

#### Happy Valentine's Day

#### by David J. Wighton

#### 

#### Book #25 in the Wilizy Series

###

### Smashwords Edition

### Copyright 2020, David J. Wighton

###

### This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy.

### Although this e-book might be sold at no cost to the reader at times, I retain ownership of the copyright and may elect to charge a small amount for its purchase at times.

### Thank you for respecting my copyright.

# Acknowledgements

Cover design by Rita Toews at E-Book Covers, East St. Paul, Manitoba.

**Parent and Reader Advisory**

This is a work of FICTION which, at times may depict the government and people of Montana in a negative light. There is no resemblance between the descriptions in this novel and the real Montana and the real citizens.

# Wilizy Family Members as of May 2092

• Doc and Granny, about 81 years old.

• Hank (about 50) and Yolanda (about 46).

• Wolf (27), Mac (27), Jock Jr. (7), Emily (6), Jock Sr. (57).

• William (26), Melissa (26), Will & Izzy (7), MayaLou (5).

• Yollie (25), TG (27), Liset (12), Yo-Yo (8), Hank (6), Ivanika (6).

• Wizard (24), Dreamer (22), Wanda (62).

• Lucas (21), Lylah and Lohla (21).

• Theo (20), Nary (21), Marie (about 82).

• Mathias (19), Kashmira (19).

• Reese (17), Winnie (16).

• Maddy (12)

• Stu McKenzie (51), Momaka (47), Petro (5).

• Cassie (the ghost).

• Cowboy (27), Bean (25).

**Main Afterlife Characters**

• Arthur, Paula, Meghan, Keely, Lillian, and Joe-Joe.

• Charles Ponzi and Harold T. Wittleston (Wytlss).

**Other Characters**

• Billings: The Dandy family: Andy, Brandy, Candy, Fine'n, and Jim.

• Helena: Meifeng Li and her father.

• Surrey: Gordon, Suzie and Tony Fortuna.

• Fanny Fandigity and Molly Moonblossom.

# Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Books in the Wilizy Series

About the Author: David J. Wighton

# Chapter 1

"Your dad gave you a picture of a teenage girl without any clothes on?" Maddy asked incredulously.

"Yes," Meifeng answered.

"And the picture was of you?"

"Yes. It was definitely me."

"How'd he get it?"

"I don't know."

### # # # # # # # #

The story behind this exchange began on September 13, 2092. Maddy had settled into the routine of grade 6 classes at Castle Rock. She had chosen this Saturday to begin her investigation into why two of Castle Rock's students had felt it was necessary to leave Billings suddenly last summer. She had found Meifeng's restaurant easily enough - there was only one Chinese restaurant in Helena.

Maddy figured that the easiest time to talk with Meifeng would be early in the afternoon while they were preparing for the evening rush. When she arrived, the restaurant was still closed for business, but she could see Meifeng at the service counter working at the cash register. She rapped on the glass door and waved when Meifeng raised her head. Maddy was not expecting to see a look of horror cross Meifeng's face. Her arms motioned wildly, GET AWAY FROM HERE!

Maddy shifted position down the sidewalk so that she couldn't be seen from the restaurant. Ten minutes later, Meifeng emerged clutching some cloth shopping bags. "I'm going to the grocery store," she said to the open door, shut it, locked it, and then scanned for Maddy. "You can't be here," she whispered as she walked briskly by her.

Maddy joined in on the walk and the whispering. "I came alone. I wanted to see you."

"I have thirty minutes to complete the shopping. I have to be back in the restaurant by then. If my dad hears about me talking with a blonde stranger, I'm in even worse trouble than I am now. You have to leave. Get away from me before anybody sees you."

"Nobody is on the street."

"There are windows. Get away from me."

Maddy dropped back a few paces but kept up the conversation. "I'll leave Helena and come back tonight when it's dark. Nobody will be able to see us meeting. Give me a time and place. You're obviously in trouble. I can help you."

"Nobody can help me."

"I can try."

"Knock on the back door of the restaurant at 10:30 tonight. My dad will be back at his home by then."

### # # # # # # # #

Maddy tapped on the restaurant's back door at 10:30 and Meifeng was there waiting. She led Maddy down a flight of stairs to a tiny basement storage room. One entire wall was full of shelves holding cans and cloth bags of food. A cot was set up against the opposite wall. Near the cot were a half dozen cardboard boxes holding neatly folded clothes. A clothesline was attached to the rafters of the floor above and stretched the full length of the room. It held hangers of Meifeng's clothes plus some other clothes that were drying. An obvious conclusion came to mind.

"You're living in the basement of the restaurant?"

"Yes."

"Where's your bathroom?"

"Public washroom upstairs."

"Shower? Bath? Laundry?"

"I use the sinks in the kitchen."

"Why aren't you living at your home?"

"This is my home now."

"Why?"

"My dad gave me a picture of a teenage girl who didn't have any clothes on."

"Your dad gave you a picture of a teenage girl without any clothes on?" Maddy asked incredulously.

"Yes," Meifeng answered.

"And the picture was of you?"

"Yes. It was definitely me."

"How'd he get it?"

"I don't know."

"Did you ask him?"

"No. He doesn't speak to me any more. When he wants me to know something, he writes it down on a message board upstairs."

"Why?"

"I dishonored my family. The day I turn sixteen, I will have to leave Helena and never come back."

"Why?"

"He thinks that I'm a whore. Because of the picture."

Maddy wasn't the kind of girl to erupt into tears, nor was she the kind of girl who thought positively about girls that did. Meifeng was an exception. She was a friend that helped her learn how to cook. Maddy tried her best to console her but she didn't know what to say or do. Meifeng took care of that by grabbing Maddy in a big bear hug. They ended up lying on the cot with Meifeng providing some salt water pre-washing to Maddy's shirt. Doing nothing and saying nothing did the trick. They moved up to the restaurant for a more wordy conversation.

### # # # # # # # #

"You know about Andy, right?"

"Yah. He's the captain of the football team at Skyview. He's a bully."

"Yes. I think that he's the one who gave my dad that picture. There's no other explanation."

"Are you sure your dad had a picture of you? How did you find out?"

"He gave it to me just before he stopped talking to me."

"How did he get it?"

"He won't say."

"Do you know where it was taken?"

"There is only one place in Billings where I ever had all my clothes off and that was my bedroom at home. Maddy, when I think of Andy being in my bedroom and going through my drawers and setting up a hidden camera, it makes me want to puke."

"Why won't your dad talk to you about it?"

"My dad believes that I took a nude selfie and gave it to my boyfriend. He thinks that only a brazen whore would do that. He had to leave Billings because I had shamed the family name. This Helena restaurant is nowhere near as good as what we had in Billings. We owned that building. Now, we're struggling to earn enough money to pay the rent on this shack. He blames me for the move and everything that has happened since. I can't claim that the picture isn't of me, because it is."

"Did you have a boyfriend in Billings?"

"No, but my dad is convinced that I did. How do I prove that I didn't have a boyfriend?"

"And you suspect that Andy took the picture."

"Yes. I don't know how he did that, but I do know that Andy made my skin crawl whenever he looked at me. He was always the one who came for his family's take out order. He'd stare at my body the whole time he was waiting."

### # # # # # # # #

Change of scene: It's the same day, but we're in Hell. Ponzi is reporting to Satan.

"The Cops of the Cosmos told me that a delegation from the home planet has asked the Cops to establish a transportation portal linking the home planet's spaceship to a destination of your choice in Hell. What am I supposed to say to them?"

"This can't be good," Satan replied.

It certainly wasn't going to be good for Satan. The delegation thanked him for his years of service and wished him well in his retirement years. New Satan inherited Old Satan's wealth. On Earth, inheriting wealth typically happens when somebody dies. The same is true for upper management devils.

### # # # # # # # #

_[Narrator Interlude: Two afterlife species provided the good and evil components of the mortal afterlife. Angels with their feathery finery were on the good side. They afterlived in Heaven and their job was to help Earth's citizens work their way past their violent past and become accepted into the Cosmos as a civilized planet. Civilized planets follow the rules and don't kill people in other planets. The leaders of Heaven were known as the 'Inner Circle.' The angel species originated in a home planet known as Angelion._

_Devils with their scaly scabbiness were on the bad side. They afterlived in Hell and their job was to make it difficult for Earth to become accepted in the Cosmos as a civilized planet. The leaders of Hell were known as the 'Inner Pentagon'. The devil species originated in a home planet known as Lucifus._

_The planet Angelion was generally well regarded across the Cosmos. They kept to themselves and never had any serious conflicts with other planets. In keeping with their good guy image, Angels always wore white feathers. In fact, they never wore any other color of feather for reasons that have been lost in time._

_Although the planet Lucifus had reached civilization status, nobody could figure out how they had done that. The most common word associated with their planet was 'evil.' The inhabitants of Lucifus had no reservations about doing anything illegal provided they didn't get caught. They managed to keep their planet in the Cosmos by accepting Cosmos assignments that nobody else would touch. If they happened to stray outside the moral guidelines of the Cosmos from time to time, it was easier for the Cosmos to ignore their stench by stuffing a mattress up their collective nostrils than to start a messy investigation into whether the planet should continue to exist._

### # # # # # # # #

Date: September 13, 2092 Earth time:

Memo from New Satan to the Cops of the Cosmos

Please be aware that the former Satan will be returning to Lucifus today via the portal you provided to our orbiting space ship. Please keep this portal open after the ship departs. Other senior devils may also choose to take early retirement. Be assured that Hell's new administration will continue to abide by the current Heaven-Hell treaty.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 2

The news about Hell's new administration reached Heaven via Meghan's spies by the following weekend. Lillian called for a meeting with Paula, Arthur, Meghan and Winnie. Joe-Joe and Keely were also present in Joe-Joe's workshop.

Lillian began by informing them about the two home planets, interstellar space ships, and transportation portals She has now turned her attention to the news out of Hell.

"What happened in Hell after the departure of the former Satan, Meghan?"

"Satan's departure is being referred to officially as a retirement plan."

"It's a permanent retirement," Joe-Joe amended. "There may be a mockery of a trial on Lucifus but the outcome is guaranteed. We can expect the new Satan to establish order very quickly."

"I haven't heard of anything about that yet. There's a lot of fear through. Some important devils have been wondering if their comments against the old Satan had been caught on tape. All of Hell's operation on Earth have virtually stalled. Assistant devils have been asking for instructions and nobody knows what to tell them."

"What's Hell's financial status now?" Keely asked Meghan.

"All their outstanding bills have been paid from the stolen gold that we gave them. I've haven't heard of any action yet on restoring their repositories. They continue to mine gold as quickly as they can."

"Do you want me to look around purgatory.net?" Winnie asked.

"Not a good idea with a new man in charge," Joe-Joe warned. "Let things settle down first."

Meghan introduced a new topic. "A dozen large metal crates were off-loaded from the orbiting space ship through the portal before it left for Lucifus. They ended up in the Personnel Cavern and are unopened. I've asked my guy to keep an eye on them."

"About orbiting space ships. Was that bubble where we met in June for our planning meeting..."

"Yes," Lillian answered Paula. "That was Heaven's Angelion.52, an Oxygen Class space ship. It's always on station, orbiting above detection levels. We use spheres instead of rockets for our ships. It makes for a much more comfortable ride."

### # # # # # # # #

"OK, you have found some very disturbing things. Your friend has a nude picture that somebody took of her. That means there was a spy camera in her room when they lived in Billings. What will you do now?"

This was Cowboy talking shop with Maddy over supper. Bean wasn't at the table any longer. She had bolted when Maddy described how Meifeng had been unable to talk about the nude picture without breaking down in tears. Cowboy and Maddy were cut from the same cloth. Cold, but deadly. Bean was deadly too but was not as dispassionate about crimes against women. She was currently in the basement looking for her sniper's rifle.

"I need to break into Meifeng's old house in Billings and look for a camera."

"What if the camera is disguised as something else? You have no experience with spy cameras. You don't know what to look for."

"What should I do?"

"There is an answer."

"That's all you're going to say?"

"If you don't have a dead possum, try looking for a dead skunk."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Why does that surprise you?" Bean asked as she brought her sniper's rifle into the kitchen and began to oil it.

### # # # # # # # #

The Nemeses were in the process of fine-tuning their _Kill a Pervert_ operations. Somebody would stick a pin in a global map. Reese would sling to the closest big city and look at faces for a couple of days. He'd choose the worst colored man and trail him to his home. Kashmira and Reese would go back in time and travel with him as he moved about the city. With his colors, he wouldn't be inactive for long. They took enough pictures to be sure of his guilt.

Doc and Reese would kidnap the pervert and keep him unconscious with William's flashlight until he was in the courtroom. Cassie would lay out the charges and if he spoke English, she would ask him how he pleaded. Then, she would show him the visual evidence. The defendant was given a chance to explain himself. Reese would render a judgment and then leave the courtroom to confer with the prosecuting attorney and the defense attorney who did not have a speaking role in the trial. Kashmira would sing the pervert to death. She wanted the other three out of the room so that she didn't have to worry about any spillage.

If the predator didn't speak English, Doc had signs prepared for every main language. On-line translators were easy to use and it's not like they had a lot to say to the man. This week's predator used to live in Buenos Aires. They'd take the next week off and then Reese would go predator hunting again.

Four secrets were being maintained within the group. As part of the process, Doc reported the name and location of their current target to Keely who would confirm that the man was worthy of their attention. No other Nemeses knew about Keely. As to Kashmira, the other nemeses knew that she was singing them to death and all agreed that it was a fitting fate. They didn't know that Kashmira was getting encouragement and advice from a male voice that we know was Joe-Joe's, but Kashmira didn't know that.

They all knew about Cassie and how she was a ghost hoping to get into Heaven. They didn't know that during her spare time, Cassie was wandering around the never-never land that existed between death and the entrance into the after life looking for other ghosts. On this venture, she was being guided by Keely. And Reese? Nobody knew that Reese had seen real angels and devils in action. Four nemeses; four secrets.

### # # # # # # # #

"Maddy!" William expressed his surprise at seeing who was opening the door and peeking in. "Come on in."

Not one to beat about the bush when she was on an operation, Maddy got right down to it. "I'm working on an operation with Cowboy and Bean. They know that I'm here."

"OK."

"I have a favor to ask."

"Shoot."

"I need something that will detect a spy camera. Is this something that you can invent?"

"A box is on the top of the shelf behind you. Bring it down."

"A flashlight?"

"A special flashlight. It does more than detect spy cameras. I'll show you."

...

"How about something that will unlock doors?"

"Will there be people inside at the time?"

"No."

"Will there be an alarm system?"

"I don't believe so."

"Bottom shelf, far right. Bring one over. I'll show you how to operate it."

...

"That's easy to use."

"It used to be noisy, but I fixed that."

"Thanks. You won't snitch on me, right."

"If Cowboy wants you to have these, then no, I won't snitch."

"Thanks. You've been a great dead skunk."

"I don't think that anybody has ever thanked me that way. What's a dead skunk?"

"If you don't have a dead possum, try looking for a dead skunk."

"You've been hanging around Cowboy too long."

"I don't even know what a possum is. I only know that what I wanted to try wouldn't work. So I thought of trying something very similar but slightly different. You're my dead skunk. See?"

"Gawd, help us. Cowboy's sayings can make sense."

### # # # # # # # #

We're back to Billings and the kitchen table. Cowboy is receiving the report from his undercover agent.

"I didn't find a hidden camera in Meifeng's old house."

"So, we don't know if Andy took the picture of her without any clothes."

"Who else would have done it? It has to be him."

"That won't stand up in court. A good defense lawyer will ask you about the camera. What did it look like? How did Andy get it? Do you know the answers to those questions?"

"No."

"Do you think that Andy Dandy knows anything about spy cameras?"

"No. He's a dummy."

"That probably rules him out. He didn't take the picture. Somebody else must have. What will you do next?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 3

"Angelion.52's captain reported that Trident.6 had sent a double ping last night," Joe-Joe told Lillian as she was finishing her morning workout.

"Are they gone now?"

"Yes. They're on course for Lucifus."

"Anything unusual to report so far?"

"Angelion.52's captain reported that Trident.6 used a devil body for torpedo practice after they cleared the solar system."

"Guess they didn't want to go to the fuss of having a trial."

### # # # # # # # #

Narrator Interlude: _Trident.6 was the name of Lucifus' spaceship that had entered into an orbit around the Earth. Given the distance it had to travel from Lucifus, it was one of their most advanced long distance ships. The number 6 on the ship's hull indicated that this was the sixth such ship that Lucifus had built since the planet had been accepted into the Cosmos centuries ago. Other planets would have hundreds of long distance space ships in operation by now. Lucifus had six._

_Planets within the Cosmos were connected together economically by a large number of trade treaties. If Planet X didn't have something that they needed, some planet in the Cosmos would have it and they'd trade it to planet X for something that Planet X had in surplus. Inhabitants of Lucifus lived comfortable lives from their trade agreements as provided by its thirteen short distance space ships. With one restriction._

_Pretend that you are Planet X. A well known evil planet is asking you to trade a modern space ship with modern weapons to them. What would you do? You would probably decline that trade offer. And that's what all the other planets did. Consequently, Lucifus had to build its own spaceships with equipment and technology that they had on their home planet. They chose the trident as their vehicle design for public relations purposes. The words 'evil' and' trident' go together like the words 'untrustworthy' and 'politicians.' Their ships were intended to convince their population that Lucifus was as good as the other planets in the galaxy. This media spin worked, provided that their population didn't know anything about the other planets and what kind of space ships they had._

### # # # # # # # #

For Maddy, the Castle Rock grade 6 girls' soccer team had taken over her life. She had never played the sport before and that meant that her soccer ball dribbling skills would not impress anybody, especially an opposing player who would strip the ball from her and take off and score. But the team did need a goalie and the two other girls that were trying out for that position were afraid of the ball. As long as it was a soft lob into their hands, they could stop it. Otherwise, they'd wave at the ball and then examine their fingernails to make sure that all ten were still intact. Maddy would dive for the ball. The coach made the easy decision. But the net was wide, and Maddy had to learn how to use the angles to narrow the shooting zone.

After outdoor practice was over, Michelle and Linda, two of the girls from her class, joined Maddy in the gym for goalie practice. They'd drag a soccer net inside, put down gym mats for cushioning purposes, and then kick soccer balls at her for an hour. The coach gave them instructions on how to set up easy to hard goalie drills and left them alone in the gym. Cowboy or Bean would pick up the three girls at 5:30 and get them home. Maddy had homework immediately after dinner, and an early bedtime was put into effect so that her body could recover from all of her dives and flights into the air. There simply wasn't time for her to think about how she was going to help Meifeng.

School itself was going well for her. She was making friends with other girls in her class, partly because of the soccer, but also because Maddy was friendly and happy now that she was in a classroom with girls in it. As to Candy Dandy, she was in another grade 6 class. Candy was on the soccer team too in the position of full back. So far, she hadn't done anything nasty or said anything nasty to her. This coming weekend, the girls' soccer team was having a tournament against Riverside and two teams from Missoula. Maddy was looking forward to playing against her friends from Riverside and beating them.

### # # # # # # # #

You may have wondered why the Lucifus space ship had done something called a double ping before it left station outside of Earth. No, this had nothing to do with a four-year-old dog wielding two Ping-Pong bats.

Space ships have a weak laser beam that allows them to determine how distant another ship is. The beam hits the distant ship and bounces back to the originating ship. When it hits and bounces, it makes a noise and that noise is called a _ping_. A double ping means that the ship that sent that beam did so intentionally. The double ping was a warning. In this case, it was a warning that Trident.6 was powering up and would be leaving its current orbit.

With civilized planets, hundreds of spaceships could enter and leave a planet's orbit during a day. Those spaceships would be under the control of the planet's docking crew. They would give the ship instructions about what docking station to use and how to get there. Uncivilized planets had neither docking stations nor docking crews. Visiting space ships would received automated warning notices that no speeding was allowed, and they had to park far enough away from Earth so that they couldn't be detected. If you're wondering about the numerous sightings of flying saucers back in the 1900s, these were real flying saucers driven by teenagers from civilized planets taking their parent's space ship for a night of joy riding around pre-civilized planets. Teenagers are teenagers no matter what species they are.

### # # # # # # # #

"We can't continue like this," Winnie said to Arthur at breakfast.

"What? Eating oatmeal? I like oatmeal and it's something that I can cook."

"No, not oatmeal. Worse."

"My oatmeal is bad? I thought you liked it."

"I do like it. I meant that the problem we have is more important than our breakfasts. Don't you remember last night?"

"We kissed a lot and then we went to bed like we've been doing. Blanket between us and all."

"With no operations to run, we've been spending a lot of time kissing."

"I know. Isn't that great?"

"Lillian doesn't have anything for us to do. I asked."

"Indefinite leave in Heaven. What could be better?"

"I think that we should be doing other things together. We have too much free time. We're kissing all the time."

"It's not all the time. We agreed that we'd only climb into the hammock five times during the day."

"But, we're staying in them longer each time."

"How's that a bad thing?"

"It will be a bad thing if we continue. I'm going home for a visit."

"But I can't go with you."

"I know. I'm telling you this because I didn't want you to think that I didn't like it."

"Didn't like what?"

"Do you remember that Lillian warned us that things can happen in the night that feel like dreams but aren't."

"Yeah. So?"

"You don't remember last night at all, do you?"

"I remember that I had a good sleep."

"Arthur, you reached second base last night. I didn't send you back to the dugout. That's my fault. I have to find out how to... how not to... I have to be alone for a while."

"Tell me this at least. Did I enjoy being on second?"

"You had a big goofy smile on your face when I rolled you over."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 4

Last week of September.

Winnie spent three days with her parents before concluding that what she had wanted to do wouldn't be possible. She had visited with all of her siblings' families, and focused on the women. (What she wanted to ask wasn't suitable for male ears.) The more she talked with Mac, Melissa, Granny, her mom, Yollie and even Momaka, the more Winnie learned that talking with one of them was akin to talking with them all. Even Lohla and Lylah were part of Gossip Central now.

Kashmira was the only woman in camp not hooked into Gossip Central. They had a nice conversation about her home decorating plans and her plans to marry Mathias, but other than that, Kashmira was very reluctant to get into a long conversation. Winnie decided that Kashmira was not the one that she could ask, mostly because she was only a few years older than Winnie.

Winnie had a pleasant afternoon with Doc who talked about his fishing. He was still feeling weak at times, which meant that when he had to nap, he really had to nap. That cut the visit short. Winnie pretended to believe the lie that was showing clearly on his face.

Naturally, Gossip Central had reported on Maddy's departure to Billings because of the boys in the cadet camp. Other than that, they couldn't say much about Maddy's life. That lead Winnie to consider how far away Billings was, and how Bean and Cowboy liked to have a private life. She told her mom that she was going to wander around Montana and perhaps see what Billings was like. Perhaps do some shopping. The GPS on her sling would tell her mom where she was, so she might as well be upfront with her destination.

Naturally, after she left, speculation about Winnie rose exponentially. Why was she looking so tired? Was she perhaps unhappy? Did anybody find out if she had a steady boyfriend? What about her work? Was she still at the security company? Why was she really back in Montana? Nobody thought to ask about her life on the baseball diamond.

### # # # # # # # #

As soon as Winnie had departed, Kashmira hopped into her sling and hit the express route button to New York. Doc was already there, believing that the secret of his new body was still safely hidden from Winnie. Cassie and Reese showed up late with both of them concerned about their target, a Syrian woman named Reem who received kidnapped white girls and sold them to the highest bidder.

There was no question about her guilt. Doc and Kashmira had established that conclusively. Reese's concerns were focused on her solid black colors. Reese had seen those same colors before in Loveland emanating from a devil's face. Cassie didn't know about colors, but she was concerned why this woman would smell so differently from other Syrian women.

Doc and Reese knew where the procurer lived - a small shack just outside the old Damascus International Airport. They knew that she received her victims via ground-hugging copters landing at that airport. They knew that she stored her victims in the old baggage storage basement at that airport until her buyer arrived. She was close enough to the airport to be able to watch if anybody exhibited any unhealthy interest in the airport, which nobody did. She also had a clear view of the area around the airport - flat desert.

Reese and Doc thought that breaking into her shack in the dead of night and kidnapping her would be a good idea. That operation quickly fell apart.

At the sound of the breaking door, the diminutive Syrian woman named Reem became a ten-foot tall devil, complete with scales and horns. Seeing two puny mortals in front of her, the devil saw no need to flee. She attacked instead. Fortunately for Doc and Reese, she wasn't intent on pulling their bodies apart; she was content to throw each of them over a wall. Landing on desert sand was better than landing on concrete, but not by much. Both men were winded and were on their knees trying to rise when the devil kicked her way through the shack's roof that had collapsed on top of her. Both men had William's flashlight in hand. Neither flashlight on its own could keep the devil pinned to the ground. But together, the two Taser's were sufficient to pin it to the ground, but barely.

Both Reese and Doc were so rattled that they didn't think of using their slings. Nor did they think of messaging for help, but that wasn't necessary because Cassie and Kashmira had been patrolling the skies above the shack and reached the ground quickly.

Of all the Nemeses, Kashmira was the most in control of herself. She knew that she had to avoid touching the devil's body while it was being Tasered. The splintered shack provided a portable door that she laid on top of the devil's chest. Kneeling on that and putting her face just above the devil's contorted face, she took her own flashlight and began Tasering the devil's eyes from a foot away. That began to have an immediate effect. She warned the other three to clear the killing zone and began to sing. Death came in less than a minute.

Understanding what had just happened took more time. All four of them were visibly shaken by the close call. Looking at the body of the dead devil made things worse. They covered its body with splintered wood. Doc sent a _We need help_ message to Keely who arrived very quickly in the mortal form of a midnight desert walker. Doc introduced her as 'a friend', which didn't provoke much of a reaction from the Nemeses still lying prone on the desert.

Keely shifted some boards and looked at the devil's face. _It's about time_ , she muttered to herself. Then she said, "Let's go inside the airport," and motioned the Nemeses to get up and follow her. That took them away from the presence of the body. On the way, she sent a _clean up on aisle three_ message to Sir Galahad, who had accompanied her.

### # # # # # # # #

"My name is Keely," she said. "I'm a friend of Doc. I want you to walk around this room and look at the walls. When you're done, come into the middle of the room and we'll have a chat."

While the Nemeses were looking at all the scratched messages adorning the concrete walls, Keely scrounged some chairs from the airport's main floor and set them into a circle.

"Tell me what you saw," Keely opened the meeting.

"Hundreds of messages asking for help."

"Some were scratched into the surface with finger nails."

"I saw messages written in blood. They probably chewed a finger open."

"Most gave their name in some way."

"Some of these messages looked very old."

Keely nodded and said, "You now have avenged the deaths of all of the girls who left those messages."

"Deaths?" Reese asked.

"The customers of the thing you killed don't keep their purchases alive for long. They get bored and then buy another girl."

"How do you know that?" Kashmira asked.

"It's what evil men do. They don't leave any evidence behind."

"That wasn't a woman," Kashmira said.

"No, it wasn't. In your world, you will find forces for good and forces for evil. These forces move around in your world in human bodies that look very realistic, but they aren't human. They thing you killed was a devil. Devils do exist. So does Hell. You knew that in theory. Now you've seen a devil in action."

Keely had their attention now. "If Hell and devils exist, then presumably Heaven exists as do angels. For the sake of argument, let's pretend that's true. Let pretend that an angel gave Doc a new body because the old one was wearing out and he was close to death. Let's pretend that an angel gave Cassie a human body because she had been stuck in a spirit's body for much too long. Let's pretend that an angel gave Reese the gift of being able to detect evil humans and evil devils at a glance. Let's pretend that an angel gave Kashmira a wonderful, powerful voice and has been training her and helping her learn how to use her voice to bring justice to evil people and evil devils."

"That's a lot of pretending," Doc said.

"With more to come. Let pretend that an angel named Keely brought the four of you with your magic talents together so that you could become a fighting force that could defeat the forces of evil. Such a quartet would become the perverts' worst nightmare, wouldn't they?"

"Are you trying to say that you're an angel?" Reese asked.

"No. Not at all. There's no proof that angels exist. I'm just a friend that is pointing out to you that somehow, and for some unknown reason, you have become a fighting unit that can kill evil humans and devils alike. To be more effective, you need to know that devils carry with them a sulphury smell that Cassie can detect. You'll also have to learn how to kill devils more easily, and perhaps some new weaponry might appear in your New York courtroom one day."

"But, you're not an angel."

"No, Reese. If angels existed, they certainly couldn't reveal themselves to humans. Humans have to have faith that forces for good exist. You can't expect absolute proof. You have to believe that you were brought together for a reason. If you believe that you were brought together for a reason, then you're ready."

"For what?"

"If you are the type of people that believe that justice will prevail in the end, and that good will defeat evil, you might also be the type of people who would dig a hole in the northwest corner of Reem's shack purely out of curiosity, of course. Remember, angels don't exist."

And with that, the angel that didn't exist disappeared.

The northwest corner of Reem's shack contained a waterproof cylinder containing a written document that gave the names of all of Reem's customers, their locations, and what transactions Reem had had with them.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 5

Friday night. Maddy had gone to bed early so that she'd be rested for Saturday's soccer tournament. Cowboy had also gone to bed early because Bean had asked him via a mind-message to do that, please. That left Winnie and Bean alone in the living room. They had been talking for a while.

"So, do you like this Arthur guy a lot?"

"I do."

"Do you love him?"

"I don't know. How do you know when you love somebody? How did you know about Cowboy?"

"I didn't want to love him. We pushed each other away. He was on a revenge mission to find and kill the people who had killed his family. I was in a situation where I knew that I couldn't physically love Cowboy. I had physical issues about men. We decided to go our separate ways."

"How'd that work out?"

"Horribly. Both of us were miserable. Then he was attacked and almost killed. I went crazy, sort of, and told myself that if I could find him alive, I'd never leave him again. I found him with some help, and we've been together ever since. I guess when you can't live without somebody, that's love." _[Second Base, Book #13]_

"The same sort of thing happened to us. I thought that Arthur and I had to split up because the two of us weren't able to have a family. Arthur was badly hurt on the job. I was dating another guy, found out about it, and went to him. He was unconscious and I sort of lost it. I told his unconscious body that I didn't care about the family. I only wanted him to get better."

"So, I'll ask you again. Are you in love with him?"

"Yes, I think I am."

"What's the problem, then?"

"Sex. We've been fooling around."

"No magic?"

"Too much magic. I'm finding it really hard to stop."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"You're of legal age. You don't have to stop if you don't want to. You know about birth control, right?"

"Yes. I have condoms handy."

"And Arthur? Does he want to go further? Silly question, right?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want recreational sex?"

"No. Mom warned all of us kids about that."

"Does he love you?"

"Arthur isn't in touch with his emotions. He's led a sheltered life free of emotions like love."

"You're afraid that he won't love you back the way you need to be loved back."

"I hadn't thought of it that way, but yes, you're right."

"He's not able to tell you his feelings about you."

"No, he's not able to do that."

"Lots of men are like that. They'll show you their love in other ways. Does he do that?"

....

"Winnie? Does he do that?"

"He became very protective of me when we were working under stress one time. That bothered me a lot. I didn't want to be protected."

"He was showing you his love."

"Yeah, I got that eventually. But his way of showing me his love was very irritating. It was like he was saying I was a weak, puny woman."

"Ignore the message; focus on the intent."

"Huh. I've never thought of it that way."

"Do you boss him around?"

"Why would you think...?"

"Winnie. Come on. I know you. You boss him around. Admit it."

"Well, sometimes I have to..."

"Does he like that?"

"There were times that he didn't."

"And now."

"We don't argue about that anymore."

"Perhaps because he is focusing on your intent, not the message."

"You think?"

"Perhaps he's showing you his love. He's ignoring something that he probably doesn't like about you very much. But, in the grand scheme of things, it's meaningless."

...

"What should I do about the sex?"

"Do you have a religious reason to avoid having sex?"

"No."

"Have you made some sort of vow that you won't have sex before you're married? Lots of women do, you know."

"No vow."

"Would you tell your mother that you're having sex before marriage or would you hide it?"

"I'd hide it."

"That suggests that you're not entirely comfortable with the idea of having sex before marriage, or at least not now."

"Huh."

...

"You can't tell Mom what I'm going to tell you. At times, Arthur and I might be doing some security work that could be dangerous. I'm worried that if we start having sex, we might be distracted at a time that could be very bad. If we don't start having sex, there's less risk of that happening."

"Perhaps. But, you'll always have the urge, no matter what. You have to find a way to control your emotions if you could be danger."

"How?"

"That's something that you and Arthur have to solve. Make sure that it's a joint decision."

"Am I that bossy?"

"Would you like to stay over? The couch is comfortable. Maddy has a soccer tournament tomorrow. Cowboy and I can't attend. You could watch and tell us how it went. Maddy doesn't tell us very much about her games."

"I'd like that. Thank you for helping me."

"Any time, Winnie."

### # # # # # # # #

"How were the games, Maddy?" Bean asked as Maddy rushed down the hallway to her bedroom.

"We suck."

Slam.

### # # # # # # # #

Later that evening. Winnie was giving a fuller account of the games to Cowboy and Bean.

"I stayed invisible the whole time. It gave me a chance to wander around and listen to conversations. Maddy was right about her team sucking. Mind you, I don't know much about soccer, but they lost every game and the mercy rule was invoked every game. She herself was good. She was selected to the all-star team in the goalie position. Nobody else on her team was selected."

"Why were they so bad?"

"They couldn't get the ball out of their own end. They couldn't kick it hard enough and their aim was terrible. They kept kicking it into a place where the other team could intercept. Maddy constantly had to make tremendous saves. The teams stopped shooting at her after a while because they couldn't score on her one on one. Instead, they'd pass the ball to an unchecked teammate on the other side of the net. She'd just tap in it."

"They don't know how to check?"

"Most of them know enough to get in their way. But one girl just stood in the middle of the play and didn't notice when her check left her. She was a big girl with weight issues. She never checked anybody. And when the other team scored, she'd blame Maddy."

"What was her name?"

"Candy something. Maddy's team actually played better in the games after this Candy girl got kicked out "

"How's that work?"

"The ref has a red card that she holds up when a player is ejected from the game. The coach can't sub anybody in for her so they have to play with ten girls instead of eleven."

"What did she do?"

"First game, she deliberately tripped a girl that was dribbling by her. Second game, she deliberately kicked a girl's ankle hard. Third game, she ploughed into a girl that was feinting one way and trying to go the other. Pushed her hard onto the ground. That led to an expulsion from the tournament. I spent some time listening to the moms who were in the stands. Did you know that Candy's name is Candy Dandy?"

