

Lucky Man

By

Kenneth George

Copyright 2016 Kenneth George

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition Licence Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.

Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

*****

#  Contents

#  Part one

The presentation

In the hospital

Decision time

#  PART 2

Five years later

At the Institute

One night in London

Full Court Press

The Day After

The Journey Home

Epilogue. Two years later.

Other books by Kenneth George

Contact the Author Online

About the Author

#  Part one

#  The presentation

I hate things like this, I feel like a spare part. All the great and the good are milling around glad handing each, other while Caroline, my wife, talks to them about helping her charity. I've already met the local MP. Then there is Roger Dewey, the local head of Children's Services; I swear if he lays his hands on her again, I'll deck the bastard. The only reason they are here is because Caroline is doing so well. They are hoping to claim credit. They make me sick. The problem is I also make myself sick.

Look at me; a college lecturer. I teach engineering. I've settled for semi-security and a good pension, and I hate myself for it. Before the company went broke I was the top man for control engineering. Then came the crunch, and it was a matter of move away or take a job at the college. We couldn't disrupt the children's education, so I settled for a secure salary and a pension. Ten years later the children are at university and I'm still there. Meanwhile, Caroline has taken her new freedom and shown the world what she can do.

Caroline always said that I was the clever one; she always put herself down. I knew different. She was smart, but in a different way; Caroline was an organiser, a persuader of people. She trained as a nursery nurse but she was wasted doing that; I knew it even if she didn't. By the time the children left school she worked as a frustrated nursery manager, for an organisation, she was perfectly capable of running. When the manager resigned I urged her to take it on. She had the ability but lacked the confidence, so I did my best to give her that confidence. I wanted her to fulfil her true potential. Because that's what you do when you love someone. She'd given her all for us, now it was her turn.

I didn't realise would take over her life leaving no room for me. OK, I admit I'm jealous. I'm jealous of her job, not jealous because it's better than mine, but jealous because it gets all her time and attention leaving nothing for me. I don't resent her success, I'm proud of her, proud of what she has achieved. It's just that it's ruined the plan. When the children left it was supposed to be our time. Time to do things together, see the world. Now the plan's gone to hell and I hardly see her. That's the reason I'm here. If I don't show up to these events I never get to spend time with her. Who knows if it goes well, we might even share a small moment of intimacy when we get home.

We take our seats for the presentation ceremony. Caroline waves as she makes her way up to the stage. I move to the far side of the room and can just see her take her seat in the wings, next to that lecherous bastard from Children's Services. I watch Caroline going through her speech. Until recently she would have asked for my help, but I have no idea what's in this speech.

A local radio celebrity steps up to the podium and outlines the agenda for the evening and the room becomes quiet. Caroline is up for two awards one for her organisation and one individual.

I sit through the first part waiting for the Non-Government Organisations awards. We've known for months Caroline's project had won this award she was even asked who she wanted to present it. Like a fool, I'd suggested the head of Children's Services. 'Doesn't hurt to get these people on side,' I'd told her. That was before I found out what a letch he was.

'Now we come to the organisation that has made the most progress in childcare,' said our master of ceremonies. 'Presenting this award is the head of Children's Services for Welfordshire, Mr Roger Dewey.'

People applaud, but not me. This bloke is an arsehole of the first order. I've seen him groping any woman he can get close to. He's only been in the job six months and already he's got a reputation. He's talking to us all about how the organisation rose from the ashes. You'd think he was there, but that was two years ago, and the council he represents were part of the original problem. Someone has briefed him well, though. He tells us all who the winner is and Caroline steps forward to receive her award.

He walks back to his seat and I wait for the speech. Normally I'm as familiar with the speech as she is. I'm her trial audience, her advisor; cut that; expand on this, but this time I have no idea what she will say. She looks back at Dewey and he nods to her. Almost immediately I sense something is wrong. She's talking politics, telling us of the problems caused by the government's funding cuts.

'Keep politics out of it,' I always said. 'The people you slag off today might be in power tomorrow.'

I glance around the room and see uncomfortable looking faces. Now she's thanking people, the trustees, the nursery managers, the case workers. She looks back at him again.

'Last but by no means least, I'd like to thank Mr Roger Dewey without his help and support we would never have made it this far.'

'What help and support' I'm asking myself?

This award was sewn up before he even took the job. Why is she thanking him, without even a passing mention of me? I was the one who helped her deal with a hostile committee who wanted to close the project down. She sits down, and he puts his hand on her back. He moves his hand across her bare shoulders then lower down her back. This is not a congratulatory pat on the back from a colleague; it's the caress of a husband or... lover.

Suddenly everything is clear. The late night meetings, the weekend conferences and the fundraising trips to London, all explained in an instant. I get out of my seat. She is making no attempt to stop Dewey running his hand over her back. Not until our eyes meet. I have no idea what expression I'm wearing, but it can't be pretty. Her mouth falls open, and she gasps, before shaking herself and talking to Dewey who quickly pulls his hand back. I make my way to the aisle, then I'm free and walking out of the room.

Once outside I lean against the wall. I gasp in the cold night air and consider my position. It can't be true, not my Caroline, but I know that it is. I've not been teaching for ten years without learning something about body language. Dewey's hands were telling me 'She's mine, this is my woman.' Greedy bastard has another one at home looking after the kids.

What do I do now? Do I go back in there and pretend nothing has happened? Can I do that? Can I look at my Caroline without seeing that slimy bastard with his hands all over her? What about him? Can I resist smashing his face in as soon as he comes near me? No, going back inside is out of the question. I've got some serious thinking to do and I can't do it here. Where is my car? Finding my car keys, I press the unlock button and the 'chirp chirp' attracts my attention and I turn to see the lights flash.

Sitting in my car I feel better, insulated from the problems outside. I start the engine. Home, that's where I need to be, I can think there. Caroline has another award to come so she'll be tied up here for another hour or so. I'm on the road before the arguments in my head start.

'What are you doing?' asks the voice. 'You can't be sure there's anything going on. It's not as if you caught them at it?'

'He knows what he saw; that's all he needs to know. It was obvious.'

'But there might be a reasonable explanation.'

'Yes, he's fucking her what further explanation do you need'

All this is going on as I'm driving down the hill toward the bridge. I reach the crossroads; two cars are coming towards me. The first car slows to turn left and the second car pulls out to pass. There is not enough space and I react too slowly. The car tries to pull back in but I hit the back end and it knocks me sideways. The impact sets off the airbags and I can see nothing. There is another impact and everything goes black.

Blue lights are flashing outside, I reach for the door and a searing pain shoots through me. I can't move; it's like I'm pinned to the seat. The door is pulled open and a stocky man in green overalls stands before me.

'Hello mate. My name's George, I'm a paramedic. What do I call you?'

'John, John Fletcher'

'OK, John what have we got here?'

He got out a torch and looked around, opened the rear door and looked around again.

'John mate, I'm not going to lie to you, we're in serious trouble here. I want you to stay quite still. There is a tube, part of the bridge; it's come through the car, through you and the seat. I'm going to have to call out the Fire and Rescue service to get you out.'

George leaves me, and I wonder how things could get any worse. In a few minutes, he's back. He sits talking to me while we wait. More blue lights as the Fire and Rescue arrives. George goes to talk to them and then comes back to me.

'Well John, I hope you're not too attached to this car because they're going to have to cut you out of here. It's a piece of metal right, not important? We're going to get you out of here, but the car has got to go.'

I nodded, and George started to move out of the way

'George, are my legs alright?'

'Yeah mate, they look fine.'

'It's just that I can't feel anything down there.'

He's trying to disguise it but his cheerful expression changes. I'm in serious trouble.

They are cutting the car apart first the doors, then the roof. The floodlights mean that I can see the galvanised tube sticking out of my abdomen. George fills me with morphine and they cut through the tube.

* * *

#  In the hospital

The lights are so bright and I'm surrounded by people. One man seems to be in charge and he's giving orders to the others, someone is talking to me but I can't understand what they are saying. They inject something into the back of my hand and everything fades to black again.

I wake in a brightly lit room. My throat is as dry as the bottom of a bird cage. She is here in the room, still wearing the dress she wore for the presentation. She has her back to me. The same back that Dewey was stroking last night. I'm lying on my side, propped up by pillows. I search for water without success.

'Water' I croak

She turns on hearing my voice and rushes to the bed.

'Thank God you're alright; I've been so worried about you.'

She presses the call button to summon the nurse.

'What happened to you? What were you doing?'

The nurse bustles into the room and Caroline makes room for her

'How are you, Mr Fletcher?'

'Thirsty, very thirsty.'

'I can't give you any water yet; it will make you sick. Here suck on this; it will make you feel better.'

She puts a small ice cube into my mouth. It's too cold but so soothing.

'Try not to talk too much. I'll tell the doctor you're awake and he'll be in to talk to you soon.'

Caroline comes back. Her eyes are red; she's been crying. There are tears running down her cheeks now. She takes my hand and squeezes it.

'When the presentation was over I looked for you but couldn't find you anywhere. When I found the car missing, I had to get a taxi home.'

'You mean Dewey didn't give you a lift,' I think. I would say it but it's hard to talk with an ice cube in your mouth. I pulled the ice cube out for a moment.

'Why are you here Caroline?'

'What do you mean, why am I here? The hospital rang and told me my husband was seriously injured, I came straight here. What else was I meant to do?'

'Call Dewey and tell him the bedroom is available.' It would be cruel to give voice to my thoughts, and I find it difficult to be cruel to her.

'Go home Caroline; get some sleep. It looks like you need it and I certainly do.' 'Anyway you heard the nurse, I mustn't talk much.' I put the ice cube back in and sucked on it.

'Maybe I'll wait, and talk to the doctor'

'I'm not a child Caroline. The doctor can say all he needs to say to me; after all, I am the patient. --Just go home and get some rest. If you really want to do something for me, you can call Bob at the college. Tell him what happened, and I won't be working for while.'

'What's wrong John? Why are you being like this?'

'I don't know; maybe it's got something to do with being run through with a steel tube.'

'Perhaps you're right; I should go home and come back later when you are feeling better.'

She gets up picks up her coat then bends to kiss my cheek.

'I'll be back later,' she says as she puts her coat on.

She reaches the door and turns back to face me.

'I love you,' she says, and a tear run down her cheek.

* * *

The doctor is a cheerful sort. He's arranged for me to have something to drink and he's viewing my scans on his tablet computer.

'You're a lucky man Mr Fletcher. The tube missed all the vital organs. How do you feel?'

'Like a survivor of the Zulu wars. I'm expecting Michael Caine to come in any minute with a progress report.'

'What? Oh yes the film, I caught it on Netflix a while back. Good to see you've kept your sense of humour. As I say you've been very lucky just a two broken ribs that we've wired back in place. No lasting damage.'

