- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Hey Craig, how was your weekend?
- I was going to plant azaleas,
but the soil was too damp.
I went to the hardware store
instead, just to browse.
- I'm surprised you had
that much free time.
I was here all weekend
finishing my quarterly report.
- Oh no, the quarterly
report! I totally blanked!
Terry is gonna kill me!
(footsteps thudding)
(Terry roaring)
- Hey Craig, I noticed that your report
was absent from my desk this morning,
hi, Todd, how are you?
- I can't complain.
- Craig, do you have any idea
what could have happened with that?
- I'm so sorry, Terry.
It slipped my mind.
I've been so busy with the Q2.
- Well, now, no, I know you've
been working hard lately.
Just get those reports
to me as soon as you can.
- I will get them to you
by the end of the day.
- That sounds great.
Hey, do you guys want
to grab an early lunch?
- Ooh, no can do, Terry.
I brought leftovers.
My wife made too much lentil loaf.
- I'm trying to lose weight now
so I can put it back on
when I go on vacation.
- Alrighty, then, I guess I'll just grab
something around here.
(Terry roaring)
(crunching and chewing)
- Hey, do you want me to print this out
or send it via email?
- Hm, maybe both, just to be safe.
(Terry growling and chewing)
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
(keyboard clicking)
- Did you catch the game last night?
- No, was it good?
- I didn't see it, my wife rented a movie.
We only have one television.
- Oh great, my computer froze.
I haven't saved in over an hour.
- Try restarting. Maybe it auto-saved.
- Ah, now it's just a blank screen.
- Too bad my son isn't here.
He's a whiz with computers.
- It's not a big deal. I'll just take it.
- Hey, Craigo, heard you're
having problems with your CPU.
- It could be the router.
- You should try restarting.
- Or maybe you downloaded a virus.
- How about rebooting?
Did you reboot it? We good?
- When was the last time you updated
your antivirus software profile?
- Shame my son Carl's not here.
Kid is great with computers.
- Did you guys see the new
cups in the break room?
- We're fixing Craig's computer.
- You should try rebooting.
- Thank you!
- Too bad my son isn't here.
- Is he good with computers?
- Aren't all teenagers?
- My son is a teenager!
(Craig roaring)
(computer crashing)
(walls crashing)
You guys see the game last night?
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- I can't believe Hawaiian
shirt day isn't until the 20th.
I'm so embarrassed!
- Hey, Richard, can I, can
I see you in my office?
- What's all that about?
- I bet it's downsizing.
Last week, Terry ate the
marketing department.
- They weren't hitting their numbers.
- Sheila, can I have a word?
- I should have used my vacation
days when I had the chance!
- She didn't have what it takes
to survive in the cutthroat
world of business!
- Terry will eat me for sure,
what with today's Hawaiian shirt snafu.
- Todd, can you pop in here?
- This is my own fault.
I should have kept up
with industry trends.
- Craig, why don't you join us?
(door creaking)
- [Group] Surprise!
- You guys totally had me going.
I thought Terry was eating everyone.
(group laughing)
- Nobody's being eaten today.
'Cept this intern.
- Happy birthday, sir.
- You guys shouldn't have.
(blows out candle)
(Terry roaring)
- Anyone else want a piece?
There's plenty to go around.
- Thanks, but I'm an herbivore.
- Me too.
- I have diabetes!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Ugh, don't even talk to me
until I've had my morning coffee.
- Okay.
- I was kidding. You can talk to me.
- Hey, put on the news.
They're talking about the asteroid.
- Good morning, Pangaea.
- Where do they find these weather girls?
They're so skinny!
- An asteroid warning is in effect
for all of the supercontinent.
- I hope we can work from home tomorrow.
Traffic is going to be a nightmare.
- Expect scattered showers later,
leading into a level five asteroid
ending life as we know it.
- They always blow these
things out of proportion.
It's all about the ratings.
- Just like that volcano last week,
it was supposed to scorch the earth.
It only scorched half of the earth.
- My neighbors across the
street were incinerated.
But we didn't even lose power.
- This just in,
the asteroid is going to be
smaller than anticipated.
- See? It was a big deal over nothing.
- And it's headed straight
for the office of DinoCorp Incorporated.
(asteroid whistling)
- Oh no!
(asteroid crashing)
I have stock in that company!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- [Radio Announcer] And
what's with these omnivores?
I mean, you either eat meat or you don't.
Every red-blooded carnivore knows-
- Can you turn this off? I
don't agree with his opinions.
