

### It's a Wonderful World: Volume 1

### David Bruce: Collector and Editor

Copyright 2020 by Bruce D. Bruce

Dedicated to Rei-doll

Front Cover Photograph

Model: Rei-doll

reidoll_cosplay (Instagram}

<https://www.instagram.com/reidoll_cosplay/>

RandR-ArtGroup (Deviant Art)

<https://www.deviantart.com/randr-artgroup/gallery/>

Deviant Art Gallery

<https://www.deviantart.com/randr-artgroup/gallery/>

R&R Art Group Shore Selling Posters, Cosplay Cards, and Calendars

https://rrartgroup.bigcartel.com

R&R Art Group: "Double Trouble" Pokemon Cosplay

Rei-doll cosplays James.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJl6d3ejdkE>

RRartgroup: YouTube

<https://www.youtube.com/user/RRartgroup>

R&R Art Group: Other Links

https://www.facebook.com/RRartgroup Facebook page https://www.patreon.com/RRartgroup cosplay, wig tutorials

NOTES

The English in this book is a combination of American English and British English.

I recommend that readers go to YouTube and watch old movies of Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, and other comedy stars of the silent era. The movies weren't really silent, for they were accompanied by music and sound effects played in the movie theaters and often available on film.
Chapter 1: Questions 1-20

1. "Parents of Reddit, What's Your Best Example of Using Reverse Psychology on Your Kids that Actually Worked?"

1) Laik72 wrote this:

"My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

"When the kids asked, she would be reluctant to share: 'That's grown-up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little.'

"Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

"I sat at the dinner table for three hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat."

2) bibbobbins wrote this:

"'I bet you can't...'

"Both of them HATE the assertion that they're not capable of doing something.

"'Can you put your toys away?' will almost certainly garner a hard NO, but 'I bet you can't put all those toys back in the box, no way you'll be able to' will have them whizzing round tidying like demons, followed by a very indignant 'See, I told you I could!'. Cue fake surprise from me.

"They're only four and seven, so I know this has got limited time, but so far works it like a charm every time."

3) AppealToReason16 wrote this:

"I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realise it until my dad told me this.

"When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed that if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

"Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or babysitting all the time and it almost never fails."

ThoseAreBlueToo commented, "I read something similar on a Reddit thread — don't ask if the kids want to do something, give them a choice between two things. When it's bedtime and my toddler is extra cranky, I ask her, 'Would you like to pack away your toys or go to bed?' She always picks bed. I think for younger kids it makes them feel involved and validated in the decision-making process."

2. "What's the Worst Thing You've Eaten Out of Politeness?"

1) kpw1179 wrote, "Gramma used to make amazing chocolate chip cookies. One time she forgot an important ingredient like sugar. They weren't good, but we knew as soon as they were gone she'd make another batch so we powered through. The cousins came together as a team that day. The next batch was amazing as always. Miss you, gramma Ruth."

2) sweetpoison02 wrote, "Tuna mayo on top of halved peaches. I was in Belgium visiting my friend for the New Year. Her husband's grandmother had made this dish, which is apparently a traditional one there, and no one was touching them; she was clearly upset as it was hard for her to make with her bad arm so I ended up eating six, which made her happy ... she now thinks I like it and makes it for me every time I visit ... oh, well."

3) Ksnake666 wrote this:

"On my first trip to Europe, I met up with a girl I met on the Internet to travel around for six weeks.

"One of our stops was a mutual friend in Paris, France, and each morning mutual friend's mom would make breakfast.

"In true Parisian way, croissants and cheese were put out. "Well, I don't like cheese all that much, but the girl I was with couldn't stand it.

"Well, she took a few pieces, as did I, without knowing what we took. Apparently, the cheese went from mild to very strong, but neither of us knew this.

"We both took one bite and realized we couldn't eat this. In fact, she looked at me and said, 'You have to finish mine. I can't do it.' The look in her face was one of Truth, and she came from a society where politeness was observed.

Sooo ... I ate all of our stinky cheese. It was awful. I don't know how I managed.

"The mom comes back in, looks at what cheese was gone and makes a kind of surprised look. We head out for the day, with me feeling like a hero.

"The next morning comes and there twice as much strong cheese because of what we had grabbed the day before.

"The girl I was with, without missing a beat, took more of the strong cheese with Mom in sight, smiles all around ... Except me. I was frowning. So much frowning.

"Mom leaves, and I end up eating a second round of gag-inducing stinky cheese.

"This went on for a week! Same routine every morning.

"Near the end of our stay, our mutual friend causally drops that his mom is really impressed that we, the girl and myself, liked to eat so much of that cheese, as most can't eat it, and if they do, they usually take very little.

"Doh!"

3. "What is the Smoothest Way a Guy has Successfully Asked for Your Number?"

1) anneretka wrote, "My now boyfriend: 'If you give me your number, I'll send you videos of my dog.'"

2) kinkjycurlygirl wrote this:

"I asked a guy to take a picture of me and my friends at a bar in Nashville on a girls weekend trip. I went to hand him my phone and instead he insisted that his camera was superior and he wanted it to be perfect for us (it's true; I have an old phone and he has a super new one). He took about 20 pictures at many different angles, being all silly and pretending to be a professional photographer, even standing on a chair in the middle of the bar screaming, 'YAS, GIRLS! OH, THAT ONE'S GOOD! OH, THIS IS THE ONE!' Everyone in the bar was cracking up. He then asked me to send the ones I liked to myself and delete them if it made me feel more comfortable. I thanked him, his group of friends and mine chatted for a while and then my friends and I headed to another bar. A few minutes later I got a text from him, saying, 'It was nice meeting you and just so you know, I think you're the whole package. If you want to link up later, you know how to reach me' and left it at that. My friends were cracking up, saying, 'Damn, that guy is smooth.' Haha!"

3) phicks16 wrote, "I was closing up the store I was working at and vacuuming the carpet, and he came up and asked if I was modeling the vacuum. He went on to admit he was being lame, but very sincerely told me I was beautiful and he doesn't normally approach women but wanted my number if I was interested. Not creepy at all, just super nice for a change. The smooth part was how genuine he was instead of skeevy."

**4. "What is Your Most Memorable Story of Petty** **Revenge?"**

1) Sharcbait wrote, "I lived in an apartment with a roommate. We had neighbors who would throw crazy parties pretty frequently often during the week. One day my roommate who had to be awake early had enough and decided to p[*]ss on a metal pizza pan and stick it in the freezer. After a crazy party he pulled the pan out, and flipped it upside down giving him a frozen disc of p[*]ss, he then slid that disc under their door where it would melt on their fully carpeted entryway. Woke up to them shouting at the people who crashed there about who p[*]ssed on the floor what the f**k was wrong with them. Wish I could say they toned down their parties, but they didn't and eventually got evicted."

2) cuddlenazif[**]kmonstr wrote this:

"I have a friend whose pumpkin/fall display at the end of his driveway would be run over by the neighborhood jerk. This happened every year. My friend decided to put a stop to it.

"He withdrew money from his savings account so he would have enough to buy the largest pumpkin he could find, along with several large bags of Quikcrete. He filled that puppy up and made a real pretty display.

"The jackass broke the axle of his sh[*]tty car when he hit that pumpkin. He could not drive away. My friend had his car towed away, too."

3) beautifulexistence wrote this:

"My college roommate had a bad habit of leaving her things in piles on our bathroom floor until there was almost no space to walk to the bath or toilet. Not just clothes but change, jewelry, decks of playing cards, knitting needles, books, hairpins, scarves, earbud headphones, keys, etc. One day she left $40 scattered with the mess, so I put the money in one of her lesser-used bathroom drawers. Originally I put it there to protect it from our third roommate and her friends. When I came home the next day and noticed that she was clearing her mess in an effort to find it, I decided not to tell her where the money was until our bathroom floor was spotless.

"Afterwards, I decided it would be too awkward to tell her the truth so I left the money wadded up in her hamper as I'd found it on the floor. She was ecstatic when she found it on laundry day. After that her bathroom piles never got quite as big."

4) Thejustinset wrote this:

"I used to manage a Starbucks when one of my baristas asked a guy his name and he just flipped the f[**]k out and belittle' her, called her stupid, etc., and didn't give a name. Anyway I take over the hand off drinks and place his drink just on the hand off with no words. (I'll add it was a busy store with a lot of people waiting.)

"I just keep putting drinks out for about 10/15 minutes and douchebag walks up and picks up his drink that's now lukewarm and goes, 'Is this mine?' I just respond with 'I don't know. It doesn't have a name on it.'"

5. "Police of Reddit, What Dumb Call Turned Serious Very Quickly?"

iDoentNo wrote this:

"Obligatory not cop but friend of a guy whose dad is a cop.

"It was actually the reverse. It started seriously but ended hilariously.

"He went to go bust some drug ring. Who knows what he was going to find. Instead, he found a homeless dude with a syringe. He said, "You shouldn't inject yourself with syringes off the ground. You could get a disease." To which the homeless dude responded, 'You see, to me, diseases are like Pokemon: gotta catch 'em all.'"

6. "What's Your Embarrassing Childhood Story that Your Family Always Brings Up?"

1) amousebouche wrote, "On my seventh birthday, I hugged my dad's leg and said, 'I love you, daddy,' and then I turned around and there were my mom and dad looking at me, trying not to laugh. I looked up and saw a strange man and jumped back and ran away. It's not my fault they were both wearing green khakis!"

2) MaxJets69 wrote, "Apparently on a family vacation I went from 'only eating Burger King and throwing a fit when they tried to eat at McDonalds' on the drive down to 'only eating McDonalds and throwing a fit when they tried to eat at Burger King' on the drive back home and I swear you would think I committed the gravest of offenses rather than just being an annoying little kid with fickle fast food preferences. My family talks about it A LOT."

3) promprostitute wrote, "It was Christmas time and I wanted to give everyone presents, but being six years old I didn't have any money. So, to be involved I searched and printed pictures of different dog breeds I thought each of my siblings and parents would like the best. I couldn't think of a good one for my brother so I gave him a Butterfinger instead. Sadly, I had little self control at that age so I ate half of it and then wrapped it up as a Christmas present :). My family still gets a good laugh out of around the holidays."

4) carolinemathildes wrote, "My dad always talks about the time I went to the corner store by myself when I was a kid and came back and said that the person working had a really weird name — her name tag said 'Trainee'."

5) AliGator13230 wrote, "When I was five, I didn't want my sister to turn off the lights so I said, 'If you turn off the lights I'll stick this jingle bell in my nose!' Needless to say, my sister turned off the lights and we gave the Emergency Room something to talk about."

6) mosselyn wrote this:

"One is only sort of mine:

"For my first birthday party, our neighbors' 13-year-old daughter made me a cake with cooked frosting. When the cake was presented to one-year-old me in my highchair, I promptly shoved it off. It hit the floor upside down ... and bounced. She'd cooked the frosting too long and it solidified. That poor woman was still hearing that story decades later whenever our families got together.

"I must fully own this one:

"When I was in high school, a cousin had her wedding reception at home. While carrying a big tray of lasagna downstairs to the party in the basement, I tripped and sent it flying into the wall at the bottom of stairs. Lasagna-y goodness went everywhere, including onto my cousin's wedding dress. God bless her, she was a good sport about it."

7. "What is the Best Way to let Your Guests Know They have Overstayed Their Welcome?"

toastie2313 wrote, "My family had friends (a couple) who would show up, unannounced, just before mealtime, and expect to be fed. They would never reciprocate. One evening my grandpa set his plate on the floor and let the dog lick it clean. He picked it up, looked it over, and put the plate in the cupboard. They never showed up for a meal again."

8. "What is the Funniest Lie to Tell Kids?"

1) Kren_Dae wrote, "When I was 20, my baby sister was four years old. One day there was a heavy storm, with very loud lightning. Sister was terrified but eventually fell asleep. While she was napping, I had to run out into the rain for a bit and was absolutely soaked. Maybe 10 minutes later, it stopped raining and my sister woke up and saw me and asked why I was so wet. I said, 'Well, since you were so scared, I went and fought the storm. I won,' and pointed outside. She ran to look, saw it was clearing up and the utter awe in her face when she looked back at me ... I was her hero for a day."

2) Playswithf1re wrote, "When my daughter was four years old, she decided she really wanted a horse. I told her that since horses eat money, and I don't earn all that much, we simply couldn't get one. She believed that horses actually ate money until she was 14."

3) NeroJoe wrote, "That, as their father, I could change their names whenever I wanted to. One time I pretended to get on the phone with the 'National Name Registry department' and renamed my two kids Snargle and Gorf because they kept misbehaving. They were bawling. I could barely keep a straight face."

4) OKImHere wrote, "My dad made the traffic lights turn green. I asked why he waited a few minutes before using his power, and he said it's important to let others have a turn and go ahead of you."

**9. "Parents of Reddit, What is the Funniest Thing Your Child has Ever Gotten in Trouble for that You had to Pretend to be Angry About and Scold Them?** **"**

1) rngr wrote, "My daughter had just learned how to spread food with a knife. I found her in the kitchen with a pineapple that had an entire sick of butter spread over it, and on the floor was the cat with a stripe of butter from head to tail. She just looked at me, and proudly said, 'I did it!'"

BongSewer commented, "She Pepe Le Pewed your cat?"

2) Diet-CokeFiend wrote, "One day when my oldest son was four, he kept coming downstairs to refill his glass of water. By the 4th refill I knew he was up to something, so I went upstairs and discovered him standing next to his one-year-old brother's crib, where my one-year-old was standing up holding onto the rail, soaking wet and dripping from head to toe. I said. 'What is going on here?' And my four-year-old casually shrugged and said, 'I guess he peed himself.'"

10. "What have Been Some of Your Best April Fools' Day Pranks?"

RamsesThePigeon wrote this:

"As much as I'd love to take credit for being the prankster in my family, that honor belongs entirely to my father. He has a reputation for enacting fiendishly clever capers, like the time that he whittled a block of cheese into the shape of a bar of soap (complete with the Dial logo) and left it in the shower for my stepmother to encounter. I know _I'll_ never forget the time that he started covering the entrance to my room with newspaper, and then — after I'd gotten into the habit of bursting through it head-first — nailed a sheet of plywood up behind it.

"Still, my father's best-ever prank (at least by his own description) occurred during his college days, when he lived in a dormitory reserved for engineering students. There was one tenant who didn't quite fit in with everyone else, as evidenced by the way that he would come home drunk every night, stagger through the halls, and scream profanities at anyone unlucky enough to encounter him. He was also, it was discovered, the only non-engineering student in residence, and nobody was entirely sure how he had come to be housed in the building. One way or another, he was a nuisance.

"So, on April Fools' Day, my father and his friends decided to teach that guy a lesson.

"With the cooperation of the entire floor, they strung a series of speakers together in sequence, so that adjusting the L/R balance on a stereo unit would make the sound move up and down the length of the building. Then, they removed all of the lights in the hallway, leaving only the sinister red glow of the exit sign as illumination. Finally, they acquired a novelty record, which they queued to play a very special sound effect.

"When the drunkard returned home that evening, he was greeted by a long, dark hallway and an ominous, eerie silence. According to my father, the guy mumbled to himself in confusion for a moment before beginning to stumble in the direction of his room. Then, from the distance, there came a barely audible sound. As it increased in volume, it became recognizable as a train, blowing its whistle as if in warning of some dire calamity. The inebriate faltered in his course, wondering aloud (and with obvious concern) what exactly was going on.

"The sound of the train grew further in volume, to almost deafening levels. The drunk — now visibly panicking — began to shout for help. Finally, just as it sounded like the train was bearing down ... my father's friend came running around the corner with a flashlight taped to his head.

"Legend has it that the drunkard awoke in the hallway the next morning, unaware of why he had soiled himself, but intensely suspicious of the toy locomotive that was clutched in his hand.

**" TL;DR: Choo choo, motherf**ker."**

11. People with Kids: What's the Most Embarrassing Thing Your Kid has Ever Said/Done in Public?

1) [Deleted] wrote, "I was at a Barnes and Noble with my son (he was five at the time) looking for a new book. My son has always been a talkative child and always said hello to people. While I am looking for a new book, I hear my son say hello to a man in a wheelchair. The man did not acknowledge my son and so my son repeated his greeting. The man remained silent. My son says hello and once again is ignored. My son sighs and tells me, 'Well, I guess his ears don't work either'. The man turned and glared at me, and I quickly took my son's hand and left."

2) jibbletmonger wrote, "On our way to watch my daughter play soccer, my son was asking me about how babies were made. So I told him all about the sperm and the egg and so on. He seemed to reflect deeply about what I had said. Get to soccer and we sit among all the other parents and he blurts out, 'Dad, is your sperm still inside me?' I almost f**king died."

3) neonbitch18 wrote, "My daughter, four years old at the time, was riding her balance bike down a hill and was unable to stop at the bottom. She ran into a small wall and began to scream, 'OW, MY NUTSACK, I HIT MY NUTSACK'. She had heard it from her older brother. This was during a local kite festival so there were plenty of parents and children around to give us the stink eye. I laughed my [*]ss off, but my wife was not as happy."

4) Rapugzel wrote, "I was the kid. (Sorry.) My mom is obese, and she always used to sigh, 'I'm the fattest woman in the world,' when she looked in the mirror. Being about four, I took this literally. One day we were in K-Mart, and I saw this REALLY huge woman in a mumu. I freaked out, pointing and yelling, 'LOOK, MOMMY! YOU'RE NOT THE FATTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD! SHE IS!'"

5) Virgowitch wrote, "My buddy was pushing her two-and-a-half-year-old twins through the mall and passed a very large woman. One of them piped up with, 'Uh, oh! Too many noodles!'"

12. "Parents of Reddit, What is the Most Embarrassing Thing Your Toddler Said Out Loud in Public?"

1) gingrb0mb2 wrote this:

"At the grocery store, my daughter, who was two at the time, and I were about to pass an African-American lady in an aisle. At this point, she had never seen anyone with a darker skin color. She's about two feet from us. So, she sees her, turns to me and yells (while pointing), 'Look, Mom! It's a chocolate lady!' I froze for a sec, said, 'Yes, honey, isn't she beautiful?' She yells, 'Yes,' and I practically ran away down the aisle. That poor lady was such a good sport.

"Edit: BONUS. We met a man with a hook for a hand and she sprinted up to him to ask him if he was Captain Hook. Facepalm.

"Luckily, he said yes and pretended to run after her."

2) wickedcreative wrote this:

"My two-year-old and I were waiting in line at Nordstrom. She was being so quiet and so patient, so I decided to reward her by purchasing a Melissa and Doug stamp set. As soon as we got to the checkout, she randomly announced to the girl who was checking us out, 'Mommy has a penis.' I just stood there for a moment, expressionless, wondering where in the f[**]k that came from before I finally said, 'Yeah ... I don't.' The lady just stared at me, forced a smile, and replied, 'Have a nice day.'

"We've also been talking a lot about my pregnancy and wondering whether the baby is a boy or girl. Somehow that must have raised some questions in my daughter's head because she announced to daycare that 'daddy decided he wants to be a girl so he is going to become a girl.' Daycare never mentioned it until our daughter told us this at dinner one night and we about died. Asked the teacher if she had, in fact, stated that, her teacher said, 'Yes, she did. It seemed sensitive so obviously we didn't want to mention it.' (My husband is NOT transitioning.)

"Ahh, kids. Love them."

3) irishamerican wrote, "When my son was four, and watched _Space Jam_ , he thought every black man was Michael Jordan. When we would go somewhere, he would point at every black man he saw and yell, 'Michael Jordan!'"

4) dcbluestar wrote, "When my cousin was about two, she still occasionally took baths with her mom, my aunt. One night we're at their house for dinner, out of nowhere, she blurts out at my uncle, 'Daddy, you got hair on your peepee, too?' And that was the first and only time in my life I nearly required the Heimlich maneuver."

5) shovel_bummer wrote this:

"Disclaimer: this was not my toddler, but a toddler said this to me while I was waiting in the grocery line: 'I have a vagina and new party shoes!'

"Really, what else do you need?"

sendgoodmemes commented, "One of the funniest things was when my sister's son was learning the words 'vagina' and 'penis.' He would spend a few minutes a day just saying 'aunt k no penis, uncle j penis.' Family events were fun: He would point to someone and say, 'Has penis?' And if it was a woman he would shake his head give a look like 'that's rough, buddy' and say, 'no penis.'"

6) midnight12 wrote, "Currently potty training, my toddler loves to run out of the restaurant bathroom, screaming,'Mommy, I poopied!'"

13. "What is the Hardest You've Ever Laughed in Your Life, and What Happened?"

1) JlbOr7 wrote this:

"I was washing my daughter's legs in the bathtub. She then asked me, 'Mama, why are you washing my penis?'

"I completely lost it before I was able to respond that she doesn't have a penis."

2) Sully1102 wrote this:

"I was at a wedding rehearsal, sitting in the pews. My friend moved and the vinyl seat covering squeaked and sounded like a fart.

"Not sure why, but the two of us lost it laughing. The type of laughing where you just can't stop. Meanwhile, the bride is getting p[*]ssed at us as we're fighting tears from the laughter, and she just yells, 'Farts aren't funny!', which was liking throwing gasoline on our laugh fire.

"We ended up going to the church lobby to finish our laughter, and that went fine until we looked each other in the eyes as we were composing ourselves and I said: "'Remember: farts aren't funny.'

"And it all started again."

14. " **Women of Reddit, What is the Silliest Thing You've Gotten Emotional About While Pregnant?"**

1) swiftbutt wrote, "When I was newly pregnant, I held my dog and sobbed because I felt bad knowing she'd possibly get less attention once the baby came."

2) Eff_you_octopus wrote this:

"I ran over a snake in the road. I ugly cried for two the next hours thinking about his snake family waiting for him to come home and him never showing up. Those poor snake babies. My husband was just like, 'What?' Which made the snot bubbles intensify.

"The kicker: I hate snakes. And they don't even live in families!"

3) [deleted] wrote, "I would have been about 20ish weeks pregnant at the time. I cried, hard core cried because my lunchbox I needed to fill before heading to work was on top of the fridge. I am not short at all. I could reach it easily. But some reason I cried so hard. I was 30 minutes late to work that day."

4) tinster9 wrote this:

"Wife was craving Chef Boyardee ravioli. I was cooking it in on the stove half [*]ss watching it when I glance over and it is at a hard boil. Oh, sh[*]t, I grab it and pull it off the heat and start vigorously stirring so nothing burns to the bottom. Wife walks in ... 'YOU'RE STIRRING IT TOO FAST! THEY ARE GOING TO BREAK APART!' She left the room bawling.

"They kinda did, though."

5) misshobbit wrote, "I was eight or nine months pregnant, and my fiancé had made me a baked potato. But he cut it wrong. I made myself not cry because I knew it was stupid and he was trying. Every single bite of that potato I had to will back tears. Because it was cut wrong."

6) InfiniteCobwebs wrote, "I was at a baseball game and they announced a local philanthropist had passed away. I didn't know this person, but I cried so hard and everyone was looking at me a little strangely."

15. "Office Food Stealers of Reddit: What the F[**]k?"

1) ecesofwar wrote, "Get yourself some potassium permanganate, sold as 'Purple Rain' on Amazon. A dash of this stuff in your food will stain your stealer's face and hands like a son of a b[*]tch. I've used a Q-tip to put a tiny bit of it right under the caps of a six pack of beer that I left in the fridge and found out pretty fast who wasn't asking for permission to drink my stuff."

2) JumpingBean12 wrote this:

"I am a diabetic so my eating lunch is important since I am insulin dependent. When I worked for ConAgra, every time I brought in a Subway sandwich someone stole it. So I got permission from my supervisor and we treated one ghost pepper juice all over and waited ... Soon, one of the guys went to the boss wanting to go home because his lips were blistered and he thought he was having an allergic reaction. The boss smiled at him and asked him what he ate, he told him he had a Subway sandwich. DING DING DING!

"Now not only did he have burnt lips and a burnt mouth, but he no longer had a job! LOL."

3) CesareaTinajero wrote, "God, this is one of my more embarrassing stories. I once grabbed a sandwich from the office fridge, not paying attention. I didn't realize until I bit into it, that it wasn't my sandwich. It was in the same packaging in the same type of grocery bag, but it was someone else's sandwich. I was so embarrassed. I wrapped it up and put it back in the fridge with a note with my office extension and an offer to buy them lunch. Not my finest moment."

16. "Moms of Reddit, What Do You Know About Your Child that You Will Never Tell to Him/Her?"

1) mfiasco wrote this:

"I was/am a parental figure to my orphaned younger siblings and there's something I'll never tell my sister. When she was going through a terrible period as a drug addict, she stole our mom's wallet and all of our mom's credit cards/bank accounts had to be canceled and changed. Our mom was in bad health but had a huge life insurance policy she had gotten almost 15 years prior, when she was healthier. When the accounts were canceled, she forgot to change the auto-payments for the insurance. It was declined and subsequently canceled. She couldn't get another policy anymore — she had too many health problems. My mom told me about all this in confidence.

"Less than two years later our mom died. Everyone thought she had a life insurance policy to help us, but she didn't. She left absolutely nothing. I'm the only one who knows why. It would kill my sister to know her addiction cost us several hundred thousand dollars. The recovery from our mom's death was really hard (siblings moved in with me, etc.) and the insurance money could have saved us a long period of financial and emotional struggle."

2) CodeNameVivaldiii wrote, "That the only reason I taught my kids how to play poker was so that I could learn their tells and know when they're lying to me."

3) coalminnow wrote, "My three-year-old is a very affectionate little guy, but he's very embarrassed about his being affectionate. He thinks I don't know he comes into my room every morning for snuggles and then sneaks out when I wake up."

17. "Hiring Managers of Reddit, What's the Strangest or Most Cringeworthy Thing a Potential Candidate has Said or Done During the Interview?"

Snorkleboy13 wrote, "I had a sales candidate tell me, 'I don't get out of bed for less than $200K USD per year.' I let him stay in bed."

18. "Cops of Reddit, How Do You Handle Petty Offenses/Crimes You Don't Believe Should be Illegal?"

Tru3_B1u3 wrote this:

"Anything involving juveniles as the suspects is always conflicting with me. There are times when kids are not just being kids (nasty assaults, malicious and terrible property damage, etc.) but then there are the little things with big consequences. Minors in possession of alcohol or weed is the bane of my existence. Whenever I come across a drunk kid, I always look for the alternative to arresting them, mainly because I believe it to be extremely detrimental to their future and could greatly impact their chances at school and jobs going forward. I will usually try to get them to a responsible parent or, if they are too intoxicated, to the hospital. It's only the kids who are combative or destructive that I arrest, usually because a warning probably won't get the message through. But for the most part I see it as creating a customer now for the rest of their life, when I could otherwise keep them out of the system.

"About body cams: I imagine cameras will change a lot of how I do things if we ever get them. On this particular instance I doubt it would change things. But I can totally see myself orienting more towards 'letter of the law' over 'spirit of the law' if I knew my every action is recorded. I presently only ever seem to get my [*]ss handed to me in complaints when I try to do what's best for the people as opposed to following the letter of the law anyway.

"I once got a formal complaint for 'verbally berating' (talked to politely and was thanked by the eventual complainants) parents after they assisted their daughter in a hit and run. I didn't feel it was necessary to take them all to jail and got the matter all sorted out. Instead they complained about me to my admin that I talked 'down' to them. If I had taken them all to jail, I would have been legally correct and saved myself some heartache.

"With police wearing a body camera, I could foresee more people getting a 'break' in the form of a talking to, and then pulling this stuff with video to support them. Whereas if I just arrest them and follow the law, I don't have to deal with that."

19. "Teachers of Reddit, what is the Funniest Thing a Student has Said in Class?"

1) Doofnoofer wrote this:

"In college I was the TA [Teaching Assistant] for a history class. The students had turned in their first essays and they were terrible. The professor handed them back marked either P [passed] or NP [not passed], she was from England; I don't know why she scored them like that. Without explaining what the marks meant, she proceeded to yell at them for about 20 minutes about how sucky their writing was, how 10% of the papers were obvious examples of plagiarism and how much she wanted to have those students expelled. Finally as she wound down, a kid raised his hand. With fear in his voice, he said, 'So does P mean p[*]ssed and NP mean not p[*]ssed?'"

2) Justsitstilldammit wrote this:

"We had an officer come to school to talk about their role in the community. At one point she was explaining how the taser she carries works, the rules they follow when using it, and that during training any officer who plans to use a taser must be tasered themselves. One kid asked where on the body it would be least likely to hurt and she told him being hit anywhere with a lot of muscle hurts a lot. He responded, 'Eh, I think I'd still rather take it in the butt.'"

3) WIteacher wrote this:

"'I farted, and now there's poop in my underwear.' —Kindergarten student."

4) 75suited wrote this:

"I teach second grade and began talking about Christopher Columbus for a small lesson around the holiday. I asked if one of my students could tell me why he was so important. It got extremely quiet and I hear one of the boys whisper to another student, 'Oh, I know, he was the first person to fart on America!' Hysterical laughing ensued, but of course I had to correct him — the Native Americans were the first to fart on America."

5) SigKapEA752 wrote this:

"I was teaching 9th grade English at an alternative school. We were reading a non-fiction article about the pros and cons of letting women be put in the draft.

"One of my students (male) said something along the lines of 'I grew up with a great mom who cooked and cleaned and took care of me and dad, and I think that's the right role for women. They just don't have the balls for combat.'

"One of my girls stands up, highly offended, and says (while grabbing her boobs), 'Yes, we do — they're just a bit higher!'

"Edit: I laughed — it was funny. I couldn't help myself.

20. "Children of 'I Want to Talk to Your Manager' Parents, What has been Your Most Embarrassing Experience?"

Allisade wrote this:

"We got screwed once in a Taco Bell drive-thru [...], which sent my mom into a complete meltdown.

"The people running the place had — I sh[*]t you not — run out of lettuce. And I've never dealt with dumber people. Instead of just ... telling people they were out and letting it go, they were being idiots and saying, 'There'll be a small delay...'

"It was a super-hot day, the AC [air conditioning] was broke, we're exhausted, all we really want is some water, but we're stuck in the drive thru line waiting and waiting as ... they try to figure out how to make lettuce out of thin air? You'd think there'd be another bag somewhere or something but ... maybe that was too complicated for them.

"So — twenty minutes into sitting cooking in the car trapped between other cars in the drive through and unable to go forward or back or even sideways (speaker and signs, even if we wanted to jump the curb) and my mother is just cursing up a blue streak about the stupidity of the people involved, screaming her head off about 'just f[**]king make some lettuce-free tacos you dumb sh[*]ts, what do you use for brains, the fetid remains of your blasted-out [*]ssh[*]les' — I remember much of this very vividly as I was about 12 or 13 at the time, and I was learning all sorts of new words and phrases. My little brother took notes.

"That's when we see some Taco Bell teenage idiot employee boy make a break from the building and go sprinting across the parking lot over towards the grocery store across the way. They sent out a f[**]khead to go buy some lettuce ...

"The cursing rises a few notches. NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE F[**]KING LETTUCE. JESUS F[**]KING CHRIST, JUST LET US OUT OF HERE YOU LITTLE ... etc, etc, etc. Volume. Variety. Viciousness. Mom hits all the good Vs.

"Forty-five minutes or so after we got into this — the car at the window (a couple ahead of us), which is probably the real villain of the story (why wouldn't they f[**]king leave without lettuce? Wtf?) finally gets handed something ... and they don't leave immediately they have to f[**]king talk for a while before they drive off.

"My mom is a volcano past its sell-by date and just frothing at the mouth now, but eventually ... they pull off and leave and we can pull up to the window.

"What I've left out of this story is ... my family, for a few years, would participate in parades as clowns, handing out candy to the kids at the side of the road and dancing our way through the parade route to the rocking tune of 'Cel-e-brate good time To-Night!' on repeat.

"And this day was one of those days — we were all in full costume. Makeup, super baggy rainbow pants, rainbow wig, big flower on the suspenders, big ole ridiculous shoes ... the whole deal.

"So the car finally pulls away ahead of us, and my mom, who for the last hour has been a spitting bulldog of bile and vindictive rage and a constant criticizer of the drive-thru window people's ancestry and breeding ... realizes she has to pull up and face them in full Clown Regalia to get our stupid tacos.

"I remember that moment when Mom realized it. The mix of anger, embarrassment, ridiculousness of it — and eventually the humor of the whole situation — went through her and she started laughing so hard she was crying.

"And when the people behind us started honking for us to just GO (they'd been waiting, too) — it just got funnier, somehow.

"So now mom is not just a crazy angry lady — she's a Crazy Angry Clown Lady, and more than that — she's a Crazy Angry Clown Lady who's been sweating and is now crying, too. So she's not even a Crazy Angry Clown Lady with good makeup anymore, she's just a wreck of a Crazy Angry Clown Lady.

"Which makes her laugh even harder.

"My brother and I thought she was going to die. I mean, she couldn't breathe, and those outfits, the heat, hell — the whole reason we pulled into this place was we needed water ...

"To give mom credit, she didn't just squeal out of there flipping everyone the bird — she got herself together, pulled up to the window, looked up at the girl through the car window with her ruined clown make-up and big rainbow wig, and handed her the money very calmly, said 'thank you' and took the bag, and then we drove off.

"I hope to hell they remember us. I know I'll never forget the look on the drive-thru girl's face as we drove up and she started to try to apologize for the delay and ... just ... stopped. Staring at us.

"Good day."
Chapter 2: Questions 21-40

21. "What is the Most Genius Distraction Tactic You have Ever Pulled?"

1) megasaurus420 wrote, "My Nan wouldn't let me take gammon [ham that has been smoked or cured like bacon] or beef from the plate at Christmas until everything was ready, so I put on an act and told her there's a spider going down the wall in the kitchen (knowing full well she is petrified of them, I told her she can leave the kitchen and I'll put it outside as I know she can't even look at them). When she left, I helped myself to the food, and had me a nice gammon and beef roll in the kitchen before going into the living room and telling her I put the spider outside and it's safe to go back into now."

2) TheSanityInspector wrote this:

"My four-year-old didn't want to drink his milk. So I asked him, 'How old are you?'

"'Four,' he said.

"'Okay,' I said, in the manner of stating a logical conclusion. 'So drink four big gulps of milk!'

"He obligingly did so, finishing off the milk.

"Another time another small child didn't want to leave the playground. So I asked her, 'How old are you?'

"'Three,' she said.

"'Okay,' I said, in the same manner of stating a logical conclusion. 'So go down the slide three more times, then squeeze Daddy's nose three times, then we'll go.'

"She agreed, and these activities accomplished, we left with no fuss."

22. "What is Something that will Always Cheer You Up No Matter How Bad Things Get?"

1) ecclesdeshade wrote, "My cat headbutts me in the face when I'm sad. Or if I'm really sad, he throws his entire body at me."

poopellar commented, "I need to borrow your cat."

graffitigremlin commented, "I'll lie in bed when I'm sad and my cat comes in and meows loudly till I let her under the covers. She then proceeds to get all comfy and then put her head on my shoulder, one arm across my chest and we nap."

