
# Dingleberry Haze (1994)

(Cheese Factory Records)

## Go Down

Step back 'cause the bass is fuzzin'  
Bloodhound gang bangs more than the dirty dozen  
Alley oop here comes the slam I know where I stand  
I'm feelin' like anthrax 'cause you know I'm the man  
Yea I dug your dame but all I did was kiss her  
But I got to second base with your mom and your sister  
I'll wipe the grin off your face like I was a can of Windex  
I threw a right I threw a right was it live or memorex

Go down down deep deep in and out quick  
'Cause I'm harder than Chinese Arithmetic  
Now my fist is in your face 'cause you stood in my way  
You tried to talk your shit and your ass got paid  
I get stupid like the Mongoloid Corky  
Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order  
'Cause I'm cold kicken lyrics like my arm was on fire  
Like Pinocchio my nose don't grow 'cause I ain't no liar

Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all

Clap it on, clap it off sniff my exhaust  
'Cause I got more steps than Barishnikov  
Like a pair of wet, a pair of wet, a pair of wet jeans  
You don't understand but your girl knows what I mean  
So I kicks my rhymes kind of complex  
A text of intricate words and other spoken effects  
Like a preacher on the mount teaching things he doesn't follow  
When you tried to hit the brake but pushed on the throttle

Mr. Goody two shoes picture the scenario  
Your girl blew me as I blew your stereo  
I got more bass than a baseball diamond  
Don't put me on your chalkboard 'cause I'm not down with Simon  
Sonic boom in your room assume your not there  
Booty licken nugget picken with your dad downstairs  
Love is just a fallacy I got more force than gravity  
I can run all night like an Energizer Battery

Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all

## Cheese Tidbit

Dear chasey lain  
I wrote to explain  
Im your biggest fan  
I just wanted to ask  
Could I eat your ass?  
Write back as soon as you can

Youve had a lotta dick  
Had a lotta dick  
Ive had a lotta time  
Had a lotta time  
Youve had a lotta dick chasey  
But you aint had mine

Dear chasey lain  
I wrote to complain  
Ya never wrote me back  
How could I ever eat  
Your ass when ya treat  
Your biggest fan like that?

Youve had a lotta dick  
Had a lotta dick  
Ive had a lotta time  
Had a lotta time  
Youve had a lotta dick chasey  
But you aint had mine

Dear chasey lain  
I wrote to constrain  
This letter is my last  
As your biggest fan  
I must demand  
You let me eat your ass

Youve had a lotta dick  
Had a lotta dick  
Ive had a lotta time  
Had a lotta time  
Youve had a lotta dick chasey  
But you aint had mine

P.s.  
Mom and dad this is chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show em them titties  
Now show em them titties  
P.s.  
Mom and dad this is chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show em them titties  
Now show em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

## Legend In My Spare Time

Bloodhound Gang is here to get it on  
So rock on brothers, rock on

Ashes to ashes and funks to funky  
Daddy Long Legs is a mean ass honky  
And Jimmy Pop ain't no heiny hobbit gaybe  
Ain't no big meaty chunks in my thick brown gravy

'Cause I'm a Loch Ness, a Loch Ness, a Loch Ness monster  
Jerry's Kids are knockin' at my door, "Could you be a sponsor?"  
Tiny Bubbles in my tub pull my finger Lawrence Welk  
If you wanna look like Rocky Dennis better drink your milk

When I'm feeling Oriental I gotta rub my chin  
I'm gonna hold my water in like I'm Gunga Din  
So have a taste of my bass 'cause the girlies got smiles  
You get on my case like the Rockford Files

Crazy Eddie in the slammer 'cause he's giving it all away  
John Boy in the barn with a horse in the hay  
No rhyme, no reason, no job, no class  
And we don't go near the ghetto 'cause they'd shoot our ass

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah' yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

If you ain't ever been to the suburbs  
Don't you ever come to the suburbs  
'Cause you wouldn't understand the suburbs

'Cause I'm a huskin', a huskin' a huskin' your corn  
I'm as deep as a plot to a gay porn  
So uh, oh Spaghettios I forgot to hide away the body  
I know that she's a hotty but damn that girl could party

So come to me momma it ain't no crime  
I'm a skilled love doctor growlin', "What's your sign?"  
Did the Flamin' Waffle with Ho Chi Min  
Your girl's a dollar bill 'cause we don't know where she's been

J.F.K.'s head's a puzzle and your woman needs a muzzle  
Barbara Eden in the bottle and now I'm gonna guzzle  
You're too what? Shy shy huh what?  
Hush, hush yea? I knew why

'Cause we're playing the Palladium can't get on Star Search  
Daddy Legs standing tall he can do the Funky Lurch  
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop is short for Jimmy Jimmy Popular  
You know I know you know your not the tough guy  
That I thought you were

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

'Cause I wopbobaloobop  
Ha, cha, cha, chatch  
Come lick my balls  
Vive la my crotch

'Cause your daddy thinks I'm lazy, your momma thinks I'm crazy  
But neither of them know that you are carrying my baby  
And I'm the Amos, I'm the Andy, I'm the sticky Aunt Jemammy  
I gave you mouth to mouth like Resuscitation Annie

It takes two of us to do this like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis  
And your throat is swollen gloryholen' ya blew us  
George Burns' pacemaker beats steady slow and low  
That's why we got more hits then a dealer at a Dead show

Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

## Neighbour Invasion

(Doorbell rings twice)

Hello there, I's your new neighbor

(Door shuts)

## Mama Say

It goes one two three when I'm kicking the funky lyrics  
I'm busting up vocabulary I want you all to hear it  
I'm busting up the rhythm 'cause I'm busting up the rhyme  
I'm kicking down the stop posts 'cause I wanna kicks the time

I'm digging down some knowledge 'cause you know I never hide it  
When I'm pulling down your panties 'cause I want to get inside it  
Like a boa a, boa a, boa constrictor  
Gonna drop off your drawers, shoot straight for your sphincter

I could roll my rhymes but I would be faking  
Jimmy, Jimmy Pop is not Jamaican  
J I double M Y Pop go  
I run the show like Don Pardo

With a Bugaloo Bee on the beboo tip  
My hit will make you trip 'cause I'm quadradipped  
I'll do the Popeye, Pluto I'll freak the funkfazooto  
Not Latino what I mean though fuzzy dice like Menudo

Rubber baby, buggy's bumpers  
Punky's Brewsters now I hump her  
With my itsy bitsy, teeny weenie  
Shrunken small white peenie

So rinse spit swallow brain blank kinda hollow  
Not to deep leap wow oh kinda shallow  
'Cause we're in your face like Ed Gein  
Purple rain, purple rain

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Naughty by nature and white by choice  
And the sound of my voice makes your panties moist  
'Cause I'm finger lickin' happy like a gay proctologist  
So like a dyke with hollow tits I'll rip the mike with hollow tips

Yeah, he's in control like Sherman Potter  
And I got more balls then the Harlem Globetrotters  
Jimmy Pop, Jimmy Pop, rah, rah, rah  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Now I'm floating out your pipes like a Village People sump pump  
I always take a swallow 'cause you know I never get enough  
So batter up Bruce Banner if you think you're going to measure up  
You can't be the top dog gotta be the Scooby Pup

Step to the bass drum always gotta have fun  
If you add two halves you'll always get the total sum  
My steps are correct and my mike is always checked  
And when a punk is in effect you know he's gonna get wrecked

I don't want to start no blasphemous rumors  
But I think that Sinbad's got a lousy sense of humor  
Little children unattended better get my poison candy  
Don't care about y'all as long as we feel dandy

And I get the poon from Judy Blume  
Mr Hooper's dead so why don't you give me his broom  
So come on chickey baby let's go make some noise  
What? No I'm not the guy from the Beastie Boys

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

## Rang Dang

So set your phasers on kill if ya will so catch the feeling  
Got your head a pumping a back and forth until it hits the ceiling  
Now I'm wheeling, dealing, stealing, Johnny's apple seeds  
Slapped you with a baseball bat upside the head until it bleeds

Showing no mercy step like Solomon Grundy  
Hit ya with a table leg like I was Ted Bundy  
I bludgeoned you you're bloodied, you think it's kinda of funny  
First I'll take your money and then I'll swipe your honey

Dip slip to the A.M. what is that you're saying?  
You think you start praying, it's not a game you're playing  
Pump one, pump two, listen to the shotgun blast  
I'll blast that sorry ass when you're all outta gas

Well, I freak like cerebral pals, I'll get inside your drawers  
For alarm there is no, 'cause I funk like Lou Rawl  
Basco Roscoe P. Coltrane  
I wish I had a membrane so that I could go insane

Red light, green light, you know I always win this game  
You can be my gingerbread and I'll be your candycane

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

No chance in hell but I could tell you crave me  
Frisky from the whiskey and the thrills you gave me  
Taste great but less filling, so thrilling  
Come unannounced like automatic billing

And you can't do nothing as I push your buttons  
When I talk you're gonna listen like I'm E.F. Hutton  
Like Lionel Richie's up, 'All night long'  
Jimmy Pop don't do nobody wrong

Stop, flop, flip and flop  
Panties drop now I'm on top  
So wiggle it just a little bit  
I won't kiss your ass to get a piece of it

You said you wanted to do it now you're coming around to it  
I'm the one that sowed the seed but you're the one that grew it  
Take it blow by blow like Reginald Denny  
I do it all the time, how many?

Many Frauleins I'm coming again like Jesus  
And when I resurrect I'll be damned if I don't please you  
Our Jimmy Pop that art in hell hear it  
Fill me with your Holy Spirit

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Einie meanie miney moe  
Which of you girls will be my ho'  
Cross your fingers, grit your teeth  
'Cause the Bloodhound Gang makes holes in beef

We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef

So watch your back straight to the attack  
I'll spin you around like your name was Pat Sajak  
Tag your ass out and no tag backs  
You psycho nymphomaniac

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

## Earlameyer The Butt Pirate

Ahoy, sissy!  
Whatcha got in your mouth sissy?

## One Way

Jimmy Pop's not a pooper, not a pauper but a popper  
And I got more pop than Orville Redenbacher  
And I got more gravy than the whole Gravy Train  
When I'm kooky, going loopy like a man insane  
I won't be around when the world ends  
So the only thing that I'll recycle is your girlfriend  
Aww yeah, back to the side I jump up, I swing  
When I'm using knock 'em sock 'em ya know I'm playing it to win

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria  
See you later salamander 'cause I wouldn't want to be ya  
I'm a chip, I'm a pringle 'cause you know I got the flavor  
Pop me up in your mouth like I was a Life Saver  
Ain't got no soul but I got more than Don Henley  
I'm whiter than Casper but I'm not that friendly  
Marco Polo you tried to fly solo  
Make your thoughts vocal, I'll put ya in a choke hold

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

I'm a gangster, no, I'm a gangster bitch  
Your momma gave me head, your girlie gave me the itch  
So scratch it till the bass beats fast, listen to the shotgun blast  
In the oven you'll get burned or in the tank that you'll get gassed  
Fake-o like Bacos, never mistake though  
Showing up, painted up, fresh from Macco  
Now I'm comin' in in stereo, rounder than a Cheerio  
Quick to fill your fix and I'm dizzier than a merry-go

Rock this obnoxious, I'm truly not nice  
'Cause I'm blood sucking evil like Muppets on ice  
Arriba, arriba I'm the under achiever  
Gonna leave it to beaver, I'm the daydream believer  
I'm like Mothra man with my big wingspan  
And your the mother fucking jap that killed my offspring Chan  
I'm a menace to society, I'm gonna fill the prophecy  
First I'll drink your Genesee and then I'll take your liberty

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

Di Di Mao, you burn village down  
You bring family over we all Wang Chung  
I'm a tarantula in your Chiquita  
And when you're peeling back the skin I'm gonna see ya  
I'm gonna bite ya, I'm gonna bite ya  
I'm Jimmy Pop, I'll tell you straight up I don't like ya  
'Cause I'm cold kicking lyrics till the day I die  
Many fail to copy but at least they still try  
Busting up vocabulary is what I do most  
I'm gonna spread your legs like butter and gobble ya up like toast

You went for the cherry, you went bobbing for the apple  
But the apple it be rotten and you had to eat the scrappple  
Scrapple? Pig meat from a pig pen, hog leftovers, your girlfriend  
So I flex to the effects and I don't care what nobody thinks  
I'm eatin' up your sherbert and dropping all your Tiddiley Winks  
Whoops goes my arm, I think it's outta socket  
Come over here little girlie I got some candy in my pocket

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

## Shitty Record Offer

Take good, take bad, take gold  
And may you have facts of life  
The facts of life

Now the world don't move  
To the beat of just one drum  
What might not for you  
Might not for some

Different Strokes, Different Strokes  
Different Strokes to the world  
Charles in charge of our days and our nights

## Coo Coo Ca Choo

Coo coo ca choo baby you that's what you are  
You are a Hollywood star you're the high priestess by far  
And you know this tune's for you we call it, "Coo Coo Ca Choo"  
And it's a very brief description of the things we could do to you  
{You're body is incredible}

So you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo now what ya gonna do?

