Alright, this is no time to explain!
Yo.
Character: I am you from the future, there is no time to explain!
Follow me to...
OH CHRIST!
(Laughter)
Alright.
He's dead.
This is a...
This game came out a while ago.
Ok, so...
Geoff, please! There's no time to explain!
Guys?
Michael, there's no time to explain. Just go forward.
There we go.
You're making too much exposition, we got to go!
Alright, so you basically have a laser,
or a different weapon,
and you try to get to the end of the level.
It's the same thing as speed runners.
We need more hats!
I'm the one with the hat on!
Character: I can see my bones!
and there's hats hidden throughout the thing.
Oh God, what is happening?
We're burning through these levels, Michael.
This guy yelling is probably the best part so far.
I think he just said, "I can see my bones"
Aw, Jesus.
Holy Shit.
Waiting for you guys to catch up.
I made it first that time!
This is just a riot of...
Well, I'm also looking for hats!
Fuck hats.
No, we need hats!
Hats would help.
Now we do have hats on.
What do the hats do?
Lets us tell who the hell we are.
Ow.
Are you serious? Is that really what it is?
Well, yeah!
Nah, we'll figure it out.
Like cloud bearing.
Dude, there is fucking spikes everywhere.
Alright, is this... ok.
It's a crab thing!
Fuck it up!
Oh, we're shooting the shit out of it.
No time to explain!
Fuck you!
Shoot the - Shoot the things!
Independence Day!
I was standing right where it shot.
Am I dead?
Are you?
No, I'm alive.
There I am, I'm flying in the sky.
It's losing stability!
It's gyroscope is off!
Is this a boss fight?
Gyroscope that!
We're already to the first boss fight!
Did we beat the game?
We won!
I'm doing a victory sweep.
I'm sweeping across the level in victory.
No time to explain!
Wait, where am I?
He's not dead yet!
Shoot the crab!
Fuck you!
I'm really high!
Jack, no!
It's a robot crab!
We beat the shit out of it.
No, we beamed the shit out of it!
I'm still cooking it, just in case!
You never know.
It's future us!
What is that over there? Grab that!
Grab that on the far left!
wait wait don't go!
wait wait no!
Ok, that's cool too.
Far left. Got it.
(Laughter)
Seems familiar.
Character: I am you from the future!
No time to explai-
Other future me was way cooler.
Oh!
Fuck that guy.
Let's go!
Oh, fuck!
So we've already beaten a couple,
So which one should we go through, that one?
Oh, what?
Are these the levels?
Alright, let's do this one.
Look how many hat's we haven't gotten yet!
I've collected one hat somewhere!
Your single hat.
That's why I have a hat on.
This house is getting alot of play.
Yeah it is.
Oh, shit, shark!
I'm just going to walk.
Isn't it shark week soon?
I think it's already over.
It was last week.
Oh.
Man.
Well, we kicked the shit out of that level.
Hey, it was an awesome shark week guys.
Hey, hey, take it easy!
We don't want to blow up all our....
Ok!
You assholes.
(Geoff Laughs)
Sometimes my thing doesn't keep me in the air.
I didn't come back this time.
Neither did I.
Oh well.
That's alright, Jack's got it.
We're through!
Weeeeee!
There's a hat!
And... you didn't make it.
We don't need you to get another hat!
Oh, well, I think I collect it for everybody, right?
I don't know.
I don't know how it works.
Is that something you can promise?
Whoops.
Bye!
Alright.
What's jump?
How the fuck do you go up?
Left trigger.
You shoot down.
Well, left trigger's jump.
Yeah, it's not working great.
If you jump and beam at the same time
you kind of get a little bit more of a launch.
Alright.
I'm so close!
Fucking floating space future hats.
Geoff, how did you get way up there?
I don't know. It didn't do me any fucking good.
Hey I got it!
New hat!
New hat!
Alright.
What a fetching chapeau.
Make it!
Ok, so I'm going to try my new hat.
Ok.
I'm going to hit Y.
Hang on.
Yeah.
Y.
Ooh, look at that!
I've got a few hats!
Yeah, one hat my ass!
I'm going to do the...Siberian hat!
