 
Oblivion Girl

By: Will Novy

Copyright 2013 Will Novy

Smashwords Edition

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TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Chapter One: Smile, Goddess of Death

Chapter Two: Valley of God

Chapter Three: For Never and Ever

Chapter Four: King Without A Crown

Chapter Five: Oblivion Babes

Chapter Six: Miss Misery Part 1

Chapter Seven: Miss Misery Part 2

Chapter Eight: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Chapter Nine: Cloudy with a Chance of Children

Chapter Ten: Childish Thoughts

Chapter Eleven: I Think I Can

Chapter Twelve: Rock, Paper, Scissors

Chapter Thirteen: Glue Sniffer

Chapter Fourteen: Oh Brother

Chapter Fifteen: Yellow Brick Road

Chapter Sixteen: Scratch and Sniff

Chapter Seventeen: Bloodhound Pete

Chapter Eighteen: Faux Friend

Chapter Nineteen: Marco, Polo

Chapter Twenty: Yesterday Till Forever

Chapter Twenty-One: End Of An Era

Chapter Twenty-Two: Misty Mountains

Chapter Twenty-Three: Battle Angel Alita

About The Author

Chapter One: Smile, Goddess of Death

The name's Essa but everyone calls me Oblivion Girl because, rumor has it, I'm the one responsible for destroying an entire city.

Here's a question for ya. Have you ever been up for so many days to the point your brain felt like mush? Well, that's exactly how I felt the day those chauvinistic pigs decided to mess with me.

Exhausted from a long week's work, I dragged my feet down a seemingly deserted street. My used and abused black leather boots scrapped along the asphalt, shoelaces whipping at my shins. I've been told my clothes catch the attention of the opposite sex but my money's on the fact it's my developing body. My dark red skirt and black wife beater matched my black and strawberry colored shoulder length hair yours truly spun into two short pigtails. Black eyeliner lined my face like war paint. I reveled in the fact that I looked fierce before Kung Fu-ing the heads off whoever happened to piss me off that day.

But of all my lovely accessories, the tattooed angel wings on my back take the cake. People always ask, "Oh, so you think you're some kind of angel?" Wrong Einstein. Do you see me with bleach blonde hair bouncing around saving drowning puppies from rivers-- I didn't think so. Each of the feathers represent a person I've killed; the only problem was I had to stop adding to it before they ran past my ankles.

Although I can talk the talk, walking it seemed to be a whole task all onto itself. My small petite frame and lack of muscle didn't necessarily send men running for their lives-- but that never stopped me from giving them the opportunity.

So anyways, I'm walking along after a eighteen hour day and as my luck would have it I just had to pass by the only house with a bunch of good for nothing morons who had nothing better to do than ogle at a beautiful woman like myself. I felt my eyes closing shut with every heavy step I took down the sizzling summer street. With my peripherals, I spotted the boys grin on their fat, stupid faces as I walked by. Fuck them. The only useful thing men do is pay for my drinks.

"Shoes untied," Mr. Show Off muttered out.

I stopped in my daze and looked back at him. I knew they were untied. They're always untied.

"So what," I replied.

"Well, aren't you going to bend over and tie them?"

A light wind blew from down the street and shook my skirt. The idiots grinned and chuckled like idiots do around other idiots. Their eyes so tightly locked on my legs I'd need pepper spray just to get 'em to blink.

"Perverts," I said trudging away. I didn't have time to waste on these pigs; I had a bed calling my name with soft cloud-like pillows waiting to whisk me away into lucid bliss.

"You know," Mr. Show Off continued, "there's more than one way to get you to bend over."

He stood up as I swung my head around with death in my eyes. Fine, they wanted to risk their lives over an unattainable hottie like myself-- let the games begin.

"How about I make you lick them," I said.

"Huh? I don't think that's going to happen, Girlie."

Each of the three boys revealed a piece of their side arm hidden under their clothing. I cracked a devilish smile-- cute, men and their toys.

"You think those are any match for what I got?!" I yelled.

The men gripped their guns tight, fingers unlocking the safeties as I blurted out, "BEHOLD!"

I crossed my arms as if to grab pistols in shoulder holsters and whipped out my hands in the shape of guns.

Without missing a beat I said, "These bad boys will make you piss yourself."

I walked up to Mr. Show Off-- the ring leader. I put my index finger up to his forehead and put my thumb down as if I'd 'pulled the trigger.'

"Boom," I whispered.

The group paused then burst out into laughter. I too laughed out loud with them. Suckers, I thought. Their greasy faces and stained teeth matched their body odor well. I wanted to hose them down like a turd on the bottom of my boot.

"Girlie, looks like you're shooting blanks," Mr. Show Off said.

Suddenly, a high-pitched whizz shot through the air like a fly buzzing. It passed over my shoulder and hit Mr. Show Off right where I shot him. The bullet split his head like a watermelon. You should've seen the look on his face-- you know, before it exploded all over his friends. The group stopped mid-laugh; bodies as white as ghosts. Who could blame them? I just turned their childhood friend into a human piñata.

"Come on Assholes, who wants some?!" I yelled and started 'firing' upon the group.

My favorite part is making that gun sound with my mouth.

"Kill this bitch!" the second man yelled.

And like magic, each time I shot, a bullet would hit exactly where I was aiming. The horn-dogs didn't have a chance. My adrenaline lasted minutes after they were already sprawled out on the ground bleeding or dead. With smoke filled streets and me without a scratch, it didn't take a genius to know who the winner was.

I turned to walk away as one of the wounded men raised his gun and pointed it straight at my back. A final bullet whizzed past me and finished him off. His arm holding the gun plummeted to the ground with a loud clank. I turned around surprised as I smiled and waved high up towards the surrounding rooftops to my partner in crime.

"Thanks Atticus," I yelled at the top of my lungs.

Atticus laid across the rooftop, embarrassed from my yell—- he hated it when I did things like that. Sweat dripped down his forehead onto his tightly gripped sniper rifle perched over the edge. He stood up and followed me along the rooftops. Don't let his glasses and calm demeanor fool you. Even though he looked like a bookworm, Atticus was the most cold-blooded killer I've ever encountered-- except for myself obviously.

***

Fast asleep in bed, the city drifted from day to night. Streetlights flickered on and the air turned cold and crisp. I was having that dream again. Flying. I hate flying.

Freefalling down towards the earth I felt the cold air cut through my clothes and chill my body. I swung my arms wildly in the air trying to grab a hold of something-- anything. My eyes shut tight as I passed through a cool moist cloud. I slowly opened them to see the city lights illuminate the surface of the dark earth. I'm high up in the atmosphere. My pink teddy bear pajamas flap uncontrollably in the wind. I extend my arms and legs to slow my descent. I close my eyes as I, yet again, cut through another cloud-- nothing better than cold damp clothes sticking to your body.

When I emerge through the other side of the cloud and open my eyes I realized how much the city lights sparkle like stars. I looked behind me to what should've been the sky only to see an outline of a planet. That's when I noticed I wasn't falling towards earth; I was flying up toward the stars.

The wind died down and faded to an uneasy quiet. I ascend past the atmosphere and glide into the darkness of space. The higher I got, the more the stars shined in multiple radiant colors. Captivated, a smell crept into my nostrils.

"French toast?" Why did space smell so delicious?

I woke up and found myself sprawled out on my bed in the position I had been freefalling in. I opened my eyes to my solar system lamp perched on my nightstand. In my comfy oversized t-shirt and sweatpants I sat up and wiped the sleep from my face. I loved sleep as much as the next girl but food was always number one in my heart.

Atticus was a lot of things to me but never a chef. He loved to cook though and even after all the failed attempts; let's just say I was curious to find out how long it'd take to get a decent meal out of him.

I emerged from the hall still wearing my pajamas and boots with no socks. Atticus was slaving away at the stove in an apron. I sat at the table still half asleep; in front of me sat Atticus' questionable stack of French toast. I didn't touch it. I remembered last time.

"I didn't add veggies into the batter this time," he said.

I lifted up a piece and carefully inspected it. "And they're not burnt either," he added.

"Uh huh," I replied as I eyed him and let go of the stack.

He was determined to get it right even if it killed me-- and with the ingredients he used, it probably would.

"Um, where's the syrup?" I asked.

He paused a moment. He had forgotten the key ingredient.

Defeated he muttered, "Buttersworth."

I stood up, took both plates off the table and dumped them in the garbage.

"Looks like we are eating out again!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, we could've still eaten those!"

"I'll go get dressed," I said and skipped back to my room.

I was so excited I accidently slammed my bedroom door. Atticus walked next to the trash. His eyes stared off absently at his Frankenstein French Toast.

"Damn it," he muttered as he put the lid over the garbage.

***

Eating at restaurants meant I always got to eat my favorite food and when you get to eat your favorite food at the start of your day, it's usually a great day.

"I LOVE strawberries," I said to Atticus as we both walked down the street. "That was so good!"

"Yes, you always order the same thing for breakfast no matter where we go. Pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream."

Atticus' stomach growled.

"I just wish you'd let me finish my meal before getting us kicked out."

"I can't help it if that perverted waiter kept trying to hit on me!"

"I only got to take two bites."

I turned to him with the pouty face I had mastered through my years of being a professional manipulator.

"I only broke his arm in two places this time," I said.

"Let's just go see Kial."

My pout disappeared. Atticus and I had known Kial for only half a year but he was the balance in our lives we so desperately needed. Plus he gave me presents each time I visited. How can you not like a guy who always gives you presents?

***

I leaned on Kial's desk with my trademark pouty face. Behind me, Atticus was on the couch eating an apple.

"What do you mean no presents," I exclaimed while pounding my fists on his desk. "You ALWAYS have presents!"

There was a pause of silence. I turned to Atticus for reinforcement.

"A little help here?"

Atticus took his time and chewed the piece of apple in his mouth before speaking.

"No," he said and went back to devouring his apple. That was it. Time to unleash the beast. I turned back to Kial and showed him my threatening fist.

"You have a death wish or something little man," I yelled.

On the other side of the desk was Kial, a ten-year-old frizzy haired little kid who tinkered with a half fixed computer.

"I don't have the present," Kial said calmly and well composed, "because it's sitting next to Atticus."

I whipped my head around. Atticus took time out of his meal and looked down. There, just waiting for me, was a beautiful old gas mask. I ran, jumped in the air over the coffee table and landed on the couch. Atticus bounced up and down from the aftershock.

"OOoooOoh! What is it?" I asked.

"It's a World War II gas mask," Kial said. "Its purpose was to protect the user from harmful chemicals in the air. I also have some unused tear gas canisters in the drawer near the window. You're welcome to take them all if you want."

Before he was even done with his sentence I had already opened the drawer and was stunned to see it overfilled with tear gas cans. My eyes sparkled at the buried treasure I had just discovered.

"Shinies! Where did you find these?" I asked.

"They're payment for an easy hack job I did for a client. He said they were valuable but when I had them appraised, they weren't worth more than the metal used to make them. So I kept them, opened a credit card in his name and wired over the money owed."

I put on the gas mask and explored the canisters.

"Naturally I split the cash up into tiny amounts, he blamed someone else and here we are," Kial said.

"Brilliant," Atticus added.

Kial gave Atticus a weird look.

"Where you expecting anything less?" he asked. Atticus took a large bite out of his apple. Kial smiled. He liked pushing around the adults-- the more dangerous, the better.

"So I take it since you both are here, you need a new job," Kial asked.

I turned around, a canister gripped in my hand.

"Yeah, the last one was too easy."

"Which you left uncompleted." Kial said.

I shrugged.

"Things have started to slow down here, you know... holidays and all," Kial said.

"It's spring-," Atticus began.

"-So, being in the holiday spirit," Kial interrupted, "I do have one you both can sink your teeth into."

Personally, I could care less about the business talk. I left that to Kial and Atticus. Just point me in the right direction of who to kill—- everything else was pointless. Plus, I think I just found an extra bonus in the canister drawer.

Atticus walked over to Kial.

"So what is it?" he asked.

"A bounty hunter group of fifteen." replied Kial.

Kial pushed a paper across his desk to Atticus.

"Six days ago they took a delivery job and are one day away from the drop off."

"Doesn't give us a lot of time."

"That's why our contractor agreed to let us use any means necessary to get the job done."

"How far is the drop zone?" Atticus said.

Kial put down his tools and pointed at a huge wall map behind his chair.

"Two cities east. A small town called The Valley of God. It's tucked away in the hillside."

Atticus walked closer to the map. He had a memory that was outstanding and he used it to memorize roads and potential exits. Me, I created exits—- along with reasons why we needed exits.

"The item is a small black leather box with silver writing," Kial said.

"I just hope they have weapons," I replied.

Kial and Atticus turned around to see me with my gas mask on, two canister holsters across my chest and a tear gas in each hand.

"Cause they'll need them."

My stance was goofy; feet pointed slightly inward toward each other. I giggled with excitement. I knew today was a good day.

Chapter Two: Valley of God

The Valley of God was a lush city overflowing with vegetation, etched into a mountainside—- a picture perfect place if you were smuggling drugs or retiring. A waterfall fell from the top of the mountain peak down into the city and supplied it with fresh drinking water before zigzagging its way out into the ocean. I took in a lung full of fresh air and almost gagged. It was awful compared to the smog that hovered over our town. Even though for decades the military has made it illegal to own a car, that doesn't mean Mother Nature has forgiven us. Pollution still lingers around our town due to the high number of military vehicles that patrol through—- like they ever do anything useful.

I turned to Atticus who was in a bad mood-- he hated traveling. It reminded him of how stuck with me he really was. With his sad, mopey look down at me he said, "Can't you at least TRY to be a little more discreet? We're trying to blend in, remember?"

I had the gas mask resting on my head and the tear gas belts still draped around my chest. To put it lightly, fuckers were staring.

"No way," I told him. "It's intimidating."

"It's embarrassing."

"Deal with it cause I ain't taking them off!"

"You don't even know if those things work!"

I shot Atticus a look that let him know he was no longer on my good side today.

"Let's just find this place so we can-," he was interrupted.

"-Hey you," an old man called out behind us.

"Crap," Atticus sputtered out.

We turned around to an old man in a dirty flannel t-shirt-- flannel, really?

"What do you want old man," I asked. He had one of those beards that was all white except around the mouth where food had permanently stained it yellow—- I like to call it the 'piss in the snow' look.

"Not you, HIM!"

He pointed at Atticus. I was beside myself. I was so use to creepy old men hitting on me but this time it wasn't about me. I was a bit thrown off.

"Me?" Atticus asked.

I could tell by the weirded out look on his face, Atticus was thinking the same thing.

"Yeah! What the hell do you think your doing letting your daughter go out dressed like a freak? She looks ridiculous!"

I stood corrected. I could feel my hands tighten into fists as my eye twitched uncontrollably—- I was unaware this guy had some sort of death wish. Atticus looked down at me with fear in his eyes. He didn't want to see the bloody stump of a man I would leave behind.

"What the hell," I screamed. "I'm not his daughter you ragged old fart! How old do you think I am?"

A long pause betook the old man. He looked puzzled and scratched his balding white head. By now our conversation had attracted a small group of onlookers.

"I dunno," he said.

"Twelve," shouted someone from the group.

"Twelve," I yelled as I spun around. "TWELVE!?! Who said that?"

I searched the group and looked for the talking dead man. Atticus kept his hand on my shoulder in a half-assed attempt to hold me back from killing all of them at once.

"Maybe Eleven?" another added.

I turned around and pointed the man out.

"I'll grind your balls into guacamole!"

I looked up at Atticus with unrefined hatred in my eyes.

"Let... go."

Atticus slowly lifted up his hand.

***

Ten minutes passed and I stormed away from the group who now laid on the ground in a beaten state.

"Idiots," I yelled as I left.

Atticus followed behind.

"Did you have to beat everyone up, including the women?"

From the distance I could hear a lady cry out, "My leg!"

It wasn't my fault she got in my way as I beat up her husband. Now that I was pumped up, nothing was going to stop me-- I wanted that bounty.

"What's the name of the hotel we're looking for," I asked to help change the topic.

"The Volga," Atticus replied.

"Volga?"

"Yeah," Atticus replied. "It's one of the longest rivers in Europe."

"Europe?"

"Never mind."

Atticus and I had walked into the rim of the town and stood under a sign in huge red neon letters that read Volga stamped across a fancy looking building.

"That it?" I asked.

"Huh. Oh yeah, I forgot you can't read," Atticus said.

"And I forgot you have convenient amnesia."

"Yeah, that's the place," he muttered.

"Well then, let's get ourselves a room for the night. You look like shit."

"That's my punishment for being your friend."

"That's not the whole punishment."

We entered the swanky place that was so clean it made you want to break something just so the employee's would have some work to do. The clerk who helped us was one of those douche-bag types who looked at you as though you crawled out of the gutter. His nose was so high up in the air he couldn't even make eye contact with me-- didn't keep him from staring at my chest though. One more time is all I hoped for so I'd have a reason to jump over the counter and staple his crotch to his thigh.

Lucky for him Atticus did all the blah-blah-blahing. Atticus always had a smile on his face when talking to strangers. Said it made them trust him more or something-- I dunno, I wasn't paying attention.

Didn't take long to retrieve a room next to where the bounty hunters were staying in, so I didn't mind being the freak wearing the gas mask inside a five star hotel because we weren't staying for dinner.

When we got upstairs past the bellhops we kicked it into high gear. I raised my makeup compact slowly around the corner of the hall.

"You don't wear that kind of makeup," Atticus said. "Where'd you get that?"

"Took it from the lady I beat up."

I extended out the compact further. I couldn't wait to test my new stuff out. One of the bounty hunters sat on a chair guarding the front door down the hall. I didn't remember seeing his face from the briefing. Must've been a newbie. Don't worry little one, I'll break you in.

"I see one," I told Atticus.

"I'm surprised you can see anything."

I raised my gas mask up and took a breath.

"You're just jealous cause Kial didn't give YOU the mask," I whispered loudly.

"You caught me," Atticus replied sarcastic. "Whatever will I do without a fogged up smelly ancient artifacts strapped to my face?"

I squinted at Atticus and flipped my gas mask back on. I could feel my eye twitching again. To top it off, the mask didn't vent very well and it was uncomfortable to feel my own breath roll down my neck. This caused the eyes to fog up quickly and made it hard to see-- I hated that Atticus was partially right-- this time. I'll have to make Kial customize it later.

"Just watch me work my magic," I said.

I'd later find out that the bounty hunters name at the door was Zohar. He was new to the group and this was his first assignment. Since he was a peon he was left outside to guard the door while the rest of the men fucked around inside probably drinking and talking shit. I slid out my freshly shaved leg around the corner and it didn't take long for Zohar to spot it.

"Hey big boy," I shouted while the rest of my body stayed hidden around the corner, "like what you see?"

Zohar stood up and held the radio up to his face.

"Uh, hey Boss, we got some intruders outside."

The bounty hunters replied over the walkie, "Copy that, we'll come check it out."

"Super," Zohar replied.

I retract my leg.

Just my luck, out of all the bounty hunters in whole town, I get the guy who plays for the other team. Three doors open around him as ten more men walked out into the hall fully loaded with guns.

"Good job Houdini," Atticus said.

"Time for plan B," I said.

"THAT was plan A?!?!" Atticus said.

I walked out into the hall spinning two tear gas canisters by the pull rings with my index fingers. All the men stopped and aimed their guns at me-- I was use to it by now. I paused in my stance, feet pointed slightly inward at each other.

"Going somewhere," I asked, "Well then, here's a little going away present."

The canisters stopped spinning and dropped off the pull rings to the floor. They hit next to my feet and instantly incased me in thick dark smoke-- the kind of expired smoke that's been left in a small compressed canister for a couple centuries.

Atticus stayed further back and picked off two men who try to flank us from behind. He peeked back around the corner only to see bursts of gunfire light up inside the cloud of dark smoke. Bullets flew all around me as I danced around the men with my knife. Their eyes filled with tears and lungs yearned for fresh air. Their shots so frantic they might as well have been shooting at each other. I opened their hotel door and I peeked inside. Two men sat behind an overturned table and fired at me.

I pulled out another canister and tossed it in the room. It clunked to the ground and exploded in a flash of light, temporarily blinding the men. All they could see was the color red as I flew inside and dropped their lifeless bodies to the ground.

In the hall the smoke still lingered as the men fought against each other, not knowing the difference between a comrade and a crazy bitch. Suddenly one of the doors kicked open. It flew off its hinges and hit the other side of the hall. A behemoth of a man named Macro stepped out. He had no shirt, camouflaged pants and a turret machine gun. I'll bet anything his blood bleeds red, white and blue.

His turret wound up, which put a smirk on his face. He loved the sound. To him it meant playtime had just begun. He unleashed fire into the smoky hallway hoping it'd take me out along with his remaining men-- just the casualties of war. The turret tore at the walls, annihilating everything in its path.

I stayed crouched up inside the hotel room—- finally, a good match. I stood up and was about to make my way out into the hall when, without warning, two grenades bounced into the doorway from Macro. I barely had time to jump back into the room before they exploded. Furniture and dust flew all around me. I pulled my gas mask off and revealed a smile on my face-- a REALLY good match.

Macro advanced down the hall. By this time the smoke had cleared. Atticus tried to fire off a few rounds but Marco held him back with hundreds of bullets spitting out at Atticus's hiding spot.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," Macro said.

Wood chips, paint and bullet shells flew everywhere. His boots clinked as he took each step closer and closer towards Atticus. Stuck in the corner with no way out, Atticus gripped his gun tighter and turned his head to see a fire extinguisher enclosed in glass. An idea brewed inside his tiny man brain.

I watched as Macro passed by my door in the hall and that's when a glimmer of light caught my eye in the closet. I dusted myself off and crawled over to it.

"No way," I told myself.

Macro spotted Atticus's coat arm peeking out of the corner. He grinned and his turret wound back up. Amateurs. Like shooting fish in a barrel, he thought to himself. He jumped around the corner and released the trigger. Bullets flowed out of his gun like water from a hose and unleashed a wave of destruction. The coat tore to shreds and the fire extinguisher blew up sending Macro's head through the wall behind him.

Atticus peeked out from around the stairway further down the hall.

"That was my favorite coat, you bastard!" he yelled.

"ATTICUS," I screamed in excitement as I ran out of the room past Macro, stepping on his stomach as I made my way over.

"Look what I found." I said.

I held out a black leather box with silver writing. The writing said Victual on the top with fancy cursive. Atticus grabbed the box and examined it.

"What do you think it is," I asked. "Money? Gold? Diamonds?"

Atticus opened the box.

"Chocolates." He replied.

Defeated, he looked down at me and showed me the box. Inside were ten hand crafted gourmet chocolates. I lifted one up, examined it and took a bite. It wasn't even sweet. Who would eat that crap?

When we got back to Kial's place I slammed the box on his desk. Some of the chocolates flew out onto his keyboard. Kial looked up from his computer to my angry bright red face. I could feel both my eyes twitching now.

"Chocolates," I exclaimed. "Chocolates!?!"

Kial dumped the remaining chocolates onto his desk. He picked one up, cracked it in half, and then did the same to the next.

A bit perplexed I asked, "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Victual is a food company. The very definition of Victual means 'Food.' The owner of Victual just happens to be a major jewel smuggler who enjoys hiring stupid bounty hunters as personal carriers."

He looked up at me like he was trying to imply I should apply to the guy.

"Just happens to be a jewel smuggler, huh?" I asked.

Kial cracked a few more chocolates before he found a hard candy in the shape of a key. He flipped the box upside down and revealed a small lock.

"He pays the bounty hunters a lot of money to deliver the box because of the expensive merchandise that's not in the top but the bottom of the box." Kial said. He used the key and unlocked the box.

"However, once the package is delivered, the receiver of the box cracks open the chocolates, finds the key, opens the bottom of the box and..."

Kial lifted two flaps on the bottom and reached inside.

"Ta-da," he said as he pulled out a handful of tiny diamonds.

"Diamonds!" I scream.

"To anyone else, even if they decided to look in the box, all they would find are some bad tasting chocolates and if in danger, the handler can always eat the key.

"And if something were to happen to the carriers, such as getting stopped by the police, the Boss has nothing to worry about because both cops and bounty hunters don't know what they have." Atticus added.

Kial dumped the diamonds carefully onto his desk, closed the box up and handed it back to me.

"I think you know what to do with this," Kial said to me.

I looked back at Atticus and smiled.

***

A group of mob goons lounged around a living room playing cards. Pizza boxes and beer cans lined the walls of their smelly, unfurnished place. I knocked at the front door. One of the goons laid down his two pair and peeked through the eyehole. I saw his shadow cover the hole and I leaned in with a smile.

"Delivery."

Atticus and I had changed our clothes to look a little more mobster than bounty hunter-ish.

Atticus held up the box of chocolates to let them know it wasn't the six pizzas' they'd ordered. The goon turned around to his boss, a fat man in a business suit that smelled like wine and bad cheese-- mostly bad cheese. The bolts unlocked and the fat boss walked up to the door.

"Ah, my food delivery," the boss said.

Atticus lifted the lid to let him know we didn't eat the junk. The boss looked us over. Something was bugging him.

"Was there suppose to be more of you," he asked.

"We ran into a little problem," I replied.

"I hope you don't expect me to pay more for YOUR inconvenience."

I smiled at the fat man.

"No. The agreed amount will be plenty. Besides, we only have to split it two ways now."

He reached behind the door and I felt the adrenaline from earlier kick in. I hoped he was trying something stupid like reaching for his gun or a knife. What I wouldn't give to go knife to knife with this guy. The fat man revealed a fist fully loaded with cash—- how boring.

"I'll hand you the cash as you hand me the box."

He carefully handed the cash over as we uncaringly toss him the box.

"Nice doing business with you old man. See you around," I said.

Atticus bowed to the gentlemen and followed behind me. I couldn't believe it. What suckers!

The group of men stood around their kitchen table. The boss opened the box and carefully picked up one of the chocolates. It broke in half.

A bit confused, he examined the chocolates closer and realized they had all been cracked and smooched back together. In the place of the one I ate, I had put a small piece of coal. The boss grabbed a nearby knife and violently slashed into the box, ripping it open. All that was left inside was a note that read, "Thanks Dingus," written by yours truly.

He threw the box against the wall and stomped outside. All he could hear was the sound of my laughter faintly echoing off the walls as Atticus and I disappeared into the shadows.

Chapter Three: For Never and Ever

I don't remember a lot from my childhood, mostly because I repressed the memories as quickly as they came. What I do recall however was a father who loved using women as punching bags and a mother too busy blaming her kids for cellulite legs and cigarette filled lungs to even care about her unfaithful husband.

Our small apartment was a sight all upon itself. Thanks to father's late night drinking binges, our ivory white carpet slowly transitioned to something more resembling leopard print—- and yes, in this case, the carpets matched the drapes. Our walls were literally stained with blood, sweat and tears and looked something like a Jackson Pollock painting-- only we'd never get a millionaire to buy it and hang it in their mansion.

Being the youngest of two children I always wondered why my parents never stopped after having one kid but hell if I'd stay long enough to find out.

On the day I left my parents place, I asked my older brother to come with me. My brother being the cash cow of the family, it didn't take long before mother stepped in and used her words like my father used his backhand, so I left.

I became a street kid sleeping in alleys and begging for food-- you know, normal childhood stuff. Then one day the big one hit. It came without warning, like earthquakes usually do. Buildings shook until they toppled over, people screamed and ran for their lives like chickens with their heads cut off. I looked up just in time to see the debris from a building incase my body. The only difference for me unlike everyone else was I was still alive after.

The building that knocked me unconscious had a cracked support beam that held up the attacking cement wall threatening my life inches away from my head. Crawling out of the rubble was like coming out of the womb all over again, only this time the difference was there was no one there to greet me. I roamed around calling for help but there was no reply. The city was now a ghost town, crumbled to ruins. Dust lingered in the air for weeks after. People who were barely hanging onto life vanished with all the rest.

I eventually made my way back to what was left of my parents apartment, hoping to find my brother Eden hiding under some sort of shelter. Took me a few hours but I found the remains of my parents. My father was still barely holding onto life. His legs were crushed under the rubble and he whispered for me to help end his life. I kicked dirt in his face and walked away—- no way was I letting him off that easy.

Once news of what happened reach the nearby cities it didn't take long before the rumors started. Oblivion Girl, destroyer of cities. Don't let this young angel of death into your city unless you want to suffer the same fate. Oblivion Girl, I liked it-- just repulsive enough to bring a smile to my face. The rumors stuck to me like gum on the bottom of my shoe, clinging to everywhere I stepped. Once you muttered my name, you sent armies running because the only thing that traveled faster than truth was gossip and I was on everyone's lips.

