Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it
I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride
Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag
Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit
I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying
I'm thieving like a really really really big baby that's hangry
I'm scoping out the aisle ain't nobody checking me out
Everything I'm after in a minute see yea it's going in my pouch
They won't dare to arrest me cause not a single one of you undercovers can catch me
That may be cause I'm really good at
waiting really patient if I say I'm gonna take it
Then I try to be calm and try to be smooth keep cool that's it
Can a single one of you money suckers see my bag? Shit
Notice how I sit and I wait get a glimpse look away
Now days everybody getting paid shits lame
I just watch and I gaze when I see em and I need em I know I'm eating what I'm stealing when I'm filling this I'm feeding myself
Yea yea gotta yoink cause I'm keeping my wealth
Mass thieving like this can't be good for my stealth
When I rob like this am I obvious?
Well it don't really matter cause I'm stealing that shit
Yea I'm stealing that shit oh yea oh yea I'm stealing that shit
Lady how many times you been stealing that shit?
I do it all the time my bad I'm a dick
Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it
I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride
Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag
Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit
I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying
I'm thieving like a really really really really really really really really really broke lady
There's no one in line I gotta dip when it's time hit em with that loot loot loot
Then I slide I'm gon' leave em stupefied I'm gonna lift till I die
I got sausage I want those I got both SpaghettiO's
No I ain't done with just that
Yea there's a time to escape but if you ain't come out with the biggest of sacks
Copping myself the greatest of finds then I load my purse up with that
No no oh no no I shouldn't get snacks
I'm gon' get fat, I'm gon' take all four them bags
I'm gon' take popcorn to smash, I'm gon' take lots more then dash
Robbing stores
Scumbag coming into scavenge cause I'm petty got a habit Imma jack it
I'm not spending a penny cause see I stuff that roll up in the ride
Ain't no way to tell I'm keeping no money to buy keep no loot inside my duff bag
Probably cause I'm filling it by stealing shit
I come in with a plan cause I'm shady I leave without paying
I'm thieving like a really really really really really really really really really broke lady
Did a tall, did a tall man in a hat leave?
I'm sorry?
Did a tall man getting gas leave yet?
I have no idea
Yo get back in here! Get back in here now!
I saw everything you stole
I didn't take anything
Dude, open up your bag
Open up your bag
Take it out!
We have you on camera
Either that or you can deal with the police
Alright now let's break this down
right here this nice lady's gonna open
the door for she's gonna come inside
look up at the counter you know always
gotta look up at the counter then she's
gonna bite her nail and she's gonna make her
way into the chip aisle she's got that
look of confusion on her face now she's
gonna start looking at all of the huge
bags of chips now those are way too big
to fit inside your purse you know that
would take up most of the space so she's
gonna keep working her way down no she
doesn't want combos she doesn't want
bugles she's gonna make her way towards
that famous middle aisle oh snap look at
that canned goods section that's a
pretty good selection so she's gonna
look up make sure that customers not
paying attention to her last thing you
want is a paying customer to rat you out
one more look yep he is going up to the
counter the clerks about to be busy I
think I found what I want yep she's
ringing him up I think I'll take one
Vienna sausage look up the counter one
more time you know what one's not gonna
do I'm gonna grab two look at the counter
yeah they're busy so I think I'm just
gonna shove those right into my purse
but wait she's not done yet she found
the SpaghettiOs now looks like she's
still in the clear she's gonna take one
she's gonna take two SpaghettiOs boom
right into the purse she's gonna pull her
purse up then she's gonna give that look
of confusion like I don't know what I
want man I don't think they have what I
want here I'm just gonna keep standing
here looking around like I don't know
what I want you know as long as it looks
like I don't know what I want then
they'll think I didn't want to buy
anything you know what I'm saying
but she knows what she wants she wants
some Vienna sausages ew
who eats those things who buys those
things apparently nobody they steal them
so she's gonna look up at the counter she's
good she found the popcorn it's movie
night now she's him grab one nope one's
not enough two three four she's gonna
grab four bags of popcorn then she's
gonna make her way over here towards the
wine rack and oh this is a perfect spot
you know far away hidden from the
register yep let's just slip those bags
into my purse and we good we're on the
homestretch alright I gotta finish
off strong my purse is nice and
concealed only one thing left to do I
got to talk to the cashier you know as
long as you talk to the cashier they
won't think you're a thief
So I'm just gonna ask her a dumb question
Did a tall, did a tall man in a hat leave?
Oh dang she doesn't know
Haha alright plan worked perfectly she definitely doesn't think I'm a thief now gotta leave
I didn't take anything
So she continues
to deny it she's gonna make her way towards
the car she's gonna throw the purse into
the backseat and she's gonna try closing
her door on my coworker now uh oh here
comes the boss lady she's a black belt
that's less person you want to piss off
now she's gonna try and run her over
So she decides to give up she starts
unloading her purse the boss lady has no
clue how much she stole so she's
mind-blown right now at how much she's
pulling out she even tried giving back a
pack of women's razors before she
realized oh crap I didn't steal those
from here so she obviously stole them
from somewhere else so we think we got
everything back and then after we go
inside to review the footage we realized
she boned us on a Vienna Sausage, she gone!
