 
### Lucky Lucette

### By Mia Rodriguez

### Copyright 2015 Mia Rodriguez

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

### Dedication

Thanks to all my readers who support my very eclectic work. A special thank you goes to Sydthekidwashere for convincing me to keep writing for young adults when I was already steering away from the genre. I hope you enjoy this book.

### Table of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

More, More, More

Preface

Lucette's Love Letter:

Dear most incredible guy,

_Please read_ _all_ _of this letter before you wad it up and chuck it. Please. I'm so sorry for so many things. At seventeen there's still so much for me to learn. How can I even begin? Well, here goes:_

I'm sorry for not appreciating you more.

I'm sorry for taking you for granted.

I'm sorry for not seeing you for who you really were.

I'm sorry for turning away from your hugs.

I'm sorry for not believing your kisses.

I'm sorry for refusing to dive into your heart.

I'm sorry for breathing you in only to then force your life giving oxygen out.

I'm sorry for running away from you.

I'm sorry for callously breaking your heart.

_You're so amazing that I just couldn't believe you were for real. I couldn't get it through my heart that all you wanted was to care about me. Love me for_ _real_ _and not fake love me. I understand that now. Sorry it took so long._

It was just so scary for me to be in love. It was so terrifying to get head over heels involved with another human being. I abruptly turned away from you. I didn't want to listen to you.

_I'm_ _so_ _sorry. That's all I can say._

_I'm so sorry_ _for everything, for refusing to care for you like you cared for me. I know that nothing can make up for what I did to you, for me running out on you with so little consideration of your feelings._

Even if it's too late for us, I want you to know how I feel.

You deserve much more than I ever gave you, so please find someone deserving of you. Don't settle for less. Don't settle for someone who doesn't give you her whole heart. Remember that you're the best. The absolute and most awesome best!

I will never ever forget you.

Sincerely,

_The girl who_ _now_ _realizes how much your love is worth_

### Chapter 1

Lucette's side of the story:

I had _always_ been a lucky girl.

_Always_ popular—everyone in my high school knew my name.

_Always_ voted most beautiful.

_Always_ had lots of money in my pocket—my parents are really rich.

_Always_ wore the latest designer clothes—Kim Kardashian had nothing over on me.

_Always_ drove the most expensive fast cars.

_Always_ thought life would be easy.

"You're so lucky!" my friends would tell me often with envy heavy in their voices. "Lucky Lucette!" That was how my nickname was born.

_But_ luck is fickle.

It runs out.

Justin's side of the story:

I desperately look for Lucette all over our townhouse apartment! I just got home from work, and I can't believe I can't find her! I look everywhere!

OMG!!!

Where is she?!!!

Where's my lovely Lucette?! Where can she be?! Where's my wife?!

I call her, but her cell phone is on our dresser. My head is spinning! My heart is trying to explode out of my chest!

She's gone!!! What could've happened to her?!!!

Rushing to my neighbors in the apartments next door, I beg them for any information about my wife. No one has seen anything!!!

I'm totally freaking out!

I'm out of my mind!

I love my wife sooo much! She's everything to me—my breath, my soul, my core. She's who I think about first thing in the morning and the last thing before I fall asleep. She owns my entire heart!

We both may be only seventeen, but we know the meaning of true love more than most people. We know what it's like to be totally dedicated to each other. We know we belong to one another.

Where's my wife?!!!

Chapter 2

Lucette:

Tic Toc.

Tic Toc.

I'm terrified, numb, and sick to my stomach.

What's going to happen to me?!

It's impossible to know at this point.

Did I just make a huge mistake?

Justin:

With each passing moment, with each ticking of the clock, I get more and more desperate. Twisting agony!

Where's my wife?!!!

Why is life being so cruel to me? What did I do to deserve this?! My sobs try to reach the heavens.

_Please, please give me my wife back,_ I pray over and over again. _Bring her back to where she belongs._

Show mercy on me!

I pace the floors in an intense frenzy. I love my wife like I've never loved anyone. Not _anyone_. That's why I married Lucette Nuñez and not for the reason everyone thinks—that it was because she was pregnant. She's the light in my life and the reason for every decision I make. Sounds hokey, right? Especially for a guy saying it but it's totally true. From the moment I saw her in school I knew I would love her forever.

Yeah, it was love at first sight. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Even though we're both only teens doesn't mean we're too young to find our soulmates. I hate it when people don't take what me and Lucette feel for each other seriously as if only old people can find true love. How stupid is that? Grrrr! Really stupid.

True love is for everybody—age doesn't matter! That's what I believe.

My love story with Lucette is for forever. Forget Bella and Edward, Katniss and Peeta, Romeo and Juliet.

Forget them!

Justin and Lucette—that's where it's really at!

When my dad, the giant jerk that he is, made the family move from Dallas where our lives were settled to San Antonio to start all over just because he lost his job when in a fit of anger he socked the boss, I was livid. I really didn't want to leave home. I had a girlfriend there at the time, and I _thought_ I was in love. But I realized as soon as I saw Lucette that I hadn't really known what love was. At that moment I was grateful that my father had forced us to move.

Fortunately, Lucette fell for me too. She told me that she considered herself a _very_ lucky girl to be with me. Not to brag or anything but there were many girls trying to catch my attention. They'd pass my house at all hours giggling and calling out my name, shove passionate notes in my locker, and find reasons to go up to me to ask me silly questions. It would drive Lucette totally bonkers. But I would tell her she had nothing to worry about. Those other girls caused zero movement in my heart.

Lucette was the only girl for me. I admit that I played hard to get at first even though I was already in love with her. It's good to test the waters before jumping in but after we got together, I didn't have even a single urge to turn to look at other girls even when they were wearing their skankiest of outfits. I had total respect for my girlfriend. Besides, no one could compare to her beauty with her long blond hair, her sparkling green eyes, and her very thin body. I repeat, Lucette was the only girl for me. Definitely.

Now she's disappeared!!!

Where can she be?!

I call her parents to feel them out about the whereabouts of their daughter. They're handling business in Europe for a few months, and I need to know if by any chance she's joined them. I tell them that I'm calling because I'm planning a special gift for Lucette because I love her so much. "What are her favorite flowers?" I ask. Of course I already know the answer.

"Daffodils," Mrs. Nuñez informs me.

Her parents ask to speak to her, so I have to come to the conclusion that they have no idea she's missing. I promptly respond, "Lucette is probably on an errand or with friends."

I'm lying, of course. She's for sure doing neither. Lucette and I never keep anything from one another. She always tells me what she's got planned for her day _and_ she doesn't have any friends.

But I don't want to needlessly worry her parents until I'm sure about what's happening.

As soon as I get off the line with them, I quickly call the police. They guffaw telling me she has to be missing much longer in order for them to look for her. " _Maybe she went shopping,"_ they smirk.

But I know they're wrong. She isn't shopping. Something very bad has happened!

Very, _very_ bad!

The voice inside of me that I've been ignoring shouts at me. The nagging, painful suspicion demands that I finally listen to it. It screeches until my ears want to detonate and my heart wants to shatter.

I rush to our closet. My head spins. Nausea reaches my throat. I can't stop praying that my suspicion is wrong.

Some of her clothes are gone!

One of our suitcases is missing!

_Face the truth!!!_ I demand of myself.

Lucette hasn't been abducted. She didn't get lost on her way home. She's most certainly not shopping.

Simply, she left me. My heart thumps a million beats a minute. Sobs get stuck in my throat. My head throbs so much it wants to explode.

_Why did she leave?_ I cry to myself, the words slicing into me like sharp ruthless knives.

Chapter 3

Lucette:

The waiting game. Nerve wracking. Uber scary. Mega stressful.

But it just so happens to my endless relief that I don't have to wait long for him. Alejo arrives promptly to take me far, far away—to my new life. I smile in gratitude to my new lifeline. He smiles back.

In the car at full speed ahead I relax a little and try to look at this as an adventure. _But_ I just can't be so nonchalant about it. Escaping everything and everyone you know is scary. Do I really know what I'm doing?

Alejo chats pleasantly but when I don't respond, he's kind enough to leave me to my thoughts. I take my mind back to the place where I really messed up.

I wish so, _so_ badly I could go back in a time machine and set things right!

But I can't. All I can do is look back and try to learn from it. I can't change the past, right?

My memory wrenches my heart as I go back to high school. It was an amazing experience for me. I know that some of you want to slap me for that. I know now that for most young adults school is a horrible place to spend teenhood. I don't blame you for despising me for having loved high school, but I have to tell you the truth. I don't want to lie even to be able to make friends with you.

I really feel I need to go all out with what's true. I'm just so tired of lying to myself to survive. One thing I will ask of you, beg of you, is to not judge me until you know my whole story. It'll make you think about things, for sure.

Anyway, as I was saying, high school was amazing for me. I was the most popular person there. Other girls copied my style, I was invited to all the best parties, and boys kept asking me out. I never had to wonder what it was like to be rejected.

Yeah, go ahead and say it.

I was a huge, snobby jerk.

I'm now ashamed to say that my peers' problems didn't matter much to me. Their experiences with bullying, rejection, pimples, raging insecurities, volcano hormones, and blistering awkwardness were as foreign to me as a trip to Siberia. I just couldn't relate to those horrors at all.

I couldn't sympathize or empathize. Being in a glass castle will do it to you every time! Then Justin Swaggart came into my life.

Everything changed for me.

Everything.

Justin:

The next day it occurs to me to check the laptop to see what Lucette had been up to last. I know her password. As I said before, we shared everything. Sure enough, I find an email to her parents. I'm sure they haven't opened it yet or they would've said something about it. The Nuñez parents have problems with working technology, so they only check their email sporadically.

Mom and dad,

I left my home. I need some time to myself. Don't worry about me.

Lucette

I want to explode!

How could she have done this to me?! To us?! To our sacred bond?!

You're probably thinking that my marriage to Lucette must've been full of problems for her to have left me like this—without even a tiny goodbye. But you'd be wrong!

You'd be wrong bigtime!

We hardly ever fought. That's the truth. Now, let me tell you that just because we loved each other didn't mean we didn't have problems. All couples do, I imagine. I have to admit that my temper can get a little hot sometimes, but Lucette can be every bit as thorny as me. For example, we had a heated argument when she got pregnant. She was very upset that my condom hadn't worked. I chuckled and told her that these things happened, that maybe it was fate that she got knocked up.

"Stop laughing about it!" she had demanded. "My pregnancy is a very serious thing!"

"I'm not laughing at our situation. It's just that I'm so happy about it!"

"Happy?"

"My lovely Lucette, we're going to have a baby— the fruit of our love."

"You really think it's not a problem?" she questioned, her eyes anxious.

"Marry me!" I blurted enthusiastically.

"You only want to marry me because of the baby," Lucette declared, upset.

I held her face in my hands. "I want to marry you because you're the love of my life, and we belong together."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Soulmates forever."

"Forever, " I murmured.

Everything was settled in my mind. Lucette was pregnant, we loved one another, and we'd tie the knot and live happily ever after. What I didn't count on was that her parents, who were rabidly furious when they found out about the pregnancy, nearly severed all ties with their daughter. They would barely speak to her. They confiscated her car and credit cards. They cut off her money supply. They said that if she was old enough to be a mother and wife, she was old enough to take care of herself without their help.

That was a very harsh blow for Lucette. She was totally freaked out.

I, of course, would work at several jobs when I could. I never returned to high school. Instead, I studied for my GED. She stayed in school for a short while, but then she followed my lead by quitting—she just couldn't face her new reality and loss of popularity.

I hate to say this about my own wife but she really cares about being popular and all that crap! She cares about designer labels on her clothes and shoes and about all kinds of admiration. It's the sad truth! Yet, I love her despite her superficiality. What can I say?—I'm a hopeless romantic who accepts her for who she is.

I'm jolted when I come back to the horrible reality that she left me.

For some kind of a reason she threw away my love for her!—just like that!

Then it occurs to me, like a comet hitting earth, why she abandoned me. _Simple. Money. What else?_ _It's got to be that,_ I tell myself in frustration. No matter how much I worked, how much overtime I killed myself for, I just couldn't give her the life she was used to with her rich parents.

Ahhhhhhhh!

It really hurts to realize the importance of money to some people! To me, love is much more important, but you can't make those you love believe like you do—no matter how much you bust yourself to prove yourself to them!

I have to come to terms with the fact that Lucette loves very expensive clothes, fancy cars, and full wallets more than me. What an idiot I've been thinking that my love would be enough for her!

A big idiot!

I shriek in awful agony, needing to let all the pain out before it burns me alive.

Then another shocking thought crashes into me. _What if she found another guy who can give her what I can't?_

Now that she isn't pregnant, she isn't as attached to me. It becomes clear to me why she did what she did to get rid of the baby.

Why she fell on the stairs.

She was already thinking of leaving me, I'm sure. I had suspected, a nagging suspicion, that she was seeing someone else behind my back. Another sharp cry escapes my mouth. _What's next for her,_ I wonder. _Will she divorce me?_

Sob. Weep. Anger.

Chapter 4

Lucette:

We stop at a house—a small, nondescript home belonging to a good friend of Alejo's. We'll be staying there for the night.

"You doing fine?" Alejo asks, helping me with my suitcase.

_Such politeness and consideration of my feelings,_ I tell myself. I like Alejo very much.

"Yes, I'm fine," I murmur. I'm lying. I'm scared crapless. This is the most dramatic thing I've ever done. Even getting pregnant and marrying my high school sweetheart can't compare to this.

"You sure?" he persists, towering over me. His light brown mane ruffles when a breeze catches it, and I wish I could be as careless as his hair.

I nod silently. "Yeah."

"I'm here for you," the 50-year-old says.

I nod again, but I'm really not okay. How can I be with my life being up in the air like it is? Do I regret my decision? Am I having second thoughts? It's a firm no to both. But . . . still . . . I'm scared.

I'm really scared.

Making a life changing choice is the hardest of the hard no matter how you look at it, right? Turning your whole life upside down and then shaking it, so it transforms completely can be horrifying, right?

I think about what I left behind and shudder. Actually shake with a painful tremble going through me.

Justin.

Lucky Lucette's back story of romance:

I was such a silly girl in those days leading up to my meeting Justin. A very clueless and carefree girl.

High School was a game. _My_ amazing game, I believed. One that as the most popular girl in school belonged to me.

Yes, I know—ugg! What a snob! I'm cringing too!

Girls would fight to walk beside me, and boys would beg for a date. Frankly, I was a little bored with the whole worshipping of me situation. Again, _ugg_!—how arrogant and conceited of me! Why couldn't I have known then what I know now?

Anyway, let's keep going with my story:

Everything at school was the same every day. If I would've cracked a book once in a while maybe I would've found school more interesting, but I foolishly believed that there was no reason to get good grades. My parents were rich and I was convinced they were obligated to support me financially for the rest of my life. I would one day inherit their money when they died and weren't around to support me. I had it all worked out in my head.

What a huge jerk I was, right?

See what I mean about me being a clueless, silly girl back then?

Somewhat bored and disconnected with reality, I was ripe for the picking when Justin Swaggart suddenly appeared in my life. One day he showed up at school after he and his family had moved to San Antonio from Dallas. His black hair and blue eyes were mesmerizing. With his leather jacket, torn blue jeans, and a sneer on his good-looing face, he spelled danger. He was obviously from the wrong side of the tracks and didn't come from wealth the way I did.

All the girls tripped all over themselves to be with his hot self. I decided I would be the one to catch him. He ignored me for a while. He had so many girls to choose from. This drove me totally nuts. After all, he was the first boy to ever reject me. I knew I had to have him.

Just had to.

He finally stopped playing hard to get when I decided that the best way to get him was to join his game. I started ignoring him. It did the trick! No sooner had I flirted with Virgil Perez that Justin grabbed my arm and dragged me away from Virgil. The girls stared at me with envy.

"What are you doing with that idiot?!" Justin had snapped, his nostrils flaring.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "What do you care?"

His eyes melded themselves into mine. "Maybe I care a lot!"

From that day on we were inseparable. Our destinies were on a collision course.

We got serious really fast! It seemed like we went from point zero to a hundred in only a few seconds. We were just so into each other—it felt like our need for one another was much stronger than what happened in any movie. We spent every moment we could together.

My parents strongly disapproved of us, and not for the reasons you might think. It wasn't his tough guy looks that made my parents automatically dislike him. In fact, they scorned him way before they even met him. I had told them about a guy I was seeing when they started to question why I was never home.

"What's this fella's name?" my father had quickly interrogated. I really dreaded the question because I knew perfectly well where he was heading.

"Justin," I rushed, hoping his first name would be enough.

"What's his last name?" my mother burst, her face scrunched. She was already suspecting that my new boyfriend wasn't of our class.

"Swaggart," I murmured. I decided I might as well get over with it.

My father's eyebrows shot up. "Swaggart? I don't know any Swaggarts. Where are they from?"

"Dallas," I said quickly.

My father's face turned perplexed. "The Dallas Swaggarts?"

"Where does Justin Swaggart live?" my mother shot at me, her face still scrunched.

I sighed. I was tired of this game and decided to come clean. "He's not rich like us."

"What?" burst my father, tightly scrunching his face like my mother was doing.

I eyed them with exasperation. "His family isn't wealthy."

"Lucette, are you deliberately trying to provoke us?" snapped my mother.

"What are you talking about?" I burst.

My father shook his head at me. "You know perfectly well what we mean," he snapped, his eyes in a slit. "This Justin Swaggart is not of our class and—"

"I don't care!" I retorted.

My father shook his head more vigorously. "This Justin boy is just not appropriate for you, Lucette, and you know it!"

"Really, Lucette!" my mother burst. "What are you thinking?"

Fury burned me. "Justin is an awesome guy if you would only bother to get to know him!"

"We don't need to get to know him to recognize he's not the right boy for you," proclaimed my father.

My mother vigorously nodded, in complete agreement with my father. "Honestly, Lucette!—why can't you be more like your cousin Lynette? Her boyfriend is Bryson Bennett. His family is from very old money. Now that's class!"

I growled under my breath. I totally hated being compared to my cousin!

"Whatever would you and this boy have in common?" sneered my father.

"You'd be surprised," I retorted.

My parents' disapproval of Justin only served to make me want him more. I fought hard to be with him and my mother and father just couldn't handle my obstinacy. In fact, they had never been able to say no to me. I pretty much got all I wanted from them. I guess being an only child made them want to give me all they could, and I wanted a boy named Justin. So not even my family could keep Justin and me apart.

_Justin and I must be soulmates,_ I would tell myself with a long sigh. In my view we were like Romeo and Juliet—fighting for our relationship, going against whoever and whatever to be together, feeling more and more intoxicated with one another.

We were in his old car on the freeway when he suddenly pulled over to the shoulder. I eyed him with surprise.

"Why are we stopping?" I questioned, concerned. Had his old jalopy stopped working?

Justin abruptly turned to me. "I couldn't go another second without telling you something I should've already told you, Lucette."

"What do you want to tell me?" I questioned, worried he was going to say something awful to me. Maybe he was going to have to move back to Dallas. That would be sooo horrible!

He took my face in his hands and gazed deeply into my eyes. "I love you, Lucette Nuñez!"

Stunned, I stared back at him.

"I just wanted to tell you that," he continued.

I just couldn't believe he had said it first! _What an awesome guy,_ I told myself.

"Do you want to say something back to me?" he questioned, his tone worried and chastising.

"I love you too, Justin Swaggart," I murmured. _What a romantic movie scene!!!_ I said to myself. The moment was overwhelming me! _It must be a fairytale everafter love_ — _the kind that lasts forever and ever and ever._

Justin let out a breath of relief. His hands tightened on my face and brought my lips to his. I opened my mouth to him readily and totally.

The kiss.

Magical.

Sealing us together.

When we disengaged, words rushed out of his mouth, "Lucette, I've never felt this way about any other girl. I swear you're like the air that I breathe and the blood coursing through my veins. _I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!"_

What girl wouldn't have had her head turned with such flattery? With such heartfelt emotions?

This was before everything came crashing down. The unthinkable happened.

I got pregnant.

Everything turned terribly wrong.

Justin:

You know when you're having one of those horrific dreams that you can't wake up from? Well, that's how I feel.

I'm in a nightmare I can't shake off!!!

My wife left me!

Why would she hurt me like this?

All I ever did was love her!!!

Having finally read Lucette's email, her parents call me in a panic. I patiently sit through while they read to me the e-mail that I had already read. I try to stay calm during their freaking out.

"Why'd she leave you?" her father bursts.

"I don't know," I murmur.

"Do you have any idea where she went?" her mother questions, her voice constrained and shaky.

This is the most worried I've seen them. Well, let me correct that, this is actually the second most worried time. The loss of my baby with Lucette was number one. They were pretty shaken up then and were constantly in the hospital with her. They still hadn't forgiven her, but at least they were talking to her and very upset over the miscarriage that could've also killed her when she fell on the stairs.

A surge of pain slaps into me. Just thinking about our lost baby does that. Why had my wife caused the miscarriage?

Why hadn't she wanted to have our baby?

"I don't know where Lucette could've gone," I respond to Mrs. Nuñez, sighing. I really don't know much about Lucette's crazy reasoning.

"She didn't even give a hint that she was leaving?" Mr. Nuñez questions.

"No," I curtly answer. "I didn't see it coming at all, or you can bet I would've done everything I could to help her with whatever she's going through." I sigh deeply. "I thought I had done that, but obviously Lucette didn't think so."

"She must be still hurting about the baby," Mrs. Nuñez reasons.

"Yes," I murmur.

"Maybe it's better to give her some space," Mrs. Nuñez continues.

"That may be for the best," agrees Mr. Nuñez.

"Yes," I murmur again.

"I guess we'll stay in Europe for now. I still have all lot of business to take care of. Please contact us straightaway if you hear from her," Mr. Nuñez requests.

"Please do the same for me and call me immediately if _you_ hear from her," I respond.

As soon as I hang up, I snatch Lucette's picture in a frame sitting on the cocktail table I'm next to and fling it to the wall. It shatters, being an exact reflection of my splintered emotions.

I make a snap decision. I'll hire a detective to look for her. She needs to tell me to my face why she left me. It doesn't make sense!

I did nothing but love her. I worshipped her. I did everything I could to make our relationship work.

What more does she want from me? I forgave her for what happened to our baby. Isn't that a big deal to her?

How could she leave me?

Is she with another guy?

How can she think that someone else will give her what I did?!

I'm in agony! I need some freakin' answers!

NOW!!!

Chapter 5

Lucette:

It starts raining so hard that Alejo tells me we shouldn't go on the road. The streets are slick and there are many accidents on the San Antonio roads. We'll have to wait at his friend's house before continuing our journey.

I say okay. That he probably knows best.

The steadiness of the rain lulls my brain, making it hazy and tranquil. Pictures pop up in my mind. My life with Justin keeps flashing before my eyes.

The pregnancy.

I don't need to tell you what a _freak out_ experience that was, do I? I've heard about some girls who get pregnant on purpose—you know, to get their boyfriends to marry them.

I can promise you that wasn't me.

I really didn't want to get pregnant, but Justin's condom must've had a hole in it. I've learned now that a person shouldn't carry condoms in the wallet as Justin used to do to show his fawning buddies that he was _the_ dude at school.

Anyway, I had fallen fast and hard into his arms one day when he told me something about loving me forever and our destiny being with each other.

You know, syrupy crap like that.

He told me he had left a girlfriend in Dallas, but he never felt for her what he felt for me. I fell for it hook, line, and sinker! I deep kissed him, my heart melting. I was sure I was in love. What else could my racing heart and foggy head mean?

I then let him undress me and _take_ me like in a romance novel or movie. It was my first time. I had decided a long time ago that I would only give up my virginity to true love. My first time had to be the most special of special.

I gave it to Justin with a completely sighing heart and without looking back.

"We're meant for one another," he had kept assuring me.

I totally believed him. Then I got pregnant and freaked out, but after talking to an excited Justin, I was completely in rapture about marrying him and having our baby.

When I told my parents, they had such a cow that I wanted to hide under the dining room table as they roared. A conniption fit of epic proportions! Their shrilling yells still ring in my ears:

"How could you do this to us?!"

"Haven't we given you everything?!"

"Weren't we the best of parents?!"

"Why did you decide to destroy your life like this?!—and destroy ours in the process?!"

They hated the idea of what their so called friends and acquaintances would say about the situation. My parents were always worried about what others would think and worked hard at keeping up appearances. When they bought something, it had to be recognized as being the most exclusive, the very best, and the most expensive.

"You've completely disillusioned your mother and me," my father had muttered with dripping disgust in his voice. "Lucette, you're such a disappointment."

"Our only daughter—getting pregnant! _And_ marrying such a common, no-class person. How can we ever get over it?" my mother announced as she placed her face into her hands and sobbed. "We expected so much more from you, Lucette."

My parents' words were like sharp, killer arrows to my heart. They tore into my bull's-eye without any hesitation or remorse. Their attitudes furiously kicked me to the ground.

"Go make a life with that Justin person and leave us to our shame," my father had snapped.

Deeply hurt, I decided Justin would have to become my _everything_. I swooned at the mere mention of his name. My parents had basically disowned me. They took away my credit cards, my car, and their financial support.

The worst, though, was that they had taken their love, their conditional love, away from me.

That's why I clung to Justin—to his love and married him in a tiny ceremony that included only the judge and a few witnesses. I tried to keep going to school despite my parents having taken my rich girl identity away from me but soon dropped out when I couldn't stand the whispers in the hallways, and the complete fall from grace in everyone's eyes.

I was worse than a _nobody._

I was a person to make fun of and feel sorry for.

Justin:

It's raining so hard. Is my wife safe? I can't help worrying about her. Does she have enough food, shelter, and other necessities? I can't help but worry about her now that she isn't under my watchful and caring attention.

Yeah, I'm furious that she left me— _hopefully_ not for some other guy but just to get herself together. JUST TO GET HER HEAD STRAIGHT!

I'll desperately cling to that hope—the hope that she'll come to her senses soon and come back to my arms.

Come back to me!

Where she belongs and should've never left!!!

Chapter 6

Lucette:

It's stopped raining. Alejo and I finally leave.

As we're on our way out of San Antonio, I see my parents' very exclusive neighborhood. I think about my parents' mansion, about their trip to Europe. How are they? Have they read my email yet? Are they worried about me? They were so awesome when the miscarriage happened.

I actually felt loved by them again.

"Alejo, can we make a small change of plans?" I murmur, my voice shaky.

His light brown eyes stare at me with curiosity. "Change of plans?"

"Can we stop at my parents' home just for a few minutes, so I can use their phone to call them in Europe and tell them I'm fine?" Luckily, I still have keys to their house, and I really want to feel the familiarity of my old home, even if it's only for a short moment.

Justin:

It had finally stopped raining like crazy after a few days. Some of the streets in San Antonio had flooded. Still, the rain hadn't stopped me from doing what I had to do. I hired the best detective I could find to track Lucette down—Cory Ramaldi.

My wife has to answer for what she did to me!

When Ramaldi calls me to tell me he thinks he sees Lucette at her parents' home, I'm beside myself. I just can't believe I've found her! Ramaldi had insisted on staking out the Nuñez house because he said it was logical that she'd show up there, even with her parents in Europe.

"Look, I'm not absolutely positive it's her," Ramaldi explains, "but it sure looks like her from where I'm at. Some guy is with her."

I just about explode. Who is this home-wrecking guy?! I knew it! I knew she had left me for some jerk!

Why hadn't her parents called me to tell me she had shown up at their house? Hadn't we made an agreement? I'm furious! I'm livid!

I jump into my car and drive like mad to their mansion, to their super exclusive place. At Ramaldi's hiding place in the middle of numerous trees in front of the mansion, he sees me all shaken and asks, "Maybe you shouldn't confront your wife like that."

"If she's in there then I need to know!"

"Okay, but please calm yourself."

He doesn't want to blow his cover, so I go at it alone. As I'm stepping away from Ramaldi's surveillance point to head towards the mansion's front door, a thought suddenly occurs to me.

"She hasn't left the mansion, has she?" I question gruffly, turning to face him.

"No, why do you ask?"

"I had to have the guard call the house to verify who I was in order for them to let me in to the subdivision."

"She's still in there." Ramaldi confidently asserts.

"Well, then she must know I'm on the way. I'm sure whoever took the call already told her."

"So it appears."

I stride to the mansion door. Luckily for both me and Ramaldi, the electrified gate was on the blink and we had no problems getting to the house. Pounding on the doorbell, he butler finally answers. He tells me to wait as he goes to the living room to talk to the person taking care of the home. The house-sitter. I ignore him and stride across the foyer to the living room. The butler rushes after me in a worried frenzy.

"He wouldn't wait to be announced," the butler explains to Lucette's cousin, out of breath.

"It's okay, Jeeves," Lynette asserts, curiosity on her face as she eyes me. "What are you doing here, Justin?"

"Where is she?" I burst, my eyes darting everywhere.

Lynette's eyebrows come together. "Who?"

"Who else would I be talking about?" I snap.

"Justin, why in the world are you here?" Lynette questions again. "And for heaven's sake, what are you talking about?"

I can't believe she's playing games with me. My frustration meter is off the charts! My boiling point has been reached! She thinks she can hide Lucette from me! I grab a large, fancy vase nearby and hurl it to the wall. It violently breaks in large sharp chunks.

"What's got into you?!" Lynette snaps furiously. "Do you know how much that vase was worth?!"

"Where's my wife?" I menace, growling.

"Lucette?!—is that what this insanity is about?!" bursts Lynette. "Justin, you're acting like a lunatic!"

"Should I call security?" Jeeves questions.

" _Where. Is. She_?" I threaten, snarling.

"How should I know?" retorts Lynette. "You're the one who's her husband!"

Just then I see a young man about my age step in the room with a puzzled face. Everything becomes suddenly clear! My heart completely deflates. I now know what happened. I'm going to kill that idiot Ramaldi!

"What's all the commotion, Lynette?" the young man questions.

"The madman my cousin is married to burst in here and broke my aunt's favorite vase!" snaps Lynette.

"Sorry," I blurt as I start rushing out the room onto the foyer. "Send me the bill for the vase," I say over my shoulder as I reach the door and swing it open.

Let me tell you that I just can't high-tail it out fast enough. I'm red-faced. Super embarrassed. I just made a fool out of myself in front of Lucette's cousin. Lynette is probably calling my in-laws at this very moment to tell them what just happened.

Lucette's parents never liked me in the first place. Now they'll like me even less!

Reaching Ramaldi, I have to control the huge urge to punch him. Idiot! All this was his fault!

"Did you find her?" he questions.

I take a deep breath and unsnarl my fingers. "The girl you saw is Lucette's cousin! The guy she was with is her boyfriend!"

"Oops, my bad," Ramaldi mutters. "It's just that from the picture you gave me of your wife, she and her cousin look like each other. They seem to have the same build and coloring."

"You idiot!"

"Hey now," Ramaldi bursts furiously, "I told you not to go in there, didn't I?"

"I pay you good money to do your job so do it, you stupid, worthless piece of crap!!!"

Ramaldi starts stomping towards his car. "I don't have to take this! I'll refund your money."

Calming down, I rush after him. I don't want to get another detective. He's the cheapest one with the best recommendations I could find. "Don't take it so personal, Ramaldi. I apologize. I'm just freaked out about my wife."

He stops in his tracks to eye me carefully. "There's something about you that rubs me the wrong way. Something I can't quite put my finger on. Today, you proved my instincts right. I don't want to work for you. Get yourself another detective."

Chapter 7

Lucette:

I really want to stop at my parents' home on the way out of San Antonio, but Alejo convinces me that it isn't a good idea.

"We need to keep to the plan," he says.

When I think about it, I realize he's right. Once we leave San Antonio, tears roll down my eyes. I wonder how my parents are doing in Europe.

A few hours later, I ask Alejo if he needs help with the driving. El Paso is a long way from San Antonio. He must be getting tired.

"No, I'm fine," he says. "Thanks for the offer though."

This man is just so polite. I really like him.