With the bad came the good. Bounty hunters, gunslingers, mafia drug lords, psychopathic hobo's and the like wouldn't come within one hundred feet of me-- which when you're fifteen and you dress like you're twenty-one wasn't such a bad thing. It was hard to believe that was only two years ago. I guess time flies when you're obliterating towns.

I like to think I grew into my new name the way a boy grows into a man, but lets face it, I was born with that name. The ironic thing was I didn't just like my new life I loved it, I just didn't know what to do with it. That's when I got into the bounty hunting racket. When I found out that people would actually pay me to use guns and trade humans for cash I just couldn't say no-- what a wonderful invention.

I found the cardinal rule of fashion transitioned directly over to bounty hunting: accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. Guns, flamethrowers, slingshots-- anything and everything I could get my hands on and more. I needed and wanted it all until one day I had found the ultimate accessory-- Atticus.

When I found him he was a bum working a dead-end job that he hated more than his overpriced apartment. Booze allowed him to open up and one night in a bar I found he had the gift for violence.

I'm not talking the kind of violence where you bruise someone's cheek and then complain about your broken hand for a month. I'm talking the kind where you rip the arm off the scumbag and beat him to death with it while complaining about how it's his fault his blood is on your new Egyptian cotton shirt. Then, when he stops moving, you pee on him to make sure he's not playing dead. The whole time he was destroying that guy, he never said a word. The look on his face was as if he was watching Barney with a five-year old-- sheer boredom. To me, it felt like I was some gold digger window-shopping at Tiffany's, I just had to have him. But the trick was how to force a man you just watched pee on his opponent become your everlasting slave and sidekick—- so we gambled. Gambling with drunks was like stealing candy from a one armed baby. Not only was it a baby, it's also-- well you get the point.

He got used to the idea after the first few months and I was happy because lugging around all those heavy guns was starting to take a toll on my back. To put the icing on the cake Atticus never asks about my past and I didn't care about his. It worked out perfect-- Oblivion girl plus one. Great, now I could use the carpool.

Late last year we added Kial to our ever-growing posse. The kid had guts and I hated him, so naturally we became good friends. His parents died when he was seven and left him the building where he lives. He uses the downstairs as his office and the upstairs, if you could get through it, is a maze of supercomputers linked up to one another. The crawl space between the machines was small enough just to let Kial or a midget through. Kial's business was keeping up to date with local bounties. He would find and book us the job and Atticus and I would go do them. Freelance bounty hunters for hire-- and we didn't even ask for health insurance.

Together the three of us kicked ass and I'm thankful to have both of them-- you'll just never hear me tell THEM that. Like they deserved the satisfaction.

***

It wasn't until we received our next mission from Kial that things started to become a little hazardous; or as I called it, 'fun'.

I was lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling fan, which spun at high speed in Kial's humid room. Kial had his head down on his desk and Atticus laid on the floor, all of us not moving an inch.

"It's so hot." I muttered.

Just saying it made it feel a hundred times worse.

"I feel like I'm on the surface of the sun." Atticus added even though he still had on his thick trench coat-- an idiot through and through.

"It's as if the heat evaporated all of the energy out of my body." Kial mumbled into his desk.

"Doesn't help that your place is like a tin can, cooking us to death." I said.

"If you don't like it, get out."

"But it's EVEN hotter outside."

We all three sighed in unison. I could feel the heat waves pass over me, laughing at us like this was their sick idea of a joke.

Kial's computer beeped and without moving his head, he clicked a key on his keyboard. His head stayed on the desk as it rolled to the side and allowed him to read the message.

"Looks like we have a new job." Kial said.

"Isn't today our day off?" I ask.

Atticus nodded in agreement.

"Ok, I'll let Lumina know you don't want the job." Kial said.

"Lumina?" Atticus asked. "Near the ocean?"

"OCEAN!" I exclaim as I quickly sat up.

"Yeah, near the gulf of Velius." Kial said.

What perfect timing! I could feel the cold sea breeze float across my skin. For some reason, every time I thought of the beach, I thought of ice cream and snow cones, hotdogs and hamburgers-- I didn't care what the job was, we were doing it!

I rolled off the couch and onto Atticus. He let out a small whimper as if a cow just crushed him with its fat body—- that's so like him, calling me fat.

"We'll take it!" I shout.

"Hold on, we don't even know what the job is yet." Atticus pointed out.

I shot him a look like you better not fuck this up for me. He got the message-- he always did. Kial began viciously typing away on his keyboard. His fingers like blurs as they typed a million words a minute. Ok, maybe not a million-- two million.

"Apparently the bounty hunter trio known as Ceto agreed to collect a bounty on a man named Father Atedor who's lived in Lumina for the past few years. Atedor was using the church to smuggle illegal contraband and weapons out to foreign countries. Ceto didn't take long before capturing Atedor and will be leaving the Holy City with him the day after tomorrow. Our job will be to intercept Atedor and hand him over to a private investigator."

"Holy city?" I asked.

"More like THE holy city," Kial said.

I had to confess-- holy cities are a pain in the butt. They don't allow open weapons running around their city so you have to smuggle them inside your baggage or pay off the police. Lumina police are too passively moral to check a pile of bras and panties for AK's and M16's, especially when I turned my PMS level up to eleven.

"Well, hurry up and buy us some boat tickets, time is wasting!" I said to Kial.

Atticus barely had time to pack before we both were standing on a boat looking out over Lumina, which reminded him of Sicily and me of ice cream-- strawberry ice cream. I wanted it now!

The boat docked and I skipped out. Atticus knew exactly where to find me but soon realized I'd stuck him with our luggage. What? Did he expect ME to carry my luggage? How was I supposed to hold both of my ice cream cones? The job was so simple it'd only take a few hours anyways and that's if I did it by myself. Since we got there a day early we had all day to relax-- even legends like me needed a vacation once in awhile.

The city was gorgeous. Buildings stacked so close together you could pour your neighbor a cup of coffee from balcony to balcony. Markets with fresh food and homemade jewelry strung about. Fishing boats out in the coves brought fresh seafood to the docks and local restaurants. Yes, Lumina was perfect—- minus the whole hardcore religion thing.

As we crested the top of a hill to the front of our hotel we were hit with a cool breeze. The smell of sea salt and the sound of sea gulls put my body in a calm meditative mood-- the ice cream I just finished had helped too.

I took the room key from Atticus and swung open our hotel room door. I was greeted by a beach house themed living room. Seashell and sand dollar ornaments, driftwood furniture and lush, wide balcony welcomed us inside. Atticus put our bags in the bedrooms while I stepped out on the balcony. The warmth of the sunset mixed with the cool breeze felt perfect. Atticus and I watched the sun disappear behind the water and the stars begin to shine. He then turned to me and asked with a smile, "So, ready for some dinner?"

Later that night it took me awhile to fall asleep and when I did I had another weird dream. My body splashed into the ocean water. I felt that sensation you get from submerging your warm body into icy cold sea water. A shiver shot up my spine as I sunk down my moonlit grave to the bottom of the ocean floor. The air escaped my lungs and I watched as it scurried up to the surface. My feet planted into the soft cool sand and I balanced upright. I looked around with the help of the moonlight that barely illuminated my surroundings. Something glittered in the sand. I bent down and scooped up a handful of sand. Before the dust cleared a bright orange light descended from the surface down towards me. It felt hot as though the sun itself had fallen into the ocean and landed on top of me. I looked down to the item I had scooped up and saw a silver bracelet with something red in the middle. The light got brighter and I shielded my eyes as the light encompassed me.

I woke up to find the sunlight had shot through a gap in my curtains and landed on my face. I shifted my body out of the light and muttered in a sleepy tone, "Go away sun."

Soon my body registered that it wasn't just morning, but morning at a beach city. I shot out of bed and got ready. Even though he hated the sand, Atticus agreed at dinner that we could spend half the day at the beach. Even if he'd declined he knows I would've made him go anyways.

After our light continental breakfast we left the hotel and passed by an outside jewelry store on our way to the beach. That's when my girl instincts kicked in and I got and an overwhelming urge to browse. I don't usually buy anything but if I found something I liked, I'd take it. And then I spotted it-- a silver bracelet with a strawberry red ruby in the middle, just like the one from my dream. I tell Atticus it practically called my name and asked if we could buy it.

He replied, "And by 'we' you mean 'me'."

"Well, duh! You're the one with all the cash."

That's because I didn't bring any in case something like this were to happen. After a bit of convincing, he reluctantly accepted.

I had him put it on my wrist, which he did with a smile.

"Doesn't look too bad on you," he said.

The silver bracelet sparkled in the sun as our feet hit the lava temperature sand at the beach. Atticus put up an umbrella and laid down a blanket.

"What do you want to do first?" he asked as he finished laying out the blanket.

Before he could turn around I ran up behind him and knocked him over. He threw his arms about searching for something solid to grab as I dragged him through the sand into the ocean by his ankle. Not only did he hate the sand, that was now riding up his shorts, he was also deathly afraid of what lurked in ocean water. His mouth filled with salt water the further out I dragged him. He began to try to swim away as I held tight to his foot. I laughed so hard tears fell down my cheeks and I could barely continue. The people around us watched in fright as a young skinny girl attempted to playfully drown her older muscular male friend.

Finally I let go of him and he sped off back to the blanket as if a shark were right behind him. He started waving his arms around and yelling from the shore at me as I stayed in the water laughing. To my surprise a wave crashed over me and having of laughed all the air out of my mouth under water, I splashed up to the surface gasping for breath. Even though he was as mad as a wet cat, Atticus couldn't help but laugh. He blamed the wave on karma and we continued to have a good laugh. I couldn't remember the last time we had both laughed so hard together.

Chapter Four: King Without A Crown

Ever look at someone and just want to punch them in the face? Mix that face with an obese body and you had Father Atedor. A sad, poor excuse for a human being too afraid of death to care how he stayed alive. He was the kind of guy who'd sell his whole family if it mean saving his own skin for an extra day. I wanted to kill him myself. That was before logic kicked into high gear and I realized no breathing body meant no ice cream money. I'd do it for the ice cream.

The Ceto gang never knew what hit them. With lungs and eyes full of tear gas, we left them on their knees coughing out prayers.

Thing is, Atedor's no easy escape. I quickly found out that his padded body didn't improve his ability to hop over walls and dodge behind corners. Even when trying to hide in doorways, his stomach would stick out and give us away. Also, that mouth of his wouldn't shut up if you paid it to. Thank you, thank you, thank you he blabbered as we ran off with him like we were being chased by the devil himself. As we almost made our escape, that when I saw him, the man I hated most in the world-- Jophie.

If people compared me to spit, Jophie would be holy water. Everybody loved Jophie for one reason; he was the sweetest, kind, most loving human being and it made me want to throw up. It was all just some big elaborate act for him. Behind closed doors, he was a complete dick.

I've known Jophie for three years too many. You could always tell it was him cause of his bleached white teeth, tan brown skin and his annoying little jingle bell bracelet that rung every time he took a step. He was like Robin Hood, always saving the ones in need and giving money to the poor. If I had an arch nemesis, without a doubt it'd be this guy. Did I mention he was also a gypsy? Priceless right. He and his traveling loonies seemed to follow us around like a bad cold you couldn't get rid of. Every time I'm about to rake in a butt load of dough, this goody two shoes has to come in and steal it away from me. He has this ability for showing up at exactly the wrong time-- anytime.

He stepped in front of me and unleashed his blinding white smile-- one day I'll make a necklace out of those teeth. He put his hand up like a hall monitor and spoke loud enough so that everyone minding their own business could hear ours.

"Not so fast, Essa!"

Don't worry; I've already killed the person who told him my real name.

"What do you want Jophie," I said angrily. "If you can't tell we're kind of in the middle of something."

"I'm afraid I can't let you pass without handing over Father Atedor." he replied.

"Like hell I'm going to just give him to you. We stole him far and square!"

"Well then my dear, I guess we'll have to do the same."

Jophie may act all nice and refined but he doesn't hold back, not even for a sexy woman with a gas mask like myself. He came at me like lightning. I was taken a bit off guard. He had practiced since the last time we'd fought. All I could do was block his blows. It's like he took cocaine before attacking me. I could barely keep up. While I was dancing around with Bruce Lee's half-wit cousin, Atticus stared down against Jophie's brother Micah.

Micah, like Atticus, isn't much of talker. His body is thin and when he grew up with Jophie, kids would tease him for it. Physical dominance had never been a problem with Micah, but like his brother, derangement ran in the family. Micah was ridiculously smart to the point that he could out think and react to his opponent twice as fast as the opponent could move and react to him. I've seen this man dodge bullets and counter act what should have been deadly blows. Micah's skin was like porcelain with one scar on his cheek. The only reason that scar existed was because of Atticus. Because of that scratch, Micah had a constant reminder of the only man skilled enough to be considered a worthy opponent. Worst part was Atticus wouldn't tell me how he gave Micah the scar-- like telling me was going to bring about some bad karma on him.

Back with Jophie, I was about to go all apocalyptic on his ass but I held back. I didn't want to show off in front of Father Atedor-- okay, so really I was losing and not by a little.

Jophie hadn't seen me with my new toys yet and I SO wanted to introduce the two of them. Only one problem, I used the last smoke canister I had on the Ceto's and all my spare canisters were back at the hotel. That's what I get for thinking this was going to be quick and easy.

It didn't matter anyways because Father Atedor spotted the Ceto gang catching up to us and not waiting for the touching reunion, Atedor decides to take off like a chicken with its head cut off and sprinted down the street in his flip-flops towards the harbor. It was like watching Friar Tuck in a foot race. All three groups had the same reaction—- catch the greased pig. We stopped what we're doing and ran after him. It was like a bad game of hide and go seek as we split off into our groups to hunt down the nervous breakdown of a priest-- and with seven people chasing after him, boy could he run now. It was bad enough that he dodged and weaved in between alleyways and side streets enough to leave our heads spinning but the fact that the streets were filled with shoppers made it close to impossible.

The other groups were good, but I wanted us to be better. Atticus made his way to the rooftops and followed up high as I blasted down the street below. Every few minutes Jophie and Micah would cross paths in front of me covering the nooks and crannies of the side streets. The Ceto gang trailed behind but they couldn't keep up for long. We had worn them out hours ago when they combed the streets searching for us. It was just down to Jophie and I and let me tell you, I wasn't about to lose to a man who stank of jasmine and overconfidence.

Father Atedor led us down to the docks. He snuck upon a boat and hid the best he could in the crowd using the extra time to catch his breath and think about the punishment awaiting him if he was caught by either of us. Atticus spotted Atedor as he moved towards the back of boat. He jumped off the roof and told me the news as Jophie and Micah passed. They overheard and we found ourselves in a foot race towards the boat.

The boat bellowed out a whistle and began taking motion. Atedor's nerves took over and he started jumping up and down yelling for the boat to move faster. Jophie and I were neck and neck and it was going to be a photo finish. Atticus and I broke into the lead ahead of Jophie and Micah and were about to pass the last group of people in the street until Jophie gained speed and pushed us into the unsuspecting citizens. We fell full speed into them, managing to knock them over like dominoes in a cloud of dust.

Buried under a group of angry shoppers, all I could do was watch as Jophie and his brother hopped onto the boat and snagged Atedor. Gypsy's stole my meal ticket-- this was far from over.

Atticus and I made our way back to the hotel, gathered up all our crap quickly and left. We had to beat Jophie and Micah to the drop zone. Atedor didn't know it, but Jophie wasn't planning on giving him up to the private investigator, Jophie had other plans. He was giving him up to Atedor's cousin, Albeon.

We didn't know it at the time, but Albeon was more snake than saint. He kept up the appearance of having quite a bit of money but the sad fact was he was worse off than me. Once he heard that his cousin had a bounty on his head, Albeon's debt filled pockets started to not seem such a problem. Albeon decided to take action and send out a counter offer for his cousin's safe return. The instructions said to meet Albeon at noon in the middle of the town near the fountain by whoever decided to collect the smaller reward he was offering. Anyone with half a brain would turn Atedor over for the higher bounty on his head but being the Robin Hood that Jophie is, there was no way that family wasn't going to take priority over wealth-- what an idiot.

The one and only advantage we had against Jophie was the fact that no matter what job he was about to complete, he had to make a grand entrance followed by an agonizingly long speech. To Jophie, entrances and exits were the make or break legends—- and he wanted to be the king of legend's.

Albeon sat on the edge of the fountain looking down at his watch that probably cost as much as a house. 11:59, any minute now. Atticus and I ran as fast as our legs would take us. We had at least ten extra minutes before Jophie finished his speech and we needed every second.

Back at the fountain an echoing voice boomed from all around Albeon as his watch struck noon.

"Sometimes, it is better to fill our hearts, then our wallet. These values are what separate the Gods from the Devil himself." Jophie begun.

Albeon looked around trying to find the source of the voice but Jophie was nowhere in sight.

"I'm here today to tell you, Albeon, that your cousin, Father Atedor is in my gracious care and ready to be reunited with a family who cares for him much more than any law." Jophie continued.

What Jophie didn't realize was that Albeon could not only care less for his cousin, but after Jophie turned him into his care, Albeon was going to skip out on paying Jophie, collect on the bounty and leave town-- like I'd ever let that happen.

Albeon looked down at his watch again. Nine minutes before his boat left. When he looked back up, Jophie, Micah and Father Atedor appeared from behind a wall. A rope connected Jophie to Father Atedor's wrists—- like a leash on a dog.

"Because," Jophie finished, "who are we to get in the way of family?"

Jophie's speech was so bad the only ones who should of had to suffer through it were the deaf.

Albeon could hardly control his anxiousness. He had sent mice to fight mice only to have them deliver the cheese. His plan was working, that was, until Atticus and I took back our cheese.

I was in the lead with my knife out and ready. Silently we ran up and side swiped Jophie and Micah. They never heard us coming. My knife sliced through Jophie's rope like butter and before they could react, Atticus grabbed Atedor's leash and pulled him away. When Atedor looked back and saw Jophie take out his crossbow and Micah collapse out his spear, Atedor picked up the pace. He wanted to keep all his blood in his body today—- how greedy.

I threw down a smoke screen to keep the brothers from following us. To my surprise it didn't slow them down. An arrow cut through the smoke and sped right towards us. Before impact we cut around a corner and the arrow stabbed into an stone wall. Lucky for us our contact was at the end of town waiting at a church-- ironically. We zigzagged our way across town. Jophie and Micah were close behind us the whole time keeping things interesting. I found out that smoke screens don't work so well when the victims were outside and running around.

We reached the church by the skin of our teeth. Micah reached out for Atedor as Atticus flung Atedor into the church and I slammed shut the heavy wooden doors. One thing we all knew, as long as Atedor stayed in the church, the Gypsies couldn't get to him. It was their kryptonite ever since they were banned from all roman-catholic churches centuries ago.

Outside, Atticus and I were smiling. We outwitted the rejects we called rivals.

"I wouldn't have expected even you to fall for such a obvious trap." Jophie said while Atticus and I caught our breath.

"And what does that mean Gypsy boy?" I asked.

Jophie put away his weapon and walked so close to me I thought he was going to kiss me.

"How are you expecting to collect the money, when you never met the person who was suppose to give it to you?"

"I...uh..."

"And to top it off, how does the client know you were the ones who delivered the package and not some two bit scumbags?"

I hated to admit it, but the bastard was right. I flew open the door and let the light flood the church. I had never been inside a church before, but now was not the time for a tour.

Besides the fact that Father Atedor's dead body laid face first on the floor, the place was empty-- just like our bank account. We found out later that a radical group, who originally accused Father Atedor of molesting children, put out a false bounty on his head so they could execute him with ease; we were used as the leg work.

Not soon after we received a bill from Albeon's family lawyer stating that we were the cause of death and unless we wanted to take the matter to court, we were to pay settlement fee for his emotional and physical loss. The only thing I hated worse than working for free was paying to work for free.

Chapter Five: Oblivion Babes

As each year passed, my popularity grew and who could blame me? I was freaking awesome. It's only natural to have a group of fans that want nothing more in life then to be an exact clone of me.

And that's just what I got, five young girls who called themselves Oblivion Babes. It was like looking into a mirror-- eight years ago. There were the two sisters, Lilim and Lillu who led the group. Ariel who documented all my adventures-- and as far as she was concerned, I've never lost a battle. Zophiel, who designed and sewed all the costumes for the girls and Ezra who just joined a few weeks ago.

Out of all the girls, Ezra's the one I thought who had the most promise. Even though she was the new kid, she didn't take crap from anyone and how can you do anything but admire a girl like that?

Lilim and Lillu hold fan club meetings every week but if they were around me that often there would be a highly likely chance that Atticus would walk in on me strangling one of the Little's. The best part when the girls came around was that Atticus wasn't anywhere to be found. The girls weren't so bad, as long as you didn't mind constant mindless chatter. Plus it's nice to have other girls to talk to instead of an adolescent boy-- or Kial.

In the past the girls have held fundraising events to try to raise money for costumes and weapons but who wants to buy lemonade from little girls dressed like gothic Lolita vampires wearing papier-mâché gas masks?

So then they got the brilliant idea of trying to steal a small amount of money but the grocer they were stealing from caught them red handed soon found himself knee high in hysterical tear-faced girls and ended up letting them off the hook with a stern warning never to steal from him again.

So one weekend out of the month I allowed the girls to hang out with me. I warned them that even though I'm around I'm not responsible for any trouble they get into. They all nodded like star stricken zombies more fixated on the idea that I was acknowledging their existence than the words that came out of my mouth. They followed me around like an entourage of midgets and I'd be lying if I said my ego didn't secretly enjoy it.

But lately I'd been working hard and the last thing I needed was to be inside a hot apartment all day babysitting. So today the girls and I went out to do one of my favorite activities; shopping.

The first question that came up out of their tiny mouths was about the recent fight I had with Jophie and I got excited to tell the Little's about how I heroically slaughtered the evil cluster of pompous gypsies. Ariel wrote until her hand fell off as the other girls listen with beaming eyes of envy. In the heat of my storytelling adventure, I might have gotten a little carried away in the number of people I sliced down with my blade but like they'd ever know.

Before we went out Kial had given me my share of the Victual money. Since I'd find a way to make Atticus take care of rent and food later with his share, I came to the conclusion that I'd use mine for the finer things in life-- fashion.

"So, tell us about Atticus." Lillu said.

"Yeah, have you two kissed yet?!" Lilim asked.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't blush a little. The thought of being romantically involved with any guy hadn't crossed my mind in quite awhile. But even if I did like Atticus in that way there was no way I'd ever let him know about it. I shook out of my daydream world to see the Little's eyeing me.

"No way. It's a strictly professional relationship." I said as I straightened up my composure and continued to walk down the street.

Content with my well-worded response we roamed the streets window-shopping until the most horrific sentence ever imagined came out of Ezra's mouth.

"What about Jophie, have you ever kissed him?" Ezra asked.

The other girls paused and looked at her as if Ezra just told me to go kill myself-- she might as well have, it would've been a better option. I looked down at her and let out an obvious evil grin. I could see her little body shake with fright as I towered over her. She's new and didn't know any better, but hell if I was going to let her get off that easy.

"What?" I asked.

The other Little's crowded behind me giving so much sign language to Ezra you'd thought she was deaf.

"I... I just," Ezra squeaked out.

"Hmmm?" I hummed as I leaned even closer.

"Well... you love him, right?"

I felt my grin explode. That's right. Dig that hole deeper. I looked behind her and spotted a young boy about her age walking towards us across the street. I turned Ezra around and whispered in her ear.

"See that boy over there?"

She nodded.

"You're going to kiss him on the cheek and tell him you love him."

"I'm not going to do that!" she yelled.

"You better." Lilim said.

"Or she'll make you do something worse." Lillu added.

Ezra turned and looked at me with heartbroken eyes. I felt the punishment fit the crime. The Little's giggled behind me as Ezra walked up to the boy. Silently I too laughed as Ezra stopped by the boy. I wasn't really going to force her to do it but she didn't call my bluff.

"Excuse me." Ezra said.

"Yeah?" the boy asked.

Ezra just stared him down without saying a word. Her cheeks were blushing.

"Uh, hello?" the boy asked waiting for a response.

Ezra still didn't say anything.

"Ok, bye." the boy said as he past by her.

"Wait. I need to tell you a secret." Ezra said.

The girl had guts, I'll give her that.

"So tell me."

"Come close. I don't want anyone to hear."

The boy leaned in close. Ezra swallowed hard and puckered up. Before the boy knew it, Ezra planted her lips like a bomb on his cheek. The boy didn't know what hit him. Frozen in shock, Ezra muttered, "I love you," and was already across the street before the boy could reply.

"What the...?" he said as he stood there while we walked away giggling.

Ezra didn't talk to me the rest of the day-- victory, like always, was mine-- and that was only Saturday.

***

Sunday was training day. Today I was going to train the girls in search and rescue. I had set up five 'X's' around town on the ground with white chalk to help make the targets stand out more. Once the girls found the 'X' on the ground, they had to find the oranges with a black 'X' marked on them. It was their mission to find, obtain and retrieve back the oranges to me before lunch which gave them two hours. I was quite proud of myself. I took time out of my beauty sleep to set up this crap.

The girls lined up outside, each wearing accessories on them that we'd bought yesterday and all were dressed in my kind of clothing style along with their papier-mâché gas maskss—- my little Venetian warriors. Kial was out of town looking for a computer part so I made his office the base camp and sat on his couch ready to start the game.

"Ready, set, get the hell out of here." I said and the girls took off running.

They spread throughout the city like little viruses. They combed the streets looking for the 'X'. Ezra was the first to find one. The orange was perched on a windowsill on the third floor of a six-floor building. And to answer your question, no, it wasn't easy placing it there.

The second to find an orange was Lilim. Hers was inside a fruit stand near the docks. Only one problem, there were three people in front of her buying fresh fruit for the morning.

Lillu and Zophiel spotted the chalky 'X' near an orange tree orchard and spread out combing the trees for the orange with an 'X' on it. Didn't take them long to spot it; the problem was that the tree was fenced in and on private property. The man who owned the property, Mr. Yeqon kept a close eye on his land and was known for shooting trespassers. I guess it happened pretty often. I dunno.

Within ten minutes Ariel came back, tossed me an orange with a black 'X' and sat down next to me on the couch. I was shocked.

"Where did you find yours?" I asked.

"I just thought like you and there it was."

"Well done."

I peeled the orange and split it with her while we waited for the other girls.

Ezra had counted the rooms and knocked on the door of the room she thought the orange was in. No one answered. She knocked harder. Still nothing. Frustrated she climbed to the roof and peered out over the ledge. She wondered if there was a way she could knock it over or climb down and grab it. She scanned the roof and found a few broken pieces of cement. Carefully she aimed. She only had five tries. She threw the first one and missed by a mile almost hitting a man walking by. She controlled her breathing and tried again. Second one hit the sill and bounced to the ground. Then she decided to let luck have a try. She aimed again and this time threw the remaining pieces of cement. Two missed but one was a direct hit. The orange fell to the ground with a bounce. Victory was hers—- even if only short lived. A nearby stray dog saw the orange fall and thinking it was some sort of fun chew toy, picked up the orange in its mouth and ran away. Ezra sprinted down the stairs, out the building and blasted down the street after the mutt.

Lilim patiently waited in line at the fruit stand. Now there was only one customer in front of her. He was a larger man who was filling his bag full of fresh fruit. He took his time and inspected all the items. Then Lilim's heart stopped as she watched the man pick up the orange with the 'X' on it. The man looked at the 'X' a bit confused. He tried cleaning it off on his shirt and after a failed attempt, shrugged and put it in his bag. Lilim panicked and let out a small whimper. The man didn't hear her. He paid for his fruit and walked away. Not knowing what to do next, Lilim, moving around as if she had to use the restroom, hesitantly followed closely behind.

By this time Lillu and Zophiel had hopped the fence that was entangled with barbwire and were already racing up the tree towards their orange. As they climbed, the tree swayed back and forth from their weight. Ripe oranges plummeted to the ground with loud thuds as if they were air bombing the ants below. Neither girl was skilled at climbing and both were in skirts—- speed was their biggest obstacle. Lillu reached the orange first and plucked it off the branch. She held the fruit high above her head with a smile on her face. Suddenly both girls flinched as a shotgun went off a few feet away. They looked down and saw Yeqon under the tree looking anything but happy.

