

Leaving America

Alexander County Abroad

_By Rick D. Jolly_

Other Alexander County Abroad Titles

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### Introduction

We are Samantha and Rick Jolly, two American expats living in the United Arab Emirates. Enjoying life abroad as we travel around Europe on holidays and weekends. Our decision to live in the Middle East surprised some people, but those who knew us best understood our reasoning. The United States is one of the best countries in the world to live, but not the only one. Steps must be taken to help ensure a prosperous future by finding greener pastures and better opportunities. The ability to travel the world and have amazing adventures while meeting incredible people and experiencing different cultures couldn't happen sitting at home on the sofa. We did a lot of research before making the final decision and just went for it. If other people could live abroad we could do the same. We've made mistakes along the way, but learned so much in the process. This is our story from my point-of-view while living abroad in the United Arab Emirates.

# Chapter 1

# Leaving Home for a Foreign Country

Why leave home? A better question is what not! Many people dream of traveling the world to see what marvels await and experience different cultures once only found in books. Some of us take a chance on life and head to parts unknown just to see what happens. Setting in our cozy little condo nestled in a quiet neighborhood of NW Hickory North Carolina in 2012, the question was asked; "Is this it, is this the American Dream?" Neither of us had a decisive answer. Samantha just started her new career as an elementary school teacher, after going back to school for two years. She had enough of the banking world so she quit and got a job at Olive Garden to work her way through school, a big decision for someone close to thirty and out of college for almost a decade. For thousands if not millions of hard working well educated Americans this had become the only choice. The thought of waiting on patrons at a chain restaurant gave her pause, but the end results would have to be better than residential banking. The slowdown in the banking Industry had put pressure on banks to get creative with securing new revenue. One idea used locally, mandatory telemarketing, was the final nail in the coffin. Never mind the monthly new accounts requirement in an area hit hard by the recession. People had stopped moving to our region of the country. Jobs were scarce and pay was flat or lowered to stay in business. Yes you should always promote your place of business, but add more responsibility without compensation to everyone from the teller to the branch manager and implement it into the work review was over the top. Calling existing customers during and after regular banking hours to solicit new business is not for everybody, let alone on top of your primary job responsibilities. Hell, I was in sales and hated calling strangers on the phone to set-up appointments. I knew exactly how she felt. If she wanted to be a teacher, then do it. I paid the mortgage and utilities and she brought us all the soup and bread sticks we could eat.

I also grew tired of my sales job, basically a door to door salesman preying on the elderly. Final expense and Medicare Advantage plans were my bread and butter. The idea is simple and needed by many uninsured seniors in our country. The practical implementation of the job is a distorted version of how the Industry should conduct business. Morally, I had a difficult time persuading very low income retirees to part with a substantial amount of their monthly income on the promise their children would be thankful upon their death. The fact was, they would be thankful, but could the social security checks pay for all the monthly necessities and a life insurance policy too? Many could if they were careful with non-needed items, but many could not. The doughnut hole would cause many to cancel the policy and try to start it again the following year. That's bad for business and a waste of money for them. The Medicare Advantages plans were easier to sale, but required more knowledge to sell the right way. Many agents would promise the moon on their mothers' grave, get a signature and disappear into the wind. The recipients of a health plan not suitable for their needs and unsure how to fix it. I would find these poor souls bewildered and angered by the betrayal of someone they welcomed into their home. The idea of setting in a trailer park or section 8 housing complex listening to dying people lie to my face about their current and past health condition as cockroaches crawled on the walls and my briefcase sparked a need for change in my life. I switched gears and started selling supplemental insurance in the workplace. Same concept, different environment. I found and enticed several large Industrial Associations, looking for disability insurance, my plans would benefit them. My insurance company, worried about the escalating impact of the Affordable Care Act, said no to the Association idea but wanted all the contact information. I may have been born at night but it wasn't last night, so I left the Insurance Industry and temporarily found myself back in the no mans land of furniture manufacturing. It wasn't ideal, but the bills were paid and we went forward in life.

We had contemplated the idea of moving to another state with a better economy, but not knowing people outside of North Carolina made this challenging. Texas looked promising, but Texas is a big ass state. What do you do just throw a dart at a map and say that's it? Of course you don't, but how much can the internet really tell you about the best places to work and live in an entire state! North Dakota was hiring everybody, but damn it's North Dakota! Not that North Dakota isn't a fine state to work and live in, it's just too cold and too far from the beach for our liking. OK, I will now have to visit North Dakota one day before I die.

Traveling has always been a passion of mine, even though it rarely happened in my youth. A short trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina twice and Cherokee Reservation, North Carolina once were much appreciated treats. My biggest trip came from my uncle Allen when he took my brother and me to Florida for a couple of weeks. We had a blast visiting different places, even though our behavior was somewhat questionable. He took us to Marineland, Sea World, Circus World, an Alligator Farm and various other tourists spots. He died several years later and I doubt he knew how much we really appreciated him for taking us on that trip.

After my eighteenth birthday I went to Cancun, Mexico with a group of friends from high school. That is another story for another time. To summarize, I really enjoyed just being in a different environment and experiencing new life styles. The only problem was money or the lack of it and not knowing other means to travel abroad. This new passion started in 1991, before we had the internet and knowledge came from a place called "The Library". Alexander County to this day only has around thirty-two thousand residents, in the whole county. Not a lot of world travelers to mentor would be globetrotters. I made my way back to Cancun several more times and partied in Vegas, but mainly explored neighboring States. The desire was always there, just waiting for the right moment to set it in motion.

After a decade of the bar scene and late night parties, sitting at home on the weekend watching television was the new normal. So when House Hunters International had a segment on Dubai, the fire started to burn. The city looked amazing and the lifestyle was straight out of a magazine. The prospect of living in a Skyscraper and jet setting around Europe was almost too good to be true. Why not get a job in the Middle East and live like rich people!

We searched online for weeks, looking for real reviews from teachers already placed in Dubai. Several posts on YouTube painted a wonderful picture with modern high-rise apartments and picture perfect classrooms. Along with many videos highlighting well known tourist attractions such as the Burj Khalifa, the Burj Al Arab, and infamous Palms Jumeirah and The World islands. The Burj Khalifa skyscraper dominates the Dubai skyline standing at 2,722 ft. making it the tallest building in the world. The Burj Al Arab is a sail-shaped beachfront hotel repeatedly voted most luxurious in the world. And just off the shore of Dubai are the manmade islands of Palm Jumeriah and The World. The Palm Jumeriah is roughly shaped like a palm leaf while The World mirrors the continents of the world.

This may have somewhat affected our judgement after reading some negative blogs from experienced expats. While most reviews were positive, other negative reviews seemed too outlandish to be true. Some people are bound to find issues while living abroad, whether it was school placement or bad neighbors. No matter where you go, everyone will not be happy. So, suppress the bad and focus on the good. All we really read was tax free salary, free housing, health insurance, and airfare home each summer. And we will be able to travel around Europe. Throw caution to the wind and live life to the fullest. What a great opportunity for both of us.

Samantha only had one year as a full-time teacher and two years part-time. She substituted K-6 grades her first year. School budget cuts had caused some positions to be split between two teachers working part-time for the entire year. Her second year was Special Education Teacher working half days with another teacher so the school didn't pay benefits. We found several recruiting agencies and applied to three of the most popular in our searches. Two of the agencies suggested she wait one year before applying because of her lack of experience. The third didn't see a problem, so that's who she went with.

The interview process started online with a follow-up phone interview. Samantha was then asked to come in for a personal interview. That was exciting news. It sounded like she had a good shot at getting this wonderful position. The only downside being the interview would be in New York, NY. That's a 9 hour drive from Hickory, NC. I did not want to drive to or in New York City, so I offered to pay for the plane ticket so she could fly to NYC and back home the same day. For some people this may be normal, but for us it was very unusual. Fun fact: Samantha has problems with heights and airplanes and doing things alone for the first time. So all she needed to do was board a plane alone, fly to the largest city in the U.S., interview for a life changing job, find her way to a different airport and fly home. I didn't see a problem. I only had 2 weeks' notice to book the flight and convince Samantha she could do it. So with some liquid courage and a pat on the back from me and several close friends she reluctantly agreed. I dropped her off at the airport and wished luck her. Samantha looked very nervous and I had doubts about not going with her, but she needed to do this on her own. If we were going to move to a foreign country she needed to get out of her comfort zone and "man-up" so to speak.

She called me after arriving at the Hotel the interview would be conducted in and seemed to be in much better spirits. I told Samantha to enjoy the big city adventure and reassured her everything would be fine no matter what the outcome of the interview. It must have felt cool just to fly into NYC for a job interview. I wish we could have made it a mini vacation, but we didn't have the money blow.

I didn't speak with her again until I picked her up at the airport in Charlotte. I was a little worried, but thought her phone must have died. Samantha acted aggravated and short with my questions. Very typical of her personality, but this seemed different. She said the interview went horrible and someone stole her phone. Not the news I had hoped for, but that's life. Not wanting to talk about it, we made our way home stopping for a bite to eat since Samantha was starving from her trip. After some nourishment, I asked for a rundown of the day's events so we could learn from them and move forward with a new plan. I had her start from the point after our phone call. This is what she told me:

" _I had some time to kill so I went for a walk down the street. I wanted to take a picture, but everyone had told me not to. I was supposed to act like I lived there and not a tourist. I wanted to try a New York hot dog, but I didn't want to get anything on my outfit before my interview. Then I made my way to the interview area and waited for my turn. There was a large group of us watching the interviewers. There were two rooms with two interviewers each. The applicants leaving one room looked happy, the applicants leaving the other room looked confused or stunned. I hoped to get the nice room, but of course I got the mean one. The two men asked stupid questions and kept interrupting my answers. They seemed more interested in my reaction to student conduct and how I would communicate with parents than my teaching abilities or education background. That was the worst interview I've ever had. I just wanted to get home after that. We were told a shuttle to the airport would be provided, but later told there wasn't enough time. I then started looking for my phone and couldn't find it. I was feeling very stressed and started to cry. I filled out a lost property form at the hotel and they arranged for a taxi to the airport. The taxis rides were very expensive and I was low on cash so I bought a banana for lunch that cost five dollars. The plane was nearly empty on the flight back, like something out of a horror movie, because Hurricane Sandy was bearing down on us making it bumpy the whole way home."_

Sounded like a full day for sure, but I knew there was still a chance she got the job. Things seemed much better when the hotel called saying they found her phone and would mail it ASAP. What are the odds of losing a cell phone in NYC and have someone find it and mail it back to you? We bought a few lottery tickets, but didn't win nothing. We went about our daily routines with fingers crossed and couple of weeks later Samantha got an email saying she made it through the interview process and would start in January 2013 or August 2013. Hot damn, party time! Samantha couldn't believe it, but she did it. Now the reality of making this dream come true had a timetable and legal formalities. She had a list of documents to be authenticated by the State and Federal government and submitted before a plane ticket would be issued. Not wanting to leave her students or school in the middle of the year, she opted for the August start date. Everything was now moving forward like a slow motion train wreck.

The whole time we searched for recruiters, Dubai was always mentioned in the reasons to teach in the U.A.E. and surprised when Samantha mentioned the job was in Abu Dhabi and maybe the western region. Ok, not in Dubai, but in the U.A.E. capital city of Abu Dhabi. That's a hell of a lot closer than Hickory, NC.

What was the western region and how far away from Dubai was it? So, the U.A.E. is made up of 7 Emirates, which are similar to states in the USA. They are Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah, Ajman, Fujairah, Ras al-Khaimah, and Umm al-Quwain. Each governed by ruling Families and the Federal Supreme Council. I found it confusing each Emirate has a city by the same name. The emirate of Abu Dhabi is home to the Capital city of Abu Dhabi. The emirate of Dubai is home to the world famous city of Dubai. Abu Dhabi is the largest Emirate in the U.A.E., so we could live in Abu Dhabi, but not live in the city. The western region of Abu Dhabi covers about two thirds of the entire U.A.E. It's mainly sand dunes with several towns scattered hours apart. So Dubai could be 2 hours away or 5 hours away depending on which desert town you live in. We understood the western region could be a possibility, but the recruiter assured us married couples very rarely get placed outside the city of Abu Dhabi.

The process was simple enough. Leave everyone you know and sell or store all of your earthly possessions and move half way around the world to parts unknown. Having no children made this process much easier for us, but the U.A.E. is a very child friendly country and many Expats move with children in tow. It's ridiculous how much stuff two people can accumulate in a few years. I wonder how much stuff a family of four or five would have and what to do with it all. Emptying our closets we found clothes with tags still on them and household items never even opened. I wouldn't call us hoarders, but do two people need four spatulas, two sets of pans, eight wine glasses or three bottle openers? A lot of items we never really used. Seven coats and fifty pairs of shoes and trash bags full of clothing all went to charity. The house was always clean and things neatly arranged with open areas to walk around and entertain guests, but several cabinets and closets were piled full of I don't know what. We had 10 months to prepare and it took most of that time to complete our tasks. Selling the condo and moving into temporary housing took several months. And after several weekend yard sales and charity loads we had a manageable amount of personal possessions to put in storage. Fortunately some close friends allowed us to stay with them during our last weeks in the States.

The other dubious task was explaining our decision to family and friends. So it went something like this; Samantha has accepted a teaching position in the U.A.E. The job includes a tax free salary, free housing, health insurance, and airfare home each summer. We are moving to the U.A.E. in August.

The responses were usually as follows:

Them: What and where is the U.A.E?

Me: The United Arab Emirates in the Middle East. It's a Muslim country with a very open outlook on other lifestyles and religions.

Them: So you're moving to a country with terrorists? Is this a joke?

Me: No, it's not a terrorist state and no it's not a joke.

Them: Why are you moving there?

Me: The job includes a tax free salary, free housing, health insurance, and airfare home each summer. And we will be able to travel around Europe. It's only a five or six hour flight to places like Italy, Greece, or Turkey. This is a great opportunity for both of us.

Them: I wouldn't do it, it's too dangerous.

Me: It is near some of the more hostile countries, but the U.A.E. is very safe for Westerners. Have you heard of Dubai? It's located in the U.A.E.

Them: Dubai, I would love to live there.

Me: Really!

A few people we told understood the wonderful opportunity by expressing their excitement for us as they asked to visit once we were settled. I didn't think it was that big a deal. People move around the world every day. It's not for ever, we will be back.

After people got use to the idea of us moving away, goodbye parties were planned and the wild and sometimes scary stories about the Middle East were relayed to us. Not just the warning of terrorist plots, but other misunderstandings. Like Samantha would have to walk 50 feet in front of me in case of a landmine or women are second class citizens and property owned by men. Both ridiculous, but some other countries do treat woman poorly. I walk behind Samantha sometimes as a joke, but she doesn't think I'm funny. Some information was half true. Like all women must wear shaylas and abayas. Women should dress modestly but shorts and bare arms are ok outside of work and government buildings. Moving to a foreign country will not only require the understanding of cultural differences, but the adoption of certain local practices as well.

# Chapter 2

# Landing on Foreign Soil

Traveling from western N.C. to the U.A.E. took around 19 hours from Charlotte International airport with one layover in Chicago and then straight to Abu Dhabi on Etihad Airways. Samantha's employer arranged and paid for our flight. Economy class all the way, but free none the less. This was our first time to the windy city. While we didn't have time to explore the city, we can say we've been to Illinois. I knew the great lakes were enormous, but to see them from the plane was awesome. It's truly amazing what Mother Nature can do with ice and time. The flight was crowded and a baggage Nazi was stopping everybody. A little Asian woman was checking the size and weight of all carry-on baggage. We made it through Charlotte ok, but got worried after witnessing so many passengers being forced to check normal looking carry-on bags. People knocked off wheels to make their bags fit. I shoved my bag into the size checker and it got stuck for a second when trying to pull it back out. She gave me a scornful look, but waved me through. Luckily Samantha made it through without incident. Before traveling we had weighed all of the bags and moved items around to ensure all met the airlines weight restrictions. So when Chicago had us re-check our luggage and one was over the limit by 7 pounds I knew something was amiss. Two bags were at the weight limit and another was over by half a pound, but the attendant let it slide. We had no wiggle room in our carry-ons so we were charged $100 for the "overweight" bag. C'est la vie.

The nonstop flight from Chicago to Abu Dhabi was about 14 hours. That's the longest flight we've ever be on. The plane was at full capacity with lots of children. They ranged from screaming infants to bored primary school kids, running up and down the aisles. Up and down, up and down. Each seat had a bag full of goodies to help ease the stress of such a long flight. Ours had an eye mask, ear plugs, socks, ear buds, tooth brush and tooth paste. A small pillow and blanket was also laid in each seat. Thankfully each passenger had a touchscreen for entertainment. It's built-in the back of the seat of the person in front of you. It can be annoying when that person reclines the seat all the way back, but hey it's only 14 hours of our life. 14 hours you can never get back. I put the ear buds on and found several movies to watch and turned the volume up as loud as could stand it. Samantha opted for the eye mask and music to drown out the noise. This helped to drown out the unwanted noise for maybe 5 hours. After watching 3 movies my butt and legs were numb. Walking around helped some, but a crowded plane is no fun. We would drift in and out of sleep and a stewardess would come around and offer refreshments from time to time. The minutes seemed like hours and the hours seemed like days during the last 6 hours of that flight.

As bad as the flight seemed to us, Lady Luck was far crueler to another passenger we later became friends with. She was placed at the same school as Samantha and sat several rows behind us next to a screaming infant. As luck would have it, her touch screen didn't work during the entire flight. With no empty seats available she had to endure the nightmarish conditions with no relief. Lady Luck can be such a bitch. What a great way to make a first impression on such a life changing decision. We read using ear plugs will help keep infants quiet as it's the ear pressure that can upset them, but IDK.

We were in a dazed state when the plane finally touched down in Abu Dhabi. A representative from Samantha's company greeted us as we walked through the gate, which was nice since we didn't really know what we were doing. At this point we realized just how many other teachers were on our flight as a group of more than twenty formed as passengers exited the plane. And there were more planes with even more teachers. There was some confusion as to where we needed to go in the airport. We were temporally separated because Samantha being an employee had to have an eye scan and I did not. She entered the country on a working visa good for two years and I was issued a tourist visa good for only thirty days. This would become important later on in our story. It was after midnight before being shuttled off in two large tour buses full of dazed and confused newbie teachers to our hotel, the InterContinental Abu Dhabi.

That's two buses full of hot and tired strangers rolling through the dark streets of an unfamiliar city in a foreign country before being shuffled to a staging room in the hotel and being stripped of our passports. The company did a great job handling that many people at one time. But. We had never been this far away from home with this many strangers in a Muslim country and man was it hot outside. Silly thoughts can creep into your mind when you're tired and stressed. All that went away after finding our 5 star accommodations. We sat on the bed as the bellhop delivered our bags. He said something I couldn't understand so he repeated it; still I didn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. This was just a precursor to the many confusing conversations I would have with people in this country. I handed him a tip and off he went. This was the first time in over 24 hours we could just relax and get some rest.

Hot and humid doesn't truly describe the climate in the U.A.E. Our flight landed around 10pm, but there was no relief as the temperature was 108° with a real feel of 115°. You walk outside for the first time and it just hits you like a brick wall. It's like a free sauna everywhere you go. We thought if it's this hot at night what would it feel like during the day? People must surely burst into flames. They don't really, but it is hotter during the day.

You're a long way from the foothills of North Carolina when the bath room has a second toilet without a lid and marble floors. I've stayed in hotels with a bidet before, but this one had a phone and water sprayer beside the toilet and a drain in the floor. This could be for the elderly or people in a hurry to get things done, whatever floats your boat. I did find a bit of redneck ingenuity with a retractable clothes line over the bathtub. The lights were controlled by touch pads on the wall near the bed and entry door. The TV displayed a welcome message with Samantha's name on it, boy that sure was fancy! The next several days we spent lounging around the pool and wandering the grounds by the hotel. The outside pool water was chilled and it felt great because it sure was hot outside. Once home to only the elite upper class and world renowned travelers, the Intercontinental Hotel looked very outdated compared to other nearby buildings. The rich history forgotten in time saved only by pictures hung on the wall of the countries founder, late Sheikh Zayed, holding world conferences with other political dignitaries in the grand ball room. It was awesome to stay in the same hotel as the rich and famous of yesteryear.

Getting use to the prayer times in Abu Dhabi can be nerve racking at first, but the music is soothing. However 4:32 am is a little early for a wake-up call. The entire city echoes with the call to prayer five times a day as devout Muslims make their way to the Mosques erected on every block. The times are determined by the position of the sun and vary by geographical location. Not sure how this would work in the Arctic Circle, but I'm sure they have a plan for such circumstances. The five prayers are pre-dawn, midday, afternoon, sunset, and night. The prayers are performed while facing the Kaaba in Mecca, Saudi Arabia. This is considered the most sacred site in Islam. Muslims must wash before prayer to purify the body. Clean water is preferred, but sand or dust may be used in its place. We asked a Muslim friend if women were allowed to pray in Mosques and she said " _I don't because the men would be tempted by watching me bend over. This is not the proper Muslim way"_. Woman can attend Mosques in separate areas away from the men, but many pray privately.

We weren't familiar with public transportation, but it has its advantages. Like most large cities parking isn't free, well except for the Malls. Most of the malls have free parking with the option of valet services. The local city buses were only 2 dirhams per person. That's like 54 cent. The only downside is waiting in the heat. There are a few air conditioned bus stops, but not enough for the summer heat. Did I mention it is very hot in the U.A.E.?

Taxis can be nice if you know where you are and how to get where you want to go. Again the language barrier can be a nightmare. Most taxi drivers speak Hindi, Bengali, Urdu, Panjabi, (and other South Asian dialects), Arabic and sometimes English. The road signs can be very confusing to English speaking people with the same names being used more than once. It helps to know what zone you're in. And of course the posted road signs will be listed differently in the GPS devices and the taxi drivers will probably know the roads by a totally different name. The best way to communicate is with landmarks. The bigger the building, the easier it will be to spot. I'll put anyone of these taxi drivers against a NASCAR driver any day! It's a drag race from light to light, just inches apart from the next two cars or buses. The tires squeal around each turn and the horn works like a turn signal. If you let the car in front get a half car length ahead, someone tries to cut you off. I was very nervous when we started driving in that hot mess, but we've kind of gotten used to it.

After a week we still didn't know which school Samantha would be placed or where our housing would be. We did know our apartment wouldn't be furnished, so we went on a little adventure to kill some time. We took a cab to Marina Mall so we could catch a free ride to IKEA, on the IKEA shuttle. What better place to scope out some new home furnishings. It's located right beside Ferrari World and Ace Hardware on Yas Island. The place was of course slammed with people from all over the world, all co-existing, shopping for cabinetry and bed linens. And you know a trip to IKEA wouldn't be complete without sampling their world famous meatballs.

# Chapter 3

# Reality Check

Judgement day finally came for all the new teachers a few days before school started. They gathered several hundred excited professionals from around the globe in a u shaped conference room. Everyone was so happy; they would finally know the name of their school. The teachers were called out one by one and received an envelope containing a contract to sign and location of their school. Man, it was like Christmas came early. Sounds of joy and laughter filled the room as people started tearing those envelopes open. It took us over a year of planning and working toward this single goal to get this far. This is what many of us had been waiting for. Or so we thought. The look on some faces painted a different picture. It was a picture of shock and disbelief. Several newbies stomped away in disgust while murmuring to themselves. The room was abuzz with energy, some good some bad. Samantha made her way to the front of the room to retrieve that golden ticket. She hurried back to her seat beside me and opened the envelope. As we read the documents our excitement faded, replaced by disappointment. Samantha had been placed in the western region about one and half hours from Abu Dhabi and two hours from Dubai. This was a bummer, but not a deal breaker. We knew it was a possibility, even though married couples are usually placed in Abu Dhabi. We learned there was a big shortage of teachers in the west so other married couples were placed with us. In a land time forgot. Still others had been placed in Abu Dhabi and would never know the desert way of life.

Tilal Liwa Hotel

A note was placed under our hotel door instructing us to be ready for placement the next morning. After breakfast everyone's luggage was piled in open bed trucks before we boarded more tour buses. We left our 5 star hotel in Abu Dhabi to travel two hours west into the desert toward our new hotel, the Tilal Liwa. The ride seemed to last forever as we made our way out of the city, the one familiar thing in this foreign land. We watched as the buildings slowly faded replaced by flat desert land and open sky. The road lined with trees and nothing but sand beyond. No housing, no gas stations, nothing but the occasional road to nowhere. The bus was silent like a death march. As the bus veered in a different direction a sign appeared welcoming us to the Western Region. The road traffic almost disappeared. The flat sand began to rise forming a sea of sand dunes mimicking ocean waves frozen in time. The mood was momentarily lifted by the sight of camels wandering the shifting sand. We wondered where they came from and how they survived in this hostile environment.

The small town of Madinat Zayed was a welcome sight. The desert came alive once again with people and buildings. The funny cubed shaped City mall stood in stark contrast to the other weathered and dated industrial buildings. Several parks lined the road catching the eye with bright green grass and colorful playground equipment. If you blinked too long you would miss it, but there were grocery stores, restaurants, and other services to qualify as an Oasis.

We continued past the town, back out into the desert following the signs to the Camel Racetrack. Slowly we drove down the twisting two lane road out to the Tilal Liwa Hotel. The remoteness reminded me of someplace diabolical like Bates Motel or Hotel California, but was really quite nice and family friendly. So they moved us from a 5 star hotel to a 4 star hotel. Not so bad. We were in the middle of no freaking where, but this was doable.

The hotel surrounded a courtyard filled with outdoor games and activities. The enormous swimming pool was eye catching, highlighted by a large scale chess set, a trampoline (yes, a trampoline) and picnic areas. The endless pool was temperature controlled and overlooked the desert. A friendly pool attendant placed a towel on the lounge chair of our choosing. The restaurants were upscale and the service was great. A lounge offered live singers and a full bar.

Samantha's school was still an hour and a half away in the tiny town of Mirfa. We were supposed to be placed at the Mirfa Hotel, but it had no vacancies. This was twice as long as her recruiter promised the longest commute would, but it's only temporary right? Her company provided transportation to and from school until our permanent placement in Mirfa. But that meant a 4:30 am wake-up call to catch the 5:30 am shuttle to Mirfa. The hotel served breakfast early for all the teachers and many made sandwiches for lunch. Living out of hotels for 3 weeks had been fun, but cost a lot of money. The breakfast buffets were free, but all other meals cost us money so we decided to venture into Madinat Zayed for supplies. We arranged for a taxi to take us into town, but had no real idea where to go. The driver knew little English, but he showed us a few places to eat as we drove up the main strip and let us out at the local grocery store, the Co-op.

