- This is Julian and I'm here in Helsinki,
and let me ask you this.
Did self-help, did spirituality
actually improve your life
or did it make it worse?
Did all these techniques, all these tips,
all this advice actually
help you or did it hurt you?
Is your life heavier?
Is your life more serious?
Are you a little frustrated
because of self-help?
Because of spirituality?
Cause if that's the case,
you're falling into this trap,
you're doing it wrong and you need
to pay attention to this video.
Now before we crack in,
I will ask you to kindly
hit the subscribe button
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time I drop a video,
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right now and enjoy.
(upbeat music)
You find out about self-help
you find out about spirituality,
and instead of using it to help
you, you use it to hurt you,
use it to add more rules to your life.
That's not the point of this.
You know, you'll see this
with the self-help junkie
who's like, you know what?
I need all the vitamins and books
and I need all the routines for my day.
I need my morning routine,
my evening routine,
and my entire day routine.
And their whole day is a fucking routine.
Where's the life in that?
Right?
Or, I heard a concept
in self-help that says,
cut off friends that drag you down.
So I cut off all my friends.
You don't have to cut off
all your friends, you know,
if there are some that
really, really drag you down,
you know okay, this is destructive?
Yeah, but guess what?
Do I still hang out with
low vibration friends?
Yes or no?
Fuck yeah.
Do I still hang out with
friends who don't believe
in spirituality or any of this?
Yes.
Do I still hang out with
friends who hate self-help?
Yes.
Do I still hang out with
friends who drink and smoke?
Yes.
Do I still hang out with friends
who are unsuccessful in life?
Yes.
You know why?
Cause there's more to a
person, than all of that.
Now, it doesn't mean, and
this is again the nuances.
It doesn't mean that my hang
out with them all the day,
all the time, but there
are certain contexts
where I can hang out with them.
Okay?
I have a friend, from Switzerland.
We used to play a lot of music together.
This guy hates self-help,
not the healthiest guy,
but guess what?
I still love hanging out with him,
but I won't hang out with him
for example every single day,
I won't hang out with him
in a self-help context
or going out on socializing context.
I'll hang out with him in an environment
we can talk about music.
And I can still enjoy him.
And enjoy the vibe.
It doesn't be like, judge,
fuck that person his value dropped.
He doesn't do supplements.
He doesn't read books daily.
He doesn't have a morning routine.
Prrrr, Okay?
But that's what we do.
Okay?
And then we do it to ourselves.
We keep hating ourselves all the time.
The same with even spirituality.
You learn about presence
and instead of learning
about the whole philosophies
behind it or the models
or the mindsets, you're
like, am I present right now?
No.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, and
you self-attack over it.
Okay?
Or you take on this whole
perfectionist angle,
where you might, I must always be present.
There was a question I got
one time where it's like,
Julian, is it okay to eat a French fry?
I'm like, yes.
It's okay to eat a French fry.
Now, here's what you might argue.
Well, French fries are
not healthy for you,
it's like processed food, it's greasy,
it will bring you down.
That doesn't mean eat French
fries all the fucking time.
It doesn't mean you know what?
Julian said you could eat
a French fry every day
just chugging the fries.
No.
Okay.
It's not either or, but
it's fine if every now
and then you're just inspired.
You know what?
I miss the taste of a fucking fry
and you eat the fucking fry.
Okay?
It doesn't be these serious rules.
And you gotta sense this.
Am I making my life serious and heavy
and just not fun or not?
All this advice,
any piece by the way can
help you or hurt you.
Don't use it to hurt you.
Don't use it to judge yourself,
to make your life heavier.
You're here to live.
Remember death on your mind.
You could die at any point.
Is that how you wanna go?
Like, well, I died but I
spent the last few years
on a very strict routine.
I mean, it's cool and I have routines.
Okay, it's not like all
routine or no routine
it's have some, but also
allow yourself to live.
Allow yourself to also fuck around a bit.
That's something I really see
missing in this whole field
where, there was even a
client I had a Skype client.
And she was saying, you know what?
I had my cheat meal today and
I joked about it with her,
but I was like, here's my cheat meal,
and she was really tracking
down all her habits.
I was like, what'd you do for fun?
She's like, well, I read for fun.
I'm like, oh, what'd you read?
Only non-fiction.
Self-help books that will benefit me.
I'm like, okay.
Do you really socialize?
Sometimes when I talk about
self-help with my friends.
By the way.
And she's like, here's my
cheat meal for the week
and it's like, two
squares of dark chocolate
with a calculated tablespoon
of peanut butter on it.
And I'm like, that's the saddest
cheat meal I've ever seen.
It's like,
(tasting)
that was it for this week.
What?
Now like live, you have to
live, go out and fuck around.
Go out and like party with your friends.
It doesn't mean to do that all the time,
but like, go and live.
And it's crazy.
You'll see this, people
who, they might even,
you might hear this.
So I go, okay, I'm gonna live,
I'm gonna even just sit down
and do nothing like watch a movie.
It's fine.
