okay dear flat
earth round globe um
when i was in jail and so
since the first time till now which is
one day
and 19 days i don't have enough fingers
on both hands i just wanted to say that
um it's like somebody was on youtube or
somewhere coercing it's like why don't
you talk about your
jail experience so i guess they were
like pissed off because i was talking
about
my past history of my family and my
childhood and things like that
and so it's like they wanted to divert
the truth is when i was in jail i i
saw a place that looked like it was a
homeless shelter
for sexually abused women sexually
abused
low income and knowing income women
that's what it looked like and i was
there for a reason too
i know why i was there
you know so i mean most women
are uh well they said most women
who have had anything to do with the
military have been sexually abused
at some point so
uh yeah i mean so
if that's what you want to hear
then you know things aren't much
different
from when i was 18.
i mean it's not my fault when i want to
speak about my truth and how things
are and of course it's an excuse when
someone says well this is all we knew at
the time
i you know i get that it makes sense but
it's like well why
why did people have kids why did they
bother having kids
if they weren't going to help them the
best they could i i did the best that i
could with mine and
i had actually when i was moving i
invited my daughter to
come along it's probably at least she
has a job now
i don't nothing i ever did counted as a
job
even what i did on youtube doesn't count
as a job and
um and those involved with this bullshit
here in georgia want to just erase
the past erase um
well they modify things you know it's
like well we'll modify
well let's put it this way it's like
when they talked about the president and
his tax returns
how he likes to inflate things
he inflates things under some
circumstances related
well related to ego then other
circumstances like
then he'll deflate things he'll deflate
his
things so um we wouldn't be
visiting this in our economy and have
the president we have right now if this
wasn't a really big problem
that's how i view it if it wasn't a
really big problem
we wouldn't be having the exact
president we have right now which is why
we have him
and um
i actually don't you know it's like
you know the big the biggest problem is
the sentiment
of the country and if this country's ran
in an autonomous sense and it's the
american people who have been
who are government and they're doing the
bad practices
they're the ones creating the problems i
have voiced this
for several years
myself and i'm sure other people have
too i just don't have the
means to collect the data i'm sure i can
find some of it
maybe a few youtube videos will filter
up towards me
of other people voicing the same bad
practices because more and more people
are speaking out now
about historically
bad practices in our society of
exclusion
and it's not just a specific
person um women
you know it's like if you think about
back in the 60s
women didn't have rights back then i
mean what good is voting
what what good is voting
when you have all men in
in uh political seats
what good is voting then your vote is
still cancelled out
when you have men making decisions for
you that's what that is and so
um so if people want to think that
you know and say well why don't you talk
about that all the time
well this is the truth what what i saw
was
faces who appeared to be
some of them appeared to look like
relatives some appeared to look like
friends
acquaintances from the past
and all women who have probably had some
type of emotional abuse
and physical abuse at some point in
their life
sexual abuse that's what i saw in jail
while i was in jail so
um
yeah that's that's what you know it's
like
i didn't have any all i have right now
is my memory
i've been right yeah that's all i have
right now is my memory because i really
didn't have anything to write on
until i found a pen on the floor and
then i found little bits of paper and
then i started
using thinking outside my box my brain
and i could write on toilet paper
so i did and so um
yeah you know it's like and then there's
a point that i noticed well wait a
minute why are these guards
you know they're like favoring they're
favoring
certain people here and that's what we
had was favoritism
favoritism and it was just so odd
to see a favor
a minority favoritism taking place
and so then then we visit the white
shaming you know the ethnicity shaming
so the marginalization of races is not
coming out of white america it's
actually coming out of
of uh the sports indoctrination who's
doing it you know which is related to if
you look at
and you visit apartheid why do you want
to bring apartheid to america
why do you want to bring um apartheid
amer
the american forces did participate in
trying to help free
a nation why do you want to bring it
here
i don't want it here and that was the
same premise as
nazi germany too but the truth is let me
say this the truth is
jews are not
um they fall under the first amendment
their religion you can't prove who's
jewish and you can't prove who's black
let's put it that way
um i thought we were americans so while
i was in jail
i thought we were americans well they i
like the word native indians too
because everybody asks where's the
native indians where's the indigenous
it's like well aren't we here right here
i thought
we were here but but some people have
gotten really really carried away with
um media stuff and
um which is that what do they call it
that celebrity boost
you know it's like so they idolize their
now they're idolized
and worshipping celebrities i mean
technically
a daytime talk show host lady was our
first
woman president when you think about it
when you can just
uh say oh i want this guy this
he's one of my favorite things and we're
gonna elect him
president um you know it would have been
much more meaningful to have a woman
for women's rights it's like okay so how
come you couldn't be for women
american women so if you can't be for
american women
then maybe you shouldn't be living in
this country maybe you should go live in
in in the other country and i know you
brought that up because your
boyfriend who lives in the doghouse told
you to go live
in someplace else if you ever wanted to
go there
um you know so i mean i know it's a
choice of words and
um it's being sponsored
somebody's sponsoring it but i
technically i thought we were americans
and it's like there are there are
activism groups
who are not for everyone in america
there just are
and so um
we do have shaming
my whole life of of white folks it's
like
oh well don't say that because you might
hurt their feelings well that becomes
censorship
and taught self-censorship and if things
make someone feel uncomfortable maybe
there's a reason why
that's what i've thought if if someone
says something and you feel
uncomfortable why why do you feel
uncomfortable with what they said
i mean i know that i mean this is going
to sound really stupid now but
when i was young when i was really young
i felt kind of uncomfortable with some
of the clothes that my ex-husband would
wear but eventually i got used to it
i mean his jeans were greasy he'd wear
holy pants
and then i and then it was kind of like
well that's just how guys are then i
realized once i got married it's like
okay we have no money and we can't
afford to buy pants
and he was fine wearing the same pants
that were greasy
well more than actually he was fine
wearing them all week
i mean he fit right in the army perfect
with this wearing the same uniform every
day because
he would have the blue jeans and then he
would just put the same blue jeans on
when he was working at the dekalb farm
and just
go back out in the field and use them
again and it
worked out because i didn't have to wash
as many clothes
and you know he was also lucky to he
stayed the same size and
where i was gaining weight and so i'd
get oh my gosh i'd have to find
stretch pants to wear because i couldn't
afford to buy pant clothes anymore
um you know and that's just one of those
things it's
next impossible to um
uh fine clothes that fit
um and oh my gosh and you know but i
also had
the other thing i think about too is
like now when i look back at my younger
self
i always realize it's like i was so
pretty
and i was so thin and i was
and even even as an older adult i was
thinner at one point but then i also
think too when i'm a child
i am seeing adults that i'm calling
fat um
i'm just picking that up from the people
who are around me but
i'm probably on television too but i'm
calling them
fat because i'm a child and so i thought
that often with my son
when he would say those words you know
it's like i it's like he's just seeing
it through
his eyes because he's a small child and
every small
child is going to see every adult as fat
and
and they have a big butt you know so
it's like
um i wasn't you know it's like i was
kind of in between it's like you'd hear
it's like you hear that old voice of oh
don't say that that's not
nice but at the same time you've heard
the person who says oh don't say that
you've heard them say it before.
and it's like well okay so you're
talking about both sides of your mouth
and you're being a hypocrite
that's what's taking place here anyway
you're talking about both sides of your
mouth and you're being a hypocrite so
i mean the truth is we all do it and i
was actually watching onision i
i i like onision i always have
um and i was just trying to figure out
some of the things that he does and how
he got so
popular
