 
# Removed

### The Nogiku Series, #1

## S. J. Pajonas

#### Onigiri Press
© 2013, S. J. Pajonas (Stephanie J. Pajonas). All rights reserved.

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Cover design be Najla Qamber Designs.

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Created with Vellum
This book is dedicated to all those affected by

the 2011 earthquake off the Pacific coast of Tōhoku, Japan.

My love to you all.

### Contents

About REMOVED

Newsletter

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Thank You!

Don't Miss RELEASED!

Additional Material

Acknowledgments

Also in the Nogiku Series

Also by S. J. Pajonas

About the Author

# About REMOVED

**Can she piece together the truth before Earth's last city tears itself apart?**

It's easy for Sanaa to ignore the first signs of trouble. After all, she's living her dream with a job and life she loves. But when she's reassigned as a data analyst for a mysterious, well-connected man, she starts to piece together the alarming reality. Corrupt clans vie for control of the city, desperate for a ticket off the dying planet.

As war looms between the clans, Sanaa's new boss sends her to train with Jiro, an expert swordsman. Forbidden to share the dangerous secrets she's learned with her family, she confides in Jiro, bringing them closer with every word, strike, and parry. Together, they realize that Sanaa's boss is keeping secrets of his own.

When the truth comes to light, the war and Sanaa's world could be changed forever. To save her family and forge a new peace for her city, Sanaa has no choice but to risk her life for the human race.

_Removed_ is the first installment in the Nogiku Series, a saga of post-apocalyptic sci-fi romance novels set in future Japan. If you like tenacious heroines, sizzling chemistry, and unique post-apoc settings, then you'll love S. J. Pajonas' dystopian adventure.

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THE NOGIKU SERIES GUIDEBOOK is a newsletter exclusive ebook full of fun articles on Japan and Japanese culture, deleted scenes from both RELEASED and REUNITED, Q&As on The Nogiku Series, writing, and S.J., and essays including _The Nogiku Series Astrology,_ _Why RELEASED is the most divisive book in the series_ , and more! Plus all newsletter subscribers have the chance to win other free books. Sign up today!

# Chapter One

It's New Year's Eve 3103 in Nishikyō, and I'm ready to celebrate my twentieth birthday with my two best friends. Well, almost my twentieth birthday. It's actually tomorrow, yet I always tend to think of New Year's Eve as my birthday because that's when I go out with Helena and Miko. This way we can eat, drink, and be merry as much as we want because everyone but essential services has tomorrow off from work. On the second of January, plans start back up in earnest. No more time off after this — there are too many things to get done before colonization begins next year.

People in my ward, Ku 9, have been prepping for New Year's Eve for the past week. Walking by the local Japanese restaurant the last two mornings on my way to work, I could hear the old men and women chattering away while pounding and making _mochi_ rice cakes _._ My aunts buy mochi from them and eat it on New Year's Day after going to the temple for our first visit of the year.

The streets are cleaner than they have been in months. In fact, I'm sure every apartment in the ward is completely clean. I know I wasn't the only one on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor this morning. At home, we divided up the work. Aunt Kimie cleaned the bedrooms, and Aunt Lomo got the bathroom. After I was finished, I ran into several neighbors in the alley outside while taking out the trash, and they were all sweaty and dirty, sleeves rolled up to their elbows. Some traditions just never die.

I take a shower, trying my best not to mess up the bathroom, and pick out my new favorite kimono to wear tonight. I bought this one a month ago with some extra money I had set aside. For having been passed down through so many consignment shops, the kimono is in excellent shape. I only had to repair a few ripped seams under the arms, and I consider that a blessing. The silk fabric is a lovely, bright amber with a darker burnt orange hashmark design that makes the freckles on my nose stand out.

I have to admit I'm quite attached to those freckles. They remind me of my mother. My mother was Japanese. From her I got my most favorite features including my straight black hair and the freckles. She also gave me her thin figure which I was fine with until two years ago. My Aunt Kimie says I look just like her. My father gave me his wit that always makes Aunt Lomo laugh, his English pale skin, rounder eyes, and the temper I have to keep in check at all times.

Once I've twisted my hair back in a knot, put on a little makeup from Aunt Lomo's beauty stash, and pulled on my white socks, Aunt Kimie comes into my room through the rice paper screen and helps me into my kimono.

"Ah, Sanaa-chan. Twenty. Where does the time go? You're so grown-up now."

She sniffs, and oh boy, she's stopping herself from crying again. I give her a quick hug.

"Don't cry, Aunt Kimie. You do this every year."

"Don't make fun of your aunt's New Year's Eve tradition, Sanaa-chan," Aunt Lomo calls from the other room, and we both laugh.

Aunt Kimie turns to my wall drawers and opens the top one she knows contains my _obi_ sashes. "Which one? The cream?"

"Yes, the cream." I love the cream colored obi with the fan design. This was also my mother's, one of the many things I inherited from my parents when they died. Aunt Kimie wraps the long, heavy silk around me and ties a drum bow in back before wrapping a silk cord around my waist. She hands me a fan I tuck in to the front, in case the evening gets hot.

Aunt Kimie smiles at me and sighs, giving my face a soft pat. "Have fun tonight. Be a good girl. Eat a lot of food and don't drink too much."

"Auntie," I say with a groan. "Aren't I always responsible?"

"Of course. Still. You know I always say it."

I purposely leave my everyday bag with my tablet in my room, grab my small, red purse, slip into my sandals at the door, and wave as I head out for the night.

"Don't wait up!"

The streets of Ku 9 are filled with people. This may be the Science and Engineering Ward but the local council always sponsors gatherings here for those who don't want to travel on New Year's Eve. The sidewalks are a colorful, moving wall of people in kimonos and other citizens in normal Nishikyō wear, the double-breasted gray tunic shirts over loose pants of the same material break up the assault of bright colors swirling around me. I edge past a young couple carrying a small boy who is dressed up in his own little kimono and _hakama,_ wide-legged pants (he is adorable) and head directly down into the transitway before I get sucked into people watching.

Ku 7, the Entertainment Ward where Miko's family _izakaya_ is located, is two wards away. It's not a long ride on the train, but so many people are heading to Ku 6, the Japanese Ward, that the cars are filled to the brim. I have to wait for two trains to go by and hope I can get on the next one.

Ugh, I'm going to be late. I hate being late.

I check the tunnel over and over until a train finally comes. Nishikyō Transitway Authority runs more trains this time of year but it's never enough. With the possibility of having to shuttle around over six million people on the biggest holiday of the year, you'd think they'd run the trains non-stop. Have they learned nothing in the past three hundred years? Apparently not because these big holiday delays happen again and again.

When I finally get on a train, it makes every stop between Ku 9, Ku 8 (the Extinction Ward where people in normal clothes get off the train to work), and then Ku 7 where I exit at the second stop and head straight for the izakaya.

Most days Izakaya Tanaka does normal business from 10:00am to 3:00am. It's a long day but izakaya staff and Nishikyō workers on multiple shifts enter and leave at all hours. Night and day have no meaning when the city needs regular maintenance. Even though the lights brighten and dim to maintain normal circadian rhythms, your night is someone else's day and vice versa. It's not like anyone sees regular sunlight anyway. The domes that protect us from the elements block out all light and most radiation.

Stepping up to the large picture window at the front of Izakaya Tanaka, I tap on the glass and wave my fingers at Helena who is standing right inside. She jumps up and down with a girlish scream, _sake_ sloshing out of the cup in her hand.

"Welcome!" All the staff shout at me as I walk through the door.

"Good evening _,_ " I say back as Helena jumps at me with a forceful hug.

"Happy birthday, Sanaa-chan!" Helena's face is bright and gleeful. She's probably been laughing and chatting up these people standing right by the door for some time. She's so outgoing and, gods, so tall! My neck hurts looking up at her sometimes, but I'm a measly 160 centimeters tall and she's at least 180 centimeters. Tonight she's twisted her long, blond, curly hair up and is wearing a bright pink kimono which suits her pale complexion nicely. Her cheeks are a little flushed, but that could be the sake too.

"Thanks, sweetie. You look gorgeous, as usual. Where's Miko?"

"Behind the bar with Sono. Where else? Anyway, you're late. I thought you'd be here by 7:30? I was ready to call in a search team." Helena knows how much I hate being late.

"Trains were packed, and Aunt Kimie was giving me the sad eyes as I was on my way out."

"She helped you get dressed? Your new kimono is lovely."

"Thanks," I say while smoothing out the front. The hurried walk from the train loosened up the obi a little. I hope the bow holds up all night. "Let's go talk to Miko. Maybe if we're loud enough the men sitting at the bar will leave."

The place is packed, and it's only 8:00pm, a long way to midnight. I think the staff is going to have to start queuing people up outside soon because they will overflow capacity at any moment. Looking over at the string of private rooms along the side wall, I can tell by the shadows on the rice paper screens they are all occupied. Usually Miko's parents open them up on New Year's Eve to accommodate more people, so the rooms won't be occupied for much longer.

We push our way through the crowd saying "excuse me" and smiling over and over again. Miko is barely visible over the top of the bar. She must be back there unloading multiple boxes of sake. They will need it tonight. Standing between two men, I lean as far over the bar as possible without letting my feet leave the ground.

"Miko-chan!" I yell while I reach out and tap her on the head.

She pops up with a big smile, her chin-length, straight black hair getting caught across her face in the movement.

"Sanaa-chan, _Otanjōbi omedetō!_ "

" _Arigatō_. Hey, where are your parents?"

Miko crouches back down and unloads the last of the sake from the boxes. She always works New Year's Eve until her mother relieves her at around 11:00, but Miko never tends bar. The legal drinking age, and age of adulthood, is twenty in Nishikyō, and she is more than able to tend since she turned twenty-one two months ago, but she has a heavy hand and has declared herself "terrible at it." They leave the bar to Sono.

"Mother is at home. She was cleaning today, of course, and she knocked into something under the sink and water went everywhere. You can only imagine how that made her feel on New Year's Eve."

Yes, indeed. Miko's mother is a real worrywart. Miko rolls her eyes at me, and I smile. We're all pretty immune to Mrs. Tanaka's constant nagging at Miko — first, when she was in school, to get good grades, and now, to find a nice boy before she dies an old maid. Miko recently had her hair cut to a short chin bob with a fierce line of bangs across her face, and the change from long hair to short nearly sent her mother into a fit. That's probably why Miko did it, though.

"Anyway," Miko continues after she hands off bottles to Sono, "so she's back at the apartment with maintenance and will be here later to relieve me of my hostess duties. My father is in there..." She points to the nearest private room. "With two men I've never seen before and two cute brothers around our age." Her face lightens up, a twinkle in her eye. Miko is a serial dater. I think she's had at least twelve boyfriends already. Twelve boyfriends she never introduced to her parents hence her mother's "old maid" worries. Amazingly enough, she is unattached right now. (Those boyfriends don't last long.) "It's New Year's Eve. Let's get ourselves some boys."

I can almost imagine Miko rubbing her hands together and plotting ways to interfere on this meeting, and I'm inclined to let her. I haven't had a steady boyfriend in two years and little opportunity to date since I started working full-time. My work friend, Chad, and I meet up at a love hotel once a month or so for drinking and just sex, but it's not the same as really dating. Watching Miko go out and have a good time makes me realize what I'm missing out on. A New Year's Eve boy would be fun and exciting. Fun and exciting is what I want this year.

"Miko, you're ruthless! What about me?" Helena pouts and drops her head.

"We'll find someone for you, too. It's a magical night. Anything can happen." She wipes her hands off on a bar towel and smooths out her kimono. She's wearing her favorite jade green kimono tonight, but her purple and gray obi is new, a birthday gift from her father. Mr. Tanaka spoils her, and she takes full advantage of it. They're a tight family. Miko's taking over Izakaya Tanaka before her family leaves for Yūsei, our colonization planet, and will hopefully open a similar place on our new home world if they can get the permit. They've been working on the negotiations for years.

"Let me come around the bar and get a good look at you. You're wearing your new kimono." She scans me from top to toes before giving me a hug. "I love it. Orange is the perfect color for you." Even Miko towers over me though she's only about 10 centimeters taller. I feel small when I'm not sitting down next to them. "Helena's already been here an hour, and, as soon as these two men clear out from the end of the bar, those seats are yours." Miko turns and eyes the men sitting right behind us, and they laugh at her.

"Okay, okay, Miko-chan. We have a party to go to anyway." They get up to leave, smiling sweetly at her. Bet they were thinking they would try to make Miko their New Year's Eve date.

As Helena and I take our seats with Miko at our back, the private room behind us opens up, and we turn to look. Mr. Tanaka emerges in his traditional gray kimono and black hakama, wide-legged pants with two men in their mid-forties right behind him. Both are wearing black kimono with family crests on them and black hakama pants but one has longer, graying hair tied back in a ponytail, and the other's hair is short, cropped and gray, and he has a distinct scar on his chin.

Mr. Tanaka bows to them, and they bow back. Behind these two men are the brothers our age Miko referred to earlier. The older one is around twenty-four or twenty-five and his brother a few years younger. Yes, Miko, they are definitely cute but the younger one is more my type. He is seriously handsome with longer, floppier hair than his older brother, a strong chin, and what looks like a white streak in his hair just over his ear. He reaches up and tucks his hair back before turning and spying the three girls staring from the bar.

"What did I tell you?" Miko whispers. "The older one's mine." A slow, seductive smile comes over her face, and I do my very best not to roll my eyes. Miko has her sights set on him. He's done for.

But I'm watching the younger brother. Yes, just my type, I can tell already. Strong and confident in the way he holds himself. I love longer hair on men, and that black kimono. Sigh. I love men in kimono. His eyes are on me and now that we're staring at each other, my breath is slowing, slowing, slowing down until I'm holding it and not breathing at all. I don't blink. I don't move. I am completely entranced.

"It's a good thing neither of these two are my type," Helena whispers at me, but I barely hear her. The younger one has turned from me at the behest of one of the other men, the two brothers bow to Miko's father, and turn to exit the izakaya through the back door. No! Wait!

No, wait. He's looking at me again before he goes. Did I say that out loud? I don't know. Smile, Sanaa.

I smile, trying not to be too eager nor too subtle. I'm usually at one end of the spectrum or the other and know nothing of moderation. Moderation? What's that? No clue.

A smile brightens his face for a moment, but he's gone. They're all gone.

"Whaaaa... Who are they?" I ask Miko. I must know. Those few moments made me unable to speak properly.

Miko shakes her head. "I have no idea but I'm going to find out."

I stare after Miko as she follows her father to the back office. She won't be gone long. The place is too packed with people to neglect the staff on a busy night like this.

"Sanaa-chan?" Helena snaps her fingers in front of me. "Wow, look at the spell that came over you."

Heat rises to my face, and I wish the izakaya was a little cooler. Reaching into my obi, I pull out the fan I placed in the folds after Aunt Kimie wrapped me up, open it, and fan myself until I feel calmer. His face is now permanently burned into my memory.

"Sake and food would be good about now," I say as I motion to Sono. Sono's been working at the izakaya for the past eight years. He's a sweet man, close to sixty years old, who refuses to stop working. And why would he when he has the best memory for faces and what they like to drink?

"Happy birthday," he says as he leans forward and gives me a peck on the cheek. "Tofu teriyaki, rice, and _daiginjo_ sake?" Sono always suggests I drink the highest grade sake on my birthday, and I have for the past two years. I shouldn't have been drinking illegally, but I love sake. Aunt Kimie and Mrs. Tanaka came to an agreement that I could drink at the izakaya as long as I never got sick drunk. I kept a strict eye on how much I consumed so I wouldn't have the privilege taken away. Now I'm an adult.

"Of course." I tap on the bar and indicate to Sono the food should be hastened. I need a distraction from the handsome one I had a mental affair with in the span of ten seconds.

"Same for me, Sono," Helena says and then lowers her voice to whisper, "bring the sake first. I think Sanaa may need it."

Without moving left or right, he reaches down into the bar back and puts two small cups on the counter and a whole chilled bottle of sake between them. That man is always prepared. " _Kanpai_ , ladies."

Helena pours sake for us both and lifts her glass. I match mine to hers. "Happy Birthday and Happy New Year."

"You, too, Helena."

"Kanpai!" We clink glasses and drink. Delicious.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so distracted by a guy before. Not even Chad."

I blink and try to pull myself out of my head. "Well, Chad's just my work friend. We're not dating." Helena raises her eyebrows at me, and I burst into a laugh before taking another sip. "I don't consider sex once a month dating, especially since I have no feelings for him... at all. And I could never date someone I worked with again. Remember Joshua? What a mess that was. Anyway, Chad and I are not even remotely compatible."

I have only ever been seriously interested in one guy before tonight (Chad doesn't count). Joshua, another guy I was head-over-heels in love with when I first started working, was a six month trial of patience. He had two distinct personalities: eager to get into my kimono or barely knew I existed. He'd take me out to the movies, to the love hotel where he'd be so eager for sex he wouldn't even take my clothes off, and then the next day, wouldn't acknowledge my presence. It was maddening. I would think I was being used for sex then he would declare he loved me in front of our friends. Two days later, he'd blow me off. Finally, I told Joshua to go to hell, and he started dating someone new the very next day. What an asshole.

I tap my foot, nervous energy bubbling over down my arms and legs, straight to my hands and feet. When is Miko coming back?

Helena eyes me, and, as she's about to needle me more, Miko returns to us.

"It's as I suspected," she says, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes. "A few weeks ago, my parents were talking about getting an _omiai_ involved in my love life."

"What?" Helena and I both say at the same time. Why would Miko need a matchmaker?

"Yeah. You know mother and her crazy idea I'm going to die an old maid. Well, I said, 'Fine, yes, hire the damned omiai and we'll see where it gets us.' That," she points to the empty room, "is where it gets us."

"Really? They're arranging a marriage for you?" Helena pales, her eyes wide.

"No, no. Just some dates, but..." She stops and thinks for a second with a faraway look in her eye. "He is kind of cute, ne? And from an influential family. Hmmm."

The wheels turn in Miko's head. Influence is good when you run a place like Izakaya Tanaka. She may have better luck getting the permit they need for colonization with help from his influential family.

"What about the brother?" I ask, and I hope I don't sound desperate at all because, boy, do I suddenly feel desperate. I should have gotten up and talked to him, or something! Anything. But the moment was over so quick.

Miko smiles at me. She's been trying to set me up on blind dates for a year now. She keeps thinking I'm stuck on Chad, which I'm not. I just don't want to hurt his feelings. Miko is remarkably good at reading minds.

"The older one is Yoichi. He's twenty-four. The younger one is Jiro. He's twenty-two."

Jiro.

Now I have a name.

"My father suggested they come back after midnight so I can meet him. 'Firsts of the New Year' and all that. I never knew my father was such a sap." But by the way her shoulders melt and her breath puffs out, I can tell she knew this already. She only needs to think about how her father has always doted on her.

"Firsts of the New Year" are all of the traditions we do on New Year's Day to make the year go smoothly. I may not have grown up in Ku 6, the Japanese Ward where the majority of Japanese in Nishikyō live, but my aunts have kept some of these rituals alive in our home. Like the extensive cleaning we do before New Year's Eve and our first temple visit tomorrow, we have also put much stock in the other New Year's traditions. Each year we eat our first dinner together on New Year's Day, and I sit down to write the first letter of the year to each of my aunts on my beloved rice paper stationery. I wrote them my first letter when I was almost five and it was mostly scribbles, but I know Aunt Kimie and Lomo have kept every single one of them hidden away in their drawers as if they were sacred poetry.

So it's possible I may see Jiro again after midnight. I will have to keep my cool until then.

Miko goes back to work checking on the last occupied private room. After a minute of silent sake drinking, Sono arrives with our food. The kitchen staff is fast tonight.

While we make our way through our tofu and rice, Helena and I talk about work. As kids, we both enrolled in the city fast-tracking education so we could earn more as young adults and enter the work force early. She was originally going to be a doctor but she faints at the sight of blood, so she chose massage therapy. I chose to be an engineer like my father. My mother, a chemist, was also intelligent like my father. They died in an explosion before I turned two, a completely freak accident.

"I haven't seen you around the past two weeks, and it's winter break for most of us," Helena says pushing her plate aside.

"I volunteered to cover other people's shifts. You know my aunts don't do anything for Christmas anymore."

" _I_ would have liked to see you."

Helena's parents are such a mystery to me. She still lives at home because they are never around, very much in their own world. Helena spends a lot of time with Miko when I'm busy, and I wish I could be here at the izakaya more often.

"I know. I should have taken the day off anyway. Work was stupidly boring with no one around. I ended up babysitting some lab work on composite material while working on schematics." I fill up our cups again.

On the fast-track, I threw myself into my studies as hard as I could so I could get a job on the Colonization Committee, and I love it there. I may not have had the biggest social life on record but I'm pretty pleased with how well I did for myself. Since I'm settled in, I want something fun to happen this year now that I'm an adult. I have about an hour to think about what I'll wish for at midnight, but I think I'm going to wish for love this time instead of prosperity. Prosperity has gotten me pretty far already.

Our attention is brought to the door as the staff all shout "Welcome!" to Miko's mother. She enters the izakaya in a flash of dark red kimono, her short, graying hair perfectly swept back in a beautiful silver comb.

"Girls," she says, approaching us. "Otanjōbi omedetō, Sanaa-chan." Her birthday wish is punctuated by a quick kiss on the cheek. "You've grown up into such a fine, young woman. Kimie and Lomo must be very proud."

"Arigatō gozaimasu, Mrs. Tanaka." She has always insisted on us calling her and her husband, Mr. and Mrs. Tanaka, though I've tried to call her Tanaka-san on occasion. I think she likes the westernization a little bit more.

Miko comes out of the kitchen and bows slightly to her mother before they embrace in a small hug. Mrs. Tanaka is much more formal than Miko's father.

"Miko-chan, I'm here to relieve you early. The restaurant is not too busy. You should spend the time now with Sanaa and Helena."

Helena and I were so absorbed in our conversation we didn't realize the bar has quieted. This happens every year right before midnight. The majority of people eat and drink up and then head out to spend the last hour before the New Year at a temple or private party.

In long-standing tradition, Miko, Helena, and I will stay here till around 12:30 and then visit the little neighborhood shrine two blocks over before Helena and I head home for the night. Miko will stay behind and help with any stragglers until they close up at 3:00.

Instead of moving to a booth from the bar, we snag the last open private room, and Miko invites in the young guys who were at the bar to come sit with us. A few more girls show up from the shops down the street, and they join us too. But I park myself next to Helena, nod, smile, and do my best to make small talk because I am definitely not interested in any of these guys. I'm daydreaming and wondering where Jiro and the other men went to after they left the izakaya.

Helena catches sight of the clock on the wall, and one of the guys reaches into his bag, pulls out his tablet, and switches to the Nishikyō News Service. They are already streaming the midnight countdown from Ku 1. A huge crowd of people mill about the Administrative Ward's central plaza, decked out in every possible kind of party clothes, but mostly kimono since Nishikyō is seventy percent Japanese.

Only three minutes left in the year 3102. I've decided I've been prosperous enough. This year I will wish for love, and I'll make sure that I don't look at any of these guys when I do because, oh gods, not in a million years. I'm not kissing any of them when the clock strikes 12:00. No, thank you.

One minute left and Miko fills up cups around the table. Helena is tucking wayward strands of hair back into her twist. I am replaying those ten seconds of eye contact with the mysterious Jiro in my head again. Obsessing. I'm already obsessing over it.

Twenty seconds left in 3102. I'll be twenty years old. I can move out and get my own place soon, and in two years, I'll be on a ship and hibernating for the long voyage to Yūsei.

Five seconds left. Four, three, two, one.

"Happy New Year! _Akemashite omedetō!_ " We all clink glasses and drink. Miko, Helena, and I get involved in a three-way group hug that makes us laugh and laugh. I'm glad I didn't have to make eye contact with any of the guys at the table because I love these two the most.

"Wishes," Miko whispers at each of us.

We close our eyes, bow forward a little, and clap our hands in front of our face twice in a prayer position.

Please, gods, bring me love and happiness this year. Bring us all love, excitement, and happiness this year. Surely, we deserve it.

# Chapter Two

After we've gulped down our sake and eaten a little more rice, Helena, Miko, and I grab our purses and head out to the street. It's around 12:15am, and people are milling about either heading home or to another party.

In the old days before the last of humanity were all confined to the domes of Nishikyō, everyone would stay up until dawn and then drive to the nearest coast or outlook to watch the first sunrise of the year, but that tradition is long gone now. The lamps will come up like they do every morning mimicking the sunrise of where we all live now, an area in North America in what used to be called Canada. At this time of year, daybreak won't be until around 8:00am.

"I thought it was supposed to be cooler tonight," Helena says taking out her fan and creating her own personal breeze.

"Me, too. The forecast was a low of 7ºC tonight, and Nishikyō Dome Control were going to turn on the fans after midnight." It doesn't feel any cooler, though. Only about the same 21ºC Nishikyō always is in winter.

"Come on, girls. Let's hustle to the shrine and get our _omikuji._ My father wants me to get back to the izakaya quick so the cute boy can come back and woo me." She lets out a laugh that borders on evil. This Yoichi has his work cut out for him.

I'm so tired. After all the talking, eating, and drinking, I'm about an hour from falling asleep. I'm used to long days at work and early bedtimes. My routine is boring sometimes, but it's the way my life is right now. I guess I won't be seeing the younger brother, Jiro.

This neighborhood shrine, nestled in between two gift shops, is such a sweet little spot. I've often seen the owners of the shops sweeping the front steps or placing rice in cups inside as offerings. I think this space actually used to be an alley, but a long time ago, the neighborhood got together and built the shrine. The floors, walls, and vaulted roof are all dark, composite wood, and a small _tatami_ straw mat lies in front of the prayer area near the back. The doors are swung open, and, inside, a few people are getting their omikuji, little paper slips with fortunes on them, from the machine to the right of the door.

An old woman kneeling on the tatami claps and bows, making her New Year's wish before the images of the Shinto gods, the gods and spirits of nature we pray to and ask for guidance. Most of Earth may be dead but we still believe our gods are with us.

This place can only hold about ten people at a time, but over the next few hours, everyone who works or lives in the neighborhood will have stopped by, made their wishes and offerings, and received their omikuji. The wires set up right outside the shrine will be covered in little paper knots by the end of the week.

Miko, Helena, and I line up in front of the gods after the old lady has moved on and make our wishes again. I'm going to keep making the same wish when I visit the temple with Aunt Kimie and Lomo later on today. I will wish for love, happiness, and excitement a hundred million times if it will come true.

Miko is the first to finish and turn. "Oh, hello," she says. In the doorway are Yoichi, Jiro, and the man with the ponytail from earlier. My heart jumps. A lucky break!

"Your father said you might be here," the man says. I wonder who he is. He's not their father because they both resemble the other man who was with them earlier. He's watching me, though. Curious. I thought they were all here for Miko.

"Akemashite omedetō," Miko says, and we all repeat the new year's greeting after her, bowing at each other. "You're just in time. We were about to get our omikuji."

I smile at Miko's charming hospitality, but I direct myself at Jiro. Oh yes, the wish is already working because he's smiling back. I clasp my hands in front of me so they don't shake, but I refuse to break eye contact. I've never been shy, and I don't intend to start now when I'm sure I can make my wish come true if I try hard enough.

"We haven't all been properly introduced," the man says, cracking the smallest of smiles at us. He seems very stern. "I am Mark Sakai. This is Yoichi Itō and Jiro Itō." They each nod to us, Jiro never looking away. The New Year's Eve magic is working.

Miko clears her throat. Could she actually be a little nervous? That's not like her at all. "I'm Miko Tanaka, and these are my friends, Helena Tambor and Sanaa Griffin."

Now he knows my name.

Mark Sakai looks at Jiro and me watching each other, and I detect the smallest of sighs from him. Maybe he didn't intend on chaperoning kids looking for love tonight.

"Have you made your wishes yet?" I ask before the awkward silence swallows us all whole.

"No," Jiro says. "We just came from the _okiya_ to the izakaya to here."

"Well, you should now before the shrine gets crowded." I move off to the side pulling Helena with me. I don't want to break this contact I'm having with Jiro, but I want to be polite. First impressions are everything. "We'll get our omikuji and meet you outside."

I turn before the blush on my neck creeps up to my face. Helena, Miko, and I extract our omikuji wish papers from the machine, and, without reading mine, I walk out of the temple and back to the sidewalk. They came from an okiya? A party with geishas? I don't know anyone who regularly goes to any of the _okiya-ochaya_ in the city. Parties at an okiya are too expensive for most of us. On a night like New Year's Eve, a _geisha_ party must be triple the price.

"Ah, damn. I got a curse again this year." Without commenting on what the wish paper says, Helena takes her omikuji, folds and ties it to the wire next to the others. "When am I going to get good news on New Year's Eve?" She sighs, moving to the side to peer into the window of the gift shop as Sakai, Yoichi, and Jiro exit the shrine with their omikuji papers. Sakai glances at his, folds and ties it to the wire without a word. He takes a step back and blends into the background.

Yoichi steps up to Miko who has separated herself from us a bit, no doubt to flirt with Yoichi in private. They are both reading their papers and smiling and laughing.

Jiro takes his paper in two fingers and holds it up to me. "What do you think it says? A blessing or a curse?"

I close my eyes and think. "It's a blessing. I'm sure of it."

"What about yours?" He nods his head at the paper in my hand that I haven't looked at yet.

I open it up and smile. "It's a blessing! I haven't had one in years. Just a small one. _Tenkyo_." A blessing for moving residence. Could it be for Yūsei or for getting my own place? Either way, the wish is almost prophetic.

He opens his and smiles. "You were right. A blessing, too. Looks like I'm getting lucky this year." He turns the paper to me. _Renai_ : a blessing in romantic relationships. Damn, I should have gotten that one, but this might be a sign.

Folding the paper into quarters, he slips it into his kimono.

"Jiro, we have one more stop before the night is through," Sakai says behind us. He is watching us, and I get the feeling that he's interrupting on purpose.

With a low hum, a soft, cool breeze picks up down the street, and we each let out an audible sigh. I close my eyes and breathe in the sweet, dry wind of winter in the desert.

"Ah, that's nice _._ " Jiro takes a deep breath as well.

When I open my eyes, I see he closed his, too, and his face is peaceful. The fresh air makes everything new again.

"I love winter _,_ " I respond, ending a perfect moment.

Jiro opens his eyes and tucks his hair back behind his ears. My stomach is full of fluttery lightness, and I don't want him to go. Sakai's stern face says these plans are set in stone, though.

"Sanaa, have a happy new year." He steps back from me towards Sakai.

"Thank you. You as well." I manage to smile one more time before he walks off with Sakai. He is not the only one to turn and look at me as they go, though. Sakai also glances over his shoulder before they're around the corner and out of sight.

This was a great way to start my new year even if I never see him again. A night with my best friends and a chance encounter was what I needed to start this year off right. I back up to the sidewalk and grab Helena's arm. Yoichi and Miko are deep in conversation.

"Maybe we should leave these two alone?" I ask. Helena and I can walk to the train together even though we'll travel in different directions from there.

Miko turns and makes eye contact, smiling and nodding. Yes, she is fine where she is.

"Night, Miko! We'll talk tomorrow." Helena calls as we turn to go.

"Good night!" We all chime. The evening is over. The new year has begun.

My aunts let me sleep in on New Year's Day but when I'm still in bed at 11:00, Aunt Lomo comes in and shakes my shoulder until I'm awake.

"Happy Birthday! I've made you coffee. Time to get up and start the new year."

Doesn't she know I already started it last night? I peel myself from the bed slowly, take a shower and get dressed, then join them in the kitchen for Japanese breakfast: rice, seaweed, soy fish, and miso soup. And coffee. I'm the only one who drinks it.

"How was your night, Sanaa-chan? Did you have a good time?" Aunt Kimie blows on her mug of tea and, after a sip, stacks her plates on top of Aunt Lomo's. She's already dressed in her dark blue kimono for the day. Aunt Kimie was my mother's younger sister, and I hear from Aunt Lomo that they were very similar growing up. Aunt Kimie is small like me, and she always wears her hair up in a bun, though she doesn't have a strand of gray to be seen. I hope I'm so lucky when I get older. She's my gossip companion. I share all my secrets with her, and I think she's hoping for some details from last night.

"I had a fantastic time. We went to the shrine down the street afterward, and I finally got an omikuji blessing."

"Ah! You haven't had one in years."

"And then I came home. It was a typical New Year's Eve. Miko met a handsome boy, though. They were still talking when we left."

Aunt Kimie and Lomo smile at each other. They are both aware of Miko's dating practices.

"He had a younger brother I talked to for a moment but then he was on his way. Oh well." I take a sip of coffee and start to eat breakfast. "Anyway, we should get dressed and go to the temple before the crowds get too big, ne?"

Aunt Lomo stands and puts her dishes in the auto-washer. "I'm almost ready, but I need help with my kimono."

Aunt Lomo is so similar in build to Aunt Kimie and me, but she's the tallest of us. She wears her hair down to her shoulders with a little flip out, and twists it in her fingers when she's thinking. I've caught myself doing the same thing many times.

She grabs her hair pins off the table and heads to the bedroom with Aunt Kimie on her heels. These two are perfectly content with each other, and they've been married now for twenty years. I'm glad my parents chose them to be my caregivers before they died. My other side of the family won't even talk to me anymore. Aunt Sharon cut off communication years ago.

I could probably sit here and stare at my breakfast for hours while thinking about my family, but I know the temple will be crowded today, and we should get going. It's hard to believe another year has gone by without my mother and father. I wonder what they'd think of me now. Would they be proud? They've been gone so long, but I still miss them.

Aunt Lomo comes from the bedroom all dressed. "Your turn, Sanaa-chan. Eat up so we can go." I hurriedly put on a happy face. I don't want Aunt Lomo to worry.

When we get to the temple back in our old Ku 5 ward, the stone covered courtyard is packed wall-to-wall. We wait our turn with everyone else, make our wishes, and Aunt Kimie and Lomo both receive omikuji. I decide not to because I'm happy with the small blessing I got last night and don't want to ruin it. The whole trip takes a few hours. The trains are slow and packed, the streets filled with people, and, just for fun, we decide to walk down to our old neighborhood and visit the places we used to spend time in.

I'm glad the old _karate_ _dōjō_ where I first met Miko and Helena is still going strong. Even though it's New Year's Day, the _senseis_ have opened the place up and turned on all the lights so people can meet and hang out. I always loved this dōjō. It was a bright and happy spot in my otherwise sad childhood.

When we finally arrive back in Ku 9, we pick up our mochi from the local restaurant and head home to eat our New Year's Day dinner together. Aunt Lomo prepares roasted sweet potatoes with seaweed and sesame, vegetable dumplings, rice, mochi, and pulls out a bottle of white wine she must have picked up somewhere in Ku 4. That's the only place I've ever seen wine shops. I have a little taste; I'm much more partial to sake. To top off the meal, Aunt Kimie produces three oranges. I haven't had fresh fruit in weeks! We each sit and eat them in silence, savoring every bite.

I'm ready to call an end to the day early once dinner is over even though it's my birthday. Work starts again tomorrow, and I know things will be busy with everyone back in the office from the holiday. But I still have two last New Year's Day traditions to complete.

In my room, I slip out of my kimono into some loose pajamas and then pull my tablet from my bag. Without looking at any of my messages, I sit down at my small desk and go straight to the folder that contains all of my parents' photos. One by one, I flip through and look at them. I've seen these photos a million times before, but they still make me cry. One of my mother holding me in the maternity ward in Ku 2. My father laughing at a party. My parents with Aunt Kimie and Lomo. There are even a few of my mother with her father. He died not long after she did. I barely knew him.

I keep this New Year's tradition to myself and let the tears come silently, wiping them away with my hands and ignoring the handkerchief. Aunt Kimie doesn't like to talk about my mother, her father, or any of the time she grew up in Ku 6. Though she loved my mother, she was devastated when she died, especially since her father disowned her when she married Aunt Lomo. I'm still not sure why. I think my grandfather wanted more grandchildren, but he only got me, the half-Japanese.

I give myself another minute of tears before taking a deep breath. I'm not really a wallower. I like to deal with things and move on. But I allow myself these photos once per year because I'm always afraid I'm going to forget what they look like. Then I see the photos again, close my eyes, and there they are.

Turning off the tablet, I set it aside. Now is the time to write my letters to Aunt Kimie and Lomo. This year, I think I'll compose haikus for both of them, but it's going to require some thought. With my pen poised over my stationery, I begin like I do every year.

" _Dearest Aunt Kimie..._ "

# Chapter Three

Back to work.

There's a lot to be done and my to-do list is about a thousand items deep. For the next year, I'll be pulling long shifts and late nights. Launch of the first ships is a little over a year away and with Kenji Yamada, our Chief of Colonization, in the hospital close to death, my coworkers are distracted by the constant stream of gossip surrounding his mysterious illness. The stories coming off the news service for the past week have been grave, and the whole situation makes me anxious. Yamada was a people person, someone who was always around, and made a point of speaking to everyone on the staff no matter how junior they were. No one I know wants anything bad to happen to him.

I walk into the Colonization building first thing the second of January, and the front atrium is chaotic with activity. My tablet in my bag immediately starts pinging with messages coming in and more work to be done. I try not to growl at it.

Whenever I get particularly frustrated with my work load, I watch the original colonization announcement given by Chief Administrator Lucinda Coen when I was thirteen. The announcement is still in the news databases and judging by the number of times the file's been viewed, I'm sure I'm not the only one who downloads it over and over again. The video reminds me why I keep chipping away at the pile of work, why I'm here in the first place.

I reach my desk and access it on my tablet to watch again before I tackle anything else. The immediate office area is quiet, and no one is around to talk to yet.

In the video, Coen, with her bright eager face, shoulder-length red hair and green eyes, broadcast to all Nishikyō citizens that the Colonization Committee had decided on which of the ten planets logged in the GDB we are to make our new home. The planet will have everything we'll need: sun, warmth, oxygen, land, and water. It's fairly close to the same size as Earth, a little bit colder, and has two moons.

She never mentioned any specifics, but the first ship will get to our new home in ten years. The next ships will leave in waves each following year and most likely take less time due to ongoing research and advancements. She ended the announcement by giving the planet a name: Yūsei, which means "wandering star" in Japanese.

While I sit at my desk and drink my morning coffee, I close my eyes and try to imagine what this place will be like. I'm going to spend the rest of my life there. My kids will grow up in the open space with grass, trees, and sun. But each time I try to imagine the world, I only picture what I know of Earth from before the Environmental Decline and wars that wiped out most of humanity. Yūsei will be different. In a few years, I'll finally understand for myself.

When I access my messages, an emergency meeting scheduled in my calendar for 8:00am pops up. Five minutes from now! I stand up and look around, and only a few people have filtered in, but I bet most went straight to the conference room. It was a good thing I checked my messages when I did. I got so caught up in my thoughts I might have missed the meeting.

I grab my coffee and file in with the last stragglers as we make our way to the nearest conference room. Everything seems eerily quiet, the sea of gray clad people in the room unmoving. No murmuring or hushed words are spoken. There is going to be big news at this meeting.

At the front, Robert Starr, second-in-command under now-hospitalized Yamada, stands next to a small Japanese woman, and they both wait until the room is silent.

"Everyone, thank you for coming so early in the morning. I'm glad to see our nighttime shift workers were able to stay on past their release time to hear this important news." Starr bows to the staff and everyone bows back. "I'm afraid Yamada-sama will not be able to return to work. I was briefed this morning by Coen-sama that his situation has not improved. And, though we are all very saddened by this news, the work must continue. Now, please let me introduce the new head of the Colonization Committee, Emiko Matsuda. She is transferring to this post from being the head of Nishikyō Agriculture. She has both backgrounds in agriculture and city planning and, we believe, the right person for this job. Matsuda-sama..."

Starr gestures to Matsuda to step forward, and she gives him a reassuring smile as he steps off to the side.

" _Domo arigatō gozaimashita_ ," she begins, thanking everyone in front of her. "Hello, everyone. Though the situation that brought me here is sad, I am nevertheless pleased to be here and look forward to working with you in the years ahead. I know you are all hard workers and will not fail in getting the first of our colony's ships on track to our new home. That being said, I will jump right into the thick of this situation. Plans have been changed, and it is now necessary to double our efforts to make our first launch window in one year's time. Those in charge of astrometrics, stellar cartography, and the hyperspace drive will need to be aware of the new specifications. I regret to say your efforts will be most increased during this transition. You have my sincerest apologies." She stops to bow while everyone stares at her in shock.

"To everyone else, you will need to provide support to those whose jobs have changed. We will remain on schedule. We cannot be delayed. Starr-san has made sure you all receive ample stipends to cover extra hours. You may feel free to contact my office if you have any questions." She bows and takes a step back, turning to Starr to whisper in his ear. We're dismissed.

Quiet murmuring bubbles up as my coworkers go back to their desks, stress and anxiety causing several to head straight for the bathroom. No one wants to work more hours under a new boss a year before launch. If we weren't all afraid of the city falling to pieces on us before we leave, we'd probably protest.

I return to my workstation and take an hour to read over the new specs list, which are not much different than the last, thankfully. I'm assigned to the colony's structural projects, and only the mean average climate temperatures are changed — a little bit cooler than first thought. Also, I'm to design for more rain than originally specced. Perhaps the committee chose another part of the world to build on, or new data has accumulated about the atmosphere of Yūsei? Either way, my design ideas are not in much danger. Extra insulation will need to be ordered and more thought will need to be given to the drainage systems.

My tablet pings just as I'm finishing and the message is from Chad. _"Can you meet me in the alley next to the noodle shop across the street?"_ Huh. What's up with him? I stand up at my desk and survey the room, but he's not here, just a few people I smile at, and they smile back. I message Chad that I'll be right there, set my tablet down, and quickly walk out of the office.

Exiting the building and crossing the street, I side-step the line of people queuing up through the _noren_ curtains at the udon noodle restaurant and meet Chad in the alley next door. He lacks his usual happy grin, and his dark face and eyes are wide with concern. His news must be worse than mine.

"Sanaa, they're calling for completely new astrometrical coordinates." Chad whistles, long and low. "New coordinates; new, higher levels of fuel; greater allowances and storage space for food and hydroponics in flight." He stops and shakes his head as someone walks by, and my stomach sinks. "Changes of this magnitude could only mean two things: the committee totally screwed up the information the first time..."

"Unlikely." I roll my eyes at him. Nobody screws something this big up. "Or..." I tap my fingers on my chin before coming to the logical conclusion. "We've changed planets, right? Because my specs are not all that different, but combined with your information, they tell me our plans have altered drastically."

Chad nods his head. We're not stupid. In fact, we work with some of the city's smartest people, so I doubt we're the only ones who have figured this out. Poor Chad is looking a little frazzled. His curly short hair is standing straight up and his usually dark skin is tinged with green. He's not taking the change in events well. I'm not surprised to find him so upset, but I feel bad for him all the same.

Sometimes it's strange working with someone I have casual sex with. He's seen me naked. And we've been intimate with each other in ways I never was with Joshua. I wish my heart could get in line and love him like he wants to be loved, but my heart wants more. I reach over and squeeze his hand, and his shoulders sink.

"Why would they change everything so close to launch? We're only a year away."

One year to revise everything before putting our first team on the ship and bidding them farewell. This does not sound good.

"I don't know," I say, squeezing his hand and letting go, "but this wasn't Yamada's idea. This new woman comes in and everything turns upside down. These changes can only mean a major policy decision has been reversed." I inhale a shaky breath and let all the air in me out slowly. "I'm wondering if it is Coen-sama's idea or not?" I shake my head. I have no clue.

Chad smiles down at me meekly, clasping my shoulders in his hands. "Are you okay? Should I walk you back in?"

"No," I say, shaking my head again. "I'll be fine. Let me know if you hear anything else?" Wiggling my shoulders a little, I step back out of his reach. I can't get sucked into needing his attention right now. This is definitely not the time.

"Hey!" he yells as I clear the end of the alley. "I've missed you. It's been a while."

I smile back at him and stop. "Since before Christmas..."

"And you've had a birthday. Happy birthday." He cocks his smile to the side, scanning me up and down. "How about tomorrow night?"

"Can't," I say, and it's only a half-truth. I'd like to go to Izakaya Tanaka. I want more news about Miko, Yoichi, and his younger brother, Jiro. The want I felt for Jiro was a hundred times stronger than anything I've felt for Joshua or Chad. "Soon, though. I'll message you."

"You're a tease!" he yells at my back, but I don't turn to smile. I just wave my hand above my head.

When I arrive at my desk, a message prompt is flashing on my tablet. No time to sit down and contemplate how Chad hasn't taken me out on a real date in over a year. It's really not a relationship.

" _Request Urgent: Please report to Robert Starr's office._ " Uh oh. I've never been called before the big boss before. Did I do something wrong? Maybe it's not just me. Maybe my whole team? I call up the specs again on my tablet and read as I'm walking down the hall to his office, not making eye contact with anyone I pass. What if I'm being reprimanded for something and they all know? Dread makes my stomach flip over as I request entrance on the palm scanner. The door opens swiftly, and Starr's assistant in his outer office bows and takes me straight in.

"Please." Starr gestures towards the chair on the opposite side of his desk, but I'm frozen in place staring at Emiko Matsuda. I bow to her, and she inclines her head in return before I sink into the chair. I'm grateful he's asked me to sit so I can disguise my shaking knees and hands.

"Thank you for joining us so swiftly. Matsuda-sama has informed me that you are to be relieved of your duties effective immediately." I swear my heart stops. What have I done wrong? I want to open my mouth and ask but think better of it.

"Take care, Griffin-san," Emiko Matsuda says leaning forward and putting on her most sympathetic expression. "This is not because of any faults with your work. You will receive word via message about a different assignment."

"Will my work no longer be here in the engineering section?"

Starr looks at his tablet and shakes his head. "No. Your desk's contents will remain here, and you will have future access to them, but you will not report for daily duty." He sighs, and I wonder if I'm just one of a hundred things on a list he has to accomplish today. "If I knew anything else, I would tell you, but that's all the information I have. I'm sorry."

Starr wastes no time shutting off his tablet and dismissing me with a wave of his hand. I jump up and go as politely as I can without running for the door.

# Chapter Four

What the hell just happened?

Completely confused, I leave Starr's office and head straight back to my desk, placing my hands on the cold surface and pushing down to stop them from trembling.

"Sanaa, are you all right?" my coworker in the next station asks, concern plain on his face.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just tired." I smile at him weakly. "Long holiday." Which, of course, it wasn't. But my excuse is good enough to send him back to his work when I get a ping on my tablet straight from Chief Administrator Coen's office. My hand shakes hovering over the screen. I've never received a message from someone so important.

I read the message twice to make sure I understand. I'm to meet my new boss at my dōjō here in Ku 9. How do they know I practice there? I've only been going to this dōjō for two years, and I'm not familiar with many people but the instructor and a few classmates.

Grabbing my bag, I exit the building and nearly get knocked over by a bike in the street. I should not be allowed to walk around when I'm this distracted. On the way, I immediately start to think about how I'm going to get out of any new work assigned to me, but then I remember where the message came from. No, it's going to be impossible to dodge anything. With instructions coming down straight from the top, I fear, whatever this is, I'm in for the long haul.

I enter my dōjō at 10:00am on the dot. The lights are off. The room is empty.

"Excuse me? Is anyone here?" Street noise and light filter in through the open windows but the mats cushion and hush the thrum.

"Sanaa Griffin." The voice comes out of the darkness and causes me to jump and stumble backwards. A man walks towards me, and, in the light of the window, I realize I know exactly who this is.

"You. I know you. Mark Sakai, right?" It's a good thing I'm excellent at remembering names and faces. I keep my voice as level as possible. This is eerie.

"Yes, Sanaa. A pleasure to meet you again." He gives me a tiny smile. If that's supposed to put me at ease, it's not working.

"What's going on here?"

"I believe you got a message from Coen-sama's office, ne?"

Well, at least I'm in the right place. "Yes, I did. But... you're to be my new boss? What do you do?"

He tilts his head, his eyes boring into my brain. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin with him staring at me like that.

"I am involved in... a variety of things. You'll be working with me for a while."

"I already have a job."

"With the Colonization Committee? Not anymore."

My stomach drops and twists into a knot. "Why? What will I be doing for you?"

"This is more of a question of what you will be doing for yourself not for me, but for now, you'll follow my instructions."

What do I do? I'm at a complete loss. Maybe I could turn and leave right now? Sakai is watching me, gauging my reaction to this sudden change, and I sense he's wondering if I'll talk back or not. Instinct is telling me to be quiet, but, well, I've never been good at keeping quiet.

"Look, whoever you are. I'd like to know..." But I stop as he steps towards me. So much for standing my ground. I guess I do have instincts because they tell me he's my superior, and I should shut my mouth before I offend him. I avert my eyes and murmur apologies before he can berate me, but the objection never comes.

"Don't play submissive with me, Sanaa. You are here to learn from me. Be my student, not my slave." This sounds promising, so I find my confidence and meet Sakai's eyes straight on. "How you got here is irrelevant. This is your new job, your new life. Everyone will believe you still work for the Colonization Committee, but, instead, you work with me. You are not to speak of what you learn at your new job to anyone else. These... lessons are for your benefit only."

Ominous but intriguing.

"Lessons? I haven't been in school for four years."

"Well," Sakai begins, walking to his right. I am content to stand where I am, but he motions to follow. "You may not be in school anymore, but you have much to learn. Where you are going and what you will be doing, the decisions you will make, will all depend on what you learn with me."

Uh oh, I don't like the sound of that.

"You have grown up around people your whole life, but you do not know people. You live your life amongst your few friends and your aunts but you never travel outside your circles. You are sheltered."

My face flushes red with anger. Who does this man think he is? We only ever met each other two nights ago for the first time. He knows nothing about me. Yet, what he just said was true, and that scares me more than anything else.

"This has been your life for twenty years, and in two years time, this will all change for you. Will change for everyone." He turns to me with a sad expression on his face, and all the heat leaves my body cold. "I'm sorry to say your time as an engineer has come to an end. Now it's time you learned about the other side of Nishikyō, about the other side of you. There is a way of life here that must be protected at all costs, and forces at work that will try to fight against the system we've worked so hard to build. You will help me keep the peace."

I'm finding it hard to breathe, the air around me solid and stagnant. When I manage to take a shaky breath, my fear turns to anger again, a hot blush rushing back to my cheeks.

"I'm confused. Who are you? And why the hell am I here?" I let out a laugh and glance around to make sure I'm not about to be pranked. "I hate the fact you're telling me things without really telling me anything. Is this a joke? Because I'm nobody."

Sakai leans in and looks hard into my eyes, and I do my best to stand still and not draw back. His glare is intense and follows the curve of my forehead, over my eyebrows, and down across my chin. He studies every line, every millimeter, and I'm a little disturbed by how familiar he is with me. "No. No, you are not."

He sighs and turns toward the window again while I try to will the blush from my face and steady my heart rate.

"Tomorrow we start your real education, Sanaa-chan."

So the next day I start as I usually do based on instructions Sakai provided when he dismissed me at the dōjō. Before bed last night, I sat at my desk and traced back the message I received from Coen's office. It didn't take long to find which servers the data was routed through and determine the message was not a fake. It's the real deal. I sighed and cursed my stupid birthday. I'm an adult now. Independent. I can't go to my aunts and ask them to get me out of this. I spent the whole night tossing and turning and wondering what was going to happen to me. I think I got a few hours sleep but it wasn't restful at all.

When the alarm sounds at 7:05am, I get up, shower, dress in Nishikyō grays, and say good-bye to my Aunt Lomo who is always up in the morning before she goes to work. I pick up a breakfast bento box at my local cafeteria and walk towards the engineering building. As I come upon the main street, I turn left instead of right and walk to the dōjō. I try not to feel nauseated, but my nervous energy has me all wound up. I doubt I'll eat much breakfast.

The dōjō is deserted again except for Sakai. Where is everyone else anyway? A morning class is scheduled here every day.

"Just us?" I join Sakai at the window. He's drinking a steaming cup of tea and holding his tablet.

"Yes. It will mostly be just us for the duration of our time together. This dōjō will no longer host classes. A new facility has been opened up the street." He leans forward and eyes a building three down and across where the lights are blazing and a group of young people practice with the windows open.

"Huh, I didn't see that there yesterday." I try to open my bento box, but it slips in my unsteady fingers.

"Are you all right, Sanaa-chan?"

I close my eyes and concentrate on stilling my hands, but my fingers shake even more. I wish I could pretend like this whole situation doesn't scare me. That would be easier than dealing with my nerves, which I'm trying hard to do.

"I'm afraid I didn't get much sleep last night."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Sakai's piteous look makes my blood race, anger overcoming the fear. Calm down, Sanaa.

"I'm sorry we sprung this on you so quickly. I thought it might be better to change everything at once, but you are obviously upset about your change in position."

He seems a lot less stern this morning. All night I had built him up in my mind as being someone determined to make my life difficult. I never expected him to apologize.

"I love my job as an engineer. It's all I've ever wanted to do. Please tell me you'll send me back?"

"Eat," he says, looking at my breakfast.

With a sigh, I take a bite of sweet bean curd with rice and a sip of coffee. Sakai peers down his nose disapprovingly. "What? I _love_ coffee," I say, taking a deep breath over my cup.

He cracks a small smile, and his relaxation warms me up, my stomach unclenching. "That must be your father's influence," he says, clearing his throat without elaborating further. Wait, my father? "You did not see the dōjō yesterday because it wasn't there yesterday. We moved them over last night."

With every word he says, my fear is subsiding, and I'm becoming more like my old self. In fact, I think he's enjoying being secretive, and in return, I secretly want to kick him. Yep, the fire is back.

"We?" I ask to stop myself from lashing out at him. I do have a temper (Aunt Kimie calls it the dragon within me) and right now he's lucky I'm still too scared to let it show. I keep eating.

"I employ a staff. Maybe someday you will meet them, but until then, they'll be of little impact on our days together." Sakai takes one last sip of his tea and turns to me, but I'm busy shoving the last of my rice in my mouth.

"How ladylike."

"What?" I say around a mouthful of rice. "You're ready to go, ne?"

He nods and takes my bento, depositing the container in the auto-washer near the door. "You will please use good manners and conduct yourself as an adult while we are out."

I roll my eyes. I am extremely ladylike, can't he tell?

"Today, we'll take the transitway to Ku 1, the Administrative Ward. You've been there."

"Yes, a few times — for work — and when I was little... when my parents died. I don't have any other reasons to visit." I follow Sakai out of the dōjō and across the street to the transitway entrance, and we take the train north from Ku 9, past Ku 10, to Ku 1.

The Administrative Ward of the city houses the government of Nishikyō. If you are involved in politics, public service, or monetary business, then you live and work there. If you need permits, want more than one child or to get married, need a small vehicle for your business, or any other similar matter, you go to Ku 1. It's the center of all that makes Nishikyō work.

I keep quiet for most of the ride. Sitting next to Sakai, I watch him from the corner of my eye for a few minutes before I find my voice again.

"So, do Yoichi and Jiro work for you? You were all together on New Year's Eve." I'm trying to figure out how these people all fit into this puzzle, and I'm dying to learn more about Jiro especially after yesterday morning's run-in with Chad.

"You could say that, yes."

"Will I see them too when I work for you?" Sakai is so stern. It would be nice to see a friendly face once in a while. I'm used to working with tons of people.

"Possibly, but for the next two months or so, you and I will be working alone."

He is silent again and staring straight forward. I'm lonely already.

When we arrive in Ku 1, Sakai leads the way to the Data & Communications building. The streets in Ku 1 are no less busy than Ku 9 but definitely cleaner and more subdued, devoid of the boxes stacked outside businesses and restaurants. Everyone is on their way to work — no children playing in the street or old men sitting outside of their shops watching the street traffic. I smooth out my shirt and keep pace at Sakai's side.

The Data & Communications building is in the domed courtyard of Ku 1 to the left of the Main Administration Building where Coen, her staff, and all the ward representatives pore over legislation. The domes that keep the rest of the wards safe from the elements are usually artfully hidden behind the tops of buildings. Here, they soar high above so you can't help but notice them, and my eyes immediately move up to stare.

Administration is on the highest level of Ku 1. If the dome were transparent, the other farming domes and towers would be within sight in the distance. Nishikyō domes are opaque, though, because the people who live and work here have most likely never seen the outside. I never have.

Sakai enters the building and approaches the lobby's check-in desk. He puts on a broad smile when the woman at the front desk looks up to greet him.

" _Ohayo gozaimasu_. Good morning. We have booked an 8:00am room. Sakai, Mark. Griffin, Sanaa." The woman blushes and checks her terminal. Sakai continues to smile, and I'm sure his eyes actually twinkle. Charmer.

"You're all set in theater 3B on level two. Would you like your tablet to show you the way?"

"I know the way. Arigatō gozaimasu. Have a good morning." Sakai leads me through a scanner at security, up an elevator, and to a room labeled 3B. To the right of the door is a keypad and palm scanner. Instinctively, I reach out but stop short of placing my hand on the reader.

Sakai notices my hesitation. "No. Please. You have been cleared, obviously." I place my palm on the scanner, and the door clicks open after my name and citizen ID number are displayed.

The room — no, it is not a room, it _is_ a theater — is larger than my entire apartment. The wall adjacent to the door is showing a terminal read-out screen in idle mode, and in the middle of the room is an automated desk with four chairs. Sakai walks to the desk and places his tablet upon the surface. The tablet and terminal pair up, and he is given instant access into the system. I sit down next to him and peek over his shoulder. The root system is the Great Database, the GDB.

"Sanaa, I'm going to get straight to the heart of the matter."

Good. I hate all of this already despite how curious I am.

"You've grown up in Nishikyō, spent your entire life here, but never really left the confines of your small neighborhood unless it was for work." I feel small again. How does he do that? "But, you are not unique in this. Not traveling is often a common problem amongst citizens. Few rarely leave their ku, let alone see more than ten percent of the city in their lifetime. Why is this, do you suppose?"

I set aside my annoyance at his generalizations and think about the structure and layout of the city — something I'm fairly knowledgeable about since I'm a civil engineer. The city is somewhat shaped like a clock. Ku is 1 directly north at the top, Ku 2, the Medical Services Ward, is at the center, and the rest of the city is laid out around Ku 2 clockwise. Ku 8, the Extinction Ward, and Ku 10, the Farming Ward, are both so large they spiral out from the city farther into the desert than any of the other wards. Most wards are linked by footpaths and street tunnels but the transitway is the easiest way to get anywhere in the city.

"The kus are self-sustaining and fairly segregated, yes?" I stammer and think. Sakai's eyes are boring through my head.

"Go on," he prompts.

