[siren wailing in distance]
- How's that job coming along?
- Ma, oh, my God.
I'm so grateful for that job,
baby.
That's to have something to do
more so, I think,
'cause at first I was kind of
getting discouraged
a little bit more
of not knowing, I'm saying,
I wasn't able to kind of
get a job
due to the fact
of my background, so...
It's like beauty supplies.
- Oh, that's good.
Yeah, you good at that.
- Ooh, whee.
Look, Eisha.
Achievement letter.
- Clean my teeth.
I know, I saw it.
- You know what,
when she was little,
she had a lot of feminine ways.
How many times I had to run
to her rescue
'cause people want to mess with
her 'cause of how she is.
- The area that we was in, it
was a very rough neighborhood.
- Yeah.
- So we had a lot of boys
that was very biased
to the fact of any gay,
open people that was out there,
so at the time it was very--
- It was wicked at that time.
- Yeah, I felt as though, what
I was gonna go, I was gonna do,
despite who felt whatever they
was gonna say about me
or how they act about me or
whatever's gonna do to me,
I did it, you know, off of
the strength of whatever
the consequences that
come along the way,
so I think that that's what
really what it was;
it was some boys that felt
as though they was gonna
say some things that
[inaudible] me
and feel that though they gonna
treat me the way
they want to treat me,
and I went off.
- Oh, what about the time
that guy was kicking on
your mama door,
when I was there with y'all?
- Ooh, my God.
That situation, it was
very, very, very, very intense.
- Who you telling?
I had to back him down.
I was so scared. That man was
kicking on that door.
He was like, "I'm looking for
a girl named Eisha,
whoever she is,
tell her to come out."
Oh, she ain't coming up
outta here.
Now, if you want, you gonna
have to go through me.
He looked at me up and down,
seen I had my butcher knife
and I was standing there like--
I was scared though,
but I ain't let him know
I was scared.
[laughs]
Okay, you got to live in
your own truth.
You never worry about what
somebody saying about you.
- And that's crazy that you say
that right here,
that never be worried about
what people say about you.
I had to learn that concept
of...
- We all did.
- Being concerned about--
- We all did.
- Especially in this lifestyle.
That's why I was in a lot of
situations I was in,
I'm saying, 'cause I was
looking at it as
how people thought of me,
what they said about me.
- You made a big growth,
though.
'Cause I remember the times
when you be ready
to get down immediately.
Like, Eisha, when you get
comfortable with yourself,
baby, can't nobody say nothing.
Can't they touch you with
a ten-feet pole.
That shit would bounce off
your fucking chest.
It won't bother you.
'Cause people gonna talk.
That's what people do.
You can't stop people from
saying it out they mouth.
- Mm-hmm.
- You can't control that.
[ambient music]
- It started when I was young.
In school I was picked with,
teased.
I just...
Didn't want to go.
And sometimes I just didn't
want to go
'cause I knew what I had
to deal with going.
Everyone kind of always thought
it's just only a phase.
I felt that this wasn't
a phase;
this is who I was;
this was my truth.
In high school,
there was a teacher
that I got into it with.
She used to kind of make me
feel like what I was doing
was wrong.
She basically expelled me.
I ran across some girls and
saying they kind of engaged
in exchanging money for sex,
and we kind of, like, did it
periodically,
you know, to get by because,
you know, we didn't come
from a silver spoon, you know.
We came from kind of like
trying to, you know, survive.
I was out on the strip,
and a situation occurred
with me and this young man.
It was basically discrimination
that kind of escalated to him
striking me in my face.
It escalated from one thing
to another,
and it basically led me
to lose my freedom.
I was incarcerated
for four years,
without a trial.
Hi.
- [laughs]
Hey, Ms. Love.
- How are you?
- Good, how are you?
- I'm doing pretty good.
- I am digging the hat.
- Thank you.
[laughter]
- So what have you been up to?
- Um...
- Where you staying now?
- Um, right now I'm actually
in the area
that you may not feel
comfortable with me.
- Why are you out there?
