

How To Get Out Of The Military

By Thomas F. Seray

Copyright 2015 Thomas F. Seray

Smashwords Edition
Table of Contents

Introduction

Brief Bio

Part 1: Education

Chapter 1: Don't Waste your Post-911 GI bill on Community College

Chapter 2: Be Wary of "Military Friendly" Colleges

Chapter 3: Become a Sponge (unless there are strings attached)

Part 2: The Getting Out Mentality

Chapter 4: Be Discreet!

Chapter 5: You can't turn it on and off

Chapter 6: No one owes you anything

Part 3: Making the right Decisions

Chapter 7: Choosing your Friends

Chapter 8: Skepticism and Independent Verification

Chapter 9: Substance Abuse

Part 4: Money and Investments

Chapter 10: Don't Buy a House

Chapter 11: Stupid "investments" and Sources of Income

Chapter 12: VA Disability

Part 5: Marriage and the Family

Chapter 13: Marriage and Divorce

Part 6: To Get Out or not to Get Out, that is the Question

Chapter 14: What made you Decide to Get Out?

Chapter 15: Retention Effort

Chapter 16: Leave your Options Open

Part 7: Final Thoughts

Chapter 17: Plan for your plans to fail.

Chapter 18: So you are out...Now What?

My Reasons
Introduction

This book is not a job guide. You won't receive any resume tips here. There are no punches pulled, and I strive to be as direct as possible. Furthermore, I will not soften my arguments because it makes you uncomfortable. I know some of them will, especially if you are a member of the US Armed Forces. I have a message I need to share with you. We share a journey. We share a struggle. For this reason, I avoid sugar-coating the realities of getting out of the military.

This book provides you with a way out of the military. Now, before you get your hopes up, this is not a quick and dirty scheme to expedite your "Honorable" DD form 214. Wait, I take that back. There is a small amount of dirt, but still no scheme. The systematic approach that should be taken when separating from the US Armed forces is wholly devoid of explicitness. No one wants to talk about the politics involved. Black and white, clear or concise, rarely exist. I give you the gray, "haze gray" if you will. This book presents many real-life examples that can help you reign in the uncertainty ahead.

Existing explicit resources focus on too narrow of a timeframe when transitioning. This book is for anyone in the US military that has even the slightest inclination to separate. It doesn't matter if you have one year, or three years left on your enlistment. Honestly, reading this book at any stage of your enlistment gives you a great advantage. This book provides you with the knowledge you need to get out the right way.

The context of this book lends itself to enlisted personnel. If you are a commissioned officer, this book may disappoint. The majority of the concepts in this book are not entirely applicable to the officer community, sorry sir/ma'am. On the other hand, if you are a commissioned officer, and you feel this book is applicable to your plight, please do not hesitate to share your experience with me. In fact, I encourage all of you reading this book to let me know your experience. I would love to hear from you!

We start part one of this book with a discussion about education. I walk you through some bold new ways to look at your education in a military context. I point out how some "Military Friendly" college degrees are not worth the fancy paper they are printed on. We conclude part one with a conversation regarding the "more training" for "more time" dilemma.

Things heat up in part two. We discuss why it is necessary to be discreet with your plans to separate. Next, we strap on our work belts. I provide a framework for work ethics, given a separation mindset. The last part of this section will either piss you off to no end, or get you extremely motivated. The latter is my intention, I promise. Here, I outline the second-most prolific reason veterans fail after they separate.

Part three opens with an overview of the friend selection process. I hate to admit it, but not everyone in your circle is compatible with your separation plans. This general idea continues with a reference to how decisions should be made. Skepticism is the mantra. This part ends with a very critical discussion about substance abuse. If you are a substance abuser, you might try to skip this section to avoid internal conflict. Please do not skip this discussion. In fact, you need to read this content more than anyone. Substance abuse is the number-one reason why veterans fail when they separate.

It's all about the money in part four. Here, we challenge the idea of the "American Dream." The concept of delayed gratification is introduced, and demonstrated, in the form of children and marshmallows. Also, where would a discussion of money be without debate concerning investments and sources of income? In this section, I stress the importance of developing alternate sources of income while still in. Lastly, but most certainly not least, I raise the topic of service-connected disability.

Part five briefly touches on marriage, and the family. This is, what I feel, the most subjective part of this book. Additionally, this section may not apply to many service members. If marriage, or children, are not in your orbit, you should skim this chapter. Conversely, you can read this part, and provide these tips to a friend who may be married or has children. Married parents love taking advice from people who do not have kids and have never been married.

I question your reserve in part six. How serious are you about getting out? Are you ready for the retention efforts? Are you keeping all of your options open? Here, I encourage you to develop a deep understanding of why you want to separate.

In the final section, I briefly outline the way I make important plans. Additionally, at the request of an early reviewer, I added a section that touches on some of the important aspects of life following separation. This section is workplace-centric. I find the workplace is less dynamic than life itself (obviously). For this reason, I do not discuss life in general after the military. Plainly, the separation process is complete once one separates, but as a courtesy to the reviewer, I provide insight on the matters of post-separation.

Lastly, I give you an intimate view of some of the reasons I chose to separate. I drafted the "Reasons Document" during my enlistment. Some of the reasons are petty, in retrospect. That being said, some of them are heart-wrenching to read, and quite literally bring tears to my eyes when I read them. I have altered the names and locations to protect identities. However, the events are real.
Brief Bio

I know some of you are asking, "Who in the world is Thomas F. Seray and why should I listen to anything this guy says." That is a great question...I'm glad you asked! So, here is a brief bio:

My name is Thomas F. Seray. I'm married, and the proud father of two. I hail from the land of Lincoln (Illinois). I grew up underprivileged, to say the least. In my youth, I wanted to play in the NFL, but that didn't work out (go figure). So, I did what many young males do as plan "B". I enlisted in the US Armed Forces. I was originally recruited by the Army, but I just couldn't imagine myself in cammies carrying a rifle across the desert. Ironically, that's exactly what I did on many occasion after I enlisted in the US Navy.

I'm was an EP (early promote) sailor. I have no NJPs (non-judicial punishments), i.e., captain's masts, XOI (executive officer inquiry) "executive officer's mast", or DRBs (disciplinary review boards) "chiefs' mast" on my record. I made second-class petty officer (E-5) two years sooner than the navy average. In other words, I have served honorably, and above navy standards. My performance was mostly pageantry. Internally, I was dying. I loathed my situation in the military.

I served six long years in the Navy. I had the pleasure of being deployed four times during those six years. I know people who didn't get deployed once during their entire enlistment. I got stuck with four in six years! Hell, I know people who have done over twenty years, and deployed less. Suffice it to say, I realized very early in my enlistment I was going to get out as soon as my contract expired.

I took action very early, and I stuck to making plans. Note, I did not say I stuck to a "single" plan. Flexibility, and fluidity, are cornerstones of the ideas I present.

Additionally, I have witnessed many people with a fiery passion to separate have their flames extinguished by the passage of time. Time heals all wounds, so to speak.

So I asked myself, "How can I make sure I remember why I made the decision to get out?" This is how "Reasons" was born. I wrote down every reason why I wanted to get out. "Reasons" formed into events that took place during the remainder of my enlistment. I never want to forget the feeling of working one hundred hour work weeks for no good reason. I cannot imagine losing the memory of a fellow sailor, a gay Hispanic female, taking her own life because of the lack of acceptance from her superiors. She was a beautiful person.
Part 1: Education

Chapter 1

Don't Waste your Post-911 GI bill on Community College

I'm such a dumbass! I'm not afraid to admit when I'm totally wrong. I was given the option to contribute $100.00 a month for one year, in return, I would receive approximately $50,000 in education benefits. This is the stipulation with the Montgomery GI Bill (MGIB). I thought the $100.00 in my pocket at the time was more important than my education later. Like I said, I grew up underprivileged. I cannot fathom the thought of voluntarily having my pay deducted for something so distant. As a result, I chalk this up as one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my adult life.

Then in 2008, four years after my stupid decision, enter the Post 911 GI bill. I'm granted a second chance to have all my college expenses paid. When the bill first came out, no one knew what the hell they were talking about. People were saying, "If you didn't do the MGIB, then you cannot enroll in the post 911." This is our first lesson in reading policy and instructions for yourself. Though, this is not the theme for this part of the book. However, in actuality, this "IS" a recurring theme, but I digress.

Now, let's talk about community college and the Post 911 GI bill. These two mix like slugs and salt. To use the Post 911 GI bill to pay for community college is a waste of hard earned benefits. Additionally, you should know the Post 911 GI Bill like the back of your hand. The Veterans Administration (VA) is the authority on the matter. Hence, only use VA sources of information. There are no subject matter experts at your command. Chiefly, it's more than likely no one at your command has ever used these benefits. Incidentally, if they have used them, it may have been in a different context. These benefits are complicated in their administration. Once again, the VA is the authority.

You should use Tuition Assistance (TA) to pay for community college courses whenever possible. TA is a benefit that only exists while you are in a service capacity. Furthermore, there should be no money left on the table regarding TA. If you have not finished your transfer requirements, or degree, every available penny should be utilized.

Also, don't give me that baloney about not having enough time. Let me put it to you like this, if you want to get it done, you will find a way. As an example, I completed 27 semester hours (9 classes) during a 4 month period. I was forced to take classes at multiple colleges simultaneously because I breached the maximum units per semester threshold. During this period, my average work week was about 100 hours.

We are in dry dock, on a 4 day duty rotation. The ship I'm stationed on is having repairs done. It seems, in an effort to make life as miserable as possible, we are ordered to stay on the ship for 24 hours every 4 days. Of course, this is in addition to our 7am to 5pm, Monday through Friday workweek. I have to discover creative ways to get my school work done. Every line I wait in, I read text books. On the mess decks, I regularly speckle my class notes with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I pause and jot down research paper outlines, or math problems, while doing menial tasks. Trust me, there are no shortage of menial tasks. I'm determined to get as much education done as I can while I'm in.

Your situation does not have to be as intense as mine. You can take it easy, and finish only a few classes at a time if your situation permits. Above all, finish your community college work while on active duty. You only have 36 months of benefits. How do you intend to finish community college, upper division work at a reputable university, and have money left over for a master's degree? Clearly, it's not possible.

Save the GI bill benefits for upper division work. This work is more challenging, and more importantly, more expensive. Use the housing allowance as supplemental support while you focus on more academically challenging work.

As a result, you will have free time to entertain internships in your desired field. While pursuing my degree, I interned at a great company. I had a wonderfully supportive supervisor. Internships, for the most part, do not pay well. In fact, many are unpaid assignments. Additionally, most of them are part-time. Finally, most internships require at least junior-level status.

With this in mind, you may think internships are not important. Show me the money, right? Wrong! Internships are extremely valuable. A complete digression into the value of internships is not warranted to make my point, however. The point is this; if you run out of benefits before, or during an internship, how do you plan to support yourself? Moreover, how do you plan to support your family?

Indeed, you will be forced to obtain "real" employment to pay the bills. Unfortunately, there is a high probability your new duty will be outside the scope of your desired career field. The GI bill and internships go together like peanut butter and jelly. Your internship options are broadened because of your GI bill support.

If you cannot, under any circumstance, finish your lower-level community college work while still on active duty, you need to get a part-time job. Pay for the classes out of your own pocket. Furthermore, you can apply for student aid via the FAFSA.

I cannot stress this enough, it is a waste of money to use your benefits on community college. I will give you a quick numerical example to demonstrate.

As of this writing, it costs about $138.00 to take a 3 semester unit class at a California community college. It costs close to $1300.00 to take a 4.5 quarter unit course (3 semester units equals 4.5 quarter units) at my alma mater (a public university). Pointedly, these are all in-state tuition rates.

Graduate education costs even more at some schools. If you waste most of those precious 36 months on community college, have fun paying for the rest of your degree. As of today, I still have about 21 months left of benefits on my post 911 GI bill. I have two associates' degrees, a BA in economics, and I'm finishing up a master's program.

I finished the two associates while on active duty. More importantly, I waited to get out to finish my undergraduate degree at a reputable institution. I view the post 911 GI bill today as a rainy day fund. If I fall on hard times, I can tap into my benefits to get my skills refined, or even learn new ones. I can even have a bit of my housing expenses paid for along the way (not too shabby).

I have a friend who learned this lesson the hard way. My friend's name is Dan. Dan is a nervous looking fellow. He wears coke-bottle glasses that shrink his eyes to the center of his lenses. His skin is a pasty-pale complexion, if not translucent. Dan is a very bright and intelligent person. He would always say, in his evil robot from the future voice. "I don't want the distraction of being in the Navy while I'm trying to go to college. I want to be focused 100% on school, so I will wait until I get out to start, and finish, my degree."

I always told Dan this is a bad idea, but he didn't listen. He was studying to be an engineer, and he was aiming to transfer to the most prestigious university in the state of Washington.

Months and months pass before Dan starts to notice his benefits are running out. He is waiting on an admissions decision from his target university. The admissions letter comes. He got accepted! The bitter irony is he had no other way to pay for tuition besides borrowing boat loads of cash. Unfortunately, Dan used most of his benefits on community college.

As of this day, Dan still has not enrolled in the school he worked so hard to get into. Now, a part time job won't even cover half of the required tuition of that prestigious university. I write this with a heavy heart, because he is my friend and it saddens me to know he fell into this situation. I feel like I could have done more to deter his mindset. Perhaps a book (like this one) would have done it. Perhaps you won't make the same mistake as Dan.

Also, you may be wondering why I keep mentioning the words "prestigious," or "reputable," when I refer to specific schools. This is intentional. My aim is to get your mind conditioned to think "quality" when discussing education. Better yet, I would like you to "question" quality, because there are many questionable institutions out there. They have sprung up like weeds in the spring. In fact, there are some long standing, well established institutions you still should approach with caution. These institutions seek nothing but to collect money from you, and hand you a piece of paper citing a valueless credential.

The Rundown

\- Get to know the Post-911 GI Bill like the back of your hand.

\- Get your knowledge from the source, The Veterans Administration.

\- Always use tuition assistance while on active duty.

\- Don't use a dime of your Post-911 GI bill on lower level/community college work

\- The GI bill and internships go together like peanut butter and jelly.

\- Don't be like Dan.
Chapter 2

Be Wary of "Military Friendly" Colleges

Oh yes, it sounds good! The "Military Friendly" term rolls off the tongue like an avalanche in slow motion, smooth but incredulous. You immediately think, "Hey, I'm in the military, maybe I should give these guys a look." Their advertisements say you can complete your degree in minimal time. Wait, there's more, minimal effort is required. This may seem like a no brainer—pun intended. Here is a school that understands your situation, and will accommodate your needs during your quest for knowledge. How gracious of them.

SORRY! A copious amount of these schools issue degrees that aren't worth office-grade toilet paper. I don't know where you work, but my office's paper is a combination of sandpaper and thrift. Conversely, some reputable institutions may say they are military friendly as well. However, the extent of their friendliness may just be a school-endorsed veterans club. So, don't rule out every school that says they are military friendly. Merely, you should not take the exclamation at face value.

How do you rule out these "poser" institutions? Well, one way is to use a college ranking resource. There are many college ranking resources. I encourage you to use more than one before making judgement. You will see a recurring pattern across all these resources for the truly reputable, and proven institutions. I'm not saying you must attend an Ivy, or a public Ivy. Incidentally, you will see some good schools to use as a benchmark by checking out these rankings.

Obviously, regional accreditation is a must when choosing your school. I have no idea why "regional" accreditation is the accreditation of note. There are "nationally" accredited schools, and one would assume a national accreditation is superior to a regional one. Specifically, this is not the case! If your school is not regionally accredited, forget about it.

Most public community colleges are regionally accredited. However, there are some colleges that have their accreditations suspended for various reasons. You should check for regional accreditation for any institution you intend to attend. Do not use the school's website as the source for their accreditation. Specifically, go to the website of the accreditation body and search their database for an independent verification. "Independent verification" is something you should tattoo on the inside of your eyelids. We will explore this topic later, not tattooing, but the independent verification part. I don't have any ink.

Also, another good way to identify a pretender is to look at the stock market. If the school has a stock ticker, or is owned by a group that has a stock ticker, steer clear. A stock ticker is a combination of letters that identifies a company's securities on various stock exchanges. Basically, if your school is a publically traded company, be very wary!

Why should you care if your school has shares available for purchase? Well, that is a simple question to answer, especially in our capitalistic society. Businesses exist to make a profit. I'm sorry, but that is just how it is. Business is not charity. Even more, securities traded on the stock market do not belong to charities. These stocks belong to companies with executives who are employed for the sole purpose of maximizing profits.

Maximization of profit is the mission of business. All the same, no matter what any commercial or sales pitch/slogan says, profit is king.

Increasing shareholder value is supposed to be a goal for business also. Unfortunately, I have some companies in my portfolio that perform very poorly in this area!

What does profit have to do with your education? The answer is a big fat "NOTHING." The problem is executives exist to maximize shareholder value, not the value of your education. The education value at these schools is a proxy for higher profits. More importantly, the education offered by these institutions are a means to an end. Education is the means and profit is the end.

This is not to say some public four-year institutions don't share some of the same business minded qualities as their "for profit" counterparts. In fact, some regionally accredited schools set academic performance standards so low, one cannot begin to take credentials issued by these schools seriously. Admittedly, I have never been a college administrator. But, I have to assume the goal is to let you pass classes with ease, and without a serious challenge. Consequently, this keeps you moving through their program while paying tuition and fees. My complete opinion about the United States' collegiate system can fill an entire manuscript all its own.

Of course, I will give you a first-hand example of a poor-quality regionally accredited school. At the same time, I will address the online versus brick and mortar dilemma every college student in the 21st century faces.

While on active duty, I made the silly decision to finish my degree online at a less than (way less than) reputable school. At the time, it was the second largest "non-profit" private institution in the state of California. At least, this is what the school's advertisements claim. I never quite understood what "largest" actually meant. Does it mean the second "largest" enrollment? Could it be the second "largest" square footage? Perhaps, they possess the second "largest" endowment. I should have known what I was getting into when the school opened up a sparkling "online information center" at a popular shopping mall in San Diego. This was no modest kiosk to hand out brochures, oh no. This was a spacious, if not luxurious space located in prime mall real estate.

This is not why they are a poor quality institution. I mean, they did advertise their product more than big auto-insurance companies, but an aggressive marketing campaign doesn't automatically precede poor quality. However, this begs the question, "Since so much money is going into marketing, how much is left over for investing in the quality of education services?"

This is true with any business, or organization. Large sums of money go into letting consumers know about a product. If those funds went into the products themselves, they could be exponentially better. You can tell I'm not a huge fan of marketing. But in spite of what I just said, marketing does have its place in business.

I take two classes with this school, and call it quits. The first class I have is a report writing class. Naturally, I'm extremely busy with work during this time. I have little time to study for the exams. Honestly, I do not take this class very seriously.

I have to take a test I'm ill prepared for, to say the least. I guess on a number of test questions and I promptly receive a 73%, a "C-". Ironically, this is the grade I receive on approximately everything I turn in for a grade in the class.

During the course of the class, the main instructor quits and a replacement substitutes for the remainder of the course. Ultimately, I receive an "A" for the class, even though my grade was a "C-" on all of my assignments. Additionally, the class is not graded on a curve.

I happily think to myself, "how weird". I receive a token grade because of the inconvenience of switching instructors? Needless to say, I didn't challenge my gifted grade. Yet, it left me with an uncomfortable feeling. My next class is somewhat similar to the first, except it was my first upper division class.

I'm ecstatic about taking an upper division course for the first time. My professor works for a major automobile manufacturer and he is instructing the course from Japan! Wow, Japan, impressive! We are supposed to have weekly discussion sessions via teleconference. He is only present for two sessions during the entire course! Fed up, after the last one he fails to show up to, I wrote on the discussion board for the entire class to see, "This is the nail in the coffin, I will not continue my degree at this school."

Needless to say, I'm gifted another "A" for the course, the same way I received an "A" in the previous class. This is when I make the decision to wait to get out of the military to finish my undergraduate degree.

