*WHAPOOOSH* Top of the Mornin' To Ya Laddies My name is Jacksepticeye, and
Welcome back to Cuphead, the world's slowest moving, most arduous game that has ever existed.
Wait, what is this? "Perilous Piers"
Oh, yeah, I couldn't do that one could I-
 Hi turtle friend! ( he's making friends)
"You boys think your situation is a multi-color mess, don't you?"
"Well, what if I told you there was a way to see it in shades of gray?"
"A way that only a pacifist platformer would be able to perceive?"
"Would you violent little mugs believe me if I told you that?"
"I wonder."
Yeah so there's a pacifist run that you can do in this game, and I don't think it works on bosses
I think it's more the run and gun levels so when you go through it
You can like dodge all the enemies that are in it. Just get to the end of level
I'm not sure fully though. ouhh who are you?
"Cala Maria - High Seas Hi-jinx!" I've seen this one. That's a plain one because she's the mermaid lady, right?
Can I not go down in there? ( apparently not)
Ahh, ballsarooney. ( good one jackaboy)....*looks very confused*
I got a coin!
I went around clicking 'A' on everything just to see if I could open up a thing
That is a fork dude down there
Man, I don't know what I'm doing, except I'm stalling because I don't want to have to fight these fuckers
Because the next one is the bumbleBeE ( He knows what hell is)
There's some fuckin SWEET jazz that's going on.
*imitates jazzmusic*
Oh, I like that the bumblebee's level is actually vertical in appearance.
I forgot what weapons I have equipped *contemplates life*
What do I have equipped?
Okay, I have "The lobber".
Lobber's good, lobber's great.
What does that do? What does that do? What is-WHAT IS THAT? Oh Jesus.
Okay, okay
Aahh, fuck!
*SCREAMS*
Okay, we'll use this as- as a learning round
You know, we won't defeat him just yet
We'll just learn what he's all about this time. ( tell yourself that)
Wait, I thought I was fighting the bumblebee lady?
Who are you?
Okay one down. That's fine. I can do the rest, NO PROBLEM....( you cant)
Okay, she's comin' down over there
What's up? oh god, oh god OHHHH GOD.. OHHH SPINNING TRIANGLE!!!
WOOOOH!!
Oh jesus, is that gonna kill me?
AHH yes it is. How far did I get?
OH, LOOK! I almost got to the end! Ha ha.
"Hey sugar, this honey is off limits. Now scram!"
*imitates game*  (you okay jack?)
That's that's how I sound when I'm playing Cup head all the time.
*Imitates game*
Oy oy oy
*laughs*
He's cool
'kay, wait for it
Ah, shit! *laughs*
Go away chair (#chairlivesmatter)
I was too busy looking at the thing and waiting for when that was gonna fire
that I forgot to like pay attention to him....mhm ok
Okay, not so bad. oy oy oy. God, it's hard to hit him
Where am I?
Okay, I'm all the way up here *chuckles*
Oh god I can't even fuckin see wh-- AH SHIT!
Oh, no! I took damage when I wasn't supposed to!
*says "Uh oh" repetedly with different intonation*
Okay, this is all going fucking terribly bad for me
Okay there we go, there we go. That's what I needed.
Don't hit me don't hit me don't hit me please.
Where are you coming down? Oh hi
What the fuck?
What's happening? Oh Jesus, oh god. I don't like this!
What?? That was different!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Not a fan of that
Okay, I might need to change my weapon
'cause the lobber is great, the lobber is fanTASTIC for 
this fight,
But it's not really good it on its own. I kinda- I kiNDA NEED MORE GOING ON
PLEEEEEASE!
Okay, that was good. That was a good round. I like 
that one. Right, what's happening?
What are you doing this time? Are you doing the head thing again? Okay no, you're doing this
And this was very hard because you have spinning triangles that do a lot of dam-dams
Wait, the triangles themselves don't actually hit me
Ahhh, that's much easier *laughs*
Oh, what is this? This is new
Ah, shit shit, stop! I don't like new things! *same tho*
Why you do this me N OWWWWWWWWWW?
Okay I'm fine, 'm fine. Kill her. Kill her.
okay. I can actually- ow fuck! Wait, does that hit me?
*yells*
JUMPED INTO IT!
Okay, this is bothersome. There's a lot going on. It's not too bad yet though.
A lot of it is very repetitive, so it's just a case of...
Getting decent at it. Like that.
I don't even know what this! It's fucking freaking me out. OH God, don't fall off!