"Yes."

"Her father's name is Jim Dandy. The mother's name supposedly is Fine'n."

"As in Fine and Dandy."

"Yup. Apparently last year, Candy broke a girl's ankle when she was going after the ball. Mom says that since then, the refs have had it in for her. She can't do anything without being thrown out of the game. Every mom around her agrees with her. She's definitely being victimized. Well, they weren't watching the game I was watching and I don't know soccer. I got the impression that Jim Dandy is some sort of big shot."

"Maddy knows that Candy is a bully. I believe that Candy is leaving her alone because she's in a different class."

"She wasn't leaving her alone in the game. Blaming her for the goals is one thing and Maddy didn't respond. The girls on the team have to know that Candy was at fault. But after she got kicked out of each game, she left the bench and stood behind the goal. She was yapping at Maddy all the time. Insults mostly. Some stuff about her body. _Maddy the Flatty_ is how she referred to her."

"Did Maddy respond?"

"I don't believe Maddy heard her. She was too busy getting ready to block shots. Candy is one sick Beluga whale, Bean. Cowboy, do you know anything about the family?"

"I have some awareness, yes."

"He can't say anything because it's against a policeman's rules to talk about people that he is curious about. But, he can't stop me from blabbing. Some bad things may be happening in that school. Maddy is officially a secret deputy and is working undercover to find out what is happening."

"A spy. Who would have guessed?"

"She's running her own operation. Cowboy is sort of steering her. She's trying to find how somebody could have given a nudie picture to the father of a friend of hers. But she doesn't know what to do."

"Does she want some help?"

"You'll have to ask her. She's the boss of the operation."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 6

"Do you have any idea when this naked picture could have been passed to Meifeng's father?"

Maddy had told Winnie the whole wretched story. Winnie and Maddy were now sitting at the kitchen table. Bean had an early morning shift, so she was long gone. Cowboy's shift wasn't until the afternoon, so he and Maddy were listening intently, hoping Winnie would advise them how they should proceed.

"Meifeng gave me the letter near the end of August and they were on their way to Helena then. I was working at the restaurant most of August and her father wasn't mad at her then. I didn't work the last two weeks of August. Bean said that I should have a holiday."

"Good. That narrows the search down a lot. What we'll do is go back in time and put some drones around Meifeng's home. Then we'll come back to present time and look at what the drones recorded."

"I haven't gone back in time before."

"You'll be with me the whole time. Here's how it works. Do you know where they live?"

"They used to own the building with their restaurant. They had an apartment on the second floor. To get up to the apartment, they had to leave the restaurant and climb a set of stairs. I saw Meifeng going up to her home one time when she spilled some food on her blouse."

"A separate entrance is good. There's bound to be a second entrance/exit too. We'll find that. Then, we'll use our slings to hover in the air above Meifeng's home in present time. I went back to camp earlier this morning and brought back a TiTr cone. You and I will use that cone to go back in time to when you stopped work. Using a clock in the TiTr cone, you will make a record of the exact time that we left present time. When we get to the time we want, I'll show you how to place a drone so that gives it a good view of Mefeng's home. We'll have to secure it somehow. Perhaps to a tree. Perhaps to the roof of the house across the street. We won't know until we get there. We'll set up a drone at the back of the building too when we find the exit. Then, we go to a different spot in the air, and return to the time that we left plus one minute. That way it will be impossible for us to be in two spots at the same time. We can't make any change to what happened in the past, so don't wear anything that could fall off."

"I don't wear jewelry."

Cowboy summarized. "You'll be looking for somebody who knocks on the door and talks to Meifeng's father?"

"Or somebody who slips an envelope under the door. I'll show Maddy how to look through the drone's recordings. It's easy. We can fast forward through the days quickly. We must remember to remove the drones after we've finished with them. Maddy, this is very important. We must not leave drones where they might accidentally be discovered."

"Got it. Then what?"

"Once we know who gave the picture to her father, we should be able to identify him. Cowboy probably would recognize him."

"That's it?"

"That's it! We should have the answer today."

### # # # # # # # #

Let's use this interval in Maddy's day to catch up with what has been happening in Heaven. Arthur was back reviewing the Heavenly Protocols. It was as enjoyable as eating raw carrots with cherry pie. Truly, it was. Now that smuggling food into Heaven was no longer a criminal offense, Arthur had hoarded a large stash of cherry pies that he kept in Winnie's freezer. However, knowing that Winnie would not think highly of him if he didn't eat vegetables, he brought some of those back too. One slice of pie; one raw carrot. The taste wasn't all that bad but he always ate the carrot first.

On another matter, Keely had defended her decision to reveal herself to the Nemeses.

"They had to know the truth, Lillian. You can't expect them to run operations when they have secrets among themselves. Besides, I never showed myself in my feathers. They may believe that I'm an angel, but they don't know that for sure. If you're ever asked if any of them had seen an angel, you can say quite truthfully that they hadn't."

"I agree with what you did to make them a more cohesive group," Lillian said. "Plus, they had to know the truth about devils. It would be too dangerous for them otherwise. Did you influence them to go after Reem?"

"No, but I've given them a devil stassis charger with instructions on how to use it. Did Joe-Joe deliver Reem's body?"

"Yes. We'll see if New Satan responds or not."

"What's happening in Hell?"

"The big crates are open. They contained a tunnel boring machine, two small locomotives, twelve small mining cars, and a small caboose."

"Do we know why they want to bore more tunnels?"

"No. I'm guessing that they want to find more gold deposits."

### # # # # # # # #

Sunday evening in Billings.

"Well, that must have been disappointing," Bean commiserated with two unhappy TiTr'ists. "What went wrong?"

"We did everything right," Maddy said. "We never saw anybody even hanging around the building, let alone knocking on the door. The back exit was a fire escape. Nobody climbed it."

"What's your conclusion, Maddy?" Cowboy asked.

"Winnie asked the same thing. Somebody must have passed the picture to Meifeng's dad inside the restaurant, but that would be impossible for us to catch. They have lot of customers. When Meifeng's dad takes a break, he steps into the alley through the back kitchen door. Winnie's drone covered that area. Nobody talked to him when he was outside."

"Besides, he doesn't speak English," Winnie added.

"Does he ever go for a walk downtown? To shop, for example?" Bean with the question.

"No. Meifeng does all the food shopping. She does that in the mornings before the restaurant opens."

"Huh."

"Huh," Bean echoed Cowboy.

"This sucks," Maddy ended the meeting.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 7

Winnie returned to Heaven after her Sunday operation with Maddy. She immediately sought out Arthur who had his nose buried in one of the Heavenly Protocols. Naturally, he quickly dropped that work. Some kissing may have followed. _[Make that a lot of kissing.]_

When they came up for air, Winnie took Arthur by the hand and they sat sit down at the kitchen table. She took the chair on as the opposite side from him. "We have to talk about sex," she started.

_[Men, this conversational starter is not something you ever want to hear. Rarely will this opening be followed by the words, 'We should have more.']_

Without going into too much detail, here are the critical exchanges in the conversation that followed. I hasten to add that this conversation was amicable and did not involve any whining or groveling.

"I want to as much as you." That was Winnie.

"I didn't know that."

"Well, I do. It's just that I'm not ready."

"How will you know when you're ready?"

"When I can tell my mom without any hesitation that I'm having sex with you."

"I don't understand."

"Part of me wants to have sex. Part of me doesn't. I don't want to feel guilty after our first time."

"Telling your mom would mean you no longer had any hesitation. You wouldn't feel guilty."

"That's right."

"So, now what?"

"If we kiss too much, I may forget about this conversation. I'd feel guilty afterwards. The pressure to stop shouldn't be all on me."

"Each of us should know when we have to stop even if we don't want to."

"Exactly."

"We need some rules," Arthur suggested."

"Yes. You go first."

"We won't have more than twelve kissing sessions a day."

"I promise not to neuter you if you attack me more than once."

"I was kidding."

"So was I. Suggest something realistic."

"Three sessions?"

"Fifteen minutes each?"

"OK."

"Sleeping together at night. What do we do? The pillow between us isn't working."

"We could sleep in our feathers."

"I have trouble sleeping that way. I get too hot."

"I'll sleep in my feathers. I'm a sexless angel. I won't be doing anything."

"Works for me."

### # # # # # # # #

Joe-Joe, Keely, and Lillian were meeting. Meghan had just reported that the devils in Hell's Personnel Department had been told to expect lots of overtime until more staff could be assigned.

Lillian told her to monitor her sources daily and Meghan then left.

"We should have Paula down there too," Keely suggested.

"Just done," Joe-Joe reported. "What about Arthur and Winnie?"

"Arthur is still working on the protocols. Winnie is helping him. They're available if needed. I'll tell Winnie that she's to remain in Heaven."

"Should we tell them that this isn't a leave?" Keely asked.

"They made an agreement."

"What?"

"If I told you that I knew what their agreement was, that would mean I had been prying. I don't pry."

...

"Cackling like that is rude, Keely. You're not much better, Joe-Joe."

"Something flew up my nose. I was just trying to snort it out."

### # # # # # # # #

Mid week. Castle Rock's girls' soccer team wouldn't be playing in this weekend's tournament since they were down to only ten players. Candy had received a one-week suspension because of all the red cards she had received so far this season. The team was still practicing though. Maddy, Michelle, and Linda weren't doing any extra goalie practices. All three girls realized that it wouldn't make any difference. That meant that they were in the changing room after practice.

"You stink," Candy said to Maddy who was sitting on a bench and removing her cleats. "You should shower." Candy was fully clothed and standing in the middle of the locker room. Her hands were in her jean pockets. She took the right hand out to pinch her nostrils shut

"I don't stink."

"You sure do. Plus you're all dirty. Other girls on the team shower. Why are you so special?"

"I shower at home, Candy." Maddy began work on the second shoe. She had learned to ignore Candy whenever the whale opened its pie-hole. _[Yes, whales do eat pie. Probably cherry pie.]_

Candy moved closer to the bench where Maddy was concentrating on the triple knot she always used on her cleats. Sniffing loudly, she asked, "When did you last bathe? Easter?"

Maddy looked up. Having to look up was a vulnerable position. She stood up. Her left foot was still in her shoe and that cleated shoe would not have great traction on the tiles of the locker room floor. She turned, put her left foot on top of the bench, and attacked the knot.

"Stinker, stinker. Your butt's a clinker."

Beluga whales do not have an extensive vocabulary.

Maddy heeled her shoe off and moved into the middle of the locker room where she had more room to maneuver. It would not be a good idea to be pinned to that bench.

The whale swam forward, flippers at the ready.

"If any part of your body touches mine, I will hurt you. You know that I can do that. So back off and go home, Candy."

Everybody was watching. Candy couldn't back down.

This time, Maddy used the wrist lock to push Candy into an open shower stall, turned on the water and held her there until she was soaking wet. "Don't ever touch me again, Candy."

### # # # # # # # #

That night at supper, Maddy told Bean and Cowboy about the incident.

"Why do you think that she was so insistent that you shower?" Cowboy asked. He already had an answer.

"Somebody took a picture of Meifeng without any clothes on. Now Candy wants me in the shower without any clothes on. I have to check those showers for cameras."

"How will you get into the locker room without being noticed?" Cowboy asked.

"I'll break in tonight. I have William's lock picker and his camera detector."

"Mind if I come along?" Bean asked.

"To supervise?"

"No. To help. Why should you and Cowboy have all the fun?"

....

Later that night, as Bean and Cowboy were preparing for bed. "We didn't find any cameras in those stalls," Bean reported. "I would have bet money on that."

"Me too."

"I guess Candy was just being a bully."

"Looks that way. Now she knows that she can't bully Maddy."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 8

"We know why Hell's Personnel Department has extra staff now," Lillian said to Joe-Joe. "Paula reported that large numbers of shoulder demons are returning to Hell."

"Are they adjusting the number of demons in the field to reflect our new agreement."

"Probably. We also know what those metal crates contained. You'll never guess."

"Salt and pepper shakers for the breakfast table?"

"Wrong. The machines in those crates convert shoulder demons into devil bodies, but not the usual devil bodies. Essentially, the new body is a mortal sleeve covered with scales. No horns, no tails, no elaborate bodies. Just a sturdier mortal sleeve. Plus one more change you'll never guess."

"Guacamole hands?"

"You're not even trying."

"Wouldn't want to ruin your surprise."

"You've figured it out already?"

"Sure. It's obvious. If they're boring new tunnels to mine more gold, they'll need miners. These new bodies are very short. Right?"

"Yup."

"And they convinced the shoulder demons that their return to Hell was a promotion?"

"Yes. It's a promotion to a _Class 3 Devil_. Whatever that is."

"They will die in those bodies. They'll be worked to death."

"That will allow them to promote more shoulder demons back to Hell to die as a Class 3 Devil. They'll do that until they have the right ratio of shoulder demons to mortals."

"Did Paula mention what shoulder demon colors are coming back to Hell?"

"The light colors."

"We should find out how the dark color demons are responding to the light colors coming back to Hell."

"I'll get Paula, Arthur, and Winnie working on that."

### # # # # # # # #

Maddy was walking home from school and was strolling through a little park that had a walking trail through some trees. In the open part of the park, there was a swing set for the little kiddies along with a horseshoe pit for anybody who had a horse and wanted to throw it into the pit. Remember, this was Montana. Home of the Wild West.

As Maddy reached the densest part of the trail through the park, three big bodies stepped out of the trees and loosely surrounded her.

"Look who we have here," Andy said.

"Little Goldilocks," Brandy added.

"Maddy the Flatty," Candy corrected.

"Three on one. That's brave of you."

"You need to be taught a lesson," Andy clarified what didn't need to be clarified.

"And the three of you are going to do that?"

"We are."

"So how is this going to work? You'll take turns going one-on-one against me?"

"Nah. Anybody who hurts one of our family gets to take on the whole family at the same time."

"You do realize that this whole family fight thing you want to start is being recorded."

"Yeah, right."

"You didn't see the security camera on that tree right behind you?"

"I don't see..."

"Owww."

"Owww."

"Owww."

...

"This is Emergency. What service do you require?"

"My name is Maddy Wiltz. Three people have been injured in Constitution Avenue Park. They can't walk. You should send an ambulance."

### # # # # # # # #

Two days later, Jim Dandy opened the door to his luxurious home in the exclusive neighborhood of Cameron Park that was situated just south of a rimrock formation and with a great view of downtown Billings. He found a man in a uniform standing on his stoop ready to knock a second time.

"Mr. Dandy?"

"Yes."

"I am Sheriff Kane of the Missoula Sheriff's Department. I would like to ask you a few questions."

"You're a long way from your jurisdiction, Sheriff."

"Captain Jackson of the Billings Police Department has asked me conduct an independent investigation and has given me the authority to question Billings citizens."

"Captain Jackson?"

"Also known as Cowboy, Mr. Dandy. Cowboy has recused himself from the investigation because his ward, one Maddy Wiltz, was involved in what appeared to be an assault. He has authorized me to investigate and initiate whatever legal action is necessary. May I come in?"

...

"So, as I understand your statement, your three teenagers were walking through Constitution Avenue Park when Maddy Wiltz confronted them, distracted them, and then used her heavy hiking boots to break bones in the feet of all three of them. She did this without warning and for no apparent reason."

"Yes. My boy had a promising football career in front of him and he has now lost his entire season. Both of my daughters are skilled athletes, and they will be out of action for the same three months. All of them are in walking casts. I am planning on suing the Wiltz family and the two guardians who should have been supervising her better."

"I would like to speak with your teenagers, Mr. Dandy."

"They are inconsolable right now. They will give their statements in court when the time comes."

"Very well. That will be a civil matter. For me, I'm investigating the criminal aspects to this, namely a possible assault on your three teenagers."

"Good. You hit them in criminal court and I'll hit them in civil court."

"Did your children mention to you that Ms. Wiltz warned them that she was recording the apparent confrontation that had developed just before the alleged assault?"

"That was part of the ruse to distract them so that they couldn't defend themselves."

"How old is Andy, Mr. Dandy?"

"Seventeen."

"A seventeen year old husky male couldn't defend himself against a twelve year old girl?"

"Those boots were concealed weapons."

"Hardly concealed, Mr. Dandy."

"Weapons, nonetheless."

"When I interviewed Ms. Wiltz, I heard an entirely different story. According to her, your three teenagers surrounded her and were planning to assault her three on one."

"Lies."

"If a recording of the incident were made, that recording would reveal the truth, wouldn't you agree?"

"There was no security camera."

"No, that part was a ruse. But she was recording the confrontation on her pinky ring."

"Pinky rings don't have that capability."

"Not in Montana, they don't. But apparently, Ms. Wiltz has an advanced pinky ring. Have a listen."

_Look who we have here_

_Little Goldilocks._

_Maddy the Flatty._

_Three on one. That's brave of you._

_You need to be taught a lesson._

_And the three of you are going to do that?_

_We are._

_So how is this going to work? You'll take turns going one-on-one against me?_

_Nah. Anybody who hurts one of our family gets to take on the whole family at the same time._

_You do realize that this whole family fight thing you want to start is being recorded._

_Yeah right._

_You didn't see the security camera on that tree right behind you?_

_I don't see..._

_Owww._

_Owww._

_Owww._

...

"Mr. Dandy, it'll be a simple matter for me to check whether the voices on that audio tape are the voices of your children. Why don't you bring them downstairs so that I can talk to them?"

"They're not available right now. They're under heavy pain medication."

"Let me ask you a question then, Mr. Dandy. If you lie to me, you will be impeding the progress of an authorized criminal investigation and that will land you in jail. The question is: _Are those the voices of your three children speaking on that tape?"_

"Yes. Obviously, they lied to me about what happened."

"Yes, that is obvious. The civil case you were talking about?"

"There will be no civil case."

"That's smart. In terms of the criminal case that I am investigating, I can tell you that I will not lay charges against Ms. Wiltz for assault because it is clear that she was defending herself. In terms of laying charges against your three children for assault, I will not be laying charges against them because they never did assault her, although they were planning to."

"This is a private matter, right Sheriff?"

"Criminal investigations are always private unless they go to court. Only the members of the two families involved will know the results of my findings. Chief Jackson will know the results as part of that."

"It's unfortunate how teenagers can lie like that. You do your best as a parent, but when they're on their own,.... well, it's difficult. I'm glad we can keep this quiet."

"Well, I certainly will, but the story about how your three children ended up in a hospital with exactly the same injury is already circulating through the city. I heard it when I was having lunch. I heard Ms. Wiltz's name mentioned too as she was the one who called the emergency hot line. Here's the darndest thing. People in Billings think of your three children as bullies. Would you believe that? Ms. Wiltz is now perceived as a bully fighter."

"Just because you're big, doesn't make you a bully. People can be intimidated by size when no intimidation is intended."

"Friendly advice, Mr. Dandy. You should have a long talk with your children."

### # # # # # # # #

A little clarification may be useful.

Maddy was wearing her heavy boots all week long expecting something to happen. She also started walking through Constitution Avenue Park that week even though that route took her ten more minutes to walk home.

Maddy knew that she would need a record of the bullying that the three of them would try. She figured out that this could be done after the fact with a TiTr trip. She guided the conversation accordingly. TG was the person to TiTr the event. He then gave that audio recording to Maddy who gave it to Sheriff Kane when he interviewed her. She hadn't anticipated that part of the operation.

### # # # # # # # #

Jim Dandy did have a little chat as Sherriff Kane advised. The chat wasn't with his children.

"Anybody who attacks my family gets hit ten times worse. I want that Wiltz girl to disappear."

"But not immediately," a male voice suggested. "You don't want people tying her disappearance to the fight with your children."

"Fair enough."

"You'll need to delay some of your plans until people forget about this. Your name right now is associated with your three bully children. This is not a good image for you."

"I can ship them out to another school. They could benefit from learning what life is like in a larger community."

"That would make the Wiltz girl even more of a hero. Tell them to knock off the bullying. Keep them in Billings but behaving properly."

"What will you do to her?"

"I won't do anything to her. I'm going to give her to a person who will sell her. Young underage blonde girls are popular in other parts of the world. She'll never hurt your children again."

"When?"

"We have to let things cool down first. Keep your kids on a tight leash, Jim."

Back to the Table of Contents

#  Chapter 9

The month of October passed reasonably quickly and without any major developments.

Shoulder demons continued to return to Hell, but in a controlled fashion. Devils in Hell were quick to notice the new bodies and how those new bodies disappeared into the furthest regions of Hell. The mining operations were now evident and explained as a way to discover gold and other precious minerals so that they'd never be caught short of wealth in the future. This plan was well received by most denizens.

The new future of the light colored shoulder demons was not received well by those shoulder demons. Their new job was essentially a return to the torture pits but with the added bonus of a final death awaiting them at the end of their new career. Other than the devils in charge of Mining Ops, nobody knew how many were dying or how long that took. Nobody above the rank of light colored shoulder demon would have cared. The residents of Hell did realize, however, that any devil making a mistake could end up in the torture pits, which was not a good long-term career plan. New Satan had begun to create his image as a force to be feared.

For the shoulder demons on Earth, the secret of what was going to happen to the light colors was still a secret. Whoever was organizing these returns was successfully keeping the news away from demons in other locations. As for the dark colored shoulder demons who remained behind, Arthur and Winnie discovered that they considered their smaller roster sizes as a positive, both for themselves and for Hell's fight against Heaven. The older demons had considered the light colored demons as ineffective nuisances. They themselves now had more humans to torture, but that meant that they had more opportunities to be promoted. For that reason, they didn't mind being busier. Being busier meant less time to get drunk. The mood and work ethic within the shoulder demon corps began to improve. For those of you who are cheering for Hell, you may approve New Satan's reduction in the shoulder demon forces as a smart decision. Also smart was his decision to deny all promotions out of the torture pits until morale and sobriety returned to the Blacks, Reds, and Oranges.

For those of you who are cheering for Heaven, you can take solace in the new presence of highly effective shoulder angels and guardian angels guarding their mortals. They were now able to order resources such as dreams immediately through their mobile devices. Since they could fly from one mortal to the other, they could get to their assignments more quickly than the land-locked demons that had to walk. The mood within the shoulder angels was beginning to improve. This mood improved even more when new guardian angels began to appear on Earth. These were angels who had worked in the finance and accounting departments. Meghan's automation software had made these jobs redundant.

Unfortunately, that increase in guardian angels was not as large as had been expected. Very few of the former finance angels had the personality, or desire, to work with mortals. Those that did have the desire didn't necessarily have the skill sets, something that was learned during on the job training as a shoulder angel. Very few full-feathered angels wanted to be demoted to shoulder angels to gain those skills.

This meant that a lot of angels were out of work and looking for something to do. Since the halocracy was crammed full, there were no opportunities in other departments except at the bottom rungs of the halocracy. Newly assigned career counselors were tasked with finding something for unemployed angels to do that would be acceptable to the angels and to the halocracy itself. That search was not going well.

### # # # # # # # #

Candy had been kicked out of another game and the league banned her from soccer for the rest of the season. That meant her team couldn't play either. With soccer at Castle Rock no longer possible, some of them started to think about the next school sport. Basketball. One of their parents was very tall; she was also a former high school basketball player. An interview panel of three players was formed and that panel invited Bean to try out for the opportunity of becoming the grade 6 girls' basketball coach. That panel determined that she was way better than their soccer coach and actually knew something about the sport. Basketball practices started early this year at Castle Rock.

The search for the person who had taken a picture that showed Meifeng in her birthday suit was stalled with no apparent chance of starting up again. Maddy still felt that something was wrong with the school's showers, and so never went into a stall herself. During the day, nobody used the showers because they wouldn't be able to get to their next class on time. The only girls that might use the showers were the girls on the sports teams.

Maddy stayed late after practice one day and she and Bean looked closely at the girls' locker room. It had eight enclosed cubicles, each of which had a showerhead inside. A half-height door locked from the inside. From the outside, you could see a girl's feet, and you could see the showerhead showering water, but that was it. Hooks for clothes were also inside the cubicle so that a girl could hang clothes or a towel on them and didn't have to dress or undress in the open. It looked like a traditional shower area for girls.

### # # # # # # # #

Over the course of the month, Doc and the Nemeses had tracked down two of Reem's customers and had brought them to justice. Tracking them had been easy because Reem's documents provided key contact information. Some of their later searches would not be so easy.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 10

November 1 was the day that Maddy was attacked, knocked unconscious, and then kidnapped.

The Wilizy knew the exact day and time because her brain plug registered that her brain functions had suddenly ceased and it sent an emergency message to a computer in William's lab at 2:33.33 pm on November 1. The brain plug also registered that Maddy was not flying at the time and so her sling was automatically released from around her body and instructed to park itself in her vicinity. This was part of the personnel safety measures that William had built into the slings many years ago and had updated as a matter of routine every year. The plug began transmitting the GPS coordinates of Maddy's body.

William's computer immediately broadcast a Wilizy-wide message: IF YOU ARE NOT IN A SAFE SPOT, GET IN THE AIR. POSSIBLE ATTACK IN PROGRESS IN BILLINGS MONTANA. STAY OFF THE AIR UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING DEFINITE TO REPORT.

Doc, Hank, William, and Mac were the designated members of the emergency response team. Doc grabbed his medical emergency package and began slinging to Billings. Hank, William and Mac were about to begin a three-way mind conference but Melissa interrupted. "Don't shut me and Yollie out of the communications." William began relating what his computer was showing to the full Wilizy family.

"I'm OK," Bean reported in. "Where in Billings is the attack?"

"I'm OK too," Cowboy reported. "Where?"

William read out the GPS coordinates and then gave Bean and Cowboy the geographical location. "995 Calico Avenue."

"That's near our home!" Bean responded. "I'm three minutes away. I have my sling if that is needed, but I am travelling by emergency copter with lights and siren."

"I'm two minutes out," Cowboy informed. "I'm travelling by police copter with lights and siren. I too have my sling if it's needed."

"Her brain plug is reporting vital signs," William reported. "Maddy's alive but not conscious."

"She was with friends from her basketball team this afternoon," Bean reported. "They were playing basketball on an outdoor court that is a fifteen minute walk from the house."

"The GPS is reporting that her brain plug has moved," William reported. "It's heading due south. I don't have a continuous GPS feed. No idea yet on the speed of movement."

"What's due south of your home, Cowboy?" Hank asked.

"Downtown Billings. Lots of places to hide her."

"I'm heading to downtown west," Bean reported. "Siren and lights off. Cowboy, go quietly to downtown east."

"I have a 10th Avenue North GPS reading now."

"That's almost downtown," Bean reacted. "Saturday afternoon will be very busy. Lots of witnesses. If Maddy is unconscious and if her kidnapper takes her out of the copter, people will notice."

"I'm downtown now. I don't know what to look for. I didn't see a copter in the air on my trip downtown. I don't see a copter in the air now except for one to the west. I'm assuming that's Bean. Bean, hit your emergency flashers."

"Done."

"That copter is Bean's. No other copters are in the air," Cowboy reported.

"Maddy's GPS reading is now a location somewhere between 4th and 6th Avenue according to my map. Cross streets are North 30th and North 32nd streets."

Bean was the first to respond. "That where the earthquake of 48 hit hard. That area is full of ruins. I'm one minute away."

"Me too. Coming in low to look for a person running with a big bag on his back."

"I see nothing unusual," Bean reported. The stress was beginning to show in her voice.

"I see nothing either."

"GPS is now steady at 401 North 31st street."

Cowboy knew exactly what was there. "That's the old First Interstate Center with its four towers. It used to have twenty floors. Now it's a lot of wreckage."

"I see a copter in the parking lot."

"I'm there now and am on foot. That copter engine is hot."

"If he has taken her into the ruins, it will take hours to search and it will be very dangerous."

A different voice entered the conversation. "You need to set up a perimeter before searching, Hank. Bring the cadets and Valkyries down there to do that."

"Thanks, Jock," Hank replied. "Cowboy and Bean, fly around the center with lights flashing and sirens. That may stop him from leaving. We need volunteer searchers from the cadets and Valkyries."

### # # # # # # # #

By Saturday evening, the Wilizy had determined that Maddy wasn't in the towers. They found no sign that anybody had been in any of empty offices in those towers recently. The kidnapper might have left the ruins before the perimeter arrived. Or perhaps he never went into the building but carried her somewhere else. To another copter perhaps?

### # # # # # # # #

The Emergency Response team was meeting Sunday morning, 6:30 in Cowboy and Bean's living room. TG and Wolf had spent the night TiTr'g and were preparing to give their report. Yollie and Melissa were also there.

Wolf was clearing his throat to get everybody's attention when the front door opened and Winnie walked in. "I heard the system wide announcement when I was in Cape Town," she lied. "Do you mind if I sit in? I worked with Maddy recently. Everybody knows about that, right?"

"Yes, we covered that last night," Bean answered. "Grab a seat. Do you know that Maddy put three bullies into a hospital."

"Maddy told me. I had promised to keep in touch with her."

_[That was true. Winnie had been dropping out of Heaven to check in with Maddy regularly before her bedtime after their joint time travel. Winnie always had a bond with Maddy. She had seen what Maddy had to do to free herself from her kidnappers as described in Maddy's a Baddy, Book #8. At one point, Maddy was Winnie's daughter. You can't ignore a bond like that, no matter how quickly that motherhood phase of her life had ended.]_

_[You may be wondering how she heard about Maddy's abduction while she was incommunicado in Heaven. Lillian had eyes and ears on the Wilizy compound and heard enough to instruct Winnie to go home on an indefinite leave. She also offered to give her easy access to Heavenly resources. By that, Lillian meant the halocratic records. Winnie interpreted that to mean personnel too. Arthur was sitting on the roof of Cowboy's house listening via the fireplace chimney while Paula was sitting on top of a large bookcase in the living room.]_

Wolf cleared his throat again and began "The copter belonged to a rental place in Missoula. We saw it being stolen by a male figure wearing dark clothes, including a hoodie. We couldn't get an angle to see the face. He was average height and moved like he could have been middle age. He landed the copter at about 2 pm two houses down from yours. This could not have been an accident. He knew when she'd be returning and where she'd be coming from. She would have to pass by his copter."

TG took over. "As Maddy was walking down the sidewalk, he stepped out of his copter with a gift wrapped parcel and pretended to look at the address of the house she was passing. As she approached, he stumbled and fell. Maddy picked up the parcel for him. When he was on his knees, he stabbed her foot with a needle. She collapsed immediately and he put her into the back of the copter." _[He actually tossed her in like a sack of rice but TG wasn't going to add that image to Mac's memories.]_

Wolf again: "The rest is straightforward. He made a high-speed dash to the parking lot where we found the copter. He carried a wrapped bundle into the tower building over his shoulder. No matter where we placed ourselves when he took her into the building, we couldn't see his face. The stairs are immediately in front of that entrance. We assume he went up. We can try and put drones throughout the building, but TG found a lot of electronic interference that is blocking our drones from working effectively. Something in the building's walls perhaps. We've installed drones all around the tower's exterior but couldn't find him coming out."

_[Winnie to Paula/Arthur: Does either of you know if there is a PUS station in the basement of that building?]_

_[Paula to Winnie/Arthur: There's a PUS station in Billings, but I don't know where it is located. I have never visited Billings, but this tower complex is exactly where Hell would put one.]_

_[Paula, could you check please?]_

"What do we do now?" Hank asked.

"This has something to do with how Maddy beat up the Dandy bullies. The father has to be involved," Bean started. "Perhaps he hired somebody."

"The father hired a kidnapper because Maddy beat up his kids? Really, Cowboy?" Hank couldn't believe that somebody would do that.

"I don't know very much about him. We could look at him."

_[Yes, Hell has a PUS station in the basement of that building.]_

"Finding out more about this Dandy guy won't help us find Maddy. She's long gone by now. I can feel it," Mac choked out.

"I have an idea," Winnie said.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 11

Maddy awoke to find herself lying on a hard floor. She tried to sit up, but became dizzy and laid down again.

"The dizziness will pass in about an hour," a male voice said.

She searched for the voice and found it. A figure was standing at the far end of a cone of yellow light that illuminated her completely and him partially. He was dressed in black boots, black pants and a black hoodie that covered his head and most of his face. He saw her measuring the distance between them.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. I know you have martial arts training of some kind. But, I'm standing too far away for you to reach me before you fall down from dizziness. I'll stomp you to death if you force me to."

Maddy said nothing aloud, but tried to mind message for help. No response. Then she remembered her training. Her sling should be nearby. She called for it.

"You're wondering why I kidnapped you. You got in the way. You shouldn't have humiliated Andy, Brandy and Candy. Now, you'll pay."

Maddy felt her sling tighten around her. A laser beam through his nose would work just fine.

"You are in a place where your guardians cannot find you. I have to make arrangements before I take you to your final destination. You can't escape from this building. But, let's say that you do. Here's what is waiting for you outside of these walls."

The male figure disappeared to be replaced by a huge beast of some kind. Big heavy legs. A tail. It had a human head and hands, but the head had big horns sticking out of his head. His body was covered with scales of some kind. Maddy closed her eyes hoping this was a dream. She pinched some flesh on her arm and reopened her eyes. It wasn't a dream. Still, she had her sling.

"If you find some way to leave this building, you'll find thousands of creatures like me outside. They'll see you immediately and rip your body apart. Think of yourself as being on a different planet. You cannot escape this planet; your guardians cannot find this planet. You are safe only if you stay inside this building."

Maddy watched as the creature walked out of the yellow light. She heard his footsteps getting further and further away. Then there was a clank of some kind and the spotlight went off. Complete darkness enveloped her. She tried to bring up the weapon array on her sling. Nothing.

### # # # # # # # #

"I hope it's a good idea," Mac said to Winnie.

"If whoever kidnapped Maddy wanted her dead, she'd be dead on the sidewalk in front of your house. That means that the kidnapper wanted Maddy for some reason."

"Ransom?" Cowboy asked.

"Possibly," Winnie said, "But I think not."

"Why then?" Cowboy continued.

"You all know that I work for a highly secret security company. I work in the administration part of the organization where I file papers and send out communications. The work is boring at times, but I get to read reports of some of our personnel who come across villains of varying kinds."

_[Arthur rolled his invisible eyes. Yes, this is possible.]_

"I read a report a month or so ago about a gang that had kidnapped a young boy and nobody could figure out why. He was simply a normal kid that went to school and played with his friends. Eight years old, I think. There was no ransom demand. Months later, he showed up unharmed and with a foggy memory of what had happened."

