

PRAISE & ACCLAIM FOR

CAT MANN'S

A BEAUTIFUL FATE

"If you're looking for a story to drag you in and hold you hostage, _A Beautiful Fate_ is most definitely the story for you – the series has me captive and I don't think I want to escape."

\- Year in Books

"I loved _A Beautiful Fate_. It thrilled me, hooked me and entertained me every second I spent reading it. I now consider Cat Mann a favorite author and would definitely recommend _A Beautiful Fate_ to anyone who loves paranormal, mythology and romance mixed together."

-Cuzinlogic.com

"The romance and sexual tension is off the charts. _A Beautiful Fate_ was an amazing read and I can't wait to grab _A Broken Fate_. I want to learn more of the mythology aspects... I would absolutely recommend this book, basically to anyone who loves mythology, action, suspense, romance and an amazing read!!!"

\- Shelves of Books

"It was really an amazing love story that made me counting down the days until the release for the next book!"

-Indy Book Fairy

"Ava is dealing with a lot and you can feel her panic, sadness and giddiness through the writing style of the author. I loved that."

\- Cover to Cover

"I seriously devoured this book!! _A Beautiful Fate_ is in a league of its own."

\- Kawehi Reviews

"Mann is very detailed and knows how to really build the world she has created. I'm totally invested into the story of Ari and Ava. I am pleased to have gotten to read _A Beautiful Fate_ , and I look forward to seeing what else Cat Mann has up her sleeve!"

\- The Violet Hour

"The romance between these two was so sweet and the action was awesome! Ava and Ari are THE couple to watch!!!"

\- Bookish Babbles

"I rejoiced in her strength!"

\- I'd So Rather Be Reading

" _A Beautiful Fate_ drew me in from the first page. (The Story) Blends mythology and real life together seamlessly and the author's characters are very well-developed."

\- The Bibliophilic Book Blog

"What can I possibly say about this book; I am honestly speechless. It was breathtaking!!! Flawless plot with amazing descriptions, very well developed characters and many twists that keep the reader on the edge, especially the ending."

\- Book Addict

A Beautiful Fate

Book I of The Beautiful Fate Series

A novel

by

Cat Mann

Copyright© 2012 by Cat Mann

SMASHWORDS EDITION

http://authorcatmannblog.blogspot.com/

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

First Electronic Edition: June 2013

First Paperback Edition: November 2013

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

A Beautiful Fate: a novel / by Cat Mann.-- 1st ed.

Summary: Ava Baio finds herself sorting through unfamiliar and uncharted feelings with a strange and beautiful boy, Ari – a modern day Adonis. After an unconventional start to their relationship, Ava becomes intensely absorbed by her love for Ari, and with his help and the help of his family, she discovers _who_ she really is – a Fate descended from Atropos. She learns that the Greek mythology she grew up reading is not comprised of myth after all

Without the support of the following people, _A Beautiful Fate_ would have remained a dream: Derek Mann, Mrs. Esther Kaplan, Theresa Norton Greco, KB Weakly, Mom, Dad, Rachel Harmon, and The Lovely Leanne Kuchar.

Thank you.

Cover designed by Derek Murphy of Creativindie Covers

_To my loving husband and children, thank you for handing me my dream life on a silver platter. Without you, my happiness would not be possible_.

Table Of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Notice

Dedication

1-Ava

2- Room 1202

3-Rory

4-Ari

5-Little Talks

6-It's Over

7-The Alexanders

8-Playing Games

9-Mia

10-Taking Flight

11-Favorite Song

12-Warning

13-Merry Happy Love

14- No. Game

15-Murderer

16- I lied.

17-Hate

18- I Miss You

19-Visitors

20- Home

21-Intense

22- Amazing, Breathtaking, Awe-inspiring

23-Rituals

24-Nerves

25-August Fourth

26-Hopeless

27-XO

About The Author

I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?

