-I was in Bangkok and,
I get on the elevator
I try to get on the elevator on,
like, the 15th floor.
The doors open.
There's Steven Seagal in, like,
a little Nancy Kwan outfit
with a prayer rug
holding his massive girth
and two bodyguards.
It was like, "Next elevator."
It's like, what the fuck?
[ Laughter ]
This is direct-to-video
motherfucker is like,
I can't take the same elevator?
This jolly fucking hair mol--
What the fuck?
-Yeah. [ Laughs ]
-Yeah, but I talk a lot of shit
about Steven Seagal lately,
so if you see him tonight,
that's what those are for --
-Yeah.
-It's got to reach.
-Next elevator.
-Get under his reach.
Get under his reach.
[ Chatter ]
-Just on the street,
just on the street.
[ Chatter ]
-Next elevator, motherfucker.
[ Clatters ]
-Mm.
♪♪
-My name is Anthony Bourdain,
and I work with
Zero Point Zero Production
making a television show
called "No Reservations."
I travel around the world
eating and drinking
and making
self-indulgent television.
We have a core road crew,
Diane Schutz,
segment producer, Helen Cho,
the director of social media.
Zach Zamboni is
a cinematographer and shooter,
camera person,
and then of course Tom Vitale,
my sort of go-to producer.
Basically these are my partners
in telling stories
all over the world.
These are the people who I spend
most of my waking hours with.
They're my closest associates
and friends.
-I have, I have something to
present to you tonight.
-Oh, no!
-This is for you.
You might need this later.
-Oh, nice!
-Oh, I will.
It's sick.
-That's pretty awesome.
Let's go eat.
-I had no life outside
of the restaurant business.
I was at work all day,
and at night,
I would go out with other chefs
and talk about business,
so the transition to television
in that regard
isn't that much of a leap.
What do I do?
I work all day.
My friends are the people
I work with,
and when we're not working,
and the cameras are off,
we continue to eat and drink
and talk about work.
So there it is.
-We're going to Salumeria Rosi.
-Every once in a while,
I like special treat day
at the Bourdain household.
I'll, like, run over there
and, you know,
buy a big pile of meat.
-Yeah.
-We're going to see the wizard,
the wonderful wizard of me.
♪♪
Thank you for hosting us.
-Hey, Cesare.
-Hey, how are you?
-Cesare is an old friend.
He's made a bunch
of shows with us.
Cesare, like a lot of the chefs
I've come to know
and who I've come to be
close friends with, you know,
as is so often the case
in my fucked up, dysfunctional
but wonderful life,
we started out as TV friends
and became real friends.
-Are you...
You order, like...
-I think all what we'd like is
a pile of some selection
of cured meat.
-Okay.
-A little bit of cheese,
just split.
-Fantastic.
-Beautiful.
♪♪
-Good cured meat is something
that's always good.
It won't be
too punishing early on.
We're going for
the long haul here,
and experience has taught me
that it would've been a bad idea
to start off with,
like, you know,
a pasta-tasting earlier
in the meal
followed by meat and more drink.
I couldn't do that
to my friends.
-Whoa!
[ Chatter ]
-Okay, that's...
-Look at that!
It's a low-impact place to grab
really good food
and one of those places
that I think are,
just by existing,
good for the world.
I mean, he makes
and sells products there
that other people
either don't do,
wouldn't do, or can't do as
well, and, you know,
just a person and a place
that I feel really connected to.
You know,
it's a happy day for me
when I can go to a real
community there.
-That's so good.
-Delicious.
-Amazing.
-So this is the fagioli.
-Oh.
-Nice.
-I love that man.
See, this is something
that's just irresistible to me.
I'm happy now.
This is exactly
how I like to eat.
♪♪
Part of the process
in making the show
is tweeting about it
and engaging the fans.
We're all serial tweeters.
You know,
it's at the pathetic point.
-We are some sad motherfuckers.
Here, look at us.
Look, look. Oh.
-Like a bunch of tweens.
-Right.
[ Laughter ]
So the question I had in my mind
tonight was if any of you got,
like, just a big hunk of sauce
or, like, mashed bean, like,
hanging off of your cheek,
would I tell you?
-No.
-Of course you would.
-You know, revenge for season 2,
there was one episode where I,
like, had a nostril hair,
like, this long, you know, like,
hanging out,
you know, a crusty one, too.
-Oh, you mean New Zealand?
-That was Uzbekistan.
-Thank you.
I mean, everybody on the date
has to live with the likelihood
that if they hit their head,
you know, shit their pants,
get arrested,
that they will, themselves,
end up on camera.
But for a sustained night out
with the relentlessly on them,
were they uncomfortable?