"From what our operatives were able to piece together, he was kidnapped because he looked very much like a rich family's kid that lived in a guarded mansion in Milan. They convinced the young boy that if he went into the family home at a certain time, and then opened up a certain door, he'd be returned to his family. The gang took everything of value from that house and dropped him off a block away from the police station. He couldn't say much because he had never seen anybody in the gang unmasked. Plus, he was all stressed out and couldn't remember key details. Our operatives didn't find the gang. But, now it appears they have struck again with Maddy as the victim. My company will start searching for Maddy by identifying rich people who have a blonde 12-year-old daughter. My organization has the capability of finding those kinds of people and we can set up traps for this gang. Since the young boy was completely unharmed, it's quite likely Maddy will be too."

_[Nice story, Winnie. We know she's in Hell. We find her, get her out, and then Lillian will wash her memory. She won't be hurt by the experience.]_

_[First we have to find her. Can you check Patsy Phew's old apartment, Paula?]_

_[Back in a sec.]_

"And us?" Hank asked. "What can we do?"

Winnie had an answer ready. "From what Maddy told me, something is wrong in Billings. A girl's father received a picture of his naked daughter, but she never undressed in public. That family left Billings abruptly. Another family left Billings abruptly, supposedly for a new job for the family. But the timing is suspicious. Candy tried to bully Maddy into taking a shower. Maddy told me that the showers gave her a creepy feeling but she couldn't find any cameras. For a start, you could ask Reese to go through the community looking for very dark colors."

_[Maddy's not in the apartment.]_

_[That would have been too easy.]_

"Any discussion or questions?" Hank asked.

"I don't understand how we didn't catch the kidnapper or see him," Bean said. "We were within seconds of him. He had no place to go. We were right there."

Winnie also had an explanation that didn't include an unbelievable story about a devil going into the basement and heading for Hell on a transportation system known widely as PUS. "You knew the GPS heading he was on, right?"

"Yes," Bean answered.

"But the GPS doesn't tell us how high the copter is. We naturally assumed that it is high in the air, but neither of you reported seeing a copter. That's probably because he was flying close to the ground. At any point, he could have slowed down and pushed Maddy out of the copter to an accomplice. By the time he reached downtown, he was flying an empty copter. He got out, went into the building carrying a sack of something, dumped the sack somewhere in the building along with his outer clothes, and then left by another exit in a new disguise, perhaps as a woman. That complex has a lot of entrances and exits and they're all open to anybody who wanted to get in and out. I'd look in that building for some crumpled up dark clothes."

_[I'll take care of that.]_

_[Thanks, Arthur.]_

### # # # # # # # #

Maddy's sling may not have been working but her pinky ring light was functional. She used that light to find her way to the back of the building where her kidnapper had turned off the spotlight. If this planet worked like Earth, she'd see a bank of light switches on a wall. There was such a bank, and Maddy flipped them all on. She could now see a very big place with high ceilings. Also visible were lots of metal shelves holding boxes and cartons, some of them marked and some of them unmarked. A warehouse of some kind?

The door to the outside was clearly marked with an exit symbol. That raised Maddy's mental eyebrows. _Other planets use the same exit symbol as Earth does?_ She put that curiosity aside. First priority: find a safe place to hide from this guy. Second priority: find a weapon. As she walked up and down the aisles of what was now definitely a warehouse, she noticed a pair of swinging doors. Push on them and they would open out. If somebody were on the other side, their push would swing the doors the other way. These doors would not be leading to the outside of the warehouse.

Maddy pushed a little and peeked. Lights were on. She pushed some more and walked into an even bigger space.

"Huh!"

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 12

It was the next day. Winnie, Paula and Arthur were in Joe-Joe's workshop prepared to argue that they should start an operation to go to Hell and bring Maddy home safe and sound, albeit with a slight memory loss. However, Meghan had already asked for time in the meeting and was there to report on yesterday's events in Hell. She would report first.

"Somebody leaked news about the future awaiting light colored demons in Hell. Some of them are trying to hide on Earth."

"How wide did the news spread?"

"It's confined to the island of Madagascar for now. Satan may be able to put a lid on it. He's sent in some SSS devils, probably with orders to execute them. In the meantime, all of Hell's borders are sealed. That will lead to unrest in Hell. Devils will suspect that their financial troubles are not over."

"Any idea how he'll respond to that, Meghan?"

"No idea, Joe-Joe. I don't know how to read New Satan."

"He's been making some rational management decisions," Lillian added. "It will be interesting to see how he plans to restore and maintain order."

"Will this affect your plans for Maddy, Winnie?"

"Other than sneaking into Hell, I don't have any plans. We don't know who the devil kidnapper is yet and we have no idea where he has stashed her. I have to be in Hell so that I can use my sling to do a mind message search for her. Angelic mind messages won't work on her sling."

"You're assuming that she has a sling."

"Yes, I am. If she doesn't, the search will be harder. However, there can't be too many places in Hell where a mortal girl can be hidden. If Satan found out that some devil had kidnapped a young girl, he'd have to abide by the treaty condemning devils who sexually assault mortal women and the treaty about leaving children alone. The devil who did it would be executed."

"Satan hasn't announced that new treaty yet," Keely observed.

"He will have to at some point; senior devils will lose their holidays on Earth. That could create more unrest within the ranks of senior devils."

"Should we leak it?" Arthur asked.

"The kidnapper will probably kill Maddy if we do. Dead bodies are easily buried," Keely threw a dead body onto the idea.

"So, we have to get her out of Hell before Satan announces that treaty change. We need to move now before the kidnapper realizes what he's done." Winnie with the logic.

"I agree," Joe-Joe said. "We can infiltrate Arthur and Winnie into Hell as shoulder demons through the grotto back door. Meghan and Paula can get in on their own. Winnie, set up your base in the area where Arthur's body reacted to the dreams. If his new body is going to fail, we want to know that quickly."

"Got it."

"Winnie, are you sure that your sling's mind messaging system will work in Hell?" Lillian asked.

"No, I'm not. I can't test it other than by putting another Wilizy into Hell, which we cannot do. This is the easiest way to find her. If it doesn't work, we'll do something else."

"And how will you get her back to Earth through a closed border?"

"Can we use the back door?" Paula asked.

"Both Heaven and Hell have radiation cocktails sealing that route off for immortals with big bodies. That radiation would cook a mortal."

"We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it too. Paula will be able to communicate everything we're doing," Winnie was feeling the pressure to act now.

"Go to Hell!" Lillian ordered but she smiled as she said it. "Meghan, go with her."

### # # # # # # # #

Maddy had gotten over her astonishment at finding herself inside a Wal*Mart store complete with washrooms of some kind. She tried to wash up in one of the sinks, but was revulsed by the putrid green liquid that emerged from the taps. She also noticed the vile smell that was everywhere.

The store had exterior walls constructed of what looked like cement bricks. The building had a high ceiling that was supported by the walls through a series of crisscrossing horizontal and vertical steel beams. Diagonal beams linking horizontal beams and vertical beams provided extra stability. She looked long and hard at the V-junctions where those beams met.

Back she went to one of the brick walls and touched the brick. Grainy. One brick was layered over another brick, which was layered over another, and so on. There were gaps between the bricks where they didn't seal perfectly. The gaps weren't big enough to slip her fingertips far enough into the cracks to climb the wall. If she could climb the wall, that would give her access to the grid of steel beams that would be out of reach of ugly creature guy.

Back to exploring.

Finding food to eat would not be a problem. Striding underneath the Golden Arches revealed that the outlet in the back of the store had a huge freezer stocked full of the traditional fare for a McDonald's restaurant. The controls for the griddles were easy to figure out, as were the controls for the fryers. There was plenty of ice cream for dessert. Maddy had a feast and then burped her way around the store.

It looked like a typical Wal*Mart store with the same layout and most of the same departments. _[This should not surprise my readers. Rat had given Meghan a catalog of Wal*Mart merchandise and instructed her to order from it.]_ She also found the entertainment rooms that Meghan had set up, including the big angel, the strength test, the bronco riding angel room, and the amphitheater with a storeroom full of props behind the stage. She also found the collection of Satan's bobbleheads for sale. Those bobbleheads prompted Maddy to look at the entertainment centers one more time.

To provide some warning when ugly creature guy returned, she unloaded two metal shelving units and pulled them into position in front of the exit door he used. Then she loaded it up again. If he came back in through those doors, those shelving would tip over with a clatter. She did the same thing with what she thought were the main entrances/exits, the ones where they put all the candy.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 13

Tuesday morning. After a McDonald's breakfast, Maddy sat down in the restaurant and started to plan. First priority was safety. If ugly creature guy returned this morning, she could probably survive for an hour or two by hiding. There were plenty of big cardboard boxes in the storeroom. She could empty one of them out and hide inside. But, that wouldn't work for long.

If she couldn't hide, what about the grid of steel beams? If she could climb an exterior wall, that would allow her to walk on the horizontal beams high above the store. He'd see her, but could he climb up there? Could she defend herself up on the girders if he managed to stand on the steel beams? And what creature would he be? The scary one or the kidnapper? The kidnapper had kept his distance from her. Which one would she have to fight? Both?

What if she had weapons? Could she defend herself on those beams? Could she defend herself if she were caught on the floor? She knew that she could kill the kidnapper. Momaka had told her how to use her various holds to cause pain and immobilize. Momaka hadn't said it, but it was clear. Immobilizing holds can become lethal holds by squeezing longer and harder. But, kidnapper guy wouldn't stay in his body when he could change to ugly creature guy. No immobilizing hold would stop him. She needed a weapon that was immediately lethal. If he ever got a hand on her, she'd be body parts.

Next priority: Escaping. Planning that would have to wait. Maddy grabbed one of the oversized carts inside the store and went shopping. She found enough to fill two carts.

Later that afternoon, sweating and stinking, Maddy gritted her teeth and used a washroom sink full of foul looking water to bathe in. At least she didn't have to worry about hidden cameras in Wal*Mart's washrooms.

### # # # # # # # #

TG found the dark clothing that the kidnapper or his accomplice had worn inside the big building at the opposite end from the copter parking lot. Winnie's theory was correct. Two copters, both flying low, had been part of Maddy's kidnapping. No point in pursuing that investigation further.

Reese was on his way and said that he could stay a week in Billings. He didn't mention why he would have to leave after just one week.

Bean had to go to Castle Rock School and report that Maddy was temporarily unable to attend. She turned down the offer of receiving homework assignments from her teachers.

### # # # # # # # #

Arthur had spent one day and one night in Hell's dream provoking area and had slept soundly. No fire nightmares. Meghan and Paula had spent that same time listening to devils talking in social settings. They heard nothing that would suggest that devils were unhappy with the new Satan. Perhaps that was because Hell had cameras everywhere and was listening in.

Winnie had slept near Arthur in case he needed her. The rough nature of the terrain where they had camped was such that none of them got a sound sleep unless they hovered. That would be unwise use of their solar energy cells. They agreed that they'd change their camp to Satan's Amusement Park where they'd be able to find more comfortable places to sit or sleep.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 14

_Maddy, can you hear me?_

_Winnie! You found me!_

_Well, not quite. I know roughly where you are, but that's all._

_Am I on another planet?_

_No. Why?_

_The kidnapper said that I couldn't escape because it was like being on another planet. Plus, he changed into an ugly creature guy with horns and scales and said other creatures like him would tear me apart if I tried to escape from this place._

_He's not there with you now, is he?_

_No. I haven't seen him since he put me in here._

_Could you describe where you are?_

_It's like a strange Wal*Mart. I'm eating McDonald's food. This can't be another planet. But it is very smelly._

_It's not another planet. But it is a very strange place. Are you safe?_

_For now, yes. I can stay away from him if he comes back. I'm working on some weapons to keep him away from me when he returns. I've also put a noise maker on the back door so that he can't get in and surprise me._

_Try not to get into a physical fight with him._

_I could take him when he's dressed up like a person. He knows it too. He didn't want to come too close to me._

_Describe him when he's a person._

_Average height, brown hair, not very athletic. Older than Cowboy. Oh, he has a thin moustache._

_What about the ugly creature guy? What's he look like other than horns and scales?_

_He's very tall, but not muscular. He has body parts from different animals._

_Do you remember any part specifically?_

_His face looks like a pig but he can talk with it .He has a long snout. Are you here to rescue me?_

_Yes. But that rescue will take some time._

_My sling doesn't work. I tried to mind message for help but nobody answered._

_I'm here now. Do you need anything? Other than a weapon, that is. I may be able to get some things to you._

_Water would be good. The water here is putrid._

_Do you have enough food?_

_The freezer in the McDonalds is full, but I'm already tired of it. Can you bring me some fruit and vegetables?_

_I'll see._

_How about some baseball stuff? I have a dozen baseballs in a ball bag in my closet along with a catcher's mitt. How long will I be here?_

_That's difficult to say. You are in a safe place in that Wal*Mart, but everything outside of that place is very dangerous. I'll do some things to make it safer, but you should be prepared for a long stay._

_The ugly creature guy knows about Andy, Brandy, and Candy._

_How do you know that?_

_I asked him why he kidnapped me. He said that I had humiliated Andy, Brandy and Candy and now I was going to pay for that._

_Do you remember anything else from that talk?_

_He said that he had to make arrangements before he took me to my final destination._

_A friend of mine will visit you tomorrow morning. She is able to sneak into the place where you are hiding. She will look very weird, but everybody where you are looks weird. She'll help protect you and bring you what you asked for. I would come myself, but I can't._

_What's her name?_

_Nymphomaniac._

_I know what that means._

_She's not like that. She's very nice. Do you know what a poisonous scorpion looks like?_

_Yeah._

_She'll look like that but way bigger._

_Are you sure we're not on another planet?_

_Would you like to be?_

_It would be like living in a science fiction book._

_Trust me on this. You're not living in a science fiction book. Only a crazy weird author would write a science fiction book like this._

### # # # # # # # #

Cowboy and Bean were talking about their day over dinner at the new Chinese restaurant in Billings.

"I dropped in on the man who had taken over the Fortuna Hardware Store. The Fortuna family left so abruptly, it sounded suspicious to me. I told him it was a meet and greet type of meeting, and I asked questions about his background, where he had lived before, how long he had been in the hardware business, and family. People usually respond to these kinds of questions quite easily. They're happy to talk about themselves. I was being the city greeter, not being official at all. He was very reticent to talk."

"Was he not an outgoing person? Usually people who own small businesses know how to chat up a customer."

"It might have been my badge. He may have had a run in with the law somewhere else. I could check, I suppose, assuming he gave me his real name."

"You felt that kind of vibe from him?"

"He cut our conversation short so that he could help a customer who was clearly browsing. All I learned is that his name is Mitch Morrison and he had a hardware store in Missoula. His wife may join him later. As to what had inspired him to move to Billings, he stopped the conversation on that question."

"I'd be checking him out, Cowboy."

"I'll ask him. I hope he's clean. Morrison has a great opportunity with the Fortuna Hardware Store. The store has a prosperous location downtown. It's the only hardware store in the city and it's large enough to stock just about anything."

"Were the shelves full?"

"Not the way they were with Fortuna."

"I wonder if he has started to order new stock. He may not realize how long it takes to ship supplies here. Missoula is closer to civilization than Billings."

"Well, slap my head with a 2 by 4 and call me a carpenter."

"You want to look at his hammers and saws?"

"No. I want to know how and where Morrison orders his stock. Ideally, I'd like to know how and where Fortuna ordered his stock."

"Because Fortuna loved his hardware business and you're betting that he'll be setting up a hardware store somewhere else."

"If so, he'll use his same supplier. We find the supplier and then he tells us where Fortuna is."

"You know, I should check how good the store's security is. I wouldn't want a new retailer to have a break-and-enter in his first month of business."

"This place isn't like Helena. People lock their doors. Luckily, I know where Maddy put William's lock picker."

"Doesn't she still have a sign on her bedroom door saying _Private_?"

"All teenagers do that. Daughters are happy to let their mothers come into a private bedroom without permission when they aren't home. At least, that was my experience."

"Well, in that case, you can be an assistant burglar tonight. I have a good idea where he keeps his books."

"Well, slap my butt with a calculator and call me a ..... What should I call myself, Cowboy?"

"Hopeless at country witicisms."

...

"Do you believe the price for this meal?"

"We're not paying luckily."

"And other people aren't buying because the food is way overcooked. The place is empty, and even the take out counter is deserted."

"I wonder how Meifeng is doing."

"Poor kid."

### # # # # # # # #

Reese started wandering the streets of Billings Wednesday morning. He warned Hank that it would be difficult for him to see everybody in a city this size. He was hoping that the coming weekend might give him a chance to see people who would normally be stuck in an office building.

### # # # # # # # #

"All the light colored demons in Madagascar have been eliminated," Ponzi reported to Satan. They were meeting in the Black House as usual. Ponzi hadn't expected to survive the purge when New Satan had arrived. After all, he had been the devil to approve some very disturbing changes in the Heaven-Hell treaty.

"You know how to get things done," Satan had told him. "I'll let you afterlive until you make a mistake."

With that as inspiration, Ponzi had been searching for ways to impress his new boss. It had been Satan's idea to bring the light colored demons home gradually where they'd be converted into short life miners. Ponzi knew that it would be impossible to keep that news quiet, but he also knew that telling Satan that he was wrong would result in a quick trip to outer space without any moisturizer. He let Satan make the mistake so that he could provide a solution to Satan's very good idea that had gone terribly wrong out of pure happenstance.

"I could suggest a slightly different approach that might teach all the shoulder demons a lesson."

"I'm listening."

"You could send a private message to all the dark colored demons on Earth that they should ambush and kill all the light colored demons at a specific time. The times would be adjusted so that deaths in all locations on Earth would be simultaneous. You might also want to tell them to drop all of the dead bodies in acid so that they won't be discovered."

"Is that necessary?"

"I don't know, but why take the chance? The more experienced demons will applaud your decision. Shoulder demons with light colors cause more problems than they're worth on Earth. Our torture levels won't fall. They may even improve because the dark demons will know that you are quick on the trigger. Everybody in Hell will see that you are not reluctant to kill a whole lot of demons with one decision. Light colored shoulder demons caused problems in Madagascar? You came up with a solution. You killed them all world wide! You'll be feared by the young and admired by the old."

"But where will I get my miners?"

"Has anybody told you about the soup cans that are all over Hell?"

"No. What are soup cans?"

### # # # # # # # #

Ponzi's plan was very astute as it solved a lot of problems at once. Satan's image was changed overnight into the new guy that wasn't reluctant to punish anybody who irritated him. Plus, shoulder demons wouldn't be gumming up the works. Also, the problems of having too many souls in Hell to torture effectively would disappear. From now on, souls wouldn't be tortured forever. They'd be tortured for ten years and then killed from overwork in the mines, which Satan was using now to enrich himself. This was a win-win solution by any stretch of the imagination. Plus, Hell wouldn't need to create brand new torture pits to torture souls who had become used to the old ones.

Plus, Hell's economy had been suffering from closing the borders and that problem was now fixed without Satan becoming aware that this was the prime reason Ponzi had acted. For Ponzi, a healthy economy was paramount. Hell needed to become an effective torture machine. Everybody had to pull their weight. Souls in soup cans were not contributing, therefore it was time to get rid of them. Shoulder demons were unnecessary burdens. Few would ever become serious devils. Thus, removing them automatically made Hell more fearsome. They'd still receive borderline sinners, but they could kill them off quickly. They'd still receive money from the Cosmos to torture them. They could probably forget to take those souls off the books. Ponzi was an expert at cooking up fake books.

One devil was particularly happy when Satan announced that traffic to Earth was now restored. That devil grabbed the first PUS car to Syria where he would meet with Reem and arrange for an irritating blonde mortal to disappear.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 15

"Winnie sent me," Nymphomaniac said as she entered the McDonalds while Maddy was operating the deep fat fryer. French fries for breakfast. Yum.

"You really are a giant scorpion," Maddy said as she scanned the tall body towering over her.

"You can call my Nymph. I have an armored body of a dinosaur with a turtle shell and a poisonous scorpion tail. Creatures here are made of different body parts. You know where you are, right?"

"I saw a Satan bobble head and a replica of a bucking bronco angel. Those were easy clues. Plus, it stinks real bad."

"After we found out where you had been stashed, Winnie was sure that you'd figure it out. She wanted you to find out on your own. Some people would refuse to believe the idea that Hell existed."

"I'd refuse to believe it if I dreamt it, but I saw and heard a talking pig snout. I saw him change bodies right in front of me. Can Winnie rescue me from here?"

"She's working on a plan. In the meantime, I'll stick around and keep you safe."

"I'll be safe. Pig Snout can't hurt me if I can reach the rafters. I may even be able to kill him."

"Tell me how you're planning to do all of that."

### # # # # # # # #

_Did you hear what Maddy has planned, Winnie?_

_Yeah, I was here in time. Impressive! I don't believe that I could have thought of that kind of attack._

_And all with only a portable power drill, some spikes, a tub of Vaseline, a big long rope, and half a dozen baseballs. Too bad that she'll never be able to use that plan. Are you still planning to use Maddy as bait?_

_Yes. I have no choice. We'll put Maddy to sleep somehow before Snout Face arrives to take her away. We'll follow him out of Hell and rescue her where he takes her. He has to be the person to take her out of Hell. Paula, we can't get her out ourselves. It would prompt too many questions. We can't let her beat him._

_And after she's outside of Hell, Lillian will wipe her memory._

_Yeah. That's the part that sucks. Memory wipes don't work all that well. Maddy will find out what I did to her. She'll hate me forever._

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 16

Reese had scheduled a meeting with Maddy's parents and guardians for Wednesday, November 12. He had wandered around Billings for a week and felt that he had covered the city adequately. Winnie heard about the meeting and arranged to be in Billings at the same time. She asked Reese if should could talk to Maddy's family first and Reese agreed.

"I have some good news," she opened. "My colleagues have located Maddy and have determined that she is safe and healthy. They know the general location where she is being kept, but it's a very large area and it will take more time to find her precise location. If they can't rescue her there, they have identified the girl that she is going to impersonate and they are watching that family. Their rescue efforts will be driven by the kidnapper's schedule. They have to wait for him to act."

"Do they have any idea how long that will be, Winnie?" Mac asked.

"No. They don't have much to go on."

"We know she's safe and healthy," Yollie said. "That's good news, Mac."

"I know. I just hope that she won't come out of this experience emotionally scarred."

"Maddy is resilient," Melissa reassured.

"Have your people established any link between the kidnappers and somebody in Billings?" Cowboy asked.

"No. The copter came from Missoula, so we haven't considered that. Reese, why don't you give your report now?"

"I found that Billings has a remarkably high number of good people. They all have flaws, of course. I saw light aura colors for the most part. I was asked to look into some specific people, so here goes."

"Jim Dandy has extremely dark colors. I believe he's a sociopath. His colors tell me that he has a lust for money and power and uses his wealth and influence to bully people into doing what he wants them to do. He does not care in the least what his actions have on other people. Also, I saw a color that tells me that he could go into a rage if he were balked. This is a very dangerous man."

"His three children are bullies, pure and simple. All have colors that show tendencies towards violence. The boy is beginning to show darkening colors. The mother enjoys being married to a powerful person. She likes to use his name and reputation to boss people around. This is not a family you would want to cross."

"Skyview's vice principal is a decent man. That said, he also knows that Jim Dandy has a lot of influence and is talking about running for the city's school board. He would not be brave enough to discipline Dandy's kids. It could be a career ender."

"Mitch Morrison, the new owner of Fortuna's Hardware Store, is clean. His colors show a decent man but one that might be timid when confronted. That might explain why he was not forthcoming when Cowboy and his badge approached him."

"Did you find anybody else with very dark colors, Reese?"

"Not in the auras of the people I saw, Winnie."

"What do we do now?" Mac asked.

Cowboy answered. "Bean and I may have found a way to track down where Gordon Fortuna is living. We have a road trip to make first."

"How'd you..."

"You don't want to know, Yollie. Let's just say that Bean was a bad, bad person."

"Hey. Watch the mouth. I know where you sleep!" Bean retorted.

"Well, cut off my foot with a sharp cleaver and call me shorty."

"Wouldn't it be _Cut off my foot with a sharp cleaver and call me lopsided?"_ Reese volunteered.

"Reese, do you speak cowboy?" Mac asked

"It's just logical that you'd be lopsided with only one foot and a stump."

### # # # # # # # #

Reese and Winnie set down after the meeting on a mountainside with a great view of the Lower Yellowstone River Falls. Reese wasn't into nice views today.

"Nice view, Winnie. I gotta go."

"Where? I thought we should talk."

"Another time? I have to go."

"You live in a cave. What's the rush?"

"I have somebody waiting for me. I shouldn't be late."

"You're a hermit, bushy beard brother. Who's waiting? Is she pretty?"

"I'm going now."

"I'll follow you. I'm going to find out. You might as well tell me about this girl."

"It's not a girl."

"The more inscrutable you get, the more I'll pry. You know me. I'll find out."

"Winnie, you can be very exasperating."

"Thank you. I've honed that skill for years. Do we play Twenty Questions? I keep asking until I catch you in a lie?"

"Fine. I guess you should know. You can come with me, but you have to stay invisible the whole time and don't mind message me. I have to concentrate."

### # # # # # # # #

"The four of you just kidnapped a guy and tried him for being a pervert. You found him guilty and Kashmira sang him to death. What's going on?"

"It's Doc's team. He wanted to do something meaningful with his new body. You knew about that, right?"

"I knew he had a new body and he would have died soon in his old body."

"So, we formed a group called the Nemeses. We're using a United Nations' Convention to give us authority to bring perverts to justice."

"I noticed the big UN sign in the court room."

"Because of Doc's idea, Cassie has a body that she can use to be a prosecutor. Kashmira is learning how to sing perverts to death. I'm learning how to be a real justice. We feel good about what we're doing, but we are keeping it secret so that we and our families can't become targets."

"Heaven did this, right?"

"Yeah. Doc talked with somebody in Heaven when he got his new body."

"Who?"

"Her name is Keely. I've seen her once. I already knew about Heaven and Hell from you. The others know too, but we pretend we don't know about Heaven. Keely didn't want us knowing for sure that Heaven existed."

"How do you find your perverts?"

"I search for bad colors. We found a devil named Reem who bought young girls and sold them to perverts. We were barely able to control her when we kidnapped her. Kashmira saved our butts by singing to her while she Tasered her eyeballs. Keely told us where we could find the devil's records of her customers. We're tracking one of them down every two weeks. She gave us a devil stassis charger in case we run into another devil."

"I'm glad you can be a justice, Reese. I know you wanted to do that. Are you still a hermit?"

"No. I'm being useful now. I live in a cave because I like to be alone."

"About Maddy, we believe that some devil saw a perfect blonde girl, grabbed her off the street, took her to Hell. I know where she's stashed in Hell, but it will be very difficult to pull her out. I can't do anything that would leave Hell wondering how she escaped. She's safe for now."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Not a very good one, but it's all I have. My friends and I will wait for the devil to return to Hell and take Maddy to her final destination, wherever that is. We're sure it'll be on Earth and we'll rescue her there. He's just taking a very long time to finish the kidnapping."

"Maddy is a blonde, underage, white girl. She'd be perfect for Reem to sell."

"You think that's who my devil planned to sell her to?" Winnie asked.

"Could be. That's why Maddy is still in Hell. With Reem dead, the devil doesn't know anybody else he could sell her to."

"Let's say that you're right," Winnie started. "The devil stashed Maddy in Hell, but he can't find a buyer. Satan will execute him if he finds out about it. What would you do if you were that devil?"

"Could some devil find where I hid Maddy?"

"Unlikely."

"I'd leave her there to starve. If she was ever found, nobody could link her back to me."

...

"Winnie? What are you thinking?"

"We've been assuming that Maddy was kidnapped by a devil from Missoula who got lucky. It's not. The devil we want is stationed in Billings. He didn't get lucky. He's connected to Jim Dandy."

"He's doing Jim Dandy's dirty work, like kidnapping Maddy?"

"Has to be. That means the devil has revealed himself to a human."

"I thought that was against the rules."

"It is. Just like kidnapping a young girl is against the rules. But, you can only be executed once. He might be getting desperate to offload Maddy before he's stuck with her."

"Winnie, if you're right that the devil is stationed in Billings, it should be easy to connect him to Jim Dandy. Do you have a description of his mortal body?"

"Maddy said that he had average height, brown hair, was older than Cowboy and wasn't athletic, which doesn't help much. But he also has a thin moustache."

"How hard would it be to track down Billings men with moustaches? I can hang around and look at the colors of any man that you find."

"Cowboy would know how to find them discretely."

"Then what?"

"I have an idea."

"Will you get in trouble with this idea?"

"Possibly, yes; possibly no."

"You and I make a good team, Winnie."

"Well, shave my brother's beard and call him a paleface."

"Are you trying to do a cowboy? I can't be a paleface because I'm aboriginal. That doesn't make any sense."

"Doing a cowboy is a lot harder than it looks."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 17

"You're looking for middle age guys with thin moustaches?" Cowboy repeated the description that Winnie had given him. They were sitting in his office on a late Saturday night. Nobody was around.

"Yeah. It's a possible link to Maddy's kidnapper. I thought you'd be able to conduct a discreet inquiry."

"You don't see many thin moustaches in Billings. Thick moustaches and beards, yes. Thin moustaches, no. Montanans consider such men as fancy-dancy men."

"Fancy-dancy means gay?"

"No, not gay. Montana has no tolerance for people who think that they're high class and put on airs, like dressing in fancy-dancy clothes."

"What would be considered fancy-dancy clothes?"

"A guy that comes to work in a three piece suit complete with a tie when everybody else is wearing jeans, a plaid shirt and a Stetson. They would consider that person to be pretentious, especially if he had a thin moustache."

"They would make fun of him?"

"Behind his back, yes. But not to his face. Fancy-dancies usually have important jobs and use their clothes to tell you that. They try to lord it over you. I'm important; you're not."

"So, it wouldn't take you long to make a list of possible suspects?"

"I can give you my list right now. Only one person in Billings would be able to get away with a thin moustache. Harold T. Wittleston. He's the prosecutor for the city of Billings and surrounding areas. He was a member of the committee that hired me."

"How important is he?"

"Winnie, I'll have to explain how the criminal justice system works in Montana first."

"OK."

"Minor cases in Montana are handled by a town sheriff who charges a criminal, puts him in a local lockup, and then waits for a traveling judge to come into town. The sheriff would act as prosecutor in that court case."

"What would be a minor case?"

"Robbery under $500, barroom brawls, domestic abuse, drunk and disorderly, shoplifting, peeing in public, copter accidents, to name a few."

"What's a major case?"

"Robbery over $500, any incident involving firearms, rape, assault resulting in major injuries, cattle rustling, importing sheep into the state, anything involving a death under suspicious circumstances, to name a few."

"Who handles those?"

"Billings and Missoula are the only two cities that have hired a prosecutor to handle major cases. The prosecutors would also work on cases sent to them by local surrounding sheriffs. The prosecutor would investigate, prepare his case, and put it in front of a judge and jury in Billings or in Missoula. Missoula takes cases from sheriffs in the western half of Montana, and Wittleston handles cases from the eastern half of the state."

"What about criminal cases in the two cities, Billings for example?"

"I have broad authority to levy fines and use the city jail as a threat. If it were a minor case that couldn't be handled by a fine or a one day lockup, I would present it to a traveling judge. If it were a major case, I would investigate and then hand it off to Wittleston for prosecution. He would decide if it should be prosecuted and, if so, he would handle the court case. I would probably be called as a witness."

"So, Wittleston is a busy man?"

"Not really. Montana people are generally law abiding. When I was in Helena, I never used a prosecutor. In the few cases that I thought were trouble, I generally ran the people out of town. Druggies, for example. If any of the local ranchers caught them, they'd stake them to the ground until they died. We had three hermits who had kidnapped and raped a local woman. She killed all three of them after she escaped. I never reported it. Local justice is swift."

"In the cities?"

"The same. Reese's assessment of Billings residents fit the profile for the state. We don't have major criminals in the state. People are generally law abiding."

"What do you think of Wittleston?"

"He wears fancy-dancy clothes that make him look ridiculous. He tries to speak with big words but he's not impressing anybody. Bean and I would go to a party if he invited us, but we'd leave early."

"Where's his office?"

"Yellowstone County Courthouse, 217 North 27th. It's a big square building, six storeys high, brown and yellow exterior. He has a corner office on the top floor that gives him a view of an impressive rimrock formation. I've been in that office."

"Reese should be able to find him."

"It won't be easy. Wittleston is on vacation. His deputy is handling the work. When he is in Billings, he goes out for coffee a lot. Prosecution is a high prestige job, but one that doesn't take up much time."

"How long has he been on vacation?"

"From about the time that Maddy...."

_[What Cowboy is saying right now is not suitable for tender ears. Incidentally, Cowboy really knows how to curse people.]_

"Remember, Maddy is safe, Cowboy," Winnie reassured. "Let me know when Wittleston gets back and Reese will look at him."

"I can't check Wittleston out in any way, Winnie. He'd know what I was doing five minutes after I asked my first question."

"That won't be necessary. But I may ask you to investigate people outside of Montana. You'd be able to go there in your uniform, right?"

"Yes, but with no real authority to act."

"That'll be good enough. Will you be pursuing your Fortuna lead?"

"Bean and I have arranged to have the same day off work. We'll be heading out on Wednesday morning."

"Are you taking your official copter?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Just wondering if you were allowed to."

### # # # # # # # #

The next morning, Winnie was meeting with Joe-Joe, Lillian and Keely in the usual meeting room. She came alone, deliberately.

"I'm here to update you on my search for my daughter Maddy. We've found her in Rat's old Rat*Mart store in SinSin-atti."

"Daughter?" Keely asked.

"I had her when I was 9 years old."

"Maddy is an orphan that Winnie's family adopted when both of her parents were killed," Lillian corrected. "For a short period of time, Winnie was acting as her mother."

_Lillian seems to know a lot about my family. Why would she know anything at all about Maddy?_

"For now, she's safe. The kidnapper has not returned. My working theory goes like this: the kidnapper is trying to sell her to a white slaver pervert named Reem but may be having difficulty finding that person. Keely can probably explain why."

...

"I remind you Keely that I can read faces, and I can become downright hostile when members of my family are threatened."

Winnie had already visibly reached the end of Hostility Road. Her body language was tight and angry. Her voice was low and menacing. The glare to the others around the table was disconcerting. _Nobody messes with my family_ was the message Winnie was projecting.

