[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright Iíll be honest, this weeks video
selection is only like mediocre funny, (like
me, Like Me) but thatís ok because you guys
only watch these videos cause you wanna f(beep)k
me! That is the reason why you watch these
videos? Right? Nah! Come on! I KId! That would
never happen! Cause you guys are ugly (4,000,000
butter faces) look at yourself. Anyway, thereís
this Manatee, here, right. You know what,
that video is f(beep)in stupid! Letís just
move on!
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright! Huh, you actually wanna see that
video!? Alright. Back it up, back it up. (reverse
sound)
[noitisnarT looC]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Anywhore, the up-loader of this manatee video
added like the perfect sound effect. And itís
like so dumb, itís funny.
[Honking Manatee - Clip]
(Manatee hits the glass window and honk sounds)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Thatís so stupid, but yet, Iím still laughing.
And that video got 200,000 views in 7 months.
You know whatís weird? That manatee happens
to look like my x-girlfriend. (except this
oneís a lot easier to get wet) All fat with
a puffy face! Oh what? Just cause Iím a little
guy, I canít be with a big girl. Well f(beep)k
you! [Honk] Iíll do what I want! Iíll f(beep)k
a fat girl (who else would let me penetrate?)
I guess we should get back to the video. (Or
is it whom else?) So ya, the honking sound
effect, is perfect, I want that sound effect
in real life, I wanna hear it, every time
a fat guy falls down, or every time I grab
a womenís breasts. You guys know that manateeís
are actually endangered right? (The depleting
Manatee population is no joke) No, sh(beep)t
they never reproduce, I mean, look at that,
would you f(beep)k that thing? Cause I ñ
Iíve had (like when I m@sturb@te) worse actually.
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now, this video did fairly well this week,
getting 100,000 views on a site called VIMEO.
Have you guys ever used VIMEO? Itís like
a video sharing website for hipsters, but
you guys have probably never heard of it.
Itís funny god damn it, believe it or not,
video on websites off of Youtube donít generally
do that well, thatís why this is a big deal.
So, this video is pretty cool, itís called:
ìFastest Shave Everî.
[Fastest Shave Ever - Clip]
(bearded guy sneezes and is clean shaven)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
FAKE! Itís so f(beep)kin Photoshoped, you
can tell by some of the pixels on the side
and Iíve seen enough Photoshop work to know
(just look at my thumbnails) f(beep)kin fake
and f(beep)in photoshoped. No! Seriously,
that was awesome, man! But you canít take
away razors, how will Emo kids cut themselves?
(with thei sharp glasses?) NO! That was cool!
The dude went from looking like Jesus to looking
like Bam Margera in point, 2 (5) seconds.
[inaudible (holding a thumb)] Damn that must
of been one hell of a sneeze! SNEEZUS! You
would think thatís crazy! You should see
how he shaves his C beard, you know his, ball
bush, his, (dirty cur-lies) coin purse. (power
patch) Well, ya, honestly, to the creator
its a great video, itís entertaining, itís
creative, guys itís funny he sneezed like
that, I donít know if you can tell by my
voice but Iím actually getting a similar
cold (sneezes and shirt comes off) Oh, what
the f(beep)k. You know, I would make a joke,
that if I sneeze again, my pants would come
off. (I mean my skirt) But I donít know if
you guys know (I have no recognizable gen@t@li@)
I donít wear pants when I film =3
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Alright, so this was, this was blowing up
a little bit, this dude, here, ya, right here.
Ya, did you get that in case you missed him?
Heís right f(beep)in here! And all this man
wants to do is, is perform a little move from
Dragon Ball Z called the: ìkamehemehaî (kameh
who gives a s******t) I think! Canít the
mother(beep)kers leave him alone so he can
perform his move, is that too much to ask!
[Brothers Fighting - Clip]
ka me (door opens) heme ha (door opens) (door
opens) (door opens) (door opens) You f(beep)in
____!
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
In case you didnít know the ìkamehemehaî
Dragon Ball Z move, if you use this move in
real life, (you are more powerful than sneezus)
its deadly! It also suggests that you will
be a virgin for a really long time (until
you visit Amsterdam) So this dudes brother
eventually gets into the room. And he. I donít
know(Brotherly love) dry humps him, I donít
know!
[Brothers Fighting - Clip]
(door opens) (brother tackles big dude) You
f(beep)in b^tch)!~
(Typical ìkamehemehaî injury)
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Dude why are you trying to tackle your brother
when heís trying to do that powerful move.
That move defends him from people who are
making fun of his awesome Tie-dyed sleeveless
shirt. So when I first saw this video, I was
like, WhAAAAA! WHATTTT! This is the way g@y
p)&n movies start out! Iíll just do it like,
(no! this is how they start!) in a couple
of positions! Iíll get a picture for you
or something! Any butt n@ked man! I mean,
not that I ñ - NO! How g@y p)&n should ñ
Shut UP! You know what? Ask your f(beep)in
dad! Source: LYBIO.net (who is your daddy
and what does he do?) He knows about g@y p)&n!
NO~ Something funny, I noticed about this
video it looks like that brother is butt @ss
n@ked! Then there is this annotation that
says they (Jeff has shorts on he is not n@ked
so stop it) he isnít! Cause you know, in
my experience Youtube annotations are always
100% (ray humps a lot of women!!!) true and
accurate. But ya, I feel for the dude, you
know. Cause butt n@ked guys are always trying
to tackle me when I try to do my karate moves
and (video edit ray is tackled) that wasnít
homoerotic (everything I do is homoerotic)
at all. But you know what never lets a butt
@ss n@ked man tackle him is the comment question
of the day which comes from a user named bam
TheBlazerSam and he said:
[TheBlazerSam]
My comment question of the day is: If you
had god like power and you can like end the
world suddenly, how would you end it?
[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
So how would you destroy the world?
[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses
in the comment section below, or on Facebook
Twitter or Google Plus
[Cool Transition]
[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayís episode of
Equals Three, Iím Ray William Johnson, and
I approve this message. So tell me guys, if
you could plank anywhere in the world, where
would you plank?
[Outer]
(The outer Your Favorite Martian song.)
Have you ever seen a
You ainít never seen a
Mega tron was Rambunctious hoping to lay
The lady from the Jetsonís Rosie, the Maid
Now she was waiting for a man to defend her
From the offender her
[Out-takes] Source: LYBIO.net
My (beepin) dryer keeps going off
You guys donít wash your clothes your (beep)in
nasty
YOu don;t know what Iím taling about
God damn it I canít get that line
Butt nekkid man
Now one of those should be good, no, Iím
putting my clothes (beeP) back on
I know thatís normal
Do they do that in p(#&n Brandon
Did you cut out that money shot
Hopefully you can put my hand over a breast