2) UNSCChipsDubbo wrote, "Remembering my drunk wife asking for four cheeseburgers after saying she wasn't hungry, then while waiting, watching her treat the edge of a kerb [or curb] like a trapeze artist as she spun her umbrella around and then fall off the end with a cute 'whoop'. Always makes me smile."

3) TheIrishGoat wrote, "It may sound odd, but a fresh haircut. When I've felt weighed down by the present/past, the haircut always feels like you're starting a new phase and there's possibility to change and grow as a person, or to fix whatever the issue in your life currently is. You take back a bit of control over your perceived reality."

4) Larhonda123 wrote, "Whenever I'm walking and someone comes by with a dog that they don't mind me petting, and it's so wiggly and happy and soft. I just get some doggie kisses and continue on my way, much more cheerful."

5) Dapper-Storage wrote, "Watching videos of dogs welcoming home soldiers. Just seeing how happy that makes someone always puts me in a good mood."

6) 19badflower wrote, "Spending time happy with my boyfriend. I kiss him so much."

7) Vaganhope_UAE wrote, "Popcorn. Have you ever not had a smile while eating popcorn? Yes, there are other things like music and riding my motorcycle, but popcorn is so underrated."

8) BiffChildFromBangor wrote, "Anything with Laurel and Hardy and especially their short movie 'The Music Box.'"

23. "What is the Happiest Moment of Your Life?"

1) FrogginBullfish_ wrote this:

"I got to spend an entire week staying with my grandmother once when I was a child. That week was the best since I love my grandmother. We would scrapbook, sew, bake cookies, and do puzzles together. I was so happy to be able to spend time with her like that. She was my favorite person in the world. Right now I'm even holding onto a quilt she made for me.

"I loved my grandmother so much that when I was a little kid what I wanted to be when I grew up was a grandmother.

"She is no longer alive, and I miss her kind eyes and her smile. But she was suffering and was no longer herself towards the end. We did share a special moment hours before she died. I asked if I could be alone with her in the hospital room since a lot of family members were talking loudly and she looked unconscious. I kneeled beside her bed and told her how much I loved her and how much she shaped my life, and she opened her eyes and smiled at me. No one else got that moment of closure, and I will be forever grateful that I had the chance to say goodbye."

2) pillllz wrote, "My mum saying she was proud of me."

3) dirtybirdz233 wrote this:

"When I showed my fiancée her ring. She knew I had the ring and kept trying to find it. Me being impatient, I wanted her to see it so badly and one night she finally convinced me after too much wine.

"She's a very stoic and serious person for the most part, but when I showed her the ring, she gasped, put her hands to her face and started crying and said, 'That's for me?' Easily my most happiest and proud moment."

4) Furgabombavich wrote, "When my daughter said, 'Luff you, Daddy' for the first time."

5) Zer_0 wrote this:

"I was sitting at my sister's kitchen table. It was the house we grew up in. My sister lives there now with her family. She has three kids who come home to that house, do their homework at that table, and eat dinner there. It was a safe place to get the call that my fertility treatment finally worked, and that I was pregnant.

"That moment ties with new ones each day as my son runs to meet me when I get home."

6) JamJqm wrote, "When I eat garlic bread, every bad thought goes away."

danwilkie90 joked, "You should work for the Garlic Bread Marketing Board — now I'm totally getting garlic bread on the way home."

7) pottah24 wrote this:

"My family and I were on vacation in Paris and I needed to buy some bread, so I went to this cute bakery and when I walked back it was snowing

"I dunno why it's my happiest moment of my life, but I was just so peaceful."

Bringmethebatmobile commented, "Those indescribable little moments are seriously what I love. They can happen f[**]king anywhere, and there's nothing like having that little thought of, 'This is so f[**]king nice. This is f[**]king beautiful.' I long for the day where I might share one of these moments with somebody."

24. "What Moment in Your Life Made You Cry Tears of Joy?"

1) GrenadeLawyer wrote this:

"Okay so here goes. Several years ago, after finishing university, I started working at a big corporate law firm. The job was extremely demanding. I'm talking about working till the middle of the night, high stress, no compromises, every single day.

"Most of the time the work was interesting, and you didn't feel like you were doing something completely retarded. However, sometimes you were required to do really, really retarded sh[*]t.

"It was a Friday, and I was informed that some emergency regulatory submission was required in a deal that I had nothing to do with, on Monday. I had to spend the entire weekend, I'm talking about literally 72 hours straight, arranging ring-binders. That's it, there were thousands of documents that needed arranging in binders, and I had spent the entire weekend arranging them. No thought process whatsoever. Just retarded labor.

"It was like that until Monday at midnight. Monday was my birthday. I was forced to cancel whatever tentative modest plans I had made to begin with. My birthday was entirely spent zombie-arranging documents in ring binders.

"I headed home a broken man. I was so utterly depressed and tired, and I felt that I had disappointed my girlfriend (whom I had not actually seen in four days) and that my job was actually causing damage to my relationship.

"I arrived at our flat, and it was packed to the ceiling with balloons and party decorations. There was no one there, just the two of us, but the whole tiny flat was like a giant birthday prop store.

"On the table was the most beautifully decorated present I had ever seen. It was clear it took her hours to arrange this small gesture in the middle of the night. I broke down and cried. I was so happy that my birthday ended up being celebrated after all, and that I had someone love me this much.

"We're getting married soon."

2) CrispyCheerios wrote, "Hiking in the middle of the night in Yosemite and reaching the top of Upper Yosemite Falls to see the Milky Way and stars stretching across the never-ending sky above me. It was one of those beautiful moments up to this point in my life where I felt free, like truly free. I thought about how awesome of a life I was granted and all those who help me get through the tough times I had recently went through. So at that moment I was one with the universe and I felt amazing. I stayed there for at least an hour or so just lying on my back looking at the sky."

3) a-m98 wrote this:

"When I finally felt well enough and healed from depression enough to play with my nephew and enjoy the first year of his life.

"He loved me even when I was depressed and would come to me if I called him. But the moment he chose to come to me because he missed me ... God. My heart broke and mended in those five seconds.

"Still brings a tear to my eyes."

a-m98 added:

"We live in the same house and he's one year old. He crawled to me by choice, leaving his mother's lap for mine. My sister-in-law (also my best friend) and I were both so happy.

"Now, he tries to call for me and if I get up and leave, he'll watch the door for me to come back or clap for me. When he's ill, before he wanted only his grandma and his mum. Now I'm included in that list!"

4) Conscious_Creation wrote, "Seeing my self-conscious best friend shine when she wore a dress she loved."

5) jayluc45 wrote, "When my daughter was born."

6) Clarity4me wrote, "Seeing my son come home after a deployment."

25. "Just a Reminder to Call the Person Who Cares About You the Most and Tell Them You Appreciate Them. Who Did You Call and How Did They Respond?"

1) Nadereid wrote, "I live and study a six-hour flight away from my parents, in another country. I called them today after not being able to for a while. They sent me pictures of my cat back home and my mom taught me how to make her cookie recipe!"

2) hey_dougz0r wrote this:

"A little over four and a half years ago now, I asked my parents out to dinner. I had been putting it off for many months and for no particular reason I decided to stop procrastinating. I had been living on my own for some time, so I did not get to see them terribly often in person.

"About two weeks later, my dad passed away. I am very thankful I was able to see him again one more time. The memory of it has stuck with me ever since. I miss you, dad.

"'The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is today.'"

3) grazdeto wrote, "My grandma! She told me she'll come over there and spank my [*]ss because I should never feel like she's doing me a favour for loving me."

4) RevengeNemesis wrote, "I called my cousin. I am not an affectionate person, so I was shy and embarrassed about it. Needless to say she was confused and worried but was happy that I called. Amy, I love and appreciate your stupid [*]ss and without you I would probably be drinking Pepto Bismol by accident and be putting coffee in my cereal instead of milk."

5) klgall1 wrote this:

"My husband looks over from his side of the bed:

"'Huh, what? Why are you calling me?'

"I tell him I love and appreciate him.

"'I love you, too. Why are you calling me?'

"I tell him Reddit told me to.

"'Oh. Ok. Yeah, I love you, too. Thanks.'"

6) TwoTheVictor joked, "I keep trying to call myself, but my line is busy."

7) LostPotatoHotPotato wrote, "Didn't call; texted my best friend and she said, 'I love you, too, my dude.'"

26. "What are Your Nicest/Weirdest Encounters with Complete Strangers?"

1) pinche_avocado wrote, "I'm in Death Valley with a close friend and it's nighttime. We were going to start heading back home after looking at the stars and we realize one of the tires is losing air fast. Nothing is open and no hotels nearby. We're pretty much screwed at this point. We go to a truck stop and this random family stopped everything they were doing to teach us how to fix a tire with a simple kit, and how to put the tire on and off. After they did all of that for us, they gave us muffins. They were some of the sweetest people I've met. I'm very lucky to have experienced that."

2) throwawaytrumper wrote, "I once was vomiting up some ginger-ale highballs in the bathroom of a bar as a guy in the next stall was also puking. We ended up having a nice chat in between heaves, and we encouraged each other to leave our stalls nice and clean before leaving. I never saw the man's face."

3) loooocy wrote this:

"A couple years back, my grandma asked me to sell off some furniture for her online from her apartment in the city. So I'm there alone (18-year-old Female), and it's late afternoon when a much older man shows up.

"He tells me his son, who's the one interested in buying the cabinet I'm selling, will be there shortly — so I invite him in to take a look at it. His son doesn't call, and two hours later I'm consoling this man who's in tears over his recent divorce, with still no word from the son.

"Eventually the son shows up, completely unapologetic, takes one look at the cabinet and walks out with his dad. I spent two hours counselling this complete stranger through his divorce and they didn't even thank me for my time, let alone buy the cabinet. It was one of the strangest things that's ever happened to me!"

4) thedandu wrote, "I was in a hotel washing my clothes and this man started talking with me. We talked about politics, traveling, the French language and his kids for about 45 minutes before he had to leave. We never said our names, just the province we're from. It was really nice, and I got to practice my English!"

5) Tiberius-the-Cuddler wrote, "I work in a toy shop, and I have had countless customers with very interesting stories. They include people with arts and crafts projects, grandparents with no idea what's popular (usually end up ranting about 'back in my day ...'), tourists expressing their amazement at toys unavailable in their country, and I even had a physiotherapist tell me about his profession when he was after rubber/squishy balls with different textures. Sometimes, customers' stories have made my day."

6) VampireYuki69 wrote, "Just happened last week. Went to buy groceries and there's a park nearby where my toddler likes walking around. There was this adorable very friendly cat that loved the attention and followed us around. There are lots of double-story houses and I asked a person who lived in one of the houses if he knew the cat and he said that it was a street cat. I went back to the store to buy cat food, but the cat was not interested. Someone from a balcony asked if it was my cat because he gave the cat milk the other day and I said no but another neighbour came to us and told us which house the cat belongs to and how much attention it gets from everyone. So that cat has a good life by being loved by everyone and also bringing strangers together for a nice chat."

7) haleybee24 wrote, "When I was still in contact with my biological father, he was going in for a surgery that would either help his MS (multiple sclerosis) or paralyze him. At the time I worked in retail and I got a text from him that said he made it out of the surgery. As a woman comes up to my register, she sees me almost crying. She asks how my day was and I said it was going amazingly, but it was going. She asked what was wrong. I had told her and the first thing she did was ask me what his name was. I said, 'Joe' (at that point I was confused). But I knew after a second what was happening). She then took my hands and prayed. I'm Buddhist. I pray differently. But the gesture that this woman did struck me and I hadn't said 'amen' in more than a decade. But when she said it, I had tears welling up in my eyes and I said it, too. Regardless of whether I speak to my biological father or not, that woman has been the most amazing person I've come across."

27. "What is Something that You MUST Do Daily, Otherwise You Feel Totally Off or Incomplete?"

DLVSH wrote this:

"When I was a little girl, my grandpa went to the grocery store to grab a couple items. I was baking something with my grandma, and we needed whatever it was. Should have been a 30-minute trip at the absolute most! Five hours later, Grandpa still wasn't home. This was in the 1980's, so it was way before cell phones. I remember being so nonchalant about Grandpa leaving to go to the store. I barely said goodbye.

"Grandpa returned eventually after helping someone with a broken-down car, but that event stuck with me to this day.

"Those hours worrying about what happened to Grandpa still resonate with me to this day. Any family member or close friend leaving me must get a hug, kiss, and an 'I love you.'"

28. "Have You Ever Applied for and Got a Job You Didn't Feel You were Qualified For? What Happened Next?"

1) OscarBrownely wrote this:

"I was working as a temp (after being a SAHM [Stay-At-Home-Mom] for 16 years) and the manager of the department had a key person quit. She asked me twice if I would consider taking the job and I was honest and told her I wasn't qualified. She then had me schedule interviews for people already within the firm. After six or seven interviews, she came to my desk, took off her glasses, made eye contact with me and said she thought I was more qualified and motivated than any of the people she had interviewed. I disagreed again and she told me that she promised to teach me everything I needed to know and to get my [*]ss over to HR [Human Resources] and apply for the d[*]mn job ... NOW! I did and she worked my [*]ss off but she was the catalyst for the wonderful career with a dream firm that I retired from last year. She took care of me and mentored me in ways I can never thank her for.

"As I rose through the ranks, I paid it forward (with male and female protégés). Like her, I learned how to recognize diamonds in the rough, mentor them to reach potential and it serves the firm well still."

2) amandaloo86 wrote, "Yes. The one I have now. The interviewer even commented on my lack of relevant experience. But he said that the best person he'd ever had in the position I was going for had no prior experience either. Out of about 30 people, almost all with more experience than me, I got the job and I love it. And I'm really good at it now. I had about six months of 'I'm not good enough. I'm gonna get fired. I'm gonna fail.' But I just kept trying to do my best and it worked. Three years later I'm still here."

3) todayonbloopers wrote this:

"In my case, imposter syndrome turned out to be true. I crashed, burned, and have had to wipe it from my CV [Curriculum Vita] due to the terrible references I got. I was the only applicant, so I think they were desperate to just take anyone, knowing that I could be fired anytime within six months of probation.

"That said, I hit rock bottom and found out that failure wasn't so bad. I could have stayed at home unemployed, but while I was out there failing, I was at least pulling in some money and now that I've scrubbed it from my CV it doesn't have to haunt me anymore."

29. "Anyone, What are Some Stories You have Wanted to Tell People But Haven't had the Right AskReddit Question to Answer?"

1) wesleh778 wrote, "At my high school orientation, the principal was giving a speech about road safety for pedestrians, and he said, and I quote, 'In my time here, I've seen three kids hit by cars, and that's one too many.'"

2) Back2Bach wrote, "My aunt's African Grey parrot talked incessantly, but the parrot mostly used cuss words and phrases her first husband taught it. We never figured out why the parrot retained everything her former husband taught it, but nothing she said."

raven_darkseid commented, "This reminded me of my friend's dad's blue and gold macaw. He was a super-friendly bird, kind of like a dog in a bird body. He would just randomly screech, 'Shut the f[**]k up!' I was not expecting it the first time I heard it and almost peed myself from laughing so hard.

"Apparently, his ex-wife hated the bird and would shout that at him whenever he was being too loud. He was a cool bird. I would have divorced anyone that was mean to him, too."

Blueblaez commented, "This is my African grey to a tee. One afternoon he was asking, 'Are you a good boy?' in my voice. He kept repeating it for a few minutes, then got real quiet, and then screamed, 'F[**]k, no!' in his voice. Thank god I was in the other room so he couldn't see me laughing. Lord knows I don't need to encourage him."

Unrect commented, "My dream is to teach a bird to repeat 'Help! I've turned into a bird!'"

thndrchld commented:

"One of my friends had a bird that would occasionally make a phone-ringing noise, then lift its foot to its head and say, 'Hello? Yes. No, we're not interested. Because I f[**]king said so.'

C-Nor commented:

"My mom was always disappointed in any cussing whatsoever. My sisters and I weren't even allowed to use such profanity as 'boob', 'fart', etc.

"A year or so before she died, she answered the phone, made a face, and hung up. Daddy asked her who it was, and she replied, 'Pitch.' We all were shocked, asking, 'Did you say BITCH?'

"She was appalled that we would even think that! It's now our family code word for things that would make Mom sad.

"Also what we call all telemarketers."

3) DoubleSlamJam wrote, "When I was little, I wanted to watch _Pulp Fiction_ because I thought it was a movie about oranges."

ScorpiusCentauri commented, "I was in the same situation as a kid but I thought that _A Clockwork Orange_ was about mechanical oranges ...."

4) fireinvestigator113 wrote this:

"I have a demon-killing lawnmower.

"Awhile back I helped investigate a fire scene. The fire was pretty much confined to the basement, but the whole basement was damaged.

"Going through the debris, we found a lawnmower. In the basement. Which is very unusual. But in the lawnmower blades we found chunks of carpet and wood. Which is even weirder. And then just to add fuel to the fire, parts of the carpet and furniture in the basement looked like they'd been attacked with a lawnmower.

"The owner of the house had been arrested, but we didn't know why.

"It turns out the guy had been on a three-day meth binge. He began to hallucinate heavily. He claimed demons were attacking him in his house. He somehow figured out they were coming from the basement, so he went down and started fighting them.

"He realized there were too many, so he went up to his garage and got the lawnmower and started mowing the demons as they came out of the basement floor. They (the demons) overpowered him and stopped his lawnmower from moving. So he took the gas cap off and dumped the tank out and lit the whole basement on fire in an attempt to kill the demons.

"So I had to collect the lawnmower as evidence. And that is the story of how I ended up with a demon-killing lawnmower."

5) RandomUser5781 wrote this:

"My mother and her best friend, S, lost contact for about ten years. One morning, unannounced, S showed up at her door. My mother was thrilled, they sat and had coffee, and they chatted for a couple hours.

"After a while S said, 'Don't you want to ask me something?

"My mother was surprised and said, 'No ... you look great ..."

"S said, 'Yes, I'm well.'

"Mom said, 'I like your new haircut!'

"S said, 'Yes ... I shaved my head ..."

"My mother nodded, confused.

"S said, 'And I'm wearing sandals ... and saffron ... I'm a Buddhist nun!'

"My mother had not noticed."

PotentialWizard commented, "The mom was focused on seeing her friend, not on what she was wearing, which is nice."

Hurry_for_Candy commented, "I made a new friend in high school. She introduced me to her mother and father, and I got along great with her dad. He taught me to play a difficult card game and we spent hours playing together. One day another friend of ours mentioned how badly disfigured he was from the 'accident' and I was like, 'What are you talking about?' I had never noticed the man was scarred and burned over his entire body and missing fingers as he had been in an explosion while working on a ship."

6) MightyEskimoDylan wrote this:

"This story involves my name, so I'll use the obvious alias John Doe.

"I'm a man who has gone by my last name since I was 13. This one cute girl started calling me 'Doe' and I just ran with it and it stuck for life.

"In my senior year of college, I was telling my best friend a story about a call I had with my mom, and, imitating her, I quoted her as saying 'John' blah blah blah.'

"He asked me who John was.

"Apparently my best friend in college thought my name was 'Doe Doe' for over three years."

NOTE: The editor of this book goes by his middle name: David. His full name is Bruce David Bruce.

limeyptwo commented, "My mom has always claimed she knows a George George."

jznastics commented:

"I had a similar but slightly less extreme situation. In my sophomore year of college, I was living in the dorms, and I was introducing myself to some of the new freshmen on my floor. I met one of them and said, 'Hi, my name is X, but you probably won't remember that, and that's fine.' He looked at me and said, 'You know what, you're right. I'm going to call you Chuck.' And that whole group of friends just started calling me Chuck.

"Fast forward about seven months: In the next semester one of my friends tried to get my attention by yelling out 'Chuck!' But I didn't respond for the first two or three times, so I turned and said, 'Sorry, I forgot you guys call me that sometimes.' And he looked at me, confused. 'Wait, that's not your real name?'"

7) YeahLikeTheGroundhog wrote this:

"Short Version: I met Osama Bin Laden in the early nineties and Yasser Arafat in the late nineties, and now the NSA, FBI, and CIA are aware of me.

"Long Version: I went to a pretty good private high school in the early nineties. About two/thirds of the students were foreign, and about half of them were Arabs. I became good friends with a boy my age who turned out to be a very minor member of the Saudi Royal Family. I visited him in Saudi Arabia one summer and met Osama Bin Laden. I wouldn't have remembered if my friend hadn't brought it up at a reunion a few years ago. I spoke to Osama Bin Laden, but don't remember any of the actual conversation.

"In college I became friends with a student who was the child of a Palestinian Cabinet member. They were a couple years older than me. After they graduated, I studied abroad in Israel/Palestine, and would visit them regularly. During one visit, Arafat arrived to speak with the parent/cabinet member. His security was p[*]ssed that I was there, but Arafat was cool with it. I spoke with him for ~10 minutes. I won't get into the politics, but the dude was a personable mother[**]ker.

"Fast forward 2010ish, boingboing.net published a blog post about how to request your 'file' from the major intelligence agencies using the Freedom of Information Act. For funsies, I decided to do it. Apparently, if they have information about you, they'll share it. If they don't, they'll respond saying that have nothing. With me, however, all three responded that they have info about me, but will not share it and won't disclose why. I'm sure it's because of my 'Middle Eastern' connections.'"

8) Racing_in_the_street wrote this:

"When I was in high school, I threw a party and a friend drunkenly put a hole in the wall right by the entrance. My parents would be back in a little over 24 hours. The day following the party I went to Home Depot and explained to the guy working there my situation. To which he basically told me, 'Yeah, dude, you don't have enough time to fix a hole in the wall.' After getting all the supplies, I figured I was good to go out with some friends for a while, come home and quickly fix the wall.

"I come home from being out around 10 pm, giving me about 12 hours before my parents would come home. I fill up the hole with the mesh and sheetrock. Now it's all filled up and smooth, still wet and obviously a different color than the wall itself. I remembered that my mom painted the wall herself a few years back and there are still paint cans left over in the basement.

"After grabbing a can that matched the color of the wall, I got ready to cover the spot. The second I painted onto the wall I immediately noticed the paint color was too dark. It's the same color but a much darker shade so my mom must've thought it was too dark and added white to lighten the color. So, I go back to the basement for white paint. I spend the next few hours trying to find the right shade that my mom used so once painted, the wall would match in color with the surrounding walls. After an eternity I finally get the right color! It's 3-4 am at this point and I paint the whole wall.

"Once I'm done the wall looks great, you can't even tell there was ever a hole. My next obvious issue is the smell of paint. One step into the house and my parents would immediately know something isn't right — it reeks of paint. That's when I remembered seeing a can of blue paint in the basement. I grab the blue paint and a poster board used from a school project and make a sign saying WELCOME HOME. I then hang the sign in the same room as the wet wall, on an opposite wall to draw attention there and off the painted wall. I purposely leave the can of blue paint there on the floor with the lid off to help sell the reason for the strong smell of paint.

"Then I went to bed, exhausted and with only a few hours to spare. I woke up when they arrived to greet them / see if I was gonna get busted or not. My plan worked like a charm! I got away with it. They loved the 'welcome home' sign. I know what you must be wondering, but what about the wet paint! There's no way it dried in time! You're right, it was 100% still wet when they arrived. I just prayed nobody would touch the wall!

"That's one of my stories I'm actually very proud of! That was over 10 years ago and I'm still just as proud today of that accomplishment as I was back then.

"Edit: For those assuming my parents knew but went along with it. There's a 0% chance of that, my parents were insanely strict, my dad especially. In fact, a few weeks before, I had already gotten in trouble for having people over and the neighbors ended up calling my parents to complain about the noise."

30. "What are Some Good Examples of Murphy's Law that Happened in Your Life?"

1) Damitol wrote, "This is sort of the opposite of Murphy's Law, really: When my wife was pregnant with our twins, she went into labor early and was rushed to the hospital. They were trying to stop the labor so the babies wouldn't be born before their lungs could develop, but just in case the doctor prescribed a hormone injection that would vastly accelerate the development of the babies' lungs and brains. At the time there was a huge outbreak of 'mad cow disease,' and this hormone is derived from the pituitary gland of certain cows. When the doctor came in to give my wife the injection, he told all the other doctors in the room, 'This is literally the last dose of this in the United States of America.' No more became available for almost a year. It saved my children's lives."

Note: Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong. Opposite of Murphy's Law: If anything can go right, it will go right.

CruzaSenpai commented, "Well, he used it on twins, so it was basically a two for one."

2) ChickenLittle8890 wrote, "I had a flat tire on the way home in the rain. I put the spare on, but it went flat about two miles further down the road. The only person to stop was my ex [...]. She left when she realized it was me. I walked the last eight miles."

maleorderbride commented, "Of all the flat tires on all the highways in all the world, she stops to help mine."

3) Frekkes wrote this:

"I have a good one. I was a high school kid going on a first date. I was late because I have a flat tire. I pick her up and we go to the beach. We go to grab food, but I forgot my wallet, so I have to awkwardly tell her and she has to pay. We go and lie on the beach to talk, and a seagull dive bombs me and bull's-eye me right in the middle of the forehead. I try to drive her home and my truck won't start. I find someone to jump my truck, it works, but since I was parked on a steep hill, when he goes to leave he rolls into my truck f[**]king up the bumper and then he just drives off.

"I somehow got a second date, haha."

bl0rp0e commented, "Comically shi[*]ty first dates are the best dates. It gives you a chance to show you can handle sh[*]tty circumstances with grace."

31. "What's the Simplest Way to Show the Most Kindness in Everyday Life?"

1) Thoros_of_queer wrote, "Give compliments. Genuine and honest, randomly or surgically. It may change a person's entire day, or at the very least improve it only for a moment. People love hearing them, and you'll feel better about yourself for doing so."

The_Traveling_Gamer commented:

"When I visit conventions, I like to take pictures of cosplayer's outfits. Before I even ask if I can take a photo, I try to think of one or two compliments to tell the cosplayers so I don't just snap and bail. The number of times I've heard cosplayers say they've sewn their own outfits is amazing, and always puts a smile on their face when you note the subtle parts of their outfits that look good.

"One person I met put together her own Princess Peach dress based on the design from _Smash Bros. Melee_. Not the standard Mario universe design, the one with the extra lace and trimmings and everything else. I was dumbfounded!"

Thoros_of_queer commented, "That's awesome. Sounds like you're acknowledging their hard work and passion! The camera snap is a great little nod to them, too."

2) Elyse48456 wrote, "I try and practice the theory of 'three selves.' There's my past self whom I need to forgive for everything he did, my present self whom I need to love and take reasonable care of, and my future self whom I need to do whatever I can for today to make his life easier. It's cheesy and simple and ... kind of works."

3) Desirae wrote, "Friendly acknowledgement of others."

DreamSeaside commented:

"I went to the mall a few weeks ago. There was a kid, I guess maybe 16 years old, handing out fliers. He tried to hand me a flier, but I had no need for whatever it was he was selling. I said, 'No, thank you. But I hope you have a nice day. Good luck with this.'"

"He said, 'Thank you for acknowledging I exist.'

"Apparently, everyone else avoided eye contact and ignored him."

OtisReddit commented, "Well, that's because a significant part of them don't take 'no' for an answer. Being followed down the street after politely telling them you're not interested is no fun. If you want to talk to me about an issue, set up a little booth and lay out the material so I can decide myself if I want to know more. Don't accost me. But maybe that's just me."

4) icewine999 wrote, "See a need, fill a need, don't charge. Got a stray dog that comes up? Set your scraps out for it. Old lady behind you on a walker going in somewhere with you? Stand around, smack your gums [talk to her] for 20 seconds, and hold the door open for her. Let the pregnant woman sit on the bus. If you see two kids near ready to death-battle over a piece of cake one got and the other didn't and you got a piece on your plate ... well, damnit, give the other one that piece. It's cake. You'll survive it. Save them both an [*]ss whooping from their daddy."

32. "What Evil Prank have You Pulled Off?"

1) molnarg1102 wrote, "Two of my friends have never met each other. Before they spoke, I told both of them that the other is a bit deaf. They shouted at each other for a few minutes before they realized that I'm an [*]ssh[*]le."

2) dogexpert420 wrote this:

"My mom always brings one unpeeled hard-boiled egg for lunch at work. I replaced one hard-boiled egg with a regular uncooked egg.

"Needless to say she almost beat my [*]ss when she came home."

3) HustlePlays wrote this:

"I got a Harry Potter calligraphy set for my birthday years ago; it had Hogwarts marked paper, envelopes and everything.

"My brother ate all of my birthday chocolates from an aunt that night so I plotted my revenge. Next September I copied out Harry's letter word for word in green ink, changing only the name.

"I let him believe he was going to magic school for two whole weeks before I crushed his dream."

4) CapaxInfini wrote this:

"I can meow just like a cat. In fact I can do it so well that people will often look around for the cat that is not there. This has resulted in several hilarious instances of strangers running around frantically looking for the cat and me sitting off to the side watching.

"Stray cats will usually stare at me for a couple seconds before continuing doing whatever. Pet cats will usually hold a conversation with me, particularly if they're chatty."

5) grubychild wrote this:

"I saw a post about switching around mayo and vanilla pudding, so I emptied out a mayo jar and cleaned it well, filled it with a few pots worth of vanilla pudding and took it to university. Our university is very lax about eating during the lectures, so I waited until midday when I was sitting in the middle of all my friends and they were all eating their lunch.

"Cue me taking out the jar of 'mayo' and a spoon, popping the lid and taking a big ol' spoonful with a grin. At first only the closest ones noticed, but after the third spoon it was like everyone was frozen around me. Pin-drop silence.

"After the fifth spoon someone faux-retched and the spell was broken. The looks of sheer terror and disgust were well worth the pain of eating vanilla pudding. (I'm a chocolate kinda gal.)"

6) drugdealersdream wrote this:

"I don't know if this is a prank, or just evil.

"I was about six, and I was the baby of the family until my mum gave birth to the new baby. Suddenly, I assumed position of 'big sister' and I had to constantly be a big giiiirl. I didn't wanna be a big girl — I was tired of the baby getting everyone's attention. I was jealous of the baby — this was my gig! I was ROBBED.

"One day, we had a huge family gathering at Grandma's, where we'd see all the family we'd not seen in months. All the cuddles and kisses and cooing that were usually given to me, were now all for the baby. Now all I got was a high-five or head ruffle. Well, I was tired of being the big girl in the baby's shadow — it was time to steal my thunder back. I had a plan.

"I went outside into the yard where all my cousins were playing and did a cartwheel. I used that opportunity to fake crash land onto my head and completely 'knock myself out'. I lay on the ground, out cold. My cousins all gathered around me and tried shaking me and yelling for me to wake up, before panicking and running inside to get an adult. A few seconds later, everyone comes rushing out to help me — Grandma, Grandpa, Mum, Dad, uncles and aunts, all there at my aid, all for me — it was then in that moment I realised: I'm the baby. I had all the attention. The baby became nothing more than just a pudgy flesh ball strapped to my mum's chest. I basked in the attention. I lay on the floor pretending to be really hurt and dazed. I remember someone asking if they should phone an ambulance — my Dad refused and just picked up me and had me in Grandma's bed the rest of the day whilst everyone bought me lots of ice cream."

7) wafflepark wrote, "I lived in Korea for a bit. When my mom came to visit, I told my Korean girlfriend it was an American custom to greet older women by touching elbows. I told my mom the same story about Korean customs. It was a thing of beauty. They were not pleased."

Vpsj commented, "In India we touch the feet of our elders to get their blessings. I wonder if someone is pranking us since the last 5000 years. That cheeky motherf[**]ker."

8) ThatD[*]mnFloatingEye wrote, "There is a used bookstore that I go to sometimes. This bookstore sells used postcards. I bought a few that had been previously sent 20-30 years prior. I then slapped a fresh stamp on them and tossed them into the mailbox. I wish I could have seen the people's reaction when they showed up."

9) debtincarnate wrote this:

"I used to work at a science tutoring center when I was in college and my gap year before professional school. One of the things we taught very often was anatomy. So naturally we acquired a few skeletons and various skulls with some variation in how they looked or were marked, etc. Well, I was closing one night, and I knew my co-worker was opening the next morning early, so before I locked up, I assembled ALL of the skeletons and skulls in a ... welcome party near the front door. I had one immediately at the opening of the only door into the room with several back-up skeletons and skulls just behind at a table together watching on. The best part was that you have to turn on the lights manually and that switch is immediately to the side of the door opening, so when she reached down to turn on the lights, she had to come face to face with some lifeless skeleton skull in the middle of the shady opening. Needless to say she screamed, and it was loud enough to make our boss come to see if she was ok.

"I woke up to some colorful texts. I'm still proud of that one honestly."

33. "What was the Best First Date You have Ever Been On?"

1) Ady_14 wrote, "Back in high school, there was this guy I was really close to and everyone thought we were dating. Then one day, he just casually asked me out by basically saying something along the lines of, 'Hey, what do you say we give that dating thing a shot?' We set a date for the next day. However, that night at 12:00 a.m. (yes, technically the next day) he turned up at my window and whisked me away to this carnival. We kissed on top of the Ferris wheel and it tasted like cotton candy and ice cream and it was cheesy, but it was magical."

2) westonrock wrote, "I had been clicking hard with someone and we set up a role play date. He comes to town every other month for a week. He showed me around his hotel as if he worked there and left me to swim while he went back to work. There was my favorite kind of wine at the room. He gave me instructions to be nude and under the covers when he came back from work and he was going to be a masseuse. The chemistry was insane, and it was a full two-hour quality massage. I'd never had a real one and I don't think I could now. Afterwards he took me to dinner and shortly after that evening, we had the best date of my entire life. The intensity dropped off after a few more dates, but I will always treasure them. We are good friends now."

3) WhiteFlatBlonde wrote this:

"He took me to an aquarium, and afterwards we went to a nice little restaurant by the beach where we just had fish and chips and talked for hours.

"In hindsight, it wasn't so much the places we went or the things we did. It was just the fact that he was super easy to talk to, like somehow you could go on and on about the stupidest things. It was nice!"

4) MinimalistFan wrote this:

"It was a 'first and only' date with a childhood friend. I was passing back through the city where I'd lived (and where he lived) on my way to college. When I saw his father & told him I'd like to see 'Sam,' he passed the word and Sam called me and asked if he could take me to dinner.

"I didn't know until shortly before the date that Sam had become a transvestite. In deference to his father (I met Sam at his childhood home), Sam wore men's clothes — but fishnet stockings underneath, and more makeup than I ever did.

"First we went to a themed restaurant that was mostly for tourists, but which he liked for the kitsch. Dinner was fun, and then he suggested that we grab some day-old bread and feed ducks at a particular place he liked (yeah, I know now not to feed ducks bread ... but this was in the 80s). Then he asked if I'd ever seen the city lights from a local high point, but he made sure that I knew he wasn't asking because the place was well known as a make-out spot. (I DID know that, and I agreed to go. Sam wasn't trying to make a move on me, and I knew it.)

