With DOOM Eternal being out for a few weeks now and realizing our new favorite color is VIOLENCE
I say it's time
We gather around the campfire and really grab this game by the boners DOOM Eternal is known for  its difficulty and GOD DAMN. I
love that but can you beat doom eternal without taking any health damage the DOOM Slayer was put into this universe for one reason to
pound the soul anus of the entire demonic force
But in this game the enemies are a bit different from the previous
Entries being far more aggressive and wanting nothing but to see your death
*Coffin Dance Intensifies*
The game throws not only its religious intolerances at you, but also a nice
Heaping the generous amount of dick thinking that you are even given a moment to brief is already losing
Before we start let's discuss the rules the first and only rule as the title states. I cannot lose health at all this run
I will only have fifty armor to work with the entirety of this playthrough and if it drops below zero
And I take health damage
I must restart a checkpoint this armor can be refilled and will give me the leniency of a single hit or two
but truly that doesn't matter when the entirety of hell wants to blow out your
Asshole before this run starts grab yourself a can of your favorite soda pop and your choice of personal favorite opioid
Maybe you'll even be a sweet cutie
idiot and
FPSRussia that like button will the gladiator commit the cardinal sin of touching our waifu the DOOM Slayers
Petit Christian body will Senza need to be tased a few times so that he can keep his head in the game and focused on
This w let's find out this conquest of carnage and hegemonic masculinity starts out simple
Demons have invaded earth in search of a new life
we play as DOOM guy AKA a channel member of mine named prismo being the perfect human optimal height of
511 and renowned as a prolific and illustrious twenty twenty waifu of the year. This hulking chad is humanity's last
Hope placed into this universe to dismiss the lives of those that do not believe in the doctrine of predestination
after slapping on my Fursona
Costume the homeboy VEGA turned on my portal gun and into the abyss. I went in search of the hell priests that have staged this
attack on our freedom and religious beliefs
the first level of this crusade
Shouldn't be too much of a doozy(R.I.P Man) and we won't be talking about me having to run pack a checkpoint one minute into the run
Pushing through the area. I press the desecrate demonic livelihood button and had an encounter with my first group of enemies
This part alone was put into the game that give you hope they sen d little Jimmy's and him set
You expecting you to kill them with these and leave with an ego that rivaled Mount Everest
But this was all just practice for the fights that will eventually send blood pumping through your weiners
the first hell priest was ahead and DOOM guy wasn't happy turned out that this naughty boy was
Belittling the DOOM Slayer and his mother in a halo 3 multiplayer
Lobby as always the DOOM Slayer followed his instinctual nature and opened up a finely aged bottle of heretic
extermination with the first hell priest dead the demonic consumption of Earth went down by 36% but my erection
Grew a whopping 50 this version of Earth isn't much different than ours
The human race is built upon nothing but holy ideologies and moral high-ground
They do not dare. Marry that the likes of heresy
This is why I am here to protect them Fursona and all even on ultraviolence
I was able to swoon and sway delicately
between these demons with my sticky bombs and physical aggression learning the weak point of the Aracnatron was big or at least I thought
It was until I was confined in a subway with only him for some reason
This was all around the hardest part of the first level a confined space
Plus not having a very big arsenal gave me some really bad
Asshole dry-heave having to reset 21 times just on this part alone things were off to a bad start
But listen here baby when that cutie with a nice booty comes around that corner
Don't follow your ever-growing IQ. Avoid his weak spot and blast him with your sticky bombs
So your pussy puts his ass to sleep
the rest of this level should be cake if you
attempt to try this run and restart here and there but for the most part I was able to breeze past these shekel goblins and
What I thought would be the hardest part of this level after taking out the rest of the trash
I approached the other two health priests and made it very obvious that this cute petite
Unicorn wasn't *Insert erotic duck call here* around their tyranny over this earth and everyone's bank accounts was enough, but listen the doom Slayer wasn't having it
He was out here with all this ass and he was ready to *Totally just a duck* for this run
I will not be upgrading my armor nor will I be upgrading anything else
Unfortunately, the first upgrade shard is breastfed to you without your consent. And any of them afterwards will be ignored
Exultia was our next destination and home to something that is vital to my successes run my passport was made and off
I went a few sticky bombs and a cute little kiss from a roid rage boy
