wrapped, object, which they balanced on her doorstep. She asked them to wait while she changed from her bathrobe into day clothes.

****

"Reet, let me handle this. When it comes to Ma, you lose your cool."

"What if she refuses?" Reet huffed

"She won't; but be pleasant. Ma knows when we are faking. So act natural! And let me handle the situation."

"If it doesn't work out, I'll strangle you, and Mila will help me!"

"I'll help you strangle me. Now be quiet, she is here!"

The door flew open. "Hey kids, what's up, and what's this all wrapped up?" Rhia welcomed her two hearts with hugs and kisses, and then greeted the two men.

"We got you a present." Roy beamed at his mother, shielding Reet from her keen eyes.

"A present? Wow. But, why? And Reet is not at work today? What is going on?"

Roy's grin split his face from ear to ear. "We just wanted to give you something, but could not decide on what. So we got together with your grandchildren and agreed on a special gift, just for you. Reet took a day off. She wanted to be here when you opened it."

Reet hid behind the six-feet-tall rectangular object. Adding the "grandchildren" part was her idea. Ma always melted at the mention of the little ones.

Rhia held the door wide open. "Come in." She was happy to see them and touched they had brought her something.

Immediately, Reet busied herself preparing soft drinks for everyone. The two burly men brought the gift inside while Rhia ensured her walls were not scratched, the flooring remained impeccable, and the furniture was not struck as they carried the object inside. The men, thoroughly harassed by Rhia's meticulous instructions, patiently listened and obeyed. They placed the object in the corner of the patio outside as directed by Roy. Once they left, Roy and Reet invited their mother to unwrap her gift.

An excited Rhia opened her present slowly. A treadmill stood in its splendor. She was floored. The gift must have cost her children a fortune. The treadmill looked state-of-the-art. Something from a science fiction movie.

Overcome with emotion, Rhia stammered, "Reet, Roy, you-you shouldn't have... It's such an expensive gift...Oh, my babies, come into my arms."

****

They embraced her lovingly, holding on to her, their mother, revelling in her warmth and touch. She loved their gift. Their ploy had worked. She would jog at home now, with their Dad nearby. _Terrible Trevor_ would be history. Roy showed his Mom how to use it safely.Then the trio tried out all the applications on the treadmill.

Rhia was touched by her children's' gift, not just the cost of the treadmill, but the effort they had put into presenting her with it. Both had taken a day off to be with her, to pamper her.She missed them more than she would reveal. She missed their company, their love, their jokes, the little incidents which made them a family. Her family tree had sprouted too fast; she would have liked more time to savor every moment. Yet, she knew it was impossible.

****

In the afternoon, Neil hopped out of his car to hear laughter coming from Rhia's home. Had Trevor dropped in? With clenched fists he marched across the yard. Roy's boisterous laughter and Reet's guffaws calmed him. After taking a deep breath then letting it out slowly, Neil presented himself to Rhia, as a confident, happy man. His gaze fell on the object Rhia proudly showed off.

She waved her hand at the treadmill. "Hey, Neil. Look what the children bought me. Isn't it wonderful? I told them they shouldn't have." She shook her head as if it was too much to take in. Turning back to Neil, she smiled. "It is ours. You can work out here. We can work out together."

Deeply touched and flattered she would share her gift with him, Neil could only say, "We will" Then he switched his focus to Reet and Roy. The not-so-innocent faces of his two scamps revealed their true intentions. He smiled. They may have pulled the wool over their mother's eyes, but their ploy hadn't gotten past him. Not for one second.

The moment was precious to Neil. It had been a long time since only the four of them had been together. The family had learned to celebrate every moment they were together and to be happy. They sat huddled, close together, reminiscing on olden days, making plans for tomorrows.

When Rhia left the room to pop a chicken in the oven, Neil looked at his two scoundrels, a question in his eyes. "So...?"

Reet spoke in their defense. "Dad we couldn't sit by and do nothing!"

Secretly delighted, he still teased them. "You do not trust me, or your mother?"

"We do not trust _Terrible Trevor_! And Ma likes him!"

"More than me?"

"No...but Dad... all is fair in love and war," Roy virtuously proclaimed.

"Thank you. You two are still a terrific pair. I pity anyone who gets in your way. Does your mother suspect?"

"No. We feel bad about our intentions, but we don't like the guy. He is filling Mom's ears with his sob stories. Dad you know how soft-hearted she is," Roy explained.

"She pities him..." Reet elaborated

"What is done, is done. Now, you two listen to me. You gave this gift to your Mom with your heart. That is all that counts. She is happy, I am happy, and you should be happy."

"Okay, Dad." Both were relieved. After their father's recent snarls, his commendation soothed them.

"And I am sorry I was angry and took it out on you." His gaze shifted toward the kitchen. "Now, no more talk about this. Your mother will be returning any moment."

While they were making plans to watch the latest movie, she appeared. The sun set on the foursome as they dined, laughed, talked and watched a movie together. _The Awesome Foursome_ as they called themselves.

With a heavy heart Rhia watched her children leave, to return to their own nests. If only she could keep them under her wings. Her smiling face gave no hint of her underlying feelings. Only Neil understood her sigh. He gave her shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. Then he kissed her lightly on both cheeks and departed, also.

****

Neil sensed Rhia's acute loneliness. Everything in him fought to stay with her, but he would wait for her invitation. He must let her come to him. He hoped the time would come soon. Lonely also, he did not know how long he could control the powerful urge to pull Rhia into his arms and kiss her fervently. More than just light pecks on the cheek.

# Chapter Thirteen

### Ray's wake-up call

"Hello." Rhia's sleepy voice slurred over the phone.

"Rhia, it is me, Sheetal, Oh my God, where is Neil? I can't reach him, Zoya nor Raoul?"

Rhia jackknifed in her bed, switched on the bedside table, and checked the time. It was two in the morning. Sheetal was her sister-in-law, her brother Ray's wife. "Sheetal, what happened?"

"Call Neil, please Rhia, call him." Sheetal sobbed.

