 
### Random Stories and Dilemma of an Old Man

### *****

### By Hiranya Borah

### Copyright 2018 Hiranya Borah

### Smashwords Edition

### Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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### Preface

It is a privilege to publish another book by me on inspirational stories. The overwhelming response for my earlier books gave me the courage to publish this book. This book is somewhat different from the earlier ones on the same topic, though the intrinsic thoughts are remain same.

Most of the stories, except few, are based on my personal experiences or personal experiences of my close relatives, friends or acquaintances. However, intentionally, I have changed the names of the characters along with the situations to honour the privacy of the people involved. Themes of some sub-stories are borrowed from other publications as well which are duly acknowledged and rewritten in my own language. Further, since there are some adult contents, though those are considerably toned down, I recommend that no youngsters below 18 years of age should read it.

While writing all my books, a lot of friends helped me through their active suggestions and encouragements. My family members are constant inspiration in my endeavors for writing a better book. This book, comparatively, is written in a more structured way, compared to other books on the same theme though personally, I always want to write something following unstructured way.

My elder daughter, Anusuya provided financial assistance to print my earlier books.

As usual, I am thankful to my wife, Monalisha, my son Ayusman and my younger daughter, Anwesha for their sacrifice by allowing me to be busy in writing, when I should have spent my time with them. Further, Anwesha became my honorary publicity manager since the first book was published. My spiritual daughters, Avneet and Deepika are constantly supporting in my endeavors of writing something. I am also thankful to all my colleagues of ISS fraternity for their encouragement and criticism on my writings.

Last but not the least, I am always thankful for the readers and Smashwords for their constant support.

Author

### Chapter 1: How to avoid self-destruction

I got a tragic message from a friend that one of my classmates, Abhinav Dutta died yesterday due to liver Cirrhosis.

A few years back, under a similar condition another friend Janardan Hazarika committed suicide.

Another classmate, Mayur Arora also died in a road accident when he was heavily drunk.

The ex-boyfriend of one of my cousins, Varun Upadhya also died at an age of forty due to heavy depression.

What is the common factor which is instrumental for all these deaths? All are drunkard. Why they became drunkard? Because, all of them were depressed. Why all of them were depressed? Because, all of them were less successful compared to their peers or their own expectations/potentials. Were they from same field? No. Then?

Abhinav was a very good singer cum actor in his school and college days. During our pre-university days (Class-XI and Class XII, he was always surrounded by his fans, both boys and girls. Many girls were after him and naturally, we were envious about him. A few years back, I met him at Guwahati while attending a marriage of a common acquaintance. He looked to be a dejected man with uncontrolled hair and long not properly maintained beard. I hardly recognized him. On asking, why he was looked so depressed, he narrated his side of the story.

With so much potential, he thought he could prosper either in the field of music or in the field of acting, even if he would ignore his normal courses of the college he was attending at that time. In the process, he could not do well in his Twelfth Examination and could not get admission into any medical/engineering college. Even he could not get admission in our Cotton College where we studied our pre-university course. He tried to get an admission into our college by availing a seat from cultural quota. But he failed to get it because another candidate who was actually less talented than him, but was a son of an influential person, got admission as it was offered the seat to him which was earmarked for cultural quota. Abhinav's father, who happens to be a village school teacher, could not digest the academic performance of his son, did not send his son to another less reputed college located at Guwahati, where he could have gotten a seat and forced him to study in a local college for his under graduate course. In due course of time, he got a job in a local bank affiliated to a nationalized bank of India. He stopped singing after leaving Cotton College culminating a disastrous Class-XII result. However, occasionally he used to do some acting assignment in a local drama team. Afterwards, he got married to a lady, whom probably, in his hay days, he would not allow her to come within 10 metres near to him. Frustration took over him completely in a year or two after his marriage and started drinking heavily. Slowly he became a notorious drunkard, even small boys used to recognize him as 'Sharabi /madahi (drunkard) Abhinav uncle. Finally, he died with lot of pain in his chest, physically and emotionally, at an age of 39.

Janardan another my classmate with a humble background, was not only a very good arm-wrestler but also a very good guitarist. No doubt, he was also a heart-throb for many of the girls of our time. However, he was in love with a very beautiful singer from a rich family. Their love affairs ended in tragic note when the girl preferred to marry a well-settled boy chosen by her rich parent. Janardan tried his best to show a brave face about the incident. With the help of the certificate, representing India in arm-wrestling competition, he got a job in a nationalized bank as a clerk. I met him many times during my stay at Guwahati and afterwards during my visit to Guwahati from my present posting at Delhi. He always complains about his professional life and he deliberately avoided to say anything about his personal life. He did not marry till the age of 35 and finally married to a half educated girl from a remote village of Assam. After ten years of marriage, one day he committed suicide. After his death only many things came to light from the close friend circle around him. He used to take drugs after the break up with the singer. After his marriage, he used to beat up his wife on the slightest pretext and always compare with the singer. He had a son, whom he never loved as his own son. He was not good in his office work either. He confides with his close friends that, had he married the singer, he would have done justice to his enormous (?) potential and so on.

Mayur was a doctor by profession. He became a doctor as his father wished so. He did not have the guts to tell his father that he wanted to be a cricketer. He liked the white pullovers normally worn by test cricketers than the white over coats worn by the surgeons. Naturally, he could not shine as doctor as the other fellow doctors. As suggested by his father, he married to another doctor, who was a daughter of his father's friend. Though she is a nice lady, she did not like his attitude towards his profession. In due course of time, his wife became a successful gynecologist and that frustrated Mayur further. The more his wife became busy, the more his frustration grew. One cold night when Mayur was returning from a party, his car met a fatal accident. Mayur did not die instantly, he was alive till he met his wife to tell that his father had spoiled four lives, one of his own, his wife's life and the lives of his two children by imposing his will on Mayur all the time. But he did not admit that it is his lack of courage to tell his father about his liking and disliking had actually spoiled all these lives. Moreover, once he became a father, he could have changed his track for a better future with renewed zeal.

Now finally, let me tell the story of Varun. There was a failed love story between my cousin and Varun. My cousin was from a small village and Varun was from a reputed family of Guwahati. Varun's mother was a social worker and very assertive on family matters. As soon as she came to know about their affairs, he confronted my cousin and warned her of dire consequences if she would continue her love affairs with her (mother of Varun) son. Separately, she also scolded Varun reminding his family status. Though, my cousin wanted to continue her affairs with Varun, Varun took the advice of his mother and ditched the poor girl. Though he broke her heart, he could not break her spirit. In due course of time, she became a lecturer in a Government college, married to a Government officer, blessed with two children contrary to Varun who had to join as an assistant programmer of All India Radio. Once, when I went for a radio interview, I met Varun in the studio who unwillingly said hello to me. I asked my colleague, what was his rank, he sarcastically told, 'He is a worthless son of a worthy father.'

Further the officer added, "He (Varun) used to tell everybody that he is from a reputed family and even some of his present bosses would not have dared to enter his premises when his father was alive. Once when he boasted this sentence to a young direct recruit officer, he retorted, 'Are you actual son of Mr.... or an adopted one from some slums?' That ensued a heated long argument till a senior officer warned Varun of dire consequences for arguing with a senior and advised him to face the reality and stop living in a fools' paradise."

Afterwards, I came to know that in his family life also he could not be a happy man as his mother could not find a good match for him from a good family and had to settle for a lady who was not as beautiful nor as educated as my cousin. Unfortunately, the wife of Varun could not conceive also and Varun's life became a real mess. Finally, he also lost his life at a young age out of cheer depression.

Who are responsible for all these untimely deaths? I need not have to give any answer. You can analyze better than I do.

These may not be real stories: but situations and circumstances may be real and you may find these characters around you at any time. Unknowingly you may also behave like Mayur's father or Varun's mother. Worst, you may be, one of those who are actually well on course of self-destruction forgetting that someone is there who really loves you and many of your near and dears are dependent on you not only financially but emotionally also. Therefore, you please revisit your actions in the light of the stories written above.

I got some strong reviews on this article from some of my esteemed readers. I am reproducing those which may enlighten us to tackle these types of problems if any of us or any of our near and dear ones faces any of the problem (s).

Tarun Basu (In verbatim):

Borah, I went through all the stories. Well written. I think all are victims of circumstances. My suggestion is that we should now shed our inhibition about psychological counselling periodically. There will be problems and conflicts in modern life. We should embrace them with courage and conviction. When that does not happen, professional help needs to be taken without inhibition. Life is too beautiful to dissipate like the characters u mentioned. Adverse situations are bound to come in anybody's life. They exist to test our endurance and instinct for survival. And circumventing such patches, we all move forward. Uttisthata jagrata. That is my message to all tormented souls.

Dipanjali Talukdar (In verbatim):

Couldn't stop reading once I started-however a few thoughts came to my mind –if Abhinav could have been guided/forced to study for cl XII boards n not allowed to concentrate on singing/acting would his life have been different or would he still have been frustrated for not being able to pursue what he thought he was gud at? Then what if Mayur had been left to follow his dream of becoming a cricketer n he didn't become a successful one would his father have felt that he should have been persuaded to follow a conventional course like everybody else n would Mayur also have felt the same? Thanks for the lovely stories n these r all real life situations!

Kokila Goswami (In verbatim):

You are depicting well the stories around us. Yes, these are the true stories happening regularly in our surrounding. Parents, that of like Mayur's, are very common, who want to impose their wishes on their wards. Nice write up. Thanks

### Chapter 2: History never Changes

When I visited Guwahati recently, I met my old friend Kanak at his residence. As both of his sons were staying outside India for the last two years, with his wife he is residing in a four bedroom luxurious bunglow. It is really a beautiful duplex house, which can be seen from a long distance. It was around 5 O'clock in the evening and his wife, Manashi was making herself ready for a marriage party of a relative. She gave us tea and excused herself for leaving for the marriage party. I also wanted to leave but Kanak told me that he was not going to attend the party as he had to attend another official party at the same time, hosted by his boss. Since he was not accompanying his wife and his party time was around 8 in the evening, he requested me to sit with him for some more time.

After his wife left, he offered me a peg of whiskey and started unfolding a new chapter of his life, which was never shared with me earlier. His story goes like this.

It was a Sarswati puja function in a remote small village of Assam, in 1975 that had changed the course of life of Kanak. At that time he was only 13 year old. He was a lousy boy, but very intelligent and extremely physically fit and healthy. Function was going on at a very lethargic speed; there was a long gap between performances of one item to the other one. During the intermediate period, Kanak noticed, a pair of beautiful eyes were hovering over his face. He felt a sensation, hitherto he had never experienced. That was, for him, love at first sight. However, Kanak was not sure, whether same feeling was experienced by the unknown girl. From, that day onwards, he started loving the unknown girl and naturally he was anxious to know about the girl. After a month or so he was able to know the name of the girl, Aatri, an unconventional name for a remote village of Assam. However, Kanak liked it, and whenever he was alone, he used to murmur, 'I love you, Aatri. I can't live in this world without you.' But Kanak never made any a fantasy of any intimate relation with the girl.

Months came and went, but Kanak could not muster the courage to talk to his lady love. The love story went on without any concrete result. Finally the D came after two years. Kanak met Aatri in a marriage ceremony of a common acquaintance.

By the time Kanak was 15 year old and appeared for the HSLC examination. Aatri also became a blooming girl of 14 and ready to mingle. But Kanak hit a road block as he was told that Aatri had been in love with somebody else. It was a devastating news for Kanak. But Kanak had a lion's instinct, if it is not readily available and if it belongs to someone else, snatch it from the person forcefully/tactfully, whoever he might be. He promised to himself, that heart of Aatri must be won over and she must be with him within the next couple of years. It was a tall promise for him, mainly for two reasons: first, Kanak was not a very attractive boy, but Aatri was extremely beautiful. Secondly, financial condition of Kanak was not very good compared to Aatri and the other boy. Despite of these two major drawbacks, Kanak was hopeful, because of his confidence in his intelligence and oratory skill.

Time passed and exactly after two years, on the New Year's Day, he got a positive response from Aatri. She sent a New Year's greetings card to him with the most beautiful sentence 'I love you. Do you?' Unfortunately, problem also started from that day onwards.

Aatri's father was a classmate of Kanak's father. Though Kanak's father was more intelligent, at least so far academic results are concerned, due to some differences between some powerful lobbies in the locality, his father was economically not very sound comparatively Aatri's father. Therefore, Aatri's father looked down upon Kanak's father and grandmother of Aatri was also all the way disrespectful of Kanak's family. Kanak's family is also not very keen about the blooming relation between Kanak and Aatri. Kanak's mother warned him several times about fidelity of the girls of that family, as they traditionally leave their lovers and marry someone else selected by their parents.

But somehow, their love affairs lingered on for few years. But when Kanak came out of Assam and started his academic career at Delhi he was attracted to another beautiful girl. The girl did not respond to his proposal, but somehow the girl's indomitable attraction became the first thaw in Kanak's relation with Aatri.

During his vacation, when he visited Aatri's home, he was misbehaved by her father and some derogatory comments were passed by her grandmother. He did not retaliated then and there, but after reaching Delhi he severed his relation with Aatri forever.

After few months, Aatri was married to a person known to Kanak's family (but personally unknown to Kanak), who was much older than Aatri. Exactly one year after Aatri's marriage Kanak also got married to a better looking girl from a better family. No, not with that Delhi girl, though their love affairs also blossomed upto some extent afterwards. The Delhi girl also got married to someone else who was completely unknown to Kanak.

For Kanak, love affairs are like public city buses. Neither they will wait for you, nor will you get none if you miss some of them. In Kanak's life also, girls were coming and going like buses those are plying in a large city.

Time passed like an arrow for him. In the meantime, Kanak climbed to a very high position in his career in the Government of Assam. He earned a name for himself. Money, power and reputation, all came to him in the last 28 years like waves of a sea. He has been blessed with two brilliant sons. Both of them passed out from two different reputed engineering colleges and they also joined services in reputed organizations. His wife maintains a very good physique till now. She is also good manager, both at family front and at the social front. Kanak always thanks his stars for having such a beautiful and efficient wife in Manashi.

But history repeats itself once again.

Kanak's elder son, Priyangshu is presently working in an IT firm located in Ireland. A few months back, he sent a photograph of a young lady, with a caption, 'She is Bobita-your daughter in law-to be'. The girl is also working with his son as an IT engineer. They fell in love with each other on their first meeting. One thing intrigued Kanak that, the girl has a very familiar face for Kanak. But Kanak could not recollect, where he met this girl. Neither, Kanak nor his wife objected to the affairs, as they thought, at least his son opted for a girl whose parents are residing in Assam. Kanak asked his son to send the address of her parents along with the phone numbers so that he could contact the parents of the girl.

After getting the phone number, Kanak telephoned the father of the girl. Instead of a cordial response from the other side, he got a rude answer, 'You, son of a swine, how dare you to ask my daughter's hand for that rascal. Tell that bastard, we shall better die but will not allow her to marry that bastard.'

Kanak could not understand why the father of that girl was so rude and refused to marry his daughter to his son.

Kanak, after digesting the humiliation, after an hour or so, he telephoned to his son to ask him to sever his relation with that girl. But his son's reply was more shocking. 'I know he (Bobita's father) will oppose to our marriage. May be, you would have also opposed. That is why we got married two months back after we got to know that Bobita is carrying my child in her womb. Further, you might be aware that law of Ireland does not allow any abortion.'

For a moment Kanak could not find a question or an answer what his son is saying. After a few seconds, Kanak murmured, 'why?'

'In the eyes of their family, you are the culprit for parting with your relation with my mother in law. You ditched my mom in law when you were in the university. My Father in law always suspected the character of my mother in law. There were lot of fights which Bobita had witnessed during her childhood. Bobita has an elder sister, who is yet to be married. That might have also fuelled his anger when you telephoned.'

Kanak hung the telephone for few minutes. He recalled good 28 years ago when he overheard Aatri's grandmother was yelling to Aatri's mother, 'If you give your daughter's hand to that bastard, I shall commit suicide.' Kanak pondered, 'Nothing has changed, except, now a days boys and girls are smarter than our times.' Next moment, he thought, 'Can I discuss the matter with my wife or not? How she will react? I have never mentioned about my first love during the last 28 years of our married life. What Aatri was suffering for the last 28 years, will my wife suffer rest of my life? Already in the eyes of my son and daughter in law, I became a villain. But can I blame me for everything, what had happened at that time or today? Was it not true that Aatri's family humiliated me many times before the final break up? Should I not react, Aatri's grandmother uttered something derogatory about my father and my family?'

So far Kanak has not discussed the matter with anybody except me. His wife is in a very good mood for the last few months after knowing that his son is going to marry an Assamese girl even after staying in foreign soil for more than two years.

I saw in the dim light, Kanak's pale face asking for some consolation from me!

I also could not paste any balm of consolation to Kanak's wound. I do not know why Kanak did not say something on caste system prevailing in Assam, which had an over-riding bearings of the mindset of Aatri's grandmother. He probably did not want to say that why the grandmother of Aatri had objected to his affair to her granddaughter. As I understand her main objection was that he was from a lower caste and at that time he was not selected for a high post of Government of Assam.

Being from the same state, I know about the caste system of Assam. Apparently, like in some other states of India, there is no strong caste system in Assam. Even, Assam can boast of having a clean slate on honour killing. But in Assam, there is very strong covert caste system which always prevents inter caste marriages or at least, inter-caste marriages are not encouraged at all.

However, in another way also Assam is unique so far caste system is concerned, in other North Indian States, girls are not married to other castes, particularly, it is complete 'no-no' for a lower caste boy. In Assam, it is just opposite, parents seldom object marriages of their daughters to a lower caste boy, if he has a very good job. On the other hand, they do not want to allow their sons to marry girls from lower castes. Is it not a diametrically opposite mass social thinking within the same country, following exactly the same caste system?

No, I do not have any concrete solution to the problem Kanak had faced nor to the problem of the ailing Indian societies riddled with caste, creed and religion for thousands of years.

### Chapter 3: Mayank and Kanak

Mayank is Kanak's friend from his University days. Recently, Kanak met Mayank a few days back in an official function organized by another Ministry. During the recess, they had a hearty talk. By nature, Mayank is a jolly person and during his University days, he was surrounded by friends, both boys and girls. Now he is a senior officer in an MNC and still keeps his jovial mood all along. Kanak was always envious about Mayank's proximity to beautiful girls of their classes and beyond.

As, it may happen to anybody, Kanak is disturbed recently due to some family problems. His one of the cousin's husband is apparently developing some relations with another lady of her office. As usual, matter came to a mess when his cousin suspected her husband without any concrete evidence. Many family members from both sides were involved themselves unwittingly and in the process, whole problem had manifested into manifolds. As his cousin is known to Mayank, Kanak told Mayank about the plight of the young lady.

Mayank asked Kanak, 'Are sure that your brother in law has an illicit relation with someone else? I mean, any concrete proof?'

'Probably, no. The whole suspicion is based on some hearsay and visual proximity of the lady with my brother in law. Actually, problem started when some of our relatives informed my cousin about the girl whom they claimed to see in a secluded place holding each other's hands. Without verifying the facts, the young lady confronted her husband and that snowballed the whole issue.'