"We managed to dodge any couples who might have been up there and spent a short time admiring the city lights. Then he took me home. I thanked him for a fun evening and kissed him on the cheek, and his face lit up.

"We haven't seen each other since, but it was the best date I've ever been on. No pressure, just a good time with an old friend."

5) bamitsmeg wrote this:

"One afternoon I met with a friend of a friend because I needed some web development work done and I'd heard he was freelancing and was really good. I bought him lunch and we went over the work I needed done, his rates, etc. and then started just shooting the sh[*]t. We had a great time hanging out together.

"We exchanged numbers before we parted ways so he could contact me about the website stuff and we immediately started texting and didn't stop the entire day. I worked evenings and we agreed to meet up again after my shift to hang out — we got drunk, stayed out until the next morning, and had an amazing time together.

"Hands down my favorite first date. He must have liked the two-part, all-day date, too, because we got married last summer. :)"

**34. "What Compliment have You been Told that You Never Forgot**?"

1) Usidore_ wrote this:

"I've shared this before, but hey, it cheers me up whenever I think about it:

"The best compliment I ever got was by accident.

"I was walking along the street with my friend, when a young boy and his mother overtook us, and the boy was dumbstruck by me, and was practically walking backwards to stare at me. I was used to it and tried to ignore it. I have dwarfism, making me four feet tall and my limbs disproportionate to my body. It also affects how I walk. The staring is just part of my life.

"Except my friend was absolutely baffled. She asked, 'What the hell is that kid's problem?' I laughed, thinking she was just trying to be nice and make me feel better, but I realised by the look on her face that she genuinely didn't understand what the boy was staring at. I hesitated and said 'Well ... you know,' gesturing to myself.

"She frowned at me for a couple more microseconds, before suddenly looking incredibly embarrassed. 'OH, I'm sorry! I totally forgot!'

"Seeing her genuine revelation made me so happy, I just started laughing. It felt amazing to know that she 100% saw me as 'normal' and couldn't think why someone would find me strange. I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. She just felt embarrassed."

2) FindingAlaska wrote this:

"'All of my favourite memories involve you.'

"It was honestly an honour to think I'd been there with someone during their favourite moments."

3) ImNotFromThisWorld wrote this:

"'You have a cute laugh.'

"As a guy I found it odd to have a 'cute' laugh, but it was from my crush so it actually made me smile."

4) [Censored]_McDoogles wrote this:

"'When I first saw you, my mind went blank.'

"I'm never coming down from that one, boys.

"I had terrible self-esteem all throughout high school, and so I never really asked anyone out or dated.

"I did a study abroad in Korea and got the courage to ask for the KakaoTalk number of a girl I met on a university tour in Busan.

"We flirted over text.

"Me: 'I'm normally pretty shy. I don't normally do this.'

"Her: 'You shy? I'm the one who's shy! If you're shy, then how'd you manage to approach me?'

"Me: (Thinking: Be smooth for once in your f[**]kin' life.) 'Because I knew I'd regret not saying hi to you.' (F[**]kin' A, dude, good job.)

"Her: 'Yeah, I felt the same way. When I first saw you, my mind went blank.'"

The same Redditor also wrote this:

"'I feel like I must have saved the world in a past life ... so that I can know you now.'

"Her: "我想前世我拯救了世界

"Me: "很有意思!為什麼?

"Her: "所以现在才可能认识你

"Translation:

"Her: 'I feel like I must've saved the world in a past life.'

"Me: 'Interesting! Why's that?'

"Her: 'So that I can know you now.'

"I'm never gonna forget that.

"Edit: Two tidbits of context.

"Reincarnation belief tends to state that you're rewarded with a good lot in life if you did good deeds in the last one. She's implying that the only way that she'd be allowed to know me in this life is if she saved the world in the last, which is the cutest and most flattering thing anyone's ever said to me.

"I'm American, she's Vietnamese. But she doesn't speak English, and I don't speak Vietnamese, so our lingua-franca is Chinese. She uses simplified because she learned it in the mainland; I use traditional because I learned in Taiwan."

5) alltherobots wrote this:

"'I never worry about you two; you're doing just fine.'

"Said to a friend and me, by our history teacher, who was known for always complaining that the students weren't prepared for their futures, weren't taking their education seriously, were being coddled by sh[*]tty parenting, etc."

6) GenJonesMom wrote this:

"I was at an art opening and the artist came up to me and said, 'You're the most beautiful woman in this room.' He then went back to his friends and gave me nary a glance the rest of the time I was there.

"I was in my early 20s then. I'm 62 now and I still occasionally have random men tell me I'm beautiful. Because I am admittedly vain, comments about how I look does this old broad good."

35. "Rebels of Reddit, What is Your Best 'They Can't Stop Us All' Moment?"

1) punkwalrus wrote this:

"My high school graduation was in sweltering muggy heat during the area's largest cicada swarm in living memory. And because we were the children of upper middle-class snobs, senators, and lobbyists, they had a ton of guest speakers and theatrics that was six hours long in our stadium. So there we all were, bugs as large as an entire thumb landing on us every other minute, dying in the swamp heat of the DC area under full sun in cheap vinyl gowns.

"Erroneously, they gave us our diplomas three hours into it.

"During this disaster, the usual pranks were done, including a few beach balls (all popped and confiscated), bubbles (confiscated), and confetti (confiscated). The valedictorian, sensing the vibe of the crowd, gave a very, very short speech.

"'Fellow classmates, you didn't come here to hear me talk, so I won't. Happy graduation!' And he got off the stage. The principal, not a well-liked woman, forced him back on to give the speech.

"'It's hot up here,' the valedictorian said. 'And what are they gonna do? You already got your diplomas. Go home.'

"'WE GRADUATED!' someone shouted and tossed his cap.

"'YAAAY,' said a few more people, and tossed their caps.

"Parents, confused and sweltering in the sun, started to get up. That was the tipping point, and suddenly EVERYONE tossed their caps. Parents came down from the stands, grateful it ended, but our principal got on stage, and did that nervous aggressive laugh, 'OKAY. SIMMER DOWN NOW. WE STILL HAVE A WHILE TO GO AND SOME GUEST SPEAKERS ... OKAY ... IT'S NOT OVER ... RETURN TO YOUR SEATS ... OKAY, I'M SER—' and someone cut off her mic.

"No one could stop us. Even the teachers who tried to corral us back failed because we outnumbered them 40 to 1.

"We ended it on our terms."

2) Amazingj16 wrote, "In high school they passed a rule where you could no longer wear shorts to school. So first day of school we organized to have 150-plus students wear shorts, thinking they couldn't send us all home. Well, they did."

3) BaddestofUsernames wrote this:

"When I was eight, my mom went to the hospital with my dad so she could give birth to my final little brother. There's four of us, 11, eight, six, and three. Naturally, they get these ladies from church to watch us for the evening.

"Our parents had a relatively lax bedtime for us at the time, which was like 9:15. However, when 8 o'clock rolled around, the ladies decided it was time to put us to bed. We tried telling them that we had another hour before bed, but they wouldn't listen. They actually convinced us that our parents were coming home soon, so we should surprise them by pretending to be asleep.

"We all thought it was kind of lame but, being at the age we were, we fell for it. We go through our routine and get in bed about 8:10. Since we weren't used to going to bed at this hour, we were all lying in bed dejectedly, trying not to think about all the play we were missing out on (or at least, I was. We all slept in the same room, but it was dark).

"It was then as I was lying in bed, thinking about my life decisions, that I realized we'd been bamboozled. I shot up and said something along the lines of, 'Guys! They tricked us! Let's go get them!'

"I leapt out of bed, my siblings behind me, and we ran through the house making the obnoxious noises children our age made. The one lady was actually on the phone with dad, telling him we were asleep, when we erupted from the bedroom hollering joyously. Her face fell with disappointment, but she didn't try to force us back to bed.

"The bedtime rebellion."

4) CaptGenie wrote, "Back in high school, there was a really big budget cut for extracurricular activities in the entire district. Several sports teams and clubs were cancelled. A lot of students needed those for their college applications and things. Different protests happened at other schools, but our school did an every-period walk out. Halfway through every class, all the students would get up and leave (the whole school took part, 2500+ students). The same would happen in the next period. We did this for a month and a half. If you wanted to remove a big portion of what made school important, we would, too. The budget was reinstated shortly after. Other schools would pick a day to not show up. Others had teachers hold the clubs, regardless of budget or not. Good times."

5) natadilemma wrote this:

"I was in show choir, and we ended each school year with a big concert, performing our show for the last time. I was getting kind of emotional for my senior-year show, as it was the last time I'd ever be in show choir.

"Well, the week before the show, a bunch of us were getting half-off appetizers at Applebee's (a regular hangout for post-rehearsal cheap treats). The conversation shifted over to _Super Troopers_ , and we started thinking of hilarious moments in our show where we could Meow instead of sing the words ... like which soloists could sneak it in, where could we all sing it together, etc.

"Sunday show arrives. The set started, I was tearing up already, and our soloist starts out ... 'a dream is a wish your heart MEOWS.'

"This is what happened by the end of our set: <https://tinyurl.com/r322go4>.

"It was the most fun ever. It was totally worth our choreographer throwing a fit and threatening not to work with us again, our band director getting all high and mighty that it wasn't appropriate, and our choir director's wife coming to class the next day to yell at us for about 10 minutes."

8d-M-b8 commented, "That was ameowzing."

6) pm_me_your_Navicula wrote this:

"While I was living in Chicago, some people blocked off a bridge for filming _The Dark Knight_ Batman movie. A crowd started forming, mostly from people who need to cross the bridge. We are all on foot, going around is a big hassle, and city folks don't like when streets get blocked.

"Finally, some guy shouts, 'They can't stop us all!' and on cue, we all hopped the barriers and poured into the movie set. Christopher Nolan and all the security can't stop grumpy city pedestrians from going where they want."

5thH0rseman commented, "Once again, Gotham City is the most important character."

7) someones_kid100 wrote this:

"This was when I was in 8th grade.

"My school has a really strict dress code + a uniform but one day they went too far: They said WHITE SOCKS ONLY. We decided to get the two grades above us and below us to wear black socks that day — we had over 400 people wearing black socks for a week straight until the school decided to remove the rule."

36. "Other Than 'My Cat Ate My Last Boyfriend,' What Other Sassy Comebacks will Shut Everyone Up When They Keep Asking About My Singlehood at Age 30 or More?"

1) magnetic_couch wrote, "Say, 'Look, I'm flattered but I just don't think it'll work between us,' to anybody who asks."

2) -PlainJaneJones- wrote, "Just lucky, I guess."

3) Sand_Dargon wrote, "The cops haven't found my last one, so I am technically not single yet."

4) lilacsweetener wrote, "How many men do you ask this?"

5) maddie_murphs wrote, "It's easier to file taxes alone."

6) westonrock wrote this:

"I just react to a statement or question they didn't ask, generally about what I obsess over: my business. Cause to me my business is my boyfriend. "Are you seeing anyone?" "Oh you should see our new menu designs. They're so beautiful and our cake sales are up 8% just since launching them!" Then drone on about numbers.

"I also told my business partner to do the same thing when she sees her dad and step-mom because they never ask about business stuff, which bums her out. I told her just to answer any question or even a statement they make with business boasts."

7) Popular_Loner20K wrote, "I say, 'It's because I am a dominant person and some men just can't hang.'"

8) lulucatherine wrote, "I say, 'I just can't deal with the whole one-man thing.'"

9) justbirds wrote, "I say, 'I'm going to live to 100, so it's a bit early, don't you think?'"

37. "What is Something You did Weird as a Kid?"

1) galacticdragonlord wrote, "I talked to the family vacuum cleaner. I was around seven, so I knew it was inanimate, but I still did. After it died, I tried to start up conversations with the new one, but the spark wasn't there."

2) ilikebass70 wrote, "I was obsessed with car hubcaps for some reason."

3) RomanPopokov100 wrote, "Dancing on a school desk without my pants on."

4) This_ismajortom wrote, "I used to try and save my goldfish from drowning. I was around three."

5) SimplyLucyMusic wrote, "I used to make myself believe that I was a spy on a secret mission. So whenever I had the chance, I spied on people: parents, neighbors, siblings, friends. Just for the sake of it and the thrill of not getting caught."

6) peaches13185 wrote, "Everything, apparently. I thought other kids were so weird. Turns out I was the weird one. But, let's see: I refused to wear jeans. I hated how they felt. I corrected everyone's grammar for a while, both spoken and written. I wore pants and long sleeves all year round. I would take food (sandwiches, pizza, PopTarts) apart and eat each 'ingredient' separately. I read everything I could find about cats. I know there's more, but that's all I can think of now."

7) ayakali wrote, "When I was around seven or eight years old, I had a best friend who was just a large piece of cardboard. I put him in my pajamas and ate dinner with him. I knew it wasn't real, but it felt like a real friend. (Don't worry, I also had living human friends)."

8) StevenStarkem wrote, "I was so into Dragon Ball Z that I wore a fake raccoon tail clipped to the back loop of my jeans to make it look like I had a tail."

38. "What was Your 'How Didn't They Notice?' Moment?"

1) tj_w wrote, "When I was about 13, I shaved my little brother's eyebrow off. I don't know why. I panicked and drew it back on with a marker with little hope that I would get away with it and avoid my mom's anger. Somehow I got through the first day, then the first week, every day getting ready for school and re-drawing his eyebrow on with a marker to hide it from my mom. After a couple weeks, it had largely grown back, and I realized that by some miracle I got away with it. Years later I came clean to my mom and she still refuses to believe that she didn't notice."

Lifestyle_Choices commented, "My sister went to have a bath one night and shaved both her eyebrows off with my grandad's razor that he left in there. When she came out, it was noticed immediately, and she blamed me even though she entered with eyebrows and came out without them."

JustJenR commented, "My sister got chewing gum stuck in her hair and I had to cut it out. It left her with a pretty big bald patch right on the top of her head. We couldn't tell Mom because she'd banned us from chewing gum (in case it got stuck in our hair). So every morning we styled her hair into a ponytail and carefully covered the patch. Which then started growing in stubbornly sticking up like a unicorn horn and we had to keep flattening it. It was agggges [ages] until it finally blended in with her normal hair. Mom never noticed."

2) healthycopingmech wrote this:

"I was playing hide and seek at a friend's with her younger nieces. I was a teenager and not super committed to playing games with a couple of eight-year-olds, and as a joke I put myself in a corner between a wall and a bookshelf, picked up a pillow off the bed, and held it in front of my face. I was immediately visible once you cleared the doorway — I'm not a small person, and from the chest down I was just a person standing, completely unobstructed.

"The kids came through, looked right at me, and kept searching with growing confusion. The friend, my age, came in behind them thinking I'd gotten somewhere in the closet, and I had to actually wave to catch her attention. Her dad even came through to join the hunt, and I had to actually clear my throat to get him to notice me. Nobody was able to spot me on their own. I was just standing in plain sight holding a pillow in front of my face, but nobody noticed.

"Once everybody figured it out, they were in hysterics — no one believed I'd been just standing there the entire time, they were certain that I had been hiding elsewhere in the house and then got caught after I'd moved. Nope. Y'all just can't see!"

sunshineandcloudyday commented, "It has something to do with expectations and eye contact. They weren't expecting you to be easily found and they couldn't see your eyes so their brains didn't register your shape."

CheesyfaceChase commented:

"Cue me and the boys playing Hide and Seek Senior Year.

"It's nighttime. Dark. It had previously rained. The only light is from streetlights and my friend's garage.

"As Friend A counts to 20 in the garage, we all scatter around the outside of his house and a bit further to some other houses.

"I decide to hide not ten feet away, in the shadow of an AC unit right outside the garage. I was wearing full black, and I pulled my hood down to cover my entire face. I was in a crouched fetal position.

"I heard Friend A walk past me about five times, from both directions. I peeked once and he even glanced directly my way. I was in plain sight. I felt like a ninja."

Karljohnellis commented, "We used to play this because there was a big grass area in the centre of the houses, I always changed to dark blue clothing before we played cause I'd read in a book how ninjas wore dark blue not black, I always won and stopped being asked to play."

3) Poster_Nutbag wrote this:

"My hair used to be extremely long. Like all the way down my back.

"On a whim, I decided to cut off most of it, and rock a rather short haircut. I walked around my parents' place for over an hour before they actually noticed."

360nohonk commented, "But how? We had a friend who had his hair mid-back length, until he cut it short and dyed it neon green overnight. He more or less went invisible for a week because everyone kept looking for the old hair, you literally had people asking where he was while he was standing in front of them."

Wulfsilvermane commented, "Change blindness is a thing. Once you get used to something, you are less likely to notice changes."

Bentnotbroken96 wrote, "I shaved off my beard once. Took my wife a week to notice. Took my mother-in-law 30 seconds."

4) Thunderflamequeen wrote this:

"My boyfriend and I initially started dating in high school. Our friend group was a bunch of guys and me, and I was relatively new to the group, and worried I'd become 'his girlfriend' if we went public too quickly, so we kept it quiet. We later stopped caring, but it was too far in to make an announcement without seeming weird, so we decided to just admit everything if anyone ever asked, but not bring it up ourselves.

"Well, we weren't the couple who was all over each other in public, but we were fairly affectionate, always sitting next to each other, talking somewhat privately, playfully poking and all that. We would also hold hands on our way out of school, when we didn't see anyone around. That last one is what nearly caused problems the most. Regularly someone would come up behind us and say hi, and we'd quickly drop our hands. They never seemed to notice, shockingly. (Our friends were really oblivious.) We figured that they were probably noticing, but not saying anything.

"Until one day. Somehow a conversation arose about how some people are closer in our group than others. Both of our names are mentioned, and they all say that we seem like close friends. Somehow they all noticed we were close but never put two and two together. I know this because of the shock they experienced when they finally properly found out."

ArushiSrivastava commented:

"Ha ha ha ... this sounds so familiar! My boyfriend and I were really close friends before we started dating. While we were still friends, half the people around thought we were dating, so when we actually started dating, we didn't see a need to announce it to everyone. We figured since people already assumed we were in a relationship, so there wasn't any need for an official announcement. I was surprised two years down, when having a conversation with a friend, and he had no clue that we had been dating for so long. Guess a lot of the people thought we were very close friends.

"We are married now for 10 years this month. And we are still good friends!"

39. "What's that Dumb Thing You Did Years Ago that You Can't Stop Thinking About?"

1) Antler_X wrote this:

"Guy: 'I'm colourblind.'

"Me: 'Oh, that's cool.'"

darrelmarch commented, "Hey, maybe saying that it was cool made him feel good inside."

darrelmarch added, "I'm blind in my left eye, which makes it look like a lazy eye, half-closed eyelid. I was made fun of all the time as a kid. One day a girl looks at me and says hi and smiles and says are you giving me the eye? I said, 'What! No, I'm blind in my left eye,' and she said, 'It's sexy' and smiled again, and walked away. It made my year. I kinda overcame insecurity because one person said something positive to me. So you saying that probably gave him some positive feeling."

2) FearlessShock wrote this:

"I followed a girl to college. She broke up with me the summer before we left for school.

"Side note: I love it here, though, so it's all good now."

3) OmarGuard wrote this:

"About ten years ago I was strolling along eating lunch. I had half an egg sandwich in one hand, and the empty plastic shell in the other.

"I walked past a rubbish bin and turfed my sandwich. I stood there for a moment looking at the rubbish in my hand, wondering how I could've been so stupid. Two cute girls sitting on a bench saw what I'd done and burst out laughing.

"It was so brutal. I must have replayed that f[**]king incident a thousand times in my head."

darrelmarch commented, "You know you gotta look back and laugh about it. Everyone has done that at least once in their life. And you never saw those girls again, so who cares? You gave them a chance to laugh and made their day."

Fantastic-Mrs.-Fox commented, "Hopefully they were laughing with them or out of genuine amusement. That's why I would be laughing, anyways, just because I know I've been there before and the kind of heartbreak that accidentally throwing away a sandwich can bring about."

cookedcatfish commented:

"Don't worry, man.

"I'd laugh at you as well."

Jiyuishi commented, "Ha! I went to Disneyland Paris when I was about 12 and bought lemon-flavoured ice cream that I hadn't had in a long time but fondly remembered. I soon had to meet up with friends and so halfway to the door before even trying my tasty nostalgic treat I looked at my watch and ... splat. Got so embarrassed I marched out without looking around and threw the empty cone in the bin."

4) Hobo-Knife wrote this:

"This memory pops up every so often when I'm trying to get to sleep, you know the drill.

"This happened in high school. After solving a math problem on an overhead projector, I caught my foot on the power cord that was suspended just an inch or so above the ground. 'No bigs,' I thought as I tried to just step over it with my other foot. Nope, the other foot caught it, too, and I face-planted HARD. As the pain, adrenaline, and embarrassment just started to set in, I heard the loudest crash. The overhead projector fell just after me and was completely obliterated.

"The class had a good laugh, I uncontrollably blurted out 'F[**]K ME', my poor teacher was stifling his anger partly for my swearing and partly as this was the late 90s and the few overheads left from the 80s were in short supply and mostly all spoken for. He would likely be getting an earful over it.

"The teacher then had the class take masking tape and outline where I and the overhead fell like some _Law & Order_ crime scene from a rejected episode. This was a shared classroom so other classes came in and had no context. Things got added to it like 'academic victim.' It stayed there for the rest of the year and even ended up taking up a quarter page in the yearbook."

40. "What's the Most Horrifying Sound You've Ever Heard?" (Don't worry — these David Bruce-selected stories have happy endings.)

1) tandyman wrote, "One day when I was probably seven or eight, I had just woken up and was still lying in bed enjoying the sounds of the birds outside, when all of the sudden I hear my mother's blood-curdling scream from across the house. I just sat there in absolute terror and was only able to conjure up enough courage to call out for her once, and not very loudly. I got out of bed and cautiously snuck over to her room, hoping I wouldn't find her murdered or something, and there she was, freaking out about a dead mouse my little brother thought was a toy and had been waving in her face to wake her up. The cat brought her a gift in the middle of the night and my little brother ended up being the one to find it ... in her bed. The story now is hilarious, but the scream that came out of my mother that morning is still hands down the scariest thing I've ever heard."

2) Suuperdad wrote this:

"Feet shuffling around and literally no other sound.

"It happened when my baby was pulled out of my wife's womb dead silent and arm dripping over the doctor's hand who pulled him out — about one minute after my wife flatlined in the operating room.

"In about 30 minutes the best day of my life changed to the worst day of my life, and me in pure stupor wondering how I got here.

"Then a few minutes later, my kid finally let out a truly primal screech — a beautiful alien scream from the corner of the room where five people hovered over him. And almost immediately after that, my wife's heart monitor blipped and she also was returned back to me.

"That was our first child, and we now have three healthy boys together. What a rollercoaster that day was. Thirteen years later, just typing it down still brings tears to my eyes."

3) Harem_Snackpack wrote this:

"My phone ringing at 4 am, caller ID displaying my mother's name.

"She forgot about time zones and was just calling me to let me know she made it to her holiday destination safely."
Chapter 3: Questions 41-60

41. "Off the Top of Your Head, Which Happy Memory You Can Remember Right Now?"

1) knocknareed wrote, "I stood in the backyard in October, eight years old, and lifted my arms, imagining I was magic; the wind arrived in a rush and sent all the leaves clattering up around me. I knew I hadn't done it, but it felt like I had."

2) drunkenknitter wrote, "Most recent one: This morning my husband says, 'There's a lot of dust under there,' and I said, 'Under where?' And he replies, 'I just made you say underwear,' and cracked up like he was so proud of himself. I'm still smiling about what a doof [doofus, or dummy] he is."

3) Musicalfrost wrote, "Going on long drives for no reason with my amazing family, joking and laughing and roasting [comically insulting] each other to oblivion and back."

4) ItsNotAphaseMum wrote, "My parents and I used to go fishing a lot and I remember laughing so hard when my mum fell in the water, then my dad pushed me and jumped after us so my mum wouldn't be the only one getting wet, it shows how fun but caring my family is."

5) Askaram wrote, "When I was around eight or nine, my dad used to take me on some bicycle tours. Basically we would ride our bikes, mostly into the forest. I still almost remember them all. On a fairly hot day, we stopped by a nearby fountain. I soaked my tiny hands in the cold water all while my dad sat down and just took a swig of his water bottle. I don't know why, but it makes me smile whenever I think about it."

6) queenpotat0 wrote, "Walking to and from the library near my parents' place in the summers. My grandma used to walk with me and my brother there all the time as kids. The walk is about 10 minutes and most of it hot, as there is little shade. The last block is up a slight hill in the shade, alongside an apartment building and its pool, which I never remember seeing anyone in. And then across the street, into the sun once more, and finally into the coolness of the library. That library hasn't changed much in 20+ years and I'm glad for it. I feel like how the character Francie in the novel _A Tree Grows in Brooklyn_ feels about her Williamsburg library, ha ha."

42. "Would You Enjoy Having a Clingy Fluffy Affectionate Cat as Your Pet?"

1) Soggy-Job wrote this:

"I currently own two clingy cats. One likes to be held like a human baby and will literally jump into my arms to get what she wants. The other goes into full panic mode as I get ready to go to work and does everything in his power to stop that from happening. They both sleep with or on or under me at night. One will be little spoon and lay her head on my bottom arm while my top arm hugs her. She purrs herself to sleep like that.

"I wouldn't change it for anything."

Valentines450140 commented, "I'm getting a cat soon. I'm beyond excited."

Soggy-Job replied, "Excitement is good! But make sure you respect your cat. They will tell you what they do and do not like, and it is your job to make sure you listen to what she's saying. For example, I have the one cat who loves being picked up and held, but the other one is very afraid of it, and I never force it. He's also very unhappy when I give him big pats anywhere near his backside, but he will come up to me and beg me to massage his ears. Listening to your cat is the best way for you to grow a healthy and loving relationship with it. It will know that it can trust you."

Valentines450140 commented:

"I'm a cat whisperer, don't worry. My old cat used to sleep under my arm every night. :D [:D = Happy]

"One night she wasn't feeling well so she was lying on my head (heads are warmer) but this spot wasn't normally allowed. So I woke up with my cat peeing all over my head. Turns out she had a UTI [Urinary Tract Infection]. Best way to start your day for sureee."

Scarreddragon28 commented:

"My cat Murny was a stray we found outside a convenience store in January, and I think that's why he hates being cold. He learned quickly it was warm under the blankets, and he slept with me from then on. When we found our second cat as a kitten, she learned from him to crawl under the blankets, too, so I'd often have two cats to snuggle with, or she'd go sleep with my husband sometimes. Once she got bigger, when I woke up in the mornings, I'd have to feel their tails just to see which cat was which.

"She liked to be held like a baby, too, and would put a paw on each of my cheeks and drag my face to her nose for a snuggle!"

2) fasseth wrote this:

"Just adopted my first cat ever this week. So far he's surprisingly clingy, an absolute sweetheart, and he makes little noises at me when he thinks I'm not giving him enough attention. He watches me do everything, waits outside the bathroom door for me, and always sleeps in my bed with me.

"The shelter we adopted him from said his old family abandoned him outside when they moved. He's a six-year-old cat, so he's had trouble getting adopted (most people want to adopt only a cat that's a kitten still or under three years old). I thought he would take a while to warm up to me and my apartment, but he's been affectionate and comfortable since the day I brought him home.

"So far the only downside is that if I shut my bedroom door, he immediately runs to my door and yells at me until I let him in, only to leave again 30 seconds later. I think he just likes knowing where I am at all times, lol.

"If I didn't have overbearing roommates that made me want to shut my door all the time, this wouldn't be a problem, so it isn't his fault. :(

"Overall he's a little angel and I wouldn't give him up for anything. He also makes stupid sounds when he sleeps. 10/10 cat!"

3) bluoopdup wrote this:

"I had one of those once. She was abandoned way too young and had possibly suffered some brain damage because I have never met a cat with less control over its motor skills. That idea of cats being athletic and graceful ... not this cat. The idea of cats being reserved and judging you from afar ... definitely not this cat. More than once I would wake up from a nap on the couch and find this cat blocking my airways with her butt. Sometimes she would just curl up directly on my face. When she wanted to cuddle — which was all the time — she would keep tossing and turning on top of me for minutes and purring so loudly and being almost frantic. I have no doubt that if she could, she would've crawled into my ribcage and curled up next to my heart. She was desperate for safety and comfort all the time and she loved everybody madly the minute she met them. She would lick my face until my cheek was red and raw. When she finally did calm down, she would sleep in my arms and she loved it when she got squeezed. The tighter my grip on her, the easier she fell asleep and the frantic desperation chilled out. Very, very sweet cat. Very, very stupid and very, very annoying but I still loved her. It wasn't her fault that she was a total mess.

"We ended up having to move. Life plans completely flipped on their head and we couldn't find an apartment where we were allowed to have pets, so we rehomed her with a bunch of ridiculously sweet girls who lived in a collective housing situation. We knew our chaotic good kitty would get lots of love from these girls and that it was good for her to have plenty of moms who could satisfy her need for love and comfort. Happy ending for that little brain-damaged kitten."

4) dansevise63 wrote, "There's nothing like having a cat as a pet. So independent, so full of character! My darling old girl passed away a few years ago at 19 years of age. We had her since I was a little kid. Every time dad would come home from work, he'd drive into the driveway and she would come running out meowing and stand in the middle of the driveway so he couldn't drive any further. He'd stop the car and open his door, and she would try to jump in but couldn't because of her little bandy legs and being old and all. So he'd pick her up and put her in his lap and he'd drive into the garage, while she was sitting there purring. Dad buried her in the backyard and planted a new little plant on her grave. We miss her a lot. Dad has got another kitty now. She is the one I brought home when she was a kitten without asking him because I knew he'd say no. He went ballistic when I brought her home but after an hour was smitten. It's been ten years, and my brother and I have left home, so she is his princess now. I miss having a cat — my boyfriend has a lot of dogs so it wouldn't fly. But dad's princess kitty gets a lot of love when I visit."

5) Applebottomgenes75 wrote, "We just rescued a Ragdoll cat. She's the clingiest, most affectionate brat cat I've ever had. She HAS to be within a yard of me at all times, demands affection constantly, and never stops chattering. The only time she's away from us is when she goes off to sleep in her mystery spot that I've never been able to find. She has a huge personality and an obvious sense of humour. She also is an utter arsehole. If you like living with a needy, clingy, entitled, selfish, fussy, judgemental toddler — get a Ragdoll cat. We absolutely adore her and she bloody knows it. Also, the FLUFFIEST toes!"

43. "What was the Weirdest Thing to Happen to You While Riding Public Transport?"

1) RamsesthePidgeon wrote this:

"San Francisco (and its surrounding area) is serviced by railcar-cum-subway known as the BART; the Bay Area Rapid Transit system. While a nominally useful fixture, this mode of transportation suffers from the fact that it evidently intersects several different parallel dimensions, becoming a kind of attraction point for all of the strangeness and insanity that the multiverse can offer. Someone riding the BART might encounter a homeless fellow who claims to have invented Bill Gates (yes, Bill Gates the person), or they could find themselves watching three teenagers breakdance their way across the ceiling.

"Both of those have happened to me, incidentally... but the funniest moment that I had with a BART-riding stranger occurred when I found myself trying to interact with an elderly Chinese woman.

"The individual in question had come hobbling into the car with a large backpack held in front of her. It was clear that she was trying to find a seat for herself, and the vacant spot next to me was the only easily accessible one. After shuffling over and sitting down, the woman went through a semi-comical series of pantomimes with me as we tried to figure out where she could put her belongings ... and although neither of us spoke the other's language, the process helped us develop an odd sort of in-the-moment camaraderie. That warmth remained as the train started moving, which is when an impromptu lesson of sorts began.

"My new friend nudged my arm and pointed to a seemingly random person. 'Chicken,' she said.

"'Chicken?' I repeated.

"'Chicken!' the woman repeated. 'Guh guh guh!'

"(I have since learned that 'Guh!' is what chickens say in China.)

"I squinted at the person who was allegedly the embodiment of a fowl. She was a young woman with her hair in a tight ponytail, wearing a pantsuit that suggested a career in some variety of cubicle-based environment. Nothing about her screamed 'chicken,' but I supposed that she might have been hiding feathers beneath her clothes.

"Another nudge pulled me from my thoughts. 'Chicken,' my companion said again, pointing to someone new.

"This process continued for a while, and I eventually discovered a pattern: People who were well-kempt, apparently polite, and keeping to themselves were 'chickens.' It was a strange sort of compliment, but certainly not the worst that I'd heard (especially considering that I've personally been referred to as a bird).

"The train soon came to a halt at another stop, and passengers went through the dance of switching places with new arrivals, entering and exiting as their commutes dictated. It was then that a young man in worn-out clothes came storming into view, muttering to himself about something which was clearly aggravating him. Then, as the car's doors started to close, this fellow appeared to be suddenly struck by an unpleasant realization.

"'F[**]k!' the guy shouted. 'No, ugh, f[**]k!' He flailed with his arms, blocking the doors (and causing an alarm to sound in the process), then made a big show of prying them apart. 'F[**]k! Hey, where the f[**]k are you? Bitch! F[**]k! What the f[**]k! What the f[**]k!'

"As quickly as he had appeared, the fellow departed. Everyone in the train looked relieved.

"The woman next to me leaned in close. 'Not chicken.'

"Try though I did, I couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud.

"TL;DR: In which I am informed of the virtues of the chicken."

2) Briglin wrote, "On a Berlin bus about 30 years ago. An old gentleman spoke good English and was very helpful. He asked us where we were from. Cardiff, we said (we were at the University). His eyes lit up. 'Oh, Cardiff. I've been to Cardiff, 1944, Luftwaffe POW.'"

3) SFBushPig wrote, "San Francisco, bus going through Chinatown, white guy in the long coat, flashes his dick to the older Chinese ladies. They attacked him and beat him up with Bok Choy, the only weapon they had. It was several years ago, even made the news."

44. "Photographers of Reddit: What is the Most Outrageous Photo Shoot Request You have Received?"

1) LegendofZoldo wrote, "I had a client ask me to Photoshop his head onto another guy's body because he liked the shirt the other guy was wearing more than his own. I actually did it because it was hilarious and he paid me for it."

2) afdlips wrote, "There was this flamboyant musician client I had that wanted to generate a buzz. I was pretty early in my career so it didn't sound crazy at the time, but he hired me to follow him around a local outdoor shopping mall pretending to be paparazzi. It was actually kinda fun shouting fake interview questions at him while he 'ignored' me. Lots of people fell for it and followed us around. Looking back on it, it was the dumbest gig I've ever had."

HalfbakedZuchinni commented, "Sounds funny and seems harmless honestly."

WitnessMeIRL gave an example of a question to yell at the celebrity, "Rumors have been swirling that you wear diapers. Care to confirm?"