"Stay on the line, I am calling Neil, don't cut off the connection!" Rhia threw the phone on the bed before she ran over to Neil's place. She pressed the door bell, banged on the door, and screamed his name.

"Neil, Sheetal is on the phone! Something has happened. Hurry!" Neil rushed out in his shorts, dashed over to Rhia's place and up to her bedroom, leaving her to follow in his wake.

"Sheetal, what happened? Calm down. Now tell me. Yes. Yes, okay." Rhia tugged on Neil's arm, wanting answers. He held her against him, cradling her head against his chest, soothing her.

"Yes we are coming. Don't worry; we will be there in a few hours. Stay calm, Sheetal. We are here for you." Neil cut the call.

Rhia tugged on his arm. "Neil, what happened? Tell me!"

"Ray has been admitted to the hospital. He will undergo open heart surgery. No, don't cry; there is no time," he urged. "Come; let me pack a bag for you. Go get dressed."

Neil gave Rhia no time to stress. He packed her bag. At the same time, he phoned Raoul to inform him about Ray, and their imminent departure. With tear-blurred eyes, Rhia blindly followed Neil's instructions.

After locking the door for her, Neil held Rhia close for a moment. Then he led her to his place where he packed his bag, too. In a trance, Rhia sat motionless on Neil's bed watching him move around the room. Fifteen minutes after ending the call, they were all set. Neil bundled their bags in his car, buckled a paralyzed Rhia in the passenger seat, then drove off. On the way, he phoned Roy, informed him about Ray's condition, giving only brief details.

"Son, we are on our way there, now. I don't know how long we will be gone. Take care of things at home."

"Don't worry, Dad. Everything will be taken care of. Drive carefully."

Locked inside a mental bubble, Rhia could not react, think, nor imagine what was happening. She could hear Neil's voice but could not comprehend the words. Her brain had shut down. Neil was doubly worried. Rhia was not responding. He switched on soft music, then slid his hand towards her. When she unbuckled her seat belt, he pulled her close. She rested her head on his shoulder, hugged him tightly.

"Try to rest, my Love. Sheetal will need you to be strong. It is our turn now, Rhia. We have to show up for them, Love."

Rhia raised her head to look up at him with wide eyes. "Zoya?"

"She is on her way. Raoul is with her." When Rhia opened her mouth to speak again, he gently pressed a finger to her lips. "Sh-hh...sleep, sweet Rhia."

"Can't."

"Listen to my heartbeat; it used to calm you down."

A tear slid off Rhia's cheek, soaking through Neil's thin shirt. In the rush, he had forgotten his jacket. Glued to him, she warmed both his heart and body. He tightened his hold on her, keeping his eyes on the road. Soon Rhia's body relaxed then she dozed off. The drive was long, uneventful. At six in the morning, they reached the hospital. Neil phoned his children to keep them updated.

Rhia trembled as they neared Ray's room. A haggard and worn Sheetal met them at the coffee machine. Her children lived out of the country, but they were on the way home. So far, she had to handle everything alone. As soon as Sheetal saw Rhia, she collapsed in her arms and cried uncontrollably. Rhia stiffened her spine. She held her sister-in-law with strong arms.

Neil patted Sheetal's back, then went off to see the doctors, confident Rhia would be alright left alone. Her power had returned as Sheetal reached out to her for comfort.

On his way down the corridor, Neil replayed the garbled conversation he'd had with Sheetal, over the phone. "Ray has collapsed... heart attack... blocked arteries... open heart surgery..."

This worried him. The hospital staff informed Neil that Ray was holding his own. The doctors were still working on him. There was nothing they could do except wait.

He went back to the women and told them the news, persuading them to have some breakfast in the hospital canteen. They were soon joined by Zoya and Raoul. The two men took over, organizing stay-over plans. Raoul left to book rooms in the nearest hotel, a mere five- minute drive away. When he returned, they asked the ladies to check in and rest.

"We can't go; Ray is still in the operating room!" Rhia exploded. Sheetal was too numb to argue but she shook her head.

Zoya just glared at her husband. "Ray will need us when he gets up," she declared.

It was apparent to all that Sheetal was exhausted. Raoul put his foot down and Neil backed him. "Ray will need you strong and rested if you are to be of help to him. He won't need three frazzled women."

"What we can do is take turns," Neil proposed to Raoul and Zoya. "Two at a time. Rhia and I will take the first shift. You three, go and rest. Come back in a few hours. We will call if there is any change in Ray. Is that agreeable to everyone?"

Raoul agreed, promising they would return at the suggested time. Sheetal reluctantly gave in when they persisted. She was reassured her family would be with her. Zoya and Raoul gently led Sheetal to the car then up to the hotel room, treating her tenderly.

Roy phoned to say he was on his way. Reet would arrive later in the afternoon. Raoul booked more rooms for the family members. Staying at the nearby hotel served a practical purpose for Sheetal too. Her and Ray's home was half an hour away. The proximity to the hospital meant she would be closer to her husband.

Distance meant nothing to this family. When the bugle sounded, everyone presented themselves. The family would be present to help out. Rhia and Neil picked up some newspapers and books then sat down in the waiting room like sentinels. They observed the doctors and nurses milling around. Neil was accustomed to this scene. He could feel the pulse of the hospital. Rhia did not speak. She focused on the unread page in front of her, fighting to block negative thoughts while incessantly praying for her brother's life. Since their parents were deceased, the family tree had shrunk. She did not want to lose anyone. She was extremely attached to them all.

Rhia mentally replayed her childhood. Although Ray was six years younger than her, the age difference melted when Ray entered his teens. She recalled scenes from his life—Ray's first girlfriend, the time their father caught him smoking, how she had hid his dirty books then burnt them before their parents caught him. She remembered their closeness, childish arguments, and the affection she and Ray shared. Her marriage to Neil, and later, Ray's migration had not diluted their bond. Both had families and lived within their own worlds, but this did not change their relationship.