"You didn't need to know," Keely responded defensively.

"After she was kidnapped, I **did** need to know." A quick, angry rebuttal.

"I didn't know anything useful about Maddy's kidnapping. I didn't know that Reem would be part of the kidnapping."

"But you do know that Reem has been exterminated."

"Yes."

"For the record, who did that and how?"

_[Narrator: You already know this, so we'll skip ahead.]_

"How many members of my family do you have working for Heaven, Lillian?" Again, a low voice, like a judge might have before handing out a death sentence.

"They're not working for Heaven. They aren't on any records. You know that we can't do that and why."

"I know that, Lillian, so let's call them subcontractors, like me. How many members of my family are you putting into jeopardy on a regular basis as subcontractors other than me and Paula?"

"Three. Doc, Reese, and Kashmira," Keely responded.

"What about Cassie? She's been with our family ever since we found her as a ghost is South Africa."

"Cassie too, then. They're not really in jeopardy," Keely again.

"Having to fight for their lives against a devil named Reem isn't considered being in jeopardy?" An incredulous tone.

"That was a mistake," Keely admitted. "I didn't think that they'd encounter any devils. They were doing great against mortals. I was on site quickly. They have a devil stassis charger now."

"Tell me, what happens to angels who knowingly expose mortals to potential harm during a battlefield operation? I seem to recall being lectured about how I had put Arthur's career in jeopardy for doing that."

"She has you all packaged up and ready for shipping, Keely," Joe-Joe commented.

"Lillian too," Winnie added. "She gave permission."

"What do you want, Winnie?" Lillian asked.

"I want Maddy on my team."

"She's 12 years old," Lillian responded quickly.

"She was 11 years old when you influenced her to help a Zulu goddess named Umhonto."

"She didn't know anything that she could reveal. How'd you know that?"

"I didn't until you just told me. I can pull Maddy out of Hell safely, but she already knows that Heaven and Hell exist. Rat's store gave her plenty of evidence. I don't want her memory wiped. You'd have to remove too much."

"Do you know who put her there?"

"I do. I know his mortal name. I don't know his Hellish name yet. Do you know?"

"No, but I have a troublesome mortal agent who can access purgatory.net. It wouldn't be hard for her to find his name, if she were still working for us. If she weren't, well....."

"That's an interesting response," Joe-Joe said. "This is becoming interesting."

"I want access to Doc's team from time to time. They have to know about us, we have to know about them. No more secrets between us."

"She's upping the ante, Lillian."

"Well, shake my Granny's hands and give her two eggs to suck," Lillian retorted somewhat angrily at Joe-Joe.

"Where'd that come from?" Keely asked.

"It's an old, old saying. It mean I already thought of that. Do you want Maddy to have an angelic body?"

"Yes."

"Perhaps later. She shouldn't get an angelic body now."

"Why not?"

"Young teenagers are prone to blurt out whatever happens to be rolling around in their head at the time."

"Can you prevent that?"

"I could put a brake on the connection between Maddy's brain and her mouth."

"How would that work?"

"She'd begin to stutter if she were close to revealing sensitive matters."

"Will she know what the stutter means?"

"You'd have to warn her when you tell her about her working for us as a sub contractor if that's what we decide. What else would you want?"

"I want Maddy to have access to a mortal disguise. She has become vulnerable to sneak attacks. She'll use the disguise when she's operating undercover."

"Joe-Joe, can we do that?"

"No. She'll need an angelic body for that to work. But, we can hide knowledge of the body from her so that she can't access it until we want her to know about it."

"Until **I** want her to know about it."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Are we all agreed then?" Joe-Joe started to end the negotiations. It went better than he thought it would. "Lillian?"

"Yes, I agree."

"Winnie?"

"Yes, I agree."

"Will you satisfy a curiosity of mine, Winnie?"

"OK, Joe-Joe."

"Are you still mad?"

"I never was mad. I just pretended to be mad. Lillian showed me how to play that trick."

"That hurts," Lillian admitted.

"Am I clear to bring Maddy back to Earth?"

"Yes, when you're sure that her escape from Hell won't be noticed. On another matter, both Meghan and Paula have reported that Satan has reduced the number of shoulder demons on Earth as required by the new treaty. He did that by having all the light colored demons assassinated."

"Wow. That will get everybody worried down in Hell," Winnie observed.

"It certainly will. He's getting his new miners from the soup can souls and that will reduce the number of his agents further. We don't see any reason to have an undercover group in Hell now. Meghan's spies can keep us informed."

"I'd like Paula to remain in Hell so that she can keep Maddy company until I'm sure about the kidnapper."

"It's your team. You don't have to ask."

"OK. For your information, Paula will remain in Hell for a short time longer. I'm bringing Arthur back to Earth. Meghan is available if you need her."

"OK. For your information, having to work with teenagers can take centuries off your afterlife. You may regret bringing Maddy into your team."

"That's interesting. I've always found teenagers to be bright and a pleasure to be around."

"This is more fun than watching fake World Wide Wrestling combat," Joe-Joe said cheerfully.

"Watch the mouth, Joe-Joe. I know where you sleep."

"Do you listen in on me **everywhere** I go?" Winnie asked. "Bean said that!"

Lillian bent over to pick up something she hadn't dropped on the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said from underneath the table where her face couldn't be seen.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 18

Wednesday, Cowboy's police copter took off and headed in a north-west direction. He was in his civilian clothes as was Bean who was sitting in the co-pilot seat. Arthur was in a spiffy shoulder demon outfit complete with an imaginary pitchfork and was lounging invisibly in the seat reserved for prisoners. Bean and Cowboy weren't saying much. Neither was Arthur.

Cowboy and Bean had found the hardware catalog they were looking for in Morrison's store easily enough. It was in the bottom drawer of his office desk with the location of the business clearly marked. _Hardware for All, 16649 111th street, Redmond, Washington_. Redmond was one of the largest communities that had been left untouched by the quake of 48 that had demolished Seattle. Forty years later, British Columbia, Washington State, Oregon, and California had growing economies that needed hardware. A company that could supply hardware supplies easily and quickly to all four areas made a lot of sense. If you were planning to rebuild an economy, you'd need to rebuild office buildings, homes, and other infrastructure.

"We're looking for the man in charge," Cowboy said to the receptionist while flashing his badge and identifying himself as the Police Captain from Billings, Montana.

"Do you have something against women?" the receptionist shot back.

_[Ouch.]_

"Please pardon my partner," Bean said while she flashed her own old Helena deputy badge. "He's ignorant at times. I'd like to speak with the person in charge. We're on police business."

"Ms. Simmons is too busy to talk. Besides, you have no authority here."

"It's personal business. My daughter has been kidnapped," Bean continued. "We'd appreciate it if we could have a few minutes of her time. We know that Ms. Simmons will be able to help us."

"Kidnapped?"

"Twelve years old."

"She's nursing right now. You can come in. He can't."

### # # # # # # # #

Half an hour later, Bean began reporting to her misogynistic partner.

"Gordon Fortuna was a long time customer with Ms. Simmon's father who had started the wholesale business. He's still living, but doing poorly from an accident on the loading dock. She has been forced to take over her father's business in spite of being pregnant. Before she was pregnant, she had been working in her father's store since she was 5 years old. The hardware business is considered a male domain. They have fifteen employees of which only two are women. She wants to fire a bunch of them but can't because she wouldn't be able to find replacements. Apparently you need male reproductive equipment to know the difference between a faucet ring and an O-ring."

"Did you know the difference," Cowboy asked.

"Nope. But I did know that military men consider military women to be good at only one thing: sleeping bag testing. We talked about that for a while. They had a gun inventory. I browsed and played with them while she told me about her hardware business. I think she was impressed. You're going in the wrong direction, by the way."

Cowboy hovered the copter. "Care to share?"

"Men are pigs. Would you agree?"

"Yes, I definitely agree."

"Fortuna owns Ace Hardware that is located in Surrey BC. I have the address. I thought we might as well go now seeing as how we are only an hour away."

Cowboy turned the copter north. "About that sleeping bag testing. I thought I had heard all of your stories."

"The guy had a fatal accident before he could get around to testing."

"Good. Men can be such pigs. I don't know how you can stand us."

"Nice try, but is that all you've got?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Consider yourself oinked."

### # # # # # # # #

Winnie was looking through the Wilizy/America sailing ship that was moored over Las Vegas when she heard a drone's insistent beeping. _Wittleston is back in his office in Billings_ , she sent to Paula and Meghan who were waiting for this message in Halifax.

_Is everything a go?_ Meghan sent back.

_Yes. Let's set 2 pm SinSin-atti time for pick up._

### # # # # # # # #

Cowboy didn't get very far in Surrey. "We're sorry to intrude on you. We're from the Billings Police Department," and he was flashing his badge when Mrs. Fortuna interrupted.

"NO, NO, NO! You have to leave."

"Ma'am, we're trying to find our daughter...."

"No. I can't start our life all over again. You have to leave."

Bean stepped in. "Mrs. Fortuna, we understand that this might be hard for you, but our daughter Maddy has been kidnapped and we're sure you can help..."

"I can't believe he'd use you to find us. Will he never stop?" Mrs. Fortuna was clearly not listening. She picked up a monkey wrench _(or it could have been a crescent wrench, I get them confused)_ and began advancing on them, her weapon cocked for maximum wrenching.

By now, Arthur was on Gordon Fortuna's shoulder. _You should meet them at a local diner. Let your wife cool down. Tony talked about a girl who was in danger. You should meet them at a local diner. Let your wife cool down. Tony talked about a girl who was in danger. You should meet them at a local diner. Let your wife cool down. Tony talked about a girl who was in danger._

Bean and Cowboy were backing out of store. "Ma'am, we need your help," Bean tried again as she cleared the doorway.

Cowboy was close enough to Mr. Fortuna to whisper to him. "We know that Jim Dandy is involved. He didn't send us. Let us tell you our story, please."

_You should meet them at a local diner. Let your wife cool down. You should meet them at a local diner. You can hurt Jim Dandy if you tell them your story. Let your wife cool down. You should meet them at a local diner. Let your wife cool down. You can hurt Jim Dandy if you tell them your story._

Mr. Fortuna followed them out of the store to be sure they left. "We'll meet you at a restaurant three block west of here at 5:30. That will give me some time to calm my wife down. Jim Dandy is evil."

### # # # # # # # #

Arthur had shifted shoulders and was working on Mrs. Fortuna. _You can hurt Jim Dandy if you tell the police captain the whole story. He's new to the job. He wouldn't have been involved. He'll listen. He'll understand. His daughter has been kidnapped. Your family is together and safe. You can hurt Jim Dandy if you tell the police captain the whole story. He's new to the job. He wouldn't have been involved. He'll listen. He'll understand. His daughter has been kidnapped. Your family is together and safe. You can hurt Jim Dandy if you tell the police captain the whole story. He's new to the job. He wouldn't have been involved. He'll listen. He'll understand. His daughter has been kidnapped. Your family is together and safe._

### # # # # # # # #

Gordon Fortuna showed up at the restaurant alone. Bean and Cowboy were looking at the menus when he came in and sat down at their table.

"We'll help you as best we can. Talking about it will be very difficult, but perhaps telling the story will be good for us. Tony is at home now and has agreed to join us. Suzie is cooking a meal for us. Doing that will help her to stay calm. I have to apologize to Carla for stealing her customers. They're friends. They won't mind."

That duty done, Gordon led them back to the hardware store and up a set of stairs to an apartment above the store. They smelled something delicious as they entered the apartment. "We have three bedrooms, a large kitchen, dining room and living room. It's very similar to what we had in Billings, which is one of the reasons we chose this place."

"Suzie, we're here."

A _Hello_ wafted out of the kitchen.

"She doesn't want to come out right now. She'll listen in from the kitchen. TONY!"

"COMING."

Introductions were made and they agreed that first names should be used. Bean and Cowboy sat on a love seat while Arthur sat on top of a pink lamp shade, warming his feet, and wondering if he would be invited for dinner. Gordon took a single armchair. An empty rocking chair indicated where Suzie would sit, perhaps in time. Tony delivered a bottle of wine with three wine glasses on a tray and asked, "Does everybody want a glass?"

After the glasses were filled, Tony retreated into the dining room where he couldn't see anybody and nobody could see him.

"Tell us about your hardware store, Gordon. Why don't you start at the very beginning," Bean suggested.

"Always a good idea. My father, Graham, moved into Billings in 2045 with his new wife, Renate. The quake of 48 devastated the western states. It also struck the center of Billings. The city was struggling. My Grandfather had died that year and had left an inheritance for my dad. My dad wasn't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but he had enough capital to purchase a rundown hardware store and the land it sat on. His timing couldn't have been better. Billings began to recover and his hardware business prospered. He knew about a hardware wholesale business in Redmond that had taken a big gamble on the need for hardware stores to help communities rebuild. He set up an account with them. He had enough capital to buy an inventory that filled the store. The store prospered as Billings recovered. I came along in 2051 and my father built a second floor apartment on top of the store and moved in. Previously, they had been living in the back of the store on foam mattresses."

"Two generations of hardware merchants," Cowboy observed.

"It was supposed to be three generations," Gordon said. "Tony has been working in the store since he was six. All he ever wanted was to continue the family business."

"And then things started going bad," Bean prompted.

"Jim Dandy blew into town in 2080. He purchased a copter sales company and began promoting it. _For a jim-dandy new copter, talk to Jim Dandy_. He must have had a great deal with a copter manufacturer because his business growth was out of this world. Nobody in the state could match his prices and one by one, his competition went out of business. By 2088, Jim Dandy's Copter Company was the only copter provider in Montana."

"Dandy started looking for other businesses to acquire and spoke with me on a number of occasions. He wanted to buy the hardware store, building and land. He would give me a fair price, and then let me manage the store. I said _No_ every time. This was our family business. He didn't seem to understand that. Or, he had never had anybody stand up to him before."

"Tony was one year younger than Andy Dandy. He didn't run across him much in elementary or middle school. Andy was hanging out with older boys, although by that time he had developed a reputation for being a bully. Tony just stayed clear of him. That changed when Tony joined the football team. Tony is very quick, has good hands, and can catch a football if it's within jumping or diving distance. With the right quarterback, that team could have gone far. But Andy was in charge and had this stupid rule that all new team members had to prove that they would do whatever Andy wanted them to do. We didn't know that Tony would get a special hazing."

"A picture of Meifeng."

"Yes. Andy gave Tony a picture of Meifeng standing somewhere without any clothes on. Tony said that it was obviously her. There weren't too many Chinese girls in the city. Andy wanted her to pose for him so that he could take more naked pictures. Tony ripped up the picture and refused to talk to Meifeng about it. I'm proud of him for doing that and I told him that what happened was not his fault. ARE YOU HEARING ME, TONY?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Tony thought that there was only the one copy of the picture and ripping it up would stop Andy from bothering Meifeng. He was wrong about that. Andy flashed a picture of Meifeng to him each time he beat Tony up. Tony took the beating thinking that if he showed them that he could take it, the hazing would stop. It was at that point that your daughter Maddy saw the fight and stepped into it."

"Can we stop for a moment?" Cowboy asked. "Tony, can you remember the picture."

"It was hard to forget," a teenage voice said from the dining room.

"Did you notice anything unusual about the picture?"

"She wasn't wearing clothes."

"I mean other than that. Were her eyes red from a flash of a camera, for example? Did you see what kind of room she was in? Did you see a bureau, a bed, or a picture on a wall? Was she outside?"

"She was inside. The picture was quite dark and grainy. There was nothing around her. It looked like she was reaching out for something with her right hand."

"Cheap camera?"

"Perhaps. I don't believe there was a flash."

"How much of her was in the picture? From feet to head?"

"Not her feet. Knees to head."

"What size. Full picture? Wallet size picture?"

"Not full. But not tiny either. You didn't have to squint to see her."

"Anything about the paper that the picture was printed on?"

"Paper."

"Was it thicker photographic paper?"

"No. Paper like you'd hand in for an assignment."

"You got to know Maddy?"

"Yes, she was working in Meifeng's restaurant next door. We'd wave at each other some times."

"And you talked to her before you left Billings. Why?"

"I wanted to warn her about Andy and his bullying. I knew that he'd get his two sisters to bully her at Castlerock."

"She didn't buy it."

"No. I should have told her the real reason I warned her."

"Tell me about that, " Bean interrupted Cowboy's soft interrogation.

"I'd see Andy from time to time. He'd come into the store and pretend to shop. I had to help him find things that he had no intention of buying. He told me that he was going to get my new girlfriend. The blonde."

"Did he say how?"

"Not in detail. Just something about getting a picture of her and fixing her for good."

"What kind of picture did you think he was talking about?"

"Andy is heavy into porn pictures. Most of the football team is too. Some stores in town sell it."

"If he could get a picture of Meifeng without any clothes on, then Maddy ..."

"Yeah. I thought that he might be able to take one of Maddy too."

"Did you tell your parents?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I had been looking at porn too. I didn't want them to find out. I've stopped. I told my parents about it when we got here. They said that I wasn't to blame for us coming here."

"Gordon, tell them how we ended up in Surrey with a hardware store."

"Good idea, Suzie. I used Buy'n Sell Online. It's a business organization that can help business buyers hook up with business sellers. Everything about the sale is privileged information. The organization verifies that the person selling the business actually does own it. They also verify that the person buying has the money to buy it. The money for the purchase goes into a special confidential account. The deed of sale and land property certificates goes into another special confidential account. If everything is completed properly, the sale goes through. I used that service to sell the hardware store, the apartment, and the land."

"Do you know who bought it?"

"A guy named Morrison. I didn't care so long as it wasn't Jim Dandy. That was one of my stipulations."

"Did you get a good price?"

"No, but that's not important. At least we're together as a family and we're safe."

"Are you investigating Jim Dandy, Cowboy?" This voice came out of the kitchen.

"Yes, Suzie. I am. Some friends are investigating him too."

"Will you catch him?"

"I'll do my best, Suzie."

"Once he's on a case, Cowboy doesn't quit, Suzie."

"I want to help if I can. Jim Dandy doesn't get to ruin our lives."

"Count us all in, Cowboy," Gordon said. "Tell us about Maddy's kidnapping."

"Let's talk over supper," Suzie said and dishes in the kitchen began to clink.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 19

Thursday, Winnie teleported through the wall of Rat*Mart's storage room at 1:00 pm SinSin-atti time. She wanted to give herself a full hour to talk with Maddy about becoming an angelic sub contractor. She figured Maddy would react excitedly to the offer and would have lots of questions. She wanted to give her time to calm down before Meghan's transportation souls arrived. They would secure her inside a transportation container and sneak her out of Hell at the commercial border. Paula would be at the destination to help her out. It wouldn't do to have an excited girl confined inside a coffin for the trip back to Earth.

Winnie assumed her mortal body, pushed through two swinging doors, and stood in one of the aisles by the tool department listening.

THUNK!

...

THUNK

....

Intrigued, Winnie went invisible and slipped down the store aisles until she could see what was making the strange noise.

THUNK.

Maddy had just thrown a baseball from midway down an aisle and into one of Rat's check out boxes. The thunk sound was the sound of the baseball hitting the back of the box.

THUNK.

Paula was in her scorpion body and had a bat in one hand and a baseball in the other. Maddy was squatting on her feet, her butt low to the ground, and with a catcher's mitt in her left hand. As Winnie watched, Paula tossed the ball softly into the air and tapped the ball onto the floor in front of her. Maddy exploded out of her squat, grabbed the ball in her right hand, wheeled and fired the ball into the cage.

THUNK.

"You have just thrown out ten base runners trying to steal second base. That last throw was your fastest."

"I tried my hardest on that one. I wish I could measure the speed."

"Do you want to work on the left arm?"

"I won't need to throw to second with the left arm. Let's try the left hand from the pitcher's mound."

Maddy and Paula picked up all of the balls lying on the floor by the check out box and relocated to another aisle where a small square pillow was lying on the floor. Paula took the glove and squatted behind the pillow. Maddy went to the middle of the aisle with the ball bag and stood on what looked like a snoopy beanbag that was stuffed full of white feathers. Four large spikes anchored the beanbag to the floor.

_[Before I go further, try to imagine Paula squatting behind a pillow in her dinosaur body. You should visualize her scorpion tail resting on the floor in such a way that Paula could maintain the squat. Her turtle shell upper body served as a chest protector just like a human catcher would have. To protect her face, Paula had added a clear face visor from the tools department. Now, go ahead and sell that image to a comic book author.]_

"I still can't control the ball at all," Winnie apologized.

"Is it the mound?"

"No, I don't have any trouble with the right hand from the mound. My left arm action is wrong. Maybe I should try a leftie side arm. I'll have to think about that."

"Want to try rightie now."

"Yeah. Ten fastballs coming up.

Whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, whop, and whop.

"Right down the middle of the plate. Do you want to work on increasing the speed or trying different placements?"

"I probably need a proper mound if I'm going to put everything I've got into the throw. Tomorrow you can tell me where you want the ball. I want to try the curve ball now. You'll probably need to be on your knees. This won't be pretty."

With the new position, Paula's scorpion tail was now in the air. The turtle shell protector came in handy blocking the ball from getting through most of the time after it bounced in front of the plate.

Clup, clup, clup, clup, clup, clup, clup, clup, clup and clup.

"I can see the spin, but the ball is breaking downward too early. Perhaps too much spin?"

"Or not enough velocity. Or I have to aim higher. I know I have the correct hand grip."

"Hi guys!"

"Winnie!" Paula welcomed Winnie coming out of invisibility.

"Nymph is helping me practice. I want to try being a pitcher next year. Are you taking me home?"

"Not really."

"That means _No_. I have another hour of practice to go. Can we try some base running now, Nymph?"

"Maddy, we need to talk."

### # # # # # # # #

"OK, I get the reason for the secrecy. If I start to stutter, that means that I should watch what I'm about to say. How can they do that?"

"It's Heaven, remember. The place for miracles."

"But Heaven can't rescue me and take me home?"

"We could have you home in five seconds, but there'd be consequences. The devil that kidnapped you would see you inn Billings. He'd wonder how you managed to escape from Hell. He knows that you couldn't have done it on your own. He would conclude that Heaven helped. At that moment, a whole lot of bad things would happen that could affect thousands of lives. Having the power to do something is not as important as knowing when to use that power and how to do that so innocent people don't get hurt."

"What weapons would I have if I agreed to work for them?"

_[Fighting is the most important thing for her, Winnie.]_

_[Got it.]_

"If I were running an operation on Earth and you and I were going up against normal humans, we'd probably use Wilizy weapons and we'd be in Wilizy bodies. Heaven and Hell aren't normally allowed to fight violent battles on Earth."

"So, I wouldn't have more battles if I joined?"

"Not battles that involved deathly weapons and ended up in mortal deaths."

"What about my kidnapper. Does he walk away free?"

"No. Your kidnapper broke a serious rule that devils have to abide by. The consequence for breaking that rule is death for that devil."

"Are you going to do that?"

"No, if you join and if you agree to all the secrecy that you will have to follow, you will bring justice to that devil."

"Are you taking over my plan?"

"No. You will use the plan that you have already practiced."

"Huh."

### # # # # # # # #

"What does an angel body look like?"

Winnie demonstrated.

"You can change bodies that quickly?"

"Yes"

"Are those feet uncomfortable."

"No. You get used to them, but normally, I'm not standing in an angel body in the middle of a grocery store."

"Aren't you warm in all those feathers?"

"An angel's body does not get warm like a human's body."

"How fast can you fly?"

"Not all that fast. In Heaven, you don't need to fly fast. On Earth, you can't use a visible angel body."

"So not as fast as a sling then."

"No."

"So why should I join up if I can't fight very much and if I can't fly fast?"

"We have ways to move other than flying. Let me show you. Think of something in your bedroom in Billings and describe it. Nymph knows where your bedroom is and will bring it to you here. It has to be small enough for her to carry."

"I have a sign hanging on my bedroom door."

...

"Is this it?" Nymph asked?

"Yes. That couldn't have been more than five seconds. How'd you do that?"

"Winnie will explain. I have to take it back."

"Nymph is usually faster but she had to get out of Hell first and that requires some caution. When she's on Earth, she can travel instantaneously. I don't understand the science of how she does that. I can travel from Earth to Heaven instantaneously too."

"I'm back."

"Would I be able to travel like that?"

"In time, you might. You have to learn how to use powers that are given to you. You don't know how to use them automatically. For you, Heaven will give you limited powers to start with. You have to prove that you deserve to have them before you get more."

"By keeping the powers secret."

"Yes, and by using them only when it's necessary to bring a bad person to justice."

"If I can't fight, what powers will I have?"

"For now, you'll have the ability to mind message to other angels using your angel body. It operates differently than the Wilizy brain plug."

"Is that all?"

"You and I will run an operation in Billings in which we will learn more about the devil that kidnapped you. You cannot appear in Billings as Maddy. Your angel body will allow you to disguise yourself so that nobody will recognize you, not even your parents."

"Show me?"

Winnie showed Maddy another of her mortal bodies and then shifted back to her regular Winnie body.

"It works that fast?"

"You have to plan what the body looks like ahead of time. You should choose a body that is quite close to your own body in terms of height and weight. You should not try to become a six foot giant because you'll have trouble operating the strange body."

"The clothes?"

"They can be anything you want them to be. Just visualize them. They will fit perfectly automatically. When you're finished with them, think them off."

"No laundry?"

"Not for those clothes. You still have to launder your earthly clothes."

"I hate laundry."

"I gathered that."

"You and I are going undercover?"

"Yes."

"Who'll be in charge?"

"You'll get to bring justice to your kidnapper. I will plan the undercover operation but you will operate in disguise on your own when you are collecting information."

"Where will you hide me?"

"The Wilizy/America sailing ship. It's moored over Las Vegas right now. It's fully stocked. I checked."

"Can Nymph continue to help me with my baseball?"

"That's up to her."

"I'd like to continue to help you Maddy, but I want to have a mortal body when I do. This devil body is hard to move in. You'll have to agree to all of Heaven's rules though."

"Can I see my moms and dads?"

"Yes. I'll explain to them why you have to remain hidden until we close the operation. Here's your story. You remember somebody with a gift parcel putting a needle into your foot. You woke up in a sort of cell. But you were fed properly, you slept in a comfortable bed, and you had to put on a blindfold whenever somebody came into the cell. You remember somebody putting a needle into your foot once again, and then you woke up on the ship and I was with you. How well you answer the questions that your moms and dads will ask you will determine if Heaven can trust you. Remember, if you start to stutter, think twice about what you were about to say."

"Did they miss me?"

"I'll let you figure that out on your own. What's your decision? Do you want to work for Heaven and follow all of its rules?"

"Yes."

Turns out that Winnie's moms and dads did miss her and went to the ship to welcome her home. Winnie swore them to secrecy though. News of Maddy's presence in an invisible ship over Las Vegas never made it to Gossip Central.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 20

Later that evening, Cowboy, TG, and William were busy setting up a mini-baseball training center in the hold of the Wilizy/America. Maddy was telling them what baseball was. None of three men knew anything about the sport. They did know how to construct things. It didn't take them long to go from constructing to playing.

Maddy now had a proper pitching mound and a home plate securely fastened to the hold at the exact locations they should be. Right now, she was on the mound, pitching rightie. Wolf planned to design a camera that could record her pitching action and give her a read out of the ball's speed at the same time. Right now, he was trying to learn how to be a catcher. William would use the natural contours of the hold to propel the pitched balls into a return system that was similar to how bowling balls were returned to bowlers in the olden days. Right now, he was standing at the plate swinging vigorously but unsuccessfully. Cowboy was behind the plate calling balls and strikes. The three men would change positions after being struck out, which was happening far too frequently for their fragile male egos.

On their to-do list was a pitching machine in another part of the hold that would lay down simulated bunts or pop-ups. Maddy would be behind a home plate and would have a wooden target resembling a second baseman to throw to.

Also on the to-do list was a proper pitching machine and a batting cage.

### # # # # # # # #

On deck, the Wilizy brain trust (a.k.a. the women) was meeting to come up with a plan. Winnie informed them that Jim Dandy and Harold T. Wittleston were definitely in cahoots and both were responsible for Maddy's kidnapping. Her colleagues in her security company had managed to rescue Maddy, but to do that, they had to let the key kidnapper escape. Her company had asked Winnie to work with her family and bring the proper people to justice. Winnie informed them that a colleague from the security company would be joining her soon in Montana. She'd find a place to live outside of Billings.

Winnie also asked Maddy's moms and dads to take it easy asking Maddy questions about her experience. "It would be best if she could just focus on baseball. Let her forget what happened," she said. Hence, the focus on building a baseball training center for her.

Winnie also reinforced the idea that Maddy had to remain out of sight from Jim Dandy or Wittleston; thus, attending school in Billings was out of the question. Mac offered to home school her in the ship in the mornings. This news was not received with great rapture at Maddy's end, but she agreed that she had to keep up with her classmates. That led to an agreement that if Maddy passed her school's semester exams, she could transfer to Riverside Middle School at the beginning of the second semester. This was the school that all of her BBB teammates were attending.

As to the plans regarding Jim Dandy, Melissa would take care of planning an operation that would punish him appropriately. Winnie would plan an operation to take care of Wittleston. They would share information that touched on both of their operations.

First up: Computers: TG would hack into whatever computers were in Jim Dandy's home and his copter business. He'd do the same with Wittleston's office and home computer. TG would download and circulate any information that looked promising. TG would also report if either men had security devices in their homes or offices that they needed to disable.

Next: Drones. Winnie and Mac would place drones throughout Jim Dandy's home and his copter business. They'd also plant drones in Wittleston's office and his home.

Next: TG would get copies of their business' accounting books and pass them on to the Wilizy who could examine them. If necessary, Dreamer or Wizard would be asked to review the books.

Winnie didn't describe what she'd be doing after she had planted the drones. Whatever it was, she'd be doing it in the afternoons with her colleague from out of town.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 21

In the days following their meeting in the ship, the Wilizy installed their surveillance systems. TG first examined all the possible locations where they might want to break in and determined that no security systems were in place. He was delayed a little because nobody knew where Wittleston lived. TG followed him home from work quite easily and added his address to the data boards that William set up so that everybody could receive reports from others in the team and store those reports on their pinky rings. He noted that the small flat that Wittleston was renting held little that was personal in nature and showed few signs of his presence.

With home/office security systems no longer a concern, Winnie accompanied Maddy and watched her as she used Wilizy techniques to enter all the suspects' homes and offices and place drones.

TG found all the possible computers and hacked into each of them on site in the middle of the night. He copied every data file that looked like it might contain useful information, especially spreadsheets. He did a search through their email folders for any communications between the Dandy computers and Wittleston's office computer and found nothing.

Melissa agreed with TG that Wizard and/or Dreamer should have a first look at the business books so that they could narrow their search down. There was a lot of data. Both were entering Christmas break soon at the university and would be able to devote all their attention to those files when they came home. TG advised all of them that Jim's wife, Fine'n, was Jim's accountant. He also warned all of them the Wittleston's office computer appeared to contain only work related files. He had copied them nonetheless, but suggested that they could be discarded relatively early in the search for useful information.

Winnie asked Cowboy if he could generate a list of families and especially business owners who had left Billings in the last three years. They knew that two businesses had been forced out of town. _[Fortuna and his hardware business; Meifeng Li's father's restaurant.]_ Were there more? Cowboy said that this information was readily available in the city's tax and property records. He could look at this without raising eyebrows.

### # # # # # # # #

"I don't see why I can't have a body like this."

Maddy was pushing back on details of the body she would wear when she was pretending to be Winnie's colleague from out of town. Maddy had selected the name _Fanny Fandigity_ for her new body. This itself was a compromise. She had wanted to be named _Fanny Fandigitydog_. Winnie won that discussion by saying that the name was too long to appear on the banner of Maddy's media articles. The two of them would be interviewing certain people and revealing some very disturbing news in the same way as Molly Moonblossom had done by writing news articles that would be read widely, they hoped. They agreed that Fanny Fandigity without the 'dog' wasn't any weirder than Molly Moonblossom. Both of them were memorable.

But, Fanny's body was another matter. Maddy had wanted to see some samples of bodies that she could wear. Winnie showed her a few of the bodies she had in her angel memories. Paula did the same. Paula's nymphomaniac's body was much more interesting than the bodies that Winnie wore. Maddy used the nymph look as a starting point for her own body.

_[Maddy now knew that Nymphomaniac was actually Paula, the mother of the twins. The theory was: if you're going to swear Maddy to secrecy, you might as well swear her to all the secrets. Emphasis on the word 'theory']_

"You can't even lean over without revealing yourself," Winnie had argued.

"I'll wear fancy underwear."

"You're top heavy. The high heels will have to go. You could fall on your face."

"I'll give up the high heels. They're uncomfortable."

"And the skirt? It's too tight and it's way too short."

"I'll wear fancy underwear."

"I understand why you want to be sexy. I did the same sort of thing in one of my operations. I dressed like a prostitute. But in that operation, I WAS a prostitute. You're supposed to be an investigative news reporter who breaks amazing stories. You're not a prostitute."

"How far did you have to go to show that you were a prostitute?"

"Pretty far. The pictures were sensational. But the guys I was working on never saw me in my costume and Marie was always in the bedroom in case they woke up. No man saw me in my costume."

"Did men see you in the pictures?"

"Well, yes, but they didn't see anything naughty."

"They saw your body, that's something."

"Nothing that they wouldn't see on a beach."

"Did you design your on clothes?"

"I created the costume but Mom and Marie had to approve it."

"How old were you when you were an underage prostitute?"

"I was thirteen."

"I'll be thirteen in a few months."

"It's not the same."

"Why not? You got to be sexy and you're beautiful. Why can't I pretend to be sexy and beautiful?"

"You'll be sexy and beautiful when you're older."

"Give me a break."

"Really, you will."

"Winnie, some girls at school called me _Maddy the Flatty_. That won't change as I get older. I know because Mac arranged for me to see my mom. I saw here naked. I know what's not waiting for me."

...

"I understand now. What they called you was harsh."

"I pretended that I didn't care what they said, but I did."

"Yes, you would care. I would too if people were calling me that. I never had to be in a school with other kids. Girls can be really cruel to each other. They would have called me something too. Like _In'jun squaw_. You're white. White girls are never teased about their skin color."

"I want to look sexy, even if it's only pretend."

"I'll make you sexy and beautiful. But, you have to remember that you are in an operation where you are trying to pull secrets out of the man you're interviewing. You can't have him drooling over you and trying to peek under your clothes. I don't care if he sees fancy underwear. It's not an effective way to get information."

