

The Adventures

## of

## Archie and Jan

By

Mario V. Farina

Copyright 2019 Mario V. Farina, Smashwords Edition, License Notes. All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the author.

Correspondence may be directed to:

Mario V. Farina, email: mario@mariofarina.com

The author of the stories which follow has over 200 other stories published in Smashwords.com. He welcomes you to search for them, view them, and, if desired, download. Most of the stories are free.
Table of Contents

1. First Date On A Windy Day 1

2. An Ideal Date 10

3. An Unexpected Visitor 12

4. I Don't Want Her, I Want You 17

5. Why Did She Say That? 21

6. Thou Art A Witch! 27

7. What Would Annoy Me About You If We Wed? 31

8. If You Were The Only Girl In The World 35

9. Jan and Archie Are Married 38

10. What Do We Do Now? 40

11. Love Letters 45

12. Remembering The Anniversary 49

13. Be My Wife For A Day 52

14. I Don't Want To Be Married Anymore 58

15. No Valentines This Year! 66

16. Terrible, But I Loved It! 70

17. The Mysterious Cup 74

18. A Tinkling Piano In The Next Apartment 80

19. Let's Try Again! 85

20. Devotion 87

21. I Don't Think I Should Do That 93

22. The Marriage Counselor 102

23. Mysterious Woman 107

24. Jan Confounds A Burglar 114

25. The Shared Gift 119

26. Two Sleepy People 123

27. Thou Wouldst Still Be Adored 129

28. A Rolls With ESP 135

29. Voyage To Mars 139

30. Some Philosophic Thoughts on a Bus Headed for Dallas 143
1. First Date On A Windy Day

Time of Current Episode: May 1, 2019

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 28

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 23

Mark Baldwin, Auto Salesman

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie Wilcox meets Jan Robinson and is smitten by her. Seeks to date her.

Archie Wilcox studied his image in the mirror as he adjusted his hairpiece. He was only twenty-eight but had begun losing his hair five years earlier. There was plenty of hair along the sides and back but very little on top. The piece had restored dark brown hair to his head and almost ten years of youth to his appearance.

And now, he was in love. He had met Jan Robinson at Ridgewood College, where he worked, and had been smitten as never before. She was a new secretary in the Humanities Department. She was about twenty-three and looked forward to a successful career at Ridgewood.

As Assistant Professor of English, Archie had occasions to see and speak to Jan several times during the week.

"Ms. Robinson, I need this outline typed before the staff meeting this afternoon. Would you see if you can fit it into your busy schedule?" Jan had always complied with Archie's requests.

One time, however, she turned her blue eyes toward him in a way that he found most disconcerting. "I'll try, Professor Wilcox. Isn't this the same outline that you gave me yesterday – and the day before?"

"Well, as a matter of fact," he said, "it is, but you'll note that I've made some changes. I know it's an imposition, but would you mind...?"

"No problem at all, Professor. I'm sure I can get it done."

Archie had walked back to his office. He wasn't making much progress in getting to know Jan better. A more direct approach was needed.

He knew where Jan went for lunch. He thought that an "accidental" meeting at the Busy Bee Cafeteria would help break the ice. At lunchtime the following day, Archie caught a glimpse of Jan's trim figure as she put the cover on her typewriter and strode out the door. It was a beautiful sunny day in early May. Archie decided that lunch at the Busy Bee today would be a good idea.

"Oh, hello Jan," Archie ventured, as he carried his tray to the table where she was sitting. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

"Oh, no, Professor. I'd be glad to have your company."

Archie gazed at Jan's attractive face and his stomach began tumbling like a clothes dryer. He hoped that his emotions wouldn't betray him. People had frequently told him he wore his heart on his sleeve – whatever that meant.

They chatted as they dined. During the conversation, Archie discovered that Jan was twenty-three and a recent graduate of Smith Business College. She was trained in secretarial work, but hoped that some day she might go back to school to become a Sales Specialist. He also discovered two facts that were of great interest to him. Jan was not married and had no boyfriend. Also exciting was the fact that she was interested in sports cars.

"What a coincidence," exclaimed Archie. "I've been a sports car fan since I was a kid. As a matter of fact, I was planning on picking one up this weekend. Maybe you'd like to take a ride with me after I do this."

The truth wasn't quite that. Archie was a sports car fan, true, and had been for many years, but he had trouble fitting his tall, lanky frame into one. Though he had admired them from afar, he had never actually planned to purchase one. Living in an apartment very close to the college, he didn't feel the need for a car. But, here was his chance to form a closer relationship with the girl of his dreams. He needed to own a sports car now.

Archie couldn't afford a new car, so he decided to visit Mark's Used Cars on Saturday. There, he spotted a vintage Ford convertible that glistened in black. He walked closer to get a good look. Mark Baldwin, a heavy-set, middle-aged man with dark hair and mustache to match, exited from the sales office on the lot and approached the young man. "I see you're looking at this beautiful roadster," he declared.

Archie felt this was the car for him, but he wasn't going to make it easy for the salesman. "Oh, I don't know," he muttered. "Looks a little dated to me, real old. What are you askin'?"

"Twelve hundred," Mark responded. Maybe it's a little much for an old car but people have begun noticing cars like this. This car may be worth something in a few years. But if you're serious, you can probably buy the car for less! I gotta make a sale today or fall behind for the month. I can knock off two hundred but that's only for today!"

"How does she run?"

"Like a charm! Here, take the keys. Take a spin around the block. See if you can keep the girls away!"

Archie accepted the offer and struggled to get into the car. It was a tight squeeze. He started the engine, but didn't bother with a test ride. "What are your finance terms, and how soon can I take possession?" he asked.

"If you check out you can pick 'er up this afternoon. I'll finance the car for you personally. You'll have to rest of the year to pay."

"Done!" For the first time in his life, Archie was on the way to becoming the owner of a sports car. Well, it wasn't a Jaguar or an Austin Healey, but it was a convertible, and that qualified as being a sports car, he reasoned.

The afternoon was sunny and warm, but a little windy. Archie walked to Mark's lot from his apartment and rushed through the mandatory paper-signing formalities. The top was still down. He opened the door and, somehow, squeezed himself into the driver seat. There was barely adequate legroom inside. The trick was getting in!

Archie put the car into first gear and drove off the lot. Shifting into second and third, he turned down right on to Washington Boulevard. He planned on revving up the Ford to see how it accelerated. He mashed down on the foot pedal and the car leapt forward. Exhilarated, he watched as the speedometer hit twenty, then thirty miles per hour. Everything was going fine so far.

Suddenly, Archie's hairpiece gave an early warning that it was about to become dislodged. Frantically grasping at it, Archie caught the hank of hair just as it was about to sail from his head. He kept his hand on it while he made a hasty stop at the side of the road. Then he spent several minutes evaluating the situation.

Archie had purchased his first hairpiece a long time ago. Over the years he had replaced them as they wore out or became outmoded. No one guessed that he wore artificial hair. The store-bought product had never given him a problem, that is, until today.

"Maybe more tape is what I need," Archie thought. The tape he used came in strips that were sticky on both sides. Several strips on the inside surface of the hairpiece allowed the hair to stick securely to his head. His hairpieces had never restricted him in anything he wanted to do. He had even swum with them. Today, the turbulence of the air surging through the car was more than the tapes could handle.

Archie drove home slowly and went into the bathroom. He removed his hairpiece and examined its inner surface. There simply wasn't room for more tape. Archie had to find another way to keep his hair on. It simply wouldn't do to have the hairpiece fly off his head on his first date with Jan.

Piloting the sports car to the nearby Grebbs Department Store, Archie purchased a black-and-red plaid sports cap. He placed it on his head over the hairpiece and turned his vehicle onto the nearest wide street. At twenty, then thirty miles per hour, there's was no difficulty, but when the car hit thirty-five, his cap flew off and the hairpiece kept it company. This time, there had been no warning.

Screeching to a halt, Archie exited from the car, and walked to where the two items were lying side-by-side not more than a few feet apart. Several children, who had been playing nearby, stared at him with a mixture of amazement and amusement. Archie ignored them as he picked up both items and walked back to his car. Folding himself into the seat, he put the hairpiece and cap into the car's tiny glove box and drove off bare-headed.

He went back to the department store and parked. He retrieved the hairpiece from the glove box. Ducking as low as he could in the car's cockpit, he positioned the hair on his head and tamped it down. Then he straightened up and adjusted it using the car's small, dash mounted rearview mirror. He then gave it a final tamping.

Inside the store, Archie purchased a parka. He put it on, loosened the hood and placed it over his head. He eased the car onto the street. His hair stayed in place, but when Archie began to perspire profusely he realized that this was not a practical solution to the problem.

He tried several other ideas that day and the next but nothing worked. Having found no solution to the flying-hairpiece problem, Archie dreaded the arrival of Monday. He felt that his romance with Jan was, not only going to end, but do so ignominiously.

"Did you get your new car over the weekend?" Jan asked Monday when she saw Archie.

"Well y-yes, I guess so," he responded.

"You sound a little dubious," she observed. "Don't you know?"

"Well, I did get a nice black Ford roadster, but I didn't drive it much."

"Oh, that's too bad. Why was that? Do you have it with you?"

"Well, y-yes, I guess so."

"You're sounding awfully unsure of yourself, Professor. I'd love to see the car – over lunch and have a ride in it!"

"Are you sure you want to, Jan. It's a convertible, and it's windy today."

"I love convertibles. The wind won't bother me. Is it a date? My treat!

At noontime, Jan and Archie walked to the school's parking lot. When she caught sight of the shiny black vehicle, she squealed with delight. She ran to it and waited patiently for Archie to catch up.

"Oh, it's such a beautiful car, and it's such a lovely day," Jan gushed. "Here, let me help you put the top down!"

"Isn't it a bit chilly for you? Don't you think it might rain?" "Nonsense! It's warm. There isn't a cloud in the sky. And the wind isn't bad. Besides, what's a sports car for unless the top is down?"

The top came down and was stowed neatly in the compartment behind the front seats. Then, Archie opened the passenger's door and helped Jan enter.

"The way to get into a sports car is this, he proclaimed. You sit in the seat, then swing your legs in."

"I know how to do it," she replied impatiently. "I'm a sports car fan, remember?"

Archie got behind the wheel, started the engine, and drove off. "Let's get on to Madison Avenue," Jan urged. "The traffic is lighter there and we can go faster."

"You know, you're not supposed to drive a new car very fast for the first few thousand miles."

"Professor Wilcox, this car has over 40,000 miles on it. It was broken in a long, long time ago."

"Yes, but, the police..."

"The speed limit on that road is forty-five. Hurry! I can hardly wait till I feel the wind blowing through my hair. Do you like wind blowing through your hair, Professor?"

"Oh, yes, yes of course I do. Wait a minute." Archie's stopped the car, exited and opened the trunk. He pulled out his parka and put it on. the hood covering his head.

"Professor Wilcox, what are you doing? It's so warm out. You can't get the sports car feel when you're all bundled up that way!"

"I guess you're right, Jan." Archie put the coat back into the luggage compartment and reentered the vehicle. He reached into the glove box, pulled out the plaid hat and positioned it carefully on his head.

"That's a beautiful cap, Professor," commented Jan. "The black in it matches the car color perfectly."

Keeping the speed of the car below thirty-five, Archie made his way to Madison Avenue. There, he began to increase the speed gradually. He placed his hand on top of his cap, pressing it downward.

Jan laughed. "You look so funny, Professor Wilcox. Are you afraid you're going to lose your cap?"

"Well, it's expensive." Archie protested. "Does it bother you if I hold onto it?"

"No, not at all." She smiled "When we get back, if you let me have it, I'll see if I can make the headband a little more snug so that you won't have to hold it all the time."

"That's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Downshift into second, Professor, I want to hear the sound of the engine as it revs up."

"Downshift into second?"

"Sure, she grinned. "You know, with the shift lever."

"But, I would have to use my right hand. I'm holding onto the cap with that hand. Wait a minute, maybe I can hold it with my left hand, then let go of the steering wheel for a second, then do the shift."

This complex set of actions required Archie to remove his hand from his head for a second. That's all it took. The hat flew away and took the hairpiece with it. From the rearview mirror, Archie could see both items landing on the road some hundred feet to the rear.

He slammed on the brakes. Jan gaped at him in amazement. After he had brought the car to a standstill, Archie mumbled, "Wait here," and exited from the car. With hands deep in his pockets, he sundered to where the cap and hairpiece were lying.

He was gone about five minutes. When he returned to the car, Jan was staring at him enraptured.

"Oh Professor Wilcox," she observed. "You're not a kid! I thought you were like those young juveniles they have at the college posing as intellectuals. You look so distinguished! Why do you wear that silly thing? The way you look, I find you to be very handsome!"

"Y-you like me this way?" Archie stammered incredulously.

"Oh yes, I do! Would you do me a favor? Wear that thing in class if you want to, but when you're with me, would you keep it off your head? I like you so much better without it." She laughed. "Then, too, when you're driving the car, you won't have to worry about losing your hair any more."

"It's not important to you that I don't have hair on my head?"

"Oh, Professor, it's not what's on a man's head that's important," she responded. "It's what's inside that counts!"
2. An Ideal Date

Time of Current Episode: June 30, 2019

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 28

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 23

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie asks Jan what are her ideas about what constitutes an ideal date.

D

uring lunchtime on the last day of classes, Archie asked Jan, "How would you describe an ideal date?"

She was surprised by the question but was able to formulate a response. "I'd like it to be on a Saturday afternoon," she said.

"Good start," Archie commented.

"I'd like it if a man I admired picked me up where I live and, together, go to my sister's home near Clifton where she and her husband run a horse farm. I love horses. My sister's name is Alice and her husband is William. Everyone calls him Bill."

"Sounds like two people, I'd love to meet," said Archie "And . . .?"

"Then have dinner at Olive Garden in the village. This is an old fashioned Italian place and their rigatoni is like nobody else's in the world!"

"Sounds wonderful."

"Finally, take a short walk through the village. There are some homes there that were built hundreds of years ago, some with huge columns at the front. I'd love to live in one of those!"

"If that is a dream of yours, I'm sure it could be made to happen."

"Finally, I and my date would go to the Friendly Ice Cream restaurant in Ames for ice cream. I'd love one of their double-sized banana splits."

"And then?"

"My date will take me home."

"Would there be an invitation to go inside for coffee?"

"I don't think so!" Jan said.

"I can accept that," responded Archie. "Do you think it may happen at some time in the future?"

"I do have the ability to see a little into the future," Jan declared. "You and I will be visiting a pretty young woman soon. After that meeting, I'll be telling you something more about me that you'll need to know!

"Soon, how soon, Jan?"

"I don't know myself!" she said.

3. An Unexpected Visitor

Time of Current Episode: September 15, 2019

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 28

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 23

Broderick Morgan, rough-looking intruder

Rover, a vicious pitbull

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan is accosted by an unwanted visitor at her home and she needs to protect herself.

Alarmed, shocked, and greatly surprised, Jan gasped, "Mr. Morgen, what are you doing here?"

"I was just walking by, Jan," Broderick Morgen responded. "Thought you might like a little company."

They were in the living room of Jan's apartment. Her front door had suddenly opened and the unexpected guest had walked in.

The uninvited individual was about fifty, stocky, with thinning gray hair, rough looking.

"I wasn't expecting you," Jan said. "Why are you here? I can't talk to you now. I'm busy!"

"Just for a little while!" he said. "You and me, we're sort of good friends. I go by lots of times. You know, I keep a watch of strangers on the street. I think the people in the neighborhood like that. I knew you don't lock your door. So, I thought I'd pop in, sort of friendly like, to chat a bit."

"You didn't ring the doorbell. Excuse me, if I sound a little surprised. Not a lot of people walk in like you did."

"Oh, I knew you wouldn't mind. You're so nice! You're so friendly! I knew I could walk in like a member of the family, sort of, you know!"

"You're right about the door. And I know that the neighbors like the way you keep us all safe, but, as a favor, would you ring the doorbell first, next time? I see you driving a police car now and then. Are you with the Police Department?"

"Naw, that's Gus's car next door. He leaves the car door open. I take it for a little ride now and then. With his permission! Whatcha doing, Jan? I'm only gonna stay a little while."

"Was there a special reason you decided to pop in, Mr. Morgan? I don't have a lot of time for chatting."

"Call me Brod," he said. "We've known each other long enough to be on a first-name basis. It's been about six months since you had a boyfriend, hasn't it?"

"Yes, but I still have lots of dates. You don't need to worry none about me!"

"Maybe you need a little male company once in a while?" he commented.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Broderick. I haven't been thinking that way."

"Call me Brod," he repeated. "I've been thinking you might want a strong man protecting you at home!"

"I haven't been thinking that way, Brod." She began walking away.

"Where you going?" he demanded.

"I thought Rover might be coming out to greet you. I just wanted to check on him in the utility room. He naps there. Sometimes, he gets ugly when something, or someone, suddenly wakes him up."

"Rover? A dog?"

"Yes, he's a pitbull. He's normally very nice. Doesn't like company a lot, though. He gets upset if he thinks I'm in danger."

"I ain't seen no pitbull around your house," he mumbled.

"He hides. In the morning I let him out to do his duty, and he stays out of sight. He's afraid of having to go back to DRS, you know, Doggie Reform School."

"I ain't never heard of no doggie reform school. What's that?"

"The city set that up about a year ago," she said. "It's for vicious dogs who would otherwise be put down. The owners send them there if they have injured someone, but don't want them killed. Rover was tamed to protect me by one of my boyfriends! There was an incident some weeks ago where a salesman came to sell me a vacuum cleaner while my boyfriend, Jack, was away, and the guy began making passes at me. Rover jumped on him and began tearing him to bits. It was all I could do to stop him. The ambulance came and took the man away. I'm not sure whether he fully recovered. There was blood all over the living room carpet. I had to replace it. Rover was sent to DRS for a month."

"Rover is that vicious?" Broderick asked shuddering violently. "He's here now?"

"Yes, that's why I wanted to see where he was. If he hears me saying something loudly, or suddenly, even if it doesn't mean anything, he could come rushing out and attack you. I wouldn't want that to happen! This time, I would have to put him down."

"Can't you just close the door to the utility room. I was hoping me and you could get comfortable and be more friendly-like. You know what I mean?"

## "Yes I do know what you mean Mr., that is, Brod. Just closing the door might wake him up suddenly, and set him off. That would not be a good thing."

## "Aw, maybe if we're very quiet, he wouldn't even know."

## "I'm just not interested, Brod," she said. "I think it would be best if you left now."

## "Don't be like that," Broderick exclaimed angrily. "How about a little kiss!" He reached out to embrace her.

She backed away. "No, I'm not interested. Leave now!"

"You know you don't mean that!" he insisted as he approached her again.

"Rover, attack!" she shrieked. Facing him, she shouted, "Brod, get out of this house as fast as you can!" she yelled at the unwelcome visitor. "He'll kill you!"

Broderick aborted any plans we might have had, turned and disappeared out the door from which he had come within seconds.

Jan sank into the nearest armchair breathing hard. "Thank you, Rover," she whispered. Rover did not show. There was no Rover. There had never been a Rover!

Jan reached for the phone on the stand next to the armchair, and dialed 911. "Please send an officer," she panted. "I want to report an attempted attack."

She rose shakily, walked to the door and flipped the lock.

Regaining strength, she walked into her den, started the computer, and opened her email program. There was a message from Archie. First, she read the message that she had sent him that morning:

As for my apartment, I do not routinely lock the front door during the day when I am home, but I do usually keep the back door locked since it is out of view of the neighbors. Where I live, I am surrounded by people on both sides and across the street. In particular, my next door neighbor is hyper-vigilant. He notices anything and everything out of the ordinary and he is home during the day every day. He has in the past accosted unfamiliar people on our street asking them why they are there, can he help them find someone. They always turn out to be regular people out walking, or selling something, or the like. He also has a friend who works for the Police Department who comes to visits him regularly, often driving his police car. I don't feel unsafe leaving the front door unlocked when I am home.

And a response from Archie:

Please, Jan. I worry about you! Your safety means a lot to me. Please, please, lock all your doors whether you're away or at home.

Jan was preparing to respond when she heard the police beating at the door. She went to greet them. This is the message she sent later in response to Archie's:

Archie, dear friend, Thanks for your advice! From now on, I'll do as you ask! More later.

4. I Don't Want Her, I Want You

Time of Current Episode: July 1, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 24

Georgia Smith, Beautiful girl with red hair

Wilma Brown, Girl with beautiful figure

Judy Jensen, Very intelligent woman

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan suggests possible wives for Archie and he rejects them. He tells Jan, he prefers her.

