You know how much costs a TV ad on TF1 ?
I didn't have the money, I'm broke.
So we have to be inventive,
we have to find tricks.
At the beginning I thought of simulating a false aggression.
Yes, I would have done it in the 19th precinct nearby.
Cameras are already in place!
But a friend told me "Don't do this Dieudonné."
"You're gonna get your ass kicked for $0.00"
Which is not wrong.
He told me "If it's you, those guys will never come."
I told him "No but i would have put a kippa."
Then he told me "Drop the kippa and forget this forever."
"Because with the missiles and the cellular phones,"
"you're sure to get one... with the satellites and all."
They didn't fail with Sheikh Yassin. (Sheikh Ahmed Yassin)
No but it's true.
I have been assaulted by the BETAR guys in the street.
The BETAR is an association of gymnastics
or something like that...
Israeli...
It's shit... It's true, that's all shit... but OK.
They're aggressive.
Those guys attack at 15 against 1.
And I have been assaulted with my 2 children, fuck...
8 and 10 years old. But I promise you...
Yes... But this is a true story.
8 and 10 years old !!!
You see they're not yet Hezbollah executives, come on guys!!!
Not yet.
So the kids neutralized them in one second...
it was all over.
So... I went to see the medias and told them
"See now i get assaulted... you don't talk about it?"
So they said
"Yes because in that direction, it is of no interest."
"Fuck off Mbala Mbala."
Sorry your Majesty.
So wait, I had to find something to do.
So I told myself it has to hit hard.
I must give them something.
You know, medias are like dogs.
You give them red meat "There, eat this."
So, what can i give them that would be bloody?
Something that would interest them.
So I thought, ok I'm calling Jean-Marie (Le Pen).
You will be able to get inspired by him.
Get inspired by who?
The guy... What's his name?
Who?
Oh yes, Enrico Macias. He's the top.
You're kidding or what?
Look... Look at the reaction...
This is what you want?
You wanna kill the show?
Enrico Macias, am I dreaming or what?
He's the worst of all this guy.
Already that it's shit.
No, but yes, what he does is shit.
And I saw him the other day,
he was on an official trip with Sarkozy, in Israel.
I said "Shit, we're paying for Enrico's vacation with our taxes."
You know Sarkozy is there permanently.
Yes, Sarkozy is always in Israel.
Maybe it's the orange juice?
Because at the beginning Enrico wanted to go in Algeria,
because he was born there. He wanted to go with him.
Yes, he wanted to go there.
He wanted to go with Sarko in Algeria.
But Algerians said no no no.
They said "We're willing to forget war,"
"but you keep Enrico for good."
That i didn't know.
What did he do in Algeria, Enrico Macias?
He must have sang for sure?
Yes for sure, it's his job.
Yes but when you sing like a saucepan!
There are other jobs guys.
You open a garage, you do mechanics.
Don't exaggerate. This guy sold millions of records.
Ah... He bought them himself.
Have you ever bought an Enrico Macias record, once in your life?
My generation, we all had an Enrico record
in our collection at one time or another.
No no no!!!
Because they are ashamed today, for sure.
But he made hit records this guy.
What hit records?
He made "Le mandiant de l'amour"
Ah stop that.
"Enfants de tous pays"
Shut up.
"Les filles de mon pays"
Les filles de mon pays?
"Les gens du nord"
Yes, but it doesn't interest them.
"Deux ailes et trois plumes"
Chickens? It was about chickens?
No... about a dove, symbol of peace and love.
Ah... We are the World!!!
All children, kisses.
Did he sing that in Gaza the other day?
But he's fake. Look...
To be? Not to be? Where will it? How to? Who?
Don't know. Don't know. We do not know.
I have long wandered in lies.
I had a mother, she always said all the time
"Ah kisses, children, love of others"
"the distribution of wealth."
Whatever... ok wait!
Fortunately, a man took me out from darkness.
It's George W. Bush.
Are you there Lord?
Did you recover from that shoe?
George W. Christ.
I salute you George. Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom Come, on earth like in those basements,
so rich in oil.
Your blood delivered for us, humble consumers.
Submit us to temptation, to vice,
and send us to war against Muslims.
Amen.
What?
Kneel before our lord.
What? Yes he lied a little bit George, it's true.