"If you have no reason to leave your ward then what's the point? I can walk out the door and find just about anything I need within reach. Only the Japanese travel extensively. I rarely encounter people of other races outside of their ku. Is that on purpose? I never really thought about it."

"It was not meant to be on purpose, no. When Nishikyō was built, the city was the last hope of mankind to continue living on Earth. The Japanese were the last majority with the technology to build it, so Nishikyō is inherently Japanese. Everything is bilingual: English and Japanese. You only hear Arabic, German, Spanish, even Swahili, in the wards where those who speak those languages settled. No one meant to segregate themselves but humans arrived at Nishikyō in waves. No laws exist that only Arabs must live in Ku 3, but that's where the only mosque is. And this is also why the remainder of Jews live in Ku 4."

"The only Jewish temple is located there. Yes, I've actually been to study the architecture. I love buildings." I clamp down on my lips and smile through sadness. I already miss my job.

Sakai smiles back at me, and I receive my first bit of warmth from him.

"I've been overly harsh with you. You are sheltered but not as much as some. I'm pleased."

I can't help but smile back at him. When he's happy like this, he feels so familiar to me.

"I've traveled to a lot of places in the city. Aunt Kimie and Lomo love good food so we've been to Ku 3 and 4 a lot, and I grew up in Ku 5."

He nods his head and smiles. "But you do spend the majority of your time in Ku 9. I think you have only ever not spent time in Ku 6, ne?"

Yes, I haven't been to the Japanese Ward since I was a little girl. I nod back as Sakai turns to the tablet and calls up a prompt to the GDB. He moves the data from his tablet to the large screen so we can both view it.

"This is the current population data about Nishikyō. It's detailed. Information on every citizen is registered here, and it will give you a start to understanding the city as a whole."

I stand and walk to the screen. While looking at the data, I twist my hair in my fingers and let it go, over and over.

"This here is the census total?" I point to a number above a colorful pie chart. 6,320,426. Just over six million people left on all of Earth. I look long and hard at that number. How will they ever transport that many people to Yūsei? The number seems enormous, but then I think about what the Earth population used to be — closer to twelve billion. So many lost. "Seems like so much yet I know the population is so little."

"Yes. This data is only two days old." We both sit in silence and stare at the pie chart. The Japanese slice of the pie is near seventy percent. If a citizen has fifty percent or more Japanese blood, they are included in this number. The second largest number is United States and Canada, then Australia, then South America, India, China, and slices of the pie so small I can't examine them without having to zoom in. But these countries don't mean anything anymore. They are a designation of where our ancestors came from. Everyone is from Nishikyō now.

"It certainly is overwhelming. In a way, it's hard to see the Japanese number so high."

Sakai chuckles which makes me blush. "You have the humble gene, but that's good. We Japanese are good at being humble, but we're also smart and ruthless on occasion. Have you ever looked at the GDB's family trees?"

"No. This is my first time ever seeing raw data from the GDB."

Usually access is restricted to people with much higher clearance than myself. So much of the GDB was damaged during the wars that little remains of records about the history of Earth. Most knowledge had been handed down through generations until the GDB was rebuilt. The administration is now extremely careful about adding data, and a committee is assigned to updating it frequently. We are loathe to make the same mistake twice.

"The majority of Nishikyō is Japanese, yes, but the variances in Japanese backgrounds is not as wide as you may think." Sakai taps three different trees, groups them together, and zooms in. They are the three widest trees on the screen out of all of them. "This tree here on the left is identified today as the Minamoto clan."

"Wait a minute." Blood leaves my head, and I blink my eyes to keep them in focus. "Clan? It's been almost two thousand years since feudal Japan even existed." Now all of the sightings of family crests are starting to make more sense. I am so naive. I always thought they were just decoration.

Sakai waits a moment before continuing. "The clans have always been here. No one is outspoken about their affiliations but almost every Japanese citizen can trace their heritage back to a clan of some kind. These are the biggest and most prosperous in the city: Minamoto, Taira, and Maeda. Minamoto and Taira are the two largest by blood, but Maeda is strong because they recruit from other clans."

"Yakuza." I say the word as quietly as possible. The stories of the _yakuza_ of Old Japan are both fascinating and disturbing. Though yakuza did most of their business in the open, what they did behind closed doors frightened most people.

"Don't be too surprised," he says with a slight smile. "Who did you think runs most of the gambling in Kus 6 and 7?"

The gambling areas of Kus 6 and 7 are always bright and lively, and they seem to run twenty-four hours a day without downtime. Thinking of the times I've gone to Izakaya Tanaka or out to eat with my aunts, I remember passing the _pachinko_ parlors and casinos in Ku 7, and the other businesses that were busy but had no signs on the doors. Aunt Kimie always avoided eye contact with any of the tattooed men positioned outside. Even geisha are transported and guarded by many of the same men. It's reasonable now to assume they were all yakuza.

"I never thought much about it. My family was never involved in such things. My aunts avoid Ku 6." We used to go regularly when my grandfather was still alive, but that was a long time ago. I don't even remember what Ku 6 looks like.

"The yakuza are necessary to life here, believe it or not. You and I are not to debate their merits. They mostly do respectable business and rarely break the law. Taira and Minamoto on the other hand..."

His voice trails off. Whatever he's not telling me is big, but I have other questions.

I lean forward over his tablet again. "Which clan do you belong to? What about me? My family?"

"My clan is smaller. My namesake, Sakai clan. We act mainly as retainers, teachers, accountants, guides, and so on to other clans and non-Japanese here in the city. We are neutral. Your family... your family is not currently affiliated with any clan."

"Can I see my family tree?" I'm really curious now. I've never considered my family tree.

"Not today. I'm afraid I didn't call that data up ahead of time." Sakai turns back to his tablet and misses my short pout. "For now, it's important to understand and memorize the big bosses and sub-families of each clan in the city. Your job will be to know them better than they know themselves. You can do this because you'll have unlimited access to these families, their trees, and all of their purchases, movements via train or car, permits, hospital stays, and anything else you can call up in the database. There will also be surveillance videos from public spaces at your disposal."

My head throbs with the scope of what Sakai is asking of me.

"Why? Why have me do any of this? You have a staff. Can't they sit here and compile this data for you?" This doesn't seem like a job for a civil engineer. Why me?

"This sounds like a lot, but I'm sure you're the right one for this task. I chose you, Sanaa-chan, because I'm certain you're the person who can watch these people and make the connections between them that I cannot. You will advise me and, in turn, I will advise Coen-sama. I work with these clans, but I can't watch them like you can. My duties call me elsewhere. You're analytical and logical. You would not only make a good engineer, you would make an excellent detective."

Me out of everyone? He knows just what to say because I'm suddenly proud of myself and, also, greedy at the thought of all the information at my fingertips. I still don't believe his explanation, but what can I do? I can fight him but my struggles will get me nowhere.

"This will not be all that we ask of you." What else? "There will be training, and you will meet these men and women. You will become a part of their world while remaining separate from them. _Torinozoku_ : to set apart, to remove."

Yes, I know this word and nod. Torinozoku also means to take away, and with the scope of information in front of me, I suspect I will be taking more from them than they are willing to give.

# Chapter Five

I spend ten hours per day in the Data & Communications building for five weeks before coming to any clear conclusions of how the clans work in Nishikyō. I'm not required to work long shifts, but Sakai has ordered me to keep telling people I work at my old job. I can't come home early, so when I'm done at Ku 1 every day around 7pm, I go out to dinner and continue working. This way no one notices the difference. Aunt Kimie and Lomo tend to only eat at home so this is the best way to keep the lie going. I hate secrets and lies.

But I'm lucky to have my aunts. Maybe because neither of them are strict, or because I've been pretty responsible, they've always given me space to do what I want to do. Helena's parents are almost completely absent, working their jobs non-stop, and Miko's parents are over-protective. Aunt Kimie and Lomo are right in the middle, so I feel awful when I work straight through Aunt Lomo's birthday in early February. I promise to make it up to her soon and write myself a reminder to ask for a day off from Sakai.

I don't meet up with Miko or Helena, though we chat online as much as possible while I'm out working and eating every evening. Miko is dating Yoichi. Actually dating, not just having dinner and going straight to a love hotel. I have the urge to ask about Jiro, but don't. Why bother? I don't have time for a social life. I don't even have time to meet Chad for some quick sex. He's disappointed, I can tell. His messages back are always clipped short.

My routine never wavers. I join Sakai each morning at the dōjō. We eat breakfast together, and he escorts me to Ku 1. After our first trip to the building, we no longer check in. We are greeted at the door by the security scanners, and theater 3B is always unoccupied. Sakai leaves me to my work and comes back at noon with food for us both, though sometimes he skips lunch for meetings.

After years of working with teams of people, I'm uneasy being alone every day. I talk to myself all the time and spend my lunch hours without Sakai, wondering if I should strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to me eating by him or herself. I miss real conversations about life or love, even sports or news. It's exceedingly lonely.

During the first three weeks of my research time, Sakai was impenetrable and remained passive and quiet. He listened to all of my hypotheses, shot down those he deemed unworthy, and set aside the ones I had hit on correctly. Now he seems to be warming up to me and giving me his opinions instead of waiting for mine. But this whole job ordeal is truly frustrating because I have no idea what the hell I'm really doing. My research seems like such a silly waste of time. What do the inner workings of Nishikyō's society have to do with the colonization efforts?

The one thing that shocks me the most while examining video surveillance every day is how different Ku 6 is from other wards. It's even more Japanese than I could have imagined. Almost every sign on each building lacks the English translation. The non-Japanese races are few and far between, practically nonexistent. I've even seen many men carrying swords. Swords! How do they get away with that?

Yesterday, as I was leaving the theater, I pulled a hair clip out of my bag and twisted my hair up into a secured knot before slinging my bag over one shoulder.

"Sanaa-chan?"

I wasn't paying attention to Sakai, but when I focused on him, he was sad.

"What is it, Sakai-san?"

He winced as if I had struck him. "I want you to call me Mark. 'Sakai-san' is not... right. It's what people call me when they want something from me."

It seemed like this was a confession of some kind and made me admire him a little bit more. For weeks, I had been referring to him as Sakai-san. He must have come to trust me?

"Okay. Whatever you want, Mark." I smiled at him before I left, but his lips stayed in a straight line.

Today, he leans over my shoulder and examining the data I compiled on the Minamoto family. In the beginning, Sakai was good enough to point me in the direction of the clan leaders, but tracking Yoshinori Minamoto, my first subject, required time. His family is big and following him through the Nishikyō Japanese population is an enormous task.

It took five weeks to figure out what I could pull from the GDB and develop a routine, but I have a good idea of what Minamoto's daily activities involve. I watched where he ate and tracked all the people who worked and ate there. I pursued the people he ate with and developed programs to accumulate data on those families. I followed his daily movements from home to the transitway to the restaurant he owns in Ku 7. Every night, he travels to a bar or okiya and, most times, back home afterward, if he didn't spend the night in a love hotel or passed out in his office at the restaurant.

He is a family man: one wife, one son. He had applied for a permit for a second child ten years ago but his wife never gave birth again. I never view his wife on camera with him, and have no idea what his son looks like because they don't spend time together. I should set up database searches for each of them but I'll have to do it later. Minamoto is in good shape but drinks and eats too much. I can't be sure without seeing for myself, but I'm almost positive he's had at least three tattoos and a scar on his mid-section from a stab wound he received five years ago.

"What do you think of this man?" Sakai asks as he examines the dossier I put up on the big screen.

"I think he's powerful. He commands a lot of respect from the people that work for him. Every one of his employees at the restaurant shows up on time and works late. He has bodyguards who tail him wherever he goes, even though Minamoto is a black belt in karate. He has a thing for this blonde woman he meets at a love hotel every week, and he's never with his family... Hmmm, there's a lot here."

Sakai studies my data and nods. "Yes, but you should dig deeper into this man's life in any way you can. You've done some good preliminary work here. It's going to come as no surprise to you that all of these clan leaders are involved in criminal activities the police can't deal with."

"Why not?"

"Because the clans are powerful. Every time the police get close to them, something happens and the investigations go away."

"So, people are already working on this like I am? Why don't you let them do all this research?"

"I don't trust them. I trust you."

A blush creeps to my face. I _have_ gained a measure of his respect. If he respects and trusts me now, then now is the time I can figure out more of why I'm here.

"Mark, why are there still areas of the GDB I can't access? I'd like to analyze my family tree." I wanted to ask this from the beginning but was waiting for the right opportunity. I didn't want to press this issue with Sakai. Over the past five weeks, he gave me many hints he knows a lot about my family, but whenever I questioned him, he wouldn't elaborate.

Sakai observes my eagerness and sighs. "I'm sorry. I'm not allowed to release any data that doesn't pertain to these clans we're studying." He stops when I pout in disappointment. "What do you want to know? I can tell you won't rest until you ask me."

"Can you tell me more about my parents? They died when I was so young, and Aunt Kimie doesn't talk much about them anymore." I've tried for years and years to break the silence in my house with no luck. I have my photos and my memories, but that's all.

Sakai thinks for a moment. "I know your whole family. Kimie misses your mother very much. As kids, Junko and Kimie were inseparable. Junko was bright, so smart, and fun. The apple of everyone's eye." I swear Sakai blushes for a split-second. He must have loved her, my mother. When he told me to call him Mark and not Sakai-san yesterday, he was probably thinking about how much I resemble my mother. It's not a stretch to believe this. Everyone says this about me. I'm a little heartbroken for him.

"Is this why you chose me for this job? Because you knew my parents?"

"Yes, partly. I knew your parents. I trusted them both, and you got the best of both of them. You're also completely trustworthy on your own."

I can accept this, I think, though I still want my old job back desperately. "What happened between my parents and my grandparents? I've always wondered."

Sakai sits back and folds his arms across his chest. "Kimie never told you?"

"No. Just that she and my grandfather did not get along."

"Well, your grandfather was shocked when your mother chose to marry a non-Japanese. He was a traditionalist..." Sakai sighs. "I'm being kind. Your mother always called him a racist, and I don't think she was wrong. Then Kimie married Lomo, and he up and disowned them both. His rejection was hard on your parents and your aunts. They kept trying to come back to visit him, and he would always turn them away."

My grandfather's reaction to Aunt Kimie is shocking. It's rare for anyone to care about men loving men or women with women anymore. People do what they want. With Nishikyō in zero population growth mode for the past one hundred years, having children is a luxury only heterosexuals can afford, though. Hospitals stopped infertility treatments over one hundred fifty years ago. This was probably the reason my grandfather disowned Aunt Kimie. She couldn't give him more grandkids. But still...

"What a stubborn old man. What kind of arrogant bastard disowns his two daughters over something so dumb?"

Sakai laughs at me. His face is so much more likable when he's happy. "I see both your parents gave you your fire and your wit."

"And my temper." I narrow my eyes at him with a smile.

"I'll keep that in mind." He sits forward and smooths out his shirt. "I knew your father, too. We all grew up around the same ward. Max's family was almost exclusively British, but they chose to live in Ku 6 with the rest of the hardcore Japanese because they believed in integration. Your father was bilingual, actually trilingual — he spoke German, too — to the core. I think he dreamed in Japanese. Your parents were in love from the first moment they met, no mistake about that." Sakai, his eyes far off, is sad again before he cracks the smallest of smiles.

"Do you know what your name means?"

"It means 'brilliance' in Arabic. My name was chosen because it wasn't English nor Japanese."

"Yes. You are a multicultural mix, and your parents believed in the multiculturalism of Nishikyō, as do I. This is why understanding the inner workings of these clans is so important. They are strong and will try to rule for their own sake when we reach Yūsei. They want an exclusively Japanese nation, and we can't afford that with the human race on the brink of extinction. We need all of this information, and you're going to help us keep them in line."

I pause and hold my breath for a few seconds before releasing it. I've been so engrossed talking about my parents that I forgot about this job of mine I'm supposed to be doing.

"Mark, if you knew my whole family, why have I never met you before now?"

"Because I've kept my distance since your parents died. Kimie wanted me to have nothing to do with you or her family anymore. I respected her wishes for the longest time. But now you're an adult, and this is all information you should know. Everything you do and learn here each day will be something you should have learned growing up in Ku 6 but were never able to. It's what your mother would have wanted. Kimie took you away from all that was meant to be a part of you. Your mother would never have done such a thing."

I'm not sure what to make of his statement. I love Aunt Kimie and Lomo more than anything. My father's family immediately wanted nothing to do with any of us once he was dead, and only my Aunt Sharon from my father's side hung on in my life until a few years ago. Aunt Kimie and Lomo respected my parents' wishes and raised me. If what Sakai is saying now is true, then Aunt Kimie went against my mother's wishes for my upbringing. Who is telling me the truth?

"Come. It's lunchtime, and I think you've made a lot of progress here." He stands up and straightens out his shirt. When he adjusts his collar, I get the slightest glimpse of a tattoo peeking over the edge and turn away quickly. I don't want to embarrass Sakai when we have this understanding between us. "You have gathered a lot of data on Minamoto, though more work needs to be done. Now we have other things to attend to."

We eat lunch together in the DataComm cafeteria. Sakai catches up on work on his tablet while I read stories from the Nishikyō News Service. Still no news about the old head of the Colonization Committee, Yamada, so I turn to my neglected inbox, and there's a message from Chad.

" _Sanaa, where have you been? You're never around the office anymore. Your stuff is here but you're not. Get together soon? You've stopped answering my messages, and I'm worried about you. Let me know when you can spare a lunch break. Chad._ "

Ignore and close my inbox. I have no idea what to say to him anyway, but I'll think of something soon. He's going to think I disappeared off the face of the planet if I don't contact him. He may even find someone else? I'm ambivalent about that. I don't love him, but I have no other prospects, and the sex is fine even if it's not meaningful. I doubt I'd find another casual dalliance so easily again. I don't possess the womanly curves that make men buy me drinks at the bar. What the hell am I thinking? I don't even go out anymore.

Sigh. I move on to my favorite fiction sites instead.

This quiet time is pleasant. I'm getting used to being in Sakai's presence without being aware of my every movement like I was in the beginning. It's almost comfortable, and I'm happy I went out on a limb and asked him questions about my family. He's more real to me now.

I eat and glance up to find him staring at his work. His hair is gray along the temples, but his face is still young. If he were friends with my mother and father, then that would make him forty-two or forty-three now. My mother and father had married young, as most people do now, and had given birth to me at twenty-two.

After lunch, Sakai leads me out of the building and into the transitway system.

"Where are we going now?" I sit next to him on the almost empty train.

"We have a few hours this afternoon, so we're going to Ku 8. You've never been before."

"No. How exciting! I've always wanted to visit the Extinction Ward."

Ku 8 is off-limits to the public. You either are employed to work there or hold classified status like Sakai. He is constantly going places that require special access. Once while viewing video surveillance of Ku 1, I saw Sakai make his way towards Chief Administrator Coen's private residence. I was nosy and spied on him for an hour after that, then I felt guilty. I haven't done it again since.

"I've persuaded the administration into granting you access for today."

Our train pulls into the Ku 8 station, and we disembark with a few other passengers. Palm scanners at each exit ensure no one is allowed to enter Ku 8 without proper identification and access.

"Everything in this ward will be packed up and shipped to Yūsei in the next few years, but still everyone is working on preserving what was salvaged from Earth before the Environmental Decline."

Sakai leads me into one of several holding rooms outside the station exit. The room contains a window on one wall, a door on the other, a table with bins, and a young woman attendant.

"Place all of your belongings in the bins and step forward into the decontamination chamber," the woman tells us. We are both only carrying our tablets in bags so those go into the bins. The young woman moves off to the right of the chamber to insert them into a machine in the wall.

"Walk in and raise both your arms to the side," Sakai instructs me. "You'll be doused with a low-level radiation which will kill any bacteria you brought in."

I gulp. "Radiation?"

Sakai ignores me.

"On the other side, you will enter a locker room where we'll store our bags and dress in hazmat scrubs."

The decontamination chamber is cold and the little whoosh of air that precedes the radiation beep makes me shiver. I try not to think about the life expectancy of Ku 8 employees. You have to really love your work to be blasted with radiation every day.

I join Sakai who is already dressed, and holding the hazmat suit in my hand, I consider my tasks with a renewed sense of purpose. If Sakai and all the people who work here are devoting their lives to saving what's left of Earth's treasures, then this cause must be a worthy one.

Through the locker room door stands Section 1 of Ku 8. The Extinction Ward consists of twelve sections extending out from the city in a maze of spirals buried in the land.

"What is this section made of? It looks like... It looks so familiar." I enter the long tube and wait for Sakai to follow. Stretching down each side of Section 1 are vast shelves stacked with thousands of artifacts.

"Airplanes. Or they were airplanes. The city engineers managed to save several dozen that were sitting in a graveyard in the South. Since they were going to be used for storage, they were buried as is. The design of Ku 8 is a side-by-side spiral so some of these sections are two or three planes wide. Section 1 here is artifact storage."

He leads the way down the row of shelves, but I want to linger and admire every little thing. Each item is tagged, and, if my tablet hadn't been confiscated at the door, I'd probably be able to access the section's catalog. There are pots, jewelry, paintings (The paintings... So colorful), and two rows over are dead animals that are so lifelike, they're actually a bit scary.

"Wow! Mark, look!" I pull on his arm to get him to stop. I'm no longer twenty but four years old, apparently. Down an adjacent section is a container that could hold a whole human. Glittering in gold, red, and blue paint, it stands behind a shelf of pottery.

"Yes, an Egyptian sarcophagus, and we're lucky to have that. The museum in New York City was burnt to the ground during the riots. Thirty percent of everything the museum held was lost."

"I wish I could touch it." I think, if I ran really quick, I could probably reach the sarcophagus before Sakai caught me.

"Come, Sanaa-chan. These things are all interesting, but they don't bring back what we've lost, just remind us of it. The next section is where the real work is done."

Through the next doorway is an immense lab, and I count at least sixty people working at stations. "These scientists are replicating the genomes of almost all the animals lost during the Decline. Cell and culture samples will be frozen and shipped to Yūsei so we can populate the planet with species we're familiar with."

"Do you think there will be life on Yūsei? Everyone has a theory, but the administration is quiet."

"That's because no one knows. The planet is definitely habitable. Right temperature, right atmosphere, right size, but that's all the data we have." Sakai clears his throat and motions to me to stay out of the way of a woman carrying a tray of pipettes. In the next aisle over, a distracted man, holding a tray of pipettes in one hand and reading his tablet at the same time, knocks into a cubicle divider and drops everything. Glass shatters, and two people jump to the side.

"Oh ffff." He closes his eyes and clenches his mouth shut, stopping a swear. "Smitty! Call the clean-bots over here, please." He sighs and looks miserably at the floor. "A day's work gone."

With a flurry of activity and screeching of tiny wheels, the clean-bots zoom in and clear the mess while others walk around like nothing happened. I want clean-bots (I hate cleaning), but they are such a luxury. Only the commercial zones of Nishikyō use them.

"Everyone here is working double shifts. There's much to be done before we depart."

"I remember." I nod at Sakai, and he averts his eyes. Back at my former job, they are working long hours without me.

"You look weary but there's still much more to see here, including the zoo."

"Really?" A zoo!

His eyes light up at my exclamation of delight. "I'm now sure this was the right trip for today."

Through two more sections, Sakai leads me on an extensive tour of the zoo. All of the animals here are less than ten years old. Nishikyō has tigers, lions, giraffes, an elephant, sheep, goats, llamas, horses, birds, reptiles, and a huge tank of fish. Space is so limited, though. Each of these animals (except maybe the fish) will be put into deep sleep for the flight to Yūsei like most of the human population. I gaze into the eyes of a llama and wonder what he will think about hibernating for a few years and waking up on some hostile planet. Probably the same as me if he were aware of his surroundings at all.

Sakai explains there are also sparse fields north of the city where administrators are able to keep animals outdoors, though only in shifts. The ambient radiation outside is too high for prolonged exposure. I wonder how north these fields are as I've only seen scrub desert around Nishikyō in photos. The climate here is still harsh but cooler than most of the continent.

"Will scientists replicate cats and dogs and other house pets? I see them in movies but no one has owned one for hundreds of years."

Sakai ends our tour after the zoo and brings me back to the locker room after the main shift leaves for the evening.

"I believe so. They've been cataloged and stored, but none have been replicated. Fish are fairly prevalent as pets in the city, though, especially in Ku 6."

He takes our hazmat suits and places them in the auto-hamper, then smoothes out his clothing. I catch a glimpse of his tattoo again, and this time Sakai catches me peeking. His hand moves reflexively to his neck, and I turn away. I'm so curious. Now I definitely want to see those tattoos.

"Sanaa-chan..." Sakai's mood cools considerably. "Tomorrow, I'll be taking you to meet more people from my clan. Another sensei who you'll be training with for some time."

"What sort of training?" Aren't I already doing enough?

An employee enters the room and Sakai's eyes meet mine. He no longer wants to talk in front of anyone else. Whatever it is, I'll find out tomorrow.

# Chapter Six

The insomnia began a week ago. I've been ignoring the sleepless nights, pulling myself out of bed each morning and drinking more coffee each day. Tonight, though, all I can think about is the sad expression in the eyes of the animals I met today or the frustrated and crazed look on the technician's face who destroyed his work. Moving six million people to a new world will be the greatest achievement ever, and the other agencies are being pushed to the limit.

It's been weeks since I was at my former engineering job, and I miss it. I miss seeing my coworkers every day, especially Chad, and working towards a substantial goal. I've always been goal-oriented. Make a goal, achieve it, make a new one. Working without goals is pointless to me. Sifting through data for days on end is making me crazy.

Sakai is not helping. He tells me little about the work I'm doing even though he's opened up to me about my family. Those things he's told me make me angry and upset, but they have the ring of truth I'm unable to ignore. If my mother were here, would she disapprove of me spending my days with Sakai? Or would she be happy? I'm suddenly wishing she had kept a diary so I could read and find out. I hate myself for even thinking that.

Secret job. Secret boss. Secret work. Secretly keeping the clans of Nishikyō under surveillance until someone tells me what to do with the information I'm gathering. I haven't told Sakai, but on surveillance I've seen him, Jiro, and the other man he was with on New Year's Eve meeting with Minamoto, Taira, and Maeda. It was a strange out-of-body experience to find people I recognized on the videos. My heart beat at ten times its pace watching Jiro talk to these dangerous men. I had almost forgotten about him — almost — though Miko mentioned him in her messages. We had a connection for ten whole heart-stopping seconds, and the magic evaporated as quickly as it began. I was close to calling up his records in the GDB one day but stopped myself. Sakai would find out, and it's none of my business anyway when I'm certain Sakai and his family are the "good guys."

But how can a "good guy" like Sakai take me from everything I've ever known and thrust me into a job I don't want? What kind of sadistic bastard is he?

I roll over and punch my meager pillow. Pulling the blanket up over my shoulder, I listen to the sounds filtering in through my window from the back alley street below: a baby crying, a bike being ridden past, the murmured hum of two people talking in the street. I should be searching for my own place in the ward. I should be out having fun with my friends every night. I am not doing either of those things.

I fall asleep with thoughts of telling Sakai where he can put his plans for me.

The next day, I meet him as usual for breakfast, but I keep quiet instead of chatting like I normally do.

"Is something the matter? You're awfully pensive today."

I will do my best not to get angry. I am going to fail.

"Does it please you to take my life and turn it upside down?"

He frowns, his eyes narrowing. "Nothing pleases me that makes you upset. What's going on?"

"I just... you came in and changed everything in my life. Changed my job. Changed my opinion of my family. Changed my life from an honest one to one filled with lies. I don't even understand why you chose me, or what you hope to gain."

He is not saying anything. I hate when he does this.

"Why, Mark? Why? Would my mother have wanted this for me? I'm pretty certain she would have been happy with my life the way it was." I didn't want to cry in front of him, but it's too late. The tears are already rolling down my face. "I want to quit. I want to go back to my old job and live my life until it's time to go. Can you not just let me go?"

"I'm sorry. I can't. There's no place for you to go but here with me."

Ugh, this is not working and I'm getting even angrier. "What gives you the right to do this to me? Don't you have anything more important to do?" Instead of yelling, I'll belittle him.

He's silent... definitely not taking the bait.

"What you are doing now is more important than anything," Sakai says, crossing his arms. "Don't try and make me angry. Arguing with me is not going to change our situation. This is our path. We have to accept it."

I hate this. I don't want to accept it.

As I'm about to completely lose my mind on him, the wave of anger recedes and hopelessness comes over me instead. There's no place to go. No one I can turn to for help. I don't want to admit to my aunts what has happened to my job, my life. They are consummate worrywarts. I'd never hear the end of it.

I can do nothing now. This is my new life, and I have to accept it and move on before I drive myself insane with what-ifs.

We spend our morning in Ku 1 as always, and after lunch, Sakai escorts me directly to Ku 6, the Japanese Ward. I haven't been here since I was little. Emerging from the transitway station, colorful signs, blinking with bright orange, red, and blue displays or white backlit _kanji_ , _hiragana_ , and _katakana_ , jut out from every building. Ku 6 is even more busy than my Ku 9 ward, and the lack of English makes my head swirl. People swarm around Sakai and me to get down to the transitway platform before the station chimes end, jostling my shoulder and politely murmuring excuses as they descend. I step off to the side and press my back against a building covered in a graffiti-style mural, two white _kodama_ ghosts at the base of a thick tree.

I've seen all of this before, and it doesn't make it any less chaotic. Now I look upon the Ku 6 residents and wonder about which clans they affiliate themselves with, or I spy familiar men and women on the sidewalk I've never met before but watched on video. Spending all of my time scrutinizing surveillance footage has made me apprehensive about being here in person.

After a short walk from the train, we step up to an empty appliance dealer's storefront, its sign unlit. The doorway is like any other nondescript building on the block except for a small emblem stamped over the threshold: three petals of a flower arranged in a circle. I lightly run my fingers over the raised surface.

"This is the Sakai family _kamon_ , right? What is this flower?"

"The _katabami_. Like a clover, usually yellow."

"Do you live here?"

"No, I do not. Someone else from my clan owns this building. The storefront is to keep curious people away." He opens the door and leads me up two flights of stairs to a large room. The windows are draped in heavy fabrics. The floors covered with mats. I believe this is a dōjō, but there are no adornments whatsoever which is out of character. The room is tight and warm with hardly a breath of air. They should really open those windows. My eyes land on the corner and the rack of wooden swords, and I break into a cold sweat.

I'm not used to seeing weapons out in the open, though I've seen them on video. I can't tear my eyes from these. Police only carry nightsticks and guns were banned over three hundred years ago. Eliminating guns didn't stop the hand-to-hand violence nor the beatings some take with bats or stabbings with knives, but it removed truly deadly weapons from the populace.

Still, I draw the logical conclusion from wooden to metal swords. If people practice with the former, they are capable of using the latter. Everyone carrying a sword must be skilled enough to use one. Anxiety and fear start to buzz in the back of my head.

A young man about my age emerges from a doorway, and my stomach sinks. Oh no.

"Hello, Sanaa. It's nice to see you again." I didn't think I would meet Jiro so soon again after New Year's Eve. I figured Sakai was going to keep me in my little room forever and ever, and my wish for love and happiness would never be granted. But this? I didn't plan on this.

"Hi, Jiro..." is about all I can manage with a short bow, and I want to turn and deck Sakai for bringing me here with no prior warning. I glance at him, and he's trying not to smile. I'm going to kill him. I swear it.

Jiro calls out towards the doorway, "Father, they're here!" Jiro is staring at me with those eyes that laughed on New Year's Eve as he read his omikuji. The eyes that captured my attention so easily bore into me now, making me squirm inside. I'm paralyzed as to what to do, so I stand and wait.

Out of the same doorway comes the man who was with Sakai on New Year's Eve at Izakaya Tanaka. With his silver, close-cropped hair and scar on the left side of his jaw, he approaches me, smiling.

"Well, well, Mark. She is Junko's girl, for sure. The same face from when we were little."

Another person who knew my family. I'd be delighted if I weren't frozen in place. The two men nod to each other while I shift uncomfortably. I'm trying to keep my face as passive as possible but it's difficult. Jiro. I was sure I'd run into him eventually, what with Miko dating his older brother and Sakai and Jiro running errands all over the city together, but I was hoping it would be in some official capacity. Maybe I could flirt and talk to him. Maybe even ask him on a date. But Sakai said there'd be training today. This is a disaster.

Sakai clears his throat which makes me jump and jolts me out of my thoughts. Great. Sakai can already tell this is making me uncomfortable.

"Sanaa, this is Koichi Itō, and his son, Jiro, whom you've met before. As you've probably guessed, you will be learning to sword fight with them."

Fantastic. A guy who is totally my type and any prospect of romance is about to be submarined by a business relationship, a teacher-student relationship. How the hell am I going to pull this off when I've already flirted with him once before?

Jiro studies me, gauging me like Sakai often does. This must be a family trait. Looking at the three of them together, they are definitely related. They could all practically be triplets in their Nishikyō grays and solemn expressions. I turn to Sakai for reassurance as he lays a hand on my shoulder. This is not what I expected to happen today.

"I know your mother never cared for sword fighting, but since you're already more than proficient in karate, I figured this was the next logical step." Sakai turns to Jiro. "Don't think she can be easily defeated, Jiro."

Sakai is boasting about my skills? I want to tell him to shut up before he gets me in trouble, but he seems sincere. "She has her father's determination."

Sakai's eyes are hard on Jiro, and the two stare at each other stonily before Jiro gives in.

"Hmmm, we'll see," Jiro says, walking to the wall of wooden swords. Uh oh. I think I'm about to be tested. Too much talk.

He takes two of the smaller swords and tosses one to me which I fumble and drop on the ground. I'm so unprepared my face practically bursts into flames. I reach down and pick up the sword, copying Jiro's stance, but he hasn't made a move to lunge at me like I thought he would. Instead, he watches me stare at the sword.

"It's real wood," I exclaim. The strong grain weaves up the side, and I follow the wavering line all the way to the tip with my fingers. The sword is nicked and dented more times than I can count.

"We've had them for centuries." Jiro smiles at me, holding his sword tip-down in front of him. "Passed down through our family for generations. Newer ones are available, but they're all composite."

I heft the sword in my hand. Light but sturdy. Surely fighting with a sword can't be that different from fighting with your hands. What have I gotten myself into? I smile at him, and move a few steps back, my eyes set firmly on his sword.

Jiro lunges forward, and my sword clatters to the ground. Well, that didn't take long. He places his sword back in his obi belt tied around his waist and waits for me to pick the sword back up again, which I do.

I'm not one for being beaten without putting up a fight. This time, I attack first, but Jiro is so fast. He draws his sword and cuts down on my attack. My body moves left and down, putting me at Jiro's back. I want to stay loose and on my toes to get the advantage, but he reaches out so easily, and my sword is gone. Jiro's three subsequent slashes meet air as I dodge out of the way.

"Stop!" Sakai barks. "Sanaa, you have much to learn."

I stumble but pull myself up to bow to Jiro and Koichi. "I've never held a sword before! What did you all expect? I certainly wasn't going to let him hit me with that."

Jiro rolls his eyes, and I immediately want to hit him. Wow, he's cocky.

"If you think I would hurt you with this, you should give up now. I've been training with the sword all my life. I can fight and disarm you without ever even touching you." He moves in close to me, so close his breath is on my cheek. I freeze in place. He is intimidating, and I should be afraid of him, but I'm not. In fact, he just became ten times more attractive, and blood is rushing to my neck. Calm your beating heart, Sanaa. "You _will_ learn."

"Possibly the hard way," Koichi says.

I narrow my eyes at him. "We'll see about that." Obviously, I'm a glutton for punishment. I pick up the sword. "Again."

Jiro comes at me high and this time I'm prepared for the force of his attack. I block left, then right, and parry a lunge, but he is fast and comes back at my side on the rebound. The touch of his sword is light against my ribs, arrogantly showing me I've lost. Anger causes me to fall away from the sword and kick out at his feet on the way down. With a yell, he falls on top of me, and our swords fly in opposite directions.

"Get off of me!" I push him hard, one hand on his face, and the other on his chest, and surprisingly, he's laughing.

"You fight dirty. This is not kickboxing... but I like it."

"Like it, huh?" I see a twinkle in his eye. That can't be good. "What is this anyway? Kill or be killed?"

Jiro looks to his father with raised eyebrows, and Koichi chuckles.

"Sword fighting... Well, _iaido_ at least, is not meant for slaying an opponent although that was the reason the discipline came about in the first place. Jiro only wanted to teach you a hard lesson. Sakai tells me you're a brown belt in karate."

Sakai knows everything about me. Now I'm wondering who else he's talked to.

"Yes, I am. I enjoy karate, but I just practice for the health and, well, mental benefits. I used to go all the time, until _someone_ took away my freedom." I place my hands on my hips, turning from Sakai.

Koichi nods. "You will do the same here. Jiro and I will teach you the _kata_ of iaido. When we feel like you've made progress, we'll put them to practice. You may never spar with him again, if you don't wish to. Sakai and I both think it's important for you to have a partner your own age to learn from."

"To what end?" I look to Sakai. "Why would _I_ need to use a sword? What's the point, Mark?"

Koichi looks incredulously at Sakai, and he clears his throat. "She calls you by your first name?" Koichi laughs again. "My, my."

Despite myself, I smile too. Koichi is a lot less stern than Sakai. Maybe he'll be easier to understand and get along with.

"The point, Sanaa, is to learn more about our culture. You have been too far removed from being Japanese for too long... And I expect this may come in handy someday."

That is all he will say on the matter.

Sakai leaves me in the hands of Koichi and Jiro for the rest of the day, and they start by showing me the beginning kata of iaido. It is not a fast-paced sword fighting like I thought. Iaido is slow and deliberate, each action precisely made and timed.

"Iaido is not the furious sword fighting of kendo. It is the full mind-and-body study of drawing the blade, cutting down your opponent, and returning the _katana_ to its scabbard after it's been cleaned. We start from seiza." Koichi sits down on the mat facing me in seiza, and I join him.

Seiza is a traditional Japanese way of sitting I'm quite familiar with. Those who never sit seiza find the position uncomfortable, but I've spent most of my life in seiza, so it's never bothered me. I first kneel then bring my butt straight down onto my heels and, allowing my feet to relax outwards, I settle myself directly on them. I rest my hands on my upper thighs like Koichi does.

"For this, I ask that you do not sit with your legs together. You must separate them by a few centimeters."

This is the opposite of how most women sit, but I do as I'm told and wait while Jiro sits next to me. He gives me a short nod after examining my form.

"Traditionally, men and women practiced iaido in _montsuki_ , _obi_ , and _hakama_. Since you will be practicing every day, we practice as is, but you will need a belt from which to draw your sword. We have some here for you."

"Will I be using a real sword?" It seems crazy to let any beginner use a real sword. But I can be crazy if that's what's required. I may be reserved towards others, but I swear I have a wild streak. My crazy side is just buried deep under all the outward respect I'm conditioned to give, especially to elders and strangers. Miko and Helena have seen plenty.

"No, we will use the wooden swords for now. All of our katana are family heirlooms and would most likely be damaged in beginning practice. You'll learn the forms first, and we'll provide you with a sword later so you can learn to draw from the scabbard, or _saya_ , and return it properly. This is not the same way our ancestors learned, but we do what we can." Koichi adjusts his sitting position placing his wooden sword on the ground before him and comes to a low, respectful bow. Jiro and I follow.

"Now Jiro will demonstrate the first kata."

Jiro rises and walks a suitable distance away from the two of us. Though I'm supposed to be examining his technique, I cannot keep my eyes off his face. I study his strong chin and long hair with the white streak over his ear that comes loose if he moves his head too much. My mouth is dry with desire. Already I'm a goner. I have to force myself to concentrate on the lesson.

Koichi narrates while Jiro demonstrates. "Start in seiza. Your opponent is attacking you from the front. Remove your blade while coming up on one knee and cut across and away from your body with the blade turned out. Grasp the sword with both hands, and cut straight down from above. Bring the sword's grip, in your right hand, to your right temple, and then, in a sweeping motion you will fling the blood from the blade over your head, across your body, and down. Return the blade to its sheath. Stand and take two steps back."

Jiro's face is quiescent and peaceful as he accurately carries out each movement. His concentration is intense, and the way he moves without even thinking, instinctive-like, is admirable. This is the same peace of mind I strive towards when practicing karate. Immediately, I envy his form and know I'll do anything to be as good. I'm determined to show them both I am the ideal student.

Thankfully, I'm only boastful in my head.

"Now," Koichi says as he rises to his feet. "Jiro will teach you. I have other business to attend to." He bows to us both and leaves the room without another word.

I watch him go with mounting panic and realize I will be practicing with Jiro alone. I get the feeling this was done on purpose. Jiro's going to be hard on me, I know it. I deserve as much after playing dirty earlier.

My entire body deflates.

"No worries, Sanaa," he says with a smile. "I promise not to be too hard on you."

Another person who can read my mind. I'm horrible at hiding my feelings. I wish I had never flirted with him because now I'm going to be so humiliated as he whips me into shape. I was sure he flirted with me, too, but now, the way he keeps his distance and his tone polite, I'm questioning whether or not anything happened at all. In fact, with his strict demeanor turned to me in full, I'm positive I'm wrong about the whole attraction. He was just humoring me on New Year's Eve.

I'll try to forget and work on letting Jiro be my instructor. What else can I do?

"I want to learn," I say, stepping back from him. "Please don't coddle me."

"Okay by me. Let's begin."

When Sakai returns in the late afternoon, I'm a sweaty, panting mess, and Jiro is only a little fatigued.

"Sanaa is an excellent student, Sakai-san. I have no doubt she'll be a master in no time." I could cry, but instead I let out a heartfelt chuckle and fall down to the mat with a thump. Jiro shakes his head with a smile and gathers our swords.

"He's joking, of course. I was lucky to follow along only about thirty percent of the time."

"Did you spar again?"

"No. I think once is enough for now, don't you?" I can't wipe the smile off my face. It was the best practice ever. I love when I get my butt kicked.

"To be honest, I regret letting you spar earlier, but you seemed... determined." He grasps my hand and pulls me to my feet. "I also knew Jiro would not injure you."

Jiro strips down to his bare chest and throws his shirt into the auto-hamper to be cleaned. I'm mesmerized by how striking he is, and I'm unable to look away. Not only is Jiro built in a way that only comes from constant exercise but the tattoos on his chest and shoulders are a complete shock to me. My feet move without thinking, and completely forgetting myself, I walk over to him. I don't know anyone with tattoos (except Sakai), but I love them and have always wanted some of my own, though Aunt Kimie would disown me.

"Ah, beautiful." It takes all my effort to stop from reaching out and touching him. Instead, I pull my hand to my mouth to halt a sigh. The colors swirl up over his chest, grazing his neck and falling over the top of his shoulders. Motifs of green and brown. Is that grass and trees? And the Sakai family kamon, three-petaled flower ring, in the center of his back. "A forest and your family crest. Wow."

He stares hard at me, trying to decide if I approve or not. He's not showing the least amount of embarrassment for being half-naked and exposed, and I'm certainly not going to complain. "It's fields of rice bordered by a forest and, yes, the Sakai family crest." He twists at the waist to show his upper back again. The motif is etched on his upper shoulders as well.

"But you're so young."

"You sound like my father," he says with a laugh. My face falls. "I'm twenty-two. If I want tattoos, I get them. I started when I was fourteen."

Sakai has tattoos as well. Perhaps I should be watching surveillance footage for tattoo parlors in Ku 6 during my next fact-finding session.

"Well, they're lovely. I've always loved tattoos." And Jiro's body tattooed is not bad either. A chill goes through me and raises goosebumps on my arms as he turns to collect a new shirt from his bag. Beautiful, indeed.

# Chapter Seven

Days one through five of training with Jiro start out fine but progressively get more uncomfortable as each session ends. I walk in every afternoon after lunch, dressed in my Nishikyō grays, close the door quietly behind me, and try to strike up an easy conversation with Jiro. At first he seems pleased to talk with me, but our eyes slide to the cameras watching us, and the chatting dies off. I get the feeling, based on Jiro's sullen sighs every time he glances up, whomever is watching does not want us being friendly with each other. By the end of a week together, he's professional and closed-up, so I stop trying to talk to him. He has assumed a teacher's role, and I am the student. What can I do? It's not like we can date under these circumstances anyway.

Sakai knew what he was doing when he employed Jiro to train me because he is an amazing partner. He pushes me to the limit and never once coddles me like I asked him not to. I love the sword fighting. My situation with Jiro is awkward, but I look forward to each afternoon especially when the kata start to make sense to me. Koichi joins us too, and he is quick to compliment me when I get a move right which only makes me work harder. My small accomplishments give me hope I won't have to just get by. I may actually be good.

Jiro is bold enough to always exercise without the constraint of a shirt (I love it and try not to stare), but then again it's quite impossible not to. The dōjō is excessively hot. Air flow to this section of the ward must not be working properly. If we could open the windows we could get some relief, but they're closed for a reason. I doubt they want to broadcast to the neighborhood we're sword fighting in here every day.

During our second week in the dōjō, we have one incident when I stupidly get in Jiro's way and injure my shoulder. My mind is so distracted with work, and not thinking, I stumble into his sword. "Shit, Sanaa!" he yells at me. "Haven't I been teaching you to fall away from the sword when you see it coming? How could you be so careless?" I almost walk out on him because I'm so embarrassed by his harsh reaction. I have such a crush on him and to hear him yell at me? I harness every bit of strength I have not to cry in front of him and instead let loose my tears in the bathroom. When I return to the mats, Jiro is calmer and reassures me it'll never happen again. His apology keeps me from quitting, and the event changes everything for us. He suggests we take breaks and talk more regardless of the cameras, and on the ride home afterward, I can't stop smiling.

After four weeks of practicing every day, I can tell I'm starting to impress Jiro. He is slowly losing the stern look to his face, and he smiles more often when I complete a movement correctly. Every evening, I replay the little conversation we had on New Year's Eve in my head wondering if he was interested in me or not. It's hard to tell. Things are definitely easier between us, but it's not like we're openly flirting with each other.

He can be talkative and sweet, but also serious, so just like the first few days of our practice, I do my best to keep him engaged. On the train from Ku 1 to Ku 6, I sit and think of what to say or ask him so I can walk in the door and start up a conversation like we're the best of friends. Believing it is part of the process.

Previous questions include: How long have you trained? "Since I could hold a sword." Where do you live? "With my brother about six blocks from here. My parents live in the same building two floors up, but I moved out with him when he turned twenty." Are you still in school? "No, I finished early last year and work for my father and Sakai-san now." He asks me questions too, and we often end up talking for some time before beginning. Damn, I have it bad for him. He is smart and funny but always reverts to his quietude, especially when practicing.

Today, I'm more comfortable than usual and want to ask him personal questions about what he does outside of training me. I take up his afternoons, but what does he do with the rest of his day?

"Jiro," I ask as we're taking a water break between sessions. We've been working on forms all afternoon, and I'm trying to pretend I'm not tired, but he's noticed my arms sagging under the weight of the sword. The insomnia is taking its toll on my body. "What do you do when you're not practicing? Not working?"

I stare at the floor or my water glass. I'm never sure if I'm overstepping my bounds with him. Teacher or friend? What role does he think he plays?

"What? You mean for fun? What's that?" He laughs, and it makes me blush. I love his laugh. It reminds me of Sakai.

"Yes, fun. I know you've heard of it. An elusive concept, I'm sure."

"Well, lately, I go out with my brother a lot. I like to walk the ward when it's quiet..." he pauses. He must be debating telling me. "I draw."

Hmmm, this is unexpected. I thought he might be into a sport or something. "Draw? As in, illustrate?"

"Yes, don't look so surprised."

"No, no." The blush is not going away. It's so irritating when my body won't listen to my mind. Stop being so obvious! "Well, I am a little surprised. It wasn't an answer I expected."

We sit in silence for a moment, and I concentrate on cooling myself down.

"I'm horrible at drawing," I confess. "My mind is too analytical. Best I can do is schematics and diagrams. I wanted to learn but gave up when I became too frustrated."

He smiles at me and pokes me in the shoulder with his elbow. "I can see that. You want to break down iaido into perfect movements and get upset when you can't do them right away."

"You noticed, huh? I'm glad you keep pushing me... So what do you draw?"

He turns his glass around in his hand. "This and that. Images that are clear in my mind. Sometimes just places in the ward. I often pick a spot and sit with my tablet and draw whatever's in front of me. But sometimes I imagine places I've never been and draw them too."

"Like where?" I imagine him sitting with his eyes closed and calling up the same images in his head I do when I think of Yūsei or Earth before the Environmental Decline.

"The old cities. Forests, fields, trees." He takes a deep breath and sighs. "Places I hope to see in my lifetime."

"On Yūsei. I know. I think a lot about what life will be like there. Oceans, the sky, and clouds. Sunsets. I've only ever seen pictures of them. Wait. Did you draw your tattoos?" I ask but I'm sure of the answer.

"Yep." He looks down at himself and over his shoulder, and I follow. I love looking at him. I hope my aunts aren't home later. I have sexual tension I need to get rid of, and I doubt I can call up Chad and meet him at a love hotel ever again. I'm now spoiled by Jiro's gorgeous body. "I drew the outline when I was fourteen. We've been adding to it ever since."

"You have someone you work with?"

"Yeah, she's amazing. Has helped me translate my line drawing into this." I love his tattoos so much. The colors are so rich. I hope they stay like that forever.

I drink the remainder of my water, knowing our rest has almost come to an end.

Clearing my throat, I feel the nerves wanting to make my hands shake. "I'd love to see your other drawings. I mean, if you wanted to show them to me. You don't have to, of course." Stop stammering, Sanaa.

"I've only ever shown my mother," he says, standing and offering a hand to help me up.

"Oh, okay. Well..." Stupid. That's just too personal, I guess.

"We'll see."

Huh. "We'll see _"_ is a whole lot better than no. Maybe I'll win him over yet.

# Chapter Eight

The next day, I'm daydreaming away the usual ride from Ku 1 to Ku 6 with Sakai at my side. After watching people interact with each other on camera, I think about the people I'm now spending all of my time with: Sakai, Koichi, and Jiro. I gather Sakai thinks the highest of the Itōs. He always listens to their opinions or works with Koichi on whatever goes on in the back room of the dōjō. They seem very tight knit.

"How do you know the Itōs? Besides being in the same clan and all," I ask.

"Koichi and I share the same father. My mother died when I was young much like you, and I took her last name because their marriage was a clan match. My father remarried fairly quickly, but only because he had met Hisako in school when they were kids. Koichi and I are only two years apart."

I knew they were related. They all share the same features, the same laugh and smile.

"So Jiro is your half-nephew?"

"The 'half' part of our family never mattered. I know no other mother than Hisako and no other brother than Koichi."

We sit in silence for a while before Sakai responds to a ping on his tablet.

"There's been a change of plans. My contact in Ku 10 has said we can come this afternoon."

Oh, how exciting! But, oh no, I don't want to miss practicing with Jiro though going to Ku 10 is also a big deal. As the Farming Ward, it's an area of the city you visit if you work there, much like Ku 8. No one lives in Ku 10 — it is industry-only — so getting in and out requires special access. Sakai does know people in the right places.

"We'll go pick up Jiro, and we'll be off."

"He's coming with us?" I say a silent "yay" and do my best to not show my happiness, but Sakai already sees it all over my face.

"Yes," he says, smiling back at me. "I figured he'd want to come too. He's been several times but never to just visit the facilities, always on business. Koichi was saying recently that Jiro doesn't get out enough." He looks at me steadily. "You're not falling for him, are you?"

"What? Me?" I stammer out. Oh shit. Now, I'm sure everyone can tell I'm attracted to Jiro, including Jiro.

"Well, I saw you two on New Year's Eve and wondered what would happen when I put you together for sword fighting."

"So, did you know you were going to have me work for you that night?" It never occurred to me the first night we met, he already had plans for me.

He reaches over and puts his hand over mine. "I've known for years. New Year's Eve was a fluke. A chance meeting. I had followed your schooling and training for years but never your personal life. I was surprised on New Year's Eve to run into you."

To think, he's been watching me and following me all these years. If I didn't already feel some trust and respect for him, I would say that was downright creepy. But no, instead his interest makes me proud, like a father watching his daughter succeed in life. I take his hand and squeeze it.

"Now, as for Jiro..." He smiles at me. "Remember he's to teach you how to sword fight. Anything else is, well, it's none of my business."

If that's not a blessing, I don't know what is.

We go to the dōjō, pick up Jiro, and get back on the train for Ku 10. I purposely sit across from Jiro and do my best to make eye contact with him. I can't stop thinking about the conversation I just had with Sakai. If he can tell I'm interested in Jiro, who else can? I certainly don't want Jiro to be uncomfortable with training me if I like him and he has no interest in me, but does he even know? I stopped actively flirting with him weeks ago because of the cameras in the dōjō and took to being friendly. I wish I could read other people's minds as well as they all can read mine. Sometimes I'm way too analytical and logical for my own good. Math and science are my strengths, not feelings and emotions.

There. I've got Jiro's attention, and I do my best to smile, but I'm so self-conscious talking to him in front of Sakai now.

"Have you been to Ku 10, Sanaa-chan?"

Mmmm, I love when he calls me Sanaa-chan.

"Nope. Never. Mark says you've been?" I'm trying to keep my voice even and barely succeeding.

"Yes, several times, but never for fun. Usually in and out for meetings."

Jiro's tablet in his bag pings. "Sorry. Hold on a second."

These are the times when I hate technology. While Jiro reads whatever was just sent to him and types out his response, I stare out the window and think of Ku 10 instead of him.

What do I know of Ku 10 already? The Farming Ward is the largest district of Nishikyō covering hundreds of square kilometers. Most of the ward is domed except for the hydroponics towers. In the towers, I expect items like rice, wheat, soy, and corn are being cultivated because, as I said, I'm a science girl. Everything we eat can be derived from these four basic ingredients. In addition, many other additives and ingredients are produced to make up for the fact we humans like variety. Mushrooms, root vegetables, and greens are a part of my normal diet as well.

I doubt we'll get much farther than the hydroponics towers today though. Ku 10 is so big and consists of hundreds of factories churning out everything from food to drinks to packaging. Nishikyō recycles ninety-eight percent of what we use, and those materials are also handled in Ku 10. All of our raw fabrics and textiles come from Ku 10 as well, though most of the dyeing and sewing is done in the main parts of the city. Aunt Lomo loves to sew. I've often gone to fabric stores with her when she's in need of something.

_Ping!_ Now my tablet is alerting me to new mail.

I've managed to ignore Chad for several weeks, and he's writing me again. What kind of a horrible friend am I?

" _I swear I haven't seen you in months. I'd like to talk to you soon. Will you please write me back so we can get together? I hope you're all right. Chad._ "

Sigh. I can't not respond but I need to be quick. We're almost at Ku 10.

"So sorry. I'm at an off-site assignment, and I've been away for weeks. I'll let you know when I'm back in the office. Sanaa."

I quickly turn off my tablet and put it in silent mode. I don't want Jiro to see what I'm doing, but I needn't worry about that because Jiro and Sakai are staring at each other and not saying anything at all. They're strange sometimes.

We pull into the Ku 10 station, and when we get up to disembark from the train, Jiro puts his hand on my back with a smile and says, "After you."

Knees, don't fail me now.

"Thanks," I say smiling back, and I don't even blush. I'm getting better at this. I lead both men off and find the entrance to Ku 10 is the exact twin of Ku 8.

I hesitate at the exit. "Is this going to be like the Extinction Ward?"

"You mean with the radiation and the suits?" Sakai shakes his head. "No, the farming district is very hardy, practically disease-resistant these days. We have a failed rice crop every so often but usually due to water temperature levels which are exceedingly hard to control."

Sakai scans his palm and walks ahead, but Jiro grabs my arm before I can move forward.

"Radiation and suits? What's he talking about?"

"I'll tell you on the way in," I say as I pull and push him towards the palm scanner. We walk the long hallway side-by-side, and I recount our trip to the Extinction Ward with descriptions of all the artifacts and animals I saw that day. I'm smiling again thinking of the animals. Maybe I don't understand people, but I had a connection with those furry faces. The trip to Ku 8 feels like ages ago, though it's only been a month. Time is flying; the beginning of March is passing in a blur.

Sakai opens a large metal door that looks suspiciously like an airlock and leads us inside the first Ku 10 chamber. We step onto a metal gangway which spirals up and down the walls of a large cement enclosure. The enclosure has to be at least 100 meters wide in diameter and the brightest area I have ever seen. My eyesight is overcome by the pure white light, and I reach out to grab Sakai's arm for fear of falling over the edge.

"Stand and let your eyes adjust before we start walking. This is the first of twenty-five hydroponic towers, and each contains eight levels per chamber. Crops are swapped out and moved every couple of weeks."

When I'm used to the light, I move to the railing and look up and down. Each level stretches across the width of the chamber. My hair ruffles with the constant movement of air from giant fans in the ceiling, and the whoosh of water in pipes leading to and from each level is calming. People are pushing past us on either side, so I move back against the wall to let them pass. On the floor in front of us stretches a huge expanse of green grass.

"It's a rice paddy," Jiro says and indeed it is. The same tall grass in water is depicted on Jiro's shoulders, a symbol of long gone Japan being grown here in the most modern way possible.

"We'll only have a chance to walk this tower and the next one today." Sakai starts down the gangway. "If you want to come back, I'm sure I can arrange another visit. Everything picked here is shipped to the refineries on the outskirts of this ward to be processed."

"Mark, will we be growing things like this on Yūsei? I thought we would return to the old ways of cultivating the soil outside again."

"It's possible we could eventually, but in the meantime, our people will need to eat, so facilities like this will be constructed on Yūsei as well. We don't know what we'll find on our new home world. The soil could be unworkable for many years, or there may be native wildlife or microbes we'll have to contend with. The soil could be devoid of minerals or the sun may not provide enough UV rays to allow the crops to grow. Granted, we have teams of people working on ways to combat all these problems. Contingency plans upon contingency plans."

Sakai continues to lead Jiro and me down the spiral. The gangway curves along the outside rim of the enclosure and at every half-turn of the circumference, a new level is available. The best part about this set-up is workers have access to both sides of the hydroponics units, top and bottom. On the next tier down, workers are directing bots in the harvest of rice, and another set of bots are right behind, cleaning and prepping the level for more crops. It's a complex dance of man and machine I find completely fascinating. Jiro stops and stands to watch with me.

"This whole building is an amazing feat of engineering, and there are twenty-five of them."

He smiles at me, and I feel the warmth from him again he only gives when I'm being straight with him.