'Initially, my brother in law was defensive, but now he is very much offensive and ready to divorce my cousin. Now, without a job, she will be in a thick soup if he divorces her. Those relatives who fuelled the fire, now backed out. Even, those relatives who informed the poor girl that they saw her husband with the other lady backtracked and say that they actually had not seen him holding hands, but somebody else (imaginary distant relatives) saw them. (Moral of the story: Do not jump to a conclusion unless facts are verified at your personal level.)

'I do not know about your brother in law's character or attitude towards other ladies in general, and about this lady, in particular. But, I can share my own experience with a similar type of situation.' The following paragraphs are synopsis what Mayank told to Kanak with spices and chilies.

A few months back, Mayank was informed by a trusted friend (a lady) that Ms. X had said something very much objectionable about him. His friend initially hesitated to tell him what opinion had been made by her, in Mayank's absence. However, when insisted, his friend hesitantly told that the lady, in front of many other ladies, told that Mayank is a womanizer. He is nothing but a loose character etc. etc. When Mayank's friend asked her, had ever, Mayank misbehaved with her, she replied, 'He does not have that guts to touch me.' Then, Mayank's friend asked her, 'Have you seen anything objectionable with any lady by your own eyes.' 'No, I have not seen anything personally, but I heard many things from some reliable sources. Further, from his body language, whenever, he is talking with some ladies, I can make out his intention, character etc.'

Many ladies present there, objected to the comments made by Ms. X. She was told categorically, such type of comments, in his absence, is not warranted and that too on the basis of hearsay. After not getting any support from other ladies, she left the place with a huff, but not before commenting, 'You are also part of that group, who likes to flirt with him.' (Moral of the story: If you do not agree with some one's views, you may also be un-necessarily accused by the aggrieved party without any valid reasons)

After, hearing from his friend about the comments made by Ms. X, Mayank recalled another incidence, thirty years back when he was in the University as a Master degree student.

During his holiday, his sister who joined the erstwhile college during that period asked him, 'Dada, do you know Saghamitra Das?'

'I know three Sanghamitra Das, one was my classmate, who left college in the midway due to her marriage, one was one year junior to us who sings very well and third one was the sister of one of my classmates.' Mayank told.

'I am talking about the third one. She claims before me that, you proposed her, when you were the Secretary of the Students Union and she snubbed.'

'If she claims, that must be correct.' Mayank answered with a mysterious smile.

'No Dada, you are hiding something!'

'The girl actually sent a New Year Greetings card to me by using a pseudo name. I could not recognize the girl for a long time. In the meantime, I developed a relation with someone else. However, that relation also did not last long and unfortunately, the girl with whom I developed a relation happened to be her best friend. I cannot say why Sanghamitra cooked up the story and told particularly to you. So far I am concerned, I am sorry for the other girl with whom I had to break up. But hearing from you, now I have full sympathy for the young lady (Sanghamitra) also. I think, she might have also a strong feeling for me, which, she could not express explicitly.' Mayank concluded.

It happens with many persons. What he or she feels for someone, if it is not reciprocated, he or she does not want to digest it and try to create a falsehood surrounding him/her, where he/she continues to live in.

In the present case, should Mayank come to a conclusion that this lady (Ms.X) has also a crush on him! But at this age? (Moral of the story: Nobody is sure, who loves you and who does not).

After Mayank finished his own experiences, Kanak obliquely asked, 'Do you want to say that, you do not have any relationship outside your wedlock?'

'I have not said that. But what I said is that, though I may be surrounded by ladies, I maintain different relation with different ladies and I never cross the Lakshman rekha, except few exceptional occasions. You must know with whom I crossed the Laxman Rekha?'

Then he said, 'After few days of that reporting, I did the most unthinkable thing in my life. When I was in my chamber alone and the lady, Ms. X came for an official work, I grabbed her and placed a kiss on her lips. To my utter surprise, she reciprocated with equal intensity. In the last three months, the lady had slept with me more than seven times!'

After a pause, he said again, 'Further, if I say, a girl is like my sister, I mean it. I not only treat her as my sister, but I may also go up to any extent to do a brother's duties and sacrifice anything for her. That may the reason why a girl/lady believes me and take anything at my face value. Further, I always respect their decisions.' Mayank told to Kanak.

Kanak retorted, 'Ok, Ok! I do not want to hear any self-praise from you. But I want to know about those exceptional cases, you have mentioned.'

'Why? Do not worry! The exceptional cases do not involve any known person to you. Still do you want to know?' Mayank smiled in a mysterious way. Then he narrated his story.

Mayank was attending a meeting in a southern city of India. In the meeting, he met a lady from the marketing division of his own organization. She was around forty years of age at that time, having two teenaged kids. Mayank met her for the first time and immediately developed a liking for her. After the meeting, the lady told Mayank to accompany her to the shopping plaza which was very near to the hotel, where Mayank was staying. After shopping, when the lady wanted to refresh, Mayank offered his key of his room. But the lady refused to go to his room and instead she used the wash room attached to the hotel lobby. Mayank appreciated her decision and he went to his room for taking a bath and came down to the lobby and escorted the lady to a nearby restaurant for the dinner. During dinner they have a lot of talking about their families and friends. After dinner, the lady requested Mayank to drop her at her hotel which Mayank happily agreed. They took a taxi to the hotel. Inside the taxi, Mayank put a hand on her shoulder which she did not object. Though, distance between the hotels was only five kilometers, the taxi took around one long hour due to traffic jam and during that traffic jam, chemistry between the two started working.

After reaching the hotel, Mayank requested the lady, if she would mind if they go for another stroll. The lady glanced to Mayank for a while and agreed and said, 'Let me change my dress and please sit at the lobby.'

Mayank waited for the lady anxiously and finally she did come with a beautiful dress. They went out of the hotel and walked aimlessly holding each other's hands. People on the road already became thinner and Mayank became bolder and bolder. He touched the face of the lady. But the lady strongly objected to that and admonished Mayank for his behavior. Mayank thought everything was over. But to his surprise, the lady did not tell Mayank to curtail the walk. On the other hand, they went further end of the street. At the end of the street, there was a wall with a height of about five feet, which was high enough to obstruct the vision of the lady. Mayank saw a very beautiful statue inside the compound. Mayank gave a description of the statue which the lady liked, but felt sorry for not seeing it. At this, Mayank told the lady, 'If you don't mind I can pick you up to see that!'

That sentence changed the whole world for them. The lady landed a kiss on the lips of Mayank. After some initial resistance from the lady, they went to the hotel of Mayank and stayed overnight. On the next day, Mayank stayed with her in her hotel. (Moral of the story: Be prepare for a windfall at anytime, anywhere and enjoy it and do not repent for those beautiful moments of life.)

After finishing the story, Manyank said, 'That is one of the only occasion when I pursued a lady and later on, the lady admitted that she was convinced by one sentence of mine, if you want to enjoy your life, for once, you have to forget your family and you have to discard the idea to sacrifice your wishes for the sake of your family, each and every time.'

'But you have ditched your family and those ladies also ditched their spouses, I mean husbands. Is not it?' Kanak contended.

'You can see the facts from two different angles. If you see from moral point of view, yes it is not a good thing what we are doing. But if you see, 'chance and tide will not wait for any one' point of view, we did the right thing. It is your choice, which way, you want to go/see. Both ways are correct for some people or otherwise. So far I am concerned, I am fulfilling all the obligations of my family faithfully, and all of them are also doing in the same way. So far that south Indian lady is concerned, still we are keeping contacts with each other and still we are having healthy relation. We may not meet again in our life time, but we love each other without any physical or mental contamination. By the way, do you know the story of Mr. XXX, the honest and pious person who died at the age of eighty with all contentment of life?'

(Moral of the story: If you see a telescope from the opposite side, objects are seen as if they are further away from the original place. Therefore, one should see it from the proper side).

'What is the story?' Kanak asked.

'This is a published story in a book by a different author. However, it is twisted somewhat for suiting local environment.' Mayank started his new story.

"Mr. XXX, as already said, died at the ripe age of eighty leaving behind his 75 year old wife and two sons and a host of relatives. After his death, he had to face the officer in charge of the souls who decides which soul has to be sent where, what will be the duties of the soul for next hundred years etc. on the basis of dossier submitted by the escorting officer of the soul. Two souls were standing before Mr. XXX. The Officer in charge, delivered verdict for the first soul, Mr.Y, 'as you had cheated your wife once and had done few other bad things in your life, you have to supervise the work of the next soul after you. You will be provided a normal jeep without hood to protect you from rain and scorching sun. If jeep breaks down, you will be given a mechanic to fix the problems. You will be given a body of forty years to perform your duties. Your body will be of same resemblance with the body of your body which you have to abandon most recently. You have to wait for few minutes to perform your duties till your subordinate is assigned his duties.

Turning to the person (soul) just in front of him, the Officer in charge started his lecture on him, 'Mr. Z, you rascal, you have enjoyed your life at the cost of others. You had cheated your wife, neighbors, friends and relatives all the time. You had not spared even your best friend. Now you have to pay for it. You are assigned the duties of the garbage collector. You will be provided with all the equipment of garbage collection from the streets down the line. You will be provided with an old truck which may be broken down at any time. You have to fix it and clear the garbage day and night. Any small deviation will attract immediate punishment. Punishment ranges from five lashes to cutting off limbs etc. But do not worry, limbs will grow instantly, but pain will continue for many days depending upon the degree of punishment. For all these assigned works you will be given a body of fifty year old resembling to your recent body.'

Finally he spoke to Mr.XXX, 'O my dear soul of honesty, goodness, faithfulness and piousness, you are most welcome to our state of souls. You had cooked for your family, gave all good education to your children, loved your wife unconditionally, and never even thought of cheating your wife. On the other hand, you used to take your family to the restaurant over the weekends. Now it is our duty to serve you. You will get a body similar to that of your 25 year old body free of all ailments for the next 100 years. We shall provide you a luxury car with a colour which is yet to be introduced on your earth. The car will never break down for the next hundred years, filled with gas for the next hundred years and no limit to go to anywhere. Be happy here as long you want and take any service from these two rascals without any return service whenever you want. Whenever, you stop your car and think about these two rascals, they will be there.'

The moment he finished his speech, a beautiful car, never seen on the earth, appeared before the saintly man. Mr. XXX entered the car and car started moving.

Five year passed. Mr. Y and Mr. Z were passing their time with lot of difficulties. Particularly, Mr. Z has to pass everyday with one or other punishment. He wants to die but death cannot come to a soul. One day, Mr. Y and Mr. Z got a signal, to report Mr. XXX. They appeared before Mr. XXX in no time. They saw, Mr. XXX was weeping like a kid. They were surprised to see him crying. On persistent query, the rascal got the answer from Mr. XXX, 'A few minutes ago I saw my wife was driving a truck, similar to that of Mr. Z.' He again started weeping.' For the first time in the state of souls, two rascals laughed heartily. But the pious man interrupted, 'I am not crying, because my wife cheated me, but because I loved her and now she is suffering, may be because of my fault!' (Moral of the story: Do not lead yourself to a position from where you cannot return back.)

'Do you want to say that a good man like Mr. XXX is always cheated by his wife and friends?' Kanak asked.

'Not necessarily. But, being honest is not enough to live in this world. One should be vigilant about his surroundings so that he is not fooled by others.' Mayank quipped.

'Though I respect the feeling and broad heart of the saintly man, at least, I shall not prefer to drive a luxury car when, my wife will be driving a truck in the state of souls!' Mayank laughed like a villain in a Hindi film.

Though Kanak could not find a solution to the problem faced by her cousin, a different kind of doubt engulfed him!

He asked to himself, whether Ms. X is correct regarding character of Mayank? Somehow, he was not convinced with the self-certification of Mayank. Does Mayank indicating that, Kanak is expected to drive a Luxury car whereas his wife will drive a truck in the state of souls?

A wild thought came to Kanka's mind. Priyanka, Kanak's wife is also always in praise for Mayank! Is it just a praise for a husband's friend or something else!

The more he thought, the more he was puzzled. Finally, when he lost his conscience, he could not remember. But, when he regained his conscious, he saw, Mayank was talking to a beautiful lady doctor, probably she was the attending doctor of Kanak.

### Chapter 4: A Letter of Wisdom

I got this letter from a friend when my daughter got CGPS-10 in class-XII examination few years ago. I found the letter extremely enlightening and that is why I included the letter in my book.

Dear Hiranya,

Let me congratulate your lovely daughter, Karishma for her result in Class-X final examination. Euphoria of the result may have little died down after one week or so. That is the reason why I am writing this letter today instead of writing on the very day of the declaration of the result. My younger daughter, Parinita also got CGPS-10 in the Class-X examination this year. As a father I am very happy about her result, but it gives me a worrying point as well.

In the year, 2008 my elder daughter, Tina topped the class X examination from her school, Pmxy, Ranchi along with the All India highest mark in SST. You may find her name on the school notice board, if it is already not removed, if you visit the corridor of the school. When she was in Class XI, I was transferred to Delhi, and I could not bring my family that year. My son, Dirghanu who was two year junior to her appeared for Class X in the year 2010 and she also appeared for class XII in the same year. Unfortunately, both could not do very well in the examinations in that year. Son got 86% and daughter got only 79%. Drastic fall in result of my daughter is due to lack of focus and getting lack of logistic support, otherwise which I would have given to her. That was a learning lesson for all of us.

My family was shifted to Delhi in the year 2010 and all of us pulled up our socks. As a result, my daughter stood second with 84% marks in graduation from Delhi University and passed out her Masters from another reputed University with a gold medal. Now she is holding a good post in a reputed MNC.

My son, apparently, who did not do well (compared to her sister) in Class-X, improved three percent in Class XII (89%) and studied Engineering, worked abroad before he joined his master's course in a reputed University of USA.

Why I am writing all these to you? Because, whatever you are feeling about your daughter today, I felt it few years back and I got a jolt after two years. I am writing with a sincere intention that you should not get a similar experience. I am not the first person who gets this type of experience in life; similar experiences are faced by many of my friends, juniors and seniors over the time. That is the reason, why I am writing this letter to you.

I apologize, if I hurt your sentiment by giving so many explanations in one go. Being senior to you in age, I am giving this lecture- may be totally uncalled for.

Once again, please convey my best wishes to your lovely daughter for her success in her life.

### Chapter 5: Relative Money

In 1979, when I was travelling by a red ASTC bus, I saw an old lady was clutching a worn-out bag like a young mother keeps her newborn baby in her arms. Despite of repeated request by the conductor to place it at the overhead luggage box behind her seat, she did not leave the bag till she got down from the bus. Being a young boy, I was surprised to see that scene, as most of us, having better suitcases, might be having more valuable articles than those inside the tattered bag of the old lady. It took many years to understand the intricacy of the truth behind the scene of clutching that worn bag of the old lady.

It is a case of relative importance of a particular article or a bunch of articles for a particular person vis a vis with others. In that particular case, the contents in the bag might be quite substantial amount of her savings/ property whereas, costly things in our bags quite negligible of our savings/properties. We always give importance to any of our belongings according to their relative value compared to our other belongings.

In 2008, my daughter lost a bracelet of my wife, gifted by her mother, while attending a marriage, which I could not attend. My wife got very upset and scolded my daughter right and left. My brother in law informed the incident over telephone with a request not to scold my daughter. I took it very lightly considering its price /design and manufacturing material. It ensued a long debate with my wife who accused me that I am not sensitive enough to understand the emotional value of the bracelet which was given by her mother (obviously not by my mother). She may be right, I might have reacted differently, had it been gifted by my late mother.

Change of purchasing power of money over time is a fact nobody can deny. But change of relative value of an article is more important for an individual than the actual depreciation or appreciation of the product in the real market.

Let me narrate an incident of my childhood. During Puja festival, I asked my father to give me char-anna (quarter of a rupee). But my father thought I was asking for char takka (Rs.4/-). After a good scolding, (what I would do with such a huge amount of Rs.4/-?), he gave me Re.1/-. For me it was like reaching heaven without even climbing. What was the value of that Re.1? It may be Rs.100/- today-may be little more or little less. But even if somebody gives me Rs.1000/- today, I may not be as happy as I was on that particular day. Because relative value of that particular rupee may be of a crore today, may be even more than a crore for me.

Now, I can understand the relative value of that worn-out bag for that old lady; it might be equivalent to a few thousand for me, few lakhs for some of my friends and few crore for a millionaire (of course in dollar terms) and few millions for a billionaire.

How the memory of the old lady came to my mind recently? There is a news item which says that NGT has decided to get rid of all old vehicles of 15 year or more, from Delhi. This news is heartbreaking for many of us due to different reasons; from financial to emotional. The news item has been accepted by my family with mixed reactions-my younger daughter is very happy with the obvious reasons to have a new car, my wife is neither happy nor unhappy, but somewhat concerned. And what about me?

I am happy that I can drive my old Rampiyari for another one year and three months. So day before yesterday, I changed my seat covers to give a surprise to my truncated family. Unfortunately it became a surprise for me only. Reaction from my wife was mute and my daughter's reaction was, 'Why you have changed the seat covers (sic), you could have kept for another one year (already kept for last fourteen years), in any case you have to change your car after one year!'

None had appreciated, as their relative expectation was much higher than that of mine. I am happy that my family has higher visions than mine. I am happy that, both of them are coming from better financial backgrounds than mine; but still happier as they are accommodating me in their dreams as an integral part!

(This article was originally written in 2014)

### Chapter 6: Do you have an answer?

Few years back, when I was waiting at a lobby of a five star hotel for my guest from Afganistan, Deputy Minister of Culture and Education, I saw a familiar face. But I could not recall immediately, who he might be. His face resembles with one of my class mates, Ravi, whom I could not expect in a five star hotel. When we were at school, he used to stand up on the bench before our teachers ordered, knowing fully well that even if a single student was to be punished, Ravi must be the one. He was not only bad in his studies, but also bad in his behaviour towards the teachers and senior students. He was much older than most of us. He had only one good quality, he was very much considerate to the younger classmates, in general and extremely considerate to me. To become extreme considerate to me had a very strong reason - he used to copy my home works without using any mind to it. One day he copied my father's name as his and got a good thrashing from our class teacher. But somehow, he was my classmate for good six years, which means he managed to pass the annual examination by hook or by crook.

After, leaving my school, we rarely meet each other as I left my hometown after my schooling. Last time, I met him after joining to my service in 1991 at a tea stall when I visited my hometown. He commented about my service that, 'Now, you will be able to attest certificates.' At that time, I was told that, he had started his business in a modest way.

After 20 years, I was thinking about him, due to his face resembles with this particular gentleman!

But to my utter surprise that gentleman shouted at me, 'Hi Hiranya, how are you?' Before I could answer, he told, 'I am sure, you have not expected me in a five star hotel!'

'No, it is not like that (I was lying). I have not met you for a long time and you have gained a lot of weight.' I tried to explain.

'Everybody is giving this explanation. But I know, nobody expects my meteoric rise to this level.' I did not respond to his remark. Simply I asked him, why he was in the hotel, was it a business trip or something else.