There are some good online programs out there. One of my child hood friends is finishing up his bachelors at an online school in Arizona, and no, the word "Phoenix" is not in the name of the school.

If it is feasible for you to attend a brick and mortar school, I encourage you to do so. In my personal experience, I drive myself harder when I attend class physically. I have a constant concern one of my professors will ask me a question in front of the class and I will not be able to answer it, or even talk to it. This is the power of live communication versus discussion boards, or online chats. I have to be prepared for everything to avoid looking like a fool. In an online setting I can just focus on a narrowly scoped topic to answer a discussion question. Being put on the spot is a powerful motivational tool to get your homework done and readings complete. You might be uncomfortable, but the discomfort is positive. Unless, of course, you have a personality disorder, or you are innately lazy. No one is put on the spot in an online setting. You have time to use search engines, and read for answers to specific questions. Its cake...most of the time.

If you really think about it, this method of learning is not commensurate to real life. Sometimes, you have to be prepared to address a problem. In an online setting, tests are the only things that call for the necessity of preparedness. On the contrary, some tests are open book, with unlimited time. If you plan to answer every question in your professional life with, "I don't know, let me get back to you", your career will not go very far, I'll tell you that.

Also, it should be noted, some schools do not accept transfer students. For instance, at the time of this writing, it is widely known Princeton does not accept transfer students. Harvard does accept transfer students on an intermittent basis. So, if you desire an Ivy League education, you need to check with the target school to ensure you meet the requirements. At the time of my transfer (2010), some of the more prestigious schools (non-Ivy) would not accept transfer credits if the credits were earned online. This was regardless if the school was regionally accredited.

I'm a big proponent of the transfer concept. So much so, I developed the first mobile application to assist transfer students in the transfer process. I developed it because I didn't feel there were enough free resources available for transfer students.

The Rundown

\- Be suspicious of "Military Friendly" colleges.

\- If it's not challenging it probably isn't worth it.

\- Consider waiting to separate for more options in education.

\- Don't attend a school that has a stock ticker.

\- "For- Profit"...think about the term for a moment.

\- Not all schools accept transfer students.

\- Some schools may not accept online transfer courses (check with your target school).
Chapter 3

Become a Sponge (unless there are strings attached).

You receive an ample amount of training opportunities during the course of your military career. I implore you, capitalize on these opportunities. You may be thinking, "I don't want to get a specific training, because I will have to do this duty, or that duty." You have a valid argument; not all training opportunities are offered out of altruism.

The wonderful, and action-packed duty of watch-standing is one of the most loathed responsibilities I know. As it stands, watch-standing can only be performed by those qualified. When you are qualified, you are the fill-in for any sick, UA (unauthorized absence), or late counterpart. I mention watch-standing specifically, because I feel it can discourage learning in the military. But, if the military doesn't stand to gain from the training, why would they offer it? Once you learn how, and have written proof, you are put to work.

The training to focus on is the training you can take to the bank. The bank is your civilian career looming just around the corner. Namely, if you want to be a firefighter, and you are stationed on a ship, go out of your way to get on the damage control team. Actively learn everything associated with fighting fires at the expense of your employer, the military. Notwithstanding, I say "ship", because that is where I spent most of my time while I was in. Fires on ships pose a unique risk; that goes without saying. There should be equivalent "response" team opportunities in your branch.

As an aside, please do not confuse training that can save lives, with "auxiliary" training. Auxiliary training is supplemental, and optional in nature.

During my enlistment, I was an Electronics Technician, "ET" for short. This is a career field that has lots of training opportunities. So much so, some of the training available comes with a price. I paid this price the day I signed my enlistment contract. You see, like most of you reading this, I wasn't given the whole scoop on what I was getting myself into when I signed up.

My initial enlistment was for six years! Here is the spiel, "Oh, it is really only a four-year enlistment with two years of training before you go on sea duty (PCS to a ship)." I was lied to, plain and simple. Whether this was intentional or not, the statement was false!

Consequently, I spent about six months in school, and was promptly shipped out! I immediately deployed on the USS Carrier's maiden voyage. Furthermore, I became responsible for major communication systems, in a combat zone, with next to no training. Needless to say, I was more nervous than a ceiling fan storeowner with a comb-over. I nearly shat myself anytime something broke. But, that is the nature of the beast.

However, there were many times when "advanced" training presented itself. Some of this training carried the price of extra enlistment time. Basically, if you received this training, you were subject to multiple years being added to your enlistment, despite how much time you have remaining.

Needless to say, I never seized those type of training opportunities. None of the offerings were ever appealing to me, given the high cost. I made the time in exchange for training mistake once. You remember what George W. Bush says about being fooled-

"Fool me once, shame on...shame on you.... You fooled me you can't get fooled again"

You know what he meant!

If you can obtain training you feel adds value, and with no strings attached, you should be the first one volunteering for the opportunity. Learn all of the systems, processes, and procedures of your job. Additionally, learn other people's jobs as well. Rotate, and receive cross training. Become a sponge, soaking up all the knowledge possible. Incidentally, you never know when you will need that knowledge once you get out.

Additionally, you may discover you enjoy working in an area you have never worked before. Showing initiative with respect to learning your job, and the jobs of those around you, will win you plenty brownie points. It will get you ahead on the polls in office politics. You might not work in an office literally, but office politics is an all-encompassing term you should embrace, not resist. This is contrary to what you might have heard, or currently believe.

The Rundown

\- Get all the training you can, especially if it relates to your desired civilian career.

\- Always verify if additional training adds time to your enlistment.

\- Showing the desire to learn your craft in the military communicates initiative to leadership.

\- You never know when a particular skillset might serve your interests.
Part 2: The Getting Out Mentality

Chapter 4

Be Discreet!

For Pete's sake, do not tell anyone at your duty station you are getting out of the military. When asked, if you don't want to tell them a blatant lie, say something like, "I keep all of my options open." However, never say explicitly, "Yes, I'm getting out as soon as my time is up." Because once you reveal this, the wheels start spinning. The wheels exist in the minds of your supervisors and your co-workers. You are now labeled as someone who possibly should not be allocated anymore additional resources. Specifically, there is no reason to offer you attractive training opportunities. There is no reason to give you cushy assignments while other less desirable ones need attention.

Let's be honest with ourselves here. Would you invest in someone who has stated they intend to leave, thus taking your investment with them? Effectively, you become an asset with an expiration date.

How about an example? Would you buy a car labeled with a big disclaimer reading "This car will stop working for you in two years?" Comparatively, would you buy the exact same car that has no such disclaimer? You would buy the car without the disclaimer. However, the car without the disclaimer might stop working before the date listed on the car possessing the disclaimer. No one else knew except the car. An explicit expiration date on some things just make it less attractive, period.

You see? By not stating your intent vocally, you give no reason not to be treated like the other lifers. The good training opportunities should still come your way. Evaluations and rating reviews remain fair and just.

Speaking of evaluations and ratings... if you had a quota limit on the number of "high" evaluations you could give out, would you give one of those limited "high" evaluation scores to someone getting out, or someone known to be staying in? The lifer needs it to promote to the next pay grade, right? Why would someone who is getting out need a high performance rating? If you said you would give the "high" rating to the guy that deserves it, you exude nobility.

Let me make it less cut and dry, and add a bit of haze gray to the situation. I'm going to give you another "what if." What if you had the same situation as illustrated before, except both guys perform at an identical skill level? Who gets the better rating now? It's a no brainer! The guy who is staying will get the better rating! So why in the hell would you tell anyone you are getting out before you have to? You will be treated differently. A proverbial scarlet letter will pose as an asterisk next to your name.

Eventually you will have to disclose your intent to separate. The military doesn't operate on the two week notice principle. There will be plenty enough time to be treated differently after your intentions are made public. Check with policy and instruction to verify the date for yourself. Don't let some fly by night counselor, or assistant to the assistant supervisor coerce you into giving a yes or no answer regarding your plans. They will try! I promise you.

In the next chapter I will introduce you to someone that faced these exact issues for being less than discreet about their separation intentions.

If you have disclosed your intent to separate, and you feel you are being discriminated against, try an informal resolution. However, if that fails, take the issue higher. Do it professionally. Notably, all this can be avoided by not disclosing your intent to begin with!

The Rundown

\- Keep your separation plans to yourself and your non-military loved ones

\- Misery loves company.

\- Independently verify when you are officially required to disclose your separation plans.
Chapter 5

You can't turn it on and off

There is only one guy I know who was a complete "dirtbag" while in the military, and went on to embody what it means to be successful after separating. A "dirtbag", in this context, is someone who does not present himself as "gung-ho" about military life, or customs. The guy actually had staples holding his sleeves together on the inside of his coveralls! He has dirty-white skin, sort of a beige color. This is due to all of the fresh acne covering the old acne scars speckled about his face. He always sits in contorted positions. His "crisscross-applesauce" situation in office chairs always makes me uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong, he is a very smart dirtbag, but a dirtbag nonetheless. He finished his undergrad at, what many ranking sources cite as, the number-one public institution in the world. He is currently enrolled at, what many ranking sources cite as, the number-two public institution in the world, pursuing a masters. The dirtbag's name is "Sam". For every one "Sam" there are a hundred guys who think they can coast, and do the bare minimum while in. Then, magically, turn it on once they separate.

I have news for you if you are one of those guys. You are stupid, sorry friend. However, as a consolation, I was stupid at one point in my military career also. You can't turn it on and off. You are either performing at your best, or not. To be blunt, although you are getting out, it doesn't give you a license to not give a damn about your duties. You will lose this game; I assure you. Hell, even Sam did an exceptional job when it matter.

As you know, we humans are creatures of habit. If you are negligent in your duties now, you will be negligent in your duties when you get out. The difference, is that you will be fired in the civilian world.

Clichés aside, you should take pride in what you do. To clarify, I'm not referring to "propaganda" pride. I'm alluding to the fact others judge you by your work. Understand, you should be mindful of this. Your work should represent competence, and professionalism, regardless of your job in the military.

Ironically, Sam never gave up when given a meaningful challenge. Honestly, I had the preconceived notion Sam would be the last person I could depend on for anything. Though, looking back, he always came through when the stakes were high.

Not surprisingly, Sam was treated differently when it came to ratings and evaluations. He was very vocal about his desire to get out. On the contrary, I was not. Though, deep inside, I felt the same way as Sam. I was consistently rated higher than Sam despite his superior performance. Frankly, if I had to put a team of mission essential electronic technicians together, I would take Sam over myself any day of the week.

Anyhow, I was no dirt bag, and I did not make my desire to separate as vocal as he did. As a corollary, my ratings were always consistently higher than average. Sam and I were never really friends. Frankly, I made a conscious decision to distance myself from Sam professionally. He attracted scowls and nonverbal disapproval everywhere he went, but he was one of the best techs I have ever known.

The Rundown

\- Don't be Sam. He is the exception, and not the rule.

\- Humans are creatures of habit. You cannot turn your work effort on and off instantaneously.

\- Negligence can get you in hot water.

\- Leaders dislike unmotivated subordinates.

\- Practice professionalism.

\- If you can be professional in the military (considering all the obstacles), you can be professional anywhere.

\- If you have nothing nice to say (about the military)...
Chapter 6

No one owes you anything

There are few things that irritate me more than a veteran, or active duty service member, who feels the world owes them something. This idea is perpetuated by slogans, empty statements of gratitude, or other societal conventions. To label the idea drivers as merely "propaganda" would be an understatement.

Now, before you flip out, let me explain. I'm going to reach back to the ideas of one Mr. Niccolo Machiavelli. Particularly, I would like to present you his opinion about man. If you ever get a chance, check out his "leadership" book entitled The Prince. He writes,

"...[I]n general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life, and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you."

For the record, I'm not a Machiavellian, but the man has got one hell of a point here!

Please allow me to put this Machiavelli quote into context... You are being lied to! Do you think the nature of man ceases to exist simply because you served in the US military? No buddy, the world keeps turning whether you like it or not, whether you are successful or a failure.

What makes us vets so susceptible to a sense of entitlement is the constant empty rhetoric from politicians and the regular Joe Schmo alike. The "Support our troops" and "America owes you a great debt" style phrases used to piss me off to no end when I was on active duty!

On the contrary, there are many people, and organizations, that say these things with the utmost sincerity, with no ulterior motives. However, there are many folks that say these things as buzz words, it is sickening. Filtering out the sincere, from the insincere, is damn near impossible.

My first taste of admiration, on the basis of military affiliation, came immediately after I completed boot camp.

I went to a professional football game in Chicago. The Colts were playing the Bears. As I approach Soldier Field, it seems as if the stadium walls are ascending to the sky in real-time. In previous times, this might have intimidated me, but now I walk with the confidence of a cow on the streets of India. I can take on the world. Not even the silly Dixie cup hat, and bell-bottom pants can hurt my swag.

I purchase my tickets, which are seated as high up as my nerve. After the ascent, I gaze down at the little ants running around on the big green rectangle. I cannot see anything! Abruptly, a half-drunk Bears fan approaches me and says, "Thank you for your service. I would like to buy you a beer."

"Sure!" I reply.

Mind you, at the time my "service" consists of a two month stint in Great Lakes, Illinois (often aptly referred to as "Great Mistakes, Illinois"). That guy has no idea, and I'm not about to turn down a free beer (especially stadium-priced beer).

He retrieves the beer for me, and hands me a $20.00 bill.

"What is this for?" I ask.

"In case you want more beer!" He shouts gleefully over the roaring nose-bleed section.

So all I have to do is put a uniform on, and all of a sudden, people hold me in high-esteem? I think to myself? Well damn, let's put this theory to the test. Let's see how far I can push this uniformed service member situation.

I descended the steps of the stadium looking for an entry to the field to get a better view. I nearly reach the bottom when a stadium employee notices me.

"Hey, you look lost, looking for a better view or something?" The employee asks me.

"Yes, but my seat is way up top." I reply modestly.

"Come inside here. I will let you stand here, and watch the game from this deck." He says.

I enter the lower level deck in disbelief. My eyes spread wide like waking for the first time. Is this happening? I question myself. I'm so close to the field; I can smell the grass under the player's cleats!

Immediately after entering this esteemed area. I notice a large group of would-be fashion models seated near where I'm standing. The stadium attendant nervously tells me, "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, do not talk to any of the women here in this section...they are the players' wives." He says this to me as if any of these supermodels were in my league to begin with.

Honestly, any mystique of being so close to the wives is quickly lost once I see "Peyton Manning" take a snap. I have never seen a player as good as Manning. Freaking ridiculous!

Let me get back on track... Ok... what I'm trying to drill in your head is not to expect anything to be given to you just because you served. My stadium experience would not have happened if I were a plain-clothed civilian. No beers, and no players' wives. For damn sure, I'm not going to walk around letting everyone know I served, in hopes of getting free stuff or preferential treatment. That's not why we signed up, right?

Conversely, "DO" expect what has been guaranteed to you via the contractual agreement you have with the United States government. Your enlistment contract is all business, and it doesn't require anyone to "Hire troops first" or "Support the troops." This idea is critical for you to understand. Nothing is guaranteed to you by society not written in law; even that can be tricky at times.

I apologize on behalf of society if you thought the world was just going to open up to you when you got out. It won't. Don't expect it to. As a consequence, you must be prepared.

I will give you a great analogy. I sneaked into a presentation for MBA students at my school while still an undergrad. The speaker used an analogy of traffic entering a freeway. In his example, life is the freeway, and people living life are traveling really fast. As a result, you cannot enter life at your own pace. You must accelerate onto the on-ramp and get to the same speed as the other cars.

I repeat this analogy, because it lends itself to the idea of getting out of the military. You cannot get out of the military and expect people/cars to slow down for you. You need to hit that freeway fast and with precision.

Before we move on, let me say, there are many veterans now running the race of civilian life. If you subscribe to, "The world owes me something. I'm special because I was in the military", do you feel veterans who used to be active duty owe you also? When you were a civilian did you owe the veteran? Do I owe you something, because you are on active duty now and I'm not? Did you owe me something when I was in? Hell no! You don't owe me anything. I volunteered and so did you!

The Rundown

\- The world is not indebted to you.

\- Man is: ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, and covetous.

\- Some people genuinely care, but don't expect their support. Nevertheless, accept their support when offered.

-Your benefits are YOURS. They are guaranteed by law, not by some supervisor, or counselor on a power-trip.

\- Don't let anyone tell you that you are not eligible for a benefit without verifying it for yourself.
Part 3: Making the right Decisions

Chapter 7

Choosing your Friends

"The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best."

-Epictetus

Yeah, I know opening this chapter with a quote is a bit cliché. Honestly, I just needed something to act as a buffer between the last chapter, and this one. I'm sure the last chapter wasn't an easy read if you've never heard a perspective on empty reverence to service members. You made it through, and now we are here, as friends I hope.

I know you have been told time and again you should choose your friends wisely. Unfortunately, I used to have a crappy set of friends. I will be the first to admit this. The friends I had, and the company I kept were, frankly, wretched for the most part. A few of those folks have changed, and I keep in contact with them.

About half-way through my enlistment, I started to realize there are some really smart people I should try to associate with. So, I put the quote I showed you previously into practice. I chose to look at my friends from a different perspective. I have used this perspective for every new friend I have made since.

Friends are supposed to be people you like, and enjoy spending time with, right? Yes, that is one way to look at a friend. But, my friends should be able to teach me something. Knucklehead friends are the worst, and I already have two children. I'm all full up on knuckleheads. When I choose my friends, as an adult, it is a very calculated decision. You should be constantly seeking growth, and your friends should promote this.

You can't pick your family, but you sure can pick your friends. Have you ever had that friend that always asks you for something? Do you have that dimwitted, but very funny friend? You probably do. I ask, are they conducive to your professional growth? Are they the embodiment of who you are, or more correctly, who you want to be? If the answer is "yes" for both of those questions, you have some great friends.

If you want to be a stockbroker, align yourself with people who have knowledge of the markets. If you want to be a software developer, try to hang with the software developer folks. This might seem like some obvious suggestions. But let me tell you, it takes work!

I develop software as a side business, but let me be the first to tell you, the person I am is in high contrast to what society considers to be the norm for a software developer. I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd." These have become terms some folks wear as a badge of honor. I'm not socially inept either. I blame Hollywood for perpetuating these stereotypes, and geeks, and nerds for running with it.

Anyway, I mention my lack of geekiness to make a point. I don't like to spend time with people who seek to reinforce the stereotype of the "geeky computer guy". You know, the guy who goes out of his way to come off weird in every possible situation. I guess they feel that weird is somehow interpreted as genius. I apologize, if you are one of those guys. Anyone who can read can pick up a software development book, and code. Social ineptitude does not precede brilliance.

I have geeky, and nerdy, friends that are software guys. They get under my skin when they go into packaged geeky-nerd mode. However, I have learned a great deal from them. Specifically, I have taken my software development skills to another level purely by engaging in conversation with them. Can you do this with your current set of friends?

Also, try to make a conscious effort to develop friendships with people who are not in the military. Successful people who used to be in the military are great friends to have. This is especially true if these people are successful in your desired career field. If you want to be a chef, I don't know how much a pro-skateboarder friend can help you with that, but I guess you never know.

Always be friends with the boss, no matter how much contempt you possess on the inside. The uniform is always to be respected; that goes without saying, and you are legally bound to this when you took the oath. But, what about the person wearing the uniform? Do you think they want to be respected as a person regardless if rank is in question? Of course! Everyone wants to be respected, admired, and appreciated. Certainly, I'm not encouraging a full-fledged campaign to become America's next top kiss-ass. Rather, I'm merely pointing out the need to get your boss to like you, or at least be indifferent towards you. Ultimately, the former relationship is ideal.

The easiest way to get your boss to like you in the military is to do your job well. Also, never complain about anything in front of others. Volunteering for difficult duties is also a way to establish a few brownie points. You might be thinking, "But I'm getting out, so why would I give my stupid supervisor any additional respect. It is not going to matter." This goes back to what I said about turning it on and off. If you cannot establish a rapport with your supervisor while in, what makes you think it will be different when you get out?

