- Truth or lie?
Choosing what body language
you're going to use
in any given situation is
inauthentic and so bad.
This is something that
gets talked about a lot
at the moment 'cause
people like talking about
and like thinking about whether
they are being authentic
or not being authentic.
And we're told constantly
to be authentic.
- Yeah, inauthentic bad.
Inauthentic bad, authentic good.
- Find my authentic self,
be my authentic self.
- Yeah good.
- Yes.
- Being inauthentic, bad.
- So let's break this down a bit
'cause I think this is interesting.
So if I put a picture on a dating site,
I am assuming that I'm going
to put some nice clothes on.
I'm probably gonna get my hair done.
- Make the best of yourself.
- Gonna make the best of myself.
- Yeah, you're in the market.
- In the book for example.
- Yeah why, you're married to me.
I don't know why you're
putting a picture on a site.
- Well.
- That's actually pretty upsetting.
Anyway.
- Why therefore would it
be incorrect to also bring
the best body language forward to show
the best of yourself.
- Right, so look if I need to be confident
in an interview.
- Right.
- Why can't I use the body language
of confidence?
- Correct.
- 'Cause I might not be like
totally confident internally,
I'm going uh oh, I don't know
whether I'll get this or not.
I don't know whether
they'll like me or not.
It might be really important to me.
So authentically I may have some anxiety
but I want to project
to those interviewers
my confidence.
So this idea of don't
fake it until you make it.
I don't think that's accurate
because you can't fake anything
that you weren't already
gonna be pretty good
at in the first place.
You can't do behaviors
that you don't already
have something of the ability to do.
You're just enhancing,
amplifying, making bigger
something that you already have.
You know, even Picasso,
even Picasso would look
at fake Picasso's and call them Picasso's
'cause he thought they were good enough.
So the key point is here
that putting on a behavior
isn't necessarily inauthentic.
It's just sometimes showing your best.
- For more tips on body language
check out our website, truthplane.com
and pick up our book, Truth and Lies
What People Are Really Thinking.
