So we've got our friend Al on the show and
we're talking about what you don't like to
talk about.
Tattoos, right? you don't like talking about
it.
Well, I'm fine.
Okay.
I read somewhere that you don't like being
known for your tattoos.
Yeah.
I have this awful nickname called the tattooed
Mormon.
I can't get rid of it.
I feel like it's fading.
When I first heard of you, everyone called
you that but now-- no, so that's because they
know how much I hate it.
It depends, so people don't call me that anymore,
but if I go and speak, they'll have posters
that say, "Guess who's coming?
The tattooed Mormon!"
So that's where it from.
But yeah, I hate it... every single person
in the comment section...
I wrote a book about how much I hate it.
This is a literal thing.
And they didn't take the hint?
I literally wrote a book about how much I
don't like that title but... they call me
that and that's fine.
I'm not going to like yell at them.
But what is it, yeah like what is the... well,
I just think it's stupid but I also feel like
it's pretty level to "I Used to Smoke" Mormon
or "I used to do--" it's just a title to associate
with you with something that is irrelevant.
Something that is just-- right-- you know
what I mean?
So to me, it's completely irrelevant.
It has nothing to do with me and what I'm
doing and where I'm going.
Yeah.
The tattoo should not be before Mormon.
It should be Mormon and then...
You can call me like, the Awkward Mormon or
the Pretty Obsessed with Tacos Mormon or the
Peanut Butter Smelling Mormon.
Peanut butter breath.
You guys, I just ate a peanut butter bar and
I'm so self-conscious about it!
No it's okay, you can't smell anything.
No, because what are you trying to do?
What is, if, because you don't want people
to be like, "Oh, I'm a Mormon..."
So how it all came to be is I wanted to write
a blog post about how I was treated because
of how I looked.
Now, I didn't want the focus to be on my tattoos
so I was thinking very strategically, "How
can I write about how people were treating
me without like having it mostly be about
tattoos but so that they also understood why
I was being treated that way."
So I called the blog post "Tattooed Mormon"
so they knew what I was talking about but
so that it wouldn't be the focus of my actual
post.
I didn't know-- I thought that was really
genius at the time 6 years ago-- and I didn't
know that it would be this nickname that would
literally haunt me to this day but it is.
I have a nickname.
Dodger Game likes to call me 'Kwa-kee.'
Uh, Kwakee.
He watches the show, should we give him a
shout out?
Hey!
Anyway, there are a ton of people who watch
the show who have tattoos, right?
So... and there's this weird-- I've actually
had some people talk to me about this and
they're like, "Hey, I've got tattoos, can
I be a Mormon, will Mormons judge me?"
That kind of thing.
I'll give you one answer: Can you be a Mormon
and have tattoos?
Why yes you can.
Welcome, hi.
Wha!!
Just flip over the table.
Uh, yeah, you can do whatever you wanna do.
Ding!
Well, I mean...
Well technically you can do whatever you wanna
do, there will be consequences.
Should?
I envision this.
Okay, I feel like we can address 3 things,
right?
The way that I see Mormons and tattoos is
like 3 segmented.
How the Church feels about and what we teach
about tattoos?
What happens if you're not a member and you
have them, can you join?
And if you can, am I allowed to do everything
that, you know, whoever else can?
And then, well, I was raised in the Church
and then I fell away and then I got tattoos
and I feel terrible about coming back, what
do I do in that situation?
So this is how my mind goes, right?
So your first point was what the Church teaches
about tattoos?
And in a nutshell, it is discouraged.
Don't get them.
The end.
Don't do it.
Follow the prophet and the prophets say don't
do it, so period.
Which leads us to the second point, yeah.
If you do, wh-wha, how do you, it's not like
you can easily get an eraser and get rid of
them, what do you do?
So the cool thing about repentance is like
it takes care of everything.
So for me, I never felt terrible for having
tattoos because I was never taught that so
I didn't feel this obligation that I did something
wrong ever because I didn't know any better.
If you look at it on the flip side, what if
you were brought up hearing that tattoos were
just not something we should do and you got
them?
Well then what?
And this, my friend, is the amazing thing
about the atonement.
Right?
Yeah, well I think it's interesting because
if you, if you grew up LDS and the example
you gave, you became inactive, you got some
tattoos, you're like, "Oh, can I come back,
is it weird?
Well here's the thing.
I mean, the prophets have counseled us not
to get tattoos, right?
But that doesn't bar you from going into the
temple or anything like that, right?
It doesn't bar you from taking the sacrament.
It may have been a mistake but if all of our
mistakes were permanent, we would be tattooed
from head to toe, every single one of us,
right?
