Geoff: I think... if I had to put my money on a victor...
Gavin: ...Victor Melling?
Ray: Well, nobody named Victor is in this room, so you'd lose.
Michael: Awh, dude.
Gavin: I don't belieeeeve...!
Ray: Oh, hey!
Geoff: Victor Borgia, the master of comedy.
Ray: OHH!
Jack: Geoff, if you put money on someone, who would you put money on right now?
Ray: Wait...
Ray: WHAT!?
Geoff: I would put money on...
Gavin: Michuelle?
Geoff: Ah, you know, I honestly, I'd still put money on Jack.
Jack: Wow, really.
Geoff: I like his mining technique the best.
Gavin: How's, what's his, what, how do you have technique at mining!?
Ray: Mmmay have lost a gold ore there!
Michael: How'd you do that, Ray?
Gavin: Mines a snaking salamander.
Ray: Uhhh, underneath the gold ore... was ahh, lava.
Geoff: [laughing] Nyeaheah!
Yeah that might, eh that'll happen sometimes.
Ray: Yeah, so I lost one, I think.
*Gavin laughs*
Geoff: Oh, really?
Jack: Well, that's...
Ray: Yeah.
Geoff: You gotta be careful about that.
Gavin: You div.
Geoff: Uh, if you find the record, my friend...
RayL Oh, that's right.
Michael: Hey, Geoff.
Geoff: ...you can always...
Ray: Get another gold ore.
Geoff: ...get another gold ore from me.
Gavin: NOOOO!!!
Michael: Just break that...
Gavin: Michael's got...! *weak sputtering*
Michael: Oh, does Michael have THREE GOLD BLOCKS!?
Geoff: Oh my god!
Michael: ...fucking ASSEMBLED ON TOP OF THE TOWER!?
Geoff: Michael is...
Gavin: I dunno, do you?
Geoff: ...just rocketed into first place!
Michael: Yes. Wooo!
Gavin: Arright I'm gonna uh! My tower's still taller though. :(
Geoff: Yeah, first place. where he already was.
*Michael and Ray laughing*
Ray: It's true!
Geoff: Gavin is uhhh...
Ray: His tower is INDEED taller.
Geoff: ...continuing his ore tower.
Michael: Alright!
Geoff: Good lord, Michael.
Geoff: What a commanding lead you've created.
Jack: So...
Jack: I can't, I can't just trade... uh.
Ray: I almost made a gold helmet. Almost.
Geoff: No.
Geoff: There's no trading.
Ray: Eyyy! I got one!
Jack: Like the disc? I can't give you the disc and be like "Give me something for this."?
Gavin: What've you done?
Ray: I almost made a gold helmet. But I made a gold block, we're good.
Geoff: No.
Jack: Arright.
Ray: I got one!
Geoff: Alright, Ray's on the board.
Michael: Lotta gold down here I still need to find.
Geoff: Yeah.
Ray: Well, didn't Geoff say you, like, you need to use the nuggets?
Geoff: Yeah! I believe, I believe I DID say that.
Michael: I'm sure you do.
Gavin: UHP!
Gavin: ...Okay!
Geoff: I dunno if that's true or not though.
*Michael and Geoff laughing*
Geoff: I can't remember.
Michael: Geoff SAID it.
Michael: But that doesn't mean shit.
Geoff: I, I built this thing like three weeks ago, I can't remember.
*Ray singing We Built This City by Starship*
Geoff: I have notes but I can't understand my, I can't read my notes.
Michael: You absolutely can not.
Gavin: Sometimes Geoff has to give me his notes so I can read his handwriting for him.
Ray: Can you decipher that code?
Geoff: It's true.
Michael: Yeah.
Gavin: Oh, I've realized what I've just done: I've left diamond floating on the floor somewhere.
Michael: Cuz it is!
Gavin: God... damn!
Ray: Why don't you make a tower of diamond?
Michael: Geoff.
Geoff: [quietly imitating Gavin] God damn, Gavin!
*Gavin laughs*
Geoff: Yeah, what's up?
Ray: Eh.
Ehhh!
Eh... unh!
Jack: Hey, Geoff?
Ray: HUNH! Allllright.
Geoff: Yeah, what's up?
Jack: You might wanna come back up.
Ray: Conquered THAT.
Jack: If you wanna, if you wanna catch this, I dunno if you do or not.
Ray: Oh, hey!
Geoff: Uhh, you're orange, right, Jack?
Jack: Yisss.
Geoff: Yeah, you are.
Geoff: Getting a nice, sweeping area helicopter shot.
Ray: Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Really!? Really.
Jack: Uwaaaaah.
*someone making flying noises*
Ray: REALLY.
Ray: Really.
Geoff: Paid a lotta money for this shot.
Michael: OH GOD!
Ray: Oh! You good?
Michael: I fell.
Ray: Okay, finally.
Geoff: Ohhhhhh!
Geoff: Jack's got two now!
Ray: Well. Shit.
Gavin: I think I lost a piece of diamond.
Geoff: How'd you lose a piece of- well, I don't give a shit about that.
*Michael wheezing*
Ray: Did it fall in the lava?
Michael: [continuing Geoff's sentence] How did you- I don't fucking care you fucking piece of garbage.
Geoff: Ayeah.
Michael: God, there's shit everywheeeeere!
Geoff: Mmm. There's more, more than enough for one.
Geoff: Shit everywhere!? What do you mean, Michael?
Michael: Just like, blocks.
*Gavin and Geoff laughing*
Ray: Yeah, you're right about that.
Geoff: There's a few of 'em.
Michael: Yeah.
Geoff: Decided to put them in this let's play.
Michael: Oh! Yes!
Geoff: Whadja find?
Michael: A piece of gold.
Geoff: Nice, dude! Oh yeah, look at you!
Ray: Oh! Hm.
Geoff: Michael took what I said to heart about uhh, not focusing on the bottom.
Michael: Geoff!
Geoff: Will that be a tactical error on his part?
Michael: No, cuz I just found gold!
Geoff: [very quietly] Yeh... did you?
Michael: Yeah! You ju- you watched me.
*Geoff chuckling*
Geoff: Did I?
Michael: Uh, that I don't know. Probably not. But I TOLD you I did.
Gavin: Ope! Oh then, ohpfff!
Ray: What?
*Jack laughing*
Geoff: Olives? Gavin found olives?
*Gavin laughing quietly*
Jack: Gavin just had a seizure.
Gavin: I think my... [laughing] my one may have sprung a leak.
Geoff: What sprung a leak?
Gavin: [still laughing] My, my cube.
Ray: Did you break some glass?
*Gavin laughs harder*
*Jack laughs*
Geoff: God damnit.
Lemme see.
*Gavin laughing*
Geoff: Uhh.
Gavin: Oops!
Ray: Does it at least look cool?
Geoff: Yeahp!
*Gavin, Geoff, and Jack laughing*
Geoff: Yeah, you busted two blocks, you idiot!
Jack: Are you leaking out the side?
Gavin: TWO blocks?
Geoff: Have to fuckin'... *sighs*
Turn my uh...
*Gavin sighs heavily*
Geoff: ...hand on.
Gavin: [still sighing] Fudge.
Ray: Why's that?
Geoff: So I can replace the... glass that Gavin broke.
*Gavin laughing*
Geoff: Arright... it...
Michael: Geoff, I hope I never make you turn your hand on.
Gavin: I've inconvenienced you so.
Man, I hope Michael doesn't WIN! Aaargh!
Michael: I hope Michael DOES win.