- Um, as of right now,
because of, like, my mom,
like, she doesn't stay with us
right now,
so I kind of take on
responsibility
as a big sister/mama role,
which is a good thing,
but sometimes it kind of be
overwhelming,
because, you know, bills
and, you know--
it's just a lot of
responsibilities.
I'm not eligible just to
kind of go and apply
for an apartment, being as
though that I have a felony
on my background.
This was the letter that came
in the mail.
It was from Amazon.
And they had kind of told me,
like, my background history
kind of, like, gave me
a background check
of, like, all the current
or any, like, cases
that I had had, but that was
the reason why I guess
that I was kind of
disqualified for the job.
And it kind of put me in
a standstill again.
I can recall that you said that
if you had a felony
or anything like that, we can
kind of go into the scene
that if we can kind of get it
not expelled
but kind of sealed...
- All right, so I think what
you've got here is
an assortment of obstacles.
- Mm-hmm.
- And we can't get rid of
all of 'em.
But what you can get rid of
is some of them
that'll make the one remaining
obstacle a little bit
more dealable by the time
you get to an employer.
And when you turn this in,
they're always going to find
that felony, so but
what you can do
is when you go in and turn
the application in,
you can say, "You know what,
I have a felony conviction
for aggravated battery," and
they'll probably look away,
"And that sounds like
a really bad thing.
I'd like to talk to somebody
about it
and explain it to 'em."
- Mm-hmm.
- Take a little ownership
of that, because it is not
gonna go away ever.
And explain to them that
this is not something
where I was walking down
the street
and decided to jump
on somebody.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is a situation,
and you go into the whole
story
about what the situation was.
Let me ask you one other
question.
Have you given any thought...
[ambient music]
[door clicks opens]
- [sighs]
Ooh.
- Hey, girl.
- Hey, son.
It's freezing out there.
- I already know.
Come on, Ms. Eisha Love
is in the building.
So what you been on?
What you been doing?
- Um...
- How's your day been going?
- Really just trying to stay
focused on this book
that I'm preparing.
- Okay, so how is that going?
- Um, it's going pretty well.
Just a little difficult
sometimes.
I just hate reliving the story,
like, you keep reliving it
and, I'm saying,
kind of, like, going over it.
- It brings you back to the
emotions that you had
when it first happened...
- Yeah.
- And everything like that.
- It definitely do.
- I mean, you a strong person,
so I know it's gonna be okay.
- I just think it's kind of--
it's like being just--
keeping hope alive.
- Mm-hmm.
- And, you know, sometimes,
you know, it's hard
to kind of do that.
- And then being in the
lifestyle that we are in,
you know, nowadays, you know,
it's slowly but surely
being accepted
and everything like that,
but you still have your flaws
in it, so...
You know, you definitely
gotta be ready for that.
But I see you--
you've been working
at the beauty supply store,
right?
'Cause I know you been wanting
to do that for a while
for getting to it, 'cause it's
in the area that you like.
- Well, I've been wanting a job
for a long period of time.
I definitely been wanting
a job;
let's put more emphasis
on that.
- Right, the job.
- But, um, I got something
the feel that I feel like
that was more comfortable
for me--
- Mm-hmm, that you can
relate to.
- And I feel comfortable doing.
You been to the Mini Ball
before?
Have you ever been to one?
- You should go with us
tonight.
- You should.
- You sit around and watch
a performance, basically.
- Oh, where they...
- Yeah.
- They vogue.
She said they do this.
[laughter]
- That is called voguing.
- That's called voguing.
- Get it right.
- He looking--
Darian finna go ballistic,
though. Get it right.
- Hey, honey.
- What's going on, y'all?
- How you doing?
- It's raining and snowing
out there.
- I already told you
it's snowing.
- It's big snow pieces.
- I told you.
Hi.
[smooches]
What's going on, honey?
- I deserve a vacation.
- Oh, yeah?
- Don't you feel like
you deserve a vacation?
- Right now?
- Even if it's for, like,
a couple of days, like, you
know, two days, three days.
I'm gone.
And if I like it,
I'll be gone all year.
I want to go somewhere else.
It's a big world out there.
I don't want to be here
anymore.
I don't want to become
a casualty.
- To what? Violence?
- Yep.