****

Neil got up to get some coffee. On his way down the hospital corridor, someone called out his name. Surprised, he stopped to turn around.

A vaguely familiar face said, "Hello, don't I know you? Oh yes...Neil. What are you doing here?"

The man sounded concerned. It took Neil a few seconds to connect Dr. Allen's face to where he'd previously seen him. He worked in the hospital where Rhia had convalesced. "Hello...sorry. I did not recognise you, at first. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I work here now. How is your wife? Is she recuperating well?"

As all the medical staff in the previous hospital, Dr. Allen had deep respect for Neil. They had seen him age before their eyes. His daily visits to his wife as well as the benevolent work at the hospital, endeared him to all.

"Is there any way I can help you?"

Neil sighed. A weight lifted from his shoulders as he told Dr. Allen about Ray's situation. The doctor promptly left to get information from the medical staff. Neil paced for few minures until he reappeared.

"Your brother-in-law, Ray, is being stitched up," Dr. Allen reassured Neil. The doctors are hopeful for a speedy recovery; but he will need to take it easy for a few months."

Neil thanked him. When the doctor left, Neil phoned Raoul to give him the good report. He then rushed to Rhia to give her the wonderful news. Overwhelmed, she fell into his arms and burst out crying.

Raoul dealt with two women sobbing with relief, each clinging to one of his arms. They bombarded him with questions, demanding details, for which he had no answers. Exasperated, he phoned Neil to direct all the missiles to him.

Sheetal could not wait to see Ray. Neither could Zoya and Raoul. They tore down to the hospital, breaking all speed limits. When they entered Ray's room, they found him tired, and groggy from medication, but he smiled at his wife, sisters, and brothers-in-law.

****

Ray was not surprised to see his family around him. Even Neil. Though he was not close to his brother-in-law, out of choice, seeing him there was not a surprise. While his heart was being opened under local anesthesia, he had a lot of time to think about Sheetal, Rhia and Zoya, the three women in his life.

He, Rhia, and Zoya were three siblings born of the same parents, brought up in the same environment. All led different lives. Zoya lived the most charmed life, but she'd had trials with her children, especially the time her son fell into the clutches of drug addiction. It had not been easy for Zoya and Raoul to pull Malik, their son, from the pit he had fallen into, and get him rehabilitated.

Malik was still a drifter. He preferred to live away from his family. He did not hold a job for long, always quitting or doing something against the rules to ensure his employer asked him to leave. Maybe he was a gypsy at heart, not able to put down his roots. The family members had done everything in their power to help him. Neil had dedicated a lot of his time to Malik. They had been able to pull Malik out from drugs; however his feet did not stick to one place for long.

Rhia did not know about Malik's predicament. Neil and Zoya protected her from the ugly aspects of life. It was one thing to know about other people's troubles; but when it came to your own family, the impact was different. Rhia was cosseted and protected. Too much. To Ray's way of thinking, everyone underestimated Rhia's strength.

Ray begrudged Neil for pushing him out of Rhia's orbit. He'd had no right to do so. Adult Ray was not the kind to create trouble. Therefore, he kept himself aloof from Rhia and Neil. He met his beloved sister only during family meetings and festivals. The wild teenage boy he had been, had matured into a respectable man. He had inherited his mother's wisdom as well as his father's stubbornness

Now, Ray had to work on his animosity towards Neil. Life was too short to hold grudges. It was time to forgive his brother-in-law, take hold of the olive branch Neil had held out to him these last twenty years or so.

Ray thought about his life's journey while his heart was open, as the doctors worked on it. No, his life had not been bad, but the close call made him yearn to embrace all those he had nearly lost. Even Neil. He wanted his children nearby and his wife in front of his eyes.

Sheetal's red eyes and tired face spoke volumes of her ordeal. Ray was an introvert. Unlike his sisters, he showed little emotion. Silent communication was his way. But since he had come so near death, he wanted to tell everyone he loved, how much they meant to him.

His sisters knew his heart. As they had grown up together; each could almost read the others' mind. But Sheetal was different; he had not allowed her to get too close. That was going to change. From this day forward, he would fully express his feelings, show his beautiful wife her how much he cared.

Tired, Ray closed his eyes, listening to their soft voices.

****

"He is tired. Let him sleep. I will stay with him. You people go back and rest." Sheetal whispered

At that moment, Roy tiptoed into the room, and whispered, "How is he?" Relieved to learn all was well, he lightly touched his uncle's shoulder. The rest of the family said their goodbyes to Sheetal, leaving her alone with her husband. The cloud had dissipated. They drove back to the hotel to hold a mini celebration.

Under the fond eyes of Roy, Rhia and Neil flopped onto their twin beds and fell promptly asleep His uncle's heart attack had given Roy a big scare. It could have been his father on the hospital bed, and his mother sobbing her heart out. He wondered if those same thoughts had crossed his mother's mind. He had not had time to observe her well.

Guilt flooded Roy. It was selfish to be concerned about his own parents when his uncle was lying in the hospital recovering from surgery. But, he was human, and humans were flawed.

****

After a well-deserved rest, the family convened to Ray's room where they chalked out a plan. Ray was weak, so he spoke little. His wife's sole duty would be to look after him while everyone else took care of the rest.

Once Ray was shifted home, the sisters would stay to help Sheetal. Their husbands would commute as much as possible, to be with them, in case they were needed. Fortunately, one of Roy's restaurants was in the same town. He would take care of feeding them. Roy also had a studio apartment he used when he stayed overnight for business. His mother and aunt would take advantage of it.

Sheetal and Ray listened to the family organizing, planning, taking care of everything. Sheetal was relieved. This was what family should be about; when trouble arose, the troops showed up. Ray closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. Soon, Sheetal joined him in a snooze, free from the tension, and trusting her family to find the best solution.

In a week, Ray was discharged from the hospital with strict instructions from the doctors. The family pitched in to help, first by driving them home. They would not leave Sheetal and Ray alone until Ray could take care of himself.