This was a far cry from the grandeur of the stores in Abu Dhabi. The buildings appeared run down and dirty with higher priced products and limited choices. Samantha became frustrated and nervous as we walked around. Everyone seemed to be staring at us more than normal. I knew MZ (Madinat Zayed) would be a small rural town occupied with low wage workers, but it did feel a bit dangerous walking around by ourselves. There were large groups of men walking around and just hanging out on the street. I had a knife in my pocket purchased from a store in Abu Dhabi, what good it would do I didn't know. At least I had something. No one acted aggressive or even rude. Maybe we were being overly cautious in our new surroundings. Small town people tend to be more curious about change and new people, from my experience anyway.

It was hot so we didn't walk far and had dinner at a nearby Pizza Hut. Checking out the Co-op next door we bought cold cuts and bread for our room. It was getting dark so we called our cab guy and he sent someone for us. The new guy was quite old and unfamiliar with our hotel, as he passed the exit Samantha became worried. She said out loud, "you passed our exit", the driver unfazed just kept driving. I got the look, the you had better do something look. I leaned toward the driver and said you passed our hotel; make a U-turn up a head please. Now, we're on a one-way, four lane highway with a concrete divider and he pulls on to the shoulder to ask us for directions. By this time we're about a mile past the exit. He didn't understand me and I didn't understand him. I finally said Camel Race track and a light came on. The driver thinks for a moment, then he puts it in reverse and away we go! The wrong way down the highway, at night, in a foreign country, in a taxi driven by another foreigner. I wish we had pictures of our faces, as people tend to laugh at other people when they're scared silly. We stared out the back window praying not to become a statistic. A couple of cars and a bus flashed their lights at us as they flew past our taxi without incident. He then stopped and did a U-turn, now facing traffic. Luckily no other cars came our way as the driver swerved down the correct exit. It was a quiet ride out to the hotel as we hoped to make it there in one piece. Lesson learned; always make sure the driver knows where he's going. We stayed at that secluded hotel for 2 weeks before being moved not to Mirfa but back to Abu Dhabi.

This is hard to believe, but it happened. Somehow there wasn't any available housing in Mirfa, so we were placed in MZ instead. The housing in MZ wasn't ready, but the Tilal Hotel had pre-booked our rooms to other people. Because the small desert towns only have one hotel per area, we were forced back to Abu Dhabi and placed in the Novotel Hotel. It was nice to be out of the desert, but it was still an hour and a half from Samantha's school. We spent two more weeks in the hotel before we official moved into our apartment.

We had the power and water turned on and some furniture delivered before moving in. The first night there, we had no water. Unbeknownst to us the water heater had busted, flooding the apartment the night before. The maintenance guys shut the water off until the water heater could be fixed. Luckily the floors were all tile so no real damage. Such a smooth transition from start to finish, right?

So we started settling into our new environment, setting up the apartment with modern comforts. We had purchased all appliances from one store to help simplify delivery and cost. And because delivery was free over a certain amount we did the same for our sofa and bed. Starting with a minimalist approach we did add things as time went on.

# Chapter 4

# Getting to Know the U.A.E.

All around the world people are just people. We may talk different or dress different, but the core traits are still present. Social behavior in the U.A.E. is very comparable to the US. The young kids act the same with short attention spans highlighted with silly behavior. The teenagers are self-involved and lost in their smart phones. The twenty somethings are busy starting families and thirty somethings are building businesses. The older parents nudge the kids out of the nest and spoil the grandchildren. Commonly known as the cycle of life around the world. The difference is in the details. Back home people drive around with pets in their car, maybe a dog or cat. In the U.A.E. they drive around with hunting Falcons. It's not uncommon to have horses in the US, but here camels are king. Western parents dream of hand picking a suitable spouse for their children. In the east, it's a common and accepted practice in today's society.

What English do You Speak?

The U.A.E. is home to many different nationalities from all around the world. It's a melting pot of cultures and ideas brought together by the allure of prosperity. With the many different cultures, come many different languages. This can make communication challenging but not impossible. A surprise to us was the difference in English spellings, pronunciations, and meanings by different English speaking countries. This was more amusing than problematic and led to several debates between colleagues as to which one was correct. Most of the time it was American English versus British English, but not always. The Brits would always argue it's called English and not American for a reason. The reason being it originated in England and not the States, therefore the British version is correct and the American version is rubbish. I would argue all language changes over time and even Britain's version has been manipulated by modern terms. The U.S. has many different slang words and accents specific to certain geographical regions, but basic terms are universal throughout the country. Similarly, we can distinguish between Scottish, Irish, British, Australian, and South African accents even though most of the core terms are the same. Every country has slang words commonly used in specific geographical regions, but once you learn the lingo, friendly interactions come naturally. I saw several videos online discussing the many different accents and word meanings around the world. The cool method to learn new words and accents was the accent challenge. A list of questions and words meant to be read aloud in front of other people or online. I think this is a great way to learn and have fun at the same time. This is my version of the accent challenge.

The Accent challenge

Where are you from?

Pronounce the following words:

Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Salmon, Caramel, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Naturally, Aluminum, Buoy, Tumblr, Envelope, Polka Dots, Papaya, Battery, Garage, Shallots, Basil, Herbs, Vase, Adidas, Nikon, Z, Foyer, Fillet, Zebra

How do you spell: color/colour, tire/tyre, pajamas/pyjamas, airplane/aeroplane, math/maths

What do you put in your car to make it go?

The room used to entertain guests in a house.

The room used to relieve one's self.

What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call your grandparents and parents?

What is the wheeled contraption in which you carry your groceries at the supermarket?

What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?

What do you call the multi colored (red, yellow, green) vegetables?

What do call the purple colored vegetable? (sometimes shaped like a egg)

What do you call shoes used for exercise?

What is the boxed pasta dinner flavored with cheese?

What do you call the built-in compartment located on the passenger side of a vehicle?

What do you call the rear section of a car used for storage?

What do you call the outdoor area of a property covered in grass?

What do you call a pouch worn around the waist?

The bread used for a sandwich.

Interchangeable Terms

Mall Life

Malls of all sizes, old and new are the focal point of daily shopping and social interaction in much of the U.A.E. They usually offer better shopping options for food, electronics, and of-course clothes than the small shops. I avoided the malls back home because most were filled with over priced items and young loud kids. And by kids I mean anyone under 21. But since arriving here, I have found myself actually looking for malls and appreciating all they have to offer. You want to check out a new movie, the mall, an American restaurant, the mall, the regional equivalent to Wal-Mart, you go to the mall. So we go to a Mall at least once a week for something or another.

Every mall we've visited had a children's entertainment center usually located near the food court. Similar to a Chuck E. Cheese on steroids filled with scaled down kiddie carnival rides like roller coasters, the octopus, bumper cars, and swings. With flashing lights and crazy sounds that directs your attention to the indoor jungle. You could call it kid heaven and adult hell. The games are endless and the fun never stops as long as you have cash or credit cards. The larger malls offer kiddie rides on an indoor train, which is a golf cart made to look like a train. The trains have loud speakers blaring train sounds and kids music, so you hear them before you can see them. It might as-well be the damn ice cream man. Kids love a train.

We have found some small shops offering good deals, but they're usually a specialty store and aren't conveniently located in the west. Some of the small shops take advantage of Westerners and charge more for merchandise. I've read Emiratis are often over charged because everyone assumes they all have money to burn, which is not true. Be prepared to haggle in any store, whether it's in the Mall or small mini-mart. The chain stores are a safer choice, but prices do sometimes ring-up different than as marked. Just like anywhere in the world.

The oddest thing is the sheer number of employees in the entire country, from the gas stations to the supermarkets and department stores. Somebody will pump your gas, push a buggy to your car, or deliver whatever you desire to your home. Can you imagine just pulling up in front of a store and blowing your horn until someone runs out to take care of your needs? This is common practice in many areas that have adequate parking, but could I never bring myself to do it. That's the customer service side of business almost extinct in the United States from companies reducing staff to turn profits. To be fair, U.A.E. labor is relatively cheap with access to millions of people looking for any chance to better their lives from nearby countries. By American standards a lot of jobs are hard labor and low pay with terrible living conditions, but most workers are thankful for the opportunity. It's a lower standard of living most westerners are accustomed to, but better than the reality those people came from. All the people I've spoken with enjoy working and living in the U.A.E. with no plans of returning home.

How to Dress

Coming from America, revealing clothing is common practice and frankly part of our culture. It's a way to express oneself. Or attract a boyfriend or girlfriend. The same rings true in the U.A.E. on a more conservative level. Instead of showing skin, the fabric quality and stitching along with cleanliness are the way many dress to impress.

Emirati men wear a white garment commonly referred to as the Kandura, which covers the entire body from the neck down to the ankles. Very similar to the cassock robe worn by Christian clergymen. It's not polite to ask what is and what is not worn beneath the Kandura, but I've been told most wear a piece of white cloth wrapped and tied around the hips called a Woozar. Emirati men also wear head garments known as Ghutras and Shimaghs. Typically worn in summer months, the Ghutra is a light white fabric held in place by an Agal, a rope like band fitting snuggly around one's head. The Shimagh, typically worn in winter months, is usually checkered red and white or black and white fabric tied around the head similar to a turban. While most men still prefer the white Kandura, some men have adopted wearing the American ball cap in place of the traditional head dress. Sandals are seen as formal wear and worn by most men with white being the most popular color.

Emirati women wear a black garment similar to the Kandura commonly called an Abaya, loosely covering the body as not to show a woman's curves. A head scarf, known as a Shayla, is worn covering the neck and hair and sometimes a veil covering the mouth or whole face. The manner of how it's worn is up to the woman or sometimes her husband. A metal or leather mask is sometimes worn by older women called the Batoola, known as a traditional garment worn by the Bedouin tribal people. The first time I saw a woman wearing a Batoola, I thought she had a mustache. Tattoos are taboo in the Muslim world, but temporary henna markings are allowed. From the very young to the very old, women proudly show off the beautiful hand drawn art work usually covering the hands. Must have accessories are designer hand bags and trendy high heel shoes. Some younger women have taken to the rebellious act of dying their hair and exposing a small amount from under the Shayla. Make-up is frowned upon but tolerated with most women flaunting bold lipstick and smokey eyes.

I had assured Samantha the best place to buy clothes suitable for living overseas would be clothes sold overseas. We didn't need to fill our suitcases with clothes we could buy in the U.A.E. Besides what woman doesn't like to shop? Imagine our surprise when we saw the malls filled with short shorts, lingerie, and skimpy outfits. Surprisingly, the mannequins even looked sexy with erect nipples and suggestive poses. There were subtle differences with color patterns and unfamiliar brand names, but undoubtedly the world market has no boundaries. Finding school suitable attire was limited to small sections in most stores. Samantha gave me that look, the I told you so look. I assumed wrong. Not the first time and not the last time.

We were told locals wear the western clothes underneath the traditional clothing in public, but wear it openly at home or friends houses. Most women embrace wearing traditional clothes in public because they feel relaxed and unburdened by social status. Having a bad hair day, cover it up with a Shayla. Don't want to put on make-up, cover your whole face and nobody bats an eye. Although some women wear traditional clothes so they will be treated as Emiratis, even if they are not. How can anybody really tell the difference between Nationals and other Arab expats?

It's not unusual to see a group of 5 or more women walking together completely covered in black, with the children and nannies in toe. As outsiders, we've often wondered how they know who is who. Samantha has being greeted by Arabic co-teachers outside of school and had no idea who they were until the face veil was lifted. The loose shapes of the abayas and covered faces make it difficult to identify one person from another person. I guess the handbags and shoes help mark each person and parent from the other. Non Emirati Arabs tend to add more color and variety to their wardrobes with a colored head wrap or blue jeans without the Shayla.

A man having more than one wife is an accepted practice in some Muslim countries. Usually the first wife must agree with the Husband taking a second wife or she has the option to divorce him. The family dynamic seems so strange to us westerners and not to mention illegal in most places. Two women married to one man are known as sister wives. The children will refer to the other mother as sister or brother mom when describing their family. Sometimes the wives will live in separate towns and the father will divide his time between the two families. How would it feel to be the middle child of a second wife?

I dare not ask about sexual habits and desires between three married people and the correct etiquette and conversation amongst them. Having two families living in different cities seems easier to manage, but living away from your children sounds unpractical. If the family goes out to eat who decides where to go? Who disciplines whose child? What if one wife is a better cook than the other? I could ask questions all day and not really want the answers. It's a situation I'll never find myself in, but I must give respect to those who make it work.

A very surprising secret social habit was revealed one late evening during a conversation among seasoned Expats warning us newbies to beware of the sex malls. We looked at each other and laughed, what are sex malls? Well the word on the street was men looking for a hook-up with no obligations need only go to certain malls and whisper they're phone number and wait for a call back for the time and parking lot area. Yes a quickie in the back parking area with no worries because the nannies are the alibi and may have secrets of their own. I didn't get all the details on how you spot an available female that is covered from head to toe, but the shoes and handbags may be a clue. A fellow newbie female teacher confessed to being approached in this manner by a strange man. She was in a book store when this guy walked up and whispered his number. She naturally said excuse me and with a big smile he repeated his number. As she stood there bewildered, the man said put number in phone. It took a moment but it finally clicked, this guy was trying to pick her up with a very straight forward technique. She declined but the guy was persistent and gently took her phone and called his phone and walked away. She stood there for a moment trying to understand this very strange turn of events, when she got a text from a number without a name. Of course she had to read it, she couldn't just erase and block the strange man's number not now. The text read back parking lot black range rover ten minutes. She claims to have just laughed the whole experience off as a lesson learned and never let a stranger grab her phone again. Skeptical, I asked if the guy ever text again. She said yes, many times and mostly trying to woo her. We reminded her unmarried sex is a real crime and she would lose her job and maybe imprisoned if caught. She assured us nothing had happened and nothing was going to happen. She's a grown-up and can make her own decisions in life. I guess it's not much different than tinder.

Food and Drink

Islam prohibits the consumption of alcohol and pork. So you'll find mocktails and beef bacon in most restaurants. Others animals can be eaten if slaughtered properly, known as halal. To buy any type of alcohol you must first have a government issued license limiting quantity on a monthly basis. To further regulate alcohol consumption only certain stores can sale alcoholic beverages. Most hotels are allowed to sell alcoholic drinks, but not stand alone restaurants. Many American favorite franchises have made their way to the Middle East such as TGIF, Applebee's, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Fuddruckers, etc. Many have tempting menu pictures of familiar looking cocktails, but are really just mocktails. Only restaurants inside hotel buildings can serve real adult beverages. This helps to ensure Muslims can eat at halal restaurants and avoid breaking Islamic laws. Pork products can be purchased at some specialty stores in designated non-Muslim sections. Some hotels have even started catering to non-Muslims with pork items on the menus. We stayed at such a hotel and felt naughty eating real bacon in public.

The majority of restaurants offer anything but Emirati cuisine. You will find many other types of food from around the world. The U.A.E. population consists mainly of South-Asian expats so the restaurants reflect this demographic profile. So tikka and curry are king with shawarmas and kebabs a close second. Every corner has a Chinese, Japanese, Thai type noodles and rice place. Lebanese cuisine is popular with some Turkish places thrown in for good measure. You will find a plethora of coffee shops to choose from, usually filled with Emirati men when they're not smoking shisha.

Fresh bread is readily available as sweet breads are a common dessert. Chocolates and ice cream are of course very popular everywhere in the world and the U.A.E. is no exception. Who doesn't like a cold ice cream cone when summer temperatures are in excess of 100 degrees! We found a type of ice cream that won't easily melt in the extreme heat of the Middle East. The mixture is pounded by hand before being sprinkled with a variety of flavors, known to us as Arabic ice cream.

A not so surprising fact, the one food item found in virtually every restaurant was pizza. Of course there are standalone pizza parlors and delivery stands in most areas, but to see pizza at the Chinese or shawarma locations seemed out of place. We've always considered pizza an American or Italian food, but it is truly a worldwide food. The American food combination of hamburger and fries is almost as popular. Beef is sometimes substituted with other minced meats. The hamburger then becomes the chicken and fish burger or Arabic and vegan burger, all holding a large share of the hamburger market. The fries remained unchanged except for specialized seasonings giving way to names such as; Mexican fries, Italian fries, Arabic fries, and of course spicy fries. Chips and fries are universal terms in the U.A.E., so fries mean chips and chips mean fries unless you buy a bag of potato chips at the grocery store. A bag of chips are known as crisps and a bag of crisps are known as chips. Got it, good!

The few restaurants featuring traditional Emirati foods are typically upscale and not for everyday meals, well unless you are upper-class. Most nationals have great opportunities for prosperity granted by the government and family members. Contrary to popular belief, they're not all filthy rich by birth. Many have taken the bull by the horns and climbed the corporate ladder through hard work and determination. Others depend more on privilege and affluent social systems than hard work to prosper. All government jobs are to be filled by Emiratis first and only other nationalities if necessary. This helps to ensure nationals have good paying jobs with benefits and the government has dedicated workers. The downside is comparable to work unions with people not pulling their weight because they can't be fired or disciplined when needed. So to find an Emirati willing to slave all day in a hot kitchen catering to others is unlikely at best.

A little game we liked to play was called "What the heck is it?" We'd buy unknown exotic fruits and vegetables from the local market to see how they tasted. I will say unknown and exotic to us but not the local people. It was challenging to eat foods so foreign without knowing how or what parts were edible. Some of our favorites were the Lichi, Sarda, and Rambutan while the Soursop and Chickoo left a bad taste in our mouths. Most fresh food was very cheap unless you purchased imported foods from the Americas. The local foods have a shorter shelf life, but with less additives for healthier diet.

All major brands of soft drinks as well as many American fast food chains are thriving in the Middle East. The menus have been altered and the food is seasoned with unfamiliar herbs making a familiar meal in the U.S. taste very different abroad. A major difference may be what's not allowed in the food. The food industry is closely regulated by local governments, many banning certain types of preservatives allowed in American foods. If only the U.S. government would step-up and do the same thing. Do we really need that many chemicals in our food? I think not!

# Chapter 5

# Living in the Western Region

Our new home of Madinat Zayed is known as the capital in the Western Region of Abu Dhabi. It's an hour and a half drive south west from the city of Abu Dhabi. MZ has all the basic necessities, but lacks the cosmopolitan nightlife, museums and huge malls of the main city. The town is divided into sections; Residential, Industrial, and Commercial. MZ is not far from the Saudi Arabia border, along the leading edge of the Rub al Khali, the world's largest sand desert. The western region, collectively known as "Al Gharbia" is the ancestral birthplace of the Emirati people. Its main townships are Madinat Zayed, Liwa, Mirfa, Ruwais, Ghayathi, Sila, and Dalma Island. Towns are spread across the brutal landscape supported by the oil Industry as most of Abu Dhabi's oil comes from the western region. Traditional culture and heritage are still widely practiced and proudly preserved in this area. Camel racing, horse racing and falcon hunting are all very popular with competitions frequently held.

Living in the west has some advantages like free parking, no rush hour traffic, plenty of camels, and unlimited amount of free sand. The downsides would be limited choices, limited options, too much sand, and stuck in the west. Housing is usually bigger with decent parking, but grocery stores are few and far between. The few stores available must cater to large numbers of male oil and construction workers long deprived of female companionship. The non-blinking deep stares toward women are nothing short of eye rape. It doesn't matter the age, nationality, size or dress any women is fair game in the west. If you're a single lady looking for men to ogle over you, this is the place. The work week in the U.A.E. goes from Sunday to Thursday with Friday and Saturday the weekend. Many of the laborers only get Fridays off work, so when Thursday evening comes around the men come out in droves. Any place with grass is fair game for a social gathering as busloads of workers are dropped off from surrounding areas. The main shopping strip in MZ is overwhelmed with hundreds of desperate men looking for friendship and the Industrial area is a madhouse.

Want to buy some curtains or appliances, you have two choices. Either buy what the local stores have in stock from 2 years ago or drive an hour and half to Abu Dhabi and hope they deliver. Want to watch a movie or dine in a normal restaurant, drive to Abu Dhabi. Take a flight to a foreign country for holiday, drive to Abu Dhabi. Would you like a glass of wine after a long week at work, drive to Abu Dhabi and stock up! Should you have to drive 2 hours for real pork bacon? Some may argue no one should be able to buy pork bacon no matter how far you drive, but I would like the option.

The relentless sand invaded our home and attacked our respiratory systems as we sat by helpless against this indifferent foe. There are doctors and medical facilities to help with minor problems, but anything more than a cold, requires a drive to Abu Dhabi. Most people develop a hacking cough. Usually from the time they move to the west until the time they move away from the west. One of the worst things in the west is the drive out of the west. The only road connecting the west to the rest of the country is E-11. A four lane highway shared with endless truck convoys blocking one lane and speeding drivers pushing you toward disaster in the other lane. All while avoiding the speed cameras that issue a traffic fine via text.

Some people seemed content living in the desert, hiding away from society. They cherished the daily routine and cuddled up to the repetitive complacency of the west. But we didn't move over 7000 miles away from home to live in the desert secluded from modern conveniences and normal daily activities. We came to live like rich people and travel abroad to parts unknown. Well, we didn't really want to live like rich people, but we did want to travel.

Border Run to Oman

When people arrive in the U.A.E. on a tourist visa, they have thirty days before it must be renewed or leave the country. One way to renew the visa is to exit and re-enter the country. Some people applied for a temporary residency visa good for ninety days, but I didn't think I would need it. I assumed Samantha's employer would take care of my visa, but I was issued a thirty day tourist visa and pretty much left on my own to get a permanent residency card. My wife's employer sponsored me, but I needed to do all the leg work to make it happen. I decided after reading many online forums and Facebook post, a border run to Oman would be the best temporary solution for me. Border runs are cheaper than applying at an official U.A.E. visa office and much quicker. I enjoy traveling and like to save money whenever possible, so I got a two for one with this method. I got to see another part of the U.A.E. and Oman. I didn't really explore Oman, but I can say I was there. While not thrilled about driving two hours and entering a foreign country that I knew little about, the not-knowing was exciting.

I found several local Expats offering border run services charging anywhere from 300 to 400 AED per person. In my mind, if they can do it I can do it. I did buy a cheap GPS unit, which made traveling much easier and gave me some confidence to explore different areas. That confidence quickly fled when I pulled up to a border wall with military soldiers speaking a different language. I handed him 35 AED for the exit stamp as he told me to park the car. I just smiled and said "How you doing". He knew what I was doing and pointed me in the right direction. Our rental car didn't cover leaving the country, so I started walking to the Oman checkpoint. It's probably a mile or so. You can buy car insurance but it didn't make sense for just a border run. A trucker picked me up as I crossed into Oman telling me it was too hot to walk. He seemed surprised I was American, but wished me safe travels as he dropped me off at the checkpoint. I told the Oman soldiers exactly what I was doing and they helped me with the process. You get the entrance stamp on one side of the building and walk over to the other side for the exit stamp. Basically I filled out a travel form, paid for the entrance and exit stamps and walked back to the U.A.E. To officially get back into the U.A.E. you must pass through the customs office. It took almost an hour to get clearance and get my visa stamped at the border checkpoint. I had to do this two more times before my residency visa was finally issued.

My first hair-cut

After a month in the U.A.E. my hair was looking a little shaggy. I decided to get a simple cut from a barber in Madinat Zayed. I had no idea what to expect, how much it cost, or where to go. I had seen a couple shops earlier in the week while Samantha negotiated an abaya purchase from a slick Indian fellow. I stopped at the one with the most people in it, with the idea of more people equaled better service. As soon as I opened the door, a nice fellow said follow me sir, so I did. He sat me down in a normal looking barber's chair and closed the curtain around us, which felt a bit odd. It reminded me of a semi-private hospital room. He turned on a small TV and asked what channel I preferred. I had no idea, and said whatever you like. So we watched the BBC. He threw on the bib as I described my desired hair style with an old picture of me and hand gestures. And just like that we started my first International haircut. The technique seemed familiar and everything went normal, even with dull scissors that pulled more hair than it cut.

We didn't have much of a conversation, just the normal where are you from and where do you work. I decided to poke the bear a little by asking what religion he followed. I wanted to learn the real customs and beliefs in this new land. He nervously looked around and said Islam. My family is from India and is Hindu, but I'm Muslim. He asked me if I was Christian. I nervously said yes because I didn't want to say I'm I non-religious person. In this part of the world it's not a question of if you're religious, it's what religion do you follow. I was raised a Baptist and could answer any questions he may have had, but I hadn't been to church in twenty something years. He asked if many Muslims lived in my home town. I said none that I know of or ever heard of. He looked shocked and said none at all. I said before coming here I had never met or seen a Muslim. Many Americans claim to be Christians, but most don't attend church or pray unless a tragedy happens. And there are millions who don't follow any religion or believe in any god. He stopped and looked at me and said " _millions who don't believe in god and people who don't pray. How do people live with one another, how do you care and love one another? Religion teaches us all we need to know and punishes those who do bad things to others. This cannot be true"_. I said in America we have laws to protect each other, religion comes second. He shook his head and started to hum a prayer. That was the end of our conversation.

The barber seemed to be finished, but left our little space for a moment. I saw an old school straight razor in his hand and felt tense. I didn't need a shave nor would I allow a complete stranger use a lethal weapon to cut my hair. He wiped the razor with an alcohol wet nap and pushed my head forward to shape my neck line and around my ears. This was very unusual for me, but when in Rome, man up. He used a mirror to show me the back and asked how it looked, and I said great. He pushed for the up-sale of the shampoo and shave. I politely declined. I was feeling better by this time thinking my self-imposed ordeal was all but over, but I was wrong. The barber rubbed ointment on his hands and without a word proceeded to give me a deep tissue scalp massage. He went to town on my head like his life depended on it. Starting with his fingers and then I swear an elbow before finishing with a few smacks to my noggin. As he rubbed my head, I started to laugh. The harder he rubbed the more it amused me. All I could think of was the many different types of lice I would probably be exposed to from this one visit. From the scissors, the razor, the comb and scalp massage. In MZ, there are thousands of workers from many different countries living in poor conditions through no fault of their own. All getting haircuts from this barber shop, maybe from this very chair. But my fears were unsubstantiated. The haircut was actually decent looking and only cost 20 AED with no lice infestation. Sometimes it's just best to go with the flow. Sometimes it's better to move on as Samantha did after being told _"hair no good and face too round"_ during her first haircut in the U.A.E. She ended up driving to Abu Dhabi for a decent hair stylist.

Holidays

On December 2nd 2013 the UAE celebrated its 42nd national day. Known as the "Spirit of Union" since 1971, the day seven Emirates united under one flag to form the United Arab Emirates. Many of the Emiraties decorated their cars with flags and bedazzled wraps for a flashy effect. They're very proud of their country and take great pride in showing support whenever possible, as they should. Madinat Zayed was lit up like Christmas in Vegas with flags and lights lining the streets and people's homes. At night fireworks filled the sky and parties united family and neighbors. This reminded me of the Fourth of July back home and my thoughts drifted to friends and family back in the states and wished they could be here with us to experience this new found life style.

I wonder how American citizens felt about the United States when it was just 42 years old?

