LOUIS CK: One time, I saw a guy in a bicycle, and he was about to get hit with a car door.
It was horrible. And he wasn't looking. 
And the lady opening the door wasn't looking. It was just like, it was just for me.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
And I didn't know what to do. I was like, AH. Like, I, I wanted to yell something. 
But what do you yell?
And I'm trying to, like, time slows down. I'm trying to choose the thing to yell that will have all the information that he needs. 
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
'Cause it was happening really fast. I had, like, that much time to yell, you know? 
What can I yell in that much time that's, HEY YOU GUY ON A BIKE AAAwwww
You know? That's not...
AUDIENCE LAUGHS 
LOUIS CK: YELLS GIBBERISH
 SHIT!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
LOUIS CK: So I, I just yelled out, bad thing! 
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
Wasn't really specific enough. 
Oh well.
It's weird. One time, I was at a party. 
And a friend of mine goes to me, Hey, is that your guitar behind you?
So I looked at the guitar, and I was like, No, that's not mine.
	
The weird thing is, I don't have a guitar. 
I've never had one so why am I looking? 
I don't have to look. It really can't be mine. 
That should just be able to go no and I'm not looking. 
I don't need to. 
You ever do this? You know, when you tell somebody a story, 
then a week later you tell them the same story again cuz you forgot. 
And by this time you've added a.  Bunch of lies to it.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