Ezra had chased the dog around town and was now running through the market. At one point she even passed by Lilim. The thing about dogs is the more you chase them, the more they run away. Even when Ezra thought she was gaining on the dog, the dog would look back and speed up, biting into the orange little by little and letting the juices leak into his mouth. There was no way he was letting go of the tasty chew toy he had newly acquired.

Finally, out of breath, Ezra blocked the dog into a corner. The dog turned around and panted out the sides of its slobbery mouth. Ezra spread out her arms and carefully walked closer to the dog whom looked anything but worried. With big playful eyes, he squeezed the orange a few times more in his mouth if to do nothing but taunt Ezra. She reached out and managed to grab the collar of the dog. With her free hand she reached for the orange trying her hardest to loosen the orange from the dogs' mouth and pry it out. The dog held tight. Ezra struggled as if her life depended on it. She let go of the collar and placed both hands on the orange. Even with both hands she couldn't pry it out of the dogs' mouth as orange juice fused with slobber oozed down her arm.

Did I mention I promised the girls a secret mystery prize for the one to bring me back the orange first? Oops. They'd step on a landmine if they knew I would personally give them a prize for it. Since keeping secrets was fun, I decided to leave it a mystery until the game was over.

Back in the market Lilim bit her fingernails as she trailed the now paranoid fat man. She played out all the scenarios she could think of to ask for the piece of fruit. None of which seemed to end with the result she wanted. Then she thought to herself, "What would Essa do?" Lilim crept up close behind the man and reached for his bag. She was going to pickpocket the fruit and run like a bat out of hell—- let's get something straight, I wouldn't have done that. Right before she could grab it though, the man placed his hand on the fruit, cleaned off the loose dirt and pealed the skin. She watched in horror as the orange peels fell to the ground one by one.

Lillu and Zophiel gripped the tree branch hard hoping that maybe if they stayed still, Mr. Yeqon wouldn't see them.

"What the HELL are you two girls doing in MY tree?" Yeqon yelled.

"It's... it's a contest." Zophiel said.

"Yeah, a contest." Lillu added.

"Well I got a contest for the both of you." Yeqon said. "First one to get out of my tree doesn't get shot."

The girls looked at each other. If they didn't return with the orange, they run the risk of being the only ones to get disqualified. They made their way down the tree. Zophiel stepped on what she thought was a thick branch as she reached towards the bottom. The branch broke under her weight and she freefell to the ground, landing on Yeqon. The impact loosened his grip on the shotgun and it fell out of his hands a few feet away. Seizing the moment, Lillu jumped to the ground, took Zophiel by the hand and they both hopped the fence. By the time Yeqon could stand up and get a shot off the girls were already out of sight.

After trying for fifteen minutes the dog would not let go of the orange. Ezra did the only thing she could think of. She picked up the dog and walked back to Kial's place.

In the marketplace, the man turned around and faced Lilim with the orange in his hand.

"Why do you keep following me?!"

Without saying a word, Lilim snatched the half eaten fruit from the man's hand and walked away.

"Hey!"

The man didn't follow. He thought maybe it was safer to just let this one go. He picked another orange out of his bag and continued on.

On their way back to Kial's, Lillu and Zophiel kept snatching the orange away from the other playing keep away. While playing however, Zophiel and Lillu had their hands both on the orange and pulled away from each other. The orange tore in half right down the middle of the 'X'. They looked at each other then started yelling and choking each other in the middle of the street.

Ezra was the second to come back. In her arms was the dog with the orange still in his mouth. She set the dog on my lap and sat across the room in the chair and crossed her arms. I made eye contact with the dog.

"Spit it." I said.

The dog spit out the orange next to me. It was covered in slobber, but it was there.

Next was Lilim. She walked up and saw she was third. She handed me her half peeled and eaten orange and sat next to Ariel and took off her gas mask. The 'X' was still on the half of the orange that wasn't eaten, so I counted it.

Last were Lillu and Zophiel. Each handed me half of the orange and sat across the room from each other.

How amusing.

"So girls," I started, "I was supposed to end up with five oranges but somehow ended up with three half oranges, a orange covered in slobber and a dog. Care to explain?"

Then like madness, all the girls started yelling at once. I can't say I didn't ask for it. I raised my hand and they all quieted.

"The winner of the mystery prize goes to Ariel who brought me the orange only ten minutes after the contest started."

Ariel who was on the couch reading a magazine looked up and smiled. A little competition between friends was always healthy.

"Ariel," I said, "come over here and claim your mystery prize."

Ariel set the magazine down and walked over. She stood in front of me as I clipped the bracelet Atticus had bought me in Lumina on her tiny wrist and said, "Congrats to the winner."

The other girls didn't say a word.

"How about we go find Atticus and have him treat us all to some well deserved ice cream?" I asked.

The girls smiled and stood up. I walked behind Ariel who had a smiled the rest of the day. In her back pocket was a sharpie marker she had used to draw an 'X' on an orange she found at a fruit stand. She was right, she did think like me. I wasn't stupid. I could smell the fresh sharpie when she handed me the orange but to be fair I never told the girls that they couldn't cheat.

At the end of the weekend I waved goodbye to the Little's as I watched them walk back home. Three weeks till I'd see them again—- thank God. Atticus walked past them, his alcohol stench trailed close behind. The girl's didn't notice and swooned over him, their brains ran wild with the thought of him romantically by their side-- I gagged at the smell.

"We got a job lined up tomorrow." I told him. "Best get some rest... and a shower"

Atticus wobbled then fell to the ground and passed out. I walked away. As if I was going to carry him.

Chapter Six: Miss Misery Part 1

My dream tonight differed from the other because it was of an actual place I'd been when I was young. In the middle of the desert there was a ship roasting in the sun. Coral and reefs had covered the massive wreck from its time under the ocean-- a battleship sunk during war. The ocean had long dried up and left the titanic ship stranded in what was now a vast wasteland of sand and rock.

Growing up, I had claimed the ship as my personal playground; eating lunch high up on the deck and pretending I was shooting down aircraft with its immense, rusted shut cannons-- those things were awesome.

In the dream I could see other stranded ships far out in the distance and paranoid they were pirates, I readied myself for what I thought would be an inevitable attack that never came. Like fog, a sandstorm encased the ship without warning and sandblasted my body. I put my gas mask over my face and took charge of the ship trying to steer it clear. The harsh winds pushed against its rusted side and made the metal creak and moan. Faded white letters stamped on the side of the ship read, The S.S. Misery. What a gloomy name to give such a fine ship, I thought, as if from the time it was born it was cursed-- sounded familiar.

The sandstorm passed and at the bow of the ship was a silhouette of a young man. With the sun behind him, it was hard to make out a face but I knew he was smiling, probably at the young girl he had just watched play pirate. When I called out to him, he put both arms up in the air and then vanished-- fallen overboard off the side. I rushed to the side of the ship in hopes to catch a better glimpse but before I reach I tripped on the boats cleat used to tie the boat off to a dock and plummeted down towards the hot sand. It wasn't a fast fall, more like falling through jelly, as dreams usually are. You can feel the stuff all around you but it doesn't stop you from falling. Right before I hit the ground, guess what-- I woke up. Surprise surprise.

But I didn't just wake up anywhere, I woke up in a place I didn't remember falling asleep. A small circular window was my only light inside the metal coffin. My body was sprawled out on the hardest bed man could engineer. I'm sure someone got a great discount for buying the awful mattresses in bulk. Then I felt it-- an earthquake? No. It was too slow to be an earthquake. The sway recharged my memory and I remembered where I was, slamming the pillow over my face—- still in the middle of the ocean.

I got dressed and made my way up to the top deck. There, as if I had planned it myself, Atticus stood looking out into the distant whole-lot-of-nothing. Water, water and more water. The funny thing about being out at sea is even though you're surrounded by water, none of it is drinkable and I was starting to feel the back of my throat get dry. If I had to describe the look on Atticus' face in one word it'd be denial. He used any chance he got to escape me by staring off and letting his mind wonder to who knows where. I couldn't blame him though; I didn't want to be here either. I just wanted to know what he was drifting away to. Luckily for me, all it took was a friendly slap on the head to get him to come back from Never Neverland and he turned around giving me a look like I ruined the only fun he'd have on the trip.

"See anything?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"Well we're suppose to be looking out for pirates, so I guess that means we suck at our job."

"I thought pirates were suppose to find you, not the other way around."

"Maybe if they hear of a man overboard they'll come to rescue you-- I mean him."

"Ha-ha, isn't it time for you to stuff your face with food, like every other hour of the day?"

I looked at my wrist even though I didn't have a watch. My stomach growled.

"Sounds about right to me." I reply. "Care to join me?"

"I already ate. I'll keep a eye out."

"Suit yourself. Don't work too hard."

"That's the problem."

I stuck out my tongue at him and my stomach reminded me of its urgent needs. Was it me or did Atticus seem a little more down then usual? Oh well, chow time!

After I filled my inner desires I made my way back to my room and opened my suitcase. The glimmer of the canisters caught my eye. Since my last encounter with the canisters wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, I had Kial custom make some that broadened my offensive and defenses-- I promised myself I'd test them out later.

About a week ago Atticus and I had left port. We were going cross-country on a tanker that carried trade goods to sell overseas. In the last couple month's pirates had been seizing ships, stealing the goods and selling them on the black market. We were paid by a company to keep the goods intact and on time. It just took me a bit longer than I'd hoped to get my sea legs. Five days in a row of throwing up wasn't very menacing—- but at least I was keeping a slim figure.

Besides annoying Atticus, there wasn't much else to do on a tanker while in route. The crew's only useful if you wanted to hear the same dirty jokes a thousand times and it wasn't like you could go out and see a movie. We were only supposed to be on the ship for four weeks but it'd been less than a week and I was already over it.

Then one night, I got a tug on my fishing line. A small pirate ship had flanked behind us, caught up and matched our speed. When they started to board our ship, Atticus woke me up.

Because it was night I grabbed two of my new canisters; one had a picture of a sun with a happy face I called Second Sun. It was like a flash grenade mixed with a flare only times ten. The other canister had the words "K.O". It had pressurized gas that worked like an anesthetic. Once the victim took a deep breath of this magic dust they'd be out like a baby-- the only downside was it just didn't last that long. Kial's working on fixing that-- uh, maybe.

Gas mask, knife, canister holsters and canisters-- I think I'm actually fully prepared for a change. I turned on my dark side and tried to kick open the door; it didn't work but I didn't care. Screw discreet, Darth Vader's coming for your butt! I hoped they crap themselves when they see my menacing persona.

Out on the deck it was calm and quiet. The moonlight glistened off the water. I heard the jingle of the pirates as they moved up through the ship zapping crew unconscious with a taser. Primitive weapons-- I liked the odds. Then, as if I had flipped a light switch, I tossed one of the Second Sun canisters up in the air and lit up the ship for miles around. The light was too bright to look at so I had Kial engineer welder's glass into my gas mask-- with a push of a button I had instant sunglasses.

The pirates shielded their eyes as they ran back to their ship.

"Peek-a-boo! Aw, where you guys going," I shouted muffled through my mask, "the buried treasure is this way."

I popped the K.O. canister and tossed it right onto a pirates' head. The canister bounced off and showered him with sandman sand-- I hoped Freddie Krueger didn't get to him before I had a chance to give him a new hole to breath out of. I flew up the up the deck to my sleeping beauty but one of his pirate buddies picked him up and ran away before I carve him up like a pumpkin. I chased them down but they kamikazed off our ship and onto theirs—- the chickens. Like that was going to stop me.

Just like in the action movies I jumped off the ledge after them and Mary Poppins' it down onto their ship. Atticus took a moment out of his shooting match with a stragglier to see me do it. You couldn't tell but under my mask I was smiling-- evil smile but smile none the less.

My landing however wasn't so supercalifragilistic. With a loud thud, the side of my body hit the hardwood floor of their ship knocking the wind out of my stomach-- I needed to work on those. The vibration shot through my body like a bullet all the way up my spine. I didn't know it at the time but I had dented a few of my canisters. Lucky for them they didn't go off while still strapped to my body otherwise they'd have to clean my remains off the poop deck.

I stood up and looked to my left. The two pirates I chased down were close by-- the unconscious being dragged by the conscious. Then their friends decided to show up and ruin everything. They drew out long swords from their sides-- what was this, the 1800's? I drew out my knife and braced for attack. Two pirates crisscrossed down the ship towards me. I tossed them a couple Second Sun's each but it didn't slow them down from getting within arms distance. Metal sparked as we danced together taking turns to see who could cut whom first and as much as it turned me on, I needed a little backup.

Click, drop, boom-- instant smoke screen. I wondered how it felt getting a lung full of chemicals burning down your throat. Thanks to my short intermission, the teams evened out. The pirate boat sailed away from our tanker and my smoke screen went away with it revealing two bleeding pirates at my feet. Five crew left and one was already tucked in for the night-- and here I was forgetting to tell him a bedside story. I crept through the boat looking for the man I knocked out. Hiding-- I hate it when they hide. Grown men should never hide from a girl, even if she does have murderous intentions!

I made my way down to the lower deck and guess what little o' me found. In front of me was none other than the biggest pile of 'gold' I'd ever seen-- loot from the cargo ships. I combed the lower deck and found nothing but dead rats. I figured that one of these guys had to be driving the ship and I worked my way cautiously towards the stern.

When I reached the top again I peeked through the glass window and saw no one. Ghost pirate ship full of loot? I could taste the cliché in my mouth and wanted to gag. Then from behind I felt a sharp prick on my neck. I turned around and that's when my world went blurry. Fuckers stuck me with a needle of some kind of drug. All I could mutter before passing out on the deck was, "Cunts."

***

When I woke I knew one of two things had happened. Either my weapons had been stripped from me or my clothes had been. Luckily I could feel my cotton wife-beater on my shoulders even though I couldn't quite see it yet. A splash of cold water hit me like a truck and I could hear men laughing. I looked up at their idiotic grinning faces.

"Worse wet t-shirt contest ever boys, I'm the only participant and the judges look like a bunch of dead men."

That got a rise out of some of them. That's right, flood your tiny brains with anger so you can't think straight and I buy more time untying myself. One of the pukes leans in close to my face and gave me a look like he wanted to bite my nose off.

"You got a nasty mouth for such a pretty face."

"Yeah? You got nasty breath for such a ugly one."

Mr. Morning Breath didn't like that at all. He kicked my chair over and my body followed. Maybe I should wait until I untie myself next time before making fun of their hygiene.

"When you're done staring up my skirt," I yell to the small group of three, "and want to talk business let me know. I'll be down here making out with the rats."

Two of the men helped me back up. I grinned at Morning Breath. Even though the fall bruised my face, it helped loosen the ropes around my hands. Before Morning Breath could say his next sentence my hands were free but I didn't let on.

"Who are you?" Morning Breath asked.

"I go by the dreaded name of Mrs. Go Fuck Yourself. You might have heard of me."

Morning Breath didn't look amused. He held out a few of my canisters.

"Where did you get these?"

"What, you mean those aren't cans of refried beans? That's what they told me at the grocery store. Now how am I going to make those burritos?"

He gripped the canister in his hand and used it to punch me in the face. Not going to lie-- it hurt. A lot. Last man that did that I took my time killing. But like all pain it didn't last long.

"Are you done being stupid?" he asked.

I licked up the blood on my lip.

"Keep it coming Morning Breath, you've got little girlie hands."

He pulled back his arm for another. That's when I decide this was getting old. I used my free hands and gripped his punch mid-air. The look on his face was priceless. I stood up with my feet still tied to the chair.

"Have a seat!"

I pulled his arm towards me, grabbed his head and slam it into my chair. The force of his body cracked the wooden chair—- must have been from Ikea. The thing basically disintegrated. I stomped hard on the K.O. canister gripped in Morning Breath's hand. He screamed in pain but it didn't last long before he passed out from the gas. He'll feel that when he wakes up.

The two pirates left were too preoccupied trying to hide the piss stains on their pants to fight me. I hit one over the head and the other lied down and put his hands up-- some scourge of the seven seas. I kicked him in the ribs, grabbed my gear and walked out to the deck only to find we'd been docked the whole time.

"Son of a..." I mutter out loud. I went back and gave the guy laying down another kick in the ribs.

I jumped off and praised the land Gods. I never thought it would be so nice to walk more than thirty feet in one direction. My stomach growled and I knew it was telling me I could explore all I wanted after I slid some food down my throat.

I stepped inside what looked like a shitty bar. Good thing about places like this-- even though the place looked condemned, the foods fantastic. Before I knew it I got a hot plate of lobster sitting in front of me making my mouth water. And then, in a blink of an eye, it was gone and I was no longer hungry.

"Thanks for the food." I yelled as I made my way to the door.

"Hold up," the bartender yelled back.

I could hear the click as he pulled back the lever on his pistol.

"You forgot to pay your bill."

I turned around and faced him.

"I didn't FORGET anything because I don't have any money!"

He... didn't like that answer.

"Don't worry, we accept body parts as payment."

I remembered the days when all a girl had to do was bat an eye and show a little skin to make money problems go away. From the shine off his wedding ring and the hottie wife standing in the corner, I could tell this guy wasn't going to have any of it.

"Listen," I started, "it's been a rough day so unless you want to end up another feather tattoo on my back, I suggest you go back behind your bar like a good little boy and keep serving your fire water cause the more you talk the more I want to find out if your blood runs red like everyone else's you sorry ass talky talk meat puppet!"

And wouldn't you know that jerk started shooting at me! I ran out of the bar like it was about to blow up. Took me a bit but I managed to lose him in a sea of market people. After regaining my breath I realized that I didn't even know where I was, let alone how to start to find my way back to Atticus.

Confident that Atticus had it under control back on the tanker, I decided to treat this adventure as my own personal vacation. I explored around a little and learned the place we docked was called Astor Island. It was an in-between dock for tankers on long hauls. A place to stop, rest and refill before continuing along their journey. It was just a matter of time before Atticus's ship docked here on its way back. The plus-side was I now got to skip out on two weeks worth of water watching. I chuckled to myself. Perfect.

I turned around and bumped into a soft, almost lambskin covered coat.

"Hey Buddy, watch it!"

I paused, eyes locked onto the coat. I knew that coat. Then it hit me. I didn't have to look up to know it was Atticus.

"Nice to see you too." Atticus replied. "Although I was expecting more of a warm welcome."

"And I would've enjoyed the break so much too." I mumbled to myself.

"What?" Atticus asked.

"Thanks for rescuing me, JERK! Sooo happy to see you."

I pushed him away, hard on his chest.

"Huh?"

I could tell by the look on his face he hadn't the slightest clue he was the one I blamed for prematurely aborting my vacation. Maybe I'd just jump overboard late at night and have a tea party with Davey Jones.

"Come on Sherlock." I said. "Onto the next case."

I led the way back to the dock.

"Does that mean your Watson?" Atticus asked.

"I'm sorry, did you just call me fat?"

"You will be if you keep eating all that ice cream."

"I wouldn't sleep tonight if I were you."

Chapter Seven: Miss Misery Part 2

If I had to explain pirates to someone, I'd say that they most resemble the Mafia. If you messed with one, all came running to help. Lucky for our wallets we had successfully dropped off the shipment before our ship was filled with the stench of un-showered men holding cardboard swords.

We were on our way back home and had just passed Astor Island a few days ago when, in broad daylight, we found our ship surrounded by a fleet of scalawags-- skull and crossbones to match. Thing about being on a tanker for a month was you get to know every nook and cranny. I'd be damned if I wasn't going to make these raiders work for their food. I dragged Atticus with me while I explained my plan.

Didn't take long for the pirates to board onto the tanker. Within minutes the crew were tied and sitting on the deck. That's when I got to see old one-eye himself-- Captain Osiris.

Captain Osiris was a grim looking son of a bitch. His face looked like Davey Jones jumbled with Rob Zombie. His voice was deep and thrashed, skin baked and cracked-- a tan movie stars pay thousands for. This was the type of man who didn't know the meaning of the word sun block. He'd been out to sea so much that his coat collected grains of salt from the sea wind and I'm sure if I looked hard enough, a few seagulls had used it as a toilet. My inner child was smiling.

I watched perched up high on the radar antenna over the crowd of marauders. Atticus was tied off over the side of the ship in a way that kept his hands free to hold his sniper rifle. Since he's afraid of the ocean, it took a bit of convincing but I was pretty sure that ships rope has barely ever broken. Atticus looked down at the ocean beneath him and took a long calm exhale—- most likely cursing my name.

"Where's the young girl?" Captain Osiris bellowed at our crew. I was a bit surprised that no one said a word. Probably because they had no idea. If they did, they'd point me out right away and be done with it. The Captain took out his pistol and raised it to a crews' forehead. Now wasn't the time to play games, but I couldn't help myself.

"I'll ask again," the Captain said.

I'll give it to him; man has his persuasions. I pulled a pin on a smoke canister and watched it swan dived down to the group. If I had one, I would've tossed a nuke down and ended it—- I'll ask Kial for one for Christmas. The smoke began to fill up the deck and that's when I did the most stupid and coolest thing in my life. Like a pelican I jumped off the radar antenna down towards my prey. At the time my body was pumping with enough adrenaline to give an elephant a heart attack. And to answer any preconceived notions, no I did not lose my mind—- yet.

As I swiftly drifted down towards my unsuspecting prey I remembered my dream of falling off the side of the ship. I thought it was ironic that this time I would NOT be waking up before I hit the bottom. But like always I had an ace up my sleeve.

I had tied a rope around my canister belts, which were connected to the radar antenna. About ten feet before hitting the bottom the rope tightened and like Peter Pan I swooshed across the deck a few feet above head height. With the smoke screen doing it's thing, no one knew where the knife slicing pirates came from before it was too late.

This was Atticus's cue to open fire on anyone standing up since our crew were all sitting down. He was lucky to get off a good three shots before the pirates started shooting back. A few of their bullets grazed the ropes holding him over the water and the rope slowly started to unravel.

Now I know for a fact that I'm not fat. I weigh less than an average child, however that didn't stop the radar antenna from stressing under the pull of my weight and deciding that it was done carrying me. With a loud moan the antenna gave out and suicide jumped down towards the deck right towards me. I felt the rope give out and my body braced for impact. Again, hit the deck in the most ungraceful way you could think-- flat on my back. I looked up to see the antenna quickly approaching me. I rolled backwards just in time as everyone got out of the way and the antenna crashed down taking out one or two pirates. I cut my rope and jumped behind a lifeboat. The smoke cleared leaving only an angry captain and bloody pirates.

Atticus's rope couldn't hold on any longer and gave way. He gripped the edge of the ship with both hands as the rope splashed into the water and disappeared.

"Sweep the ship! FIND HER," scolded Captain Osiris.

The remaining pirates drew their weapons and began the WOMAN hunt. Most of the crew spread out into the ships cabins and control room leaving our Jack Sparrow wannabe with a few chosen guards.

The guards were big men who looked like between them they'd taken enough steroids to fill a bus. Tattoo's covered most of their exposed skin and their grins were so unnerving you'd think they stayed up late at night sharpening their teeth.

The Captain's group must have seen me somehow because they started to walk my way—- or maybe it was the fact that a giant piece of rope on the ground lead a trail straight to me. I had to think fast and this time the Second Sun canisters weren't going to do much with the sun already out. Before I could react one of the guards was already looming over me.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" he said.

"Meow?" I replied.

Captain Osiris looked down and smiled.

"Looks to me like a catfish out of water." Captain Osiris said. The group chuckled—- I guess THAT was a pirate's version of funny joke-- I wasn't amused.

Before I knew it I was unarmed and tied-- I really needed to stop getting tied up by pirates. This time I got to see Captain Osiris up close. Without his beard he'd probably look like an average ugly middle-aged man.

"Is this the wench that bested you?" Captain Osiris turned and asked to one of his mates. I recognized the guy he was speaking to. It was Mr. Morning Breath! His hand was bandaged up from holding the canister I stomped on and his face still a bit bruised. Morning Breath nodded to the Captain.

"Long time no see, Morning Breath." I snickered. "I guess you wanted me to meet all your cool friends, huh? Don't worry, once I'm done with them I'll come back to finish you off."

People don't usually get the chance to touch me very often and when a lucky person does they better make sure one hundred percent that it kills me, cause if not, I WILL come back ten fold. Captain Osiris made that mistake. Punch in the face and a kick in the ribs. The whole time I'm laughing like I escaped from some mental institution because all that's going through my mind is the look on his face when I get mine. But Osiris kept them coming until I quieted down to a chuckle.

"Welcome to hell!" I say to him as I spit blood onto his coat.

If there's one thing I've learned in all my time it's that you never mess with a crazy person. I don't care if you're the worst person on earth but if for some reason that child starts yelling at the voices in their head and craps themselves, best to get out of there before they unleash a living nightmare upon your ass-- and I'm twice as bad because on top of it I get PMS.

By this time the crew came back from searching the ship, Atticus was still dangling over the edge debating whether to try to save me or take his chances in the ocean-- both were apparently on par.

Before he made up his mind the pirates already started dragging me back to their ship like a bunch of cavemen. Atticus looked down at the cold watery grave, took a deep breath and let go. He couldn't scream out loud like he wanted to because if he did the pirates would've heard him, so he impatiently waited until he was submerged under hundreds of gallons of icy water before he let out the most vicious roar from the depths of his soul. Before he knew it he was above water and quickly making his way over to the Captains ship. The last thing he wanted was to stay in the water and see what kind of friends he'd attract.

The Captains ship was old enough to still be made out of wood-- except the sails of course. The two men dragging me didn't even bother lifting me up over the ledge as they walked from the tanker to the pirate ship. They dangled me over the water as if to say, 'Play nice or we will drop you.' I shot them a look back that said, 'Don't threaten me with a good time.' Anything would be better than being humiliated like this for another minute even if it was swimming with the sharks.

Atticus made his squishy way onboard the ship and hid in Captain Osiris's closet-- don't ask, because in his brain, this was apparently all a good idea.

Captain Osiris let the boys take me below deck to their homemade jail cell to keep a closer eye on me. Because of their unaware generosity, this did two things for me; buy me more time and untie my restraints. If I had a knife I would of whittled my way out. The wood in the cell was twice as thick as the rest of the boat so there was no way a human with their bare hands could break through. I'd just have to wait for Atticus who took his sweet ass time to come save the princess in distress.

***

Nightfall came and I could feel my stomach start to growl. Atticus was still in the closet as alert and ready as when he first entered. He had waited for Captain Osiris who'd come in to take a nap before dinner. The only problem was that Captain Osiris was not an easy sleeper and it took three hours before Atticus could hear a snore out of his mouth. Atticus dressed himself in the Captain's spare clothing and took out his pistol. He opened the closet and crept up to the side of the bed. Around him he heard the footsteps and chatter of the crew as they went about their business. Before Atticus could wake him up, a knock came from the Captain's door. Captain Osiris opened his eyes to a surprised and uneasy Atticus.

Quietly Atticus said, "Answer normally."

Captain Osiris looked Atticus up and down, nodded and walked to the door.

"What is it?!" he shouted through the closed door.

"Sorry to bother you Captain," a muffled voice replied, "but Eligos said you both still had matters to attend and it's now nightfall."

Captain Osiris looked back at Atticus.

"Ah, yes. I'm a bit tied up right now. Let him know it will have to wait till tomorrow. Also, I'm skipping supper tonight."

"Aye, aye Captain."

Captain Osiris, who obviously liked his brains enough to keep them, waited till he was sure the man was gone before he spoke to Atticus.

"And now what's your plan?" Captain Osiris asked Atticus.

"That's simple." Atticus replied. "You're going to let me and the girl leave this boat alive."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you're too smart to want to die."

Captain Osiris looked as if he had a bad taste in his mouth. He hated it when his enemies bested him.

"And what's to stop me from releasing my men on you once you leave my boat?"

"Who said we were leaving?"

The Captain smiled.

"Then lead the way."

Atticus felt his heart wanting to jump out his throat as the Captain opened the door. The crew was too busy working to pay attention to a new face. With the gun under his coat, Atticus had Captain Osiris lead the way. When they approached my cell I was gambling and winning against one of the pirates for my dinner. The pirate was so obsessed with gambling that he'd sell his grandmother if he thought she was worth any monetary value. All it took was one glance at Captain Osiris to have the pirate jump up and salute. I didn't even know it was Atticus with him until he decided to speak.

"Open the cell." Captain Osiris ordered.

"Aye, Aye sir!"

"About time, Jerk," I said to Atticus.

"Your welcome." Atticus replied.

"So what's the plan now?"

"I thought you'd have one."

"I've only been thinking about one thing all night."

I walked up to Captain Osiris, cracked my sweet smile and held both his coarse hands in mine. I then mustered up all my remaining strength and kicked him as hard as I could in the nuts. Because I was holding his hands, his only option was to cry out in pain and drop to the floor.