- [Radio Announcer] Till the day I die.
- Well, that's just great,
the freeway is totally gridlocked.
- It's bumper to bumper.
We should have gotten on I-95.
- Hindsight is 20/20.
(horns honking)
- Must have been an accident.
I hope everyone has insurance.
- It's probably just rubbernecking.
We're definitely going to be late.
I'm calling the boss.
- I'll do it.
It's illegal to use a cell phone
while operating a motor vehicle.
(phone ringing)
(Terry straining and groaning)
No answer. I'd email him,
but I don't own a smartphone.
- I hope he doesn't make
us use a personal day.
(tires squealing)
(car crashing)
- Ah, a fender bender. Can this
come commute get any worse?
(footsteps thudding)
(dinosaur roaring)
(car crashes)
Talk about road rage!
- We should exchange information.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Tonight, I'm going to check out
that new Italian restaurant.
- Are you going on a hot date?
- I'm going alone, but I'll
probably bring a newspaper.
- You should take the new
secretary, she's cute.
(Secretary screeching)
- She looks like she's busy.
Besides, she's way out of my league.
- Well, you could always ask me out.
- Good one, Sheila.
You're right. I'll go talk to her.
Hi, I'm Craig.
(Secretary screeching)
Coffee, huh? Maybe we should
get coffee together some time.
(Secretary screeching)
I'm sorry. Forget I said anything.
- Craigo, saw you chatting
up the new secretary.
How'd it go?
- Poorly. She's happily married.
She has two kids.
- You asked out a married woman?
That's so embarrassing!
Are you embarrassed?
Hey, everyone, be nice to Craigo today!
He's embarrassed because he
just asked out a married woman!
(Craig roaring)
(crashing)
(dinosaurs roaring and fighting)
- Men are such animals!
(Secretary screeching)
(crashing)
Girls night out!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Can you believe what's
happening in politics?
- Craigo, check your email!
Just forwarded you a grade-A web clip.
- What up, DinoVidz?
I'm Nestor, and this is a volcano jump.
(wheels rolling)
(volcano erupting)
- [Cameraman] Nestor,
are you all right, man?
(group laughing uproariously)
- He shoulda worn a helmet.
- Here's one, dumb
triceratops can't juggle!
That sounds hilarious.
- I should really get
back to work, you guys,
these documents aren't
going to staple themselves.
- Craigo's right, last one!
- Wait, that's not what I-
I'm Craig, and welcome
to Juggle University.
- Craig, I didn't know you could juggle!
- This is not a good use of company time!
Wait.
(scuffling)
(crashing)
This is not part of the demonstration.
(Todd and Richard laughing uproariously)
- Well, I thought your
movie was very nice.
- If I hadn't already ordered a pizza,
I wouldn't have been found for days.
- Oh look, there's also a
video of Craigo telling jokes!
(mouse clicks)
Huh.
- [Craig in video]
Hello, my name is Craig-
- This one is not funny.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Ooh, who brought these? (crunching)
- That's my plus one, sir.
(romantic music)
- Keep it together, Craig.
Say something charming.
Most people prefer brand name ginger ale,
but honestly, I can't tell the difference.
- (laughs nervously) That's very sensible.
- Why pay extra for a fancy label?
- (laughing obnoxiously)
You're so funny, Craig.
Do you do stand up comedy?
- Anyway, I'm Craig.
- Amelia. Nice to meet you.
- Whoa, TMI, too much information.
- So, Amelia. Do you like movies?
- I love movies!
- Um, yeah. Movies are fine.
(Sheila groans)
- [Sheila] You're not
gonna believe this, Craig!
There's a cashew in the
almond bowl! Come see!
- Uh, I really like your tie.
- [Sheila] You tramp!
(roaring and fighting)
- Look at her. Have you ever
seen a more beautiful bill?
(Sheila screaming)
- I know. That's why I married her.
Hey, where's your wife?
- I live with my mother.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Hey, how was everything, fellas?
- My salad dressing wasn't
on the side as requested.
- Oh, sorry about that, sir.
Hey, how about a choco
volcano blaster, on the house?
- I'm trying to lay off the sweets.
It's my new year's resolution.
- I need a new soda.
- I just brought you one.
- I asked for no ice.
That's how they get ya.
- How about that sports game?
I think the coach made poor decisions.
- Excuse me, I have a coupon,
but I left it at home.
- I'm sorry, sir, but
you need to have it here.
- Ooh, $30? Let's just split it evenly.
- But I didn't get a beverage.
- Hold up, Toddster,
you had that appeteaser.