He was on a semi business and semi social trip to Delhi. Now he is in the export-import business of coal and steel. Though he was not an extremist, but somehow he garnered lot of money during the turmoil period of Assam. He married to a daughter of a businessman of Guwahati and became close to a ruling party politician. His wind fall started in late Nineties and during that period he established a business empire of his own. Unfortunately, I was not aware of all these development due to my official posting outside my hometown for a long time.

He asked me about my career and my family and left with a departing comment, 'At our place, once many youngsters wanted to be like you and their parents also encouraged their children to be like you, but now, not only the children but also their parents cite my example as a successful person and advise their wards to follow my footsteps. Probably, none is interested to be like you; a technocrat, who seldom gets any recognition from the society, country, even from your own family members! He has to survive on his modest salary. He even does not have the means to buy a two bed room flat in a city without a bank loan. He cannot send his children to a good boarding school. He can give good advices in abundance, but nobody has ever given an ear to those. He waits for his monthly salary to foot the essential bills. As he cannot afford to pay tuition bills, tries to teach his children by himself at home and explains his children why coaching classes are not good for personality development. Even after his retirement, he cannot join politics and even if he joins, it will be disaster for him and his family. He may not get suitable match for his daughter or son due to very obvious economic reasons. He will never be made even a president of local Puja committee, as the next door clerk, of a good table (you know better), who can donate more than him (technocrat), has the right to become the President!

Sometimes, I take out my school mark-sheets, and observe that I never got more than 40% marks in any subject in any examination. I then compare your marks and thank God that I did not have mark-sheet like yours. Otherwise, I would have been a useless fellow like you, without money, without servant and without power!'

In a materialistic world, he may be 101% correct and therefore, I did not have an answer to his comments! Do you have?

Some Comments are received on this article. Few are placed (in verbatim)for readers:

**Pulakananda Bharali** : No answer from my side ....as I have the same question in my mind.

Dwipen Bhagawati Hiranyada - Given a choice, would you exchange your world with his?

Maniraj Adhikary A satisfied man can't prosper, and the flip side is - a dissatisfied man can't be happy... May be we are the satisfied lot!

Bhaskar Phukan Bhindew your friend has equated his achievement with happiness ...what he said before you is a kind of self-delusional justification of his material prosperity. Every individual is born with an urge for self-actualization. ..To see his dreams of doing something in life come true. When someone like Ravi achieves material prosperity by any means there is always a tendency to garner social recognition by involvement in various public causes. And also a constant self-assurance n justification of one's deeds. So in the actual sense man like Ravi are in a constant struggle with their own inner souls every moment of their lives. They are successful but not contended.

Pradeep Somani He earned his money by all means at his disposal. And he has no qualms about it. But deep inside he knows he was wrong all throughout. He is not the only one. There are thousands like him. I once met a very successful industrialist, whose son was good for nothing .To my question, if he was worried about his son, his reply was revealing.....There are thousand students studying in premier institutions, waiting to work under his good-for-nothing son, so no worries

Jagadish Mour No buyer for honesty & sincerity in this materialistic world, because success with these two is your example & perhaps without that is his example. This attitude & perception of life is very dangerous for younger generation.

Syeda Jebeen Shah It depends on what one calls success. One can't equate success with a fat bank balance, although there is nothing wrong in being wealthy. There are lot of wealthy people with empty inner lives, with no joy, no peace. I don't know enough to say about your friend; but if he can sleep peacefully at night, and he is a truly happy person, then he is successful. And if, you can sleep peacefully at night, you are successful. Should not compare different lifestyles.

Dipanjali Talukdar I actually can't think of an answer-but I think I fully endorse what Syeda Jebeen Shah has to say n of course three cheers to u for nice presentation n two cheers for ur successful friend!

Sanjiv Goswami I think Ravi is correct and may be happy. We have seen Bhagya Kalita too, another drop out, who is very rich. In fact most rich people like Dhirubhai Ambani have no education. Ratan Tata is just a graduate, or is he? Life is a philosophy to be lived It is your fault Hiranya Borah that you did not define that philosophy or what you want in life at an early stage. You studied hard, maintained morals and did a good job thinking it would bring prosperity and happiness because your parents and peers told you so. Deep inside you too wanted the same things Ravi wanted but you took a different path. But that path did not lead to your 'hidden' goals and now you are confused. It is like praying to God for material things and when we do not get (but the corrupt ones get), we get confused and lose faith in God.

### Chapter 7: A Prostitute and a Sister

I met this young girl, Namita in 2004 as an intern, when I was a middle level officer in my organization. At that time she was hardly 22 year and I was in my early forties. She was very beautiful and any eligible boy would have liked to fall in love with her. But she was more beautiful in her mind than her external beauty. She was ready to help anyone in the office in his/her not only in official works but also in personal works. She became darling of the entire office except her lady boss who did not like her helping attitude for one and all.

One day, she was in a very sad mood which was against her nature, always smiling and glowing. When I asked her, what was the matter, reluctantly, she told me that, on that day she lost her parent in a road accident few years back. That was a revelation for me. I could not imagine in my wildest dream that an ever charming girl had an extremely traumatic past. On my insistence, she told me that she lost her parent in a road accident, when she was in class eight and her brother, Varun was in class three. On that fateful day, her parent left both the children at home to meet their ailing grandfather, who was living at their ancestral house at Meerut. While coming by their Maruti car, hit a standing truck, which her father could not see due to heavy fog. Her mother died instantly, but her father, who was driving the car did not die immediately but succumbed to his injury after ten hours at a hospital at New Delhi. Before his death, he told Namita to look after her brother and told her to spend money judiciously and warned her not to believe any of their relatives as they might be after their property and money only. He named some friends and colleagues, where he worked to seek advice/help whenever she felt necessary for any advice.

As expected, though many of her relatives came forward to help them (with ulterior motives as predicted by her father), she did not take any help from them. She remembered the father's advice and believed the friends and colleagues of his father. Fortunately, her father's advice helped her to rely upon few of his friends and colleagues who actually helped them selflessly. That is the basic reason why she is always positive about office people.

Namita' maternal grandparent also died few years ago and Namita's mother being the only child, there was no close relative from mother's side. From father's side a number of close relatives were there, but once they came to know that they were not going to get any slice of money left behind by Namita's father, they vanished to the thin air. With family pension and gratuity money they (Namita and Varun) were financially comfortable. But they did not have any emotional support after the death of their grandfather who died after one year after death of Namita's parents.

Life was not very easy for the children. But due to inner strength of Namita, they were pulling their life steadily. In 2003, Namita completed her BA honours in English and her brother had been admitted into an Engineering college.

Even after completion of her internship she continued to keep contact with me through e-mail and over phone. Sometimes she visited our office, though it was very rare.

Over the time, we have developed a bond which is beyond our official relation. I started treating her as a lovely young sister of mine and she also took suggestions from me as if I am her elder brother.

Time passed very quickly. In the meantime she got a job in a Polish farm as an HR consultant and her brother also passed out from his college. Her brother was a brilliant boy and cleared his GRE with a very good score. Subsequently, he left for USA for his higher studies in 2009. Namita had to take a huge education loan for higher studies of her younger brother.

Everything was fine till 2010. But from 2010, Namita became untraceable for me. Whenever, I tried to contact her over phone, the mobile was switched off for the first few months and then somebody else had been allotted that number. When I tried to contact her through e-mail, emails were never responded except once wherein she requested me not to try to contact her. So I had stopped trying to contact her for the last three years. Though these developments hurt me, I could not blame her due to some unknown reasons. However, I was little worried about her wellbeing.

A few days back, I got a call from her, requesting me to spare some time on the next day for a lunch together. Though I was surprised to get the call from her, without showing any annoyance, I agreed to her proposal and decided to meet her over lunch at a particular restaurant.

In the next morning, when my wife was about to pack my lunch, I told her about our lunch programme, she was surprised and advised me not to over react to her and if she asks for some help, those should be acceded. Though my wife is a known miser, she was always very considerate to this girl knowing about her past.

Finally we met at our designated place. On seeing me she ran like a five year old girl towards me and embraced me tightly for a long time and tears rolled over her cheeks. I also could not stop my tears. After, controlling our emotions, we started our talk over our lunch.

In the last four years Namita had to travel through the hells. In 2010 due to recession, she had to lose her job. She had to spend all her savings while sending her brother to USA. She did not have any money to repayment of EMIs against the education loan. For not paying EMIs the burden was also going up and up. At one point of time she was in a position that she did not have sufficient money to meet the bare minimum needs of a young lady. I interrupt at this point, 'Why you did not approach me at that time? What about your brother, did not he get a job?'

'He did not get a job immediately after passing out from his college. However, now he has a job and somewhat settled. I did not tell you because, I know your liabilities at that time. How can I give more trouble to you, when you had already enough problems to handle! Moreover, it was not a problem for one day. I need a solution on a sustainable basis.' She explained.

Luckily she got a job in a local firm. Though the remuneration was not as good as the earlier one, yet it was enough to meet her needs. However, the salary was not enough for repayment of education loan which was piling up day by day. At first, they sent reminders for repayment and after that they sent goons to threaten her. Having threatened she discussed the matter with her employer to give a short term loan. The employer promised a loan and told her to meet after the office hours. Having no choice, she met the employer after office hours. The employer handed over her a packet of currency which could cover six months' EMI and additional interest levied for late payment. For a moment she thought that her employer was next to God, but her dream shattered at the very next moment, when he gave the most indecent proposal in her life. She resisted, but no one was there to help her. Initially she thought she will throw the packet of money to the employer and report to the police. But she thought that, it would not help her anyway.

The employer again approached her. This time, Namita negotiated the deal in her own terms.

She realized in a few months, a person who do not want to give a ten rupee note to a beggar, is ready to spend few thousand rupee for one/two hours only to be with her. Money started flow like a flood water. She was able to repay the entire loan amount before the scheduled time. Some time she had some guilty feeling, but on the next moment, she thinks, she has not cheated anybody, like her clients, who cheat their wives and family members. Her role is like a butcher, who kills animals, not for self-consumption but for his customers. If anybody commits any sin, it is not she, but her customers.

Life was running smoothly till she met Anup who is a young successful businessman from a rich family. He is married to a lady whom he never loves. Their unhappy relation leads in landing of Anup at Namita's doorstep. She took him also as a normal customer. But after two to three meetings, she realized that Anup is different from other customers. He heard her story and he became sympathetic to her. One day he told, 'I would have married you, but due to some business compulsion, I cannot divorce my wife. But if you want to come out of this dirty business, I may help you.' Initially Namita was apprehensive, but after last six months' courtship convinced Namita that proposal offered by Anup is genuine and honest.

Anup convinced Namita that so long she will be in India, she cannot come out of the life of a prostitute as her customers will never allow that. The society where we live always castigates the victim, not the perpetrators. Therefore, Namita has to be far away from this society. Her customers are so powerful that staying anywhere in India is not safe for her. Anup assured her to arrange a job for her outside India and after that, she will decide her future with or without Anup.

Last month Anup was able to arrange a job in England for her, may not be a very good one, but a decent one. She intends to leave India forever as suggested by Anup.

She is leaving India tonight, if possible forever. She is meeting me to say a final good bye today.

'Are you going to keep any contact with me?' I asked her.

'Yes, if I shall be able to lead a decent life there, I shall inform you time to time. Otherwise please think that your little sister is no more!' She replied with a sigh.

'I am not at all concerned about you, when you are not in trouble, for that matter when you will be in a decent job etc. But I shall be worried only when you are facing any trouble in your life. I shall be very happy, if you can lead your life as you are dreaming now. You need not have to be in contact with me when everything is fine. But, if you again fall into the trap of bad people, you please contact me, you will find your poor brother standing behind you.' I tried to stop my tears while speaking.

Before leaving me, she hugged me and cried like a little girl who was attending her school for the first time in her life and then she left. I looked at her till she disappeared behind the wall. I may not see her again in my life, but my love, best wishes and blessings will be always with her. She may be a prostitute for others, but for me, she will be remain my little lovely sister!

### Chapter 8: English Speaking

One of my friends from Assam (India), while on a visit to Delhi commented on my Hindi that I am still speaking Hindi in Assamese ascent. Earlier, another friend commented on my English that I am still speaking like a Gaoburha (village headman).

I am slow learner of any language. I was told that, I am not very proficient even in my own mother tongue Assamese. Still, at this age, I barely can read, write and speak in English, Assamese, Hindi, Sanskrit and Bengali. I barely can read and understand German, Nepali, Gujarati and Marathi. I barely can speak Nagamese. My knowledge limits to 'understanding only' in Punjabi, Bhojpuri, Dehati version of Jharkhandi, Barpetia and Nalbadia.

Many of friends complain that they do not understand what I use to say. But I am happy that I understand what they want to say, what they intend convey and most importantly, I can also read between the lines, what they are saying!

But yes, I still have a childhood dream that one day, I shall also be able to speak fluent English like my friends coming out of good English medium schools!

One thing, let me clarify, I have no grievance against my parent who could not afford to send me to a good English medium school. At least I can boast that I have read and still keeping in my mind the moral teachings given in our vernacular schools in my early years of education which is completely missing in the modern school education. However, I must admit, they can speak English very fluently.

In another chapter, I have written something which may be diametrically opposite what I aspire for. However, aspiration of my heart has nothing to with failure to win a heart by one of my friends who tried his luck through English speaking ability. So kindly do not link the story with my hidden aspiration of speaking English fluently.
**Chapter** **9: Misunderstanding**

A friend of mine confided to me something which I am going to share with you all with his tacit permission with a caveat not to disclose his name, organization he is working and the place he is working. Actually, he also wants your comments and advices to solve his problem.

He is around 50 and working in a reputed organization at higher level. He is known to me for the last three decades and I know him as a suave (not gaolia bhoot like me), impressive and with a very handsome personality. He is a father of two college going children and a husband of a very beautiful wife. I knew him as a successful man, a doting father and a doting husband. His wife is also a charming, but very dignified looking lady.

What he confided me is a shock for me. He was very faithful to his wife till he completed his eighteenth anniversary (he is going to complete 22 years of married life so far). According to him, his wife, who is very soft spoken to others, is actually very foul mouthed lady to her husband and children (I had verified this from his children and it has been confirmed). She is a very bad cook and worse house maker (this is also true). Despite of this, he tried his best to harmonize the marital chord upto the maximum. Though, he was suffering from within silently, he tried to adjust with her as much as possible. However, he was losing patience in fighting a losing battle.

Just after, completion of his 18th anniversary he had to visit a city which is infamous for its night clubs etc. In that tour, he met another old friend who took him to a place, which he never visited earlier.

After that visit, whenever he visited that city, he made a habit to visit those places. However, he never felt of doing any immoral things after visiting those places. Even after that, there was no immediate problem he had to face t the family front. However, slowly but steadily, he lost interest in his wife and avoided to talk to her. He stopped communicating with his wife except for those which he had no alternative but to inform in monologue form.

The problem started from the last two years, when he met a lady of his daughter's age, not very beautiful, but soft spoken and cares a lot about him. Initially he ignored that lady, but subsequently he also started liking her company.

'Where she is working?' I put this question, doubting that she might be working under him.

'She is working in my office, but not working under me.' He told me.

Now, I could understand, why, all of a sudden, he told me that, his wife is foul mouthed and he is not loved by his wife. However, most of the allegation he made, are correct considering the fact that, as I also noticed sometimes his wife retorted him without any provocation from his side. But whose wife does not do it?

'Are you sure she (his new love) loves you?' I asked him.

He said that he is sure about that. 'However, now we are friends only. Earlier also, we did not have any physical relation.

'Then where is the problem?' I asked him.

'Now the problem is, her sister informed about this relation (her driver saw me with the young lady, once we were coming out from a restaurant) and even after cleared my position, she does not believe me. She wants divorce from me. Further, whenever, I talked to any lady/girl she suspects me. She started hating me and says that she has tolerated enough.'

I understood helplessness in his voice.

'Now, she even suspects me with a young girl whom I treat as my own daughter.'

'What about your grown up children?'

'They are supporting me.'(Verified from the children, they are solidly behind their father. They also treat the young girl as their own elder sister only)

'She expects that I should give divorce her giving everything to her whatever I have, not even anything to the children so that she can restart her life.

'OK, what do you want from me?' I asked him.

'Convince my wife not to insist for a divorce.' He requested me with folded hands.

I said, I would try my best. I know, I can only request his wife to be more compassionate to him in future and should restart their life in a more matured manner with due respect for each other. I also can tell them that, they should sit together for some time and ponder where they went wrong. They should continue their life in such a way that their children should not suffer due to no fault of theirs.

In the mean time, I came know that, some of the relatives of his wife are also involved in inciting her. Therefore, his wife wants divorce and she does not want to reconcile.

I wrote the whole story in my FB post, so that, I may convey this message to his relatives (at least one of them is my face book friend) to help this couple to be united both physically and mentally, so that, their children do not face undue stress.

NB: I heard that they have reconciled after reading my FB post and the relative, who happens to be my face book friend, took a major role in reconciling the couple. They realized their own short-comings and I request all my readers to relook his/ her behaviour towards his/ her spouse, before divorcing him/ her. Unless you correct yourself, you are going to face the same problems in your new married life.

### Chapter 10: Want to be a God Father, Think Twice

When we were first taught probability, jokingly one of my senior students, explained, 'your father is your actual (biological) father and vice versa is a probability, whereas your mother is your actual mother is a certainty (provided you are not an adopted child)'.

A child may be living with his/her parents who may be his/her biological parents as well. Another child may be living with his/her adopted parents, may be with a single parent, may be with one or more of the relatives and so on and finally, may be living with none (street children). With whom they feel most secure/ insecure? With whom they are most pampered? These questions often come to my mind whenever I look at my own children. Socially, we say grandparents are the most pampering relatives and even some time, we complain that grandparents use to spoil children. When a child suffers most? Traditionally, it is said that, if a child has to stay with brother/sister of his/her father/mother, after demise of his/her parents, he/ she suffers most. But another group says that, a child has to suffer most, when he/she has to stay with a stepfather or with a step mother. Again age and sex of the child also matters. A girl child has to suffer more- at young age she may be subject to child abuse and from teen age, she may be a victim of sex abuse in the hands of relatives who are supposed to protect her. She has to be in constant glare of roving eyes of the males, may or may not be her relatives when she is an orphan. In any case, it is clear that, children are most comfortable/secure when they live with social and biological parents within a homogeneous group.

However, sometimes adopted parents are better than the biological parents. For that matter, even step father/ mother may be better than the actual father/ mother (in one of the story of Sherlock Homes, you will find how a step father took revenge against the killers of his step daughter, whom he always loved as his own daughter). If someone loves a person from the core of heart, he/she will also love his/ her spouse's child/ children as if he/ she (they) is (are) his/ her own child/ children. There are two most famous examples in our history/ mythology where two step mothers, who loved their step sons more than their own (at least equal), one was Kunti (step mother for Nakul and Shahdeva) and another was Mahadevi (step mother of Buddha). Similarly, best examples of adopted parents in mythology are parents of Bhagwan Shri Krishna and Mahavir Karna.

Being from a small village, we used to know almost all the families of our area. Even, in those circumstances, I took twenty years to know that, one of my class mates' elder brother was actually his step brother. I salute that mother.