45. "Redditors with Real-Life 'Butterfly Effect' Stories, What Happened and What was the Series of Events and Outcomes?"

1) TheDevilsAdvokaat wrote this:

"About 20 years ago I was watching a TV show about a guy in Australia who feeds the homeless. At the end they interviewed a few of the homeless who all said he was great, and their names flashed up on the bottom of the screen.

"One of the guys had the same name as my brother, who I hadn't seen for about 15 years. I looked at the screen, squinted ... and there under the dirt and grime was my brother, who was an addict and had lost touch with us years ago.

"I called the TV program and got the name of the feeder guy, he contacted my brother and passed on my phone number. A couple of days later I got a call and told him he could come live with me. And he did.

"He moved in at my place, then the next morning went up the road to get a newspaper to look for a job (this was about 2000). Came back and he'd found someone advertising for English teachers in China. He asked me what I thought ... I said, 'What have you got to lose?'

"So off he went. And loved it. Kept telling me to go, too, so six months later, I quit my job, sold my car, moved everything I wanted to keep over to my older brother's place ... and left for China.

"I was there for 18 years. I met a girl, got married, bought an apartment, had two kids. Then the Hong Kong troubles came, and I moved back to Australia a few months ago.

"And it all started from watching a YV show and seeing a name I knew."

TheDevilsAdvokaat added:

"My brother came back, too. When we needed to renew our visas (each year, or in some cases each three months), we had to go to Hong Kong.

"When the Hong Kong troubles started, we decided maybe it was time to go back."

2) Knowone_Knows wrote this:

"I ran out of smokes late at night, went to the gas station at 3am to grab a pack, which led to a friendship that has lasted two decades now.

"My apartment was the party place. My roommate was a cook, and after his shift all the cooks would come over and bring food and beer and we would hang out and play Xbox and drink and smoke and smoke. One guy was a Russian dude; he was cool, always polite, always had great stories, always the last to leave.

"This particular night in a cold-as-f[**]k January in the Midwest was the same as every other for me. The Russian dude had been coming over after shift for weeks at this point. All the cooks hung out, slowly everyone went on home, and he was again the last to leave. I found that I had run out of smokes, decided to hit up the gas station across the street. As I walked out into the freezing night, I saw the Russian dude's car in the back of my parking lot. I went over and saw him sleeping in the driver's seat. I knocked on the window and woke him up, asked what he was up to.

"He informed me that several weeks prior, he had been kicked out of his host family's house because his student visa expired, and he was now living in his car. He had an alarm set to wake him up every half hour so he could run his car heater for a bit so as not to freeze to death. I told him to get his [*]ss in the house and he could sleep on the couch as long as he needed.

"He never left. He basically moved in at that point, used his under-the-table cash job to help buy groceries and pay rent. He became my very best friend in the whole world. He got married, became a legit citizen, and I am now godfather to his son.

"I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if I had not gone to buy a pack of smokes that night."

tatzesOtherAccount commented:

"Bruh, I can't imagine what his life would have been like if you had not gone to buy a pack of smokes that night.

"Guess he might have ended up as just another statistic."

CordeliaGrace commented, "This is my favorite. I love you and your Russian friend so much."

3) BanJon wrote, "I was invited to hang out with an acquaintance who I barely knew freshmen year of high school. I wasn't sure if I should go but decided to try it out. We had so much fun she became my best friend and it led to a regular meet ups and we both started bringing in more friends and just got bigger every month with almost thirty people who got together every weekend by senior year. Many of us are still good friends and our lives, spouses, and careers have all been shaped by this group that I honestly don't think would have formed if I hadn't been invited that night freshmen year."

4) Lachwen wrote this:

"After high school, I attended a community college for a few years. I'm rather introverted and am not good at making new friends, so for most of my first term I basically didn't interact with anyone.

"I had a two-hour break between two of my classes, so I started hanging out in the cafeteria because it had chairs and food. One day I saw a guy rocking a blue fedora (this was before the fedora-wearing neckbeard stereotype really became a thing, and also this particular guy is not and never has been a neckbeard in any way) and I complimented him on it. We chatted a little bit and he invited me to join him and his friends who also spent their free time hanging out in the cafeteria.

"Fedora Guy and I dated for a little while, but ultimately we weren't a good fit long-term, though we have remained good friends. The big thing, though, was that he introduced me to an internet discussion forum he was part of. I joined that forum and became a very active member in that community, and I made a lot of friends through there.

"Several years later, I was feeling pretty trapped in where I was in life, working a retail job and barely making ends meet, with no resources to go back to school and no marketable skills to look for other work. A couple from the forums (who lived a good 600 miles from me) offered to let me move in with them and they'd support me while I essentially tried to restart my life. I took them up on their offer, moved from Oregon to California, met a guy I really hit it off with, and am now married and working a job that gives me a great deal of satisfaction.

"All because I said, 'Dude, I like your hat' to a stranger in the cafeteria 15 years ago."

5) rhett342 wrote this:

"I was supposed to go to a U2 concert with this girl I was friends with, her boyfriend, and a couple other people. I had a knack for getting good seats at shows, so it was up to me to get tickets. She went nuts and accused me of trying to break into her house to clean her carpets while she was in Croatia so I kept the tickets (they hadn't paid me yet) because I still wanted to go but not with them because they were really good seats. I went to a street fair in town a couple of weeks later and ran into a girl I was friends with from high school who loved U2. I sold her a ticket and she asked if she could bring a friend, which just made me think 'woohoo, I'm selling another one of these really pricey tickets!' The girls show up at my place day of show and her friend smiles as she is walking in. I saw the smile and knew that was it, I'm going to be spending the rest of my life chasing that smile.

"Well, over 20 years, a couple of kids and dogs later, and as soon as I finish typing this, I'm headed to bed to snuggle up next to her.

"Tl:Dr I met my wife because one of my friends went nuts and accused me of trying to clean her carpets while she was in Croatia."

6) Tall_Mickey wrote this:

"This woman I know was living with some guy and one night, years ago, they were watching a local public access TV show on cable. She said to her squeeze, 'This is so sh[*]tty; WE could do better.' She had a video background, so they did. They ran a weekly show for years with a volunteer crew, with the woman as producer. Relationships were formed among the volunteers, resulting in the birth of at least one child and a couple of marriages. One of them was mine; I came on as a volunteer toward the end — and ended up marrying the woman who was producing.

"The show was science fiction fan-based, and a bunch of them got together to found a convention for sf fanzine publishers. Thirty-five years later, it's still sustaining itself as a con, moving from city to city every year.

"All because my wife saw a bad public access TV show and made a decision."

7) JustAFanPassingHere wrote, "Fifth or sixth grade, I tried to confess to my crush by gifting him a strawberry muffin, I left it in his desk and my plan was to confess I was the one giving the muffin, but he ended up having an allergic reaction that caused him to be taken away by an ambulance; this caused me to never confess. Fast forward to junior year, we were starting to study the bases of a research project to help with our thesis the following year. His original project partner ended up moving to another part of the country and had to switch schools, so he joined my group, at this point I was over the crush, but it was nice having him as a friend, then one day that we were working on the project. I don't remember exactly how, but we brought out the topic that we should share a secret with each other to become closer friends, I told him about the muffin and he came out of the closet to me, a couple of week later he did it at the school, this caused us to become basically joined by the hip, and he introduced me to his family, and still unknown to me, introduced me to my future boyfriend, his older brother — we have been dating for over two years now."

46. "What's Your Story that Sounds Like a Lie, But is 100% True?"

1) stoic_minotaur wrote this:

"Many years ago I was jumped by three guys after coming out of a bar. Somehow I was the only one standing at the end of the 'fight'.

"It was entirely a fluke and I don't even really remember how it happened because it was over in a flash. I think one of them may have accidentally punched the other and I must have just got exceptionally lucky with my desperate swings. I suspect one of them may have even slipped on some ice and hit his head on the way down.

"An acquaintance saw it happen from down the street and she told the rest of my friends that I was some kind of MMA ninja, but it was truly just luck. For years I had this reputation as some kind of bad[*]ss fighter, based solely on a six-second interaction with three drunken idiots on a slippery sidewalk."

/fR1dj asked, "Did you get hurt at all, even slightly?"

stoic_minotaur answered:

"Not a scratch, besides swollen knuckles from the one punch I threw that did land."

2) Podnerdofficeboy wrote this:

"I stole a couple oranges from Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"In all fairness, they weren't really his oranges. I was 10 years old and on a tour of the state house in California while Arnold was Governor. The tour guide pointed out the oranges trees outside of his office and called them 'the governor's oranges'. So, naturally, I took a couple. Didn't tell anyone until we got home. My uncle and I ate the governor's oranges."

3) WtotheSLAM wrote, "I donated sperm to this couple because the husband was infertile. After the baby was born, she divorced him and started dating me and I immediately got her pregnant again. Now we have two kids."

47. "What are Some Seemingly 'Mundane' Things / Experiences That You Won't Forget Anytime Soon?"

1) factor_of_X wrote, "There is a walk-up Dairy Queen where I live that sells only ice cream. I love seeing people in line in the summer as I drive home from work. Everyone is in casual summer attire as they wait patiently for ice cream — there is always a dog with someone. It's so wholesome."

2) naimzzzzz wrote, "Having a girls' night after a couple months. It was nice."

Mackabeep commented:

"We did an entire girls' weekend last week. Rented a three-bedroom hotel suite with a full kitchen. We did our nails, made homemade face and hand scrubs, and had mimosas while sitting in the hot tub.

"After that we went shopping for antiques, thrifts, and chocolate and did a wine tasting. We baked salmon and squash for dinner the first night and went to a fancy winery restaurant the second. Vegetarian flatbread pizza and vegetable sides were shared. Then we were back at the hotel drinking wine and gabbing and giggling for hours.

"It was just SO NICE to enjoy stereotypical 'girl' stuff without judgement."

PMMeYour_Cat_Pics commented, "This sounds like heaven. Can I come next time?"

3) forensicgirla wrote this:

"The smell of baking bread, the smell of hot coffee, the everyday differences in the sunrise.

"I grew up in a very unstable home. Sometimes I run out of something (toilet paper, dish soap, milk) and realise I have spares in the closet or that I can easily go to the store for a replacement. I don't need to have anxiety about overdrafting my accounts, getting yelled at, or driving 40 minutes to acquire those necessities. It's honestly the best feeling, comfort."

help-im-interacting commented, "I second this! My husband can't stand how appreciative I am over the simple things, but that's because he doesn't know what it's like to not have the basics! The fact I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, and have the ability to pay the bills is the greatest!"

snowdensmom wrote, "I love having my 'extra supply' closet. I always have soap, toothpaste, shower gels, feminine items, cat litter. Noticed that it can save you money if you buy more than you need when these things on discount. It makes me feel like a squirrel. I love it."

4) –desertrat wrote, "A few years ago I ordered my family's entire Christmas on Amazon. We got packages everyday all month long. While dropping my kids off at school, I saw the same UPS driver down the block. As we passed each other, I rolled down my window and he handed me my packages as we both laughed about it. It felt like a very 'Mr McFeely' moment from _Mister Rogers_."

5) EnigmaticOSoul wrote, "The feeling you get after having a talk with someone you respect and like."

48. "People Who are Happy Every Day, What Gets You Through Life?"

1) GloominOnions wrote, "Enjoying the little victories throughout the day. Coffee shop made a good cup this morning? Win. Train was on time? Win. Got a 'good job' from my boss? Win. A good day is an aggregate of experiences throughout. Even if I don't have a good day, so what? Tomorrow might be better. A handful of good days make a good week, and so on. Treating people well, enjoying the little things, and training myself over time to not have thoughts around negativity, or at least realize it, address it, and move on. Those factors allow me to enjoy life, not just 'get through' it."

2) red_rose_violin wrote, "Listen to music. Music is the voice of the brain. Music will help you maintain your sanity and is good to repel suicide. The secret is when you're down listen to upbeat music. When you're angry and can't calm down, listen to soft music."

3) Scruffy_Pinecone wrote, "My dog."

ISFJ-T commented, "I have two golden retrievers, and oh, goodness, they get me through SO MUCH, too!"

4) deterministic_lynx wrote, "I try my best to realize and cherish all the wonderful small things that make me happy. It's a bit easier as I'm really not good at having constant moods. But even when I'm down I will openly admit if I see something that I feel heartwarming. Or a beautiful tree. Or how much I like snow. Or the sun."

5) NewYorkGiantsFan1 wrote, "To be grateful for everything I have. I can wake up every morning, look at my life and be thankful for just how wonderful things turned out."

6) Maxwyfe wrote, "Seeming happy is the trick. I have to actively push aside dark thoughts and make myself focus on the positive things. I found it really helped with my depression and anxiety. If I express my gratitude and appreciation for things to myself and to others, I find myself with more things to appreciate and be thankful for."

7) Mimibael wrote, "When you love lots of things, life gets easier. A sense of wonder and appreciation can make all the difference."

8) ArchiveSQ wrote, "Headphones. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood with noise-isolating headphones and literally anything to read, listen to, or watch in the palm of your hand."

49. "What were the Most Ridiculous Misconceptions You had as a Child?"

1) palacesofparagraphs wrote, "I didn't understand that bangs (fringe) were cut that way on purpose; I just thought people either naturally had bangs or didn't, like people have hair that's curly or straight, brown or blonde. I was always sad I wasn't born with bangs."

lavagala commented, "This is so funny; my brain definitely worked similarly when I was younger. I thought that anyone could get an afro — it was just a matter of getting your hair cut the exact right way for it to spring out into one. The fact that people have different hair types didn't occur to me at all — I loved the idea of getting my straight, Caucasian hair cut into an afro! Took me a while to figure that one out."

2) Sand_Dargon wrote, "I do not remember this, but I thought dogs grew up to be horses. I am not sure what was my rationale, but four legs and fur seemed to go together. I'm not sure where I thought cows came from or what happened to cats, but dogs were just baby horses."

3) andienotandy_ wrote, "I thought baby boys would come out of daddy instead of mommy."

4) its_frickin-supernov wrote, "My mother told me I'd be able to read when I was five (referring to learning to read in kindergarten). So on my 5th birthday, I woke up all excited and tried to read something. I wasn't able to read anything. THEN my mom explained that once I go to school, I'll be able to read."

poutine_lovers commented, "I came home crying after my first day of first grade because my teacher told me we weren't going to learn how to read in one day. I was so disappointed."

Coutrtney712 commented, "My dad always tells the story of asking me how my first day of kindergarten went. Apparently, I said, 'It was okay ... but I don't know how to read yet.' (I was expecting to learn on the first day since my parents told me I would learn how to read in kindergarten!)"

5) ohsoluckyme wrote, "I didn't know that other people could be out and about while I was in school. I thought everyone either goes to school or work so the roads are empty. My mom pulled me out of school to go to the doctors one day and I couldn't believe all of the cars on the road. I thought: How are all these people not in school or at work?"

6) myfamilylawatty wrote, "I thought that cats and dogs were the same kind of animal, but dogs were the males and cats were the females. I have no clue where I got that idea."

7) palo_m wrote, "That if you just took a really long nap with a girl near you, she would immediately get pregnant."

Araia commented, "This made me remember! When I (a girl) was four or five, my mom was visiting a friend who had a boy. They put us down for a midday nap in the same bed (the parents' bed, so a big one). After that I was so worried that I was pregnant, but I kept it to myself for a few days to see what was happening. I thought my belly was getting bigger and I went crying to my mom because I thought I was pregnant."

8) smoothlanechange wrote, "I thought everyone was a virgin. I was watching a show where they mentioned virgins so I asked my grandma what a virgin was. She panicked and said, 'It's a person who hasn't done something.' So my rationale was there has to be something everyone hasn't done, so we're all technically virgins."

9) DLVSH wrote, "I have a brown birthmark on my tummy. When I was three or four, I asked why my tummy had a brown area, my grandmother told me that was where she spilt coffee on me."

ohsoluckyme commented, "My mom said something similar to me. I asked why there are people with different skin tones. She said that when you're born you get left out in the sun and however long they leave you out there is how dark you'll be. I asked how long she left me, and she said not long at all (I'm very fair skinned). She still thinks it's hilarious."

10) lillsnickaz wrote, "I thought God literally lived in the clouds. Then, at age five or six, I went on an airplane for the first time. I was super excited to get a window seat so I could see him. Imagine my surprise when I couldn't find him."

releasethekaren commented, "I thought this until I was five, and on a plane with my mom and told her we were gonna meet God soon. She had a fear of flying and did not appreciate that."

11) dumhuvud wrote, "I was so shocked as a kid when I saw Rowan Atkinson on TV, talking in an interview. Mr. Bean didn't talk!"

50. "When was a Time When Karma Worked in Your Favor?"

1) withoutlebels wrote, "While I was driving home one day, a guy tailgated me for like five blocks. He couldn't pass in the other lane because there was a truck and I was going 60km in my lane, which is already 10km above the speed limit. This was a city street, not a highway. I kept my speed and I think the truck driver caught on to what the guy was doing so he sped up just enough to box him in. I could see in my rear-view mirror he was just raging. He finally get a chance to pass when the truck makes a turn. The thing is, we were about to come to a spot where cops are notoriously known to set up speed traps. He pulls in the other lane, gives me the finger while passing and guns it. About four blocks later a cop comes out and pulls him over. I waved at him as I drove by. Made my whole week."

2) wonderwomangce wrote, "One summer in college, I set up my very first date with this guy I'd been hanging out with for a while, but he showed up late like 30 minutes to 1 hour. I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I'd never been on a date before and felt disrespected. When the fall term started, he shows up at the college eatery I always eat at with a new girl and sits at the table across from me. They finish eating and after he gets up, he looks up at and shrugs as if to show off and be like 'Too bad you missed out. I'm with someone else now.' He put on that display for me in front of my friends. I was turned off by this and grateful that I didn't date him. His new girl ended up being a psychotic and possessive pain in the butt. Muahaha [evil laughter]."

51. "What's the Most Wholesome Thing a Stranger has Done for You?"

1) Buwaro wrote, "I ran out of gas on a dirt road in New Mexico. No one around and miles from town. A guy picked me up, drove me to the gas station and then all the way back out to my truck. He also refused money when I offered it and said, 'Just make sure you help someone when they need it.'"

2) SierraSeaWitch wrote, "Just this week I fell asleep on my morning commute and nearly missed my stop. All of us on the early express bus are technically strangers but know each other based on our unofficial assigned seats, etc. Well, one guy rushed to wake me up. The other asked the bus driver to wait. The bus driver himself was like 'Doesn't someone get off here?' And when I nearly forgot my coat in my race to get off, they passed it forward. It was incredibly kind and considerate. I brought Kit Kats for them the next day in thanks. Reminds you that you have a village even when you don't know it."

3) SeattleCoffeeRoast wrote this:

"Actually, it was a Redditor. I was a really poor college student. I worked 20 hours a week but got cut back to 10 hours. Rent also increased. I didn't qualify for low-income aid like food stamps because grants for tuition at school counts as income (it's dumb).

"I had a hard time affording groceries. My meals consisted of eating cucumbers and bananas and rice crackers. I had broth and pasta and stuff ... but I was getting way thinner (I'm already a short and skinny girl @ under 100 pounds, and I was getting skinnier) and way weaker. Like walking upstairs hurt and would leave me feeling exhausted.

"We (the Redditor and I) met up and he bought me groceries (lots of meat) and even cooked for me. :) When I took the first bite of the steak he cooked, I literally cried and embarrassed myself. He would send me every now and then a delivery of Amazon groceries. I'm still in touch with that person and very grateful.

"It was a really hard time in my life."

4) MarillenBaum wrote, "In college, flying to visit my father for spring break. The airport was 45 minutes away from campus and I didn't have a car. After my ride left, the flight was delayed until the next day, and the airline said that because I lived nearby, I didn't qualify for a hotel room for the night. A lovely couple gave me their hotel room voucher, as they'd decided to drive through the night instead. It helped me out when I was in a really tight spot."

5) EastCoastTrashBag wrote, "There's a spot in the building I work at that nobody wants to work in. It's the coldest area in the building because there's an opening that doesn't close and doesn't have heat so you can't even eat food safely because the wind will blow it away. I was moved from where I usually am and wasn't prepared for how cold it would be there. I could barely handle money because my fingers felt frozen. A customer noticed how cold it was and without even asking if I was cold, he took off his gloves and gave them to me. I have no idea what his name was, but it was the most thoughtful thing a complete stranger has ever done for me. I still have the gloves."

6) ElBeatch wrote this:

"On my birthday a few years ago, an older lady randomly showed up where the wife and I were having a few drinks, told me I was going to be ok someday, to have a great birthday and that my niece (who was two at the time) loved me and wouldn't forget about me. (I was moving away in the coming year.)

"I thanked her and got a bit teary eyed, then I realized I didn't know her at all, I hadn't mentioned any of those things that night. She must have been some kind of saint or avatar because she told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. It still blows my mind. I don't adhere to any specific religion but that made me feel like something must be going on."

7) burntoutpyromancer wrote, "Many years ago, when my brother and I were travelling to Finland on a whim and most places were booked out, a Finnish student we encountered and asked for a youth hostel spontaneously let us sleep in her dorm's living room. For a few days, she even gave up her own dorm room for us and stayed at her estranged husband's place. She showed us around, bought us some typical Finnish food and sweets, and was just incredibly nice towards two naive foreigners. We stayed in contact for a bit until she went abroad, and sadly I never managed to find her again (this was before Facebook and she had a very common name). But I hope she knows how much I appreciated her kindness."

8) lizbotus wrote, "He helped me change a flat tire. Recommended a place for me to go to the next day to get it checked out. When I got there the next morning, he had stopped by to drop off his business card and to tell them to take good care of my vehicle. When they called me to tell me that the car was ready, they also told me that he had paid for the new tire. Still can't believe it. You don't get people who do that for someone they have never met before."

9) pax-augusta wrote this:

"When I was around 17, I got in my first car accident. It was snowing and very icy, and I was driving home from work. It was evening, but still fairly light because the snow reflected a decent amount of light from the streetlamps.

"I slid on the ice and lost some control of my car. I hit the one in front of me, not super hard, but enough to dent their back bumper and scratch my front bumper.

"Since it was my first accident, I sort of ... uncontrollably panicked and started crying even though it wasn't that bad. We pulled over and put our lights on. An older couple (probably in their 60s) got out of the car and assessed the damage. I got out, crying and profusely apologizing.

"The wife immediately was like 'Oh, honey ... is this your first car accident?' And gave me a little half hug. She asked her husband to grab her purse and got me some tissues from it to wipe away my tears. She said it was no big deal at all, just some scratches. She understood it was a true accident and that I hadn't been driving recklessly.

"Even though I hit them and dented their car, they took care of me and I will never forget it. It's kind of fresh in my mind right now because my daughter is going through drivers training. Of course I hope she never gets in an accident but if she does, I hope she is lucky enough to receive the same understanding from someone."

tokineee commented, "Are you me? Almost the same situation. I was 17 and driving alone in the rain, and I lost control of the car. I didn't hit anything or anyone, but I was terrified. A middle-aged couple pulled over, calmed me down, and gave me directions to where I needed to go using backstreets because I was terrified of the highway after it."

Trulu09 commented, "I once ran my car into a ditch on the side of a country highway and a sweet couple stopped to make sure I was okay. They called a family friend with a tow truck to help remove my car from the mud, and while we waited, I sat in their backseat and sobbed. They helped calm me down and didn't accept any money I tried to offer them for their kindness. I was able to send them a thank-you card, but I'll never forget how much they felt like my parents in that moment."

Crewchief0296 commented, "I have helped pull many cars out of ditches when I was growing up. There were two huge military bases where I grew up and so a lot of people who spent a majority of their careers in warmer climates don't drive too well in the snow. Most people don't understand that four-wheel drive or all-wheel drive ain't gonna save you from black ice or any ice for that matter. Come wintertime I would carry tire chain, tow straps, a blow torch and various other items for driving. The route I took from work to home had a huge ditch on the side and in the dead of winter I would pull out at least ten cars. It's just the right thing to do, in my opinion."

Stayinschool-tty commented, "Not super similar but reminded me. I was 17 driving to school. It was raining and a windy road. I swerved to avoid hitting something small and furry, lost control, and hydroplaned into a tree. I got out and was shaking on the side of the road — oh, yeah, it's still raining hard but I guess I was in shock because I didn't notice. Suddenly a black SUV pulls around the bend and sees me. A woman gets out with an umbrella and brings me into her car. She calms me down enough to call 911 and my mom. I'm still shaking and turn around to see her three young kids sitting in the back seat staring at me. She had been on her way to drop them off at school and stopped to help this poor soaked teenage girl deal with an accident. She stayed with me until my mom arrived 20 minutes later. She left me her umbrella. I really wanted to return it to her, but all I knew was the kid's school name. :/ I had that umbrella for many years after. I bet her kids grew up to be fantastic people with a mom like that."

10) First-Fantasy wrote this:

"The truck two friends and I were in broke down three hours from home. We walked to a gas station, but we were broke so we didn't really have a plan. We couldn't afford a mechanic or tow or hotel. We were high schoolers who had snuck away to go to a college party. No one wanted to call home and get in trouble.

"At the gas station two young hippies were eating donuts so we approach them and ask for a ride back to our truck. I guess we were hoping it magically fixed itself. They agreed and insisted on staying while we check it out in case we were stranded again.

"Turns out they were Phish fans and following a tour. It was a little out of their way, but they drove us back and dropped us off right at the doors to our homes. We listened to Phish the whole way while they rolled joint after joint. It was awesome and they seemed happy to do it.

"I told my mom the truck broke down while I was lost and somehow it ended up at a tow yard three hours away. Weird."

11) isafiniteisabelle wrote, "I was eating gelato in Florence, peak tourist season plus there was a heat wave, and I was kind of a mess. Just as I finish, some random shopkeeper offers me her hand and indicates for me to follow her. In my horrible Italian, I tell her no thank you and I don't speak Italian. She is adamant and so I figure I'll go. She leads me to this tiny bathroom, which she unlocked for me, and gestures for me to wash my hands. I cried. I'd been traveling alone in Europe for like two weeks, living out of my backpack and sleeping on couches and buses. It was such a simple act of kindness, but I will never forget it."

12) ashenartist wrote, "The guy next to me on a plane once woke me up when the flight attendant came around with ice cream AND got an ice cream so that I could have two. I'll never forget that man."

Asuddenpie commented, "I have done this for someone before! Except the person asleep next to me was my husband. And I didn't wake him up. And I ate his ice cream."

52. "What's the Nicest Thing a Partner has Done for You?"

1) dobbyisafreeelf wrote, "We were playing mini golf. The course had a 'wheel of fortune' you could spin before one of the holes. When he spun, he got 'move your opponent's ball anywhere on the putting green.' He could have moved it to some impossible spots, setting me up to lose the game. Instead, he picked up my ball and put it right in the hole, giving me a hole-in-one. I just about died with happiness."

2) babybee2020 wrote, "My boyfriend pretended to like baseball for me, and it took a while for him to admit that he really, really, really didn't like baseball. Only after we'd traveled to watch several games, too."

Tingalingaling commented, "Mine, too! I love baseball and living where I do, I have the chance to attend multiple games a year. I had no idea he didn't like it."

3) SweetSara1438 wrote, "I'm a huge fan of the show _Pit Bulls and Parolees_. Took a family vacation to New Orleans and my then husband decided to drive by their building. People happened to be outside, so he stopped and asked what was going on. They told him it was the normal time for volunteers to help walk the dogs. I got stupid excited, squeaking and all, until they mentioned that you have to wear closed-toe shoes. It was a vacation; I had nothing but flip flops and fancy shoes. I was devastated, near tears and everything. He literally took the shoes off his feet, handed them over to me and waited in the car until we were done. His feet are huge compared to mine, so I know I looked like a clown in the getup I was in, but dammit, I was a happy clown! I later got to go on and watch the two dogs I walked get adopted. :)"

53. "Women of Reddit, What's a Compliment that has Stuck with You?"

1) inthefamilyofthings wrote, "I was in the store one night after a long day at work. I walked down a few aisles. A mother who had her young daughter with her stopped me. The mom said, 'I'm sorry to bother you, but my daughter thinks you are a princess.' I have no idea what kind of movies that poor child had been watching, but I bent down and told her that it was my honor to meet her and asked her to keep my identity a secret. She agreed."

Allofthebluecolors commented, "That's perfect! I have neon hair and I get asked if I'm a mermaid (doesn't help I wear a lot of purple). Going to start using that as a response."

2) destria wrote, "My uncle once introduced me to one of his friends as 'the woman I want my daughters to grow up to be'. It was so unexpected."

3) lebatenrouge wrote, "Several years ago a coworker told me she trips out when she sees me because I look just like her close friend and it's crazy. After several instances of this, I got curious and asked her to pull up Facebook and show me this woman. She was 10/10 GORGEOUS."

4) e_nathan wrote, "A very pretty girl working at a supermarket checkout told me my skin was beautiful. I have suffered with acne for years but was having a good skin period and it made my heart glow. :)"

5) slavicgypsygirl wrote, "Someone told me, 'You remind me of summer.'"

6) cdsquair wrote, "Compliments that follow insults. I can't help it — they're just the most memorable. When I was bullied for my unique smile, but then someone said it's their favorite part about me. When I was told I communicate too much by a coworker, but someone else said that they aspire to communicate as well as I do. When I was told I'm far more talented/worthy as an artist than I know, after being told my work was too expensive. The key is that these things happened coincidentally and not by people obviously trying to make me feel better."

7) Hatcheling wrote this:

"He said, 'You're too pretty for radio'.

"It's stuck with me because it was said by the boy next door, who'd known me since I was five, when I was 16-17 and wanting to get into radio broadcasting. I already had a weekly show on a local radio station, and we were talking about the future and what we wanted to do. I was a teenager, so naturally uncomfortable with everything, and not only that, I was also six feet tall. Compliments about my looks were rare at this stage, and I never expected it to come from a boy who was so used to me at this point that I might as well be wallpaper."

8) luzaev wrote, "A few years ago my best friend since primary school told me that when we were young, she used to believe I was actually an angel in disguise. Coming from a person who turns to spiritual stuff to cope in difficult times it's one of the greatest compliments I could've gotten."

9) thatfluffycloud wrote, "A guy in OkCupid once messaged me that I was 'a scary and perfect manifestation of different ethnicities making beautiful babies', and a high dude in a Popeye's once complimented the way my freckles were distributed across my face."

54. "There's Already Enough Karen-Hate on the Internet. What's a Positive Experience You've had With Someone Named Karen?"

1) bahametangel wrote, "My aunt's name is Karen. Growing up, she enrolled me in and paid for several different art classes. She always encourages me to be creative and express myself. The family joke is that she is my 'real' mum. She's a big part of the reason I have a BFA degree [Bachelor of Fine Art] , and we both still make art of all kinds to this day."

2) Kinaes wrote, "I ordered food from Uber Eats out of desperation on Christmas Eve because I'd forgotten to go grocery shopping. Karen really came through with my sushi. Thanks, Karen."

Pecotef989 commented, "My ex-colleague Karen brought in cupcakes for my birthday, and we've stayed in touch since I moved onto pastures new. I even attended her recent wedding. Hands down, nicest Karen I've ever met."

3) Random_Act_Of_Music wrote, "A 70-year-old co-worker. She adored me. At 73 she retired, told me to come down with her on her last day. Her husband pulled up in a new Mustang convertible. She said, 'I've waited over 40 years for this.' They drive all over America and find weird festivals and landmarks and update everything on Facebook. Recently she ate chocolate-dipped bison meatloaf on a stick because f[**]k it, she's living her best life after years of corporate servitude. She's honestly one of my best friends. I'm only 37."

4) DragonPrincessMew wrote, "My grandma is named Karen — obsessed with puzzles and word games and owls and once let my brother videotape her saying 'sh[*]t' (or 'f[**]k,' I don't remember which) because he thought it was hilarious to see her, a clean, non-sweary person use vulgar language."

5) StupidZNCrazy wrote, "I knew a Karen in my middle school homeroom. She was cool. One time the teacher told her she couldn't have soda unless she had soda for everyone, so the next day Karen comes waltzing in with her friends and everyone's carrying 12-packs. Soda for days. Teacher was dumbfounded and much soda was had that day. Thanks, Karen!"

6) anna_isnotmyrealname wrote, "My best friend's mom is Karen, she let me and my three-month-old stay at her house and use her car when I flew into town when my brother was in the Intensive Care Unit. She changed my life through that experience, and I consider her a second mom now. She helped me through two funerals and never forgets my kids' birthdays or misses a chance to see us. She knitted them homemade stockings for Christmas, and she's by far the most amazing and selfless woman I know."

AllAboutMeMedia commented, "Well you know what they say ... Karen is sharin'."

7) InannasPocket wrote this:

"Karen in elementary school stuck up for me when some kids were teasing me.

"Karen (my friend's mom) was lovely, always patient, and made amazing sandwiches.

"Karen at work is super nice and even though she works in Human Resources is known for helping everyone work things out for their benefit not just the company's (thanks for the FMLA [The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 — a USA law] tip, it literally saved me thousands of dollars!).

"I actually can't think of a Karen I know who isn't a nice person."

Jesus-take-the-PRNDL commented, "God, I love this whole thread so much. So much positivity. I'd imagine it's nice for anyone called Karen to see this sort of thing for once."

SoStupid246 commented, "I'm a 44-year-old Karen. Yes, it's very nice! I don't take the 'I need to speak to the manager' memes personally, but it's gotten so old and tiring. We aren't all crazy soccer moms with awful haircuts who are anti-vaccine. Many of us are very nice people. :)"

55. "What was the Funniest or Most Embarrassing Instance of You or Someone You Know Jumbling Their Words?"

1) ConnieC60 commented, "I was friends with sisters who were called Charlotte and Harriet. More than once I muddled it up and called them Harlot and Chariot."

Msstark commented, "In college I had two classmates who were inseparable: Camilla and Vanessa. A stoner guy in our class called them Vanilla and Camessa all the time by mistake."

2) floordit wrote, "Recently I got a new job at a coffee place. As I was handing out a toasted bagel, I said, 'Lightly tasted bagel!' 'Instead of lightly toasted bagel!' .... The manager was nice about it and found it funny, but I was mortified. Ha ha."

3) Ughleigh wrote, "I used to work as a cake decorator at a grocery store but would sometimes go help out in the deli. We had a hot case that had fried chicken, boudin balls, etc.; it also had chicken livers and gizzards. A lady asked my coworker what exactly they were because nothing was labeled, and he matter of factly said, 'Lizards and gizzards.' That was over a decade ago and it still makes me laugh. I'm tearing up."

56. "Women, What's the Most Romantic Thing Your Partner has Done for You?"

1) DrClaustrum wrote this:

I told my current Significant Other that I really needed to study and that I couldn't see him or spend time with him. I get a message that evening to go outside. I started freaking out because I thought he came over despite being told I would be busy. I walk outside and see the most beautiful bunch of flowers leaning against my gate. He's nowhere to be seen. He drove 30 minutes just to leave flowers at my door and put a smile on my face when I was stressed.