I was given the Thanos gauntlet incapable of actually snapping enemies out of existence
this gauntlet actually allows you to fist them out of existence whether they are into the fetish or not pain is always
The outcome this will be a useful tool this run and I truly appreciate
Marvel for lending it to crossing the bridge to continue on this crusade turned out to be equivalent to
contracting a venereal disease
This part should have been simple but not even simplicity can counter my autism 16 tries and realizing my cerebral cortex is
Non-existent later. I took a ride on a merry-go-round and was gifted yet
Another gift a power that many longed for a power that will leave you singing god damned DOOM slayer
You got that Sonic the Hedgehog on blu-ray
DVD pussy and I love it this powerup turns the Doom Slayer into a monster and I now had speed which is
vital to the process of me delivering my full meet to these demons with this newfound speed I could easily dodge my enemy's attacks and
Reposition and with the condom now securely fastened. Let's discuss the plan operation my teacher put the D in my grade
So I put the D and his wife is now in full effect
Speed is not only a physical concept but a metaphorical one and I could bet you my two testicles
You don't know what that means because I don't either the enemy's in doom eternal will devour your ass in a split second and playing
To stay above 100 health will need your all time focus and dexterity
We must use all possible tools to our advantage and I know during these trying times we are lost and hopeless
Being driven insane by this quarantine and the fear of becoming infected fortunately for you. All this run is a medically therapeutic experience
Prescribed by doctors and I will be your guide on getting through this now
Let's get back to the run after meeting with my father figure for a quick chat
I set off into a portal to the depths of hell to find the betrayer doom eternal brought me the gift that kept on giving
Just like aids I died more than a handful of times on my search of cool guy and a godly amount actually
Bringing my death count from 63 at the point of entering the portal to 142
Not only were these deaths fueling my rage induced outburst
but these villainous and disgusting creatures held a forbidden and vile fetish that they will soon pay for their obsession with
Octopussy was abhorrent and this is what fueled me and my will to keep going
It was up to me to exterminate the anger that filled these demons hearts and the gracious amount of tentacles that fueled their
fantasies after destroying some more tentacles in the name of revolutionary, Japan
I had to reset a few big many times and made it to the homie to get my celestial locator a new bad
There was no time to relax and cuddle though
I had more demons to kill the ending part of this level is a pain and trial and error is my own impulse
Grabbing that suppository of quad damage and just clenching your sphincter
Any externus is your only viable option here after a few resets and taking damage from the smallest of sources
you should be good and that brings us to level 3 the cultists base with the celestial locator now powered up it was time to
Find the hel priest with the intellect and physical qualities of a loaf of bread
This frozen covered planet is an authoritarian dystopia, and it truly isn't for everyone
It is littered with shekel goblins and these goblins will force you to reload an ample amount of checkpoints
They enjoy it and they enjoy your pain a whole new type of enemy is also encountered here first met and one of my doom
Challenges. Yeah, he was a typical McDonald's customer this bad boy deserves focus and attention
If not, you will experience the tortures of Perpetual loading screens further into the level
We are giving yet another gift from the gods the rocket launcher this little mischievous thing cares
Not of talk or your political standings only of wrecking straight-up demonic booty cheeks
This is the first part of the deadly trio the weapons that will carry us through these trying times
with the lack of armored pickups
It was difficult to play around the dynamically place hazard that threatened me and my livelihood armor was scarce
Just like the presence of my social life and these demons hit harder than a domestic abuse case
But the doom Slayer was looking for love and fortunately for him
There was a nice little female nearby that he used to fiddle with a couple years back
Just thinking about her can get any he/she/it
Bricked up and nearly an instant many demons were slain in the name of his conquest and after a few gold medal olympic performances
I met with Geraldine and convinced her into retrieving my hot date
let's just say that this part was harder than it should have been and I am sure that the enemies here enjoyed muc banging my
Asshole but with my pride and joy now in my possession
I was now
Two-thirds of the way to enlightenment enlightenment that I have always longed for the final encounter of this level was horrifying these failed
Abortions were destroying me and each and every reset was driving me insane