Oh, because you think everything will be different when you get out, right? When the uniforms come off you think the world changes, doesn't it? It does, to a certain extent, but not as much as you may think. Your supervisor can make your transition a great deal easier if they like you. Conversely, they can make it a great deal worse if they don't.

Getting on your supervisor's good side is office politics 101. In essence, do not be the "rebel." Don't be the guy the supervisor hates. That supervisor (the one who hates you), most likely is waiting for any opportunity to make your life more difficult. You don't need that! How about a supervisor who likes you so much they are always looking for ways to take care of you? Honestly, that sounds much better, and that "care" is what can bloom out of a positive relationship.

Equally, looking out for your supervisor is also a great way to build a relationship. Letting him know when shit is about to hit the fan before it actually does is a good way to build a trusting relationship. Notably, trust is a mark of a strong relationship.

Through the years, I have had many bad supervisors. I have had a few good ones along the way, but most were bad. Keep in mind, "good" and "bad" are all relative. I'd like to share a story with you about a time I was on a port visit in Hawaii, while in the Navy. I was asked by my then supervisor, Raul, to be the designated driver for the group we were in. Raul is one of the good supervisors. You may find it hard to believe after this story.

Raul looks like a miniature version of "Bald-Bull" from the punch-out video game (except with plucked eyebrows). Imagine a Puerto Rican version of "Bald-Bull", that's Raul.

I didn't drink alcohol, and Raul feels confident in my abilities to act responsibly. Sobriety is very powerful. Later, I will touch on substance abuse. In fact, I devote an entire chapter on the topic.

As a part of the agreement with my supervisor, I'm allowed to take the car, and go to other places if the group settles into any particular bar for the evening. I tell him very clearly, "Look, I will not act as your chauffeur. So, when I want to go somewhere I will take the rental car. When you need me, just call me, and I will return." This is a clear agreement made between us. The first few days in Hawaiian paradise were great, but the last day is when alcohol got the best of the situation.

We were eating dinner at a seafood spot. One of the group members drinks too much alcohol with his meal, and begins to cite stomach pains. At this instant, Raul drops some money on the table, exits the restaurant, and goes into a bar, leaving me to tend to the drunken sailor in the process.

The sailor's name is "Kyle". Kyle can easily be confused with a black version of Jack, the pumpkin king. His lips are always ashy-white and perched intimately close to his wide nose.

Kyle, the drunken sailor, proceeds to the restaurant's restroom to vomit. Slightly annoyed, I wait on a bench in front of the restaurant for Kyle to reappear from his vomiting episode. He stumbles out of the restaurant and lays down on a bench. The sun is high, on a busy day, in the middle of a shopping mall! I failed to mention that the restaurant we were in resides in an über popular mall in Honolulu. People walking past stare with judging eyes. I'm so embarrassed. Every time a passerby's eyes try to make sense of the sight, I make eye contact with them, and shake my head as to say, "Yeah, I agree with you, this is some bullshit!"

Time passes, and as luck would have it, it begins to rain. Now, at this point I know my supervisor isn't coming out any time soon. I know I have to go into the bar and get the car keys.

I impatiently approach the entrance to the bar. There, I find the door is blocked by the biggest, most hideous man I have ever seen in my life. His physical appearance is both repulsive, and impressive, simultaneously.

"I need to get in to see my friend," I pleaded.

"We are full." Sasquatch responded.

After pleading my case with him he asks to see my ID. He grabs my ID with what seems to be two extra-large bratwursts with joints in them, an index bratwurst and a thumb bratwurst. The man is pure intimidation. He finally lets me in, and I walk over to Raul who is sitting at the bar.

"Hey, let me get the keys." I say.

"I'm getting ready to leave in a minute." He promptly tells me.

So, I sit down next to him and wait. He proceeds to order beer, after beer, after beer. Robotically, he repeats his mantra..."I'm getting ready to leave in a minute" (more beer)..."I'm getting ready to leave in a minute" (more beer). Mind you, Kyle is unconscious, and laid out on a public bench. I tell Raul, "I have to go check on Kyle. Hey, save my seat because the bar is standing room only and there is a Yeti outside giving me a hard time.

I go outside to see if anyone has disturbed Kyle. Looking back, I think leaving Kyle by himself was a bad idea, but someone had to get the keys!

I quickly return to Kyle, he is fine. He is sleeping like a baby, or more vividly, like a drunken grown man, passed out with vomit residue crusting around his mouth. I try to reenter the bar, but this time the big ugly guy is not having it. I plead again, and this time he raises his voice to me. It sounds like large boulders rumbling down the side of a mountain. I back down immediately. I have no liquid courage (alcohol) in my blood at the time. However, I'm no push over, as you will learn very soon. I look through the bar window, and notice Raul let a stranger take my seat. "Mother%&*^@r!" I yell out loud.

So, as the rain pours down on our heads, thoughts begin to enter my mind. I remembered the agreement Raul and I had made and how he had now broken it. Thus, I make the decision to relieve myself of designated driver duties, and inform my supervisor he needs to take a taxi.

Kyle and I had just bought new game consoles that cost about $600.00 apiece. Unfortunately, they are locked in the trunk of the car. Thus, I need to get the keys to retrieve my game console before I leave.

Raul exits the bar in a slight stumble. The drunken smile on his face radiates pleasure. "Give me the keys." I ask calmly, but slightly irritated. He finally hands them over. "I'm not driving you back, I'm getting my stuff out of the car. You can drive yourself, or call a taxi."

"What?" He asks, as if he didn't hear me correctly.

"I'm not driving you back, I'm getting my stuff out of the car. You can drive yourself, or call a taxi." I repeat.

"Give me the...ugh keys baack" his words slurring.

"I will give you the keys when I get my stuff out of the car." I repeat calmly. He does not stop asking for the keys back. He repeatedly requests the keys over, and over, like a child says "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy." Sadly, this is no child. This is a drunken man.

His requests become increasingly aggressive and demanding. Then he says, "Don't make me do it!"... "Don't make me do it!" I have no idea what he is about to do. He reaches in his back pocket and starts fumbling around with his wallet. He then proceeds to pull out his US Navy ID card and says, "ET3 Seray, I'm giving you a direct order to give me those keys back!" This gives the expression "to pull rank" a new meaning. He literally pulls his ID card out of his wallet, which expresses his pay grade, and tries to use it to influence the situation.

There are orders, and then there are "Lawful" orders. I'm not so sure if "give me those keys so I can drive while severely intoxicated" qualifies as a lawful order. Yes, you heard me, just because it comes from a superior does not make it lawful.

I respond to Raul by saying, "We are way past that now, and I will give you the keys when I get my stuff out of the car." Suddenly, he becomes increasingly desperate after his attempt to pull rank is rebuffed. He then proceeds to get physical with me. He takes it upon himself to rush toward me, and reach into my pockets to obtain the keys. Surprised, I pulled my body away, and he grabs my pocket and rips it half-way open. The keys remain buried inside of the pocket material still attached to my shorts. I'm really starting to get annoyed at this point, but being stone cold sober allows me not to overreact, unlike Raul. Quickly, I switch the keys to the other pocket.

Finally, we reach the car and I remove my contents. I look at him and say "Do you want the keys?...Here are the keys!" I toss them on the ground about 3 feet in front of him. A part of me hopes he does not find the keys. I do not want him to attempt to drive drunk. Surprisingly, he cannot locate the keys on the ground in front of him. The keys are literally glowing in the moon light like videogame objects do, when you are supposed to interact with them. Raul is dancing around the keys as if on a surf board, riding a wave, and staring down into the water.

I feel bad for Raul. After all, he still is my supervisor. So, I walk over and pick up the keys for him. Nonchalantly, I extend my hand with the keys. Out of the blue, he grabs my outstretched wrist with his left hand, and backhands me across my face, with his right!

As a reflex, a split second after the back of his right hand strikes my face, I pop him with a quick-little right jab. To clarify, the jab is nothing serious. It is purely to show Raul he can't just smack people, and not expect a commensurate response. Remember, I told you I'm no pushover?

On the alert, I back away from him. I'm not looking for conflict. Specifically, I just want to leave peacefully. I do not want to fight Raul, but I have no problem protecting myself. Then, Raul lifts his hands up, clinches his fists, bends his knees, and begins rocking back and forth like a fighting game character does when idle. I stand there calmly with my hands down by my side and I say, "You don't want to do this, you don't want to do this, stop!"

Ignoring my pleas, Raul approaches me, hands up, ready to duke it out. He has already shown a willingness to inflict harm on me. So, I have no choice. Thus, I ball up my fist and form an imaginary "do not cross" line in my mind half-way the distance between us. Unmoved by my fist clinching, Raul pushes forward.

With the neutral zone crossed, I through a straight right-hand the same way a baseball pitcher throws a fast ball. It lands flush on his cheek, and he goes barreling to the ground. Kyle witnesses everything, and he sobers up quickly.

My supervisor is lying flat on the ground motionless, with the exception of his pot-belly ascending to the sky, and falling back down rapidly. Not surprisingly, some mall patrons inform security. When security arrives we explain what happened. Fortunately for me, the security officers are kids wearing rent-a-cop shirts.

The drunken supervisor scoops up the keys, hops in the car and peels off. Ironically, he cannot find the exit from the parking lot. So, he circles us about three times before finally finding the exit. "Epic Fail" on his part.

I knocked out my supervisor! I'm so scared. Needless to say, the penalties can be severe. Raul is late for muster the next morning. He comes limping across the hanger bay (not sure where the limp came from). He pulls me to the side and says... "Sorry." I remained friends with this supervisor after the incident. He gave me a glowing recommendation when I requested a "split tour" (navy term for transfer of duty station half-way through current tour of duty). He also rated me relatively high on my evaluation. Additionally, I even attended his house-warming party. The incident was kept between Kyle, him, and I. Now you know also.

The Rundown

\- Your friends should bring out the best of who you are.

\- You can't pick your family, but you can pick your friends

\- Being geeky and weird does not a genius make.

-Your boss should be on your (professional) friends list

-Don't be the rebel. Play along, and do the right thing (when ethical).

-Not all orders are lawful orders. Knowing the difference between the two is crucial.

-Have your supervisor's back. Let him know he can depend on you.

-Don't be a pushover. Stand your ground when you are in the right.
Chapter 8

Skepticism and Independent Verification

"Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty."

-Plato

Plato hit the nail on the head some two thousand plus years ago. In the context of this quote, knowledge of one's motivations is critical. To illustrate, has anyone ever tried to sell you something?...No?... Never?...Well let us assume you said "yes"; someone has tried to sell you a product or service. Have you ever asked the salesperson, "What's the catch?" The catch is the motivation. A more direct, but less civil question is, "What do you stand to gain?"

Gauging what people can gain from their actions is a skill requiring quick thinking. Have you received advice from someone that clearly benefits if you follow it? More cleverly, have you followed someone's advice only to discover it benefitted them more than you, after the fact? Consequently, this is why knowing the motivation of the advice giver is important to know. Remember the Machiavelli ideas we saw earlier. The nature of man will prevail.

Take everything you hear about getting out with a grain of salt. I do mean everything, both the good, and the bad. Moreover, always listen to advice and comments in earnest. But, never act on said advice or comments without independent verification. Specifically, you must do your due diligence.

In fact, you should verify every bit of advice you receive in this text. Maybe things are different now? Perhaps, there are new policies, or laws that completely nullify some of the items we discussed? I promise you, it is not my motivation to give you misinformation, but information can turn into misinformation over time, if the source is not updated.

The Rundown

\- Understanding motivations can help you see through the rubbish people try to sell.

\- Don't be afraid to ask, "How does my decision benefit you?"

\- Do your due diligence.

\- Don't believe everything you hear about separating.
Chapter 9

Substance Abuse

I'm going to cut to the chase here. If you are an alcoholic, or a drug addict, seek help immediately! I'm not a trained substance abuse counselor, or therapist. However, I can provide you with some very explicit examples to demonstrate why you should seek the help of a professional. I mentioned some things about myself in the introduction of this book. I also mentioned I was underprivileged. I would also like to share something else with you.

I spent the majority of my childhood living under the same roof with drug-addicted veterans. One was my mother's boyfriend; he is what you call a "crackhead." He entered our lives once my father died. My father passed when I was four years old. Unfortunately, drugs played a role in his life as well. He was a heroin addict for most of my four-year life.

My father was killed in a truck accident. Luckily, my father had life insurance. The life insurance money was supposed to help my widowed mother raise me and my sister. In reality, my father's life insurance money went to the crack habit of my mother's now boyfriend.

Ironically, the crackhead is my father's cousin. His drug addiction started while he was in the Military! It followed him for the rest of his life, like a demon chained to his soul. If I never have to feel the horrifying and spine tingling feeling of communicating with a hostile crack-addict again, it will be too soon.

The guy is a living/breathing contradiction. He eats his vegetables, he takes vitamins, exercises and reads books...but he smokes rocks! I learned multiplication from a crack-addict. I also learned about "attention to detail" from a crack-addict. Sadly, the crackhead's addiction prevents him from holding down employment, or otherwise living a productive life. I only mention these things to reinforce what I said about listening in earnest. You never know what you can learn from people.

I will save the rest of my childhood story for an autobiography or something. Truly, substance abuse is a real problem. I will give you a few more real life examples of substance abuse and the military. A childhood friend and I joined the military around the same time. Yet, he just cannot let go of his past. His name is Tony. Tony is a tall, slender man. The bottom of his chin extends way beyond what is considered normal. He wore braces for what seemed like an eternity. As a result, his teeth are straighter than his character.

I 'm from an environment rife with poverty, crime, and drugs, Tony is too. I actually talked Tony into joining the military. However, I always felt like once he joined, our friendship was never the same. Not surprisingly, it wasn't what he thought it would be, it rarely is, but I feel he blames me for his experiences in the military.

As time went on, Tony regresses more, and more, back into the "hood" mentality that he left behind. At the same time, we grow further apart, because his goals do not align with mine, and you know how I feel about friends.

Abruptly, he falls for a girl who is in the military as well. She goes on deployment and they are to get married when she returns. Marriage, and the family, will get its moment in the sun in later chapters.

All of a sudden, Tony takes the quick, and stupid way out of the military by purposely using drugs before a drug test. This ensures his expedited separation. His line of reasoning is, "I did it because I'm going to become a military spouse. I will reap the same benefits as being on active duty. So there is no reason to stay in."

"Stay in?" I questioned Tony. "I thought you only had a short time left?"

"Man...I reenlisted" He replies dropping a bombshell.

When I hear this, relief immediately washes over me. Yet, the words sadden me at the same time. I feel relief from the guilt regarding his initial enlistment, and the role I had in it. As a result, my hands are now clean. His reenlistment is on his own accord.

The girl promptly lets him know she is having second thoughts about marrying upon return. He is heartbroken, and royally screwed! But, can you blame the girl for her decision?

When I separated, I had to move out of "privatized" military housing. Coincidently, Tony had purchased a townhome right before he got kicked out. He is preparing to move back to Illinois and abandon the house. So, I tell him I would like to rent the home from him. This way, he can avoid immediate foreclosure, and generate some much needed income. He agrees and we met at the home.

I enter the home and a metal object immediately catches my eye, a 9 mm handgun (safety off) sitting on the table next to a bag of marijuana. I think to myself, "Jeez, what the hell happened to you man?"

I occupied the home temporarily, and move about 3 months later after two failed burglary attempts on the home. Additionally, I later discover Tony was not paying the mortgage on the home, even after receiving rental income.

The DUI, also pronounced "dewey,"seems to be a recurring theme in the military. Three of my good friends received DUIs while I was in (one of them Tony). The closer of the three friends was discharged after his DUI. The discharge was not honorable, of course.

This friend's name is "Martin". I have known Martin since I was four years old. His eyes always look as if he is one wink away from unconsciousness. His hairline sits so far back on his head, you cannot tell if he is balding, or just got his front lined up too high.

Martin is a product of my environment as well. But, he has a good heart. He is a Marine, but he somehow manages to avoid getting deployed during the height of the war on terror. I don't know how he pulled that off.

Unfortunately, Martin has a drinking problem. I never openly challenge his drinking problems, because I feel it isn't my business.

After receiving his OTH (other than honorable) discharge, Martin is hired by a major commercial airline. However, he fails the background check due to his DUI. To clarify, I'm not saying that you will not get a job with a DUI. Do not make this assumption. Specifically, I'm saying substance abuse leads to problems.

Martin works his ass off to this day, trying to get to where he wants to be in life. At one point he was working three jobs while taking a full class load online at that good online program in Arizona lacking the word "Phoenix" in the name I mentioned earlier. Martin will get to where he wants to be one day. It is just going to be a harder, longer, road.

I still keep in contact with Martin. Actually, I consider him my best friend (outside of my wife). Additionally, he recently had his DUI expunged, so now his job prospects are looking much better. As for Tony...he is back in the hood, doing hood things, unfortunately. I have not spoken with Tony in almost four years and counting.

The Rundown

\- You have a problem? Get help. It's that simple. It's up to you to complicate things, really.

\- Don't be like Tony.

\- If you come from the hood, leave the hood where you are from.

\- Don't drive intoxicated...this goes without saying.

\- If you get an "other-than-honorable" discharge, life is not over. I promise.
Part 4: Money and Investments

Chapter 10

Don't Buy a House

Home ownership is still very much part of the American dream. In fact, I own two homes as of this writing. However, neither home was purchased while I was in the military.

When I arrive at my first duty station in 2005, the United States is in a great housing bubble. I'm stationed in San Diego, California. Let me tell you, prices on "for sale" signs look like make-believe cartoon numbers.

I joke not, a two bedroom piece of junk home located in the hood of San Diego has a price tag of over $500,000 by the end of 2005. I cannot believe people are paying this much! People are buying them up, and military service men and women are right there borrowing, unknowingly at their own financial peril.

I had a co-worker that was almost a million dollars in debt from home loans. First, he bought a home at a decent price. As a sign of the times, the market values his home at a much higher value a short time later. He takes out a home equity loan on his "new found" wealth, and purchases another house with it. Then, he taps into the equity of the new home. Except, he does not reinvest the money from the loan. Instead, he purchases a fully loaded minivan. Two home loans, and two equity loans later, he racks up almost a million bucks in debt. By the way, he is only an E-6 with no other source of income except his military pay!

He is an extreme case. So, I won't set him as the base for our discussion. I just wanted to mention how ugly it can get.

Another example, I had a buddy volunteer to go to Iraq at the height of the war to pay his mortgage! To defend freedom and democracy around the world...and also pay one's mortgage. Please do not take offense; I write this statement lightheartedly, not maliciously.

You receive higher pay when in a combat zone. He left with hopes the market would rebound while he is gone. Sadly, prices never returned back to their previous highs. As a result, he eventually lost his home. He took out a $300,000 fixed loan and an $88,000 adjustable rate mortgage. As it turns out, his plan was to refinance, or sell, once the equity in his home increases. Markedly, He is an E-5. The home is an hour and fifteen minutes away from San Diego. Specifically, that distance means it is supposed to be "cheaper".

The supervisor I regrettably had to knock out bought a two bedroom townhome in a rough part of San Diego for $360,000. The last time we spoke, the home's value had halved. Earlier, I mentioned Tony bought a townhome. He bought after the market had bottomed out. This was a smart move on his part. Unfortunately, he still lost the home. Tony had no other form of income when he got booted from the military. Eventually, Tony returned home to our home town to get financial support from his family.

All these examples are real. They were bad decisions in retrospect. I cannot sit here and claim I saw the bubble, and knew when it was going to pop. I was in my early twenties, and I hadn't the faintest idea of what was going on in the financial sector of the economy. That being said, something didn't feel right about the prices of these homes. Coming from a smaller Midwestern town, I was able to see the false exuberance via a different set of eyes.

I began to subscribe to the idea of "delayed gratification" around the same time the insane housing bubble was ready to pop. Granted, I should have known about this concept way before my early twenties. I'll admit it, I did not. Of course, I heard clichés and generic statements such as, "good things come to those who wait." But, what does it all mean, really?

The idea of delayed gratification stems from our willingness to delay instant, comparatively smaller rewards, for distant, comparatively larger rewards. A very insightful experiment, called the "Marshmallow Experiment," was conducted to measure the propensity to delay gratification.