"I don't like peekers. The cadets were always peeking at me. That's why I quit."

"So, let's make you beautiful, sexy, and charming. You'll make the men want to tell you their secrets to impress you."

"I don't know how to do that."

"I'll make you so beautiful that you'll just have to sit and smile at them."

"I can force myself to do that."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 22

"So, tell me what you're going to do," Winnie prompted Maddy.

"I'll use the anonymous white Wilizy copter that you parked in Las Vegas to go from town to town. When I get to a town, I will go into the town hall and ask if they used to have a copter sales business. They will ask why I am asking and I'll introduce myself and say that I'm writing a news article on issues that small town businesses in Montana face and I'd like to interview the owner of that business. I'll hint that my article will probably be read throughout the state. Whenever possible, I will ask for help from a man and I will smile a lot."

"What will you do if you are talking to a woman, the librarian for example?"

"I'll be all business. I'll mention that I'm a colleague of Molly Moonblossom if anybody asks what news agency I'm working for."

"People always respond positively when they have a chance to see their name published. The town will like the publicity too, which is why the town hall is a good place to start. If the former owner isn't living in the town any longer, what will you do?"

"I'll ask if any former employees are in town. If that doesn't work, I'll ask the local sheriff if he would help me with my article. Sheriffs know just about everything that happens in these towns. I'll mention that I'm interviewing other copter sales owners in the state and say that it would be good for the town if I could include them in the article."

"OK, you are now sitting across from the person you're going to interview. What do you do?"

"I'll ask him if he minds if I tape the interview and take a picture of him. He will likely agree. I will take several pictures of him and then put my pinky ring on the desk or table. I will start the interview formally: 'Interview with so and so, position title, on such a date.' Then I'll ask my first question."

"You probably won't be able to ask questions in the order you've pre-prepared. If so, let his answer guide you into the next question. If something is particularly important, ask for details. Remember, you really do want to know why the business failed. Be sympathetic. Ask about the impact on his family, for example. We want to know what it was about Jim Dandy's Copter Company that made them the only place in Montana that sold copters."

"I'll ask a question and smile. I'll look at his face the whole time he's talking. I will lean forward a little to show that I am truly interested."

"Yes, men like to believe that you are hanging on their every word. They like to see a beautiful woman smiling at them. If they ask you if you'd like to go upstairs and see their apartment, you may have to tone it down a bit."

"Yeah, right."

"You're twenty-two years old, with long flowing blonde locks. You have an intriguing dimple that appears when you smile. You'll knock them dead, Maddy. Do you have your list of towns to go to?"

"Yes."

"After I've interviewed Jim Dandy, I'll do the same thing with my list. I have the longer list because you have to be in the ship for your classes in the morning and for your baseball in the evening. If you don't get to interview everybody on your list, that won't be a big deal. We'll probably have a good idea what happened to the state's copter sales businesses by the end of the second day or third day. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Go get'em, girl."

...

_Arthur, can you make sure that the men want to answer her questions?_

_Yes. I'll make sure that they will want to tell her their tale of woe. Were you serious about me influencing them to come on to her?_

_Definitely. Her costume is still too revealing. At least one man should offer to disappear with her for a while. Not a sheriff though. Can you do that?_

_That won't be difficult to arrange. She's the second most beautiful woman I've ever seen._

_Good answer, Sweetie._

_Sweetie?_

_I'm trying out endearments, Pumpkin Head._

_Sweetie is better._

### # # # # # # # #

From William's mental message board.

_Cowboy: It looks like_ Wittlesto _n will be in his office for a while. He has a mountain of paperwork to work through. I've looked through the city records for evidence of businesses that have left Billings. The only two I found were the ones that we already knew about._

_TG: I've conducted a more intensive search through the computer files looking for correspondence between the Dandy family and_ Wittleston _. I didn't find any emails._

_Melissa: Dreamer told me that she has finished her exams and will start examining the financial data that we sent her tomorrow. Wizard has two more exams to go._

_Cowboy: I doubt that this has anything to do with_ Wittleston _, but I'll add this to the notes. The guy that took over the Chinese restaurant formerly owned by Meifeng's dad went out of business and left town last week._

_Melissa: Was he forced out?_

_Cowboy: No sign of that. We got the impression that he didn't know what he was doing. His food was terrible and over priced. The place was deserted when Bean and I ate there._

_TG: Why would a guy who doesn't know how to cook Chinese meals buy a Chinese restaurant? That doesn't make any sense._

_Melissa: Add that to the long list of things that don't make any sense._

### # # # # # # # #

Winnie's estimate of three days to learn about the copter sale business was dead on. It is now Saturday morning, November 29, and Maddy's parents and guardians are meeting in the ship's living room. Paula and Arthur are listening in as well. Winnie has just emphasized that meeting in the ship where Maddy could be part of the group would help her feel part of her own rescue. Prior to that though, she had this conversation with Maddy.

_One of the reasons you're invited to this meeting is because I haven't been able to give you a full report on my interviews. But, this meeting is also a test for you. We will be talking about things that you already know. I want to know if you can keep your role in these interviews a secret. You can't say anything that will reveal your knowledge. You have to pretend that this is all new to you. Your best bet is to stay quiet or ask questions. Do not comment. That's when you might reveal prior knowledge._

_I guess I can't tell them that a guy wanted to sleep with me._

_Probably not a good idea. How'd you handle that?_

_I told him that my girl friend wouldn't like that._

_Good answer. Did you think that up on the spot?_

_No. Other than the sheriffs, I had to start making excuses why I couldn't sneak away with them from the first interview on. I had to plan what to say in advance cause I didn't expect it at first._

_How'd you feel about that?_

_It got creepy real fast._

_Welcome to Lylah' and Lohla's world. They have horror stories if you ever want to hear them._

_Can I change the body?_

_I guess we could do that. Only if you really want to though._

### # # # # # # # #

Winnie started her report:

"Jim Dandy's Copter Company is a full service copter sales and maintenance business. They are the only copter sales business in the state of Montana and feel their obligation is to give quality service to their customers statewide. For customers who are close to Billings, they offer one-day maintenance service, which includes a free copter wash. Copters are reasonably easy to maintain and service. Batteries, starter engines and rotor maintenance are the most likely source of problems. They recommend annual check ups and provide any maintenance that might be needed at that time. If the customer meets this annual inspection requirement, they will send a mechanic to any downed copter for free on a weekend. That would mean they didn't have to pay for parts or labour. In effect, choosing to have maintenance every year meant that they were guaranteed to own a copter that was problem free. Jim Dandy employs local mechanics including his three children who provide the mobile maintenance service on weekends."

"For customers who are not close to Billings, Jim Dandy will offer annual inspections and maintenance at the customer's home through their mobile service. Costs for that service are higher than what Billings customers would see because the inspection and maintenance include the cost of a mechanic coptering out of Billings. The company defends these charges as reasonable given that ordering an annual inspection and maintenance means that their copter is guaranteed to be problem free for a year."

"Jim Dandy credits his success to the quality of the service and the low prices he has to pay to the copter manufacturer. He receives large scale discounts because of the number of copters he purchases."

"Any questions?"

...

"Now here's the story of Jim Dandy's business as seen through the eyes of his former competitors. This information includes reports from Fanny, my colleague from the security company. She used the name Fanny Fandigity to interview the former owners. I used my Molly Moonblossom identity when I was interviewing."

"Only one copter manufacturer exists in the western United States. That manufacturer sells only one type of personal copter, although that copter may be sold under a different trade name depending on who is re-selling it. The differences between the brands are negligible. They have different paint jobs and insignia, but the fundamental copter body and engine are the same. The manufacturer can't afford to use different parts in its copters. A starter engine in brand A is the same starter engine that's in Brand B."

"According to Jim Dandy's former competitors, the manufacturer did NOT provide discounts for large orders. He was already selling them at the lowest cost he could offer. Fanny found one competitor who had had been buying from the manufacturer for years and knew the owner well. He confronted the owner for selling copters to Jim Dandy at a lower price than he was selling them to him, a long-term customer. The manufacturer denied that he was doing that and showed him an invoice to Dandy's company. The selling price was identical to what the long term buyer received."

"Fanny and I frequently heard claims that Jim Dandy was selling his copters at a loss. No way could his competitors compete with that. They held on for as long as they could and then declared bankruptcy. After all of the competitors were gone, Jim Dandy expanded his company to a statewide presence and increased his prices."

"Now, as to copter maintenance. Rotors, batteries, and starter engines are designed to last ten years and often last even longer. Putting customers on a yearly maintenance schedule would be pushing them into a service that they did not need. Customers would be paying to replace parts that were not broken. Many of his competitors suspected, but could not prove, that those 'used parts' became 'new parts' when they arrived back in the shop. Questions? Comments?"

Cowboy was the first to respond. "I see slimy business practices. But, it would be hard to prove any of those suspicions in a court of law and I wouldn't know what law Dandy had broken. The customers are agreeing to have a service that includes exorbitant costs for materials they don't need. It's shady, but there's nothing criminal about that."

"Where'd he get the money to subsidize his copter business?" Mac asked.

"That is a good question," Cowboy responded. "But receiving money from an undisclosed source is not a crime. The answer could be a simple as having a long term credit line at a bank which he is repaying now that he has a monopoly."

"We should still find the source," Melissa suggested. "Dreamer has the company's books. I'll ask her if she can see a loan."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 23

The evening of Tuesday, December 2 found Dreamer meeting with Maddy's family and Maddy in the ship's living room. Winnie was there as well and she had two invisible companions.

"I've browsed through the data that you sent me and have some initial observations. I found two completely separate sets of electronic accounting books. The first set was for Jim Dandy's Copter Company. There was no attempt to conceal the identity of those books, or the structure of the books. Almost everything was labeled and understandable. I'll describe these in more detail in a minute. The data that I had were for the current year and a profit/loss statement is generated automatically each new day. The company is very profitable. "

"The second set of books was not transparent at all. The books were identified as belonging to Company #345666."

_[Did you notice the last three digits?]_

_[Hell's favourite three digits.]_

_[That's not a coincidence. Clearly Hell is involved and that ties_ Wittleston _to Jim Dandy through this numbered company.]_

_[Not provable.]_

_[Confirming, though.]_

### # # # # # # # #

Bean was now describing the Jim Dandy Copter Company books in more detail.

"Everything in the books is transparent. I can see revenue coming in to the company and I know where it came from. Copter sales, for example. I can see expenses and I know what they are. Copter purchases, for example. I looked to see if he had any loans outstanding that might explain why he could sell copters at a loss. He has no current loans. The profit and loss statement looks right. There's also a current inventory of copters that they have on their lot but which are not sold yet."

"How are they identified?" Cowboy asked.

"By a copter identification code of some kind. Three letters plus five digits. I assume that each copter has its own ID."

"That's right," Cowboy confirmed. "Sheriffs will use this ID to check if a copter is stolen, for example. A brass engraved plate is attached inside the engine compartment. It's easy to check that plate against the official records in the state copter vehicle bureau. So the books are good?"

"Without checking for copies of receipts and invoices, I'd say yes, the books look real. I did find something funny though."

"Funny as in funny hah hah?"

"No. Funny as in _this shouldn't be here_. For example, you would expect a copter company that services copters to have a complete customer list. That list might include details about the copter ID and when it was last serviced. In addition, since Jim Dandy has a one year guarantee on his service, you would expect to see when any servicing was done and what was replaced."

"Was that not done?"

"It was done. Browsing through those data, I learned that most of Jim Dandy's customers had opted for the one-year renewal of battery, rotor, and starter engine. He's making a lot of money off that."

"What was unusual?" Bean asked.

"Jim Dandy not only has full list of all of his customers; he has a full list of **every family in Montana**. The data are organized by town, by street address, and by name. He can look down that spreadsheet and immediately know all the citizens in the entire state who haven't bought a copter from him yet."

"Is that against the law, Cowboy?" Mac asked.

"There's no law prohibiting him from that data, but it is highly improper. Those data come from records that are closed to normal citizens. The source of the data could be tax accounts or census records. Having these data gives him an enormous advantage in his marketing. He can send flyers to only the people who might want his copters."

"Would a city prosecutor have access to those sources?" Winnie asked.

"Most definitely. We can't prove it, but that's how he got the information."

### # # # # # # # #

"What about the books for the numbered company?" Yollie asked after the hubbubbing about the prosecutor giving Jim Dandy statewide data on Montanans had de-hubbed.

"Completely incomprehensible," Bean replied. "I know that account book belongs to Company #345666, because that's the name of the spreadsheet booklet. I can see a profit and loss statement and understand it. I can see what appears to be a daily record of the company's bank account and I know that the company has a lot of cash sitting there. But I have no idea of what the money coming in and going out represents. Mrs. Dandy uses an alphanumeric code to describe it. I know the company sells something, but not what. I know that the numbered company is even more profitable than the copter business. But without finding her coding system, I can't tell you anything more about the business."

"She won't have a list of her codes hidden away somewhere," Winnie said. "There's no point looking for it."

"Agreed," Cowboy agreed. "Do we have any hints at all what this company does?"

"No," Dreamer replied. "But, here's something interesting though. These books have almost the same statewide list of customers that are in the copter books. The data are organized by town and by street address. I don't see the purchaser's name. A lot of people bought something from this numbered company. Jim Dandy knows exactly who hasn't bought anything from this company too."

"So, all we know is that the company sells its product statewide and it's popular," Melissa concluded.

"There are only so many products like that. How hard would it be to guess what they're selling?" Yollie asked.

Turn out that it was very hard indeed.

### # # # # # # # #

"We're not getting anywhere with this line of investigation," Winnie observed.

"I'm out of ideas," Bean admitted.

"Let's try a different approach," Winnie suggested. "We should start with this fact: Something is wrong with Castlerock's girls' locker room. Candy tried to bully Maddy into having a shower. A camera is in there somewhere."

"Maddy, did you ever use one of those showers?" Yollie asked.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Yollie again.

"Yes. I felt creepy about using them especially because Candy was so insistent that I take a shower."

"Bean and I learned from Tony Fortuna that Andy was going to get even with Maddy by taking a picture of her without her clothes. Bean and I were certain that it would be similar to Meifeng's. "

"I'm not taking my clothes off again if I'm not in this ship."

"We'll talk about that, Stinky," Mac said but smiled as she did so.

"Two different pictures are connected to Andy," Cowboy said.

"Andy is connected to Jim Dandy," Dreamer connected.

"My people are telling me that Jim Dandy is connected to Wittleston," Winnie revealed. "We can't prove it yet, but we should assume that it's a fact."

"Did somebody check those stalls for cameras?" Yollie was pursuing an obvious line of questioning.

"I checked them with William's camera detector," Maddy answered. "Bean was with me. We didn't find any cameras."

"TG has to check that changing room," Mac insisted.

"I'll ask him to give it a long hard look," Melissa agreed.

"Am I missing something here?" Dreamer asked.

"You should assume that everything about that numbered company is corrupt," Winnie replied.

"I was leaning that way anyway," Dreamer replied.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 24

Winnie was messaging Arthur and Paula _. Wittleston is on the move. My drone on his copter is chirping nice and steady. I'm not sure where he's going yet, but he's flying east. I'm in my sling and flying beside him. Paula, could you get more drones out of my closet at home before you join me? Arthur, can you lock onto me?_

_Not when you're in your mortal body. Go to feathers for a minute._

_Done._

...

_I'm right behind you now._

### # # # # # # # #

_This is Miles City_ , Winnie informed her crew who were watching as Wittleston dropped his copter onto an empty parking pad, retrieved a briefcase from the copter, and began walking west.

_It's hard to see anything in the dark_ , Arthur complained. _What time is it anyway? I was in Heaven_.

_Almost 1:30 am_ , Winnie messaged.

_We have a sliver of moon coming up now. I'll sit on his head and I might be able to see what's in his brief case when he opens it._

Obviously, a comment from Paula. From now on, I'll just record what Winnie's crew messaged to each other. It doesn't matter who said what.

_He's stopping. Can we get a street address?_

_Hang on. .... 742 Palmer Street._

_He's putting his briefcase down next to the copter parked in front of the house. Kneeling down now. Opening his briefcase. Taking something out. Putting it into the door lock. He's opening the copter door._

_His briefcase had a key to that particular copter?_

_It had to be a master key. This is something that copter sales companies would have._

_He just stole that copter!_

_We'll follow._

### # # # # # # # #

_He's putting down now. How far out of town are we?_

_Four or five miles north. It'll be desolate prairie land here._

_I wish I could see better. Is he writing something in a notebook?_

_Yes. I can see the rough shape of the notebook, but not what he's writing. Do devils have excellent night vision when they're in mortal form?_

_Looks like it. He's gotta be writing down where he parked the copter. I saw him looking around._

_It feels like a dry creek bed. The copter will be out of sight._

_He's locking it up again. Whoa. I wasn't expecting that._

_He disappeared. I can't see him._

_He changed form to his devil body with its black scales. That's why you can't see him. I'm still sitting on him. Lock onto to me. He's running and covering a lot of ground._

_I'm putting a drone on that stolen copter. I'll catch up._

_He's going back to his copter, I bet._

_No bet._

_I'm here with you now._

### # # # # # # # #

_Where are we now?_

_Bozeman._

_Isn't that west of Billings?_

_Yes._

_He has covered a lot of territory._

_He landed and is walking in mortal form. Stopping now. Opening his brief case._

_There's no copter to steal here._

_He's checking the notebook. He must have liked what he saw. He's walking up to the front door._

_What's the street address?_

_I have it._

_Oh my goodness._

_Paula?_

_He just changed into devil form and walked through the door. I wasn't expecting that. I'm still on his head._

_What's he doing?_

_Walking around the living room. Picking things up and putting them down again. He's not making any attempt to be silent. Wait. Somebody heard him. Sounds like a woman. She's telling her husband that somebody is in the house. I can hear the click of a shotgun. So can Wittleston. He's leaving the same way he came in. Trotting back to his copter now._

_Paula, can you put some drones into the house?_

_Yes, but I'll have to wait for them to go back to sleep. You'll have to track Wittleston._

_We can do that with the drone in his copter. Put a drone into the master bedroom, kitchen and living room. Audio only. Catch up to us when you can._

### # # # # # # # #

_Where are we now?_

_Great Falls. That's a long way north of Bozeman._

_Almost dawn._

_He's putting his copter down again._

_Again with the briefcase and the notebook. I'm on his head. I can almost read it._

_Walking, walking, walking. Another robbery?_

_Doesn't look like it. He's stopped and ignored the copter parked in front of the house. He's checking the street address with his notebook._

_Arthur? Do you have the address?_

_Hang on.... 726 25th Street North._

_He's back to devil form. I'm inside with him. No noise this time. He's tiptoeing through the living room... now the hallway.... I can see a bathroom at the end of the hallway with its door open. I see three closed doors. They have to be bedrooms. Oh, this is different. He just stuck his head through one of the doors. I can see a night light. It's a baby's room. I can see a crib. Back in the hallway again. Coming up to the next bedroom door. Again with the head through the door. Now he's going in. No night light. Now he's in mortal form. A little light from an electronic device is giving me some vision. He's creeping up to the bed. Kneeling down. It's a single bed. Full size, not a toddler bed. Boy? Can't tell for sure. He's lying on his left side. Sound asleep. I can hear deep breathing. Oh, Yuck. He just put his tongue into the boy's ear. It's not a boy. It's a girl. She's screaming. Now he's turning her head towards him. He has his hands on each cheek. He's kissing her full on her lips and she's struggling. She's screeching. I hear noises from the next bedroom. Parents are waking up. He's back to devil form and.... we're out of the house._

_Lillian, are you listening in?_

_Part of me is, Winnie._

_I need a memory wipe and I need it now._

_Sir Galahad is on his way._

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 25

"You're sure that Corah won't remember a thing from last night?" Winnie wanted to verify what Sir Galahad had just said. Winnie had pulled an all-nighter after Wittleston's attack, determined to prevent him from attacking anybody else before they could put him back in Hell and mete out Maddy's justice. Winnie and Sir Galahad were meeting together with Arthur, Paula, and Meghan on the deck of the Wilizy sailing ship in Heaven's skies. Bright sunlight was a good cure for a stressed out angel. Corah was the name of the young girl that Wittleston had attacked.

Sir Galahad tried to reassure. "You acted quickly and that helped a lot. All I needed to do was erase three minutes of her sleep and those memories were all in one spot. She'll be fine."

"You could do that with her mom sleeping right next to her?" Paula asked

"Yes. Corah will wake up in about an hour and won't remember a thing."

"We have some drones to listen to soon, but first I have some information on Wittleston. I hacked into purgatory.net and managed to find his devilian file. It's doesn't tell us much. His devilian name is _Wytlss_ which, with vowels, translates to _Witless"_

"Obviously, his superior didn't think much of him," Meghan commented.

Paula noticed something too. "I've been pronouncing his mortal name Wittleston with the emphasis on the first part of his name. As in _Whittle..., stun_. But it can also be pronounced _Witless..... ton_

"His superior gave him both names." Arthur with the conclusion.

Winnie continued. "He has been assigned to Montana for over twenty years. In all that time, he's never had a promotion or an assignment to another location. I don't know if that means anything or not."

"Do you want me to look into this?" Meghan asked.

"Please. The computer file is useless. I need gossip from Hell. Why is he still in Montana?"

"I have a guy in Personnel. Shall I go now?"

"Hang on. You should know what we're doing first. Obviously, Witless is active now after being away from work. We can't let him attack any more girls."

"If we knew the reason why...." Paula started.

"That will come soon. But, even if we know why, we can't let him get anywhere near a bedroom again. How do we stop him without revealing to him that we're watching?"

...

"Dogs," Arthur said.

"Dogs?" Meghan repeated.

"Dogs can smell a devil. Dogs can wake up everybody in the neighbourhood with their barking. I can do a Nova Scotia Duck Toller."

"If we have two of us trailing him whenever he leaves Billings, one of us could become a dog that notices him walking down the street. He always walks as he approaches a house." Paula with the quick plan.

Winnie had an improvement. "Let's stay with the three of us always following him. That way one of us can duck out and set up drones. Another person can assume the body of a dog and start barking. It has to be a different dog each town."

"Dog bodies take some planning. I can do the Duck Toller, but that's the only one in my memory."

"I can help," Galahad interjected. "I can give myself any number of dog bodies and will automatically guard the town that he's approaching. As soon as he leaves, I can catch up to you instantaneously. This way, you can focus on your drones."

"Can you get leave?" Winnie asked

"Sure."

"Welcome to the team," Winnie welcomed.

_[I assume that Lillian wants you to be here.]_

_[Yes, My Queen.]_

_[Are you going to tell me why?]_

_[No, My Queen. That could change the future. You'll figure it out.]_

"Next, the drones. We have three drones to attend to. Paula, would you listen in on the drones we put in the home that had their copter stolen? Also, set up outside Miles City near the copter that Witless stole. Somebody is going to collect that copter. Let's get video evidence of that. Follow that copter wherever it goes. You may have to wait a day or two before somebody shows up. I'm guessing it will be collected the day after tomorrow."

"Because?" Arthur asked.

"Because today is Thursday. Arthur, you get the drone in Bozeman. We want hints on why Witless wanted that family to hear somebody roaming around in their house. I'll take Great Falls and Corah's family. Again, we need to know what Witless expected to accomplish."

"Anything for me?" Meghan asked.

"Not on Earth. Not yet, anyway. Find out as much as you can about Witless. Everybody, let me know when you're ready to meet again."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 26

Friday: The Wilizy were meeting in the Wilizy/America. William and Wolf were playing baseball in the hold with Maddy. Her parents were upstairs in the living room. TG and Dreamer were there too. TG didn't have anything positive to report. "I found no cameras in the girls' showers in Castle Rock."

Melissa was the first to respond. "But everything points to Jim Dandy taking pictures of young girls showering. That Chinese girl saw an actual picture. This doesn't make sense!"

"I agree, but I did every test that I could think of. I didn't find any cameras."

Cowboy changed the subject: "Where are we on finding what the numbered company is selling, Dreamer?"

"I've looked through all the data that we collected on #345666 and I found only one good lead. Cowboy, you bought whatever it is that they are selling."

"I did?"

"Either you did or Bean did."

"I don't remember buying anything unusual," Bean responded. "Do you have any idea how much we spent?"

"No. Those data are still hidden.

"It has to be food," Dreamer concluded. "That's where most of our available money goes."

"But, you and I buy groceries at different stores, Bean. Dandy's company is a monopoly of some kind. It can't be food.

"Dreamer, how do you know that we've bought from #345666?

"The data are organized by city and by street address. Your address is 999 Calico. There's a check mark on your address. I don't know how much you spent, but Jim Dandy knows."

Cowboy shook his head in denial. "We live very frugally. We eat dinners out thanks to my job. We don't buy new clothes; we buy used. We have no health costs. Our copters are provided to us free by our employers."

"Why so frugal, Bean?" Melissa asked.

"We want to live permanently in Billings so we're saving up to buy our own house. Once we have our own home, we'll start a family. Cowboy agreed that we should wait until then. We love it here."

"Apart from Jim Dandy," Cowboy added unnecessarily.

"Buying your own home means you're renting now," Melissa pursued. "Who's your landlord?"

"As Chief of Police, the city gives me free rent. We've assumed that the city owned the house."

"If that's true, and I expect it is, then the city paid some money to #345666. How do we find out what they've paid? Is #345666 selling mortgages on homes in Billings?

Cowboy had the quick answer on that. "They'd need a banking license and those would not be given to a numbered company."

TG had an idea. "Cowboy, do you have a pay stub. That would show what money they're taking off your pay."

"I guess I do. I never look at it. Both of our salaries are deposited directly into our bank accounts."

Yollie liked where this was heading. "Could you find one?"

"It'll take some time. Should we take a break?"

TG was fine with that. "I'll be down in the hold playing baseball if you need me. William has the batting cage working now. Maddy's record is ten hits in a row, Wolf is at eight. I'm stuck on two. I need to spend more time in the cage."

### # # # # # # # #

"Home insurance?" Melissa asked. "Really?"

"Yes," Cowboy answered. "It's a fairly sizeable amount and there's nothing else on that pay stub that it can be, unless Dandy is collecting taxes."

"That's why the payment is being recorded against the street address," Dreamer confirmed. "He doesn't need to know the name of the owner, just the fact that the house is insured."

"It'll be easy to check," TG suggested. "Are other insurance companies operating in Montana?"

"There should be lots of companies. Back when I was in Helena, we had an insurance sales agent. He sold insurance from several companies. The customers got to choose which company they liked best."

"Get the men up here, we all have some research to do," Melissa took charge. Maddy stayed down in the hold willingly. More time in the batting cage meant she'd stay ahead of the men.

"Christmas holidays are coming up," Yollie interrupted. "The cadets are off to South America this time. I'm not suggesting...."

"We need to give Maddy a holiday, but we also need to pursue this quickly. I say Jim Dandy collects pictures of naked school girls!" Mac had been silent up to now, but she was putting her foot down.

"Why don't we all take a vacation in Mexico at the place where Stook and Sheila honeymooned," Dreamer suggested. "We could still meet and plan."

"I could do Mexico," Bean approved. "Cowboy can translate when we're not working. What do you think, Melissa?"

...

"Melissa?"

"Inviting Stook and Sheila would be a very good idea."

"Are you in your planning zone?"

"Yes, I am. People, we need to be certain that Dandy is getting all of his surplus money off a numbered company that sells insurance. Find the owners of the insurance companies that used to be in Montana. Some of them will still be here."

"Insurance companies would have paid taxes. The business owners would be identified along with their town and local address," Dreamer offered.

"I can show TG where the tax records would be filed in the city's computer," Cowboy offered. "I don't have authorization to see them though."

"I can get in. I'll make lists."

"I'll organize the search assignments," Mac offered. "I'll also have Maddy tell Winnie what we've discovered. I think they still talk regularly."

"I'll speak to Stook about meeting in Mexico," Cowboy volunteered. "What dates?"

"December 22 to December 28 leaves us January to finalize the plan," Melissa suggested. "But, the dates will be up to Stook. He'll have some guests to invite and they have to be available too."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 27

It's Sunday and we're back in Heaven on the deck of the Wilizy ship. Everybody had two full days to complete their research assignments and were ready to report. Winnie began the meeting.

"Before we hear all the reports, Melissa's group has found out how Jim Dandy was able to sell his copters below cost. He has a monopoly on selling insurance and that is very lucrative. They are looking into that, which means that we don't have to. Melissa passed the news to me via Maddy."

"Are you going to attend their meetings now?" Paula asked.

"I think I should. Melissa has a plan percolating in her brain, so I'll make sure that whatever we do won't interfere with her plan. They're taking a break around Christmas time and will be leaving town. Maddy doesn't know where yet, they're keeping it a secret from her. Meghan, you're up. What did you discover about Witless."

"It's all gossip, but I believe it's accurate. Witless received his name because he was, essentially, witless. Think of the phrase _dumb as a stump_ and that stump is Witless. He managed to get out of the torture pits because he was too dumb to realize he was being tortured. He worked his way up the shoulder demon ranks by attaching himself to a higher rank demon and being his toady."

"What's a toady?" Arthur asked.

"A toady sucks up to an influential person and serves as his gofer."

"What's a gofer?" Arthur continued to have difficulties with slang expressions.

Meghan tried again. "It's a person who does errands for his boss that are meaningless and demeaning. Witless might be told to _go for coffee, cream, no sugar._ Or, his duties might be: _wash my copter, clean the office toilets, get me a beer, sit on this tack for me._ Witless would be a butt of inside jokes but he would think that his boss liked him because he laughed a lot when he was around. Somehow, Witless managed to make his way to apprentice devil, which is where he still is. He was assigned to Billings because he wasn't likely to foul anything up, given that Billings is basically a dead zone for any devil trying to make a name for himself. As other devils in Montana crashed and burned, Witless remained employed at the apprentice devil level. Nobody in Hell checks on him because Montana is essentially law abiding and they don't expect him to be effective."

"He has responsibility for the entire state?" Paula asked.

"Yes."

"But surely his lack of torture would eventually catch up to him. Don't devils have a quota of some kind?"

"Yes Winnie, they do. But Witless has been meeting that quota."

"He suddenly became smart?" Arthur asked.

"No, that's impossible. His tortures increased at about the same time that Jim Dandy became a successful businessman. The uptick in his success at that same time is too striking to be coincidental. It's not noticeable in Hell, but we know enough here about Jim Dandy to see the connection."

"Witless is Jim Dandy's toady?" Galahad spoke for the first time.

"Yes, I can't prove it, but that fits into Witless' behaviour pattern. Winnie, have we established any direct communication link between the two of them?"

"No, Meghan. Not yet. If they are communicating, that means that Witless has revealed the secret of Hell's existence to a mortal."

"That'll mean death if Hell discovers that." Galahad again.

"Witless is too stupid to realize that," Meghan ended her report. Or, at least she thought that she had ended the report.

"Something doesn't make sense," Paula said. "If Witless is so stupid, how could he perform his duties as a prosecutor? Surely that requires some brainpower and his mortal body wouldn't have that brainpower."

"Good question," Arthur reacted.

"Yes, it is," Winnie agreed. She looked at Galahad, but he was too busy examining the nearest cloud to notice. "Cowboy will know how he can get away with that. I'll contact him now. Back in a few minutes."

### # # # # # # # #

Winnie was back. "I asked Cowboy about Wittleston's track record as a prosecutor. Cowboy said that he had no track record. He had never taken a case to a judge. Something was always wrong with the evidence, or the manner in which a sheriff had conducted the investigation, or the law's lack of applicability in a case. He was constantly on the sheriffs to improve law and order in their towns, but he wouldn't take any of their cases to court. The consensus among the sheriffs was that he had eyes on a higher political position and didn't want to have a losing court record when he eventually took the plunge. Governorship, perhaps. According to Cowboy, that would be impossible. The current governor, Frank Emerson, was well regarded and nobody liked Wittleston because he was so pretentious. The sheriffs used local jurisdiction to handle any problems that they had. That was usually enough. Comments?"

...

"Moving on then. Does anybody have any ideas on how we can find a communication link between Witless and Dandy? We have drones everywhere they spend their time."

Nobody had any ideas. Galahad was examining his favorite cloud when Winnie looked at him.

### # # # # # # # #

It was now time for Paula to give her report on the stolen copter in Miles City.

"Winnie, Andy Dandy went directly to the hidden copter in that dry creek bed Saturday morning, like you predicted. How'd you know?"

"Dandy is involving his kids in his business. Andy is the oldest and the most likely person to be collecting stolen copters. He goes to school and wasn't available until Saturday. What happened?"

"One of the sisters flew him directly to the creek bed and then left. He came with a small tool kit that contained a master key that opened up the copter door and engine compartment. He had the tools to replace the copter ID in the storage compartment. He dug a hole in the prairie and buried the original ID. After that, he flew directly back to the Dandy Copter's storage lot where he placed the copter in a building called the Paint Shop which was closed and locked for the weekend. He unlocked the door, pushed the copter inside and closed the door. He examined the copter's exterior closely, as well as the rotor housing, which he cleaned. Then, he repainted the exterior with a darker shade of blue than it had been before. That took until noon. While the paint was drying, he washed and cleaned the interior and the tires. That copter was sitting in the lot holding _Jim Dandy's New 2093 Copter_ s by the end of the day."

"Why am I not surprised?" Winnie asked nobody in particular. "What about the family who had owned the copter?"

"They were quite upset with the theft. They had no trust that their sheriff would be able to recover the copter. The town has had a lot of vandalism and the sheriff didn't seem capable of finding the people who were doing this. First, they had graffiti on the back doors of their business. The next month, the front window was broken and thieves took some valuable equipment. The insurance company paid for both incidents but warned them that their premium costs would be going up starting in 2093. Now the copter has been stolen and it's absolutely essential to them for picking up shipments, and making deliveries. They can't afford to buy a new one because profit margins have been small and customers have been leaving them. They may try and buy a copter from Jim Dandy on credit."

"What's their business?" Meghan asked.

"It's a small city so they have a combination of businesses, but they get most of their sales off hardware."

"Hardware?" Arthur asked.

"Hardware?" Winnie asked at the same time

"Yes," Paula answered. "You seem surprised. Hardware can be a good steady business when a city is growing."

Arthur was the first to respond. "The people in Bozeman have a hardware business too. They had graffiti and broken windows too. Now they're afraid that crime in Bozeman is out of control. They're sure that somebody had broken into their house and was prowling around. They're thinking of moving to a safer city. Plus, the Fortuna family in Surrey was in hardware and left suddenly."

