Hi.
So let's start
right from the top.
Ladies, I keep hearing it.
It keeps going on.
Everybody keeps saying it.
We gonna get to the
bottom of this right now.
I keep hearing women
say, ain't no good men.
"My man keep cheating on me."
"All the good men in jail."
"Ain't no good dudes left."
Is this true, ladies?
Is it true?
All right.
Well let's get to the
bottom of it right now.
Let me hear the ladies
make some noise right now.
Ladies, make some noise.
Ladies make some noise.
Ladies make some noise.
Ladies make some noise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Check that out.
Yeah, yeah.
Take it in.
Take it-- look at them
socks while you at it.
Look at them socks.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's all you right there.
Six foot even.
Chocolate as shit.
29 with no kids.
Say what?
Yeah, they don't make
'em like this no more.
The last one left.
You better recognize.
How many dudes are
here ain't got no kids.
See?
Put your hand down, sir.
Put your hand down.
Just me.
Just me.
I'm the only one.
Don't nobody say shit.
I'm the only one.
It's just me.
I've got a car.
Say what?
With gas in it.
And it got gas in it!
Turn up.
Better recognize.
I'm straight all the time.
You got to say that nowadays.
You love who you want to love.
I'm just saying I'm
talking about me.
You ain't never gotta worry
about me coming out the closet.
I'm not gay no more.
I am deliverance.
You know I didn't believe him
because don't no grown man
talk like this.
I'm not gay no mores.
I am deliverance.
I went to college.
Say what?
I didn't finish, but I went.
University of Phoenix,
make some noise.
There you go.
Class of September.
Class of September, turn up.
I'm ready, man.
I'm ready to be
in a relationship.
But that's my logic.
If you gonna be
in a relationship,
you got to know who you are, the
good stuff and the bad stuff,
you guys.
I told you all some good stuff.
Let's talk about the bad stuff.
I can't spell.
Guess what, y'all?
I don't care.
You know why?
Because I know I'm
not the only one.
Who else a bad speller
want to testify?
Just this, us three?
That's it?
Everybody else [inaudible]
bee in this bitch, that's it?
We the only bad spellers?
Y'all not gonna
make me feel bad.
I can test you right now.
How many people, you ever
been at work on your computer,
be typing.
You get to a word and get stuck.
You go to your phone for help.
Siri.
Siri, bitch, how do you
spell resourceseses?
Siri!
I know I'm not the
only bad speller.
You know what my rule is?
If you know what I
meant, don't correct me.
If you understand
me, leave me alone.
I sent a girl a
message the other day.
She hit me back.
"You know you spelled
that word wrong."
What are you talking about?
"You said, 'would you
come over,' but you
spelled would W-O-O-D."
I said, that's wood, ain't it?
You're coming over here
to so we can have sex.
You know what I'm
trying to ask you.
Is you coming over so I can give
you the wood, the W-O-O-D. You
know what I'm talking about.
I know I'm not the
only bad speller.
You ever be texting somebody,
you mess up the easy word.
You gotta back up, make
the whole sentence easier?
I'm the only one get to the
roadblock in your sentence.
Back up.
You've got to start over.
I be messing up easy stuff.
I was texting this
girl the other day.
I'm like, yeah, girl,
you are so beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beu-da.
Beu.
B-E-O. Oo.
Oo-da-full.
Oo-da.
B-E-A-O. Got to be--
ooh-- got to be an o in there.
Oo-da-full.
B-E-A-D. D. Beu-da.
Duh.
Beu-duh-full.
Duh.
Duh.
Beu-duh-full.
Girl, you are so pretty.
Pretty.
P-U-R-R. Purr, like a kitty cat.
Rawr.
[hissing]
Purr.
P-E-U-R-R-T. Girl,
you look good.
You look very, very good.
Smiley face.
I can't spell.
It's real.
I don't mess with punctuations.
Whatever.
I sent a girl a
message the other day.
"You know you supposed to put
a comma in this sentence."
I said, I'm gonna be
really honest with you.
I don't know what
commas are for.
Like, I know commas.
Like, I know, you know, if you
like don't or can't, you put
the little comma at the top.
What, like, no, don't, can't,
won't, couldn't, ain't.
No, no, it's a comma.
It's a high comma.
Everybody say, "hi, comma!"
It's a comma.
She say, "If you don't put
a comma in the sentence,
people don't know
when to breathe."
I said, if you don't know
when to breathe, then die!
Ain't got time to be telling
you when to breathe, man!