Reet had not been able to get away to help the others look after her uncle as much as she wanted to. With a demanding job and the little ones to care for, it was difficult. She compensated for her absence by hiring a nurse to look after Ray and visited him as often as possible.

****

From his observation point in bed in his own home, Ray scrutinized his sisters and their husbands. He found Zoya, as always, strong in her relationship with Raoul. It was Rhia and Neil's behaviour which disturbed him. They still lived apart, and he was not happy about it. Neil and Rhia behaved like polite brother and sister. The spark was missing. Ray read concern for Rhia, when he looked in Neil's eyes.

A tiny part of him was not sad for Neil's suffering. He had suffered too, during the time Neil gave him the cold shoulder, excluding him from Rhia's life. However, his close brush with death had made his heart more forgiving. He, of all people, knew how much Rhia loved Neil. He planned how he would wait for the right moment, take advantage of his frail condition, to get what he wanted. It would be sweet revenge on Rhia for the times she'd mercilessly teased him.

The following day an occasion presented itself. Sheetal dozed in a chair. In the opposite corner, Rhia sat flipping through a fashion magazine. Knowing she would not argue with him in his delicate condition, he feigned a pathetic moan. "Rhia-a."

Rhia dropped the magazine to hurry to his bedside. "What is it? What do you need, Ray?"

He moaned again. "Are you still living on your own? Is your idiot of a husband keeping you away from him?" He could tell by her narrowed eyes, Rhia was riled. Good. That was his intent. If he could get her angry, she would think about what she was doing.

"No, I am the one keeping away," she asserted.

Ray whimpered pathetically, his voice weak. "And...why is...that?"

"Because...I don't feel it is the right time,"

Ray forgot to stammer when he asked, "When will it be the right time— when you turn seventy and your teeth have fallen out? Or maybe you are waiting for Neil to be on his deathbed?" Remembering his act of helplessness, he groaned louder.

His wife awoke, rushed to his side. "What happened? Tell me! What happened?" Sheetal's body trembled. Rhia backed away to let him explain. "Nothing my dear. I was just asking Rhia about her life."

"Are you in pain? Tell me!" Sheetal demanded.

Ray reached out to squeeze her hand. "No darling; it was just a twitch in my thigh." Sheetal got busy massaging the feigned twitch while Rhia left the room in a daze.

Ray watched without remorse. This should set her to thinking. It was time to take off the gloves. Rhia had been protected long enough. He had seen Neil's devotion for his wife and acknowledged the sacrifices and the compromises Neil had made. Ray resented Neil, but his admiration and respect for the man won out. But mostly, he was doing this for Rhia's happiness.

****

Rhia chewed on Ray's words. They were hard to swallow—harder to digest. As they echoed through her mind, taunting her, she questioned herself, her wants, wishes, and desires. She kept her thoughts safely guarded, and did not share them, even with her sister.

****

Ray recuperated within a month and all their lives returned to normal. His daughter, Selvi, moved back in the country to stay with her parents.

As all the family members, Roy was happy over his uncle's recovery. However he was discouraged to see his parents' relationship revert back to the way it was soon after his mother had awakened. He could not understand. What happened? Everything had been progressing so well. Neil was just as confused—even hurt—by Rhia's withdrawal. She had become morbid, quiet. Something was brewing. Not knowing what, made him nervous

# Chapter Fourteen

### The wife confronts the mistress.

Neil gave a final pat to the album. It was ready; the pictures were laid in chronological order with anecdotes he had written, beneath each one. Neil was skilled in software technology; he manipulated it like a pro. He digitalized, cropped, sheared the pictures. He had them printed as per his wishes. The album depicted his and Rhia's journey as a couple from their first pictures together up to the present.

On all occasions, throughout the twenty years Rhia slept, Neil had his picture taken with her. He chose the best ones to fill the album, hoping she would see these pictures as evidence of their closeness, his relentless faith, and enduring love for her. The latest one with Rhia was wonderful. Her beautiful face beamed with happiness. Almost as if she were in love. She did not look her age. Neither did he. Both looked ten years younger.

Stacks and stacks of pictures were taken over the years. The family had gotten together many times for formal occasions, each member dressed like a movie star. Many pictures had been taken of those special times. Neil sighed as he wrapped the album in a soft cloth and placed it in a beautiful handcrafted box. He had poured his heart and soul into every part of the album. Would this gift mean as much to Rhia as it did to him? He picked up the box, walked across to Rhia's place, then slipped inside, placed it on her kitchen counter, he turned around and left.

****

As Rhia descended the stairs, her gaze fell on the box. It had to be Neil's doing. But what was in it? She took the box to the sitting room and curled up in an armchair. Kicking off her slippers and tucking her feet beneath her, she opened the box and pulled out the album. She caressed the cover tenderly, as if it were Neil's body. She openrd the album slowly.

Rhia was mesmerized. She caught a bird's eye view of her life, detailed in the pictures, as she turned the pages. Memories flooded back. She relived her life with Neil, their courtship days, marriage, her pregnancies, and even the times they had been unhappy. The pictures showed the obvious— the false smile pasted on her face, Neil's indifference. Only one year of their life together; but it had marred the rest.

The pictures of her lying in the hospital bed, brought tears to her eyes. There was Neil, his head close to hers, arm around her shoulder, or holding her hand. She looked so lifeless... _dead_. She wondered from where he willed the conviction to even think she would come back. She resembled a corpse, pale and ghostlike— but her husband was holding onto her. The thought hit her like a sledgehammer. Was it Neil's faith which had kept her alive? _Was it his sheer will power that had dragged her out of the coma, back to the living world?_

Rhia took stock of her life, visualizing what her life would have been like without Neil by her side. Even after his betrayal, she could not imagine life without him, and certainly this happy family constantly twirling around her, would not exist. She hugged the album to her chest for a moment, then opened it again, to view the rest of the pictures.

They were faithful, showing every stage of Neil's and her relationship, from her awakening, to her rejection of Neil, to their awkwardness, and now...their friendship. Friendship? Was that all she wanted? Where was their relationship going? She was almost fifty-eight; it was time she knew.