Alright, so now now let's see here.
If we go up this way, Ryan hit Y.
No hats!
No hats?
I'm hatless!
You don't got shit!
My dreams of starting a haberdashery are dashed.
(laughter)
A haberdashery?
Haberdashery, yes!
Ha..der...what?
Huh?
Ow!
OH GOD!
I stuck to the side!
I made it!
Good job Ryan!
Thanks.
Oh, Fuck.
Alright.
Let's go up!
Go up!
That's what they want you to think Jack!
I'm up.
Maybe?
I am not... I have not gotten this "go up" thing down.
Oh look, there's a hat!
I want a hat so bad!
I want the hat!
Where is it?
Come on!
Go up!
(Michael Laughs)
There you go, left trigger and down will make you jump higher.
Left trigger and down?
Yeah.
I don't know where I am.
Alright guys, I got this!
YAY!
Between no, that, no, there I am... ok.
Did I miss the hat?
Alright.
Somebody got the hat!
Who got the hat?
Who went through the thing?
Ryan, did you get the hat?
I don't know.
Check.
Alright, I'm trying.
Hit Y.
DAMNIT!
Ryan didn't get the hat.
Did I get it?
Did Geoff get the hat?
Goddamnit.
Everybody stop doing it!
Not Jack.
I didn't get it.
It was probably Michael.
I've had hats.
Michael, you try.
(Everyone cheers)
You got an angry face!
Yeah!
Fuck you guys! I have a whole new head!
This seems like the quest for identity.
Yeah, I found it!
I'll kill you bitches!
Stop it!
Where are you going?
I was going to see if there was a hat up there.
Oh, ok, but I don't think so.
Geoff's just looking for a hat.
Geoff there's nothing up there.
Come on Geoff!
You're just flying straight up.
Alright.
(Everyone Laughs)
Great.
This requires a little but if subtlety, alright?
Subtle this!
Alright, Ryan, you shoot.
OH GOD! JESUS CHRIST! WHY!?!
Ok.
How are you alive!?!
Well, he's not.
Alright, Michael, you might be able to do this.
I mean it's unlikely.
It's possible.
Guys?
Aim left.
Just little down thrusts.
There it is!
Awwwwww.
Very close.
I tried.
(Geoff Laughs)
First.... we need to kill Geoff.
Yeah, how do we do that?
Oh God, you've killed me!
(Geoff Laughs)
ok, ok.
Yeah, we're good.
What hat? That's not a hat, that's a mask!
It's a head! I love it!
Jack!
Damnit, I fucked that up.
You did.
You got this Michael.
Nice!
Look at that!
Gentle touch with the....weapon of Mass Destruction.
Death Beam.
Whoa!
Nice save!
What a save!
Saved it how!
Alright.
I feel like they had a little time to explain.
Like right now.
No Ryan, there's no time to explain.
I mean, just like...
I don't know how I'm going to get all the way up there.
If you remember, his left trigger and then down.
Like, you can get a nice little hop.
What?
Alright.
I'm not sure what you're doing.
What'cha working on there, bud?
I'm trying to...
He's trying to...
Ohhhh, make a little ledge!
Nice. Clever.
Ooooooohhh! Nice job!
So, blow that roof off and go straight up!
Man Michael.
Very very precise.
YAY!
MVP
I didn't want to do that map again.
AHHHH
We all got hit by a fucking car.
And I was driving it!
Except for Geoff, who's way the fuck back there.
For some reason, Geoff's still behind everybody else.
Weeee!
Did someone just shoot me?
Well, we have a new gun now, that goes BOOM!
Ok, so right trigger now fires.
and for some reason Geoff didn't get it.
It's like a shotgun blast!
Yeah, Geoff has the old laser.
Well, he didn't get it.
He didn't go to the car.
AHHHHH
Ow.
Ok.
So?
Oh shit!
I think I'm at the end, but I can't see where I am.
Ok, so, I did it!
You made it.
Oh fuck.
Ow.
(laughter)
Damnit.
Damnit.
(laughter)
Who am I?
There I am, ok.
Who am I?
I did it!
