I didn't set my goals too high.
Radio is filled with geeks
and people just above circus clowns.
(theme music)
Take off your glasses.
Really?
It's not often anyone gets
to tell Howard Stern what to do.
And what will happen?
I don't know.
Usually, it's Stern giving the orders
or asking the outrageous.
Please stand before him nude
or like you're wearing panties.
But not this time.
Alright, you ready?
They're very blue.
Stern's eyes may be his best asset.
At nearly six and a half feet, he's huge.
In height.
Who else would admit to the size of their genitals
being under two inches?
His hair is certainly nothing to brag about.
I know that my look is definitely out there.
And his mouth?
I have turned radio around and made it a great medium.
Yet he hides those baby blues
behind a pair of shades.
How come you always wear the shades?
I have a very big nose
and I'm very self-conscious about it.
And I would get a nose job
but I'm afraid it'll screw up my voice or something.
Thank you, doctor. Great advice.
Hold it.
Howard Stern, the man who redefined outrageous on the radio,
self-conscious?
Yup, has been all his life.
Genetics are really bad.
I've not been blessed with a lot.
(crowd yelling "Howard!")
Millions of his fans would disagree.
Stern is blessed.
He's blessed with enough smarts
to know what his audience wants,
and what they want is for him to say the unthinkable,
which he does.
Fourteen, you lost your virginity. Easily.
Um.
Don't be too proud of yourself.
No, I think it was a little later.
There were times that I'm on the air,
and it's six o'clock in the morning,
and I just go, maybe I shouldn't talk about this.
Maybe it's not right for my image.
Then I go, wait a second, you don't have an image.
(laughs)
You shouldn't have an image.
But you're not in the mood to have sex
like on a Friday night if you work all day, right?
Why not?
Oh no.
In return for his irreverence,
Stern has a loyal following
that includes more than 18 million listeners.
Today his radio show #1 in the country.
This is the Howard Stern Show.
May I see you topless?
Would that be okay right now?
I can't help it though.
It's a character flaw.
The other flaw is his compulsion
to reveal everything about his life,
including what goes on in his bedroom.
The other night, I'm laying in bed, right?
People started to relate.
When I'd have sex with my wife,
I would talk about it in graphic detail.
Your wife is probably a candidate for sainthood.
Yes, I believe you're right, she is a saint.
Would you be mad if we were married
and I talked about our sex life on the air?
Of course I would.
You would.
Of course.
As she is, I have no doubt.
It is an issue in our relationship
that is overwhelming.
There are times when we're in bed in the middle of it,
my wife will go, is this gonna be on the radio tomorrow?
Is this gonna be on the radio?
Kinda spoils the moment, doesn't it?
Yeah yeah yeah, it really does.
And I go, of course not!
And that's when I go, oh, this should be on the radio.
Or on TV, which it is,
or in two best-selling books,
which it has been.
(tongue blubbing, woman yelling)
And now, it's coming to a theater near you.
He was offensive.
The movie, Private Parts,
chronicles Howard's struggle
for fame, fortune, and even love.
It's the story about a guy who's a loser with women,
I was unattractive to women,
and suddenly I meet this girl in college
who is beautiful and she loves me,
and I'm so flipped out by this.
He's talking about Alison.
The same woman he's been married to for 19 years.
They have three daughters.
Here we go.
(frisbee hits guy's face)
Oh.
[Interviewer] Fans of Stern's will recognize
his story in the movie,
but it's what he doesn't include in the movie
that may be truly revealing.
I used to live in a monastery for a year
and just, you know, lived with people who were monks.
Are you kidding me?
No, I used to live in a rural --
Did they know what you did for a living?
Yes. Yeah. Some of them were fans but not many.
(laughs)
And it was a little square room they'd give you
and it was $100 a month
and also I had gotten into Transcendental Meditation,
which I still do to this day.
So also the meditators were in there.