The experiment ran like this; a child is offered the option to accept one small reward immediately, or wait for a few minutes to receive a larger reward. If the child chooses to wait, the experimenter exits the room, leaving the edible reward (most times a marshmallow) in front of the child. If the child consumes the reward before the experimenter returns, the child fails to delay their gratification. If the child waits successfully for the experimenter to return, their reward is larger.

The ramifications of this experiment are profound. As the experimenters followed up on the children in the experiments, they found surprising correlations. They found strong correlations between the ability to delay gratification, higher SAT scores, and lower BMI, among other measures. This is profound! What this experiment concludes, is that there is a correlation with self-restraint and success.

You may feel this entire idea of delayed gratification is a self-evident truth. If you feel this way, do you live by this truth? Have you ever lived by it? If you are in the military, and you hope to separate as comfortable as possible, the practice of delayed gratification must prevail. Indeed, military life can be pure hell at times. Not surprisingly, we seek gratification to offset the miserable circumstances we are facing. It is paramount for gratification to be checked at the proverbial door, and filtered through accordingly.

Moving on, I know some more calculated veterans who did most of their time in the 90's. These vets buy homes at almost every duty location they are stationed. They then proceed to rent them out, and eventually sell them when the time is right. I call them "calculated" as a courtesy. Perhaps, it is merely luck. I emphatically recommend against using this tactic. These veterans have property managers helping them at each location. Not all property managers have your best interests in mind.

To illustrate, let us consider my first home. I purchased this home in a small town where services were scarce. The quality of the service was even scarcer. Still, business was booming because of the large influx of oil field workers to the area. Oil field workers generally make decent money, especially during this time. This consumer dynamic inflates prices on almost every good and service. This is especially true for the real estate rentals market. It is cheap to purchase a home. Incidentally, no one wants to live there permanently. Additionally, the nomadic nature of the oil field industry fuels rental demand as well. Not to mention, there has been no major real estate construction in decades, thus causing a blatant housing shortage. Therefore, there exists a massive disparity between monthly mortgages and monthly rents.

I accepted a job offer four hours away from my home. Naturally, I decide to rent out my home in lieu of selling because of the high expected rent. It makes financial sense. My mortgage is negligible compared to the average rents in the area. To put it in perspective, the average rent for a comparable home in the area is about 350% higher than my mortgage. Needless to say, I was extremely excited about this opportunity.

Managing a property four hours away doesn't seem very prudent. So, I call all of the property managers in the area. Property management is no exception to the scarcity of services existing in this location. Consequently, there is a grand total of two management firms servicing my area. Unfortunately, only one of them services other people's property. The other property manager only services homes owned by their company.

I set up a meeting time with the one, the only, property manager in the entire city! Frank arrives at my home with his partner, Bill. Frank introduces himself.

"Hello, I'm Frank. This is my partner, Bill."

The putrid odor of his breath literally lifts me onto my tiptoes. I didn't know the smell emanating from his mouth is foreshadowing the content of his character. He trots around my house with springiness and confidence. He is visually excited as we go from room to room.

We finally finish viewing the house and I ask him, "So, how much do you think this place will rent for?" I already have a rough idea of how much I should charge, mind you. I researched the area previously, but this guy is supposed to be the expert, right? He tells me a figure only about 36% above my mortgage! Please bear in mind, the average comparable home rents for about 350% higher than my mortgage. I thought I didn't hear him correctly. But, he repeats it, and I cannot believe what I'm hearing.

I change the subject to the tenant screening process. He promptly states that he does not screen all of his tenants. Immediately, this worries me. He claims, if they work for the government, or city, they have already been screened. I find this odd.

I also ask him how he handles applicants and rent collection. He says that everyone pays a $25.00 fee, and applies directly through his office. He collects the rents personally, takes his 10% cut, and gives the rest to the owner via a check.

"Peculiar", I think to myself, if he makes everyone pay $25.00 to apply, why isn't he spending that fee on screening? Government workers are not immune to being terrible tenants with horrible credit, and poor criminal records. In fact, there are government employees who are registered sex offenders. Understandably, this comes as no surprise, but my home is in close proximity to an elementary school. The idea of not screening tenants is preposterous, and a horrendously stupid mistake.

Ultimately, he agrees to manage my property (verbally), and left. I then proceed to put my home on Craigslist. I list my home for rent at the market rate (350% above my mortgage). I'm immediately bombarded with telephone calls, texts, and emails about viewing the home. I feel like the belle of the ball.

I call Frank immediately with the good news. At least, I thought it was good news. He tells me, since I put the home on Craigslist, maybe I should just manage the property myself. I'm floored! Doesn't a higher rent mean higher commission for his services? For the life of me, I cannot understand why Frank is unhappy about getting business delivered to him on a silver platter.

The next day, I share my experience with Frank to a coworker in my office. She laughs when I finish explaining all the details. She says, softly, "Frank was going to charge the renters the market price, keep the difference between the price you and him agreed on, take 10% from the amount due to you, and give you what is left!"

This blows my mind. It all makes sense now. He controls 100% of the flow of information from cradle to grave. The fact that I put my list price on Craigslist meant I knew the actual rent that will be charged for the home. He cannot keep the large difference between the market rate and the crummy sum he proposed. Keeping the 10% from the amount due to me is the cherry on top! That slimy, stank-breathed bastard!

I end up managing the property myself. I still manage it today. I have screened out drug-dealers, people with no current income, and pathological liars. One time, a couple came to view the house, and over the course of our discussion I learn they left their three-month old baby in the car. It is June...in West Texas! I immediately halt the viewing and tell them to go get the baby. Thankfully, they left the car running with the air-conditioning on. These imbeciles wanted a five-year lease. As if criminal negligence of their child isn't grounds for rejection, they have no sources of income. As a precaution, if you ever rent a property, screen, screen, screen.

If you have not purchased a home, and you are thinking about getting out, don't buy one. It's a huge commitment. What are you going to do if you get a lucrative job offer across the country, but you own the home you live in? Sure, you can try to sell it. I recommend that you rent until you are ready to settle down, or until you come across an investment that is just too lucrative to pass up in real estate. The latter recommendation I make with slight reservation, however.

The Rundown

\- The "American Dream" might be your nightmare.

\- Don't relent to social pressures regarding home ownership.

\- Delayed gratification should be a way of life in the military (if separating).

\- Be like Tony (regarding timing).

\- Don't try to build a huge property portfolio.

\- Property managers may not always have your best interests at heart.
Chapter 11

Stupid Investments and Sources of Income

I firmly believe one should have more than a single source of income. Right now, I have five sources of income. Allow me to elaborate on this before you think, "Thomas Seray is ballin," because that is certainly not the case. Some of these incomes are much smaller than others, but possess growth potential. These incomes sit in different industries. They range from real estate, to software, to energy royalties.

I used to think the stock market was a good form of investing. In fact, Sam (the dirt bag) was a stock trader. In 2006, he had thousands of dollars tied up in a large banking institution. He often touts his investment with the utmost eloquence. I was enamored by the level of his expertise. As we all know, stocks in the financial sector were headed for a massive decline "shortly" (no pun intended). His shares were valued at almost $60.00 a share in 2006. By 2009, they were trading at about $6.00 a share.

Nevertheless, I proceeded to learn everything I could about the stock market. I bought and sold stock. I lost money. I made money. However, one overarching theme prevailed; the market is rigged. It is rigged by the rich and powerful. The little guy can only hope to scavenge pennies on the dollar if presented with the opportunity. If the market was free and fair, the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) would be out of a job. In fact, the number one role of the SEC is to "protect investors." Protection from what...the sun, or perhaps big foot, hell no, protection from the lying, cheating fat cats that run the markets!

Here is a personal example of shadiness in the market. I was following a computer company's earnings, and product developments for some time. I did my due diligence, and I'm ready to buy. Note, buying right before an earnings announcement is a huge risk. Conversely, the same course of action provides one of the best opportunities for great gains.

I know this company is going to announce great earnings. In my opinion, high earnings are not yet incorporated in the share price, thus making this stock undervalued. I buy $15k worth of stock. That might not seem much for some of you big ballin' players. For me, it is about 3/4 my annual base pay!

Earnings are announced, and the stock falls faster than a drunk on roller-skates! Simultaneously, the news feed reads "Poor earnings" (paraphrased). I immediately sell to avoid too much of a loss. I lose $500 in less than 2 minutes. Quickly, I short the stock in an attempt to make up for the loss. As luck might have it, the stock price turns rapidly to the upside. Now the news feed reads, "Correction: Earnings are great" (paraphrased). I promptly buy to cover my short position, losing another $500.00 in the process. When it is all said and done, I lost about $1000 in less than five minutes. The irony is that I was correct in my initial analysis! What may seem obvious can be obscured, and manipulated, by the rich and powerful.

I'm not saying you should never trade stock if you plan on getting out of the military. On the contrary, I made more money than I lost when I was in. Just know that the markets are not fair. The markets can give a damn about your plans to separate from the military. They are controlled and manipulated.

Incidentally, my stock market exploits are what led me to pursue a degree in economics.

There is too much money moving through the markets for people "NOT" to be cheating. That's just the way it is, sorry if you believe otherwise.

Let me clarify something. Previously, I recommended not buying a home while still in the military. I also said that you should not let a lucrative opportunity in real estate pass you by. This is a bit of a contradiction, I know. I threw that caveat in there because the real estate market still provides for the opportunity to make real money. However, there are market manipulators in real estate just like in the stock market.

Hedge funds are buying up property and creating a false sense of "demand" to raise prices in specific areas, and then unloading them back into the market once price targets are met. That doesn't make them evil. What they are doing is perfectly legal. You just have to be wary about this type of activity if you plan to get into real estate. There are many more pitfalls and legal scams that exist in real estate. Nevertheless, covering them all is beyond the scope of this book.

As another point, the days of relying on a job to be there for the rest of your life are over. Even the military is subject to RIFs (reduction in force).You need to start looking for other sources of income besides your military paycheck. It is easy to sit back and collect a steady military paycheck. It is easy to forget about it until the 1st and the 15th rolls around. Finances are a major reason why people who want to separate stay in against their wishes. This is an excerpt from the reasons document about the power of money in military retention. I surveyed a group of sailors.

"I made a very clear point about why people choose to stay in the navy, I said, "They do it not because of shear desire to stay in the navy or love of one's country or anything noble of that sort, I said they do it because they need it. When I say "need", I mean, they have bills, medical expenses, or debt. It was amazing. Quick analysis: There were 5 people there who reenlisted. They argued my point to the end. One will deny and agree with any and everything to create the illusion that their decisions were the right decisions and they were made with good merit, also known as Denial, or confirmation bias. One example was an OS1 who had been in for 15 years. She argues that she made the right decision to stay in because she needs chemo, no one said she did not make the right decision, the question was "why do people stay in", but she argued and defended her investment of 15 years of her life for medical reasons. Another person, IT2, was more than excited when I asked, "Why did you re-enlist," she said "because they offered me a $20,000 bonus for four more years." I asked an IT1, "why did you stay in," He said "I was screwed if I got out, I just bought a house and I had another kid on the way," another proven point. I asked the IT3, he said, "I thought I would need the money but I was wrong and regret staying in,""

I encourage you to do this little exercise. The results may surprise you. Ask a number of your military co-workers who have reenlisted why they chose to do so. Please do not come off as judgmental, or combative. Sincerely, I hope they give you an honest answer.

Don't get me wrong, there are some who reenlist to serve their country, and put duty before their lives and well-being. These people are the exception and not the rule. Motivation of the self, for the self, is dominant over motivation of the self, for the many. Furthermore, the folks I surveyed suffer from confirmation bias (as most of us do). We try to justify our current position citing incorrect causes. We try to convince ourselves the correct decision was made using incorrect (biased) reasoning.

Even the medical reason for staying in boils down to the almighty dollar. Would the OS1 still be enlisted if she had enough money to afford chemo therapy? The answer is no! She clearly states the reason she stayed in. She needs the chemo therapy. However, she never really clarified if she was undergoing the chemo, or if it was for a dependent. I feel it is a selfless, and noble, sacrifice to continue service to assist loved ones.

Having another source of income before you get out of the military will make the transition much easier. Develop some software and sell it. Sell advertising space in the software. Decorate cakes. Buy a rental property (if it is too good to pass up). Make music and sell it. Do whatever your heart desires. The only requirement is you leverage what you are doing into a source of real income. Certainly, money isn't everything, but you need it to keep the lights on. Unless, that is, you invent an efficient and free alternative to light your home. If you do invent such a thing, sell it, or give it away and accept "donations."

The Rundown

\- Try to create multiple revenue streams.

\- Don't live, or die, by one paycheck.

\- The market is rigged against you. Unless, you are the one doing the rigging.

\- If the markets were honest, the SEC would not exist.

\- You can lose large amounts of money faster and faster every day in the markets

\- Don't pass up a truly credible investment

\- A good investment can only be labeled as such after an extensive due diligence process

\- Don't let money be your only reason for staying in.
Chapter 12

VA Disability

I'm a service connected disable veteran. As we all know, the military is a dangerous place. If you think you can successfully complete four deployments to a combat zone in six years, and come out unscathed, your thinking is flawed. Ironically, my first service connected disability happened in boot camp! I contracted a skin condition...ON MY FACE! I have lived with this skin condition for the past 10 years. There is no cure. That is to say, one can only treat the symptoms. This is an example of a service connected disability.

I know that is not what comes to mind when popular media sheds light on disabled vets. They show sailors, soldiers, and marines with missing limbs rolling around in wheelchairs. "Sailor contracts skin disease while in boot camp" isn't very sensational.

I have other disabilities that are more "interesting." Remember when I said that I did not want to join the Army because of the rifle in desert assumption? Well, there I am in the country of Jordan, walking the flight deck as the "Flight Deck Rover" watch. I have an M-16, 9mm, and other standard combat ready gear. I'm told the last ship that ported here took enemy fire from the buildings on the pier.

Needless to say, I never stood a more vigilant watch in my life than the one in Jordan. The ironic part is that my vigilance towards enemy combatants came at the expense of complete situational awareness. The ship is conducting Landing Craft Air Cushion (LCAC) operations. An LCAC looks like a large black inner tube with giant propeller blades. Pointedly, these blades spin at high speeds, to say the least.

An LCAC is exiting the back of the ship. Unknowingly, I turn my head toward the direction of the exiting LCAC, and BAM! Debris from the LCAC propeller blade strikes my eye at high velocity. All that focus on the enemy, and I'm struck by a friendly.

I immediately contact the chief of the guard to explain what happened. At this point, I have vision only in one eye. He says, "Can you finish the watch?" Being the tough, and stupid, guy I am, I understood it as a challenge. So, I say "yes." I finish my watch, and head to medical.

In retrospect, I should have said, "no." In truth, there may been no one to replace me. Additionally, which is more important, my eye, or the lives of those entrusted to me while on watch?

If you are injured while performing your duties in any way, shape, or form, you need to get it documented. Don't try to be the tough guy, or girl, and just deal with it silently. Even I went to medical for my eye when the opportunity presented itself. Also, a problem that is small now can become a serious disability later. Get all injuries, or physical anomalies, which are service connected documented. Get it documented!

VA disability compensation is one way the military attempts to remedy the ailments caused by your service. Medical care for the disability can be as big as the compensation. If you haven't noticed, medical expenses are rising extremely fast. If you have health issues caused by performing your job, go get it documented. Furthermore, regularly get your symptoms treated officially. Please ensure your medical record accurately reflects medical conditions and issues. Never allow medical personnel to treat you informally, or off the record. Finally, make sure every visit to medical is documented accordingly.

Please do us all a favor. Do not malinger! If you have spent any time in the military, you know exactly what malingering is. In fact, a specific person might even pop into your head when you hear the term "malinger." I'm going to give you the definition of malinger: "to pretend or exaggerate incapacity or illness (as to avoid duty or work)." In a VA disability context, we can add "for financial gain" in the parentheses.

Be honest! If you twist an ankle walking down the stairs at the mall, don't go to your duty station the next day, and say it happened while performing a job-related task.

Unfortunately, some of you folks reading this have already done so. You were injured in other situations, and you blamed it on your official duties. You had it documented. You know you will be seeking compensation for your disability and injuries. You are living proof of what I said about high stakes and money (Machiavelli). I'm not judging you; I'm merely objectively stating the obvious. Don't be offended.

I did something called Benefits Delivery at Discharge (BDD). The VA is a big organization, and the processing of claims has been an issue since anyone can remember. BDD allows you to make a claim within 180 days of getting out.

If you plan to make a claim, I encourage you to use the BDD program. I was rated immediately upon my separation. As a result, I started receiving service connected VA disability compensation the first month after my separation. BDD also gives you a chance to fix issues with your claim, if the VA identifies any, while still in.

The Rundown

\- Get every duty related injury, or perceived injury, documented.

\- The smallest ailments could have the largest ramifications. You are not a doctor (probably).

\- Try to use the BDD program, or something similar if it exists.

\- Never allow informal treatment. Make it official.

\- Ensure your medical record is up-to-date, and accurate.

\- Address any discrepancies in your medical record sooner than later.

\- Don't malinger.

\- Be honest, and don't try to cheat the system.
Part 5: Marriage and the Family

Chapter 13

Marriage and Divorce

If you are married, stay married. If not, depending on how long you have left on your enlistment, don't. I have been married for over ten years. Additionally, I got married when I was only twenty years old. Surprisingly, we were able to stay together through six years of active duty, and four deployments. Oh, trust me; there were many hiccups along the way. Plenty of fights, threats, tears, etc. The good has outweighed the bad through the years, however. Our relationship is extremely rare when it comes to marriage and the military. In fact, ten years of marriage is becoming less common regardless of military affiliation.

The military possesses some interesting dynamics when it comes to marriage. There are many incentives for members of the military to marry. There is free healthcare for your spouse, a larger housing allowance, and family separation pay, just to name a few incentives for marriage.

With these incentives staring you in the face, does this compel you to marry someone you love, or someone you think you can live with while you collect extra dough? Once again, when the stakes are high, human nature prevails.

Marriage as a money making venture is a risk I advise against taking. I have heard numerous anecdotal cases of folks getting caught for fraud. For instance, a guy said his wife lives in San Francisco while he is stationed in San Diego. The address he gives for his wife turns out to be an abandoned parking lot. The motivation, San Francisco's housing allowance is higher than San Diego's. Keep in mind, this example is anecdotal. If you know anyone "suspected" of BAH fraud...steer clear.

What about marriage for love? You want to be around your loved ones as much as possible. Sadly, this proposition is not compatible with the military. Specifically, extended periods away from home are commonplace. Furthermore, long periods without contact will persist. Ironically, this is even with the advent of the most sophisticated forms of communication technology ever devised. Advances in technology have made communication easier, no doubt. There are still plenty of gaps in communication during deployments. These gaps create anxiety, and other stressful feelings.

This stress, and anxiety can become overwhelming and divorce may become imminent. If you are married and getting out of the military, have caution, divorce can ensure you stay in for the foreseeable future. The contemptuous nature of divorce often complicates plans. Assets get divided up, and you may receive the short end of the stick.

I faced a crisis in my marriage at one point and divorce was mentioned. I know I'm getting out of the military and a divorce will definitely derail my plans. I love, and care about my wife. I do not want a divorce. So, we seek the assistance of a marriage counselor at my duty station. Oh man, was this a mistake, or what!

My marriage counselor is a woman. Markedly, she is eight months pregnant. And, coincidentally, a great deal of my marital problems stem from our child. It is brutal. I'm vilified at every turn. Even my wife begins to feel uncomfortable with how the counselor constantly attempts to spin every issue in my wife's favor. Clearly, this is not the objective third-party assistance we expected.

After a few roast sessions, me and my wife worked out our differences on our own. I'm not saying you should not go to counseling, but it didn't work for us. In retrospect, given our specific marital problems, I should have requested a different counselor.

In conclusion, if you have intentions of getting out of the military, a nasty divorce is definitely not something you want to contend with. It's best to wait to get out to get married so you have time to make a marriage work. Additionally, remember what happened to Tony?

