Tom Hanks is one of the most liked and adored
people out there. He is not only one of the
greatest actors of our times with an amazing
career highlighted by iconic performances
but he also presents himself effortlessly
and naturally as a good person.
It feels obvious and such perception comes
from the feeling we get from Toms vibe and
atmosphere he creates around him but today
I would like us to try and analyse those few
critical elements of his behaviour, that create
the general image. This is the first episode
of personal attitude series, so stay tuned
for the next videos on the personal attitude playlist.
We start gently with the first point which
is a very simple one but it needs to be mentioned
here as it is also a kind of base and support
for every other:
Number one, good manners
Tom Hanks always behaves appropriately to
the situation. He listens to others with full
commitment and understanding and adjusts his
behaviour and responses to the circumstances.
The materials I prepared are mostly from interviews
where he more or less knows the hosts for
many years now and feels comfortable yet still
he behaves exemplary. Even when he slightly
interrupts he uses gestures, physical contact
and laughter to cover it up and to make amends with the person who could potentially feel uncomfortable
if someone else behaved less gently. Look at this example how Tom greets Sully Sulenberger:
Tom greets him respectfully. Then he makes
a joke about Sully taking over the interview
and immediately after he touches his arm and
confirms that it was just a joke. Toms priority
is to make sure, that others feel good about
his actions.
He is extremely down to earth and acts humbly
even in a casual conversation, he bows many
times and very politely accepts any kind of
compliments.
Now the next point is much more exact than
manners and since we talk about being humble...
the second point is extreme appreciation of
others and modesty.
The effectiveness of this technique depends
on how you deliver it. You can simply say
universal compliments but if you don’t want
to just waste time you have to be specific
and real. So Tom focuses on his conversationalist
and the facts he knows about them. When he
adds something more even if it is just a short
sentence it really makes others feel good
and actually believe the compliment.
Now I will show you a great technique to respond
to admiration. Here is an example of how Tom
stays humble but also immediately turns the
attention to Ellen while simultaneously engaging
the audience to applaud her to kind of make
it difficult for her to deny it. It’s an
amazing example since those two great people
are gonna go back and forth at least few times.
He 
interrupts gently, and takes over the conversation
just to put Ellen above him.
Now she tries again to appreciate his achievements:
...and again he does exactly the same, he takes
over the conversation and finishes the sentence
so that it is about her. But they keep 
on going:
Ellen tries yet again but this time Tom tries
to cover his achievements with a joke.
After that he completely takes over and goes
all out with the monologue where he starts
from that joke and immediately relates it
to another time in past that was all about
how great Ellen is.
In less than two minutes he denies being in
the spotlight 4 times effortlessly, while
absolutely adoring Ellen and moving the attention
to her. The last time she kind of gives up
and just sits there while Tom compliments
her instead. They are obviously both enjoying
their company and they are both people who
you simply cannot dislike. This time however
Tom absolutely dominated to conversation,
just to give up all the attention and move
it to the host instead. This is probably the
no.1 reason for tom hanks being perceived
as the good person in every scenario.
Now another thing directly related to good
manners is
Respectful humour
Tom is very careful about the jokes he makes,
he mostly jokes about neutral stuff or himself
rather than other people, he always gives
credit and gets excited by others. Even when
he is making fun of himself he still finds
a way to appreciate others by comparison:
It’s not only how he makes his own jokes
but also how he handles the humour of people
around him. Many times he has ideas how to
turn jokes of others into more appropriate.
He also does not exploit jokes about others too much.
I’m gonna show you a clip which is a funny
anecdote about someone else and in the regular
circumstances the person telling the story
would like to laugh much more at the expense
of it, potentially making it annoying to whomever
the story involves. Jimmy Kimmel reacts to
it with laughter but Tom cuts it of almost
in an instant by just continuing the anecdote
casually so it becomes more of a nice story
to make you smile rather than something to
laugh at.
It looks like it wasn’t Toms intention to
laugh at anyone so when he saw the reaction
of the host he didn’t join but rather kept
on going in a calm way forcing him to listen.
Number four: Excitement and engagement when
answering questions.