"Consider this a mutiny." I said.

Like I stated before, never mess with a crazy person.

Within minutes Captain Osiris was in my cell. We didn't need Mr. Crotch Pain limping around his crew setting off a bunch of red flags.

The pirate I was gambling against wasn't let off the hook either. I made him strip down and give me his clothes before we tossed him in with the captain. Since he was a twig of a man they fit pretty good. I devoured my supper as I changed and within no time Atticus and I were up on the deck. We locked the cell doors-- two down, fifty to go.

I wondered how convincing my disguise was as I looked around at all the men. I pulled my coat tighter around me and began to walk next to Atticus to the side of the boat. A hand gripped my shoulder from behind and I heard Atticus let out a faint scream.

"YAR!" yelled a mate with brandy scenting his breath. "Tis a beautiful night! Drink up me hearty!"

He handed Atticus a cup and made his way to the next group who let out a yell of cheer as he approached. Atticus dumped the drink over the side. In the distance I could see the faint lights from another ship as they streamed across the vast ocean. I wondered if any of them were the tanker we were captured from, but later found out from Kial that those COWARDS continued back home once the pirates left.

I had a weird feeling; the kind you get when you know something bad is about to happen. A slight pain you couldn't describe other than an uneasy feeling deep within the depths of your stomach, almost like you were hungry-- which reminded me I was still hungry.

And that's when I heard shouts from the crew on the port side of the pirate ship. Atticus and I turned to see a boat twice the size of the one we were on, a few feet away and coming straight at us. The crew rushed to their posts and braced for impact as our wood ship cracked in half like a twig. Atticus and I didn't stick around for the event and jumped off the side of the boat back into the water-- this time, Atticus didn't hold in his scream.

The bottom of the attacking ship silently sliced by us under water then circled back around. The undertow of the water slammed my head against the wooden ship and I blacked out. On the surface it only took seconds for the wooden ship to submerge to its watery grave with a bunch of men splashing for their lives-- probably the first bath they'd had in years.

***

I woke from the concussion to the most hideous thing possible—- Jophie's face. He stood above me and I bet only minutes before he was touching me with his dirty Gypsy hands.

"I think I'm going to throw up." I said to him.

"Well, you did get quite a hit on the head."

"No, it's defiantly because of your ugly face."

Jophie turned to Atticus and said, "She seems fine."

Atticus helped me piece together the aftermath of what happened as I laid helpless in bed. Apparently the company who hired us felt the need for extra precaution and hired Jophie and his Gypsies to tail us. If we failed, Jophie would've had to pick up the slack. Also, if we didn't return back, neither of us would have gotten paid.

Upon hearing that I was captured and Atticus was missing, Jophie decided to hunt down the pirate ship and retrieve us so that he could collect, even though he made it very well known it was for the sake of a friend in need—- I still couldn't figure out whom the friend was.

"We had it under control before you came and gave me a concussion." I said.

"Necessary casualties." Jophie replied.

I showed him my teeth the way a wolf shows them to an easy prey. Creep didn't let it faze him. I hated it when I can't get under his skin. It just made me madder!

We finished the trip back home on Jophie's ship. Unlike Atticus, I didn't leave my room. It was embarrassing, as if mom came and rescued her children and was now carrying their naked bodies back home down the street for everyone to see. I knew if this were to leak out I'd never live it down from anyone. I'd have to move to a new town but Jophie would probably just follow so what was the point? I was stuck with the douche bag.

Later that night there was a knock on my door.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"But I brought you your favorite!" Jophie yelled back through the door, "Peaches! Atticus said they were your favorite."

I heard Atticus's laugh in the hall. My eye was twitching.

"ATTICUS!"

Atticus's laugh fainted down the hall as he ran away drunk. Jophie stayed at the door waiting for me to invite him in-- that didn't happen.

Chapter Eight: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

When we got back from the tanker job the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. Imagine the worse jetlag in the world mixed with the worst company-- Jophie. The job went smooth of course except for our little speed bump. If those Gypsies knew what's good for them, they'd never talk about it again.

When we arrived to Kial's place he wasn't home. A note left on his door read, 'Welcome back, I'm gone till the end of the week. Enjoy some free time- Kial.' That's cute, like we needed his permission to have free time.

Atticus couldn't even ask where I was going before I was already gone. He knew me well enough by now to know that I'd be back in time for dinner and so he decided to go visit his favorite bar.

I'll never understand why he liked that dump. It wasn't like there was anything special about what they served-- they didn't even have food. That didn't stop him from going three times or more a week.

The bar was called Mnemosyne named after the goddess of Memory-- ironic because most of the customers who go to bars wanted to get rid of exactly that.

Ayla was the owner of the place and hadn't hired any additional help since the place was dead most of the week. Atticus, like most of the guys who walked in the bar, had a thing for her and she knew-- to each their own I guess. I've met Ayla before and she didn't tickle my fancy but what did I know, I wasn't a horny pig. Wasn't like I could just go up to Atticus and ask why he liked her either because, well, I've done that before and all he ever replied with was silence.

"Mr. Quiet." she said as she walked out holding a tray of freshly washed glasses.

Ayla had a system for dealing with her customers. She couldn't remember names very well so she called people by their characteristic. When Atticus first started going to the bar he had barely said more than a few words to her so he was dubbed Mr. Quiet. There was also Mr. Mouth, Blue eyes, Grumpy and so on. This was her way of interacting with the customers—- if you ask me, a women should make a little more effort to remember a returning customers name.

Being the only women inside the bar, Ayla was use to men hitting on her and could handle their drunken pleads of passion with ease but to her Atticus was different. She knew when a guy was interested the way he was and she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel the same. She was hopeful he would ask her out and always disappointed when he didn't. It was like a sick game the two played with each other night after night. I didn't know who I felt more sorry for.

"What will it be?" she asked.

"Same."

She lined five shot glasses and filled them to the brim.

"Ready?" Ayla asked.

Atticus nodded. Both froze with their hand hovering the outside glasses. Then, as if someone shot a starter pistol, they drank their shots and raced to the middle glass. By the time Ayla finished her first two and went for the middle, Atticus had turned over the empty middle glass.

"Guess I lose again." Ayla said wiping the extra liquid from her lips. Atticus said nothing.

Ayla smiled, poured him a beer and leaned over the bar.

"Any new stories to tell soldier?"

War stories were one of the few things she could get from Atticus and when he described his adventures he kept the more violent parts out and stuck to the meat of it all. Ayla would just sit and listen, sometimes for hours if the bar stayed empty enough. What Atticus didn't know was that Ayla could care less for the heroic adventures that she would never get to be apart of, she just liked to hear his soothing voice that allowed her mind drift off from all her money problems. To her Atticus led an exciting life like the kind she had read in her books as a young girl. I was surprised she could stay awake because having Atticus tell you a story was about as fun as watching paint dry.

Once he was done all Ayla said was, "That was great soldier. Want another? It's on the house."

Atticus looked at his watch. It was about dinnertime and he hadn't even started to cook my dinner—- the jerk.

"Best get home."

He picked up his gear and headed to the door. This part Ayla hated most. Hello's were great but goodbye's always made her feel sad because there's a chance she may never see that person again. Atticus pressed his hand on the door and paused with a slow exhale.

"Hey Ayla." Atticus said.

Ayla, clearing his spot, looked up at him.

"Yeah?"

"You wouldn't happen to want to...uh."

"Hmm?"

"Uh...put the drinks on my tab?"

Ayla paused a bit surprised. He didn't ask again. Oh well, there was always next time.

"Sure Hun." she replied with a forced smile.

And with that, Atticus left out to the chilled night air. He stood outside for a moment and thought about what just happened.

"Good job idiot." he mumbled to himself.

He walked back to our place and began to prep dinner replaying the event over in his head adjusting the parts that needed fixing. That's when I came home as red as the spaghetti sauce he was cooking up.

When I had left Atticus that afternoon I went straight to my favorite ice cream spot to pick up an instant sugar rush. A few months back the owner had switched employees to this young kid named Rayko. Rayko was kind of a creepy little guy a few years younger than me and every time I'd ask him anything he would just stand there with a stupid look on his face. It was the type of thing you get use to after a few months so I let it slide and didn't strain my brain too much about it. Besides, I had better things to waste my time on then this kid-- until he ruined my day.

I bought my ice cream from Rayko like I did every other day but this time when I asked for a napkin the kid handed me a note with a heart drawn on. I didn't have to open it to know it was bad news.

"Yeah, sorry kid. You're not my type."

I walked away but apparently Rayko didn't take no for an answer because later I had stopped to eat a late lunch at a mom and pop shop that sold pancakes twenty-four seven. I used the little girls room and when I got back there were flowers on my table with a note-- HIS note.

Roses-- boring. Glad to know he didn't have an imagination either. After eating and without touching the gift, I paid for my meal and got the hell out of there.

I figured I could lose him in the streets on my way home but just when I thought I'd out run him, I'd feel his eyes watching me from the shadows.

"You better knock it off before I get really mad!" I yelled to anything else in a ten-mile radius.

No reply except a few dogs barking. Never any reply from that kid. I noticed the sun was setting and it was getting dark-- like hell if I'd be stuck out here at night with this wacko. I walked, well ran actually, back to town just in time to see the streetlights turn on. I turned a corner for my place and ran into Rayko. It startled me so bad I already had my fist back ready to strike when the jerk kissed me. So I'm stuck there, frozen while this mute guy's molesting my face. After he's done I looked at him and blushed a little.

"Happy Birthday." he said and walked away.

I'd forgotten it was my birthday but that was the least of my worries. My first kiss was from a guy who's crazier than Jophie-- lucky me. At this point I didn't know if I felt nauseous or flattered but I'll be damned if I... uh... let him get away with it?

Confused, I opened the front door and walked inside. My face must have said it all because when Atticus saw me he started laughing. I shut him up quick with a good headlock and asked my MAID when dinner was ready to which he replied as soon as I was done abusing the help-- yeah, like that'd make me stop.

***

That night I had another one of my dreams. It had been awhile so it caught me a bit off guard-- which seemed to be a new reoccurring theme in my life lately. This dream was by far my favorite because it was short, sweet and to the point.

I was fully loaded with my gas mask and canisters totally owning the guys in what felt like a game of hide and go fuck yourself. That's until Jophie showed up ready to rumble. He wore that douche bag smile he liked to carry around with him so I gave him a good tap on the chest with my knife and watched as he faded from my blurry sight.

The ground below me gave away and crumbled but it was cool because I could fly and I used this as some metaphor for how freeing I thought offing Jophie would be. Turned out it was just a bad side effect of sleeping for more than twelve hours because when I woke up I had missed half the day.

This would've been the perfect time for an ice cream breakfast but I decided to take a temporary leave from the flirty ice cream boy. The last thing I needed was to be groped before my morning coffee.

Atticus was gone and didn't have the decency to leave a note-- as if I didn't know whom he was with; so I figured tonight would be another 'me' night. I checked the calendar I kept in my room and saw that the music festival in Aurora, a city near Lumina, was tonight-- perfect. I could use a little free food.

Aurora specialized in the arts. Their museums were the best around but like I'd ever step foot in a place with overpriced coloring books framed on the wall. However, their music festivals were a whole other something else. Free admittance, free contests and best of all free food-- this was my kind of party.

Aurora music festivals were Italian themed so usually everyone showed up in fancy Victoria dresses and Venetian masks. I had the dress, just not the mask. So guess what I decided to use in its place-- yep, the gas mask. I attached a few canisters around my garter belt just incase the shit hit the fan and I needed to switch to contract killer mode.

By the time I had finished getting ready my stomach growled and I knew that meant time to go. I walked outside to a street filled with people all on their way. Everyone held candles and lanterns and there were so many you could trace them all the way to Aurora. Everyone walked down the street while live bands set up and played music along the road to entertain you as you walked. Food vendors kept you full and street artist kept you entertained along the journey. Since the festival lasted all night there was no hurry in getting there. People would stop on the side of the road and dance if they liked a particular song or wanted to see all the lovely costumes and dresses. It felt like being in a vintage parade.

***

I got to the party a little later than planned but it didn't matter cause I didn't have a date. I stuffed my face and then explored around. Everything looked straight out of the early 1900's. Even though everyone was dressed in costumes I got the most looks. Who cared, let them stare. With all eyes on me, I felt my garter belt stretching and sliding down my thigh-- cheap piece of crap can't even hold up a canister or two.

I stood next to the food table and turned away from everyone to readjust my garter belt. When I turned back I spotted the most attractive man. He was talking to a young lady but his eyes stared at me—- ok, everyone stared at me but he had that look in his eyes. He was tall, dark and from what I could tell, handsome-- as long as his voice didn't sound like he was in the middle of puberty, we might have a winner.

Violins started playing a melody I've heard before but couldn't quite remember and the whole room paired up. The masked man walked over to me leaving behind his very upset female friend. He stopped in front of me and put out his hand. Inside I was beaming. Happy birthday to me.

"Me?" I asked muffled through the mask.

He nodded and I took his hand. I realized I've been working too hard because before I knew it I had sized him up on whether I could beat him in a fight. His hands were strangely soft and his cologne was faint and familiar. He danced better than me and led me on a tour around the dance floor.

After the song ended the band went straight into another. I tried to walk away for a drink but found myself pulled back into his arms for another round. Ok hotshot, I thought to myself, I can last as long as you.

The night flashed by and before I knew it we were already fifteen songs deep. Soaked in sweat, the only thing I felt was my aching feet. We tore up the dance floor and inadvertently ended up becoming the entertainment for the band. The last song of the night ended and we caught our breath. My mysterious masked man bowed to me and retreated outside for some fresh air. I followed and ripped off my steam filled mask. The cool fresh air poured over my face like ice cubes. The masked man tried to make a get away but it was me this time who pulled him back.

"You're not going anywhere till you show me who you are." I told him.

He paused a moment and I thought for sure after saying that he'd leave without saying a word. But then his hand reached up and took off his mask. I admit my heart skipped a beat, that was, before Jophie appeared from under the mask.

"Hello Essa." Jophie said with that disgusting smile.

My face turned from hopeful to hopeless and my body felt the need to throw up. Of course he had known it was me the whole time—- what a disaster.

"Excuse me." I said to him as I tried to hold down vomit, "I have to go burn my clothes and take four-hundred showers."

I walked away and heard words come out his mouth I never wanted to hear, "Goodbye, my love."

Love? Love!?!

"In your dreams buddy!"

"Didn't we dance the night away under the perfect starlit sky?"

"Let's get one thing straight," I said turning around and lifting my dress with one free hand as I advanced him, "I'm no one's girl. ESPECIALLY not yours!"

I watched as the cogs in his tiny brain worked their way around.

"So," he asked, "is this some sort of playing hard to get? Because I assure you my queen, I'm quite the catch."

"NO," I screamed. "You're what's hard to get. Read my lips."

"Your beautiful lips."

"THIS," I went on, "is NEVER going to happen and SHOULDN'T have to begin with! I didn't even know it was you!"

"Which is why you're so confused right now, don't you see? Love does that to people. Didn't it feel right?"

"It feels like I need to be disinfected."

I ended the conversation by pulling the gas mask back over my disgruntled face, grabbing my dress with my other free hand and stomping away. Even though the whole city was here I prayed that no one recongized us-- how embarrassing.

The rest of the night Jophie followed me around like a lap dog. So much for having a good time—- until I found the booze. I don't drink often but tonight was an exception. For such a tiny girl, I can hold my liquor quite well-- until I drop it.

Two drinks in and I had already passed out. But apparently not until I told everyone in earshot that I loved them more than Jophie and tried to kiss random strangers—- some were even other women, that I'd mistaken for men.

***

I woke up the next morning in a bedroom I didn't know with a woman I didn't know sitting in a chair next to me. My legs felt like they were asleep but when I pulled the covers off to take a look, I was shocked to find out THEY WERE MISSING! Naw, just kidding. They were just covered in bandages.

"Good morning dear, how are you feeling?" the woman asked.

"Wa-Water." I managed.

My mouth felt like sand all the way down the back of my throat. She handed me a glass and waited till I gasped for air before telling me her name was Keme and that she found me near her house when she went out to get the paper in the morning-- I should've stuck to ice cream.

I felt embarrassed sitting in her house, on her bed, wearing her pajamas.

"I'm sorry for the trouble." I said.

"No trouble at all my dear." Keme replied.

When she smiled, she had those eyes that make it so that you couldn't help but smile back—- I kept my guard up. People like that were usually two faced and I didn't trust that.

She cooked, so I ate breakfast with her then she insisted I stay for lunch.

"What do you do for a living?" She asked which allowed me to brag a little and show her some of my war scars. After being a little boastful about myself, I asked Keme the same and she went into her own autobiography.

Keme lived by herself in a beautiful Victorian house; a house located just across the street from last nights festival. Her husband had died a few years back from a stroke and this was their dream home. When they first moved in, the couple stayed up late at night discussing how many children they should have but it didn't take long before they realized that dream would only stay a dream.

Because of the incident, Keme and her husband Karl grew apart from each other not because they blamed each other but because they each felt as though they had let the other one down. Even through the ups and downs though, they stuck together and their marriage became stronger. When Karl had died, people asked Keme why she wasn't more devastated then she seemed to which she replied, "Don't let my appearance fool you. I miss Karl terribly. But I'm happy because I know I got to spend my life married to my soul mate. And that ray of light outshines the sadness in my heart."

When Keme met Karl she worked as a nurse at Aurora's medical hospital-- that solved the mystery of why I was bandaged up so well. She told me about her golden years working in the E.R. and how the men use to think she was quite the catch. She giggled as she explained she could have had any boy she wanted. It was like she was reading from a fairytale book, with such compassion in her voice it made me wish I'd met her years ago because I knew we were going to be long lasting friends.

The next day Keme told me about the day she first met Karl. She said when she met him she didn't find him that attractive. She thought he was an overconfident man who'd say anything to get a girl and it took her awhile to let down her guard and accept a date from him.

"He was so nervous in the beginning he didn't know what to do." She said. "When he finally grabbed my hand it was so sweaty but I didn't care. He was sweet and always treated me with respect. I couldn't of asked for a better guy."

By the next morning my leg was feeling fine enough to walk on and I felt I had wasted enough of her time. By the morning I'd gotten out of bed and out the door, walking normal again. I wished her well and told her I'd be back soon to visit her. Keme just smiled and waved as I disappeared down the road. I thought about the stories she had told me and how things just didn't happen like that anymore.

When I got home Atticus acted as though everything was normal. Didn't even cross his mind that I could've been left for dead in a gutter somewhere.

"I'm sure your ghost would've came back to haunt me," he said with his eyes in a book.

"No, your cooking is reason enough not to haunt you." I passed by him into my room and slammed the door. Men; you can't live with them and you can't shoot them—- well...

Chapter Nine: Cloudy with a Chance of Children

Ever been trapped by a group of thugs in a two story rundown house? Trust me, it isn't as fun as it sounds.

Atticus and I had snatched a bounty from some goons who cut off our escape so we took refuge in a ratty old house. The bounty this time was a ten-year-old little girl named Alita. Alita was a know-it-all little brat who came from money. Long story short, her family wanted her back and I wanted to be the one to cash the check.

The renegades managed to take over the living room and pushed us down into the basement. In my defense I'd like to state that I've always had a plan if worse came to worse which was how we wound up in the house. I just didn't have a plan in case THAT plan failed, which it just had.

The wooden support beams that held up the house ran from the attic down to the basement. Being a prepared little Girl Scout, I just happened to have a few grenades on me with extra gunpowder crammed inside. While Atticus tried to hold them off with suppressive gunfire, I tied some string and looped the grenades around the support beams. I then attached string around all the pull pins and connected them to one single strand. Little did I know Atticus wasn't doing so hot holding back the goons; a lesson I learned the hard way when one of the renegades' wild bullets found its way into the basement and gave a high five to one of my grenades. I was blown into the opposing wall but the fun didn't stop there. I felt like the wicked witch of the East as the condemned house landed on top of me—- well at least we still won?

While Atticus sifted through the debris to find yours truly, the now totally pissed off renegades clawed their way out and began a foot chase with Atticus.

I laid in the cool dirt unconscious resting my eyes. Next thing I knew I'd awaken with Alita standing over me shaking me like a hurricane.

"What do you want!?!" I asked.

"Are you awake?"

"Well yeah."

"Where's your friend?"

"My who?"

I had to pause and think for a moment. I didn't know whom she was talking about. And to top that, I couldn't remember who I was.

"Who are you?" I asked her as I sat up.

"Alita."

I stood up and my legs wobbled like jello. I grabbed a hold of Alita's shoulder for support.

"Do you remember who I am?" I asked.

That's when the brat took advantage of MY situation. It was like handing money to a robber without them even asking for it. I'd like to blame it on Karma coming back to bite me in the ass, but lets face it; this kid was a candy coated time bomb. She paused a moment then said, "You don't recognize me mommy?"

Those were the type of comments I'd wash out with soap but instead of reaching for the closest gallon of bleach, I grabbed a hold of her hand and we walked down the road towards the nearest town.

Alita made up a clever little story about how that was our house and the 'bad people' had come in and blown it to shreds by accidently shooting a pile of fertilizer we had stored in the basement. I wanted to seem as though everything was normal so I shook my head saying, "Oh yes, the fertilizer," never once did the thought cross my mind that fertilizer doesn't just blow up when you shoot it, nor the fact that the brat didn't even bother to make up a fictitious husband for me. When I did ask about a potential husband, Alita went off about how I told her I could never remarry after she was born because I claimed the childbirth scars were too unappealing for any man.

Back in the real world, Alita didn't have it so hot at home. She came from a well to do family that kept her so sheltered that getting kidnapped was on par with going to Disneyland. It was like a vacation from everyone that'd ever pissed her off, so in retrospect, I could see why she wanted to milk it for all it was worth. Bandits, badasses and boys-- what wasn't to love?

While Alita blathered lies into my ear, I smelled a local bakery and noticed that we'd arrived in a nearby town-- which just happened to be Aurora. We stopped near the window and stared at all the yummy-looking pastries. I felt my stomach rumble so I turned to Alita.

"I'm hungry."

"Well, let's eat!"

I liked the way this girl thought, that was, until she seated us at the most expensive place in the city and had me, her 'mom' pay the bill. I'd bet anything the brats' weekly allowance could pay my rent let alone a hundred of those dinners. As I paid the bill, Keme spotted us through the front window and tapped on the glass. She waved at us and Alita waved back. She waited for us to walk out and greeted us with saying, "Hello Essa! How's your leg?"

"My leg? Fine."

How did she know about our house exploding, I thought.

"And who is the little friend you're with?"

"Oh Grandma," Alita replied. "You're so silly. You remember me, Alita your granddaughter."

I had to give it to little snake; she had guts. Alita gave a wink as Keme looked up at my ignorant smiling face. Mistaking this abuse as some sort of game she replied, "I know that Alita, I was just testing you," and took Alita's hand as she led the way back to her house for some after lunch tea and dessert.

I followed trying to rack my brain. Why didn't this ring a bell, why did I have a gas mask around my neck and WHY was I dressed so... un-motherly? I came to the conclusion that I had officially lost my mind. But it wasn't like I could just go up to strangers and ask, "Excuse me, have you seen my brain?" on the off chance someone would reply, "Yeah, it's over there being peed on by my dog."

Back at her place Alita helped Keme in the kitchen and filled her in on the elaborate game we were playing so that Keme could join in on the fun. Soon after Keme and Alita brought out tiny homemade cakes from her kitchen. I had long lost my appetite. While we left the tea brewing in our cups Keme looked at me and said, "Alita tells me some bad boys have blown up your house."

"Yes," I replied. "I don't know where we'll stay tonight. I can't remember anyone to call."

"Nonsense, you're staying the night here. I insist. I can't have a mother and her child wandering about the streets after some catastrophic event like that!"

"That's very kind of you."

Keme smiled and we both sipped our tea.

***

By the third day Atticus, like a true hero, decided to give up on his search for us. He figured that if the roles were reversed he had searched a whole three days longer than I would've and thought if I were still alive, I'd make it back to our place sooner or later.

Myself on the other hand had begun to get the hang of the motherly role. Keme was gracious enough to loan me some clothes from when she was my age since mine were in the wash. The outdated dress was so long I was afraid of I'd trip over it. I looked like I just came out of the fifties ready to jive with all the cool cats.

After brunch, Alita wanted to go on a picnic at the beach with Grandma and I. The day before Keme and I went shopping for Alita and bought her some sort of inflatable tube thing since Alita didn't know how to swim.

***

Something about the beach felt familiar to me as I dug my toes into the sand. It was on the tip of my tongue. I felt if I walked around it might come back to me so I walked up to Alita and towered over her. Alita, who'd just finished putting on her tube turned around and asked, "What's up?"

Then, for some reason I couldn't explain I pushed Alita over, grabbed her by her foot and walked towards the water.

"What the HELL are you doing!?!" Alita screamed at me as she slid across the sand and into the water.

With the inner tube around her waist and without saying a word of warning, I used one hand and held her head under water, then let go quickly and watched her skyrocket up to the surface.

As the cool salt water sprinkled my face, all my memories rushed back to me.

"What the HELL mommy!?!" Alita screamed.

Mommy? I turned to Keme and yelled out, "Is she talking to you?"

Keme looked up from her sun bathing.

"I'm afraid not. Don't you remember our game? You're the mom. I'm the Grandma."

I WAS THE WHAT!?!?

"Like HELL I am!" I shouted as I grabbed Alita's fat head and held her under water again. When I couldn't see bubbles any longer I let go of Alita's head and she gasped for air as she rocketed back to the surface-- darn, who taught her how to hold her breath?

Then it hit me; you don't really see a lot of seven-year-old pregnant women walk around, which is how old I would've been if that spawn from Satan really was my child. Keme looked at me like I was nuts and I returned the glance.

"Well great. That's just GREAT!" Alita yelled as she stormed out of the water holding up her inner tube. "And who told you that you could get your memory back anyways!?!"

I was a bit shocked. Little brat had a dark side.

"I'm sorry but the game's over Keme," Alita said using a towel to dry off. "Sleeping beauty here decided to wake up."

Alita walked up the beach back to the house leaving Keme and I to catch up-- I felt my eye twitching. After a quick change in the public bathrooms, which only slightly had pee everywhere, I grabbed Alita kicking and screaming and headed back to my place. All that went through my mind was, "Atticus. Must KILL Atticus."

***

I threw open the door and Atticus turned around from the table with a look of relief.

"ATTICUS!" I SCREAMED.

"Essa!" he exclaimed as I hurled Alita in the air at him. She landed on top of him and tried to stand up using his face as leverage.

"I hope you get a concussion so that it's my turn NOT to go look for you!"

"Good to see you too." he muffled back.

"Listen, I-" Alita began.

"-YOU'VE had enough talking for one lifetime." I interrupted. "You're lucky I didn't gut you like a fish and leave you for the seagull's back there!"

That shut her up for a bit.

"And you!" I shouted as I stomped towards Atticus with fire in my eyes. "You'll be lucky if all I do IS gut you!"

I think he crapped his pants cause he didn't say a word back-- like a good little boy.

I walked into my room, slammed the door and took a shower. It felt good to put on clothes-- MY CLOTHES. When I came out there was a small pint of strawberry ice cream waiting for me on the table—- it was a good start to an apology along with the empty house. I stretched out on the couch and inhaled my happy dessert. Damn Atticus for putting me in a good mood. How could I be angry with ice cream in my belly?

I didn't know it at the time but I had spoken too soon. There was a knock at the door and when I peeked through the eyehole I saw Jophie standing on the other side. He leaned into the eyehole and searched for movement. I had already ducked to the ground and wondered how well the door would stand up to a grenade blast. Knowing Jophie's luck, if the door blew up in his face, it'd probably just shatter into hundred dollar bills.

"I know you're in there Essa!" he yelled through the door. "I can hear you breathing."

Bullshit. What a poor bluff.

"And should you really be eating strawberry ice cream at this hour?" He added.

Ok, that's just creepy. I flung open the door.

"What do you want Jophie?! If you're so psychic can't you tell I don't want to talk to you?"

"I have something important to tell you."

"So tell."

"Can I come in?"

"No, but you will anyways."

He took a few steps inside when he said, "Essa, no matter what feelings we have for each other, you can not fall in love with me."

"Ok, get out."

"Let me finish. Even though you secretly love me-"

"Hold up there. Let's get something straight. I will never be in love with you. I don't even like to be around the same air you breathe."