"The air in here is so fresh. I kind of expected it to be stifling hot." The cool breeze created by the fans is soft and rich with oxygen, and I close my eyes and breathe deeply. The air reminds me of when Nishikyō turned on the fans on New Year's Eve and cooled us all off. I could get used to working in an area like this.

"Heat exchange is important in hydroponics. All of the lighting creates heat, so the water needs to be cooled, constantly recycled, and aerated," Sakai says.

"You know a lot about hydroponics, Mark."

"I fast-tracked in hydroponics when I was a kid. If I weren't working for the family now, I would be here." He walks ahead of us and out to a platform to greet an older Japanese man. This must be someone he's friends with because they immediately clasp hands and start talking. Jiro and I stay behind, leaning on the railing and watching the workers.

"I love that you call him Mark." Jiro laughs at me. "I've never seen anyone so informal with my uncle, and he allows it."

I can't help but smile at his laughter. "He told _me_ to call him Mark."

"Really? I've never heard anyone except for my parents call him anything but Sakai-san."

"How come you don't call him uncle?"

"Because he's the head of my house," he says matter-of-factly, "and it wouldn't be respectful. He's only Sakai or Sakai-san. Never anything else."

The thought hadn't occurred to me until now that Sakai earns and demands a lot of respect from other people. I sometimes forget he's the head of a family.

"Hmmm. I wouldn't want others to think I didn't respect him. Maybe I shouldn't call him Mark in front of other people."

"Oh no," he says while giving my arm a little squeeze. "If he told you to, you should definitely do it. I'm sure he has his reasons. It's just another side of him I've never seen before. You've softened him a bit."

"He seems the same to me." He started off fairly cold with me, but over the past few weeks, we've been closer. The way he held my hand on the train today was something he's never done before. Still... "Perhaps that's not such a good thing?"

"No. He's been too rigid for too long. He doesn't make enough decisions from the heart, only from the head. Balance between the two is important. We're all human beings, not machines."

I'm sure Jiro's heart makes the majority of his choices. He is passionate but steady, always answering my questions with, what I believe to be, complete honesty. As he watches his uncle talking, his eyes take in the entire platform, absorbing every detail and putting it away for future use. Quiet and analytical much like me.

" _Osaki ni_. Let's keep walking, and Sakai will catch up to us." He nods at Sakai who is watching us while continuing his conversation. Do I detect a small smile on Sakai's face? Whatever it was, it was fleeting.

We stroll in silence for a few minutes sliding through the controlled chaos churning around us. People of all ages working together, gathering data, or hauling crops from one level to the next. We pass a woman standing off to the side, her tablet interfaced with the nearest terminal, monitoring levels in the hydroponics units. Everyday work. I haven't done anything like this in months now. I used to be a part of the well-oiled machine, clocking in and out each day, turning in reports, and making plans for the colonization. I did my job and never questioned the sanity of my insane workload. It was what everyone did.

"Why do I not run into you around Ku 6?" Jiro asks, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Ku 6? Oh, I don't know. I live in Ku 9 so it's not like Ku 6 is right next door or anything."

"But your family grew up in Ku 6. It's where we live." Jiro says _we_ as if I'm a part of some over-arching thing, and I immediately feel like an outcast. The only _we_ I've ever been a part of is Nishikyō or my family. How is it I've gone twenty years without exploring either side of my family? I live with my Japanese aunts, but we don't do Japanese things besides the basics. My other side of the family wants nothing to do with me.

"We? Like where the Japanese live?" I'm having trouble keeping the challenging tone out of my voice. He must have heard my agitation because he keeps silent. This is not how I wanted to talk to Jiro about my family. Check your temper, Sanaa. "My aunt didn't like going back to Ku 6 so we never went."

"Something to do with your family?"

"You could say that. She and her father, my grandfather, didn't get along. So when he died, she stayed away. Until recently, I had been to Ku 6 only two or three times and certainly not within the last fifteen years."

"I can't imagine being away from all the things that are the center of our culture. So you've never attended the _kabuki_ plays or _taiko_ drumming concerts?"

"No. Never." Had I really missed out on these things? Sakai told me I had missed out on everything I should have learned growing up in Ku 6, and now Jiro's questions are hollowing out my stomach.

"Before I worked for Mark, I was an engineer in the Colonization department, as you know. I fast-tracked in school so I was pretty busy in my own ward."

"But you've been to Izakaya Tanaka in 7. Many times."

This brings me to a halt. I try to stop a smile from forming but it's only making me blush. "Uh, yeah. How do you know that?"

"I haven't seen you at the izakaya in the last month, so I asked Miko about you."

"You asked... Miko?" Miko. Miko. Why didn't Miko message me? I'm on the verge of hyperventilating right now.

He smiles at me. "Only a few days ago."

What do I say? Remember, Sanaa, what you told yourself on New Year's Eve about making your own wishes come true?

"I could meet you there sometime, if you like." I start to rush through my thoughts. "I usually go out in the evenings and review my work. I can't do what I do in front of Helena and Miko, so I've avoided the izakaya. But I could come. I mean, if you wanted me to." Oh gods, shut up, Sanaa, before you say anything stupid.

"I'd like that. Though I guess you can't go often."

"No. There's a lot of data to parse, and I tend to work in the evenings."

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I wait for a response from him. I don't have the best history of relationships so far. I ran after Joshua hard. I was so in love with him, enough to give him my virginity and withstand his constant mood swings and crazy behavior. I found him incredibly sexy, but he was only attracted to me when he was drunk, and I pretended not to care. Then I went in the total opposite direction with Chad, just sex with someone I don't even love.

What the hell am I doing? I'm sick in love again, and I don't know if dating my teacher is a good idea or not. But this conversation has my hopes up. Finally, Jiro is showing interest in me. Maybe I can make time to go to the izakaya once per week and see everyone. It's a lofty goal what with all I have in front of me with Sakai, but I'm going to try even though I expect this work will become more intricate and involved. I haven't even started searching for criminal activities yet, and I'm sure I'll find plenty.

I think I'm starting to finally miss my old job less and less.

"Tomorrow night, Sanaa-chan."

"What, Jiro-kun?" I was lost in my own thoughts about work again.

He laughs and his eyes are bright. They remind me a lot of Sakai. "Jiro-kun. That's the first time you've ever called me that."

Really? Maybe I've said it in my head a hundred times and never out loud. My face is blushing again. I wish it would stop doing that. When I look away to keep myself from being too embarrassed, I spy Sakai's feet above us making his way towards our location.

Jiro clears his throat. "Tomorrow night. Izakaya Tanaka. Seven o'clock."

"I'll be there." I'm mentally running through my list of prepared lies to tell Aunt Kimie and Lomo about why I will be home and sweaty right after training with Jiro. I would like to show up at the izakaya not looking as if I just came from exercising all afternoon. I wish I had my own place.

Sakai has reached us now. "Come you two. We're going up top."

He leads us to an elevator that creaks and groans all the way to the top of the next chamber over. It is essentially an open cage on a pulley system, nothing as high-tech as the ones in the living quarters. But, as we ascend, layer upon layer of green cabbage and lettuce stretch out before us. Green, green, green as far as I can see.

We leave the elevator and walk down a long corridor with a door at the end.

"We'll just go through here and outside." Before I can register what Sakai is saying, he opens the door, and we step into the outdoors. A blast of hot, dry air hits me in the face, the impossibly bright sun beating down on my head through a translucent tarp. We're standing on the edge of a rock garden in the open air.

My thoughts are blank. I try to look around, but I'm paralyzed. I have never (never!) been outside of the city in my life. I can't think of one person I know who has ever seen the sky or breathed air not circulated through Nishikyō a million times over. I will my feet to move forward and follow Sakai and Jiro, but my knees are weak. I only make it about a meter before being frozen altogether.

I instinctively look at the ground. " _Just look at the ground!"_ my brain screams at me. I register green succulent plants growing in little urns amongst tan colored gravel, but they're fuzzy around the edges. Next to them sits an empty watering can I fix my eyes on. I do not move. Moving would be a mistake.

Everything entering my head is roaring and distorted, but I think I hear Sakai speaking to me. I raise my head a millimeter, and he's approaching me. No. He's grabbing my hand and leading me out farther past the tarp. Stop!

Blue.

All I see is empty, blue space forever, and then the world tips over and falls on top of me before turning black.

# Chapter Nine

"Sanaa, can you hear me?"

I feel the press of lips against my forehead and warm hands on either side of my face. I'm sure that's Sakai, and the roaring in my brain is starting to sound like water rushing through pipes instead. I'm not boiling hot anymore, so I chance to open my eyes and find myself inside the door with a view of the ceiling. Both Sakai and Jiro are crouched over me, concerned, and my head throbs.

"What happened? Why does my head hurt?" My mouth is completely dry, my tongue withered and unusable.

"You went down like a sack of bricks. I think you hit your head. We'll get you some ice."

"I've never seen anything like that," Jiro says, his eyes wide. I realize he's holding my hand, so I squeeze it.

"I... I'm okay." I try to sit up, but Sakai puts his hands on my shoulders, and I lie back down.

"You looked up and, before I knew it, you were on the ground."

I lie silent for a moment thinking about the sky, the rock garden, the watering can. It _did_ happen. I'm not imagining things.

"I've never been outside before. All the heat... and the air. The blue sky was crushing me, then the world spun around... and I blacked out?"

Nothing is making sense. Everything was too frightening. Both Jiro and Sakai sit in silence, and I burst into tears when the shock on their faces doesn't fade.

"What was that? Why did that happen to me? I was so helpless. I couldn't move."

Sakai brushes the hair off my face. "Can you sit up now? I think you had a panic attack."

I pull myself up and am relieved to find the world staying in one place. But a panic attack? Blowing all the breath from my lungs, I take a deeper, calming one.

"I didn't feel panicked. It was like a part of my brain turned off."

"May be agoraphobia. Doctors working on the colonization say forcing people who have lived inside all their lives to live outside might be difficult. I think it might be more difficult than they thought."

I wipe the tears from my face with my free hand. I am not letting go of Jiro.

"I couldn't help it. Never been outside before."

Sakai nods. "We'll have to desensitize you."

Now I am starting to panic. No, no, no. The blue sky will suck me up and spit me out into space. It's a wonder gravity even works outside. No, I will not go outside again. Deep breath.

But then I look at Sakai and realize I'm not going to get away with staying inside for the rest of my life. Nishikyō does not exist on Yūsei. No domed city. Everyone will live outside. Oh gods, what a nightmare.

Sakai stands up, and Jiro pulls me to my feet before letting go of my hand. I want to snatch his hand back and hold on forever. I'm cold and alone without it. Instead, I hug myself.

"I want to go home now."

"Okay. Okay."

Sakai leads us out of the ward and back to the train. I would give anything to forget this day. Well, at least everything that happened from the elevator ride on.

I head straight home and take a nap before having a quiet meal with my aunts. Today was so confusing, and I can't concentrate on their conversations. Aunt Kimie asks me about work and all I'm able to say is I have tonight and tomorrow night off. Everything else about my attitude, I blame on the crazy workload.

After dinner, I sit in bed with my tablet reading over news stories and exchanging messages with Miko. She's been happy but misses me. I've missed her and Helena, too. I'm glad Miko will be at the izakaya tomorrow night with Yoichi because I'm dying to see a friendly face. Helena is working a double-shift tomorrow, so it'll just be us.

" _I'm so excited you managed to talk to Jiro!_ " she writes. " _How did that happen?_ "

I think for a moment about what lie I'm going to tell this time to keep everybody in line. This is getting difficult. Eventually, this web of lies I've woven is going to disintegrate, and someone, probably me, will be hurt.

I better go for a half-lie.

"Well, you know I love karate, and I wanted to try something else. He's teaching me sword fighting. But you can't tell Aunt Kimie because she'll freak out."

There's silence for at least three minutes, and I sit and watch the clock waiting for Miko to write back.

" _Wow. Sword fighting? Really?_ "

I shocked her.

"Yeah, he came... recommended."

" _Okay. Somehow I can't imagine you wielding a sword, but... Fine._ "

You're not the only one, Miko.

"I've only trained with him a few times in between long shifts, and it was weird with Jiro at first. I have a huge crush on him, and I have no idea if he even likes me. Can we not be too forward about it tomorrow? Please?"

If I don't come right out and ask her to do this for me, she'll make some sort of silly comment and embarrass us all. She and Helena know how much I loved Joshua and teased me about it constantly until we broke up and he started making fun of me in front of other people. Chad was how I coped. I hate being embarrassed, and if I go through it again with Jiro, I may never recover.

" _Sure. You know I'll be polite and sweet. I'm happy to see you try someone else._ "

A new message pops up, but lo and behold, it's from Jiro. My finger hovers over the screen before tapping on the alert.

" _I hope you're all right after today. How's your head?_ " he writes. I reach up and touch the back of my skull, but thankfully, a bump never formed. I must be more hard-headed than I thought.

Miko's messages are flashing in the background, but I'm going to ignore them.

"Fine, actually. No bump. Just tired. Been a long day... Well, long few months. I don't sleep much at night."

" _Me neither. Too much to think about._ "

Is it too much to ask he's thinking about me? I'm needy. I really am.

"I lie around for hours and hours staring at the ceiling and letting my brain work."

" _No wonder you've been so tired at practice. Don't think I haven't noticed._ "

I've never been good at hiding my fatigue. Aunt Kimie says I've always been a great napper. As a kid, I would keep slowing down until someone stuck me in bed, and then I'd sleep for hours at a time. I'm still like this. Jiro commented on my exhaustion once a few weeks ago, and I brushed it off and asked that we never talk about it, and he hasn't, until now.

"Sorry. I wish I could sleep. I could use real, deep sleep. Maybe if I were well-rested more of life would make sense to me."

" _I will just have to work harder at tiring you out so you collapse from exhaustion every evening._ "

Sounds good to me, but I don't think his idea of work and mine are the same. My mind is in the gutter.

"You're doing an excellent job already, thank you very much."

" _Okay, then. Get some rest. Oh, and before I go, I've sent you a drawing. I hope you like it. Sleep well._ "

I access my inbox immediately. Jiro changed his mind. That must mean something. I open the file he sent me and catch my breath. He's so skilled with line drawing this could be a photograph in black and white. I wonder if he ever uses color?

The drawing is of three paper lanterns hanging from a string along a wooden beam. Every swoop and swirl of the wood is painstakingly drawn out, every little bump and imperfection. It is so rare for me to see real wood, I wonder how his imagination must work. Each lantern is swayed a bit as if a wind has come and bumped them out of place. Delicate silk cords hang from the bottom of each, knotted and twirled together, furled by the breeze. Such a small piece of life but so iconic of life. The illustration is a study of how orderly things move within the space around them. It is brilliant.

Jiro has more talent in his little finger than I do in my whole body. I've seen the way he fights. He has this carefree, creative, and spontaneous side that comes out when he's holding a sword in his hand. From what I see here, it's the same when he draws, but he channels the creativity with his attention to detail. We're so different, but sometimes I think about how alike we are. We are both passionate about what we do and what we believe in. Both observant, determined, and ambitious to a fault.

I write back to him only to say, "I love it."

I prop up my tablet with the drawing next to me and stare at it as I drop off to a dreamless sleep.

# Chapter Ten

Today I'm going to follow the top Taira henchmen and find out what they've been up to for the past couple of months. I've already compiled my dossier on the clan leader, Tomio Miura, so it's time to move down the ranks.

My first subject, Minamoto, was an easy enough target. I ran into a dead-end with him after only a few weeks and set him aside. Whatever illegal activities he's up to, they must all revolve around money because I've seen no signs of violence from anyone in his clan. It's either that or they keep everything away from the cameras.

Tomio Miura, on the other hand, doesn't seem to care who finds out about his illegal activities. His records are pretty blatant. After running the same routines on him I ran on Minamoto, I found two people that worked for him disappear in a two week period. One died of natural causes. The other ended up in the Ku 2 main hospital with internal injuries before dying of them.

So, I went back in the records over the span of five years and found twenty-seven people have died while working for or around Miura. Countless more have been injured. With a sense of dread, I set him aside for a few days and concentrated on the other clan boss, Noboru Maeda, for a bit. I didn't want to know, didn't want to see what had happened to those men and women.

I can't avoid the violence anymore.

Sakai reviewed my work two days ago and said, "Sanaa, you must investigate all of the bosses in these families. You're not going to make any progress if you just follow the heads of the clans."

Fine. I'll do it.

Tadao Matsuda is first. He's a strange one. I've seen him with Miura on several occasions, and I put his name on my list immediately once I looked him up. He's two years younger than Sakai at forty, and grew up in the same ward and neighborhood as Sakai did. They must know each other. He's married to the now Chief of Colonization, Emiko Matsuda. He's tall and well-built but dyes his hair this dirty brown color I personally find revolting.

I've been transfixed by him, though the few times he's appeared on surveillance have been uneventful. His vacant and unfeeling eyes bore into people he deals with face-to-face. There is no emotion, not even the hint of a smile. He's so cold, I shiver.

What I find most intriguing about Matsuda is that he wasn't born into any one of these major families. He's the only son of two complete nobodies in this world: a seamstress and a shop owner. By marrying Emiko, he technically became a member of clan Minamoto which confused me to no end. If he married into Minamoto, why is he working with Clan Taira? So far, in all of my digging, I've found these clans never mix.

While I wait for the computers to compile the video feeds I've requested, I sit and think about what I will say or do with Jiro tonight at the izakaya. I wonder if it's a good idea to continue this flirting when I still have to train with him each day, but I do like him a lot already. I find him attractive, funny, sweet, compelling...

Ugh. I lean forward and put my head on the desk. I'm dying to lay my hands on him, and I'm not even sure if he finds me attractive at all. Our relationship has been so formal and polite. Maybe he goes for curvy, tall women? And I'm Straight-Up-And-Down Sanaa, as Joshua dubbed me when I broke up with him. I hate that nickname. It's the main reason I spent so much time in the karate dōjō. If I can't be sexy, at least I can be strong.

I shouldn't sit here and try to analyze. I do that already with everything else in my life. I should just let things happen the way they should happen.

The terminal pings, and my video is ready. I take the two feeds from outside of Miura's gift shop and scrub back in time to the day before this last man died of internal injuries. He was rushed to the hospital from this shop according to the response team records. Miura's store keeper told the medics who showed up that the man was crushed under boxes when stock shelves fell on him. Somehow I doubt that's what really happened.

There! Matsuda walks into the gift shop with this man in front of him. Huh, Matsuda has a sword strapped to his back? When I pause and zoom in, the katana's handle is peeking up over the top of his coat.

I start the video again and watch them enter the store. They have a short conversation, and the two men enter the back room. When I scrub forward fifteen minutes, the medics arrive, proceed to the back room, and eventually carry this man out on a stretcher. Matsuda follows them out and stands at the door dispassionately as the man is hauled into an ambulance and whisked away. He then jauntily walks off down the street like nothing happened.

Well, that video was not very damning. What other feeds are available for the area around this store? Another front video feed from two stores down? No. That's not going to give me anything. What about around the back? Yes. A feed exists from one store down, and the camera is mounted opposite the door. I request the video for the same timeframe and bring it up on the screen next to the other video I just watched. I sync them both up and let them play at the same time.

When Matsuda and this man... Wait, who is this guy? I check my Ku 2 hospital records. His name is Hideo. When Matsuda and Hideo enter the back room, they come out the back alley less than a minute later with another man I didn't see in the store. He must have been in the back room.

Dammit. They are on the edge of the right side of this video feed, flitting in and out of the frame. Hideo stands with his back against the wall while the other man speaks forcefully into his face.

Without warning, the unknown man steps aside, Matsuda takes two steps forward into the frame, and kicks Hideo straight in the abdomen.

With a gasp, my hands fly to my mouth. Hideo is on his knees and then on his side as Matsuda's boot comes up and down again on Hideo's ribs. Again and again. He winds up and uses the toe of his boot to kick Hideo in the face. Hideo slumps even further to the ground, blood spewing from his nose and mouth. He brings his arms up to his face to shield himself, his lips moving. Is he pleading for his life? No, Hideo's mouth curls slightly. He's laughing at Matsuda.

Matsuda's hand flies up to his sword but the other man pulls at his arm, stopping him from cutting the last bit of life out of Hideo. Whatever Hideo said angered Matsuda enough to want to kill him. Instead, Matsuda draws a short knife from under his jacket. He's about to stab this broken and bleeding lump of a man, but he flips the knife around and bludgeons Hideo upside the head until he's unconscious.

"Sanaa-chan."

Sakai stands behind me. I didn't even hear him come in. Bile rises in my throat as I turn back to the video. Hideo is being dragged inside, and the unknown man sprays the blood from the pavement outside with a hose.

I stand up shakily from the desk, push past Sakai, and run for the small bathroom two doors down from the theater. I'm about to lose my breakfast straight into the toilet when instead my vision goes black along the edges, and I sink to the floor to stop myself from keeling over.

No, no. Deep, deep breath. Concentrate on not passing out, Sanaa. Stay conscious. You're stronger than this. Smarter than this. You will not collapse.

And with every moment I think these mantras to myself, the edge recedes, and I calm again.

I'm stronger than this. Smarter than this.

A soft knock on the door echoes in the tiny bathroom. "Sanaa, are you all right?"

"Go back! I'll be there in a minute."

I turn my cheek to the cool plastic wall of the stall and hope to the gods the bathroom was cleaned this morning. Hoisting myself up, I straighten my shirt, exit the stall, and startle at my pale, sweaty face in the mirror. My freckles stand out even more than usual, and my hair is stuck to the side of my cheek. I run my hands under the cold water from the tap and bring them to my eyes, pressing down hard until stars form in the blackness. Don't cry, Sanaa. Don't be weak. I release the pressure on my eyes and the world comes back into focus. Taking a deep breath, I wipe my hands off and return to the theater.

Sakai stands over my videos, Matsuda beating Hideo again. I don't want to watch it a second time, yet I can't tear my eyes from it.

"I'm sorry. I knew you had to see this even though I didn't want you to."

"I can't watch this stuff. I don't know what kind of person you think I am, but I'm not the kind that can sit and watch a man being beaten to death over and over." My hand snaps out at the tablet, and I stab at the video with my finger until it goes away. "Turn it off!" The forcefulness of my stabbing pushes the tablet off the desk with a crash and causes a sob to bubble up.

Throwing myself at Sakai's chest, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. I have to feel and hold a real person, and I grip him even harder when his arms wrap around me too.

"You knew you were going to see this when you called up the video."

"I didn't think it would be that bad. I thought... I thought I could handle it." I pull back from his chest, tilting my head up to find his expression soft and kind.

"You're stronger than you think, Sanaa-chan," he says while smoothing back my hair. "As kids, your mother and I witnessed these sorts of crimes all the time. When you see it enough, you become immune to it, but it doesn't mean you hate it any less."

I should let go of him, but I can't. I need him. I rest my cheek on his chest and inhale a deep breath. He smells fresh, like his clothes are straight from the auto-hamper. No fear, just comfort.

"I'm sorry to say you'll see more of this. There are others in the clans that commit this kind of violence but stick with Matsuda for now. He's our biggest offender."

I take a step back from him and nod. I've seen that cold stare and empty expression and know that Matsuda's a killer, but the thought of following him makes me want to vomit. I have to be strong. I will be strong.

The tablet is thankfully not harmed when I grab it from the floor. I set up a series of jobs to follow all of Matsuda's purchases for the past six months and into the future. When I come in tomorrow, I'll pick up where I'm leaving off now. I'm going to watch this bastard until I know him better than he knows himself.

"It's lunch time. Let's get something to eat and put this behind us."

"Okay." I step to him and wipe my tears off the front of his shirt. "Sorry I cried on you."

"Please," he says with a smile. "Anytime."

After lunch with Sakai where I stay silent and can't talk to him because I keep seeing Matsuda in my head, I walk into practice with Jiro, and I can't concentrate. Can't think. Can't react. Jiro sees my distracted state and takes pity on me, not working me through the routines until I'm about to break like he usually would. We sit for a while, and I focus on keeping my shaking hands still.

"Didn't get much sleep last night?" he asks as he glances at my hands.

"Yes and no. It's been a rough day. I did eventually fall asleep after I looked at your drawing. It's really beautiful. Like amazingly beautiful."

"Oh thanks." He's a little embarrassed, but I'm not going to lie. I loved his artwork, and I want him to send me more.

"You've only ever shown them to your mother?"

"Yeah, she's the other artist in the family. I must have gotten the gene from her."

"Did she teach you?" I've been forming a picture of this woman in my mind now for weeks. An artist was another thing I hadn't counted on. I hope I get to meet her soon.

"She started me on _shodō_ , of course."

"Of course." Don't all Japanese kids learn calligraphy right from the womb? The stereotype is almost funny.

"And I learned quickly, but shodō is expensive what with all the ink, brushes, and paper so she taught me how to use the pen on the tablet. I have drawings saved from four years old on."

"Wow. That must be an impressively huge collection."

"Oh, I've deleted tons, but still, yes. It's a lot." He's smiling. If I thought that he loved showing off his tattoos before, I know he'll show me all of his drawings now. Maybe Jiro needs a friend? It's moments like these that convince me he's not romantically interested in me. He just wants someone to share with.

I lay down on the mat and stare at the ceiling. "I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't fall back to sleep."

Jiro leans back on his elbows beside me. "What's keeping you awake at night?"

"I'm not sure," I say, and it feels like a lie, but, "I'm just... lost."

"Lost in someone else's world." I think he's in the same world with me.

"Yeah. I'm not sure who I am anymore. I watch other people all day, the inner workings of their lives. Where they go, who they eat with, what they do, what they read on the train, how many times they use the bathroom each day..."

"That explicit?"

"I know more about these people than they know about themselves." I stare up at the lights, putting my arm under my head and letting out a big yawn. I'm slowing down and should probably get up before I fall asleep. We're going to have to start practicing again anyway. Yet, I can't help but close my eyes for a moment...

Oh no.

I climb out of a deep sleep and turn my head to the side. Jiro has moved to the mats against the wall and is sketching on his tablet.

"Jiro?" The sleep has barely left me, and my voice is shaky. I push myself up and groan. "Did I fall asleep? _Gomen nasai_." I slip into Japanese when I'm sleepy. I must have been out.

"Don't apologize," he says, waving his hand.

I yawn and stretch, rubbing my sleepy face. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Jiro puts his tablet down and walks over to me. "I didn't have the heart to wake you. I know how tired you are."

"I don't think Mark or your father would be happy with you taking pity on me."

"True, but I don't care." He smiles down at me, his hair coming out from behind his ears and sweeping down over his face. Even in my half-asleep state his hair gets me every time.

I can't believe I slept in front of him. I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing.

He helps me up and a wave of dizziness makes me sway, but he grabs me by the shoulders to steady me. "I should walk you to the train, and you should go home and rest. Maybe we shouldn't meet up tonight?"

"No, Jiro-kun. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get home and have a shower. You don't need to walk me to the train. I'll be fine."

"Well, I'll at least walk you out." He puts his arm around my shoulders, and I'm weak again but not from exhaustion.

I leave him at the front door and cross the street heading for the station. Turning around, he's still watching me with a smile. I smile back. How could I not?

# Chapter Eleven

When I arrive at home, my aunts are gone. I check my messages, and Aunt Kimie and Lomo are working late and having dinner together tonight in Ku 3. That's sweet. I love how much time those two spend together. They are so well-suited for each other.

After showering, I get dressed in one of my plain black shirts and black pants but grab this gorgeous silk wrap top Aunt Lomo made for me a year ago. The material is a deep gray, the color of burnt incense, and embroidered with a small leaf pattern in silver thread. The sleeves come down just below my elbow with silver button clasps, and the length of the bodice grazes the top of my hips. Aunt Lomo is a fantastic seamstress. I debate whether to pull my hair up or leave it down but ultimately I let it fall down around my shoulders. Jiro only ever sees my hair up at practice.

I love Izakaya Tanaka and seeing it tonight brings a wide smile to my face. I like it when it's quiet, not as busy nor crazy as it was on New Year's Eve. The izakaya is a decent size for a bar and will hold about forty-five people at a time depending on how many want to stand. The ceilings are rather low, and Mr. Tanaka, Miko's father, had the walls painted a dark color to make the space smaller, cozier. The bar is stocked with many varieties of sake, _shochu_ , and other western mixes. If you lean forward over the bar, you can watch all the cooks in the kitchen.

Miko's family has been running this place for three generations. It's one of the few places in Ku 7 that's been around for almost seventy years. Her great-great-grandmother hand-painted the menu signs hanging along the front of the bar, and the family's collection of golden _maneki-neko,_ ceramic waving cats, line the walls above the booths. If I stay till close with Miko, I often take down the noren curtains out front before we lock the place up. They were also painted in a large flowing script by her great-great-grandmother. She was a master with the brush.

I arrive at seven o'clock full of nerves, and Jiro is already sitting at the bar drinking sake and reading from his tablet. It's nice to see him in street clothes instead of Nishikyō grays. His black shirt is tight enough to show off his muscular arms and chest, and his black pants fit him perfectly. I don't know how he manages to be so stylish yet casual. It's a side I haven't seen of him.

I walk in, ducking through the noren curtains, and all the staff shout "Welcome!" and "Sanaa-chan!" at me which makes me laugh out loud. Jiro laughs too, and how could you not with an entrance like that? I walk up and sling my bag across the back of the open chair next to him.

"Good evening, Sanaa-chan."

"Good evening, Jiro-kun," I say, tucking my hair behind my ears. Wow, he's making me nervous already, and I just saw him a few hours ago. Then I remember I slept in front of him. I should have never closed my eyes.

Sono appears at the bar and points to his cheek which is my cue to step onto the rung of my chair, lean over the bar, and give him a kiss.

"Hi, Sono. How are you?"

"I'm good. __ Sake tonight?"

"A little _._ I'll have whatever Jiro is having." I sit down next to Jiro, twisting my hair over my left shoulder out of the way. It's getting so long now. I wonder if I'll ever have time to cut it.

"You're popular here," Jiro says as he pours me a drink.

I smile at two of the wait staff as they walk by with food. "I've been coming here for ten years now. Miko and I have been friends for a long time, and I used to help her family before I got full-time work. Speaking of Miko..."

She pokes her head out of the back office and comes our way. Be sweet and kind, Miko.

"Sanaa-chan, you look lovely," she says as she leans in and gives me a hug. "I'm so glad to see you. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." We smile at each other. It's a relief to be back here again.

"We have soy salmon teriyaki tonight. Interested?" Miko asks, always the hostess.

"Yes, of course."

She turns to Jiro and all she says is, "Jiro-kun," squeezing his arm affectionately.

"Miko-chan," he replies, and she walks off towards the booths where Yoichi is sitting with friends.

"Your brother and Miko are still going strong." Miko slips in next to Yoichi, and he puts his arm around her. They seem very happy. It's only been ten weeks since they first met on New Year's Eve, but for Miko, that's a long time to be dating the same guy. I have a good feeling about them.

"Yeah, they are. What did you tell Miko about us?"

"Us what?" My eyes widen.

"How we met outside of New Year's Eve. She said to me earlier, 'I hear you're training Sanaa.' And I wasn't sure how to respond so I nodded."

I know it's hard to believe, but I often forget about the lies that fuel my life.

"I told her I wanted to learn a different martial art and sword fighting came recommended to me. She, well no one, knows what I do with Mark every day." I drink my sake quickly and set the cup down. This business with Sakai still makes me nervous, and after this morning, I find it more disturbing than I have the past few weeks.

"Sakai-san has asked for you to keep all of it secret. Yes, I know. He has asked me to keep the secret as well."

"Oh, don't worry about Miko. She accepts I would learn sword fighting all on my own. She wouldn't expect any other motive than my crazy personality."

Jiro smiles at me, disbelief in his eyes. "Really? I'll keep that in mind."

"Don't be so surprised." I laugh because this is the same conversation we had about Jiro's drawings. "I love iaido despite how horrible I am at it."

"You _are_ crazy," he says, shaking his head. "You're one of my best students ever. I've never seen anyone pick up the forms so quickly. Especially someone who wasn't brought up to sword fighting."

This is comforting. In all our time training, Jiro never opens up and tells me I'm doing well. He usually just says, "Good, now let's move on to this," and continues to push me harder and harder. It's probably my own fault because I'm stubborn and have been pushing myself as hard as he pushes me. Still, I love the way he guides my arms or body into the correct positions. Every time he touches me I try not to melt into a puddle on the floor. Our practice sessions are full of conflicting emotions for me.

"Thank you. I had no idea."

While he fills up our cups, plates of food arrive for each of us. Miko ordered the exact same meal for both Jiro and me, and it makes me smile. She always knows what's best on the menu.

"Eat," I say, pointing my chopsticks at his dish. "You'll love it."

A minute of silence stretches between us while I watch him. Gods, he's gorgeous. I'm in trouble.

"Jiro, what do you do for your family?" I ask amid bites of food and sips of sake. His chopsticks halt in mid-air halfway to his mouth, and he lowers them back to the plate. Uh oh. "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't ask about such things."

I immediately regret opening my mouth and prying into his life. His face flattens and eyes dull, like he did in the first weeks we trained together.

"No. You're bound to find out sooner or later. I don't have a proper job, but my role in the family has always been the successor. I accompany Sakai or my father to all of their meetings and usually with my sword. I'm the most trained in my family. I bested Yoichi and my father at the age of twelve," he says with a grin.

I look over at Yoichi's smiling face and have trouble imagining him sword fighting, but I'm sure anyone who looks at me would think the same thing.

"I was meant for sword fighting. I'm a whole person when I'm carrying one. I'm always there for important meetings, and I know more than I should, but that's mostly intentional. At this point, I'm next in line after Sakai." He drains his cup, and I reach out and fill it for him. The gesture makes him smile. "The family business is harsh. We work with all three clans. Minamoto fights with Taira over property sales. Maeda fights with Minamoto over use of okiyas and theaters. Minamoto and Taira fight with Maeda over the gaming. They are all clamoring at Sakai for equal representation with Coen-sama..."

"That's what Mark does every day when he leaves me in Ku 1."

It's easier to eat now that Jiro is talking to me even if it's not exactly a happy subject. I quickly finish off my meal and push the plate away from me.

"Yes, he meets with her at least once per day. Nishikyō may be filled with all creeds, races, religions, but Japanese rule here. Never forget that."

"Are you angry?"

"Yes and no. It's the way things are. Coen-sama is a puppet. She rules because the clans let her. The only thing she ever did to defy them was to put Yamada-san in charge of colonization, and you see where that got her. Did you know he died today?"

"No. I didn't have time to check the news today. That poor man. I always liked him. But wait, are you saying Yamada-san was murdered?"

We both stare at each other.

"I _know_ Yamada was murdered. Most likely by Minamoto, by Tadao Matsuda. Do you know him?"

I nod very slowly. Do I ever know him.

"He has extensive martial arts training. I suspect he thinks of himself as a modern day ninja, but he's for hire which makes him dangerous. He's clever, though. He never acts when someone is watching."

Or when he _thinks_ no one is watching. Hideo's bleeding face and Matsuda's vacant stare fill my thoughts, and all the blood is draining from my head. Push it away, Sanaa. Don't remember. Not now.

I quickly fan myself with my hand and take a deep breath.

"Are you all right? You're as pale as a ghost."

"Yes, I, uh..." What do I tell him? He obviously knows about Matsuda, knows what he's capable of. I want to tell him about what I saw this morning, but I can barely bring myself to think about it, much less describe it in actual words. "I've had a rough day," I say with a sigh. I just can't talk about it. I'll watch it. I'll get used to it like Sakai wants me to. That's all I can do.

"You said that earlier, too. What happened? Will you tell me?"

My eyes are starting to tear, and I shake my head.

"You know, when your face goes all pale like that your freckles stand out." He turns to me, and a blush comes to replace the blood my head lost. "I like them. They're very _kawaii_."

I wish I could breathe. I've gone from being sickened by thoughts of Matsuda to being complimented by Jiro in the span of ten seconds. Up until this moment, I thought I was doomed to be his friend the rest of my life. My hand touches my nose, and then I lower it self-consciously.

"I got them from my mother."

"Really? I would think you got them from your father. He was English, right? I don't see many Japanese girls around Ku 6 with freckles."

"No," I say, thinking this statement is awfully damning of my being non-Japanese especially after our discussion in Ku 10. My soaring hopes of romance come crashing to the ground. "And I'm not like the other girls in Ku 6."

"No, you're not," he says with a smile and a shake of his head, and my stomach collapses.

"Jiro, I am never going to be as Japanese as you want me to be." My temper rises, and I have to breathe to keep it down, even though shock comes over Jiro's eyes and his jaw drops. "I wasn't raised in Ku 6. I didn't go to the festivals as a kid. I never celebrated _Hinamatsuri_ or _Bunka no hi_. Never went to the concerts or gone to any of the plays. It's... it's not the way I want to be, but it's the way I am."

Between Sakai and Jiro, I completely regret not knowing more about my Japanese heritage. I get it. I understand. I've not grown up like my mother intended, and now I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to correct it. Is Jiro really poking fun at my not being Japanese enough?

I've had enough of today. I get up from my chair and grab my bag.

"Wait." His hand comes down on my arm. "Wait, don't go. That's not what I meant..."

"I'm going home," I say, and pulling my arm away from him, I stand stiffly. "I'll see you tomorrow, sensei." He winces and closes his eyes as if I've slapped him. Good. I've restored order to our relationship.

As fast as I can, I turn and leave, but it's not stopping Jiro from following me to the door.

"Sanaa! Please wait."

I hasten my legs and don't look back, but I can hear the door open again and Miko's voice. Fine, Jiro. You tell Miko why I left.

I go straight home, and I'm so thankful the trains are running fast because I don't want a bunch of strangers to witness me crying. I hate crying in front of other people, and I've done it way too many times lately for my liking. I've also beaten both of my aunts home for once. I didn't even stay for very long at the izakaya tonight.

What just happened with Jiro? One minute he's complimenting me, and the next I'm running for the door like the place is on fire. Is he comparing me to other girls in Ku 6 on a daily basis? I thought maybe, just maybe, he liked me for who I am. Am I the silly, half-Japanese experiment to him? Put a sword in my hand and maybe I'll be enough? This evening has left me feeling dumb and inadequate. How could I be so stupid? Another boy has managed to embarrass me for entirely different reasons. This time I'm not the skinny tomboy, I'm the outcast. I will never be enough all on my own.

I dump my bag on my bed, change into pajamas, and pull my hair back into a quick braid before climbing into bed with my tablet. I think it's time I put this silly nonsense aside and went back to Chad. It's been months, but he might meet me tomorrow. I could use the familiarity of his face, his voice, and his body. He's not especially passionate with me — he barely even kisses me — but it's better than nothing.

I take the tablet out of silent mode and find two messages from Jiro sent ten minutes ago. I don't even want to read them. I want to smash my tablet to pieces! But my finger goes straight for the first message anyway.

" _Sanaa-chan, gomen nasai. I didn't mean to make you upset tonight. When I said you are not like the other Japanese girls in Ku 6, I wanted you to know I like that. I wouldn't want you to be any different. Forgive me._ "

There's a message here too from Miko: " _I don't know what happened but Jiro feels really bad for offending you. Give him another chance. He's been asking questions about you for weeks at the izakaya, and I've been so wrapped up in Yoichi, I haven't said anything to you. Stupid boys. They make us crazy. Tell him you'll see him again. Xo Miko._ "

I have to see him, Miko. Every day. Sigh. This whole falling for Jiro situation is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

Back to my inbox, I click on the other message from him. It's simply titled, " _From today._ "

This time the drawing brings tears to my eyes and all thoughts of Chad fade away. It's me, but only my arm crooked under my head, my hair falling down over it. There's the slightest glimpse of my ear and the curve of my chin, but the genius of this sketch is how Jiro has caught every fold of fabric, every strand of hair. He paid close attention to the shape and slant of the light, the way the soft fabric of my shirt cast a hard shadow on the mat. It's perfect in every way.

Of course I'll forgive him. If he were here right now, I'd hug him. Hold him. I want to wrap my arms around him so badly. I take the tablet and clutch it to my chest.

It's not the same.

# Chapter Twelve

When I reach the Itō dōjō, I ascend the stairs, my stomach full of butterflies. Jiro and I left things so horribly at Izakaya Tanaka last night, and I never wrote back to his apology. I've had this vision in my mind all day of apologizing to him face-to-face and then reaching out to hug him when I'm done because I just want to hold him so badly it hurts.

But I pull open the door and all of the butterflies die because Koichi is waiting for me as well. No private time today.

"Sanaa," he exclaims when I enter. His smile is contagious and despite my disappointment of not being alone with Jiro, I return it easily. "Jiro was telling me last night you are ready to work on advanced defense. I thought I would come and pretend to attack you."

"How exciting. It must be the highlight of your day."

"Indeed, it is. I enjoy putting the moves on pretty girls."

This elicits a laugh from Jiro, and he rolls his eyes at his father. Koichi is a charmer much like Sakai, and it's nice to see his playful side too. I walk to the wall and place my bag next to the rack of swords, and Jiro comes up next to me.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers to me.

The hurt in his eyes is sweet and vulnerable, and if I had any thoughts of giving him a hard time for being embarrassed, they're gone now. I'm glad he's not going to rescind his apology. I hadn't even considered he might until this moment, but the quick fear vanishes.

"I'm the one that's sorry, sorry I overreacted."

"Later?"

I nod. Yes, not in front of Koichi.

We all strip down to practice-wear before we begin. Undershirt for me, no shirts for them. Now I see where Jiro gets his build from, and Koichi is not without his own set of tattoos. Like father like son. Once again, Jiro shows me he knows everything about sword fighting. He explains how to counter each of Koichi's moves as he attacks me from the side, from the back, and around an obstacle. The table provides me with cover but it takes a severe beating from the two of us. When Jiro stops prompting me to react, I know I'm doing well.

We take a quick break for water and move out of the dōjō's main room to the hallway and stairway where we work on how to counter attacks while on stairs and in short tight spaces. Jiro demonstrates how to start within the parameters of what I've learned but then encourages me to push it further.

In long narrow spaces, I could use the walls to my advantage to get higher, out of range of the sword. I'm not particularly tall, but I have used my leg strength to climb hallways before. Jiro and Koichi laugh when I run up the wall and come straight down on Koichi. I surprised them both.

I know Jiro is past any of this. Did he teach himself? I've always thought Koichi taught him, but Koichi's style is much more reserved. There is a discord between the two and the way they fight, and I don't think it's just a generational divide.

"Sanaa, you've made excellent progress." Koichi, Jiro, and I are hot, sweaty messes, but this session has gone well. Koichi seems pleased.

I stop and bow low to him. " _Dōmo_."

"It's always nice to see your Japanese side. Speaking of, we're stopping practice now because I have a surprise. We're all going to the Hana Okiya tonight for dinner."

What? If it were proper to squeal with delight, I would, and I try to hide my excitement, but too late, it's all over my face.

"Wow, thank you. I've never been to an okiya."

"You'll enjoy it for sure. You have plenty of time to go home, rest, and get ready for dinner so we're stopping now." He turns to Jiro and hands his sword to him. "Jiro, I'm going in the back. Please lock up after Sanaa leaves." He departs with a short head nod.

Jiro takes my sword as well and goes to the rack to put them away.

"Jiro-kun? Thank you," I say keeping my voice low as I walk up to him. "Thank you for the drawing. It was perfect in every way."

"It's perfect because it's you." He reaches out and touches the length of my forearm, so light and careful, so intimate and unexpected. It raises goosebumps on my skin I can't hide, and he sees them with a smile. He lets his hand drop when his fingers reach the palm of my hand.

This is extremely confusing. I have no idea where I stand with him.

"I'm glad you're looking forward to the party later. It's always a good time at the okiya."

I know I'm blushing, and there's a catch in my throat I need to get past in order to respond. "You went on New Year's Eve, right? Do you go often?"

He grabs two towels from the rack, handing one to me. "Yes, of course. Sakai family does a lot of business there."

"And the geisha, are they as pretty and sweet as everyone says?" A bubble of jealousy rises in my stomach, and I'm barely keeping it down. What if he has a favorite?

He looks at me carefully and smiles. "They do their job well. You'll see."

I arrive at home and the apartment is hot again. Spring, summer, and fall will be brutal this year. I futz with the thermostat for a bit but it seems unable to get below 28°C. We'll have to call maintenance again, I know it. It's only March and already the city is starting to heat up. The cool winds of winter didn't last long. It's sad, but I'll have to store away my silk kimonos soon. As it is, I didn't notice anyone today wearing them in the streets. Everyone has switched over to the lighter, cotton _yukata_.

I head for my tiny closet and pull out the five yukata I own. Right away, I'm drawn to my amethyst purple cotton one. It has a cherry blossom pattern on it I've always loved. Though I almost never get to see fresh flowers in real life, I could stare at this motif and imagine them in my head, like spring in Old Japan. Pink and white trees and a carpet of petals on the ground, the spring winds blowing the branches until they give way to the green leaves of summer.

I have a simple red obi and a white undergarment I can wear with them. I pull out my flip-flops and set them aside. I may not have the most elegant hands, especially now that I'm sword fighting each day, but at least my feet are small and in good shape. I even have time to paint my toenails. When does that ever happen?

But first, an hour nap then a shower. Wiping the steam from the mirror with my hand, all I see are the dark circles under my eyes. I wish I could do more about not sleeping. I pull out the small makeup stash I share with Aunt Lomo and do my best to cover up the circles even though I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't wear makeup every day anymore like I did when I was only working and dating. A small amount of blush and some lip balm later, and I'm presentable. I take a dollop of soy oil and rub it through my hair before letting it fall straight down like last night. I'm going out two nights in a row. It's so unlike me.

My aunts arrive just as I'm ready to head out. It's 7:00pm, and I want to make sure I give myself plenty of time to get there.

"Sanaa, you look lovely. I'm surprised you're home. Where are you off to tonight?" Aunt Lomo sets her bag down and kisses me on the cheek.

"Thanks. I'm going out for dinner with Miko, her boyfriend, and his family. I guess it's getting serious between them." I'm becoming a better liar already.

"Really?" Aunt Kimie asks. "This is the same boy she's been dating for the past couple of months?"

"Yeah. I hope his family is nice." I do, really do.

"Well, don't let us stop you from having fun." Aunt Kimie leans forward and gives me a peck on the cheek.

I walk to the door with my flip-flops in my hands, and Aunt Lomo comes over and squeezes my elbow. "You're wearing makeup. This doesn't happen often anymore." She has a glint of a smile.

"Is it okay? I hope it doesn't look bad. I'm out of practice."

She brings her hands to either side of my face, smoothes out my blush, and rubs along the outside of my eyes. "Now, it's perfect."

With another peck on the cheek, I'm off to a party.

# Chapter Thirteen

There are five okiya-ochaya in all of Nishikyō, but we call them okiya now: three in Ku 7 and two in Ku 6. This is a remarkable number of okiya since the city is only seventy percent Japanese and the geisha tradition is thousands of years old. Each generation it changes a little but the basic concept is the same: they are entertainers. Long gone are the days when geisha would only sit by and entertain men. Men and women are equally powerful now, and geisha will happily entertain any group of people for the right price.

The okiya industry is smart. They've cultivated the old ways, the traditions, the music and dance, and most importantly, the wardrobe. Without the elegant kimonos, hairpins, obis, and white makeup, they would be indistinguishable from the rest of us. But despite the old ways, they have updated their repertoire and cater to all people — not just the Japanese.

Usually, the okiya Okaasan owns the whole building and reserves the first two or three floors for entertaining, and the geisha board in the upper levels. It used to be the two places — the okiya where the geisha lived and the ochaya where they entertained — were separate but that's too inconvenient now. It's easier to own a whole building in Nishikyō than it is to own two of them.

When I emerge from the transitway station in Ku 7, the first person I see is Jiro. My timing today is impeccable. He stands across the street reading something on his tablet, thoroughly engrossed in whatever it is. I wonder why he's waiting here? He's relaxed, not at all the sword fighting sensei he was a few hours ago. Instead, he's more the friendly companion he was in Ku 10, the date I had last night. He has so many sides.

I love what he's chosen to wear tonight: a dark blue yukata with subtle gray stripes, dark gray obi belt, and men's flip-flops. He's the most handsome I've ever seen him, but I may be biased; there's something about a guy in a yukata I love.

Oops, he's caught me looking at him. I didn't even realize I had stopped in my tracks. A slow smile comes over his face, and he turns his tablet off and waits for me to cross the street to him since I'm already half way there.

"Fancy seeing you here, stranger," I say, smiling back. Time to start flirting. I need to be obvious and force him into a decision: friend or lover? It'll be easier that way.

"I knew you'd be early." Jiro tucks his tablet under one arm and steps to me. "You've never been late for practice. Not once."

"You were waiting for me? How'd you know I'd come out this entrance?"

"It's the closest station to the Hana Okiya. I put two and two together."

"I guess I'm predictable," I say with a humph.

"Not always," he replies holding out his arm to me. It's a grand gesture, meeting me at the station and escorting me to the okiya. He must feel bad about what happened last night. If my heart weren't in my throat, I would thank him, but I can barely speak. So I take his arm, and we walk down the sidewalk side-by-side.

"My parents and Sakai are already there. They arrived an hour early to do business before we show up."

"Is Mark always business? It seems like it." I imagine him going to bed every night with the same stony-faced expression he wears when I meet him every morning.

"He has his moments. If we get enough sake into him tonight maybe he'll strip down and streak around the okiya."

"No, not Mark. Not in a million years."

"Don't scoff. It's been known to happen."

"And does this happen to everyone?" I'm secretly hoping it's only the men.

"Only if you're horrible at drinking games."

Oh no, I've never been involved in drinking games because I only ever drink with Miko and Helena. I clutch Jiro's arm a little tighter.

He laughs. "Sanaa-chan, I swear I can read you like a book. Don't be nervous. I'm teasing you."

"Yeah, well, you get to do this kind of thing more often than I do."

"Usually, it's just business, and it's not half as much fun as sharing the night with someone else."

I look up and smile because I want his face smiling back at me. I'm desperate for attention. "Yes, this is true."

"We're here."

Damn. We arrived so fast there's no more time for flirting. Outside the entrance to this building are two beautiful square rice paper lanterns on either side of the door and a hand-painted sign with the character for flower, _hana_ , written on it.

Nishikyō itself is mostly devoid of charm and uniqueness, except for a few temples and theaters, but each building's owner takes care to set their place apart from the blandness around it. It's not surprising I would have walked past this place had Jiro not led me directly here. Its exterior is austere, simple.

Inside, they must have knocked out all of the existing structure and rebuilt it entirely from the floor up. The walls are papered a lovely shade of cream and lit softly from above. Real wood supports and beams are shellacked a deep, dark coffee brown. I place my hand on one, and it's warm and organic. Nothing like the cool and precise composite material we use around the city to mimic the real thing.

The waiting area has an alcove of cubbies for shoes and sets of washed slippers for guests. It's cool in here as I thought it would be, but comfortable. Okiyas call private contractors to bring in more cooling units so the geisha can entertain in their silk kimonos and not overheat. It's something they can easily afford in this business.

A doorway opens off to the right and a young woman dressed in a lovely pink and green kimono comes out to greet us.

"Welcome _,_ Itō-sama! You're expected. I hope you're well."

"I am, Shichi-san, and you?"

"I am well, thank you."

"Shichi-san, this is another family guest, Sanaa." He gestures to me, and I stand absolutely still. I've never been to an okiya and am not sure how polite or formal I'm supposed to be. When Jiro sees my frozen state, he puts his hand on the small of my back. He probably thinks this is going to have a calming effect on me, but now I'm fluttery instead.

"Good evening, Sanaa-san. Is this your first time here? I don't think I've ever met you."

"Um, yes. I've never been here before." Concentrate, Sanaa. All I can think about is Jiro's hand on my back.

Shichi's smile is warm, and her eyes friendly. "I hope you have a fun time tonight. May I take your shoes?" She waits politely with her hands folded while Jiro and I slip out of our flip-flops and into the slippers that have been left for us. She stows away our shoes and Jiro's tablet and gestures down the hallway. "Please follow me."

Her steps are slight, and her practiced shuffling gives her an even smaller appearance, and as it is, she is petite. They must recruit the smallest girls they can find to do these jobs.

We're the last to arrive. Sakai, Koichi, and Yoichi are already in the private room with Miko and someone I can only guess to be Jiro's mother. I'm so nervous I could faint.

"Oh, Koichi. She looks just like her." She has her hand to her mouth, covering up surprised shock. I swear this woman I've never met is about to cry.

Sakai reaches over and grabs Jiro's mother's hand and squeezes. "It takes some time to get used to it, Mariko."

The room is suddenly very uncomfortable, and I have no idea what to do. Jiro is a little behind me, and I turn to him for guidance. He looks at his mother sadly, but he places his arm on my shoulders and squeezes me. Thankfully, Koichi jumps up and comes around the sunken table to me.

"You look lovely. Did you get some rest this afternoon?"

I let out a long-held breath and bow to him to cover up my unease. "Yes, I even napped. Thanks for sending us home earlier than usual."

Over his shoulder, Miko is mouthing, "What the hell?" at me, but I choose to ignore her. I have no idea how to explain this.

Jiro and I sit in the two seats left. It's a large table shaped like an L positioned over a sunken hole in the floor, _horigotatsu_ style — much more comfortable than sitting seiza all night like the geisha will most likely do. The dark blue cushions set out for us are soft and squishy, and the table already has carafes of sake waiting to be drunk. Once I'm sitting, my feet start fidgeting under the table, my nervous energy flowing straight down my legs to my pink-painted toes. I had dreams of meeting Jiro's mother with a smile and having a polite conversation with her. I wanted to impress her. This greeting has gone horribly wrong.

I try to distract myself by looking around this beautiful room instead of at Mariko who is pained by my appearance. The cream colored walls are sedate, and the tatami mats are painstakingly cared for. Behind us is an alcove, a _tokonoma_ , with a painted scroll of some large white birds on spindly legs taking flight from a small body of water. A full moon hovers over them. I can hardly believe the vase of fresh flowers. I don't know any of their names, but the arrangement is peaceful with not a petal or leaf out of place. Someone must come in and check them several times per day.

Jiro reaches past me and serves us both sake, but I'm afraid to touch my cup my hands are shaking so badly. He blows out his breath and changes his worried expression into a happier, lighter one. "Mother, have another drink. You're falling apart."

"I'm sorry, Jiro-kun." She takes a drink and turns a smile on me, setting me somewhat at ease. "Sanaa, I knew your mother well. She was one of my best friends, and I'm afraid I never realized how much I missed her until now. It's good to see you tonight." She scans everyone at the table once before bowing her head. "Forgive my outburst. Let's eat and forget about it."

Everyone returns to light conversations, and I let out a long, silent breath. Maybe this evening will be okay after all. I'm sitting on the end of the table and Jiro is between me and Yoichi, although Yoichi is on the other corner of the L and we are on the shorter side of the table. Sakai passes Miko plates of appetizers, and they slowly make their way to us: vegetable stuffed dumplings served with a tangy soy sauce, tofu wrapped around finely sliced carrots and mushroom rice, crispy pieces of soy-based salty duck, and breaded and deep fried lotus roots, daikon carved into flowers. Everything is beautifully plated and presented.

" _Shitsurei itashimasu!_ " The door slides open, and two geisha enter the room. "It's 8:15, Sakai-san. I hope your business is all complete?"

"Quite, Oyuki." Sakai points along the table, introducing each of us in turn. He skips over Jiro and Koichi though. I think they're here a lot.

Oyuki must be in her late twenties. Her black, shiny hair is gathered back in an elaborate bun and topped off by a white dangling hairpin and silver comb. I adore her dark blue kimono with its small, white flowered and branch pattern, and over it, a chocolate brown obi tied in a perfect drum bow.

Behind Oyuki, a young _maiko_ , apprentice geisha, is quietly entering the room. With her full white makeup, red colored lower lip, filled in straight brows, and an elaborately high lacquered hairdo (I imagine takes ages to wash out at night), she is the picture of sweet elegance.

"Hello, hello," she chimes.

All the men at the table smile. She's adorable with her little steps and sing song voice. Miko and I smirk at each other. Shichi follows both geisha in, deposits a tray of sake, bows, and returns to the hallway closing the door behind her.

The maiko elegantly kneels down into seiza and bows, then starts filling sake cups on the table.

"My name is Masami. You all look like a happy bunch tonight."

"We are indeed. It's not often we get to go out with our family," Koichi says.

"It's not like we're invited all that often." Mariko gives him an incredulous look which makes him laugh and the rest of us smile.

While Oyuki, Sakai, Koichi, and Mariko exchange small talk, Masami fills our cups, and we chat with her, explaining how we all know each other. Jiro and I are careful not to give away too many details about what I do every day. Everyone here at the table is in on the secret except Miko. I think even Mariko knows.

"Masami-san, your kimono is beautiful." Miko has leaned forward to get a better view. She loves kimono as much as I do.

"Oh thank you, Miko-san. It is very old and, thankfully, well-cared for. The man who attends to all of our kimono is excellent at repair and restoration. I especially love this one." When she walked into the room, my eyes went directly to it because, yes, it's a gorgeous kimono. It's bright maroon with a white water motif falling from the waist to the hem, and over it is a white and purple obi draped elaborately down the back. Her white undergarment is banded along the collar in red, dipping far down her back to reveal her white painted neck. I wonder what I would look like dressed like this. Probably ridiculous, but that doesn't stop me from dreaming about it.

Jiro is listening and making comments intermittently, but he is enjoying the food and drink which is what I should be doing. I make sure to eat each of the appetizers I've been served so there's plenty of food in my stomach to soak up the sake. The last thing I want is to be the only one drunk here.

"I'm glad you like the food. I think they're serving tempura next."

"Fantastic. I love tempura. I haven't had it in a long time."

We sit quietly for a moment and sip more sake.

"Sorry about my mother," Jiro says, lowering his voice. "I feel awful about the way she put you on the spot like that. I'm sure she didn't mean it."

"No, it's fine." I play with my chopsticks for a minute, but I'm fidgeting again, so I lay them down and put my hands in my lap. "Mark had a similar reaction to me. My mother must have been popular."

"I hear your father was as well. Do you not get the same reactions from that side of the family?"

"No. We're estranged from my father's side. I don't see them."

I hate talking about my father's side of the family especially now that my Aunt Sharon refuses to talk to me anymore. I don't know why they all disowned me after my parents died. I wish I did. It's a topic I avoid because I have no answers to any of the questions. So I try to smile, but it's weak and immediately fades.

Jiro sets down his chopsticks and reaches under the table, taking my hand in his and lacing his fingers with mine. If my heart could beat any faster, it would jump out of my chest and run away. "No worries," he says, resting his head on his other hand and looking at me. "You seem to have plenty of family now."