Jack: I'm okay with Michael winning.
Gavin: Why!
Jack: He hasn't won in a while.
Ray: I've won the past two, so someone else can win.
Gavin: I haven't won in a while!
Michael: Plus, Michael never wins like, hey... actually build something.
Jack: That's true.
Geoff: I haven't won in a while.
Gavin: Yeah, you're cheatin' though, Michael.
Michael: How'm I cheating?
Ray: Geoff, you don't really play anymore though.
Gavin: You se-, you secretly went and played Minecraft!
Geoff: It's true, I prefer to uh...
Michael: [laughing] I did play the game outside of work.
Ray: Geoff has retired.
Geoff: Well, I wouldn't say I retired, but I do prefer to create the maps...
Michael: But I wouldn't say that's cheating.
Geoff: ...and then emcee as opposed to play them.
Michael: You know why? Cuz you're amazing at it, Geoff.
Ray: Emcee (M.C.)? Master Chief? I get it! Nice!
Geoff: Man, I'm, I'm amazed at Michael's...
Gavin: Ahh, pfff!!!
Geoff: ...fuckin' speed.
Ray: He is doing very well.
Gavin: Sod it. Knobs.
Ray: I haven't even found the gold block yet.
Geoff: He is doing very well.
Geoff: Needs, he needs to be the recipient of NINE gold bars and he will win.
Gavin: Arright. I'm gonna put myself on the board!
Michael: So nine nuggets make a bar, right?
Gavin: It's uh... it's ridiculous.
Geoff: Yawp!
Ray: Wait. Oh yeah. Nine nugget make a bar.
Geoff: Yeeaaawp.
Gavin: Nine bar!
Geoff: Wow. It is an interesting mining technique Michael's got.
Very hard to find him in here.
Gavin: ONE! Hennh...
*everyone laughs at Gavin's enthusiasm*
Geoff: As a matter of fact, I have no idea where Michael is.
Geoff: Are you on the...
Michael: I'm on the gravel level.
Gavin: Gravellevel!
Michael: Wherever the fuck THAT is.
Geoff: So everybody's got their, their base block and at least...
Gavin and Ray: [singing Masterchef Synesthesia by Swede Mason] Base base base base base! Knowledge.
Geoff: ...one gold block.
Geoff: Gavin and Ray are tied for last place.
Ray: X-Ray and Vav, baby!
Gavin: HEH-OH!
Ray: You can buy the shirt now!
Gavin: Has anyone seen my filing cabinet?
*Ray laughs, Geoff sighs, and Michael snorts*
Ray: So did you take the uh, the pogo stick or the wheelchair to work today?
Gavin: Wheelchair!
Ray: Dude, gravel is like...
Geoff: Gravel's annoying!
Jack: Oh, shit!
Michael: It's so annoying cuz it falls!
Ray: Lemme tell ya, I haven't noticed 'til now that it sucks!
Geoff: I was like where are you!
Jack: Right behind you, turn around!
Hello!
Geoff: Oh! Okay.
*Geoff and Jack laughing*
Gavin: [singing Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler] Turn around, Geoffrey!
Geoff: I'm just seein' shit flyin' and I didn't know what...
Jack: Nah, nah I made a little... check it out I made a little spiral staircase.
Michael [continuing Gavin's song] I just wanna find some fuckin' gold!
Geoff: Oh, nice!
*lots of people singing* And I need you now tonight! [garbled gibberish]
Ray: Wow, we're all gay.
Michael: [still singing] I wanna make a Tower of Pimps.
Michael: [singing] And I'll build it and stand right on top!
Gavin: [singing] It is only made out of gold...
Ray: Hey, I have uh four chests. Does that mean anything?
Michael: What's that, Ray?
Geoff: What'd you say?
Ray: I have four chests, does that mean anything?
Geoff: Yeah. It means you are four chests richer than if you didn't have them.
Michael: Means fuckin', means you're pretty chesty.
Jack: Arright.
Ray: Got a diamond pickaxe!
Michael: Nice, Ray!
Ray: MAN! That. Dirt's gonna get mined.
Geoff: Alright, Ray.
Gavin: Mine?
Jack: Mine?
Geoff: Jack's mine is definitely the easiest to navigate.
Jack: You're welcome.
Geoff: Thank you.
Jack: I'm tryin' to make it easy on you, Geoff.
Ray: [mocking Jack] Uhhh, my mine's the best and I'm... gay.
Geoff: Appreciate it.
*Michael snorts and Geoff laughs*
Ray: Hey! I found my third uh, dirt block.
Michael: Alright!
Ray: That's it.
Michael: Good job!
Ray: Thanks.
Geoff: Alright...
Geoff: Ahh! The sun sets on a beautiful day in Achievement City.
Gavin: One two three four five six seven!
Geoff: Four workers are still, uh, toiling away.
Michael: Whadjya build there, Gavin?
Geoff: Gavin has created a boner of lapis.
*Jack cracks up*
Ray: The best kind.
Geoff: That he's gonna have to mine down to put the real tower up if he ever gets close enough to winning.
Gavin: I'm all about place-holders at the moment.
Geoff: Which I'm guessing is not gonna happen.
Gavin: [laughing] Aww.
Ray: Don't wanna go that way!
Ray: With that there... ope! That was!
Michael: Geoff! I am like pinned up against the wall!
Ray: That...!
Michael: In a fucking f- uh, in the water.
Ray: That was retarded.
*Geoff laughing*
Michael: Oh. OH!
Michael: Oh, I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I'm drowning.
Gavin: Drown, you bitch! Drown!
Michael: I'm drowning. I'm drowning.
Gavin: Drown!
Ray: That's not good. Don't drown!
Jack: Drown!
Geoff: [away from mic] Pretty sure he doesn't have the expertise to swim up.
Michael: Got it! Got it.
Ray: He doesn't have the expertise to swim up?
Michael: I got it! Michael's fine.
Geoff: It's... I'm watchin' it happen, Ray.
Michael: You doubt me! You doubt me.
Gavin: Did you not see Titanic?
Michael: He survived. MICHAEL survived!
I will live on!
Fuck you, Rose! Get off this raft, bitch!
Geoff: So, you guys have your X-Ray and Vav shirt?
Ray: Yeah, we do.
Geoff: I have a shirt with a cat reading a book.
Gavin: [laughing] Why do you have...?
Ray: Well, you win.
Gavin: Why'd you weir, weird, wear, what? *blows a breath out*
*Jack chuckles quietly in the back*
Michael: Gavin, you are on your A game today.
Jack: Gavin has lost all ability to talk.
Geoff: Funny story about this shirt, Gavin!
Gavin: Is it though?
Geoff: I bought a different shirt online...
Geoff: ...and they delivered this shirt *Gavin laughs* and I don't remember what the original shirt was so I can't complain.
Michael: Hm. Maybe that IS the shirt you bought.
Geoff: So now I'm just gonna wear a shirt with a cat reading a book.
Ray: I mean, I'm gonna go with a win-win.
*Gavin laughing*
Geoff: I DEFINITELY did not buy a cat reading a book.
Geoff: BUT!
Ray: Are you sure?
Geoff: I'm gonna keep it.
Gavin: That's what I tell people... *laughs*
Geoff: Cuz I'm not smart enough to refute the sale.
Geoff: God damnit, Michael. Your thing is such a fuckin' labyrinth to navigate.
Michael: Oh, yeah.
Geoff: Jesus.
Ray: How much defense does your labyrinth have?
Michael: Ssso many defense. It's got so many hitpoints you wouldn't believe it.
