Can you be a duchess of the biggest duchy in France, queen of France, queen of England and a leader of the Crusade?
And all that as a woman in the 12th century?
The answer to this, disappointingly, not a chance, no, so this is the end of our video...
Wait, what?!
Alright then, let me introduce to you – Eleanor of Aquitaine!
Thanks to the early death of her brother, Eleanor was the heir of her father William X
Or William the Tenth, for the petty ones of you
Mr. X was the duke of Aquitaine, which is almost a third of today’s France and a lot larger than the king’s territory
Eleanor was one of the most wanted bachelorettes back then because she got that boom boom pow
Translate that to 12th century English - she had a huge chunk of land to her name
She is actually said to have been very beautiful and educated, but you know, who cares, Aquitaine was great enough
When Eleanor’s father was to die, he made the king be the guardian of his 15-year-old daughter
Why? Well, at the time, kidnapping of the heir was a legit way of getting yourself some land
When the duke died during his trip to Spain, King Louis the Fat sent a letter to Eleanor to inform her of three things
His son, Prince Louis, proposed to her. She already said yes. And what was that third thing?
Oh yeah, her father died...
Soon, the king followed the duke, and Duchess Eleanor became Queen Eleanor
The new Pope at the time decided that 50 years is a long-enough wait for the second season of the Crusade
And asked King Louis to lead it
During a sermon in which Louis announced the Crusade, Eleanor rode in on a white horse
Dressed as an Amazon and told everyone that she was joining him
On the crusade, Eleanor had a lady squad with her, and although they were dressed as soldiers, they never really fought
Eleanor was influenced by her uncle who she was suspiciously, or should we say, incestuously close to
Thanks to this, she was arguing with Louis all the time on who they should attack
Not granting her the wish, Eleanor didn’t want to play with Louis anymore
And asked for divorce on the account of being cousins of fourth degree
Two months later, she married the ten years’ younger Henry II, son of the king of England
Who was, ironically, Eleanor’s cousin of third degree
Not long passed and the king died, making Eleanor the queen of England now
During her time in England, Eleanor turned her court into the so-called Court of Love
Many poets and troubadours would arrive and show off their songs and moves to the jury of two
Eleanor and her daughter
Basically, it was a posh dating school...
Unlike with Louis, who Eleanor gave two daughters to, she bore Henry three daughters and five sons
Three of which would later become kings
King Henry, being a huge philanthropist that he was, wasn't able to restrict his love to just one woman
He never hid he was taking cookies from other jars, a lot of jars
And never got in trouble for it, because, you know, king and all that
So, on a scale from 0 to 'openly talking your sons into rebelling against their father', how angry was Eleanor?
Very angry indeed
During their sons’ rebellion, King Henry imprisoned Eleanor and the queen of England spent 16 years in prison
She was released after Henry’s death by the new king and her favorite son – Richard the Lionheart
It was high time for the Third Crusade and Richard was the central commander
Eleanor then acted as regent in Richard’s absence and traveled to Germany
To negotiate a ransom for the captured king
The last of her days, Eleanor spent as a nun, living to be 82 and seeing all of her children but two die