Speaking of Tony, I would like to end this chapter with another tragedy relating to marriage.

I'm on my first deployment. Currently, my ship is on a port visit in Dubai. One of my co-workers, ET3 Hansen, has had too much to drink. He decides to call his wife. Now, calling ones wife on deployment would not otherwise seem like a big deal. However, the rumor is that ET3 Hansen is having marital problems. Needless to say, marital problems, alcohol, and deployment do not mix well.

He calls his wife via speakerphone because he is too drunk to hold the phone to his mouth. The phone rings twice, and a child's voice comes across the line. It is his son.

"Hello" says the young child.

"Hey Max! Its daddy." ET3 Hansen slurs.

After some brief father-son dialogue between the two, ET3 Hansen asks Max to put "mommy" on the phone.

"Hey Max, where is mommy?" ET3 asks.

"She is in the room with her friend." Max innocently replies.

"Her friend? What is her friend's name?" ET3 inquires patiently.

"His name is Jeff. Every time he is here, mommy and Jeff go to the "big room" and lock the door." Max says.

"Max, go get mommy please." ET3 says.

At this point, I can hear little max moving through the house to get to the big room. Suddenly, I hear the sound of a door knob attempting to be turned. Then, three knocks.

"Mommy, daddy is on the phone!" Max yells through the locked door.

Dead silence. Max must be a heavy child, because the only sound I hear coming across the speaker now is his wheezing. The walk must have worn him out.

Abruptly, the silence is broken with a sound of the big room's door being unlocked and opened. As soon as ET3 Hansen's wife says "hello", he snatches up the receiver to his head, busting open a small section his bottom lip in the process.

ET3 begins a verbal assault over the telephone worthy of a history channel war documentary. I begin to ignore the sad situation, because it really is none of my business.

However, I cannot help but notice ET3 Hansen is leaning back dangerously in his chair. So much so, he appears to catch himself periodically before falling.

Well, the combination of the intoxication and anger gets the best of him. He leans back too far to catch himself. His descent to the ground is slow at first, but increases exponentially. The phone's cord rips out of the wall while ET3 Smacks the floor performing a dead cat bounce.

I assist ET3 to his feet, and he begins to do the "pre-vomit" dance. His body starts to jerk back and forth in a wave pattern. I immediately step back in anticipation of what is about to transpire.

Then it happens, his face explodes with a dirty rainbow-colored liquid. Surprisingly, his teeth follow the vomit to the ground. He has fake teeth! ET3 Hansen is twenty four years old with a full set of fake teeth.

I have seen many drunken sailors blow chunks in my life, but this particular occasion is a new one. After the vomiting subsides, ET3 Hansen nonchalantly grabs his set teeth off of the ground, polishes them off on his shirt as if they were an apple, and puts them back into his mouth.

ET3 Hansen ended up getting a divorce. He was soon booted out of the military for cocaine use. I heard he met someone on the internet, and moved to a trailer park in Oklahoma to be with her. Perhaps he is happier now?

The Rundown

\- If you are not married yet, wait.

\- Do not marry for money.

\- Don't commit BAH fraud.

\- Don't associate with anyone suspected of BAH fraud.

\- Divorces are costly.

\- Don't be like Tony (regarding marriage).
Part 6: To Get Out or not to Get Out, that is the Question

Chapter 14

What made you Decide to Get Out?

So, you've made the decision to get out. Are you fed up with being treated like a child? Is the time away from family perversely lengthy? Do you feel your creativity is being stagnated?

The questions I presented encompass why I felt the need to end my military career short of retirement. Obviously, your situation may be entirely different. Perhaps you are in a position where creativity is required, or highly encouraged. If so, congratulations, I envy you. Possibly, you do not have a family, or could care less about being deployed every time brass farts. Lastly, you may be treated with respect and dignity the majority of your time (boot camp aside).

If none of these questions strike a chord with you, and you are not being forcefully separated, why are you leaving? If you cannot answer this question immediately, and with extreme detail and conviction, you may need to reconsider your decision. You shouldn't take relatively guaranteed pay, free healthcare, robust education benefits, and tax free shopping lightly. I intentionally leave out honor and glory and other nontangible items. Specifically, there are other avenues one can service their country or community, i.e. firefighting, law enforcement, civilian government service, defense contractors etc. That being said, the military offers some wonderful benefits. Honestly, it is hard to beat these benefits in any other occupation.

Foolishly, it is easy to take benefits for granted. This is especially true if you joined the military right out of the comfort of your parent's house. Pointedly, those who were active in the civilian workforce as an adult, before joining, might have a different appreciation for the perks. If you have never supported yourself, you may be in for a rude awakening. I'm not trying to scare you into staying in. You will see plenty of scare tactics from career counselors, and those who tangibly benefit from you reenlisting. Instilling fear is a great tactic to prevent you from entering into the unknown. Ah, the fear of the unknown, keeping human's dreams at bay since the dawn of time.

Suffice it to say, you should take this decision very seriously. It may possibly be the biggest decision you ever make in your life, perhaps, even bigger than the decision to join in the first place. It is even bigger if you have a family. Now, you have to take every family member's wellbeing into consideration. If you are not ready to get out...don't! Likewise, if you want to get out, get ready.

I can recall many instances when someone would tell me, "I'm getting out as soon as my enlistment is up!" Ironically, I would often find myself eating cake at their reenlistment ceremony a short time later. You may be one of those people. One person, of many, comes to mind when I think about folks who profess loudly their intention to separate.

This person's name is Travis. Travis is about 30 years old. He has been in for about 8 years. He is a top notch worker and very sharp. He has swagger. Travis always says, "As soon as my enlistment is up I'm getting out." That is what almost everyone says where Travis and I are stationed (contrary to acting discreetly). Perhaps he is only saying it to fit in.

He doesn't buy a house, and he doesn't have any more kids. I say "any more" because he has one child. I think he is seriously preparing to get out.

That is, until one morning, when I was walking through the work parking lot. I hear a loud rumble behind me (deeper than the rumble of the bouncer's voice in Hawaii). This rumble is followed by a loud chopping noise. I immediately turn around, startled. There is Travis, sitting behind the wheel of a brand spanking new, fully loaded, 8-cylinder beast. It is completely decked out with the latest bells and whistles.

The first thought that comes to my head isn't, "Wow man, nice car!" It is, "You are a dumbass!" I want to ask Travis if he signed his reenlistment paperwork at the dealership when he bought the car. That car all but seals his future. Sure enough, when the topic of getting out comes up, he is less than sure of his future. He begins saying things like, "I don't know man, I got this car, and this, and that..." Well, needless to say, the cake rolls out. Travis ends up reenlisting. What a flipping surprise, right?

A few short weeks later, he is the acting supervisor for his division. I told you, he was a squared away guy. One of his subordinates is performing maintenance on an electronic switch, but fails to tag out the electricity to the area properly. To "tag out" is to remove power to a specific work area, and place a warning sign on all sources of power to that work area. The subordinate receives a small shock. As a result, she is taken to the hospital as a precaution. Travis takes the blame as the supervisor.

He is sent to "captain's mast". His punishment: placed on restriction, forfeit half-month's pay for a duration, "busted down" to the next lowest pay grade. "Captain's mast" is a form of non-judicial punishment in the Navy.

This is just an unfortunate situation. But, it is a bit ironic. He should have gotten out, in my opinion. His separation date preceded the date of the shock incident.

Buying an expensive car immediately before you plan to separate is really stupid, unless you have the money to burn. I have seen people buy brand new luxury cars within six months of separating. Some still got out regardless of the fact. Some cars can cost just as much as an investment property.

You remember my friend Dan? He is the guy who ran out of money because he used his Post 911 GI bill on community college. He is one of the folks who bought a luxury car a short time before separating. He still separated. I had identical feelings about Dan, as I did about Travis, when I saw the new car. But, Dan defied logic. Do you wonder if his new car has something to do with his money problems regarding college? What does common sense tell you?

Don't take Dan's car buying exploits at face value. We must look deeper. One of the reasons why Dan cannot attend his dream school is because he has an outrageous car note to pay. It is along the lines of $800.00 a month. To put that into perspective, I bought a new car much sooner in my enlistment than Dan. My car's purchase price was 25% of the price for Dan's. Also, I paid the car off in a very short period of time. As of this writing, I have the same car, and I have not had a car payment in about 6 years.

If you think life outside of the military is easier, you are correct, and mistaken at the same time. I choose to have a more difficult enlistment to make my civilian transition easier. That is how it works! You will have to put in serious work while still in to make it easier to get out. If you have made the decision to get out, start living your life and planning your career accordingly.

The Rundown

\- Develop a deep understanding of why you want to separate.

\- Create a "Reasons" document.

\- If you are not sure, don't leave.

\- Don't take the benefits while on active duty for granted.

-Don't say it unless you mean it.

-Upfront sacrifice will lead to an easier transition.
Chapter 15

Retention Efforts

If you are good at what you do, and you are not a complete dirt bag, there will be an honest retention effort targeted at you. Not all retention efforts are altruistic in nature. I mentioned this before. Folks who push retention the hardest are the folks who have the most to gain from it. Some could care less about you as a person, sadly. They just care about numbers on their evaluations and ratings. If everyone knows you are getting out, and you have never been pulled to the side by a "higher up" to have a conversation about staying in...you might be a dirt bag.

The two best retention tactics I have seen are money and fear. Both money and fear were constantly put in my face in one way or another. The dynamic element of money is that it can be money itself, or lack thereof.

First, let us discuss the money. I was offered an $82,000 reenlistment bonus, adjusted for inflation. I obviously did not take it, or else I would not have written this book for you. Additionally, I was eligible to reenlist in a tax-free combat zone. Trust me; the lifers were pissed when I refused to accept what THEY felt like was such a lucrative retention incentive. The decision wasn't made lightly. I promise you that.

That bonus is brought up every time I'm pulled to the side for a retention pitch. It is thrown into my face repeatedly. The person giving the retention pitch would begin calling me things, like "crazy" or "just indecisive", for not immediately signing on the dotted line at the mere mention of the bonus. $82,000 might seem like a large amount of money just to serve a few more years, but life is a marathon, not a race. Do you know your earnings potential in the career field you plan to enter upon separation? Do you know your earnings potential after your undergraduate education?

It wouldn't be a stretch to say you stand to earn more money in the civilian sector. This is especially true if you are in a technical/high-skill occupation. Of course, this all depends on your pay grade and time in service. If you have a high pay grade, then pay may not be that much different in the civilian sector. Do your due diligence on salary expectation if money is a real issue, and by "issue" I mean the most important deciding factor in the separation decision. It wasn't for me, but I still knew my salary expectation before separating.

The second most common retention mechanism is fear, the fear of uncertainty to be precise. The same question is always asked. "What are you going to do when you get out?" If you respond with an "I don't know", you had better be joking. That being said, you don't owe anyone an explanation about why you want to get out, or what you intend to do when you get out. So if you want to say "I don't know", go ahead. However, in the back of your mind you better have the answer, because if you really don't know, you need to stay in until you do know.

The fear of uncertainty is a very effective tool for retention. The retention pitcher can never be proven wrong until after the fact, because the conversation is future focused. I got out at a time when the economy wasn't in the best shape. The fear of economic uncertainty is the fiddle that constantly gets played.

"The economy is bad"...

"What if you cannot find a job?"...

"The military is a guaranteed paycheck"...

"It's hard out there"...

These are a few of the things that will be said to instill fear of the unknown into your heart. In some cases, they were right! The economy was bad. The military IS a guaranteed paycheck.

This retention method is very effective on those who are wishy-washy about getting out. If you have not run all these issues through your mind before you receive the sales pitch...I mean retention effort, don't fret. This is a good thing. Maybe these issues will bring you back to earth, and give you more items that you need to check off of your " things to do to separate" list.

Also, don't get caught up in trying to defend your decision to get out. I did this one too many times. It doesn't end well, more often than not. People get very angry when you have all the answers to their (sometimes) patronizing and condescending questions. Also, people will try to convince you the decisions they made are the decisions you should make also. It is just the nature of man.

There are other retention efforts, but money and the fear of uncertainty are the most powerful unofficial methods.

The Rundown

\- Expect a retention campaign directed at you.

\- There is no altruism in retention campaigns. The people waging the campaign stand to gain, even if it is merely the satisfaction of persuading another human to do their will.

\- Misery loves company.

\- Fear is a prime retention tool.

\- Money is another popular retention tool.
Chapter 16

Leave your Options Open

Burning bridges is a really bad idea. You must remain professional to the last minute of your enlistment. The main reason not to burn bridges is because you never know when you may need to cross them again. I didn't always subscribe to this method of thinking. I acted unprofessionally at points in my enlistment, and burned bridges in the process. I regret such actions now.

The most common method of bridge burning I know, and have seen, is the scathing "Good Bye" email. This email outlines flaws within an organization, and heaves insults left and right immediately before departure. I have even seen this type of email before PCS'ing to another a duty station. However, those who are separating are especially contemptuous in their parting remarks. These fool-hearted emails are immature, and can be ruinous to one's career.

The world is such a small place, and it is getting smaller every day. Hell, the military is even smaller. It may seem like a big military at first glance, but running into former coworkers is a common occurrence. Moreover, we are so connected now, our comments about people, or how we feel, do not sit in isolation. Words have a way of flowing and moving through space we cannot see. In fact, if someone reads this book and writes a bad review about it, millions of people will see this and immediately be turned off. On the other hand, if someone reads this book and writes, "This is the best book about getting out the military there is!"(Which I believe to be true of course) I would be very much grateful for the kind words, and the perception of everyone reading reviews of the book will be altered to the upside.

Your reputation is analogous to my book in the example above. You don't think human resources departments at perspective firms will google your name if their company is considering hiring you for a position? Your scathing email can easily end up in the public domain. In fact, it's in the interest of those you "burned" to put it out so everyone can see what a great person you are.

A more subtle bridge burning tactic I saw all the time was dereliction of duty. Some people just chalk it up to being a "short-timer." A short-timer is someone that has a small amount of time left before they separate or PCS. Short timers have the tendency to become less reliable, and more complacent in their work. This goes back to what I said about turning it on and off. Not only does this get you into poor habits, but it also makes your co-workers and supervisors lose trust in you. If they know you are short, and will do a poor job, then they will not task you. This may be what you want, but staying valuable to your leadership is in your best interest.

I understand; when you are getting out you need all the time in the world to tie up loose ends. Time is needed to take care of the business of separating. In spite of it all, you should still at least give the "impression" you have a "mission first" attitude. All the while, we know your priorities will reside in the getting out process, as it should. Why tarnish the reputation you took so long to make? Keep up the hard work. Keep a positive attitude, and separate like a professional.

The Rundown

\- Do not burn bridges because you never know when you will need to cross them again.

\- Don't write an insulting "Good-Bye" email.

\- Don't get a "Short-Timer's" attitude.

\- Give the impression of "mission first" even when in the separation process.
Part 7: Final Thoughts

Chapter 17

Plan for your plans to fail

"A problem well stated is a problem half-solved"

—Charles Kettering

My wife hates how I make plans all the time. She always says, "Why are you making plans when life can change at any moment?" That's when I reply, "Shut up stupid! You are dumb..."—yeah right, if I said something like that I probably wouldn't be left with enough fingers on my hands to write this book or even a tongue to speak it.

I developed my planning habits while planning to get out of the military. I'm sure you are saying to yourself, "Self...I have plans." Having "plans" is not the same as "planning" in this context. I have plans to retire, but I don't have a "plan." Don't judge me...

My planning method is an "algorithmic" approach. I could probably write an entire book on this novel approach to planning. For brevity, I'm going to give you an overarching view of my approach to planning.

An "algorithm" is basically a step by step operation to solve a problem. There are more formal definitions for the word, but the definition provided will suffice for this discussion. The problem is the focus of your planning.

For example, if you want to get into a good school when you separate, the problem is "how to get into a good school when you separate." I know this sounds simple, but the ramifications are profound! I will repeat the quote opening this chapter. "A problem well stated is a problem half-solved."

Your plans cannot be rigid. Look, I cannot stress this enough. You know from being in the military things change very quickly, and without much warning. Plans must be fluid. This is where the idea of the "algorithm" comes into play. If you are familiar with computer programming, you may grasp this idea a bit quicker than if you have never programmed. Your plans should consist of many "if-then" statements. Each if-then statement can consist of many conditions. As an aside, for you programming buffs out there, yes, you can use "switch-case" or "else-if", or "if-then-else" etc.

Your algorithmic plans should be elegant. It shouldn't be bogged down with minutia. It should solve the problem without any wasted actions, or steps. Your plans must consist of the best actions to take, and the best decisions to make. Don't be discouraged if you find your algorithm loops a great deal. That is part of the process. On the other hand, you must know when to "break" the loop and move on.

Decisions and actions are in your control. Regardless of how it may seem, you control the decisions you make. Consequently, if your plans consist of only your decisions and actions, your plans are too rigid. You must also consider external variables. The external variables are inputs to your algorithmic plan you cannot explicitly control. Some of the more common variables are: money, time, spouse, child, location, job, coworker's action, school. Try your best to take all of the relevant variables into consideration.

One problem with this type of planning is that the output is not guaranteed—unlike good computer code. Try as we might, we cannot program life, yet. As a corollary, learning to code increases problem solving ability. Remember, your plans seek to solve a problem. Therefore, learning to code may help you solve your problems.

The Rundown

\- Clearly define your problems.

\- Plan to solve your problems.

\- Make plans for your backup plans.

\- Your plans must be flexible, and not too rigid.

\- Consider as many external variables as possible.
Chapter 18

So you are out...Now What?

You made it! You have arrived to the land of milk and honey. It is all smooth sailing from here on out. HA! You wish. This could not be further from the truth. Don't think because you separated honorably you can just chill now. You are not out of the woods yet. Now, you get to see what it is like working in the civilian workforce from a different perspective; the perspective of a veteran.

You may immediately notice your civilian colleagues do not share your intensity or tenacity. There are some unique features of the military. One of these features is "pace." As a matter of fact, it doesn't matter if you are an infantryman or a storekeeper; the pace at which you work is probably fast. People work at a different speed out here. It can be a challenge to avoid getting frustrated with your coworker's pace.

You should use your superior level of resolve to your advantage. It is very easy to excel over a slower, less adaptable work force. I have no problem out-shining my coworkers at every one of my jobs since leaving the military. It feels like every challenge that comes along pales in comparison to the challenges the military presented. This is your strength as well.

You have participated in "office politics" at some point in your military career, most likely. If you have not, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise. You may find that decisions made are being attributed to "politics." Politics is all about power. If you pose a threat to a politically savvy coworker, or supervisor, you may be in real trouble. Learning to identify political moves is paramount.

One of the most common political moves is known as "Knowledge Hoarding." You don't know what you don't know, right? That's why knowledge hoarding is such a powerful tool. The guardian of knowledge wields absolute power. That is, until others gain commensurate knowledge. You will find people who will not tell you anything beyond what is absolutely, minimally, required. These people are often insecure about their positions in the organization. They may be threatened by your ability, or work ethic. The easiest way to deal with knowledge hoarding is to refer to explicit learning material first, if it exists. Secondly, you must become involved, and not rely on information to be flowed down to you.

Beware of the smear campaign. I have had this one happen to me. The most recent attack on me was an "experience" attack. An older coworker consistently ridiculed me in public whenever I made a mistake. He always cited "experience", or lack thereof, as the reason for the mistake. This is by no means an uncalculated action, but a politically guileful tactic. You see, the older employee lacks critical skills that are necessary to excel at his position in this day and age. I possess those skills. This inherently makes me a threat to his status in the organization. The irony of the entire situation is that he makes similar mistakes, and his are not attributed to being "inexperienced". They are "honest" mistakes (as he calls them). What a crock.

Needless to say, I quit communicating with that coworker. It makes me laugh when I see him chugging away on manual tasks I have long since automated with code. He could have learned so much from me, but he let hubris get in his way. His status in the organization diminished as mine rose.