The second Hell priest was in my sights and I was coming what oh
Come on now like Val you sick little to his nuts were certainly
Going to be quaking went out until after I dealt with some more pain and incessant suffering guy God
Loveth day
I pushed my way through the doom hunter base in search of this hell priest and I was basically
living in by loading screen during this section after
Wasting a couple of pinkies and acting in my highest Civic standard to not break another keyboard from so much resetting. I
encountered the doom Hunter forged loosely on the ideals that the doom Slayer can experience the tranquility of death this
Abomination was made to destroy me and that it did at first the sensation of pain was intoxicating
I enjoyed every damn moment. Oh, it felt great
But after 34 minutes of only his first phase I started to get a bit angsty armour drops are abundant here
but being sure to stay on the move and using my sticky bomb often was my only means of success for this fight time and
Time again, I was susceptible to the doom hunters high-velocity tornado of my shit up
But I had to keep a decent head because after this
Conquest I was going to be given the ballista and that would complete the holy trio
This was big to me because it deals a lot of damage
And I really like a lot of damage after killing off his first phase
I was subject to more torture torture that almost made me want to commit eating poison oblivion Apple and this part was almost as bad
As when I realized that I was lied to my entire life and that water was just hydrogen soup
I not only had to deal with one but two of the doom hunters on paper this seems terrible
but then I realized something these beasts had brains that were severely
Malformed and they both suffered great learning disabilities instead of doing the smart thing and both of them fighting me at the same time
They refused to so just taking laps around the map
Damaging each one little by little was a play until I was able to put them both to sleep
There are many words to describe the second help Ries, but we can factually say that alive is not one of them as
The run went on my IQ was growing at an exponential rate and so was my arsenal
I now had the ballista and that meant that I was going to bring nothing but death to these
heretics it was time to head back to earth and take out the super gore nest the thought of this level sent shivers down my
Spine and into my ass crack just the first area alone took me 30 minutes to get through all of my orifice were being filled
With demonic dick and I couldn't do anything about it
The cryo grenade came in clutch during the first part, but this didn't prepare me for the next
I had not experienced to torment before I stepped into this Thunderdome for most this area would provide nothing but an erotic experience
Being enclosed in what seemed to be like a blue waffle?
some
Fantasies are surely to be met here an hour and two breaks is what it took to get me through this part alone these demons
Were destructive and did soft or was bordering on sadism at this point if I were IGN and rated this area
I would give it an incredibly small
Decimal out of a massive number because it had way too much death the rest of the level was doable
But just a whole last hemorrhoid after pushing my way through
constantly resetting I ran into some more tentacles killed the metric poop stocked full of demons and
eventually cleared off all the AIDS that infested the reactor thing it took me a Trier to
know
These tentacles really like fucking me don't they and
Sabotaging my own run but I was finally out of there and the demonic
Uterus was taken care of and it was time to find that Robo
He/she him/her they it whatever the hell it wants to be called. I really don't want to get cancelled Hayden
Although his intentions have always been far different from mine
I was going to need him to find the last hell priest
Doom eternal the quintessential Chad simulator that every high school hop boy uses their Bible
This game is not only for entertainment but can be used as a tool teaching you how you should live your life
I was on the search for Hayden and it was clear that
Nothing was going to get into the doom Slayers way with nothing but 50 armor
I pushed my way through this dangerous territory resets were abundant, but the doom Slayer and I were attracted to the ASMR
That was he's dying
I'm just going to keep talking and fluffing up the fact that this was totally easy
Especially the garage area and the tentacle lover weds Tran too plain
After a very long Trek
I eventually made it to Hayden's lab the mere mortals around me were
Starstruck in my presence and their panties quickly turned into the seven seas
But I the doom Slayer was a proud Christian conservative and I wasn't going to let these sinners get in my way
The homey was in some sort of stasis
but his
Assistance was imperative to this run. I heated the poor thing into the portal and it seemed as though I fucked up my actions were
Completely out of my jurisdiction and the infamous Marauder came to spank me red for my naughty deeds
Are you curious to see what happens when the embodiment of masculinity meets the Marauder?