The moment you end your question he bursts
into answering with full commitment and
excitement this is the ultimate technique
to make your conversationalist feel appreciated
and also committed to the conversation. It
usually starts with short questions and short
simple answers without fancy communication
techniques. They are kind of a warm up but
with Tom you get the high quality stuff immediately
without trying hard.
Here’s an example where Tom Hanks bursts
with a great deal of communication skills in an instant.
Notice how eager Tom is to respond. He rushes
into answering so much that he starts speaking
before Jimmy finishes his sentence. He kind
of jumps in and finishes it for him.
He speaks quickly and shows a variety of great
tools, like tone modulations, gestures, strong
word articulations, impersonations, facial
expressions and tempo modifications. Maybe
it does not seem that much when you watch
the clip but to be honest I personally do
not know anyone who would behave that way.
Another thing about him is the fact that he
sometimes even interrupts others just to ask
them about details of what they discuss.
This creates the feeling of relevance and
being appreciated but it also shows your engagement
to the conversation. Of course you have to
do that gently not to interrupt in a rude
way. I will cover this technique in an upcoming
video about being listened.
One more thing about answering like that is
the fact that it makes him struggle to gather
his thoughts.
He wants to say so many things that he simply
needs some time to look for the right words
and form his sentences but surprisingly it
is a good thing and it works great for Tom.
It depicts him as this usual and real person
who gets excited and shows it which leads
us to the next point.
Tom is the definition of the natural behaviour
everywhere he is and it influences our perception
of him a lot. His reactions are normal, he
does not try to look like he knows it all,
he often doesn’t hide the fact that he has
to think about answers or the right words
and he is comfortable showing his emotions.
Here is an example of a reaction that is very
normal but rarely encountered in interviews
with actors. He doesn’t feel uncomfortable
just sitting there thinking about the answer.
He speaks freely but at the same time he doesn’t
feel the urge to respond in an instant.
He doesn’t try to present himself as this
funny guy with answers ready for any question,
like he is superhuman. Another example of
a rather bizarre activity he was involved
into and another example of not caring too
much and enjoying whatever is thrown at him.
Since he is so natural and doesn’t have
to pretend anyone he feels no pressure or stress.
Again one of the greatest actors in the world
in his sixties just sitting there having fun.
You simply cannot dislike Tom Hanks.
Throughout the years his behaviour was constant
and remained the same which leads us to the
last point.
Tom Hanks is predictable in a good way
So what does it mean to be predictable in
a good way – since as we mentioned before,
he most probably will act classy, won’t
offend others, won’t get angry easily, always
tries his best to answer the questions with
full engagement basically becoming a one man
show creating great atmosphere and making
the conversation so much better all by himself
without actually trying hard and staying natural
it makes him the perfect person to talk to.
It is always a safe bet and when you cast
this kind of aura around you people even people
who don’t know you, when they see you interact
this way with others will talk to you more
likely than to people who do not seem so approachable.
This kind of personal attitude might not be
what you are looking for but still you have
to admit it is one of the most versatile set
of tools and you cannot go wrong with it.
To sum it all up Tom Hanks attitude is based
on good manners but what he excels at is making
others feel good by taking care of how they
could potentially react to what he says and
how he behaves. He focuses on appreciating
the people around him rather than himself.
He is very funny but at the same time he is
respectful and will most likely joke at his
own expense or neutral stuff that won’t
annoy or offend his companions. Maybe the
best thing about him as a conversationalist
is the fact that he is super eager to answer
any question or address any topic with full
engagement and commitment,
he does most of the work by himself,
raising the dialogue to the next level with
great communication techniques and excitement.
He does not try hard and stays natural making
others feel good about him. His general behaviour
is very coherent and consistent ensuring others
that he will act certain way so you can feel
comfortable around him. All in all Tom Hanks
simply seems like a good person.
Now dear viewer since this is one of the first
videos on this channel I sincerely ask you
to let me know in the comments what you think
of it, what should be changed or simply what
should we focus on in the future. I will be
very grateful for this form of help and I
hope to improve along the way thanks to you.
This was the first video about personal attitude
so be sure to check other on the same subject
on the personal attitude playlist. Check the
links in the description for sources and useful
links, also if you enjoyed this video please
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See you in the next videos.