After what happened last night, I was sure Jiro wasn't romantically interested in me. His warm hand and mine together and his light touches today at the dōjō tell me I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong.

I try to cover up my nervousness by tucking my hair behind my ear with my free hand and glancing across the table. Sakai is talking with Oyuki, but Koichi and Mariko are watching us. Mariko is suppressing a small smile, and Koichi reaches around her waist to give her a squeeze. I think they approve.

I take a deep breath but the light pressure of Jiro's hand is making even breathing hard. He strokes his thumb on mine, and I sigh which only makes me more nervous because he heard it and smiled. If we were alone, I'd kiss him. If I could move, which I can't.

It's funny that this hand-holding is more intimate, more heart-stopping, more thrilling than the sex I have with Chad. Even my entire crazy-making relationship with Joshua wasn't as fulfilling as this one moment of contact with Jiro. I have been missing out.

I'm jolted out of my thoughts when the door opens and more food arrives. He lets go to help distribute the plates, and I have to stop myself from saying "No!" out loud. Don't let go! His warmth leaks from my hand, and I clench it in my lap trying to get that feeling back into it. I forgot how much I love it when he directs me in practice, and holding hands is ten times more powerful. I can only imagine what a kiss will be like. I must have one. I will think of nothing else until then.

Yes, I become obsessed easily.

Now that we all have food, Masami and Oyuki get up and decide to entertain us with some music. The sound of a _shamisen_ is not my favorite, but, between Oyuki's masterful skill at playing and singing and Masami's dance, I'm sucked into the whole routine. The tempura is excellent, but I eat it fast because my mind is on Jiro next to me.

When the music ends, we all applaud. Oyuki and Masami are doing a fantastic job tonight. I now totally understand the appeal of going to an okiya.

"So, love, do you think you can best me at Rock Paper Scissors? You know you always lose." Turns out Mariko is interested in drinking games — didn't expect that — and she's goading Koichi into it.

"That's because you are a wicked, evil witch who can read minds. No, no, you try your wily ways on Mark, and I will watch and laugh." This is probably a good thing because Koichi is drunk already.

I am trying not to laugh, really I am, but a small giggle escapes me that's threatening to turn into a fit. Too much sake.

Jiro turns to me and whispers, "Not once have I ever seen my mother lose this game, and I had years of early bedtimes as a kid because she always beat me."

Watching Mariko, I'm sure she _can_ read minds. Each time — Sakai: rock, Mariko: paper; Sakai: scissors, Mariko: rock — she beats Sakai and makes him drink. After ten tries, Sakai throws up his hands and relents, but she's not done. She bests both Yoichi and Miko, then Oyuki. Jiro waves her off, and she beats me as well.

"You are all terrible, terrible liars!"

After a few more rounds, Koichi, Mariko, and Sakai are pretty far gone, but the rest of us seem safe. I refuse anymore drinking games and ask for a bowl of rice which Shichi brings so quickly I assume they have them on stand-by just for this reason. While I eat and listen to Koichi and Sakai tell stories of how they once pranked a casino owner by moving three pachinko machines into the street overnight, Jiro turns to me with his chopsticks and helps himself to my rice.

"Hey! That's mine." I try to snatch it back but he's quick.

"Sanaa-chan, you must learn to share."

I change my position, bringing my leg up out of the well, kicking off my slippers, and face him so he has better access to the bowl. "Fine, but now I think you owe me dinner."

"Any time." His left hand comes down and rests on my ankle, bringing a blush to my cheeks.

Behind Jiro, Miko and Yoichi are listening to Sakai and Koichi. Miko is sitting in Yoichi's lap, reclined back against him. She's so comfortable, more than I've ever seen her with any other guy.

"What are you looking at?" His thumb strokes my ankle, and I clear my throat.

"Oh, Miko and Yoichi. They're so happy."

Jiro is watching me. "They are. It's a good match."

I think we could sit and stare at each other for hours, but I want to show Jiro that I truly am interested in him too before he thinks I'm just humoring his small touches and lengthy glances. There are lots of witnesses present, so I go for simplicity. I set down my bowl, move closer, and take his hand in mine with a smile. I get the reaction I was hoping for, his eyes indicating the thankful sigh he is holding back.

I remember my wish and my determination to make it come true. It was the right move.

He leans in close to me, squeezing my hand and pulling it to him, his face only a centimeter from mine. "Time's almost up. Let me take you home."

Goodbyes are said on the sidewalk outside the okiya. Miko wants me to come to the izakaya more often, and I agree. I miss it too much to stay away now. When she and Yoichi walk away together, hand-in-hand towards Ku 6, jealousy rises in my chest, the fiery dragon awakening once again. I wish Jiro were taking me home with him. Then Mariko hugs me and asks me over for tea, and the dragon settles in for a nap. I'm glad the evening ended on better footing than it began.

Jiro links hands with me again and drags me to the transitway entrance. A train arrives at the platform almost immediately, and we find two seats next to each other. Instead of talking, I rest my head on his shoulder, and he traces the bones in my hand with his finger. It's so comfortable and easy that I could fall asleep. All the sake I drank tonight is not helping to keep me awake. I should have asked Shichi for tea though I abhor it.

I get up and lead him off the train at my Ku 9 station. It's a four block walk home, and the streets are quiet, the shops closed. He doesn't let go of my hand.

"How long have you lived here?"

"Since I was fourteen, when I became a full-time engineering apprentice. Aunt Kimie was eager to leave Ku 5."

"Before that you lived here in Ku 9, right?"

"Yes we did. Full circle, ne? I lived here with my parents, though I was too young to remember it. They died before I was two. Aunt Kimie and Lomo moved us to Ku 5 directly after. They tried to go back to Ku 6 and visit my grandfather until he died when I was five, but he turned them away. He didn't approve of Aunt Kimie being gay. He was always talking about her having children, and she didn't want kids. I think I was enough of a handful she hadn't planned on, though I've hardly ever deviated from the path. Well, until now."

"Not your fault, though," Jiro says. "It's not your fault your parents died. And it's not your fault now that Sakai has you doing this job you don't like."

"I thought about quitting. I wanted to walk out in the beginning and never see Mark again, but I'm glad I stayed. He knows things about my family no one has ever told me. Things I know by instinct are true." I quiet down for a moment, swinging Jiro's hand at our side. I'm rambling, but I want to tell him everything. "Mark's right about me. I should never have been removed from Ku 6. I'm a complete outsider. I don't think it's what my parents would have wanted for me. If they had been alive, we would have been in Ku 6 all the time or maybe even lived there. I don't know, but the more I think about it, the more I'm sure of it."

"I'm so sorry about last night. I didn't mean for you to think there was something wrong with you for not being like the girls from Ku 6." He runs his other hand through his hair, huffing out a breath and turning to me. "I like you just the way you are."

"But..."

"Stop. Whatever it is you have to say about yourself, it doesn't matter."

I stop him a block from my building.

"But it _does_ matter." I throw up my free hand. "It's ridiculous! And I'm mad at myself for never questioning it until now. How did I get to be twenty years old and never celebrated Girls' Day or walked the streets during a festival or gone to the numerous plays and concerts you've mentioned? I should have participated in Coming of Age Day in January like every other girl in Ku 6, but we didn't even mention it."

I try to release my hand from his because I want to pout alone, but he only holds on tighter.

"Hey, don't you pull away from me. Come on," he says as he reels me in closer to him, "these circumstances of your life are out of your control. We all like to think that we have control over our own lives, but we don't, especially not when we're young and adults are making decisions for us."

Jiro is so much wiser than I will ever be. This is what comes of independence at a young age.

"Your parents didn't keep you away from your culture."

"But they are also deeply engaged in their culture, they don't see the bigger picture. You need to see both sides."

"Do you see both sides? Do you spend time outside your ward, outside of the little Japan Ku 6 is?"

My comment is snide, and I know it's false because I've seen him in other wards via surveillance. He peers down at me sadly, and I'm afraid I've hurt his feelings with my outburst. I take our hands and raise them to my chest, bringing us even closer together. "I'm sorry, Jiro. I'm just angry."

"No, don't apologize. I do leave my world. I do it out of necessity because what I see and do in Ku 6 is more than I can bear sometimes."

I haven't hurt his feelings, but now a darker, sadder Jiro than before surfaces. I don't know all he does, but after witnessing Matsuda kick Hideo to death, I fear he's seen more than I ever have or will.

His face is turned from me, gazing off at a point down the street, and though we are only a few centimeters apart and holding hands, he seems alone and troubled. My heart is breaking for him.

Neither of us should have to live this crazy life, filled with lies and violence, alone. I need him, and I'm sure he needs me. I let go of our hands, reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, resting my head on his shoulder.

"When was the last time someone hugged you?" I ask.

He sighs and presses me against him. "It's been a long time."

Being this close, I breathe in the scent of him — clean, citrusy soap — and I store it away in my head as something more to remember Jiro by when I'm not near him. "I had a great time tonight. Thanks for sitting with me and making me feel welcome with your family." I don't want to let go of him, but I pull away, grab his hand, and walk him the one more block to my building.

He looks up, surprised we've stopped. "This is where you live?"

"Number eighteen, yes." I don't want this evening to end, yet here we are, standing right out front, and I can't invite him in. I really need my own place.

I look down at our hands clasped together between us in disbelief. Would he be flirting with me, holding my hand, and walking me home if I were just his student? Could he really be interested in me as more than a friend?

He pulls on my hand and I look up at him. He has shaken off the sadness and replaced it with the same flirtatious smile he had on New Year's Eve, but this time it's even more lustful. It's making my heart beat wildly in my chest again. At this rate, I'm going to die of a heart attack before I'm twenty-one.

He lets go and pulls me to him. Leaning in, he brushes his lips against my lower jaw and whispers, "I'll see you tomorrow then, Sanaa." His soft breath is on my neck before he kisses me under my ear. We're frozen together for a moment, and I catch myself before I sigh. It's the most wonderful feeling ever, to be held by him, so close I can feel his chest rise and fall, his heart beating in time with mine. He pulls away and touches my hair softly, tucking it up over my shoulder.

"Night, Jiro."

He turns to go, and watching him walk off down the street, I take a deep breath. It's now my life's mission to kiss him, and I smile. I hope he knows what he's in for.

# Chapter Fourteen

It's been a long and frustrating twenty-four hours after the party at the okiya. I swear Sakai and Koichi must be able to tell feelings are brewing between Jiro and me because they have been glued to us ever since.

I spent the morning after the party alternately gathering data and staring out into space. I completely avoided footage of Matsuda, wanting the happy and light feelings to float around in my head for another day. I have to admit I sat close to an hour with my eyes closed and my fingertips on the spot under my ear where Jiro kissed me. I hope if Sakai watches video of me at the theater he thinks I'm merely concentrating. Does he watch me? I don't know. Only if he never sleeps, otherwise how would he find the time?

I showed up to the dōjō for practice with Jiro, and Koichi was waiting again. There was a moment right before we started when Jiro looked at me sadly and mouthed, "Sorry," before his father turned around and caught us staring at each other. Then I proceeded to get my butt kicked for over two hours. Jiro and Koichi pushed me so hard I actually screamed in frustration more than once. I thought maybe I would steal Jiro away for dinner, but Sakai intercepted him and asked Jiro to come with him for an important meeting. I got dressed as quickly as I could before I lashed out at Sakai for interfering in my well-laid plans.

Now, I've woken in the middle of the night again and can't get back to sleep. Lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling for hours on end and think. Think, think, think. I wish I could turn my brain off.

The rhythm of Aunt Kimie and Lomo's breathing from the next room is slowly putting me out of my misery. I listen hard — concentrate on the in and out — but my bed is vibrating, and it's keeping me from deep sleep. My bed is vibrating? Wait, my bedside table is shaking. Glasses in the kitchen sink are falling over.

I sit up in bed and shout for my aunts to wake up.

"Earthquake!"

Aunt Kimie and Lomo are quickly through the rice paper screen that separates us, and we stand in the doorway between the bedrooms and the kitchen as the apartment shakes. I lose my balance more than once but Aunt Lomo pulls me back each time. The chairs at our table are making a steady progression across the floor. The light fixtures bounce and sway.

Just when I'm sure it'll continue for a minute or longer, everything stops moving, and the sirens wail in the hallway. My tablet, which was on the table and is now on the floor, pings with news, but we are frozen in place, afraid to move.

"I think it's over," says Aunt Lomo, and it startles me into action. I tentatively walk forward and grab my tablet. It's not broken (gotta love Nishikyō's computer tech division), and when I take it out of standby, there's a city-wide message from Nishikyō News Service I relay to my aunts. The earthquake was weak but shallow. Clean-up crews will be dispatched to each ward to assess the damage.

"I'm worried about our neighbors. Let's get dressed and make our way down to the street." I'm not going to argue with Aunt Kimie. I'm concerned as well and a bit in shock. When I turn to make my way to my dresser, my head stops but the room keeps swinging, a wave of wooziness sweeping over me.

"I don't feel so good. The world is still shaking."

"Sit down for a minute and see if it goes away. Meet us downstairs? Oh, and avoid the elevator." Thanks, Aunt Kimie. Because getting stuck in a metal box is exactly what I want right now. I'll take the stairs, of course.

I'm still holding on to my tablet, so I make my way to my bed and sit down. If I close my eyes, it gets worse, so I get online and access the reports from Nishikyō Geological. The epicenter was only six kilometers from here. With it so close, we'll probably have aftershocks for days. It used to be Canada's tectonic plates were pretty stable, but Earth's decay has led to a lot of movement in the past two hundred years.

When Nishikyō was built, the engineers in charge thought that Canada, being so far north and fairly unpopulated in the wilderness, would be an excellent choice of location. It is certainly cooler than the old United States, but Earth's deterioration has not spared us. The desert encroached on Nishikyō after only a hundred years. The earthquakes started around the same time.

My tablet pings as I'm reading over the report. A message from Jiro.

" _Are you all right? That was a big one._ "

"Yes, we're fine. Just some broken glasses. I was awake, of course, so we all stood in a doorway quickly. Is everyone okay there?"

" _Yoichi and I are fine. He's gone to check on our parents._ "

"I hope they're okay."

" _I'm sure they're fine. I'm sorry about practice today. Not my choice to have my father there, that's for sure._ "

"I understand. Maybe we'll have better luck tomorrow."

_"Let's hope so. Get some sleep. I'm worried about you."_

Gods, he's sweet. "I promise to go right to sleep as soon as I can."

_"Be careful."_

"You too."

And I sign off before I start to cry from stress.

After sitting for another minute, the world is righted again. I dress and head down to the main lobby of our building, not meeting anyone along the way, only to find a river running down our street. Raging water is sweeping away everything in its path including bikes, baskets, bags of trash, and a shoe or two. Next to the door stand my aunts and half the building's residents holding on to a few water-soaked individuals. Across the street, the same situation is happening, but now a wall of water separates us.

A moment of panic seizes me. I can't swim. Hell, I don't think many people in Nishikyō know how to swim. There are no pools, and so, no opportunity to learn. This water is deadly, and I shrink back from it like it's acid. The sound is deafening. Roaring. If they don't stop it promptly, the whole ward will be sunk in about five minutes.

"Everyone please move inside. The water main will be turned off soon." A voice booms down from above, and I jump and shriek. That's the first time in my life I have ever heard the emergency alert system in use. I'm relieved, but I hope I never hear it again.

As we close the door on the watery chaos in the street, my neighbors are grumbling about how water will be rationed for a few days while the processing station is overworked, and the engineering crews are called in to fix the main. No more long showers for me.

I'm so tired now I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow. My dreams are filled with raging water and blue sky. In one of them, I stand next to Jiro in the desert under a clear, deep sky. My left hand clutches his shirt as I'm being crushed to the ground and swallowed up by the sand. He tries to dig me out, but each time I breathe air, another wave of sand takes me under. Earthquake sirens blare, and I panic, the world turning black around me.

I wake in a cold sweat, my pillow completely soaked, and the sirens are my alarm beeping like it does every morning. That's really not the way to start my day. I drag myself to the bathroom, and the panel in the shower has rationed me to a two minute soap-up-and-rinse sprint. At the very least, I'm glad it's hot.

Sakai is mournful when I reach the dōjō.

"I'm relieved you're here. I was worried and wondered if I should message you. Ku 9 looks undamaged," he says as he gestures out the window. "I saw a few sidewalk cracks but overall it looks good. Looks cleaner, too."

"Oh, that's because a water main broke and washed everything away. It was terrifying, actually." A shiver racks my entire body. I open my breakfast bento and take a sip of coffee. "They fixed it pretty quickly, though. How is the rest of the city?"

"Mainly structural damage. There's a huge hole down the street from the Itō dōjō. Only a few reported deaths which is good, but the earthquake has a lot of people rattled. Colonization efforts will be hastened. This part of the world is in sharp decline, and we don't expect it to stay stable long."

He takes a deep breath, and my heart breaks for him.

"This has been your home for a long time. I know it must hurt to see it falling apart." Sidling up to him, I place my arm around his waist. I'm happy his face cracks and he smiles before putting his arm around me and squeezing back.

"You're a good kid. Your parents would be proud of you." I'm going to let the kid reference go. I'm too happy to have him close to me to care. When did this man become so important to me? I feel like he's always been around, but really, he is someone new in my life... and he's someone I never want to be rid of.

"Mark, I need a day off." Jiro and I have just finished a grueling session where he worked me until I couldn't walk straight. What is going on? This is two days in a row he's been ruthless at practice. It's also the second day we've been observed fighting. Sakai spent the entire time sitting or standing and watching us. I feel like I've been under a microscope.

"I've been working for almost three months straight with no time off besides the okiya. I miss my friends. I miss sleep. Just one day. To relax and catch up on life. Please?" Sakai looks disappointed, but I'm not going to give up. He should know persistence is my strongest virtue. "I've done all of this without complaining. One. Day."

Sakai sighs. "Fine. Don't overdo it." I let out a tiny squeal — sometimes it's necessary — and lunge forward to kiss him on the cheek before he can move away.

"Arigatō!"

He smiles at me. Ever since I cried on him, he has gotten a little softer around the edges. I sometimes wonder if he missed out on having children. He would have been a great father. Maybe if things had been different, he would have been my father, but who knows?

I skip over to the sword rack and place mine next to Jiro's.

"Finally taking a day off?" He leans past me, watching the door close behind Sakai. We're alone.

"Yes. Finally."

"Soooo..." he says, thinking. "What are your plans for tomorrow night?"

"I'm hoping you'll meet me at Izakaya Tanaka for dinner... If you're not busy, that is." Why, after all this time, and the kiss, am I still nervous about asking him out? Jiro smiles and thinks for a moment as he grabs a towel, and wow, he is making me squirm on purpose. I want to deck him.

"You know, I'm already there, almost every night."

"Really? You aren't exhausted after a long day of whipping me into shape?"

He looks me dead in the eye. "I have boundless energy."

I bet you do.

I clear my throat. "Are there no bars around here you would rather go to?"

"There are plenty of bars around here but none that are owned by your best friend's family." He finishes up with the towel and throws it in the auto-hamper. Has Jiro been going to the izakaya every night waiting for me to show up?

"Of course I'll meet you for dinner. My brother and Miko are practically permanent residents there."

"Then we'll meet up with them, too?" This sounds like an excellent idea.

We stand and stare at each other, my head light with lust. When we're no longer sword fighting, I have trouble not reaching out to touch Jiro in any way. His body is like a magnet I can't resist the pull of.

"I'll arrange it. Seven o'clock again?" he asks.

I close my eyes and nod before the tension between us gets too uncomfortable.

I take the transitway back to Ku 9, shower, eat a light meal, send a message to Miko about hitting the izakaya tomorrow, and go directly to bed without seeing either of my aunts. They must be out for the evening because the apartment is deserted. Well, they have lives too, I have to remember. I fall asleep fast without cares or worries about my workload.

Late the next morning, I wake from a deep, dreamless sleep in a panic before remembering I have the day off. This is nice. I forgot how lovely it is to relax in bed without rushing to get someplace.

I have a good stretch, and my body aches in places I didn't even know existed. On my way to the bathroom, I stop at the mirror, stifle a yawn, and examine my face — still the same girl but my physique has changed. Weeks of holding a sword have defined the muscles in my shoulders and upper arms. Squats, jumps, and lunges have strengthened my legs and abdomen. I run my hand along the top of my shoulder and think about Jiro's tattoos. I really want some. What would I even get?

It's been almost three years since I dated Joshua, and I think I can finally admit he was crazy, that it wasn't me, it was him. I'm not as straight-up-and-down as I used to be. All the exercise has pulled me into a shape I can be proud of. It still hurts to remember the way he made fun of me, though. I doubt those memories will ever go away.

The smell of breakfast invades my room from the kitchen. My aunts must be up and awake. Grabbing my robe, I slip on some house shoes and go out to sit with them.

"You came in late last night," I say. My room is only partially walled off from my aunts' room. Rice paper screens don't provide much privacy, but now that I've been away and working so much, I no longer worry about encroaching on their alone time.

"You're here," Aunt Lomo says, a wide smile popping onto her face. "We haven't seen you this late in the morning in weeks."

"Months," Aunt Kimie says, concern etching two parallel lines between her eyes. These two are such opposites sometimes.

"Don't worry, Auntie. I took the day off. Needed a break. Coffee?"

"Yes, of course." Aunt Kimie busies herself with making coffee and rice while I yawn and slump down at the table.

"What have you been up to? Are they working you too hard?" Aunt Lomo has no idea how hard I'm being worked.

"Long days and some long nights. A lot of things changed once the new Colonization Chief was announced. I've been helping out in other departments, too."

"Is that what's going on?" Aunt Kimie serves me rice, nori, and soy salmon with a side of black coffee. "I stopped by to see you three days ago and no one knew where you were."

I pause but parlay the lapse into blowing on my coffee. "Three days ago? Hmmm, I was probably working off site. I get called away from my desk a lot." It's a lame excuse, but I hope that will tide her over. Once Aunt Kimie gets an idea in her head, she will be pretty nosy about learning every detail. I should distract her.

"You know, I was thinking it's probably time I got my own place..." My aunts freeze and Aunt Lomo's eyes immediately edge with tears. Uh oh. "Not that I don't love you both a whole lot. More than anything! It's just that I'm twenty now, and I've been working for four years, and..." And I want to be able to bring boys home whenever I want, and not just any boys. Jiro. I press my mouth shut.

"Of course, darling." Aunt Lomo smiles and shakes her head, ridding herself of the tears she almost let loose. "You're so busy. Do you want help?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm swamped at work. I just want a little efficiency place. I don't even need a real bedroom."

Aunt Lomo pats my hand. "I'll find you something." Aunt Kimie turns from us both and heads straight for their room. I feel guilty wanting to get away, but I also want my own space. Miko has lived on her own for two years, in the same building as her parents, but still, she's independent. Helena has been talking about moving out. I don't want to be left behind.

I grab my tablet off the side table and Miko has written back to my message last night. It merely says, " _See you there!_ "

A message from Helena is right after Miko's.

" _I hear you'll be at the izakaya tonight for dinner. I wish I could come, but I can't. Can you have lunch? We need to catch up._ "

Great idea, Helena. I respond to her and make plans to meet up for ramen back in Ku 5. My day is looking up.

# Chapter Fifteen

When the ramen lands in front of me, steam curling from the lip of the heavy ceramic bowl, I take a moment to lean over and inhale a deep breath.

"Mmmm, Sanaa-chan. This was an excellent idea. _Itadakimasu!_ "

We both grab our chopsticks and dive in. Hot, salty broth with a densely dotted oily sheen covers up long ramen noodles, dark green leafy vegetables, slices of carrots, and a few coins of fake fish cake rimmed in pink I always save for last. I like to savor ramen because I don't get here often, so I grab my spoon and sip the soup for a bit before eating the noodles.

"How did your place fare in the earthquake? Were your parents around?"

"No. Well, my mother was home and sleeping but..." She sighs and slumps forward. "I was stupid and didn't clean up after dinner, and all the plates bounced straight off the table and broke. Every single one of them. What a mess. We spent an hour cleaning it up. My father said two shelves collapsed at work, but that no one was hurt." She shakes her head and sips her soup, drowning the greens in broth before lifting a hefty spoonful to her mouth.

"You should have seen the river of water in my street. It was crazy — swept everything away." I still can't stop thinking about it. I'm so relieved I was in bed and not out. "I never want to see that again. Anyway, I'm sorry you can't come tonight. You've been working a lot lately. I swear we've switched lives somehow."

"Well, I've decided to go for it. I'm moving to Ku 6... next week!"

"No. That's fabulous news! Congratulations." I raise my water glass to her, and we clink and drink. It's not sake but it'll do for now. "Wow, next week. How did your parents take the news?"

"Oh, you know them, always working. They don't care." Helena slurps up a long string of noodles and tries to look like she cares less than her parents, but it's not fooling me. I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. "It's okay. Really. It's better this way. And no birthday party until April. I'm too busy and Miko agreed we'd do it then." Helena's birthday is coming up fast, the eighteenth of March. Time is flying.

"Whatever you'd like. So you've been working double shifts?" I ask, changing the conversation.

"I'm working extra in Ku 4 to pay for the moving expenses. I've also been working with a massage group in Ku 6 that caters to the big families. I hope to get a permanent position at an _onsen_ , but we'll see."

The big families.

My chopsticks are paused half-way to my mouth for ten whole seconds before I realize I'm staring at Helena like she's grown three heads.

"What, Sanaa?" She checks herself and over her shoulder.

"I just... I just remembered something I forgot to do at work. Damn." Onsens, massage parlors, tattoo parlors. All of these are places I should be watching, but I've been neglecting because I'm too afraid of the violence. But I always knew this day would come — the day when I was more intrigued by what I could be researching than my own fears.

Suck it up, Sanaa.

"Is it something you need to do right now? We can finish up quick and go, if you want."

I love Helena. She always puts everyone's needs in front of her own.

"No, no. I can do it tomorrow." And I will do it tomorrow. No more tip-toeing around the job I need to be doing. Sakai is going to evaluate the data I've pulled and scold me again if I don't follow all the players. I feel like he's been going easy on me lately. I haven't heard a peep from him about any of my research. I often wonder why I bother going to Ku 1 at all.

Slurping up my noodles, I'm finally seeing the bottom of my bowl. "So, if you're moving next week, have you already found an apartment?"

Maybe I shouldn't have asked Aunt Lomo to help me find a place. She'll search Ku 9, but everyone I'll want to hang out with will be in Ku 6. It's not like I spend time in Ku 9 anymore anyway.

"Yep. Actually, Yoichi's family helped me get it. It's down the street from where they all live. You know what? I think Miko's going to marry that boy." She smiles before breaking out in a laugh so sarcastic that it makes her eyes roll. "My gods, does he know what he's getting into?"

"Something tells me he does, and he can more than handle it." All that's left in my bowl are my two little fish cakes. I poke one a few times before popping it into my mouth. In my mind, I can picture Jiro's smiling face at the okiya. "They're a good match."

"What about you and Jiro?"

I swear everyone can read my mind these days.

"Miko says he's been asking about you at Izakaya Tanaka," Helena continues with a smile. "What you do at the Colonization division, what your aunts are like, what you were like in school..." She purses her lips and raises her eyes to the ceiling. "I think he quite likes you actually."

I reach out and hit her on the arm. "Stop it. You're embarrassing me." I'm laughing anyway. So I guess I've captured Jiro's attention. Now I have to hold on with all my might.

"You went out with him two nights in a row, right?" I had sent Helena messages, but, apparently, Miko has been filling her in as well. "So make the move already. You've flirted on New Year's Eve, been training with him — I still can't believe you're learning sword fighting — gone out with him twice... Just kiss him or something."

"Oh, Helena. You have no idea." No idea how close I am to doing just that the next time I see him. I twirl my spoon around in my bowl as a blush starts on my neck.

"What?" She eyes me and laughs. "You're always cheering me on. I'm moving to Ku 6 because you finally pushed me to take control of my life. I want you to do the same."

"Thanks. I love you to pieces." I always tell my friends I love them. Life is too short not to.

Helena looks at the wall clock and sighs.

"I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work. Can we do this again soon?" Helena folds her napkin and puts it on the table.

"Yes, and let me pay today. My treat. You save your money for moving." I'm so glad I still get paid to do a job I no longer do. I have no idea where the money comes from but my account gets an influx of cash every week. I take out my tablet, pair it up with the store's computer, and pay.

"Thanks. You're sweet. Meet you outside?" Helena grabs her bag and starts towards the front. The place is still crowded and the young boy who got us the table bows to Helena as she exits.

I slip my tablet back into my bag, and when I turn, I see him.

It's Matsuda.

Seated at the far end of the noodle bar, he's watching me. Without taking his eyes from me, he pushes his brown hair off his face, over to one ear, and... he smiles at me. But only his mouth is smiling. His eyes are narrowed and as cold as ever. I quickly glance behind me to see if his attention is on someone else, but when I turn back, his body shakes silently with laughter. I just gave myself away. I'm not even going to guess as to how he knows who I am. He's a part of Sakai's world — was a part of my parents' — and has probably seen me with Sakai or Jiro in Ku 6. He is following me like I follow him.

Though I'm rationalizing his sudden appearance in my head, my hands shake. What do I do? Jiro has been teaching me offensive moves in sword fighting recently. _Keep your opponents guessing what your next move is_ , he said to me yesterday. _Don't show them your fear._ So instead of bolting from the ramen shop, I reach into my bag, grab my hair pin, and twist my hair up while maintaining eye contact with him. I don't leave the table. I don't flinch. It's the hardest thing I have ever done.

Matsuda picks up his chopsticks and taps on his bowl twice before running his hand through his hair and letting it fall across his face. He has looked away first. I win this round.

I stride, not too quickly, past him to the front of the shop and meet Helena outside.

"Let's go. I'll walk you to the train." I grab her arm and pull her towards the transitway entrance before she can ask me anything else.

It's my day off, and I have six full hours to do whatever I want before meeting up with Jiro at the izakaya at seven o'clock, and what do I do? I leave Helena in the station in Ku 5 and take a train in the opposite direction straight for Ku 1. I set the computers a few days ago to track Matsuda's money trail. Now I need to research where he's been and if he's been watching me for longer than today. The thought of this cold-blooded killer following me everywhere makes me sick to my stomach, but that's the fear talking. Fear that I'm going to push aside because, little does Matsuda know, I have information on my side he does not.

I scan my hand at theater 3B, and the door clicks open like it always does. Does no one else ever use this room? I'm not even going to bother checking the scheduling program because I bet Sakai has it blocked off as occupied indefinitely. It's just the thing he would do.

I sit down at the desk and call up Matsuda's bank account activity for the past few months. I don't think I was on his radar before New Year's Eve, so I concentrate on January, February, and March. Hmmm, this is going to take awhile. The man spends a ton of money, and I'm not surprised to find it's mostly all in Ku 6. He sticks close to home.

Maybe instead of starting at the beginning, I should work my way back in time from today. Since surveillance data is on a twenty-four-hour delay with my level of access, I'll begin with yesterday. The cameras placed across the street from the Itō dōjō are a good place to start.

Accessing the surveillance database, I find the video feeds based on the dōjō address. I scrub the video back in time and see myself enter the building approximately twenty-four hours ago. Where are the other cameras on the block? I find four more and add them to the video grid, synching them all up to the same time index.

There I am again, and there! Dammit. Across the street is Matsuda. He's two buildings down and pressed against the wall of an alley. I never look that way because it's the opposite direction of the transitway entrance. I only ever go straight to the dōjō and never spend any extra time exploring Ku 6. Matsuda must know that by now.

I rewind the video. He purposely waits for me about twenty minutes before I even show up. Previous to that, he enters the alley from the rear. Curse me for always being on time and predictable. Does he follow me to Ku 1 as well? What about my home?

My chest flutters, my heart malfunctioning, and it's becoming hard to breathe. No, don't panic, Sanaa. I hold all the cards here. He doesn't know I can watch him. I take a deep breath, stand up, and bounce a little on my toes like I'm about to grab a sword and attack. I close my eyes and imagine standing by Jiro's side, my feet soft upon the mats, my arms in front of me, my grip loose. The tension in my chest lessens, and my heart starts pumping.

I'm ready to start digging. I rewind the dōjō camera over and over. Every day, Matsuda waits for me to enter and stays until I leave. The one day I fell asleep during practice and Jiro led me to the door (was that only four days ago?) Matsuda slinks back along the wall out of sight. He and Jiro know each other, and based on this, I get the feeling Matsuda does not want Jiro to see him.

Rewind, rewind, rewind. Wait! Suddenly he's not there anymore. Before this trip to the dōjō, he wasn't following me. Now, what spurred him to start? When I count the number of minutes it takes me to walk from the transitway entrance to the dōjō, it's a whopping three in total. Three minutes on the street is not a long time to catch someone's attention especially since I walk fast and keep my head down.

But the day Matsuda first sees me was not a normal day. It was the time we all went to Ku 10 together. On the video, Sakai and I walk leisurely to the dōjō after exiting the station. We were having some random conversation about Yoichi and Miko's matchmaker because Sakai had mentioned his mother was a clan match. I don't even remember what he said, but we both laugh and across the street, from the other camera angle, Matsuda stops in his tracks, frozen in place, his eyes trained on us both.

He stares with his mouth open before backing up into the alley he always watches me from now. He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. He reaches back into his bag he has slung across his shoulder and takes out his tablet, typing on it with one hand while watching the dōjō door. His knuckles clutching the tablet whiten, and I'm pretty sure he's swearing, but I've never been good at reading lips. Still, he keeps his cool and waits in the shadows until Sakai, Jiro, and I emerge from the building again.

How did none of us see him? Oh, maybe it's because I'm talking and flirting with Jiro, and Sakai is following us and smiling. We are all so oblivious it makes me laugh.

So, what have I learned here besides the fact that love makes me blind? Matsuda sees me with Sakai and Jiro, and what? Does he know who I am? Does he know what I do? Why does he care?

I rewind the video and pause it on the first time he saw me. That look of shock on his face is there for a reason. Sitting back in the chair and pulling my legs up to my chest, I rest my chin on my knees and think.

Matsuda, why are you so surprised to see me there?

# Chapter Sixteen

At seven o'clock, I meet up with Miko, Yoichi, and Jiro at the izakaya. After spending hours in Ku 1, I ran home, showered, and changed into my black pants and shirt. I dug through my closet until I found my _haori_ coat I've been saving for a special occasion. It's black and green with a large orange koi fish along the bottom back. Helena always threatens to steal it from me whenever I wear it. That Helena needs to find a nice Japanese boy already. I'm willing to bet she meets someone soon after she moves.

Instead of leaving my hair down, I twisted it into a knot at the base of my neck and slipped in a silver comb that was my mother's. I even put on makeup again, and I think I did a better job of it this time. At least, I hope so. Aunt Lomo was not at home to smooth it out and tell me it looks okay.

I have another grand entrance at Izakaya Tanaka and turn to the booths to find Jiro laughing and shaking his head. That will never get old. Yoichi is at the bar with Miko sitting next to him. She's examining something on her tablet when she waves me over.

"Miko-chan, how are you?" I lean in, and we give each other a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm great! Happy. You look hot, Sanaa-chan." She pulls back so she can scan me from top to bottom.

"Thanks. Hi, Yoichi. It's good to see you again."

"Sanaa," he says with a smile and a nod, but nothing more. I need to get to know him better soon.

"The izakaya looks to be in one piece," I say, taking in the bar and tables surrounding us. "Didn't lose anything in the quake?"

"Just one maneki-neko, unfortunately." Miko pouts. She loves those cats. "And some stock fell over in the back, but this is a good solid building. It has always held up during quakes."

The building has been in her family for so long this is not the first earthquake it's lived through under their ownership.

"Yoichi is quickly helping me with some financial stuff, but we'll come over and sit down with you two for dinner in about fifteen minutes. I ordered up food for us already."

"What's good tonight?" I ask with a smile.

"Sushi. Kagetora is on duty tonight."

"Fantastic." I squeeze her arm, nod and smile at Yoichi, and walk to Jiro's table.

I should not be this happy. I just spent the afternoon watching video of Matsuda who has been following me, but I can't wipe the smile off my face. Jiro is gorgeous again in black. He's formidable in a way that makes all the blood pool right between my legs. He stands up when I reach the table.

"Good evening. _Suware na_?" He asks me to sit and gestures to the seat on the inside of the booth between him and the wall, so I move past him and sit down. Mmmm, I love it when he uses the more masculine Japanese. I've never dated a Japanese man before and hearing him speak makes me swoon. I am stupidly love sick.

"How are you? It was strange not having our usual practice session this afternoon." I actually missed it despite asking for the day off. I would've much rather have been with him than spending the afternoon in Ku 1 unexpectedly.

"It _was_ strange. I didn't know what to do with myself. And I'm fine... happy," he says, smiling at me.

I remember how we left things two nights ago after the okiya and how determined I am to grab him for myself. Being forward with him is the only way to do this.

I reach over and slide my hand easily into his. "Me too."

There are those first few seconds when you're staring at someone you want to kiss and think it's going to happen, and you lean in a little and smile... But then a waiter comes by with a bottle of sake and ruins it. The carafe hits the table with a thump and knocks me straight out of the moment.

Seriously, that was uncalled for.

Jiro clears his throat, and I blush so badly I think my face will melt off.

"Sake, Sanaa?" He doesn't even wait for my response, just pours.

"Yes, absolutely." I squeeze his hand. "That waiter has the worst timing ever."

Jiro laughs, leans in, and kisses me on the neck again, right below my ear, and his head and mine are so close together I close my eyes and rest my cheek on his. It causes a long sigh to exit my body. My shoulders drop and my cheek sinks deeper against his. I want to move my head and kiss him now, but the waiter is back to give us appetizers. I'm afraid to open my eyes and see who it is. I don't need the further blushes it will bring to my face.

Jiro pulls back and says, "Mmmm."

I take a sip of sake before I say anything in response. I don't know what it is about Jiro, but I'm not the least bit shy with him. It was awkward in the beginning with the dōjō and the cameras, but our carefulness has disappeared. I've never been a shy girl. I was the one who asked Joshua out, and when I dumped him and was depressed, I started hitting on Chad. I don't like to wait for things I want. I like to push and shove, be more forward and confident until I get what I want. The smile on Jiro's face tells me that's exactly what he likes.

"I hope you haven't eaten. We ordered a lot of food." His thumb strokes my hand a few times before he lets go.

"Nope. I had ramen with Helena in Ku 5, and then I..." Maybe it's time I confided more in Jiro? He knows what I do each day, I'm sure.

"What?" he asks while loading up his plate with dumplings.

I cringe. I didn't want to talk about my problems when happy feelings are bouncing between us.

"Well..."

He sets down his plate and turns to me. "Spit it out. What's going on?"

"So, we talked about Tadao Matsuda last time we were here." He nods his head, his eyes intense. "I do know him. I watch all these people for Mark, and he's one of them. A few days ago I watched him beat a man to death in front of the cameras."

Jiro stiffens. His muscles are tense, and he's barely breathing. His reaction is so severe a vein in his temple starts to throb. I'm not afraid of Matsuda, but instead I'm afraid of what Jiro will do when I tell him the rest of this story.

"And today I found him watching me at the ramen shop."

He sets his chopsticks down forcefully on the plate, and they roll in different directions. "You what? What happened?"

"You're gonna laugh," I say with a chuckle, but he's not laughing. "I thought about what you were teaching me about offensive sword fighting, and I basically stared him down until he went back to his noodles."

A hint of a smile graces Jiro's face. Just a hint.

"And then I gave up any idea of having a day without work, went to Ku 1, and watched Matsuda on video. Turns out he's been following me for about a week now."

Jiro is stone cold silent and staring straight into my eyes. My heart is picking up pace in my chest.

"Jiro, say something before I faint."

"Matsuda is... following you." It's not even a question. He's clutching the edge of the table with such force his fingertips are turning white. "He's a killer."

I reach out and lightly touch the tops of his hands and slide my fingers under his, prying them from the table top. "I know. And I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to find out until I talk to Mark tomorrow."

"Let's talk to him tonight. Right now."

He wants to protect me, and it's really turning me on. Stop, Sanaa. Not right this moment.

I close my eyes. Focus.

His right hand is cold in both of mine, and I take my thumbs and massage some life back into it. "No. Not right now. Not tonight." I flip his hand over and press my palm down directly on top of his, making a sandwich of his hand in mine, my heart beating way up in my throat. "Please." It comes out more desperate than I want it to, but dammit, I'm so tired of waiting for one crisis after another to end before I can make a meaningful connection with Jiro. Matsuda is not going to take it away from me now.

"Sanaa, I want..."

I shake my head at him because Miko and Yoichi are heading our way. "We're about to have company. Let's eat. We'll work this out later."

I fear the mood between us has cooled way too much to get anything more out of this evening, but when Miko and Yoichi sit down, and we start to eat and drink together, Jiro relaxes a little. He puts his hand on my knee while talking, and I let my fingers play over his until he's so relaxed he even smiles. That's better.

Yoichi and Mariko helped Helena find an apartment earlier this week, and Miko's profits from last year were better than the previous year. Her mother is staying home more often and letting Miko take on more responsibilities at the izakaya. Miko's father is always here, though. He loves being social, and Miko got her winning personality from him. She got her good sense in all things but love (until now) from her mother.

We've been steadily clearing out the appetizers, sushi, and sake, and every little bit is delicious. I want to stay here all night and not have my day off ever end, but the sake is creeping its way through me. I should get up and make my way to the bathroom. When I get back to the table, I'll pull Jiro away and have him sit with me alone at the bar for a while.

"The food was delicious, Miko. Kagetora is amazing as always." I place my napkin next to me and turn to Jiro. "Would you let me out? I'll be back in a minute."

When I'm done in the bathroom, I stare at my reflection in the mirror for quite some time. The freckles on my nose, the ones Jiro called kawaii, are standing out again, and it makes me wonder if I resemble my mother when she was twenty. I've seen some photos of her a few years older but none from when she was my age. If we look as alike as my aunts, Sakai, Koichi, and Mariko say we do, perhaps Matsuda sees it too? That's a thought. He was so surprised to see me that maybe he thought, for a moment, I was my mother. Why he cares is another question entirely.

I wash and dry my hands and leave the bathroom before Jiro sends out a search party. As I'm heading back, I pass by a man using the public terminal.

It's Matsuda. Twice in one day is not a coincidence.

I turn my head to him as I walk by, he looks up from what he's doing, and we stop, but he takes a breath before I can and approaches me. I'm too terrified to move.

"So, Sanaa Griffin, are you following me now? Or should I call you Hanako?"

"Uh..." I stammer. Hanako? What the hell is that? What should I say? Yes, I'm following you? No, I'm here with friends? I opt for, "I think you're the one following me, actually." And it was the right response because he immediately backs off, a smile playing about his lips.

"How was your ramen today?" he asks.

"Excellent. Yours?"

"Their noodles are getting a little soft for my taste."

"Back off, Matsuda."

I turn around, and Jiro is standing behind me. I didn't even hear him approach. I'm glad he was the search party and not Miko.

"You wouldn't want to cause a scene, now, would you?"

Jiro's hand is on my arm as he pulls me to the side.

"If you don't want a scene then you should be on your way." Jiro has stepped in front of me, and I take the opportunity to smile and raise my eyebrows at Matsuda. It's not the most prudent thing to do, taunting a killer like him, but damned if I'm going to play the scared victim.

He grins back in that strangely detached way he has, his dirty brown locks fallen over his face.

"Don't forget to ask Sakai about your aunts, Sanaa."

Jiro takes several steps backwards, slowly pushing me towards the door to the back alley. Matsuda walks to the last of the private rooms, opens the door, and glances at us as he enters, closing the door behind him.

Jiro turns and pushes me out the door. "Let's go. Hurry!"

"Jiro, I can't leave Miko back at the table... and my bag!" What the hell is he doing?

"We're not leaving for good." He surveys the back of the restaurant and pulls me toward the side alley between the two buildings. Near the end of the alley is a pile of delivery crates, and he runs to them. "Here, help me with this." Jiro starts grabbing and stacking crates against the building.

"What are you doing?" I'm exasperated and, well, the outside air has only reinforced how much I've had to drink tonight. If Jiro thinks I'm going to stack crates in a back alley, he is mistaken.

"Look." And he points upward. About two and a half meters above us is a long line of windows along the length of the building, and now I remember each of the private rooms has a window. I jump right next to Jiro and stack two crates up. He climbs on his and holds out his hand to grab mine and pull me up. Despite the drink, we are both light on our feet and nimble. The crates barely creak as we straighten up to peer over the edge.

"You think she followed you here?" says a female voice out of visibility. It sounds familiar, though.

"No. I get the impression she was here with Jiro Itō or maybe someone else. He came out and confronted us."

"Did you see Mark Sakai?" A female hand reaches out of the corner of the room and slides the rice paper door open. "I don't see any of them in the restaurant. Maybe you scared them off."

"So, you're certain, Tadao? Absolutely certain?" This is not the female nor Matsuda. Another man is present, but I don't recognize his voice.

"She is the spitting image of her mother. All the way down to her voice. I'm certain."

"Then the _kiku_ line was not destroyed as we thought it was."

"Kiku? What's that?" I whisper at Jiro. He shakes his head.

"Perhaps even she doesn't know."

My heart has stopped. They're talking about me!

"Mark Sakai is behind this somehow. We'll have to do some more digging and figure it out." Matsuda does not sound happy.

"But it's been over fifteen years. How were we to know she was still alive?"

"We should go before they come back or anyone else sees us," says the female voice. She gets up from the table, and it's Emiko Matsuda, the new head of the Colonization Committee, and Tadao Matsuda's wife. I sink down so I won't be seen, but before they leave, I peek up again and the third man is none other than the head of Minamoto clan, Yoshinori Minamoto. Huh. In all of my research of the Minamotos and Tairas, I have never heard any of their voices. All of the surveillance footage is silent.

We jump down from our crates, and I stumble a little. Jiro reaches out and grabs me before I fall over. Yep, still tipsy. Hurriedly, we make our way to the back of the building again.

"Kiku? Have you ever heard that before?" Jiro asks. I shake my head. Never.

"Jiro. Jiro, they were talking about me. What in the hell is going on?"

My thoughts race, and I'm not making any sense out of them. Kiku line? My mother?

Jiro grabs my hand. "I..." He falters and just looks at me.

I don't know what he wants to say, and I don't care. I only see his concerned and handsome face and want to kiss him so badly it hurts. So I lean in and stop him before he can get any further. It's a split-second decision I'm sure I won't regret because he immediately brings his hands to my face and is kissing me back.

Ah. I finally got the kiss I've been obsessing over, and it's exactly what I was hoping for and more because it's slow, steady, and passionate. It's the kind of kiss I've longed for, the kind neither Chad nor Joshua could give me because they just couldn't love me. His lips are sweet, and he's much better at this than I am, so I relax against him, and it only causes him to kiss me harder. I wrap my arms around his waist and feel, not just know, how strong he is. Through his shirt, my hands play over the muscles in his lower back that tighten as I press my body into his. It makes my knees weak.

And then, it's over so quick. We break apart and stare at each other.

I ask because I need to be sure. "We're not going to regret this, are we?"

He smiles and pushes his hair back from his face, the lock of bright white hair shining in the light from the alley door. I can't resist reaching out and touching it. He sighs, turning his cheek into my hand, and shakes his head.

"No. This is something I won't ever regret."

I knew right from the beginning, from the first moment we ever saw each other, we would be good for each other. I'm so glad I was right. He is exactly what I need. He's what's been missing from my life and my relationships, a well of strength and love, not a psychotic burst of mayhem or an emotionless shell. I hope I can hold on to him.

We're so wrapped up in each other now, kissing like we've been held back from it for years, my hands in his hair, his hands around my waist. I press myself against the wall and hold him close, but he pulls me back against him. His hands travel up my back and loosen my hair out from its knot, taking the silver comb that was holding it back and slipping it into my back pocket. My hair is kinked and wavy. Jiro grabs ahold of it, pulling my head back and kissing my neck. Oh gods, that's amazing.

I don't want to let him go so we stay out back together until it gets so late I hear Miko inside talking to the staff about the next day's schedule. She usually waits till midnight to do that.

"It's getting late, and you have to meet Sakai in the morning. I think tonight, I should go home and talk to him about Matsuda." He seems disappointed to be ending this, and it pleases me. We have been alternately kissing, staring at each other, or holding one another for almost two hours now. It's been the best two hours of my life. At the very least, I seem to be less drunk.

"I should come." Maybe I can get some answers.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "It's already late, and I'll have to wake Sakai." Right. It'll be easier for them both if I go home, I'm sure, but I want to be there, and it makes me pout. "I'll walk you to the transitway after we go inside. Yoichi and Miko are going to wonder where we are if we don't go back eventually." He puts his forehead against mine.

"Sanaa, listen. You and I still have to work together every day."

"You mean, you have to put me through intense training every day until I fall over. You've been awfully hard on me lately." I smile at him though I poke him in the chest with my index finger.

He smiles back and tucks my hair behind my ears. "I've been frustrated by our lack of... private time."

I nod. I know this feeling well.

"We can still work together. It'll be fine." I rest my head on his shoulder, burrowing my face on his neck. I breathe deep and remember his smell again. "Do you think it's okay with your family?"

His head nods against my shoulder as he squeezes me tighter. "My family is not opposed to us being together, though Sakai is ambivalent."

"Mark actually said something to me once."

"Really?" Jiro's eyebrows arch far up into his forehead.

"Yes. He wasn't giving his permission or anything, but he warned me it can't interfere with the iaido." I step back, putting an arm's length between us. "And we should be reserved and professional in front of others."

He laughs knowing this statement coming from my mouth is ridiculous. "All right, but we don't have to hide it, especially not in front of our friends and family. For everyone else, we'll have to be business-like."

Considering I'm supposed to be a part of this business eventually, this seems like the right course of action.

"Okay, I guess it would be the Japanese thing to do, anyway." Respect and honor are two things I need to pay more attention to.

"Now you're catching on." Jiro smiles and pulls me back for another kiss. I don't object.

# Chapter Seventeen

Coffee. I have to find coffee immediately. I awake to my alarm with a splitting headache and a mouth filled with cotton. I sit up and the room dips a few degrees to the left. I am _futsukayoi_ , drunk for the second day.

A smile breaks out on my face when I remember what happened last night. Damn, I'm happy, despite the headache and all that comes with it. Placing my fingers on my lips, I close my eyes. I grabbed Jiro. He's mine now, I'm sure of it. When I think of the way he kissed me — _I kissed him_ — a part of me deep down below starts to buzz and a rush of heat travels up my chest to my neck and face. Mmmm.

The only thing that marred the night was coming home and finding Aunt Kimie waiting up for me, reading from her tablet on the couch. I'm sure I was starry-eyed with lovesickness. She'll be asking me questions before long.

The last few months have gone by in such a blur. Sakai, Jiro, Yoichi, Koichi, a different job, a different life, sword fighting, violence, death, happiness, love. Before this, it was all work with only the hope of love and the promise of a brand-new life on a planet far away. I hated all the changes, and now I love them. I'm even beginning to accept the violence, betrayal, secrets, and lies that surround me.

The secrets. The lies. Sakai owes me the truth. Something big is going on around me. He's only ever hinted at it but, after last night's run-in with Matsuda, more lies and secrets exist that I cannot ignore the existence of anymore.

_"Don't forget to ask Sakai about your aunts, Sanaa."_

_"Then the kiku line was not destroyed as we thought it was."_

_"Perhaps even she doesn't know."_

Matsuda tried to call me Hanako. Maybe this Hanako and me are being mixed up? Who is she? At least now I'm sure why Matsuda was so surprised to see me in Ku 6. I do look like my mother.

After a long, hot, sobering shower, I get dressed and head to our small kitchen area. Aunt Lomo is eating and reading from her tablet. The coffee maker is already going for me. I grab some hot rice from the cooker, seaweed salad, and soy beans before coming to the table.

"Good morning, Auntie," I say as I lean over and give Aunt Lomo a kiss on the cheek. She smiles, but then waves in front of her face.

"Oi! Were you out drinking last night?"

"Yes. Sorry. It seems to be coming out of my pores." The perma-smile I've been trying to suppress comes back with a vengeance. Aunt Lomo puts down her tablet and narrows her eyes at me.

"You're seeing someone, aren't you? It's written _all_ over your face. A boy?" I stare at her. Do I tell her? "A girl?"

"No. No, it's a boy."

"Hmmm, Kimie and I thought maybe you were gay. Nothing wrong with that, of course."

"Oh Auntie..." I burst out in a huge laugh. "You're gay. Of course, it's okay. It's been fine as long as I can remember. No, I like a boy." My cheeks are blushing again. Aunt Kimie has always been the one I talk to about crushes or friends. Aunt Lomo is sweet and kind but not a confidante.

She reaches forward and pats my hand. "Whatever you decide, as long as you're happy, that's all I care about. You've meant so much to me and Kimie. Never forget how much we love you."

I try not to cry because for the first time in months, I'm at peace.

"Thanks. I love you, too." I smile through unshed tears and clear my throat, mixing up my bowl of breakfast. "Where is Aunt Kimie, anyway?"

"Left early to run errands. We'll see her later. Oh! I have a few apartment addresses for you."

"Great." This day is turning around quickly. "Can you message them to me? I don't know how late I'll be tonight."

I eat, take care of my dishes, grab my bag, and leave. Double-timing it to the dōjō, I dodge in and out of people lazily walking to work. I'm already late this morning, but Sakai is still sipping on his tea when I walk in. He's not by the window as usual, though. Instead, he's looking at something on his tablet.

"Morning, Sanaa-chan. I hope you had a pleasant day off?" He takes barely a glance at me. "It looks like you did."

Dammit, he can always tell when I'm not at my best. "Hmmph, sorry. I, uh, had a little too much to drink last night."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. Why? What I do on my time off is my business." What's with this over-protective attitude?

"Well, from what I see here, you have a way with the men." He turns his tablet around. There, in high definition, is a photo of Jiro and me kissing in the back alley of Izakaya Tanaka.

I wince at my stupidity. "I forgot to look for surveillance cameras before that happened."

"I'm glad you're not going to deny it," he says, smiling. "It would be a waste of effort."

"I'm not going to deny anything. It happened. I'm happy. It seems to be mutual. What more is there to say?"

It's none of Sakai's business, but I know how invested he is in this family. He doesn't seem disappointed about Jiro and me so I hope this means he approves.

"We talked about this before and, yes, what you do outside of training is none of my business," Sakai says. "But you will have to tread lightly. Others would not be happy with you aligning yourself with Sakai clan."

"I don't care what anyone thinks, except for you..." And to this, Sakai raises his eyebrows. "And my aunts, but generally, no one tells me what I can or cannot do."

I have taken this approach to my life ever since I was little. I'm certainly not stopping now.

"Good. You will need that. In the meantime, I hope you can still practice with Jiro?"

I nod. Yes, practice with him. It will be tough, but I will manage. I try not to smile.

"Excellent. You were doing something else before _this_ happened..." He gestures to his tablet again.

"Mark, you owe me some explanations." I plant my feet firmly on the ground and stare him directly in the eyes. "I could do this work indefinitely if you wanted me to, but why? Does any of this have a purpose? What happens next? Please talk to me."

"Sanaa-chan, you didn't grow up in Ku 6, and quite frankly, you should have. It was a mistake to ever remove you from there. But we all had your best interests in mind even if I didn't agree with most of it."

"Wait, can you please stop doing that?"

"What?"

"You off-handedly tell me you've been involved in my life and then don't elaborate on it? It drives me nuts. Either tell me or don't."

I hate this habit of Sakai's. He keeps doing this to me over and over.

"Matsuda has been following me." His face becomes frosty, like Jiro's did last night. "For at least a week now. He followed me to the okiya and waited until we all left. None of us saw him. As far as I can tell, he's never followed me home at night, but he was at Izakaya Tanaka, so he knows I'm there often as well."

"What happened last night?"

"He cornered me coming back from the bathroom, and we had the most disjointed and strange conversation I've ever had. Didn't Jiro talk to you?"

Sakai is quiet though his eyes search mine for several seconds before responding. "He did. What did Matsuda say?"

"He said, 'Be sure to ask Sakai about your aunts.' He also got me mixed up with someone else, someone named Hanako?"

We stand in silence for ages before my nervous energy takes ahold of my body and makes my feet tap.

"Mark Sakai. Say something, please." Gods, he and Jiro are exactly the same in so many ways. "Don't shut me out of this." It's the first time in a while I haven't been able to read him.

"It's no longer safe for you to spend any extended time in Ku 6 alone. I thought our brief moments between the dōjō and the transitway would not draw any attention, but I was wrong. I should have kept you in Ku 9 and made Jiro come to you. It would've been safer."

I think my heart has stopped beating. Safer? Than what?

"Is my life in danger?" I feel my knees weaken and shake, and it takes all my strength to keep standing.

Sakai grasps my shoulders. "I hope it isn't. I want to tell you everything because this, Matsuda, changes everything. We wanted to start educating you earlier because the colonization is starting earlier than we ever anticipated. But you weren't twenty yet, and it had to be legal. There could be no mistakes. I had to keep it all from Kimie, and I couldn't do that if you were still a minor. I've been doing this behind her back, and she is going to kill me when she finds out."

"This has something to do with my parents, doesn't it?"

"It has to do with your parents, with your family, with everything. Give me a day. I need to speak to some people, and then we can talk."

He quickly hugs me and steps back to straighten his shirt. I admit the quick hug is more disconcerting than anything. "In the meantime, you should not go anywhere in Ku 6 but the dōjō. If you want to go anywhere else, ask Jiro to come with you, and he must be armed. Understand?"

I swallow hard in a completely dry throat and nod.

"Now, Matsuda was at the izakaya last night with his wife and Yoshinori Minamoto. Did they say anything else you can tell me?"

"Not that I remember. The sake and..." I wave my hand at the tablet before blushing. "The kissing have blurred most of it."

"I was following Matsuda via the cameras last night. I saw them leave the izakaya together out front. It was when I checked the back alley that I found you and Jiro."

Oh boy. The heat rises to my cheeks again. "How much did you watch?"

He clears his throat. "Enough. Now..." He turns to grab his bag but stands at the window for a moment with a puzzled look on his face.

"What's the matter?" I move to the window to see what he's seeing, but everything out there is the same as it always is.

"Nothing. Let's go."

# Chapter Eighteen

I spend all morning watching tattoo parlors in Ku 6. After about three hours of studying the data, I determine that one parlor belongs to Minamoto's clan, the other is strictly Taira. From what I can tell, Taira and Minamoto never mix. They go to different theaters. Eat in different restaurants. Buy different gifts. Get different tattoos. The men who work for one do not socialize with the men from the other clans. Their wives ignore each other on the streets. There are only two okiya in Ku 6, and the Okaasans are careful to schedule each client so neither clan has to cross paths with another. It's strange to me now that Matsuda would fraternize with both clans.