Oil me up quick Ms. Daisy before I'm lubing up your tailpipe  
Or the bedposts will be a knocking and  
A knocking 'til the break of light  
Raised and dazed in a million and one ways  
Like a Morton coffee roll I want you hot and glazed

So you're not the real thing baby you're Parkay you're not butter,  
You're gonna have to get you home and lube you up with Fluffernutter  
Scope it, scope it, baby looking so fit  
Playing games and laying dames you know I know you know it  
Now you're quick to get the condom that Jimmy's gonna fit too snug  
Lean you against the fire place and ride you on the bear skin rug

Chow down my ding dong come and sing along  
Slip a grip around my tip and then you'll be my Klingon  
Now in my sweat pants you're gonna see my erection  
Ooh oh pick a de pop pop perfection  
Umpla dumpla dippedee do  
'Cause I'd never leave the house if mommy looked like you

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Butter up butter cup, did ya really think  
It'd really last that long  
My attention span hutches and when  
You wake up you know that I'll be gone  
Cocoa butter beach blonde wearing that thin thong  
You know I got a thing for you it's only an inch long  
Picking up your signals like a TV station  
I'm looking for the channel to have immoral applications  
Looking so fine Cosmo behind  
Fermentation of time like Riunite wine  
So I'm bubbling and steaming like an active volcano  
I think I clogged up all your pipes get yourself some Draino

I get annoyed 'cause I can't avoid  
Baby sounding like a mongoloid  
I got the skills to keep ya busy all night  
If you do not bite I hope you blow like dynamite  
Happy Thanksgiving, would you like a little white meat?  
I'll stuff my butter balls then you can eat

So you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Now you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Now you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me  
You were looking at me

## Live At The Apollo

Let's Hear It One More Time For Mister, Gary, Coleman!  
Yes, Whatchu Talkin' About Willis? That Joint Is Funny Everytime I Hear It!  
Alright... Yes  
Let's Put Your Hands Together Now, Harlem  
For, That's Right, Harlem  
That's Right, Sit Down, Harlem  
For the Blood, Hound, Gang!

Yo Wassup Apollooo?!  
Everybody Say "Ho!"  
Get Off the Stage Honkie Boys  
Sit Down! Sit Them White Devils Down!  
Except the Fat One.  
Yeah We Gonna Cook Him Up, Man.

# Use Your Fingers (1995)

(Columbia Records)

## Rip Taylor is God

Hey! Da dee dada dee da da  
This is Rip Taylor  
Hey there sprinkle genies!  
Haha!  
Did you know that midgets make up a small percentage of the population?  
Hah!  
Not half, up to here, HAHA HEY!  
Woo  
But seriously, don't you think it's time we had a female president?  
With big gazooms? Tatee tattoo tees?  
Tatta ta too tatas?  
Baba bing bangs?  
Big jugs, get it?  
Hello Dolly  
Is this microphone on? Hello? Anybody out there can they hear me?  
Somebody call my agent, my hair is lifting!  
Please, what am I doing here?  
You're probably saying to yourself  
"Why the HELL would a comedic virtuoso like, Rip Taylor,  
want anything to do with those half-witted white trash crotch  
goblins The Bloodhound Gang?"  
Oh! Well listen folks, the answer is very simple..  
Haha... American cashito, dollareenies, no cheques!  
They paid me you hiney hopper why else?  
Oh I'm getting moist!  
I mean come on, let's face it kids, pardon me... but they are  
a bunch of knuckleheads!

## We Are the Knuckleheads

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

If you would be the peanut butter then I would play the jelly  
I'll peel apart your bread and then I'll penetrate your belly  
Your blood stains mighty bad I wash it off with Coast  
Now I'll take my jelly and spread it on your toast

No one rhymes faster, the mic is my blaster  
So grasp some Shasta, the mighty mic master  
Giving you communion with your lips on my cup  
Pump, pump, pump, pump me up

Now if you're the waterboy then I'm the heavyweight contender  
I'm gonna mix you all up like a Black and Decker blender  
If you would be the Telstar then I'd have to be defender  
I'll be out in just four weeks I was a first offender

Your a dumb ass stupid Vera and I'm the one that Flo calls Mel  
Puttin' holes right through your body like Harvey Keitel  
You're a broken down Big Wheel, I'm a banana-seated Schwinn  
{Take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in}

I'm a leggo-Eggo maniac I'm stickier than some Fun Tack  
Trip to the store and get another six pack  
Bomb dropping like at ground zero  
Like Colonel Klink is getting fucked by Hogan's Heroes

Oh, eenie meanie miney mo you took your shot you missed  
I wasn't a good boy this year, I'm not on Santa's list  
I gave your girl some sausage and than I slit your wrists  
Now I'm taking your ass out like my name was Burgeous Meredith

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

Fast fast quick Bic like ass when you pass gas  
You threw it like a girl that's why you got picked last  
And Mr. Easy does it never did it now did he  
Jesus is coming so look busy

And you and your chumps are gonna get your lumps  
I got the goose that laid the golden egg you got goose bumps  
'Cause I'm black y'all, it's a fact y'all  
And if you try to take what's mine I'll take it back y'all

I wish all skinheads smelled like Mr. Clean  
And that girl from Jersey really was nineteen  
'Cause the whole damn world would be peachy keen  
With Rip Taylor on the cover of every magazine so go

Rip, Rip, Rip Taylor  
Rip, Rip, Rip Taylor  
Rip Taylor, Rip Taylor  
Your girlfriend we nailed her

My mom's got opposable thumbs  
Your mom's Weezie Jefferson  
I'd rather eat fresh heiny chow  
{And I ain't crazy about no goddamn butthole know how}

Batter roll and whip you like a fuckin' kanoli  
If Satan had a hockey team then I'd be the goalie  
'Cause we're dumber than driftwood, dumber than your Mama  
Dumber than a supermodel, dumber than Kwanza

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We are the knuckleheads  
Who's the knuckleheads?  
We're the knuckleheads

## Legend in My Spare Time

Bloodhound Gang is here to get it on  
So rock on brothers, rock on

Ashes to ashes and funks to funky  
Daddy Long Legs is a mean ass honky  
And Jimmy Pop ain't no heiny hobbit gaybe  
Ain't no big meaty chunks in my thick brown gravy

'Cause I'm a Loch Ness, a Loch Ness, a Loch Ness monster  
Jerry's Kids are knockin' at my door, "Could you be a sponsor?"  
Tiny Bubbles in my tub pull my finger Lawrence Welk  
If you wanna look like Rocky Dennis better drink your milk

When I'm feeling Oriental I gotta rub my chin  
I'm gonna hold my water in like I'm Gunga Din  
So have a taste of my bass 'cause the girlies got smiles  
You get on my case like the Rockford Files

Crazy Eddie in the slammer 'cause he's giving it all away  
John Boy in the barn with a horse in the hay  
No rhyme, no reason, no job, no class  
And we don't go near the ghetto 'cause they'd shoot our ass

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah' yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

If you ain't ever been to the suburbs  
Don't you ever come to the suburbs  
'Cause you wouldn't understand the suburbs

'Cause I'm a huskin', a huskin' a huskin' your corn  
I'm as deep as a plot to a gay porn  
So uh, oh Spaghettios I forgot to hide away the body  
I know that she's a hotty but damn that girl could party

So come to me momma it ain't no crime  
I'm a skilled love doctor growlin', "What's your sign?"  
Did the Flamin' Waffle with Ho Chi Min  
Your girl's a dollar bill 'cause we don't know where she's been

J.F.K.'s head's a puzzle and your woman needs a muzzle  
Barbara Eden in the bottle and now I'm gonna guzzle  
You're too what? Shy shy huh what?  
Hush, hush yea? I knew why

'Cause we're playing the Palladium can't get on Star Search  
Daddy Legs standing tall he can do the Funky Lurch  
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop is short for Jimmy Jimmy Popular  
You know I know you know your not the tough guy  
That I thought you were

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah, yeah, huh, what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

'Cause I wopbobaloobop  
Ha, cha, cha, chatch  
Come lick my balls  
Vive la my crotch

'Cause your daddy thinks I'm lazy, your momma thinks I'm crazy  
But neither of them know that you are carrying my baby  
And I'm the Amos, I'm the Andy, I'm the sticky Aunt Jemammy  
I gave you mouth to mouth like Resuscitation Annie

It takes two of us to do this like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis  
And your throat is swollen gloryholen' ya blew us  
George Burns' pacemaker beats steady slow and low  
That's why we got more hits then a dealer at a Dead show

Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time  
Go, go, yeah yeah, huh what?  
I'm a legend in my spare time

## B.H.G.P.S.A.

The following Public Service Announcement  
Is brought you by an intoxicated homeless man

Try throwin' your socks in the trash  
Before they got the holes in the feet

Sponsored by Bloodhound Gang Hate Local Number 138

## Mama Say

It goes one two three when I'm kicking the funky lyrics  
I'm busting up vocabulary I want you all to hear it  
I'm busting up the rhythm 'cause I'm busting up the rhyme  
I'm kicking down the stop posts 'cause I wanna kicks the time

I'm digging down some knowledge 'cause you know I never hide it  
When I'm pulling down your panties 'cause I want to get inside it  
Like a boa a, boa a, boa constrictor  
Gonna drop off your drawers, shoot straight for your sphincter

I could roll my rhymes but I would be faking  
Jimmy, Jimmy Pop is not Jamaican  
J I double M Y Pop go  
I run the show like Don Pardo

With a Bugaloo Bee on the beboo tip  
My hit will make you trip 'cause I'm quadradipped  
I'll do the Popeye, Pluto I'll freak the funkfazooto  
Not Latino what I mean though fuzzy dice like Menudo

Rubber baby, buggy's bumpers  
Punky's Brewsters now I hump her  
With my itsy bitsy, teeny weenie  
Shrunken small white peenie

So rinse spit swallow brain blank kinda hollow  
Not to deep leap wow oh kinda shallow  
'Cause we're in your face like Ed Gein  
Purple rain, purple rain

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Naughty by nature and white by choice  
And the sound of my voice makes your panties moist  
'Cause I'm finger lickin' happy like a gay proctologist  
So like a dyke with hollow tits I'll rip the mike with hollow tips

Yeah, he's in control like Sherman Potter  
And I got more balls then the Harlem Globetrotters  
Jimmy Pop, Jimmy Pop, rah, rah, rah  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Now I'm floating out your pipes like a Village People sump pump  
I always take a swallow 'cause you know I never get enough  
So batter up Bruce Banner if you think you're going to measure up  
You can't be the top dog gotta be the Scooby Pup

Step to the bass drum always gotta have fun  
If you add two halves you'll always get the total sum  
My steps are correct and my mike is always checked  
And when a punk is in effect you know he's gonna get wrecked

I don't want to start no blasphemous rumors  
But I think that Sinbad's got a lousy sense of humor  
Little children unattended better get my poison candy  
Don't care about y'all as long as we feel dandy

And I get the poon from Judy Blume  
Mr Hooper's dead so why don't you give me his broom  
So come on chickey baby let's go make some noise  
What? No I'm not the guy from the Beastie Boys

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
(Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa)

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa  
Mama say, mama sa, mama cu sa

## Kids in America

Looking out a dirty old window.  
Down below the cars in the city go rushing by.  
I sit here alone and I wonder why.

Friday night and everyone's moving.  
I can feel the heat but it's soothing.  
Heading down, I search for the beat in this dirty town.

Down town the young ones are going.  
Down town the young ones are growing.

We're the kids in America.  
Everybody live for the music-go-round.

Bright ligths the music get faster.  
Look boy, don't check on your watch, not another glance.  
I'm not leaving now, honey not a chance.

Hot-shot, give me no problems.  
Much later baby you'll be saying never mind.  
You know life is cruel, life is never kind.

Kind hearts don't make a new story.  
Kind hearts don't grab any glory.

Come closer, honey that's better.  
Got to get a brand new experience.  
Feeling right.  
Oh don't try to stop baby.  
Hold me tight.

Outside a new day is dawning.  
Outside Suburbia's sprawling everywhere.  
I don't want to go baby.  
New York to East California.  
There's a new wave coming I warn you.

## You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission  
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'  
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless  
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus

And Daddy gonna get some, probably underage and dumb  
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young  
Lupus in the lavatory, makin' a big stink  
Messin' up the toilet seat and poopin' in the sink

M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup  
Waitin' for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up  
'Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale  
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales

Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed  
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz  
With my beers, tinted glasses, I'm ready to bitty battle  
I'm hungry like the wolf but I'll end up tending cattle

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie  
Mr.Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty  
'Cause I'm Mr.Mcfeelie with a speedy delivery  
You'd think I was a ditch, the way this chick was diggin' me

But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be  
Hey Lupus is she cute? Yeah, for a pygmie  
Aw, what do you know? You're probably goin' home alone  
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone

Plus beauty, it's only skin deep  
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak  
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can  
It's a mnage trois, you and me and Heineken

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Regrets I've had a few  
First and foremost I'd like to mention you

For the sake of conversation, we'll call you the Brand New Heavy  
You're a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy  
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut  
You're Buddha, you're Shamu, you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt

You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy  
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry  
It was 3 a.m. and I wasn't gettin' squat  
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot

I was butterin' rolls like a soup kitchen Christian  
Then it hit me, something bit me while my little rod was fishin'  
I was deep sea fishing, I took a fat chance  
But how was I supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants

At that junction I came to realize  
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size  
Fatty fatty boom ba latty, I gotta lament  
That you were not a girl, you were an experiment

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

## The Evils of Placenta Hustling

Excuse me, have you seen my wife's placenta ?