"He respected my boundaries while doing something so romantic for me. That was at the beginning of our relationship and it told me he was a keeper. I pressed some of those flowers and it's a memory I treasure."

2) saucymouth wrote this:

"For my birthday he planned a full day of activities. Everything was a surprise. That day I received a massage and a two-hour drive to my favorite restaurant for lunch and then we had dinner at my other favorite restaurant. He invited both of our families (I enjoy family time). It was beautiful.

"And he came to my work when I told him I had a hard day with a snack and a kiss."

3) tiredvolcano wrote, "We were staying at a nice condo in the winter that had a jacuzzi in the bathroom. I was so excited about the jacuzzi! It was my first time being able to use one that wasn't in public. We had been dating for six months. While I was getting clean in the shower before hopping in (I can't submerge my head due to weird ear problems), my SO put on soft classical background music, lit candles around the rim, and set my book out for me as he filled the tub with water. He helped me step in the tub like a perfect gentleman. Then he came back with hot chocolate just the way I like it a few minutes later. And when I was finished, he had a warm towel ready for me fresh from the dryer, and he had warmed up my robe, too, and set it out on the bed for me! When I thanked him, he just blushed and said he wanted to make me feel special. It certainly worked! He doesn't even like jacuzzis. We were engaged a month later and have been married several years now."

4) whereareallthedogs wrote this:

"My current partner and I are long distance.

"I visited him in his country last holidays. As soon as I entered his room, he immediately went on to talk about how he made space for me (I was staying for a month). Half of his closet was literally clear. He had blank hangers for my clothes. He moved his shoes in the rack to make room for mine. He set aside his laptop from the study table for my extra belongings. He gave an additional blanket + the fluffier pillow for my side of the bed. He had a towel, small toiletries, and other necessities bought for me. The side table was cleared for me to use.

"He also managed to bake me a cake even though he had exams the day before I arrived.

"I always knew he was a keeper since the beginning. That moment kinda was a symbolism to me of how much space he's given me in his life — and I'm really grateful that he lets me in."

5) impossibleplaces wrote, "Last week I wasn't feeling so well and was lying on the floor — for some reason it's comforting to me. I had to go do something in another part of the apartment, and when I came back, he had built me a blanket fort with lots of pillows, a space heater and the cat. Maybe not the most romantic thing ever but definitely one of those moments where I was like 'd[*]mn, he's the best husband ever.'"

57. "When You're Lying in Bed at Night, Do You Ever Randomly Remember Some Relatively Minor Social Missteps or Poorly Chosen Words You Did/Said Years Earlier? If So, What Happened?"

1) jennebenna11 wrote, "I had just started at a new restaurant as a waitress, it was the tail end of the lunch shift, and I was in the kitchen talking to the chefs. One of them slides a plate to me and says, 'This is for you,' and I automatically thought, 'Oh, they must have made me a dish to try as I'm new here'. I said thanks and ate a chip of the plate. I will never forget the looks on their faces. That plate was an order for me to take out. Just the look of 'what the actual f[**]k is wrong with this chick?' The memory still makes me pull the covers over my head in embarrassment. This happened about five years ago."

2) FarRightExtremist wrote this:

"I was in middle school. A friend was claiming that she was fat; I argued she wasn't. We got into a theoretical debate over at what appearance and size a person can be considered fat. A female classmate who was pretty overweight walked in and I, immediately and mindlessly, pointed at her and exclaimed: 'See, this is what fat looks like! Not you!'

"I instantly felt ashamed and left the classroom. I apologized to her a few hours later."

58. "Ladies, what is Something About Yourself that Makes You Beautiful and Unique?"

1) no-elf-and-safety wrote this:

"I have freckles on my lips, I have never met anyone else who does, and it's a really nice little thing that makes me feel special and because it took me soooooo long to be okay with my freckles. It also makes me kinda hate wearing makeup and more confident bare faced.

"And before people tell me they have freckles on their lips, too — shhhhhhhhhhhh, I wanna stay special!"

2) long_ferret wrote, "I have medium-short hair yet an endless amount of it. It takes hairdressers a long time to cut my hair because it's so thick and there's just so much of it. But d[*]mn is it hella soft! Some of my coworkers and friends like to pet my hair. Laughing out loud. I am a human poodle."

3) mollyellow wrote, "My cleft chin. I used to hate it because I never really met anyone else who had one, but after reading that cleft chins are considered a factor of beauty in Persian literature, and are metaphorically referred to as 'the chin pit' or 'the chin well'— a well in which the poor lover is fallen and trapped — I began to love what I had seen in the past as a huge flaw."

4) lucid-delight wrote, "I'm slim and sort of ethereal in physical form. I also have the uncanny ability of casually dropping the foulest of swear words when nobody expects it, making people think it sure couldn't have come out of me. I like to think it makes me a unique special snowflake — no way I'm that socially awkward, right?"

5) ayewheezy wrote, "I have a large beauty spot on the left side of my nose. I used to hate it but grew to love it because it was a unique feature of mine."

6) GhostCookie101 wrote, "My butt and hair. I like to look in the mirror all the time and admire my face and body and give myself compliments."

7) Glittering-Inside wrote, "This is gonna sound weird, but I like the position of the freckles/beauty spots on my face. I have one right above my lip, one above my eyebrow and three on my cheek in the shape of a triangle. It's like they make this unique constellation lol. I also get compliments on my almond-shaped eyes often, so I've grown to appreciate those."

59. "What Makes You Optimistic About Humanity?"

1) LoadingTOS wrote, "Generally speaking, my own opinion of myself. I don't think I am anywhere near important, or even significant, but I do consider myself a fairly decent person. So, if I'm not the best, if I'm just average, then there are definitely better people out there who can and will make the world better, and when that happens, we, as a species, will become better. Just a matter of if we can handle the consequences of the past."

2) skippyMETS wrote, "Most people I meet are generally nice and sometimes there's ice cream."

3) I_Am_Paranoid1 wrote, "Just the fact there are still good people out there. I don't think enough people try and find those individuals who save the dog, help the elderly walk across the street, stay with patients in their final moments before passing. When one person does something idiotic, most people automatically pin humanity as hopeless, but this is far from the truth."

4) Portarossa wrote this:

"Libraries. Someone decided that every town should have a building where you can get as much education and entertainment as you can stuff into your eyeballs, free at the point of use, paid for by everybody for everybody, and the only thing you need to do to get it is to promise to bring it back in a timely manner so other people can enjoy it, too.

"And people actually do it! The system works!"

5) openletter8 wrote this:

"No matter how bad things get, there always seem to be people who run towards the danger, instead of away — people who will risk themselves for anyone, at the drop of a hat.

"As long as there are people willing to do that, humanity will be okay."

6) refreshing_usernane wrote, "During a disaster (earthquake, fire, mass shooting) there are always people running towards the danger to help those in need."

7) billbapapa wrote this:

"My daughter.

"I was one of those people who thought it was cruel to bring a child into this terrible world. I'd say things like that. I had and have a ton of mental difficulties, and I really believed that.

"But I got lucky and met a woman who was perfect for me and gave me a bright light in a dark world. And somewhere along the way I started thinking, maybe stupidly, that a child who was half her could overpower the half of me that was bad, and the kid would end up all right. So eventually, I gave her the child she wanted.

"My daughter turned out to be all light — and more than that — she actively tries to correct the world she lives in.

"I've never met a kinder, more caring soul.

"She can't be the only kid like that; there are probably tons. And that fact makes me think the world will end up okay.

"Mine certainly is better for having her in it."

60. "Men of Reddit, What's the Best Compliment You've Ever Received from a Girl?"

1) ClaudineKos wrote this:

"In a post-breakup argument with my ex, she said, 'I wish I could tell you you're a bad person, but you're not. You're actually a really great person, but f[**]k you anyway.'

"Thank youuuu."

2) BadolphSChmittler wrote this:

"At the office Christmas party from my (now unfortunately) ex-girlfriend, before we got together: 'I never understood why the other girls were so hung up on you until you stared into my eyes.'

"A) I didn't know that 'the other girls' were 'hung up' on me to begin with, and B) Apparently I have f[**]k-me eyes, or something. That compliment kept my confidence afloat for a couple of years at least."

3) raym0ndv2 wrote this:

"I was getting dinner with two of my old friends from school. We're drinking, eating, and joking and just having an all-around great evening catching up. We finish up and say our goodbyes in the parking lot when my friend pulls me aside.

"She tells me that she noticed I was making a lot of jokes about myself during dinner. Then she told some nice things about me and that I didn't need to put myself down so much and that if I needed anything, I could always talk to her.

"It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done, I hadn't really noticed I was doing that. Just to have a friend notice and be concerned made me all warm."

4) pm-me-racecars wrote, "You make me feel safe."

ChokedOnTooManyPills commented, "This is an ultimate compliment."

5) WatchTheBoom wrote this:

"There was a girl on one of my teams at work — maybe six or seven years younger than me. We ended up on a bunch of the same shifts and spent a lot of time talking about our lives. In a handful of different ways, she was very similar to where I was when I was in her shoes and we helped her figure out how to adult.

"One day she mentioned that she liked talking to me because I made her use her whole brain. I think that's one of the nicest things someone's said to me outside of my family."

6) Tpony900 wrote this:

"'Husband.'

"Okay, that's corny. But it's the first thing I thought of. A woman has to think highly of you to marry you."

Churchills_Truthh commented, "I concur."

7) Hanginon wrote, "'If I were a man, you're the man I would want to be.' Doesn't get much better than that."
Chapter 4: Questions 61-80

61. "What was Your 10 Minutes of Fame?"

1) 02K30C1 wrote, "Years ago my picture was in _Playboy_ [a nudie] magazine. My mom bought five copies."

02K30C1 added, "I knew the centerfold model and got invited to one of her non-nude photo shoots. They were looking for pics of her doing ordinary stuff in public around town, and I happened to be standing next to her for a couple pics that made it in the magazine."

2) CannaChef23 wrote, "Wrote and published a Cannabis cookbook last year. Finally got it displayed in my local shop and got a round of applause from the employees next time I came in. They had all bought it, read it, and loved it. One budtender freaked out a little and was overjoyed he got to sell me kief (is what my book is based on using). I'm not famous from it, and I'm not wealthy — but this is a project I was really proud of and that little moment of recognition (literally 10 minutes) was nice."

Portarossa commented, "Thank you for teaching me the word 'budtender', which is something I hadn't even considered you'd need a word for before today, but which makes perfect sense."

3) Neinbozobozobozo wrote this:

"I used to carry around my adult iguana, Inuyasha, on my backpack on my way to the beach. We'd go on walks together throughout Southwest and downtown Detroit, mostly along the river walk. People kind of freaked out, asked for pictures and all that jazz. She died last year, after seventeen years together.

"TL;DR- I was the 'iguana guy' in Detroit for years.

4) Potatoe-Peaches wrote, "I was the only kid in class in 5th grade who got all the answers correct on a homework assignment because my dad did the entire thing. My teacher was so proud."

5) Bandajj wrote this:

"A few years ago some friends and me pulled two unconscious kids out of the river next to our hangout spot, which is a riverbank about one kilometer away from a dam with a turbine for electricity.

"We got a newspaper article and an honorable-citizen medal from our mayor, plus more importantly the everlasting knowledge to have saved two children from certain death."

IamPlatacus joked, "Unless one of them becomes Hitler 2.0! If that happens, make sure the other one kid you saved cures cancer to balance it out."

62. "What's the Most Inappropriate Song Choice You've Witnessed at a Wedding or Funeral and How Did the People React?"

1) Bonschenverwerter wrote this:

"I just snorted tea because we played an inappropriate song for my dad's funeral.

"My dad was sick for a long time; he had a brain tumor that basically caused him to be a shell. He didn't show emotion at all.

"A month before he died, my grandmother turned 75 and my uncle had organized a musician, who played some old songs, some in low-German (my grandmother's native dialect) and some in standard German but that were still regional. My dad had quite a good time, but he really came out of his shell when ' _Hein Mück aus Bremerhaven_ ' was played. It's about a sailor who has a woman in every port and contains some sexual references. He had this wide smile on his face. We hadn't seen that in an eternity.

"So dad dies and the funeral needs to be planned. My mum gets one choice for music, we kids get one, and the third song is for the entire family. We kids chose ' _Hein Mück_ ' (by the way, we kids were all adults at the time). My mum struggled with the decision but agreed in the end. We had to make sure that people knew why we were playing that song, though, and we said this song played the last time he smiled.

"Oh, the uproar! The memory still makes me chuckle. 'Scandal! Did they really play that song? How dare they, this was a funeral, how disrespectful! There are church services held in this chapel' (it wasn't a religious funeral and the chapel has a cross in it, but the chapel doesn't belong to a church).

"To this day I am not sure if my dad would have approved of that song, but he surely would have found the scandal surrounding it hilarious. Especially because the one person most upset about it was our annoying neighbor who really got on my dad's nerves all the time, and my dad kept saying, 'One day I am going to annoy him just as much as he annoys me.'"

2) Interphase1992 wrote this:

"A colleague and good friend of mine committed suicide, sadly. At her funeral some of her favourite songs were playing on what I assume was a Spotify playlist. Pink, Alanis Morissette, and other similar artists.

"Once Alanis finished, it happened. As soon as it started, I knew I recognised the song, but as soon as the 'DOVAHKIIN, DOVAHKIIN, NAAL OK ZIN LOS VAHRIIN' kicked in, it was unmistakably the Skyrim soundtrack.

"It was hilarious, but completely inappropriate to laugh. It was also quite sweet, because her husband asked her three sons to pick their favourite song each, and the youngest (five years old) picked that.

"Now every time I play Skyrim, I think of her and smile."

3) mischii1 wrote, "Last Monday at a funeral: 'Another One Bites the Dust.'"

4) Gogio726 wrote, "At my brother's wedding about 24 years ago. It was a small event; we didn't even have a DJ. Just a bunch of music from our personal collection. My dad asked me to go put on a CD and let it run. I figured you can't go wrong with oldies, so I put on some sort of Greatest Hits type compilation. Except the first song was 'Bye Bye Love' by the Everly Brothers."

EddieGaff comented, "I was put in charge of music at the last minute at a mate's wedding. Like, she was literally about to walk down the aisle. Skimming through his collection on his iPad in a panic I went with 'Love of My Life' by Queen. As in 'Love of my life, you've hurt me, you've broken my heart and now you leave me'."

63. "What is the Worst Book that You Read for School?"

Earwigoatmeal wrote, "In second grade we went to the library and had to get a book to do a report on. At the time I was in the habit of finding scary books in the adult section to read and wanted something like that. The librarian didn't believe I was reading books from the adult section and made me get a book from the kid section about a ghost. The ghost was friendly and there were no horror elements. My report was a barely coherent barely legible rant on how terrible the book was. My mom told me I had to rewrite it because it was hard to read, and I told her the book was so bad it didn't deserve to have a review that could be read."

PartialSensibleness commented, "I also had a librarian who refused to lend me a book outside my supposed reading level. I finished the new book in the time it took me to walk across to the next building. She refused to let me check out a second book. I was so angry I shouted, 'I'll be back tomorrow for a book of my choice.' She never bothered me again."

2) coryhill66 joked, " _The Count of Monte Cristo_. It was a great book, but I started elaborate revenge plots against everyone who has ever wronged me."

64. "Office People of Reddit, What are the Best Pranks You have Witnessed Coworkers Pull Off (Without Getting Fired)?"

1) BloodInMySaltStream wrote this:

"Our former director had a standard clothing rotation, including always wearing the same sweater on our casual Fridays. (We did 'Casual Friday' the 1st and 3rd Fridays of each Month). The rest of the outfit was pretty standard: tan slacks, and brown dress shoes.

"I was the team lead with something around 25-30 members. I found a wholesale company that would sell us a nearly identical sweater for $10 each.

"The next casual Friday, there were 30-something directors walking around wearing the exact same outfit. He brought me a bottle of 15-year-old single malt the following Monday."

2) Trashy_southerner wrote this:

"A buddy of mine at work put fake people in all the bathroom stalls. Shoes, clothing, and printed faces of people like Trump, Clinton, and [Marianne?] Williamson. He locked the stalls after everything was set up one evening.

"About an hour into the morning the next day, several ladies were gathered outside the restroom whispering over homeless people in the bathroom. They ended up getting our tall CFO [Chief Financial Officer] to go in and check it out. He came out laughing. The whole company laughed after we discovered the prank."

Trashy_southerner added this about the reason for the printed faces:

"To give the impression of a person inside the hood (the paper was pasted onto cardboard cutouts inside the shirt). Then additional comedic value upon discovery. :) He used jeans that fully sat on old tennis shoes and boots. He sat them on the toilet."

3) SoSaidTheDragon wrote this:

"Not my story, but my dad's.

"So, my dad likes Jelly Belly candies, and everyone at his office knows that's his favorite. Like, it's an everyday snack for him. And one day his coworker offers him some from the box he's eating. Except, these aren't Jelly Bellies. These are those Bertie Bott Every Flavor Beans — you know the ones, where it's like 'Is this buttered popcorn or vomit flavor?'. He says nothing, dad eats one.

"It's earwax flavor. And that was the moment this poor guy opened the gates of prank war hell.

"He thought the prank was the bucket on his desk. It was a relatively small Easter bucket, and it wasn't really hard to figure out that it was mixed M&M and Skittles. Fair play, right? That would have been an equivalent prank for the Bertie Botts thing for your average human.

"But not for my dad. Not only had he mixed about a pound each of M&Ms and Skittles in that bucket, he'd carved the bottom out. So his coworker goes to move it, and suddenly it's a sugary waterfall all over his desk. Cool, nice job. Annoying, but good game, bro.

"But you see, it's not over.

"In the end, candy was everywhere. It was the sugar apocalypse in the middle of the office. Because you see, my dad hadn't stopped at the bucket — he'd gone next level. He'd taken several pounds of candies and filled each drawer in this poor fool's desk. Each one had a different brand of loose candy. Mike and Ikes, Starbursts, Lifesavers.

"Three hundred dollars' worth of candy. More than 20 pounds of candy had been carefully poured into this man's desk in the dead of night. He was still finding stray pieces weeks later. My dad has a picture of him, defeated, slumped in his chair, surrounded by thousands of tiny, loose candies, framed on his desk just to remind this poor fool of the time he dared to mess with my dad's favorite candy."

SoSaidTheDragon added this:

"That whole side of my family is like this. Usually not as extreme, but the same energy. For anyone interested:

"My great-grandfather, a WWII soldier, one time decided to go with my great grand uncle and let air out of tires — in uniform, because of course. This guy comes out of a restaurant and sees them doing it to his car. He's also in full military dress blues, and he demands to know what they're doing. My uncle (through marriage) screams, 'Run, Dale!' and hits that dip.

"My great-grandfather, Dale, stands there as this guy goes on, 'Do you know who I am?' 'No, sir.' 'I'm Major Blah.'"

"And he keeps going for a minute. My uncle is out of sight by the time he stops. Still just standing there, my great-grandfather goes, 'Do you know who I am?'

"The Major goes, 'No'.

"And my great-grandfather goes, 'Good,' and hauls his skinny Irish [*]ss down the road like he was on fire.

"My great-grandmother used to complain about how often she sewed his stripes on only to take them back off, he got promoted and then demoted (usually for being a smart [*]ss) that often."

4) zazzlekdazzle wrote this:

"Our boss was obnoxious and a bit of a slob. We knew he would just let his dirty coffee cups, common ones from the office kitchen, collect in his office. Sometimes, one of us would get so disgusted, we would just collect them and clean them for this pathetic baby, because we felt he couldn't take care of himself. He drank a lot of coffee, espresso drinks to be exact.

"He liked to think he was really busy and came up with what he thought was a genius plan that he would meet with us only if we made him an espresso or cappuccino from the office machine. We all had to become baristas just to talk to this jack[*ss. (We used to offer once in a while, when he really was very busy, to make it a coffee break to meet with us and we would make the coffee. We offered to do it. But soon he was demanding it, and he was bragging to the people at the office that he did it, too.)

"We came up with a plan. Every time we met with him, we would bring his royal highness his espresso drink and make one for ourselves as well. We would drink ours during the meeting and then leave the cup in his office. He already had so many dirty cups in there when we started that the slow accretion went unnoticed.

"As planned, first all the 'good' cups ended up in his office, then just all of them and people in the office were getting really annoyed because the cups were disappearing from the kitchen. People would bring more in, and they would disappear as well.

"Eventually, not too long after we started but after there was a major impact and people were p[*]ssed, someone else came to his office and saw this disgusting array of dirty coffee cups, their coffee cups, filling his office.

"He was publicly shamed and people never stopped making fun of him about it. I don't know if he ever caught on as to how we exponentially expanded the number of offending cups, but he lost his appetite for those coffee drinks and we never had to make that [*]ssh[*le] one again."

5) simple123mind wrote, "I replaced all coffee in K-cups with decaf. After two weeks I replaced it with French roast. People were very chipper that Monday."

65. "What is Something that Your Significant Other Does that Means a Lot to You?"

1) BacktoBach wrote this:

"When I return from being away, I'll sometimes be greeted with an assortment of colorful fresh flowers in a vase on the entry foyer table.

"It's my Significant Other's way of saying, 'Welcome home!'"

2) Armchair Scientish wrote, "If she makes a dumb mistake and I point it out she'll just start f[**]king dancing. Like in a 'deal with it' kind of way. It's f[**]king hilarious. I'm gonna marry that weirdo someday."

3) ThinBlue138 wrote, "Yesterday I wasn't in a great mood and was lying on the couch and when he came to lie with me, I made a statement, being silly. and said, 'Thanks, I could use a little love.' Well, he got up and walked into the kitchen, so of course I was a little like what the f[**]k to myself. He came back with a piece of paper that he had cut into the shape of a heart about the size of his thumbnail and he wrote 'Little love' on it. Yeah, I'll be keeping that forever."

4) LawzenRainbow wrote, "If he leaves super early for work, he goes downstairs to get ready but returns to tuck me in and make sure I'm warm. He then whispers lots of sweet things in my ear even if I'm not fully awake."

5) Freholly wrote, "She hugs me when I'm stressed or freaking out. People underestimate the value of a hug."

edie_the_egg_lady commented, "My husband gives the BEST hugs. I can feel my body relax immediately. He calls it 'powering down' and makes a beep boop robot noise."

6) jemmo_ wrote, "It's the littlest thing, but when he puts groceries away, he always opens the end of the boxes of soda in the fridge. He knows I struggle with it (even though it's already perforated) and it makes me so happy that he pays attention to that tiny frustration in my life and makes it easier for me. It's like getting a little kiss every time I get a drink."

7) Adzm0g wrote, "She's not my Significant Other, but one day I was texting her some stuff saying that I was having a rough time. I also wanted to play some video game with her later, but she told me she wasn't there. A few hours later I received a text from her telling that she would be there in a minute if I was still up to play. I was indeed up to play so she joined me and we played three hours. I learned later this night that she left a party a few hours earlier to come play with me because I was feeling really bad."

8) deleanu wrote, "She doesn't tell me directly to pick up the socks next to the bed; instead, she 'yells' at the socks to go in the laundry basket and then looks at me with this perplexed face and tells me: 'It seems the socks need some help getting into the laundry basket. Wanna do something about it?' She nags me in the most wonderful way."

9) Sadmacarm wrote, "He reads to me while I cook dinner each evening. We are on book five of the Pendragon series."

10) jbeech- wrote, "She said yes ... 41 years ago, and counting."

66. "What was the Most Successful Prank You've Ever Pulled?"

1) tgra957 wrote this:

"In college, I lived in a dorm. We got along but didn't know each other too well as it was only a couple weeks into the year. However, this was my second year in the dorm and so I knew a few of them. One of these people, who we will call Fred (not his real name), really loved apple juice. Like...most of his mini-fridge was nothing but single serving bottles of apple juice. The only thing that wasn't apple juice was his roommate's occasional soda or food. One day, he was out at a late club meeting and I went over to talk to his roommate about something I don't remember. While we were talking, his roommate opened the fridge to get a soda or something but all I remember is seeing apple juice and thinking, 'Hey, I should put some of his apple juice in my fridge'. So I did.

"Everyone else on our dorm floor found out I put it in my fridge and they wanted some, too, so next thing we knew, everyone had one or two bottles of apple juice. But this wasn't enough fun for us. Within an hour, everyone had come up with some sort of quest he would have to complete in order to get his apple juice back. Eventually, someone (who will remain nameless but is by far my favorite human I've ever met) suggested we theme the thing around _The Legend of Zelda_ because Fred loved the Zelda series ... as we did. We all planned out the majority of the main questline from _The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time_ then we all went to our rooms and waited.

"Fred came back from his meeting totally exhausted and his roommate said, 'Wow, you look tired, I bet some apple juice will help you feel better'. I have never heard someone scream so loud for apple juice. His roommate then handed him one bottle saying, 'It's dangerous to go alone, take this,' while playing the intro theme song to the game and sent him on his way to the first quest in my room. He had to collect three spiritual stones (a beginning of the game for those not familiar) and he seemed done with the whole thing. It was obvious he thought I had all of his apple juice, which made this all the more fun to watch. When he finally finished, he demanded his apple juice and he was so confused when I opened my fridge for him to see only two little bottles sitting in it. I then handed him the 'master nerf gun' and was met with a blank stare. After what felt like an eternity, it clicked in his head that this was just the beginning. He took it and thrust it above his head towards the sky, immediately going into character. The rest of the night was him running around our floor completing quests to get his apple juice back, but he was no longer in it for the apple juice — he was doing it for fun. He got more into it as time went on, as did everyone else involved. The person playing the part of the final boss even wrote an entire monologue complete with a strobe light (well ... it was his roommate flicking the light switch rapidly, but it still worked). By the end of the night, Fred had completely forgotten he was doing it for the apple juice.

"What started out as a small prank turned into an all-night event that turned everyone into close friends. I still talk to these people nine years later. To give even a happier ending, two of the people who were involved in giving quests recently got married and all of the main participants of that night were there.

"That's the best prank I've ever pulled, and I would do it again in a heartbeat."

2) KnowanUKnow wrote this:

"You remember the Juicy Fruit gum sticks? The ones with the wrapper?

"I would carefully open the gum and save the wrapper. Then I would carve a piece of soap to look like the gum, re-wrap it and give it to my sister.

"The kicker was that after she first put the gum in her mouth and discovered it was soap, I'd laugh and then offer her a real stick of gum as an apology.

"That second stick was also soap. She fell for it."

elee0228 commented, "Like the label says: lather, rinse, repeat."

MySayWTFIWantAccount commented, "Some aspects of siblinghood are indistinguishable from warfare."

chuntone commented, "This one time when I was 11, my two older siblings, our oldest cousin, and I decided a sporty pillow fight would be fun. We grew up in poverty, so our pillows were a little old. Several times I was knocked off my feet because of how much power we were using in our swing. We stopped because my sister the middle child was knocked out."

3) thelamestmom wrote this:

"After seeing the movie _Poltergeist_ , I thought it would be funny to put all the chairs up on the table stacked all weird and then open all the cabinets in the middle of the night. I thought it would be harmless and my parents would get a laugh out of it.

"Nope. They believed, one thousand percent, that it was a ghost we had in the house and it didn't even matter that I told them the truth: They chose to believe it was the ghost. I'm not sure why, but I think they really wanted to be haunted or something."

4) FueledByMaple wrote this:

"I dunno if this counts as a prank, but my dad is a huge fan of the series _Scrubs_ , and there's a gag where a character puts a pancake in the silverware drawer and this exchange happens:

"'Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?'

"'You mean why is there silverware in the pancake drawer.'

"So, just for laughs, I made pancakes and put one in our silverware drawer, waiting idly by in the kitchen for him to need a fork or something. I watch all giddy as he, confused, takes the pancake out and asks, 'What's a pancake doing in the silverware drawer?' Without missing a beat, I say, 'YOU MEAN WHAT IS SILVERWARE DOING IN THE PANCAKE DRAWER!' I didn't think it would actually work. He got a real kick out of that."

jberg18 commented, "A+ Harmless prank. People get to eat pancakes. _Scrubs_. Sharing a moment with your dad."

5) Akareyon wrote this:

"Cooking at school; different parts of the menu were prepared by different people. The girl tasked with the fruit salad was halving grapes when I passed her, so I commented that she wasn't peeling them. 'Were we supposed to do that?' 'Of course, didn't you listen? Ask the teacher!'

"A looong time later, I had already forgotten the matter, not expecting to be taken seriously, I heard our teacher yell, 'Anita, what are you doing?' Poor girl was almost done peeling a pound of grapes."

Accomplicated commented:

"I was eating grapes at the school I worked at in Korea. A teacher walked in and asked, '"What are you doing?'

"'I'm eating grapes.'

"'Without peeling them?'

"'Yup.'

"'Wow! That's so convenient!'"

6) JIR-Are-loved wrote, "When I was 13, I told my mom my alarm stopped working and asked her to wake me up in the morning. So I stayed up until she went to bed and snuck downstairs. I took a jar of Vaseline and put the Vaseline on my doorknob and went to sleep. The next morning my mom woke me up, by screaming, 'WHAT THE F**K! WHO DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT!'"

PicklesAreMyJesus commented, "You just gave me a WONDERFUL idea."

7) Ace_of_Clubs wrote this:

"My college roommate ate cereal really slow (usually only when he was drunk) and would typically take a while to get through an entire box.

"Every time he ate a bowl, I would refill the box to try and always keep it halfway. This went on for months, and I probably poured 10 entire boxes into the one.

"Finally, one night, he came home drunk and went to get a bowl of cereal. I hear from my room, 'HOW MUCH IS IN YOU!' He then pours the entire contents onto the table and is completely dumbfounded that there was that much left after eating from it almost the entire semester.

"It's been like six years and I still haven't told him it was me. One of his favorite college stories is about the magical box of cereal that contained an infinite amount until he broke it by dumping it out."

deeperthanreddit commented, "Do you ever plan on telling him? I love this prank because it's not malicious, no one gets hurt, and it's so, so funny."

8) thisguyhaschickens wrote, "I told my sister that orange soda tastes better the more you shake it before opening."

9) PieSavant wrote this, "My late husband was a weather nerd and loved inclement weather. One time I was home alone, and a huge storm was imminent. I taped the weather warnings. A few days later it was a beautiful sunny day — not a cloud in the sky. We were watching TV and as soon as he walked into the kitchen to fetch a beer, I started playing the warnings. It was so funny! He kept running outside to check the sky. I laughed so hard (and so did he when I confessed)."

10) Mydaskyng wrote this:

"I've been waiting to tell this story for a decade on Reddit, as it was the highlight of my high school years!

"I managed to convince my sister's 9th grade science teacher that my sister was an amateur arsonist almost by accident.

"I had a study hall with Mr. D. the semester before, and one day as I'm sitting in the class near the back he wanders by and says, 'I have your sister in my class next semester, so anything I should know?' He was just trying to make conversation with a student whose younger sibling was newly 9th grade.

"I don't know where it came from but I jokingly told him, 'Look, whatever you heard, it was completely blown out of proportion, no charges were ever filed, and besides, there haven't been any incidents in a couple of months, and besides some smoke damage, there's been no loss of property. Maybe just don't sit her near the wastepaper just to be safe.' I was just pulling Mr. D's leg basically.

"I forgot about that exchange until the parent-teacher night the next semester, when my mother came back and asked me what I told my sister's science teacher. Apparently, I played the defensive older brother act a little too well, and he spent the first three weeks of that semester with my sister under close scrutiny and he had to ask my mum about the validity of my claims.

"I only found out this past holiday when I was retelling the story, but my sister inadvertently helped the joke along that first week she was in science. They were lighting Bunsen burners and Mr. D asked if anyone knew how to use matches. Given we grew up with wood heat and camping, it should come as no surprise that my sister's hand shot up."

11) sats1995 wrote this:

"One summer when my cousin was staying with us, he and I had a small 'prank war' going on against one another. We decided to put our talents together and try to prank everyone else. We put small piles of flour on each blade of the ceiling fan in the living room. Just enough to not be seen from the ground. A few weeks went by and nothing happened, and we had forgotten about it.

"And then, the day finally came. My mom had company over. I was in the kitchen and I heard all kinds of shouting/screaming coming from the living room. My cousin ran up to me grinning and said, 'It's happening.'

"The living room looked like it had just snowed inside. Everything was coated in a dusting of flour. My mother was screaming, her guests were staring in confusion and the dogs were running around in circles. It was so amazing — until we had to clean it all up."

ShebanotDoge commented, "Be careful not to do that near an open flame, airborne flour is extremely flammable."

12) Southrncomfortjm wrote:

"For our high school senior prank at my boarding school, we snuck out in the middle of the night and stole the athletic director's prized golf cart. We pushed it up a hill to the school. One of our friends was able to get keys from a custodian and let us in a back door. We got the golf cart into the building and then into a science classroom and lifted it up onto the big lab tables. We decorated it with nonsense and left it there and locked everything up.

"In the morning, everyone not in on it was completely confused about how the hell we had pulled it off. We didn't even damage anything; even the chain we had to cut to get the golf cart free was replaced, with a note, on our athletic director's doorstep. The custodial staff wasn't even mad at having to take the cart out because it was so ridiculous.

"I can only imagine the double take that the teacher did when he entered his class that day."

67. "Women Who Proposed to Your Husbands, What was the Proposal Like?"

1) hanumanaku wrote this:

"I was the one proposed to in this instance, but my wife doesn't use Reddit, so I'll share the story. I'll be a bit vague with some details, so I don't get rumbled, but here goes.

"My wife's a fan of treasure hunts, Easter Egg hunts, riddles, that sort of thing. Every year she organises these sorts of things with some friends of ours, usually followed by a roast and some drinks.

"We had one planned at the weekend. All was set — I'd been with her to buy chocolates as prizes, and she'd been writing the clues at home that week. I didn't suspect a thing.

"The day of we woke up suuuuper hungover, having been over at a friend's until late the night before. My now wife was a state — she had to sit down in the bathtub to shower. Suspiciously, our friends began to cancel one by one until it was only my wife and I left. At this point, still oblivious, I said, 'Let's rearrange it to next week,' to which she responded, 'No — I've put a lot of effort into this'.

"We start the 'hunt', I'm given the first clue, and have a realisation — the clue is pretty obviously addressed directly to me. It's about a specific memory that my wife and I share. I suddenly clock that this wasn't intended for a group. I start to panic (in a nice way). My wife, still hungover, is probably less chipper than she'd imagined being in this moment but it's great fun dashing through the city visiting sites relevant to our relationship. We stopped for a Domino's pizza halfway through to help with the hangover.

"The clues led to a pretty park in our city, to a bench we'd spent a lot of time on over the summers. The last 'clue' was her proposal, and she brought out a box of engagement rings she'd designed and had made. They have pieces of meteorite set rather than any precious stone.

