 
# HARSH LIGHT OF DAY

Harsh Light Vampires Series

Book One

By Jaye A. Jones

PUBLISHED BY:

Jaye A. Jones at Smashwords

HARSH LIGHT OF DAY

Copyright 2013 Jaye A. Jones

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

# CHAPTER 1

I wondered what privacy would be like. Were there really people out there who could be alone as much as they wanted whenever they wanted? I'd never experienced such a thing. I couldn't even imagine that kind of freedom.

He thought he was sneaky, but I always knew when he was there. And he was constantly there. I felt Declan's gaze track me around the room, his ice blue eyes prickling my skin with the familiar sensation my body had learned to recognize.

For years we played this game. I'd act like he wasn't neurotically watching my every move. He'd continue to stare like the obsessive lunatic he was.

Why didn't he ever get bored? Two decades of the Lena show. All Lena, all the time.

It wasn't like I went anywhere interesting. Nowhere to go. I didn't exactly have any fascinating hobbies. No hobbies to have. The things I liked to do weren't even allowed, and usually made Declan stop breathing while he loomed in the shadows everywhere I went.

I existed for making Declan nervous.

There was somewhere I was supposed to be. Declan too. But as long as I was rebelling, he would stay with me, keeping his icy eyes on me like a hawk.

May as well do what I wanted to do. May as well be as uninteresting as I could be. Maybe this would be the time I'd finally make Declan so bored, he'd leave me alone. Or fall asleep so I could do terrible, hilarious things to him.

I grabbed a book from my hiding place, and faked like I didn't hear his sharp inhale. He figured out what I had planned, but he stayed in stealth-mode.

I beamed with sadistic satisfaction. Such a powerful creature, and the most frightening thing in the world to him was seeing little old me reading a little old book.

Sure, it was dangerous. But today, I didn't care.

As I opened the door from our private chambers into the shadowy hallway, book firmly in hand, I could see his wide-eyed gawk as his stealth-mode slipped. Point to Lena.

Times like these, I wished I remembered how to smile.

**

The stone, torch-lit corridors of the Castle echoed with the voices of Declan's immortal family. It was before sunrise, and they were winding down from a night of feeding and the expected conversation, just as they had done countless, identical nights before.

Declan was painfully aware he and his young consort were the only members of the family not in the Main Hall with the others.

Lena sat on the floor and read by firelight, struggling with the dancing shadows in the private nook she had chosen moments after being summoned to the feast. The privacy it allowed meant she had to sacrifice good lighting. Acute, vampire eyesight or not, reading small text in a shadowy corner was not the circumstance she would have preferred had she a choice.

But there were no choices for Lena in this shadow world.

Declan hid in the darkness a few feet from her, watching her struggle, shift positions, and grunt her frustration at everything around her—the walls surrounding her, the noises of their family down the hall, the vexing flicker of the torchlight.

Her contempt for the vampire existence was like shards of ice thrust through his already cold, immortal heart.

"You're stalking me again," she mumbled, not looking up from her book.

A few years ago, she never would have known Declan was lurking. But she was clever. Often too clever.

Bowing his head before stepping from the shadows, Declan replied, "It is necessary."

"I'm reading. What trouble do you really think I can get into?" she asked, her eyes accusatory slits.

"You should not be reading in a public location. If he catches you—"

"Yeah, if he catches me he'll call me pathetic and treat me like garbage like every other stupid day," Lena said, her defiant eyes peeking over the top of her book. "I'll risk it."

Lena flippant distain caused a sense of sinking deep inside her sire. What she said was true. Whatever punishment she might endure if caught would be nothing new. Their Master had never been kind to her.

Declan bowed his head again. There was nothing more to add to this conversation they had shared so many times before, so he skipped the argument to the end.

"Our private quarters would be wiser."

Lena shot up and slammed her book shut, the sound of it echoing far down the long corridor, making the chatter from the Main Hall cut off.

"Can't you ever leave me alone?" she hissed and stormed off, stomping away like an ill-tempered child.

Declan followed, keeping himself hidden once again. He still believed she would not know he was there as long as he focused, as long as he did not want her to know. Declan always had had the gift of concealment, as far back as he could remember. He'd mastered it, was wholly confident in his ability to remain unseen. But Lena was getting better at detecting him, at sensing his presence.

Soon, he would need to find alternative means to watch over her.

As Lena turned the next corner, Annabelle and Lennox were waiting. Their matching, light blonde hair and pale blue eyes were a blur of light as Declan slammed backward into the shadows.

The pair held hands as they typically did. They stood as close as possible, arms interlaced. Their union was the strongest Declan had ever witnessed. Of the hundred or so vampire mates he had met, Annabelle and Lennox had something of their own, stronger and more apparent than any other. It was almost tangible in the air around them.

It should not have, it was not fair it did, but seeing them and feeling their bond never failed to sadden Declan. He felt his heart tighten as he peered at the back of Lena's head, expecting something he was beginning to fear would never come.

When Lena saw the couple, she aptly hid the book she had been reading behind her back and threw up her hands, greeting them with a grumble.

She should not have books at all. Any connection with the outside world was prohibited. Though Annabelle and Lennox would not divulge her whims, it was wise for Lena to hide it. If nothing else, so they would not have to decide whether to condemn her, or lie for her.

She might enjoy tempting the possibility, but Lena was bright enough to know when boundaries could be pushed. And when they could not.

"What is wrong, little one?" Annabelle asked, her tone and expression stoic. "Where have you been all night?"

"I feel like being alone today."

"When _don't_ you feel like being alone?" Lennox teased.

Lena did not reply and Declan knew the reason. She did always want to be alone. And she did not hide her feelings as well as she wished she did.

"It was twenty years ago today," she mumbled. "I want to spend my birthday by myself. Is that so crazy?"

The muscles along Declan's shoulders bunched. He had hoped this would be the year Lena forgot this day. Any other young vampire would have already given up their remaining human memories. But not his Lena.

Annabelle shook her head slowly, her lips pursed together so tightly they disappeared. "You're asking for trouble when you do this."

"I can't stand being watched all the time."

Annabelle's eyes jumped to the shadows where Declan hid. She could not know exactly where he was. She could not see him, nor sense him. But Annabelle assumed Declan was there, following Lena around, as he generally did.

"You must start learning to fake it then, my little one," Annabelle said with a nod, returning her eyes to Lena.

Annabelle always balanced on the line of what was and was not appropriate to tell Lena. As the youngest member of the family, Lena was not allowed to know truths about the immortal existence. Not yet. Though she hid it well, and tended to be subtle, Annabelle told Lena about certain things she should not have known about, being still so young.

Declan was secretly grateful to Annabelle for those crafty indiscretions.

Someday, Lena would know how much Annabelle helped her with those subtle hints ever since the day she was turned into a vampire, ever since she moved into the Castle. Twenty years ago, today.

Someday, she would realize how much she was cared for.

Someday, Lena would know why Declan watched her as he did, keeping her at a distance but always in sight.

He had to believe it was true.

"Colin would like to see you," Annabelle said, stepping aside so Lena's path was clear to the Main Hall.

"Fantastic." Lena ducked her head to hide her grimace from Annabelle.

Reaching out, Lennox wrapped his knuckles against Lena's shoulder. The simple gesture the two often shared seemed intended to reassure. Lena's eyes softened, and she began to walk.

"Where is that child?" Colin's voice roared from the Main Hall, and Declan sighed as she did not pick up her pace at their Master's words. She sauntered, possibly even slower than before, taking her time in defiance.

"You yelled?" Lena said with a roll of her eyes and an upturned lip after entering the room.

The Main Hall was the heart of the Castle. It had little in the way of furniture or decoration. Only a long, wooden table and matching benches on either side served as seating on the floor. The only other objects were Colin's. He lounged upon his makeshift throne, which was nothing more than an old-fashioned chair that would be found in a professor's study atop a stage elevating him above his family.

Colin looked down from his platform now and stared at Lena. Declan could feel the hostility Colin had towards her, but it did not show on his face.

"Where were you?"

"Down the hall. God, like there's anywhere to go in this place."

She had so much disgust and hatred in her voice, Colin could not miss it. And would not allow it.

"You pathetic child," Colin hissed, rising from his chair. "You are part of this family. It is time you act like it. When there is a feast, you will attend. That is final."

"Aren't six vampires worshipping at your feet enough for you?"

"The time for your infantile behavior has come to an end," the Master roared. Only Lena could encourage him to raise his voice.

Colin's consort Viola took a step forward, her long arms flush with her sides. Her slender neck craned toward Lena and her frigid eyes narrowed. She had been in the shadows behind Colin. Declan was not positive, but he did not think Lena was aware she had been near at all.

She was so new to their ways. Lena still had yet to attain even the most basic vampire abilities.

Of course, her determined resistance had a part in her stunted growth.

Viola leaned toward her sire and whispered. Declan, being in the far corner of the large room could pick up some of what she said. The important word, he heard clearly.

Book.

Although he did not know for certain what would happen, Declan felt a desire to emerge from the place he hid and stand in front of Lena. It would be unwise. And pointless. But the desire was there nonetheless.

Yet he was able to resist. Inactivity had become so very easy. Even as Viola stepped down from the stage, glided to Lena, and clasped her arm in a crippling grip, Declan remained focused, remained hidden.

"Give it to me," Viola growled. When Lena did not oblige immediately, Viola spun her around with one yank of the wrist and snatched the book she had stuck in the back of her pants.

Declan closed his eyes. They were doomed.

"Where did you get this?" Colin growled, standing in front of Lena now, his inexpressive face looking as angry as it ever could.

"How do we get anything in this _prison_?" she spat, looking their Master disrespectfully in his eyes.

"You get things delivered, don't you? How? Where does anything you get come from? How can we stay hidden like we are? Why don't the humans ever come to investigate this creepy old place no one ever enters or exits?"

Colin fumed and looked as though he was going to lose control and hit her. This was not the first time she had asked these questions and gotten no answers. Declan suspected she continued to ask not necessarily because she wanted to know, but because it made Colin so angry.

Viola, still holding Lena's arm, nodded to her sire. Declan had not seen nor heard his orders, but Viola knew what her consort's wishes were.

Viola flung Lena around, lifting her off the ground and tossed her like paper into the far wall. Viola and Colin were already out the door by the time Lena hit the floor.

Declan knew Lena would not be hurt. It would hardly even give her any discomfort, only immobilize her for a few moments. So he followed Colin.

It was evident where he was headed. The room Declan and Lena shared was usually private. The other members of the family respected the intimate quarters of a mated pair. But Colin was their Master, and Lena's insolence negated her privacy.

They found her hiding place within seconds. All they had to do was smell for them. Pages and leather and ink smelled like nothing else in the Castle, which smelled of fire and granite.

The stones in the far corner of the room looked askew. The mortar had been stripped away and the wall behind the stones hollowed out. At least one hundred books were stacked into neat piles that Viola quickly knocked over and scattered.

"Were you aware of this?" Colin yelled, and Declan realized he had let his guard down. He had stopped focusing, and was clearly present in the room to the other vampires.

"I was not," Declan lied

"You could not smell them?"

"It never occurred to me to try."

He lied well.

"No, I suppose not," Colin muttered, then took another look into Lena's small library. "How has she figured out how to have things delivered? She must have been doing this for years."

Though he was not sure it was wise to say anything, Declan offered, "Lena is clever. If she wants something, she finds a way."

The Master did not like this answer, and something lit in his unblinking eyes. Declan knew what would happen next. The contraband was forbidden. And Lena had to be punished.

"Help us," Colin commanded, and Declan obeyed.

Colin said us, but did not move. He left the dirty work to his consort Viola, who was more than willing to carry out any sinister task he asked of her.

Declan followed Viola's lead and began pulling all of the books from the hiding place in the wall out to the middle of the room.

"Pull down the torches," Colin ordered. They were in Viola's hands immediately.

Excitement glowed in her inhuman eyes. The words were barely out of Colin's mouth before Viola had the flames on the books. "Burn them all."

# CHAPTER 2

I smelled the fire. I knew what it meant. My books were all I had of the life they stole from me. And now they were taking those away too.

I hid among the darkness using the torchlight I hated so much to my advantage. All I could do was hide. Not because I was scared of what Colin was going to do to me, but because I didn't want to have to look at any of them. They made me sick.

My vampire family. Ugh.

If Declan hadn't bothered me, I would have finished my book. No one would have even known I'd been there. But I sensed him standing there, felt him watching me, not blinking, obsessively unable to give me any peace. I couldn't take it anymore, and just had to open my big mouth.

I was on the last few chapters too. Now I'd never know how it ended.

I heard hastened footsteps coming towards me, so I backed against the wall and focused. I closed myself off, pictured myself as invisible, as inaccessible. I was made of stone, just another part of the granite wall I leaned against.

Stone Lena, surrounded by walls.

It wasn't such a hard thing to imagine.

Henry walked past me with a mission, oblivious his arm came only inches from me. His vacant expression matched his consort who followed steps behind him, as she always did. Henry and Mary had never shown any discernible personality traits I could remember. They were Colin's willing servants, off to destroy the one thing that kept me sane since I joined them.

Because they couldn't possibly let me have something of my own. Because I never belonged here at all, and everyone knew it.

I had no idea what it would feel like to fit somewhere. I had no memory of belonging.

As soon as Henry and Mary were out of sight, I ran. Swift and light footed, the flames of the torches along the walls whizzed past and looked like one orange line out of the corners of my eyes.

It didn't matter where I was going. There was nowhere to go. No way out but through the front door which was sealed by so many ancient locks I could hardly count.

There were actually only eight.

But the locks were old and loud. The grinding of the gears made a distinct sound I wouldn't be able to dampen. Any other way out had been boarded up years ago, with metal planks and iron screws.

There was no hope of freedom.

Outside Colin's absurd Castle, it was the 21st Century. There were lamps with bright light bulbs and alarm systems that made medieval torches and eight ancient locks ridiculous. There were cars and restaurants and school buildings, all outfitted with television screens that could entertain with all sorts of stories.

I knew not because I remembered, but because of my books.

The aroma of burnt paper struck my senses. Furious, I jumped down a flight of stairs, my feet never touching a step.

Why was I even bothering? What was the point in running? What was the point in fighting? In caring?

I could picture my vampire family standing around the bonfire made by my belongings. Even though I hadn't yet mastered the ability to sense where Declan was on the level he could sense me, I knew he was helping his beloved Colin with whatever task was asked of him. As usual.

It didn't matter that Declan knew what the books meant to me.

It didn't matter that it had been Declan who got them for me in the first place.

Colin commanded, and Declan obeyed.

I imagined Colin's cruel partner Viola, the perfect embodiment of how a vampire female was supposed to behave. Sort of like an evil, plastic flower, she was cruel and gorgeous and unchanging, forever. Viola would revel in tossing my books into the fire, the flames reflecting in her cold eyes. Those flames belonged there. She loathed me, and I loathed her back.

Colin was the Master of our vampire family, or the leader in non-vampire terms. He would be standing away from the flames, too self-important to do the task himself. He'd throw one of my precious books in ceremoniously, and then let the rest of the family finish the job.

Colin was always too formal, too coifed, too polished. Transparently fake. He demanded my respect daily, but didn't deserve it and would never get it.

Nothing would ever change here. This was my existence and this would be my miserable existence for countless lifetimes.

If I'd known how to end it all, I would have years ago.

The door came into focus during the peak of my pity party. Though the manor looked the same with grey stone and torches on all three floors and even in the tower at the highest point, I didn't think I'd ever been in this hallway. I'd never seen this door.

I'd gone all the way down to the first floor and hadn't even realized, too preoccupied with my thoughts and my memories to notice. The family tended to stay on the upper levels, I thought for safety in case the humans ever decided to investigate, which I constantly expected, and somewhat wished would happen.

In the beginning, I'd explored all of the levels of the big house, but hadn't ventured down to the ground floor for many years. Torches were not even kept lit down here, and even to me, it was nearly pitch black. But that wasn't going to stop me.

When I reached the door, I wasn't surprised to find it welded shut. With one, efficient yank I pried it away enough from the doorframe to slip inside. I was two floors away from the rest of the family. I doubted they heard the noise.

The room smelled of stagnant air and cobwebs brushed my face as I walked through. There were small, dirty windows on the walls close to the high ceiling letting in light from the dawning day outside. Soon, I'd be able to see perfectly. But the darkness felt private, like it was there for me.

I savored the silence as a few minutes passed, waiting for the sun to rise a little more outside. There was no scent of fire in this room, no crackling of flames, or prattling family members. I loved it.

When the room was bright enough for my eyes to take it in, I saw the outline on the floor. As if I knew it was there. As if it had been placed there today for me.

It was my birthday present. My first one in twenty miserable years.

The air in the room was still, which made it easy to hear the quiet wisp of breeze coming from the outline on the floor. The door was as clear as day to me now.

I could smell fresh air. It had to be coming from outside the Castle, which made me think something I'd never dared seriously consider before.

Maybe there was a way out.

The door lifted easily, revealing a wooden ladder leading into the darkness below.

It was a cellar.

Maybe I should have thought more about what lied beneath. I couldn't see where the ladder led. But I leapt feet first, only a fleeting and easily rationalized moment of doubt entering my thoughts.

There was nothing left here for me. Colin would tighten his reins on me for hiding things from him for all these years. It didn't matter that I'd chosen books as my rebellion. I'd wished for other things in the past, a flashlight, an ink pen, a calendar. Any of these items would have led to the same overreaction if they were found. All of it was a link to the human world, a world I was infatuated with, a world I still remembered, and a world we were absolutely prohibited from knowing and encouraged to forget.

There was wet mud at my feet. There were vines touching my skin and spiders crawling in my hair. It all felt magnificent. It was something new, something different.

A slight breeze was the only beacon I needed and I walked through the dark with confidence. I had to push hard to get the rickety door open. Plants had grown over it, sealing it shut and likely hiding it from view outside.

But when the plants gave way, and the door opened out to the world, to the real world at times I worried didn't actually exist, I felt joy for the first time since I became immortal.

For the first time since I died, I was free.

**

Will Shepherd began the morning like any other. Alarm at 7:45. Snooze twice. Shower. Brush teeth. Cereal for breakfast.

As Will shoveled a spoonful of corn flakes into his mouth with one hand, he poured water to the brim of his coffee maker with the other, splashing some over the side and onto the kitchen counter. Like countless days before, Will placed his bare foot in yesterday's spilled coffee grounds hiding on the linoleum floor, forcing him to clean them up just in time to spill new grounds on the floor today.

To probably be stepped in tomorrow, Will thought with a grin.

The TV was already primed on the station with what Will thought was the most accurate weather report. Sunny today. Slight chance of afternoon showers. High, a humid eighty five.

Last week it was cold enough for a jacket. St. Louis weather was crazy like that though.

It took seventeen minutes to walk to his class, Popular Culture, the classic, senior year blow-off class. Fourteen minutes if he hurried. Which gave him eleven minutes before he absolutely had to leave his apartment. But eight would be better.

The coffee pot hissed and gurgled, and Will poured the entire thing into a portable mug, snapping on the lid and spilling some of the boiling liquid down his hand.

It only stung for a second, and Will carelessly wiped his hand on his shirt.

He robotically went through the motions of the remainder of his routine. Gather his books, make sure he had a pencil, find his keys and wallet.

There were three missed text messages on his cell phone. One incoherent one was from his best friend, Spencer, sent at 3:30am that morning. With one thumb, Will replied.

Dude, you all right? Stop by later.

The other two messages were from a girl who desperately wanted Will's graduation day plans so she could invite him to her daddy's house to celebrate. She wasn't Will's type. She didn't even know his last name. Quickly deleting her messages, he slid the phone into his pocket and double checked for his keys and wallet.

Eight minutes until he definitely had to leave for class. But five would be better.

As long as he stuck to the routine, there was no reason to do any worrying. But five minutes was too long with no tasks to do. He could watch TV, but would make himself late. He could clean the spilled coffee grounds off the floor, but then what would he do tomorrow morning?

But he knew tomorrow would be different. Twenty-four hours from this moment, Will would be a college graduate. Unless something life-changing occurred out of the blue and for the first time in Will's predictable life, tomorrow would be different.

No more pencils, no more books. At least 'til grad school. _If_ he went to grad school. What would come next was still up in the air, which meant for at least a year, he wouldn't be in school.

The uncertainty was unsettling, and time wasn't moving ahead fast enough.

Three more minutes.

On a day that should have been exciting, Will felt trapped. For him, graduating college didn't mean the beginning of his future, but the end of an era. Without school, there were no more ends. If he got a job, there would be thirty-plus years of work. No more finals. No more graduations. No more ends. Only routine.

But Will was good at routine.

Two more minutes.

Things came too easily to Will. And he knew it. Girlfriends, good grades, money. And he wasn't much of a go-getter, as his dad used to say. But Will didn't have a choice. Without classes, he'd be expected to step up his game, in spite of not really knowing how.

He might have to actually try at something for once. What if he wasn't actually good at anything? What if it was all downhill from graduation?

The idea made him queasy.

Will shook his head and checked his watch. He could leave now, wouldn't have to rush, and would get to class on time. It was good to have a task, and Will's worried thoughts disintegrated.

None of it mattered, really. He'd do what he had to do, and get through today. Like he always did. He'd stay on schedule, stick to the routine. Routine was easy, effortless.

Will Shepherd was good at effortless.

# CHAPTER 3

I ran. The warm, damp, morning air washed over my face, and I welcomed the new feeling. Colin's Castle was always dry and cold. Those stupid torches were to blame, always flickering and that awful, cold, hard stone.

I tried thinking only about the present moment, the road ahead, how great it felt to run flat-out, what waited over the still-dark horizon. But Colin's disapproving face kept interrupting. My thoughts returned to the Castle again and again. It was all I knew.

Since the morning had just dawned, the highway I ran next to didn't have many cars on it. Enough though to convince me to stay focused on not being seen. I didn't really like being in stealth-mode. But if Colin taught me anything, it was humans didn't react well to seeing vampires.

He said the mere sight of us terrified them. Which, I supposed was why we weren't allowed around them at all. Plus the fact that, even though it was absolutely forbidden, it was hard to resist wanting to feed on living humans.

Not that I would knew from experience.

As I ran, I took in everything I could. Cars had gotten bigger since I was human. I wasn't supposed to, but I remembered little things about my human life. I knew the cars-on-steroids I saw on the road next to me were nothing like the tiny, toy cars from my time. They looked more like tanks.

It had only been two decades, but a lot could change in that amount of time.

I always clung to my old life, and my vampire family made me feel like a freak for it. But I liked those memories. I kept the little things that used to make me happy tucked away in my mind. Cheeseburgers. Butterscotch. My head hitting a fluffy pillow after a long day. The smell of autumn leaves. Standing in the rain. Smiles meant for no one but me.

I sighed.

Those small things were pretty much all I remembered. The big things? Family. Feelings. Actually _being_ human. Those memories couldn't be saved, no matter how hard I wished they could be. All of those memories were lost during the change, forced out of us right along with our humanity,

Some days, those little things are the root of all of my unhappiness. I wished I didn't remember. I wished I could be like everyone else.

And some days, those little things are the only things keeping me from giving up, giving in and allowing myself to truly die and become one of _them_.

A mindless automaton. Like Henry and Mary.

A cold shiver crept down my back.

_No, I'm not like them,_ I reminded myself. _At least I know who I am. I kept my name. I'm Lena._

Vampires were given a new name when they were reborn, chosen by their sire. I was thankful Declan took so little interest in me. I wanted to remember who I was. I was Lena.

The scenery was rapidly changing around me. It was a distraction from my thoughts once again returning to the Castle. Even though my body was free from there, I hadn't realized how hard it would be to free my mind along with it.

A city appeared out of nowhere as I climbed a hill, focusing even harder on remaining unseen because there were more tanks on the road here, where several highways met and all of the lanes converged onto a bridge above a brown river.

The tip of a huge, silver arch reflected the rising sun behind me and made me squint, but I didn't want to look away. As I forced myself to go on, there was a stadium on my right that looked so close to the highway I ran on, it felt like I could reach out and touch it.

It was all so cool. So new.

I didn't know how far I would run. I couldn't do it forever, especially as the sun got higher in the sky and the tanks multiplied on the road.

As I passed the cityscape and continued along the highway, things became green again. There were plants and grass instead of concrete and buildings. I liked the green, so I took an exit and was in a large, lush park.

Humans walked their dogs. Humans biked along the perimeter and humans jogged in every direction.

Humans humans everywhere.

It was beginning to get to me. My stomach twisted with hunger. I hadn't eaten with the rest of the family last night. Now I wished I had.

But today was my birthday, and I wanted to be alone. Not only was it my birthday, it was the day I became a vampire. Perhaps death day would be more accurate. Or maybe reborn day. But it was also my human birthday. I turned twenty on the day Declan took my life from me.

No one else remembered their birthdays. Or death days. Just me.

Though, to be fair, they were all centuries older than me. Maybe I'd forget my birthday someday too.

They expected me to be content, locked in a fortress, away from the world, never seeing anything new, never knowing if the things I remember used to make me happy could make me happy now.

The glamorous life of an immortal. Woohoo.

What was the point of living forever if you never got to experience anything?

The same old, boring conversations with the same old, boring people for all eternity? What a waste of an existence. How they never got sick of each other, I'd never know.

My thoughts went blank as a hurrying human ran shockingly close to me.

I froze.

Yes, I was hungry. My fangs extended and I felt a wave of shame because I was so weak. Controlling the demon inside had been easy when there was no temptation. That was probably the point of the Castle, of keeping us captive there.

Now I was outside, in a park, surrounded by so many fresh, blood-filled humans that smelled so tasty. I had to get a handle on myself. I just needed to breathe.

As another human walked right by me, my fangs grew so long it was difficult to keep my mouth closed. I knew I needed to do something, go somewhere, take some time to get used to the sounds all around. Before I did something I would regret.

There were no buildings or shelter of any kind in sight. My hands began to shake and I could feel my slow-beating heart quicken in my chest.

Fangs filling my mouth, hunger and a heat pulsating behind my eyes.

Feed! The need slammed into me.

All I could see were leaves. Humans, red, and leaves. I ran to the closest tree and fell into it, wrapping my arms around its thick trunk.

Apparently I could be very stupid. Maybe I hadn't thought my escape through too well.

Obviously.

The bark of the tree was damp and rough, and I clung to it so tightly my strong arms dented it. My skin was durable, but my strength could break through with this rough bark's help if I couldn't get myself under control.

Big _if_.

Human blood was all we drank, I'd been told. But bags filled with the red liquid were brought in for us. That blood was always cold and slightly bland. It smelled like plastic and medicine. Not exactly appetizing.

The enticing blood I smelled now, though, was rich. Clean. Hot. Pulsing and thumping a rhythm all around me, from every direction.

What a complete idiot I was. What did I think would happen? I'd fit in? Fangs, super strength, thirst for fresh blood and all?

Colin and Declan's judging faces popped into my thoughts. I couldn't help it. Even though I knew they couldn't be lurking in the shadows, monitoring my every movement, it felt like they were.

Colin. Maybe because I _hated_ him, I didn't believe him when he explained the rules to me twenty years ago.

"The rules are simple," he'd said in his superior tone that made me want to kick him in the face, even the first day. "Stay in the confines of my Castle. Be loyal and attentive to your consort. If you are ever to leave my Castle, you are never to drink the blood of a living human. And keep our existence secret upon penalty of death. No human must ever know we exist."

I even remembered back then thinking of the problems with his speech. If we were never supposed to leave the manor, how could we expose ourselves as vampires? Or drink from a living human? And what if I didn't like my consort? I didn't choose him. Didn't I get a say?

Colin literally threw me into a room with Declan that night. So, obviously not.

Declan was my sire, and my consort, but I preferred the term partner. _Mate_ sounded gross. Consort sounded prehistoric. That was how it worked. A male vampire chose his female partner who was supposedly the only living human a vampire was allowed to feed on, and only during the ritual turning the human into a vampire.

Pretty messed up.

Declan wasn't all bad. He sucked up to Colin too much for my liking, and was annoyingly detached, always moping around. But he was quieter than the rest of the family, which I appreciated. We all have pale blue eyes, because Colin has pale blue eyes, but Declan has a ring of gold around his iris, which I also have. It was intriguing.

And he was beautiful, of course. But we all were.

Declan was patient with me for the first few years. I remember him repeating over and over we had eternity to be together, so we didn't have to be in a hurry. Sometimes, more often than he was supposed to, he'd even let me be alone, leaving our room and willingly giving me time to myself even if it encouraged Colin's ridicule.

I just couldn't bring myself to love the creature that murdered me.

He resented me too, of course. I saw it in his eyes whenever he looked at me. Declan had carefully chosen me among all of the female humans he'd stalked that year. Lucky me.

Around the eleventh year, we began fighting. He'd snap at me or outright ignore me and I'd mock him and tell him I hated him.

It wasn't really true, but it may as well have been. If I could never love him like I was supposed to, I was worthless to him, and to the family. I was a liability to Colin, and he never let me forget it.

Colin made it seem like it was my fault I didn't belong. He acted like I should have been able to just flip a switch and be like him.

Our Master suggested to Declan to dispose of me then. That was actually the word he used. _Dispose_. Like trash. It didn't happen often, but sometimes intended partners didn't work out, and he could try to find a new female to turn.

I'd overheard them. One of the benefits of being a loner was no one expected you to be around. I was still certain they didn't know I was there which was why I never seriously considered escaping before.

Declan refused Colin's offer, actually raised his voice to the Master of our family for the first time I knew of. He was offended. Declan wouldn't give up on me. He couldn't live if I were dead. Really dead.

That was what I had overheard, and that was why I tried.

I did my duty for the next few years. I struggled to be better, to accept the new life. It wasn't like I could change things, and the alternative was death. Sometimes I wish I'd taken the death option instead. Not that they actually gave _me_ the option. But, I didn't. I tried to change, but I couldn't deny who I really was, no matter how hard I tried.

And the past began repeating with the mocking and the fighting. But mostly with the ignoring.

I wondered more than once if Declan regretted not taking Colin's offer that day. But despite the fights and my alleged bizarre behavior, he kept trying.

It might have been possible I'd miss him. Declan. My Declan. But not more than I'd miss Annabelle. Not my true sister, but the closest thing I could imagine real family to be. Vampire families were supposed to share the same physical traits, hair color, eye color, skin color. So I always thought it was neat how Annabelle and Lennox were blonde while the rest of us had dark hair.

Annabelle got me. She encouraged me to follow the rules and be _normal_ , but she understood how much I struggled.

Her partner, Lennox was like my brother. He cared about me, if any vampire was capable of caring. Things were easy between us, almost instinctual, how I imagined human siblings to be. And he was so understanding of Annabelle, so kind and gentle and loving towards her. They made me see even clearer what was missing between me and Declan.

Annabelle and Lennox I'd miss the most.

"Um...excuse me?"

I jumped. Fear tickled my neck and fingertips. I'd thought I was still hidden, but my useful ability required concentration, and my thoughts were carelessly focused on not eating anyone.

My fingers dug into the other side of the tree which crackled beneath my grip. I wondered faintly if I'd finally broken my skin when I processed someone was standing very close.

So close.

Grabbing the human would be so effortless.

Concentrating on the things that brought me to this place was keeping me under control. Birth. Death. Angsty ramblings. Butterscotch. Declan. Annabelle.

It was funny how, now that I was away from my family, I found comfort in thinking about them. I shouldn't have been so surprised. They were the only people I knew.

"Uh. Excuse me? Are you okay?"

A male voice. A human male. I wondered what he'd look like. He sounded young. Would he be attractive in any way, or completely disgusting to my keen eyes?

"Hello?"

I heard myself grunt. Maybe I said something intelligible, but I couldn't be sure. The sound of his racing heart, of the moist, rich blood squishing through his body drowned out everything else. My canines extended so I kept my lips firmly together to hide them.

I'd never been so aware of my fangs before.

"Do you need some help?"

Maybe I made another sound, or maybe I didn't. I knew if I let go of the tree even a little, I'd kill the human next to me in an instant. In front of a park filled with humans. It'd be on the news. Colin and Declan would know where I was. I wouldn't let myself do it.

Or maybe I could. It would be easy. I could probably...

No! I couldn't. And I wouldn't. I dug my fingertips further into the tree trunk and my skin finally broke under my force. I could feel the bark against raw, open flesh and smell my blood.

There was only one way I could stop myself from killing this human. I wasn't sure if it would be enough to stop me or draw more suspicion, but it had to be worth the risk. Was I no better than Declan? Than Viola or Colin or Henry and Mary? I had to be better than that. Anything was better than murdering someone.

Pulling my head back away from the tree trunk, I wondered what the reaction this human would have to what I was about to do. Perhaps he would run away, or guess what I was. I doubted by the way I was being watched that this was considered normal human behavior.

With all of my strength, I forced the most vulnerable part of my head into the tree. My left temple hit the wood with a crack sounding like one big explosion.

It didn't hurt in the traditional sense. The memory of human pain was faint, hidden in my mind, but it was there. Pain that paralyzed, drew tears. This felt like pressure. Uncomfortable, yes. But nothing I couldn't handle.

I noticed in the next few seconds of consciousness many human heads turning to gawk at me, but I couldn't hear their blood anymore. I also noticed the male who had asked if I was okay did not run away. He came closer.

I hazily felt fear for him. I wasn't sure if I had the strength to hurt him or not as my body frantically worked to repair the wound I'd inflicted. If he got close enough, I probably could have still killed him.

Man, I did not think this through. The human wasn't leaving, he was coming to help me. And he thought the right thing to do was take me to the hospital, where there was more blood and more humans.

Oh, bad idea.

I opened my mouth and tried to speak, only vaguely hoping my fangs had retracted enough to go unnoticed. Maybe if I told this person to leave, or to keep me away from people. Or...

Dizziness overtook me and the world went black.

**

_This is so not a good idea_ , Will thought as he gathered the strange, beautiful girl into his arms and left the scene as fast as he could, keeping his eyes on his destination and not on the park filled with people who were staring at him.

What was he doing? Will didn't know this girl. He'd never seen her before in his life. And what she was doing, what she had done, was definitely not cool.

This will not end well, he thought as he shifted her weight in his arms and made his way to his apartment which was luckily across the street.

Will Shepherd was not the kind of guy who rescued damsels in distress. He was certainly no knight in shining armor. Will was used to having women come to him, fighting for his affection, not the other way around. And he couldn't stand that come-save-me attitude girls always seemed to have, deep down. Vapid, weak girls who cried too much and thought their lives had no meaning if they didn't have a desirable boyfriend to show off.

Finals week had made him even more oblivious than normal. A weird, possibly crazy stranger in need across the park, far from where he'd been walking, far from where he planned to walk wouldn't even register on his radar if his brain were functioning normally. But today he was focused on finishing his last final ever in college and he wouldn't even have noticed the science building on fire unless he was supposed to take his last exam there.

He wasn't extremely self-absorbed or uncaring towards others. He was just like most people, doing the best he could with what he had, looking after himself and the few people in his life he cared about most.

Not to mention, he hated chit chat, which always accompanied meeting new people. He couldn't stand the look new girls got when they looked at him, as if they were sizing up what he could offer.

But something inside Will made him go to this girl, to help her despite not being the type of guy to do this sort of thing, despite being distracted by exams, and despite not wanting to meet any new people.

That same something assured him she wasn't crazy, and anything strange she was doing had good reason. Life and death reasons. And it had to be him. It had to be Will who went to her, because no one else understood.

He didn't understood why either, but if something occurred to you that out of character, that out of the blue, Will figured he had to listen.

He wasn't overly strong or athletic, but the girl in his arms was light and easy to carry. Only now did he notice how much she was bleeding. Very dark red blood covered her arms and the left side of her face and head.

Was blood that dark? It looked like the kind in horror movies. Thick, like Karo syrup with too much food coloring.

And it was the wrong temperature. Too cool. He wasn't sure how he knew that. It wasn't like he had other people's blood on him on a regular basis. Maybe it was because her entire body seemed cool. Cold enough to be strange. The heat and humidity of the Midwest summer began early this year. The past week felt more like August than May. Everyone got a sticky layer of sweat on them when they walked outside. But she was dry and smooth.

Another thought occurred to him as he kicked the door open to his apartment building and shimmied through the entry, being careful not to hit the girl's head. The smartest thing would have been to take her to a hospital. Or better yet, not move her and call an ambulance. But for whatever reason, that seemed like a terrible idea at the time.

_If she dies in my apartment_ , he thought, _I bet the police won't accept that explanation_.

Thankful his apartment was on the first floor, Will set the girl on her feet and pulled his keys from his pocket. When he reached to unlock the door, the image of the thick, dark blood smeared on his pale arm sent a foreign sensation through his body. It wasn't fear, it wasn't disgust or an intense desire to wash it off.

It was exhilaration.

Creeped out, Will pushed through the door, dragging the girl with his right arm around her tiny waist. Though her shoes squeaked against the wood floor, she stayed unconscious.

Not sure what to do now that they were in his apartment, Will stood in the middle of the room and looked around for a few seconds, confused and feeling completely in over his head.

Will forced a deep breath and told himself, first thing's first.

He had to set her down. When she woke up, Will was sure the shock of being in a stranger's apartment would be enough of a surprise, let alone being held by some dude she didn't know.

Setting her on his bed, then pulling her legs up so she was lying down, Will laid her bloody head onto his pillow gently. He stared at her still face, past the rapidly drying blood, and allowed himself a few seconds to soak her in.

Pretty was not the right word. There was no word. And the inability to define her incredible appearance frustrated him, so he left her there, and stormed into the bathroom.

Her eyes, he remembered from before, were an impossible shade of pale blue. Assuming they were colored contacts, Will curled his upper lip and rolled his eyes slightly at his reflection.

Will couldn't stand girls who tried really hard to look unnatural. Too much makeup, curling their hair every day, fake fingernails and eyelashes and eye color. Girls and their vanity annoyed him most of all.

_This girl must use all the tricks_ , he thought as he washed all the way up his arms and scrubbed hard, watching the bloody water swirl in the sink.

Her dark brown hair was full and wavy. Her eyelashes were thick and framed her strange eyes flawlessly, not one long, thick eyelash touching another. Her skin was perfect. And her body was...

Will shook his head and soaped up his hands for a second time.

Beauty that perfect had to be fake.

# CHAPTER 4

He knew she was gone within an hour of her disappearance. It was like Lena to withdraw somewhere in the Castle since it was now her nature to seek solace alone, to rebel and evade and deny what she was. But Declan could always sense her if he wanted to. He could always know where she hid, and be able to retrieve her upon Colin's request.

But this morning, he had not been paying enough attention. This morning, his mind had been elsewhere. Declan had been distracted by Colin's destruction of Lena's prized possessions. He had to mask his feelings from Colin. Keep him fooled. Keep him oblivious. It took a lot of energy and concentration.

Declan neglected the warning signs and inadvertently allowed Lena to slip out of the Castle unnoticed.

And now he was outside the Castle, and therefore a fugitive too.

Though he did not think Colin would begrudge him leaving to find his consort, Declan knew he would not like it. Going out in daylight? Being seen by humans? He would be furious indeed.

Declan knew well how to appeal to Colin's ego, but was not certain he could be placated this time. His sizeable ego had already been injured.

Despite ruling his family with an iron hand, his youngest charge ran away. Oh yes, Colin would fear the information getting to his King. He would fear looking like an incompetent Master. He would stop at nothing to retrieve Lena before anything happened that he could not conceal.

She would be punished for her disobedience when she was found. And she _would_ be found.

Even more worrisome, Declan doubted she would be able to resist her thirst. Lena had not had the experience. No vampire could resist the desire to feed if they were not constantly aware of its presence. How else would she find blood?

And where would she hide? She would not be able to keep out of sight from humans. Knowing her, she would not even want to. No, Lena would not be able to stay hidden. And Declan half expected to find her being hunted by an angry mob with pitchforks or having caused a mass riot amongst the humans.

Not pitchforks, Declan had to remind himself. It would be guns and bombs these days.

But if she killed someone, if she were recognized for what she was...

