(disgusted noises)
- It doesn't get better.
- These are kids' drawings.
I do these all the time.
I understand kids.
I am a kid,
It's gonna be easy.
- I know nothing about
art, but I have kids,
so I feel like I'm an
expert in children's art.
- I think I'll be able
to do well, only because
I have the artistic ability of a toddler.
- I think I'm gonna kick ass at this.
- Is this a competition?
- This looks like an accident.
- It looks kind of like a gymnast.
- A dancer on a bloody mountain.
- It's a person doing a
handstand with its legs.
- With a giant dick?
- Did you think a penis?
- Maybe.
- It's very free-flowing...
- It's very phallic.
- What would you call this?
- Shrimp dick.
- Child.
(ding) - Yay!
- You have to have an
innocent mind to know
that this is not a ding-a-ling-a-dong.
- Oh, honey, you drew a car.
- I'm gonna put it on the fridge
for a week and then take it down
once you forget about it.
- I think that this was drawn by a toddler
who had a recent new member of the family
and is frustrated about it,
so has drawn a baby carriage on fire.
- Or like toast.
Like a piece of toast.
- This is modern art.
- That legitimately looks like my son,
my four-year-old son, tried to draw a car.
- Change it, trust me.
- No!
- Child.
- Child.
- Art.
(ding) What?
- Oh!
Man, I feel like this could go either way.
- I think this is real.
- Okay, first of all,
just because a kid drew it
doesn't mean it's not real.
- Are we just gonna disagree
on every single one?
- This is not interesting to me.
- Well, you don't know all the context.
- What do you see?
- I see colors.
- It's a kid.
(buzzer) No!
- Yes!
- Another point for us.
- See, the perfect square.
- This is either the
reject from the T-shirt
I tried to make at
summer camp, or the most
brilliant piece of art
I've ever seen in my life.
- My kid would do that.
- He would paste a piece of bark
on a paper and splatter some paint on it.
And now I don't know what's real.
- Kids are a nightmare.
- This sort of seems like a
toddler's scream on paper.
- This happened.
- It's like an explosion of flavor.
- I'm gonna go with art.
Just because of the splatter method.
- If this is real art,
this has the most absurd intense name.
Like long name.
This would be called like,
Saturday in the Park After Joan Left,
The Grapes Were Okay, Sun is Setting.
- So far I've realized that
everything I think is wrong.
I think this is modern art,
so I'm going to say it was a child.
(buzzer)
- Oh, are you kidding me.
- Boobs!
- That is a little-headed
person with big boobs.
- Once kids learn that they
have different body parts,
it's all they can think of.
A kid will just be like,
Hi, I have boobs.
It looks like crayon, right.
But no, actually the ink is bleeding here.
The nipple, the left
nipple's a dead giveaway.
I really hope that a kid wasn't like,
I drew my mom!
If my kid brought this home,
this would go on the fridge.
(ding)
- No!
- See!
- Hey!
- I'm pissed.
- Of all the art that we've seen today,
this is the one that I'm most likely
to take a selfie with,
so, mission accomplished.
- I think I did okay.
- You did horribly, Nicki.
- I feel like I should be keeping
more of my son's pictures,
because maybe one day they'll
be worth a lot of money.
- We did great.
- Uh-huh.
- I think anything's art
if you want it to be art,
even if a little kid drew it.
You're not gonna pose with me?
- I'm sorry.
- Someone could draw us, oh man,
if anyone out there wants to draw us,
we would be good art.
Hold for a painting that
someone's gonna make of us.