"Yes, yes. The elaborate act you put up. Please, don't make this harder than it has to. I know you're irresistibly drawn to me, but we must be strong!"

"Jophie," I began as I held back my fury, "If you don't leave right now," I whispered, "I'm going to slice your balls off, cook and then feed them to Atticus tonight for dinner."

Jophie didn't have to look down to feel my cold blade against his thigh. I slowly walked him back outside. Normally I wouldn't have been so hard on him, he just picked the worse day possible—- a day that ended with a 'Y'.

"You're right. Coming here has only seduced you more. No need to falsely threaten me. But remember this-"

I slammed the door on him with all my might—- and with that, my living nightmare was over.

Later that night Atticus walked back through the door, but there was something wrong; Alita was still with him.

"What's SHE doing back here? You were suppose to replace her with a big bag of cash, or did you forget?"

"We decided to give you some space before dinner." Alita replied.

"Oh really? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware it was national piss off Essa day today. Otherwise I would've stocked up on more bullets because I was under the assumption that in order to eat, we would have to turn YOU into cash!"

"That's right," Alita said, "until Atticus and I made a deal."

"Did you now?" I asked standing up into Atticus's face. "Atticus, why don't you explain, in GREAT detail, this plan you made without me."

"I will," Alita said. "Tomorrow, when the three of us visit Kial."

"Well, I can see who wears the pants in this relationship and I'm so glad Atticus filled you in on our little operation. But suffice it to say, you won't be meeting Kial tomorrow." I said to Alita. "Now, you'll have to pardon me if I decide not to eat with a ten year old little girl and a person who tricked me into being her mommy for a week."

I walked into my room, locked the door and decided that it would be a good time to call it a night before I just killed EVERYONE.

Chapter Ten: Childish Thoughts

I awoke prematurely to the sound of Alita laughing and mistook the noise for an unwanted person in MY house. In retaliation I smashed a soft fluffy pillow over my face in an attempt to either drown out the noise or suffocate myself-- whichever came first. However, due to the lack of oxygen, I ended up passing out into a weird dream.

***

In it, everyone was dressed from the 1950's. It was night and I found myself walking down a rainy and foggy main street when all of a sudden I heard music coming from one of the New York style nightclubs. The music felt like an old friend inviting me in for a drink and who was I to say no?

Inside the club blurry-faced people mingled in the shadows of the smoke filled bar as a band played up on stage. The music was fast and made me believe my feet had a mind of their own-- that was, until she came onstage. I'd never seen such a beautiful dark silk dress like the one she wore, her hair pinned back in an elaborate 'I've got more money then you' kind of way. She gripped the microphone like a lover and whispered enchanted melodies into its echoing ear. Took me a moment to realize it was Ayla, Atticus's bartender crush. She looked so attractive that even I couldn't stop drooling. Freshly painted red lipstick with a yellow hydrangea pinned in her hair blended well with her light brown eyes.

Behind her Atticus softly strummed a cello as Kial followed up on piano. The room was dead with silent in a trance as the group played their love song. When Ayla finished her voice left you wanting more like some sort of junkie. Sitting at a table, illuminated by the glow of a candle, I realized I'd forgotten to blink as the club roared with applause. It was as if she had given us a gift and we had no other way to thank her than to applaud for more.

The clapping turned to a rhythm and felt so loud I felt it vibrate off my chest. It got to the point of ear deafening when my eyes opened to a clock that read eleven. ELEVEN!?! Overslept again!

I rushed through my morning routine and out the door at ten minutes past-- a new record if I do say so myself. I caught up to Atticus who accompanied me to Kial's place. When I slid open Kial's door I was so horrified I nearly puked-- Alita and Kial were making out.

"WHORE!" I yelled as I threw the nearest object around me at the slut and hit her right in the head-- my only regret being it wasn't my knife.

Alita screamed out a, "BITCH!" as she jumped over the table and made a run at me. I let out a smile because if I had known that was all it took to push her over the edge I would of done it a long time ago. When Alita ran at me I saw that glazed look in her eyes. For a moment Alita reminded me of a younger me and I had no problem beating the crap out of the girl playing a poor excuse for my inner child.

It was no secret I hated the little brat and I wasn't about to hold back. Alita jumped on, up and over the couch right to me. I couldn't stop grinning as I grabbed for my knife; that was missing. As Alita jumped on top of me, I looked over at Atticus who had a guilty look on his face and I watched as he placed my knife behind his back-- sneaky S.O.B. stealing my knife! Oh well, fists worked just as well.

"Should we do something?" Kial asked Atticus while Alita and I went at it.

"Sure. You go ahead and try to break that up."

Kial looked over at us as I got to put a few good punches into Alita's face—- you know, to make her look pretty for a change. I received a swift rib jab back followed by some hair pulling.

***

Half an hour rolled by with Alita and I on the ground out of breath. All we could muster were a few sporadic soft kicks or light hand slaps.

"I'm gonna kill you." I kept repeating.

"I'll take you on any day, fatty." Alita replied back.

"We'll, now that I have everyone's attention," Kial said, "I've got a bit of an announcement."

"Please tell me she's pregnant and that the father is some sort of blind deformed alien zombie from hell." I said.

Just an angry look back from Alita-- SCARY!

"Actually, it does have to do with Alita. As of today, she's the newest member of our team."

If I hadn't been lying on the floor I would of fallen over.

"You might want to reconsider-" Atticus tried before I cut him off.

"-Have you lost your MIND!?!"

"Why, jealous someone pretty is finally part of the group?" Alita smirked.

"I thought the word pretty implied you didn't look like a boy." I whipped back.

"AND," Kial went on, "because I know you two love each other so much, I'm having Alita train privately with Essa for the first week.

"Well, I quit." I said as I pulled myself up in the doorway.

"Essa, come back!" Atticus called out.

"NO!" I shouted. "I will not stand here and listen to how our prize money gets sworn in as a member to the honorary club of brain damaged boys. It's either her or me!"

***

"Just because I have to train you, doesn't mean I'm going to have your back in battle." I said to Alita as we walked to her first training mission.

"Thanks for the wisdom, oh great teacher. I think I can handle my own."

"Good luck with all that 'thinking'."

I didn't really have a group of thugs to unleash on her so I assembled the next best thing-- the Oblivion Babes; not only were they fierce little girls, but they hated Alita for becoming my sidekick, a position they craved for years.

I brought a couple of items along with us on the training mission. One being a bag of stuff and the other was a gallon jug of water-- I made Alita carry both. After all, she'll need to bulk up.

We walked down to the dock and jumped on a ship. Before they knew it, we were standing next to the S.S. Miss Misery. She looked as awful as the last time I saw her.

"Cool!" Lillim said as the girls climbed up through the rusted ship.

By the time we got to the deck the sun was setting but that was all in my master plan. I tossed the bag of stuff to Ezra.

"Here, hand these out." I said as I sat back against the ship. Ezra handed out water guns from the bag.

"Water guns?" Alita asked. "What are we doing with water guns?"

"Not 'we'." I told her. "Them."

I pointed at the Oblivion Babes. I could see the small wheels of thought turn inside each tiny head.

"Why?" Alita asked.

"It's simple, my stupid-minded girl. THEY are going chase and shoot YOU and it is your objective to find and reach me before one drop of water gets on your dwarfish undeveloped body."

"But that's impossible."

"THAT is what I have to do every day, but if you think you're not up to it, we can just go home now and tell Kial I was right."

Three, two, one.

"Let's do it." Alita muttered.

"Good." I replied. "Fill them up."

Once the guns were filled and the girls were hidden around the ship, I gave Alita a smoke grenade and a word of advice.

"Count out loud to twenty and try not to make this boring."

"Yes, mommy."

I flipped her the bird and disappeared inside the ship. This was going to be good. I forgot to tell Alita that I'd also put vinegar in the water guns so on the off chance she'd get soaked, not only would she be wet but smell bad-- not like she needed help in that department. Oh well, sometimes you just have to kick them when they're down, otherwise they'll stand back up.

"Twenty-nine, thirty."

Alita clenched the smoke canister so tight in her hand I saw the whites of her knuckles in the moonlight. I finished giving specific instructions to the Oblivion Babes and waited patiently in my hiding spot. Up to bat first was Ariel. While Alita tried to make up her mind where to start, afraid that one of the girls would be waiting around any corner she chose, Ariel slowly crept up behind her. She was doing great until that one creaky step on the ships deck gave her away. That didn't stop Ariel from frantically pulling the trigger or Alita from jumping out of the way. By the time Ariel had her next dead shot no water came out. Alita pulled the pin on the canister and took the opportunity to run off the deck into the halls of the ship while Ariel tried her hardest to re-pump the water gun.

In the dark hall Alita waited for her eyes to adjust under a doorframe. She didn't know it but she was only a few feet away from Lillu who had tiptoed around the entrance somewhere. This was the first time Lillu felt like she was part of my team and couldn't help but let out a sinister little giggle that echoed down the corridors of the decayed hall making Alita paranoid—- perfect! I decided to help lead the two closer together and took off behind Alita brushing past her.

"Catch me if you can, cunt."

She took the bait. She was fast but I was faster. Even at my jogging pace the girl fell behind. Lillu got the hint and waited crouched down next to a room by some steps, the barrel of her water gun stuck out around corner. Alita ran past and didn't see the steps. She tumbled and rolled as Lillu shot where Alita would have been if she didn't trip. Alita felt the mist from the water spray off the wall and rolled back onto her feet. Lillu was shocked that within seconds Alita had twisted the water gun out of her hand and continued after me. Alita popped off the canister and held the container of water as she chased me down. She dropped the gun just about when Zophiel stepped out in front of her. Alita flung out the water at Zophiel, forcing Zophiel out of her way as Alita continued after me. When Zophiel looked back, Alita was gone.

"I bet you'd run fast if I was Kial." I yelled back to Alita.

Her little legs pumped faster. I loved this because I had an advantage-- I knew the ship inside and out. As we both rounded the corner, to Alita's surprise, I had disappeared.

"You're not exactly playing fair," she said.

"When is life ever fair?" I replied back, my voice sounded as though I it came from all around her.

"Did you really have to put vinegar in the water?"

"Why? Afraid of smelling good for a change?"

All I had to do was stall long enough for Lilim, who was at the other end of the hall, to aim and take a shot. It would've been perfect if Ezra didn't fire at Lilim thinking she was Alita. Pissed off, Lilim fired back at Ezra. Alita saw the two and ducked around the corner.

"Looks like it's just down to you and me, my ugly friend." I said. "I'll give you a hint which room I'm in. All you have to do is add thirty-four, twenty-three and eleven together."

Alita cautiously walked down the hall looking for room sixty-eight. When she reached the room, she crept by the door. I was across the hall in room sixty-seven-- math was never my strong suit. I held in my laughter as she kicked open the door and the jug of water drenched down on top her.

"What the..."

"Better watch out. Sometimes the enemies have booby-traps."

Alita picked up the jug, turned around and came at me. I did my best to hold her back, but she still managed to splash me good. Drenched, we paused and looked at each other. Our eyes connected and for the first time, Alita and I laughed together. Later on, anyone within a ten-mile radius would've heard the screams of seven girls as the most epic water battle unleashed inside a beached warship.

***

All of us soaked in the smelly vinegar water walked back to town that night. The Oblivion Babes were up front talking about the water battle while Alita and I followed in the rear.

"Why hasn't anyone ever asked about me and my family?" Alita asked.

"That's because we could care less. Sorry, just one of the rules our group abides by. We don't ask and you don't tell."

"Yeah, who wants a large reward anyways.s"

"Wait... what?" I said as I stopped in my tracks.

"It's just some big stupid reward given to the person who returns me to my father. If you were nicer to me I would've split the profits with you. I guess I'll just have to have Jophie help me." Alita said as she continued walking.

Three, two, one.

"Tell me more." I asked as I ran up to her.

***

The next day Alita and I stood at the front door of her parent's house. The place was a mansion covered in vines with a yard bigger than a football field. One thing was for sure; Alita's parents weren't eating top ramen for lunch.

I knocked on the door and a maid answered. She was a bit surprised to see Alita handcuffed to me.

"Delivery." I said.

"One moment." the maid replied.

She closed the door and a minute later Alita's father, Kiro, opened it.

"Alita!" he shouted.

"Father!"

Alita ran up to Kiro, but like a dog on a leash, I pulled her back.

"Not so fast."

That got Kiro's attention. He gave me an unwelcoming look—- the kind of look he probably gave his servants.

"Please, come inside. Both of you."

"Don't have to ask me twice, Pops." I said.

"Yes..." he mumbled.

Inside was a real treat. Paintings older than your grandma, furniture older than your grandpa and so much money you could smell it through the walls.

Kiro opened the door to the south study, which was bigger than Kial's place. We sat down on chairs so old Adam and Eve probably whittled them themselves. I spotted an assortment of treats lying on the table and hadn't eaten lunch so I decided this was a good alternative. Kiro went straight to business-- I liked his style.

"30,000, not a penny more."

"First off," I said with a mouth full of cookies, "there's about five things wrong with that sentence."

I leaned forward letting the crumbs spill onto the imported Italian hardwood floor.

"Ransom specifically said 100,000 and that's not including money of my own I had to spend to recue this little girl."

"Money, what money?"

"Bullets, guns, grenades, hotel rooms, food, travel expenses-- any of this ringing a bell? Not to mention my bonus for returning a living, breathing body."

"Which is..."

"250,000. Non-refundable and non-negotiable."

"That's outrageous!"

"You're right. See ya."

I stood up and dusted off my crumbs onto Alita.

"Where are you going?"

"I hate wasting time. I'm sure I can get about the same over at some brothel."

"Now just a minute!"

"Times money Pops. If you want my minute you have to pay for it and the more you make me wait the more it costs. Price just went up to 300,000."

Rule number one, when dealing with people like me: Never let bounty hunters know how much cash you can afford. Otherwise you'll end up paying every penny of it.

"OK! FINE! Anything to get you to leave WITHOUT my daughter!" he said.

I looked over at Alita who smiled back at me. I was stunned the slut was useful for a change. We exchanged the cash for the handcuffs and I was promptly escorted off the premises. That night, after saying goodnight to her father, Alita opened the window and snuck out of the house leaving a ransom note. That part of the plan I knew about, however, she'd signed it with my name and I got a rude awakening at seven in the morning when twenty big ugly bounty hunters stormed my room.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes, my knife already out and ready to go.

"Don't you guys ever shower? I could smell you before I saw you."

I didn't even have time to pee before I was back at the mansion and let's just say there weren't any cookies this time—- I'd already asked.

When I tried to explain to Pop's that his darling little girl not only ran away but also took my money with her, he became very interested in hiring my services. I think the part about me being the only one able to track her down in less than a week helped.

That was until two weeks went by and still no Alita. I didn't know where she ran off to but wherever it was, it wasn't within arms length. Now Pop's had withdrawn his offer after I came back to his palace for the tenth time empty handed and trying to extend my deadline. If I ever run into that little troll again, I think I'll let my knife give her a nice hug.

Chapter Eleven: I Think I Can

Now that her father was off of her trail and Alita ran off with our loot, I had to actually try now to track her down. Rumor had it there was a young girl running a small con over in a city called Enyo so I bought me and Atticus a first class ticket on a train to go say hello. Thanks to Atticus, we arrived to the train station late only to overhear lowlife's giving some guy a hard time. They were loud, yelling at him to take his wad of cash and go home before a bullet made friends with his brain. All I heard was blah, blah, blah, money and then I knew exactly who my new best friend would be on this trip. The thugs pushed him onto the train and watched as the train departed.

That night I 'accidently' bumped into the guy's room and told him I had mistaken it for mine. We introduced ourselves and I found out the guys name was Daevin. While I stalled with a little small talk, I gave the room a once over and eyed his safe—- his unlocked and open safe. This led to that and before I knew it I was in the bar all night dishing out a fake laugh for every bad joke that came out of his mouth. I gradually became touchy feely but what Genius didn't know was I was frisking around for a key. When I made sure I'd searched his whole body and there was no sign of a key, I let out a yawn and asked if we could continue our riveting conversation another time, to which he naturally agreed.

The next morning I'd fallen asleep at the breakfast table and when I awoke my frosted strawberry milkshake had already melted and was dripping down the side of the glass. I looked over at Atticus who stared out the window at the desert scenery as it scrolled by. He was lost in thought again-- his plate empty.

"Thanks for waking me, dick." I said as I stretched out.

"You fell asleep in the middle of the meal. I figured you could probably use the extra rest."

"Who knew pretending to care what other people were saying could be so exhausting."

"A trait you're not accustomed to obviously."

"Don't worry slick, next time I'll fix YOU up in the sexy dress and let you seduce the target."

"Ok, but just to let you know, reds not my color. Also, you should probably stop calling him 'the target'. It's a dead give away we're aiming crosshairs."

"I don't call him 'the target' when I'm with him, you dope. What kinda amateur are you mistaking me for? Alita?"

And that's when yours truly popped into the dining car. He didn't look sleep deprived at all. In fact, the jerk had a bounce in his step and a smile on his face. I didn't like where this was headed.

"Hello again." Daevin said as he sat down next to me. "You sleep well?"

"So much my eyes wish they were still closed." I replied.

Daevin laughed. It wasn't his normal laugh-- more like a 'whatever the hot girl says is funny' type of laugh. The kind of laugh that if it were a actual person you'd wanna punch it in the face. My cheeks hurt from forcing a smile, something my face wasn't use to doing but at least he paid for our meal.

"So, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Daevin asked after he ordered breakfast.

"I'm her brother. Names Atticus."

They shook hands and smiled. Really? Brother was the best he could come up with.

"My names Daevin, nice to meet you. What brings the two of you out to Enyo?" Daevin asked.

Atticus looked over at me a bit panicked. We hadn't thought that far ahead. Good thing I had the talent of hemorrhaging triumphant lies out from my cranium. I opened my mouth but Atticus beat me to it.

"Business," Atticus stuttered out. "You?"

"Same. What do you do?"

"My brother here sales guns." I said over Atticus' blathering's.

"Really? Like a door to door kinda thing?"

"Yeah, kinda like that." Atticus said.

"Maybe if you're lucky, he'll cut you a deal." I said.

Daevin smiled and looked down.

"No thanks." he replied. "This one's all I need."

I grinned at Atticus who looked like he was about to lose his meal. He hated lying.

"See brother," I said with a slight kick under the table, "I told you it's a stupid job."

I leaned in close to Daevin.

"He's been at it a whole month and hasn't sold a single gun." I whispered.

"Poor guy." Daevin replied. "Don't worry there, I'm sure business will pick up when you're in town."

Atticus excused himself from the table and left me alone with yours truly again. The guy's breath smelled like eggs as he sat and ate his breakfast-- glad he sat so close, NOT.

After breakfast Daevin wouldn't leave me the hell alone. I was lucky to use the bathroom in peace. The more I hung around him the more I hated him and the more he loved me. Every word out of his mouth became a slap to my face. To top it off, he was getting friendly—- too friendly. Every time I caught his hand on my leg, I'd catch my hand in a tight fist ready to find out how many punches it'd take to get his hand off-- my guess, one. The only thing stopping me from putting him in a coma was that big wad of cash he had locked away inside his pocket.

Day spun to night before I saw Atticus again. Actually, to be more accurate, I tracked HIM down. He was at the bar and had racked up quite the tab on some imported hard liquor with gold specks that floated around inside a blue bottle. He was in the middle of explaining to the bartender his theory on why trains were useless when you compared consumption to momentum and the overall constraint of predetermined destinations.

"Brother, there you are!" I bellowed for the whole dining car to hear with Daevin glued around my waist. I walked up and gave him a big sisterly headlock—- extra hard.

"And you ordered my favorite booze for me! Thanks, you're the best!"

Muffled by my ever-tightening arm Atticus replied back, "Anything for you Sis."

"Daevin's been telling me all day about his interesting life as a miner."

"Funny, he doesn't look that young." Atticus replied.

"No stupid, the job not the age. He mines for precious stones like the kind floating around in your overpriced drink."

"Truth is," Daevin said, "the whole group of us struck it rich one day while clearing out a mountain. Once it was all said and done, we each got our own cut of the profit and I was put in charge to split up the loot evenly but the night before I was suppose to give everyone their share, the loot went missing and I was accused of the crime."

Atticus and I looked at each other. Something about his story seemed a little off.

"Well," I began, "even if you did steel it, congrats!"

The look on Daevin's face was priceless—- like I caught him red handed.

"I mean it's a dog eat dog world out there and if you hadn't stolen it first someone else would've." I added to help muffle the seriousness of the conversation.

Daevin scratched the back of his head with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah but it wasn't me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say." I waved off. "You're missing the point entirely."

"And that is?" Atticus asked.

I was a bit taken off guard. I wasn't aware I was surrounded by two morons.

"The point, my drunken friends, is that whether he stole the loot or not, the fact remains someone had to, so who cares if it's him or me or you for that matter?"

Daevin let out a smile and followed it up with a short laugh—- his REAL laugh and for a moment he looked almost believable.

"If that were so," he said, "you'd be the last person I'd expect to try to rip someone off. I'm a pretty good judge of character and I can't imagine you any more evil than a puppy."

I had to give it to Daevin, he was far more dimwitted then I was giving him credit for.

"I'll drink to that!" I said as I raised Atticus' cup.

"Hey, does anyone have the time?" Atticus asked.

Daevin looked at his watch and smiled.

"Yeah, it's just after midnight. It's getting kinda late, I probably best be headed off bed."

I finished Atticus's drink as I waited for Daevin to ask the question he'd wanted to ask for the past couple days.

"Care to join me?"

"Oh, me?" I asked.

I looked at Atticus who grinned at me and gave a slight wink.

"Sure, let's go." I said while still looking at Atticus. The game had started.

"Good luck girl," Atticus muttered to himself with a smile as Daevin and I left.

I didn't need luck. I was OBLIVION GIRL! What Daevin and I were after were two completely different things.

In his room, Daevin had a built in bathroom, which I excused myself to before the 'fun' began. As I walked in, I watched through the bathroom mirror as he stashed his money in the safe and left it open. I double checked the K.O. canister against my thigh and made sure it was ready to go.

I swung open the door and stood in a sexy pose. Daevin was already in bed. I walked up to him and crawled in with him. He turned out the lights and I pulled the covers over our heads. That's when I pulled the pin on the canister and sleeping beauty passed out. Smoke flooded out from under the blankets, which I pushed away wearing my gas mask. I made Atticus tuck it away under his mattress before going to the bar otherwise I would have been in trouble.

The room filled with smoke but I opened window and waited about thirty seconds for it to clear. I walked back over to Daevin and poked him a few times to make sure he was out cold.

Then I turned to the safe and snatched everything inside. To my surprise I found a nice full bag of rare stones along with the cash. I guess my thoughts about Daevin were completely off. He was a sneaky little prick. With my back to the bed, I stuffed the loot in my bra and walked over towards the door. I waited for one of the nightly security guards to pass by the hall before I slid open the door. I didn't need any boy scouts setting off alarms. I had timed it out before and found it took a good eighteen minutes for the security guard to walk from one end of the train to the other. Once he had walked to the next car, I closed the door and made my way down the hall-- gas mask dangling around my neck. That's when I heard it—- the click of his pistol. I didn't have to turn around to know Daevin was standing behind me. Only it wasn't the Daevin I had spent the last few days with, this was the real Daevin.

"I'm sorry but I can't just let you leave without a goodbye kiss." He said. Even his voice sounded different.

"Funny," I replied as I turned around. "You're supposed to be taking a nap. Do I need to put you in time out?"

"Word of advice. If you're going to put someone to sleep, make sure they weren't holding their breath."

I couldn't figure out if I hated this man or loved him. Either way the story ended with me richer tomorrow.

"You can also drop the knife behind your back." He added.

"So you weren't just feeling me up for your own perverted pleasures?"

"Sorry. Even men like myself need precautions."

"I agree one-hundred percent. That's why Atticus has you in his sights down the hall as we speak. Turn around if you don't believe me. I'll make him wave."

Two-Face took the bait. He turned around and waited to see Atticus wave but no one was there. When he turned back, I too was gone.

I had used the opportunity to leap out the side window and on top of the train. The cold wind whipped through me instantly. This was not an ideal place to be in a bra and panties. Daevin followed like some bad cliché from an old western movie. I led him down the train to the caboose.

"I don't want to shoot you!" he yelled.

"Good. I don't want to get shot!" I yelled back.

"Just give me the stones. You can keep the money. I could care less about it."

"I wish I could." I said as I tossed him the bag his stones were in. He opened the bag and saw the stones were switched out for rocks.

I didn't lie before when I said Atticus was down the hall with his rifle pointed at Daevins head. When I told Daevin that Atticus was down there, Atticus just about had a heart attack hoping that Daevin wouldn't just shoot randomly down the hall. Lucky for us, his happy trigger finger didn't get the best of him. When Daevin jumped out the window after me, Atticus snuck into Daevin's room and took the goods from the safe. The plan worked great—- except for this part where I'm freezing my ass off on top of a train with a gun pointed at me.

Whether the sleeping gas worked or not it didn't matter. Attached to the wheels of the caboose were three grenades tied to a fishing line that ran up and across the top of the roof. All Daevin had to do was trip the string to blow the wheels and disconnect our caboose from the rest of the train. Only one problem—- Daevin wasn't walking. He just stood there, gun pointed at me, blathering.

"Where's the bag, Essa!" he yelled.

"What?"

"GIVE ME THE BAG!"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. You'll have to come closer."

And there he came, one foot over the other. Inching closer and closer I felt my heart pounding. As he reached the string, his foot stepped over it followed by his other. He stopped directly after it—- plan B was a bust.

That's when I felt it. A hot sting in my right arm and the trailing smoke of his gun—- the idiot shot me! I glanced down as the warm blood dripped down my arm and flew off the side of the train—- that was going to cost him.

"You're a pretty awful shot." I said.

"Keep it. There's more where that came from."

As if I could give it back.

"Well in that case, I have a little something to give you."

I walked closer to him as he tightened his finger around the trigger—- my eyes locked on his. I got close enough to wrap my arm around him. The train rolled over a wooden bridge and I knew now was time. With my good arm I pulled his head close to my mouth and whispered in his ear, "Better hold on fucker."

And I kicked the string, which pulled the pins and ripped half of the wheels off of the caboose. The caboose dropped and scrapped along the tracks letting out a noise that'd make your ears bleed.

Funny thing about heavy train cars is that they don't handle well when their weight ratio shifts. After the caboose lost it's wheels, it tipped to one side and slowly began to roll over as we crossed the bridge. Daevin and I lost our balance and hung off the top of the car. All I could think was 'this is all your fault Atticus' as my one good arm kept me from swan diving down into the water. I looked over to Daevin who'd let go of his gun so he could hang on with both hands.

As the caboose lost speed, the tipping increased. With my bad arm there was no way to pull myself up. Within seconds Daevin towered over me waiting for me to fall.

"Give me the bag and I'll help you up."

I smiled-- the fool.

"How about you just come with me?"

I let go of the side and grabbed onto his ankle as the caboose tipped over the side of the bridge. Both of us plummeted to our watery grave with the caboose, spinning like a wheel one over the other.

Daevin tried to grab ahold of me but luckily I pushed away before hitting the water. As he reached out for me the caboose landed on top of him. That was something that could really ruin someone's day-- at least he didn't have to try to swim with one hand.

By the time I'd pulled myself up against the shore the caboose was in the bottom of the river with Daevin. Later that night, in the cold air, I waited for Atticus to come pick me up—- like usual he was late and I was freezing.

Chapter Twelve: Rock, Paper, Scissors

After the explosion, the train slammed on its breaks, but since it's a train and not a go-ped, it took a good mile for it to finally screech to a halt. By then everyone had their heads popping through the windows jabbering about yours truly.

Atticus got impatient and leapt off the train while it was still screeching to a halt, with sparks flying everywhere so much you'd think it was on fire. Fearing the worse, like he's good at, Atticus ran as fast as his legs could take him back to the bridge expecting to find my lifeless body strung about the ground being devoured by rabid dogs—- it'd take a lot more than a train to kill me.

When he reached me he ripped off his trench coat and wrapped it around me. After insisting I could walk myself, he carried my struggling body back to the train while I filled him in on how the event went down. When we got back to the train, Atticus told the conductors one of the cars must've malfunctioned and detached. As for how the caboose became burnt and submerged two hundred feet under water he replied, "Terrorists?"

With a bit of sweet-talking and some out of the pocket hush money, the train got back on its way before sunrise.

After our 'adventure' we found ourselves under a watchful eye not only by the security guards but also the passengers. Apparently if you want to be the talk of the town, sinking a train was a good start. Atticus and I stayed locked up in our bedroom counting the loot as whispers passed by our door. Silly me-- for some reason I thought people had better things to do than gossip.