'So why don't my legs work?'

His expression changes. His smile is gone and now he looks concerned. Uncovering my legs he goes through a routine of tests. He pulls a pin from the collar of his scrubs.

'Yell when you feel something,' he says.

I'm not watching what he's doing but I can guess.

'Pull your toes down for me.'

I tell my toes to move but when I look down everything stays still.

'Now up,' he says

Once more my brain sends out the command but nothing happens.

He covers my legs again and makes some notes on his tablet.

'OK, it looks like we've got some nerve damage. Now, I don't want you to panic, it's probably temporary. When the tube broke your ribs, it also displaced your spine a little. We know none of the nerves were severed but they might be deadened, or it could be some swelling in the spine putting pressure on the nerves. We'll leave it for a few days and do more tests.'

'Not so lucky after all doc?'

'You're still alive Mr Fletcher. Given the circumstances, I'd say that was lucky.'

He leaves me and I fall asleep. The nurses come in and make their observations and I go back to sleep.

* * *

#  Decision time

It's evening now. The nurses move me into a sitting position and fill me with morphine. At 6:30 pm, she walks into my room. She looks less tired but her eyes are still red. She smiles as she walks over to the bed and kisses me on the lips.

'You're looking better; what did the doctor say?'

'He told me I'm a lucky man. A week ago I would have agreed with him.'

'You are lucky, we both are. You survived and we still have each other.'

'Do we Caroline? Do we still have each other? This is the first time in months that I've seen you before 9:00 pm.'

She looks down at the floor and I wait for her to make a clean breast of it. She decides against it and gives me a wan smile.

'You're right, I've been neglecting us, but that's all going to change. It's time I got my priorities right. I'm going to delegate more. They owe me some leave, so when I get you home I'll take a few weeks off and take care of you.'

'I'm not coming home, I'm not sure where I'm going yet, but I'm not coming home.'

'Don't be silly, of course you're coming home. Who will take care of you? You're not just going to get up and walk out of here.'

For a second, I wonder if she's found out about my legs, but then I realise that even the nurses won't be told until there is a diagnosis. No, she's expecting me to be discharged in the next ten days and my ribs won't let me do much.

'I'm aware of that. In fact I doubt that I'll be out of here for a few weeks, but when they do discharge me, I won't be coming home. You see I know what's been going on between you and Dewey.'

Her face is starting to redden, and she looks off to her left before bringing her eyes back to look at me again.

'There is nothing going on between us. Who would tell you such a thing.'

'He did, Dewey."This is my woman," he said. Just before I left; he said it to me and anyone else who was interested.'

'What are you talking about he hardly said a word to you last night, and I don't blame him. I thought you were being quite rude.'

'Not as rude as I would have been if I'd known. At that point, I only knew of his reputation of being a lecherous womaniser. Oh no, it was when you were up on the stage and he didn't need words for what he had to say. You know what happened you saw me.'

'I saw you get up looking angry, but I didn't know you were spying on me.'

'Spying? Do you think I wanted to witness you two cosying up to each other? I like to watch you, It fills my heart with pride to see you up there being the person I always knew you could be. That's how I was feeling when it all started to go wrong. When that little weasel had his hands all over your back, and you did nothing to stop him.'

I watch her undo her top button and try to cool off by flapping the front of her blouse.

'Why do they make these places so hot?' she says. It's a rhetorical question and I offer no answer.

'All right he gave me a little pat on the back but that surely not worth splitting up.'

'It was more than that. I know you Caroline caressing and rubbing your back is like foreplay to you. The disturbing thing is that he knows you well enough to do the same things I would.'

The tears start to form; it gives me no pleasure. She's dabbing at her eyes with a tissue and trying to control her breathing; she wants to say something so I wait.

'I was going to tell you last night when we got home. When I found out what happened I decided to wait until you were back on your feet and more able to handle it. I'm so sorry John, I didn't mean it to happen really I didn't. I was under such pressure and I buckled.'

'Are you saying he pressured you?'

'Well yes, I mean no, sort of. I mean at first yes. Does it matter? It's over; I told him last night, never to lay his hands on me again. It was short,and not very sweet. I made the biggest mistake of my life, now I'm pleading with you John, please let me try to repair the damage. We can get past this I know we can.'

'I wish I had your confidence Caroline but the fact is, I don't. I lost my self-respect a long time ago but finding out that I've lost your respect, did things to me. You are not the only one who made sacrifices for our family; I sacrificed a good career because we couldn't disrupt the children's education by moving to another part of the country. When they left for university you started your career again and we stayed because I wanted you to see how good you are. I can make logical decisions, help with the plans, but I could never handle those people the way you do. You are so damned good at the whole management thing, I had to give you the chance to spread your wings and fly. Now you have that confidence; now you can do it on your own. Where does that leave me? For ten years I've been teaching kids who aren't interested, subjects far below the level I used to function at. It drove me crazy. As the years went by and they made the job more quantifiable and political I just hated it more. The only reason I stuck it out was because it was for us, you and me. Now I find there is no us, what am I going to do?'

'No one that heard me speak last night would think I'd lost respect for you.'

'You mean the speech where you said that you owe everything to Dewey?'

'No I mean the second one where I told everyone how I owed everything to my wonderful, supportive, unselfish husband. People were calling for you to stand up but you weren't there. I had to tell them you were very shy. If you want to move away to find a better job, we can do that. I'll give up my job and look for something else wherever we end up. Please, John, let me try to make it right.'

'And how will you quitting your job make anything right? It will just be another thing for me to feel guilty about. It's alright, I'm not blaming you, I'm not the man you married. The man you married would never settle for the security of having a wage. He would have found a way of working around the problem even if that meant setting up his own consultancy. He wouldn't have ended up like me. I don't blame you, I don't respect me either.'

'But I do love you and I do respect you. All the things you think of as negatives I see as positives. Yes, you've changed, but you had a family to support. I wanted you to take the job at the college. I wanted a regular income. I wanted to be sure we could pay the mortgage at the end of the month. I'm sorry I never realised how much you hated the job. If you want to quit, that's fine by me. I can support us. Please, John can't we leave all of this until I've got you back home. Give us some time it will all seem clearer then.'

She doesn't see that she is just digging herself deeper into a hole. There is an uneasy silence as Caroline continues to dab at her eyes with a tissue. It is me that breaks the silence.

'I have to get back my self-respect, be the man I know I can be, just like you. I need to do that. I can't kid myself anymore. What I thought I had, the reason I used to accept the situation, is gone.'

'We can do that together. I can help you like you helped me. I really will be the best wife.'

'You already have been, for more than twenty years. A better wife than I had a right to ask for, but that is over. You can't be part of the solution because you are part of the problem'

Now comes what I expect to be the final salvo.

'What am I going to tell the children?'

'Whatever you like. Tell them we grew apart, or I couldn't live with your work commitments. You could even tell them the truth. I'll go along with whatever you say as long as you don't make me the bad guy.'

That's it, it's over, there are no more arguments to bring up but she hits me with something I hadn't expected.

'What about Roger, does he get off scot free? He's ruined our lives, and he walks away without a scratch.'

'It takes two to tango Caroline.'

'I know that,but he did all the chasing. I deserve what is happening, but you've done nothing to deserve this. You're sitting there acting calm, but I know this is breaking your heart. I hate myself for what I've done, but he doesn't care.'

So she's spoken to him today, well what did she expect; that he'd be grief stricken? I bet he tried to talk her into letting him come around tonight. That would explain why she is so disgusted.

'I don't know why I am so calm, maybe it's all the opiates they are pumping into me. You shouldn't worry about Dewey, he'll get his. By the end of tomorrow, the inquiry will have started and once it does there will be several women ready to jump in with their allegations. Maureen from the college crèche is one of them. I tried to tell you about her two weeks ago but you were too tired sit and talk.'

Now she's sobbing her heart out, and all I can do is sit and watch. I'm torn between wanting to comfort her and thinking she deserves it.

'Dewey asked her out to dinner to discuss her funding needs. He got annoyed when she wanted to bring her husband.'

She realises what a fool she's been and what a worthless piece of shit Dewey is. She gets up and runs out of the room with tears streaming down her face. I sit and wait I know she will come back. It isn't over until she has won, or so she thinks.

She's back, the tear streaks are washed away as is all of her makeup. Her eyes are still red and she looks ready to cry again at any moment.

'So you are going to report him. You know that it will reflect on me.'

'You'll be alright. Your committee won't want to lose you. I should know I found half of them for you. They know a good thing when they see it; the worst you'll get is a written warning. Dewey is a different matter. Seducing women whose organisations are dependant on him for funding? I think the council will take a very dim view of that. Cheapskate that he is, he probably did it all on expenses. When I give them the dates of the weekend conferences and the fundraising trips to London, I'm sure they'll look into it. If I'm right, that's fraud, he might go to gaol. I hope you were worth it.'

She's sitting beside the bed, unable to control her crying.

'You could try to dig him out by denying everything.'

She's holding one hand out towards me shaking her head as she continues to cry. I'm calm unaffected by her outpouring of grief. She's grieving for what she must know has just died.

I wait for her to stop crying and eventually she does. She dries her eyes and tries to compose herself.

'So what happens now? If you're not coming home where will you go?'

'I'll stay here until I can cope on my own, then I'll find somewhere to live. I'll let you know where to find me; if you decide to sell the house you can send me my half'

'No I mean us, what happens to us?'

'Well, the doctor reckons that clean breaks heal faster so perhaps you'd better leave now and not come back.'

'But I love you.'

'Then set me free'

Her head goes down and she swallows. For the first time in our life together she's given up; accepted defeat. She gets up, comes to the bed and kisses my cheek then turns and walks to the door. She wipes away a tear gives me a wave, and then she's gone.

It's not over, not yet, not for her. She'll be back to try again. The boys will be in to see me, and they'll put pressure on me to go home; to give her another chance. Who knows if they keep it up long enough they may even find out about the paralysis. It will make no difference. It's like a switch has flicked in my brain. For the first time, I am top of my priority list. I don't need anyone's pity. With what is in my head, I don't need legs. The college won't move my lab to the ground floor or a building with a lift. I can probably do a deal on severance. With severance and insurance payments I'll have some time to bring my skills up to date. Perhaps the doctor is right. I am a lucky man. Lucky to be alive, lucky to have found out when I've still got time to start again. I'm lucky to have the cash to tide me over until I get back up the ladder. Why then, do I feel so empty inside?

#  PART 2

#  Five years later

I don't want to do this, I never do. I must have given two dozen or more presentations and lectures in the last year, but I'm still not used to it. The butterflies are fluttering in my stomach as I walk through Embankment Gardens towards Savoy Place.