"This is why there are rules," Declan growled to himself as he walked along the side of the highway, letting his instincts lead him.

He had to get to her first. He had to make sure she was safe, did not break the rules, assuming that was at all possible. Most importantly, he had to get Lena under his protection before Colin arrived.

If Colin found her first, Declan could only guess the penalty his Lena would have to endure.

Declan could not allow it. He would not be able to bear it.

Yes, Lena had to be protected, whether she liked it or not.

And Declan already knew quite well she would not.

**

I realized I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be moments before I regained consciousness. Strange sounds and smells forced themselves into my thoughts and made me want to wake up.

Though I knew what had happened, the events in the park were clear, I had no memory of leaving the park. And I was definitely not in the park now.

Not a good sign.

Someone, some human must have touched me, carried me, maybe even gotten my blood on them.

_That_ couldn't be good.

I didn't know how the whole vampire sire thing worked. That was a secret kept by the Master of the family, and I was most definitely the last person Colin would ever tell secrets to. I may have asked Declan once, but he never told me. And really, why would I need to know? I'd never be male, so I'd never be a sire.

Misogynists.

But I was sure blood had something to do with it. All the books said so. And why else would we drink it? But did biting sire a human? Was that why we weren't allowed to be around them? Or did contact with vampire blood do it? Drinking our blood? Sharing human blood with a vampire's?

Since I was covered in my blood and in close proximity to a human, perhaps I should have been a bit more interested in the process.

There was a thumping in the room. A heartbeat. I felt its vibrations, so I braced myself and squeezed the life out of the nearest object my grasp could find. It was thick and kind of scratchy, something I would never feel in the lap of luxury of Colin's ridiculous monstrosity of a Castle.

He called it a Castle. It was essentially a big house on a few private acres of land. But the inside was made to look like a medieval fortress with torches and stone and tapestries. Colin was so pretentious. He clearly had a hard time adjusting with the times.

Thump thump. Thump thump. Like a dinner bell.

"Are you awake?" the same male voice as before whispered tentatively.

I opened my eyes slowly, and finally looked at the young man who was looking at me. He wasn't impressive. He looked kind of skinny and not very tall, his body lost in oversized clothes. There were smears of coffee stained on his shirt. He had dark-circled, bloodshot eyes that made my stomach tighten. I tried to pull back my focus and see his face. Light skin, dark stubble, messy, brown hair, light brown eyes. Like chocolate, with specks of green.

Stop staring at his eyes, Lena!

I blinked, and refocused. He was smiling. The human was smiling at me.

It was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. A primeval part of me knew he should have been afraid. Why wasn't he? I was a predator and he is meant to be my food. Not that I had any intention of eating him...even though I lost tons of blood before and really needed to eat something soon...

Food. It was funny. When I thought of it I only pictured those plastic bags filled with the bland, red stuff.

"Where?" I was surprised my vocal cords functioned with the vibrations of his thumping heart going through me. "Who are...?"

"Will. My name is Will. Shepherd. Will Shepherd. Sorry, I know you don't know me, and I don't know what happened back there. But you were bleeding and—and uh—and then suddenly you were...um... I didn't know what to do. I...I just..."

Was there an answer in there somewhere? I wondered as I tested my body. Everything worked, and I seemed to be getting back my control. This human, this Will, was far on the other side of the room. Sure, I could grab him if I couldn't help myself. If I could still hear the thumping of his heart, the squishing of his blood, he was near enough for me to kill him.

But the frantic urgency I had in the park was gone.

As if to mock my false confidence, my empty stomach growled.

Okay, no, not gone. Better. There was only one human now, and he was all the way across the room. It was manageable. For now.

At least I couldn't feel any pointy fangs as I discretely touched the tip of my tongue to each blunt canine.

Wonder where they keep those plastic bags of blood.

"What happened?" I said, sitting up at what I thought was normal speed.

The human flinched, putting his arms up to stop me and cried, "you should take it easy."

My head felt fine. I must have looked pretty terrible though. There was blood on my face and arms, on my shirt, in my hair, but the wounds were closed. Nothing a shower and new clothes wouldn't fix. I could have been nice. Part of me understood his reaction, but I hated being told what to do.

"I don't need to be protected," I snapped, harsher than I meant it.

Will put his arms down and tilted his head slightly giving me a curious look, but didn't recoil like I expected and instead asked, "Do you feel okay?"

He stepped slightly forward but didn't make a sound as I threw my legs over the side of the small bed. He was concerned. How very strange.

I put up my hand just as he had, telling him not to come any closer, and he got the message and backed up a few steps.

"I'm...okay. What happened?"

"You hit your head. Or, really, you smashed your head into the side of an oak tree. On purpose."

I could almost see the thoughts occur to him. Why did he bring this crazy person here? She is probably an escaped mental patient who needed her medication. Who self-inflicts a major head injury? Who had the strength to bash their own head into a tree with that much force? Why does she look and act so weird?

I could still see my blood on him. He thought he washed it off, but it was still there, beneath his nails, on his jeans, a spot on the under part of his elbow. It didn't seem to hurt him.

Good to know.

He was staring at me again.

He's staring at me because I'm staring at him. Look away, Lena. Blink or something. Act human.

As if I had any clue what that meant anymore.

"I'm...sorry for...for the blood."

You're awesome, Lena. Truly.

"Hey, it's all right. I'm all clean, see?" he raised his hands and waved them at me. The spot of my blood on his elbow caught the light, and I felt a weird tingle inside and the tension in my body loosen. "And the pillow can be cleaned."

I looked down. A perfect head print of dark, drying blood was on the pillow. Even if contact with blood alone didn't sire a human, being around it couldn't be a good thing.

"So, like, what happened?" Will asked, taking a step forward.

I jumped off the bed, too quickly probably, and flashed him a warning. He took another step back and looked away. But his heart rate didn't quicken. Interesting.

What do I do? What am I supposed to say?

I played with the dry blood on my fingers and wondered if he noticed the cuts were already healed. Probably not.

"Oh, right. You want to clean up? Here," he said, zipping around the room, sniffing and tossing items, then gathering things into his arms along the way. When he stopped again he held out a t-shirt and a towel and said, "There are bandages and alcohol under the sink."

When I showered, he'd see my wounds were healed. But I couldn't go outside again covered in blood. Putting bandages around my arms and head to keep up appearances would be wise.

I really had to drink some blood soon.

As he watched me, again I could practically see the thoughts go through his head. He had such a telling face, so honest. He wondered again why he was doing this, why he was helping a stranger who was so obviously abnormal. He set the shirt and towel on the bed and stepped away.

I made myself walk slowly over to the bed and picked up the clothes. He watched but tried not to gawk. I wondered what I looked like to him. Colin said from far away, we blended into the crowd. Humans would never know a vampire was different and impossibly attractive until it was too close to escape.

But we didn't hunt, so this ability was useless.

If that was even the truth. I suspected most of what Colin said was a lie.

But I was pretty close to Will now and there was a look in his eyes reminding me of Declan for some reason. It freaked me out.

Walking toward the door I guessed was the bathroom, I turned around to face him. I should say something. That was what people did, right?

"I..." I started but was not sure what to say. He smiled at me again and suddenly I knew what to say. "My name is Lena."

His smile grew, revealing his white, human teeth, and he nodded.

Unsure of what to do, I flitted to the bathroom and slammed the door much harder than I meant to. Getting clean would be good. I'd be able to focus, to figure out what to do next.

Food. I had to eat. I felt a little weak and I had no idea what feeling hungry would do to me. What happened when we didn't eat? Did we eventually die? Wouldn't that be funny, if we lived forever and could only be really hurt by other vampires but being very hungry killed us?

Actually, it wasn't so funny.

Where could I get blood? I couldn't exactly go around asking people.

Excuse me, where do you keep the blood?

Yeah, that wouldn't cause any suspicion.

The bathroom was small and smelled like mildew and cleaning supplies, but the shower worked and I could lock the door. Locks were a luxury I wasn't allowed at Colin's Castle. I doubted people realized how comforting the option of privacy was until they lived two decades without it.

Stripping off my bloody clothes and folding them into a neat pile, I stared at myself in the mirror. My blood had dried so dark it almost appeared black. I needed to wash it off and make sure there weren't any traces left behind when I left.

In the shower, I made the water near scalding. It felt good, burned and stung with each drop hitting my cold skin. With my eyes closed, I could almost enjoy the feeling.

Apparently I liked showers. Colin's Castle, his ridiculously ostentatious Castle only had baths. Ornate, marble baths where the water would always be too cool because it took forever to fill.

I heard a door slam and felt two new thumping hearts beyond the locked door. Even with the shower running I could hear everything they said.

"What is up?" a male voice said.

There was a boy and a girl. I could tell by their scents.

The boy fidgeted and shuffled his feet in the middle of the room as he said, "I'm still excessively caffeinated. Pulled an all-nighter with my good friends Red Bull and Starbucks for my 8am final. Now I can't wind down."

"I told him it wasn't worth it," the girl said dryly. I heard her sit in the chair at Will's desk and hardly move at all.

I could feel where Will was in the room, by the bed covered in my blood. Was he trying to hide it? Smart.

"Are you done yet?" the boy asked.

I had no idea what they were talking about so I quickly washed myself with the strong smelling soap and wrung out my hair until the water falling from it was clear again.

"I've got one at 2:00 today, and then I'll be done."

Out of the room, I was able to really hear Will's voice. It was pleasant and smooth, soft and with a tone that did not irritate my ears. The other boy's voice was more frantic, louder, higher, faster. It was not all together unpleasant, just less appealing.

"I'm gonna try to get some sleep this afternoon. But, party tonight? Our place?"

"That's the plan," the smoothness of Will's voice tingled my ears this time, and a quick ache twisted in my stomach, then disappeared.

I must be hungrier than I thought.

Inspecting my body, there was no longer any trace of blood, except what was on my clothes and what went down the drain. I shut off the shower and dripped water onto the linoleum as I spanned the length of the steamy bathroom to where I left the towel and shirt Will gave me. They both smelled like soap and honeysuckle.

There was a few seconds of silence, then quick footsteps.

"Who's in the shower?" the boy whispered excitedly.

Wrapping the towel around myself, I stayed very still, waiting to hear Will's voice again and wondering how he would explain me to his friends.

"Is it a girl? When did you have time to get a girl? It's exams week!" the boy laughed, but something about his tone sounded like reverence.

"Yes, there's a girl in there," he whispered. "But it's not what you think."

I heard more footsteps, lighter ones now. The girl's.

She did not bother whispering. She screamed, "Will, oh my God! Is that blood?"

More quick footsteps and all three heartbeats quickened.

"Is that your blood? Are you hurt?" the girl asked frantically.

"No, it's not my blood." He trailed off and even without seeing his telling face I knew what he was thinking. There was no way to explain this situation.

Not thinking it through, because if I had I would have changed my mind, I opened the bathroom door and immediately got the attention of the room as steam wafted out around me.

"It's mine."

The girl froze, her mouth hanging open at the sight of me. Did I look scary? Water dripped from my hair onto the hardwood floor, but the towel around me was covering anything that would attract _this_ much attention.

"Are...are you okay?" the girl finally asked.

"I hit my head. I'm fine."

It was surprising how easy it was to be in the room with the three of them. Shouldn't I want to eat them? I was aware I was hungry and needed to eat as soon as possible, but the frantic desire I had in the park wasn't there.

I almost didn't even consider spanning the room and sinking my teeth into the girl's pulsating throat.

There was an awkward smile on Will's face as he took in the sight of me, as if I did not look like he anticipated. There was an unexpected lightness to Will's voice when he spoke, breaking a silence that was starting to get uncomfortable.

"This is Spencer and Julia. Guys, this is Lena."

Yes, he thought it was funny. There was laughter in his tone. I felt another strange twinge and my body relaxed again.

The boy, Spencer, was tall with broad shoulders and muscular arms. His very pale skin flushed easily, so his ears and cheeks were bright pink. The rim of lashes framing his dark blue eyes matched the flaming red mess of hair on top of his head. It was long and unbrushed, a lot like Will's. Messy. Planted on his full lips was a half smile as he gawked at me.

The girl, Julia, looked pretty plain. With straight brown hair falling to her shoulders and a shy but inquisitive glimmer in her brown eyes, she looked very young. But, then again, they all did. There was no makeup on her soft, bronze face and no perfume on her skin. Dark circles framed her eyes, making it clear she was exhausted. She did not smile.

I wondered what I looked like to them. From their expressions, they weren't afraid. It was unexpected, to say the least.

My gaze rested on Will, and his chocolate eyes dilated slightly. I could see he was confused about something. He looked at my arms, realizing there were no cuts there anymore. My arms, my fingers, and my temple are smooth and healed completely.

He wanted to ask me about it. Not now. Not in front of more people. I had to at least keep a cap on the amount of people who witnessed this stuff.

Please don't say anything. Ask me later. Please.

Amazingly, Will closed his mouth and didn't say a word. Acknowledging my good luck, or Will's accurate intuition, I decided this was a good time to get the hell out of there.

Without a word, I forced myself to walk slowly back to the bathroom and shut the door, softer this time. I dropped the towel, shimmied into my black pants which only had a few spots of blood on them, and pulled Will's t-shirt over my head. The sleeves almost reached my elbows and the hem rested at my knees. As I moved toward the door again, I nimbly rolled each sleeve up my arms and tied a knot in the back of the shirt. Much more comfortable.

One more sniff and I was certain the only traces of my blood left in the room were going to be leaving with me.

I exited the bathroom and found the three humans in exactly the same places I left them. They hadn't said anything yet. Their expressions hadn't even changed.

Oh...was I too quick?

Oops.

Man was I terrible at this.

Julia and Spencer continued to stare as I walked to the bed, took the pillow with my blood covering it, and quickly scanned the room for any more blood. There was a little, still on the bed. Under Will's nails. Some dried flakes on the floor. It was already bizarre enough I was stealing his pillow. I didn't think I could reasonably take care of the rest without freaking the humans out.

I had to let it go.

Forcing my body to go slowly, I crossed the room towards the front door and turned the knob. I glanced back at Will, hoping he knew I was grateful for what he had done for me. I wasn't able to make myself say it out loud, not with such an audience, so I turned and left the room, pulling the door closed behind me.

As I walked down the hall, I heard Spencer slap something and squawk, "What are you doing? Go after her!"

"I...I'm not sure I should," he replied.

"If nothing else," Julia said in a voice much less filled with admiration than Spencer's, "she probably needs some help."

"I think she can take care of herself," Will commented easily.

The same twinge ran through me and something about my face changed. I felt my lips spread and my cheeks rise. I put my hand on my mouth and felt around, unsure of what was happening.

I was smiling. Kind of. I thought.

It was nice someone in the world didn't think I needed to be coddled and protected all the time. Knowing someone thought I can accomplish things on my own, no matter how little that person knew of me, reassured me. Maybe I really could take care of myself.

Until that moment I hadn't realized I was questioning my escape. An empty stomach and seeing myself covered in my own blood apparently had the power to provoke doubt.

Maybe, just maybe I'd actually be able to pull this off.

# CHAPTER 5

It was far too easy to find where they kept the blood.

Freakishly easy.

But it was like I knew exactly where the medical school was. There was a clinic in the building staffed by students, interns, and hospital residents moonlighting to earn a little extra money. After only a few minutes of searching inside the clinic, and quite awhile hiding in a supply closet, I found a familiar biohazard sign on a door to a room that was filled with refrigerators.

Seriously, how I knew all of this, I had no idea.

I liked not using my ability to stay hidden. After meeting Will and his friends, and knowing the humans weren't going to run screaming, terrified by the sight of me, I decided to stop using it. It felt unnatural.

Declan and I seemed to be the only members of our family with any special abilities. I knew vampires could have more extraordinary skills if their family had a knack for it. Like flying, shape-shifting, hypnotism, all of those vampire myths in books. But my family didn't have the knack for it. Colin had no special abilities, so none of us should have. That was how it worked. Families shared similar traits, both in looks and abilities.

But, then again, that was only what I'd heard.

I heard those old abilities died out and there were no more vampires that could fly or change into a bat.

Who knew. Colin made it a point, I was sure, to keep me in the dark.

I shook my head, trying to force my thoughts away from Colin and his prison of a Castle. Eating would help.

None of the bags of blood back home had labels like these had. The plastic bags I was used to were clear. I sank my long teeth into the first bag and read the part of the label I could see as I drank greedily.

Volunteer Donor.

This product may transmit infectious agents.

That made me laugh. As if a dead thing could get infected with anything.

I licked the two fang marks on the empty bag, finally tasting the liquid. I drank so fast I hardly registered anything about it. Cold and medicinal, in the familiar manner I was used to. But it also smelled differently. Older maybe. And was weaker, like it had been watered down.

_Who cares,_ I thought as I reached for another and sank my pointy canines deep into the plastic and let the metallic, cold liquid cure my hunger.

Usually, I only needed one bag when I felt thirsty. But since I didn't know when I'd eat again, and I'd been much more active today than any other day in my twenty vampire years, I figured it was probably best to have a little on reserve.

Fill 'er up.

_After all, I can't take it with me_ , I thought as I tossed the second empty bag into the biohazard bin. At least I knew that much. Blood had to be kept cold. I may not be able to get back as soon as I needed to.

One more bag then, and I'd go.

The last bag took me longer to drink since I was completely full. But I managed to force it down and, after throwing the emptied bag in the biohazard bin along with the others, I walked out of the clinic, grateful no one wandered in during my feast. If anyone noticed I didn't belong there, I didn't detect it.

I took only a few steps before realizing I was uneasy on my feet. Slow and feeling heavy, I fell into a daze and allowed my body to go as it pleased as my brain considered the day in a hazy fog of gluttony.

As soon as I left Will's apartment, getting rid of the bloody pillow I was carrying became essential. I buried it deep inside the first dumpster I could find and covered it with garbage. Would have been better to burn it, but that would have attracted more attention.

I walked aimlessly along concrete paths after that, thankful no one paid me any attention. There hadn't been a lot of people around anyway, but I kept my eyes on the ground to be extra careful. I was quite easily able to drown out the sounds of nearby heartbeats by focusing on my thoughts.

And then I was at the medical clinic. Like I'd walked these paths before. Like I knew exactly where to go.

Hey, maybe I had known. Though, I felt like if I'd been on this campus before, I'd be able to tell. I could remember cheeseburgers. Why not places?

So, maybe there was a simpler explanation. Not that I could think of what it could be.

Now that my thirst was satisfied and my brain was able to think about other things, Declan was on my mind. Ever since the look Will had on his face reminded me of Declan, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Wavy, dark brown hair cut shorter than what would have been common when he was human, though I didn't know for sure when that would have been. In Ireland, I knew. Both Declan and Colin spoke English impeccably without any noticeable accent, but a different lilt could be heard when they talked only to each other. And they were too formal, like someone who learned the words of a language but never quite got comfortable enough with it to talk casually.

That was how Henry and Mary were too. And Viola, of course. But not Annabelle and Lennox. I never did know why the three of us spoke normally while the others sounded like robots.

Declan was always so unhappy, all of the twenty years I'd known him. When I was first turned, he was different. Angrier. Maybe Declan was disappointed with me, I didn't know. Part of me thought he didn't want a partner in the first place, and suspected Colin made him do it.

Colin was always making Declan do things, and Declan always did as he was told. Such a suck up. And he acted like he idolized my least favorite person in the world.

All right, yes, until today I only knew seven people, but still.

Declan's unhappiness, or disappointment if that was what it was, dissolved into depression as the years passed. He detached further from everyone in the family, talked less and less. After I heard Colin suggest Declan get rid of me and find a new partner, and Declan refused, there was another change. He acted as though he'd been defeated somehow.

Even though I tried to be a better partner, nothing I did was enough to make things work. Declan really seemed to resent my efforts. Sometimes he would leave our room and wouldn't look at me for days at a time.

So moody.

And he was way overprotective, never letting me do anything. I did _not_ need to be looked after all the time like some little kid.

But Declan always brought me things he knew I liked, books mostly. On rare occasions, a newspaper. Where he got them, I never knew. But I appreciated the link to the outside world. I was able to escape the Castle in a way.

He never touched me. He knew I didn't want him to. It never seemed difficult for him. It was as if he preferred not having that kind of relationship with me.

And no matter how frustrated he might have been with me, he waited for me in our room every morning so I didn't have to face Colin alone.

Yes, Declan would have been a good partner.

For someone else.

Too full of blood and feeling excessive, I was lost in my thoughts and letting my body wander. My instincts led me wherever they wanted.

I was surprised when I realized I'd walked straight into a building. Classrooms lined the hall every twenty feet or so. I passed four of them before I decided to sit down while I gathered my thoughts.

My head and limbs felt heavy and as I collapsed on the wood bench and inhaled deeply, a girl sitting on another bench at the far end of the hall looked up startled. Luckily it was only momentary, and she turned back to her books, but not before giving me an over exaggerated glare.

If I were human, my reaction would have been to laugh.

The halls smelled of dust, fake lemons and human sweat. The lighting was low and sort of blue, and the long lights on the ceiling buzzed.

Sinking back into the bench, I let my head rest against the wall and closed my eyes, feeling dizzy.

_I have no idea how to function in this world_ , I thought as the hallway spun. If Will hadn't come along, what would I have done? Hugged that tree until it, or I, snapped?

The reassurance I'd gotten from Will earlier that I would be able to pull this off obviously hadn't lasted long.

I'd been so irresponsible. The humans probably suspected I was not like them. Will's apartment had traces of my blood, which I knew was dangerous, though I wasn't sure why I was so sure of that. Not to mention all of the time I'd wasted. Colin would know I ran away by now. He was coming to get me, I was sure of it.

Ranting made me feel better, and thinking about Colin's reaction at seeing I'd evaded his Castle right under his stuck-up nose made me feel even better.

To my credit, I did find blood all by myself.

And I didn't eat anyone.

And I kept the amount of humans that witnessed me to a minimum. Sure, Will and his friends. But Will, I thought, would keep what he saw secret.

All in all, I hadn't done that badly for myself.

And maybe, with some practice...

...if I could just...

**

Will left his classroom feeling pretty good about himself. His last exam was over. Whether he did well or not, though he thought he did fine, didn't matter anymore. He was done. Undergrad was over.

It was kind of anticlimactic. It was just over. Today he was a college senior. Tomorrow, he'd be a college graduate.

Will shrugged his shoulders at his own thoughts.

Taking a minute to try harder to enjoy the feeling, to mark the moment, Will took a deep breath and looked to his left so he could stare out the window at the sunny afternoon sky. At the future, Will thought, but the idea didn't do anything for him.

If he hadn't taken that moment though, he wouldn't have seen her.

Lena leaned back on a bench down the hall from his classroom, her head against the brick wall and her eyes closed. She still wore his shirt which would have been way too big for her if she hadn't tied it up like she did.

The shirt rode up enough for Will to see a glimpse of her smooth, flat stomach. It took a few seconds before he was able to force himself to look away.

Will wondered how she knew where he was and why she would come looking for him. That must have been why she was here, for him. It was way too much of a coincidence.

Her long, brown hair was full and wavy again. Even after getting it wet and letting it air dry, he assumed, it looked flawless. In his apartment as she stole his pillow and left, he got a good look at her face and eyes. Still pale and perfect even after showering, her eyelashes still long and dark. Her crazy blue eyes had a ring of gold in them. They couldn't be colored contacts.

What a weird girl, he thought as he sat beside her on the bench.

But she was hot, he couldn't deny that. And he felt weird around her, kind of like a different person all together.

Will liked himself well enough. He was a good student, a good friend, a good son. He rarely got less than a B and gave good advice to his friends and called his mother every Sunday. But he had always known there was something missing. He had no motivation. No drive. No ambition. After college, he would probably get a crappy job and eventually go to grad school. To do what? He didn't know. Will led a passionless life, much like many people he knew.

He always had a feeling inside that when he died, he'd leave nothing behind. Normal people wanted to leave something behind when they were gone. Kids, paintings, a hospital wing. But Will couldn't see having kids. He wasn't artistic. And hospital wings cost a lot of money.

No, Will didn't think he would amount to much. He'd get a decent paying job, buy a small house. Maybe he'd meet a girl who didn't annoy him, or maybe get a dog. And that was fine by him.

Or he thought it was.

Since this afternoon, since finding Lena wrapped round that tree, he'd felt differently. Ambitious wasn't the right word. Maybe it was hopeful. If he ever figured out something useful to do, Will felt like he could accomplish it, whatever it might one day turn out to be.

For no reason at all, Will suddenly felt capable of greatness.

When Will looked over at Lena again, her pale blue eyes were wide open.

"Hey," he said, his voice higher than normal.

Bolting upright, she scooted away from him in one swift, almost unnoticeable motion.

"Sorry," Will said, putting his hands up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

A slight twitch crossed the girl's mouth, and she relaxed as she exhaled. Will wondered if that was her way of smiling.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not turning to look at him.

He laughed. "What am I doing here? This is my school. What are _you_ doing here? Do you even go here?"

Lena's eyes narrowed slowly. She looked at Will as if she was very conscious of her movements.

"No, I don't. I'm...visiting."

Will nodded, not believing her. He knew he should push the question. It was too weird she was following him. But she didn't make him feel uneasy, and Will thought, though he didn't know why, that if she were a stalker, he'd feel more uncomfortable around her than he did.

Whether it was the anticlimax of finishing college minutes ago or the weirdness of the day, Will decided he didn't want to see Lena go. He wanted to spend more time with her, get to know her, and soak up the strange feelings she gave him.

"Hey, I'm headed to get a bite to eat. You wanna join? You can tell me about your...your visit," Will grinned, wondering if she would guess he was teasing her.

"I—" she began, but stiffened as three more students left Will's classroom and walked past. The guy in the group gaped at her as they passed, which made Will chuckle.

"Come on," he urged, nudging towards Lena's arm but not actually touching it. "You've gotta eat."

"Don't you have to get to your friend's house?" she asked slowly.

Will stared into her blue eyes and drew his eyebrows in. As if she could read his confused look, Lena added, "I overheard...Spencer."

From the shower, he thought? But Will nodded, accepting her explanation. It made sense, after all. His apartment is pretty small, and she was in the next room.

"I was gonna grab a bite on my way. And the party won't kick off 'til closer to dark. Hey, you could come with me there too, if you want. It's a good time, and they're good people. Give us a chance to introduce you...you know..."

"Dry. With clothes on," Lena said softly, and Will laughed.

"Yeah," he said, standing up and waiting for her to join him. He was careful not to stare at her, and not to push her into going with him. It seemed like the right way to approach her. She made it clear. She didn't like being told what to do.

Will respected that.

# CHAPTER 6

Declan hid behind some shrubberies as humans congregated at a nearby grassy knoll and cackled and screamed. It all seemed so unfamiliar, so crass and abrasive. It had been many years since Declan was willingly amongst humans. A blink of an eye really to an immortal, but it felt like much longer.

It was strange for Declan to realize. What were a couple decades to a creature that would never die? But it seemed like a distant past, and nearly something that had happened to someone other than himself.

Perhaps it was that he had avoided the memories. Declan had always been skilled at blocking out what he did not wish to think of.

Even now, he could push it away. Even now that there were reminders everywhere he looked.

Was he really so different than before? Declan wondered.

His interests were certainly the same. The object of his fixation, his purpose for being there were the same as the last time he was in this situation.

She was still his primary concern.

Declan closed his eyes and turned away from the humans.

Put up a wall. Focus on the task at hand.

The blue sky was filling with rainclouds. If it stormed, Declan knew it would be but for a few moments. Showers such as these were common here this time of year. He had witnessed more than a few. With her.

_Focus_ , he told himself, clinching his fists and digging them into the sides of his legs.

Colin. He was still at his Castle, surely aware of what had transpired today. But he had not begun his ascent yet. The sun was still up. He would wait for dusk.

There was no need to be in a hurry it would seem. Colin was being quite arrogant, Declan believed.

He tried to reject his insolent thoughts about his Master, but they crept in. It was easy to allow them in as the rain began to fall freely on Declan's head, no Castle ceiling keeping him sheltered.

If Declan were a Master, this never would have happened. So much would have been different. Knowledge would not be abhorred. The members of Declan's family would be allowed to do what they wished, to learn and explore.

At least, that is what Declan wanted to believe about himself. He knew better. There were reasons for Colin's rules. There were reasons for treating Lena as he had. Whether Declan agreed with his tactics or not, Colin was his Master. He was to be honored.

No matter how difficult it proved to be.

It was growing more challenging to control his memories. Declan was ashamed to admit to himself how fearful he was at the idea of his thoughts running amok.

There were just too many.

Declan raised his gaze to the sky and let his face get drenched by warm raindrops. He allowed himself the moment of standing in the rain, and a grin crossed his lips for a moment, but then he shook it away and huddled in the shrubberies, shielding himself from the water from above.

He needed to focus.

Stop being ridiculous.

Lena was close. Declan could smell her scent in the air, feel her presence deep in his chest. She was close. That was all he needed to know.

Now he could wait until nightfall. Finding her would be simple.

**

I never gave much thought to what I must have been like as a human. I spent most of my time thinking about what I was like as a vampire. Though I pretty much obsessed about the stuff I remembered, the idea of actually being human was strange to me. How could I ever have been more fragile, slower, weaker? Could I have been happy back then?

I didn't even know what happy meant. Maybe when I was human I knew.

Will Shepherd smiled with such ease, and not only at me, but at everyone. The giggling girls he held the door open for when we arrived at the small, smelly restaurant. The greasy man working behind the sticky bar. The youthful waitress who took our order and brought us our food. Each human got equal attention.

The restaurant was empty but for the humans working there, and I was surprised at how they didn't linger around us. No one in the outside world, it would seem, had a problem giving someone room to breathe. Or maybe it was strangers? I had so much to learn, and was enjoying observing.

Actually, I kind of wished there were more humans in the restaurant. The more to observe, the better.

The two bites of cheeseburger I tried to eat didn't feel right in my stomach at all. They kind of sat there like two jagged rocks. Two pinecones. And even more depressing, that was what it tasted like, too. The cheeseburger didn't taste anything like my memory thought it would.

I thought it would taste rich and salty, but it was tasteless and bland. I remembered it being moist and pleasantly chewy, but it was dry and dense. It reminded me of chewing on a damp cloth.

I probably should have known.

Knowing for sure the things I liked before weren't the same made me more miserable about my existence.

Maybe if I had never known the truth, I'd still have the fun of wondering.

But I knew better. That wasn't how it was at all. It was torture, the not knowing. It's always better to know the truth.

Once I reminded myself of this, I felt better, except for the uncomfortable lumps of cheeseburger.

Will's voice remained pleasant. He did most of the talking. This Will was a very chatty human. And I appreciated that since I was still getting used to being out of Colin's Castle. Actually, I wasn't really listening to what he said exactly. Maybe that wasn't good of me, but I was still getting the hang of having company I actually wanted to have.

What I did pick up on, I enjoyed hearing. Will talked about classes and movies, some of which I even knew about thanks to the newspapers Declan had brought me. I liked the admiration his voice had when he talked about his friends.

And he didn't seem to judge me for being odd.

I was so clearly out of place. I didn't know how to sit, or what to do with my hands. I watched Will's eyes as he talked which I began to realize may not have been the convention, since when I talked, the little I talked, Will watched my mouth instead, and then looked away. I got the distinct impression humans didn't hold each other's gaze for long.

Vampires were always staring.

But Will never appeared uncomfortable. He never made me feel out of place. Will talked happily as he devoured his cheeseburger and French fries, two soft drinks, and what appeared to be his weight in ketchup.

It could have been thick blood if not for the sugary smell.

The human smiled vibrantly and his chocolate eyes danced when he laughed. There was no hint of being afraid of me in his behavior, no matter how long I accidentally studied his honest face or how close our skin came to touching.

Yes, I was enjoying my time with Will.

I liked him.

**

Will wondered if he was talking too much. All through dinner, he felt like he was babbling incoherently. Whether Lena was being polite, or wasn't much of a talker, Will appreciated that she didn't make him feel stupid.

As they walked slowly through campus towards Julia and Spencer's house, taking their time and waiting for the sun to go down, she even seemed to become comfortable.

He wasn't sure how he knew it, but something about her became more accessible in a way.

The ground was damp and there was the smell of summer rain in the air. Will loved the smell, and he liked that Lena savored it also. She took deep breaths, and that tiny little flutter crossed her lips.

After Will had run out of stuff to babble about on his own, they remained quiet for awhile. It didn't feel strange as they both watched the sun set over the school buildings.

Usually, Will didn't like sitting quietly with anyone but his close friends. He needed to keep talking. Sitting quietly felt too intimate.

But it didn't bother him at all with Lena.

"You mentioned your sisters before," she said when the sky glowed pink and the sun had dipped below the buildings.

"Nikki and Katie, yeah," Will said, wondering if he was sharing a few too many unnecessary details.

_Sometimes a simple yes is an all right answer too_ , Will reminded himself.

"Are they older?" she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm the baby of the family," he answered, giving more detail than she probably wanted to know again. "How about you?"

Lena said nothing for several paces, but finally replied, "I guess I was the baby too."

There was sadness in her voice. And she spoke in past tense which made Will wonder if something bad had happened to her or to her family. But he wasn't about to cross that line and ask.

"Does your family live close by?" Lena asked, stopping in the middle of the walkway. She stood rigid with her arms at her sides and her legs in perfectly straight parallel lines.

"My parents live about two thousand miles away, in Portland."

"Why did you leave them?" she asked, leaning towards Will as if she was very interested in his story.

"My family. They aren't exactly...um...accepting of my life choices." Will was shocked he was being so honest to a complete stranger. Usually, he was evasive about his family and, really, about all of his life before he moved away from home.

But Lena didn't seem to think it was weird, so he added, "They want me to be one way, and I'm just not."

"I think I understand that," Lena said quietly, and there was a peculiar sparkle in her strange eyes that made Will believe she really did understand. So many people said they did, but even though there was no real reason to think so, he felt Lena knew.

"They're divorced, you know, and my father is way overprotective and controlling. He always wanted me to be an accountant. Like him. You know the story."

Lena nodded, but Will wasn't convinced she did know the story because of her evasive eyes.

Movies loved that angle. Sometimes it felt like Will's life was straight out of one of those high school loser flicks, the ones where the football player really wanted to be an artist or something. And the father in the story wouldn't have it.

Only Will's life was way more boring than those cheesy films. And usually in those movies, the son goes off to do something great on his own, without his father's help.

All Will had done was manage to finish college with a BA in Communications. Not exactly the stuff of summer blockbusters.

"What do you want to be?" Lena asked, pulling Will from his mental montage of high school movie scenes.

"Pretty much anything but an accountant. I think it's more about me wanting to be trusted to go my own way. To make my own decisions."

Will hadn't thought about these things in years. When he decided to go to a college half a continent away from his family, his worry about what his father thought didn't travel with him.

When he called home, he called his mom. She was remarried to a guy, Ray, Will liked well enough. He treated Will's mom well and didn't try to be best pals with him, which he appreciated. Things were weird. Change was always hard.

And Will's father didn't exactly try to get in touch with him either. Anymore.

"What about your family?" Will asked, trying not to stare into Lena's eyes for too long. When he did, he got caught in them. They were just so strange.

"They—" she began, and ripped her eyes from Will's. She seemed to think they were looking at each other longer than was normal. "They don't understand me either."

Staring at her while she looked at the ground, Will couldn't help but grin. She did know what he was talking about.

He was sure of it.

# CHAPTER 7

Declan watched her from the shadows, prowling just out of sight. Lena stuck out like a ray of sunlight beaming through grey storm clouds. Though he hardly saw the humans surrounding her, Declan knew how strange the scene was. No one was afraid of her, or looked at her like the danger she was. Her pale blue eyes held no hint of unease, no glimmer of fighting the blood lust that made her the creature she was.

But, Declan realized he should not be surprised. It was Lena, after all.

He had almost forgotten.

Though he wondered if she had an inkling of his presence, Declan was just as confident he could watch without detection outside of the Castle as he could within it.

Lena could be invisible to these humans as well if she had the desire to be. She had inherited the ability from him, though he never explained that to her. There was so much he never explained, so much information he denied her. It was cruel, he knew. But at the time, he believed it was necessary.

Young ones had to be given time to take to their new life. Telling them secrets too early was counterproductive. Colin reminded Declan of that almost every day, in the beginning.

From the old world, the old ways, Declan obeyed Colin and the traditions of his family. On good terms with Colin from the beginning, in Ireland where Charles, the Vampire King made the decision to brave the ocean to the so-called New World, Declan understood the reasons behind such traditions.

Or, at least he used to.

Before Lena, before everything he had come to believe was turned upside down, the way of things was clear. He was a vampire. And there were reasons for the rules they followed.

When Charles's family of seventy-three started to branch out and span the as of yet vampire-uninhabited New World, Colin could not pass up the opportunity. Not long after they settled in New York around the end of the nineteenth century, Colin, always one for craving authority, decided it was time to expand his family, which at the time only consisted of himself and his partner Viola. He went to Charles and asked to be granted the honor of becoming a Master and permission to migrate west. His request was granted, though with some stipulations.

Colin would not lead a typical family.

A typical family was headed by one Master who has sired all of the males in the family. Because of this, usually only vampires who showed considerable skills were granted the honor. Since wise Charles knew Colin had no special skills, but also not being one to pass up a chance to purify his own household, Charles agreed. He gave Colin permission to sire only one new male, who turned out to be Henry, but would be required to take in another, already existing couple.

Declan too joined the new family, though taking on two not self-sired males into a new household was unheard of, and practically repugnant.

In the end, Declan suspected Charles placed him with Colin for two simple reasons. Charles was not Declan's immediate sire, and Declan and Colin appeared enough like each other to pass as true family.

Declan's existence may well have been different had he had dark skin and light hair.

Declan liked to think Colin grew to appreciate his company as they grew closer over the years and Declan became his trusted confidant. But he knew Colin would always harbor resentment towards Charles for the disgrace of not being allowed to have a true family. And towards Declan because he was a daily reminder of the disgrace.

Colin never warmed even a little to Lennox, the other male in the family he did not sire, and was particularly harsh with Annabelle.

Until Lena.

Able to busy himself with other things for nearly a century, Declan was not pestered much to find a consort at first. But once Lennox, Annabelle, Henry and Mary were assimilated well, as well as they would be, Colin insisted it was time for their family to be complete, for Declan to find his consort.

If their family were complete, Declan knew Colin stood a chance to earn the right to sire more males, allowing his true family to grow. Being loyal and honorable, Declan did as was expected despite Colin's intentions of someday pushing the misfits, Declan and Lennox, out of the family.

But Declan remembered the first day he was sent into the world in search of a human woman. When he first saw her, he saw nothing that interested him. She appeared as plain as all of the other humans, dull and young and as nothing more than walking blood receptacles. He did not know how he was expected to find any of these expendable people even remotely appealing.

But he did watch her. Lena was the only girl in the group who sat still, who talked calmly. Her sly, easy smile grew when people were not watching her, which was not the case for the rest.

Though she was awkward, far less graceful than she was today, something about her air made people gravitate toward her.

And she looked at him.

Directly in the eyes, unflinching, no hint of fright, Lena looked at Declan.

Her eyes were hazel then, and reflected the colors she was wearing or the hue of her surroundings. Her shirt was white that first afternoon, but the grass all around her was vibrant green, lush in the mid-spring sun. Her eyes reflected that deep green.

Declan could see it as if it were happening all over again. Looking at Lena now, with her pale blue eyes cast to the ground and no smile on her cold, controlled face, Declan felt the wave of shame, the same wave he had felt countless times before.

She had been radiant then, warm and bright and fearless. Back when her eyes were hazel.

He had taken that from her, doomed her to the shell of a life she had led since that day. Every inch of him regretted the decision. No matter the reason behind it, no matter the selfish joy he had felt at the prospect of spending eternity with her radiance by his side, he should have resisted.

Declan shook his head slightly and pushed his shame away. Not sure what he was there to do, he had to focus on getting her alone. He could not knock her over the head and drag her back to the Castle.