Status is great, but does the status translate to tangible benefits? There are a number of ways to measure status in an organization. Money earned is, by far, one of the most important measures. In other words, money is one way to determine how much the organization values your inputs. This is in stark contrast to the military's way of communicating value or reverence. The colors on your chest and the medals you earn replace financial reward, for the most part.

This approach to compensation was devised many years ago by military leaders. Instead of rewarding bravery with money, which was often in short supply, they rewarded deeds with ribbons and medals to project their achievements. In spite of this tradition, I never bought into this form of compensation. I'm the recipient of many achievement awards, but they really do not mean anything to me. In all honesty, a number of achievement awards are used as leverage in the rating process for promotion considerations. Promotion means more money. As a corollary, my child cannot eat an achievement medal, nor can my wife pay her college tuition with "ribbons" ("yellow ribbon" aside, drumroll cymbal crash, badda boom, thank you I'll be here all night).

This perspective gets you thinking differently about how you should be rewarded for your work. Letters of commendation, and cheap plaques make for great decoration, but is that what you are working for? Are you going to wear your awards on your polo shirt to prove how valuable you are? Of course not. Money is the reward of choice. I know it doesn't sound modest or admirable, but I'm not telling you this to be diplomatic. You don't want a company to keep feeding you worthless achievement awards in the form of words printed on fancy paper. If your efforts are not appreciated enough to get some extra money thrown your way, it might be time to move elsewhere. This is especially true if your efforts generate profit, or cuts cost for your firm.

Another issue I commonly experience is former rank differences. Letting go of your military rank is something that requires a conscious effort. This does not apply only to higher ranking service members. If you are separating at a relatively low rank, letting go of your lower ranking mindset is just as important.

I worked alongside many other veterans after separating. Although, these occupations were in varied fields, there was one common occurrence that persisted. If I was in a group, or on a team with a veteran, once ranks were known, the tone shifted immensely.

I separated at the relatively low rank of E-5. It's not hard to find a veteran that outranked me by several paygrades while in. This creates conflict. Some veterans feel like their rank in the military should carry into the civilian workforce. This is a mistake. One doesn't have the right to treat a veteran who was an E-5 in the military differently just because one was an O-5. Unfortunately, I have seen it, and have been a victim of it.

I'll provide a very subtle example of this unfair treatment in action. I have to visit a satellite office for training. I never met anyone at that office before that day. I'm introduced to a few employees at that office by my colleague.

Training is going well. Above all, everyone seems to be clicking together harmoniously. We all go to lunch as a group during our break. As we socialize, I find myself in a side conversation with one of the satellite office employees. The conversation is going great. I can tell I'm talking with someone who is really smart. Then, I notice the person I'm speaking with has a blue and yellow lanyard around his neck that reads "US Navy." I politely ask, "Were you in the Navy?" He promptly states (pompously)

"I retired as an O-5...what rank were you?"

Given the context, this is akin to asking someone how much money they make, or inquiring the age of an older woman.

I'm taken aback by this follow up question. It's not, "Did you serve also, or where you in the navy also?" He presumes I'm a vet. I knew what he was doing. His curiosity wasn't innocent or sincere. I can tell by his tone. I respond.

"I was an E-5 when I separated"

His body language suggests he is let down or otherwise not impressed. The mood shifts and the air changes. He immediately loses interest in anything I have to say from then on. I was a brilliant conversationalist two minutes ago. Now I'm an uninteresting lackey. Honestly, I can care less how he feels about me. His shift to arrogance is not what caused a problem between us later down the road.

A few weeks later, I have to send this former O-5 an email requiring a prompt reply. He promptly, NEVER responds to my email. Other email traffic with him is addressed without concern, I later found via my colleagues. I give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he meant to reply to the urgent matter and just forgot. We are all human, even silver oak leaf wearers. I send him a second email two weeks later. I never get a response. This is obviously intentional.

As luck may have it, their satellite office has to pay a visit to my office for a meeting. I walk into the conference room of our meeting as cocky as a rooster. I immediately walk over to the former O-5, look him dead in the eyes, and sternly ask,

"Why haven't you responded to my emails?"

I receive a deer in the headlights look. Let me digress for a moment. I mean business when I'm at work. When I have a job to do, I get it done. The semantics of past ranks do not get in my way, and they should not get in yours.

The former O-5 puffs up a bit and gives me the "Who in the hell are you talking to like that" look. He finally puts some words together to provide a rebuttal.

"Um, Um, you said you were going to email me again?" He says uncertain.

"I did email you again. I also called you." I say.

After this point, he is saved by the meeting moderator convening the meeting. Consequently, every time he asks me a question or makes a statement to me, I feel it is my solemn duty to make him look and feel ignorant.

I would not attempt to talk to someone with that paygrade in such a way while on active duty. In fact, I never did. Trust me, I felt like doing it on numerous occasions.

Rank disassociation is paramount. In this case, I need to get answers and obviously the former O-5 doesn't feel obliged to provide them to me. It creates conflict.

That former O-5 was not in my chain of command. There is a chain of command in any place you work. You must understand, just because someone makes more money than you, they do not have the right to task you. This is not true in the military. For example, if a senior ranking person gives you an order, you are obliged to carry that order out, if lawful. It does not matter if that senior ranking person is in your immediate chain of command. This is not the case (in my experience) in the civilian workplace. Other divisional leaders do not have the authority to task me. My supervisor does. You may end up somewhere that has a different culture. Perhaps your organization is top heavy, and there are folks that jump at the chance to task people. I hope this is not the case for you. It is up to you to ascertain your workplace's culture.

If that former O-5 was in my chain of command, you can bet my tone would have been much different. This goes back to what I said about positive relationships with supervisors. If one is not in my chain of command, one can ask me for a favor. Conversely, if one attempts to task me under the same circumstances, their efforts are futile.

The Rundown

\- Understand that not everyone shares your values.

\- Use your skills to your advantage.

\- Understand office politics.

\- Awards are not money, unless, of course, if the award is money, and not a ribbon, medal, or plaque.

\- Your rank in the military is not your rank in your civilian position.

\- Know your chain of command.
Welcome to the "Reasons"

These are the reasons why I chose to get out of the military. I tried to leave this document in its original form. Some of it may be offensive. Names and specific locations have been changed to protect identities.

1. I was told my orders are changing from the USS Destroyer (fresh from deployment) to the USS Carrier deploying in about two months. So much for a slow introduction to sea life.

2. A sailor was just killed on the USS Carrier. His skin was melted off of his body by scalding-hot water. I'm looking forward to checking into my new command now!

3. I was told by someone stationed on the USS Carrier that a sailor was found in his rack (bed) dead. Apparently, he overdosed on heroin. How bad must it be for someone to do heroin while at work? Not just that, the sailor's willingness to consume such lethal amounts is frightening.

4. I bumped into one of the medics that was on the emergency aircraft that evacuated the sailor whose body was skinned by molten-hot water. I'm at the commissary checking out, and he notices my command ball-cap protruding from my pocket. The cap displays the USS Carrier insignia. He immediately expresses his sympathies to me. This seems to be the norm anytime someone finds out my command. He tells me how he was medically discharged due to mental illness stemming from his attempts to save the dying sailor. He says, "The sailor didn't die immediately. He wailed with agony. I was powerless. Anyway, I feel sorry that you are stationed on that ship. It is cursed."

5. My wife gave birth to our son 2 days ago. My leave could not get approved in time. So, the master chief had me fly out to the ship, USS Carrier, to check in. They flew me off the ship the following day! What a waste of tax dollars! No one knew I was flying off the next day. Everyone thought I would complete the entire underway while my wife is at home with no family or friends to help with our newborn child.

6. I deployed twice in a year.

7. I have missed over half of my son's 2 year life.

8. I have never met my wife's side of the family because I keep getting deployed!

9. I got sent to the security department. It was either this, or go cranking (cafeteria duty).

10. I have to go on my third deployment in as many years this May. I did a split tour to get off the USS Carrier, and I ended up on USS Amphib. USS Amphib just returned from deployment, but our overzealous CO just volunteered us to go back on deployment in place of another broken down ship. Instead of doing a crew swap.

11. I make less money than the average American worker, but I work more hours than a sweat shop employee in a third world country. 4,320 hrs. in a six month period. 1,440 is a bit above average. I get a salary that equals about 2 dollars an hour!

12. I had to help IC3 Gomez set up a mic and speaker, and play Christmas music, while on duty for 24 hrs. As the Christmas music plays I look around at all the smiling faces and joyful singing of familiar Christmas Songs and I think to myself, "through all the bullshit that we have gone through and all the loneliness and anguish that this job has caused so many, maybe it is all okay, and the Christmas spirit has touched everyone," but suddenly the music in my ears stop to the tune of IC3 Gomez telling me, " hey don't come down here without a belt on, QMC( chief quarter master) said go back up and put a belt on," I was wearing coveralls, a belt is not needed in coveralls, it is part of a uniform. There is no remorse for petty bullshit, Christmas or not!

13. It was a very cold morning today. I had my hoody on and when I got to the ship, the OOD (officer of the deck) told me, "take off yo [sic] hood," I took it off, showed him my id, and put my hood right back on.

14. Today I saw the watch bill, I'm designated 8 hours of watch, 4 with an M-16 from 7:45 am to 11:45 am and four dressed up in dress blues and a 9mil from 3:45 am- 7:45 am, the dress blues are very uncomfortable.

15. I forgot to shave, so I had to shave before quarters or else I will get in trouble, like a child gets in trouble for not cleaning his room.

16. Someone has stolen my belt and belt buckle. I was asleep when they took it. It is Christmas Eve and people steal things off of their coworker's clothes. These are supposed to be the people who I can depend on to save my life if we were in a battle.

17. Ah, the navigator, "gator" for short. Well, he looks like the navigator on my old ship but he is the Bosn here on the USS Amphib. He stands erect on the boat deck staring down on everyone who is coming to the ship as if we are worker ants, and he is the owner of the ant farm. It would not be an issue if he was not staring down on us. His posture and position was almost as if he was saying to us, "Yes! Come to work, I' am your boss, you are beneath me!" I forget his rank but he is an officer, but formally enlisted!

18. I had to go do pier sweepers this morning. I have to clean the pier. As I walked down the pier picking up individual cigarette butts with my bare hands I thought, "I'm an electronics technician, and here I am doing custodial work, again!" That was right after I had hauled 100 pounds of trash that had been left for me by my coworkers. What a great start to Christmas EVE!

19. It was Christmas Eve and I was at home with my son, I had just got off duty the day before. Duty is a 24 hour work day! I get a phone call from one of my coworkers, Davis. He say, "Hey NAVMACS is messed up." He says it as if I was to put on my "go navy" superhero uniform, and fly there to fix all their problems. Well, after a few troubleshooting steps given over the phone. It was obvious they could not fix it by themselves. I knew in my mind, and heart, it was a stupid operator error, but nonetheless I had to go. I had to wait for my wife to get off work to watch our son. I called her and told her the situation and she was mad. I went to the ship, and fixed the stupid little operator error and received a thank you and a pat on the back. I got back in my car and drove home feeling used like a child being called upon by his parents to do their will.

20. It is New Year's Eve. I have duty today! I will not be able to spend the New Year with my family. I knew I would have to be on the ship for 24 hours going into the New Year, so I invited my wife to come to the ship after she got off work at 6pm. However, when I got here I saw that I had the 2000 to 2400 watch today! That means I cannot spend time with my family even when they come to my job after working hours on a holiday! If I declined to come into work, they will put me on restriction.

21. I went to get something to eat because the food on the ship is very terrible. Not only is it bad for your taste buds, but it is bad for your health. Ironically, the navy tries to hold us to physical standards when in fact they feed us fatty crap. So, I walked inside the navy exchange (NEX) to buy a new belt, replacing the one stolen from me previously. I walked into the store and immediately people begin to stare at me as If I were naked! Well I might as well have been naked. I was in coveralls, OMG! I was in coveralls! (Sarcasm). Well, as I searched for something healthy to eat in the store, a woman came around the corner and says "Shipmate", hearing this word directed at me made my blood boil. The term is disrespectful. She says, "Shipmate." I looked up at her with hesitant disgust. "You are not allowed to wear coveralls in here." Her voice was so gross. She sounded like she was pinching her nostrils together. "Pass the word. There is a sign on the door that says no coveralls." I walked away feeling embarrassed, and thankful for another reason for me to get the hell out of the navy. Well it was not over. I walked to the check-out to pay for my new belt, and there she was again! I squinted my eyes to see if there was a sign in the window. I did not doubt that it was, but she insisted, "see right there, right there!" I nodded my head as if to submit to her insistence. I kid you not, the sign was as small as the runt of a batch of miniature bagels, but hey, attention to detail, right. Petty crap. By the way, my coveralls were spotless!

22. My relief was 20 minutes late for watch, what a way to start the New Year! Getting screwed!

23. I have duty today, and I have to work tomorrow. This means I will be at work for 36 hours straight! That is as much as some work in a week! My wife works today, and we do not have a child care provider, because we think Jacob was being abused by someone in the babysitter's house. I cannot take care of my son because I will be at work for 36 hours! My wife has to quit her job because my job is hogging her husband and Jacob's father. This really sucks.

24. I was trying to leave the ship because I thought I had a school convening today. When I tried to leave the ship, the watch challenged me like I was a suspicious character, and not one of her coworkers. She just did not want me to leave the ship!

25. I just found out that I will not have a weekend off for about 3 weeks. They are making people come in on Saturdays to do training. The reason being is the short notice deployment that came out of nowhere! We will cram all this crap and hope for the best when we deploy into a war zone.

26. My wife came to bring me some food because I have duty. I have to stay on the ship and eat the crap they serve. I went to go get the food and the CDO (Lt. Walker) was watching me like "I can't wait to snitch on him if he does anything!" I went to get the food and sat in the car with my wife and kid (I did not leave anywhere) when I got back they told me Lt. Walker had reported me! What the hell? Is he serious? Yes. This is what I'm talking about. These are children with rank! I will never reenlist! Never, do not forget Thomas!

27. This week was an 84 hour work week! What the hell is that! 2 duty days in a week and 8 hour work days! I should get double the pay, right! Hell no, If I did I would get paid well, but I make less than the average American (fact)! Get out and make money! 84 hour work week, fulltime college classes, wife, kid, 3.2 GPA! It is 2:34 am and you are up reading poetry for English class. You can make it in the civilian world! Don't let this situation ever hold you back.

28. I guess all the khakis take turns looking down on us as we walk to work from our cars. It is really a symbol of, "I'm higher ranking than you, and I look down on you like ants." When in reality, these are guys who were scared and could not make it in the civilian world. There, if you are stupid and you mess up, you lose your job. Here, is a dummy's paradise, you can be a complete screw up and make rank just for staying in.

29. Today I have duty. I have 8hrs of watch today (double watches). I did not do anything wrong, it is just how it is. The CO just told us we will be underway 3 weeks in Feb. This means I will not be able to take my math class I already bought a book for, it was $100.00. Also, I cannot use all of my TA for the year, because we will be on deployment and internet sucks on deployment. This really sucks. I will not re-enlist. I do not care if I stay on deployment until my EAOS. They will not hold me here. I worked 64hrs this week. I'm struggling in my classes and my mental sharpness is fading. If I reenlist, I have no soul, I have no courage.

30. They just made me damage control petty officer. They also expect me to work on electronic equipment here, because the guy who works on it has to get surgery. Now if this does not sound like a screw job, I do not know what one is, and trust me I know what a screw job is. This is me being assigned to another division and still having to do the bullshit with another division.

31. I was called in yesterday to work on NAVMACS. It was Sunday and was the last day I had to spend with my family before a 5 day under way.

32. This is a five day underway, which means 120 hours at work! That is 3 weeks of a regular job.

33. I was just informed that I have to write an essay about what the sailors creed means to me. WOW! I'm a child! The reason is because there has been a miscommunication and someone has told lies about me. The fact that the powers that be do not believe me disgusts me.

34. We were supposed to pull in today. Well, like everything else in the navy, stuff is not certain. I'm not certain if I will see my family today, I'm not even certain if I will see them tomorrow. I have no choice. I 'm stuck in the middle of the ocean on a captain's accord. This is why I'm not staying in!

35. I was studying for my advancement exam and found this in the leadership manual. They actually teach this. "In the civilian context, leaders can give orders and subordinates determine if they will comply or quit their jobs. Military subordinates do not have that choice. Orders must be followed." (Work center Supervisor leadership guide, p. 36). This is why some people who give orders are such poor leaders, because they have the crutch of the law on their sides.

36. It is 10 pm; I'm still here at work. I got here at 7am. I had to stay here doing absolutely nothing. Yesterday I got off at 9pm and I did nothing almost the whole day, because I completed all of my assigned tasks. MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

37. My son is starting to detach from me again due to my absence. This is terrible and I hope I can be patient and hold his love and affection.

38. I had to do a ladder climb today for the VBSS team I was so graciously volunteered for without prior knowledge. There was a miscommunication of times. I showed up well before the time I was supposed to. Chief Jones was giving a safety brief and after about 5 minutes of me being there he says "did you just get here!" I said, "Like 5 minutes ago." His tone was yearning for respect. He promptly said, "You need to leave!" I wanted to say, "Way to go! You are respected."

39. As the ladder miscommunication played out, I went back to the ship. I was not able to get on board due to force protection exercises. I waited around for about 2 hours, so I decided to go to the NEX to check out some magazines. As I was going, I saw one of the chiefs that were leading the FP exercises. I commenced to talking to him about when I will be able to board the ship. As I was talking, I guess an officer walked near me, and had his hand up to his forehead for a salute. Now, I was engaged in an important conversation and this guy bumps my arm and says, "Hey", as to tell me to salute him. I threw my hand to my forehead in disgust. The way he said "Hey" was to implicate I was doing something wrong by not waiting for him to come out of nowhere and demand a salute. He was very rude.

40. After I finally got onboard I waited around my work center for a while and there was no one to be seen. Lunchtime came and I went with a coworker to lunch. When I got back I was told my chief was looking for me. I spoke with him and he asked me where I was this morning. I told him what everyone else already knew! This is an E7, I'm an E4, why is this person sniffing behind my backside. Doesn't he have better things to do, like lead a division? I told my LPO who is two ranks above me. Why is he trying to get info out of me, talk to your appointed LPO. I will not tell everyone who out ranks me when I step left or when I step right, stand up, sit down, etc. I will never do that. I'm my own man, and I will always be so long as I'm on this earth. The military will never take my mind, spirit, or soul.

41. It looks like the OSs sabotaged a piece of equipment I have to work on so they do not have to stand watch. I have to work day and night playing detective instead of technician.

42. I'm troubleshooting a data link I have never seen before. The data link has a 4 to 6 month formal school associated with it. The data link here has not worked since a year ago, way before I got here. We have a link tech here, and she is an E-6. She never wanted to help me trouble shoot and when she did, she weaseled out of it, skated off, and disappeared.

43. My chief just sent an email out telling us that we cannot play video games on our spare time, well in the same hour, he sends us a link to video games that he found for us to play. What is that?

44. I just found out that there will not be a stand down after the six month deployment. I heard the same thing when I was on the Carrier, but it did not happen.

45. Bill Cottrell from tallahassee.com, regarding life on a carrier wrote, "I'm not 12,000 miles from home, living in cramped and crowded spaces in a metal building with airplanes launching and landing on the roof, doing the same hard, repetitive work 16 and 18 hours a day, for months at a time."

46. This was the last day I had to spend with my son. I have to work every day leading up to when I deploy. I woke up at 7:22 pm. I cried the entire morning while looking at my son. Every time I looked at him I began to weep. All of the thoughts about my son smiling and talking at the little age of 2 are overwhelming. Just thinking about how this terrible deployment will break our relationship once more kills me. My son was completely oblivious to my tears. He was happy, laughing and singing while watching Beauty and the Beast. He has no idea his father is leaving for a long time. I love you Jacob. Daddy loves you. I know you love daddy. I could not stop crying, it was uncontrollable. He will forget who I am, again. He will be uncomfortable when I return. I know, because this has happened twice already in his life. This is my third deployment in his lifetime!