Who cares?
I wallowed in their discomfort.
-We usually drink
when we shoot, so feel free.
We won't hold it against you.
-Everybody we sat with is,
like,
such an '04 production-wise.
-Zach, are you going to be
shooting the show either?
-Ah, okay.
Here.
-You know, Zach is thinking
about the lighting.
You know, I mean, Diane is,
like, busting the table,
and I'm thinking, you know,
"Did we tip well? Did we pay?"
because there is really
no lower person in this world
than somebody who ends up
stiffing waiters.
There is a ninth circle of hell
or a 10th circle of hell
just for them.
So that guy has paid?
Okay, good.
And I hope...Yeah...
-Thank you.
-Very well.
-Have fun tonight.
-Make sure...Did he tip well?
-Thirty percent.
-Thirty percent.
Okay. Damn.
-Damn.
-We don't tip that well.
[ Chatter ]
-Yeah, let's pretend
you're producing this segment.
How would we be able to
just this transition here?
-If you whisper in her ear,
you say,
"Ask them
where we're going next."
-Tim, he's onto us!
Oh, shit!
-Apparently,
we'll be moving onto
the Distinguished
Wakamba Lounge.
Do you like, uh,
a little Latin flavor?
You like 8th Avenue in the '30s?
-That's my favorite part
of 8th Avenue!
[ Chatter ].
-All right.
I've never puked in front
of witnesses in my life!
-Ever?
-And I'm not going to start now.
-Really, ever?
Come on!
-Tonight is the night, Tony.
-Yeah!
-There's a first time
for everything.
-Let's not.
-Let's do it.
-You know, when I was a junkie,
I would throw up
in the great outdoors,
but outside of
the heroin experience, no.
I still remember the girl
who threw up
next to me in second grade,
so that was a...
-Wow.
-...that was an important
experience.
Terry Jones lifted up her desk
and blew chunks into her desk.
Okay?
And that made a big impression
on me, and I was like...
-Sure.
-"That's not going to be me."
So I'm pretty good at holding
onto my shit.
Thank you.
I know a bar with a pool.
It's right behind the bar
the swimming pool,
everybody at, like, 1 o'clock --
Last time I was there,
I got fucking buck-naked.
That was quite some time ago,
but, yeah, pre-fatherhood.
I'm a distinguished
motherfucker now.
-That's true.
-Hence the Distinguished
Wakamba Lounge.
-Yes.
♪♪
-We're all thinking
the same thing
when we go into
a restaurant or a bar.
First thing we're thinking
is music,
you can't afford that music.
♪♪
-The Distinguished
Wakamba Lounge,
one of the last dive bars
of its kind.
I mean, there are plenty of,
you know,
sort of Irish dive bars around,
but this is really something
unique for Manhattan.
Presidente?
You definitely want to be
drinking the Presidente,
good stuff there.
They keep it properly cold,
as any proud Dominican
tells you it should be.
♪♪
-All right.
So who's been here before?
-No one?
-No.
-What? Yeah, never!
-Come on. It's enchanting.
-Yeah, this is lovely.
-No, we were going to shoot
on the holiday.
-This was always
my special place.
-Wakamba Lounge has remained
unchanged, unapologetically,
and unironically.
That's important.
There's nothing hipster
about the Wakamba Lounge.
It is what it is.
Anyone who feels compelled to go
there after having seen this,
please don't fuck it up.
So what are we drinking
shots of?
Because we're drinking shots
of something.
Definitely not tequila.
Whiskey.
-Jameson.
-I think Jameson,
a good Catholic whiskey.
-Jame-o.
-What?
I am not from Williamsburg,
Diane!
-I'm just saying,
it sounded...
-I am from...
-Oh, sorry!
[ Chatter ]
-Come here, buddy.
Come on, pal.
Yeah!
-Because, you know,
in order to be on this show,
if you want the shot,
you take the shot.
-Yeah!
-That's the way it works.
[ Chatter ]
-Yeah, there's no getting
in and out of there
without doing a few shots.
I just love that place.
It's just...
It's politically incorrect.
So Helen, Helen?
-Yes?
-I pledge to you now...
-This is that drunk talk.
-No. No, no, no.
I will sing Mark Lanegan's
"Wedding Dress" at your wedding.
-You fucking pinkie swear
to me, dude.
-Nice Korean boy, though.
[ Laughter ]
-He has to be Korean?
-I've been talking
to your mom, you know!
-And then Christian...
-Mazel tov!
-Mazel tov!
-Mazel tov!
-Mazel tov to the Christian.
[ Chatter ]
♪♪
-Oh, my God.
I'm going to get so fired.