I

t was barely six a.m., a Saturday in July. The phone rang. Archie reached for it sleepily. "Hello," he mumbled. There was a woman's voice on the other end. He listened for a moment, then said, "Jan, is that you? Why are you calling me so early?" He listened, then said, "Yes I know we have a date today. Did you think I would forget?" He listened again. "Yes, in the park. Noontime. You'll bring a picnic lunch? By our tree. Got it!"

When he arrived, she had a tablecloth laid out. There were baskets on it. He walked over to where Jan was sitting on the ground, and kissed her lightly on her lips. Then he sat beside her. She was wearing a white shirt and a red skirt. Her long blond hair flowed halfway to her lap. He was in jeans.

"Today we're going to have a very important meeting," she announced. He looked puzzled.

"You always say I teach you a lot of things, haven't you?" He nodded.

"Yes, you know that I've always been interested in your welfare," she said. "So I have some things to tell you and some things to ask you."

"That's OK with me," he responded.

"You're about twenty-nine and have a good job at Ridgewood. You have saved some money. I'm younger than you, but I think I can give you some good advice!"

"I'm sure you can," he replied.

"A lot of people your age are thinking about marriage. Would you agree that what I'm saying is probably accurate?"

"Sure!"

"I would like to have you get interested in some nice girls with the objective of you getting married soon."

"I wasn't thinking about getting married."

"You see. I'm always doing a lot of the thinking for you. We've been dating almost a year; don't you agree I do a lot of good thinking for you?"

"If you say so."

"I have three nice girls in mind for you. You know them. They are Georgia Smith, Wilma Brown, and Judy Jensen. Do you agree that they are very nice girls?"

"Yes I do, but I don't see why this would be of interest to me at this time. You and I are enjoying dating and I think really having a lot of fun. I don't see why three other girls would be of interest to me at this time. I think that dating one girl at a time is the right way that most people would handle a relationship like ours."

"That's where my thinking comes in handy," she said. "The time for dating has ended, and the time for thinking about getting married has begun. I need to talk to you about Georgia."

"I don't see why I have to begin thinking about Georgia now, when I'm having a perfectly satisfactory time thinking about you!"

"There you go again. That's precisely the reason why you have me around. It's my responsibility to keep you on track. Do you agree that Georgia is a very beautiful girl?"

"Yes, but . . ."

"Have you ever looked, really looked at her lovely red hair?"

"I think red hair is beautiful but I like your hair better!"

"All right, Georgia is not for you. But I would like to tell you about Wilma. Wilma has hair a lot like mine, and she has an outstanding figure. Don't you agree about her figure?"

"I really haven't been paying much attention to her figure."

"Well it's about time you began paying attention to women's figures."

"I don't know how to tell you this but I have been paying quite a lot of attention to your figure. I don't find Wilma's figure particularly intriguing."

"All right then, Wilma is not for you. But you must pay attention to what I'm going to say next about Judy Jensen. Judy is a very intelligent woman. She's going to be a judge someday. You must agree that being married to a smart woman is a very good thing."

"But Jan, you've told me many times that you are very smart and need to do a lot of the thinking for me. Why would I need Judy to do any thinking for me when you're doing such a superb job?"

"Well, I have proposed three wonderful women for you to marry. I think you have to make a decision. Which of them do you want as a bride?"

"I do not want any of them!"

"Well then, I must make the decision for you. I think you need to marry Georgia Smith."

"I don't want her!"

"How about Wilma Brown?"

"I don't want her!"

"How about Judy Jensen?"

"I don't want her!"

"For heaven sake, you're hard to please. Who do you want?"

"I don't want any of them. I want you!"

"OK, I accept your proposal! We're engaged! Golly, you make decisions fast! Let's eat!"

5. Why Did She Say That?

Time of Current Episode: August 1, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 24

Madame Lucy Teasdale, Psychic medium

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Madame Teasdale is hiding an insidious plan in giving Archie and Jan readings.

Jan and Archie were in the living room of Madame Lucy Teasdale. She was a psychic. Several weeks before, she had sent an advertisement to Archie's home offering a free reading. He had not accepted at the time, but when a second offer came, Jan suggested both of them go see her to receive readings. Archie had never believed a great deal in the ability of psychics to predict anything, but, since Jan did not seem to be a skeptic, he agreed.

When they met, Madame Teasdale said, "I'm glad you accepted my offer. I had intended the advertisement to be for the person I addressed. However, since Mr. Wilcox has brought a guest, I can do both at the same time without charging anything extra."

"That's very nice of you, Ms. Teasdale," Archie said, "how do you wish us to address you, simply as Ms. Teasdale or Madame Teasdale?"

"Lucy, would be best," she graciously responded.

Archie was twenty-nine at this time. He and Jan were dating. The woman they were speaking with was a stunning brunette, tall, about five-nine, well-built, between twenty-five and thirty. Her hair fell well below her shoulders. She was dressed in black, her eyes were hazel, her lips, bright red. By contrast, Jan's hair was blond, and she was much smaller in stature than Lucy. Though many would deem Lucy to be very attractive, Archie's tastes leaned toward a smaller person and a woman with much lighter hair.

Archie said, "I'm Archie Wilcox. My companion's name is Jan Robinson. She's my girlfriend, and has been for several months. We're engaged, but have not yet formalized our engagement, nor have we decided on a wedding date."

"Thank you for the information," responded Lucy. "Because of my powers within the paranormal, I already know much of what you're telling me about Jan," she said. "And, about you. You're twenty-nine, born in May, an assistant professor, and teach at Ridgewood College." Amazed, Archie said, "that's exactly right, Lucy! I'm almost afraid to continue with this. You may tell me things I wouldn't want to know."

"I sense there will be much I tell you today that will interest, possibly even alarm you," she said. "However, I see more that is positive. I think I would like to start with Jan. In the meantime, Mr. Wilcox, please sit in this room while Jan and I go into the Cosmic Room for a private reading. Then, I'll do your reading. Is that all right with you?"

He nodded his head, yes, and sat in a nearby couch.

Lucy took Jan by the hand and disappeared into an adjoining room. Archie sat in a small armchair. There was no reading material nearby. He had no option except to wait patiently until the reading had been completed. There was a large grandfather's clock in a corner and he found himself admiring its appearance. As the pendulum swung back and forth, he felt himself becoming drowsy. However, he knew he should stay awake.

Archie didn't know exactly how long Lucy and Jan had been together. However, he knew he had actually dozed off. It could have been just a few minutes, or as long as an hour. He had no idea, but became fully alert when Jan and Lucy reentered the room chatting amiably.

"Your turn, darling," declared Jan. "I'll wait for you here."

"Kalamazoo," Lucy said loudly to no one in particular.

"Why did she say that?" Archie wondered. "Were you speaking to me, Lucy?" he asked.

"Smiling, she said, yes, I was having some fun with words. A long time ago, a stove manufacturer, based in Michigan, had a slogan, Kalamazoo, direct to you. The phrase sometimes occurs to me, and I use it. Roughly translated, it means 'you're next'!"

"Oh," he said, but not fully understanding. He rose from his seat, stood somewhat unsteadily, then joined Lucy as they walked to the so-called Cosmic Room. There were two straight chairs there. Lucy directed he sit in one, while she sat in another facing him. There was a small table between them, a crystal ball prominently displayed on its surface. It was large, possibly a foot in diameter. To Archie, it seemed he could see deeply into it. However, currently, there was nothing clearly visible within.

"Archie," Lucy said, "Jan and I, had a good reading. I imagine she will tell you about it when you two are together. For now, let us direct our attention to you!" She looked in the globe for several minutes. Then she spoke. "I'm afraid what I tell you at first will not please you. However, I feel I must do it, in order to have you avoid some major problems with your future. Much as I hate to say this, Jan is not for you! A marriage with her would be a disaster!"

"You were right," Archie angrily exclaimed. "I had not expected you to begin like this! I think I'm already upset!"

"I knew you would be disturbed," she said. "But I needed to chance it. I cannot let you leave here without telling you the truth! I see unpleasant events that could transpire and affect you adversely during the rest of your life! However, at the same time I give you bad news, I have discovered much that is excellent! You are able to see for yourself in the crystal ball. Look deeply into it. What do you see?" She pushed the ball a few inches closer to Archie.

He directed his attention into the glistening globe, but saw nothing.

"Look more deeply," she commanded. Now, Archie began to see images. At first he could not make out what he was seeing, but gradually the imagery became more clear.

"Do you see a wedding taking place," Lucy asked?

"Yes, he responded; I think so."

"There are two people at the altar," she stated. "One of them is you! Do you see that?"

"Yes!"

"What is the color of the woman's hair," she asked?

"I can't make it out," he replied.

"Do you not see that it is brunette?"

"Yes, yes, now I do. I can't believe this! The woman is not Jan!"

"Do you see who she is? You know her! Look closely. Look at the hair. See its color? See its length? Do you not see a woman that you now recognize?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure."

"Archie, that woman is me!"

"Oh my God," he cried out with astonishment. "It is! How can this be? I have only known you for a few minutes."

"Fate, Archie! Fate brought you to me today. I'm as surprised as you are! I was fated to send you that advertisement! You were fated to come here today! We were fated to meet! We were fated, you and I, to be joined in marriage as you see in the crystal ball! I'm overwhelmed by this wonderful discovery and can't continue with this session. However, we must have another meeting tomorrow to discuss what we are now learning, and to make plans for the future. Go now! Tell Jan what you have learned. Do not bring her with you tomorrow!"

Lucy took Archie's hand and led him back to where Jan was waiting.

Archie was in the daze as he and Jan returned to his apartment. He was so distraught he asked her to drive.

"How did your reading go?" Archie asked Jan anxiously.

"Terrible," she responded! "She told me I was not right for you!

"Why did she say that?" Archie asked.

"She said she was fated to be your bride!"

"Unbelievable!" commented Archie. "How did you feel about that?"

"I thought it was funny! I almost began laughing out loud!"

"Laughing? Didn't it bother you?"

"No, it was fun! I could see she was trying to scam us!"

"Scam us!? How?"

"She wants you for herself! She probably knew all about you before she sent the advertisement. Lucy is not a psychic! She's a hypnotist! When you were waiting for me, she was hypnotizing you at the same time she was giving me a phony reading. That clock, with the pendulum swinging to and fro, lulled you to sleep even from a distance. Then she gave you, what's called a post-hypnotic suggestion. She arranged it so when you heard a special word, you would become hypnotized and believe everything she had told you. That special word was Kalamazoo!"

Archie said, "I heard the word! Kalamazoo! I wondered why she said it. How long does a suggestion last?"

"Until it's canceled," said Jan. "It is with you even now. You are still bound to believe everything she told you."

"How does it get canceled?" Archie asked with alarm.

"Simply by repeating the word," she answered. "Shall we say it together?"

"By all means," Archie exclaimed. "Let's shout it out!"

"Kalamazoo," they yelled in unison.

"How do you feel now, darling," she asked.

"Furious," he replied. "Everything she said to me was a lie!"

"Tomorrow, you can call and tell her what I've told you," she suggested.

"Dear one," he asked, "How did you know all of this?"

"Darling," she said, "you know a lot about me, but not everything! I am a true psychic but don't practice it! I've never told you this since it's never been important. I knew what she was going to try when I saw the advertisement she sent you! I thought it would be fun to see her try!"

"I didn't think it was fun!" Archie said. "Is there anything else about you that you haven't told me."

She glanced at him coyly but didn't respond.
6. Thou Art A Witch

Time of Current Episode: August 2, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 24

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan tells Archie about the time a bad witch turned her into a coffee cup.

Jan, yesterday when we were in after we left Lucy Teasdale's home, you told me you are a psychic! Did you really mean what you said? Are you a witch?"

"No Archie," Jan replied. I am a real psychic, and have some of the powers that witches have. As a child, I resolved to always use those powers only for good purposes. I knew she was lying to you, and needed to tell you this so you would not make a bad mistake and join up with her.

"I think you, alone, should make the decision who is best for you! she continued. Only you should consider the true facts!"

"Honey, are witches bad? Archie asked. I've heard there are good and bad witches!"

"I know a lot about witches, dear," Jan said. Let me tell you something!"

"Please! Archie said.

This is what Jan told Archie:

We live in a world of witches. This is more of a problem in other lands than it is in the United States because we don't use archaic language anymore. But we should know more about witches anyway.

There are many witches in our country. They look like ordinary people, both men and women. There are bad witches and there are good witches. The bad witches can cast spells; good witches cannot do this, but they can remove them where they exist.

If you say to a person, "Thou art a witch!" there may be a reaction. If he or she is not a witch, the individual may be offended, but nothing worse is likely to happen. However, if that person is a bad witch, he or she may cast a spell upon you. The spell will be such that it can be removed only by a good witch!

I can't emphasize how important that last paragraph is!

I was in a diner one time after I had learned about witches. There was a lovely young woman serving me and I thought I'd try an experiment. I said, "Thou art a witch!" The plan was that if she complained, I'd say I was just having some fun. As it turned out, the woman was a bad witch! She became very angry and, indeed, placed me under a spell. She turned me into a coffee cup! Would you believe it, a coffee cup!

I had not expected this outcome and spent several days suffering in this condition. I thought I'd be able to take away any spell, but I as wrong! This came as a shock! But I was optimistic. Every time I'd be placed on a table and someone sat there to eat, I'd say, "Thou art a witch!" My hope was that a good witch would hear me and remove the spell. Most of the time the result was, simply, shock. After all, who had ever heard a coffee cup talk?

After a week of this unpleasant existence, a pretty woman came to breakfast. She was alone. I said, "Thou art a witch!" I was hoping she was a good witch so that she could remove the spell.

"Yes," she responded. "I am a good witch." I was overjoyed and begged, "Would you please make me human again?" She was willing, but in no hurry. She wanted to know more about me. Her name was Kim Spencer. We had a pleasant chat, which was interrupted only when the server, a kindly-looking older woman, came to take the her order. I had found out a lot of good things about the young woman, but all she knew about me, up to that point, was that I was a coffee cup.

We continued our conversation. I liked her and believed she would help me. Bacon and eggs were delivered to her and she enjoyed them, but I had nothing but coffee!

After the good witch had eaten, she changed me back to a human. At that time, I found myself sitting opposite her. We continued to chat. At the end, we exchanged telephone numbers and she left. The server came back and stared at me. "I didn't see you come in," she exclaimed. "How could she have," I thought? I had been there all the while as a coffee cup!

I found this a little amusing and was chortling a little too loudly.

"What's so funny," she asked?

I was laughing by this time, and said through my tears, "I was thinking about the time I said something I shouldn't have and got turned into a coffee cup!"

"What on earth did you say," the server asked?

"Thou art a witch," I replied!

The woman's countenance took on a severe appearance "That was nasty!" she growled and turned me back to a coffee cup. I thought I'd be in for a long wait before the nice lady would come back to the diner. Fortunately, she had left her address book on her lap and it had fallen to the floor. I begged her to turn me back to a human again, and she laughed as she did so. I had made a terrible mistake and had paid for it.

"Wow," Archie said. "If she had not come back, I might be talking to a coffee cup now!"

"No, not much chance," Jan insisted, "there are lots of good witches roaming around taking away spells!

"Make me a coffee cup," Archie said.

"Why? gasped Jan. "Why would you want this?"

"To see what it's like!"

"I can't do it," Jan said. "Only a bad witch can cast a spell! Believe me, it's not a pleasant feeling being a coffee cup. Please, Archie, don't ever say, 'thou art a witch'. I might not be with you!"

"I promise!" Archie said.

7. What Would Annoy Me About You

If We Are Wed?

Time of Current Episode: September 18, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 24

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan are engaged. Jan wants to know what would annoy her about Archie if they marry.

W

hat would annoy me about you if we wed?" Jan asked.

Somewhat surprised by the question, Archie thought for a moment. "Why do you say 'if', Jan? We're engaged, remember?"

"Just kidding," she said. "I don't want to change anything! Just being curious! What would annoy me about you when we wed?"

I have lots of faults," he replied. "I'm not sure which would annoy you."

Jan and Archie were sitting on the grass near Crimson River. They had spent some time walking along the shore talking about their upcoming wedding in October, and had been making long-term plans for a happy life together. Jan had told a joke about having enough kids to build a baseball team, and they had laughed.

"Give me an example of your faults. I promise to do the same about me," she said.

"I splash a lot!" he said.

"Tell me more," she replied.

"When I'm in the bathroom rinsing my hands or shaving, I do it with gusto," he said. "Water splashes, and wets the floor. I usually put a large towel on the floor to absorb some of the wetness. When I'm done I toss the towel in the bathtub or put it on the radiator if it's winter. Sometimes after a shower, I'll walk around the bedroom tracking water on the carpet."

"I'm more neat," said Jan . "What you said might annoy me. What else do you do that might also do that? What you've said so far is not bad, though!"

"Why do you want to know these things?" asked Archie.

Just joshing," she said. "Looking ahead. Wondering what adjustments I might need to make. What's another thing?"

"I make a mess when I cook," he said. "When I use a frying pan, oil spatters all over the range. Also, I don't wash the dishes right away. I just put 'em in the sink. I don't put herbs back on the shelf and food in the refrigerator. I get around to those things eventually, but not when I should. You might find that annoying."

"I'm the opposite," commented Jan . "I do everything that needs to be done right away."

"Would what I do annoy you too much?" asked Archie with a worried look on his face.

"No, only a little, I suppose, but I think you would learn to follow my examples. There's nothing here worth worrying about!"

"Thank goodness!" he exclaimed.

"You're not off the hook yet," she retorted. "What else do I need to know about? 'Fess up!"

"I hate getting out of bed!" he remarked quickly. "I'm a night owl. Going to bed at two is not unusual for me."

"Wow!" she said. "That's a bad one, but I have some ideas for getting you better trained. I'll make sure the clock radio is on your side of the bed and working fine. I'm sure we'll both be working at first and I'll wake you up when I get up!"

There was a pause. "Do I pass?" he asked.

"Just barely so far," she smiled. "Is there something else?"

"I don't think so!"

"Come on! Think hard! What's the next one?"

"I'm not good at making repairs," Archie admitted. "I don't know anything about electricity or engines," he continued. "If the car breaks down, I would need to call Triple A. If the toaster quits, I'd buy a new one. I even have trouble installing a new battery in the wall clock when it stops. I know you'd rather be married to someone more handy. I'm all thumbs. This would annoy you, I'm sure!"

"No," said Jan. "You don't need to be skilled with your hands. You're good with numbers. Brain work is as hard as fixing something. We'll cover repairs with good insurance and backups. Besides, I took a course in high school called 'Home Repairs for Women.' If something breaks, I'll try my hand at making it work!"

"How talented, you are!" he said. "Did you, by any chance take accounting in school? We'll need to budget for a while!"

"No," she laughed. "You'll do the figuring in the family."

"Great," he replied with an exaggerated sigh.

"Just tell me one more thing that would annoy me," she urged. "Then I'll end the inquisition!"

"Can't think of anything," he objected.

"Come on, just one more! What about sports?"

"Now, you've got me," he said grudgingly. "This is going to bother you. I'm a sports fan, baseball, football, basketball. If the game has a ball, I love it. I spend a lot of time watching the games and hollering at the TV!"

"Hockey?"

"Yes, and soccer!" he replied.

"Golf!"

"Yes, and bocce ball!"

"Anything else?" she asked.

"Lacrosse, skiing, jai alai, tennis. I could go on and on!"

"It seems like a never-ending list," she observed. "Her face took on a sorrowful look. You mean all this?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so!"

"Any chance this might change?"

"No"

"No chance at all?"

"None!"

"Have you any idea what this means?" she asked sadly?

"I'm afraid to ask," Archie said.

"I love it!" she declared. "All I really wanted to know is how you feel about sports. We're really going to get along really well! I'm an avid sports fan too!"

8. If You Were the Only Girl in the World

Time of Current Episode: September 18, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Current Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Current Age 24

Place: Hotel Milton, Milton, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan are at the wedding of Sam Willard. Archie tells Jan how he would feel about her is she were the only girl in the world.

Archie and Jan had been invited to the wedding of Archie's buddy, Sam Willard. It had been a gala affair. They were in the sitting room of the Hotel Milton waiting for the reception to begin. There was not a single other person to be seen. She had her head on his shoulder and they were holding hands.

"While you were at that stag thing last night, I was listening to some old-time songs on Youtube," Jan said. "How did it go last night."

"It was OK."

"That was nice. Sam was Guest Of Honor?"

"Yes, I guess one would say so."

"What do they do at a stag party?"

"They sing songs, tell jokes, kid around, eat a lot."

"Sounds like you had fun. I'm glad of that!"