What are you doing now? (Honeybottoms are you okay)
I- I'd-. What the...? WAIT FOR IT  What the fuck?
I don't know what's happening
She's a plane and she's firing hands at me
Ah shit, I didn't know she was that close.
Oh god. Oh, no. That was the last one!
OH! Oh no! *sad Jackaboi is sad*
"Dominate and bombinate, that's how I bee."
Awwh. I want to be the person who comes up with those lines( "fuck,fuck,fuck")
You know what? This isn't that bad
It's only been a few attempts, and I've already gotten to the last phase so...
Oh god. Oh god. I forgot that that's what that did.
Oh, no, I forgot that-
I keep fucking forgetting that I can jump down. I hate this game.
I don't really though, I fucking love it but...
my god, does it love to tast(e)- test my patience. *Frencais Jacques*
He's dead. I love it when things die!
NOT MEE!
*AnGeRy JaCkAbOi*
You know what? you know what? you know what? *takes off jacket*  *heavy breathing*
It's getting fucking warm in here. *Jack plz you're already hot enough ;)* It's time to- hold on hold on.
The fan is on, it's ready to do it!
Woo, let's fucking go buddy boy.
I had nowhere to go. I couldn't jump up to the 
next platform.
Oh can I parry them?
Ooooooohh
Oh my god, I can parry them. I didn't know that.
oh Jesus, I can't even see them half the-
Come on! I didn't even fucking know there was a platform up there.
WHAT IS THIS? (it's Cuphead)
Why are you able to stand on platforms that you 
can't see??
This is dumb!
'kay, she's doing the plane thing
I thought I'd at least get a fucking chance.
Okay, don't take stupid hits, jack!
You can survive all of this. It's not even that hard!!!
Just stop being a fucking fruit roll-up  
*childhood intensifies*
I'm gonna change up my shots a small bit.
I want to see if... if my my regular horseshoes
are actually gonna be of any use in the later phases. The lobber is great for this one,
Because he lands in that perfect trajectory -whoa... to just be able to spam him in the face.
And not only is the lobber GREAT for hitting him, it's does a shit ton of damage.
Which in some scenarios is even better.
Okay, okay, bring it on! Bring it on you fucking bee!
Okay, if we're just going to be doing regular damage
then I might as well be doing the most that I can.
Oh god, there's no fucking platforms
Ahhh, I fucking dodged too far
What?!
It's not even on the fucking screen anymore, and I'm 
still getting hit by it
Uughhhh... just- just fucking end me.
Just end me!
*yelling*
What're you doing- What're you looking through your fucking pages for?
You looking through the yellow pages, trying to find a doctor 'cause I'm fucking you up?
I thought so. Okay, I need to-
Oh jesus, what the fuck is that?
Oh, please hit, please hit, please hit. I'm gonna die, I'm gonna fucking die!
*scream of frustration*
Don't land IN THE SOUP!
*various noises of frustration*
Please please please please. Every time!
It's always the same. I get into a fight, I do well for a couple of rounds,
and I think 'oh it's not gonna be that bad'
And then 'What was everyone complaining about?' and then,
half hour later, and I still haven't done it
The only thing that's pissing me off about this fight is the platforms.
Not- not landing on- Ow...
Not landing on the platforms, that's not so bad. It's the platforms that render above where the character is
ah shit, I'm not fucking paying attention now
So I can jump up and land on platforms, and then the enemy balls and everything
can go up into areas that I can't even see as a player.
There's a point where hard based on skill ends, and just being obnoxious starts.
And now I'm just getting annoyed
'cause I've gotten so close to the end like four times now, and I still can't do it.
Come on!
No. No. No.
Don't you fucking dare. Don't you dare. Don't you dare.
YES!! OOOOOHH
(guys i don't think she's okay this time)
OOH!! THE FUCKING WORST!
I hated that. I hated every fucking minute of that!
*woops* wait that only tooK YOU UNDER TWO MINUTES
Oh Yeah!
Oh fuck
That was the worst fight.
All the other fights- wait for it
*triumphantly*
Cuphead!
The other fights, I get kind of frustrated with 'cause I get bad at it, and I keep dying from my own stupidity
And it's not that the game had been unfair, there's a couple of little shitty moments
in some of the bosses here and there.
That one, was just garbage!
That was just shit from start to finish,
but we're past it and I never have to do it again
"That Wolfgang, always taking ten notes to express two notes' worth of music."
"He has no conception of what I mean by 'less is more'."