Ray: Correct answer's three thousand.
*Michael snorts*
Gavin: Over three thousand?
Ray: Another che- oh. Nope? What's in THIS chest?
Man.
Gavin: Ohhh, I've got...
Ray: Be great to... okay, I'll take it.
Michael: I still need to find that fuckin'...
Michael: ...chest with gold nuggets in it.
Gavin: Empty chest! That is BULL!
Ray: That's the one I just found.
Geoff: Oh, Gavin found an empty chest.
Ray: It has FIVE gold nuggets in it.
Geoff: You can use that to, you can put stuff in it, Gavin
Jack: What am I gonna do with an empty case?
Geoff: God damnit, are you, are you down s- mining still, Gav, Michael? Or are you upstairs?
Michael: No, I'm down.
Geoff: [very quietly] Where ARE you?
Gavin: Found more obsidious!
Geoff: [muttering quietly] Cannot.
Michael: Just reached some SAND!
Gavin: [mocking Michael] SAEYND!
Michael: Saeynd area!
Ray: Lemme tell ya...!
Geoff: [very quietly] Okay?
Ray: I uh, can't find gold.
*Michael snorts and Geoff laughs*
Ray: That's all I got.
Gavin: How many blocks have you got on the podium, Ray?
Ray: Uhh, two if you count the dirt block.
Gavin: Hmm!
*Geoff muttering quietly*
Ray: One if you don't.
The other one's gold.
I don't use placeholders.
Geoff: I'm not even sure that Michael is still in the game.
*Jack and Michael laughing*
Michael: I'm, I'm right at the room right now! The little room with the chair?
Gavin: The dinner room?
Geoff: Oh, you're in the chair room.
Ray: Michael's actually in the PC version.
Gavin: The door room.
Michael: My diamond pickaxe isss...
Geoff: There you are!
Michael: ...about a quarter or a third of the way gone.
Geoff: Yeah, that'll happen.
Gavin: Good lord! I'm not pickin' anything up I'm an idiot.
Michael: I cannot... at present.
Michael: I only have one... piece of diamond.
Ray: What?
Gavin: There's so many just... blocks of stuff I've just left on the ground.
Michael: I have tons of iron, but...
Gavin: I don't think I can win.
Ray: So pick them up!
Gavin: I might have just lost for myself.
Geoff: How'd you do that?
Gavin: Cuz I've, I've been full inventory for ages and I f- didn't realize.
Geoff: Oh wow-
Michael: That's a sound tactic from Gavin Free!
Jack: Did you lose yourself in the music? The moment?
Ray: Dude. I love, s-, fuckin'...
Gavin: Nice one, Ray!
Ray: Thanks.
Michael: *gasps* Did I get that chest? I think I did.
Ray: Do you not break the chests?
Michael: [very quietly] Yeah, I did.
Ray: It's a free chest!
*Geoff giggling*
Michael: Yeah, I know. Kinda lazy. It just takes forever.
Ray: True.
Jack: Surprisingly, I have not found a lot of lava. Which, I'm, by saying that, I know...
Geoff: Oh, it's there!
Jack: ...I'm jinxing myself.
Ray: Oh, it's definitely there!
Gavin: Yeah, it's all up in there.
Ray: I, I promise you it's there.
Jack and Geoff: Alright.
Geoff: Gavin is having a...
Ray: Goin' up to the surface!
Geoff: He's fuckin'... makin' it rain on himself with blue lapis. Arright.
Michael: Ray is making an announcement, something's gonna happen.
Ray: Geoff! Go to the top to look at my chest situation.
Geoff: Arright.
Ray: I'm like a D cup!
Michael: I, in fact, found so much wood that I think I'm...
Geoff: Wow, Ray! You have got like, yeh...
Michael: ...I might be able to make some torches!
Ray: So the objective is find the chests, right?
Geoff: Well, you found f--
Ray: Oh wait, I got an idea!
Jack: It's guess the chest!
Ray: It's gonna lead me to... victory.
Geoff: That's not gonna help.
*Jack and Geoff laughing*
Ray: Alright, that looks stupid. I don't like that.
Ray: UNH!
Ray: Enh.
Geoff: You don't wanna have a picture of Gavin in front of your house?
Michael: OPE!
Ray: No. Believe it or not.
Michael: Yes! Diamoonnnnd!
Gavin: Why not!?
Ray: UNH!
Geoff: There you go. It's creepy spiders.
Ray: No... it can't be bugs.
Ray: I mean... UNH!
Geoff: You are just... throwin' away the victory, my friend!
Ray: I'm not wastin' time, this is all for... Nope. Dude. Lemme...
Ray: Do you see all the chests I have!?
Geoff: I see 'em.
Ray: 'Kay, nope.
Geoff: Nope.
Ray: Nope.
Geoff: Arright, he's puttin' the same goddamn things up.
Michael: Ray, what the hell are you doing?
Geoff: He's tryin' to get the Kung Fu House...
Ray: BOOM!
Geoff: Arright, there you go.
That's good.
Ray: Can I even get in my house?
Geoff: Yeah, you can walk through.
Ray: Yeah, I can.
Ray: OW! Cactus, you fuck!
Gavin: *laughing* Did you put Kung Fu over the door?
Ray and Geoff: Nah.
Geoff: I'm surprised you guys only used one entry point...
Geoff:...and you didn't just like... mine wildly down all the way.
Ray: Didn't I use a few? Oh, that was the last time before we lost power.
Geoff: Jack got the closest.
Ray: I mean, what?
Michael: NOO! My fuckin' five gold nuggets!
Ray: There you go!
Gavin: Is that all you need?
Michael: I mean, I needed them?
Ray: [singing The Twelve Days of Christmas] Fiiiive goldennn nuggets!
Geoff: It's not fun or exciting what Jack's doing but it isss... uhhh...
Ray: *scoffs* Shocking.
*Gavin laughing*
Geoff: Well.
Jack: Oh.
Geoff: It's methodical and uh...
Jack: I'm, I'm not saying it's fun and exciting but it's...
Gavin: It's mythical?
Jack: ...it gets the work done.
Gavin: Jack is a mythical creature.
Geoff: He's not gonna miss anything, that's for sure.
Ray: He's gettin' bitches?
Gavin: Am I allowed, Geoff, am I allowed to go to the nether...
Geoff: Nope, I'll fly right above you.
Gavin: ...kill zombie pigmen for gold nuggets and then come back and build it?
Geoff: Uhhh... yeah if you can, if you can, if you can find enough obsidian.
Ray: I say yes, if he can manage that!
Ray: I won't even be mad!
Geoff: Or make obsidian.
Gavin: Yeah, I...
Ray: I ain't even mad.
Gavin: ...I got tons of obsidian.
Ray: Okay.
Ray: That was a mistake, gonna... uh oh.
Havin' some issues here.
Geoff: How's it goin' there, Gavin?
Gavin: Uhh, not great! Not great. Only got two blocks on the podium.
Geoff: Well, you're only one behind Michael.
Ray: That's alright.
Gavin: Have not found... no.
Ray: No, he means two blocks overall. Me 'n Gavin are tied.
Geoff: Oh, I see.
No, you have two gold blocks on the podium, don't you, Gavin?
I, I watched you put a second one up!
Gavin: Yeh!
Geoff: Yeah, he's ahead of you, Ray. You're fuckin'...
Ray: Alright!
Geoff: Affirmative action is NOT helping you out in this video.
Ray: Geoff! I won the tower the last two times, I'm, you know, I'll give it away.