Living in the land of Muhammad one would think finding a western capitalist version of a Christian holiday would be impossible. Well money talks and Local shopkeepers like money as we found several stores selling Christmas decorations. It was fun to put a little Charlie Brown tree up and hang the wreath on the door. We invited several people over for a turkey dinner with southern side dishes. I made cornbread especially for a lady from South Africa that just had to try some. It was common practice for us expats to have holiday meals and invite people from all around the globe to experience our customs. This was made easy by the national diversity of all the residents in our villas. A normal dinner would consist of people from 4 or 5 different countries. We would have Q&A time to learn more about each other's culture and discuss how living in the U.A.E. brought us together. It was a real surreal experience.

Al Dhafra Camel Festival

For the winter break we drove out to the Al Dhafra Camel Festival to check out how they do it in the desert. It's a time for Arab men to showcase desert beauties for the sole bragging right of prettiest camel in the U.A.E. Camel owners from numerous Gulf countries competed for 80 million dirhams in prize money, luxury cars, and family pride. Folklore states the pageant started 21 years ago after two men argued who had the best camel. They invited neighbors over to judge the sand walkers and the rest is history. The annual events know include falcon hunting, dog racing, horse racing, camel racing, camel beauty contest, date tasting, and shopping. Luckily, the people were very friendly and the event only ten minutes from our flat. It's a little odd to be around public sporting events with large monetary pay outs when the culture prohibits gambling. To get around this all the prizes were awarded to the camels and not the owners. With no alcohol or gambling at the event some might think it boring, but it was really fun and enjoyed by all.

The Camel Festival is held near the camel racetrack, located outside of Madinat Zayed, in the desert near Tilal Liwa Hotel. For 2 weeks the normally quiet strip of desert dunes comes alive with 15,000 camels and thousands spectators. The once barren landscape is covered in national flags and massive tents, creating a temporary boomtown for the massive influx of visitors. Vendors set-up roadside tents with various merchandise from China and serve hot food and drinks to all the weary travelers. A temporary marketplace is erected on a nearby hill for traditional goods to be peddled and dates to be tasted. People are really serious about dates in the region with a large variety to choose from.

The beauty contest takes place in the camel stadium erected down the road from the racetrack. It's filled with white and black camels, judged by a group of men who know a good looking camel when they see one. The camels are adorned with elaborate decorations to enhance the natural beauty of these desert beasts. When a camel wins a category or advances to the next round the stadium erupts in song and chants from the excited fans. At the end of the day all winners march down Million street in celebration, a single dirt road leading into the desert where many of the camp sites are located. It is a sight to see. The winners drive trucks with loud speakers blaring music and blowing horns while following the prized camel surrounded by loyal fans. Aptly named Million Street because of the millions of dirhams exchanged in the camel selling frenzy during the festival. Camels are big business in the Arab world. Desirable specimens can sell for millions, much like breeding horses, with the opportunity to sell the offspring for huge profits.

The camel stadium was surrounded by a fence with security guards overseeing the hundreds of brand new vehicles given away as prizes. Not knowing where to sit as we entered the outdoor stadium a guard pointed us to the VIP section. This was probably for security reasons, but we didn't mind. I didn't see any local women at the camel stadium, while our small group mainly consisted of women. I'm sure we looked out of place, as westerners tend to do, surrounded by wealthy Arabic men dressed in traditional clothing. As we sat in our lush stadium seats, free desserts were brought to us and a tour guide offered to show us around and explain what makes a camel a beauty queen. Waleed, a tall thin young man in his early twenties dressed in traditional clothing was our tour guide. He spoke very good English as he told us about living in America while earning a degree from the University of Washington. Waleed loved America, but missed his family and friends while abroad. He especially missed his mother's cooking and said nobody cooks as good as mama. As we walked around the stalls Waleed informed us all the camels were female and the larger black colored camels tend to be more aggressive than the smaller white colored camels. He excitedly explained last year's winning camel was just purchased for 5 million dirhams in hopes of a repeat title run. The black camels really did seem more aggressive as they tended to run around the pens nipping at each other. One got loose from its trainer and off it went streaking into the desert sunset. The white camels just stood there taking it all in while waiting on commands from the trainers.

Waleed thought it would be fun to have us ride a camel. Several were saddled so tourists like us could be spectacles for the crowd to laugh at. While we opted not to ride the camels, several people in our group saddled up. For safety, a chest plate and helmet were worn while on the camel. Unlike a horse, you mount a camel while it's setting down. It was getting late in the day and the camels were surely tired by this time. The trainer had to smack the camel several times to make it stand-up. It growled and nipped at the trainer before being forced to awkwardly stand with a person sitting in the saddle. The look on the rider's eyes was priceless as the beast swayed from front to back, almost dumping her before standing upright. The dismount was just as awkward for the camel and the rider. I prefer not to ride anything without a gas or brake pedal.

We had to ask, what makes one camel more attractive than another. Waleed paused for a moment while stroking his chin before answering; _it's hard to explain to outsiders, but a judge will look at the size and stance. He compares the hair color and how the camel behaves. The eyes and eyelashes are very important, the longer the lashes the better. There are many factors the judges look at and make notes on before making judgement._ Everything made sense except the eye part, but I'm just an outsider observing another culture.

We thanked Waleed and said goodbye before heading toward the market area for some dates. The wooden structures looked like something out of ancient history with little shops lining the walls as merchants showcased handmade wears. A local group preformed the cane dance. Performed by men that lineup side by side and sing traditional songs while waving camel sticks as others beat drums. Sometimes swords and guns are used in the dance. Many people gathered around to watch and sing with the dancers. It's amazing to witness such national pride in a group of people.

The dates had a dedicated section for people to taste and vote for the best dates. The natural oasis town of Liwa, not far from the camel festival, has a yearly date festival attracting people from all over the U.A.E. As a naturally growing fruit in the Middle East, dates must have been seen as a godsend by people living here hundreds and thousands of years ago. Today dates are considered spiritual and purifying by Islam so people eat them daily as snacks and when breaking a fast.

The western city of Ruwais

We took a drive to Ruwais, about an hour and half south-west of Madinat Zayed. A shopping mall opened there complete with a movie theater. We were jealous because MZ doesn't have a movie theater. This was a very big deal since Abu Dhabi is 240 kilometers away from Ruwais. Before the mall was built the forty thousand residents had to travel to the Capital in order to purchase everyday items or settle for a limited selection from the small local shops. It's like living in Alexander County, North Carolina, except the nearest mall is two hours away instead of thirty to forty minutes.

The mall was built on top of a hill across from an oil refinery. At the bottom of the hill are hundreds of worker housing units. The workers like to hangout on the grass in front of the mall on their downtime because there's not much else to do. The Ruwais Refinery produces liquefied petroleum gas, premium unleaded gasoline (98 Octane) and special unleaded gasoline (95 Octane). It also produces naphtha, Jet-A1, kerosene, gas oil and granulated Sulphur. This facility keeps the country moving and is owned by the government, known as the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company or ADNOC.

Ruwais is surrounded by desert on one-side and the Persia Gulf on the other with nothing else but the new mall and a spinneys alcohol store to keep the natives occupied. You can take a ferry out to Sir Bani Yas Island for a luxury vacation or to Delma Island were some teachers work and live. This area is closer to Saudi Arabia and Qatar than Abu Dhabi or Dubai. It's not a bad place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Qasr al Sarab desert resort (star wars location)

For people living in shadows of the Appalachian Mountains in western NC a favorite past-time is to drive further into the mountains. Same same here in the UAE. People living in the desert like to drive further out into the sandy dunes. They build 4 and 5 star hotels in the middle of nowhere and people just show up. I don't know why people want to be in the desert when they could be near the sea. But, we decided to drive out to the remote luxury resort of Qasr al Sarab and see what it's all about. On the way we stopped at the Liwa Art Hub, the first artist community in the U.A.E. It was closed for some reason, but we did snap a few photos of a nearby fort.

The resort lies near the Saudi Arabia border in the Empty Quarter and far away from any civilization. The drive is very beautiful and desolate at the same time. The Qasr al Sarab Desert Resort was the home away from home for the Star Wars crew. It makes sense the new Star Wars movie was filmed in this alien looking landscape. The complex is massive blending into the mountain sized sand dunes. The resort is beautiful and luxurious by any standards. But for us it's still in the middle of nowhere and by nowhere I mean the largest sand desert in the world. The real draw for us was the chance of seeing a movie star or famous somebody working on the movie. We didn't make any new Jedi friends, but we did have a tasty dinner and a good time.

# Chapter 6

# Exploring the U.A.E.

One of the best things about moving to a new country is being able to explore all the tourist attractions. We made a list of places to see and set about mapping some routes for quick getaways. Since we lived in the Western Region it made sense to start there, but the big ticket items to the north won out over the local sandy attractions. We would hit the road on any weekend we had free or during a national holiday when most people were off work. There was no set schedule just a see how we feel kind of plan.

The Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque

One of the most popular attractions in Abu Dhabi is the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque, a beautiful architectural work of art both inside and out. The late Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan wanted a center piece uniting the Islamic culture. Inspired by mosques around the world, construction began in 1996 and opened in 2007. Unfortunately Sheikh Zayed died in 2004, before the Mosques completion. The Sheikhs body was laid to rest at the new mosque and his vision carried on by his sons. The outside of the mosque was clad in white marble with 82 domes and over 1,000 columns. The inside was adorned with floral designs and semi-precious stones. A 60,000 sq. ft. hand-knotted carpet covers the main prayer hall floor as gold plated chandeliers dangle above.

The Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque welcomes all Muslims and non-Muslim visitors, except on Friday morning prayers and Eid holidays. Those religious times are for Muslims only and can accommodate 40,000 worshipers. It's totally free to visit and the Mosque provides guided tours several times a day, but also allows self-guided tours. FYI, the guided tour permits access to areas not accessible on the self-tour. Our young tour guide was informative and fun as he answered questions nobody knew to ask. Everyone in the guided tours was required to wear headset so you could hear the guide and not fall behind. The dress code is of course restrictive, particularly for the women. Samantha had to cover her head and wear loose fitting clothes from her neck to her ankles, with no exceptions. Any woman not meeting this dress code had to wear an Abaya, provided by the Mosque, or entrance was denied. The last requirement was no shoes allowed. Everyone leaves their shoes in cubbies outside the Mosque entrance; just remember where you left them. The court yard was covered with imported marble that feels warm, but not hot, on your bare feet even in the hot summer sun. The planning for this Mosque took ten years and the gardens are still under construction. In my opinion, the Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque is best observed at dusk and at night when it's aglow with expert lighting. The massive mosque can be seen from miles around making it a prominent land marker when asking for directions.

First Time in Dubai

For the October 2013 holiday, Eid al-Adha "the Feast of the Sacrifice" which marked the end of the annual Hajj pilgrimage to Mecca, we decided to travel to Dubai. To finally visit the crown jewel of the U.A.E. and main reason for us moving there. This was a spur of the moment decision and finding a hotel became a problem. The first three hotels we looked at had no vacancies. The next four hotels were out of our modest budget. So after calling friends that had stayed in Dubai before and several hours of internet searching and several glasses of wine it came down to three no star hotels. The four main criteria being: in our price range, free Wi-Fi, free breakfast, and close to a metro station. Never planning a vacation to a large city to just sight-see, we overlooked the painfully obvious problem of parking. The hotel I chose didn't provide parking or discounts to any parking areas. We didn't have time to find another hotel and looked for other options. We were such newbies when it came to traveling and this help **e** d cut our teeth for planning vacations in the future.

Dubai has a metro system making it easy to explore the city. It also has toll roads. So we originally planned on taking the bus from Abu Dhabi to Dubai. We called the bus station in Abu Dhabi and were told parking was free to customers. Like other people in the western region, we had a long term rental car. It was a 10 month agreement covering all maintenance and insurance by the rental company. Everything but the gas was covered. They even drove out to us for routine car service and would switch out cars, usually with similar models. We were due a maintenance service but this time all they had was a tiny Yaris. It was new and clean, but it was a Yaris. The problem was E-11, a very dangerous road with many accidents each year and the only road from the western region to Abu Dhabi. A four lane road with two lanes going one direction and two lanes going the other direction divided by a palm tree median with each direction full of trucks and buses in the slow right lane and speeding motorist flashing lights in the fast left lane.

So we drove to Abu Dhabi bus station in a Yaris to find all the parking full. The Eid holiday had drawn a large crowd to the city and parking was limited. The only thing we could do was drive the little minicar to Dubai on the perilous E-11. After arriving in Dubai and finding the hotel (The White Fort) and lack of parking, we decided to do what everyone else does in the U.A.E. Go to the mall. The Dubai Mall was the closest and turned out to be a great solution for our parking dilemma. The parking was limited, but free for up to 48 hours which was perfect for short stay. We only moved the car once for the four day trip.

Driving into the city for the first time was great and nerve racking all at once. We arrived midday and the sun was shining bright and glistened off the tall windows of the skyscrapers. Samantha was driving as I took photos and ignored her pleas for directions. I had no more of an idea where we were than she did, but at least one of us was having a good time. The hotel wasn't listed on our GPS, so I guessed where it might be based on my memory from online maps the night before. This gave us time to soak in the city and explore this urban concrete jungle known as Dubai. The buildings were amazingly unusual with non-traditional lines and colors that added to the beauty of this modern city. The scale of everything is grand and inspiring and at the same time inviting with the crown jewel being the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa. Well, until China builds the Sky City tower. The roadways are intimidating with multiple lanes of one way traffic that twist and turn first to off ramps and then to tunnels, packed with people in a rush who know where to go! The Metro towers over the roads with connecting walkways that shuttle commuters to popular destinations for work and play as traffic below crisscrosses the ground.

We stayed in the Deira area, known as old Dubai, and it turned out to be a great change of pace from the glamorous new Dubai you see in the media. The countless grungy buildings snugly placed row after row after row, overflowed with people swarming to and fro. The small back-alley streets overfilled with tourists and residents blocking cars from moving. At night it got worse and a little sketchier. We walked around taking it all in as people approached selling various services. We had read about the sex trade in Dubai, but this was our first exposer to the real thing. Several Indian or Pakistani looking guys speaking what sounded like Russian handed out pictures of various girls. I yelled back at them, English, English and they turned away. Samantha was solicited by one of these guys and I'm not sure if he was buying or selling, but the look on her face was priceless.

The White Fort Hotel is located just a few streets off Dubai Creek, the old city port. Today used more as a tourist attraction and for local boating clubs. We wanted to ride on a Dhow boat once used for fishing and imports, but serve as water taxis today. The Dhow taxi only cost 1 dirham per person and definitely added to the experience as we crossed the creek to the Old Shouk. A definite tourist trap, but fun none the less. We walked along the waterway before making our way through the small streets designed to look like an ancient city marketplace. The endless waves of aggressive sales people can get real touchy feely. They all called me Boss and tried luring us into their little shops with promises of under the table deals not available to just everybody. We did buy a few things after some serious haggling. Samantha bought a scarf for 25 dirhams that started at 175 dirhams. The guys kept saying, "Very High Quality" and Samantha kept saying 25 dirhams or bye bye. We made our way back to the hotel looking for a break from the craziness. The White Fort is in a great location, but was very dirty. I felt compelled to clean the bathroom before Samantha could use it. The sheets seemed clean enough, so that was a plus.

Our first day trip on the Metro lines was exciting since neither of us had been on one before. We bought day passes for 16 dirham each that allowed unlimited travel on railways and buses. The rail line gave us a great view of the city and granted access to many touristy destinations. We stopped at the Dubai Mall to check on the rental car and all was well. After a quick trip to the Aquarium and the Burj Khalifa entrance we decided to head to the Mall of Emirates.

I really wanted to enter the world's tallest building, but the 125 dirham per person price for regular admission were sold out and the 400 dirham per person ticket seemed a little too steep for our taste. Next time we visited Dubai the Burj would be at the top of the must see and do lists. The Mall of Emirates has the Ski Dubai attraction that offers indoor snow skiing in the desert. The mall was packed so after a quick lunch we headed to the Marina. We both like the water and I wanted to inquire about chartering a boat or dinner cruise. We walked over a bridge that led to the marina filled with boats of all shapes and sizes. There were several shady characters hanging around the bridge that seem to be targeting single women. Looking for love in all the wrong places I guess. The architecture looked amazing with twisted buildings and enormous hotels that mimicked sand castles.

We followed the winding brick pathway around the outline of a canal dotted with restaurants that bustled with people as they sat at open patios cooled by outdoor air conditioners. There were people jogging and families playing as we made our way along the water way to the beach. We came across a guy using some kind of water jet propelled suit connected to a sea-doo that enabled him to hover over the water before splashing back down and back up again. I had seen something like this on TV, but never in person. Very cool.

As we walked further something caught my eye high in the sky in-between some buildings. It appeared to be people base jumping, but turned out to be Skydive Dubai. They have a small air strip and landing field for the sky divers just off the beach. You could hear the flap of the parachutes and jump suits as they landed on the field with expert precision. The tandem jumps were cool because people screamed and yelled as they landed while being video recorded. They also offered parasailing for those so inclined to do so. Nether appealed to Samantha or myself on this day, maybe next time maybe not. By this time the sun had begun its slow paced descent on the water and the metro was calling our names. Earlier in the day foot traffic seemed tolerable, but after 6pm it got very crowded. It was standing room only on the metro and most of the time elbow to elbow with little room to maneuver at our stops. A taxi may cost more but sometimes they're worth it.

The next few days were spent exploring the different areas of Dubai. We would hop on the metro to see where it went and hop off when we felt like it. While moving our car we found a nice public beach in a quiet part of the city to relax by the sea. We really enjoyed the brief trip to Dubai, but after several nights in the White Fort Hotel, Samantha was ready for the comforts of our little villa in the west. The vibe in Dubai seemed more relaxed compared to Abu Dhabi. I wasn't sure if it was because of the holiday or because Dubai is more of an International city with more accommodating views toward expats. Don't get me wrong, Abu Dhabi is great for expats and welcomes visitors with open arms. I would say Abu Dhabi is like the mature older brother to the rebellious younger brother of Dubai.

I have a little rant to get off my chest. I will never understand how or why a city less than 50 years old doesn't have adequate parking. You just plan for these things before all the land is covered by steel and concrete. You plan for commercial and residential development years in advance. How do you OK buildings to be placed touching each other for miles and miles without adequate parking? Yes land is worth a lot of money, but future traffic congestion is a deal breaker for growth. Nobody wants to be stuck in that mess, so they move to a less congested area. Sure public transportation helps, but how much does that cost? Has no one ever played Sim City? If a city is a few centuries old and grew slowly it makes sense to have small narrow roads. How big was a horse and cart? Populations were in the thousands not millions. Nobody ever expected cities to grow this large. Fifty years ago, cities were very large and parking was a problem back then. Even if we had flying cars where would we park them? Parking, parking, parking! Thank you and good day.

Moreeb Dune

After seeing signs posted in Madinat Zayed we drove out near the border of U.A.E. and Saudi Arabia to see the Liwa Dune Festival along the Moreeb Dune. It's a week-long event set in the, the largest sand desert in the world, known as the Empty Quarter. A vertical dragstrip was set-up on the dune near the camel racetrack. It's 30 km from the nearest town with only a few permanent buildings on site. The landscape was dotted with campers and tents buzzing with activity. The drive out to the remote location was thrilling because of the no-holds-barred attitude from the never ending line of SUVs fighting for an ever closer position in the imaginary race to the Dune.

After arriving at the festival we were greeted by several riders zooming by in different directions on ATV's and dune buggies. Parking was free but with no supervision or posted signs instructing where or how to park. We just backed our SUV toward the action and started tailgating. Soon others followed suit and we had a whole line tailgating with us as enterprising individuals walked around selling water and popcorn looking to make a quick dirham.

It was a free-for-all on the Mountain sized dune as vehicles crisscrossed in every direction, even after dark. We wasted the day watching people try, without success, to make it to the top of the dune with normal SUVs. They would race toward the hill and start the steep climb at full throttle, only to stall near the bottom not even half way to the top. It didn't matter make or model, they all fell short. Only the supercharged off-roaders and ATVs made it to the top. As the sun disappeared behind the dunes people gathered for the main event. Leaving our vehicle behind it was a short walk over to the fenced in grandstands. One security guard was turning people away as it was VIP entrance only. Another man, who looked Emirati, allowed us entry even without VIP credentials. We nervously made our way to the luxury stands with a great view of the drag strip and waited for the fun to begin.

The main event started with fireworks as the super-charged off roaders raced up the sand track for the quickest times. The vertical hill made staging the vehicle very difficult. A few times someone had to run up the hill and reset the electronic device that records the speed and time of each attempt. Once staged, the off-roading monster machine would jump forward with a loud roar of the engine as it sent jet streams of sand blasting behind. Several drivers veered off course voiding the run. A few cars had fire shooting out of the exhaust pipes sticking through the hood, making for a great visual effect against the night sky. To get a quick time the drivers pushed the drag cars to the limit, causing several to blow an engine with a loud pop. After an hour of watching run after run after run, Samantha had had enough. We decided to leave early and forgo the imaginary race back down the winding roads in the dark toward home.

Road Trip

Living in the U.A.E. allowed us access to numerous travel destinations with-in driving distance, so we planned a road trip for spring break. The first stop was Sir Bani Yas Island to see the wildlife reserve. The next stop would be Jebel Hafeet Mountain in Al Ain near the Oman border before driving up to Dubai for the Burj Khalifa.

Sir Bani Yas Island

A little history on the island; the late Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan, founder of the U.A.E., established a wildlife reserve on Sir Bani Yas Island in 1971. And as part of his 'Greening of the Desert' millions of trees have been planted all over the once desolate island. Sir Bani Yas is the largest natural island in the U.A.E. created millions of years ago when geological forces formed salt domes rising out of the sea. The Anantara Corporation manages three luxury hotels spread across the island, the Al Sahel Villas, the Al Yamm Villas and the Desert Island & Spa. The Al Sahel Villa Resort is located within the Arabian Wildlife Park, home to over 10,000 free roaming animals. The 30 private villas offer luxury comforts while surrounded by nature. The Al Yamm Villas are nestled right on the beach with breathtaking views of the sea. The Desert Island & Spa Resort redefines luxury with the Arabian flair of the Middle East. This 5 star resort set on the beach offers spectacular sea views and world class amenities.

It was a beautiful day as we drove two hours in the direction of Saudi Arabia from our villa, stopping in Ruwais for the short ferry ride over to Sir Bani Yas Island. The water looked beautiful as we snaked our way through the dredged water ways. Wind blowing our hair and water misted our face as the island took shape with each passing minute. A large modern looking wind turbine appeared as if from a dream. I did not expect to see this green energy source in the land of black gold and eternal sunlight. The fan blades stood still, so I asked about the wind turbine and the crew member said it hadn't worked in quite some time. It seems to take a lot of effort to make green energies viable. The U.A.E. has several solar farms, but weak winds may derail any future wind power plans.

The hotels provided transportation around the island since personal cars weren't allowed. A driver named Kahn met us at the dock holding a sign with our name on it. He loaded our luggage into a large SUV and welcomed us with bottled water and moist towels to refresh ourselves. With a big smile on his face Kahn said we were on Island time now, no rush. Relax and enjoy. He made us feel very welcomed in this desert paradise. Khan was from Pakistan and loved living in the U.A.E. As we drove to our villa he spoke of his homeland and asked where we were from. I've come accustomed to this little game and always have them guess first. We find it amusing since there aren't many Southerners in the U.A.E. people have a hard time with our accents. I lay it on thick sometimes just to throw them off. Khan guessed Australia, then Irish, and said I don't know, Canada? I laughed and said USA. Not missing a beat he said USA number one. I said maybe not number one, but a great place to live. He repeated America number one.

We headed off-road and entered the wildlife reserve through a large gate. As Khan drove us to the Al Sahel Resort he excitedly explained the history of Sir Bani Yas island and named several of the must see animals. He even drove us around the reserve showing off some of the desert gazelles, deer, ostridge, and oryx species before arriving at our villa. We thanked Khan for his hospitality and settled in to our fancy desert villa. The private villas are located around the main lodge where the swimming pool and restaurant are located.

We rented a single unit with a small plunge pool on the back patio. The outside of the villas resembled mud and stick huts with thatched roofs, but the inside looked fabulous. With high open ceilings and exposed wooden beams with ceiling fans looking down on the four poster bed wrapped in mosquito netting. The huge bathroom made Samantha's day with the largest copper tub we'd ever seen. The soothing tub placed in front of several large windows allowed for sunlight bathing with the addition of an outside patio and privacy fence. French doors led out to the back patio and plunge pool overlooking the grassy wildlife reserve. We spent several evenings lounging in the pool with a glass of wine watching wild animals graze nearby. The curious rabbits and peacocks ventured within a few yards before darting back into the bushes. The peacocks could be annoying with their loud cat like screeches in the middle of the night, but the sound of birds and insects were great comforts against the normally dead silence of the inhospitable desert. This reminded us of home causing us to feel a little melancholy. This soon passed as we settled in our comfy bed for a welcomed night of adult fun.

The next morning we waited on our wildlife safari tour guide to show up. Khan had told us we were on island time now and he must have meant it because the 8am tour proved too early for most humans and animals on the island. Our guide Daniel, a young man from South Africa, came dragging in about thirty minutes late and looked like he had pulled an all-nighter. Ah, to be young again! He apologized for the delay as he walked us through the itinerary for the tour. Daniel seemed like a nice guy and very knowledgeable on the wildlife and history of the island with several years of training as a wildlife and nature guide in South Africa. Another guide we met, Holly, was from Australia with a similar background. The U.A.E. attracts business professionals from all around the world, why not wildlife professionals. The staff and wildlife guides dressed the part and even had authentic safari off-road vehicles. It really added to the whole experience.

It was no surprise Samantha and I were the only two people on the morning tour with Daniel, which was kind of nice. It was like a private tour at a fraction of the cost. But I guess you get what you pay for because we didn't see any of the big ticket animals. Daniel did his best to find the cheetahs and hyenas, but he felled to even find one giraffe. We did stumble across the mountain sheep as they played on a rock face. The animals seemed to be sleeping in like most of the people on the island. Daniel looked tired as he gave up on finding any other animals besides the thousands of gazelle and deer. He drove us back to the villas and said good day. We were disappointed but it was still fun driving around the countryside looking for elusive game. It was now only 10:30am so we decided to head to the beach for the rest of the day.

We grabbed our swimwear and arranged for a transport to Al Yamm beachside resort. The short ride to the beach gave us a scenic view of the island as we traveled along the sea shore. The beach villas are sparsely spread around the main building giving some privacy from prying eyes. The beach was nearly deserted as we headed straight to a set of lounge chairs covered by an umbrella. It was like our own private beach complete with staff catering to our demands. A nice married couple from France set down beside us as we lounged the day away listening to the sound of the waves playfully caressing the shore. Our new found companions had stopped in Sir Bani Yas on their way home from a month long vacation in Hawaii after reading a post in a travel blog. They recommended no less than 3 weeks in Hawaii as 4 was barely enough time to explore the islands properly. The husband loved America and was thrilled to find two Americans just setting beside him. He told us of all the American cities they had visited, several more than once, and some places they had on a bucket list. The adventurous couple travels 2 – 3 times per year and usually to America at least once. We didn't ask what they did for a living, but I think we need to be doing it.