Though, at that moment, it was Declan who was not ready to speak with her. He was losing his control. It had to be reeled in.

But he did have to warn her at the very least. He knew it would not be long before Colin and the others found her. It had been beyond easy for him, since Declan remembered her from before.

This campus had been her campus, this college, her college. For two years. The park where he had met her after her classes were through was only blocks away, and her vampire blood was dried on a big, dented oak tree not far from the highway off ramp. A trail of her blood led to an apartment. It was not difficult to follow her from there, to a dumpster, to a hospital, to a bench in a school building, to a bar, and then to this house.

Yes, she would be easy to find for the others. A chill went through him. Declan did not know what Colin would do when she was found.

Especially if he found her like this.

Declan made his attention expand to the group of humans at her table. A human male sat beside her, whispered to her, made the edges of her mouth rise slightly. A human couple, a red haired male and a bronze-skinned female, sat across from his Lena. They were all talking, and looking at her, smiling at her, leaning into her, gravitating toward her like they did when Declan saw her for the first time.

Colin would not like it.

_Declan_ did not like it.

But the resemblance of this situation to when he had first seen her kept him staring, studying, searching for an explanation. Even though Declan knew Lena's affect on people before he changed her, he did not realize she retained that ability now.

And realizing this enraged him.

**

It was easy. So very easy to be with these humans.

Will sat shockingly close to my right arm. Julia and Spencer sat directly across from us. We sat at a kitchen table and chairs they pulled outside to the front lawn because the night was warm and the humidity had disappeared after the short rainstorm. Many other little parties could be heard down the street. Everyone was so happy.

And watching them be happy made me happy.

I wondered what it meant, that this was not hard for me, and not scary for any of them. Did Colin really lie about how humans reacted to vampires? That would be like him, to make up the perfect lie to keep a young vampire imprisoned in his ridiculous Castle. He said humans were instinctively scared when coming face to face with a vampire, like they would feel being close to any predator.

The story went, hundreds of years ago, man-like creatures hunted across the countryside, feeding on anyone who crossed their path. No one knew where they originated or how the species came to be, but they did exist. Ancient folklore and the world's continuing interest in the concept could attest to that.

They did not hunt in packs, or live in families like we did now. The creatures were mostly animal then, relying more on instinct than anything else. Until one of their victims rose from the dead. This is what they now call vampire.

This new creature was clever, planned how to attack, became a leader among others like them. He—I assume it was male—figured out the secret to making others like himself, and the small population of the species grew. They caused mass hysteria wherever they were spotted, tore towns apart and were not careful about who saw them.

It wasn't long before the humans went searching for the coven, successfully killing only the old creatures that had not yet evolved. The new creatures, the vampires, proved much harder to kill. They were too strong for humans to defeat, and even if a person were lucky, their weapons did no damage. The vampires healed and kept fighting.

Centuries passed and vampires evolved, but so did the humans. Four particularly powerful vampires understood the changing way of the world, and the wisest of them could see the humans were gaining power and would soon find a way to dispose of their species.

The Four led groups loyal to them to different parts of the known world and went into hiding. It was the only way to avoid being destroyed.

At least, that was what I was told.

But as I sat here, seeing no fear in anyone's eyes, I had to wonder if the story was bull. It wasn't like we had vampire history books that I knew of. It could all be made up to provide an explanation for our curiosity. It didn't have to be true.

Yeah, that sounded like something the vampires I knew would do.

Maybe the entire story was another manipulative lie Colin cooked up to keep me in line.

Why did he hate me so much? The feeling was mutual, but still. He and Declan were close, like brothers. Maybe he hated me because I couldn't love Declan. But it seemed to go deeper than that.

Hell, maybe it was my hatred for him. I didn't exactly hide that I couldn't stand the pompous jerk.

Whatever the reason, I was here now. Being among these humans felt pretty good. Mostly.

The two bites of cheeseburger from the afternoon hadn't budged in the pit of my stomach. It still felt like two pinecones lodged in my guts.

I ignored the discomfort. That might be the best part about being a vampire. Mind over body.

Spencer, as he talked to Will, leaned over for no discernable reason and kissed Julia's forehead. She took his hand, and squeezed.

Watching them was strange. They looked absolutely nothing like each other. In my limited existence, partners looked alike. I thought that had something to do with the siring process, and that humans, when turned, changed to look more like their sire.

Spencer was tall and strong and pale with flaming red hair. The complete opposite of Julia's petite frame and her dark hair and skin. She was probably of a Middle Eastern descent, I thought, while he was probably Scottish.

This made their relationship fascinating.

They were together because they wanted to be, not because they were forced to be. They didn't have to spend forever together if they didn't want to. Knowing this made it all the more beautiful that they chose to stay together.

A glistening diamond that was a little too big for Julia's fourth finger on her golden-brown, left hand bound them together. But a ring was not a mansion with locked doors and shaded windows. If she wanted, all Julia had to do was slip it off her thin finger.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Julia asked me, and I looked up from her finger to her face.

All three of the humans looked better than before. Julia had the most noticeable transformation since earlier that afternoon. The dark circles were gone from her eyes. Her hair was sleek and shining. The subtlety of the make-up on her face enhanced her natural beauty. When I first saw her, I thought she was rather plain. But she was a true beauty now that she was rested.

"Yes," I replied, hardly remembering what she had said to me because I was lost in the exotic loveliness of her brown eyes.

"We haven't set a date yet. No hurry, of course. But I always liked the idea of an autumn wedding. You know, in the park with leaves at our feet."

"It sounds lovely," I said to Julia as I tried to figure out what the look on Spencer's face meant. I asked him, "How long have you been together?"

With this, his eyes lit and I understood the look he had. Spencer didn't care at all about the wedding. But he cared for Julia.

"Four years," he said with a big, goofy smile. "We've all known each other since freshman year."

Thanks to Declan's gifts of books, I knew what they were talking about. If it weren't for those, I probably wouldn't know what freshmen were. Or weddings.

"You're like—" I began, but paused. "Family."

If I were human, I'd be embarrassed for my lack of understanding. To me, they were family, like my vampire family. But humans had real families. Parents and siblings. I was aware of that, but couldn't really understand it.

"Exactly," Will took a swig of his drink and brushed his arm against mine.

It tingled.

"Dude!" a loud boy bellowed from the street and bounded toward us. He was athletic, and apparently liked to show off his muscles because he wasn't wearing a shirt.

His skin was decorated with a drawing on the inside part of his forearm, and I stared at it as the humans talked. It was a tiger, but made of thick, black lines. It appeared to be crawling up the under part of his arm. The tail ended at the base of his hand, intermingled with the prominent blue veins on his wrist.

The decorated boy whooped and woohooed so loudly it echoed down the street. It was clear the three humans at my table were annoyed by him and wanted him to go away. It was funny how obviously this was written on their faces, and I wondered how the annoying boy couldn't see it.

But I liked looking at the pictures on his skin. He had two more, an intricate, black knot encircling his considerable bicep and a circle encasing a colorful dragon on his back under the base of his neck.

He must have noticed me staring at his body and misunderstood my attention, because everyone was quiet as he looked me up and down.

"And who is this pretty little thing?" he asked with a grin I imagined he thought was appealing.

Will exhaled in a quiet huff and looked at me, "this is Lena."

"Well hello, Lee-nah," he exaggerated the syllables and made my name sound silly. "I'm Kyle."

The smell of several different kinds of alcohol wafted off him and he drank from a bottle curled up in his hand casually, like he was very used to it being there. A different smell, a seductively musk scent came off his body in hot waves.

"Hey, maybe you wanna go somewhere and get to know me a little better," he slurred. Was he still talking to me? Apparently, since he leaned in close to my face and breathed on me.

"Why don't you go ahead and I'll come find you," I said, flashing the boy a look that made him flinch back and nearly trip over his feet.

He wasn't sure how to take what I'd said. The look I'd given him was one I'd never used before, and I didn't know what it must have looked like to him. But his drunken arrogance seemed to assure him I was being serious.

"All right then, rock on," he woohooed again and slapped Spencer and Will's shoulders before bouncing off to annoy some other people, or to find a private place to meet me. Either way, everyone seemed relieved he was gone.

"I can't believe that worked," Julia giggled and leaned close to me. "You, like, have magic powers or something."

I felt the sides of my mouth lift a little, "happy to help."

The conversation returned to whatever they had been talking about before the annoying boy interrupted. I again wasn't listening to the words, but to the flow of their voices and the subtly of their movements.

I liked them all very much. Spencer was playful but with integrity, which reminded me of Lennox in a way. Though he was drinking alcohol, he was in no way loud and obnoxious like the other boy. Julia was encouraging and knew the boys better than they knew themselves. Will was careful not to invade my space. He was as honest as his face indicated, and his affection for his friends made him sort of glow.

They all had something many of the other humans I could see didn't seem to have. I didn't know what it was exactly, but suspected it had something to do with how well they knew, trusted, and cared about each other.

I wanted to stay with them, observing their interactions and getting to know what humans were really like, but I felt a pull on my body. It wasn't something I'd ever felt before, but it was distinct.

I would have to pick my moment.

I would have to be sneaky.

But the feeling would be obeyed.

# CHAPTER 8

I knew what I was doing.

As much as I wished it weren't true. As much as I hated what was happening. As much as I wanted to believe it was out of my control, I knew what was going on.

And I let it happen.

The black tiger on his forearm crawled away from me, but the end of its tail was hidden under my mouth where I bit the boy.

His blood was incredible. It reminded me of warm butterscotch, thick and sticky and salty but sickeningly sweet as I drew it into me from his wrist.

I was pretty sure butterscotch didn't actually taste like blood, but my fractured memory remembered it that way now.

My fully extended fangs hovered halfway inside the holes they'd made in his hot skin as I drank deeply. I'd never felt so warm, so awake, so alive.

The irony did not escape me.

And with the warmth came disgust. Such an intense sense of satisfaction accompanied by an equally intense sense of hatred for who I was, what I was, what I was doing. But this did not stop me.

As I drank, I thought about the encased dragon at the base of his neck. Oh, how I would enjoy sinking my teeth into it. But the neck felt so intimate. Practically romantic. Biting his wrist had allowed me to keep my distance, and kept us from touching much.

It was practical.

Only I would care to consider being practical while drinking the blood of an intoxicated human. Why do I have to be so weird?

He was very drunk and I was starting to be able to taste the alcohol in his blood. The annoying boy swayed with eyes half open, watching me. He wasn't sure what was going on, locked in a drunken stupor of stupidity. Part of him was excited, the other part scared.

Idiot human, I could drain you if I wanted.

It would be easy, and he would stand there like a moron watching as I murdered him, part of him scared, the other part aroused until he lost consciousness.

So easy...

...so very easy...

With great effort, I wrapped my fingers around his arm and pulled his wrist from my mouth.

I could have drained him. Yet I'd only taken enough to satisfy my hunger. The boy would probably pass out from weakness and alcohol. In the morning, the puncture wounds on his wrist would ache, and the boy wouldn't understand where they came from. But he would be alive.

"Hey, Lena, are you back here?" Will's cool voice tingled my ears.

Uh oh.

Maybe if I stayed still, he wouldn't be able to find me. I was sneaky after all. And a vampire. Surely I could go undetected by one measly human. But I couldn't manage to focus.

"There you are," his voice chimed.

The annoying boy picked that moment to pass out and crumble to the ground.

Figures.

And his wrist flopped into the light, remaining pools of blood filling the two punctures and shinning in the dim light above.

Will stared down at him, his telling face trying to work out what he was seeing. The boy was breathing, he had to see that. Yes, sure, there were conspicuous puncture wounds on his wrist and he looked rather pale, but none of that screamed vampire.

But then he looked at my face, and he knew. My fangs were still fully extended, still taut from the delicious drink. Warm, sticky butterscotch. Mmm...

I closed my mouth and looked away. If I were human, I would have looked ashamed.

"What are—?" he began.

_Vampire_ , my brain screamed, and I think he heard it. His eyes grew wide and he took a step away. His heart rate quickened, but he didn't tremble and his breathing stayed calm. There was no smell of fear on him.

"You're a vampire," he said quietly, probably too quietly for a human to hear, but this occurred to me too late.

"How do you know?" I replied, then shook my head at my own idiocy. Denial was not a talent I possessed.

Will shook his head back and forth, his face pinched into a confused scrunch.

"Is—" I began, but wasn't sure what I was going to ask until the stupid words left my mouth. "Is that okay?"

And his self-control broke.

"What? Is it okay? No! It is not okay, Lena. _Not_ okay. I knew it. I knew it when I found you under that tree. You're a crazy person. A nut job. How'd you do that?" he pointed at the boy's wrist. The blood was still glistening. "A knife? Ice pick? Great! Gorgeous Ice Pick Vampire Murderer, news at eleven."

He cupped his hand around the side of his mouth to announce the last part. I was grateful everyone in the house was drunk and mostly passed out.

I had wisely waited until the party wound down to begin my hunt.

"Is he a friend of yours?" I asked, not sure what the right thing to say would be. They didn't seem friendly before, but human relationships maybe complicated.

"No, he's a douche." Will looked down at the lump on the ground. "But that is so not the point. Is he dead?"

"No, I didn't kill him, see? He'll be fine in the morning. Hungover, and sore, but that was going to happen anyway. And I didn't take much. I stopped myself. He's fine. I didn't mean to feed on anyone. Honest. I thought I had it under control and then I saw him and...and it got away from me. Please don't be mad. You've been so nice to me. I'd hate to have made you angry."

Will stared at me with his lips slightly parted, "That's the most I've heard you say all day."

I couldn't understand his expression. He was shocked, but also curious. I didn't think he believed what I was. How could he ignore my extended canines?

Wait, what was I thinking? I shouldn't _want_ him to know the truth.

It was possible he still thought I was crazy. There was hope in that. Either way, he didn't run away, but he didn't let me get any closer to him either.

"I apologize for what I've done. This human will be fine in the morning, I promise," I said, then tilted my head down at the tiger growling up at me. "Though, he might be suspicious."

Will looked down too and I thought he understood what I meant. There were two distinct holes on his wrist, way too deep to be made in play.

"I think I can do something about that," Will whispered in a slightly strange tone and motioned for me to follow. I obeyed without a look back at the boy on the floor.

As he led me through the house, I couldn't even remember how I had gotten to the kitchen where the annoying boy had been. I had no memory of the inside of the house at all.

That was creepy.

The house smelled of cinnamon and fresh cut grass. Colin's Castle was immaculate. And smelled like smoke and stones. Not exactly homey and inviting. There wasn't much on the walls and the furniture wasn't where I thought it ought to have been. Then again, there had been a party here. Humans, it seemed, were very messy.

I was learning so much. I hoped this incident wouldn't be the end of my exploration.

"Hey guys," Will hollered to Spencer and Julia, who were lounging on the front porch looking like they were ready to fall asleep there. "We're gonna head out."

Will glanced at my eyes, and I hoped my face had an encouraging, harmless, grateful expression. Then he looked down at my mouth, and I forced my lips together so no one else would see my fangs.

"Hey, we saw Kyle passed out in the kitchen, and I think he took a barbeque fork or something to his wrist. Might wanna check on him."

He said it so casually I was shocked he could lie so effectively. His honest face didn't falter even a little.

Julie and Spencer nodded and did not look surprised as they slowly made their way from the porch into the house.

Over her shoulder, Julie smiled. "It was great meeting you, Lena. We hope to see more of you."

I thought I managed a pursed-lipped smile, but gave her a wave also to make sure. Spencer shot me a sweet grin over his shoulder too, then put his arm around Julia's waist. He had to bend down a little to reach it.

"Kyle's done weird stuff to himself before. I think that takes care of the suspicion problem. If he asks, they'll have an answer for him tomorrow and that'll take care of that."

I felt the urge to touch Will, put my hand on his arm and thank him, and reassure him. I really wasn't evil. But I didn't think telling him would be enough. He had to be curious. Maybe being able to ask me questions would make him feel better. And would prove I wasn't going to hurt him.

"Would you like to go somewhere to talk?"

He nervously laughed. "About what?"

"You have questions."

Will didn't say anything for almost a minute, and I let him think in peace. After all, I hated being pushed into doing things and being told what to do. Everyone I met deserved the same courtesy, if they treated me well.

And Will definitely did.

I really should have been nicer to him, paid more attention, and shown my appreciation better, like a human would.

"Yeah, I have questions. We'll go to my place," and he looked around and we changed course.

But he stopped and turned to me. "First I have to ask. Are you going to kill me?"

"No. You'll be safe."

"Have you ever killed anyone?"

"Never."

"And you're a vampire."

"Yes."

"And that's the truth? Vampire. Like, Dracula, blood-sucking, creature of the night vampire?"

"Um...I guess."

"But you won't bite me."

"No."

"How can I be sure?"

I stared at him, confused. What did he expect? What could I do to reassure him? There was nothing.

"All I have is my word," I said and he nodded, not looking satisfied. So I added, "and now I'm full."

His lip curled for a second, but he turned and walked in the direction of his apartment. I guessed that was convincing.

This was going to be interesting.

**

She smelled of human blood. Fresh, human blood. And it was not from the human walking next to her.

Declan was not sure if that was any kind of relief.

That human, the male Declan saw his Lena with most of the day, sweated and smelled of barley and hops. He looked rather shocked, sticky and paler than before, and a little uneasy with how close he was to her. His brown eyes hardly blinked.

He knows, Declan realized.

Every one of Colin's careful, overprotective rules had been defied. Lena left the Castle, fed on a living human, and told another human of their existence. Declan was not sure there was a way to hide any of it. Could he save her now?

Yes, of course he could. He could warn her, urge her to run, to escape. He could teach her how to hide from other vampires, blend in, burrow her head in the ground and survive. She had the skills. She had to learn to use them.

But he knew she would not listen. Not his Lena. She would not hear a word he told her for resentment and anger. Nothing would stand in Lena's way. Especially not Declan. Consort or not, Lena could never accept him as hers. Would never.

Everything was strangling him. His memories, his laments. The truth of her existence, the steps that brought them to this time and place. Declan found it difficult to take air into his lungs. His strong, controlled body ached and trembled like he did not know it could.

If he were human, he would vomit. Or cry. Or something dramatic and unexpected. But, as a vampire, he showed more emotion, more distress and turmoil than possibly he ever had before.

Except for that first night. After she awoke. How she was different. How she was gone.

Yes, that had been the worst day, the worst memory of his long existence.

After that day, all he did was fail. Declan could not keep Lena happy. He had not been able to keep her safe or informed or loved properly.

If there were a personal hell designed for Declan's custom-made torture, he would replay that first day for eternity. Knowing what the outcome would be.

Perhaps that was what he deserved.

He could not let Lena see him like this. He had to regain his control. He had to focus.

Because she had to be warned. And protected.

Though the thoughts were there, the conviction was not behind them as it once was. Declan was not convinced Lena needed him.

She had made it this far without him, and seemed content.

Yes, she broke the rules. But only Declan knew. If he left her alone, convinced Colin to forget her, perhaps she could make a home for herself here.

No. Colin would not allow it.

And Declan could not bear the thought of it.

So he followed amongst the shadows, hidden from Lena's sight. For the moment.

# CHAPTER 9

"Wow, your teeth are, like, an inch long," Will stared at my fangs and I couldn't shake the idea of someone putting his head inside a crocodile's mouth.

They should have retracted by now, but the taste of the annoying boy's blood still lingered on my tongue.

Will added, still leaning toward me, staring into my mouth, "It's bizarre."

We sat on opposite ends of his bed. Will appeared far less scared of me now than when we left his friend's house. I didn't know why he felt safe enough to be in the room with me, or not on the other side of it at least. But he seemed more interested than freaked out. And he was smiling again.

"Why?" I asked in response to his comments about my fangs, folding my hands on my lap and very conscious of my canines finally getting smaller. Apparently if I thought about it, I could make them retract. Who knew!

"I dunno. They just...come out? When you're hungry?"

"When I eat and after eating. Yes."

"What about when you _think_ about eating?"

I tilted my head and thought about the boy's butterscotch blood, how warm and satisfying it had been. It still tingled my tongue and made my insides buzz.

Will gawked at me. He'd watched my fangs extend.

"What?" I snapped, and he closed his mouth and forced his eyes up to mine instead of on my mouth.

"Sorry, it's just weird."

"Is it? Your eyes dilate when you're afraid or attracted to someone. Your mouth salivates when you smell food. How is this any different?"

I've spent years having this conversation with myself. Everything Will was going to ask, I'd already planned the answer. All of my years of desperately seeking solitude gave me time to give a great deal of thought to what I was.

"Are you telepathic? Can you hypnotize people? Make them do your bidding?" he asked, excitedly. But each of his enthusiastic questions had an underlying hint of dread.

I shook my head. "No bug-eaters for me."

"What about crosses?"

"Colin has crucifixes and stuff in the mansion, so I don't think they do anything."

"Who's Colin?" Will asked, his interest piqued.

"The head of my family," I answered quickly.

I didn't want to talk about them. Thankfully Will let the topic go.

"And you can go out in the sun."

"Yes, you saw me. I think most vampires prefer nighttime though."

"But you're so pale," he laughed.

"Just because we _can_ go out in the sun doesn't mean it's a smart thing to do."

I considered adding that I didn't think dead things tan anyway, but I thought it sounded like too much for him. The walking dead thing was pretty creepy.

"Can you fly?" He was getting excited at the possibility when he should have been more scared. It was better he wasn't freaked out too much. I wouldn't be here if he was afraid.

"We're made up of the same stuff you are. We can't defy the laws of physics."

"Except you don't die," he said severely. "Silver, garlic, all that other stuff?"

"I think it is all wishful thinking. Humans want to believe there's something they can do to keep us away. People don't like feeling powerless, even if they are."

"So you don't have to be invited in then?" Will looked around his apartment and shook his head, his ears turning red.

I shook my head slowly.

"The truth is, only other vampires are strong enough to bring vampires down. Even if humans could contain us, they'd find it hard to kill us."

Will remained quiet, his gaze back on my face, but his mind far away.

I looked around the room for the first time. Earlier that day, I had been too confused, too unsure and anxious to really look around. Now I could take it in. The apartment was small with wood floors and old, worn furniture. Nothing matched. The couch was green and the chair was speckled brown. The bed we sat on stretched along the far wall and had dark blue sheets and a dark blue comforter. Over that, underneath Will, was an old blanket that looked like someone made with their hands. It was the first thing I felt when I awoke that afternoon. It still had a few specks of my blood on it.

So did the wood floor.

Other than my blood, it smelled like honeysuckle, soap, and leather.

"So what _is_ true then?" Will finally said, and I focused my attention back on him.

I gave him an exaggerated shrug. "Drink blood, live forever, fast and strong."

I kept the tone light, or what I thought was light. It didn't have to be a scary thing. And despite what Colin insisted, I couldn't see the harm in telling Will about us. He was a trustworthy human. He obviously didn't want to hunt us down and murder us. He was curious, and I couldn't blame him.

"So, are you, like, two hundred years old or something?"

"Most vampires are even older than that. New vampires are only made under certain circumstances." The sugar coated version was kind of nice. "I am a young vampire."

"How old?"

"I spent twenty years as a human, and twenty years as a vampire. That is all."

"What were the circumstances for you to be...um...transformed? Changed? Uh...vampirized?"

Some things needed to remain private. Will didn't need to know about sires and consorts and the sick, twisted way a male chose his female. I didn't know much about it, and what I did know, I wished I didn't.

"We usually say "turned". Another vampire has to _turn_ you," I said, not answering his question.

"Then who _turned_ you? Are they still around? Where do you live? Do you live with lots of other vampires?"

I put up my hand to silence him. I couldn't answer the personal questions. Anything about vampires in general, fine, bring it on. But I didn't want to think of my family. I didn't want to have to explain those things.

Will seemed to understand, and changed his questions.

"Can you be hurt?" he asked, but then shook his head. "Of course you can. You were all cut up when I found you around that tree."

"Yes—" I began, but he interrupted excitedly.

"You said vampires can kill other vampires. How?"

Did he really need to know that? If he ever had to face a vampire, a _normal_ vampire, he'd be dead before he could remember what I told him.

In that case, it wouldn't do any harm to tell him.

"Truthfully, we can die in most of the ways you can. It's just a lot more difficult."

"You heal, right? Like, you were all cut up before and then you got out of the shower and all of your cuts were gone." He drew his eyebrows in and thought for a moment, "wonder why I didn't realize something was weird before."

"I thought you did realize, but it was better that you said nothing. Spencer and Julia can never know. _You_ shouldn't know."

"Are you gonna get in trouble?" he asked, and I felt like laughing.

But then I thought about it. I would get into trouble, already was in trouble really, but I didn't care about that. If the others came to find me, and found me here, Will might get hurt because of me. _Will_ was in trouble.

Idiotic young vampires can be so selfish.

"I'm afraid I may have brought something bad into your life. I have a family, and they will try to find me. Probably are already on their way. See, I'm not supposed to be around humans. No vampire is."

"How can you avoid it? People are everywhere," Will asked.

"We have a home that we don't leave. Avoiding humans is the easy part."

He didn't understand. I wasn't explaining it very well, but it was for the best. Will didn't need to know the details. But there were some things he deserved to know.

"If they find me here...if they found out what you know..."

"What would they do, try to turn me into one of them?" Will asked. He thought it was a joke, and his eyes looked interested rather than afraid.

"The life of a vampire is not what the books make it look like. You wouldn't want to be turned."

"It sounds pretty great to me," Will laughed.

Leaning in so his warm breath tickled my cold face, I whispered, "It sucks. You'd hate it."

" _Sucks_ ," he giggled. "Or...or _bites_!"

I grinned as he amused himself. I couldn't tell if he was making jokes because he was nervous, or if his earlier concern about me possibly killing him was completely gone. Either way, it was nice to see him laugh.

Eventually, he asked, "But why does it suck?"

"Okay, let's see if I can explain." Exactly what is my deepest problem with being a vampire? "All right, how about this? What are your favorite things? Little things, I mean, like the parts of your life that make it worth living."

"Wow...that's heavy."

I laughed, and it surprised me. I didn't know I could do that.

"You're having a discussion about life with a dead, fictional creature. Yes, it's heavy."

Will laughed for a few seconds and then shrugged, "I'm not sure how to answer the question. You mean, like food and stuff?"

I shook my head. He didn't get it, and I didn't think I knew how to explain. Maybe humans didn't appreciate the minor parts of life until they were gone. I wasn't even sure I knew fully why my memories meant so much to me. I just knew they did.

But I still wanted him to understand my point.

"Okay, I'll try to explain it. After a long day of work and school, when nothing's gone right and all you want to do is something that makes you feel better, what do you do?"

"Well—" Will looked away from me and drew in his brows. "I go over to Spencer and Julia's, swipe beer from their fridge, watch reruns on their TV, and take a nap on their couch. No visitors, no cell phone, no computer. I just...relax."

"Okay," I nodded my approval. "As a vampire, you wouldn't be allowed to know your friends anymore. You wouldn't even remember them. Beer, TV, relaxing? They don't exist in our world."

Will tilted his head to one side and I watched the expression on his face change as he considered what life would be like without the things he enjoyed. I suspected the idea of never seeing his friends again was the part that made him understand.

"No," he said, conviction on his face. "I wouldn't want to be turned into a vampire."

"In my world, you aren't given a choice."

"In your world?" Will asked, looking at me again, ignoring the truth in what I'd let slip. "You know there's only one world."

"Technically..." I began, but felt something tug on my insides. It wasn't like the mindless pull that led me to the annoying boy in the kitchen. It was clearer. I understood what I needed to do, and obeyed the pull immediately.

I got off the bed and walked out the door without another word to Will, without even looking back at him.

If what I felt meant what I thought, he should stay in the safety of his apartment.

I should have said the words, told him not to follow, but I was too focused and fascinated about the certainty of what I was feeling.

Someone was calling for me.

**

I felt her before I saw her. She stood across the dark street on the edge of the park, watching me.

The unexplainable connection our family shared surprised me only because I'd never felt it before. We were always together, always under Colin's roof. We'd never been apart in order for me to feel the draw between us.

It was base, primal, familial. Maybe a little disturbing.

But it wasn't Colin, it wasn't Viola or Henry or even Declan. It was Annabelle. Anyone else and I'd already be gone, sprinting toward the horizon, disappearing with a plan to hide. But it was her.

Across the dark street, I focused on her as she stepped away from the shadows. Slender and petite, with long, shining blonde hair pulled up into a soft nest on top of her head, as usual. The big, pale blue eyes of my family. The low and slow heartbeat that was much slower than mine.

She must have been younger than me when she was turned. Back then, whenever that would have been, everyone was turned young because so many people didn't live past their teenage years. I would have been considered middle aged back when she was still human. Annabelle told me that once. I'd asked if there were any vampires who were turned late in life, when they were old and wrinkled. There weren't.

Her grace was disarming even to me. She glided with ease but took her time, something I seemed to have trouble with.

She would pass for human, I thought, far easier than I ever could, except for her clothes. Or lack thereof.

White, soft fabric draped over her front and danced freely in her wake. If anyone stood behind her, they'd be getting quite a show.

She didn't speak when she reached me, didn't hug me, didn't show acceptance or disapproval. She stared, and I stared back. It was good to see her, and I felt the small smile on my lips.

I wondered if it was as strange for her to see as it was for me to feel.

"How did you find me so quickly?" I asked, neither of us blinking.

"Your blood is all over this town," Annabelle said in a whisper.

Staring into her pale blue eyes that looked almost like mine, I strangely wished they were really the same. I had no idea why, but I thought it would be comforting, in a way, if there weren't the slight difference around my iris.

I blamed Declan.

I realized, though, that the others coming to find me didn't fill me with the sense of dread I thought it would. They really were my family. My dysfunctional, creature of the night family I couldn't stand to be around. But family nonetheless.

That didn't mean I wanted to bring their wrath upon these humans, however.

"How far behind are they?"

"Maybe a day. Colin doesn't yet know where you are and will choose to travel only by the veil of night. The old way."

I squinted to prevent an involuntary eye roll and said dryly, "Big surprise."

"Hush," Annabelle whispered. She was always on my case for not showing Colin my respect. As if he had any right to get it.

"Lena, wait up," his voice broke through the calm in the building behind me. It was incredible how I felt his reaction to seeing Annabelle almost the moment he felt it. For a second, I thought he was stunned by her beauty. After all, she was a goddess in a white, satin sheet and nothing else. But that wasn't it.

As I turned, he held out his hand, beckoning me to get away from the monster he saw in his eyes.

"What does she look like to you?" I asked, knowing it wasn't the right time but not being able to stop my curiosity.

Looking at Will's wild eyes, then back at Annabelle's, I realized there was something out of place in her expression as well.

"Lena," his voice trembled, "can you take a few steps back?"

I repeated, "What does she look like to you?"

He had goose bumps on his arms and trembled. Straining his face to force himself to speak, he looked at me in a way that resembled pleading. But he answered.

"Like a hungry...monster." He looked away from her face and kept his eyes focused on the ground.

"I'm not here for food," Annabelle said softly, but her words did not put him at ease. The sound of her voice made him shudder.

"What does _she_ look like to you?" Annabelle asked, the strange expression on her face again.

Will's mouth hung open, but again he managed to force some words out. He looked up from the ground, stared into my face, and inhaled a long, deliberate breath.

"Beautiful."

Annabelle's trademark, stoic expression broke with that one word. Grabbing my wrist, she yanked me towards her and put her other hand so hard onto my face, at first I thought she'd slapped me. But she held my face in her hands as a jumble of words flowed from her mouth.

"What have you been doing with this human? How did you get out of the Castle? What happened when you left? Colin is furious. He could have us all killed. He will _probably_ have us all killed. What were you thinking? How did you survive this long without us to take care of you? What have you been eating? How can this human stand being near you?"

"Annabelle," I began, but she shook my head with her hand.

The vibrations of Will's thumping heart I must have gotten used to at some point snuck up on me. I didn't realize where he was until he touched me.

"That's enough," he yelled as he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me towards him.

Though his strength didn't stand a chance against Annabelle's, Will's closeness, and willingness to defend me despite how scared he obviously was seemed to make an impression on her.

As Annabelle let go, I allowed myself to fall back into Will's arms, rewarding him the satisfaction of truly saving me. He deserved it. Even if I didn't really need saving.

It felt good to be so close to someone, to feel our bodies pressed together, his warmth surrounding me. I had no memory of the feeling of closeness. It was nice.

"She will not hurt me," I said when he let me go. "And she will not hurt you either. She won't hurt anyone."

Could I be so sure? No. But the blood in his veins started to pump a little slower, which was good because I could only imagine how appetizing it sounded to Annabelle.

Oh, right, I didn't have to imagine. I dismissed the thought of butterscotch as quickly as I could. My fangs hardly even extended. Good job, me.

"Annabelle, this is Will. Will? Annabelle."

He whispered in my ear, not as a question, "and she's like you?"

"Lena!" she yelled. It set off two car alarms down the street.

Will cowered at my side, a bit behind me, which was funny since he'd kind of rescued me. On some level, even if he wanted to take care of me, he knew he was powerless against my kind. He knew I wasn't dangerous, and would protect him.

I could see why Annabelle thought there was something weird going on, considering how Will looked at her, and how he looked at me.

"Would you like to take a walk, Annabelle?" I said calmly. If she knew the circumstances, then she would not be so upset. I was sure of it.

Annabelle looked at me like I was losing my mind. It was a look I was familiar with. But she nodded once anyway and turned away.

"Would it be okay if I came back here when we're done?" I asked Will, who looked as though he wasn't sure what was going on. I wondered if he had even heard what I'd asked Annabelle through his fear. "We can continue our discussion."

He nodded, and wrapped his warm fingers around my right wrist briefly as he said, "be careful."

I felt the sides of my lips move up and I hoped he knew what that meant. Why did I have so much trouble telling him thank you?

Then he was gone, and Annabelle began to walk before I was by her side.

# CHAPTER 10

He followed far behind them, not trying hard to stay hidden anymore. Annabelle needed to know Declan was there. He could feel her presence from more than twenty miles away. Colin and the others still had not arrived. At least that was something to be thankful for.

Lena had tied the garments Annabelle had draped over her body for modesty. It was humorous to him how conscious Lena was of human customs. She always had been.

But Declan's mind was soon far away again, where it was slowly traveling all day. Twenty years of denying his thoughts to dwell on the past had caught up to him. Everything he repressed came flooding in, and the memories hurt and soothed all at once.

He saw her for the first time a month before she turned seventeen, Declan learned later. Already more self-assured than most, Declan became fascinated by her, enchanted by her affect on others, long before he felt those affects himself.

Like humans and vampires alike, Lena was not without her faults. Naïve and trusting, as nothing in her life had gone wrong yet and no one had treated her too unkindly, she was overly honest with her feelings and her opinions. Age taught people to be guarded with their thoughts, something Declan learned many times over, a long time ago. Lena saw the best in everyone, focused only on their best qualities, no matter how few those qualities might have been.

He remembered she was wearing light purple, and her warm, hazel eyes reflected violet. It would come to be his favorite color on her, most likely because it was how she looked when he first knew.

Declan felt a stab inside himself as he watched Lena looking almost human as she strolled with Annabelle so slowly. But only almost human.

Sure, he had watched her from afar before they met, was entranced by her life and wondered who she was, but the thought of picking a mate, any mate, still held no appeal. This was nearly two months after he left Colin and the others. Luckily, there was no time limit on this quest. Declan was free to take as long as he desired to find the human he most wanted to make his companion. After all, time meant little to someone who would live forever.

Declan knew there was no rush. The sense of urgency was his own making. He wanted to return to Colin's side, to his family as soon as possible. It was where he belonged. Lurking among the humans, trying to find something, anything enticing in any of them beyond their blood felt disgusting.

The day inevitably came when Declan was ready to give up, ready to forget about wasting his time in such an egocentric, fruitless manner. He considered grabbing any human female he came across. He was convinced whatever female he chose did not matter. They were all the same, and would never, _could_ never excite him.

But then Declan met her.

"I keep seeing you," were Lena's first words to him.

She had gotten up from her picnic table where she often gathered with her many friends outside her school for lunch on sunny days. Declan had seen her more than a dozen times by then, though she had only seen him on a few of those occasions. Never had he imagined a human would be so foolish, so fearless, as to walk straight up to him.

Never had he imagined a human could detect where he was, since his ability of stealth was so great.

Declan wore sunglasses, but slid them off slowly as he studied her. He felt it then, peering deep into her eyes reflecting violet. He felt the subtle pull to be near her, and how something about her made him feel like he was capable of greatness.

"What is your name?" was all Declan could manage. He thought the sound of his voice would frighten her, or the strange color of his eyes, or perhaps the swift gracefulness of his clearly inhuman movements.

She smiled instead, her warm, incandescent smile. "I'm Lena," she replied, taking a step closer to him.

To his surprise, he did not want to sink his teeth into her neck. Her smooth, tanned, little neck. The thought of seeing her dead in his arms, cold and empty made him hate himself a little, for the first time.

Declan never bothered contemplating what he was. He was a vampire and that was enough of a definition for him. He drank blood, he honored his Master, he followed the rules. That was the way of things.

But the brief image in his head, the fleeting thought of a reality that was always a possibility because he was a predator, and she was just a human, sent a tremor of self-loathing through Declan's body. He was an evil monster, but only in that moment.

_You may be a monster_ , her voice rang in his head, _but you don't have to be evil._

He did not believe that was when he first heard those words. Important memories about important people often blended together. Time did not matter. Feeling something at all was momentous

Now, in the tranquility of the empty campus and the still, night sky, he certainly felt something. So many terrible things. Remorse, regret, self-hatred.

And he hated Lena for what she had become, for what she allowed him to take from her. It was misplaced resentment, but Declan's hatred of himself was so great, it spilled out onto those around him.

Possibly he hated Colin most. After all, had he not been the real cause of all this heartache, in the end? Declan did not correct himself this time. Though Colin was his Master, Declan felt little desire to give him the benefit of the doubt. He could see what Colin had done, who he really was.

Colin truly was an evil monster.

At that moment, Declan felt a familiar presence from far away. He travelled slowly, and the waning moon would keep him at bay awhile longer. But Declan knew Colin could sense him as he could sense Colin.

He had let his guard down. He had not been focusing. And now Colin would be on his way.

Declan being there was his Master's beacon. There was no more searching necessary.

And Colin was enraged indeed.

**

I tried my best to match Annabelle's casual, practically human pace as we aimlessly walked along the campus sidewalks. She was so good at acting human. Now with her satin sheet looking more like a dress, she could have been any student here and no one would know.

At least that was how it looked to me. I knew better now. Will's reaction to seeing my sister confirmed what Colin had told me. Humans were afraid of vampires upon first sight. Just not me.

"I'm afraid to tell you what I need to tell you, little one."

I didn't mean to laugh, but hearing Annabelle say she was afraid of anything sounded like a joke. Plus, I liked laughing, now that I realized I could.

"You can tell me anything. We're family."

"In a way..." she said. But the way she said it didn't sound right.

She glanced at me expectantly, but my face must not have shown the understanding she hoped.

"I don't understand," I said unnecessarily, then wasn't sure that was the right thing to say. I was always reevaluating my words and myself around Annabelle. Because I respected her. Looked up to her. Even if I didn't want to be completely like her.

"There is so much you should know, and we have so little time. I am not even sure you should know any of this. It is not the way things are done. But," she trailed off for a second, her gaze far away, as if she were contemplating another time and place much different than here and now. "I care for you, and it is only right that you know some truths before you make any rash decisions."

"If this is about Will, I have no intention of making him like us. Even if I did, _which I don't_ , I don't even know how."

"Still, I feel you should know some things before Colin arrives, in case there's a choice."

Annabelle's tone probably would have sounded calm and easy to a human, but I could hear the strain behind her harmless words. If nothing else, this meant a lot to her.

"Okay," was all I could think to say.

We walked a few minutes in silence before Annabelle took in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. It kind of startled me.

"I suppose there is only one place to begin," she paused again, and I was starting to be concerned. What could possibly be this much of a secret? This private and unthinkable that it could ruffle even Annabelle's composure?