And the lights were out at 10 o'clock,
and the meditators that lived there lived a monk's life.
They would not have sex, they only could have a cot,
and the lights had to be out by 10 o'clock.
And the silence was beautiful.
What did you think about when the lights were out,
and the place was very, very quiet?
You really wanna know?
Yeah. Am I gonna regret asking?
Yeah probably, you're so proper.
(laughs)
I mean, you have your sweater nicely (jumbles speech)
you look like you're right out of a country club,
for god's sake.
You're too good for me.
You're right.
I know, I know, I know.
While he never did tell me
what he was thinking when the lights were out,
Howard did reveal his most current thoughts,
which, he claims, are universal.
I have many sexual thoughts about women.
I am a heterosexual and I have many sexual thoughts,
it consumes me.
I hate to break the news to women out there,
but it consumes every guy.
Even these guys who you, I mean, Henry Kissinger,
or whoever it is you think is not thinking about sex
every 10 seconds.
It is in my mind every 10 seconds.
(electric guitar strum)
Let's make one thing clear.
Howard Stern doesn't discriminate.
He picks on everyone, including himself.
You were the geek in school.
Yep. I'm a geek as an adult.
Well, you said it, not me.
Yeah, right, well.
That's wild.
But there are many who'd say,
when it comes to his comments about women,
he's way over the top.
Give me a kiss before my wife shows up.
(smooch)
Well we do this every year.
(Camerawoman laughs)
Yeah. Every other guy, she jams her tongue,
yeah, well, let me see.
Wow, oh that's a cute outfit.
Isn't that a cute outfit?
Yeah!
Look at that.
I wanna tell you, ladies and gentlemen --
Wow. You can't be possibly wearing underpants
with that outfit, could you?
No, I'm not.
No.
As much as you denigrate women during your radio program,
some of your closest professional associates,
some personal associates, are women.
I don't think I denigrate women.
I love women, I love working with women,
and my best friends are women.
(on radio) Say something dirty.
He even credits a certain segment
of women for his success.
People say, what will you be remembered for?
It has to be the whole introduction of lesbianism
to America and really making it mainstream.
Lesbianism equaled ratings.
Everybody loves Girl Scout cookies.
Even a gift of Girl Scout cookies
can get him started.
I praise Girl Scouts, always have,
because they raise future strippers and stuff for me.
Oh, please.
He may make a living taunting women,
but behind the scenes,
he says he's grateful to them.
The editor of his best-seller, Private Parts, is a woman.
The TV producer whom Stern credits
for teaching him the ropes is a woman.
And the director of Private Parts, his first film,
is Betty Thomas, from Hill Street Blues.
I'd walk up to Betty, and I'd say,
how would you handle this scene?
And she'd go, I dunno,
figure out a way to do it and do it.
Now, the reason I admired that so much is
because men have such big egos.
Men always have to have the answer in life.
Women don't think that way.
Your college tapes aren't bad.
And perhaps the most important woman
in his public life is his radio sidekick, Robin Quivers.
White people beat you up?
Oh man, how embarrassing.
You are an embarrassment to your race.
(laughing)
Robin is as important to that show as I am.
I know, when I'm not on the air with her, I stink.
I'm half a show.
That's very generous of you to say.
It's true. I know I need her on the air with me.
(crowd cheering)
His multiple successes have led him
to his claim as King of All Media, but not, he says,
to a swollen ego.
[Woman Getting Autograph] Thank you so much, Howard,
I love you.
Enjoy it.
[Woman Getting Autograph] I love you.
I could be sitting at a book signing,
signing for 25,000 people,
and I swear to you, as I'm doing it,
I go, oh my God, how am I gonna top this?
I never feel that sense of satisfaction and success --
Do you regret that you're not able to do that?
Yes. I think that's a major personality flaw.
I think it's almost healthy that I have a bad self-image.
It keeps me level-headed,
and it never makes me feel
like I've accomplished everything.
