[ LAUGHTER ]
I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT NEWS TO 
SHARE.
ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WATCHING US
IN NEW YORK.
NEXT WEEK WE'RE TAKING OUR SHOW 
ON THE ROAD.
WE'RE GOING TO BROOKLYN FOR FIVE
SHOWS FROM THE BROOKLYN ACADEMY 
OF MUSIC.
AND LEADING THE WAY, OUR ADVANCE
PARTY IS OUR OWN GUILLERMO, 
WHO'S DRIVING CROSS-COUNTRY THIS
WEEK IN HIS CUSTOM TOUR BUS, THE
GUILLERMOBILE.
GUILLERMO'S FIRST STOP ALONG THE
WAY IS IN DALLAS, WHERE HE 
APPEARED THIS MORNING WITH JANE 
McGARY ON "GOOD MORNING TEXAS."
>> THE GUILLERMO-MOBILE IS WHAT 
YOU'RE BRINGING TO DALLAS.
>> YES.
>> I GOT TO GO INSIDE IT LAST 
YEAR WHEN YOU WERE LAST HERE.
WHAT DID YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT 
BEING IN TEXAS?
THERE WE ARE.
LOOK AT THAT.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
>> OH, YEAH, I DO.
>> DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
>> LET ME SEE.
NOT REALLY.
>> JUST SAY YOU DID.
>> YOU KNOW, I MEET A LOT OF 
PEOPLE.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO HASN'T 
LEARNED THE ART OF [ BLEEP ] 
YET.
BUT LET'S GO LIVE NOW TO DALLAS 
WHERE THE GUILLERMOBILE IS 
PARKED AT MARIANO'S HACIENDA.
THIS IS THE HOME OF THE ORIGINAL
FROZEN MARGARITA MACHINE.
AND GUILLERMO'S INSIDE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
GUILLERMO, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING 
YOURSELF.
IS THAT MARIANO WITH YOU, 
GUILLERMO?
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
HERE'S MARIANO MY FRIEND.
>> Jimmy: MARIANO, DID YOU 
INVENT THE FROZEN MARGARITA?
>> I IFRN INVENTED THE FROZEN 
MARGARITA MACHINE.
>> Jimmy: OH, THE MACHINE.
>> IT WAS INDUCTED IN 2005.
BUT ALL THEY SAW WAS THE FROZEN 
MARGARITA MACHINE AND THEY PUT 
IT IN THE SNACK BAR NEXT TO THE 
POPCORN.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> NOW IT'S IN THE SMITHSONIAN 
RIGHT NEXT TO JULIA CHILD'S 
KITCHEN.
>> Jimmy: WOW.
SO JULIA'S SPIRIT IS GETTING 
GOOD AND DRUNK THERE.
NOW, HAS GUILLERMO TRIED TO 
STICK HIS HEAD UNDER THE 
MARGARITA MACHINE YET?
>> OH, MY GOSH.
HE DID.
HE DID.
ALL DAY LONG.
UNTIL I GAVE HIM THIS.
>> Jimmy: WHAT?
WHAT IS THAT?
>> THIS IS A MEXICAN EMMY.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> FOR YOU.
THEN IT TAKES A -- YOU TAKE THE 
HAT OFF.
>> Jimmy: OH.
>> AND THE HEAD.
AND NOW IT'S FULL OF TEQUILA.
>> Jimmy: OF COURSE IT IS.
>> THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I COULD 
STOP HIM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> Jimmy: ONE HEAD REPLACES THE 
OTHER.
GUILLERMO, I SEE MY FRIENDS 
BILLY AND JOHNNY MUTRA BEHIND 
YOU THERE.
>> YEAH, THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.
>> Jimmy: HEY, GUYS.
HOW ARE YOU?
I SAW -- GUILLERMO, I'VE BEEN 
GETTING REPORTS THAT YOU'RE NOT 
HAPPY ABOUT THIS BUS TRIP.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> WELL, YEAH, JIMMY.
BECAUSE THE BUS DRIVER DOESN'T 
LET ME DO NUMBER TWO IN THE BUS.
>> Jimmy: WELL, THAT IS A SHAME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
GEEZ.
ANYWAY, I KNOW WHAT A BIG FAN OF
THE DALLAS COWBOYS YOU ARE AND I
INVITED A FRIEND TO STOP BY TO 
CHEER YOU UP.
