Gujaratis in the house make some noise, yes...
*Audience calling for Mr.Wu*
Non-Gujaratis in the house make some noise...
*Still looking for Mr.Wu*
Yes... i would like to tell you that...
Us Gujjus don't give birth to Boys...
Our parents give births to Peons...
If it's a girl... they'll flip out!
They'll shout "Laxmiji laxmiji" and do garba in the labor room!
And if it's a boy...
Oh... *Checking if there's one more*
Now that you are here...
Go deposit this cheque..!
They have a different level of obsession for getting work done!
And all the "good" jobs are given to the Guys...
the flush is not working...go check...
Get that lizard from behind the tube-light...
Terrorist attacks are happening in the city...
Go check...
And there are no office hours... At any moment, any time...
Ssup?
Nothing much
Go Deposit the cheque...
Ssup?
Watching TV
Go deposit the check..
Ssup?
Potty
oh!
Did you flush properly?
Yes...
Good..now go deposit the check.
So...we all have gone through
that particular age in life...you know...
Especially for boys...because..
*Getting existential because of the mic-stand*
So...it's a particular age...
Wherein...your voice changes...
on Friday you sound like a chipmunk...
and on Monday you sound a teen-age hulk hogan...
You start getting facial hair...
and at that time your curiosity is at its peak!
You want to know, What to do...how is it done...
what is it called...
How to swear...and what do those words mean...
At that age...you find a Barbie is more interesting than a G.I.JOE..
 
In the recess... instead of cricket...
you want to play with girls...
So, i was in that age...
And in Gujju families... when we are in that age...
our parents are at the peak of their romance...
But they can't do anything, because they already have us in the house
 
 
Because you can't watch in front of the grandparents...
how will you control them then..
So...one day at night...
I came out of my room...
and i was drinking water...
suddenly i heard some noises from the TV room
*Badly sings Bhegey Honth from Murder*
 
I was like...this is new!
Doremon, Dora i have heard
But this is new!
So i opened the TV Room door a little...
And i peeked...
in the TV...
An Uncle and an Aunt... were doing something...
I didn't know what it was, but i was enjoying...
it tickle..
i didn't know where it tickled...
But they were doing something...
were they eating each other? i didn;t know..
And...
It seemed very interesting...i was disgusted...
But i wanted to watch it also...
And i got so indulged in watching that...
I didn;t realize when...
Went into the room, and stodd like this in front of the TV.
Uncle-Aunty in TV finished eating each other.
I turned around...
My mom was in shock!
OH GOD!
And my dad was like...
Now i had noticed that..on the TV
There was no channel number.. that means they are watching it on DVD.
Next day, mom-dad went to work and i became Sherlock!
I searched the entire DVD rack...
In that i found a CD with the same uncle-aunty eating each other..
Then i put it in the DVD player...
and then...
Unlimited weird stuff...
My mind was blown!
Where did all my blood rush to...i did not understand!
What is happening!
I went into a trance...
Again i got so indulged....that...
I didn't notice my parents were in the room...
The TV uncle-aunty again finished eating each other...
And i turned around...
My mom was again in Shock...OH GOD!
And dad was angry!
And i was like...
Give me the cheque...
 
 
 