The road seems endless but many hours later, we arrive at our desert destination. How am I feeling? Scared. Excited. I'm about to start a new life. What kind of life will it be?

Justin:

"Dad, I really need the money," I plead with my jerk father over the phone. I totally hate doing it—despise it with everything I have inside of me. But I swallow my pride.

I absolutely have to find my wife!

That Ramaldi idiot had walked out on me. I tell myself that it was for the better. The moron couldn't detective himself out of a paper bag! I had found a much better detective. One of those relentless people who had served in the military under special assignment. He's as tough as can be!

Ratchet is a bulldozer!

But the thing is that his price is much higher than Ramaldi's fee. Ratchet guarantees his work, though. He told me he'd return my money if he couldn't find Lucette.

"I'll find her, kid," he had growled. "I've never had to return any money! I've never failed. I never will."

Now, the trick would be to convince my jerk father to loan me the cash.

"Please, Dad," I plead. It makes me sick to my stomach to do so, but I don't have any choice.

"Jane!" my father yells out to my mother. Believe it or not, I can actually hear the alcohol coursing through his system. "Your son is whining like a little girl that he needs something from me!" he warbles with glee. He loves it that I'm begging. "I thought that the last time you called me," he's retorts, back to talking to me, "you told me how much you hated me and what a terrible father I've been."

I really regret having told him that stuff. Even though what I had told him was true. I should've kept my big trap shut. How could've I have possibly known that I would need his help?

I clear my throat. "Dad, I'm sorry—"

"You'd better be, you little punk!"

"You have every right to be upset with me, Dad."

"Darn straight!"

"I said the most disgusting things to you."

"Jane, get your ugly, useless self over here!" he commands, yelling at my mom again, "so you can hear what your worthless son is telling me!"

I clear my throat again. I'd really need to grovel. Ugggg! No choice. "I'm soooo sorry, Dad. Very, _very_ sorry. I'd do anything to take back what I said. I—"

"Hey, stop that!" he demands, snapping. "I didn't raise a sniveling woos!!!"

"Yes, Dad." I'm relieved the groveling appears to be over.

"If I loan you that money you'd better pay me back!"

"Yes, Dad, of course."

"And with interest!"

"Yes, Dad."

"How much do you need?"

Chapter 8

Lucette:

I stare at the outside of the small but nice house I'll now be living at. It's a sky blue with white shutters on the windows and a very pretty flower garden in the front. Wondering what kind of life I'll have from now on, I sigh. Going from the lush green of San Antonio to the dry desert of El Paso is quite an eye opening experience.

"You okay?" questions Alejo, grabbing my suitcase from the car trunk.

"Yes, fine," I murmur, lying. My nerves are about to burst.

"Shall we?" he asks, pointing at the door.

"Yes." I follow him to the white door. A matt with the word welcome in huge bright yellow letters is under our feet. I don't know why the silly thing makes me feel better.

Alejo starts knocking on the door. There's no doorbell. I take in a sharp breath when I hear the shuffling of feet from the inside.

"Everything's going to be great," he tells me with a cheerful smile.

I nod, gulping painfully. My throat is too dry to say anything.

The door swings open and a woman and a man stare at us with luminous grins—the kind of smiles that light up a whole neighborhood of Christmas trees.

"We're so glad you were able to make it here!" the woman bursts as she abruptly hugs me. I'm completely taken by surprise! Her arms enclose me in a warm and safe cocoon. Tears fill my eyes. She stops squeezing and faces me. "I'm Consuelo Sanchez." Her Spanish pronunciation of her name is like pretty music. "I'm so glad you're here, Araceli."

Araceli Fileto.

My new name. I'd better get used to it fast.

"Thank you," I murmur, forcing myself not to shed the water from my stinging eyes. Letting me go, I feel a little lost outside her circle of warmth.

"Araceli, I'm Mauricio Sanchez," the man says, extending his hand. I shake it and then he surprisingly gives me a quick hug. "Yes, Consuelo and I are so thrilled you're here with us."

After introductions are made with Alejo, the Sanchezes enthusiastically lead us into their house. The home is very colorful, let me tell you. I don't think I've ever been in one quite like this one. The homes I had been in, including my parents' mansion, were usually filled with quiet, monotone colors—beiges, whites, and silent hues that don't stand out. The Sanchez home is filled with pastels, brightness, and roaring colors.

The Sanchezes take me on a tour of the small house. They say they want me to be completely comfortable in it. The walls in every room are a different eye-catching color. Turquoise in the living room, light pink in the hallway, sky blue in the bathrooms, and sea foam green in the two bedrooms. One of them will be mine. Alejo deposits my suitcase on the twin bed of my new room.

"Now that Araceli is settled in," announces Alejo, "I need to be leaving."

"Not so fast," Mr. Sanchez bursts," Consuelo and I prepared a feast to celebrate Araceli's coming to live with us. You have to stay for it!"

"Yes, you must," Mrs. Sanchez asserts.

Alejo smiles. He likes the Sanchezes as much as I do. "Thank you for the invitation."

They lead us to the canary yellow kitchen. Both Alejo and I gasp in unison. The Sanchezes weren't kidding about the feast. The center oak table is full of colorful pots. The kind you see in the movies with Mexico as the background.

The picturesque pots are filled with all types of Mexican food—tacos, enchiladas, spicy roasted chicken, and other dishes I can't quite recognize. Dessert isn't left out. Flan, cake, fruit salad and colorful candies I'm not familiar with. The intoxicatingly delicious aroma permeates the humble kitchen. My mouth drips with overwhelmed juices.

_Wow!_ I keep telling myself.

I've always loved Mexican food. How could I not with all the spices and amazing flavors that make it up? My parents also love it even though they try to play it down like they do with our Mexican heritage. They always emphasize my great grandmother's European birthright and keep quiet about our roots stemming from Mexico.

High society.

It makes harsh judgments about who belongs and who doesn't. It slices into _class_ differences as if it was a cake. My parents buy into it. So had I for a long, clueless time until I felt the brunt of not belonging in those circles when I got married.

The Sanchezes make Alejo and I sit down while they flutter about making sure we have everything we need. I drink a melon beverage while Alejo prefers a Coke. He's driving back to San Antonio and needs the caffeine. Mr. Sanchez offers him the couch to stay for the night, but Alejo says he needs to get back to his family ASAP. The Sanchezes tell him they know the importance of family.

"You're part of our family now, Araceli," declares Mrs. Sanchez, her voice as warm as a summer day. "You can be sure of it."

I don't think anyone in my life has ever gone to such lengths to make me feel welcome. My eyes water again. I order the tears not to flow.

Later, Alejo announces he really must leave. Deep inside, I freak out but force myself not to show it. As much as I like the Sanchezes at this point, they're still strangers. Alejo is my lifeline and he's leaving! Still, I force myself to be strong because Alejo has a family to get back to. I thank him profusely and bite my lower lip as he leaves.

I tell the Sanchezes I need to settle into my bedroom. Mrs. Sanchez asks me if I need any help. I shake my head.

Alone in my new room, sobs burst out. I hush them as much as I can, so the Sanchezes won't hear the pain I'm in.

But inside of me, I'm a total tsunami.

With tears and emotions crashing everywhere.

Justin:

It's very late at night. Luckily, no one is anywhere in sight and the darkness covers me. The only street light for the block is way down the lane. How lucky am I?

I eye the house to make sure no lights turn on or that no one looks out any windows. It hadn't taken me long to find the house—not with Ratchet's very accurate directions. The guy is awesome at his job!

I'm just so lucky to have been able to hire him. An hour after my stomach turning conversation with my father, he had deposited the money I needed into my bank account. He loved it that I owed him, that I'd had to come to him practically on my hands and knees. The power intoxicated him! Luckily, with all my groveling he hadn't asked me what it was for. Normally he would've grilled me—demanding to know where every single penny would go. And I really didn't want to tell him that my wife had left me. It would've made his day that I had failed at marriage unlike him. Even though his wife, my mother, is miserable with him, he'd never admit to how unhappy their marriage is.

Unfortunately, due to a bad fall when she'd had an especially bad argument with my father about his drinking, my mother hadn't been able to have any more children except for me. My father would sneer that she had only been able to give him one son—a worthless one at that.

He just loved it when I screwed up or when life bit down on me.

This would prove how pathetic I had turned out, according to him. How unlike him I was. How undeserving of bearing the Swaggart name.

"I wish I could tear the family name right out of you!" he'd burst when he was particularly drunk. "You're no good! Valueless! I wish you had never been born!"

"Yeah, Dad, I wish I had never been born too. I wish I wasn't your son!" I'd shout back.

"Why couldn't God have given me another son?!—one that deserved the Swaggart name?!"

Whenever I'd mess up, no matter how small, he'd use it to yell at my mom that he had to keep drinking in order to assuage his deep miseries. What an excuse, huh?

Pushing thoughts of my jerk dad away, I try to focus on what's on hand. The house I'm spying on is still in the dark. The street is still lonely.

I take a swig of my bottled beer—luckily I have friends who buy them for me. At seventeen I can't buy alcohol, but with my adult pals, that's not a problem. The tart taste of the liquor eases me. It soothes any traces of misgivings about what I'm about to do.

I think about Ratchet and his strength. He inspires me much more than my father ever did.

I really like the guy. And he doesn't ask any silly questions as to why I need certain information. He had accidentally let it out that he had been dishonorably discharged from the Army. When he questioned what I thought about that, I slapped him on the back and congratulated him. His total toughness and ruthlessness is a huge plus in my book. He's a real life superhero!

Wow!

I wish that I could shove it in my father's face that I had encountered a _real_ man—not a fake tough guy that my father for sure is.

One day I'd have to introduce Ratchet to my dad. It would be an interesting meeting I'm sure. One that I would completely enjoy. You see, my father is totally threatened by hard-hitting men. I guess he senses he's not in their league.

He really wants to be.

But he's not—not even close.

I stare at the house, pausing a little before my next move. I squeeze the very sharp ice pick in my hand.

It's time for a reckoning.

Chapter 9

Lucette/Araceli:

Sleep is very hard to come by. Too much has happened today. The burning, countless tears have stopped. I've already cried myself out. I really hope the Sanchezes didn't hear my sobs. They've been so nice. I'd hate for them to think me ungrateful for their generosity in giving me a home.

_But_ at the same time I tell myself that they must understand what's happened to me. I'm sure they've been at least somewhat informed of my predicament.

Why else would they volunteer their home to a perfect stranger?

I violently toss and turn. I try not to think about _him_. He's so different from what everybody thinks. What people don't understand about charming Justin is that his mood can turn on a dime. Yes, that fast.

A fury ignites inside of him that no one can control—least of all him.

It's scary. _Very_ scary.

Justin:

STAB, STAB, STAB!

The ultra-sharp ice pick feels good in my hand. Finally getting to use it, I feel exhilarated!

STAB, STAB, STAB!

I'm getting my frustrations out. I take time out to guzzle another beer even though I'd gotten an adrenaline-charged rhythm to the stabbing, _but_ I really need a drink. I'm on my seventh bottle!

Woo hoo!

My father can never drink as much as I can without totally losing it and peeing all over himself! I'm the champion!

I empty the bottle in only a few seconds. Holy Moly! I feel invincible!

Slab, stab, stab!

My father, the big jerk, can't hold a candle to me!

STAB!

I finish violently poking the fish I had bought at the grocery store. Unfortunately, I have to get on with what I'm about to do. Sneaking to the house as stealthily as I can, I leave the bloody fish in front of Ramadi's front door.

Hee, hee.

Let's see what he makes of so many hideously impaled fish on his doorstep. Stupid! Idiot! Jerk!

I'll teach Ramaldi to kick me to the curb as if I'm trash!

Chapter 10

Lucette/Araceli:

I'll be going to school soon, but the Sanchezes want me to acclimate to my new surroundings first. I'm relieved that I have a bit more time to keep changing my appearance. I had already gone back to my natural dark brown hair. During the time Alejo and I had been holed up in San Antonio because of the rain, I had dyed it myself. It had been a weird experience since I had had it professionally colored strawberry blond in salons for many years. No one except my parents knew my real hair color.

Not even Justin.

I would tell him I was going to the salon for highlights. He'd believe me not realizing I actually went through a whole process to get my hair the right color of blonde. It was the only thing my parents still paid for—salon visits and only because I had begged them. There was no way Justin and I could've afforded them.

We barely made ends meet especially with all the money he spent on booze. Grrr! How could an underage boy get so much liquor? His stupid friends, of course! They didn't care that they were helping turn him into an alcoholic!

Thinking about that makes my blood boil, so I switch my thoughts over to the tasks on hand—making sure I totally obliterate my old image, so I won't be recognized. Since the pregnancy, I had already started gaining some weight. Under those circumstances, the body changes no matter what. I quickly shut out the memories of the day of the miscarriage. Much, much too painful.

Instead, I order myself to focus on my transformation. No more live Barbie doll image for me! That's for sure!

I had dieted for as long as I could remember, starving myself to be a size two. I had even resorted to eating cotton balls when I was hungry just to have something in my stomach to quench the growling but not make me fat. Gross, huh?

That stuff is over! No more starving!

Even when I got pregnant I'd watch what I ate. Awful, isn't it? That's how bad my obsession to stay skinny was, but my body got bigger anyway.

Now, I would eat to my heart's content. My life might depend on it. I have to change my outside. Good thing that the meals in this house are so finger licking awesome!

I had already anticipated weight gain and had been buying an assortment of different sized clothes at yard sales. I'd hide them from Justin, so when I finally escaped from him, I had some clothes he had never seen along with the few pieces of stretchy clothing I had owned.

All he had ever seen me with was designer apparel.

Wouldn't he be surprised to see me with used clothes?

Justin:

I'm getting _real_ antsy. Painfully anxious. Overwhelmingly despairing. Time is passing and so far nothing _. NOTHING!!!_ Ratchet tells me to be patient. Well, actually demands it. And you don't argue with the guy if you know what I mean.

I can't afford another detective walking out on me!

The only bright spot in my mood is the thing with Ramaldi. He strongly suspects that I was the one who left him the stabbed fish, but he has no proof. None at all. No neighbors saw anything. No fingerprints since I had worn gloves. Good thing Ratchet warned me. He said, "If you're going to do something stupid, kid, then make sure to wear gloves for fingerprints."

I just love the twisted guy! Thanks to him I had gotten away with the stabbed fish incident.

Hee, hee.

It's so funny the way Ramaldi called me and blew up, but I played my cards right. I played all innocent like a champ.

I deserve an academy award! Of course, the idiot didn't believe me, but what do I care? He can't press charges on me without any proof.

Idiot! Jerk! Incompetent piece of crap!

When I think about the huge mistake he had made with Lucette's cousin! He really made me look bad with my in-laws! They haven't called me since. Before that happened, they'd often call me to see if I'd heard from my wife. They even sympathized with me!

"Why would Lucette leave you and cause all of us so much worry?" they'd say.

Now I'm certain that even if they hear from her they won't tell me. Ratchet feels the same, so he's taken to checking up on the airlines to make sure Lucette isn't joining her parents in Europe, and he's also been staking out their home. He tells me he's an expert at surveillance. I have to believe him since he's proven his sharp eye by not confusing Lucette's cousin with Lucette. Lynette is still housesitting at the Nuñez mansion. Not surprising! She's always been a kiss up with Lucette's parents. She's always been horribly jealous of my wife.

Lynette's parents don't have anywhere near the money that Lucette's mom and dad have. Lynette's mother is sister to Lucette's mom and it's the Nuñez side that has all the outrageous wealth.

Lynette I'm sure is playing the concerned cousin but in reality is just trying to become a second daughter to the Nuñezes. That's what she's always tried to do!!!

I dislike her as much as Lucette does, but I have to admire her sneakiness and persistence in getting what she wants. Lucette's parents adore her and look out for her—totally unaware that they're being played. Hee, hee. They buy Lynette expensive crap, and let her go to all the frou frou social events with them. Lynette's mother has always encouraged her daughter to stick close to the Nuñezes, so that their uppity status might rub off.

In fact, Lynette got her name because it sounded like it made a good match with Lucette. Even her name is counterfeit! I guess the girl was doomed to trail Lucette, who was born a few weeks before Lynette, from the very beginning.

I kinda feel sorry for her—being just a copy of the original. Lynette is a mere and pale imitation of Lucette. She copies everything she can of Lucette: same hair color and style, same kind of designer clothes, same ultra-skinny body type, same everything she can get away with.

"Take it as a compliment," I'd tell my wife when she complained about Lynette's obsessiveness towards all things Lucette. I'd chuckle about it. After all, there was only _one_ Lucette.

_And_ she belonged to _me._

Chapter 11

Lucette/Araceli:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm thrilled about the weight I've gained! This is the largest size I've ever been.

I don't look anything like I used to.

And I couldn't be happier!

I've even thrown away my green color contacts and am back to hazel eyes and glasses. Luckily, I had an extra pair that Justin never saw. Wearing glasses makes me feel like I'm looking at life through windows and that I'm not in the thick of things. I'm at a distance to whatever horrible event that can happen. Since I'm starting school soon, I'm very relieved that I can glide through the real world by watching it with remoteness.

At least that's what I keep telling myself. But late at night, when I'm snuggled into my twin bed, reality comes slapping me around. My mind is getting ready to rest and suddenly my past rears its monster head.

I go over horrible images that I'd been pushing deep inside of me in order not to become overwhelmed and lose my nerve to stay hidden.

The baby.

Justin had gotten so furious that tragic day. He thought I had been flirting with a neighbor when all I had been doing was asking for a cup of sugar.

A cup of sugar! Can you believe it!

A cup of sugar cost me my three month pregnancy and almost my life.

"Why were you talking to that guy?" he had roared.

"I wasn't," I nervously stumbled. "I—"

His face was getting that look I feared so much, the one that turned it beet red and his eyes into exploding firecrackers. "Don't freakin' lie to me!!!"

"I'm not. I—"

"Liar!"

"I was asking for a cup of—"

WOP!

He punched me right on the stomach. I was next to the stairs in our apartment—a small townhouse with two stories. It had happened so fast that by the time I tumbled to the bottom of the stairs I lost consciousness.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital. My parents were by my side with red eyes and splotchy faces. According to the doctors I almost died. Justin played the part well of a doting husband, telling everyone how I had accidentally fallen on the stairs but that thank goodness he had been there. He tearfully said he blamed himself for not being right next to me on the stairs to grab onto me when I had tripped. My parents, who had never liked him very much, put their hands on his shoulder in compassion. Sobs burst out of him when he talked about how close he came to losing me. A few moments later, when I miscarried, he even cried and pounded his chest and wailed.

I just stared at him.

Horror overpowering me.

Fear imprisoning me.

In private, when Justin was at work, I hinted to my parents about going to their house instead of my apartment after the doctor had discharged me.

"You can't leave poor Justin alone in this," roared my father. "He's suffering as much as you are."

My mom nodded. "You have to comfort one another through this terrible time."

It was in that instant that I knew without a single doubt that I was alone in my predicament.

Justin:

I still love my wife.

I know that's hard to believe. How can I still love her with all she's done to me?—lose our baby and run away. I have to think those two incidents are related.

Why else would she run away from someone who loves her so much?

It doesn't make sense. But what does make sense is that my love is unconditional. So, I can honestly say that my love for her hasn't reduced itself even one small iota.

No!

In fact, it's increased if anything. Now being without her I realize how much I need her. I miss her so much I want to burst!

I'm one hundred percent convinced that the miscarriage has made her crazy. She must feel all kinds of guilt at having provoked me that day with the neighbor.

Grrrrrr!

Just thinking about that day makes my blood boil to nuclear heat! She didn't see me behind a tree witnessing what was happening between her and Scott. Sometimes I did that— use my lunch hour to make sure she was okay. I'd eat a sandwich outside our apartment behind a tree and keep my eyes open for any funny business.

Taking care of my wife was on the top of my list!

There are so many crazy people in this world! I had to make sure my lovely Lucette was fine. When Scott moved in I knew I had to double my efforts to care for her.

He's a slick one that one with his nice suits, expensive haircut, and fancy job at the electric company. A young professional! He thought he could slick up my wife! He thought I'd stand idly by as he tried to take her from me!

No way!

I told Lucette to keep away from him, but she didn't listen! I was only looking after her!—she's so naïve that she doesn't see the bad intentions in people. Besides, I think she liked getting this dude's attention like she did in high school when all the guys would stop what they were doing to stare at her.

Her disobeying me infuriated me! All she had to do was stay away from Scott! That's not a lot to ask of your wife—that she stay away from a slick, fancy jerk! Before I knew it I was in her face. She made me so furious trying to excuse herself that I walloped her, and then she lost her balance and fell on the stairs.

Why did she make me do it?

I've asked myself that question millions of times. Why does she piss me off when she knows how passionate I am?

Why does she make me hurt her?

I just hope I can control my temper when I see her again.

Chapter 12

Lucette/Araceli:

My life is so strange now. Yeah, strange as in odd and not weird. Odd because it's so different from what I've ever experienced before. Of course, the Sanchez home isn't the least bit weird. Even though it lacks high-end decor, it's no less warm and welcoming. In fact, it's probably because of its unpretentiousness that it takes me in with wide open arms like my parents' mansion never did. Frankly, the manor had always felt more like the museum than a home to me. Ever since I was a child I was prohibited from touching or being near certain expensive art. I'm free to roam the Sanchez home as much as I want. Yesterday, I accidentally tipped over a flower vase and it shattered. I was horrified, but Mrs. Sanchez laughed it off.

"It's time for a new base," she declared matter-of-factly.

I adore her for trying so hard to make me feel comfortable in her home, but I have too many overwhelming emotions dancing inside of me, not knowing what to do or what they're supposed to be. In just a few months my life has turned upside down several times!

First, I'm lucky Lucette, _then_ I meet Justin, _then_ I get pregnant, _then_ I get married, _then_ Justin starts beating me, _then_ I have a miscarriage, and _then_ I finally I escape!

_And_ here I am having to depend on the kindness of strangers. It's bizarre to realize that less than half a year ago I would've looked down my snob nose on the Sanchezes because of their lack of wealth. What a silly girl! After having lived my own personal hell in the apartment with Justin, I'm in some kind of heaven now. And it doesn't matter at all that my surroundings are not up to my parents uppity standards.

Why should something like that matter when after what I've been through? Now I know what to value, and it's _not_ expensive stuff. I _value_ freedom, free will, warmth, caring, and authentic love.

Yet, I can't seem to shake off the feeling that with Justin out there, I'll _never_ be able to fully plunge into what I now value. I'll never be free! I'll always be scared! Justin has tainted me forever.

One day, Mrs. Sanchez asks to speak to me. Her face is solemn and concerned. I've tried to be as sociable as possible, but I still find myself spending most of my time in my room under the bed, hoping that if Justin is looking for me he won't be able to find me.

"Araceli," Mrs. Sanchez says with her friendly eyes intently on me, "I hope you know how happy Mauricio and I are to have you with us."

"Thank you," I murmur.

"I want you to know that you can talk to me about _anything_."

"Thank you," I repeat.

"Mauricio and I know your situation."

"You do?!" I blurt with surprise. Alejo never told me how much the Sanchezes knew. I assumed they knew some of my situation but not all of it. I just supposed I should keep my mouth shut.

"I know that your real name is Lucette, but it's important to just call you Araceli because we can't afford to make a disastrous mistake."

I nod. It seems they know more than I thought they did. "A mistake like that could be deadly."

She gasps. "God forbid."

"I can't thank you and Mr. Sanchez enough for risking your lives by taking me in," I proclaim, tears rolling down my eyes.

Mrs. Sanchez hugs me. "You're such a brave girl. You've had such suffering happen to you. How can we say no to such a remarkable girl?"

"I'm _not_ remarkable," I burst. "I'm not brave either."

Mrs. Sanchez pulls me away from her to make me face her puzzled eyes. "Why do you say that? You were remarkable enough to realize you needed out of a very bad situation, and you were brave enough to escape it. Yes, you most certainly are remarkable and brave!"

"I'm just some clueless girl who brought all the bad stuff on to herself," I blurt.

Mrs. Sanchez vehemently shakes her head. "No one deserves to live like a slave under another human being."

"I'm the one who chose badly."

Mrs. Sanchez's eyes me as she places her hand on my shoulder. "Human beings make mistakes. It's all part of life. What's important is that you realized it and here you are with people who will nurture you."

I really adore this woman—this mother figure. For her sake and my own I try harder to leave my room and go to places with the Sanchezes like to the movies and the grocery store. I try to look happy, but deep inside I'm still hurting and trying to get used to my new life.

The saintly Sanchezes decide to throw me a going-back-to-school fiesta, so I can feel more comfortable with their extended family. I would be attending high school with some of their family members, and the Sanchezes want to make certain I don't feel so alone in a new school. They had not overwhelmed me with their clan yet and had given me much needed space.

Since first coming here I have learned a lot about my guardian angels which is what I've taken to calling the Sanchezes in my head. You'd also think of them as angels if you knew what I know. When the Sanchezes had found out they couldn't have children, they decided to dedicate themselves to helping kids from rough homes. They became foster parents! Several kids had been cared for by them and had already had to move on because of age or because they were back with their biological parents. As the Sanchezes were looking for another child to foster, they were told about me. They didn't hesitate to take me on even when they knew the terrible risks involved.

The violence Justin had pounded into me could also touch and devastate them if Justin managed to find out where I was!

My stomach hurts just thinking about the possibility of that happening!

I try not to think about Justin and concentrate on my going-back-to-school party. The new splash of vibrant color all over the house makes it easier to be in be moment. The Sanchezes have hung miniature piñatas of burros and pointy stars throughout the home. Vivid Mexican music loudly resonates from the stereo.

I smile with all the positive and grateful energy I can squeeze out of me. No one has ever thrown me a party like this. My parents' get-togethers would be absolutely taciturn compared to this. My parents would think this is gaudy, uncouth, and completely lacking in class and good taste. _But forget what they would think!_ I tell myself. I've left that silly society girl far behind. I know that my parents would look down their aristocratic noses at the party the Sanchezes put together for me, but they'd be wrong. The Sanchezes are earthly angels! Their intentions are unselfish and loving. No one can convince me differently!

I sigh happily. The Sanchez home is full of cheerful kin. Luckily, everyone thinks I'm a foster child. Because the Sanchezes had fostered kids many times, their relatives already know the drill of not asking me too many personal questions since foster children usually come from broken homes—having had experiences that they often don't want to talk about. The relatives just open their arms wide to me.

I'm completely accepted in the warmth of Mr. and Mrs. Sanchez's clan of colorful kindred. Amongst the relations are Danila, Anelina, and Emily—three of the neatest girls you'll find anywhere. I'll be going to the same school they do. They take me into their warm circle of giggles. Danila and Anelina are sisters and Emily is a real blood cousin. They tell me I'm an adopted cousin. I wish I could let myself be carried in their current of friendship, but I just don't trust anybody or anything anymore. Wish I could.

Still, I love being embraced into the Sanchez family.

The only blood cousin I had ever somewhat been close to was Lynette, and I couldn't stand her! I know it's awful to despise your own blood, but I can't help it. Believe me, Lynette earned my repulsion. Earned it!

She imitated everything about me, tried to steal my boyfriends, and even tried to rob my parents' love from me. Ever since we were children, she'd snitch on me to make herself look good.

"Aunt Chelsea, I tried to tell Lucette not to do it," she'd tell my mother with wide open, innocent looking eyes. "But she did it anyway."

Lynette was the one goading me into getting into trouble. She'd call me a chicken if I didn't do it, and I fell for it until I caught onto her manipulations. Because I wouldn't get caught up in her game anymore, she would stay close to my parents—completely kissing up to them. It still makes me furious to think how she worked them. They would ask me why I couldn't be more like Lynette!

It would drive me crazy!

Bad cousin! Why couldn't we get along like Danila, Anelina, and Emily did? I sighed. It would've been nice to have had a good relationship with Lynette.

At the moment, Emily starts talking about boys. I smile awkwardly. It's a subject I don't want to slide into. Guys are the last thing on my mind. After what happened to me with Justin, I'm convinced I'm much better off alone.

Even when I was with Justin I'd been avoiding boys even for just friendship. With his jealousy streak, I couldn't even look at another guy. I had tried to tell Justin that our next door neighbor was gay but he smacked me before I could get the words out. I had seen Scott kiss another guy good-bye one morning after obviously spending the night with him. I thought it would be safe to ask for a cup of sugar to make Justin's favorite pineapple upside down cake. I had forgotten to get sugar from the grocery store the day before, and I didn't have a car. Remember, my parents had taken it away from me.

I was scared to death of having to tell Justin that I hadn't been able to make his favorite cake. Things like that really upset him and his fists. I tried some other neighbors first, but lucky Lucette wasn't so lucky. No one but Scott was home.

I shiver just thinking about that day. Concentrating back to the Dynamic Trio, that's what I call my new _cousins_ , I realize they've moved on from boys to our senior school year. Thank goodness!

"Hi, I'm Alfredo. You are . . .?" Someone interrupts my thoughts, slicing into them. I turn to look at a nerdy boy I had never seen before.

Danila giggles. "This is our _new_ cousin Araceli," informs Danila. "What are you doing here, Alfredo? This is family only."

"I'm part of the family," he asserts proudly.

"I invited him," announces Emily.

"You did?" questions Anelina.

"He's our friend," states Emily. "And everyone in the family just loves him."

"Yeah, everyone just looves me," Alfredo asserts.

"You're such a nerd Alfredo," Anelina bursts, chuckling. "Coming to a family party that isn't your own."

"Yeah, Alfredo, nice bow tie," proclaims Emily.

"Thank you," he shoots back. "It's new."

"So you came today to say hi to us," declared Danila.

Alfredo shakes his head. "I saw you girls outside earlier and decided to come to meet _her_." He nods towards me.

I want to freak!

No boyfriends for me!

At least not until I can get my head straight! My heart isn't up for grabs.

It won't be a target anymore!

Justin:

OMG!!!

Lucette and I aren't married after all!!!

Crap! Crap! Crap!

It's true. I'm officially single and totally distressed with the news. The piece of paper is telling me the impossible truth, that there was some sort of a mess up with our marriage certificate and so Lucette and I aren't officially married. The judge personally wrote that he regretted the mistake and would be happy to officiate another wedding at no cost to us.

I'm devastated.

And what makes it worse is that Lucette knew about it right after the miscarriage and kept it to herself. I found the letter in her things. Ratchet told me to take her stuff apart to see if there was a clue about where she went. I found the official letter discreetly tucked away in her undies drawer. For some kind of reason she had left most of them behind.

Then something occurred to me—like a lightning strike to the head. _That's why she left me. Losing the baby and then finding out she wasn't married to me, she must've panicked. Freaked out. Was overwhelmed with everything._

I have to find her and tell her nothing can keep us apart. No piece of paper or horrible loss can come between us. We belong together for always.

Forever.

Chapter 13

Lucette/Araceli:

My first day of school.

Scary.

The Sanchezes tell me not to be frightened. That I'll have a good time. You don't know how grateful I am that I won't be facing it alone. Thank goodness for the Dynamic Trio!

I step into the somewhat run down school with Danila, Anelina, and Emily. They chatter. I stay quiet.

Surprisingly and fortunately I have most of my classes with one or more of the girls. They introduce me as their cousin. I'm grateful they've taken such a shine to me. I've really grown to appreciate them even if I still am having plenty of trust issues. The past just won't let go of me.

Unfortunately, that annoying boy Alfredo is also in two of my classes _and_ he insists on talking to me even though I grimace at him.

The silly boy just can't take a hint!

Eeeek!

The other weird thing happening to me is that I've met up with my evil twin. Chiffon Everett. It's like looking into a mirror. She's exactly who I used to be. Dyed blonde. Ultra thin. Designer clothes. Fast car. Rich. The only reason she's not in a wealthier district is because her parents are trying to teach her some kind of a lesson. HA!—it's not working. She's got it made at Frida High School.

Chiffon is the most popular girl on campus.

