Are you dealing with a narcissist in a court
setting and just think everybody is constantly
believing this person and you just can't get
a break? Well, okay. This is your day. Because
by the end of this video, you're going to
know exactly how to expose that narcissist
in court so that you can shift the dynamic
and finally start seeing things going your
way.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, top 1% Attorney and
the bestselling author of the books Negotiate
Like You Matter and Breaking Free: A Step
by Step Divorce Guide. And I've helped thousands
of people go from lives of drama, trauma,
and chaos, all the way into stepping into
lives of freedom, possibility, and purpose.
And I do the same thing for you right here
on this channel. So make sure you've subscribed
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content.
Now, you're dealing with a narcissist in a
court setting and you're feeling like they
just always get their way. I've dealt with
it so many times where people will come into
my office, even in the beginning of a case
and say, "I think that they're going to fool
everyone. Because the person who's the narcissist
is going to win, is going to get everybody
to believe that they're wonderful and I'm
horrible."
And narcissists do start their smear campaigns
in that discard phase. And if you want to
know more about what the signs are of a smear
campaign, definitely check out my video on
Signs of a Narcissist Smear Campaign. But
once that smear campaign stars, they're in
this mode of trying to make sure that you're
the one that looks bad and they're the one
that looks good. So they're going to be love
bombing everybody in the system, including
the judges, including their lawyer, your lawyer
even.
And if there's a custody evaluator involved,
they're going to be love bombing that person.
And they're going to be trying to make you
look like you're the bad one. So they may
be filing bogus motions. They may be calling
you an abuser. Really horrible things. I've
seen really good parents be the victim of
the other parents say, "That parent is an
abuser or that parent is unfit or that parent
is a drug addict," or something like that.
And you're sitting there thinking, "I'm having
coffee in my house. I don't really know."
But they start that. And they not only say
it to people sometimes, they actually even
put it in pleadings. You'll actually see a
motion or something that is filled with lies.
And you think, "How are they getting away
with this? How are they getting away with
this?" I can't tell you how many clients I've
heard say to me, "How are they getting away
with this?" Well, let me just first address
that.
The one thing that you have to remember is
that the only person who has any power to
order somebody to do something is the judge.
No one else. I actually had a client say to
me, "You've done nothing to control him and
his behavior." And I remember thinking, "What
would I do other than file motions?" Because
that's the power that your lawyer has, is
to file something with the court. But remember
when something is filed with the court, it
just sits there in the clerk's file, doesn't
do anything until a hearing is actually had.
Because those filings are, for the most part,
not evidence that can be accepted into the
court system, actually in a hearing setting.
So once that motion is filed, then you can
go in front of a judge. And that's how you
can start exposing the narcissist in court.
How do you do it? You do it by not actually
saying the person is in our success. Don't
use the word narcissist in court. I actually
have a whole video on that. Make sure you
check that out on whether you can even use
the word narcissist in court. But what you're
going to do is you're going to actually have
other ways that you can expose this narcissist
for their behavior.
And you do that very systematically. There's
no magic wand. There's no go buy this thing.
And that's going to be the thing, other than
the S.L.A.Y. Program, because the S.L.A.Y.
Program will show you how to do that. But
what you're going to be doing is creating
documentation and exhibits that actually systematically
show that that person is a bad person and
you want to do it in light of the statutes,
in light of something that the judge is going
to care about, because remember the judge
has to apply the law. That's the judge's job.
So what a judge will do is they'll listen
to that side. They'll listen to this side.
But remember they just get a little teeny
snapshot. You might've been dealing with this
person for 15 or 20 years. You get a couple
of hours in front of a judge to expose this
person. So you want to make sure it's good.
You want to make sure that it packs a punch.
So you're going to create summaries, for example,
of when the person lied and then have all
your supporting documentation attached to
it. Or create summaries of when they didn't
pick up the kids or didn't show up on time
or badmouthed you. Something like that. But
you're going to do it in light of the statute.
So if the best interest of the child statute
says that parents are supposed to foster a
close and continuing relationship between
the children and the other parent. And you've
got tons of text messages where they're saying
to the kids that the other parent is an alcoholic
or neglectful, doesn't want you or something
like that. Those become wonderful trial exhibits.
So, you're actually giving the judge something
that they can hold on to, that they can use
when they're applying that law, that actually
gives you the results that you actually want.
Just going in and saying, "That person is
a narcissist." Isn't going to get you anywhere.
So, that's not how you expose them. You expose
them by actually doing your homework, which
a lot of that, I have a 45 page workbook in
the S.L.A.Y. Program. So you should definitely
check that out. But that's how you're ultimately
going to expose them, by systematically using
the information that you have and putting
it together in light of the statutes that
the judge is actually going to care about.
That's how you will expose them.
And if you are so ready to expose that narcissist
in court, give me an Expose the Truth, in
the comments. So remember that narcissists
feed off of narcissistic supply. And one of
the things that they're and do is try to get
all the judges and everybody to love them.
So what you want to do is create leverage
by figuring out which person in the system
they're going to respect the most, which is
probably the judge, and then create leverage,
which is going to potentially threaten to
expose them for who they are.
And if you want to know more about leverage,
definitely check out my video on creating
leverage. But that's going to be one of the
whole keys to this whole thing. That's the
L in my S.L.A.Y. Program. So S is Strategy
and L is leverage. So you want to create this
leverage that's going to threaten to expose
them. And that way they potentially might
even settle. And I know a lot of people think,
"Oh, nobody ever settles with a narcissist.
You can never get them to settle." But that
is so not true. If you threaten a supply source
that's more important for them to keep than
the supply that they get from jerking you
around in the system, you will be able to
resolve your case.
So if you are getting ready to negotiate with
the narcissist, make sure you grab my free
Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet. Don't
walk into a negotiation setting without it.
It's basically an ebook. And you can get it
at winmynegotiation.com or just click the
link below. If you liked this video, give
it a like, give it a share, especially if
you think somebody else could benefit from
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Subscribe, hit that notification bell.
If you are dealing with a narcissist and you
want more support, come and join me in my
free private Facebook group, it's called Narcissist
Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. And we'll make
sure to drop a link to that below as well.
Tons of support. You can vent. You can cry.
You can get with people who are dealing with
exactly what you're dealing with. So thanks
so much for joining me today. I'm so glad
you stopped by my channel. And remember, today's
a great day to start negotiating your best
life. I'll see you in the next video.