## One Way

Jimmy Pop's not a pooper, not a pauper but a popper  
And I got more pop than Orville Redenbacher  
And I got more gravy than the whole Gravy Train  
When I'm kooky, going loopy like a man insane  
I won't be around when the world ends  
So the only thing that I'll recycle is your girlfriend  
Aww yeah, back to the side I jump up, I swing  
When I'm using knock 'em sock 'em ya know I'm playing it to win

The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria  
See you later salamander 'cause I wouldn't want to be ya  
I'm a chip, I'm a pringle 'cause you know I got the flavor  
Pop me up in your mouth like I was a Life Saver  
Ain't got no soul but I got more than Don Henley  
I'm whiter than Casper but I'm not that friendly  
Marco Polo you tried to fly solo  
Make your thoughts vocal, I'll put ya in a choke hold

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

I'm a gangster, no, I'm a gangster bitch  
Your momma gave me head, your girlie gave me the itch  
So scratch it till the bass beats fast, listen to the shotgun blast  
In the oven you'll get burned or in the tank that you'll get gassed  
Fake-o like Bacos, never mistake though  
Showing up, painted up, fresh from Macco  
Now I'm comin' in in stereo, rounder than a Cheerio  
Quick to fill your fix and I'm dizzier than a merry-go

Rock this obnoxious, I'm truly not nice  
'Cause I'm blood sucking evil like Muppets on ice  
Arriba, arriba I'm the under achiever  
Gonna leave it to beaver, I'm the daydream believer  
I'm like Mothra man with my big wingspan  
And your the mother fucking jap that killed my offspring Chan  
I'm a menace to society, I'm gonna fill the prophecy  
First I'll drink your Genesee and then I'll take your liberty

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

Di Di Mao, you burn village down  
You bring family over we all Wang Chung  
I'm a tarantula in your Chiquita  
And when you're peeling back the skin I'm gonna see ya  
I'm gonna bite ya, I'm gonna bite ya  
I'm Jimmy Pop, I'll tell you straight up I don't like ya  
'Cause I'm cold kicking lyrics till the day I die  
Many fail to copy but at least they still try  
Busting up vocabulary is what I do most  
I'm gonna spread your legs like butter and gobble ya up like toast

You went for the cherry, you went bobbing for the apple  
But the apple it be rotten and you had to eat the scrappple  
Scrapple? Pig meat from a pig pen, hog leftovers, your girlfriend  
So I flex to the effects and I don't care what nobody thinks  
I'm eatin' up your sherbert and dropping all your Tiddiley Winks  
Whoops goes my arm, I think it's outta socket  
Come over here little girlie I got some candy in my pocket

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna, getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha  
One way or another I'm gonna find ya  
I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha

## Shitty Record Offer

Take good, take bad, take gold  
And may you have facts of life  
The facts of life

Now the world don't move  
To the beat of just one drum  
What might not for you  
Might not for some

Different Strokes, Different Strokes  
Different Strokes to the world  
Charles in charge of our days and our nights

## Go Down

Step back 'cause the bass is fuzzin'  
Bloodhound gang bangs more than the dirty dozen  
Alley oop here comes the slam I know where I stand  
I'm feelin' like anthrax 'cause you know I'm the man  
Yea I dug your dame but all I did was kiss her  
But I got to second base with your mom and your sister  
I'll wipe the grin off your face like I was a can of Windex  
I threw a right I threw a right was it live or memorex

Go down down deep deep in and out quick  
'Cause I'm harder than Chinese Arithmetic  
Now my fist is in your face 'cause you stood in my way  
You tried to talk your shit and your ass got paid  
I get stupid like the Mongoloid Corky  
Welcome to McDonald's may I take your order  
'Cause I'm cold kicken lyrics like my arm was on fire  
Like Pinocchio my nose don't grow 'cause I ain't no liar

Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all

Clap it on, clap it off sniff my exhaust  
'Cause I got more steps than Barishnikov  
Like a pair of wet, a pair of wet, a pair of wet jeans  
You don't understand but your girl knows what I mean  
So I kicks my rhymes kind of complex  
A text of intricate words and other spoken effects  
Like a preacher on the mount teaching things he doesn't follow  
When you tried to hit the brake but pushed on the throttle

Mr. Goody two shoes picture the scenario  
Your girl blew me as I blew your stereo  
I got more bass than a baseball diamond  
Don't put me on your chalkboard 'cause I'm not down with Simon  
Sonic boom in your room assume your not there  
Booty licken nugget picken with your dad downstairs  
Love is just a fallacy I got more force than gravity  
I can run all night like an Energizer Battery

Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all  
Go down, go down, to get it up, get it up  
Go down, go down, to get it up y'all

## Earlameyer The Butt Pirate

Ahoy, sissy!  
Whatcha got in your mouth sissy?

## No Rest for the Wicked

I get bombed much like Pearl Harbor  
The price is white right and I'm Bob Barker  
This is your brain on drugs  
This is your brain on Jackie Onassis

All you crotch goblins  
Can kiss our asses  
Yes Siree like corn on the cob  
I'm all buttered up ready to  
A hob-nob  
Daddy is a kraut your Nazi occupied France  
I'm gonna rise to the occasion inside my pants

So yo ass yeah you I want to Fraggle Rock your girlie  
Coming around the party coming around like Mr.Burley  
I'm Mr. Furley you're Tack Tripper  
You're dumb ass Gilligan  
And I'm the skipper

Tiptoe through my tulips and come and frolic  
'Cause my name is Betty Ford  
And she's an alcoholic  
So here I am rock me like a hurricane  
Not a Scorpion but my sting will bring your dame a lot of pain  
And daddy's gonna tell ya  
I'm as cool as Jack the Ripper

Somewhat of a cut throat but still a big tipper  
As I tickle you pink I bet my fingers start to stink  
I'm what's missing from your life  
And you're the missing link  
It doesn't matter how you win or lose it's how you lick it

No rest for the wicked  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off

Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off

Flips it up in the air like my name was Bob Barker  
I always kicks it cold so I gotta wear my parka  
I'm leaving down my marker something like a stalker  
Using the force like my name was Luke Skywalker

Left hand's on the wheel and the right one on the bottle  
One foot in the grave  
And the other on the throttle  
I'm floating through your atmosphere like the Comet Haley's  
As freaky as a freak show call me Barnum and Bailey

So yo ho my cheerio here I'm coming around the bend  
Don't try to shake my hand I'm not your fucking friend  
Body slamming to the ground like I was captain Lou Albino  
Hit ya in the balls till you're singing soprano

Slide to the dance floor groove till you get sore  
Listen to the tiger's roar I'll pump you like a seesaw  
I'm a tattooed demon do you catch my meaning  
Think that you're dreaming  
But soon you'll be screaming

I got more senseless violence than a thriller in Manila  
Like my hero Gacy I'm a stone cold killer  
I got my moves from thriller I'm Fish you're Barney Miller  
I'm Spreading out the carnage like Mecha-Godzilla

Like Jimmy Pop says he's as cool as Jack the ripper  
So take off your panties and I'll kick off my slippers  
Do as I say and I will be a big tipper  
More smooth moves than my man Jack Tripper

Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
Get down drink it up bring it on take it off  
...

## She Ain't Got No Legs

Baby, yeah, first time I saw you, darling, I knew I was in love  
Tell her, Daddy, the way you took your wheelchair  
Up that handicap ramp, mmm, it's a mind blower

But now, baby, I miss ya, I miss ya  
I miss all the times we played Marco Polo in the pool, oh yeah  
Hide and go seek beneath the sheets, oh yeah  
And just the smell of the oil in your wheelchair

I remember the day I saw you hobbling  
A weeble, wobbling you had a problem  
You didn't have any legs, just a smile and some stumps  
No smelly feet, a torso to hump

No baby love, yeah, that's what we'd be making  
Ride you like a sit and spin 'til your stumps started aching  
Spin you around, yeah, roll you near  
Turn you upside down to hold my beer

You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same, oh baby  
You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same

They say nothing beats a great pair of legs  
But somehow, baby, the day you walked out of my life  
There's nothing I wanted more than  
Than for you to come crawling back to me

When we started going together people said they couldn't believe it  
That I could be so happy with a quadriplegic  
We would wake up real early and you could make me some eggs, mmm  
Girl, I didn't care if you ain't got no legs

I loved you for you and you loved me for me, oh yeah  
Wasn't really hard for those more but fortunate to see  
That the first time we made love, it was such a wonderful feeling  
The way the suspension wires held you 'cross the ceiling  
When you rolled out of my life, my heart just broke  
I can still hear the noise of the squeaks in your spokes 'cause

You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same, oh baby  
You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same  
You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same, oh baby  
You ain't got no legs but I love you just the same

You ain't got no legs

## We Like Meat

Hey, look at all that meat  
Ain't she the bitter end?

## Coo Coo Ca Choo

Coo coo ca choo baby you that's what you are  
You are a Hollywood star you're the high priestess by far  
And you know this tune's for you we call it, "Coo Coo Ca Choo"  
And it's a very brief description of the things we could do to you  
{You're body is incredible}

So you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo now what ya gonna do?

Oil me up quick Ms. Daisy before I'm lubing up your tailpipe  
Or the bedposts will be a knocking and  
A knocking 'til the break of light  
Raised and dazed in a million and one ways  
Like a Morton coffee roll I want you hot and glazed

So you're not the real thing baby you're Parkay you're not butter,  
You're gonna have to get you home and lube you up with Fluffernutter  
Scope it, scope it, baby looking so fit  
Playing games and laying dames you know I know you know it  
Now you're quick to get the condom that Jimmy's gonna fit too snug  
Lean you against the fire place and ride you on the bear skin rug

Chow down my ding dong come and sing along  
Slip a grip around my tip and then you'll be my Klingon  
Now in my sweat pants you're gonna see my erection  
Ooh oh pick a de pop pop perfection  
Umpla dumpla dippedee do  
'Cause I'd never leave the house if mommy looked like you

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Butter up butter cup, did ya really think  
It'd really last that long  
My attention span hutches and when  
You wake up you know that I'll be gone  
Cocoa butter beach blonde wearing that thin thong  
You know I got a thing for you it's only an inch long  
Picking up your signals like a TV station  
I'm looking for the channel to have immoral applications  
Looking so fine Cosmo behind  
Fermentation of time like Riunite wine  
So I'm bubbling and steaming like an active volcano  
I think I clogged up all your pipes get yourself some Draino

I get annoyed 'cause I can't avoid  
Baby sounding like a mongoloid  
I got the skills to keep ya busy all night  
If you do not bite I hope you blow like dynamite  
Happy Thanksgiving, would you like a little white meat?  
I'll stuff my butter balls then you can eat

So you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Now you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

Now you were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, coo coo ca choo  
You were looking at me I was looking at you  
Coo coo ca choo, now what ya gonna do?

You were looking at me  
You were looking at me

## Rang Dang

So set your phasers on kill if ya will so catch the feeling  
Got your head a pumping a back and forth until it hits the ceiling  
Now I'm wheeling, dealing, stealing, Johnny's apple seeds  
Slapped you with a baseball bat upside the head until it bleeds

Showing no mercy step like Solomon Grundy  
Hit ya with a table leg like I was Ted Bundy  
I bludgeoned you you're bloodied, you think it's kinda of funny  
First I'll take your money and then I'll swipe your honey

Dip slip to the A.M. what is that you're saying?  
You think you start praying, it's not a game you're playing  
Pump one, pump two, listen to the shotgun blast  
I'll blast that sorry ass when you're all outta gas

Well, I freak like cerebral pals, I'll get inside your drawers  
For alarm there is no, 'cause I funk like Lou Rawl  
Basco Roscoe P. Coltrane  
I wish I had a membrane so that I could go insane

Red light, green light, you know I always win this game  
You can be my gingerbread and I'll be your candycane

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

No chance in hell but I could tell you crave me  
Frisky from the whiskey and the thrills you gave me  
Taste great but less filling, so thrilling  
Come unannounced like automatic billing

And you can't do nothing as I push your buttons  
When I talk you're gonna listen like I'm E.F. Hutton  
Like Lionel Richie's up, 'All night long'  
Jimmy Pop don't do nobody wrong

Stop, flop, flip and flop  
Panties drop now I'm on top  
So wiggle it just a little bit  
I won't kiss your ass to get a piece of it

You said you wanted to do it now you're coming around to it  
I'm the one that sowed the seed but you're the one that grew it  
Take it blow by blow like Reginald Denny  
I do it all the time, how many?

Many Frauleins I'm coming again like Jesus  
And when I resurrect I'll be damned if I don't please you  
Our Jimmy Pop that art in hell hear it  
Fill me with your Holy Spirit

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Einie meanie miney moe  
Which of you girls will be my ho'  
Cross your fingers, grit your teeth  
'Cause the Bloodhound Gang makes holes in beef

We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef  
We make holes in beef

So watch your back straight to the attack  
I'll spin you around like your name was Pat Sajak  
Tag your ass out and no tag backs  
You psycho nymphomaniac

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
Rang dang diddlela dang a dang, baby  
You might say no but I hope you mean maybe

## Nightmare at the Apollo

All right Apollo  
Let's hear it one more time for Mister Gary Coleman, yes  
What are you talkin' about Willis? That joke is funny everytime I hear it  
Alright oh yeah

Let's put your hands together now, Harlem  
For, that's right, Harlem  
That's right, get up, Harlem  
For the Bloodhound Gang

Yo wassup Apollo  
Everybody say "Ho"  
Get off the stage Honkie Boys

## K.I.D.S. Incorporated

?? let's try again  
This time we're sloppy  
Like child birth!  
Where's my fucking bass guitar?