Yeah, it's really eerie. I watch her from afar as her starry eyed cronies pay tribute to her. She eyes them with a smirk—as if lavishing her with worship is the way things should be.

I just can't believe I used to be her. Suddenly, my previous high school experience doesn't seem so awesome. Suddenly, my perspective has really changed. Now that I'm outside of myself, now that I'm an onlooker instead of in the middle of adoration, I don't see how being Chiffon or lucky Lucette is so great. It's all a lie.

Yeah, a lie about who should be admired, what being a _great_ human being really is, the worship of _things_ like designer labels and such, and what life really is about.

Life—the place to find those who really care about you.

Justin:

I call the judge who married me and Lucette to try to clear up this misunderstanding of the invalid marriage.

"No misunderstanding," he says. "I'm afraid you'll have to have another ceremony."

"But my wife is in the hospital!" I burst, lying and trying to grasp at straws. "Can't you just validate our marriage without another ceremony? That's the least you can do!" I snap.

The judge sighs heavily through the phone. "I'm very sorry, young man, about what happened. I truly regret it, but the only way to validate your marriage is to have another wedding. I'll be happy to go to the hospital and marry you and your girlfriend there. How about it?"

I slam down the phone!

Fury burns every cell inside of me! Ratchet gets me the judge's address, and I go there with my trusty ice pick and a full grocery bag in the middle of the night.

I keep thinking about one word as my hand shoots up and comes crashing down on the dead fish— _girlfriend!_

_Girlfriend!_ Not wife! Lucette was back to being my girlfriend and I just couldn't take it! My fingers hold the ice pick tightly.

Stab, stab, stab!

_GIRLFRIEND_ —it's all the judge's fault!

STAB, STAB, STAB!

GIRLFRIEND!—GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Chapter 14

Lucette/Araceli:

The nightmares just won't go away.

I sob uncontrollably. It's late at night, and I've just forced myself to awaken from a horrible dream. I'm soaked with perspiration. My heart thunderously thumps in my ears. Tears shoot out of my eyes like bullets.

I sit up and listen for footsteps. Even though relieved I hadn't woken up the household, I still scamper under the bed. It makes me feel better. I'm very glad that this time I hadn't awoken the Sanchezes with involuntary screams during my nightmares. The times I had woken them up they stayed in my room, calming me down until I fell asleep. They'd been so patient and loving with me.

"You're safe with us," they repeated over and over again until safety eased me into drowsiness.

This time, I'd have to find my security zone on my own. But the thing is that the nightmare, the recurring one where Justin keeps telling me he loves me while his tight fist plunges into me, is making me relive what I wish so badly I could forget. My mind is fully set on memory mode. Maybe it's good not to forget what I went through with Justin. You know what they say about knowing your history—something about being doomed to repeat it otherwise.

I definitely don't ever want to repeat what I had with Justin!

By some miracle I'm not married to the monster! The legality of the marriage didn't take. Lucky! A remnant of lucky Lucette.

The miraculous letter from the judge who had performed my marriage ceremony is what changed everything for me! It's one of the things that gave me the guts to get away from him. Just knowing I wasn't his wife opened something inside of me I didn't know I had—bravery. But of course I had it and other powerful traits all along. Justin had tried to take so much from me. Stomp on my self-esteem. I look back to see where everything had gone wrong.

More of Lucette's back story:

When bad boy Justin suddenly appeared in my life, I had read all those bosom heaving romance books and swooned with the movies. I had seen all those videos with my favorite singers pushing fairytale romance at me as they sang to magic lovers. I took it all in!

Clueless, silly girl.

I believed them. Hook, line, and sinker. I believed that true love consumes you so much that it's supposed to take everything from you, that you should sacrifice _everything_ for it—even your well-being and self-worth. Love is supposed to be total, right? That's what I believed.

So when things with Justin started turning shaky, I excused him because love should be all forgiving. Besides, I truly believed that he acted out of love. But I can tell you now that I should've been paying closer attention. I had foolishly ignored many warning bells. Many!

Justin and I were stuck like gum—together as much as we could. We lived in a romantic bubble. We lived for each other and mostly ignored those around us. However, there were other moments, times I had to talk to other people. This became a problem.

"Don't talk to any other guys!" he'd screech at me. "You belong to me!"

When he would sprout snakes of jealousy for me just because I talked to another guy, I took it as a sign of love. I really thought that when he yelled all kinds of obscenities at me, it meant how much he cared for me.

_HHHHHH_ _He has so much passion for me_ , I would tell myself, excusing his verbal abuse even when he graduated from yells to physical cruelty by jerking my arm so much I'd have to wear long sleeves so no one would be able to see the bruises.

Why his said ownership of me didn't bother my independent streak, I don't know. I guess WWe lovhhh

I just believed that love was about owning one another, that it meant melting into each other forever. You know, silly crap like that. Silly, silly crap that sounds so true and romantic. I know you may want to argue with me on this point since movies, magazines, and books have reached into our minds and imprinted a love-is-everything, forever, and always intoxicating mentality.

But now I'm convinced that those ideas are crap.

Sorry. You can disagree all you want, I still feel the same. Yeah, I'm disillusioned with love. I admit it. But again I ask you to listen to the rest of my story before you judge me too harshly.

At the time, I really believed that Justin's obsession for me was actually complete and eternal love.

Obsession. Yes, I used the right word because he'd follow me around everywhere, even skipping some classes to spy on me. He'd hide in places and watch me. _He must_ _love me_ _sooooo much!_ I'd say to myself, actually swooning.

Then the pregnancy—an unexpected fruit of our love, he told me and I foolishly believed him. And _then_ the wedding. Marrying him was like sealing us forever, so I thought.

_But_ in the middle of all the swooning, intoxicated love, and deep sighing reality set in. Funny how that love you think is so everlasting and impenetrable starts fading away when truth comes in the door.

Let me tell you about truth. The rough manhandling of me because of Justin's fiery jealous streak suddenly became explosively physical. I shake horribly when I remember the first time he hit me.

It was only a week after we got married. Just a week!

Justin and I had gone to the movies. He was unusually quiet until we got home. He demanded to know why I had flirted with the popcorn counter guy.

"Justin, be serious," I had snapped.

SLAP!

He backhanded me so hard that I fell backwards, stunned. Fortunately, the wall caught me or I would've tumbled to the ground.

"Don't you ever speak to me like that!" he menaced.

"But you've got to understand that I was flirting with—"

WALLOP!

OUCH!!!

He had pummeled his closed fist in my stomach. I doubled over in pain.

"The baby—" I started to mutter.

He grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulled my head up, so I would be face to face with him. By this time I was in so much pain from his abuse that I couldn't utter a single word.

"You're trying to justify what you did, and it doesn't sit well with me—understand?" he snarled.

I squeaked out a yes. Anything to get him to stop hurting me. When he let go of me I went straight to the bathroom and sobbed. I just couldn't believe what had just happened, but at that point I wasn't yet ready to face the truth.

I justified him.

I told myself that he got physical because of his tremendous love for me. _I need to stop talking to guys_ , I told myself.

I convinced myself that Justin lashed out because he was stressed from working so hard to support his new family. The next day he brought me a rose. Even though it wasn't my favorite flower, I took it as an awesome peace offering. _It'll never happen again,_ I asserted within myself but of course it did. He would wallop me for any little thing he'd consider unacceptable.

The kitchen table isn't clean enough!

PUNCH.

"Why are you wearing that sexy dress?"

SLAP.

"Why are you embarrassing me with my friends by dressing all frumpy?"

KICK.

So life with Justin became about punches, slaps, kicks and plummeting self-esteem. Both verbal and physical abuse flourished. Black eyes, deep purple bruises, and many bumps. Sprained body parts became a normal state for me. Normal! How can something like that be normal?

_Is that really love?_ I started questioning. _Does it have to be so painful? At this rate I'll never make it to even my twenties!_

Truth—love can't possibly be what I thought it was!

And there were other things that hadn't bothered me in the past when we were just dating but were now really getting to me. Your guy spying on you gets old real fast. Your supposed husband demanding to know everything about you like your email password and how you're going to occupy every minute of the day is frustrating! Your supposed _soul-mate_ questioning you about every single cent you spend is beyond exasperating.

Eeeeeeeek!!!

I wanted to yell out with all the force I had inside of me that I was suffocating!—drowning without air. I was bleeding bucketfuls from the inside!—feeling my life rush out of me. And I was in anguished agony—the beatings I frequently got bruising me all over.

It was like I didn't belong to myself, like I was Justin's slave. I had once thought that that's what I wanted—to be so consumed by love that I now belonged to someone else! Clueless, silly girl!

EEEEEEEK!!!

You just can't imagine how much I dreaded Justin coming home from work. I'd never know the mood he'd be in. I sighed a huge breath when he came home happy. But most often than not he'd be in a horrible mood with what his boss or a coworker had done to him.

Then even if I greeted him, I'd get a punch to the gut because according to him I hadn't greeted him with enough enthusiasm. He'd go through the apartment checking to make certain I had put everything in the place he wanted it. Then dinner.

Oh dinner!!!

My stomach knotted itself just thinking about it. He'd tell me the day before what he'd want for dinner. It was never what I wanted but what he demanded I make. Since I'd had servants all of my life I didn't know how to cook, so I had to get recipes from the internet. After a few beatings I learned my lesson and got the recipes approved by him.

You would think Justin would be okay with what I made him, right? I mean, he's the one who chose the meal and the recipe, right?

Well, the problem was that even when I followed exact measurements Justin would get it through his head that I had added too much of a certain spice even though I had followed the recipe to a tee and made the exact same meal two weeks before and he had loved it.

You just never knew with Justin. That tight fist could come at you at any time when you least expected it. I wanted to tell my parents so bad about what was happening to me, but they were still so furious with me. _And_ there was the other thing too. The most serious thing.

"If someone or something ever came between us," Justin would declare," I love you so much that I'd kill them! Then I'd kill both of us if I had to, Lucette—for us to be forever together!"

With every fiber of my being I knew he meant it.

Terrified. Confused. Petrified. I didn't know what to do. How to escape him. That is until circumstances led me to the battered women's shelter that gave me a second chance.

_Justin_ _:_

Ratchet is in the hospital!

GRRRRRR!!!

I'm so frustrated that I break the little table next to the door in my apartment by flinging it to the wall. What bad luck I'm having in trying to find my wife!

Yes, you heard right—my _wife_. I don't care what the stupid judge says. Lucette and I are still married—well, we're married in the heart where it counts.

Ratchet is in the hospital having surgery. It's nothing too serious. It's his prostrate. Still, this sets us back. He tells me not to worry, that he'll find Lucette.

"Like everything, it'll just take time, kid," he states from his hospital bed.

Since he had demanded it, I have already paid him a large portion of his fee. I decide not to ask for it back to go with another detective. Frankly, the guy scares me quite a bit. And there's also the thing about him knowing about the stabbed fish at those addresses he got for me. Can you imagine what the judge would do to me if he found out it was me who left those grotesquely bleeding fish on his doorstep?

Eeeeek!

Fury burns into me. Grrrrrrr!!!

I'd just have to bide my time.

There's no two ways about it.

Chapter 15

Lucette/Araceli:

School is a real eye opening experience. This isn't like the schools I've gone to in the wealthy districts. There's a big difference, especially with technology. The schools I had gone to always had the latest gadgets even though most of the student body already had them at home.

It's funny what you take for granted when you're rich as if stuff is yours for the taking. No gratitude. No wondering where it came from. No feelings of why am I getting all this stuff? You just expect the stuff given to you or around you to be the best of the best. Expect it. Don't work for it. Like I said before—it's yours for the taking. I guess that's what people mean about entitlement.

Danila, Anelina, and Emily had all worked the whole past summer to get electronic tablets. Back in my old life, I hadn't even had to ask for one. It had suddenly appeared in my room when a servant had been sent to the store to get it. I guess it was easy for me to think that I was entitled to it _just because_.

Makes a person like me think.

Well, anyway, school is continuing to be a very different experience for me, and I don't just mean the money thing. _I'm_ different. How can I not be with what's happened to me? I'm looking at school with really different eyes than I did before.

It's surreal!

It's like I'm now on a different planet. Yeah, I know it sounds bizarre. Being the snobby jerk that I used to be, I'd step into school as if I owned it. Now I want nothing more than to be ignored and to blend into the walls.

When I see Chiffon and her rabid followers, all so full of themselves, walking the halls like they own them, I want to roll my eyes. The more I see them the happier I am not to be them anymore. I want to ignore them but how can I with the ruckus they create everywhere to announce their presence. UGGG!—what popularity vampires. _Been there, done that,_ I say to myself. If they only knew what I now know—that no matter how high and mighty you might _think_ you are, you're not. You're as human and vulnerable as anyone else.

Life turns on a dime for _everybody._ _Everybody!_ Bad things happen to everyone, and no use thinking that your crap doesn't stink while everybody else's does.

You may not believe me when I tell you that I'm enjoying being anonymous, being the girl on no one's lips. But it's true. I used to think I was such hot stuff, such a _somebody,_ such a superior person.

Ugggg!!!

If I was such hot stuff where were my friends when I got pregnant and needed support? Where were they when I returned to school and students stayed away from me as if I stunk of skunk. Where were they when Justin beat the crap out of me and I had no one I could confide in?

What good was popularity without real friendship?

Because what I had before—when everyone in school knew my name—were fake friends. People who hung out with me so that my popularity rubbed off on them. So that meant I had a _fake_ life.

Well, that _fake_ life came face to face with the reality of Justin's fist! That's for sure.

Justin! Just thinking of him makes me nauseated with fear _and_ fury. No guy will ever do to me what he did to me! I'm determined!

So when Alfredo starts trying to get close to me, twisted rage claws at me. What makes him think I want his company? What makes him think anybody has a right to make me do what I don't want to do? I'm a slave to no one! Why can't he take a hint? I'm just going to have to be mean to him! There's no choice.

"Listen, dude," I snap at him when he sidles up to me in the hallway when getting to the class we both share, "stop buzzing around me. You're wasting your time with me."

Alfredo looks at me with hurt eyes. "Araceli, why can't we be friends?"

_Hmmm._ He pulled the friendship line. Low blow!

"Why do you want to be my friend?" I question suspiciously.

"I like being friends with smart people, Araceli," he declares matter-of-factly.

_Wow!_ No one had ever told me I was smart! In my other life, people would usually focus on my looks! Low blow! How could I not agree to be his friend when he called me smart?

Justin:

There's some hot chick on the internet saying how a girl should stay with a guy who hits her. I really like this chick. She really knows what she's talking about. She even broke up with a guy because he wouldn't beat her hard enough. This girl really understands the heart of someone like me. If I wasn't so in love with my lovely Lucette, I'd try to hook up with her. For sure I'd smack the internet chick hard enough so she knew how much I cared!

At this point I have to confess something. It's really hard for me to do it, but I have to admit to it. I'm a little ashamed to say that I would hit my wife sometimes. You see I was _forced_ to do things I didn't particularly want to do. The truth is that the only reason I had to smack my lovely Lucette was because I loved her so very much. Believe me, I wouldn't have had to whack her if she didn't incite me.

Why, oh why, would she provoke me?

Why would she make me hit her?

I'd feel really bad afterwards. I for sure didn't want to hurt my awesome wife. I would bring her chocolates and flowers afterwards just to show her that I was sorry the situation had exploded. I would tell her that I had so much passion for her that my feelings would burst when they were challenged.

The love I have for Lucette is so deep, so enormous, so consuming that the fire erupts if it's not taken care of. As soul-mates, it's both Lucette's and my job to take care of it. True love is like that.

True love.

Chapter 16

Lucette/Araceli:

Alfredo seems to sense that I need lots of space, so he gives it to me. He hasn't tried to kiss me or anything like that. Thankfully, or I'd have to slap him with all my might. He's actually lived up to the friendship deal. Also, it looks like he meant what he said about thinking I'm smart. He asks me what I think about assignments in Science class.

And he seems to care about what I respond!

No one had ever seemed to care or be interested in what was inside my brain!

And you know something?—for the first time in my life I'm really appreciating learning. I'm not bored in school anymore. Cracking the books open is a gateway to so much cool knowledge. For example, finding out that my environment is constantly changing because life is always transforming unlike death. There's no such thing as standing still. This gives me comfort that my life with Justin hadn't stood still in the horror, that I was evolving. You don't know how glad I am that I never went through with my suicidal thoughts. You don't know how grateful I am that I'm still alive and kicking.

I discuss the changing of everything on earth with Alfredo. It's a neat discussion. He thinks human beings only accept change when they come to terms with the fact that they're constantly transforming whether they want to or not. I think I agree. What do you think?

Speaking of change, I can feel my trust issues not being so set in stone anymore. The inclusive warmth of the Dynamic Trio is working wonders on me.

Even though I still don't chatter a lot with Danila, Anelina, and Emily, they still manage to make me feel included. Still, I keep my guard up, but sometimes I really want to tell them everything like at this moment when we're at lunch break talking about Chiffon.

"I hear she went to New York for the weekend just to buy a purse from a new designer," bursts Anelina, sighing with spikes of envy in her face. All four of us look towards Chiffon's lunch table where she's showing off her mauve purse to her adoring fans.

I shrug. "And?"

The three girls eye me with disbelief.

"Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to do something like that?" Emily questions.

I shrug again. "Whatever." My glib answer causes startled expressions at my table. "Sorry," I rush. "I didn't mean to be so rude."

"You really don't wonder what it'd be like to be rich?" questions Danila, her voice in disbelief. The other two girls stare intently at me.

This is where it gets sticky. There's no way I can tell them that I come from money without compromising myself. I hate to lie to them, but I don't see how I can avoid it.

"I had a foster family that was rich," I mumble, immediately touching my nose to make sure it isn't growing. "They were very generous with me."

"Wow!—really?" Emily blurts.

"What was it like?!" bursts Danila.

"Tell us about it," implores Anelina.

I sigh deeply. "I guess it's neat not to have to worry about money."

"But what is it like to be able to buy everything you want?!" Emily shoots back.

I frown. "Things are things."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Anelina questions.

"Things are _not_ just things," Danila blurts. "Just look at Chiffon with all her cool clothes and stuff."

I sigh again. "Do you have a purse?" I ask Danila.

"You know I do." She shoves her purse across the table to me.

"What does it do?" I ask.

All three girls eye me with baffled eyes as if they're wondering where my line of questioning is leading.

"It carries my stuff." Danila retorts as if I asked a stupid question.

I nod. "What does Chiffon's purse do?"

"What?" Danila bursts.

"It carries her stuff too, right?"

Danila nods. "Yeah, right."

"So why is her purse so much more superior to yours if it does the same being?" I question.

Emily rolls her eyes. "It's a designer purse!"

I shrugged. "And?"

"It's much more expensive," Danila declares.

"And?"

Emily sighs in frustration. "It's just a much better purse!"

"No, it's not," I state, shaking my head. "It's a thing to hold other things just like yours. It doesn't make the person who owns the designer crap superior—believe me, it doesn't. People are just brainwashed people into thinking it does—that's all."

The Dynamic Trio becomes very pensive. I wish I could tell them about how all the designer crap I owned couldn't protect me from Justin's beatings or make me feel better.

Yeah, I agree that money is definitely fun and necessary, but give me Mrs. Sanchez's warmth and understanding instead of new expensive _things_ any day.

Any day.

Justin:

Ratchet is sure taking his sweet time recovering! He's still lollygagging in the hospital.

But I have no choice but to wait for him. _I absolutely can't replace him with another detective,_ I keep telling myself. _Ratchet is dangerous! Don't ever get on his bad side._

I just have to learn to be patient. Patience has never been one of my virtues, but that doesn't mean I can't work on it. I just keep repeating to myself that Ratchet promised to get my lovely Lucette back to me.

She'll be back with me soon.

Chapter 17

Lucette/Araceli:

Something horrible has happened. I don't know what it actually is, but I know something really traumatic happened to Danila. The other two Dynamic Trio girls can't seem to get it out of her, but she hasn't cracked a smile or wanted to go out with us. Her eyes are usually red like she's been crying. At school, some of the students point their fingers at her and snicker.

_What's up with Danila?_ I keep asking myself.

My heart breaks for her. It reminds me of when I was living the nightmare with Justin and had to keep it tucked deep inside where it twisted me into knots while I was unable to express to anybody what was happening to me.

"Danila," I say to her, "please tell me what's wrong."

She eyes me with watery eyes. "I just can't."

"I won't tell anyone else, but you have to let it out. I know what I'm talking about."

"I'm too ashamed to talk about it!" she bursts.

"What?"

She groans deeply. "Let's just drop this conversation, okay?"

"But—"

"Stop, okay?!" she bursts. "Stop interrogating me!"

I sigh and nod. "Okay, Danila. Please don't get upset with me. Just know I'm here for you if you need me."

She looks at me with relief. "Thanks, friend."

I smile. "You're welcome, friend."

Justin:

I stare at the moon at night and wonder if my Lucette is looking at it too. Wouldn't it be awesome if we were gazing at it at the same time?—thinking about one another? By now she must miss me as much as I miss her. She must be coming to her senses and realizing that no one will ever love her as much as I love her.

She's probably scared.

Scared that I won't forgive her for having had a panic attack and lost her mind. There's no other reasonable explanation as to why she left me. She must've lost her mind! The miscarriage must've affected her more than I thought.

_She must be ashamed about having lost our baby,_ I say to myself as I keep gazing at the moon. I have to find her to tell her I forgive her. She needs to know that my love for her is so huge that nothing can destroy it.

"I forgive you, my lovely Lucette," I whisper at the moon. "Just come back to me."

Chapter 18

Lucette/Araceli:

It's all over the internet. It's gone viral. When I see it I more than freak out. Anelina and Emily had rushed over to the Sanchez home to show it to me on their electronic tablets.

My mouth is wide open as I stare at the screen. Anelina and Emily shake their heads. Luckily, the Sanchezes are out on an errand.

It's Danila—a very drunk Danila all over social media.

Now I know what's been bothering her. So does the whole world—her life is only one click away.

"Where's Danila?" I croak out.

"I texted her that we'd be here," Anelina informs. "She's meeting us here in a little while."

"Do you think she already knows she's all over the internet?" I ask, concerned.

"No, I don't think so," murmurs Anelina.

"We have to break it to her," declares Emily.

I nod. "Yeah. She's been in a bad way for a while. I guess getting drunk at a party really traumatized her. Hopefully, her having gone viral won't push her off some edge," I mutter, worried.

"We'll have to be there for her," bursts Anelina. "I'm not going to let anything happen to my sister!"

Emily and I nod in unison.

With a click of the mouse Anelina shuts the horrible scene off. "I can't stand to watch any more of this," she asserts.

Emily and I quietly nod in unison again. Watching an intoxicated Danila, slurring words as she sang _Let It Go_ and stumbling around at a party, is beyond horrible. Many people, some young teens but most seemed to be college students, snickered at her as they chugged their own alcoholic drinks. They roared with laughter making fun of Danila. Ridiculing her. Everyone at the bash was watching her. Guffaws, snorts, hoots. She was their private joke—now not so private.

I pray that this won't destroy her.

Justin:

"So when do you think you're getting outta here?" I ask Ratchet as he lies in the hospital bed. I told you that patience is very hard for me.

Ratchet glares at me. "Don't know, kid."

"You look okay to me."

"Not okay," he grumbles.

"You look great, really, dude."

"I feel like dog excrement!" he snaps.

"Maybe if you kept yourself busy," I murmur, "you wouldn't feel so crappy."

"What?!" he snaps.

"Keeping busy is cool. You probably won't need your painkillers anymore if you work on some of your cases like mine for example. Maybe you can investigate Lucette's disappearance right from your bed. You've got your cell phone, don't you? I can help you—just tell me what to do."

"Get outta here, pinhead!"

"Ratchet, you don't have to call me names," I burst, hurt.

"You're really pissing me off!" he snarls. "You'd better get outta here before I really explode!"

UH-OH!

I don't need to stick around for him to detonate. Noooooooo! I hastily high-tail it out of there! Fast. Swift. Like a flash of light.

Whoosh!—it's the only noise I make.

My heart is pounding, my palms are sweating, and my stomach is twisting. The fact that he called me a pinhead means that I pushed him a little too far.

But I couldn't help it.

With each passing day I'm getting more and more desperate to find my wife.

Chapter 19

Lucette/Araceli:

Danila openly sobs as she watches herself on the tablet screen. Anelina, Emily, and I stay quiet. We don't know what to say to our friend.

What do you say at destruction?

Emily clicks the mouse. "Enough of this," she proclaims.

Anelina sighs deeply. "Sis, why didn't you tell us?"

"We could've helped you," I murmur.

"Help me?!" Danila bursts. "How?"

"I don't know," murmurs Anelina. "I'm sure we would've figured something out."

"It helps to let it out with people who care about you," I assert.

"I didn't want the three of you to know how stupid I had acted!"

"But we're your family," explains Emily. I was so thrilled she was counting me as family. "You can count on us for _anything._ "

"Yeah," agreed Anelina, "anything—including with understanding about getting drunk at a party."

Danila sighs, "Including sympathy for making a giant fool of myself?"

" _Especially_ that!" I burst. "You can trust us with everything!"

"Besides, don't be so upset, sis," Anelina interjects. "I'm sure everybody in school will get over seeing you slur through _Let It Go_."

Emily nods. "Yeah, it'll soon blow over."

"You'll be yesterday's news in no time," I assert.

Danila sighs deeply. "The drunken singing is not the worst thing that happened to me that night," she mutters.

"What else happened?!" bursts Anelina.

Danila's eyes water. "Something pretty awful."

"Sis, explain to us what happened," implores Anelina.

Danila hangs her head down. "Well, let me start from the beginning when I got invited to a party," she murmurs. "A college bash."

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Anelina snaps.

Emily wiggles her index finger and shakes her head at Anelina.

"I wanted something just for myself!" blurts Danila.

Emily sighs. "It's okay, Dani. We understand. Just tell us what happened."

I nod my head. "Take all the time you need to tell us."

"I felt like such big stuff when Chiffon Everett personally invited me to a college party, but she told me not to bring anyone with me," Danila mutters, gulping.

"So that's why you couldn't tell us about it," Anelina murmurs.

Danila nods solemnly as she continues her story. "I should've suspected something!—Chiffon Everett inviting _me_ anywhere! But I was so excited that I ignored the warning signs in my stomach. When I got to the party, Chiffon and her clique were so nice to me for the first time ever. I thought I had hit the jackpot! Imagine, the most popular girl paying attention to _me_ —me a nobody."

"You're _not_ a nobody," I burst, my mouth tight. "And believe me when I tell you that Chiffon isn't really the somebody you think she is. She's just some clueless girl who's under the illusion that she's better than everyone else."

The Dynamic Trio eyes me with surprise at my passionate words. They just don't know how much I mean what I just said, how much I know exactly what I'm talking about. I wish for the umpteenth time that I could tell them about my past, that I had been Chiffon in another life. But I can't say a word. I have to keep quiet since my life depends on it.

"Wow," murmurs Danila, "You really feel strongly about that."

I nod. "You bet I do."

"So, Dani, keep going," Emily interjects.

"Yeah, sis, what happened next?"

Danila gulps loudly. "Chiffon and her Chiffon Jr. clique started drinking. They convinced me to join them."

"I bet they did," I blurt, fuming.

"They kept telling me to loosen up—to not be such a nerd," Danila continues, her voice shaky. "That did it! I didn't want my _new_ popular friends to think badly of me, so I started drinking beer. After that, my drink kept magically filling. Pretty soon, I was flying high."

"What happened next?" Emily murmurs gently.

"The rest I remember in bits and pieces, as if I was in a fog."

"Tells us about those bits and pieces, sis," Anelina utters.

"I remember that Chiffon suggested I sing a song, and I did it. When I realized people were laughing, I stopped. I ran to the restroom and threw up and then . . . and then . . ."

"What, sis?!" Anelina bursts, concerned.

"Alfredo had to rescue me!"

Justin:

There's nothing left for me to do but wait! Yeah, it sucks. That Ratchet better get well soon, or I don't know what I'll do!

Don't know!

Chapter 20

Lucette/Araceli:

"Alfredo?!" Emily and I burst in unison.

"What does he have to do with this?!" questions Anelina.

Danila takes a deep breath. "Luckily, _very_ luckily, he was there."

"Why was he there?" asks Emily.

Anelina groans furiously. "And why didn't he talk some sense into you about the drinking?!"

"He got there while I was in the bathroom. Actually neither one of us knew the other was at the party. It turns out that a girl there had called him to get her out of there. She had also been drinking too much—I wasn't he only one Chiffon and her hangers-on were goading to drink. This girl called the most reliable and nice guy she knew."

Emily nods. "Smart move calling Alfredo."

"Yeah, _really_ smart and it ended up saving me," Danila declares.

"How did Alfredo save you, sis?" questions Anelina. "You've got to tell us."

Danila nods and takes in a deep breath. "The group of us with Chiffon were in a bedroom of the house. The bathroom I was in was in the room, so I could hear outside of it. I could listen to what was going on with Chiffon. I guess she thought I was so drunk that I couldn't put together what she was saying. She started telling everyone to get me even more smashed because I was such a funny seventeen-year-old drunk. Some college guy who had joined us started saying that once I passed out he could take off my clothes, have sex with me, and take pictures to post on the internet. Wouldn't my fellow high school students find it hilarious? Everyone thought this was really funny! Meanwhile, I was freaking out wondering how to get myself out of this."

" _OMG_ , sis!" cries Anelina.

"Alfredo stepped into the bedroom for the girl who had called him but because the door had been open, he had heard everything. He was furious!—angrier than I had ever seen him! He asked them if they thought rape was funny. Everyone got quiet! It was as if someone pressed the mute button on the remote. But then Chiffon started snickering."

"Snickering?" questions Emily.

"Yeah, she started making fun of Alfredo."

I groan with repulsion. "What did she say?"

Danila's face twisted in disgust. "She asked why anyone would listen to such a nerd. Then she ordered him to leave the party."

"What did Alfredo do?" questions Emily. We were all wondering that question.

"He knocked on the bathroom door and asked if he could take me home. Chiffon had a fit, demanding that he mind his own business. He told her that taking obscene pictures of a minor was illegal and so was rape. Either he took me home or called the police. What did she choose?"

"What did she say?" questions Emily.

Danila chuckles, scoffing. "She didn't say anything—she just furiously stomped her foot."

Emily's eyebrows rose. "Stomped her foot?!"

"Yeah, it was so loud it even reverberated to the bathroom."

"Princess Chiffon acting like a spoiled baby," guffaws Anelina, "Funny!"

"When I stepped out of the bathroom you should've seen Alfredo's face," Danila says, chuckling.

"What do you mean?" asks Anelina.

"He freaked out to know the girl in the bathroom was me," explains Danila.

I gasped. "He didn't know it was you?"

Danila shook her head. "He hadn't known who was in the bathroom—just that whoever it was needed help."

"Wow, Alfredo!" I blurt. "What a guy!"

"Yeah, he's awesome!" Danila gushes. "He took the other girl and me home. Of course he scolded me for falling for Chiffon's hater tricks."

"You deserved that scolding!" snaps Anelina. "You almost got raped!"

"Yeah, I've been really freaked out about it," Danila murmurs.

"You should've told us about it, sis!" bursts Anelina with emotion.

"It was very hard for me to talk about," Danila explains, gulping, "Alfredo's so awesome, though. I asked him not to tell anybody and he didn't." Her eyes turn dream-like. "He's really something."

Justin:

COMPLICATIONS!

CRAP!

Ratchet has health complications and has to go back to surgery. I'm getting so sick of waiting for him. _So frustrated!_

I WISH THE SICKO, WEIRDO CROAKS SO I CAN HIRE ANOTHER DETECTIVE!!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Chapter 21

Lucette/Araceli:

The _whole_ story of the college party has completely freaked me out. Danila's horror experience has left me in shambles. It's taken me back to my own nightmares, and I can barely stand the anguish.

Rape.

Justin used to make me have sex with him whether I wanted to or not. It was rape! When a guy, even a boyfriend or a husband, takes you by force then that's what it is. There's no two ways about it.