The Taira tattoo shop's surveillance camera has an excellent view through the front window. Though most of the stations are hidden behind screens, many of the men loiter around the shop during the day. Men and women alike come and go and get tattoos at this shop. The Taira love animal motifs. The family kamon is an elaborate butterfly viewed from the side perched on a branch, and it seems to be incorporated into just about every design that comes out of this shop.

Sakai meets me for lunch and escorts me straight to the dōjō afterwards. A flash of movement catches my eye in Matsuda's regular spot, but that's about it. He probably saw us coming.

When we walk in the door, Jiro and Koichi are waiting for us. The sight of Jiro makes my heart stop, and I am incapable of saying anything, especially with Sakai and Koichi in the room. I'm trying hard not to remember what Sakai witnessed last night on the surveillance cameras. It's too embarrassing, but I think that'll be the last time he ever says anything.

Koichi grabs his bag by the wall and walking towards us. "I made all the necessary calls, Mark. They'll be waiting for us."

"Let's go." Sakai turns to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "Remember what I said about going out in Ku 6. We'll be back later."

The mats beneath my feet sink as Jiro walks up next to me, and the door shuts on Sakai and Koichi. He takes my face in his hands, and it's that time in between breaths I realize how intense we can be.

"Sanaa, I want to kiss you."

I'm dying to kiss him. I merely close my eyes and nod my head, and his lips and mine are together. He starts slowly, kissing along the small, upper divot that's the crown to all of my smiles, and then moving on to my lower lip before we open our mouths to each other and lean into it. His breath and mine are mingled together, and it's soft and warm, giving me the comfort I need after a disconcerting morning. When we break apart, I wrap my arms around him. He hugs me, holding the back of my head in his hands, and brings his forehead down on my shoulder.

"I'm so glad last night was not just a dream," he says into my neck. Moving his hands from my hair, he pulls down the collar of my shirt and traces the line of my shoulder to my undershirt and back. "I wasn't sure what you'd say when you saw me today."

"Well, it's hard to say anything right now. My heart may explode." If he were a different person, this sort of statement would scare him away, but not Jiro. He revels in the fact I'm forward and tell him what I want. He's the bravest person I've ever met.

He pulls back, pressing his forehead against mine.

"They will always be watching us," he whispers, moving his mouth as little as possible.

"I know." I nod. "I don't care. Mark saw everything last night already." I'm sick of the cameras. Let them watch. It's just the Itōs anyway.

"Really? You _are_ wild. I am in deep trouble... Good. I'm glad you don't care because neither do I."

Rising to my tip toes, I drape my arms around his neck and stroke the bridge of my nose along his jaw before kissing him on the neck. I hear him say, "Mmmm," and his arms hold me even closer. I have almost forgotten all the fear, all the secrets and lies, of the last few days. Maybe if we keep kissing, keep being close to each other, it will all go away.

"Sit here with me for a while." He moves to sit on the mats and pulls me down. I don't want to be far away from him, so I look him in the eyes, and sit on his lap wrapping my legs around him. His hands are on my hips and this time it's my turn to hold his face and direct him. I love that I can follow or lead with little hesitation. It's so different from my past two relationships where I was expected to be the small and quiet girl and couldn't, though I did try.

We sit like this for a long time, lips locked and hands moving over each other. I'm dying to go one step further and pull his shirt off and touch his bare skin, but we're only minutes away from stopping to sword fight, so I let the desire go. His hands move up from my hips to the waistband of my pants and inch their way into my undershirt at the back. It's such a light touch that I pull away from him because I need to breathe or I'll faint.

He takes my hand in his and rubs his thumb along the callus that's formed on my thumb from all of our hours practicing iaido together.

"In the beginning, when you first came here, I was so worried I wouldn't be able to train you — that you weren't capable — and neither was I of being a teacher. But you've become strong." He tips up my hands and shows them to me. "I see it here."

They aren't the most beautiful hands I've ever seen, and I've always thought them plain and ordinary. They are strong now from many hours of holding a sword properly: hands together, right over left, wrists turned in. I have mastered the light grip but my ring finger on my left hand is constantly sore.

It's that ring finger Jiro holds now. He smiles as he massages it from the tip down to the palm, and I sigh with relief.

"That finger always hurt me too when I was beginning. It'll get better with time."

"Are we going to practice?" I ask as I reach up and start to unbutton my shirt. This room is so warm, and now I'm burning up, though not from exercise.

I remove my shirt and toss it off the mats changing position to sit seiza in front of Jiro. He sits seiza too, facing me but next to me. Yin and yang. With our eyes closed, we meditate and breathe deep, and I'm calm again. When I open my eyes, Jiro is watching me.

"I've been thinking about getting tattooed," I say. It's been in the back of my mind all day after surveying the tattoo parlors this morning.

"Really? Why would you?"

I think about the other women I watched in the shop. They are so sure of themselves, confident. The tattoos give them an air of mystery I've never experienced before. Sure, maiko and geisha are mysterious, but they're like little dolls. I'm a warrior.

"I love yours. I don't have a family crest, but the images of Old Japan make me nostalgic."

"Then I'll take you to our family parlor whenever you're ready." His smile dips to the side, measuring my enthusiasm. "We should get to work. I doubt my father and Sakai will stay out for very long." He stands and helps me up, but instead of letting go, he pulls me close again. "Will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Yes, absolutely." I would spend every waking moment with him if I could. Jiro walks to the wall, takes off his shirt, and grabs our swords.

"I know I've been hard on you in practice lately," he says, and I scowl at him. "I'm sorry. Surely now the necessity of it is obvious. Matsuda's a trained killer, and for some reason, he doesn't like you."

"Mark keeps dodging my questions, though I think I'm wearing him down."

"I'm not surprised." He laughs at me but becomes serious again. "Still, I want to make sure you're prepared... for anything."

"It's okay. I know you're only doing your job."

"It's more than my job. I hope you know that."

"I know, Jiro. Teach me. I want you to." And I hope he realizes that I want him to teach me more than sword fighting. I tilt my head and raise my eyebrows a little. The way his breath comes out slowly, I have him in the palm of my hand.

Today, we're going to learn more offensive sword fighting. Jiro has been talking a lot about mindset, but all I've been doing is defense. Defense is good, offense is better. The past few days have taught me I'm going to need it. I keep worrying about striking Jiro and hurting him, though. It's why we haven't sparred since that first time. Thinking back, I smile and shake my head.

"What are you thinking about? Or do I even want to know right now?" He must think my mind is in the gutter all the time the way I flirt with him. He's mostly right.

"I was thinking about the first time we ever sparred. What an ass I was." Though it's totally embarrassing to think about now, it still makes me laugh.

"Are you kidding me? You're the first person who has ever caught me off-guard. I think, in the future, you should use your size and, well, kawaii nature to your advantage. I underestimated you and regretted it," he says with a smile. "I like the way you fight. It's fresh and different."

"Really? I thought I was horrible." I lean over to roll up my pants, and my hair comes out of its twist. All of the kissing earlier has made it come undone. "Hold on, please." I let out a sigh. "I have to get my hair cut."

"Don't," he says, and, when I stand up, he's watching me tie it back again. "It suits you." I've done this so many times in front of Sakai and now Jiro, I realize Sakai watches me because I look like my mother. Jiro watches me because he wants me. I feel very popular all of a sudden.

He hands me my sword and steps back.

"We'll do this a little differently this time. Instead of me attacking you using the techniques we've already learned, we'll move in slow motion. This way we'll practice attack and defense slowly and quicken the pace as you become more comfortable."

I break into a cold sweat.

"Sanaa, take a deep breath. I can already tell you're getting worked up."

I'm also completely transparent.

I need to keep the confidence high and talk myself out of worrying too much, so I take the sword and hold it high above my head, my grip so tight the veins on my arms and hands stand out.

"How about I take this sword and beat the hell out of something to get it out of me?"

He laughs, reaches out, and pokes me in the stomach.

"Come on. I've taught six year olds who were more aggressive than you." What a tease! Instead of being solemn and professional, he's going to mercilessly pester me. It's going to work. "I know how much you hate to lose..."

"You wouldn't beat me, would you?"

He laughs and lunges at me from the right.

After weeks and weeks of fighting with Jiro, he has worn me down, worn away my fear of hurting him, worn away my worry of having to defend myself. He's made me strong in a way I never thought I could be. Even all of those years of karate training have not brought me a tenth of the confidence sword fighting has.

Jiro slows down and circles me to the right, keeping his eyes on me. When he's ready, he nods his head left or right, indicating which way he will come at me. After an hour of this, though, the maniacal glint is in his eye again, so I attack first, faster and faster. I'm having so much fun I'm actually laughing as he blocks each of my movements, especially when I get close to getting a hit on him.

The fighting mania is building up between us, and it's starting to bring up the exhausted giggles in me.

"Stop." I laugh and wheeze, throwing myself down to the mats in exhaustion. "I can't take much more of this."

But Jiro is not done. Moving to the other side of the room, he bounces on his toes and actually runs at me from the front. I roll over in time for his feet to leave the ground, jumping in a high arc toward me, sword above his head. He is at once awe-inspiring and fearsome. The corners of his mouth curl up, no doubt due to the wide-eyed panic coming over me.

Scrambling backward, I lie flat on the ground and bring my sword up to block him. With a thump, his feet land on either side of my head but our swords never touch. He has come to a halt a millimeter away from me.

I can barely breathe witnessing the determination in his eyes, the way his body heaves with every breath. Wow, he's impressive.

"Who taught you how to fight like that?"

"You should see your face right now," he says, straightening up with a shake of his head. "You could learn to fight like this, too."

I try to imagine myself fighting like Jiro, and I can't. He was born to do this. I'm struggling to keep up. I'm so glad he's on my side. I've only skimmed the surface of what he's capable of. If he were my enemy, I should be terrified.

"I think we're done. It's almost five."

I close my eyes and sink into the mat. "I'm just gonna lie here until someone comes and scrapes me up."

He pokes me in the stomach with his foot, and I laugh again. This is much better than any of our previous training methods. I like being happy.

I push the sword away from me and come up to seiza. Moving into meditation is hard considering I've been laughing, but Jiro's steady breathing brings me back.

"Sanaa, you have learned the fastest of anyone I know."

"After seeing you fight like that, I realize I've learned so little."

"Don't be down on yourself. You haven't been fighting for very long. Besides, you had karate training before this so you had an advantage that I never had."

"You've never learned to fight hand-to-hand?" I ask, pulling myself up from the floor. I'm going to be sore again tomorrow.

"No, I've only been trained in the way of the sword. Iaido is the purest form of swordsmanship, but I learned its predecessor _kenjutsu_ and _kendo_ from a young age. Yoichi is quite good. He used to beat the crap out of me when I was younger. Not so much anymore."

He grabs two towels for us, and as we're drying off, Sakai and Koichi enter the room. Though we're not in a formal dōjō setting, it's hard to break with tradition. We both come to attention and bow to Sakai and Koichi who bow back. They kick off their shoes at the edge of the mat and set them aside.

"Sanaa-chan, we may have a problem we have to deal with."

My heart immediately seizes. What is this? Jiro is puzzled, his eyebrows drawing together, but he stays silent. Sakai comes right to me.

"Your aunt has been following you around all day."

My heart beats again but sinks to my stomach. Aunt Kimie. She, no doubt, suspected something when I came home last night. I had a feeling she hadn't been up reading for no reason. Oh no...

"She wasn't at home this morning when I got up. Damn, I should have known. She hates being up early."

"She was probably waiting for you to leave the apartment and then followed you to the dōjō."

"Did she follow us to Ku 1 and here?"

"Yes, I caught sight of her as we were entering just now. I'm sure she suspects something is going on with you." Sakai and Koichi contemplate each other but don't speak. They know Aunt Kimie. She is persistent, just like me.

"Come to think of it, she may have been suspicious awhile back. She said she came by work to have lunch with me, but I wasn't there. I told her I was working off site. I guess she didn't believe me."

"You have got to get better at lying. You have tells all over your face."

Shit. I thought I _was_ getting better at it.

"A terrible poker player," Koichi says. He clasps Jiro on the shoulder. "Have you been practicing?" The gleam in his eye tells us he doubts it.

"Yes. Yes, we've been practicing. Sanaa is ready for the more advanced set, I think. We'll start work on it in a few days."

"Excellent. Let me know, and I will join you again to assess her progress."

"So, your aunt. You will need to ditch her on your way home," Sakai says, bringing his hand to his chin.

"Jiro and I are going to have dinner together," I say, as I put my shirt back on and button it up.

"You can still do that. Leave at different times. Go in opposite directions. Sanaa, walk fast and take the train. Switch cars multiple times and backtrack. Make it last at least thirty minutes before you pick up your way to wherever you plan on going."

I nod and map out the transitway system in my head. It's about to be rush hour. I can lose Aunt Kimie quickly.

"Jiro, from now on, when you accompany Sanaa anywhere in Ku 6, you will carry your sword."

"Understood." Jiro's face tightens, and he reaches for his shirt.

Sakai turns to me. I push my nervous tension way to the back of my mind and try to concentrate. "Message me when you get where you're going. I'll tail Kimie until I'm sure she's lost you."

I grab my bag and pull Sakai towards the door.

"Mark, where were you now? With Koichi?"

"Sanaa-chan, I'm not prepared to discuss business with you right now."

"Business? I know it involves me somehow and you keeping me in the dark is pissing me off."

He stops, but doesn't say anything.

Nothing. I'm getting absolutely nowhere with him. Sakai! You are so frustrating!

"Mark." I put more urgency, as much as I can, into my voice. "These last twenty-four hours... you're really scaring me... with Matsuda, and Jiro being armed, and now Aunt Kimie is following me, too? I can't help but think about what happened to my parents and..."

Sakai sighs deeply, and his head dips low. It's such an instinctual Japanese gesture to bow when we're upset, embarrassed, apologetic, or humbled. It's also used to cover up our feelings when we don't want another to read the emotions scattered across our face.

"It wasn't an accident that killed my parents." This is it. I'm sure of it. This is why he refuses to talk to me.

He is not looking up.

"Mark. _Look at me!_ " I yell so forcefully both Jiro and Koichi at the back of the dōjō stop dead in their tracks.

Sakai still does not move. " _Mōshiwake_ _nai_ , Sanaa-chan. Mōshiwake nai."

My body springs forward of its own accord, and I push Sakai so hard he stumbles back and hits the wall. "How can you just stand there and apologize to me without even talking to me? Don't you have any respect for me at all?"

My hand comes back, a blind rage overcoming me, and I'm moments from smacking him across the face when Jiro grabs me from behind and lifts me from the mats. My feet get no purchase, and I kick and scream, bucking my body back against Jiro who is trying hard to hold on to me.

"Sanaa-chan, please," Jiro pleads as he quickly carries me to the other side of the room, as far from Sakai as we can possibly get. "Please stop." He doesn't have to beg me. I'm already sobbing, the fat tears bursting from my eyes and landing on the mats in front of us. I let my body go limp, and Jiro's restrictive hold loosens and becomes a hug as he lets me fall slowly to the floor.

"Oh, Mark, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Now I'm the one who can't look at him. Why did I have to hit him? Resting my head on my arms, I cry into my sleeves. Jiro kneels down next to me and places one hand on my back. "I'm sorry," I repeat. This time to everyone.

"Don't be sorry." Sakai's voice is very far away. "I deserve that. I deserve a lot more than that."

Pulling my head up from the mat, I swipe my hand across my face and then my sleeve too because I'm a fountain of tears and snot and sweat. Sakai has not moved from where I pushed him. Koichi has turned from me and faces the wall. I have done something so harmful, it's unspeakable.

"Don't hate me. I promised..." Sakai's voice catches and he stops, straightening up a little more. "I promised your mother I would take care of you. And that's exactly what I'm doing." Without saying another word, he turns and walks out.

At least ten seconds of complete silence pass before I sniff, my breath shuddering in my chest and throat. I can't even look at Jiro, but then his fingers are on my neck, pushing my hair off and to the side.

"Let's stick to the plan. Come." Jiro gives me his hand and pulls me up. He grabs a fresh towel from the rack, leads me back to the door, and places the towel in my hands. "Go to the bathroom and get cleaned up. When you're ready, leave and circle out to Ku 3, then 1, and then come back."

I nod silently and sniff. I must look terrible. Jiro smiles at me and places his hand on my shoulder.

I'm completely stupid for wrecking the somewhat normalcy of this day, and I want to bring it back so badly. I want to go back to the kissing before practice and start over. My stupid temper has gotten me in trouble again.

"Where should we meet up for dinner?" I ask, taking a deep breath.

"My favorite tempura place is a few blocks away, but I want you to meet me right back outside here, okay?"

"Okay." I smile at him remembering our night at the okiya and he smiles back sadly. "I can never get enough tempura."

"I know you love it, and I'm glad I can treat you." He leans in and kisses me on the forehead, and I close my eyes and concentrate on that spot before heading to the bathroom.

# Chapter Nineteen

It takes me ten minutes to recompose myself in the dōjō bathroom. For a dōjō so austere and simple, the bathroom must have been designed and built by the Itōs long after they took ownership of this building. Dark stone tiles, softly lit rice paper lanterns, and white porcelain greet me when I walk in. I strip down naked wrapping the towel around me and place all of my clothes in the auto-hamper. They'll be clean and dry in five minutes.

While I wait, I splash water on my face, wash it and my hands, then finger-comb my hair. It's a mess again. I separate it down the center and do two twists, one on either side of my head, glad I keep extra ties in my bag. I quickly wipe myself off and eye the shower in the corner. No time to use it today. I've actually never had the time to use it, though I've needed it on more than one occasion. I've seen Koichi come from this bathroom twice with his short hair spiky and wet. I'm sure he spends a lot of long hours here. I hope Mariko is not too alone at home without him.

The auto-hamper pings with a hiss of steam, and my clothes come out hot and dry. I put them on after shaking them a few times to cool them off. Before I exit the building, I knock on the dōjō door, and Jiro is sitting against the wall with his tablet.

"Be careful, Sanaa. I'll see you soon."

I don't want to leave him and walk around the city for half an hour while trying to ditch my aunt, but I have to.

I follow Jiro's instructions and am back on the streets of Ku 6 within twenty minutes. The trains were packed with people but moving quickly this evening. I didn't notice any signs of Aunt Kimie, so I head straight for the dōjō. When I get to the storefront, Jiro steps out, and I'm breathless at the sight of him. I've never seen him carrying his sword in person, and if I thought he was handsome and sexy before I saw him armed, I'm dead gone now.

He steps forward and pulls me towards the door alcove, directing me to the corner.

"I... what?"

Moving slowly to the threshold of the sidewalk, he pokes his head out and surveys the area. It's only about six o'clock, and plenty of people are still on the streets, but it's March, and the light is waning already at this time of the day. Most of the shops and their signs are lit up, and the convenience store three doors down blasts music into the street. A couple, arm-in-arm, walks by slowly, laughter trickling behind them as the woman lays her head on the man's shoulder.

"Is anyone there?" I whisper.

"No. Matsuda left right after you and went in the opposite direction. I think you lost both him and your aunt in one go."

He turns to face me, and I rise up to my tip-toes so I can get a better look over his shoulder. My right hand clutches his shirt front. I pull him closer and reach up with my left to lightly caress the grip. It's beautiful.

"This is _your_ sword? Your very own?"

He reaches down and loosens my hand from his shirt, lacing his fingers with mine. When I look at him, he's examining me closely.

"You're not frightened by this at all?"

"Frightened? No no no. Quite the opposite," I say, shaking my head. I release my left hand from the sword and run my fingers through his hair at the back of his head. It's damp, but he smells like soap again. He got to shower while I was running around.

"Really?" His eyebrows rise up, and I pull him towards me.

"I want my own. I have to have one." I also want him to take it out and use it in the worst possible way. Wherever these dirty thoughts are coming from, I hope they never stop.

Relief sweeps over his face, and his hand tightens with mine. "I felt the same way the day I saw my father carrying his. I wanted one right away, and I would do anything to get it. You and I are much more similar than I ever thought."

"I don't know how I'll ever get one." I fear this is going to be one of my new obsessions. Getting a sword will be harder than the other obsession building since yesterday, persuading Jiro to sleep with me. The way we're pressed against one another right now, I give us twenty-four hours.

"Maybe your family has one or Sakai has one for you."

Sakai. I rest my forehead on Jiro's chest.

"Sorry," he says, hugging me. "I had almost forgotten about what happened today."

"It's okay. Let's go eat before we pass out from hunger."

We leave the front of the Itō dōjō and cross the street. Weaving in and out of a few old men and women shopping for fruits and vegetables at the grocery, he leads me down a back alley to the next street over. We stick close to the buildings, sidling around neatly stacked crates and garbage cans, staying in shadows and walking alleyways. Jiro stops me across the street from our destination. Pressed into the doorway of a closed business, we watch the restaurant for a minute before crossing over to it. He is so cautious. I wonder how often he does this sort of thing.

When we enter, he waves to a young man who is clearing a table, heading straight for an open booth in the corner. I sit on the inside with him next to me, and his sword is now propped next to his leg under the table. No one in the restaurant batted an eye at it.

I love this place already, small and cozy, painted in warm tones with low ambient lighting. One bank of tables line the front window. Booths are along the back wall, set apart from each other with tall seat backs and latticework above our heads. The dinner crowd is happy but not too loud. Everyone with the exception of two people are Japanese.

He takes my bag and sets it next to his on the opposite side of the table.

"Oh, grab my tablet, please." He hands it to me, and I type out the message to Sakai that he asked for. Upon checking my inbox though, I find a message from him I read to Jiro: " _Kimie watched you exit the building and went immediately back to Ku 9 from there._ "

"Excellent. Let's hope that's the end of that."

But it won't be the last of Aunt Kimie. She will not rest until she has it all figured out.

My chest constricts at the thought of confronting her with all I've been up to, and my hands shake. I attempt to cover up the movement by clutching the tablet, but Jiro sees it. He removes the tablet from my hands and places it on the opposite side of the table.

"You're hungry. Let me order some food." He gestures to a young waitress across the room. "Asa-chan!"

She comes over quickly. "Jiro, it's been a long time. How are you?"

Jiro said he had been here before and something tells me it's been often. I try not to narrow my eyes at this pretty thing who is being extra flirtatious to Jiro with her smile and wink.

"You know me, Asa-chan, always good. _Yasai tempura ya gohan o futatsu kudasai. O-sake mo._ " Switching to Japanese, his demeanor hardens.

Asa's face falls slightly at the sight of me. Jiro not bothering to indulge her grand hospitality is perfect. The jealous dragon in my chest sits down defiantly. He's mine. Back off.

"Water, too," I say, smiling slightly at her. I need water. I'm parched from today's workout.

Asa leaves, and I start thinking about food and my grumbling stomach.

"Mmmm, vegetable tempura, rice, and sake. I am starving, Jiro-kun..."

"You don't need to be formal with me when it's just us, Sanaa." He smiles, placing his hand on my knee.

"Okay. Jiro." I had noticed he was dropping the -chan from my name when we were alone. Although I did love it, losing the formality is a step in the right direction. I bite down on my lip as his hand travels up my leg. "It feels like days since I last ate. Do you come here a lot? It seems like Asa knows who you are." I immediately regret asking because I just gave away my jealousy.

"Yes, I come here all the time." He smiles and turns towards me, still keeping his eyes on the door. I lean forward with my elbow on the table, chin propped up on my hand, and try to pretend like the catch in my voice was nothing. "Asa and I went to school together. This is her mother's place. Like Miko, she's planning to take over someday. I only ever see her here." Reading between the lines, that's my reassurance he's not dating her and never has.

But now I'm thinking about other embarrassing things.

"Jiro," I say, taking a hot wet towel left for us and rubbing down my hands one finger at a time, "I'm so sorry about today." I fold the towel over and over again until Jiro takes it from me.

He's not mad but serious instead. "If it were my choice, I would've let you beat the hell out of Sakai. He's wrong to keep so many secrets from you. They're all wrong to keep so many secrets from us."

"Why did you stop me then?"

Jiro sighs and grabs my left hand, holding it in both of his. "Because he's my uncle and the head of my house, and as much as he deserved it, we still need him." He smiles at me and chuckles. "If I had let you hit him, he may not have been able to walk straight for a week."

"I was worried you'd be mad at me."

"You were intense. I love that you're not some withering flower of a girl. You're strong, vibrant... forward." He takes my hand and rubs it along his jawline, a little stubble forming that's rough but sexy. He releases my hand at the back of his neck, and I pull him to me and kiss him until two glasses of water land on the table and startle us both. I don't even need to look to know it's Asa.

I clear my throat and drink some water. I shouldn't be kissing him in public, but I can't help myself.

"I want to hear more about your sword."

"My katana?"

"Yes. How did you even get one?"

"Most of the long-standing Japanese families have them. They've been handed down generation after generation. The katana I carry is over two thousand years old. It's a gorgeous sword. I'd take it out now, but I like to keep a low profile. The metal used to make it was super thin and layered on, one on top of the other. If you look closely, you can see the tiniest swirls."

I close my eyes and imagine it. The sword obviously means a lot to him, and, yes, it's turning me on. Wow, my libido is out of control lately. This is what happens when I have unfulfilling sex for three years in a row.

"The first time I held it I knew it was meant for me. My family was lucky. We had to save it from being melted down after the Environmental Decline. But most things in the family treasury are sacred and can't be touched. We have three family swords. My brother has refused to carry his sword in recent years, and my mother keeps it by her bed every night. My guess is she would give it up for you to practice with, if you wanted."

"Yes. Yes, absolutely. I think I'm good enough, right?"

"You are indeed, though if we practice with real swords, we will only do kata. I don't want any life threatening injuries."

"Me neither." The thought of marring our perfect sessions with blood is sickening.

A waiter comes by with our sake and deposits it and two cups. Jiro pours for us both, and we lift our cups and say, "Kanpai!" I drain half in one go.

"Sanaa, I'm curious. What would you do if you held a real katana in your hand? Would you strike and kill to save your life?"

I have never killed anything, not even something small, like a bug. Earth is so barren there are hardly any in Nishikyō anyway.

"I don't know. I've fought hand-to-hand and defended myself in class. Then there was the time I sparred with you. Which was a complete success." I roll my eyes at him, and he laughs.

"I don't think it's something you ever really know until it happens."

I want to think I'm the most confident I've been in years, but then I remember the blue sky crushing me and the raging water down the streets of my ward, and I shrink. That is real fear, an enemy I can't reason with, one I cannot fight but instead must accept.

"Hey. You were happy for a minute but it's gone."

"I'm thinking about... our trip to Ku 10." I turn the sake cup around and around.

"The panic attack? That's not something you can control out-right. That's a fear you will have to work at overcoming. Let's not think about it now." He takes my hand under the table again and smiles at me, dispelling my anxiety quickly.

This time I fill both our cups as the same waiter returns to the table with food. When I glance up and check the restaurant, it's still bustling with people, and all the staff are busy. Jiro thanks him and ignores the steaming plates for a moment. He traces the bones on my hand, thinking.

"Jiro, how is it someone like you was so unattached by the time I came around?" He's the most attractive guy I have ever seen, and it's a wonder to me he doesn't have anyone at all. I'm a little scared to be digging in Jiro's love life, but since I'm determined to become a part of it, I figure I should know.

"No time for dating. I'm too busy training, going to meetings, handling correspondence..." He places his hand solidly upon mine. "I won't lie to you, Sanaa. I've had my fair share of girls before now." My heart seizes. "But none like you. None."

The blush in my cheeks is so hot I break eye contact for a moment. I'm already in love with him. I wonder if he can tell.

"I should even tell you I... I proposed to my last girlfriend. I thought I wanted to marry her, but she was definitely the wrong choice for me."

"Oh." I suspected he's had plenty of previous girlfriends but a proposal? I suddenly feel very inadequate. "You must have really loved her." Sickness seizes me thinking about him with another woman, someone his whole family must have met. How will I ever measure up?

"I thought I did, but..." He picks up my hand and kisses it. "It's not even close to how I feel about you."

My vision darkens along the edges, I'm in such shock. To think he may love me more than someone he wanted to marry. And only a few days ago I was doubting everything.

"I... I want to be honest with you. How do I even explain this? I've, uh, had two boyfriends." I pull my hand away from him and cover up my eyes. "There was Joshua. He was the first person I ever had sex with. But he was a bit crazy?" I remove my hand, and Jiro has his eyes narrowed. "He was brilliant, incredibly smart, but mean."

"Mean?" Jiro is getting upset, so I quicken my story.

"Our relationship didn't last long because he... well, he found me unattractive, I think." I have no clue how to explain Joshua's actions. We would have these in-depth, philosophical and surreal conversations, be totally in sync with each other, then he would get me naked and lose all interest. It was degrading. To keep our relationship going, I would get him drunk, wear skirts, and have sex with my clothes on.

Remembering what I went through just to have a physical connection with him fills me with shame.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

I pause and consider how truthful I should be. "It's a long story. I mean, I knew he wasn't into me when we were together, but then we broke up, and he started calling me..." I gulp and cover my face again. "Straight-Up-And-Down Sanaa to his new girlfriend. She spread it all over work. I was so enraged and embarrassed, I had him transferred."

Jiro's not saying anything, and I'm afraid to look up. His fist is clenched in his lap.

"I used my connections to have him placed somewhere else. I couldn't even be in the same building with him anymore. My friend, Chad, felt bad for me, and we started dating. But it was more like sex once a month. He wasn't into me either."

A tear rolls from my eye, down my nose, and lands on the seat between us. "I like Chad as a friend, and we always got along. And look at me." I pull my hand from my eyes and swipe the tears from my cheeks. "I'm built like a boy. I figured his attention was all I could ever hope for."

The first time I had sex with him, I really enjoyed it. I described everything I loved, and he gave me an orgasm so hard, I nearly lost my mind. Afterward, he quietly slipped from the bed, dressed, and left me without a word. I told Miko what happened, and she said, "Sanaa, no guy wants to be told what to do in bed. You're supposed to let them figure it out." I was bossy, and I completely ruined it, so from then on, I was silent. Our sex became stiff and unenjoyable for me after that, and I was ashamed for being so forward with him. No passion, no love. He barely even kissed me when we were together. But he must have felt some sort of pity for me because he kept it up once a month.

"Gods, I'm so fucking embarrassed," I blurt out and laugh at his wide eyes. "Sorry, I try not to swear, even in my head."

"You can swear around me all you like. It's killing me to hear this from you." He leans into me and kisses my lips, wet with tears. When he pulls away, I take a napkin from the table and wipe up my face, eyeing our steaming dinner in front of us. My leg starts to bounce, and I pluck at the fabric of my pants over and over.

"I'm okay with myself now, really, but it doesn't erase the doubts."

"I've never given you any reason to doubt me, have I?" he asks, and I shake my head. No. "You think you're built like a boy, but I see a sweet, petite, gorgeous girl with a smile that captured me from across the room. But best of all, you're strong and confident. I'm completely baffled by this all. I don't ever see you as being insecure."

I'm only insecure about a few things, but I believe in myself and my abilities, and Jiro has never once seemed intimidated by me like Joshua or Chad have been. I think, despite how mortified I am, I chose the right guy this time around.

"Look at me, Sanaa."

I let out a breath, and though I'm so embarrassed the back of my neck is starting to sweat, I force my eyes up from the space between us.

"All that matters is you and me. _Just_ you and me. No one and nothing else, okay?" He nods at me, and I nod back, eager to leave this conversation behind us. "Let's eat."

I grab a bowl and spoon rice in for him and then another for myself. We divvy up the vegetable tempura between us and dig in. I concentrate on every grain of rice going into my mouth, trying not to think about the fact I just told my potential boyfriend all my humiliating secrets.

Change the conversation.

"I love the sweet potato. It's my favorite," I say, taking a bite.

"Mine too. You'll have to fight me for it."

Jiro said it was the best tempura in the ku, and it's definitely the best I have ever had. The sweet potato is cut to the perfect width, the batter fried to a crispy, golden brown. I take one and dip it in the soy sauce based mix between us catching a few bits of green onion along the way. Jiro finishes his first piece and reaches over to grab a fried lotus root.

"So..." Jiro thinks for a moment. His eyes wander off into a space beyond me. "I've been thinking about what happened last night... what we overheard with Minamoto and Matsuda." I sigh inwardly, happy he's moved the conversation on. "I've heard the word 'kiku' a lot in the past few years though I've never known what they're all talking about. Is it a person? A thing?" He quiets in thought again, staring at his tablet across the table. "I should do a search."

"Minamoto said something like, 'The kiku line was not destroyed.' I thought he referring to a family line."

"I think you're right." He drums his fingers. "And I think it has something to do with you, Sanaa. I heard the word kiku mentioned several times in conversation, and two days later, you were in my dōjō, and I had to teach you sword fighting. Admittedly, one of the scariest tasks of my life until I was sure you could do it."

"How much has Mark told you about me?"

He shakes his head and swallows some rice. "Not much. He said your parents were killed in an explosion before you were two. They were his best friends, and you were raised by your aunts in Ku 5 then Ku 9. I learned more about your family from Miko actually."

Miko. Always looking out for me.

"Miko's a good friend, the best. She's like a sister to me."

"Well, she may be my sister before long. I think Yoichi is going to propose to her."

Hearing this news makes me smile. I'm happy for them. If she accepts, which I assume she will, she'll be a part of a marvelous family.

What about my family?

I've finished my dinner and set the bowl aside. Picking up Jiro's hands, I look him straight in the eye. "I want no secrets between us. I'm sick of secrets."

"I want the same."

He's as prepared for the truth as I am, if I can ever get it.

"Mark has often told me I should have grown up in Ku 6. That it was wrong to keep me from there, from my people. It's the way he says 'my people' that bothers me the most. He says I grew up removed from my culture, and it's not something my mother would have wanted."

"How does he know what your mother would have wanted?"

"I can only imagine she told him, and I wish I had proof instead of just his word. They're all hiding a lot from me. I'm not sure what to believe." Even though I'm holding on to Jiro's hands mine begin to shake and grow cold, so he flips his hands over and holds mine tighter. "This morning, Mark said I'm in danger here in Ku 6, and with Matsuda following me, he must be right. But why? Why does Matsuda even care about me?"

Jiro shakes his head. "I understand little about what makes Matsuda tick. This is probably why Sakai has made such a big deal about the sword fighting lessons. He eventually wants you to be armed and able to protect yourself, and he has asked that I'm to protect you as well."

"I've been kept away from Ku 6 my whole life. But if it's not what my mother would have wanted, then why did her only sister go against her wishes?"

"They've kept you away for a purpose. But why?" He shakes his head. "I'm not sure, and it's worrying."

The lights in Ku 6 are low as we exit the restaurant, the streets thinning out with people heading home from work or dinner out with their families. Two blocks over, the high-pitched electronic sounds of a pachinko parlor and men drinking on the sidewalk are harsh and raucous. I startle, paranoia overcoming my fatigue.

Jiro leads me carefully back the way we came, straight past the dōjō to my usual station in Ku 6. Before we reach the bottom of the stairs, he pulls a light overcoat from his bag and puts it on so the sword is hidden beneath it.

It's past rush hour, and the trains are running less frequently than usual. We walk down the platform away from the small crowd waiting by the stairs so we have some privacy. He turns to me, and I slip my arms into and under his coat gripping the sword for a moment before holding him tight. I love it here.

"You're going to confront Sakai once and for all, aren't you? I saw you today, and you were determined. I want you to be careful, but I know you'll do what you want."

"Am I really that stubborn?" I ask as I tilt my head up to him. His hair falls down and tickles my face. "I want to kiss you again."

"Kissing is only the tip of what I want," he says quietly.

I rise up and brush my nose against his before sealing our lips together. I can feel the eyes of the other people in the station watching us, and I don't care. In fact, I kiss him even deeper, opening my mouth and letting him in. His body sags a little and he ends the kiss slowly.

"Sanaa, let's not get on this train. Come home with me tonight instead."

Jiro rests his forehead against mine and our eyes are so close, my breath heaving in my chest. I want to go home with him, and it's taking all of my willpower not to drag him back out of this station right now. I told him everything, and he still wants to be with me. That, in itself, is enough to bolster my confidence.

Over the station speakers comes the clear crisp female transitway voice I hear every day. It's so loud it drowns out anything we may say to each other.

" _Densha to hōmu to no aida ga hiroku aite orimasu no de, ashimoto ni go-chūi kudasai._ Please watch your step and be careful of the wide gap especially as trains enter and leave the station. Thank you."

The announcement has given me time to imagine us in bed together, and it's enough to make my heart beat so hard I can hear it in my ears, but we can't do this tonight. Just not tonight.

"On the third date? Don't you think that's a little scandalous?"

He groans and presses his forehead even harder on mine. "You're killing me."

I laugh in my head but keep it to myself because it seems cruel right now.

"Oh Jiro, there's nothing I want more. I'm worried about what will happen if I don't come home. Will it send Aunt Kimie over the edge? I don't think I should chance it. Do you?"

The chimes of an arriving train sound even before the vibrations below my feet. With a rush of cold oncoming air, the train glides smoothly into the station, and I bury my head in Jiro's chest until it subsides.

"You're right, of course. Let's go. I'll take you home tonight. I can't promise I won't try to steal you away tomorrow, though."

"Fine by me."

We ride to Ku 9 wrapped up around each other, silent, tired, and happy. I lead him back to my building again, but, this time, all the way in and up the stairs.

Outside my apartment, we don't say a word, but there is one more kiss to get me through the night. He reluctantly walks away, backing down the hall, not taking his eyes from me as I palm the lock. When I open the door and turn back, I only catch a glimpse of him for a second before he disappears into the shadows at the top of the stairs.

# Chapter Twenty

The next morning, I wake up, get dressed, grab my bag, and go to the kitchen to have breakfast. Once again, Aunt Lomo is alone at the table. Huh.

"Where's Aunt Kimie? Still in bed?" I load up a bowl of rice and grab some cold miso soup from the fridge. Mmmm, nothing like a good breakfast to start the day.

"No, sweetie. Strangest thing. Kimie was up again early and left five minutes ago while you were in the bathroom."

I stop stock-still, chopsticks paused in mid-air.

"She was mumbling about getting something done. You know how incoherent she can be in the mornings."

Yes, and for Aunt Kimie to want to wake up and leave several mornings in a row before 8:00, she must have something pressing to do, like stopping me from continuing to work with Sakai. Stopping me completely from going to Ku 6 ever again. Stopping me from seeing Jiro.

"Uh, I've gotta go." I drop my bowl on the counter with a clang, the chopsticks bouncing off into the sink.

"Oi! Sanaa, be careful," Aunt Lomo's cries are muffled as I beat a hasty retreat from the apartment, sprint down the stairs, and burst onto the streets of Ku 9. If I'm quick enough... if I run flat out, I might catch Aunt Kimie before she makes it to the dōjō. What is she going to say to Sakai? Would she expressly forbid me from ever seeing him again? I can't let her do that. She owes me as much of an explanation about my life as Sakai does.

The dōjō is on the other side of our neighborhood. Why does it have to be so far away? Aunt Kimie probably took a bicycle taxi. She's way ahead of me by now.

Too many people are on the street this morning. I sprint three blocks and turn onto the main boulevard and some crazy person is trying to hold up a produce delivery. I nearly punch him when he finally gets out of the way. He's lucky there are too many witnesses. I have eight more blocks to go on this street before I turn the corner, and I run them as fast as I can. I'm dodging in and out of people and almost knock over a little girl who steps in front of me. Sorry!

When I turn the corner, I finally get so impatient I shove past everyone and run up the last two blocks. The dōjō entrance is right in front of me, so I sprint full-out to the door and up the stairs. The sound of a heated argument inside brings me up short outside the dōjō door. Ouch! Oh my gods, my body hurts. Damn Jiro and his furious sword fighting workouts.

I will my breath to calm and my heartbeat to slow down — which is incredibly hard to do — until I'm able to listen in. If I can't stop Aunt Kimie right away, I'm going to eavesdrop until I can figure out what's happening.

"What is going on with Sanaa?" Aunt Kimie pleads. "She hasn't been going to work. I've tried to surprise and meet her a dozen times in the past few months. Now I follow her around, and I see her come here in the morning... to meet you. You! Of all people, Mark Sakai. I told you to stay away. We had an agreement."

"Kimie, please. The colonization is beginning early, and I had to act fast..."

"I'm so scared for her. They'll find her. We tried to hide. We moved wards _three times_!"

"There is no place you could go where they would not find you. Junko knew that. She always knew Sanaa would be pulled into this someday. She was prepared to raise her straight into it."

"Don't you dare talk about my sister like you _knew_ her. She loved Max. She chose to be with him, not you."

My heart quickens again.

"What happened between me and Junko and Max is none of your business!"

I've never heard Sakai yell like this. He's usually so expressionless, ruling by quiet fear and judicious use of eyebrows, not by screaming.

Silence permeates the room, and I can hear my own heartbeat and ragged breathing. Do I go in now?

"Kimie, she preserved the line. She followed the law. She kept the line intact for Sanaa. She told me to make sure Sanaa understood her heritage and her rights. She trusted both you _and_ me, but I should never have let her grow up anywhere but Ku 6. That was a mistake."

What the hell is Sakai talking about? Law? What is this?

Aunt Kimie must be stunned into silence because Sakai continues at a lower volume. "She never married him. Just like your mother never married and her mother and her mother. Did you really think Junko did that because she didn't want Sanaa to continue the line after she was gone? She loved Max, much to my dismay, but she loved her people more than any one man."

"People. Those people would hunt Sanaa down and kill her to be rid of the line once and for all."

"We won't let that happen. Sakai clan has always protected the Kiku, and we will continue to do it until the end of time."

Again, the talk of kiku. My Japanese is good, as good as any born in Nishikyō, but maybe this is a term or thing I'm just unfamiliar with. I'm tempted to get out my tablet and conduct a search, but Aunt Kimie starts back up again.

"She's just a child — a smart and capable child — but still. How?" Though Aunt Kimie might be crying, I'm offended. A child? I'm twenty years old. There are other girls my age getting married and having babies. "No, no. I must move her farther away. We'll hide out in Ku 10 if we have to..."

Oh no, this cannot go any further. Without thinking, I burst through the doors, and both Sakai and Aunt Kimie whirl around to see me seething with anger.

"Sanaa, you're late... by about five minutes." Sakai's foot taps as he crosses his arms. I was expected.

"We're not going anywhere, Aunt Kimie, and I am _not_ a child anymore."

"Sanaa..."

"No! I've been living in the shadows of secrets and lies now for too long. I thought my life was normal. But it turns out it is very far from that, and all because both of you have been hiding information from me. I demand... no. I _deserve_ to know what's going on."

They both love me, but they each have conflicting ideas of how I should live my life. Jiro's words echo in my head. When did it stop being my life to live?

"This has been the most confusing year ever, and you both are not making it any easier. I essentially gave up the job I wanted to do since I was a little girl because I had no choice. I'm convinced it was the right thing to do even though Mark still refuses to tell me everything." I turn my hardest stare on Sakai.

"He's told you nothing? Nothing of our family?" Shock tinges the edges of Aunt Kimie's voice.

"No."

"Nothing about your parents' deaths?"

"No."

"What have you been doing all of this time?"

"Watching the clans in Ku 6. Learning all the key players. Training."

Aunt Kimie narrows her eyes at me. Oops, she's not happy about the training.

"Iaido," I squeak out.

"Who?" She turns on Sakai. "Who has been teaching her sword fighting? Mark, it's worse than I thought. You? Your brother?"

"My youngest nephew, and he's quite capable."

"Jiro," she says, nodding, and I'm shocked into silence. She knows them all. "This explains a lot." Aunt Kimie sighs. She seems smaller all of a sudden. Beaten. "Mark, this is way out of my hands now. How could you do this without asking me?"

"Would you have said yes?"

Aunt Kimie shakes her head and picks up her bag. "No, but having a choice is better than no choice at all. Tell her. Tell her everything. Stop lying to her. I was wrong. She's a woman now. She deserves the truth." She turns and leaves the room without another word, not even looking at me.

As soon as Aunt Kimie is gone, I burst into tears. I can barely look at Sakai, and I'm afraid I'm going to lash out at him again if I do. But as quickly as the murderous feelings arise, they are replaced just as hastily by regrets. My actions have brought this on, and I've disappointed Sakai in a significant way. Before yesterday, he wasn't prepared to tell me anything for quite some time. Now I've forced him to.

He takes a big breath and sighs before enveloping me in a hug. We've had physical closeness on a few occasions but something about this makes me cry even harder. I love him, as much as I love Aunt Kimie or Lomo. I feel like an ass when I remember the way I goaded him in the beginning.

"I'm so sorry, Mark. I tried to keep the secret, and it must have been my own actions that gave me away."

"No, no. This was bound to happen."

His chest shakes, and when I pull back to look at him, he's laughing, but his face is still clouded by sadness.

"Kimie," he sighs. "She does not let go of an idea once she has it in her head. Tenacious to the last." He gives my shoulders a small squeeze. "When we first met, I was worried being only half-Japanese would make you less resilient somehow, but I was wrong. You have your father's fire, too. He was a good man. Though I wanted your mother for myself, I was relieved she'd chosen someone smart and strong."

He turns to grab his bag.

"Sanaa, I have hidden you for most of your life. I have given you every ounce of protection I could, but someday, someone was going to figure out all my deceptions. I had no idea you would look so much like your mother, and it would give us away. I have many important things to show you, and there are things only Kimie can tell you. But you have studied the clans for a reason. You know the history of Old Japan?"

"Yes, mainly Heian period to the Environmental Decline." I twist my hands together in fear, wanting to go back in time and not know anything.

"We can never beat the clans. They will always rise and fall. They will always fight each other for the opportunity to rule."

The history of Old Japan was a long and turbulent one. Though my strengths have been in numbers and math, I'm also good with dates and names. History is my second love after the sciences, and I've read numerous books on the old civilizations including a few on Japan.

Sakai puts his hand on my back and leads me to the door. "For centuries, the clans in Japan enacted one war after another, taking hostages, doing battle on the field, killing thousands. There were the samurai, the nobles, the peasants, the outcasts, and the caste system. But that all came to an end after the Tokugawa Shōgunate, remember?"

"Yes, they ceased fighting and united under the Emperor, and he ruled until World War Two."

"That's right. Well, it's time for unification to come again."

# Chapter Twenty-One

"Sanaa, I'm about to give you all the truth, and I hope it somehow makes up for the past few months of keeping everything from you." Sitting down in the theater in Ku 1, Sakai recites this as if he memorized his speech months, even years, ago. "It's safe to say only me, Koichi and Mariko, Kimie, and Coen-sama know this secret, though I suspect Minamoto is sure he has the right information, and he got it from Matsuda. It's a long-standing secret that's been passed down through generations of our families."

"Mark, just tell me already, or I'm going to faint." I'm slightly light-headed. Sakai can be long-winded, and this is seriously not the time.

He turns to the terminal, and when he has what he's looking for, he throws the information on the big screen for me. Immediately, I recognize my own family tree. Finally.

In a little box at the bottom is my name, all alone. The only offspring of Charlotte Griffin. Wait, who is this?

"What is this? I really don't understand. What is this?" I shout, hysteria making my voice rise and my vision blur.

According to this family tree, I'm the only offspring of an aunt I didn't know I had. Next to my father on the family tree are two sisters: Sharon and Charlotte Griffin. Neither married. Under Charlotte Griffin is my name, Sanaa Griffin.

On the other side is Max Griffin connected to Junko Itami with only one offspring, Hanako Itami.

"Hanako."

Sakai reaches over and grabs my hand, but I am so shocked, my grip is completely limp.

"That's your real name, Sanaa. Hanako."

All three boxes that contain Hanako, Junko, and Max are grayed-out indicating they are deceased.

"Little flower," I whisper. Hanako means little flower, and it's what Aunt Kimie called me until I was about ten years old. " _Would you hurry up, little flower? Little flower, you've grown so much._ " I told her to stop calling me that one day, and she reluctantly agreed with tears in her eyes. I never understood. To me, it was a silly nickname.

"Sanaa, breathe! You're turning white."

I suck in an unsteady breath, and the desk in front of me tilts.

"Mark! Mark Mark Mark."

Oh no, I'm going to puke right here.

I push myself away from the desk and lean forward getting my head between my knees. Sakai's hands rub my back up and down in steady strokes. I concentrate hard on the pressure and try to ground myself in his presence.

"If I'm Hanako," I ask from between my legs, "who is Sanaa Griffin? And Charlotte Griffin? Why is there an aunt I never knew I had?"

"We kept all of this from you to protect you. Never forget you are Junko and Max's child. Are you all right?"

"I think I can bring my head up now." I rise up slowly, the nausea abated, and stare at the tree again.

"Three children? My father's mother had three children?" You need a permit in Nishikyō to have more than one child. Two is a luxury. Three is insanity. "Twins. They were twins." Charlotte and Sharon. With names like those, of course they were twins.

"Your Aunt Sharon had a twin sister named Charlotte. A beautiful, red-headed firecracker of a woman..." Sakai's voice trails off, and my eyes widen with shock.

" _You loved her too, didn't you?_ " The laugh that escapes my mouth is incredulous. "Mark Sakai, are you serious?"

Sakai becomes absolutely stoney with me again, and I know I've hurt his feelings. Well, good.

"Don't you become high and mighty with me. I lost two women I loved in one day. Not to mention my own child." His voice rises. I'm afraid he's going to yell at me now, and tears well up in my eyes before I can stop them. "I loved your mother, but she rejected me. I loved Charlotte, and we had a baby together, but I wouldn't marry her. Now, I regret it. I regret it all."

"The real Sanaa Griffin was your daughter?"

"She was."

I often thought about what a great father Sakai would be, and he was a father for a brief time.

"I'm so, so sorry."

Regrets. So many regrets.

I reach over and hold his hand steady, when in fact, I want to climb into his lap like a little kid and have him hold me, but we're both adults.

"Why am I switched with her? There must be some reason why you did this?"

He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "You always know the right questions to ask. You and the real Sanaa were born less than a month apart. Your real birthday is December twenty-third, not January first. Your mother and Charlotte were pregnant at the same time, and had you both lived, probably would have been the best of friends besides being cousins. All of us were very close, even your Aunt Sharon at the time, though I know she is quite distant now. I'm sorry."

I nod and try not to think about it. Her betrayal is still fresh to me.

"It was a complete fluke that the night your parents died, you stayed home with Kimie and Lomo. You were running a fever, and they didn't want to bring you. It was a family birthday party, but Sharon could not attend either because of work. So your mother and father, Charlotte and Sanaa, and several other family members were in the building when it exploded and killed them all."

"It wasn't an accident."

"No," he says sadly, his shoulders falling. "Whoever engineered the explosion, and I believe it was Matsuda, wanted to kill off your entire family. I'm not sure if he was acting alone or at the behest of someone else. The day after, I faked the records and made it look like you died and switched your identity with the cousin who did die. It was easy enough because no one ever questioned it. Only a few of us actually knew Sanaa was my child so they never suspected anything."

"But..." I'm so confused by all of this. "If you were trying to pass me off as Charlotte's, who would believe Aunt Kimie and Lomo would adopt their sister-in-law's child when Aunt Sharon should have done it?"

Sakai stares hard at me. "Your Aunt Sharon committed herself to Ku 2 and claimed she was unfit to take care of you. Your aunts volunteered. No one said a word."

"Yet Aunt Kimie and Lomo raised me as Junko and Max's child."

Sakai nods. "Because you _are_ their child, Sanaa, and that was the bargain I entered into. Kimie and Lomo would raise you as Sanaa Griffin in name only because Kimie could never pretend you weren't Junko's. She just couldn't bring herself to call you Charlotte's. So she offered to raise you only if she could tell you the truth about your parents. The only way to do that was to raise you outside of Ku 6. They couldn't have you going around and telling people you were Junko Itami and Max Griffin's daughter. The truth would have ruined everything."

He's right. I've told my friends, never believing it was different. To me now, only the name is different.

"I offered to stay away. No one outside of immediate family knew the real Sanaa, the one who died in the explosion, was my child, so I _could_ stay away. I didn't want to draw suspicion on you by being around you all the time, and it's a good thing I did. You grew up to be just like your mother in almost every way. No one now will look at you and think you're Charlotte's child."

"This is why Matsuda is so certain about who my parents are."

"Indeed."

Process this, Sanaa. It's a lie. Most of my life has been a lie. How did this happen to me?

"Mark, this doesn't explain why. Why would anyone want to kill my parents? Why did you do all of this shuffling around, hiding and protecting me?"

Sakai takes a deep breath and sighs.

"There's another big secret here I haven't told you yet. Let's look at the tree."

What now?

He zooms in on my parents' portion of the tree. There I am, Hanako Itami, the only offspring of Junko Itami and Max Griffin. Only the line drawn between my two parents, linking them together forever, is dotted indicating they never married. I follow the chain back some fifteen generations with all the same linkages along the way. Whenever the only offspring was female that woman had never married. When the offspring were two females, the first born female had also never married. Only male offspring had ever married. This is the most confusing family tree I have ever seen.

"My mother and father were never married," I say, shock quieting my voice. Many people in Nishikyō never marry and have kids anyway. It is their right to do so or not. Some don't like the idea of marriage at all, but _my parents?_ I always believed they were married, but come to think of it, no one ever said anything either way. I have only ever assumed.

"Your parents loved one another. Marriage just wasn't available to them."

"Why?" I feel like a four year old. Why, why, why? "Why is it none of the women in my family have ever married? Well, none of the first-born women."

"If you follow your family tree back..." He picks up his tablet and scrolls the screen so I can trace back the branches. "You'll find the answer."

I watch him scroll further and further until, "There! There, I see it. Now I'm really going to be sick."

On the screen is a name I recognize from my history books, Emperor Naruhito, the Emperor of Japan. The emperor who only had one daughter, Aiko. Other names on the tree I'm familiar with, but that time in history was turbulent and almost all of the royal lines were decimated by war and disease before the Environmental Decline.

Sakai rubs my back because I've put my head between my knees again. "There still exists a law that in order for the royal family line to be preserved, female offspring may not marry unless it's to other royalty. If she marries a commoner, she loses all claim to the throne. History has been cruel to the Kiku line —"

"Kiku? What is that? This is not the first time I'm hearing it." I can't raise my head. I am paralyzed.

"Kiku is a flower, the chrysanthemum, which is the royal seal of Japan."

Now I know why kiku had no prior meaning. Who in Nishikyō sees many fresh flowers or knows their names? Only a few.

"The Kiku line all but completely died out right before the Environmental Decline, and most of the noble clans associated with the throne were barren as well. But, as you can see here..." He scrolls down a little on the tree. "Eventually a male line is established that lasts five generations. The line trended female again afterward, and they stopped marrying, just worked on producing heirs."

"This makes no sense to me. What does marriage have to do with anything if they were having babies with anyone they wanted?"

"Unfortunately, it's not meant to make sense, and let's face it, imperial lineage was the last thing on anyone's mind when the entire human race was dying out. But the law's the law. All of these women in your line chose not to marry so they could keep the tradition alive. So no one could ever deny they were the true heir to the Chrysanthemum throne."

Silence simmers between us for a solid minute as I replay Sakai's entire explanation in my head, and my eyes search the family tree hoping a mistake appears to get me out of this mess.

"Huh."

Sakai raises his eyebrows at me. "Is that all you can say? Huh?"

"What the hell do you want me to say? You just told me a) that my real name is not Sanaa, it's Hanako (and don't ever call me that, by the way), b) that my parents were murdered, c) that I can never legally marry, and d) that I'm royalty. I'm genuinely shocked."

I stare blankly at the screen, at the two little boxes that are supposed to be me. Sanaa Griffin and Hanako Itami. Who the hell am I?

"I don't feel the least bit royal. In fact, I feel pretty damn common."

He smiles though his eyes are heartbroken for me. "Regardless, you are what you are, and that is, quite frankly, a problem. We're about to leave Nishikyō, leave Earth, and settle on Yūsei. If the powers-that-be have their way, a New Japan will flourish there, and you will be called upon by Sakai clan to lead. If your mother had been alive instead of you, she would have done it. She prepared her whole life for her role as empress, but that's not the case now. Our main problem is the other clans. If you're eliminated, they will be able to fight until someone can rule. It'll be the shōgunate all over again."

My mother was prepared to give her life away to this madness, but I feel nothing. Nothing. I could care less about any of this. When we get to Yūsei, I'll pack up and go away. Let them have it.

"My clan has always served the Kiku line. We will continue to serve and protect you and your line until the end of time. I've done everything in my power to keep you safe. I will do it until the day I die, and Jiro will take the duties after me."

I get up from my chair, break contact with him, and start pacing the room. I cannot sit and listen to this.

"Does Jiro even know? He doesn't, does he? If he knew any of this, he would have told me." I've lost faith in everything except Jiro right now.

"No," Sakai says, his mouth twisting. "The secret has been kept from Jiro as well."

What I really want this moment is to have a sword in my hand, to be standing next to Jiro and moving until my heart is racing and my body sweating.

"Mark, I'm numb. Never in a million years did I expect to hear this today."

He gets up and stops me with a hug — a silent, strong hug — and I immediately feel guilty. If he knew of the treasonous thoughts going through my head, he'd probably kill me himself and save us all the problems.

"No, I don't suspect you did. I've been meaning to tell you this for months, and each time I had the chance, I avoided the truth because I knew what it would do to you. I'm sorry."

Stay or run?

"So now what? Aunt Kimie, my mother, everyone in my family has known this secret?"

He grabs my hand and holds it. "Go to Kimie. She can tell you more, I promise. Sanaa, you do realize you will never be able to marry? There are no more royal lines for you to marry into. This is the last branch on the tree."

My head nods of its own accord. Sakai is making a big deal out of the smallest possible thing. Marriage? Who cares about that? My real name is not even Sanaa. My heart is so low, it's practically in my stomach.

"But you can have a consort. Many, if you choose. I know you're thinking of Jiro..."

I sit down and put my head back between my knees because I can no longer hold it up. What is Jiro going to say when he finds out all of this? Will something like this kill our relationship forever before it's even started? He's supposed to take over for Sakai one day, and this will come between us. Forget about any of my stupid insecurities. Being an empress is far more complicated than my own issues.

"All that matters is the line now," Sakai says.

Taking a deep breath, I lift my eyes to the screen and my family tree with my little grayed-out box, my place in history. I should feel grand and unstoppable as the next ruler of New Japan, but instead I am small and insignificant.

Where is my confidence now?