-Both of you...
-What do you think about Pepe?
-Put that...
I entrusted you
with this terrible power.
-I won't care.
I'll put it away.
-It's like nuclear power:
You keep it in the fucking silo.
-In the bag, put it in the bag.
-Get in there.
Jesus. This fucking...
I mean, late night,
you want to keep it simple.
You're going to be beyond
how as to evaluate
a fine dining experience.
Your ability to be
a good customer
are certainly diminishing.
Some of us get a little rowdy
late at night.
So I figured
it would be a good idea
to keep it sort of
close to home.
So that means my old base
of operations,
Les Halles,
where it all started from.
We'll be having a classic
French meal.
-What are you making for us?
-It's a surprise.
-It's a surprise?
-Let me guess,
does it involve beef?
[ Chatter ]
-Beef?
-I'm worried.
What kind of surprise?
-It's a vegetable medley
of locally...
-A vegetable?
-...sourced,
artisanally produced...
-Vegetable?
Fuck that, man!
You're going to break my heart.
-Anthony.
-You're going to make us tofu?
-It'll turn...
It's going to turn you...
-People will see this.
-Yeah.
-Anthony, right?
Because we always
call him Anthony.
Um, hello, Mr. Anthony!
-He's back, and this time,
it's for real.
♪♪
-Oh, my God!
-Ah!
-Oh, my God!
-Ah!
-How's it going?
-We're, like, huge fans
of your show.
That's why we came here.
-You're the best.
I love you.
-Thank you very much.
-Can I take a picture
with you, please?
♪♪
-Yeah. I've got to go to work.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm sorry about the first
time around, and I...
-Thank you.
-That was weird.
I was a chef there when "Kitchen
Confidential" hit, and Carlos,
who worked with me then,
is now the executive chef.
Carlos!
How you doing, brother?
Okay, can I...
I'd like to throw a couple
of côte de boeuf on the grill,
cook up some côte de boeuf
for my friends.
Can you trust me with that?
You think I'm good enough?
What's great about Les Halles
is they're completely
unimpressed with me
in the kitchen from the get-go.
You know?
Carlos is a good friend,
of course.
Also, he's been on the show
many times,
but I think what they see first
when I walk into the kitchen is,
I think they're all privately
hoping,
"Oh, God, please
don't let him cook."
You know, I'm seen
as a liability
to the smooth operations
in the kitchen,
not as famoso.
If anything, they bust my balls
somewhat worse than they did
when I was working on the line.
[ Laughter ]
I don't get to cook much.
I mean, people ask me a lot,
"Do you miss cooking?
You miss cooking?"
Well, I don't miss standing in
the kitchen for 16 hours a day,
and I'm at an age
where I wouldn't be good
at that anymore anyway.
I don't get an opportunity
to cook at home much.
On the road, I'm eating
most of the time,
so when I get to cook
for my crew,
that's a deeply
satisfying thing,
an all-too-rare thing.
There's a Martha Stewart side
of me, honestly,
throwing together a little meal
for a few friends if I like you.
What?
-Are you making food
for us or what?
-I'm making food!
It's going to take some...
Look at that piece of meat!
-What's going on?
-That's a big fucking piece
of meat, okay?
-Let me see! Where is it?
-It's going to take some time.
All right. Can you watch that
for me for a little bit?
I'm going to go up...
[ Foreign ]
-As always, yeah.
-No, we need shots.
Carlos, Carlos, he wants a shot.
-I'm still working.
♪♪
-I'm really late.
I'm late.
-Don't talk to
that motherfucker.
-I can't even maintain the
illusion that I cook anymore.
Like, I don't even have
the energy for that shit.
-Oh!
-Here we go.
-Wow!
-The difference
between him and me
is that,
like, he gets pussy off
of this fucking show: I don't.
-Oh!
[ Laughter ]
-Good for you!
-Me, no.
-Good for you, man!
-Aw, I'm so proud.
-I know. We are so proud.
We are so happy for you, Carlos.
-Yeah.
I'm flying to Burnaby tomorrow
to make love to Mr. Fisty
and, you know,
he's getting fucking laid.
-I'm so happy for you.
-Wow.
-This is amazing.
-See, I'm happy.
-It's very good.
-You'll notice
there's a constant,
like, everybody in my life
has been on my show.
Where does reality end
and television begin, really,
or where does work
end and fun begin?
It's such a permeable line.
I mean, I can't tell.
I'm in this very weird place
where I get paid to be myself.
You know, is this
is a reality show?
I don't even really do anything.
I don't even know
what reality is.
I just know what we do,
and it's a lot of fun,
and it's interesting,
and I work with friends.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