We examined the stones and found out they were a type known as Jadeite; the rarest gems on earth and we had a bag full of them. I started to understand why Daevin's friends weren't too happy when these went missing. I decided to keep them on my person for safekeeping. Wouldn't want to repeat Daevin's mistake.

***

Before we knew it, we were in Enyo-- with enough money to buy Enyo a few hundred times over. We gave the conductors a generous tip with the wade of cash Daevin had been throwing around and went looking for Alita. My wounded arm was put in a temporary sling until we could visit a real hospital. I didn't mind-- I only needed one hand to choke the little witch.

Enyo was a lush town overgrowing with moss and overpopulated with good for nothing tourist. The frequent rainfall and rich soil gave this place a hot swampy stench and humid air. To top it off there were no ice cream vendor for hundred miles—- welcome to my hell.

The locals were anything but friendly to bounty hunters mostly because we usually never had any cash. They could smell us a mile away as if we stunk of expired gypsy perfume. We'd have to actually try if we wanted to find the little brat-— great, just freaking great. And that's when I spotted him walking around like some sort of cockroach that just wouldn't die; Daevin.

I ducked behind some tourist who probably thought I was either trying to molest them or steal their money—- why couldn't I do both? Splish splash went his shoes as he walked by. I'm all for reunions but when you try killing a guy by smashing a train on his head, those kinds of grudges usually hold pretty strong—- specially since it was less than two days ago.

I left Atticus by himself and caught up to Daevin at the outside marketplace. I followed close by as we zigzagged through the crowd together. He stopped periodically to get a closer look at some items but never bought anything—- probably cause I had all his money.

At his next stop I snuck up behind him with this great idea planned out on how I was gonna take him down but then he caught me off guard by saying, "How's it going Essa? Enjoying my money?" I was like a deer in headlights, frozen. I felt like everyone's eyes turn to me, even though no one was looking.

All I could mutter out was "How did you... but I was..."

My embarrassed face and blushing cheeks were enough to make him laugh, which was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth. He walked up close to me, close enough so only I could hear.

"You don't think I'd kill you with all these people watching, do you?"

"Funny," I replied, "I wasn't going to have any problem."

His face looked unamused.

"I know." he said.

He grabbed my injured arm and pressed his finger in the wound while saying, "Come now, let's go someplace we can mess around, eh sexy?"

And with those words we were off.

Daevin dragged me through town until we reached a secluded spot of his choosing—- the train yard.

"Really?" I said. "THIS is the place you want to have our fight? Aren't you worried I'll throw another train on your head?"

Daevin just smiled and took out his gun.

"Not exactly." he said.

That, apparently, was the magical cue for his angry group of mining friends to walk out of the train, all carrying weapons.

"I told you," he yelled to his buddies, "didn't I tell you I'd find the person who stolen the gemstones from us?"

"Yeah, you did good Dae." His boss replied.

Bastard had set me up. If his little buddies searched me, they'd find a big ol' bag of gemstones tucked away in my bra and wouldn't you know it, I'd be the one who looked like the jackass-- typical.

"I have to tell you Cowboy," I said to Daevin, "I hope you're wearing your Sunday best clothes, cause I'm gonna bury you in them."

As I slipped on the gas mask with my one good arm, his boys surrounded me.

"All we want are our gemstones back," Daevin said.

"Well I got hungry and ate them, so you're either gonna have to wait awhile or come gut me like a fish." I said as I gripped a canister in my hand.

Click, drop, fizzle; off went the smoke screen—- damn it men are stupid.

By the time the smoke cleared, all of Daevin's goon friends were on the floor bleeding into the dirt. The only thing left was the smoking gun in Daevin's hand filled with empty shells. He started to back away as I crept forward attempting to catch my breath.

"What are you? Some sorta devil? Why won't you just DIE!?!" he yelled as he threw his gun at me. Without flinching the gun flew inches past my head and landed in a cloud of dirt.

I lifted up my mask and looked the coward eye to eye.

"They call me Oblivion Girl and like you Cowboy, I got nine lives. The only difference is, I haven't used eight of mine."

And that's when I kicked him in the balls. I left my foot in his crotch as he fell to the floor—- I wanted to make sure I nailed them both. I leaned down close to his face.

"That's for trying to set me up."

I spit in his face then kicked dirt on it as he laid there moaning.

"Oh," I yelled back at him without turning around, "I'm keeping the gemstones. So if I ever see you again, I'll kill you. Just wanted to clear that up."

As I walked through the center of town, combing the streets for Atticus, I wondered if I should've left that piece of slime alive or if I should've started to carve into him; that's when I heard that screeching voice of Alita.

I scanned around and eventually saw Atticus next to her. Long story short, Alita had spent some of our ransom money on a fancy hotel room while she gambled the rest away in the hotels casino. Atticus tried prying her out from the hotel but hotel security stopped him immediately claiming they wouldn't let her go until she'd settled all her debts. Atticus, not taking no for a answer, continued to drag her out the front door leaving security no choice but to handcuffed her to the entrance—- yeah, like that'd stop us.

Gasping for air with bulging eyes, Alita managed to squeeze out, "Oh, Essa. So good to see you. I guess you haven't forgiven me," as I choked her with my one good arm.

"Keep talking," I said to her with a smile welded on my face, "I want to hear what your voice sounds like as your life slips away."

Before I knew it I had a tug-a-war going on with a group of five strong security guards using all their strength to reel Alita back—- unsuccessfully I might add. Alita's body was perfectly horizontal as her face turned red, purple then blue. 'Just like a rainbow', I thought to myself. I began to wonder if I kept it up, if Alita's head would pop off her shoulders like a cork out of a Champaign bottle. Due to lack of oxygen, Alita's body went limp as she passed out. With her not awake to witness my torture, I lost interest and let go of her. The group of men toppled over one another as Alita's body flew on top of them.

I walked up, sliced the chain with my knife and dragged her away as the security guards stood up and chased after me.

"Don't get too close fella's, she's underage." I yelled back at them.

***

On the train ride back Alita stared out the window, locked in her seat with a new set of handcuffs.

"But what if I have to pee?" she asked.

"Don't worry," I replied, "I wont stop you."

Chapter Thirteen: Glue Sniffer

After the train ride back into town, all I wanted to do was sleep. I descended towards my bed and landed on what can only be described as the world's softest pillows. It felt good to be home. Our money was back in my pocket and to top it off Atticus and I let Kial babysit Alita so we could have a well-deserved break.

Surprisingly, Kial managed to finish a project while we were gone. Above his office he took all the computers and connected them into a pair of old aviator goggles at his desk. Hundreds of tiny wires ran down the ceiling from some special computer mainframe he'd custom built. After he dragged us over to his place to see the end result, I had to admit I was anything but impressed. What did I care if a bunch of color-coded spaghetti wires that were super glued to some old wanna be pair of sunglasses? Once Kial turned on the glasses they glowed an eerie blue as a rush of information flooded into them. I swear the whole place got instantly ten degree's hotter. The hum of his computers above the ceiling sounded like a muffled jet engine about to take off, not to mention I'm ninety-nine percent sure he's got large doses of radiation from those goggles. He claimed the goggles helped take off the strain of looking at a computer monitor all day, but I knew he was just trying to impress Alita, whom he'd also given a pair of wireless aviator goggles to. Her pair was constantly fed terrain data from satellites so that wherever we were and whatever jam we were in, she could help guide us to a clear escape route-- yeah, let's rely on her to lead us to safety.

Alita loved the aviator goggles; I know because she couldn't stop talking about them-- all day long. Each verbose word out of her hideous mouth was like a stab in the face. Was there no filter between her brain and her mouth? And for some reason she was clueless to the fact that we could care less.

"Kial even gave us each our own little avatars for the GPS! They're soooo cute. Atticus, you HAVE to come check this out!" she exclaimed.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!" I screamed. I couldn't take it anymore. Atticus and Alita froze in their tracks.

"Oh yeah?" Alita said. "Why don't YOU shut up!?!"

She pulled off the goggles and whipped out her pistol at me—- you know, the one Atticus had stupidly given her as a present before we left. I looked at her with mild amusement.

"Go ahead, shoot me." I said as I walked closer to her. "You know me. You know what I'll do to you if you do."

Alita looked to Atticus for some sort of reassurance only to be denied and that's when I kicked Alita's gun out of her hand like a soccer ball and watched as it disappeared into the sun. Alita retracted her hand.

"Ouch! That hurt! You could've broken my fingers!"

"You're right, let's try again. Better yet, why don't you walk behind us for a bit-- like FAR behind."

***

Now it was true, I'd been known for getting us into a pinch now and again, so you can imagine how after a little misunderstanding and a lot of yelling on my end, Atticus and I were stuck behind a boulder pinned by some guy yelling something about how I owed him money for some job—- I don't know, blah, blah, blah. It's all the same to me. Just another lonely soul on death row.

So the guys yelling something about how I did him wrong while I loaded my gun I tried to remember if I ever met the guy. Since Alita had straggled far enough behind, she achieved the luxury of avoiding this little predicament and snuck behind the guy in attempt to take him down. However, also thanks to yours truly, Alita was forced to smack a rock against the guys' head rather than use her gun cause I had just happened to kick it out of her hand previously. He took a few good hits before the rock did its job all the while Alita screamed, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" at the poor sucker while tears ran down her snot-nosed face.

By the time Atticus and I could take the rock away from Alita, the guy had stopped twitching and was totally unconscious. I rolled him over on his back and gave his face a good hard stare. Nope, didn't personally know the guy but from the awful tattoo on his shoulder, rancid smell of jasmine and that slight smirk on his unconscious face I knew it had to be one of Jophies' goons. So, as a parting gift, we buried him neck high in sand and left him to deal with the vultures-- not before waking him up of course and threatening to have Atticus pee on his head for trying to kill us-- as if.

The thing about angry strangers is they always remember the gas mask and after our small job was complete, we decided to return to our newly acquired friend only to find his body missing and two additional holes dug around his hole. It didn't take a genius to figure out those holes were for us. But it did take a genius to turn around to see the five or six gypsy caravans parked behind the rocks.

Mr. Sunburn was red all right, but not from U.V. rays-- my guess is when a man cursed as much he did, the lack of oxygen helped influence the color of the face. Did I mention that each caravan could easy hold up to eight men? Not as if it mattered because when I'd get done with them they'll all fit in the three graves they, so thoughtfully, dug for themselves. One of the patrol men spotted us on his way back to his caravan and blew into a high pitched whistle.

I put my hand behind my back towards Atticus and Alita and held up three fingers. We were in the beginning stages of working on some coded hand signals. Only problem, I never learned them, so I just held up random numbers and improvised off whatever they decided to do.

Our trailer trash friends climbed out of their mobile garbage cans itching with vengeance. It only took four smoke canisters to cover the area leaving them in a cloud of unforeseen confusion. When the smoke cleared we were nowhere in sight. One man walked over to where he last saw us and scratched the back of his head. As he turned around to yell back to his playmates, my right hand popped out of the ground like a zombie. I grabbed a hold of his ankle giving Atticus, who was off in the distance, a clear and steady target.

Atticus held his breath, took the shot and the guy went down clasping his right shoulder while he oozed blood. My other hand popped out of the ground with a canister clenched inside it. The canister was all black with little yellow dots. I called it "Fireflies". I pulled the pin off and chucked it high into the air. The canister exploded and flaming pieces of ash rained down onto everything in a one hundred foot radius. The caravans caught on fire which freaked out the horses. They ran away along with some of the men still inside the caravans—- who'd blame them?

As the gents ran around like lit candles, I ungracefully dug myself out of my dirt tomb and proceeded to even out the numbers. Flaming men made it easier for Atticus to pick them off from long range with his rifle perched up on a bolder. Alita was off in her own world freaked out between what was happening in front of her and what she was seeing in the goggles. She ripped the goggles off her face and allowed them to hang around her neck as she picked up a handgun from a dead man and began opening fire like a straight up gangster. Not like she actually ended up hitting anyone, but it's the thought that counts-- or so I'm told.

As the last splat of blood fell to the ground, Jophie and Micah showed up and crashed my party, bringing reinforcements along with them. Atticus used the break to reload his rifle and I wiped the blood off my blade with some dead guys shirt.

Muffled through the closed door of his caravan, Jophie asked, "Causing trouble again, Essa?"

"Nothing more than usual." I replied.

He cracked open his door.

"I'm not here to fight."

"I wouldn't call what you do 'fighting' Jophie."

"Step inside for a second. There's something we need to discuss."

And without even waiting for me to deny him, out walked Micah. As soon as he saw me, Micah stared me down like some sort of creepy perv.

"What do you want, Scarface?" I asked.

He shot me a look that ran a chill down my back but I played it off. I signaled for Atticus and Alita to come back me up. I waited sas they took their sweet time strolling up.

"Keep an extra eye out for me. Apparently my secretary scheduled me in for a board meeting. And here I am without my pie charts."

Atticus nodded and sat outside across from Micah.

I took my last long breath of fresh air and walked in. Even though I'd seen his caravan from the outside a hundred times too many, I'd never actually stepped inside before and I wish I never had cause it was UGLY. Avocado greens and puke yellows lined the walls. Red curtains draped down to Astroturf feeling brown carpet. The stench of stale air mingled with garbage-- I would've gave anything to trade my gas mask in for an oxygen mask right about now. Jophie sat down across from me in an armchair. Sitting beside him was some suit with a briefcase that probably cost more than my yearly salary. Behind them both hung some wet laundry.

"You have about thirty seconds to say your peace Jophie before the smell in here makes me puke all over your caravan."

"It's going to take us longer than that to explain your brother's still alive." He replied.

There were a few things wrong this situation already. First was, in all my years alive, I never told anyone that I had a brother. Second, Jophie looked more on edge than usual and third, for the life of me, I couldn't understand why no one hadn't cracked a window!

***

By the time I walked out of his caravan Atticus and Alita were sitting in front of a fire with Micah and a few goons. They heard the door open and stood up.

"What's going on?" Alita asked as I jetted past her.

"We need to go." I replied as I started gathering our things.

I paused feeling their eyes piercing through me. I turned around and locked eyes with Atticus.

"It's my brother. He's alive. That is, until I get my hands on him."

"BROTHER!?!?" they both screamed back at me.

Chapter Fourteen: Oh Brother

Let me get one thing straight; my older brother Eden was an evil little shit. I'd go as far as saying he'd make Hitler look like the Pope if it wasn't for his slight, minuscule lisp. Even when he'd rip the heads off grasshoppers and watch their torsos hop along the ground, no one could take him seriously as he explained with a Daffy Duck accent.

Growing up as his younger sister was torture all on its own. The only nice memory I can recall was when my drunken father tried to take a swing at me and ended up hitting Eden instead. My brother was gifted when it came to inflicting pain and in the household not even our own parents were safe. I remembered watching my brother pound our fathers face til my mother complained how the hell she'd get the bloodstains out of the carpet. Even though at times he'd freak me out, I still loved my brother Eden.

We grew apart as we grew older. Eden spent most of his time outside torturing god knows who—- my guess were girls. My parents loved it. Let someone else feed him for a change is what they'd say between arguments. When he was home I remembered my mother caught him with a wad of cash in his pants pocket, which she'd stolen with her slimy coke covered fingers. Funny thing was Eden didn't get the money from selling drugs or pimping prostitutes; he got the money from Dad's alcohol stash hidden under the sink in a glass jar-- chip off the old block, right?

The day our city crumbled to ruins Eden was taking a shower—- something he rarely did, at least at our place. He was enjoying a quick forty-five minute rinse when the apartment began to shake like a midget having a seizure. It didn't take him long to lose footing and eat a face full of dirty clogged up shower water. While stuff was falling off the counter Eden regained his balance and gripped the tub while the building floor disintegrated beneath him. Eden, like the cowboy he was, rode the bathtub butt ass naked all the way down to the ruins waiting below. Those ten seconds must of felt like ten hours as he crashed floor through floor, privates waving in the wind like the flag on the Fourth of July-- a sight I was glad to have missed. Tumbling aimlessly in the air, he hit the ground hard with the bathtub landing on top of him and just in time before loads of dirt and debris crashed on top of him. While under that bathtub, buried alive for two days, something in Eden changed for the worse—- as if that was possible. Maybe it was his mild case of claustrophobia or the fact that he had no food and water but whatever it was altered his state of mind like a hippie on a bad acid trip.

At the end of his second day of entrapment, faint voices broke through the rubble and it didn't take long for military personnel to uncover my brother in his birthday suit covered in dried mud and smelling like a cow farm. That day Eden shielded his sensitive eyes from the setting sun as he crawled out of the wreckage. While medics ran to his aid they claimed he was the only survivor and with that, a sinister smile stuck to Eden's face for he now knew exactly what to do with the rest of his miserable life.

***

It took little to no effort for Eden to be accepted into the military academy and even less effort for him to rise to the top of his class. Our family had a long rich history when it came to competition-- we get first place no matter what. Eden had dedicated his life to the military, studying it relentlessly. Shaking hands with the best and brightest while learning from the worst. After only two short years Eden had been in over ninety-seven battles, winning all of them with zero causalities. After his hundredth battle, Eden returned home with a limp as he had been wounded in the leg rescuing a member of his platoon from five enemy soldiers. For his outstanding bravery and impressive track record, Eden was awarded the highest rank the military had to offer. This stunt was pulled because recruitment ratings were low and the military needed a poster boy to help inspire new blood.

He was not only the youngest to achieve the highest rank but also the only person to never accept it. The day he was to be awarded the new rank, Eden vanished off the face of the earth along with nine other soldiers all of whom were specially selected by Eden himself from different branches of the military. At first the Military thought it was some sort of bizarre kidnapping but after Intel came back with photos of my brother in various parts of the world and promoting himself as still working for the government, well, lets just say uncle Sam wasn't too happy.

Outraged at the fact the one of their best and brightest had gone AWOL they put out a warrant for Eden's capture. They were going to make an example out of the ungrateful bastard, only problem was no one could find his sorry ass-- if it were me, I'd check under every overturned bathtub I could find.

Even though Eden was playing hide and go fuck yourself with his NRA buddies it didn't take long before the Military began to feel the sting from Eden's venomous bite. News spread of a Special Forces team that got flanked by Eden and his men. Out of the fifteen men in the Special Forces group, only one man came back alive. After relaying the story to his superiors, the man went home and committed suicide.

Soon after classified secret documents were leaked to the public and the top heads of every branch of the military were slowly being slaughtered one by one. Didn't matter where they hid. A house, office or bunker hundreds of feet under the ground, Eden got them.

Soon rewards started popping up, big ones. Enough money to make the average man crap his pants, quit his day job and begin his life as some two bit wannabe bounty hunter. Even though everyone and their mom started a amateur hour bounty hunting service it ended up accomplishing nothing except accelerating my reputation for being the best—- thanks suckers.

Then things just kind of got quiet. Rumors started that one of the bounty hunters had killed Eden, but everyone was baffled when the reward money was claimed but no body was turned in. New bounties kept getting posted in its place and I soon figured out Eden was collecting the money for himself.

You had to hand it to the guy, he was now the puppet master and the Military had no one to blame but themselves for creating such an unstoppable monster.

As time lagged on, people's interest veered and Eden was slowly forgotten about. The paper salesmen turned in his bounty hunting equipment and went begging back for his job, Military officials had new wars to start and everyone was back to normal until that night with Jophie.

***

I sat there speechless smelling the stench of rotting garbage as two idiots tell me a fairytale story about how my long lost brother, who should've died in a catastrophic event, killed hundreds of thousands of people and was now a living and breathing pain in my butt.

I sat there patiently as Jophie's mouth went off on other details about my brother but all my mind could think about was who the fuck the man in the suit sitting next to him was. Mr. No Name had a briefcase full of stalker pictures, all of which were blurry images of what I assume was suppose to be my brother dating all the way back to a few months ago. After Jophie was done talking, I held for dramatic effect, looked him in his ugly Gypsy eyes and muttered, "So what?"

"They want to personally and privately hire you to track and take down your brother." Jophie replied.

"Bullshit. Why don't they want you to do it? You're a better lap dog than I am."

"Cause," Jophie said, "I told them you'd be the best person for the job."

That motherfucker actually said it. I knew he was setting me up for something I just didn't know what exactly that was yet so I played his little game.

"Well of course I am, Gypsy boy!"

I'd found out in my short time on this earth that there are a lot of unwritten rules and games people play with each other. These guys knew the game, just not the rules so I raised the stakes and bet all on black.

"I want half the cash upfront and in our bank account within an hour. If it's there, you got yourself a deal, if not, I don't ever want to see HIS face again." I demanded as I pointed fiercely at Mr. No Name.

Jophie looked at Mr. No Name who nodded in acceptance to my demand.

"Also, here are a few contingencies that will break our contract if you even THINK of attempting to do any of them.

Number one: You try to follow me, I'll quit and will more than likely hunt you down myself and kill you.

Number two: You try attaching someone from your team to our team, I'll quit and kill them.

Number three: You so much as try to suggest how I do my job you will not only pay me three times what you're offering me now, but I also get to personally shove a firecracker up your ass."

With his mouth as wide open, Jophie turned his head over to Mr. No Name.

"Are we clear?" I asked.

Mr. No Name pondered for a bit then shook his head in agreement.

"Good." I said. "Then let your top brass know that my team and I will be clocking in once that money's confirmed."

I stood up and walked towards the door.

"Don't you want to keep the details on your brother?" Mr. No Name asked as he held out his briefcase.

"No." I replied. "Any of that garbage you have stinking up your briefcase is useless. My brother's smart. He'd never be close to any of the locations you think he's in. That's why he's still alive forcing you to ask for my assistance."

I clenched my hand on the doorknob and turned to Jophie who had a classic 'that's Essa' look on his face.

"Oh, and Jophie."

"Yeah?"

"Your place fucking stinks like shit. Open a god damn window."

And with that I was gone.

After I left, Mr. No Name jumped in his helicopter and took off back to his cave or wherever the hell he came from. He took out his walkie talkie and said, "Operation 'Checkmate' is a go."

"Excellent. We'll inform Eden his sister's on her way."

Chapter Fifteen: Yellow Brick Road

By the time we got back home, Kial was sitting on the curb outside our door with a bag of groceries. To be honest, I'd never seen him outside in the sun before. The sunlight hitting his pale skin made him look like some kind of albino midget.

"What do you want Twilight?" I murmured as I walked past his petite ghostly body towards the door.

"I received a large transfer of funds in our account and heard it's because you took a job to track down your brother, so I thought we'd celebrate." Kial said.

"Heard about it huh?" I said turning to Alita. "Do those goggles charge you monthly for phone service?"

Alita ignored the comment and ran up to Kial and gave him a big ol' kiss on the lips—- it was like watching two fish try to suck each other's faces off. Frozen in horror I watched to see who would succeed.

"I wouldn't call it good news. I mean, think of what will happen to my already outstanding reputation! Oblivion Girl- almost kills everyone in cities. Pathetic!" I said.

"Funny, I would've thought you'd be more excited about this." Kial replied.

"I didn't." Alita butted in. "Since when does Essa get excited about anything that she can't put in her mouth?"

"I'm sorry," I said as my targeting system locked onto Alita, "is that some sort of passive aggressive sex joke or did you just call me fat?!?!" Alita pondered while Kial let out a small chuckle. I walked up to Alita and pressed my back against her chest. Seductively looking up at her stupid face I said, "Or are you just mad that you'll have to leave Kial, your handsome Prince for such a long time?" I rubbed my hand across her chubby face as her cheeks blushed.

She pushed me off and I feel to floor.

"Kinky." I growled.

***

Later that night Atticus and Kial cooked dinner. I was held hostage in my room cleaning guns with Alita. The smell of fresh pasta, bread and tomato sauce rushed through my body and down into my empty stomach. The boys sat at the table with a bottle of Chateau-Chalon sifting around their glasses and looked as though they were up to no good. Alita and I exited my room and Alita sat down while Atticus poured her a glass of wine.

"Look at you, giving alcohol to minors." I said as I sat down and eagerly extended out my glass. Atticus poured some in my glass and replied with, "You're a minor too ya know."

"Yeah, but I'm also a girl"

"And what do you think I am!?!?" Alita asked.

"I've never really figured it out. I always assumed some sort of ugly boy."

"I'M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU," Alita screamed, "HOW CAN YOU MISTAKE ME FOR A BOY!?!"

"Well gentlemen," Atticus interrupted, "Time to eat."

That night the four of us feasted on a meal fit for royalty—- minus the court jesters unless you counted Alita. And yes, there was even strawberry ice cream for dessert-- A+ Kial.

As the night grew old, Alita became incapacitated from her booze and so she wished us well and went stumbling down the hall back into MY bedroom. Even though I had offered to temporarily share it with her, it didn't give her the right to make my carpet smell like a bachelor party. Oh well, what did I care if she vomited all over my floor, it's not like I was going to be the one to clean it up later. My eyes looked towards Atticus who looked over at me and let out a small slightly paranoid expression. I couldn't tell if he was smiling or grinding his teeth.

Once Kial knew Alita made to into bed, he went into business.

"I looked into Eden." Kial said.

"Thing about people who don't want to be found is, well, exactly that. So digging up dirt meant making waves and I'm sorry to say that this is the best I could do before I made my presence known. Scratching around the internet I found a picture of him with two words carved into stone, 'Locus Amoenus' which in Latin translates to 'Pleasant Place' but as far as where or what it pertains to exactly I have no idea. Part of me feels it's anything but a dead end."

Pleasant Place? How specific. Sounds just like some ambiguous shit my brother would toss out for the world to over think.

"What makes you think it's not a dead end?" Atticus asked Kial.

"When I looked more into it, I found that 'Pleasant Place' sometimes refers to the Garden of Eden which has to be the biggest coincidence I've ever seen or the lamest trap."

"So we're looking for a place that has a garden huh?" I asked.

"Not just any garden, one that Eden would consider to be his own."

I let out a scoff and mumbled, "I think I know where he is."

"You do?" Atticus asked.

I looked Atticus in the eyes and hesitantly replied, "Garden Grave."

His face went white. Just saying those words upset my stomach.

"Never heard of it," Kial said.

"It's nothing you'd know about unless you were looking for it and to be blunt, it was a place we'd both rather not return to."

"Why?"

"Garden Grave's a place where government officials used to take captors during war time to slaughter them. The ground is so drenched in blood that even centuries later, the dirt is still stained red."

"Sounds lovely." Kial added.

"To help deal with the psychological guilt of killing innocent people, the soldiers made a rule that they'd plant a flower for every grownup who was killed and a tree for every child.

Within three months, over 270,000 flowers were planted and over 150,000 trees. After those three months, the government's agenda switched gears and the Garden Grave operation was abandoned. The plants and trees were suppose to help cover the massive graves around the area but there aren't enough plants in the world to cover what they done, or how they did it. Once the operation was canned, all documents of its plan were burned. No one except for top brass know what Garden Graves true agenda was for and now, with them killed by the hands of my brother, Eden's the only one left with that information."

"So how do you know about it?" Kial asked.

"Because," I replied, "our father was one of the soldiers."

For Eden's sake, this little game of his had better be a well armed trap cause I'm not going through all this shit just to turn up empty handed. When I find his cockroach little body slithering around the ground I'm going to personally make sure to squish him dead, twice if I had to-- and I'm not leaving any flower.

I chugged the rest of wine straight out of the bottle, bid my fellow night crawlers ado and went to bed. With my breath smelling of fermented grapes I slipped into a dream.

Chapter Sixteen: Scratch and Sniff

The next morning, outside fog lingered low on the ground and gave the city streets an eerie feel much like an old Sherlock Homes novel. Once our bags were packed, Atticus and I gave Kial a goodbye hug then left the two lovebirds alone to say their goodbyes. After the two played CPR, we were off.

With no sense of direction, I popped my finger out of my mouth and raised it towards the heavens. I waited for the cool breeze to blow past before announcing the direction we'd be headed even though the wind was stilted.

Before long we had a few uninvited guests. The low fog thickened as we made our way down the road towards the harbor. Few people dumb enough to be up so early zigzagged around us and since we couldn't see anyone until they were two feet in front of us, it made spotting our uninvited guests nearly impossible. As we grew closer to the port, the wind kicked up and pushed the stilted fog away but there was no end to the clouded sky in sight. That's when I smelled a perfume as strong as paint thinner-- Gypsy perfume. The fragrance was so overwhelming; you'd think they'd pour it on a gallon at a time. I imagined them stirring a batch in their bathtub like the way hicks make moonshine.