"Me too. What kind of music were you listening to?"

"Romantic. I particularly enjoyed Perry Como."

"Perry Como? I don't think I ever heard of him."

"I hadn't either. I was just browsing when I discovered him. He sang a song that I particularly liked."

"What was that?"

"The song was 'If You Were The Only girl In the World.' I looked it up. It was written by Nat Ayar and the lyrics were by Clifford Grey. It was first published in 1916."

"Wow, a whole century ago!"

"I memorized a few lines. Would you like to hear?"

"Of course, darling!"

"'If you were the only girl in the world, and I was the only boy, nothing else would matter in the world today!' Of course, if the song was being sung by a girl, it would begin with 'the only boy in the world.'"

"That is so meaningful, for us today. It seems as if the song had been written for you and me!"

"That's the way I feel," said Jan. "The way I love you today, nothing else matters. It would be all right with me if you and I were the only ones in the world."

"I feel the same, dearest," he responded, "did you memorize more?"

"Yes sweetheart, the song also says, 'a garden of roses just made for two, with nothing to mar our joy.' Actually, the song says Eden, not roses, but I saw there is a garden of roses outside of the hotel. I hope Mr. Grey won't mind."

"That's very pretty," he said. "And in addition?"

"'I would say such wonderful things to you. There would be such wonderful things to do.'"

"I love those words," Archie said. "I wouldn't have any trouble saying wonderful things to you! But what if those wonderful things required people?"

"We could still do them, silly!"

"What if we went to a restaurant, and there was no server?"

"We would go into the kitchen, and I would make a marvelous meal for you!"

"And who would take care of the dishes?"

"I'd wash and you'd dry!"

"And what if we were driving on our honeymoon, and ran out of gas?"

"We would walk!"

"You're right, dear one, we would have no trouble being the only two people in the world."

"Of course, and we wouldn't be the first only boy and girl in the world!"

"Thanks for reminding me! What else does the song say?"

"'There would be such wonderful things to do!'""Like what?"

"Like taking a walk through the rose garden! Would you like to do that now?"

"Yes, but first, one thing."

"What would that be?"

He put his arms around her and kissed her on the lips. "That!" he said. "I think we have time. Let's take that walk!"
9. Archie and Jan are Married

Time of Current Episode: October 8, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 24

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan marry. They had made friends with the servers at Olive Garden who surprised the couple with a dinner delivered to their new home. After the wedding, the newly-married couple begin their honeymoon trip.

Jan and Archie loved to joke and would often play tricks on each other. She was better at this than he. There was many a time when they'd be feeling blue for one reason or another, and she'd do or say something that would cheer him up immediately.

While dating, they had loved having dinner at Olive Garden. Though meals at this restaurant were not expensive, they had decided to visit there only once every two weeks, and always on a Saturday afternoon. They'd share the cost. Since they went to the same place every time, they got to know the servers well and the servers began recognizing them.

The servers knew they were not married and referred to the couple as their friends, Jan and Archie. One of the servers was a young college girl name Eva. Eva had a habit, when serving, of using the word absolutely often. Diners ask for more bread and she'd say, "absolutely," and dash off to get it. Or, they'd ask dessert and she'd exclaim, "absolutely," and scamper to the kitchen. Jan and Archie enjoyed referring to her as the absolutely girl.

Being philosophers of a sort, Jan and Archie would often discuss the effects of words. The words they used, under various circumstances, could give them information, bring tears to their eyes or make them laugh. The couple shared their thoughts with Eva and she laughed when they told her what they had nicknamed her.

"I'll try to do better," she had said.

"Please don't do that, replied Jan. We love you just as you are. Stay as sweet as you are!" Then, she sang the old tune by the same name. Eva promised she would.

The servers at Olive Garden became part of the family. Jan and Archie invited her to their wedding on October 8, 2020. It was a simple affair at Holy Spirit Church. Jan wore a gown that had been modified and handed down from her mother. Eva was Maid of Honor. Archie wore a dark blue suit. His best man was Jerry, one of the servers at the restaurant.

The bridal couple had decided to spend their first evening of marriage in a new apartment they had rented. Then, they were to enjoy a two-week honeymoon at Niagara Falls. After a brief reception at the church, she and Archie rode in her Smart Car to their new home. Upon entering the apartment, they were surprised to see that a dinner had been prepared by the employees at Olive Garden and had been delivered for them to enjoy.

Archie and Jan were now alone! "What do we do now," asked Archie.

"We need to start our honeymoon trip," said Jan.

Which is what they did!
10. What Do We Do Now?

Time of Current Episode: October 8, 2020

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 24

Place: Van Curler Hotel, Sherwood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan arrive at a hotel. They spend an awkward evening together not fully understanding how to behave with each other. Afterwards, Jan plays a trick on Archie.

Some hours later, Archie and Jan arrived at the Van Curler Hotel. Pleasant memories lingered in their minds. Early that afternoon, they had been married at the Holy Spirit Church in Plainville. A simple reception had been held immediately following in the Church Hall. They had cut the cake and changed into travel clothing. They had then embarked on their honeymoon trip. Their destination was Montréal. It was after the had driven one-hundred miles that Archie suggested they stop to rest for the night. Jan agreed it would be a good idea.

They were in Room 206. The bellhop had realized they were newlyweds, and congratulated them profusely. He promised he would come back later with a complementary bottle of champagne.

"What do we do now," asked Archie?

"The night is young," responded Jan. "It's a little after ten. Let's check the TV. There may be a good movie on!"

Using the remote, Archie browsed the sixty available channels, but found nothing he thought would be interesting, not even the football game on Channel 16. The champagne arrived, and the couple toasted each other with the resolution they would repeat this toast on their 50th anniversary at this very same hotel. A single glass each of the bubbly beverage was sufficient for the couple.

"What shall we do now," asked Archie?

"I'm hungry," said Jan. "I'd like to see what the restaurant has. Don't you think it's a good idea to go down and take a look?"

"Of course, honey," Archie responded. "But, we had cake just a few hours ago. Do you think you'll be able to eat?"

"Just a little bite would be welcome!" Jan said. "Come on, let's go!"

"Good idea, Darling," said Archie! "Checking out the restaurant is a marvelous idea!" Someone, who might have been looking for it, might have noted a tone of disappointment in what Archie had said. He would have denied it, of course.

As they entered the door to La Belle Venue Restaurant, they heard strains of romantic music emanating from an unseen orchestra playing, Some Enchanted Evening. There were a few couples on the dance floor near the stage swaying to the music. The bellhop, who had delivered the champagne, noticed Archie and Jan and hurried to give the news to his manager. The latter disappeared into a control room. The music faded and a voice from an unseen speaker traveled through wires to a microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the voice announced, "I'm Vincent Altamont, Hotel Manager. I've just learned that newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Archie are our guests this evening. Give them a hearty welcome. The next several tunes we play will be in honor of them. We'll begin with the Anniversary Song sung by Tom Jones."

The song began. People sitting at various tables rose and joined the couples on the floor.

Many recognized the honored couple and congratulated them for their wedding, wishing them luck and happiness. Archie and Jan joined the dancers. Every so often there was an insistent tinkling of glasses from the diners demanding the couple kiss. Which they did.

During the intermission, the maitre d' approached the couple and invited them to a table where they were treated to a complementary meal from the Management. Archie chose the filet mignon; Jan, the salmon. After they had eaten, the bride and groom listened and danced to the music for some hours. It was approaching midnight o'clock when they decided to retire. The Hotel refused even a token payment. The guests who were still in the restaurant clapped as Archie and Jan exited the room.

When they arrived back at 206, they sank into one of the comfortable sofas and held hands. Immediately in front of them was a king-sized bed.

"I'm tired," said Archie. "That bed looks inviting. How do you feel?"

"I'm scared," announced Jan!

"Oh, honey, uttered Archie. This is a happy time. Why are you scared? Scared of what?"

"This," replied Jan! "This place, this time, this event. Not you darling; not you! I've been dreading this evening, this time, this place since I woke up. This is all new to me. I'm afraid to answer the question you keep asking!"

"I'm sorry I've frightened you," said Archie. "Which question have I been asking?"

"What do we do now?" She shivered as she spoke the words.

"Honey," he said. "A lot of what I've been saying is fake bravado. I'm scared too. I love you so much. What I want to do, what I've wanted to do since our engagement is build a memory of this evening, one we will cherish and remember all the years of our lives. This is all new to me, too. But, I know that with tenderness, with love, with understanding, all that we're experiencing will be remembered amongst the happiest moments of our lives."

"I'm so happy you said that," she responded. "I love you too. I know now that there is nothing to fear. So, I'll ask you, 'What do we do now?'"

"I have a suggestion," said Archie. "Let's you and I crawl under the sheets of the bed over there -- just as we are. Let's remove our clothing under the covers and throw them to the floor. Then, even though we're both scared, let's stare at each other until we start laughing. I think, at that time, we'll know what to do next."

"Let's," she responded!

Time passed at it inevitably must. The couple sat and planned. Then, it was about one. Archie was in PJs and Jan was in the bathroom changing to more comfortable clothing.

"Archie," she called out, "would you hand me my nightgown. It's on the extra chair in the dining nook." She was holding her hand and arm through a small opening in the doorway.

"Surely, darling," he replied and walked toward the door with it.

She suddenly withdrew her arm. There was a pause. Then,

"Who's Shirley?" she called from the other side of the door.

Puzzled, he responded, "There's no Shirley here."

"You called me Shirley!" she said tartly. "Was that a mistake?"

"Yes," he said. "I didn't mean, Shirley, I meant . . ."

"If you didn't mean Shirley," she interrupted, "who did you mean, Alice, Helen, Trudy?" She spoke angrily.

"No, no," he attempted. "I didn't mean Shirley, I meant surely."

"There you go again! Oh?! You really meant Shirley! This is terrible! And on our wedding night!"

"No, no, these are two different girls! I mean two different names! Two different words! Let me explain!!"

She came out the door laughing. She was wearing a bathrobe. "I was just having fun!"

"You were joking," he sputtered happily, then began laughing.

"Yes, just having some fun," she said as she took her nightgown from his hand. "Here, help me put this on!"

"Surely! I mean, certainly, darling," he said.

11. Love Letters

Time of Current Episode: March 18, 2023

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 29

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 24

Daniel S. Pacer, former sweetheart of Jan

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan talk about a previous marriage of Jan.

Honey, I have the feeling you want to ask me something," said Jan.

"Yes, I do, sweetheart," responded her husband. "Nothing earth-shaking. Would this be a convenient time?"

"Certainly, hon," she responded.

It was a Saturday morning, about seven-thirty. Archie and Jan were still in bed. They were on their backs, naked under the light blue coverlet, their bodies touching. Archie had his right arm around her shoulders.

"Sweetheart," Archie said, "I accidently came across something that's been bothering me. Several letters. I wasn't snooping, just looking for a tie clip."

"I wasn't hiding them," Jan responded softly. "I knew you would see them eventually and ask. There were fourteen."

"Darling, were you married before?"

"No, Dan and I were in love and planning to be married. I was looking forward to the day I would be changing my name from Ms. Jan Robinson Mrs. Daniel Pacer. He died before this could happen. Then I met you. All this was some years before you and I met."

"Dear, you're still in love with him?"

"The simplest answer to that, hon, is yes. I know all this is a jumble to you right now, and you have a lot of questions. Let me tell you a story, and this will answer the many questions you may have."

"Please do," Archie said.

"Dan and I met. We dated and fell in deeply in love. He was a wonderful man. If I had searched for a thousand years, I would not have found a man I could love an iota more. He was in the National Guard and there was an overseas war. He was killed in a place named Mestri. It had been a hidden explosive. All they found was a single dog tag with burn marks on it. It was sent to me by the War Department. He had been in there only fifteen days, and he had sent me a letter every day but one. Today, all I have of him are those letters and a single dog tag."

She continued, "He died on a Monday. The date was July 16. That was the same day I met you for the first time. This date was your first day at the university where I was employed. When Mr. Chandler introduced me to you, he asked if I would show you the ropes." She paused.

"When information came that Dan had been killed, I went to pieces. Then, I returned to work. I remember that!" said Archie. "Right after that, you were gone for a long time. I wondered why, but never asked anyone. It wasn't any of my business."

"You and I met and began seeing each other. Our talks during breaks helped me learn how to begin living again. You told me you had been in the Service yourself, and discharged after you had been wounded. I was surprised at the coincidence. The last letter from Dam arrived after he had died."

"That experience must have been horrible," said Archie. "I can see why you saved the letter."

"I had saved all his letters," Jan said. "While I was grieving, I read and reread them over and over. I memorized the contents of each one. The words in them became engraved on my heart. But I stopped reading them when I realized that I must begin a new life without him!"

"That's when you came back to work!"

"Yes, and you and I began to know each other better. Slowly, I started to understand something that had not been clear to me. Dan had sent you to me!"

Awed, Archie asked, "Do you mean what you're saying literally? Why would you think that?"

"Darling, you're so much like him. You're thoughtful and kind like he was. You stand and move like him, you smile like him, even think as he did. There are times when I could swear you are the reincarnation of Dan! But, though I loved him more than life itself, I have come to love you even more!"

"Dear one," said Archie. "You don't need to tell me more. I understand how you feel about Dan. I never met him in the war, but believe if I had, I would have loved him as much as you do." Suddenly Archie stopped talking and stared into space.

Alarmed, Jan cried out, "Darling, is there something wrong?"

"No, I just thought about something," he responded. "What did you say Dan's last name was?"

"Pacer," she said. "Why?"

"When you were out of work, I received a plain envelope in the mail at home. There was no return address. In it, there was a single Army dog tag wrapped in tissue paper. It had burn marks on it. It had the name Daniel S. Pacer inscribed on its surface. This had to be the second of the pair of dog tags service people wear as identification. It probably matches the one you have!"

"Oh darling," Jan gasped. "His middle name was Samuel. He did send you to me! This was his way of telling both of us this."

"I believe there's more, Jan, dear!" exclaimed Archie. "As we go through life, I feel Dan will always be aware of what we're doing and helping us get over difficult times. Let's keep this forever in mind!"

12. Remembering The Anniversary

Time of Current Episode: October 8, 2023

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 32

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 27

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie almost forgets a wedding anniversary. He's in for a surprise when he arrives to purchase a greeting card.

I should think you'd remember the most important date in our relationship," Jan murmured, tears forming around the edges of her eyes. "You could have, at least, given me a card."

Archie realized how badly he had hurt his wife. True, he wasn't much for ceremony, but he should have known better. It had been less than a year after he met Jan that he realized she was the one for him.

Jan had been promoted to math instructor at Ridgewood College. Archie was still teaching English. Went they had begun dating, he discovered that she was a no-nonsense observer of holidays just as he was. It was a perfect match. So why was she complaining that he had not remembered their third wedding anniversary.

Women are different, he decided. A part of them says one thing but they really want something else. He was going to learn from this experience and not make the same mistake in the future.

But habits are strong. Archie would think about October 8 every so often, but most of the time, the date dwelt in the hinterlands of his brain. As the date drew near for his fourth anniversary, the fact that it wasn't uppermost in his mind worried him. To avoid the horrible blunder of the year before he composed a short computer program that would remind him of the date every day from September 1 until the actual anniversary date. He tested the program to make sure it would work.

On September 1, when Archie started his computer, the screen simulated a brilliant explosion of sun-bright lights which quickly turned to a midnight blackness with stars streaking at the speed of light from the inner cores of galaxies to the outer edges of the universe. This spectacle was repeated several times after which the normal start-up procedure took over. Archie smiled There was no way he would experience this panoply and not remember the anniversary.

Day after day the presentation materialized — September 2, September 3, September 4! The program was working splendidly! On the next day, Archie paid less attention to the message. After all, he knew what it was and what it meant. On the next, he paid even less attention. By the time September 10 arrived, Archie was accepting the display as part of the computer's startup procedure.

Then, it was October 7! A Saturday. At the breakfast table, Jan mentioned that she needed to pick up some things at the supermarket. It was important she do this, she declared. This started a train of thought in Archie's psyche "Why important?" he wondered. The word, important, vibrated like a tuning fork in his being.

Important! Important! Suddenly, he stiffened as if struck by lightening. Tomorrow was indeed important! Tomorrow was October 8! "Fool!" he shouted inwardly to himself. How could he had forgotten the importance of October 8?

He needed to do something, and he needed to do it quick! Otherwise, he was going to be in the kind of deep trouble that only a victim of a woman scorned could know!

Jan had left the house taking the SUV. The only vehicle available was the bicycle. This would work! There was a florist on Sixth Avenue only a couple of blocks away. They sold cards. Archie decided to splurge and purchase a bouquet of flowers as well as a card. He wheeled the bike out of the garage, vaulted to the seat and sped to the shop. Broadly beaming, he stood the bike on its kick stand, hastened to the shop's ornate door and entered. He made his way quickly to the card section.

Where were the anniversary cards? he wondered. Ah, there was the sign! The place was packed. Customers blocked his path. No matter, he bulldozed his way through and began perusing the cards. It was important he select an appropriate one!

Something made him turn toward the figure standing next to him. His eyes met those of the other person. They were familiar and so was the face! "Jan!?" he managed to stammer, as she gasped in like manner, "Archie!?"

13. Be My Wife for a Day

Time of Current Episode: November 7, 2023

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 32

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 27

Walter Watkins, An Old Friend of Jan

Jerome Morgan, Walter's Supervisor

Harold Miller, Sleazebag

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan is asked to pretend being the wife of Walter Watkins for a day. She reluctantly agrees.

W

ill you be my wife for a day, Jan," Walter Watkins asked?

"What kind of stupid question is that," Jan responded with a tone engraved with a measure of anger? "You know I'm married! You know I love Archie! Have you suddenly lost your mind? And your sense of decorum?"

"Oh, Jan," he hastened. "I didn't mean to upset you! It's not what it sounds like! Let me explain!"

"This had better be good," she responded!

"The company I work for has a policy of recognizing people. Somehow, it became my turn. Mr. Morgan, my supervisor, told me today I was being honored tomorrow as being, Husband of the Month. I'm not married, as you know, but I don't want to miss out on this. There may be some sort of prejudice to men who are not married, and it may hurt my opportunities for advancement if I admit that I'm not married. What I'm asking you to do is pretend to be my wife for only the time I'm being celebrated. It would be a sort of playacting for you, and it may even be fun."

"How couldn't they know you're not married," Jan asked? "Surely, your personnel record shows it."

"Lee Thorne, the person who makes these honorary assignments, is not known for having a full set of brain cells in his head. He makes a lot of mistakes like this, but he is the owner's son-in-law."

"But, why me? Aren't there a lot of women you could call upon for the same thing?"

"They'd say, no, Jan. You and me, we've known each other since childhood. You probably understand me as well as you do your husband. You know that I have no ulterior reason for asking this. And, I don't think Archie would mind."

"Archie likes you, Walt. You may be right on that point. But there may be someone there who will recognize me, and realize I'm faking."

"You could use your brunette wig," suggested Walter. "It will change your appearance dramatically!"

"I know I shouldn't do it!"

"Please!"

"All right," said Jan, "but you'll owe me one!"

"Probably more than one! You know where the company is located. The proceedings will be in the main conference room. Dress beautiful!"

"What time, Walt?"

"Noontime, Jan."

"See you!" They hung up.

There were already a dozen people in the conference room when Walter, accompanied by Jan, entered the room. There was a round of applause.

Jan was wearing a white lace dress that could have substituted for a wedding gown. Today, rather than her hair being luminous blond, it was coal black. All eyes were turned toward her.

A middle-aged man, excessively round at the stomach, short of stature, balding, rushed to greet them. "Hello Walter, welcome! We'll be starting the festivities as soon as a few more people arrive!"

Walter turned to Jan and said, "this is Mr. Jerome Morgan, my supervisor." Then facing him, he introduced Jan with, "Mr. Morgan, this is . . ., uh, this is Jan, my wife!"

Mr. Morgan smiled broadly. "I knew Walter had good judgment," he commented, "but I didn't know exactly how good. If he will allow me to say so, you are an extraordinarily beautiful woman, Mrs. Watkins!"

"That's very nice of you to say that, Mr. Morgan," Jan said. "Walter has often spoken about you, all good!"

"I can't get over how lovely, you are," Mr. Morgan muttered.

"Just ordinary, nothing special," she responded.

"I'm sure we'll be seeing a great deal more of you as time goes on," he stated. "My wife, Marjorie, and I will probably be inviting you to dinner at our home from time to time."

Jan was not able to hide a slight look of dismay as she heard those words. Inwardly, she was beginning to wonder how long this charade was going to last.