Damnit, get up there you mother-
Hat! Hat! Hat! Hat! Hat!
Hat!
Come back up here!
Guys I can't get up there.
I got it!
Damnit Jack!
Well, let's see if anyone else can get it...
It's gone.
It's gone!
Sorry.
You fucking hat mongoler!
(michael laughs)
I am the Hat Mongoler!
Ow.
Ow.
AHHHH!
I did it!
Ryan did it.
Character: I'm sorry I pirated Roller Coster Tycoon.
Did he say he's sorry he farted on all the coasters?
Pirated.
Oh.
Pirated.
I got a hat!
It's a new hat!
New hat!
I think I got a hat.
Is it a hat for Ryan? Is it a hat for Ryan?
YAY!
Oh, it's the same one I'm wearing.
Hang on, I'll change mine.
You've got options, alright!
I got a bunch of hats.
I can only wrap my head in one at a time.
I'll be the sad face.
Oh nice.
oops.
I didn't push a button.
There we go.
Hat!
Oh look at where I spawned!
Haha!
Dick.
I mean, it helps the whole team, Ryan.
Yeah, but I feel like a personal victory.
Ryan is blowing his way through!
It's not me!
I'm just walking.
Oh, that's Michael!
Ah, shit!
Hey guys.
Huh.
There you are. Now there are room for ya!
Whoo! Whoo!
Oops.
I think we have to go through there.
Ok.
Ow.
Uh.
Live on! Tell my story!
Ah, there I am!
Whoops.
Ooh, secret!
Don't you get that hat!
Is there a hat down there?
I guess not.
Who's that?
That's me.
Michael!
(laughter)
Yay!
Nice.
Hey guys.
Go to the right!
Ok.
Can't.
Just fire your gun, bottom left.
There you go.
Oh.
Whee!
Somebody still stayed.
That was me, sorry.
Oh, you asshole, you pushed me into the spikes!
Have you seen my face?
What does that have to do with anything?
I'm an asshole!
Look at my guys fucking face!
You're saying you have an anus head?
What?
Oh, we're back to the laser thing!
Oh, yeah, this isn't as fun.
Yeah, I like the explosions way better.
Alright, so you have to actually be hitting something
to gain altitude. Is that the case?
Oh shit!
Is there a hat down there?
There's a hat down there!
Geoff, it's all you!
I want to get the hat!
Get the hat!
Let me get the hat!
Get it Geoff!
Yay!
I want to put a hat on!
Geoff's got a hat!
He wants the world to know!
Party hat? No, it's a Gnome hat!
Gnome!
Alright.
I thought Ryan was the Gnome guy?
He was, but your the new Gnome guy.
I guess that your it!
I hope you're as successful with the Gnomes as I was.
Character: What kind of monster is this thing, anyway?
Rawr!
I really like how all our different faces came together, guys.
Yeah.
Alright, we're not going anywhere.
I'm pushing the Gnome!
If I get under you, can you push off me?
There we go!
There it is!
I'm going to give you guys great deals on travel!
Wait, let's see if there's anything up here.
What if there's a hat?
Alright, Ryan.
Oh.
We believe in you!
I bounced off somebody's head.
Or feet. Their feet bounced off of my head.
I don't think there's shit up there.
Yeah.
Advancing!
Ow.
Go!
Get off my fucking head!
I can't!
Advancing!
I don't understand how...
The "up" is derived.
Alright.
Alright, Gnome head.
A little free brain surgery there.
Gnome Head! Gnome Head!
Ooey Gooey Gnome Head!
Gnome Head! Gnome Head!
Eat them up yum!
In the morning...
laughing at the Gnome Heads...
Angry face for the win!
Character: What did I do to deserve this?
What is this anus in time and space we keep jumping in?
I don't know.
It's a wormhole!
Don't you know science, Ryan?
Camera! Camera! Please!
Ow.
Ok.
I'm just going to wait here.
These spikes are wiping us out.
Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap
Hat!
There's a hat up there!
How do we get to the hat?
I don't know.
Down and around, maybe?
I can restart the level,
Do you want me to restart the level?
No, wait, try to go to the right here.
No.