Everybody Look Around Hear The Sound  
Something Specials Gonna Come Your Way  
We Got Something That Is New That Is True  
We Got Something Just For You Today  
All Around The Nation (Whoa Oh)  
We're The New Sensation  
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)  
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated  
In The City In The Street  
There's A Beat There's A Feeling That You Can't Deny  
All The People Wanna Move Wanna Grove  
There's A Shine A Spirit In Their Eyes  
All Around The Nation (Whoa Oh)  
We're The New Sensation  
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)  
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated  
K.I.D.S. Kids Incorporated We're Gonna Have Fun  
K.I.D.S. Kids Incorporated For Everyone  
All Around The Nation  
We're The New Sensation  
Have You Heard? Have You Heard? Have You Heard?  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S.  
We're Kids Incorporated K.I.D.S. (Whoa Oh)  
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated (What?)  
Looks Like We Made It We're Kids Incorporated

All right, where's my smack?

# One Fierce Beer Coaster (1996)

(Republic Records)

## Kiss Me Where It Smells

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog  
'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg  
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God  
'Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog  
Like a DC ten guaranteed to go down  
But baby your black box is the one that I found  
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money  
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said

"Kiss me where it smells funny"

So down I go like I'm two thousand flushes  
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes  
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied  
She's thinking,"Holy Mackerel", I'm thinking Tuna on the side!  
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose  
'Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes  
Yeah, I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be  
Don't come up for air until you

"Kiss me where it smells funny"

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty

Pa pa pa pa pa pa  
Aaa ha ha

## Lift Your Head Up High (and Blow Your Brains Out)

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out

Do you still go to raves? Do you think that Christ saves?  
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?  
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?  
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?

Are you hooked on a feelin'? Are you hooked on gin n' tonics?  
Are you hooked on fistin'? Are you hooked on phonics?  
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?  
Did you like the movie 'Malcolm X'?

Or do you own a record by Stryper?  
Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?  
Were you born an' raised in New Jersey?  
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?

Are you deaf? Well if you are, you can't hear me  
But what's the use of livin' if your ears be  
Broken, even if I spoke clearly  
You're still not able to hear me

'Cause life is a game that no one wins  
But you deserve a head start the way your life's goin'  
So throw in the towel 'cause your life ain't shit  
No, take that towel an' hang yourself with it

Life's short an' hard like a body building elf  
So save the planet an' kill yourself  
If you're feelin' down an' out with what your life's all about  
Lift your head up and blow your brains out

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out

Does your girlfriend look like the chick from 'M.A.S.H.'?  
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?  
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask  
"Ain't no Halloween party, why's she wearin' that mask?"

Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?  
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?  
Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?  
Does she look pregnant although she's not?

Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops?  
Or at a Star Trek convention or on top  
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's  
Workin' third shift, late New Years' Eve

Does he live under a bridge scare kids an' kill squirrels?  
Does he do keg stands until he hurls?  
Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille?  
Does he have time to sit around an' wait for the mail?

Life is a game that no one wins  
But you deserve a head start the way your life's goin'  
So throw in the towel 'cause your life ain't shit  
No, take that towel an' hang yourself with it

Life's short an' hard like a body building elf  
So save the planet an' kill yourself  
If you're feelin' down an' out with what your life's all about  
Lift your head up and blow your brains out

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out

So take your life instead of takin' it for granted  
I'm thinkin' you should can it, I think I'll help you plan it  
Live today like it's gonna be your last  
Hang out, blow your mind, have yourself a gas

I hope you take this the wrong way  
And misinterpret what I say  
Rewind an' let me reverse it  
Backwards like Judas Priest first did

'Cause life is a game that no one wins  
But you deserve a head start the way your life's goin'  
So throw in the towel 'cause your life ain't shit  
No, take that towel an' hang yourself with it

Life's short an' hard like a body building elf  
So save the planet an' kill yourself  
If you're feelin' down an' out with what your life's all about  
Lift your head up and blow your brains out

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out  
...

## Fire Water Burn

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Hello, my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy  
I'm not old or new, but middle school, fifth grade, like junior high  
I don't know mofo, if y'all peeps be buggin' givin' props to my hoe 'cause she fly  
But I can take the heat 'cause I'm the other white meat known as "Kid funky fried"  
Yea, I'm hung like planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye  
But if I crashed into Uranus, I would stick it where the sun don't shine  
'Cause I'm kind of like Hans Solo, always stroking my own wookie  
I'm the root of all that's evil, yea, but you can call me Cookie

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Yo, yo  
This hardcore ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice  
I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is  
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven  
This honkey's gone to heaven  
But if I go to Hell, well then I hope I burn well  
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye and Lawrence  
Welk  
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist  
And Webster yea Emmanuel Lewis 'cause he's the Antichrist

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

## I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter  
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class  
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass  
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too

Want to see how many push-ups I can do?  
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig

Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be  
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo

Phony  
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity  
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry  
Scoring with a super model would be easy

Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonymous with  
'Super dumb'  
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon  
I'd become

That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair  
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear  
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes

The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy  
Dean  
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline  
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't want to be a queen

I wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis  
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he  
Talks like this

And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway  
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet  
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks  
Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks dig guys that are  
Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks dig guys that are

Queer guys that don't dig  
Chicks that don't dig guys like me  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly  
And I don't shave my heiny

Don't shave my heiny  
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

## Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me

Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor  
He clocked the doctor 'cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca  
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me  
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie

What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son  
He's looks like Chewie and Hong Kong Phooey all in one  
(Baba Booey Baba Booey)  
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'  
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby  
Why's everybody always pickin' on me?

Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali  
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you  
So back me up Bill  
(Yea and you're ugly too)  
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese  
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valentia jeans  
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies  
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie  
You compare me to a Mon chichi but I don't understand

Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the  
(Elephant Man)  
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first  
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse  
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink  
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink  
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard  
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause ya wore velor flares until the late Eighties  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky

Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased  
And he breaks into the professor's lab and makes some LSD  
Peaks freaks and eats the skipper's brains  
Then beats ginger with coconuts

As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut  
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be  
And like a postal clerk I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasing me  
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm  
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm  
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause ya wore velor flares until the late Eighties  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady  
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?  
'Cause no one likes you monkey boy

## It's Tricky

This beat is my recital I think it's very vital  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky tricky yo here we go

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

I met this little girlie, her hair was kind of curly  
Went to her house to bust her out, I had to leave real early  
These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me  
Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said it's not that easy

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme  
They really hawk, but we just walk, because we have no time  
And in the city it's a pity, 'cause we just can't hide  
Tinted windows don't mean nothing, they know who's inside

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time  
I'm not singing, phone keep ringing so I make up a rhyme  
I'm not bragging, people nagging, 'cause they think I'm a star  
Always tearing what I'm wearing, I think they're going too far

A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play  
Evil dissed her and dismissed her, now she's jocking spanky  
I ain't lying, girls be crying, 'cause we're on TV  
They even bother my poor father, 'cause he's down with me

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme  
To rock a rhyme that's right on time  
It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky

We are not dumb, we don't use drugs, but you assume on your own  
They offer coke and lots of dope, but we just leave it alone  
It's like that y'all, but we don't quit  
You keep on, rock shot, 'cause this is it

## Asleep At The Wheel

Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous  
Break curfew new trip ensues  
You never know Bloodhounds just go  
Pack backpack up for down the road  
No change of clothes but change for tolls  
Pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal  
Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee  
Sugar Daddy Rand McNally

A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs  
Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak  
The phantom black stacked Pontiac  
Hot rod dual quads and in the back  
Is the beat keeper big ass speaker  
Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter  
Dial is turned and there it's stayin'  
The next day where stern is playin'

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
But on the road to Hell there's none

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
but on the road to Hell there's none

Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel

I-95 five eight lanes wide, midnight drive take a ride  
Alongside east coast tide, gettin' high, so am I  
Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes  
I consume engine zoom then engine boom  
Then engine glow erupt and blow  
And overflow like volcano  
So far to go can't turn back though  
Cheap tobacco cup of black Joe  
Fuelin' my body jumstartin' my soul  
Set my mind on cruise control

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
But on the road to hell there's none

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
But on the road to hell there's none

Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel

24-7 Truck Stop Plaza  
Turn off headlights turn on hazards  
3 A.M. is when I gazed  
Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade  
To black now were back  
'On The Road' like Kerouac  
Down the turnpike high rate of speed  
Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
But on the road to hell there's none

You got your Jesus on the dashboard  
But the Devil's under my hood  
You're takin' it down legal, I'm pullin' it up to no good  
God is your copilot, I let Satan ride shotgun  
You pay a toll to get to Heaven  
But on the road to hell there's none

Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
Get up you're asleep at the wheel  
...

## Shut Up

I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil  
I'm like a zit, a wart, a corn, a cyst, a festering boil  
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form  
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn  
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh  
Then I'll borg di, borg do, borg ya like the Swedish Chef  
'Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find  
Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine

I'm like Schneider one day at a time  
I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind  
To my wall like Daniel son does  
I'm waxing on, I'm waxing off, I'm waxing just because  
I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me  
And I got more balls than the daily lottery  
Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me  
'Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy

And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me

Second verse is different from the first  
I'm Jimmy Pop I am  
Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am, I am  
See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn  
And I got a different angle like a parallelogram  
And you'll be all ears like a field of corn  
I'll make you dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn  
Like a number two pencil I always got a point  
You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint

I'm Jimmy Pop y'all, I'm Jimmy Pop y'all  
I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull  
As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst  
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy liverwurst  
Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I'll get in your face  
But then I'll brush you off like aqua fresh toothpaste  
'Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat  
But I'm not a roll of charmin' so don't give me no crap

And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me

I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks  
I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that  
I hate lesbian feminists because they're all so damn ugly  
I hate Spin Magazine 'cause they never ever plug me  
I hate Regis and Kathie Lee  
I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee  
I hate people that think I care what they think  
I hate people that think their ass don't stink  
I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more  
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score  
I hate you but you hate yourself too  
I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you

And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me  
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me  
'Cause' I don't like you 'cause you're not like me

## Your Only Friends Are Make Believe

{Yea, well I sing like an amputee though  
Why?  
'Cause can't hold a note, can't carry a tune  
Ha, ha, ha}

Knock, knock Mr. Rogers, it's Mr. Mc' Feelie  
I've brought you a letter, speedy delivery  
Well Mr. Mc' Feelie, if there's postage due  
You can go fuck yourself, like Captain Kangaroo  
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend  
But in the end I still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

Mr. Rogers, I like your cardigan sweater  
Mr. Mc' Feelie shut up and give me my letter  
I don't want to talk to you, don't you understand?  
Why are you inside my house, you're just my fuckin' mailman?  
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend  
But in the end I still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend  
But in the end you still have no friends  
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend  
But in the end you still have no friends

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do  
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do

You are my best friend too  
I share the same views and hardly ever argue  
Eat spam from the can, watch late night C-Span  
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too  
I share the same views and hardly ever argue  
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span  
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too  
I share the same views and hardly ever argue  
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span  
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too  
I share the same views and hardly ever argue  
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span  
And rock out to old school Duran Duran

Your best friend is you, I'm my best friend too  
I share the same views and hardly ever argue  
Eat spam from the can watch late night C-Span  
And rock out to old school

## Boom

Yo Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle  
Together on this track

Stop as we drop this bomb  
Blow up this place like another Vietnam  
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome  
Back up son, give me room, give me room  
To set it off like this don't give it up  
I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough  
Real hard to the bone you want more  
I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door

Phat flavor for your brain you know the time  
So check the wrath, it's for real, I'm gonna get mine  
Roll up on you like Eastwood  
Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood  
I spreads butter like Parkay  
Real smooth with flow and even when I parlay  
Do what you feel and check the skill  
I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal

In your Jeep Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser  
When you're rolling through the hood you want to use A  
Track like this all up in your eardrum  
So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum  
And gets crazy like Prozac  
Hype enough to start a party and ill as a heart attack  
Round one, round two knockout  
Straight to your head, my round never lights out

Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A

Jimmy Jimmy y'all, Jimmy damn, Jimmy yea  
Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away  
Got more lines than the welfare office  
Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this?

Spreadin' quicker than your mom have a feel but don't cop it  
Yea I stole your beat but that's 'cause you dropped it  
Crude as oil unrefined but slick  
I'm gonna get you from behind like a gay convict  
'Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch  
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch  
You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to  
You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist barbecue

Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking  
I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'  
Nose to ground so this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it  
I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it  
Screaming like a Mimi when you see me coming near you  
Like a Kenny Loggings' record no one's ever gonna to hear you  
Like a game of hide and seek it's all over if I see ya  
'Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea

Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A

Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee  
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee A

## Going Nowhere Slow

Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand?  
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans  
Bloodhound's the name and the gang's to blame  
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same  
So fame ain't gonna live forever  
Never worrying about dying cause it can't be any better  
But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst  
And if the worst is yet to happen I hope it happens to you first  
So hello Joe, what do you know?  
Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show  
Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle?  
Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle?  
No matter what you did, you're gonna be abused  
If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze  
If ya get your eyes a fuzzin' then we'll get your ears a buzzin'  
'Cause we play around the world, you play around with your cousin

Bloodhound boys  
Bloodhound girls  
Bloodhound noise  
Bloodhound world  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

We rock Philadelphia, Baltimore, Las Vegas, Indianapolis  
Louisville, Atlanta, New Orleans and Minneapolis  
Houston, Tucson, Phoenix, Buffalo  
Tulsa, Mobile, Albuquerque, Wichita and Orlando  
Portland, Salt Lake City, Memphis, Washington DC  
Charlotte, Oklahoma City, Little Rock and Milwaukee  
Cleveland, Tampa, Norfolk, Dallas, Raleigh, Hartford, Cincinnati  
Boston, Nashville, Kansas City, Chattanooga and Miami  
Honolulu, Richmond, Austin, Pittsburgh, San Antonio  
Baton Rouge, and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo  
Denver, Detroit, Dayton, Spokane, Fresno  
And Jacksonville, Columbus, Springfield, New York, Sacramento  
Los Angeles, St. Paul, St. Louis, San Francisco  
Madison, Knoxville, Seattle, San Jose and San Diego  
Jackson, Omaha, Des Moines, Boise, Providence, Chicago  
But nowhere in New Jersey that's the only place we don't go

Bloodhound boys  
Bloodhound girls  
Bloodhound noise  
Bloodhound world  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow  
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn  
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone  
Don't matter what state what town what show  
Hell bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

Wooaaa haa  
Wooaaa haa  
Wooaaa haa  
...