So, like I think, I think it's just such a
strange-- and it's also very cultural, right?
It is very cultural.
And I don't see it as a Mormon culture.
I definitely see it as a location culture.
I am not from Utah, I am from New York.
And I got baptized right before I turned 21
and I went into a singles ward and not once
was my tattoos or my appearance ever brought
up, never did it-- it was never even a thought.
Never at one point did I ever see anyone give
me a stare or make a look or no, nothing.
It wasn't even a thought until I moved to
Utah.
And I don't think it's a Utah thing.
Well, I definitely think it's a Utah thing
but I don't think it's only in Utah but I
definitely don't think it's church-wide.
So it wasn't until I moved to Utah after getting
baptized that I realized, "Oh my gosh, I look
different."
I have never felt uncomfortable with myself
or how I looked until I moved to Utah.
I was always confident, I always felt great
about myself until I realized everyone is
staring at me like I am the spawn of Satan.
I don't know why, but living here, people
never think, "Oh, that girl's not a member."
Or "Oh, that girl is a convert."
People look at me and assume, "That girl is
a member and she loves Satan."
And it's so weird!
It was the weirdest thing!
I would go and people would look at me and
they would shield their kids right from me.
Or they'd look at me, their eyes would pop
out and they'd start walking the opposite
direction and boys our age, they were looking
for temple-worthy girls and that is a perfect
goal to have but I don't exactly look temple-worthy.
Not only did no one want to date me, they
didn't even speak to me.
And I feel like I'm a very outgoing person
and despite my best efforts, no one spoke
to me, if they did, they were extremely rude,
and I had never felt more alone in my entire
life.
And then no boys liked me.
This is my life.
Oh my gosh.
Welcome to Mormonism.
No!
Wait, time out, let me clarify.
Judging is not a Mormon thing.
Judging is a human thing.
So.
I said it.
That's a good point to make.
All humans judge.
I think we take it more personally when we
feel judged because we feel like they should
be at a different standard and a higher standard
because we should all be in this together,
but the reality is judging is a human thing,
it exists everywhere, not just within religions
but also the world.
Yeah.
We just experience it more because we are
members.
But if you were to go to Muslims, it would
exist there.
If you were to go down the street to your
community doing I don't know, whatever, it
will exist there.
It's fine.
So how do you deal with it?
I mean, cuz obviously the church doesn't teach
to be jerks.
People are just jerks sometimes.
But how do you, how do you reconcile, "I'm
a member of the Church, I believe the Church
is true" with "How do I be in this Church
when I'm treated so poorly by these individuals?"
So it was interesting because when this happened
and I moved to Utah, I moved to Utah against
my will.
I just got baptized and Heavenly Father, he
told me and I felt really strongly that I
needed to leave.
And so I left my family.
Some of them, most of them didn't approve
of me getting baptized and I thought, "Maybe
I'll never see them again."
And so it was already hard coming here.
And then to be treated like that and to handle
something that was so completely foreign to
me, it rocked my world.
There would be some days, I didn't know why
I was in Utah, I didn't know anyone here,
I slept on the floor wrapped in a towel because
I forgot my blankets in New York.
And this is where my new faith had brought
me is on the floor wrapped in a towel with
people treating me like the modern day Korihor,
right?
And I lost it.
And things were so hard and so incredibly
confusing and lonely that most days, I didn't
even leave the house.
This is so new to me because I am someone
that is fine and I get over things and I just
couldn't and I felt paralyzed because I couldn't
even leave the house without having to deal
with it all the time.
Some days when I needed to go to the store,
I would wear these tan sleeves that sometimes
burn victims use because sometimes I just
couldn't handle the stares or the-- and it
got to a point where I was just tired.
I was tired, I was tired of feeling confused
and mad and I just wanted to be done with
it.
And so I realized something very important.
I realized that maybe they just haven't learned
this lesson yet.
And maybe I could be the one to teach them
but I'm definitely not going to teach them
any lessons by wearing these fake sleeves
in 100 degree weather and not leaving my house
and sulking and wondering what's wrong with
them and what's wrong with him and why is
this happening to me.
And so I realized that we find what we look
for.
So look for the good.
And as soon as I just had this change of mindset,
and this stubbornness to really just worry
about me and worry about God because ultimately
that's the only thing that matters, I just
did it.
I just lived life.
And I just did the things I wanted to do and
the things that I knew that I should be doing
and it wasn't until then that I had a new
perspective and mindset that my life flourished.
I don't know.
Well, so it sounds like you didn't wait for
the world to change to be happy.
Here-- you guys, the world's never changing,
I'm sorry, it's just-- it might even get worse.