Geoff: Is that what it is? You're takin' it easy?
Ray: Aah, you know, I'm takin' it easy.
Jack: I don't like how quiet Michael's being right now.
Michael: I'm just fuckin' punchin' shit.
Ray: More wood!
Geoff: Michael is just punchin' shit. He is...
Gavin: [singing] Just a couple of nugs! Having a biscuit!
Geoff: I don't...
*Geoff wheezing*
Geoff: Okay.
Ray: Is that what nugs do?
Geoff: I don't remember...
Gavin: Neuugh!
Geoff: ... to be totally honest with you, Michael.
*Gavin making various sex noises to escape the lava*
Geoff: Ohh! Gavin found some LAVA.
Ohhh, Michael!
Gavin: [very quietly] Teeeease it...
Geoff: Found himself a chest.
Michael: Ooh!
Geoff: What'd you get in there?
Michael: Some gold nuggets!
Ray: [singing] Diiiiggin'. Diggin' diggy doo. Diggin' in the hole!
Geoff: Nice! How many?
Michael: Three.
Ray: [singing] Diiiiggin'. Diggin' diggy doo. Diggin' in the hole!
Geoff: What!
Michael: That makes another gold ore!
Geoff: Michael just made another gold ore.
Michael: Or no, there... yeah. Ore.
Ray: Yeah, gold ore.
Gavin: Ore what?
Geoff: Or a... nougat.
Ray: Block.
Michael: Whatever!
Ray: Same shit.
Jack: Nugent.
Gavin: Teeeeedddd Nugent.
Michael: Michael has, at current...
*Gavin laughs*
Michael: One gold ingot and THREE gold ores.
Gavin and Geoff: Ore what?
*Geoff giggling*
Michael: Yep.
Ray: ORE WHAT!?  HA HA HA HA!
*Gavin cracks up*
Geoff: So, if I miscounted and fucked up and there's not enough gold to actually win...
*Gavin laughs*
*Geoff laughs*
Michael: Yeh!
Geoff: I'll call it and you guys can build uhh... *Michael snorts* ...stairs to each other to k- to fight.
*everyone laughs*
Michael: Are you serious?
Gavin: That'd be fun!
Ray: Game changer!
Michael: I really hope there's a-
Gavin: WAAUUUUGHH!
Gavin: Okay, that's all obsidian now!
Ray: I'm gonna make a diamond sword, BRB.
Geoff: Gavin, I WANT to go check out what you've got goin' on.
Michael: Gavin's GONNA go to the nether and win!
Geoff: That sounded FUN.
Gavin: If it's down 'ere... [decisively] If it's in the cube... you can jube.
*Geoff giggling*
Ray: Is that...
Michael: That doesn't make sense.
Geoff: [croaking] Oh, Gavin.
Michael: Alright.
Gavin: Why didn't we call this... [deep voice] "GAME CUBE"?
*Geoff giggling*
Ray: [matter-of-fact] Cuz that's copyrighted.
Michael: [laughing] Nice, Ray.
Good answer!
Jack: You know what? While I'm up here...
Ray: Why'd you have to say it like that?
Ray: [imitating Gavin] GAAAAME CUBE!
Gavin: Ooop! GAME CUBE!
Ray: What's your favorite GameCube game?
Gavin: UHHH! Super Smash Bros. Melee.
Ray: Correct answer's Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg.
Gavin: You're an idiot!
Michael: Are you serious?
Ray: That game was... okay.
Geoff: Uhhhhhhhhh...
*Geoff makes 'fff' noises for the next 12 seconds*
Gavin: I also like...
Michael: Smash Bros. IS amazing.
Ray: It is.
Gavin: ...Die Hard: Vendetta. *laughs*
Ray: *laughs* That game actually did look fun.
Gavin: You could shoot people with a crossbow and the arrows would stay in their head.
Ray: Speakin' of which! Uhh... the fuckin' new Die Hard movie's out, has anybody seen it yet?
Jack: Is it out?
Michael: Is it out already?
*Geoff's fff noise comes to an end*
Ray: Well, I mean, y'know. Comes out...
Geoff: It comes out... uh. It comes out Wednesday
Michael: Well then I guess we couldn't have seen it already, Ray!
Ray: You're breakin' the fourth wall!
Michael: I'm not breakin' the fourth wall, I'm just talkin' to you!
Geoff: PLEASE don't break any walls, I have to replace the glass.
Geoff: It's annoying.
Gavin: Nice one, Geoff!
Ray: So, I want to see that, who wants to go with me?
*Gavin laughing*
Michael: I'll see it!
Geoff: Uh, yeah!
Ray: Cool, let's do it.
Geoff: Gavin and I can't see it.
Ray: AYYY! I found the record!
Michael: Nice. Ray, where is it?
Geoff: Gavin and I have to wait until Griffon gets back in two weeks to see it.
Ray: It's... it's... y'know.
Michael: [gritting his teeth] RAY, WHERE IS IT!?
Ray: Hey, Geoff, can I redeem my fuckin' record for a golden ore?
Michael: Don't be a Jack!
Geoff: A golden ore what? That you fe- that you burnt?
Ray: That- the one that fell in lava.
Michael: Oh, that's right, he actually did.
Geoff: Yeah! Yeah, you can do that. Lemme come up to you.
Ray: Ah, I'm goin' up to the surface.
Gavin: I might drown!
Gavin: I MIGHT DROWN!
Michael: Please drown.
Gavin: What is this? Is this obsidian? I'm stuck under obsidian!
Ray: You're gonna drown on peaceful?
Michael: [singsonging] Oh, another gold ore!
Gavin: Huh!
Michael: [singsonging] Oh, another gold ore!
Gavin: Huahhfuh fuuuhh!
Geeeee-BUS!
[happy] Oh, gold!
Geoff: Alright...
Ray: Well, there's the... record.
That's uhhh... dirt, Geoff.
Geoff: That is dirt.
Gavin: Jack is being quiet for at least seven minutes.
Geoff: Boop.
Ray: Okay.
Ray: Uhp, I got sixty four dirt. Just gonna throw that in the chest.
Gavin: What is goin' on?
Jack: I'm... I'm... I'm...
Jack: Doin' a little diggy-down.
Ray: In THIS chest.
Geoff: It's my gift to you.
Ray: The dumb one.
Gavin: Have you built stairs yet, Jack?
Jack: Not yet.
Jack: I was thinkin' about it though.
Ray: YAAAY!
Gavin: Ray! I've noticed that... any one that involves building...
Ray: Havin' a good time though.
Gavin: Or...
Stuff...
You don't win.
Ray: Well, this has a lot of luck involved.
Gavin: Does it though?
Geoff: Does it?
Ray: Yeah.
Michael: Yeah! I would say a fair amount of luck, Gavin.
Gavin: So, first one to build a Tower of Pimps, episode six or whatever...
Ray: Yeah?
Geoff: I'm gonna agree with Gavin, Jack's been PRETTY quiet for a while. I should go check on 'im.
Gavin: Aww, thanks for agreein' with me, Geoff.
Ray: I AGREE WITH YOU TOO, GAVIN!
Gavin: Thanks, Ray!
Michael: Fuck you, Gavin.
Geoff: Why would you suck up to Gavin?
Jack: What is that?
Michael: Yeah, I know, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Jack: What IS that?
Ray: Cuz he's...
Jack: Is that... is that yellow wool?
Ray: ...he's the other half of... X-Ray and Vav.
Gavin: Oh my god, look at Jack's one!
Gavin: Jack's opening his cube up.