Do you know what happens when two titans collide nothing you idiot god? Damn, you're so fucking
The Marauder straight up and loaded his ass onto me and man
Did it taste like nothing, but salty milk and rusted pennies one hit would involve me having to reset a checkpoint
But if you learn to dodge his attacks and weapon cycle efficiently. He's nothing more than mincemeat
all those reviewers gave the Marauder a hard time because their power levels didn't match his but fortunately
Mine does with Hayden back in my possession
I hooked him up to the mancave mainframe and was immediately told of the last cal priest
location the portal to him was located in the core of Mars and the only way to the core was to make a hole my
babygirl The BFG had been turned into an actual big fucking gun or
Big fucking gun just in case the censored f-word wasn't obvious enough
I used what I now decided was rightfully mine to open up the blast sealed doors and went ahead on my way to get a
Hold of that mounted BFG all of these demons suffered unforeseen
Circumstances all because they decided to be in my presence these political
Extremists even attempted throwing their very own big boy at me these thick little scrumptious beings were nothing but eye candy to the doom Slayer
Especially when matched up against my arsenal out on the surface of the base
It was in my honor to supply more of that luxurious commodity known as death
I did take a few slaps of the ass and had to hit that life alert button a few times but in due time I
was in my prom dates presence and it was an honor to
This beautiful thing now in my possession not only does it have a high level of exclusivity
And is a pre-order bonus for those that pre-ordered the game
But it is also a tool that holds the damage equivalent of 15 kilograms of enriched uranium
After aligning the WMD with Mars, my time of refraining from transgressions was over against Hayden's words
I let loose my loading god. Damn. It felt fucking good. Really. Sorry about your ass
It's all good, bro
it was done my portal to the last help priest was open and the
BFG and I were now finally Wed the world was our ask
Tenderizing oyster and everything and everyone was just a test dummy in our way
the rest of the level involved me resetting many times and
experiencing the tranquil and
Therapeutic waves of the pornhub hardcore section after remembering that I literally had a weapon that could end any and all racial
tensions that resided in our universe
I dealt with the front page of 4chan was shot through a cannon and then was hit with big words like my damnation
And eternal suffering the ending part of this level was a pain and really brought me my eternal suffering taking me
43 resets but eventually I was out of there and on to my next daunting task the sweet sound of the doom Slayers
Fook me man me strong voice
Good
Huge guts wasn't enough to prepare me for the horrors that awaited ahead
the gladiator was a spineless demonic cuckold boss that wanted nothing but to see me in pain this
Universal healthcare crooked face looking head ass was a peasant that couldn't afford anything better
but to be my
Dominatrix not only was he an exceptionally competent math major using quadratic formula equations and line
Regressions to solve for where I was going to be at all moments of the fight, but he was spanking me up. Hella good
Again
This fight was painful and took me seventy-three tries to complete just praying to mick
Gordon was my only option the rocky launcher was my go-to holding enough explosive power to actually take on this titan
Just keep your lock on missiles ready and used the demons around him for health or ammo pickups
The sound was profound the shiver of his sphincter
yielding to my
explosive yet cold rockets with a
Gladiator dead that meant that this run was close to wrapping up and I could finally get rid of this incessant
Migraine the human eye can only see eight gigabytes of bullshit
But it turns out that Kanye and her species saw all 16 gigs of mine
she was angry with what I had done being the meddling kid to ruin her plans and her idea of
Punishment was to take away my mancave
But little did she know I still had the crucible in my possession and her antics weren't going to fly with me Terrace and Abad
was my next destination in the conquest and one of my last this was where I could forge my crucible and become a man this
was the equivalent of the journey
spongebob and patrick had but now it was my turn all was well so far into the level until I met the arch-vile this
Disgusting creature put me in my place and I was whipped 15 resets later
I figured out a tactic that I was going to use for the rest of this run freezing the arch-vile and hitting him directly with
A BFG splooge shot silence this one and this was all that mattered to me
I know that this is a little overkill
But I'll do anything to get that deformed mouth breather off my screen after dealing with the J station of this game
I was hit with truly a sad story this honest and innocent gargoyle was trapped and forced