It's like bad if it's not
a documentary, it's fine.
You don't have to always be learning.
But then what you'll notice is you do this
and then you start judging yourself.
You're like, I should be learning,
I could be learning more,
I could be reading more.
And you can't even enjoy relaxing, okay?
You gotta do both.
There are times where,
yeah, you better be on point
and you better orchestrate
your life in the right way,
but then you can also
fuck around at times.
You're here to live.
You're here to milk life.
You're here to experience joy.
Don't make it so heavy, okay?
Break the rules.
All these rules, spiritual,
self-help rules are meant
to be broken at times,
not all the time, but at times.
You can have the fucking French fry.
You can have even the
occasional drink here and there.
I also have a drink here and there.
However, sedatives.
I will not have a drink if
it's escaping how I feel,
which is unfortunately how a
lot of us go about drinking.
You're like, I don't feel good.
(drinking)
To numb it, or I am anxious and scared.
(drinking)
Confidence.
Yeah, then no, instead of
doing the drink, do a release.
But, if you're already
feel fucking awesome,
you feel amazing, you're
just celebrating life
and you're like, I can do
what the taste of a drink,
why not?
Okay.
People are like, what?
You know who else drinks?
Eckhart Tolle.
People are like what?
He drinks.
He loves his wine, he talks
about it all the time.
He drinks a lot of wine, he loves it.
You ever wonder why he speaks so slowly?
He's drunk all the time.
He's just chugging wine.
(crowd laughing)
I'm joking.
(laughing)
It's like, and now I have the experience?
(drinking)
Then now.
He's like, play the bell.
Ding!
(drinking)
And then he keeps going it.
No, but it's true and he even says it.
It's like there's your palette,
there's a certain feeling,
he just loves his wine.
Stop making it so serious.
It's fine.
You can also be present,
you can also be spiritual
and you can enjoy your fucking wine.
Now, again I'm joking.
It doesn't mean he's like
trashed all the time.
Although who knows?
Maybe.
It doesn't mean like again,
I'm just drinking and fries all the time,
but it's fine at times.
Okay, break all the rules at times.
The same with, you know, Julian,
like this is another trap.
Like how long does it take
to let go of everything?
That's the wrong frame of mind.
Why?
Cause it's destination-thinking.
That's the paradigm you're
trying to let go of.
The whole point of all
this work is to realize
that you are enough right
now and that you've passed
the finish line and you can
celebrate life right now.
How how long does it take?
Until you stop having to
ask yourself that question.
Until that question just doesn't arise.
And this pisses people off like, what?
It's like, when will I have made it?
When you stop asking yourself,
when will I have made it?
Why?
But here's the detail, why?
Cause the more you do this,
the more you start feeling okay
with where you are right now.
The more you start feeling good
with who you are right
now, and guess what?
Now there's no longer that same motivation
to be somewhere else.
So you no longer have to worry about,
when will I have made it?
Cause you're okay with where you are.
That question, when will I
have made it, is self-hate.
It's a self-hate question.
It's I hate myself now,
when will I have made it?
If you let go of all this stuff
that keeps self-hate alive,
there's no longer the
need for that question
to be somewhere else
cause you're okay now.
Right?
And that doesn't mean,
stay idle and do nothing,
still take action but coming
from a very different place.
So it's identifying all the stuff
that's poisoning how we feel.
From our past, guilt,
regrets, past trauma,
condition stuff, like
I need to look this way
to feel good I need this.
Desire, lack, let go of all that shit
and feel fucking awesome.
As I said, there is no reason
right now to not feel awesome.
Unless someone's, you know,
punching you in the face,
no reason to not feel awesome right now.
So that's the whole process.
It's learning how to feel awesome now,
to realize you passed
the finish line already.
And everything you were
thinking, Oh I need to be there,
that is a lie.
Okay?
And be careful too, of
social media conditioning.
Cause then it stacks on all
these other things you need.
You know, we really are
in this fucking rat race
of a society, we're just
chasing more and more
and more and more and more, it's crazy.
And we either chase more and, you know,
material stuff and self-help
stuff and spiritual stuff,
it's insane.
You know, people are like
go on collecting books,
collecting courses,
like the more knowledge I
will finally have made it.
You realize like chasing more knowledge,
is like chasing more money.
It's like chasing more things.
It's the same fucking thing.
Then, hello, I've made it.
You've made it now.
No but.
That's what you need to let go of.
(upbeat music)
This is Julian, and welcome
to Transformation Mastery.
- It was fucking amazing.
- This was huge for me.
This was so, so important.
- This gave me,
by far the greatest
(mumbling) I've ever had.
- It just made me finally
confront my deepest fears.
- And we got like real deep
and I found so peace use within myself.
- One of the best things
I've seen, I've had more life
- What you're about to experience
going through this program
is what completely changed my
life on every single level.
Okay?
Be it health, wealth, relationships,
higher purpose, you name it.
This is the stuff that finally,
finally produced that true
long-lasting personal
transformation, we're all after.