No but she's right, he lied.
But you must, to be able to install democracy in the World.
People didn't want democracy.
You have to drop a few bombs on their head.
To kill them, to annihilate them with their families.
We need men like Colin Powell.
I liked Colin Powells.
First he is black, that's a plus for me.
So, it's him that you know... that...
The Chief, hero of the 2 wars in Iraq.
First one because he killed people in place,
and the second, he's the one that brought
this little bottle of piss.
At the United Nations Security Council.
Nobody wanted to go.
You know what... we don't know.
In front of the entire World he went like
"Here is the irrefutable proof..."
Even I wouldn't have dared doing this.
Hundreds of thousands of casualties.
Millions of casualties caused by this crap.
But it seems he became crazy, I assure you.
He started tap dance or something like that.
Imagine the guy in front of the mirror in the morning
"Here is the irrefutable proof..."
"That I am a piece of shit."
Hello France.
My name is George W. Bush, you know.
I am the 43rd president
of the United States of America.
Hmmm... My country, the United States of America,
was built on the biggest genocide in the history of the World.
The massacre of the Indians of America.
After that we have made the second genocide of the World,
slavery of black people.
Nigger, nigger, nigger.
We are the only country in the World
that dropped the atomic bomb on civilians.
Sushi-man.
We are the country of lies.
All the time we lie... we lie.
I was elected, you know.
Elected, sorry...
Fucking language.
I was elected, by trafficking the electronic vote.
Before i was not elected.
Ah, I'm elected!
I showed Sarkozy how to do it.
We organized the attack of september 11th.
Jean-Marie Bigard is right.
To justify in the World, oil is for us,
we take it...
We make millions of civilian casualties in the World
in the name of Jesus Christ.
We are pieces of shit.
And the American flag today,
the toilet paper of the World.
But no, no gentlemen of weapons industry, no.
Me, president of the United States,
I will not go to the United Nations Security Council
to say Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.
It's us that have the weapons of mass destruction.
Truth is not to know if he's a monkey or a puppet.
Truth is that he's an American
and the new guy you like to throw punches at.
No. Don't mix up things. Be careful.
For sure you mix up everything.
I know you don't like Americans.
No, not Americans, no, what?
But we all owe them 2 or 3 little things here,
wether you like it or not.
I have a little spare change. How much do I owe?
But I don't owe Americans anything.
Yes, for sure, I will explain it to you.
For example we owe them the fact that
we don't have to speak German nowadays in France.
My grand father spoke German frequently.
Sorry, but he did well for himself.
Second thing...
And I'm gonna tell you that it was the French
occupation that was tough in Cameroon,
if you want me to tell you what I think.
And I'm gonna tell you another one,
wether you like it or not,
it's the Americans that protect us from terrorism.
Ah, many think they organise it.
Look. Listen to this! You hear?
And the crowd is not only composed of curly hairs.
People are starting to awaken finally.
No, whatever.
George Bush is Al Capone.
I can't. I can't listen to this and endorse it.
Why?
And the Americans, I don't know,
the United States it's a democracy,
just like in France,
we have freedom of expression.
Ah the freedom of expression.
Not to me, 22 trials for a comic perfomance.
That's freedom of expression?
Freedom of expression.
OK. It's true that on this specific issue
I have not chosen the right example.
True that there is a specific subject...
which we cannot really...
We all know it...
Lips are sealed.
I'll give you another example
of the benefits of democracy
where you won't be able to contradict me.
What?
For us women it's way mor pleasant.
Okay.
Because we can safely walk the streets
without being spit on or without being stoned.
Ah... stoning.
In the Muslim World women get stoned every morning.
Before leaving for the office, here honey,
a pebble, ok bye. No but wait a second...
You don't see that this is American propaganda
to go steal their oil? Are you blind?
But it is in the medias.
Whatever... Look...
People, people are waking up.
People are conscious now.
What do you believe? Americans...
That western women are a role model
for the rest of the human specie.
No, i don't believe i'm a role model
but it does not go so bad for me.
Ah... no. Not really, not really.
First, that hair color.
That's what shock people.
The liver expresses itself.
No but western women, but wait.
And the antidepressants epidemic, you heard?
Suicide, plastic surgery, fear of aging,
you believe this is progress?
What are you taling about?