# Chapter Twenty-Two

I ride the train back to Ku 9 in a daze. I guess I should be on alert, but I can't snap out of it. My real name is not even Sanaa. Not Sanaa. But I _am_ Sanaa as much as I am Hanako. I remember the first time I sat in the theater with Sakai. He asked me if I knew what my name meant, and I'm crying again. Mark, I'm so sorry.

I take a deep breath and wipe my tears while ignoring the old woman staring at me from across the train.

An aunt I never knew, parents' deaths not an accident, imperial lines, marriage... none of it makes any sense. It doesn't feel real. In fact, the complete injustice of my own bloodline is making me increasingly angry by the minute. Losing my parents at a young age is just the beginning of what I'm in for. I hate when decisions are out of my hands. No one tells me what I can or can't do.

Instead of stopping off at a restaurant to pick up food, I go directly home to my quiet and empty apartment. Aunt Lomo is at work in the transportation system, and hopefully, Aunt Kimie has left for the entire day. Good. I don't want to see either of them right now. I get out my tablet and type out a message to Jiro asking him to come over. Hopefully he's not busy.

Numbness, anger, numbness, anger. I'm so angry I want to smash something! Then my mind goes numb. I sit on the couch, stare out into space, and cycle through these two emotions over and over until my stomach growls. I have to eat, so I channel all my energy into making some food. In the fridge are tofu and bean sprouts. Aunt Lomo has been to the market recently. I pan fry them up with soy sauce, onions, and oil. I'm a little too forceful with the tofu, though, and it falls apart. Serves it right.

My tablet pings as I'm putting the food on a plate. Jiro is close by on business and can be here in fifteen minutes. Perfect. I will eat, he'll show up, and I'll tell him everything. No use waiting. He'll either be shocked and appalled or just shocked. I'm hoping for the latter.

When he arrives, I let him into the apartment, and the only thing I can do is look at him in silence. It didn't take long, but I'm completely in love with him. I don't want to lose him. It's too soon. He walks in and drops his bag on the couch, and when he removes his overcoat, his katana is strapped to his back. He's been working again, out and about in the city, carrying his sword. It makes my blood race, and my anger over everything immediately turns to lust. I knew there were other emotions in me.

"Sanaa, what's the matter? You're so pale."

I move to him quickly before he can say anything else, before I can say another word and spoil it all. I wrap my arms about his neck, and he kisses me in the same hungry way I'm kissing him. I run my hands down his back, grasp the sword, and pull it up off his body, breaking our kiss.

Distract. Don't think of it.

"You were doing business close by?" I ask him, placing the katana on the couch with his bag. He nods his head. "But you're free now?"

"Yes, love."

My heart melts. Love. I want him now before he knows anything more about me. In an hour or two, everything will be changed between us.

"You're free to be with me?" I unbutton my shirt and set it aside, willing my hands not to shake. I told him I'm built like a boy, but in past training sessions, I had noticed Jiro eyeing me, and it always made me blush. I don't think he minds.

"I..." He's trying not to smile. Our conversation from last night plays back in my head.

I kiss him again and unbutton his shirt. "I know you have no objections." I toss his shirt on top of mine and take his hand leading him to my tiny bedroom. "You want to be with me as much as I want to be with you."

"So soon, though? I thought this was a bit scandalous?" he asks, a smile finally gracing his serious face.

"Soon? There is nothing about this I haven't wanted from the first moment I saw you."

"You have the..." His hand reaches up and traces a small portion of my upper, inner left arm.

"Of course. Since I was twelve." The implant in my arm makes it virtually impossible to get pregnant or have my period until it's removed or turned off. Another way to cut back on resource usage in Nishikyō. I check it once a month, and it's always working at one hundred percent.

"Wait a second." He stops me next to my bed and brings his hands to my face. Stop? I don't want to stop. "What's going on in your head?"

"Later."

"I just want to make sure..."

"Jiro, teach me. I want to learn," I say with a smile. His eyes soften, and I've got him. I'm not even nervous. I'm cycling through numbness, anger, and lust... and love, but not nervousness.

"Something tells me I'm not going to have to teach you anything."

I grab the waist of his pants and run my hand down over him before pulling off his undershirt. He kisses me and unwinds the pin in my hair, letting it fall down around my shoulders. His hands reach in and weave through it, and holding my head back, he kisses me down my neck, starting under my ear, where he kissed me the first time.

I fumble and loosen my undershirt from the waist of my pants. His hands travel down my back and up over my stomach, coming to rest on my breasts as he gets lost in the motion of undressing me. I'm weak, breathless, and shaking with fatigue. Much better than an hour ago.

Then I pull my undershirt off and knock Jiro squarely in the face.

"Ouch!" He clasps his face but is laughing, and I lay my head on his chest.

"Sorry," I mumble against him, but when I look up he's already forgotten about it. He places his hands on my hips and starts up again with a light kiss I push progressively deeper.

I unbutton his pants, reaching in to touch him with my right hand, and bring my left hand around to his back. His breath draws in quickly, and he hardens as I press against him. I don't think he was expecting that. I'm surprising us both. I linger there until he begins to moan and then push his pants to the floor.

Jiro takes his time unbuttoning my pants, and when he pulls my underwear down my legs, he stops to lay his lips on my navel and down along my hips. He stands to kiss me, his hand between my legs. I step out of my pants, and he lifts my right leg up placing it on the bed. I have to put my arms around his neck while kissing him because he's touching me and in me, and I swear I'm seeing stars. My head is light, almost nonexistent.

"Don't stop," is about all I get out before my breathing ceases. He's careful and attentive and, without expecting it, a rush of numbness shoots up my spine, an orgasm seizing my body in waves. I let out a groan so low and primal my knees give way, and he holds on to me with his other hand so I don't fall over.

That's it. That's exactly what I wanted.

"Mmmm, there, love. I've been dying to do that to you."

Jiro doesn't stop, and I don't want him to. I pull him down on my bed on top of me, and wrapping my legs around him press him close. I don't want to be any further away from him, this connection with him. Like Jiro wanted, it's just us.

Rocking myself back, I push against him and down, reaching around to grab his ass and run my feet down the length of his legs, past the backs of his knees, and over his calves. When he's inside me, I catch my breath with a gasp, and he stops for the shortest moment before I moan underneath him. That made him smile.

"You're mine, Sanaa." Jiro grips the sides of my face, kissing me hard before thrusting into me again, and the strength of it sends tingles straight up my abdomen to my chest. "Mine. Say it."

My soul is fractured in two. Half of me wants to hand myself over to Jiro, to the safety he can provide. The other half...

" _You_ are mine," I say back. This half desperately wants control.

My claim on him is a test. We're way into each other, and he can go one of two ways. He can pull back and be offended, or he can be totally turned on.

Jiro pushes my arms above my head and holds them there. "I am."

I raise my face to kiss him, our bodies moving together, and, just before he finishes, he holds his face close to mine.

Breathe, Sanaa. My body shakes uncontrollably. Jiro pulls out of me and reaches down to slide my covers up over us both, takes my face in his hands, and whispers, "Shhh," into my ear before kissing me and calming my shivers.

The warmth and weight of his body are natural on top of mine. We fit together so perfectly. I slip my arms under his, placing my hands on his tattoos. Those tattoos I love so much, right after the streak in his hair that goes down to the roots. I rub my finger along his scalp there, and he closes his eyes and smiles.

"Command me, Sanaa." I know he means it, even as he laughs and kisses from my jaw all the way up to my forehead. He strokes my cheek with his calloused thumb, skipping lightly over my chin, down my neck, to my chest. All those hours we've spent together fighting side-by-side, and this is what I'm going to remember the most — his soft touch.

"Again," I say.

"Yes, again. This time for you." The smile on his face is the sexiest thing I have ever seen. It already feels like we waited too long to get here. We need this time together however fleeting it will be. I nod before sliding my hands over his chest. His kisses make their way down my body, and with his hands on my hips, I spread my legs.

I will take what I can while there are still unspoken words between us.

# Chapter Twenty-Three

I've never been as content as I am after sex with Jiro. I'm so tired I could sink into the covers next to him and sleep the rest of my life away happily. To lie in my lover's arms after sex is such a treat, one I've never had before. Neither Joshua nor Chad wanted to be intimate or talk afterward. They would use me and set me aside when they were done, like a three year old with an unloved toy. I rub my forehead against Jiro's side to try and erase the memory. I'm going to need a lot of time to get rid of this one, though.

We lie together in bed for a while before getting up and dressed again. Jiro is kind enough to pull on his pants and retrieve our shirts from the living room. I'm glad we weren't interrupted.

"I didn't hurt you?" Jiro asks, his eyes falling to my wrists as he watches me search the floor for my undershirt. I'm very comfortable in my own skin around him. I never thought I would let a boy look at me like this but it's surprisingly easy with him.

"Well, you have inflicted a lot of damage on my body recently." I smile and stretch though I'm half naked. "But this? No, Jiro. You can pin me down anytime you want." I raise my eyebrows at him as I find the undershirt and pull it over my head, then step back into my pants. "It was... perfect." We smile at each other, and Jiro sighs.

"I admit I want to undress you again and go for round three." Jiro laughs.

"Later. I promise." I'm in trouble with this one. I know where his mind will be from now on, and that's comforting. I'd rather have him thinking about me than someone else.

I pull the sheets off my bed, stuff them in the auto-hamper in the hall, and open the small window in my room. No need to advertise to my aunts what we were doing in here this afternoon.

Jiro is all dressed again, and it's almost as if he wasn't naked five minutes ago. I sigh. Too bad really. He has combed through his hair with his fingers and tucked it behind his ears. Looking around the room, he stops at my desk and lightly touches my stationery and all the little gifts I've received from my aunts and friends over the years. It's so nice to have him here, in my room. He's even more a part of my world.

I come up behind him, reaching around to hug him and take the small maneki-neko from his hands. "From Miko, of course," I say, setting the ceramic cat back down on the desk. When he turns to hug me, I get a good view of his face. "Uh, oh. Your eye is beginning to swell."

He goes to the mirror and examines the welt forming under his eye.

"No matter. It was worth it." He walks to the front door and slips into his boots. "Shall we go back to Ku 6?"

"Oh, plans have changed." This is the time to tell him, but I have a better idea. His katana on the couch reminded me of something. I pull my hair into a ponytail, put my tablet in my bag, and slip into my boots. "Can you come with me down to the catacombs? It's time I took stock of my family's belongings."

"Sure, love," he says.

"I like this new nickname you have for me." I lean into him and brush my nose across his cheek with a smile. "It's fitting."

"Let's go before I change my mind about round three." He opens the door and waves me through, reaching out to smack me on the ass, and I squeal and giggle as I dodge out of the way. I love this new side to our relationship.

I take him straight down in my building into the lower levels via the elevator, holding his hand the entire time. My family's storage unit is in Sub-level Three, Section Two. I have never actually been there. When we moved from Ku 5 to Ku 9, Aunt Kimie handled the move including everything in storage. Most likely I'm going to find something to make the news from this morning more real. I've never thought to come here before, even though I have every right to. I just didn't care before now.

We approach the storage unit, and I scan my palm on the pad at the door. The room clicks open with a tiny hiss, and the lights flicker on. I don't think anyone's been here in a long time, but hand it to Aunt Kimie to keep the place neat. Everything is boxed up and stacked from the floor to the ceiling all the way back. She was even careful to leave space to walk between some of the biggest boxes.

"What are we looking for?"

"Jiro, things came to a head this morning and my aunt confronted Mark."

He's immediately serious, stops me to face him, and crosses his arms. "What happened?"

"Well, they argued, I eavesdropped, and then I broke in on them. Mark took a bit of convincing, but eventually, Aunt Kimie told him to tell me the truth about everything." I turn and start opening boxes, peeking inside. This one has paper books, the one next to it contains cooking pots. I will probably be more lucky with the air-tight boxes towards the back.

"Last night after I got home, I looked up what kiku means in the dictionary. It's a flower, a chrysanthemum. The chrysanthemum is the symbol of Japan." I can hear the curiosity in his voice.

"I know. Help me down with this one?" I point to a large air-tight container stacked on top of two others. I grab one side, and he grabs the other. It's hefty, though, and comes crashing to the ground, the top jumping open with a pop.

I kneel down, reach in, and pull out the most beautiful kimono I have ever seen. Multiple layers of heavy fabric, first purple then red and green. Silk and gold threads woven together to give the impression of water flowing over rocks. I flip the kimono over to show the front and numerous sixteen-petaled chrysanthemum kamon drape down each side of the collar. The kimono has to weigh at least ten kilos. I can barely lift the behemoth, much less wear it.

Jiro sits down next to me, astonishment passing over his face. "Sanaa, do you know what this is?"

I would cry, but the shock has worn off. "I do. These items belong to my family. I'm the last in the Kiku line. My great-great-great, I don't know, great times thirty grandfather was the last ruling emperor of Japan." I concentrate on the kimono. I'm afraid to find out what he thinks.

I wait and wait, but Jiro is silent for so long I finally raise my head and find him staring at me dumbfounded. "Is this what Sakai told you today?"

I nod. "There's more..." My voice trails off. How do I even start telling this crazy tale?

"More what? More kimonos? I can see that."

I burst out laughing. Jiro must think this news is so ridiculous nothing can top it, and usually he'd be right. But I've heard so much today that dozens of royal kimonos are actually a bonus.

He laughs slightly and grasps my shoulders. "What? What else besides this?"

"Sanaa isn't even my real name. The name was given to me when I was two to protect me from..." I pause to wet my brittle, dry lips. "Being assassinated. Sanaa was my cousin's name. She died in the same explosion that killed my parents. My real name is Hanako."

"Hanako. Didn't Matsuda call you that?" I nod. Jiro must have overheard the entire conversation. "He knows that this is what you are?"

I nod again.

"Hanako," he says with a puzzled expression. "It doesn't sound right."

"It isn't. Don't call me Hanako. I like Sanaa better." The name was given to me by Sakai, and I am never going to give it up.

"Little flower," he says with a smile on his face and a poke in my ribs. Wasn't he just saying he was glad I was not a withering flower of a girl? I have a bad feeling he's going to use this to tease me for the rest of my life.

"No! Not that either." I laugh and smack his hand away. "Sanaa, Sanaa-chan, Love, or whatever, but not Little flower or Hanako." Hanako died in the explosion that killed my parents. I am hereby burying her memory with everything else.

"Jiro, there's even more to this story."

"I bet there is."

He's so good at making me laugh, and I smile at him before becoming serious again. "But the other big thing I have to tell you is, with this imperial business, I can never marry legally. Maybe marriage isn't a big deal, but I know it means more to some people than others." Sakai never got to marry my mother nor Charlotte and I can tell he wanted to. He regretted it. Maybe Jiro will regret it too. Maybe I will?

"It's okay. I knew the minute you pulled out these kimonos. Not being able to marry legally is going to be the least of your worries, I'm sure. We'll find a way around it anyway. Sanaa, you and I will walk a different path."

"You and me? Together? This doesn't make you want to run? I wouldn't blame you. Honestly."

"Yes, together," he says, pulling me into a hug. "You're the one for me. There's no one better matched for me than you."

Relief. I'm so relieved I'm ready to cry again.

I pull back and study him closely. He's not afraid. "So, you don't think I'm some sort of freak of nature? I mean, I'm the last in this imperial line. Think of how completely random that is."

"Well, I'm astounded and slightly confused. Yeah, there's always been something about you, but a freak? No, this changes nothing about the way I feel about you. I love you." My heart leaps, and I kiss him before I can cry. "This?" He gestures to the box of goods. "This is just... well, it just _is_."

I couldn't have hoped for a better outcome. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and steady myself.

"We should search the rest of these."

All in all, we find ten more kimono, obi, and a few fans. Ancient lacquerware, brushes for shodō, tea sets, and a whole pile of paper written in calligraphy I can't read fill multiple boxes, but the last box has what I was hoping for: four katana swords and other fighting weapons. Jiro and I remove each one from the case.

"What does yours look like?"

"Here," he says as he reaches around and pulls the sword off his back. He unsheathes it and places it next to the others. Ah, his sword is stunning, definitely hand-forged and brilliant. He takes great care with the blade, oils and cleans it often. If it has ever seen blood, I can't tell. Placing the sword gently next to the other four, I realize katana come in different lengths. A few short swords lie in the case so I pull them out too.

"What are these?"

"A companion blade. _Daishō_ together, but the smaller of the pairing is the _wakizashi_. My family has no wakizashi. Traditionally, samurai carried both."

I pick up one of the center katana and heft it. It has a shorter blade than the other three but longer than the wakizashi. There isn't enough room in the storage area with the boxes piled from floor to ceiling, so I won't be able to put the blade to test here for fear of knocking something over. I step away from Jiro and hold it in several kata positions. First over my head, then with both hands off to the side, and a thrust forward with the tip, but this sword is unbalanced in my hands. It doesn't feel right.

I set it down and pick up the next longest. When the sword catches the light, I notice the swirls falling from the guard down to the tip of the blade. Near the grip, a signature and the stamp of the royal chrysanthemum are etched into the metal. I show this to Jiro, and he nods.

"Try this one," Jiro says, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

I do the same motions I did with the last sword. This time, though, I feel how right this sword is for me. In each position, it arcs out from my body in the most beautiful way. I hold it out in front of me and swipe down in a quick sweeping motion. The sword practically sings. Immediately, this katana has become an extension of my arm, a piece of my body. I turn it over to examine the blade, pressing my left thumb against the sharp ridge.

"Sanaa!"

A small line of blood erupts across the width of my thumb. The smallest ounce of pressure can cut skin.

This is the most lethal weapon I have ever held, and I'm paralyzed. When I don't move, Jiro grabs my hand and presses his thumb on mine. Yesterday, I was certain I had to have my own sword, and now my obsession sits in my hands. Do I love it or do I hate it? The way my chest is buzzing with excitement, I think I'm in love.

"You'll want to be careful with this one. It has a hunger for death, but... I believe it's the right sword for you." He examines my thumb. Both our hands are bloody now. It won't be the last time. "I don't think you'll need stitches, but you'll definitely need a bandage."

I'm unable to tear my eyes from the katana. "I have one in my bag." He grabs my bag and rummages through to find a bandage and a handkerchief. I stick my thumb in my mouth and, with my right hand, I lift the katana in front of me and flip it left to right and back again to examine the craftsmanship, the curve of the blade, the perfect diamonds laid out between the leather in the grip.

"It's gorgeous," Jiro says from over my shoulder. He's been watching the katana as I have been. We're both in love with each other and our own swords.

I take my thumb out of my mouth, and Jiro opens the bandage and secures it in place.

"Are you shocked?"

"Yes and no." He nods in response. I'm sure he's the same way. Shocked to be carrying something so powerful, not shocked because we were meant to do it. "Have you ever fought someone with yours?"

He hesitates for a moment. "I've fought two people and injured them both. One is dead by another's hand. The other lives with a grudge. I never want to kill people, but I would do anything to defend my family... to defend you."

"We will defend each other. Your lessons will not go to waste."

I put the katana — _my_ katana! It definitely belongs to me now — back in its sheath and pick it up, placing it over my head and left shoulder.

Jiro looks at my sword again, and I smile and pose with a sultry wink. He raises his eyebrows at me and laughs.

"It's a good choice. Our swords are similar, almost like they're related."

"The signature stamp is the same on both. I'm sure they're related, probably made by the same person."

Jiro smiles. "Meant to be then."

We pack everything up and stack the boxes where we found them. The katana, nestled into the crook of my shoulder blade and curved down across the length of my back, hugs me tight. Now is the time to face Sakai and Koichi with my new weapon, my new life.

On the train to Ku 6, Jiro and I stand close to each other in the corner, and I tell him everything else Sakai told me including the news about my aunt I didn't know I had, Sakai's affair with her, their child, and that the explosion that killed my parents wasn't an accident. I'm thankful for the voices of kids on the train returning home from school. Their clamor covers up our conversation. Tonight, I have to go to Aunt Kimie and figure out what else she has to tell me.

Jiro leads me into the dōjō, and Sakai and Koichi are already waiting for us. By Koichi's serious face, I'm sure Sakai has been briefing him of our morning, but they both pale when I enter, take off my coat and bag, and find the sword peeking over my shoulder.

Sakai strides towards me angry. "Where did you get that? _How_ did you get that?"

I stop and take a step back, putting out my hand. "Stop, Mark. The sword is mine, and you know it. I went to the catacombs and found my family's... _my_ belongings."

He's the most furious I have ever seen him, but instead of reaming me out, he turns on Jiro. "How could you let her carry that in the streets? You're as mad as she is."

Jiro raises his eyebrows and freezes in the motion of taking off his coat. "Sakai, you of all people should know no one tells Sanaa what she can or cannot do."

I purse my lips and try not to smile. If anyone has my back, Jiro does.

"They're mad! Both of them!" Sakai has now turned on Koichi, but the only thing Koichi can do is smile.

"More like madly in love. Look at them."

Jiro and I look at each other. I didn't think we were being obvious, but I guess we are. Jiro's protective stance and the glow radiating from my body gives us away.

Sakai rubs his face with his hands. "You'll both be the death of me, of that I am sure. Well, let's see it. Which one did you choose?"

I take off the katana and give it to him. He holds it out in front of him and slides the blade halfway out of the sheath before wincing and turning away like he's seen a graphic image. Koichi gives a slow, low whistle. Jiro seems ready to jump up and down with glee. My choice is divisive.

"Oh Sanaa, really?" Sakai is pained, his voice pleading.

"She has good taste," Koichi says, barely containing a laugh. "I thought I would never look upon _Kazenoho,_ and here it is, right in front of me."

"Kazenoho? What's that?"

"The Wind of Fire," Sakai says as he examines the blade before pushing it back in the sheath. "Kazenoho. It's your katana's name, and boy, did you really have to pick the most famous one there was?"

"I'm sorry. I just knew when I held it... this sword belongs to me." I feel bad for making Sakai visibly upset, but what can I do now? I'm certainly not going to bring it back.

"Did you know it's the companion sword to Jiro's?" Koichi asks. He puts out his hand, and Jiro gives him his sword without objection. Both men unsheathe the swords and look upon them side by side. Sakai sighs wearily again. "They were forged by the same master. Kazenoho and _Oninoten_ together again. I never thought I'd see the day." Koichi smiles at Jiro and me, pride beaming straight from his face down on both of us. At least one of them is happy.

"Oninoten?" Jiro asks his father, his brows knitted. "You never told me my sword had a name."

I think for a minute, diving deep into my Japanese vocabulary. "The Wind of Fire and Demon of Heaven?"

Sakai and Koichi nod slowly, becoming serious again.

"These swords have killed many men, together and alone," Sakai says as he hands me back Kazenoho.

Koichi gives Oninoten back to Jiro. "May the gods have mercy on you both."

# Chapter Twenty-Four

After returning our swords, Sakai and Koichi leave the dōjō together and don't tell us where they're going. Jiro and I stand and stare at the door for a bit — the last few hours have been unreal — before we take out our swords and practice kata with them. It's been a long day already, so we keep the lesson short. He shows me how to secure Kazenoho in my belt, draw it, and re-sheathe it which we weren't able to do before with the wooden swords.

Practicing with a real katana is remarkably different but comforting that it's easier than I expected it to be. The metal blade slices through the air with less resistance, and I never lose my balance when stepping forward or lunging to the side like I had in the past. Kazenoho has changed my center of gravity and become the perfect counterweight to all of my stances. I love it already. I am powerful, alert, ready. Having Jiro next to me with his sword is significant. Together, we're unstoppable.

When we're done, we get dressed again, swords hidden, and he takes me back to Ku 9, straight to the door of my apartment.

"You have a lot to discuss with your aunts tonight, Sanaa." I have pressed myself against the wall next to the palm scanner and pulled Jiro close to me. We need to be quiet so no one hears us, and I dread being separated from him at all. "Message me later if you like, ne?"

"I want you to meet them."

"Believe it or not, I think I already have, but it was a long time ago. Regardless, when the time is right."

"I wish..." Wishing isn't getting me anything but... "I wish I were going home with you tonight instead of lying in my bed alone."

"Me too." His hand runs down the length of my forearm and grips my hand tight before letting go.

I turn and palm the lock. Like yesterday, he watches me enter the apartment all the way before disappearing down the stairs.

Just inside the door Aunt Kimie and Lomo are sitting on the couch, reading, and drinking wine. They've been waiting for me.

"Sanaa-chan!" Aunt Lomo jumps from her seat and knocks her glass to the floor with a crash. "Shit." She immediately stoops to pick up the pieces.

"Stop," I say. I've seen enough blood today and don't need Aunt Lomo cutting herself as well. We break multiple glasses a month in this house. It's a wonder we can move about the apartment barefoot most days. "No one move. I'll clean up."

I take off my coat, bag, and sword and prop them all next to the door, quickly walk to the kitchen, grab two new wineglasses, the broom and pan, and towel. I keep my boots on for the time being though Aunt Kimie frowns at me.

"So clumsy of me." Aunt Lomo and I sweep up the glass and mop up the wine as Aunt Kimie sits on the couch with her feet up.

"Sit down, Auntie, and pour me some wine, too, please."

Aunt Lomo eyes me as she opens the bottle and starts pouring. "But you don't like wine."

"I could use a glass."

"You've been down to the store room today." Aunt Kimie says, her arms folded over her chest. "Did Mark tell you what was down there?"

I get down on my hands and knees and peer under the couch and around the coffee table to make sure I've cleaned up all the glass, throw the towel on top of the broken shards in the dustpan, and sit down in the chair opposite them both with a heavy sigh.

"No, no one told me. It was a lucky guess. I took stock of almost everything there. It's quite the collection."

"I should have melted those things down the day your mother died."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't. Those things belong to me now. And don't blame Mark for today. It's not his fault." I sit and stare at my knees.

"It damned well is his fault. He was supposed to stay away. Forever, if possible."

"How can you even say that?" My temper rises quickly, my inner dragon awake and breathing fire. "How could you keep him away from me? He's practically my uncle." But instead of yelling, my voice quietens and squeaks. "He could've been even more to me."

"Oh, Sanaa-chan." Aunt Lomo is crying now. She reaches into her pocket for a handkerchief and dabs at her eyes. "This is too stressful for me. Should I go pick up dinner?"

I sulk again and pluck at my pants. I love Aunt Lomo, but she's really no good in these situations.

"Please," Aunt Kimie says. "Curry?"

Aunt Lomo goes to the door and puts on her shoes. "It'll take at least an hour."

"Perfect. Love you." Aunt Kimie smiles at Aunt Lomo as she opens the door.

"Love you both." And she's gone.

"Come sit next to me." She opens her arm, and I release myself from my chair and slide into her, resting my head on her shoulder. "Do you want us to call you Hanako? We can, if that's what you want."

"No. No. I'm very happy as Sanaa, thank you."

Aunt Kimie laughs a little before kissing me on my temple. "Good. Sanaa is a perfectly fine name. Hanako? Well, your mother was obsessed with flowers from a young age, especially after learning about the kiku and our heritage. She read _The Chrysanthemum and the Sword_ a million times until finally our father got so fed up he erased the book from her tablet."

"Well, it _was_ a good book." I've read the epic myself but only the one time.

Aunt Kimie sighs and reaches next to her for her tablet. "I have something to show you. I've held on to this for almost twenty years and was always wondering when this day would come. Your mother made one video for you..."

"But she hated being on camera." This is why I only have my small collection of photos.

"She did. Hated the camera with a passion. It was torture to get her to pose for photos. But a few days after you were born, and she was back at home, she became obsessed with making sure you were taken care of if anything ever happened to her. I don't know if she sensed something was wrong, or if it was the hormones, but she changed her will and asked me to take care of everything in storage."

I guessed correctly. I bet everyone else's storage in the ward is just piled with junk. Ours is boxed up and tidy, the way Aunt Kimie likes all her possessions.

"It's very neat and orderly," I say with a smile.

"I have an inventory, if you want, but, anyway..." Aunt Kimie brings her tablet up from sleep mode and goes into a password protected folder I have never tried to access before. In the folder are a few images and text files, but also one video with a time and date stamp of just over twenty years ago, December twenty-eighth. Sakai told me today my real birthday is December twenty-third. This is further proof of my assumed identity.

"The last time I watched this was right after your parents died, so I don't remember everything your mother details. Do you want me to leave?"

I'm a little frightened to be watching a video of my mother without someone with me. I have no clear memories of what she looked like or sounded like, just what's manufactured in my head from the photos I've seen and the stories I've been told.

"No. Don't leave me."

Aunt Kimie nods and props her feet up on the coffee table, placing the tablet on her knees so we can both watch.

"Okay, here we go."

The face that fills the screen makes me catch my breath. Matsuda, Sakai, Koichi, Mariko, and everyone else who ever commented on my looks were right. I'm the spitting image of my mother.

_"Aw, dammit, I'm not centered,"_ she says adjusting the camera, and I laugh because she's so concerned about the video she never thought to edit out any of the beginning. Whatever she is using to film herself falls over, and we get a good view of the ceiling before she straightens it back up again. Aunt Kimie laughs, too, but this is bittersweet for her. Tears form in the corners of her eyes.

_"There."_ My mother takes a deep breath and looks straight into the camera before laughing and shaking her head. _"I've always been bad at this stuff, so first off, my apologies to whoever is watching. It's probably you Kimie before it's Hanako. Be sure to tell her I'm not a complete klutz?_

_"So, Hanako Itami, I'm making this video for you. Should I die before you're old enough to understand anything, either Aunt Kimie or Mark Sakai will show this to you."_

Her face is getting progressively sadder.

_"I want you to know everything. Everything about us and your family, about your heritage, and especially about what's in store for you..."_ But she's broken out into tears and waves in front of her face before standing up and walking off camera.

Aunt Kimie laughs and pauses the video. "I totally forgot about what a mess your mother was after you were born. She was the happiest and saddest I have ever seen her. Elated to be a mother, but the hormones after birth made her cry and cry. I swear, though, she came out of it fairly quickly. Let me fast-forward a little." She scrubs the video forward, and my mother comes back, sits down, and takes another deep breath.

_"I'm glad Max isn't here to witness how awful I am at all of this. Hanako, you're so fussy. You just aren't happy unless one of us is holding you and walking you everywhere. Your father is out pacing the halls of our building right now while I do this. Please tell me you'll sleep through the night eventually."_

This _is_ bittersweet. Yes, Mother, I do sleep through the night sometimes. I wish I did every night.

_"I have so much I need to tell you, but I need you to go to Mark Sakai if you ever need the truth about this world we live in. If I trust one person who is not my family, it's him. His brother and family are also trustworthy, but Mark will be the head of them all, and you should go to him first about anything. As you may or may not already know, our little family are the last living imperial descendants of Japan. As first born child, I am the direct descendant as are you. Kimie is already married so she is out of the running. For you and me, it is our duty to safeguard the Japanese people in any way we can. This is what our line has always done since the beginning of time itself."_

Why am I so shocked hearing this? Coming from my own mother's mouth, my situation is much more real than it was ten hours ago sitting in Ku 1.

_"According to current estimates, colonization is set to begin about twenty years from now, around the time I am forty-four, maybe forty-two. You might be thinking forty-two is really old, and I can't help but think the same thing. But back in the old days, when we lived outside of the domes, people used to live well into their nineties and even later. I'm hoping once we're moved to a planet that can support us, we'll live longer again. I'm also hoping that with this longevity, we'll all have plenty of years for peace in our lifetime. But anyway, I'm getting off-track. I should have made a list of everything I wanted to say..."_

This makes me smile. I love lists. I wish she hadn't been so camera shy.

She takes another deep breath.

_"When we move to the new world, all of Nishikyō will no longer be restricted to their little wards, divided into their little pie pieces. This placement has worked for many years here but only because it had to. It was necessary. On our new world, the child limit will be lifted, and everyone will be able to settle wherever they like. But that's not what's going to happen to the Japanese population. The strongest clans here have been growing and convincing everyone we need to go back to the old ways. Back to the samurai, the daimyōs, the shōgunate. We cannot let this happen. The only true way to represent everyone's voice in government is to build a system that listens to all, not just a few. As imperial descendants, our duty is to unite the existing population and keep them from going to war like the clans want to._

_"Hanako, only a few million people are left on Earth, and not all of them are Japanese. Our country used to be strong and advanced, but was ravaged by earthquakes, floods, and eventually diseases brought over from the mainland. We all must be strong again, the whole human race, and we can't do that if we're killing each other off._

_"If I'm alive, you will never see this video. I will have told you all of this myself. I will have shown you the records, educated you in social and political studies, and prepped you to work with the people to settle on our new planet and create a working government. I'm sorry I don't have the time to explain everything to you here. There's even more to this business including the inability to marry and the importance of bearing sons, should you wish to have children, and should the laws never be lifted. Go to Mark for more about this. He understands everything, better than he should."_

She's sad again and probably thinking about whatever happened between her and Sakai. Someday I'll figure that out.

_"If all goes according to plan, we will be figureheads, but we will have kept the peace, and will, in turn, be at peace in retirement. It's the best we can hope for._

_"You must understand. This is what we have been tasked to do, but it is not without danger. Once it's revealed to the populace the imperial line is still alive, we will be watched constantly and called upon to do many things. There are others, though, who will do their best to eliminate us. You must be careful. You must protect yourself and your family in any way you can."_

Kazenoho won't guard against dying in an explosion or anything else truly devastating, but, hopefully, I can keep personal assassins away. Sakai was right to train me. Witnessing the desperation on my mother's face, I'm sure she wants me to go to every length possible to ensure our safety. What did she have in mind? Spies, assassins, poisoning... The list is endless.

_"I wish I could tell you to hole up and wait it all out but that means war, and war means you would all still be in a lot of danger, you and the rest of what's left of us. I'm sorry your options are not happier ones."_

She sits back from the camera, smiles, and twists her hair over one shoulder. So alike.

_"Never forget how much we love you, Hanako. I want you to have a happy life, to have someone you love and hopefully have children of your own someday should you wish. The imperial line does not have to go on indefinitely, that will be up to you or up to your children. Our duty is to keep our people alive and fight for their survival here and on our new world. Peace may take years, decades... it may take the rest of my life and yours, but this is what we were meant to do, and we cannot deny it._

_"I hear your father coming back now, so I'm going to go. Take care. I love you."_

She ends the video by blowing a kiss at the camera and waving, her shoulder-length straight hair sways as she leans in to stop the recording. Before the image fades to black, I see her smile and the freckles across her nose.

I was just saying to Jiro how I wanted proof Sakai was telling the truth about my mother's wishes. Her testimony was sitting on Aunt Kimie's tablet the whole time.

"I forgot about how intense Junko could be. She bought into this role one hundred percent."

I stand up from the couch and begin pacing, back and forth, back and forth. My stomach is a ball of knots, and it occurs to me that this is what true stress does to a person. I may never relax again.

"You saw this video after she died, right?"

Aunt Kimie nods.

"Then why... _why_ did you raise me the way you did? Did you not see how important this was, _still is_ , to mother? Why did you let me become an engineer? Why did you not raise me to know more about my heritage?" I thought I had expended all of the anger this morning, that the rage was all gone after the stress-reducing, mind-blowing sex I had with Jiro earlier. Dammit, don't think of that now, Sanaa.

But the outrage is still sitting in my gut.

Aunt Kimie's eyes are wide, and she points directly at my face. "Have you not looked in a mirror lately? You are exactly like your mother in every physical way. I swear all of Max's genes, except for his personality, were recessive. I held you at two years old, and I knew immediately there was _no way_ anyone was going to believe you were anyone but Junko's daughter, and I was _afraid_. I feared for your life!"

She jumps from the couch and comes straight for me.

"I had to keep you safe. And not just for all of this imperial nonsense, but because I couldn't bear to have anything happen to you after losing your mother. One moment, she was laughing in the bathroom, getting ready for a party, and the next she was in a body bag on a sidewalk."

No! The sobs erupt from my belly, and I double-over from the strength of them. Aunt Kimie, twenty years old, crying over my dead mother on a sidewalk. I will never be rid of the image in my head now. Grasping my shoulders, she shakes me upright until I look her in the eye.

"Do you know... do you know about the real Sanaa? About Mark's child?"

I nod, tears streaming from my eyes.

"He was devastated, absolutely, when they all died. I thought for a while he would kill himself from the grief. But together, we came up with this plan to save you. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Do you think it's easy to change someone's identity? Change someone's life? You were a baby, but still, you were a real person I was messing with."

"Stop shaking me," I say wiping my face with my sleeve. She needs to calm down, and I need to as well.

She sighs and holds my hands instead. "Mark and I decided you would take on Sanaa's identity, and Lomo and I would raise you, but I would bring you up away from Ku 6 where anyone who knew your mother lived. We were all lucky she only lived for two years in Ku 9, and the population was so transient. It allowed us to eventually move back here, and that's why we lived in Ku 5 for so long.

"I look at you every day and see your mother. Everything you say, every movement you make... even the way you play with your hair or laugh. You're exactly like her."

I pull her in and hug her tightly. Aunt Kimie has always been my support. Now I know she's done much more for me than I will ever understand.

"You need to be careful. The clans don't care about me anymore. I'm a married lesbian, for gods' sake."

We both laugh, and I squeeze her even tighter.

"But they will care about you. I honestly believe we've kept the secret for longer than I could have ever hoped. I always thought we'd be figured out way before this. You are a strong woman now and obviously able to defend yourself what with the karate and the sword fighting. They will still try to kill you, I know it."

I nod my head into her shoulder and pull back. I believe this is the truth, but the reality is still hard to swallow.

"I can't live the rest of my life in a bubble, Aunt Kimie."

"No. No I don't suppose you can. Far be it from me to give you advice on this sort of thing, but if I were you, I would live as openly as possible. Make the people love you so if anyone tried anything, there would be hell to pay. You can do this."

Until recently, I lived my life sparingly with a small circle of friends and family, a good job, and an active social life when I could find the time. Now, I'm going to have to do so much more, and it's terrifying.

Aunt Kimie lets go and grabs a handkerchief from the coffee table, handing it to me.

"Is it true what Lomo tells me, you're dating a boy?" A small smile returns to her face, and I let out a guffaw of a laugh behind the kerchief.

"Yes, it's true. Jiro Itō."

"The sword fighting brought you together?" I nod as she puts her fingers to her lips and thinks back with a smile. "I remember once, you two collided into each other at a party. He was a rambunctious kid. Handsome, ne?"

I nod and blush.

"Of course he is. Mariko's gorgeous and Koichi has always had a way about him, even with the scar along his jaw. Jiro still has that white streak in his hair?" I nod again and try not to think about the sex. "Had it since he was born."

Aunt Kimie pats me on the shoulder with a smile that's a little too knowing. "I'd love to see him again."

"I think we should all make peace and get back together. Live openly, right?" How amazing would that be? To have this large family in my life?

"Yes, soon. Let's find out what Mark has to say."

# Chapter Twenty-Five

We finish our dinner and our wine (I'm on the fence about the wine), and we talk mainly of the storage unit. With Aunt Lomo around, I'm avoiding all of the personal talk about me, my sword, Jiro, and the danger I'm in because she's very stressed. Come to think of it, Aunt Kimie and Lomo were only married for three years when they adopted me, and Aunt Lomo was pretty brave to be taking on such a huge responsibility with so many strings attached. Watching all of their work at keeping me secret coming to an end, I'm not surprised she's upset.

When Aunt Kimie gets up to retrieve her tablet, I also rise from the table and hug Aunt Lomo over her shoulders as she sits in her chair. I place my cheek next to hers and lean my head in.

"Sanaa-chan, I love you, and I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's okay. It's been a stressful day."

As Aunt Kimie opens her tablet again to send me an inventory of the storage unit, the doorbell chimes, and the read-out says it's Mark Sakai. Aunt Kimie sighs before putting on a smile and opening the door.

But Sakai is not alone. He's brought two men with him so completely different from each other it's comical. They stand behind him minding their own business as if this is all routine.

"Kimie, may we come in? You don't hate me anymore, do you?"

Aunt Kimie backs away, she places her hands in front of her, and bows deeply to Sakai from the waist.

"Gomen nasai. I should never have yelled at you like I did this morning."

"Please don't bow to me. You and I are family." He steps forward and hugs her. "I should never have yelled at you, either."

Aunt Kimie and Sakai _hugging._ I thought I'd never see the day.

"Now, I'm afraid I'm here on business, and you're not going to like anything I have to say, unfortunately."

"Mark, can you get a better preamble than that?" I smirk at him as I put the leftovers in the fridge.

"Shall I ask you about your dinner? How was the wine?" He's doing his best to keep a smile from forming on his face. I can be a real pain in the ass to him, I'm sure, but there's no need to be so gods damned serious all the time.

Aunt Lomo picks up an extra glass and brings it forward. "How about I offer you some wine, instead? It's been a long time. I hope you're well."

"I am. It's good to see you, Lomo." He hugs her and kisses her on the cheek. "Yes, I'll have some wine, but before anything else, I need to ask these gentlemen in from the hall." He motions to them as he kicks off his shoes.

The first enters, and everyone backs away to let this behemoth of a man into our tiny apartment. He must be close to 130 kilos (I barely weigh fifty) and over 185 centimeters tall. He is so large he actually has to step sideways to make it in the door. But he has a kind face, and when he bows to us, a thick crop of hair covers the top of his head. Sakai reaches up (Sakai is minuscule next to him... I'm trying not to laugh) and clasps this man on the shoulder.

"Sanaa, this is Oyama." A fitting name. _Yama_ means mountain, and he is a mountain of a man.

"Uh..." But while I'm stammering as to what to say, the other man comes in. He can't be more than twenty-six years old and has opted for the shaved head of a monk. He's lean with a square jaw and piercing eyes that search the room even as he kicks off his shoes next to Sakai. When he stops and stands next to Oyama, they both bow to me.

"And this is his brother, Usagi."

"Usagi?" Rabbit? Really?

"Yes, ma'am."

"I'm too young to be called ma'am, please."

"Then, miss." And he is silent. I glance around the bulk of Oyama, and they're both carrying swords in their belts. Usagi closes the door quietly behind him. Did Sakai just say they are brothers? How the hell does that happen?

We all sit down except for Oyama and Usagi, and sitting down, I'm a tiny, little bug next to Oyama, but he smiles down at me, and I smile back. He's not frightening, just large.

"Kimie, you remember everything we discussed eighteen years ago when we fixed Sanaa's identity?"

Aunt Kimie nods and brings her hand to her lips. "I do. Do we have to start tonight?"

"I want to get her settled in before anyone else figures it out."

Staying silent is painful but badgering any of them right now would just drive both my aunts to tears. At least I know better.

"Sanaa, you now know the truth, the truth of what you are, and what you have to do with your life. Did you watch the video your mother made for you?"

"Yeah. Have you seen it?"

"No. Junko told me she made it. She told me what she said so hopefully that's enough." He doesn't want to see the video. I don't blame him. "I'm afraid you can't stay here anymore. This apartment is not safe for you nor your aunts. Oyama and Usagi will be in charge of your safety, but they are going to be two of many people."

Aunt Kimie stares at the floor off to the side, not objecting. I want her to object but she's not saying a word. Object! I'm not ready for my life to change this drastically. But this was all decided when I was two.

"I've spent most of this day rearranging the living quarters in Koichi and Mariko's building, the one they live in not the one with the dōjō..."

"They own both buildings?" Wow, they must be more well-off than I thought.

"The family owns them. We have several. Your family owns a lot of property in Nishikyō as well. Kimie has been managing it all for years."

Even more secrets. We must be rich, and I never had any idea. I wonder how much time Aunt Kimie spends at her administrative job in Ku 2, and how much is really spent doing these other things.

"We have about fifteen minutes before my staff shows up to help you pack. You will have your own apartment tonight. Tomorrow morning, we'll discuss next steps for you."

Sakai is being deliberately vague with my aunts, and I know why. Jiro lives in that same building, and I'm not going to say a word. This is the best thing that could possibly have happened tonight. But looking at both Aunt Kimie and Lomo's sad faces, I realize they'll miss me, and I'll miss seeing them every day even if I'm seeing someone else I love instead. I wanted my own place, and I was even thinking I wanted to live in Ku 6. Now, I have both and mixed feelings.

"Kimie and Lomo, you will need to move, too. Either here in Ku 9 or back to Ku 5, if you like. I know you won't go back to Ku 6."

Aunt Kimie and Lomo hold hands and nod. "After this morning, Lomo and I had a long talk. We're willing to move back to Ku 5. We had a happy life there, and we'll only be one ward away from Sanaa. I would like to be close so it's easier for her to come and visit us."

"Did you know we'd all be moving?" I look from one face to another in this quiet room. Sakai meets my eyes straight on. Aunt Lomo stares into her wine glass. Aunt Kimie watches Sakai. Oyama and Usagi mind their own business. "Aunt Kimie, did you know?"

"I knew. I've always known that the day you found out, everything would be changed. This is why I let you be the person you wanted to be growing up. You had freedom, the freedom to make the choices you wanted to make. Your mother never had freedom. We always told you she was a chemist, but no, this was her life instead. Both our parents groomed her for her role from the day she was born. She was ruled by it. At least you had the chance to be free..."

"Before my life is taken away from me." My temper and anger are nonexistent. Now, it's all just logical. Did I expect my life to continue like it was no big deal, like nothing has changed?

"Don't be sad, Sanaa-chan," Sakai says before taking a sip of wine. "You will still be you. You will just be doing something completely different. Trust me. It's going to be one hell of a ride."

I sit on my bed with my tablet while two girls in their mid twenties named Risa and Beni pack up everything in my room. They told me they didn't need any help, but I'm hesitant to let strangers touch my personal things, so I'm sitting in here while Sakai, Aunt Kimie, and Lomo all socialize in the other room. Oyama moved back out to the hallway after Risa and Beni arrived, and Usagi is standing outside my door.

After about ten minutes of watching these girls pack, though, I think I can count on them. They're careful with everything, neat and orderly. Risa, with her wavy hair and red nails, wraps up every little thing I have and places each one securely in boxes. Beni, the opposite of Risa with her chin length hair and casual demeanor, is pulling all of my clothes out of my wall drawers, folding them neatly, and making piles to be boxed as well. They won't be long. I don't have many belongings.

When I take my tablet out of silent mode, more news awaits me. First, another message from Chad. He sounds desperate. I've ignored him for far too long. I'll flag it and write him back tomorrow.

Then there's a message from Miko: " _I wanted to tell you in person, but Yoichi and I are engaged! He asked me this morning, and I said yes. Did you ever think you'd see the day? I'm so stupidly happy, it's embarrassing, but I know that you approve, ne? Tomorrow night, 7pm at the izakaya. We're closing up and having a private party to celebrate. Please come! You and Jiro-kun, of course, and your aunts. Everyone will be there. Love you. XO._ "

While my life was being turned upside down so was Miko's.

"Are you all right, Sanaa-san?" I'm in tears for the billionth time today, and Beni has seen me wipe them away.

"I'm fine, Beni. Happy news for once."

Risa ignores my tears and continues to pack which is fine by me. I send Miko my congratulations and assure her we'll come, though I feel I have no say in such matters anymore. Still, this is family, and I doubt I'll be kept from this party just because of what happened today.

I check my chat status, and Jiro is online.

"Do you know what's going on over here?" I type.

_"I was wondering if you'd be online soon. No. What's happening?"_

"I'm being moved. Two girls are here packing up my belongings."

_"Let me guess. You're moving here?"_

"How did you know?"

_"I came home after dropping you off and half the building was in chaos. A few family members moved out and more security staff moved in. It wasn't a stretch."_

"You're so observant."

_"Yes, I also noticed today you have the sweetest three little dots on your inner right thigh."_

Ha! He is sex messaging me with two strange girls in my room. If I start laughing, they're going to think I'm crazy.

"Save that for later. I don't intend on sleeping alone tonight after all."

_"Good. The apartment across the hall is completely empty. I'm hoping you'll be there. Did you see the other news today?"_

"Miko and Yoichi? Yes. I'm so happy for them. I'm wondering if we've had enough surprises for one day, though."

_"I think we have. See you soon. Message me when you're leaving. I'll meet you here."_

Damn, I'm tired. This day is ten years long.

"Sanaa-san, this fell out of your sock drawer. I think you may want to keep it." Beni hands me a small slip of paper, my omikuji, from New Year's Eve — the small blessing for moving residence. I remember Jiro's was a blessing in love.

A chill comes over me and causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. The gods have been watching out for us.

Beni and Risa only take an hour to pack everything up. They load the boxes on two hand-trucks and wheel all my earthly possessions out the door. Watching it go makes me nervous. It's really happening. I'm moving out of my home to my own apartment. I'm starting a whole new life. Twenty-four hours ago, I was standing in the station with Jiro having wildly dirty thoughts. Now I'm saying good-bye to my aunts and walking out my apartment door for the last time.

We all head to the transitway, excepting Beni and Risa, to get back to Ku 6 which surprises me. I thought maybe we'd jump in cars waiting for us downstairs, but Sakai says I'm safe for now before the heads of the clans figure out who I am. Anonymity will be fleeting. The buried anger in Matsuda's voice when he was talking to Emiko and Minamoto is a sure sign he's close to making a decision about my eventual life or death. Anything could happen. He could sell his information to Maeda or Taira. He may convince Minamoto or one of the others to take me hostage. He may even try to kill me himself. I wish we could do something about him before it's too late.

On the train, Usagi sticks close to Sakai and me while Oyama stands across the car from us.

"So these two are to follow me everywhere?" I hate the idea of losing what's left of my private life.

"Yes, and they will both be living on either side of you. Usagi, and Jiro I might add, are for personal protection. Should you need to eat, you will always ask Oyama to either get you food or buy the ingredients to make it yourself. When we are out, you must always ask him to eat first. He is a trained _dokumiyaku_."

"Uh... I don't know this word, but I think I understand the concept. Is this really necessary?"

No wonder Oyama is so large; he's a food-taster.

"Do you want to take the chance? Besides Oyama's been waiting for this day for years, haven't you?"

"Indeed I have, miss." It's the first time I've heard him talk, and he has a low, sweet baritone voice.

"That is a crazy career choice, Mark," I whisper.

"He has a discerning palate," Sakai whispers back. "Was born to do this. And he likes food and pretty girls, so this job is perfect for him."

Oyama smiles and bows again, and all I can do is shake my head.

I had messaged Jiro before we left, and, when we arrive at his building, he waits for us in the downstairs lobby. "I saw Beni and Risa standing outside the apartment across the hall from me. Are you doing what I think you're doing?"

"Yes, I am. Usagi and Oyama will be on either side, you and Yoichi are across the hall. This seemed like the best place for Sanaa to live."

"I agree, though I wish you would tell me about these things ahead of time."

Sakai stops and looks straight at Jiro. "You were taking care of Sanaa all afternoon while I was taking care of this. What would you rather have been doing?"

Jiro gulps and stiffens. "Nothing but that, Sakai-san. I apologize."

I've never seen Sakai come close to dressing down Jiro, and I'm hoping that's as harsh as he gets. Being in the middle of this is uncomfortable. I shift back and forth on my feet until Sakai nods and heads up the stairs, all of us following in his wake.

I'm led to the second floor, and, halfway down the hall, Beni and Risa wait outside a door for us with all my boxes. I assume everyone is waiting outside because Sakai has keyed this door to only respond to me so, without even asking, I head straight for the scanner and palm the apartment open. Usagi checks every room, every corner, and Risa and Beni start unpacking.

My new home is a basic one bedroom apartment, renovated recently. I love the rice paper light fixtures on the walls, and everything in the kitchen and bathroom is brand new. The bedroom has a double bed with wall drawers, a desk, and a standing closet. A plush, cushy couch and chair are along one wall in the living area with a coffee table. A small dining table with chairs sits close to the kitchen that shares space with the living area. The apartment is quite modern, loft-like, and much bigger and nicer than the small efficiency I was hoping for.

Not bad for my first place, though I'm about to complain about the lack of windows when I realize, of course, there are no windows. Wouldn't want assassins coming in through them. Just the fact my mind can comprehend that is making me sick to my stomach. I'm glad I already ate.

"I really don't need all this space. You could have chosen a small apartment for me."

Sakai's eyes widen. "This _is_ the smallest apartment in the building, and I'm ashamed it was the only secure one for you. If I could, I'd give you mine which is ten times this size."

"Really, Mark..." I wave my hand at him, embarrassed by the attention he's bringing on me.

"Stop. You'll be spending a lot of time here. Dozens of people will visit you in this room. It _will_ get crowded. Trust me."

I nod, just wanting to end the conversation before he gets angry with me, and I sit next to Jiro on the couch while Risa and Beni unpack in the bedroom.

"I'll be back in the morning," Sakai says, after he has surveyed my new space. "I hope you sleep well tonight. If you need to leave for anything, please let Usagi know. He's in the apartment closer to the stairs." He motions to both Oyama and Usagi and all three depart.

I rest my head on Jiro's shoulder with a sigh and reach over to hold his hand.

"How are you doing?"

"Jiro, I want to go to bed."

He gets up and goes to the bedroom. I hear him talking quietly with the girls, but I close my eyes and just sit.

"Good night, Sanaa-san. We'll come back tomorrow and finish up. Let us know if you need anything else," says Beni, as they both cross the room to leave. Beni exits with a smile, and Risa holds open the door.

"Are you coming, Jiro-kun?" Risa asks.

"He's not going anywhere, thank you, Risa."

You're dismissed, Risa. You're not, Jiro.

Jiro smiles at me. "Should I go get something to wear to bed?"

I'm tired but not that tired.

"Don't bother. Round three awaits."

# Chapter Twenty-Six

Round three lasts well into the night but that's fine with me. I was tired, but now that I have the chance to put my hands on Jiro in any way I want, I don't want to stop. And neither does he. The time speeds by in a blur despite how tired I am. I secretly fear falling asleep and waking to find him gone — all of it a dream — but there comes a point when I can no longer keep my eyes open. We go to sleep having traced and kissed every last bit of each other's skin.

Close to dawn, I wake once and Jiro has me clasped tightly to his chest, my body lifted off the bed. I remember him saying, "Don't leave me," before he set me down, and I fell back to sleep. I don't know where he thinks I'm going because I don't plan on going anywhere.

When late morning comes and I stretch out in my new large bed, Jiro is still next to me, his face sweet and innocent in sleep. I keep thinking about how we got here. Our families are interconnected, yet before New Year's Eve, I had no memory of ever meeting him. If things had been different, we would have grown up together. Maybe our parents would have tried to match us from a young age? Maybe they did. Regardless, here he is with me.

He must sense I'm watching him because he stirs after only a minute and wakes to find me smiling at him.

"Morning. How did you sleep?"

"Hi. Well, I think." He yawns and stretches, and I snuggle into the space right under his arm. "I like your bed. It's comfortable especially with you in it."

I wrap my arms and legs around him and hug him. Gods, this makes me happy.

Jiro yawns again. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

"What did I say?"

He laughs and hugs me tighter. "Nothing much. Just a lot of mumbling. Did I snore?"

"No. Do you usually?"

"Sometimes. Depending on how much I've had to drink."

"Well, you didn't snore and are the perfect bed companion."

"Good because I don't think I'm sleeping alone anymore."

I'm not sure if I could hug him any tighter, but I want to.

"Are you happy about that?"

"Yes, very. Can't you tell?"

I lift my head and smile at him. "You do seem to be happy. There are a lot more smiles and less stern Sakai-like looks. You two are so similar."

"I've heard," he says, yawning again. "You're not the first to say so. Are you happy?"

"I am. As happy as I can be with everything going on." It's completely true. I thought yesterday I would spiral into a depression over my loss of privacy and the sheer weight of what's in store for me, but I spent the night alone with Jiro, and his presence made everything bearable. He's still here. He didn't sneak out in the middle of the night and leave me. If I can have this every night, I think I can survive.

I push myself up and away from him otherwise I'm going to be tempted to start up with him again. "Mark said he was coming over in the morning. You should probably go home and get dressed before he shows up."

"You're right." He stretches and sits up next to me, running his hands through his messy hair. Mmmm.

I already know what I want just looking at him. I do want to spend every night with him, live with him, and start our life together right now. Is that crazy? It feels completely reckless and head-strung, but he did say he wanted to stick by me. Did he really mean it?

"Jiro..." I hope I'm making the right choice. I can barely look at him I'm so nervous. "If you wanted to, you could move some of your things over here. You wouldn't have to go back and forth, and Yoichi and Miko could have the place to themselves."

Jiro reaches over and touches my hair, moving it off my right shoulder. "Are you asking me to move in?"

I hate when he and Sakai do this to me, answer my entreaties with questions. They can be frustrating, especially when I'm so nervous I could throw up.

"Only if you're going to say yes."

He leans over and kisses me on my shoulder, running his hand down my back.

"Of course, I'm going to say yes. I was going to suggest the same thing but was worried I was taking things too fast. I didn't want to scare you off..."

"As you can plainly see..." I sweep my hand over my new bedroom in my new apartment as part of my new cloistered life. "I am not going anywhere."

"True. Have Beni save me a drawer."

I smile at him and let out a deep breath. I don't want to ever doubt Jiro, but our relationship is a few months old and only recently romantic. Each time I think I may be reading him wrong, he shows me I'm not.

He gets up, and I watch him dress even though I'd like to pull him back in bed.

"Should I send Beni and Risa in to finish unpacking? They live up the hall."

"Who are they anyway?" My apartment is warm, but I pull on my undershirt and pants before taking my shower because I'd like to see Jiro to the door.

"Second cousins. Beni is on my mother's side. She's twenty-six. Risa is on Sakai's side of the family. She's twenty-three. Almost everyone who lives in this building is related somehow." He tightens up his pants and slips on his shirt as we walk to the door. "So, the big party is tonight, and I have a little treat for today before, though only after we go back to the dōjō and train. You still need to learn how to use Kazenoho."

"I love training so no complaints from me." A treat?

Jiro turns to me at the door.

"I love that you love iaido and all the sword fighting. You're not the first person I've trained and not the first woman either. Everyone else quit because I pushed them too hard."

I can't imagine Jiro training anyone else but me.

"Wusses. All of them," I say with the most serious face I can manage.

I open the door and send him across the hall laughing. I'm glad when it's the two of us, I can be playful or silly, just be myself because from now on, I'm going to have to be more commanding and decisive in front of other people. More imperial, I suppose. I'm going to have to dig deep, starting now.

I look like I rolled straight out of bed with my hair down and a mess but I turn to Usagi who is standing at the end of the hall speaking with another security guard and say, "Beni and Risa. Fifteen minutes." He nods at me and gives no indication whether he approves of my new living arrangements with Jiro. Good. It's none of his business anyway.

"Please leave the bottom two drawers empty, Beni. Move anything that doesn't fit into the closet."

"Of course, Sanaa-san."

Beni doesn't even question me. I like her. Risa, on the other hand...

"What are the drawers for?" Risa is emptying my belongings onto the shelves above my desk, and I'm inclined to ignore her. Both of these girls are older than I am, but they're in Sakai's employ and now mine. I will have to be assertive.