"Lennox is not my sire."

I blinked. What? I didn't know what to say. Part of me thought I heard her wrong, but the words repeated in my head. The more it repeated, the more I didn't understand.

"Colin wouldn't have gone against—"

"No, he would not. Colin is also not my sire. I am older than Colin by at least a century. Likely more."

My brain refused to wrap around it. Everything I thought I knew came into question. Was anything the truth?

"But...how?"

Annabelle shook her head, "I chose him."

On some level, I always suspected female vampires weren't capable of siring a human. Colin sure made it seem that way. But if Annabelle was telling the truth, and I didn't know why she wouldn't be, then that wasn't the case.

"Does this mean we're not...related?" It wasn't the right word. It wasn't even what I really wanted to ask. But I couldn't think of the word that would make sense, or of a better question to choose out of the hurricane in my mind.

"We are still family, but not by blood."

Though I felt myself nod mechanically, I wasn't sure what I felt. I didn't care about Annabelle less because she was not "related" to Colin. Actually, it made me respect her a little more. But why did we feel drawn to each other? How did I know she had been calling to me earlier? And why was she only telling me this now?

"I can see you are confused, little one. Perhaps I should start at the beginning."

"Please," I whispered.

We were at a soccer field and Annabelle led me to the metal bleachers and motioned for me to sit. She remained standing and faced me, but didn't look at me while she explained.

"I can only tell you the part pertaining to me. Understand, I cannot clarify any further than what I am about to tell you, so it is pointless to ask. I will not use names, and will not betray Colin's secrets."

I nodded, but made a mental note that Colin had some juicy secrets. I always knew he was a big fat liar.

And, by not using names, did that mean I knew who she was going to tell me secrets about?

"I was sired by one of the oldest vampires. I do not remember my human life, or the year. The first place I can remember being was Hungary, but we were always on the move. He was divine to me then, my savior, my king."

"But you love _Lennox_ ," I blurted, unable to believe Annabelle could have feelings for anyone other than her Lennox. They had a love all who believed in love would aspire to have. I sure wouldn't settle for anything less. I'd rather be alone for eternity than have anything less.

"Love," Annabelle's eyes danced with humor. "Such a human concept."

Staring at her, I wondered if she could feel my frustration. I didn't know why she was telling me this. It was upsetting to hear her even _suggest_ she did not love Lennox.

Lennox was the kindest of the family and considerably more interested in more than our insignificant existence. Sometimes Lennox and I would talk about the world, and the conversations would consist of only questions that we couldn't answer. Lennox was like my big brother. I knew his love and respect for Annabelle was eternal.

"My sire was powerful and admired similar power in others," she continued, ignoring my frustration if she noticed it at all. "He hoped I would inherit a great deal of his power and truly be worthy to rule at his side."

"But I did not develop the type of power he had hoped, so he chose a new, more promising mate and casted me aside. Understand, this was not something that happened then. Ever. It was a disgrace. I do not know how many times I begged him to kill me."

"I suppose, since I was his first, he harbored some affection for me. Otherwise he would have gotten rid of me immediately, like he ultimately did with his second...attempt."

"Eventually, he granted me a great honor. He pulled me aside, in secret, and said I could sire a consort for myself if I agreed to leave his house and join a new family, always keeping our history secret and always acting as if the human male I chose was my true sire."

Taking it all in, I nodded again. This made sense. Not the Annabelle being a sire part, not the Colin not being Lennox's sire part, but the part where the mystery vamp made her promise to keep it secret. Whoever he was, he believed the rules didn't apply to him. Even so, that didn't mean he wanted his family to know about it. Coward.

I'm not sure how long we were silent, wrapped up in our own thoughts. But when Annabelle spoke again, her tone was different. Even her expression looked more distant, almost wistful with affection, the way she sounded when talking to her partner.

"Then I happened upon him. Sure, Lennox was a human, but an attractive one. He was a farm boy in Italy, and he did his chores in the sweltering midday sun as if it did not affect him. If he tired, I never saw it. Yes, I enjoyed looking at him, watching him."

"I was aware how odd that was. Most humans looked the same to me, slow and uninteresting. But he was glorious. His eyes were blue then too, but deeper blue and his hair was brown, only parts made golden by the sun. His skin was tan and his body was solid with long, lean muscles like a man who worked hard every day of his life. I can still feel the heat of him..."

She'd forgotten I was there for a second. I could see it in her eyes. Looking suddenly away, I caught a glimpse of the look on her face. If she were human, she would be blushing. When she turned back, her appearance was severe, almost animalistic.

"I turned him the traditional way. I snuck into his bedroom and turned him there, in his parent's house, with his brothers and sisters in the next room. I stifled his screams and forced this life on him, hating myself for it, loathing myself for the first time. But I did not know any other way."

"He did not know what I was doing. Why would he? But he begged for the lives of his family as he died. Begged me not to hurt them too. I felt like the demon I was. I would not say I cared for him then. Infatuated, attracted, yes. He seemed to fear me more than anything for the first years. The first decade was..." she moved her head downward slightly. If she were human, there'd be tears in her eyes.

"It took him years to forgive me for what I took from him. But eventually he did forget."

I didn't have to ask. I heard what she said. I wasn't sure she meant to reveal the information, but Annabelle just told me that remembering your human life was typical. For every vampire. I wasn't some freak because I remembered parts of being human. I was normal.

Never would have guessed that.

"But it took me many more years to forgive myself. Perhaps I still have yet to. I've had to endure hundreds of years knowing what I had done, and how he saw me, what he thought of me."

Annabelle tilted her head down again, and the cadence to her words quickened.

"Just as Declan has had to endure the truth of your making, and you have had the luxury of forgetting. And you have hated him because of what you do _not_ understand."

I didn't know Annabelle thought I hated Declan. The thought of it sent a cold sensation down my spine.

"Give it time, little one. You will forget, and forgive. Please, do not be hasty with this human. If you turn him, there is no going back. Colin will bring Charles into it if you do, and Charles will kill you both mercilessly. And enjoy doing it."

"That's what all this was about? You're telling me to go back to Declan?"

"Yes," she said abruptly and was gone.

Annabelle left me there and walked into the night without another word. I should have known what she was doing all along. After all, she was just my protective sister telling me to come home.

**

"Hello, Declan," she said casually into the shadows.

Stepping into the light, Declan nodded, "hello, Annabelle."

"How long have you been skulking about?" she asked with a touch of joking.

Declan cast his eyes to the pitch black horizon. "Since one hour after she ran off."

"Does she know you are here?"

"No."

They walked together slowly, looking straight ahead. Declan was too preoccupied by his memories to say more, not that he and Annabelle had lengthy conversations as it was.

But Lena was all he could think of, and it was overwhelming. For years, he had perfected his ability to push the unwanted thoughts away. There was no point in remembering how Lena once was, because she was not that girl anymore. That was what he had told himself.

But the memory of himself standing at her door with a fistful of mismatched flowers he had picked out of gardens in town haunted him now. Oh, how he felt insecure and out of place. Declan had no idea how people behaved on dates. He could not quite believe he was about to take a human out on the town. It was absurd.

Declan remembered berating himself, and nearly talked himself out of seeing her. But then she opened the door, and the first thing she said was, "are you all right?"

How she could read his expressions, he did not know. Only vampires could read the subtleties within the controlled face, the cold eyes, the lifelessness of another vampire. But not only could Lena look at Declan and not be frightened, she actually saw him.

"They'll be here tomorrow," Annabelle offered up to the silence.

Declan ignored his thoughts for a moment to respond, "Yes, but not before dusk."

"Of course."

After their first date, Declan was enchanted by Lena in a way he had been convinced was impossible. After only a short time, their love was epic, mythic, and all-consuming. Declan could not understand why such a person like Lena would allow herself to love a creature like him. Even after she found out what he was, even after she was faced with the truth of their choices, she loved him. A stubborn, unyielding love that, no matter his protests, she refused to deny or let fade.

Declan found the more he was around her the more he wanted to be around her. It went beyond her unexplainable ability to make him feel like the best version of himself, even though that only intensified with the time they spent together.

He did not want to turn her and she did not want to be turned.

" _You will love me when I'm wrinkled and senile and can't even remember who you are?" she asked him one night._

" _I will."_

" _You will love me even though I get my entire life with you, but you only get a small part of your eternal life with me?"_

" _I will love you unconditionally until the day you leave this world. And on that day, you will know there is someone left on the Earth that will love you for all eternity. All of the years of my immortal life, Lena. I swear to that."_

Lena smiled her radiant, pure smile, nuzzled Declan's neck in the intimate way she always did.

" _Man am I gonna be one lucky old lady."_

The edges of Declan's lips rose slightly at the memory, and Annabelle could see his expression out of the corner of her eye. But she knew him well enough not to ask any questions.

"Will you talk to her before Colin's arrival?" Annabelle asked instead.

"Yes."

She stopped then at the abrupt, little word, turned to Declan and asked, "What will you tell her?"

The memories made his heart ache. They flooded in now like he was being haunted by them. The hot honey and human blood scent of her filled his head and intoxicated his thoughts.

" _I cannot make this decision for you. If I could, I would make it so there was no decision to make," he had told her._

" _But this is how life is. No one gets anything without paying a price. You were willing to stay with me during my short, little life and spend the rest of yours with nothing but memories. Declan, don't you see? This is my price."_

" _For what?"_

" _For getting to have you. For one day, or for eternity."_

Oh, how he missed who he was with her. He had been something worthy of her affection then. Sure, he was a monster, but he did not have to be evil.

"Declan," Annabelle whispered tentatively, then repeated, "What do you plan to tell her?"

He met Annabelle's eyes, and she was stricken by the force within him. It exuded off him with the last word he spoke before disappearing once again into the shadows.

"Everything."

# CHAPTER 11

Will sat dumbfounded in his apartment, staring at the floor waiting for Lena to return. He wasn't sure if he desperately wanted to see her again, or if he should run screaming for the hills.

She was no different than earlier that day, he told himself, but then he laughed out loud. At least now he knew why she was so strange.

Everything she said and did was careful, like she thought she was being watched. Or maybe like she didn't know how to act.

And Lena didn't eat dinner, though she had acted hungry.

Will shuddered slightly. Hungry meant something different for her. That cheeseburger she hardly ate wasn't gonna cut it.

But the little, blonde creature was terrifying, and Lena wasn't. The blonde filled Will with a sense of dread he was sure he'd never shake. She would probably slaughter him in his dreams every night for the rest of his life.

Lena didn't make him feel that way at all. Lena didn't just not make him feel scared, she made him feel good. Like he could do something more with his life, be something more than what he had been or ever thought he could be.

That hopeful feeling stayed with him all day. It worked its way into everything he thought, everything he said. It was irrational, like his feelings about Lena. He had no reason and no right to like her, to feel certain he was safe with her. But he did.

Will was the black sheep of his family. His two sisters were perfect. Both were happily married, both waiting until their thirties to have kids, like their parents always encouraged. Katie worked in the District Attorney's office and helped bring criminals to justice. Nikki was a photographer and traveled the world with her zoologist husband. Will thought she was in Kenya right now. Her photos could be seen in almost every nature magazine on the planet.

The family loved to hear their stories, and then turn to Will expectantly, awaiting some similarly fantastic piece of news that he never had available to share.

Will wondered if Lena knew how that felt too, like she seemed to understand the rest of his family problems. The thought made him smile

He wondered then if he had _those kinds_ of feelings for her. He didn't think so. Or, if he did, he was too confused and grossed out by the vampire situation to know it.

Kyle wasn't even really hurt. Will had the feeling it would have been easy for her to kill him, to drink all his blood or to snap his neck if the spirit moved her. She was supposedly strong, and quick, so definitely capable. But she chose not to.

That meant something.

What would the logistics be, he wondered, to dating a vampire?

Will shook his head and laughed awkwardly. He was being dumb, but it was a good distraction.

If he had been asked by someone before today what his reaction would be to learning there were really vampires in the world, Will wouldn't have thought in a million years he'd be so casual about it. Making jokes and possibly having feelings for one of them? It was crazy.

But when he thought about her peculiar blue eyes, about the cool smoothness of her skin, of the way she made him feel, all Will could do was smile. She was unlike every girl he'd ever met. Of course, no kidding, she _was_ different than any other girl. But beyond the obvious, Will felt like there was something between them. Some sort of link that made him understand where she was coming from and made her get why he was the way he was.

Maybe he was making it up, lost in the fantasy since the day had been beyond surreal. Maybe it was all in his head, and after being away from her for an hour for the first time in half a day, he'd feel differently when she came back.

There was a thud at the door. Not the normal, rapid knock with knuckles, but one solid thump, as if whoever was on the other side slapped their hand flat to the door. Once.

As Will hopped from the bed and spanned his small apartment, a feeling of oddly familiar unease crept into the pit of his stomach. There was no reason for it to be there, so he tried not to read into it. But it did make him take a moment before turning the doorknob.

Fear slithered inside. He figured out why the uneasy feeling he was having felt so familiar only after it was too late.

**

During my short walk back to Will's apartment, I considered what I should do next. I'd been so unconcerned about Colin and the others coming to claim me before when Annabelle confirmed they were on their way. But I realized finally what it really meant.

Not for me. Colin could kill me if he wanted. Somewhere along the line I resigned myself to my fate. Whatever was going to happen to me, fine, I could take it.

But the humans I'd met. Their lives meant something to me now, and I could not stand by and wait for Colin to come kill them.

Will in particular would be a target because his apartment smelled of my blood.

Now that I was back at his door, I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. He and his friends needed to run.

Or did they?

Spencer and Julia would be fine. It's not like I bled all day long, everywhere I went. But that didn't satisfy my worry. I thought, maybe irrationally, that they would know where I'd been.

They were not all-knowing. They couldn't know about everything I'd done or everywhere I'd been today. Just because they always knew before didn't mean they could know now.

As I leaned in to knock on the door announcing my return, a familiar feeling arose in me. As before, I obeyed immediately without question. I knew what I was supposed to do. I knew what the feeling meant.

Walking away again from the apartment building, I felt him before I saw him, only more intense than when I felt Annabelle's presence. He called to me, lured me outside to find him, across the street to the park, almost like there was a rope around my waist and he was on the other end, pulling me to him.

"We must talk," Declan said as I approached. His body looked relaxed with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the oak tree, still dented from yesterday.

I smelled my blood on it. Annabelle was right. This town must reek of me.

"I won't go back. There's nothing you can say. I'll die before I return to that life."

"That might very well be the outcome, Lena. But this is not why I am here."

His body may have looked at ease, but his expression didn't. His face looked different than I remembered. Or maybe it was his demeanor. Something about Declan was out of the ordinary, but I couldn't place what it was.

"Why are you here then?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. It was a very human gesture, and I liked how naturally I was able to pull it off.

It would have infuriated Colin. Declan hardly noticed, and didn't care anyway.

I'll admit I wasn't upset to see him. Some part of me had missed Declan. I couldn't believe it was true, but it was. There was a bond between us that would probably always be there. He was a part of who I was, not just what I was. Acknowledging that made me understand what Annabelle was trying to explain. I knew that now.

Doesn't mean I had to like it.

Declan looked away. If he were human, he'd be fidgeting with nerves. It was a strange thing for me to watch.

"I do not know how to begin."

"You sound like Annabelle," I blew out a puff of air. "Just get on with it."

"—'kay," Declan said, and it startled me. It was so casual, so informal. So relaxed. He didn't use slang, or shorten his words. Usually he sounded like an encyclopedia from the 1800's.

"There are...things. About you...before. I just—" he threw up his hands and turned away so his back was facing me. "You understand how hard this is for me. Telling you about your human life, no matter how important the information might be, is strictly forbidden."

"I know," was all I could say. I'd never seen Declan act like this. If it were in any way possible, I would be absolutely sure it wasn't him at all.

He took a drawn-out breath, but continued to face away as he said, "You and I...we were in love once, Lena."

If I were human, I would have burst out laughing.

"I do not expect you to believe me. Someday I hope you will know it is true. Somehow."

"We first met right here, in this park. There were picnic tables along the sidewalk and you would have lunch there with your school friends. This was your university, Lena. You were studying to be a doctor one day."

"But we fell in love, and there was a choice. And we chose..." he bowed his head, then growled, "poorly."

Declan faced me then. Our matching eyes met, and his glistened in the moonlight. If I didn't know better, I would have thought there were tears in them.

"Colin came, eager to move things along, because I was sent to find a consort, and it had been a long time since I last checked in with him. I had to lie and say I had not found anyone, but he knew me too well."

"He did not know we were lovers," I felt a stab in my stomach at the word, "for many months before he arrived. He still does not know that, and I desperately hope he never finds out. But he knew I was lying about finding someone."

I realized my mouth was hanging open, and forced my expression to be more composed.

"I wanted to run, to get you away from him and this world, but he found us together and...assumed I was ready. He knew you were different, Lena, and did not like it from the beginning. Not even when you were still human. Your natures are too different. Colin does not like uncertainties."

"And you made the decision," he took a moment, then shook his head. "No, it was the both of us, because if I had refused, it would not have been done. But you said there were no alternatives, and at least we would be together,"

If Declan was telling the truth, and I didn't believe he was, then human-Lena sounded like a sappy, naïve child. I felt like I'd remember being such a silly, little girl.

"You chose the day," it seemed to pain him to say.

"I was weak, and stupid. I was never as strong as you thought I could be. I never deserved you, Lena. And what I made you into, that is the price I have to pay every single day for being arrogant enough to think I had a right to keep you forever."

There wasn't anything I could say. This was outrageous. He had to be lying. It didn't feel true. Wouldn't I have some hint of a memory of this? Yes, I believed I would. Declan learned this trick from Colin. I was sure of it. Find the right thing to say to plant doubt, uncertainty.

Well, I wouldn't be that easy to discourage.

My mind was made up. I would die before I returned to Colin's family, to play Declan's dutiful partner again.

"Lena," Declan said sharply, looking into the clear night sky.

But I didn't want to hear any more of it. I shook my head emphatically, not wanting Declan to have to interpret my feelings at all. Especially since he wasn't looking at me.

His expression hardened reluctantly as he stared off, focused on something. As if he heard someone, but I couldn't.

"Hmm," he made the noise deep in his throat.

It was a noise he only used when something was about to happen.

Something I wouldn't like.

**

He simply could not remember what it had been like to be as young as she was.

Lena could not feel the other members of their family like he could. That was clear. Lena looked at Declan curiously because she did not understand what was going on.

Declan was not sure how they snuck past him. Had he been that distracted, that lost in his memories?

Apparently. Because Henry and Mary had somehow evaded his detection.

They did not have that talent, Declan knew. He was certain of it. It should have taken them three times as long to reach the campus because they would have to travel through forest and least populated areas, which is why he had been certain they would wait until the following moon. Annabelle had gotten there quickly only because she could refuse Colin's orders and walk directly here. But Henry and Mary could not. Yet they were here, and Declan had not realized their arrival until now.

It had been his folly, not their skill that allowed them to pass.

He had not been focusing on them. His attention was on Lena mostly, and Colin. As Declan reached out, searching for Colin's presence, he hardly felt it. He was already headed back to the mansion. He would make it well before the sunrise.

Henry and Mary were the last two Declan expected to turn up. Perhaps that was why Colin sent them.

Clever, old devil.

How had they gotten ahead of the others? Annabelle was on her way back to Colin. She was quicker than he was, and would make it back to the manor well before the sun rose too.

"What?" Lena asked simply, studying Declan's face as it fixed onto the apartment building across the park.

"Henry and Mary are with the human."

Lena did not have to ask which human. She took off running immediately after flashing him an accusatory scowl.

Yes, of course she would blame him. Of course she would suspect him.

Declan followed out of curiosity, out of instinct, but mostly out of a desire to keep Lena safe. Henry and Mary were not fighters, but having nearly one hundred years of practice over Lena, they could inflict a great deal of pain if they wanted. If Colin wanted.

And she had not believed him. Everything he had told her of their life together, she saw as deception. That was clear.

If Lena was destroyed tonight never knowing...

He would not allow himself to think it. Knowing he needed to be stronger than he had been the past few hours, the past twenty years, Declan refused all negativity, and focused on the next step.

That was who he had been, after all, when she was alive. Confident. Zealous. And more than willing to defy the Master of his family in order to protect the woman he adored.

When Colin found them together, he was stricken by Lena's vivacious nature. Her incredibly innate skill at bringing out the best in those around her did not seem to touch Colin. In fact, Declan often wondered if she had the opposite influence on him, bringing out his more despicable qualities.

Colin's vile interest in control and order shined that night, as he threatened Lena's life, forcing the unavoidable decision in one sly, evil gesture.

He slapped her.

Not hard like Declan knew he was capable. Not with a closed fist in order to do maximum damage. Not hard enough to draw blood. But one smack to the jaw. Hard enough to force her to the ground, to break their eye contact. To break her spirit, if only for a moment. To display his dominance. And her weakness.

And to force Declan's hand.

Her capability of being near vampires was what troubled Colin the most. No other human could have managed it. And Lena was more than happy to show it off since she too disliked Colin from the beginning.

Humans were not allowed to know about vampires, even if they were intended mates. Though Colin did not know the extent of their relationship, he did know Declan and Lena knew each other and spoke to one another. That was enough of an offense for Colin's strict, rule-abiding ways.

She told him Colin had cruelty in his heart, and one day he would betray anyone who stood in the way of what he thought he deserved. Colin wanted a family of his own, a true family at least ten members deep that had the same qualities as he. A family who would revere and respect him above all else.

Lena had seen this within minutes of meeting Colin. It was something that took Declan most of his vampire existence to figure out.

He still partly questioned it.

But Declan's rational mind knew Lena had always been right. Colin wanted a family bound to him, unconditionally, unquestioningly. Declan knew he and Lena and Annabelle and Lennox could leave if they so chose. Colin's true family would not have that option, considering the nature they were sure to inherit from their sire.

Like Henry and Mary.

The term was not loyalty, though they were loyal. They were robots. Trained horses. Colin's clones more than Colin's children. If they had their own thoughts, they kept it to themselves and never uttered a word of it. Or so Declan had witnessed since they were brought into the family. If there was anything deeper in Henry and Mary, they were masters at hiding it.

Colin's feelings were evident. How Henry and Mary had gotten there so quickly did not matter. Their purpose was obvious. They were to retrieve Lena through any means necessary, and return her to Colin. Immediately. So retribution could be administered.

Declan knew he would not stop them. Henry obeyed only one creature in this world, and would do exactly as he was told. Though he was older and stronger, Declan knew he would allow Henry to return Lena to the Castle.

That was where he wanted her, after all, wasn't it?

Declan was not convinced she belonged there. Yes, he selfishly wanted her there. But she deserved better. She deserved the stars in the sky and the grass at her feet. Not stone and walls and locks.

No. She could not be allowed to roam the world unchecked. Vampires had to be within a family that would remind them of what was expected.

Though Declan knew she was capable of blending in like no other vampire could.

He sighed, and Lena glanced back at him as if she had never heard him sigh before. Perhaps she had not.

Declan did not know how he felt. He was conflicted on every matter.

If nothing else, perhaps it was best that Henry played this role. Made this happen. Did not provide Declan with a chance of an opinion. Because he would not be stopped.

Declan suspected he did not have the strength to defy Colin even if he decided he wanted to. And he knew he did not have the strength to force anything upon Lena. If this were not the case, he would not have waited this long to confront her.

Declan felt like a coward.

# CHAPTER 12

Henry and Mary stood stiffly in Will's apartment, and looked very out of place there. Will was on the floor in the bathroom. I could hear his heart racing beyond the door. There was no smell of human blood, but I didn't know why I expected there to be. Henry and Mary weren't allowed to drink from a human, and they didn't know he knew what we were, unless Annabelle somehow got to them and told. But spilling blood would be a bad idea if they wanted to play by the rules.

And Henry and Mary definitely played by the rules.

I scanned my memory, hoping there was a window in the bathroom or some other way he could escape, but knew there wasn't. He was stuck.

What have I done?

As my eyes took in the sight of Henry and Mary, I realized they looked somewhat different than I remembered. Not like Declan, but in a frightening way. I never realized before how gruesome they looked.

Not gruesome, that wasn't the word. But it was all that came to mind. The cold, pale blue of their eyes were not like mine and Declan's. I saw now but never had before. It wasn't the golden ring he and I shared, it was a depth absent in their glare.

Their hair and skin were different too, just different enough to be noticeable. Their thick, brown hair was cut short, almost in the same cut as Colin, and had no body to it like Declan and mine had. Their skin was pasty whereas Declan's looked...velvety.

And they had no expression. Completely blank faces hardly moved even when they spoke. Their eyebrows didn't raise, their eyes stayed locked on their target.

It was disturbing.

Or maybe I'd been around humans too long.

Annabelle's eyes looked different still, and Lennox of course also. The inconsistencies suddenly seemed so obvious now. Though in passing we all seemed to look alike, there were subtle differences I'd never noticed.

Maybe that was normal?

I was always under the impression families looked alike. Almost exactly alike. Like Colin and Viola, Henry and Mary, who looked nearly identical but for obvious masculine and feminine qualities.

But what did I know? I'd never met a family other than my own.

Will whimpered beyond the bathroom door and only then did I realize they had hurt him.

But I had to be careful. The more these ghouls knew, the more in danger Will would be.

"What did you do to that human?" Declan asked before I could think of what to say. His disdainful use of the term human would arouse no suspicion. I probably would have used Will's name and given myself away.

Henry tilted his head and I felt my eyes narrow. Surely he wasn't choosing now to suddenly become clever.

"Only bruises," Henry replied. He wouldn't look at me, of course. And Mary's eyes were vacant and cast to the floor, silent and behind her partner's left shoulder, as usual. "The human locked himself in that little room. Is that not humorous? As if flimsy wood and a primitive lock could keep us at bay."

If Henry were capable of having a tone or an expression, he'd be utterly cheery.

"Colin allowed you to walk along the highway among the humans?" Declan asked, keeping an even tone with only a hint of contempt.

I was glad he was taking the reins on this, because my thoughts were all over the place with questions.

"Do not be absurd," Henry replied, with his very Colin-esque, condescending tone.

"How did you get here so quickly then?" Declan asked a half second before the words came out of my mouth. I felt like Mary, huddled behind my sire, pathetically dependent.

"It is quite simple," Henry said coldly, challenging Declan to take a guess. When he said nothing, Henry reached into his jacket and pulled out a very large, rectangular, wireless telephone. "This strange contraption told me where you were."

Henry didn't include his partner. As far as he was concerned, she wasn't even her own person.

And then my brain filled in the rest, finding the key to their speed. Once, while trying to disappear in Colin's Castle, I found the answer but didn't know what it meant at the time. I hadn't thought of that day for years.

"They drove a car," I said, forcing my voice not to come out as a meek little whisper. The boldness of my tone must have been what set Henry off.

I only saw him move because I was paying attention to his feet. Bracing myself as he ripped through the air in one leap, I couldn't say I was surprised. Colin probably gave him the okay to do anything to me he wanted upon any sign of disrespect or further insubordination.

I could practically hear his arrogant voice in my head, giving the order.

But before Henry made contact—apparently he was aiming to land directly on my face—before I could even process what was happening, Declan threw him against the wall.

The room rattled and plaster crumbled under Henry's weight. It took me longer than it should have to decide how I felt about it. Henry had no right to attack me. And he definitely would have done some damage. Not that that filled me with the sense of fear I'm sure he wished it would.

But I was not a damsel in distress. Sure, I needed some saving, so to speak, in the past few hours, but that didn't mean I was helpless. If there was punishment to be dealt out, I could take it.

"You will never touch her," Declan growled, standing very still in the same place he had been before Henry hit the wall.

Furious, I stepped up to Mary, closer than we ever got since Henry was usually in front of her, and said, "Hit me."

I figured Henry and Mary were in all intents and purposes the same. That was how Henry saw it. So this would satisfy him, if only Mary would oblige.

Declan made the subtlest of movements towards us, but I wasn't going to allow it this time.

"Don't you dare," I snarled and was pleased with the intensity of it. He stopped.

Turning my attention back to Mary, who hadn't moved even a little, I kept the snarl in my voice as I whispered, "I said hit me."

She looked down at me, then tried to move to look at her consort who was still on the floor, but I stood in her way and wouldn't let her.

Quit being so passive, you sniveling, insipid little waif.

Wrong tactic.

"I've been insubordinate. I've defied our Master and risked exposing all of us. Colin and Henry would be proud of you," and the clincher, "Viola would not hesitate."

Living with only seven other beings for twenty years had its benefits. Particularly, I knew how to push everyone's buttons. Every weakness, every insecurity and admiration was apparent. Our true feelings couldn't be hidden from one another, especially since we didn't have much else to occupy our attention.

In that second, I realized why I should have known Annabelle would think I hated Declan.

I knew Mary's reverence of Viola. They looked the most alike of all of us, both with the same short haircut which would definitely not be the custom when they were turned. They were both freakishly thin and tall. Annabelle and I were closer in height, and the tops of our heads came to their chins.

Mary was slow with her movements, inexperienced despite her hundred or so years. Unlike Declan, who I hadn't seen move at all, I watched impatiently as she gathered her strength.

Since I was letting her do this, I stood and waited. But it felt so weird. My fighting instinct wanted to retaliate, and I could feel Declan squirming behind me. To his credit, he did as I asked and didn't move to interfere this time. But it was as hard for him not to stop Mary as it was for me.

Though her movements were slow, she was strong. And effective. I crashed through the farthest window from where we stood nearly the second her hands touched me.

Shards of glass and wood pierced my skin. If I hadn't hit the window as hard as I had, the glass wouldn't have been able to get through my flesh. But I hit that window really hard.

When I finally hit the ground—boy was I glad Will lived on the first floor—I was twenty feet from the apartment building. My hands and legs involuntarily reached out to brace my fall, even though I wish they hadn't. As my hands hit the ground, aptly keeping the rest of my body from making contact, glass shards were forced deeper into them.

I pulled a six inch piece of wooden window pane from my neck as I scrambled to my feet, gingerly using my hands. They hurt the most. Not hurt. No, there was still no pain. Just discomfort.

One. Two. Three steps from where I hit the ground, I had most of the big glass pieces removed from my palms.

I needed to get back to the apartment. Will was even less safe now, with three unfriendly vampires to do who knows what to him.

But the moment I looked up, Henry was in front of me.

In the next second, something smashed into the side of my head, the most vulnerable spot.

The world disappeared.

**

As careful as he could be, Declan removed what was left of wood and glass from Lena's body. She could not heal as long as the foreign objects were still in her skin, so he worked quickly. He did not like the smell of her blood in the confines of the car. And he knew, had she been awake, she never would have allowed him to doctor her wounds, which made him work all the more quickly.

The car Declan had never seen before smelled of mold and dust. The outside was black but the paint was faded and rusty. The silver emblem he noticed on the dingy grill said _Cadillac_. It meant nothing to him, yet he noticed, not knowing why he found it interesting.

Being from so very long ago, he did not know how to drive. Neither did Colin. Cars were strange to them. Henry was turned before cars were common so too would not have known how to drive. It appeared as though he had learned.

Declan wondered what other secrets Henry and Colin kept.

Henry drove very slowly. He could not have been able to see well through the tinted front window and did not have the headlights turned on. From the back seat, vampire senses or not, Declan could not see further than the hood of the automobile.

The human whimpered in the trunk where Henry had stashed him. As Declan removed one last little splinter from Lena's arm, he grumbled at the noises the human made.

It was pleasant to see the human scared. Declan could not say he minded him being so very uncomfortable and frightened. But he knew what fate awaited him. If Colin did not kill him on sight, he would lock him away and allow him to die of starvation or whatever pedestrian ailment ended human lives.

Lena would not like it. She was still too young not to care. Whatever relationship his Lena had with that human, whatever connection they shared, she would never get over being the cause of a human's death. Any human, let alone one she has gotten to know.

It made Declan's thoughts race with fury for a moment while he considered how he felt about his Lena having a connection with anyone but him, especially a feeble, lowly, less than extraordinary human.

The stench of that human seeped through the seams of the back seat making Declan scowl all the more.

It was more likely, considering Colin's affection for the rules, that the human would be sent to Charles for disposal, which was the custom with humans that accidentally found out about vampires. It did not happen often, but it had happened before.

Colin would still want to keep what had happened secret, if at all possible. Charles was not omniscient, yet somehow he always discovered what was happening within each family.

When the sky finally began to lighten, Declan could see they were nearly back at Colin's Castle. It was so quick by car. It felt like weeks since he had left, but in reality it was not yet even a day. A handful of hours, really. Yet with the weight of all that happened, with the memories infesting Declan's thoughts ever since he left, time tip toed by.

Declan again considered how unusual it was for a vampire to feel as though a small amount of time was long. But there was nothing usual about what had transpired over the time away.

Colin stood, waiting to greet them at the front window with the thick, black curtain pulled back for the first time Declan had seen. His anger, his agitation, his malicious intent could be felt from across the large lawn.

The Castle, which was nothing more than a big house on a sizeable spot of land, had very little in the way of landscape. There were no trees or shrubbery, but there was a garden tended to by hired, human hands that arrived twice a week and disappeared as quickly as they could.

Slowly putting the car into park and turning the key in the ignition, Henry was around to Lena's door almost immediately. Mary, noticeably slower than her partner, walked to the trunk and retrieved the whimpering human.

Declan did not want Henry to touch his Lena, so he took her and propped her up. She was still unconscious, which was not surprising. Henry had hit her with a park bench. Though she was almost healed now, the side of Lena's skull had shattered with the force of the blow.

Despite knowing she would be all right, Declan would never willingly allow Henry to lay another finger on her.

As they entered the mansion with Henry leading them in, Mary closed and locked the door once everyone was inside while Colin watched and glowered.

"I am glad you have returned, Declan," were the first words he said after giving Henry a nod of approval.

"There was no choice," Declan responded, cradling Lena with one arm while the rest of his body was rigid and firmly planted in place.

Colin did not move. He did not tilt his head or blink. It was his normal behavior.

"I understand," he said as Viola appeared almost out of nowhere and stood behind Declan, just out of his peripheral vision.

"Chain the human," he ordered Mary.

Giving his partner a simple look gave her all the instruction she required. Viola took Lena from Declan's hold with the greatest of ease. He had no time to protest, not that it would have stopped what was to happen. She carried Lena as if she weighed next to nothing, as if instead of blood and bone and muscle, she were filled with packing peanuts.

His Lena would have found the idea amusing.

Declan, conscious of everyone's movements, followed close behind Mary who carried the sticky human draped over her arm. If Viola made a move he did not like, Declan was close enough to intervene.

But as they reached the Main Hall, Colin stood in Declan's way, and he lost view of his partner.

"You are not permitted," he said simply and disappeared behind a locked door in an instant.

Colin would not allow him to meddle. Declan should have known.

Running through the torch-lit corridors of the mansion as fast as his spent body would allow, Declan checked each door leading to the Main Hall, but was too late. Each way in had been locked and secured.

He could have smashed through the doors, or even the walls perhaps, but before he could regain his strength, Colin and Henry would be upon him.

There was no way in. Declan could not do anything to stop this.

He did not know exactly what they would do to Lena, but Declan suddenly hated them all for their part, whatever it would be. Even Annabelle and Lennox were in the Main Hall, ready to bear witness to the humiliation, the pain. Each of the vampires inside about to watch made Declan ill.

After so many centuries of blind loyalty, he found it easy to despise them. The conflict was over.

They were no longer his family.

# CHAPTER 13

When I finally regained consciousness I knew exactly where I was. This was home, and my body knew it. The moment I smelled the air, felt the texture of the stone floor, heard the low and slow heartbeats of my vampire family, I also understood what it meant.

It was time for my punishment.

I wondered what one day of freedom cost in Colin's warped mind. To him, probably my life.

Will was in the room too, though I didn't lift my head to look at him. His heart was beating. There was no blood spilled. He was breathing heavily which told me he was conscious.

He was okay, for now.

Annabelle and Lennox were also there. I could see them from where I laid on the floor without having to make any movements. But I took little comfort in their presence. They wouldn't stop what was coming. Maybe not to the extent of Colin, but they played by the rules too.

I studied Lennox first, trying to picture what he would have looked like as a human. I should have been worried about what was going to happen to me, and to Will, but it felt like so long since I'd seen Lennox, I couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate him.

Even with what Annabelle told me, I couldn't imagine him looking any different. He was like family, so I hadn't given his appearance much thought before, but now I saw him better than ever. Unlike the grisly way Henry and Mary had looked to me, Lennox was as handsome as I remembered, which made me happy, if only for a second.

His soft blonde, wavy hair was slicked back, but hung to his shoulders. His blue eyes were deep, nothing like the coldness in Henry's.

Though his eyes were looking away, I knew Lennox's attention was on me. I could see the sympathy on his face, and the conflict. It made me feel good that he still cared for me. He was sweet, if any vampire could be considered sweet.

Annabelle stood by his side, and also looked away from me. It was good. Everyone's attention would be on me soon enough. It was better that I have a minute to get used to being conscious—before they hurt me again.

"Stand, you pathetic child," Colin spat. He was across the room where his chair sat at the apex of the Main Hall.

Not looking up, I put my hands to the stone floor and pushed my torso off the ground. My hands were completely healed. There were no more pieces of glass and wood. All my discomfort was gone.

_Momentarily_. The thought crept in like fog. It wasn't like I didn't know Colin's form of punishment would be pain. I didn't know why I felt somewhat surprised.

I saw Viola, but didn't study her like I did with the others. There wasn't time. I registered Viola's glare instantly, and it forced me to finally look at Colin.

He disgusted me. He may as well have been foaming at the mouth and snapping his chops. His eyes were characteristically cold and dead, only now I was able to register a sadistic gleam within them.

One day of freedom. And I enjoyed it too. Thanks to the kindness of humans and the understanding and acceptance in Will Shepherd. He'd given me so much, and he would probably never know. There might be nothing after today.

Immediately, I shot up from the floor. Not one member of my family made a move to stop me. I wasn't even sure they turned their heads to watch what I was doing. I knew as well as they did there was no way out of this hall. Even if there were, they would be able to stop me.

I didn't know what I was going to say to him as I ran, but I knew what was coming. I knew what the look in Viola's eyes meant. The matching, malicious stare in Colin's eyes were mixed with a touch of joy. He wanted to do this for years. Finally, I would be put in my place.

The cruel, evil monster.

There was only one thing I could offer Will, the chance to hold on to his human innocence, if only for a little while longer.

**

Lena ran up to Will, a hint of mania in her pale eyes. She grasped his forearms and then looked over her shoulder at the tall, vampire woman across the room. Will had been awake, overly aware because of fear and anxiety. He tried not looking at the creatures, but that didn't make the terror induced sickness go away even a little.

But when Lena finally awoke, Will had something to focus on that wasn't scary, which calmed him down a little. A very little. For only seconds.

He didn't know what was happening, but knew something was coming. All he had to do was look at Lena's face and he knew.

"Whatever happens," she said, turning back and standing with her cold cheek on Will's warm face, "don't watch."

"But what—" he started, but Lena pulled away and took a step into the center of the room.

"Just," she began, but her usually sturdy tone faltered. "Close your eyes."

And a tall vampire woman with a boy's haircut pounced without warning.

Will flinched even though they were both far from him now. He watched horrified as Lena crumbled under the woman's weight. She stood on her, Lena's body twisted into an unnatural position. The woman's bare feet sank into Lena's side and back, and Will heard the crackle of bone on rock.

_Close your eyes_ , the thought screamed into his mind and he squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could.

The array of sounds chilled him and made his body shiver out of control. The noise came from all around the room. Knowing the little he knew about vampires, Will couldn't stop his brain from imagining what was happening.

The woman was tossing Lena around the room. That was the only explanation for the sounds Will heard. Bone and skin and thick, cold blood crunched and clapped and splattered. Little Lena with her tiny waist and tentative smile was getting the snot kicked out of her and all Will could do was hang there and tremble with his eyes closed.