But thanks to our writer community, step mothers are always shown in bad light without ever trying to understand/ projecting the psychology of a young woman, who without spending a single night with her husband, becomes mother of one or more children. That finer part of life is missing in most of the stories, where a step mother is painted as a 'vamp'. Time has already come to discuss about this aspect also constructively.

However, sometimes disturbing news force us a rethink about adopting children or remarriage of the widow/widower with child/ children. Recently, a famous person was accused by his famous step daughter for sexual abuse. This is really disturbing. However, I have come across many families where all three types of children (one is mine, one is yours and one is ours) live peacefully.

Now there are new breed of people who adopt children, despite of the fact that, they are having their own children. But, there are three distinct categories in these breeds of people. First Category: they want a glorified servant and so they get it by adopting a child from a poor family. They will got all household chores done by the child and then send him/her to a municipality school and boasting before friends, how great they are! They will never formalize the adoption legally and never allow them to have access to the family properties. Before describing the second category, let me go to the third category. These are most dedicated brand of people, who may be at par with Yosoda (mother of Shri Krishna) or the Radha (adopted mother of Karna).They are ready to sacrifice everything for their adopted children, they part with everything, they have and they are also legal guardians of their wards. I submit all my appreciations for them.

Now, let me describe the second category of these breeds. They are the latest induction to the Indian society. In the western society this category is officially recognized. They are termed as 'GOD FATHER/MOTHER'. Earlier, persons in this category, were not officially recognized, nor they were taken in the proper spirit. They were always referred by the disgruntled officials by saying, 'I am suffering, only because, I do not have a God father.' But now most of us realize the importance of a God Father in all the fields wherever we have to venture. Only a very few exceptional persons can go upto the top without a God Father/Mother, like climbing a rock without a rope. Of course, most of the top post holders claim that, they are self-made persons, though most of their peers, claim otherwise. But how many of us are getting a God Father/ mother in any field, forget about getting one in every field. But can we become God Father/Mother to someone (may be up to a limited extent), who deserve it badly due to economic/ social background?

But while you decide to become a godfather of a person, you have to study pros and cons about your decision. Whatever may be your intensions, being an elderly man, if you want to be godfather of a young lady, you must have the courage to face any criticism from your peers and her disgruntled peers who will try to tear you into pieces by assassinating your character, in front and at your back. If however, both of you are of same sex, then criticism may be ranging from financial corruption to keeping henchman to threaten your enemies.

Similarly, having a Godfather, is also not free from criticism. Many-a-times godfathers are requested by their prodigies, not to help him/ her openly to avoid criticism from their peers and avoid backlashes from other seniors/ powerful persons.

Therefore, even with the best of your intensions, think twice to become a godfather of someone you love. Am I discouraging you to become a Godfather? No. Actually I want you should become a Godfather to a deserving person and be bold to face any eventuality, particularly any criticism.

### Chapter 11: Missing ones family

A few months back, Kanak met me in a restaurant at Connaught Place. I was surprised to see him taking pizza, as he told many a times that, he does not like Pizza. After exchange of pleasantry, I asked him the reason for taking a pizza instead of any other dishes which are also available in that restaurant. After, a smile he replied, 'Today, my daughter has left for Bangalore to join an Engineering college (I knew his daughter had cleared 12th standard with flying colours). I did not accompany her as, perhaps, you might be aware that, my son has been working already there for the last two years, therefore, he has received her at the airport. I dropped her at the airport in the early morning to catch the first flight to Bangalore. Normally, as you know, I am a very worried man for my children, I was tense till my son informed me that she reached there. As my son is comfortable with the city, I am very happy that she got admission there.'

Even after his long lecture, I could not find the answer of taking pizza in this restaurant all alone. He understood my perplex expression and therefore answered, 'actually my daughter likes pizza very much like any other youngster and my wife is also not available with me for the last one week. She went to her mother's place on last Sunday.'

'So, you are enjoying your time!'

I asked him with a glee.

'Initially, yes. I feel all sorts of freedom for the last few days, though my better half passes order through her mobile quite frequently. But from today, I start feeling lonely. To overcome this loneliness, I am taking this Pizza as if, my daughter is nearby me.'

He had given a very strange but true explanation.

He again started talking. 'But, I am glad, my adopted daughter, comforted me telephonically and enquired about taking meals etc. after my younger daughter's departure to Bangalore. Life goes on like this! But daughter is a daughter, whether biological or adopted, whether she is with you or away, she always thinks for her father, taking into account about the inner feelings and smaller daily needs of her father, no matter, whether, she is nearby or far away. No, I am not condemning my only son by praising my daughters, he also thinks about us, but with a larger picture of life. He also enquire about us daily from his work place. I love all my children, like any other father, I miss them when they are away.' His voice choked with emotions. I comforted him by patting on his back. I stayed with him for the next one hour sharing another pizza. Normally I also do not like pizza. But on that day, I relished the pizza like any other my favourite dishes.

But after six months, I am feeling the same way, when I sent my daughter to Mumbai to meet her sister in my wife's absence. As my children are in different cities now, I am also feeling lonely at some point of time. However, I am always thankful to God that, so long at least one child (youngest one) is with us. As soon as younger daughter will be back after eight days and will fill the gap substantially. Now, for me, she is the better part of my daily life. When her mother is away, I have to give her more attention and I become busier catering her needs. But when she is away, I feel the void and emptiness around me! I love my family- I miss them when they are away!

I have also the same feeling what Kanak was feeling six months ago. Then I ponder how we can overcome this problem which psychologists term as ENS (Empty Nest Problem). The ENS has originated from the idea that once the baby birds become capable of flying, they leave the nest of their parents forever. So far human being are concerned, there is a possibility of coming back after completion of their studies. Earlier, the concept joint family was very much prevalent in India; but now it is going to be history only. Being a statistician by profession I calculated the probability of staying a person with his/ her parent in his/her parental house is less than 10%. Some of you may be interested how I came to this conclusion. Let us assume, I have constructed a house at my present place of posting. If my son is economically better off than I, he will construct a larger and better house for himself. If he is worse off, he will sell it. Third situation may be, he is relatively weaker than I, but not so bad to sell his parental house, he may stay in my house, if and only if he gets a job at the place where I have constructed my house. Considering the job market worldwide, having a job in one's hometown is very remote. With so many condition, probability of your son to stay in the house you have constructed cannot be more than 10%.

Under the circumstances, it is most likely that your children will not be with you at your old age. Then how you will cope up the situation. I can only suggest few options for your considerations:

Be busy with your work. But after your retirement to be busy with some work is also a challenge. To overcome this, many senior officers are doing consultants' job, which may not be highly fashionable for many.

Therefore for those who may not like to join another time bound job, they can go back to their old hobbies, which they had to abandon for the demanding official duties.

In the worst case, if you cannot find another job and you did not have any hobby also to make yourself busy, then my suggestions will be, to perform some religious and social activities with the similarly placed persons.

Even if that is not possible because of your own habits and behaviour, if you have money, go for a world tour. Otherwise also you can visit some of the nearby un-explored places of your interest.

But one thing, I always tell my friends, please do not save money for your children once they are settled economically. The reasons for my argument is simple: If you leave behind one million, your children will compare you with a person who left more than two millions and their last comment will be, 'Our father was not money-wise, otherwise he could have left some more like father of our friend so and so.' If you leave one billion, their last comments will be no different.

However, if you leave behind nothing at your death, they may say, 'We become self-made persons as our father was a poor person. Despite of his poor economic background, he gave us the best of the education with his limited resources which helped us to stand on our own feet. Hats off to the poor fellow for his indomitable character.'

You may say the last dialogue is an imaginary dialogue from a Hindi film. Fortunately, I heard this dialogue from many successful persons whom I have come across in my life.

### Chapter 12: KISS-what it means?

A kiss carries different meaning for different persons, different relations, different situations, different objectives and different geographic connotations.

When a mother kisses her child, it means love & affection, best wishes, blessings, securities-both physical and emotional at different stages of life and for different occasions.

When a grandmother kisses a grandchild, it means boundless love, blessings and love for her own child who has given this most beautiful gift to her. Grandmother never expects anything except few words of love from her grandchildren.

When a father kisses his child, it means his love, assurance for physical and financial insurance and protections from outside world. Sometimes a father may not be able to protect his child from a powerful adversary, even then he kisses his child which is nothing but an expression of grief and apology for his own incompetence or incapacity.

When a teacher kisses a student, it means blessing for his prodigy coated with love and affection. He wants that he should be known for his student, while kissing him or her.

When a child kisses his/her father, it is a cheer joy without any explanation. When a very young kid kisses his/her parents, his/her saliva makes the cheeks of parents wet ,but that makes the young couple forget all the pains/struggles/ unhappy incidents they have to face during the day. They do not wipe the saliva on their cheeks, but allow them to dry through evaporation only.

For getting a kiss from a grandson/granddaughter one has to wait for more than fifty years or so. Some are lucky to earn that kiss and some are not. But when they get it, they get the flavour of seventh heaven.

Normally, only parents have the liberty to kiss their children on any part of the body till a certain age No other person has that liberty, socially, legally or emotionally. All other may have the permission to kiss only on head, forehead and cheeks.

A kiss between spouses, lovers means love, affection, faithfulness, submission, promise and so on. Where to kiss and when to kiss is coming out of consensus of two matured persons. Well, kissing at public places by two adults is not a welcome gesture in many conservative societies/countries. However, in most of the modern societies/ countries, kissing by two adults in public places is no more a taboo. It is an expression of intimate love, no one wants to miss.

What are the common things about a kiss, irrespective of age, relation, geographical/ social differences? Kiss is a sensual and sensitive personal expression of intimate love. Therefore, whenever you kiss a person, you should be sure that you love him/her and decide where to kiss, if you kiss someone on head/forehead you love the person as son/daughter/grandchild/sister/brother/student/well-wisher. Alternatively, you should kiss only on head and forehead whom you treat as son/daughter/sister/brother/student/well-wisher. Similarly, if, you get a kiss from a person on your head/forehead then the person will be a father (father-like)/mother (mother-like)/ grandparents /sister/ brother/ teacher/ student/ well-wisher and please try to respect love and feeling of that person. If you get a kiss on your cheek, he/she may be a close friend/ well-wisher/ grandparents and of course your parents.

Kiss on the lips are reserved for lovers and spouses only. If someone forces you a kiss on your lips, you have every right to protect you right legally. Similar legal actions you can initiate if anybody forces a kiss on your private parts.

What is the effect of a kiss on a person? It gives you love, emotional support, happiness, zeal to live longer (for an old person) and so on. So, do not be a miser to place a kiss on a right person, on the right part of the body and at a right place, of course, whom you love. Never kiss a person whom you do not love. Similarly, do not expect a kiss from a person who is not a close person to your heart!

### Chapter 13: Have you ever heard?

Can you name the species which was never in existence, but even then people, all over the world, have been searching for thousands of years?

There may be many. I am giving below few of them.

  1. An extremely good son and son in law in the same man.

  2. An intelligent, obedient and hardworking subordinate.

  3. A smart and homely girl

  4. An earning daughter in law who serves her in laws all the time

  5. A wife who is earning and will do all the household chores.

You can add any number of species in this list. You may be thinking, I am in a very jovial mood while writing this chapter and that is why I am cracking a joke. Perhaps I am not very lucky to share a joke right now.

It all has started when a lady working with me for more than eight years asked me a question, 'Sir, I have not seen you scolding anyone in the office during my entire period working with you. Why?'

'Your observation is not hundred percent correct. At least ten times I have scolded my juniors during the last twenty-five years of my service career. However, that may be very less compared to many of my colleagues. Now I am coming to your question, why. Probably, because I have no expectation from anyone.'

'Are you unhappy with all of us or always happy with all of us?' The perplexed lady asked her second question.

'I do not know. But I know one thing, if I say politely to a junior to do a job, he/ she will try to do it happily with best of her/ his ability. If I say with a bad temper, even then he/ she try to do the same thing but without using all his/ her capabilities. Because, during the whole period of work, my un-welcome words will be echoing in his/ her ears. This is not only true for my juniors, it is also true for my children and wife. Further, I always try to do my own works sincerely without asking for any assistance from my juniors most of the time.'

Many of you will not agree to my work culture; but I strongly believe, to extract best of the work from a junior is not expecting anything from him/her.

### Chapter 14: How to Allay your Fears

We all fear for something constantly in life and therefore we may admit that fear is also an integral part of our lives. Some of the fears are based on our personal experiences and some are based on others' experiences. However, some are baseless; but most of us fear them most.

For example, you are a victim of child abuse, when you become a father, you will be always fearful about safety and security of your children. Even if you come to know that someone known to you is a victim of child abuse, when you become a father, you will be always fearful about safety and security of your children. These two examples are of the first category and second category of fears respectively.

Fear for ghosts is the best example of baseless fear. I have never come across a single person who has ever seen a ghost in his / her life, but majority of people across the globe fear for ghosts. When you confront with the question, 'Have you seen a ghost?', the most common answer is, 'I have not seen, but one of my relatives/ friends saw a ghost when he/ she had to go through a jungle or had stay in an isolated forest bunglow.'

Again fear can be divided into two groups on the basis of its effects on us. Some fears are good for us and good for the society and some are bad in nature. Fear to do something against law is good for us as well as for the society. While driving, fear for an accident may help you drive cautiously. Fear to fight back for any injustice meted out to you is an example of bad fear.

Some fears constantly haunt a person without any valid reason. For example, if children are going out for some times, many of us are worried or fearful till they return. Some of us always worried of the wellbeing of our near and dears when they are out of station for limited period or permanently.

Another genuine or perception of fear is fear of losing someone who is very close to you today. In fact, probably everyone is worried or fearful about losing someone near and dear to him or her physically or emotionally or both physically and emotionally.

We always try to find out a way out to overcome these fears. I am trying to find out some ways and means to get rid these fears.

Actually some golden rules I want to follow to overcome some of the fears which I am sharing with you. If you like those, you can also follow; otherwise you can dump those without any bad feeling about me for my audacity to advise you.

Some of them are given below for your consideration:

1. Pray to God when you do not need any specific help from Him. Everyone is praying God when he/ she is in trouble. What will be the difference between him/ her with you, if you do the same thing (praying when you are dire straits)? If you want special treatment from him you should also treat Him with specialty (praying him when you are in comfortable position). You submit before Him and pray Him to solve those problems which are beyond your control. For example, you are 2000 KM away from your family, you just submit before Him to look after your family in your absence. This will reduce your fear from some unknown mis-happenings of your family members.

2. Pray to God when you are happy and content. Always try to be happy and content what you have. Thank God for what you have. Do not grumble what you do not have. If you are happy and content what you have, your blood pressure and blood sugar will be under control. Having more than you need will increase your fear to lose those extra and un-necessary properties and money. So be content with bare necessities only.

3. Do not fear for any examination. Worst scenario, you may fail in the examination or you may get lowest marks. Do not fear to get lowest mark in the class. If you do not get lowest marks in the class at least once, you cannot appreciate your position at the last but one. Therefore, do not cry when you get the lowest mark. From then onwards you can only improve. Rather, give a thank you to God for giving an opportunity to improve. Fear for examination will go away from you once you can think on that line.

4. Do not fear to be late in the office or to reach an appointed place to meet an important person. No doubt you always try to be in time; but you may be late due to some reasons which are beyond your control. Therefore, to make up your loss time, do not be in a hurry to cross the road. While crossing the road you should allow the cars to pass, so that you can live a healthy life for another day. In the lighter vein, otherwise you may miss to see many beautiful faces in the cars that you did not allow to cross before you. In an extreme case, while crossing a road if you are not cautious, you may be hit by a car and you may die also. Fearing for an accident is not bad. But again in lighter vein, if you hit by a car, you have every chance to see some beautiful faces of lady doctors and nurses. Really, do you want take a chance to see those beautiful faces? If you do not want to see the medical staff in a hospital, better have some fear to cross the road.

5. Now I am telling about a fear which is common but different for different persons. If you are blessed with children, you are fearful about another pregnancy. On the other hand, if a couple is not blessed with a child even after few years of their marriage, they are fearful about regular menstruation after every jumping of due date. But think, unless your wife does not fail in pregnancy tests at least once, you will never enjoy your wife's first pregnancy. So pray to God for his blessings and leave to Him to take the final call.

6. Do not fear for rejection of a girl on your proposal. Go and propose the girl whom you love. It is her prerogative to accept or reject your proposal. Take her decision sportingly. Remember, if you are not rejected by few girls you cannot love the first one who accepts your proposal.

7. Many youths are fearful of their expected first dating as they become fearful about their capacity to satisfy their counter parts. But again remember if you can penetrate in the first attempt, you will not enjoy first penetration of your life. Therefore, instead of fearful about your first night, be ready to enjoy your failure and discuss with your partner how to make it more beautiful!

8. Never fear to fail in any examination of your life. If you do not fail in any examination, you are deprived of the enjoyment of passing an examination.

9. When you fight with someone, there is always a chance that you may lose. But never fear for a loss. Remember, if you do not lose a bout, you are deprived of ecstasy of winning a bout. If you lose to a particular opponent ten times and if you can win against him on your eleventh attempt, your happiness will be more than his combined happiness while winning previous ten wins.

10. Many youth are fearful about pre-ejaculation. If you never pre-ejaculate, you will never enjoy the moment of ejaculation when you for the first time ejaculate after your partner ejaculates.

11. Many of us fearful about darkness (both mental and real). Light gives pleasure only if you are in darkness for sometimes. Therefore, instead of fearful about darkness, keep your cool during the darkness and wait for the light to come.

12. You miss your dear ones when they are away. But never become fearful about thinking about their welfare. That will not help you. Instead believe in God and pray for their welfare and happiness.

13. Do not fear to taste a bitter pill or bitter guard. Always remember, sugar tastes sweet if you taste some other things as well.

14. Do not fear for diabetes. Instead take preventive measures well in advance. One should eat bitter guard well before he or she is diagnosed with diabetes.

15. Do not fear to hear something against you. Always keep mum when someone else is speaking against you, otherwise you will lose a chance to learn about your shortcomings. In any case you cannot stop others mouth.

16. Do not fear to spend on you and on your family for good cause. Spend money otherwise there is no reason to earn.

17. Do not fear for financial stability of your grandchildren. Saving is good for future, but saving for your grandchildren is absolutely useless.

18. Do not fear to forget the contents of few books. Some books are to be forgotten only. Do not read book with equal concentration- read some books with 100% concentration and others in between 0-100%.

19. Prioritize reading of books. Pornography should come at the last when you are accustomed with pornography vocabulary once. I am sure; you will never forget any word once you will understand the meaning of the words once. Most of the pornographic books are nothing but repetitions only. Do not fear about your masculinity after reading pornographic books. Those are mere exaggerations only.

20. Do not ditch your partner -at least apparently. Always fear to God to do that. That will help you in the long run.

21. Do not fear to tell a lie if it helps someone who genuinely needs your help. Fact of the matter is, everybody lies. You should learn the habit of lying with confidence. But always fear to tell a lie if it harms others and helps you to do something wrong.