Geoff: Yellow wool? You were just looking at dirt.
Gavin: JACK! Look through the window!
Jack: It looked like yellow on my thing!
Geoff: Oh, really?
Gavin: Jack! Jack! Jack!
Gavin: Hiii! Hiya!
Jack: Eyyy, Gavin! Hey, buddy!
Gavin: I can't, I can't jump. There we go.
Ray: Well, you're white.
Gavin: Hiii!
*Michael snorts and Geoff cracks up*
Gavin: Wuh-huh.
Michael: Valid point, Ray. Valid point.
Ray: There was a movie about it.
Ray: You can't say I'm racist if there was a movie about it.
Gavin: Is that getting cut? Or...
Geoff: Jack is thorough as hell.
Jack: So, Michael's pretty damn close, right?
Michael: Michael IS pretty close.
Ray: Yeah, he's one block away.
Gavin: How many d'you need, Michael?
Michael: Some would say...
Michael: Michael might have... eight gold ores.
Jack: [whispering] Shit.
Gavin: Ffffff...
Ray: Did you find them?
Geoff: Do you really?
Michael: Well, I have four ores and four ingots.
Gavin: Ore what?
Ray: So, yeah.
Jack: So, no you don't.
Ray: So, if he finds a record can he request one?
*Jack laughs*
Michael: Lemme just walk on upstairs.
Jack: No, I already asked that, Ray.
Cuz I, I have a record and I would love a gold block or whatever.
Ray: Ah, I guess that's a good point.
Geoff: No, you can't do that.
Michael: [determined whispering] He is one gold ore away.
Ray: Arright.
Gavin: [making the same voice] Tease it.
Michael: [whispering] Ohhhh.
I have eight ingots!
Geoff: Ohhh! Jack just found a little present!
Ray: Did he? Did a dog shit in, like, his yard?
Geoff: [laughing] That's not a present.
*Gavin laughs*
Geoff: Your people have weird ideas of presents.
Ray: Well, y'know.
Geoff: Ohhh, Jack.
This is the point where I start to worry:
Did I put enough in there?
Geoff: I knew it was gonna come to this moment.
Gavin: Jack's got three!
Gavin: JACK'S GOT THREE!
Ray: Uh oh.
Michael: Jack's got the gold blocks.
Geoff: Jack's on three!
Jack: Oooh.
Ray: I'm in uhhhh... y'know.
Gavin: I'm in a big dick.
Ray: Diggin' out gravel.
Michael: We're all tied up, Jack!
Jack: Alright, Michael. You and me, we're gonna do this.
Gavin: You and I?
Jack: Good luck to you, Michael. I hope, I hope you do well.
*Michael snorts*
Michael: Good luck, Jack. I hope I win.
Gavin: I like it when Jack is a fake good sport.
Ray: GO RYAN!
Jack: What're you talkin' about? I'm a great sport!
Michael: Yeah.
*Michael snorts*
Ray: I mean... what's your FAVORITE sport?
Gavin: Suckin' butts.
Geoff: Frolf.
Jack: Hockey?
[dumb sarcasm voice] Hurhurhur!
*snorting and giggling*
Ray: More like COCKey, am I right?
Seriously though, who cares about hockey?
Jack: So, Geoff. Are... there's no hints at all. Like you didn't put certain blocks in certain areas...?
Geoff: Oh, I absolutely did.
Jack: Oh, you did! So like-
Gavin: What kinda question's that!?
Jack: Well! I mean like there's like-
Geoff: I mean I, I-
Ray: Geoff! If you were a gold block, where would you be!?
*Michael cracks up*
Geoff: Every single block was placed intentionally.
Jack: B-but, I, no I mean like, so like, there's an obsidian block right here...
Geoff: Yeah.
Jack: Like that's not like a hint that there is a gold block on this level or something like that?
Michael: Maybe!
Geoff: I have not, no. I didn't say like every time you're near obsidian...
Michael: Oh, god.
Geoff: But I DID group stuff together.
Jack: Okay.
Ray: Yeah, you grouped a lot of gravel together!
Geoff: Yeah! Like... exactly!
*Gavin laughs*
Michael: You sure did!
Geoff: Like right now, Jack, you're on the dirt group.
*Jack chuckles tiredly*
Ray: I have a dirt block up there. I have two, actually.
Jack: [singing Somewhere Out There by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram] Soooomewhere up there.
*Geoff laughs*
Jack: Thank you, thank you.
Ray: What'm I doing with my life?
Jack: Kids of the 80s, enjoy.
Geoff: Yeah.
Jack: Michael, how many gold block- did you find two solid gold blocks?
Michael: Mm-hm.
Gavin: [singing Hey Goldmember by Beyonce] It's solid gold.
Ray: Oh, there's two?
Ray: FUCK! I haven't found either of 'em!
Geoff: Yup.
Michael: There it is.
Geoff: Wow, Ray, you're havin' a bad time.
Ray: On a scale from one to ten, I suck.
Geoff: So if you found the two- if you were to find the two solid gold blocks, Ray...
Ray: That's a ten, by the way.
Geoff: ...you'd be in the same position as those guys.
Ray: I would!
Geoff: Well, you're NOT.
Ray: Yeah, I mean...
Michael: And you DIDN'T!
Ray: Luck is just...
Ray: ...not on my side.
Geoff: Alright.
Geoff: Goin' to... goin' to check out...
Ray: What am I DOIN'? It's gravel.
Jack: It's tough to see when it's dark like this.
Ray: Build torches!
Geoff: There SHOULD be enough to build torches.
Geoff: Oooh. Ray, hanging out at bedrock.
Ray: It's definitely helpful.
Geoff: Probably a... probably a good idea. I dunno.
Jack: Uhp! I'm startin' to get some lag.
Geoff: Can't remember... honestly.
Jack: Oooh.
*Gavin chuckles quietly*
Michael: Dispersing some water that I'd made!
Ray: I will say there hasn't been any lag, which is good.
Michael: ...By accident.
Ray: Still no system link though!
Geoff: Ray knocked his own torch out.
Ray: Aah, rookie mistake.
Geoff: That was brilliant.
Ray: I remember when I started playing games.
Gavin: There is absolutely nothing in here, it turns out.
Geoff: In where?
Ray: There's mushrooms, though!
Geoff: Where are you, Gavin?
*Gavin laughs*
Geoff: Did you go to the nether!?
*Gavin continues laughing*
*Jack laughs*
Michael: He made it!
Jack: [laughing] Dumbass.
Geoff: Did you really!?
Ray: That's funny.
Gavin: So uh, I forgot we're on peaceful... [laughing] no zombie pigmen!
*Everyone cracks up*
Ray: That's a good point!
*More laughter*
Michael: Yeah, I think everybody overlooked that fact, Gavin!
Gavin: Well, that was a waste of time!
Geoff: Yeahp, mighta been.
Gavin: Oookay.
Michael: That's fuckin' hilarious.
*Gavin laughs*
Damnit.
Jack: Jesus.
Gavin: I tried to be a little sneaky little jeb piece.
Michael: Dude! That would've been a clever move if you weren't...
Ray: Yeh.
Michael: ...an idiot.
*Gavin laughs*
Gavin: That's... often how I feel about the decisions I make.
*Ray and Geoff laughing*
Ray: [speaking for Gavin] "I would've been a fucking genius if, y'know, I wasn't me."
*Gavin chuckles*
Gavin: What do they say about the uh, like, geniuses and retards, they're the same thing or something?
Gavin: What is it?
Michael: Hmmmmm.