But he knew that was all he could do. His wrists were in chains built into the stone wall so he couldn't move. Besides, if he tried to do anything to stop this woman, he'd be snapped in half. And that would be literally. And no one in the house, except Lena would give it a second thought.

What was strange was there were no words being spoken. No sounds of anger or fear. No gasps of breath or grunts of pain. The room was silent but for Will's rapid breathing and the consistent thud and crackle of a body being thrown against the wall.

Will had never felt real fear before. Not like this. He'd had close calls, mostly while driving, but never any major accidents. He'd never even broken a bone. His life had never been in any real danger.

The horror Will felt now was crushing him. Today was the first time he'd screamed from pure horror in his life. It was the first time he was sure, without a doubt he was in mortal danger.

It infected every part of his mind and body. It sank into his flesh and bone and wiggled inside his stomach.

And now he understood what Lena had asked before. Will remembered the little things that made his life worth living. His answer to her question came so easily.

At the high school football field, huddled under a blanket with his then-intact family and watching the game which looked magical under the haze of the big lights and the dampness of the cold night.

Driving his first car for the first time, and knowing it was all his. He had earned the money and bought it himself. It was the first thing in his life Will had been able to call his own.

Spending lazy Friday nights with his friends, knowing there were two whole days before he had to get back to work.

Root beer floats.

His mom's lasagna the first time he went home after leaving for college.

The smell of the first warm day after a long winter.

Even being lectured about his aimless life by his father the last time they spoke, almost two years ago.

It wasn't about any of these moments in particular, but how they made him feel. Loved, hopeful, and alive.

That was what she had meant.

In that blood-curdling moment, with the chilling certainty they were killing Lena, Will felt loved. And hopeful. And alive.

And pretty sure today was the day he would die.

**

All Declan could do was watch. After all, it was what he was best at. He had spent the time stalking Lena and letting opportunities pass him by. And now he watched twenty-eight vampires fiercely loyal to their unstable king parading into Colin's Castle to attend to his Lena.

And then Charles himself appeared, as if out of nowhere.

Declan wanted to think, if he had known Charles would be involved, he would have urged Lena to run immediately, but he was not sure. Was he strong enough to go against not only Colin, but Charles? Declan did not know, and he despised himself for it.

But something had lured him away from the locked doors of the Main Hall. A feeling inside, a presence more powerful than the way he sensed Colin.

It made sense, of course. Declan was closely related to Charles. Far closer than he was related to Colin. And Declan lived in Charles's house for centuries. The longer vampires cohabitated, the stronger their connection became, whether they were true family or not.

The allure Charles possessed was different than any other, though Declan could not quantify why that was.

"Declan," Charles said with his long fangs flashing in the torchlight once the processional ended.

Head bowed in respect, he replied, "yes, Charles."

"Where is Colin? He should already know I've come to call upon him."

Declan suspected he knew more than he was letting on. Charles had a way with deception. But it did not take an authority to know something was out of the ordinary. Charles had never visited before. And he lived in another part of the country. It was too much of a coincidence that he would choose now to stop by, unannounced, in the exact moment Colin was dealing with Lena's defiance.

Knowing Charles would stop whatever was happening behind those locked doors, but not wanting to divulge too much information, Declan answered, "Colin is administering punishment to our youngest member in the Main Hall."

"For what crime?"

"She left the manor, Charles."

He nodded, bearing his fangs for a moment then hissed, "I see."

"Why does he not know you are here?" Declan could not stop himself from asking. All of the vampires in the house should feel his presence, like plants to the sun.

Charles responded with a sly grin, and Declan suddenly felt Colin lurch with awe and uneasiness. Moments later, the rest of the family, except Lena, did the same, and Declan understood Charles was somehow cloaking his presence. But to what end?

Declan was unaware Charles had this ability. But then again, there was much unknown about Charles. It was unclear if any vampire knew his true nature.

"Please lead us to the Main Hall, Declan."

"Yes, Charles," he said, bowing his head low before heading towards the locked doors that would no longer be locked once they reached them. Colin himself scurried around the room, unlocking all of the doors, and barking orders to his family.

Henry and Mary ran to the summit of the room to stand by Colin's chair.

Annabelle and Lennox stood by Lena.

Lena did not move. She hardly breathed.

When the doors were unlocked and Colin collided with his throne, Declan and Charles's family were only halfway there. There was no need for haste.

Declan had his back to Charles so could not see his face, but he heard laughter come from the Vampire King.

# CHAPTER 14

Now I felt pain.

Parts of me were broken, twisted around the wrong way and sticking out in unnatural angles. I tried to move and felt snaps along my entire right side. It felt like I was being stabbed. Maybe I was. But from the inside, with my own bones. I couldn't move without doing more damage, and most certainly didn't want to try again.

Opening my eyes, I saw raw meat and exposed bone and squeezed my eyes shut again.

So vulnerable, laying on the floor, helpless. Like Will was, utterly powerless strung up on the wall. Did I really miss being human? Because I had a feeling this was what it used to be like.

I didn't know what was going on in the room, couldn't tell where anyone was, and hardly heard what was being said. There was talk. And movement. But that was as much as I could process through the screaming in my brain.

When Viola attacked me, I'd expected it. I expected punishment, and I figured Viola would be the one to administer it. Colin wouldn't lower himself to dirty his shoes with my blood.

What I didn't expect was how much damage she could cause. My injuries were white hot and paralyzing. It wasn't the pain, which was considerable, or the humiliation, which I wasn't sure why I felt since I didn't care what my family thought of me. It was the certainty that I'd never be the same.

I could never recover from this. The promise of this was what terrified me. Not that my life had been so great. But my limited existence in this stupid excuse for a Castle was all I had, and didn't look so bad now considering the situation I was in.

Maybe being a vampire wasn't so dreadful.

What was I thinking? It was my weakness. I was hurt, and unsure of what would happen to me next that made me think it. It wasn't true. Being a vampire was lame.

But if this was the alternative, I thought I could learn to deal with it.

"Delilah, my dear, would you please?" rang through the haze of pain and my frantic, absurd thoughts.

As I forced my eyes open, a slender hand was all I could see. Then a big, silver knife. I wasn't sure I would have tried to get away even if I had been able to. Maybe it was finally time to die, because I couldn't imagine living through this.

But the knife slid across one of the hand's slender fingers, and then came to my face. The bleeding finger found an open wound—it didn't have to try hard—and pressed firmly.

I heard myself scream, but it didn't sound like me. I had no idea I could make such a noise.

And the pain only got worse, slithering under my wrecked skin and digging into my wounds. It was like a million bugs on fire crawling inside me, and each time I squirmed from pain, another piece stabbed me from the inside with a snap. The stone floor was agony at each point it touched my body. I wished I could fly.

"How long will this take?" I was surprised I could hear or comprehend through the pain.

"A matter of moments," a commanding voice replied.

In the next few seconds, I was picked up from the ground. Whoever held me said something more, but now I couldn't understand. My nerves exploded with each tiny movement and I wished I were back on the stone floor.

But whoever had me in their arms was already out of the room by the time I could sense anything again.

Slowly, things became clearer. I could feel Declan around me, his strong arms carrying me through the mansion. Annabelle and Lennox weren't far behind, and I could feel the rumble in Declan's chest as he realized they were following.

"Put me down," I croaked.

He didn't.

I squirmed, which hurt, but not as badly as it should have. I was healing fast now. My bones were in place again. My skin was regenerating. I'd be back to normal in a matter of minutes, and could hardly believe I was going to heal from the beating I took.

The vampire who mixed her blood with mine must have healed me.

"Put me down!" I repeated, louder this time and Declan let me go, straight into the bathtub and turned on the water, as hot as it could get.

What remained of my injuries stung as the hot water hit them. But I understood why it was necessary. The water was dark red before it reached the bottom of the tub.

Taking off my black pants and Will's now tattered t-shirt, I scrubbed myself clean. Declan had disappeared, but Annabelle stood with her back to me, not for privacy, I knew. But because she was deep in her thoughts. Lennox stayed in the hallway.

Everything was happening so fast, I hardly had time to process anything. I didn't have time to have an opinion about it, or feel any emotions on the topic. At least I wasn't in painful agony anymore.

I had to appreciate the little things.

The moment I was clean and turned off the water, Declan reappeared and tossed me a towel. Neither of them would look at me, which was just as well. I was furious with the both of them. Whatever part they had in my ending up back here, and in risking Will's life, I didn't think I'd ever forgive them.

Why should I?

Things now couldn't go back to the way they were. Not after this, what I've learned, and what was surely about to happen. Because with every ounce of vampire blood in my body, I knew the commanding voice I had heard was our Vampire King, Charles. The certainty in me was intense.

Declan put a stack of my clothes on the side of the bathtub and left the room again, but didn't go far. He waited outside the door with Lennox.

Nervousness and fear infested him. I could feel it like it was my own, yet I felt completely normal now. Even my wounds were healed entirely. But Declan and Annabelle both were agitated and anxious.

They probably knew something I didn't.

But I wouldn't speak to either of them. And they didn't bother speaking to me until I was dry, clothed, and being whisked back toward the Main Hall.

Declan had chosen clothes I never wore. I liked human-type clothes. Blue jeans, black pants, simple tops. I felt completely uncomfortable in the black dress he picked for me to wear.

I guessed he wanted me to look respectable. Meaning less like a human, and more like a vampire.

The mansion was sealed up well so eavesdropping from down the hall wasn't easy. Colin had made sure his Castle was extra fortified with soundproofing and heavy duty locks. He was pretty paranoid for a super-humanly strong, immortal creature. But I could hear rumblings in the Main Hall and it was not a civil conversation taking place.

Lennox was behind me, and even though I knew as well as he did Annabelle and Declan could hear, he whispered, "Are you all right?"

I nodded, and didn't turn to look at him.

"What are you going to do?" he whispered again, quieter this time. Not like it made any difference.

What was I going to do? Seriously, did I think anything I did could make a difference against Charles's huge family and Colin and the rest lined up to stop me? Please. I was lucky Will and I weren't already history.

I felt dreadful for what I'd done to Will. I couldn't let this happen to him without at least putting up some sort of a fight.

"Maybe I can do something to get my friend out of this," I said, this time glancing back and meeting his deep eyes briefly. "Any suggestions?"

If Lennox were human, he'd have laughed nervously.

"No, there is nothing you can do."

Of course, he was absolutely right. I knew that. But I didn't care.

"I can try. If there's anything I can do, I have to try."

Annabelle, who walked in front of me, stopped at the last door before we reached the room everyone else was in.

"Do you remember what I told you about Charles?"

It was years ago, when Annabelle and I were first getting used to each other, yet I remembered perfectly. The idea of a Vampire King was captivating to me then. But years passed and Charles was mentioned less and less. And I never met him, so my interest faded.

"He's very powerful—and unique. And he can know stuff about me by looking at me."

She nodded, but said severely, "But Charles cannot read your mind. He can only know your true nature. Be coy, but be yourself also."

Declan added in a mumble, "only respectful."

I almost wanted to laugh. Declan did know me.

But then Annabelle opened the door, and the sight of so many vampires made all the humor left in me disappear.

**

Through a terrified haze, Will started to make sense of the snarls and growls in the big, cold room.

Most everything until this moment was a blur, in and out of consciousness. When he was awake, he felt groggy, like falling asleep in class and having to run across campus moments after he woke up.

When they first chained him up, he hyperventilated and passed out. Will imagined he would pass out again very soon because he couldn't control his breathing. But unlike before, ever since the two monsters came into his apartment uninvited and threw him against the ceiling a few times, Will could finally absorb a little of what was going on.

Words began to slowly make sense again. He didn't know the voices, but it didn't take an expert to know they weren't human.

"You were a liability from the moment I agreed to let you leave my house, Colin. Truthfully, your family was more of an experiment than anything. To say that experiment proved unsuccessful would be an understatement."

This voice sounded strong to Will, in charge with a little mocking mixed in. It sounded like the owner of the voice was enjoying making the other, far weaker voice feel like crap.

"Please, my King. The young one could not be controlled from the very beginning. I cannot be blamed for such disregard for my authority."

"Ah, but you can. That is your job as a Master. You should be able to foster respect from your family. In that, you have failed."

"Only the young one—"

King. Master. Young one. They talked funny, Will thought.

"No, not only the young one. Two others left in the daylight without your permission as well, disobeyed your silly, strict rules."

Will listened to the silence and wouldn't dare look up to see what was happening. They weren't paying him any attention yet, and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"I have yet to decide what punishment your offenses deserve. Not only your most disappointing offense, failing as a Master. But also for disciplining your youngest charge. The beating she took was unwarranted."

"Masters are allowed to administer justice as they see fit," the weaker voice said.

"You are telling me about _my_ laws?"

The strong voice yelled so loudly, the room shook. Will felt it in his chest, like standing by the speakers at a rock concert and feeling the bass rumble through him.

"No, my King. I mean, I was, my King but that was not my intention. I was just—"

Will felt sorry for the weaker one. His voice practically trembled.

"Yes, you have always been arrogant without cause to be so. A Master may administer justice in the way they see fit, but within reason. What you've done here is unreasonable. Bringing a living human into your home? Dealing out pain to a member of your family without discussion or question?"

The weak voice didn't make another sound. And Will suddenly had a feeling there were many more vampires in the room than he could hear. There were faint rustlings from all corners of the room, and though he wouldn't dare look up, he was almost sure the two voices had an audience.

"They are returning now," the strong voice declared. "There will be more talk of this soon enough."

He wondered if Lena was there, and felt more than a little ashamed at how long it took him to wonder about her. But in his cloud of fear, all he could selfishly wonder was if she was watching over him and trying to defend him. After the beating she had taken, Will wasn't sure she was even alive. She told him she could be killed. What if she were gone?

And he was all alone.

Chained to a wall.

In a room filled with angry vampires.

Will realized he had been holding his breath since the voices stopped, and dizziness overtook him.

Losing consciousness again was a relief.

# CHAPTER 15

"Come," the commanding voice I knew was the Vampire King's echoed through the Main Hall.

It was the first time I saw him since I was too preoccupied being broken in half to notice anyone before.

He looked older than any of the other vampires surrounding him, as if he were turned in his mid-thirties while the rest of us were turned in our late teens or early twenties. His hair was a soft blonde that almost looked silver in the flickering torchlight. Deep, charcoal eyes set wide apart and a prominent brow. His broad jaw reminded me of the faces of ancient warriors in paintings.

Though I was sure this could change in an instant, Charles would have been very frightening if it weren't for the quizzical grin set on his very expressive face. It made him look very young, and practically kind, despite the pointy canines that were permanently extended at full length.

Annabelle had told me that once. The Old Ones could not retract their fangs like we could.

"Are you intact again?" It was a funny way of putting it. He could have asked if the pain was gone, if I'd be all right. The weird thing was, his strange way of asking if I was better made perfect sense.

He asked with what looked to me like a genuine smile. I was mesmerized by his face, by his every movement. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

He didn't look at me, but around the room like he was giving a speech.

"Yes, thank you," I said timidly, and hated that I sounded so feeble.

Charles held out his left hand and the owner of the slender finger that saved me from the pain stepped up beside him.

"This is my consort, Delilah. You may thank her for feeling better now."

Delilah was not beautiful, to my complete surprise. She was tall and thin, but awkwardly muscled for a female. And she scowled at me, but I wasn't sure it was at me or if that was just what her face looked like.

I nodded my thank you and let my eyes drift back to Charles. He was much more pleasant to look at.

I hardly believed Delilah could even be Charles's partner. First and foremost, he was unquestionably handsome and animated. She _so_ was not. Their hair and eyes were a different color. Though her hair was blonde, it had no hint of the silvery tones his had. And her eyes were a bluish, which were deep pools of charcoal grey water.

"And this is my Servant, Ansell," he motioned to the giant to his right, who I surprisingly hadn't noticed until now. The extremely broad male looked absolutely nothing like Charles, mostly because he was twice his size and had dark, ruddy skin covered in thick, black hair.

I nodded again and scanned the rest of the faces in front of me, wondering if each of them would look different. They were all well muscled but oddly slender at the same time, and a little odd, with pale hair and blue grey eyes. They all looked like Delilah. Well, like Delilah, only more attractive.

"You look like you have a question, little one," Charles tilted his head and leaned forward in Colin's chair, still not looking at my face.

"I—" I began, and could feel Declan and Annabelle shift where they stood behind me, nervous for what I was going to say. It made me want to ask something more provocative, but I stuck to what I actually wanted to know.

"I was wondering why none of your family looks like you."

He hummed and blinked a few times before he answered, "I have been Vampire for longer than anyone in this room, longer than most that survive today. Time ages us, in a way."

"Then why don't we all look like your family? Why is my hair dark and my eyes pale while your families' are the opposite?"

"Because I am not your sire," he said.

"Yes," I continued, and could feel my family squirm. But they wouldn't do anything about it. Ha ha, losers. "But we'd be decedents of you, right? If you're one of the Old Ones."

"Well—"

"Are there other families, then, like mine? Who aren't—related—to you?" Interrupting was a bad idea, and I knew it as soon as the words left my mouth. But it was interesting, and I'd never had anyone actually explain any of this to me. I wanted to know everything all of a sudden.

"We are all related, little—"

"Of course, _technically_. But—"

And Charles gave a laugh that rumbled through the room. I knew it was time to stop.

"Did Colin teach you nothing? You are what, fifty years vampire?"

"Twenty," I answered.

"And who is this enchanting creature's consort?" Charles asked, but I was sure he already knew the answer. I got the impression he knew everything about me and my family. But I couldn't understand why he would pretend he didn't.

Declan took his place in front of Charles but would not look at me. I couldn't blame him for being mad.

"Ahh, Declan. How interesting. Did she inherit her incredible gift from you?"

Everyone in the room knew Declan didn't have to answer, that Charles already knew the truth. But he looked down at Declan expectantly, and waited for a response.

"No, Charles."

"Did she inherit anything from you?" he asked with an eerie grin. I would never get used to the amount of expression on his face.

"Yes, Charles."

"Yes," he chuckled. It sounded like tires on gravel. "She did indeed."

Then Charles finally turned to me and stared me down. Did he expect me to look away? Please. If I was going to die, I was going to do it with my head up.

"Do you know about your sire, little one?"

I glanced at Declan, though I didn't know what I expected to see. His eyes were looking at the floor away from me.

"What's there to know?" I finally said, and heard a few vampires inhale suddenly in the crowd. I didn't understand why.

Charles looked at me, then chuckled like gravel again. "I forget how spirited the young are. It has been centuries since I have been in discussion with one of your age."

"Um...okay?" I shrugged. I didn't really mean to sound so rude, but I hated his tone. I couldn't decide who was fuller of themselves, Charles or Colin.

"You are aware that sires pass traits and abilities onto their family."

I nodded politely this time, eager to hear the story Charles was dying to tell me.

"I admit, I've always been fascinated by the phenomenon. Which traits pass on and which don't. How one with no discernable abilities can sire a very powerful individual. I suppose what really interests me are anomalies. Contradictions."

Maybe that was why he had so much expression, so much personality. I wouldn't call him more human than other vampires. Maybe less even. But he had a very distinct, very illogical quality.

Unique had been the word Annabelle used. It was the right one.

And I saw now why he was bothering to take any interest in me. Oh sure, I was quite the anomaly. I could only imagine what Charles thought I could do for him.

"Declan has proven to be an enigma for some time, going against his true nature."

"His true nature?" I muttered, doubting this could be the case. Declan was exactly what Colin always wanted him to be. Why would anyone act that way unless they didn't have a choice?

Charles continued after an exaggerated nod. "You might know how difficult it is for a vampire, of any age, but especially as old as we are, to go against who they truly are."

Another way I was normal? It sure would have been nice to know this _before_.

"I think I have an idea," I said with a grimace.

"Your sire was turned by a particularly unruly old friend of mine." Was Colin _anyone's_ sire? "His name was Patraicc, and he had to be put down for his rebelliousness. It pained me to do so, but as you know, feeding from a living human without authorization is, after all, forbidden."

He glared down at me again, and I swore he knew what I had done. It seemed like he knew I'd fed from a human among all of my other offenses. But I did not flinch. I had years of practice at keeping my calm while being belittled.

Colin loved to do this to me. His favorite thing to tell me was that I was pathetic.

"Patraicc liked to break our rules, any rule really. He had been free-spirited, I believe you would call it. My old friend did not want to be confined to our way of life. He wanted to explore, to learn, to see the world."

"Unfortunately, when a vampire is on his own, the urge to feed on humans is hard to resist if blood is not readily available. It takes us over, one might say, and it can overpower if we don't remain aware of it," he said, then looked into my eyes. "Do you understand?"

I stared into him. Charles's charcoal eyes were like looking into the depths of the ocean, and I wasn't sure what to say. I got lost looking at him, and I knew he was reading me again.

There was a distinct feeling of this powerful, old vampire in my mind. Like the certainty I was being watched even though I was locked away in my room with the curtains drawn. And it came with a sound, like wind. But only the memory of wind, since the room was still.

There was so much I needed to keep secret from him. Charles couldn't know about me feeding on a human, or that would be it. He couldn't know what I'd told Will about us. He couldn't know how much I despised Colin or how much I didn't want to be Declan's partner. Above all, he couldn't know how much hatred I had for our kind. There was supposed to be a sense of solidarity among vampires. I didn't feel it. Never had. If he knew I hated being a vampire, how much I hated being a vampire, I could only imagine how swiftly I'd be dead. Really dead.

But I was being irrational. Charles couldn't read my mind. He couldn't see my secrets. He could only see who I really was. I would thank Annabelle later for telling me.

"Little one, your sire has gone against his true nature most of his immortal life. His true nature is like his sires', just as your true nature is like _your_ sire."

I'd nearly forgotten what we were talking about. His presence in my mind was overwhelming.

"Tell me, what made you think you could survive in _their_ world?" Charles's eyes flitted to Will, who was shackled to the side wall. This got my attention.

I made myself not look at Will. I knew he was alive. Looking at him would only confuse my focus. He was okay, for now. That was all I needed to know.

"There is only one world," I said, making sure my tone was steady.

"For you, it would seem. For the rest of us, this is not the case. You, my little one—" I heard Declan crack his jaw at the words, "—are quite an oddity. There has never been a vampire that could feel comfortable communing with humans. And especially not one who could make humans at ease in their company."

Charles turned his attention back to Declan, "Are you aware of what else makes your consort special?"

"Yes, Charles," Declan said, only this time through clenched teeth.

"Would you enlighten my family, please?"

"I—" Declan began, but shut his mouth and finally looked at me. I narrowed my eyes, then childishly looked away and back at Charles.

"Out with it," Charles said coldly.

"I do not know the word to use for it, Charles. And until earlier this night, I did not know she retained the ability."

"What do you mean?" Charles leaned forward, the smugness wiped from his face and replaced with a sort of childish awe.

I had no idea what he was talking about.

"This ability you see in her, she had before. When she was—"

"Enough!" Charles bellowed, and it shook my eardrums.

Everyone stayed quiet, with wide eyes as we all waited for Charles to deliberate. He leaned back in his chair, folded his hands, then leaned forward again.

"Leave me with her," he said, but no one moved. "I said _leave us!_ "

My eardrums shook again as all of the vampires scattered quickly from the room. Declan slinked slowly from my side, reluctance vibrating from him.

I refused to meet his eyes.

**

Leaning against the closed door, Declan tried desperately to eavesdrop on what was happening in the room.

Charles had such interest in his Lena, it made Declan uneasy. Though he was not aware of any circumstances that would allow Charles to take Lena for himself, Charles was notorious for going against his own traditions if it pleased him to do so.

He was also notorious for his inquisitive nature. If Lena was not careful, she would divulge information that she should not. She had committed many offenses, but might not realize what would incur the wrath of the Vampire King.

Foremost, if Charles found out she told that human what they truly were...

Declan inched closer to the door, trying to drown out the low hum of chatter from the clan of Charles's family behind him.

Only seconds passed before Ansell, Charles's faithful Servant found Declan and led him away from the door, as if he had been ordered to keep an eye on him.

Evidently, no one was allowed to listen in. Anything could be happening in that room. Not that Declan could have done anything to help if something was happening, but the not knowing was agony.

"How have you been, Ansell?" Declan asked, hoping to be able to hear even a little as long as he stayed as close to the door as Ansell's considerable size would allow.

The giant was nearly seven feet tall, and as broad as the doorway. If Declan stared straight ahead, he would be looking at the thicket of black hair on his exposed chest.

"I am well. Thank you for asking," he replied in a heavy German accent.

Most vampires were able to adapt their speech to the region they lived and to their family. It was incredible how easy it was for them, especially considering their lack of contact with the humans. Charles, though he was the oldest vampire in North America, was even able to converse naturally, using common dialect for the northeast, where he chose to keep his family. Colin had always had trouble sounding informal in the English tongue.

This was probably why he himself spoke so formally, Declan realized.

Ansell, despite his size and willingness to liberate a vampire of its limbs if it pleased his Master, could be considered cordial. This amiable quality, Declan thought, was why Charles chose him to be his Servant, a position of great respect and power. He looked one way, and acted in a completely different way. Charles and his fascination with inconsistencies.

"Has Charles given thought to adding new members to his family?" Declan asked, keeping his tone clear and unaffected.

"My King has not. He appears content with the family he already has."

Declan inched closer, stood on his toes, and whispered, "Have you considered taking a consort?"

This was the normal script for interacting with members of another vampire family. If any vampire was without a mate, it was customary to ask when they might take one.

"I will take a consort when my King wishes."

"Of course," Declan inched forward again, but still could not hear a word from inside the room.

Declan imagined all the terrible things that could be transpiring behind that locked door. Would he know if Lena were gone? Though he believed he would be able to feel it, Declan feared her being dead and him never knowing.

It was ridiculous, and irrational. He was aware. He sensed her in the manor, he tracked her around that campus. They were connected. If she were gone, surely that would be gone with her.

Declan centered his attention on Lena's feelings. At that moment, she was not overly excited and was not panicked. There had been times when she spoke to Colin alone that she was far more upset than she was right now.

Instead of putting him at ease, her calm worried him.

Coldness coursed through his body and he inched forward without picking up his feet, though he knew on some level his actions were not going unnoticed.

"You need to move back," Ansell said, not losing his friendly tone. But he crossed his arms, and leaned forward, forcing Declan to retreat.

Ansell was not stupid. He knew what Declan was doing all along. Yet he had been so nice about it. Declan had to admit, the inconsistencies of the vampire were intriguing.

"Lena is mine. You must understand."

"I do," the German giant nodded slightly. "My King will make the right decision."

Declan wanted to roll his eyes as he had seen Lena do so many times since he transformed her. It was a gesture he had never seen her use when she was human.

But he knew Ansell was only being true to his King. He did not know what Charles would do any more than Declan did. He followed blindly, because that was what a Servant did.

There was no getting around him, though, and no convincing him to think anything different. So Declan knew there was no reason to continue trying.

"You are a good Servant, Ansell," Declan offered, and took an extra step into the crowd of waiting vampires behind him.

Though he did not say anything more, there was a distinct look of pride on the giant's face. It was wise to keep a pleasant acquaintance with Charles's Servant. It may well prove beneficial in the future, Declan thought.

If there was a future.

# CHAPTER 16

"I want you to speak freely now," Charles motioned for me to sit at his feet.

I declined with a deliberately repulsed look.

Will still hung in chains on the wall. Though his heart beat and his blood pumped, he hardly seemed alive with his head hanging to one side and his eyes shut. He must have been under a great deal of stress, I knew. This was a lot to experience. Maybe he had fainted again.

_Really, he's doing pretty well_ , I thought. He hadn't tried to fight or run screaming for the exits. Not that it would have done him any good.

All Charles did was stare at me with a sly grin. It didn't seem like he had anything to say, and I wasn't going to let the time tick by, especially since I had no clue how long the King's interest would last. So I went for it.

"Will you let my friend go?" I asked. Hey, it couldn't hurt.

"Your friend," Charles chuckled like gravel. "That is too odd to hear. Humans and vampires as friends. Could you imagine?"

_I was doing just fine with it_ , I thought, but knew better than to say it out loud. Speak freely my ass.

It was clear Charles had no intention of continuing with that line of conversation, so I figured I may as well take the opportunity to get some more questions answered. I suddenly had so many. I'd always been curious, but never had I deluded myself into thinking I might someday get my questions answered.

"Was Patraicc related to you?"

He seemed astonished at the question. Maybe he didn't expect me to remember the name he had said, or didn't expect me to be so interested. Or maybe he didn't realize why I was this curious to know the explanation. But now I knew Colin wasn't Declan's sire, wasn't my grandsire, I was eager to find out about my true family.

"Yes. If that's the term you wish to use."

"In what way?"

Charles's reluctance to answer was strange to me. Had no one ever asked him about these things? I would think everyone would want to know where they came from.

"We had the same sire. Named Kenrick," Charles paused, "My sire was killed so long ago, I'm shocked I even remember the name."

"Did Patraicc have a partner...I mean a consort? Did Kenrick? What were they like? What did they all look like?"

Charles blinked a few times and stared into my eyes. It may have been designed to make me feel uneasy, but it didn't. I was intrigued, and Charles knew it. He even seemed to appreciate it.

"Someday there will be time for such talk. For now, there are matters at hand to consider."

Dang. Part of me felt like if I didn't find these things out now, I'd never have another opportunity. But when Charles changed the subject, end of conversation.

He smiled and his extended fangs flashed in the flickering torch light. "You are a muse, little one. Do you realize this?"

"I don't...don't think I understand," I said, focusing on Charles's animated gestures, not wanting to screw this up. Whatever reason he wanted to talk privately with me, I knew this was my only chance to make an impression. To maybe save Will's life. Though I couldn't see how to do it.

But I would be exactly who I was. Charles knew the nature inside me. He obviously saw something interesting there, and he must have known I knew that. The only thing I could do was appease him and see where this was going.

"You inspire great things in those around you," he rose, and glided past me.

I could feel his power as he came closer, but didn't back away. "You're wrong. No one around me does anything great."

"No, _you_ are wrong," Charles whispered, standing behind me. His presence tickled my right side. "Look at your human over there. He's fainted from fear, yet he came here with you. Half of your family defied hundreds of years of custom by following you. I suspect your consort's affection for you may be the catalyst for telling you more about your human life than you should know."

Declan's affection for me? _Ha_. I considered telling the King my partner couldn't hardly stand the sight of me, but it didn't seem relevant.

I said instead, "None of that has anything to do with me."

"Are you so naïve, little one?" Charles's cold breath tickled my ear.

"I'd prefer if you didn't call me that," I said sharply, testing his boundaries. "I'm Lena."

"Little Lena," he cooed.

"No," I snapped, and he grabbed my arm. My tone did not waver, my body did not flinch away from him. "Just Lena."

The strength within him was breathtaking. Not his physical strength, which was of course formidable since he was so very old, but his strength of mind.

Charles understood so many things and had so much knowledge in him. I imagined he loved everything that gave his extremely impressive mind something extraordinary to ponder.

Without seeking anomalies in the world, Charles would be bored silly. And unhappy beyond belief.

I could have liked him really, if I weren't one false move away from being decapitated by him.

"All right, Lena," he said in a strange tone and grinned oddly, releasing my arm.

"You seem so pleased," I said. Inquisitiveness was part of my nature. I couldn't help wanting to know what was making him, the King of the Vampires—on this continent anyway—so happy.

"I feel pleased. Isn't that peculiar? And I don't believe it's coming from me."

His grin grew wider, and I didn't know what he meant. This was such a strange interaction.

"Would you mind telling me—" he drew a breath in thought, then took a seat on the step he had asked me to sit on a few minutes ago. At my feet. It felt so wrong. "—what you think of me?"

"You can't be serious," I blurted, then froze. I really needed to learn to hold my tongue.

Instead of taking offense, Charles put his chin on his hand and elbow on his knee. It was such a human thing to do. I wondered if he knew it was and meant to appeal to my appreciation for the humans.

"Okay," I began. Honesty was the way to go. "There's a quality that comes off you like warmth. Maybe it's the force of your mind, I can't say for sure. I could feel it when you moved around the room just now. I think we all can, all the time in your presence though. It makes you...captivating. Your ability to absorb knowledge and know yourself and those around you. Your expressiveness. It makes you...irresistible."

"This is not flattery," Charles stated, and I may have shrugged. I wasn't sure. "And I believe what you say, and feel...improved, somehow. What does pride feel like?"

Looking into his suddenly vulnerable eyes, I couldn't believe what I was experiencing. It didn't make sense, and probably wasn't going to last much longer.

"It's a human emotion," I said, channeling Annabelle. She must have said that to me a hundred times. "I'm not sure."

He hummed and let his eyes drift to where Will was. I didn't want Charles paying him any notice. It was too dangerous.

Demanding Charles's attention, I offered, "I wonder if this is why you have such a big, loyal family and no one has ever tried to overthrow you."

Looking back at me, Charles grinned as if he suspected my motive but decided to indulge it anyway.

"You're not the first to wonder. The coven in Asia has had three coup d'états in the past century alone."

He said it nonchalantly, almost as if it were amusing to him. It probably was, since as far as I knew, vampire families were supposed to be loyal to each other. A coup meant someone in the family had to go against their King. And the rest of the family had to eventually follow the new King.

"What is the word for this quality you believe I possess? The human word?"

I was surprised when the small smile crossed my lips as I said, "Charisma."

He made a low, thoughtful sound deep in his throat and folded his hands in his lap. I wasn't positive I should break the silence first, but I couldn't stand the uncertainty of what was happening. I didn't think Charles wanted me dead. He wouldn't be wasting his time talking to me if he did. But I couldn't be sure. I had to keep him talking, keep him interested. And interested in me, not in Will.

"Do you remember being human at all?"

"No lit...Lena," Charles corrected, and I wanted to smile again, but don't think I did. "I'm far too old, and we forget life as we grow accustomed to death. I wonder if we do ourselves an injustice, though, staying secluded from the humans. They are an interesting species, and we are descended from them. But of course that is foolish. They fear us," he squinted at me, then at Will, and smiled.

"Why can I be around them, and no other vampire can?" insisting upon his attention again.

"It was in no way difficult for you? Truly?"

Complete honesty was _not_ the way to go now. Charles may forgive some offenses, but I didn't think telling him about the annoying boy who bore my teeth marks was a smart idea.

"The first moments I was around a lot of them, it was pretty overwhelming. But it didn't last long. I soon felt as comfortable with them as I do with any one of us. And they were never scared of me."

"You should not have been seen by any humans."

I should have been more careful with what I said. Now he knew Will wasn't the only human who saw me. Any wrong word, any slip, and Charles's warmth, so to speak, would disappear.

"I know."

"But I do know why you did it. Your curiosity and thirst for knowledge is a dominant trait."

"As is yours."

He chucked his gravelly chuckle. "Yes, I have these traits as well. Curiosity, and an interest in...in how things work," he blinked, then met my eyes. "You cannot be explained, Lena. This intrigues me. Think of the things you could do..."

Charles was somewhere else for a few moments, and I waited patiently, taking a moment to steal a glance at Will that I hoped would go unnoticed. I suspected he was awake now, but his head was still bowed towards the floor. I hoped he wasn't hurt. If he was, being chained up like he was to the wall couldn't be helping.

"I'm going to let you live," Charles said suddenly, and my head snapped back to look at the old vampire again.

His expression was stern at first, but then melted into a soft look of wonder. "And I'm unsure why. I've killed our kind for far less than what you've done today."

"Thank you—" I began, but he raised his hand and I accidently bit my tongue.

"Your human cannot leave here alive. He knows too much and you belong to your sire. Your affection for this human cannot be encouraged."

Crap. There really was no budging.

"The human must die."

"No," I said louder than I meant to, and my voice ricocheted off the stone walls.

Charles glared at me with his expressive eyes and waited for what I had to say. He seemed to be fighting with his fascination of me and his certainty that Will had to be disposed of.

I took a few moments to select my words carefully. I didn't want my meaning misunderstood. I didn't want Charles reading more into what I felt for Will than he had to. It seemed he already thought there was something romantic going on. In less than twenty-four hours? Seriously?

"He doesn't deserve to die because of my mistakes."

Considering my words before he spoke again, Charles seemed to value the truth in what I'd said. Did he agree on some level? That it wasn't Will's fault I brought him into all of this?

"Your human will not leave here alive."

Evidently not.

I changed my tone and my tactics immediately.

"What are my options?"

Charles was a reasonable creature. I learned this about him in the short time I've been in his presence. He wanted to stay on my good graces, but this didn't mean he would give me anything I wanted. Without a price.

"If you denounce your sire, and agree to become a part of my family instead, I'll grant you the honor of making your human one of us. To make him your mate instead and begin a family of your own."

"I didn't know females could have families."

"A product of being raised by Colin, I imagine. He would have no doubt kept you in the dark on these matters. But females head families equally in the world, though it is more prevalent on other continents. Petra, the only surviving member of The Four other than myself, is the Vampire King of her region."

"King?"

Charles blinked once before understanding crossed his face. "We don't define by gender, but by age. By power. All of the region leaders, whether male or female, are the Vampire _Kings_ of their region."

Well, that was nice and misleading. I wondered if vampires like Colin used that to their advantage, making it seem like females weren't as important as males, when clearly they weren't treated any differently.

Charles was watching me, looking me over and making me uncomfortable, so I asked, "Where is Petra's region?"

"I believe they call it Europe now," he said as if he was getting bored, but his eyes stopped scanning my body. That's all I needed. "She likes to stay in the colder countries."

"Who are the other Vampire Kings, if the original members of The Four are gone?"

"You're getting me off topic again, Lena. We have more important matters to discuss."

I hadn't changed the subject on purpose really, but Charles was too wise to let even my subconscious go off track.

"If I refuse to change Will?" I didn't mean to say his name, and Charles didn't ignore it. He flashed his fangs at me with a snarl, and I instinctively dipped my head.

"The human cannot leave here alive."

"There is no scenario where he can be unharmed," I said, not looking up from the floor, and not bothering to form it as a question.

"If you try to rescue him, if you attempt to escape, all of your family, you, and your human will be destroyed."

"That seems a bit dramatic, don't you think?"

He didn't. Charles's patience with me was wearing thin, and fast. He wanted this situation resolved.

His tone changed, and he said, "if you can think of a condition that suits you which also suits me, I will consider extending you a favor."

I couldn't think of anything.

I suspected he wasn't only insisting on Will being made a vampire because he was a human who knew we existed. He was curious. Charles wanted to know if a person sired by me would have my abilities.

"Unchain and revive your human. Bring him before me. I shall summon our families."

Charles didn't wait for me to say anything more, so I didn't hesitate any longer. I sprinted at Will and unchained his wrists and ankles a quickly as I could.

"Will, you have to get up. I'm so sorry. There was nothing I could do. Come on, you have to wake up."

"You're alive?" he whispered in a raspy voice, wincing in pain as I moved him.

"Well, not technically."

And he coughed as he laughed. It was a good thing to hear. I hadn't been certain until now what damage Henry and Mary may have caused him, but he was able to move and breathe sort of normally. Coughing didn't appear to hurt him too much, and it certainly would if something inside were broken beyond repair. It was a relief.

"What'd I miss?" he looked at me. His watery eyes were bright red and his mouth was set in a permanent state of panic, but besides thicker stubble than I'd seen on him until now, and even deeper circles under his eyes than the first time I met him, he looked like himself.

"I'm so sorry. Something's happened."

"They're going to kill me?" Will asked, and he blinked liquid from his eyes that moistened his cheeks.

Before I explained, I put his arm around my neck and lifted him, careful not to jostle him too much, and carried him to the center of the room. Now it looked like he was in pain. He flinched as I moved his arm and his other hand went automatically to his torso.

His ribs were damaged. I could tell as he gingerly felt along his side and cringed. I could see he was badly bruised through the rips in his now dirty t-shirt. The shock of what he'd experienced was wearing off maybe. I wondered how much pain he would be in once he was totally aware of how he felt again.

The rest of the vampires were filing in, but I wanted to ignore them until it was no longer an option.