Winnie chimed in. "They shouldn't consider moving to Great Falls. Corah's family has a hardware business there and they've had similar problems that are getting worse. Last month, they received an online offer to sell their business to another hardware company. They turned the offer down because their business had been grossly undervalued. Now they're thinking of taking the offer and leaving Montana. They are not going to live in a city where people can sneak into their house and walk into their daughter's bedroom. The Great Falls sheriff looked at the house and found no signs of forced entry. Their daughter must have been dreaming. But Corah's mom and dad weren't dreaming when they heard that screech."

Meghan voiced the conclusion that all were thinking. "We've just found Jim Dandy's new business line. Once his toady scares off all the other hardware merchants in Montana, he'll have another monopoly."

Winnie identified their top priority. "Witless had instructions on what to do and where to go in his notebook. Somehow, Jim Dandy is communicating with him. We have to find out how he's doing that."

"How are you planning to do that, Winnie?" Galahad had the question as well as a gaze straight into her eyes.

"I'll get back to you on that. First, I need to know more about baseball. The sport, not the kissing game. _[Arthur had suddenly developed a mischievous grin on his face.]_ Who knows something about this sport?"

"I've played with Willie Mays," Galahad admitted.

"Who's he?"

"One of the greatest baseball players of all time. You don't know anything at all about baseball, do you?"

"I spread my ignorance of sports around. I don't know hardly anything about any sport."

"Heaven has an active baseball league that brings famous players with their skills still intact together with ordinary angels. Everybody can fly so the game is somewhat different. I'll tell you about baseball, but first, tell me why you want to know."

"I have an assignment for Maddy, but first I have to be able to speak her language."

### # # # # # # # #

Winnie was in the hold of the Wilizy/America ship, more commonly known now as the _batting cage ship_. Maddy had been crushing balls against the side of the ship so often that William had to put up some netting to protect the ship. Next on the to-do list was adding a curve ball to the batting machine's repertoire. Maddy wasn't practicing now. She had become nauseous and was sitting down as Winnie finished her report on what Witless had done to Corah.

"How old is she?"

"We don't have that information yet. Perhaps 8 years old."

"Did he grope her?"

"No, but he could have."

"I'm going to kill him."

"Yes, you are, but not yet. We have a larger operation to compete and we're not ready for him to die."

"Why didn't you stop him?"

"We didn't know what he was planning to do. In another house that he entered, he only wandered around making noises. We fixed it so that Corah has no memory of the event. That's all we could do right then."

"Heaven can do that?"

"Yes, in extreme circumstances."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Our battle against Hell is like a baseball game."

Maddy had a 'yeah, right' look on her face. Winnie persevered through the teenager scorn stare.

"Sometimes Heaven will go on offense, as we will when the time is right to take Witless out of the game. Sometimes, we have to play defense. A good defense wins games."

"Coach Lee said that too."

"You're up by one run. You're home. It's the top of the 9th. You're the pitcher. What do you do?"

"We only go to seven innings."

"Same question."

"We will win if I strike them all out."

"Right. It's not our turn to bat yet. I need you to pitch a scoreless inning."

"We're not talking baseball now, right?"

"No, but it's the same idea. Witless and Jim Dandy are about to win a game against a very nice family with two children. They are trying to scare them into defaulting the game and walking away. Witless and Jim Dandy are attacking their children to get what they want."

"What do they want?"

"They want the parents' hardware store business. If the parents can stay in the game a little longer, the ref will make sure that Jim Dandy and Witless are thrown out of the game."

"Baseball has umps."

"Same thing. Heaven plus your moms and dads will win this game. But we don't want innocent families to be hurt. We need some time."

"I get it. You want me to stall. I could take a bunch of warm-up pitches."

_[Galahad's explanation of how baseball was played had not covered bringing in a reliever.]_

"Sort of. I want Fanny Fandigity to visit Corah's family and try to get them to talk about the difficulties they've been having with their hardware store. That's part of your Fanny cover. Listen to them. They'll feel better telling you. Tell them you're going to expose what's happening with the hardware store businesses in Montana. Try and persuade them to stay. If they're still uncertain, you can disclose the fact that you are an undercover agent working for the Billings Police Department and show them your badge."

"What if they're too scared?"

"Tell them that the media chain that you work for will place armed guards around their store and their home for the next couple of weeks. After that, they won't have any more scary problems."

"Do we have armed guards?"

"Sort of. The family will be safe. You can't be aggressive on this, Maddy. You're not preparing for a physical battle. You need to be understanding and sympathetic. These are new skills for you. Learning how to do this will help you."

"When do I start?"

"Are you still doing school work in the mornings?"

"No. I'm on Christmas break. Mac is arranging a holiday for me."

"Do you know where you're going yet?"

"I could find out but I don't like to snoop."

_[So many things to teach you, so little time.]_

### # # # # # # # #

"How'd she do, Arthur?"

The _she_ in this case was Maddy. Winnie was the one asking the question. They were relaxing in Heaven. Relaxing in this case meant lying in adjoining hammocks but holding hands while they talked.

"Remarkably well. I was impressed."

"Did you have to encourage the parents to listen or agree to stay in business?"

"No. The badge did the trick. It also helped that Corah was showing no signs of trauma. How'd you get onto that memory wipe so quickly?"

"I dunno. I guess because I've had traumatic encounters that really shook me. I got through them with help from my family but Corah wouldn't get the help she needed."

"Well, you sure nailed it."

_[Lillian, did I nail it, or did you influence me?]_

_[That was all you.]_

_[Truth ray on?]_

_[Truth ray on.]_

_[I'm getting used to you constantly watching me. I'm not sure that's a good thing.]_

_[Only part of me is watching you. I do have other things to do.]_

_[I'm going to kiss Arthur when we get out of these hammocks.]_

_[I'll turn my back.]_

_[Why don't you leave? We haven't kissed for a long time. An old fogey like you might be shocked.]_

_[Well, since you asked so nicely...]_

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 28

It's the next day. Meghan is briefing Lillian, Joe-Joe and Keely.

"I found out something when I was in Hell researching for Winnie. It had nothing to do with her operation, so I didn't say anything about it to her, but you probably would want to know this."

"Nice lead in. You have our attention," Keely said.

"My spies say that Satan is shutting down a lot of torture pits. I couldn't get a list as there's too many of them, but my sense is that these are torture pits that are on the soft side."

"What do you mean by that?"

"They're closing pits that are designed more for devilian entertainment value than for hard torture."

"Do you have an example?" Joe-Joe asked.

"They had a ballroom dancing pit that was combined with a fondue kind of torture. It was intended for competitive dancers who cheated. Very few souls had to be in that pit, so they opened it up to other souls and it became an entertainment pit."

"Satan didn't like pits that entertain his devils?"

"Pits take up a lot of space and need supervisors who are generally recently paroled souls. There's maintenance and labor costs too. The ballroom dancing pit had been out of order for a long time. Satan has decreed that all pits have to provide hard torture for ten years. If they don't, they will be shut down. This means, there'll be no more easy tortures. It also means that he is eliminating all the time and costs of developing new torture pits every few years."

"What's he doing with the souls who were supervising those pits?" Keely asked.

"They're now mining souls."

"Aha!" Joe-Joe exclaimed. "He's lowering costs and transferring souls into the more profitable mining industry that he's creating. What about the devils in the Torture Pit Directorate?"

"Many of them are unassigned right now."

"He can't let that last that for long."

"Devils are getting worried. With Satan's focus more on hard torture now, some of them will not be good at that. There are rumours of a big change coming, as if these changes haven't been sufficient," Meghan added.

"Meghan, when you're not helping with Winnie's operation, keep in touch with your spies. Everybody, any bets on what Satan will do?"

"Mass deaths," Joe-Joe voted.

"I'm with Joe-Joe on that," Keely voted.

"Whatever it is, it'll be unexpected," Meghan voted. "This Satan isn't following their old play book."

### # # # # # # # #

We're back to Las Vegas now. Melissa had sent her team into the field to search for previous insurance companies and their owners. It's time for them to report. The usual people are in the living room. Maddy and Winnie have joined them as well.

"How many insurance companies did you find?" That seemed like a good question to start with. Melissa figured that six discoveries would give them a good sample.

"None," Mac said.

"None for me too, Yollie admitted.

"I found two companies but the owners wouldn't talk to me," TG added some more cold water.

"None," Wolf announced.

"The tax records weren't helpful at all," Bean explained. "Dandy's monopolization of the insurance industry occurred too long ago. I had no leads to pursue."

"I found one couple living in New Mexico. They saw my badge and listened to my first few words and slammed the door in my face."

"My two were in Arizona," TG added.

"Three contacts and none would talk. That's discouraging," Melissa admitted.

_[Winnie, will you tell them about the hardware stores. He could have done the same thing to the insurance owners.]_

_[He probably did something similar. How are you planning to explain how we followed a devil around the state?]_

_[Oh.]_

_[Nice idea though. Do you think Fanny would have more success?]_

_[Anything would be more successful.]_

"TG and Cowboy, could you give me the names and locations of the owners you found?"

"Sure, Winnie. Is Molly Moonblossom going to make an appearance?"

"No. I'm too busy trying to catch the kidnapper. My colleague has more time."

"That's the one with the crazy name?"

"Yah. Fanny Fandigity. Let's see what Fanny can do with the insurance people you found."

### # # # # # # # #

"Your cover as a media star writing an exposé should get you in the door but you need to get them talking. Don't record the conversation. Jim Dandy did something terrible to them. It was enough to push them right out of the state. They're scared. You should promise not to write anything in your exposé that would give a reader a hint of what happened. Try to sit next to the business owner. If necessary, place your hand on his arm. You understand how troubled he is. If he tells you the bare outline of what happened, you can stop what happened to his wife from happening to other women."

"His wife"

"Yes. Has to be. That's Dandy's pattern. Go after the women. Don't show the badge. Having to tell his story in a courtroom would clam him up. Dress in soft colors and clothes. Don't wear clothes that would give a hint of a police presence. Don't dress in a risqué outfit. You are a deeply concerned reporter trying to prevent more attacks on women."

"OK."

"If I learn their secrets, can I give the report to my moms?"

"Perhaps. You'll have to give yourself mannerisms that don't remind them of Maddy's mannerisms."

"Mannerisms?"

"Mannerisms like twirling you hair. That's very teenagerish. Don't roll your eyes when you disagree with something. Make your body a little older. That will change your voice a bit. You can practice the report in front of me. If you don't look and act like an older Maddy, you can come as Fanny. You can wear make-up if you want."

_[Arthur, you may have to help the men loosen up.]_

_[I think you're underestimating her. I'm just curious. How will Fanny find an invisible sailing ship and levitate up to it?]_

_[ACK!]_

### # # # # # # # #

"I'm so happy to meet you all. Winnie has told me absolutely nothing about her family, so you look exactly like I didn't think you would be. _[Winnie told her to start with a joke. Maddy made that one up. You probably figured that out already.]_ She has warned me that you might ask a few prying questions about where we work. Just so you know, we are well trained to protect the security of our company. I can give you this clue. Our offices are not in Helena."

_[This was Winnie's joke. You may now conclude safely that neither of them has an instinctive sense of humour, although Winnie does like puns but they don't count as humour. She also had warned Maddy about adlibbing or straying from her speech._

_'Don't let them pry anything out of you about your life history, how you found this job, what the job is, or where you work. Yollie can be quite sneaky that way.'_

_Do I see a pot and a kettle here?]_

Winnie chose Helena for the meeting because Maddy wanted to visit Meifeng that evening, after the restaurant closed, which is where they were holding their meeting. Main point: Fanny could get to Helena. Nobody from Helena was in the restaurant since it was too early for the evening rush. Winnie had explained that she wanted to meet in the restaurant because Meifeng had lost her father and they still didn't know how that happened. They owed Meifeng a different life than what she was going to have now. Being in the restaurant and seeing the young girl might provoke some ground-breaking revelations.

Here's Fanny's presentation.

"I was able to get information from all three of the contacts that Winnie gave me. Each of them had slightly different experiences, but they were close enough in broad terms to give me confidence that they were telling the truth. The differences don't matter. Here's what happened to them."

"All three men owned their own insurance company and it was based in Montana. I didn't ask for details. Some years back, all three businesses started to encounter increased insurance claims due to increased crimes in the town where they lived. It started with simple vandalism. Graffiti and window breakage in the downtown center. All three companies paid the claims, of course. The sheriffs in their towns had no idea who was behind this. They suspected teenage boys but they didn't have any rowdy kids in town. They said that they'd try to keep an eye on the local businesses, but they didn't have the manpower to do that."

"The vandalism spread to the residences. Copter thefts mostly. These were large claims because the copters were mostly new and thus the payments had to reflect that. All three insurance businesses had been successful for years. But profits started to fade. The vandalism didn't stop. It spread to the town facilities as well. At least one major building in the community was destroyed by fire. These were a community center, the police station, and a health centre. For each of them, the costs of paying one of those claims drove them close to bankruptcy. They didn't want to leave the town. They had been born there, raised a family there, and wanted to stay."

"After the news of the fires died down, all three of them had a very disturbing experience, one that they didn't want to share with me. I told them that the people behind this hadn't stopped. They needed to be caught. The men would only share their story if I promised that their wives would never learn that they had broken their oath of silence."

"Each of them had received a letter addressed to the wife. In it, the wife found a nude picture of herself. The face in the picture was clearly hers. The reason for her nakedness varied. One wife was dressing. Another was coming out of the shower. The third was involved in an amorous encounter with her husband. A computer printed note in the envelope said: _We have more pictures. We will contact you with directions on how you can purchase the pictures. If you don't pay, we will spread the pictures around town. If you tell anybody about this, we will spread the pictures around town."_

"All three wives were horrified. One was a middle aged woman; two were close to their 60s. Their bodies were not in the best of shape, shall we say. All three families packed up their belonging the next day, put a sign on the insurance company's door that the company was broke, and fled. They don't know if the pictures were published or not because they have had no contact with anybody from their town since. They live with their children in another state. The children only know their dad's business went bankrupt. Both of them have taken menial jobs so that they won't be a drain on their children."

A long silence ensued.

Finally, Cowboy spoke. "Did any of the three keep the picture?"

"No."

"Did you ask about the picture? Not the content, but the surroundings."

"I tried. What little I learned can be summarized as follows: the pictures were not printed on picture paper; the picture was dark and grainy; the surroundings showed a bedroom which they acknowledged was their bedroom."

"Somebody got a camera into those bedrooms," Bean concluded.

Cowboy continued the thought. "As you know, Bean and I interviewed the Fortuna family about why they left Billings. I've seen some disturbing similarities with what the insurance company owners endured and what Meifeng experienced. A grainy picture; printed on thin paper; a bathroom shot, but I have no idea whatsoever on how the picture was taken from inside the house."

Bean took over. "The Fortuna family left Billings suddenly and the father dodged our question of why they did that. Mrs. Fortuna refused to appear in front of us while her husband described the events. Meifeng had been the target. Other than the bullying that Tony received, the Fortuna family had no reason to move so far away. I would bet you that Mrs. Fortuna received a naked picture of herself along with a ransom demand."

Winnie added this comment to the conversation. "Fanny and I have been following some leads that are leading us to suspect that Jim Dandy is building another business monopoly but in hardware stores this time. We've seen some similarities in how he is doing that in hardware with how he established a monopoly in insurance companies."

"Winnie, are you close to finishing your case against the kidnapper?"

"I am now, with what Fanny has found. What about you, Melissa?"

"I know how to take Jim Dandy down. I don't have all the pieces in place yet. What's your timing?"

"I'll be able to act in January. You?"

"Probably February. I can use your help, Winnie. I need some sneaky ideas."

"Sneakiness is my middle name."

Cowboy sneaked himself into the conversation. "Here's something disturbing for all of us to chew on. We knew that Jim Dandy was running for the Billings School Board. He was elected this week. The Board met yesterday. Jim Dandy is now the chairman of the School Board. This will give him access to children."

"Can you accelerate your plan, Melissa?"

"No, Yollie. This actually will help us."

"Care to share?" TG asked.

"Shall we order dinner?" Melissa responded.

"I have to leave now," Fanny said. "It was nice meeting y'all."

...

"Was that a southern accent I heard?" Yollie asked. "That sounded like a different person."

"Don't look at me," Winnie said. "Security in our company is intense. I know as much about her as she knows about me."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 29

"Galahad, are you here somewhere?" Winnie was standing on a rock about one foot away from the surging Yellowstone River as it cascaded down the Upper Falls near Billings. The water was green and almost luminescent. No, she had not hiked up the trail to this vantage point. She had been there for a while though.

"I'm behind you, My Queen. Were you thinking of throwing yourself off that rock?"

"No. Why would I do that?"

"You tell me."

"Because I messed up."

"Really?"

"Boots on the ground, Galahad. I forgot about that."

"Where did you hear about boots on the ground?"

"My dad, I think. Perhaps General Jock. One of them told me that back in historical times, countries like the US relied too much on satellite pictures. They also needed to have men and women in the field. Boots on the ground. I missed that."

"Yes, you did."

"I depend too much on my drones."

"Yes, you do."

"I should have ordered physical searches of homes and offices."

"Yes, you should have. Not all secrets can be uncovered by listening to people disclosing those secrets. Illicit searches are not banned by Heavenly Protocols."

"I'm not skilled in breaking and entering. I can put the drones in, but I don't feel right pawing through dresser drawers."

"That's why Lillian gave you access to all the Heavenly resources that you might need."

"Armed forces if necessary?"

"Certainly, within limits."

"And access to you?"

"Yes, I should be your first call. Did you figure out how those pictures were taken of the insurance women?"

"Hell's hornocratic cameras."

"What about Castle Rock's girls' locker room? You know that cameras have to be there but TG couldn't find them. Therefore...?"

"He can't find hornocratic cameras?"

"To be fair, he was up against unusual hornocratic cameras."

"I feel stupid. I didn't think outside the box. Normally I do."

"You're right. Dandy did to you what you usually do to others. Some evil people are very creative. They're not all dumb."

"Got it. Should I have used Maddy earlier? She was way more skilled in pulling out information than I had expected."

"No. The timing for her was good. The other operatives that you used had all the skill sets you needed."

"Did anybody die because I messed up?"

"No. Your discovery of the truth about Witless and Jim Dandy was guaranteed once Witless came back to Earth and you assigned your team to follow him. You lost a little time when you knew intuitively what was happening but couldn't solve the final part of the puzzle. But, nobody died because of that."

"Let's complete the final part of the puzzle, Galahad. Are you ready for a field trip to Castle Rock Middle School?"

"May I suggest that we wait until dark? Are you finished staring at the water and beating yourself up?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever gone tobogganing down a water fall?"

"With one of those historic toboggans?"

"No, with an angelic force field protection suit. It'll save you from getting wet and from bouncing off rocks."

"How do I get one?"

"You already have it on."

"You gave me one already?"

"In case you slipped on the wet rock you were standing on."

"What do I do?"

"Jump off the rock. Go first and keep your eyes open. It's much more fun that way. I'll be right behind you, My Queen."

### # # # # # # # #

"Winnie, a shower cam is inside each of the shower handles in this locker room. Witless would have been able to install them and collect pictures by turning off the water to the locker room and opening each handle up with a monkey wrench. This would take less than twenty minutes total. The shower cam was a planned upgrade to Hell's normal hornocratic cameras. It failed badly and was never installed widely. Witless would have had access to as many of these as he wanted because they're just sitting in boxes somewhere in Hell."

"Why'd they fail?"

"The water vapor in the shower corroded all of the internal circuits if a shower cam were operating for any appreciable time. When a camera failed, it was prone to lose its invisibility and fall onto the shower floor. Witless was using a fix that was designed into the camera but never used because it was impractical."

"And that was?"

"It could be operated by a wand's on/off switch. The genius that thought that up didn't realize that this meant that a devil had to be near the shower to turn it on and off, which would be difficult to do when there were people and lots of light in the room."

"Candy could turn it on and off though."

"That's right. If she had the wand in a pocket, she could turn all of the cameras on and then bully Maddy into taking a shower. Witless would return to the shower room at some point later, remove the camera and the tiny little brain in the handle would have image of Maddy without any clothes on and easy to download."

"Did Andy break into Meifeng's bathroom and install a camera? Is that how he got her picture?"

"No. Break-ins are too easy to discover. Witless walked through some walls and installed the camera in her bathroom shower when she wasn't there. He was hiding in her closet and could turn the camera on and off from there. You can see Meifeng had been reaching for the shower handle when Witless turned the camera on. He was doing that for Jim Dandy who wanted to push the family out of Billings. Jim Dandy wanted their restaurant building so he could expand the Fortuna hardware store. He already owned the store on the other side of Fortuna's building. The owner had left a year ago and the building was boarded up. Mei Feng's father was hard to convince because he didn't understand English. He did understand a nude picture of his daughter. Jim Dandy met him in the restaurant one evening and showed the picture to him. He sold it to him in exchange for the restaurant."

"I thought Andy wanted both of the pictures."

"Jim Dandy wanted to hurt Maddy and he wanted to drive Meifeng's family out of Billings. In both cases, he put Witless on the prowl. He used Witless to drive hardware and insurance company people out of town with naked pictures of their wives. Andy became involved after he discovered his father's stash of naked pictures. He asked him for a copy of Meifeng's picture so that he could blackmail her into posing for more naked pictures. Jim Dandy liked Andy's plan and gave him a copy as a reward. This was standard parenting for Jim Dandy. When he was unhappy with Andy, he took his porn away."

"Jim Dandy showed his son how to use pornography as a way to build an empire. What a nice father he is. Did you say that Jim Dandy had a stash of pictures?"

"Yes. In a folder in the vault."

"Both of which Meghan could have opened if I had...."

"Put boots on the ground."

"How did Jim Dandy and Witless communicate? Dandy was telling him what to do, but we couldn't find out how."

"In spy craft, there's something called a _drop box_. It's a hiding place of sorts. Andy would take a small piece of paper holding his dad's instructions to Witless and put the paper in the drop box. Witless would pick the messages up from the drop box and then report back to Jim Dandy via the drop box. Andy would stop by the drop box on the way to school and back. There'd be no evidence whatsoever that the two had ever met."

"If I had trailed Witless, I could have seen what they were doing."

"Eventually. But, drop boxes are hard to detect especially since trailing Jim Dandy would have led you nowhere."

"You know spy craft."

"And you didn't. Now you do. You have enough information to bring Witless and Jim Dandy to justice now."

"How'd you learn so much spy craft?"

"When I was a mortal, my name was Bond. James Bond."

"Seriously?"

"James Bond was a fictional character. If I were James Bond, that would make me a fictional character. You would be a fictional character too."

"Now, that's just crazy talk. No way am I a fictional character. You, on the other hand, are a fictional creature from some place that doesn't exist."

"Did you know that Miss Moneypenny's first name was Winnie?"

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 30

Satan used the Christmas holidays to load up Lucifus' space ship with senior devils. Note: This did not include Inner Pentagram devils who were untouchable. He used a pagan-wide announcement to explain that the home planet's population was diminishing and so they were was looking for immigrants. The most likely place to find more devils was in Hell. In fact, it was the only place. If enough senior devils responded, the space ship would make two or even three trips. Space was limited. Sign up soon.

Senior devils from Hell would receive free accommodation in luxury caves for two years, a generous stipend, free medical care, and fresh water. If you're wondering what the planet Lucifus was like, think of Hell, but bigger. Devils, by their very nature, exist in dark places underground. Lucifus was an uninhabitable planet on its surface, but it's interior was full of large tunnels capable of handling luxury vehicles, and to top it off, they had ample food courts. If you're wondering, McDonald's did have a presence in the planet. Lucifus' devils also had bathrooms and knew how to use them. That alone made Lucifus almost enjoyable to live in. If you were a devil, that is.

Satan explained that senior and mid-management devilettes were encouraged to emigrate to Lucifus where they would be expected to procreate the species.

To ease unvoiced concerns that Lucifus' space ship might not actually have a full complement of passengers when it reached the home planet, Satan announced that the arrival of the emigrants would be treated as a national day of welcome, complete with angel food cake and vanilla ice cream. Yes, Lucifus had both delicacies. After all, Lucifus wasn't at war with Heaven. They even had feather pillows, which made a big difference to the quality of life if you slept in rock caves. _[Yes, Angelion did export its surplus of feathers to Lucifus. In return, they received discarded scales that they painted various colours and used as interior decorating objects d'arte.]_

Pictures of their arrival, the celebration, clips of Hell's devils reacting to their new home, and shots of Lucifus' scenery would be shown in Hell when the space ship returned. Since few of the devils in Hell had even known that there was a home planet, this news created quite the buzz, which is probably hard for my readers to understand when neither Lucifus nor Hell had any bees. Life in the Cosmos is full of mysteries. Deal with it.

Back in Joe-Joe's workshop, the dominant emotion was one of suspicion. Videos of the arrival of the space ship could be faked, but clips of the former senior devils commenting on their welcome celebration would be hard to fake. Keely suspected that only one ship of devils would make it to Hell. Joe-Joe expected failure of the ship's air locks on a second trip, but commented that removing senior devils from Hell would make it less likely that Satan would ever experience another attempt at an insurrection. Lillian said nothing, but did perform her impression of mulled wine, which I hasten to translate as - spending some time mulling the news over. Some puns, by their opaque nature, need to be explained.

### # # # # # # # #

In Montana, Witless was on the prowl. Nothing says Happy Holiday Season like a good old house invasion or an opportunity to molest a child. Funniest thing. Dogs can be a real pain to deal with. One big old ugly mongrel even bit Witless on his ass when he was in mortal form, which meant that he had to sit on a doughnut pad at work and that wasn't working so well. He was pretty sure the bite was infected. Galahad was pretty sure too. He hadn't brushed the dog's teeth for a week.

Jim Dandy was into the last two weeks of his _Year End Copter Blow Out Sale_. This had started off well, but it would be his worst year ever. Somebody had spray painted graffiti on all the new copters on his lot. He didn't know it, but this was a wee giftie from Winnie and Galahad. How's it feel to be on the receiving end, Jimbo?

### # # # # # # # #

For the Wilizy, Christmas holidays on a beach in Mexico were a welcome treat. Of course, the cadets were enjoying Swiss snow plus tours through European cities that had lots of military history. The Valkyries who were still in Kwazulu met the Valkyries who were in Montana in Argentina. Many of them spoke Spanish, and Argentina had the benefit of being a long way from anywhere that they might be recognized. Spirits were high when they arrived. Argentina's supply of spirits was lower when they left. To their credit, nobody became pregnant.

The Wilizy who holidayed in Mexico enjoyed a much more sedate week, in part because of the families that had young kiddies. There were too many for them to all eat in the same restaurant together, so they tended to hang around with Wilizy their own age for meals, but they'd frolic in the waves and sand as one big group.

Some specifics that I should mention.

Mathias and Kashmira decided to have their wedding on the beach in Mexico at dawn on Christmas morning. Doc presided over the ceremony and Hank provided the drums. Mathias and Kashmira weren't seen much after the 25th.

Winnie appeared with her boyfriend, Arthur, and had a cabin to themselves. Winnie made no announcement to her mother about home base being reached, so readers are free to speculate how far around the baseball diamond their romance had managed. It was clearly a romance. When they were seen together, they were always arm in arm. They were even seen kissing in the water with waves breaking over them which was pretty darn romantic, at least as far as your narrator was concerned.

The governors and first ladies of Montana and Colorado were seen socializing together. They even had a long meeting together with Melissa and Winnie who both left looking pleased. Stu was also at that meeting.

Winnie and Reese had a meeting as well. It didn't last long, but that's because Arthur was bobbing in the waves, calling her name.

Reese was the odd man out. He had no girl friend, no children to watch, and nobody specific to eat with. Mind you, he could have joined any of the family groups and be welcomed. He just didn't do that. He spent a lot of time sitting on the top of an old fashioned lighthouse and looking at the sun shining off the waves. Invisibly, of course. When he ate, it was at a table in the back of an old diner that was full of murk. Reese and his black beard morosed himself into the restaurant's ambience, such as it was.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 31

Last day of holidays in Mexico. Fanny found Winnie filling her plate at the buffet table. She was either eating a late breakfast or an early lunch. The dining room was mostly empty.

"Hi, Winnie."

"What's up, Fanny?"

"I'm going to spend most of the day on the beach. Put my feet in some warm sand. You don't need me, do you?"

"No, we'll start the operation when we get back home. All the planning is done. You look different."

"My hair is more red now. I like a Melissa look."

"You look younger too."

"Yeah. It's too hard to pretend to be over 20. I'm 17 or 18 now."

"Nice swim suit. Black bikini and red hair. Transparent knee-high white camisole. You're looking particularly hot today!"

"I got tired of looking like an old maid."

"That is not an old maid's bathing suit. Have a good time."

"See y'all."

### # # # # # # # #

Fanny strolled barefoot for a mile down the beech, flip-flops in her hands, and enjoying the feel of the sand in her toes. She wasn't much for swimming, so the bathing suit never did get wet. But, it did get tighter and skimpier after she felt the admiring glances of the men she passed. And who could blame her for taking off the camisole in the heat? She played with the idea of a thong bottom. There were plenty of them around, but she decided that would be too much of a change if anybody in the family saw her.

It was around 11:30 when she saw Reese entering an old diner. It was close enough to lunch, so she strolled in. She had been introduced to Reese as part of one of the family's beach outings. The one where the old maid bathing suit was definitely needed. Reese was sitting at the back of the diner in the gloom. She sat down opposite him. Reese wasn't looking through the menu. He knew it by heart by now.

"Hi, Reese. Mind if I join you? I'm Fanny."

"Yes, I recognize you. The food is not particularly good here."

"If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. How come I've never seen you on the beach?"

"I'm not one for socializing. I like to be by myself."

"Is there a reason for that?"

"Don't like making small talk."

"You're the strong silent type."

"Don't know about that. If you don't have anything useful to say, keep your mouth shut. That's my view on things."

"You're the hermit in the family."

"Yup."

"You have a cave and everything."

"Yup."

"Who do you like to talk with more? Men or women?"

"Neither."

"I'm dying out her, Reese. Give me some help. Ask me something."

"I'm an introvert. I looked it up. I hit 10 out of 10 on the introvert scale. We don't like to talk."

"Wanna neck instead?"

...

"Well, that got your attention. Have you ever necked before?"

"Sort of. I had a girl friend but she dumped me. I found her again and we were doing some things, but she got sick and almost died. She said that she forgot me."

Fanny rose and moved around the table so that she could sit next to Reese. "It's noisy in here. I can hear you better if I'm sitting next to you. What was her name?"

"Annika."

"Nice name. Tell me all about Annika."

### # # # # # # # #

"Losing Annika may not have been such a bad thing, Reese. Sometimes bad things happen so that good things can occur. Sounds to me that you and Annika weren't exactly made for each other."

Fanny had closed the gap between them and had her right hand on Reese's left arm.

"She was kind of bossy. And very neat. I'm not neat."

"You wouldn't want her to be always telling you what to wear."

"No."

"So why aren't you looking for another girl friend?"

"I don't feel like doing anything. Except for one thing that I do like. Most of the time I just look at the lights."

"Lights?"

"Shining lights in my cave. They're pretty. They make me feel good."

"Do you ever wake up and not remember going to bed?"

"Yeah."

"You need to get out of that cave more often, Reese. The lights may be hypnotizing you to sleep."

"How would you know that?"

"I had a somewhat similar situation. Waking up and not remembering going to my bed. In my case, people talking in the background put me to sleep. I decided to get out more often. Did you notice my bathing suit?"

"Yeah. You're hot. You're probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

"Reese! Where did that come from?"

"Where did what come from?"

"About me being beautiful."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Duh."

"Sometimes I say things that I shouldn't."

"If you noticed my bathing suit, then there's hope for you. Tell me, if you could do one thing to change the world, what would it be?"

...

Fanny used the moment of silence while Reese was thinking to slip closer to Reese. She was now sitting sideways on the bench seat with her right hand on Reese's left arm. Now she also had her left hand on Reese's chest. Her head was almost resting on his shoulder.

"I already did that."

"Oh. So you have nothing useful to do now?"

"I'm doing it."

"And hypnotizing yourself to sleep each night. That's not much of a life, Reese."

"Yours is better?"

"At least I'm working at making it better."

"There's no hope for me. I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. Winnie has a boyfriend now. She's younger than me. I was supposed to be the next to marry. I'm the only one in the family that doesn't have a partner."

"So, go out and change that. Find a girl friend."

"I don't know any girls."

"Hello! Do you see this body? Is this a male body?"

"Why would you like me? I don't talk. I like to be alone. No girl would want that."

"Reese, close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just do it. No peeking." Fanny's left hand touched Reese right cheek and turned his face toward her. She planted a kiss full on his lips and then put some oomph into it.

Reese almost levitated into the air. He opened his eyes to see another set of eyes looking at him from inches away.

"What?" Fanny asked "Too much tongue?"

...

"Reese, your eyes are bulging out of their sockets. Your head looks like it's going to explode. Relax. Please."

Reese did. "Why'd you do that?"

"Cause I figured you'd be a very good kisser, and I wanted to find out what it was like to be kissed. I'm getting out more, remember. I'm tired of being alone inside."

"Why did you figure that I'd be a good kisser?"

"Cause you're sensitive. I'm kinda like you, I think. You're the best kisser I've ever had."

"How many have you had?"

"Before you? Let me count. None. But I have hopes for you. Wanna neck now?"

Fanny didn't wait for a response. Probably a good thing. They might have been there all afternoon waiting for Reese to make up his mind. It's a good thing the back of the diner was murky.