*Jack laughing*
Ray: Absolutely! They're actually twins.
Michael: Okay?
*Geoff squeaking silently with laughter*
*Jack cracks up*
Ray: Do geniuses like werewolves?
*Geoff squeaks again* Ohhhh!
Jack: Yes, that's PRECISELY what they say, Gavin.
Gavin: That was a quote at some point.
Geoff: Ohhhhhh...
Jack: Yeah, that's gonna go on a shirt.
*Jack and Gavin laugh and Geoff moans again*
Ray: Dude, "People Like Grapes", when is that shirt comin' out?
*Gavin chuckles*
Michael: Oh, fuck!
Geoff: Hm.
Geoff: Gotta be honest, watchin' Ray's kinda boring.
Michael: I am just...
Geoff: He's just standin' at the wall.
Ray: Yeah well, y'know.
Jack: Really?
Gavin: What are you doin', Ray?
Jack: Watchin' Ray? Have you not watched me, Geoff? C'mon now.
Gavin: I, I think Ray is the quickest to give up of anyone I know.
Geoff: Yeah.
Ray: I didn't give up, I'm still lookin'!
Jack: I could do- I could stand to have one more diamond.
Michael: [whispering] Damnit!
Jack: If I had a diamond, like... diamond hoe? That'd be...
Michael: Geoff, you TEASE me!
Michael: You're holding a gold block! Get out of my face!
Ray: Yeah, he did that to me too.
Geoff: Oh, am I holding a gold block?
Michael: Yeah!
*Jack laughs*
Geoff: Am I holding a gold block now?
Michael: Well, you were holding gold ore, sorry.
Geoff: Okay, what am I holding now?
Gavin: Full gold?
Michael: Now you're holding food.
Geoff: Arright, that's better.
Gavin: That's more elaborate, Geoff.
Michael: I'm like why are you rubbin' it in my face, Geoff?
Ray: You win and you eat.
Jack: I'm wondering if going, I'm like, I'm really really deep. I wonder if that's...
Michael: [deep, creepy voice] Oh yeah, I'm really deep.
*Geoff laughing*
Ray: True love is elbow deep.
Gavin: [also doing the deep voice] Ohhhhh.
Jack: Jesus Christ.
Geoff: Alright, Ray!
Gavin: True love is what?
Ray and Michael: Elbow deep.
Geoff: Kurt's gonna be a lucky man.
Ray: Yeah she is... he is.
What?
Michael: It.
Ray: It is.
Michael: Ohhh boy.
Jack: Ooh, lookie there.
Michael: Damnit!
Jack: Oh, goddamnit.
Found fuckin' roses.
Ray: Ope!
*Jack laughs wheezily*
Ray: Oh, is that a bad thing?
Jack: Yes?
When you're lookin' for gold finding roses is not exactly exciting.
Ray: I think you... found something better.
Geoff: [singing] Red roses hung above our head in a tangled mess.
Gavin: I made a middle finger out of gravel that's pointing at Ray.
Ray: That's a little rude.
Michael: That's EXTREMELY rude!
Geoff: Whoa, Gavin is almost...
Oh, there's your *laughing* fuckin' portal.
*Geoff and Gavin laughing*
Ray: Did you make it on the uh, on the top?
Gavin: Nah.
Geoff: He made it on the bedrock.
Gavin: I debated makin' another one inside the nether so I came out somewhere else.
Ray: That woulda been interesting.
Gavin: But uh...
Gavin: I wouldn't end up in one of yours, I would probably just end up elsewhere in Achievement City.
Ray: Probably end up at Jack's house.
Jack: Probably.
Ray: Oh, we weren't supposed to come here?
*Jack wheezes and Geoff chuckles*
Michael: Come on...
Jack: That's a funny reference to something.
Michael: Break!
Geoff: Yeah, that's a lost reference to... that no one will ever see.
Ray: It's... inside joke.
Ray: Shout out to Power.
Jack: I love that show.
Michael: [laughing] Shout out to Power.
Gavin: WAH! Ff shh...
Geoff: [laughing] What's up, dude?
Gavin: Fff, yeah, you scared the dick outta me.
Geoff: Sorry?
Michael: Dude, I am fuckin' deep in an underwater... tomb.
And I think I might be flooding my entire thing right now.
Gavin: Michael Croft!
Michael: [snorting] Hyeah! Somethin' like that.
*Geoff chuckling*
Gavin: It's gonna be...
Ray: Eyyy!
Gavin: What?
Ray: Oh UHH! OHH!
Jack: Heh!
Ray: Good? We're fine? Okay?
Jack: Geoff, your phone's ringin'.
Ray: Eyyy, 'nother gold block! I have two! Wow.
That's a "fuck you" sign to me, isn't it?
Hm.
Michael: What?
Ray: Gavin's...
Ray: ...square finger.
Geoff: Oh yeah, Gavin flipped Ray off.
*Gavin chuckles*
Ray: Feels good to have two gold blocks.
Geoff: [giggling] Does it?
Ray: Yeah!
Geoff: Everybody's uhhh got two now!
Ray: So, I've been using this method, the torch method, to get rid of gravel a little bit faster?
Geoff: Yeah.
Ray: Kinda helpin', still a lot of gravel though!
Geoff: Yeah, there is a lot of gravel.
Jack: There's a LOT of gravel.
Gavin: Aw, that's a good shout, Ray!
Ray: [singing Shout by the Isley Brothers] You know you make me wanna shout!
*Gavin wails loudly to the song*
Michael: [monotone] Throw your hands up and.
Ray: Shout!
Gavin: Does anyone like it when Jack wins the Tower of Pimps?
Jack: What, it's, it's happened ONE TIME!
*Jack laughing*
Gavin: Did they like it!?
*Michael laughing*
Ray: HO-OHHH!
Michael: Ray found somethin'.
Gavin: Michael Jackson's back!
Ray: Where're your kids?
Michael: Hide 'em!
*Geoff wheezes*
Ray: I'm Michael Jackson, I touch kids, that's a joke.
Michael: Not neeyom- not anymore though.
Geoff: ALLEGEDLY.
Ray: Allegedly.
Jack: Arright Geoff, this is what we're doin'.
Michael: Definitely.
Gavin: Was he ever found guilty of kiddly fiddlin'?
*Ray wheezing and Gavin laughing*
Michael: He was not.
Geoff: [singing] Do not diddle kids!
*Gavin and Geoff laughing*
Ray: Fuck!
Geoff: [singing] Do not diddle kids.
Ray: EYY! 'NOTHER GOLD BLOCK!
I have three!
Michael: Ffffuck, Ray is Rayin' it.
Ray: Three-way tie!
Michael: So the only one who's definitely NOT gonna win is Gavin!
Ray: Gavin, you suck shit!
Gavin: What's up? What!?
Michael: Ray's got his third gold block!
Ray: I've got my third gold block.
Gavin: AUGH, WOT!
*Ray and Jack snorting*
Michael: Really?
Ray: That was...
Gavin: I've got four nuggets!
Ray: Oh, do you?
Gavin: And it looks like a cave had a period down here.
*Geoff wheezing and then laughing*
Michael: This is so FUCKING FRUSTRATING!!!
Geoff: Yeeesss, yes yes.
*Jack laughing*
Michael: No no, no! Oh, god.
Geoff: Suddenly the let's play gets interesting for Geoff!
Jack: [laughing] Let the hate flow through you.
Ray: [trying to make sense of it] The cave... had a period.
Gavin: Yeh, it had a woman's mess.