"Good morning Michael," I say as I reach my destination. Michael Faraday says nothing; statues are like that. He just stands looking out across the gardens and the river.

'You haven't seen a nice young lady have you? About five eight, long dark hair usually in a ponytail, high cheek bones, figure to die for, but hidden under trousers and loose sweater?'

'No, I didn't think so. She'll be late, they always are aren't they.'

We've struck up a bit of a relationship, Michael and I. He's the quiet one always gives me a chance to speak and yes, he's a hero of mine. No visit to London is complete without a quick word with Michael. Today I'm visiting his home, The Institute of Engineering Technology, as an invited speaker. I just wish Lauren would get here. She knows exactly when to start the video and change the slides without me having to tell her. I don't want to brief anyone else.

'I hope she hasn't missed her train,' I say. The statue remains silent.

My thoughts are disturbed by the click clack of heeled shoes behind me. I turn, and there she is, wearing a blue skirt suit and high heels.

'You've got legs!'

'Oh, you've noticed. I only bring them out on special occasions, and you did say I had to smarten up a bit.' She spun around for me. 'Well, how do I look?'

I looked up at the statue.

'Well Michael, what do you think?'

I paused before turning back to her.

'Michael thinks you look absolutely gorgeous.'

'And what about you?'

'You'll do. Come on we need to make sure everything is set up right and I'll introduce you to a few people.'

She loops her arm through mine and we turn towards the main entrance. I reach up to rub the statue's foot.

'Wish me luck,' I say to Michael as we head towards the steps.

'Good luck!'

I stop and turn around. There is no one behind me; everyone is going about their business.

'Now, what?' asks Lauren?

'Did you hear that? Someone said good luck.'

'Now I am getting worried. Talking to statues is one thing, but when they answer back that's something else. All I heard was the traffic. I'd better not tell them that one back at the lab. They'll think you've really lost it'

We walk up the steps and I hold the door for her as she slips her arm through mine I am conscious of the admiring glances. I know what they're thinking when they look at me. 'Dirty lucky bastard, how did he manage to pull her? He's either filthy rich, or he's got an enormous tool.'

Back in the day I would've had similar thoughts. They're wrong of course, we work together, we're friends, but we don't sleep together. At 32 she's a little over half my age. She's a great girl, one day she'll make someone very happy, but not me. She'll want kids, but I've been there, done that. Maybe it's selfish, but at 50 years of age, I have no wish to do it again. Oh Yes, I've got children, Two boys, Ross and Jamie. Don't blame me, my wife chose the names. I've got one of those as well, a wife that is, though none of us see much of each other now. It's been five years since we split; now the boys share their visiting time between us. Ross got married two years ago, that was the last time I saw her. We didn't get chance to talk.

What's this, a reception committee? There are three of them standing between us and the lecture theatre. I recognise the one in the middle, it's Thomas Horne, president of the institute. As he offers me his hand I am aware of the cameras flashing. That's something else I've had to get used to over the last year. They're not paparazzi: these blokes normally come from in-house magazines. They're not intrusive but sometimes you just wish they weren't there.

'Mr Fletcher welcome to the institute.'

I don't like to disillusion him but I've been a member for twenty-five years and I've been here several times before. No reception committee in those days. It's wonderful how much difference an appearance on TV makes. He introduces his two sidekicks, then tells them about me.

'Mr Fletcher is the man who made the bionic arm shown on Technospot last week'

'No Mr Horne, Mumford Labs made the arm. I can assure you it was a team effort.'

'Yes, of course, but you are the leader of that team.'

'Yes I am, but each of us plays our own part. Dr Stockbridge here is our mechanical wizard. She is equally deserving of any credit.'

Their faces take on a shocked expression as Lauren offers her hand, then after more handshaking and exchanging pleasantries we pass into the lecture theatre.

'You did that on purpose; you love to embarrass the old guard don't you.'

'They deserved it. They should know better, attitudes like theirs stop girls coming into engineering.'

'Well since we are such a good team, perhaps you can get us both a cup of coffee while I check out the facilities.'

I've got to admit working with Lauren has its advantages. Watching her climb up onto the stage revealed one of them. Her skirt hitched up revealing more leg and as she bent forward it pulled tight across her bum. I sigh; some lucky chap will get his hands on that gorgeous bum.

I go off in search of coffee. A look back at Lauren reminds me of what's missing in my life. I miss the company at home; if Lauren thinks talking to statues is bad what would she make of talking to toasters and kettles.

I miss the feel of a woman in my bed at night, reaching out in the morning to touch soft silky skin, and I miss the good morning kisses. Oh yes, the sex is nice, but I can get that. My God the last time I was in Boston, Siobhan nearly killed me. What that girl didn't know about sex wasn't worth knowing. People told me Americans were wild about English accents, but that girl even wanted me to talk while I was eating her. The problem was that we couldn't be together without wild animal passion and that's not what I miss... I return to the lecture theatre with two coffees.

Delegates are arriving as I make my way back, then I'm sitting in the front row watching Lauren getting everything ready.

What it must be like to wake up next to her in the morning? I imagine she would be softer, more tender than Siobhan.

Doubtless some lucky sod will find out soon enough. Of course, it's my own fault I feel like this. I have a wife. She sends me birthday cards every year invites me to spend Christmas with her and the family; for some strange reason, she even marks our wedding anniversary. She'd take me back anytime I wanted, the boys have said as much, but I can't make myself put it to the test.

She had an affair you see, with the man who controlled a lot of her funding. While I'd been busting a gut ensuring she had the support she needed to fulfil her potential she was giving what free time she had to another man. I never really gave her chance to explain. What explanation could there be? I didn't tell her that finding out contributed to my accident. I didn't even tell her I was paralysed from the waist down; she had to find that out from my boss. I didn't want her pity; didn't want her coming to me to ease her guilt.

I went off to University, in my wheel chair, and started a Ph.D. When Mumford came along, I put the Ph.D. on the back burner. The doctors and consultants all told me that the use of my legs should come back. However, I'm an engineer, and we work with worst case scenarios. It came as a big surprise when the feeling started to return and the muscles started to do things without being told. Fifteen months after the accident I was starting to walk again. A year of physiotherapy later and no one would believe I had a problem.

'Where's my Skinny Latte?' she asks as she plonks herself down in the seat next to mine. I reach over to the seat on the other side and pick up her cup and passed it to her.

'Just white coffee, I'm afraid'.

She turns her nose up at it.

'Think yourself lucky to have filter coffee when I started coming here the only coffee was instant.'

She takes her coffee and sips at it. The second sip tells me it's acceptable.

'When are we on, boss?'

'Last spot before lunch. Prime position.'

'So we've got a bit of a wait then.'

'About an hour and a half. We have some interesting papers being presented first, just sit back and enjoy them.'

* * *

#  At the Institute

It's our turn now. Lauren and I take the stage. My paper is devoted to the control system we developed. However, I know from experience, we will get questions on every aspect of our limb development. I introduce the paper and Lauren runs the video. Some people in the audience understand how difficult these things are. When we show our subject holding a wine glass in his bionic hand and tipping it up to sip, I hear a few audible gasps. I describe the multi-layered system of control and take them through the way different problems are handled and then it's over and we are fielding questions. I can see Lauren is really getting into it as she fields questions on weight distribution and power transmission. Then comes question that surprised me.

'Why did you give up teaching?'

For a moment I'm stunned but then I come back.

'Because I was a terrible teacher. It takes a particular person to be good at teaching, I'm not that person.'

The first bit causes a titter from the audience but they soon calm down.

'You weren't that bad, you got me into university and now here.'

'I'm sorry, it's a bit dark in here sir. What's your name?'

'Daniel Reynolds'

'Ah, yes I remember you Daniel; perhaps we could have a chat at lunch time?'

The MC tells them this is the last question and her voice rings out over the PA system.

'Dr Fletcher. It is Dr Fletcher isn't it?'

Where did she get that from? I hadn't attended the ceremony and told hardly anyone.

'Yes, as a matter of fact, but it's of no consequence.'

Lauren's face took on a surprised expression.

Even through the theatre PA system I could recognise her voice.

'What makes you give up on a project?'

I know the significance of the question, even if the audience doesn't. For the first time, I was struggling for an answer. Lauren came to my aid and snatched up the microphone.

'He never gives up. Just files them away and waits for the situation to change.'

The questioner comes back for one last try.

'So what needs to happen for you to go back to a project you' previously abandoned?'

'As Dr Stockbridge said, we wait for something to change. We review projects both active and dormant at regular intervals. If something has changed that makes the project viable we reopen it. Sometimes a member of the team might show us we were wrong to shelve it in the first place,'

The MC announces that lunch is served, and the audience leaves. I turn to see Lauren giving me a curious look.

'Dr Fletcher? When were you going to tell me, I mean us?'

'I didn't want to make a fuss. People might think I was trying to compete.'

'Don't be daft; nobody at Mumford cares about things like that. I'm glad you finished it but I'm curious as to why.'

'I hate loose ends, and the people in America thought it would give the lectures a higher status. It really is no big deal.'

'It seemed to be important to someone. Who is that woman?'

She's my wife. For some reason, she wants me to know that she's been keeping tabs on me.

'Your wife; and you didn't know she was going to be here?'

'We're estranged, I think that's the word. What I don't understand is how she got in here. This event is supposed to be closed to members and their guests.'

'She's ambushed you hasn't she.'

I nod and feel her arm around my waist.

'We could turn the tables on her by going out to lunch.'

'No, the brief is that we spend lunch time networking.'

Lauren finishes collecting up her stuff, then takes my arm.

'Come on Dr Fletcher, let's get some lunch.'

'We step out into the main hall and then into the Dining room where we find a sumptuous buffet laid out. Lauren goes ahead of me adding things to her plate. I'm conscious of someone close behind me, so I'm not surprised when I hear the voice.

'You're wrong. You were a great teacher. If it hadn't been for you I might have been sailing into a war zone. Instead, I'm attending things like this at the company's expense.'

'Ah well you were a one off Daniel, and who is to say I was right?'

'But you were. "Get your degree first," you said. "Then you can go in as an officer." So I got my degree. I learned so much that I realised that I didn't want to join the navy anymore. I wanted to design things, build new systems. You knew that would happen.'

'You give me more credit than I deserve. I saw the way challenges affected you. I knew there was something powerful between those ears of yours. You just had to wake up and realise it.'

He smiles at me. 'The most powerful computer in the world.'

He'd remembered what I used to tell them at the start of every course. I tap Lauren on the shoulder and she turns to face us.

'Lauren I'd like you to meet Daniel Reynolds, one of my students from my teaching days. Dan this is Dr Stockbridge, my colleague from Mumford Labs.'

Lauren offers her hand and Daniel shakes it. He gives me a knowing smile.