"Our Vampire King has decided I'm to make you one of us. There was no changing his mind. He would have all of us killed if I refused. Do you understand?"

"Lesser of two evils," he muttered, and I knew what he meant. Taking one life, or being the cause of my entire family being murdered? Yes, he understood.

As the room filled, I tried to think of anything I could do to help Will through the next few minutes. It was obviously terrifying for him to be in a room with so many of my kind. Remembering the way he reacted to Annabelle, I assumed it must be so much worse now.

"Don't look at any of them. Try to keep your head down. Focus on something that will keep your mind occupied. Charles is going to make his announcement, and then we'll be moved. We'll be out of this room soon, I promise."

Will shifted against the side of my body, then recoiled from the pain, but was able to utter, "I feel better now."

"Really?"

I think he tried to nod, but his neck didn't seem to want to support his head any longer and it bowed toward the floor as it had been when he was chained up.

But he managed to whisper, "I'm glad you're here."

# CHAPTER 17

All thirty-five vampires herded back into the Main Hall and lined the walls. Declan, though he felt no kindred to them any longer, accompanied Colin, Viola, Annabelle, Lennox, Henry, and Mary to the middle of the room as representation of Lena's family.

This was the custom. Declan had only witnessed three trials of this manner, all while living in Charles's house.

Each of those had ended in execution.

There would be nothing Declan could do if this was to be his Lena's fate. He could attempt to free her from the dungeon, since the execution would not take place until the full moon as was tradition. But he would be killed in the attempt.

Perhaps that was fine with him.

There would be nothing left to exist for.

Declan shook the cold thoughts from his mind and took his place behind Lena. He had to be stronger than that, at least for now. There was no time for self-pity.

It was odd that she held the human against her side. It took Declan longer to understand this than it would have under normal circumstances. His senses all seemed slow and dulled.

He had not fed in almost three days. Normally that would not be a problem for him. Lena, being so young, had to eat daily. But Declan could feed once a week with little activity. But there had been no lack of activity.

Ansell was the last to take his position beside Charles, and the verdict commenced.

"It troubles me when a family under my care goes so far astray. I'm aware that this happens, especially to the youngest families in our clan, but seeing it firsthand is never a desire I've possessed."

"Upon getting to know this young one, I've discovered a specialness that is unprecedented. I wish to spend more time learning of her exceptional qualities as we get to know each other better."

This meant Lena was not scheduled for execution. But Declan's relief was brief. If she would live after all she had done, Charles was sure to have a reason Declan would not like.

"She has been stifled here, among this family, her growth sorely stunted."

He could not control the rumble in his chest. Though Ansell's attention was on him immediately, Declan could not stifle it.

He knew he would not like any of what would be said next.

"It is my decision that Colin be stripped of his position as Master. He may keep the ones he has sired himself, but may no longer reside alone in this dwelling."

Involuntarily, Declan's eyes shot to Colin. His face held no more expression than usual. He did not look angry, or protest in any way. But Declan could sense how he felt. It was as though his stomach had dropped out. Colin could not believe what had happened. All he had was now gone. It was that easy to tear down, what he had tried so hard to build.

"Do you understand, Colin?" Charles asked. He wanted the moment to be as humiliating as it could be. Charles wished to savor it.

"Yes," Colin said in a normal, unaffected tone.

But Charles would not accept it. "What was that, Colin?"

"Yes, Charles," he said, and the Vampire King raised his eyebrows and stared Colin down, forcing him to say, "my King."

Charles nearly looked as though he was going to clap. He smiled with a nod and sang, "Once more, with feeling please."

"Yes, my King."

Colin's expression never wavered, though he was fuming and utterly disgraced.

Declan turned his attention back to focus on Charles's mouth now that Colin's punishment was administered. He awaited the next words, holding his breath for fear that the sound of his own breathing would make him miss it.

When the words were spoken, Declan wasn't positive if it had been simply imagining his worst fears, or if his ears had heard correctly.

"Lena will sire this human—"

Annabelle's quick inhale of breath told Declan it was not his imagination.

His insides buzzed so loudly, Declan heard nothing else of what Charles said. There was no understanding it. It made no sense. Nothing had logic any longer.

Lena would not be allowed to sire a human of her own unless she no longer belonged to Declan. The only way that could be accomplished was for her to denounce him as her consort and join a new family. And he had yet to hear she has been taken in by a new family.

"I thought of a condition," Lena interrupted.

Declan felt his heart leap into his throat. Only her voice could have brought him back from his thoughts.

"I will turn this human, but I won't take him as my par...my consort. I will be responsible for him, but I won't force him to be bound to me. He'll be free to leave once he's used to being like us."

"This is quite unorthodox," Charles began, but Declan already knew he would allow her to have this exception. The tone in his voice oozed curiosity. "But it is a small favor you ask. I care not if you take him as your consort."

"Thank you," she replied simply and bowed her head in respectful gratitude, an uncharacteristic gesture.

Charles continued. "Lena will sire this human and join my family immediately."

Though he knew what it meant, he heard what Charles had said, Declan could not believe it. This was not something that happened. Ownership through siring could not be stripped so easily. It never had been before.

But this was Charles, the Vampire King. He made the laws. He could break the laws.

There was nothing more for him there. There was nothing more for him anywhere. Declan felt all hope, all possibility of contentment drain away. There was no longer a reason to keep taking in air, going forward.

There was no forward.

The buzzing in Declan's head sounded like flies now, like he had died inside and they were swarming around the carcass that remained.

If anyone tried to stop him as he left the Main Hall, he did not notice.

If anyone said anything to him or stood in front of him to block his way, he did not notice.

Declan exited the Main Hall, then the manor and out into the night.

The sun would be up within the hour, but Declan did not care. Nothing mattered any longer. The world was dead to him, just as he was dead to it.

**

Declan leaving hadn't been a surprise. I wasn't sure how he would take it, really. Most of our two decades together, he seemed like the sight of me upset him. He never really wanted a partner. That was what I'd always suspected. A little part of me thought maybe he'd even be relieved to hear Charles's decision.

Obviously he wasn't.

Maybe he'd lost his marbles and thought the story he made up, that he and I were together when I was human, was true. I'd understand him being upset if he actually loved me.

I had no reason to believe he did.

But it wasn't my problem anymore. Not right now. I had other things to worry about, like Will. And Annabelle and Lennox. Charles would somehow know, in his miraculous way, they were the ones I cared about. If he wanted to punish me, if I went against his wishes, Charles would undoubtedly go for them first.

The meeting was over. Charles had made his announcements and everything was final.

I couldn't believe Colin was no longer a Master. Just like that. Though I hated him, always had, always would, I wasn't sure he deserved to be dishonored so much. I didn't see why Charles thought he failed.

But again, that wasn't my concern now. I had to stay focused, because Charles was coming towards me.

I still held Will with one arm. He hung loosely at my side, and I didn't think he was awake. It was for the best. If being face to face with Annabelle freaked him out, being this close to Charles would probably give him a heart attack.

"I will escort you," he said, and I saw Delilah's reaction over his shoulder. It was pretty obvious she didn't like the amount of attention I was getting from her partner.

Surely she knew I could never be his. But that didn't make her like the way he leaned into me when we stood in front of each other.

Also, not my problem.

Not yet.

It would be when I moved into Charles's family. I had no idea what it would be like. Would it be different than living with Colin? I thought for sure it would. If nothing else, Charles seemed far more willing to answer my questions and teach me about the creatures we were.

Maybe eternity with a Master like Charles who shared my interest in knowledge wouldn't be so unbearable.

I liked answers. I never realized until now how interested I was in what I was. I wondered about vampires in general, what was fact and what was fiction. But never about where I came from, my own, true vampire lineage.

It would be entertaining to find out.

And maybe having Will around with me wouldn't be so bad. We could learn about what we were together.

It would be nice to have someone to share it with.

No. I wasn't thinking straight. Maybe I was trying to look on the bright side—boy was _that_ not like me—but there was nothing good about what happened here tonight.

I had to disgrace my family, was going to kill a friend, and would soon integrate myself deeper into the vampire world.

And Charles wouldn't allow the things Declan had. He wouldn't allow me to sulk, or sneak reading books, or continue my interest in humans.

Well, maybe that last one. But my idea of being interested in humans would be way different than his.

"May I look at your human?" Charles asked with a strange squint in his eyes, and I turned to see if Will was awake, and was thankful he wasn't.

Charles stared into Will's unconscious face and squinted even harder. His focus didn't falter for over a minute, but nothing happened.

He sighed, and gave me a gravelly chuckle when he looked at me again.

"I never have been able to read humans."

"It works even when someone is unconscious?"

He nodded, and I was intrigued again, but Charles wasn't going to allow a change of topic this time.

"It is time. Please put your human inside," he motioned gracefully to the open door which I hadn't seen him open. He was very fast. But I knew he would be. He was very old.

I wondered how old he really could have been. I wondered how his ability to read vampires worked, what it felt like to him, and what all he saw when he read me.

But again I knew he wouldn't want to be taken off topic. I had to know how to sire Will, and there was a glimmer of impatience in Charles's complex tone.

I hurriedly set Will on the floor, letting him hit a little harder than I should have, and closed the door behind me as I rejoined Charles in the hallway.

It was ridiculous, but I thought at least Will was safe, alone in the room for a few minutes.

"I suppose you know nothing of becoming a sire?" Right down to business.

"Colin and I weren't exactly confidants."

Charles grinned wickedly. "No, I suppose not. When I got word something was not right with your family, I was anxious to intervene."

"You live far away, right? What brought you here today?"

"I've been keeping an eye on him. I never fully expected Colin to...rise to the occasion, if you will. My family and I were visiting another family in this area when we got word of some disturbances."

"Ahh," I said, not meaning to. I knew Charles wouldn't ignore it. I was beginning to see the similarities we shared, which was very weird. Little old me having things in common with the King of all of the vampires. Imagine that.

"Has something occurred to you, Lena?" he asked like he already knew what was on my mind.

"I just—" this might have been a good time to keep my mouth shut. Maybe Charles and I were somewhat alike, but I didn't know how he would react to me prying into his personal dealings. Anything I said had a chance of coming back to bite me. "I guess that means you have spies."

One of his eyebrows rose, and I was surprised at how good-natured it made him

look.

"Spies?" he asked.

"Someone who watches what other families do and reports back to you. I always wondered how you could be involved in all of the different families if you never visited."

"I do visit others. Just not Colin's."

"You really never liked Colin much, huh?"

He broke the eye contact we'd held since I closed the door behind me. Seconds passed and I knew he wasn't going to answer. It was nice how easy it was to converse with Charles. I seemed able to understand him, and he seemed to welcome that.

Very, very weird.

So I changed the subject, "How many other families are there?"

All right, yes, I was stalling again. But Charles was letting me.

I felt like the longer I waited to go into the room with Will, the better. It was idiotic. I'd have to go in there eventually. This had to happen at some point. But if I could give him even one more minute to be alive, I would.

"There are six in my region now. My family is the largest, of course. All of the others are skilled in whatever abilities they have passed down. One of the most interesting of them can travel among humans and vampires alike and not be noticed. They— _spy_ —for me."

Stealth-mode. He must have known I had that same ability.

They couldn't possibly be watching everyone all the time. Why was Charles spying on me? It didn't make any sense.

"When you and...and your sister were seen with your human, the news was brought to me by Quinn, a member of Locklan's family. You see now why I was so interested, and why I had to investigate."

Then it occurred to me. Everything became clear. Charles hadn't been watching me. He probably didn't even know who I was when the spy reported what happened. It was Annabelle he was watching.

He couldn't say her name.

He wouldn't even look at Lennox.

That's what she didn't want me to know. Charles was Annabelle's sire.

He could see I had realized something. I didn't know if my face showed surprise or fascination, but he saw something there and leaned in slightly, squinting.

I had to say something, change the subject. I didn't know why exactly, but I knew without a doubt Charles couldn't know I knew about Annabelle.

So I tested what I suspected he knew. "I always thought I was pretty stealthy. I could sneak around this place and the rest of my family wouldn't be able to find me."

"Except for your consort—" he said, and leaned against the wall so casually. Like we were just having a quick chat.

"How did you know?" I matched his posture and leaned against the door Will was behind. I could hear him stirring. He'd be awake for what was to come next.

Charles replied, "you are related to this family, Lena. More so than you are related to me. Patraicc sired but two males before his punishment. Declan was one. Locklan was the other. He's the Master of this family."

"If he's a Master, why isn't Declan? I mean, it sounds like Declan is way older than Colin."

"Your sire did not want to be a Master."

What kind of Master would Declan have been? Sulky and brooding. Everyone he sired would be grouchy like him. That would be a sad sight to see.

"How many are in Locklan's family?"

"Ten. And since your interest in things that do not follow seems as great as my own, I believe you would like our Locklan."

"Why?"

"Among other things, he has light, red hair," Charles chuckled as my eyebrows rose.

That really was fascinating. Declan and I both had dark hair. What must Patraicc have looked like? And if Locklan had red hair, then did all of his family have red hair? I didn't know why, but I was a little disappointed they wouldn't look like me.

"Do they have the gold ring in their eyes like Declan and I do?"

"Yes."

"Wow—" I whispered. That was what I was hoping, that there would be something that proved I belonged, and I tried to imagine it. What if I had lived in Locklan's family with Declan instead of in Colin's? Would things be different now? Would I be happier being with a family that was more like me?

I'd never know.

"I'd really like to know more about Patraicc and Locklan and his family and how Declan ended up being bossed around by Colin and—"

Charles raised his hand gracefully as if he was realizing the conversation was very off course. He must have heard Will moving around the room behind me like I did. Of course Charles could hear him too.

"Your zeal for knowledge is refreshing, but I suspect you have an ulterior motive."

"I admit I'm reluctant to do this. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't feel...qualified."

I wanted to make my concerns all about me. I wasn't positive Charles bought it. But if he knew how desperately I hated being a vampire, how completely I didn't want to make Will one of us, I imagine he'd have a far more negative reaction.

"Lena, this is part of what you are. Siring is natural."

He pulled a box out of nowhere and handed it to me. As I slowly opened it, he explained what I had to do.

"Take this dagger and open your wrist, very deep. You must make the wound last long enough to pour your blood into the human's veins. At the same time, you must drink of his blood. A lot of it, and as quickly as possible. You will know when you've taken enough. Your human will begin to feel the effects even before you are finished drinking."

I pulled the silver knife from the box and squinted as the shiny metal caught the light and reflected into my eyes.

"—and will take longer to pass out than you expect. You should feel strong and clear headed, and must watch over the human as he transforms. He will pass out once you've taken enough of his blood, but you'll already be able to feel a change in him."

There was a long piece of soft leather in the box also. It smelled like old blood, vampire and human.

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course not," Charles replied, confused. Then he realized I wasn't asking if it would hurt me. "The transformation is painful. You may need to restrain the human. It's different for each of us, but it shouldn't take long. He'll be on his way to becoming Vampire within the hour. You, as well as I, will be able to tell by his heartbeat."

Charles read the reluctance on my face. I wasn't able to mask it. Hearing what I was about to have to do, visualizing it in my head.

I wanted to run. I wanted to be as fast as Charles so I could grab Will and leave the manor before anyone could see. I wanted to save him, and get us both out of this thing.

"It must be done, Lena. Within the hour. If there are not two vampire hearts beating in that room within the hour, you know the penalty."

Everyone will die. The visions of turning Will were replaced with visions of Annabelle and Lennox lying side by side, broken and mangled as I had been less than an hour ago. I couldn't stand the image, and had to blink repeatedly to force it out of my thoughts.

"I understand," I said softly, and it was the truth. My options sucked, but I'd already made my decision. Now I just had to follow through with it.

A cold feeling snuck up my back and rested on my neck, making me want to squirm, but I wasn't allowed. Charles couldn't see it.

"It will be interesting, having you around to talk to, Lena. I think I will enjoy your company."

This was it. He wouldn't let me ask any more questions. He wouldn't let me stall any longer.

I knew my greatest asset right now was Charles's interest in me. The smartest thing I could do was keep it as long as I could.

"I hope to have many more conversations," I said in a very convincing tone. I was surprised I could pull it off.

He nodded, and then Charles was gone. The hallways were empty. But I knew every vampire in the manor knew where I was, and at least seven of them could sense me. I couldn't run.

The door felt inexplicably heavy, but I pushed it out of my way and joined Will, shutting the door securely behind me.

**

The room was freezing and dark. Will had a hard time seeing anything at all, and he thought to himself, torches are a stupid way to light a room.

But he knew he was alone. Will knew this was it. He was finally away from the creepy vampires and their bizarre way of talk-snarling. But there was little relief in it.

His lungs could fill with air again. His hands were shaking now only because his muscles were so sore. But the debilitating fear was still there, twisting deep in his stomach.

At least the ringing in his ears died away enough for him to hear Lena in the hallway.

Though he didn't care to listen to the words, he knew it was her. And it made Will feel calmer because she was with him.

He'd heard some of the conversation while Lena supported him in the other room, when what felt like a thousand vampires filed in.

Mostly though, he focused on Lena. Like he was doing now.

Will got the impression the other vampires saw him as her property now. But Lena told them no, that he was free to leave her if he wanted.

Suddenly, Will knew how much he cared for her. Maybe even loved her. Sure, it was dumb. He met her, what, yesterday? But these were extreme circumstances. Emotions had to work a little quicker than normal.

Everything was about to change. She did tell him that. He wouldn't be the same once he was like her.

He had a hard time even thinking the word that described what he would be soon. Dead. He'd be dead. But Will wouldn't allow the idea into his thoughts. He couldn't.

He had to make the most of what time he had left.

The very little amount of time.

He had to be strong, like Lena. He couldn't let her see how freaked out and scared he was.

Will Shepherd was good at hiding how he felt. It was going to be hard for Lena too, he knew. She clearly didn't like what she was, and even seemed to have pride in the fact that she was different. She was proud that she never killed anyone.

That would change for her today.

Yeah, he had to put on a mask so she didn't hate herself for it, any more than she already was bound to.

Will could do that. He felt like he could do anything. For her.

# CHAPTER 18

The rhythmic thumping of our very different heartbeats was the only sound in the room. As I entered, I looked everywhere but at Will.

I wasn't familiar with this room. I'd explored the manor plenty of times, and had happened upon this room a time or two, but took it for a spare bedroom. For new members of our family if there ever were any.

I doubted what it was being used for now was what Colin had in mind for it.

The walls were stone like the rest of the house. The ceiling was darker and rougher rock than the walls and the floor, which were smooth and pale grey. There was a bed along one wall which I instantly dismissed and torches flickering along the walls. A big, wooden chandelier hung from the ceiling. Small flames danced on it.

He breathed softly, and I finally looked at him. Either Will was feigning acceptance of the situation or actually wasn't worried. I couldn't be sure. The walls were thick and the room was sealed up tight, so whatever was happening in the rest of the manor sounded only like rustling and mumbles to me.

"What now?" he asked, taking a wobbly step closer, his arm cautiously cradling his injured bones.

He really wasn't frightened. I was about to murder him, take his life, turn him into a monster, and he was fine with it.

No. I knew of Will's ability to lie now, to hide his feelings and mask his expressions. He was gifted in deception, yet I still believed everything he did was genuine. Even his lies were true.

I had no idea what that meant. How could I trust him if I knew he lied? With so much ease?

But when I looked at him, his calm face alleviated my debate. I trusted Will. That was all there was to it. And right now he seemed so calm, so resigned to what was about to happen.

That didn't mean it wasn't strange.

Will smiled, seeming to read my silence, "suddenly eternity with you doesn't sound so terrible."

"What could possibly make you say that?"

"Well, not having a choice about the eternity part certainly has one hand in it," he paused, then gave me a sweet grin. "Having a choice about staying with you or not has the other."

I couldn't look at him. There was no getting out of this room, out of this mansion, out of this situation. And he was being so kind, though he knew quite well what was about to happen.

No more lazy afternoons on his best friends' couch. No more best friends. He wouldn't get to see them graduate. Or their wedding. Their autumn wedding in the park, with leaves at their feet. Julia with her exotic eyes wide with joy. Spencer with his good-natured sweetness, enduring her dream ceremony, just for her.

And Will wouldn't get to graduate though he had earned it yesterday.

Just yesterday.

And he would never get married, never have children, never get a job or anything he might have once seen in his future.

He'd never see his family again, and would forget them when he awoke. Erased, just like that. Because of me.

Will was so close to my face that his warm lips brushed my cheek.

Or, he had meant to do it.

I flinched away, but he grabbed my shoulders and I allowed myself to be led by his touch.

"I'm not asking for anything. And I know everything is gonna be different soon, but I want to kiss you. Just this once."

"But why?" I asked quietly, not sure how I felt or what was going on. Had he lost his mind? This was not the time.

Or maybe it was the best time for it. I didn't know. But it didn't feel right and I was scared for the life of my vampire family. We didn't have all day. How long would Charles wait? Patience was not one of his virtues, so I couldn't be sure.

"Because I'm about to die," he said.

I think he meant it as a joke, but the words sunk in as he spoke them and he broke out into a sweat as he released me.

Bowing my head, I whispered, "I'm sorry."

He took several deep breaths in a row and wrapped his arms around his battered torso. "I can't get out of this."

He wasn't asking me, he was telling himself.

"We could go to Charles. He likes me. Sort of... Maybe I could offer him something..." I rambled. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could offer. This was already a compromise Charles agreed to. He wouldn't be forgiving if I disrespected him by asking for more favors. But I could die trying.

And he would kill us all.

Will clenched his teeth and untangled his arms from around his body. He looked handsome to me then, all of a sudden. His chocolate eyes were liquid pools, so warm and with so much emotion. A lean muscled chest and stomach could be seen through his ripped t-shirt, and I remembered what I thought when I first awoke in his apartment yesterday morning. That he wasn't very tall and was rather skinny. His baggy clothes gave him that illusion, but now I could see what they'd been hiding, I knew I was wrong.

He breathed heavily. "Let's get on with it."

I couldn't move for a few seconds, and Will said nothing if he noticed my apprehension. There had to be something I could say to give him even a little reassurance.

Of course, there wasn't. He was right. I was about to kill him. He was about to die. There was no making someone feel better about that.

"We'll have to do this quickly. When I cut my wrist, there's only a short amount of time before the wound heals. We have to tie our arms together and let my blood get into your blood stream—while I'm drinking..."

"Will it hurt?" he asked with only a hint of strain in his tone.

I looked him in the eye, confident at least he could take some comfort in something today.

"It may, but you won't remember. When you awake, all of your wounds will be healed." I could have added he'd never feel pain the same way again, that he'd live forever and be strong and agile and as handsome five hundred years from now as he was right now. But my heart wasn't in it. I couldn't make myself talk up being a vampire when I loathed it so much.

"I'm ready," Will said, but there was fear in his voice now. I couldn't blame him.

Speed would be the key. I needed to cut far into my wrist and deep enough into his to open his veins. I had to bind our wrists together as quickly as possible so Will didn't lose too much blood and I didn't heal.

Then I needed to drink.

The thought didn't set well with me, but there was no going back. I wanted to go see the world, and I got to. This was my price. Will's life was the penalty I had to pay for doing something so selfish.

I couldn't change that now.

My vampire quickness came in handy as my hands swiftly went about their tasks.

Big slash.

Little slash.

I used my teeth to secure the bind around our wrists, and looked at Will's face again. He was staring at our bound wrists in surprise. I'd been fast. Maybe he hadn't even seen the movements. The pain had yet to register in his mind.

"It's time," I whispered, and he closed his eyes, reacting now at the cut I'd given him.

Something came over me, something involuntary. I suddenly wanted to place my lips on his, to give him the simple thing he'd asked for a few minutes ago. A kiss before he died. Once.

But I waited too long. The deep cut in my wrist was healing. I didn't want to have to put him through this a second time.

I had planned on biting his other wrist, because the neck, even though all the other vampires thought it was the convention, still felt so intimate to me. But now, since there was no time to give him what he asked, to kiss him once, I could give him this.

He wouldn't know what it meant, what it meant to me. But it was all I could do with the time we had left.

I moved my mouth slowly to his neck, reluctant to touch him. But time was running out, and I had to move quickly.

He was feverish, but what human wouldn't be. The fact that he was still keeping his composure was a testament to how exceptional he was. His breathing was erratic and his heart knocked against his chest, but he stayed on his feet and did not protest.

My mouth finally made contact with him, and I closed my lips around the curve of his neck. We were so close. My entire body pressed against his, my left hand resting on his chest. This was the second time we'd been this close, and it felt even more incredible than the first.

What I had to do was especially awful because I realized how wonderful it felt being so close to him.

Gently, I placed blunt teeth to his skin and he took in a quick gasp of air.

I didn't want to do this. My body ached to stop, to push Will away and do whatever I could so he didn't have to suffer this fate.

The moment my tongue found his racing pulse, my fangs extended swiftly. Involuntarily. Like jackhammers, piercing deep into him. The warm liquid rushed into me but I refused to close my eyes. I refused to enjoy it.

Instead I focused with all the will power in me on anything else I could. The quickening of his heart and breath. The stillness of the air in the room. The flickering of the flames. The way the stone ceiling was a different texture and color than the walls and the floor.

To my surprise, the wound on my wrist was still open and bleeding. I thought it would be healed by now. But maybe this was part of it. Maybe this was the way.

Will wilted in my arms. He'd lost consciousness already, which was also unexpected. I'd only taken a few gulps and nothing seemed at all different about him. He looked the same, smelled the same. Even his heart pounded in his chest at the same, quick, human rate. Things weren't going like Charles told me they would at all.

But it didn't matter.

This was happening. I was feeling light-headed. There was no going back now.

I used to think I was so noble, so much better than the others. I would _never_ take someone's life. I would _never_ force a human to suffer how I have suffered.

Suffered? No, I knew now I never really had. I didn't get my way, and didn't like the rules. I was a child who didn't know any better, but that didn't make it okay.

Colin was right, I was pathetic.

The room danced and my stomach twisted as I pulled away from his neck, careful not to make the punctures any worse. I struggled to untie the rope binding our wrists together and wiped off what remained of my blood on his arm, not knowing why I did it.

I felt sick, but cautiously laid Will down, being extra careful not to be too rough, not to hit his head on the stone floor. Once my arms were free of him, I stumbled and fell to my knees.

The dizziness lingered in my head and didn't ease up at all. My skin crawled and tickled in a way I was sure it wasn't supposed to.

Maybe this was normal. Maybe...

As my body gave way under its own weight, I caught a blurry glimpse of him. He breathed, but his face was still. Blood trickled from Will's throat and wrist and I felt his blood in my stomach churn.

As I passed out, the last lucid thought I had was that I never wanted to wake up.

I wished I were dead.

**

His cry broke through the midnight sky and nothing stirred, as if nothing had happened at all.

It infuriated Declan further, and he let everything go. He collapsed onto the lush grass and dismissed all restraint. His strength left him, his self-control and discipline, that which he had perfected over his many centuries, denying who he really was disintegrated.

This was who he really was. Rash. Impulsive. Passionate above all.

He needed to be as far from the manor as he could get. Declan was on the edge of Colin's property and could block the sense of where Lena was in the house as long as he did not try to focus on her.

He could not bear thinking of what was happening.

Images of that human being bitten by his Lena plagued him. Declan remembered it as an intimate moment. The act itself, of wounding her wrist, of drinking from her neck was not what he remembered. But the closeness of it. Her body leaning against his for strength. The perfect gentleness of her touch. Her supportive words.

Her last day of classes that semester was on the day before her birthday. She did not want to leave before then. Her conscientious nature would not allow it. She chose the day, and Declan was going to deny his family forever and disappear with her. To spend only a handful of wonderful years by her side. There was no doubt in Declan's mind that this sacrifice would be worth it.

Colin and the others did not know her then. And Declan was skilled at cloaking his location. They would have been able to be together. For all of her life. And Lena could have had her family.

But Colin arrived that night, concerned over Declan's extended silence. And by the next day, by Lena's twentieth birthday, Declan turned her into a monster.

Declan explained to her Colin would not let them leave his presence. If only Lena left, she knew Colin would destroy Declan, for nothing more than defying his wishes. She understood Colin immediately.

She made the decision. Lena said she would sacrifice everything she knew for him, because Declan had been willing to sacrifice the same for her.

Lena had reassured him once they were put into the transformation room. Not the other way around, like custom required. She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered.

Everything will be okay. I love you with everything I am and anything I ever could be. It's okay. We belong to each other.

And Declan believed her.

Perhaps he still did, even though he knew better. His Lena would never forgive him.

Would she? Eventually?

Maybe he could fight for her. After all, she had refused to take that human as her consort, which meant only one thing to Declan.

He still had some semblance of a chance.

He knew he could make it work. Yes, she was not the same person he had fallen in love with those short decades ago. But together they had chosen this existence for her. He was just as, if not more responsible for everything that had transpired.

And the cold, controlled vampire she was now was all that was left of the woman who changed Declan's life

It would not be easy, and she may never love him the way she once did, and the way he loved her. But he had to try.

Everything suddenly seemed clear.

Declan would be different now. He could be worthy. Without the boundaries of living in Colin's family, without the oppression of rules and limitations, perhaps she could care for him again one day.

_I am a good man_ , Declan thought, and it stunned him.

He had not thought of himself as a man for so long, the idea of it only a few days ago would have been ludicrous. But suddenly, in that moment, Declan truly believed he could be better. Be a better man.

After all, were vampires not capable of love? Of passion and desire and hope? These very human qualities only had meaning when there was finality to life.

When there was life.

# CHAPTER 19

There was a terrible taste in my mouth as I awoke. Metallic and strange, like a flavor I knew didn't belong there. I ran my tongue along my teeth. When I reached one of my canines, I instantly realized what was in my mouth.

Blood. That is the taste of blood.

The image of butterscotch popped into my head. Of all the bizarre things to be thinking about now. Creamy and rich, vibrant tan and sticky. Warmed up, on top of vanilla ice cream. Like my mom made it. That had been my favorite.

What the hell is going on?

There were no sounds, wherever I was. I only realized I hadn't opened my eyes yet when I felt movement somewhere in the room. That was when I opened my eyes, wide, as wide as I could, and tried to make sense of what was happening.

I was curled up on a hard, cold surface. The ceiling was grey rock, so I figured it was the same as the floor. My toes moved normally, so I didn't think I was badly hurt. I moved my ankles and wrists next, and a sharp sting registered from my right arm. At first, I thought I might have fractured my distal radius, the pain was in the right spot. But looking down, I saw the coagulated blood and a half-closed wound.

Was it my blood in my mouth?

What a strange thing to wonder. Who else's would it be?

Satisfied that seemed to be my only injury after scanning the rest of my body for pain, I focused on the figure in the room. My eyes were blurry and the room was dark, lit with torches along the walls. Not the best for seeing.

"Are you okay?" the man said. He had a young, pleasant voice that made me feel safe even though I had no reason to think I was.

I didn't bother trying to speak. There was nothing to say, and I had to get my brain working right before I even attempted to hold a conversation with anyone.

I knew who I was. That was something. I kept my name. I was Lena.

Lena... Lena what?

Bailey. Lena Marion Bailey.

Oh my God, what about my family?

Too many images flashed through my mind and none of it made sense. There were two sets of people I saw. One set was pale and ethereally beautiful, with strange, pale blue eyes and no smiles. The other was tan and warm. They looked like me.

Think, Lena. You are smarter than this.

Maybe I hit my head.

No, I can remember. I focused on the three people with warm smiles who didn't give me goose bumps. There was a man, a woman, and a young boy, probably in his early teens.

It was Linus, my brother. Linus Matthew Bailey.

My parents were Lori and Lance Bailey.

Oh, Mom and Dad—Lance, Lori, Lena and Linus. God, we are lame!

I remembered playing tag with my little brother in the backyard of our small, yellow house. We hid and ran and giggled, and Mom was the only place we were safe from each other. We called her 'home'.

My dad and I would walk our dog every night, just the two of us. He would listen to every childish story I had to tell, every detail of my monotonous day, and laugh and ask questions because he loved to listen to me, and truly wanted to know.

Our dog, Logan—oh, geez—would be waiting for me at the front door when I got home from school, and his whole body would wag when I got inside. He'd lick my face and run in circles. He always made me smile, no matter how bad my day had been.

The young man in the room was talking to me, but I didn't hear him. His voice was getting louder, but I couldn't worry about him now. I had to figure things out first.

There was a second set of faces, the strange ones that looked nothing like me. Seven of them. At first glance, their eyes were pale blue, and most of them had dark, wavy hair framing their pale faces.

But there were three of them that caught my attention. Two were blonde, and though their eyes were pale blue, they seemed different somehow. Deeper, like staring into the depths of the ocean.

And the one who stood alone. He was fascinating to think of. I felt like I could think about him forever.

"Lena!" I heard the young man say. He was looking me over, like something was wrong. Now I knew the young man knew me well enough at least to know my name. That was something.

_Lena_ , I heard a familiar voice ring in my head, mirroring the young man. _Do not be so childish. You are not special as you think you are. The sooner you understand this, the better for us all._

Colin. I knew who it was, but didn't understand what it all meant yet. I did know I didn't like him.

A much kinder voice mirrored Colin's harsh words. Lennox whispered, in the playful tone I somehow knew he always had.

Lena, please don't be upset.

I don't feel like I belong here, Lennox. I don't fit. And I know I'm not supposed to feel like this.

You are special, little one. But probably not in the way you think. Time and patience. All will be clear one day.

My voice didn't sound like mine. But I knew it was me.

The young man in the room came into focus, and I knew I knew him too, that his name was Will, that I could trust him. He'd proven I could.

Will looked frustrated and about ready to collapse. I wished I were able to console him. I felt fine. There was no need to be upset. But my voice was lost.

I felt my thoughts back away into the recesses of my mind. I was headed into the woods, certain I'd never find my way back again.

Maybe I should have made more of an effort to stay focused, to reach out, to stay grounded, but I couldn't. I had to remember. Whatever else that was going on had to wait.

**

Her hair was straight and lifeless, like it hadn't been washed in too long. Not to mention, about five shades lighter than it had been before he passed out. Again.

Will whispered her name as loudly as he dared until he had no more energy, even after he understood that she wasn't going to respond.

Finally giving up, Will let his body collapse to the cold floor. It made his ribcage scream with pain.

He had been standing only because of adrenaline, and now, every muscle in his body throbbed from overuse. Blood trickled from his wrist, so he took off what was left of his t-shirt carefully, moving his painful ribs as little as possible, and ripped the shirt. Once his wrist was bandaged and pressed another piece of his shirt to his throbbing neck, he leaned forward and tried to put the pieces together.

His thoughts dwelled on the memory of asking Lena for a kiss before she bit him. It was embarrassing, and Will didn't know why he couldn't shake the thoughts. There were more important things to worry about right now, but he couldn't help it.

It was dumb of him. Maybe he just wanted to feel something real, something good and normal before everything normal was taken away from him. But Will knew it was simpler than that.

He loved her.

The thought hit him like when it rained even though the sun was shining. It was so unexpected, Will had to blink a few times to believe it was real.

When had it happened? How did he miss it? When Will was back at his apartment, which felt like days ago, he was sure he didn't have those kinds of feelings for her. What changed? He wanted to go back to the beginning and replay every moment they'd spent together in his head so he could figure it out. Surely there'd be an explanation in there somewhere, if he searched for it.

But before he got anywhere, there were sounds at the door. Will couldn't hear exactly, but someone was on the other side. If someone came in now to check on them, Will had a feeling it wouldn't be a good thing.

He scrambled from the floor, trying to keep his middle from moving much, and hurriedly pushed a chair to the door, hoping to keep it closed.

When the lock clicked, the door was open in a flash, and the chair he'd placed in front of it flew across the room and crashed against the far wall.

Of course.

He should have known. Will didn't think he would ever get used to these things.

"What has happened? Why haven't you—" the scary little blonde stopped, and was instantly standing above Lena, whose eyes were open, but it was clear that no one was home.

"What has happened here?" the blonde asked Will, who couldn't believe she was talking directly to him.

"I don't know. We did the...the ritual or whatever. I woke up, and she was like this."

"And you're bleeding. And still... And she's..." she uncharacteristically blinked and returned her stare to Lena.

Will waited, watching the blonde and trying to figure out what she was thinking. If she felt any emotion, it didn't show on her face.

"Something didn't go right?" Will asked, reluctantly stepping towards Lena.

The blonde flinched, and Will stopped. He pressed the piece of shirt harder to his neck and realized he'd better stay as far from the blonde as he could. A bleeding neck was too much of a temptation, even though Will could see her fangs weren't extended like he'd seen Lena's before.

"I don't understand," the blonde whispered, and Will tried not to gawk. She suddenly looked so vulnerable and frail. A hint of emotion shone on her face and made Will see her for the first time as something other than a monster.

Really, she was gorgeous. He was too preoccupied by being frightened of her to see it before, but the soft nest of golden hair framed her other-worldly face and as her big, icy eyes gazed at the lump of Lena on the floor, she seemed sad.

Then she looked at him again, and Will couldn't see her beauty anymore. She was a monster again, and seemed on the verge of tearing his throat out at any minute.

The blonde stepped back from Lena and turned away from her. Though she didn't say anything, somehow moments later, another vampire entered the room.

Will knew this was her boyfriend. They took each other's hands as soon as they could and stood closer than friends would.

If they were talking out loud only for his sake, Will was surprised. That the boyfriend didn't look so scary was a miracle. But there wasn't time to consider these things.

"Human," the boyfriend said, but it didn't sound as condescending as it could have. "Are you fit to travel?"

Will was so shocked a vampire other than Lena would ask about his wellbeing, he said he was fine before he really gave it thought. He'd lost a lot of blood, and felt pretty weak. Looking down at his shirtless chest, he saw how bruised he was and only momentarily felt self-conscious about not being fully clothed.

But he knew the vampires wouldn't look at him twice. Not in that way, anyway.

He hadn't slept or eaten in way too long and the stupid house they were in was too dark and cold to allow him to concentrate. The past several hours, he'd spent in and out of consciousness, fainting from fear of all things.

No, maybe he wasn't able to handle anything more today. A root beer float, a piece of lasagna, a few phone calls, and a warm bed. Nothing else seemed possible.

But the boyfriend motioned from him to Lena and Will knew what he had to do. And somehow even understood their reasoning behind it. Will had to stay close to Lena, to help her.

"Follow us," he heard the boyfriend say.

Will took Lena's hand in his. It was sticky and hot, and didn't grip his hand back. The blonde and her boyfriend were already out the door and Will in some way knew, even in his worn out state he and Lena were dead meat if they didn't stay with them.

Lifting Lena to her feet even though it ignited his bruised chest, Will half dragged her behind. She was able to stay upright, but was still far from lucid. He would have to lead her.

Catching a glimpse of her eyes which didn't look the same as he remembered, Will took a double take. Was it just the bad lighting? But there wasn't time to know for sure. Grasping her hand even tighter, Will scurried to catch up with the vampires, who were impatiently waiting in the hallway.

Will couldn't imagine a way out of the house without running into other vampires, the ones that wouldn't be so helpful. There had to be hundreds of them. What did the blonde and her boyfriend think they were going to do?

"Keep Lena safe. Stay behind us."

The blonde's voice was affecting. Though Will didn't know why she would be helping, he suddenly trusted her with his life. Even if Lena was the blonde's only concern, Will saw her as beautiful again.

It occurred to him then. Enough understanding hit to figure it out.

The further they were apart, the more obvious it would be to the rest of the vampires.

Of course. That was what happened. It took Will way longer than it should have to comprehend.

Something weird happened. Backfired. Reversed.

Will's exhausted mind had a hard time understanding it any further. All Will knew was, he was still human.

And now, so was Lena.

# CHAPTER 20

The images flickered in my head at first like pictures in a slide show.

These were my memories too, I realized as the images became clearer. It happened to me. This used to be me.

I knew it was the truth of my past like I knew Will held my hand and that Annabelle was risking her life to protect me. It felt like so long ago, like something I knew happened because there were photographs as a record but wasn't sure I actually had any memory of it.

