*playing finnish kids song 'OH - TO HAVE A CAT'
OH - TO FIND A CAT
PREVIOUSLY
Wholesome thirty something neighbors from Pispala
Are hoping to find a companion
And if this is our best idea so far...
we just have to make it happen
*LOOKING FOR*
- Complicated situation
I used to have a lovely girlfriend...
who has...
Get to the fucking point, man!
Yes! I just set a date with a second person
- So you don't like the Moomin mugs?
- I don't have anything against the mugs
- But I am just afraid to drink from them
because they are worth of something like 500€
If it falls down, everyone will get upset!
Like in life in general.
- Well if you drop it to my sofa or my bed, I don't think it's going to break.
When was the last time we were shooting material? Few days ago?
- It was during the week
- Thursday?
- Oh yes, it was thursday. Jani was waiting for...
Did you have a date on Friday??
- I did.
- Weeeeeelll??
- I prepared a meal. And Riku was helping me out.
- What did you make?
- The same shit as last time.
No, it was good.
I must admit that I didn't want to fail
so I was a little too shy with seasoning
so it wasn't too tasteful...
- Friday I was at work when Jani sent me a message:
"Are you having a break? Can I call you?"
and the matter he wanted to call about
was "can you tell me what was in the wok?"
- Well yes.
- So I was working as a consult there.
Maybe I should found some kind of
food consulting bussiness.
I could make recipes, date food!
- "Riku's date food recipes - the cook book"
on sale for next Christmas?
- Totally!
- Yep. And Riku was also eating with us on the date.
- Really??
- That's right!
- Whaaat?
- Of course I invite my neighbor for dinner if I have a pot of food!
We couldn't have eaten it all with my date
so then I just told the person 
who I was having the date with
"is it ok if my neighbor joins us?"
and she was like "of course!"
So we ate together.
And then Riku left.
And then our date continued from there.
- What happened next?
- I heard some giggling through the wall.
I couldn't fucking sleep
because they were giggling so hard.
- We were talking.
- Okeyyyy?
- And snuggled a little.
- Oh you snuggled?
- A little.
- When is the next date?
- I don't know yet.
We will probably have a week without a date now.
But after the week...
- Do you have other dates meanwhile?
- No.
- What about the person who had something to tell you?
- Oh yes, I will meet that person on Monday.
I was contacted by someone who wants to share something with me.
Something in not-romantic sense.
-Ok?
- So she just contacted me saying
"I am not looking for a relationship
or anything else. 
But your poster made me feel like
I have to contact you."
And "this is very hard to explain"
And I was like, "ok, let's meet"
- I think you better put on a Kevlar vest
for that date
You might get from a knife.
- So the message went:
"Hello! I ran into your dating add
right next to my home. 
I should have call you right away.
Well, I pushed it forward and now I'm messaging you.
I am not looking for a partner
or anything else, but
for some reason I got a "vibe"
that I have to contact you.
It's hard to explain.
Could we meet next week?
In some crossing or bus stop?
Greetings, *name of the person*"
I replied: "Hi! Let's meet then.
Can you do Monday?"
and she said yes.
So we will meet Monday.
- Have you had any other contacts?
- I got a message yesterday.
- You also had one on Thursday.
The one you didn't yet react then. 
- Yes.
Now I gave the same answer to both:
I have now found a person, 
who I want to get to know better,
before dating others.
- Okey?  How did they react to that?
-  The second one hasn't reply anything yet
but the first one replied:
Nice to hear that you are not a "serial dater"
So at least she found this positive
that if I feel like this,  I shouldn't go out with..
Well, it's complicated with this...
I have been thinking about it.
Because I put up a dating add,
it feels like it would be fair to meet with everyone
But now when I have really found
someone I want to get to know better
and that makes me go
"I don't want to date others"
So I should probably listen to my own gut feeling
But if it turns out that
this doesn't work with her
then I can contact the others later.
- Have you told this to her?
- Yes I have. 
- That you want to be exclusive?
- Yes.
- Awwww, how did she react?
- Well she seemed to be quite happy about it.