Rhia closed the album as she heard Neil's car pulled out of the garage. He was going to work, which meant he would be detained for a while. Rhia knew Neil's former mistress' name—the vixen who almost destroyed her marriage. She had searched the internet for data about her and, at last, found her picture and a contact number. The woman looked old— _very_ old. At least older than her.

Rhia phoned the woman's office and took an appointment at eleven o'clock that morning, careful to give her maiden name. She opened her closet to choose the clothes which would slim her most. Then she phoned her hairdresser. The latter had an opening in thirty minutes. Rhia got dressed and went out. After she had her hair styled, she asked them to apply her makeup. She would face this woman, fully armored. The feelings of inferiority were quickly dissolving. Rhia felt more than equal to her competitor. Hadn't Neil forsaken his mistress to be with her all these years? With these positive thoughts firmly entrenched in her mind, Rhia drove away from the beauty parlor. It might be unethical to have a personal appointment during working hours, but Rhia felt uncomfortable about meeting Cindy in her home.

As the receptionist showed her into Cindy's office, the latter's eyes widened. _So...she recognizes me._ Cindy motioned Rhia to take a seat around the large table. Then she dropped down in her own chair.

Neither spoke. They just stared at one another. Rhia had planned to say many things, but nothing came to mind. How do you ask a woman, after twenty years, why she slept with your husband? It was an awkward situation, but Rhia never broke eye contact.

Cindy cleared her throat. "Would you like something to drink...a coffee...tea?"

Rhia spoke softly. "Thank you. May I have a glass of water?"

Cindy buzzed the intercom. Soon a maid entered with a glass of water on a tray and served Rhia. The latter took a sip then set the glass down, looked straight into Cindy's eyes. "I need to know why?"

Cindy took a deep breath, exhaled, got up, then walked around the table till she stood directly in front of Rhia. Through the grapevine, she'd heard Neil and Rhia were not living together. She threw herself, "I was young and foolish, unmarried. I believed I could have everything my heart desired. I believed women who put their careers on hold for their families, were dumb. I thought you were dumb. I had no respect for you. To me you did not exist. Neil was my hero—everything I wanted to be and have. A shark in the company. I wanted to emulate him. I followed him everywhere and made sure he noticed me."

After pausing for a deep breath, she began again. "And he did. I seduced him—acted provocatively—but I must say he was not easy to seduce. Do you know we only slept once, though we spent a lot of time together at the office and on tours?

"Ours was a strange relationship. He was there and yet...not there. I never really had him, entirely. Not like you did...and still do. He never loved me, Rhia. It was an affair doomed to fail. We did not love each other. But yes, I still respect Neil and want to be like him—a devoted spouse and...a loving parent."

Cindy's voice broke but she continued "Look at you now, surrounded by your children and husband, while I...have nothing. My lust for a career, my...callousness... has left me with nothing. You know...Neil taught us all a hard lesson. When you had the accident, he changed completely. He matured overnight. Neil was at his best as your husband, Rhia. He lived for you."

"I have not spoken to him since he left the company. He has avoided me. But we did get news of him. I am sorry for what happened; I am sorry for your accident. Rhia, what you have is so precious that any woman in the world would kill for it— a husband—a man like Neil. Someone who stands by her in times of trouble, in sickness and in health."

Rhia cleared her throat, started to speak. Cindy continued, uttering words buried inside her for so many years. The guilt she'd carried so long, made her unstoppable. "I want to ask your forgiveness, I am sorry I hurt you, I am sorry for the pain I caused you."

"It takes two to tango," Rhia replied. "You owe me nothing. You are not related to me."

"I am related to you Rhia. As a woman, I should have respected your marriage." Cindy looked down at the floor, unable to look her in the eye.

Rhia sighed. Two women in their late fifties, raking up their pasts. "I thank you for your frankness, Cindy, and I am sorry you are unhappy. I just needed to know. Thank you, again." Rhia spoke to Cindy's bowed head.

Cindy looked up wearing a timid smile. "No, I need to thank you for coming. I did not have the courage to face you. But listen to me; please...please do not throw away what you have with Neil. It is too precious."

On these words, Rhia walked out of the room unaware that Cindy had collapsed on the floor, sobbing. Neil was the only man she had ever loved. She realized it when she lost him. And now, she knew she would never have him. Seeing Rhia strong and vibrant brought her both relief and pain. Relief because Neil would be happy. Pain because she had lost all hope of winning him back.

****

Rhia walked out of the office in a daze. She did not know what she had expected, but this was not it. Cindy's frankness—her apology—came as a shock. That Neil was sexy, and attractive to other women, was no surprise; neither was it a surprise that a woman would still love him twenty years after the breakup. Rhia would not kid herself; Cindy still loved Neil. She had seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. Now, it dawned on her, she no longer had a problem with it.

This was not a simple matter; neither was it an eye-for-an-eye situation where only revenge would satisfy her. It was more than that. Revenge had never been the motive. Had Rhia so desired, she could have had an affair with almost any man she chose; she had not lacked offers. The knife in her heart was her husband preferring someone else over her. He had left her alone to satisfy another woman's desires. He had shared intimacies that should have been exclusively theirs. Whether it was a one-time sexual affair or they had slept together many times, did not matter. Once was enough to break her heart.

Rhia wanted her husband back, and he _was_ back; but something inside stopped her from loving him outright, allowing him to get too close. She wanted to be rid of that block—not settle scores. Maybe she could not put her thoughts into coherent sentences, but she needed to know the reason for Neil's infidelity.

Rhia returned home. She phoned Zoya. After a bit of planning, they decided to spend the afternoon together on the beach. Rhia prepared a picnic basket. When Zoya arrived, they took it and strolled along the shore, listening to the whisper of the waves. Rhia spied a good spot to settle and pointed it out. They spread out the beach mat and sat down.

