• From cooking your own hand to confusing
strangers for Harry Potter characters, the
Planet Dolan crew re-enact some of the best
true stories from our subreddit about the
worst things we’ve done while drunk.
I’m X and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by clankdog Nixxiom
One time Nixxiom went to a party and got outrageously
wasted.
Halfway through the night he wandered outside
onto the street where he saw an all-night
bus driving by.
In his drunken state Nixxiom was sure the
bus was the balrog from Lord of the Rings,
so he ran out in front of it and shouted,
“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
Luckily the bus stopped just in time, but
Nixxiom still had to spend the night in lockup
for being a public nuisance.
Still better than being roadkill.
Number 9 was submitted by executive_decisions
Ramona
One time Ramona had a big drunken night out
with her friends.
She caught a taxi home but when she got to
the door she couldn’t find her keys.
Since it was so late she just said “Fuck
it” and went to sleep right there on her
front porch.
The next morning she woke up and found her
keys were in her left hand the whole.
damn.
time.
Number 8 was submitted by Mote-of-Lobross
Emojie
Emojie no longer drinks, but when he was younger
he used to get very messed up!
One night while out with his friends, the
group’s designated driver bailed.
Emojie confidently announced that he’d drive
everyone the twenty miles home.
Emojie was so drunk he had to squint to even
see!
He remembers blurry street lights, narrowly
missing a mailbox and having to pull over
to puke on the side of the road!
Somehow he got everyone home without getting
into an accident or being pulled over.
But looking back it was one of the most irresponsible
things he’s ever done!
Number 7 was submitted by GraiNotGrey MKyleM
When MKyleM went to his very first party his
friends peer-pressured him into drinking Jack
Daniel’s.
MKyleM took one huge gulp and the room around
him started spinning.
His cool friend told him the spinning would
stop if he kept drinking, so MKyleM had another
and another – until pretty soon he was blackout
drunk!
He doesn’t remember the rest of the night,
but his friends told him he got so wasted
that he ran outside and approached a tall
hairy man who was walking his dog.
MKyleM hugged the man and said, “Hagrid!
Oh my god!
You are real!”
He tried very hard to get the stranger to
come in and join the party, but Hagrid graciously
declined…
Number 6 was submitted by superfastsnail Hellbent
When Pandora turned twenty-one Hellbent threw
her a huge birthday party at his parents’
beach house.
That night, Hellbent got messed up on tequila
and decided to go skinny dipping in the ocean.
Pandora worried he would drown so she called
the police, who then called the coast guard.
After hours of searching the water with their
rescue helicopters, Pandora was devastated.
It was her birthday and there she was thinking
her boyfriend had drowned!
But later that night a very drunk and very
naked Hellbent turned up in the streets nearby.
Police found him running through neighbours’
yards looking for clothes to steal.
Pandora came this close to breaking up with
him and Hellbent promised never to drink tequila
again…
Number 5 was submitted by 9kirby99 Pandora
When Pandora was younger she liked playing
games of pool with her uncle.
One night, her uncle decided to take their
games to the next level by betting.
He said he would give Pandora ten dollars
for every ball she pocketed.
Pandora was like, “Hell yeah!”
She had no idea her uncle was completely drunk
when he suggested this bet!
That night they played multiple games of pool
and Pandora managed to rack up a cool three
hundred dollars!
When Pandora’s uncle later heard how much
he owed her his face went totally white!
It was the easiest money Pandora has ever
made and it taught her uncle a valuable lesson
about making drunken bets!
Number 4 was submitted by TheGr3yPill Cidius
One time Cidius got very drunk downtown with
his friends.
Since he couldn’t drive, he texted his girlfriend
and she agreed to pick him up.
While she was on her way, Drunk Cidius literally
forgot he’d arranged a ride with her and
called himself a cab!
When he got home he passed out in bed without
a second thought while his poor girlfriend
drove around for an hour looking for him.
When she got home she was pissed off but relieved
he was okay.
Later that night, Cidius got up to go to the
bathroom.
His girlfriend followed him and found him
standing in the bathroom doorway completely
naked peeing all over the floor!
She yelled at him and Cidius had to mop up
his own piss with a towel.
To this day he can’t believe his girlfriend
put up with so much of his shit.
She even went on to marry him!
What a woman!
Number 3 was submitted by ToxicFlame_V2 Pringle
When Pringle was younger he and his brother
bought a bunch of different sodas for a soda-tasting
YouTube challenge.
One of them caught Pringle’s eye…
It had a weird name, and the look and consistency
of blood!
As they started recording the challenge, Pringle
sculled a big glass of blood soda.
It tasted great… but he immediately felt
funny.
Pringle can’t really remember the rest of
the night, but he remembers waking up in hospital
with a bandaged hand!
When he woke up, he asked his brother, “What
happened…?”
His brother said: “Alcohol happened.”
It turns out the blood soda was actually super
strong vodka that caused Pringle to instantly
lose his shit.
He started singing and dancing into the camera,
and then disappeared in the kitchen to cook
everyone a meal.
After heating some oil in a pan Drunk Pringle
slammed his hand onto the hot pan.
His brother tried to stop him, but Pringle
pushed him away, shouting, “Nobody stops
the chef!!!”
Today, Pringle still has burn marks on his
hand.
He’s now terrified of any unfamiliar sodas…
Number 2 was submitted by shrimp__daddy Zaraganba
One time Zaraganba got really shitfaced at
a school reunion.
When it was over he went back to his hotel
but couldn’t get inside his room.
In drunken frustration he kicked down the
door and spent the night sleeping in a cupboard.
The next morning he was woken up by a total
stranger and some very angry hotel staff.
It turns out the room he’d forced his way
into wasn’t his room; it was a stranger’s!
To make matters worse, he’d also thrown
up all over their floor.
Thinking back on that night, Zaraganba admits
that 
he was a terrible person…
Number 1 – What’s the worst thing I’ve
done while drunk?