"Jiro is moving in later today. Please make sure you leave space for his things."

"Really? In here? With you?" she asks. I have just come from getting dressed in the bathroom and pause in brushing out my hair. Risa cocks her head to the side, scanning me up and down. She thinks I'm not good enough for Jiro. "Does Sakai-san know?"

"It's none of his business, and none of yours either. Understood?" I've been practicing my steely eyed stare of authority, and it seems to be working. Risa backs down immediately.

"Yeah, understood. It's none of my business."

Beni paused in her work but started up again once Risa apologized. Otherwise she completely ignored us. I'm keeping her.

The door chimes, and Sakai is with Usagi and no one else.

"Have you had breakfast yet? I was going to send Oyama for food." They both kick off their shoes at the door, and Sakai sets his bag on the couch while Usagi slowly walks around the room.

"Don't bother. I talked to him before I got in the shower, and he's cooking next door. Should be back soon."

Sakai's face broadens in a wide smile. "I'm glad you're already taking advantage of the staff. You're settling in nicely."

"You seem pleased."

"I am. I was a little worried in Ku 1 yesterday, but you seemed to have come around."

I think Sakai is happy I didn't throw up on him yesterday. Anything other than that is an improvement.

"Well, my mother's video convinced me. When you first told me, I thought I would run away, but no. I'm sure this is the right thing to do. It's still very hard to believe I'll be an empress." I can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea. "Wasn't I just a new engineer only a few years ago?" I shake my head in wonder. I wanted something fun and exciting to happen this year, and I got more than I bargained for. "I only hope I can do what you want."

"Of course you can," he says, sitting on my couch. "No one I know is more capable."

I sit down next to him and face him while eyeing Usagi. He is still pacing the room, examining everything.

"Whatever it is we have to do, and I have a few ideas, I want to make something clear." Be strong and assertive, Sanaa. "I want a small part of my life to be private. When I close the door, I want no questions about what happens behind it."

Sakai's eyes narrow at me, the questions already brewing. "What did you have in mind?"

"I trust you. You can always ask me anything, though I might not always answer. I've asked Jiro to move in, and he is. You said it's none of your business, but in a way, my business _is_ your business. Still, it's nobody else's."

"I see."

A long silence passes between the two of us, and I want to turn and tell Usagi to sit down already, but I stop myself.

"Sanaa, you know Jiro is next in line after me to lead Sakai clan?"

"Yes, this is why I thought I should tell you."

"I told you once that others wouldn't be happy with you aligning yourself with my clan, and I meant it. It's the main reason why your mother and I fell apart. But it's also the main reason why I will not stick my nose in your love life. I won't do to you what they did to me. Jiro knows everything?"

"He does. I told him everything. Every last thing." He nods at me. I don't think he wanted Jiro to hear all of his secrets as well, but it's too late now.

When Beni and Risa are done in the bedroom, I task them to unpack the kitchen items my aunts gave to me: a few dishes, chopsticks and silverware, some glasses and mugs, my sake set, and my coffee maker and grinds. Oyama arrives with food, and Jiro steps across the hall to join us.

While everyone is crowded around the table getting something to eat, I bring Jiro to the door panel and authorize him as another occupant to the apartment. The door palm scanner will be keyed to him as well.

"I'm so happy about this. Really." He pulls my face to him and kisses me on the forehead. "I only have a few more things to pack, and I'll bring them over after breakfast, then we can go to the dōjō." Jiro glances over at Kazenoho in the corner. "It's good we're going at a different time. Matsuda will not be around to watch you come from a different direction."

"Hmmm, Matsuda. Do you think he knows I live here now?"

"He'll figure it out eventually. There are spies everywhere."

I have that itch to sit and watch him in Ku 1 again. I've been puzzling out Matsuda in the back of my mind, and I'm still not sure what we can do about him.

"After the dōjō, the treat?" I want whatever this treat is badly.

"Yes. I've already cleared everything with Usagi," he says with a mischievous smile. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll like it.

"Sanaa and I have business to discuss. Jiro, you're to stay. Everyone else please take your food to go." Sakai directs everyone with his stone-like glare, but no one seems affected. They must all be used to his serious nature by now. Usagi files out the door with Beni and Risa right behind him. Risa glances at Jiro as she walks out, and I meet her eyes quickly before she looks away. She seems preoccupied with Jiro, I think.

"I've set aside food for you, Sanaa-san." Oyama bows to me and follows everyone. At the table, I smile down at my plate of rice, miso soup, tofu, soy salmon, seaweed, and a glass of water. Despite being fiercely independent my whole life, I love when others feed me. I will have to teach Oyama to make coffee, though. Once I get the coffee brewing, I sit down with Sakai and Jiro. They dig into their rice first.

"As I was telling Sanaa earlier, her private life is her own business, but I understand I'm to find you here in the future, Jiro."

I smile at Jiro across the table, and he laughs. "No more secrets, I guess. Yes, I'm moving in." I love that Jiro doesn't ask permission.

"I'm happy for you two," Sakai says, smiling at each of us, "and I'm sure your parents and aunts will be, too. It's a good match. Excellent even. And one both your parents hoped for a long time ago."

I feel like I've finally done something right, something my parents would be happy about. Jiro's socked feet rub up against mine under the table. Fate is truly strange and wonderful.

"Koichi, Mariko, and I were talking last night. These next few days, week maybe, will be critical. My spies tell me Matsuda still has not spilled the beans. I don't know what he's waiting for, but I doubt he'll wait much longer. At some point, you're going to have to come out to Minamoto, Taira, and Maeda and hope we can garner support from two out of three of them, if not all. Tonight will be our last private night, so enjoy it."

I'm looking forward to getting dressed up and attending Miko and Yoichi's engagement party with our families. I'm nervous for Aunt Kimie and Lomo, though. I hope all goes well for them tonight.

"Four days from now is a big event, a taiko drumming troupe will be performing at the Izumi theater. I plan on that being your 'coming out,' Sanaa, but we can talk about it later."

I gulp down some water to get the food stuck in my throat moving towards my stomach. A public appearance. My nerves are going to kill me.

# Chapter Twenty-Seven

"I thought you were going to go easy on me today?"

I'm standing, dripping sweat and panting, after a straight hour of learning more offensive moves at the hands of Jiro, The Enforcer. I'm dying. Sometimes he's absolutely relentless.

We practiced with Kazenoho and Oninoten for only twenty minutes before Jiro turned towards me with his sword out, and I broke out in a cold sweat. Maybe, if my life were in danger, I could strike and kill, but I want to keep Kazenoho as far from Jiro as I can. If I hurt him, I would never forgive myself, so we switched back to the wooden swords and continued.

"I did go easy on you because we're done." He takes my sword and his to the rack.

"What? We're done? But, it's only been an hour. We usually train for much longer, especially when you're feeling merciless."

He breaks out in a laugh. "Merciless? Me?"

"You have a devious streak a kilometer wide once you get a sword in your hands." I grab a towel and wipe myself off. I'm lucky to not be too girly some days. I can't imagine what this would be like if I wore makeup or worried about my hair.

"I'm hard on you because I care."

"Ha." I set the towel aside and stare at him again. We're living together. Wow. "So, what's this treat you have for me?"

"How about bath soaks and massages at my favorite onsen? I think we both need them."

Onsens were traditional bath houses in Old Japan, usually situated over hot springs. People would spend the entire day sitting in the springs, talking, bathing, and follow up with a light meal and drinks. Nishikyō does not have hot springs, but this is a tradition that would have been hard to give up. Instead, smaller businesses sprouted up that are a little more like the western idea of spas — hot baths with salts, massages, and restaurants with delicious food. I have never been to one, and I suppose I should have made it to one earlier since Helena works in and out of onsens.

I'm dying to go. I've never needed relaxation as badly as I do right now.

"Yes!" My shoulders fall, and I halt myself from melting into a puddle. "Oh, that sounds like the best idea." I think for a moment. "You cleared all of this with Mark? And Usagi?"

"Of course. I had the idea last night, and this morning Usagi and I arranged all the plans. The place is owned by the family anyway. Not a problem securing it. I'm having Beni meet us so she can escort you through. The onsen is not co-ed."

I'm relieved he chose Beni over Risa. Maybe I can make her a part of my life somehow?

Once we're dressed, Jiro puts his arm around me and leads me to the door. "Come on. I'll get you a private bath and a massage, and then we can have a bite to eat, go home and change before heading to Ku 7. It'll be great. Trust me."

I do. I really trust him.

Jiro knows what I need better than I do because this is shaping up to be the best afternoon I've had in a long time.

"I want you to soak for at least thirty minutes," Jiro says to me before we go our separate ways after the front desk. "In fact, don't get out until Beni comes and gets you for your massage."

Beni waits at the front desk. She has such a strict demeanor, always business, but her smile is sweet and lights up her whole face when she's happy. She pins her short hair off to the side over her ear and seems to love red lip balm. I should have her shop for makeup for me. She's wearing it, but I can hardly tell. Aunt Lomo would love her.

She leads me to my own personal bath room.

"Would you like me to stay, Sanaa-san? Or do you want to be alone?"

"Come in for a moment. I'd like to talk to you."

I love this onsen immediately. The room is dimly lit and a hot bath is already drawn in a super deep tub, sunken into the floor even deeper than an _ofuro_. I lay my bag on the padded bench inside and take off Kazenoho, placing the sword on top. The room is warm, so I take off my outer shirt as well.

My stomach is fluttering and anxious. Being assertive with someone older than you is difficult. Sakai wants me to be strong and commanding, though, so I have to suck it up and do it. I need to channel the same professionalism I did at my old job. This is just another career, Sanaa. I roll my eyes at the silent understatement.

"Beni, Jiro tells me you're his cousin."

"Hmmm, yes, though I think I'm a second cousin on his mother's side. I'd have to get a family tree to tell for sure."

The whole Sakai clan shares the same facial features. I do detect a little of Mariko in Beni.

"I like you. You minded your own business today, and that's something I value. I'd like to keep you around, close to me, if you'd take the job. A kind-of personal assistant?"

"I'd like that, Sanaa-san." She smiles, and I easily smile back.

"Do you know my secret?" I wonder how much Sakai has told each of these people following me around.

"Which one, miss?"

This doubles me over in laughter. If only Beni knew how many secrets I keep from almost everyone but my immediate family. Beni cracks a small smile at me again. I peel my pants off and hand them to Beni.

"The secret that I'm the last in the imperial line. I'm supposed to be the next empress of New Japan on Yūsei."

"Yes. Sakai-san told both Risa and me."

Sakai must have been insanely busy yesterday.

"Then you understand I need people I can trust. Can I trust you, Beni?"

"Of course, Sanaa-san. We're family now."

My heart skips a beat. It wasn't the answer I was expecting, but it's the correct answer.

"Thank you." I strip down the rest of my clothes and hand them to her. I will be as comfortable around Beni as I am with Jiro. "Please put my clothes in the auto-hamper and have them ready for me when I'm done with my massage."

Beni turns to leave but pauses at the door. "I'll be back to get you for your massage. Please relax."

I use the shower first to clean up before slipping into the hot bath. Ahhhh. The bath is so deep I can stretch out my legs under me and swish them around in the water. Steam rises from the tub, and the heat works its way into my muscles, unfurling every knot in my legs and back. I wish I could do this every day.

Not doing anything or talking to anyone is a joy, but this long soak is threatening to put me under. Maybe Jiro and I should have gotten more sleep last night. I cross my arms and place them up on the lip of the tub, resting my head on my hands and closing my eyes. I must be doing an excellent job of not thinking because I drift in and out of consciousness until there's a light knock on the door.

"Sanaa-san, time for your massage."

The massage is the best ninety minutes of my life, and I know I'm prone to exaggeration, but seriously, I need every ounce of power I have not to moan while on the table. The therapist takes care of my shoulders and back which have been suffering the most under Jiro's handiwork. While I'm lying there, I think of Helena and how she does this all the time. I wonder how close our apartments will be. She'll be moving any day now.

I sigh audibly and then laugh as the therapist rubs my feet. I'm only ticklish on my feet.

When I'm done, I change back into my clothes, and Beni leads me to a tiny restaurant on the top floor of the onsen. Jiro is already seated, and he stands up and waits for me to be seated when I arrive. The tatami mats remind me of our trip to the okiya, but low tables and floor cushions are the seating options of choice. I sit across from Jiro and smile at him while taking a sip of water. I'm so relaxed if anyone else saw me now they'd think I was drugged.

"Great, right?"

"Amazing. Just what I needed."

"I ordered us some food since I was here before you. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Thanks."

He's looking at me critically, and I'm momentarily confused. "What? Is something out of place?" I touch my hair and my face.

"No," he laughs. "No. It's just, on previous dates I've been on, if I ordered food my date got seriously offended."

"Oh. I love when other people feed me especially when I'm tired and hungry, so please don't stop on their accounts." I smile and prop my chin up on my hand. Staying upright is becoming difficult. "You ordered at the tempura restaurant too, and I didn't complain."

"I noticed."

Food arrives, and I help myself to _onigiri_ rice balls. "Don't I need to worry about having Oyama here?" I pause before putting the food in my mouth.

Jiro shakes his head and smiles. "Oyama is in the kitchen. It's taken care of. And, seriously..." He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "I'm happy you've been okay with everything. All of the extra staff and security. I thought it was going to drive you nuts."

"After seeing my mother in the video be so concerned with my safety, I had to concede."

"We all want to make sure you're safe."

I nod. Me too. I'm not ready to die yet.

"So these other women you tried training..."

Jiro laughs. "I knew you'd ask about that eventually, and it was only one girl. She was sort of a set-up but didn't last more than one session."

I can't help but chuckle, and Jiro kicks me under the table.

"Can you imagine how I felt when you walked into the dōjō?" he asks.

"I'm not a quitter," I say popping a pickle in my mouth and taking a sip of water.

"Thank gods for that." His foot sneaks up next to my leg, and I reach down and squeeze it.

He leans a little out from the table, and I turn to follow his line of sight. Beni is waiting out by the front of the restaurant, drinking tea and reading on her tablet.

"So, Beni. What do you think of her?" he asks, grabbing some rice and seaweed.

"Oh, don't worry. I already asked her to be my personal assistant. You chose right when you had her come today instead of Risa."

"Risa is... well, she's not your type."

"I hope not your type either, Jiro. Risa has a crush on you."

Jiro stiffens, his glass of water paused half-way to his mouth.

"What? You never noticed?" I squeeze his foot again to loosen him up. "I've been in her presence for less than a few hours, and I can tell right away."

He sighs and closes his eyes. "Yes, I noticed, and I keep avoiding her, but she just doesn't take the hint. I find the idea repulsive since technically we're related, but she obviously does not. And no, she's not my type. Not in the slightest."

"Well, I'm not sure what else you could do about that."

"I'm not going to do anything else. You're here now. That should be the biggest hint in the world. Anyway, even without Risa around, I still think Beni is perfect for you."

"How is it you know me so well already?" I ask, shaking my head.

"I just have to think about who I would prefer to be around all the time. We're a lot alike, Sanaa. Beni is kind and keeps to herself, and she's a brown belt in karate like you. She's a better choice for you."

"I love you." The declaration comes out of my mouth much more serious than I was intending, but the way his face softens and his shoulders fall, it was the right way to say it.

"I love you, too."

I close my eyes and capture the moment in my head until his foot slides under the crook in my leg at my knee. Take a deep breath, Sanaa, before you fall over sick with love.

"Jiro, if you hadn't had to go into the family business, what would you have liked to do? You know, like a career. Mark wanted to do farming and hydroponics, as crazy as that sounds." I had my chance to be an engineer. Designing buildings was all I wanted to do from a young age, and my dreams were taken away. I wonder what Jiro wanted.

"I love astronomy. Space flight." His eyes light up, making my heart flutter.

"Really? A man of science. I love that. I bet you're excited for the trip to Yūsei."

"It's all I've thought about since I was little. I love drawing and art, but that's just a hobby. I track the course of stars, the planets here in our solar system, and call up whatever data I can find on the colonization. I wish we had access to more." He rests his chin on his hand and looks at me. "My mother is into astrology as a hobby. I taught her how to check the positions of all the planets and zodiac constellations, so she can do her predictions and cast a person's chart." He rolls his eyes, but astrology sounds interesting. I'll have to ask her about it someday.

"That day we went up to the top of Ku 10 was not my first trip outside. Sometimes Sakai takes me up to the outdoor garden during the day when we have important business to discuss. No surveillance. I've been up one other time at night to see the stars. The night sky is the most glorious thing I have ever seen."

He closes his eyes, and I wonder how clearly he can remember the stars in his head. I think about my one and only time outside, and I want to pass out. I hope it's not like that for the rest of my life. I wish I could see the night sky and not think it was sucking me out into space.

Jiro's tablet pings in his bag, and he checks his messages with a frown.

"I have to meet with Sakai and my father before getting dressed for the party. Let's head back to our building. I left Risa with instructions to unpack all of my things in the apartment. I'm sure she's done by now."

Beni stands when we approach her. "Usagi is waiting downstairs."

Back at home, Beni follows me inside, and I take a look around. I had never been in Jiro's apartment before and now his things are in mine... our apartment. But first, I'm pulled to the new art hanging over the couch, the first drawing Jiro ever sent me, the three lanterns swaying in the wind. The illustration is even more detailed and beautiful enlarged and framed. Has he had this forever?

I stand and stare at every little line, every tiny detail, and it's so intricate that I press my fingers to my mouth to stop myself from touching it.

"It's Jiro-kun's, ne?" Beni asks, watching me.

"Yes. It's the very first drawing he ever sent me." I love the tassels on the lanterns the most. I've spent many hours studying them and imagining them in my head.

"It's a house warming gift for you, Sanaa-san. He had it ordered this morning and delivered here while Risa was unpacking."

Where does Jiro find the time to be so thoughtful? I'm sure we were not out of each other's presence for more than an hour this morning, yet, he still managed to have this taken care of too. It's nice to have staff to do the things we cannot do all on our own. I will have to remember to thank him privately for this later.

# Chapter Twenty-Eight

When Jiro comes back later, I get him to come to bed with me.

"I love the housewarming gift. It's my favorite drawing." I press his warm body close to mine and force myself to not check the clock. The time is flying, and we need to get ready, but I still can't believe he's here. We're together.

"I started a new drawing this morning I think you'll like, but it's not done yet." He kisses me, and I close my eyes and sink into the bed, enjoying his light touch on my hips. I'm drunk on too little sleep and actual physical contact with another human being. The time I spent alone in Ku 1 every morning fuzzes in my memory, the distant past, right along with my last visit to the love hotel. It's been ages since I was treated so nicely.

"When do you find the time for all of this?"

"I have boundless energy, remember?"

"You do. I'm a lucky girl."

He leans over and kisses me again, but his movement gives me a full view of the clock. 6:05pm. We're going to be late.

"Go take a cold shower," I say, pushing him out of the bed.

As soon as Jiro is in the bathroom, and I'm dressed in my white undergarment, the door chimes and Beni and Mariko are waiting to enter.

If Mariko knew what we were doing in here only ten minutes ago, I would die. She takes one look at me and smiles. Caught. I can't hide the happy glow.

"Sanaa-chan." She steps in and kisses me on the cheek. "I hear my son is living here now."

No secrets kept in this family.

"Yes, Mariko-san, he's in the shower." I try not to let my voice crack, but it does. Funny that we never bothered to consult with our families on this, but we're both too independent to have thought of asking.

Mariko turns back to me when I don't move from the door, and her hands come to my face with a smile. "Sanaa-chan, don't worry. I couldn't be happier. Both Koichi and I can't think of anything that would make us more pleased. I only wish we could plan for your engagement as well, but we understand the law. And please call me Mariko." She gives me another kiss on the cheek, and I close my eyes and lean into her warmth. I need her love and acceptance. Need it. I already miss my aunts.

"Beni and I were just talking, and she said you've made her your _jihi_." A blank look must pass over my face because Mariko laughs and puts her arm around me. "Jihi. Lady-in-waiting."

"Oh! Right. I told Beni Mark would know all these terms I'm unfamiliar with. I should have asked you."

"You can, if you like. I'm only two floors up. I'd be happy to help you with anything, dear. As it is, I'm here to see you, Jiro, and your new place before we all leave for the party."

Beni smiles and heads straight for my bedroom. I watch her go and hope the room doesn't smell like recent sex. She doesn't say anything if it does. My closet door squeaks open. She's here to help me get dressed, and though I like her, she's not Aunt Kimie.

Mariko walks farther in after removing her shoes, and her eyes immediately go to Jiro's drawing hanging over the couch. "This is one of my favorites, too."

"Hello, Mother." Jiro emerges from the bathroom shirtless but, thankfully for me, wearing pants. "Come by for a visit?"

"I wanted to find out how you and Sanaa were getting on in your new place." She walks into the kitchen and opens up each cupboard, nods and murmurs to herself about each one, and then peers in the refrigerator. "I have plenty of extra things in storage for you. I will have someone go down and bring everything up tomorrow morning. Also, Oyama should buy more food for you."

I stand and watch Mariko inventory the entire apartment. She thinks we need more towels, blankets, another chair, and another lamp as well. She is already the mother-in-law I will never have. I'm about to object when I remember a saying I heard once, " _Never look a gift horse in the mouth._ " Jiro is her baby. She will always be watching out for us. If only Aunt Kimie and Lomo would come here, too, but moving to Ku 6 meant I will have to go to them.

I'm displaced all of a sudden, like I'm living someone else's life instead of my own, and despair fills me from my feet to the crown of my head. Jiro comes over to me and puts his arms around my shoulders from behind. "No worries. She did this to Yoichi as well, but it only happens the one time."

"Oh Jiro, I feel like I don't know who I am or what I'm doing here. My life is so... confusing."

"I know. Give it time. You just need some time to get used to the changes. Then it'll feel like it's been this way forever."

When I arrive at Izakaya Tanaka, all dressed up in my dark green yukata, I'm nervous. A lot of people are in attendance. I should have known. Miko is so damned popular, and Sakai clan is so big. It makes sense they had to shut down the entire restaurant for this party.

But I'm more nervous that I haven't told either of my best friends about my life-changing experience yesterday. They will both have to find out eventually, but I don't want to steal the show from Miko at her own engagement party. Can I just tell Helena tonight and tell Miko later? I'm not sure. Miko may think I don't value her friendship if I don't tell her right away.

We took a cab to get here, and I was on and off the street in less than thirty seconds. I miss walking everywhere already, but now that I travel with Usagi, Jiro, and Beni, I stand out especially with Kazenoho. I refused to leave it behind, and Jiro didn't object since he was wearing Oninoten.

The person right inside the door (past Sakai's security staff, that is. They're stationed in the street, too) is Helena, of course. Just like New Year's Eve she has captured the attention of some interested men who love tall blondes wearing yukata. This always happens to her. She turns when the door opens and her face goes straight from elated to utter confusion.

"Good gods, Sanaa-chan, is that a sword strapped to your back?"

Jiro laughs, clasps me on the shoulder and says, "Good luck," before walking off towards Sakai on the other side of the restaurant. Grrr, I'm going to show him who's in charge later.

Helena grabs me by my arm and starts to move me away from the door and Usagi, but Usagi follows, and she glances over her shoulder twice before turning to me.

"Who's the guy?" She leans in closer to me. "He's cute. Is he available?"

This is ridiculous.

I press my lips together tightly and close my eyes. Don't laugh, Sanaa.

"Usagi?" I turn to him and put on my most diplomatic smile. "Could you give us another two meters, please?"

"Yes, miss." Usagi is dressed like the rest of the Sakai clan men in black kimono with the Sakai family crest and black hakama pants, and I suppose he is handsome. Maybe Helena likes bald men? Bald men in black?

"Do you drink?"

"I do."

"Well, might I suggest you sit right there at the bar and have one? Sono will take care of you. I'm sure I'm fine here."

A hint of a smile brightens his eyes but leaves his mouth serious. "Yes, Sanaa-san." And he makes his way to the first available bar seat closest to us.

"Tell me what's going on. This is strange."

"Helena, my entire life has been turned upside down in the course of the last twenty-four hours." I throw my hands up and nearly smack Miko in the face who was sneaking up behind me. "Miko! Shit, you scared me."

"Sanaa, are you all right? What's going on?"

Both my best friends are directly in front of me and everyone else is busy in the back of the restaurant. I have a captive audience and probably not for long, but I shouldn't dump this on Miko right now.

"Uh, no. No, it's nothing. It can wait."

"Sanaa-chan, you are the worst liar on the planet. Sit down and spill it," Miko says, gesturing to the empty table next to us.

Sighing in defeat, I wave to Helena and the bar. "Get us some sake, and I'll tell you everything."

She does, and I do. I even confess all the details about my name, my parents, the sword, the imperial lineage, the sex, and how within a day later, Jiro and I are now living together.

"Are you insane? You barely know the boy, and you've moved in together?"

"Miko." I shake my head and put my face in my hands. "I actually think Jiro is the least of my worries right now."

"How could you do that after going out on two dates with him? You've only talked to him, what? A total of ten hours?"

"Uhhh, no, actually." I twist my hands in my lap. "I left out the fact I've seen Jiro every single day for the last six weeks. It only got... physical recently. I know him really well, I think." At least I hope I do. My impulsivity is starting to seem crazy.

I have never seen Helena stunned into silence before. I'm tempted to reach over and push her chin up to close her mouth it's been open in shock for so long. Miko's eyes are so wide I'm afraid they'll pop out of her head.

"I'm going to kill him," she says. "He came in here, every night, and asked about you, and I had no idea he was seeing you on the side. And you!" She points right at me, and I shrink. "I can't believe you kept this from us."

"Please understand. I was under strict orders not to say anything, and it was eating me up. You know I'm a terrible liar. That's why I stayed away."

I'm a horrible person for all the secrets I kept from my friends, and I've dreaded this conversation for so long. Miko sighs at my pained face and pats my hand. "It's okay, Sanaa. It's okay."

I pour more sake for us all. I'm going to have to eat soon. Oyama is in the kitchen (he's easy to spot) so hopefully he's making me up a plate. He gave the bottle of sake we're both drinking right now to Sono when Helena approached the bar. Oyama is on top of things.

"And now you're an empress, you have your own sword, and Jiro, and security..." Helena looks over at Usagi again who is watching us. "He's really your bodyguard?"

"Yeah, really. He and Jiro and some other people, too." I turn my face from them to the window. I don't want to be forlorn, weary, and upset. I want to be strong and not let any of this bother me. An impossible task. "It's like a whole different life in the course of a day. How the hell am I supposed to do all of this?"

"Well, Sanaa-chan... can I still call you that?"

"Of course you can! Helena!" When I realize she's joking, I stop from crying and laugh instead. Miko leans back in her chair.

"I don't think you have much of a choice. If you want to continue living a happy life, you've got to accept it and make the best of it, ne? Isn't that what you've told me the past few years?"

All those years Helena's parents ignored her, and she wanted them to change and give her a life she dreamt about, I would sit and tell her to make her own life. I cheered her through her fast-track therapy school and pushed her to move out. Then she pushed me to flirt with Jiro and make the move on him before he slipped away. And it worked, for both of us.

"Whatever you have to do, we're here for you. Just be yourself. You can't be anyone else. They'll have to take you for who you are and deal with it, but I don't think they'll be disappointed, Sanaa. You're pretty wonderful as you are."

"She's right. Just be yourself." Miko gets up from the table and smiles weakly at me. "I have to go. Engagement party and all that."

"I'm so sorry. I wanted desperately to confide in you both, and I didn't want to tell you tonight and ruin things."

"You haven't ruined anything. I'm worried about you. This imperial business and jumping in with Jiro? I want you to be safe."

"I want to be safe, too, but think about my circumstances. The fact Jiro and I are together is a good thing. A really good thing. Please try to see that."

If I didn't have Jiro, it's quite possible I'd be alone or forced to mate with someone I didn't love for the rest of my life. I'm not even sure what I have with Jiro will last, and I shove away the tears that threaten to explode from my eyes when I imagine him getting fed up and deserting me.

"I'll try," she says, squeezing my shoulder before leaving the table.

"Don't worry about her, Sanaa. She just really missed you these last few weeks."

Hearing this, my eyes do tear up. "I've missed you both so much."

She grabs my hand and gives it a long squeeze before tugging on my arm. "I wasn't kidding about Usagi, although that's a really silly name. Seriously. He's hot. Will you introduce me?"

Oh my gods.

Laughing and crying is not a good look for me, so Helena hands me a napkin, and I smooth myself out again. Making the introductions, Usagi actually smiles and offers Helena his chair, and for a moment, I'm not the center of attention. In the back, I spot Koichi, Sakai, and Jiro near one of the private rooms; Beni and Risa; all the restaurant staff on and off shift; a few of the girls who work in the shops nearby; some of the people who grew up with us in Ku 5; Miko's extended family whom I've seen at some of her holiday parties. I'm guessing a lot of the other people are Sakai's family, and I'll meet most of them eventually.

I also realize my aunts aren't here yet, but we were right on time, and despite my long tale of woe to Helena and Miko, it is still early, and they tend to always be late. I'm glad I have a good view of the door.

Oyama leans out of the kitchen and passes a plate of appetizers to Sono who passes them to me with a confused look.

"Don't ask." I shake my head, take the plate, and make my way back to Jiro.

Though Jiro is probably talking business with Sakai and Koichi, I still grab his arm and pull him away for a minute.

"You are in big trouble later, mister." I make sure to get right up and whisper directly in his ear.

He turns to my ear. "Mmmm, talk dirty to me. That's the way I like it."

I'm beginning to suspect something about the way Jiro likes our love life to be, and I really, really like it too. Mmmm, yes. A blush creeps up my neck. His mischievous smile moves the heat straight up to my cheeks.

He clears his throat. "You come bearing gifts."

"Yes, sake and food from Oyama. Will you sit and eat with me?"

Sakai interrupts us. "Let's all sit together."

The staff arranged a long line of tables instead of the smaller ones they usually use, and we move over to sit at the end. Jiro takes the sake and food and places them on the table for me. I'm about to sit with him, Sakai, and Koichi, when the door opens again and Aunt Kimie and Lomo enter.

"Jiro, they're here."

He puts his hand on my back and gives me a little push. "Go get them."

I walk as fast as possible to the front through all of the people and tackle Aunt Kimie with a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here. I was worried for a moment."

"I'm sorry we're late, Sanaa-chan. We've been moving back to Ku 5 all day." She pulls away from me, rearranging my hair that has flown everywhere in our hug. I let her go and hug Aunt Lomo, too.

"Already? Wow, Mark is fast."

"More of his staff showed up last night after you left and started packing. It's the fastest move we've ever had, though we're keeping the storage area in Ku 9. I don't want to move all those boxes again. It can stay there until our ship leaves."

I grab one of Aunt Kimie's and one of Aunt Lomo's hands in each of mine. "Come. Everyone wants to see you."

I lead them to the table and Sakai hugs them both, my stomach unclenching and settling at the sight. I wiggle my shoulders out of my ears. They were so relaxed after the massage but tension has them in knots again. Koichi hugs Aunt Kimie and gives Aunt Lomo a kiss on the cheek. All of them together again lifts a smile to my worried face.

"Kimie, you remember my youngest son, Jiro. He was just a boy when you last saw him." This must be slightly awkward for Jiro, but his smile is gracious and warm.

Aunt Kimie steps up to him and places her hands on his face. "It's been a long, long time, Jiro. I see a lot of your mother in you." She gives him a kiss on the cheek and he closes his eyes for a moment, his shoulders sinking in relief. "He's a handsome one, Sanaa-chan. A good choice." I direct my eyes at my feet because the blush on my face is too intense to let anyone else see. "Where is Mariko?"

Koichi nods at the private room. "I'll go get them now."

He slides open the door, and the shadows on the rice paper screens dance as everyone inside gets up.

Jiro comes to my side and laces his fingers with mine. He leans over and whispers in my ear. "That went well. I think they approve?"

"Yes. Let's hope they're okay with us living together already."

He pulls me into a hug in front of everyone, and I let him, resting my head on his chest.

All of the adults are converging outside of the private room. From my hug with Jiro, I watch Aunt Kimie and Mariko hug and kiss, Aunt Lomo and Mariko, and then the congratulations start as Miko and Yoichi and Miko's parents are all entered into the mix.

Jiro rests his chin on my head, and I rub my cheek along the front of his kimono. Our families together. His family, my family, our family. I couldn't be happier.

# Chapter Twenty-Nine

Eventually Jiro and I make our way over to say congratulations to Yoichi and Miko. Miko tells me they're going to do a private ceremony at the temple in a few months — "nothing big." She wants to save every penny they have for the colonization. Makes sense to me, though she's probably dying for a huge fancy party. She shows me the ring Yoichi gave her, and I gasp. It's gorgeous.

"A family heirloom, Sanaa. Eldest child. I'm lucky."

This makes me ache a little. My mother never had a wedding ring. I've never seen one, not even on the video. Before yesterday, I always thought I would wear one someday and be married. Now this is something I'm not going to be able to do. I push away the memory of Sakai's sad and sympathetic expression when he told me. I have to be happy for Miko.

"It's really beautiful," I say with a smile, "and yes, you are lucky in many things including love."

I give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. While we're clasped together, she whispers in my ear, "Everything will be fine, even though I'm frightened for you, but I want you to be happy. Never keep a secret like that from me again."

I nod and try not to cry. Ugh. I have been doing nothing but holding back tears lately. Toughen up, Sanaa.

Jiro keeps his visit short, gives Miko a kiss on the cheek, and congratulates her. She'll be his sister-in-law soon. Crazy.

We move off to the side so everyone else can talk to Miko, and Jiro leans into my ear. "I have an idea. I'll be right back."

He makes his way over to Usagi who is still talking to Helena at the bar. Wow, their conversation is going better than I expected it to. Looking left, Aunt Kimie, Lomo, Sakai, Koichi, and Mariko are all chatting and laughing at their table. Everyone here is happy including me.

After conversing with Usagi for a minute, Jiro comes back to me with the mischievous smile on his face that he had earlier. Uh oh, what's he up to?

"We should go out to our spot for a little while. What do you say?" I can only imagine he's been consulting with Usagi on the security situation in the alley. Yes, absolutely.

Out back in our spot where we first kissed, we kiss again and again. I'm cursing this stupid yukata and obi because Jiro can't easily slip his hands in, and I can't lift his shirt and let my fingers play along his stomach and back. I wish we could just get out of here and go sleep with each other which is the only thing I want right now. I never realized how preoccupied I would become with sex once I actually enjoyed it, but it's all I can think about now.

"Sanaa?"

Jiro is trying to interrupt me, but I'm only paying attention to his neck and the way his hair smells. He pulls back from me with a laugh.

"Sanaa, I'm trying to talk to you before I do something I shouldn't do in public." He takes a deep breath, and I wait while watching him struggle with the same feelings of lust I am. It's comforting.

But he becomes serious again. "I know you can't marry..."

Oh no. Does he regret this already?

"But I'm looking at Miko and Yoichi and our family, and I'm wondering..." His voice tapers off, and my heart sinks. Taking another deep breath, he avoids eye contact with me. "I'm wondering if you still want a family even with all of this?"

"You mean, have children?"

He nods at me. "I know we're a bit young to be thinking about these things though I have several friends with kids already, and it's not like you and I have been together for a long time or anything..."

"Jiro!" I throw myself hard at his chest and wrap my arms around him and under Oninoten. "Yes. I want kids. It's crazy to think about now, but I do, even with everything they'd have to do after me. But yes. Married or not. I want a family."

I look up at him, look him right in the eyes. Those eyes can be intense or sweet, cold or warm. Now, they're bright and happy again.

"I love my small family, and I even loved my father's side of the family though they deserted me. Today, suddenly, my family is bigger than I ever thought it would be, and I just want it to get bigger and bigger. The very idea makes me insanely happy."

I rest my head on his chest and take a deep, shaky breath. All of that came spilling out of me so fast.

"Mark couldn't marry my mother nor my aunt, though he wanted to, and it destroyed them. Destroyed him. I would love to marry you, but if I can't have that then I just want to be with you."

"I'm sorry. Did I scare you? You're shaking." His hands hold my head, and through his kimono, I can hear his heart racing in his chest.

"Yes. We just moved in together, and I thought you were having second thoughts." He squeezes me and rubs my back, and I calm again.

"Sanaa." He releases our hug, and holds my face in his hands, his gaze piercing straight through me. "Once I have you, I won't want to let you go. There will be no others for me. What about you? I don't think you realize how wanted you'll be once everyone realizes what you are. They will try to use you to gain power and strength."

"I won't let them." He's talking about marriages and offspring to strengthen positions amongst the ranks, and the thought sickens me. Sakai said I could have consorts, as many as I wanted, but I only want one. I only want Jiro. "They can have anything but that. That's for you. You alone. You already have me."

I didn't hear the footsteps approaching us, but the voice that comes out of the darkness makes me freeze in fear.

"Well, well. Jiro Itō and Sanaa Griffin. Wrapped up and in love." Matsuda stands in the alley between us and the street. "I should have seen this coming what with the way you spend all that time together every afternoon."

My blood runs cold. How the hell did he get here? What about the men positioned outside and at the end of this alley? Panic mounts in me. Please don't let them be dead.

Jiro ever so slightly moves me behind him. Matsuda has a katana strapped to his back. I'm glad we both have our swords as well.

"What do you want, Matsuda?" Jiro's voice is ice.

"I came to check on the happy couple. Your brother is getting married? _Omedetai koto desu na._ "

This is obviously the biggest lie either of us have ever heard, and we stay silent. He's been waiting for us, hoping for this opportunity.

"Figured out your little secret, eh, Sanaa? Is that Kazenoho?"

Jiro wants me to stay behind him, to protect me, but I can't let this carry on. Matsuda knows. He's going to tell someone.

"Would you like me to draw the sword so you can see it? It will not return to its sheath unbloodied, though."

Matsuda laughs, cold and heavy. "Jiro, got yourself a new student, eh? This one seems to be doing well. Have you taught her all I taught you?"

What's this? I _knew_ Koichi didn't train Jiro. Another secret hidden from me.

"And more." Jiro's voice is prideful, his chest puffed up. "What are you doing here?"

My mouth is dry, my heart beating wildly, but I still move farther out from behind Jiro. If I'm going to draw Kazenoho, I need the space. "I want to see Sanaa Griffin for myself, the future Empress of our people. Let me get a good look at you." He reaches out to touch my chin, and I immediately block him with my left elbow. Jiro's hand flies to Oninoten at his shoulder, and Matsuda takes a step back with his hands up. He laughs again, and I roll my eyes. Who does he think he is?

"It would be best to look at me from a distance. I can't guarantee Jiro won't cut you down where you stand if you try and touch me again."

"The only other person who has ever spoken to me that way was your father." He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at me. "You don't look a thing like him, though."

"It's those strong Asian genes. What do you want?"

"Business, na? Well, I thought I had done away with you, your mother, your _family_ ," he says with disgust, and I have to stop myself from lashing out with a kick to his groin, "but apparently I was wrong. You live and breathe right in front of me."

"How unfortunate for you," I say. Jiro is quiet. I wonder what he's thinking. Be a hardass, Sanaa. "And what will you do with this information?" I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. He didn't come here to kidnap or kill me. Not today. He wants something.

"Minamoto, Taira, Maeda. Who will pay the highest price for your life?"

The nervous energy I have is boiling over, causing my foot to tap. I wait. Matsuda loves drama, and he's dragging this out.

"Minamoto wants you for himself. Taira wants you dead, as I suspect Maeda does."

"How much?"

" _Nani?_ What?"

Ah, I've caught him off-guard. A lucky break.

"This is a negotiation, right? You tell me how much money or whatever it is you want, and I buy you for myself." Why didn't this occur to me before? If I want Matsuda anywhere, it's in my own pocket, where I can watch him and control him until I kill him.

His face twists, and his eyes fill with hate. I've made it sound like he's a prostitute for hire instead of a _ronin_ , a masterless samurai, but if he thinks I'll respect him he's got another thing coming.

"Name. Your. Price." I'm so glad I spent all that time watching him. This is a man who values the good things money brings him: the love hotels, the okiya visits, the high priced dinners, the casino debts.

"Hmmm, I'll consider this change in events and get back to you." He tilts his head so his hair no longer falls over his eyes and examines me. "To be honest, I expected to come here and find you begging for your life. It's always much easier to hand over the weak ones to the highest bidder, but..." His voice trails off and he licks his bottom lip. "Jiro, she's a fine one."

I can actually sense Jiro's body clench next to me though we have almost a meter between us.

"You should leave before my hand starts to get twitchy."

Matsuda is already backing away from us, not even watching the end of the alley. Where is the man I saw there two hours ago? Neither Jiro nor I move until Matsuda's gone.

"Where did that come from?" Jiro's voice is awed and his eyes wide. "I didn't expect you to negotiate with him."

"What? It's called 'thinking on your feet.'" I can't even believe I did it. I was possessed, a hell of a lot more confident than I have ever been in my life. "I couldn't let the opportunity go."

Jiro laughs in disbelief. "I think you're better cut out for this job than you ever expected to be." He puts his hand on the small of my back and directs me to the door. "We have to go inside and talk to Sakai-san. Now."

We slip in the back door, and Jiro immediately ushers me to a private room, but I wait at the door while he goes to Sakai and Koichi at the table. He whispers in their ears, and they jump up and make their way towards me. Jiro then walks straight to Usagi and the security staff at the front, and they all head outside before Sakai pushes me back into the private room.

"What happened? Tell me everything." Sakai is urgent and awaiting my response, but the gravity of what just occurred outside creeps up on my brain, and I'm frozen.

"Uhhh." My eyes won't focus. My lungs won't breathe.

"Oh no, she's in shock," Koichi says as he lunges forward and grabs me by the shoulders before I fall over. With his arms around me, he lowers me down to sit at the sunken table. "Breathe, Sanaa, before you faint."

His panicked voice brings me back, and I suck in a low, shuddering breath before leaning over and putting my head between my knees.

I can't do this! I can't! Run away, Sanaa!

"Sanaa, focus and breathe," Koichi urges me, squeezing my shoulders hard.

Wait, I can do this. Breathe in and out. In and out. I bring my head up and press down on my eyes forcing them back into focus.

"We were outside talking, and Matsuda approached us from the end of the alley. He saw Kazenoho and realized I knew my secret now. He... my gods, he _admitted_ he killed my parents, _tried_ to kill me."

My chest is heaving. I've never been so angry, so livid in my entire life. Koichi is still holding my shoulders, giving me an anchor, so I don't float away on a current of hysteria. I don't know him as well as Sakai, but he's a part of my family now too.

"My parents! That bastard... That bastard is going to pay." I'm breathing too much now.

"You're going to hyperventilate if you don't calm down." Koichi smooths down my hair, his thumb swiping cold sweat from my temple. Sakai stands over me, his face a passive mask. He's regretting ever letting me out of his sight.

"Mark, he wants to sell his information to the highest bidder. I threw our hat in the ring, asked him his price. He didn't expect it." I shake my head. "I don't know what he expected coming here. I think he just wants me, dead or alive." The way Matsuda looked at me makes me sick. I don't think it'll be the last time.

Jiro and Usagi enter the room.

"Three men unconscious. I found them tied up two alleys over. I think they were drugged," Jiro reports.

Usagi bows to Sakai. "Mōshiwake gozaimasen, Sakai-san. It's my fault Sanaa-san came in danger. Please do with me as you will."

Sakai turns to me. Is he consulting me on Usagi's punishment? Usagi is bent at the waist, not rising. Nothing is his fault.

"Don't be ridiculous." I push back my hair into some semblance of order and wipe off my forehead with the back of my hand. "I was completely safe in the izakaya. It's my fault we went outside, even if it was out back, and we thought the alley was secure." Will I never have private time with Jiro outside of our apartment? "Go check on the men and the perimeter, and let's think of how we can avoid something like this in the future."

"But Sanaa-san?" He rises and looks at me and Sakai, but Sakai shrugs and gestures to me. Way to hand off the duties, Sakai. He wants to make me into a leader, starting now.

"Don't argue with me. We were fine. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. The situation was just unexpected." Standing up, I straighten out my yukata and go directly to him. "I will hear nothing more about this. I trust you, and Matsuda is... well, he's unpredictable. Let's be unpredictable as well."

Koichi, Sakai, and Jiro stand speechless as I push Usagi out of the room. I close the rice paper screen almost all the way so they can't eavesdrop when I bend forward and whisper in Usagi's ear, "And Helena thinks you're hot, so you're not going anywhere." I slide the door completely closed on his shocked face.

# Chapter Thirty

I wake up the next morning alone in bed. I vaguely remember Jiro getting up a few hours ago, kissing me on the forehead, and leaving, but the memory is blurred by my sleep hangover. Rolling over to look at the clock (it's already 10:00), I get a better view of my bedroom with the light filtering in from the living area. When we came home last night, I wasn't paying attention to all of Jiro's things here, just to Jiro.

Next to all of my items on the desk are a shodō brush, ink set and a pile of paper, a metal bell, a fan, a small stuffed animal (a bunny, kawaii!), and a framed photo of him and Yoichi from when they were younger. Pulling on my clothes, I step out of bed and flip through the pile of paper. Jiro has been practicing writing sutras. His handwriting is lovely, so beautiful and precise. The one on top is the lotus sutra I think, but it's been a long time since I last read the poem.

I yawn and stretch, and something out of place catches my eye on the shelf. Over next to my omikuji from New Year's Eve is now Jiro's. Renai, a blessing in love. I remember him saying, "Maybe I'll get lucky this year," and tucking the slip of paper into his kimono. He saved it, too. Gods, that's sweet.

In the kitchen, Jiro sits at the table, reading on his tablet, and drinking hot tea from one of my mugs. He's already showered and dressed.

"Morning, love," he says, putting the tablet down. "Good timing. I made you coffee only about half an hour ago."

"You made me coffee? Looks like I only have to teach Oyama."

"Yeah, I'm the early riser in the family. Yoichi drinks coffee. I always made it for him."

I go straight to the coffeemaker and pour myself a cup. It's strong and dark, just the way I like it. If he had made me weak coffee, we would have been through.

"I hope you like it strong."

"Yes. It's perfect." I let my sleepy face hover over the mug for a minute before taking a sip.

He pulls out the other chair at the table for me, and I sit down but prop my feet up on his lap. "How long have you been up?"

"Since seven. I went next door to talk to Usagi for a bit, and Oyama dropped off food, too." His hands go to my feet when I remember I'm only ticklish there. I try to pull them away, but it's too late. I start laughing and quickly put down my coffee before I'm doubled over with giggles.

"Oh! Oh! I've found your ticklish spot." He holds my left foot with an iron grip, and I laugh and kick him with my right.

"Stop!" A swift kick lands straight on his shoulder, and he bumps into the table, jostling our mugs, and both his hands let go to prevent them from falling over. I snatch back my feet, but we're still laughing. I have a strong desire to roughhouse with him right now, even though he's much stronger than me. We don't have the time for play. Jiro let me sleep in late.

Still chuckling, he hands me my coffee. "I wonder what Oyama and Usagi think of all the noise we make over here." His eyebrows rise up.

"Don't care. Let them think whatever they like. They're not going to question me. In fact, I bet they prefer us this way." I take a few sips and straighten out my hair.

"I love that about you. You're wild, and you don't care what anyone else thinks."

"Well, I do care what _you_ think." I set my coffee down and stare down at my hands. "Does it bother you I tell you what to do... in there?" I wave my hand at the bedroom.

"Are you joking?" he asks with a laugh, but when I look up at him, the stress clear upon my face, he becomes serious. "No, it doesn't bother me. It's completely and utterly hot."

A blush blooms on my neck. "Really? Chad hated when I told him what to do. He preferred me silent."

"Sanaa, please don't mention him again." Jiro's hands clench into fists. Shit. He's jealous. "I realize he was a recent... lover," he growls, "but I can't hear about him."

"There was no love." Joshua didn't love me, and Chad admired me. Nothing more.

"Okay," he says, unclenching his fists. "Well, I like wild. Wild _and_ crazy. I love them." He reaches out for his tablet, our previous conversation put to rest quickly. "Speaking of which, I have something for you. I've been looking at images of chrysanthemums, mainly the wild, _nogiku_ , variety. I think this would make the perfect tattoo for you."

He hands me the tablet and stands up behind me to look over my shoulder.

These are not the chrysanthemums I had seen photos of once Sakai told me what kiku were. Each flower is wispy with long thin petals that curve up from the center, falling in waves from the inner, smaller curled petals to the outer longer, relaxed ones. They are so elegant. Jiro's painstaking attention to detail makes every petal necessary.

"They're beautiful. Nogiku." I want to run my fingers over the lines, but that just doesn't work on a tablet screen.

He moves my hair and traces with his finger a long section along my upper back, skirting the tops of my shoulders and neck. "Here. Quite large for your first tattoo but minimal color, I think."

"Green and a little purple," I say with a smile. "When?" I turn and hand him back his tablet.

"As soon as you'd like. I'll forward the sketch to Manami now. She's quick."

"Tomorrow?" I stand up and wrap my arms around him while he tries to type around me. I'm difficult.

"Sure. I bet she could fit you in. She's done everyone's in the family. You should see Beni's."

The tattoos, they remind me of all of my time spent in Ku 1, how it was all a lie, but a lie to get me to the truth. That Sakai. He tempted me with the promise of knowledge and the revelation of secrets, and I watched and learned for months with no clear purpose or objective. I did the job because I trusted him. I followed these people, now my adversaries: where they went, what they ate, who they spent time with. I probably know them better than they know themselves. Now, thinking of the tattoos, the tattoo parlors, and the men and women I watched come and go from there, I'm sure the negotiation tactic I pulled with Matsuda is not going to last. Letting us buy him off would be no fun for him. And _that_ reminds me...

"Jiro..." I still have my arms around him, my cheek against his chest.

"What?" He sets down his tablet and plays with my hair.

"We talked about a lot last night, but we neglected something... Something you haven't told me yet." His hands stop. "Your father didn't train you in sword fighting. I've always suspected. I could tell by the way you two fight — your styles are so different — but I didn't know who did until last night. Matsuda, ne?"

I squeeze him a little bit tighter even though he is frozen and his body tense.

"Jiro? No secrets between us, remember? Just tell me." Should I feel guilty for making him tell me everything? Maybe he wants to keep some things to himself. Everyone keeps secrets, but I can't do this job they want me to do if I'm not completely informed.

"I can't." I pull back from him and want to ask him why, but he shakes his head at me. "I can't because it's not my secret to tell, but," he sighs, "you should know, of course. You should know everything. Get showered and dressed. I let you sleep late because you've been so tired lately, but we have things to do today. I'll take you and some food up to my mother's apartment, and she can tell you everything."

"Mmmm, Oyama. Sanaa-chan, you are one lucky woman. Oyama is the best dokumiyaku and chef in all of Nishikyō."

Jiro and Usagi dropped me off at Mariko and Koichi's apartment with a bag full of food and the promise they would be back in an hour and a half to bring me home. I will probably spend the rest of my life in this building, or at least until I'm shuttled off to Yūsei where they will erect another building to contain me for the rest of my life. Sigh.

Mariko lays out a plate of food for me: green salad with a bright orange carrot dressing, dumplings, and a fried tofu dish with fresh broccoli. We sit down at the table and dig into our meals.

Visiting Mariko in her apartment is interesting. Her space is impeccably clean, tidy, and beautifully decorated. Artwork hangs on the walls, mainly paintings, and I wonder how much of it is hers. Jiro's drawings are here, too; his style is so distinct. I'm going to look at them properly when I'm done eating.

"You thought maybe you'd buy off Tadao Matsuda? Sounds like a gutsy move," Mariko says, smoothing out the front of her Nishikyō grays as she sits across from me.

"I'd rather keep my eye on him than have him working for any of the other clans, don't you think?"

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer." Mariko smiles, and we both try the dumplings. Delicious.

Mariko is quiet, but I'm learning she's super bright and sharp. As the matriarch of the entire Sakai family, she has many responsibilities and people to care for. I'm sure if Sakai had ever married, his wife would have done a lot of the same things. The division of duties here is still strong despite women and men being equal in Nishikyō. Like the New Year's Eve traditions, there are others that never die.

"Well, I regret to tell you there's history between us and Tadao," Mariko says. "I believe when I last saw him Koichi told him he'd slice his heart out if Tadao ever got near us again."

Yikes. Must have been bad.

"Koichi and Tadao were boyhood friends. He worked for Sakai family for most of his life. They were schoolmates, and we were all connected until about eight years ago when Tadao decided to go out on his own instead of working for our family."

"Why did he decide to leave? That was around the time he married Emiko, right?"

"Yes, I never expected him to marry ever. He's so cold and detached. Who would want him? I certainly didn't."

"Oh no. You mean he..."

"He was in love with me forever. I can't tell you how many times I refused him, and he kept trying and trying. Even after marrying Koichi and having two children. The man just does not give up."

This conversation is not boding well for my future. If Matsuda is this persistent, he will not rest until I'm dead or in the hands of someone who wants me dead. I've already pissed him off by being alive.

"He revealed last night he trained Jiro in sword fighting." I've hit a wall with eating, anxiety making my stomach shrink to the size of a grain of rice.

"Jiro is very talented, and I'm not just saying that because I'm his mother." She smiles at me. "He advanced so fast. Outgrew everything Koichi could teach him. Tadao is a master at fighting — read every book, trained with every master — and when that wasn't enough, he figured it out for himself. Tadao offered to train Jiro, and, at first, they were a good match."

She sets down her chopsticks and dabs at her mouth with a napkin. "Jiro is so kind and good — good to the core. He can be stern and commanding, much like Mark." I nod. I've seen it with my own eyes. "But he has a soft heart, very loving. Nothing at all like Tadao. They clashed often."

"What happened? Something must have happened."

"Eight years ago was the last time Tadao tried to proposition me. When I told him 'no' for the billionth time, he lashed out and hit me. I was never so angry in my entire life. I'm good at defending myself — most of the women in this family are — but he was lightning fast. Jiro confronted him, and they fought. I think it was the first time Jiro had ever drawn his sword against another person, but Jiro surprised him. It's a good thing for Tadao, bad for us, his leg healed after that. Jiro was aiming for the femoral artery."

The blood in my head is slowly moving south. "Jiro actually tried to kill him?"

"Yes, Sanaa-chan," she says with surprise. "Of course. Tadao was close to the family, but he was, still is, suspected in the murders of several people. Jiro would have been doing everyone a favor."

"But wait... wait... Jiro was only fourteen." Fourteen years old and already such a good fighter he could have killed Matsuda. If I couldn't close my eyes and imagine his smiling face, remember his warm hands on my body, or his playful laugh, I would be sick with fear. It says something about me too that I love him even more now.

The blood must be back in my head because the blush returns. Mariko is watching me with a slow smile forming.

"You must get better at hiding your feelings if you're going to do this job. Your face went straight from fear to love in the span of five seconds." She smiles and shakes her head a few times. "Wow, Jiro's last girlfriend wasn't even half the woman you are, and I realize now how stupid Koichi and I were to try to set him up with other girls after her. I'm glad they all didn't work out."

My blush response is threatening to turn my face to ash, but I do my best to think cool, calming thoughts and keep it away. "Me, too."

I pick up my chopsticks again, my appetite returning, and remember something I had been meaning to ask Mariko about.

"Now, Mariko, you're going to teach me your secret to Rock Paper Scissors. I must know and will not leave until you do."

# Chapter Thirty-One

"You're not scared of me?" Jiro asks in disbelief. "I spent the last hour and a half sweating and wondering what you were thinking."

"Lay down on the bed and be silent for a bit."

He does as I instruct, and I lie down on top of him, turning my ear to his chest and listening to his heartbeat. This is the heart of a sweet, compassionate, intense, powerful person, and I'm not frightened by him. I love him. Slipping my hands over his on the bed, I press him down harder until he feels so real, I'll never be rid of the sensation. He's solid and constant, living with me, not just an affair I'll have once a month. Not fake. Not imaginary. Not a daydream.

Relief washes over me, and I let my hands slip from on top of his, my body relaxing.

"No, I'm not afraid of you. If anything, I love you even more now."

Jiro squeezes me. "I love you, too. I especially love when you pin me down and take control."

His body and mine shake in giggles, and I sit up and smack him on the chest. "Watch out or I'll do it more often."

"Try me."

Hmmm, tempting, especially when he's gazing so intently at me like this, and my heart is beating with excitement. Is this how it's going to be with us? Fun and thrilling and loving and a little dangerous at all times?

He grabs my shirt and tugs. "Come on. Show me who's boss."

I lick my dry lips and think, what should I go for first? His arms? His chest? But then the door chimes, and Jiro falls back on the bed with a grunt and a sigh. "Just when things were getting good."

I twist up my hair, straighten myself out, and find Sakai and Usagi waiting in the hallway. I'm glad Jiro and I are the only people authorized to this apartment.

"Koichi and I have been talking about this all morning," he says, coming straight in with no greeting. Hello, Sakai. Nice to see you too. "We think Matsuda is too much of a wild card to trust right now. We've called a meeting of all three heads of the clans, and we're going to out ourselves to them. Tonight." He stops at the couch, but I'm frozen by the door, overcome with situational whiplash. Events change quickly around here.

"What?" Jiro and I ask at the same time. Usagi remains silent.

"You heard me. Tonight, as in..." He looks at the wall clock. The time is 2:15 now. "Five hours and fifteen minutes from now. Do whatever you need to do to get ready for this. We're meeting in the general assembly room on the first floor of the Ame Okiya, and Usagi will brief you on all the exits and escape routes."

"I have everything set, Sakai-san." Usagi gestures to the tablet in his hand.

"Sanaa, how do you want to do this?"

"What? What do you mean how do I want to do this? You don't have a plan?" Panic. I'm panicking and spurred into pacing the room, back and forth. "Aren't I a little under-qualified for this sort of thing?"

"I spoke with Jiro about what happened last night in the alley," Sakai says, and my head snaps to Jiro. Jiro quickly looks at the ceiling. I narrow my eyes at him. "He said you were quick to think on your feet and performed well under pressure. I thought you might want to go into this meeting with no real plan and see what happens."

"Are you serious?" My voice cracks, and Jiro winces. Wait! Deep breath. He may have an idea here. I do work better when I go in and fly by the seat of my pants. Just a little forethought, that's all.

"Okay. This is what we do."

We stride into the Ame Okiya eight people deep. Sakai and Koichi followed by a guard in front, Jiro and me together, and Usagi brings up the rear with two other men. Paper screens are moved aside for us, but no one dares to speak or direct us. Without being asked to we kick off our sandals at the door and not bother to put any of them away. Two okiya staff members scramble in our wake to line them up as we walk down the hallway.