22. Beware of the person who always claims, 'I am an honest person.' Or if he/ she says, 'I hate lie.' Or if he/ she says, 'I never tell a lie.' He may be the smartest liar. If you believe him, you may be dumbest person I have ever come across!

23. Remember, nobody lies always; even a lawyer speaks truth occasionally. Therefore, do not fear to take a liar into confidence sometimes. Take decision on your own judgment.

24. Nobody always tells the truth-intentionally nor a lie intentionally. So take a prudent view after hearing a matter from a person who normally speaks the truth. Do not fear to verify facts even you feel the information is coming from a truthful person.

25. Lack of honesty does not pay but honesty also does not pay always. Truth may be in between. Therefore, do not fear to play a dirty game, if the other party is already started the dirty game from his/ her side.

### Chapter 15: Marital Rape

Discussion about own birth, if it is not a respectable one, in most of the societies around the world is a taboo. Rightly or wrongly, when we boasted our lineage, nothing wrong is seen by our societies. But when a person claims, he was not born from a married couple, we become uncomfortable to discuss the issue further in front of him/ her. We become even more uncomfortable when a person claims that he was born from a legally married couple unexpectedly. We see a person with surprised and disgusted look when a person claims in public that he was born from a legally married couple unexpectedly and he was unwanted by his father or by mother or by both of them. Finally, we hate to talk to a person if he/she claims he/she was born from a legally married couple when his mother was mercilessly raped by his/her own father.

Recently marital rape is a very hot topic discussed in India. Whether marital rape should be tried in the court of law or not, is an issue which has been debated inside and outside the parliament of India. I do not know the nitty-gritty of the issue in the lawyers' point of views, but I heard this phrase for the first time in 1978 as a student of higher secondary student of Cotton College. Rishabh (name changed) who was a class mate of mine for two years, told me for the first time this phrase for his own birth. However, I did not hear the phrase for many years till I met a lady from an elite background told this phrase when I was travelling with her in a second class AC compartment from Guwahati to New Delhi by Rajdhani Express in 1994-95. Her explanation of marital rape is also shared in this chapter. In the two cases referred above, mother of Rishabh and the lady travelling with me became pregnant as a result of alleged 'Marital Rape' and gave birth three sons, one of them is Rishav himself another two by the lady, ten and six-seven years at that time when for the first time last time I had met. Another story is concerned to Kanak, my closest friend of the last five decades. He also thinks that he is also a product of marital rape or to be fair to his father, an accidental product of their parent. The cases Rishabh and Kanak are based on conjectures or based on over hearing of some sentences loosely spoken during arguments of their parents. However, in the case of the lady, it was her claim that she was raped by her husband on regular basis and impregnate her without her will or consent.

As all we know, if we hear one side of the story, it is a perfect case. Therefore, I am sharing these three cases on the basis of the claims made by one party (victims) only. Irrespective of the truth in these three cases, the issue is a very sensitive one and therefore I shall try my best to keep my analysis to be as balanced as possible.

Rishabh's Story: Rishabh (name changed) was an introvert and was not capable to communicate with ease due to his stammering except with one or two of his classmates. Luckily, I was one of them. We used to be closed, but I cannot claim that he was my friend. Normally, he used to talk about our study, economic condition of the country, even he used to talk about politics; but he never talked about his family matters. Contrary to that, I was open to talk anything under the sun including my family matters. Despite of his serious nature, he was not able to perform well in the final examination and secured only a third division and therefore he could not continue his studies in our college after 1978. As a corollary to that, he went out my radar permanently after 1978. I do not know where he is now and what is he doing. Practically, he is a nonentity for me and for the most of my friends. But recent noise of marital rape has reminded me about Rishabh once again.

I used to go for a movie in my college days at one pretext or another and once I enjoyed 40 movies in 32 days. Another record of mine was 18 movies in 7 days. But Rishabh never went for any movie with me. I thought he might have a feeling that only bad boys go for movies (not for acting; but just to enjoy movie in cinema halls). During those days, going and enjoying a movie was the only recreation for the ordinary students with their meagre pocket money. Today's children will not able to imagine, how cheap was going to enjoy movie in a hall at that time. In those days, in Guwahati, the costliest ticket was priced at Rs.3.60/- (few cents) in the best available hall. During those days, Apsara cinema hall was the most modern cinema hall of Guwahati and they use to have the Apsara circle which costs Rs.3.60/-. The other halls charged between Rs.2.55 to Rs.2.25 for their top class.

One day when I was approached by Rishabh for a movie, I was surprised. But immediately I agreed to go with him as he requested me for a movie for the first time in two long years of our association.

After the movie, when we were returning back to our hostel, he requested me to sit with him for some time at a restaurant. I agreed to his request rather gladly as I seldom get a request from a serious student like Rishabh for a serious talk. Otherwise most of the serious students of our class thought I was a spoilt student and likely to bomb in the Class-XII final examination.

'Do you know how I was born?' Rishabh asked me.

'Was it a caesarean operation?'

'Oh, I am sorry, I should have asked, how I was conceived.' He told me with an apology.

"It's alright! Since you are a serious boy I am not telling the answer. Had this question come from Vivek (with whom I used to engage in lot of loose talks), I would have answered, 'conceived through some boons like Karna and Pandava were born'. Sorry if I hurt you by any means!" I told him as politely as I can.

'I would have been happier, had I been conceived by that means! But my birth was worse than that. I was a product of a rape case; unfortunately, that too when my mother was raped by my own father!' He told me with a clear sign of disgust.

'What? Your mother was raped by your own father! How it is possible?' I exclaimed.

"Not once, he was a repeat offender.' He paused for a moment. Then he started again, 'My mother was from a poor background and my father was from a rich but uncultured family. He used to abuse my mother both physically and mentally. On the slightest pretext he used to beat up my mother. For him, my mother was a bonded labourer. For him wife means, 'Wonderful Instrument For Enjoyment'. He has no respect for my mother. Somehow, he loves my elder brother. Other than my elder brother, all according to him are by products of his enjoyment. However, in my opinion, all the three children, except our elder brother, are results of marital rapes." He stopped there.

I saw few drops of tears were coming from his eyes. I could not find any appropriate words to console him. For the first time, I was allowed to peep into someone's personal life which was full of negativity.

'Do you respect your father?' He asked me with a choked voice.

'Yes, I do. Though I know that, I am not the most favourite son of my father, I did not find anything to disrespect him as my father. Further, I did not hear anything like 'marital rape' or something like that. But, yes, I also feel that I am a product of some miscalculation or due to some accidents. To be fair to my father, there are at least 20% of the total humanity are products of miscalculations or accidents. Therefore singling out my father or for that matter, my parents will not be a justified one.' I concluded.

'You are right. You may be a product of miscalculations or accidents; but product of marital rape is different. You will not understand the agony of my mother and our other siblings. My father was so arrogant and shameless that he used to drag my mother in our presence to fulfil his desire till we were about six-seven year old. I am sure, your father or 99% of the fathers would not have done those dirty things in front of their children.' He asked my support on that.

'I agree with you on that. Neither my father nor anyone from my village had ever done that. Forget about own children, they did not do those nonsense before other children of the village also.' I told him in his support.

After that sad conversation, we silently left the restaurant. We never discussed the matter again. I did not tell about our conversation to anybody as I thought it was too personal to be discussed with others.

In 12th Examination he secured a very bad percentage and left our college and I did not try to connect him as in those days we did not have mobile phone or face book!

Kamini's Story: As I was occupying my AC-II tier seat on Rajdhani Express to New Delhi, a few suitcases and some cane furniture were dumped into my compartment of four. The suitcases were pushed below our seats and cane furniture was kept on one upper berth. All these were done by some Jawan (soldiers or constables) type people led by a well-dressed middle aged bulky person. I thought he might be a military officer who was on a transfer from North East.

Finally, just before, the train started, a beautiful lady of around thirty five entered into the compartment with two young boys of around 8-10 years. I became worried, if all four were travelling, I had to be squeezed to a corner. But I was relieved to know that, the bulky fellow was not travelling with us, he would fly to New Delhi to receive his family at New Delhi station.

Afterwards, I came to know that he was a very senior officer of Government of Assam and the lady was his second wife and he was around fifteen years older than his wife. After death of his first wife he married this young lady who was hardly ten years older than his daughter and son from his earlier marriage. Though the lady never told me that she was from a poor family, I did not find any difficulty to understand from the conversations made during the next twenty eight hours about her economic background.

Till train started moving, the lady did not utter any other words except to her husband 'Ok'. That was little bit unusual. Whenever any wife leaves her husband alone, she gives lecture and husband utters, 'ok'. For a moment I thought she might not be his wife.

Once the train moved out of the station she wished me good morning and told her sons to be disciplined throughout the journey. I must say they were mostly disciplined throughout our journey of more than thirty hours (train was late by more than two hour-as usual).

But within two hours I realised, she was not as disciplined as her children. She was not adverse if while going out of the compartment or while coming into the compartment, she had to touch me or catching my hands. However, initially I blamed the usual culprit, jerking of the train.

She opened up within no time. Her hatred towards her husband was obvious from her talk. 'I did not want to marry that rhinoceros. But he was able to convince my parents and I am suffering till today for their decision.'

'Why you did not want to marry him, because of his age or his look?' I wanted to know.

'No, had that be the reason, I would have loved him after our eleven years of marriage. It is because of the demon inside that man.' I had not heard anything so brazen about one's husband.

'He never treats me as his wife; but as his slave. He did not behave well with the other wife also. Many think that his earlier wife committed suicide. But I am not going to commit suicide also. Once my children will be able to stand on their feet, I shall seek divorce from this animal.' She was emitting venom in each word. I did not gather the courage to ask any more questions.

But after taking lunch when her sons went to sleep, she asked me, 'Are you going to sleep now?' Without waiting for my answer, she started, 'I did not want to tell before my children, my husband never loves me, he rapes me whenever he feels. Both my sons were born out of those rapes.'

During that journey, I came to know about rapes committed by a husband, from a victim's point of view. I cannot authenticate the veracity of her claim; but I was sure that the lady used to hate her husband from the core of her heart and was ready to take all types of revenge on her part without leaving him officially till her children were grown up.

'Do you know why he has not accompanied us? He wants to enjoy his life at New Delhi tonight. He sent the children with me so that I do not have liberty to do anything.' She stopped for a moment.

'He always doubts me. During office hours he visits home without warning or information. One day, he visited home just after half an hour of his leaving to office. During that time I was in the bath room. As I was late by five minutes in opening the door, first he slapped me and then he checked each and every room, including every corner and below the beds. When he did not find anything, he raped me mercilessly hitting every part of my body. I had to visit a doctor and it took almost a week to recover my injuries.' A stream of tears flowed down.

Without any specific reason or intention, I removed her tears from her cheek. Her children were fast sleep. She came over to my berth and whispered, 'I have never cheated my husband so far. But this time I shall definitely cheat him for sure.' I did not utter any word.

Before we were approaching New Delhi station, she said, 'I shall remember this journey till my death. I am happy at least for some hours for the first time in the last eleven years, I lived on my own terms. I shall remain thankful to you for the rest of my life for giving me so much happiness for the last twenty odd hours. I shall meet you again after coming back to Guwahati.'

Though at the end of our journey she promised to meet me again, neither had she ever met me nor did I try to meet her; but her statements and her body fragrance still remain fresh in my mind even after twenty odd years!

Kanak's Story: My closest friend, Kanak's case is little bit different from that of Rishabh's case. Rishabh claimed to be an eye witness of marital rape, whereas Kanak's claim was based on some conjectures, might be based on truth or on hearsay, not authenticated by anyone.

He sometimes thinks, he was also a product of marital rape. Even if he is not a product of marital rape, he is sure that he is a product of an accident. None of his parents wanted him because of his timing of his birth. The gap between his elder brother and him is merely one year two months. He was told after his elder brother's birth, his mother had been suffering from different ailments. His mother was not aware till three to four months of pregnancy that Kanak was in her womb, as she did not start her regular periods after birth of her first child. As soon as she came to know that she became pregnant of an unwanted child, she rushed to a doctor for abortion. After looking at the condition of her health, she was advised to rethink the matter once again and requested her to come on the next day.

She wanted to discuss the matter with her husband first. But Kanak's father was indifferent about the pregnancy. Therefore, she went to her Aunt's place to take advice on the issue. Her advice came in these words, 'First of all, you should have been cautious. Since you had not been cautious, you have to suffer either way; by giving birth an unhealthy and under developed child or get rid of him/her by going for an abortion. So far you have only one child, if you go for an abortion and it goes horribly wrong, you may not be able to conceive again. In that case, you will be a mother of one child only. Considering this important possible implication, I advice you not to go for an abortion. But even if you give birth an undernourished child, do not go for a third child until you regain your health completely.'

At this Kanak's mother purportedly told her Aunt, 'I did not want that, he forced me.'

Kanak could not verify the facts authentically, but he felt the heat of being an unexpected child for his entire life.

At the time of his birth he was hardly 1.75 KG, disproportionally long in size with a very thin body. His body colour was so pale, one of his uncle commented that he did not have any blood in his body. He was so weak, on his 21st day, everyone in the family thought that day would be his last day. But somehow he survived. Because of undernourishment, he had to suffer from all sorts of deadly diseases including small pox, measles, chicken pox, influenza, dengue and mums at different ages. But it is pure God's blessings, he survived all these and became a strong youth in due course of time.

His physical weaknesses to fight diseases were not only the hindrances for his normal growth, but he had also to fight a mental battle as well. He was always ridiculed in public by his father for his physical, intellectual and understanding capability which was always compared with his elder brother. His father always ridiculed his capabilities in front of others just for fun. His father did not ever try to understand him nor did his father asses his mental trauma for his father's light hearted jokes where his capabilities were always undermined. His mother was a mute spectator of all the humiliation meted out to him by her husband. His brother enjoyed those jokes, as a young boy feeling great on putting him on a better pedestal. He once thought he was not belonged to that family. He tried to cope up with the situation by creating a cocoon around him. Perhaps he started hating his father and brother for all those jokes, rightly or wrongly, made out of general impression that Kanak was nothing but a foolish child.

Luckily for Kanak, one day a visit by an elderly teacher had changed his own perception towards his life. His visit made Kanak a tougher warrior of life, both in terms of mental strength and physical strength.

On that particular day also, his father cracked a joke about Kanak's foolishness and simultaneously praised his elder son for his intelligence. The visitor, who happened to be a teacher of both of his parents, asked Kanak to come near to him. When Kanak went to him, he said with an assuring voice, 'Do not upset at your father's joke, my son. A father of average intelligence cannot judge a son with an extraordinary intellect. My son, your achievement in your life will be extra ordinary. I also cannot predict what will be your achievement in your life being an ordinary teacher. But I can see, a bright future is waiting for you. Hope some of your achievements will be before my death and some will come after my death. Ignore your father's joke like barking by a dog on the street at the sight of a moving elephant.'

Then turning to his father, the old teacher said, 'The son whom you are thinking more intelligent, he will come out to be an average intelligent boy as you are. Your second son is far more intelligent than both of you. What you think as his stupidity, those are the result of different thinking process which most ordinary people cannot understand. Thinking him as foolish boy is not your problem, it is the problem of lack of wisdom as a father on your part. You just wait for two to three years; you will start seeing the results what I am predicting.'

Though, Kanak's father did not like those words from his teacher, he did not say anything. From that day onwards, Kanak's father stopped ridiculing him, but he became more vindictive to towards Kanak. If someone praised Kanak before his father, he used to acknowledge it politely. But in the next opportunity, he used to abuse Kanak on one or other relevant or irrelevant issue. For all the failures and mistakes committed by his elder son, Kanak was scolded (in mild word). Being an unwanted child, he had to suffer all these humiliation and abuses silently.

Even after his marriage, his father, mother and sister used to tell all his negative points to his in laws and to his newly-wed wife. When his wife was pregnant, his sister told to his wife, 'My father thought, Kanak would not be able to be a father because of his physical weakness. Behind him still my father makes a lot of fun about his masculinity and his foolishness.'

Kanak was not sure, whether his father was making fun for his physical and mental shortcomings behind him or his sister was just poking him to ventilate some of her frustrations of not achieving anything like him in her own life.

But the real issue remains the same, whether a child who is a product of a marital rape or due to an accident, whether he/ she gets equal treatment with other children or not. If we see Kanak's point of view, a child who is a by-product of a marital rape or product of some accidents, is always neglected by his/her parents and therefore, his/her both mental and physical developments are not at a desired level.

Ramala's Argument: Can we equate all children who are products of marital rape and accidents? Perhaps, we cannot.

I have talked many of friends who were blessed with children before their first anniversary. In most of the cases, they admitted the first issues were not out of meticulous planning. In other words, these children were born out of accidental encounters or due to failure of contraception. But once a wife is in a family way (though unexpectedly), her husband takes all necessary cares for the unborn child and for the would-be mother. During this period, he normally shows all his love towards his wife and he normally tolerates all the unnecessary tantrums of his wife. In other words, these children are unexpected; but not unwanted. Rather in most of the cases, all the parents thank their respective Gods for giving the most beautiful gifts even without asking for those.

Ramala is one my closest friends' wife with whom I use to discuss many things. One day when they visited us for a dinner among other things, we discussed about marital rape and accidental pregnancy. As I know the difference of their children was less than two years, I asked them how second son was conceived; was it planned or by accident; hopefully not because of marital rape.

Ramala answered an interesting reply, 'My second son was conceived by an accident; not as per our plan nor because of a marital rape by your friend. This is my official reply for your query. However, in reality, I deceived him by not taking adequate precaution as I did not like to consume those pills nor did like insertion of copper-T. I did not tell him that I was not taking pill the way I should take. I did not allow him to use male contraceptive devices, as I did not like those. I took a calculated risk; so long I would not conceive it would be fine. Otherwise, I shall give birth the second child and go for an operation. Exactly that happened and I am happy about that. So far marital rape is concerned, at least he never tried that so far; if force sex is termed as a marital rape, I forced him many times.' With a huge laughter she finished her speech.

My wife also joined her, 'Actually our husbands are so timid, they cannot commit that crime. But we, wives can do.' There was a huge laughter in our room.

Now the point of argument has been shifted. If a wife is not interested for physical intimacy including sex, due to illness or due to other emotional issues or due to any other reasons, if she is forced to have sex, then will it be a marital rape or not. To counter that if a wife asks for sex with a valid threat, under the same condition, what will be the crime on the part of the wife?

Ramala says, 'both are crimes'. My wife says, 'First one is crime, second one is our right.'

When I asked my wife why she thinks so, she replied, 'In Indian, conditions, how many wives have the courage to tell their husbands that they want physical intimacy when husband is not in a mood for that. Therefore, if a wife musters the courage for physical intimacy, she should be encouraged instead of criminalizing her action.'

'I do not agree with your argument. For same action, you cannot blame one party and condemn the other!'

The debate was inconclusive.

However, in my personal opinion, the problem of raping a wife by her husband may not be a legal problem; rather it is a social and psychological problem. This problem, if comes to knowledge of someone else, or it is felt by the victim herself, she should approach some counsellor to treat her husband. If the husband is violent against the wife, he may be tried under domestic violence act or provision. If the forceful sex by husband is tried under some act, this may lead to social chaos and most of the husbands may agree that many a times wife do not agree for sex without some cajoling!