The room filled. Soon there were about thirty people in attendance. Mr. Morgan stood behind a podium, and spoke loudly. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we honor Walter Watkins as Husband of the Month. I'm sure, if I had been more alert as to the loveliness of his wife, I would have given her the title of Lovely Wife of the Month!" He paused. There was great applause.

Walter's countenance took on an appearance of confusion, as did Jan's. He had not expected this turn of events.

After the ceremonies had been completed, Walter was given the rest of the day off, and he took Jan to her home.

"What do you think about what Mr. Morgan said," Jan asked when they arrived at her home and parked?

"Obviously, he became instantly infatuated with you," Walter responded!

"I saw Harold Miller in the crowd," she said. "He may have recognized me!"

"Hope not! He's the epitome of a sleaze bag!"

"I'll be going in now," said Jan. "This better be the end of my acting career. I'm going to tell Archie everything went fine. But, my conscience will not allow me to sugar-coat it."

"I'm sure everything will be OK," observed Walter. "Any invitations for dinner from Mr. Morgan will be made to my phone. If it happens I'll make plausible excuses."

The next day was a Saturday, and the beginning of the weekend. On Monday, at work, Mr. Morgan approached Walter and said, "I talked to Marjorie. We'd love to have you and your wife over for dinner Wednesday evening. Will you be able to make it?"

"Jan will not be home during the rest of the day," Walter replied. "I'll ask her this evening."

"Fine! Fine!" Mr. Morgan said.

That evening, after work, when Walter arrived at his apartment, Jan and Archie were waiting for him at the door.

"Walter, we need to talk," Archie said. "Shall we go inside."

"By all means," said Walter. "I think I know what you want to talk about."

The three individuals had barely sat in the living room, when the phone rang. Walter picked up, listened for a moment, then handed the phone to Jan, saying, "Mr. Morgan wants to speak to you."

Jan took the receiver from Walter's hand with a bewildered look on her face. "Hello," she said. She listened for a long time. Finally, she exclaimed, "Mr. Morgan, I'm very honored to have you say those things. What you are offering is generous and overwhelming, but I do love my husband very much. What you believe you saw is not accurate. My husband and I are not on the verge of anything. As a matter of fact, Walter is not my husband at all. He is not even married. What you saw between him and me was pure pretense. I don't know how this will affect his career with you, but, for my part, what you are saying is very flattering, but I cannot accept any of it. I apologize for my role in having deceived you, and ask your forgiveness. Please don't call again! Goodbye." She hung up.

The three in the room were silent as they stared at each other.

The phone rang. Walter answered. He handed the headset to Jan. "It's Harold Miller. He wants to talk to you!"

"Hello Harold," Jan spoke apprehensively. She listened for a while, then said, "I hate to interrupt you, Harold. Yes, it was me hiding behind that wig. No, Archie and I are not having problems. I'm not married to Walter. It was all an act, like in a bad play!"

She listened again. Her face turned pink, then a blazing red. "You want what for a day? I will not do that," she yelled. "How dare you suggest it!" The crackling of the voice on the other end of the line could be heard in the room.

"Stop hollering, Harold," she demanded!

There were more cracking sounds.

"Harold, you listen, Jan shouted! And listen good! The answer to your insulting proposition is no! No! A thousand times no!" She slammed the receiver down hard.

She turned to Walter and quietly said, "I love you like a brother, Walt, but I should have said no to you, too! This problem was all my fault! I should have known better!" To her husband, she said, "Archie, dear darling, I'm sorry to have imposed this mess on you. You didn't deserve any of it! Sweetheart, Let's go home!"

14. I Don't Want to be Married Anymore!

Time of Current Episode: July 31, 2025

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 34

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, Age 29, 1996,

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan tells Archie, she doesn't want to be married any more and moves out. She has brief fling with Philip Marshall.

D

ear, I don't want to be married anymore!"

Archie and Jan had just finished a luscious breakfast of blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup and fresh strawberries on the side. Seated in the breakfast nook of their new suburban home, they were sipping their second cup of coffee. It was a warm July morning. Archie was still in pajamas and Jan, in a thin, filmy nightgown.

Archie laughed, and leaned back in his chair. "Funny!" he exclaimed.

"I mean it!" she stated unemotionally.

Realizing that his wife was serious, stunned, Archie fell silent. "What are you saying," he finally muttered? "You can't mean this!"

"I'm tired of being married," Jan said. "It has nothing to do with you. There is no one else. I don't know — there may be something wrong with me. I'm tired of being married. I want out of our marriage!"

"You've never said there was anything wrong," objected Archie. "We've been married two years, and, for me, it's been wonderful. We've even been talking about having a baby. What has gone wrong so unexpectedly?"

"It suddenly came to me, only a few days ago," she replied. "It's like what that old song says, 'the thrill is gone,' but not for the reason it gives. You've been a good man to me. I have no complaints."

"Then what's caused you to say you don't want to be married anymore? What thrill are you talking about, honey," he asked. "We had a lovely courtship, a happy engagement, a beautiful wedding and honeymoon. I don't understand! Every day is a thrill day for me. I love our marriage! I love you! The thrill of being with you continues in me every moment of every day!"

"It's the thrill I once had of meeting someone new," she said, "It's the early dating, the wondering how the other person feels about me, savoring the first kiss, feeling the electricity with the touch of our fingertips, the clasping together of our hands, the hugs, the dinners out, the movies, the Broadway plays, all those things that lead to my first strong sexual feelings. These things happened and will not happen again. This is what I mean when I say, 'the thrill is gone.'"

"I had those feeling too," replied Archie. "With us that period was called courting. Then I began thinking of marriage. Didn't you?"

"Yes," she responded. "There was the wondering of when you would pop the question. Would it be romantic? Would you get on one knee? Would you hand me a ring? So much more!"

"That was our engagement period," said Archie. "An engagement is supposed to happen only once. It has all the fireworks of the courting period, but with even more intensity. That's when a loving couple truly gets to know each other!"

"But all this happens only once," Jan commented! "Then the marriage begins, with all its problems of a couple getting used to each other, finding a place to live, and all the rest. Eventually, humdrum begins. All that remains of the other exciting experiences, become no more than memories."

"The thrills of meeting someone, and beginning to know him or her, are indeed memorable," Archie said, "but true happiness that comes with marrying the right person begins the day after the honeymoon. There is nothing humdrum with a loving marriage. There is a deep relationship that only grows stronger with the years, and continues even after the death of one of the parties. Children, and even grandchildren, add to this depth. I know I sound like some prehistoric creature by saying these words, but this is what I learned as a child from my parents, and that belief has never left me. I ask you, no, I beg you to reconsider what you have said. Don't break up our marriage!"

"I'm compelled to do so," she responded.

"Compelled? Why?"

"So that I can renew again and again the experiences that go with meeting someone, of dating, and of becoming engaged."

"And . . . "

"There is no and. I don't want to be married anymore! I simply want to repeat the whole cycle; sort of like watching a great movie again, listening to a lovely melody, or . . ."

"Jan! That's nutty," exploded Archie! "It doesn't work that way! In life, there is a time for everything! There's a time for dating, a time for courting, and a time for being engaged. After the engagement, there is marriage. And marriage is forever. Life is not like being on a merry-go-round in a carnival! What you're suggesting is not a model for a life well lived!"

Jan continued as if she had heard not a word. "Later today," she said, "I'll be seeing a lawyer that Elaine told me about. I will be moving in with her, until the divorce is complete. I wish you the best, but the best that you can give me, is not good enough. I must find a new road upon which to travel."

Some weeks later, Jan Pendleton, having resumed her maiden name, met Philip Marshall. She told him that she was twenty-three though her real age was twenty-nine, and that she was unmarried. Philip, said he was twenty-seven, a recent divorcé, and a college graduate. He was taller than she by several inches, slim, dark-haired, and handsome.

"I'm wealthy," he had told her. "I own a horse ranch in Colorado that brings in more money than I'm able to count. But, I'm lonely. I'm looking for someone with whom I can build an exciting and joyful life. With the right person, the gates of Heaven will open for us well before the both of us shall depart this earth."

Following their meeting, there were the thrills that came from long looks into each others eyes, phone calls lasting long into the morning hours, exciting breakfasts at diners, elegant dinners at fancy restaurants, and bouquets of roses received every few days. Jan fell in love with Philip, heart, mind, and soul. She began to think that her thoughts about repeating thrilling experiences may have been wrong.

She thought about what Archie had said concerning a deep and loving marriage that would last throughout life. Surely this man could provide it for her where Archie had not been able to. With Philip, her life would be replete with everlasting thrills. With him, the abundance of thrills would never be exhausted!

The second month's anniversary of their meeting was to be very special, they decided. They were to take a three day holiday in Manhattan, stay at the best hotel they could find, dine at the finest restaurants, and enjoy, at least, one Broadway play. Jan felt like a princess. She knew this was the life that she had been born to live!

Arriving in New York, they registered at the Bryant Park Hotel as Mr. and Mrs. Philip Marshall. "This is only a formality," he said to her. "We can save a little money this way. There will be twin beds in the room, and we'll stay in pajamas while we sleep. We will wait to validate our love as circumstances warrant." She thought this arrangement was fair enough.

Jan had planned to be as beautiful during this holiday as modern beauticians could conjure up their magic. At Philips's expense, she had purchased an elegant golden gown, had had her hair and nails done to the peak of their beauty, and had purchased a pearl necklace with matching earrings. She could have spent an additional amount of Philip's money on sexy under things if she had wanted to do so, but had decided there was no sense to it, since no one would be viewing them except her. One thing was for sure: she was going to be the most beautiful woman at the hotel that evening.

Immediately after having registered, they had a light dinner at Luigi's, and finished eating just in time to be on Broadway to view the play, A Bronx Tale.

Jan was tired when they returned to the hotel and ready for bed. Philip said he was also tired. In turn, each of them changed into their pajamas in the bathroom. After some good-natured joshing about the appearance of the other, Jan slipped under the covers of one bed, while Philip did the same with the other. They turned off the lights.

Jan fell asleep almost immediately; however, suddenly, she discovered a naked intruder had joined her under the covers and was attempting to touch her in forbidden areas. This was not part of the bargain, she thought. She needed to find a graceful departure from the plans that Philip had in mind. "Oh, Philip," she exclaimed. "Before I can go further with this, you need to fulfill a fetish I hoped some day I would reveal to you!"

"Anything! Anything at all," he said breathing heavily. "What is it?"

"At times like these," she whispered, "only strawberries can transform me from the calm, sedate woman that I basically am, into a fierce, unruly, sexual tiger. I must devour frozen strawberries from your chest!"

"Strawberries!" He blurted. "Where am I going to find frozen strawberries in Manhattan at this time of night?"

"I'm so sorry darling," she replied. "We had planned to wait to validate our love until a later time. I would have told you about this sooner had I known you wouldn't be able to control yourself. Only frozen strawberries will work, my dear. By consuming them from your chest, my ardor for love-making will grow to a ferocious peak. Without, them, the coldness of my response will turn you into an ice cube."

"All right, all right," he exclaimed. "You've convinced me! Wait here!"

Jan averted her eyes as Philip leapt out of bed, picked up his pajamas from the floor and dashed into the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, he came out looking somewhat disheveled, but energetic, and shouted, "I'll be back as soon as I can!"

After he had left the room, Jan stepped to the floor, walked to where she had neatly stacked her clothing, and changed back into the elegant gown she had worn to the theater. She picked up the receiver of the hotel phone on bedside table, and pressed the button labeled "Desk".

"Concierge!" A sleepy male's voice announced at the other end. "Please get me a taxi that will take me to the nearest bus station," she said. "My husband is staying here. He'll pay the bill." She placed the necklace and earrings that she had purchased on the table, then exited the room.

As she rode the eighty miles back to Elaine's home, gone from her mind were all thoughts of missing thrills, living a humdrum life, and the other things she had complained about to Archie. All she wanted to do was go back to the comfort of the loving marriage she realized she had had with him.

"Elaine," she asked her friend when the latter had opened the door and let her it, "Do you suppose Archie will take me back? I just had a horrific experience that I would like to erase from my mind as soon as I can."

"I don't know, Jan," Elaine responded. "He was all broken up about this when it happened, but he seems to have recovered some. He told me he felt your views about life, love, and marriage were rather shallow. Here, call him up," she said, and proffered her cell phone.

"I'm scared," Jan admitted.

"Do it! This way you'll know."

Jan took the phone and tapped out Archie's number. "Hello Archie," she ventured.

"Oh, Jan," Archie exclaimed excitedly. "I'm so glad you called. It looks like you were right about thrills. I was sounding old-fashioned! But, I'm glad you've been going with someone more your style. I'm sincerely happy for you!"

"It didn't work out! I'd like to come home, Archie," she muttered. "Tonight!"

There was a long silence. For a few horrible minutes, Jan imagined him saying, "I have found someone who agrees with me that marriage is a forever thing! We've been dating, and have, just now, gotten engaged! Congratulate us! We're so thrilled!"

Instead, he said, "Nothing has changed, Jan dear! I've missed you enormously and love you more than ever! Come home as soon as you can. You'll be welcomed with open arms!"

15. No Valentines this Year!

Time of this Episode: January 22, 2026

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 34

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 29

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan suggests the couple does not send each other valentines this year. She would prefer each of them to express their love in a more personal way. She suggests they write poems to each other.

L

et's not send each other Valentine Cards this year!" Jan said.

"No Valentine Cards?" The bite of pancake had almost reached Archie's lips but it never got there. "Jan, that's what we've done for five or more years since we met! Archie objected. That's what lovers do!"

Jan smiled. "I knew my remark would startle you! I'd like to suggest we do something even better!"

It was early on a Saturday morning. Jan and Archie were enjoying a leisurely meal in their breakfast nook. They had been married a little over five years. It was late January.

"What could be better to express our love than a Valentine Card?" Archie asked.

"Valentine cards are written by people who don't know you and me," Jan said. "You're good with words, and you've said you think I am. Let us tell each other how we feel in writing! Let's make it something more personal!"

"I like the idea," commented Archie. "But surely, you don't want me to send you an email!"

"No, not an email. Not a letter. A poem!"

"Wow," exclaimed Archie. "You have a lot of faith in me. I don't write poems. I write manuals for smart phones!"

"And you probably could do the same for tractors," laughed Jan. "I'm not suggesting we become Mr. and Mrs. Shakespeare. Write what's in your heart. Tell me in your own words. If what you write rhymes, that would be fine, but it doesn't have to. And I'll do the same for you!"

"I'm excited! Let's do it!" said Archie.

Both found the task more difficult than they had anticipated. But each accomplished their objective. With some trepidation, they met at the same table on February 14. The couple had spread a tablecloth on the kitchen table. The ingredients for pancakes were on the range ready to be cooked for a Valentine's Day celebration. Archie was elected to read his poem first. The following is what he read:

Greatly In Love With You!

I've searched my mind

for just the right words

to tell you how great

is my love for you.

But the phrases I crave

have often been said

by a great many lovers

before.

I wish I could say

that I've told every star

how utterly lovely

and gracious you are.

I've tried Mr. Webster

who offers no hint

of any new words

that I can use.

And I've searched

in Roget and found

that he has no solutions,

whatever, at all.

I'll just have to use

the most simple of words,

the most common of words

that I know.

Sweetheart, my dear,

I want you to know,

that all I can say is that

I'm greatly in love with you!

"That's so beautiful," Jan said. "I don't know if I can read my poem for you without bursting into tears."

The following is what she had written:

My Dear, It Was You!

My dear, for the times I was blue,

when you might have been too,

but you spoke to me words

of support and of hope,

I'm so grateful to you.

When I needed someone

to share the pains caused by failing

or the joys of achievement,

I knew it was true, I could call upon you.

For the days when we walked through a park,

and the nights when we dined for a time,

then sat in the dark and gazed at the stars

as they passed in review,

I exult with the joy that all this was done,

all this was done with the presence of you.

When I needed your touch and felt your hand on my arm

and thrilled to the feel of your heart next to mine,

I was thrilled with the knowledge

that the person who touched me

and tenderly kissed me, was you.

Though I'm inept at revealing the thoughts of my heart,

I want you to know there was someone who came

to become an essential part of my life.

My dear, it was you!

Archie rose from his chair, walked to where she was sitting, and kissed her.

"I love you very, very much, my darling, Jan," he said. "Happy Valentine's Day!"

16. Terrible, But I Loved It!

Time of Current Episode: August 12, 2027

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 36

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 31,

Blonde, Not currently employed

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie decides to do something special for Jan. He writes a poem.

Archie and Jan had been married for over six years. It needs to be said that the marriage had been, and was, a happy one! Archie was an ideal husband. Not only did he love Jan deeply but he cared for her greatly. So, to a casual observer, it would not have been a surprise when he woke one day with an idea firmly ingrained in his mind. On this day, he must do something special for the love of his life! No, it wasn't Valentine's Day; it wasn't her birthday; it was not an anniversary. It was just an ordinary day, a Saturday, but nothing special about this Saturday! Except for the resolve that he was going to do something special for his wife!

The fact that this was just an ordinary day, made it all the more important that a something special was needed. When a husband does something special for his wife, it needs to be on an ordinary day, he thought; otherwise, there would be nothing special about something special being done on a special day! He marveled at the logic of this thought.

Jan would be visiting her sister on this day. He had several hours during which the something special that he wanted to do could be done. But, what could he do today that would make the day special for Jan?

Sitting at the computer in the den, he made a list. It had eight entries. From top to bottom, he rejected all the entries on the list except the last one. This was to write a poem for his wife. There was no time to be lost!

He finished just in time. The time that had been available for the poem had been just enough. When he heard Jan's car arriving home, he printed what he had done. He signed his name at the bottom of the sheet, folded it, and placed it in an envelope. There was no need to seal it; he tucked the flap inside, and placed the envelope on the keyboard of Jan's computer which was located a short distance from his.

Jan walked into the room. She smiled happily when seeing Archie. She bent her head to where he was sitting and kissed him warmly on the lips. She turned to her computer and, spotting the envelope, picked it up. She withdrew the sheet inside. While still standing, she read what Archie had written.

This was the poem she read:

Jan, My Darling

I wanted to do something special for you,

So thought of a card I might send,

But no card that would come to my view,

Could convey the thoughts I meant to extend.

I thought of making you breakfast in bed,

Maybe waffles or something else pleasing you,

But I'm not much of a cook as you know,

And anything I'd make would taste like a shoe.

It could be candy or flowers,

But what kinds could they possibly be?

If I brought you something you disliked,,

Wouldn't be something

you'd be happy to see.

I could buy you a gift of surprise,

But would you be happy with the thing that I gave?

I might think that a coat might please you

When perfume what you actually craved.

Maybe dinner out would have been good,

Or dancing all night at a club.

I might take you at a place to twirl,

When you had wanted to go to a pub.

A romantic week at a major hotel

With champagne and service galore!

Or a place in the mountains

When you wanted a cruise near the shore.

Lingerie might be nice I suppose,

And I know I'd enjoy giving it too,

But showing up at a shop to buy it,

Would be something I just couldn't do!

There's only one thing I might try

A poem of love that I write.

It'd be full of words of love and devotion

That would possibly your heart excite!

So, here it is with great love! Archie.

Looking on, he waited until she had finished, then expectantly asked, "What do you think of my poem my dear Jan, darling?"

"It's terrible!" she exclaimed smiling, "but I love it! Here is my poetic reply from the top of my head:"

"Sweetheart, I love you so much.

What more could I possibly say?

The only words that fit at this time are,

You've certainly made my day!"

17. The Mysterious Cup

Time of Current Episode: April 28, 2028

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 36

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 31

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan purchases a cup that seems to have magical powers! She and Archie don't know quite how to deal with this item. They finally make a decision.

Jan had gone to a rummage sale at the Cult Club in downtown Graystone. Inside, she had walked up and down the aisles looking for something interesting to purchase. She came upon a simple pale blue cup — almost the size of a small bowl, that looked like it might serve well for soup. But the price on the tag was too high. The club wanted five dollars for it. She was willing to pay a single dollar, and wondered why the price seemed exorbitant. She called one of the workers to come see what she was interested in. An older man, of approximately eighty-five, came forward, smiled, and genially asked, "What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"This cup is worth maybe a dollar," Jan said. "Why are you asking so much?" The man took it from her hand and examined it. "Oh, I didn't know we were selling this. It's not for sale! I'm so sorry, ma'am!"

"It's being displayed here, and I'm interested. I want to buy it!"

"We should not have put it up for sale" said the man. "Someone made a mistake. It has special qualities that we don't want to lose."

"You can't keep it from me," Jan said angrily. "It's being offered at a price of five dollars and I'll pay that!"