'I was going to ask if you fancied a beer tonight but I guess you've got better things to do.'

'I'm sure we'd love to have a beer with you tonight wouldn't we Lauren?'

'Only if we can start in The Savoy, I want to be able to say I've eaten in The Savoy Hotel. I won't tell them it was only bar snacks.'

Daniel laughs and immediately agrees. As he leaves to get back to his lunch she stands before me looking every bit as good as I remember. She's put on a little weight but only on the two points where it looks best. I stand there just taking her in. Her hair is perfect, makeup just so. She is wearing a pale green skirt suit which shows off her legs. I've always admired her legs.

'You're looking well John.'

'You're not looking so bad yourself'

For a moment, we just stand there looking at each other.

'What are you doing here Caroline?'

'I came to see you. I thought perhaps if I asked in person, and gave you plenty of notice, you might be able to spend Christmas with us this year.'

Lauren is shaking my arm.

'Lauren this is Caroline she's...'

'His wife,' Caroline announced. 'I'm his wife'

To me, it sounds like a challenge. She stares at Lauren daring her to respond. She is not disappointed.

'Oh, so you're the one.'

'And what is that supposed to mean?'

'The mystery wife that everyone knows about but no one ever sees, and that includes John.'

I admit Lauren's reaction takes me by surprise. Normally she is my calming influence but now she seems ready for a fight.

'If you'll allow me ladies I'll finish the introductions.

'Caroline this is my friend and colleague Dr Lauren Stockbridge'

Lauren picks up on my tone of voice. She makes her excuses and leaves us. I look at Caroline and for a moment, all the old desires come flooding back. Even now after five years I still want to take her in my arms and hold her. Perhaps that is the reason I cut myself off from her for all this time. I fight the urge to hug her and try to be calm again.

'What is it you want from me, Caroline?'

'What I really want is you, but for now I'll settle for a chance to talk. We never really talked did we?'

People are starting to gather around. It happens a lot these days. Ever since the media got interested in the arm I rarely get to finish lunch, everyone wants to talk to me,

'Not here, not now Caroline how about tonight maybe we could have dinner or something.'

Her face lights up the way it used to when we were first married.

'That would be lovely, thank you'

'O.K. meet me in the bar of The Savoy Hotel about 6:30.'

She reaches out and strokes my arm.

'Thank you, John, I'll look forward to it.'

Her eyes say she really means it; she turns and walks away.

'Doctor Fletcher?' Says the man standing by my left shoulder. 'It's started, I'll be lucky to eat much of the food on my plate. Across the room, Lauren is talking to a young man I don't recognise. She notices me looking and rolls her eyes. Oh dear, there's another young man wasting his time.

I've finished my wine and eaten half the food on my plate when they call us back in for the afternoon presentations. I find my seat and Lauren slips into the seat beside me.

'She didn't stay long; I thought you had stuff to talk about.'

'We do, but this isn't the place. I'm sorry. I'd planned to take you out tonight, to say thank you, now I'll be taking Caroline instead.'

She puts her hand on top of mine. Her touch feels so good. Her hand is not as soft as most women. Hers, though still softer than a man's, are hands that have used tools. It's not the softness that matters; it's the tenderness it conveys, that makes me put my other hand on hers.

'I can't say I'm not disappointed. I had hoped we could make a night of it. I don't get to London much and you need to get out more.'

'When it comes down to it, she's your wife, and like it or not you must feel something for her or you'd be divorced by now.'

I turned and looked into her eyes.

'Such a wise head on such young shoulders.'

'If you knew the conflicts going on in my head you wouldn't say that. It's just easier to see the right thing to do when you're not involved.'

'Thanks.' I say patting her hand before turning my attention back to the stage.

She doesn't move her hand but just leaves me to think for a few moments.

'John, you do know I'm always here for you don't you? Anytime, anywhere, you only have to call.'

I pat her hand again.

'What would I do without you?'

'Exactly what you do now, just with someone else.'

We fall silent as the first-afternoon presentation starts. I feel guilty for not giving the presentations my full attention. I'll read the papers later. My mind is full of Caroline. Can Lauren be right? Do I still love her? Is that the reason I haven't divorced her? I always told myself that I couldn't be bothered, that I didn't have time. When I saw her today it all came back, I really wanted to take her in my arms. One thing is certain; I need to get my feelings sorted out.

The event is over for today. Lauren and I make our way back to our hotel. She goes up to her room while I have a word with the concierge. After a shower and changing into more casual clothes I am back down in the foyer talking to the concierge again.

* * *

#  One night in London

The lift doors open and Lauren steps out wearing a sparkly silver cocktail dress that stops just above the knee and shows a little cleavage. Her hair is no longer pulled back into a ponytail but bounces off her shoulders as she walks. Over her arm, she carries a dark green trench coat. It's no exaggeration to say that the sight of her takes my breath away.

'Wow! I mean just Wow. If you are trying to make me regret standing you up tonight, you are doing a fantastic job.'

She comes over and grabs my arm.

'You didn't stand me up. It's not as if we had a date or anything. I just thought that we might go out somewhere, so I brought this dress.'

'Well, I'm sure you won't be out of place in the Savoy bar. Let me help you with your coat.'

I hold her coat open and help her put it on. She turns and takes my hands in hers.

'Be careful tonight John. She ambushed you today, caught you in a place where you wouldn't want her creating a scene. You don't do that unless you want something.'

She lets go of my hands and turns her attention to my shirt collar and my jacket.

'Just make sure you don't give her anything you don't want to.'

She buttons my jacket and surprises me by kissing my cheek

'What was that for?'

'Just to remind you I'm always here for you.'

She pats my chest then turns and loops her arm through mine. We set off across The Strand heading for The Savoy.

Caroline is already there, sipping an orange juice. She seems surprised when I turn up with Lauren. She takes in every detail of the younger woman's appearance. A look of disappointment spreads across her face.

'Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realise we were going out as a group.'

'Don't worry Caroline I think he has a plan, but he hasn't told me what it is.'

'All will clear once Daniel arrives.'

When he arrives, wearing jeans and a puffer jacket, he looks a little embarrassed.

'I was expecting to go down the pub, just the two of us. Now I feel a bit out of place.'

I order a beer for him and outline my plan.

'Dan, I'm hoping you'll do me a favour. Lauren has always wanted to see The Lion King and I had planned to take her. However, something else has come up and I've had to change my plans, so I wondered would you be kind enough escort her to the theatre'

'Well yeah, I suppose, but what about...'

Lauren giggles as Daniel starts to blush but soon regains his composure. He looks across to Lauren who is sitting on a bar stool with her legs crossed.

'I'm sorry, I mean I'd love to, I was just a bit surprised that's all.'

I caught her eye.

'Are you OK with this?' I whisper to her.

She nods back and whispers. 'He's quite sweet'

I hope that Daniel hadn't heard that, no man wants to be thought of as sweet.

I hand the company credit card to Lauren.

'Get yourselves something to eat. Your tickets are at the box office; just give them my name.'

As they leave Caroline nudges me. 'You have her well trained, her disappointment hardly showed.'

'I don't know what you mean. She wanted to see The Lion King, now she gets to go with someone her own age.'

Caroline shook her head. 'So what are we going to do?'

'We will finish our drinks then we are off to St Martin's Theatre to see The Mousetrap.'

'OK, that sounds nice.'

'I take it you'd rather see The Lion King?'

'Well Yes, but The Mousetrap is fine.'

'Good because that's what was available at short notice. The concierge gave me a list; I chose The Mousetrap.'

'It's all right John. I'm sure The Mousetrap will be fine.'

'Good, now before we go I have a question that's been bugging me all day. How did you get into the seminar; it's supposed to be members only.'

'I came as Daniels guest.'

'You and Daniel? Surely you're not?'

'Good god, no! He came to the house looking for you. We got chatting; he said you would be presenting a paper, so I asked him to get me in. Oh, John, I'm so glad I came. I saw you up on the stage with everyone hanging on your every word, I was so proud. I wanted to jump up and tell everyone "That's my husband." Then it hit me; I don't really have the right to say that anymore. I went from elation to misery in an instant'

'Well, I am still your husband unless you've divorced me without me knowing. You could you know; I've been gone long enough.'

'You know me better than that. I don't believe in divorce. Even if you divorce me I will still be your wife. We committed for life and that means life for me.'

We committed to exclude all others. You didn't have much trouble breaking that one.'

She winces.

'I lost my way for a while. I started to believe that I was as fantastic as everyone kept telling me. I put so much into making a success of everything that I felt entitled to enjoy myself.'

'And you didn't think you could enjoy yourself with me?'

'It wasn't like that John. I know it's difficult to understand but spending all my time working meant that I felt guilty enjoying myself with you. It was like I shouldn't be there I should be working, trying to pull the project together. All those people depended on me.'

'Didn't stop you enjoying yourself with Dewey though.'

'No, it didn't, that's where he was clever; he made it sound like I was working for the project. It started with having dinners where there would be people who funded projects like ours, so it was like being there to secure funding. Of course, after a couple of weeks, the potential funders stopped turning up, but we did get some grants. When that started to happen he made it sound like it was all down to him. I felt as if I owed him something. It was all very subtle, but I did feel pressured. When he asked me to go to London with him, I felt I owed him.'

'So you owed him your body. You know what that makes you don't you?'

'Oh don't John please. I've been through this so many times and you couldn't make me feel any worse than I already do. The sex didn't come into it for me; it was the price I paid for having a little fun, fun I should have been having with you.'

'If it all started out so innocently, why didn't you tell your husband about these cosy little dinners with prospective funders? Come to that, you could have even invited him.

Tears are welling up in her eyes. She's had five years to rehearse all of this and she still can't do it without crying. She takes a deep breath and tries to control herself.

'I don't know I've been over it time after time and I still can't come up with an answer to that; I wish I could. It was like work and home were two different worlds, and you didn't exist in the work world'

'I didn't exist' I thought. 'I existed when she needed to recruit committee members to replace the ones that dropped the project in the shit. I existed when she needed to know how to lean on someone. Of course, her leaning was much more subtle than mine but it was my ideas she was using. I existed all right.'

As she pulls out a tissue and dabs at her eyes, I glance at my watch.

'Get your coat, it's curtain up at 7:30; we need to get a move on.'

She picks up her coat and I help her put it on. On the way out of The Savoy, the concierge offers to call a taxi for us but I decline. On a dry night like this, the best way from The Savoy to the other side of Covent Garden is to walk. We set off back across The Strand. She takes my hand as we cross the road and is reluctant to let go. Realising she won't keep up my normal pace in her high heels I restrict myself to a leisurely stroll.

'I was worried that you'd never be able to do this: walking like this I mean.'

'You and me both. I should've believed the doctors.'