Ray: [giggling] Don't you hate when that happens?
Ray: Y'know what, I'm gonna do a little more decorating.
Michael: Who cares if you die?
Geoff: Grabbed coal... somewhere.
Jack: I think I found it.
Ray: Here we go!
Geoff: Might've already found it.
Jack: Yeah.
Ray: Put the jukebox right there.
Michael: Ah, I found a jukebox!
Ray: Looks stylish!
Geoff: Oh, you found the jukebox you can uh...
Geoff: ...get the record out.
Ray: Do I have another dirt block?
Gavin: You placed it down, didn't it.
Michael: Hey Geoff, I'm pretty sure I lost a gold ore before?
Ray: Oh, yeah I do!
*Geoff chuckling away from mic*
Ray: Dude, Geoff, I am decorating, look at this!
Gavin: I-
Michael: Well!
Geoff: That's nice, Ray.
Ray: Fuckin' pimp.
Gavin: ARRIGHT!
Gavin: Someone tell me where the gold block is...
...the other one, where is it?
Ray: Fuckin' up your butt and around the corner!
Gavin: DamnIT RAY!
Ray: [laughing nerdily] Nuh huh huh!
Gavin: You are not helpin' me!
Ray: Have you checked, though? Seriously.
Gavin: Hang on. *makes a fart noise*
Ray: Good noise.
Gavin: Nope, it wasn't there.
Ray: I'm competing now!
Gavin, you suck though, seriously.
Michael: Yeah, Gavin's like not even in it right now.
We're ALL competing.
Gavin: [whining] Well!
I WANNA BE IN IT!
*Ray wheezing*
Gavin: I'm not slackin' off!
Gavin: Well, I went to-
Ray: I mean, you ARE trying.
Gavin: I spent about twenty minutes-
Ray: -this whole time you spent-
Michael: He went to the NETHER!
Gavin: Spent twenty minutes trying to build a portal, but other than that!
*Jack laughing*
Gavin: GOOOOOOLLLLLLD!
Ray: Really?
Geoff: Hey, did you find some gold, Gavin?
Gavin: I did!
*laughing* How did you know?
Mental.
Psychic.
Ray: ESPN.
*Michael and Geoff laughing*
Gavin: I don't get it.
Ray: It's a good channel.
Geoff: OHH! All of Jack's hard work just paid off!
Ray: Did it!?
Geoff: Eyuuup!
Gavin: Why?
Jack: God damnit, am I full? Shit.
Michael: Jack probably is gonna WIN!!!
Ray: Not unless Ray finds some...! Fff- cobblestone!
Geoff: [quietly] Ohh, in'treshting.
Gavin: [singing the call part of Shout] Hee-ee-ee-eey!
Ray: [responding] Ee-ee-ee-eey!
Gavin: [continuing but quickly losing steam] Ehh-en-mmph.
*Geoff laughing and mumbling like Gavin*
Ray: Do you wanna do laundry now, Gavin? Or...
Jack: [sighing] Alright.
Gavin: Doin' laundry?
Ray: Yeah!
Gavin: I don't get it!
Ray: Shout.
Gavin: What?
Ray: Don't you shout when you do laundry?
Gavin: SHUT UP!
*Michael wheezing*
Michael: Do you?
Ray: Holy shit I just fuckin' fell.
Ray: Do I? No, I use Tide. I'm not an asshole.
*Geoff groaning*
Gavin: So, uh, apparently I tried to eat a Bounty the other day and Geoff said that it was paper or somethin'.
Ray: Eat a Bounty?
Gavin: Yeh.
Michael: Bounty paper towel?
Ray: Yeah, like a, oh.
Geoff: It's a paper towel.
Gavin: So what do you call the, the delicious coconut chocolate bar?
Ray: Almond Joy?
Michael: You just made that up.
Geoff: ...three ingots.
Gavin: ARM of joy? What?
Ray: ALmond Joy.
Gavin: [stupidly] ALM!?
OUAT?
*giggling*
Michael: Yep.
Ray: Absolutely.
Geoff: That's it!
Ray: That's what I call it!
Michael: NOOO! Flooded myself!
Gavin: Man, I'm, I'm mining away and I'm peekin' up at Ray's smeggy three-block tower.
Gavin: It's making ME ANNOYED!
Geoff: I can't...
Gavin: RRRR!!!
Geoff: ...fucking believe...
Ray: Guess we know I'm the better member of X-Ray and Vav.
Geoff: ...how much Jack has mined to not have finished this yet.
Jack: Dude, this is driving me kinda crazy.
Geoff: I can't go inside Michael's anymore because it's- hurts my brain.
*Michael and Gavin snort*
Ray: Does it?
Michael: Geoff! You don't wanna look in here now cuz I just flooded it even worse.
*Gavin laughs*
Ray: Yeah, I'm startin' to have flood issues.
Michael: Ohh my god, I almost fell in lava.
Ray: I'll admit, I was kind of afraid that...
Ray: ...since we played it already, like, oh, this'll be quick because we kinda know where shit is?
Geoff: No.
Michael: Nope!
Jack: No, not at all.
Ray: It's eh, I can guarantee you...
Ray: ...it's just as long.
Michael: Is Jack winning right now?
Gavin: Uh, it's good-
Geoff: I think Jack might take it.
Geoff: You're way ahead of him, you've got eight ingots and he's got four...
Buuutttt...
Michael: Is he findin' 'em left and right?
Jack: Five, Geoff.
Geoff: Five.
Geoff: I don't know that you're lll-
Jack: Six, Geoff.
Geoff: I don't know where you are, Michael. I don't know where you're digging.
Where are you.
Ray: Michael, now would be a good time to build a bridge to Jack.
Michael: Naaah.
Ray: And just wait for him at the top.
Gavin: You know, if you replace the words "shake it" with "take it", like a Polaroid picture, it'll still make sense.
Jack: [quietly] What!?
Ray: Would it though?
Gavin: What?
Ray: Take it like a Polaroid picture would just be like alright, stand still.
Gavin: Would it?
Ray: Andre 3000 was movin', that's why he said "shake it".
Geoff: It's true.
Gavin: Huh!
Ray: [singing Hey Ya by Outkast] Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright ar-
*Gavin laughs and makes Ray laugh*
Michael: There's so much fucking GRAVEL!
Geoff: Are they...
Geoff: ..ever gonna p- make another album?
Ray: Outkast?
Geoff: Yeh...
Gavin: Didn't you meet that guy once, Geoff, or see him or something?
Geoff: Ah, Andre 3000?
Gavin: Yeah.
Geoff: I WALKED next to him one day.
Ray: Is his hair always straight?
Geoff: Becka and I did, and we were both like *nervous high-pitched laughter*
Ray: What's Big Boi doin' these days?
Ray: Is he still big?
Geoff: Big Boi? Just put out a new album. It's fuckin' huge.
Ray: Oh.
Geoff: Yeah. Big Boi is uh, Big Boi is bigger than uh Andre 3000. He's-
Ray: Like his dick?
Michael: He's big?
Ray: Really!?
Geoff: Yeah.
His last two albums have been like, tremendously successful.
Ray: Huh.
Geoff: Ohhh, Jack.
Good lord, sir.
Michael: HOW DO I KEEP FLOODING THIS WORSE!?
Michael: HOW!?
Geoff: Gooood lord, Jack!
Ray: Is Jack there?
Geoff: Jack has six or seven ingots now.
Gavin: Jack is sprinting.
Ray: Y'know what's funny? I keep finding fuckin' diamond now, like...
