Darwin Shorts
700..
Do you copy, 700..?
700, Do you copy!?
700!
What the hell is going on in there?
They've got a helicopter..
And they called for support.
What?! Who? How?
I don't know, but it's getting really hot in here..
700,  what are you talking about?
I'll tell you later..
700!! He's running away!
Jerry, you're not helping!
700! He'll be at your car in a second, blow it up!
Blow up your car!
Hey, I like that car!!
NOW!!!
I'm sorry, babe.
I really liked you.
That's it..
We lost him.
Not so fast.
Get me a new car.
36h before
/SIS – Some Intelligence Service/
Zelcer.
R.
Let's begin.
During your last mission in Uganda you eliminated 26 agents..
Can you shed a bit of light on that?
You're welcome, R.
You were supposed to protect them.
Indeed.
I'm also concerned about your tests.
You passed everything except for.. push ups.
Yeah?
Yes. How many push ups can you do?
R, please.
How many push ups can you do, Zelcer?!
Don't make me do this..
I need to know that!
You know I do.
As you wish.
You're not in shape recently, are you?
Are we done, R?
I have a lot of free time since I was suspended.
You wouldn't believe, but I don't want to spend it here.
I've got a new mission for you.
Can you repeat?
You heard me.
You've been reinstated.
You know I can't read..
I know.
These are some colouring pages.
You like them so much, so..
Thank you.
I'll colour it at home.
You see, here there are no...
Crayons. Sure.
Let's get to the case.
I want you to meet someone.
What have you done?!
Didn't you notice anything suspicious?
She was our client!!
Was.
Die too late the day before yesterday
What do you mean “reinstated”?
/SIS, R's office/
This man cannot accomplish the simplest task.
With all the respect, ma'am..
Don't you ma'am me now R, or I'll destroy you.
Yesterday this idiot shot the daughter of Italian Prime Minister..
and today I'm supposed to give him a medal for that?..
Are you out of your mind!?
But she turned out to be a Russian agent, who...
I don't give a fuck!
He's lucky, but it doesn't change the fact
that he's a disobedient dense dimwit!
How many times have I read in your reports
about Zelcer's insubordination.
That his lack of competence threatens the safety and lives of other agents.
That he's schizophrenically confident in his exceptional manliness,
so that he hits on every woman he encounters.
That he wears velcro shoes to work, because he can't tie shoelaces!
One time agent Pupiec told him that the office cupboard is a time machine
and his mission is to kill Adolf Hitler.
And what did the brave agent 700 do?
He said “see you in a new, better world” and he entered the cupboard.
Yes, I remember.
HE WAS SITTING THERE FOR 2H
assured that something will actually happen!..
Calm down..
I AM CALM!!!
R..
I expect Zelcer to leave the ranks of Some Intelligence Service
within 24h from now.
If not, you can say goodbye to this desk
and your position in SIS.
Goodbye, R.
Ms President.
There is.. a litttle problem.
Of course.
What kind of a problem?
He is the only one..
who's left here.
700, can you see him?
Positive.
Whatever happens, he cannot remember your face.
Jerry, you're talking to a professional.
I'm following the target.
What target?
My target.
But which one?
How many targets do we have today, Jerry?
Only one!
Exactly.
But you're following someone completely different!
Positive.
Remember: do not draw attention to yourself.
Of course.
What's going on, 700?
Nothing.. nothing.
I can't see anything, Jerry.
You're drawing attention, 700.
But I need to see the way.
But you don't have to use flash..!
Here it is.
I'll cross his way.
It's important - don't let him remember you.
Right.
Easy..
Three..
two..
one..
Oops, I'm so sorry.. sorry.
Did you plant the bug?
Mission accomplished, Jerry.
Another success.
Over and out.
Over and out, 700.
HELP!!
JESUS!
Excuse me.
Would you like to have a sexual intercourse with me?
Today?
Your beard grows back really fast.
I know.
It's because I'm a man.
I'll shave and.. take a shower.
/R(etard): Important. New Mission. SIS headquarters. 30min. Use deodorant. R./
Agent 700 will return in part two.