On the way back to our villa the driver spotted what looked like a cheetah dart across the road. He pulled off the dirt road stopping were he last saw the shadowy figure. I got out of the vehicle for a better look and maybe a picture. The sun was very low in the sky making it hard to see, but it looked and moved like a cheetah. My pictures were blurry like a Bigfoot sighting, but it was real none the less. Back at our villa we retreated to the plunge pool to relax after such a strenuous day of island life.

The last day of our stay was spent by the pool after an early morning walk around a grassy trail. We then decided to venture over to the main resort on the island for an early dinner. The Desert Island & Spa by Anantara is the oldest of the three resorts, but larger with more amenities than the other two. It had several restaurants and bars surrounding an outdoor pool with nearby beach access. This resort had beach side dinning with an open pit grill even though the wind blew sand in people's faces. It looked nice with a tent full of Arabic seating and staff catering to your needs, but we opted for indoor seating at the international buffet. Maybe not the best choice, but not a bad choice either. A typical hotel buffet with dozens and dozens of professionally prepared dishes and desserts to satisfy a wide range of guests from around the world. After sampling one too many sugary treats, we walked around the property as the sunset on our last night on Sir Bani Yas Island.

The next morning our favorite driver Khan drove us to the ferry dock. He asked how our stay was and when we were coming back so he could see us again. We told him how great our stay was and would try to visit again soon. I casually mentioned our only disappointment was not seeing the big animals up-close, and hopefully next visit we would have better luck. Khan stopped the vehicle and turned toward us and said you didn't see a cheetah or hyena. I said no not really, maybe a cheetah from a long distance, but not on the safari tour. Khan said how about the Giraffes; surely you saw one of the 35 Giraffes. We both said no, no Giraffes. Khan was beside himself in disbelief as he said how do you not see the Giraffes, they are so tall. I see them all the time. Heads over the trees, they are very big animals. He said I will take you now and show you. Laughing at what he just said, I thanked him for the offer, but our ferry was leaving soon and we had a long 4 hour drive to Al Ain. Khan apologized for the safari tour mishap and said next trip he would make sure we saw at least one Giraffe. We thanked Khan for his concern, but explained it's a wildlife reserve and not a zoo. We were just unlucky that's all. We had a great time and hoped to come back soon. Khan dropped us off at the dock as he welcomed a new group of tourist to Sir Bani Yas Island. Maybe next visit we'll just hang out with Khan.

Jebel Hafeet Mountain

The drive from the ferry dock in Ruwais to Jebel Hafeet Mountain in Al Ain took us 4 hours. We traveled from the U.A.E. coast near Saudi Arabia to the U.A.E. sand desert near Oman. I turned the music up and hit the road, driving like a local, gas pedal down and flashing headlights at those driving too slow in the fast lane. Just to be clear I set the cruise control on the legal speed limit, but the law allows for a 20 kph bump before tickets are issued. FYI: kph stands for kilometers per hour, the metric measuring unit in the U.A.E. and most of the world. OK. Once we arrived at the mountain base the flat roads turned into twisting left and right driving on a steep uphill grade reminding me of home. Except, there were no trees or grass or wildlife, just rocks and sand and nothing but a view of the vast desert.

Samantha became nauseas as we climbed higher with every turn and the ground below began to fade in the distance. I began to laugh at her, because that's what husbands tend to do when their wives act funny, right? Well maybe not, but I found it amusing. This of course made her mad at me for my seemingly lack of empathy. Samantha gets sea sick, is afraid of heights and plane rides and now riding in a car up curvy roads. Most of which only developed after she turned 30. So, I'm thinking what her handicaps are going to be when she turns 40. I actually wanted to comfort her, but momentarily amused myself thinking of what life has in store for us. I asked her if I should pull over at the next rest stop and she quickly said no I'm fine, don't worry about it. Well hell we all know what that means. This made me laugh a little harder because one would think after a decade together we could just be honest with one another and not play these silly games, but NO! I pulled over at the next stop anyway and Samantha said I'm fine, just keep going. I quickly said I wanted to stop and take a few photos if that was OK. So, we stopped for me and not her and that made it ok, in her mind. After I took a few pictures and made small talk about the history of people living around the mountain, all was good again.

We finally made it to the Hotel perched near the top of the mountain. Our two nights stay at the Mercure Grand Jebel Hafeet Hotel was purchased from Groupon with free tickets to the Al Ain zoo. An older hotel lost somewhere in the early 90's with clean rooms and friendly staff. The pool however was fantastic with a separate section for kids, complete with several large water slides. The main adult section had a swim up bar and areas with water jets to massage weary swimmers. The pool was surrounded by a large grassy lounge area shaded by trees and umbrellas as it overlooked the town far below. An abandoned water ride clung to the mountain side looking like an accident waiting to happen. There were several restaurants on the premises and an 11-hole mini-golf course. I won't lie; the putt-putt course sold me on this place when we saw it online but once there the view won me over. We spent several hours in the pool that evening before grabbing a lite dinner and adult beverage at Lawrences bar.

The next morning we drove down the mountain to the zoo to see the giraffes and any other animals they had, but mainly the giraffes. Samantha did much better going down the mountain even though she still felt ill. To our surprise the Al Ain zoo had over 3700 critters. (That means different types of animal specimens) Many of the larger animals roamed in small open ranges while others lived in steel cages. We hopped on the free train ride around the zoo to get a feel of the place before walking around in the U.A.E. heat. We went for the big ticket animals first. The hippos had a large covered water pit they could access at will and made watching them fun as they would disappear into the murky water. The gorillas and lions just sat around in the shade while the cheetahs and leopards played in the sun. The crocs had a large area connected to other indoor reptile habits. A large open field held many different species from Africa. The zebra, gazelle and deer roamed with the massive rhinos and the large giraffes, along with several other species. So we finally saw a giraffe up close at the feeding area. Khan was right, they are so tall.

It's sad to see wild animals locked in pens and cages, but they do protect them from the vicious predators known as humans. To end our day at the zoo we visited the always delightful monkeys and meerkats before heading back-up the mountain. Samantha felt better driving up the mountain than sitting in the passenger side. Maybe it was my driving, maybe it was in her head. Either way it gave me more time to snap some pictures of the Mountain.

We slipped into the pool to beat the heat of the desert sun wishing we had one more night at the hotel on Jebel Hafeet Mountain, but we had a reservation for the Westin at Dubai Marina the next day. Al Ain was fun, but the pre-booked At-The-Top tickets for the Burj Khalifa and a view of the Palm Jumeriah Islands was waiting on us.

Westin in Dubai

The drive from Al Ain to Dubai only took 90 minutes, giving us time to drive around the Palm Jumeriah Islands before checking into our hotel. The typical U.A.E hotel check-out time is 12 noon and the check-in is 3 pm, definitely a night time culture. Driving on the Palm Jumeriah made me a little giddy, like seeing the ocean or a naked person for the first time. Whatever trips your trigger. We once watched a documentary on the construction of these manmade islands, or more accurately I watched it while Samantha slept. The decision to stay at the Westin was partially based on the view of the Atlantis and Burj Al Arab hotels. I never dreamed I would actually be able to experience the sensation of really being someplace so exotic and unreal. To stand in front of the Atlantis Hotel was a top ten bucket list item of mine. It wasn't the hotel, but the destination itself that got me so excited. We drove around the main fronds of the palm tree islands, stopping to take a picture of the city in the background. The U.A.E. is known to have some serious smog from time to time and unfortunately Dubai had a thick layer during our trip. The hazy view of the city dampened the mood, but what do you do, you can't predict the weather. The view was still great, just not crystal clear.

Samantha became bored with my fanboy behavior and drove us to the hotel so we could hit the beach. The Westin at Dubai Marina reminded us of resorts in Cancun, Mexico. It was big and luxurious with well trained staff and lots of amenities. The large outdoor swimming pools led out to the semi-private beach overlooking the marina. The beach was lined with lounge chairs covered by umbrellas and staffed with waiters offering drinks and snacks. We opted for the Club Lounge upgrade for the better room and free food and drinks throughout our stay. Non-alcoholic beverages and lite snacks were offered during the day with lite meals and open bar during evening happy hours. Strolling into the Executive Lounge and ordering whatever we wanted without worrying about prices added to the whole luxury vibe. We took full advantage of the lounge amenities the first evening and most of the second day while hanging at the pool and beach. The second evening we left the hotel to experience the Global Village.

Global Village

The Global Village, only thirty minutes away from the Westin hotel, had 31 individual buildings representing countries from all over the world. Each building was themed to look like a different country and offered merchandise and produce originating from that country. A large section full of carnival rides and activities gave the cultural attraction a whimsical feel while adding excitement and energy, especially at night. Samantha declined my offer to ride the sky swings and any other ride for that matter. Instead we walked through most exhibits looking for cheap trinkets to send home. Pretending to be Andrew Zimmern for a moment, I randomly choose odd looking snacks for sampling and even persuaded Samantha to try a few. Our shopping was interrupted by the occasional live performance of paid entertainment groups filled with dancers and acrobats blasting music into the crowd. We followed the loud music and roar of a crowd. Several of the performances were really good, while others needed some fine-tuning. They were all fun to watch, some just drew larger crowds than others. I thought the Chinese Lion Dance performers were really good, but what do I know.

There were many restaurants serving various country cuisines and carnival type vendors selling many worldly favorites from falafel cakes and gelato to spiral potatoes on a stick. We tried the Turkish ice cream which tasted great with texture similar to salt water taffy combined with soft serve ice cream. Lebanese food was a popular choice for many locals so that's what we tried and it was delicious. The mixed grill plate came with three meats, a side of french-fries and a salad. The meats were kebab style with chicken, beef, and lamb. All the meats were minced with herbs and spices before being grilled over an open flame. Samantha was a little leery of the lamb, but it tasted great. Finding a Turkish coffee vendor in full dress was great as he played the part well.

As we walked along the man-made canal several boat taxis shuttled people around the grounds. The boat lights reflected on the water creating an eerie glow. A rather large water fountain show drew a crowd as it sprayed water high into the air as colored lights danced to loud music. It reminded me of the Bellagio fountains in Vegas, but on a smaller scale. We walked for hours and still didn't see everything, but had a very good time exploring the different cultural exhibits.

Dubai Desert Safari

The next afternoon we experienced a Desert Safari complete with dune bashing, camel rides, grilled dinner, and belly dancing. Samantha found a great price on Groupon for the complete tour. Our tour group met in a parking lot of a department store used by other safari tours which caused some confusion as to which bus to board. This didn't scream high quality entertainment, but they do things a little different on the side of the world so we just went with the flow. As par for the course little information was given by the drivers, so we just walked around and asked each driver if that was our bus. The drivers not understanding or speaking good English had a list of phone numbers for each of their passengers. A little unorthodox, but it got the sixty plus people loaded on the right buses. Our bus was packed with strangers driven an hour outside of Dubai into a remote desert setting with no further information given the entire drive. We had no idea what to expect or what to do when we arrived at our destination. We arrived at a desert area filled with other safari tours and a camel farm. We exited the bus and were told to wait. So we're standing in a large open area watching dozens of other SUV's speed by us for ten to fifteen minutes while several drive up to us and are motioned to leave by the bus driver. Still no information is given to our group.

Finally, several SUV's drive over to our group and the bus driver packed us in them. We were lucky to have only four people in our vehicle. Our young Philippine driver made fun of us for using the seat belts. I just grinned at him as I clicked my seatbelt tight. Samantha and the other married couple in the back looked worried because their seatbelts didn't work. Sorry about your luck! I quickly pulled out our Nikon DSLR to record this moment and told the driver to give it all he had. He took off after another driver wide open, sand flying and passengers screaming! We followed the other SUV everywhere it went, up one side of a dune looking toward the sky and down the other side staring at the ground. The transition from up to down scared us as we couldn't see the ground until the vehicle drove over the edge. The not knowing of how far down the ground actually was caused us to panic, putting all of our faith in the driver's abilities. Several times we rode on top of large sand dunes snaking through the desert before the driver turned sharply down the embankment shooting sand in the air. The married couple, from the UK, added humor to our first Dune Bashing trip with lots of screaming and pleading to stop. I didn't know a man could scream that high. Samantha added the occasional adult comment when things got real. This little off-road drive reminded me of four wheeling back home, but without mud. I did my best to film this experience, but I didn't really know what I was doing.

We made our way through the desert to a nice camp site surrounded by walls like a little fort. A camel ride was included with the tour and you could rent ATVs and try your hand at sand surfing. Samantha made me ride the camel with her as it had a two person saddle. I felt sorry for the poor camel because I'm a big boy. The animal handler whipped the camel commanding it to stand-up from its sitting position with the two of us now setting in the saddle. The camel growled at the man and pushed with all its might to first stand on its front legs and then its back legs. We were thrown first backwards and then forwards as the camel stood up. The animal handler led us around a circle stopping at the place we started. It was a very short camel ride but I didn't mind. The stride of a camel is a lot different than a horse. It felt like we would fall off as it swayed from side to side in a slow motion. The poor camel once again growled at the man when he commanded it to sit so we could get off. This time nearly causing us to fall out of the saddle as the camel leaned forward before quickly setting its back legs down snapping us backward. I prefer to ride things that eat gas not grass.

For a small donation a man with a hunting falcon allowed people to hold it as he took a photo. I had Samantha hold the bird as I took pictures of the man setting it on top of her head. The look on her face was priceless.

Inside the camp site was a center stage surrounded by low tables with cushion seating. The interior walls had different exhibits and shops to entertain the guests. Samantha got free henna on one hand and I hit the bar, a full service bar in the desert with happy hour! Nice. Many people sampled the free shisha and had pictures made wearing traditional clothing. We found an empty table and were joined by our new Dune Bashing buddies, the married couple from the UK. They had tried their hand sand surfing with little success. Best left to the professionals I guess. A meal was included in the tour, straight from the grill with kebab style meats, two kinds of rice and salad. The food was either very good or the beer was making me hungry, because I ate a second kebab.

As night fell the dancers hit the stage. First was the belly dancer followed by the lighted spin dance man who coerced women to try the spin dance on stage and finally the fire dancer ended the show. The belly dancer set the mood with her provocative moves and catchy music. It must have been popular music because several groups stood up and clapped and sang with the songs. She wiggled and giggled her way around the stage firing up the crowd for the next dancer. I think the next dance was called Tanoura. A man dressed in what looked like a long skirt with an ornate vest and turban style head wrap with matching boots hit the stage. He began to spin at a rapid pace working his way around the stage. The lights were switch off and his twirling skirt lit up with bright lights. He started to resemble a traditional UFO as he split the skirt in two with the upper layer now mirroring the bottom layer. He never stopped twirling until the dance ended some time later. The lights had been turned back on by this time and he began to coerce several women to try their hand at the spinning dance from hell. The skirt must have been heavy because they all had a hard time getting it started. Usually the women would spin until becoming dizzy and almost fall causing the crowd to erupt with laughter. The unique dance was a sight to see. The final dancer twirled two fire balls hanging at the end of chains. She made different designs in the air like we used to do with sparklers on the Fourth of July.

Her dance was cut short do to the fact the drivers taking us back to the bus were leaving and we didn't want to miss the ride home. Again no communication between the drivers and the tourists, no signs, no hand signals, nothing. We somehow lost the UK couple in the commotion and didn't see them again. Luckily we made it back to the right bus and off to Dubai we went. The highlight of our bus trip was the loud conversation between a single twenty something woman and her visiting mother. The daughter had lived in Dubai for several years and the mother wanted some grand babies. We were amused as the daughter described dating in Dubai as horrible with guys only wanting one thing. The mother suggested the daughter should think about coming back home because she knew a nice single boy in her church. The daughter flipped out and told the mother to mind her on damn business and let her live her life the way she wanted. The mother scornfully told the daughter to remember who put her through college allowing her to live abroad and remaindered her she wasn't getting any younger. All we needed was some popcorn. The bus dropped us off at the department store and we made our way back to the Westin. That left only one more day in Dubai before heading back to MZ, but we would finally visit the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa.

Burj Khalifa

The visibility was still poor the next day as we drove to the Burj but it didn't matter to me. We've never been to the Empire State building so getting to visit the world's tallest building was the next best thing. For me it's not all about the height as much as the history behind the building. The Empire State building is world famous mentioned countless times in movies and books and even had an airplane crash into it in 1945. Not to mention an attack from King Kong. The Burj Khalifa is still young with little history, but a modern masterpiece nonetheless. Standing at 2716 ft. the Burj dwarfs the other skyscrapers in Dubai. To access the Burj we had to walk through the Dubai Mall, the largest mall in the world. After a long hike and getting lost once we finally found the "At the Top" entrance to the Burj Khalifa. Samantha was looking a little nervous at this point, but she assured me she was fine. The walk to the elevators took several minutes and lucky for us there wasn't a line yet. The elevators travel at 35 kph taking only one minute to reach the 124th floor. We barely felt it move as it silently climbed to the observation deck. Our ears began to pop after just a few seconds letting us know the ground was far below.

As we exited the elevator I made a bee line toward the observation deck. Samantha looked fine until she stepped on the wooden floor of the deck, freezing in her tracks. The floor made a creaking sound as we walked on it prompting her to ask if the floor could hold the weight of everyone walking on it. She looked like a person walking on ice with arms out for balance while slowly shuffling her feet. I walked over taking her hand and began to jump up and down. She started hitting me as I reassured the structural integrity of the building. It was the combination of seeing the ground and creepy sound of the floor causing a little panic attack. Fearing she may pass out I reminded her to breathe deep and slow, not shallow and fast. Why she persists on attempting these height challenges is beyond me. I tried talking her out of this one, but she didn't listen. I walked her over to a sturdy looking wall so she could catch her breath while I enjoyed the awesome views. It was a little hazy, but not terrible. I set the camera to manual focus and started clicking away lost in my little world walking around looking for the best vantage points for pictures. I kind of lost Samantha for a moment who was no longer hugging the wall for safety, but had ventured over to the edge and with trembling hands was taking photos of her worst nightmare, or one of her worst nightmares. Samantha's greatest fear is being trapped in a car as it plunges off a bridge sinking to the bottom while she drowns. I try not to think about such things preferring happy thoughts instead. My happy place was 124 floors in the sky looking down at the earth imagining how crazy the men were who built this mega skyscraper. Pondering what ancient man would think of such a structure as people have worshiped far less tangible realities for millenniums. The modern day mindset has become jaded by everyday miracles and the cluttered pursuit of self-satisfaction, ignoring truly amazing achievements taking years to complete as we expect the world on a platter but offer little in return. Well maybe not all my thoughts are happy thoughts, but emotionally charged by what man is capable of for sure.

Leaving the outdoor perch for the perceived safety of the indoor observatory helped ease Samantha's anxiety allowing her to enjoy the moment without freaking out. We casually strolled around the 124th floor enjoying a 360° view of the city while taking photos and even a few quick selfies adding another check to the old bucket list. The souvenir shop had everything imaginable for a keepsake, but the flattened coin machine got our money. As we waited for the elevator down, several young girls posed themselves for the perfect selfie. I suppose the duckface has become the new smile. My, what a monster selfies have become. Thanks in-part to social media and social tolerance, people have become obsessed with getting the perfect self-portrait. Watching people take selfies can be very entertaining as they twist and turn time after time holding the camera at different angles for the elusive money shot. We tend not to take selfies, not wanting to look like self-obsessed douches. To clarify people who take selfies are not douches, just perceived as douches. The problem is a camera captures an extremely short moment in time. Catching moments not noticed by the human brain. And a bad photo can hurt social status and follower count leading to less income for some, so more emphasis is placed on picture perfect selfies for good reason. People have taken selfies for as long as cameras have been around, but the digital photo is somewhat of a new technological achievement. The old film photos made people wait until developed before seeing if the notorious thumb ruined the shot. Today we just click away (or press or touch away) and delete any undesirable images before uploading online in mere moments, streamlining the whole process. To me it's a double edged sword, damned if you do and damned if you don't.

# Chapter 7

# Exploring Italy

One of the biggest factors for moving overseas was the ability to travel abroad and see even more of the world we live in. The bucket list was long and growing as new friend's gabbed about recent trips and posted stunning pictures online. The only question was where to go first. We each made a must see list and Italy was at the top of both of them. For me it was the Roman history while Samantha dreamed of Tuscany landscapes. Neither one of us really knew anything about Italy so we started looking at flights to and from multiple destinations. The fact we would be there during New Year's affected our decision somewhat. We wanted to be near fireworks and excitement so of course Rome came to mind. With the winter weather Tuscany seemed out of place better saved for a future trip in warmer weather. In the end cheap flights from Dubai to Venice settled the debate. So we would fly into Venice and take a train to Rome before flying back to the U.A.E. during our 8 day vacation.

Something new to us was airport lounges or more accurately access to VIP lounges. We've all seen the lounges with closed doors and world travelers enjoying food and drinks before boarding the plane. I rarely had time to enjoy such luxury, just making most of my flights with no time to spare. Samantha was issued a credit card as part of her salary package that allowed access to several airport lounges in GCC countries. The upgrade didn't cost us anything to use but made flying much more enjoyable. We had real incentive to get to the airport early so we could enjoy free adult beverages and buffet style foods as other passenger's payed inflated prices for subpar service or sat waiting on stiff benches. Feeling privileged as we enjoyed plush seating with a waiting staff happy to see us and glad to serve, well at least they acted that way. A lounge just makes traveling so much better.

Venice

Samantha, being a nervous flyer, preferred sitting away from the window allowing me full access during the 7 hour daytime flight. I took pictures from the time we departed the U.A.E. until the wheels touched the ground in Italy, snapping photos of Dubai as we flew out over the Persian Gulf and the constantly changing landscape far below. After passing the Persian Gulf I was amazed by the many different types of terrains we flew over. The dry mountainous landscapes gave way to snow covered peaks with flowing rivers void of human occupation. Soon a new coastline dotted with dozens and dozens of tiny islands full of houses appeared in the horizon. Viewing the world from this height made me feel small and irrelevant wondering why mankind believes the world belongs to us when we belong to the world.

Landing in Marco Polo airport went smooth as we eased through customs and grabbed our luggage before a short bus ride to Venice. The airport and bus had very few people, but Venice was packed with vacationing Italians. Our hotel, the Continental, was a short walk from the bus stop, over Constitution Bridge and past Santa Luca train station on the Grand Canal. The 15th century building was very charming and the staff well managed and attentive. There was an elevator big enough for 2 people minus any luggage, so we used the stairs since our room was on the second floor. Our well decorated and spacious room had a nice view of the Grand Canal. European spacious means small by American standards, but more than we really needed. The bathroom was about half the size of the bedroom which was great except for the odd tub without a curtain. The handheld sprayer made it difficult not to get the floor wet since it sat on top of the faucet spraying water at my shins with nowhere to hang it. To make it worse the faucet was placed in the middle of the tub making it feel unnatural to stand normally, but at least we had a shower in a hotel in Venice, Italy.

We wandered around the city enjoying the cool air and rainy conditions, because after spending 4 months in the hot desert it actually felt nice. Well it did at first and then Samantha got cold and wanted to head indoors. I walked her back to the room and kept on walking and exploring the wonderful floating city of Venice. I was too excited and wanted to see more and hear more and feel more of this historical place.

Once only a place found in books and movies, but now a surreal reality as I walked down one canal and then another before making my way through several narrow dark lit alleys. The sounds of people talking and music playing pulled me further into the center of the city as I discovered large open courtyards and grand churches. Imagining the city looked similar hundreds of years ago when Marco Polo, Leonardo da Vinci, Casanova, and countless Renaissance Artists roamed the same streets. We know the stories that have been told, but imagine the stories only the city could tell. As midnight approached I headed back to check on Samantha and prepare for the next day.

The weather had cleared and the sun shined the next morning as we made our way down the Giudecca Canal on the way to St. Mark's Square. Circling the island by boat we made our way around the large cruise ship ports for a fantastic view of the Giudecca Islands before arriving near St. Mark's Square. Walking around at 10am the crowds weren't too bad as we explored the Doges Palace and St. Mark's Basilica. Hopping in line for the bell tower just before the large crowds overwhelmed the entire square. The bell tower was my favorite part of the square with its jaw dropping panoramic views of the city. The ringing of the bell from the 5 hundred year old Clock tower drew a large crowd and signaling our time to explore other places in the city.

We wandered the streets and canals stopping for a tasty lunch near the Rialto Bridge before boarding a Vaporetto (water bus) for a scenic view of the Grand Canal. The boat was very crowded, but we managed to find a good spot with unobstructed views of the wonderful buildings lining the waterway. Hopping off near our hotel, I led Samantha to some of the old Churches and Court Yards I found the night before. We walked around till dark before retreating back to our little street in Venice for a nice dinner and nightcap.

Luckily we didn't experience any tidal flooding during our visit to Venice allowing us to come and go as we pleased. High tides combined with the continual sinking ground has resulted in repeated flooding during the winter months causing the local government to use platforms as a way to keep shoppers dry. The rising water flows through the sewer and water drainage systems contaminating the streets with sewage. A tidal sea gate is under construction that may solve the persistent flooding problem once and for all when it's completed. It would be heartbreaking to lose such an important historical city, but Venice has had a very good run and nothing can last forever.

We spent several more days exploring Venice by foot and boat, just enjoying the views and vibe of the city. While not the cheapest city to visit we shared meals and compared prices to stay on budget. Just walking around and exploring the city was free and with the Vaporetto pass we could cover the entire city. I believe we could live in Venice and never grow tired of all it has to offer, but Rome was calling us to explore the ancient ruins of the Roman Empire.

Travel by Train

Traveling with only rollie carry-on luggage made walking to the train station easy, but limited us on clothes and souvenir space. We decided to use the smaller bags after watching Rick Steves, but I bet he doesn't have to worry about dirty laundry or keepsakes on his travels. Rick had suggested when traveling to more than one destination or by train, travelers should pack light. He was right about the mobility part, but we were on a budget and washed our clothes in the shower and dried them on the towel racks and radiators to save money. The cooler temperatures kept us from getting too sweaty even after several days of constant walking, which helped a lot. Except for the old coal burning locomotive at Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock N.C. this was our first real train ride ever.

Having bought the tickets after arriving in Venice we didn't know what to expect or how early to be at the station. We decided on an hour buffer that was about 45 minutes too long. The Santa Luca train station is small and busy with open but covered platforms for boarding the trains. The station was filled with different shops and restaurants with slightly inflated prices for the onsite convenience. Splitting a piece of pizza and a gelato we patiently waited with the masses that covered the floor with luggage and bodies. Young backpackers from around the world sat in large groups, either in deep discussion or fast asleep.