I know you agree with me go convince that tinear-tin eared clock. He won't listen to me anymore
Wut?
Doctor Kahl's Robot. 'Junkyard Jive'.
Ok?
Oh cool-oh it's a plane one.
Where do I hit you? Okay.
Oh, Jesus.
(WTF intensifies)
Oh My God. There's SO MUCH going on!
This is fucking-
THIS IS HORRIBLE!
I can't even shoot through the beam. Oh God. Oh God.
Oh God. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP.
(Sound of Jack's effort)
Jesus Christ!
This is hard! Okay, there's a hole in his chest. That's good.
What am I hitting? What am I hitting? I don't fuckin' know!
I'm just gonna do this cos I don't know what's happening!
OMG what do I hit next? What do I hit next?
What's the next Bang-Bang? (His head laser)
Aah!
La-laser head? Oh god magnets. Magnets. (how do they work)
Aah! Oh, I can't touch 'em. How far did I get?
(Shocked Silence)
W-what?
I didn't even get past phase one?? I DIDN'T EVEN MOVE!
WHAT?!
What the fuck is this? (Cuphead)
Thi-this is-this is torture!
Ah come on, you FUCK
There's no point. I'm not a hope of finishing (?). Okay, so (ah, fuck) I should bait the laser, right?
Should bait the laser to firing down each time.
Like that. (Sound of struggling against magnet)
I'm fighting all sorts of shit (Agreed)
There we go. Aaaaah STOP IT! There's too much shit on screen!
I'm just a little boy, leave me alone (Yeah, leave Jackaboy alone)
For fuck's sake. FOR FUCK'S SAKE!
What is this? Is this a trick?
Are you just shitting me with this? I don't know what's happening.
Is this a joke? is it bugged? Ok, I destroyed all three things. Oh, now I have a heart to hit (Progress has been made).
Oh fuck me, at least he has no laser anymore.
Ah! (Quick breaths of stress)
Can some of these at least BE PINK!
Is that bugged? Am I seeing a bugged game right now?
'Objective complete. Target scrapped.' It's-I-I'm not moving. At all.
(Stammerings of confusion) I don't know what's going on!
K, his heart's out. I forgot I had little lobby bombs, dude! (Like, for the third time)
Could've been using this all the time, Okay, what's next? Is that seriously just phase one? (No, it's Phase 2 now)
There's-there's no fucking way. Game has to be bugged.
I don't know what's happening, dude
Am I-am I-am I-am I damaging things? Is he supposed to be stopping?
What's going on? Why are these One Piece bombs attacking me?
I would really like it if I had some explanation-or if somebody DIED.
K he's down.
What now? What-oh fuck me. Oh fuck me.
(Stammering) Fuck, Jesus Christ. CALM DOWN!
This is seriously the fight, this is seriously what's happening.
Can I-can I just have my good-can I just have my Cuphead back?
This is fuckin' impossible!
Well, I mean it's not impossible, it's just really fucking hard, man!
(Blows Raspberry)
Okay, just pay attention. Concentrate. Stop talking.
You got this, Jack. You got this! (Go, Jack!)
(Sounds of concentration)
Come on, come on.
Fuck, bad positioning.
Just fucking die, Christ!
(Knockout!) Yeah ha ha ha! Whoo hoo hoo hoo! Whoo ha ha ha ha!
Oh, I'm just as surprised as anybody that that worked. Oh, why did that not take as long?
(Sounds of jubilation) (whaatt how did that take you 1:43 minutes? it took me 2:30!!!!)
Oh, that feels good!
(Off-screen) I'm lightheaded. (Why not take a quick breakkk)
Ohhhhhhhh....
Would you look at that.
Would you look at that. I actually got two bosses done in under an hour. (Well Done!)
That's a fucking record!
Oh, Man. Oh, man. Oh, man-o-man.
What's in here?
Sally Stageplay. 'Dramatic Fanatic'. I actually don't think I've seen that one.
I don't think I've seen the robot either. What do you say?
'So Ludwig's been filling your mugs with his less-is-more drivel, eh?'
'Keep talking to that fool and soon nothing will sound right to you. Don't say I didn't warn you!'
Okay, mister, but who are you?
Oh.
All that's left now are run and gun levels, and then there's two other-
-things. Actually, you know what, we should try a run and gun level for now right? (Right)
I'll at least try it and see what happens. Oh, I didn't change my weapons. (Contemplates life again)
Ooh that's interesting. Oh, the dancin' fire!