Even though, from the versions of Rishabh, Kamini and Kanak, I am sure there are plenty of examples where force sex do exist on the part of husbands. Though, I am not sure whether those can be defined as marital rape or not. So far birth is concerned, there may be three major categories, a) planned, executed and then give birth a healthy child, b) Not planned but happy to welcome a new one and then give birth a healthy child and c) Not planned and unhappy to welcome a new one and then give birth a unhealthy, either physically or mentally or both physically and mentally child.

The third categories of children have to suffer entire life, physically, mentally, socially and financially. Some of the victims can come out of the trauma and many of them cannot come out and become problems for themselves, for the families and for the society as well. But can we blame the victims?

Accidents may be avoided by taking appropriate steps with proper precautions. But once accident happens, instead of condemning each other, both should be united and welcome the new born. Otherwise the new born may lose confidence in himself/ herself which will affect both mental and physical health of the new born. In the long run, this child may develop anguish against the parents and against the society as a whole. This may lead to production of antisocial also. To avoid such a situation, the parents should take appropriate steps so that the child would never feel that he/ she is not unwanted to them nor to the society as a whole.

Affection of parents will build self confidence in the mind of the new born which in turn will help the whole society to grow as a society void of mentally or physically disabled/ ill persons. If the first part is inevitable, second part, that correction of the fault lies with the parents. We can correct the mistakes and make our progeny healthy in all respect.

### Chapter 16: Losing a Plot

Everybody wants to win a heart at least once in his /her life time. Some of us are regular player in that playground. For us winning a heart or losing a heart has very less effect in our personal life on a sustainable basis. But for those, who play the game of love only once in their lifetime, is a question of life and death for them. If they win, they end up with changing of nappies and those who fail, either they never try it again and lose the self-confidence forever or they do something the whole world looks at their achievement with a wow. The second category of people are limited in numbers. So if you ask my advice on this, my advice is always to a regular player on that playground till your death. I am sure, like any other games, your winning percentage will grow as much as you play. After all experience always helps you in winning any game, including the game of love.

In this chapter, I shall try to share some of the failures in the game of love which were experienced by me and my close friends over the time. However, I must admit, despite of our failures in the game of love, we all are enjoying our lives with our family members and friends

Now let me start with a story, where and how I lost a plot to win the heart of the most beautiful girl of our college. It is really a tragic revelation for me which came into light only after two decades after leaving my college in 1981.

Lack of Confidence:

She was the reigning queen of our college when I joined class XI in the most prestigious college of the state after passing out from a village school. As usual, I was a rustic lanky boy who was lacking in confidence to propose the reigning queen of our college though I had always wanted to win her heart by any means. Though, my result was constantly better than her, I always thought she was smarter and more intelligent than I. Therefore, I could not muster the courage to propose her in four long years!

After twenty years down the line, what happened to two of us is a tragic story of a Bollywood/ Tollywood movie where one has to use handkerchief to wipe out tears of the other one!

In due course of time, I became a senior manager in an MNC, smart enough to sell our products to the esteemed customers by befooling them. At the right age, I was married to a lady smarter than the reigning queen of our college. But still I probably have a soft corner for the reigning queen of our time even after marriage of fifteen years!

What she got from me!

Recently, I came to know that, she was aware about my feelings towards her due to my body language. She was expecting a proposal from me in four years of our college days. Due to lack of confidence, I did not dare to propose her in the entire college days! She also did not come forward due to some inhibition on her part.

She is still unmarried! Now she hates me from the core of heart and recently she conveyed her hatred for me accumulated over the time, through a common friend.

I, now blame my lack of confidence as the murderer of feelings of two hearts! Had I proposed her, what would have happened? Either she would have accepted or she would have rejected. At least in that case, we would have known each other's feelings and at least one heart would have been saved from shattering.

My lack of confidence led to problems for three persons, me, the reigning queen of my college and my wife. Luckily the decision of reigning queen of our college not to marry saved one more heart from 'broken heart group' (her would-be husband).

However, as I explained in the first para of the chapter, I forgot about that lady once I left my college which in the long run saved my life from any emotional damage or breakdown. But I have all sympathy for the reigning queen of our college, who only once played the game of love and could not muster the courage to reveal her love for me. Looking back the whole episode, I think she was a lady who was overtly smart, but internally she was weak and actually less smart than even a rustic village boy.

So my advice to all (both the gender), open up your heart, if you have any feeling for someone; do not keep it to yourself for fear of rejection, because that will help none!

Funny English: English is a language all over the world spoken differently. In India, basically we used to speak British English or Common Wealth English with our own regional ascents. But recently, thanks to political and economic dominance of USA, all of a sudden, a few amongst us, have started speaking English in American ascent. But unfortunately, that is not very easy to follow for most us.

To win a heart of a damsel, English comes very handy in India. But sometimes, it may be counterproductive also. Now let me share the failed love story a friend of mine because of English language.

My friend, Anshu speaks English in a very funny way with his local ascent. He was after a girl who speaks English very well. Anshu wanted to win over the girl by conversing with her in excellent (?) English. I had never doubt about his knowledge and command in English language; but his funny pronunciation spoiled all his efforts. His heart was broken when the damsel told him, 'Your English is so funny; why you don't talk with me in Hindi, our mother tongue!'

As he was dumb struck for few moments, his agony was further enhanced by this sentence, 'Why we like Hiranya, do you know? Though he is not a Hindi speaking person, he speaks in Hindi whenever, he talks with us. Contrary to that, you always try to speak in English when our common mother tongue is Hindi. Is it not funny?'

'Why do you drag me into the controversy? I am always trying to speak the local language wherever I stay. If possible, I try to speak to the person in his/her mother tongue. Unfortunately, I do not have any English friend because of my modest background.' I tried to clarify my stand.

Afterwards, the girl told me that she was aware that my friend was after her and instead of rejecting his love proposal, she out rightly rejected him as even a friend whom she did not even like to talk.

After that episode, my friend never tried to speak in English before that girl; but damage had already been done beyond repair.

My suggestion for those friends who want to win over a girl through a particular quality, he should confirm his quality through some feedback from some reliable friends. However, some qualities are so obvious that one does not need to take feedback from friends. For example, a good player on any discipline or a singer or an established writer or a reputed dancer may not need certificate from friend. But for them also, a suitor must know liking or disliking about the quality he / she is possessing by the other party.

Over-smartness often kills the cause: Smartness is good to win heart of a damsel. A recent study in a reputed university revealed that majority of girls want a boyfriend who is smart. On the other hand, they want husbands who are not smart enough to win heart of another girl after their marriage. What a contrast in choosing a husband and a boyfriend by a damsel! After thirty-two years of marriage, I am able to understand why my lovely wife agreed to marry me!

So if you are not smart, you are going to get a beautiful girl as your wife and if you are smart you are going to get a smart girl as your girlfriend! Therefore, none should be unhappy, as both of you (the smart one and the dumb one) have equal chances of winning heart of a beautiful lady for some time at least.

But, truth is, none wants a damn dumb person as a husband nor a boyfriend. Then how much you should be smart or otherwise, to win a heart of a damsel?

This is a 'million-dollar question' which has no readymade answer.

Many suitors lose the battle of love to some smart people and equal number of people lose to more dumb persons than them. So how to solve this peculiar paradox?

Actually winning heart of a damsel is like swimming in a pool (for rich people) or in a pond (for a poor boy). Before getting into the water, one has to make preliminary studies like temperature of water, depth of the water body, presence or absence of current, how many people are already in the water body and so on. Similarly, before jumping into the fray to win heart of a lady, one has to study the liking and disliking of the damsel towards a smart (actually degree of smartness, otherwise everybody is smarter than someone and dumber than someone else, nothing is absolute, so smartness is also) people. Then behave like a little smarter than her expectation; but not much more.

Take this example of my friend Jayant, who was one-year senior to me in my master degree. He was dying for Gayatri who was reasonably a smart girl. Jayant was a smart boy and unfortunately he pretended to be much smarter than what actually he was before Gayatri.

The whole game plan backfired for him for being over-smart in the eyes of Gayatri. Gayatri rejected his proposal by saying, 'Please do not mind, I want someone who is compatible with me and my family. You appeared to be from a very high class society where I shall be a fish out of water even if our love story ends in a positive note. You are an extremely smart boy and you will need an equally smart girl otherwise you will not be happy in the long run! I am sure, you will get a smarter girl than I.'

So the playing over smartness doomed his own cause! I do not know whether Jayant got a smarter girl as his life partner or not!

Success Stories Not Necessarily Brings Success to You: Success stories are like medicines, some may be helpful to a particular group of people and for another group, the same medicines totally useless. In extreme cases, those may be deadly also. Take the example of penicillin, this group of medicines help many patients to regain their health and if however, they react with some patients, reaction may even be fatal.

Similar case happens to a friend of mine who took clue from my successful love story with a city girl (not ended with change of diaper of a child). During that period, my relationship with Nita was blooming like a red rose in the month of April. We were seen hand in hand in many cinema halls and parks by my friends and other peers.

One evening, Rakesh asked me how I won the heart of Nita despite of apparent huge social difference between us.

'It is simple; I talked to her whenever I got a chance. I told her how much I am backward compared to her in all social indicators. Initially, she sympathized with me and slowly she recognized my innocence and liked my dumbness! One evening when I proposed her straight, she could not refuse! I was also not sure why she agreed to my proposal.'

Following my footsteps, Rakesh tried to become friendly with Ribha whom, according to him, she also used to love him silently. But unfortunately she had an eye on Vikash who happened to be one-year senior to us. Therefore, she initially ignored his advances (not physical) to become friendly with her. However, when he did not heed to her gestures, she told Vikash to make him understand the reality.

One evening, Rakesh was thrashed by the seniors to make him understand that Ribha was not interested in him. He learnt a lesson in a hard way that the same medicines cannot be applied for curing all the diseases. My success theory was not only inappropriate for him, but also dangerously counterproductive.

Stalking Never Helps: If anyone asks me what may be the most important single factor to fail in winning a heart of a girl, apart from rape and molestation, I shall definitely say 'Stalking'.

No person in the world wants, he or she should be followed by someone without his or her permission. Everyone has the right and desire to guard/ defend own privacy and everyone wants to defend the personal liberty and privacy with all his/her might. Now if you want to follow a person physically or through other means without his /her permission, you will never ever be able to win the heart of that person. This is not only true for a suitor, but it may be applicable to suspecting spouses also.

One of my friends, Harish used to love Manisha silently and wanted to win her heart. He was a popular student having a lot many friends. He requested all his friends to keep an eye on Manisha during the class and beyond. He was successful to know all her movements through his ever expanding network.

One day, Manisha came to know about spying on her activities by Harish through a girl who was close to a boy who in turn was a part of the network Harish had established so far.

Manisha became too upset to attend class for the next few days. When she came after few days to the class, she was accompanied by her brothers and cousins. The brothers in no unclear terms, told Harish to lay off. Otherwise, he might be decimated.

Then only Harish came to know that Manisha's brothers are known Goons of the city.

His stalking on Manisha did not win the heart of Manisha but pushed him dangerously to the edge.

The above example is an extreme case. But even a lady without Goon brothers will not love a man who stalks her.

Suppose, Manisha was an ordinary girl having no Goon brothers, then she would have two extreme alternatives, leave the college forever and second alternative would be surrender to Harish. Even if she would have surrendered to Harish, she would have surrendered her body only not her heart.

One should always remember, winning a heart of a damsel is much tougher than winning a boxing bout to a stronger opponent.

Cleanliness Helps: Cleanliness is next to God. Physical cleanliness along with pure intention is a pre-requisite for any healthy relation. Even none can guarantee that a damsel give nod to your proposal for a bonding, only because you are clean. But other way around is always correct; no lady will love a dirty fellow.

I can share some cases where some of my friends lose the battle of love due to some dirty habits.

Anant (name changed) was from a very rich family and was a very good lawn tennis player. In fact, he was a junior State Champion. But he had a very bad habit of not taking bath in the winter. He incidentally loved a classmate and proposed her to join for a cup of tea in an evening of chilly winter. The girl rejected his mere request for joining for a cup of tea only for his body odour. The incident came to light through some friends and everyone used to taunt him, 'Propose someone for a cup of tea after taking a bath!'

He was so disgusted with regular taunts from his friends that he became an alcoholic at a very early age. By early thirty, he died of ailments associated with alcoholism.

Though it is true story, you may term it as an extreme case!

Another brilliant friend, who was from a state of India which is known for open defecation, proposed a Delhi girl when I was a student of Delhi University. The girl told him, 'Sorry, I am engaged!'

But later on she said, 'How can I say yes to him! If he marries me and take to his village and tells me go to the field for .......!'

All of us know that, many budding love affairs ended with bad breath and bad body odour. Therefore, I am not going to share any of those incidents.

I am finishing this book with a happy note with a funny story of one of my friends who lost face to his girlfriend on a particular day while attending a function.

It was annual function of our college. As expected my friend was at his best of his moods and attire. His girlfriend was also in her best. Both the couple were moving merrily till his butt betrayed him with a deafening fart. He was so ashamed, he did not meet his girlfriend for the next one week, till the worried girlfriend went to his room to know about his mental condition.

No, she did not desert him; but he was punished for his by marrying him.

Recently when I met him in a get-together, I reminded him of the incident at which he laughed with a fair amount of shyness.

### Chapter 17: My First Management Guru

Barua sir was the Head of the Department of Statistics, Cotton College when I met him for the first time as a Pre-university student in 1976. At that time, his personality never allowed me to be closer to him. But situation had changed drastically when I joined as Statistics Honours student in 1978. In the meantime he became the Superintendent of our hostel, First Mess (now KK Handique hostel). Later on as a lecturer of the same department, made me one of the closest students of sir. Though, he was an extremely good student and teacher of statistics, I shall always remember him as my first management Guru other than my own father.

In 1979, I was appointed as Monitor of the hostel by Sir after getting an affirmative answer from me on his simple question, 'Are you ready to take the responsibility of a Monitor?' However, I was little bit upset after hearing from one of my classmates that offer was made to him before it was offered to me. I did not ask sir why he was offered the post before me till I became an ISS officer in 1985. He smiled and answered, 'I knew from the very beginning that you were far better candidate than him for the post, but I offered him before you to test his attitude of taking responsibilities. In the first one year, I have noticed each one of you and I found that he was always critical of others' activities. You perhaps noticed, he never criticised you as a monitor during the whole tenure of yours. Monitor's duty is to maintain free-flow of communication between the students and the Superintendent.' I do not know whether I was a good monitor or not, but I learnt a lesson, how to tame a disgruntled subordinate working under me as a senior officer.

In our hostel days, though now it may be ridiculous to hear, we were not allowed to take chicken in our hostel. So one day as an expression of revolt, we forced one of the cooks to prepare chicken outside the kitchen and we all relished the chicken curry. As expected the matter was reported and sir called me to his office room. What he told me for the next few minutes that became a great lesson for me. 'Hiranya, when the matter was reported to me, I thought some rogue boarders have done this. But when I was informed that you were also involved, I was not angry, but shell shocked. In one way you are agreeing that you are taking a bad decision by not cooking the chicken curry inside the kitchen and at the same time by forcing to serve the curry in the dining hall. Even if you want to revolt against a system, you should be sure what you want and what is your line of actions.' We took a cue from his admonishment and met the Principal, Dr. G Deka sir and included chicken in our hostel menu.

In 1981, sir scolded one the boarders at the top of his voice, when on the previous night in an inebriated condition, the boarder said something loudly very personal about sir. The student apologised and went on to become a very good doctor. This was an eye opener for me, 'One has to take head on any rogue element to maintain discipline in any organisation.'

As a Superintendent of the hostel, he always behaved like a true father. He made a communication channel, like our fathers in good old days, through his wife, our respected baidew (madam). What we did not dare to communicate with sir, we easily told to madam. Even some of our ridiculous demands were met by sir when the same was communicated through madam. Through that I learnt from him, few important things of life/ management. Always keep all communication channels to run an organization smoothly. Keep a distance with your subordinates, but always ready to hear their demands and needs. As a subordinate, I understood the importance of wife's view for your boss. Most of us will agree, we seldom dare to refuse a request of our better halves, no matter how unreasonable those are!

### Chapter 18: Few stories and Learnings

I looked back my life on my 55th Birthday, what I achieved, what I failed to achieve, why I failed to achieve what I wanted to achieve and finally what I learnt in these five and a half decades of my life. I want to share some of my experiences gained during these long years of life. Some of my observations, you may find funny and some of them are of serious nature. Intentionally I tried to project my tragic experiences also in a lighter vein. I have full faith in my readers' ability to understand the intrinsic values of my experiences.

I have written some short stories in between to spice up the experiences of life which otherwise may be very stale for my esteemed readers.

I found finally on my 55th birthday, why most of my male classmates became old and most of my female classmates were still young and beautiful! When we were in college, the girls used to wear mekhela-chadar/ sari, now most of them are wearing pant-shirt/ skirt (occasionally churidar etc). But we are still clutching to our old pair of pant shirt. The ladies are now with short and smart hair like we used to have in our college days. Now we get rid of those short hairs from our head permanently. It is high time; we have to think something out of box to match our counterpart!

The Experience gained here may not have any solution. But we must say, experience gained is gained (good for nothing).

Patience to Hear:

Recently, when I attended, a lecture delivered by Bill Gates at Vigyan Bhawan, New Delhi which was also attended by a galaxy of intellectuals and Cabinet Ministers, I was glad to see that the Hon'ble Prime Minister was also attending the lecture and subsequent discussions, sitting at the front row for long two and a half hours. I observed that as an ardent listener he did not utter a single word and heard the lecture and subsequent discussions with full attention. Then I realized that to reach to the top one should be a good listener along with to be an articulate speaker!

Till then, I along with many of my friends know Mr. Modi as a good orator only.

Lesson learnt during the Demonetization by Government of India during September, 2016:

On Demonetization by Government of India, I observed, Hoarding of a Different Kind. It is a pure statistical analysis: Rs.1,36 Lakh crore in new currency against Rs.10 Lakh Crore old currency which is 1/7 of the total demand, goes to the people in the first ten-eleven days. However at that time, people were not getting any money in the market, why? The reason may be simple, those who got it, they did not want to spend in the market due to insecurity! Hoarding of small denomination and new currency started. It is a habit, we should not be proud of! Again corollary to that I did not visit a bank in the first six days after demonetizing as I was able to pay all the utility bills and making payment for petrol by giving old notes (500/1000). During the extension period none had objected to take old notes. Even I was getting my changes. And I am sure, my face is not so beautiful to get some special preferences. Nor I was wearing some expensive dresses, then why many rich people including politicians were crying hoarse for the poor people.

I learnt from that episode, crying for the poor is the most fashionable way of expression for attracting others. Though, I knew long ago that crying for the poor is the USP of all the politicians.

Simple statistics on demonetization in India: Till 21.11.2016, 1.36 Lakh crore of new notes had been withdrawn. So, for 28 Crore households average withdrawal was Rs.4800/- in 14 days. Per capita household income was less than Rs.5000/- per month for majority of the households (not average) as per Socio-economic census, 2012-14 (popularly known as caste census). So where was the problem? May be a hoarding problem or uneven distribution of withdrawal. Further, old 500/1000 notes were allowed to be used and allowed to be deposited up to 30.12.2016. This information was also widely publicized.