"It was absolutely terrifying for me, to be honest, in the best possible way. I'd always been a bit of a Grinch about proposing but being on the receiving end of it is genuinely one of the nicest things to have happened to me. I felt right special in that moment!

"TL;DR — big hangovers, little lies, and a treasure hunt through the city that led to a piece of a shooting star."

2) Chikeerafish wrote this:

"I proposed to my fiancé!

"When we were dating, I showed him a cute proposal video, and he came back with 'Is it weird I always imagine myself as the woman in these videos?' I was like 'Absolutely not, when we decide to get married, would you like me to propose?' He was shocked in a good way and excited about the idea, so of course it's what I did!

"So when we'd been together around four and a half years, I started planning. We love video games and escape rooms and D&D and such, so I decided I wanted to use an escape room to propose. It took some time, but I found a place who was willing to adapt puzzles to customize it for me, and that had a room theme he'd love. I picked myself a ring (because just because I proposed doesn't mean my inner crow doesn't want my pretty shiny sparkle rock) and we determined he should get a fancy watch, so he picked himself one.

"I'd planned to propose on our 5th anniversary, and I was slick AF [AS F**K] about it until the DAY before. Just over a month out, I booked the escape room and recruited our two best friends to come with (because you can't do an escape room with two people and because these people are our maid of honor and best man, so the most important friends in our lives.) So then I start slyly dropping 'Oh, hey, what do you wanna do on our anniversary,' knowing I'd booked the room and also knowing he tends to be indecisive on things. A week or so later, I go 'Hey -maid of honor- told me about this cool escape room she went to for work! Would you wanna do that?' (True, though she told me about it a year previously). He's like 'oh, yeah!' and I went 'Oh, well, I guess we can't really do it with two people. Maybe we see if MOH [Maid of Honor] and BM [Best Man] wanna come?' And he's excited about this. Again, I've already confirmed they're coming, so I do this whole 'Okay! I'll ask them.' Eventually I do the same thing with 'OK, so which room do you want to do?' And he continues to be indecisive so I'm like 'Oh, this alien one seems cool, it's an hour and a half long and has a challenge mode!' (already booked by me) and he's like 'Awesome, let's do that!' I play up asking his best friend, our roommate, who 'agrees' like he hasn't already. Eventually I casually mention my best friend had agreed to go, too, and 'book' the room.

"Now, he took longer than I thought picking a watch. So we get two about two weeks out and we go back to the store and he finally picks. Awesome, right? Wrong. They're like 'Oh, it'll be two weeks before this comes in. Oh, wait, I don't know if it's in stock, could be up to twelve weeks.' And I'm like 'Oh, hell no. This is not gonna screw this up for me!' We talk to the salesguy, who says he'll let us know as soon as he knows, and that there's nothing he can do. We put the deposit on the watch and we go home. I'm sad, but I'm like, 'All right, there's still time.' So I start making alternative plans in case and coordinating with his friends to plan a scavenger hunt because I don't want to propose without the watch. I contact the escape room and say thanks for everything, we're still gonna come, but I'm not gonna propose that day. I'm really sad about it.

"But THEN. The DAY before, at 3pm, I get a call from the store. The watch came in. The problem is, I lost my wallet at lunchtime today, and I need to pay the remainder of the balance. I'm freaking out trying to find a way to get the $400 I need and not tip my fiancé off. My coworker offers to lend me money, but I opt to claim to my fiancé that I need to borrow his card for a last-minute gift (it was our anniversary the next day, mind you). I leave work early to rush to the store and actually manage to find my wallet on the way home, sans my credit card but with my debit card still there! I go and get the watch and start texting and emailing people to try to make this happen in less than 24 hours. I email the escape room, the woman gets back to me superfast and is like, 'Get me the watch by 11am tomorrow' and I'm like, 'Cool, cool, cool.' I text our friend who is taking our dog in the morning and get him to secretly take the watch when he takes out the dog and drop it off for me. Awesome. I text our friends and say, 'I got it — it's happening tomorrow. We all freak out. I go buy fancy champagne. My fiancé is wondering where I am, and I'm making all sorts of excuses. I get home, smuggling the watch and champagne in my backpack.

"Next morning, I wake up early and pack the watch at the bottom of the dog's bag. Our friend show up, looks at me and goes, 'Everything in here?' I go, 'Yup,' and he goes on his way, texting me he dropped it off and good luck. I'm freaked out and nervous and excited AF. We go to the escape room and meet my friend there, and I act like I don't know the woman at the front desk. We do the escape room and my fiancé is determined not to take hints and the rest of us are like, 'NO, WE WANT THE HINT.' We make it to the end, and in the last compartment is his box and the real end of the game piece wrapped in writing that says 'open second.' I grab it and tell him how much I love going on adventures with him, and how I want to go on adventures with him for the rest of our lives. He's stunned in the absolute best way, and obviously says, 'Yes,' of course, and we're getting married in less than eight months!

"I've since asked him how much I managed to actually surprise him, because he knew it was coming — he just didn't know when or how. Apparently even with all my weirdness on Friday, and the fact that I was real nervous when we were late on Saturday he still wasn't expecting it. In his words, 'I kind of figured you would have had a whole day planned, So it threw me off that you said you didn't know what you wanted to do after the escape room. It crossed my mind that you might do it there, but I sort of dismissed it. Plus I didn't think the watch had come in yet.'

"Overall 12/10 experience despite the stress, would recommend."

3) Dadcrow wrote, "My friend got tired of waiting, bought a ring and threw it at her boyfriend. I don't think that it was a light throw either. He said yes."

68. "What's the Most Wholesome Experience You have Had?"

susie-hatter, the writer of the question, added, "I'm feeling kinda blue today, and it would mean a lot to me if you shared something that makes you smile every time you remember it."

1) pcgiac wrote this:

"Having a perfectly balanced day of productivity, me-time, and quiet socializing with people I genuinely care about. Most recently, last week: an awesome workout in the morning (me-time), having lunch with my mom and dog (socializing), an escape room and tea with coworkers (socializing), a very flowy and tranquil yoga class (me-time), having dinner with my boyfriend (socializing). I'm a major introvert so this balance of yin/yang (doing/being, if you will) is hard to nail down, but the few times it happens, life feels perfect and wholesome.

"Also, just moments lazing around in bed or taking walks with my family/boyfriend and dog. I find that the simplest things in life are often the most wholesome. :)

"I hope you feel better. <3 Take care of yourself!"

2) lilacsweetener wrote this:

"A high school friend of mine travelled to the little coastal beach town I lived in at the time and we caught up. Hadn't seen her in about five-six years. We had a great catch up and then we wanted to see if we could catch a beachside sunset. Her cousin knew of a secret beach in the area, so we drove there. I swear ... this beach sat on the edge of heaven. There was this odd hush over the place, like we all spoke in a low murmur because there was this calm that couldn't/shouldn't be broken. Even when I was walking along and sunk into some wet sand our laughs didn't really break the hush.

"The sunset was the most jaw dropping I've seen so far, and we all just stood there staring at it, completely overwhelmed.

"Afterward we were sort of speechless ... we all kept saying it was a special experience, something different ... it just felt very significant somehow."

3) KnittenAndBitchin wrote this:

"Thanksgiving a few years ago. My brother was in the Navy and we thought he couldn't make it for the holiday. But he told me, in secret, that he could make it the day after and wanted to surprise everyone. So I told Mom, 'Oh, hey, you know since I'm a grown-up and don't care about the day of, why don't we just do Thanksgiving on Friday so that my niece doesn't have the split the holiday. She can spend the day of with her mom, then come to your house and we'll have Thanksgiving 2.0.' Mom and Dad thought it was a fine idea.

"About mid-day Friday, my brother texted me that he was at the door. When the bell rang, I told my niece, 'Huh, I wonder who that is? Can you get that, please? You move faster than Nana or me.' She's big on helping so she ran to the door, and from the front hall we heard an ear-splitting 'DADDY!' My mom jumped up and started sobbing at the sight of him. He picked up his daughter and swung her around and crushed Mom in a bear hug. Dad just kept shaking his hand and patting his back. Deception complete. It was a good visit."

4) Inner_Department3 wrote, "I love to sing. One day I was in line at a convenience store and was singing along with the radio. It was Paula Abdul: 'Straight up, now tell me / do you really wanna love me forever?' And this random stranger behind me sings the next part: 'Oh, oh, oh ....' I'm still happy thinking about it."

5) oofnomejodas wrote this:

"When I was 17, I had a summer job at a retail store. [...] A month into working there, I loved spending my time there because I admired my team there and the work I did. I became very close with one of my coworkers there who was over twice my age and had two kids who were already in college. She very quickly became a mother figure for me. I would feel so comfortable around her and she would make sure I was healthy, doing well in school, making sure I ate (where if I hadn't, she would go to the break room and cut persimmons for me without me asking her) and most importantly, she made sure I was always smiling. It often surprised me to think about how she hadn't been in my life until that summer. I ended up having to quit five months into working there, but I still came during her lunch breaks just so I could spend those 45 minutes with her.

"One day I left my house in the late hours of the evening and I called her crying and she told me to go to her house. I had never been to her house before but when I got there, her husband already knew my name. Apparently, she always told stories of funny things that happened to us at work or just simply talk about me to him and that's why he already knew me. They cooked me a quick meal and she sat down to talk to me, and we sat down on the couch together watching tv. I've honestly never felt so much genuine care and love from another person in my life who was not my parent. She didn't have to be so sweet to me and caring just because I was her coworker. I loved her as a mother, and she loved me as a daughter. It seems like such a simple act of kindness, but I owe my best memories to her.

"I hope this made you smile, and I hope tomorrow is a better and great day for you! Much love."

oofnomejodas added, "I am still in touch with her, hard not to talk to her when she made such a small put impactful moment in my life. :)"

6) Supa_lonely wrote, "When I was younger, I was playing in a river with my brother. My old dog has always been terrified of the water and refused to ever go in it, but he thought at some point I was drowning and despite his fears he jumped in and swam out to me. It's been a very long time, but it still makes me smile and touches my heart."

susie-hatter commented, "You reminded me of a dog we had when I was in middle school. When my little sister dived deep into the pool, this dog would jump instantly, dive, and pull her out to the stairs like she was his little puppy. Dogs are awesome."

7) questionssnanswers wrote, "I've always felt like the ugly duckling in my group of my friends. They're all extroverted pretty skinny girls who know how to flirt. I'm slightly chubby and stay quite to myself although I do enjoy music and clubs. One time at a club my friends were dancing on a stripper pole seductively while I was sitting on the booth listening to music a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious and a stranger said to me, 'I can tell you're a bit self-conscious. You shouldn't be. I can tell you carry yourself well. Show it,' and then walked off. I still look to this advice whenever I feel 'ugly'."

69. "What Do You Like About Your Father?"

1) Jolly-Accident wrote this:

"He was a complete workaholic when I was a kid. He worked three jobs, many overnight shifts, only home for a few hours a week.

"He worked himself to the bones to dig us out of debt. He made sure we had food, clothes, and a bed.

"He worked so that I could thrive. He is incredible."

twotonekevin commented, "My dad was the same. He never really reared my sisters and me because he was rarely around, but that's because he was constantly working. You could argue that it's similar to an absentee father, but I don't agree because he was working his buns off to make sure we didn't go without. I never held it against him, and it actually made me admire him even more."

Spencerspencer8008 commented, "You could argue that it's similar to an absentee father.' This is every working dad's fear, that they'll work their bones off to provide for their family and their children will think of them of neglectful for not spending enough time with them."

twotonekevin replied, "I feel kinda bad for people who think that way because they can't seem to step back and appreciate the sacrifice a father (or a mother) is making for their betterment. Much less than they deserve when they're trying to give their kids the world."

2) B[*]tch-[*]ss-Irkin523 wrote, "He is super caring and supportive of me. When I first came out, he joked around with me, always asking me if any girls hit on me that day. He and my mom brought me to a pride parade and let me wear my flag, which my dad bought me a few weeks prior, as a cape."

3) inksmudgedhands wrote this:

"He got me into sci-fi and all things rock as a wee tot. He was never one of those dads who were like, 'You are a girl. So, you must like these girly things.' Nope. He was like, 'You are my kid. Here's Black Sabbath. Here's KISS. I am taking you to see _The Empire Strikes Back_. Let me introduce you to _Doctor Who_. It's the Tom Baker version.'

"I knew about bands like The Ramones and The Clash before I even knew the term 'punk.' And that's because he was my gateway drug into rock. Thanks, Pop."

cwtaylor1229 commented, "In June, I am going to become a father to my first child (who is a girl) and this is essentially my plan."

4) psyduuuckkk wrote this:

"The fact he made it out of a maximum-security prison alive despite being one of only three inmates who were Caucasian.

"He has a swastika tattoo and 'white power' tattooed on his chest.

"He's Australian.

"Edit: I don't like him, but this random fact alone is just hilarious to tell people."

70. "To Those Redditors Who Got Their Make-A-Wish Granted, But Lived to Grow Up, What's Your Story?"

1) imsomessedup wrote this:

"Make-A-Wish isn't only for terminally ill kids; it's for any kid who experiences a life-threatening illness.

"My family got two wish trips. My sister has cystic fibrosis; she chose Disney. We did three days at the Give Kids the World Village, then did a three-day Disney cruise to the Bahamas.

"They do EVERYTHING for you. Limousine to the airport, a welcome sign at the gate, red carpet to the plane, limousine to the resort. EVERY character meet and greet, unlimited fast-pass, behind-the-scenes stuff. I was pretty young, but I was totally blown away by it. It was honestly so special to all of us.

"Then five years later I got cancer. Yay. [Sarcasm.] I chose a safari in Africa. It was amazing. We were on a private tour (so in our own truck, not just crammed on a bus) and the tour guide went SO far out of his way to make sure we saw everything. At one point he even noticed a dung beetle rolling a turd down the road and stopped so we could all see it.

"All in all, Make-A-Wish is freaking amazing. God tier. They even make the day you choose your wish special. I remember finally being well enough to think about it, it was the first time in over two years I'd felt any kind of light? Hope? Sorry that sounds corny, but that day was a real turning point in my recovery. I'll never not be grateful for Make-A-Wish and both of the trips. Were they worth the cancer? Nah. But still, amazing."

2) CatKirsten wrote this:

"The Make-A-Wish was for my chronically ill brother, who was thought to not live much longer. I think it's six years ago, now? He wanted to go to Austria once more, because we used to go there every year for holiday, before his illness became so heavy that we could no longer go. By surprise, they also asked me if I wanted something. I'm also chronically ill but by FAR not as bad as my little brother. I wanted to see behind the scenes at the airport, since I loved airplanes.

"And so we went, by plane, to Austria. Stayed in an expensive hotel. We as a family had the best time ever. It's still an experience we hold close to our heart. My brother is now 14 year old, and he is doing better than ever. We no longer have nurses coming daily; we do all the medical care ourselves. He hasn't been to the hospital for quite a while (most of his life was spent staying in hospitals), and he's building a career as an amateur DJ. Being ill definitely gave him some of the chances he got.

"For me, medically I'm doing great. I no longer need extra nutrition and I rarely have hospital check-ups. I still think about Make-A-Wish a lot."

3) ryandva wrote, "I had stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma when I was 15 (eight years ago). My mom jokingly mentioned we should call Make-A-Wish and go on a trip with the whole family. Well, we followed through and I'll tell you the Make-A-Wish people are some of the absolute kindest individuals that you could ever hope to be running an organization like that. They were at our house within days and fulfilled my wish to go to Hawaii with my family. They put us up in a 5-star Hilton resort and gave us [money] to spend on what we chose, including a rental car, food and drinks, and excursions. I'm so thankful for that foundation, and I hope I can give back one day as well."

71. What was the Best Moment in Your Life? One that Made You Go — 'If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is.'"

1) nesii31 wrote, "I sat on my bed with my best friend, each of us playing Pokémon Sun and Moon on our Nintendo DS. Not much talking aside from occasional comments about what we managed to catch. It was a perfect way to spend an afternoon / evening, just the two of us. If I could go back to any moment in time, it'd be that day."

2) Imroadends wrote, "Finally leaving work for the last time before I started travelling indefinitely. Absolute freedom!"

Imroadends added, "My partner and I saved and sold most of our belongings in the months leading up. It finally felt real when I walked out of the office."

3) cbratty wrote this:

"I went parasailing in Belize on my 28th birthday. I was by myself and it was at an island used for only one cruise line, so it was so empty. I got up in the air and truly giggled the entire time, it was so god[*]mn great. Then when I got down, we all got off the boat, I drank a glorious margarita, lay in the sand, and swam in the ocean. It was a great day.

"I don't know if it was the best moment of my life, but it's pretty high up there."

4) ItsChlowey wrote, "I moved across my country for a job. Three of my colleagues became my best friends and one of them my boyfriend. We went on a road trip to a city for Christmas and as we were singing (screaming) along with the music in the car I realized I was having the best time of my life. This was three months ago, and everything is as good as that one day."

5) spanglesandbambi wrote, "While my best friend and I were going to the beach, the car broke down on the way but we had so much fun. I had lost my mum to cancer six months prior, and I just remember thinking, 'You know what? It's not ideal without out her, but this is going to be ok.'"

6) nikkikapow18 wrote, "I got notification that I'd passed a certification exam. The next morning in the shower, I was overwhelmed by the thought that my salary increase would be literally life changing. Happiest tears ever."

7) LizzyBarry wrote, "Man, I have a few good ones. The few moments after I got the call that I got into my law school of choice where I got to just sit and cry and finally breathe and I was the only one who knew. The night after my husband proposed. We were in Sorrento, Italy, at dinner, eating boatloads of pasta and cannoli, and we had zero cares in the world. Our wedding day. Specifically after running down the aisle. As soon as the church doors closed behind us, it was silent, the summer sun was hot, and we were completely alone and together, and we were married."

**72.** **"** **What is Your Funniest Memory that Still Makes You Laugh?"**

1) kryspypatata wrote, "A childhood memory: My cousin and I chased each other, and then he wanted a quick drink of water. He stormed the fridge and saw a glass of water ready inside. I can still hear his voice like it happened a while ago, 'Oh, looks like someone knew I was gonna want a glass of cold water'. He started drinking, eyes closed as if in a commercial when he felt something touched his lips. He opened his eyes and saw my gramma's full upper and lower denture. Eyes wide open, he froze a little but still finished the water."

2) Choate2626 wrote this:

"Back as a teen in high school, in the pre-internet days, I had found out how to sew a cloak (big D&D/fantasy nerd) and took it to a buddy's house to show it to him.

"I got there, his mom said he was still asleep, go in, and wake him up. I walked in his room ... couldn't resist. Room was half dark, just a little light coming through the blanket he had over his window.

"So, I throw the cloak on, made sure the hood is fully over my head, and then bend over and shake him awake. Ya know that _Tom and Jerry_ cartoon where Jerry scares Tom and he literally starts climbing the walls ... yeah, it was kinda like that ...

"That was almost 30 years ago, and I still can make him cuss like a sailor just by mentioning it ...."

3) rabbitofrevelry wrote this:

"A group of us were going to drive in a couple cars to a restaurant. I had to fart before we took off, so I hopped out of the car that was taking me and knocked on the window of another friend's car, signaling her to let me in.

"I sat down, did the silent deed, then got back out. I immediately turned around and saw her gagging. I got back into the first car and the driver (her brother) knew exactly what I did. We laughed the whole way to the restaurant. He loved it because when they were kids, he'd crop dust her room all the time.

"When we got to the restaurant, she wouldn't talk to me. But when we were about to leave, she finally said, 'I thought nothing could be worse than my brother's farts, but I was wrong. I had the windows down the whole way here and I could still smell it. I can still smell it.'"

4) Back2Bach wrote this:

"The time during a church service when the altar boys (who were normally very well behaved) broke out laughing while the priest was swinging the thurible, incensing the altar and host.

"The boys were kneeling directly behind him at the altar. Apparently, the priest let out a series of loud farts as the incense (smoke) was rising.

"The altar servers couldn't keep a straight face, but no one else knew why they were laughing because the organ covered the sound while the incense masked the smell."

5) 1014187912 wrote, "My son used to call bananas 'buh-mee-nuhs' and then 'mee-nuhs' and my sister and I tried so hard to correct this. One day my son wakes up and we go to get breakfast and he said, 'I want banana,' and I said, 'All right, dude, I'll get you a mee-nuh!' Without thinking.

Imheretovent_yeet wrote this:

"There was this one time my older sister and I were at a church camp, and the leaders took all 20+ of us to get ice cream at Chick-Fil-A. And of course. All these little 1st through 5th graders got brain freeze. And my older sister, the 5th grade genius she was, told all the other little kids if they slammed their heads against the tables, it would get rid of the brain freeze.

"And all the kids listened. So there was 20+ kids just SLAMMING their heads against tables to try and get rid of the brain freeze. The leaders were so confused and concerned, and my sister was just laughing her butt off."

73. "Twins of Reddit, What's the Best Switcheroo You've Managed to Pull?"

1) jablva wrote this:

"I visited my identical twin brother at his college where a lot of his floor didn't know he was a twin. That night he had some people over in his apartment, and I hid in the bedroom.

"Note: He has a beard and I don't.

"While they were hanging out (and me hiding), he announces to the group that he's tired of his beard and is gonna shave it off, so he escapes to the bedroom where I'm hiding as if to shave. We switch clothes and I walk back out to the group with my bare face. Everyone takes note and, while it's generally an unusual thing to do at a party, nobody thinks much of it.

"After a bit I announce, 'Ya know, I kinda miss my beard. I think I'm gonna grow it back'. At which point I go to the other room where my bearded twin is hiding. We switch clothes back and he walks back out to the group immediately re-bearded. People lost their freaking minds."

2) Gogo726 wrote this:

"My sister was friends with a pair of twins in high school. They shared a single season pass to the local amusement park. The pass has your photo on it. So twin 1 would use the pass to get in, then they'd slip out of view and slide it through the gate to the twin outside and use the pass to get the other twin in."

"I have a friend whose kids are regularly babysat by twin girls. He was telling me that whenever the twins would go clothes shopping, they'd go together. Twin 1 would find an item she likes, so Twin 2 would go into the changing room and then come out to model it."

3) thetanpecan14 wrote, "My identical twin and I shared the same gym membership in our hometown for years. One of us would go in the morning, and the other would go in the evening. I think the workers just assumed we were one person that was REALLY into fitness."

4) IDressUpLikeBroccoli wrote, "I dated a twin once and early in the relationship when I was picking her up on a date her sister came out and I was like, 'Hey' and kept waiting. She got really weird and close but like hesitantly. Turns out they were 'testing' me to see if I could tell the difference. Then they wrestled each other in the living room of their parents' house for a solid 30 min. It was as awkward as it sounds."

AmIAThrowAwayAccount commented, "I once dated a twin, too, but never got tested, but I could always tell them apart. I think it helped that her twin was male."

**74. "** What's Your Favorite Memory of One of Your Grandparents? **"**

1) knocknareed wrote this:

"I found a tiny locket-style picture of a young man in my grandmother's sewing cabinet one day when I was 14 and my grandma was 90. I asked her who it was, and she said it was someone she had been seeing at the same time she met my grandfather (1940s, wartime). She was drop-dead gorgeous in her early twenties and she would go on dates with a rotating list of five or six men. But this one had been her favorite until she met Grandpa, because he was from another country and had a sexy accent.

"'Don't tell your grandfather I have this,' she said, putting it back in her sewing cabinet underneath some swatches. "He wouldn't like it very much."

"I just thought that was so funny. Not only had she been hiding this photograph for SEVENTY YEARS, she believed my grandfather would be jealous of a dude she hadn't seen since then. Grandpa was, like, well aware he was in competition with every other non-soldier in the major metropolitan area when they started dating. When he called for her at her apartment her roommates used to answer the phone saying, 'Which one are you?'"

2) SmallWhiteFluff wrote this:

"My grandma was pretty crazy, abrasive, and stuck in the cycle of poverty. She lived next door to my mom, who had her own sh[*]t going on and couldn't be [*]ssed to be a parent. So I stayed/lived with my grandma until I was sixteen. She was more of a mother to me while I was growing up than my mother was.

"My sweetest memory of her is when I was four or five and she let me pick out birthday presents at the Dollar General and then we came home and wrapped them so I could turn right around and open them. She was crazy and we had our moments, but I was her baby. I'm crying as I type this now. She died three years ago (when I was 36!) and I miss her so much."

Somedaysjustsuck commented, "You made me cry. My grammie was also a bit crazy. She passed 10 years ago, and I miss her every day. She helped raise me and my sister since my parents were young. My dad was in the military. As a joke, she told me as a joke when I was eight months pregnant that I was getting chubby. I just looked at her and rolled my eyes. She was also joking with her 13 grandkids."

3) RegularWoahMan wrote this:

"My maternal grandfather was teaching me to play pool one summer when I was about 10. I knew the basics, but we were practicing. I made this miraculous shot that I had calculated (ish). He was amazed and told me he'd buy me a sundae if I could do it again.

"I did.

"The sundae tasted even better knowing that I earned it by making my grandfather proud."

4) jessper, a woman, wrote, "Might not be the best but it's my favorite because it was the funniest. When I was about 16, I heard my very proper, who never drank or swore, grandmother yell out to her dog, 'Come here, Maggie, you little dildo!' I about fell on the floor and then I had to ask if she knew what that word meant. Because she didn't. And then I had to explain it to her while my mother, aunt, and two brothers stood there with their jaws on the floor. It was and remains a family legend."

5) Rise_ToThe_Occasion write this:

"For my maternal grandfather, I loved visiting his house in the winter. One year, I stumbled across a stray dog. He followed me back to the house, and my grandfather gave me some strips of bacon to feed him. He was always such an animal lover, and he nurtured that in me.

"Then there was my paternal grandmother. I remember calling her in the mornings, before train rides. She would tell the best stories. I loved her stories. A few years back, she had a stroke that robbed her of her speech. Every word was a struggle, and sentences, let alone stories, were no more. It broke my heart. One night, I drove to see her and got in late, after she was already in bed. I went to go see her, and she looked at me with a beautiful light in her eyes and told me, 'You are so beautiful.' Clear as day. It was the last thing she ever spoke to me.

"I miss them both every day."

6) msstark wrote this:

"One day during college I skipped my last class on a Friday and went home to have lunch with my grandma. Her smile and her open arms waiting to give me a hug are something I hope I never forget!

"She passed away a few months after that, and I'm really glad I cherished her while I could.

"That was 10 years ago, and I still miss her every day. I really hope she knew how loved she was."

7) ConnieC60 wrote, "My grandfather used to like to tease and annoy my grandmother in silly ways. When she did the washing up, he'd dry the dishes while singing and tap dancing badly and she'd shout at him and then laugh, and when she laughed hard, she'd also end up farting a lot, so she'd hide in the cupboard under the stairs, laughing and farting. She had a laugh like Muttley, the cartoon dog. They had a long relationship and always laughed."

**75. "** **People of Reddit, Those of You Who AREN'T Depressed and DON'T have Anxiety ... What is That Like?"**

1) Yorkiemama12 wrote, "My parents used to tell me and my sister we had magic parking spot powers. If we held our breath and thought about a space appearing while my parents were parking, they always found one. Looking back now I realize my parents just wanted two minutes of peace and quiet."

2) Ramiazab12 wrote, "Every day is like the sun just said, 'My guy, you're amazing.'"

Vadermaybelater commented, "Always look to the sun, many people have fought their way out of bad break-ups and tragedies by going on walks in the morning or kayaking and seeing the sun rise. It's like a primal part of us said, 'It's a new day, old friend.'"

**76. "** **What's the Nicest Thing You've Ever Heard or had Somebody Say About You When You Weren't Around?"**

1) jazztar wrote, "Yesterday I was talking with my mom and she told me that while chatting with my grandma the other day, they got onto the topic of me. My grandma told my mom I was 'such a kind soul' and that she 'absolutely adores me'. I know my grandma loves me but to hear that she said that ... made me wanna tear up a bit."

2) thed7ke wrote, "I overheard a conversation of two kids I was babysitting. I had just put them to bed, and I hear the oldest tell the youngest: 'I love (thed7ke)! She's the absolute best!! Don't you just love her?'. The other just squeaked a yes. It warmed my heart so much!"

PhinnishPharma commented, "Hearing that from kids is so pure, because you know they really mean it!"

3) andienotandy_, a female, wrote, "My best guy friend talked to my gal best friend (she's the one who relayed it to me) and said, 'She's the most genuine, quick-witted, easygoing girl you could ever ask for. She has a heart full of gold and will do anything to put a smile on your face, and I'm proud to call her my best friend.'"

Jaxxtar commented, "That's so lovely! Especially the part about him being proud to call you his best friend ... sounds like a beautiful friendship!"

4) meatbunpie wrote this:

"My director said to her entire choir that they'd better work their [*]sses off and take auditions seriously because quote, 'You've got to compete with amazing monsters like (meatbunpie) who will completely wipe you out like nothing.'

"We aren't really that close, and she's never complimented anyone before. I heard it from a friend who is in her choir, and I was so intensely touched because singing means so much to me and I respect that director a lot."

5) FyreBird197 commented, "I used to work at an outdoor waterslide park in the concession, so obviously on the hot days we were super busy. The concession was split into two sides, with the cold products, like ice cream, or salads / sandwiches on one side, and the grill and deep fryer on the other. I always worked the ice cream side. Anyways, one day, during a holiday weekend while it was super warm, we got super swamped and I ended up alone on my side with a huge line. I did my best to get through everyone quickly and efficiently while also trying to be extra nice for the grumpy people. After a while, when it slowed down, my manager came over to me to tell me that a customer had gone to her to compliment me on my efficiency and positive attitude. Made me feel pretty good!"

6) vanillhavoc wrote, "I was a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding and apparently a small child thought I was really pretty, so the mom and her went out of their way to tell the bride that she had said that. My friend told me about it on a different day, and I was super flattered because, kids."

7) dandelion505 wrote this:

"It was at a work celebration. I had been there for about two and a half months at that point, for a summer placement as a student.

"My boss didn't realize I was in hearing distance, but he was telling one of his friends about me. I heard him say, 'Man, you should've seen her during her interview. I've never, ever had a better interview. At first, I thought she was lying or something. But she's been amazing. I don't know what we'll do without her if she doesn't come back next summer.

"I really looked up to my boss, and he had managed / interviewed a lot of employees in his years, so those words made me incredibly happy. Kinda got teary-eyed upon hearing that."

8) indigoafterhours wrote, "Why the hell didn't he sit by her? Everyone in this room wants to sit by her. What's his problem?"

**77. "** **Women Out There, What is the Most Beautiful Thing That Ever Happened to You?"**

1) CatrionaShadowleaf wrote, "I was born."

2) deathposi wrote, "My boyfriend surprised me by taking me to NYC. In the middle of Central Park my all-time favorite pianist was performing a concert on the lawn. I cried. I had no idea it was happening and would have missed that beautiful experience if it wasn't for him surprising me!"

Catakitsmet commented, "Same experience! Except with Bryan Cranston on Broadway!"

3) SanguiceStars wrote, "As cliché as it sounds, falling hard in love. It's like viewing your life through a lens: Everything is bright, and your thoughts are overwhelmed with nothing but happiness. It feels like there's only one direction for you, so there's no wrong direction you can take, but it's hard to tell that it's obsession until they start to fade."

4) Redhaired103 wrote, "My then-a-street-cat decided to adopt me and patiently insisted hard."

5) meatbunpie wrote, "I was listening to a collegiate choir, and I will never forget the wash of emotions, and the raw vibrations of beauty. Their sound and repertoire were just astonishing, and my heart felt like it'd been purified. And it was so whole I cried and watched their same concert five more times throughout their performance season and still cried Every. Single. Time."

6) minie446 wrote, "A friend of mine emailed my favourite writer dozens of times to get her attention and to get her to wish me happy birthday. The writer didn't respond on the day of my birthday but a while later while I was in a video call with that friend. It was so fun seeing her reaction when she saw who the email was coming from. I have to admit I loved how excited she was even more than the fact that my favourite writer had just wished me happy birthday. It was so adorable."

7) _hunhunter wrote, "I fell in love with the most amazing woman. We split up a couple of years ago, because life is complicated, but we shared a beautiful three-and-a-bit years together. I often describe our love as transcendent."

**78. "** A Dish Best Served Cold: What is Your Most Satisfying Story of Sweet Revenge?"

1) Rexam14 wrote this:

"There was a bully in my class during high school. He used to annoy me a lot and he was making fun of me every now and then.

"During a school trip he hurt me with a whip in my hotel room. It wasn't just bad, but also I felt humiliated. I reported him to the professor immediately. This story spread across the school when we came back so everybody knew about it. The next day, the bully came to class with a black eye.

"What everybody knows is that a random guy of the school whom I never met before punched him because of what he did to me. What they don't know is that this same guy came to me after the school trip and asked me if I wanted him to 'give the bully a lesson'.

"I said yes."

2) flflate89 wrote this:

"I was bullied a lot in high school by this older guy who was in prison, but part of his penalty was to finish high school, so he was put in my class (Yay, Norway). He was f[**]king awful and I was always terrified of going to class. Well, many years later I was working with processing Welfare applications and one of the applications had his name on it and he was scheduled to have an appointment with me.

"Now, I couldn't let past experiences influence the outcome, but I got some real good insight into just how much of a loser/f[**]k-up he was. Four kids with three women, owed a lot of money, had lost every job he ever had and was living in his mother's basement. The look of shock and embarrassment on his face when he came into my office to review his application was priceless.

"I never mentioned anything that had happened and handled it all professionally, but he knew that I knew he was a f[**]king loser and how much he had bullied me. His application looked like it was filled in by a toddler and I told him based on the information he had given me I needed to talk with the mothers of his children and his own mom about his rent and what not. I even managed to find him an apprenticeship as a mechanic, and as far as I know he managed that and now works as one.

"The best revenge is living a happy life and hopefully he learned something from that whole experience."

3) Wackydetective wrote this:

"My former coworker was the most miserable woman I have ever met. She was surly and lazy and a not-so-secret racist. We worked 12-hour shifts, and from time to time we would doze off. HER ESPECIALLY. But, because none of us trusted her we always stayed awake on shifts we had with her. One night, I was exhausted and dozed off for 20 minutes. She put it in the d[*]mn morning email. The General Manager pulled her aside and said, 'We've seen the surveillance; you are asleep all the time.' We all loved our GM for that. So the next night whenever she would start snoring, I would call the office line from my cellphone on private. She would jolt awake and go to answer the phone. No one was there. I did it all night."

4) sneakyfeet13 wrote, "My older brother and I used to share a bedroom. I worked a construction job and had to be up at 4am to do hard labor. He would come in at midnight, turn on all the lights, be super loud, etc. So I bought a ton of cheap battery-powered alarm clocks and hid them all over the room. Under clothes in dresser, under the bed, in the ceiling, behind the air conditioning vent, etc. I set them to start going off 15 mins after I left for work. I had the times staggered to go off every 20 to 30 minutes. He would have to wake up and search for the alarm and then turn it off. Then 30 minutes later a different one would go off. I think I hid six in total. After that he was very respectful of my sleep."