-John Lennon

### Chapter 1

### Ava

They were screaming for me again, some beseechingly and others by calling out in pain. My grip on the cold steel scissors in my hand turned my knuckles bone white as I walked down the dim corridor. People, strangers, demanded my attention from beyond their closed doors. They called for death and begged for the coup de gràce that would afford them peace, or at least surcease from pain . . .

A shrill scream escaped my lips as I transitioned from restless sleep to wide awake and yanked my ear buds out with much more force than necessary _. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club_ had been chanting about opening my eyelids and letting my demons run. If they only knew. My iPhone dropped with a thunk onto the guest bedroom floor at my Grandmother's home.

_Damn it! I have to stop falling asleep wearing my ear buds_.

My music has a way of insinuating itself into my dreams and causing even more nightmares than I usually have. Sweat beaded on my forehead and my hands shook.

It was just a stupid dream. Remember to breathe. Repeating my mantra, I grabbed my phone from the floor to check the time. Six in the morning, and I had officially had only four hours of sleep.

As quietly as I could, I moved down the hall towards the guest bathroom and switched the faucet on; the knob squeaked in protest from disuse. I splashed my face with cold water and looked up into the mirror at my reflection, at the dark puffy circles that shadowed my green eyes and the pallor of my usually healthy looking skin.

Once, years ago when I was small, my mom had told me that I have my father's eyes . . . and that was the only mention she ever made of him. I cherish that small connection – eye color – that links me to a person I never knew. Pulling my hair into a ponytail that included the tangles my dream-inspired tossing and turning had caused, I brushed my teeth and slipped on my running shoes. Soundlessly slipping down the hallway and then down the stairwell, I let myself out the back door. I was anxious to run, eager to push away my unknown fears.

A sunny California morning carrying the sound of roaring waves as they crashed onto shore greeted me, and I stretched before beginning my run down the sandy beach. The shoreline was relatively quiet and free from beachgoers as I shoved my ear buds in and turned my music up to max sound.

My plan was to run a full six miles to ease my growing anxiety. The pounding of my feet on the sand and my quick panting breaths are therapy for me. I welcome the heat of the rising sun and the way my hair sticks to my skin as my sweat washes over me. I wove my way down the beach, dodging waves as they threatened to dampen my feet. Miles passed; my uneasiness ebbed and my senses finally numbed.

At The Pier, I turned and started my journey back to Margaux's home. The beach began to fill with men and women in swimsuits, spreading out their towels, talking on their cell phones and hollering at small children to stay close by; I breathed them in, the hefty aroma of their coconut-scented suntan lotion and the scent of warm flesh rising from their bodies creating a connection with humanity I don't often feel.

I took my grandmother's deck steps two at a time, slid open her glass back door and crossed through the living room to head up the steps leading to the guest bath for a much-needed shower. Shockingly cold water turned on full force brought a gasp from my lips and made me squeeze my eyes shut. The water was both wonderful and painful. I made myself stay under the showerhead, scrubbed my skin, washed and rewashed my hair until I finally felt clean enough to start my day.

My grandmother is a sucker for the finer things in life. Her towels are super soft and thick. I wrapped one around my body and then grabbed a second for my hair, walked down the hall to the guest room and lugged my suitcases onto the bed. My mother had followed in my grandmother's footsteps and I, having followed my mother's example, am a chump for fashion. Staring down at what I had hastily packed the day before, I pulled a summer dress from my bag, shook out the creases and slipped it on. Way too much heat on the beach to wear anything but loose-flowing fabric and strappy sandals.

Dressed, I headed for the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. While it brewed, I sat at the counter, already anxious again, and waiting – for what I didn't know.

"Ava, Darling."

My grandmother purred from behind me, causing goose bumps to creep up the back of my neck. She startled me from my thoughts and I jumped, spilling my last sip of black coffee across her counter top.

"Morning, Margaux," I mumbled as I ripped a paper towel sheet from the roll and used it to soak up my spill.