### # # # # # # # #

_That was sick. I wanted to puke. Why'd you do that?_

_Maddy, I told you that I was going to take over the body more often._

_I didn't agree to any kissing. You have to stay inside the body now._

_We had an agreement. You asked me for help getting information about those insurance people. I pulled out that information for you. You never would have gotten them to talk with you otherwise._

_I know. You're good at that. You were always solving the problems when the four of us argued._

_So why go back on our agreement?_

_I didn't know you were going to attack our daddy._

_It wasn't an attack._

_There were tongues. That's not a regular kiss._

_So what?_

_I say that you can't have any more kissing with our daddy._

_He wasn't our daddy. He was a temporary babysitter. Without his beard, he'd be cute._

_Do you think he'll take your hint about shaving the beard._

_Yeah I do. Wanna bet?_

_No bet. So, here's our new agreement. You can't kiss Reese any more or do anything else with him. You were kind of slutty with that bathing suit._

_So, if you insist on having that agreement, I want you to think about this. It's the top of the ninth. You're up by one. Coach wants you to strike the side out. On your first pitch, you wind up and the ball bounces two times before it crosses the plate._

_You wouldn't!_

_I would. I can't throw a baseball to save your life. You'll never know when I'm going to take over the body. A throw to second will go into the bleachers. You'll be catching a pop fly and it will bounce off your mask._

_You know about baseball?_

_I had nothing to do while you were hogging the body. Baseball is very boring. Kissing is way more interesting. You should try it._

_I'm only 12."_

_I'm only 12 too._

_But you're inside an 18 year old body._

_Don't forget, I'm the most beautiful girl Reese has ever seen. Match that!_

_I'm working for Heaven!_

_So am I!_

_Why'd you use a weird voice before?_

_I've always wanted to be a southern belle, y'all._

_I'll barf in his mouth the next time you kiss if you don't drop that voice._

_All right. I was getting tired of it any way._

_...._

_What are we going to do, Karita?_

_We share, like we always did. You have your Maddy body. It's all yours now. I get to live in the Fanny body._

_If Fanny has to fight, then I fight instead of you._

_OK, because we don't want some villain to hurt the most beautiful body that Reese has ever seen. Maddy's body? Not so hot._

_You're not going to let that go, are you? You're necking with Reese. What are you going to do about Reese? He's a nice guy._

_He gave me the GPS of his cave. I may drop in on him one day._

_You wouldn't!_

_Wanna bet?_

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 32

Monday, January 5, 2093. The first Monday of every month was traditionally the day that all devils stationed on Earth attended divisional meetings in Hell. This had been going on for so long that Satan was not about to change it. This month, all the formal meetings tended to be very brief. News about the emigration of some of Hell's wealthiest and most powerful devils was expected soon. The key gossip revolved around whether the emigrants were allowed to take their accumulated wealth with them, and whether they actually arrived in Lucifus alive. Satan had established what all dictators liked to establish: fear that he could do anything to anybody for any reason at any time.

Wytlss had no such fears. He had been Hell's sole representative in all of Montana for years and years. Moreover, in the past few years, he had received credit for all of Jim Dandy's, shall we call them, mischievous behaviours. The tortures were fairly mundane, for example copter thefts, threatening middle-aged women, and graffiti defacement. But considering that Montana was a state that was very mundane, flat, parched, and populated with more cows than people, he was doing well. Cows don't offer much opportunity for creative torturing. The worst you could do was milk them with cold hands.

Wytlss sat down in a PUS car on the line to Denver, Laramie, Billings, Calgary, and Edmonton, his mind free from worry. Soon, he would be instrumental in forcing all the hardware store owners in Montana to leave the state, hopefully bankrupt. Plus he might have the beginning of a revenue line of pictures of teenage girls showering. He might be able to earn double credit for the pictures: torture for the girls, and extra cash for selling them to the devils in Hell that put together various collections of popular themes. _Cowgirls who have lost their clothes on the range_ was a title running through Wytlss' mind right now. Royalties could add up on these if they became popular among the perverted. Wytlss himself was not perverted, but he did know a lot of perverts, none of whom were answering his calls for a quote on buying a blonde that was currently hidden in Rat's old store.

It was that thought of Rat's old store that caused him to listen in on the conversation of the two devils behind him. He vaguely remembered them getting on in SinSin-atti and passing by his seat. One had a scorpion tail, and the other had an elephant body.

"I'm looking forward to its opening," one of them was saying. "Rat's store always had such good merchandise."

"I'm glad somebody is starting it up again. Food has become so expensive. I have to watch what I eat given the elephant legs I have to stand on. Rat's store had good diet food."

"Did you know what date they'll be starting up?"

"They'll examine the store next week for damage. After that, they'll start restocking."

"I heard they're giving discounts for the first one hundred devils to buy something pink...."

Wytlss didn't hear anything more about that discount. He was getting off at Denver and heading back to SinSin-atti.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 33

Pig Snout, also known in Hell as Wytlss, snuck into Rat's store through the window he had broken in the back storeroom, paused, listened carefully, and then tip-hooved to the swinging door connecting the storage room to the main store. He had left the blonde completely in the dark, but a few lights were now on. With luck, she'd be dead from starvation.

No such luck.

"Hey, Pig Snout. Where have you been? I've been lonely. Wanna play some baseball?"

He tried to follow her voice but she had stopped talking.

"Pig Snout, I'm up here. Look way up."

He did and saw some sort of nest in the rafters. A blonde head was visible from where he was standing but not much else. She waved at him.

"You can't get me up here. Gonna give up?"

If she could climb up there, so could he. Wytlss wandered around searching for a very long ladder and found none on the main floor or in the storage room. Back he came to the spot under her nest.

"You can't get me. Told you."

There, on the wall. Some spikes were driven into the cement blocks and those created a makeshift spike ladder on the wall. On the floor, he saw a power drill, which she would have used to drill holes in the walls. Extra spikes were on the floor. The spikes in the wall were a little loose but still stable. This wall ladder was how she got up and down. The makeshift ladder would take her to a main girder, and from there, she'd walk across the girders to the next girder. Well, if she could do it, so could he. But not in this body. Once he reached the girder, he'd change back to his devilian form, cross the girders, grab her, and toss her off. A fall from this height would either kill her or disable her. Easy.

Harold T. Wittleston and his three-piece suit climbed the spike ladder tentatively. The spikes at the top were quite loose and wobbly. He had to take a few deep breaths before putting his weight on them. Reaching the main girder, he sat down and looked at his choices. He could walk across in his mortal form but the girder was only one foot wide. That meant that he'd have to be very careful how he stepped forward.

"I'm bored! What's taking you so long?"

Or, he could sit down on the girder, hang one leg over one side, and the other leg over the other side, and butt walk his way across in his devil body. A fall from this height wouldn't kill him. A quick change of body followed.

"Bukaw! Bukaw! It sure is scary up here. Bukaw! Bukaw!"

Maddy's attempt to sound like a chicken fell flat. Pig Snout knew about fried chicken but he had never seen or heard a live chicken.

Pig Snout had chosen the prudent course of action. You may now conclude that Pig Snout wasn't much of a _daredevil_. He was about one third of the way across when his hands noticed a difference in the girder's texture. Where he was sitting, the girder was dark and grainy. Where he was about to be sitting was shiny and slippery.

"It's Vaseline. I found a big tub of it in Aisle 2, Copter Maintenance. I know where everything is in this store. I could be a store manager. Are you going to chicken out, Pig Snout? Bukaw, Bukaw."

Wytlss finally made the connection and then tried to ignore her. If he changed bodies to mortal...

"Bukaw, Bukaw." She was now standing in her nest and flapping her elbows up and down, supposedly like a chicken.

...form, he could take off his shirt and use that to wipe the Vaseline off the girder. That seemed like a good idea, so he converted to the Wittleston body and started cleaning. There was a LOT of Vaseline. The vest and shirt didn't last very long. He could try and take his pants off and use them, but that would have meant using gymnastic skills that he didn't have. He could go back to the ladder, climb down, load up with clothes or towels, and return. But stepping off the girder onto the wall ladder would be difficult. As mentioned earlier, the top rungs were loose and wobbly. If she could walk across this girder, then he could do too. But how did she cross the slippery section? He craned his head forward at a different angle looking for handprints, footprints or smearing. Nothing.

"Hey, Moustache Man. Look at me. I'm standing up in my nest."

Indeed she was. She was turned sideways so that he could only see her left side. She was looking over her left shoulder at him, her right hand hanging loosely down her right side. She swung her right arm high. Something white was in her right hand. Then, she brought her left knee up and....

Moustache Man was not a baseball fan. Few fancy-dancey, three piece-suited humans are. If he had been a fan, he would have recognized the pitching action. Not being a fan, he was left to draw the conclusion that she was throwing something at him as the something approached his nose. Wytlss wasn't particularly fast at drawing conclusions. Maddy's pitch was much faster at reaching its destination. That's because she used her fast ball. Duh.

"Strike one. Right down the center of the plate."

Moustache Man was holding his nose. The pain was excruciating. Broken noses usually are, even if you had been wearing a nice suit. He wobbled on the girder but closed his knees and held on.

"Hey, Moustache Man, look up!"

The second ball was coming at his nose again. Moustache Man's self preservation instincts kicked in and he got his hands up to his face in time. He didn't notice that this pitch was different.

Let's review the way that Moustache Man was positioned. He was sitting astride a steel girder. When males sit down astride something hard and unforgiving, they try to avoid sitting on what I will call their _male treasures_. Sitting directly on them could be quite painful. They aren't built to be sat on. Males who wish to avoid neutering themselves will make a slight adjustment in how they are sitting astride something hard automatically. They learn this quite early in life. So at this precise moment, Harold T. Wittleston's male treasures were resting comfortably on a girder and they were blissfully unaware that a baseball was spinning towards them and it was dropping, and dropping and dropping.

Male treasures do not have a lot of protective covering. Plus, since his treasures were resting on a steel girder, they didn't have any room to escape what was spinning at them if they had had enough brain power to realize what was about to happen. Trust me on this. Male treasures have no brain power whatsoever.

"Strike two," Maddy claimed even though the ball hit the plate and bounced into a tender spot.

It was like a hammer blow. Moustache Man's hands left his nose and rushed into a protective shell position, but they were far too late. Flailing hands are not good for maintaining a sitting position on a narrow girder. Moustache Man's body fell sideways off the girder and was spinning downwards when Pig Snout took over the body. He landed with a thud and bounced a few inches into the air before settling down for a wee nappy.

...

"Surprise," Maddy said.

Her voice was much closer than it should been. She was supposed to be up in the girders. She wasn't. She was holding the end of a very long rope. Tarzan, meet Maddy, Queen of the Rat*Mart Girders.

"Look what I have," she said.

Pig Snout looked, but didn't recognize what it was. She was holding something in her left hand. It had a handle and something that looked like a bicycle chain was wrapped around something that was snout like in appearance, at least a very long snout. She let go off the rope and tugged on a cord that was attached to this thing and a raucous noise filled the store.

"Chain saws, Aisle 7, Gardening Supplies. This is for what you did to Meifeng."

Devil scales are no match for a chain saw.

### # # # # # # # #

Some people think that you can only die once. Those people haven't angered Winnie by abusing defenseless women.

Maddy's baseball attack on Wytlss from the girders of Rat*Mart was impressive. Her role in the Chain Saw Battle at the Not-So-OK Corral ended when she lopped off his right arm.

Following Winnie's plan, Maddy passed the chain saw to Meghan, who dedicated her gift to the insurance women who had been photographed. That gift? Goodbye, left arm.

You could say that Wytlss was going into battle now unarmed. Wytlss was still afterliving, although bleeding heavily. Winnie fixed that by firing up a blowtorch (Aisle 5, Plumbing Supplies) and cauterizing the two stumps.

Next up was Paula who dedicated her gift to the hardware company women who had been photographed. The gift? Goodbye left leg. Hello, blowtorch.

You'll already know where Wytlss next stump will be. The dedication? The little girl that he kissed on her mouth when she was sleeping. The donor? Winnie. This time, no blowtorch.

Four women watched as Wytlss bled to death. Then, they grabbed a piece or two of him (one torso including head, and four limbs) and took them into the back room where they put his body back together again (sort of), laid him to rest on one of Meghan's health restoration units, and waited for the machine to bring him back to life. When it did, they duct taped his mouth and bundled him up into a UPS travel pack. Reese was waiting for him when he arrived on Earth. An hour later, Wytlss was in a UN courtroom. Ten minutes later, he was dead again. So you see, you can die twice. Joe-Joe put him into cold storage for delivery to Hell after the Jim Dandy operation was complete.

### # # # # # # # #

"Any mail, Sweet Thang?" Harold T. Wittleston asked his secretary as he breezed by her. It was still Monday, but in the early afternoon.

"No, Boss."

"Get me coffee."

"Yes, Boss."

Wittleston was sitting behind his desk, feet up on a desk drawer that he had pulled out for that very purpose, when coffee arrived. His receptionist managed to place the steaming cup of coffee on the desktop while performing the secretarial two-step in which she avoided an intended bum pat while stifling the urge to pour the contents of the cup over his head. Sweet Thang was 68 years old and needed this job. Wittleston was an equal opportunity misogynist.

"Meeting run long?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'll be planning this afternoon. No visitors."

"Yes, Boss. I'll have Douglas take care of anything that comes up."

"Atta girl, you sweet thang."

The 68-year-old sweet thang knew that planning meant sleeping. Her boss became very grumpy if he didn't get his beauty rest. Not that it worked. She wouldn't be interrupting him, even though the pretentious piece of poop didn't do any work. Douglas, his assistant, did it all.

Wittleston watched the door shut firmly behind Sweet Thang and then disappeared. As in, he wasn't in the building or even on the planet any more. Thanks to Winnie's drones, Arthur knew exactly how Wittleston's workday would go.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 34

Four days later, on Friday night January 9th, somebody defaced every copter that lay quietly gleaming in the moon light in Dandy's new copter lot. You may wonder how those copters had become gleaming after Winnie and Galahad had graffitified them. The answer is easy, even if the spelling of my invented word _graffitified_ is difficult. The Jim Dandy family had repainted every single one of them over the holidays.

Jim Dandy found the new damage on Saturday morning and began stewing about the scratches on his new copters. They weren't mere scratches. Deep grooves ran over both door panels, the roof, and the engine compartment. They were so deep that a suspicious person might think they had been created by the chisel bit in a portable power drilling unit (Aisle 8, Home Handyman Tools).

Sunday, Jim Dandy was roasting. On Monday, he was parboiled. At 9 am, he stormed into the outer office of the Billings prosecutor and demanded to see Harold T. Wittleston. Grandma Moses, Wittleston's secretary, tried to put him off. _[No, Grandma Moses was not a descendent of Grandma Moses, the famous painter. She was a direct descendent of Hubert Moses, the dogcatcher of Butt Fly, Montana. Hubert Moses was famous for being able to catch butt flies in his teeth. Needless to say, entertainment offerings in Butt Fly were limited.]_

Grandma was trying to stall because Harold T. Wittleston didn't usually arrive before lunch. Clearly, Jim Dandy wasn't going to last until lunch. She was relieved to hear the office door behind her open and her boss' voice saying, "I'll see this man, Sweet Thang. I don't believe we've met," Wittleston said and extended a hand.

"Jim Dandy. I have the copter business in town." Hands were pumped vigorously. In Montana, if you don't shake the arthritis out of a man's elbow during a handshake, you're considered to be an easterner, also known as a foopsy democrat. The terms are interchangeable. Neither of them is complimentary.

"I've heard of you. Come on in. Let's have a chin wag. What's bothering you?" he asked as he shut the door firmly behind him.

Well, what was bothering Jim Dandy was simple. Not only did he have no copters to sell, but he had no easy way to repair them so that they'd be as good as new. Those copters were toast and would be useful only for parts. He had no way to recoup the cost of purchasing them from the manufacturer. Normally, a copter business owner who had been vandalized in such a manner would make a claim to his insurance company. That insurance company would pay a truckload of money to have those copters replaced. But, Jim Dandy was the secret owner of the insurance company. The money would have to come out of Jim Dandy's own (secret) pocket. He'd be out a considerable amount of money. Moreover, the copter manufacturer had sold Jim Dandy his entire production line supply. It would be at least a month before Jimbo could buy a copter to sell. During that time, he still had to pay staff for sitting around and doing nothing.

"Jim, did you report this to the police?" Harold asked. For two people who had never met before, Harold had moved to first names remarkably quickly.

"The police captain said that he would look into it. There's a chance that he can trace the tools that they used to local stores." _[Good luck with that.]_

"But realistically?"

"The vandals would have to be pretty dumb."

"Is another copter company trying to move into your market?"

"I would have heard of it."

"I don't see a solution, Jim. This is the problem of owning insurance companies. If something bad happens like a flood, you have to pay. You can raise the rates afterward to recoup your costs, but first you have to pay the settlement out of your capital."

_[Dandy was so fried that he didn't notice that Witless was suddenly Witfull.]_

"I know."

"This is exactly what you did when you drove the other insurance companies into bankruptcy. You created a lot of false accidents that they had to cover."

"Yeah, I noticed that too."

_[Jim Dandy was sitting in a chair facing the desk. Winnie's drone was in perfect position to catch every word and record every grimace.]_

"Do you have the capital?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds like you'll have to bite the bullet."

_[In Montana, 'biting the bullet' means actually biting a bullet into two halves. A contest of bullet biting is part of the annual Let's be Stupid festivities, although it actually goes by the name 'Summer Frolics.' This particular contest was sponsored by Montana's Association of Dentists whose slogan was 'Put Your Teeth In Our Hands,' which makes sense if you have to wear dentures from biting the bullet too many times.]_

"And the next time that I'm vandalized?"

"You're expecting this to happen again?"

"Yeah, why would they stop at two attacks?"

"I may have a solution for you."

### # # # # # # # #

"Governor Emerson is promoting this?" Jim Dandy was having difficulty believing the supposed solution that Wittleston was outlining.

"Yes. I met with him in Government House at his request. He was very gracious and charming."

"Why would the state governor be promoting the development of the site where the old First Interstate Center with its four towers used to stand?"

"They own the entire block. Back in 48, the state government bought the property from Billings, which didn't have the money to keep the city going after the earthquake. The state bailed them out. Afterwards, the government condemned the buildings and then forgot that they owned them. They've been an eyesore ever since." _[All of this was true.]_

"And they're going to ask private businesses to bid on buying the property and redeveloping it."

"It will become the new downtown center of Billings. The developer can build whatever he thinks he can sell to local businesses who are looking for prime locations. Office buildings, retail outlets, condos. Anything. It's a huge opportunity."

"Why didn't you mention this to me before?"

"You didn't have the capital to bid. Your money is all tied up in insurance, copters, and soon hardware stores."

"I can make a ton of money with those hardware stores."

"That would be pennies of profit compared to what you would earn building out the whole block."

"Who do you think will bid?"

"Nobody in Montana, that's for sure. Perhaps a consortium out of Wyoming."

"It would be a shame for Montana land to be developed by out-of-state companies."

"You can't do anything about that. You should forget it. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"How come the governor talked to you?"

"I am the highest legal representative in this part of the state. Frank wanted me to handle the bidding process."

"Frank?"

"He invited me to stay overnight so that we could iron out the details. He's a friendly guy."

"And the details are?"

"I collect all the bids. I check that the bidder has the cash or assets that they say they do. When the deadline passes, I send the bids to the governor for his people to adjudicate."

"This means that you will see the bids before the deadline."

"Yes. Why?"

"If I'm the last person to bid, I can win if you tell me how much I need to bid."

"I hadn't thought of that." _[Yes, he had. Melissa had too. She had come up with the rough plan. Winnie had thrown in a few wrinkles, like having an angel disguise himself as a dead devil and encourage Dandy to bid.]_

"You don't have the capital, Jim. No way can you bid."

"I'd have the capital if I sold off the copter business and the insurance business."

"You're that rich?"

"I am."

"Huh."

"That will solve the problem of some vandals destroying my copter business."

"Same thing for the insurance business."

"I can sell them anonymously on Buy'n Sell Online. I used them before to have Morrison buy Fortuna's hardware store and then sell it to me. Everything is anonymous."

"Are they honest?"

"Why?"

"You'll be selling two huge businesses that will bring in very large amounts of money. This could be tempting to some people."

"What do you suggest?"

"Put the businesses up for sale but have the buyers contact me. I'll verify their credentials. I'll use Hell's files to weed out the crooks. They buyer will deposit his bid money with me in what lawyers call an escrow account. You'll give me the signed deed of sale papers for your companies that you have a lawyer draw up. When everything is done to my satisfaction, you'll get the money and the buyers will own your old businesses."

"But, you're a crook."

"I'm **your** crook and I have absolutely no use for human money."

"It would be helpful having you check out the buyers through Hell's records."

"Speaking of Hell. I've told you before that Hell has a transit system that has a station in the deep basement of that old tower structure. Hell would not want a mortal company digging down to that basement. But, if you were the contractor, they'd be happy. I bet you could earn some money out of Hell for upgrading their Billings PUS station. I could speak to somebody on your behalf. There have been some complaints."

"Devils complain?"

"All the time. You could probably throw some vending machines on the main platform too. Cheesies might go over well in Hell. I haven't seen them down there yet."

"I get money from Montana and from Hell. I build whatever I want and then charge rent for exclusive property in downtown Billings. How could I turn that down?"

"That's what I wondered too."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 35

In the next ten days, developments came much too slowly for Jim Dandy's tastes. As Wittleston explained it, few companies could pull together enough money to bid on Dandy's insurance business plus the copter business. Some offers did come in, but Wittleston refused them on the basis that the offers were far too low to consider. Meanwhile Dandy was paying four employees to do nothing. The insurance business started to turn south when Billings citizens saw the defaced copters on Dandy's parking pad and began to question why the insurance company hadn't paid out. Was it going broke?

On Wednesday, January 21, Dandy told Wittleston to show him the low bids. All were from numbered companies, but all were able to certify that they had the funds. Dandy accepted the highest bid of the three but he almost choked on having to do that. Then he signed the necessary documents to finalize the sale and Jim Dandy's copter company was no more. Signs declaring _Under New Ownership_ went up in the media and on site. The new owner of the insurance company remained silent.

All three bids were actually put together by Stu who had formed three numbered companies. All three bids were outrageously low. The money to buy the companies was pulled together by Wizard. As to why there were so few offers to buy his companies? Nobody in Montana or in the surrounding states knew about the sale of Dandy's businesses because Wytlss forgot to advertise it. Dandy took the Wilizy money and stored it in his vault in his basement, the vault that Winnie and Galahad had discovered when they went to their _boots on the ground investigation phase_. As far as Melissa and the other Wilizy were concerned, they knew that Dandy had stored the money somewhere and that Winnie and her people were watching that money hoping that Maddy's kidnapper and his crew would make a stab at robbing it.

With his vault now flush with cash, Dandy's focus shifted to the purchase of the First Interstate Center property. According to Wittleston, the Billings Land Office wanted to have all the necessary permits signed in advance before examining the bid. That would allow construction to proceed more quickly. That was all fiction.

### # # # # # # # #

In other matters, records of Hell's senior-most devils arriving in Lucifus were distributed widely. The citizenship ceremony was also shown although it must be said that the citizenship was only temporary. Full citizenship would come once the new devils proved that they could speak the language and follow appropriate norms of misconduct.

Lillian had finished mulling. "Satan's idea of retiring Hell's senior devils has some merit," she said to Joe-Joe. "We should do the same. I'm taking it to the Inner Circle."

"Many of them are your friends."

"They're in the way. We can't establish 22nd century policies based on 17th century minds."

"Will you ask for volunteers first?"

"Yes. A minimum of five hundred years of experience will qualify them for early retirement in Angelion. I haven't been there but it should be a decent place to afterlive."

"Will Angelion agree if the Inner Circle agrees?"

"That'll be up to you. Winnie will need Sir Galahad and me in the next couple of weeks. Take the space ship and go to Angelion. Galahad's second in command can be relied on. Her name is _Shields_. Talk primarily to the military. Focus your arguments on how we have Hell on the run so badly that they had to bring in a new Satan."

### # # # # # # # #

Jim Dandy was meeting with Wittleston in the comfort of Dandy's office at the Copter Company. It was Saturday. Dandy was pretending to clean out his office. Wittleston was pretending to look at copters. Neither had to pretend much; the place was deserted.

"What's the rush for a meeting?" Dandy asked.

"Bad news."

"Are the permits delayed further?"

"Much worse. A big whale has swum into the basin."

"Huh?"

"Somebody else is interested in the First Interstate business and they have cash to burn."

"Who?"

"The state of Colorado."

"What? That's crazy. Another government can't bid."

"Nothing is stopping them. Colorado is trying to expand its economy. Having a huge retail and business property in Montana would be attractive to them. Plus the governor of Colorado hates Frank Emerson with a passion. Buying up land that Montana can't develop on its own is like a wearing a sheepskin Stetson to a rodeo."

"Do Stetsons come in sheepskin?"

"I don't know, but I do know that Governor Stookenhap hates Emerson. I heard that Emerson made a pass at Stook's wife over the holidays. They met by accident in Mexico."

"How am I supposed to compete with a bid from a government?"

"You'll have to come up with more money. I have Colorado's bid here." Wittleston pushed a file folder to the other side of the table.

"I don't have that much cash."

"You have an advantage here. You are a Montana citizen. Whoever is making the selection will take that into account. Plus Emerson will push hard against Colorado's bid. You have to find more money somewhere!"

"Where?"

"Have you considered mortgaging your house?"

"I really do not want to do that."

"Kiss First State goodbye then."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 36

Wednesday morning, January 28.

"They accepted your bid! You've won."

"!!!!!"

"I don't believe I've ever heard you so excited, Jim."

"What comes next?"

"I will pick up the legal documents this afternoon. I'm sure they'll be fine but I have to look them over. Since you're paying in cash, Montana doesn't have to verify your financial position. I'll arrange for a meeting tomorrow and we'll get all the signatures. You'll bring the cash. You'll own the property by tomorrow evening. Incidentally, I've heard from Hell. They were holding back their decision until you actually owned the property. I'll go down and start the paperwork. I'll be down there for a couple of days. We'll celebrate when I get back."

"Paperwork?"

"Sure, you didn't expect them to give you a truck load of money without some paper behind it. They do this all the time. It's similar to the procedure for selling your soul."

"Selling my soul?"

"Relax, Jim. They don't want you to sell your soul. You're already going to Hell for what you've done. You know that. This just formalizes it. I can arrange for you to take all your wealth with you when you die. Hell does this for people like you. They'll welcome you with open arms."

"Sounds like a good deal."

"I can't describe how much you'll love it."

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 5 am on Thursday, January 29.

"Citizens in Cameron Park reported sounds of a very large explosion around midnight last night. Police Captain Cowboy Jackson was working late and was able to respond quickly to the emergency. According to early reports, the explosion originated inside the house of School Board Chairman Jim Dandy. Dandy and his family were woken by the explosion, which reportedly shook their house. They were on the porch in their bedclothes when Captain Jackson arrived. He quickly warned the Dandy family to stay outside in case the house had been structurally damaged. Ignoring the danger to himself, Cowboy entered the house and began searching for the cause of the explosion."

"According to neighbors, Captain Jackson emerged five minutes later to inform Dandy and his family that the door to a large vault in their basement had been blown open from the inside. He told them that if there had been anything in the vault before the explosion, nothing was there now. Mr. Dandy was unable to describe the contents of the vault due to the shock of the explosion that had hit him badly. He was seen sitting on his lawn, unable to get up."

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 7 am on Thursday, January 29.

Captain Jackson is asking for any citizens who may have seen a copter flying dangerously or quickly in the Cameron Park area around midnight to notify his office. According to one neighbor, a copter had been parked behind Jim Dandy's house minutes before the explosion. The cause of the explosion is under investigation. Captain Jackson has set up an anonymous tip line for citizens who can help with the investigation. Phone or text 406-000-0000.

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 9 am on Thursday, January 29.

Sources report that Jim Dandy was on the verge of making a deal to purchase a significant amount of land in Billings. Supposedly, he had sold his copter business earlier this month for that reason. The same sources report that he had a huge amount of cash ready for payment. If true, and if that cash were in his basement vault, the thief or thieves have made off with a huge amount of money. At present, we have been unable to contact Mr. Dandy to see if he is offering a reward.

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 11 am on Thursday, January 29.

A tipster walking his dog reported seeing a copter flying at street level in the Cameron Park area immediately after the explosion. At one point, the copter flew under a streetlight. The tipster claims that the copter was yellow with blue insignia. If true, this information would suggest that Jim Dandy's robber or robbers had acquired a City Of Billings' copter, perhaps by theft. City police are contacting all city workers to determine if their copter had been stolen. City officials were seen checking city parking lots for yellow and blue copters shortly after 10:30 am.

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 1 pm on Thursday, January 29.

Police Captain Jackson is asking citizens to help the police find a high-ranking city prosecutor who has not answered any calls from police trying to determine if his city copter had been stolen. Prosecutor Harold T. Wittleston is widely known in Billings due to his unique clothing. Wittleston's secretary, fondly referred to as Grandma Moses, reported that Prosecutor Wittleston had been talking about taking a few days off.

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 4 pm on Thursday, January 29.

Police Captain Jackson has issued a statewide request for Montana police and citizens to help Billings' police find Billings' Prosecutor Harold T. Wittleston who has gone missing along with his blue and yellow city copter. All other city copters have been found. Captain Jackson indicated that they are seeking to find Prosecutor Wittleston in case he had been kidnapped and forced to participate in Jim Dandy's house explosion. Dandy continues to stay inside and has not answered any appeals from media for comment. So far, only one person has been allowed in the house. That person was wearing the uniform of a vault repairman.

### # # # # # # # #

Dandy and the vault repairman were in the vault talking. The repairman had quickly quashed any ideas that Dandy might have had about repairing the vault. They were now talking about other things.

"How do I know that you're from Hell?" Dandy asked.

"Did Witless tell you about Hell?"

"You called him Witless?"

"Yeah. That's his name in Hell, because he's stupid. What do you know about Hell?"

"Not much. Devils have horns."

"Like this?"

The repairman now had a human head with horns growing out of it.

"You're from Hell."

"Now, you're getting it. Listen carefully. Your deal with Hell for construction of the PUS terminal is hereby cancelled. You are not to mention this deal to anybody, ever. Mortals like you aren't supposed to know that Hell exists."

"OK."

"In exchange for your silence, I've been told to give you some legal advice."

"You're a lawyer? Hell has lawyers?"

"Half of the devils in Hell are former lawyers. Do you want this advice or not?"

"I want it."

"The money in the vault was partly the money you received from selling your businesses plus the mortgage. That money can be traced. Soon you'll have investigators all over you asking questions about the money that was stolen. They'll want to know how much was in the vault and how you got it. You should admit only to the money that they can prove that you have acquired legitimately. How much was that?"

"Neighborhood of $800,000."

"You had a lot of other money in your vault from your numbered company. How much was that?"

"Give or take a few thousand, $500,000."

"Do not admit to ever having this money. If you do, you will go to jail for your insurance scams."

"How do you know all this?"

"Hell knows everything. Are you getting this? You will end up in jail if you tell them that $500,000 was in the vault before you added the money you received from selling your businesses and setting up the mortgage. Are you clear on this?"

"And if I claim that I never had that $500,000, will I get it back?"

"No, that money is gone. But you won't go to jail because they can't prove anything or because there are no laws against what you did."

"Did Wittleston steal my money?"

"Yeah. He was hoping to earn a promotion."

"Devils get promotions?"

"Be patient. You'll find out about Hell soon enough."

"What about Wittleston?"

"He's all broken up about stealing your money."

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 5 pm on Thursday, January 29.

Police Captain Jackson has issued a statewide warrant for the arrest of Billings' Prosecutor Harold T. Wittleston who is a person of interest in the Jim Dandy vault explosion and theft. Wittleston is likely wearing a three-piece suit and a tie. His most notable feature is a thin moustache. If you see this man, do not approach him. He may be dangerous. Call the nearest local law enforcement officer.

### # # # # # # # #

Billings Gazette, your news source, all day, every day. It's 7 pm on Thursday, January 29. Reporting from Helena is Fanny Fandigity.

Meifeng Li is a young teenager who works in her father's Chinese food restaurant in Helena. She was serving a man who had entered the restaurant at about 6:00 pm. He wanted to sit in the back away from the windows. As Meifeng took his order, she recognized him. After placing the order with her father, this brave young girl slipped out the back door and looked around the area. She found a locked yellow and blue copter. It was too dark to see inside it. She returned to the restaurant in time to take his meal to his table. She told me that she estimated that he would finish eating in ten minutes. She realized that she shouldn't approach him, but that didn't mean she couldn't approach the copter.

Fortunately, Wittleston had not set the parking brake. Meifeng Li is a slender young girl, but she found the strength to push the copter two blocks away, hide it in an empty garage, and shut the door. She returned in time to give the check to Wittleston who paid in cash and left. At that point, Meifeng called the Billings tip line and reported what she had done.

Helena's sheriff department was unable to find Wittleston in the dark. When morning comes, they will do a full search of the town and the surrounding area. Billings' police force will also be there to assist. For now, Wittleston's copter has been relocated again and is under heavy guard. Captain Jackson has asked Jim Dandy for a master key to the copter. He is assuming that he'll want to get back what Wittleston robbed.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 37

Friday, 10:30 am, Day 2 of the robbery investigation. A gaggle of media people was on the sidewalks around Jim Dandy's home when Cowboy's copter landed. He was immediately surrounded and questions started flying like wild geese looking for a place to land that they hadn't already pooped on. He held up his hand in a stop gesture and stepped up to a mike. That mike immediately developed a family. _[Mics have a very poor awareness of birth control. Sadly, so do geese.]_

"The Billings Police Department would like to thank those citizens who have phoned in tips. We'd also like to recognize Miss Meifeng Li's initiative in identifying the suspect that we were pursuing. Because of her efforts. we were able to recover what we believe are the entire contents of the vault that Harold T. Wittleston stole from Mr. Dandy. With Mr. Dandy's cooperation, we were able to open the door of the copter and we have brought its contents to Billings Police Department where they are being examined. I am here to ask Mr. Dandy some questions about the money that we have recovered. That is all that I have to say at this time."

### # # # # # # # #

Friday, 11:15 am. The front door to Dandy's house opened. Dandy and Cowboy walked down to the gaggle. Jim Dandy held up his hand for quiet. "I will make a statement. Captain Jackson asked me some questions about the amount of money that the police found in Wittleston's copter. He had determined beforehand the amount that I had contracted to pay for the First Interstate Center property. I should mention that I have purchased that property in a full legal manner through a bidding process that was adjudicated by the owners of the property, which in this case was the Montana state government. They decided that Jim Dandy was the best man to make better use of that eyesore."

"Captain Jackson asked me why the amount of money that was in Wittleston's copter was so much more than I had contracted to pay. I replied that I didn't know. I had no idea how much money was in that copter. Captain Jackson asked me if I could explain how the amount could be so large. I replied that it was obvious that Wittleston had robbed somebody else beforehand. I am now calling on the Billings' Police Department to wrap up their investigation of the robbery of my house so that I can proceed to do what the great state of Montana wants me to do: Build the biggest and best tower complex for the people of Billing. I ask him to return the money that was stolen from my vault and let me get on with my job. I have given Captain Jackson a full account of the money that was in my vault before it was blown open. It was exactly the amount that I had raised by selling some businesses and raising some additional capital."