Yeah, you have to go up and over.
Goddamnit.
Oh, I'm still down there.
Michael's got it!
Oh, no hat for me.
Geoff's got it!
Gnome head.
Peaceful.
New hat!
New hat for Geoff!
Oh, dear God.
Fuck your level!
Although, we might have to go down the middle there.
Wheeee!
Let's go this way.
I got a hat!
Hey, good job.
I died for it.
It's a very good hat.
glug glug glug glug
I'm fucking floating.
I'm drowning!
fizz fizz
fizz fizz pop baby.
This is uh...
Wait.
not as hard as I thought it was going to be.
I got to see what my new hat is.
There's probably 10,000 levels.
Oh, ok, look at those locks!
Some delicate hair.
Jack says no.
You're Jon Risinger now.
I was...
thinking about that guy that got hit by that goose
that time.
Hey guys!
Guy that got hit by that goose that time?
The one that's on all the romance novels.
Fabio!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
He got hit by a goose?
No, it was a dove right?
Was it a dove? I thought it was a goose.
Or a pigeon or something.
No.
He fucking killed a bird with his face on a rollercoster.
Yeah.
Wow, that sounds amazing.
Yeah, it messed him up pretty good.
Did it really?
I mean, he was alright.
It fucked him up.
He had a broken his nose and was all bloody and shit.
(Geoff Laughs)
He didn't get to be Fabio for a little while after that.
Guys, we need to get the fuck up there.
Alright, so those squares...
Is it, is it Geoff?
Get in the square.
The square's like reset your boost.
You can boost out of the square.
If only I could see!
The camera's focused on me for some reason.
Cam whore!
Jack's a cam girl!
I fucked it up for everyone.
Send presents to my P.O. Box.
Alright, well there you go.
You're the guy with the cam, so you do it.
Take it! Take it!
Yes!
Yes!
Alright, good job.
Lead us to victory!
Splash!
Victory!
Why did we just go under?
Uh oh, this seems like a boss battle.
We're on a boat guys.
I'm just going to stay here.
AHHHHHHH!
SHARK!
Jesus Christ!
We were all Samuel L Jackson,
for a second there.
Ahh! Again! I just came into being!
"I came into being"
I think we might have to laser this thing.
Ahh!
Shoot the shark!
The shark dropped a fucking nuke!
Oh, it's a nuclear shark.
That's the worst kind of shark!
Nuclear shark detected!
There we go, alright.
I'm ready for the shark.
Oh, he got us!
So, his bubbles...
There are spikes on the wall!
Bubbles proceed us.
For him.
Damnit!
Oh, fuck!
Watch out for the wall spikes!
AH!
Also, it would be awesome if I could exist again.
Yeah.
Oh.
He got me.
A twofer!
We should...
Watch for the bubbles!
I'm going to try and stay underwater.
Middle, Middle, he's going Middle.
Oh, he's going right.
Shoot his tail off!
Damnit.
Get out of the way!
Damnit, I spiked myself.
I spiked myself too.
Is there a limited number of respawns?
Oh, no wait, I'm back!
If we're all dead, we fail.
I think if he eat's you, you don't come back.
No, I'm telling you, as long as somebody stays alive.
No, I didn't come back last time.
Alright, so it looks like you have to jump,
when the nuke hits.
I think if you're in his mouth, you just stay dead.
Right!
Ahhhhh!
Oh, I spiked.
Ok, left!
Oh God!
How am I alive?
Where am I?
There I am!
When are you?
Stay in the air! Stay in the air!
Nuke!
I did it!
Am I somewhere? I think I'm dead.
He's left!
Where did I go?
I flew away!
Ahhh! Spiked!
Alright, so the spike thing is bullshit.
Goddamnit!
Ok! We got this!
We do?
No.
Middle!
Yeah, hopefully he doesn't come in this direction.
Oh Goddamnit!
I got fucking spiked!
Middle! Middle!
Ah, he's coming this way!
Ah, spikes.
He got stuck!
Did we beat him?
Oh, yeah that was interesting.
He choked on somebody!
AHHH! WTF!?!
AHHHH!!!
Jesus!
Geoff...