****

As per Neil's instructions, Zoya and Roy backed off trying to solve his and Rhia's problem. Rhia was too intelligent to be manipulated. It was best to leave her alone to work out her own issues. So, although Zoya sensed Rhia wanted to confide, she kept the conversation on neutral ground

Rhia took a deep breath. "I saw Cindy today."

Zoya's brow furrowed. "Who is Cindy?"

"The woman Neil had an affair with."

"Wha-at? Why?" Zoya squealed. Rhia kept silent while questions whirled through Zoya's head. How on earth had Rhia located this woman? Why had she wanted to?

"She is alright; not the monster I had imagined. She even apologized. Can you believe it? Then she asked me to forgive her."

It had been more than twenty years. Surely the woman had aged. Everyone got wrinkles, sagging skin. Curious, Zoya asked, "How does she look?

"Tired, defeated. I felt sorry for her." Rhia sighed. "She still loves Neil."

Does Neil know about this?" Zoya could only imagine her brother-in-law's reaction.

"No, he does not, Zoya. I did something, today that I should have done back then. I mean... At least this is how I feel, now. I should have confronted Neil when I sensed things were going wrong in our marriage, and asked him to repair them. Maybe I waited too long for his explanations. After all these years, I still needed... _need_ to know why. Why it happened."

"Can't you let it go Rhia? Neil was a different person back then. Dredging it up now... Won't it just make both of you hurt all over again?"

"We need to move on, Zoya, both Neil and me. We love each other, but there is something inside me that keeps rejecting him. We come close, then I tear myself away. Is it fair for him to hang around for a relationship which is going nowhere? He just keeps hurting with me. I see it... Then I hurt more."

"It is his choice to be with you Rhia; you cannot take that from him." Zoya's voice rose in anger. "You should speak to him; but frankly, I find your behaviour and attitude ridiculous!" It was time to clear the air with her sister. Rhia needed to hear it for her own good.

"I know you have been hurt. I can't imagine what you have been through—or what you are going through, now. But life is too bloody short. Anything can happen at any time. Are you willing to take the risk of losing Neil again? What happens if he dies of a heart attack or something? We almost lost Ray. Oh no! Don't start crying on me now! Neil is almost sixty. How long do you expect him to live? Every time you are with him, you punish him again for something he did over twenty years ago."

Zoya swallowed hard. A strong urge to take her sister by the shoulders to shake her, almost won out. "You let your hurt take precedence over everything. Stop being selfish, Rhia! Wake up. You have allowed this past year to go by. Don't waste any more time. You are right; why should Neil continue to suffer because of you? He has already paid for his sins." Zoya threw up her hands. "Set him free. Let him go to Cindy! After all, she values him more than you do."

Zoya stomped around Rhia, noting the shock on her face. It did not matter. Her sister needed to hear this. "Neil has changed, Rhia; it's you who hasn't. Grow up. The man you threw out of the house has gone. A new man replaced him. A good man who loves you."

Zoya slapped her hands on her hips. It was a better option than slapping Rhia. "Decide right now what you want to do. The family cannot live with your erratic behaviour any longer. You want a divorce? Then file for one. Cindy will welcome him with open arms. You want Neil? Then go to him. Decide _now_!"

# Chapter Fifteen

### Rhia's Choice

Neil came home exhausted after a hard day at work. He popped a pre-cooked dish into the oven, not knowing or caring what it was. He was exhausted, emotionally as well as physically. Ray's near-death experience had shaken him to the core, forcing him to relive those desperate hours after Rhia's accident. The weight of it had been too much to bear.

Years of being a single parent, the pillar around which his children depended, the lion protecting his pride, had inculcated in him a stoicism that rivaled a Spartan warrior. He had not spoken about his worries or revealed his inner turmoil. Not even to Zoya and Raoul.

It was almost seven o'clock by the time he had showered and dressed. He pulled out a chair, sat down, and tried to relax with a drink. Then he picked up his fork and began to eat his solitary dinner.

At nine o'clock, he walked across the yard to say goodnight to Rhia. When he found her sitting on the patio in the dark, it concerned him. "Hi, how was your day?" he asked.

"Alright. Sit down, Neil. Would you like a night cap or something?"

Neil dropped down on the long, cane couch. "No thanks, Love, I had a drink; I am okay."

"How was your day?"

"Challenging. We had some problems that needed extra brain work. I hope Reet joins the company soon. I need some help. Tomorrow, though, I am taking a day off."

"You want a massage?" When Neil started to protest, she stopped him. "No, you rest."

Rhia got up, stood behind Neil. She started to knead his nape and shoulders, gently easing the knots out of his tense body.

Neil relaxed at her soothing touch. Rhia had magical fingers. He closed his eyes and let himself go. Soon, he snored softly. Rhia continued to massage till the knots gave way. He felt the light blanket cover him, and sensed her watching him, but he was too tired to open his eyes.

In a few minutes, he felt a light weight on his right arm. He awoke with a start, disoriented for a moment and found Rhia had fallen asleep against his shoulder.

Something wasn't quite right with her tonight. He sensed vibrations of restlessness emanating from her, in the way she spoke, and through her fingers as she massaged him. Rhia had never been one who could keep her emotions under lock and key.

Gently, he cupped her face with his left hand, supporting her, as he lifted his right arm to wrap it around her, to pull her closer. After snuggling Rhia against him, Neil spread the blanket over them. He went back to sleep, cozily wrapping her in his arm.

The moon watched over them, the clouds slowly danced in the skies. The sea below made as little noise as possible, the surf breaking almost silently on the bleached sand. The wind blew seaward. Nothing and no one, interrupted their sleep.

The early morning sun rays caressed Neil's face, waking him. He smiled to see Rhia's head burrowed in his chest, her face hidden under the blanket Neil needed to move his stiff arm, but if he did, she would awaken. He did not want to distance himself from her warmth. They shared so few intimate moments, that each second was counted precious. Neil brushed a curl from Rhia's face then bent to kiss her forehead. He would wait for her to awaken. Meanwhile, he enjoyed sun rays touching his face, the rosy sky, and Rhia's rhythmic breathing.