"Mr. Dandy, Molly Moonblossom here. Were you good friends with Mr. Wittleston?"

"Why would you ask that question?"

"It's very clear that Wittleston was the man who robbed your vault. Obviously, he knew about the vault in your basement. He also knew how to break into your house. Was he in your house often?"

"It's a good question," Cowboy added. "Answer it."

"I met Mr. Wittleston once in his office when I went to complain about the vandalism of the copters on my lot. That was it. We did not meet in any way before or after my visit to his office."

"Thank you for clarifying that, Mr. Dandy," Cowboy said. "I have heard Mr. Dandy's appeal to return his money. I have also heard Mr. Dandy state, in the strongest of terms, that he is not the owner of the surplus cash that we found in Wittleston's copter. That means that somebody else in Billings has been robbed of a substantial amount of money. I call on that person to report the theft. In the meantime, I will begin the process of returning Mr. Dandy's money that he had raised to purchase the First Interstate property. We will have to determine that Mr. Dandy is the rightful owner. That should not take long. As part of normal routine, a forensic team will be examining Mr. Dandy's vault for fingerprints this afternoon. He has agreed to give us his fingerprints so that our search for the intruder's prints will go faster."

### # # # # # # # #

Friday, 4:30 pm. Cowboy was surrounded as he walked up the sidewalk in front of Dandy's house. "I am here to inform Mr. Dandy that he has a significant legal problem facing him. The paperwork he submitted to purchase the downtown property is seriously flawed. I will be asking him who did the paperwork. I will also be seeking outside legal advice on how to handle the flaws in that purchase contract."

### # # # # # # # #

Friday, 4:45. Cowboy was once again surrounded as he left Dandy's house. He was alone. "Mr. Dandy was unaware of the flaws in the legal process. These flaws were so obvious, even to me, that I asked him who had handled the paperwork. I also asked him if Mr. Wittleston had helped him. Mr. Dandy was angered by my question. He stated emphatically that he did not know Mr. Wittleston and Mr. Wittleston had not been part of the purchase process. When I pressed him as to who had done the paperwork, Mr. Dandy confessed that he had done it himself. I explained to him as much as I could what was wrong with the paperwork. I myself have no lawyer background. He seemed perturbed by my information and declined to come outside and make a statement."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 38

The next day, Saturday, 3 pm. The media had been invited to attend a press conference at Government House and were waiting with some eagerness in the media room. They were fairly certain that the press conference would be about Dandy's house explosion. But, Government House? This media room was reserved for public announcements by Governor Emerson or his chief of staff. How was Governor Emerson involved?

They didn't have long to wait. A procession of five men and one woman crossed the dais and sat down in the seats provided. One seat was empty. Governor Emerson strode to the mic.

"I will introduce our guests as we proceed through this presentation. The six people that you see before you have just concluded a meeting regarding the purchase and sale of the First Interstate property. Mr. Dandy attended that meeting, but declined to attend this press conference. We have left his seat open in case he changes his mind."

"Last night, Billings' Police Captain Cowboy Jackson informed me of the progress of his investigation into the explosion inside Mr. Dandy's home. That explosion and robbery are totally intertwined with the agreement that Mr. Dandy had with the State of Montana to purchase the First Interstate property. The money that Mr. Dandy lost in that robbery was intended to pay for the purchase."

"Captain Jackson expressed a strong need to have a legal expert study the documents surrounding the purchase of the First Interstate property. He suggested that the expert be independent and preferably be based outside of Montana. His concern was that the thief who stole Mr. Dandy's money was a Montana prosecutor and that Mr. Wittleston's involvement tainted the entire Montanan legal system. He emphasized that the investigation into the legal documents surrounding the purchase had to be seen as untainted by any possible interference by anybody in the State of Montana who has been involved in the sale itself. I agreed with Chief Jackson. Chief, please raise your hand. I see a lot of media here from out of town and not all of you will know our Billings' police captain."

"Last night, I communicated with Governor Stookenhap of Colorado. Governor, please raise your hand. .... Thank you. Governor Stookenhap recommended an independent legal expert that has worked with him before and he praised him for his legal knowledge and his integrity. Stook served as an intermediary in bringing that expert to Montana today. Mr. Stu McKenzie will now address you."

"Thank you, Governor Emerson. We had a long discussion earlier today about the problems that the Montana government is facing with the sale of the First Interstate property. I do not intend to repeat the details of that discussion here. Legal jargon can be immensely convoluted. I will however present you with my conclusions and my recommendations that I gave to the group. All of these recommendations have been accepted by the parties involved, including Mr. Dandy."

"I have determined that the legalities involved in that sale were seriously flawed because Mr. Dandy handled that paperwork himself. I pressed him on that in the meeting and he stated that yes, he had put together the documents. They had seemed very straightforward to him. In taking on that task, Mr. Dandy made numerous mistakes. I don't believe anybody could have made more mistakes if he had tried."

"There are two basic principles in law here that must be respected. First, in drawing up documents governing the purchase and sale of property, the lawyer will represent his client to the best of his ability. Second, in preparing those papers, the lawyer also owes a duty to the law itself. He is an officer of the court. He must not break the law. In his ignorance, Mr. Dandy broke numerous laws. I have concluded that the entire purchase and sale of the First Interstate property were rendered illegal because of that."

"The solution is not pretty, but it is necessary. Here's what the group you see here agreed was necessary. The sale of that First Interstate property land and all of the transactions involved prior to the sale **never happened**. For the city of Billings, that means that there will be no development of that First Interstate property, at least not now. The State of Montana still owns that land. They will not receive any money from Mr. Dandy because the sale is voided. Mr. Dandy will not receive any access to that land because he does not own it. Governor Emerson, please raise your hand to signify that you were at the meeting and that you accept the conclusion."

....

"Thank you, Governor. A number of transactions occurred prior to the sale of the land. Those transactions must be voided because they were enacted on the presumption that the parties would receive pecuniary gain. Mr. Dandy received $600,000 from the sale of his copter business and his company #345666. That $600,000 has to be returned to him. The lady on the dais in the aboriginal ceremonial clothes is the representative of the numbered company funding that purchase of Mr. Dandy' copter and insurance assets. She won't tell me her name, but she says that she goes by the name _Granny_. Mrs. Granny, please raise your hand to signify that you were at the meeting and that you accept the conclusion."

....

"Thank you. Mr. Dandy received $200,000 for a home mortgage from the First Interstate Bank in Missoula. Legally, that mortgage never happened. Consequently, the Missoula bank does not hold any title whatsoever on Mr. Dandy's home and property. Furthermore, Mr. Dandy must return the $200,000 that he received to the bank. Representing that bank is Mr. Mel Morley. Mr. Morley please raise your hand to signify that you were at the meeting and that you accept the conclusion. As mentioned before, Mr. Dandy has agreed to this ruling."

The man dressed in banker clothes, raised his hand.

"Thank you, Mr. Morley. The man who presently controls all this money is Captain Jackson. Captain, where is the money that you recovered from Wittleston's copter?"

"It is safely stored and I'm not telling you where."

"Good answer, Captain. As part of the meeting, you received instruction from Governor Emerson to return the $600,000 and the $200,000 to the rightful owners. Governor Emerson and Captain Jenkins, please raise your hands to signify that you were at the meeting and accept the legal requirement to return that money."

...

"Thank you, Gentlemen. As the innocent victim of Mr. Harold T. Wittleston's thievery, Mr. Dandy will not suffer financially from any of these rulings. He continues to own the company #345666. He has proven to me that he was the owner prior to these legal difficulties by opening a page of the company books. That company was involved in insurance and there is no reason that he shouldn't continue to manage that business. His home is no longer mortgaged, so he benefits from that to the tune of $200,000. We will now take questions. Yes, Miss."

"I'm Molly Moonblossom. You can call me Molly. Governor Stookenhap, why are you here? You were not involved in any of these transactions."

"Well Molly, as I explained to Mr. Dandy who asked the same question, I came because Governor Emerson and I are good friends. We are going to discuss some economic ideas that I've been kicking around tomorrow. I came early, simple as that."

"A follow up question for Captain Jackson?"

"I'll take the question from Ms. Moonblossom."

"Captain, I've heard that Wittleston's copter held much more money than the $800,000 that has been discussed here. How much money was that and what will happen to it?"

"What you heard is true. The copter held $500,000 more than what Mr. Dandy has shown that he owned. That surplus is stored in a secure location. Mr. Dandy has sworn that he doesn't know anything about this money. He has suggested that the money was stolen prior to the break in at his home. We are trying to ascertain the rightful owner, but so far, nobody has come forward. I suspect that nobody will come forward because the owner obtained that money illegally. Before I release the money to some claimant, I will conduct a complete investigation into how that money was acquired. I suspect that the owner doesn't want to face that. In the event that nobody claims the money and be able to prove that he acquired it legally, I will be conferring with Mr. McKenzie and Governor Emerson about what should happen to that money."

### # # # # # # # #

_[Narrator: This concludes the portion of Melissa's operation that involved a number of afterlife entities who participated in her operation without her knowledge. During the planning process for this part of the Jim Dandy operation, Winnie indicated to Melissa from time to time that she would handle certain tasks, but never did say how she was going to do that. Melissa didn't care. She was very focused on planning for Dandy's ultimate punishment. Since so much of what he did was not against any law, she had to be very inventive, as you are beginning to glimpse. Winnie knew that Cowboy also had to be kept out of the loop and so she never told anybody who bled mortal blood what and how she was accomplishing. Cowboy knew about Molly Moonblossom and her colleague Fanny Fandigity, but otherwise he was diligently pursuing and following leads that came to his attention. As my readers know, Cowboy doesn't quit once he's on somebody's trail._

_So, you may now consider that Winnie's operation is over and she has just called: CUT, PRINT, AND ROLL CREDITS._

_Arthur appeared in this performance as Harold T. Wittleston, both in Billings and in Helena._

_Meghan did not have a speaking part, but enjoyed looting Dandy's vault and especially ripping the door off. She also found another secret stash. More about that later._

_Paula played the parts of various witnesses who reported sightings of something that never happened. No copter flew dangerously above the streets of Billings, so there couldn't be any witnesses. Wytlss' city copter was stashed in a thick cluster of trees outside of Helena after he purportedly rushed off to Hell._

_Sir Galahad was the lawyer from Hell who had a horned head. He was instrumental in ensuring the Dandy claimed no knowledge of the $500,000 that had been in his vault beforehand. That meant that, even though Stu gave Dandy his companies back, Dandy was $500,000 poorer and could do nothing to restore his two companies to profitability._

_Maddy had a role in Winnie's production as well. She visited Meifeng in Helena and told her what she was supposed to do and say when a man with a thin moustache appeared in her father's restaurant._

_So, Jim Dandy is back to where he started. He has two companies that he can't fix and he is poorer by $500,000. But he hasn't paid for what he did yet when he owned those companies. Melissa's operation is over with the $500,000 grab. It's Cowboy's turn now._

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 39

Monday, February 2, Cowboy was back in front of the reporters on Jim Dandy's lawn. "Cowboy, do you have any further news about what's going to happen with all of that money."

"Well Molly, I'm giving the owner of that money lots of time to declare his ownership. Folks, I'll be meeting with Mr. Dandy this morning to ask him some questions about his numbered company, #345666. Now that it's been established as his insurance company, I thought I should learn a little more about it."

"Who is that with you?" another reporter asked.

"This is Maddy, my ward. She was curious about how insurance companies work. It's a topic that she has to cover in her home schooling."

"Take your daughter to work day?"

"Sort of. I'll be back to tell you how my meeting with Mr. Dandy went shortly."

### # # # # # # # #

"Did you learn lot about insurance, Cowboy?"

"I did, Molly. I learned how insurance companies work in principle. I learned that Mr. Dandy has a statewide monopoly on insurance and that is because of his management skills. Mr. Dandy didn't like to brag, but he did spend considerable time explaining how insurance companies can fail due to unexpected claims and over extended firms. He said that was the nature of the business."

"Maddy, how did you like 'take your daughter to work day'?"

"It was kind of boring. Plus, Mr. Dandy kept staring at me after Cowboy explained who I was. I didn't like that. Cowboy, we have to get to Riverside soon."

"Yes, we do. Maddy is finished with home schooling and will be registering in Riverside for the second semester. Folks, Mr. Dandy has expressed some unhappiness about all of you trampling over his lawn and gardens. Why don't you come to the police station for your briefings from now on? I can tell you that I will be spending today and tomorrow looking for information on the insurance companies that used to operate in Billings. I'll have a daily briefing from now on at 4 pm starting tomorrow. That way, you can report on the progress of the case on the evening news. I told Mr. Dandy what I was planning to do. He'll probably be interested in hearing about the progress of the investigation too."

### # # # # # # # #

Wednesday, February 4, outside the Billings police station at 4 pm.

"Folks, I don't have a lot to say today. I can tell you that I was successful in finding the names of many of the insurance companies that used to operate in Montana. I plan on interviewing as many of the owners and employees of those firms that I can. Of course, anything that they tell me will be kept in strict confidence as per the protocols that must be observed in criminal investigations."

"Cowboy does that mean that Jim Dandy has committed crimes on these people?"

"Well Molly, I didn't say that, did I? I'm simply reassuring anybody who talks with me that their comments will be confidential and not released unless they give their permission. I believe that would be reassuring if anybody might be reluctant to share. For those people who used to be in the Montana insurance business, if you wish for me to interview you on the successes or failures that you and your company encountered, I have established a private tip line. Phone or message 406-000-0000."

### # # # # # # # #

Thursday, February 5, outside the Billings police station at 4 pm.

"Folks, the first day of the tip line was hugely successful. I don't believe I could have found so many people wanting to talk about their problems running an insurance company in Montana with my usual investigative techniques. You media have had a role in this by attending these briefings and reporting them. I have a number of tips that will take me to Arizona and New Mexico. I'll give my next briefing on Monday."

"Mr. Dandy!"

"Mr. Dandy!"

"Mr. Dandy!"

"Well, look who it is. Jimbo, would you care to comment?"

"I certainly do care to comment. The insurance business is a tough business. Some people fail at it. However, because they can't admit that they weren't good enough to succeed, their minds have to protect their fragile egos by fabricating lies. They actually believe those lies. But those lies would be considered slander or libel if they were repeated publicly."

"Jimbo, one of my deputies will be by this evening with a court order to seize the books of your numbered company, #345666."

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 40

### **Would you want to be a hardware store owner in Montana?**

###

### **An exposé on the hardware business in Montana**

###

### **by Molly Moonblossom with help from Fanny Fandigity**

###

### **Sunday, February 8, 2093**

Something is happening in Montana that is downright frightening if you're a hardware store owner.

Our investigation into the hardware business began with a series of rumors that we heard that Montana's hardware owners were experiencing unusual challenges. They would wake to find graffiti on their store, but not on any other buildings in town. Their store windows would be broken in the middle of the night. Again, they were the only citizens affected. One owner had his copter stolen. Another owner's house was broken into in the middle of the night but the owner scared him away with a shotgun. Another owner found that an intruder had been in his house and had assaulted his young daughter.

These provocations occurred in small towns around the state. Sheriffs of those towns could find no evidence that the intruder or intruders were local. The towns were peaceful. But because these incidents were happening around the state, nobody noticed that only hardware owners were being targeted. Since my colleague and I were researching only hardware store owners, the pattern became obvious to us.

The assault on the young girl was horrific, but the girl thought that she had been dreaming and forgot all about it. However, one Montana hardware store owner had another experience that drove their family out of the state and indeed, out of the country. This owner had a thriving business in a large city. He had received numerous inquiries from another businessman about selling his business, but declined to do so. When he received an envelope that contained a picture of his wife without any clothes on, the family sold the store and left as quickly as they could. The intention of that envelope was clear. Sell, or this picture will be circulated.

My colleague, Fanny, was able to get a full account of this woman's ordeal. She told us the name of the competitor. We believe that the intention of the competitor was to drive all the hardware store owners out of business except for one owner who would enjoy a monopoly. We are continuing to investigate. Stay tuned.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 41

Monday, February 9 outside the Billings Police Station at 4 pm. Cowboy is ready to address the reporters that were now overwhelming the space provided for his reports.

"Folks, it has been a very fruitful three days for me. My out of state visits reminded me of an old adage. _A picture is worth a thousand words._ If Mr. Dandy were here, I'd ask him if he believed that adage. Some people certainly do. In fact, some insurance people keep pictures. For sentimental reasons, I suppose."

"I found Ms. Moonblossom's exposé very interesting. I will be meeting with her tomorrow and we'll compare notes.

"Mr. Dandy, the police that you see outside your residence are there to ensure that you don't take a sudden holiday. Stay inside your house, Mr. Dandy."

### # # # # # # # #

Tuesday's briefing was switched to Government House. Cowboy strode to the mic while Governor Emerson sat in the sole chair on the dais. The room was packed.

"Folks, this will be my final briefing on the incidents arising out of the vault robbery at Mr. Jim Dandy's residence on Wednesday, January 28."

"My office confiscated the books of Mr. Dandy's company #345666 on Friday. I passed those books on to two graduates of the University of Toronto's program on forensic accounting. They were able to conclude conclusively that the $500,000 that was mysteriously inside the stolen copter did belong to Mr. Dandy. He had denied that vehemently, but he was lying. The forensic accountants also determined that this numbered company owned all of Mr. Dandy's insurance assets. He did have a monopoly of all of the insurance companies in the state. The accountants also determined multiple instances of price gouging."

"In discussion with Ms. Moonblossom, and with information that I had gathered from my interviews with former insurance company owners and staff, I was able to observe that Mr. Dandy had used the same repugnant tactics on the state's insurance company owners as he was doing with Montana's hardware store owners. Ms. Moonblossom had enough evidence to name Mr. Dandy as the perpetrator, but chose not to disclose that until I had completed my investigation. Those tactics included using pictures of family members without clothes on to pressure the owners to sell the business. Dandy did not know that one owner's wife kept the picture she had received.

'

"When we found Mr. Wittleston's copter with all of his stolen loot, we also found a folder of pornographic pictures. _[As found by Meghan.]_ We have no idea why Wittleston would have taken that file. We did not disclose that information to the public. In the course of the investigation, I was able to obtain Mr. Dandy's fingerprints. Our forensics team compared those fingerprints with the fingerprints on the pictures in the folders and they were a perfect match. In that folder was a copy of the picture that one owner's wife had showed Ms. Moonblossom. This tied him directly to the insurance scam and to the hardware scam."

"I wanted to serve an arrest warrant on Mr. Dandy last night but was unable to do that. The judge ruled that Mr. Dandy had not broken any Montana law. I knew that already. In giving these daily briefings, I was hoping to reveal the type of man that Jim Dandy was to Montana citizens. If I did that, I could at least stop what he was doing."

"Last night, Mr. Dandy, his wife, and his three children fled the state in their family copter. My deputies were prepared for that and followed him to the state line, at which point, we had to turn back. This concludes my last briefing."

### # # # # # # # #

Governor Emerson was at the podium. Cowboy was gone, his duty performed.

"Captain Jackson was correct that Montana has no laws that we could apply to Mr. Dandy's business tactics. Like all western states, we are just coming out of the rough and intermittent justice that prevailed after the US federal government and its federal crime institutions disappeared as part of the destruction brought to our state by the quake of 48 and climate change. We now have laws in effect that allow us to address crimes of violence. We do not have laws addressing soft crimes, or what one would call 'white collar' crimes. My government will address this lack of coverage in this sitting."

"As to the harsh impact on Dandy's victims. The government has Dandy's $500,000 that he will not be claiming. Dandy has also abandoned his house that is worth at least $400,000. In time, the government can acquire that house. In my talks with Governor Stookenhap of Colorado, he has demonstrated to me how his policies to encourage economic diversification are paying dividends. Montana is unduly dependent on our beef industry. My government will be establishing an economic development fund similar to Colorado's with Dandy's money. Our first priority will be to invite former insurance owners, former copter sales owners, and former hardware store owners to apply for a grant that can compensate them for the pain and suffering they endured because of Mr. Dandy plus an interest free loan to re-establish their businesses. The two forensic accountants that unlocked Dandy's books have agreed to administer that fund. Both of them have experience in running various businesses."

"This completes my briefing."

### # # # # # # # #

Wrapping up a loose end.

Meifeng Li received a reward from Governor Emerson and a signed certificate of appreciation from the governor for her initiative in helping to catch Jim Dandy. She also received a grant from the government when she and Maddy were able to convince the female forensic accountant that Dandy had victimized her. Meifeng returned to Billings and, with her new found wealth, she purchased the shuttered Chinese restaurant that her father used to own. Coach Lee from the baseball team translated the documents that Meifeng had received and told her father, in no uncertain Chinese words, that a pervert had victimized Meifeng. She had not sent out nude selfies. Meifeng's father agreed to leave Helena and return to Billings. Meifeng hired him to be her cook. As part of qualifying for that job, she stipulated that he had to learn some English.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Chapter 42

"This will be my last operation for a while," Kashmira said as she left her kneeling position over Jim Dandy's face and joined the other Nemeses outside the courtroom. "I could be pregnant and I don't want my baby hearing me singing this way."

"If we have to be outside the courtroom when you're singing, your baby could be harmed as well. You can't take the chance of your singing affecting the baby," Cassie agreed.

"We've finished with the worst of Reem's contacts," Doc said. "We can take a break for a while.

### # # # # # # # #

Sunday, February 14.

Reese was shaving in front of a battered mirror when he heard a tap-tap on the stone wall that served as his almost-a-door.

"Are you in there, Reese?" a female voice said.

"Winnie? Is that you?" he asked and sauntered to the cave entrance washing the soap off his face.

"No. It's me."

"Fanny!"

Fanny was wearing a pair of dark green slip-ons, a loose fitting green skirt in the same color as her shoes, and a light green t-shirt. The red tint of her hair went perfectly with her clothes as did the red colored fingernails.

"You gave me your GPS. I thought I'd visit you. Do you mind?"

"No." Reese opened his arms and they had a little hug.

Fanny put her hand to his face. "I like your face this way. You look very handsome."

"Well, I don't know about that. At least the food doesn't get stuck in the beard."

Fanny shook her head to remove that visual image. "Where are these lights you were talking about?"

"The other side of the cave. We have about an hour before they disappear."

...

"I see why you wouldn't want to leave this cave. Can we lie down on something and look at them? I've had a long day."

"Sure. I'll bring my pad and sleeping bag over."

...

"It's quite narrow."

"Yeah. You go ahead and lie down. I'll stand."

"I bet we could squeeze together and both of us could relax."

"That wouldn't be right. I'd be touching you."

"I'll grit my teeth."

"We could put the sleeping bag between us, I guess."

"Sure if that's what you want."

....

"It's becoming quite warm in here, Reese. Do we need this sleeping bag between us?"

"I suppose not."

"If you put your left arm around me, I could cuddle closer to you."

Reese was feeling daring. He decided to try it.

...

"This is nice, Reese."

"I haven't seen the lights so bright before."

"I should tell you this. My name, Fanny Fandigity, is my newspaper name. We use a fake newspaper name so that we don't get hassled by angry readers. My real name is Karita."

"That's a nice name. I like it better than Fanny."

"Me too."

....

"I'm still a little warm," Karita said and sat up. "Did you know that today is Valentine's Day?"

"I don't keep track of days much," Reese said and closed his eyes in happy un-solitude.

"I brought you a present," Karita announced.

"What did you bring me?" Reese said and opened his eyes.

Karita grabbed the hem of her light green t-shirt and peeled it off. "I brought you me. **Happy Valentine's Day."**

### # # # # # # # #

The next morning, Reese was kissing Karita goodbye. She had to return to her work. That kiss developed some legs. While they're kissing, allow me to remind you that Reese had kissed Fanny before in the back of a murky diner. Then, they had hugged at the edge of a dark cave. This time, they were kissing in bright daylight.

Back to our couple.

...

Still kissing.

...

And still kissing.

...

Reese, ever the gentleman, kissed with his eyes closed. Then, as he pulled away, he opened them and looked in fondness at Karita's face.

"I don't believe it. Why does this happen to me?"

"What?"

"I've had sex with an extraterrestrial!"

"What?"

"I DON'T WANT THIS MEMORY WIPED," he yelled into the sky.

The sky didn't say anything in reply.

Back to the Table of Contents

# Books in the Wilizy series

As of July 2020, the Wilizy series contained twenty-five novels as listed below.

**Book #1: I Got'cha**

If you think being a teenager in today's world is tough, try being one in 2081. In Alberta's It's Only Fair society, your brain-band will zap you just for chewing with your mouth open. One boy pried his brain-band off to see what living with emotions would be like. Being chased by the entire Alberta army was bad enough. It became worse when another 15 year old kid offered to help him escape.

**Book #2: The Get-Even Bird**

Will and Izzy are forced to flee from Zzyk's army. After months away from Alberta, they fly their sailing ship into B.C. thinking that they would be safe there. Bad mistake! Izzy is captured. All Will has to do to save her life is turn himself in for a free brain-band fitting appointment. That's what happens when you wear a Zorro costume to a dance.

**Book #3: Assassination Day**

A DPS technician offers to defect if the Wilizy will rescue his daughter from _The Citadel_ – some super smart military people who are friends with Zzyk. Izzy thinks that their new recruit is an assassin, but Yollie insists that he's a decent man. Can assassins be decent men? It will take a hair-raising experience to find out.

**Book #4: Hoist the Jolly Lucas**

It's bad enough that Zzyk pins the blame for two assassinations on Izzy and launches a full out assault on their home compound. But then, another enemy takes advantage of a security lapse to get revenge for a war that happened 20 years ago. The Wilizy are left reeling with two key members kidnapped and stashed where they can't be found, let alone rescued. For the family to survive, everybody must enter the battle. The story is as much about the past as it is about the present.

**Book #5: Teenage Mutant Ninja Torpedoes** (Yes, this is a Wilizy book.)

Mac disappears and doesn't want to be found. Will and Wolf use time-travel to search for her and discover secrets she wouldn't want them to know. The Alaskans attack when Will is finding out what happens to a submarine's air when it is lying helpless on the ocean floor. Between the Alaskans' impenetrable fortress and their bubblegum weapons, life is going to get a little sticky for the Wilizy.

**Book #6: Bob, the Invisible Dragon**

Raging hormones as well as Raging Gardeners play key roles when young Wilizy warriors are attacked and the Wilizy's scientific marvels offer no protection. The youngsters' future will rely on a different kind of warrior protecting them. Warning: events at the end of the story will move quickly. They certainly won't _drag on_.

**Book #7: Nary, Nary, Quite Contrary**

Theo and Lucas move to Toronto to live on their own. Both meet girls but neither is brave enough to introduce his new friend to the family. They wouldn't have the time anyway, what with villains trying to assassinate them and Voodoo royalty greeting them as though they were Voodoo gods. At the end of the story, Lucas receives a surprise Boxing Day gift that leaves him speechless.

**Book #8: Maddy's a Baddy**

Maddy had escaped from Big Momma only to find herself all alone in the cold and begging for food in Eastern Canada. While she's trying to return to her home in Seattle, the Wilizy have their own problems. Everybody in the family is intent on bringing the judge to justice for what he did to Lucas. It would have been so easy for them to rescue Maddy, but they didn't know anything about her.

**Book #9: Bite Me!**

Spurred on by Marie's desire to eat a meal with her former slave masters, the Wilizy plan to put Safe Haven ranches out of business. In the process, they encounter two foreign assassins intent on abducting Maddy. Theo and Nary become closer but a red-eyed chaperone does not approve. The Wilizy's war with Safe Haven starts with a bang but ends with a whimper.

**Book #10: Wheelchair Moccasins!**

A 13 year old girl pretends to turn to prostitution to gain her freedom from her crime boss father. In Wilizy family news, Winnie agrees not to meddle in Mathias' love life. No, the world isn't ending, so long as you don't have a green vegetable for your name. Best advice ever? If somebody wearing moccasins and sitting in a wheelchair offers to sing you to sleep... run!

**Book #11: Trial by Nick**

After the Scandinavians attack their home base, Winnie develops an idea for defeating Crown Prince Wilhelm that is a dramatic departure from their normal military battles. In their personal lives, the Toronto teenagers have to become schnobs to keep their basketball futures alive, Lucas and Lylah begin dating, and two of EmmaGee's personalities leave her body.

**Book #12. Tickled Pink**

A man uses his unlimited wealth and power to assault women without fear of legal consequences. If they object, he'll humiliate them publicly and ruin their lives. If they don't stand up to him, their lives as they knew them will be over. But how do you fight a man who is above the law? Here's how. The Raging Gardeners help the women while Winnie attacks him where he isn't looking.

**Book #13: Second Base**

Granny and Doc enjoy a spirited life in their new Australian house while Bean has to adjust to her mother joining her in the Wilizy cadet camp. She meets a charming man with country pumpkin witticisms whose entire life is dedicated to becoming a cold blooded killer. Meanwhile, Safe Haven's impenetrable offices aren't as safe as they thought they were.

**Book #14: Old Stone Face**

Bean moves to Toronto with her sheriff who takes a job as a private detective. Before long, he's trying to bring a mad scientist to justice - the same man that Winnie is after. With both the Wilizy and a countrified sheriff after the same man, you'd think he'd be easy to catch. Too bad there are no laws about a mad scientist killing twenty-one babies.

**Book #15: Remember the Halocracy**

Reese finds Annika - his first, and only, girl friend. For reasons that nobody fully understands, he sort of kidnaps her but she willingly accompanies him to the far side of globe. Reese figures out later that she could be trying to seduce him when in fact, she's actually going to try to kill him.

**Book #16: Coffee Can Kill Ya!**

Convincing Paula's brother to give her a proper share of her parents' estate had seemed so easy. Turned out that it wasn't so easy after all. In the Wilizy's defense, murdering extra-terrestrials that tried to kidnap a corpse created unique challenges. To their credit, the Wilizy dealt with those. But, how do you deal with something that you can't see and don't even know exists?

**Book #17: Nice Birthday Party, Governor.**

Plot twists abound as the Wilizy take on the Colorado government and the NORAD military simultaneously. Maddy quits the cadet corp to run a secret operation that ends in a one-on-one battle. Melissa breaks Reese out of jail and Cowboy shows his dramatic talents, which do not include stripping. Winnie directs two dramatic productions but only one of these involves wearing respectable clothes.

**Book #18: The Tale of the Scorpion's Tail**

The Wilizy have to neutralize NORAD's nuclear missiles while defeating their air force without causing any casualties. A special weapon (guided bird poop) will be needed. Meanwhile, Heaven's guardian angels are under attack from within. The key to success? Rescuing a gerbil imprisoned in an escape-proof cage. "Molly Moonblossom" and "Nympho Maniac" play key roles. One of these actors is Winnie.

**Book #19: Brunhilda, the Steamroller.**

Billy Bump resurfaces and plans Maddy's death. Winnie accepts a secret mission but runs afoul of Yolanda, who is sure that she has a boyfriend. Yolanda's vision that Winnie will be attacked comes true. Demonic infiltrators into Heaven escape detection when the steamroller named Brunhilda prosecutes Arthur and finds him guilty. This time, he won't be going back to guardian angel school.

**Book #20: Lock Up Your Corn Starch!**

While Paula, Winnie and Arthur are on a perilous mission for Heaven, the Wilizy family is trying to rescue Charlie and Sheila from prison. Wilizy forces battle demented escaped convicts intent on slaughtering innocent victims to help a brown supremacist politician win an election. If you're intent on going to Hell when you die, be sure to read this book for a preview of what's waiting for you.

**Book #21: The Champion Kisser**

Melissa's Operation Beef Jerky, featuring pragmatic momma cows and flying unbranded calves, goes after a stinky justice. In Hell, Winnie has to deal with a dead pharmacist and an asparagus-shaped devil geek in her operation against the perfume-toting, hog-riding Rat. On her side is a pussy tat named Santa Claws and a junk food eating canary that has a fatal encounter with a loaded frying pan.

**Book #22: Black Cats: Lucky or Unlucky?**

Strange characters abound in this story. You'll meet a woman named Fido, a purple gnome, a mining gal that can make a cowhand vibrate, a safe-cracking masked marauder, a stinker bell, a high wire gymnast afraid of height, three hench-devils, and a devil wearing an Elizabethan ebony doublet, complete with raven black satin breeches and a heart shaped codpiece. Oh yeah. There's also a black cat.

**Book #23: Morgana Foils the Duke's Plans**

In Book #23, you'll meet a zesty Zulu goddess who pulls a spear of gold out of a lake bed. An angel named Prudence has a potty mouth. A dolphin in the Cops of the Cosmos arranges for Heaven to invade Hell. Queen Guinevere meets Sir Galahad, Sir Lance Lott, and Sir Launchalot, one of whom is not gallant. The perfume toting Morgana wields a devilish weapon of mass olfaction.

**Book #24: Who Painted Lord Percy?**

Book #24 asks the question: Who Painted Lord Percy? The suspects include: a dead man who hunts perverts, a condom buying female angel, the devil named Gold Pinkies, a cherry pie barfing angel, a mortal resigned to joining The Borg's beehive, a skinny-dipping ghost, a devil named Adolf Hitler, an angel who can't pucker up to kiss, and the angels who protected Christopher Columbus.

**Book #25: Happy Valentine's Day**

Maddy is kidnapped by a witless devil named Pig Snout who stashes her in a retail outlet in Hell. With the help of Molly Moonblossom and Fanny Fandigity, the Wilizy bring a bullying businessman to justice and do it in a dandy way. Reese enjoys Valentine's Day in a way he never expected. A new hero emerges from the Wilizy's past. It will be nigh impossible for readers to guess who she is.

Back to the Table of Contents

# About the Author

David J. Wighton is a retired educator who enjoys writing youth novels when he's not on a basketball court coaching middle-school girls. The books in his Wilizy series peek at how people lived after the word's governments collapsed in the chaos that followed the catastrophic rise in ocean levels and the disappearance of the world's last deposits of oil.

Wighton's novels have strong teenage characters driving the plot and facing challenges that, in many respects, are no different from what teenagers face today. His novels are intended to entertain and readers will find adventure, romance, suspense, humour, a strong focus on family, plus a touch of whimsy. Wighton also writes to provoke a little thought about life in today's societies and what the future might bring. Teachers may find the series useful in the classroom and the novels are priced with that intent in mind.

Back to the Table of Contents