"Where have you been? I looked for you all over the house and you were nowhere to be found."

Her concern was fake, I knew, but I acknowledged her attempt at conversation anyway.

"I run, Margaux. Every day."

"Of course you do," she purred again and gave me an ultra-fake, dazzling, white smile.

****

My name is Ava Baio. I am seventeen years old. Until very recently, I lived in an old, two-story brownstone in Chicago with my mother, Lucy and before Chicago, I grew up in Montréal in Quebec, Canada.

The one-time random comment from my mom about my father's eyes gave credence to my assumption that I got my looks from my dad. I don't know what he looked like; he died the same day I was born. But I do know I look nothing like my beautiful mother had. Her eyes had been big and brown; mine are shocking green. She had had pale, clear skin, but I am a soft, creamy tan even without being in the sun. (I do have three freckles – one is right above my lip; a second one, very tiny, is on one of my middle toes... and the third is well hidden. It will never be seen by anyone. Ever.) My mom was tall and graceful; I am neither noticeably tall nor overly short. My mother's hair was of a light honey color and totally straight. Mine is wavy and dark brown; I wear it down to my waist.

Baio, my mom's maiden name, came from her adoptive parents, Margaux and Perry Baio. Margaux is a well-known fashion designer and I have never seen her in anything other than stiletto heels and an "uptown" dress. In my seventeen years as her grandchild she has managed to stay exactly the same – timeless, classically beautiful and, in my opinion, the meanest grandmother on the face of the earth. She always looks at me with contempt and her comments about my hair, nails, or intellect are condescending and filled with disdain. She hates me and that's fine because I've learned to hate her, too. In fact, I now love to hate her – it is a rather entertaining hobby of mine. Unfortunately for me, as of a week ago, Margaux is now my legal guardian.

Margaux's stores, _baio designs_ , can be found wherever serious money is spent. She was a nurse before she pursued her dreams of design, and from what my mother once told me, Margaux was very dedicated to her patients. I don't know what made her change, but to me she seems to be dedicated only to herself. How she pulls herself away from the mirror in the morning, I will never know. The only plus side I can think of to being related to her is the fact that each season she sends me, without fail, the sample clothes from her new lines.

Margaux's husband, Perry, my grandfather, had been her complete opposite. I'll never understand how he stood being married to such a witch. In life he was a rock. There hasn't been a day that has gone by since my grandfather's death that I have not thought about him. His death and the dream I had before he died haunt me. And now, my mother is gone too and I have been left alone with my may-as-well-be-the-devil-grandmother, Margaux. I know if Perry were still alive, he would fight for me. He would let me finish my last year of high school back in Chicago, back with my best friend, Mia and my boyfriend, Michael. Instead, Margaux has pulled me away from everything I know and love and plans to ship me off after the weekend to a boarding school in southern California. I hate her now more than ever.

Never have I ever been accused of being a people person, warm and approachable. A rather large space bubble hovers over me and I am uncomfortable when people hug me or try to hold my hand. My thoughts are my own. I don't speak about myself much. Some people have accused me of being a brat, born with a silver spoon in my mouth, yet while I have been raised as a fortunate child, my mother made me work for everything I wanted. She and I spent our Saturday mornings helping at a soup kitchen and we worked closely with families at a woman's crisis center back home in Chicago. Although I am uncomfortable around people, I still have a large and compassionate heart. A large and compassionate heart, but a careful one that insists on very few friends rather than a bunch of strangers I pretend to see as friends.

Relentless nightmares haunt me and emphasize a feeling I have had my whole life, a feeling of being very different than most people. Okay, I know many people have self-image problems. But I have truly always felt as though people avoid me, as if sensing that there is something not good in me. My logic tells me this is not true, of course. I am quiet at times and I keep mostly to myself, but there is no evil in my heart, just sometimes a shadow of darkness.