Now the problem is over; but it exposes some of our bad habits of the people as citizens of an emerging economically powerful nation.

Wishing a Long Life:

When many people uploaded pictures how they would look at 100, I expressed my thanks to them as they had given me an opportunity to see their faces how they would be looked like at 100. As I am sure, I shall not be around to see them at their 100. I also do not want to live up to 100 years or more to see them at their 100th birth day. Rather I want to leave when all my friends are around and scream, 'What! that b--d has gone without any intimation! He was few years younger than I.'

Bless me to die in the arms of a loved one, surrounded by beautiful people; but not at the edge of a bed of a hospital surrounded by some people with white coats!

I do not know whether my prayer will be heard by God or not.

Guilt:

One fine morning I became free from a guilty feeling of being a hypocrite. Many of my close friends use to complain about me that, what I preach, I am not a man of that kind, which I never contest thinking that I may be the worst hypocrite in this world as blamed by my esteemed friends. However, on one morning, every perception about me in my own eyes had changed forever.

On that particular morning, I got a whatshup message from a young mother who does not have any respect for our culture nor any respect for the elders. She never address an elderly person with due respect, always refer teachers and senior relatives by name, gave a preaching on teaching of our children about our rich culture. I do not know if she has ever taught anything about our culture and heritage to her children. If she can give such a preaching, why can't I? Thanks to the young lady to give me a relief from carrying a burden of guilty feelings of a Hypocrite for rest of my life.

My take always from that message was, preaching and following are always different for most us. Some of us have the guts to tell the whole world about the shortcomings and rest are hypocrites only. However, you have every right to disagree with me.

For Whom the Bell Tolls:

I observed, a good Indian lives for his/her children, a bad Indian lives for the opinions of his/ her neighbours and relatives. No one is cent percent good or bad. So, I always criticize both. But one thing is for sure, most of the Indians never live for themselves. It is an Indian tragedy! Perhaps!

The worst observation in my life when Hidden Wish falls flat:

Three ladies, my sister, my daughter and my wife were sitting on the dining table while being the only male present in the house, I was preparing coffee for all of us at the kitchen.

My sister started, 'Last night I saw in my dream, thousands of girls waiting to tie rakhis on my brother's wrist. I felt so insecure, I could not sleep rest of the night!'

'How strange!' My daughter said, 'I also saw a similar dream. Thousands of young girls were queuing up to be adopted by my father as his daughters. I also got up and could not sleep rest of the night!'

My wife was also not far behind. 'I had a very busy dream last night. There was a congregation of ladies from age 18 to 80. God ordered me to find a co-wife for me (second wife for Hiranya) by asking consent from each lady present there. I asked each lady one by one and unfortunately none has given consent till seven in the morning. I felt very sorry for him. Getting the result Hiranya cried so loudly in the kitchen, I got up. Now you see how obediently he is preparing coffee for all of us in the kitchen.'

I have no comment to offer though I was wondering: how my wife was able to know about my hidden wish to have another beautiful and young wife?)

A few lines of an essay on 'Raksha Bandhan':

A festival when a sister ties decorated thread on the wrist of her own brother, cousins and whom she considers as her brother.

It is also a festival of North India, enjoyed by both the sex before the age of 13 and after the age of 39. But between the age limit 13-39, the main component of the festival, Rakhi is used to control the unruly Romeos by the unwilling Juliets. In the process many hearts are broken beyond repair.

The essay got 8.5 out of 10. To know why 1.5 mark had been deducted, I had to do lot of research and found that the teacher's heart was also broken many a times when he was in college and university on this particular day.

Do you agree with the boy who had written the essay?

Marks are nothing but some numbers:

Exactly 38 years ago I passed my 12th examination with 73.3% over all. But in English I got only 52.5%. But now I am trying my hand in writing in English on different topics (I never claim that I am writing something good for the readers). Surprisingly, some of my writings are liked by a section of readers. I am thankful to those readers for showing their love for my writings. (I am sure, now you are laughing.)

A few months ago when my youngest daughter passed her 12th with the colours of a rainbow, one extreme to the other, I was extremely happy with her result, because all the seven colours will make white colour, colour of peace and tranquility. Do not ask me her marks as she got a mark which will be more than many had scored and less than many had scored in the same examination. I take the opportunity to congratulate all those who got more than her. However, I equally am sure, some of them, those who scored less than her, will be more successful in their life; and therefore, I wish them best of luck for their future.

Through my experience in my life, I realized, marks in examination are nothing but some numbers only. How much you are successful depends upon how much you are useful to the society, to your country and over and above to humanity. Therefore, I always wish them all the best, those who appeared/ passed/ scored good marks for a better future along with the students who do not do well in the examination.

Birth and Death:

How we perceive a birth day of a loved one? When my youngest daughter turned eighteen, I gave a post on my FB. It said, 'Eighteen years ago she joined as the cutest member of our family. Still she is the cutest. But she is now going to be a responsible citizen of the country as well. Now many avenues will be opened to her. Hope God will always be kind to her. Kindly bless her on her birth day, to be a good and successful human being.'

I stressed that taking responsibility should be the most important part of any learning process.

How we perceive a death of a loved one who might not even be a relative of ours? How I reacted to death of a senior officer a few months back?

Please read what I had written on my FB. 'XXXX madam, ex DG, CSO who was my boss for more than five years as ADG SSD, CSO was more like an elder sister to me. She was like a mother to the younger generation of ISS officers working under her and elder sister for others like me who worked under her for few years. So far, our office is concerned, she was a mother or elder sister for all the staff irrespective of rank and file. Her untimely death made a void not only for me and for my family but also for anyone who knew her. I pray to the Almighty, she may be allowed to be in the heaven permanently so that she need not have to suffer again in this world of sufferings. God gives her family including her aged parent strength to overcome the tragedy.'

My take away from sad and untimely demise is that, it is not the length of your life, but your actions are important for others.

A subordinate in the eyes of Bosses:

I observed, from my experiences in the last thirty plus years of service that, the relation of the Boss and his/ her Subordinates may be kept without stress if first of all, we understand that, in an office no one is absolute boss nor none is absolute subordinate. If one is boss for someone, he/ she is subordinate to another one. Few tips to the officers/ officials to become likeable to their boss are submitted for kind consideration of all the officers/ officials as subordinates:

Never disobey your boss in front and never argue with him/ her on all his instructions/ suggestions unnecessarily.

Further never instigate your colleagues and subordinate to disobey him/her.

Never ridicule his suggestions/ instruction in public.

Never, ignore him in front of his wife in a public place.

If your boss is a traditional person refer him/ her as a custodian of old values.

If your boss is young and has some soft corner for few subordinates of opposite sex due to their contribution to the office work, never assassinate his/ her character before anyone as your boss will be reported back by someone whom you thought trustworthy for you.

If you are a lady and even if you do not want to do any official work, never threaten any of your male bosses of filing a case of sexual harassment. However, I am not saying if there is a genuine case of harassment you should not file a case of sexual harassment. If however, you file one or two cases of sexual harassment without any reason, then I am sure, you make a host of enemies for your life.

Suppose your boss is a workaholic one. You never try to submit your leave application when he/ she is doing a time bound urgent work. However, in an extreme case you have to do that, but do not do that on regular basis. In exigency you may send a sms to your boss telling that you are not coming to office whenever your boss told you on the previous day to come early for an urgent piece of work. But one should avoid that as far as possible. Otherwise, slowly he/ she becomes an enemy of you.

Suppose your current boss is a lady and you are also a lady; but your expectation is same (you were taking lot of undue advantages from your earlier male boss) from the current boss. As soon as you put up your note/ draft very casually like you did earlier, initially your boss will try to make you understand to be careful in future. At the very instance you should amend yourself. But if you do not, you may make her your enemy for ignoring her friendly advices.

Never telephone your boss in odd hours to tell him that you are not coming to office on the next day, except in the case of emergency. If you repeat this mistake (calling him/ her in odd hours) for more than once you will be making your boss an enemy of yours.

A Boss in the eyes of subordinates:

Now let us talk how a boss can be popular among his subordinates without much effort.

Reject leave applications of your subordinate once in a blue moon. However, if the person is a habitual leave seeker at the time whenever there is an urgent work in the office, you should reject his /her application with a warning, otherwise it will go a wrong signal to your hard working subordinates. Even your actions make him/ her your enemy number one, you have to take that risk to maintain discipline in the office.

Never tell your subordinates to improve the draft without telling them how to improve the drafts. In other words, always guide your subordinates how to develop their skill in making an official draft. Sometimes, you make draft yourself for someone who is hard working and willing to learn.

Never reject leave application of your subordinate if you will be also on leave during that period on the same ground. Try to adjust your leave, if you think he/ she needs the leave on a more pressing reason.

Try to avoid to let them any work for your foreign visits. If however, if you have to take help from them thank them with all genuineness without any reservation.

Give them a grade which is much above the bench mark for their promotions.

Never deny any facility to the subordinates for which they are entitled and you also take that particular benefit.

Worst Animal:

I understand that human being is the only animal in the visible world, who can eat even when his/ her belly is full. A male can go for sex when the female is not in a state of 'heat' nor for any intention for reproduction. He can kill any animal including fellow human being, not necessarily for eating, just for fun or for a revenge. Human beings are the worst animal God had produced!

**Food, a necessity or a luxury** :

In your life, if you are not from a very rich family, you may have to survive on Akhadya (no food/ prohibited food/ food with some bad tastes). All depends upon how hungry when you get those food!

I started my cooking expedition from an early age of 4(four). I would not have believed this, but my only sister, who is seven year younger than I, when she was born, my mother did not go to kitchen for a month or so, as a custom prevalent in those days in rural part of Assam, I could prepare meals for all the family members without any help or instruction from any corner. With a corollary to this fact, clearly in my own memory, I think, my mother might be truthful, that I had started my cooking journey at the tender age of 4. I still wonder how my family used to eat those akhadya (no food), cooked by this lesser mortal. Remember that in those days, we did not have any gas stove or electric heater in our family. We had to cook by burning wooden and bamboo sticks only.

You may be pondering why I had to burn my little fingers at an early age when other children were not even able to serve a glass of water to a guest. The answer lies in between social customs, economic reasons and encouragement of elderly ladies to the male folk (in this case advice came from my grandma to my father) not to do any household chores. In those days, during menstrual period a lady (in this case my mother) did not go to kitchen and servants were not allowed to cook any food (only tea was allowed) in my family. During that period, my father was also in a transition period of becoming a full-fledged family man from a hotheaded bachelor (the situation was encouraged by his mother, i.e. my grandmother). Again, please do not infer that my family was monstrous or something like that, because of those weird social behaviour! In our villages, the fate of most of the children was no different from mine. Anyhow, because of learning of few cooking skills, life of my wife becomes very cozy (no she does not admit it, contrary to that, she is very sad that I was used by my mother for her own good!).

Sometimes I think, I should have tried my hands in 'Master Chef Competition' aired by different TV channels. But, on the next moment, I use to tell myself, that those competitions are meant for those aspiring cooks, who are accustomed with kaju, kismis, badam etc.-not with ahu rice, kasu, mani-mooni saag (all the items are only available in rural India normally for poor people except the last one) etc. like me. So, the idea has been dropped like a hot potato. Here my observation is that, cooking is a necessity for the poor and cooking is a hobby for the rich.

I have observed in my life that an Akhadya for someone may be a good/excellent food for someone else. Therefore, nothing is Akhadya in the world par-se, as long as it is digestible, tasty for at least to a person or to a group of persons. So far, I am concerned, I like all types of food as long as I can digest. But still I am not taking many types of food due to many reasons, ranges from religious to personal taste. Taking food is always a personal and essential issue to survive.

Love: An Undefined Concept:

Love is mostly un-explainable. I want to share a story, a real one, about a broad mind of a young man who loves his wife even after knowing about her illicit relation with another man. His extreme realization of life is as good as that of the achievements of the great personalities in the world who are blessed by God. But he was an ordinary man. In this case, my observation was, to do an extra-ordinary work, you need not to be an extra-ordinary man.

There are some relations with some persons which are beyond normal social relations of any society. These relations are not defined in any law or in social norms. I came to know about feeling of a lady about a man on his death, whom she loves with absolute devotion but void of any expectation. The man also, perhaps loved the lady but did not say anything about his feeling till his death.

Do not be sorry:

Normal feeling about death is mourning and contrary to that, birth symbolizes happiness. But that is not true always. That is an idea I got after attending a number of funerals at different places.

### **Travelling** :

We inherit many traits from our parents, irrespective of the fact whether we like those or we do not like those at all. Liking for travelling I inherited from my mother. Even with limited resources she had travelled more places than my father, who did not like travelling at all. I have been able to pass on that instinct to my offspring even though my wife likes to stay at home more than outside.

I have already visited 34 out of 36 States and Union Territories of India. Many of the State capitals have been visited more than once and a few have been visited more than even ten times. Even after 10 visits, I am always looking forward for another visit to those cities. Why? It might be coming out of my traits or out of my habits.

Two habits are my forte: one- addressing public meetings/ students for hours and two- hunger to travel and making friends from all sorts of life. I always try to observe all the things around me minutely as far as possible though I cannot claim to be a keen observer of life. I have both good and bad experiences while travelling around the country and around the globe. But I always share my good experiences with my friends and therefore in my writing also you may find only good parts of my journey. However, for fair comparison, I mention some comparative aspects of different cities with others. In my opinion all people of the cities are good in some parameters and bad on some other parameters. Every city has some plus and some minus.

Every time, I visit a new city or a city already visited many times, I always get an opportunity to learn something. Therefore, I am encouraging my children to travel.

Writing Books:

Attempting something new is always challenging. Writing a few books in the last few years has given me the confidence to write something for the readers. Some of the books are liked by the readers more and some are liked less. That is quite natural. I did try to write few poems in my mother tongue when I was in school and college. Some of them were also published by local magazines. But somehow, I was never comfortable in writing poetry. Even after writing more than 100 odd ebooks I am yet to discover the winning formula to win the hearts of the readers: some of the books are popular and some are not at all, despite of my equal efforts to write a new book on a new subject.

A few years back, to kill boredom, I wrote a poem and posted on my facebook. To my surprise many people liked it and I got lot of encouraging comments. That is beginning of my attempt to write some poems. Some good things happened by accidents; I started believing this now.

Creation of Ghosts stories:

I personally never believe in the existence of ghost or spirit because I have never met any ghost or spirit in my 55 years of adventurous life. During the last 55 years I had to stay alone at guest houses, ordinary houses, open fields in rural areas, jungles, small towns, cities and metro polis, but never met a spirit or a ghost. But still I enjoy in reading or hearing a ghost story. Therefore, I started writing ghost stories also. All the stories in my first book on ghost, 'Beautiful Ghost' and later on some other books on ghosts were either told to me when I was a kid less than ten years of age by my relatives to deter me from going outside home at night or out of sheer imagination only. But at that time and today also those stories could not scare me, instead they amuse me. With that background, I wrote those ghost stories in my own language in my books. As readers liked my first book, I tried my hand in penning down some more stories. As a fall out of that, now many people think I have some special power to communicate with ghosts. Therefore, I realized readers are the actual boss for a writer, even with my calibre.

To satisfy my handful readers, I have written somewhere: After meeting hundreds of spirits of female all over the world, the narrator met for the first time a male spirit on a flight to Mumbai. As per the narrator, God has been kind enough to enhance his power to see and communicate with male spirits.

Despite of my repeated clarifications, some of my readers think that I have the power to communicate with ghosts. Though I enjoyed the false status sometime, I think, the readers who believe that I have that particular power, actually they may also aspire for having that imaginary power!

Sometimes I have been inspired by some real characters/ people. In one such occasion I wrote a story about a real girl who used to drive her car very fast and after one year she had gone missing from my radar. I have told many people about this particular girl and always pray to God, she should be hale and hearty. Recently when I told about this girl to a young colleague, she suggested me to write about her. So I wrote a fictitious story as meeting her after her death though the story has no relation with any living or dead person. People like the story. Somehow I must have to admit that, ghost stories are salable!

Though, as I said earlier, I never believe existence of ghosts, I feel sometimes, journey of a soul cannot be ended with his/ her death. It is like travelling in different modes covering different terrains. Good souls may continue their good works even after death and bad souls will continue their bad works unabated. This is my personal thought.

**Few Non-medical Tips to fight against Deadly Cancer** :

In a book on cancer, I wanted to write something about some ordinary people who are great fighters who defeated impending death with indomitable courage. They changed the direction of wind to their favour from a hopeless position. I took the challenge to write about them with all humility on a request from a junior lady officer. As I am not from medical profession, my stories may be seen as a laymen's point of view. All the stories are based on real life experience, but to safeguard the privacy of these heroes, I am slightly modifying their names and places of occurrence. However, as I got permission from some of the heroes or their close relatives, I revealed their identities. I got some positive responses from some of my readers, which gives me a positive attitude to write some compelling social and medical issues.

I learnt one thing from few extra-ordinary cancer patients that those fought with cancer with a positive frame of mind can defeat the dreaded disease for at least ten to fifteen years. No doubt some had left us; but with dignity and respect after completion of their duties as father, as mother, as husband, as wife, as daughter, as son or as a person working for the social order.

I was also able to find out some non-medical reasons why many of the cancer patients lost the battle of cancer without a fight. I tried to figure out some ideas through which they could have made their lives longer.

I experienced of meeting some of cancer warriors who did not last for a long time but they lived their short spans with dignity and leaving the world with happiness.

Doctor and God:

I realized some facts through a hard way. A good doctor is true representative of God. Therefore, patient should follow his advice with all humility. But one should always remember, one is empowered by God to be the master of one's body and mind. No one can be the master of your body and mind without permission of you. Most of the time we allow our family members, our superiors, our leaders to be the masters of our bodies and minds. And while we are sick we allow doctors are to be our boss. The more you allow these people to be your masters, you are going to be a slave of these people. Sometimes we allow diseases to be our master and that is the worst part of our life. Those persons, who do not allow diseases to be their masters, they can live longer or in case, even they live a short life, they can enjoy their life fully with dignity and happiness. In the book on cancer, I want to share the outlook of some of the people who are the masters of their lives and they defeated cancer or they lived with cancer with dignity. I tried to share three types of stories in that book, one who fought with cancer and won, second, who fought with cancer, but lost the battle with dignity and valour and third categories of people, who lost the battle before it was started.