'Why did you hide that from me? I was devastated when I found out you were in a wheelchair. It really hurt to know you would rather depend on strangers than me.'

'I didn't want you fussing around me out of guilt or pity. If you'd known it would have taken a police presence to keep you away from me.'

'It wouldn't have been guilt or pity. Well perhaps partly out of guilt, but mainly out of love. Is it so hard to believe that I love you?'

'At the time Caroline; yes it was. You destroyed me that night. When the paramedic told me what they were going to do to get me out of that car, I told him not to bother.'

She gasps and stops walking, turning me round to look at her. She looks deep into my eyes.

'Oh my god, you really mean it don't you. You really wanted to die.'

'At the time, it seemed to solve all the problems. I wouldn't have had to deal with the situation and you'd be free to be with Dewey.

'I've told you before; it was never him I wanted. Do you think I would be here now if I wanted someone else?'

She throws her arms around and holds me tight, her head on my chest. The noise of the traffic shuts out what she was saying. I think she may be crying. She releases me and steps back. I can see the black lines where her mascara has run down her cheeks. She reaches into her bag for a tissue and dabs at her eyes. I take it from her and wipe the black marks from her cheeks.

'I think we'd better stop talking about this for now. Maybe after the theatre, eh?'

I smile at her and she tries to smile back. We walk on, into and across Covent Garden. She points out a large grandiose building lit up against the night sky.

'What is that place.'

'The Royal Opera House, 'I say. What I'm thinking is, 'I'm surprised Dewey didn't take you there.'

'It's very impressive.'

'If you think the outside is impressive you should see the inside. I attended a function there a few months back. Mumford thought they should be represented and it fell to me.'

She cuddles up to my arm as if I've impressed her somehow. We walk on to the theatre and I collect my tickets with ten minutes to spare before curtain up.

'I must find the ladies room, I need to do some running repairs.'

She leaves me in the foyer and I kill time looking around waiting for her return. She always liked souvenirs of trips to the theatre, so I buy her a programme. When she comes back it's two minutes to curtain up. She sees the programme and her face lights up. She kisses me on the cheek and we hurry into the theatre. People grumble about having to get up for us to get by. As we reach our seats the house lights go down. We sit and I put my hand up on the arm rest. She covers my hand with hers and gives it a squeeze. As the stage lights come up I look at her. It's like I've gone back ten years; before Dewey and before her job took her away from me. We are a happy married couple enjoying a night at the theatre. I get that warm feeling in my chest just looking at her, and I realise; it doesn't hurt anymore. I remember her putting her job before us, her affair with Dewey, even the night when I finally knew what was going on. Yes, I remember it all, but it no longer hurts more than the pole that went through my guts. I can talk about it without wanting to throw up or burst into tears. What I feel when I look at her now is affection.

She catches me looking at her and manages a small smile before I turn my attention to the play

* * *

By the time the house lights go up for the interval we are both engrossed. I offer to fight my way to the bar for her.

'No thank you, John, I'd rather sit and talk; if that's alright with you?'

'Fine; what do you want to talk about?'

'Let's start by talking about you. How've you been?'

'Oh you know, down and up. I was down when I thought I'd never get out of the wheelchair, but the university was good to me. Because of my industrial and teaching experience they gave me work supervising labs and classes. Then there was my research; that's how I came into contact with Mumford. They told me I could work for them and work on the Ph.D. part time. I'd only been with them for six months when the feeling in my legs returned.'

'They must think a lot of you if you can do all of this on expenses.'

'Daniel and Lauren's meal and our hotel rooms are on expenses, I'm paying for everything else. I'm not on a lecturer's salary now.'

'Is there really that much money in prosthetics?'

'The arm and the walking exoskeleton are mainly for headline grabbing. It gets Mumford noticed, and the research is all funded by the type of people who invite you to the Royal Opera House. They'll make money on them but their main business is in control systems. I've got a great contract it allows me to go on lecture tours and pocket most of the fees. The arm has provoked more demand there as well. I spent six weeks in America this year.'

'What about your personal life? Are you happy; is there someone in your life who makes you happy?'

I might have known that one was coming. What do I tell her that I'm as happy as a pig in shit? Do I tell her the truth; that I spend all my time working to avoid spending time in my empty house? I decide on a compromise.

'Yes, I suppose I'm happy though I don't have time for a personal life. No, there is nobody special in my life at the moment. A few women passed through but none I've wanted to start a relationship with.'

'Not even Dr Stockbridge?'

'Good god no; whatever gave you that idea?'

'You seemed so close, and although she hides it well she was disappointed when you told her of the arrangements tonight.'

'We are friends and colleagues. I'm old enough to be her father, she'll be much happier with Daniel tonight.'

I'd better change the subject or I'll end up telling her I get more sex now than I did five years ago.

'What about you Caroline? Government inspector now I am told. How do you enjoy that?'

'I don't. I'm being asked to check that kindergartens and nursery classes are doing things I don't believe to be right. Then in the reports, I'm supposed to defend the inspectorates viewpoint. How do you defend the indefensible?'

'So why take the job?'

'Well you were right, the committee just gave me a rap on the knuckles but things were never the same. There was no publicity when Roger was fired but word got around. People who used to be friends stopped calling, then I heard a rumour that I'd abandoned you because you were crippled. I just wanted to get away, work with people who didn't know me. The inspector's job was offered, and I took it. Now I know how you felt doing a job you hated.'

'I hope you're not blaming me for spreading the rumours? I didn't tell a soul.'

She takes my hand in both of hers and kisses the back of my fingers.

'The thought never crossed my mind. It's not your style, lurking in the shadows whispering in receptive ears. If you wanted to say something you would make damned sure I knew it was you. Oh no, it was probably a secretary in the Town Hall. That's how these things usually start. Anyway, that's all over now.'

'So what are you going to do now?'

'That's part of what I wanted to talk to you about, I've been offered a new job, deputy head of children's services.'

'You don't need my approval, Caroline. Take the job it will give you chance to really make a difference, and there are few things worse than doing a job you hate.'

'Well I do, sort of need your approval, you see the job is in Cambridge; we'd almost be neighbours. I won't take it if you find it embarrassing.'

'Take the job Caroline, apart from work I don't spend much time in Cambridge.'

Her voice drops to little more than a whisper as if she's frightened to voice what she has to say.

'I rather hoped that, if I took the job, you might spend more time in Cambridge.'

Yes, I see it for the plea that it is. I'd expected it to come much earlier and be far more blunt. She was waiting for a response, one that at this stage of the game I don't want to give her. Right now I don't know how I feel. I want her; I know that every time I look at her. I want to wake up next to someone. I want someone to be with in the evenings and weekends. I want someone to talk to over the breakfast table. I want to tell her I'd like that very much, but I don't. Instead, I pretend not to hear her. The bell from the bar tells us that the performance will restart in five minutes. People are coming back to their seats and the conversation ends and we settle in for the second half of the play.

* * *

After the ovation, the cast appear and ask us all not to reveal who dunnit then we leave.

'There is a really good pizzeria up the road; we could go for a bite to eat.'

'I'd like that.'

It's only a five-minute walk to the pizzeria, and we are soon seated and placing our order. Caroline is fascinated by the chef spinning the pizza pastry above his head.

'You certainly seem to know your way around the West End; I'm impressed.'

'I've been here quite a lot over the last three years and I've never had a problem remembering the geography.'

Our wine arrives and I'm offered a taste. The waiter pours a glass for each of us. Caroline picks up her glass and offers a toast.

'To better times.'

'I'll drink to that,' I say and we touch glasses.

'So Caroline, you've asked me about my private life, how is yours? Anyone special in your life?

'There used to be, but I drove him away five years ago. Since that day I've been waiting for him to come back. I've had periods of doubt and despair. Times when I thought it was never going to happen. During those times, I have allowed myself to be entertained by members of the opposite sex. There was never anyone special; certainly no one I would consider taking to my bed.'

Our food arrives, and it surprises her. You can get pizza all over the world and for many people pizza is pizza but there is a big gap between the best and the average. This is one of the best and she is impressed. As we eat we talk. I know it's going to hurt her but I need to tell her about the women in my life.

'I can't make the same claim as you, I've not lived like a monk these last five years. It surprised me how many women were happy to be in bed with me.'

I hold my left hand up showing my wedding ring still on my finger.

'For some women, this doesn't mean a lot'

It was thoughtless really I hadn't meant it as a jab at her but I can see that it hurts just the same. We finish our meal and they bring the coffee, a good Italian blend. This normally means the end of the evening and I start my end of the date speech.

'Well, Caroline it has been a surprisingly pleasant evening but...'

She reaches out and covers my hand with hers.

'Come back to my hotel with me. I want you to show you something.'

I couldn't resist a little snigger before replying.

'Do you really think that is a good idea? Haven't I seen all you have to offer?

'I'm being serious, I brought something with me and I'd really like you to see it. Please, John, come back with me. You don't have to stay, I just want to show it to you.'

We hail a cab and ride back to her hotel. A hotel Ibis, a little Spartan but perfectly comfortable.

* * *

#  Full Court Press

In her hotel room, I sit on the bed while she rummages around in her suitcase. She passes me a book and comes to sit beside me. Her skirt rides up showing off her legs. I smile as I note she is wearing stockings. I open the book and find a surprise on the first page. It's a picture of me in my wheelchair, being pushed across the university campus by an attractive young woman.

'That's the university campus. Who took this?'

'I did. When Bob told me they'd let you go because it was too expensive to make your lab wheelchair friendly. I was shocked. As soon as I got your address, I drove up to talk to you. I was going to beg you to let me back into your life. I hoped that once you found you needed someone you might let me back in. When I got there I found you already had all the support you needed. Was she one of your little peccadilloes?'

'No! I was still too angry for anything like that. I'm ashamed to say I was pretty unpleasant to most of the girls at that point.'

'She looks happy.'

I look at the picture again.

'Ah yes, that's Amy; one of the most persistent ones. She wanted to repair the damage some woman had done to me. I treated her badly; took all the help she offered but gave her nothing in return. What puzzles me now is, if you travelled all the way up to visit me, why did you leave without doing so?'

'Look at her, she's young and beautiful. How could I compete with her? Look at the pair of you. You are both so happy. My nerves failed me, and I could see you didn't need me. I cried most of the way home.'

I turned the page and there were two pages of a paper I'd written for the IET. It ended up being part of my thesis but was published separately. There was a photo of me in the chair wearing a board and gown.

'Where is that?'

'In the cathedral: you were there for a graduation ceremony.'

She's right; the administrators had pressured me into attending. They thought it showed them in a good light, having disabled members of staff.

'You were there?'

'No, I bought a DVD of the ceremony and Ross pulled that picture from it.'

