MATTY MATHESON: Yo.
I'm Matty Matheson.
And last night, we went
up to Markham to visit
our friend Nick Liu.
This is Kung Fu.
We're about to go
up to Markham.
He's got a restaurant
called Gwai Lo.
NICK LIU: You guys came
to pick me up.
MATTY MATHESON: Let's
go get hung over.
He took us around town
up in Markham.
NICK LIU: A place called
Ding Tai Fung.
MATTY MATHESON: They had
some sick dishes.
Blood and intestine soup.
NICK LIU: Hand-pulled noodles.
MATTY MATHESON: Cold tendon.
NICK LIU: Jellyfish salad.
MATTY MATHESON: Tripe.
Really authentic dishes that
I've never had before.
KUNG FU: That's actually
the anus.
NICK LIU: After Ding Tai Fung,
we went to Unionville Arms.
MATTY MATHESON: It was
Saint Patrick's Day.
Worlds collided.
We met some uptown bumpkins.
Marty.
NICK LIU: Racist.
MARTY: Party with our boys.
Lenny, Peter, Frank,
and Gwon Sang.
MATTY MATHESON: Some
ginger kid--
NICK LIU: Ginger.
MATTY MATHESON: --and his
Colombian girlfriend.
NICK LIU: Semi-hot.
MARTY: A Chinese guy, Asian guy
just gave me the "How you
doin'?"
NICK LIU: How you doin'?
MARTY: How you--
[LAUGHS]
NICK LIU: Must have
worked for you.
MATTY MATHESON: They made our
night really special.
NICK LIU: Matty broke them.
MATTY MATHESON: 34
shots of tequila.
NICK LIU: Crumbled.
MATTY MATHESON: Whiskey,
Guinesses.
NICK LIU: Melted into
the ground.
MATTY MATHESON: Pitchers
of the beer.
There was a lot of drinks.
NICK LIU: We got pretty
fucked up.
MATTY MATHESON: And
then we went--
NICK LIU: --to a place
called Bowl Kee.
The best gwai lo-style food.
It means "foreign devil." Sweet
and sour chicken isn't
really a Chinese dish.
This dish does not exist
in any Asian country.
But I love it.
MATTY MATHESON: They need
fucking Chinese people trying
to make fucking Chinese food
for fucking white people.
This rules.
Let's get the fuck
out of Markham.
[THEME MUSIC]
MATTY MATHESON: I
feel like shit.
I feel like shit this morning.
I slept for five hours.
CAMERA OPERATOR: Yo.
MATTY MATHESON: Wassup?
CAMERA OPERATOR: How
you feeling, man?
MATTY MATHESON: Hung
over as fuck.
Oh my god.
So we went met up with Nick
at his parents' house in
beautiful Markham.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
MATTY MATHESON: This is the
worst show ever for people.
Hey, man, want to go
get drunk with us?
You're going to have to cook
for us the next day--
at your house, preferably.
Good morning.
NICK'S MOTHER: Hi.
MATTY MATHESON: Hi there.
NICK LIU: So this morning,
I felt like shit.
I wanted to stab myself in the
eyeball when I got your text.
MATTY MATHESON: How you doing?
NICK LIU: We went to T&T.
MATTY MATHESON: So we're at T&T
in Markham with Nick Liu.
NICK LIU: Word.
MATTY MATHESON: Gonna get
some dumplings and shit.
NICK LIU: Anything you could
really want in any type of
Asian food, they've got it.
MATTY MATHESON: Crazy fish tanks
full of lobsters that
are as big as this table.
They look like fucking
tigers with claws.
Yo, what's that?
Look at the size of
that lobster.
That's like a thousand
years old.
Then there's gooey duck.
NICK LIU: That's and
old-man penis.
MATTY MATHESON: And
huge clams.
NICK LIU: Look at
these bad boys.
CAMERA OPERATOR: Pick one up.
KUNG FU: [SCREAMS]
Ugh!
He gurgled.
MATTY MATHESON: No.
KUNG FU: He was like,
don't touch me.
[GARGLING NOISES]
MATTY MATHESON: It's the sickest
fish place I've seen
that's not a wholesale.