Michael: I KEEP FLOODING MYSELF!
Ray: That's not-
Gavin: Look at Michael's-! *cackling*
*Michael grunting*
Gavin: Michael, you are a moron.
Ray: I will admit, I screen-looked but all I saw was H2O.
Michael: [to Gavin] I'm beatin' YOUR ass.
Michael: [laughing] Yeah, I'm okay with the screen-looking there, Ray.
Gavin: Plenty of dihydrogen oxide, there.
Michael: Whoap! Broke my fuckin' pickaxe!
Jack: [stage whispering] Geoff!
Jack: [whispering louder] Geoff!
Ray: More like dickaxe.
Geoff: Uh-oh. Jack's at the roof.
Michael: Uhp, I think Jack has s-, Jack has done it.
Jack: Shit.
Geoff: He's whisperin'.
Gavin: What's he doin'!?
Jack's climbin'!
J-!
Michael: Yeah, he's got it.
Geoff: Ohhhhh!
Gavin: NO!
Michael: [sighing] I cannot...
Geoff: Ohhhh my gooodddddd...
Gavin: NO!
Jack: There are three there already...
Gavin: NOO!
Michael: NICE!
Gavin: [wailing loudly] NOOO!!!
Michael: Jack's gonna take it! I missed it by one gold block!
Gavin: NOOOOO!!!
Geoff: OHHHHHHH!!!
Michael: Jack's gonna take it! I missed it by one gold block!
Jack: TOWER OF PIMPS! Tower of Pimps!
Geoff: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Gavin: Oh no!
Michael: Jack has won!
Jack: Tower of Pimps! Woooooo!
Geoff: Ohhh! Jack Patillo, as the sun sets on Achievement City...
Michael: [sighing] God!
Geoff: ...is the victor!
Geoff: For only the second time in his life he's won something!
Ray: I got so excited that-
Jack: Eyyy!
Gavin: So, wait wait wait!
Michael: One block!
Ray: I got so excited I found a chest, it's the chest I set up earlier.
*Jack laughs*
Ray: I look inside, I'm like "Man, I got a lot of shit!" I'm like wait.
*Geoff giggling*
Jack: Is someone tryin' to set me on fire?
Geoff: Yeah. Gavin.
Jack: Nice.
Geoff: Michael, I wanted to, I wanted to help you so badly.
Michael: Yeah.
*Jack laughing*
Geoff: You had, uh...
Michael: Was it showing?
Geoff: There was...
Geoff: No. I'm pretty sure... I was watchin' Jack...
...and you guys were doing very similar stuff.
Y-y-y-, I'm pretty... positive there's uh...
...iron or there's gold ore uh one block above the bedrock you haven't found yet?
Michael: Oh, really?
Geoff: AND...
Geoff: ...one block below the pink.
*Jack crying quietly from the fire*
Michael: AAHHHG! Really!
Geoff: Yeah.
Michael: I think I, I think I did find that one below the pink though.
Gavin: Hmm.
Geoff: No, there were two. One, t-two right below the pink.
Ray: [everyone else's audio fades away] Well!
I'm proud of you, buddy!
You got a...
Tied for second.
I mean things were uh, things were lookin' bad for a bit...
*Gavin in the background yelling "It's Dig DOWN, not Dig Up!"*
...but I mean uh, y'know!
Take a second.
Had it for two weeks in a row, so.
Y'know, y'gotta share it, I guess.
*Gavin in the background again "I'M ANNOYED!"*
Y'know what?
Let's uh, let's get rid of this.
This isn't pretty at all.
This is actually QUITE ugly.
Let's fix it.
It's perfect.
Gavin: Alright, shall we all venture to Achievement City so Jack can erect his towah?
Geoff: Yeah!
Jack: That works.
Gavin: Let's go!
Jack: That was fun, dude.
Geoff: I think that mighta been one of the...
Gavin: That one was...
Michael: Fuck!
Geoff: ...the more enjoyable to WATCH.
Michael: So, you said it's one BELOW the pink, or what?
Geoff: I'm not gonna say it.
Ray: No, he doesn't wanna say it.
Gavin: There's two, there's two in the pink... and one in the stink.
Jack: No, there was, there was, there were like three in the pink!
*Michael and Ray wheezing*
Geoff: Maybe it was three.
Gavin: Wow, really?
Ray: Did ONE go in the stink?
Bitch has a big pink!
Geoff: I'll tell ya why!
*Gavin giggling*
Geoff: Cuz...
I got to the top faster than I thought I would and it was like...
Ray: Gavin, I'm gonna do a sweet jump, look to your right!
Geoff: "Oh, shit. I still have to put a lot of gold down!"
*Jack laughing*
Gavin: I don't know why I didn't think of that!
Ray: Gavin, look to your right!
Gavin! Gavin!
Gavin: Hey, Ray! Aw, sweet jump, Ray!
Ray: Wheeeeee!
Gavin: Ooh, wow.
Geoff: I kinda wanna leave yours, dude. *laughs* You've just got the rose on it.
Ray: Just the way it is? Oh, you can, I mean, I don't care.
Michael: Geoff!
Geoff!
Geoff!
Gavin: Yeah, leave, leave Ray's how he left it.
Geoff: Hey! You found it!
Michael: Up top. Yep.
Fuckin' like one level below the pink.
Geoff: Oh, Michael.
*Gavin laughs*
Michael: God damnit.
Michael: [shouting away from mic] FUCK!
GOD DAMNIT!
Gavin: Michael you had...
Ray: That's a good idea actually, I didn't think about shears.
Michael: I had it!
Gavin: You had an ASTONISHING lead!
Michael: Yeah. I spent ssssso much time down in the water when all I had to do was come up and hit that?
God damnit.
Jack: Alright!
Jack: [not very enthusiastic] Yaaaaay!
Gavin: [even less enthusiastic] Yaaaay.
Jack: Ray.
It was nice on your dirt block, but I'm gonna take it from you.
Ray: Yeah, well.
Michael: JACK taking the tower from RAY!
Ray: Good luck.
Michael: That's rare!
Geoff: The second time.
Gavin: Watch out for your ankles, Ray!
Jack: Ray, Ray here you go. I feel bad...
Sir?
There you go.
Geoff: Awww.
Jack: That's for you.
Jack: Alright, over here.
Ray: >:(
*Gavin and Jack laughing for different reasons*
Jack: Michael is on top of my chimney.
Michael: Duhhh duh duhhhhh!
The opening ceremony begins!
Gavin: It's Mogar atop the burnhouse!
Jack: Alright, here we go. One, two, three, four! Yaaaay!
Jack: Yaaay! Dirt for everybody!
Geoff: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
Michael: It's raining redstones, bitches!
Geoff: [still going] Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Jack: Weeoooo!
Geoff: Congratulations, Jack! The latest winner of the Tower of Pimps!
Jack: Thank you!
*Gavin laughing*
Michael: Look at this! Unh!
Gavin: Good lord!
Jack: [laughing] Jesus Christ!
Jack: [laughing] Geoff is throwin' gold at me!
Ray: ROOOOSEEEESSSSS!
Gavin: Wow, what happened.
Ray: Are we done?
Jack: Geoff, Geoff, you were floating above the ground it looked like you were just really tall.
Jack: Like was, I was, I was like "Why are you so tall?"
*Geoff giggling*
Michael: Come here.
*Gavin breathlessly laughing*
Michael: Gavin, we didn't get to do anything this let's play!
Ray: It's over!
Michael: Motherfucker!
*Gavin laughing away from mic and Jack clearing his throat*