Declan, with his bare, pale, muscular chest lay in my old bed, in my old dorm room, with his arms around her naked shoulders. My naked shoulders. A content stare set his beautiful face aglow. His soft blue eyes with their ring of gold sparkled like I'd never seen them...never _remembered_ seeing them.

She breathed deeply, catching her breath. Sweat glistened off the moonlight out the open window on her tanned, smooth skin. He kissed her forehead and she nuzzled his neck, sighing into him with serene pleasure.

"If I could live one day over," she whispered in his ear, "I'd pick this day." She slowly kissed him with so much passion, I could feel my heart speed up and my stomach tighten.

Blood rushed to my cheeks as the memory got more vivid, more intense. Part of me knew I needed to reel in what I was feeling, concentrate on what was going on now.

But I also knew if I was going to die tonight, I would not be able to stop it. Only Annabelle and Lennox stood between Will and my death.

All I had to do was stay on my feet, keep hold of Will's hand, stay behind Annabelle.

So I let the memory shower over me like hot water.

**

Will felt like none of the vampires even saw him. They probably didn't. In the insanity of the fight, Will most likely looked like a slow, little rodent to them.

Maybe a slow, little, sizzling strip steak.

The fear inside him had been so great for so long, ever since they entered the vampire's lair really, that by now, in the heat of the scariest part of the day, Will kind of felt calm.

Whatever was going to happen was going to happen. If the blonde and her boyfriend didn't win the fight, death would be quick for him. They wouldn't bother hurting him. He wasn't worth their time.

And Will suspected the initial fear that he felt when being face to face with vampires was wearing off. He thought he was getting used to them, as if their creepiness was something humans could adjust to.

_Humans_ , Will chuckled at his own use of the word.

And there weren't nearly as many vampires in the house as Will thought. He scanned the room and estimated twenty, but figured there were more in the first room they had been in, the big room with the funny looking throne in the middle.

The blonde, Annabelle, wasn't half as scary as she was when he first saw her. Even despite the inch-long canine teeth in her mouth.

Each of the dozen or so vamps Will could see had extended fangs, all an inch long or more. It should have terrified him.

Watching Annabelle and her boyfriend fight was awesome. They were a team, and would play off each other's punches. She seemed to have the power while he maneuvered vampire after vampire into place. It was all strange, but amazing.

Apparently, there was only one way out of the big house. If there were another way, surely the blonde would be taking them through a less populated area. It seemed like every vampire in the place was in their way.

As the pair fought, Will's tired mind wandered, even though he knew how hilarious it was that he wasn't more concerned. He figured it was because he was giddy with fear and hunger, with living through certain death and still being mostly uninjured.

Whatever the reason, Will enjoyed the relaxation coming over him, and the absurdity of it considering what was going on. He chuckled softly to himself as he realized it was only yesterday morning when his biggest worry was getting to class on time. Will's chuckles turned to a sharp laugh as the boyfriend sent a male vampire flying across the room as easily as it would have been to toss a basketball down the court.

Feeling a little less freaked out now meant he could observe. And his attention was on the leader vampire who stood in a corner with a twisted grin on his strangely expressive face.

Though Will could not hear, the conversation taking place between the professional wrestler vampire and the leader vampire was obvious.

_Interesting_ , the expression on the leader's face said. His attention was on Lena, and he looked worried. Will didn't know why he wouldn't be mad like the others were.

He seemed like he was waiting for something.

But then he turned to the wrestler and commanded, _bring her to me_.

_The others, my King?_ Will imagined the bulky one asked as he glanced at the blonde and her boyfriend.

The leader took a moment to decide, and even Will with his human eyesight and his normal, human observation skills could see the uncertainty on his enigmatic face.

Will looked down at Lena who was still clutching his hand, but knelt on the ground, bracing her fragile body with her other hand on the cold, stone floor. She still hadn't said a word since they awoke. In shock, he imagined. Zoned out.

What would she have said? Will knew something went wrong. And by the look on the vampire's faces, this was not something that was supposed to happen.

Obviously, since Will was not a vampire. And neither was Lena.

_Duh_.

Maybe something snapped, Will thought. Maybe changing back into a human meant there was nothing of her left in there.

But he knew Lena was stronger than that, _felt_ it like a truth he'd always known. She didn't need protection, she didn't need to be saved.

Well, _before_ , anyway.

What would she be like now? If they survived, that is?

At that moment, Lena's head rose and she blinked up at him, then turned her attention to Annabelle slowly and watched as the little blonde monster barreled her fist into another vampire's chest, bones crunching under her blow.

"Annabelle," Lena whispered. Will didn't think the blonde could possibly have heard her, but she nodded once at Lena and retook her battle stance. "There's another way out."

The little blonde narrowed her ice eyes at Lena and didn't move.

Lifting her face to meet the blonde's stare, Lena did not blink. "It is hidden. No one will be guarding it."

"Are you sure?" the blonde said softly, then growled a warning at an approaching vampire three times her size.

Lena groaned as she pushed herself up from the ground with one hand and pulled on Will's with the other. It hurt his chest, but Will didn't care. Lena was going to be okay.

"Yes," was all she replied.

Will didn't see the blonde motion for her boyfriend, but he was beside her an instant later. They didn't say anything that Will could see, though everyone but him seemed to know what to do.

One last glance at the leader vampire and his wrestler sidekick, and Will shuddered. They were staring at the group, not moving. Like they were in a painting.

And the leader vampire didn't look worried anymore.

He looked thrilled.

**

It was hard to run without the use of both my hands, but I wasn't about to let Will's grip go. I was positive if I let go, even for a second, they'd get him.

And it would be my fault. I got him into this. I was the reason he was here. I had to get him out of it. Or at least try.

The memory of the cellar no one else probably even knew about came to me in a flicker of images just as my memory of Declan had.

I felt my body grow hot thinking of him, and I forced my thoughts back to that cellar door.

Often I would roam the large mansion and would find hidden passages and out of the way corridors to hide in. The family mostly stayed in the upper levels of the house where there was a "living" area— _that_ was practically hilarious to me now—and our individual, adjoining private bedrooms.

I could usually spend a day hiding in a place once I found one. The morning was the best time to disappear, and on that morning, my birthday, I'd found the kitchen and the hidden cellar door.

Because they had finally found my books. Because they took the last thing that I found any comfort in away from me.

And that cellar practically called to me. Like it had been waiting for me to find on that day. Like a present. Only now did I understand it was a twenty-year-belated present from Declan.

It was how I'd escaped. It hadn't been hard. Because somewhere, locked in my mind was the memory of Declan taking me, still human to the cellar, showing me the only safe way out. He tried to save me one last time, at the last minute.

But I refused to leave him.

And by the next day, I was a cold, dead, unfeeling vampire who hated him.

I was only twenty. I hadn't known the price big decisions could force me to pay.

My wonderful Declan's gift was under the island in the kitchen, which was laughably called a kitchen. Colin must have bought his Castle, not had it built for himself a few hundred years ago like I thought. Vampires had no need for kitchens. Refrigerators, sure, but what would they need to cook?

We had refrigerators. In another locked room. Colin kept the only key.

Which meant we had electricity. All along? God, Colin is such a pompous ass.

I remembered the kitchen had been locked. Dust covered every inch of the large, ancient room. It looked like a staff of fifty would have worked in it.

And I remembered it clearly, the smell of stale air, the darkness.

I wondered if Colin even knew it was there, and doubted it. He wouldn't have cared. I bet he had it boarded up the day he moved in, falsely confident it would never be found.

But as the four of us ran through the mansion, through the halls that had been my home for twenty years, my thoughts finally clicked into place. At that moment, as if distraction allowed me to gain access to it all, everything came flooding in.

All I chose to give up.

I had been smart. Completing my sophomore year had proven I was where I needed to be. I was going to be a doctor. I'd been accepted into a competitive Pre-Med program. Only two others in my class had made the cut. I'd been so proud to tell my family.

My little brother would be thirty-five now. My parents would be twenty years older too. And they probably thought I was dead.

I _was_ dead.

I could never see them again. Not the way I looked. The way I still looked. Twenty years later, their still-twenty year old daughter shows up? Sure.

Nothing flickered in a jumble of images anymore. It crashed down on me in a painful jolt, and I remembered all of it, both of my lives perfectly. And all of the little decisions that took me from one to the other.

Declan and I making love on a neglected bridge as a summer storm swept through, our bodies drenched with raindrops from running along the deserted, gravel road as the clouds rolled in.

Declan and I resenting each other for two decades, me resenting him because of things I didn't understand. Him resenting me because of what I let him take from me. From us both.

Twenty years wasted in the cold. With Declan who meant nothing to me without the human feelings he gave me. Who I couldn't love because he murdered me.

I was such an idiot.

When all was said and done, when the decision had to be made, I made it. I chose this life. I made my Declan change me.

For all of my vampire life, I blamed everyone else. Colin. Declan. Anyone at all, but never the one who deserved it the most.

Me.

But there was nothing I could do about that now. What I did was done.

My sweet, sexy, brave Declan would forgive me. I'd already forgiven him for his part.

All I could do was make the best of what was to come. If anything was to come.

Annabelle grabbed my arm and pulled me to her. I knew she didn't mean to pull so hard, but it hurt. There was a pop inside my arm as she yanked the joint. It was lucky she hadn't ripped the entire thing off.

"Run and don't look back."

Although Will was pulling me in the opposite direction—away from the kitchen, I might add—I resisted. This couldn't be the last time I saw Annabelle and Lennox. If I left them, I may never get to see them again.

I had to use my time wisely. They were risking their lives for me. I had to tell them what they meant to me.

"We will meet you in the kitchen," Lennox added when his partner didn't understand my reluctance.

I let go of Will's hand, though he didn't make it easy for me, and threw my arms around Annabelle's neck. She stiffened and held her breath, probably completely confused about what I was doing.

Pulling away, I kissed her cheek. "I love you."

She didn't move. I didn't expect her to understand, or to say anything. I knew I should have been more cautious. My sister or not, there was human blood on me, and she was still a vampire.

I turned to Lennox, who was watching with his handsome mouth hanging open, and put my hands on his muscular forearms.

"Thank you for what you're doing. Thank you for everything. I love you both."

And finally Will was able to pull me along with him, and I didn't fight it.

"We'll wait for you," I said back in a normal volume. Though we were far down the hall and when I turned back, my family was already gone, I knew they heard me.

It was easy to steer Will in the right direction. We were both so exhausted, it was a miracle we could remain on our feet, let alone run. Stumbling was more like it. Neither of us were able to find our footing on the irregular, stone floor.

There weren't any monsters lurking in the shadows, at least not yet. Or maybe I didn't know they were there. It wasn't easy to see too much in front of us since the halls were lit by torches. They'd been annoying to me before, when I was a vampire. But it was practically pitch black to me now.

Of course it was.

Torches were a silly form of lighting.

But we were somehow able to keep moving forward. When one of us would fall, the other would help the other up.

When we reached the first level, then the door to the kitchen, I was surprised the door was still open, ripped from the doorframe with one, easy yank. Or, was it maybe even opened wider than I'd left it? I wasn't sure, but I'd expected it to be closed, locked, dead bolted and sealed shut, even more secure than when I found it yesterday.

Just yesterday.

How could so much change in so little time?

I guessed that was how things were. Nothing happened for a very long time. But when something did happen, it changed the game entirely.

Will and I had yet to say anything to each other. It was weird, but we didn't have to. He knew what my expression meant, and his immediate movement was his response. There was no reason to chat. There was nothing to say. I was grateful to have him with me, even if it was selfish. I hoped he was happy I was there with him.

The room was completely dark since there were no flickering torches on the walls, badly lighting the room. And it smelled differently than I remembered. But everything would be different now. Anything I'd experienced while a vampire would be different.

Like the human stuff had been.

That part hadn't hit me yet. There hadn't been time. Things did feel different. I felt _completely_ different. But exploring the extent of it would have to wait.

Will squeezed my hand for reassurance and camaraderie and we stepped through the threshold.

Immediately, a torch was lit and the familiar scene of the kitchen dimly flickered in the light of the flame. There was only one difference in the room than I remembered. It took my drained mind seconds to understand what it was, even though once I realized it, it was obvious.

Delilah stood in the middle of the room, lighting a third torch even though I didn't see her light the second one. My human eyes were no match for vampire speed.

My human body was no match for vampire strength.

And in that moment, with the loathing in Delilah's hideous sneer as her attention turned to me, I knew how much she would enjoy what she was about to do.

She and Viola would sure get along well.

# CHAPTER 21

The sun would finally rise soon. Declan felt like it had been a year since the last sun rose in the sky. He despised the thought of a new day and of the pinks and purples lighting the sky, announcing the sun's approach.

_The day could not begin this way_ , Declan thought. All that had happened would become real in the harsh light of day.

Declan was in the middle of the lawn where the little oasis was. Green plants and running water smelled of rain and earth. Everything seemed brighter for some reason. Colors were more vibrant, smells were stronger.

Howls and wails came from the mansion. He was far enough away to be able to block out Lena's presence as long as his concentration stayed focused. Declan did not want to know where she was. If she were on the move, it was done. She already sired that human. And those howls and wails were the sounds of rejoicing at the newest members of the family.

Declan did not want to know. As long as he focused, he could avoid knowing for a little while longer.

It took Lena nearly twelve hours to go through the transformation. That was not normal. Her body seemed determined even from the beginning to reject the vampire way of life. But Declan's blood was stronger than hers. It was inevitable it would win. But she did put up quite a fight.

It was a violent transformation as well. He had to restrain her and leave the room more than a few times, it was so excruciating. As she grew stronger, Declan could not even continue holding onto her. Eventually, nothing was sufficient to contain her. He had to watch helplessly as his wonderful little Lena ground her bones into the floor and smashed her head into the stone walls.

Although it pained him to admit, Declan hoped the change would not be as awful for that human. He did not want his Lena to have to endure what he had to endure. As it was, she may never be able to forgive herself.

His love for Lena, his determination to win over her affection was set. But it could not begin today. Not with the new vampire to train and the new family to integrate into.

No, this was not the day.

Declan felt certain he could convince Charles to allow him to move back in with his family. He had lived there for many hundreds of years before Colin. Charles liked Declan, respected him even. Despite Charles's interest in Lena, Declan was confident the Vampire King would not leave him to fend for himself.

Though that was now Declan's complete intention. Someday, Lena would come around. He was still her sire, her partner. They were bound for eternity. As long as they continued to live under the same roof, Declan could gain her affections.

He would have to try harder. He would have to work at it. But it would be done.

There was no longer an option.

The confidence Declan felt was familiar, like some memory from long ago he had forgotten until now. He had not felt this self-assured since—since—

The howls and wails grew louder, and the sounds reverberated through the air and encircled Declan. It did not sound jubilant.

Perhaps Charles changed his mind about something and the news did not set well with one of the others. But he was still in the Main Hall, exactly where he was when Declan last saw him. If something was happening of interest to him, he would not have remained there.

Perhaps Colin's respect snapped and he was staging a rebellion. But he was in his room with Viola, no doubt barricaded in by his own choice. Colin would not want to witness the rest, like Declan, only for far different reasons. He would wait for the excitement to end, and only then would he emerge to figure out what to do next, now his power had been stripped.

Perhaps Lena...

No, Declan could not focus on her. Letting the idea in gave him a minuscule glimpse of where she was. She was on the move and something was not right. But he did not want to know any more.

Shaking his head, he turned his attention to the sky.

"Rise already," Declan growled to the horizon, to the pinks and purples of the sunrise. He could no longer stand the wait.

Only time could bring him what he desired.

**

The masculine female vampire snarled and snapped, flashing her fully extended fangs at Will and Lena. Mostly at Lena.

Will would be an afterthought for the monster. Dessert. It was clear she was not there for him.

No one moved. The flickering of the torches made the shadows in the room dance across the faces of the two women, and Will had to remind himself to breathe.

But it was easy now, not to be too scared. All of his adrenaline had been used up. His body and mind were exhausted beyond anything he'd ever felt before. Will was just happy he was still on his feet, still holding his head up. And that Lena was okay.

If they made it out alive, it would be a miracle.

That they made it this far and were still alive was already a miracle.

Lena didn't seem as worn out as Will felt, but she had to be. She hadn't eaten...well, in two decades. Would the blood she drank from him not a half hour ago still sustain her?

He held back the desire to gag at the thought.

"I know why you think you have to do this," Lena said, boldly taking a step in front of Will, who didn't protest. He was shocked she was speaking to the vampire woman so confidently.

The vampire spat her words in a high-pitched screech that rang in Will's ears. "What could you know, human?"

"You think he will want to turn me back. You think he will get rid of you like he got rid of the others, and take me for his new consort."

The vampire's expression was undeniable. Lena had hit a chord.

Will didn't think she thought it through all that well. Antagonizing a predator you were trapped in a room with didn't seem like the best idea to him. But they were still alive. That was something.

Besides, Will didn't feel compelled to take the reins from Lena. His contribution would be to cower behind her, and feel emasculated about it later.

"I will leave this place. We will disappear."

"He will find you."

"I don't want Charles."

"Do not _dare_ speak my King's name," the creature squawked, spit dripping from her watering mouth and off the tips of her long fangs.

Will couldn't figure out how she could be so relaxed, but Lena responded calmly, in an almost cavalier tone. "I don't want to be a vampire."

"My King will not consider that a concern."

Watching the back of Lena's head like it would give him some answers if he stared hard enough, Will understood how very little he knew about this world, their way of life. Or death. Maybe Lena's experience gave her the assurance that she could talk their way out of this. Or bide their time.

Looking around the dim room, Will couldn't see any weapons, not that he felt the urge to use any. It was obviously a kitchen, but there were no cleavers or knives conveniently located within arm's reach like there would have been in the movies. There were no utensils, no pots and pans. Nothing to defend themselves with whatsoever.

Not that it would have done any good. But putting up a fight, even a little, pointless one would be nice.

Lena finally spoke again after what seemed like forever to Will. "You cannot drink our blood. Even getting it on you may be dangerous."

This made the vampire woman shut her menacing mouth and straighten up slightly. "Dangerous? That's absurd."

"Have you ever heard of a vaccine?"

The vampire squinted and tilted her head to the side. "Vaccine?"

"Or...antibodies?"

The vampire squinted even harder.

"Our blood now contains antibodies against vampire blood. This is why when I drank from him, I returned to human form. Are you prepared to be human again?"

"I—" the vampire began, but she was completely upright now, no longer in position to pounce.

Lena continued, taking another bold and impressive step toward the hesitating vampire.

"If you have contact with our blood, what happened to me will happen to you. Do you remember being human, Delilah? What are you, two hundred years old?"

"Two hundred forty four," she muttered, and it was obvious she didn't mean to say it out loud.

Will was possibly starting to see vampires better. Maybe they weren't all that different than humans after all.

"Who knows what being human again would be like for you. I was only twenty."

The vampire nodded, and the next second, the blonde and her boyfriend flanked her, grabbing her arms and forcing her into the center of the kitchen. She hadn't noticed their approach, and Will knew her heightened senses should have picked up on it.

"Was that true?" Will whispered to Lena, who was watching with wide eyes at the three vampires struggling.

"I have absolutely no idea," she said, not taking her eyes off what was happening. Lena shrugged her shoulders. "It could be."

Will was surprised he could chuckle. "That was pretty brilliant."

"I was pretty smart once."

"Release me this instant. Would you harm your King's consort?" the vampire woman said arrogantly.

The blonde released the other vampire's arm and walked away. The boyfriend didn't let her go, and remained clutching her. Though she was trying to act like she wasn't, she was straining to get away from him.

"I will not do anything to Charles's consort. You are right, Delilah." She turned to Lena expectantly, and Lena somehow knew what she was asking.

"Under this island," she pointed, and the blonde disappeared. Will didn't see her go.

As both of the humans were looking the other way after the blonde, trying to see where she went, a shriek pierced their ears. It all happened so fast, there wasn't time for them to fight or flee.

The vampire's teeth were inches from Lena's face. She snarled, and then the blonde's boyfriend was beside her. Will hadn't been able to see their movements. Just their destinations.

"No," he said simply, but the vampire woman lunged.

It took their human eyes many blinks to figure out what had happened. First, they saw the vampire woman's distorted face, her mouth straining in pain.

Then, they saw the extinguished torch that ran through her chest and out the other side.

**

I couldn't believe Lennox could kill someone.

Sure, Delilah would have probably killed us in spite of the lie I told her. She could always snap our necks or set us on fire. There were millions of ways to kill someone without spilling their blood.

Delilah's white skin grew slowly waxy and grey, like the preserved skin of a cadaver. As it began coming away from the bone, I took in the look of horror on her face locked in place. Her teeth were clenched but her mouth was open. I knew the look. She had been in pain and terrified when Lennox stabbed her.

I didn't want to watch, but couldn't make my eyes look away, or even blink.

Will was frozen several steps behind me, no longer close enough to grasp my hand for the first time since I awoke. The distance was weird. I was still getting used to feeling the human way. It didn't come as naturally as I thought it would. Everything was harder. Breathing, standing, focusing. I had to work at every little thing.

My stomach leapt as Delilah's skin shriveled and wrinkled, turning her into an old lady in seconds. Black blood like tar oozed through her thinning skin which was falling off in clumps.

My body wanted to throw up. It was a strange feeling after twenty mostly-dead years, and I didn't like it.

My head was dizzy and the meager contents of my stomach stirred, but I heard his voice through it all.

"Don't stand amazed."

Lennox waited, possibly attempting to block my view of the horror show taking place to poor Delilah.

What was I thinking? Poor Delilah? A minute ago, I was sure she was going to have me for breakfast.

"Go. Now. Follow Annabelle. I'll be around shortly."

I didn't know where Lennox was going, but he urged me to head down to the cellar, and I didn't have the strength not to obey. Not to mention, there was a distinct, old, sour blood smell filling the room. Decayed flesh. Death.

Taking Will's sweaty hand, I guided him to the cellar and made him go first. He didn't resist. He seemed very weak, but who wouldn't be? We were still on our feet, still moving forward.

Lennox was gone, and I knew we were more in danger now than before. Every vampire in the house would smell that, and it was unquestionable what it meant. But I couldn't resist one last look at what was left of Charles's consort.

What I saw didn't even look real, like something found in a high school haunted house. Delilah was nothing but a distorted face and limbs, slowly melting into a puddle of black goop.

I thought I was going to lose it. Pass out or puke or go crazy. But I didn't. I just turned away, and followed Will into the dark cellar.

When I reached the bottom, I opened my eyes as wide as I could, hoping to see anything at all. There was nothing. No sounds. No smells.

But I had to move. I took tiny steps away from the ladder into the pitch black.

There was wet mud at my feet. I kept getting stuck and could hardly make my way through it. The new feeling of the mud had been incredible to me before.

There were vines brushing my face and spiders in my hair. I slapped my skin wherever I felt a tickle. There were imagined bugs all over me in the darkness, making my skin crawl.

It all felt horrible.

I couldn't feel the breeze as I could before. I walked in a direction having no clue where I was going, or if Will was still in front of me.

He was at the wooden door and had no trouble pushing his way through. I'd done all the work the day before. And Annabelle had gone through it moments ago.

Yesterday, I felt free when I left this place. Today, there was nothing but worry in me. Worry for Annabelle, for Lennox. And for my Declan.

# CHAPTER 22

The sun peaked over the horizon the moment his eyes locked on her. Declan could not breathe, could not move. Was he finally losing his mind? Or was she really there, across the lawn, running so slowly in the morning mist through the lush, green grass.

She moved like he remembered. She glistened with sweat and her pale face was flushed red. She breathed heavily as her heart clamored inside her chest at an alarming, human rate.

And she looked at him.

Hazel eyes like long ago, reflecting the dark green hue of the landscape. But there was something different there now, some wisdom only age could bring, some worldliness one gained when they have shuffled off childish dreams.

And a ring of gold.

Declan was paralyzed.

Part of him wanted to run after her, embrace her and defend her. He knew something had gone wrong. She and Annabelle and that human were in danger. A dozen or more vampires would be after them in no time. That they had gotten this far out of the manor was unbelievable.

But the other part of him could not move, and even deeper, was not sure he should. His brain worked fast, contemplating what this could mean. If she was really human again, maybe the best thing he could do was let her go, let her disappear and never see her again. Protect her by never allowing himself the temptation of damning her to the life she so clearly hated for the past years ever again.

But he would not do it to her. No. Now he knew the outcome, nothing would persuade him to take her away from the world again. Declan could trust himself.

_Don't be thick, Declan_ , he heard in his head in Lena's voice. It was a memory of who she once was, how she used to be, just like Declan heard so many times before in the past decades. And she was right.

Indeed, Declan would never bite her again, never take the incredible creature she was away from the world again. But another vampire definitely would. There was no question what Declan saw in Charles's charcoal eyes. Whatever had happened when Lena tried to transform that human, Charles would see as a gift. He could make her his own now, sire her, possess her, use her.

Study her.

Declan had to do something.

Ansell, Charles's massive right hand, appeared at the window in the tower, the highest point in the Castle. More fluidly than even a vampire his size should have been able to manage, he hopped out the window and cascaded down the stone front of the building, his rigid body not moving even a little from the position it had been in.

The ground rumbled like an earthquake when his feet touched down.

His Lena and that human were knocked off their feet by the vibrations.

In what could not have been more than a second, Lena and Declan's eyes met again. Her hands were wrist deep in dewy grass as she began to lift herself with great effort, but she was letting her body do what it had to while her eyes spoke apologies and heartache.

She remembered now, and she was so sorry.

Declan's eyes spoke back, a string of laments and regrets.

He could not understand how she was there, but she was there, and he felt like the best version of himself, as before. There was no excuse for his complacent inactivity the past several years, but he could not change that. What he could do was help her escape.

Ever conscious of Ansell's approach, Declan could not squander the opportunity. He was closer to Lena than to Ansell. And the giant's size meant Declan could outrun him. They would have only seconds, but now Declan felt like he could accomplish anything.

Lena closed her eyes in a human blink. Faster than he had run at any time in his memory, Declan was in front of her the moment her eyes reopened.

She smelled like honey and human blood. Just as before. Memories swirled in his head, of holding her, of touching her. And he allowed them all in, savoring each thought.

The horrible memory of her scent fading as she changed into a vampire was replaced in Declan's mind with this glorious moment. He let it shower over him and fill his thoughts with luminous hope.

Neither of them moved, nor did that human. Annabelle's hand went to her mouth, astonishment and understanding written on her usually controlled face as she took in the sight of Lena and Declan standing face to face.

There was no need for words. Lena fell into him and nuzzled his neck, the intimate way she always did. Declan placed his hand on the back of her head and let his fingers intertwine with her straight hair.

The giant was at the halfway point. Declan never wanted to let her go, never wanted to lose her again. Not having her in his arms, even for a moment now would be misery. But Declan had to be strong. He could accomplish anything. It was time.

Gently pushing his Lena away, Declan could not resist taking one more unwise second to look into her hazel eyes. The ring of gold that was not there before glistened as she held back tears.

He caressed her warm face, then in a swift blink he was off, charging toward Ansell, who was running at full speed toward them.

Toward his Lena. His true Lena.

**

My scream echoed across the lawn. The morning sky was cloudless, but it felt almost indecent. I thought it should be raining, storming, windy and threatening. The sun looked dazzling, and made me nauseated.

It was disgusting the day could be so beautiful when Declan was running to defend me, and to get killed.

I pointlessly fought against Annabelle's strong arm. I knew there wasn't anything I could do. I knew Declan was doing this so I could escape. I knew if Annabelle wasn't holding me back, all of this would have been for nothing.

But I fought with all the strength left in me because it was all I could do.

She held me gently, putting no pressure on me. Even through my frantic struggle to stop Declan, to keep him safe, I knew this was what made her so special. Annabelle, despite her controlled demeanor, had a great deal of understanding and acceptance in her. I hadn't even been human for an hour and she had already learned how fragile I was.

My blurry, human eyes watched as Declan slid into the giant's legs, breaking his momentum and knocking him off his feet. He rolled to the ground back toward the manor, but was standing again so quickly my eyes didn't see the motion.

Everything was blurry through the haze of the morning and the fight was taking place pretty far away. My sense of distance wasn't right. It looked like they were a mile from where I stood, but I knew the front yard of the mansion wasn't that huge.

"I am sorry, Ansell. I do not wish to fight you, but you have to understand. She means everything to me."

Annabelle whispered the words in my ear, and I knew she was relaying the conversation was taking place between the giant and my Declan. I stopped fighting against her but she wisely didn't remove her arm from around my torso.

"I'm sorry too, but I do not understand," Annabelle continued interpreting. "You would go against our King, for what? A human?"

They were standing about a yard apart, I thought, and talking as if they weren't intending to hurt the other. "The loyalty you have for Charles, all that which makes you such a good Servant? That is what I feel for Lena. That and more. I am hers and she is mine. I do not have any other way to explain."

My attention was fixed so much on Declan's every move I didn't even notice the car pulling up until its tires squeaked to a stop on the grass behind me. Lennox was already out of the driver's seat and by Annabelle's side, taking in the scene with the rest of us by the time I turned to look.

When I saw Annabelle's face, I knew she was holding something back.

"What?" I said, and it came out as a whimper.

She took in a breath and relayed the exchange. "The human girl is no longer yours. My King decreed it."

"She will always be mine, no matter what he does."

"We shall see," Annabelle translated the giant's words the same second his fist made contact with Declan's chin, sending him into the air and then flat on his back.

I must have screamed again, but all I heard was the echo.

I started to run, but I was lifted from the ground as I noticed Declan back on his feet, barreling into the giant's chest.

This time, it was Lennox's arm around me. He was no stronger than Annabelle, and as careful, but his arm was definitely bigger. Not that I could convince myself not to struggle against him.

It felt good to fight. Even if it was the most futile thing I could do.

"Annabelle, take her," Lennox said like a father handing a baby over to its mother, sliding me into Annabelle's grasp.

"What are you doing?" she asked, and I didn't understand. I knew they saw things I didn't. I knew my human perception was extremely limited. But Lennox hadn't done anything that I had seen.

He stood in the way of my view of Declan. I didn't know what was happening now, and squirmed against Annabelle's hands even more than before.

She ignored me.

"If there is anything I can do, I have to try," I heard him say, and I stopped struggling again and met my brother's eyes. There had been pride in his voice as he repeated my words. He was proud of me.

A tear rolled down my cheek for the first time in twenty years.

Lennox leaned past me and kissed Annabelle sweetly. He whispered something to her too quiet for me to hear, even though I was inches away, and then he was halfway across the lawn, running toward Ansell, who was throwing my Declan into the ground.

Annabelle let me go and I didn't try to get away. She looked shocked, as shocked as a vampire could look.

"But—" I started, stunned speechless.

She shook her blonde hair, maybe to shut me up or maybe to snap herself out of whatever she was thinking. Always collected. Always in control.

"We should go now," she said, uncertainly.

A loud sound made us both jump, and I tore my eyes away from Lennox's first punch to see Will in the driver's seat of the old Cadillac.

He honked the horn again, and motioned to me as he yelled in a scratchy, weak voice, "Come on. Time to go."

"Yes," Annabelle whispered and dragged me by my arm toward the car.

"Annabelle," I said calmly. "Let me go."

She did immediately and I stared into her face.

I will not be forced anymore. I get to make my own decisions now.

And it was as if she heard me.

I knew we did have to go though. We were all in danger now. For even attempting the escape. But I knew Will and I were the most at risk. If we were caught, Charles's favor may still apply to me. He'd probably want to change me back. But Will, he'd study, then discard.

I got him into this, I reminded myself. He wouldn't leave without me.

There was nothing I could do for Declan. Not now. Not yet.

It felt like forever walking to the back of the car, opening the door and climbing into the back seat. Annabelle was already settled in the front by the time I closed my door and took in the sight.

Other vampires were emerging from the mansion. The place swarmed with them.

Will hit the gas, not looking back, not slowing down for anything.

Annabelle and I watched trying desperately to see what was happening until the road dipped and the house was no longer visible on the horizon.

# CHAPTER 23

The German giant was so agile and effective with each movement, he still had the advantage even in a fight against two.

Declan was stronger than Ansell, being much older, but size made a difference in a fight such as this. If Ansell made contact, it was a direct hit in precisely the right spot to convey optimum damage.

Lennox, being closer to Ansell's size, still was not faring much better.

The giant's fist collided with Lennox, and his neck almost seemed to detach from his shoulders. Declan watched from the ground, straining to see through the blood in his eyes.

There would be no beating the giant.

But Declan would not give up. Until he was ripped apart, Declan would keep up the fight. Every minute bought Lena time.

The car was out of sight minutes ago. Of course, it pleased Declan to see it gone. It meant Lena was safe, for the time being. The farther they drove, the safer they were. But like so much lately, he was conflicted. Declan was glad to see Lena safe, gone from this place she hated and from these monsters that would have her cold and dead again if they could get their claws on her.

But he was sad as well. Of course he was.

There was no guarantee he would see her again. There was no certainty he would be kept alive after this insolence. And he could no longer sense her. Not even the slightest glimmer of her presence. It was expected, of course. He had never felt the connection when she was human before. But he had gotten used to it. Deep inside his chest felt empty without her there. He would have to grow accustomed to it being gone. Many things had to be gotten used to once more.

It was not even like she was safe. She could still be found. If Declan were killed, who would fight for her?

Declan looked at Lennox as he collided into Ansell once more. The giant did not move. His strength was constant, but it was clear Declan and Lennox did not have that skill. They were tiring, and fast.

Charles and his family were gathered in front of the manor, watching the fight. At any time, they could intervene and quite easily stop what was happening, yet they did not make a move.

Declan expected they were only waiting for him and Lennox to exhaust themselves. Vampires to Declan's knowledge did not put forth any avoidable effort.

He detested how that truth applied to him as well.

It would have been very easy to give in, give up, stop the futile brawl since their defeat was inevitable, but neither gave in. Declan and Lennox both charged the giant with all the might they retained relentlessly.

"That's quite enough, Ansell," Charles's voice finally rang through the clearing, and the giant straightened his posture and bowed his head in acknowledgement of his King's wishes.

"Why do you fight even though you can't win?" Charles did not look at Lennox. He hardly acknowledged his presence there in the battle. His only interest was in Declan.

He did not respond. Declan had already committed himself to severing his ties and allegiance to these creatures, to this family and to his former one. This included Charles. The King no longer deserved Declan's respect.

And Charles knew it almost immediately. His cool façade and jovial manner vanished. The King had always been able to alter his behavior in an instant. It was jarring, but Declan would not show surprise.

"She will be mine," he spat, his eyes alight with anger.

Charles had gotten his way for centuries. He had never been denied that which he desired. Declan, who was not even a Master, would not be the first to stand in his way.

Charles snarled. "You have no rights to her now."

The Vampire King had two faces, the bureaucrat who Lena had met and likely believed he truly was, and the monster that stood before Declan. His expressive, practically friendly face now showed the weight of thousands of years of wickedness. Charles looked more animal than human.

Yet Declan did not flinch.

"Lena and I belong to each other. You do not have a chance in the world with her," Declan stated calmly, and did not recoil as Charles roared in his face.

The Vampire King's temper flared, but Declan watched as the emotions were reeled in within a moment. Charles's had bigger plans for Declan. He would not be enticed into killing him so soon.

Instead, he commanded his family without a word and walked out into the front lawn, towards where Lena had stood before getting into the car and being driven away.

What he was planning to do, Declan did not know and could no longer see. The swarm of Charles's family obstructed his view as they surrounded and seized him.

Whether Charles did it as an extra cruelty, Declan did not know. But he and Lennox were dragged mercilessly through the corridors of the Castle and tossed into the same room Lena had been placed in to turn the human.

It smelled of her. It smelled of her vampire blood, and of her human blood. And Declan could not stand it for even a second. As soon as the door was closed and the locks put in place, he got to work.

Pulling sheets from the bed, he scrubbed the spots in the stone floor until his knuckles were raw, long after her blood was no longer deep in the crevasses of the rock. The few drops of thick, almost black vampire blood and the several puddles of dried, red human blood were in the sheet, along with flecks of stone and Declan's flesh.

Lennox watched confused, but Declan did not care. He did not offer explanation nor give thought to how what he was doing must appear. He only knew it had to be done.

The torches were left lit, and Declan pulled one from its perch on the wall. Igniting the sheet, he placed it on the open floor and stepped away, watching it burn, the bright flames flickering in his eyes.

It did not make Declan feel much better, but at least her scent was no longer filling the room. Now the burnt stench of ash replaced it.

"I would like to thank you, Lennox, for coming to my aid today," Declan said after smoke no longer climbed from the soot on the floor.

"You are welcome, but you must know it wasn't only for you. I care for Lena very much. You wouldn't have been enough to stop Ansell for long."

Declan finally looked away from the embers on the floor and looked at Lennox. "I did not realize you and she were so close."

"I'm afraid there was much you didn't know about her."

Declan bowed his head at the words, knowing they were wise. He had never tried hard enough, not while she was a vampire.

"I am afraid you are correct, Lennox."

Lennox stood by Declan now, with his left hand on Declan's right shoulder. "There is always time."

"Yes," Declan nodded, but looked around the dim, stone room and wondered.

It seemed as though Lennox realized the severity of the situation they were in at the same time, because he too scanned the room.

Declan placed his left hand on Lennox's right shoulder and said calmly, "If there is a way, we will see them again."

The certainty in Declan's voice eased Lennox's worry, and he closed his eyes with a nod and released Declan's shoulder.

Neither knew what would come next, but neither felt they would never see the ones they loved again either. They were able to take solace in that.

**

We drove in silence until Will mumbled something about a gas station. I hardly heard him. The weight of it all was finally hitting me. I was getting crushed by it.

"I had no idea," Annabelle whispered.

"What?" I whispered back, hiding my face. I could feel the tears and didn't want anyone to see. I was stronger than this. I never cried. Nothing was so bad it couldn't be fixed.

Will was outside the car that had blood in the back seat where I was sitting. I couldn't smell it over the musty scent of the old Cadillac. I couldn't even be sure it was blood, but it was dried almost black.

"That you and Declan were—are—" she said, not finding the word.

A hot tear trickled down my cheek. It hurt to hear his name. It hurt that Annabelle was thinking of us, thinking of what we had.

What we have.

The day I found out Declan was a vampire, I flipped out. Who wouldn't?

I found him at the medical clinic where I volunteered. In the same room filled with refrigerators I drank myself silly in yesterday. He'd contaminated five bags of blood, trying to find everything he needed.

I understood it now. The blood wasn't pure, whole blood, but separated into its parts, which was customary with donated blood. That's why it didn't taste right to me. That's why it made me groggy. I didn't get a complete and balanced meal.

I shook the memory away because I was feeling queasy, and my thoughts were back on Declan instantly.

He was able to retract his fangs as soon as he saw me. I knew now how difficult that was. Even stoic Annabelle didn't have control of her canine teeth when there was blood in the room. It meant he didn't want me to see him like that. It meant he was in love with me, even before either of us knew we were in love. But I didn't know that then.

"That we are what?" I squeaked at Annabelle, my voice trembling now.

She didn't turn around in the front seat. She didn't look back at me. Her eyes stayed looking out the front, not wavering.

"You are true mates. I never saw it before."

At first, I thought Declan was insane. He said the word for the creature he was and tried to explain, but I wouldn't hear it. All I saw was the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks had broken into the place I worked, ruined blood donations by drinking it, and came up with a lame story as an explanation because he must have thought I was very gullible.

Vampires were fictitious. In my mind, Declan was trying to get rid of me. My affection for him was greater than his was for me. It took me a few days to understand that his telling me what he was meant he cared for me too.

But I didn't accept it immediately. I accused him of being sick and twisted, of lying to me and making me feel something for him. I called him a fraud, a jerk, a waste of my time.

The more time I gave it, the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I already knew Declan was different. I knew it the moment we met. I'd been willing to accept it when I thought he was just strange.

We didn't fall in love, or at least realize how we felt until after I found out what he was. He didn't want to pursue anything with me if he had to lie to me.

So noble. Always so wonderful.