Following that, I found pictures from Mumford's website. As I flick through her album I see it holds details of everything I'd achieved in the last five years. The final page showed a picture of me with Jo Brinsley, the presenter of Technospot.

'Is she as pretty in real life, you know without all the make-up?'

'I would say prettier, she has a nice natural beauty, and she's good company.'

'You went out with her?'

'Yes, we had dinner together after the recording. I found her very friendly and good fun. Not my type, though.'

She jabbed her elbow into my arm.

'Yeah, you wish. I happen to know that she's happily married to Euan Griffiths. I don't think you stand much chance against an international rugby player.'

'As I said before, for some women a wedding ring doesn't mean a lot.'

'Oh my god, you didn't?'

'No I didn't; I can't do that to someone else just because someone did it to me. I don't care if she does claim to have an open marriage.'

Her eyes tell me she's been hurt by what I said. I feel guilty; I'd not thought about it before I said it. With my arm around her shoulders, I hugged her.

'What made you do all this?' I asked, looking down at the book.

'In a strange way, it made me feel closer to you. It was like I was sharing some of those things with you.'

'If you were so desperate to be with me, what took you so long? '

'I tried at the wedding two years ago but you ran away. As soon as the speeches were over you couldn't get away quick enough.'

'I had a plane to catch.'

'I know that's what you said but I'm sure you could have arranged things for you son's wedding.'

'I did but my flight got cancelled and the only thing available was Saturday evening.'

'So you weren't trying to avoid me.'

'No! I'll be honest I wasn't looking forward to seeing you, but I wasn't trying to hide. I had an information exchange meeting at 9:00 am with our partner in Boston'

She gets off the bed and kisses my cheek while I sit looking at the book.

'I've got to go to the bathroom.'

She disappears into the en-suite bathroom. I'm completely taken aback by the amount of stuff she has in her album. How did she get all this stuff? Has she been stalking me? I call out a question to her but she doesn't answer. I realise that she probably can't hear me.

The bathroom door opens and I turn around. Her appearance takes me completely by surprise. With one hand on the door frame and the other on her hip she stands there, framed in the doorway. She's wearing a red teddy that is so sheer the dark circles of her areola and her prominent nipples are clearly visible. The dark triangle shows her neatly trimmed pubic hair. Little John immediately jumps to attention.

'Well, how do I look?'

'Breathtaking.'

She started to walk towards me swinging her hips as she moved.

'Not in the same league as Dr Stockbridge.'

'I wouldn't know; I've never seen her in anything less than you saw tonight.'

Caroline stands in front of me as I sit on the bed. She's still a good looking woman. It is all I can do to stop myself grabbing her and kissing her. She drops down to her knees and takes my hands in hers.

'In case you hadn't realised this is an invitation. I'm completely yours if you want me. I know what I want, but what about you?'

She pulls my hands and holds them against her chest.

'It can be just for now, just for tonight, or for the rest of our lives. Everything you see here is yours to do what you will. I love you John and I want you to love me again. I let you down, and I let myself down, but I've paid. Every day of the last five years I've paid. Missing you in my bed, knowing that you'd shut me out of your life. At times it was only the boys, our two sons, that gave me the will to carry on. I've seen everything you've achieved, and it hurts not being able to share it with you. Please, even if it's only for tonight, be my husband again. Make love to me John.'

She stands and placing one knee on the bed she eases my jacket off of my shoulders, her breast stroking my cheek as she does so. Taking my head in her hands, she tips it up and gently kisses my lips. She unbuttons my shirt and starts to run her hands over my chest.

'Mmm this is new, I don't remember it being this firm before'

'You can't beat a wheelchair for giving you upper body strength.'

'But that ended three years ago. Have you been working out?'

'It helps to pass the time.'

She eases the shirt off of my shoulders and pulls it down. Standing in front of me she takes my hands in hers. I look at her shapely body. There is a dark patch forming between her legs. She pulls on my hands and I stand up. Releasing my belt and unclipping the waistband she allows my trousers to fall to the floor. She pulls herself in close to me. I can't remember the last time I felt this level of desire. Her hands are on my chest now and she is moving them down to the waistband of my boxers. With her thumbs in the waistband, she runs her hands down over my hips. She bends her knees and drops to the floor. One at a time she lifts my feet out of my shoes and out of the clothes on the floor. She runs her hands back up my legs coming to rest on the cheeks of my arse. As she looks up at me, my erect penis strokes her cheek leaving a wet mark. Pulling her head back she looks at it,

'I've missed you almost as much as I've missed him,' she says nodding in the direction of my head.

This is a hell of a change from the times I remember. In those days, she refused to look at my cock let alone touch it. If I didn't initiate sex it didn't happen. I take her arms, lift her from the floor, and gaze into her eyes.

'What's this all about Caroline? You said you'd like to make love, but this is a full-scale seduction. What's going on?'

She kissed me.

'I wanted you to know how much I want and miss you, John. I've been aching for you ever since I saw you get up on that stage this morning.

She pushes me back so that I sit back on the bed while she holds my head between her breasts. I see her slip the straps of her teddy off of her shoulders. It drops down revealing her magnificent orbs with prominent nipples. She kneels astride me on the bed and I take one of her nipples into my mouth while I gently massage the other breast. Her head goes back, and she starts to moan. She's pulling my head harder onto her breast as I use my other hand to stroke down over her hips. She starts to thrust them forward as I stroke them. I bite gently on her nipple as I rub the other with my thumb. The hand stroking her hip is pulled away and pushed hard against her pussy. As she thrusts more against my hand I can hear her roar and I realise she is already having an orgasm. With the final throws, she falls forward knocking me flat on the bed as she holds me in a tight embrace.

I stroke her back, pushing the teddy further down. Now I'm stroking her bum and she's writhing on top of me. She climbs off and sits beside me as she removes the teddy. I slide further onto the bed. She kisses me then climbs back on top of me feeding my cock into her love canal. I return to working on her back. I remember what that does to her and tonight is no different. She writhes and thrusts on top of me. She gets more active as I squeeze her ass cheeks and my finger probes her anus. She'd never let me do that before but in the last five years, I've found out that plenty of women love it. I expect her to push my hand away but the push doesn't come. Instead, the grunts and groans increase and the movements get more forceful. I know that she has reached her climax when she forces her hips down onto me and hold them there while emitting a loud cry. I feel her relax so I start to push up into her until I find my release.

We lay on the bed. She is still on top of me, lying on my chest. This is what I have missed. Having her so close; joined to me. It feels so right. In our temporary exhaustion, there is still so much to enjoy. She is stroking my face, kissing my cheek.

'Oh, my love, my love, my only love. Thank you so much,' she whispers

I gently stroke her back, bringing her down from her orgasm. She becomes so relaxed that I check that she hasn't fallen asleep. She climbs off of me and for the first time I realise that we never even pulled back the covers. There is now a wet patch on the counterpane.

'I'm going to have a shower; care to join me?'

I get off of the bed and as I follow her into the bathroom, I pull the counterpane from the bed.

She opens the door and pulls me into the shower locking her lips on mine. We take it in turn washing each other. She rains kisses down on me as we clean each other's bodies. We start the drying and I'm entranced by the way her breasts move as I towel them dry. I can't resist kissing her nipples. We walk from the bathroom hand in hand and I lead her back to the bed before picking up my clothes. In a flash, she's there beside me taking the clothes from my hands.

'Don't go, John, stay with me tonight, please. If you still feel anything for me, stay with me tonight.'

I take her in my arms and hug her to me. She moulds her body to mine and we stand there holding each other before climbing into bed. I lay on my back and she snuggles under my arm and lays her head on my chest. She runs her finger over my chest and down over my stomach.

'I've waited for this for so long; it's hard to believe that you are really here. Pinch me John. I need to know I'm not dreaming'

I reach across and pinch her nipple.

'Oh! That's not really what I meant; I don't need any more encouragement. The fact is I've never felt as horny as I've felt this last year. I've had to buy myself a mini John but he doesn't come close to the real thing.'

She reaches across me and pulls herself in tighter to me. I know that this is what I've been missing. It's not the sex, which turned out to be less of a problem, even when I was in the wheelchair. It's this intimacy, this closeness, just for the sake of it. I feel so relaxed. She is kissing my chest and whispering something as I feel myself floating off to sleep.

I'm woken by an unusual sensation, one I've felt before but wasn't expecting this morning. Caroline's head is moving up and down on my morning glory. She's never done this for me before though I've often wanted it. She always thought it was dirty. I look to the side and I can see the rest of her body. Reaching out I caress her stomach, moving up towards her breasts. She moves closer, her legs part and I can see her vulva glistening with her juices. She swings her leg across me offering her lips to my tongue. I lick my way over her mound and into her crease as I run my hands over her lower back and bum. She starts to rise and fall as my tongue does its work and her head movements become more forceful. When I squeeze her cheeks rubbing my thumbs over her tight little back door, her movements become more intense. Now she is pushing hard against my chin while her mouth weaves its magic on my cock. My hips thrust up pushing my cock deeper into her mouth. She puts her hand around its base to control the thrusting as I move my tongue down to seek out her clitoris. My thumb slips into her anus as my tongue finds her clit. Her hips pound down on me and she emits nasal squeaks as her mouth engulfs my cock completely. My release comes and I drain myself into her as she grinds her pussy against my open mouth.

We lie together for a few minutes before she rolls off of me, then kisses her way up my body, finally planting a passionate kiss on my lips.

'There'll be plenty more where that came from.'

Now I see it for what it is. She thinks sex is the way to get me back. 'Sex is the way I lost him, sex is the way to get him back.' Did she ever really know me? Has she listened to me at all tonight?

'Caroline, last night and this morning, were fantastic, but that's not the end of everything. We still have a long way to go'

'But it's a start isn't it?'

She throws an arm and a leg around me and pulls herself in tight to me.

'Maybe Caroline, that's all I can say. Take the job and move if you want; I can't promise you anything.'

She pulls herself even closer. I glance at the clock on the nightstand. It's eight thirty/

'Good God is that the time? I've got to go.'

'Can't you stay a little longer? I'll treat you to breakfast before you leave.'

'No time for breakfast. I must get back to my hotel, get packed and be back at Savoy Place by ten o' clock.'

She holds on to my arm.

Stay with me John. We have so much to talk about. I need you John, more than I ever did. Please stay, they'll find someone else, you don't need to be there.'

'Caroline, people are depending on me. You must remember what that's like. I've never let anyone down before and I'm not starting now.'

She tries to hold on to me as I get out of bed and hurriedly dress before giving her a light kiss goodbye.

'John, we need to talk, promise me you'll call.'

'OK I'll call you but I really must leave now.'

Down in the street I hail a cab and get back to my hotel.

* * *

#  The Day After

With five minutes to spare, I slot myself into my seat and heave a sigh of relief.