Like I'd allow these idiots to let me do all the work so they could reap the glory. I came up with a brilliant plan on the spot, as I always do. I didn't want the Gypsy beasts to listen in so Atticus whispered the plan in Alita's ear. She stopped and looked around as if waiting for a ray of light to beam through the fog and point out exactly where Jophie and his band of moronic men where hiding. Glad she's discreet.

Atticus and I hooked a hard right and headed out towards the Miss Misery while Alita hooked a left and slipped on her goggles. We picked up speed as we went from a walk, to a jog, to a run. The last thing I wanted to do was make this easy on Jophie; if he hadn't already figured out we were onto him.

As the ground shifted from pavement to sand, the fog slowly departed and allowed the hot sun to pound against my unshielded skin. I wanted to get this over with quickly-- I had better things to do than play cops and robbers with Gypsy scum.

Once we reached the Miss Misery, Atticus and I went off to lay booby-traps in the ship. Inside we slowly cooked like a couple of potatoes waiting for Jophie and his men to make their next move.

Alita had set up a few miles away in a canyon and as a parting gift; Kial had given us walkie-talkies. I turned mine on and heard Alita in the middle of her conversation with Atticus.

"\- And according to the GPS readings, there's a group of about thirty or so men headed your way right now. They should reach you in a half hour."

"Perfect," I radioed back to her. "We'll be ready."

***

Lying near the entrance to the ship I heard the sound of the dumb homosapiens clattering about. They wouldn't shut up either. By the sound of it, there were somewhere around thirty of them.

At the entrance of the ship, Atticus squished his body inside a drainage vent. Inches above him stood the group of men as they walked inside. Jophie had never been out here before me and I wanted to make sure he'd never forget this place.

"They're here." Atticus whispered softly in his radio.

"Copy that." Alita answered back.

I couldn't help but smile. I was so excited I had to bite my bottom lip to keep myself from letting a sinister laugh echo throughout the ship. Oh what the hell? After all they only live once.

"Muhahahahahaha!"

By the time my laugh echoed down to Atticus, it sounded like a ghost moaning. He heard one of Jophie's men say, "What the hell was that?"

"Worry not men!" Jophie exclaimed. "Let me be your lit candle lighting the way to undeniable victory!"

The men cheered and followed like sheep being lead off the end of a cliff.

"They're sticking in a group." Atticus walkied over.

"That's fine." I replied. "Group or otherwise, we'll stick to the plan."

"Copy." Alita and Atticus replied.

And... action.

I sprinted down the halls of the ship while Atticus tried desperately to climb out of the drainage vent. As he emerged from his birthing canal, he found himself covered head to toe in a bunch of gunk that probably gives a person cancer just by looking at it, let alone touching it. After wrestling out a padlock from his pocket, he stripped off his coat that smelled like a sewer and threw it off to the side.

"Another coat butchered," he mumbled to himself at he clicked the padlock shut through the outside ship's door. He then hightailed it away to get ready for his next role.

Meanwhile back on the front lines, I was having a bit of my own fun. Following behind their group, I jumped from room to room and picked off stragglers. Before they knew what hit them they'd knocked out and get tied up inside a room.

One of the men I grabbed just happened to be a midget. Could you believe that? A MIDGET gypsy! As I pulled him into the dark room I giggled into his ear and said, "Well aren't you something. I'm going to have some fun with you," and knocked him unconscious.

I continued to slowly decrease their numbers with the help of Alita navigating me to my next victim. Her goggles made it easy for her to eat a sandwich while keeping me clear of hostile areas. Didn't take long before Jophie noticed. He ordered his men to disband back outside the ship, which they soon found out was locked from the outside. A few of the men tried to climb out a glassless window only to succumb to heavy sniper fire.

Atticus had posted up on a sand dune near Alita. He watched with one eye as the Gypsies tried desperately to climb back through the window into the ship. With one hand he sent warning shots while with his other he stuffed Alita's sandwich into his face. This left me doing the hard work-- typical. With my comrades out of my way, I was free to jump around the ship like an acrobat, spinning and twirling my blade.

With just over half of his men left, Jophie ordered them to regroup and band back together. This was where stage three of my plan was supposed to begin; I just... didn't quite know what it was yet.

"Find her!" Jophie ordered to his men, "Just don't harm her."

Thus began the cat and mouse hunt and let's just say I made a better cat than mouse.

I ran into what use to be the mess hall of the ship. Cleared of table and chairs it resembled more of a dancehall than a mess hall. I closed all the doors and immediately filled the room with smoke. I placed the last canister down and heard footsteps followed closely by muffled whispers.

Jophie entered first into the fogged room. He crotched low and pushed the smoke around with his hands in a failed attempt to thin it out. His men followed close behind in a horizontal line and swept the room.

"Essa," Jophie called out, "I know you're in here."

What? Was it the smoke that gave me away?

"We aren't here to hurt you. We were requested to ensure your victory over Eden."

"I already told you I don't need your help, Gypsy boy, and the government can suck my balls." My voice echoed throughout the room.

"Come now Essa," Jophie said still searching around, "even after all the times I saved you and your friends?"

"Unwanted and unneeded."

"What about for a old friends sake?"

"Sure."

"Great-"

"-Find me a old friend and I'll cut them a break."

I knew what the jerk was doing. He was buying time looking for me. He took a few more steps closer into the middle of the room and spotted me crouched behind a pillar with my back turned to him. He smiled as he approached.

"Games up sweetie," he said as he spun around his midget gypsy friend dressed like a tranny in my clothes. TNT was stuffed down his bra and the midget looked like he was about to pass out from stress.

I went all out and even gave the midget man pretty makeup which he had mostly cried off. With his hands, feet and mouth bound he muffled out a cry of help saying something along the lines of "Stop staring and help ME!"

In a frozen state of shock, Jophie responded with, "What the...?" and that's when I pushed the button. TNT, which I had lined around the parameter of the room, exploded and collapsed the floor forcing the gypsy men to fall down into the engine room. Midget man's TNT was fake two by fours painted to look like the real thing-- as if I'd ever blow up a midget.

My smile faded as the dust cleared and Jophie was still in the room dangling off a windowsill. A thirty-foot fall lay in store for him but he just wouldn't let go. I lowered myself down from the ceiling with the pulley system I rigged. Like a jewel thief breaking into a museum, I hovered over the crater.

"Well isn't this just one big ass metaphor." I yelled over to Jophie who resituated his grip on the windowsill.

"What do you want, gypsy jerk?"

"You," Jophie yelled back while catching his sliding grip, "you need my help."

By this time the rope I was attached to had spun me around and I was now staring at the opposite wall.

"I'm not really getting that sense of need from where I am."

"Tell you what," Jophie replied, "I'll call off my crew if you call off yours and we'll do this one together. Who knows, we'd probably do a lot better together anyways. What do you say?"

"Wow, you really think so?" I answered with a sly voice accompanied by a pair of pouty lips. I began to swing back and forth from the rope. Taken a bit off guard, Jophie slapped on his famous fake smile-- I swear his teeth were so bright they were emitting radiation.

"Well yeah. Think about it sweet cheeks," he blathered, "with my skill and your brains, we'd be unstoppable."

That's weird; I could've sworn I was the one with the skill AND the brains.

"Don't be so modest, Jophie. I'd be hanging on by a thread without you to guide me."

We both laughed, he just didn't know it was for two separate reasons.

"Tell you what," I said, "let's shake on it?"

He nodded as my body swung closer to his. I grabbed his greasy hand and in the middle of lifting him over the hole I said, "Naw, changed my mind," and let go. His smiled shifted to a frown as he looked up and realized I no longer held on.

He floated down to the gapping cataclysm of a grave and in the darkness I heard his body hit the floor-- my bet was he landed on the midget.

Chapter Seventeen: Bloodhound Pete

We cleared the desert over in the next few days and reached the mountainous peaks of Rozet. They were ridged and rocky with very little vegetation. Atticus led the way and as we climbed. I paused in uneasiness for this part of the mountain looked familiar and I knew something waited further up for us.

As the elevation grew, our pace slowed. Thick redwood tree's begun to sprout all around us the higher we climbed. Soon, the cold chill of the wind was accompanied by snow as thick from your foot to your knee. We wrapped ourselves in heavy coats and continued until the silver clouds swallowed the sun.

We reached a clearing in the trees and that's when the sounds of the forest grew quiet-- too quiet. I halted our journey and slid out my knife as Alita asked why we had stopped. I raised my finger to my lips to hush her as I took a few steps away from the group. With my peripherals I scanned the horizon. Nothing moved an inch except gentle snowflakes, which rained down from the sky. Without warning a gunshot echoed off the canyon walls and a bullet ripped through the first layer of my coat.

Taken off guard, Atticus grabbed Alita and hit the floor. By the time I had peeled off my jacket, a second bullet whizzed by me and landed in the snow at my feet. Sliding on my gas mask, I disappeared into the forest as a third bullet shattered part of a tree trunk and left a hole the size of an orange.

I sprinted through the tree line and could smell the faint aroma of firewood and baked beans-- I couldn't believe the fucker was still alive after all these years. He had two feet in the grave even when I first met him. I blew past bear traps and trip lines, dodging them with ease until I reached Themis; the snow covered marble statue of Lady Justice holding a sword with both hands. A blindfold covered her eyes and an evil smirk was pasted on the side of her mouth. To me, that statue was the face of Karma and we all knew what I thought about her.

Standing opposite from me on the other side of the statue was an old man with a rifle gripped tightly in his pale wrinkly hands. A worn out cowboy hat shaded his eyes from the snow. A black scarf wrapped around his face and his three foot long white beard blew in the wind kept his face hidden.

I noticed the snow cling to his clothes as the wind whipped at him. He ripped off his scarf and let it dance to the ground with the wind. Without taking his eyes off me he spit out some of the tobacco he'd collected in his mouth. I broke eye contact with the old man as I watched the spit fly through the air and sink into the snow. I let out an uncontrollable, "Gross." We stood there like an animals about to be hunted. I dug my feet into the snow for traction.

"I don't have any beef with you old timer," I called out to the old man.

He didn't speak, but then again, he didn't have to. His empty eye's told me everything. He didn't shoot on accident. I slowly raised my knife, gripped the worn handle tight and waited for him to make the first move. My adrenaline pumped so hard the veins in my arms were showing.

With a calm face and lighting reflexes, he raised his rifle up to aim and that's when I charged him. Without wasting any time he let out a shot, which, I shielded with my knife. By the time I was within arms reach of him; he had fired twice more, both bullets dodged gracefully by yours truly-- even if one of them ended up grazing me.

My blade sliced through the air at his face cutting a snowflake in half. He gently kicked out his right leg, which forced his upper body to lean back, allowing my knife to miss his nose by millimeters. As my arm finished swinging around he used the same leg to try to kick my knife out of my hand. I grabbed onto his foot with my free hand, spun my knife and tried to drag his chest into my knife. While I pulled him closer, he spun around with his back towards me and bowed as my knife missed him again-- it was like trying to fight a ballerina dancer made of spaghetti.

His free hand grabbed my wrist with the knife and he threw me over his back. I flew through the air and landed ten feet in front of him on my feet-- barely.

I turned around and began to run back at him as he reloaded. I used the time to slip my mask back on and flick out a Second Sun canister. He raised his rifle back up to his eye and while he had my face in the crosshairs, I cracked open that Second Sun right in his line of sight. He fired off a shot and shielded his eyes from the intense light. I dropped the canister in the snow and lifted up my mask for a better view. While he had temporary blindness, I turned my knife around I smacked him with the handle clear in the jaw allowing ALL the tobacco in his mouth to be spattered all over MY lovely face. He fell into the snow cross-eyed and I let out a scream so terrifying you'd think he'd shot off my boob.

Drenched in black saliva with chewed up bits of tobacco stuck to my face, I fainted from disgust and landed on his furry beard as Atticus and Alita rushed up to my aid.

***

I quickly rose up on a couch and almost had to lay back down when I saw Mr. Tobacco sipping coffee at his kitchen table.

"You... fuck," was all I could yell at the horrible prick.

"No thanks Teen Tits, I haven't even finished my morn' coffee yet." The old man replied.

"Morning coffee? It's like six in the afternoon! Are you sure you don't need a new pinch of tobacco to help spice it up? That's if you can find any. Pretty sure you spit most of it all over my face."

I looked over and saw Alita sitting next to me with a cup of tea warming her hands.

"Uh," she began, "mind telling us who this guy is?"

"He's just an old fart with two feet in the grave, AREN'T YOU GRAMPS!" I yelled. "But don't get too close Alita. He might bite you with his only tooth!"

"Ok. Uh, what's your name sir?" she asked.

"They call me Pete," the old man said as he tipped his hat. "Bloodhound Pete. I'm a tracker. Best money can buy too."

He smiled revealing his teeth-- I miscounted, he had twice as many as I'd thought.

I heard a toilet flush as Atticus walked in the living room wiping his hands on his coat. He paused and realized all three of us were staring at him.

"What? I washed!"

***

The night air cut through the cabin like a knife and I sat cozy on the couch as Pete walked over and threw a log on the fire. The wood crackled and hissed as golden flakes of fire danced up the chimney.

"So, that's how you two know each other? You were her teacher?" Atticus asked as he sat across from me in a couch chair. I felt Pete's eyes wander over to me.

"Yep."

Pete smiled as he lit up a homemade cigar, leaned back in his chair and said, "When we first met, I thought she was a young boy. You know, the way she acts and everything." That's when a pillow flew across the room and hit him square in the face.

"If you're not gonna tell it right, don't tell it at all!" I shouted while standing up on the couch in a fit of anger.

"Like I said," he went on, "she had some real testosterone built up. I found her wandering around the streets with guns glued to her hands like she was expecting the zombie apocalypse. With a body as thin as cardboard she looked one step away from death, so I took her here to my cabin and trained her to become a tracker like myself. She didn't want that, oh no. She wanted to be a ruthless killer and use the knowledge I taught her to be a bounty hunter."

I could hear Atticus's jaw hit the ground.

"I'm sorry, did you just say that Essa had TRAINING!?!?"

"Well yeah," Pete said. "How do you think she learned all those moves? God damn video games!?!?"

He let a laugh escape him loud enough to frighten the Gods.

"At first, she wasn't so keen on the idea either. She thought she'd be a kung fu master or something. But I taught her more than that. I taught her to calm her mind, to use brain over brawn and most of all, how to wield that knife she always carries around with her." He turned his attention over to me.

"To be honest Elyssa, I didn't think that knife would last as long as it has."

"ELYSSA!?!?!" Atticus and Alita yelled together as they burst into laughter. Pete turned to me with confusion.

"What's their problem?" he asked.

"They've only known me as Essa, Pete. But since you're doing a great job destroying my image, please continue. Why don't you tell them about all the embarrassing things I did during training."

Pete paused for a moment and gave the situation some hard thought, then said, "Ok." And went on for hours and hours. Even though I'd forgotten most of those stories, I know Pete cherished them as if they were about his own children.

In the world you have to sacrifice things that you want for things you need and for Pete, marriage was just a want. So naturally, when he found me tossed in the gutter awaiting death, he thought to himself this would be a good time to play Dad for a while. I'm not going to lie; I ended up loving that old son of a bitch. But the last time I saw him we had a fight and I didn't think I'd ever see this place again, let alone Pete. It was nice to be back, even if only for a bit. Hell, we couldn't play pretend forever.

Chapter Eighteen: Faux Friend

That night, I slept in the spare bedroom like I did so many years ago while Atticus and Alita slept in the living room. I raised the blankets up to my nose and a slight smile grew on my face. The sheets smelled exactly as I remembered. Nothing in the house had changed, not even the whistle of the wind through the cracks of the windows.

I closed my eyes and felt my body begin to drift to dreamland but awoke to Pete standing over me in the shadows not making a move. I couldn't see his face, but I didn't have to, to know what was up.

"Let me change and I'll meet you outside. I don't want to wake the others up." I said. His heavy feet walked out and shut the door. I slowly put on my battle gear and wrapped a scarf around my face-- I didn't want another face full of chewing tobacco.

***

By the time I had slipped out the back of the cabin, the full moon had rose high above the tree line. The wind picked up and I could see the loose snow blow off the ground and get carried away like sand. I followed the trail away from the cabin, sinking into waist deep snow. I quivered as I felt the snow melt down my boots. I soon found Pete standing in a ray of moonlight in what I assumed was an empty field during the summer.

"Shouldn't we go back inside before a pack of wolves come and chews me up?" I asked looking him dead in the eyes. "Or has a wolf already found me?"

He raised his rifle into a ready position and clicked off the safety. Well, that was as much a truce as he'd get out of me.

"I want you to know I did my best to stop him." He said with a bit of remorse in his voice. "But there's only so long you can slow down a man like Eden before he makes you say yes."

"And I want you to know something too, Old Man. I'm going to do whatever it takes to stop him. We all do what we can to survive and I have no regrets." I said. "So how about we get this thing over with before you catch a cold?"

I threw down my canisters and gas mask into the snow and raised my knife. He cocked his rifle and began to take aim on his frost-covered gun. I hadn't had a stand off in years. Gloves were off this time and one of us would have to give our life for the other.

The wind kicked up so strong it felt like someone shoved me back but Pete stood solid as a rock. I waited for the sound of his gunfire and smell of gunpowder. Then, like lightning, his muzzle flashed and lit up the surrounding tree line. Like a race, I sprinted towards the only man I ever considered a father. Each step I took was a memory of the past. Each breath a happy thought. Time moved so slow I could see his traveling bullet crawling towards me while birds flew out of nearby trees. I raised my knife and shielded myself as the bullet connected with the steel of my knife. Sparks flew as the bullet bounced off my dagger.

By the time I was done worrying about that one, two more bullets were on their way-- glad to know Pops wasn't holding back. His muzzle flashed like a strobe light as we danced through the thick forest unleashing fatal blow after fatal blow. He kept me a good distance away until finally, on his final bullet, I was within arms reach. I blocked the bullet that emptied his chamber and pushed away his rifle with my free hand as my knife pierced through his stomach—- I made sure it wasn't a fatal blow. We both paused as we caught our breath and I felt his warm blood ooze down to the handle of my knife before dripping into the snow. I retracted my hand and Pete fell to his knees along with his rifle.

"You learned some new moves." He said with a smile.

"If I did, you taught me them, old man." I replied.

The pain started to take over him and Pete collapsed.

"Oh no you don't." I said catching him in mid-air. "Looks like you caught one of those colds I warned you about. Come on, let's get you inside."

I picked his fat ass up and dragged him back to the cabin-- he, of course, was no help.

***

That morning he awoke to find his wound had been cleaned and bandaged thanks to yours truly staying up half the night. His cabin was empty and we were long gone. I left a cup of water and note next to his bed that read, "Drink the whole glass and when you're done, then you can get up if you like."

When he finished the water, he took his sweet time standing up. He stretched and took a few steps towards the kitchen then abruptly stopped when the chain I had tied around his ankle caught tight against the bed. He looked back and let out a laugh that was cut short by him abruptly wincing and grabbing at his side.

"BUT ELYSSA, I HAVE TO PEE!" He yelled.

Something on the back of my note caught his eye. He turned it over and got a better look. That's what the cups for it read.

"Yeah right. You wish." Pete said out loud. He then used his limited strength to lift the bottom of the bed off the ground and slide out the chain-- victory was his.

After he had finished his morning duties, Pete laid back in bed and attempted to get some rest but this time he wasn't alone in the room. Pete didn't bother moving as Eden appeared next to the bed and knelt down.

Pete smiled while he stared at Eden's reflection off the bedroom window.

"I can't wait for you to meet her." Pete said to Eden. "I wish I could be there to see the look on your face when she tears you limb from limb. What a glorious day. The princess will slay the dragon."

"Interesting," Eden whispered, "So, you think I'm some sort of monster?"

"We'll you're certainly not the princess."

Eden smiled.

***

Eden walked out of Pete's cabin wiping his knife clean of blood and stood in front of his men.

"She's still on her way. Catch her before she gets through the mountain." He said as he tossed the knife back to one of his men.

"Yes sir!" the group yelled and ran back to their posts.

Eden's second in command, Axiel, stood close by.

"What if they make it past?" Axiel asked. Eden paused and looked at his friend.

"Then we sit and wait for them."

"Yes sir." Axiel responded as the small army headed out.

***

It took awhile, but FINALLY our hike started to take us into lower elevation. Good thing too, cause it felt as though the sun had been riding on my shoulders since we'd left. I started to have the luxury of feeling my toes again as the snow melted back to muddy dirt. The cool crisp air rushed down my lungs as we descended the mountain. I hated leaving Pete in such bad condition, but I knew he'd taken care of himself in worse conditions. I made a mental note to stop on by on my way back and check up on him. Maybe have Atticus bake him a pie or something. I dunno.

We followed the curve of the trail and came across a large scenic viewpoint. Below was a mountain village filled mostly with what looked like small shops and hotels. From what I could gather, the village was tucked away in a crater surrounded by trees.

When we approached the main street let's just say we didn't get a warm welcome-- or any type of welcome for that matter. It was like walking into a western ghost town only everything was well kept and none of the windows or doors were boarded up.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Alita said. Her voice echoed through the street.

"Oh yeah?" I replied. "You're just thinking that now?"

Alita and I explored a few of the shops and stocked up on some necessary supplies while Atticus stayed our watchful eye outside. I caught him staring at the ground so when I came out of the store I asked him what was up.

"Check out the tracks." He said.

I leaned down close but didn't know what they were.

"That's strange."

"They're tire tracks." Alita said.

"Tire tracks?" I asked. "but-"

And that's when I heard it. Something I've only read about in history books. A motorized vehicle sped down the trail leading straight towards us-- and there wasn't just one, there were six of them. Only one organization had the resources to ride gas-powered vehicles-- it was the military.

A dust cloud as high as a skyscraper kicked up into the air behind them as they raced their metal cans down towards the town. Not going to lie, I was a little freaked out. I turned to Atticus, "We need a plan and quick."

Atticus nodded. Within minutes the trucks reached town and slammed on their brakes. A gaggle of men exited the back carrying automatic weapons and other fun toys. Also, they weren't dressed in the normal camo green. These bad boys were sporting all black and looked like they were part of some sort of special ops team-- boy were they special all right.

The one wearing the most merit badges yelled out to the rest, "Spread out."

The group instantly started kicking open doors looking for something... or someone... probably us. As they got a few doors down, Alita ran out one of the buildings and sprinted across the street next door. A few of the super soldiers spotted her and quickly chased after, letting out a few unsuccessful shots.

Well, they're defiantly after us, I thought to myself.

Inside Alita's building, more gunshots went off followed by a short pause until Alita ran out the front door again and disappeared around the corner of the street. I smiled. She was getting better. Half the group that followed her into the building came back out exploding through the door and continued the foot chase.

While Alita was wasting time, yours truly had managed to crawl in the dirt under the vehicles and plant some claymores I'd found from inside the vehicles. I planted them under all vehicles except one and slide back out into my hiding place with a fist full of remote detonators.

Alita, who had lost momentum, lead the military goons around another corner, stopped and turned around. The military goons raised their guns and yelled, "Hands in the air. Get down on the ground, NOW!"

Alita didn't budge.

"HANDS IN THE AIR. NOW!" they yelled as they slowly advanced. Then, suddenly a gunshot rang out and one of the goons dropped to the floor. Then another and another. The three remaining scanned the area while swinging their guns frantically around while Alita just stood there.

"Gunner, up on the roof."

Atticus, who was up on the roof, sprinted away as the military goons shot off a few rounds. This allowed Alita enough time to pick off the remaining three with a pistol Atticus let her borrow.

Back on my side of the world, Commander Merit Badge made some pretty ugly faces as he found out his team was slowly decreasing in numbers. He ordered a fellow officer to go back to the trucks and radio in for extra support. That's when I had my fun. I let him open the door before I pushed the first button and blew the truck up. I'd never seen a heap of metal fly so high into the air. The dust cloud quickly shrouded Commander Merit Badge and myself.

"What the FUCK-" was all he could get out before I let the next four blow. The TNT rumbled the ground like an earthquake. This time I used the cloud of dust to take down the remaining men and as the dust cleared, Commander Merit Badge realized he was the only one left standing.

I walked up to him as he took out his pistol and pointed it at my head. His arm shook so much I thought he'd faint and piss himself before he could pull the trigger back. Commander Merit Badge looked down on the ground and saw Atticus's shadow from up on the roof. His eyes shifted to the left as he heard Alita taking her time walking up behind him. When his eyes landed back on me, I was already in mid-swing of knocking him over the head.

Chapter Nineteen: Marco, Polo

When he awoke inside one of his trucks, Commander Merit Badge started moving his tongue around his mouth like he was searching for a piece of stuck food.

"Don't bother," I told him, "you spit out the cyanide kill-pill when I knocked you out."

Commander Merit Badge didn't look too happy. The truck hit a bump and Commander Merit Badge bounced on his seat.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked.

"A place where you'll tell us all your secrets."

"We're almost there." Alita added. "Should I put the bag over his face now?"

"Yeah, why not. I'm tired of looking at his ugly face."

After Alita put a cloth bag over his face, the truck slammed on its brakes.

Atticus came around the back of the truck and opened the doors. As I crawled out of the truck I muttered, "Smooth driving."

He threw me a look and helped Alita get Commander Merit Badge out of the truck.

"Where am I?" he asked as he stepped out of the truck. All he could see was the pitch black of the bag. In actuality, we hadn't gone anywhere. I had Atticus do a few circles in town and then park the truck.

"That should be your last worry." I told him.

We walked him down the street and I decided to have a little fun by intentionally running his face into a few walls.

"Careful!" I yelled. "We don't want to damage him quite yet."

Alita had to hold her mouth from laughing. Atticus and I couldn't stop from grinning the whole time-- this was too easy. We walked Merit Badge up and down the street a few times, saying things like, "Duck under the branch" and "Watch out for this part of the river." Then when we got bored we sat him down in a chair outside on the main street.

"Ok, I'll go get the doctor." I told Alita as I walked down the street, my footsteps echoed as if we were in some sort of empty warehouse.

I slammed one of the doors to the empty building, waited a few seconds and then opened it again for Atticus. We loudly walked up to Merit Badge making sure he recognized our presence.

"Ah, doctor," Alita said, "so good to see you. Here are your tools." She reached out and handed Atticus a lighter, knife and some ice water from a canteen. "We'll leave you to it." I told Atticus as Alita and I made stepping noises as if we'd walked away.

Merit Badge took a hard swallow.

"Where's Eden hiding?" Atticus asked.

"I don't know."

Atticus started with the lighter and clicked it on. We waved the flame close to Merit Badges arm.

"What is that?!?!"

"Sorry, Atticus said. I had to move the cast iron cattle prod back into the fire. It was beginning to cool down."

"Listen," Merit Badge began to beg, "I'll make you as rich as a king if you let me go."

"All I want to know is where your leader is hiding." Atticus replied.

"But... I... I don't know."

Atticus threw the ice-cold water on Merit Badge's arm. Merit Badge screamed.

"What was that?!?!"

"I have to sanitize the skin before I can begin. I wouldn't want you dying of infection on me."

"Please, please don't do this! He's at Garden Grave, that's all I know."

"We already know he's in Garden Grave. We need to know where inside he is."

"I don't know!"

Atticus slide the knife down Merit Badges arm and made a small prick.

"AH! Ok, OK! FUCK!"

Merit Badge paused to think a second.

"He's somewhere next to the waterfall. I've never gone inside with him but I've seen him disappear somewhere over there on more than one occasion. I swear that's all I know!"

Atticus and I looked at each other. I nodded.

"Fine. Here's the plan then. We're leaving, but there are five men with guns pointed at you who are staying. Sit here and wait for five minutes. Someone will come up to you and take off your blindfold. When that happens they will escort you back to where ever you please. But make sure to not take off the blindfold yourself, otherwise you will be shot and killed by the five gunmen. Understand?"

"You're gonna have me killed, aren't you."

"No ones going to harm you. You have my word."

"Doesn't matter. Once Eden gets his hands on me, I'm dead anyways."

"Just wait here. You will be safe."

We piled in the truck and as we drove off Merit Badge was still sitting there in the middle of the street like a good little boy. I can only imagine the look on his face when he takes the blindfold off himself.

We left the lighter, knife and water there so he could connect the dots. Even if he ran to Garden Grave to warn Eden, it'd take him three days-- more than enough time to get in, kill the bastard and get out.

***

That night we parked the truck a few hundred feet away and planted the remaining claymores around it as we begun our hike over.

