There's a song and a dance to be made about
the release of inXile Entertainment's classic
title The Bard's Tale, but then we'd have
to talk about puns and that's Dave's forte,
not mine.
So, over seven years since its release on
home consoles and eventually the PC, we iOS
gamers get a chance to check out this 3D Action-RPG
title.
Weighing in at around 1.7 GB installed on
your iDevice, you'd hope that the game was
uncut, and thankfully (or is that regrettably)
it is.
What this means for gamers is a seriously
adult presentation, complete with dry humor
suited to a particular kind of patron (such
as fans of British comedy), that pokes, prods,
and lampoons the genre in a way that has since
become a rather regular gag.
As such it loses its sharpness, but touches
such as picking up family photos of the person
you've just slain or slagging off an angry
citizen only to have them attack you close
to the end of the game in revenge are not
lost.
However, I'm getting ahead of myself.
You play the role of 'The Bard', a true anti-hero
whose only goal in life is to be as self-serving
as possible.
If people happen to be helped in the process
of questing, then the upshot is possibly not
being run out of town quite so quickly.
Like any good Action-RPG the game revolves
around its combat, which in this case involves
summoning a variety of companions (the game's
equivalent of 'magic') and welding a weapon
or two as long as you have the skills for
it.
Sadly it falls in to the same trap of many
other titles of the day, with combat being
repetitive and at times a chore as you dance
around doing nothing while waiting for your
summons (who are extremely fragile) to be
replaced.
Thankfully you won't have to manage your inventory
as 'trash' items are immediately converted
to a monetary value, while weapons and armor
are exchanged with the best available as they're
found.
This may eliminate some fans of the genre
from the field as the addiction of harvesting
various treasures can be powerful, but for
those interested in the story (which is quite
amusing over its 20 hour span of gameplay)
it's a welcome change of pace that keeps things
moving forward.
Despite its amazingly adept conversion to
the iOS platform, the game isn't without its
flaws, notably the camera becomes a nuisance
as it changes perspective seemingly at a whim
(enter a building with the map oriented north,
only to appear with it oriented east), while
dungeons become tiresome as you constantly
adjust to see where you're going.
Other issues include the dialogue being entirely
skipped if you touch the screen, which is
a shame when vocal talents like Cary Elwes
and the indomitable Tony Jay are on show.
The Bard's Tale hasn't quite survived the
ravages of time intact and much of what was
witty and charming about the game in 2004
is now droll and a bit of a running gag.
It's a shame the game didn't receive more
in the way of polishing to make it fit in
with today's crowd, but if you're after a
solid and occasionally chuckle-worthy game
to eat up your spare time, give this game
a go.