'You didn't make it for breakfast so I guess you had a good night,' said Lauren as I sat down.

'Well, I thought it went well but now I'm having second thoughts. What about you and Daniel, how did you get on?'

'Well,' she said giving me a coy look. Then she giggled 'He was sweet, and a perfect gentleman. If you must know you were the main subject of conversation. I think you're his role model. He accords you the status you give to Michael Faraday.'

'Well he'll never find a statue of me out the front of the building,' I laughed.

'He told me a lot about you as a teacher. He says you were a great teacher. Do you know he spent three years working on a problem you set before he left college?

'Did he find the solution?'

'He said he did, he was laughing about it. He said something about a chip being programmable.'

'Oh, so he did solve it.'

'He was angry with himself for not considering that possibility.'

'Daniel was one of the few. There was a group of them, all highly motivated, they all did well. I really don't want to talk about teaching. It was never my finest hour and I'm never going back.'

'No one expects you to go back, but you talk about it as if it was a period of failure. I thought you should know that your students didn't see it that way.

My silence conveys my desire to drop the subject and Lauren picks up on it immediately.

'Caroline seems nice; and quite attractive.'

'Really Lauren, I never thought you swung both ways. Sorry to disappoint you, but Caroline doesn't.'

She punches me in the arm.

'Men! Just because I say she's attractive; doesn't mean I want to go to bed with her. I can see why men would want her, that's all.'

'Yeah, well, unfortunately, one too many did, and she was too receptive.'

I've already said more than I intended. It's a relief when the keynote speaker for the day takes the mike and gets the proceedings underway. We watch another two presentations before I'm called to sit on the expert panel for the question and answer session. It's good to concentrate on their problems; it takes my mind off of the events of last night. We wind up and send the delegates away to enjoy the weekend. I step down from the stage to be greeted by Lauren.

'Well done boss, you sent them away with plenty to think about. Now I suppose it's time for us to go home.'

I just smiled at her.

'What? What's funny? What have you got planned.'

'Well I stood you up last night, so I arranged something to make up for it. We're going to Brown's for lunch.'

'You didn't stand me up. I had a nice time and Daniel was positively charming.'

'Yeah, but I wanted to say a personal thank you for coming down here to help me out. I let you down last night so I had the concierge book a table for lunch. Come on, no arguments.'

There isn't going to be an argument. If she wanted to brag about The Savoy, she would definitely want to have lunch at Brown's.

We are walking down The Strand when the questions start.

'So did you have a good night last night? How long is it since you last saw her?'

'I last saw her two years ago but we haven't spoken for five years.'

'Five years and you are still wearing your wedding ring? You know she wants you back don't you?'

'I ought to; enough people told me. My sons, my friends, they've all told me at some time or another. Now she's moving to Cambridge, the pressure will increase.'

'And that's what yesterday was all about? She came to tell you she's moving?'

'Partly yes. She wanted to know if I was all right with it.'

'She wanted a lot more than that; a girl knows these things. It was written all over her face last night.'

We turn the corner and I stop to point across the road to an ordinary looking building.

'Voila. Brown's Restaurant.'

'That is Brown's? The place where the hooray Henrys from the city spend their bonuses?'

'The very place.'

'Well, the outside is a big disappointment.'

'In that case, it's a good job we are not eating outside. Come on our reservation is for one o' clock and people will be waiting at the bar hoping we don't turn up.'

We cross the road and walk into the restaurant and in less than a minute we are shown to our table. Lauren looks at the menu and lets out a whistle. I look at her in surprise, but I know what provoked the response.

'I'd expected something more exotic, especially at these prices.'

'That's the lunch menu. The more exotic dishes, as you call them, are on the evening menu.'

'Are you sure about this John? I would be just as happy eating in the station restaurant.'

'Of course, I'm sure. Nothing is too good for my right-hand man.'

She smiles, cups her own breasts and lifts them a little.

'Ahem! Perhaps you didn't notice these.'

'You know what I mean. You're the glue that keeps the team together when I'm not around, the one I rely on to get things done. I want you to know how much I appreciate you. Oh, and yes I definitely noticed those.'

We are both laughing when the waiter comes to take our order. Lauren takes her time choosing and the waiter is getting impatient. I have no problem, I've been here before. The waiter leaves and Lauren pours her question into the pause that follows.

'So that was the mystery wife last night'

'Yes, Caroline and I are married, but there is no secret about that.'

'Are you kidding? Two years I've known you, and you haven't mentioned her once. The rumours at work say she's on an overseas placement. They say the reason you spend so much time in the states is because she is out there. I might have believed it myself if I hadn't met a young lady called Siobhan the last time I went out to Boston. She seemed to be intimately acquainted with you and she didn't wear a ring.'

'I could say it's nobody's business but mine.'

'You could, and if you do I will shut up and leave you alone. Ever since she turned up yesterday, you seem troubled. I think you need to talk to someone and I'm offering to be that person.'

She's right; I need to talk to someone. For five years I've refused to talk to anyone about it though several tried. Caroline told our sons her version of events; which, to be fair, wasn't that far from the truth. They told me how sorry she was, but I'd always refused to talk about it. At the time, it hurt too much. Maybe now is the right time.

'Are you sure you want to hear this? You might never look at me the same way again. There are people who think that I behaved like a spoiled child.'

'I'll worry about that later. I promise I won't judge you. If you want to talk about it I'm happy to listen.'

'OK, where do you want me to start?'

'The beginning is a good place.'

Where is the beginning I ask myself? I start by telling her all about taking the teaching job to avoid having to move the boys out of school. When I mention Caroline's new job and the way I supported her Lauren reached out and squeezed my hand.

'You must have loved her very much.'

'I did, I'm not sure if I still do'

I tell her about the fateful night when I saw Caroline and Dewey acting like lovers. Then I tell her of the accident that put me in a wheelchair for eighteen months.

'Do you blame her for the accident?'

'No I blame the idiot who pulled out without looking and I blame myself. I shouldn't have been driving in that state. I would have been on the brakes quicker if I'd been concentrating on my driving.'

Our food arrives, and the conversation tails off. Lauren is impressed by the food. It's not nouvelle cuisine just good food, and she loves it. We finish our main course and the waiter clears our plates away. While we wait for dessert she starts the questions again.

'So how long is it since you spoke to her?'

'It's a full five years since we talked. Not since I was in the hospital. That's what some of my friends said was childish. I didn't tell her about the paralysis, I just told her to stay away. If she'd known her guilt would have pushed her into that room and I might have started to depend on her. I could have stayed for all the wrong reasons.'

'So you hid it from her and wheeled off into the sunset.'

'Pretty much. I needed to get away and live for myself for a change. I'd tried the other thing, and it didn't work too well.'

'So what about now? You didn't seem that unhappy to see her yesterday and you never made it back for breakfast this morning.'

For the first time, I think I notice a look of sadness in her eyes as she talks about the previous night.

'You don't expect me to comment on that. A gentleman never does.'

She blushes having realised that she has pried a little too far. Our desserts arrived, and we ate them in relative silence. Lauren's embarrassment seems to keep her quiet. We are drinking our coffee when she reaches across the table and takes my hand.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I'm only interested because I care about you. Oh dear, I seem to be digging myself further into a hole.'

'Don't worry. I'm still trying to sort it out in my head. It was all right for her she had plenty of time to plan. She knew how it would go and what she was going to say. I had to do it all on the hoof.'

I call for the bill and settle up, and we leave the restaurant and head off toward the hotel.

'Have we got time to say goodbye to Michael.'

I laugh. 'He's got to you hasn't he? Quite right too; he was one hell of a man.'

'Well, the real reason is that I fancy a walk after that lunch. By the way, I solved the mystery of the talking statue. It was Daniel; he arrived as we were going in and heard what you said.'

We walk towards the impressive frontage of Charing Cross station, then down to The Embankment. Turning into Embankment Gardens she takes my hand as we walk past the cafe.

'If we'd eaten there, perhaps I wouldn't need to walk it off.'

'Are you telling me you didn't enjoy it?'

'Don't be silly, of course, I enjoyed it, but you didn't need to spend so much.'

We walk on enjoying the sunshine until we come up to the statue. She skips ahead of me and looks up at the statue of my hero.

'Well Michael, what do you say; did our boy do well?'

She pauses as if waiting for an answer.

'Yes, I thought so too.'

She turns back to me.

'Michael says you did very well. He's proud of you.'

I can't help laughing as she talks to the statue.

'Do you think he might help with your other problems?'

'I doubt it; women did as they were told in his day. Didn't they Michael?'

'Is that what you'd like; an obedient slave?'

'Certainly not! No one was prouder than me when Caroline showed the world what she could do. It would have been nice if she'd recognised what I gave up for her.'

'The smile disappeared from her face. She grabs my arm and buries her head in it.'

'Sorry boss, I got carried away. I didn't mean to pick at old wounds.'

'Don't worry I'm over it now.'

I looked up at the statue.

'You see what it's like now Michael, you should be glad you never had to deal with modern women.'

She punches me on the arm and grins at me.

'Well that's it Michael, maybe we'll meet again next year.'

Lauren is still smiling; it's a smile that gives me a warm glow inside. She really is the complete package, beauty, brains and a lot of charm. She makes me wish I was ten years younger.

'Come on,' I say. 'Let's get back to the hotel pick up our bags and get a cab to the station.'

* * *

#  The Journey Home

We catch the last train before the start of the weekend rush and find seats with a table between us. I'm feeling the effects of my lack of sleep and the fine lunch. Lauren gets out her iPad.

'First, I'm checking my emails then I'll look up Michael Faraday; I ought to know more about him.'

I smile at her.

'You'll find there's a hell of a lot to learn. He was a remarkable man.'

As I settle into my seat I try to stifle a yawn and find it difficult to keep my eyes open. Sleep is beckoning, and I am unable to resist.

* * *

I'm walking along the carpeted corridor of an upmarket block of flats. 'Young Daniel has done well for himself,' I say to myself as I ring the doorbell. I wait but no one comes so I ring again. I'm about to leave when I hear movement on the other side of the door. Daniel opens the door wearing a bathrobe; his hair is still wet.

'I was in the area and thought I'd call round; try to make up for that night we didn't get in London.'

'What? Oh yeah; look I'm fresh out of the shower. Why don't I get dressed and meet you in the pub across the road? About ten minutes, yeah?'

I'm about to walk away when I hear a familiar voice.

'I don't know if you're up to it lover, but I could go again right now.'

Over his shoulder, I see Caroline walk into the passage wearing nothing but a towel.

'Sorry,' he says and steps back to let me pass.

I walk into his flat feeling nothing but disdain for the woman in front of me. She's clinging to the towel like it's a life preserver while the other hand covers her mouth.