I shook my head trying to fend off the tears that were dripping from my chin.

"Huh?" I grunted, not having the strength to say more.

"I see the bonds between creatures, human and vampire alike. And you and he are bound."

Like Charles, I realized. He saw the true nature in vampires, could see the characteristics that made them who they were, the ones they wouldn't be able to deny. Annabelle saw the same thing, only between people.

I understood it all. Annabelle's abilities had been too much like Charles's. He got bored, and hoped to sire someone more interesting. He wanted to be the creator of one of his precious anomalies.

However many partners Charles sired between Annabelle and Delilah, I didn't know. But Delilah, he'd kept around. Because she restored vampires to their true form by healing their wounds. That must have been interesting enough for Charles. For the time being.

But now Delilah was dead. Really dead. I wondered how the Vampire King would react. Part of me imagined he would be delighted.

Annabelle spoke again, and it took me awhile to realize she was still considering what Declan and I had.

"I never saw it before. I don't understand why."

"Please," I said softly, my voice like a child's.

Annabelle didn't hear me, or didn't care to listen. "This is unprecedented, of course. But your ability to be around them...and us..."

She kept talking, but I stopped listening. Annabelle had no idea how her words were hurting me.

The night Declan made me a vampire, I pretended to be okay with it. I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to make it easier for him, since there was no avoiding it. Declan would have been killed if I disappeared from the Castle before I was turned. And I was sure Colin would track me down and kill me too.

Having Declan turn me had been the right decision to save our lives. Remembering that night now though was horrifying.

The memory of his teeth going into my neck.

Breaking the skin.

Drinking my blood for the first and only time.

We had been so much in love by then. We shouldn't have had to do that to each other.

And I had been mad at him in my last moments. That anger carried over into twenty years of vampire life. Like Lennox's fear of Annabelle.

Things were making sense, yet nothing seemed fair.

I felt myself change that night, felt what made me human disintegrate, felt my blood thicken and my heart slow. There was a reason we forgot. No creature was meant to endure the gruesome memory of their own birth.

Or death.

I couldn't get the car door open fast enough. Everything took so much effort. Everything was so hard. My human arms were made of straw. My human legs were like balancing on twigs.

I was deaf and blind.

Every horrible thing I'd witnessed in the past few hours swarmed in my head. Being snapped in half by Viola. The image of my own mangled body. The crawling bugs under my skin as Delilah healed me. The taste of Will's blood. Delilah's mutilated corpse. Declan fighting for my life.

There was cold sweat all over my body. I could feel the blood leave my face, the clammy tingle on the back of my neck.

I threw up bright red blood. Tears flowed freely now. My hands shook out of control and even though I was sitting on the ground, my legs felt weak. Looking at the blood made me retch again but my stomach was empty.

I crawled as far away from the spot on the ground as I could, but I was so weak. So fragile. I collapsed onto the grass and cried into the earth.

It didn't feel good. There was no satisfaction in the release. But I didn't stop it.

The empty places inside me pounded as a reminder of the things I'd forfeited because of my selfishness. My family. The lives I may have saved. My Declan.

Moments later, someone picked me up from the grass. I was taken to the car and placed gently in the back seat in a way only human hands could achieve.

"Thank you, Will," I croaked with a sob, then curled up and cried some more.

I no longer felt ashamed. There was no reason to hide my face. What the others thought of me didn't matter. I was sure they wouldn't hold it against me anyway.

After all, I was only human.

# CHAPTER 24

Taking a long pause at the hotel room door to wrap his brain around everything that had happened, Will took several deep breaths even though it hurt his now bandaged ribs. The ER doctor wrote him a prescription for the pain, but Will didn't fill it. He didn't want his senses dulled in any way.

He realized seconds later that if he wanted a moment for himself, he should have taken it far from vampire earshot.

Annabelle flung the flimsy door open, luckily not allowing it to fly into the wall so the cracks in the plaster got even worse. This time.

"Ah," she sighed, looking as disappointed as her inexpressive face could look. Will knew who she had hoped it would be. He also knew she could hear him, smell him, and sense he was human from half a mile away. She would have known it was not her boyfriend at the door. But she wasn't being rational.

Lena still slept. Will was relieved to see he hadn't been gone when she woke up. He wanted to be a part of whatever would happen next. He had to be. Will would do anything for her now. He didn't have a choice.

Even though she clearly loved someone else. And the game had changed completely. Will didn't even know who she was as a human. He realized she could be everything he didn't like in girls, once the vampire in her was long gone.

But it didn't matter. He was a part of her now. And always would be.

Like blinking, or breathing. It just happened.

"Here, I..." Will started, but couldn't believe the sentence he was about to say. "I got you a bag of blood."

Annabelle looked at him. She didn't do it often. She barely spoke to him.

"That was...thoughtful. Thank you."

Her face twisted a little as she said the words, and now they both felt uncomfortable. Will had apparently learned to read vampire expressions a little during his time with Lena, and in the Pit of Despair.

And Annabelle didn't freak him out much anymore. Even though he was aware she could twist his head off like opening the cap on a bottle, he wasn't in a constant state of hyperventilation when he was around her. That was good.

He tossed her the cold bag and chuckled.

"You're welcome. But I had an ulterior motive."

"What was that?" she asked, squinting a little. Will got the impression it was pretty strange for the little blonde to be interested in what a human was going to say. Or seeing a human smile. Or sharing a hotel room with two humans. Everything was very weird.

"I don't want you to eat me."

She tilted her head, still looking at him, and said softly, "Hmm, that's funny."

Will laughed, then grabbed his taped ribs when pain shot through his chest.

Then Annabelle's canines grew and she ripped into the plastic. She wasn't demure with it. She lapped and slurped and drops of blood dripped to the floor from her chin. When she looked up again after a big gulp, her mouth was completely crimson, slathered with bright red blood.

Along with the pain in his sides, the metallic smell hit Will's nose, and he felt his stomach lurch.

He was lucky to have made it to the bathroom and closed the door before throwing up.

**

I dreamt like it was for the first time. I couldn't remember having dreams as a vampire. Sleep in general was a very different thing for the past couple decades. It was a much heavier sleep. I'd often awake and my limbs would feel very heavy like I hadn't used them in days, no matter the length of time I slept.

My dreams were chaotic. Flashes of terrible things were interlaced with images of true beauty. I was naked and blind, lost in the woods only moments before I was swimming in the ocean with the warm sun kissing my face.

There was blood. Then Christmas morning.

Everyone I knew appeared everywhere I turned. Charles hid in the shadows and Annabelle held my hand. Will and I shared a patch of sand and my brother Linus and I ran in the backyard again as little kids, playing tag around our parents.

Nothing felt real. Even when I awoke, the several times I awoke in the night, it took me minutes to realize I could move my arms, feel the soft pillow, see the shadows on the walls and hear the faint breathing of my companions.

The sounds of distress woke me up, and for a second, I feared the worst. Only for a second. I had more faith in Annabelle than that.

Even when my eyes very slowly focused and I saw blood on Annabelle's lips and didn't see Will anywhere, I didn't worry.

Even though Annabelle looked kind of guilty when she saw me staring at her.

"Your human is there, in the bathroom. The sight of me feeding made him sick," she explained hastily.

"Annabelle, I know you won't hurt him," I told her calmly, but with a scratchy, strained voice. How long did I sleep? It felt like forever since I used my vocal chords.

She glared at me through ice blue eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're better than that."

Annabelle looked away. If she had been human, she would have rolled her eyes.

"You are the strongest, the wisest, and the most compassionate of all of us. It might take you awhile to remember, but you will find yourself again."

"You are talking as if I were human," Annabelle mumbled, but still with the eloquence in her tone that made her so mesmerizing to me.

"You are, Annabelle," I whispered, knowing she wouldn't want to hear it. When I was like her, I wouldn't have listened to it either. But then again, I was stupid.

"You forget, little one. I have been this creature for centuries. Perhaps you have been able to keep hold of your humanity. Mine is long dead."

"What makes us so different? Colin, Charles, they all wanted us to believe we aren't even the same species. But vampires can feel love, lust, compassion, pride, envy, respect. You can worry and be angry and depressed and lonely. You and I may not feel them the same exact way, but the emotions are all the same."

Annabelle looked at the floor away from me as she mumbled, "you are naïve."

"And you are blind," I said, flashing my vampire sister a grin. "But someday you'll see."

She had no response for me, and I wasn't surprised. I saw vampires very differently now than I did when I was one. I was always told we weren't alive. We weren't human. Nothing remained of who we used to be.

But how could that be true if I was now who I was before? None of what made me _me_ was lost. My memories were intact. I was still the same Lena.

When I was human before, for the first time, I'd loved to learn how things worked, why things were the way they were. That was why I wanted to be a doctor. What better way to learn how people functioned?

Seemed like I never lost that interest. I had to know everything there was to know about vampires now too. How we functioned. How we were able to survive in such a limited existence.

Most of all, I wondered if Charles was truly indestructible, his family and fortress impenetrable. Because this was the first step to getting Declan back.

And I would get him back.

I wasn't sure what we were going to do now. I wanted to find my family, make sure they were okay. Linus was only fifteen when I left the world. He had been a typical boy of that age, a slacker who acted like nothing mattered to him. Now he was thirty-seven. He'd have a career if he ever found his way. A wife and kids maybe.

Although I knew I couldn't let him see me, I had to see if he was okay. I had to see if my family had survived all this time. Needed to.

Among the other things I needed to do.

Many minutes went by as Annabelle finished her blood and the retching in the bathroom stopped. Really, I was surprised watching Annabelle feed didn't make me sick too, but it didn't.

Finally, Will came back into the room, looking pale and sweaty. Poor guy.

"Are you awake?" he asked shakily, his body still uncomfortable from throwing up.

"How long did I sleep?" I asked, and noticed my voice didn't sound much stronger than his did. Neither of us were at our best. I wondered how long it would take for us to be normal again.

Normal. As if that was a possibility now.

"About a day and a half."

It didn't feel like that long. I was still exhausted. I muttered, "wow".

Will sat at the foot of the bed I was still curled up in. The hotel sheets were kind of stiff and my legs were intricately twisted up in them.

He placed his hand on the piles of fabric around my ankles. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I said hastily, then shrugged. "Well, weak. And groggy. My wrist is throbbing. I'm starving and it's like my mouth is stuffed with cotton. But...otherwise, good."

Will smiled, and rose off the bed. I watched as he walked to a paper sack on the table by the door and pulled out a big bottle of water and a candy bar. He opened the bottle for me, then replaced the cap and set everything on the nightstand by my head.

It was all so sweet. I couldn't believe he didn't hate me. Look at what I'd done to him!

His neck and wrist had white bandages, but I knew the wounds they were covering. I'd done that to him.

I looked down at my wrist, and it was covered with white bandages like Will's. He doctored my injury while I slept. I hadn't even noticed.

"How about you?" I asked after he sat back down.

"Huh?"

I raised my eyebrows. "How are you feeling?"

"Well," Will looked at me, and we stared at each other for awhile before he continued. "Three of my ribs are cracked and one is broken. I have a knife wound on my wrist and bite marks on my neck. I just stole blood from an emergency room. Vampires are real. And I'm pretty sure they're after us."

I nodded empathetically, and Will smiled.

"But, otherwise good."

I laughed, and it hurt, like my lungs felt heavy. But it was nice anyway. Good to know I was capable of laughing after everything.

"What did you tell the doctors about—?" I asked after the pain outweighed the nice feelings of the laughter, looking up at the bandage on his neck.

"They only looked at my ribs. I told them I was in an accident."

"Understatement," I blurted, and he breathed a chuckle.

"You feel it, don't you, human?" Annabelle said, tossing the empty medical bag carelessly on the dresser.

"His name is Will, Annabelle. It's time you start calling him that."

My own sharpness towards her shocked me. But what shocked me the most was Annabelle recoiled a little, and did as I asked.

"Will," she said, not quite looking at him. "You feel that you're marked by her now. Don't you?"

His hand automatically went to his bandaged neck, and he nodded.

"Huh?" I said, ever so eloquently.

Will turned to me, letting his hand fall from his neck. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it right now."

Annabelle nodded her agreement after a few moments, so I took their suggestion. For now. There were other things I wanted to know.

I had so many questions. Some things didn't add up, and I needed to know the truth. For whatever reason, I thought if I had answers, I might start to understand what happened to me.

I hadn't gotten used to my thoughts being this out of control yet. Like my dreams, my thoughts were chaotic. I was able to focus if I tried hard, but I had so many things running through my head, it was difficult. I felt that answers were the only way to quiet them.

"Annabelle, how much do you know about how our family worked?" I asked, finally sitting up in bed and pushing the covers off my body. I was still wearing the black dress Declan had picked out for me. It was torn and had blood on it now. Human and vampire. Mostly mine.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, the day to day life. How things were run. How we were able to survive in that house without being bothered. That kind of stuff."

I grabbed the water and the candy bar from the nightstand Will had brought me and drank nearly half the water down before I was able to stop. I was so thirsty. And so hungry. I ripped open the wrapper and inhaled the tiny thing in three bites, but was still starved. I couldn't imagine ever being satisfied again.

She answered with wariness in her tone after I swallowed the food and drank some more water. "I have a vague understanding."

I didn't care if she didn't want to answer. I deserved to know some things. I had to know.

"How did we have money? How are the Masters able to keep giant houses on acres of land? Did they pay taxes? Humans have laws too, you know. And rules."

"Money is easy to come by. The invention of the credit card, however, has made things simpler. And most things can be done through the post office. Some of the craftier of us adapted with the times. The World Wide Web now makes our existence far easier to manage."

Mail order blood? No, that would be suspicious. But that explained how Declan was able to get my books delivered. The internet.

"Where did our blood come from? If we couldn't be around humans, if they were afraid of us at first sight, how did we get it? It was human blood, right?"

"Yes, it was always human blood. There are some vampires who have a skill to walk among humans and not be detected."

Locklan's family. My true, vampire family.

"So they would, what? Snatch people and drain them dry?"

"From what I've learned, they keep them locked up. Usually those that will not be missed, that do not have family. Their blood is harvested weekly, then distributed amongst the families."

She said it like she said anything, as if it wasn't something horrible.

But I didn't dwell on that either. The memory of Locklan and his family made me realize something. But it took awhile for my brain to understand. Maybe it was stupid, or maybe it was my erratic brain making it seem otherwise. But it was all I had. May as well go with it.

"I may have an idea," I said to the others, and jumped out of bed, ran barefoot to the front of the room and threw the door open. "Annabelle? Will you walk with me?"

As I looked back, my companions were looking at me like I'd lost it. Maybe I was out of my mind. But I didn't care.

"Wait," Will said, standing uneasily. "We should stay inside, stay hidden. They could be looking for you."

He looked so concerned. And it wasn't for himself. It was for me. Because I was their target now. Will could leave me if he wanted and never have to endure any of this again. They would not be able to find him if he didn't go back to his apartment where my blood was.

But he stayed while I slept. And he stayed now.

I closed the door again and locked it. I did need to think these things through first anyway.

Not to mention, I desperately needed a shower.

"We can't stay here for long," I said after a few minutes of our misfit ensemble feeling uncomfortable looking anywhere else but at the floor. "Charles will be able to find Annabelle."

She stared at me finally, blinking uncharacteristically. I think maybe she was still getting used to seeing me this way, as a human.

I did look different. It took me several nighttime trips to the bathroom, squinting from the bright lights at my reflection to really take it in.

My skin, my eyes, my hair, even my lips were a different color. My movements probably looked erratic and ungainly to Annabelle. I could only imagine what it must be like for her, after knowing me one way for so long. I'd be shocked if she ever really got used to me being human.

"How long have you known?" Annabelle said quietly, sadness in her tone.

"I'm not sure. He couldn't say your name. It just occurred to me."

"Yes," she looked away, at her reflection in the mirror on the wall. She gazed at herself as she said, wistfully, "he knows me by another name."

I would have asked what name. I wanted to know what my sister was called before she became Annabelle. But she looked sad and distant, and I decided I didn't need to know.

"What's going on? How come Charles will be able to find Annabelle?" Will asked, breaking the staring contest we were having, me with the side of Annabelle's face and Annabelle with her own reflection.

I looked at her, urging her to explain. She must have known I'd figure it all out. That eventful night, Annabelle told me all I needed to know to put the pieces together. It was silly for her to deny it. And, as far as I was concerned, we had to be a team now. She couldn't go back to her old life any more than I could.

Either of my old lives.

"Lena is right. Charles will be able to track me."

"How?" Will asked, and I grinned. He wasn't going to let her get away with being cryptic anymore either.

Annabelle growled deep in her throat, but answered. "We are connected. Charles was my sire."

I knew this didn't mean anything to Will. He didn't know about the sire stuff. I didn't feel comfortable explaining it to him when we discussed vampirism in his apartment those few long nights ago. But his accurate intuition paid off again, because he didn't inquire any further.

"But he is out of practice," Annabelle offered to the silence. "We have not lived in close proximity for two hundred and fifty years. He will be able to locate me, but it will take some time."

So many questions emerged. Wouldn't Charles's family know Annabelle used to be his consort? Wouldn't Colin have known? I didn't get it. But I'd wait to ask. I knew Annabelle wasn't ready to share.

Annabelle said somberly, giving her reflection another glance, then rising from the chair she'd been sitting in. "There is no defeating Charles. I will not do him harm. And two humans trying to take him on..."

"It's laughable, I get it. But I told you," I said, taking a step closer to her, only now noticing how wobbly my legs were. "I have an idea."

# CHAPTER 25

Lena Bailey was freaking brilliant. Will had no clue how she figured it all out.

He watched from the sidelines as Annabelle lay on the ground as bait. It was almost sunset and there wasn't another human in sight. Lena picked the spot. They waited on a gravel road, near a run-down bridge. The road was blocked off because the bridge looked about ready to collapse, which was why there were no people around.

Lena came up with the idea, had a detailed plan laid out. She really seemed to know what she was doing.

And Will was in awe of her.

The only thing Lena hadn't gotten right was that Quinn wasn't a boy. She looked like a very young, very angelic girl. But from what Will learned about Lena's vampire family, she wouldn't expect females to be allowed to do anything at all, let alone roam the streets wherever she wished. Her wrong assumption didn't make the demonstration of her brilliance any less incredible.

It didn't take as long as he expected for something to happen. Even Will, with his unimpressive human eyesight saw the shifting of the bushes. Moments later, the nymph-like creature appeared over Annabelle.

Will knew it was a vampire, but the little creature pranced like a gazelle instead of stalked like a lion. He wasn't sure if he wouldn't be afraid of any vampires ever again, but he didn't think he could possibly be scared of this one.

She looked like a little cherub, her milky skin soft and her cheeks rosy and round. The long, wavy locks of peach-blonde hair which fell to her hips bounced as she balanced on her toes.

When Lena explained her plan, Will only followed about half of it. He didn't know when Lena learned all she knew about the other vampire family, but she seemed so sure they would accept her as one of them.

Neither Will nor Annabelle were so confident.

But now he saw the little girl and the sweetness of her expression as she leaned down to investigate what was wrong with Annabelle, Will realized Lena's plan might work after all.

And then Lena appeared, and the scene changed.

The little cherub was a beast and jumped ten feet in the air, like a startled cat.

Before Will could move, before Annabelle was off the ground, the little beast connected feet first with Lena's chest. The impact knocked Lena back into the bushes where she'd been hiding.

Even though he hadn't seen her get up or move across the field, Will saw Annabelle grasp both of the little cherub's arms behind her back, keeping her in place.

"Quinn," Lena said through heavy, pained breathing, rubbing her sternum and desperately trying to scramble to her feet. "Just...look at me."

The vampire didn't.

"How do you know what I am called?" Her voice would have sounded like a strong wind blowing through leafy trees if it weren't for the angry undertone of a growl.

"Charles told me."

"The Vampire King?"

"Yes."

"Told you? A mangy human?"

Lena staggered up to the two female vampires and squared her shoulders even though her face was red and it was obvious by the way she hunched that she was still in a lot of pain.

Will wondered if _now_ she would let him take her to the hospital.

"Quinn, look at me."

And this time, the vampire did. The understanding took awhile to cross her face, but no one moved, and eventually the cherub stopped squinting in confusion at the question but instead squinted in confusion at what she saw.

"What—" the vampire began.

And Lena took another bold step towards the vampires. She nodded to Annabelle, who obediently released Quinn's arms, but didn't move away. She would be able to grab the other vamp before she got to Lena again.

"You saw me before, right?" Lena asked, looking directly into the beast's eyes.

"Did I?" the creature asked, then stubbornly concluded, "No."

"Yes, you did."

"It's a trick. You're a human. A mangy, insignificant human. Look at you!" the vampire sang with a giggle. "You can barely stay on your feet."

Will ignored his own thoughts. He should have stayed far away, stayed on the hill as out of sight as he could be. But Lena needed his shoulder, and he didn't hesitate to go to her.

They were at a stand-still, the cherub flippantly looking anywhere but at Lena, and Lena patiently staring.

The cherub moved again as if she was a frightened cat when she realized he was approaching the group, but Annabelle grabbed her arms before she could jump very far. Will took his place at Lena's left side and offered his support, which she gratefully took with a fluttering grin of appreciation that made Will's heart quicken.

As she placed her arm on his shoulder and let him put his arm around her waist, she returned her attention to the vampire.

"My Master will know where I am. He will come to claim me, and devour you when he sees what you have done."

The little creature didn't scare Will up close any more than she had from a distance. Though, he could tell by the strain in her voice she expected to come off as menacing. Will thought that was pretty cute.

"Good," Lena said, straightening her shoulders again and lifting her head the best she could. "I'd like to meet Locklan."

This got the cherub's attention.

"How do you know what my Master is called?"

"Well," Lena began, and Will was confused by her chuckles. "He's kind of my brother-in-law."

Lena laughed and Will watched as the vampires shared a puzzled look.

"Declan was your sire," the cherub whispered, then shut her mouth comically.

"Ah ha!" Lena shouted, giddy with excitement. "So you _did_ see me before then."

The cherub clenched her jaw and pursed her lips.

"No," she said in a pout.

Lena nodded to Annabelle and she released Quinn's arms again which she immediately crossed over her chest in a huff.

"Charles sent you to follow Annabelle, to keep track of her and report anything out of the ordinary back to him. You saw Annabelle get mad at me, and saw Will pull me away from her, protecting me. It was suspicious to you that I could be near him, and he wasn't afraid of me like he was of Annabelle."

Lena glanced at Will, offering him another fluttering smile. "I was a vampire then."

Though Will couldn't read her expressions as well as he'd learned to read Annabelle's, he suspected Quinn understood what happened now. At least, she believed Lena was the same person she saw before.

Reaching out her hand and placing it calmly on the cherub's shoulder, Lena said, "We need your help."

The cherub's mouth was open in shock, but her fangs weren't extended. She seemed as surprised as Will felt that she didn't try to bite Lena right away.

"I will not help humans. I shouldn't even be seen here."

As Annabelle stepped to Lena's other side, giving the cherub more space and Lena more support, Quinn seemed to grow interested in the mismatched group like she couldn't help it.

She stared into Lena's eyes for so long, Will was getting worried and uncomfortable. But Lena didn't move, didn't shift her weight, and didn't look away. There was something she wanted the cherub to see.

Quinn leaned in finally. The sun was down now and Will could barely see her, but the little vampire said, "your eyes are like ours."

"Yes," Lena whispered.

"That was you before."

"Yes."

"But you are human...?"

Lena repeated, "Yes."

"And you need my help?" Quinn asked, looking back and forth to Annabelle and Lena. She didn't pay much, if any attention to Will, which was fine by him. She dismissed him almost the moment he was by Lena's side.

Lena nodded her response to the little vampire's question.

After several moments of silence, Quinn abruptly leaned back and folded her arms again across her chest.

"No," she said again firmly, making Lena laugh.

Will laughed along with her, not because he thought the cherub's disinterest in cooperating was as funny as Lena found it, but because Lena looked so happy. He'd never seen her so relaxed, so good-humored and light.

Whatever was in store for them, whatever Lena had planned next, Will was game.

He'd follow her to the edge of the universe. All she had to do was ask.

**

I liked her stubbornness. It gave me hope that Locklan would be a reasonable creature. If a Master allowed his family to have such personality, if a Master sired a feisty vampire like Quinn, then surely the Master would be in every way unlike Colin.

Which was exactly what I was hoping to find when I met Locklan.

There were four of us crammed uncomfortably in the small hotel room. Will had one bed and I had the other. Quinn was tied up and locked in the bathroom, and Annabelle sat stiffly on a chair in front of the locked bathroom door, guarding it.

A pretty goofy situation to be in, to say the least.

Quinn had known I was telling the truth. It was written all over her face. Quinn couldn't hide her emotions from me like she thought she could. I had too many years of practice in understanding vampire ways.

Even though I appreciated her spunky personality, it wasn't going to be easy getting her to take our oddball group to her Master's home. And time was definitely a factor.

Declan and Lennox were now prisoners for almost three days. I didn't know how captives were treated in the vampire world.

Annabelle was worried about Lennox and Declan too, which told me she had no clue what to expect from Charles either. She didn't offer any suggestions, didn't give much encouragement. But she stayed.

Was she afraid Charles would kill her if she tried to go back? Did she fear for Lennox's life if she tried to return? Or did she actually still feel that sisterly over-protection for me, even though I wasn't like her anymore?

I wanted to believe there was something to that last part, but couldn't know for sure. She wouldn't talk to me much.

I had to be patient. All of this was hard for her too.

I admired how collected Annabelle still was, even now that we were kidnapping a vampire and holding her hostage in our hotel room until she agreed to help us.

"You will wear her down," Annabelle said to me as she tied binds to the little creature's arms and legs. I wasn't sure what she meant, but I'd do my best.

That was all I had now.

I wished I could sense Declan like he'd been able to sense me. That connection came with time, with age. I wasn't around long enough to develop the most basic abilities.

Even though I didn't think he could sense me now, since he never could when I was human before, I tried to open my mind to him. It was the complete opposite of what I used to do when I tried to hide. Instead of focusing on staying hidden, on being invisible, I tried to open my thoughts up to being seen.

I thought about Declan, his cool, gentle hand tracing the length of my naked spine.

The way his kisses exploded on my skin like electric shocks.

The deep-in-his-throat sound of pleasure he made when I nuzzled his neck.

Nothing happened. And the memories were making my heart gallop and my face hot, so I gave up.

It was silly to think it would work. I wasn't super strong or agile anymore. My eyesight, sense of smell and hearing were almost useless compared to how I'd been before. Why did I think abilities I never possessed would suddenly manifest? None of my actual vampire abilities remained.

Except the ability to sneak around undetected, something I inherited from my family, and from Declan. Right now, it was nonexistent. I wasn't sure why, but I knew I would still be able to do it. I knew how it worked. With practice, I'd be able to do it again.

Because there was still some vampire left in me. The gold ring around my iris, the same one Quinn had, and my Declan had, assured me this was true.

So maybe, if I practiced, I could learn to sense Declan, to connect with him and communicate with him like I suspected Annabelle and Lennox could.

Right now though, all I had was myself. Slow, deaf and blind, human Lena.

And Annabelle.

And Will.

I looked over at Will, who was fast asleep and softly snoring. Our wounds would heal. We'd keep going.

As long as we were together, anything was possible.

Nothing was hopeless.

**

"Why do you resist?"

Declan did not look up at the vampires addressing him. There were two, and though he had never met the pair, he knew them by their notorious reputation.

They were called the Ghosts. Accounts of their abilities were like gruesome fairytales. They were infamous.

Though one was male and one was female, they looked nearly exactly alike. They dressed in black cloaks and capes, nothing but their long, crooked fingers and their ashen faces shown of their skin. The deep set, extremely light grey eyes never blinked, and never looked away from their target. Their hair was long and white. It did not glisten in the firelight of the torches nor seem to have any movement when they glided around the room.

The Ghosts truly were like phantoms, and took pleasure in the haunt.

Long, glistening fangs remained extended at all times, like the Old Ones. Not because they were unable to retract them, but because they chose not to.

"We think you are odd."

"Yes, we think you are odd," the pair said in an identically sinister whisper.

"Why might that be?" Declan asked, proudly mimicking the disdainful tone he had heard Lena use so often.

He knew why they thought he was strange. They could not penetrate his thoughts. As long as he stayed focused, as long as he resisted distraction, Declan would be safe.

"Your Vampire King has asked us for a favor. We are to take something from you. But you will need to help us find what it is we are to take."

The stories had been true. Now Declan knew for sure. And he would not be able to keep up his focus forever.

But he would be able to distract his thoughts away from her. They could not know about her. With all the strength left in him, Declan would fight to keep her.

"Show us what you do not wish us to take," one of the ghouls hissed.

And the other mimicked. "Yes, show us."

Declan focused harder, closed off his mind tightly and met one of the Ghost's eyes, "Why not just kill me? I don't care anymore."

"Your Master requested you return to him unspoiled."

"Charles is no longer my Master," Declan said, setting his jaw and curling his lip as Lena used to do.

Suddenly, a gloriously familiar feeling struck Declan. It showered over him like hot water and warmed him from the inside out.

He did not know how it happened. He could not know for sure where it came from. But he knew he had wished for it repeatedly since being locked in the transformation room. It hardly mattered that this was the worst time possible. His wishes had finally been granted.

The memories came to him so vividly, Declan would have been powerless to resist even if he wanted to try. It felt as though he was there again, back at a time when his existence had meaning, when he had hope and joy.

Declan remembered the hot, moist feeling of her skin as he traced the length of her naked spine.

The way she reacted to each of his kisses as if reacting to electric shocks.

The incredibly content feeling it gave him when she nuzzled his neck the way she always did.

"Ah," one of the Ghosts whispered as they began drifting towards Declan. "Thank you."

"Yes, thank you," the other one sighed. "Your assistance has been most helpful."

The pair descended upon him, but Declan paid them no notice. The memories, the connection was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

His mind struggled to grasp out to the world. The thoughts replayed, but the feeling, the emotions behind them were gone.

He had sensed her once again, smelled her sweet, honey scent, felt the warmth of her body. His heart knew the presence of her. There was no mistaking it for anything.

She must have reached out to him, and he felt her, just as before. Like when she was a vampire.

They were still connected. Declan would be able to find her. With practice, the ability would grow as it once did.

When he escaped this place, he could go to her.

Declan would see her again.

She stood in his memories with gentle, hazel eyes reflecting violet. The sun kissed her light brown hair and made her tanned skin glow. The sweet scent of honey and human blood made his heart quicken.

The Ghosts flanked him now. Declan did not care. He felt alive again, filled with hope.

Each of the wraithlike vampires extended their white, boney hands from underneath their black cloaks. The first hint of an expression shown on their identical faces. They looked ravenous.

There was nothing to fear.

Lena was all that mattered, and she would be waiting for him.

As soon as he escaped.

The Ghosts' skin made contact with Declan's temples simultaneously, and his thoughts exploded into white hot visions of agony. He fell to the stone floor, breaking the link the Ghosts had with him.

The pain only lasted a moment. Seconds passed, and Declan wondered how he had ended up face-down on the ground.

He rose swiftly and placed his feet back on the floor with ease. The Ghosts stared at him, expression gone once again from their ashen faces.

"How do you feel?" both vampires asked in unison.

Declan squared his shoulders and raised his eyes to meet their stare. "I feel well."

"Your Vampire King has requested to see you," one of the ghouls whispered.

"As my Master wishes."

The Ghosts nodded once, and motioned for Declan to lead the way.

As he walked to meet with his Master, Declan took stock of himself. Something was missing, but he did not waste time considering what it might be.

Declan never had bothered contemplating what he was.

He was a vampire and that was enough of a definition for him. He drank blood, he honored his Master, he followed the rules.

That was the way of things.

That was all that mattered.

******

# Author's notes (I'll keep it short and sweet)

My favorite stories have always been the ones where the little guy turns the world upside down. The scrawny orphan defeats undefeatable evil. The creature the world overlooks is the only hope for victory. The small blonde girl saves the world (a lot).

I write the stories I want to read. I hope to write you the kinds of stories that make you feel the way those stories always make me feel.

Thank you for your interest in the worlds that exist in my mind. I promise to keep 'em comin'. Please check out the excerpt from book one of my Magic Sways series _Craved_.

And _Under the Harsh Light_ is on the way!

# Excerpt from _Craved_

Then I felt the surge of energy, the density of the air shift, the heavy sense of something that shouldn't be there igniting a familiar twinge of panic in my stomach.

A man walked in, way too tall and way too muscled to be a normal guy. Regular people didn't look like him. Defined muscles bulging everywhere. Looks only found in airbrushed magazine photos. He was attractive kind of like predators in the wild were. Beastly. Alpha. Utterly masculine.

But big men didn't scare me. Nothing to be panicked about so far.

Behind the beast was a shorter man, less muscular and dominant than the first, but way more breathtaking. Perfectly put together. Not a hair out of place. I couldn't breathe as I scanned him up and down, even through my bruises and the nosebleed and the bullseye of pain on my face. His honey-colored eyes met mine for a few moments and my rational brain melted.

I think I actually felt my eyes dilate.

But gorgeous men didn't scare me either. Still no reason for my panic.

"Are you the witch who killed one of the Sinclair sisters?" the huge man said.

I looked away from the too gorgeous for his own good one back to the beastly one, and it took me a few heartbeats before I processed any part of what he'd said.

Did he ask if I was a witch? My stomach churned.

I thought about Myra, her cold eyes and bony, black tipped fingers. I thought about Lorna, her long, raven hair and cat-like sneer. My nose leaked blood, and it ached.

"I'm not a witch," I said, and hated the tremble in my voice. My mouth and chin were all sticky now, covered with blood, dripping freely onto the white sheets of my brand new, state of the art gurney.

My chest clenched as realization struck me. Why the air felt different. Why my body was brutally shaking, my heart galloping, my injuries shrieking.

_Magic_.

The big guy was casting a spell on the nurse. My panic belonged here. It was a Sway spell. The Sisters used it often. I knew the feel of it on my skin, knew the churning deep inside.

Screw control. Fuck dignity. I screamed.

I was trapped on this hospital bed, rigged up to this bizarre metal contraption unable to run, unable to fight back. I wanted to get away from the magic, and I could feel it surrounding me, sliding down my throat, creeping into my pores, suffocating every inch of me.

"Hush," the beautiful man said, and my scream was cut off. Another spell I knew well. Only air flowed from my throat. But I didn't stop.

Couldn't stop.

My panic went supernova.

I had to get away. I couldn't be trapped like this. Couldn't let myself be taken. _Again_. Imprisoned. _Again_. Squirming sent jets of agony through me and didn't do any good whatsoever, but I didn't have control.

I wanted to go home, though I had no real home anymore. I wanted to be eight again curled up under my blankets, hiding from the monsters in the shadows that _weren't_ there. I wanted to be safe in my old life where magic never touched me.

"I'm going to heal you, Daniella Walker," the way too handsome man whispered, smooth like custard. Soothing like hot chocolate. Or he meant it to be. It should have been. I couldn't detect any Sway behind his words, but it didn't matter. They were all out to get me.

Then, a little late again, I realized what he said.

_Please don't_ , I thought. Even though no words came out, the gorgeous one hesitated.

_Take stock of yourself, little girl,_ the rational part of my brain said. _Deep, infected gashes down the left side of your back. Destroyed left arm, leg, pelvis. Torn rotator cuff, six broken ribs on the left side, and one on the right. Swelling, scrapes, and bruising everywhere. Spontaneously bleeding nose faucet. All magically induced. All magically sustained._

"You won't walk out of here without this," the handsome man's hot chocolate voice was calm, even, collected and unaffected. How dare he be so relaxed? Anger made my eyes slit at him for a second.

He was right though. I knew he was. I should be reasonable. A man of otherworldly good looks wanted to put his hands on me, take the pain away, make me feel all better.

But the crawling, the terror, was everywhere. My rational brain understood the necessity of his hands, of this spell, but the rest of me couldn't stand the thought of more magic.

"You have to let me—"

"No," I cried, surprised the gorgeous one's Hush spell hadn't stopped my words this time. "No more magic. N-n-never. _Never_ any more magic."

But he didn't listen. He rubbed his bronze hands together. The gorgeous man's wrists were bruised, like he'd been wearing handcuffs too tight. I focused on the strangest things when I was terrified—something I recently learned about myself.

He came closer. Big hands out toward me. Inches from me.

I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't think.

Don't touch. Don't touch. _Don't touch._

Those big, bronze hands disappeared.

Myra's long fingers, her pointy, black nails cut the girl's fevered skin like knives. The witch smiled wickedly, then placed her hand on the girl's face, caressed her cheek with care like a mother would. The cuts she'd given were gone in seconds, healed so the witch could torture her again, hear her screams of misery and desperate cries again.

I never escaped their basement. I was still there, right now, strapped down by invisible binds and held in place by invisible chains to be tortured, beaten, used up until there was nothing left of me. Until they took everything from me.

_Death should be quick. Please._ Please _kill me quickly._

Where the witch had caressed, she slapped without mercy with impossible strength, and the girl spit blood as her bottom lip split open. The witch's nails came at the girl again, knives on fevered skin, and the witch laughed as the girl screamed.

I wanted to scream again, and I did, but the sound was only inside my mind. I felt my last grasp of reality leave as I inhaled, and screamed silently again. And again. I screamed at Myra, spitting blood at her porcelain face, the blood never reaching her because she had powers that had no right existing in this world.

"What are you waiting for, Cam? Do it already."

A man's voice. I heard the words. There were no men in the basement. No men ever around Myra or her sister.

I shuddered, my teeth chattered, lost all control of my body that continued to thrash and flail, but my mind was back where I really was. Not in the basement. I tasted blood. In the MICU, in Chicago.

"Lucas, shut up. She's freaking out."

The big man's eyes were fixed on me. He was Swaying me to relax, and my body was responding now, no longer futilely squirming. He brought me back to this place. But now I was trapped with his mind.

Couldn't move. Couldn't stop him. Couldn't keep the magic away. But there was nothing I could do about it, for a ridiculous amount of reasons.

"Do it. Now. I don't know how long I can hold them both."

The grumpy night nurse was gone. When did she leave? The big one must have Swayed her to go get a cup of coffee or move onto the next patient. I knew it was possible. I didn't know how it worked. Or its limits. Or how long it lasted.

The handsome one caught my eye, and I was able to watch him as he surveyed my wounds. When he saw my eyes on him, he hesitated again. I think he may have even taken a step back, but I couldn't be sure considering the awkward angle I was laying in. The Sway was only keeping my body from struggling, keeping my mind here, in this room. I was still able to think what I wanted, look where I wanted. I was still me.

At least this was one of the better Sways I'd been under.

The handsome one shook his head a few times, shot the big one a look that went unnoticed, then put his hands on my stomach in a rush and held them there.

I was trapped. I was helpless. I was bleeding and broken and a basket case. And when the handsome one's Mend spell started to swirl around me, under my skin, inside my guts, I gagged, wanting to puke to get the magic out of me.

"She doesn't have to be awake for this," I heard, but didn't understand.

Magic felt like something, something tangible I couldn't describe. It felt like something wasn't right, a feeling deep down that screamed it didn't belong. Usually, the screaming was on the outside, in the air, on my skin, and I could keep it there.

"I'm not sure I can," I heard, but didn't understand.

Mend got inside, to the deep place that should be my own. I felt violated. I felt helpless, trapped, breathless and worthless. I was ashamed for my weakness. But it came anyway. Tears joined the pool of blood at my chin on the stiff white sheets that were used once, and now used up and had to be thrown away.

"You're going to have to try," I heard, but didn't understand.

Kind of like me. Used once and used up. Tossed aside. I was nothing. I couldn't stop any of it. Never stood a chance.

I'll never be free again.

I couldn't open my eyes anymore through the pain, through the shame, through my tears as memories I'd kept at bay tormented me, threatening to finally complete their task and break me.

"Sleep," was the last thing I heard before everything disappeared.

_Craved_ by Jaye A. Jones is available now for your reading pleasure.

Visit www.jayeajones.com for more.