You're standing in my shot.
Oh, we have a limited number of lives.
That's what it is, we have like 3 lives.
I think I went too high and died.
And someone immediately died.
There's Michael!
I didn't die, I was exploring.
Left! Left! Left!
Now I died.
Fuck! Ah, Damnit.
I don't like this level.
Yeah, I didn't notice those lives I had been wasting,
because I spawned in his mouth.
Oh God, there was no avoiding that.
Yeah, I think I burned like 50 lives.
I might as well just kill myself.
(laughter)
Alright, this is the end of the video, boss fight.
This guy's a real bitch.
Alright, he is in the middle.
Oh.
FUCK!
Stop killing yourselves!
It's hard!
It's hard or it's hot?
Where am I? I'm like up in the air!
Fucking spikes!
Goddamnit, you cunt.
If your in the clouds, you like float.
Alright, you got this, there's two of you!
Make us proud!
Well.
(laughter)
Are you proud yet?
Damnit.
This is hard, precision is not easy, in this thing.
Right! Right!
There we go! I fucked him up!
Middle!
Oooohhhhh, Damnit!
Not hitting the spikes is tough.
Everyone airborn! airborn! airborn!
Fuck!
I couldn't get altitude!
Ok.
Right.
He's still got somebody in his mouth!
Oh, it's future past us!
Oh shit.
That's creepy.
Eat it!
That's amazing!
He's getting double got!
He ate me.
Well, you kept saying eat it.
Ah yeah!
There we go! You got it!
Oh shit, it's sucking us in!
To space!
Let's do it!
Bye!
We killed the shark squid.
That's how Contra starts, right?
Oh look, we're in a new level!
Ok.
Oh!
I don't think we've beaten it yet.
Yeah, I would assume, maybe after this one?
Ow.
HAT!
I got a hat!
If I could just get over this.
Oh, you got a little bobby hat!
Oh yeah!
Motherfucker.
Well, obeying the rules of the game.
I have to equpi the new hat.
Ok.
Not for Geoff!
You're...
There you are, that's you.
Can I equip hats on somebody else?
Oooh nice!
I'm a bobby!
It's very inacurate that bobby's are not armed
with deadly laser's.
There, thank God!
Alright, so I think we beat that thing.
I agree.
Oh, no.
Ok.
No.
Yeah.
No. I just.
Ok
It's, what?
WHAT!?!
Alright.
What!?!
Somebody did it!
Hurray!
Hat!
Get the fucking hat!
Where's the hat?
Got it!
Someone got it.
I got it!
Alright, let me see different...
K.
Oh, you got a pancake on your head.
Interesting!
Nice!
I'll try this for a bit.
Michael's a crepe!
Ow.
(laughter)
You're a creep!
But I'm a crepe!
I'm so sugary!
What the hell am I doing here?
Bye Jack!
I went sailing by!
I'm savory, but a desert.
Oh.
Wow!
Crepe's aren't savory!
They can be.
They "can" be.
Have you ever had like,
ham and cheese and asparagus crepe's?
No.
There's a hat!
Oh, it's so good!
Fuck.
I mean, that looks like a laser, right?
Got it!
Fuck you Jack you Fuck!
Ah, I'm getting sucked in!
AHHHHHH!
Dude, it's like Portal.
AHHHHHH!
Oh, it killed me.
Ok, so you've got to get into it, and then get out of it.
(Hums Twilight Zone Theme)
Ahhhh! I'm being abducted!
What the hell am I doing here?
So this is the typical, play until we get to the boss fight
and then play 3 more levels and quit, let's play.
yeah yeah
As you do.
So, is this the third level?
Should we quit now?
I think as soon as we finish this.
Or will we finish?
Ow, fuck, ow ow ow ow ow ow
Aha! I've done it!
He's got it!
To the future!
Wheeee! Part II!
Shit.Hat.
(Everyone Laughs)
Ok.
You gotta go forward than back.
GOT IT!
Jeremy they just watched a video!
Really? If they liked it
they should click like on it.
and subscribe.
Also,
if you want to watch more videos like this,
click here!
to watch them.
(Everyone Laughing)
