One... Two... Three... Fworh...
Ya dink I take out da trash,
den u get no spendin cash,
ya ain't ganna rack no more no more, yakety yak...
Alright, I just finished my showah,
and naow it's tyme to game!
And tonite I've gat a special game.
PREDATOR: HUNTING GROUNDS!
A game based on the best action movie ever in Hollywood!
PREDATOR!
An alien organism against a
group of badass action heroes!
Who's going to win?
Furst, we gat to do mission planning
you don't want what happened to me 
& my team in the movie.
We gat put into a meat grinder from a story that was cooked up by Dillun!
That CIA kaksocker, Dillun! You sonova beech...
Here we are in da choppa.
With my new teammates
But where's da trash talking?
Who's gonna be the sexual dainosawr?
Where's mac & billeeee?
Where's da pecs?
Where's Shane Black and his pussee jokes?
Basically,
our mission is us versus the guerilla fighturs.
plus we gotta deal with the predator before we get to the chappar to get out of heere.
Let's kavar ourselves in mud, we know the predator can't see shit with the mud.
Look at these guys, haha,
They can't see me too! I feel like dutch again!
I made short work of them...
Alright, there are all dead, so what we gotta do nao is loot to this place like the movie.
We need to push in intel that some asshole CIA guy
That is always pushing too many pencils in their tiny neckties needs!
Let's get this for Colonel Harper!
He seemed like a naise gai.
Oh look! The guerillas are back for moar!
KAMAN, I'M HERE KILL ME,
What are you?
Who am I?
I'm your wurst naightmare!
Haha! Look at this guy...
Bye yasshole!
I'm the killa from California!
Here's Jean Claude Van Damm in his lobstar suit!
That was sum Predator trivia for yoo
JCVD was supposed to be
in the lobstar suit or as the Predator.
Imagine the Predator doing
spinning kicks!
That would have been awsum!
WTH?!
The Predator ran away, KILL ME, COME ON, I'M HERE!
Come with me if ya want ta kill...
Where is the option to take mah shurt off?
YOU SET US UP AGAIN!
I need ya clothes,
ya sandals
ya fishnet
ya mask
and da keys to ya spaceship...
The Predator is down! Of course!
What is he doing?
Crying to his mommy Predator?
OH!, HE AKTIVATED HIS NUKLIER BAMB?!
HELP ME!
KAMAN!
Alright guys, I'm gonna need 200%
NO BULLSHIT OKAY!
THIS IS SERIOUS...
because my character was not Dutch...
That's why I died...
What do we have here?
REWARDS!?
Look what we gat...
Sum weapwn skinz,
Camelflarge....
Warpaint...
but no mud? That's terrible.
LONG TIME, NO SEE!
HELLO THERE!
YOU'RE ONE UGLY MOTHERPUAKA
Ohkay here we go again!
THREE PURPLE LOOT FOR ME? THAT'S GREAT, THAT'S RARE!
and the guy on the right looks
like me but not as handsome.
Now that we've played as the hoomans,
we can also play as the Predator!
Look at all these weapwns!
That's alat of weapwns!
WHAT IS DIS?!?! WHAT DA HELL IS DIS?!
A PREDATOR DILDO?!
Maria! Where are you?!
 
What can the Predator do?
Wow! A medkit! There's too many options!
Guess who's more badass?
Me? or the Predator?
Obviously, you can see that this
Predator needs to get to the gym!
Look at his puny arms! They should have asked me to be the Predator in this game!
I would totally be a badass Predator!
For the hooman team...
We've gat gunz and....
That's basically it.
Where's the bow and arrow?!
Let's get dis party started!
What's better than a male
Predator that didn't go to the gym?
OBVIOUSLY A FEMALE PREDATOR!
LOOK AT HER GO!
She's tearing these guys a new yasshole!
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of the men!
Okay, I'm going to be very quiet nao!
Let's sneak up on dis gais.
Oh no, they gat me! Let's get this party started!
Screw you!
Shtap it!
SHTAP IT!
If ya nat ganna listen then to hell with you!
Fak Yu yasshole! GETAFFAME
YA COLD-BLOODED BASTED
I'M GOING TO RAM MY FIST INTO YOUR STOMACH AND BREAK YA GADDAM SPINE
NO GUTS, NO GLORY
TOHELLWITHU
STAHP SHOOTING MEEEE I'M ALREADY DEAD!!!
YOU SET US UP AGAIN!
Where's the optio to take my shirt off?
That was exciting...
My nipples are very sensitive nao...
I'm ganna make sum men bliiiiid!
YA COLD-BLOODED BASTED, GETAFFAME
I've got a surprise for them...
here you go...
you get a tumour, everybady gets a tumour
NO GATS, NO GLOOOORY.
NO GATS, NO GLORRR!
NO GUTS NO GLORY!
COME WITH ME IF YA WANT TA KILL
FAKYUYASSHOLE, ITS A NUKLIER BAMB!!!
Those gais have runned away? WTH?
Now get ya ass to the deadzone!
Game over, man, game over!
Alright... Time foar my review!
I give Predator: Hunting Grounds, 3 out of 5 laughs...
 
out of...
 
That was a load of laffs
If I was in the game as Dutch, the game wouldn't be fair!
Dutch would win! Everytaime with da bow and arrow!
some trees and da rawk!!
Shane Black should write some jokes for this game too!
So gais...
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