"I'm sorry, it's not for sale, ma'am!"

"It is for sale and it's mine!" Jan said. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a crumpled five dollar bill. "Here's your money!"

The elderly man did not respond. He handed the cup to Jan. "Good luck," he muttered! "He could have been faking about being unhappy to sell the cup," she thought, "but it certainly looked genuine!"

At home, Archie, was having some left-over coffee at the breakfast table. "Look what I bought," said Jan excitedly. "This cup has special qualities, but I don't know what they are." She handed it to her husband.

"Well, it's a just right for soup large, and, I think, it could be used it for coffee," he said. "I don't see any special qualities. What's so special about this cup?"

"I don't know," she responded. "That's what the seller said, and I was not able to have him reduce the price. I paid five dollars for it."

"Let me be the first to try it," said Archie. He reached to the nearby counter where a coffee maker was located and picked up the carafe which had not been totally emptied. He poured all of the remaining contents into the cup which filled it halfway. As he was about to take a first sip, he exclaimed, "Whoa, what's this?"

"What's what?" asked Jan.

"There's a picture inside at the bottom. This is amazing! The picture shows you, sitting at this table, having breakfast. There's a bowl in front of you, a box of cornflakes next to it, and a small carton of milk. You have a spoon in your hand."

"You're joking," laughed Jan!

"No, look!"

Jan looked and saw exactly what Archie had described. "This is impossible," she said. "I didn't tell the man who sold me this thing, who I was, where I lived, or anything! How could this cup show a picture of me?"

"I'll empty it," said Archie. He rose from the table, went to the sink, and dumped the coffee. He came back with a puzzled look on his face. "The image is still there," he muttered. "I don't understand this."

Jan washed and dried the cup. The picture was a little lighter but still visible at the bottom. She placed the cup on the drain board. "I think it was some sort of trick photography," she murmured. "I'm not going to worry about it."

The mysterious cup was forgotten for the rest of the evening.

The next morning when Jan got up, Archie had already risen and was in the living room reading the paper. Jan thought about the strange cup and took it from the drain board. She glanced inside. The picture that she and Archie had seen the previous day was gone.

Reassured, this was not a trick cup of any kind, she prepared her breakfast. Breakfast that morning consisted of a bowl of cornflakes and a cup of milk. She used the cup she had purchased the day before for the milk. Later, she realized that, at some point, while she was having breakfast, she had produced a real-life image of herself doing exactly this! The cup had predicted this image the night before! She looked inside the cup. There was no picture! She felt greatly relieved. To see a picture there would have greatly distressed her.

That evening, the couple was sitting in the living room watching TV. Suddenly, Archie rose from his seat, and, acting on a hunch, walked rapidly to the kitchen. He came back with the mysterious cup in his hand. He handed it to Jan and said, "look!"

Jan glanced inside, and gasped. There was a new picture there. It showed her, stirring the contents of a pot at the kitchen range. "This thing seems to be telling us what's going to happen the next day," he uttered slightly above a whisper. "I think it's showing what you will be doing at some time tomorrow. I need to know whether what it's showing is inevitable. Please, do not go anywhere near that range tomorrow. I'll do the cooking."

Jan agreed to Archie's bizarre request.

On the following day, Jan did, indeed, stay away from the range. That is, except for one brief moment, when, without thinking, she went to stir the pot containing stew Archie was cooking. Too late, she realized that she shouldn't have done that. She understood that, because of her inadvertent action, they did not know more about this cup did than they had the day before.

That evening, they were in the kitchen. With some trepidation, they looked inside the mystery item that they now referred to as the thing. They were horrified. There was a picture inside that showed Jan lying on the floor in the kitchen! She was lying in a pool of blood!

"This is awful," said Archie with a voice laced with terror. "This must not happen! It seems to be indicating that you will suffer some sort of accident," he said to Jan in a frightened tone.

"This thing must not have its way. We have to defeat it," responded Jan!

Archie stared at the picture. "This is interesting," he said. "In the picture, you're wearing a watch." He went to the den and picked up a small magnifying glass on the computer desk. He brought it back and examined the image in the cup with the glass. "In the picture, it's 7:30," he said. "I know something we can try."

"Tell me!" she said.

Jan said, "You saw a time of 7:30. Suppose the prediction was for the other 7:30?"

Archie had not thought of that! "Let me think for a minute," he said. "What we can do is stop the watch my pulling the crown out. That way, it will be 7:30 all the time. We can restart the watch after 7:30 has passed both times!"

Jan said, "Why restart the watch at all? If tomorrow passes without 7:30 ever showing on the watch, then the cup's prediction can't happen! It can't ever happen!"

"Yes," said Archie. "Let's stop the watch and throw it away! It's a Timex! You can buy a new one!"

"I hate to do this," Jan joked. "Remember the slogan, 'takes a licking, but keeps on ticking?' This time, the watch will never tick again. Makes me a little sad."

"Better sad than sorry," quipped Archie. "OK, that's our plan."

"The color of the dress in the picture is red," said Jan. "How can we make fake blood?"

"Do you have some red dye in the laundry room," Archie asked? "I think I saw some."

"Yes, I'm glad you noticed that. We can mix a batch of the stuff. It actually be making ordinary red-dyed water."

"And you know what we'll need to do next!"

"Yes, just before 7:30 p.m., we'll spill a quantity of that mixture on the floor and I'll lie in it for a while!"

"Yes, but for only a few minutes. At 7:32, we'll resume our normal activities."

"You like red," Jan said. "After this ordeal is over, I'll have, at least, one dress you'll like!"

"Funny!" laughed Archie.

The next day, they executed their plan. At around 720, they spilled the bogus blood on the floor of the kitchen and Jan lay in its cold wetness. After 730 had passed, Jan got up from the floor and went to take a shower. Archie's stopped the watch and threw it in the trash bin.

"I think we have, fooled it! said Archie at a later time,"

"I just happened to think of something," said Jan. "Maybe that thing has been playing a joke on us, and we fell for it!"

"I'm not sure of what you mean." Archie replied.

"I think the cup was just trying to scare us! And we fell for it!"

"I believe we may have become that cup's prisoner!" said Archie. "We may need to smash it to bits!"

"No," Jan suggested. Jan. "We don't know what might happen. Let's put it away and never look at it again. This way, we'll just let it do it's thing, and whatever it is, we'll live with it!

"Great idea! Agreed Archie. They put the mysterious cup in a bottom bedroom drawer and never looked at it again. They even forgot they had ever had a cup as weird as this one!

18. A Tinkling Piano in the Next Apartment

Time of Current Episode: September 1, 2030.

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 39

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 34

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of This Episode:

There has been a tiff. Archie and Jan have temporarily separated. Archie is devastated. He wants her back desperately.

A lot of men are pretty stupid about marriage. They seem to think that all there is to marriage is saying "I do" at the wedding ceremony, then enjoying the benefits of marriage forever. Archie would often state he could testify from actual experience that it just doesn't work that way!

He taught at a college, but if someone asked him to write a marriage manual, he would have had to turn in 350 empty pages. Jan would complain about being taken for granted, not having anyone to talk to, being forgotten on her birthday, and much more. When she complained, Archie would wait patiently until she had finished, then glance at the clock to see how much he had missed of the football game!

Somehow, Jan put up with all of this for a while but there was worse to come. Archie succumbed to competitive pressures at the school and began arriving home long after he should have. Weekends were often spent at the campus or working at home. He became an insufferable bore at home having lost all interest in anything but course work. Jan had once admired his ability to pull humorous remarks from random events. Now, she would say, he had about as much sense of humor as a hippopotamus at the zoo.

It should have been no surprise when he got a letter from her lawyer. The bottom line was that he and she needed to divide their pitifully small accumulation of assets, to initiate a trial separation and go their own ways for a period of time. By a court order, Archie was forced to leave their apartment and begin living alone. He found this experience extremely unpleasant, especially because all his life, he had been used to having his own way. For the first time, the events that had transpired had not been fully under his control. Thankfully, there were no children to complicate things.

After he and Jan had separated, he lost interest in everything. Archie hit bottom when he was put on temporary suspension from his job pending improvement in performance. For months he lived in the single room of his apartment and brooded. The only time he spent outdoors was for halfhearted job seeking. Much as he hated to do so, he finally decided it was he who had been at fault with the problems in his marriage. He had been too selfish, too insensitive, too addicted to getting ahead. Impulsively, he reached for the phone book, selected a number from the Yellow Pages, and made a call. The woman at the other end asked him questions during a fifteen-minute conversation, then arranged to begin a personal six-session course of marriage counseling. This was to begin on Monday the following week.

After his third session, a voice spoke to him in a dream as clearly as if it had been enunciated from the school auditorium. "Archie Wilcox, you have dissipated one third of your life accomplishing nothing! You have wasted, not only your own time, but also the time of those close to you. Begin taking responsibility for others besides yourself!" He awoke with a start.

He did not go job-seeking the next day. He felt there had been a call for him to do something additional to restore is marriage than simply attend an evening course. He had to do more, but what! He resolved to find out! He dressed quickly and left the apartment, then began walking in a direction that, he quickly realized, was not under his control. Something or someone was guiding his footsteps. He walked down Broadway Hill, past Ashley Park. When he reached the intersection of Chancellor and Sixth, he made a right onto North Helderberg. It was a warm day and he was perspiring heavily. He found a bench and sat on it until he was refreshed, then resumed walking. Under some unknown control, Archie made his way toward the part of town called Greenport.

Presently, he found himself on Main Street. How had he arrived here? He knew his walk had not been completely random. Another force had been firmly in control. There were two and three story houses on this street. They had wrought iron railings on stoops at the front or sides of the homes. Painted white, the houses looked the same, like keys on a piano.

He moved slowly along these residences. He glanced at the house numbers and saw they had begun with 2, increasing by 2 from house to house. He walked past 14 and began humming the strains from These Foolish Things Remind Me Of You. This song had been a favorite of Jan's. He had learned the music and words were by Harry Link, Holt Marvell, and Jack Strachy. He mumbled the words of the song softly under his breath, a cigarette that bears a lipstick's traces. Those words made no sense he decided. Jan didn't smoke. The words needed to be something like a lacy thing that wears her perfume's graces. They would be more in keeping with Jan's description.

A little farther, an airline ticket to romantic places came to his mind. That was OK. They had been there!

Still farther, Oh how the thought of you clings! These foolish things remind me of you. Unexpectedly, he felt an errant tear rolling down his cheek. More slowly, he continued walking.

A thunderstorm at night with lightning flashes. The splatter on the roof from raindrop splashes. These words were not in the song. This event had actually happened during the night of his dream.

The apartment buildings began looking familiar. Archie and Jan had lived in one of these but he couldn't remember which!

A tinkling piano in the next apartment. The stumbling words that told you what my heart meant.

Jan had loved picking out tunes on a piano keyboard.

Now he heard actual piano music! Through an open window there came the sound of someone playing the notes of the very same song he was humming! Archie had no control over what he did next. He went to the door of the house from which the sounds were coming and rang the bell. The door opened and he was stunned to see Jan standing there.

"Archie?" She exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?" Her countenance was expressionless.

"I'm not sure," He responded. Then, a thought struck him and he couldn't keep it from leaping out. "Now that I am here," he said, "I needed to find out something."

She gazed at him quizzically, "Yes?"

"As I walked here, I was humming your favorite song, and I actually heard a piano tinkling!"

"So?"

"I had to ring the bell to find out exactly how a piano tinkles!"

She stared at him, her somber mood frozen in place. Gradually, the outer edges of her mouth softened and turned slightly upward. Suddenly, she began to laugh! "Sit down, dear" she said. "We need to discuss some things, and make some important decisions!"

## **1 9.** Let's Try Again!

Time of Current Episode: November 30, 2032

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 41

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 36

Millie, child born to Archie and Jan on August 18, 2031

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

A child had been born to Archie and Jan on August 18, 2031. She had been named Mildred, in honor of Archie's mother, but they called her Millie for short. She was a little over one year old.

A1ny visitors from Mars, should they care to visit, would have been able to discern in an instant that Archie and Jan were very much in love. In the past, they had dated for several months and everything had gone well. Then, they had married on October 8, 2020.

On November 30, 2032, the couple had had a bitter argument concerning whether Jan should start a business working at home. Neither Archie nor Jan could give a concise explanation as to why the disagreement had escalated to the point where Archie had needed to leave the apartment and take refuge at the YMCA. If the visitors from that distant planet should look in on him, they'd see a miserable person providing the perfect definition for moping around. Looking in on Jan, they'd see a similar scene.

Archie had heard that all problems have a solution and believed it. He had accrued some vacation time with his employer. He phoned requesting some time off and apologized for the late notice. This was granted. He undertook a period of meditation. Then, following a dictate from his heart, he texted Jan:

"There was a time you held my hand and smiled at me so tenderly. Our love was young. 'Twas meant to be."

A response from Jan was instantaneous, "You used to laugh, a happy laugh, and joke with me so heartily. It was then when cares were few. We shared our lives so easily."

Archie responded, "You laid you head upon my chest, and sighed with me, so sleepily. That was then when love was new. The future shone brightly for you and me."

She replied, "I used to fold within your arms, and flirt with you so teasingly. That was then, when hopes were high. We shared our dreams so happily."

He said, "There was a time you bared your heart and gave it to me so lovingly. That was when we had nourished our love again and again. Could we now resolve never again?"

Her response was simple, "No, not never again. Let's try again!"

For Archie, this day of reflection had turned to a day of rebirth. If visitors from Mars had been observing, they would have witnessed a loving reunion on the same date that these messages had been exchanged.

20. Devotion

Time of Current Episode: November, 2034

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 43

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 38

Wilma, A close friend of Jan's

Helen Hilbert, A Psychologist

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie has been unfaithful to Jan. It was his fault and he is remorseful. Jan needs to decide what to do and talks to Wilma, then sees Helen Hilbert. They give advice. Jan makes a decision.

They were just finishing their Macaroni and Cheese. It had been delicious, as usual. Jan had prepared it the way Archie liked it. She and Archie ate in silence.

"Why have you been coming home late?" Jan asked the question in a quiet voice.

"No special reason."

"Are you seeing someone?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little."

"Please answer the question better!"

"Well, yes, I suppose it could be called seeing someone."

"Who is she?" Her lower lip quivered. She had gotten the answer she feared.

"Just a woman."

"Just a woman? How could a woman, besides me, be a woman in your life?"

"She's not really in my life!"

"Explain what that means?"

"I mean, she's not important to me."

"This woman that's not important to you, what's her name?"

"You don't really want to know."

"What do you have in mind doing with this person, who is just a woman, and not important to you? Remember, we have a three-year-old child!"

"Nothing special. I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"Do you intend to marry her, this woman who is not important to you?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Have you made love with this woman?"

Archie was silent.

"Have you made love with this woman?"

"Yes." He mumbled the answer, barely audibly.

"How long has been this going on?" Tears began to form at the edges of her eyes.

"Not long."

"How long?"

"I don't know, a month, maybe more."

"And you expect me to accept this?"

"I don't know what I expect from you."

"You don't know what to expect? After over fourteen years of marriage? What's the matter with me? Aren't I good enough for you?" She began crying softly.

"There's nothing wrong with you. It's me. I'm the problem. Maybe I'm hypnotized. I don't know."

"Don't come to bed tonight!" Jan went up the stairs to the bedroom.

Archie sat in the living room watching TV. His eyes were on the screen but seeing nothing. On an impulse, he walked up the stairs and into the bedroom. Unobserved by his wife, he saw Jan was sobbing bitterly. He watched silently for several minutes without her knowing. He turned and went back to the living room.

He sat on the couch in his usual place, turned down the sound on the TV and picked up the phone. He dialed a number that he had memorized several weeks earlier.

"Irene, I need to tell you something. I just had a talk with Jan. We can't go on."

He listened for a long time.

"I know all that. I'm very sorry. It was mostly my fault. It was wrong what I did."

He listened again.

"All I can say is . . ." He didn't finish the sentence; the other person had hung up. He placed the receiver back on its cradle.

He lay on the couch. Sleep did not come easily. The next day he left for work without showering or shaving, wearing the same clothing he had worn the day before.

Almost immediately, Jan entered the room and sat in the same place that Archie had occupied the night before. Using the same phone he had used, she dialed a number. "Wilma," she said, "what's the phone number of that psychologist you consulted when you and Fred were having trouble?"

Listening, she made a note, on a slip of paper pulled from the drawer of the end table nearby. "I'll get back to you," she said. "Would you take babysit Millie while I'm gone?" They disconnected. Staring at the paper, she dialed a number.

That afternoon, Jan met with Helen Hilbert, the psychologist whose name Wilma had given her.

Helen was middle-aged, gray-haired, slightly overweight, scholarly-looking, wearing simple clothing. She greeted Jan warmly, and invited her to sit in the overstuffed couch near the wall. Helen sat in a simple wooden chair facing her. "Tell me why you have come to see me," she said.

"My husband, Archie, told me last night that he had been unfaithful to me. This is all new to me. I need help in deciding what to do."

"There is nothing that is the right thing to do," responded Helen. "Some women will feel that no amount of unfaithfulness can be tolerated. They will demand a divorce immediately. It will not matter what their financial circumstances are, whether children are involved, what others may think. A single instance means the marriage is ended. I term these women as being, One Strike and Out. Others, rightly or wrongly, will attempt to save the marriage. It will never be the same; nor will it ever be even be approximately the same. But they will feel that a marriage is forever. I term these women, Devotedly Yours. I cannot tell you which type you are because every case is different and must be decided by the woman herself."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?"

"Yes. I can not tell you to be either One Strike and Out or Devotedly Yours!"

"Ms. Hilbert, you haven't helped me very much!"

"I believe I have. I've told you what you must do in order to decide what you should do!"

At home, Jan dialed Wilma. "I talked to Helen Hilbert," she said.

"What did she tell you?"

"She told me I needed to decide whether to trash the marriage or fight to save it."

"I hope you've decided to end it!"

"No, I haven't decided yet. I wondered what you would advise."

"I've already told you! Kick the maggot out! I did, with that rat of mine."

"Thank you, Wilma. You've told me what I wanted to know." She hung up.

The front door opened and Archie, disheveled and haggard looking, walked in. He didn't speak.

"You're home early," said Jan.

"I was sent home. To clean up," he said.

"You look terrible, Archie."

"That talk we had last night. It bothered me." He sank into the couch. She sat beside him.

Glaring at him, she said, "It bothered me too."

"I've stopped seeing her."

"Oh?"

"I called her last night, and told her it was over."

"That was very brave of you," she declared sarcastically.

"Jan, you're not making this very easy for me!"

"I don't know why I should!"

"I want to get back to you, the way it was."

"That's impossible. It can't ever go back to the way it was!"

"I don't want to lose you!"

"Archie, it isn't that easy! I need to do some thinking. I need to decide what kind of person I am."

"I don't understand."

"I have been advised that I need to decide whether I'm of the type termed One Strike and Out or Devotedly Yours."

"I still don't understand."

"Never mind, you don't need to. Give me a moment."

She was silent for a few seconds, then said, "I've decided what type I am. Go upstairs, clean up, and take a shower. When you're done, come back. I'm devoted to you and to this marriage. We need to have a long talk about the future."

A life-changing problem for the two of them had been solved. But — for how long?

21. I Don't Think I Should Do That

Time of Current Episode: June, 2035

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 46

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 41, Blond Hair,

Employed As Sales Consultant With an Office at Home.

Mary Dolan, Age , Very Pretty, Blond, Employed at

Ridgewood College, Main Office, Assistant to the Registrar

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

PArchie meets Mary Dolan at the School Cafeteria. They find an attraction for each other which almost results in his being unfaithful to Jan again.

rofessor Robinson, may I sit with you?"

He looked up from his book. She was young, pretty, blond, with deep hazel eyes. She was wearing a plain white blouse above a dark skirt. Balancing it carefully, she was holding a tray with a sandwich, a small salad, and a steaming cup of a tea on it.

"Of course!" he replied. "I'd love to have company."

She placed the tray on the small table where he was sitting and sat opposite him. "I'm Mary Dolan," she said. "I work here. I've noticed you, sitting here alone with a book. I wondered whether you'd welcome some conversation for a change."

"Yes, I think I would like that. I'm happy to meet you, Ms. Dolan."

"Call me Mary," she said.

"My first name is Archie," he replied, "but, you may already know this."

"Yes, I've known your name for a long time," said Mary. "I've observed you working diligently at your desk at the school, oblivious to most of what's going on around you. I don't believe you know many of your co-workers by name. Here, in the company's cafeteria, I see you reading a book with only a salad and a cup of coffee on your table."