We couldn't believe how easy it was to travel by train. There were digital information boards listing arrivals and departures much like the ones in an airport. Just find your train number with the correct departure time on the board and go to the listed platform. No customs, no long lines, no check-in baggage fees, just get on the train, find your seat and go to your destination. It was such a drastic change from the airports I felt like we did something wrong or illegal. The dreaded anxiety caused by the airport security measures and painfully slow lines were replaced by easy going attitudes and quick train departures. Traveling first class gave us 2 window seats facing each other with a small table to share. This gave Samantha the option to always look forward as the train switched directions at some terminals. I didn't mind switching seats and always riding backwards if it kept her from getting nauseas.

I was hoping to see some Italian countryside on the way to Rome, but I think we saw more black tunnels than picturesque scenery. The tunnels made it more challenging but didn't stop me from taking pictures as I made-up a game to help pass the time. Riding backwards didn't help much either, but it was all part of the challenge. The 4 hour train ride passed quickly as we stopped in Florence before arriving in Rome. Nether city looked appealing from the train station, but to be honest Rome looked like a ghetto. Most of the buildings and track retainer walls were marred with graffiti and trash that amplified the decay of the cities infrastructure. Samantha's facial expression said a thousand words when I asked what she thought of Roma. She asked if this was the right place, hoping it wasn't. But, it was in fact our stop as I led the way toward the subway. It was getting late I wanted to find the hotel before it got dark.

Rome

Once inside the station everything looked normal and safe from the urban jungle outside. Rome Termini station was much larger than Venice Santa Lucia station making it a little harder to navigate on our first visit. We made it to the subway, but had a hard time using the ticket machine. I think it required a card with an embedded security chip and ours didn't have one or we just weren't doing something right. After some stress induced arguing we found a live person who took our cash for 2 metro passes. Ah, the joys of traveling with an uptight person. Samantha wanted me to have all the answers and know how to get from A to B without any hiccups. I liked not knowing what to do and enjoyed the experience of discovering something new for the first time. No matter how many times I explained to her why the trip is sometimes better than the destination, it didn't sink in. I found it difficult to get her into the "enjoy the moment" mindset.

To make matters worse I got turned around once we got to our stop for the hotel. We got off at the right subway stop, but exited to the wrong street. Nothing looked familiar or matched my printout. We walked across the road toward what I thought might be the right way, but stopped as the street was full of not so nice looking people. Heading in the opposite direction we tried asking for directions, but nobody had heard of our Hotel. We tried calling the hotel, but our cell phone wouldn't dial out. It had worked in Venice but not in Rome. To our relief Rome still had payphones, what luck right! But the instructions were in Italian and we were anxious so after several attempts we gave up on the payphones.

It was starting to get dark as several different people sent us on wild goose chases, I think for their own twisted pleasure. Samantha was flipping out and I was running out of ideas. It was the right area and the right subway stop but no hotel, nothing made sense. We walked for over an hour before I suggested we take a break and grab a bite to eat. I just wanted to get Samantha someplace safe so I could walk around and find the damn hotel. This part of the trip was starting to suck and I really wanted to kick myself in the ass for getting us lost. We walked inside a little cafeteria style restaurant run by a mother and daughter team near our subway stop. The food was good and cheap, lifting the mood of our current predicament. The mother noticed we seemed agitated and asked if we needed some help. I explained our troubles and without batting an eye she pointed in the direction we first started walking and said it's about a five minute walk past the McDonalds on the corner. Relieved and doubtful at the same time, we walked back in the direction of the not so nice looking people and down the street to the McDonalds. As we turned the corner the hotel sign was staring us straight in the face. So we were ten minutes from our hotel the whole time. At least we found a nice cheap restaurant near our hotel. It was definitely time to relax with some vino.

The Aurelius hotel was a small but quaint 4 star hotel away from the main attractions in Rome, giving us some quiet time at night. I liked the look of the place and smiled when I saw a statue of the Capitoline Wolf; it depicts a she-wolf nourishing two human infants, the founder of Rome Romulus and his twin brother Remus. The receptionist was so nice and went out of her way to make us feel welcome. After we got settled in the room I walked next door to a small store for a bottle of wine. It was such a drastic change coming from a Muslim country where alcohol consumption is closely regulated by the government. The little store was full of different types of wine and liquors at very reasonable prices.

Returning to the hotel I asked for a bottle opener. The receptionist handed me 2 wine glasses, a bottle opener, and a small bag of ice. She said I hope you enjoy your first night in Rome. This was more like it. It's amazing how a little kindness and generosity can turn things around in a fast way. We went from hating on Rome to this ain't so bad after all in the blink of an eye. Settling in to our cozy room we messaged family and friends letting them know we made it and brag a little. I only knew a handful of people that had travelled to Italy so it was kind of a big deal to us. I should've planned a better itinerary or used a tour guide for our first time in Rome, but we did ok for a couple of newbie travelers. After a few glasses of wine the sandman came to tuck us in as dreams of chariots raced in our heads.

The Vatican

The next morning while eating breakfast rain slowly covered the streets. Rome was being rude this morning but we came prepared and broke out the umbrellas as we headed to the Vatican. To our surprise the Vatican already had a 3 to 4 hour wait with the line wrapping around the building and down the street. Because of the rain we knew people would flock to all the indoor attractions, but this was ridiculous. Thinking most people would be home with family and friends during the Christmas holiday was just naive on my part. Of course people would be at the fricking Vatican on one of the most sacred Christian holidays of the year. Hell whole families were there, all the way down to distant cousins and close neighbors. We had read not to trust the personal tour guides on some online posts, but standing in the rain for 4 hours was not going to happen. I talked to several solicitors and chose the one offering the quickest entry.

We didn't care if the guide spoke English or not, we just wanted in. The tour guide waited about 20 minutes trying to hustle as many people as possible before proceeding. Large umbrellas weren't allowed in the Vatican so several of us stored them in a nearby office. Then we just walked right pass several hundred people and waited in a short line for tour guide groups. It took about 10 minutes of standing in the rain and we were inside with what looked like the rest of Rome. Everyone was mushed together like a can of sardines. Our tour guide communicated with headsets and a colored flag as she herded us from one packed room to the next before directing the group briefly back outside in the rain for a view of a courtyard. I knew we should've bought ponchos. Luckily a nice couple shared their small umbrella with Samantha as I took photos in the rain.

The tour guide was insightful but focused on what she liked and less on the more popular art works, well in my opinion anyway. I understood why she hurried us along and wondered how many tours she did in a day. Getting a decent shot was tricky with all the people vying for space and I often fell behind the group and out of radio range.

We eventually made it to the Sistine Chapel moving around like a push puzzle as everyone wanted a closer look at the opposite side of the room they were standing. The security guards barked "no photos" and ushered us to be silent as this was a place of worship. I found the priceless artworks underwhelming. Now, it may have been the over crowed visit or the fact the Church traded the visual rights of the Sistine Chapel in exchange for a full painting restoration from the Nippon TV Network Corp. of Japan. The restrictions have expired over time but the photo ban is still enforced by the Vatican. It may have been seeing firsthand how the church squandered millions of dollars for selfish embellishments. Maybe I'm just not a lover of priceless art. On the other hand I do have the utmost respect for all the Artists who spent years making the artwork and became an instant fan of Michelangelo for his rebellious nature. If the church hadn't over indulged in sponsoring these elaborate look at me trophies we wouldn't be able to view them today. We have millionaires and billionaires that build massive buildings and unbelievable homes, but I doubt any of them will match the time tested creations of past generations. The raw materials and master level skills have been replaced by newer and perceived better resources and techniques.

St. Peter's Basilica was truly awe-inspiring with its massive scale and detailed works. This surely showed would be Christians god was real, inspiring centuries of worship. My oh my, how the times have changed. I wonder how many more years the church can persuade people salvation can be had for the right price? Only time will tell I guess. After several hours we grew tired of the relentless crowds and somewhat gaudy over indulgence of the Catholic Church, returning once again to the rainy streets of Rome. The little office holding our umbrella was locked with no one in sight. We waited for a while before abandoning it in favor of a poncho purchase from a desperate street vender.

We didn't really have a plan as much as a let's see what happens next mindset as we strolled through the city in search of something interesting. You can throw a rock and hit ancient ruins in Rome, but we ventured inside giving our wet feet a much needed break from the rain. Shopping is always a good way to keep the rain at bay so we looked for trinkets and whatnots hoping to find affordable treasures.

Somehow we missed lunch and settled for an early dinner at a nearly deserted American themed bar. A cross between Cheers and Chili's ran by 2 tattooed hotties with thick Russian accents. Not Samantha's first choice but a nice break from pasta for me. It was nice to relax in a familiar setting and be able to actually read the menu without guessing what to order. We headed back to the Aurelius hotel for a break as we changed into some dry clothes. The receptionist gave us several options for the upcoming New Year's celebrations and we ventured back out into the now night life of Rome.

This time we knew where we were and felt more confident about exploring dim lit alleys with not so nice looking people. The streets were alive with all types of people from all over the world. We were surprised by the number of people from Southwestern Asia. Spending time with people from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh in the U.A.E. made it easy to pick out certain accents from the many different vendors we encountered in Rome. We would start-up conversations with these people and always got the same response when they learned where we lived. They would first be surprised 2 Americans lived in Abu Dhabi and secondly remark "it's too hot to live there ". Well tell us something we don't know. Calling it a night before the stroke of midnight felt wrong, but when in Rome go to bed with the old people and get up early to see everything you can was our moto.

Forum and Colosseum

The next morning was a beautiful day with bright blue skies and crisp cool air, perfect weather to visit the world renowned Roman Forum and Colosseum. Stepping off the Metro and seeing the Colosseum and Arch of Constantine for the first time sent chills down my spine. It could've been the cool air, but it happened. The adjoining ruins of the Roman forum and Palatine Hill were the political center of Ancient Rome. The very place world shaping decisions both good a bad happened. The same ground Julius Caesar, Augustus, Pompey and maybe even Spartacus once roamed.

We started at the Forum, walking around with an audio guide and map purchased at the ticket booth. The main complex became visible, as we walked through the Arc of Titus, sending me into Roman fanboy mode. Maybe more like Spartacus fanboy mode, but definitely feeling the Roman vide. We had seen most of these ruins on TV and in books, but knew little about the true histories behind them. The audio guide gave some insights on the rubble laid out before us. This helped us to understand the layout and function of the ancient structures. Roman life seemed similar to modern times with the rich and powerful class ruling the masses as the poor did all the heavy lifting with little sway in the political arena. Religions were used to control and maintain society and Samantha found what was once thought to be a gate to hell, the Lacus Curtis. Another ominous monument the Umbilicus Urbis, known as the Navel of Rome was the symbolic center of the city. A short round brick structure built atop a cave the founder of Rome, Romulus, believed led to hell and only opened the door three times a year when evil spirits were thought to roam the city. Religion and state must have walked hand and hand in those days.

There was so much to see and I'm sure we missed somethings, but the minutes ticked by at a rapid pace. We made our way up to Palatine Hill enjoying the views of the city below. I know Rome wasn't built in a day, but these people lived a lavish lifestyle for that period in history. We would have a difficult time living as they did, but this was the top tier of social status back then. Life without windows and electricity would have sucked for sure, but would Roman have succeeded if modern conveniences like Social Media existed back then? The ruling class dictated the way others lived with control by appearance and coin. Imagine Spartacus had an Instagram account full of tortured slave pics with them going viral across the ancient world. A large enough uprising may have defeated Rome stopping further progress and terror. Today we have the power to sway the masses with little effort or consequence.

Samantha grew tired of the endless battered ruins of the Hill suggesting we make our way over to the Colosseum. She didn't have to ask me twice as we made a beeline in that direction. That thing was huge! I could only imagine what people thought of such an enormous structure when it was built. A true modern marvel of its day with most of it still intact after a millennia of neglect. We entered the Colosseum making our way up the steep stairs to see the inside of the stadium. The familiar design reminded me of modern football stadiums with the outer edge walkways and tiered seating on multiple levels. It was very much like walking into the Carolina Panther NFL stadium for the first time. Looking down on the oval shaped center where all the action took place. I could truly imagine the roar of the crowd as Gladiators fought animals and each other in life and death battles. Getting caught up in the moment, we missed the last underground tour of the day by 15 minutes. We couldn't believe we did that! It wasn't the end of the world, but it kind of sucked. Just another reason to visit Rome again in the future I guess.

Walking out of the Colosseum we watched several street performers dressed as Roman Soldiers posing with tourists for photos. This seemed like such a strange yet fun way to make money. Leaving the Colosseum we headed toward the imposing Victor Emmanuel II Monument, a massive white marble structure completed in 1925. Unbelievably, several historical sites were destroyed to make room for the controversial construction on Capitoline Hill. At the base of the monument soldiers stood guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier as passerby's went about their daily routines. The day drew to a close as we walked the crowded streets toward the Pantheon. An odd looking building with circular walls and rectangle front porch with very tall Roman columns built almost 2 thousand years ago. As we snapped the last picture of the Pantheon, Samantha had enough for the day. We found a nice restaurant with outdoor seating for a real Italian meal before heading back to our hotel.

The next morning we headed to the Circus Maximus just to say we were there because there's not much to see. A large open field with some ruins on the ends and that's about it. Amazingly still in use as a stage had been assembled for an outdoor concert celebrating the New Year. Looking to explore other parts of Rome we headed to the Spanish Steps and played a game of "Where's Waldo" as I took a picture of Samantha standing on the crowded steps.

The neighborhood looked absolutely Italian with numerous scooters lining the sidewalks and tiny cars driving down narrow cobble stone streets. The closer we got to the Trevi Fountain the more crowded it became. Who knows how many women have thrown coins into that fountain hoping for love and marriage. We of course followed the tradition and picked-up a little keepsake as-well. The narrow alleyways were filled with street venders and performers looking to make a quick dollar. It was the best place in town to buy Italian handbags made in China. Walking around this part of Rome away from many of the big ticket items gave us time to soak in the city. Since it was New Year's Eve we headed back to the hotel for a break before heading back out for a late night on the town.

New Year in Rome

The hotel receptionist had given us a few options for New Year's celebrations and we decided on the Piazza del Popolo known as the Peoples Square. First we walked around the Colosseum area full of people as club music blared from loudspeakers. The streets were already packed a 7:30 and we thought about just staying there, but a plan is a plan. Arriving at the Peoples Square around 9:00 we found a little restaurant for dinner and drinks. The countdown was quickly approaching as we walked down the main street of Via de Corso. The street had been decorated with long strands of lights stretching unbelievably far giving a festive appearance enticing people to see what was happening.

Walking back toward the square we struck-up a conversation with a young American couple spending their first New Years away from home. The crowd was getting a little rowdy by this time so we decided to hang with our new found friends. People were yelling and throwing empty beer and wine bottles ten minutes before the New Year started. There wasn't an official countdown in the square, but the homemade fireworks and explosives gave us a pretty accurate timeline. This was a very blue collar event as random loud explosions came from every direction and smoke settled over the square like a thick fog. No overhead fireworks or organized celebration, just raw energy as drunkards tossed empty bottles and live explosives at one another while screaming in Italian. I guess it made sense to the locals. Our new friends decided to get the hell out of dodge before things got too crazy so we said our goodbyes as they hurried away. We didn't see anyone get hurt and the commotion only lasted 30 minutes before the square was deserted. Definitely not the grand spectacle we had hoped for but exciting none the less.

Missing breakfast the next day we slept in till 10:30 because most attractions and businesses were closed for the holiday anyway. We were both feeling a little melancholy because it was our last full day in Rome and worse last full day in Italy. I wanted to see the Tiber River before leaving so we headed to Tiber Island. We walked over the connecting bridges snapping pictures of love locks and the Pons Aemilius, the remnants of a 2 thousand year old bridge. People crowded onto the little island as the water swiftly flowed beneath our feet. The view had a calming effect as we joined others just standing and watching the day slip by like a friendly wave to a passerby. The sun was casting long shadows as we strolled away from the river and toward the hotel stopping ever so often for a quick pic of random monuments. We both really liked Italy, or at least the parts we'd seen so far, thinking it would be a great place to live one day. The mountainous terrain with familiar vegetation and hands on feel for life reminded us of home making Italy a serious contender for long-term living in the future. But our time was at an end in the birthplace of Western Culture as the desert life in the sandbox was calling us back to reality.

On the flight home I gazed out the window watching the clouds as if in a dream, we had finally made it to Italy and found the country even more fascinating than we first imagined. The rich history and historical buildings filled with one of a kind artworks attract the masses, but the people keep us coming back for more with charming personalities and pure Italian style.

# Chapter 8

# Trip to Egypt and Turkey

It had been 3 months since we vacationed out of the country making us a little antsy for a new adventure. We had spent the summer back home in North Carolina catching up with friends and family. Not much had changed since the year before and heading back to the U.A.E. felt good. Don't get me wrong we missed our family and friends, but liked the International life style too. The winter break was right around the corner so we pulled out our travel wish lists. One of the top five "must see places before we die" on our travel lists was Egypt. Just think of the top ten places everybody has heard of or read about and I guarantee Egypt is on that list. Mainly because of the Great Pyramids, the Sphinx and Halloween costumes of the beautiful Cleopatra and Egyptian Pharaohs. The Pyramids are famous because of their size and the curse of the mummies. The Sphinx is a strange looking mystery probably better left unsolved. Retailers will use any and all forms of depravity to make a quick buck and sexy Egyptian themed Halloween costumes are a sure bet. And for that, many of us are thankful. There are many more reasons why Egypt is and should be world famous, but ask most people today and see what they say.

So Cairo was a sure thing, but what about other parts of Egypt? We asked a few friends for some suggestions and received many great ideas. A good friend of ours mentioned she would like to see the Great Pyramids, so we invited her along with us. One of the things I like about traveling is the planning. The internet makes it very easy to customize a trip to where ever and do whatever your heart's desire. I put together a few options for the trip and invited Ms. Rosemary over for a consultation on a wine down Thursday, which is the end of the work week in the U.A.E. We wanted to see the Valley of the Kings and Karnak so Luxor was added to the list with Alexandria on the table. Knowing the price of flights change like the wardrobe of a host on MTV's Award shows, we started looking for the best deals. Surprisingly Egypt Air wasn't the cheapest, but was the quickest to and from Abu Dhabi. Jordanian Air was cheaper, but with a layover in Jordan. Turkish Airlines had good prices and better flight times, but with a layover in Istanbul. We all said the same thing, wouldn't it be cool to visit Egypt, Jordan and Turkey at the same time. It may have been the excitement of planning the upcoming trip or may have been the wine, who knows. All I knew for sure was we now had 3 countries to plan for and a short time to do it.

Like other inescapable things in life, change is bound to happen. Just a few days later we had to cut our trip short when Samantha's vacation time was shortened by her employer to accommodate newly required personal development quotas. Ah, the joys of being an adult. The decision to cut Alexandria and Jordan from our trip was tough, but something had to give. Brightside Jordan was only a few hours away, so definitely a doable long weekend trip in the future. I booked the multi city flights from Abu Dhabi to Cairo to Istanbul and back to Abu Dhabi with excitement and disappointment of not having Amman on the list. But we now had the when and where, so all we needed was what to do. I emailed numerous Egyptian tour companies found on TripAdvisor recommended by friends before making a final decision. I found a budget friendly company that allowed us to customize the trip to suit our tastes and wallets. They would pick us up at the airport and provide all transportation and guides for the different tours as well as arrange the hotel stays in Cairo and Luxor. The only thing I didn't like was the required down payment over the internet for the Hotels and flight to and from Luxor. The process seemed outdated and unsecure at best, with a sense of I'm being scammed running through my head like a bright red truck with flashing lights and loud siren. The reviews online mentioned this step with no problems being reported, so we paid the ransom. I would've preferred using PayPal or something similar, but it turned out ok anyway.

Not knowing diddly squat about Turkey or Istanbul I did a quick web search for some guidance. I knew where Turkey was located and it was a Muslim country but not much else. When I read the previous name of Istanbul I became very excited. I must have just forgotten world history or had a brain fart. It was only after discovering Istanbul was in fact Constantinople I realized the historical significance of the city. It was a real duh-huh moment for sure. I immediately kicked into Roman fanboy mode after realizing we would soon be visiting the Eastern Capitol of the Roman Empire, the city that sets on both Europe and Asia with historical ties to both continents. After finding a reasonably priced day tour to the Ancient city of Ephesus from Istanbul, with airfare included, the itinerary was complete. So Ms. Rosemary, Ms. Samantha and o'l Tricky Dick (me) would fly to Cairo, Luxor, Istanbul and Ephesus for the winter break, setting-up another adventure during Christmas and New Year's holiday for Alexander County Abroad.

Cairo

We got off to a great start with Ms. Rosemary driving us from Madinat Zayed to the Airport in Abu Dhabi because her car rental company provided free off-site parking at the airport and it sure beat that long bus ride from the west. The afternoon flight time was nice, giving us time to visit the Airport Lounge before take-off. A non-stop economy class flight to Cairo on Egypt air with old school LCD monitors hanging from the luggage bends evenly spaced throughout the plane. I didn't mind the tiny monitor placed several rows in front of me as much as the 1940's black and white movie everybody was forced to watch. It was in reality a precursor of things to come.

As we landed in Cairo, all I could see from the air was endless desert and a strip of green outlining the Nile River. It was late in the evening with stars visible in the horizon. Our Egypt contact Ahmed met us at customs helping us pass through the busy lines with ease. He was a nice man born and raised in Cairo who spoke very good English. Ahmed ushered us through the hectic airport past the aggressive taxi drivers waiting just outside the exit doors. He had warned us to walk fast and not let anyone grab our bags on the way to our private car.

The slowed tourism combined with an already poor economy had caused many service workers to become aggressive out of desperation. A common tactic was to grab tourist's luggage and "help" them to a taxi for a tip. Stepping outside was like we were famous celebrities and the taxi drivers were the paparazzi trying to get our attention with loud shouts and frantic hand gestures. We were all glad to be inside the perceived safety of our private van as Ahmed introduced us to the driver Samir. Ahmed said don't worry my friends Samir is the best driver in all of Cairo. That's when he asked for the rest of the money for the tour. It seemed a little odd to ask for the money while we sat in the dark airport parking lot, kind of shady like a drug deal, but he accepted cash or card. With a smile Ahmed pulled out a portable credit card reader and said no problem.

We headed out of the airport and ran straight into bumper to bumper traffic as far as the eye could see in both directions. Within 30 seconds of riding down the congested road we knew our lives were in danger with no way out. The four lane highway had six or seven lanes jammed together with angry drivers weaving and dodging for position like a real life game of frogger. Not one car stayed in the marked lanes as drivers honked horns and flashed lights pushing each other out of the way. There was no rhyme or reason for the insanity of driving in Cairo. The rules are there are no rules and can confidently say I would never ever try to drive in that madness. With that said, they should market the driving around from place to place as part of the tour. It's a thrill ride the whole time, much like an amusement park without the safety equipment and guidelines. I would mount some cameras to record first time visitor's reactions and post them on YouTube for a nice second source of income. The look on our faces must have been priceless and worth at least 500,000 views easy. As we drove deeper into the city the initial shock and awe of the traffic was overshadowed by the unexpectedly low level standard of living. Ahmed had warned us things were bad, but were in fact slowly improving.

The dirty and worn streets were littered with trash and debris indicating a break down in infrastructure. All the cars and trucks looked old and abused with dents and scratches from bumper to bumper, indicators of the poor economy. Pavement turned to dirt as we drove to a hotel I had requested for its proximity to the Pyramids. I knew things would be rough in this area, but I didn't know the whole city was in this low and dismal state. Samantha and I grew-up poor, but not this poor. It reminded me of the Great Depression described by my grandparents.

After an hour of crazy traffic we pulled up to a rundown building that looked closed for the night. Ahmed called someone on the phone and a very nice man, named Gouda, opened the front door and led us to the "penthouse" rooms. The man motioned for a younger guy to carry our bags, but I had to help the poor fellow half way up the stairwell. He had run out of steam trying to carry 2 bags and just gave up as Gouda fussed and shook his head. The building was very old but had a certain charm to it. The rooftop rooms had faux wood paneling reminding me of several single wide trailers I once called home. They looked like something found in a camper, but had a full-sized bed and bathroom and a view to die for. The first 2 hotels I requested were booked solid, but the little Sphinx Guest House filled my criteria with vacancies. The amazing view and friendly staff are second to none, if you're in search of an authentic vacation with a real life feel. There were no uniforms worn by the staff and no free amenities in the room, just a place to rest your head and glimpse how adventurers of the old world traveled.

I barely noticed a tour guide working for Ahmed when we arrived at the hotel. The excitement of seeing the Pyramids had me in a tizzy. It was now 9:00pm and our tour guide Muhammed was anxious to show us around the area. He was very nice and spoke good English with a thick Egyptian accent. We hadn't been briefed on this part of the vacation, but it was very much appreciated. Muhammed asked if we were hungry for some authentic Egyptian food or ready for bed. Ha-ha, as Ms. Rosemary said we were all a little peckish. He gave us the option of where to eat, so we let him decide.

Muhammed had an easy smile and accommodating demeanor. As we walked down the dark and dirty street people approached looking for a quick dollar as Muhammed ushered them away with some harsh sounding Arabic phrases. After walking to a main street we hopped into a local taxi, which was an old VW van minus the sliding door and engine cover. It was a very nonchalant attitude for catching a ride as anyone could join us as we sped down the road. What would most westerners say or do if their taxi stopped to pick someone else up as they travelled to their destination. Oh my, the crazy world we live in. We hopped out of the cab as Muhammed negotiated the price for us. It was only a few US dollars equaling 20 Egyptian pounds. Well worth it for the experience.

We walked across the street to a small restaurant, not knowing what to order we asked Muhammed to order for us. The total price was 30 Egyptian Pounds for all of us, so we bought that round. That's like 4 US dollars for take away and no drinks, but enough food for the 4 of us. Muhammed took us to a shisha bar with televised soccer games to eat our dinner. The equivalent to a sports bar I guess. We ordered bottled water and coffee for letting us eat there.

Muhammed told us stories of his childhood and places to visit before we left. He had taken us to a very non-touristy spot with many locals giving us a skeptical look as we joined their everyday activities. The whole experience so far was beyond words as my mind tried to process the whole day. We enjoyed the great tasting take-out and strong Egyptian coffee, or at least the girls did. I do not drink any coffee as it tastes like crap in my humble opinion. The simple dish probably equivalent to cheap diner food was fabulous and Samantha said it tasted like food some of the Egyptian teachers at her school brought for various celebrations. I wondered if Waffle House type food would taste good to Egyptians like it does to Americans. I don't know if it's the grease or the ambiance that make American diners so popular.

The blue collar vibe felt nice making it easy to relax in such a foreign environment. In my experience the lack of money usually fosters compassion and goodwill toward others. The contrast between the UAE and Egypt was striking. The oil money promotes independence and arrogance while tourism demands a polite and open arms attitude. With that said, I felt much safer in the UAE. The failing Egyptian economy had left many in dire straits and desperate people tend to do bad things. Having a local guide gave us needed confidence to explore away from the tourist areas with the perceived notion of protection.