I just can't believe that my friend was about to get raped—and others were going to let it happen without doing anything to help! I'm so disgusted.

Back when Justin used to verbally abuse me and pound me, sometimes so loud that the whole apartment seemed to shake, I'd wonder why none of the neighbors ever did anything. Why they never called the police. I'm sure they heard what was happening, but they _chose_ to do nothing. If they were scared of Justin, they could've left an anonymous tip to the police, couldn't they have?

The next morning, they'd turn their faces away from me when they'd see all of my bruises—so purple and visible on my face and body. Justin would make me walk out to his car with him in the mornings to give him a kiss goodbye. Believe me, I hated doing it but unless I wanted more abuse, I'd have to do what he wanted.

The feeling of no one to count on was the worst! People sitting on the sides while something really horrible is happening to someone practically in front of them just doesn't sit well with me at all. AT ALL!

There was only one time that someone actually stepped in to help me. It was in the parking lot of a grocery store. Justin's mood turned dark when he couldn't find a parking space. That's the way it was with him. He'd go from cold to hot in only a few surprising seconds. Anyway, he started yelling at me for having had to go to the bathroom just before we left the apartment.

"You stupid freakin' slut!" He always called me that when he was really upset. He'd reproach me that I had given myself to him like I had probably slept with so many others but he was wrong. He had been my first and only lover. "You cost us a parking space!" he continued his fit. "Why couldn't you have gone to pee earlier?—instead of right when we were about to leave for the supermarket! Stupid, stupid slut!"

It was useless to try to explain to him that my pregnancy was messing up the normal functions of my body. I'd be fine one second and the next absolutely having to go to the bathroom. I couldn't help it.

He wouldn't listen to my explanations. He wouldn't listen to my profuse apologies. All he'd do was rant and rave.

It was a really hot day, over one hundred degrees, and his car didn't have a working AC, so we had the windows rolled down. People stared at him going crazy on me as we went round and round in the parking lot.

Finally, we found a parking space next to an empty handicap one. Relief flooded me as if someone had lifted a whole car off of me. I was sure his verbal abuse was about to turn physical, even when he rarely whacked me outside our apartment. He didn't like people witnessing his violence. Once he had landed in jail when he had smacked his then girlfriend while they were at a concert.

"You're really lucky we found this space, lucky Lucette," he growled.

"I'm—"

SMACK! That's all it had taken for him to backhand me. I guess he felt he was safe from prying eyes in his car. My right hand went to the throbbing right side of my agonizing face. All I had wanted to do was say I'm sorry to him, and he had whacked me. This was how I learned to stay quiet. Speaking while he was furious, even to apologize, just made everything worse.

"Why do you make me do that?" he whined. I really wanted to tell him off, but opening my mouth meant getting socked again. I had it very clear. "I love you so much!" he continued. "Why do you try me like that?"

It was a rhetorical question. He didn't really want me to answer it. I knew that because once I had tried to answer it by telling him I wasn't trying to annoy him—just explaining my side. He had beaten me so hard that I could barely walk the next day. It had been a miracle that I hadn't lost the baby then.

Now, in front of the grocery store, I felt completely helpless. I rubbed the side of my burning face. He had hit me so hard that I was sure a nasty bruise was glaringly visible. You'd think that would make him consider his horrifying actions.

Wrong!

"Why, oh why, do you provoke me!" he snapped, continuing his tirade. "What's wrong with you?! I just can't be with you right now! You stay here and I'll get the groceries!"

I started to sob the second he stepped into the store. _What a total monster I married,_ I kept telling myself. This woman stopped in the handicap space next to mine and started speaking to me from her open window. "Are you okay?" she asked, kind concern dripping from her voice.

I stared back at her generous eyes, not being able to talk as more sobs overtook me. She leaned to the side as far as she could go and handed me tissues through the open windows from both cars. I gratefully took them and wiped my very wet face.

"I saw the whole thing!" she burst, continuing. "The pig left the side of your face like a train wreck. I've already called the police! Who is that guy?!"

"My husband," I warbled, hating having to admit my ties to the monster. I sure wish that I knew then what I know now—that Justin and I weren't really married.

Her eyebrows shot up. "Your husband?!—but you're only a baby! How can you be married?"

"I'm pregnant," I stumbled out, trying to catch my breath.

She nodded as if she understood my predicament. "What's your name?"

"Lucette," I murmured.

"Lucette, I'm Lorenza."

"Lorenza, you're a very nice lady calling the police and stopping to see if I'm okay."

Lorenza sighed deeply. "Listen, Lucette," she murmured with authority in her voice, "I know you better than you think. I used to be in your same situation. My husband almost beat me to death many times."

"What did you do?!" I rushed, coming alive. "Did you get away from him?"

"My parents and siblings convinced me to leave him, and they protected me from him. Then my brother gave him a beating I doubt he's ever forgotten. He's never bothered me since and even signed the divorce papers right away."

I nodded sadly. "Lucky you, Lorenza."

"Listen, Lucette, you have to get away from him. He'll end up killing you. I can see it in his eyes!"

I nodded again. How could I even begin to explain that I didn't have my parents' support and even if I did, he had already threatened to kill everyone I knew including the both of us?

"Who's this?!" Justin snapped, sneaking up to us. He stood in the middle of both cars. He must've seen us from the supermarket windows. He didn't have our groceries, so he must've left everything inside to see what was happening outside.

"I'm Lorenza," she growled at Justin, "and I came to see how this girl was after you slapped her!"

Justin's face contorted. "Lady, my argument with my wife is none of your business!"

I trembled in my seat—Justin was really pissed!

"Then don't scream at her in a busy parking lot and then beat her!" Lorenza declared, her voice fearless.

Justin eyed her with disbelief. "Lady—"

"You're a pig! You shouldn't treat your wife like that! And to make it even worse, your wife is pregnant and you abuse her like this? What's wrong with you?! Women should be treated with respect! You're just a big bully!"

My mouth dropped open. No one had ever spoken to Justin like that. I mean, his father verbally attacked him but never tried to correct his son's violent behavior.

The police got there at that point. Lorenza stepped out of her car and waived them over. While this was happening, Justin rushed into the car. Quickly turning on the ignition, he had to turn it off again when the police car parked behind us, blocking us from leaving.

"I'm the one who called you," Lorenza announced. "This pig was mistreating this girl all over the parking lot and then he hit her—just look at her face!"

"Hands on the steering wheel," the police officer told Justin when he had stepped over to Justin's car. "Are you okay, ma'am?" he questioned me.

"My wife is fine," Justin asserted crisply as he did what the police officer had told him to do—put his hands on the steering wheel.

The police officer's eyebrows shot up. "Wife? You're married to him?" he questioned me. I just nodded.

Lorenza's voice exploded in the air, "But you should've seen the way he slapped her! He—"

"Ma'am," the police officer burst firmly, "let me handle this. You can go home now."

Lorenza eyed me. "But—"

"Go home _now_ ," demanded the police officer. "All you're doing here is obstructing justice. Leave before I have to take you in!"

"But—"

" _NOW!_ " the officer burst, his face in a fierce growl. " **Or I'm taking you in!!!** "

The color drained from Lorenza's face. She gave me a very apologetic look, started her car, and murmured a goodbye to me. "Remember what I told you," she mumbled, her last words to me. My eyes stayed on her car until I couldn't see it anymore. My heart ached. For some reason I felt all alone.

"So what happened?" the officer asked to neither one of us in particular.

Of course Justin jumped in before I could even open my mouth. "We were just having a _little_ argument." he explained.

"A lovers quarrel?" questioned the officer, chuckling. My stomach burned in fury. Couldn't the jerk see the purple marks on my face?!

Justin nodded. "That lady should've minded her own business! I don't know why there are so many interfering instigators out there! They must not have a life of their own and need to get in other people's business! Jeez!!!"

The officer nodded. I turned the side of my bruised face to him. The jerk averted his eyes.

"Unfortunately, there are a lot of people like that wasting our valuable time," the officer stated.

"Sorry, Mr. Officer. It's just that my wife and I fight like all couples do and then we make up," he announced squeezing my knee. "We really love one another."

The officer chuckled as he started to step towards his car. "Just don't fight so loud, or it invites meddlers."

I heard a very heavy breath being let out of Justin. I stared out my window, upset. _Maybe I should've spoken up,_ I said to myself. _There's still time!_ The officer was behind us, blocking us from leaving. As I was about to call back to him, I heard the words that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"It was nothing," he talked back to dispatch. "Just a domestic disturbance. A spousal spat—not a big deal."

The cop had taken Justin's side. I was totally alone in my predicament. _Escaping that monster is impossible,_ I told myself. _He'll kill me, my family, and himself before letting me go. I'm stuck with him._

Stuck that is until he finishes me off, beats me to death.

As I sit in my room at the Sanchez home, I try to stop my trembling by telling myself that I had in fact escaped the monster. Yet, I can't help but be preoccupied about the near rape of Danila. I can't tell you how relieved I am that she got out of that drunken party safe. Yet, I can't help horrible images of my own life beating into me.

_When will I be able to shut the door to my past?_ I wonder.

At school, it seems like the whole student body has seen Danila's drunk video. Some students even warble with a slur to _Let It Go_ as the Dynamic Trio and I pass by them in the hall. It's really frustrating!

In the meantime, Anelina, Emily, and I tell Alfredo how much we appreciate what he did for Danila.

"It was nothing," he murmurs modestly.

"No, Alfredo, it was a lot!" bursts Anelina with pure emotion. "I don't know what would've happened to my sister if you hadn't been around!"

"You're a real hero!" I burst. I mean it. He had stopped violence against a girl. I wish he was around when Justin was pounding me. "Really a hero!"

" _My_ hero," Danila murmurs, her eyes smolder on him.

Alfredo nervously clears his throat. "I'm not a hero—I'm just some guy who was in the right place at the right time."

"You're wrong!" I burst. This time it's my turn to be emotional. "You're not just _some_ guy! Not everyone would've done what you did. Stuff like this is happening at campuses all over, and other people just let it happen! It's really gross to follow the crowd in something so disgusting!"

"But you didn't follow," declares Emily. "You're our hero, Alfredo, whether you like it or not."

Alfredo doesn't seem to like us calling him a hero. It apparently embarrasses him. He appears to like Danila's new crush on him even less. Every time she moons over him, he eyes me with a certain frustration. I shrug helplessly.

I've told him when we're alone that maybe he ought to consider going out with Danila. She's a great girl! But he says that he only considers her a good friend.

"It's not her I have feelings for," he tells me, carefully eyeing me. I nervously shift my eyes. This is an uncomfortable conversation for me.

Meanwhile, as Danila is trying to get Alfredo's attention, she's also becoming more and more fed up with all the snickers around her at school. Anelina, Emily, and I defend and protect her as much as we can, but it isn't enough with so many jerks out there.

One day in the cafeteria, Danila shoots up from her seat, her face determined and her head high. "Make fun of me all you want!" she snaps. "If you want to go _all hater_ and stuff then go ahead and laugh at me if you want! But if you want to make fun of my singing then here goes!" Then she belts out _Let It Go._

I mean really belts it out!

Shocked, Anelina, Emily, and I just stare at her with wide open mouths. Danila sings awesome! Her vociferous, stunning voice reverberates from the walls. She really gives Idina Menzel some competition. As I look around the cafeteria, everyone is staring at her dumbfounded—including the teachers.

"Did you know your sister could sing like that?" I whisper to Anelina who promptly shakes her head. Apparently, Danila had kept her four octave voice a secret from everybody until now.

I chuckle. I'm really proud of my friend. Surprisingly, no teacher or administrator tells her to stop singing.

Chiffon stares at Danila furiously. She knows the joke she made of my friend is now crumbling.

When Danila stops singing, an explosion of applause erupts. Flushed, she slumps back into her seat. I smile at her and mouth, "Wow! Awesome!"

She smiles back at me.

Justin:

My stomach is a huge knot!

Ratchet is out of surgery! The freak didn't bite the bullet! Grrrrr! He should've had the decency to croak!

Freak, freak, freak!

As you can see e shou;dve had the decency to croak! HHHHI'm pretty upset, but what can I do?!

_PATIENCE, PATIENCE,_ I keep telling myself. _Lucette will be mine again_.

Chapter 22

Lucette/Araceli:

Now it's my turn to be frustrated and furious. Even though most students have stopped hating on Danila, Chiffon and her brainless admirers keep doing it. You should see the cyberbullying taking place. Danila decides to ignore it since she knows most of the student body is on her side. I, on the other hand, am at my patience limit. Nightmares have taken over my nights. I keep obsessing of what Justin had done to me with witnesses doing nothing to help me! I know I should be keeping low, but if I don't speak up I'll burst. The dam inside of me of unsaid words is busting open!

I know that clueless Chiffon princess-queen better than anybody—having been her.

How I dread saying that. I'm so ashamed.

One day when the Dynamic Trio and I are going to the library during lunch break, I see Chiffon at a picnic table outside of the cafeteria. Let me just tell you about the huge smirk she's got on her face. She points at Danila who as usual is doing a great job of ignoring her, and the Queen Bee says some snarky statement that sends garish giggles amongst her worshipping cronies surrounding her. They gaze at Chiffon as if she came up with the cure for cancer or something. It's disgusting when all she does is ridicule people and act all high and mighty!

I really can't stand this anymore!

Telling the Dynamic Trio that I forgot something in my locker and that I'll meet up with them a little later, the three girls step into the library. I march up to the sneering Chiffon and let her have it! "Stop bullying Danila," I demand.

"What?" snaps Chiffon, obviously surprised that a wallflower like me had come up to her. You know how I pretty much try to blend into my surroundings so I don't stand out. I'm standing out now for sure! Everyone in the schoolyard is staring.

"You heard me!" I shoot back.

Chiffon guffaws. "You and what army?"

"I don't need an army," I grunt, "but you need an audience to mess with other people, so you can play the popularity game. Believe me, I know who you are."

"You're just a _nobody_ ," she spits out. "Why are you even talking to _me?_!"

"Your royal highness," I mock with my voice full of sarcasm as I fake a bow in an exaggerated way, "I know I'm one of the _little_ people and you have this lunch kingdom of _lowly_ subjects, but may I have an audience with your regal high-uppityness _?_ "

Belly chuckles reverberate in the air. I had made my point. As Chiffon's furious sight scans her surroundings of snickering students, she becomes even more enraged, her lips shaking.

Chiffon's eyes throw out fire. "Listen, insect, get out of my sight!"

"I'm not scared of you," I snarl. "To your feet-kissing followers your word is law, but to me you're just some snobby girl who thinks she's better than everybody because she overpays for some designer crap that she's brainwashed into thinking is magical and makes her better than everyone."

Chiffon's eyebrows shoot up. She sputters undecipherable language, not finding the right words to throw back at me.

"Clueless, silly girl," I continue, "and silly followers thinking they need you to be somebodies."

The Chiffon cronies all gasp in unison. "I decide to speak directly to them. "Come on, guys," I implore, "Stop being someone's puppet. Stop letting someone use you so they can be acting all superior. Just think about it! For goodness sakes, use the brain that was given to you and stop letting someone tell you what to think! Chiffon is only popular because of you. Don't _beg_ for her attention, don't _grovel_ for her approval, and don't _give away_ your power! The power is yours—all yours!"

"You don't know what an enemy you've just made!" Chiffon snaps, having found her voice. "I'm going to destroy you, insect!"

I chuckle loudly. She's now going to cyberbully me, but I haven't had a Facebook since I was lucky Lucette. I eye her forcefully, without fear. That's the only way to deal with a bully—it's my experience that bullies are basically cowards.

As expected, she quickly shifts her eyes. I keep glaring at her, showing her how unafraid I am. Then suddenly she shifts her eyes back to me with a smirk on her face as if she realizes how to get me.

"I made a mistake," she retorts. "You're not an insect after all."

I hold her smirk, my eyes unwavering.

"No not an insect," she continues her snarky tone. "You're really a cow or a pig but not a tiny, _skinny_ insect." Her hangers-on howl and guffaw.

I smile, actually grin. "Whatever."

My answer infuriates her. She wants me to crumble. "You're fat!" she blurts, her face in a type of snicker that fully expects to crush the opponent.

I start laughing so loud that all the students in the area eye me—completely startled. "Why should I care what you think of me?" I challenge nonchalantly.

There was a time when I would've been crushed with someone calling me fat. I would've eaten nothing but lettuce for at least a week even when the scale was telling me I didn't weigh more and that my size two clothes didn't fit tight. I was so influenced by what others thought that I was a slave to opinions. Now I'm not. They can insult me all they want.

I now know who I am!

I'm happy with my size and who I am. I'm the healthiest I've ever been. My period doesn't suddenly disappear for months on end because I'm over-dieting. I enjoy food, am nourished by it, instead of being at war with it. Being at war with my own body. Being at war with myself.

The heck with that!

This is my life, my body, my thoughts. I'm in charge of myself!

"Fatty! Fatty! Fatty!" Chiffon chortles, obviously thinking this will upset me. It's so horribly fixed in our society that being called fat is one of the worst insults. But I understand the mind game Chiffon's playing and I _choose_ not to play. Choose— _my_ choice. As I said before, I don't care what she thinks of me. Why should I? She's a horrible, mean, small hearted person—unworthy of my attention to her beliefs. Unworthy of me giving her power over my feelings, over how I feel about myself. Her insults glide off of me because they mean _nothing_ to the smart person I try to be.

I know who I am! Yeah, I keep saying it because it's important I always remember so that clueless, ugly people don't try to tell me who I am.

I grin even wider. "Fatty? Really?—that's all you have for me?"

She stomps her foot. Can you believe it? "Fat slob! Fat pig! FAT, FAT, FAT!!!"

Laughing with all my might, I lift my hand and make a come hither gesture with my fingers. "Yeah, unload all you want, your royal high-uppityness. Go ahead. Give it all to me—every fat insult you have. I. DON'T. CARE what someone like you says about me. You mean nothing at all to me," I sniff dismissively.

"Then why are you still in front of my face!" snaps Chiffon, her words tripping with one another.

The nightmarish memories of Justin _taking_ me at will bursts inside my head. _RAPE_! Complicity! No one to help me! I want to vomit then and there. "I still have a few things to say to the likes of you!!!" I snap.

"What can someone like _you_ have to say to someone like me?"

"That stupid party where you got Danila drunk," I shoot back, "you were egging some guy to rape her and post pictures of her! How low can you go?!"

Chiffon stumbles up from her seat as if wanting to leave, still not meeting my enraged sight. "I'm not talking to you anymore, fat insect. You're not worth my time."

I stand in front of her, preventing her from stomping a way. I _need_ to stand my ground! I can't scrunch in a corner anymore, like I did with Justin. "How can you egg on rape?!!!"

"Get out of my way!" she spits out.

I cross my hands in front of my chest. Surprisingly, her cronies don't make a movement towards me to get me out of the way. They seem to be scared of me too. "I guess I can't expect better from you. You think you're so far above everyone that you don't have feelings for other people!"

"Get out of my way!" she repeats, frustration in her voice.

I don't move. "How can you not see how wrong that was?!" I snarl, heatedly glaring at her fan club as I furiously unload my speech. "What's wrong with all of you?! How would you like it if someone did it to you or to someone you cared about?" They stare at the ground unable to meet me in the eye. I wish so much that I could take them inside my nightmare with Justin, so they could experience even a tiny bit of what happened to me. "Are you so in worship of this clueless Chiffon girl that you'd join in something so wrong and illegal to boot?!!! What's. Wrong. With. You." I let that sit in their ears for a few seconds as I push boiling tears back. Chiffon gnashes her teeth and glares to her side but says and does nothing.

"If Alfredo hadn't gotten there, something really horrible would've happened!" I continue my soapbox tirade, my throat violently squeezes itself with frustration. "And all of you would've been accomplices! Guilty of being stupid! Guilty of pushing it on and even if you didn't cheer it on that night you'd still be guilty of doing nothing!!! WHAT'S. WRONG. WITH. YOU?! Don't tell me that you don't know that rape is really wrong! What kind of human beings are you?" I stop to catch my breath and try to calm down but then the frustrated fury boils over the pot again. _"YOU'RE MEGA-EVIL SOCIOPATHS!"_ The tears I had pushed back threaten to rush out, and I abruptly turn around and stride away without even glancing back. Hopefully my passionate tirade got to some students. I for sure feel better at having let some of my fury out, at having finally spoken up, even with the emotion violently shaking me. But I'm depleted. Exhausted. Emotionally drained.opefu

Alfredo goes up to me as I'm about to step into the library, startling me. I didn't know he was outside listening to my scene with Chiffon. For some reason, I thought he was with the Dynamic Trio.

"Great job," he states.

I smile weakly, forcing myself to get it together. "Thanks."

"I'm overwhelmed with what you said," he states.

"Not more than how overwhelmed I am by what _you_ did." I find that if I concentrate on him, my insides don't tremble as much.

"You're pretty awesome, Araceli."

"Thanks, hero."

"You stood up to that snake and her minions," murmurs Alfredo. "Now you're _my_ hero."

"Thanks," I repeat, trying to look normal. Trying not to show him the earthquake of emotions I'm forcing to stay still.

Justin:

As I wait for that freak Ratchet to recover, I decide to go fishing. You'd be surprised to know about how much that activity really calms me down. The few times my lovely Lucette and I fought, I would go fishing when things got too explosive if you know what I mean.

When my love for her got too much and I had to strike her because the emotions overwhelmed me, I'd rush out the apartment with my fishing tackle even when it was dark. By the time I came back, passions weren't so explosive and I could apologize to her for what she had made me do. I'd kiss all her black and blue bruises. I'd have a precious present to show her how I'm always thinking of her and our love.

I sigh deeply.

Does she ever remember the heartfelt gifts I'd get for her or has she forgotten? Has she forgotten everything we meant to one another?

It's too terrible to keep thinking about!

Realizing I hadn't gone fishing for a long time, I decide it's time to go. It's time to take back some normalcy in my life that had been snatched away from me when my wife had left me. Opening the tackle box to make certain everything I need is in it, I gasp.

I can't believe what I find in it!

Chapter 23

Lucette/Araceli:

News travels way too fast in school and I seem to be on everyone's tongue almost the minute the confrontation I had with Chiffon was over. I had expected a few days of reprieve, so I could get myself together, but I didn't even get a day of it. The Dynamic Trio is upset that I hadn't told them what I was about to do when the three went to the library. I tell them that I didn't want them involved in case I got beaten up by, as Alfredo calls them, Chiffon's minions.

The trio furiously responds by telling me that they would've gladly gotten beaten up to protect me. I'm touched. I apologize and to my huge relief, they readily accept it. Underlying everything is that the trio thinks I'm a foster child and have some sort of a tragic past that makes me have trust issues. Well, the last part is right. I do have an awful past that makes me mistrust most people. However, my emotional problems keep changing for the better now that I'm in the Sanchez circle.

Still, I'm totally depleted with what happened earlier. Thank goodness it's Friday. Once I get home from school, I shut the door behind me in my room and just veg out. Licking my wounds, I deep breathe to keep from crying. Today brought out so many emotions that I can barely stand the sickening memories striking me in the face.

But then I decide to just let it happen—to let it all out.

I'm alone. I'm hurting. I'm human.

Sob. Weep. Cries.

I'm overwhelmed.

Justin:

My heart shatters itself again.

My wedding ring!

I can't believe Lucette's wedding ring is in my tackle box. Why did she leave it there? Why did she do this to me?!! Tears start rolling down in a flood from my eyes. I would've never done something like this to her—no matter what!

Oh why, oh why, do I love my wife so much more than she's ever loved me?

I just have to be more understanding of her confusion right now. Once she sees me again she'll realize how strong and valuable our love is for each other.

I'm in so much pain that I can hardly stand it!

Chapter 24

Lucette/Araceli:

I'm still hiding away in my room. I haven't left it very much except for meals. The Sanchezes are awesome about giving me my space. It's Saturday, the day after I told Chiffon off, and I still need my privacy to come to terms with my past _and_ my present. That whole episode with her Majesty triggered so much. I realize now that emotions I had been trying to suppress came tumbling out because I had gotten out from under the rock I had been hiding in.

What a nightmare I had lived with Justin. And at the time I was so convinced I would never be able to get away from him. I was so convinced that I'd have to stay with him until I'd die at his hands.

I can hardly believe I'm so far from that monster! That I'm living a full life without him anywhere in sight! And the first person I have to thank is Dr. Phil.

Yeah, you heard right.

See, I started watching his show by accident. Since Justin and I couldn't afford cable, I'd switch from one channel to the other trying to find something to watch—something that would get my mind off of the hell I was living. It would've been nice to study for my GED, but Justin was very much set against me getting it. All the talk Justin gave me about being supportive of me getting a higher education turned out to be a big fat lie.

He told me one day that I didn't need to continue my education because he would always support me. Now I realize he didn't want me to move forward, to be able to be independent of him. He needed me to have to depend on him which is why he was actually happy my parents had disowned me.

"You don't need anything from your mom and dad," he had told me with glee right after I had told him about my parents' reaction to the pregnancy. "You only need me! No one else! I'll be your everything!"

So without having much to do all day, the apartment would be spotless by noon, I went crazy trying to find something to watch on regular TV. I really couldn't imagine watching Dr. Phil and his nutsy guests. I mean, the old guy had some real weird ones on his show, but one day there was just nothing else to watch. I really thought I couldn't relate to his show until . . .

I realized I wasn't so different from his guests!

He had an abused woman finding it difficult to leave her husband—sound familiar? Dr. Phil's wife Robin has an organization called _When Georgia Smiled_ for abused gals like me! Of course I couldn't visit the site because Justin checked the computer every day to see what I was checking out.

Man, this monster controlled every part of my life!

EEEEEEEK!!!

Dr. Phil said a guy should never put his hands on a woman in anger. He also said something about there coming a day when we can make decisions that matter, when we can put right what was wrong.

The very beginning of that day came when Justin whacked me on the stairs. I woke up in the hospital having lost the baby, but also having lost some of my fear in the middle of all the grief that had overtaken me.

When I got home with all kinds of emotions whirling inside of me, I started dreaming of what I had never allowed myself to dream about—escaping from the monster. Then the letter came that set everything in motion, that seemed to break my chains. I wasn't married to the monster after all! It was like a sign from the heavens that I needed to make my escape dreams come true!

Fortunately, I still had a card hidden away that Alejo had given me a few weeks before. A chance encounter with him because of my bruised face and my tragic disposition had caught his attention.

He told me he knew of a battered women's shelter that could help me. That was my lifeline.

I took it and finally moved forward with _my_ life!

A knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts, out of my trip through memory lane.

"Araceli, can I come in?" Mrs. Sanchez asks, her sweet voice and kind as always.

"Come in."

She smiles her tiny but warm way and sits on the bed with me. "You've hardly come out of your room since yesterday. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I blurt.

She eyes me carefully as if she doesn't believe me. "I don't think so," she murmurs quietly.

"I really don't want to be a bother to you and Mr. Sanchez," I burst.

She smiles. "Of course you're not a bother. Of all the children we've helped in our home, you're the least troublesome—why sometimes I hardly know you're here. It's just that Mauricio and I worry so much about you."

My eyebrows shoot up. "You worry about _me_? Really?"

Mrs. Sanchez sighs. "Why does it surprise you, Araceli?"

"I'm not your flesh and blood."

"No, but why should that matter?"

I eye her with disbelief. I realize now that in my life I haven't had a lot of people who have cared about me—the girl deep inside. "Why should I matter to you?" I challenge. "You barely know me and as I just said, I'm not related to you at all."

"Araceli," she murmurs gently, "you don't have to be of our blood for us to care about you. Mauricio and I are very worried that you have too much locked inside, that it's going to make you sick. You can tell us about what you're going through. We'll help you any way we can."

Carefully pent up, boxed in tears burst out of me then. She gets closer to me and puts her arms around me. I feel I'm in a cocoon of safety. "You just don't know what a terrible person I am," I burst.

"What do you mean?"

"I used to look down on people and treat them like dirt," I blurt.

"Do you do it now?"

"Well, no."

She chuckles. "All right then. The past is the past and all we have is the present."

"Maybe that's why I was punished."

"What do you mean, Araceli?"

I take in a breath. "Maybe Justin was my punishment for having been such a terrible person."

She takes me by the shoulders and makes me look at her. "No, sweet girl, get that out of your head. Justin wasn't your punishment. Don't think like that. Don't blame yourself for his violence! No, no!"

"But I disappointed my parents so much. I got pregnant and crushed their whole dreams about me."

She sighs. "I don't know your parents, but I can tell you something I know for sure. You were a blessing for them when you were born."

I shake my head violently. "You're wrong," I blurt. "Like you said, you don't know anything about my parents!"

"I don't need to know your parents," she murmurs softly, "to know how lucky they are to have you."

"How can you say that?" I burst, still upset.

"I can say that because I can't have children and if I had ever had the miracle of you, I would've thanked God every day of my life for you."

Silence. I'm trying to take in what she has just said.

"You'd be thanking God for your teen-age daughter, even if she got pregnant?" I question.

"Yes," she shot off without hesitation.

"What if she falls for a violent guy?"

"I'd die a million deaths to protect her." My arms go around her, embracing her with the most force I have inside of me.

After I finish weeping, she's crying right with me, she gently continues questioning me. "So what's happening in school?" Wow. She had guessed right as to where my anguish had exploded from. I tell her about the confrontation on Friday. She listens patiently and with a compassionate face.

I'm relieved I don't have to keep what happened to Danila a secret anymore. The family already knows about Danila's antics from her very own mouth. She had already been given a punishment—grounded for a month—and had been made to promise that she'd never go to that kind of party again.

Not until I finish with the Chiffon confrontation story does Mrs. Sanchez speak. "I'm proud of you," she says.

I'm puzzled. "Why?"

"You stood up for a friend. You stood up for what's right. You made people question their bad behaviors. I'd say that's pretty great."

"Thanks," I murmur, warmth spreading through me.

"Araceli, look in the mirror and see the remarkable girl you've become. You've come a long way from that scared girl who got here and didn't know how to trust or how to be cared for. Just look at you now!"

Now I know why so many of the Sanchezes' former foster children return to visit—the tremendous love for their foster parents shows on every part of their faces. Yeah, I know why for sure.

Justin:

My friends are soooo awesome! Have I told you how I've got the greatest friends in the world? In order to get my mind off that freak who's still recovering in the hospital, my buddies take me to a strip club!

They know that ever since I found Lucette's wedding ring in my tackle box I've been inconsolable. Nothing gets me out of my funk! But then my friends bribe someone to let me in the club. Unfortunately I'm only seventeen but cold hard cash changes my _minor_ status, and I'm able to drink a few beers and enjoy the naked girls.

Of course, none of them is as beautiful as my lovely Lucette, but it's still fun to watch those hot girls strip.

I whoop, holler, and fill their G-strings with dollar bills.

The guys then pay for a private dance for me in a secluded room from the most beautiful girl—the blonde one that has a passing resemblance to my wife. I keep telling you how awesome my friends are!

I sit on a chair when the fake Lucette starts dancing on my lap. She writhes and dances on my lap. Suddenly, the alcohol rushes through me, sloshes in my mind, and she morphs into Lucette. Fury burns my throat and then swiftly spreads to the rest of me.

HOW COULD SHE LEAVE ME!!!

How could she throw away my love for her as if it meant nothing to her!!!

The slut was getting it on with another guy—I just knew it!

SLUT!!!

Before I know it, I open my tight fist and really smack the fake Lucette. _CLACK!_ She falls to the ground.

AHHHHHHH! she screams, her voice bellowing in an ear piercing sound.

She abruptly scurries up and rushes out the room. She returns with bouncers. My friends and I are thrown out of the club and told never to come back.

"Sorry, guys," I tell my friends, upset I had gotten them banned from the strip joint along with me.

They chuckle loudly. I couldn't believe they weren't furious with me. "I would've paid to see you let the skank really have it," one of my friends proclaims. The rest nod and give agreeing yelps.

"But I got you banned," I apologetically say.