He knew she wanted to say something, but also knew, judging by what had happened of late, the news might not be good. Like a puppy worrying over a bone, Rhia would not let go of a thing until she cracked beneath the pressure. Neil took a deep breath and braced himself.

Half an hour later, Rhia stirred with a sigh. He dropped his arms to let her roll over and raise up. With tousled hair, eyes half-closed from sleep, her clothes askew, she still looked fetching.

"Hi," she murmured, then flopped back against him, rubbing her cheek against his chest.

_The way she used to before... No._ _I will not go there._ Neil took a calming breath then whispered, "Hi." He bent to kiss the top of her head before patting down her unruly hair.

Rhia pushed back against his chest to look up at him again. "Did we sleep out here all night?"

Neil tweaked her nose and smiled. "I'm afraid so." Rhia flopped back against him.

"Hungry?" she asked, her voice muffled against his chest.

"Yes." he replied, his voice equally muffled with his head buried in her hair.

She yawned then murmured, "Baked beans, omelet, bread, grilled tomatoes, and coffee?"

"Wonderful." Neil wished they could remain like this forever. He hated to let her go.

She twisted in his arms then sat up. "You get the fresh bread, I make the rest. Deal?"

"Super deal."

Still sleep-dazed, Rhia asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost six thirty."

"Okay, I will crawl out of here for a quick shower while you go hunt for the bread," she ordered.

"Yes, boss. Anything else?" Neil teased.

"Come back fast. I am hungry." Rhia slid off his lap then slowly made her way into the house, up the stairs, and into her bedroom.

Neil watched her go then walked back to his place, a smile plastered across his face. In twenty minutes he was out of the house, fresh, energized...and ravenous.

The refreshing shower brought Rhia fully awake. She towel-dried her hair, hurriedly dressed up, before heading to the kitchen.

Neil was a hardcore coffee drinker, and it was her preferred drink on cold days, for picnics, or to have with sandwiches. But for breakfast, she preferred tea. So, she put on a pot of each.

While the coffee and tea brewed, Rhia prepared the baked beans. She added spices the way both she and Neil liked. Next, she sliced the tomatoes then pushed them under the grill.

Neil walked in while she was preparing the omelet. He set the table, sliced the hot French loaves, placed butter and cheese, mustard and pepper, on the table, then served the tomatoes and baked beans. Rhia delicately divided the mushroom omelet in two pieces, placing the bigger slice in Neil's plate.

Neil opened the fridge, pulled out salami, black olives, pickled onions and put them on the table. It was their kingly feast. They devoured the breakfast, speaking only about mundane things. This weird breakfast was their favorite meal

"Would you like anything else to eat?" Rhia asked when they had cleaned their plates.

Neil rubbed his stomach and groaned. "I could not eat another bite. How about you?"

"I've had enough. I will quit before I overeat."

Neil stretched. "How about going for a walk?"

Rhia thought about it. Since it was a weekday, the children would not drop in. "Yes, a walk sounds nice. I'll just clear the table and place the dishes in the dishwasher."

Neil got up to help. In a few minutes they had the dishes loaded. They donned sunhats, kicked off their shoes then headed for the beach. They lazily strolled along the beach, their bare feet squished in the sand as waves lapped at their ankles, soaking the hems of their pants. Neither bothered to roll them up.

Neil reached for Rhia's hand. She took it, tightening her fingers around his. They walked in a comfortable silence, listening to the gently swishing of the waves. It was almost a kilometre later before they turned back. About halfway back, they found a grove of trees and sat down. Rhia sat on a low bench, Neil sat at her feet. They removed their hats, allowing the cool shade to refresh them. Rhia shifted till Neil sat directly in front of her then rested her chin on top of his head. She noticed his hair had thinned in that spot. A soft breeze blew in from the ocean, gently teasing the hair around Rhia's face.

"Neil?"

"Umm."

"Neil, may I say something? May I ask you something?"

Neil's heartbeat accelerated. The day of reckoning had come, at last. "Yes."

"Why?"

Neil knew what she was asking. She wanted to know why he'd had the affair. He wasn't sure how to answer her, or what her reaction would be. But he would be as honest as he could. He took a deep breath. "I have asked myself this many times, Rhia. I still don't know why. A moment of madness...arrogance, I don't know. The rush one gets when he does a wrong thing and gets away with it. It became an unreal world. I lost my way among the awards, projects, accolades and praises. I thought I was invincible. Wherever I went, I was treated like God."

"And at home was it not like that, Neil? I worshiped you; the kids were crazy about you. Ok, I was not demonstrative all the time. With work, running the house, looking after the kids...I did not have the time or energy to shower you with awards and decorations." Rhia spoke passionately to the crown of his head. "But you were our God; you were _mine._ "

Neil gulped, "I know, Rhia.... During that time, I lived in a bubble. It's hard to explain. I could see you, yet not feel. It was like I was anesthetized. I could see you were in pain, yet I felt...detached. I had become a monster, my love. All that mattered to me was the next big project."

Neil threw himself in dangerous waters. "Cindy was a mistake I bitterly regret. It was just once, Rhia, I swear."

Rhia's chin slid down the back of his head till her forehead rested on the balding spot. "Did you talk to her about us? Did you reveal things about our relationship?" Rhia whispered.

"No!" _How could she think such a thing?_

"Was she better than me?"

Years of reading Rhia's last entry in her diary prepared Neil for these questions; still answering them was more painful. Oh, _so_ painful!

"No, Rhia. What we had, what we _have..._ is divine. What we have is _forever_. Nothing...no one can compare to you. You still arouse me, awake or asleep. You look at me and I feel the heat. No woman has ever made me feel as you do. No woman has taken me to such peaks as you have. No one has ever loved me as you have loved. Neither have I loved anyone as I love you." Neil took a deep breath, "It was not your fault, not the children's' fault. It was all mine."

"If I had betrayed you, what would you have done?"

He exhaled, "I would have killed you. And killed myself."