## Reflections of Remoh

The Bloodhound Gang record's called 'One Fierce Beer Coaster'  
And on the front of the record there's a picture of a beer coaster  
So the record looks like a beer coaster  
Ho hoo hoo hoo

That's some funny fuckin' shit mother fucker  
That shit's wack, that shit's funny  
That shit's funny and wack  
Oh my God! Hoo hoo hoo

# Hooray for Boobies (1999)

(Interscope Records)

## I Hope You Die

You must die, I alone am best

I hope you flip some guy the bird  
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve  
In front of the Beatles' tour bus  
A bookmobile and a Mack truck

Hauling hazardous biological waste  
The light turns red, you have no brakes  
And 'Hard Copy' gets it all on tape  
So you can see the look on your face

Die die die die die die die  
Die die die die die die die

I hope your Pinto begins to spin  
Takes out a disabled Vietnam veteran  
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize winner  
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner

Perhaps even the British Royal Family  
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy  
And we can't forget the newlyweds  
And those 'Jerry's Kids' are as good as dead

I hope this helps to emphasize  
I hope this helps to clarify  
I hope you die

I hope your cell mate thinks he's God  
But CNN refer to him as 'Bowling Ball Bag Bob'  
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse  
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse

While he masturbates to photos of livestock  
He does the 'Silence of the Lambs' dance to Christian rock  
Eats feces and quotes from 'Deliverance'  
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince

Die die die die die die die  
Die die die die die die die

I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson  
And forces you to play a game called 'Balls On Chin'  
And whatever happens next is all a blur  
But you remember 'Fist' can be a verb

And when you finally regain consciousness  
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress  
And the prison guard looks the other way  
Cause he's the guy you flipped the bird the other day

I hope this helps to emphasize  
I hope this helps to clarify  
I hope you die

I hope you die

## The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope

"A" is for "Apple"  
"B" is for "Balloons"  
"C" is for "Crayons"  
"D" is for "Drum"  
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell

One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two  
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew  
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her  
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher  
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me  
I liked me so much I had to buy the company  
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck  
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks

Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized  
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized  
Mount Rushmore no ignore it can't rock with no big head  
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead  
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity  
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity  
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope  
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope

Conclusions you drew proportions you blew  
Lost son of Iggy? False bigger nose than Ziggy? True  
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick  
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic  
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes  
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes  
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class  
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass

Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke  
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!"  
I struck gold but never took it for granted that's how I planned it so can it  
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it  
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium  
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian  
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope  
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope

One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope

One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope  
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope  
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope

Great White Dope  
Great White Dope  
Great White Dope  
...

## Mama's Boy

Hello Frank, hello mother dear  
Hi, Jim, what are you doin'?  
I am trying to think of words that rhyme with vagina  
Oh, lima? Like lima beans  
How about that, that teenage witch, Sabina  
No, that's a made up word, Jim  
What don't you change the word vagina to something else  
Like box or pussy or cunt, no Jim

## Three Point One Four

My last girlfriend didn't like me, thought she might be  
Most likely a dyke, she just didn't excite me  
Lefty, yeah, but that was alright  
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright  
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony  
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company  
Ass like a donkey actin' funky gave her 'L', now she's a flunky  
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys

Early bird gets the worm, spread your legs or spread the word  
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd  
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color  
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother  
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy  
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica  
With their pussies like 'em easy and hot and sweet  
Like a Rice Krispie Treat gee, you know what I really want in a girl, me

I need to find a new vagina  
Any kind of new vagina  
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina  
Calvin Klein kind of North Carolina

Women are like dog, do hear me through, don't interrupt  
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick up  
I'd fill the generation gap, clean the cobwebs from her rafters  
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture  
No age just ain't a gauge, I like my girls like my cheese  
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only  
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner  
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner

Like Sizzler she got a beef, we'll chew the fat  
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap  
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough  
No, I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up  
Just independent like NOFX, smart like Janeane Garafolo  
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know  
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee  
You know what I really want in a girl, me

I need to find a new vagina  
Any kind of new vagina  
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina  
Kevin Kline kind of South Carolina

Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina

## Mope

We gonna drop this next bomb  
For a money makin' playa that ain't with us no mo'  
Yeah, Notorious B.I.G.

Hell no, we gonna do this  
For a gangbangin' thug that never seen it comin'  
Yeah, Tupac Shakur

Nah bitch, I'm talkin' 'bout  
Motherfuckin' Falco and shit  
What? Falco?

Ooh, rock me, Amadeus, ooh, rock me, Amadeus  
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus, ooh, rock me, Amadeus  
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus, ooh, rock me, Amadeus  
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus, ooh, rock me, Amadeus  
Ooh, rock me, Amadeus

Tried to OD on the Cold-Eeze  
'Golden Girls' got me 'Sweatin' To The Oldies'  
Hanging out like Double Ds sip Long Island Iced Teas  
Wrote to Mayor McCheese "Send a Shamrock Shake please"

Three o' clock on the dot, time to cruise for eighth graders  
Rather tape the Weather Channel so that I can watch it later  
Reruns of reruns, so what's happenin'?  
Dee's knocked up and Rog on crack again

Deep throat a whole Nutty Buddy  
Make whoopie to a batch of Silly Putty  
Make a Spam and Colgate sandwich and ate it  
Go through "National Geographic" and draw panties on the natives

So I like to dance naked in front of my pets  
But my cat was inattentive so I sent him U.P.S.  
Playin' 'spin the bottle' with my mom  
I watch "Cops" with no pants on

Must've blown a fuse nothing going on  
Lamer than the Pope, climb the walls like King Kong  
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes  
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'

Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill  
Not going nowhere, slim chance we will  
Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood  
Dick around like 'Frankie Goes To Hollywood'

Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come

Nowhere to go, I can't wake up late  
Just sit around and wait for my Old Spice to activate  
Stalemate, jailbait in 'My So-Called Life' imprisonment  
Amazing what a good breakfast pickles make, isn't it?

I like to pretend I'm speed reading  
Never lose the sight of the thrill of sneezing  
Don't need a shower today, just some Brut by Faberge  
Smell the ass of my jeans, clean, they'll do another day

And I recycle, I sniff my own farts  
I dial the wrong number, hope a conversation starts  
I mean I might as well be listenin' to Journey  
Givin' myself a mullet hook the Flowbee to the Kirby

Make a prank call pretendin' I'm a mime  
Get stuck in traffic just to pass the time  
Sent a letter in the mail in Braille to Johnny Quest  
Send me back my Etch-A-Sketch

Must've blown a fuse, nothing's going on  
Lamer than the Pope, climb the walls like King Kong  
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes  
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'

Luciano Pavarotti on a treadmill  
Not going nowhere, slim chance we will  
Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood  
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come

I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums  
When you wanna cum  
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums  
When you wanna cum

I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums  
When you wanna cum  
I'm mighty tighty whitey and I'm smugglin' plums  
When you wanna cum

Yo yo yo yo yo! What it is, motherfuckers?  
Aww shit, here comes Pac-Man  
Hey Pac-Man, what's up?

Me, you bitches, I'm high on crack, wanna freebase?  
No Pac-Man, drugs are bad, nope, can't help you man  
Pussies, whoa, holy shit!

Must've blown a fuse, nothing's going on  
Lamer than the Pope, climb the walls like King Kong  
Buggin' out like Tori Spelling's eyes  
Deader than the parents on a 'Party of Five'

Luciano Pavoratti on a treadmill  
Not going nowhere, slim chance we will  
Less hip than Bo Jackson, bored like wood  
Dick around like Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna come  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna go to it  
Relax, don't do it, when you wanna cum

Holy macaroni, holy macaroni  
Holy macaroni, holy macaroni  
Holy macaroni, holy macaroni  
Holy macaroni, holy macaroni

## Yummy Down On This

Ouch, it won't reach my mouth  
If I could do it myself  
I'd probably never leave the house  
But I can't, so here's where you come in  
Giving it different strokes  
Just like Arnold Drummond

Hummin', hmm hmm  
Good like Campbell's  
And you'll handle the sack  
Like the quarterback Randall  
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi  
They call him Ralph Mouth  
'Cause he's down on potsie

Rocky chasin' the chicken  
Watch the plot thicken  
With the cock when your lickin'  
Me like Apollo your creed my mission  
You go down for the count  
I countdown ignition

Blast off, you're a rocket scientist  
A genius what I mean  
Is you suck at this  
So escargot  
'Cause my snail needs frenchin'  
You must be five stars  
'Cause my staff's at full attention

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Dinner for one  
I know you got your reservations  
Starvation like a third world nation  
So do it for the children  
And I'll make a donation  
My fly's in your eyes  
Let me rise to the occasion

In my underoos  
I tend to be brief  
So when you're sinkin' your teeth  
Deep into my beef  
You can fondle but it's kind of  
Like McDonald's realize it's  
Just a Happy Meal  
So you can't Super Size it

Told to hold the pickle  
Then you went and blew it  
Gherkin off and the  
Special sauce comes included  
But you knew it did  
So concentrate like Tropicana  
To eat a chiquita  
You need to grow the banana

So can ya Bob like Dylan  
On my Peter like Criss?  
'Til it's Chubby like Checker  
C'mon baby do the twist  
It's all in the wrist  
Like table tennis  
So beat me  
Like Betty Crocker cake mix

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Yummy  
Down on this  
Down on this  
Down on this

Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it

Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it  
Suck it, suck it, suck it

If you were a Hindu  
I could aim for the dot  
Yummy down on this  
Yummy down on this

Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken  
And feel free to wiggle dunk these purple bulldog cheeks

## The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to explain  
I'm your biggest fan  
I just wanted to ask, could I eat your ass?  
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick, had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time, had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to complain  
Ya never wrote me back  
How could I ever eat our ass  
When ya treat your biggest fan like that?

You've had a lotta dick, had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time, had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to constrain  
This letter is my last  
As your biggest fan I must demand  
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

P. S. Mom and Dad this is Chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show 'em them titties  
Now show 'em them titties

P. S. Mom and Dad this is Chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show 'em them titties  
Now show 'em them titties

Would you fuck me for blow?

## R.S.V.P.

Uhh, that was creepy  
I would rather slurp rancid tuna salad out of my own ass  
Or scour my boobies off with a rusty S O S pad  
Or hump a piece of splintered balsa wood

## Magna Cum Nada

Why try? I'm that guy  
Holden Caulfield from 'Catcher In The Rye'  
Put away cause he wasn't all there  
Like a jigsaw puzzle, you might compare  
Me to him, not a liver but worst  
Been much better off as a still birth  
Big let down, unparalleled  
Like the last episode of 'Seinfeld'

Or Jack Lemmon in 'Glengarry Glen Ross'  
'Pepsi Challenge', took it, lost  
Just fizzed out with my wires crossed  
Buttons pushed but never went off  
Like Martha I will self-destruct  
The name's Dunnstock, it's not Dumptruck  
Just cursed as fuck with no such luck  
My future plans include not much

Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me  
Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me

Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me  
Always gonna be, always gonna be  
Always gonna, always gonna be  
Most likely to suck

Wanna be a Ghostbuster  
First Black President, owner of 'Hustler'  
Got shot down like Larry Flynt  
Felt like shit like a bowel movement  
Have you seen my will to live?  
Because I seem to have lost it  
Love life? No, but Mom thinks I'm handsome  
Couldn't get off if I held a pimp for ransom

Feel like Jimmy Stewart, no one sees my Harvey  
'Toxic Shock Syndrome' gets more girls than me  
Like Pee Wee Herman spermin' I can  
See the future in the palm of my hand  
'Psychic Friends', Network loser  
Large phone bill in my very near future  
Dealt nothing and bluffing hard  
Playing poker with a joker and some Uno cards

Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me  
Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me

Never gonna be, never gonna be  
Never gonna, never gonna be  
Nothin' more than me  
Always gonna be, always gonna be  
Always gonna, always gonna be  
Most likely to suck

Most likely to suck  
Most likely to suck  
Most likely to suck  
Most likely to suck  
Most likely to suck

## The Bad Touch

Ha ha, well now!  
We call this the act of mating  
But there are several other very important differences  
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me  
And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel  
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert  
And you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch,  
You want it rough, you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered, want you covered,  
Like my Waffle House hash browns  
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola  
Stock you are inclined to make me rise  
An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket  
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt,  
Only God knows where we stuck it hieroglyphics  
Let me be Pacific, I want to be down in your South Seas  
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean,  
Means small craft advisory  
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, be minus five,  
You sunk my battle ship please turn me on,  
I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip  
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time"  
You'll love it just like Lyle  
And then we'll do it doggie style  
So we can both watch X-Files

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

## That Cough Came With a Prize

Coughing

## Take The Long Way Home

Did you ever read Voltaire's, 'Candide'?  
He says, "Live life at Benny Hill freak out speed"  
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase  
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze

Highlights yes but don't underline em  
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem  
Life is like Marion Barry  
It's not all that it's cracked up to be

Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes  
Find the meaning of life is there is none  
It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day  
Be Frank and say, "I Did It My Way"

Don't give a Flying Nun no don't give a Gidget  
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget  
If life were picture perfect you could frame it  
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it

Life is an aimless drive  
That ya take alone  
Might as well enjoy the ride  
Take the long way home

All born equal unless you're Canadian  
Then halfway through decay like Uranium  
You define what's death-defying  
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying

Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train  
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?  
Have really good times doing really bad things  
Cause the show ain't over til the fat lady sings

Like Elton John with his Candle in the Wind  
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him  
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper  
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker

Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'  
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains  
Life is like a penis most people don't know it  
But most people suck so they usually blow it

Life is an aimless drive  
That ya take alone  
Might as well enjoy the ride  
Take the long way home

Life is an aimless drive  
That ya take alone  
Might as well enjoy the ride  
Take the long way home

## Hell Yeah

Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now  
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible

Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on TV  
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols  
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible  
Thou shall make fun of Hindus, thou shall not make a "Speed 2"  
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no

Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything  
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops  
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap  
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut Footloose  
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no

Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah  
Hell yeah

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross  
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off  
He goes by the name Hay-Zeus and steals hubcaps from cars  
Oh, Hay-Zeus can I borrow your crowbar?