"Who cares? There's a lot of strip clubs."

My friends!—they're the best!

Chapter 25

Lucette/Araceli:

It's Sunday. I'm having a leisure day, one of those do nothing but flutter around days, when Alfredo stops by the house to visit me. He looks nervous but determined to have a word with me.

"Look, Araceli," he mutters, "I've given you space, but I need to see how you're doing with what happened on Friday with Chiffon."

"I'm fine," I assert, trying to make my voice as steady as possible.

His eyes tell me he doesn't really believe me. "Are you really okay? Danila, Anelina, and Emily tell me you haven't wanted to go out with them or even talk much to them."

I shrug. "Is it so bad that I want a weekend to myself?"

He sighs. "I can understand needing some privacy, but I think there's more going on with you."

"What could be going on with me?" I mutter nervously.

He eyes me carefully. "Maybe you've got a past that's cutting into you."

I stare at him, startled. Was I that easy to read? I had worked so hard to mask my true identity. "My past is none of your business—" I rush.

"I know," he cuts in. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to snoop into your stuff. Araceli, I'm just worried that's all."

"You don't have to worry about me," I state. "I told you that I'm fine."

"You were so awesome standing up to Chiffon and her minions, but I could see something was tearing into you. I just want to help. I want you to know I'm here for you."

I sigh. "You're such a nice guy, Alfredo."

"Ouch! Being called nice is the kiss of death," he murmurs, grimacing.

I shake my head. "Maybe to some clueless girls a nice guy is only for friendship, but I've gotten to know better."

He grins, his eyes steadily on me. "So I have a chance with you?"

"Believe me, Alfredo, you don't want my baggage."

"Try me," he bursts eagerly.

"Why do you like me so much?" I find myself having to ask that blunt question. He has two girls dying for him—Danila and the other girl he helped at the notorious party. Both girls constantly moon and swoon for him. Why is he still stuck on me? Me—no makeup, plain clothes, loose hair without much style, and glasses that put a barrier between the world and me. Me—quiet, nerdy, in a shell, defensive and barely discovering who she really is. Why does this guy have some sort of a crush on me? It's really bewildering.

"Why do you ask me that?" he questions, puzzled.

"Alfredo, you should be dating Danila. She's smart, beautiful, and fun."

Alfredo eyes me with exasperation. "So are you," he bursts.

"C'mon," I snap.

"You, c'mon," he shoots back. "You're also smart, beautiful, and fun."

I roll my eyes. "I'm none of those things."

"Who told you you weren't? Why would you believe such a lie about yourself?"

_Why do I believe such a lie about myself?_ resonates in my mind. It's a good question. I didn't believe I was smart because none of the people in my life had believed it so I didn't either. They thought that my talent was being beautiful and now that I don't look like lucky Lucette at all, I can't wrap my brain around me being beautiful without all the artifice I needed in my old life. And as for fun—I'm too messed up with what had happened with Justin to be fun. I mean, I'm always looking over my shoulder, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, and thorny and defensive to boot.

"Alfredo —"

"Araceli, listen to me," he demands, "You need to know who you are because apparently you don't. I know you probably have some really bad stuff in your past—I can see it in your eyes, _but_ this is _now!_ In the _now_ you're as smart as anything with the way you _think_ about things, study, and reason your problems out. I can really talk to you about most anything—we can talk Einstein one minute, Da Vinci another, and then top it off with Cesar Chavez."

I shrug. "Yeah, we can talk for hours," I grudgingly say. There were times we talked about ideas for _very_ long periods. It was exhilarating for my brain! I have to admit it.

"You're not only smart but beautiful too, Araceli."

I energetically shake my head. "No, I'm not beau—"

" _Yes,_ you are!" he insists.

By this time my irritation has grown to anger. "Look, Alfredo, there's nothing special about my appearance. I don't wear the right clothes, I don't do up my face, and I never go to a hair salon. No one ever notices me."

"I notice you," he shoots back.

"I'm a plain Jane—no question about it."

"Maybe you need to rethink beauty," he insists.

"What?"

"Whether you believe it or not, you're very pretty without the junk you're talking about—you're a natural beauty. But more than how some physical features come together I think beauty is spiritual—the light in your eyes, the amazing things that come out of your mouth, and the warm smile. I keep telling you that you're beautiful. You're gorgeous in more ways than one!"

I chuckle. "Thanks, Alfredo. You're very good for a girl's ego."

"I haven't finished with my assessment of you, Araceli," he states.

My eyebrows shoot up. "No?"

"I haven't told you what makes you fun."

I snicker. "Me—fun? I don't think so."

"Not just amusement parks and parties are fun, Araceli. People who say smart things can be fun too. Talking for hours is fun. Being with someone who is nice is fun. You like to read, discuss things, and laugh at smart jokes. You're fun, Araceli."

"You mean I'm boring, Alfredo."

He chuckles. "One person's boring activity is another's fun one, don't you think?"

I smile. "I guess so."

"Araceli, I want you to know that you can count on me for anything. Really you can. I'll keep your secrets if you ever get sick and tired of keeping everything in and want to unload on somebody."

Gosh!—Alfredo is such a friend, a real one! When had he sneaked into my private life space without me noticing? I want to say that it happened just today, but I'd be wrong. I had been finding myself looking forward to my talks with him and even seeing him at school for a while now.

It's so cool that he's not a fake friend who's with me for popularity but a real one.

Wow!—Alfredo may be my best friend!

Sorry Dynamic Trio. You're awesome, but Alfredo is in another category.

Justin:

The backhanded slap I had given the stripper comes often to my mind. The slut had really screamed at me after she had come back to the private room with bouncers. She screamed that I was less of a guy for having beaten a woman.

She had yelled at the top of her lungs that I was a creep!

She was making such a big deal out of nothing! It was just a _little_ slap—barely touching her. I don't know why she had made such a fuss over a _little_ blood trailing from her mouth. I really wanted to slap her again, but her guards were waiting for me to make a move to let me have it.

My friends had no idea what was happening or I'm sure they would've helped me beat the crap out of the bouncers. I had to stand there like a coward and let her shriek at me that I was a poor excuse of a human being, that I was a rabid animal that should be put down, that violence was the only way someone like me felt good.

I had tried to laugh off her cruel words but in reality they had gotten to me.

They make me wonder if Lucette left me because of my occasional fits of passion.

That's what I call my _little_ episodes.

But I'm sure she really understood that I'm so passionate because I love her so much! She had to know that. I'm going to explain it to her very carefully when I see her, so that she knows without a doubt how I feel about her.

I'll clarify how important she's to me, and she'll fall into my arms. Yeah, she'll be all mine again.

She won't ever be confused about me again.

She'll never want to leave me again.

### Chapter 26

Lucette/Araceli:

After clarifying my best friend feelings for Alfredo, I give myself permission to hang out with him more. I'm careful, though, that Danila understands without a doubt that Alfredo and I are just buddies. Nothing more. I'm not trying to steal her infatuation. She appreciates that I made my friendship with Alfredo clear, and she continues her pursuit of him.

I feel kinda bad for her. He seems to take no interest in her, but she persists. I had tried to get Alfredo to go out with her several times, but he had gotten angry and told me to quit playing matchmaker.

_At least I tried,_ I tell myself.

At the moment, Alfredo and I are in my room studying for a Science test. He had just dropped in. He's taken to showing up at my home unexpectedly, and I can't say I blame him. When he used to call me to ask me if he could come over, I'd quickly call Danila as soon as we hung up. Danila would show up at the house as if by surprise.

It didn't take long for someone as smart as Alfredo to figure out what was happening. Now he shows up out of the blue, so I won't give a heads up to Danila. To be honest, I'm ashamed to say I'm relieved Alfredo forced my hand on this. I really like our private conversations with just the two of us which is why I don't secretly call Danila while he's in the house.

I do feel guilty though.

But not guilty enough to call Danila.

When Alfredo and I finish studying, we decide to watch a movie on TV. The Sanchezes are out with friends, so we have the TV to ourselves. We eat tuna sandwiches we had both prepared and sit on the carpet while leaning on the sofa as we get into the outrageous movie. Believe it or not, we're watching _Sharknado._ It may be kinda a silly movie—I mean sharks in a tornado, really! But it's a fun movie if you turn off your disbelief. _And_ the movie is especially fun when your brain has been on serious work for hours with brain cells exhausted from too much pondering.

Turning off the brain and just vegging out.

Relaxing, laughing, adrenaline pumping. Flying sharks, clouds filled with the predators, and the main character getting swallowed by a shark and then getting out alive—preposterous for sure but fun to watch.

Alfredo agrees with me. Neither one of us had wanted to watch an Oscar award winning picture. After the film is over, he turns to me with a serious look on his face. "What a romantic movie."

I start chuckling, a snicker underneath my laughter. "Romantic?" I burst.

"Yep?"

I laugh harder. "You've got to be kidding."

"It's romantic when you don't get eaten by a shark."

"Okay, if that's all you require out of romance."

"Actually, no," he murmurs, his eyes deeply climbing into mine. I can't help but gaze back at the intensity of his stare. He takes a strand of my hair and starts twirling it around his finger. A crackling with electricity silence permeates the air as he plays with my hair.

I take a deep breath as I involuntarily move my face closer to his. It's like I'm being pulled into him. He does the same as if he also needs to get closer to me. Then our lips meet. The warmth of his lips vibrate on mine. Gentle. Tender. Justin had never kissed me like this. He always tried to take everything—tried to swallow me up if he could. I had once thought it was unrestrained passion for me. Now I know better. Justin had to dominate everything around him, even a kiss.

Alfredo isn't trying to dominate but share with me instead. His lips caress me, sending tremors through me. When I realize how into the kiss I am, I jerk my head back, disconnecting myself to him.

"Araceli, I'm so sorry," he bursts. "Please forgive m—"

But I don't let him finish. Crack! I plant a huge slap on his cheek instead.

Realizing what I had done, I start trembling uncontrollably as I wait for the reciprocating attack. Horrified. Terrified. Shaken. Since we're still on the carpet, I quickly contort myself into the fetal position waiting for that first whack.

That first punch.

That first kick.

The first agonizing pain.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I brace myself. I pray what I always do during these kinds of moments, _Please let me get out of this alive._

"Araceli!" Alfredo exclaims, his voice dripping with concern. "What are you doing?"

At that instant I realize where I am and who is with me. Alfredo had helped two girls in danger. He wouldn't hit a girl, would he? I flutter my eyes open and carefully stare at him as I slowly get out of the fetal position but stay on the floor.

He starts getting closer to me. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

I jerk back as his hand lands on my shoulder. "Don't touch me!"

He pulls back, hurt in his eyes. "Araceli, I'm just trying to help," he murmurs softly.

"Leave, Alfredo."

"What?" he questions, startled.

"I asked you to leave," I blurt.

"But—"

"You want to help me?" I burst.

"Yes, of course."

"Then give me some space," I shoot back. "I really need it right now."

"Okay, Araceli but before I go I need to tell you how sorry I—"

"Not now," I murmur. "Just leave please."

He sighs and then nods. "Okay, if that's what you want."

"That's what I _need._ "

The worried puzzlement still shows on his face as he steps out the door. Slow tears start rolling down my face. _Will things ever be normal with me?_ I wonder.

Will Justin ever stop being a threat in my mind?

Justin:

The freak is _stiiiiiill_ in the hospital! Stupid, stupid Ratchet! I'm at my wits end!

Can you believe that he actually called me to tell me he'd soon be out?

"Stop being impatient, kid," he snarled. "I'll find her."

This didn't make me feel at all better. As far as I'm concerned, the longer he takes, the colder the trail gets. I'm about to break something out of sheer frustration when I hear a knock on my door. I swing it open wondering who could be bothering me as I'm about to explode. When I see the pack of beer in my friend's hands, I grin.

"How did you guess I needed a drink?" I grunt.

Rocco shrugs. "Don't we _always_ need the comfort and relief of booze?"

I chuckle darkly. "Yeah!"

"And don't worry about there being enough beer for the both of us."

"What do you mean?"

He chuckles loudly. "Buddy, there's more where this came from—a lot more. My cooler in the back of my truck is loaded with beer."

"That's what I'm talking about!" I burst. Just then I decide that Rocco is my best friend.

We settle on my sofa and start drinking. The cans feel cold to my touch. It's just the way I like my beer—frosty. Rocco asks me why I needed a drink so much. I explain that Ratchet is still laid up in the hospital. Meanwhile, Lucette seems to be getting further and further away from me.

"Tough luck," he grumbles.

"You can say that again." I take a huge swig of beer.

"That Lucette was _so_ hot," he murmurs dreamily.

The jerk seems to be fantasizing about my wife! I shoot up from the sofa, ready to beat the crap out of my new best friend. "Hey—"

"Calm down, Justin," he soothes, "I'm just complimenting your taste in girls. I know she's your wife."

I hadn't told anybody that my marriage to Lucette hadn't been real. Lucette _is_ my wife no matter what some stupid judge says.

I glare down at him from my standing positon. "You'd better not be having any sexy thoughts about her!"

"Justin, we're friends, right?"

"Not if you want to get it on with my wife!"

He groans. "While Lucette is really beautiful, I'd never mess a friend over."

"No?"

"Heck no!"

I feel reassurance flood through me. I hate the idea of fighting with Rocco. The guy always brings me beer. Plopping back down on the sofa, I open another beer can.

Rocco eyes me with relief. "You really love Lucette, don't you?" he questions softly.

"You can't imagine how much I love my wife!" My speech is already starting to slur. I had already downed quite a few cans of beer. Rocco will have to get us some more from his truck pretty soon.

"You're such an inspiration to me."

"How is that?" I ask.

"I envy your love affair with your wife. I hope that someday I love a girl as much as you love your wife. She's everything to you, and you refuse to give up on finding her."

" _NEVER!_ I'll never give up on finding her!" I bellow. "She's got to understand that we belong together!"

"Yeah!"

"I don't care what I have to do to find her! I don't care how much money I have to spend! I don't care how many mountains I have to climb! I don't care how many oceans I have to sail! I don't care!"

"You're such a poet, Justin."

"I'm just a guy who totally loves his wife, and I don't care what I have to do to convince her we're soulmates—destined for one another!"

"What passion! What an amazing love story!"

"Yeah, amazing. Once I find her my life and hers will have meaning again."

"You know you can count on me to help you any way I can."

"Yeah, thanks a lot," I assert. "It's quite enough that you get me beer."

"Anything for you, buddy."

"I hate this underage business. If I'm old enough to be married then I should be old enough to drink." I'm slurring my words a lot more now.

"Yeah, right."

"The marriage noose is tight around my neck!"

"Right."

"My lovely Lucette!" I yell from way inside of me as I squeeze the beer can to my face. "Where are you, my love?!!!"

"Yeah, where?"

"There's no one like Lucette," I garble, sighing.

"Hey, that gal at the stripper club kinda looked like her, right?" Rocco mentions nonchalantly.

"That skank made a big deal about the _little_ slap I gave her!" I snap.

Rocco's eyebrows shoot up in disbelief. "Little?" he questions.

"Yeah, little."

"Buddy, I have to tell you that the slap you gave her wasn't a _little_ one."

"You weren't there!" I retort defensively.

"But I saw the blood on her face."

"It was just a little trail."

Rocco eyes me with surprise. "It was a lot of blood. The only reason the police wasn't called was because it was illegal for you to have been allowed in the club, and the owner hates problems with the law."

"Rocco, I'm telling you that I hardly touched the slut except to put dollar bills in her G-string," I assert guardedly.

Rocco sighs, eyeing me warily. "You're my best bud which is why I have to tell you that a friend of mine went to the club yesterday. The stripper hasn't been back to work because of the injury."

"She's lying! She probably took advantage of the situation to get some time off!"

"Maybe," he mutters.

"Stop pissing me off and do something useful like getting us some more beer."

As he goes outside for the alcohol, I rub my temples. Rocco's words slap at me. _Not a little slap. Lotsa blood. Injured stripper._

_No!!!_ I say to myself. I didn't hit that slut that hard nor was I that rough with my wife either. They both deserved whatever came to them.

Deserved it!

Chapter 27

Lucette/Araceli:

With all the freaking out about the slap I had laid on Alfredo, I hadn't thought about the kiss. But at night when all is quiet and my nerves finally calm down, the memory of it comes to me.

His kiss.

Soft and gentle.

Putting my fingers to my lips, I can still feel his. I can still feel him close to me. So much warmth. Zero violence!

_Stop it!_ I tell myself. I can't be having any amorous feelings for Alfredo—for so many reasons.

One—he's my friend, a good one that would be a shame to lose over romance.

Two—I'm not who he thinks I am. Even my name is a lie.

Three—I'm not ready for a romantic relationship, may never be ready.

Four—Justin, Justin, Justin! Need I say more? He's dangerous and I'd be putting Alfredo in lots of danger. Besides, I can't get past what the monster did to me.

Five—Danila. I'd never betray my friend by going out with the guy she wants to be with.

So, Alfredo is off limits to me. Totally off limits. That goes without question.

In school, Alfredo tries to casually cozy up to me. His eyes stare at me with fidgety concern. Because Danila gives us a funny look, I try to stay away from him. She asks to talk to me in private. As we go to a solitary bench outside during the lunch break, my stomach is really hurting. I'm worried about what she's about to tell me. I'm guessing that this is about Alfredo.

I'll have to convince her that there's nothing between us and that there'll never be.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" I question nonchalantly as we arrive at the bench.

"Alfredo."

My stomach lurches. I hate having been right. "What about him?" I murmur, concern twisting inside of me.

"Do you _like_ him?"

"What?" The question had taken me by complete surprise.

"I think he _likes_ you."

Nervous, I try to undo the conversation. "We're really good buddies and like each other in the friendship way."

"Don't think so," she asserts calmly. "There's more to it than friendship."

"Don't be silly," I rush. I try to get out of this specific talk. "What I want you to tell me about is how did you get an A plus out of old curmudgeon Mr. Smith? I haven't been able to get him to even crack a smile during P.E."

Danila sighs. "We were talking about Alfredo," she states dryly.

I just can't get out of this talk no matter how much I try. "What about him?" I give up.

"It's really obvious that you two have crushes on each other. Alfredo—"

"Look," I interrupt her, "I'm not going to go out with him, okay? He's my friend and that's all. You're free to pursue him."

She unexpectedly chuckles. I eye her with surprise. Is she so relieved that I'm not going to date Alfredo that she's laughing? "That's just it," she finally speaks over the chuckles, "I don't want to go after him."

I'm startled again by her. "What do you mean? Haven't you been trying to get together with him?"

"Yeah, but that's over," she shoots back. "All over. I figured out that the only reason why I was crushing on him was because of some misguided savior thing. He really saved the day when he helped me at that party. I realize that I really only care for him as a friend."

"Same with me," I blurt.

She rolls her eyes and grimaces at me. "Liar."

"Don't call me a liar," I burst.

She sighs. "Don't take me for a dummy. You really _like_ Alfredo."

"No, I don't!" I insist.

"Stop lying to yourself, Araceli," she murmurs. "He's such a good guy—the best. You're permitted to crush on him."

Later that day Alfredo tells me he's pretty broken up about what had happened the other day. Giving me a pained look, he asks if he can apologize to me in private after school. I tell him to come by the house even though I think I've already had my limit of intimate talks for the day.

When we're by ourselves in the living room, he blurts, "I'm so sorry about kissing you, but I _really_ wanted to do it!"

I sigh. "We're good friends, Alfredo. We can never be more than that."

"Why not? You don't like me that way?"

I sigh again. "I've got a rough past, okay?" My sight falls to the ground.

"Well, after the other day, that's obvious. Someone hurt you a lot, right?"

I nod. "Right," I blurt, my eyes shifting back to his face.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Araceli."

"Please understand that I've got issues only I can take care of."

"I wish you'd let me help," he bursts. "You don't let anyone get close enough to you to be able to help."

I shrug. "That's the way it has to be with me."

"I don't agree."

"But—"

His dark eyes dig into mine. "You've never said that you _don't_ feel the same way for me, right?"

"Alfredo I just can't—"

"Right?" he keeps insisting.

"But—"

"Right?"

"Don't do this!" I snap.

"Do what?—get you to admit your feelings for me?"

I stare at him for a few seconds. "I can't be your girlfriend. Just can't."

"If you're scared about what Danila will say, she already told me that she's over the feelings she thought she had for me."

"I know," I murmur. "She told me the same thing."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Just accept what I'm telling you," I burst.

"I deserve to know what's going on with you, don't I? I'm your friend. It breaks my heart to see that you're going through a lot. Please let me help."

At this point my emotions are tornadoing inside of me, so I make a decision—a very, _very_ hard one. I decide to tell him my secret. I don't feel I have much of a choice.

I have to trust him.

He's trustworthy, right?

Justin:

It's Saturday and my eighteenth birthday. The guys promised to come over later with beer to celebrate. My dad just called me to tell me what a loser I am. Maybe he's right. I couldn't keep my wife like he he's been able to keep my mom.

The emotions burst out of me, and I ram my fist into my bedroom wall leaving a gaping hole there.

I didn't think I'd have to spend a birthday without my lovely Lucette. Before we got married, we had celebrated her belated birthday by having dinner at some swanky restaurant. Gosh, it seems so long ago when Lucette and I had been two carefree teens in high school.

My hand is bleeding, so I wash it in the sink. Looking in the mirror, I ask myself if Lucette is thinking about me today. I can't help but to remember the special birthday dinner I had for Lucette. She and I got into a _little_ argument at the restaurant. You know, a lovers spat. But even then, we could feel the power of our love.

Does Lucette remember how I went out of my way to celebrate her birthday even when it had already passed months ago?

Does she remember _my_ birthday?

Chapter 28

Lucette/Araceli:

When I remember what today is, I want to retch. How can I forget the monster's birthday? It's a horrible day for sure. At my belated 17th birthday celebration, he had yelled at me in a restaurant and caused us to get thrown out. He thought I was flirting with the waiter.

Outside, in the car, he started his mind games by furiously questioning why I wanted to ruin the special moment he had planned for me. He harangued me by yelling that I was an ungrateful skank. Even when my birthday had already passed, he had insisted on celebrating it late with me. How dare I flirt with another guy when all he was doing was worshipping my birth?! He wouldn't let me get in a word. I remember feeling scared that he would strike me, but he didn't actually begin hitting me until after our fake marriage.

_But_ my instincts were already telling me what he was capable of.

The signs of his craziness were all there. Why didn't I take my blinders off to see them? Why did I keep telling myself that his fixation for me was love?—that his over-the-top reactions were his demonstration of how much he cared for me?

Mind games, abuse, domination, stalking, obsession— _NOT_ love!

Rabid jealousy, uncontrolled fury, fierce beatings — _NOT LOVE!_

Controlling every aspect of me, raping me when I didn't want him to touch me, telling me he'll kill me and my loved ones if we didn't stay together— _NO, NO, NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT LOVE!!!_

If only I had realized this before I got pregnant. If only I had steered clear of him. If only I had not confused Justin's strong feelings for me for fairytale love.

Fairytale love—HA!!! It belongs in fairytales and not in the heads of swooning girls who go to bed dreaming of guys bringing eternal love to them.

_HA!!!_ I was such a clueless, silly girl thinking that Justin and I would live happily ever after even while he verbally mistreated me. What was I thinking?! Why did it take his physical abuse to make me come to my senses?

_If only I knew then what I know now,_ I tell myself for the umpteenth time.

_But there is no way to change the past—but the now is all mine,_ I tell myself. _I won't ever blind myself to the signs._

A knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts. I already know who it is. I smile as I open the door to Alfredo. Without the threat of Danila showing up anymore, he now calls me beforehand to ask me if he can come over. I lead him to the sofa where he tells me that he woke up this morning with the very strong feeling that he should visit me.

He's right. Today of all days it feels really good to have a friend—an authentic one. The monster's big day—I need companionship so my excruciating memories and jagged thoughts don't explode inside of me.

"It's Justin's birthday," I croak out.

He gathers me in his warm arms. "He's far away from you," Alfredo soothingly murmurs.

It turns out that the other day I had made the right decision in trusting him with my past. He hadn't said anything to anyone about it, and it sure had helped me to tell my twisted tale. Even though I talk to Mrs. Sanchez about it, it feels different speaking to someone my age and of the opposite sex.

He had listened with wide eyes full of horror. I could tell he was bursting at the seams, but he stayed quiet until I finished. I told him all about the clueless girl with mountainous dreams of true love but ended up with deep purple bruises instead.

"Boys don't own girls!" he had snapped. "They can't just beat them up whenever they feel like it!"

I then told Alfredo secrets I hadn't told anybody like about the way I had had to keep talking myself out of suicide. I felt sooo helpless. There were times I came to believe that killing myself would be the only way out.

"I'm so thankful you didn't do it!" he blurted with emotion.

At that point, I told him about some of the times Justin had laid his hands on me. On one particular occasion, we had been fake married for a few weeks when he had slapped me as soon as we got home from the convenience store because he thought I was flirting with the clerk. I didn't know that asking where the milk was constituted flirting! Justin's hand was so heavy and hard that in an instant blood filled my mouth. I had cried out and the monster had told me that I was making too big of a fuss.

"It's only a _little_ blood," Justin had snapped. Then he had left the townhouse apartment to buy me perfume. Like a fool I kept believing him when he'd tell me it would never happen again as long as I didn't provoke him. I soon learned that _provoking_ him meant just about anything depending on his mood. The horrifying images never leave my mind as I keep thinking back over and over again.

The apartment wasn't clean to his specifications like a towel being out of place— _WHACK!_

I didn't ask him about his day— _WHACK!_

I didn't say I love you in the right tone— _WHACK!_

I didn't know how to cook— _WHACK!_

I made the wrong dinner from the cookbook— _WHACK!_

I didn't appreciate him enough— _WHACK!_

The list was endless. Not even the baby inside me had held him back.

Alfredo had been so caring when I had told him the whole story as he is now while holding me. He eyes me with compassion filled eyes.

"Forget his birthday. That dude can't hurt you anymore," he murmurs.

But this is a compassionate lie Alfredo is telling me. Justin can most certainly still hurt me if he finds me. He can still harm me through the nightmare memories I have of him. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the ugliness of his words or the exact feel of his fist crushing into me.

I eye Alfredo. I'm so glad that he accepted that I can only give him friendship. After I told him my horror story, he didn't push the romantic relationship discussion anymore.

It's a huge relief that I still have my best friend.

Justin:

I'm not expecting anyone so when there's a knock on the door I'm surprised. Can it he Rocco with some much needed beer? My heart beats fast when I think about the other person it can be! _Can it be my lovely Lucette?! Has she finally come to her senses? Maybe she lost her keys!_ I rush to the door and swing it open.

My mouth hangs wide open. I don't expect the person standing at my door!

It's unbelievable!

Finally!

Are we back in business?!

It's Ratchet!!!

Chapter 29

Lucette/Araceli:

At school, Chiffon has lost much of her fawning fan club. Alfredo and the Dynamic Trio tell me that it's because of what I had told them.

"You opened their eyes," Alfredo explains.

I don't know if that's the reason Chiffon has lost a lot of her popularity at school, but I do know, however, that it's much more pleasant there without Chiffon's bully-antics. Without so much worship from others, her evil is contained. Without so many of her minions kissing her feet and giving her their power, her own power is limited.

Chiffon, though, has her mind occupied somewhere else and isn't focusing on her loss of status. What I'm about to tell you is unbelievable. Really unbelievable! History is about to repeat itself!

There's a new guy in school.

Good looking tough guy with quite an attitude.

All the girls are swooning over Ray. Remind you of something? I'm sick to my stomach just looking at him and being reminded so much of Justin. Even though Ray doesn't look physically like Justin, Ray is blonde and green eyed while Justin is black haired and blue eyed, the personality is the same. He's in one of my classes and stares at me. I'm disgusted especially after he tells a girl right in front of me that he's an all or nothing guy. Any girl with him will have to give up everything to be with him. He thinks he's impressing me with his silly idea of romance. I roll my eyes. He sees me and chuckles. I groan.

Then Ray proves to me that my instincts about him are correct. When his motorcycle fails to start, his fury explodes. As he kicks his bike with fierce blows, I shake my head. Chiffon and other girls stare at him with fascination as if his violent act is cool.

Chiffon tries everything to get Ray to pay attention to her, but unfortunately it's me he's focusing on. I know he only likes me because I'm probably the only girl in school who doesn't care for him.

Alfredo gets a little jealous. "You like the guy?" he asks. He doesn't shout or smolder flames, but his voice is shaky.

"You kidding me?" I answer, guffawing. "Been there, done that," I grunt.

Nodding, he sighs. "Sorry I even asked. It's really none of my business."

I smile at him. "Maybe not, but please understand that there's no way I'd go out with Ray."

Alfredo grins at me. "Okay, Araceli."

Meanwhile, Anelina's reaction to Ray really bothers me. She moons over him, and he takes advantage that she's a friend of mine by seeking her out when I'm around. He thinks I'll fall for him by getting jealous of him and Anelina.

_Idiot_!

Finally, I've had enough and take her aside. "Anelina, you have to stop getting close to Ray."

"Why?!" she bursts.

"He's not good boyfriend material."

"Are you jealous that he picked me?" she questions, upset. "All the girls in school are."

I shake my head and measure my words carefully. "I promise that I'm _not_ jealous."

"Then why do you want me to get away from him?"

"I knew a guy like him. He had a bad temper like Ray and would hit girls." It's the first time I tell any of the Dynamic Trio about anything to do with Justin but now I feel inclined to.

"Look, Araceli, just because you knew a jerk doesn't mean that Ray is anything like that," she asserts. "I'm sure Ray is _nothing_ like this guy you're talking about."

No matter what I say she won't listen. I know the act—a lot of girls do it to defend what they think is one-time only love. To compound the problem the other two in the Dynamic Trio think it's awesome that Ray is paying so much attention to Anelina. They can't believe her luck. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'll for sure be at the wakeup call making certain Anelina doesn't ignore it like I once did.

Justin:

The freak is standing at my door!

"Are you just going to keep staring at me or are you going to invite me in?!" Ratchet snaps. I lead him to my sofa as I try to get out of my surprised stupor.

"You're out of the hospital," I mutter.

He guffaws. "Brilliant deduction, pinhead."

"I thought you had some time to go."

"Do you want me to keep going with the investigation or not?" he retorts.

"Of course I do!"

"Then stop trying to get me back into the hospital. We've got a lot of work to do, and I'm going to find Lucette if it's the last thing I do, kid!"

Chapter 30

Lucette/Araceli:

Alfredo comes to my home to tell me how worried he's about Anelina. He tells me he's personally witnessed some anger issues from Ray.

"You're so right about him, Araceli."

I nod, wishing I hadn't been right about Ray, that he's actually nothing like Justin. "Yeah."

"The other day he started yelling at a girl because she accidentally tripped him. He got so furious that he kicked the dirt!"

"Next time it might not be the dirt he takes his anger out on," I murmur.

"I've been trying to stay close to Anelina—sometimes with her not knowing I'm around. But then the other day she caught me and accused me of stalking her!"

I groan. "Not good!"

"I hope you know that I'm not a stalker or anything like that. I was just trying to stay close to Anelina in case she needed me."

I smile. "Alfredo, thanks for caring."

He blushes. "I'm not going to give up on getting her to come to her senses, though."

"What are you planning?"

A knock on the door interrupts us. "An intervention," he announces.

"What?" I ask moving towards the door. When I open it the Dynamic Trio is there. Now I know what Alfredo means by an intervention. We sit in the living room as the Sanchezes give us some privacy by watching TV in their room. They have no idea what we're going to talk about, but they leave us alone nonetheless.

Anelina eyes Alfredo with suspicion. She knows something's up. The other two seem puzzled.

"Why did you tell us to meet you here, Alfredo?" questions Danila.

"We need to talk about the situation with Ray," he blurts. _He sure knows how to get to the point,_ I tell myself.

Anelina's face immediately turns defensive. "What about him?" she bursts, ice in her voice.