NICK LIU: Can we get
a half pound?
FISH SELLER: Half pound.
MATTY MATHESON: Going to put
this in a fucking Caesar, bro.
MATTY MATHESON: Fucking kimchi
and Chinese sausage.
Bringing that shit from Canada
to Chinese to Korea.
NICK LIU: I just want to be
in bed right now, bro.
I'm sorry.
I love you guys.
But I really do not want
to cook for you.
MATTY MATHESON: Nick killed
it to help my
fucking psycho hangover.
He made us some homemade
dumplings and
some soup, some shrimps.
It was pretty awesome.
NICK LIU: We made a dumpling,
which was a scallop and smoked
pork dumpling.
MATTY MATHESON: So I'm just
going to cut these scallops up
for old Nick for the
dumpling filling.
NICK LIU: Thanks, buddy.
Thanks.
Appreciate that.
MATTY MATHESON: So I'll just
make this into mush.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
Chop that up.
While you're doing that, I'm
going to make the noodles.
Did a haka-style soup
noodle by hand, too.
When I'm making these noodles,
this is almost exactly like
making pasta, yeah?
MATTY MATHESON: Right.
NICK LIU: You make a well,
and then you put
your eggs in there.
MATTY MATHESON: And you
just add water.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
MATTY MATHESON: And just stir
it in from the inside.
NICK LIU: Stir it in
from the inside.
MATTY MATHESON: So we're just
dicing up this smoked ham.
Then we're going to
incorporate it into the scallops.
NICK LIU: Get that really
chopped up, man.
MATTY MATHESON: More?
Chop it up more?
NICK LIU: Yeah.
MATTY MATHESON: Oh my gerd.
NICK LIU: Come on.
Like it's ground, bro.
MATTY MATHESON: Cooking hung
over, you're always
cooking hung over.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
MATTY MATHESON: It's just
a matter of which
level you're at.
NICK LIU: What level are
you at right now?
MATTY MATHESON: 100% piece
of shit right now.
A bag of shit tied
up in the middle.
All this shit is going to
make our dicks hard.
Because when you're hung over,
the main thing is to
get your dick hard.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
You want your dick
really hard.
MATTY MATHESON: You want
your dick fucking
as hard as you can.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
MATTY MATHESON: Just for that
day, to fuck that day the way
that that night fucked you.
NICK LIU: I want this to be
smoky, porky, and scalloppy.
MATTY MATHESON: Yeah.
Scalloppy.
NICK LIU: Now we're going to
add some flavorings just to
make this a little different
from the shit that you get in
restaurants.
MATTY MATHESON: Throw
it all in, right?
Fuck it.
NICK LIU: Matty, do you know
how to make a pot sticker?
MATTY MATHESON: Me?
Show me once, please, and
I will do it again.
NICK LIU: Yeah?
All right.
So you take these bad boys.
MATTY MATHESON: Yes.
Here's our filling.
NICK LIU: Put that
in the filling.
MATTY MATHESON: So I'm just
making the egg wash here.
This is going to help the pot
sticker stick together when we
deep fry it so it doesn't
pop open.
NICK LIU: So you
half moon that.
You can put a little more
than that in it.
MATTY MATHESON: Okay, sure.
NICK LIU: All right.
Perfect.
That's probably about
the perfect amount.
Then we'll bring up right
there, and then fold.
Just on one side, though, OK?
MATTY MATHESON: Yeah.
NICK LIU: And then you got a
lovely little pot sticker.
Can you do this?
MATTY MATHESON: I don't know.
NICK LIU: Or do I
need to get mom?
It's kind of fun to see a bunch
of big fat white fingers
do these delicate dumplings.
MATTY MATHESON: And
then like that?
NICK LIU: Yeah, bro.
MATTY MATHESON: Those
are next.
Gwai lo.
KUNG FU: Shaky hands.
NICK LIU: Oh, wow.
MATTY MATHESON: He needs
a drink, bro.
KUNG FU: I don't think
I'd last too
long in an Asian kitchen.
NICK LIU: This is how you
cook a pot sticker.
You brown them.
