Somebody once told me not to marry Henry
He already had two wives' heads
His brother married Cathy, a very pretty lady
He died from tuberculosis :(
Well, the years start coming, and no son was coming
Changed the rules and then Pope Clement started running
Didn't make sense to have the Catholic church
If you didn't get to have Divine Right first
So much Thomas, so much wife
So what's wrong with taking a few lives?
The English Reformation is underway
The Protestants are safe
Hey now! You're a king now
Killed your wives now, go pray
Hey now! you're a criminal, get a son now
Get laid
And all the Bibles are gone
Only a son can save the throne
Mary is a cold girl, but she just loves God
If you're a Protestant you better run far
Elizabeth cares to differ
She's a politique in the big picture
The ice Edward skates is getting pretty thin
Cramer only does what's best for him
England is on fire. Where's the Church?
Mary wished she'd gotten to it first
Hey now! You're a king now
Killed your wives now, go pray
Hey now! You're a criminal
get a son now, get laid
And all the Bibles are gone
Only a son can save the throne
First name: Henry, Last name: Eighth
All he tryna do is keep the Tudor name safe
Four types of Thomas's: Cramer, Cromwell, Wolsey, More
But them Thomas's didn't know what was in store
Henry the eighth, 1521
Defender of the Faith
Here comes the Act of Supremacy
1536, Anne Boleyn *screech*
Seymour has a fling, gets a ring
1547, Henry is gone
Mary takes the throne
1549, Bible is *screech*
Book of Common Prayer everywhere, WE OUT
Hey now! You're a king now
Killed your wives now, go pray
Hey now! You're a criminal, get a son now, get laid
And all the bibles are gone
Only a son
Somebody once asked will the Virgin Queen last
Many suitors wanting her...place
She said nope to Phil and Will
They both needed to chill
The armada isn't up to the Navy's pace
Well, Walsingham snitched, marry talked a bit, got hit
Didn't make sense not to cut her down
Especially since she thought she could take the crown
Elizabeth didn't have an heir, but she didn't really care
Forty-four years with that red hair
Her subjects loved her you see, it's sad that she died in 1603
Hey now! You're a king now, killed your wives now, go pray
Hey now! you're a criminal, get a son now, get laid
And all the Bibles are gone
Only a son can save the throne
And all the bibles are gone
Only a son can save the throne