"He's not a good guy!" This time it's my turn to blurt.

"How do you know that, Araceli?" questions Danila.

"I just do," I murmur.

"How do you know that you're not wrong!" cries Anelina, upset.

"I don't," I mutter, "but he shows signs of violence."

"Guys are like that," asserts Emily. "They're more aggressive than we are, right, Alfredo?"

I jump in. "Alfredo is a gentleman," I point out. "He would never get aggressive with a girl!"

Alfredo eyes me with surprise. "I wouldn't," he asserts. "No guy should."

Anelina shoots up off the sofa. "I don't want to listen to this anymore. I'm not even dating Ray, so get off my back."

"You're not dating him, _yet_ ," I mention.

"My life is my own business," Anelina mutters, heading to the door. I jump up and stand in front of her before she steps out of the house.

"Just listen please," I implore. "If he ever gets aggressive for any reason or tells you ugly things, please remember what I'm saying about him."

After she leaves, Danila and Emily have to leave too. They're also fighting what Alfredo and I are saying about Ray. When the door closes behind them, Alfredo turns to me with an upset face.

"That was a disaster," he murmurs miserably.

"At least we tried," I tell him.

"We'll just have to keep an eye on Ray."

I sigh. "I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've decided to talk to her parents about this. I'll never forgive myself if something happens to her."

He nods. "I'll go with you if you want."

"Yeah, that'll be good."

"We can't sit back and do nothing."

"Right," he states.

Since he fidgets and looks towards the door with a strange expression, I ask him if he has to leave too. He tells me he'd like to stay a little longer. He looks like he's got much on his mind. In all honesty I'm glad he doesn't have to leave yet. I really like his company.

"I've got something I need to talk to you about," he says uncomfortably.

I'm immediately curious. "What?"

"Please just consider it."

I have to confess my curiosity is pricking me. "Consider what?"

"Prom."

"Prom?"

"Would you go with me?" he blurts. "As friends, of course."

Justin:

The freak is back on the job! I couldn't be happier. Ratchet told me that it was best to retrace his steps. He's gone back to checking on the Nuñezes to see if they're in contact with their daughter. They're still in Europe but you never know. Ratchet also makes me go through Lucette's days, acquaintances, and activities.

"Maybe we missed something last time," he grunts.

I'm so close to getting my lovely Lucette back! I just know it!

Chapter 31

Lucette/Araceli:

I'm actually thrilled that Alfredo asked me to the prom. After fake marrying the monster and leaving school, I had thought I would never get to go.

_Here's to second chances,_ I tell myself.

When Ray overhears me telling Anelina during lunch break about my prom plans, he starts yelling at me. He can't understand what I see in Alfredo. I really regret that at the moment Alfredo is in the library. I guess that's why the coward is confronting me at this exact moment. Ray lets me have it by tearing into me, making fun of me, and snarling really ugly remarks about Alfredo. I just stare at him shocked and freaking out. It's like his face morphs into Justin's and I do what I always did—freeze in total fear. Anelina is totally shocked as she witnesses Ray's abusive fury.

"Ray, stop it!" she snaps, noticing my anguished face.

Then he turns his rage towards her. Many colorful profanities come out of his mouth directed at Anelina. I somewhat get out of my stupor and demand for him to stop abusing her. Then he turns his verbal attack back on me. Fortunately, a teacher breaks it up. Ray is put on suspension for a week.

As it happens, Alfredo and I don't have to go talk to Anelina's parents after all. Luckily, Ray had dug his own grave when it came to Anelina, and she apologizes to both Alfredo and me for not having believed us about Ray.

I've got to say at this point that I have to give Anelina a lot of credit. You see, if something like this had happened to Justin and me, I probably would've found a way of excusing him. Anelina will have none of that. I wish I had snapped out of my crush on an abusive jerk like Anelina has, but as I've said before—no use trying to change the past.

I've only got the present. _And_ in the present there's the prom.

Really looking forward to it!

Justin:

Ratchet assures me that my lovely Lucette is not in contact with her parents. I'm a little deflated over it. I was hoping Ratchet could figure out where she was through her parents.

He's even hired someone to casually strike up a friendship with her cousin Lynette who is often loose jawed. Lynette asserted that no one knows where her cousin is. She, of course, was gleeful about it since she wanted Lucette's parents all to herself. She did say, however, that the Nuñezes were about to return from Europe and go to the police since they hadn't heard anything from their daughter and were really worried. In fact, they're starting to question my hand in Lucette's disappearance.

Ugg!!! As if I would ever hurt my lovely Lucette!

Once they arrive, I brace myself for a talk with the cops. Fortunately, the Nuñezes change their minds about turning me over to the police when they receive a snail mail letter from my wife. It says, in Lucette's own handwriting, that she's fine and that to please not look for her. The letter had been postmarked from San Antonio, so either she's still in the city or has an accomplice mailing her letters.

Ratchet breaks into the Nuñez mansion, finds the letter, and is investigating where it came from. It isn't much but at least it's something.

Lynette asserts that the Nuñezes strongly suspect that Lucette is trying to get away from me. They think I'm violent because of the time I smashed the vase in their home.

I'm still really pissed off at Ramaldi for having confused Lynette with Lucette!

Now my in-laws are suspicious of me when we should be working together to find their daughter!

Stupid Ramaldi! I'm so glad I left the stabbed fish on his doorstep!

Chapter 32

Lucette/Araceli:

When Mrs. Sanchez finds out I'm going to the prom, she takes to making me a dress. I'm so relieved because that was one of the things I was worried about. _What do I do for a dress?_ I kept telling myself. In the past it wouldn't have even been a thought. My parents' money would've bought me any dress I wanted, but I, of course, couldn't ask the Sanchezes to make that expenditure. But Mrs. Sanchez happily insists on sewing me a dress.

For the umpteenth time, I chuckle when I think about how much my life has changed in under a year. Heck!—how much I myself have transformed! The spoiled brat I used to be would've never imagined wearing a homemade dress ever—especially one to the prom. She would've gone to Paris to find the most exclusive dress and then bragged about it to her envious followers.

Ugg!

I'll say it again!—I'm sooo glad I'm not her anymore.

As Mrs. Sanchez lovingly sews my dress on her sewing machine, I sit close to her bed. She chatters and I smile, listening to her. She tells me not to worry because she knows exactly what she's doing. She's already sewn quite a few beautiful dresses for her foster daughters, family, and friends. As it turns out, this year I'm the only one she's making a dress for. I feel honored. She tells me she _loooves_ making prom dresses, so she's thrilled to be sewing one for me.

I gaze at her loving fingers putting together the dress from the pattern and fabric I had chosen. She's such an expert seamstress that she tells me we can make changes to the dress to make it unique and totally mine. I make a few shy suggestions, and she runs with them.

When it's finished, I try on the radiantly shimmery, elegantly poufy, pink dress. I can honestly tell you that I'm every bit as enthralled with this dress as any of the Paris creations costing an arm and a leg I had purchased in the past. In fact, I adore this dress even more since it's a lot more personal and was made by a lady I've grown to love.

_This is such a precious moment,_ I tell myself as I twirl in the dress while trying it on as Mrs. Sanchez chuckles. She tells me she'll make the final alterations within the next few days.

Getting ready for the prom, I can't help but think about my parents. I try not to dwell on how much I miss them and how they would've loved to participate in prom rituals. My mom would've treasured to have helped me pick out the dress and accessories, and my dad would've appreciated recording what he could of the night like me coming down the stairs and my date pinning the corsage on me.

A while back, I had sent Alejo a letter for my parents, and he had taken it out of the envelope to resend to them to the San Antonio address. Even if they were still in Europe, my father had arranged it for them to still get all their mail. I was terrified they'd end up joining with Justin in finding me or getting the police in on it. After that, I had sent them, via Alejo again, an audio recording telling them how much I missed them and how necessary it was for them not to look for me. I pleaded that they keep the recording a total secret even from Lynette and to either dispose of it or put it in the safe. The recording was too personal, and I only wanted my parents knowing about it.

The snail mail letter I didn't mind people knowing about since the postmark would only lead to San Antonio and away from El Paso in case Justin was looking for me. My stomach cramps when I think about this because I'm pretty sure he _is_ looking for me.

The monster considers me his possession, as if a human being has a right to own another one! How completely awful and against what we humans should be to one another is what slavery entails. Wrong is wrong! You study slavery in class and read about it in the textbooks, but _experiencing_ someone taking ownership of your freedom really cuts into every fiber of your being. Slices right through!

I shut out those thoughts in order not to have my prom night ruined. Justin had already messed up my life so much. I refuse to let him take _all_ of my moments. Those are _my_ moments. No matter how much he feels that my life is his, he's wrong. His life is his own as my life is mine.

I hear a knock on the door. _It must be Alfredo,_ I say to myself, a flutter in my stomach. Glancing in the mirror, I make certain the little make up I had applied to my face wasn't smeared and that the curls in my hair were in place. Walking down the stairs, it's like a common scene in a movie with the boy, Alfredo, gazing at me coming down the stairs.

"Wow!" he bursts.

I smile at him. He looks pretty _wow_ himself with a black tux. Mr. Sanchez is recording us on his phone. Mrs. Sanchez has tears in her eyes. Alfredo carefully and nervously pins a corsage of daffodils on me. I'm touched that he remembered I had mentioned once that daffodils were my favorite flowers.

When we step outside, he starts apologizing profusely. "Sorry, sorry so much, Araceli. I couldn't afford a limo," he mutters miserably.

I happen to know that he works part time for his cousin's plumbing business but uses most of the money he earns to help his parents since they don't earn much money and barely make ends meet. Truthfully, I'd rather him not waste his much needed money on a limo. His old Pontiac is fine with me.

"Don't worry," I assure, "I've been in a limo and the experience is overrated."

He groans. "You don't have to say that to make me feel better."

"I'm not," I shoot back. "The company you keep is much more important than the ride."

"You've been through so much. I just wanted this night to be memorable for you."

My eyes go straight into his. "Alfredo, stop worrying about stupid stuff like limos and crap like that. I've already had all that expensive junk and you know what? From now on I want my memories filled with people and experiences that come from the heart and not the pocketbook."

"That's a great thing to say," he murmurs, smiling.

"I mean it. Now, let's get going before we miss the prom talking about how memorable it should be."

Alfredo chuckles as we climb into his car. Before he turns on the ignition he looks my way. I smile at him wondering what he's going to tell me—maybe something else about limos.

"From the first time I saw you at your party, I thought you were so gorgeous. I mean beautiful in the way that what you have inside—smarts, niceness, and caring come flooding out, making your already pretty outside even more stunning."

"Thanks," I murmur. The guy really knows how to pay a compliment, right?

"I just want to tell you something about tonight."

"What?" I question with curiosity.

"Tonight you're a goddess."

I'm stunned at such a compliment. We're quiet for the rest of the ride to the prom. Even though I don't consider myself anywhere near being a goddess, his words feel very special to me. Justin had always called me lovely Lucette, but the fact that he thought I was beautiful became a huge burden for obvious reasons. There were times I thought about damaging my face to see if he would leave me, but then I realized he would probably make good on his threat of killing himself and me.

Alfredo isn't anything like the monster. His compliments really mean something. With an abrupt start I realize I'm in the danger area—having strong romantic feelings for Alfredo. _Be careful_ , I tell myself.

At the prom, we start dancing right away. The Dynamic Trio is there with boys who are friends like I'm doing with Alfredo. Yet, their vibe is different than the one between Alfredo and me. The trio and their dates are ribbing one another with corny jokes and commenting on how silly the ritual of prom is. Alfredo and I keep staring into one another's eyes like characters in a bad movie that you usually make fun of.

As the guys get us some punch, the trio immediately starts in on me. "You and Alfredo are getting pretty cozy," comments Anelina slyly. Ever since the incident with Ray had ended, we had gone back to being the best of friends to my relief.

"Just friends," I shoot out.

Danila shrugs. "Yeah, _right!_ "

"It's the truth!" I rush.

"Sounds to me like you're trying to convince yourself that your feelings for Alfredo aren't real," comments Emily. "Just saying, girl friend."

I groan. "I know the three of you would love for Alfredo and me to get together but—"

"Yeah, we would," Danila bursts. "The both of you are perfect together."

Anelina nods. "You're the only one who doesn't see it."

"You've got total love staring at you and you're pushing it away," remarks Emily matter-of-factly.

What they don't know is that I had once thought I had total love in my open, anxious hands. Then it had exploded, crashing to the ground. I just don't trust myself with my feelings towards guys anymore.

When Alfredo returns with my punch, I take a huge gulp. All that talk of romance has dried my mouth, bringing out my parched insides because that's what my passionate emotions feel like to me—an endless dry desert of confusion, fear, and bruises lurking in the mesquite trees. Alfredo and I start dancing again, a quiet ballad. As I feel his arms around me and his light breath on my neck, I can't help but think about the time he had kissed me.

The day after the kiss only one thought had occupied my head. _Did I love the kiss?_ Now I realize that it was a silly question because I had tried very hard to convince myself that I hadn't cared all that much for the smooch.

_Convinced_ myself.

I realize that if I hadn't loved the kiss then I wouldn't have had to convince myself of anything. I just wouldn't have gotten so into it period.

After the slow dance, Alfredo asks me if I want to step outside for a second. I quickly agree. It seems my mind is getting hazy. Maybe his is too. Prom is such a heady experience. Fresh air will do us some good.

As we go towards the doors of the school auditorium, a familiar voice cuts into me.

"Interesting dress," Chiffon's voice smirks. "I got mine at a boutique."

I chuckle as I turn to face her. "How nice for you," I shoot back. Then I do a double take. Alfredo does the same. We both realize that her date is a sneering Ray. I guess his suspension is over.

"Chiffon baby, your dress puts all others to shame," Ray declares.

"Yeah, right!" Alfredo snipes. Ray glares at him.

"Where did you get your dress, Araceli?" Chiffon questions, eyeing my clothes as if they were rags.

"It was made for me," I burst proudly.

"A homemade dress!" she smirks, laughing.

"Homemade!" Ray guffaws, cackling.

I nod cheerfully. "Yeah, you'd better believe it."

"It's almost as beautiful as she is," Alfredo jumps in.

"How can you be so proud of some poor people's dress?" Chiffon questions me furiously.

"Really, Chiffon, I could care less what you think of my dress. You can hate on it all you want, but your opinion is _so_ not important to me."

Chiffon wrathfully glares at me, not knowing what to say. No matter how much she tries to insult me I don't take her bait and it infuriates her. I'm not going to stop loving my dress because of her. I'm not going to feel ashamed of what I'm wearing because of her. I'm not going to let her ruin my evening.

As I said before, she's nobody to me—just a fly I swat away.

I turn to Alfredo, "Let's go outside, okay?"

"Yeah, it's getting pretty disgusting in here," he announces, glaring at both Chiffon and Ray.

They scowl at us as Alfredo and I go through the double doors to the outside. The fresh air hits us. We sit on a bench and just enjoy the outdoors—the majestic trees, the sparkling stars, and the vibrant half-moon.

"You sure know how to handle Chiffon," Alfredo comments, chuckling.

"Bullies like her feed off of making others feel bad. I don't let her do it, and it freaks her out."

"Yeah, she was really freaked out."

"I just can't believe she came to the prom with Ray," I burst.

"I know."

My eyes glaze over unhappily. "She really doesn't know what she's in for with him," I murmur. "I don't even wish on her what happened to me."

"That's why you're such a good person."

"Thanks, Alfredo. You're the best of friends."

"I need you to know something," he asserts.

"What?"

"I know you've been through a lot," he murmurs, "and that you may never be ready for a boyfriend but know that you'll always have me as a friend. Don't ever worry about losing me even if you never feel the same way for me as I feel for you. Being a friend to an awesome person like you is an honor."

At that moment I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I don't just want to be Alfredo's friend. I know that he's worth me working through my fears, that I can't let Justin keep manipulating my life.

Grabbing him, I plant my lips on his. Startled at first, he takes a few seconds to respond to me.

I'm on a cloud.

He briefly disengages. "I really care for you. Care for you with all my heart. Please know that."

We go back to kissing.

Justin:

"Think back, kid," Ratchet demands. "Have you told me everything you know about Lucette?"

"Yeah!" I snap. Why are we going over this again? We had covered this when I had first hired him.

"You sure?"

"Yessss!!!"

Chapter 33

Lucette/Araceli:

A bloodcurdling scream suddenly fills the air.

"What's that?!" I question, disengaging from the kiss with Alfredo. The noise coming from inside the school auditorium of shocked yells still reverberates in my ears. Alfredo eyes me with complete puzzlement. We don't have to say anything as we rush back inside the building to see what's happening.

I can't believe what I see when I get there! Blood all over the place. Ray on the floor with a gushing wound. A bloody pocketknife next to him on the floor. Chiffon sobbing and trying to wake him up from his unconscious state—her gown a mess of bright red stains all over. Another boy yelling, "He made me do it!"

Violence. Screams. Altered emotions. Everything starts going dark for me.

I pass out.

When my eyes flutter open, I'm at the Sanchez home. I'm so relieved to be in my room. _I must've had a nightmare,_ I say to myself. But then I notice my prom dress.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Sanchez questions anxiously. Mr. Sanchez is standing next to her and looking equally as worried.

"Thank goodness you're awake," bursts Alfredo, nearing me.

"What happened?" I ask, stumbling on my words.

"You fainted at the prom," Alfredo explains.

Remembering what I last saw before blacking out, I strongly wince. "What happened at the prom?!" I question as I anxiously sit up.

Mrs. Sanchez shakes her head. "Get some more rest, and then we'll tell you."

"Tell me _now_ ," I plead. "I need to know before the pictures in my head explode."

Mr. Sanchez nods. "Alfredo, tell her."

Alfredo takes a huge gulp before speaking. "Ray got in a huge fight with Daryl Mayer."

"Why?" I croak out.

"Ray said Daryl was flirting with Chiffon."

I can tell that Alfredo is having a very hard time telling me about it, but I need to know the full story, so I keep pushing him. "Then what happened?"

Alfredo lets out a long breath. "Ray started attacking Daryl. Ray was going crazy!"

"What happened next?" I murmur, still pushing him.

Alfredo takes a breath before answering. "Daryl pulled out a pocketknife and plunged it into Ray."

I gulp before asking the next question. "How's Ray?"

"He's dead."

Justin:

Ratchet keeps pushing me! The freak calls me every few days to bug me! I'm completely losing my patience!

"Kid, you sure you haven't remembered anything else about Lucette?"

"No, no, no!"

"Kid—"

"I've already told you everything I know!" I snap. "Get off my back!"

Chapter 34

Lucette/Araceli:

I ask everyone in my bedroom to please give me some space. I really need breathing room after finding out what happened at the prom. Once they leave, I start going over the night again. What a night! Alfredo had also told me that Chiffon had gotten hurt and was in the hospital. She wasn't in critical condition or anything like that, but Ray had savagely slapped her before he went for Daryl.

I have to admit that my nerves are stretched to their limit. The prom tragedy brought everything back to me. In my head, I see the monster beating me over and over again.

I barely sleep the night even with the over the counter sleeping pills Mrs. Sanchez had the foresight to give me.

But I have nightmares _all_ night long.

I'm so relieved it's Sunday the next day and that I don't have to go to school. I probably would've had to say home. The Dynamic Trio visits to see if I'm okay. If they wonder why I'm freaking out so much about something that didn't happen to me, they keep quiet. I guess my grief stricken face is enough to stop any inopportune questions from them. After only a few minutes, Mrs. Sanchez tells them to give me some space and visit with me another day.

I'm really relieved she did that to tell you the truth. I need time alone to get myself together.

The person I really dread seeing is Alfredo. I keep thinking about the kiss last night and it keeps merging with the violence that happened right after. When he stops by, my insides get all twisted. Mrs. Sanchez tells him not to take too long with me. We're in my bedroom. He tries to get closer and I keep moving away from him until he ends up sitting on my trunk at the foot of my bed and me at the vanity table chair.

He eyes me carefully with concern. "How are you today, Araceli?"

"Fine," I blurt.

He groans. "You don't have to pretend you're fine with me. What happened yesterday must've really taken it out of you."

"I don't want to talk about it."

He groans again. "Okay, if you're not ready to talk then I respect your feelings."

"Stop being such a nice guy!" I burst.

"What?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and I think we need to stay away from one another for a while," I blurt.

His startled eyes stare at me. "What?"

"We need time away from one another?"

"Why?!" he croaks out.

"I shouldn't have kissed you yesterday. I'm just so screwed up, Alfredo," I mutter. "You have no idea what's going on inside me!"

"Don't do that, Araceli," he murmurs. "Don't shut me out of your life."

"I have to."

Alfredo takes in a deep breath. "The kiss has you freaked out, doesn't it?"

"The kiss should've never happened."

Let's forget the kiss," he shoots back. "We'll be friends like always."

"No, Alfredo," I insist adamantly. "I need to stay away from you for a while."

Justin:

Ratchet just doesn't give up. A few days after the last time he had asked me about remembering something else about Lucette, he calls me _AGAIN_!

"What do you want from me?!" I snap, my voice at its most frustrated.

"Kid, just think back to something you might've forgotten."

"I'd never forget something about my wife!" I bellow.

"Are you sure you knew who her friends were?"

"Lucette didn't have any friends!" I insist. "She had me! She didn't need any other people in her life but me!"

Ratchet grunts. "Stop yelling at me, pinhead," he snarls, between his teeth.

"Sorry."

"I'm just trying to find her, kid."

"I know," I mumble. "Sorry."

"You've told me where she shopped, where she bought groceries, and which places the two of you frequented. Are you sure you knew _all_ her activities?"

"I knew everything about her."

"She had no other activities but the ones you told me about?"

I sigh. "No, she was pretty predictable. She'd do the same things every day except when we went grocery shopping, or she went to the laundromat. She—"

"Laundromat?!"

"Our clothes had to get washed somehow," I retort.

"You never told me that she'd go to a laundromat!" Ratchet snaps.

I roll my eyes. "Why is that important?"

"Kid, I don't know if it's important or not, but it's a new avenue to investigate."

I snort. "Yeah, whatever."

Chapter 35

Lucette/Araceli:

I really feel bad about Alfredo—not just for him but for me too. He's staying away from me and I sure do miss him. Once in a while I catch him staring at me but as soon as my eyes catch him, he shifts his sight somewhere else. He looks as miserable as I am.

At school, everybody keeps talking about the tragedy at the prom. Chiffon is already out of the hospital, but her parents think it's best if she doesn't come back to school. She's pretty traumatized to say the least. Instead, she'll be homeschooled for the remainder of senior year. Rumor has it that she sits in her room, barely talking to anyone, and refusing to go out at all. She didn't even go to Ray's funeral. Her parents already hired a psychiatrist for her.

Daryl Mayer is out on bond and waiting for trial. He isn't coming back to school either. He's another one that is in total freak out mode—not that I blame him. After all, he did kill someone. Several students have already stepped forward and said it was self-defense. Several recordings of the night have hit the internet. I'm beside myself with worry that Justin will see me in one of them. I make myself look through all of the footages, sick to my stomach at the viciousness I'm forcing myself to watch. I'm relieved, though, that I'm not in any of the horrifying recordings.

The principal has a general meeting for the entire student body to talk about violence. He encourages those who were affected by prom night to get professional help from the counselors he's brought in. I understand that quite a few students are taking advantage of this, including the Dynamic Trio. They ask me if I'm going to get counseling. I decline. I'm not sure these types of therapists are actually equipped to deal with all my issues, and I've got a secret I need to keep. I had already made a mistake by telling Alfredo. I won't make that mistake again.

I wince thinking about him.

At home, the Sanchezes have a visitor. It's a former foster child of theirs. As I said before, this is a common occurrence in their home.

I'm immediately taken in by the twenty-something year old young woman. Jenny smiles a lot and keeps telling the Sanchezes what they meant to her. She's about to graduate from college at the top of her class.

Mrs. Sanchez asks me for a private talk in my room. I'm surprised she's leaving her guest alone to speak to me. Concerned, I step into my room with her trailing me.

"I asked Jenny to come," blurts Mrs. Sanchez. "She didn't just drop by."

My eyebrows shoot up. "She didn't?"

"You won't talk to a counselor at school," states Mrs. Sanchez. "Will you talk to Jenny?"

"Talk to Jenny?" I question, puzzled.

"Just trust me."

"Mrs. Sanchez, I really appreciate what you do for me, but I'm okay. Really."

"Jenny was physically abused by her parents. She knows about trying to climb mountains with all kinds of scars eating at you."

"Does she know about me?"

"I just told her you had suffered emotional and physical abuse. I didn't give her any details because it's your story to tell if you wish."

"Thanks for leaving it up to me," I assert, "but—"

"Araceli, just give her a chance. Talk to her for just a few minutes and see if it's helping you. If not, we'll just thank her for coming and end it there, okay?"

I just can't say no to Mrs. Sanchez. She looks at me with such care and concern that I have to reciprocate to such kindness. "Okay," I say, sighing.

She calls Jenny in and discreetly steps out of the room to give us some privacy. The moment is awkward. I don't know how to start. Luckily, she starts the conversation by telling me she heard about what happened on prom night.

I can still clearly picture Daryl's dead and bleeding body on the ground. "It was horrible for sure," I state, my voice shaky.

Jenny tells me that she grew up with a lot of violence in her home. Her parents were alcoholics and would become meaner and meaner with each drink they guzzled. The emotional abuse would explode with them calling her things like worthless, ugly, and degenerate. Then the physical abuse would start with them slapping, punching, or putting out cigarettes on her. Jenny showed me the scars still on her skin.

The only thing she was grateful for was that her parents couldn't have more children to abuse, that she was alone in this nightmare. At twelve-years-old a caring teacher noticed her bruises and the authorities were called. She was placed with the Sanchezes who greeted her with wide open arms.

At first, it was very difficult for Jenny to trusts adults, but little by little the Sanchezes managed to get through her wall of ice. A few years later, she still found the scars of the heart difficult to completely heal—even with such amazing people like the Sanchezes nurturing and loving her. When she became of age to date, she started going out with jerks who would abuse her.

"Mrs. Sanchez made me see that all I was doing was going toward the familiar. Abuse was familiar to me!—so I looked for it in relationships. That's the picture I had in my head of how people in love acted. She urged me to change the picture in my head, to tell myself that I didn't deserve to be abused. I deserve better and so do you, Araceli."

Tears start flowing from my eyes. "I deserve better?"

"YES!!! Mrs. Sanchez made me see that my parents' abuse was about them and not about me. Those names they called me are not who I am or even who I was. Those smacks they gave me weren't because I deserved them. They were because the two people who should've loved me and taken care of me were messed up and _sooo_ wrong. After I realized this I stopped with the abusive boyfriends. I realized I had to love myself enough to protect myself, enough to demand better for myself."

I'm so overwhelmed with emotion that I can't speak. All I can do is try to find equilibrium as my mind whirls like a tornado. Just then I realize how much Justin had played with my psyche—damaging the way I feel about myself. He had worked hard at ingraining doubts about what I deserved in my head. Justin had told me so many times that I was nothing without him, that I needed him just to be, and that I deserved those blows he gave me.

_I DESERVE BETTER!_ Those three words keep exploding in my head as my tears flood out.

"Do you have a boyfriend now?" I question, my voice cracking.

Jenny smiles. "He's the best."

"But isn't it hard to be in a relationship with the scars of abuse still inside your heart?"

Jenny nods. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it doesn't get hard sometimes, but I'm lucky to have a guy who's patient and understanding. He talks instead of using his fists. We take it one day at a time. He's my best friend, so it's easy to resort to our friendship when things get sticky."

"Best friend?" I murmur.

"Yeah!" Jenny blurts enthusiastically. "I think they make the best boyfriends!"

Justin:

While I'm at work and have my phone off, Ratchet leaves me a message. I listen to my messages during my break and absolutely freak. He thinks he's found something! I immediately call him.

"Listen, kid, according to the laundromat supervisor, your wife seemed to have had a friend there."

"A friend?" I question, startled that Lucette had never told me about her laundromat friend.

"His name is Alejo."

Chapter 36

Lucette/Araceli:

I have to admit that the talk with Jenny did me a world of good. I feel lighter as if she helped me with the heavy burden of feeling bad about myself. I'm even breathing better. I profusely thank her.

After Jenny leaves, I start re-thinking my position on Alfredo. He's such a good, understanding, and compassionate guy. He knows about me and has kept my secret. He's not scared off!

The Dynamic Trio had told me a few days ago about how lost he seemed, how upset with our break-up. My heart constrains when I think, _I did that to him and all he ever did was care about me._

I tell Mrs. Sanchez about my thoughts. She listens compassionately as I tell her how much I care for Alfredo and regret having hurt him.

"I don't know how to tell him what's in my heart," I tell Mrs. Sanchez, teary eyed. Even if it's probably too late for us, I still want to tell him how sorry I am. He deserves my apologies."

"Write him a letter," she suggests. "Not an email but an old fashioned letter with your handwriting."

I smile and thank her. What a great solution, so I grab a pen and some paper. It takes me a while and a whole bunch of crumbled sheets to say the right things, the words stuck in my heart. I tell him what an amazing guy he is and how regretful I am that I didn't appreciate him more. I tell him how difficult it's for me to trust after what I've been through. I tell him that I know it's probably too late for us and that he deserves the best, to be loved completely.

When I finish with the letter, I give it to Danila to give to him. She's excited I'm writing to him.

"This is sooo romantic," she gushes.

Justin:

Nasty bile rises inside of me. "Alejo?!!!" I blurt into my cell phone.

"Kid, don't get your panties in a wad," Ratchet mutters.

"My wife was cheating on me?!!!" I'm glad I'm taking my break in my car, so no one is listening to me freak.

"The laundromat supervisor said he didn't see anything amorous between them."

"You sure?!" I snap.

Ratchet sighs a heavy, impatient breath. "Yes."

"But—"

"The supervisor didn't see any kissing, holding of hands, or—"

"Get me that idiot's address!" I burst, fury exploding inside of me. "I'll teach that Alejo a thing or two about trying to get it on with another guy's wife!"

"Kid, get yourself together!" Ratchet demands. "Aren't you listening to me?"

"Why was he talking to my Lucette if he wasn't trying to get in her pants?" I snarl, the bile from my stomach now in my mouth.

"That's what you're paying me to find out. The supervisor told me the days Alejo is usually at the laundromat, so I'll be finding out what he had to do with Lucette."

"When is he at the laundromat?" I demand to know, my hand in a fist.

"Pinhead, don't even think about confronting this guy!!!" Ratchet furiously declares.

"But—"

"Do you want to find Lucette or beat up some guy you have no idea about?"

"But—"

"Kid, do you want to find your wife or not?"

"Yes!" I blurt, deflated.

"Okay, then. Let me do my job."

I sigh. "Okay."

Chapter 37

Lucette/Araceli:

I impatiently wait to hear from Alfredo. I'm well aware that he may be so upset with me that he doesn't want to respond to my letter.

All I can do is wait.

Danila told me that when she handed him the letter, his face seemed very surprised when she said it was from me. He then told her he'd read it in private, disappointing her. She wanted to see his face as he read it and report back to me.

Let me repeat, all I can do is wait.

In the meantime I get a pleasant call from Alejo. He calls me to see how I'm doing. "Good," I say and I mean it. With the circumstances being what they are, I'd say I'm doing pretty well. Even with this situation with Alfredo at least I'm far away from Justin.

I'm so very grateful to Alejo. You can't imagine! I'm thankful every day for when I stepped into that laundromat and Alejo, noticing my black eye, started talking to me about the battered women's shelter he worked for. I wasn't ready to leave Justin yet, but then the miscarriage happened and I got the letter from the judge.

Dr. Phil's magic words rang in my ears—no guy ever has the right to lay a hand on a gal in anger, and that a day comes when you can right what's wrong in your life.

Fortunately Alejo gave me his card to contact him if I changed my mind. I realized that Justin was going to kill me at the rate he was going! I could tell by the wild, fiery expression on his face the day he caused me to fall on the stairs that I had reached the end of my road. I had never seen him that crazy with raging fury.