My realization after meeting these patients, I would like to suggest the patients and their relatives: Go to the doctors to take advice, to consult, for surgery and to take any sort of medical treatment whenever you are sick. Let the doctors do their duties to make you fit to be able to fight your own battle. Doctors are blessed to serve you. But never let doctor to be master of your body and mind even you are sick. All doctors follow the average treatment on the basis of average experiences. Being a professional statistician, I know the loopholes of using average as a perfect measure. Always, remember you are different individual having a unique body and mind. Therefore, so long you are capable of taking decisions; do not take any decision on the 'average experience' of a particular doctor or group of doctors. For example, your doctor advises to undergo an operation at the third or fourth stage of cancer. You have to take a decision whether to go for an operation or not because you have to take a decision whether you want to help the doctor to make some experiences to develop his skills which may be helpful for other patients or you really feel that you have a better chance to survive for a longer period and so on. But never allow your relatives and doctors decide whether you should go for an operation or not. Never forget, you are the master of your body and mind (I am and shall be repeating this sentence again and again deliberately). Remember, doctors are only service provider like any other essential service providers who seldom work for charity and your relatives have their own agenda, good or bad. The persons who do not allow anyone to be master of his/her body and mind live not necessary longer but a content and happy life. The persons who can battle for their own causes are likely to live to the last breath of his life. Many of us die long before we actually die because we are not the masters of our own lives.

I became very happy, when I heard a patient was motivated from my book on cancer. He thanked for my last chapter where I tried to analyze, why some are winners and some are losers.

Not always true:

I learnt one thing after writing few books, whenever, I portray myself as the protagonist of a book, many readers think the story actually revolves around me. That is not true for most of the writers. So please jump to a conclusion the writer actually experiences those ordeals in his personal life

Books on sex, erotica have more readers than any other books. This may be due to our inherent short comings about our manhood or due to some un-full-filled desire for some impossible sexual aspirations. Therefore, when to make it more realistic, a writer writes those stories as if those incidents happened to him/ her. Please do not envy us for those beautiful encounters in those books.

Meeting the God:

We always aspire to meet the God in our life time. Many saints claim that they were able to feel the presence of God through meditation and through pure sacrifices. Main hurdle in our life is our ego to feel the presence of God. I want to tell my readers unless we get rid of our ego of being superior to others, we shall not be able to feel the essence of Almighty. But it is not that simple! But yes, once I heard the inner voice of myself and finally able to feel the essence of true happiness.

**Body Fragrance** :

Identification of a lady by her fragrance for a normal person may be illusionary and as such, it may be a psychological problem on the part of me. Therefore, relating fragrance with nature of a lady may be imaginary and is not based on any scientific study on the part of me nor it carries any scientific reasoning. But my relation with a lady depends upon her body fragrance. I have written 'melody of fragrance' keeping this concept in mind. Many people started sniffing their wives and reported back to me which gave me immense pleasure realizing that many readers actually follow my books.

First Love:

First love is always memorable. But in most of the cases, the affair closes with a tragic end. In a story, where I wrote about a love story where it was finished before it took off. The story was based on the real experience of a friend of mine. I do not know whether, this is a story of love or just an inspirational one. Both the parties were winner in their own perspectives. None was unhappy at the end, albeit for different reasons. Looking at the figures relating to downloads, my efforts has been recognized. I think it is because, many of us are having some untold tragic love stories which we seldom share with others!

Bleeding Heart:

When I was sharing something about my bleeding heart, I got rousing responses from my friends. I do not know whether these responses are basically for genuine sympathy for me or based on their own experiences.

Thankful to All Ladies:

I realized to be always thankful to all the beautiful ladies whom I love as mom, sister, daughters and most importantly the girlfriends (not necessarily all of them reciprocated) for their inspiring words and actions which are the mainstay of my life.

I realized to be always thankful to my wife who has given me three wonderful children and stayed with me for the last thirty plus years.

Not Necessarily First:

I realized through lot of interactions with many friends and foes that, the first love of any person may not be the lady whom one kisses for the first time or with whom one has slept for the first time in his life. A wife is, normally, not the first love of her husband, nor the first lady to be kissed by her husband nor with whom her husband had slept for the first time. Only a very few lucky wives can claim to be the first love of her husband and first for other actions of a male and female.

Most Undervalued subject:

I realized throughout my life that statistics is one of the most under-valued subject because of boring statisticians (including me). I tried to make the subject interesting by my own standard in my book 'Funny Statistics, Serious Statisticians,' The book does not contain any new theorems of statistics nor gives any new additions to the statistical works already available in public domain. The articles are presented in a different perspective for easily understandable language. Readers from non-statistical background may read this book as a story book and statisticians may have an idea of official statistics. Stories and sub-stories written in this book are mostly based on personal experiences of my life.

True and False:

One-day Emperor Akbar, the Great asked his trusted courtier Birbal, 'What is the distance between 'True and False?' Birbal said, 'About two inches.' When Akbar asked him to explain what he had said, Birbal explained, 'What you can see, that is true and what you hear may be false. Truth is visible and can be believed without further verification. Hearsay has always to be verified from other relevant materials and evidences. If one believes hearsay, he is likely to commit mistakes in his decision-making process.' Emperor was happy to hear the answer. But my experience in life is that, at times what you see is also not true. In one of my books, I tried to depict a story where everything was based on falsehood. But everybody, except one person, saw as if everything was right. The right person was implicated wrongly and wrong person was portrayed as an honest person. I gave the name of the book as 'Only He Knows'. Here 'He' means the protagonist and the Almighty. I am happy many readers like the concept.

Disease and Sin:

Though I personally believe that no disease can be associated with any misdeed or sin committed by a person, many people think that way, because of their religious beliefs or social teachings.

Then anyone can ask me, why I repeatedly associate adultery with cancer in a particular book. The reason is deep rooted in our minds, in our society and in our religions where we always try to associate our sufferings and misfortunes with our misdeeds. I heard the statement made by many patients, 'I have not done anything wrong, why God has punished me with this particular deadly disease?' I have no answer for that.

Abnormal Love stories:

I realized in my life that, there are some love affairs which cannot be defined as normal. I wrote in one of my books, love of the protagonist for a classmate falls in an undefined category. He was in love with the lady for long thirty-five years even though he knew all along that she was not in love with him. Bubble burst took place when the lady candidly admitted that she did not know very existence of the protagonist even as a classmate of her.

He (or me) realized that his family is real and love for any other lady is nothing but an illusion. So, my advice to all the married persons to cling to his/her spouse only.

No New Thought:

Any article which may not carry any new thoughts nor give any new philosophy towards life may also be liked by people, if it has universal appeal. The articles published in my first book are also like new packaging by small grocers, from big packets bought from large farms/ whole sellers. Stories and sub-stories in that book are written as if these are told to a group of friends after third or fourth peg of whisky. But the book has been liked by many across the globe!

All Inspired:

By criticizing and praising my books, many of my friends, directly or indirectly encouraged me to write more books, for which, I shall be always thankful to them. I realized one fact in hard way that foes and critics are equally important in our life.

Learning from a Village Girl:

I wrote a story based on a village girl who destined to win all the battles wherever she was pitted, against all the odds. However, she was not from Assam as I portrayed in the story. I have not given any name of the person who had helped her all along as an elder brother and as a mentor. I did it that way because I found some persons (number may be very less) who help intelligent poor village girls and boys to achieve their goals unconditionally.

First Days:

Always first day is an interesting day for any one. If anyone is asked which first day is the most important day and most memorable day, he/ she may ponder for an answer. I cannot say which is the most memorable day for you; but definitely I can say, which (was) the most important day is for you even though it cannot be remembered by you. For every living creature, not only for human being, the most important day is the day on which he/she/ it had born. You will agree with me that whole world revolves around you and without your birth, nothing is available or visible or sensible in this world. All the relations started the moment you had born; father mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt cousin and so on. At a later stage, you will find your boss, subordinate, master, servant and so on. But without your existence, nothing exists. So, without any doubt that is the most important day for all of us. But unfortunately, that cannot be a memorable day for you, because you were not in a position to remember that day!

Therefore, your most important day cannot be the most memorable day for you; that is for sure. For most of us, second most important day may be the most memorable day of our life if our most important day comes after we have attained our consciousness. Meeting of your life partner may be the second most important day of your life and most memorable day of your life; may be for the right reason or for the wrong reason. Birth of each child may also be some of the most important days of a person's life!

If first day is pure and clean, the first night is full of mysteries; may be full of romance-may be full of despair! But I am sure, all of you will be interested to know more about first night(s) of our lives. Why we are interested to know about first nights on different topics like first night with wife, girlfriend, at hostel, at hotel within the country, at hotel on foreign soil, in a jungle and so on relating to others? I think because we envy others. Are you not agreeable on my observations? You have every right to disagree.

Personal Life:

I wrote some stories based on my personal life. Though I was not claiming it was as an autobiography, the responses from some of my friends and readers were very strong. I like it.

**Absurd stories** :

I wrote another story of a lady who met an old good man with all good qualities but she misunderstood him totally. Her realization came through a tough test of life. She finally realized why the middle-aged man is loved by so many ladies of different ages, why parents allow their daughters to go with him even at midnight, why husbands do not hesitate to let their wives to hug him even in public places. He is unique! If he is not a father to a young girl, if he is not a son to an old lady, a brother to a lady of his own age, if he is not a friend of a lady, even then he is a man whom one can rely blindly; he will never mislead her, once she believes him.

Many people asked me whether I was the old man in the story. I said no, I do not I have all those qualities; but yes, I have some so far maintaining good and respectable relations with ladies.

Unhappy Life:

In that story, many argues that it was an extreme example of unhappy life of a lady; but I think it is not impossible to find a lady in your vicinity who is suffering all along for lack of inclusive decision making process of our family structure.

Bizarre Story:

In another book, I wrote a bizarre story or a perverted one where an old man married a young beautiful girl of his grand- daughter's age. To lure the girl, all the properties were transferred to her. However, within three months of marriage, the old man was able to garner respect and true love from the young girl!

This is the same old story of eternal love with a twist and turn at the end. Some of the readers liked it! Because we may have a hidden aspiration to have a relation with lady of half of our own age!

Why I have tried to write poem:

I realized that sometimes telling a story in prose form is time consuming. Therefore, whenever I feel that, I try my hand in poetry. We all live in some types of illusions in our day to day life. Recently, I have also developed an illusion that I can also write poems expressing my mind to the readers. My illusions have been reinforced by some 'Wow' comments made by some readers when some of the poems were posted on FB. You are welcome to burst my bubble of illusion by your harsh words like my better half.

Winning a Heart:

Every young and old in this world want to win heart of others. Majority of the people want to win heart of the opposite sex baring a minority of the people who are more interested in same sex. A number books are already available in the public domain where thousands of ways and means were written to win hearts of your love ones. But I want to share here one estimate where it is said 80% of the married people heave a sigh whenever they see an apparently happy couple holding each other's hand in public place. Therefore, I would like to go along with the majority of the married males who fail to go with their wives, hand in hand in public! This is very much alarmingly high in India because of the fact that the most of the couples carry on their togetherness because of family pressure and social compulsions rather than love between them. Further, long and tedious divorcing process may be one of the reasons for which the couple try to continue their married life through adjustments. In India, divorcing process for most of communities, ladies have upper hand compared to their counter parts. However, for a particular community, it is the other way around! I tried my hand to elicit this complex issue in a book. My book will not encourage any divorcing process of married couple of any communities; rather it will discuss how a person can scuttle his opportunity to win a girl's heart by his own deeds.

Like in all my books, I was in the centre stage as the whipping boy for failing to win heart of beautiful ladies. In some sub-stories, I have been portrayed as a close friend of the loser; though not necessarily, I or my friend was always the fallen guy in love affairs. To protect the dignity of the people who are known to me and fail to win heart of their love ones, I projected in all those stories as it happened to me or my faceless friends in the hands of many damsels. Surprisingly people liked those stories. May be they had also committed those mistakes in their lives while trying their luck for winning the heart of respective lady love!

How to say a no:

There is a reference in the famous book 'The God Father- Part-I" of Mario Puzzo on saying 'No'. Success of a person depends upon his/ her saying a 'No' to a proposal. How to say a 'no' depends upon the situation under what condition, you have to say a 'No'. Keeping the central theme of a 'no', you may have to convey the message without actually pronouncing the word 'No'. Sometimes you may have to say an empathic 'No' and sometimes a very apologetic 'No'. For example, you may have to say a 'No' to your children very strongly when their demands are not reasonable. But when your boss (or someone, very powerful) asks for something unreasonable from you, you may not be that straight forward. But you must have to convey the message that you are not going to fulfil his/her unreasonable demand(s). Remember, saying 'yes' is the easiest answer anybody can give (Fulfilment of the promise is, however, another factor). Sometimes, a 'no' may cost thousands of lives (best example: Destruction of Spanish Armada). Therefore, while saying a 'No' to someone, sometimes, you have to be very cautious/diplomatic, as this may jeopardize your/your family's security in terms of physical or financial or may be both. In many occasions, we have to say 'Yes' instead of a 'No' to quell over an impending storm. Sometimes, you cannot reject a foolish suggestion of your boss/ friend/well-wisher, because you think that, you may lose goodwill of a person or a good friend or just a well-wisher by just saying a 'No' to his/ her suggestion. Sometimes you do not say 'No' at a particular moment, as at that time you want to avoid an argument due to various compulsive reasons.

But some persons have a habit to start any sentence by saying a "No'. For example, if you ask him/her when he is returning from market, (you know the fact), 'Are you returning from the market? His answer would be, 'No, I am returning from the market.' Those persons are known for their negativity. For them saying a 'No' is not difficult. But to mean it- for them also, sometimes, it is very difficult. The person who starts with a 'no' is a negative minded person, one should avoid dealings with such person as far as possible.

If you muster the art of saying 'No' when you mean it, you will be definitely a successful person.

Forgiving Enemies:

I am told by many persons many a times that I should forgive my enemies. In reality, it is real tough to forgive your enemies. I also know, that will be good for me. Even I tried many a times to forgive all my enemies but, I failed to do so because it really needs very strong will power to do. Probably, I do not have that strong will power to forgive those, b—d. But I am trying to be strong enough to forgive my enemies.

Biggest Enemy:

A few days back, a thought struck me. Do my enemies actually harm me or not? Or harm has been done by somebody else? Yes, I feel sometimes, friends and relatives are more harmful than my enemies because, sometimes they are more demanding than necessary. Sometimes, even meeting them at their places or at your own place, made you exhausted, but still they may not be satisfied. This affects your health-both mentally and physically. But these are necessary evils in our life. This problem is not only for me; even I may be a problem for others. That is the beauty of keeping friends; occasionally to disturb them!

Friend and Foe:

Who are our enemies? We see some of them (human and animals) and some we cannot see through our naked eyes (virus, bacteria, worms inside our bodies etc). But our bigger enemies are living inside you; in your mind. They are like worms in your stomach, they live on your blood; they suck your blood day and night, but you cannot get rid of them permanently. When you take de-worming medicine, they will lie low for few months and again they will raise your heads and start sucking your blood gleefully. But seldom have we counted these enemies, rather conveniently we try to forget those.

What are those enemies? Our desire to have those things for which, we may not be deserving candidate and lusts for someone who are not supposed to be ours. These are bigger enemies than those seen by others or at least detected by medical tests conducted in the most sophisticated laboratories. Desire for better life is not wrong-but desire to have someone else's property or someone else spouse is dangerous and sometimes may be fatal. Lust leads to sins and sins lead to death.

Finally, since I cannot control those enemies residing in my mind totally, I do not have any moral right to hate my enemies, particularly those human enemies, who did actually very little harm to me. This is my latest (no, not the last one) realization towards the enemies.

Nobody should go through:

When my wife was seriously ill in 1995, I realized only husband has to look after his wife when she is in distress if he wants her to recover. Nobody can be closer than a husband for his wife. Her confidence level goes up when she sees her husband sitting beside her all-along!

Few one liners of wisdom:

Father is the most understated hero.

Always love yourself which includes your body, mind and your family.

Never consider your neighbours as your enemies.

Always believe in yourself.

Do not try to find a reason to laugh or smile or to help others.

Always try to find out a way to avoid to become unhappy, angry and revengeful.

The author is a Government servant and a man of vivid experiences derived from his official postings across the country, travels across India and numerous visits outside India. He is presently placed at New Delhi.

His earlier publications are:

1. Random Thoughts through a Coloured Prism (hard copies available)

2. Dilemma of a Young Mind

3. Funny Statistics and Serious Statisticians

4. Melody of Fragrance (hard copies available)

5. Akhadya

6. Few Cities through the Lens of Hiranya Borah

7. Guilt: Gift of Winter Spring (hard copies available)

8. Beautiful Ghost  
9. Great Fighters: Grace of God

10. All Blurred

11. Putting kids to sleep

12. How to become unpopular

13. Soulmates

14. My grumpy Face

15. Love and Worries

16. Discussion of own Birth: A Taboo

17. Interview

18. Indecent Love Affairs

19. My Fair Lady

20. Waiting time

21. Two Stories

22. My Mother: Dashami Borah

23. Parineeta

24. Manorama

25. Unwanted

26. First Attempt

27. A father

28. The Portrait

29. Snapped Thread

30. Only He Knows

31. The Stupid Mother

32. The Same Old Story

33. The Old Scoundrel

34. Third Attempt

35. Some of my First Days and First Nights

36. Snubbed Twice

37. Have You Met the God

38. Frequent Flier

39. Messiah

40. Forgive and Forget

41. To Win or to lose

42. Call Girl

43. Beyond Blood Relation

44. Lady with a Black Car

45. My wife

46. Complete Woman

47. Diwali Gift

48. Romance with a Lady

49. Open Heart Surgery

50. My First Love

51. Replacement

52. Pebbles on My Way Home

53. My First Bengali Book

54. Murder Mystery

55. Niharika

56. Swapping

57. Make a Habit to Thank God

58. Killing of a Bird

59. The Hero

60. Fantasy versus Reality

61. The Party

62. Road Rage

63. Death of a Friend

64. Cannot Live with Memory Only

65. None Cares for Me

66. A Tribute to My Guru

67. Two Professionals

68. The Choice

69. The Elusive Spouse

70. First Encounter with A P

71. Plane Crash

72. Plane Crash Part-II

73. Plane Crash Part-III

74. Abducted

75. A Bag of Currency

76. Suitable Groom

77. Head Hunters

78. My Dear Sister

79. Selection While Waiting at the Airport

80. Oh Shit

81. Perverse

82. He Got Back His Wife

83. Beautiful Faces

84. Elder Sister

85. Good Morning

86. Prey

87. Pass on your Death to Someone Else

88. Colour of Holi

89. Why blame others

90. A Forbidden Issue

91. Hat-trick of Failures

92. Agony of Writers

93. Contrasts

94. Three Directors

95. An Unusual Love Affair

96. Birth Day

97. Do not Tell Anyone

98. Anupama

99. Late By Ten Years

100. Murder in a Foreign City

101. Strange Life

102. I love You Darling

103. Falsehood

104. Lady in the Park

105. Do Anything, I Shall comment

106. Professionalism

107. Art of Flirting

108. Are We Human

109. Old man and a Dog

110. Relation with Relatives

111. Sun and Cloud

112. My Second Lover

113. In a Meeting

114. Love at First Sight

115.A Psalm of Life

116.He Wants a Solution

117. Wings

118. Twenty-five Love Stories ( **under Print** )

119. Me and a Dozen Plus One Ghost Stories

120. Aparajeeta: Twenty Seven Short Stories

121. Nothing Official As Such

122. Illustrated Kids' Story

123. Hundred Ways to F & F your Popularity

Connect with him

Email: hbmb@rediffmail.com

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