Into sex work for these fiends all because he had the question of whether or not ripping and tearing was an empirical science
so sad
We don't deserve him gentlemen cocks out for his freedom a couple of free swims without floaties later learning that Haydon is basically my dad
And then resetting my game 21 times thanks to this confined area
I was gifted something special forged with Karin loved and made in the finest batter
Consisting of demonic skimmed milk and Mick Gordon's nut. My very own crucible was finally made and boy
Did it feel good the demonic forums and so reddit's were littered with posts on how opie this thing was and it's needed nerf
But that won't stop me. This was just the tip of the asshole baby. The run was coming to an end
I needed to get to the con maker before she let loose a big baddie and destroyed the entirety of the human population
My only way to get to her was through a hellish BDSM dungeon and to speed things up
I'll give you guys a quick rundown on what happened on the rest of this damaged Ellis crusade
Not only is necro vol 1 and two subjectively the most aids part of the game
but it is also the part of the game that
Preaches in software's political agenda and views on how the great potato famine was all a lie
If you agree with these claims that I totally just made up now then I like you and you deserve a kiss
I was probably having to reset on average every minute or two and the amount of enemies that were showing up was starting to become
overwhelming finishing off necro vol part 2 I ran past
most of the enemies and went to town on the final hoard dicking them down with every inch of my 1-inch Weiner the portal was
Open and it was now time to deal with
Kanye this whole level led to an ungodly amount of use of my chainsaw and super shotgun upgrade
The Marauders weren't much of a trouble here. It was mainly just a fatty amount of booty
This game was throwing at me specifically this part alone. Took me 34 checkpoint resets eventually
I confronted Kanye and it was time to take on the second-to-last loss of this game
This fight was a whole pain in the ass and took me 42 tries to actually get down
the problem was there weren't enough armor drops in the arena and the con makers puppets were not a very good source for my
nutrients it was all about
Maneuvering around grabbing armor drops when needed and popping some heads for sweet sweet rocket ammo after locking on to the con maker
Expect her health bar to be immediately raped allowing you to do some good ol fashioned fisting to finish her off with her dead
I still had one more beast to tackle the icon of sin getting to him wasn't too much of a nuisance it took me a
Good bit in quite a few resets, but eventually I made it at this point. I was sitting at
723 resets already far surpassing that of my doom
2016 run I bleached off all of the blood guts and
Ejaculate that became one with my persona armor and entered that arena
This fight was a difficult one and a lot harder than I expected
the icon of sin sends a whirlwind of bull
And committee at you just constantly in your shit up at the 30 minutes of just throwing myself at his first phase
I grew tired of his fist slam ability
the one that literally takes out the entirety of your shield and then side so I developed a tactic and here it is if you're
craving for some of that
Masochism staying on the ground level of the arena is key anywhere else and you are just asking for a nice
Spanking down on the bottom floor. He doesn't do his fist slam ability allowing you to lay in as much damage as possible
This will in turn force hordes of enemies to come at you. They use them to your advantage
Crucible spawns are abundant
So just running back and forth
grabbing them and killing the demons as they come at you is the objective all while you are damaging the icon of sin after a
few dozen tries
I was blessed by our Jesus and beat him taking me an hour just to finish his first phase
fortunately
His second is a whole lot easier
Stay on the bottom floor again
Cycling in between crucible spawns killing any creature that comes your way and using the cannon fodder mobs for ammo and armor and no time
with the help of your arsenal and
Minigun the icon will fall and you can beat doom eternal without taking any health damage
It was a tedious task and resulted in me having to reload
807 times but I finally did it. This run was far worse in comparison to my damage less doom run
But after my recent Borderlands 3 video and smashing my keyboard I was used to it
This will truly be my last without damage run as I really don't want to be admitted into Arkham Asylum
If you made it to the end, I truly appreciate you and comment hash tag persona
And I'll heart your comment
If you enjoy the Crusades I carry out in the name of the diaper booty gang
Then you should hit that like and subscribe button
Thank you to the diaper booty chairman for funding this episode and thank you all for spending your time with me and watching
Take care wear your seatbelts and tell your grandma. She looks great today hugs and kisses and be safe my friends
See you all next week