5) dinosarahsaurus wrote this:

"This is petty as f**k but it still kills me.

"My husband has been a fisherman since he was 16 years old. Mid-30s now. It is three or four men on a 40ft boat out in the Atlantic for 72 hours at a time. Food is very important and does need to be planned.

"About three years ago, my partner's boat took on this young guy, about 24 years old. They all put their 'must haves' on the grocery list for the boat. They are usually on land for 12 hours before leaving for 72 hours. My husband's land job between trips is groceries.

"Young guy HAS to have chocolate milk with every meal, and it took a while to figure out how much he would need. Young guy couldn't actually quantify how much he needed and would sulk and refuse to work when he ran out. The final amount ended up being four gallons of chocolate milk per 72-hour trip.

"Young guy still lived at home with a doting mother, so he really was learning how to cohabitate respectfully with others. He wasn't learning fast. His biggest issue was how much he would eat. He always went first and took more than his fair share at each meal, would go through the candies on the boat and eat all the red ones, etc.

"For six months, the captain tried to explain sharing to the guy, but it just didn't sink in.

"They are in the last three weeks of the season. Grind time. Last chance to make money until next season. They are all exhausted. At night, everyone takes turns of two hours on watch driving the boat while others slept. The night of the petty revenge was my husband's night to have the last watch before dawn — the worst watch. You aren't sleeping again till well after dark.

"It is night 1 of this 72-hour trip. Groceries were fully stocked about 16 hours ago. Husband is on watch and goes to the freezer for his MUST-HAVE treat on this trip: creamsicles. He got a 12 pack. Opens the freezer. Empty creamsicle box. He wakes the captain and captain says he didn't eat any. Young guy ate 12 creamsicles on a two-hour watch.

"Husband enacts petty revenge and pours all the chocolate milk overboard and puts the empty jugs in the fridge.

"Young guy starts with 'HEY, who drank all my chocolate milk?' Glares from husband. Young guy says no more, and no one has ever spoken of the incident again. Young guy isn't great at sharing, but he has gotten much better and has stopped sulking!"

**79. "** What is One Memory that Never Fails to Make You Smile Every Time You Think About It?"

1) GlalD wrote this:

"About a year ago, I was in a discount grocery store. I had about $20 left after bills and rent, so was having to carefully pick what to buy. In the end, after umming and ahhing for a couple of minutes over whether I could afford to spend $6 on coffee I put it back on the shelf and went to the register.

"As I'm walking out of the shop, I hear a woman call after me: 'Young man, you forgot this.' I turn around and she thrusts the jar of coffee into my bag. I go to protest and she cuts me off, saying, 'I remember what it was like, not having enough money and having to go without. You take that coffee and enjoy it, mate,' with the biggest smile on her face. She was like a beacon of light during one of my darkest times, and I always remember her; with every cup of coffee I can't help but smile. Because now each cup reminds me there are truly good people in the world."

2) randomelectrician wrote, "This reminds me of a story. My son got pneumonia when he was five. He was in the hospital for four days and they finally sent us home with $400 worth of prescriptions. His Medicaid had gotten messed up somehow and turns out he was uninsured. We were broke as f**k at the time and had just paid the mortgage so $400 wasn't in the cards. I had about $250 to my name. I drove around to different pharmacies trying to see if it was cheaper. About the 8th pharmacy I went to, the pharmacist said, 'Let me check the price,' went in the back and handed me the prescriptions and just smiled. I tried to ask how much they, cost and he just kept smiling. I'll never forget that guy. I'm a 6'3", 250lb construction worker, and I cried all the way home."

3) 100thatpetty wrote this:

"My mom would sing and dance in the kitchen every Sunday morning when I was growing up. Times were always tough, and money was always tight, but my mom always made sure we were happy and healthy.

"One particular day when I was eight, I was woken up by the sound of Gloria Gaynor's 'I Will Survive' blasting through the house and my mom singing off-key. As I walked to the kitchen the smell of chorizo and eggs filled the air and there I saw her.

"My mom, who only a few days earlier looked so miserable with her life, was dancing her heart out with a spatula in hand.

"When she passed away seven years later, I cried every time I thought of her, except for this memory. This is the only memory that got me through her death. It not only makes me smile every time I think of it but it's my favorite memory of all time because I'm so lucky to remember her for who she was."

4) CalangoJango wrote this:

"The first time my daughter spoke an intelligible word. She woke up in the morning and looking at me said, 'Papa!'

"The funny part is that my wife had, according to her, the perfect plan. She would say, repeatedly, to the baby, the word 'Papa', then, supposedly, when the baby would need anything, she would call me and not my wife.

"It worked to a certain point. Now she's jealous that the first word was 'Papa.' But when the baby wants something, she calls for her mommy, most of the times."

GemTheNerd commented, "I did the same with our first. I secretly repeated 'dadadad' to our son every chance I got. Seeing the happiness light up my husband when the first word out of his beloved son's mouth was his name was absolutely worth it. :)"

5) brow3477 wrote, "My first-time coming home from college. I was worried my dog would forget me while I was gone. But when I walked through the door, she LOST HER SH[*]T. I've never felt so loved. And relieved."

6) UYScutiPuffJrr wrote, "I used to work for a landscaping company cutting grass in industrial parks. One day I was cutting a huge piece of lawn after a light rain and stirred up a bunch of bugs. Some swallows must have noticed and went on a sort of feeding frenzy all around me for like one-half hour. I would be riding along, and a bird would swoop what felt like inches from my head, and then spiral all around to catch more bugs. After watching them for a minute or so I knew they wouldn't crash into me, so it was like being given a private air show."

7) importantsphere wrote this:

"My mom found out she had stage-4 lung cancer when I was two and passed away when I was six. When she got diagnosed, she was given six months to live, so, needless to say, she gave us lots of amazing memories and really lived in the moment.

"The one story I always tell when talking about my mom was how one day, she let me and my older sister stay home, which was a big deal in 1st and 3rd grade already. We went to Bulk Barn and got EVERY item we wanted. When we got home, we snuggled in my parents' bed, spread out what felt like a never-ending number of bags of chocolate/candy, and watched Disney movies all afternoon. When my dad came home from work, he just jumped right in and joined us.

"It was right before she went into hospice and the last 'good day' I remember her having before she passed so the memory holds a special place in my heart."

**80. "** **What's the Kindest Thing a Stranger has Ever Done for You, Without Asking for Anything in Return?"**

1) irishcreamcoffee94 wrote this:

"I was struggling through college, had maybe $30 in my account and REALLY needed gas (I commuted 25 miles to campus every day). I pull in and it's full, but a guy waves me down to pull in behind him. He says, 'Hey, I bought more than I needed so there's about $10 of gas still on there.'

"I almost started crying, because that got me almost four gallons of gas. It really helped me out in a bad time, and I'm forever grateful."

jayecal commented:

"I had something very similar happen years ago.

"I was on my way to work (about 40 miles away) and stopped at a gas station 10 minutes away from my house for $20 of fuel. I went to pay and discovered that my account was almost empty. A payment that shouldn't have been taken for another four days had been taken early. (At the time I didn't have any credit cards so I couldn't have used one of them.) So I stepped out of line and called my parents to grab the $20 I had forgotten on my nightstand. But before the call could even connect, this older gentleman came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'It's taken care of,' and then just walked off before I could even respond.

"It took me a minute to register what he was even talking about. Then the gas station attendant explained it.

"I never got that guy's name. I've never seen him around since. I have no idea who he is or anything. I doubt he knew me either."

2) ishman025 wrote, "Gave me a lift to my university bus. I just missed the bus and was running behind it. Then a person from a micro on the road shouted at me to hop in. So I just hopped in without a second thought. They hurriedly went for the university bus and stopped in front of it so I could catch it."

3) 2Zvezda wrote this:

"A couple of months ago, a really nice Dutch couple gave us a ride to the airport. I was with my mum and returning back home after dropping out of university. It was the period of time in February where there were extremely strong winds, which had caused the train lines to be stopped temporarily. Then we would have had to wait for buses, etc. If it wasn't for them, we may have missed our flight.

"One thing that never fails to surprise me is how welcoming, polite, and considerate the Dutch people are."

4) Sharkbait423 wrote, "In high school my class had Secret Santa. When the day came, my Secret Santa forgot to get me anything. He asked what I wanted so he could get me something over the winter break. I told him it was no big deal and not to bother. After the winter break, to my surprise these two other students brought me a bag full of candy. Probably the nicest thing someone has done for me."

5) fiftynineminutes wrote, "I had a flat tire in a very rural area and the car didn't have a jack. It was raining. I knew I was in for a long wait. Then all of a sudden, this guy comes running down the driveway with an umbrella and a jack. We changed the tire so fast and then he wished me well and ran back down the driveway. It was surreal."

6) Duck-Yo-Couch wrote, "Changed my flat tire for me in a parking lot. As soon as I was getting out of the car, he was already standing at my trunk asking me to open up so he could get the spare and take care of it. He wouldn't even let me help. I was 19 or 20 years old at the time and a big guy so I could have handled it myself, but for whatever reason he seemed like he wanted to help someone, and I just happened to be that person there for him to help. I tried to slip him some money at the end and he refused and told me to have a good day. I wish that guy the best."

7) letter_y wrote, "When I was 19, I had a flat tire, and a kind stranger and his daughter were walking past and the dad stopped and changed my flat without any hesitation. After that, I asked my dad to teach me and I have helped people change their tire."

8) WifeofTech wrote, "I loved my grandmother's antique sugar and creamer set. I wanted one of my own when I got married, but my grandmother was still using hers. So I started my quest of searching for a similar set. Apparently that particular plastic set was either not popular or not many survived because the set was incredibly hard to find. I finally just posted a description of what I was looking for on an antiquing forum because I couldn't even find an image of it and a lady responded with a photo of the set she had. I asked her if she would sell it and told her why I wanted it. She responded that she would consider selling it, so I sent her my address and asked for a return address or a link to pay. No response but a couple weeks later I got the set in the mail (with no return address) and a sweet letter wishing me good luck in my new marriage and new home and the hope that I would cherish the set she sent me. This complete stranger that I had no idea who they were or even where they lived sent me this incredible gift. Thirteen years later, I am still using that same set and I do cherish it very much!"

9) Catnap42 wrote, "My niece was dying of cancer and my family was taking turns caring for her. She had a large dog and I had to buy dogfood when I went shopping. The dogfood she wanted came in 50 lb. bags. A clerk at the store got the bag down from the top shelf and put it in my cart and the cashier just reached over and rang it up. When I got to my car, I realized that I couldn't pick it up to put it in the car. This man came along on his way to the store, stopped, picked up the bag, put it in my trunk, and never said a word. My thanks echoed through the parking lot."

10) scratpac4774 wrote, "When I was 16/17, I was going with my family to New York, and it was supposed to be really hot there. I hadn't been on airplanes very often, and didn't know I should dress warm, especially on such long flights (flying from Portland, OR), I wore a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I also forgot to grab my sweatshirt out of my checked bag. It was a night flight, and I was freezing trying to sleep. Attendants never came by and I didn't know I could ask for a blanket. I was away from my family next to this older, foreign tourist couple, and I tried to do my best to sleep while I was freezing. I woke up after a few hours, and realized I wasn't as cold as I was before. I sat up and saw I had this hand-knitted shawl wrapped around my shoulders. The lady next to me must have seen the quizzical look on my face, as she then says in broken English, 'You shake in sleep, I have this,' pointing to the shawl. I thanked her profusely and she says, 'Go to sleep, he's sleeping,' pointing to her husband who had started to wake up. I fell back asleep for the rest of the flight and thanked her a million times more as we were getting off the plane. What a lovely woman."

11) tittychittybangbang wrote this:

"One day I was stranded in London after visiting my brother, I hate travelling and I'm from a city that's close but not so busy, so it's a bit of a shock to the system and I get stressed really easily when I'm there.

"Anyway I missed my coach back because I missed my train because I'm a piece of sh[*]t and have no sense of direction, plus I was rushing and panicking.

"I couldn't get the next coach because I was out of money and couldn't change the ticket because I'd spent SO MUCH on the f[**]king Oyster card getting around for the weekend, and I couldn't get back to my brother's because that required a working Oyster card. At this point I was really p[*]ssed off, worried, and just wanted to get home.

"I was outside the coach station and it started raining. Feeling proper sorry for myself, I just slumped into a doorway and started blubbing like an [*]ssh[*]le.

"Some girl came across the road and asked me what was wrong, she bent down to face me and her face was kind, so I told her everything and just kept crying.

"She takes out her purse, hands me a fiver, tells me to change my ticket and that it's going to be okay. Then she gave me a massive hug and ran back across the road to the cafe she was sat outside.

"I went back in, changed my ticket, and got home. I never even got her name, but I think about her every now and then when I'm really stressed or sad and remember how a complete stranger reached out to me when I couldn't help myself."

12) MiniatureTyler wrote this:

"About four years ago, my family and I were on a road trip to Florida. At the Mississippi / Alabama state line, we got out to take pictures at the sign, like families and tourists tend to do. Spent about five minutes there, exchanged some pleasantries with a father-son duo doing the same thing, then went on our way.

"Fifteen minutes later on the highway, we're just casually chatting in the car, when we hear a honk coming from behind us. I look over, and it's a massive, white truck. It's the father and son. And the son is waving MY PHONE. Apparently, I had dropped it at the sign. We both quickly pull over, and I get my phone back.

"What amazes me is that they caught up to us at all. We were going 70-80 and had a good head start on them. That means they were on a MISSION to get my phone back to me and gunning it.

"The best part about it all? It was Christmas Day, so I'll always consider their kind actions as one of my favorite Christmas presents."
Chapter 5: Questions 81-100

**81. "** **What is the Best Thing Someone Ever did for You?"**

1) Solioquy1985 wrote, "We were poor, and I didn't have much of anything growing up. One day my step-grandpa took me to the local Toys 'R' Us and told me to pick out something. Anything I wanted. I picked out a clear GameBoy with The Ren & Stimpy Show: Veediots! The game was a questionable choice, but I didn't even know what was considered good at the time, only that I liked Ren & Stimpy. To this day it is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me.

2) patrick2113 wrote, "For me, when I was a kid, one of my professors bought me and some other students who needed it a winter jacket."

3) NanaStone wrote, "I had just moved into my own place after (finally) leaving my now ex-husband, and my family and friends helped me move. I was scared of being on my own, worried about money and well, everything. Fast forward six months, and I'm nervous about an upcoming bill, so I started cleaning. As I was dusting my bookshelf, I moved a card out of the way and $100 fell out! Now, I know that the friend that gave me the card didn't put it there, so either a friend or family member put it there for me to find. I have the best people in my life. :)"

4) SaltyWiring wrote this:

"She treated me respectfully and stayed calm when I verbally attacked her for absolutely no good reason. I had left an abusive relationship and was staying in a shelter. I was working two jobs trying to get back on my feet. I was at that phase where you get incredibly angry at the whole world. I came home (well, to the shelter) from one job just wanting to fight everyone for no good reason at all other than I was angry at my situation.

"This woman had put her clothes in the washer and I just lost it because I wanted to do my laundry. I've never been an angry person and that was my meltdown. The whole time she kept saying, 'Please don't be rude to me,' and 'Baby, I know you think no one cares but I care, I know you're trying the best you can' (because everyone is called 'Baby' in southern West Virginia). This woman was old enough to be my mother, and I'd never had a relationship with my own mother. So, when I left my abuser, I really didn't have a support system. About 20 minutes into me calling her and everyone in my life every name in the book, I stopped on a dime because I realized how totally out of line and mean I was being. I started apologizing profusely and she forgave me straight away and we talked about our situations for a few hours. A few days later she finally got me to laugh again — an honest laugh for the first time in months. She is one of my closest friends now. She has only an eighth-grade education and jokes how she's illiterate or stupid — that breaks my heart. Her intelligence and wisdom just blow me away. She knew exactly what to do for me in that very moment. It was genius. She's raising her granddaughter as she lost her son and his wife to the opioid epidemic. She's doing a phenomenal job. That little girl is sharp as a tack. We laugh about her being a hillbilly and raising her granddaughter to be one as well, but I would have given anything to have a mother like her. She snapped me out of a very dark place and made me want to try again."

82. **"** What's a Random Act of Kindness a Stranger has Done for You that You've Never Forgotten About?"

1) Tarheelblue91 wrote this:

"When I was seven, my mom would always be home to pick me up off the school bus. Rarely, I'd have to walk home alone, but she always told me if I would have to that morning.

"This particular time, she wasn't there to get me, so I walked home not reading too much into it. When I got to the house, all the doors were locked and no cars were in the driveway. This had never happened, so of course I panicked and screamed for my mom.

"The neighbor across the street heard me and sent his wife to get me. I spent a few hours with them and their sons.

"My mom's car had broken down, which is why she wasn't able to get me off the school bus. This was in the mid-90's before everyone had cellphones so they would periodically check outside to see when she'd pull into the driveway.

"If they weren't there to take me in, I probably would've tried to walk to the house of my aunt who lived in a nearby neighborhood. I learned later that the main reason they helped me was because there had been some suspicious activity in the area involving abduction. So good thing they were there!"

2) ThatsOffensive wrote, "I've always been a very small and shy girl, so I was bullied in school until I transferred in year 6 (12 years old) and while getting a short group tour of the school building, I tripped on my way up the stairs. Normally at my previous school I would have been laughed at or teased, so that was what I expected to happen, but one of the other kids in the group rushed over to make sure I was ok, a total stranger my age showed genuine concern for my well-being, and I was so extremely shocked at this. I know now that this is the correct response to someone nearly falling down a flight of stairs, but at the time this behaviour was completely alien to me and I don't think I could ever forget it. I think that's the moment I realized that the transfer would be a fresh start, I had just assumed that because I was bullied at my last school I would be bullied at the new one as well but in that moment I realized that none of these people knew me or knew that I had been bullied before. And again, I know that this doesn't sound big but to me it was."

3) adhiyodadhi wrote, "It was a cold Halloween, I was probably in 6th grade. One of the houses I went to in the neighborhood over was giving out hot apple cider (along with candy, of course). But that cup of cider was one of the best things ever while freezing my [*]ss off for candy."

4) ryukohime wrote, "Not me but my brother, but I was there. He'd saved up money to buy his first-ever game console, the PS2 (parents bought the consoles before this). He'd saved up for months doing things like babysitting and extra chores and picking up change off the ground. He eventually saved up enough, but my parents and I warned him to make sure he can cover taxes. He said he had enough, and we believed him, so the parents drove us to Best Buy, he picked out the PS2 he wanted, and we went to checkout. I went with him for some reason I can't recall. Turns out he was short, not by a whole lot but enough that I could see his heart breaking that he was so close but not close enough. The cashier didn't even hesitate, she whipped out her wallet and covered the last of it like it was nothing. And it really was nothing, it was less than a dollar, but it made a difference. That kindness sure made an impact on me, and I paid it forward several times when I was cashiering."

5) wrench48 wrote, "Christmas 1968, I was driving back home from Fort Knox, Kentucky, for a long weekend pass. Flat tire at 2:00 am on recently opened I-69 in Indiana. Guy pulls up behind me. I walk back and speak to him: 'I pulled off because I have a flat. Why did you pull off?' He replies: 'Thought you'd like some light.' He left his headlights on. Never forgot that simple act of kindness."

6) biscuit_tapper wrote, "I missed my train/meetup with my friends while alone in Italy as a teenager. I had no idea what to do. I didn't understand the language or much of anything. A woman saw me run for the train and miss it. and she bought me a cup of coffee and explained where to go for the next train. She insisted on paying and said, 'You're in my country; you're my guest; when you see someone having a hard time someday you can help them and that will make me so happy.'"

7) ccsch wrote this:

"It happened this summer, the day after I had just moved into my off-campus apartment. I promised my friend I'd help her move in her furniture that morning, and on the way to the bus stop, a creepy man passed by and catcalled me. I didn't really acknowledge him and brushed it off. He was heading the other direction, so I figured I wouldn't see him again. But as soon as I got to the stop and texted my friend my location, I looked up and the dude was walking towards me. This man decided to follow me all the way to the stop and tell me how beautiful I look and stuff (despite looking like I crawled out of bed).

"I'm from the suburbs, so I really don't have experience in dealing with this. I tried to avoid him to no avail, then I told him no thanks, and got up to stand somewhere else. That didn't even work, as he still followed me around. I even considered leaving the bus stop area as a test, too, but I didn't know how far the next bus stop was, so I wasn't confident to leave the area. There were adults here, so it felt 'safer'. Still, I ended up breaking down from frustration and feeling so helpless.

"At one point this man decided to step up and told the creep to back off. He told him that I had no desire to talk to him and asked why he won't leave, seeing that I was crying. He mentioned he is also a father, and if he couldn't even imagine his own daughter in this position, no one should. Then, all the adults chime in, but even after that, the dude doesn't even leave and instead chooses to f[**]king argue to justify himself.

"Luckily the bus came, and the man told me to quickly get on the bus and get the hell out of here. Instead of getting on the bus, he stayed to argue with the man. I remember when the bus drove away, and I hoped the man was safe and it wouldn't escalate into a fight. I honestly don't think any of the adults would have said anything if he didn't speak up first. Wherever that man is now, I just want to tell him he's a brave hero."

8) HMSquared wrote this:

"In middle school, we were doing a group relay event and the last event was sliding across the basketball court on a scooter. I was the very last person on our team to go, and by then we had reached the end of class so the teacher said people could turn around halfway.

"I am not a fitness guru by any stretch of the imagination. But I am stubborn, so I went all the way down to the end of the court and back. We were in dead last, but I was determined to finish.

"Halfway back, someone started clapping. And before I knew it, everyone was applauding my stubbornness. None of my classmates was a stranger, but I was only really friends with a few of them. Yet they were applauding anyway."

**83. "** **A Well-Fitting Bra. A Perfectly Toasted Slice of Bread. A Puppy Tripping While Playing. What Everyday or Mundane Events Color Your Life with Joy and Delight?** **"**

1) Nyx_The_Gnome_Bard wrote, "Whenever my husband laughs or smiles. He's had a hard life and seeing him happy makes me so happy."

GuatiYogi commented, "My husband also had a hard life, as shown in that he rarely smiles or laughs. I just recently found out that he loves slapstick. I was making deviled eggs and the pouch containing the egg mixture broke and squirted all over me. I have never heard him laugh so hard. Then it dawned on me that he loves slapstick. So now I try to find movies or videos of that to send him to make him happy."

2) IDontHave20Letters wrote this:

"Getting my eyeliner just right. Fresh bedsheets. Watching cats chat at birds. Seeing my nephew chase bubbles and laugh. Making my coworkers and friends laugh. My cat. I love hearing my mom's cat's toes tippy tapping down the hall.

"Today when I scared my brother by snorting at him, my mother lost it — she was laughing so hard. Making her laugh makes my day so much better.

"I used to love watching our German Shepherd trot through the yard and scratch his butt on the bushes. He looked so tough and scary, but he was such a goofball."

3) Leroad wrote this:

"When my cat reaches her paws out to me and pulls my hand to her face for more pets.

"When I come home and cuddle my husband before he has to go to work and he lets out a sleepily content sigh. (I work night shift.)"

**84. "** **How Do You Forgive Yourself for All the Cringe/Stupid Things You've Done in the Past?"**

1) Coder-Cat wrote this:

"Try this:

"Think of the worst cringe thing your closest friend has done. You might be able to think of one or two things, which you wouldn't hold against your closest friend anyways.

"Then try to think of the worst cringe thing anyone else you know has done. I bet you draw a blank.

"The fact is, most people don't really remember the awkward or weird things other people have done. You shouldn't dwell on the things you've done because, well, no one really remembers you've done them anyways."

Beanloopy commented, "To add to this, treat yourself and talk to yourself as if you were your closest friend. You've probably reassured your best friend when they feel they've done something dumb, told them they weren't stupid, etc. Do the same thing for yourself!"

Octoberhorror commented:

"Yes! This works so well! I am always repulsed by the way I put myself down and put extreme expectations on myself. It's really terrible when you realize that you would never in a million years call your bestie 'stupid, behind, slow, idiot, worthless'. I don't deserve all that, I'm not even bad. 'I don't know why I thought it was okay to talk to myself like that.

"Just for today, I will spend the day talking nice to myself and appreciate my strengths. Thank you for this reminder — I was falling back into the negativity again!"

Beanloopy commented, "Wonderful! Except do it tomorrow, too, and the next day, and the next!"

Vodkalimesoda commented, "Something that really helped me with dealing with my clinical depression was realising that not only do I have amazing friends, but they all love me as much as I love them. Which must mean I'm pretty all right! Laughing out loud. A little different, but always worth remembering!"

**85. "** **Redditors Who Write 'Sorry, English is Not My First Language' on Perfectly Eloquent Posts, How Did You Get So Good at English?** **"**

In response to a person saying that they were German and had studied English for years in school, and another person raving about German trains, BetterThanBedder commented:

"The trains were awesome, just not cheap like I thought. My favorite train story: At a major wine festival I got separated from my people. I spent two hours looking for them and still drinking through the festival, and then I decided to hop on the train to get home.

"Somehow a lot of us joined the 'lost and abandoned drunk car because there was a ton of us who didn't speak German. Fortunately, a local checked our tickets and made sure we got off on the right stops. He didn't work for the train, but he helped 30ish people get home that night. He was good people; I'll always remember that."

**86. "** **If You've Ever Asked the Universe for Some Kind of Sign and Got It Clear as Day, What was It and How Did It Go?** **"**

1) GargleHemlock wrote this:

"When my mom died, I was pretty destroyed. We were very close. I was feeling like I couldn't understand how to live in the world without her. One day I was driving home from work, depressed as hell, and I started thinking how much I'd love it if I could get a sign from her — surprising myself a bit, as I'm not at all religious and am highly skeptical about things like signs from the universe. But I missed her so much that I mentally asked the universe for a sign.

"She really loved birds, so I thought, wouldn't it be cool if the sign came in the form of a bird. Maybe a sparrow or even a pigeon or something.

"I got home, parked my car, and walked up the path to the cottage I was renting (this was in the city of Berkeley, CA, USA). As I was unlocking the front door, off to the side a flash of color caught my eye. I turned to look, and it was a Chinese pheasant. I had no idea what it was, I had to look it up, but if you Google Chinese pheasants, you'll see why I was so blown away. It was brilliantly colored, with gold on its head and back, orange and black bars on its neck, bright red chest and blue on its wings — the most psychedelic bird I've ever seen. And it was standing on my front porch, a bird native to f[**]king China. I had no clue how the hell it COULD even be there. I thought I had to be dreaming, so I got my neighbor to come see it. We stared at it with our jaws hanging open. Then it sort of squawked and flew away.

"And it hit me, that I had asked my mom / the universe for a sign, thinking maybe a drab little sparrow or a pigeon — and what I got was a bird that was ridiculously over the top, and it was exactly the kind of joke my mom would have loved.

"I'm still skeptical and not religious and don't believe in fairies and sh[*]t, but ... that was weird, and also great."

Note by David Bruce: Possibly the Chinese pheasants was an escaped exotic pet. That doesn't stop it from being a sign from the universe, though.

2) brujahbattalion wrote this:

"I was stuck in a horrific job, eating myself to death at McDonald's. I was having a particularly shi[*]ty day and my boss had screamed at me and the other technicians over something that she (the boss) had f[**]ked up.

"I must have been looking extra miserable because this little old lady came in and noticed me sitting at a table alone and smiled at me.

"She simply said, 'Hey! Don't let 'em win.'

"It cut to my core. How could she know my fight? It's like she saw right through my defenses and nailed my f[**]king situation.

"A little while later she was leaving with her food and she smiled again and said, 'Have a nice day!' and I smiled back and told her, 'Thank you; you, too!'

So that's been my mantra ever since: 'Don't let 'em win.' It's simple, but it got me out of that sh[*]tty situation."

**87. "** **Women of Reddit, What is the Most Memorable Compliment You have Received from a Man?"**

1) myfriendsaresadder wrote, "The most memorable one for me came from a middle-aged bartender. I am pale and have long blonde hair and was wearing a royal blue dress. He gave me the most-fatherly smile and said, 'Wow, you look just like a princess! You're just missing your crown!' It was just so wholesome and not creepy at all."

2) icebbyc wrote, "My dad says I am his favorite person and the best gift he has ever received. I struggle with self-confidence, so even though I think he is exaggerating and just doing what fathers do he says it with so much conviction and love that he makes me melt."

rhc7277 joked, "My dad always told me I was his favorite daughter. I'm an only child."

3) lucidaho wrote this:

"My whole life I've felt overlooked, and that people underestimate me. I also regularly deal with imposter syndrome, so when I feel like I'm not good enough for something, if I really want it, I will feel the need to over-explain myself to others.

"I was working in the kitchen at a summer camp where we served enough food to feed 500+ people until they were satisfied. I asked my lead if I could be in charge of sending out the main course and the seconds for it. I was trying to convince him that I knew what I was doing and that I could handle it. He said, 'Hey, I know you can. You're more than capable, and you're one of the most hardworking people in this kitchen.'

"I genuinely almost cried on the spot. There have been very few moments in my life where I have felt that validated and seen."

4) anoem wrote this:

"I was at my mother's funeral. I was the 'ugly daughter' and considered myself hideous compared to my thin, beautiful sisters. Someone asked if we would all pose for a picture together. I had been crying and said something like, 'Oh my gosh, a picture now? I look like a complete wreck!'

"Instantly, the priest (an old and beloved family friend) who was standing nearby said, 'You don't look like a wreck! You look beeyooteeful!' (That was the way he spoke with his accent!) It was so spontaneous and genuine; it almost made me start crying again, for a different reason.

"We posed for the picture and it's the only picture I've ever liked of myself."

5) interrobang7 wrote this:

"Random old guy in line at the grocery store had looked behind him and did a double take. He says, 'Your glasses remind me of —' he turned to his wife (I think) and asks, 'Dear, what's his name? John something."

"Without missing a beat: 'Elton John.'

"Turns back to me: 'Yes! Elton John!'

"It's my favorite compliment I've gotten on my huge heart-shaped glasses. (And they're prescription, too!)"

88. **"** What's the Best Experience on Reddit You've had So Far? **"**

1) Back2Bach wrote this:

"The best was the time a Redditor made a convincing case regarding the importance of having fire extinguishers in your home.

"I bought two as a result. Within a year, we had a kitchen fire where the highly recommended fire extinguishers really came to the rescue.

"Thank you, Reddit!"

2) CadeFromSales wrote, "For some reason my mother just wouldn't let me get _Stardew Valley_ , saying it was 'too expensive'. This amazing person (I don't know if they want to be mentioned) saw my post and gifted me the game on Steam. I've had an amazing time playing it so far and their kindness astonishes me."

3) tenehemia wrote this:

"About seven years ago, I saw a link to a beer money post about writing romance novels. I decided to give it a shot since I'd been working as a writer for years and figured I could throw something together.

"My first couple short stories didn't sell much, but I kept learning and trying. About six months after starting, I had my first big hit. I sold tens of thousands of books, which let me travel through Europe and live comfortably for years afterwards without worrying about a job.

"I haven't written in years and changes to the industry mean it's unlikely I could recreate my success even if I tried. But I still make money off royalties every month and had a ton of experiences that I couldn't have had otherwise if not for reading that Reddit post."

4) flipakayak wrote this:

"Through this sub I learned countless times that I should compliment men more. In a platonic way, mostly. I realised just how deprived males are from receiving any form of compliments.

"One time I complimented a guy friend I've known for a while out of the blue (we don't really compliment each other, it's just not something we did), and he hugged me almost immediately after. He said he couldn't remember the last time someone really gave him a nice compliment.

"Give someone a compliment today."

**89. "** **What are Some Harmless, Legal Pranks to Pull on a Really, Really Annoying Person?** **"**

official_fox_news wrote this:

"I had a co-worker who would steal food from my desk, gripe about working conditions, [...].

"Two coworkers and I went on a campaign for a few months and went several times a week to get snacks, donuts, and treats, and leave them on my desk with the intention of not taking any for ourselves.

"She gained over 30 pounds in six months.

"We called it 'Operation: Butter-Up.'"

**90. "** **What is the Happy/Positive Memory You Would Think About to Ward Off a Dementor?"**

1) msstark wrote, "One time I skipped class on Friday, so I could take a bus to my hometown and have lunch with my grandma. She literally received me with open arms and a huge smile. She passed away later that year; I'm so glad I cherished her while I could."

2) TheaPosts wrote, "As a kid, I was obsessed with rocks. OBSESSED. Wanted to be a geologist. There was a set of gems/minerals available for sale, that I desperately wanted, but my parents were sceptical and overall indifferent to the idea. That Christmas when I opened the rock set ... I couldn't have been happier. For years prior and years after, I don't know there was a gift that made me feel the way I did that Christmas. My parents certainly had the dismissive act down for sure!"

3) fleekyeyebrows wrote, "Mornings waking up where my cat would greet me by climbing onto my chest and bumping her head into my face. May sound arbitrary and every day, but that kitty is dead now. It was some of the happiest moments of my short life."

4) clinic_oc wrote, "When I was little and my mum would get me out of the bath, she used to stand there and hold the towel open wide, I'd walk into it and she'd wrap me up, then have a towel for my hair and I'd put my head on her stomach and she would rub my hair with the towel. When I'd go downstairs, I'd take my blanket and for me to go to bed, my dad would roll me in the blanket, carry me to bed and then fling the blanket open so I'd like roll in mid-air onto the bed. I used to love that routine."

5) captbettyo wrote, "My dog crawling into bed to be my little spoon. When my alarm goes off, we have 30 minutes of sleepy cuddles before getting up."

**91. "W** **hat Life Lesson Was You Taught by a Complete Stranger?"**

1) MasterTook234 wrote, "My dad was playing in a band that was performing before a baseball game and everyone in the band had tickets to get a free bobblehead of the star player. They had saved a ticket for me and after about five minutes it disappeared from my hand. I had no idea when I dropped it, if I dropped it, or what happened to it. I was really ashamed of losing the ticket so when my dad asked why I didn't have my bobblehead, I just shrugged it off as though I didn't need one. He then said that he'd go with me to get it. I then admitted that I lost the ticket somewhere and that I didn't want to make a big deal about it. However, one of the band members I had never met before (I think the trombone player) came up to me and gave me his ticket. It caught me completely off guard and I tried to tell him that it was all right and I couldn't take it, but he insisted and told me that it would be in better hands. I still have the bobblehead today."

2) MorgainofAvelon wrote, "To pay it forward. I was down on my luck. No place to stay. No money in my pocket. All I had was my bus pass. The bus driver was chatting with me and when I was getting off the bus, he handed me some cash. I asked, 'How can I pay you back?' He said, 'In the future, when you can, pay it forward'. About 15yrs later I did. I just hope the person I helped paid it forward when they had the chance."

