-I have a card here that says
three things on it.
And one of them may be true
and none of them may be true,
do you mind if I read these
things.
-Are they things that I said?
-Yes.
You said these three things.
None of them may be true,
but I think I know one of them
must be true.
-This doesn't seem real.
-No, it's real.
-Okay. Let's see.
-You can't set him up for that.
-Okay well, you've watched the
movie "Step Brothers"
more than any other film.
Okay? That's number one.
-You want me to sa--
-No, no, that's number one.
-Am I just listening?
-Yes.
[ Laughter ]
-This is a listening show.
[ Laughs ]
Like, guests, come on
and listen to me talk.
-I feel like I'm being
hypnotized again.
-Welcome back to an all
new boring "Tonight Show."
Alright. Number two --
You love reality TV
and think reality TV stars are
the best actors in the world.
[ Laughter ]
Number three,
one of your nicknames is kitten.
[ Laughter ]
All right, let me take a guess.
I'm gonna circle my answer,
then I'm going to
ask the audience,
then I'm going to ask you
what your thing is.
[ Mutters ] That, nah, you
wouldn't do that.
That? Maybe, possibly, nah.
I'd say oh, you said that.
But you were being funny.
This is how, this is the game I
play with a you.
With a you.
Uh. Uh.
I'm going to say that one.
Audience, is it one?
-Nobody remembers what it was.
[ Laughter ]
-It was only 30 seconds ago,
what are you talking about?
What do you mean,
what number one?
-Can one person remember what
the first answer was?
-Alright look --
-"Step Brothers."
-"Step Brothers."
You've seen "Step Brothers" more
than any other film?
-You guys listen to him?
-Yeah.
-I've never -- Listen.
You've seen "Step Brothers" more
than any other film?
-Yeah, okay.
-Number two, you love reality TV
and think reality TV stars are
the best actors in the world.
Anyone on that one?
[ Cheering ]
-Number three, one of your
nicknames is kitten.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-So what does that mean?
-I circled number three.
One of your nicknames is kitten.
I think I believe that
to be true --
-Now, what are you saying that
it's true
or that I said these things.
-I think that's true.
-But I didn't say it?
[ Laughter ]
-The more I think about this, I
mean I didn't --
my segment producer set this
up for me.
The more I think about it,
I don't know
if any of these are true.
But I call you Joaq.
-Why?
Well, your name's Joaquin I feel
like that's too long for me.
-You can handle it.
I feel like you can handle it.
-I save a little energy
-You do the Monologue
every night.
-Yeah, but I save
a little energy by calling you
Joaq, don't have to do the quin.
-Okay.
-You know?
-That's a good part.
-Hello, Joaq.
-Oh, okay.
-You know? And I like guacs.
I like guacs. You know?
I like guac.
Hey, guac is extra.
That should be the --
That should've been the headline
of "Vanity Fair" --
the guac is extra.
-Yeah, good.
-Alright. I don't know if any of
these are real or true or not.
But, do you know if any of these
are true?
-Um, what do you mean true?
That's what I'm trying to
understand.
You say did I say these things
or are they true or both?
What is the question?
-The question is,
are any of these true?
-Okay.
Okay, I think that I said --
-No, it's not about you said.
See you're really good.
You're honor, you're honor.
He's under oath.
-Okay, they're not all true.
-We make you put your hand on a
Bible before you come out here.
-They're not all true.
-They're not all true, yeah.
But one might be true.
[ Laughter ]
And is the one
that might be true,
the one
that we all think is true.
Is one of your nicknames kitten?
[ Laughter ]
-You're feeling very sleepy.
-[ Laughing ] Oh, my gaw!
That's ridiculous.
-Yeah.
-I don't --
the two of them were --
I was just joking around.
-Yeah, I don't "Step brothers,"
I assume you love that movie.
You didn't see it more times
than any other film, though,
it's impossible.
-I have.
-You really have?
-Yeah.
-That's the one?
-Yeah, it's true.