"Then I will kill you and myself, too." Rhia said moving her forehead from his head.

Stunned, Neil froze. Had she slipped poison into their food? He waited for her to speak.

"I kill the man who betrayed me, the man who hurt me—the man who broke my heart and faith. I will burn him and I release his ashes to the wind and sea," Rhia intoned.

Neil sat immobile, paralyzed.

"I kill myself, the person who could not forgive. Who could not—nor would not, live. I erase that person completely. I will burn her and I release her ashes to the wind," she continued.

He still did not move. What was she saying? Had she finally lost it?

"Neil...will you marry me?"

Neil turned his head to face her. The woman was crazy. "Yes," was all he could say. Rhia raised her chin and asserted, "I want wedding attire, a wedding. And a honeymoon."

Neil shifted till he knelt in front of her, staring up at her in wonderment, "Whatever you wish, my Heart. Where would you like to honeymoon?"

"Greece and Italy."

"So be it."

They looked at each other, tears of joy, of repentance, of relief—threatening to fall off the edges of their eyes.

Neil buried his head in her chest. She heard his muffled, "Thank you."

She held him tight and whispered back, "Thank you."

# Epilogue

### A Life Of No Return?

Rhia and Neil did not remain chaste till their 'third' wedding. They made love as often as physically possible, or just lazed around in one another's' company. Their children started calling them Siamese twins as they appeared to be welded at the hip. When they heard the description, they chuckled. In fact, they were welded and how well they were welded! Rhia moved into Neil's home. Their home from now on. They liked living next to the sea. Rhia's vacant home became the territory of the Gks. Their main home in town was closed. Rhia did not want to go back in the past anymore. She was starting a new life.

Neil asked Reet to join his company. It was difficult to wrest her away from her beloved job. But, as she was one of the heirs, it made perfect sense that she join in and take over her share of the business.

Roy was roped in as well. He started coming in once a week to see "what a mess" his sister was creating. Neil kept overall control and the final veto, but his plan was to dedicate the rest of his life to pleasing his wife and himself.

The wedding day dawned bright and clear. The venue was the beach where the sun provided the perfect lighting. The sea, the music, and the wind blessed them all. Rhia was surrounded with all the people she loved. The guests were their children, grandchildren, Zoya and Raoul. Ray and his wife, Sheetal, came down, too, with their family.

Rhia, dressed as a lovely bride floated around, looking beautiful in a gorgeous traditional dress, chosen with care and love by her daughter and daughter-in-law. A handsome, debonair Neil strode onto the scene in his wedding suit which "his Boys" had bought for him.

All guests signed in as witnesses, on a special page Neil attached as the first page of their new photo album. Many pages had already been added to the album, and he determined to take many more pictures of his wife, of them together, and of the family. Rhia wanted to visit Italy and Greece but she was impulsive. Her adventurous spirit was fully charged up and she could change the plans—he didn't mind. He was mentally plotting adventures for just the two of them. They were a river, joined, and they could flow together wherever they wished.

Rhia was content with her life, settling in and surrounding herself with those she loved. Her world included her man, her children, her grandchildren, her siblings and their families. Zoya, Raoul, Ray and Sheetal were her umbrella, still protecting her from the harsh realities. But it would not be for long. They felt Rhia was strong enough to know certain truths. The time to tell her would come soon.

Rhia had her life back, her husband back—the only man she had ever loved—and she'd be damned if she let him get away. She glanced at Zoya, grateful to have a wise sister who had been instrumental in binding her family together instead of allowing her to walk out on her problems. Without Zoya's blunt and honest words, she might still be drowning in a stupor of indecision. Her sister's straightforward act forced Rhia to face reality.

Neil looked at his family gathered around him. His gaze flitted past his children, and rested on his grandchildren. In the excitement of romancing their grandmother, he had neglected them of late. Not that they seemed to notice. Rhia, a bundle of energy, related to them on their level. He sighed. This was his harvest, the seeds he had planted, and he was proud of his crop. He had weeded out as much wild grass as possible, beginning with himself.

Finally, his eyes came to rest on Rhia, the love of his life. Caressing her with his eyes, he felt a lump form in his throat. She caught his eyes and smiled back. When he slowly closed his eyes and opened them to look at her again, the color rose in her cheeks. It thrilled Neil to know he still could turn her on and please her. His Rhia—the missing part from his life was back. Neil said a silent prayer of gratitude, thankful for his family, for Zoya and Raoul, who had been his rock, for Ray, who had finally forgiven him, and for Rhia, his life.

Their two children and their spouses scattered to lay the table for the feast. When the priest arrived, the grandchildren led him to his appropriated spot. At the appointed time, it was announced for the bride and groom to stand before the priest to reaffirm their wedding vows. Both bride and groom repeated the vows with fervor and from the heart. It was a poignant ceremony, solemn, deep and emotional. The adults of the family were moved to see Neil and Rhia reunited. They knew how hard it had been for all of them. Finally, happier days were here.

Neil and Rhia's grandchildren found it strange at first. Their already-married grandparents were getting married again. How weird was that? However, they were soon caught up in the fun and excitement of the preparations. How many kids could boast they were witnesses at their grandparents' wedding?

Neil and Rhia joined hands with a strong grasp that promised to never let one another go. They had lost each other once; it would not happen again. With their family members as the greatest witnesses, Neil and Rhia were joined again, as husband and wife.

Rhia had her life back, a happy and exciting one with a devoted husband forged by steel. Her family tree had matured, heavily laden with flowers and fruits; a beautiful tree where she saw her children happily sitting on the branches, and the grandchildren jumping on the boughs while Neil supported them all with his strength and love. Neil was her life. _Her life_. It was that simple.

Grateful they were reunited, Rhia closed her eyes, to silently give thanks for a second chance at a life with Neil and ask for many more happy years together.

She turned to face the man she loved, gazed into his moist eyes. Neil's was the last face she had seen before she was swept into the coma, and she wanted his to be the last face she saw before she passed from this world. He was back. He had returned back to her as she had returned back to him.