**92. "** **What's a Little Thing You Do to Make the World a Better Place?"**

1) Kylo_Jen wrote, "I always make sure to be overly polite to people serving me, whether in a restaurant or a shop and I always tell them to have a good day when I leave. Having worked in retail, I know a simple 'how are you,' 'thank you,' or 'have a nice day' can mean a lot, especially on a bad shift. I was raised to have good manners and I'll be d[*]mned if I don't flex them at any opportunity I have. It always surprises / saddens me that other people can't be the same way."

2) bebe-glazer wrote, "I am shy so I find it hard to say in person when I have received good or great customer service, and so I like to email the company directly and let them know. I always try to remember the person's name and to be specific, so that it might make it back to the employee or they might win an Employee of the Month Award.

Deeznutz1946 commented, "It really does make a difference. I had a flight attendant who did a great job, and I tweeted about it. When he had me on a flight like six months later, he remembered me and proudly told me they read my tweet in a training class. You're doing a fantastic thing by doing that."

3) Groovyjackrackham wrote, "When someone gets cut off repeatedly in conversation, I make an effort to make eye contact with them and say 'Go ahead ... I'm listening ...' or something along those lines."

bassocontinubow commented, "Yes! I do this, too, and you can tell by the look on their face that it's really appreciated. Everyone knows how it feels to have a story cut off, especially if it happens more than once. Good on you."

4) ohnomybone wrote, "I pick up a few pieces of trash each time I walk my dog. It's a very tiny thing, but I like to think it adds up!"

**93. "** What's the Most Adult Thing You've Ever Seen a Child Do? **"**

1) Your-goldfish wrote, "I work as a waitress near the beach, and I always get sunburn at the start of the season when I forget my sunscreen or something like it in the chaos of the shifts. This little girl comes up to me to tell me, 'Miss, you are burning, and you need to put on sunscreen,' and handed me her 50spf kids sunscreen. I don't know if her parents maybe said something to each other about me or she was just really bright and caring."

2) swuishistheword wrote, "It's not uncommon to have kids perform as translator when kids, and their parents who don't speak much English, come into our clinic. One young boy stuck out, though, because he was so earnest. He was about six or seven, translating medical information as best he could. He was learning as he went, asking very good questions so he could understand and relay the information well to his mother. I was so impressed with his politeness and patience, as well as his intelligence. After they left, he ran back in just to say, 'I forgot to say thank you for your help!' That is a kid I would hire in a heartbeat down the road."

Note by David Bruce: Many medical facilities won't allow kid siblings translate medical information because if the kids make a mistake, the result could be fatal.

Jdinpjs commented, "I'm a nurse. We had a teen girl as a patient for about a week who was Guatemalan. Our translator service couldn't provide a translator for the dialect she used. Her eight-year-old brother spoke English fluently. Her parents would leave him there all day while they worked (it was summer) because he was the only way we could communicate with her. He wasn't explaining medical procedures for us, just telling us she was thirsty or needed to go to the bathroom. He was a great kid, and all the nurses tried to spoil him. I took him to the cafeteria for lunch one day and told him to choose and he kept asking me if he could really have anything he wanted. He probably gained five pounds the week he spent with us — the kid had a serious love for Snickers and Mountain Dew. Yes, I made him eat real food before the junk, and I encouraged fruit, but it was hard to say no to that sweet 'Really? Anything?'"

**94. "** What is the Most Special Thing a Loved One has Done for You? **"**

1) breakfastteafairy wrote, "When my boyfriend whom I lived with at the time broke up with me unexpectedly, I became very depressed and couldn't eat. A few days before I was going to move out, my parents came over to our apartment with my favourite meal and my mom helped me pack and did a deep clean of the entire place. The landlord was so pleased with how clean it was, she removed all penalties against me for breaking the lease early. When I got home to my mom and dad's place, which I was moving back in to, I came home to a newly renovated bedroom with a new flat screen tv mounted to the wall. I was still heartbroken, but I felt so loved and so supported during a very dark time. I'll cherish that forever."

2) ipayincash wrote this:

"My grandmother passed away about two months before my wedding. I was really close to her and took it pretty hard. I was devastated she didn't know I was getting married (we had a small ceremony with a short lead up) because she would have been ecstatic.

"My grandmother was an avid knitter, as are much of my family. It's a tradition in my maternal family that when someone gets married one of the women knits the new couple a granny square afghan. My mom still has the one knit by her grandmother.

"After my grandmother passed away, my mom found a bunch of squares for an unfinished blanket and knit them together for my husband and me for our wedding.

"Words can't express how thankful I am that my mother gave me one last knit gift from my grandma."

3) pinklovehoney wrote, "It was a rough week at work, and we were both exhausted. He fell asleep way before I did. I was awake checking my work emails when he turned around in his sleep and kissed my back about a dozen times and then went right back to snoring. He didn't recall doing it the next morning."

4) Letti wrote, "On Valentine's Day my fiancé bought ingredients for us to cook together all of our favorite meals from traveling. We had the onion soup from Lyon, tiramisu from Venice, and hot toddies from Copenhagen. We used to travel a lot together. Now we have a six-month-old son so going out isn't on the cards, but this was very special to me."

5) underslug357 wrote this:

"My ex's mum is obsessed with Christmas, and my family doesn't do much for it. It's more of a tedious ritual-meal than an experience, and I grew up really hating the holiday because I never experienced any of the warmth or happiness people supposedly get from it. Actually, I hate it passionately to this day.

"That year I was having a particularly sh[*]tty time, and I didn't get so much as a chocolate bar from my family. I was kind of angry but whatever. A few days later, my boyfriend came over and brought a gift from his mum — the nicest set of PJs I've ever had, and Christmas socks. Maybe not the coziest but super pretty, but I loved them. Made me really feel like a part of their family for a bit.

"Years later, I still love those PJs, even though we're [my ex and his family, and I] not in contact at all. I still think about how kind and accommodating he and his family were to my dysfunctional [*]ss, and how much little things like that meant."

95. " **Redditors, What is the Worst Case of 'I Don't Know How to Operate This Everyday Object' You've Seen?"**

1) BaconThePig1 wrote this:

"One of my friends asked me if I would go to the gas station with her and fill up her tire with air because she didn't know how. I gave her the same answer I give most people when they ask me to do something simple that they will need to do again at some point:

"'I'm happy to go with you. I won't do it for you, BUT I will show you how to do it.'

"She thanked me and said she asked me because she knew I wouldn't make fun of her and was worried people would think she was stupid because she didn't know how to do it."

MiskatonicProf_1926 commented, "The kind of anxiety your friend feels is a special kind of hell, and it's cool you're the one she knew wouldn't give her sh[*]t."

2) sendmehere wrote, "I had my first car for three days. Pulled up at a really old gas station. Couldn't figure out how to pump my gas. Put the nozzle in my gas port, but it wouldn't pump. It was during a gas shortage & so I got flustered and started crying. This old guy emerged from the car behind me and flipped up the thing that holds the nozzle. I have never seen a pump like that since."

**96. "** **What's the Most Memorable Act of Kindness You've Experienced?"**

1) quickshesasleep wrote this:

"When I was 17, I was homeless and was sitting on the sidewalk outside of a restaurant with a sign that said, 'I Love Leftovers.' (Please don't judge. I had very few life skills and was just trying to survive.)

"The restaurant was right next to a bar and this man came out and said hello and asked if he could sit next to me and chat. I said sure, but thought it was weird because even with all the kindness I'd been shown before, when you're homeless no one really treats you like a person.

"So this guy sits down next to me and starts asking me about how I'm doing and why I'm homeless. He told me that he was at the bar with friends for his 'bachelor's party,' but they were all getting drunk and hitting on chicks and he didn't want to do either of those things.

"He asked me what I needed and of course I just told him food because even though I needed a lot of stuff I would never say more than just food. He looked at me and goes, 'Okay, but what else do you need?' I finally told him that new socks and a first aid kit were always nice to have. He said that he had that stuff at home, and if I met him in the same place the next day, he would have it for me. I thanked him and he went back to the bar.

"I didn't expect him to actually return because honestly it's extremely common to have people ask what you need, say they're going to go get it, and never come back. Either way I returned the next day at the time he said, and he had a brand-new military backpack for me (he was in the military and had noticed my backpack was torn), a pack of socks, a first aid kit, and food.

"One of the coolest things was that when we had been chatting, I casually mentioned that it would be cool to go to the local jazz festival that was going on. And this guy bought me a ticket!

"The thing I remember most about that entire interaction, however, weren't the material things he got me. It was being treated like a human being. Homelessness is extremely dehumanizing and demoralizing, and this guy just totally treated me like a friend. So kind, so amazing. People truly are kind."

2) punk-rot wrote this:

"I was in the ER [Emergency Room] as a danger to myself after opening up to my student counselor about feeling suicidal. (I was very naive back then. They did nothing to actually help me get better, only scare me into not mentioning it again.)

"I was locked in a small room with nothing but a bed and a tray for food. No tv, no counters, nothing else, for about eight hours. No one told me what was going on or what would happen to me. I remember a few hours in just breaking down crying feeling so alone. The guard watching me felt bad and said he couldn't sit there and watch me cry.

"He started talking to me about all sorts of random stuff and got my mind off my situation for a moment. That guy was an angel in a very dark time. I'll never forget his simple gesture of reaching out when everyone else treated me coldly like I was some kind of criminal."

3) Colonel_Katz wrote this:

"A couple I was phenomenally rude to and borderline aggressive with, managed to see past all of that and adopted me. In two months I will have been their adoptive daughter for 14 years.

"I was in an extremely bad place then. My blood parents — who'd been lovely when I was what they wanted me to be, and [turned against me when I wasn't — had made me very lost. If they had hurt me, what hope could I have in the kindness of people who didn't even know me, right? Even the government people taking care of me were only doing it because it was their job.

"They put up with all of it with good grace, which made me even angrier and more desperate to drive them away; but it eventually sunk in that they wouldn't have kept coming to see me if they weren't genuinely interested in adopting me. As long as I'm alive on God's green earth, I would do anything for them; as they put so much work into me that I have an impossible debt to pay.

"I'll stop before this gets mawkish, but they saved my life. If that's not a 'memorable act of kindness', what is?"

4) ilovepancakes134 wrote, "I watched my four-year-old daughter compliment a lady who in all honestly looked like a mess: She had clearly been crying, her hair was a greasy mess in a bun that was clearly intended to hide that it hadn't been brushed in a couple days, and she was wearing these plain old flip-flops. My daughter loved buns and flip-flops — they were the it style for her at the time, so she said hi to her and just had to tell her how pretty her hair was and how awesome her flip-flops were. She said it with such conviction that you could see this lady's mood perking up. She walked out of that store with something in her step that most assuredly was not there before. (I had noticed her walking around the store before we got to the checkouts.) I really think my daughter did something really good that day and I hope that lady has had many better days since then. I was one hell of a proud mom that day. I swear my daughter knew something was wrong with that lady, too — it wasn't just a fascination with her bun and flip-flops — because when we got to the car she said something about how the lady was sad and then she wasn't."

5) the_purple_owl wrote this:

"A compliment from a stranger. I was walking and a teenage boy out with a couple of his female friends walked by and said my hair looked nice.

"It's such a small thing, but I was in such a negative place in my life that it almost brought me to tears. A compliment from a stranger whom I had never seen before, probably would never see again, and who stood to gain absolutely nothing."

6) kitchen_six wrote, "I did much of the first part of my chemo regimen while my husband was away. So, I had two kids to feed and all of the chemo illness with which to deal. I ended up at a local diner early one morning before the kids had school because there were just no groceries left. The kids got whatever they want, and I just had hot water with lemon and some toast. When I went to pay, someone had paid the bill. I cried all the way to the school and then all the way to the grocery store. I still think of that person regularly; I wish I could thank them."

7) spoopypuppy wrote, "Today, actually. I got a flat tire on my way to work and didn't know until I went to leave for my lunch break and saw it. A man who works in the same building that I have problems with (different story) used his portable compressor and put air in my tire so that I could take it somewhere to get it plugged. I didn't even know. I just walked outside after clocking out and he was doing it."

8) dropoutperspective wrote, "Over the holiday season, I had two jobs at the same mall as an assistant manager. I had decided that I was dropping out of college, and I needed to pay the bills. It was exactly one week before Christmas, and I was exhausted. I opened and closed at the mall nearly every day. Somehow, I was scheduled to work seven hours straight, alone, at one of my jobs. This included accepting deliveries, helping customers find product, stocking, and running the register. It was absolute madness. I had never been so stressed in my life, while also trying to give the best customer service. I was sweating and shaking. Most of the customers were understanding, but some definitely weren't. It was very obvious that I was overwhelmed, and after an older lady made her purchase, she handed me $5 and told me to buy myself a coffee. I was absolutely floored by her kindness. After my shift, I was set to close at my other job. My other boss really cared about me, and on more than one occasion that season, she would tell me to go home and not worry about my shift. I surely had a guardian angel watching over me."

9) ashnotashley wrote, "I got the news my dog had passed and after bawling my eyes out, I went for a drive to Dutch Bros, and the barista could tell I've been crying after he looked at my red puffy eyes, and he drew flowers with hearts and wrote, 'You're a LIGHT in my life!' And then he handed me a single sunflower with my coffee free of charge. I cried some more after that because it was so sweet."

10) knitknackpaddywhack wrote, "I don't get too many acts of kindness, but once I was carrying many, many large packages. As in a comically high stack of boxes (like seven 12.5x 12.5 x 8") to the post office, and an older grandfather-like man saw me struggling (and with more on the ground) and he grabbed a few off me and the ones on the ground and helped me into the post office. He also asked if I could help him with the stamp machine, so I guess it was an equal trade really."

11) flickern wrote this:

"An anonymous Christmas card was delivered to me one night while I was working as a waitress. A co-worker brought it over to me while I was bussing tables and said that a young man had handed him this card and asked him to give me the card and then he abruptly left.

"I had a family and barely scraping by and Christmas for the kids was going to be tough that year. I opened the card and inside was this very beautiful card with the loveliest, amazing holiday sentiments and $280.00 in cash.

"The card was unsigned, so I never knew who sent it. I suspected it may have been one of a few regular customers I served who knew enough about me.

"Our Christmas was spectacular that year and not knowing who our magical benefactor was makes it all the more special. Thirteen years later that act of generosity still brings a smile to my face every Christmas."

12) MassRomantic12 wrote, "One of my professors in college gave me $80 once for food. We had been going over some of my work together, and she asked if I had enough money to eat, and I was like, 'Kind of.' We hadn't even been talking about it before she asked. She just seemed to know. It was a part in the semester where I barely had enough for groceries, and her doing that for me definitely sustained my ability to eat during that time. I'll never forget. She didn't bat an eyelash. She just reached into her purse and insisted I take the money."

13) uncuntciously wrote this:

"When I started working at my previous barber shop, I was struggling financially. I barely had any clothes to wear and had like three pairs of shoes. I wore one pair to work one day not realizing that the bottom of one shoe was falling apart. I figured if I walked carefully, I could get away with it, and I did until I was leaving the shop and walked past my bosses who were in their car. She rolls down the window and I already know what she's about to say. I tell her I didn't notice how bad they were until I got here but I didn't want to go home and miss out on clients, but I wouldn't wear them again. She said okay and I walked to my car.

"As I'm getting ready to drive off, her husband knocks on my window and hands me $80. He told me that they know how hard I work, and I deserve a new pair of shoes. I could've cried, it meant so much. I had worked there for TWO WEEKS up at that point."

**97. "** **What is the Best Present Someone has Made for You?"**

1) fka_fun_nka_glum wrote this:

"I had to put my dog down last October; she was the love of my life for 13 years.

"For Christmas, my sister went through my Facebook and printed out like 30 pictures of my dog and crafted them onto a poster and framed it. This is the only gift that has ever made me cry."

2) praisebethecatgod wrote this:

"I used to be obsessed with gift baskets as a kid. Like, I'd carry around the Swiss Colony catalogue with me.

"So, as an adult, my sister started making me homemade gift baskets. Plastic wrapped and all. They'd be full of cute knick-knacks, candy, and practical stuff, too. I really loved that she did that. It was so thoughtful and special."

3) Merethia wrote this:

"My girlfriend made me a scarf for my birthday last year. She's not very good at it and it's already coming unraveled on one end.

"I wear it all the time."

4) ImaginaryDocument5 wrote, "My daughter made me a card this year on my birthday where she said how much she loved me and wanted to be like me. It's still on my nightstand, but it has a few more tear stains on it than it did when she gave it to me.

5) UntiltheEndoftheline wrote, "Grandparents made each of their grandchildren a wooden treasure box with our names on them. I'm 28 and still have mine filled specifically with memories of stuff I did with them."

6) just_that_gal wrote, "It wasn't exactly a gift that someone made for me, but it was something that really inspired me to create. When I was probably six- to seven-years-old, I received an arts and craft book for my birthday. There were about 100 craft ideas to make out of reusable items in the household and my parents were totally shocked that I actually made every single thing from that book."

7) tiredvolcano wrote, "Does a blanket fort count? My husband made one in our living room and lined it with pillows and yellow string lights. I've been super stressed at work lately, so he wanted me to have a safe space when I get home. I sit in my soft fort and watch TV and stuff my face. Then I lie down and watch the sun come up with a blanket wrapped around me. Then I go to bed. It's like being surrounded by hugs."

**98. "** What Celebrities Have You Encountered Who were Really Nice?"

1) starstarstar42 wrote this:

"I met John Candy on a plane when I was a little kid while traveling with my family. He was a _big_ man. He had the whole row to himself in front of us with the armrest up between seats so he could be more comfortable. The stewardesses were blocking anyone from coming up and bothering him, even though they themselves were not exactly leaving him alone what with talking to him constantly and laughing at his enjoyable banter the whole trip.

"At some point he got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back, he looked at me, pretended to do a double-take like he was surprised and said, 'Hey, you're the quietest kid ever; don't you talk?' The way he said it was so friendly that I just smiled and giggled. Then he had a pleasant conversation with my parents, who had been DYING to talk to him the entire flight but were too polite to bother him.

"Not even two weeks later, we heard he had passed."

2) WatchTheBoom wrote this:

"I ran into Adam Sandler outside of a Planet Fitness in Brooklyn in early 2016.

"As I was leaving the Planet Fitness, it looked like he was walking in. We made eye contact, so I stopped and held the door for him. He got to the door and stopped right before he walked through, in one of those fake poses that little kids make when you tell them to freeze. I stood there holding the door, plenty confused. For about five seconds, we just stood there: him motionless, and me standing there holding the door. Finally, he turned his head and said in the stereotypical Adam Sandler voice, 'Ahhh, who we kidding? I'm not going in there!' Giant grin on his face. We both laughed and then he continued down the street."

3) TheJadedSF wrote, "My mom spotted Robin Williams once and she went up to him and asked if she could get a quick photo. She didn't realize he was there in the middle or about to do something with the Make-A-Wish Foundation so she waited until they were done around 20-30 minutes later and then a bunch of the kids and people wanted photos with him — he made it a point to stick around and told his staff, 'I think that woman wanted a photo,' and made sure she got it. Mom was thrilled. He was such a humble nice dude."

4) _Glibnik_ wrote, "I met Paul Rudd on a flight from NY and sat next to him on the plane. My buddy leaned over and told me that he wanted to compliment him on this band shirt he wore when making _Clueless_ , but he 'didn't want it to be weird'. So his solution was to write him a note and slip it to him, lol. So he does this, and Paul just gets this nervous look on his face, opens the note and reads it. Starts cracking up laughing, leaned over to us and said, 'Best note ever'. He then told us the whole story of the shirt, how he fought with the costume dept about it because it was the shirt he wore to set that day. We talked the whole flight; the dude was super cool.

99. "Ladies, What's Your Favorite Ladies' Bathroom Story?"

Ampletablespoon, who submitted the question, added, "We know women's bathrooms can be crazy positive places, especially in the club — it's just drunk girls lifting up other drunk girls all night long, no strings attached. What's your favorite women's washroom story?"

1) mangopepperjelly wrote this:

"I was out for my birthday at a gay club for the first time. My roommate was helping me in the bathroom while I was throwing up in the sink and needed to alert my Significant Other to bring the car around and help carry me out. My roommate also had to kick out a girl whom I knew from work and who was trying to offer to take me to her place.

"Another woman watched the whole thing in the bathroom and helped hold my hair and talked me through the whole thing while my SO and roommate prepared to get me home. I never even got my head up to see her face and thank her, but she was super nice, and I appreciated her help."

2) queenoreo wrote, "Back in the early 1990s, I went to dance clubs every weekend. At this one club the bathroom attendant was the sweetest lady. I always chatted with her, tipped her well, and genuinely enjoyed talking with her. While I was almost always just tipsy, one night I was a wreck, a serious hot mess. Bad breakup, met a group of guys with way more money than me and my friends, drank a stupid amount for free. She sat me in her little chair and fed me sips of water and oyster crackers for at least an hour until I pulled my sh[*]t together. She probably saved me from an Emergency Room trip or some seriously bad choices."

3) polkadot1314 wrote, "This story is just a funny one, but I was at a party once and we all had Solo cups filled with alcohol. My friend held hers up in the air, and someone knocked into it, which spilt it all over my face. It got into my eyes and created a horrible burning sensation, so I rushed to the bathroom. A bunch of drunk girls started comforting me and babbling about 'Don't cry over him' and 'He doesn't deserve you'. They thought I was crying about some dude when I really just had alcohol in my eyes. I was laughing so hard that it probably looked like I really was having a breakdown."

**100.** **"What is Your Love Story?"**

1) LizzyBarry wrote, "My husband and I met five years ago in an on-campus ministry at our college. It was his fourth year and my first. One day I just noticed him, and I didn't know why but I just wanted to get to know him SO badly. It wasn't even like a normal crush; I just genuinely wanted to know him. One day, we had an auction where everyone would contribute things and we would raise money to go to camp. He was in art school, was a sculpture major, and had made these beautiful jewelry boxes. My friends determined that I HAD to bid and buy one. I ended up paying $65 just so that I had an excuse to talk to him afterwards. We chatted for a minute and I gushed over the box. The next day, my friends and I needed a ride to church so we posted on the Facebook page for our group and to my utter amazement he said that he would be able to take us. Fast forward to the week after, we had just gotten back from a girls' retreat to the beach and I had the WORST sunburn of my life. I soak myself in vinegar when I get a sunburn because it helps. Well, my friends decided to invite a few more people to ride to church with them so that I wouldn't fit in the car and would have to ask him for a ride. I did, and he said, of course! As soon as I opened the door to the car, I had the horrific realization that I REEKED of vinegar. Before I could even sit down, all these words tumbled out of my mouth about my sunburn and the smell, etc. I was mortified, but he just laughed. We had a really good conversation on the way home, and it was really nice. This was all towards the end of the semester, and there were a few times after that day where there was definitely some mild flirting. Once school let out, we all went to the camp that our ministry was part of. Again, there was more flirting, but only ever so subtle. On the last night, a friend and I were in the game room, and he and his friend came up to us and asked us if we wanted to play air hockey. We did and there was MAJOR flirting. The next day as we were leaving, I really thought he would ask for my number, but he didn't, and I was disappointed. I traveled to Mexico for a week after that and when I got home, I put up some pictures of when I was swimming with dolphins. He commented on one of them and then sent me a message. We pretty much talked nonstop from there. I was back home at this point, and he was still in the city where we went to school. I went up to visit a few times to get my new apartment ready and see friends, and I would see him in group settings. We started talking on the phone, and the first conversation we had lasted hours and hours. We talked about intentions and what we wanted in a relationship. He was really straightforward, and I appreciated it so much because I hadn't been treated very well in past relationships, so this was so different. He finally asked me on a date, and he had planned this awesome day full of fun stuff and a delicious dinner. That was the first time anyone had held a car door open for me. We went on a few more dates, and I was getting a little antsy because he hadn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet. One day around midnight, while I was still at home, I got a text from him telling me to come outside. He and one of his friends had driven an hour and a half to my house and then they drove me to the beach. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I of course said yes. We dated for a little over a year and he proposed to me while we were in Sorrento, Italy. We were standing in ancient ruins at the bay of Naples looking over Pompeii and Mt. Vesuvius, and I will never forget it. We got married a little less than a year after that and we will have been married for three years and together for five years this summer. He's my best friend in the whole world. We are different in many ways but fit together like puzzle pieces. We make each other stronger, and we are one hell of a team. I thank God every single day for putting him in my life."

2) Inkyzilla wrote, "It's not some grand story or anything, but I always laugh when I think about the fact that my friend was trying to set me up with my future husband for MONTHS, but I hated the thought of being set up and told her I was not interested. But she kept insisting that we would be perfect for each other and after losing a stupid bet I agreed that I would go out with him. I felt sparks immediately on the first date, and now we're married with two wonderful children and I love him more than ever. If I had a time machine, I would go back and slap myself for not agreeing to go out with him sooner! Laughing out loud!"

3) lucid-delighte wrote this:

"So I was 19 and I had this friend I used to play MMOs [Massively Multiplayer Online Games] with. We were both painfully shy/socially awkward nerds. I loved talking to him; we had a lot of interests in common. Our group of friends used to meet IRL [in real life] for a beer about once a month, so this wasn't some long-distance romance. I wasn't exactly in love with him; there was just this intense mental connection. At our friend's birthday party, I made a drunken pass at him, but it led nowhere, since we were both so awkward. It didn't change anything, perhaps it only proved that we were not ready for dating.

"During the following months and years, we gradually lost contact. I reconnected with the group of friends seven years later and I started talking to him again. Three months later I realized I have a giant crush on him, confessed my feelings for him, and (TLDR) [Too Long; Didn't Read] we've been together since. Can't say we've been waiting for each other because we dated different people during the years before we reconnected, but somehow it seems that it was meant to be. It probably would have been terrible had we started dating all those years ago, when we were young and immature, so I am kinda glad it didn't work out back then because what we have now is amazing."

4) PatheticPeripetic7 wrote this:

"When I was in high school, I had this boyfriend. And we were so into each other that it was a little stupid. But he was super sweet, and darkly romantic, and had all of these issues (and started a lifelong pattern of guys for me, lol, thanks, D.). We'd spend hours on the phone when everyone else was asleep, stick together at school, even trade our private journals and read them, and write to each other in them.

"Anyway, I'd hang out with him as much as I could, of course, and once at his house we happened to catch Fred Astaire singing his song 'Cheek to Cheek' while an old movie was on the television. We sort of looked at each other and shared a moment, because we were hoping to eventually get to go to a school dance together.

"A few months into the relationship, my mom announced that we were moving to another state half the country away. I was devastated. I called my boyfriend immediately, and he came over. It was summertime, and we sat on a concrete bench in my backyard as dusk started to fall, holding each other and crying with all the eye-rolling intense dramatics that teenagers can muster. At one point I sobbed, 'And we never even got to dance with each other...'

"It was like something out of a movie. He immediately stood up and offered me his hand. I looked at him, tears streaming down my face, and took it. He swept me up into his arms and started slowly dancing with me in my darkening backyard, crickets chirping their music in the background, and softly singing, 'Heaven ... I'm in heaven... and my heart beats so that I can barely speak / and I seem to find the happiness I seek ... when we're out together, dancing cheek to cheek ...' It was probably one of the most heartbreaking sweet and romantic moments I've ever experienced in my life. He really was a good guy, and I hope he's doing okay now."

5) Ashley_Rose789 wrote this:

"I met this guy one day and spent an hour with him and he drove me to his home and then back to mine. We connected, I thought, but he didn't text me much. One week later I saw him at the grocery store and I just had this like 'click' moment with him, he looked like he was going through a hard time. But then I only saw him just there walking. I stared, and he noticed me, and his back went immediately straight and he smiled and waved at me. I'm very shy so I just looked away. I thought maybe he'd text me and ask about my strange behavior, but he never did, and I thought I blew it.

"I ended up texting him that I hoped he was okay, and I was ecstatic that he actually texted me back. He wanted to meet again but I couldn't, so we planned to meet the day after. Things came up for me and I felt so bad cancelling on him, but he said it was okay and that he'd wait. I thought it was very sweet. So, the day after that we did meet in the morning and spent an hour together; he told me things that confirmed my own feelings of that 'click' we shared.

"He told me that he was moving the next day and so when I got home, I texted him that I had an amazing time with him and that I hope his life is well. So he moved and the only last thing he said to me was that he hoped his move was good, too.

"I'll probably never feel that instant connection ever again, but I do have the great memories of him. It's so — I don't know — blissful, and my friend called it poetic but maybe it was. Maybe he didn't care to keep in touch after his move, but I don't care. It was probably the best time I've ever had, and it'll stay with me forever even if I never meet him again."

6) queenoreo wrote, "I thought I was friends with this guy, but it turned out he really liked me. I broke up with my boyfriend and was chatting with this guy's boss one day and asked why he didn't have a girlfriend since he was so nice. She told me to go out with him, and I was like, ??? We hung out at work and eventually he asked me if I wanted to go to a party and I said yes. A few weeks later, he asked me to hang out again and I honestly had zero idea it was a date until he went in for a kiss at the end of the night. We've been together 25 years."

# APPENDIX A: FAIR USE

This communication uses information that I have downloaded and adapted from the WWW. I will not make a dime from it. The use of this information is consistent with fair use:

§ 107. Limitations on exclusive rights: Fair use

Release date: 2004-04-30

Notwithstanding the provisions of sections 106 and 106A, the fair use of a copyrighted work, including such use by reproduction in copies or phonorecords or by any other means specified by that section, for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching (including multiple copies for classroom use), scholarship, or research, is not an infringement of copyright. In determining whether the use made of a work in any particular case is a fair use the factors to be considered shall include —

(1) the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;

(2) the nature of the copyrighted work;

(3) the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and

(4) the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

The fact that a work is unpublished shall not itself bar a finding of fair use if such finding is made upon consideration of all the above factors.

Source of Fair Use information:

<<http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.html>>

# APPENDIX B: SOME BOOKS BY DAVID BRUCE

Retellings of a Classic Work of Literature

Ben Jonson's The Alchemist: A Retelling

Ben Jonson's Bartholomew Fair: A Retelling

Ben Jonson's The Devil is an Ass: A Retelling

Ben Jonson's Volpone, or the Fox: A Retelling

Christopher Marlowe's Complete Plays: Retellings

Christopher Marlowe's Dido, Queen of Carthage: A Retelling

Christopher Marlowe's Doctor Faustus: Retellings of the 1604 A-Text and of the 1616 B-Text

Christopher Marlowe's Edward II: A Retelling

Christopher Marlowe's The Massacre at Paris: A Retelling

Christopher Marlowe's The Rich Jew of Malta: A Retelling

Christopher Marlowe's Tamburlaine, Parts 1 and 2: Retellings

Dante's Divine Comedy: A Retelling in Prose

Dante's Inferno: A Retelling in Prose

Dante's Purgatory: A Retelling in Prose

Dante's Paradise: A Retelling in Prose

The Famous Victories of Henry V: A Retelling

From the Iliad to the Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna's Posthomerica

George Peele's The Arraignment of Paris: A Retelling

George Peele's The Battle of Alcazar: A Retelling

George's Peele's David and Bathsheba, and the Tragedy of Absalom: A Retelling

George Peele's The Old Wives' Tale: A Retelling

The History of King Leir: A Retelling

Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose

Homer's Odyssey: A Retelling in Prose

Jason and the Argonauts: A Retelling in Prose of Apollonius of Rhodes' Argonautica

John Ford: Eight Plays Translated into Modern English

John Ford's The Broken Heart: A Retelling

John Ford's The Fancies, Chaste and Noble: A Retelling

John Ford's The Lady's Trial: A Retelling

John Ford's The Lover's Melancholy: A Retelling

John Ford's Love's Sacrifice: A Retelling

John Ford's Perkin Warbeck: A Retelling

John Ford's The Queen: A Retelling

John Ford's 'Tis Pity She's a Whore: A Retelling

John Webster's The White Devil: A Retelling

King Edward III: A Retelling

The Merry Devil of Edmonton: A Retelling

Robert Greene's Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay: A Retelling

Tarlton's Jests: A Retelling

The Trojan War and Its Aftermath: Four Ancient Epic Poems

Virgil's Aeneid: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's 5 Late Romances: Retellings in Prose

William Shakespeare's 10 Histories: Retellings in Prose

William Shakespeare's 11 Tragedies: Retellings in Prose

William Shakespeare's 12 Comedies: Retellings in Prose

William Shakespeare's 38 Plays: Retellings in Prose

William Shakespeare's 1 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 1: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's 2 Henry IV, aka Henry IV, Part 2: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's 1 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 1: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's 2 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 2: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's 3 Henry VI, aka Henry VI, Part 3: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's All's Well that Ends Well: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's As You Like It: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Coriolanus: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Cymbeline: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Henry V: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Henry VIII: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's King John: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's King Lear: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Love's Labor's Lost: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Macbeth: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Measure for Measure: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Othello: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Pericles, Prince of Tyre: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Richard II: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Richard III: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Tempest: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Timon of Athens: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Troilus and Cressida: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Two Gentlemen of Verona: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Two Noble Kinsmen: A Retelling in Prose

William Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale: A Retelling in Prose

Children's Biography

Nadia Comaneci: Perfect Ten

Personal Finance

How to Manage Your Money: A Guide for the Non-Rich

Anecdote Collections

250 Anecdotes About Opera

250 Anecdotes About Religion

250 Anecdotes About Religion: Volume 2

250 Music Anecdotes

Be a Work of Art: 250 Anecdotes and Stories

The Coolest People in Art: 250 Anecdotes

The Coolest People in the Arts: 250 Anecdotes

The Coolest People in Books: 250 Anecdotes

The Coolest People in Comedy: 250 Anecdotes

Create, Then Take a Break: 250 Anecdotes

Don't Fear the Reaper: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Art: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Books: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Books, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Books, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Comedy: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Dance: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 6: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Movies: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Music: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Music, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Neighborhoods: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Relationships: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Sports, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Television and Radio: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People in Theater: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People Who Live Life: 250 Anecdotes

The Funniest People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds, Volume 1: 250 Anecdotes

The Kindest People Who Do Good Deeds, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

Maximum Cool: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Movies: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Politics and History: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Politics and History, Volume 3: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Religion: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People Who Live Life: 250 Anecdotes

The Most Interesting People Who Live Life, Volume 2: 250 Anecdotes

Reality is Fabulous: 250 Anecdotes and Stories

Resist Psychic Death: 250 Anecdotes

Seize the Day: 250 Anecdotes and Stories

APENNDIX C: ABOUT THE AUTHOR

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy — me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka "The Joker," decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name — David — ever since.

Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for "sounds like" and "two words," then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise? Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer!

Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.

Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left.

At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a master's degree in English and a master's degree in Philosophy.

Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Dance, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Othello: A Retelling in Prose.