"I'm flattered that you have felt that much interest in me," said Archie. "You're right, at work, the job is everything. I bear down hard on it. It makes the time go faster."

"Do you have other interests? Are you married? Children?"

"I'm interested in history, politics, and writing. I'm married. My wife and I have celebrated our fourteenth anniversary. We have a little girl, almost four-years-old. How about you?"

"I'm twenty-three, just out of college. I've been with the school about a year. I'm work in the Main Office and am Assistant to the Registrar. Like you, I feel my first obligation is to my work. I haven't thought, a great deal, about dating, or getting married. I know I should. Time has no compassion for stragglers. Most of the men I know have a frivolous nature. I haven't warmed up to any of them."

"Choosing the right person is important," Archie said. "I know this from experience. I married too young, I think. I had the old-fashioned idea that a woman's place is in the home. She was working at Ridgewood the same as I and it seemed she was on the path to a successful career. But, when I thought we could afford it, I asked her to quit her job and stay home to take care of financial and other matters. I think we may have gotten bored with each other.

"Why a mistake ? Sounds like a generous thing for you to offer!" Mary said.

"Perhaps, but I would always see her dressed up and cute-looking. After she quit, she dressed mostly in jeans."

"There's nothing wrong with jeans!"

"True, but I'm a devoted fan of pretty dresses, blouses, and skirts. I like the way you look right now, for example!"

"Has this caused trouble at home?"

Not really, Jan and I get along pretty well, but there was a thing that happened between us around our fourteenth anniversary that is still haunting us in the background."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she said. "You seem to be a very serious man, the kind of person that would make a good husband, probably the kind I'm looking for."

"Thank you for your kind words," he said, "but I'm nothing special. I'm a lot older than you and have lots of faults." They continued to talk, exchanging views and pleasantries. When it came time to return to work, he said, "I've enjoyed this conversation with you. Shall we do it again tomorrow?"

"I'd love that, Professor Wilcox" she said. "Though you're too modest to admit it, I think the waters of your river run deep. I'd like to know more about you."

At home, Archie parked in the driveway, and entered his home through the side door. Jan had dinner on the table. He removed his jacket, flung it to a vacant chair in the kitchen, kissed his wife on the cheek, rapidly rinsed his hands at the sink, then sat in his usual place at the dinner table. Jan sat opposite him.

He studied her face. She looked tired, he thought. Her hair was tousled, and she was wearing a housecoat. Normally, her appearance would not have bothered him, but it did tonight. Mary had had her hair nicely arranged, and she was wearing lipstick. She had been attractively dressed. She had stirred feelings in him that he had not experienced for a long time. He dared not put those thoughts into audible words.

Tonight, dinner was the usual Thursday fare, meatloaf and salad. "At one time, we were talking about adopting another child," he said during a quiet moment after Jan had told him about the bird that had inadvertently entered the house through the open kitchen window, and how she had made sure to guide it safely out of the house.

"I remember we were talking about it," she responded, "but I don't think either of us felt strongly enough to follow up on the idea."

He didn't respond. "Would it have done any good?" he wondered.

After dinner, Archie went into the den and watched the news on TV while Jan did the dishes. "Shouldn't he be helping Jan?" he asked himself. His mind did not dwell on this thought for any great length of time. He stared at the television screen but none of the images focused. He was thinking about Mary. He knew it was dangerous to do this. Last year when the same kind of ideas had come into his mind, they had almost cost him his marriage. Jan had taken him back, but an important part of their relationship had permanently been lost.

The first time he had strayed had been fourteen years into his marriage, a multiple of seven.. He had heard about the seven year itch. Was it possible, this phenomenon might be a built-in characteristic in every man's life? Mary had shown an interest in him. Could he risk another affair? What would it cost? The last one had set him back a bundle. He was in no mood to lose that kind of money again at this point in his life!

The next day, Archie happily welcomed Mary as she came to his table for lunch. He had not opened his book. However, he had purchased his usual salad and coffee. Mary arrived with her tray.

"Are you going to the school party tonight," she asked.

"I didn't know there was a party," he responded.

She laughed. "I should have expected you'd say that," she commented. "It's the mid-term celebration for faculty and staff. Don't I look a little different than I did yesterday?"

"Oh, yes," he said. "Your shoulders are bare. I think I smell a little perfume. Are you wearing party clothes?"

"Yes," she said. "My top is a little more daring and I'm wearing a shorter skirt than usual. There will be dancing. I wish you had known about the party. It would have been fun having you there."

"Where is it going to be?" he asked.

"At the Plaza Restaurant up the street," she replied. "Right after work. There will be dinner and dancing until midnight. The school is paying for it. It was announced on the bulletin board. You probably didn't see it."

"You're right. I did not see it. I'm not dressed for a party, not even wearing a tie."

"It's informal!" she said. "But I'm probably being selfish. If you had known, you probably could have brought your wife."

"I would have loved to know about it. Perhaps, we could have gone, but it's probably too late to ask her now. Still, I'd love to go. Going with you sounds exciting! I can call Jan and tell her I'm working late, or something."

"That might work," she said. "But I don't want to be the cause of any trouble. Are you sure it would be OK to do that?"

"I'm sure!" he declared.

Back in the office, Archie dialed his home number. Jan responded, "Hello dear." she said. The Caller ID display had showed a number she recognized.

"I'll be home late tonight," he began. "Were doing something special at the school, and I should have told you. They will be feeding us while we work. Don't worry about me. I should be home sometime after midnight."

"Yes, I wish you had told me," she said. "Tonight's meal was stew the way you like it. I can make it anyway and serve it to you tomorrow."

"Yes, tomorrow would be fine. I'll be looking forward to it." They hung up. He was ashamed for having lied.

Archie had not been to a dance in a long time and had gotten rusty at the art. However, under Mary's guidance, he regained some of his former skill. Holding Mary in his arms and smelling her perfume had a profound effect on his brain. In his mind, he was no longer approaching middle age with fifteen years of marriage behind him. He was eighteen, on a first date. Love, with all its charms, feelings and frills, lay before him. Mary, was wonderfully cooperative. She seemed to be enjoying the excitement of the evening as much as he.

The school photographer took a picture of the two. At midnight neither he nor she was in a mood to end their evening of bliss. "I wish you were not married," she said. "I'd be looking forward to going home with you!"

"Even though I'm in my forties?" he asked

"To me, you're my age!" she said.

Encouraged by her blunt comment, he responded hoarsely, "I want to kiss you!"

"Not here," she said. Then, she added, "Where?"

"My car," he suggested.

In the car, they kissed as if to make up for years of lost time. They had decided that, in order to better control the rush of their emotions, the front seat of the vehicle would be a better place to placate their ardor than the back.

After several minutes, short of breath, they decided to rest for a few moments. "Mary, I think I'm starting to fall in love with you," he whispered.

"And, I, you," she murmured. "May I ask you something?"

"Yes, anything at all," he replied.

"You mentioned a thing that had happened during your marriage with your wife," she said. "Would you tell me more about that."

"Jan and I have been married for fifteen years," Archie began. "At first, it was exciting, but then it became humdrum. We learned that we couldn't have children, but were talking about adopting. Then our daughter, Millie unexpectedly arrived. My life changed when a young woman came into my life. She was a few years younger than me and we became involved. I began dating her secretly. After a few dates, I committed the sin of unfaithfulness. Once the ice had been broken, I fell into a trap from which I could not escape. I knew Jan suspected, but she didn't say anything."

"One day the woman told me that she had been to Apex Jewelry and had seen a ring that she had fallen in love with. She asked whether I would mind checking it out to see whether she should purchase it. I knew what that meant. Without hesitation, I purchased it for her. It was expensive!"

"A few days later, she told me that she needed to make a payment on her credit card but didn't have the money. She asked whether she could borrow some money from me for a short time. I did give her the money she needed, but she never repaid it. A few days later, she said that her living room furniture needed replacement. I was able to scrape together enough money to pay for some new pieces."

"Jan, finally noticed the huge outlay of money and asked me if I was seeing someone. I admitted that I was. She almost started divorce proceedings. It wasn't going to be cheap unraveling myself from the embroilment that I had put myself in. As a consequence, I broke up with the woman, but not before a certain amount of pain had been inflicted upon myself and Jan. I promised my wife that if she took me back, I would never stray again. She did take me back."

He had come to the end of the story. There was a long silence. "Let's walk to my car," Mary said.

The next day was a Saturday. Archie was in the den meditating over the events of the previous evening. Jan was grocery shopping.

The phone rang. He picked up the receiver. It was Mary.

"Are you free to talk? she asked. "If not, just say it's a wrong number."

"I can talk. Jan is not home."

"Archie," she said. "I've just come from the jewelry store. I saw a ring there that was to die for. I wanted to buy it, but didn't know whether I should. I'm wondering if you'd mind going there to see whether it's worth the money they're asking." She began quietly sobbing.

He did not respond.

"Archie, did you hear what I asked? It's an important question." Her crying remained unabated.

"Yes, Mary, I heard. I don't think I should do what you're asking," he said.

There was nothing on the other end except the soft sound of tears.

"But I do want to tell you," he continued, that, by asking me this, you have restored a sense of sanity in me that I was about to lose. Though you are much younger than I, you are, by far, the wiser. Though the paths of our lives must now diverge, I will never forget you."

Though she didn't speak, he knew her tears were flowing heavily. He waited until he detected a click at the other end, then, sadly, hung up.

He heard the side door opening. There was a loud call, "I'm back!" It was Jan announcing her return from shopping. "Jan, dear," he yelled back. "I'm in the den. Wait till I come down to help you with the groceries. Then, I'd like to talk to you!"

A few minutes later, at the dinner table, he voiced a statement that made a difference. "Jan, he said, you probably have not noticed. You need new clothes. And maybe some perfume! There's a store downtown called Lady Glamorous, or something like that. Let's go there Saturday and get some nice things for you!"

22. The Marriage Counselor

Time of Current Episode: September 6, 2036

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 44

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 39

Elaine Harlow, Marriage Counselor

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan and Archie decide to meet with a Marriage Counselor. She uses an innovative means to help them.

Ms. Elaine Harlow, Marriage Counselor, rose from her seat and walked to greet her visitors, Archie and Jan. She invited them to sit side by side on the couch that faced her desk. She returned to her seat and addressed the couple.

Ms. Harlow was twenty-eight, blond with blue-eyes. She was wearing a gray business suit and holding a pair of reading glasses in her hand as she began speaking to her guests. The couple could have been described as being middle-aged. Informally dressed, they seemed uncomfortable seated close together.

"May I call you by your first names, Jan and Archie?" Ms. Harlow asked. They nodded yes. "From the questionnaires you filled out, I see, you've been married about sixteen years and are going through some bumps in the road," she said. "Archie, I'll get to you soon; Jan, I'd like to start with you. Briefly tell me what brings you and your husband to see me today."

Jan had been lovely some years earlier. Now, her beauty was fading. It was apparent, however, that she had not been taking effective steps to delay this decline. Her voice was weak as she made her points, her demeanor, timid.

"At the beginning," she said, "everything was very good. Then, it seemed that having me around was more of a nuisance to Archie than anything having a connection with love. Archie has been coming home later and later lately, and I suspect he's been seeing other women. I've asked him about it but he denies it.

We have one child, a little girl. I think we might have been happier if we had had more children. I don't work at a regular job, but I try to keep a nice home for Archie. I think he has about as much feelings for me as he has for the spare tire leaning against the wall in the garage; unneeded, unwanted, and, most of the time, unnecessary. We've been talking divorce. This meeting with you was not planned. I casually suggested it and Archie surprised me by saying, OK." Jan's voice was wavering near the end of her statement; she seemed about to burst into tears.

Ms. Harlow took a box a tissues from a desk drawer and handed it across the front of the desk to where Samantha was sitting. She took it without speaking.

"Archie," she asked, "what is your take on what Jan has said?"

He glanced at his wife as if requesting permission to speak. She showed no emotion. "Ms. Harlow," he began, "Jan means more to me than the spare tire that she mentioned. I love her and could not get along without her. I've had trouble expressing my love as well as I should. I was unfaithful to her one time in the past, but have been true to her since. I don't blame her for doubting, but what I'm saying is true!"

Archie continued, "As she says, everything was more than good at the beginning. I was living in heaven every day, especially when I came home from work. She was prettily dressed and seemed to go out of her way to entice me. And she did! Then slowly, things began to change. It seemed she simply didn't care any more! She invariably dressed in jeans or house dresses. I began yearning for the old days, and, as I said, did stray. I was happy when she took me back. But I have let myself go. I'm getting heavier and losing what's left of my hair. Yes, we've been talking divorce, but I don't think this would help us in any way."

There was a silence in the room. Jan and Archie stared expectantly at Ms. Harlow.

"I believe I can help you," she said. We will need several meetings. I would suggest once a week. "I've been a psychologist about six years and have been having success with a method of treatment I developed called Romantic Poetic Therapy. For our next meeting, I am asking each of you to express yourselves by writing a poem. Sounds simple, but it works! Don't be alarmed. I'm not requesting reincarnations of Lord Byron or Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Just do the best you can. Rhyming is not necessary. Length is not important."

"Jan, I'd like you to write a poem. In it, tell how you feel. Archie, I'd like your poem to be about what you seek most from your marriage. The reason I want your write-ups to be in poetry is because doing this may awaken old feelings of love that you once experienced. You may yearn for a return to the life you used to enjoy and wish to return to it. People are more free in expressing their thoughts in poetry than they are when just speaking extemporaneously. Whenever I have attempted therapy of this sort, there has been success in, at least, one in three attempts. Are you willing to try?"

The agreements were made albeit with some reluctance. An appointment was made for another meeting. on the following week. At that time, after the initial pleasantries had been articulated, Ms. Harlow asked Jan to read what she had written. The following is what she read:

Lonely

I know that God wants us to be happy, still . . .

Isn't marriage supposed to bring companionship?

How could a person who had received so much love from another return so little thoughtfulness?

Sometimes I get lonely and cry.

I haven't wanted much, a kind word, a little hug, a pretty red rose.

I've sent flowers to myself. I was only a buddy and I suppose buddies have to send their own flowers.

Isn't marriage supposed to bring contentment?

How could a person who had received so much good from another return so little thoughtfulness?

When God says no, it's because He has something better to offer. Still . . .

I suppose Archie's unhappy now. But doesn't marriage, after all, supposed bring happiness? I'd really like to know.

Ms. Harlow then asked Archie to read his poem. This is what he had written:

Yearnings

To be with her, to see her smile, to hold her hand, for a little while, 'tis what I need.

To laugh with her, to softly cry, to reminisce of days gone by, 'tis what I ardently seek.

To share our dreams, with hearts entwined, to search the depths, and meanings find, 'tis what I so passionately yearn for!

Inside of me resides a man who longs to be set free from the stoic mind that wields an iron control.

Inside of me resides a heart that yearns to set him free.

"Thanks to both of you," said Ms. Harlow. "Your words have been very revealing. I see a successful outcome from the meetings we will have during the next several weeks. Archie, your wife revealed a great deal in what she wrote. She doesn't ask for anything you can't provide. I'll give you the original of what she wrote. She's appealing to you for a share of the attention you place on various endeavors during the day. She is telling you that she is lonely. And, she is not asking for a great deal. In the upcoming meetings, we'll talk about the little things you can do that would greatly please her; a card, a rose, a surprise gift. As your attention grows, you'll find that she'll work harder to make herself become more attractive to you. The little thoughtfulness that you express will bring many dividends."

"Jan, your husband is a very romantic person. Somehow he feels bound by habit or childhood training not to show his feelings. He loves deeply but is not demonstrable. You can help break the bonds that force him to hide his emotions. With encouragement from you, you'll find that he can be a much better companion and lover. I daresay, he will begin taking better care of his health and his appearance!"

"Let us adjourn now until next week. Archie, As you leave here, take Jan's hand and walk with her hand-in-hand to your car. Let this be your first step in escaping from the bonds your stoic mind wields such an iron control!"

It can be reported that the couple's meeting with Ms. Harlow had had a profound beneficial effect!

23. Mysterious Woman

Time of Current Episode: October 7, 2037

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 45

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Blond Hair, Age 40

Diane, A teenage girl.

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie has a weird dream wherein he meets a teenage girl as he is attempting to fine his way home. They have a strange conversation.

Jan, are you awake?" Archie asked Jan, who was lying next to him in bed. "I am now!" she replied. Is there anything wrong, darling?"

"I just had a weird dream," he said. "It all seemed so real! Can I tell you about it?

"Of course, dear!" she said.

This is the dream as Archie told it:

It was today. Quitting time. I left the school building and began walking down the flight of stairs that led to the parking lot. There were 104 steps. I knew that because I had counted them many times before as I walked to the parking lot. I don't know exactly when it happened, but it began to get dark. This was unusual. It was only four-thirty. I continued walking downward. I glanced into the sky and saw there was a full moon. Everything had seemed perfectly normal! When, I reached the bottom, I thought my count had not been anywhere near the number it should have been. Further unexpectedly, I found that instead of a parking lot, there was only a gravel a path. There was no concrete pavement; no painted lines; no cars. Now, I became alarmed. I did not know where I was.

I don't know why I began walking along the path. I knew our home is not far from the college. Maybe, I thought I could walk home. The light from the moon allowed me to see the ground though it was only dimly lit. I did not recognize anything as I walked, and didn't know why. I thought if I continued walking, I would see something familiar. It turned out to be a winding trail. I stopped, intending to find out where I was and where I was going. That's when I saw a light several hundred feet in front of me on a straight stretch of the walkway. I decided to go to where it was located to see what was causing it.

When I arrived, I saw a hillock of tightly packed earth. Seated on it was a young woman, perhaps a teenager. There was a lantern next to her, brightly shining, providing a good illumination of the area. The woman was very beautiful with long auburn hair. She was wearing a wrinkled white gown. Looking ponderingly into the sky, she had not noticed me. I positioned myself where I could face her, and greeted her with a simple hello. She lowered her eyes, and stared at me. Then she softly responded in the same simple way I had addressed her with a soft-spoken, "hello."

"My name is Professor Wilcox," I said. "Are you a student?"

"Yes," she responded barely moving her lips. Then she went silent, not offering any further information.

"Would you mind telling me your name?" I asked.

"Diane."

"Just Diane?"

She nodded.

"Diane," I ventured, "I seem to have lost my way. I don't know where I am. Can you help me?"

"No," she mumbled.

Her answer disappointed me. "Would you walk with me, for a little while, to help me find out where I am. I live near here, but don't fully understand exactly how to get home. Maybe if we walk together, you could help me find my home."

"All right," she replied quietly without changing her expression.

"I'll carry the lantern," I suggested.

"No, leave it here."

"You want to leave it?"

"Yes, we can see well enough without it."

"I'll turn it off."

"Leave it on. Someone might need it."

I didn't fully understand why she would say that, but I wanted to begin my search for a way to get home, and was not inclined to ask. From what I could clearly comprehend at the time, was that she might be the only person that would be able to help me.

Diane rose from where she had been sitting and joined me. We began sauntering in the direction I had been going.

The pathway was rough. Our feet made scratching sounds as they splattered the gravel underneath them. At first, I made an attempt to walk beside Diane, but the path was too narrow to allow this. Taking the initiative, she began leading the way. There were clouds in the sky and the night was dark; however, the moon had lightened the surroundings enough so that we could make our way safely. Though I looked diligently in every direction, I could not find anything that seemed recognizable. Hopelessly lost, I had no hesitation in permitting Diane to lead the way.

I found that the path had an amazingly large number of offshoots, only a few yards apart, each identified with an aged, wooden signpost. We walked by a place called Despondency Lane. I wondered why anyone would give a gloomy name such as that to a roadway, but was willing to accept it, so long as it led to my home. Next was Depravity Drive, followed by Deplorable Boulevard. It occurred to me that whoever had named these streets and alleys could have done a better job. We came to a sign reading Perdition Place. Diane turned to me and stopped walking. I also stopped. She reached for my hand. "Let's turn here," she urged, as she made an effort to turn me in the direction of that roadway. She pointed to a distant building that was brightly lit. "I want to go there!" She said.

"Diane," I exclaimed. "You can't mean that! You have no idea what there is at that point, and neither do I!" I withdrew my hand from her grip. "I don't know where I am," I said. My wife, Jan, has to be missing me. I need to go home! We must continue on this path. We will surely come to someplace I recognize!"

"Professor," she responded, "I know this path. I've been on it for a long time. There is no real place that it actually leads to. We will soon come to a sign that reads Obscure Circle, then Indolent Avenue, next Dingy Boulevard. There are many more walkways with similar names. There is no home for you anywhere on this path. We're at Depression Alley. It for those who are despondent! I suppose you didn't know this!"

