The truth is out there — except it's probably
not nearly as complicated or terrifying as
some people would like to think.
Modern life is challenging enough without
introducing insane conspiracy theories into
the daily grind.
But to the conspiracy theorist, everything
we know is wrong, masked under multiple layers
of government interference and clever alien
trickery.
Here are some insane conspiracy theories that
people actually believe.
The Earth is flat
We've been pretty sure that the Earth is a
big ol' ball for well over 2000 years.
But a very unusual and dedicated sect of amateur
pseudoscientists insist that the Earth is
actually a disc.
According to Flat Earth theory, our planet
is suspended in space and surrounded by an
enormous barrier of ice, so that the oceans
and delicious fish don't just drain off of
the edges and into space.
For reasons unexplained by science, no one
has ever ventured past this alleged icy wall
to see what's out there, because we can travel
to the depths of space but apparently can't
make it past some ice.
While a Frisbee-shaped Earth seems a bit more
comforting than our trembling ball of unstable
magma, we'll keep the big, blue sphere that
we know and love.
The Earth is hollow
If you're sure that the Earth isn't flat,
consider the idea that everything you think
you know is still wrong.
The planet you're living on is actually a
hollow ball, and inside of it is lush jungles,
ancient tribes, dinosaurs, and probably aliens,
depending on who you ask.
According to ancient writings, a whole lot
of old sci-fi, and one person who claims to
be from there, all you need to do to get into
this fantastic world is reach the giant hole
at either of the Earth's poles and drop on
through.
Other theories suggest that we're actually
living inside of the Earth already, and optical
illusions and holograms have convinced us
that we're on the surface.
Either way, Hollow Earth Theory defenders
are adamant that there's another world inside
our world—they just can't seem to find what's
literally under their noses.
Lunar landings are a lie
It's an awesome human accomplishment that
mankind has made it to the moon and back.
But some conspiracy theorists believe that
the whole thing was faked with an elaborate
TV studio setup and a whole mess of tampered
evidence.
The theory was first described in a self-published
book by a technical writer who worked with
rocket engines, which suggested that a trip
to the moon was just too hard, and that faking
the trip was easier.
Of course, the Flat Earth Society took up
the cause, positing that Walt Disney and Stanley
Kubrick participated in forging the "fake"
moon landing film here on terra firma.
Coercing the 400,000 or so people involved
with the Apollo project into silence is another
story altogether.
Saddam's Stargate
What if the Iraq War wasn't motivated by oil
or to eliminate a potential nuclear threat
— but rather because the US government wanted
to access an ancient Sumerian stargate?
While the United States has Area 51 to keep
all of its alien stuff…
"Now what's your mission?
Are you planning to make some kind of alien/human
hybrid?”
“Are you coming on to me?”
...Iraq has its national museum.
During the Iraq War, there was supposedly
an inter-dimensional portal that Saddam Hussein
was trying to activate...in order to rule
the world...with military forces provided
by ancient alien gods.
Yeah.
It should be pointed out that most of the
unusual theories about Saddam's stargate shenanigans
surfaced a little after the Kurt Russell film
of the same name.
"It's the Fargate.
F!
It’s different from that movie which I have
never seen, so how would I copy it?”
“Chill, man!”
Fortunately for mankind, no cool Egyptian
gods have come through to say howdy or hit
us with any dumb riddles.
Lizard people
Forget about sleeping at night, because the
whole world is run by shape-shifting lizard
people who just happen to be really, really
good at politics and acting.
Called "Reptilians," these creatures are in
cahoots with extraterrestrial aliens to subjugate
the citizens of Earth to whatever their endgame
is, which is presumably to just eat and probe
everyone to death.
Ultimately, Reptilians are the source of every
other conspiracy cover-up, since they're capable
of flawlessly manipulating all media to their
needs.
And if nothing else, they're a very convenient
excuse for everything that's wrong with your
pitiful human life.
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