- We all partook in the
spinach artichoke dip, Richard.
I'll put in 8.75. That's
my share plus tax.
- I have $3.
- Fine. I'll get the rest.
Oh no! We forgot about gratuity!
- His service wasn't exemplary.
- I'll leave him a nice note instead.
(scribbling)
- Thanks, gentlemen. You guys have a...
(window crashing)
(roaring)
- Wait, we're missing something!
(roaring)
(thumping)
I forgot my to-go box!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Craigo, I gotta use the bathroom!
Mind watching my son, Carl?
- I'm 13, you idiot! I don't
need anyone to watch me!
- Ha! Yeah, okay, last
time we left him alone,
he set off fireworks
in the master bedroom.
He's a handful, but I love him.
- Uuh.
- Thanks, Craigo!
- Where are your kids?
- I don't have any.
I'm waiting for Mrs. Right.
- You're boring. I hate you!
- See, Duncan, when you grow up,
you'll be able to drink
water, just like your old man.
- Ooh, you gonna eat that?
- I was hoping to watch it grow up.
- Suit yourself.
- Oh no, Mom, you're out of staples!
- They give us as many as we want!
- Yay!
- Oh, is this little Gretchen?
They are so adorable at
that age, and delicious.
- Being a single mother is
difficult, but rewarding!
- Are you sure you're allowed to do this?
(banging and crashing)
- Yeah, my dad said it was fine!
- I, ow, would, ow, prefer, ow, if, ow,
you, ow, stopped, ow.
(Terry roaring)
- This place is a mess!
Looks like my son's room.
- I love kids.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
(elevator dings)
- Craig.
- Sheila.
(elevator clunks)
Ugh, we're stuck.
I knew I should've taken the stairs.
I need the exercise.
- Doesn't look like we'll be
going anywhere anytime soon.
So, got any big weekend plans?
- You know it, I rented a movie.
- My weekend is wide open,
and I find movies very entertaining.
- The video store closes
at eight on weeknights.
So you should have plenty
of time to go after work.
- It would also be nice
to get out of the house
and try a new restaurant,
but all my gal pals are out of town.
- I find cooking for yourself
is a great way to save money
in these difficult economic times.
- Oh, I'd love a private cooking lesson
from Chef Craig sometime.
- That won't be necessary.
With all the recipes online,
the web is your cookbook.
- Craig, I have romantic feelings for you!
- Uh, uh, I need to get back to work!
(clanking)
(crashing)
- Why do you always fall
for the bad boy, Sheila?
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Hey, gang, I'm Danny, and
I'm a team building expert.
Today, we're gonna boost
morale and have fun doing it.
- Yeah!
(group applauding weakly)
- Icebreaker time, everyone say your name
and a fun fact about yourself, go.
- My name's Craig, and
I enjoy the newspaper.
- Don't hold back, Craig,
tell us something really
interesting about yourself.
- My name's Craig, and I
enjoy gardening magazines.
- All right, let's change gears.
I need a volunteer to wear this blindfold.
Now it's your job to guess
the secret object here.
Impossible, it would be
without your coworkers givin' you hints.
Come on, gang!
- It's high in carbohydrates.
- Simple or complex?
- Let's stay focused on
the big picture, okay?
Now, when I look at this,
I see something round,
something you can eat.
- Oh, I know! It's a donut!
- You are not the guesser.
- If it's a donut, it's a simple carb.
- Let's try something
very simple. Trust falls!
Okay, Sheila, you lean back,
Terry, you catch her.
That's it! You can do this, guys.
- I trust you!
(Terry straining)
(thumps)
- I'm impressed by how wrong that was.
- Excuse me, sir.
I have back problems.
May I lend Todd my grocery
store discount card instead?
- No!
- Why not? That's the
ultimate symbol of trust!
(desk crashing)
- Is this a joke to you?!
I am a highly trained
teambuilding professional!
Your company purchased
the platinum package,
and I'm gonna make you a team,
whether you like it or no-
(Terry crunching)
- Hey, I caught him!
- Terry, you're an asset to our team.
- Someone please contact
my healthcare provider.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- I'm not who you think I am, Maria.
I'm my brother!
(Maria gasps)
(smooching)
- Don't listen to him, Maria!
He'll only break your heart.
(phone rings)
Ugh.
- Hey, Craig, heard you were sick.
Do you have a 24-hour stomach bug?
There's one going around.
- Can't talk, faked sick to
see "Dinosaur Hospital" finale.
Getting steamy, gotta go.