Oh God, Oh God! Whoo!
Just-just get me through. Just get me through.
Stop trying to blow me off, Bitch!
Could you die? 'You will never best a bluff,'
'persevere a peak or curb a cliff. Just give up now, okay?'
I'm not gonna give up now, but I'm going to change my weapons. I think I'll just go with my regs.
(Gangsta mode) Just shoot some peas on the regs, you know I mean, dog? I hope you know what I mean, dog.
Yeah, that's much 'easier'.
Well, 'easier', in quotations.
Yousuckyousuckyousuckyou suckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuckyousuck you suck!
I don't mind enemies, they're cool.
But when they fuckin' repeatedly RESPAWNNNN! I'm not angry, fuck you. Forgot I could just dodge through everything.
(Laughing at the lion)
Okay, that works. I like that a lot. (Good for you)
OHOHOO! The skills!
Oh Jesus, oh Jesus no.
Oh Jesus no.
Stop, stop it. You must stop this now. Okay? I know I can parry them, but I keep fucking missing it.
Okay, bye, I don't know who those guys were.
Oh, Jesus. (A new enemy appears!)
Mr. Thumbness? Get out of here!
Okay, I just killed a door. I'm very happy about that, very happy about the things that are dying in front of me right now.
Hoo hoo!
I'm gone, I'm gone. I don't give a fuck.
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Just end the level. Just end it. You can end it now, you know? (Level: No!)
Oh, what are you gonna do? (Getting worried)
I don't like platforming!
No, why? Oh, why?
Stay away you big OGGO! Oh, I should be using this one.
Hup! Hup! NOO I fuckin' missed it!
How close did I get? Oh, I got pretty far. I can do this. Okay, we're doing all right.
Haven't been hit yet. Don't jinx it Jack. You big dumbass.
Here we go, there we go, there we go.
Okay. (Blows more raspberries)
This was the bullshit.
Am I even able to do anything to him? (No)
Oh god oh god oh god oh god!
(Even more raspberry blowing)
I don't want the coin. I don't care. I just want to finish!
I don't think I'm doing anything to him, am I? (Yes)
Oh god where's the end of this LEVEL!
Oh Christ, oh Christ.
NO-YES! YEEEEEEAAHO!
OH!
You know what? (What?)
Just take it easy on that one.
(Sounds of accomplishment)
Good good good good goody goody gumdrops. Good good good good good.
Now I should have enough coins, should have enough coins to be able to get a new shot.
CUPHEAD!
Nice.
Oh god there's a lot of bosses left, who are you?
Werner Werman or (German pronounciation) Verner Verman. 'Murine Corps'.
I don't know who you are. 'Let's be honest fellows, shall we? There's a class of grade-a people, and then there is, well,'
'everyone else. At the moment, you seem like, uh,'
'everyone else, and that means you cannot experience the world in the special way I do.'
Fuck you, dude. Porkrind's Emporium. I want to go in and get me a Charge A shot.
(Imitates Porkrind) Welcome!
(Porkrind voice) Goodbye!
(Normal voice) Bye!
Thanks, mister!
That should come in real handy. I don't know who's next,
so I'm not gonna change my stuff,
and we have a new mausoleum to do, but for now, I'm gonna leave this episode here! Feeling very good after that one.
Those had to be two of the most BULLshittiest fights around! The robot wasn't so much bullshit,
the bee boss, I still consider to be the most bullshit boss in the game so far. The other ones were difficult,
but manageable. They were difficult in the sense that I had to dodge a lot of stuff.
And if I died, it was under my own fault, but the bee boss was just poorly designed. Again,
you should never have stuff outside the players' wherewithal,
ever ever in any game ever. You shouldn't be able to be outside the screen where the camera can't see you and still be
able to get hit by stuff, that's just bad.
Anyway, (chuckles)
I'm looking forward to seeing what's next I think we'll have like-I think there's like two episodes left (3, actually)
and well, depending on how hard the rest of this stuff might be, but I always want to, at least
beat one level, or at least beat one boss per video.
I'm trying to aim for two bosses per video,
or at least a boss and a level. Sometimes, it's not always possible. Sometimes, my patience runs very, very thin like some malnourished
people in the hospital.
Patience run thin? Anyway, Thank You guys so much for watching this episode. If you liked it, PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE  LIKE A BOSSS
AND, High fives all around.  
THANK YOU GUYS, and I will see all you dudes...
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOO!
OH,
(Imitates saxophone playing)
Digging that sax, my man!