It was near 11:00pm and we needed to get some sleep for the full day ahead of us. Muhammed walked us back to the hotel as he tried chatting up Ms. Rosemary to no avail. Luckily Gouda was waiting for us so we could walk straight to our room without delay. We settled into our rooms and tried to get some sleep as the thin walls let in all the noises from the streets below.

The Great Pyramid Day Tour

After a sleepless night we awoke before sunrise to find Ms. Rosemary enjoying the view of the Pyramids from our rooftop perch. The poor excuse of a shower had running water, but that was about it. Those little inconvenient distractions faded away as I gazed at the Great Pyramids and mysterious Sphinx in the early morning light. Gouda and his daughter got up early to cook us breakfast as it was part of our room package. We walked down the worn stairs to the kitchen and it felt like something out of a history novel. We sat at an old farm table as the daughter served us homemade Egyptian food. The intimate setting was overwhelming as visions of past visitors filled my head. How many people had visited this hotel to enjoy the ridiculous views of the Pyramids? Gouda was the owner of this hotel past down for 2 centuries and I worried about his families future. The world had changed and they stood still, confused about how to evolve and prosper in this new world. I knew the proximity to the Pyramids made this place a goldmine but the owners had no idea how to capitalize on the advantage.

Our transport arrived early. The new driver hurried us into our private van in order to stay on his schedule. Our new tour guide, Hesham, was well educated in ancient Egyptian history. He had a very likeable personality and spoke with a charming Egyptian accent. Hesham went over the day's itinerary to make sure it was to our liking. We would visit the Egyptian Museum, a paper factory, and break for lunch before the main attraction at the Giza Plateau. The daylight didn't help the view from the van as we sped down the dilapidated roads of Cairo. The traffic was still crazy but not as busy as the previous night. The city was an odd blend of old and new. Automobiles zoomed around as people went about their daily lives like any other city in the world, but many residents drove wagon like contraptions pulled by donkeys and horses. It was a very strange mix like something out of a sci-fi movie with someone riding a horse down Main Street while talking on a cell phone. I've seen people ride a horse and use a cellphone on a farm or in a wooded trail, but never in a crowded international metropolis. The backdrop of the city filled with numerous tall buildings in disrepair and unfinished states only added to the cinematic feel of my perception. As we drove toward the museum Hesham had the driver stop on a bridge overlooking the famous Nile River for a great photo opportunity. Egypt's natural lifeline for the past 5000 years is also the longest river in the world. It was actually larger than I had imagined, able to accommodate huge river cruise ships with ease. We hopped back into the van and headed straight to the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities.

Egyptian Museum

Arriving at the museum before it opened allowed us time to roam around the courtyard and take pictures of the many artifacts on display. It was the only time we could take pictures since cameras weren't allowed in the museum. That was a real bummer, but what do you do. The old building looked like, well an old museum. Probably because it was in fact the same building first opened in 1902 with little to none in the way of improvements since then. In my mind the museum itself should be in a museum with all the rich history it contained. I real liked the look and feel of the old place, but it didn't look very secure. I guess that's why a military squad was positioned outside with barbed wire fencing and road blockades. The burnt shell of Egyptians National Party building next door stands as a sober reminder of the 2011 revolts when thieves broke into the museum causing damage to some artifacts while stealing others.

Our cameras were kept in a small building near the front gate, placed in unlocked cubby bins in exchange for a numbered marker. Hesham had warned us not leave the memory cards in the cameras as they sometimes disappeared. This made us feel uneasy leaving several thousand dollars' worth of equipment in the hands of thieving strangers, but we had no say in the matter. Hesham led us into the museum just as the doors opened. The place was jammed picked with ancient artifacts displayed in glass cases and large statues lined the walls. The two story museum housed over 160,000 pieces spanning 5000 years of Egyptian history. Hesham gave us detailed information on certain artifacts he felt held significance meaning in the history of Ancient Egypt. I liked all of the historic displays, but King Tutankhamun was the star of the show. We entered a room displaying the famous golden mask and sarcophagus of King Tut surrounded by other personal items. Another section displayed a golden throne and chariot with other furniture pieces. Several large glass displays housed four huge gold colored nesting boxes that protected the Pharaohs body for over 3000 years, each fitting inside the next like a Russian doll set. It was such an elaborately odd way to bury the rich and famous people of that time period.

One thing I hated was the nickel and dime antics of some attractions we visited and the Egyptian Museum was among them. Charging extra for exhibits housed with all the other exhibits is just outdated in my opinion. Why not just charge a little more on each ticket and call it a day? So after several hours of looking at dead bodies, used jewelry, ancient Tupperware and huge garden gnomes we left the old museum to tour a papyrus paper factory. Luckily the cameras were safe and sound as we grabbed them on the way out.

Papyrus Paper Factory

The paper factory was definitely a tourist trap, but fun nonetheless. A guide gave us a demonstration on how the paper was made from papyrus plants and what the fake sugarcane paper looked like so not to be fooled on the streets by slick talking shysters. It was really a great sales gimmick that worked on us. We bought several pieces of papyrus paper with "handmade" art work on them and a couple of bookmarks inscribed with hieroglyphic symbols of our names. Several workers whispered to me I was a lucky man; meaning I had 2 wives. This must have been a common sales tactic as it was repeated several more times during our stay in Egypt. Lucky man indeed. We left the little paper factory and headed to a lovely restaurant with a view of the Pyramids. Revitalized we went straight to the main event.

The Giza Plateau

The Pyramids were a long uphill walk from the entry gate, filled with relentless pushy solicitors looking to scam tourist for a quick dollar. Luckily our tour included a ride to the Pyramids bypassing the mayhem. I never realized the Pyramids sat on top a hill because all the pictures I'd seen looked like flat ground. Stepping out of the van into the midday sun we marched toward what felt like victory to me. I fell behind the others as I snapped several dozen pictures trying to capture the moment. I was surprised at the scale; they were much larger than I imagined making it hard to get a decent shot. Hesham offered to take our picture in front of the Great Pyramid and as we climbed the very object of our affection. What a thrill to really touch such a truly iconic part of ancient history. Content to just climb the massive blocks we didn't pay the extra cash to venture inside the Pyramid. I just sat on a piece of history and pondered what life would have been like during the construction of such a monumental undertaking.

The girls soon wanted to venture over to the backside of the complex for the cheesy pyramid pics. I agreed thinking it would be a great spot to capture the Pyramids with a backdrop of Cairo. Knowing we would be there on Christmas day we all brought Santa hats, well I had a red toboggan (knit cap) and the girls had Santa hats. I couldn't find one to fit my fat head. Hesham snapped a few pics of us wearing our hats and then proceeded to conduct a photo shoot with Ms. Rosemary. It was fun watching her pretend to touch the tip of the Pyramid and then hold it in her hand and other silly poses. It was then Samantha's turn as I took pictures of Hesham taking pictures of her. I declined to succumb to the childish antics because I viewed the Pyramids as what they were, tombs of the dead.

This area had a souvenir corner set-up in the middle of nowhere like a portable flea market filled with cheap China keepsakes laid out on blankets. There were also camel and carriage rides for sale that took people to another vantage point of the Pyramids. Since we had ridden camels before we opted for the carriage ride. I will say the views were fantastic and worth the extra price, but the bumpy ride not so much. After spending sometime at the Pyramids it was time to see the mysterious Sphinx.

To get to the Sphinx we had to walk the dreaded gauntlet of souvenir hell. Unlike the one on the hill, this long corridor was full of overly aggressive salesmen with little regard for personal space. We had read about this tourist trap and knew to just walk straight through without making eye contact or verbal recognition. Those guys were very persistent and battered us with pleas to buy something the whole way, but we finally made it to the Sphinx without incident. Ms. Rosemary and Samantha did the kiss the Sphinx pictures as I looked on.

We wandered around the Sphinx imagining why it was built and what people must have thought as it came to be. The many years of exposure had eroded much of the exterior and the nose is of course missing. One story describes a 1300's Muslim leader knocking it off to show the superstitious people it was just a statue and not a god. Another blames Napoleons army using it as target practice. Both are interesting stories, but nobody knows for sure. My moneys on erosion and gravity for the botched nose job. It had been a very long day with the sun now very low in the sky and I wanted to get back to the hotel for some awesome evening shots of the Pyramids.

On the way out I made a mistake by buying 5 papayas scrolls for 5 euros, thinking the guy would be happy I bought something. But instead he pushed for another sale and like a shark sensing blood he went full on crazy. This guy wouldn't take no for an answer leaning into me blocking my way. I raised my hand with the intention of pushing the guy out of my way when Hesham came over and did it for me as he spoke something in Arabic calming the man down. Hesham had been helpful and informative all day and I'm glad we had a guide to help us navigate the craziness of Cairo's greatest attractions.

Thinking we were finished for the day I started thanking the driver and guide for their wonderful service. That's when Hesham informed us we had one more stop before the day was over. Ah man, I could see our hotel from where we stood. Thankful for their service throughout the day we agreed to one last tourist trap. We drove a short distance to a perfume shop where the workers gave us free tea while we tried different scents and negotiated prices. I don't know how, but I managed to spill most of my tea down my shirt and into my lap. This got a big laugh from everybody, even other shoppers in the store. I was glad I could make others happy at my own expense. Finally it was time to call it a day and head back to our wonderful hotel view.

Once back at the hotel we all grabbed a camera and tried our best to drain those batteries. The sun was rapidly setting on the horizon and the sky had a cool pink and blue hue reflecting off some clouds. I don't think that view could ever get old. The entrance to the Pyramids was on the same street as our hotel, busy with people winding down for the day. Like parked cars, there were dozens of horses and camels lining the street. A young colt broke away from its owner and made a beeline for freedom toward the desert, inside the Pyramid gate, as the man chased after it. Camels growled asking for dinner as several animals ate from piles of trash left on the street. We watched in amazement as no one attempted to stop them or clean up the trash. Several owners placed sacks of fresh cut grass along the road for the animals to snack on.

These animals were not pets but workers earning a living alongside the people, each benefiting from the other. We noticed the animals in Cairo (the camels in particular) looked and acted happy. I'm not saying all animals should be treated this way just that the people seemed to appreciate the work from the animals and gave them more respect in return.

Life was a little different in Cairo with lowered expectations of acceptable living conditions or at least in the areas we visited. Many depended on the constant flow of world travelers for a main source of income and as weary tourist flooded our street heading in many different directions experienced peddlers maneuvered in for one last sale. The shiny air-conditioned tour buses full of disposable income from around the world never stopped, not even after dark.

Soon the Pyramids would come to life during the light and sound show narrating the history of Ancient Egyptian Pharaohs. To witness the Pyramids and Sphinx illuminated with dramatic colors and laser lights as loud narrations echoed across the Giza Plateau was very entertaining. The thunderous sound effects coincided with the changing lights to give an almost comical overdone performance, Dun dun duun! We got to see the show for free from our hotel patio and hear it again after we went to bed, in more than one language. A good word of advice is to buy several pairs of ear plugs when traveling. The next morning we would fly to Luxor to see the Valley of the Kings and the city of Karnak.

After getting ready for bed I sat reading emails letting the day's events sink in and process them before falling asleep. My brother asked how we liked Egypt and what it was like seeing the Pyramids. After thinking about it for a moment I wrote this response before taking a 6 hour nap:

" _What can I say we saw the flipping Great Pyramids! Words don't do them justice or at least my words don't give them what they need. The many years of wanting to see these Ancient Architectural Marvels swept over me as I started to cry with delight during this surreal moment. Well, that's how I wanted to feel but I didn't. Seeing these awesome piles of massive blocks was well worth the trip, but not emotionally uplifting transcending me to another realm of consciousness kind of awesome. I mean it's not like the Pyramids do anything besides sit there, for eternity. Don't get me wrong I loved seeing them and climbing on them and being able to say I've been to the Giza Plateau. I just found it kind of sad modern Egyptians are still dependent on the blood, sweat and tears of people that died thousands of years ago. What if the ruins didn't exist and the ancient Pharaohs never amounted to anything and just faded away in history? What would modern Egypt be to day? "_

Luxor

It was still dark as we left our hotel for the airport. Too early for breakfast and too tired to care as we drove for an hour before arriving at our destination. The flight was pleasant and arrived on time. A very nice man named Muhammad greeted us at the gate and drove us to the Lotus hotel setting on the east bank of the Nile River. We couldn't believe how clean and green Luxor was compared to Cairo! The streets were in great shape and people drove like they had some common sense. Luxor was a small town with lush vegetation and friendly vibe, known in ancient times as Thebes. Almost the complete opposite to its urban counterpart city to the north, but still a powerhouse in the world of ancient Egyptian treasures.

Arriving at the hotel before check-in time we stored our luggage and went for a stroll down the street, popping in and out of several gift shops looking for good deals on cheap keepsakes. Those guys started very high and we started very low in our negotiation talks for cheap china made Egyptian wares. Not really meeting on any common ground we moved on.

Several horse and buggies set idle waiting on hapless tourists looking for the whole Luxor experience. We weren't going far so there was no need for such a wasteful expense. A group of taxi drivers fought for our attention as we walked, but put off by a persistent young man riding in one of the carriages. He followed us for 20 minutes never letting up, first with one sales pitch and then another. Calling me boss first and asking if those were my 2 wives, making me a lucky man. He then started calling me mustache man. I don't think he knew the meaning of that word since I had a short but full beard at the time. This kid just wouldn't shut up as he followed us up one street and down the next. No matter what we told him, he just kept on and on and on. I finally said guess where I'm from and I'll hire you for later in the day, giving him 3 chances. The same game I played in the U.A.E. The young man had a surprised look on his face and didn't have a quick response to such a question. He was silent for a whole 30 seconds before saying Ireland. I shook my head. He slowly said Australia and again I shook my head. Thinking really hard he paused for a moment before answering South Africa. I said you lose better luck next time. Then he said where, where you from? Smiling, I said USA. Surprised, he said really! I guess they don't get too many Southerners in Luxor these days. Thankfully we had made it back to our hotel with a security guard denying him entry.

Soon after getting checked-in to the hotel we were greeted by our tour guide Mahmoud. He was an older gentleman schooled in Cairo with decades of experience on everything Egyptian. We had paid for a private tour but agreed to allow a married couple to join us. They seemed nice and two more wouldn't take away from our experience. If anything they made it better. Mahmoud explained the itinerary and led us to the water for a short boat ride across the Nile. The views were amazing with huge river cruise ships and ancient ruins on one side and residential houses and pastures on the other. We rode a boat on the Nile River! I will write it again; we rode a boat on the Nile River. It never gets old.

A van was waiting to take us on our day tour of Luxor. We would see both the East and West banks of the Nile. After crossing the Nile to the West bank we would first visit Colossi of Memnon, The Valley of the Kings, and Temple of Deir al-Bahri. Once back on the East bank we would visit Karnak and Luxor Temples.

Colossi of Memnon

The first stop was the two gigantic statues known as Colossi of Memnon. Just two ridiculously sized statues in terrible condition setting in an empty field. The 3,400 year old statues once stood guard to Amenhotep III memorial temple. Purposely built in the flood plan for water effects eventually caused the structure to fall in disrepair. Later rulers used the stones for other projects leaving the site abandoned except for the damaged statues. For several centuries one statue is documented to have made sounds early in the mornings after an earthquake destroyed its top half. The sounds stopped once the top was repaired by the Roman Emperor Septimius Severus in 199 A.D.

Mahmoud didn't even get out of the van for this stop, but their definitely worth a picture. Even at this little roadside pit stop several pushy salesmen harassed us for not buying some cheap China made trinkets. They followed us back to the van and continued rambling even after the driver shut the door in their face. If anything they were persistent.

The Valley of the Kings

Next we headed to the Valley of the Kings. Again no cameras were allowed and we didn't try to sneak any cell phone pictures. I wanted to, but didn't. We saw several people get busted by plain clothed security guards, but nothing happened as a result. It was sure hot at the desolate valley of the dead with a lot of walking required to see some of the more famous tombs. The tombs were carved into the limestone mountain with passageways leading downward to multiple chambers. Some meant to deceive would-be robbers while others housed personal items, countless riches and of course the mummified bodies. The tombs were painted with hieroglyphics and decorated with monuments paying tribute to the many Egyptian gods. Mahmoud gave us the low down on the tombs and a list of his favorites based on preservation and ease of access. To be honest I don't remember which tombs we explored because we couldn't take pictures to document the trip. We did explore several very colorful and deep tombs, but not King Tuts. Again we wouldn't pay extra for something that should've been included in the price of the ticket. Mahmoud didn't push the tourist trap and even hinted it was a waste of money. This could've been his way of keeping us on schedule, but IDK.

I do know Mahmoud had quite a few good stories to tell as we walked around in the blazing midday sun. One being the mummies in Cairo are mislabeled because they had been discarded and piled together by ancient thieves long ago leaving no way to tell who was who. Another involved local residents living near the Valley of the Kings. Supposedly those residents had dug underneath their own homes searching for buried artifacts. And when one was found they sold it on the black-market instead of turning it over to the authorities. As a result the government relocated all the residents to new housing near Luxor, forbidding anyone access to their old homes. I have no idea if any of the stories are true but he sure told them well. He also believed King Tut was probably buried in someone else's tomb because of his untimely death. Mahmoud suggested Tut was hastily buried in the only tomb available at the time and when the original owner died was placed above Tut in a different chamber. When thieves plundered the top tomb of all its riches they of course stopped digging. Not knowing about the unusual circumstance of Tuts death leaving the boy King untouched for thousands of years until Howard Carter rediscovered it in 1922.

Leaving the Valley of the Kings Mahmoud asked if we'd like to see a local craft shop where locals made authentic Egyptian merchandise. We all agreed since it was on the way to our next stop and what's one more tourist trap going to hurt. The driver pulled off the paved road onto a dirt parking lot stopping at a small group of dingy buildings. We followed Mahmoud toward the building as the owner came out and greeted us. He was a very happy man and a natural born salesman if I've ever seen one. The front of the building had a covered walkway with several men sitting on the ground while hand carving obelisks, pyramids, scarabs, cats and other items out of local raw materials such as basalt, talc and alabaster. A lead man started a rehearsed routine explaining the difference between cheap Chinese reproductions and real handmade artifacts. He asked a question and the other workers answered in harmony. The married couple considered it demoralizing and degrading as they loudly voiced their negative opinions. I believed those people chose to work in the tourism trade and the show was part of the job which they all seemed to enjoy as proof by their smiles and jovial attitudes. I thought it was kind of cool and appreciated their efforts in trying to guilt us into buying some merchandise. The three of us browsed around the adjoining gift shop looking to put our newly acquired skills to the test. All the merchandise really did feel sturdier than the cheap knickknacks in Cairo, but sticker shock had us looking on the clearance rack. Free tea and coffee was offered as we shopped adding to our desire to purchase something out of gratitude. There were no prices on anything, yet another widely used sales tactic in Egypt. We found a few small pieces that would fit in our luggage and started the negotiations. The beginning quote was 1200 Egyptian pounds which was like 150 US dollars. That was a little steep for a couple of figurines no bigger than a cheap wine opener, handmade or not. We counteroffered 400 EGP and the salesman came down to 1000 EGP. I politely said I think we're just too far apart to make a deal today and excused ourselves from the sales counter. To our surprise he let us walk away with no resistance at all.

When we found Ms. Rosemary she was debating on which cat statue to buy, the big one or the really big one. The largest one being almost life sized in the traditional Egyptian cat pose. She worried about the weight of her luggage and how her real cats would react to the imposing statue. One guess on which one she bought. The married couple looked bored out of their minds as we finally made our way back to the van. Samantha and I were standing beside the van when the owner of the shop approached us with a final offer for the two figurines. With a thick Egyptian accent he thanked us for visiting Egypt and especially his shop. He now considered us friends wanted to make us happy. The man was laying it on thick! He said today you name your price, just tell me what you think these handmade art pieces are worth. I knew he was a natural born salesman the moment I laid eyes on him. Samantha looked at me and I looked at the owner and offered 400 EGP ($50) for the pair. He said no problem my friends as he handed the pieces to me and wished us safe travels. I had no idea if that was a good deal or a bad deal. The point was to give a little to the people that needed it. We didn't have a ton to money to blow, but we did pay 10 times more for two figurines in Luxor than we did for six trinkets in Cairo.

It was early afternoon at this point so we all decided to stop for lunch on the way to the Temple of Deir al-Bahri. Mahmoud gave us a few options, but we let him decide. He picked a great little family owned place away from the city with a fantastic view of the Egyptian countryside. The restaurant was on the second floor with a lovely open balcony. The meal was included in the tour, but drinks were extra. Different bowls of food were placed on the table and passed around like we were in someone's house, each scooping what they wanted. The food tasted very good as we sat in the wonderful outdoor weather each telling stories of past adventures. A delightful surprise to us was the available beer and wine selections. Egypt seemed to be a little more relaxed on the alcohol restrictions than other Muslim countries.

Queen Hatshepsut's Temple

On the way to the Temple of Deir al-Bahri (Queen Hatshepsut's Temple) Mahmoud told us another interesting story on the supposed corruption in the Egyptian Museum. He claimed many of the ancient artifacts in the museum are high quality fakes made in Luxor by crooked craftsmen. He insisted several Museum officials commissioned the copies and sold the real artifacts to the highest bidder on the black-market for many years before being discovered. Mahmoud said even though many Egyptians know the truth we go along with the charade so tourist will keep coming to Egypt because we need the money they bring. Dispirited, he claimed nobody knew for sure how many pieces were forgeries but believed it to be in the thousands. The country of Egypt sent out a message to the world asking for any and all ill-gotten artifacts to be returned immediately with little to no response or help from other countries. I have no idea if any of its true, but what a story.

Everyone knows or should know London, Paris, Istanbul, New York and The Vatican possess Egyptian Obelisks. Most where taken after the fall or during the decline of the great Egyptian Empire with some being spoils of war. And I don't believe retrieving those lost artifacts would increase the number of visitors to Egypt. If anything it preserves them from corrupt officials and desperate residents. Even if the ugly stories are true, Egypt is still a magical place with unbelievable history everyone on Earth should visit before they die. It is definitely a top 5 place to visit, Period!

Arriving at the Temple, Mahmoud warned us of the tourist trap at the entrance. It was the same deal as the Great Pyramids with a one way in, one way out path, filled with desperate people trying to make a living selling crap to tourists. At this point we were over the rude and forceful tactics used by the relentless trinket pushers. Only a few days in and we acted like seasoned vets with a tight group formation while watching each other's blindside as we barreled ahead like a well-oiled machine. Straight to the ticket booth before catching a ride on the little train that took us out to the main site. It was a very large structure that had been reassembled years ago for the soul purpose of attracting tourists, much like the famous Roman ruins in Italy. Unbelievably several frankincense tree roots were discovered surrounding the Temple in the late 1800's, thought to have been brought from the land of Punt by order of Queen Hatshepsut as depicted on the Temple walls. A permanent marker was erected near the entrance displaying one of the roots. As I stopped to take a picture Mahmoud casually said the root is replaced every 6 months with a new root for appearance sake, but real roots were unearthed here many years ago and put in storage to preserve them. More smoke and mirrors.

Walking up the ramps to the building Mahmoud was saying something about the history of the Temple, but I tuned him out and captured the surrounding rock face and green landscape back toward Luxor. We walked around the Temple admiring the ancient art works painted on the walls as Ms. Rosemary found an admirer of her own. A little Egyptian fellow had tried rendering his services as a would-be tour guide and wouldn't take no for an answer. Where ever she went he went, like a crazy 3D shadow. I found it amusing, she did not. As we moved in to help her, the fellow finally turned his unwanted services toward a pair of hapless young ladies.

Mahmoud gathered our small group to an open doorway with a nicely preserved painting protected from the suns rays. As we took a few photos a man came out of nowhere and warmly greeted Mahmoud. The man then held out his hand expecting a tip for letting us take the photos. Are you kidding me with this nickel and dime crap again! It's all part of the game in Egypt I guess, so with a smile I said sorry no cash and walked away. After that exchange we headed back toward the parking lot, taking the train to the exit and marching through the gauntlet of peddlers before finally resting in our cozy van.

We had spent most of the day on the West Bank of the Nile and now headed to Karnak and the Luxor temples back on the East Bank. No boat ride this time just a long ride in the van. Looking out the window it was easy to see how the Nile River gave life to the desert that is Egypt, with the countless rows of sugarcane, corn and various other veggies creating a sea of green fields. Farmers worked in the fields with machines and animals alike, living off the land as nature intended.

Karnak Temple

The drive to Karnak took longer than expected and the sun hung low in the sky as we walked through the entrance toward the 5000 year old ruins. It was a brisk 10 minute walk to the main site with the city walls growing taller with every step we took. The unbelievable scale of the complex boggled my mind as how and why the Pharaohs built something so massive. The city gate could hold King Kong at bay and the round decorated columns belonged on Mt. Olympus. The 3,500 year old decorative updates obviously influenced the Greeks and Romans and probably other ancient civilizations. The Karnak complex was once part of the famous city of Thebes, as described by the Greek poet Homer. The great temple was abandoned after the Roman Emperor Constantine ordered all pagan temples closed in 323 AD. Mahmoud said the whole complex lay partially buried by sand until the late 1800's with excavations still underway. The elaborate temple was just as grand as any Roman ruins we'd seen with a much longer history. During the height of Egyptian power Thebes competed with Memphis as Egypt's capital city and largest city of the old world.

Mahmoud walked us around the complex filling our heads with mountains of information as each section was added by a different Pharaoh, all over a 1000 year period. He showed us century's old Christian graffiti and explained why the curators moved Amenhotep lll's large red granite scarab. The story goes; if a woman circles the scarab seven times she will find love or become pregnant, so they decided to move the statue to a larger area of the Sacred Lake to accommodate the many desperate tourists.

Luxor Temple

The sun was now setting as we hastily made our way to the Luxor Temple just down the road. Once upon a time the two temples were connected by an ancient carriage way, but now lay divided by modern mans progress. It was the Luxor Temple we saw earlier in the day on our Nile River boat cruise. We had come full circle, ending back at the ancient city of Thebes now known as Luxor. Stars twinkled in the dark sky and lights cast distinguishing shadows of mammoth statues of long dead Pharaohs. The effect made for great photos as I happily preserved our memories. Unlike other ancient ruins Luxor Temple houses an 800 year old mosque still in use today. Mahmoud said the temple was built to honor Egyptian kings but had been a Roman and Christian headquarters before being converted to an Islamic stronghold. He also said the temple had become a landfill after centuries of rubbish were piled around it nearly covering the entire structure forming a manmade hillside. I guess that's one way to keep people out.

It had been another very long day as we finally headed back to the hotel. We said our goodbyes and thanked Mahmoud and the driver for their services in the way of a tip. Noticing an English pub across the street we decided a nice burger and adult beverage was in order to celebrate our travels thus far. With a full belly and sleepy gaze we retired for the night and prepared for our flight back to Cairo the next morning.