'You lying bitch. To think that I imagined we had a chance of getting back together.'

'I didn't lie to you. I didn't.'

'You told me you and Daniel weren't together.'

'We're not; this is just two people with needs, helping each other out.'

'And what about there being none you wanted to take to your bed? Another lie.'

'It wasn't a lie. I was just being a little economical with the truth. I never use my bed, our bed. Come on John you've not been living like a monk, you said as much.'

'Exactly; I was completely open with you, but it obviously didn't work both ways'

She looks in horror as I struggle to pull off my wedding ring.

'No John; please No... John... John'

Someone is shaking my shoulder. 'John... John'

I wake to find the seat opposite is empty. Lauren is sitting beside me pulling at my right arm. I look down and see I am gripping my wedding ring.

'You were dreaming; are you OK?'

The train has come to a standstill and for a moment, I stare out of the window collecting my thoughts.

'Yeah, I'm fine; I just got a few things sorted out.'

I twist my ring easing it over the knuckle.

'Are you sure you want to do that.'

'Yes, it's over there's no going back. I've realised what was bothering me. How do you go from being an inhibited woman to one that can mount a no-holds-barred seduction without practising?'

'Does it matter? From what Siobhan told me; you've hardly been celibate.'

'No it probably doesn't, but she led me to believe that a nun gets more sex than her. It's not the sex anymore; I'm over that; it's the deception. There may be other reasons for the changes; reasons that fit what she told me, but the fact that I'm asking these questions means I don't trust her. After five years I still question everything she tells me.'

For the first time in five years, tears fill my eyes as I finally accept that my marriage over. Lauren puts her arm around my shoulders and uses a tissue to wipe the tears from my eyes. The train moves off and for the first time, I notice the station name, Cambridge.

'Hey, that's your stop.'

'It doesn't matter. There are higher priorities here.'

The train picks up speed as I slip the ring off of my finger and drop it on the table. She picks up the ring and tries to put it in my pocket. I close my hand over hers.

'No, you keep it. Maybe you'll find some lucky man to give it to.'

She smiles and puts it back on the table.

'You're joking; when I get married we're having Tungsten rings.'

'Now there's a strange choice.'

'Not really. Tungsten is hard and incredibly strong. That's the kind of marriage I want, not something soft and weak like gold.'

'Then we'll just have to leave it for the cleaner.'

'You might change your mind.'

'No, I won't. When I see her all the memories of those twenty odd years come back, I'm lonely; I need someone in my life but not her. After five years I can't forget; I don't trust her. I can't spend the rest of my life checking up on her, wondering what she's up to while I'm away. This is a decision I should have made five years ago.'

She holds my hand while dabbing at my eyes with her other hand.

'You could give it back to Caroline,' she says as she picks up the ring from the table.

'I want to talk to her first. Putting it in the post seems cruel.'

'There's no hurry,' she says dropping the ring into her handbag. 'It'll be right here when you decide.'

It's not far from Cambridge to Ely and soon the train is slowing down for my stop. We both get up and retrieve our luggage. We step from the train and walk to the end of the platform. I stop at the barrier expecting her to walk on to the footbridge so she can get on the next train back to Cambridge.

'Thanks, Lauren, it's good to know I've got a friend. The train back to Cambridge should be here in ten minutes.'

'Oh no! I'm not leaving you here in this state. At the very least I'm making sure that you get home safely.'

We walk through the barrier and through the station to the taxi rank. In the cab, I give the driver my address. For the short journey to my little cottage, we sit hand in hand. On arrival, I give the cabbie enough for the return fare and tell him to wait. We get out of the cab and walk to my front door. I turn to look at her.

'Thanks, Lauren, I'm glad you were there.'

I bend to kiss her cheek but her hands come around my neck and I find myself kissing her lips. They feel so soft and compliant. Her lips part and her tongue strokes my lips. I pull back from her in time to see that taxi drive away.

'Damn, I told him to wait. I even paid him to take you back.'

'And I told him to go.'

'Lauren we can't do this. I'm your boss.'

'I resign.'

'You can't resign: what would I do without you.'

'You don't have to, but if the job is standing between you and me, then I resign as of now. I've held back before because I thought there was a loving wife somewhere. I all but accused Siobhan of wishful thinking, but now I know you're free, why wait?'

'Woman, what am I going to do with you?'

'I hope you are going to open that door and let me find out if everything Siobhan said about you is true.'

I put my key into the lock then take her in my arms to kiss her, and what a kiss, our lips part and we dance the tongue tango. As we break the kiss she continues to brush her lips against mine before parting completely. I turn the key and open the door.

'I hope you're not expecting me to carry you over the threshold.'

'Not yet but I'm working on that.'

I hold the door open and she walks through. As I turn to follow her I hear the surgeon's words from five years ago.

'You are a lucky man Mr Fletcher, a very lucky man.'

* * *

#  Epilogue. Two years later.

'Coming down the night before is much more civilised, we should do this all the time.' Lauren tells me as she pushes the last piece of toast into her mouth.

My imagination runs riot. I watch her put her fingertips into her mouth and suck off the traces of butter and marmalade she's picked up from the toast. Little John starts to swell making me fidget in my seat.

'Yes it is, but the company won't always pay for it, and it complicates the expenses claim if I pay for the extra night.'

'So what's different about this time?'

'This time, it's your show, you are the one who is showing off what Mumford can do. I'm just along for the ride. Since the media frenzy died down no one even notices me.'

'I know that's not true, but I wonder sometimes, do you miss it? All the attention that is.'

I reach across the table and take her hand in mine and gaze into her eyes.

'Not for one second. I enjoyed working on the arm and the walker, but the media attention was always something I tolerated.'

We get up and leave the dining room. Soon we are in the lift heading up to our room, we both have things to do before the seminar.

'So why are you so restless? You seem like a lost soul but what is it you are looking for. Are you thinking about her?'

I slip my arm around her waist, pull her in close and kiss her. Much to the amusement of other desidents we are still locked in a passionate embrace when the doors open for us to get out.

'For what it's worth Caroline barely crosses my mind these days. You're right I do miss something since we finished the arm project. It isn't the media attention, though. I miss being part of something. Since the arm went into production Mumford don't know what to do with me. They give me piddling little things and ask me to audit other people's projects.'

I take out the key and let us into our room.

'I need something I can get my teeth into.'

She smiles at me and brings her hands up over her breasts.

'Hmm, I think you've been doing enough of that lately. That's not a complaint you understand.'

She heads off to the bathroom, to "fix her face" she says, but I see nothing that needs fixing. I pick up the offers I brought with me and read them through once more.

'There is always the university, they seem keen to get you,' she calls back at me through the open door.

'Why are people so keen to get me back into teaching? I've said before I'm no good at it.'

I scan through the university offer and her head comes around the door.

'What teaching? One hour of lecturing per week and a bit of research supervision. You even get to choose your own research projects. Think of all those young post-grads eager to impress the professor.'

'Unfortunately, most of them will be men.'

Again she pokes her head around the door.

'What about the TV job? You keep saying you want more young people going into engineering. What better way to do it than present it on TV?'

Her head goes back into the bathroom and I peruse the offer from the TV Company. The money is obscene and it would only tie me up for two months of the year.

'Just keep away from Jo Brinsley; I've seen the way she looks at you. That woman is a man eater. Now how do I look?'

She is standing in the bathroom doorway, hands in front of her looking nervous.

'Absolutely ravishable.'

She s laughs.' You mean ravishing.'

'I know what I mean. Now come over here and let me make a start.'

'Down boy, we don't have time for that. Come on we need to get over to Savoy Place.'

She takes my hand and we head down to the street. Once we leave the roar of the traffic on The Strand she puts her arm around my waist and pulls me close to her.

'What's wrong; got stage fright?'

'Yes, I suppose that's what it is. It's all right for you, you've done plenty of presentations, but this is my first one.'

'For me, every one was like the first one. The presentations and the lectures. Something would be wrong If I wasn't nervous. Don't worry; you've got your cue cards, just do it the way we rehearsed. Once you get started you'll be fine. I'll be in the front row ready to prompt if you need it.'

She smiles at me and drops her head on my shoulder as we walk down the slope towards the river.

Michael Faraday stands out in the spring sunshine, looking out across The Embankment and the River Thames as he has for many years. He is unmoved as we walk into his little garden. Lauren reaches up to touch his foot.

'Good morning Michael, it's good to see you again. How does it feel to be the subject of John's first TV show'

'Hold on nothing's been decided yet.'

'Oh come on John, you've been mulling it over for a couple of days. It's only a matter of time before you realise that you could do both.'

'As a matter of fact, I've already decided to put it to the university. A bit of TV exposure would do them the world of good, but so far no one has mentioned Michael.'

'No, but you won't present a series on great British Engineers unless Michael's name is on the list.'

'Strictly speaking, he wasn't an engineer, but you're right he should and will be included.'

I looked up at the statue.

'You see what it's like with modern women Michael? You have to run just to keep up.'

I reach up and rub his shoe.

'Anyway, she is the one that needs your blessing today. I'm just along for the ride.'

I pause as if waiting for an answer.

'Michael says you don't need luck but he sends it to you anyway.'

She kisses my cheek and we turn and leave the garden.

We are approaching the main entrance of the IET when a young woman carrying a notebook comes down the steps towards us.

'Doctor Fletcher! It is Doctor Fletcher isn't it.'

I look at Lauren, then down at the Tungsten rings on our fingers.

'Yes, it certainly is. Which one would you like to talk to?'

#  Acknowledgements

I'm indebted to K Zapardo for reading my story and offering his much valued critique..

#  Other books by Kenneth George

##

## Worth Fighting For books2read.com/u/me28XY

An adventure romance novella set in Newcastle and the Highlands of Scotland

# Waterloo Sunset books2read.com/u/mBM15D

An adult Romance (sort of ) set in London and Seattle

# Hammer Blow books2read.com/u/bQBEeZ

A modern murder mystery novel introducing Dectective Mike Deverson

#  About the Author

Kenneth George was born in Ashford Common in Middlesex more years ago than he cares to remember.

He first started writing in the 1980s when he contributed to a, now defunct, computer magazine. When the magazine folded he decided to concentrate on earning a living. He didn't start writing again until he retired. Concentrating on fiction this time he contributed to several free story websites and has two stories "Cherry Picked" by ABCtales.com. In 2016 his story "Two Widows" won the Shaftesbury Story Slam completion.

He now lives with his wife in North Dorset, England.

#  Connect with Me Online

Twitter: http://twitter.com/DeYaKen

Facebook: http://facebook.com/KGSmithAuthor

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/DeYaKen

Website: http://smithkeng.wix.com/ken-smith

Register on the website to access free stories in the portfolio