To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt  
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt  
I can't believe it's not butter, I'll sing as I'm flogged  
Yeah, that's what I would do if I were God

So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven  
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"  
With creepy threats of H-E-Double Hockey-Stick  
You just can't teach an old God new tricks

But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?  
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?  
Just sport some crummy holier than thou facade  
Yeah, that's what I would do if I were God

## Right Turn Clyde

Times new roman you know the type  
Calling me public enemy, but don't believe the hype  
Tough guy like the one in "star 80" wanna bait me  
Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me  
Gave your girl a little wink so you make a big stink  
Shoulder's got a chip so you flip like a tiddlywink  
Know what I think? I think you might be darwin's missing link  
Get all bent out of shape when the heat is on just like a shrinky dink  
Bet I can take a hint better than I can take a hit  
Completely incompatible though I'm a pussy and you're a dick  
How can you hold a grudge when you can't even hold a job?  
Should have known butter but you're not corn on the cob  
I choose to use a song for a weapon not a sword struck a chord  
If I wanted to see stars I'll watch the "academy awards"  
That's why I ran like a flock of seagulls why make-up like mary kay?  
You must've given up on hair plugs cause now you're going toupee

All in all you're just another dick with no balls  
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Mama said talk this out and resolve  
Don't wanna be involved so gimme a call when you evolve  
Doggy paddle to the shallow end of the gene pool  
Half with it half wit half finished high school  
Give you a piece of my mind but I know you want it splattered  
Heard you like your women like you like your shrimp you like em battered  
Wife beater perfectly fitting apparel  
Where's your brother daryl? where's your other brother daryl?  
Givin' me that macho man randy savage stare  
Wanna snap into a slim jim break my limbs but do I care?  
No sorry I'm a lover not a fighter commit your crime  
I'll be glad to do your girlfriend, I'll be glad that you do time  
Here's the deal I cop a feel you cop a plea but get the maximum  
Now we both got records but the difference is mine's platinum  
Definitely showed this yellow bellied wimp limp in your cell now though alone  
When you're choking your chicken your chick will be choking on this chicken's bone

All in all you're just another dick with no balls  
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Right turn clyde  
Right turn clyde  
Right turn clyde  
Right turn clyde

## This Is Stupid

Oh, do you let someone  
Know with your hot cakes are selling well?

## A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night  
I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's hump palace lookin' for love  
It had been a while, in fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come  
And went since that midnight run haulin' hog to shakey town on I-10

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons  
Through a pair of daisy duke cut-offs  
And one of those fruit of the loom Tank-tops  
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips  
Milky white skin and baby blue eyes, name was Russell

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well, I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, shallow grave  
This pretty little thing come up to me  
And starts kneadin' my balls like hard boiled eggs in a tube sock  
Said her name was Bambi and I said  
"Well, that's a Coincidence darlin'  
'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a Deer"

Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern  
And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask  
As I do my little kooky dance and then she told me to shush  
I guess she could sense my desperation  
Of course, it's hard to hide a hard-on  
When you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make  
All my fantasies come true  
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is Jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart  
As Garth Brooks gives birth to somethin' resemblin' a  
Cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"

Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later  
I'm parkin' the beef bus in Tuna Town if you know what I mean  
Got to nail her back at her trailer  
Heh, that rhymes, I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on  
When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch  
Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into the  
Stinky pinky gulp n' guzzle big rig snooze-a-stop  
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb  
When I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of the milk carton

Well, my heart just dropped  
So I decided to do what any good Christian would  
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold  
A half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher  
When your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler  
I never thought missing children could be so sexy  
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

## The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey

Here are the 10 coolest things about New Jersey  
Hit it boys, get away from me, can't you see  
I'm just losing you, aren't you just on your own?

The new things  
10, shit, 9, fuck, 8, cunt and 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, bitches  
Almost the end of the song  
Go, go, go, go crash bitches hell you made us stop

The song let's start again up, down the Jersey continues  
Still alone, off the bar, locked in a cage alone in the 10 10  
(10 10)  
Coolest things about New Jersey that's all goodbye

## Along Comes Mary

Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely  
Someone calls on me  
And every now and then I spend my time at rhyme  
And verse and curse those faults in me

And then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
And does she want to give me kicks and be my steady chick  
And give me pick of memories

Or maybe rather gather tales  
From all the fails and tribulations no one ever sees  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

When vague desire is the fire  
In the eyes of chicks whose sickness the games they play  
And when the masquerade is played  
The neighbor folks make jokes at who is most to blame today

And then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
And does she want to set them free and let them see reality  
From where she got her name

And will they struggle much when told  
That such a tender touch of hers will make them not the same  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

And when the morning of the warning's passed  
The gassed and flaccid kids are flung across the stars  
The psychodramas and the traumas gone  
The songs have all been sung and hung upon the scars

And then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
And does she want to see the stains the dead remains of all the pain  
She left the night before

Or will their waking eyes reflect the lies  
And make them realize their urgent cry for sight no more  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

# Hefty Fine (2005)

(Geffen Records)

## Strictly For The Tardcore

Eminem's gotta cuss in his raps to sell records  
Well, me too, so fuck Will Smith  
That don't rhyme, drats

## Balls Out

Potent is the flow which is wicked sick  
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick  
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick  
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick

I don't give a shit about celebrity  
But motherfuckers did ya happen to see who's here? Me  
The bottom feeder at the top of the food chain  
Frontin' from the back of the line on some dud named

After car parts that as fast as a spark hitting gas  
Starts a fire gets wired from barbs that  
Cut like a jalapeno popper fart  
Burnin' up an asshole that once riped apart

Punched hard but it ain't like I ever cared if I went  
Too far as stitches left scars from more clowns bent  
Outta shape than the cirque de soleil ever had so  
Though he throws his weight around he's still in my shadow

In the dark so he doesn't know his girl remarked that I make her  
Laugh on the inside but I can hear it later  
With my dick as her other cunt gets screwed  
In the process I got to get hot chicks nude

The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's  
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches  
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's  
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches

Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up  
Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

Potent is the flow which is wicked sick  
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick  
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick  
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick

Thanks to you bitches I got more screams  
Than David Arquette's resume what that means  
Is my job involves getting' mobbed like John Gotti  
Dressed to kill like I'm Gianni Versace

But I gotta be so when a gimp limps back for more  
In a huff like that fat kid that had to sit out for  
Every gym class due to his asthma that wore  
One correctional shoe but still passed that I swore

I spotted at the smorgasbord sprintin' for seconds  
That I reckon ain't as sloppy as the leftovers gettin'  
Me clocked by blocked cock pissed my tryst with his missus  
Got her panties in a bunch just like his is

That my face between her legs because that could be  
What convinced this dick getting' hard I'm a pussy  
But if that were my name I would have autographed her breasts with  
Motherfuckin' dollar signs instead of S's

The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's  
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches  
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's  
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches

Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up  
Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up  
Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up  
Balls out my life is a slut  
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

## Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Vulcanize the whoopee stick  
In the ham wallet  
Cattle prod the oyster ditch  
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax  
In the gut locker  
Retrofit the pudding hatch  
Ooh la la  
With the boink swatter

If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then  
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though  
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically  
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo  
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod  
In the squish mitten  
Power drill the yippee bog  
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone  
In the bitch wrinkle  
Cannonball the fiddle cove  
Ooh la la  
With the pork steeple

If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then  
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though  
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically  
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo  
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto

## I'm The Least You Could Do

It always sucks refolding the kind of map  
Needed when I get stuck where the sun don't shine the fact  
Is if I just shut up my rubbered stamp could flag you as dumb  
It ain't your mind you're givin' me a piece of  
As it don't take Einstein to know that's just obscene but  
It's been Buck Rogers' time since I hit other than rock bottom

Even the odds of having you against me  
With your crotchless jihad on blue balls evidently  
Are all mighty good God so angel dust my soul like James Brown  
Street legal whore hauling so much stunning ass  
Sell yourself short like bridge at the bunny ranch  
Do it all fours the satisfaction of getting fouled

I'm the least you could do  
If only life were as easy as you  
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah  
If only life were as easy as you  
I would still get screwed

I don't care if getting under someone that's  
Beneath you fits the M.O. of conundrum as  
You reckoned this was just a fancy word for rubbers  
I aim to get a bang out of working your  
Weak spot that sets the bar so low just nerve can score  
With no respect since oddly danger feels like pay dirt

I'm the least you could do  
If only life were as easy as you  
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah  
If only life were as easy as you

I'm the least you could do  
If only life were as easy as you  
I'm the least you could do, oh yeah  
If only life were as easy as you  
If only

When my fumbling breaks you should  
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?  
When my fumbling breaks you should  
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

When my fumbling breaks you should  
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?  
When my fumbling breaks you should  
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

## Farting With A Walkman On

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind  
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again  
But if you cover your ass with the same old song  
You might as well be farting, farting with a walkman on

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind  
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again  
But if you cover your ass with the same old song  
You might as well be farting, farting with a walkman on

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind  
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again  
But if you cover your ass with the same old song  
You might as well be farting, farting with a walkman on  
Give me a fuckin' break

Farting with a walkman on  
Farting with a walkman on  
Farting with a walkman on  
Farting with a walkman on

## Diarrhea Runs In The Family

(On the phone)  
I'm in the bathroom right now, so this message might sound like shit.  
(Shit's a bunch of times)

## Ralph Wiggum

I'm going to Africa  
Yes ma'am I'm a brick  
Was President Lincoln  
Okay Mitten

There's a dog in the vent  
Chicken necks  
I pick Ken Griffey Jr.  
I fell out two times

I'm pedaling backwards this  
Snowflake tastes like fish sticks  
We're a totem pole  
Dying tickles

I heard a Frankenstein  
Lives there she's touching my  
Special area  
Go banana

Ralphie, Ralphie  
Get off, get off  
The stage, the stage  
Sweetheart, sweetheart

Oh, say can you rock?  
I'm a pop sensation  
I'm a pop sensation  
Salmon gutter

I'm Idaho you smell like  
Dead bunnies that's where I  
Saw the leprechaun  
Fun toys are fun

Chocolate microscopes  
You're not it that is so  
Nineteen ninety one  
I bit my tongue

Ralphie, Ralphie  
Get off, get off  
The stage, the stage  
Sweetheart, sweetheart

Oh, say can you rock?  
I'm a pop sensation  
I'm a pop sensation

Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj

Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj  
Yvan eht nioj

My sash says Ultraman

## Something Diabolical

Eventide rise for ritual  
With the thrill of a kill vengefully the engine will  
Roar forth steer the dead leave forced  
Driven by fear shift gears veer towards

The foolishly equipped swift these  
Failed bids breathed taillights from the crypt  
Reflect upon the way beyond redemption  
Let the necronometer beckon for the destined

Blessed when first lent sin then condemned to bear the burden  
Of this curse the consequence of which can never be averted  
Each tormented attempt that is made in vain  
To evade this debt which is certain to be paid

Without question is met with a counter clocked surge  
In reverse as if back-masked words of the black mass were  
All heard by a clutch engaged  
Over trails blazed to the western gates

Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side  
Something diabolical

Idle hands are bound for the  
Damned once Sam went down to Georgia  
Speed was forged of the divine salt  
Mined from the vaults of flame by the lost

Named as those sought as faults rests beneath  
The wrong that was spawned from the tired screech  
Of essence halted engulfed in the scent of exhaustion  
A false witness with the sensed end is brought

To bended knees when abandoned belief in  
The mephistophelian plea for wicked unleashed sends  
Heed to reap grim an infernally decreed repossession  
Vested in the fallen creed called on to retrieve

Meed with the fueled intention of deprived intervention  
The thundered calm that comes from the rattle of descension  
Numbs the panicked from a havoc that reeks of oil  
Barreling down this mortal coil

Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides  
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side  
Something diabolical

Tonight belongs to him, tonight belongs to him  
Tonight belongs to him, tonight belongs to him  
To him, to him, to him

## Overheard In A Wawa Parking

The only thing going down in this car  
Is the window 'cause your pussy stank

## Pennsylvania

We are Cop Rock, we are Screech, we are Z. Cavaricci  
We are laser-removed Tasmanian Devil tattoos  
We are Third String, we are puck, we are Special People's Club  
We are the half shirts with irreverent spring, break top ten lists