- I should have pushed
you into that volcano
instead of your brother!
- Who says you didn't?
(Maria gasps)
(smooching)
- What?!
(phone rings)
(Craig grunts)
- Craig! I'm so worried about you.
Do you have a temperature?
Are you staying properly hydrated?
Flat soda can calm an
upset stomach! Eat soup!
Keep your legs elevated!
We'll get through this, Cra-
(phone rings)
- Ugh.
- Hi, Craig, how you feelin'?
- (coughs weakly) Not good.
I should go. Experiencing
flu-like symptoms.
- [Terry] Somebody
should've gotten a flu shot.
You know what they say,
prevention is the best medicine.
- Good advice, gotta rest. Bye!
- [Terry] Wait, real quick.
What, what is the name of the
guy that sits next to you?
- Todd!
- Oh, Todd, of course.
Huh, had a question about Todd.
But now I can't remember it.
What was it about?
Oh yeah, do you know Todd's email address?
- Ask Todd!
Nooo!
- [Announcer] Comin' up next,
it's "The Price is Rawr!"
- Now we'll have to figure out
how to watch it on the internet.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Just ordered new checks this morning.
They look like the beach.
(coffee dripping)
- Ugh, someone finished the coffee
without making a fresh pot.
Can you be anymore inconsiderate?
- That's strange. There's
none in the cabinet.
There's none in any of the cabinets!
- Oh no!
- I can't start my day without
a fresh brewed cup of joe.
- Stay with me, Todd.
I treated myself to a
frappuccino this morning.
I should have the energy for a coffee run.
(triumphant music)
- My daughter is trying
out for cheerleading!
- Aw, that'll look great on
her college applications!
- Hang in there! I'll save you!
- What?
(engine racing)
(tires squealing)
- I need four coffees, hazelnut!
- Would you like to sign up
for a Rawrbucks rewards card?
You'll save 10% on all purchases.
- I would be crazy not to!
(pen scribbling)
(Craig roaring distantly)
- I told you he'd come back for us!
(crashing)
- Everyone owes me 2.75!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Yeah, yes, yes!
- The hardest part for me is
getting myself to the gym.
I don't mind it once I'm here.
- It's tough to motivate
yourself after a long day
at the office.
- And I could do without the meatheads.
- Crush it, T-roc, crush it, T! Crush it!
T-roc's made of stone! Woo!
- I wouldn't even want a body like that.
I'm just trying to get
down to a healthy size.
- Those bozos overlook
the importance of cardio.
A healthy heart is its own reward.
- Yo Bryce, Bryce, Bryce man, Bryce,
Bryce, yo Bryce, Bryce.
Yo, what up?
- Ugh, let's just skip the
cool down and grab a smoothie.
- No, I'm not letting this clown ruin
my week-long trial membership.
Uh, excuse me?
- Yo, let me get a spot?
- Actually, I was hoping.
- Nice, nice, nice, nice.
- Wow. That's a lot of weight.
- Can't quit this, T-roc, can't quit this!
Yeah, nice! Yo, hornman,
you gotta rack this!
- I can't.
(clunk)
Oh no.
(crashing)
This is what I get for not stretching.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Everyone, I've got some exciting news.
The company has been sold.
- Oh no.
- Redundancy!
- My 401K!
- Don't worry, as long as
I'm here, your jobs are safe.
In fact, some of you might
even end up in management.
And now, please welcome
your new CEO, Bruce Veloci!
- The company is dead, people.
(group gasping)
All these years, you've been
working at DinoSoft Limited.
Welcome to DinoSoft Unlimited,
where the possibilities have no limits.
(group reacting appreciatively)
Any questions?
- Will you keep bran muffin Tuesdays?
- Try bran muffin everydays!
- What?
- Amazing!
- Yeah!
- All right!
- What's your policy
on Hawaiian shirt day?
- My policy is aloha.
- Oh wow!
- Makin' Hawaii, I love it!
- What are your longterm goals?
- Excellent question.
(window crashing)
- No!
- For a nerd.
I've been the CEO of 10
different companies this quarter,
and I didn't do it by
thinking about the future.
Any more right now questions?
- Hi, I'm Richard. I work here.
Will there be opportunities
for advancement
at DinoSoft Unlimited?
- Uh, you tell me, new general manager.
- Wow, thanks, Dad!
- Not your dad.
- Ah, actually? Hi, Bruce,
I'm the general manager.
- Not anymore. I just fired you.
- I understand.
(Terry sobbing)
(walls crashing)
- What a meeting, eh, Craigo?