I do not speak of my dreams to anyone, nor of the sense of waiting and anxiety that constantly assail me. My mind churns on and on. It never stops. I mull over the same thoughts again and again, like a dog working over a shank bone. The brain activity irritates and then angers me. I cannot remember ever having an at-peace brain.

When the three-ring circus of thoughts fills my head and there is nowhere to store the overflow, I become irritated and then angry. At some point in my younger years, my mom, a pediatrician, took me to a friend of hers, a psychologist, who spent some time talking with me and then announced (big surprise) that I have an anxiety issue. She suggested medication to slow down the churning in my head, but I said no, no pills for this girl, not unless I have malaria or viral pneumonia. Her second suggestion was to take up running, and she told me of a patient with anxiety problems who, in order to avoid medication, tried running and found that a quick three miles along the run trail controlled his panic just fine. Well, hell, I can run. I can run fast. So now, I do, and for the most part, it works.

****

Margaux walked around the kitchen counter and faced me. She was wearing shiny red shoes and a black dress; she looked lovely, as always.

"I am going in to the office. I trust that you will be able to occupy your time in a respectable manner until I return. I have made reservations for this evening at eight for Providence. I will have my assistant pull back a dress from the new fall line for you to wear."

"Sure," was all I could manage to say to her. I stood up to head back to the guest bedroom and she gave me a cold, tight-lipped smile. As I passed my grandmother, I noticed a ghastly burn on the top of her hand. The skin there was broken, red and raw looking. I was alarmed by the injury but quickly shook aside the feeling, not really caring what had happened to her. I silently hoped that it hurt.

Locking myself away in Margaux's chic guest bedroom, I turned my favorite Radiohead album up loud and worked hard on pushing back the tears that threatened to spill out on to my cheeks. I concentrated on the frilly, white lace that outlined the bedspread and the pale pink flowered wallpaper that lined the walls. I reminded myself to breathe and worked hard on the task of letting oxygen fill my lungs and then allowing it to leave again.

The nightmares that were set in motion by my mother's death had troubled my sleep seven times so far. I pulled a worn piece of paper from my overnight bag and added to it a seventh tally mark.

I sat alone in the guest room for the entire day, until Margaux returned from work. When she rapped on the door, I stood up. My joints were stiff and popped from my long inactivity. Margaux handed me a _baio_ dress that she had designed for her fall line and a pair of dangerously high and pointy shoes. I took the clothes and met her downstairs an hour later.

At Providence, Margaux was greeted by the staff with warm hellos and we were seated immediately at a private booth near the back of the restaurant. Our table was covered with a nice, white linen cloth and wine glasses for four. The host took the additional glasses away and wished us a nice evening. Our waiter approached moments later and before I could glance at my menu, Margaux ordered.

"My granddaughter and I will each be having the River King Salmon. I will take a glass of your finest Sauvignon Blanc and Ava will have a glass of water, please – no ice."

Handing my menu off to the waiter, I huffed and stared down at my linen napkin. How could a woman who has spent so little personal time with me know so much about me? I don't use ice. Typically, ice is made from tap water, which is unfiltered; eventually ice melts in my drink and causes impurities to mix with my filtered water. I realize that this statement makes me sound nutty and annoying and slightly silver-spoonish, but I can't really help it; I am obsessive.

As we waited for our meal, several people came up to the table to say hello to Margaux and she politely introduced me to each of them as her "favorite granddaughter," which made me want to gag – I am Margaux's only granddaughter.

I paid very little attention to her admirers until a man approached whom Margaux seemed genuinely happy to see.

"Margaux!" he beamed.

"Ah, Jason," she smiled back. "It's been too long."

"Indeed it has." The man clasped Margaux's hand in his. They spoke briefly and then he looked over to me, squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side in thought.

When Jason said, "This must be Adrian Moirai's daughter," Margaux's pleasant face turned beet red and a big vein throbbed at the temple of her forehead.