We are munsoned, we are squat, we are flashing twelve o'clock  
We are spread out butt cheeks, pulled apart so just the air leaks  
We are Ishtar, we are tab, we are no right turn on red  
We are the mustaches, the Beatles grew when they dropped

You are the heart dotting I in the word apologize  
Scribbled drunk on a postcard sent from somewhere volcanoes are  
I am the heart with no name, airbrushed on the license plate  
Of a Subaru that was registered in Pennsylvania

We are Zima, we are Barf, we are Cinderblock Yard Art  
We are Baldwin Brothers, not the good one but the others  
We are Amway, we are Shemp, we are Sir David of Brent  
We are the Queef after a porn star breaks the record

You are the heart dotting I in the word apologize  
Scribbled drunk on a postcard sent from somewhere volcanoes are  
I am the heart with no name, airbrushed on the license plate  
Of a Subaru that was registered in Pennsylvania

Do you even know what a wawa is, girl?  
Do you even know what a wawa is?  
Do you even know what a wawa is, girl?  
Do you even know what a wawa is?  
I'm in a state of P, A

## Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby

Dog will hunt, I'm the front-end loader, travoltin' over  
So try my slam on for size  
Drive stick with that Kung-Fu grip, let the banana split  
And watch it go right to your thighs

Copperfield, Copperfield style, abracadabra  
That bra, do you think I can pull it off?  
Wanna bang around? Just jot me down on your to-do list  
Under 'Put out like a fire'

'Cause I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby

Edible, strange, how do I get in your pants  
When you're tick-tockin' them  
Serious Levis, so tight, can't be classified  
That's why I'm here to fill that opening

Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass  
And Bob Hope that I might, one night, stand a chance  
Let's go, Feng Shui, the fuck around my digs  
Like a superball, bring that sunny side up

And I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

## No Hard Feelings

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe you got screwed but I dumped you  
'Cause you ain't nothin' but trash  
I put out despite the fact that you're like a  
Hawaiian Punch mustache

Right under my nose thinking  
I'm so Colonel Klink oblivious  
But how could I not see, you got off scot free  
'Cause I know this means it

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

If I wanna be repeatedly, shit on  
I'll go make Dutch porn  
When roughly translated even your naked truth  
Means squat and what's more

I'm missing you like a hijacked flight  
On September 11th  
I don't know who got on you but I'm not wrong  
In thanking them since it

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again  
You know I wouldn't give a fuck  
When what I should have got is over you sooner  
So now I'm just gonna wrap it up

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again  
You know I wouldn't give a fuck  
When what I should have got is over you sooner  
So now I'm just gonna wrap it up

I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up  
And I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up

I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up  
And I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up

# Show Us Your Hits (2011)

(Geffen Records)

## Altogether Ooky

Caught you  
Sniffing my boxers  
Who the fuck does that  
At Red Lobster?  
Creepy  
Like when Tom Cruise laughs  
That's how your finger  
Felt in my ass

I'm gonna come to your house on the back of a horse with  
A bunch of villagers carrying torches  
Most of whom dislike monsters like you, girl

The way  
Your kisses tasted  
Skeeve me the hell out  
Like shitting naked  
Why would  
I wanna stay friends?  
Rather get raped by  
Clowns again

I'm gonna come to your house on the back of a horse with  
A bunch of villagers carrying torches  
Most of whom dislike monsters like you, girl

I'm gonna go to your house on the back of a horse with  
A bunch of villagers carrying torches  
Most of whom dislike monsters like you, girl

I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again  
I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again  
I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again  
I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again  
I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again  
I rub the lotion on the skin  
Or else I get the hose again...

## Fire Water Burn

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Hello, my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy  
I'm not old or new, but middle school, fifth grade, like junior high  
I don't know mofo, if y'all peeps be buggin' givin' props to my hoe 'cause she fly  
But I can take the heat 'cause I'm the other white meat known as "Kid funky fried"  
Yea, I'm hung like planet Pluto, hard to see with the naked eye  
But if I crashed into Uranus, I would stick it where the sun don't shine  
'Cause I'm kind of like Hans Solo, always stroking my own wookie  
I'm the root of all that's evil, yea, but you can call me Cookie

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Yo, yo  
This hardcore ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice  
I'm not black like Barry White, no I am white like Frank Black is  
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven  
This honkey's gone to heaven  
But if I go to Hell, well then I hope I burn well  
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye and Lawrence  
Welk  
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist  
And Webster yea Emmanuel Lewis 'cause he's the Antichrist

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire  
We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn  
Burn motherfucker, burn

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Everbody say ho  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

Everybody here we go  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Throw your hands in the air  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)  
Wave 'em like you don't care  
(Ooo, ooo)  
C'mon party people  
(Ooo, ooo)

## Along Comes Mary

Every time I think that I'm the only one who's lonely  
Someone calls on me  
And every now and then I spend my time at rhyme  
And verse and curse those faults in me

And then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
And does she want to give me kicks and be my steady chick  
And give me pick of memories

Or maybe rather gather tales  
From all the fails and tribulations no one ever sees  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

When vague desire is the fire  
In the eyes of chicks whose sickness the games they play  
And when the masquerade is played  
The neighbor folks make jokes at who is most to blame today

And then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
And does she want to set them free and let them see reality  
From where she got her name

And will they struggle much when told  
That such a tender touch of hers will make them not the same  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

And when the morning of the warning's passed  
The gassed and flaccid kids are flung across the stars  
The psychodramas and the traumas gone  
The songs have all been sung and hung upon the scars

And then along comes Mary, Mary Mary  
Then along comes Mary, Mary, Mary  
And does she want to see the stains the dead remains of all the pain  
She left the night before

Or will their waking eyes reflect the lies  
And make them realize their urgent cry for sight no more  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch  
When we met I was sure out to lunch  
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch, sweet as the punch

## Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Vulcanize the whoopee stick  
In the ham wallet  
Cattle prod the oyster ditch  
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax  
In the gut locker  
Retrofit the pudding hatch  
Ooh la la  
With the boink swatter

If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then  
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though  
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically  
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo  
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod  
In the squish mitten  
Power drill the yippee bog  
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone  
In the bitch wrinkle  
Cannonball the fiddle cove  
Ooh la la  
With the pork steeple

If I get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then  
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though  
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically  
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo  
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where  
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto

## The Bad Touch

Ha ha, well now!  
We call this the act of mating  
But there are several other very important differences  
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought me  
And you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel  
Nuts, yes, I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert  
And you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch,  
You want it rough, you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered, want you covered,  
Like my Waffle House hash browns  
Come quicker than Fed Ex, never reaching apex like Coca-Cola  
Stock you are inclined to make me rise  
An hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket  
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt,  
Only God knows where we stuck it hieroglyphics  
Let me be Pacific, I want to be down in your South Seas  
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean,  
Means small craft advisory  
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, be minus five,  
You sunk my battle ship please turn me on,  
I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip  
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time"  
You'll love it just like Lyle  
And then we'll do it doggie style  
So we can both watch X-Files

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

(Do it now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Do it again now)  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
(Gettin' horny now)

## No Hard Feelings

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe you got screwed but I dumped you  
'Cause you ain't nothin' but trash  
I put out despite the fact that you're like a  
Hawaiian Punch mustache

Right under my nose thinking  
I'm so Colonel Klink oblivious  
But how could I not see, you got off scot free  
'Cause I know this means it

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

If I wanna be repeatedly, shit on  
I'll go make Dutch porn  
When roughly translated even your naked truth  
Means squat and what's more

I'm missing you like a hijacked flight  
On September 11th  
I don't know who got on you but I'm not wrong  
In thanking them since it

Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday  
Ain't my job to fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again  
You know I wouldn't give a fuck  
When what I should have got is over you sooner  
So now I'm just gonna wrap it up

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again  
You know I wouldn't give a fuck  
When what I should have got is over you sooner  
So now I'm just gonna wrap it up

I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up  
And I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up

I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up  
And I'm just gonna wrap it up  
I'm just gonna wrap it up

## A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night  
I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's hump palace lookin' for love  
It had been a while, in fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come  
And went since that midnight run haulin' hog to shakey town on I-10

I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons  
Through a pair of daisy duke cut-offs  
And one of those fruit of the loom Tank-tops  
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips  
Milky white skin and baby blue eyes, name was Russell

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well, I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, shallow grave  
This pretty little thing come up to me  
And starts kneadin' my balls like hard boiled eggs in a tube sock  
Said her name was Bambi and I said  
"Well, that's a Coincidence darlin'  
'Cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a Deer"

Well, she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern  
And I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask  
As I do my little kooky dance and then she told me to shush  
I guess she could sense my desperation  
Of course, it's hard to hide a hard-on  
When you're dressed like Minnie Pearl

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make  
All my fantasies come true  
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is Jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart  
As Garth Brooks gives birth to somethin' resemblin' a  
Cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"

Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later  
I'm parkin' the beef bus in Tuna Town if you know what I mean  
Got to nail her back at her trailer  
Heh, that rhymes, I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on  
When I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch  
Gave the tranny a spin and slid on into the  
Stinky pinky gulp n' guzzle big rig snooze-a-stop  
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb  
When I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of the milk carton

Well, my heart just dropped  
So I decided to do what any good Christian would  
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold  
A half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher  
When your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler  
I never thought missing children could be so sexy  
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'  
Well I find it's quite a thrill when she grinds me against her will  
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

## Kiss Me Where It Smells

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog  
'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg  
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God  
'Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog  
Like a DC ten guaranteed to go down  
But baby your black box is the one that I found  
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money  
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said

"Kiss me where it smells funny"

So down I go like I'm two thousand flushes  
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes  
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied  
She's thinking,"Holy Mackerel", I'm thinking Tuna on the side!  
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose  
'Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes  
Yeah, I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be  
Don't come up for air until you

"Kiss me where it smells funny"

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty  
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base  
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes  
Yeah, I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties  
And then drink it while I'm eating out down at the seafood shanty

Pa pa pa pa pa pa  
Aaa ha ha

## The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to explain  
I'm your biggest fan  
I just wanted to ask, could I eat your ass?  
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick, had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time, had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to complain  
Ya never wrote me back  
How could I ever eat our ass  
When ya treat your biggest fan like that?

You've had a lotta dick, had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time, had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick, Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain, I wrote to constrain  
This letter is my last  
As your biggest fan I must demand  
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick had a lotta dick  
I've had a lotta time had a lotta time  
You've had a lotta dick Chasey  
But you ain't had mine

P. S. Mom and Dad this is Chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show 'em them titties  
Now show 'em them titties

P. S. Mom and Dad this is Chasey  
Chasey this is my mom and dad  
Now show 'em them titties  
Now show 'em them titties

Would you fuck me for blow?

## Screwing You on the Beach at Night

Nothing heats up my jacuzzi like when  
this used thong I found and bedazzled with gems  
brushes ever so gently against some boobs.

I guess it's hard to believe that one man  
could have a ponytail this sensitive and  
distract an aggressive hawk that's cornered you.

I know my haiku's are freaking intense  
but even the words I made up to sound French  
don't express my feelings for your toilet parts.  
I would show up for our pottery class  
dressed like a pirate with John Water's mustache  
On a unicorn that shits your name in stars.

Fuckings cool, but Jimmy's the romantic type.  
Loitering on cliffs, thinking about stuff like,  
Screwing you on the beach at night.

One milkshake, two straws.

Fuckings cool, but Jimmy's the romantic type.  
Loitering on cliffs, thinking about stuff like,  
Screwing you on the beach at night.

Don't I (Don't I)  
Sound so (Sound so)  
Sexy (Sexy)  
Echo (Echo.)

Release the doves!

