NOW THIS IS
PRETTY SIMPLE.
I AM GOING TO QUIZ MEMBERS OF
OUR STUDIO AUDIENCE ABOUT THINGS
THAT HAVE HAPPENED SO FAR IN
THIS SHOW.
IF THEY ANSWER CORRECTLY, THEY
WILL GET A PRIZE.
IF THEY ANSWER WRONG, THEY HAVE
TO FOR FIT THEIR SEAT TO ONE OF
THE MORE DESERVING AUDIENCE
MEMBERS WAITING JUST OUTSIDE IN
OUR "LATE, LATE SHOW" BULLPEN.
THESE ARE ALL PEOPLE WHO CAME
ALL THE WAY TO THE STUDIO FOR
THE TAPING BUT UNFORTUNATELY
THEY GOT TO THE LINE TOO LATE
AND WERE TURNED AWAY.
WILL THEY GET IN TO SEE TODAY'S
SHOW AFTER ALL?
WE'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH.
NOW WHO THINGS THEY HAVE BEEN
PAYING ATTENTION.
WHO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY, ANYONE,
SHOW OF HANDS.
ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO PLAY THIS?
WHO WOULD LIKE TO PLAY.
ANYONE AT ALL.
YES, WOULD YOU?
STAND UP FOR ME, SIR.
STAND UP.
WAIT, I WILL COME TO YOU, HOW
ARE YOU.
>> I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU.
>> WHAT IS YOUR NAME, WHERE ARE
YOU FROM.
>> I'M FROM MELBOURNE,
AUSTRALIA.
>> HOW LONG ARE YOU HERE FOR.
>> WE ARE HERE FOR A WHOLE
MONTH.
ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT.
>> HAVE YOU HAD A GREAT TIME.
>> WE HAVE HAD A GREAT TIME.
>> James: WHAT IS THE MOST FUN
THING YOU DID.
>> THE GREATEST THING I DID WAS
NIAGARA FALLS TRK W AMAZING,
SO MUCH WATER THERE, AND WE'RE
IN A DRAUGHT.
>> IS THAT FUNNY?
>> James: NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
COOL, NONE TAKEN.
NOW I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
UNDER YOUR SEAT YOU HAVE GOT A
BAG OF SOMETHING.
WHAT IS IT?
>> ST A BIG BANG SERIES T-SHIRT.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
>> SHE HAD THE OPTION.
>> James: I'M WELL AWARE SHE
HAD THE OPTION.
I WASN'T STAIRING AT HER
THINKING I WONDER IF SHE HAD THE
OPTION TO BY A "LATE, LATE SHOW"
T-SHIRT OR A T-SHIRT FROM A SHOW
THAT DOESN'T EXIST ANY MORE!
(APPLAUSE)
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, DO YOU THINK YOU'VE
BEEN PAYING ATTENTION DURING THE
SHOW.
>> I HOPE SO.
>> James: SO DO I, BUDDY.
HOPE YOU WEREN'T JUST DAY
DREAMING ABOUT NIAGARA FALLS.
HERE IS YOUR QUESTION, OKAY,
DURING THE GUEST CHECK IN WITH
HASAN MINHAJ, WHAT ITEM WAS HE
HOLDING?
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DONE HELP
HIM.
YOU'RE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE!
>> IT WAS A TENNIS BALL.
>> James: HE WAS HOLDING.
>> A TENNIS BALL.
>> James: YOU THINK IT WAS A
TENNIS BALL.
>> I THINK SO.
>> James: LET'S TAKE A LOOK,
HASAN MINHAJ IS HERE TONIGHT.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT T WAS A
TENNIS BALL, WELL DONE.
I WILL TELL YOU THIS, NOT ONLY
HAVE YOU EARNED YOUR KEEP AS AN
AUDIENCE MEMBER, YOU HAVE ALSO
WON A "LATE, LATE SHOW--" NO,
YOU HAVEN'T.
I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU THIS $50
GIFT CARD TO BLUE BOTTLE COFFEE
WHICH YOU MUST LOVE BECAUSE
YOU'RE FROM MELBOURNE, SO YOU
CAN STAY AWAKE AND ALERT FOR THE
REST OF YOUR WEEK.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
THANK YOU FOR PLAYING.
TAKE A SEAT.
ALL RIGHT, WHO WOULD LIKE TO
PLAY NEXT.
LET ME SEE.
LET ME MOVE AMONGST YOU.
OKAY.
OKAY.
STAND UP, COME THIS WAY.
COME OUT TO HERE.
HOW ARE SNU WHAT IS YOUR NAME,
WHERE ARE YOU FROM.
>> I'M FROM CALLIE FROM DE LUTH,
MINNESOTA.
>> James: FROM MINNESOTA, YNS
YES.
>> James: HOW IS IT GOING,
WHAT BRINGS YOU TO LOS ANGELES.
>> MY SISTER AND I ARE GOING TO
THE JONAS BROTHERS CONCERT
TONIGHT.
>> James: YES!
THAT IS-- HOLLYWOOD BOWL.
>> YEP, YEP.
>> James: WHO IS YOUR
FAVORITE.
>> I THINK KEVIN.
(LAUGHTER)
>> REALLY Z.