I have the escape routes mapped out in my head, and Kazenoho on my back. Actually, everyone but Sakai and Koichi carry weapons. I wonder if Sakai has ever held a katana. He must have. I can imagine one in his hand. It's not a stretch.

As we approach the okiya meeting room, a rush of adrenaline comes coursing into my veins with every heartbeat. I take a deep breath and smooth out the front of my butter yellow kimono, glancing at Sakai, Koichi, and Jiro all next to me. I hope I don't regret anything I say tonight. I'm usually pretty good about holding my tongue, but I cannot be held accountable when there is this much anxiety in me, addling my brain and causing my stomach to clench. I spent most of the afternoon pacing the apartment.

We stop and form up outside of the last screen door to the meeting room, and two okiya staff members slide them open for us. Sakai and Koichi are blocking my view but they immediately walk in and to the right. I enter forward and stand at the table, Jiro beside me. Several men on the other side sit seiza. They all distanced themselves from each other, and I smile lightly. When was the last time Yoshinori Minamoto, Tomio Miura, and Noburo Maeda were in the same room together? Probably never.

I let everyone file into the room and sit seiza first before I take the center position — Jiro at my left, Sakai and Koichi to my right, Usagi at my back. I look at each of these men in the eye as dispassionately as I can. I've watched them for so long, and now they are in front of me. Don't blow it, Sanaa.

I'm not surprised Matsuda is hanging back behind Miura. His eyes are steady on me behind the hair falling over his face, no doubt thinking of our meeting last night. Things are not going according to his plan. He leans forward to whisper in Miura's ear. Surprise hits Miura's face, and he is about to speak out and try to get the first word in. Not happening.

"You would do best to listen to Sakai-san before you make a very... big... mistake." The words are out of my mouth before I can even check myself.

Sakai lightly clears his throat.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice. I know scheduling is difficult when we all have important business to attend to." He stops to bow. You're so diplomatic, Sakai.

"We are less than a year away from the launch of our first ship to Yūsei, and it's time you heard the truth."

Maeda huffs. "The truth of what, Sakai? Who is this little girl?"

"This little girl," I say, meeting his cold, hard glare, "is your empress. You will not refer to me in such a manner again." I may be a small, twenty year old girl, but I can command a man now. I need to believe I'm in control, even if I feel very far from it. Maeda will not respect me if I don't command respect. "If you know what's best for you, you will bow to me now."

Minamoto, the smartest of the bunch, is already making his way to the floor, forehead touched to the tatami.

Koichi whistles low. "I'd bow if I were you. Sanaa does not take kindly to this sort of insubordination."

I take the index finger of my right hand and point it directly at Maeda, moving it slowly to the mat. A small evil smile comes over my face as Miura and Matsuda bow. Maeda is the last to touch his forehead to the mat, and I will not forget it. I have a limited amount of time to gain this man's respect before he tries to kill me because I just insulted his status in front of everyone. I better give a lot of thought as to how to win him over.

"Thank you, gentleman. I am Sanaa Itami, last in the Kiku line, and rightful heir to the Chrysanthemum Throne." Sakai eyes me out of my peripheral vision. I had been thinking about my name in the back of my head since I found out the truth of my family. I love my first name, but I want to carry my mother's name now. Griffin doesn't sound right to me anymore.

"If you need proof, we will provide it. I am not as dead as you once thought I was. My mother, Junko Itami, was prepared to take the throne, and, in her absence, it is my duty to unite us all on Yūsei. Before colonization, I will ask each of you to support me in my rule of New Japan. I am prepared to take us there together, as one nation, and I will not tolerate war amongst the clans or against non-Japanese. We must work together or all hope will be lost."

Miura is the first to interrupt. "What makes you think..."

I raise my hand to silence him, and Jiro jerks his hand to Oninoten. The motion is not lost on Miura. He settles back on his feet and Jiro relaxes.

"I'm supported by Sakai clan currently. I'm giving each of you five days to think this over carefully. You will either support me along with Sakai or you will be against me. Let there be no ambiguity in this. I will consider your lives forfeit if you do not support me. I have the best wishes of Nishikyō and Yūsei at heart. You will concede if you want what's best for your people."

I turn to Sakai and nod my head. He looks at each of them. "Minamoto, Miura, and Maeda, you will deliver your answers to me within five days."

"If you have business with me, you take it up with Sakai-san. No one else but him speaks for me. Understood?"

They all nod to me.

"Very well." I rise to go and am happy each man bows immediately as I stand. The doors open, and I walk out with everyone at my rear.

That's how I like it. Short, sweet, and to the point. Now we wait.

# Chapter Thirty-Two

I'm plagued by nightmares all night long. It's the first time I ever dream of the colonization. I'm on a ship, backed into a corner by Miura, his sword held high, and I have nothing to defend myself. A door closes, and the air in the room is sucked out around me. Stars. It's night, and I'm in a field of tall grass that sways and swirls at my feet, alive. I try to move and get out but the grass claws at my clothes, pulling me and pushing me so I can't run anywhere, can't lift my feet, can't move. I strip off my pants and shirt so the grass has nothing to hold on to, but it climbs up my skin. I scream but my voice is silent.

"Sanaa, wake up."

"No, no! Get it off of me. Get it off!" I jump up out of bed, sweating and panting but unable to see anything in the pitch black.

It takes a moment to properly wake up and realize I'm out of bed in my apartment, Jiro's profile lit by the numbers from the clock face, and not being dragged to my death by living grass.

"Come back to bed, love," Jiro says, his arm extended out for me. "It was just a dream."

I stand and blink my eyes at the bed a few times to make sure nothing is there, nothing but Jiro. I climb back in bed next to him half asleep.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Jiro asks as he puts his arm around me. Looking at the clock, the time is 3:35.

I shake my head. "No. I just remember grass. That's it." I blow out a deep breath. "I haven't had nightmares in weeks. Sorry. Sorry I woke you."

"It's fine. I doubt you'll remember anything in the morning."

I'll be thankful for that. I'm becoming increasingly afraid of what's going to happen to me in the colonization. Too many things could go wrong.

"Jiro, what scares you? It seems like nothing does." I pull at his shirt and let the fabric snap back against his body.

"Of course I get scared." He hugs me, yawning at the same time. "What scares me most is losing my family, losing the people I love. So when I do family business and I'm close to drawing my sword to defend myself, you, or anyone else, the first thing I think about is losing the fight and how I can't, but I set the fear aside and not let it control me."

I've got to figure out how to make it easy for me, as well. Right now, I try to control my fear in so many different ways: physical exercising, pacing, talking, hmmm, yes, even sex. I should pick something and stick with it.

Jiro swipes away the hair on my neck and kisses me there. "With time, you can get better at managing fear. The fear you can control, at least. We'll have to work on the other things."

Someday he's going to make me go back outside again. I'm not looking forward to it.

6:45am and I can't fall back to sleep. Even lying here listening to Jiro's rhythmic breathing, all I can think about is the meeting we had last night, and the pros and cons list I've been making in my head for and against running away from all of this nonsense. I need to get up and get the day started. I'll nap later.

While I'm standing in the kitchen in my pajamas measuring coffee grounds, the door softly chimes and the read-out says it's Mark Sakai. He's up early, too.

I open the door to let him in, and he's the most dressed down I've ever seen him, black t-shirt and gray pants. My eyes are immediately drawn to his neck and upper arms, the glimpse of the tattoos I've been waiting to see for months. The edge of a traditional samurai warrior design? I want to order him to take off his shirt right now, and the thought makes me giggle.

"Morning, Sanaa-chan. What's so funny?"

"Nothing," I say, smiling and shaking my head.

"I received news this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Can I come in?"

"Of course. I'm making coffee. Do you want some tea? Jiro has some."

"Is he awake?"

"No. Not yet." I let him in and close the door.

"Yes, tea sounds good."

He watches me while he sits down at the kitchen table. "Up late?"

"No, actually. We went to bed early after the meeting. Well, after some sake. Just a rough night of sleep." Jiro and I decided to sit and play drinking games last night, and we had a lot of fun. We were loud and obnoxious, though. It's a good thing neither of my neighbors are going to complain.

"Did you walk over here like that?" I point to his shirt. Only his hair is put together. I wonder if he ever takes it out of his ponytail.

"Sanaa," he says with a laugh, "I don't think you realize I live three floors above you in the penthouse."

"Really? Oh, sorry. I never thought to ask where you live." He must think I'm the biggest, most insensitive jerk right now. I've often wondered where he sleeps at night, what his place looks like, what he does when he's not with me. He does have a whole other life outside of what we do every day, but I never wanted to pry.

I pour hot water from the electric kettle for him and put the canister of tea bags on the table so he can choose.

"This building is home base for everyone in my clan. Basically, everything in a five block radius on either side of here is Sakai territory. Nobody comes within a block of this building unless they're being watched by our security. The Itō dōjō is barely on the outskirts of our territory which is why Matsuda often spies on you without getting caught... though not anymore. You didn't know this?"

"No," I say, sitting down with my cup of coffee. "I've been concentrating on other things. I honestly spent my time in Ku 1 watching who you told me to. I gave Sakai clan a wide berth. Did you say you have news?"

"This morning at 5:00..." He sighs and rubs his face. "I swear they interrupt my sleep on purpose to throw me off. Anyway, all three heads are demanding proof of your lineage so that's a good sign. If they had just denied your birthright then we'd be back to square one."

"What did you do? I told them we could provide proof, but I had no idea what the proof was."

"DNA and medical records, of course. I had them all archived when you were little and the new ones created in their place. I sent both over to them, and it's enough to prove it."

It's begun. Soon, they will be plotting.

"I think we'll hear something right away — within twenty-four hours. There's no way they're going to drag this out. One of them will act fast before the other one can, but our plans remain in effect."

"The concert tomorrow?"

"Yes. No one but family knows you'll be there until you arrive. But once you're at the concert, word will spread. I hear you've taken Beni as your jihi," he says with an ironic smile. The way one side of his face is more elevated than the other, I can tell he's amused.

"Are you making fun of me?" But I'm not mad at him, I'm laughing, too. "I know it's ridiculous, but I've never had a staff before. I thought it might be nice to have help since it's what's expected of me anyway."

"No no. Beni is a good choice. I... I didn't know what to expect when I finally got you here. I didn't watch you grow up except to follow your schooling and work. I only knew your mother and Kimie and how they were. I wasn't sure how you were going to handle any of this."

"I watched that video of my mother, and the only word that popped into my brain was 'accept.' Then I talked to Helena and her advice stuck. I have to accept what happened to me, what's going to happen to me, and accept what you have to offer that will keep me alive. My mother made my duty absolutely clear, but I want to do things my way, on my terms. So I'm taking what I can."

"That frightens me a little," he says with a chuckle.

"It should!" A loud laugh escapes my mouth, and I clamp my hand down over my lips quickly. I'm going to wake Jiro if I'm not careful.

"Do you remember the afternoon we spent in Ku 8 together?"

I nod my head. Remember it? I'll never forget it.

"We walked through the artifacts section and the scientists working on the genomes. Then we got to spend time with all those wonderful animals." A smile breaches the confines of his somber face. "I saw your face when you put on the hazmat suit and when we were on our tour. You know how important it is to continue that work here and on Yūsei."

I nod again.

"We have to keep our eyes on the goal," he continues. "The goal is to keep the peace amongst us so we can concentrate on rebuilding all we've lost. Let's never forget that."

The bedroom door opens, and Jiro emerges with a yawn.

"Morning, Sakai. I was wondering who Sanaa was out here laughing at."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." I laugh again, this time at myself for being so happy amidst all this crazy drama. I should probably be more afraid for my life right now, but I'm not.

Jiro walks over and pats the top of my head. "You're so loud, Sanaa. I swear you could wake the dead."

We spent all last night joking around, and I really love Jiro's sense of humor. He certainly can make me laugh.

Sakai stands up. "I'm going to go home now and go back to sleep."

"No. Stay for breakfast. I'll call Oyama and have him cook something up."

He looks at each of us. "No, that's okay. I'll leave you two alone," he says with a smile. At the door, he stops and turns around. "Sanaa-chan, I hear you have a tattoo appointment for later today. Please say hello to Manami for me."

I have many fears these days but fear of needles isn't one of them. Jiro introduces me to Manami, and she is super sweet, if a little on the wild side. Her chin length hair has a bright blue streak, and she's covered with the most colorful tattoos I have ever seen. She's a bit surprised that for my first tattoo I want something so large, but she's also happy to accommodate me once Jiro starts talking about me. I'm doing my best to put all thought of duties and negotiations aside so I can enjoy this, my first tattoo.

While she and Jiro go over his initial illustrations and her interpretations, I sit with Beni and flip through the photos of Manami's work. Jiro has been coming to her for years, and I find photos of his upper back and shoulders in her collection. Whenever I get to one of him, I tip the tablet to him, and he nods. I think he's a little embarrassed by the attention.

"Beni, where are yours?"

She takes the tablet from me and swipes through. "Here, Sanaa-san." Beni's slim back is covered from her shoulders straight down to her lower waist with cherry blossom petals. The tattoos are definitely many year's worth of work.

"Beni," I gasp. "That's gorgeous."

"Thank you, Sanaa-san." She is so quiet and matter-of-fact. I think we're going to get along nicely.

Manami comes to me with a print-out of the design, and the flowers are going to be huge on my tiny back. But once I stand up and she holds the template up to me, I know it'll be perfect.

"Let's begin," Manami says as she grabs a long, length of fabric to wrap me up in. I step behind a screen to take off my shirt and undershirt and come out covered up except for my shoulders. She lightly shaves my upper back, transfers the design, and gets to work.

The scratching, itching, burning sensation being etched into my skin as each petal comes to life is annoying at first, and then the endorphins kick in. I alternate between feeling nothing and pain so intense I almost black out. I ask Manami to give me a few seconds to pause for a deep breath, and then push through it.

It's easy to become bored though. Jiro sits patiently in the chair opposite me, reading from his tablet, and holding my hand when I reach out for him. I let my eyes go fuzzy and stare at Oninoten and Kazenoho propped up next to him while listening to the buzz and hum of Manami working away.

Once every so often, I glance around the screen to the door and either Usagi or Beni are outside. They must be taking turns watching the parlor. Both have been here before and talk with everyone coming and going.

Choosing only the barest hint of purple and green in the tattoo was probably a wise decision because past the three hour mark when Manami starts to shade in color, I become light headed. She's done by the four hour mark, and I am so pleased I decided on something beautiful but not too intricate for my first tattoo even if the design is rather large.

"All finished!" Manami says as she leans back from me. "We'll just spray it, and you'll be done."

"Ah, the meds are the best part," Jiro says as he gets up and comes around to see my back. "It'll feel cool and take the pain away. Tomorrow, you be all healed up."

"Modern medicine is wonderful." The spray hits my back, and I sigh audibly. Wow, that's nice. No more pain but I'm so tired now. How will I make it through the rest of this day? I don't dare get up from the chair yet. I just let them both stand and admire.

"Excellent work, Manami."

" _Subarashii desu yo_ , Jiro. Simply gorgeous. Do you want to see it, Sanaa, before I cover up your back? Bandage stays on for twelve hours and then you'll be as right as rain." Funny how these sayings that mean nothing to us living in a bubble stick around for thousands of years.

When I stand, I'm glad I'm not going to topple over. What I see in the mirror takes my breath away. Manami's a master especially with color.

"What do you think? Happy?" Jiro asks, peeking around the corner.

I turn to him with a smile. "Very."

"Now you are nogiku in every way."

Sanaa, the wild chrysanthemum.

# Chapter Thirty-Three

I sleep all night on my stomach and wake up with Jiro late the next morning. He takes off the bandage, and the tattoo is perfect, absolutely flawless. Tattoos in the old days must have been such a pain without the meds we have now. A twelve-hour turnaround in healing would get almost anyone in the chair.

We'll have no private time today if this morning is any indication of how the rest of the day will go. It's only 9:30, and Beni and Oyama are already in our apartment. Oyama is serving up breakfast, Jiro is in the shower, and I have a few things I need Beni to do today.

"Beni, my Aunt Kimie is going to meet you in our old building in Ku 9 and take you to my family's storage room. She'll show you everything and grant you access to the space for the foreseeable future." Beni nods, her little hair clips over her ears bounce in time with her head.

"Sakai-san has asked me to wear one of the royal kimonos tonight, so please go to the air-tight bins and choose one. Nothing too heavy, though. I need to be able to move in it. Don't forget an obi and grab whatever else looks interesting. Beni, can you fight with a weapon?"

"Excuse me, Sanaa-san?"

"Jiro told me you're a brown belt in karate like me. Before I learned to sword fight, I could only fight with my hands."

Beni thinks for a second. "I've never fought with a weapon before. Is this something you need me to do?"

She seems scared of what my answer is going to be, and her hesitation reminds me of the first time I stood in the Itō dōjō with Jiro and the wooden swords. I was so frightened.

"Not necessarily, though you might want to learn. I was just thinking of the weapons that are also in the storage area. I remember a small, sheathed, sharp sword in with the other longer swords. Will you please grab that for me, too?"

"Yes, Sanaa-san," she says, obviously relieved, but I think I'm going to ask her to learn anyway. Maybe I can teach her?

After Beni leaves, Oyama is right on her heels. I swear he's only said about five words to me in the time I've known him. He's so quiet. Only ever "yes, miss" or "no, miss" and sometimes we discuss what I like to eat and don't, but he's not at all social and keeps to himself.

"Why is Oyama so quiet?" I ask, sitting at the table with Jiro. "I wish he'd talk to me more."

Jiro passes me a plate of food, lovingly arranged. "Here, eat. I'll tell you what Oyama likes, a clean plate."

"Mark told me he likes pretty girls, and that's why he wants to do this job."

Jiro laughs. "I am constantly surprised by the things Sakai tells you that he tells no one else. I can't imagine him ever saying that."

"I think he shows you his serious side because that's the way he wants you to be, especially when you're head of the family."

Will Jiro choose to support Sakai clan instead of me someday? I'm only one person, one little person left in my generation for my family.

"Jiro..." I set my chopsticks down. "I want to make sure you're fine with all of this, us living together already, and how quickly everything happened."

He sets his chopsticks down too and holds my eyes in a lock, but stays silent.

"Because, if you're having doubts then..." I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. "Then I completely understand."

"Sanaa, never in my life has anything made more sense, made me more happy than this. I promise. I'm perfectly fine with everything." His feet reach mine under the table and rub up against them, causing a new blush to burst onto my neck.

"Okay." I just wanted to make sure. I still don't feel like any of this is real.

"Anyway, Oyama," Jiro continues, setting his rice aside and picking up the miso soup. "About four or five years ago, he had the sweetest girlfriend and was totally in love with her, but she died of a congenital heart defect the doctors couldn't fix."

"Oh. Oh, no. That's so sad." Poor Oyama. I don't know what I'd do if I lost someone close to me like that. I lost my parents but I was practically a baby.

"Yeah. He was quite depressed for a long time. I remember Sakai going to talk to him one day, and Oyama up and turned his life around. He's been cooking and food-tasting full time since then. Before, it was only a thing he did on the side. He practiced with Sakai until you came along."

"Hmmm, and what about Usagi? Are they really brothers?"

"Adopted. Usagi is adopted. His real name is Akio, but he hates it. Oyama's real name is Hideyoshi. They are technically family friends and not blood relatives though they have sworn allegiance to Sakai clan."

"I think I'm going to need a family tree soon. This family is confusing and large."

"Yes, it is," he says with a smile, but I can tell it's a confusing and large family he loves. "Do you want to go to the dōjō today and train?"

"Yes. Definitely. It'll be great to get out." Even though we'll be kicking each other's butt in the dōjō, we'll be alone. Just have to ignore the cameras.

"Let's finish and go then."

It was a good idea to expend all of my excess energy at the dōjō because, now, as Beni is getting me dressed for this taiko drumming concert, I'm less nervous than I thought I would be.

Mariko is here in our little bedroom as well. She's already dressed in a peach kimono with a dark green obi and has her hair all twisted up into a French knot. She helped Beni get dressed in a dark pink kimono before they both came over here.

Beni chose a bright green royal kimono for me to wear tonight from the storage area. The fabric is exceptionally heavy, but Beni assured me it was the lightest one of the bunch. She's paired it with a dark gray obi studded with checks of dark blue. Beni has good taste.

"Okay, Sanaa-san." Beni stands and waits, her hands clasped in front of her, and I hesitate before stripping down to my underwear, no undershirt. Mariko eyes me, and I know my body is being quietly assessed as something her son sees, and gods, that's embarrassing. Her glance only lasts a second, but her attention snaps back to me when I turn around, and my new tattoos face her.

"Ah! Gorgeous. Those are Jiro's, no?"

A blush creeps up my neck to my face. Yes, they are beautiful and Jiro's. I turn my head to see her pleased expression, and I scan the width of my tattoos again. I don't think I'll ever get enough of them.

"Nogiku. They're perfect for you."

"Sanaa-san just got them yesterday." Beni holds out the white undergarment for me to wear and makes sure the collar is up around my neck and tight across the chest. My tattoos are only for family and friends. "She was very brave in the chair."

"Thank you, Beni."

Next comes the bright green kimono and obi. Both Beni and Mariko use all their strength and finagling to get a decent drum bow tied on my back. I feel ten kilos heavier. Beni had already done my makeup earlier when I was fresh from the shower, so while she ties the obijime around me, Mariko brushes out my hair and twists it into a simple, elegant bun at the back of my head. Not traditional but lovely, nonetheless.

"All ready?" Jiro asks from the door. He watches me with so much pride and love in his eyes I'm aching again. "Here's the short sword you had Beni get from the storage area."

I unsheathe the blade, and the sword is still in excellent condition with a gleaming finish. Jiro reaches into my obi, laying the weapon lengthwise and tilted across my belly and lower chest. The position is not comfortable at all but I'll have to get used to it.

"I still don't understand why I can't bring Kazenoho."

"I'll carry both our swords. Sakai says he doesn't want the first real image of you to be a fighter. We're promoting peace not war."

"I don't agree. I think Kazenoho makes me look strong, like I shouldn't be messed with."

He smiles as Mariko nods her head.

"Well, yeah. But when has Sakai ever been wrong about these things?" He reaches into his obi. "Here. I have a small, extremely sharp dagger I want you to fasten to your leg, too. This one will be our secret." He turns to Beni and Mariko. "Can you two give us a minute, please?"

They both leave and shut the door behind them.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm terrified. I don't know how I'll make it through tonight." If he could see through my kimono, he'd find my knees shaking.

"You need to dig deep, love. Find the same strength you did from the other night when you commanded Maeda to kneel and negotiated with Matsuda."

"I don't know. That was an out-of-body experience. I can't expect it to happen again." I was possessed, an entirely different person than the small, shaking girl I am now.

"It'll come to you." He pulls me close to him, and I tip my face up to his. "You look amazing. I'd propose to you right now if you could marry."

I no longer feel ridiculous in this extravagant kimono and smile shyly.

"I wish you could." It's the truth.

The damn sword in my obi is poking me in the ribs, but I'm not going to let that stop me from getting a final kiss before we leave. I rise up to my tip-toes to brush my mouth against his warm, soft lips, and we lightly press into each other being careful not to mess up my makeup. His fingers graze my cheek and chin before landing on my neck. Ah, I love his touch.

Before I can pull away, he kisses me on my nose and sighs. "I love those freckles."

# Chapter Thirty-Four

I've never been to this Japanese theater before because it's all the way in the center of Ku 6, and I've only ever skirted the edges of the ward near my new apartment and the dōjō. One of the many things to love about Nishikyō is the variety of architecture in the city. True, most of the buildings are utilitarian, but a few icons in each ward are worth visiting. The Jewish temple in Ku 4 is gorgeous, and I've heard the shrines in Ku 6 are as well.

This theater is incredible which doesn't surprise me in the least. It's five stories tall with long purple banners falling from the arch over the entryway into a grand meeting space. Great attention to detail was paid in making it reminiscent of the old theaters of Japan: high arching points in the roofs, scrollwork along the edges, painted gold and red with hundreds of red paper lanterns hanging off every available ledge.

Though the dome lights have dimmed for night time, the atrium inside is bright and cheery. Hundreds of people are streaming towards the doors, weaving in and out of three meter high vertical banners introducing tonight's taiko drumming troupe. Families and children of all ages are milling about. This crowd makes me even more nervous than meeting with the clan leaders face-to-face. It's so many people.

Jiro points to Sakai who stands on the steps waiting for us with Koichi and Mariko. "We have a box for the show. No worries, Sanaa. You'll be sitting down soon enough."

"Good. This kimono weighs a ton, and my legs are shaking a bit."

I'm surrounded by Jiro, Beni, Usagi, and four other guards wearing Sakai clan kimono. People are streaming past us and glancing over their shoulders at me. I'm the center of attention already, and I haven't stepped inside the building yet.

"You'll want to stand and talk to Sakai long enough so people can see you," Jiro says as he puts his hand on my back and slightly pushes me up the steps.

I roll my eyes at him. I hate all of this nonsense.

"I know. It's dumb. Not my choice. I would rather keep you at home."

"You and me both."

We ascend the stairs, and Mariko hands me a fan I forgot I had left behind. Sakai pulls men and women out of the crowd and introduces me to them as Sanaa Itami, daughter of Junko Itami. Several people blanch and question Sakai, but many take him at his word right away. The introductions are a blur of faces, names, bowing, and curtsies of which I'm only half-aware. I keep getting distracted by everyone around me.

As I'm staring off down the steps, Tadao Matsuda fades into my view. Our eyes meet, and he cocks his head and narrows his eyes at me with a smile. He probably misses all of the time he spent watching me around the dōjō. Taking a closed fan out of his obi, he taps the corner of his right eye.

Yes, I know. You're watching me.

I wonder who has hired him to determine the course of the rest of my life. Whoever it is, I'm sure they want to cut my time as short as possible.

Jiro follows my line of sight and leans forward to catch what I'm looking at, but Matsuda has already moved on, and there are too many people here to talk freely. I open my fan and hold it up to my face to disguise my mouth.

"Can we go in now? Before I lose my nerve to continue on with this night?" I'm faint with nerves, light-headed and shaky. I need to concentrate on not throwing up.

The inside of the theater is lightly based on kabuki theaters from Old Japan. A large stage with a walkway juts out into the crowd. The floor is standing room only but another four levels of seating rise above with boxes on either side.

We enter the auditorium, and my head tilts up in awe. Each section's balustrade is honed from composite wood painted dark and rich. The interior space soars five stories high. It's the biggest open area I have ever been in besides the outside.

"I thought you might want to see it," Jiro says with a smile. "I love this theater."

"I love it, too." I wish I could come here again and again.

"Come, you two. Our box is there." Sakai points to a section on the second tier to the left of the stage. We shuffle through the stairways and halls, and I know exactly where to go because Sakai's men have already secured a path in front of me. Sakai, Koichi, Mariko, Jiro, Usagi, Beni, and I enter our little box, and it barely fits us all.

"Jiro, what about your brother and Miko? Are they coming? This doesn't seem like something Miko would miss."

He points. Miko is waving at me from a box directly across the hall. Yoichi is sitting next to her, and he's wearing his sword which is the first time I've ever seen it on him.

This kimono is hot, and I'm getting nervous about making it through this show in one piece. I take out the fan Mariko gave me and get the air moving around me.

"Okay, love?" Jiro asks with a hand on my arm.

"Mmm-hmmm." And now my blush is growing because Mariko and Koichi are staring at us. This is the first time Jiro has used that nickname in front of them.

"I can't wait to take you all over Ku 6," he says, leaning even closer to me. Jiro's eyes are happy, such a contrast to the serious time spent in the dōjō, and it warms my heart to know that I bring him joy. "I have so much to show you. And we'll travel the other wards together, too."

"I'd really like that." From what I've seen of Ku 6 so far, I want to see more.

I'm thankful when the lights dim, and the drumming starts. I peek over the edge, and Minamoto is on the outskirts of the theater floor. He's surrounded by his tattooed security men, and I think his son is with him, but I can't tell from this distance.

Maeda is watching me from a box up and to the right of Miko and Yoichi. He took a night off from the casino. He must be more interested in me than I first thought. I have completely lost sight of Matsuda and have no idea where Tomio Miura could be. I can't find them in the crowd, and it makes me uneasy.

Five minutes into the show, I start to forget my nervousness and lose myself in the performance because this troupe is amazing. What is it with men who become taiko drummers? They are all so svelte, and they wear the smallest amount of clothing possible.

The drumming is explosive, and the vibrations are coming straight up through the floor of our box to my feet. Besides the four drummers up front slamming on the largest drums, women in kimono stand behind them, their hands and arms a blur as they bang away on the smaller instruments. A young girl, not more than fourteen, plays the flute to the right, and I love her. She is so fast and sure.

It's immensely loud, but I don't mind. The noise drowns out the thoughts swirling in my head, and the rhythm is actually quite peaceful. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on the beat of the drums and the vibrations overcoming the auditorium when I realize something's wrong.

I realize it at the same time half the audience realizes it, their heads swiveling to the ceiling.

The paper chandeliers above are swaying and bouncing, and people are falling down. I jump up to move but am thrown forward at the railing, and I'm lucky to scramble and hold on before I tumble over.

My box is a chorus of swear words, and Beni screams before she is flung against me. I capture her with one arm and hold on to the railing with the other. We all know this is a big one. Those little earthquakes we had were just building up to this.

The show ceases and one drum comes off its platform and careens into the audience completely flattening an old man who couldn't move fast enough. Only a few people who can get their feet under them run for an exit. Everyone else is piled on the floor awaiting the end of the quake, but judging by the screams, many are injured.

I turn my back on the crowd, pressing my ribs against the railing, and keep one arm wrapped around Beni. The shaking is slowing down. The quake is almost over. "Mark! We have to get out of here!"

Jiro has one hand on the railing, reaches out with his other and grabs the front of my kimono. Mariko and Koichi are pressed against the wall. Usagi is at the door. As he's about to part the curtains and usher us out, I hear the sound I've always dreaded under the cacophony of chaos happening below me, the high pitched ting of metal on metal.

"Usagi, wait!"

He moves out of the way just in time as a man dressed all in black and brandishing a katana flies into the box. He cuts right at Sakai who ducks and stumbles as we're jolted again. Koichi lunges at the man from behind and pushes him towards us at the railing. We roll out to the sides, and the man tumbles over to the floor with a scream.

And then, everything stops — the ground's not moving, the light's not swaying. The crowd on the floor is silent for a moment before the screaming starts again and those that are not injured rise to their feet and run for the exit.

But we're in trouble in here. Someone was ready to make a move tonight and thought the earthquake was a good time to strike. They were right.

The fighting happening in the hallway is loud with shouting and swords clashing. Koichi draws his sword and waits at the door. I'm still pressed against the railing when, out of the corner of my eye, I detect movement where there should not be any. I lean farther back out and find three men descending along the outside of the boxes from two flights up. They are climbing down hand-over-hand in a fashion I have only seen Jiro do once.

Oh shit.

Jiro has his eyes on the door. I draw my short sword from my obi.

"Jiro," I whisper. "Up." He follows my line of sight.

"Shit." He turns to Sakai, and I swear he mouths _ninjas_ while pointing up.

_How many?_ Sakai mouths back.

Jiro holds up three fingers.

I push Beni away from me, and Mariko reaches forward to grab us both.

"Can you use this?" I ask Mariko as I show her the short sword. I want Kazenoho; it's on Jiro's back.

Jiro backs up from the railing with Oninoten out and says, "Take it," just as black feet approach over the box's ceiling. I manage to get Kazenoho out as all hell breaks lose.

The three ninjas come bounding into the box as two other men try to break in through the door at the same time. Koichi and Usagi defend the door, and that leaves Jiro and me to take care of the ninjas. I'm ready for this.

Jiro cuts down two of the three so swiftly that I blink, and they are gushing blood. One of them lashed out with a knife and got Jiro on the shoulder. The third gets by him and goes directly for me. I let my body instinctively move Kazenoho to block him twice before pushing him back with all my might. He barely stumbles, though. I'm so small in comparison to him, and this damn kimono slows down my reactions. He lunges at me again but he's not expecting Mariko to come at him from the side. With her distraction, I thrust forward with Kazenoho and stab him straight through the chest.

Just like that, I kill a person. Well, it was either him or me. I chose me.

I quickly withdraw the blade before it gets stuck in him. For a brief couple of seconds, time stands still, and I see us standing over three dead bodies with blood dripping from our swords. This is not how I thought our day would turn out.

Flicking the blood off Kazenoho, I move to the railing looking up and down. No one is coming. Across the auditorium, Miko and Yoichi's box is empty. I hope they got out unharmed. Most of the audience are gone, but a few dead or injured people lie on the floor. I want to send help to them, but I have to think about us first. The whole place shakes again briefly.

"Over the side, Mariko. Beni, you go with her." I push them both towards the balustrade, but Beni fiercely shakes her head.

"No! No, I'm not going," Mariko shouts. She and Koichi look at each other across the box, and he nods to her sadly. A small bubble of panic rises in my throat.

"You will go," I say as I push her. "Find Yoichi and Miko. Your whole family needs you."

She looks me briefly in the eye and kisses me on the cheek. "Be safe."

Another round of sad glances pass between Koichi, Sakai, Jiro, and Mariko before she climbs over and lowers herself until she only has a two meter drop. Beni is still standing next to me.

"Go. You must find my aunts in Ku 5 and make sure they're alive."

She's about to object, but she already knows how much my aunts mean to me. I've only known Beni a few days, but it feels like a lifetime. With a nod, she climbs over the side and is right behind Mariko.

"Sanaa and I will go out the side and climb." Jiro steps over the fallen bodies and pushes me to the railing.

"We'll go out the door." Sakai has paled but he looks as determined as ever.

"Wait! Mark, take Kazenoho. I can't climb with it and this kimono. I have Jiro. You need to defend yourself." Without further argument, I push the sword into his hand and turn around. I can't stand the look on his face, like we won't see each other again.

I climb over the railing and immediately regret my kimono decision. Damned thing is getting ruined. I take the long sleeves and wrap them up around my arms to get them off my hands. This is the last time I wear one of these to a big event, I swear it.

"Which way?"

"To the left and up. Go! I'll be underneath you in case you fall."

"Great. So I can take us both out on the way down." I start climbing horizontally, scale the railing in the next box over and grab for the balustrade on the box above it.

"Use the wall, Sanaa."

Climbing is hard in flip-flops. I kick them both off and try to gain traction with the socks which only moderately works. They are coming off too as soon as I get up one floor.

I manage to swing my legs up and get to the next floor box which is deserted. Jiro is quickly behind me, climbing like he was born to do it. The socks come off, and, when Jiro pulls my flip-flops from the front of his kimono, I laugh. How does he do that?

"Did you catch those?"

He nods but we have no break in the action. From below several men come racing into the auditorium and spot us in the box.

"Oi!" They point and run in different directions, some peel off to the stairs, the others climb. I hurriedly put my flip-flops back on, and we make for the hallway.

Jiro peeks through the curtains, and while I'm waiting for the all-clear, I take the dagger Jiro strapped to my leg earlier and move the weapon to my obi where I can reach it. I should have grabbed back the short sword from Mariko, but who knows who she'll encounter tonight. I'm sure Sakai thinks he has left me totally defenseless, and I pray he's not worrying.

"Let's go. We'll come around to the front and try to make our way out of the theater," he says, as we run down the hall. "Let's hope the ward's not falling to pieces, and we can get back to our building."

I'm thinking we may not be so lucky. The hallway is so damaged part of the wall has caved in, and when we round the corner for the front stairwell, the area is blocked by debris, a man crushed and dead in the wreckage.

"Back stairs?" I ask. I've never been here before. No one is around. Everyone must have made it out before the last little shockwave.

"Yes. Back the way we came."

We turn and run, but I can't pick up pace in this heavy kimono. I lift the bottom up off my legs so I can run faster.

We pass the boxes we came out of a minute before and the men who had decided to climb up the outside come barreling through the curtain at us.

"Go Sanaa!"

I know Jiro can take these three. I know it, but I don't want to leave him. But if I get away now and down the back stairs I can meet up with Sakai and the others, assuming they're alive. If I stay, I'll be in the way without Kazenoho, another target for these men. My options are not good.

"Go!"

Okay, I go, though it's killing me to leave. Please, please, please let Jiro come out of this alive. Please let us all come out of this alive.

I run through the door to the back stairs and a hand reaches out and punches me in the forehead. I slam into the stairs' railing, my neck snapping back and hitting my head on the hard composite. The force of the blow knocks me down, and my butt hits two steps before stopping at the feet of Matsuda. He has his sword out, and the blade is dripping blood.

"I gotcha! Did you really think you were going to get away?"

He doesn't even bother to keep his sword drawn, flicking and re-sheathing it, because I'm defenseless.

My sight blackens along the edges, and I'm so stunned he easily picks me up, wrapping his arms around mine, and pinning them down while dragging me down the stairs.

My head pounds, and I feel like I'm going to vomit. I should. I should let the bile come up. Maybe Matsuda would slip on it and I'd be free. But the feeling passes quickly, and I almost faint he's crushing my chest so tight.

A groan escapes me. Think, Sanaa! I can't let him take me away so easily.

I deliver a careful blow to his shin with my foot, and it knocks him off-balance. We stumble down two steps before he growls and picks me back up again. I kick and scream and cause as much of a scene as I can hoping someone will hear me, but no one shows up.

With one arm still around me, he clamps his hand over my mouth. "Be quiet!" I bite down hard until I taste blood but he barely flinches.

_"He just doesn't give up,"_ Mariko said, and she was right. He won't stop — won't quit until I'm dead. I can't reach my dagger with his arms pinning mine down. Can't defend myself. He is going to kill me.

I throw my body hard against him while he drags me down the last two steps to the first mezzanine level.

How have we exited almost right outside of my original box, and no one is here except for the bodies in the hallway? His feet squish as he carries me over liters of blood spilled and soaked into the carpet. My nostrils are filled with the scent of metal and urine, making me sick again. I was sure someone would be here.

Where is Sakai? Usagi? I don't see them.

With a mounting sense of dread, I fight Matsuda again. This time I snap my head back as fast as I can and hit him so hard in the chin he lets go of me. I try to get up off the floor, but my legs won't cooperate, and the world is spinning.

Ow, my head! The concussion I sustained in the stairwell is even worse now. My brain refuses to communicate with the rest of my body. Not now. Not now!

Matsuda crouches down next to me and laughs.

"Crazy girl. Do you think you can just get up and walk away from me? You think those nogiku tattoos make you stronger? You may be wild, but I..." He stands and kicks me solidly in the back sending me sprawling out on the floor. "I have captured you."

My side erupts in a deep, blinding pain. He aimed right for my kidney, the bastard, and I can't catch my breath. Can't move. I'm close to vomiting between the pain and the blood all over my hands and knees from those men and women killed around me.

"If Taira didn't want you dead, I'd take you for myself to get back at Jiro."

He lunges forward and grabs me by my hair, pulling the bun out and yanking me by the ponytail. If I thought the kidney pain was bad, this is worse. If he pulls any harder my scalp is going to come off.

"Let go of me!" I smack at his hand but he jerks my head. "Jiro!"

"I sent six men after him. He's not coming for you."

I'm all alone.

I try to get myself up off the ground so he's not dragging me, but the pain in my head and my back is bringing tears to my eyes, and I let out a sob that makes me sick inside.

"That's right. Cry, little girl. You're no empress."

This is it, my last chance. I have to get away, have to free myself from him before he hands me over to Miura. I'm certain he means it when he says he's going to kill me. I should have known Taira would act first. I never even saw Miura tonight. He stayed away on purpose.

The only good thing about Matsuda dragging me by my hair is my hands are free. I try to block out the pain radiating through my scalp, reach into my obi, and draw out the dagger Jiro gave me. Act fast, Sanaa. I can't stab Matsuda because he may not let go and then I'll be no better off than I was before I had the knife in my hand.

Quickly, I reach up and, with two swipes, I cut my hair off, releasing me from the agony pulsing through my head. Matsuda looks down at his hand full of my hair, and taking advantage of his stunned pause, I dive forward and thrust the knife into his abdomen.

I am no longer afraid of killing. I look him directly in the eye as I shove harder and drag the knife through his insides. It's the only way I can guarantee he'll never touch me or anyone I love again.

My hands and kimono are covered in blood, and Matsuda falls to his knees as I step back. Even now as he sits dying, I hate him for everything, for killing my parents, for making this a war it should never have been.

"You killed my parents, and now I kill you. Justice."

He underestimated me. He won't be the last.

Even as the last bit of life fades from his eyes, Matsuda laughs. "Justice. How about some mercy? Finish it."

Drooping forward, he coughs blood and reveals the katana on his back that he didn't draw even once because he didn't believe I could fight.

With a shaky step to him, I reach out, grab the sword, and raise it high.

"Here's your mercy."

I bring the blade down squarely on his neck then turn to stop myself from watching his head roll away on the carpet.

Footsteps echo from the back stairs behind me, and Sakai and Usagi step into the doorway, stopped in shock. They are both bloody and panting. Sakai took a hit to his face, and his arm is wounded. Usagi's right eye is swollen.

If Matsuda were not dead at my feet with his sword in my hands, they would surely think I was dying from the amount of blood on me. I drop the sword and try to walk towards them, but my legs won't cooperate. The adrenaline is gone, and my body feels free to panic. I make it two steps before the black descends upon me.

# Chapter Thirty-Five

I don't know how long I've been unconscious, but clawing myself up out of the black is difficult, so I must have been under for some time. Voices around me waver, distorted by the pain in my head. Cool air fills my lungs. My arms are airy and cold too, and, when I shift, I can feel needles in them. My eyes open and blink but the light is too bright for them to focus.

Sakai's face shimmers in the glow of a hospital lamp over me. "Stay still. You have kidney damage and a concussion. No surgery but you'll need time to heal." His warm hand comes down on mine, and his friendly touch is grounding. I'm so cold my teeth chatter, and my body shakes.

"What... what happened?" I try to swallow but my throat and tongue are completely dry. "Where's Jiro?"

A tear escapes my eye before I even know I'm crying, but once I start I'm unable to stop them from flowing.

"Shhh, he's okay. Seriously. He came through completely in one-piece. Four stitches in his arm. That's it."

He's relieved for a second, but the sadness and worry return quickly to his face. Whatever he has to tell me, the news is bad.

"Mark?"

"We lost..." His voice breaks. Oh no. "Koichi and a few other men."

My body seizes up, and I squeeze his hand so hard I think I'll break his fingers.

"Koichi. How?" I'll never see Koichi's smile again. Never fight with him again. Never laugh at his jokes again. I remember the way Koichi and Mariko called each other "love" and how Jiro calls me that now, and I want to die. How will I ever face Mariko? She'll never forgive me.

"Matsuda. Oh Sanaa," he says as he grabs my hand and presses it to his mouth, "I'm glad you killed him."

I shake my head. No. It wasn't enough.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry! _"_ I shout it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was here! I'm sorry I caused this! I'm sorry I didn't kill Matsuda before he killed Koichi!"

The machines hooked up to me are beeping and screeching. I hear the pounding of footsteps entering my room as Sakai is pushed aside by Ku 2 personnel. Ignoring the chaos, I try to remove the IV from my arm. I want out. Want to be away. Time to run.

Sakai tries to hold me down. "Don't. Please."

A nurse rushes over from the dark, and my world is black again.

I shift through a fog of voices and movement but stay asleep for what feels like months. It doesn't matter because I don't care. I just want to see Jiro again, hold him, and tell him I'm so sorry for everything. Nothing I say will bring back Koichi, but I want to do it nonetheless.

Finally, when I awake, my head is foggy with sleep, but, within a heartbeat, I freeze still. Something is wrong with my room. Last time I was conscious, I was in a hospital, and I am not there anymore. I hold my breath long enough to hear nothing but complete silence. Blinking my eyes does not remove me from this strange place. Unfortunately, this is not a dream.

My neck is so stiff I can barely move my head. Lifting my arms, faint bruises dot the inside of my elbows where the IVs were. When I rub my face and search the top of my head, my hair is still gone. No one has touched it since the fight, and it's a ragged mess. Great. I'm sure I look fantastic.

Cautiously rising from the bed, I clutch at my ribs where Matsuda kicked me. Ow, that hurts. I lift my shirt and all along my side and lower back is a purple and green bruise so large it makes me sick just looking at it. I bet it compliments my tattoos nicely. Ow! No laughing, Sanaa. How can I have a sense of humor right now? Sometimes I worry about myself.

A quick glance around reveals a plain room: nothing but four walls, some automated dresser drawers, a door, and the bed which I am currently sitting on. This place is too bright, clean, and orderly.

Wait, definitely too bright.

A thin, wide, rectangular window over the bed is letting light into the room. Light from outside. I haven't seen daylight since my trip to Ku 10.

I get up to look out the window, but I'm a hair too short even standing on the bed. Wow, the ceilings are high here. The walls couldn't be more than two and a half meters tall in my apartment, but here they are over three.

Ow, ow, ow. Stop standing, Sanaa.

"Hello?" No response. "Excuse me! Is anyone here?" Still nothing.

What now? Without a terminal on the wall and no one to ask, I will have to investigate. I walk to the door but hesitate. I have little in the way of clothes on. In the dresser are plain sweaters, shirts, pants, undergarments, and socks. Another drawer contains slippers. I grab a sweater and a pair of pants and pull them on slowly, carefully. Everything hurts.

I move back to the door and take a deep breath. I don't think I'm in danger — the last person I recognized was Sakai — yet the idea of opening the door and going outside is paralyzing. I've been through too much lately, and now I'm paranoid.

My hand hovers over the handle, but I open the door quickly and breathe a sigh of relief. In front of me is a hallway with two doors along its length and an auto-hamper along the opposite wall. At the end of the hallway is an arch leading to an open room. I open each of the doors and find another empty bedroom and a bathroom.

The light coming from the open room is blinding, so bright my head hurts and my eyes water. I stumble into the wall, unable to get my bearings before continuing. I have spent the majority of my life under artificial lamps, and this is overwhelming, especially with my brain banging away in my skull.

"Where am I?" I say aloud. The giant picture window in the main room answers me.

The view reveals a high, rock mountain overlooking desert as far as I can see, rolling, long dunes in every direction but the cliff this house is embedded into. Terrifying blue sky looms over the ochre sand with the sun perched directly overhead. Weakness and confusion bring me to my knees, the pain of my healing injuries forgotten as I try to piece together my current situation.

I'm alone, I could be anywhere within the Dead Belt, and I have no idea how I got here.

As I sit here on my knees and look out this window, the only thought in my head is, "Mark Sakai, you are a dead man."

_Ping!_

Wait a second, what was that? Is there a tablet in here? I tear my eyes from the window, and on the table behind me is a tablet I walked straight past.

When I pick the device up, a faint lightning bolt symbol illuminates on the table's surface indicating a charge point identical to the kitchen, coffee, and bedside tables at home. Who knows how long the tablet's been sitting here at full charge pinging and waiting for me. I take it out of sleep mode and one message is sitting in the inbox. The Nishikyō Net is unavailable so I have no other access to anything.

The message is from Sakai:

_"Sanaa, please don't be angry with me. I know you must want to kill me right now, and I don't blame you. I've brought you here to protect you while Jiro, Usagi, and I work our way through the Taira ranks and flush out everyone responsible for the attack at the theater. I can't keep you safe at home right now, so this place will have to do. You will need to be patient with us. I hope the process won't take long, but I won't rest until they are taken care of._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't leave anyone here with you. This house is only designed for short stays. There's not enough storage space for food for two people, and really, I need every spare person here to help. I know how angry it's going to make you. I'm sorry, again. So there is food in the refrigerator and freezer, enough to last a month, and books and music on the tablet to get you through. I won't be able to communicate with you until we can retrieve you so please be careful and take care of yourself._

_"Jiro misses you..."_

Gods damn you, Mark Sakai! How can you do this to me? How can you drop me in the middle of the desert, alone, and leave me a message that Jiro misses me? I'm going to punch you in the face next time I see you.

With a deep breath, I pick up the tablet from where I just tossed it on the table and am, once again, thankful these things can survive anything.

_"Jiro misses you, as do Beni, Mariko, and I. Your aunts are fine too as is the rest of the family. Please don't think any of this is your fault. It's not. So much of this is history, history of anger between our clans. Taira was always the volatile one. Maybe once they're subdued, we can live on in peace._

_"We'll be back for you soon. Rest and recuperate. We still have a long way to go together._

_"I love you. Mark."_

I sit down at the table and stare out the window.

Dammit, Mark. You had to go and tell me in print that you love me. Now I can't be mad at you anymore.

I sigh and put my head down on my arms.

Oh Mark, I hate to admit it right now, but I love you, too.

### END BOOK ONE

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# Thank You!

Thank you so much for reading REMOVED. I hope you enjoyed your time in Nishikyō with Sanaa and Jiro.

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This is the first book in the Nogiku Series. You can learn more about this series and my other works of fiction at http://www.spajonas.com

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Thank you for reading!

**Don't miss the second book of the Nogiku Series, RELEASED!**

* * *

Left in the desert to recuperate from her injuries, Sanaa Itami paces the floors and contemplates her mistakes. She trusted too easily, and now people she loved are dead, killed at the hands of men coming to assassinate her. Sanaa feels beaten, but life awaits her at home. While her city recovers from the devastating earthquake, negotiations for Sanaa's future continue. New allies must be made, new friendships brokered, new skills acquired -- at all costs.

* * *

Life at the top of the chain is complicated and lonely, though. With all her friendships rocky and uncertain, Sanaa must learn to trust others again more than she's willing. Who is left holding a grudge? And will the new family Sanaa has found with Jiro support or betray her?

* * *

_Released_ is the second installment in the Nogiku Series, a saga of post-apocalyptic sci-fi romance novels set in future Japan.

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**Purchase via**<https://www.spajonas.com/released/>

# Additional Material

### A Note About Honorific Suffixes

In Japanese, the most common way of showing respect to another person's social standing is with the use of honorific suffixes that are appended on the end of either first or last names. The most common, _-san,_ means either Mr., Ms., or Mrs. When you are addressing someone who is higher in the chain of command than yourself (i.e. your boss or high elected officials deserving of respect) you should use the suffix - _sama_. When addressing friends or schoolmates, it's popular to use _-chan_ or _-ko_ for girls (sometimes cutting their first name down to one syllable before appending the suffix) and _-chan_ or _-kun_ for boys.

* * *

It's important to note that you should never use a suffix on your own name. If you're introducing yourself, do not call yourself David-san or Smith-san. Just David or David Smith will do.

### Glossary

Since Nishikyō is seventy percent Japanese, most of the people speak Japanese as part of their daily life whether they are Japanese or not. It was important, therefore, to keep some of the dialogue Japanese without explaining too much and interrupting the story.

* * *

For a list of Japanese Terms used in this book and the entire Nogiku Series, please visit <https://www.spajonas.com/nogiku-glossary/>

### The Structure of Nishikyō

By the time Sanaa's story takes place, Nishikyō has been around for 350 years already. Built in the northern wilderness of remote Canada, it was conceived to house the last of Earth's residents after the Environmental Decline. Japan, always technologically advanced and ready for any natural catastrophe, fared the best of every nation on the planet hence the population of Nishikyō is seventy percent Japanese.

* * *

The city is domed for normal habitats due to the heat and decline of atmosphere on Earth, though every ward has distinct buildings to house the residents. Nishikyō has both above-ground and below-ground structures.

* * *

Nishikyō is shaped like a clock with Ku 1 directly north at the top, Ku 2, the Medical Services Ward, at the center, and the rest of the city laid out around Ku 2 clockwise. Ku 8, the Extinction Ward, and Ku 10, the Farming Ward, both spiral out from the city farther into the desert than any of the other wards. Most wards are linked by footpaths and street tunnels but the transitway is the easiest way to get anywhere in the city.

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Nishikyō is divided into ten wards or kus.

**Ku 1 - Administration & Business Ward:** This is where all governmental work is done.

**Ku 2 - Medical Services Ward:** This ward is solely dedicated to Medical and Pharmaceutical services. Geographically, it's in the center of the city so that it can be easily reached in an emergency.

**Ku 3 - Multicultural Mix Living Quarters:** This ward contains the majority of the Middle East, India, Russia, China, and its surrounding countries' refugees.

**Ku 4 - Multicultural Mix Living Quarters:** This ward contains the majority of European, Australian, African, and surrounding island nation refugees.

**Ku 5 - Multicultural Mix Living Quarters:** This is the ward in which Sanaa grew up. Like Kus 3 and 4, it is a mix of residential and businesses and contains the majority of North and South American refugees as well as a high Japanese population since it's located directly next to Ku 6.

**Ku 6 - Japanese Living Quarters:** This is where Jiro grew up, where the Itō family dōjō is located, and where most of the story takes place.

**Ku 7 - Entertainment Ward:** Izakaya Tanaka is located here as are most movie theaters, gaming establishments, love hotels, restaurants, and okiyas.

**Ku 8 - Extinction Ward:** This is where most research is done on plants, animals, and artifacts that have been cataloged and saved after the Environmental Decline. There are no living quarters in Ku 8.

**Ku 9 - Science & Engineering Ward:** This is where Sanaa lives when the story first begins. It is solely dedicated to Science and Engineering advances, most especially the colonization of Yūsei.

**Ku 10 - Farming Ward:** By far the largest of all the wards, Ku 10 provides food, beverages, and the majority of textiles to Nishikyō residents. All growing, processing, and distribution of these materials originates here. There are no living quarters in Ku 10.

# Acknowledgments

A self-published novel does not come straight from the author's head to the reader's hands. Many people are involved along the way, people that helped this novel and series grow to be what it is today.

One of my biggest thanks goes out to Jennifer Andrews who helped me shape the Japanese language. My Japanese is passable but hers is stellar. She endured hundreds of text messages about which words were better suited to my tasks or scenes and read countless drafts. Without her, I'd have been lost.

Thanks to the person who told me just go out there and write and keep with it, Cari Luna. She has her debut novel, _The Revolution of Every Day,_ out October, 2013. Please check it out.

And my cheerleader from behind the scenes, Skylar Rudich. She has listened to every idea, loved every plot point, read every draft, and claimed a character for herself. You can't ask for better support.

As a writer, I wouldn't have made it to publication without my other earliest readers: Lauren Weinhold, Carli Bandeira, Carrie Coker Bishop, Cathy Rumfelt, Kelly Brock, Aimee Osbourne-Gille, Jessica Fomin, Nicole Kinnunen, Sarah Heath, Amanda Baxter, Mary McKenzie Kelly, Connie Chang Chinchio, Laura Chau, Rebecca Burgess, Laura Taylor, Stephanie Fletcher, Annika Barranti Klein, Cori Wilbur, Pia Bloom Henderson, Karen Clark, Lisa Kelly, Angela Tong, Leah Bear, Katie Benedict, Cathy Bechler, Marie Carney, Michelle Gibbs, Jessie Spressart, Christopher Bechler, Jennifer Wingate Sobolewski, Rangsiwan Fasudhani, Susan Case, Linel Soto, Stephanie Martin, Kristine Monstad, Rachel McElwain, Bertha Crowley, Elizabeth Long, Ingrid D'eon, Elizabeth Lesso, Maya Elson, Yahaira Ferreira, Tien Johnson, and Whitney Gegg-Harrison. These people gave me invaluable feedback and helped craft the end result you just read. I love them all.

Extra thanks goes to Kelly Brock who proofread at the last minute. She's a peach.

This work was agented before it was self-published by Margaret O'Connor. She championed the work for quite some time, and I'm forever grateful for her insight.

My SCBWI buddies were instrumental in keeping me focused on my goal, to tell my story and get it to my readers. Many thanks go to Kim Sabatini, Jodi Moore, Carli Bandeira, Megan Gilpin, and Katie Carroll.

My mother, Claire Bush, has been my eagle-eyed proofreader and loves this story to death. My father, Ray Bush, has listened to all my plans patiently. My brother, Brendan Bush, has understood my love of sci-fi and deemed my work good (which is high praise, indeed). My extended in-laws, Vic, Karen, and all the rest of the Pajonases always asked me how the books were coming along. And my wonderful grandmother, Jean Gennaro, has prayed for my books to be published since she found out I was writing. Thanks, Grandma!

But really, I'm most grateful for my loving family. My husband, Keith, said OK to every crazy idea I had. He was cool with the babysitters I hired to gain extra writing time and the weekend afternoons I'd take to fly the coop and work on another draft. He just wanted me to have fun and be happy, and I did! My children, C and D, understood finally what it meant for mommy to work on something she loved. I have been showing them how to follow their dreams, and I'll never regret that.

# Also in the Nogiku Series

Removed (The Nogiku Series, #1)

Released (The Nogiku Series, #2)

Reunited (The Nogiku Series, #3)

Reclaimed (The Nogiku Series, #4)

Revealed (The Nogiku Series, #5)

The Nogiku Series Omnibus (Books 1-4)

# Also by S. J. Pajonas

### The Hikoboshi Series

The Hikoboshi series is a space opera and action-adventure sci-fi series that explores the worlds settled by the Japanese who fled Earth a century ago. Yumi Minamoto can't wait to take you on her adventures!

Learn more about the Hikoboshi Series

### The Flyght Series

Fly away with Vivian and her crew on the Amagi and explore the Duo Systems as Vivian hunts down her absconded brother, finds love, and tries to save her family farm.

Learn more about the Flyght Series

### The Miso Cozy Mysteries

This series of cozy mysteries set in Japan is sure to delight you and keep you on your toes! Join Mei Yamagawa, as she moves back home with her mother, solves crimes, falls in love, and finds her true calling.

Learn more about the Miso Cozy Mysteries

### The Kami No Sekai Short Story Series

_Shhh... Listen To The Gods._ The Japanese believe the gods live in all things. Trees, appliances, animals, buildings — they all have a spirit living within them. Maybe, if you listen carefully, you can hear them too.

Learn more about the Kami No Sekai Series

### The Happily Ever Asia Novels

All of these standalone contemporary romances highlight dating in the modern world and focus on Japanese or other Asian cultures. They are fun, sweet, and heart-warming, and full of unexpected twists and engaging characters.

Learn more about the Happily Ever Asia Novels

# About the Author

**Stephanie (S. J.)** is a writer, knitter, amateur astrologer, Capricorn, Japanophile, and USA Today Best Selling author. She loves foxes, owls, sushi, yoga pants, Evernote, and black tea. When she's not writing, she's thinking about writing or spending time outside, unless it's winter. She hates winter. Someday she'll own a house in both hemispheres so she can avoid the season entirely. She's a mom to two great kids and lives with her husband and family outside NYC. They have no pets. Yet. When it comes to her work, expect the unexpected. She doesn't write anything typical.

_Find her online at..._

www.spajonas.com

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