The place crawled with military men in black special ops outfits straddling automatic weapons. To get past the first wave of men, we blew up the truck as a diversion and snuck our way inside the gated area.

Once inside, I was amazed at how similar it looked to how Dad described it. A small valley nestled up to a cove with a waterfall. So many flowers were in bloom my sinuses went crazy. Atticus kept checking behind us to make sure we weren't being followed. Under the cover of moonlight we ran past moss-covered ruins and dodged in and out of the vine covered trees. I felt water drops on my legs as I kicked up countless amounts of flowers of every color shape and size. If the place wasn't so creepy, it'd actually be kinda cool.

Once we reached the waterfall we decided to split up. None of the guards patrolled around this area; probably to hide the illusion that something valuable was here.

Alita climbed up to the top of the waterfall while Atticus searched behind it and I stuck my head into the water. The water was clear and warm. Hundreds of fish swam in schools all around me and as I looked up, I could see the full moon, which gleamed even in the deepest parts of the pond. I surfaced for air and that's when I heard Atticus call out, "Hey, I found something."

I quickly dried off and regrouped behind the waterfall. At our feet was an old stone well with no water inside.

I took out a Second Sun canister, lit it and chucked it down. As the canister fell, I saw a small spiral staircase descend on the inside of the well.

"I think we've found the front door." I said. "How about we see if anyone is home."

Atticus and Alita smiled.

We climbed down the stairs as the air grew substantially colder. We reached the bottom of the well and sunk into about three inches of two hundred year old well water-- super awesome, now my shoes were wet. Down the hall of the passage, flames lit up the stone entrance. The air smelled stale and dusty with a hint of body odor. Above us I could see skeleton bones protruding out of the ceiling-- guess I knew where the body odor was coming from.

At the end of the passageway we were greeted by a twenty-foot by twenty-foot solid gold door. The door was already forced half open so we let ourselves in.

It was like stepping into the Hearst Castle only twice as fancy-- if you could believe it. All the priceless artifacts from way back during the war were stored here in hopes to be one day reclaimed by the military. Not only did the military forget about these treasures, they also wanted nothing to do with Garden Grave. Leave it to Eden to find such a wonderful surprise.

I didn't know it at the time, but we had just walked into the first underground castle ever built. Fifty-foot high ceilings with treasures so lavish just touching them gave me goose bumps. I grinned over to Atticus.

"Remind me to come back here after we kill Eden."

"I'm going to have to remind you?" Atticus asked.

"Good point." I said. "Ok Alita, you're up. Slap on those goggles and let's get this done and over with."

Alita slipped them on but didn't say anything. She started pressing small buttons on the side of the goggles until she ripped them off her head in frustration.

"I can't get any readings in here. It's just all static." I guess the goggles weren't meant to be used way underground. No problem. I had other ideas.

"We'll just have to do it the old fashion way I guess."

We heard footsteps approach so we made our way into a bedroom and smothered all the candles. As the footsteps grew closer, they slowed to a stop near our door. A flashlight clicked on and I heard the sound of a gun cock back-- someone wanted to play. I hid high up on the cross beams near the ceiling while Alita hid behind a giant statue next to the door and Atticus under a large wooden dining table with silk tablecloth. The barrel of Atticus's gun protruded out of the cloth, silencer and all.

As he fired, I jumped down on top of the sucker and used him as a cushion for my landing-- breaking his neck just in case he wasn't dead. I grabbed him by the feet and pulled him even more into the room before the next patrol guard walked by. The second guard stopped and took a step inside the doorway. Alita was an arms distance away and stuck a knife in the guys' head. He fell straight to the ground without a sound.

I didn't want to keep this up the whole night. We needed to get moving and cover some extra ground so I peeked down the hall and saw four more patrolling guards along with security cameras. The place was locked down harder than the white house. I needed some sort of a distraction.

"Hey guys, come look at this." I said.

Atticus and Alita creped up next to me.

"What do you guys see around the corner there?"

Alita and Atticus peered out the doorway and I gave them a solid push out into the hall and slammed the door shut. The guards heard the door, spotted the two standing there and started running down the hall after them. Alita panicked as sirens and lights went off. She tried to open the door but I had locked it. Atticus didn't waste any time as he grabbed her hand and started running. He was use to this by now-- I think.

Once the coast was clear I exited the room and walked down the hall with my hands in my pockets as calm as ever. The lights were still flashing but the siren had stopped. I knew exactly where Eden was hiding-- I just had to track down the most self-absorbed room I could possibly find and I was sure Eden would be there picking his nose.

Atticus got pinned into a corner as guards blocked both hallways and slowly started to advance towards them. Alita kicked open the door of one of the many bedrooms in the castle and pulled Atticus inside as he tried to pick off a few of his adversaries with a pistol. He had his worked cut out for himself since these cronies were military grade assholes and didn't seem to be going down so easily.

Alita locked the door as Atticus reinforced it with a heavy oak bookshelf just as the military men started muscling up the door. Together, the goons rammed the door trying their best to bust through. Since the door was made for décor more than strength, chances were it wasn't going to last long before the solid gold hinges broke off.

Alita flipped over a writing desk, spilling ink and paper onto a five hundred year old rug as Atticus combed around for an alternate escape route. The castle was buried under one hundred feet of dirt so windows were definitely not an option. That's when the banging on the door stopped. Atticus stood across the room and heard the faint sound of something sizzling coming from the other side of the door. He had heard that sound before but didn't know where from. That's when a cannonball the size of a watermelon blasted through the door shattering it like glass. Atticus jumped behind Alita's desk as shards of wood from the bookshelf flung towards him. The cannon ball smashed against a stonewall and fell the ground. These guys were not playing around.

Outside the smiling military goons pushed the still smoking cannon back into the corner of the hall. One of the men reached through the hole and tried to unlock the door but before he could, he fell to the ground with a belly full of lead from Atticus. The squad unleashed their automatic weapons on the door, turning it into a million toothpicks. Priceless paintings, furniture and the like received craters full of hot lead.

One after one, the squad charged inside the room, only to be swiftly dropped to their knees by a well-placed bullet from Atticus or Alita. Only one problem-- they were quickly running out of ammo as the endless horde of men advanced onward. The room soon filled with a cloud of gunpowder and pile of dead bodies as Atticus continued to hack away at the group until his gun ran dry. Didn't take long for the thirty men still remaining to push their way inside and surround the two.

"I'm going to kill Essa." Alita mumbled to Atticus as they were held at gunpoint and forced to lay on the ground.

***

I wandered around the castle trying to sniff out my rat of a brother when classical music began to play throughout the castle. I followed the eerie music down the hall to the source and realized I was in the music room. Enormous posh paintings hung on the wall next to elaborately decadent décor. A grand piano with silver keys and a gold seat sat in the corner collecting dust-- what a waste. The room was dim except a shaft of light which protruded out of a double doorway. Standing in the light was a man in a butler's uniform with his head bowed and arm extended towards the room next door. As I approached I noticed he wasn't just any sort of butler. He wore a bulletproof vest under his outfit and the outfit itself had an unnecessary amount of tears and zippers, most of which had no purpose other than decoration. His hair was well groomed and his jade eyes were that of a cold-blooded killer.

I entered the room and Mr. Belvedere followed behind me. He shut the door and locked it-- like that'd stop me. The room was massive and there was so much gold and silver everywhere you'd need sunglasses just to enjoy it. Glued around the room were glowing red beacons of C4. A remote detonator was clenched in Eden's hand as he sat sloppily hunched over a throne with one of his legs resting on the armrest-- what a dick.

Chapter Twenty: Yesterday Till Forever

"Elyssa," Eden said, "so good to see you. Please, won't you take a seat?"

There was only one problem; besides the fact that the last thing I was going to do was sit, there wasn't a chair in the room besides the throne he sat on.

"Good to see you too, ED. I guess you got tired of sounding like Daffy Duck and took care of that embarrassing lisp."

My words didn't even pierce his skin.

"We all have our obstacles to overcome." He said.

"You sure are playing it cool for a man with a big bounty on his head."

"Ah, I see. I suppose Oblivion Girl; the bounty hunter who crumbles cities into dust is going to collect on the reward? You always did enjoy playing dress up, but the time for games is over sister."

"Speaking of dress up, what's with Edward Scissorsleeves you got over there?" I asked as I pointed at Mr. Belvedere.

"Him? He's just my walking shadow. Harmless to those who stay behaved."

"Well then, tell your slave boy if he doesn't quit eyeballing me, his sleeves won't be the only thing with cuts in them."

All that accomplished was putting a smile on Mr. Belvedere's face-- fucking masochist.

"You know it's going to take more then your shadow to stop me from killing you, right?" I asked.

Eden took his leg off the armrest and made eye contact with me for the first time.

"That's why I bought a little insurance." He replied.

"I wouldn't really call C4 insurance, but whatever false sense of safety works best for you."

My blade reflected the ceiling light into Eden's eyes as I slowly slid it out from my side holster.

"It's something better than C4." He said. "Take a look."

A bright light appeared behind me as Eden clicked on a projector. The image was from one of the many hidden security camera's placed around the castle. I watched as Atticus and Alita were led out of a room by a group of well-armed men. Their faces were bruised, bloody and beaten.

"If you kill me, they die. However, if you come with me, you all live. It's a win, win."

"What if I agree and decide to kill you later?" I asked.

"I don't think that will be a option because even when your friends think they are safe, I'll have one of my spies close by their side. Isn't that right, Jophie?"

I had to admit, that briefly took my breath away. Jophie emerged from the shadows like the angel of darkness himself. I'm surprised I didn't smell his god-awful cologne a mile away. His eyes kept to the ground as he walked out. His vibe wasn't the same as I remembered it. He seemed different. Like his personality had vanished. I always knew the guy had his hands in shit, I just didn't know it so happened to be my brothers.

"So, do we have a deal?"

I looked away and allowed my hair to cover my face.

***

Atticus and Alita were dragged into a holding cell while the group of soldiers beat the crap out of them. Call it payback for killing over thirty of their closest friends. The bastards didn't even go easier on Alita. As the boys started a third round on them, a voice came over their headsets. The goons smiled down at both of them.

"Guess it's time to see the boss."

***

Jophie was long gone when Mr. Belvedere opened the door behind me. Eden smiled and stood up. The grin on his face was that of a man with no soul.

Behind me, a pack of his super soldiers walked in dragging Atticus and Alita gagged and bound behind them. The soldiers tossed them down on the ground as Eden walked up to them.

"So good to see the whole family is here minus one." He bent down to Alita's level and looked her face to face.

"Don't worry my dear, Kial won't be forgotten." He said as he stroked her hair. Alita's eyes said it all as the soldiers held her down in place. Eden then turned and looked to Atticus, "And either will the lovely bar maiden of Mnemosyne." Atticus stayed lifeless as he thought of all the ways he'd like to kill Eden.

"But for now," Eden added as he walked my way, "let's focus on Essa. Shall we?" He reached out his hand and one of his soldiers planted a pistol in it. He walked up in front of me and pointed the gun at my stomach.

"Say goodbye, Oblivion Girl."

Atticus and Alita watched in horror as that bastard shot me. The sting of the hot bullet made me see red when I closed my eyes. I still wasn't use to the sensation. I flew back in what felt like slow motion before hitting the cold marble ground. I wished it were carpeted so my blood could stain as a final 'Fuck you' to Eden. Oh well, maybe someone will slip and break an arm.

My vision went blurry as I heard Alita scream out my name-- such a silly girl. Atticus struggled with his restraints but couldn't budge-- I'd miss him most of all. Eden tossed the smoking pistol back to the soldier and ordered them to drag Atticus and Alita away to the trucks to be sent back to the ghost town.

As they exited the room Eden blew the C4 and Atticus and Alita watched as the ceiling collapsed on top of me. Dirty and debris was all I felt as my body was consumed into the darkness. Alita became hysterical, tears running down her cheeks. The goons knocked her unconscious as they tossed her limp body into the truck.

"Essa." Atticus whispered to himself as the truck drove away into the night. By now the whole castle had crumbled leaving nothing but a crater. It seemed as though Garden Grave had buried one last body.

Chapter Twenty-One: End Of An Era

I woke up to the vibration of the truck as it sped across the rocky terrain. My brain felt like a bowling ball being swung back and forth inside my head with every little move. The cold wind put goosebumps on my bare arms and I had hoped that it was all a dream. My eyes wondered over to Atticus who sat across from me. His eyes were hidden in the shadow. Essa was dead and it was just the two of us now.

The memory was so fresh in my mind I couldn't stop replaying it. I'm sure Atticus felt ten times worse. He was supposed to be her guardian. I hope he snaps out of it soon. I needed him now more than ever if I was going to get us out of this alive.

With my good eye, I scanned around the truck. Lucky for us, there were only two guards riding in the back with us and even they looked half asleep-- this was going to a piece of cake, I hoped. I sat up on the bench and tried to rub my eye. My hands were still bound but at least they had cut the rope around my feet. I stretched them out slowly and scratched my leg with my boot.

"How long was I out?" I asked Atticus. He didn't reply. I looked over at the guards who gave me a look to shut the hell up. I looked out the back of the truck and saw we were climbing down a hill. Must be about an hour before they drop us off in town. The only problem was we didn't know what they planned to do with us after that and it wasn't like I could ask these jerks without getting another blow to the head.

With my swollen fingers I gripped the rope tied around my wrists. It was wet; probably soaked with my own blood. I tried picking at it with my fingernails but the knot was too tight. I'd need something sharp to get out of this one. I made a mental note to bring more knives next time and started to rub the rope against the semi-sharp sheet metal of the truck. The noise from the rope was lower than that of the truck but I was getting nowhere fast. When my arms gave out, I took a break and tried to calm my mind. They won't kill us like Essa, I kept telling myself. I remembered I had promise Kial I'd be back soon. I wanted to keep that promise.

I saw something fall behind Atticus out of the corner of my eye. I looked down and saw part of the rope that bound his hands together. I'd have to ask him someday to teach me how he did that. Even though his hands were free, he kept them hidden behind his back as he tucked his feet on top of the fallen rope. He looked up at me but his eyes were icy and colorless, glazed over like a dead mans. Tears fell down his cheek but his face remained calm.

The road turned from rocky to smooth and I knew that we'd be approaching town any minute. Soon there'd be dead bodies and I didn't know if we were going to be included in that. The truck stopped and as the driver and passenger walked around the outside of the vehicle, two gunshots went off. The men sprinted towards the back of the truck and cautiously peeked inside. The trunk was dark and eerily quiet.

Atticus and I were tucked up against the tailgate holding our breath. The two dead soldiers lay next to us. Atticus had one of their helmets in his hand and tossed it towards the front of the trunk. The trigger-happy soldiers opened fire where it fell, the barrels of their guns hung over the tailgate. Atticus jumped up and spun the barrels across at the soldier and had them shoot each other in the chest. He grabbed a knife from the side pouch of one of the dead officers and sliced my rope.

I rubbed my scabbed wrists as I helped Atticus gather all the weapons. I picked up the last weapon and heard a branch break not far from us. Like an assassin, Atticus swung his newly acquired rifle around at the source of the noise. Jophie stepped into the moonlight with his hands up but Atticus didn't lower his rifle. Jophie cautiously walked up to us and stopped a good distance away.

"Where's Essa?" Jophie asked. Atticus didn't say a thing.

"She's... she's dead." I said. The words felt sour in my mouth. It was the first time anyone had said it out loud.

"Where have you been, exactly?" Atticus asked as he took a few more steps closer to Jophie.

"I don't know if you recall, but your little group left me and my men in a pretty big hole. It kinda took awhile to get out there." Jophie turned his gaze onto me. "And what the hell do you mean, 'She's dead'!?!?"

***

We built a fire in hopes that it would allow us time to calm down. Jophie made tea as we told him the story.

When we had reached the end, I gulped down the rest of my now cold tea and poured some more into my cup.

"What are we suppose to do now?" I asked.

"We go back and kill Eden." Atticus said.

"That's all fine and dandy," Jophie said, "but you know as well as I that Eden's far away by now. He'll find another rock to hide under until he's ready to strike again."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Atticus asked. "Go back home and pretend this never happened?"

"No, but we have to be smart about this. We can't just go in guns blazing and get ourselves killed."

"We should kill Eden," I chimed in.

"That's what I'm sayin-" Atticus said before I cut him off.

"-But I want to do it right. I want go home and train and when we all are ready, we'll all go after Eden together and kill him... for Essa."

Atticus and Jophie paused for moment and looked at each other.

"What do you think?" Jophie asked Atticus.

Atticus looked over at me and shook his head. "Do what you want. I don't have time to wait around."

That's when I remembered what Eden had whispered to us. He threatened Kial and Ayla.

"Oh yeah?!" I yelled back at Atticus. "Do you have time in your precious schedule to protect Ayla?"

I stood up and walked closer to him.

"I don't know if you remember or not, but that son of a bitch threatened her. Are you willing to lose her as well?"

Atticus didn't look up from the amber fire that danced on his face.

"I can't do it." He replied. "I can't just let him run away. Not when he's taken so much from me."

"That's why I'm begging you, please train me or at least take me to someone who can!"

Atticus looked up from the fire.

***

We ran the gas tank dry and reached Pete's mountain cabin at sunrise. The sky was clear and the wind still. I went up to the front door thinking maybe he didn't hear the truck.

"Pete, you home?" I called. "We're back. Pete?"

I stepped onto the porch and saw the door was open. I heard no reply inside as Atticus and Jophie walked up and silently pushed me aside. With his bow and arrow out, Jophie looked over to Atticus who had out his rifle. They nodded to each other and rushed inside.

In the cabin, a deer was in the kitchen, nibbling at the food left out on the counter. Atticus went towards Pete's bedroom while Jophie and I checked the guest room.

Atticus swung open the door, paused and put down his weapon.

"You guys." Atticus called to us.

"Is he here?" I called back. Atticus didn't reply.

Jophie and I walked over to him, but Atticus put me in his arms before I could reach the bedroom.

"You don't want to see it, hun. You don't want to see it."

Wrapped up in his arms, my body froze. Every time I thought I'd cried all my tears away, more seemed to show up. I put my arms around his waist and dug my face into his jacket. He smelled nice, like a lotus flower.

***

Later that day the three of us cleaned up the cabin. I did the dirty dishes while Atticus swept and Jophie did the laundry. I didn't mind the extra work-- anything to help keep my mind busy.

That night Jophie wrapped Pete's body up in a decorative blanket and we cremated him outback on a small bonfire. Jophie said a few words but I wasn't really listening. I kept waiting for Essa to pop out of the back door and call us names. The air felt chillier than before and as I looked around the forest, glowing animal eyes stared back at me. Without warning, snowflakes fluttered down from the sky and I could feel them melt down the back of my neck. I miss the way things were.

Chapter Twenty-Two: Misty Mountains

The next morning I was awoken by the smell of someone cooking. I opened my bedroom door and was shocked to see Atticus up and already dressed for the day.

"You cook breakfast?" I asked.

"Need to keep your strength up." He replied. "Your training starts today."

He turned and dumped a few delicious looking flapjacks on a plate. It threw me off guard.

"Training huh? Know where I can find a good teacher?"

"I might know someone interested."

I smiled and cut into the breakfast.

"Uh, Atticus."

"Yeah?"

"Why are there carrots in these?"

***

After breakfast Atticus showed me down a path that led from the cabin to the river. There, near the river covered in snow, was an old obstacle course that Essa use to trained on with Pete.

"How did you find this?" I asked.

"Essa showed me it the morning we left. She explained some of the weirder things he'd have her train to do. I figure with Jophie's help, you'll be up to speed in no time."

"When do we start?"

"Now." Said Jophie walking down the path with a shovel in his hand. "Once you're done shoveling all the snow off the course, we'll begin."

"But the course is two hundred feet long."

"Well then," Atticus added, "you better get started."

By sunset I'd finished the course. My hands were bleeding with blisters from the shovel. Feeling in no mood but to fall asleep on my bed, I walked into the kitchen smelling of stew and bread.

The next morning Jophie woke me up by sneaking into my room and splashing a bucket of ice-cold water over me. I instantly shot up like a firework and swung my fist at him, missing by a mile.

"WHY'D YOU DO THAT!?!?"

"Why'd you let me?" Jophie replied.

I swung the soaked covers off and planted my feet on the wet wooden floor. I lost my balance and found myself flat on the floor.

After a long hot shower, I met Atticus at the obstacle course.

"Here you go." He said tossing me a knife. "Flip it around in you hand like you're about to stab the ground."

"Like this?"

"Good. Now grip it tight."

I squeezed the knife as hard as I could until my blisters reminded me they hadn't gone healed so quickly.

"I can't," I said, "my blisters."

"That's the point." He said. "You need to teach your body to forget the pain. Whether it's a blister or a bullet wound, your body needs to learn that survival is more important than pain. Clear your mind and numb your pain."

"And what's the benefit to that?"

With a short tree branch in his hand, Atticus charged at me. He was quick and I could keep up for most of the moves until he knocked the knife out of my hand, tripped my feet and pressed his stick against my throat.

"Staying alive." He replied.

***

The next few days were like that. Jophie would find different ways of dumping freezing cold water on me in the morning while Atticus would put rocks in my shoes and make me swing a knife around in the afternoon.

Than one day I woke up extra early and had a bucket of freezing cold snow water waiting for Jophie. I stuffed my bed with extra sheets and pillows, letting him think I was fast asleep. I hid behind the door and as he snuck inside I caught him off guard and completely soaked him. Pieces of ice not fully melted came crashing down over his head. We both had a good laugh until my laughter turned to screams as he chased me around the cabin with his bucket of water.

Later that week I re-shoveled out the obstacle course keeping my blisters fresh. Over the past few weeks I became increasingly good as Atticus taught me moves he'd seen Essa use. Most of them were tricks and illusions, but some were genuine tactics similar to that of fencing.

Atticus had upgraded from the old tree branch to a dulled knife after I sliced the branch in half during a brawl. I got good enough to the point where I didn't even have to look at his knife to know where he was going to attack from; his eyes gave himself away. He taught me to be aware of my surroundings, to use them to my advantage. I flung snow in his face and charged him. Taking a defensive approach, he protected his chest while I slide low to the ground, knocking him off his feet. By the time he hit the ground, not only had my knife pressed against him, but turned his knife against himself as well. He let out a small half smile and said, "Good," as I pulled him off the ground.

That night we were eating dinner when someone knocked at the door. The boys, not taking their eyes off their food suggested I be the one to answer it. Thinking this was another one of their tests, I unclipped my knife and cautiously approached the door.

"Who is it?" I yelled. No reply.

I slowly opened the door. The light from the cabin spilled out onto the porch illuminating the lower half of a male body.

"Can I help you?"

With those words, the man stepped forward and for a moment I thought I was dreaming. Standing on the porch with big luggage bags was Kial. I dropped my knife and ran to him, knocking him off his feet with kisses. Atticus and Jophie gave each other a glance and continued on with their meal.

"Get in or out but shut the door." Atticus yelled at us.

"Yeah, it's freezing." Jophie added.

***

The next morning Kial was the first one up. He couldn't wait to get started on a project he'd given himself. He wouldn't tell me what it was exactly, but he seemed excited.

That morning I went out with Jophie and Atticus but we didn't go to the obstacle course. They took me deep into the forest on the other side of the cabin.

"Here, we're going to practice stealth." Jophie said.

"Once you complete this task, we will be done." Atticus added. "Then we can start our search for Eden."

I felt my heart race. It didn't matter what the exercise was, I would stop at nothing to complete it.

"Go out into the forest, catch a deer using no traps, and bring it back here alive."

You had to be shitting me.

"That's impossible! You two couldn't even do it if you tried."

"That's true," Jophie agreed, "but we aren't the one's trying to fill in for Essa."

Atticus handed me a small knapsack.

"Here's enough rations for five days. If you haven't completed it by then, you never will."

I grabbed the knapsack and flung it over my shoulder. Both boys gave me a hug, and then I disappeared into the trees.

Chapter Twenty-Three: Battle Angel Alita

My first day had a rough start. In the afternoon the snow wouldn't stop falling which made searching for deer tracks close to impossible. I'd have to get lucky. The snow crunched under my foot with every step and the quieter the air, the louder my steps became. I pushed through bushes and branches, snapping twigs off along the way, making trails where there weren't any and if there were deer close by, I surely wasn't helping myself.

That night I made a fire. When I opened my knapsack, I found most of my food missing. I dug deep inside the pouch and discovered a hole on the bottom where a sharp branch had cut through. Only a few apples and slice of bread remained. I threw the bag to the ground and went to sleep on an empty stomach.

That morning I woke before the sun. My fire had gone out so I walked around to gather leaves and branches. I rounded the crest of a hill and peered down eye to eye with a deer. We stood there frozen in a staring contest. I slowly set down my branches, crouched low and circled my way around. My feet moved slowly with anticipation. I just wanted to get this over with.

Twenty feet away, the deer raised its nose to the air and then sprinted off into the darkness. I stood up, gathered my sticks and walked back to camp.

I spent the later half of the day searching for food. Having to ration my knapsack food, my stomach was anything but grateful.

At the end of the day I had caught a few fish from the river. On a full stomach and with extra kindle tossed in the fire, I went to sleep. This time as I awoke in the morning, I opened my eyes and saw a deer in the bushes a few yards away eating berries. It's right cheek had a healed scar. I slowly pulled my blanket off and crawled on all fours like dog. The wind blew against my face. This time I knew I was down wind. I could feel my body wanting to leap out at the deer but my mind kept my legs frozen. I didn't know what to do next so I darted over at the deer and chased it through the forest. The deer took up like a rocket and soon left me out of breath and alone. I threw my arms up in the air and yelled, "Oh, come on!"

The next night I hadn't caught anything for dinner, so I dug into the bread and one of the few apples left in my knapsack. That morning I woke to a noise near my head. I tilted my eyes back and saw the deer with the scar digging around my knapsack. I reached for the knapsack and the deer took a few startled steps back but didn't run.

I opened the knapsack and emptied out my only remaining apple.

"This what you want?" I asked as the deer grunted and snorted.

I took out my knife and cut the apple into small piece. I extended out my hand and the deer sniffed, walked a few feet closer and ate the apple out of my hand.

***

Atticus and Jophie were chopping firewood out in the front yard when they saw me appear from the woods with the deer following close behind like a dog. Jophie spotted me first and let out a laugh as he and Atticus walked up and gave me a hug. Kial came out to see what all the commotion was about and after he got his fill of petting the deer, he told me he had a present for me waiting inside. The four of us said goodbye to the deer and Atticus tossed an apple far into the woods. The deer chased after it.

Inside the cabin was a mannequin wearing a black corset, Victorian style skirt, gothic knee high boots and a gas mask.

"Ta da." Kial said.

"Oh wow!" I screamed. "Is this my new outfit?"

Kial nodded. "Newly upgraded, I might add."

He walked over and pointed to the corset.

"This particular corset and skirt are woven with bullet proof cloth. Capable of withstanding knifes and most types of gunfire while the cloth stays flexible and light. They even have holsters woven in the back and sides for holding multiple gas canisters. Down here we have military grade knee high boots. Weather and waterproof up to one hundred feet and my favorite, a new gas mask; version 2.0. This new-age beauty has your goggles integrated into the eyes with translucent glass so you view maps without your vision being impaired, has all Essa's old accessories in a new upgraded way and the outer shell is also bullet proof."

They didn't have to ask me twice. Within minutes I had the suit on outside and was testing it against Atticus and Jophie. The suit by itself would've been more than enough, but added with the training that the boys gave me and I felt like a whole new girl.

We had a celebration dinner that night and in the morning after breakfast we packed our stuff. Standing outside on the front lawn looking back at the cabin was like looking at my childhood home, but I felt more love from these people than anything my parents ever tried to give me.

That's when I felt vulnerable like a old friend was watching me. I turned around and looked out into the forest. Standing behind a tree there was the deer with the scar on its face staring back at me. He stood there a moment waiting and then took off into the forest. I smiled and walked with the boys down the hill towards Garden Grave.

What I didn't see was Essa standing further into the forest watching from the trees. Her shirt was torn and underneath showed her bandaged stomach. A hand crept onto her shoulder and Eden's voice said, "Come, we'll need to prepare for their arrive."

###

About The Author:

Will Novy is a Southern Californian native living in Los Angeles. Currently working in the film industry, Will works as a freelance cinematographer and gaffer.

On top of working for companies such as Disney, ABC, Nike, MTV, Discovery Channel, Sony, Warner Bros, AMC, etc, Will also is the founder of Skyride Studios, a production studio aimed at bring innovative projects to life.

Connect with him at:

www.skyridestudios.com or www.willnovy.com