>> James: HEY, IF YOU'RE A
SUCKER FOR KEVIN, YOU ARE A
SUCKER FOR KEVIN, IT DOESN'T
MATTER, HE LOVE KEVIN, WE LEV
ALL THREE OF THOSE BOYS.
OKAY, NOW DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE
BEEN PAYING ATTENTION DURING THE
SHOW.
>> HOPEFULLY.
>> James: LET'S FIND OUT.
NOW FOR THIS QUESTION I WILL
GIVE YOU A SETUP FROM A JOKE
FROM OUR MONOLOGUE.
I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT THE
PUNCH LINE WAS.
THIS IS A JOKE I TOLD HERE IN
THE STUDIO NO MORE THAN TEN
MINUTES AGO.
HERE IS THE SETUP, ACCORDING TO
A NEW POLL 52% OF AMERICANS NOW
SUPPORT REMOVING THE PRESIDENT
FROM OFFICE.
>> THAT IS THE SAME NUMBER THAT
VOTED FOR HIM.
>> James: LET'S HAVE A LOOK
AND SEE IF ARE YOU RIGHT.
>> ROUGHLY THE SAME NUMBER OF
AMERICANS WHO VOTED FOR SOMEONE
ELSE TO BE THE PRESIDENT IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
>> James: WELL DONE, YOU GET
TO REMAIN.
WE HAVE NEVER HAD-- THAT SAUL
YOURS.
WE HAVE NEVER HAD TWO-- WE'VE
NEVER HAD SUCH AN ALERT CROWD.
WELCOME, GET A COFFEE ON THE WAY
TO THE JONAS BROTHERS, VEY GREAT
TIME.
OKAY, WE HAVE TIME FOR SOMEONE
ELSE.
WHO ELSE WOULD LIKE TO PLAY,
ANYBODY, SHOW YOURSELVES.
OKAY.
WAIT THERE, I'M COMING DOWN.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY.
YOU CAN CHOOSE FOR THE WHOLE
ROW.
DO YOU WANT THE ASS OR THE
CROTCH?
>> ASS.
>> James: SORRY.
>> ASS.
>> James: YOU WANT THE ASS.
>> YEAH.
>> James: DRINK IT IN, HERE I
COME.
OKAY.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M WELL, HOW ARE YOU?
>> James: I'M VERY, VERY GOOD
WHAT IS YOUR NAME, WHERE ARE YOU
FROM.
>> MY NAME IS AMANDA FROM L.A.
>> James: WHAT IS GOING, WHAT
IS HAPPENING IN LIFE, TELL ME
EVERYTHING.
>> ST GREAT, I GOT TO LEAVE WORK
EARLY TO COME HERE TODAY.
>> James: OH MY GOD, SHUT UP
WITH.
>> MY BOSS IS LIKE YOU HAVE TO
GO, AND I'M LIKE ARE YOU THE
BEST.
>> James: NO WAY, AND WHAT DO
YOU DO.
>> I WORK AT HULLO.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU DO AT
HULU.
>> I'M AN EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT.
>> James: SHUT UP.
>> YEAH, YEAH,.
>> James: THAT IS AMAZING VERY
FUN.
>> IT IS VERY FUN, MAY BOSS IS A
I MAGAZINE,.
>> James: ARE YOU ONLY SAYING
THAT BECAUSE ARE YOU ON TV RIGHT
NOW.
>> HI KAREN.
>> James: IN THE BEGINNING OF
THE GAME I ASKED THE FIRST
CONTESTANT ABOUT THE ITEMS IN
HASAN MINHAJ'S HAND.
WHAT WAS THAT CONTESTANT'S NAME
AND WHERE WERE THEY FROM.
>> OH MY GOD, OKAY THEY ARE FROM
MELBOURNE AND HIS NAME, OH GOD,
IT WAS-- I WAS-- .
>> James: GOING TO HAVE TO
RUSH YOU.
>> IT WAS CHRIS T WAS CHRIS.
>> James: SHE HAS GONE WITH
CHRIS.
LET'S SEE IF SHE WAS RIGHT.
>> WHAT IS YOUR NAME.
>> SCOTT, I'M FROM MELBOURNE,
AUSTRALIA.
>> James: YOU WEREN'T EVEN
CLOSE, NOT EVEN CLOSE TO PAYING
ATTENTION.
AND NOW ALL OF THE ATTENTION IS
GOING TO BE PLACED  YOU,
BECAUSE TO BID A FAREWELL I'M
GOING TO HAVE YOU SING ERIC
CARMEN'S 1975 HIT SONG ALL BY
MYSELF ON YOUR WAY OUT.
CASEY, LIGHTS, MUSIC, AND LEAVE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ DON'T WANT TO BE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ ANY MORE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
>> James: WAVE HER OUT, GUYS.
♪ DON'T WANT TO BE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪ ANY MORE.
>> James:   SNOT ALL BY
MYSELF.
>> James: ALL RIGHT, QUICKLY.
♪ DON'T WANT TO BE.
♪ ALL BY MYSELF.
♪
>> James: THAT WAS WERE YOU
PAYING ATTENTION.
LET'S BRING IN A STANDBY.