You want to make sure they've
got a nice color.
And then you'll steam them.
MATTY MATHESON: So when you're
hung over here, like, I want
to go eat dumplings,
have respect for
those dumpling ladies.
This shit is hard.
I'm going to make some fucking
sick cocktails.
I'm going to make some
kimchi Caesars.
When you're hung over, always,
in Canada, you drink a Caesar.
So I made my take on this with
a bunch of crap I found at
T&T. I don't even know
what this is.
We're just going to
rim our glass.
So that's our rimmer.
UFO rim.
NICK LIU: Everything in
this sounds amazing.
It's got razor clams.
MATTY MATHESON: And we're just
going to steam these guys and
chill these down.
No one wants hot seafood
in their cold drink.
NICK LIU: It had vodka.
MATTY MATHESON: Boom.
NICK LIU: Chinese
sweet sausage.
MATTY MATHESON: This
one's for Nicky.
NICK LIU: Clamato, kimchi,
pickle juice--
sounds pretty ill.
MATTY MATHESON: This is it.
Here, Kung Fu, you're the
specialist on booze.
Mmm.
Let me get onto the next one.
KUNG FU: Oh yeah, that's good.
NICK LIU: Aw, Matty's cocktail
was disgusting.
It sounded like a great
idea, but yeah, it
just tasted like shit.
Oh, god.
MATTY MATHESON: That's good.
That's everything you
want in a cocktail.
This thing is the worst
thing in the world.
If you drink this,
you're a loser.
This noodle is very
similar to pasta.
So do you have to roll it as
many times, or can you just
roll it once and then
put it through?
NICK LIU: Just roll it once
and put it through.
I'd say it's pretty--
MATTY MATHESON: You don't
have to work it at all?
NICK LIU: I worked it before.
It's pretty worked.
MATTY MATHESON: So you don't
want to boil them, eh?
You kind of want
to poach them?
NICK LIU: They actually bring
them up to a boil, right?
The water up to a boil.
They throw it in.
They'll bring it back up to a
boil, and then they'll just
leave it in the water.
MATTY MATHESON: And
you rinse it, eh?
NICK LIU: Yeah, I'm
just cooling it.
MATTY MATHESON: I went
to three Chinese
restaurants last night.
This was the best meal
out of all of them.
Fucking dumplings and some
sick soup with a
master stock, broth.
NICK LIU: Got to have
the fresh stuff.
Fried shrimp.
MATTY MATHESON: This is the
fucking breakfast that saves
fucking lives.
NICK LIU: Fried egg.
MATTY MATHESON: People
dying in Afghanistan?
You come and eat this, there'll
be world peace.
NICK LIU: My mom's siu mais.
MATTY MATHESON: Why can't
there be world peace if
everyone eats this?
NICK LIU: And my mom's
brown wontons.
MATTY MATHESON: Everyone needs
to have this bowl of soup.
NICK LIU: All right.
Eat.
MATTY MATHESON: Oh, fuck.
KUNG FU: This is fucking dope.
MATTY MATHESON: It's so sick.
CAMERA OPERATOR: How
good is this?
KUNG FU: Oh yeah.
MATTY MATHESON: Hot fire.
Oh, fuck my life.
No one's talking.
Peace out, hangover.
You are a really fucking
loser friend.
Having this stuff prepared by
one of my good friends, eating
it at his family's house, it
was just an experience that
you can't fake it.
It's one in a million,
this shit.
Well, that was one of the best
things I've ever had.
NICK LIU: Yeah.
It was a good two days.
MATTY MATHESON: We've
been spending way
too much time together.
KUNG FU: You have been
way too much lately.
MATTY MATHESON: I know.
Everything you do annoys me.
So I--
KUNG FU: Oh, I bet.
MATTY MATHESON: You're drunk.
KUNG FU: I know.
MATTY MATHESON: You want
to break our chair?
You want to break our chair?
I'm fucking 300 pounds.
KUNG FU: I want to break it.
MATTY MATHESON: Why are you--
oh, see?
Now he's drunk again.
That's the worst.
KUNG FU: Hangover's gone!
There's two ways to cure
that son of a bitch.