_Lucky Lucette wasn't at all lucky anymore. I have to make my own luck,_ I murmured to myself as I took out Alejo's card from the special hiding place I kept it in. Back when I was with my parents I had gotten suitcases with special hidden compartments because my parents were paranoid about unscrupulous airline employees. We used to take a lot of trips.

I had kept those suitcases and that's where I'd hide what I needed to hide from Justin since he'd frequently go through my stuff, especially my purse. He'd count every cent I had and would insist on knowing what I was spending to the last penny. You just can't imagine the stress I'd go through if I happened to have misplaced or even lost a sole quarter.

It was in one of those special suitcases that I hid Alejo's card and also the letter from the judge saying Justin and I weren't married after all. I had been trembling when I had called Alejo to ask for help. He was nothing but kind. The first time he approached me at the laundromat I just about freaked. If Justin got wind of a guy coming up to me, he'd go ballistic! He wouldn't listen to reason! He'd say I was flirting with the guy!

The thing was that Justin would just show up out of the blue where I was at to spy on me. For all I knew, he'd be popping in any minute. The only thing I was grateful for was that the washing machines I had chosen were in a discreet corner and couldn't be seen from the many windows at the front of the laundromat. In other words, if Justin was spying on me from the outside, he wouldn't be able to see me talking to the stranger but still, what if he came in?!!!

I quickly told Alejo to please not speak to me or be anywhere near me. But Alejo seemed to guess at why I was freaking out. He eyed the door and told me that if any person stepped into the laundromat, he'd pretend he was checking up on his laundry drying in dryers close to the machines I had chosen instead of talking to me. I told him that I still didn't want to risk it.

"I understand," he murmured kindly. "Let me just tell you that you don't have to live like this. Live in fear all the time. You need to get away from that person who gave you the black eye—"

"I fell down," I rushed.

He groaned. "This is the third time I've seen you in here with terrible bruises. I'm pretty sure that someone gave them to you and they're not due to you being clumsy. Let me just tell you that there's help for you." He pulled out his card. "I work at a battered women's shelter. It's an awesome place full of caring people. Do something for yourself before it's too late. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"That _he_ might kill me," I murmured, my voice shaky.

"Right," he muttered. "You're too valuable to be someone's punching bag."

Alejo had moved away from me then, but not before he made certain I took his card while he said, "You can contact us any time night or day. We're there for you."

I had sat in my corner and discretely rubbed the hot tears from my eyes. Could it be that someone really understood what I was going through? I remembered what the lady at the grocery store parking lot had told me about leaving the monster. She had understood what I was going through too. Maybe there were some compassionate and caring people in this world.

I'd think about Alejo's words quite a bit. I'd take out his card when Justin wasn't around and stare at it while wanting to dial the number so bad. But I was sooo afraid. A tornado would form in my brain and I would tell myself that Justin had promised to find me wherever I was if one day we couldn't be together. There was no getting away from him!

Well actually, maybe one.

The casket.

I'm ashamed to say that there were times I'd really consider that casket. I'd consider what it would be like to not live under such awful conditions. To not live at all.

_But_ after almost dying in the hospital, I realized I really didn't want to die. It was true that I didn't want to live like this, but I didn't want to take my last breath either.

Wasn't it enough that my baby had died? Thanks to Justin I had had a miscarriage.

A few weeks later, I called Alejo. I didn't think he'd remember me but he did. He immediately had me speak to a counselor. The rest is history.

Asking for help from the battered women's shelter is the best decision I've ever made. I never realized how truly mega-horrifying my situation was until I got away from it. While I was with Justin it was like a cloud of denial had grown in my head. I mean, I knew I was in a terrible situation for sure, but I had almost forgotten freedom and the good things in life, so I became a zombie of sorts barely existing with my trampled soul on the floor of my existence.

When I tasted freedom again, it was like my soul had jumped off the ground. Everything I smelled, tasted, and experienced became so much more amazing.

Yeah, I'm lucky Lucette again but not by chance. I got away from the monster. I made my own luck.

Justin:

"That Alejo guy finally went to the laundromat," Ratchet tells me nonchalantly, having just dropped by my apartment.

"Did you talk to him?!" I ask anxiously, my heart pounding. "Does he know where my lovely Lucette is?"

Ratchet groans. "Hold your horses, kid. I haven't talked to him yet."

"Why not?!" I snap furiously. "He may be the only person standing between me and my wife!"

"Who's the detective, you or me?!" he snarls.

"You," I murmur.

Ratchet grunts. "You'd better believe it."

"So what's the plan?" I question anxiously.

"I followed Alejo to get a feel for him."

"And?" The freak is taking way too long in telling me about Alejo. My anxiety is about to choke me!

"Alejo works at one of those women's shelters," he mentions nonchalantly.

"Women's shelters?"

"You know, one of those places broads go to when their men slap them around a bit."

I'm puzzled. "So who cares where he works at?"

Ratchet eyes me as if I'm stupid. "Isn't it obvious, pinhead?"

"What's obvious?"

"Lucette must've asked for the shelter's help," he proclaims, eyeing me carefully with a weird look.

"What?"

"She wanted help from the shelter. That must be why the laundromat supervisor said Alejo gave her a card."

I'm appalled at what the freak is suggesting. "Why would Lucette be involved in one of those places? We had a very happy marriage. You must be barking up the wrong tree with this Alejo guy."

Ratchet frowns loudly. "I don't think so. I'll be investigating more into this."

"I hope you're not wasting your time," I blurt, angry undertones in my voice.

"Kid," Ratchet snarls, "just let me do my job."

Chapter 38

Lucette/Araceli:

Alfredo calls me. My heart is beating really fast. What will he say to me?

"Araceli, do you mean everything you say in the letter?" he asks quietly.

"Yes, of course," I murmur.

"You haven't changed your mind since writing in?—you know, remorse."

"Of course not," I burst. I'm a little frustrated he's questioning me, but at the same time I can't blame him, can I?

I can hear him taking in a huge whiff of air. "Then we have a lot to talk about."

"I'd like nothing more," I burst.

We arrange to meet on Saturday morning. It's barely Tuesday, so there are a few days to go before we get together. He wants us to go to a private place, so we agree to see each other at a park he loves. There's a secluded desert area there with a bench that few people know about.

I breathe a heavy sigh of relief that Alfredo is even willing to talk to me.

Justin:

"I found her," Ratchet simply says. He's dropped by my apartment like he usually does, without calling first.

"What?" I don't think I heard right.

"Clean your ears, kid!" Ratchet snaps. "I said I found Lucette!"

I'm so overwhelmed that it's good that I'm sitting on the sofa or for sure I would've hit the floor.

"Found her?" I murmur, still not quite believing what I'm hearing.

Ratchet slaps me upside my head, but I hardly feel it. His assertion of finding my lovely Lucette is still rolling in my head. "Snap out of it, kid! I hacked into the shelter's computer, and I found Lucette, so go and get her!"

"Where is she?" I murmur.

"El Paso," he informs me nonchalantly.

"El Paso, Texas?"

"She's with a family there by the name of Sanchez and is using the name of Araceli."

"Araceli?"

Ratchet groans loudly. "Kid, must you repeat everything I say?"

"I'm just freaking out right now."

"Well stop it! Be a man and get yourself together."

"Okay," I mutter, realizing he's right. "Are you sure it's her?"

"I flew into El Paso and took some pictures of her." His hand goes to his side pocket of his camouflage cargo pants. "See for yourself."

I take the pictures he hands to me and burst with fury. The girl in the picture definitely isn't Lucette! The freak is totally incompetent! "This isn't her!" I snap, nostrils flaring.

Ratchet snorts loudly. "What's wrong with you, kid?! Don't you recognize your own wife?"

"The girl in the picture looks nothing like my lovely Lucette! This chick is much bigger, her hair is much darker, and the gestures on her face just don't belong to my Lucette!"

Ratchet groans. "Stupid kid!" he mutters. "Pinhead, you're _really_ trying my patience. Of course Lucette changed her appearance, so you wouldn't recognize her!"

"Changed her appearance?" I utter.

Ratchet nods fiercely. "It's common practice for people hiding from others to change their appearance."

"Why would my lovely Lucette try to hide from me?" I question, hurt.

Ratchet snorts again as if he can't believe the question. "Oh I don't know, kid," he guffaws. "Maybe it's about your foul temper."

"What?" What's this freak talking about?

"Slap your wife around a bit, do you?"

I'm appalled by his suggestion. "Of course not."

"So your wife leaves everything and changes her look and name for no reason?"

"I already told you that Lucette left because the miscarriage must've scrambled her brains."

"Sure, kid," he bursts sarcastically, "and I'm Mother Teresa."

"She's a bit confused that's all," I insist. "After she sees me she'll realize how much she needs and loves me."

He eyes me carefully and frowns. "I suggest, kid, that if you don't want your wife running away from you again you should talk to her without fists. You know, kid, hitting a girl is pretty cowardly. Didn't your dad ever teach you that? I'm almost sorry I found her for you, but you paid me lots of money and besides you seemed pretty desperate."

"You just don't understand anything about us!" I snap.

"Whatever," he mutters. "I found her so you'd better pay me the rest of the money!"

I stare at the pictures. The girl in them doesn't seem at all like my lovely Lucette.

Not at all!!!

Chapter 39

Lucette/Araceli:

Alfredo and I throw frequent glances at one another at school. It's like our sight automatically goes to each other without any prompting. He gives me my space until we can have our private talk on Saturday.

I think he purposely doesn't have us meet sooner because he wants me to be sure about things. He wants me to know exactly what I want in my heart.

_He's such a good guy,_ I tell myself. He's nothing like the monster.

Justin:

I fought Ratchet for days about the girl in the picture not being Lucette. He finally said he had enough of me and demanded that I go to El Paso to see for myself but that once I proved it was her, I'd better pay him every cent I owed him.

The guy still scares me quite a bit, so I took a few days off from work and did as he told me to do.

I'm outside and across the street from the address he gave me. I'm sitting in a new car one of my friends had just bought and let me borrow. Lucette has never seen this car, and the windows are tinted. It's early in the morning and I wait impatiently for this fake Lucette to step out. Ratchet had told me that she went to school, so I figure she must be coming out any minute now.

Three girls knock on the door of the house I'm spying on, and the girl in the picture steps out.

Stupid Ratchet! This girl looks nothing like my Lucette!

Of course it's not her! I've wasted a trip to El Paso!

Chapter 40

Lucette/Araceli:

"Are you okay, Araceli?" Danila questions, her tone full of worry. Anelina and Emily also eye me with concern.

"I'm fine," I quickly pop out even though I'm lying. "We'd better get going to school before we're late."

The Dynamic Trio had stopped by my home as they did every weekday to walk with me to school. It was only a few blocks away.

As soon as I had stepped out the door once Danila had knocked, a really weird sensation came over me as if I should run back inside. I guess what I was feeling on the inside showed on the outside which is why Danila had asked me if I was okay.

I sigh, hoping I'm not about to have a panic attack like I'd suddenly got when I first arrived at the Sanchez house. That's why I had taken to hiding under the bed at the time. It had really helped those panic attack explosions.

Silently, I start talking myself out of an emotional attack by telling myself about everything good in my life at the moment.

_Justin is far, far away,_ I keep repeating in my mind.

The weird feeling doesn't go away, but at least I'm not freaking out. I put all my concentration on the Dynamic Trio. As we walk to school, the girls are delightfully chatty as a usual.

Thank goodness for them!

Justin:

I'm pretty furious with the freak and about to drive off to get back to San Antonio when the supposed Lucette and her friends get closer to my car as they walk to school. They totally ignore me since the windows are tinted very dark and besides the four girls are chitchatting it all up. I rub my eyes!

I can't believe it!

IT'S LUCETTE!!!

Ratchet was right!!!

I don't need to tell you that my heart is pounding so hard that I'm scared it's about to burst! Tears of sheer happiness stream down my face. I found my Lucette.

I found her!

I recognize her—even with all the changes she made to herself. I'll have to talk to her about that. This disguise she has on has to be done away with. She needs to return to my lovely Lucette as soon as possible!

My heart won't stop jumping for joy! I really want to run up to her and tell her that the nightmare of us being apart is over. I want her with me as soon as possible. I want to give her a million kisses.

I need to tell her how much I love her.

_But_ . . .

I have to wait for the right time to approach her.

Ratchet had warned me about being careful not to make a scene, or I might end up in jail.

"But why would I be arrested for getting my wife back?!" I had snapped.

Ratchet grunted heavily. "Lucette doesn't seem to want to be found, kid."

"But she's my wife!!!"

"Pinhead, it's illegal to own a human being, even if you're married to her!"

"Who said anything about owning a person?" I snickered. "I just want her to know how much I love her and forgive her for everything she's done to me."

He let out an exasperated sound. "There's no talking to you! Do what you want, but don't expect me to bail you out of jail!"

I had ended up ignoring what Ratchet had last told me because I didn't believe the girl in the picture was Lucette.

Now I know better.

I decide to heed Ratchet's words. He seemed to be right about everything so far.

My lovely Lucette, we'll soon he together again. The right moment to talk to you will come.

_Soon_ _._

Chapter 41

Lucette/Araceli:

"What's wrong, Araceli?" questions Mrs. Sanchez, concern in her voice. We're in the kitchen having hot chocolate. The weird feeling I had a few days ago is still with me. "Are you having second thoughts about meeting with Alfredo?"

I shake my head. "No. In fact, I'm really looking forward to it."

"Then why do you look so out of it?"

I sigh. "I had a nightmare last night about Justin."

Mrs. Sanchez puts her comforting hand on my shoulder. "One of your repeating ones about your old life with him?"

"Actually not," I murmur, my voice shaky. "That's why this one was especially scary. In it Justin knocked on our door and pulled me by the hair to his car."

Mrs. Sanchez hugs me. I find comfort in her embrace, but I can't stop shaking.

The stupid nightmare of Justin finding me has made me paranoid because the weird feeling, the panic attack one, has turned into a sensation of being watched. It's a really awful feeling.

Silly, isn't it?

I've been desperately on the lookout for Justin and his car, but everything seems normal. Everything is calm.

Surely, if Justin had found me he would've already confronted me. Patience has never been one of his virtues. He would've already exploded on me!

_I'm just being paranoid,_ I decide.

I order myself to stop being so sensitive over a nightmare and a panic attack sensation. I need to start letting a lot of my fear go, so I can start a healthy relationship with Alfredo.

Friday finally comes and I can't help thinking that I only have to wait one more day to talk to my most awesome _amigo_. I've put the nightmare aside, demanding of myself to stop thinking about it.

Instead, I focus on pleasant thoughts of Alfredo. I'm so glad he made me wait because now I don't have any doubts that I want him back—if not as my boyfriend then at least as my best friend.

Saturday—here I come!!!

Justin:

Not going up to my wife and claiming our love back has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

The more I think about what Ratchet had advised me, the more I see his point. I don't want to just go up to lovely Lucette and have her so surprised that she causes an unnecessary commotion. Imagine how freaked out she'll be when she sees me!

But I've waited this long.

Might as well wait for the right time.

I've been watching her from a much greater distance from before. She's been a little twitchy—nervously looking around her. But I know how to hide myself.

Remember, I used to stake her out when we were together to keep her safe. I'm practically an expert on surveillance.

Lucette keeps looking over her shoulder, but I'm too far away from her in my car and with binoculars for her to catch me. I'm so thrilled that she seems to sense me.

It's our love for one another pulling us towards one another!

We'll soon be together again! That's for sure.

Chapter 42

Lucette/Araceli:

It's finally Saturday! I'm convinced Alfredo still has strong feelings for me and that we'll be clearing our way to some kind of a relationship when we have our private talk. At least that's what I hope.

The paranoia about the nightmare is unfortunately still with me even though I've told myself a million times to stop letting it affect me. At least it hasn't drowned me. I feel a certain huge relief when I think about having looked for Justin all around me and not finding him.

The monster for sure would've tried getting at me if he'd already found me, I keep reminding myself.

As I get ready to leave the house, I tell myself to allow myself to be happy. I'm about to meet up with Alfredo. I've been waiting since Tuesday for the private talk.

Justin is far away. Stop being such a scared worrywart and just be happy.

All is well.

Justin:

I can't believe my luck! I came early to Lucette's new home because I hadn't been able to sleep all night thinking about my wife. In fact, I haven't been able to sleep very much since finding her!

It's Saturday and I really didn't think that she'd be out and about so early, but once I saw her open the door, I just about had to slap myself to assure myself it was her. _And_ she's by herself for once!

I have to admit that after some of the excitement had worn off, I started to get a little pissed—well, very pissed off actually. Lucette had really put me through something really horrible. She's still the spoiled rich girl I had first met! You can take the girl out of her spoiled surroundings but can't take the spoiled crap out of her! She had been doing better when she was with me but now has resorted to her old uppity and selfish ways or how would you explain her behavior?!

I'll have to deal with her inconsiderate ways later. All I can say is that she'd better have a good reason for what she's done to me _and_ to _us._ I tell myself to control the fury while I figure out how to approach her. Last night, I had already broken some empty beer bottles in an empty parking lot just to let off some steam. I'd been drinking most of the night to cope with the situation. My friends had loaded my trunk with beer bottles just before leaving San Antonio to El Paso.

My friends are so awesome!

As I see Lucette rushing towards somewhere with a determined look on her face, I get out of the car to carefully follow her. Good thing she seems to be completely absorbed with what's on her mind.

A stray thought comes to me and rage boils inside of me.

She'd better not be meeting some guy!!! I'll kill them both! I swear I will!

Chapter 43

Lucette/Araceli:

I decide to go to the park early to get my head together before meeting with Alfredo. I keep all other thoughts and fears away. I'm going to enjoy the blissful moment of anticipation and hope of new beginnings. It's really a beautiful day. In San Antonio it would already be hot and even somewhat humid by this time in the morning but in the desert of El Paso it's a little cool.

I sit on the bench in the quiet and isolated portion of the park. It's got a desert motif and is picturesque with mesquite and cactus here and there. The swings and children's playground are on the other side of the park.

I take deep breaths in and out. Checking my watch, Alfredo should be here in fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes! Yes, I'm nervous, but it's a good nervous.

Justin:

"Who are you waiting for, Lucette?" I growl, bile in my mouth.

Chapter 44

Lucette/Araceli:

Chilled to the bone as if I'm in some kind of a surreal, terrifying dream, I turn my face. The monster calmly stares back at me. His face is red and his nostrils are flaring. He stinks of alcohol.

_Am I asleep at home in my nightmare?_ I ask myself. But I know the chilling answer. This is for real!!! My heart pumps so hard it wants to explode. My head swirls with violence. Sweat pours out of me.

MY GOSH!!! OOOOH NO!!!

I should've listened to the weird sensation—my instincts had been trying to warn me! Now it's too late.

I'm all alone with him, and I recognize his violent stare. He's about to pound me—really let me have it. I'm in the usual zombie-like state I get when he furiously glares at me.

_Wake up from zombieland!_ I tell myself.

Wake up!!!

"You'd better tell me who you're meeting, Lucette!" he snarls, his fist shaking in my face.

If I tell him I'm meeting a guy I'm dead for sure. _And_ also, if I keep zoning out the way I always have, I'm at his total mercy!

_Make your own luck, lucky Lucette,_ I demand of myself. _Get out of the stupor!_

"Justin," I manage to say, my voice really shaky. At least I'm talking.

"I'm glad you remember your husband's name!!!"

I really want to correct him about our fake marriage but of course I don't. Yet, surely he must've found the letter telling him we're not married. _He's delusional,_ I ascertain. "Of course I remember your name, Justin."

"You don't know what I went through to find you, Lucette!" he snaps, his eyes watery. "How could you do this to me?"

His fists become even more knurled, but he anxiously surveys the area instead of hitting me. He's never beat me out in the open except for slap me in the car, and I can tell he's debating whether to let me have it. He knows I'm waiting for someone, so he must be asking himself whether it's a good idea to whack me with someone about to come. I play it up by looking at my watch.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you who you're waiting for!!!" he bellows in my ear.

_Think fast!_ I tell myself. _Or you'll die here and now._ It becomes clear to me that _everything_ I had been feeling recently was absolutely true. I was being followed. Justin's been watching me. You don't know how relieved I am that Alfredo and I had been broken up for all intents and purposes. Justin couldn't have seen me with him, but he had probably seen me with the Dynamic Trio.

"I'm waiting for my three girl friends," I assure, trying to make my voice as steady as possible.

He nods, his face losing some of its fury. "I've seen you with them."

Inside, a breath of relief goes through me. I had guessed right. Now for some more acting.

"Justin, you _do_ love me! You found me!" I gush while my stomach is turning. "I've been waiting for a long time for you to find me!"

He looks puzzled, his glare softening. "What?"

"After the miscarriage I went into total despair. If I couldn't stop blaming myself then how could I expect you to forgive me?"

His face completely loses its fury. "I knew it had to be something like that for you to leave me," he murmurs, his eyes totally soaked in water as he sits next to me on the bench.

"Then when the letter came about us not really being married I figured you wouldn't want me anymore, but that you would want to live up to your responsibilities." I made my own eyes throw out streams of tears. "I found a way of getting away so you'd be free to make of your life what you wanted, but I kept hoping you'd come and find me." Taking out tissue paper from my purse, I dab at my fake sobs.

With abrupt energy he thrusts me to his chest, my face feeling the sudden pain of the hard hit. "How could you ever think that I'd stop loving you, my lovely Lucette!"

"I just couldn't believe you could still care for me after the miscarriage," I warble.

He pulls me away from him and lands his mouth on my own. The sloppy kiss almost makes me vomit, but I force myself not to wretch. Finally, he disengages. A wide grin takes over his expression.

"I love you so much, Lucette!" he announces. "Don't worry about not legally being my wife. In my heart you never stopped being my ball and chain. We'll get officially married as soon as possible."

"Awesome," I prattle, attempting to sound sincere. My skin is crawling, but I try to smile.

"We'd better go before your friends show up," he states. "Why risk complications?"

I nod. Alfredo is due to be here any minute, and who knows what'll happen if the both of them confront one another. It's just too dangerous with Justin as strong as an ox. Once outside of the movies, Justin confronted two guys because he said they were staring at me. Justin beat both of them up!

He swings his arm over my shoulder when we stand up from the bench. His steely limb traps me as we start walking. I'm forced to follow his lead.

"We're never going to be apart again," he asserts. "We're bonded forever, Lucette. Soul-mates forever!!!"

I try to concentrate on not tripping with him so close to me. I try to figure out what to do with this terrifying situation. Right now he's lovely dovey but believe me when I tell you that the guy can turn on a dime.

"I love you so much that it hurts!" he bursts. "You really don't know how deep my feelings for you are! I practically wanted to commit suicide when I came home and you weren't there!"

After a few seconds of us silently walking, he makes a growling noise. "Why aren't you saying anything?! I'm pouring my heart out to you, and you're just a bump on a log!"

_Think fast!_ "I'm so overwhelmed with you having found me that it's hard for me to talk," I murmur, my voice shaky.

He sighs. "You're overwhelmed? Try being me. You just don't know what it's been like for me," he retorts.

"I'm sorry, Justin." Terror is striking me. The monster's mood is starting to turn.

"You should be!"

Diffusing his explosive personality is very, _very_ difficult. "I'm sooo sorry."

He sneers loudly. "You know, painting me out to be a wife beater really sucks, Lucette! Did you have to get with a women's shelter?" he snaps. "Couldn't you have found another way of leaving San Antonio?!"

I need to do something _now_ or who knows what'll happen. After he gets to a certain boiling point, he's at the point of no return, and he lets his violent fists do the thinking and talking for him.

I frantically look around me. Nobody is out and about. _What bad luck,_ I say to myself. _Unlucky Lucette._ But then I quickly tell myself I don't have time to wallow in self-pity. I've got to make my own luck! _C'mon, Lucette—think,_ _think hard!_ _No more zombie! Find a way out! You're not the same girl you were before_ — _the one who only saw a sea of hopelessness. You've found your guts! You've found your true self in El Paso. You can get out of this situation._ _THINK!_

I refuse for _my_ life to be in slavery anymore. I'm in charge of my existence now.

Then a bright lightbulb turns on in my head. With him clutching me, I had been trying to avoid getting my feet entangled with his steps when I suddenly figure out my escape plan. Tripping at the chosen spot, I find my solution. When I hit the ground he lets me go by reflex so he won't go down with me. I immediately tightly curl myself around his legs.

"What in the world are you doing?!!!" he snaps, totally taken by surprise.

Oh, yeah!—I know what I'm doing.

He tries to get me off of him but can't as I squeeze my arms around his legs as much as I can. He tries to walk but stumbles. My plan is working like a charm.

I had read somewhere that curling yourself around someone's legs renders that person almost immobile. It unbalances the person without the free use of those limbs.

"Lucette, get off my legs!!!" Justin screeches, still trying unsuccessfully to pull me off him. I'm so relieved that he doesn't have a gun. Justin has always liked the feel of his own fists as they crashed into something. Other kinds of weapons, except for his own two hands, have never interested him much.

Justin stumbles all over. He's completely disoriented as I swiftly tighten my left arm around his legs to let my right hand free. My hand flies toward the object to finish executing my plan.

With all the force I have inside of me— the burning rage of what he's done to me, the desperation to stay alive—I seize the large rock and ferociously swing my hand straight to his groin.

" _OWWWWW!!!_ " he screams.

Justin:

The agony is so excruciating I nearly faint! Instead, I double over, grabbing my privates in throbbing and piercing pain. Why would my wife do this to me?!!! I just can't stay upright anymore, so I tumble to the ground with Lucette finally letting my legs go.

She jumps off the ground like a jackrabbit and sprints away. My gosh—I just can't believe she's running away from me!

Leaving me _again_!

What in the world is with her? Did the miscarriage damage her brain somehow?

I manage to get through the pain and stumble up. Rushing after her, as fast as I'm able with the pain still threatening to send me under, I go after my wife.

I'm really pissed off!

Really, _really_ pissed off!

_Wait till I catch her!!!_ I say to myself, knurling my right fist into a tight flaming ball.

Chapter 45

Lucette:

Running for my life, I quickly turn my head to find that Justin is coming after me. He's injured so he's trailing me by quite a few yards. Still, if I don't keep my stride, he'll catch up to me, so I abruptly turn my head frontward.

_Look ahead_ , I tell myself. _Don't look back anymore. It'll slow you down._

I open my mouth wide and start screaming, "Fire! Fire!"

Along with the tidbit about the leg thing, I had also learned that people usually don't like getting involved in violence but will rush out to see a fire. I needed to do something about the isolation with Justin.

Finally out of the lonely park, I hit the streets which are dotted with travelling vehicles here and there. "Fire! Fire!" I keep yelling. People in cars with the windows rolled down start looking at me with perplexed looks. I guess they're wondering where the fire is. I'm hoping that at least one of them calls the police.

Uh oh!—I can hear Justin gaining on me. He keeps calling my name and I can hear his voice getting closer and closer. I quickly turn my sight right and then left before a usually busy intersection _. No cars coming._ I say to myself. _Lucky._

Crossing the street in a sprint, I keep hastening towards safety. I'm practically out of breath, but there's no way I'll stop running. No way!

Uh oh!—I see Alfredo coming my way in a rush. He's seen me and apparently Justin too because he keeps looking at me with a worried face and then his sight shoots behind me.

While Alfredo doesn't know what Justin looks like, he's probably guessed what's happening by the terror on my face and the strange situation unfolding.

ERRRK!

Suddenly, squealing tires!

Tires that are trying to brake!

Alfredo stops running as he gawks at the scene behind me with absolute horror. I can only imagine what's happening.

BAM!!! THUMP!!!

Hearing the resonating sound, I make an abrupt stop. Something really serious is happening behind me! Turning quickly around, I nearly collapse with astonishment. At the intersection, Justin is high in the air. The car that hit him sits on the street with a bloodied dent on the front of the hood. In the far distance I hear sirens.

It's all so surreal.

Justin:

Excruciating, blinding pain.

Even worse than the one earlier!

Sticky blood rushing out.

Coming back down, I shatter the windshield. _OWWW!!!_ —even more pain.

Agonizing.

OWWWWWWWWW!!!

I . . . I can't . . . believe I'm . . . leaving this world— _gulp_ —without my wife. . . I should've . . . killed us both earlier . . . _gulp_ . . .

My . . . lovely . . . Lu—

Chapter 46

Lucette:

OMG!!!

Blood everywhere!

From where I'm standing Justin looks dead!

Alfredo gets to me and flings his arms around me as my legs are about to buckle under. _Is this really happening?_ I ask myself.

Justin:

After the car flung me to the air and then I landed on it, I get up as if nothing. It's like a miracle that I'm in one piece! I start yelling at the driver who is out of his vehicle and disoriented with some blood and pieces of glass on him.

He ignores me which pisses me off further. The jerk won't even acknowledge that I'm next to him.

His eyes stay glued in shock to his car. I follow his line of vision just to see what he's ogling with such overwhelming intensity.

Then I see the poor shmuck on the shattered windshield. His eyes are all glazed over, blood is spurting everywhere, and his body is twisted in an abnormal way.

Slowly the terrifying truth dawns on me. It's like a jackhammer pounding on my head. _That guy is me!_ I say to myself.

HOW CAN I BE DEAD?!!!

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?!!!

Chapter 47

Lucette:

I can't believe Justin is dead. The whole tragic episode is still really surreal to me—like a horror movie I must've watched a long time ago.

But it wasn't a film.

And it happened to me only a day ago.

I'm in my room, trying to absorb everything that has occurred. Mrs. Sanchez, being sensitive as always, knew I needed some space. She had to firmly tell Alfredo to give me some time to lick my wounds.

He's been so great by the way. He went with me to the police station as I explained the whole sordid mess. The poor freaked out guy who hit Justin with his car was let go after Alfredo explained that he had personally witnessed the way Justin had run into the intersection without checking for traffic.

The monster had blindly gone after me. I still shiver at the thought of his single-mindedness towards me. His all-consuming obsession hadn't been anywhere near to love.

Alejo called me as soon as Mrs. Sanchez contacted him, so he'd know what was happening. He told me not to blame myself for Justin's death. It was common for victims of abuse to blame themselves for everything.

To be honest with you, I was heading in that direction. _It's my fault Justin's dead,_ kept running through my confused and exhausted mind. But Alejo asserted that he had caused his own death.

I then shut out those ugly thoughts because I realized the truth to what Alejo was saying. _I'm done blaming myself for what was done to me,_ I tell myself. _I'll take responsibility for my life, but I won't take someone else's blame._

I was so drained that when Alejo offered to call my parents and explain what had happened, I grabbed onto his offer. I just didn't have any more strength in me at the moment for their prying questions. After talking to my mom and dad, Alejo called Mrs. Sanchez and told her my parents would be arriving tomorrow.

Thank goodness I have some breathing room before seeing them again. We're in for a very long and deep talk.

At the moment, I breathe a sigh of relief that I have a respite for the moment. Alejo and Mrs. Sanchez are really awesome handling certain things for me.

Mrs. Sanchez did me another huge favor. She explained to the Dynamic Trio about me. Now that Justin is gone, there's no reason to keep lying about who I am. They now know my real name is Lucette and about the tragic circumstances that brought me here.

_Well,_ I say to myself. _At least it's all over._

Justin:

Being dead is still very hard on me.

Very, _very_ hard.

Everything feels so different as if all the vibrations around me are stronger. All the colors look as if I'm seeing them through a filter. Sounds are at a higher pitch.

_And_ the worst part is that I can't communicate with Lucette. Not that I haven't tried. The day of my accident I rushed over to her after I realized I was dead. Some guy was holding her and I got really furious.

Who did this guy think he was hugging my wife?!

I tried to punch him, but my hand went right through him. I kept trying but only managed to frustrate myself to no end. I went with Lucette and her guy friend to the police station where I had to endure her saying some really awful things about me.

That's where I met Henry. This guy looked straight at me and said hello.