Nile Dinner Cruise in Cairo

Back in Cairo we were driven to a different hotel toward the center of town. It wasn't quite lunchtime and we still had 7 hours before a Nile River boat cruise, cheesy I know but it was our first time in Egypt. I hadn't really planned for this downtime so we just went for a walk to meet some locals and see some non-tourist places. Back in the grimy and crowded capital, it was really eye-opening to say the least. There were of course a lot of buildings with lively businesses and people walking to and fro, but it all looked worn down in a declining state. Trash lined the streets as if invisible to the residents with no one lifting a finger to clean it up. I assumed the public sanitation service was suspended or needed to be severally revamped. The whole city was in a state of disrepair with infrastructure projects moving at a snail's pace. The people seemed nice and accommodating in both cities, but the vibe in Cairo was so different than Luxor. More people more problems I guess.

We found it strange random people stopped us to say thank you for visiting Egypt please tell all your friends it's safe. This happened several times randomly throughout our trip. They all had a similar speech so we wondered if it was a push by the Egyptian Government to attract more tourists. It felt friendly in a creepy kind of way. It's real easy to spot tourist in Cairo, with our wide-eyed stares and cautious demeanor. I thought it funny GCC country residents stuck out just as much as we westerners did with their crisp bright white Kanduras and finely tailored Shaylas and Abayas. All in stark contrast to the blue collar clothes found in Cairo. Taking a break from the streets we enjoyed a lite lunch in a nearby restaurant.

Unbeknownst to me, the girls had taken a silent vote on returning to the hotel for some downtime. I wanted to keep going, but had no real idea were to go or how to get there. Surprisingly many of the local businesses closed from 1 – 4 during the afternoon, a common practice in much of the world and what we referred to as naptime in the U.A.E. Well, that took the wind out of my sail so back to the hotel we went.

As time drew near for the dinner cruise we gathered in the lobby waiting for our driver. Not really sure who it would be or when they would arrive. This type of easy going attitude toward everyday affairs drove me crazy. Especially coming from the United States where we like to get things done in an orderly fashion instead of just letting it happen. Well, unless you're in a work union. This laid back way of life was very common in this part of the world and I viewed it as laziness and incompetence. But in reality things got finished and people lived their lives like anyone else with less stress and aggravation. Maybe we have it backwards and should just let things happen, if they happen. IDK.

After waiting in the lobby for what seemed like forever, a young man came bouncing in with a big smile on his face asking if we were ready for the night dinner cruise. It was the same deal as before with a quite driver and talkative tour guide. Our young guide was named Hazem and spoke very good English and several other languages. As we drove toward the Nile, Hazem talked about Egypt and answered any questions we had. Asking about his life in Cairo we learned he had decided to learn different languages at an early age knowing it would provide a better future for himself. After learning we lived in the U.A.E. he proudly announced his acceptance by Emirates airline as a new flight attendant. You could hear the excitement in his voice as he spoke of climbing the corporate ladder hoping to one day return home a successful man. Just A very enlightened story on the struggles of life in Egypt.

Arriving at the docks a familiar face greeted us as we said goodnight to Hazem. It was only fitting Muhammed would be our final tour guide in Egypt as he was also our first. He was there to not only greet us but other tourists that had booked the cruise through his company. The boat was large, able to accommodate 60 or more people with 2 decks and an open dining area with elegant décor. Muhammed sat us at one of the long linen covered tables and said enjoy as he hurried off catering to other guests. Our table had a mix of people from around the world. As the boat pulled away from the docks and drifted down the Nile we introduced ourselves enjoying lively conversation amongst our table. All were couples or groups except for one lone traveler, a tiny Chinese woman in her mid- twenties, as timid as a mouse but as brave as any man. She had decided to travel the world solo with style and grace, forging ahead with no restrictions or limitations from the outdated preconceived role of a helpless woman struggling in man's cruel world.

The delicious buffet dinner was Arabian themed with plenty to choose from, serving something for even the most pickiest of eaters. The waiters poured drinks as we dined on lamb, kebabs, curries, and veggies before sampling different sugary treats suitable for Egyptian Pharaohs. Filling refreshed and ready for a stroll we ventured up deck for the winter night starlight show. The breeze was chilly as we sailed the Nile, gazing at the bright city lights before returning below for the after dinner show.

The first act was a group of men playing live instruments and beating drums like there was no tomorrow. A man sang a few songs with the crowd singing in rhythm. Most of the songs were in Arabic with a few English tunes thrown in for good measure. People stood up and clapped their hands and sang along, really enjoying the show. I in turn enjoyed watching them enjoy the show. A pair of male dancers, dressed like a cross between a matador and waiter, preformed a strange ballet. I'm sure it had some cultural significance, but I didn't know what it was meant to represent. Next came the belly dancer, giggling and gyrating her way around the energized crowd. She wore a traditional costume that exposed most of her naked body. It seemed strange a mostly Muslim society would accept such behavior and even encourage it by clapping hands and dancing with her. People were posing for pictures, mostly men, but some small children joined in on the fun.

The final dancer, a male dressed in mostly yellow with a decoratively embroidered vest and purple head wrap, spun in circles twirling his rainbow colored skirt layered a top a second yellow colored skirt. As he spun round and round he held 3 tambourine shaped items each snugly fitting into the next, performing several talented displays of carefully choreographed movements before throwing the props to an assistant. Never slowing down or stopping as he went into the second part of his act. As he feverishly whirled round he raised the colored skirt above his head to reveal a second rainbow colored skirt, causing an unusual but enjoyable flowing appearance. Still spinning he slowly began to take the top skirt off over his head before folding it into the form of a wrapped baby, holding it dear as he finally stopped at the roar of the crowd. After a short break he performed a short encore before whirling the skirt over onlooker's heads as they screamed with delight. I thought the cheesy touristy Nile dinner cruise was very entertaining and well worth the price. This Egyptian folk dance is known as Tanoura and is thought to have originated from the Sufi Islamic inspired Whirling Dervish dance in Turkey. All I know is the guy must have been in great shape as he barely broke a sweat the whole time. This could be a cool new workout exercise coming soon! Not for me, but somebody.

It was getting late when Muhammed let us know the van was waiting to take us back to the hotel and just like that our time in Egypt came to a close. Only one more nights rest before an early morning flight to Turkey. With the Great Pyramids and ancient temples crossed off my bucket list, I searched for inner answers on the meaning of life. Ancient Egyptians seemed obsessed with death and the hereafter as some of us obsess about what they knew in pursuit of answers to our own life and death questions. Egypt had surprised me in many unexpected ways giving me yet another perspective on life leaving me to re-evaluate what matters the most in mine.

# Chapter 9

# Turkey

Leaving the warm winter temperatures of Abu Dhabi for the unpredictable weather of Turkey was part of the travel experience, but after living in the desert for so long we didn't have many winter clothes. The weather in Egypt had been chilly, but dry and sunny. Flying into Turkey the clouds looked full of rain and snow covered the nearby mountain peaks, an ominous sign of things to come. As soon as we walked off the plane the cold damp air wrapped around us like a wet blanket sending chills throughout our bodies. With chattering teeth we made our way through the surprisingly modern but crowded airport. The plan was to take a taxi to the Galata Tower thinking it would be easy for the driver to find, or possibly already know its location.

As we walked toward the exit Ms. Rosemary spotted a limo service advertising a round trip price that seemed very fair. After closer inspection the cost was comparable to a taxi, but with less hassle and solved the problem of transportation back to the airport for our flight home. Agreeing to the terms and conditions we followed the driver to our private van. Surprising to us, many Turkish people didn't speak English. The guy who sold us the car service spoke English so we assumed the driver would too, only finding out he didn't after we reached our van. I mean he spoke no English at all. We didn't understand the words coming out of his mouth and he didn't understand the words coming out of our mouths. I said Galata Tower and he looked at me like I said a curse word and maybe I did, I have no idea. Handing him a printout of the apartment location he seemed to understand where we needed to go as he pulled out of the parking deck and headed down the street. I had no idea if we were heading in the right direction or to be sold as slaves. Thinking we would find out when we got there. Samantha gave me the look and I gave her the look back. What was I supposed to do?

We decided to try Airbnb after reading many online reviews for renting a private apartment instead of the conventional hotel room; it seemed like a great idea. We found a great 2 bed 2 bath apartment next to the Galata Tower full of glowing reviews of past visitors. I asked Samantha to WhatsApp our host Nadia and let her know we were on the way. Samantha fidgeted in her seat anxiously awaiting a response. Our spirts were lifted as what looked like the world renowned Blue Mosque came into view as we drove along the Istanbul roadway. It could have been the Blue Mosque or another of several other large mosques in the city; it didn't matter because we needed a jolt of excitement to get us back on track. Crossing a bridge I could now see the Galata Tower setting atop a hill and knew we were traveling in the right direction. The streets were steeper than expected and would prove a formidable foe in our explorations. Stopping half way up the hill the driver motioned for the address, well I think that's what he was meaning. Showing him the number for our apartment, he just threw his hands in the air. That's when Samantha got a message from Nadia. She was waiting on the street and asked if we needed any guidance. Well yes we did! We arrived at the apartment in just a few minutes after Nadia spoke with the driver on the phone.

It was now snowing as we walked up the dark cobblestoned alley entering the ground floor of our building. Luckily Nadia spoke good English with a thick Turkish accent, which sounded Russia to us. The neighborhood was more authentic and less touristy with only small hotels near the Galata Tower. I previously told

Samantha and sent her an email that the apartment was on the sixth floor with no elevator, but she acted like it was news to her. I had emailed several apartment options and this was the one everybody agreed on. It was a little late for buyer's remorse now! The large stairwell was intimidating as it wrapped around the inside of the building, but there were no other options. Up the stairs we went, one step at a time, stopping every 2 floors for a breather. Even in the cool temperature I could feel sweat form on my forehead. Samantha and I only had 2 small bags and a camera bag. Ms. Rosemary had a larger bag with that heavy cat statue from Luxor in it, so I grabbed it half way up the climb.

Finally making it to the top we piled into the two bedroom apartment. Nadia's father was waiting on us and offered to carry the luggage to the bedrooms. We were like; we carried it this far I think we can manage from here buddy. Nadia's father didn't speak English so she interpreted for him. He said something to me I couldn't make out. He laughed at me and walked away. Curious I asked Nadia to translate for me. She said he couldn't believe a man living in the U.A.E. didn't know as-salaam alaykum. Well peace be upon him too. The Turkish accent had me at a loss. It sounded so foreign with a Russia feel and a strange mix mash of vowels. Stupidly I assumed since Turkey was a Muslim country they would speak more of an Arabic language. Not surprising the dress was also not very Arabic. The people, in Istanbul anyway, dressed more like Western Europe with women and men wearing pants and shirts instead of Kanduras and Abayas.

Nadia showed us the apartment answering any questions we had before handing over the keys and saying goodnight. Feeling a bit peckish we headed back down stairs to find some Turkish cuisine, the whole while dreading the walk back up to the apartment later. Just around the corner were several nice restaurants full of happy diners. Randomly picking one we had our first Turkish meal. Luckily the menu had pictures with some English captions as the waiter only knew certain English phrases. Starting with a glass of wine and trying an appetizer before committing to a main course we settled in for a nice long dinner. Reflecting on our time in Egypt and planning our time in Turkey as people came and went from tables around us. After a few more glasses of wine and some delicious food we ventured into the cold winter night exploring local shops as snow melted in our hair. Knowing the stairs up to the apartment would do us in for the night we headed that way while liquid energy still coursed through our veins.

Ephesus Day Tour

I only booked one tour for our trip to Istanbul deciding to wing it since the city seemed easy to navigate from the many blogs and videos I had found online. It was a full day tour with a short flight from Istanbul to the ancient city of Ephesus. A private car would pick us up at a nearby hotel driving us to the local airport for our flight. The hotel was only about 40 yards from our building so we grabbed a quick coffee before standing in the rainy street, waiting on our ride. Well, Ms. Rosemary and Samantha grabbed a coffee, I loathe the stuff. A van pulled up and a man walked over to us and said, well I have no idea what he said, but I gave him a receipt for the tour and he ushered us into the van. Deja-vu all over again with the no English stuff. The U.A.E. had spoiled us with only needing to know English.

Dropped off at a different airport and left to our own devices, we did find our flight and landed in Izmir airport on time. Samantha rightfully criticized the tour; compared to the Egyptian tours it lacked a certain finesse and personal touch. The language barrier didn't help matters, but I guess three adults living abroad should be able to find a local flight to a near-by city. We had the tickets in hand and the airport was modern and easy to navigate except most signs were Turkish only.

Making our way to the exit, a happy little woman named Ela greeted us with a sign reading Jolly. She was amazed my last name was Jolly, but seemed disappointed I showed up instead of some amazing person. Some old fat American man instead of some terrific unknown person her mind had created. What can I say, I am what I am. She was very energetic as she guided us to our private van. Her English was good with a comforting demeanor, but the driver no speak a the English. Is our fault the world has adopted English as the universal language? I blame MTV and YouTube. It was an hour drive till our first stop near the town of Seluck. The plan was to see the House of Mary, Ancient City of Ephesus and the Tomb of John the Apostle.

House of Virgin Mary

The first stop would be the "House of Virgin Mary", thought to be the final home of the Mary, mother of Jesus Christ. As we drove up the steep mountains of Ephesus, I thought why would anyone live on this stupidly high mountain when all the resources lay miles away toward the sea. I believe it's more of a tourist trap than actual fact as the only basis of the whole site comes from a delusional German nun born the late 1700's. She claimed John the Apostle built Mary a house near Ephesus and lived there until her death. The actual house or shrine was constructed over the ruins of a small roofless structure in the late 1800's. I guess it's possible the stories could be true but I have no idea. The little house is set high on the mountain surrounded by a lush forest very reminiscent of western N.C. There was a parking lot able to accommodate large tour buses with a well-worn path leading to the shrine. An old well at the site is believed to possess healing powers by many, but you wouldn't catch me drinking from it.

A wishing wall located below Mary's House is covered in cloth and paper notes placed there by Christian pilgrims. It's an old pagan ritual thought to bring good fortune or help with illness. Several fountains lined the wall tapping water from a spring also thought to have healing and fertility powers. I drank from it without issue. Having our fill of Christian folklore we headed back down the mountain to roam the ancient Greek ruins of Ephesus.

Ancient City of Ephesus

Thankfully the rain had stopped but the wind blew hard enough to cause tears in our eyes as Ela led us into the ruins following an ancient pathway leading all the way to the now silted port. Geological factors had created the natural sea port and closed it after several millennia's of prosperous trade. As we walked down the ancient streets I could feel the history filling my thoughts and wished the residents had cameras to document past events. The crazy stories they could tell and what unbelievable reality shows we would have to learn true history firsthand!

The city was well thought out with separated living areas and commercial spaces as well as public spaces to control the masses. The ancient city of Ephesus was amazing to me as it was ridiculously huge and once the pearl of the old world. Excavations found evidence of settlements dating back to the Bronze Age around 1500 B.C. Ela explained several earthquakes had leveled the site in the 600's A.D. until restorations began in the 20th century. Ela then got her fangirl on as she spouted historical rhetoric filling our heads with fascinating facts and ancient myths surrounding the now dead city of Ephesus. Claiming the city was mentioned in both the Christian Bible and Islamic Quran. The Bible described it as one of the seven churches and both the Quran and Bible mentions it in the story of the seven sleepers.

Ephesus was truly a metropolis of its day with running water for baths and sewer systems supplied by terra cotta pipes found throughout the city. Ela pointed out a carving of a twisted serpent on a staff similar to the symbol used for medicine today. It probably represented something else back then, but who knows for sure? The streets were lined with marble pavers that had manmade grooves for better traction during slippery weather.

Another interesting feature was the public Latrines, typically a small courtyard housing long benches with many holes and notches cutout allowing many people to conduct their business amongst friends. Ela joked the wealthy would pay others to sit on the cold slab first so it would be warm when they used it. I'm not sure what they wiped with, but read a sea sponge or cloth was placed on a stick giving us "the wrong end of a stick" phrase. Most people shared the public sponges while the wealthy carried their own. I'm not saying it's true, just something I read. I know its gross but it beats using your hand. And this is why Muslims don't eat with their left hand.

The small trench in front of the seats had running water so people could wash their hands after finishing their business. How many "civilized" people alive today would be caught dead in a place like that with open toilets and sharing cleaning sticks! Forget about the germs being passed around, the social trauma would probably cause most to seek out professional help. These were of course made for men only so woman had to use the bathroom at home and maybe a nearby bush if the situation arose.

Ela directed us toward the Celsus Library which was partially reconstructed in the early 1900's giving us the now famous 2 story facade. We walked down the street and then up the steps leading into the once grand library thinking how much things had changed since it was first constructed 1,900 years ago. Libraries once the center of all known knowledge for ancient societies had become a forgotten second thought thanks in part to computers and the internet. The carefully constructed Library had double lined walls to help preserve the precious 12,000 scrolls and act as a tomb for Gaius Julius Celsus Polemaeanus, the governor of the province of Asia. It was eventually destroyed be earthquakes and fire, left forgotten over the centuries before its modern day revival.

Several popular buildings lay scattered on the ground masking the forgotten grandeur of the Gymnasiums once equipped with bathing pools, recreation rooms, saunas and courtyards. Many Gymnasiums held classes for the youth teaching art, literature and sports. Following Ela toward the Stadium I snapped several pictures of the lifeless ruins now the reconstructed time capsule of a forgotten society.

A small group of young girls laughed as they posed in an open field as a companion ran around them while holding a selfie stick. They were quite amusing so we watched them for several minutes before moving on. Several other groups of tourists wandered around following other tour guides injecting some life back into the once bustling city. Ela drew our attention to a marble paver on the ancient pathway. Carved in it were pictures of a left foot, a woman's appearance, a broken heart and a cross or arrow; supposedly showing the way to a bordello promising to mend any man's broken heart. Could this be proof to verify the world's oldest profession?

Following the road downhill toward the port was the Roman Amphitheater, built into the hillside of Mt. Pion, large enough to seat 25,000 spectators. The marble promenade led straight from the port to the impressive amphitheater showcasing the cities high profile status and growing riches. We walked through a tunnel to enter the arena and sat where bloodthirsty Romans once cheered for the life and death of brave Gladiators. Well maybe not life or death chants, but that's how they portrayed it on Spartacus. Leaving the girls down below I had to climb to the top of the seats for a spectacular view of the city and what would have been the port.

Basilica of John the Apostle

After several hours of touring the ancient rubble of Ephesus we found ourselves at the exit ready for the rubble known as the Basilica of St. John, only a short drive down the road. Built on what was believed to be the burial site of John the Apostle on the slopes of Ayasoluk Hill. Very odd people just built buildings on top of grave sites. I can just imagine the anti this or anti that groups protesting against such an atrocity today. Not that we don't build on former gravesites for personal gains. Hell, we move whole cemeteries in the name of progress. All that remanded of the church today was a few columns and floor coverings. The supposed tomb was covered by a large marble cap with a plaque naming St. Johns burial site. He died in Ephesus while still spreading the word of God, known as Christianity. There are no bones in the tomb nor have there ever been any bones in the tomb. It is believed he ascended to heaven upon his death to join the other apostles with Jesus. On top of the hill sets the Grand Fortress also known as Ayasoluk Castle. The view of the city and surrounding lands were great as we walked around the abandoned fort. Unfortunately the wind was really strong and the rain returned forcing us back to the van.

The last historical site for the day was the Temple of Artemis, originally known as one of the seven wonders of the ancient world. To our utter disappointment we arrived at a nearly empty field with one lone column standing to represent the once enormous structure. A depression about the size of a football field gave us the general dimensions and a billboard displayed a diagram of what it may have looked like when built. Our guide didn't even get out of the van for this waste of time destination.

One thing Turkey didn't have was the endless droves of merchandise hustlers found in Egypt. There were a few gift shops but no one harassing us as we explored the tourist attractions. It was very nice to be left alone and able to enjoy our vacation. But as if on que an elderly man approached me asking if I wanted to buy an Authentic Roman coin. I knew it was a fake and said no thank you. As we walked to the van the man followed. I was the last one in the van and the man just kept trying to sell this cheap souvenir for 20 euros. Realizing we didn't have a souvenir from Ephesus I offered him 5 euros. Angrily he stomped his foot and said 10. I laughed and shut the door in this face as he just kept talking. Ela quickly apologized for the man's behavior assuring us that was very uncommon in turkey. We just laughed advising her to never go to Egypt if that kind of behavior bothered her.

Sales Pitch for Lunch

Ela had arranged for us to have a late lunch on a family run farm. A little place nestled in the countryside with orchards and live chickens and silk worms. As we arrived at the quaint farm a nice man led us to a large enclosed gazebo overlooking the orchards. Since it was a private tour it was just the three of us and Ela in a space big enough for 20 people. If felt kind of weird, but that's what we paid for. Most of the food was from the farm which seemed to make it taste better. Probably all in our heads, but it was a delicious three course meal.

This gave us some time to talk to Ela as a person and not a guide. She was a lovely person who had studied several years at a university before getting her license as a tour guide. She seemed to really enjoy her job and was engaged to another tour guide. We kind of took turns asking her questions about Turkey and answering any she had about the States and Canada. I asked about her outlook on Islam. She said most Turkish people had a modern view and focused on what's important in life and not hung-up on traditions. Two big differences from Arabic countries were being married to more than one person at a time was against the law and accepted dress was more western and practical. Samantha asked were the Turkish language originated from and with a confused look on her face Ela said Turkey. We said yes it is Turkish, but some words sound Russian, some sound Arabic and sometimes German. What influenced the sounds and words? Ela repeated it is Turkish this is how we speak. Switching gears I asked if she ever tried pork or wine. Grinning she said while visiting Rome she accidentally ate pork and she liked it. She said it was ok to have the occasional glass of wine, but never too much at one time. Ela was proud to be from Turkey and loved living near Izmir.

After lunch the owner led us to a small touristy looking area for a demonstration on silk harvesting. The cocoon pods were placed in a basin of hot water making them pliable. A woman used a straw brush to snare the then loose ends and placed them in an antique looking machine used to spin the silk into useable threads. Something they real pushed in Turkey was hand woven rugs. It was this moment we realized the whole lunch was an elaborate tourist trap, albeit with good food and atmosphere. We all gave each other the "look" as the owner went into sales mode describing the whole process and the many hours it took to produce a real hand woven rug.

The woman now sat at a weaving station going through the many steps of making a one of a kind rug. It looked very complicated as she used hand shears to cut the pile to the desired length. I found it very interesting to watch, but I had no intentions of buying a rug. How would we get it home? We lived in a villa with tile in every room and I liked the cool feel on my feet in the 100 plus degree temperatures of the desert. We weren't this guy's target consumers, but they still went through the motions none the less.

The owner led us into the showroom full of his finest rugs as two assistants unrolled them and placed them at our feet. He wanted us to touch them and walk on them and appreciate all the hard work involved in making them and we just wanted to get the hell out of there. It occurred to me they should make small souvenir sized samples for travelers, something to hang on a wall or sit on a table. We would've paid 50 euros for a handmade keepsake and they would spend less time producing a saleable item. I call that a win win situation.

After a few awkward minutes we thanked them for their kindness and walked outside where Ela was waiting for us. Ela apologized for the sales pitch but said the farm owner insisted on it as part of the deal for the lunch. Of course he did, tit for tat is the way of the world. It was a long ride back to the airport giving us time to reflect on the day's activities as we gazed out the window enjoying the Turkish countryside. As customary protocol dictates we tipped Ela and the driver before catching our short flight back to Istanbul. I understand the need to tip but only if the person(s) deserve it. I dislike attempts at shaming you into tipping but once you make a human connection with somebody it's hard not to.

I used the term rug to describe what they called a carpet because to me a carpet means wall to wall floor coverings. And it reminded me of Aladdin's flying carpet story, which is weird I know.

After the short flight back to Istanbul we found the same driver from earlier waiting on us. That was such a relief because even though it was part of the tour package the details were never revealed to us, or at least not in English. After another long day of sightseeing we were finally back at our temporary hilltop headquarters. So it was another rainy and cold night in Istanbul and another local restaurant around the corner for us. This one seemed a little upscale and pricey, but the waiter spoke decent English. The food was spot on and the atmosphere regional. Feeling adventurous we decided to try a popular local drink called Raki, liquor usually drank straight down the hatch. The cloudy shots were placed in front of us and we gave it a go. It had a licorice taste that none of us really cared for that reminded me of a root beer. The girls had some Turkish coffee to wash it down and I opted for a hot chocolate, don't judge me.

Istanbul

The next morning we headed toward the Sultan Ahmet Mosque area for some sightseeing. Hopping in a taxi we had no idea where he was taking us after unsuccessfully trying to communicate, but where do tourists want to go. The 400 year old mosque is known worldwide as the Blue Mosque from the blue tiles used in its construction. The forecast was snow mixed with freezing rain, something we hadn't seen or felt in probably two years. And after a few days of wet cold clothes in Istanbul I didn't care if I ever saw it again. Ms. Rosemary and Samantha thought it was pretty and made them homesick for the holidays. My old aching bones had we wishing for summer weather as my knee and elbow were giving me a fit. A car crash in my teens had damaged my knee and a tumble out a little red wagon resulted in a fractured elbow when I was only 6 years old. Kids played rough back then.

Despite the bad weather we were greeted at the Blue Mosque by a very long line and patiently waited our turn to venture inside. A strange man started a conversation with us and our spider senses started tingling. He had a very pleasant demeanor and spouted interesting facts about the history of the mosque, but whatever he was selling we weren't buying. We talked amongst ourselves hoping to discourage any further interaction. Approaching the entrance, plastic bags were provided to place our shoes in before we could enter the mosque. The floor was cold and wet, soaking our socks as we walked through the main door. Once inside the dry plush carpet felt good giving us some comfort from the winter weather.

The Blue Mosque was very large with colorful tiles covering the high ceilings and a large chandler hanging low in the center. While the ceiling had many blue colored tiles half of the ceiling was in fact white. As we walked around, the strange man from earlier started acting like he was our tour guide and did a pretty good job of it. His stories made our visit better with many insights on the past and current history of the mosque. Succumbing to his charms we allowed this stranger to be our guide.

As we exited the Mosque several tourists slipped their shoes back on just before the exit door. An angry security guard barked at them that this was a holy place and shoes were not allowed in the building. Looking at the crowd he angrily said, can you people not read! The look of the tourists faces said I'm sorry please forgive me, but the guard made them take their shoes back off threating to have them arrested. I didn't put my shoes back on until I was clearly past the exit, cold wet feet be damned I wasn't getting arrested in Istanbul.

Safely back outside in the snowy weather we talked to our new companion. I expected he wanted a tip and wondered how much he had in mind. But to my surprise he requested a quick visit to his employers carpet shop. So this guy went out and selected random tourists on the ruse of a would be tour guide just to entice people back to a carpet shop. The carpet business must be tuff in Turkey. We reluctantly agreed to his demand as we followed him down a few side streets away from the crowded touristy areas.