47. The day before we deploy. I have duty! I was transferred to another division yesterday for the second time. Last time I was transferred I had to stay with my new division until 9 or 10pm for engineering stuff. At the same time, my parent division was getting off work at 1 or 2pm, but I had to stay because I'm in this new division (ER09). ER09 controls my liberty. Well, yesterday ER09 got off work earlier than the ET shop, and I left also because they control my liberty. Well, I left and got my son from daycare and spent the last few hours with him. I knew I had duty tomorrow and I need to spend time at home with my family. As of today I will not step foot in my home for 6 to 8 months. Well, the ET chief calls my house! I was not at home because I was with my son. He leaves a message saying "that I was not allowed to go on liberty yet and I was to return to the ship." To me, it sounds like they are trying to have their cake and eat it too. They want me to stay with the division who leaves the latest. Sorry, I see how it is already with them putting me in ER09. I wasn't even supposed to go right now, and the reason for me going was ET3 Davis had to go to 2m school so he cannot take over for Stone, which is fine, and I understand. But, then I went to school the same time as Davis and no one relieved Stone and then when I came back and Davis came back, I was going to go to another school so Parker was going to take over and he had been cranking twice already. You see where I'm getting at. There is favoritism going on. I did not go to school so instead of Parker taking it they gave it back to me. So, I say sure I will take it and I will do it and under the circumstances, I will not help with any endeavor that is extracurricular to my ER09 job. I left yesterday because my division was off and I needed to spend time with my son. So if I'm punished for that, I just do not care. The ET chief has no idea how disrespectful he is. I have less and less respect for him every day.

48. I must elaborate on this man calling my house telling me to come back. First of all, I'm a man, in every sense of the word. I'm not a coward, I'm not a pushover, and I sure as rain will not be treated like a child willingly. I will oppose that type of leadership in any way possible. You are an E-7, not a chief. You have terrible people skills and yes, people skills are a requirement.

49. Let me start off by saying, WOW! This has been a terrible three days for me. I feel like people are trying to make my life difficult. Everyone else is always chilling and not doing anything, but I'm always busy doing something I do not want to do. I know I have to work, but damn. I have the 2 to 7 am watch today and as soon as I wake up they tell me I have filter maintenance.

50. Oh, my LPO eaves dropped in on my conversation and told chief on me, how professional is that?

51. My wife said my son woke up at 4am to look for me at home! I'm not there. He came back to where my wife was sleeping and said "daddy, boat." I want to tell him, "yes Jacob daddy is here and I will be home soon and I love you." I feel dead. Dead, because I cannot talk to my son or see my son. But, I still know how he feels through my wife's emails. I would have to be a terrible father to reenlist.

52. I feel like I'm being ripped apart. I have been doing so many things at once. There was an incident where my chief did not understand what the problem was with NAVMACS. I fixed it and it was all good. He asked to go see it, and started pointing out things that had nothing to do with NAVMACS. Like, "look there is some dirt over there in the corner." This is his way of compensating for his lack of intelligence. He is not a very bright guy, and a terrible leader. He gives orders to make himself feel better. He is an E-7 with no people skills or friends.

53. At quarters this morning, I looked at the ER09 chief and thought wow, you look like a total ass hole. Sure enough he is, and was wanting to send people to mast to put them on restriction to help do mandatory manual labor. Such a petty man.

54. We have another "berthing Nazi." TM1 Robinson. This is a guy who has nothing better to do with his time except worry about stupid little berthing policy, i.e. towels folded and curtains being placed up. This guy has been in for almost twenty years! He is still an E-6! That is terrible.

55. Someone ripped the blue curtain down in berthing because it is very annoying and the berthing Nazi insists that it stays up. He said that if someone does not confess to it, there will be a berthing watch established. Déjà vu! The same thing happened on the Carrier. The same crap, just different faces!

56. I just found out I made E-5. I made it faster than about 80% of other people in my job. But, I don't feel the excitement I thought I would. I still hate my navy life and I cannot wait to get out! This is how they keep you, they throw you a bone, i.e. advancement, and you're stuck! Not me! I will never stay here! Never. I don't care if I made E-5 or not. I love you Vanessa and I love you Jacob, you are my life.

57. I did not get a chance to comment on ET3 Moore. Well, she is gone. She could not cut it. She tried to drag my name through the mud to make herself look good when I was at DWIT'S school. Now look at her. Everyone thought (except me) she was such a great worker and sailor. She painted, she cleaned, and snitched on people. That is all she did. She never proved her technical ability, because she had none. She was straight out of school and had no experience. Well, I told ET3 Hall from the beginning that Moore was garbage, and he did not believe me either. Well, she could not hack it. She claimed she would kill herself, and now she is gone. Deployment is tough. Way to be a good worker Moore, you are garbage, and I always thought you were. Oh, and I forgot to mention, she was a liar also. Good riddance.

58. What a LOSER! He is always telling on people and tries to involve everyone in situations that can be handled at the lowest level. He can't get promoted so he acts like a jerk. I'm the same rank as him, and I have only been in the military for three years and ten months. He has been in for over twelve years! What a loser. He cheats on his wife, and he is a racist. He tries to act intelligent, and argues if you correct his ignorance. ET2 Edwards you need to look in the mirror and make a change.

59. We have a little snitch running around named Parker. He just got someone in trouble for playing around, and he dimed me out about watch standing.

60. It is amazing how I have such enormous responsibility with the equipment on the ship, but I cannot have a goat tee, or sideburns. or put my hands in my pocket. This ship is hot and rocking back and forth, and people are bitching and snapping at each other.

61. I cannot go around our "replacement" ETC without him asking me about a task. This is so annoying. I want to study for my last test and I cannot go around him without feeling uncomfortable.

62. I have noticed a slight drop off in motivation to get out. This must end now. I must guide myself through this garbage and get out. Remember, to stay, is to fail.

63. Oh, wow, I had fixed a problem with our message system for the ITs and their chief was extremely ecstatic. He called my chief and told him what a wonderful job I had done and how amazing I performed as a technician. He told him to give ET2 Seray a pat on the back and congratulations. Well, that was not the congratulations I got at all. All he said was ITC said "thank you." That's it? I was right there when he called him. He said more than that, lots more. But hey, shady stays shady year round. ETC Thompson is a shady cat, and I've only worked with him for two weeks. Thank you ETC Thompson for giving me another reason for wanting to get out.

64. Well, what a surprise. They cancelled our port visit in Egypt. We are instead going to Bahrain for maintenance, and more work.

65. I just took my managerial accounting final today. I'm pretty sure I got an "F". The test was scheduled the same day I took it. I will probably have to take that class again. My eye was cut by debris flying off of an LCAC propeller. I have a very puffy eye with thick antibiotic ointment covering it. I had to take a final today with a cut eyeball! I will work harder and work smarter, but I must not waiver now. I must keep up my drive, do what it takes, and divert all of my effort towards things that set me up for a comfortable civilian lifestyle.

66. Let's talk about racism. We seem to have a racist among us. The ironic part is he is half Mexican. This used to be his benefit of the doubt, but he has long since depleted that benefit. He is a sad soul. He has wasted most of his adult life in the military blindly following those who have wasted more. To use a more broad/ familiar term, he is a "loser". This guy was a marine, got out of the marines to be a civilian, and could not cut it as a civilian, so he came back in the navy. Well, ET2 Edwards has exhibited his racist opinion on more than one occasion. The most recent being: He told a fellow sailor that one of the black sailors due to get out soon will be "on the street asking him for change." When the listening sailor defended the black sailor who wasn't present, Edwards goes on to say, "And I will buy him his Gin and Juice." He is a racist and a sad soul.

67. They secured water. That means no drinking water, no washing of clothes, nor washing of hands.

68. They secured the gym because there is no water. I was trying to get back into shape because the food here forced me to seek nourishment via vending machine food. I told my wife I will be in the best shape she has ever seen when I get back.

69. We are on our third CO right now. One was fired, a temporary took over, and now the permanent one has arrived. Everyone is confused, dazed and clueless.

70. We are headed back to the Gulf for the second time this deployment. We are supposed to pull into Bahrain tomorrow. This will be the first liberty we have had in 36 days! Don't get me wrong, on the Carrier we went spans of 45 days with no ports, but that sucked also.

71. It is too freaking hot in Bahrain. It's even worse when you have to deal with idiots the whole time. It is so funny how behind the rest of the navy this ship is. This is like a repeat from the Carrier. The Carrier was an abrupt mind bang, but it stayed constant and became increasingly anal. This is the navy as a whole now. No matter where one goes in the navy, you will have to deal with people like TM1. He is one of the reasons I'm not staying.

72. We just spent an hour and 15 min in 100 degree temperature in an enclosed space listening to people read off of a card for training. The ironic part is that this is the USS Amphib, and the training cards they were using were from the USS Carrier! How ironic. They wonder why I do not respect this ship. This place is a joke, but the main point is it was very hot and stuffy and they dragged out training for a long time.

73. I bought some pier pizza for $10 today. This was the first real meal I've had off of the ship in around 37 days. I sat my pizza box down to go to training, and I put a note on the pizza that said "Seray's Pizza." I did this to show ownership, and for no one to eat it inadvertently thinking there was no owner. I left at 1830, and returned at about 1930. There was more writing on my note that said "This is a test, a test of the Network. Whoever eats this pizza will have a hex put on their soul, and there is a booger on the big piece to the left." When I saw this, I was extremely infuriated.

74. I just found out that ET2 Campbell (who sexually harassed an Ensign and got busted down months before leaving the Navy) was the one who wrote the message. Now, this guy says it was a joke and that I cannot take a joke. My question is, when have I ever joked with you, you loser. I have never been on that level with you. You are not funny, you get offended too easily, so when have I ever been there with you. On top of that, you have cost me money for a new pizza. You cost me $10. I do not play with my food or my money. The latter was inadvertently affected by this poor attempt at humor.

75. It is absolutely too hot here in Bahrain. I have seen like 5 arguments today, and I have been involved in 2 of them. The first was with EN2 Carter (He literally ate a Cockroach off the Floor on a liberty boat in Thailand!). This is an overweight partially retarded sounding man. He called me out to my chief and my LPO about a fan room that needed maintenance, but ironically the maintenance fell upon him. Now he is blowing it off like he won't do it. I called him out and he got mad and we entered into a shouting match. It ended with him telling me to leave his shop. What could I say, he said, "Leave my shop, now!" what could I say, "No?" This reminded me of when I was a little boy, and I would be over someone's house playing and they would tell me to go home or something if they feel embarrassed or disrespected. Such an immature jerk. I cannot believe I lowered myself to his level and actually yelled. That is not the way Seray does things.

76. My second argument comes at the location of the Ops male lounge. I was going to iron my clothes, and we are not allowed to have our own irons. I wanted to shut the door so no one would see me. When I shut the door, OS2 Allen yells out, "Hey open that door!" I said give me a second to iron and I will. Well, we argued back and forth and I compromised again to the demands of another person on this ship. This is weird? Why am I giving in to such trivial demands? I guess it is a sign of being the bigger man and shrugging off the small stuff.

77. I want to take a little bit of time to address the boat couple. These are the most pathetic looking people I have seen in a long time. They sneak around like children trying to get away with something. Moreover, the male is always looking around to see if any guys are looking at his navy woman, gross. Well, one of the females from a couple was waiting outside of our berthing and man she is ugly. I just woke up, and was on my way to brush my teeth and Blam! There is an ugly, short, fat, mean woman staring at me with desperation waiting for her male companion to walk out the same door. This was a very rude awakening. Rude and ugly. I just find these couples to be pathetic and very unprofessional and high school like.

78. There is one couple I find the most disturbing, because it affects me the most. My LPO has a relationship with one of her subordinates, which is my coworker. This is what I mean about unprofessional. Every decision is based in his favor. They shadow each other everywhere. It is so pathetic. These are two grown ass people. Such an ugly couple, by the way.

79. A very characterizing statement was made by FC2 Dan Harris today. He said, "This is a place where simply shaving makes you look professional." I could not agree with him more. That is a shame this is true.

80. Everyone is talking about buying a home when we get back from deployment. Well, these are the same people who insist on getting out of the navy. This is such a joke. These people are stupid, and I wish I could tell them this without getting in trouble. If you buy a house, you lose the ability to move, and be flexible in your life after the navy. It is all about flexibility to be successful after one leaves. I have learned through the failures of my fellow coworkers. I have had to remain flexible and not obligate myself too much.

81. The navy really is the source of my unhappiness. I'm such a bitter person. There is no joy inside of me while I'm here. I cannot stop thinking about getting out. I looked at my LPO as she walked toward her fraternizing subordinate on the mess decks, and I pictured a nasty mamma spider with a giant egg sack dangling from her abdomen, just pure evil.

82. They handed out awards today. Well, I did not get one. Ironically, I'm in a better position than all who received the awards. ET2 Edwards has been in over twelve years. He and I are the same rank! ET3 Stone has been in one month less than me and I have been second class for almost half a year. I never received an award but I advanced faster than 80% of my fellow coworkers.

83. I could not sleep all night because I was up studying for my final in Philosophy. I have been stressing out so much over my plan to complete my prerequisite courses to transfer. The navy is the source of my stress! The question killing me is "how can I do it?"

84. Wow! I feel for you man. OS2 Garcia, you have been unjustly punished. You received the same punishment as international criminals. I wish there was something that I could do. This was an unfair judgment on the part of the Captain. He is trying to make a statement yet he is playing with people's lives and that is an abuse of power.

85. I learned a very valuable business lesson. I learned that even when the deal does not go through and the customer goes for an alternate choice, always be cordial and friendly towards that same customer because you never know when that same customer will be looking the service you offer again. The navy does not teach these concepts. You always feel like you are entitled to something because you are always mistreated

86. My schedule will not allow me to take classes in a traditional brick and mortar building, therefore, I will not be able to complete all the prerequisite courses for my college application. I will still find a way and prosper.

87. I must speak on the shameful sight of seeing ET3 Hall "cranking." This is a temporary additional duty assignment. It is basically like working at a fast food restaurant. Hall is an intelligent man who should be treated as such. When I saw him get ordered to get more cups I thought, "How embarrassing."

88. When I was in Guam I got into a bar fight. There were four of us vs. an entire team of locals. I hung with people I would not normally hang with. I was punched in the side of my face by a guy I was talking cordially with inside the bar. He was standing on the side of me the whole time as if betrayal was imminent. His punch was weak and he backed into the crowd of Guam's rejects like a coward. I began to back up and more and more people began to get in front of me. Then I saw a bottle leave the hands of one of my liberty buddies and I immediately turned around and began walking as I heard the bottle smash. I had no idea it smashed against someone's face! I'm embarrassed I was a part of this. This is exactly what I strive to steer clear from. I'm above this type of behavior but I was lowered by the people I chose to spend my free time with. Never again.

89. Well, Stone reenlisted and they got him for four more years. I will never reenlist.

90. Today is my son's 3rd birthday. Here I sit on deployment writing in this document. They just announced over the 1MC "wish the following shipmates a happy birthday..." How ironic.

91. I just saw our three month schedule after this deployment and I must say, "WOW!" It never fails! The navy interrupts my plans like a crying baby interrupts sleep in the night. The navy has prevented me from completing a plan that took weeks to improvise. The plan was based on the current idiotic schedule. I will still get my stuff done. I will find a way. I'll make plans to counter this schedule.

92. I'm not really that critical of the mechanical integrity of this ship, because I understand this is a war ship. It has been through months and months of constant beating. However, when I got undressed to take a shower and there was no water, I nearly lost it.

93. I just wanted to take some time to reflect upon the times I was granted liberty in port. The feeling of guilt always entered my mind and psyche. Although I have done nothing wrong, I felt like I was doing something wrong. You know that feeling when you think you left the stove on? That is another way I felt. It is ironic that this is my granted free time and I feel like I almost had to steal it. But the navy makes it like that. They want every minute of your life even if you are not doing anything. I hate that. I cannot wait to get out.

94. This deployment has two more days left. These will be the longest two days of my life. Just like last year and the year before that. This was the easiest deployment that I have been on. People here are so spoiled. The Carrier was ten times worse than this place. However, slowly but surely this place is catching up with the rest of the navy on how they operate. This is not good for sailors.

95. I feel proud when I say I passed on a $75,000 tax-free re-enlistment bonus. It was almost like my son was there with me to give me a smile indicating his approval. My son is more valuable than $75,000. As a matter of fact, my son is invaluable. I have missed almost two years of his three year life already.

96. Today I was eating my food from the "Mess Decks" and I discovered a large hair in my food. I immediately stopped eating the food. I was grossed out. Then, one of the cooks walked by me and said, "You better eat all of that food", jokingly. He was not the person who prepared my food, but I said, "Hey, there is a large hair in my food," he abruptly bursts out into laughter and walks back into the kitchen.

97. Well, today is the last day of another deployment. It is finally over. Unfortunately, I still have almost two years left of my obligation. I know today will be as unpleasant as the rest of the days have been. They will threaten with "securing liberty," and all the other mind games that they can play, which brings me to my next reason.

98. FC2 Harris is one of the better people I have met in the navy. He sort of "gets it." Well, the ship got to him. Last I heard, he was in medical with a suicide watch posted on him 24/7. I guess he said he is going to hurt himself, or other people. The people involved with his situation are the reason for his circumstances. They are trying to screw him right before we get back home.

99. Back to the good ol' garbage, the waiting around looking stupid as life off the ship continues around you. I have been at work for 31 hours. Guess what, I'm not underway. We are in port. I get under way tomorrow for four days, and then I have duty the day after we pull back in. So I will have accumulated around 151 hours at work, and I just got off of a deployment less than two weeks ago!

100. Well, my right eye has been twitching for about a week now because of my school situation. This is so stressful. I know I must accomplish a fairly difficult task in completing my school work on time. But, I must. I will sacrifice my time for fun, my time for sleep, and my time to relax to get out. It is not about not reenlisting. It is about getting out.

101. The motivation I once had to get out has now just become common thought. I do not need to repeatedly say "I want to get out and I need to remember." I almost want to stop writing this document, but I cannot, because when times get hard, which they will, I need to refer to this document and see what is here for me.

102. They are trying to make me go back to DCPO (damage control petty officer). I'm really tired of cleaning corrosion and dirt off of doors. I'm an ET, but I do not do the job I enlisted for. We are not technicians. We are janitors and movers.

103. I just took my midterm for statistics and I got a 70%. This is a horrible grade and I will not go anywhere worthwhile if I get grades like this on such an easy subject. I screwed up. I cannot get grades like this. The only way I will get good grades is if I put the time into it. The grades I get are proportional to the probability of me having to stay in the navy or getting out. The lower the grade, the more likely the obligation to stay in will dominate. The higher the grade, the better my chances are to get out. I need to make statistics my friend, junk food my enemy, and entertainment non-existent in my vocabulary.

104. The two strongest emotions known to man are my fuel to get out. Love and Hate, are these emotions. I hate being in the navy so much, and I love my family enough to get out the "right way." I stopped at a traffic light this morning, and dreaded the light turning green because that means I have to go to my job. I cannot change careers, because I'm stuck in a contract. I would gladly pay a fee or fine to get out without them intentionally putting a permanent blemish on my record.

105. Hey, what a surprise, I have duty on New Year's Day again. I have started the last two years of my life while at work.

106. I saw a guy I do not even know get stopped in the middle of work to be inspected and degraded by a higher ranking person. I immediately became enraged. I do not like seeing adults treated that way. I yelled a curse word at the top of my lungs, because seeing that made me so angry, and I do not even know the guy.

107. HAPPY NEW YEAR! On duty...again.

108. I was watching the swearing in of the first black president in the history of the United States of America. Abruptly, before the swearing in of Barack Obama, the TV goes blank and there was no video or sound. We are still in port. The ICs cut the connection to switch over to AFN (armed forces network) and they never programmed the news channel to pick up the live feed from Washington. Instead there was an old Celtics game playing while the swearing was commencing. When it finally came back, President Obama was giving his speech. I was extremely upset. I feel like history was stripped from me. I missed out on one of the greatest moments in the history of the United States. President Obama is now my boss.