"You can see me?!" I had blurted at the guy seemingly in his twenties about my size at six feet and on the thin side. His short hair was light brown and his light green eyes were icy and unfriendly.

He snorted with a smirk. "We're both dead, buddy. I'm Henry." He didn't even bother to give me his hand. What for? We were like vapor after all.

"I'm Justin." In calling me buddy he reminded me of my best friend Rocco.

"You've been staring at that girl," Henry said, pointing at Lucette. "Was she your gal?"

"Still is!" I snapped.

He snorted again. "Doesn't look like it." The same guy from earlier was holding her. Grrrr! Fury rushed right through me.

Henry chortled. "I know how you feel. My girl screwed me over too."

"Really?"

"I taught her a real good lesson though."

"You did?"

"You'd better believe it," he smirked. "I taught her a thing or two when I was alive."

My face fell in frustration. "When you were alive?" I murmured, disappointed.

He smirked. "Hey, buddy, I've been teaching her some things while I'm dead too!"

My interest suddenly totally perked up. "How'd you do that?" I rushed.

He cackled. "Justin, you've got so much to learn about being dead."

I had grinned widely, realizing I was dead but not invisible. Henry told me that ghost lessons wouldn't start right away but would begin in a while.

"You've got to get used to your new situation before I teach you how to handle yourself without the flesh," he explained.

I was thrilled that I would be able to detonate my rage with Lucette. She had betrayed me! She had run away from me again! She had said all those lies about me at the police station! She had been waiting for the all-arms guy and not two girls! Yeah, she was cheating on me with another guy!

It's _all_ her fault I'm dead!!!

I'm soooo furious!!!

I'm getting _so_ exasperated. Henry keeps telling me to be patient—to keep cool. I frown loudly. Henry is starting to remind me of the freak. Ratchet must've told me to hold my horses dozens of times.

I hate being told to calm down!

I want my revenge to start already!

Chapter 48

Lucette:

I'm the one who nervously opens the door when my parents arrive from the airport. They had rented a luxury car and drove to the Sanchez house. As soon as they see me they first eye me a few seconds with puzzlement at my different look but then realize it's me and get completely teary eyed. I can't help but fall into their open arms.

"Lucette honey, how are you?" my mother asks anxiously.

My father quickly joins her worry. "Baby, are you okay?"

I nod my head even though I still feel far from being totally fine.

"Come in, come in the house," Mr. Sanchez beseeches from behind me. Mrs. Sanchez also chimes in with her husband. Both wear their incredibly friendly smiles. Once I lead my parents in the door I introduce everybody. Greetings are made. Hands are shaken. Even with all the tension, the atmosphere is a very positive one.

"My husband and I will be in the kitchen so you can have private time with your daughter," declares Mrs. Sanchez.

As soon as they leave the room my mother turns to me, hurt in her eyes. "Why didn't you tell us what was going on?"

"Why didn't you tell us that Justin was hurting you?" my father adds.

I frown. "Ever since I got together with Justin, the truth is that I haven't had much support from you."

My mother shakes her head with hurt in her eyes. "That's not true."

"We were there for you when you had the miscarriage," my father rushes.

I sigh. "Yes, but when I mentioned the subject of maybe leaving Justin, both of you were adamantly against it."

Tears roll down my mother's face. "We thought we were making you take responsibility."

"We realized we had spoiled you all your life, and we needed to try to correct it," my father explains. "We thought we were doing you a good."

"If you had told us that Justin was beating you, we would've reacted differently," assures my mother, wiping the tears from her eyes with a tissue from her purse.

"You never even gave us a chance to be understanding!" my father snaps.

I solemnly nod. "In retrospect, I think I should've told you, but at the time I didn't feel I could. I took the only way out I felt was an option for me. Besides, I was always terrified of what Justin might've done to you if you knew what was happening."

My mother shivers. "He was dangerous, wasn't he?"

I nod. "Yeah."

"Well, he's gone now," my father declares. "His reign of terror is over."

"You can come home now," my mother murmurs as her eyes scan the Sanchez house with distaste. "You don't have to live like this anymore."

I'm pretty furious at my snobby mother! "Live like what?" I burst.

My father waves his hand in the air, indicating the home. "All cheap without any class. My poor Lucette having to live under these deplorable conditions," he sighs.

"And you can go back to your real look, honey," my mother states, eyeing me from top to bottom with a contorted face.

"This _is_ my _real_ look!" I blurt.

"Baby, we know you've been through a lot," my father assures. "We'll get you the best therapist to help you sort everything out."

My mother winks at me. "You bet we will!"

I'm about to speak when the living room door to the kitchen swings open. The smiling Sanchezes step in.

"Sorry to interrupt," Mrs. Sanchez rushes apologetically. "But we made you some lunch."

"Don't rush your time with your daughter," Mr. Sanchez chimes in. "We'll have lunch when you're ready."

My mother's eyes rove around the house again, and she tightly scrunches her face. "Thank you," she says coolly, "but lunch here won't be necessary."

My father nods in agreement with her. "We made reservations at—"

"We'll only be a few more minutes," I tell the Sanchezes, "then we'll be proud to have lunch with you. Thank you so much for having taken the trouble to make it. You're awesome!"

My parents eye me with shocked bewilderment. The Sanchezes nod and return to the kitchen. As soon as the door closes behind them I explode on my uppity parents.

"You're acting like jerks!" I burst.

My parents' faces become indignant with anger. "Don't talk to us like that, Lucette!" my father barks.

I gulp, pushing my frustration down. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, but you have to listen to what I have to tell you."

"What is it?" questions my mother, sounding wary.

"These people, the Sanchezes, have taken care of me like you wouldn't believe," I assert.

"Of course we're grateful for their help," my father rushes to say.

I nod, sighing heavily. "I know you're already judging them by how much you think they're worth—in money. I'll tell you right now what you already know that they don't have a lot of wealth. I'll also tell you that you can't judge them by your usual class standards because the Sanchezes aren't worth anything as small as money. Yeah, those two people in the kitchen are priceless."

"Baby—" my father starts but I'm not finished.

"My gosh, you haven't even thanked the people who helped me in ways you can't even imagine. You're so stuck in your class castle that you won't even share a meal with them. Don't you see how wrong you are?"

"Luc—" my father starts again. My mother is staring away from me with a guilty look on her face.

"Right now I'm really ashamed of being your daughter," I murmur.

"That's enough, Lucette," my father mutters. "You've made us feel bad enough."

"Did I?" I question. "Sorry, but I've come to realize that it's the heart and not what's in the bank account that really makes a person valuable."

"Honey, you sure have changed," my mother murmurs, finally looking at me.

My father nods. "Yes, changed."

I shrug. "So much has happened to me that I could hardly avoid it."

"I can see that," my mother mentions, sighing.

"I can't begin to tell you all that the Sanchezes have done for me," I murmur. "We're going to have lunch with the Sanchezes and then we're going to thank them again and again for what they've done for me, okay?"

My parents nod silently.

"Okay," I murmur, "Now let's go have an awesome lunch!"

Justin:

Dangerous? Reign of terror? Had Lucette and her family really used those words to describe me?

I'm getting more and more furious. I meet up with Henry at the police station to try to get him to start the ghost lessons. I've learned that when he isn't spying on his wife, he's at the police station because he used to be a cop at that precinct and feels comfortable there. He tells me it's too soon to start my schooling.

I want to explode.

"Okay, okay, I'll show you a little something for now."

"Great!" I mutter sharply.

"I'll show you how to get around."

"Get around?!" I snap. "I know how to do that!"

He guffaws loudly. "Trust me, you don't. You're still getting to places on foot, right?"

My eyebrows shoot up. "Well, yeah. Is there another way?"

He cackles thunderously. "You'd better believe it!"

Then he shows me how to blank my mind, think of the destination with strong force, and abruptly appear there. He grabs my arm and suddenly we're at his former house.

"Welcome to my castle," he sneers.

I'm completely taken aback when I see his wife. The right side of her face is completely puckered as if it had been burned. Henry catches me staring horror-struck at her, and he starts snickering.

"I threw acid on her," Henry mentions nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"I caught her flirting with our next door neighbor. She denied it, but I know what I saw."

"What did you see?" I question, getting a sickening sensation in my stomach.

"Well, she went out one night to throw the trash, and he was outside. They had probably agreed to meet."

"Oh." It's all I can say. I remember being enraged with Lucette for a similar reason.

His face tightens. "Can you believe she killed me for catching her red handed?!"

"What do you mean?"

"After I threw the acid on her face, she grabbed my gun and shot me dead! She grabbed it right out of my holster as I was about to pound her with a chair—the acid hadn't been enough punishment for her betrayal!"

"So that's how you died?" I murmur.

"Yep, it was all her fault. Now I'll never let her be free. I haunt her nightmares and even her daydreams," he chortles with giddiness.

"How's that working?"

Henry sighs. "Well, buddy, I have to be honest with you. This haunting business only really works if the person you're haunting doesn't let you go. Sure you can play with lights, ruffle a few things, and move some crap around but if they refuse to acknowledge you at all then you're up the creek without a paddle. But if they keep you in their memories, you can haunt them there and ruin the rest of their lives." He starts cackling that harsh laugh I hate. "Try forming a relationship with another person when you're your former lover still lives and thrives inside of you."

When I get back to Lucette that night I have a lot to think about.

### Chapter 49

Lucette:

I don't know how I did it, but my parents completely change their attitudes after the harsh talk I gave them. You should see the way they thank the Sanchezes with tears in their eyes. They also dig into the meal.

After we finish the feast of Mexican food like enchiladas, tacos, and ranchero beans the Sanchezes had prepared for us, my parents tell the Sanchezes that it was the best Mexican cuisine they had ever had. They aren't just saying that either. I can tell they're being sincere.

Then I have another private talk with them. I tell them I want to finish my senior year in El Paso since I only have a few more weeks to go. I want to go through the graduation ceremony here.

"Baby, you don't want to come home?" my father asks with watery eyes.

"Daddy, of course I miss home, but I just feel I have to finish what I started here. You know, be responsible for myself."

"I wouldn't want to impose on the Sanchezes anymore," my mother murmurs, tears also trailing from her eyes.

"I talked to them before you got here, and they said I'm welcomed to stay," I explain. "I told you how priceless they are."

"Yes, priceless," my father agrees.

"Yes, definitely," my mother states, dabbing her tears with a tissue from her purse.

"By the way, what do you want for your graduation present?" my father asks, smiling. I can tell he wants to lighten the heavy conversation. "How about a new car? There are some great models coming out this year. You should see the newest—"

"Dad, I don't want a new car."

Then I tell them what I want. I've never wanted a gift as much as I want this.

Justin:

I can't stop thinking about Henry's wife. Her poor burn-puckered face gives me the chills. What kind of monster would do that to another person? I would never do that to Lucette.

_But I was willing to kill us both,_ a voice says inside of me. _Am I anything like Henry?_

This thought is tormenting me. _Really_ tormenting me. I watch Lucette as she sleeps. The lady of the house had given her some kind of a tea to help her snooze.

_That'll end when I start haunting her,_ I say to myself. Except after seeing what I saw earlier, the revenge thing is losing its appeal. I look at a serene Lucette and realize with a pull in my heart that she never slept so soundly with me. She always looked so tormented while asleep.

I sit on the bed next to her and put my face in my hands. Everything is becoming so confused. This being dead business and experiencing things differently really sucks.

"It's time that you see and feel your whole life," a voice says.

I jump up, scared out of my wits. No one is around. I tell myself that I must've imagined the voice, but then it's like invisible hands firmly sit me on Lucette's bed again.

I'm really freaked out! "Who are you?"

"I'm just a messenger."

"An angel?" I question, gulping.

"No more chit chat. We've got important things to do."

"What do you want with me?" I question, panicking. Why hadn't Henry told me about this?

"Shut up and just stay still."

Immediately, scenes of my life start rushing through my head.

"Your life should've flashed before you at the car accident, but your single minded obsessions didn't let it happen, but no one escapes it. Not even you, Justin."

Chapter 50

Lucette:

I hug my parents tightly just before they leave to the airport. They agree to take care of my graduation present as soon as possible. They're still a little surprised I'm not running back to their mansion, but they have to get used to me not being the same girl I used to be.

What can I say?—I'm not lucky Lucette anymore. I'm make-my-own-luck Lucette.

I'm not a clueless girl anymore.

I know that my parents still have a really long way before they fully understand my point of view, but I love them, and they love me. That's what's important at this moment.

If Justin had really loved me instead of being obsessed with me he wouldn't have hurt me with abuse like he did. Wonderful love isn't about jealousy, punches, stalking or even high, razor blade emotions. It's about wanting the best for one another.

It's about kindness, compassion, and enjoying one another. It's about true friendship with some fire.

With Justin and me, it was just fire.

Hot, scorching terrifying fire that destroyed everything in its periphery.

Thinking of Justin fills me with all kinds of emotions. I'm still smarting over everything. How can I not be? Apart from the horror I lived with him, the guy almost kidnapped me, and he died before my own two eyes.

His burial is soon. No, I'm not going. I've already said good-bye to him and besides, being with his drunken friends and his jerk dad is not something I want to submit myself to. I've let Justin ruin my life enough. No more!

Justin:

Going to your own funeral is pretty strange to say the least. At first I get really pissed that Lucette hadn't come, but then I remember my life movie the angel had submitted me to and I shudder uncontrollably. It was quite a shocking experience! I saw my whole life flash before me, but the thing is that I also witnessed and felt it from the different angles of the people around me. It was as if I had to experience the stories around me to know my own because we were connected somehow.

Yeah, super bizarre stuff!—I know! How do you think I am after suffering through that? Pretty shaken up!

I could feel-experience many, many things—my mother's terrifying fear of my father, his swirling blind fury pounding her, my feelings of helplessness while growing up, overwhelming rage growing inside of me and getting bigger by the day, and then . . .

Lovely Lucette.

She feared me sooo much. I can still feel her heart thrashing at the sight of me. When we had first met it had pounded intensely with our romance, but after I started unloading my deep seeded anger on her, her feelings for me turned pitch dark.

I kept telling her how much I loved her. At the same time, my aggressiveness towards her kept multiplying. Those blows I gave her still resonate on my own skin, those tears she cried in the middle of the night where I couldn't see them still burn into my heart, and that great relief of finally getting away from me pierced my understanding.

How is it that I never considered these things until my life flashed before my eyes? Maybe I'm just not thinking straight. The life review might've scrambled my brains. It's just all so confusing.

That's why as I sit in my own funeral with all types of emotions whirling inside me, I try to momentarily push away the anger I feel toward Lucette for not having come. Even though my first instinct is to be really, really pissed off, I decide to keep calm until I can sort out all that's happening to me.

Scanning the funeral home, I find the place is nearly empty. I'm in the back, so all I can see are a few heads here and there—not a lot of people came. To tell you the truth, I didn't have a lot of friends but the few I did have are sitting behind my parents in the front pews. Good ole friends!

I decide to get my bravery up and check myself out in the casket. Even though I can magically appear there with the nifty travelling trick Henry showed me, I walk slowly there to give myself time to prepare.

Still, I jolt when I first catch a glimpse of myself. It's really me! I half expected and hoped that it wouldn't be, that this was all some sort of a mistake, that I'm just having a long nightmare.

No such luck!

I'm in my favorite jeans and leather jacket, and all the blood has been cleaned up. I look like I'm asleep and that I'll be waking up at any minute.

Turning around with emotion, I catch sight of my parents front-on for the first time since I got here. I'm overwhelmed by what I see! I expected mom to be crying, but not dad. Yet, he's wailing up a storm.

Who knew that my old man really cared about me? He sure didn't act like it while I was alive.

I decide to sit with them on their lonely pew. The eulogies start. All five of my friends stumble up to the podium at the same time and start taking turns telling about what a fun guy I was. They're cracking jokes and pretty loosy goosy. It occurs to me that they're pretty drunk.

These guys are totally smashed at my funeral! They can barely stand up.

They start hating on Lucette announcing that it's all her fault I'm dead. They assert that I was so good and loving to her, and she ran off breaking my heart because she's a totally spoiled brat.

_No, I wasn't awesome to her,_ pops into my head. _And she's not spoiled—at least not anymore._

My friends keep ragging on her, and I want to yell at them to stop. She doesn't deserve all the cruel and vicious things they're saying about her. After they finish their character assassination, they put a bottle of my favorite beer beside my dead body in the casket.

"Drink up for the last time, best buddy," they murmur in unison.

I start cracking up so hard with laughter that tears spring out of my eyes. As if I can actually drink it! Then I realize something big—something I had never seen before. My drunken friends thought they were doing me a favor by buying me alcohol, but all it did was make matters worse. Just like my dad is a mean drunk so am I. Most of the times I had beat on Lucette I was really drunk.

"Get that crap out of my casket!" I snap at them but of course they can't hear me.

My dad stumbles up to the podium next. Like my friends, he's also had too much to drink. He's wailing like I've never seen him do before.

"My son is dead!!!" he bellows with a slur, the walls of the funeral home reverberate with his anguished cries. Finally, he manages to get a hold of himself. "Justin was my only son," he warbles, his words barely decipherable. "There were problems in my family like in all families, but basically we were a very loving family."

What?! Really, Dad. Get real.

"I loved him even though I didn't demonstrate it," my father continues. "It's bad for a guy to be all mushy."

I groan, a pain in my chest _. I really needed your love, Dad—mushy love._ Tears spring to my eyes. _The kind that warms you and calms the beast inside._

"Some people might question my parenting skills," he declares, "but you can't argue with success. I was hard on him to make him into a man and that's what he grew into—a fine man."

My friends yell out yelps of agreement.

"I wasn't a fine man," I yell back. "You're all lying about me! I was a drunken jerk!" Of course, no one in the room can hear me.

"He certainly had the greatest of friends," my father asserts.

More yelps fill the air.

True friends wouldn't have kept me drunk all the time. They would've wanted the best for me instead of keeping me in my delusions. These drunken guys would actually cheer me on when I would tell them about the aggressive things I'd do to Lucette.

"His one huge flaw was falling in love with that skank Lucette!" my father retorts. Then he continues a litany of hate towards her. I have to put my hands over my ears at all the animosity spewing out of him. Poor Lucette—taking the blame for the ugly fury-confusion of nearly everyone in this room.

My father finishes with a hideous statement. "I hope that slut gets her comeuppance and someone beats the crap out of her until she cries for mercy and then drops dead!"

Whoops and yelps roar from my so called friends.

I shake my head with disgust.

My father almost collapses as he makes it back to the pew. My mom slowly moves herself to the podium, weeping into a tissue all the way. She's the only one in the room, except for me, not drunk.

She takes her face out of the tissue and pronounces, "I love my son."

I stare at her with horror. I had been so concentrated at my father's strange behavior that I hadn't really looked at her. She's got a black eye and deep purple bruises all over her skin. I hate to see what the ones not visible look like!

A realization dawns on me and chokes me. Dad had taken out my death on her!

"I'll love him for all eternity," she continues, sobs trying to take over her voice. "His passing can't change that."

"Get back here!" demands my father, fury and disgust in his voice. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"But I need to tell him how much I love him," sobs my mom.

"He can't hear you, you idiot!" my father snaps.

"Oh yes I can," I shout back.

"My love for him will never ever burn out," my mom asserts. "Justin is—"

My father shoots up with ferociousness. "I already told you to get back here!" His tight fist is in the air. "You'd better do as I say."

My mom eyes the fist with terror and returns to the pew sobbing into her tissues all the way.

Meanwhile, I feel sick to my stomach at what had happened to her—and all because of me. Because of my death. She was beaten to a pulp, and she couldn't even say what she wanted to say at her only son's funeral.

My heart is shattering.

Chapter 51

Lucette:

Alfredo calls to ask if it's okay for him to visit. Do I need any more space? I tell him to come on over.

He arrives at my home with an anxious face. Once I smile at him, his face eases itself and he grins back at me. In the privacy of my room, he puts his hand on mine. "How are you, Araceli?"

"Lucette," I correct him.

He smiles and nods. "How are you, Lucette?"

"Better," I say, putting my other hand on top of his which is still on top of my left one, squeezing it. "We haven't had the pending talk yet."

"No," he murmurs, smiling.

"I'm glad we're finally doing it."

He nods. "I really want to talk to you about the letter you wrote me."

"I meant every word of it, Alfredo."

"It was a beautiful note. You can't imagine how much it touched me—it got to me."

I grin. "Did it? Do you forgive me for having been such a jerk to you?"

"Ara—I mean Lucette, of course I forgive you. How can I not when I've seen what you've gone through?"

"Thanks, Alfredo," I murmur, tears in my eyes.

"Still, I just want to make sure you're ready for a relationship. We can just be friends if you want until you're ready."

I let out a deep breath. "I can't live in my past anymore, Alfredo. I'm not going to let Justin haunt me anymore like he was doing when he was alive. Now he's dead and it's time to let him go. It's time to trust my feelings and others. I trust you, Alfredo. You're a good guy and I'm a girl who can fend for herself."

Alfredo kissed me then—a gentle, toe curling kiss.

Justin:

I'm pretty shaken up with the life review _and_ the funeral. Then I go to Lucette's place to find her with the Alfredo guy!

I'm really freaking out!

My first instinct is to be blindingly furious but then I think of what I felt-experienced about Lucette when my life flashed before my eyes, and my resentment starts dissipating a little. Then I think about my jerk father and my mom's black eye and purple bruises at my funeral, and my rage with my wife is completely abated. I start paying attention to what Lucette and the Alfredo guy are saying.

All I can say is that Lucette has really changed. She's talking about having a healthy relationship with the guy. Healthy meaning no verbal or physical violence. I start remembering when she had talked to her parents a few days ago. I, being who I've always been, freaked out at what they had said about me having been dangerous. But _now_ I want to concentrate on the rest of the conversation they had had. Lucette surprised me when she actually stood up for herself.

Lucette had actually called them on being snobs! Wow! Lucette isn't the spoiled rich girl I first met at school. She's like a fighter for herself now.

I can really appreciate that.

Lucette kisses the Alfredo guy. I admit I want to rush in between them and try to stop it, but at the same time I want to tell her, "Good for you, Lucette, for not letting me haunt you anymore."

She's tough Lucette now.

I really like that.

Chapter 52

Lucette:

The Dynamic Trio had been giving me my space. They squealed with joy when I called each one and told them to please come to my home. We have a heart to heart when we meet in the living room. The Sanchezes are not home since they are visiting friends.

"How do you feel?" Danila questions, worried.

"I'm okay," I assure.

"Are you really?" asks Emily. "We're your friends, so you can tell us the truth."

Anelina nods vigorously. "We'll always be there for you."

I smile. "Please don't worry about me. I'm doing fine, honest."

"That's such a relief," gushes Danila.

Anelina nods. "And we're so glad you'll be here for graduation."

"Yeah, awesome," Emily bursts.

We go on to talk about my life. The Dynamic Trio is shooting questions at me from all angles. They're fascinated with my former life and gasp at amazement at how I had escaped from Justin both times.

At a certain point I have to put an end at the conversation for the time being. I'm proud to say that I made good use of Mrs. Sanchez's cooking lessons and had made fried chicken Mexican style with hot sauce in the bread crumbs for my friends. Alfredo joins us at everyone's request. Danila, Anelina, and Emily gorge themselves saying the meal is great. Alfredo eats a lot too but keeps stopping to smile at me between bites. We're really smitten with one another.

All in all it's an awesome day.

That night I go to sleep with a full heart even though the shadow of the tragedy I had lived is still close on hand.

Justin:

I finally convince Henry to show me some more ghost tricks. As soon as he teaches me, he cackles with giddiness thinking that I'm going to use his get-into-dreams magic for revenge.

He tells me that he gets into his former wife's dreams all the time to haunt her. "She's never been able to have a long lasting relationship with another guy!" he bursts, snickering wildly. "You should do the same with Lucette and ruin her life now that she's ruined yours with your death. Revenge, buddy, that's where it's at!"

I shake my head.

I admit that payback was my main goal not too long ago, but something's happened to me. Revenge is the last thing on my mind. I mean, who am I going to get vengeance from? Myself? I've come to realize that I can't be blaming others for the crap that I do. I really wish I had realized this when I was alive.

Maybe I would've had a shot at true happiness if I had stopped being so intense all the time in my obsessions. If I would've put an end to trying to numb those insecurities with alcohol.

"Why are you shaking your head?" Henry bursts furiously.

I ask him if an angel made him have a life review.

He nods heatedly. "Yeah, I was made to go through one of those too, but I outsmarted it!"

"What do you mean?"

"I made myself concentrate on revenge."

I sigh. "Nothing of the review came through?"

Henry frowns. "Well, some of it forced itself into my psyche, but I slam the door shut on it!"

"You'd be surprised what you learn if you leave the door open."

Henry shakes his head vigorously. "Don't come to me with that crap! Revenge is all that should be on our minds! Our gals killed us!"

I sigh again. "We killed ourselves, Henry. You've got to come to terms with that. I have."

"Get out of here and don't you ever come back!"

I wasn't planning to. There's no way I wanted to live forever in revenge limbo like Henry.

I decided I'd do what I had to do in this dimension and then move on. So my first act of freeing myself from all the entanglements I have inside is to enter my mom's sleep. She looks like she's having a rough night. I had thought of talking to my father, but I know he's even harder headed than Henry. He refuses to acknowledge his damage.

No, it's my mother I have to talk to. I do what Henry showed me and concentrate on getting in her head. In her dreams, she's by a deep and ruthless river weeping and wondering if she should jump in and drown herself.

"Don't do it, Mom," I implore.

She turns her head and stares at me with astonishment, her face bright red with so many shed tears. "You're dead, my son. There's nothing left for me."

I embrace her. I'm thrilled than in dreams I can do this even with my vaporous self. She clutches me for dear life. "There's so much left for you, Mom."

She shakes her head with desperation. "I've got nothing."

"You've got _you,_ Mom, and that's a lot."

"Your father—"

"Forget him!" I snap.

"What?"

"Leave him!" I burst with emotion.

Her face turns to agony. "Maybe if I had left him a long time ago you'd be alive! You would've never become like him and lost your life because of it," she proclaims in despair.

I make her look at me. "Listen, Mom, stop that. The past is the past. It can't be changed, but you can change your life _now_."

"I don't see how!"

"Leave dad, Mom. You deserve to be let out of prison. You deserve some happiness. You know that you hardly ever smile? Leave him! Leave him now!—and never look back."

"Baby boy, I have no money, no relatives to take me in, so I have absolutely no way of leaving your dad!"

"Mom, be brave like Lucette. Follow her steps. Her example will show you the way."

My mom wakes up with a start, bouncing me out of her dreams. I guess what I had said had really gotten to her. I just hope she takes my advice.

Next, I go into Lucette's mind. In her dreams, she's at the park again, huddled under the bench and waiting for me.

She's having a nightmare about me!

"Don't be afraid of me," I murmur.

"You're a monster!" she keens.

"I know," I murmur.

"Have you got any idea what you've done to me?!"

"Now I do. I'm so so—"

Her face contorts angrily. "It's time that I stop being afraid of you!" She scoots out from under the bench and faces me directly.

I nod solemnly. "Good for you."

"Just so you know I'm not going to ever let you lay a hand on me again or say ugly things to me."

"Don't ever let anyone do that to you, Lucette. You're much too valuable."

"Get out of here then!"

"I will but first I have to tell you something."

"What is it?!" she snaps.

"Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

"What?!"

"Please forgive me."

She shakes her head incredulously. "How can you ask that of me?"

"I understand if you can't. I'm going very far away and I just needed to apologize to you before I left."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take responsibility and face the music."

She eyes me with astonishment. "Take responsibility?"

I nod. "Yeah, I've done a lot of bad things in my life and blamed others. The person I did the worse to is you, so I don't blame you for not forgiving me. Know that I'm disgusted with myself and really sorry for what I did to you. Know that."

She nods at me. I start to move towards a small bridge that just appeared. Thick white clouds surround it. I know that when I cross the little passage, I'll be out of this dimension. Lucette stares at me as I put one foot on it.

"Bye Lucette," I say, turning to face her before I finish leaving. "Please just consider forgiving me."

She nods slowly. "Okay, I'll consider it."

I smile at her. That she'll even consider it is enough to free some of the entangled knots I have inside.

"Goodbye, gutsy girl."

And I keep walking into the next dimension

Chapter 53

Lucette:

Graduation day came quickly. I'm in the ceremony listening to one of those mandatory uplifting speeches by a politician. I grin. I'm just glad I made it here. Just a short while ago, when I was a slave to Justin, it seemed like an impossibility.

I go inside my head to think of all the amazing things that have happened. So much has occurred! Can you believe that Justin's mother wrote me an email? When I was with Justin, I had sent her some thank you ones when she had Justin and me over to dinner, so she knew my email address.

In the note, she told me that she in no way blamed me for Justin's death. In fact, she apologized for not having done more for me when I was with her son.

Here's the kicker!

She thanked me for showing her the way. She escaped her husband the same way I did and is now starting a new life with the help of a battered women's shelter.

Most surprising of all is that she asserted that Justin had visited her in a dream and told her to follow my lead. Surprising, isn't it? The funny part is that Justin also came to me in a dream and asked for forgiveness. I wonder if this supernatural stuff is for real. Does Justin really need my forgiveness from the beyond? I've been asking myself that question over and over again.

As the ceremony comes to a close, I give a huge yelp as I throw up my cap. Finding my special friends and boyfriend, we head out to the Sanchezes for a fiesta. My parents had wanted to celebrate my graduation by taking me to Europe, but I really wanted to be surrounded by the people I had grown to love. Besides, I have to celebrate with the Dynamic Trio and Alfredo!

The Sanchezes went all out by decorating their house with graduation decorations. Outside, in their yard, there are dozens of tables full of the most remarkable Mexican food. Mariachis play their incredible and loud music. It's pretty awesome. Even my parents seem to be having a great time. Let me tell you that it's just so impossible not to be taken in by the Sanchez warmth.

Impossible!

When they give me a graduation gift, I start crying at their generosity. Mrs. Sanchez had sewn some beautiful clothes for when I get to college. I'm so touched and thrilled I'll be wearing garments she made with her own two hands.

At that point, I give her the graduation gift I had gotten my parents to give me. The astonishment in her eyes makes me giggle. She keeps staring at the deed to her house. Behind her, Mr. Sanchez also stares at it open mouthed.

"No, we can't take this," Mrs. Sanchez mutters, trying to hand it back to me.

I cross my arms in front of me, so she can't give it to me. "You'll insult me if you don't take it," I say sternly.

My parents stand up from where they're sitting and go to the Sanchezes. "Yes, you'll insult us if you don't take it," my mother chimes in.

"But it's too much," Mr. Sanchez murmurs.

My father shakes his head. "It's not anywhere near as much as you've done for my daughter. A million of these deeds wouldn't even begin to cover it."

"And we don't accept you not taking it!" my mother bursts. "We're so grateful to you. Please don't deny us the pleasure of doing something for you for a change."

Mrs. Sanchez slowly nods, her eyes watery. "Okay."

"Thank you so much," Mr. Sanchez murmurs with his own eyes brimming with tears.

I'm just so thrilled, so full of love and happiness at the moment. My life is pretty awesome right now, and I'm about to start a new adventure. In a few months I'll be starting college at UT El Paso. The Dynamic Trio and Alfredo will be starting school in the same place. I don't know what the future holds for Alfredo and me, but I do know that I can now trust myself with making good decisions.

Life is good.

### More, More, More

Mia's novels—some with sequels! Get to know her work. Take advantage of the price-less downloads for now!

Tween:

The Warriors Club

Young Adult:

Planet High School

Lucky Lucette

Lovestruck/ Sequel: The Key of Hearts

Paradise Abductions/ Sequel: Paradise Escape

Supernova

Adult:

Flowers For The Living

My Mama's Tamales

Pride and Preference

Broken Watermelons

Forever Hearts/ Sequel: Forever Destiny

Paranormal Revenge

A Beautiful Haunting

Spiritual:

GodQuest

A Christmas Passage/ Same series: Angel Gifts