"No," I said. "But, a mistake has been made. After teaching my classes I've always gone straight home by car from the parking lot at the school. I don't know how I got onto this forlorn path. Surely, if I keep walking, I'll find out where I am! Why are you on the path? Are you trying to get home also?"

"Professor, this is not a real path. It's a cerebral walkway for the depressed upon which you can pace from one end to the other, and back again, and never make any progress! I do have a real home, but even when I'm there, I don't feel it's a home. I come to this wretched footpath again and again. I don't know how you got on it. There had to be a reason related to your mindset. I got on it because, this far in my life, I've been a dismal failure. Are you a failure, too?"

"No," I responded sharply. "Absolutely not! I'm forty-five years old. I've got a doctor's degree. I've been teaching English at the school for over twenty-five years. I have a home in a nice part of the city, a loving wife, and a five-year-old daughter. I'm not the least depressed, and have seldom failed at anything in my whole life!"

"Then I can't tell you how you got on this dreadful walkway, or how you can get off," Diane stated emphatically. "And, I don't want to continue walking with you any longer because I will only lead you farther and farther away from your home. Go your way; I'm going to march in another direction!"

"Diane," I said, "You're a child. I can't just leave you here. You have become my responsibility. Where would you go?"

"You saw where. I want to visit the house on Perdition Place. Perhaps, I will find something of interest at that place, something that will change my life for the better!"

"I won't let you! Wherever you go, I'll have to be with you! To protect you!"

"I don't need protection from you, Professor. I must live my life as I see fit. Good bye!" She began running in the direction from which we had come. I took a few steps to follow, but realized it was hopeless. "Diane, Diane," I called out after her. "Don't do this! Come back!" The darkness quickly enveloped her. I felt myself becoming faint. Then everything around me morphed to a darkened void.

Then I woke up and you were here! I was relieved, yet, disturbed that it had all been a dream!"

"Archie, Archie, you were having a bad dream!" It was Jan speaking. She and Archie were in bed. It was about six a.m. Sunlight was streaming into the room through nearby window.

"Jan," he gasped. "I was having a horrible nightmare. I was dreaming I was on my way home from work and was on a strange path with a young female student named Diane. She needed help, but would not accept any from me. She was running away from me at the time you woke me up. I must try to go back to the dream to try to help her!"

"Darling," she said, "people can't go back to dreams. And it was only a dream! You must accept that. You can have peace of mind knowing that you would have helped if you could have!"

"Thank you dear," he muttered. "Yes, it was only a dream. But I will remember this dream for a long time. I think there must have been a reason for having it. I will wish I could have done something to help."

"Maybe you will! In some way," Jan said. "Maybe, I will" she added. Archie recalled that one day in the past, she had told me she was a physic!

Early that afternoon, Archie drove to Ridgewood College to teach his usual classes. He was early, as usual. When he entered the classroom, he saw a female seated in the middle row at the front seat. Though she had never been there before, he knew she was Diane. She was no longer in a white gown, but wearing jeans with a huge hole on one knee.

"You're Diane, aren't you," he asked?

"Yes, Professor," she said. "I've known about you for a long time, as being a kind person, but, though I wanted to, I never met you. I had a dream about you during overnight. I dreamed you and I were on a path I nicknamed, Depression Alley. I dreamed I needed help from you, but when you offered it, I refused. I've changed my mind, I've come to you with the hope, that, though we've never met, you will be able to help me solve a problem that have been depressing me greatly! I'm eighteen and pregnant!"

"Yes, I will help you, Diane," Archie said. I'd like to have you come home with me after classes and meet with me and my wife, Jan. You'll find she's an understanding and compassionate woman. I know she will be able to give you good, solid advice. Though I've only now realized it, something beyond human understanding has brought us together expressly for this purpose!"

24. Jan Confounds a Burglar

Time of Current Episode: June 1, 2038

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 47

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Blond Hair, Age 42,

Employed as Sales Consultant with office at home.

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan is accosted by an invading burglar at home. She disposes of him with her strength of wits.

This is not going to be a good day for you, woman," the man growled. "Make up your mind to that! First, we'll see what you have that's worth taking. The worst is yet to be! Hey, that rhymes! What is there to be? The worst is yet to be!"

Jan had just come home from a visit at her favorite shopping center, and found this monster, in the shape of a man, sitting with a gun in his lap pointed at the door through which she had just entered.

"Lock that door," he demanded. "Sit over there where I can see you." He pointed to a sofa facing him. She did as he had ordered.

Jan knew she needed to outthink this beast. She was not superstitious, but immediately decided to try a ruse. She made it up as she went along.

"Sir, you need to know something," she said. "Listen carefully, you have to understand this. I'm superstitious; everyone who knows me, is aware of this! Today, I made sure I had not stepped on any cracks, walked under any ladders, and would have good luck when returning home not bad. You must not interfere with this; otherwise, the fates will be angry with you!"

Jan knew that she must not panic. She had read about, and seen on television, many stories involving encounters with vicious animals who had the appearance of being human. Unless, she used her brain to the utmost at this crucial time, she could fall victim to a fate no woman should ever face.

"You want money! I'll make it easy for you, friend," she said. "You won't have to rummage through the house opening drawers and strewing papers all over the floor. I think you'll be happy with what I help you find! But first, it would be best for you to know what karma has in store for you as you mess up this robbery. I was born in a year when there was no Friday the 13th, and, therefore, have special powers that most people don't have. Go ahead and try to press the trigger. I have just arranged that instead of a bullet coming toward me, the gun will explode in that pretty face of years and you won't look anywhere near as handsome in your coffin as you do now!"

"You're bluffing," he growled. "I have half a mind to bump you off right now, instead of later, as I had planned."

"You've run across the wrong woman!" she responded tartly. "It would be stupid of you! That way, you won't find half the money that's in this house, and I don't suppose you'd want a bloodied corpse with which to do the rest of the evil you have in mind. I assure you, that gun will explode. Fire it into the ceiling if you don't believe me. It will still make a mess of your face, but, at least, you'll have made your point."

"This special ability you claim you have, are you saying you're a witch?"

"Worse, because I'm super special! Right now, and when I go out, there is a magnetic field that protects me from all harm. I could be hit by a bus, knocked fifty feet into the air, and come down smiling. I could come over there now, take that gun out of your hand, and shoot you with it!"

"Why the hell don't you do it then?"

"The blood, you buzzard! I don't want my house, my lovely home, that I take so much pride in, polluted by that vile, filthy, stuff, that flows through your ugly veins to contaminate it. You're not welcome in my house. I don't know how you got in, but I'm a compassionate person. I don't want to see you dead in my lovely living room, and I'm willing to give you money so that you could get out of here in one piece. But first, I need to do my duty as a civilized human being and try to save you from the revolting life you are fated to live."

"I don't need your help, witch woman. I have no desire to be saved by you. But this power that you claim you have, if it's real, could I have it too?"

"It's possible, but I do need to know more about you. Have you ever walked under a ladder, even once?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"That would not be good for you. Every time you do that, there will be bad luck for you. Maybe not then, but later. Maybe even today. How about a black cat crossing your path? Has that ever happened?"

"It might have."

"It's the same result as with a ladder. It means bad fortune for you. Maybe even today. And how about a mirror, have you ever broken one?"

"I don't think so, but maybe."

"That's would be seven years of bad luck! You're full of maybes. It could be that all of those bad luck issues have come to curse you today. This could be especially terrible for you because you came to the wrong house and found a situation you could not handle! Whenever somebody tries to do me harm, the kind that you're were expecting to do, that evil goes right back to them! This very day could be a an exceptionally unlucky day for you. Exceedingly unlucky!"

"I don't believe any of this. I think you're making it all up. Prove to me that what you're saying is true."

"That's easy to do. In a normal calendar you will find no months that do not have at least one Friday the 13th. In the year that I was born, there was an exception. During that year there was not even one Friday the 13th. How do you explain that? Doesn't this show that I'm special and do have all the special powers I've said I have? Go ahead, explain it. Just try to explain it!"

"I can't. My God, maybe I've come to the wrong house! I'm going to get out of here right now."

"Not so fast," Jan exclaimed. "There's a price to pay. I won't let you go until you have heard me out!"

"You can't keep me here," he snarled.

"If you dare walk out that door, you will find, the worst terror that your mind can conjure up. Think about it. The very thing you fear most. You will not be able to escape it. What is that thing?"

"That guard, Bull Johnson. He gave me hell in prison. I spent three years under his brutal control!"

"Exactly," Jan said. "Open that door, he'll be there! He'll put handcuffs on you and take you right back to that horrible place you were in."

"What do I have to do to get out of here?"

"Pick up that phone beside you, dial 911, and ask that the police come here to take you away from here," she ordered.

"Can't you give me an easier way? I don't want to see the police right now."

"That's the only way that will work!" Jan responded. "I said it was my duty to try to save you. There's only one way. You need to give yourself up, then try to lead a better life."

"You seem to know all the right ways to live," he muttered. "After I have reformed, what will I have to do to be as powerful as you?"

"You need to accept some things that you may not want to believe in."

"Such as?"

"When you walk on the sidewalk, don't step on cracks! Never walk under a ladder! Don't let a black cat ever cross your path! Don't break a mirror! Those are the worst things you could do."

"What are the good luck things I should do?"

"If you see a penny, pick it up. It will bring good luck. If you think something bad is going to happen, knock on wood, or toss some salt over your left shoulder."

"Anything else?"

"No those are the rules under which I live. Now, pick up that phone, and dial 911."

He did!

After the police had left, Jan dialed her husband's school number. "Archie, you won't believe what just happened!" she exclaimed. "At quitting time, hurry home! I want to tell you all about it!"
25. The Shared Gift

Time of Current Episode: January, 2040

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 48

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 42

Nadine Wendelken, Doctor, General Practitioner

Rudolph Rumstead, Doctor, Kidney Specialist

Alice, Jan's younger sister

William, Alice's husband

Millie, a child born to Archie and Jan on August 18, 2031.

She is seven years old.

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis for this Episode:

Jan had been advised she has a kidney disease and needs a kidney transplant. Archie donates his kidney. At a later late, Archie is advised he needs a kidney transplant.

Jan and Archie had been married eighteen years. A lovely photo was taken by a professional photographer. A child, Millie, was born to the couple in August of the eleventh year of their marriage. She was their only child, seven years old, and in second grade at Homeside School. Doing well, she was a joy to Archie and Jan. Both parents had been employed when they married. Jan had quit her job to attend to household duties, but had been recently re-employed as a Sales Consultant with an office at home. Jan's plans were to keep working while Millie was growing up.

Soon after Millie was born, Jan made an appointment with a gynecologist who took a routine blood test. The test revealed there was a problem with creatinine in her blood. She was informed that she had been diagnosed as having fallen victim to Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD). She had not been feeling tiptop for some months, but had attributed her malaise to being caused by the after-effects of her pregnancy.

"I'm sorry to give you this news," Dr. Nadine Wendelkin had said when she gave Jan the disturbing information. "I'll make an appointment for you with Dr. Rudolph Rumstead, a Nephrologist. You should see him as soon as you can."

"How did it go with the doctor," Archie asked when Jan came home.

"They think I may have a kidney problem," she responded. "I'm sure it's nothing serious but I do have to see a kidney doctor. My appointment is next Tuesday. Would you come with me?"

"Of course," he responded. He knew all too well what this news meant. Archie's mother had died from kidney failure at too-young an age.

The meeting with Dr. Rumstead was depressing. Jan's illness was extremely serious. Her kidneys were close to failing. The couple was informed that when kidney failure takes place, a patient has only a few weeks to live. A process called dialysis could keep a person alive for a period of time that varied with the individual. The doctor told the couple that dialysis would not work well with Jan. The only real option that she had was for a kidney transplant. He told the couple that only one kidney would be needed to enable Jan to live a normal life.

The bad news was that there is a long waiting list of persons needing a kidney transplant. There was also a compatibility problem that needed to be checked out.

While still in the doctor's office, Archie stated he wanted to volunteer to donate one of his kidneys. Dr. Rumstead stated that simply volunteering was not enough. There were many factors to be considered in order to insure that the transplant had a chance of working.

"Go home," the doctor said. "Talk it over fully. Read the information I'm giving you. There would be no disgrace in your determining not to do it. But if you decide to go ahead, we'll begin the process right away."

At home, there was an animated discussion.

Jan did her best to convince Archie she would be all right with dialysis. Or, Jan's family could be looked at to see whether there was the possibility of a donation from there. Alice, Jan's younger sister might be a good candidate. In the end, the two decided for Archie to donate one of his kidneys. The decision was made because Archie said, "When we were married , we both vowed that our marriage was for better or for worse. We're facing a bit of worse at this time, but we can make it better. I love you more than anyone else in the world. Giving you a kidney is a very small token of how I can validate my love for you. There cannot be any other option."

Tests indicated there was no compatibility problem. The operations were scheduled. Alice agreed to take over the care of Millie during the recuperation period.

The operations took place on a bitterly cold January at Mercy Hospital downtown. It was declared a success.

During the years that followed, a more or less normal life was led by the three members of the Wilson family. Alice, and her husband William, were frequent visitors. Millie would become greatly excited when she heard that Aunt Alice and Uncle Billy would come visiting.,

Jan needed to take several forms of medicine every day during this period of time, but otherwise, than the nuisance this caused, she was healthy and enjoyed caring for Archie and Millie. The donated kidney was doing its job admirably.

Normalcy exploded to smithereens early in the year six years later when Archie was diagnosed with kidney disease during a routine yearly exam. Giving Jan and Millie the news was one of the most difficult tasks that Archie had ever needed to do during his lifetime. A depressing pall fell over the home. His illness was ironically similar to that of his wife.

Dr. Rumstead informed the family that Archie needed a kidney transplant; otherwise his remaining life span could be measured in months. Immediately, Jan offered to give back to Archie the kidney he had given her! She said she would take her chances with finding a donor for herself. The doctor said there was no reason why this action should not take place but also declared that it would be greatly unusual and perhaps a first in the medical field.

Archie was adamant in refusing the suggestion. The onus of finding a donor was his, he insisted.

Jan reminded Archie of his words so many years before. "I love you more than anyone else in the world. Giving you a kidney is a very small token of how I can validate my love for you. There cannot be any other option." She had memorized this verbatim.

An impasse loomed until Alice proposed a suggestion. It was accepted by all. During the last week, Millie waited anxiously in the waiting room of Mercy Hospital. Three individuals had been wheeled into the operating room. Jan donated back the kidney she had received from Archie; Alice donated one of her kidneys to Jan. Millie was informed that the operations had been successful and all were doing well!

26. Two Sleepy People

Date of Current Episode: December 22, 2047

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 56

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 51, Blond Hair

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan and Archie are in bed reminiscing about past romantic events in their life together.

A

rchie!"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you awake?"

"No!"

"Yes you are! I want to talk!" Jan said.

"Why did you turn on the lights? I'm sleepy, honey!"

"I want to talk!"

"OK. Talk!"

"Sweetheart, you sound like you're still asleep! Wake up!"

"Darling, it's the middle of the night!!"

"That didn't used to bother you before!"

"I was young then."

"That was less than a year ago!"

"What time is it?"

"I don't know. Five-ish.

"Dear, I'm so sleepy!"

"Do you remember?"

"What?"

"Before we were married, how we'd linger in the hall."

"Your father didn't like that! He didn't like that at all!"

"He'd walk in on us winding an old-fashioned alarm clock."

"Maybe he thought that was funny!"

"I guess you got the hint."

"We had a date almost every night."

"And we didn't hurry getting you home."

"We cuddled in the car."

"In our secret hiding place."

We didn't care how late it got."

"Yeah, we'd talk all night, two sleepy people!"

"Then you'd take me home. I swear, you'd be driving with your eyes closed."

"We married in the fall."

"And rented this little nest!"

"To get a little rest."

"And now we have that cozy little chair."

"Love that chair!"

"We're still the same."

"Sleepy little fellow!"

"Drowsy little dame!"

"Still, just two sleepy people. Even today, sometimes we talk all night."

"Yeah, too much in love to say good night."

"Sometimes you'll get some food out of the fridge."

"Your parents gave it to us as a wedding present."

"We're just the same as we were before."

"Two sleepy people, talking through the night."

"Too much in love to say good night."

"Do you remember that night it rained and we got caught in it?"

"Yeah, we ran to the car and got all wet."

"Your folks were still up."

"They didn't believe a word of what we said."

"My dress was a mess!"

"I had lipstick on my collar!"

"I guess we gave them a lot to wonder about."

"Remember that time about the flat tires?"

"You tried to tell them that's why we were late."

"They didn't believe us at all!"

"Who would believe two flat tires in one night?"

"Well, at least you knew it was true!"

"How about that time we went to the all-night movies?"

"Well, we saw at least a few of them!"

"Wasn't "Tarzan's Great Adventure" one of them?"

"But then we fell asleep."

"Both of us!"

"The usher needed to wake us up."

"Everyone else had left."

"We were so embarrassed."

"Two sleepy people."

"Honey, why did you wake me up? Look, that's daylight coming through the window."

"I just wanted to reminisce a little."

"At five o'clock in the morning?"

"Do you remember how we met?"

"Of course! It was snowing. I was supposed to pick you up at your house for a first date."

"By the time you got there, the snow had gotten so deep, we decided not to go out."

"Were you disappointed the first time you saw me?"

"I thought you were beautiful enough to be a movie star!"

"I thought you were good-looking, too."

"You put on your heavy coat and we went out into the storm. You helped me guide the car into the other stall of your garage."

"I didn't want your car to be buried in snow. I knew the truck would plow us out after the storm."

"We got back into the house through the back door."

"You were as cold as an icicle!"

"You rubbed my hands until they got warm. That was so sweet of you!"

"Then we sat, in that rickety sofa and began talking."

"And we talked."

"And we talked."

"It got very late. Then it was midnight. You made some sandwiches. We talked some more."

"We laughed a lot!"

"At times, we just sat!"

"I began to fall in love with you."

"And I, with you."

"Two sleepy people."

"I won't forget what you did then."

"I took your hand and walked you into my bedroom."

"By the dawn's early light."

"And I said to you, this is my room. Get in bed and go to sleep. I'll use the spare room."

"You trusted me."

"I knew I could."

"I didn't fall asleep right away, thinking of you."

"I thought about you, too."

"We both slept for a long time."

"I heard the truck outside in the morning. I got up and began making breakfast."

"It was afternoon. You made blueberry pancakes for me."

"You loved them!"

"You insisted I walk outside and take a short walk in the snow with you."

"It was a fairy wonderland outdoors. So white; so peaceful; so quiet! I'll never forget it. We went back inside shivering."

"We held each other in our arms until we warmed up."

"Then, you asked me to marry you!"

"You said yes. I couldn't believe it!"

"Two sleepy people, by dawn's early light, too much in love to say good night."

"And here we are now, the same two people. Still sleepy!"

"Darling, I'm wide awake now!"

"Oh I'm so sorry dear! I'm sleepy. Let's turn out the lights and go back to sleep!"

"Kiss please! Good night!" Archie said.

27. Thou Wouldst Still Be Adored

Date of Current Episode: July 5, 2050

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 59

Jan Robinson, Blond Hair, Born June 10, 1996, Age 54.

Dr. Benson, Oncologist

Elizabeth Dyke, Actress; Spouse of Thomas Moore, Irish Poet

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Jan is informed by her doctor that she needs to have a mastectomy done. She believes this operation will ruin her marriage. Archie tries to reassure her.

D

arling!"

Archie and Jan were lying side by side. Archie was on the verge of falling asleep. "Yes, dear," he said sleepily.

"I saw Dr. Benson today," Jan said almost inaudibly.

"Didn't you have an appointment with him last week, dear?" Archie mumbled.

"Yes, this was my second visit. He's an Oncologist. He called today and said I needed to see him as soon as I could." Archie's heart stopped beating! He could not frame the thoughts in his mind into syllables. With a horror never before experienced, he waited for Jan's next words.

"I need a major operation!" she said quietly.

Archie propped himself up and took her into his arms, "Oh, honey," he murmured, "What's wrong?"

"There was a biopsy," she said. "I need a mastectomy. My left breast. I didn't know how to tell you."

Archie felt as if a cloud had been torn open and had maliciously poured gallons of ice water on his body. Though stunned, he was able to utter, "Darling, it won't make any difference. I love you and that will never change!"

The couple had been married almost thirty years. They had had their problems, but were very much in love. "Nothing like this should ever happen to people at our ages," Archie thought!

"Dear one," she said. "This is unfair to you! I won't let you go through it with me. You can file for a divorce. I won't contest it!"