-That's the one?
-Yeah.
That's good, I like --
I love hearing that.
We got a little fact from
Joaquin, who knows if it's real.
But that's cool.
[ Laughter ]
I've seen
"Peewee's Big Adventure"
more than any other film.
-Yeah, that's a great one.
-Yeah it's a classic.
Let's talk about,
speaking of classics,
let's talk "Joker." Man, oh,
man, you're awesome in this.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-I haven't.
-You haven't even seen it yet?
-Yeah.
That's what I was gonna say.
-People are excited about it.
-Uh-huh.
-You're fantastic in
it, it's all you, man.
You're driving this train, car?
What vehicle do you
think this movie is.
What type of --
form of transportation.
-[ Laughs ] I'm not sure.
-I'm sorry.
so look, so wait, no, I'm sorry.
So you didn't, since you're in
the movie. But it really is you.
And then I see you go a little
mad in some scenes.
I feel like you've gone nuts in
this thing.
You don't pick these roles where
it's like --
why don't you just pick a role
where you just go to Hawaii
and you're on the beach and
you're goofing off
with your buddies?
-It's like every actor's dream
part, that's the thing.
-Yeah.
-You make it,
and then you do the movie.
-You go to Hawaii
and goof off with your buddies
for two hours.
-You'd be bored.
-You would be bored?
[Bleep] you need to do the laugh
and the whole thing
and you're coughing,
don't you think?
-You don't need to do all that.
-You did it,
and then you did dance.
-Let me see the dance. That was
adorable. Show that to me.
Aw!
-Dude, you're really,
it's insane.
You're fantastic in it.
Basically,
to set it up is you are --
it-it-it's there is no, there
are no superheroes in this film?
It's just kind of a making of a
villain
that's what I would --
if I was a film critic.
It's not that great.
Is it off a little bit?
-I mean,
you're great in general.
But that wasn't the best.
-It wasn't the best thing?
No, it's about how you can beat
a human being down.
-But don't tell anyone, it's
okay let them just see it.
-Just see the movie?
-Or not.
-Or not. You know what the
movie's about, kind of, right?
Yeah. So you don't need me.
You don't need me.
[ Talking over each other ]
-It's cool.
-No, come back, come back.
Come on, man.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Come back!
Don't do that.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-All right, welcome back.
we got a great guest tonight,
Jimmy Fallon.
[ Cheers and applause ]
All right, welcome back.
Alright. Sit right here
Come on in.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-It is, um.
It's so funny.
-I'm reading your text messages
of somebody saying heavy.
-Well, I have to lose
a little weight.
I'm a little heavy, yeah.
But I got it figured out.
You lost weight for this film.
-Uh-huh.
-And I read somewhere you
said you lost 50 pounds?
-No, 15. Wait did you say 50?
-Oh, who cares.
-Five-oh?
-Yeah, five-oh.
-No, one-five. 15.
-Oh, 15?
-They didn't pay me that much.
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah, Well I'm just happy to be
here and talk about the film,
"Joker," it was great to get in
there and, like, really --
[ Chatter ]
Yeah, yeah, don't worry about
it, we'll cut it out Later.
-Don't tell, don't tell them.
I didn't know
the microphone was on.
-[ Clears throat ] Getting in
there, Todd, I call him T.P.
Todd Phillips. I call him T.P.
And he was kind of cool,
because he was like a teepee
to me a little bit, like,
he was my home for a long time.
I basically felt like I lived
inside of him,
when I was playing Joker.
And I'd come out of the teepee.
I was like, "Time to film."
[ Laughter ]
I go, all right,
"What's for breakfast, daddy?"
[ Laughter ]
-And he would get,
"What's for breakfast
is this scene right here,
get into it.
And eat it all up."
And I did.
I think what you'll see here in
this clip is me
taking the script and making it
the best I can make it.
And thanks to T.P.'s work and
everybody involved in editing,
and the soundtrack
and everything.
It turned out pretty well and
I hope you enjoy it.