HERE HE IS, THE PHENOMENFORMER 
QUARTERBACK FROM THE DALLAS 
COWBOYS, TONY ROMO FROM CBS 
SPORTS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
TONY.
[ CHANTING "TONY" ]
>> Jimmy: THAT'S THE REAL TONY.
HAVE THE COWBOYS CALLED YOU AND 
ASKED YOU TO COME BACK THIS 
MORNING?
>> NO.
BUT ABC'S NIGHTLY SHOW DID.
>> Jimmy: THEY DID.
>> JIMMY KIMMEL'S ON THE FENCE 
THEY SAID.
I GOT NO OTHER OFFERS.
>> Jimmy: HAVE YOU EVER HAD A 
SIP FROM A MEXICAN EMMY BEFORE?
>> IS THAT A REAL THING?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW, ACTUALLY.
>> Jimmy: ACCORDING TO MARIANO 
IT IS.
SO TONY, HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO 
ASK YOU.
GUILLERMO IS GOING TO ASK YOU TO
SLEEP AT HIS HOUSE TONIGHT.
SAY NO.
>> WOULD YOU SLEEP AT MY HOUSE 
TONIGHT?
>> I WILL SAY NO ONE ELSE IS 
HERE BUT IT'S GETTING A LITTLE 
UNCOMFORTABLE.
>> Jimmy: IT IS GETTING 
UNCOMFORTABLE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
THAT'S HOW WE LIKE TO KEEP IT.
>> BUT I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW 
THAT GUILLERMO AND ME, WE'RE 
REALLY CLOSE.
THE MEXICAN FAMILY STAYS STRONG.
THIS IS YOURS.
>> Jimmy: TONY IS LATINO.
MANY PEOPLE WANTED TO REPLACE 
COLUMBUS DAY WITH TONY ROMO IN 
THE UNITED STATES AND TONY SAID 
YOU'RE MISTAKING ME FOR AN 
ITALIAN, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE, 
I AM INDEED OF LATINO DESCENT.
WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS ARE 
REALLY HAVING A LOT OF FUN 
THERE.
I WISH I WAS THERE WITH YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHY GUILLERMO -- 
GUILLERMO, APOLOGIZE TO ALL 
THESE PEOPLE FOR BEING UPSET 
THAT YOU'RE IN THEIR CITY RIGHT 
NOW.
>> I'M SORRY, GUYS.
I APOLOGIZE.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE
A GREAT WAY TO APOLOGIZE?
GUILLERMO, YOU AND TONY BUY 
EVERYONE A ROUND OF DRINKS THERE
IN THE BAR.
HOW DOES THAT SOUND?
[ CHEERS ]
>> YEAH!
>> WHEN HE SAYS YOU AND TONY, HE
MEANS GUILLERMO.
BUY EVERYBODY A ROUND OF DRINKS 
AT THE BAR.
I AGREE.
>> I WILL.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO, PULL THAT 
CREDIT CARD OUT OF TONY'S PANTS.
ALL RIGHT.
WELL, THANK YOU, GUYS.
GEE
GUILLERMO, TOMORROW YOU WILL BE 
WHERE?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
>> I'M GOING TO CHICAGO, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: GUILLERMO WILL BE AT 
THE OLD TOWN ALE HOUSE IN 
CHICAGO.
YOU'RE NOT DRIVING THE BUS, ARE 
YOU, GUILLERMO?
>> NO, OF COURSE NOT JIMMY.
>> HE'S GOING NUMBER TWO.
>> Jimmy: THANKS TO TONY.
THANK YOU, MARIANO.
THANKS TO BILLY AND JOHNNY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ONE MORE THING.
OUR GUESTS IN BROOKLYN, WE HAVE 
NOT ANNOUNCED THIS.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME.
OUR GUESTS IN BROOKLYN NEXT 
WEEK -- COULD I GET A DRUM ROLL?
WILL BE.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, JOHN 
KRASINSKI, ELLIE KEMPER, 
BENEDICT COME BER BAM, KELLY 
RIPA, ALICIA KEYS, BILL MURRAY, 
BERNIE SANDERS, PAUL SHAFFER, 
DAVID BYRNE, THE NATIONAL, AND