"Jan," he blurted, "what are you saying? It's not your breast I married. It was you. Wipe that awful thought out of your mind!"

"Archie, dear," she insisted. "You often said, my breasts were the most beautiful part of my body! Now, I'll be ugly. You'll hate even looking at me. I won't allow it. I've thought about this a lot since Dr. Benson gave me the news. This is what, to me, makes the most sense!"

"I won't have it!" Archie exclaimed forcefully. "There is much more to you than a body! You are a beautiful woman with a marvelous mind, a unique human being with admirable attributes. You are kind, loving, honest, intelligent, loyal. I grew to love you, the whole you, not just your body. What has happened will not change my feelings for you; it will only make them stronger!"

She was silent for a long while. He continued to hold her tightly in his arms. "Let's go to sleep now," Jan finally said. "Let's talk more about this in the morning. I'm sorry I brought this up now! I don't think either of us will get much sleep tonight."

She was right about sleep. Archie could feel Jan stirring uncomfortably for hours. As for him, his brain, semi-conscious, began rummaging through just about every experience they had ever had in their marriage. He finally fell asleep and dreamed a strange dream, and woke up audibly saying, "I'll do that! I'll do that!" Jan was not in bed. However, he could smell pancakes grilling in the kitchen.

A few moments later, Archie had joined Jan, she on one side of the kitchen table and he on the other. They were both in matching blue bathrobe's.

"How did you sleep, dear," he asked. She stared at him blankly, "I didn't sleep," she said sadly. "And you?"

"I fidgeted most of the night," he replied. "I hope I didn't keep you awake."

"No, you didn't, dear. I stayed awake anyway," she responded lethargically. "I haven't changed my mind about what I said last night. Dr. Benson said there was no guarantee that my other breast wouldn't be affected sometime in the future. You need to be free. I won't allow you to gape at me when I am so disfigured!"

"Darling," Archie said. "I had a weird dream last night. At least, I think it was a dream. It was so real, I felt it was really happening. When I, at last, fell asleep, a dark-haired woman, came to me and spoke. She said her name was Elizabeth Dyke. She said she had been the wife of Thomas Moore, an Irish poet. What she was saying, meant nothing to me. But she asked me to do something, and I said I would. She said it might be something that would help us get through this horrible ordeal that has suddenly been thrust upon us. Will you do what she suggested with me after breakfast?"

She didn't respond. She simply nodded her head, yes. They ate in silence. If it had been the day before, they would have been chatting animatedly during the entire time.

After breakfast, Jan and Archie sat at the computer, and looked up the name Elizabeth Dyke had mentioned, Thomas Moore. This name had been familiar to Jan and Archie, but they didn't know a great deal about him. They found that he lived from 1779 to 1852 and had achieved much fame as an Irish poet, song writer, singer, and entertainer. Around 1807, he met Elizabeth, a lovely actress, on one of his entertainment tours, and was smitten by her beauty and personality. It was expected they would marry one day. However, these plans were smashed when she suffered a bout with smallpox and was disfigured. Though Thomas Moore still desired to marry her, she refused claiming that she was no longer beautiful and he should never set eyes on her again. In desperation, Thomas wrote a poem entitled, Believe Me If All Those Endearing Young Charms, desiring to recite it to her and thus win her hand in marriage. Soon afterwards, he set it to music using a traditional Irish air. He finally had an opportunity to sing this song to the woman he loved. In doing this, he reassured her that his love for her had not been altered despite the fact that her face had changed in appearance. In 1811, they were married and lived happily together until his death in 1852. Elizabeth had suggested that Archie read, on the computer, with Jan, this story about her marriage to Thomas Moore.

These are the words of the poem:

Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms

Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,  
Which I gaze on so fondly today,  
Were to change by tomorrow, and fleet in my arms  
Like fairy-gifts, fading away!  
Thou wouldst still be adored as this moment thou art  
Let thy loveliness fade as it will;  
And, around the dear ruin, each wish of my heart  
Would entwine itself verdantly still!

It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,  
Or thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,  
That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known  
To which time can but make thee more dear!  
No! the heart that has truly loved, never forgets,  
But as truly loves on to the close;  
As the sun-flower turns to her god, when he sets  
The same look which she turned when he rose!

Jan made no comment indicating what effect this recitation had had. However, they continue to read, and she became as deeply engrossed in what they were learning, as Archie was. There came a time when they saw that the tune Thomas Moore had used for his song had also been used by Harvard University in their alma mater, entitled Fair Harvard in 1811 for the class of that year.

"We went to Harvard last year to visit my brother, Robert, who studied there," Jan commented. "Could it be that you learned a great deal about the story we have just read while we were there? Could it be that your recollection brought Elizabeth Dyke to your dream?"

"Darling, it is possible," Archie said, "but it's also possible that fate proclaimed from the beginning of time what all events were destined to be? If what I am saying, everything that has happened was preordained. I believe we were always destined to be together, and what is happening today, what is happening now, is to assure that what I am saying is true."

"Dearest," I continued, "No matter what happens, thou will still be adored by me, as at this moment thou art!"

"Darling, hold me!" she stated. "Love me! Love me forever no matter what happens!"

"I will," he promised.

Jan had her operation. No other was needed. They are happily married and live life to the fullest!

28. A Rolls with ESP

Date of Current Episode: July 20, 2060

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 69

Jan Robinson, Blond Hair, Born June 10, 1996, Blond, Age 54, Employed Sales

Consultant with office at home.

Henry, A Rolls Royce With ESP

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie purchased a Rolls Royce that had a mind of its own.

Archie, isn't it time we did something about Henry?" Jan said. "He's been in the garage almost ten years!"

"Yes, I think you're right!" Archie replied. "But, I have to admit, he has me bewildered, maybe even intimidated. In the meantime, he's happy in the garage, and I suppose he wouldn't mind if we just leave him alone!"

"He has a colorful manner of speaking," commented Jan. "When Henry said to you, ' When I jingle, I expect you to jangle!' you were shocked."

"His tone was harsh, not at all consistent with the manner an auto, even a Rolls Royce, should speak to its owner," said Archie.

"When I jingle, I expect you to jangle!" His tone had been harsh, not at all consistent with the manner an auto, even a Rolls Royce, should speak to its owner. This was the Rolls speaking. I had purchased him when I had become suddenly wealthy. Now, instead of my owning him, he had the gall to order me around! Unbelievable!"

"If you told the story, people wouldn't believe it," said Jan. It's a true story but you couldn't use the names of actual people, places, and things."

"I'm 69," said Archie. I had retired and wanted to try my hand at authoring. I wrote the book, Gone with the Windlass which caught the imagination of the English-speaking world. It sold so many millions of copies and we became wealthy overnight beyond my most unrestrained aspirations. Millions of dollars flowed into our coffers. I had no expectation of understanding exactly how much. It allowed me to return to my old hobby of enjoying old cars."

"I was so happy for you!" Jan said. A movie with the same title as the book was filmed and money poured in even faster. It was only natural that you should want to purchase the best car in the world, as Rolls Royce has always claimed being!"

Archie said, "It was built in 1939 with a body by Garpere of Paris. We had a home built in Los Angeles for ourselves, for Millie and her family, and many servants. The home had a three-car garage and I remodeled it so that the Rolls could occupy a prominent place. The garage was heated and I had an elaborate form of air conditioning to be built in. I loved the car and I would often go to the garage just to sit in it and smell the marvelous odors of select leather and walnut trim. Whenever I drove the car, I felt as if I was taking a short trip to Heaven!"

"Then something paranormal must have happened," Jan said. "Maybe I had something to do with what happened! You needed to give a talk in London and were gone three weeks. I had promised you to give Henry the best of care while you were gone! And I did!"

"And when I returned, I eagerly opened the door of the garage expecting to enjoy the vision of my beloved auto," interrupted Archie. There it was, as lovely as I remembered it. I entered and sat in the driver's seat expecting to enjoy a first ride since returning. It was then I received a message from the car by thought transmission! 'Not now! Archie!'"

Archie continued, "I thought my brain was playing tricks on me, and attempted to turn the key in the ignition. I couldn't do it! 'Not now! Archie,' was the message repeated. "I need to be driven by a chauffeur. It was the Rolls! I realized it was Henry speaking to me! This was a car with an ability to communicate with me through thought transference! Impossible, I thought. It was foolishness to believe an auto could do this!"

"What you're thinking is right, Archie," a thought came back. "While you were gone, I taught myself ESP. My name is Henry, after the renowned king. I'm a Rolls Royce. Rolls Royce autos are always driven by chauffeurs!"

Archie continued his story. "Exasperated, I exclaimed, 'Henry, I own you! You need to do my will! I cannot accept you as being Henry, the recalcitrant Rolls.'"

"What does that long word mean?" Henry inquired.

"Won't do it," I replied. "Who had ever heard of a car refusing to be driven by its owner?"

"Oh, no, Archie," Henry had responded tartly. "Rolls Royces are never owned. They only serve their chosen companions. For the present, you are my chosen companion. But please understand, this relationship is subject to change!" Archie stopped recounting as if overwhelmed by what he was recalling. Then, regaining his composure, Archie resumed speaking.

"Despite the fact that what had transpired was beyond belief, I stopped discussing the matter with Henry and hired a chauffeur. Now, I was able to take my first ride since returning from London. The chauffeur did a good job. I sat in the rear seat and enjoyed the ride immensely. When we returned, I asked the driver to park at the entrance to my home and dismissed him. Henry had sent me a thought message during the ride saying that he wanted to talk to me."

"Yes, I remember," Jan said. "It was audacious!"

Archie exclaimed, "Henry said, 'Where did that buffoon get his driver's license?' I did not hide my irritation and demanded, 'What's the problem?'"
29. Voyage to Mars

Time of Current Episode: January 1, 2092

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 100

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 95

Place: Outer Space between Earth and Mars

Synopsis of This Episode:

Jan and Archie have been selected by NASA to travel on first voyage to Mars. They have accepted.

A

## re you going to write the story of our trip," Jan asked Archie.

## "I guess that's the least we should do! he replied. "We didn't get any honors for our voyage. Maybe we'll get some from our story! This is the story he wrote and published in "Travel America".

My name is Archie Wilcox. I'm not an astronaut but Mrs. Wilcox and I are on our way to Mars. We left Earth on January 1, 2092. Today is March 1, 2092, and we're a little more than halfway to our destination. A great deal of progress was made last year in power generation and space technology. A new form of propulsion was discovered named fusion flame. A luxurious space vehicle was built by NASA, which enabled my wife and me to begin the trip and travel in relative comfort while underway.

The distance from Earth to Mars varies from moment to moment. The minimum distance between the two planets is about 40 million miles but in traveling from Earth to Mars, we'll need to travel many more than 40 million miles; actually about 150 million. Because of this, NASA chose a happily married couple to make the trip. My wife and I are living in a bullet-shaped vehicle that doubles as a spaceship and a luxurious home. It has every modern convenience that happy homeowners could wish for. We won't need to do any "driving" since our entire trip has been computer programmed. When we get to Mars, we'll simply orbit the planet allowing us to take thousands of photographs, then return home. There will be no landing. The entire trip was planned as a political coup. Several competing nations have been preparing to travel to Mars and our President decided it was imperative that our country be first. The voyage was begun even though the planning for it was only partially complete.

During the time the voyage was being planned, there was a contest throughout the United States to select the most eligible childless couple to go, Luckily, Jan and I were chosen. Millie was happily married with grandchildren. This made us childless so far as NASA was concerned.

It's been fun so far. On January 1, 2092, there was a short dash on a runway at Dallas airport. When Mars One reached a velocity of about two hundred miles per hour, it rotated skyward and escaped Earth's gravity within a few seconds. Our ship is traveling at about 25,000 miles per hour. Jan and I spend our time looking out the picture windows, enjoying elegant meals we prepare using the Fusion-powered range, reading, watching TV, listening to music, and, otherwise simply enjoying a life of leisure. We'll be returning to Dallas on or about March 1, 2093. We'll arrive at Mars on or about July 1, 2092. We'll need to stay in orbit with Mars for a few days before the window for a return trip to Earth opens. During those orbits we'll be enjoying the scenery and taking photos.

This trip is tedious despite the comforts. Jan and I knew this when we were chosen to make the trip, but it will all be worth it because of the service we're providing for humankind. I know Jan and I will be greatly honored when we return and I've been composing our arrival speech.

May 1, 2092.

Something important has happened since I wrote the first part of this story. After March 1, life continued happily until today. NASA hadn't told us, but several weeks after Jan and I had begun our trip, further advances in space technology were made and another couple was launched to travel to Mars. Their ship was Mars Two and it was twice as fast as ours. Around lunchtime, as we were looking out our starboard picture window, we suddenly observed Benny and Helen Brown looking out the picture window of another spaceship as it overtook and passed us on its way to Mars. We learned later that Benny and Helen were going to arrive at Mars well before us, and that our ship was being turned around for a return to Earth. This was disappointing but, at least, we thought, we'd arrive on Earth in plenty of time to get a small amount of glory.

May 15 2092.

Today, as we were speeding toward Earth, we were looking out the port window and unexpectedly saw Grace and George O'Brien looking out the starboard window of still another spaceship headed toward Mars. This was Mars Three. Even further advancements had been made in technology and this ship was much faster than Mars Two. It was going to arrive at Mars before Mars Two. The latter ship had also been turned to return to Earth. This was bad news but we thought we'd arrive back on Earth first.

June 1, 2092.

Alas, this will not happen. We've just seen Mars Two forging ahead of us on the way back to Earth. A few days from now, Mars Three will go by in the same direction. NASA told us that, actually, Mars Three will be first to arrive at Dallas. This will be on July 1. Grace and George O'Brien will get all the honors. Three weeks later, Mars Two will land. Jan and I won't get back until September 1, 2092. Our ship has been declared obsolete. There will be no welcoming ceremonies for us. What is worse, our ship will not even land at Dallas. As a convenience to NASA, it will be redirected and parked at a storage yard in Houston.

NASA had scheduled our return to Dallas to be by bus but, at our own expense!

30. Some Philosophic Thoughts

On a Bus Headed for Dallas

Time of Current Episode: September 1, 2092

The Players:

Archie Wilcox, Born May 16, 1991, Age 101

Jan Robinson, Born June 10, 1996, Age 96

Place: Ridgewood, Ohio

Synopsis of this Episode:

Archie and Jan discuss their lives together as they ride to Dallas on a bus.

Archie and Jan were still having trouble getting used to trains, planes, buses, and cars that crowded the streets and skies without engineers, pilots, and drivers. Nevertheless, they were able to board a vehicle that allowed them to step inside a bus-like vehicle that would take them to Dallas.

When they found a seat, they sank into its comfort intending to enjoy the trip. "Are you disappointed, dear?" asked Jan.

"I suppose I should be," Archie responded, "but I'm really not! You and I have had a wonderful experience with our failed trip, but we gained a great deal! Not a lot of people have had the adventure of learning what space is like. I'm one-hundred-and-one years old. What other person my age has had the magnificent opportunity I've had? How did NASA know I'd survive the trip, and you're ninety-five. It's been marvelous for you too!"

"Yes, I am ninety-six!" Jan chimed in. "With all the stuff people have nowadays to keep them alive, it seems all one has to do to keep living is avoid getting into an accident."

"But NASA provided for the unlikely event that one of us might die," he commented.

"Well, it was going to be a long trip!" Jan said. "There had to be some provision for this."

"I thought the provision was a little on the gruesome side," commented Archie. "That cavity on the floor at this the port side of the cabin unnerved me to some extent when they explained it. There was enough room in there for exactly two people!"

"Yeah, the cavity was refrigerated. Somebody could be put in there, and it could be used for a normal funeral upon the return of the spaceship."

"It's the other purpose that bothered me," said Archie. "There was a switch inside that place, when activated, would automatically open a bottom lid, and the contents, whether with one body or two, would fall out into space."

"If the body that fell out was alive at the time," asked Jan, "and was human, how long would he or she live? Do you know?"

"Yes, a person would die from suffocation within a couple of minutes. He or she would not explode as some people think. After a while, the individual would become an icicle and just go drifting out in space forever!"

"I guess the idea was the surviving person might be so grieved, he or she wouldn't want to live without the other person, and would prefer death. Let's get off this gloomy topic," suggested Jan. "You always loved life!"

"Yes I did," said Archie, "but sometimes I misused it!"

"I think I know what you mean," said Jan. "You misbehaved at times, but were always sorry, and we would try again!"

"And you would always take me back!"

"We were very much in love. What had happened in the past was not important anymore!"

"Our love grew stronger ever day," Archie said.

"I knew you were of fine quality, and was worth taking back," Jan said. "Besides, I was no angel myself! There was that time when I said I didn't want to be married anymore! That was one time when you took me back!"

"There was no other choice for me," said Archie. "Trying to live without you would have been impossible!"

Jan said, "We've lived a long life together. People are living longer, so it shouldn't be any great surprise that in 2092, both our ages would be near the century mark. I know I made mistakes in my life, but you'll probably admit you also did in yours. We broke apart at times, but then reunited. I think we were made for each other!"

"I agree with you," said Archie. "As you reflect, what are some of the things, or events that come quickly to mind?"

"I think of the time we first started dating. You were a great fan of automobiles. I remember that red roadster that you drove on our first date. You are wearing a hairpiece. The wind was blowing. You got so afraid that your hairpiece would fly away. And it did! You wore a hairpiece for many years in your life. It never mattered much to me whether you did or not. I told you that it's not what's on your head that was important, but what's inside!"

"And I also think about that Rolls-Royce that is still in our garage," she continued. "I am a psychic, and that should believe in the paranormal behavior, but it's so unusual to know that a mechanical thing like an automobile has the ability to think!"

Archie said, "We're just leaving it there. It seems satisfied with just lying around doing nothing. Maybe, when we get back home, I'll go to see him, and see if he is willing to resume the relationship we had. I would enjoy a ride in that old Rolls Royce."

"This reminds me of that cup I bought," Jan said. "Do you remember where we put it? We agreed, we'd never look at it again. It was so weird!"

"Oh yes," said Archie. "It knew what was going to happen in the future! I remember being scared of it! Could we have made a mistake? Could the whole thing have been a bad dream?"

"I don't think so," Jan said musingly. "I truly do believe it was something out of this world! No pun intended! We decided not to destroy that wicked thing, but I never want to see it again. I'm glad we've forgotten where we put it! I can't help shivering as we talk about it!"

"Speaking of weird," said Archie. "There was that time when a bad witch change you into a coffee cup. That has to be the weirdest thing that ever happened to one of us!"

"You're right! Archie," Jan said. "As I sit here, I just can't accept that I was nothing but a coffee cup at one time. And it had been all my fault! I shouldn't have said what I did to that awful witch."

"Let's change the subject," Archie suggested. "Jan, what good things do you remember about, as you look back?"

"I remember you are quite a poet," she said. "You wrote beautiful poetry for me on several occasions."

"It was easy to write poetry for a beautiful woman," Archie said.

"You're sweet!" Jan said. "I have thought that from our very first date."

"It's very generous of you to say that," Archie said. "I don't deserve it!"

"Don't be silly, Archie. Say, do you remember the Absolutely Girl?" Jan asked brightly. "You could have written a poem about her! She was so cute!"

"Yes, she absolutely was," Archie said, grinning. "We did had many exciting events happening in our lives, didn't we? You are in danger a couple of times. You remember?"

"I sure do!" Jan said. "There was that time when I was in my house minding my own business, and not guy from outside suddenly appeared. That was the time when an imaginary dog saved me! And there was another event long after that one when I came home from shopping and there was this guy already there waiting for me!"

"What was that memorable remark you made?" Asked Archie. "It was a classic!"

"He said, something like, "'This is not going to be a good day for you, woman!'"

"Both times it was your quick thinking that saved you," said Archie.

"I guess those were times when it's OK to lie a little!"

"In order to save your life," commented Archie, "I would say it's OK to lie a lot!"

"I can't help but think about the awful times we've had with illnesses," said Jan. "That problem with our kidneys was one of the worst!"

"But it worked out!" said Archie.

"And the mastectomy!" Jan added.

"That worked out also," Archie said. "You were afraid of how it would affect our relationship! It had no effect at all!"

"I think the conversation we had that night when we were both so sleepy was so romantic!" Jan said.

"I agree with you!" said Archie. "Our lives seem to have been filled with exciting events!"

"Even a trip headed toward Mars!" said Jan. "It's a shame it was never completed. Now that we have some free time, what do we do now?" she asked.

"Keep living as we have," replied Archie. "Keep living, keep loving, keep enjoying life for rest of our life, however long that may be."

"I can't think of anything better!" said Jan.