109. How does the ability to shine one's shoes qualify one to lead people? It doesn't. ETC was late for his watch today, and he just recently scolded CSSN Flowers about being late for watch. He cursed at her, and threatened to send her to captain's mast. What a good leader. It made me sick to see such a physically imposing creeper verbally abuse a 5'1, 105 lbs. women.

110. I have an obsession with preparing to get out of the navy. It feels almost like desperation. I put 100% effort into preparing myself for life without the navy. I just officially told the navy I will not reenlist. I work too hard to get out to stay, if that makes any sense. I have sacrificed too much of my personal time, and money preparing to get out. I have lived below my means and I have invested time, energy and money.

111. I guess what they say about Friday the 13th is true. It really is bad luck. I was born on Friday the 13th, ironically. I have been exhausting every resource I can to get this Pre-Calculus class done. ENS Evans told me I cannot go to take my exam on Friday because we have a safety stand down. So, I found a solution by asking ENS Scott to proctor my exam for me. I had already set up this back up plan before she even denied me. I know in the navy you need many short term back up plans. I told her I had taken care of the situation and she got angry with me. She was angry that I found a solution to the obstacle she placed in front of me without her help. I took care of business (safety stand down), and I took care of what is more important to me, my education. As childish as it may sound, I won that battle.

112. I just recently submitted for orders. These orders are for 12 months unaccompanied in Bahrain. They do not extend past my EAOS. I will still get out when I'm supposed to. I have to leave this command 2 months before my PRD for this to happen. I submitted my chit requesting this, and chief Hoffman and ENS Evans were already shooting verbal holes in it. Saying things like "we don't know", and "we know what you want but it is not about you." Well, I just got off an 11 month TAD to ER09, so no! You do not need me! You would not send me TAD, and leave me down there because you need me. If I get these orders, I will be able to complete Calculus 2. I need this class to get accepted into a good program. What's next? I'm sure I will find out soon.

113. My LPO just told me that ETC does not support me transferring early. They sent me TAD for 11 months and they say that they need me here. This is just another example of wanting their cake and eating it too. Selfish people.

114. I went home today with a headache. I sat down in a chair, and fell asleep. I did not wake up until 5am. It was time to go back to work. I wasted an entire day! I did nothing yesterday to aid my separation preparation. This is unacceptable! This must never happen again. I'm so tired by the time I get off work.

115. It is a shame many people are losing their jobs and homes. Some people would really love being in the navy now. When it is time for me to go, I must not have any doubt this is the right decision for me and my family. I have been working very hard to prepare my family for the transition to civilian life. That life is sort of "put up or shut up." There will be less tolerance for petty garbage. I know the economy is bad. The safest thing to do is to stay in the navy, but I'm not alive here. I feel like a slave. They wield complete control over my every move, and I hate that. When I do get out, it is not over. I will not make the same mistake I made when I went to college the first time. I prepared so much to get out of my home town, and go to college on a football scholarship. When I made it, I stopped as if it was over, but little did I know I would need to work harder than ever before to succeed, but I failed. I will continue to work hard and not slack off, I will succeed, for myself, and my family.

116. 74 hour work weeks. When I have duty on Sunday, it is a 100 hour work week. These are trying times in my life. I must work as hard as possible and be as clever as possible to find a solution to this problem. There are only 168 hours in a week, and I spend between 45 and 60% of my time at work. If I wanted to sleep a full 8 hours every day of the week (56 hours) I would have 12 hours a week to myself, plus commute time being 1 hour daily (5 or 6 hours). So this will leave about 5 hours spread across 7 days.

117. These are some very depressing days. I just put in for leave for 2 days. The commercials say "guaranteed 30 days of vacation a year." Where is the disclaimer! They make food companies and other advertisements put disclaimers at the bottom of the screen or at the end of the commercial. Where is the disclaimer at the end of the navy commercials, or army commercials? They show this really cool looking job filled with excitement, and adventure. Yeah, you earn thirty days a year of leave, but it is up to whoever is in charge to give this vacation. They do it when it is convenient to the command, and not you. This should be a disclaimer when they try to boast about having thirty days of "paid" vacation. It should read as the disclaimer "employee command has all rights and ability to deny any such request at any time the command sees fit without legitimate reason." There are millions of catches to these military promises.

118. I'm trying to take two days of leave and my chief is saying that he does not want me to go because the shop is getting painted this month. What a crock. This guy has taken more leave than anyone in our shop since I have been here. He missed the last half of the deployment, and he is telling me I cannot take leave for two days. This is the crap that frustrates me. I will continue to find ways to prepare myself to get out and be successful as a civilian.

119. I saw a coworker, ET2 Campbell, being verbally abused by my chief. My division officer was sitting and listening. I feel sorry for her, because she is new, and is learning from a terrible person on how to manage people.

120. I see my son in my head as I work. I'm trying to cope with the fact I see him less and less as time goes on. The worst part is right now. I'm not halfway around the world. I'm right down the street and I cannot see him. There is no way I will allow my employer to work me for 100 hours a week, for any dollar amount, but that is what they are trying to do here and I hate it. Jacob I love you and I miss you when I'm at work.

121. I had to go to the gun range, and my chief told me to call and tell him when I got there like I was a little kid. You are not my father and I'm not your son. It's funny how they tell you to act maturely, yet they treat you like a kid and call it accountability. Accountability is a fancy word for "we do not trust you."

122. I cried this morning before I went to work. I started thinking about my sons beautiful face and I how I have been emotionally neglecting him for some time. I know I will not be able to give him the attention he needs for a very long time. I realize the sacrifice I make now will pay off huge in the future. If I stay in and live in the now, I will pay later over an extended amount of time. Jacob, daddy loves you and I'm doing this for you, mommy, and our family.

123. If you saw how this leadership worked here it would make you sick to your stomach. ETC is actively treating a fellow coworker extremely unfairly. No one can do anything about it because too many people have cried "wolf too many times."

124. I go to sleep at 1 am every morning and I have to wake up at 5 am. I do homework all the time I have off. The navy gives me little time off. I have to sacrifice sleep, and ultimately my health, to get anything done outside of work. But, I will not be defeated! If I go home at the end of the day I will win. I will not sleep! I will not eat! I will win and I will leave you!

125. Amazing! OSC you are a very dishonest person. The navy is about honor courage and commitment when it is convenient to the accusing.

126. Continued: Can you believe so much time and energy has been spent concerned about a pair of shoes. However, these very small and insignificant pair of shoes are the source of malicious action from ETC. He is using a pair of shoes to represent disobeying an order, which is an extremely sensitive subject in the military. OSC gave and order and I followed it. When OSC was confronted about the subject (in front of ETC) he said things like, "You should not have followed the order at that time, you were wrong for following that order, you took what I said as the gospel, etc.

127. The past few weeks have gone by so fast. Almost every night I shed a little tear for my family because we have somewhat grown apart since this January. We are always so busy. We do not have time for one another. The navy is making me work 98 hours this week. I have duty Saturday and Sunday, and I work 10+ hrs. Mon-Fri, do the math!

128. I'm currently on the last leg of a grueling academic schedule. I have finished nine college classes in a four-month time frame. In those nine, there are classes like statistics and Pre-Calculus. All of which are from accredited colleges.

129. It is funny to see officers and chiefs calling out things that are wrong. The ironic part is, they do not have to fix them. It would be easy for me to identify everything wrong with where I am. One of the reasons they are so quick to identify things is because they will not have to correct them. This is similar to speaking the world's problems and doing nothing to correct it.

130. CTT1 Phillips was supposed to get out of the navy in August so he put in for terminal leave. They denied his leave because they said he was the only qualified CTT on the combat system training team (CSTT). Let me be the first to say, CTT1 will not be missed on the CSTT. However, his security manager skills will, but that is not why they are trying to keep him. Misery does love company and this ship is making a number of people miserable.

131. I was doing a spot check today. A spot check is when you do maintenance that you did before all over again to show someone you did it (pretty efficient right?). I had to do the check with Command Master Chief Collins. I think he is an okay guy for the most part, however, throughout the entire check, he kept trying to convince me to stay in. I wanted nothing more than to tell him, "Save your breath. I have zero intentions of staying in the navy one day longer than what I have to." If I did this, he would most likely fail me on the spot-check, and I will get in trouble. He was persistent, trying to shoot holes in all of my plans. I will not fail master chief. You said you failed at civilian life, well that is you. Don't give me that sorry "stay in" routine, because the commanding officer is breathing down your neck because everyone is getting out. You don't care about me, or my family. You tried to include my family in the conversation to add greater impact to your argument. This was a very transparent tactic and has no effect, sorry.

132. MAC Perez is dead. She committed suicide. She was on the same ship as me. The CO Commander Perelli gave a speech today about her passing. The message was "move on, go back to work" Mac would have wanted it that way. I say no, she would not have wanted it that way. She had a problem. Moving on and forgetting we are humans with problems in our lives only leaves the door open for another incident to happen. Yes, let's stop. Yes, cease work. Yes, Yes, Yes. No, do not move on the very first day you here of someone's death!

133. I have one more week onboard this awful ship. It is out of my hands that I make it. It will come down to the very last minute. No one wants to see me leave because they themselves wish to leave. I have one week. Will I make it?

134. Oh man, it is finally over. The disturbing tour on the USS Amphib has finally come to an end. Till the bitter end. I was waiting for my service record from PS1. He always blows me off, so he told me to wait for a moment. In my five minutes of waiting, ETC saw me and asked, "Who is standing in for berthing cleaners for Davis?" I paused with my mouth hung open because I knew he was about to ask me the unthinkable, he tells me, not asks me, "Go clean berthing." The words I wanted to say to him would have surely landed me on restriction. So this obviously postponed me leaving. I cleaned berthing knowing in the back of my mind this was it, the last thing I will ever do on this ship.

135. Well, this is it. This is my last full day in San Diego for a very long time. I leave for Bahrain tomorrow morning. This is one giant step in my life. It should be easy work wise. However, this is going to be a time of extreme self-discipline. I must keep my time occupied with obligations, deadlines, and not leisure. I will surely fail if I think this is going to be a leisurely time. The navy will find a way to make it hard for me, and cause me to overcome a challenge that is unnecessary, for sure.

136. Watch, when I get to Bahrain, there will be people talking about how good it used to be and try to justify why it sucks so bad now. There will be programs in its infancy that are so extreme and borderline ridiculous. I must act as if I'm there to follow orders and not think for myself and put their needs first.

137. BAH. They are making me jump through hoops to verify my housing. My wife and kid are living back in San Diego and they are threatening to cut off my BAH because they do not like the lease I provided them. What this means is, we will not be able to pay the rent. I said, "You can call the district manager, and he will confirm the lease I provided", they said, "No, it is the service members responsibility."

138. I thought I would be able to do my Calculus 2 class with ease, but this place has put an unnecessary amount of stress on me. The airline lost my baggage for three days and they are threatening to cut my BAH. These are some serious stressors that are screwing me up. Everything is so difficult here.

139. Am I walking around with no pants on? That seems to be how people are looking at me. They all look at me as if I'm doing something wrong. I want to stop some times and ask, what are you looking at? I feel really uncomfortable walking around on base. Man oh man, my time here is very short.

140. I don't know if they can see the disinterest in my eyes. I'm not interested in anything they do. Even if it sounds cool, I know there are some catches and strings attached. All this stuff is so unpleasant. I just have to put on a fake "motivated" attitude and wait out my time.

141. I had my check-in sit down with my LPO today. He started going into how he is going to push me to make me better so I can get to where he is. Yeah, right! He has been in for 16 years, and he is still an E-6! I do not consider that successful. I want to ask him why he stayed in. I bet he stayed for the reasons I stated two years ago in my experimental survey, I will ask him and record the results.

Flashback- I remember when I was on deployment on the Carrier, and I was walking down the ladder well, and I saw the CO, Capt. Taylor, and I almost broke my neck trying to get out of his way to show respect for his rank, as common practice. I said hello sir, he said "you need to get a haircut." My hair was in standards. My hair grows out in a puff and looks similar to that of an afro. My hair was shorter than his. Way to be observant. When I get out, my hair is going to grow as long as I can grow it!

142. "Captain Obvious" is the CO where I work. Maybe these people think I'm stupid, or they really feel the information they add on top of the even more obvious is less obvious, if that makes sense.

143. ET1 Baker has sort of a greedy self-interested demeanor. He is divorced and he is in his late thirties. He has a "give me mine" personality. Everything he does benefits him while causing inconveniences for others.

144. ET2 Green looks like a smaller, older version of Anderson. I do not have his number yet because he has not been around too much but I will get back on this one.

145. IT2 Jackson is a bit lazy. He is one of the captain obvious people. He is not too bad personally, but he is a lifer and that automatically raises questions for me.

146. SK2 Turner is absolutely retarded. He can afford to be as dumb as he wants to be here. He is a part of the "mafia." The Filipino mafia runs all of navy supply, both civilian and military supply.

147. SCPO Wright is working with his interest and his interest alone in mind. He wants to stay in the navy longer than 25 years. he has already been in. To do this, he has to make master chief. It is hard to understand him because his accent is very thick. I have no respect for him because I know his motive. I do not respect him, and he can see it in my face. I look through his eyes when we speak.

148. The amount of crap I do in a day is amazing. I know a lot of people complain about being overworked and underpaid. I have the pleasure of seeing and experiencing the disparity of this phenomenon. We have civilian contractors who work in my location. These guys are literally at their desks 75% of the time talking about sports, and food. Yes, they do their job, however, their job is done few and far between. The bad thing is, the "lead" tech makes $369,000 a year. Mind you, I receive about $60,000 annually before tax. This number includes all of the additional pay for being in harm's way, and deploying to dangerous locations. Congress says military pay is comparable to the private sector? Yeah right!

149. Senseless rules only remain due to someone's desire to keep them. I love it! I was walking around the office trying to get to the bottom of an order that was made worth $38,000 in laptops. Well, I'm in the zone working, and I had one hand in my pocket. Then, some chief, who I have never spoken with in my life, stops me and says, "Petty officer Seray, take your hand out of your pocket." WOW, you are one of the reasons I do not want to stay in this organization. How in the world does having one hand in my pocket in an office affect anything? It does not!

150. Individualism is not welcomed in the enlisted ranks. This is one of the main causes of post military failure, in my opinion. Veterans get into the group think mentality, and all of a sudden they are forced to make their own decisions. Obviously, if they have not made their own decisions in years, what makes you think they will be able to make their own decisions when they have to? I have started to actively seek out ways to become an individual.

151. My division had a dinner party. Here is the scenario. Dinner, all you can eat, all you can drink, at 7:00 pm. Now here is why I did not go, costs 50 dollars...

152. Today I was asked by a chief, "Why do you want to get out of the navy?" I immediately began laughing. I laughed for approximately 15 seconds straight. I laughed because I did not know where to start! I have over 100 reasons as of today. I could not give one reason. So I laughed, and said I just want to do different things.

153. The biggest losers today, become the biggest losers with power tomorrow. This is in reference to my senior chief who has got to be one of the dumbest higher ranking people I have come across. His inability to lead is evident at every step of the way.

154. Another major problem I see here is the human trafficking. Navy males pay for trafficked humans. In effect, navy sailors are supporting modern day slavery. Most of these men would normally be shunned by the majority of the women in the United States. But here in Bahrain, they have a false sense of privilege. This is fueled by their exploitation of sex slaved women. I will do something about this, and I will promote women's rights. The navy has turned a blind eye on their sailors, and how they support prostitution. I have seen this with my own eyes. I just regret not having the courage to stop it while it occurred right in front of me.

155. I have not had much free time since my family came to visit. Yesterday, a coworker of mine re-enlisted. Every time someone re-enlists, some chief or officer catches the retention bug. So when I was speaking with my division officer, he said, "Hey, are you still thinking about getting out?" Ironically, he used the word "thinking".

156. Today I was laughed at for wanting to be an advocate for women's rights. The guy who laughed at me is a fat, balding, pale-skin man. He is retiring as an E-6. He just said he was going to take a vacation to Thailand. The only reason he wants to go to Thailand is to exploit the young women, or possibly young men who sell their bodies. He said he knows someone there. Yeah right! You are a nasty ol' bastard

157. I have been in Oman for the past three weeks. I'm down here with a fat chain-smoking bastard who does not care about anyone else except himself. It really sucks, because he tries to make all of the decisions very quickly. It is up to me to think quickly and respond in objection. Every decision made serves his interests in some way. It is ET1 Green.

158. Green tried to sell me the naval reserves, about how they never get deployed unless they volunteer. Then a couple of days later he told me how everyone was getting deployed to Afghanistan, and that is why he chose to come to Bahrain. He thinks Bahrain is "his island." Just like every fat, selfish, American military member. The American military lives in a fairy tale land full of servants who will do anything for money in Bahrain. Then they have nerve enough to say, "When I went back to America, everyone was so rude." Yeah you fat bastard, because you are equal to them in societal status, and they are not looking for scrap change in your pocket so they treat you the way you portray yourself, like a fat selfish bastard.

159. Well, I looked up the word frugal today, and saw that "paltry" was another word for frugal in the thesaurus. I clicked on it and its sentence example was this: "naval glory struck him as paltry worthless, petty, trivial, unimportant, insignificant, and inconsequential, of little account." Ironically, this is how I felt just yesterday when the fat bastard mentioned the "Navy achievement Medal."

160. Yesterday we were driving to Khasab and we saw some very beautiful landscapes. The mountains and beaches really combined to make a very beautiful scene. I thought to myself, what good is all of this beauty I'm seeing if there is no one I love here to share the sight with. If there is no one there to see it with me, what is the point? This is eluding to the fact I have been around the world, and seen many beautiful places all the while my family sat at home unable to see these things. I would trade in all of those forced beautiful sights, for one family vacation.

161. I might be named command sailor of the quarter next week. I could care less. I do the things I do for my family. I do the volunteer work because I want to help kids, not for an evaluation bullet! I constantly try to improve myself, because that is not a skill you can turn on and off. I must keep it going, because if I just stop, sit, and talk about how much I hate being in the navy, I will be wasting my time and my skills will diminish.

162. The fat, yellow-tooth, stinky, selfish, greedy, lying, cigarette every 5 minutes ET1 Green tried to set us up for failure in Oman. He convinced a high ranking person to allow us to drive 550km from Oman across the border to U.A.E into a place that is 50km from Iran.... with no escort, no protection, no country clearance... just me and his fat ass in an SUV. I was against the trip the whole time, because it was ill-advised, and not very well planned out. I had mentioned I think there was a travel restriction for US service members in UAE, and he said he talked to the higher ranking person so there was no problem and blah, blah, but I knew for a fact that Dubai was off limits. Well, right before we left, this fat ass says, "On the way back we are going to come through Dubai so we can see the world's tallest building." I told him "No we are not, that is not why we are here." he says, "Come on man!" I got pissed and told him "NO! I do not even want to do this trip, because it is not planned well at all. We are not going to freaking Dubai!" Well, on our way back, UAE held us at the border and told us that they had to call their capitol to let us through, because we are supposed to have clearance before coming into their country... The fat bastard lied! I knew there was something wrong. They finally let us through with a call to the embassy! If we did it the right way, it would have taken longer to get clearance from the embassy. The fat bastard wanted it now so he lied and said there was no problem! We could hear the Iranians coming across the radio harassing the ships in the area because they were very close to us. When US military goes near Iran, they have destroyers, helicopters, planes, and guns on the ready. It is no joke and nothing to play around with. Here we are, two dumbasses driving an SUV in an off limit country, 50km away from a country that hates the US more than any country on earth (arguably). What it all boils down to is, fat bastard wants an award. The higher ranking person wants an award. So, they are doing stupid and reckless shit to get it!

163. I just found out I made Departmental Sailor of the quarter. I have to stand a board (interview) for NAVCENT command sailor of the quarter. I can care less if I receive the honor. I would like the 72 hour special liberty chit I get if I win, however.

164. I lost the command sailor of the quarter, because I was caught giving the questions I was asked to the other competitors who were waiting outside during my interview. I could care less who won and I think those that were in competition had more to gain from winning than I did.

165. I wanted to go to Mexico to see my wife's extended family. State department made Tamaulipas, Mexico off limits because of the violence there. Now, military service members are not allowed to travel there.

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