- When you bring it to
my attention
that people saying that they
came to my court appearance,
saying that, oh, they're gonna
do this to me
and do that to me,
I was kind of nervous
and fearing for my life.
I kind of felt less safe being
behind bars, I'm saying,
but what about my family,
you know, still?
You know?
- We had your back out here,
though, Eisha.
We had your back out here 100%.
It wasn't like, "Oh,
you see what she did?"
It was like, "Man, you heard
about that shit?
That shit was fucked up.
And I would've did it too."
- How do y'all feel, I'm
saying, like, just you being
out and you just seeing a lot
of the girls, I'm saying,
just, like, you hearing
'cause I was incarcerated,
a lot of girls
that was kind of like
getting killed on the stroll
and, you know, being in the
area that that was a place
that you worked at on Madison
not too far from that, I'm
saying, how did you take that?
Like, you know?
'Cause I was in jail kind of
shocked, I'm saying,
not knowing, I'm saying, okay--
- It was crazy 'cause some of
them was my friends.
Like, Paige was just over
at our house.
She was asking me
to color her hair.
And she looked so cute
that day,
you know what I'm saying,
at the end.
You know, she got murdered
right behind my house.
Then it was just like a slew
of, like, murders
going on with the transgender
community around that time.
- Yeah, I ain't gonna lie,
your situation
definitely opened my eyes up
to, like, a lot of stuff
that was going on.
And you know the news,
they just made it seem like
it was just another trans life
gone.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
They kept--they made it seem
as though...
[ambient music]
- At least go to the room
where there's some heat.
- You have to know
the situations
you're getting into,
and I've been in those
situations
where you know when you think
back, like, damn,
I was too thirsty.
I let my guard down
just a little bit.
And then you get into those
situations
where you have to go into
attack mode.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's not the girls' fault.
These guys really are
mentally challenged.
And it's so crazy
how they can tick
and they switch and they make
you have to go crazy.
I've been sexually assaulted
in my own home.
- I went through a situation
of being on the West Side,
I'm saying that's where I'm
from, the hood, K-Town--
you know, hood girl--
doing what normally girls do
to make the ends meet.
But--[laughs]
I was on the West Side
and I had got into it
with a young man,
I'm saying, you know,
that was outside, you know,
that kind of, like,
didn't like trans girls
and saying--
you know how they run
their mouth.
They just feel threatened just
on our presence sometime,
and you be like,
I ain't do nothing.
They just want to engage and
just going back and forth.
"You faggot," this, that.
But I think it's more so
they lack of insecurity,
because we--I should--
- They don't understand
themselves.
- Whenever I come around,
I shouldn't threaten your...
- Security.
- Sexuality.
[overlapping chatter]
- You know somebody
for so long...
- Before you have to
take on 'em.
- So that's what transpired
with me.
I basically went into
ballistic mode,
got in my vehicle, honey,
and yes, girl, I literally
tried to kill him with my car.
I didn't intend to do it, but--
- But you gotta understand,
though, in the moment,
it's you or them, exactly.
- And that's what I'm saying.
There's plenty of girls
[inaudible]--
- Period, because they didn't
get in that mode. Yep.
- But it's kinda fucked up
when you out here
you got to protect yourself
and the system not gonna
be on your side, especially
when you in the right.
- True.
- Exactly.
- That's true.
- I have a homegirl from
Minnesota,
I don't know if you know her.
Laverne Cox did her story on
MSNBC.
- My niece.
- That's real.
- There's actually
similarities.
- That's real, and if she
hadn't fought for her life,
she'd be dead.
- I felt and I believe that
I did what was right
and nothing I did was wrong.
- And then to come out
without any assistance
from the government in helping
you be rehabilitated.
And I'm not speaking that on no
"give me reparations,
my 40 acres and a mule."
Give me what's the investment
that we done put in
this country, on many levels,
and I'm not just talking
about racially.
I'm talking about from
the bottom up.
Period.
- I agree.
- It's cold now, girl.
You want to go in?
- Oh, yeah.
[laughter]
- It's a wrap!
[lively music]
[indistinct singing]
- Let's go!
[indistinct singing]
[all cheer]
[ambient music]