You got Hawaiian shirt day,
and I'm everyone's boss now!
- Yes, that was unexpected.
- I got to call my wife
and tell her the good news.
Do you know how to use a phone?
(Terry wailing)
- [Craig] To be continued!
Previously on "Dinosaur Office."
- I bought the company.
- I got fired.
- I'm the boss now!
- Bran muffins every day.
- [Group] Yay!
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- If you're not clipping coupons,
you're throwing money away.
- Well, if it isn't my
two favorite employees,
you and you.
- Hey, Bruce, when are those
bran muffins getting here?
I skipped breakfast.
- Ooh, Richard was point
man on the b-muffins.
I'll get an update.
- Bruce wanted me to tell you guys
that every day is still bran muffin day,
but you have to buy it yourself.
And eat it at home.
- Loving that shirt,
you. Surf's up, right?
- Craigo, can't wear that shirt, bud.
Bruce says he hates Hawaii.
- You guys are doing a bang-up job!
- Bruce says you two are doing a bad job,
and that I have to eat you.
Nothing personal, Toddster.
(Richard munching)
- That's it! I'm gonna go talk to him!
- Yeah, babe. I'm crushing it.
The way I got these suckers working
is completely unsustainable.
Jack up the value in the short
term, sell, maximum profit.
- Help me!
- They go out of business,
we go on vacation.
No, not to Hawaii, I hate Hawaii.
(Bruce crunching noisily)
- Oh no! I have to save the company!
The only way I know how,
with a PowerPoint presentation!
- [Sheila] To be continued!
Previously, on "Dinosaur Office."
- I'm the new CEO, and I'm
ruining the company to get rich.
- I'm gonna give a PowerPoint presentation
to change his mind.
- I never got the bran
muffins I was promised.
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office, rawr!
- Are you using the proper VGA cable?
- Yes, Todd. Oh, there it goes.
Mr. Veloci, you're about
to sacrifice this company
to make a quick buck at
your employees' expense.
You're making a big mistake.
DinoSoft is more than just a company.
It's hilarious water cooler observations.
Here's Todd telling me how
he feels about gas prices.
- They're outrageous!
- It's thought-provoking chain emails.
This one explains how climate trends
predict a catastrophic ice age.
- I read it on the internet!
- It's donating to your
coworker's 5K charity stampede.
- I've never been so afraid!
- In conclusion, Mr. Veloci,
you can work these dinos
until they're extinct,
but you'll never be
rich without friendship!
(Richard laughing crazily)
(group applauding)
- Whoa, Craig!
- Wow, great work, Craig.
That was terrawful.
I had to make a word for how bad it was.
(group gasps)
I was going to sell the company,
but you've convinced me that
it's completely worthless.
I'm out of here.
- Does that mean we get to keep our jobs?
- I don't care. Do whatever you-
(wall crashing)
(Terry roaring)
(Terry munching)
- I did it! Right?
I saved the company!
- Actually, Bruce just quit.
- All thanks to Craig's presentation!
♪ For he's a jolly good Craigo ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good Craigo ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good Craigo ♪
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪
- [Craig and Todd] Dinosaur Office.
- Happy New Year!
- My New Year's resolution
is to clean the garage.
There's too much clutter.
Hey, Craig, you gonna stay up
to see the meteor drop for once?
(Sheila and Richard laughing uproariously)
- Yeah!
- Lay off, Todd.
I'm not missing the end
of the Triassic period.
I'm gonna stay up later
than any of you bozos!
- You're on! Ready, set, go!
(bell dings)
(timer ticking)
- See, Craigo, the key to stayin' awake
is eatin' coffee and drinkin' candy!
Coffee, candy, candy, coffee, woo!
- Aren't you worried about crashing?
(Richard snoring)
(Craig sneezes)
- Craig, do you want some
of my sinus medication?
I'm concerned for you.
- Wait, do you take this? It's drowsy.
- Oh no!
(clunks)
- Looks like it's just you and me, Todd.
What's your strategy?
- I'm reading a Clive Cusslersaurus novel.
It's an action packed thrill
ride from start to finish.
And, done. (yawns) Uh oh.
(Todd snoring)
- [TV Announcer] And it
looks like the meteor
is almost here.
Three, two, one!
Happy New Ye- (screaming)
- I did it!
Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig, Craig!
- Craig! Craig!
- Oh no! Did I sleep through New Years?
- It's Monday morning.
You slept through the
entire holiday weekend.
- Ugh, I don't even feel rested!