- Jani is a little cute love ball!
He just radiates love!
- You say with...? Have you had any contacts?
- Well NO! 
I'm not bitter but....
No! Still not a single contact!
This is funny
because it started with people contacting me
but then those stopped and the 
"real ones" are now going for Jani
I mean...wtf?
That is...
- Should we... make an other poster with only you on it?
- Or maybe I just put on a call diversion?
- That is an option. Or maybe we can use the same add
but cut out all Jani's number strips on advanced
- We should walk around Pispala 
and cut my numbers out!
- Or we can put new ones out with only my side on it.
We can write on top of your side:
"SOLD OUT"
Yes yes!
This is an other approach
- Yes...
That could be fun. We should have a stamp for that.
- "DELETED"
- We really have to do something about this situation!
- Yep. I am becoming the sad and desperate one.
Nobody contacts me.
- You are not becoming anything. You are what you want to be.
- I'm becoming bitter. 
- Don't.
- And I will become...
- Don't.
- ...become like... like...
- Old?  Angry man?
- Will you become a school shooter?
- There might be consequences 
if I become...  a school shooter
- I think it's ok that there is consequences 
for school shooters...
- Editor: we are not using this material!
- But isn't it so that the Incel -phenomena 
is based on exactly this?
That a male doesn't get attention from  females?
And they turn it in to misogyny and 
hate against society?
- No I will become a "pick up artist"
I will get bitter and create some weird fantasies
and base my new wold view on those.
- What is incel? I think I don't understand the term?
- Well the incel -term is used for 
-usually male- people
who feel like they are left outside
I don't know where the word comes from...
but it was just in a current affair on TV...
They feel like they have...
hmmm... usually for example bullied in school
left outside
and then they often go online
and find like minded  community there
and the community is hostile 
towards the society
and towards women,
who don't give them attention
and so on.
And often those are the site where
the school shooters have been tracked down later
In those communities the Incel people 
encourage each other
to do that kind of horrible actions
and they get the acceptance of the community by committing something like that...
And it has a lot to do with the imagery of male gender
like we see a lot of muscularly men
and things like that, so...
-  I have understood it so that
 the confusion for those men is
"But I am the type of 'good man'
so why I'm not good enough for the ladies?
I would tread her like a flower."
you know
"Why the others get the ladies?
Why not me? The other men are shittier than me!"
- Yes. But don't you have exactly that situation going on?
- I do have exactly that situation going on.
- But you would be a perfect man!
for someone!
 - Or a woman?
- Perfect companion! 
- But still no-one is contacting you!
- That's true!
-  Could you please get a little bitter now?
- Yes. I am getting a little bitter.
- That's not good. Don't get bitter!
You have to embrace life as it comes!
- Alone! ALONE!!
- Alone.
Being alone. That is the best thing.
You get to know yourself.
When you know how to love yourself then you will meet the...
- Jani. Jani! You are the one who has been dating!
You haven't been there getting to know yourself.
- Before this dating thing 
I have been laying by my self for the last...
two months in my home, so
- What do you think of dates with kids?
Have you been dating people with children?
- I've never dated anyone with kids.
But it's not that I wouldn't date people with kids
but I just haven't met anyone with kids.
- What about you?
- Yes I have.
I have been dating with childish people.
- What's that like?
- I don't know, it's the same.
- What is your experience?
- I don't know... I don't see the "kid issue"
anyway relevant for the dating...
It's not a key thing when it comes to dating
- Ok. What about older women?
- Age is just a word.
- Age is only numbers, just like the bank balance
Age is only numbers
but sometimes those numbers are wrong.
I don't know. I have once been in a relationship
with someone who was
8-9 years older than me
So it's hard for me to say...
I don't think about that
- I have the same thing. I have been in a relationship with
13 years older person
the age hasn't been an issue for me either
But of course I noticed
when I was just over 20 
and she was
closer to 40
that there were some practical things
such as she wanted to have kids 
and I didn't.
That is what the age difference does
what you want from life
in which age
So when we broke up, she found a man
and they had a child and
I am very happy for her.