Of course this set off my danger Will Robinson alarm in my head, carefully scoping the area for any signs of trouble. The street looked fine except it was completely deserted which only added to my anxiety. We were led into a small showroom with three other men were apparently waiting on us. I'm sure the look on our faces was anything but happy to be there when the owner introduced himself and offered tea and coffee. A little surprised by his generosity we declined still waiting for some imaginary monster to spring on us at any moment. Next as if from a cheesy movie with the clap of the owners hands the two other gentlemen sprang into action. Each grabbing a rug and rolling them out in front of us as the owner went into the long spill of the handmade process. With a sigh of relief we all took in a big breath of air finally able to relax. Since this wasn't our first rodeo we cut the act short explaining we had no real interest in a rug and hurriedly made our exit. That was a very interesting experience on our first day exploring Istanbul.

Hagia Sophia

Making our way back to the crowded streets and perceived safety in numbers we headed to the Hagia Sophia. A Christian church from 537 A.D. until 1453 A.D. when it was converted to a mosque, built on the site of two previous churches dating back to 360 A.D. With the fall of the Ottoman Empire and rise of the Turkish Republic, Hagia Sophia was converted to a museum in 1935. The Hagia Sophia is located across from the Blue Mosque separated by a large square.

The line for the museum was long and the cold rain made the wait seem to take forever. The never ending line was full of people holding umbrellas who carelessly swayed back and forth nearly taking my eye out several times. Personal space just isn't a concern in this part of the world. Strong gusts of wind didn't help matters causing many cheap umbrellas to collapse before being discarded in the overflowing trash bins. Next time we travel I'm bringing ponchos no matter where we go. I found two while walking to the Hagia Sophia, but they wanted 20 euros for each cheaply made poncho. Back home we would have paid maybe $2 for each. I tried to negotiate, but he knew somebody would pay the piper in this weather.

We finally made our way into the enormous structure and out of the elements after the 40 minute interlude of waiting in line. Walking through the gigantic doors was intimidating enough, but walking into the main hall I thought I heard trumpets and harps played by angels. Well, not really but the visual effect was striking and it amazed me people could build such a monument nearly 1500 years ago. While today's society has far surpassed those ancient building technics we seldom match the lasting beauty and purpose bestowed by our ancestors. The many massive columns stood testament to man's potential and fortitude toward common goals and desires. Some of the columns are thought to have been brought from the mighty Temple of Artemis and others from Egypt. That's without modern roads, eighteen wheelers or trains, just shear manpower and inclination to get things done. That is truly manmade.

The unusually tall two-story building was showing some wear and tear but was under renovation during our visit. The size of the building made it difficult to get decent pictures while avoiding the bulky scaffolding with people pushing through the crowds looking for a decent vantage point. Taking the visibly worn stairs we made our way to the second level. Walking on the cracked and uneven marble floors I hoped the old Church could support the heavy foot traffic. The views from the second level were better in my opinion causing us to linger longer than we should have but I'm thankful we got to see the old medieval church and wander its ancient halls.

Heading back out into the cold we searched nearby places for lunch, finding a quaint two-story gem across the way. It felt good to be inside a heated building with hot coffee and tea again. The tight seated restaurant was very crowded, but decently priced for the quality of food. As we relaxed in the modern comforts with full bellies and renewed vigor we hit the cold streets of Istanbul once again. In my opinion the food in Turkey and Egypt tasted much better than the food back in Abu Dhabi. The blandness probably comes from the harsh living conditions endured by the ancient Emirati people with few places to grow crops or spices.

The Grand Bazaar

The Grand Bazaar is one of the oldest and largest covered markets in the world which made a perfect place to get out of the dreary weather. We walked through the crooked streets hoping to find the market with little guidance other than a cheap brochure map. We liked exploring the lively city and finding hidden gems around each corner, but the lousy weather was damping our moods. After a few wrong turns and a couple circles we found the Grand Bazaar entrance. I think the easiest way would have been to just follow any large group going in that general direction since it's the most visited attraction in all of Istanbul. Of course it was crowded, but not impossible to navigate. Most of the city is hilly and the Bazaar is no exception with around 7.6 acres of covered real estate housing over 3,000 shops. We had no idea which direction to walk so we just walked around aimlessly stopping at anything that caught our eye. Once a world renowned one stop buy all market place now seemed more of a never ending tourist shop.

The main commodities in the early years were textiles, jewelry, carpets, furniture, books, shoes and spices. You can still find those things sold in it today, but probably most with made in P.R.C. (China) labels on them. The 550 year old Grand Bazaar has been destroyed by fire and earthquakes many times in its past only to be rebuilt bigger and better each time.

We all found a few trinkets to take home and lost a few because we couldn't find the same shop again. Lost somewhere in-between 1950 and 2014 as the place was a confusing maze with people no doubt still roaming the covered streets from years ago. We learned if you see something you want just buy it. Another hard thing to find was the toilets. We searched quite a while before stumbling across the ladies room. The look on the girls faces was one of relief and a look I needed very soon. As customary in Europe bathrooms require money before entry, usually .50 cents to 1 euro per person.

I asked the girls to stay in a certain area so I could find them again and off I went looking for a dark corner or back alley to do my business. I only made a few right hand turns before I saw a little symbol of a man used worldwide for toilets. I made a beeline toward this little dirty looking doorway and headed down a narrow tunnel. At this point all I needed was a drain in the floor. I could see a very large man sitting on a stool next to a turnstile gate at the end of the passageway. I had my money in hand ready to toss it at him and leap over the gate when a scene from a bad spy movie slapped me in the face stopping me in my tracks. The small tunnel emptied into a large open room full of half-naked men wearing only towels, if that. In the center of the room was a large fountain and I can only assume it was some kind of Turkish bath hidden away from the hustle and bustle of the Bazaar foot traffic.

I have no idea how long I stood there staring at a bunch of old sweaty naked men as time stood still in my mind. The guy at the gate said something snapping me back to reality. I turned his way as he was repeating what he had said, but I didn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. My mind was trying to process and delete what I had just seen and my body was telling me to get to the toilet pronto or we would be buying some new pants. In my haste to give the money to the gate keeper I dropped the damn coin. It rolled in the direction of the naked old man party and I hoped to god it stopped soon. Not willing to take a chance I leaped forward stepping on the coin before it rolled into "no mans" land. My sudden movement then drew the attention of every man in the room with all eyes now intensely gazing at me. This was not a good feeling, not at all. I quickly tried picking up the coin, but it was suctioned to the wet and slimy floor. I fumbled around on the floor sliding the coin around trying to get a firm grip as one of the strange men bent down and picked the coin up for me. Yeah, he was naked! Add no, gravity is not kind to old people. I thanked this kind gentleman for his assistants and wiped the filthy coin on my shirt before paying the gate man.

It was an odd combination of sweet relief and deep sorrow as I finished my business as quick as possible and got the hell out of there. Still in a haze I found the girls were they said they would be and told them about what I saw leaving out a few pertinent details better saved for a later date. I had read about Turkish baths and spas, suggesting to Ms. Rosemary and Samantha they should try one on our visit, but never pushed the issue after that day.

Having our fill of the Grand Bazaar, and probably scaring me for life, we headed back out on the wild streets of old Istanbul. It was getting dark as the temperature fell near freezing with strong gusts of wind taking our breath away as we walked. Not knowing our current location we looked for a taxi or metro stop, with neither insight. Using the useless brochure map as the wind tore it to pieces caused a little tension between us, but we pushed onward finally hailing a cab. We all jumped in the warm cab and felt instant relief. The cab driver didn't know English but he knew Galata Tower and that is all we needed him to know. Arriving at the Tower Ms. Rosemary paid the cab ride handing over a fifty or so she thought. The driver very quickly handed her back a five saying she made an honest mistake. She apologized and handed over another fifty and all was well. After making the long climb back up to the apartment and changing into some dry clothes she discovered the driver had swindled her out of fifty dollars. She knew how much money she had and remembered having two 50's and now she had none. The crooked cabby had pulled a fast one on her with the old switcharoo. Something I had read about but never experienced before. We chalked it up to a learning experience causing us to be more cautious in the future.

Rain Delayed

The next day we planned on visiting the Topkapi Palace and made it to the ticket line. We waited 30 minutes in the rain and the line never moved. While fat rain drops thumped my head I noticed the entrance line had grown larger as nobody was able to enter the museum and it was thirty minutes past opening time. Deciding to try again later in the day we walked the streets browsing the many shops along the street.

It seemed to me many of the shop owners had really high prices on certain items barely budging in negotiations. We tried several places selling small tapestries and always got the suggested manufacturer sticker price. I asked one guy about a cool looking piece and he quoted me 100 euros more than the sticker! I offered the crook 20 euros and walked out.

Eventually we found ourselves back at the crowded restaurant area near the Hagia Sophia. The smell of food caused our tummies to growl for sustenance as our noses led the way to a Turkish Steakhouse. A little off the beaten path and not super crowded, but served delicious food and wine. We sat and chatted for a while discussing where to go next when two women burst in the door soaked from head to toe. They appeared to be a mother and daughter pair each speaking with thick Western European accents. Several of the waiters pandered to their every notion even turning our heater toward the young daughter so she could dry her hair. She was definitely a looker and she worked that angle for all it was worth. A couple of the waiters forgot about their tables as they focused on the flirty pair. It was very amusing to watch while waiting for a break in the rain as it appeared the experienced duo received complimentary coffee before chatting up a guy for some free smokes. This behavior was a fine example of anti-feminism from a pair of females playing the help me because I have a vagina card. With that said, nobody forced the waiters to help the two women, but a wise man once said _"all men spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina and most men spend the rest of their lives trying to get back in one"._ Nature gave man strength and women power so I guess it balances out in the end. Thankfully the rain soon stopped and once back outside we headed to the Spice Market.

The Spice Bazaar was smaller than the Grand Bazaar with tons of people bustling around haggling each other for the best prices on the many goods sold there. Erected beside the New Mosque in the 1660's it's sometimes referred to as the Egyptian Bazaar. It's hard to comprehend a market in Turkey is older than many countries around the world including Turkey itself. Fact be told several of the markets in modern day Turkey have seen whole civilizations come and go has the show goes on day after day year after year.

The aroma of the different spices and herbs filled the air creating some very interesting combinations. We sampled several Turkish delight flavors with pistachio being my favorite. Samantha found some Turkish Apple Tea similar to some we had in a restaurant several nights earlier. The shop owner sold us some cinnamon claiming it would enhance the apple flavor and it did. The smell of it the reminded us of Christmas time back home. Venturing into a jewelry shop Ms. Rosemary spotted several unique charms for her travel bracelet. The shop owner was well weathered and played the haggle game with ease as Samantha fell in love with the color changing Zultanite gem known as the Sultan Stone. The unique stones are known to change from green to purple depending on the light source.

As we negotiated, the shop owner asked where we were from hoping to coax more money from the supposed rich Westerners. We caught him off guard by saying Abu Dhabi was home for the past couple years. Changing gears he said " _the rich Arabs come to my shop and demand only the best pieces, but only satisfied with ridiculously high prices. If I charge to little they buy from someone else, but if I charge double or triple they happily buy my jewelry". They have too much money and not enough brain._ Seeing a way in for a good price I quickly sided with the owner reminding him we were just employees of the superrich and didn't have a lot of money to spend. I said we are three poor travelers who dreamed of visiting Istanbul to see all the wonderful sites and learn about its long history. He knew what my angle was but played along anyway as I asked what would the Turkish price for the ring be today? He gave us a number and I said not the Arab price the Turkish price. I counteroffered half of what he quoted and said cash today as I reached my hand out holding the money. A sly grin crept on his face as he said no problem my friends. Ms. Rosemary asked for the Turkish price and received a discount as-well before we said farewell to our new found friend.

Exiting the Spice Bazaar we found ourselves at the Yeni Cami, known as the new mosque near the famous waterways of Istanbul. By this time it was raining again with fierce wind battering our bodies as it blew from the sea. Tired and wet we tried getting a taxi, but they seemed to be on break noticing several sat idle on the street in front of us. The first taxi driver just said no for some reason as he just sat in his car reading a newspaper. The second driver said yes for 60 euros. We could almost see our apartment building across the bridge and up the steep hill near the Galata Tower. It was maybe a 5 minute taxi ride, 10 with traffic. I had read about crooked taxi drivers who negotiate price instead of using the meter and this guy was definitely trying to take advantage of us so we declined.

With the Galata Bridge insight I urged the girls we should walk across it and look for a taxi on the other side. My main reason was to visit the famous bridge and take a few photos. Reluctantly they agreed as we made our way across the Golden Horn of Istanbul. The original plan was to take a boat ride along the Golden Horn up the Bosphorus strait into the Black Sea, but the terrible weather made that impossible. The Golden Horn waterway separates the historical center of Istanbul from the newer part of the city and the Bosphorus strait separates Asia from Europe giving Istanbul coordinates in both continents. The Galata Bridge had two levels with a roadway on top and restaurants and shops on the covered bottom. Regretfully, it was the closest I would get to being on the water for that trip. We made our way through the touristy shops filled with many everyday items from clothes and shoes to cell phones and curling irons.

The many restaurants lined the bridge on both sides offering outdoor seating for better weather days. The strong fish smell was overpowering, but we decided to stop for a drink and finalize the night's festivities. The specialty of the restaurant was of course fish and more fish with a side of fish sauce. As we sat there enjoying a glass of bubbly a table next us received their food. The smell got there before the food did and of course it was fish. A large platter was rolled out on a cart with all the trimmings. The very large fish covered the entire platter with the tail hanging over the edge and the head and eyeballs still attached. I thought Samantha was going to lose it when the diner stuck his fork into a juicy eyeball and popped it into his mouth. I thought I might lose it when he bit down and sucked the juices making a slurping sound. The man's companion, presumably his wife, did the same thing to the other eyeball as we motioned for the check. I'm sure that's perfectly normal in many places around the world, but where we're from the fish head is discarded before being served and nobody sucks on the damn eyeballs. It was an Andrew Zimmern moment for sure. Really I found it amusing and a highlight of the day's events although I'm not sure how the girls felt about it.

Heading up to the top level we couldn't believe people were fishing in the cold and rainy weather. Many dressed in commercial sea boat rain suits and hats while others sported plastic bags on their heads and feet in an attempt to stay warm and dry. I thought the best course of action would have been to stay at home since it was New Year's Eve, but to each their own. We walked to the end of the bridge and waited for a taxi to drive by. And we waited and we waited as it got darker and darker. Where in the hell were all the taxis? We didn't know, but they weren't where they needed to be. The apartment wasn't far, but it was uphill all the way in bad weather and now dark outside. I didn't relish the idea of walking up the steep hillside only to climb 6 stories to our apartment, but what real choice did we have. Samantha starts echoing my exact thoughts in a loud vocal way of disapproval when I suggested we walk back to the apartment. I felt her pain and dreaded the climb, but it wasn't going to kill us. I just wanted to shower and change clothes so we could relax before heading back out for New Years. So off we went, marching up the hill stopping a few times for a breather before arriving at our building. It had taken a little longer than I'd anticipated but we made it. Planning ahead we withdrew some cash at a nearby ATM before slowly making our way up the terrible stairwell from hell.

Taksim Square

The plan was to take a taxi to Taksim Square and celebrate the New Year in a crowd of strangers as they tried to pick our pockets. That's what several posts online warned anyway. I didn't think it could be any worse than Rome, so that's what we did. After a glass of wine to get things started we headed downstairs and found a taxi waiting nearby, what luck! Better yet the older gentleman even spoke some English! His joyful demeanor was disarming and our jovial mood may have caused us to let our guard down just a bit when he offered a set rate of 30 euro instead of the meter. We didn't know how far Taksim Square was from our location, but 30 euros sounded fair compared to the guy earlier wanting 60 euros. We all jumped in and off we went, down back alley streets crisscrossing the main highways to avoid the crowds. The driver spoke the whole time barely looking at the road as we drove wide open down the narrow streets honking his horn if someone got in his way. I was glad to finally get where we were going! The driver was laughing and cutting up with us and wished us a safe and Happy New Year. I handed him a 100 euro banknote as he fumbled for the correct change. He handed me 2 tens and started looking through his coins. He said he had already deposited his money into the bank so a robber couldn't steal his hard earned money. The sly devil then asked if I had a smaller banknote, so I handed him a 50. He said thank you sir it was nice meeting you. In the heat of the moment I got out of the cab as he drove off with the 50 and the original 100 euros. That 30 euro ride turned into 130 real quick. I don't know if that was intentional or an innocent mistake, but I let it happen right in front of me. I might have taken 5 steps before it hit me, but the taxi was nowhere in sight.

I was not a happy camper at this point and the festive mood went to hell in a hand basket real quick. That was twice taxi drivers swindled money from us, after being warned about the very scam! Trying to shake it off and just let it go was easier said than done for my stubborn personality. We walked around a few minutes scoping out the square for the first time. The rain had picked up and the crowds huddled in the narrow side streets away from the open square, a prime location for pickpockets if I ever saw one. It was past time for dinner as we eyed some nearby street food. As silly as it sounds the smell and sight of roasted chestnuts brought a smile to my face. I had never tried roasted chestnuts on an open fire and there they were, just daring me to taste one. The Christmas song immediately popped into my head as the vendor stoked the fire underneath the nuts. It was real chestnuts roasting over an open fire in Istanbul on New Year's Eve. How cool was that!

Feeling better about the earlier mishap we ventured into the crowds soaking up the city vibe looking for a watering hole so we could get out of the rain. Many of the restaurants had steep admission covers and inflated prices for the eager crowds. We had planned on walking around and people watching, but the weather had other plans. Following the locals cue we ate at a fast food joint with standing room only, but at least it was dry. This gave us some time to notice a band of young men standing along a dark lit wall just across from us. They were all intensely watching the crowd and whispering to one another giving the impression of ill intent. Most other people in the crowd were happily festive with some very festive and probably very inebriated by this time of night. We stood there wondering what the best course of action would be to salvage the night hoping for some kind of inspiration or sign. Should we try a different location or head back to the apartment? About this time the bottom fell out of the sky signaling us it was time to leave.

Our grand night out in Istanbul had been an utter disaster for all intents and purposes. Mother Nature had been a bitch the whole time we were in Turkey and showed no signs of letting up. We looked at each other in agreement as we headed across the square to what looked like a row of taxis. Our clothes were soaked through by the time we got there and hopped into the first one in line. The driver was a young man in his early twenties with a thick accent, but understandable English phrases. He was surprised we wanted to leave before midnight and seemed reluctant to give us service. I explained the weather was the cause and my wife was feeling sick. Does a little white lie really hurt anybody? Samantha could've been feeling bad; we just ate some questionable fast food and chestnuts from a complete stranger. Don't judge me. The nice young man agreed as he started the illusive taxi meter not seen until that moment. He asked where we were from and I said U.S.A. and Canada but we all live in the U.A.E. now. His eyes lit up and said he wanted to go to America one day because America is number one. I just said if you say so buddy.

This is when he pulled out his cell phone so he could show us his racecar videos on YouTube. As he did this his eyes left the road and I became concerned for our wellbeing. In his excitement and hyper youth, his foot became ever increasingly heavy on the accelerator as he attempted to showcase his driving skills in the most realistic way possible. He handed me the phone now playing a homemade video of someone driving a racecar on some road course who knows where. Now with his hands free he put the pedal to the metal and we broke several traffic laws speeded through the wet streets of Istanbul. This reminded me of my youth and the many times we had street raced around various small towns and lonely country straight stretches. My favorite pastime was flying down old dirt roads fast enough to slide the car around turns while spinning gravel in to the ditches while still maintaining control. Something we learned from watching the Dukes of Hazard. I understood how this young man felt, but I didn't want us to end up a traffic statistic either. Handing him his phone back I asked if we could watch it again but I accidently closed the page. He eagerly fumbled with his phone now slowing down to a normal pace for a young man. Luckily by this time we were near our destination and the unforeseen white knuckle ride was over. The fare was only 20 euros with a free adrenaline ride and video on the way. It was a much needed shot in the arm for us and made us thankful to just be alive.

We grabbed a couple of adult beverages and climbed the many stairs to the apartment one last time. Samantha found a channel on TV with a New Year's countdown and I played music from my phone. It wasn't a grand event but it was an event of our choosing. As midnight chimed fireworks could be seen from the apartment balconies and we three amigos brought in the New Year with a toast of good cheer. We all sent text and video messages to family and friends around the world wishing them Happy New Year and wishing they could be near. The girls soon retired to bed but I lingered for just a bit remembering past year's celebrations. I can say some were fantastic while others easily forgotten filled with memorizes of people now gone and others who moved on, but missing those who cling to us still.

The next morning we waited on our host Nadia to check us out of the apartment making sure we didn't break or steal anything. We thanked her for the hospitality and headed down the stairwell one last time. Of course the clouds were gone and the pavement dry as we waited for our driver to arrive, one last Turkish coffee for them and a delicious hot chocolate for me. It had been a whirlwind of a vacation with much to process and reflect on after we returned home. Turkey was not as I expected. The country divides two continents, but seems to have bridged the gap with a cohesive blending of old and new traditions found in different aspects of daily life. The weather was awful, but the trip was great giving me a new outlook on the history of the country and people now living in Turkey.

# Chapter 10

# Remembering the Past and Looking to the Future

It wasn't until after we left Egypt and I started writing this book that I stumbled across a disturbing article on the Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The very same place we had visited and walked around without a care in the world. Casually taking photos and enjoying a beautiful day in the Egypt sun. But in 1997 a small Islamic Terror Group attacked the remote site killing 70 people and wounding 25 others before being gun downed themselves by the Police. The six gunmen first shot and killed the security guards before randomly shooting tourists as they ran for cover. The survivors told the grizzly tell of men and women being shot point blank in the face and chest before being finished with knives if needed. Having been there and knowing the layout sent chills down my spine as it's a perfect site for an ambush with flat open ground in the center surrounded by tall rocky cliffs in the back. We had no idea the ancient Egyptian tomb had such a morbid past nor did any guide feel obligated to tell us about it. There are dangers and horrors in every country of this old world as well as beauty and human marvels. The modern traveler rarely thinks of possible dangers when booking a flight or hotel online, focused more on vacation days and budget restraints. Many of us love to travel and meet new people and experience unfamiliar surroundings, but keep in mind everybody's not a friend.

Two years living in the United Arab Emirates has given us new perspective on our careers and life styles. It hasn't been a life changing event as much as eliminating things from our must have list. Some of our new views didn't come from living abroad as much as being away from certain situations back home. Everybody can get caught-up living in a life bubble, protected from the struggles of others. Westerners and especially Americans seem so self-absorbed with non-essential problems and can come off as insensitive to people from countries less fortunate. There is a great disconnect between different cultures with each thinking the other ignorant or incapable. Many foreigners believe America is weak and full of overweight idiots out of touch with reality, so it was very refreshing to find a few who still naively think USA is number one. I can confidently say many countries have less desirable citizens not on par with the vast majorities and many of these people live abroad. Being around people from other countries has given us new found confidence in ourselves and insight on global issues affecting the world.

Living in an international city will change how you talk to strangers, well in our experience anyway. The first thing most expats ask is what country you are from. Followed by what do you do and how long have you lived here. To most people it's like saying hello. If things sound interesting the next few questions may be which building do you live-in and is your employer hiring. The conversation is usually centered around ones background and how many countries have been explored because it's fun to compare adventures and get new ideas of places to see. Travel is like a drug for many and the main reason for moving to the UAE.

Since most jobs include housing, healthcare insurance and tax free salaries and purchases, most expats live in a nice carefree bubble away from the normal worries. The once familiar conversations dominated with home remodels and yardwork tips were replaced with Friday brunch times and weekend getaways to nearby countries. The transition back to "normal" life will be a difficult one but necessary to move forward.

We have enjoyed our time in the Middle East and traveling around to other countries. The idea it is quickly coming to an end gives us pause to reflect on what we have experienced and plan for the future. Moving back to the U.S.A. has a good feel to it, but finding a new home in our old world seems daunting. The idea of going back to the same place we fled seems irrational only entering our minds from the heartfelt memories of family and friends. Truly planning for a better future should include living in a prosperous city and not a declining town with a bleak outlook. The U.S. is very large with countless options to start a new life or more accurately a reset. I dislike the cold weather and Samantha battles with the heat. Finding a location in the middle seems to be pointing us back toward familiar roads and accents, but nothing is set in stone. We still have one more year, before our last flight from Abu Dhabi to America. As a way to say goodbye we will take a 35 day tour of Europe by train, one last hooray before ending this chapter of our lives.

People Are Just People

It seems no matter where you travel people are basically the same. We may dress differently or speak different languages, but the human core is still very much the same. You will find nice people, mean people, smart people, dumb people, and many more subdivided categories in-between. I didn't know what to expect when we arrived in the U.A.E., but imagined not only our surroundings would be different but the people would be too. I have found a common ground we as human beings seem to possess that allows us to interact with one another even when language and culture are most foreign to the other. The eyes are very useful when conveying ones intentions and may be better than a polygraph or lie detector test. Combining hand gestures with voice tones will create a powerful manner in which to communicate with almost anyone. Back home in our neck of the woods you would usually find Spanish speaking people or Hmong speaking people, but not many of either. You could usually find someone nearby to translate such as a child or someone with more exposer to English. Here not so much. People speak Arabic, Hindi, Bengali, Persian (Farsi), Thai, English, and many others. There is little need or desire to learn English by most grown-ups as most residents speak Arabic. The U.A.E. has specific criteria for employment which has grouped certain nationalities in similar positions throughout the country. This has created sub-cultures in themselves as we all tend to gravitate toward the path of least resistance so grouping with others that speak your language is human nature. We tend to gravitate toward other expats that speak English, no matter what country they're from. One thing that holds true no matter what language we speak is show someone kindness and expect the same in return, but show ill-will and expect twice in return.

The people in the UAE, expats and nationals alike, act very similar to people in the USA; for the most part self-absorbed and unaffected by anything not directly affecting them. The younger adults dress more fashionable than the older folks and the kids love candy, flashing lights and crazy sounds. The older folks drive slow and fuss more when things don't go their way and the younger adults drive too fast and tend to be impatient when waiting is necessary. The kids laugh and play and get into all kinds of mischief. It's not uncommon for children under ten to roam the streets and malls unattended by adults. Reminds me of my childhood when parents felt safe enough to let their children play outside with little concern of some child molester snatching the kids. The Mosques are the community hubs similar to churches but cater mostly to men. Weddings are very important events bringing family and friends together to celebrate life and plan for the future. Expats are welcomed albeit some more than others. People with lots of money hold more respect than those with less and the good old boy system is common place.

I doubt everybody will just get along one day as it goes against our very nature. We can strive to tolerate and respect each other in a civilized manner to promote harmony and peace for the benefit of future generations. But each group is steadfast with different belief systems and values hell bent on passing those notions on to the next generation and the next and so on. We should live life one day at a time doing the best we can learning from the past while looking toward the future.

Thanks for reading my book. If you enjoyed it, a review is a great way to show it!
Copyright 2016 by Rick Jolly

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