## Three Point One Four

My last girlfriend didn't like me, thought she might be  
Most likely a dyke, she just didn't excite me  
Lefty, yeah, but that was alright  
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright  
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony  
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company  
Ass like a donkey actin' funky gave her 'L', now she's a flunky  
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of sea monkeys

Early bird gets the worm, spread your legs or spread the word  
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd  
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color  
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother  
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy  
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica  
With their pussies like 'em easy and hot and sweet  
Like a Rice Krispie Treat gee, you know what I really want in a girl, me

I need to find a new vagina  
Any kind of new vagina  
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina  
Calvin Klein kind of North Carolina

Women are like dog, do hear me through, don't interrupt  
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick up  
I'd fill the generation gap, clean the cobwebs from her rafters  
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture  
No age just ain't a gauge, I like my girls like my cheese  
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only  
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner  
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner

Like Sizzler she got a beef, we'll chew the fat  
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap  
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough  
No, I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up  
Just independent like NOFX, smart like Janeane Garafolo  
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know  
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System gee  
You know what I really want in a girl, me

I need to find a new vagina  
Any kind of new vagina  
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina  
Kevin Kline kind of South Carolina

Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina  
Vagina, vagina

## You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

One night me and the crew hit the road on a mission  
To slurp free brew and go fuzzy flounder fishin'  
Kayjees on the hi-fi and the keg was bottomless  
Until we brought Skip O' Pot2mus

And Daddy gonna get some, probably underage and dumb  
And everybody knows that the Daddy eats his young  
Lupus in the lavatory, makin' a big stink  
Messin' up the toilet seat and poopin' in the sink

M.S.G.'s tanked up and wizzin' in a cup  
Waitin' for a sprinkle genie to come and drink it up  
'Cause I'm the one bottle willy with the 12 Horse Ale  
After that I get silly like Soupy Sales

Now it's midnight and I'm completely boofy blitzed  
A six of Shlitz and the Jew brew Manischewitz  
With my beers, tinted glasses, I'm ready to bitty battle  
I'm hungry like the wolf but I'll end up tending cattle

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Here she comes, a funky fried cutie  
Mr.Jimmy Pop Ali is gonna get some booty  
'Cause I'm Mr.Mcfeelie with a speedy delivery  
You'd think I was a ditch, the way this chick was diggin' me

But maybe I should check and see if this is where I wanna be  
Hey Lupus is she cute? Yeah, for a pygmie  
Aw, what do you know? You're probably goin' home alone  
And it wouldn't be the first time that I gave a dog a bone

Plus beauty, it's only skin deep  
It's in the eye of the beholder and my beholder's about to tweak  
I could tap that barrel, in fact I know I can  
It's a mnage trois, you and me and Heineken

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

Regrets I've had a few  
First and foremost I'd like to mention you

For the sake of conversation, we'll call you the Brand New Heavy  
You're a mix between an Ugnaut and Eugene Levy  
You can call it big-boned, I prefer to call it gut  
You're Buddha, you're Shamu, you're Jabba the fuckin' Hutt

You had harpoon scars and your boobies were hairy  
I smelt tuna melt but I wasn't gonna worry  
It was 3 a.m. and I wasn't gettin' squat  
So I rolled you up in flour and aimed it for the wet spot

I was butterin' rolls like a soup kitchen Christian  
Then it hit me, something bit me while my little rod was fishin'  
I was deep sea fishing, I took a fat chance  
But how was I supposed to know that Jabberjaws lived in your pants

At that junction I came to realize  
That only Frank Purdue likes thighs that size  
Fatty fatty boom ba latty, I gotta lament  
That you were not a girl, you were an experiment

'Cause you're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(You're pretty when I'm drunk)  
You're pretty when I'm drunk  
(And I'm pretty fuckin' drunk)

## Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby

Dog will hunt, I'm the front-end loader, travoltin' over  
So try my slam on for size  
Drive stick with that Kung-Fu grip, let the banana split  
And watch it go right to your thighs

Copperfield, Copperfield style, abracadabra  
That bra, do you think I can pull it off?  
Wanna bang around? Just jot me down on your to-do list  
Under 'Put out like a fire'

'Cause I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby

Edible, strange, how do I get in your pants  
When you're tick-tockin' them  
Serious Levis, so tight, can't be classified  
That's why I'm here to fill that opening

Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass  
And Bob Hope that I might, one night, stand a chance  
Let's go, Feng Shui, the fuck around my digs  
Like a superball, bring that sunny side up

And I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this  
All you need is my uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss, baby  
Uhn tiss, uhn tiss, uhn tiss

## I Hope You Die

You must die, I alone am best

I hope you flip some guy the bird  
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve  
In front of the Beatles' tour bus  
A bookmobile and a Mack truck

Hauling hazardous biological waste  
The light turns red, you have no brakes  
And 'Hard Copy' gets it all on tape  
So you can see the look on your face

Die die die die die die die  
Die die die die die die die

I hope your Pinto begins to spin  
Takes out a disabled Vietnam veteran  
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize winner  
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner

Perhaps even the British Royal Family  
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy  
And we can't forget the newlyweds  
And those 'Jerry's Kids' are as good as dead

I hope this helps to emphasize  
I hope this helps to clarify  
I hope you die

I hope your cell mate thinks he's God  
But CNN refer to him as 'Bowling Ball Bag Bob'  
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse  
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse

While he masturbates to photos of livestock  
He does the 'Silence of the Lambs' dance to Christian rock  
Eats feces and quotes from 'Deliverance'  
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince

Die die die die die die die  
Die die die die die die die

I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson  
And forces you to play a game called 'Balls On Chin'  
And whatever happens next is all a blur  
But you remember 'Fist' can be a verb

And when you finally regain consciousness  
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress  
And the prison guard looks the other way  
Cause he's the guy you flipped the bird the other day

I hope this helps to emphasize  
I hope this helps to clarify  
I hope you die

I hope you die

## Disco Pogo

Die Atzen - Jimmy Pop  
We'll do it live!  
I brought a beat from Berlin  
A concoction from Die Atzen  
There ain't no sitting this one out  
So rocking is your option  
I know those creeps that make whack beats on their Laptops are pissed  
But you can stop pretending you're too cool to dance to this  
Forget the Amplifiers, turn the heat up to eleven

Let the sweat drip as bitches strip and rain panties from heaven  
This Party's a Toyota 'cause we don't know when its stopping  
So dance like MC Hammer if he had a drinking problem

Disco Pogo Atzen logo  
Atzen style is disco pogo  
Disco pogo Atzen sing  
Atzen party dingaling

(Disco Pogo)

(Disco Pogo)

DISCO POGO, Dingalingaling, Dingalingaling.  
EVERYBODY SING'  
DISCO POGO, Dingalingaling, Dingalingaling.  
EVERYBODY SING'

The Season has started, the freaky party has begun  
yes all the freaks are invited  
Then now is time to have fun  
So put your hands up in the sky and let the sweat pour from the ceiling  
Party people in the house  
Let me know you got that feeling

# Singles

## Jackass

Jackass

I'm a pimped out Jedi Knight

Obi-Wan meets Dolemite  
Ben Kenobi went and got himself a pompadour  
These aren't the whores you're looking for

Jackass

If the Crocodile Hunter smoked weed  
Steve Irwin burnin' herb in his jeep  
Thinks the kangaroos are laughin' at his haircut  
Used a bowl for that too

But if you knew me like I know myself  
You'd hate me like I hate myself

'Cause I'm a jackass

Got no rabbit in this hat  
'Cause I'm pullin' it out my ass  
Ain't Sigfried or Roy but I could be  
Makin' magic with the pussy

Jackass

Like that dude in Tienanmen Square  
With a six pack and a folding chair  
Got bombed at the parade and ended up  
Playin' Chicken with the tanks

But if you knew me like I know myself  
You'd hate me like I hate myself

'Cause I'm a jackass

They could out the lesbian Spice Girl  
They could try to run game on the O.D.B.  
They could kick every douche bag off the 'Real World'  
But they won't get rid of me

If I knew you like you know yourself  
I'd hate you like you hate yourself  
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself  
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself

'Cause you're a jackass

## Chew Toy

Woah-Oh-oh,  
Woah-Oh-oh.

Can't by love so let's just make it.  
Jealous of your dog cause he's seen you naked.  
I'll sniff your rear, if I get my paws on ya.  
Think that's weird? Wait till you hear how we're gonna  
Role play, The Color Purple, do shit you'd read in Trent Reznor's journal.  
Fuck to the sound of a zombie choir, till your private parts look like they've been in a fire.  
Turned on, but it feels so wrong, like when you relate to a NickelBack song.  
Inhibition is gone with the blinds drawn, but you don't mind doing it with the lights on.  
Cause I bet the kind of love that you make to a man would look good as a mural on my uncles van.  
He rents to own lend me his cologne, now I feel like a wolf with a saxophone.

You make me Looney Tunes,  
I hallucinate.  
When I see you,  
I see steak.

Smirk, nod, wet my lips like when a black running-back knows how great he is.  
With an amazing win, back in a stadium full of motherfuckers that regret trading him.  
But I digress, Why's your dress not on the floor? Thighs and breasts make the best fried chicken but yours  
Made the bucket list, don't know what the fuck that is, something like a dying wish.  
Wish I was dying with you on top of me like a fraction.  
A 10 that's over 18 can't do the math then, cram time, you got behind, let me school that butt like it's Columbine.  
So fine, like Charlie Brown's hair. Out to get you over hear and in your underwear.  
Hit that pussy at home, like a predator drone. Now I feel like a wolf with a saxophone.

You make me Looney Tunes,  
I hallucinate.  
When I see you,  
I see steak.

My jaw hit the floor as someone played the trumpet.  
Then my tongue rolled out, now ain't that some shit?  
Heard a foghorn, then my heart popped out.  
It was shaped like a heart, what the fuck is that about?

Woah-Oh-oh,  
Woah-Oh-oh.

You make me Looney Tunes,  
I hallucinate.  
When I see you,  
I see steak.

## American Bitches

Raise your hand if you like American bitches  
Locked in girl on girl kisses  
Well, I do

You're just mad you can't score American bitches  
So you're blowing up shit, which  
Just goes to prove

That eighteen year old bombs are dynamite  
Yes, eighteen year old bombs are dynamite

(What kind of a man sits Indian style?)

Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid  
Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid

Trust me holmes, you would kill for American bitches  
And the freedom of tits if  
You only knew, who (blew?)

That eighteen year old bombs are dynamite  
Yes, eighteen year old bombs are dynamite

(What kind of a man sits Indian style?)

Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid  
Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid

Come to Philadelphia  
And fall in love with the unholy  
My boy knows this stripper that looks just like Angelina Jolie

Just  
Don't bring up  
What that club  
You belong to does  
Dungeons & Dragons

Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid  
Camping with your bros, as your playoff beard grows  
Ain't gonna get your whack ass laid

Where I come from bras are booby traps  
And soft targets have a bikini wax  
Where I come from bras are booby traps  
And soft targets have a bikini wax  
Where I come from bras are booby traps  
And soft targets have a bikini wax  
Where I come from bras are booby traps  
And soft targets have a bikini wax

## Dimes

Where to begin?  
They call me tropical storm Jim  
Here's your really local forecast, there's a warm front moving in  
Pin drop, yeah you heard it when I moon walked in the room  
While around the water cooler at the Legion of Doom  
They're shouting  
"Why's the new guy with the sweet moves talking that smack?"  
Well I'm the kind of crazy made from the shit of a bat  
I swing like hell but know full well that I won't win the fight  
But big man I'm the beta male that's gonna ruin your night

My rhymes score dimes ain't nothing you can do  
It's hard to clap with your dick in your hand dude  
I write the songs that girls like to dance to  
I write the songs that girls like to dance to

I write the songs that girls like to dance to  
I write the songs that girls like to dance to

What? Who me? Who am I? Well I'm just awesome  
Like watching someone else getting kicked in the balls and DJs hit pause when I waltz in, my thoughts enthrall crowds for hours and it would come at no surprise if I had magical powers, poof  
Buy me beers, cheers. Here's to blood, sweat and tears for fears  
Yes I get stupid like a baby with pierced ears  
So drop me like them panties drop when I drop knowledge  
Danger was my middle name but I changed it in college

Make them motherfuckers sweat [x12]  
Make them disco babies wet

Turn on a dime with a rhyme so quick  
Get stuck in her head like porn star dick

Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Turn on a dime with a rhyme so quick  
Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Make them motherfuckers sweat  
Get stuck in her head like porn star dick
Table des matières

Dingleberry Haze (1994)

Go Down

Cheese Tidbit

Legend In My Spare Time

Neighbour Invasion

Mama Say

Rang Dang

Earlameyer The Butt Pirate

One Way

Shitty Record Offer

Coo Coo Ca Choo

Live At The Apollo

Use Your Fingers (1995)

Rip Taylor is God

We Are the Knuckleheads

Legend in My Spare Time

B.H.G.P.S.A.

Mama Say

Kids in America

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

The Evils of Placenta Hustling

One Way

Shitty Record Offer

Go Down

Earlameyer The Butt Pirate

No Rest for the Wicked

She Ain't Got No Legs

We Like Meat

Coo Coo Ca Choo

Rang Dang

Nightmare at the Apollo

K.I.D.S. Incorporated

One Fierce Beer Coaster (1996)

Kiss Me Where It Smells

Lift Your Head Up High (and Blow Your Brains Out)

Fire Water Burn

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks

Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me

It's Tricky

Asleep At The Wheel

Shut Up

Your Only Friends Are Make Believe

Boom

Going Nowhere Slow

Reflections of Remoh

Hooray for Boobies (1999)

I Hope You Die

The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope

Mama's Boy

Three Point One Four

Mope

Yummy Down On This

The Ballad of Chasey Lain

R.S.V.P.

Magna Cum Nada

The Bad Touch

That Cough Came With a Prize

Take The Long Way Home

Hell Yeah

Right Turn Clyde

This Is Stupid

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey

Along Comes Mary

Hefty Fine (2005)

Strictly For The Tardcore

Balls Out

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

I'm The Least You Could Do

Farting With A Walkman On

Diarrhea Runs In The Family

Ralph Wiggum

Something Diabolical

Overheard In A Wawa Parking

Pennsylvania

Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss

No Hard Feelings

Show Us Your Hits (2011)

Altogether Ooky

Fire Water Burn

Along Comes Mary

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

The Bad Touch

No Hard Feelings

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The Stripper Is Crying

Kiss Me Where It Smells

The Ballad of Chasey Lain

Screwing You on the Beach at Night

Three Point One Four

You're Pretty When I'm Drunk

Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss

I Hope You Die

Disco Pogo

Singles

Jackass

Chew Toy

American Bitches

Dimes
Actuellement:

Jimmy Pop – Chant, guitare (Depuis 1992)

Jared Hasselhoff – Guitare basse (Depuis 1995)

DJ Q-Ball – Clavier, synthétiseur, turntables, chœur (Depuis 1995)

Adam Perry – Batterie, percussion (Depuis 2006)

Daniel P. Carter - Guitare (Depuis 2009)

Anciens membres:

Foof – Chant (1992)

Bubba K. Love – Batterie (1992–1993)

Daddy Long Legs – Chant, basse (1992–1995)

M.S.G. – Turntables (1993–1995)

Skip O'Pot2Mus – Chant (1993–1995)

Tard-E-Tard – Turntables (1995)

Spanky G – Batterie (1995–1998)

Lupus Thunder - Guitare (1994–2008)

Willie The New Guy – Batterie (1999–2006)