So it's not up to them and it's not their
fault but it's everything to do with us and
our mindset and what we're willing to just
do.
And I put this on Twitter a long time ago
but I think it's very important.
We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ and
we are Latter-day Saints.
We don't belong to the Church of Dallin of
American Fork Utah, right, so-- as much as
he likes to think so-- yeah, he's wrong, okay?
Taken down.
Dallin's just sitting there.
Or Brekinzlee from Eagle Idaho, like wherever,
it doesn't matter, this is not their church
and so we have these like, every culture has
these like judge-y aspects that are bad, right?
And so whenever people feel, they're like,
"Oh, the Latter-day Saints, these are the
body of Christ and they're being terrible
to me, is this true?
It just goes down this rabbit hole.
And so, what you've done, I think what you've
done is you have impacted a lot of people
and made them not be so tool-y, can I use
the word tool-y?
You can use whatever you want.
So, you can't be tool-y.
You can't be judging people.
It's a really good point though that we all
have sins, who cares whether we're not in
the process of overcoming it or that we don't
even want to overcome it or whether we got
over it years ago, it's like, we're all at
our own point.
And so it's ridiculous to hold people to a
standard that-- you set-- your personal standard.
Yeah.
I've had friends ask me-- they understand
the sacredness of God's creations and all
of that but what if they want to get like
a tattoo of a Jesus fish on their wrist?
Or the name 'Christ' on their upper arm?
Something that is very special to them and
symbolic of their devotion.
Have you encountered questions like that?
Yeah, I get any tattoo question you can think
of, I've been asked it a million times.
People who want to get tattoos and they struggle
because they know that they shouldn't but
they really want to and maybe it means something
so important to them and really what it comes
down to is, well one, you technically can
do whatever you want.
Like, no ones gonna stop you.
So if you feel like you're gonna do it, I
mean fine.
But what it comes down to is it's what the
prophet said.
And for me, I haven't gotten a tattoo since
I got baptized.
Did I always think that that desire to get
more would be there?
Yeah, I did think that and I just assumed
I wouldn't act on it because to me, following
the prophet was more important than anything
else.
And it was interesting because the more--
right after baptism-- the more I learned,
the more I participated and became active
and got involved, my desires completely changed.
And that is the cool thing about Christ is
that he does change us and he does change
our desires so it really is a personal thing,
if you want to get it, well, I'm sure you
could do whatever you want and that's fine
but if you are willing to have Christ change
you into something even better than what you
thought you could be yourself, like what a
journey it will be on.
Change is very real.
Change, I am not who I was 8 years ago and
I'm definitely not who I was even last week
and that is the beautiful thing about God
and about Christ is that we can become better
and become the person who he wants us to be
all along and that's someone like him.
I had received a priesthood blessing that
flat-out, very specifically said, "Heavenly
Father does not see your tattoos."
To him, they do not exist.
So if you do have them and you feel uncomfortable
with them, I will never get my tattoos removed,
I don't feel like I have to.
I don't notice them and I know for a fact
God does not notice them and he's the only
guy that I'm worried about is God.
So if you feel like you want to get them removed,
that's fine.
Should you and do you feel like you need to?
Absolutely not.
Because reality of the Atonement is your past
is not only forgiven but forgotten.
To him it literally doesn't exist whether
it is sin or it is appearance or whatever
we're trying to change from.
So don't feel like you have to get them removed.
Worry about you and worry about God and take
confidence in the reality of the Atonement
that we can become better and move past anything
that we can go through.
If you feel like this Church isn't for you
because of how you look, whether it's tattoos
or skin color or age or marital status or
sexual orientation, or whatever-- peanut butter
breath-- you could think of, peanut butter
breath.
You're wrong.
Everyone deserves a place here.
This gospel is for literally everyone.
Including the people that look like me and
look like you and look like you and look like
you.
Jesus said, "Come follow me."
He didn't say, "Come follow me unless you
have insert whatever you want here."
He said, "Come follow me."
So that's what we do.
Follow him.
And nothing is worth giving up your forever
happiness.
So just forget all the people who are being
rude, that's their own issue and because like,
eternity is-- worth it.
Yeah, it is way more important.
So there.
So Al has a number of books you can read and
she has a YouTube channel so you can look
at the book picture right here and click right
here.
Or wherever they're inserted.
Click on things.
And be sure to subscribe to 3 Mormons because
they are all the time talking about really
amazing things that are important and that
maybe some other people aren't talking about
so do it.
And we're also on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
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I was like, what are you shooting for?
Hit the notification button so you can get
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If your phone really makes the ding sound,
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Okay cool.
Welp, see ya later!