"This," my grandmother said sweetly, "is my granddaughter, Ava Zae Baio." She put a little too much emphasis on the Baio and I knew immediately that this Adrian Moirai person was my father. I had never known the name of my father. In fact, when my mother died, I had been directed to her bank so that her assets could be signed into my name. I saw then that my father had also left a sizeable amount of money to me, but that every space that he presumably had signed had been obliterated by white-out.

I tried to give the appearance that I had not been listening to the conversation between Jason and Margaux and had not noticed that change in her demeanor, but in the back of my head I said the name over and over again – Adrian Moirai was a name I intend not to forget, ever.

Our waiter arrived then with our salmon and Margaux's friend made his way back to his table on the other side of the restaurant.

Margaux and I ate in an uncomfortable silence. After dinner she turned to me and spoke.

"Ava, I have taken the liberty of purchasing a car for you to use while you stay here in California. That way you won't have to ask me to arrange transportation for you. I have also set you up with a spending account. You will have a weekly allowance for gas, food and whatever it is that you do; if the amount doesn't work for you, please contact my assistant so we can adjust it accordingly."

"I'm pretty sure I will be okay with that," I said as diplomatically as I could, knowing that I would just be donating the money to charity anyway. "And, um, thanks, for the car. That was very nice of you."

"The car is just a convenience to me, Ava. I am busy; I don't have time to raise a seventeen-year-old girl. Let's get through this year and then we will both be free to go our own ways."

She continued down her list.

"You will need to check in with the Dana Point Institute tomorrow. The drive from here is about an hour, so I suggest you leave fairly early in the morning. You'll check in at admissions. Your belongings have already been sent to your dorm room. I expect you to catch up on classwork quickly. You have missed only one week of the school year so keeping pace shouldn't be a problem for you. I will be checking on your progress from time to time with the dean; if you get anything less than an A on any form of schoolwork, Ava, there will be hell to pay."

I looked down at my knotted fingers.

"Well?" She snapped.

"Yes. I understand."

My voice was small. I felt pathetic.

Margaux waved for the check, passed the waiter a black credit card and once he returned, we left. We rode together in the back of her car while her driver moved smoothly though the heavy L.A. traffic. I wondered idly if she had ever driven herself anywhere – not likely, I decided.

When we got back to Margaux's, I noticed her magnificent baby grand in the entryway. I pointed at it.

"May I?"

She took a seat and allowed me to play. I have played the piano since I was small child. Back in Chicago, I used to give lessons on week nights for my spending money. I know all of Margaux's favorites. I played them until I cleared my head enough that I thought I could sleep, excused myself and headed upstairs.

### Chapter 2

### Room 1202

That night the past crept into my mind again. I relived my mother's death, as I had every night since losing her. My own screams and cries as I begged her to stay at home filled my ears. She left and I watched, knowing that I would never see her alive again.

Waking in the morning after a restless sleep, I dressed quickly and found my way downstairs. I joined Margaux on the veranda for a cup of coffee and a look at some of her discarded _LA Times_. After a moment, she stood up to leave and turned to me.

"Good luck. I'm sure you won't need it."

I smiled at her.

"Oh, and Ava, I already have plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. You will have to be on your own. The school allows students to stay in the dorms over breaks, so you will have no problems staying in Dana Point."

My smile slid off my face. I felt defeated and lonely and the thought crossed my mind that the best thing to do was to fly home to my best friend, Mia. She and her mom would take me in with open arms.

Leaving my still-hot coffee sitting on the patio table, I grabbed my bags and made my way out to the front drive of Margaux's home. There I found a brand new, shiny, black Mercedes G Class SUV. I choked on my own breath at the sight of it. I had been expecting a clunker, some sort of metal death trap, considering that, after all, the car was a gift from Margaux. A Mercedes, I have to say, might be a bit over the top and seem a tad ostentatious. I should have protested and requested a vehicle more eco-friendly and less expensive, but I would have lost the battle anyway.

Margaux will yell at me about being ungrateful and churlish if I argue with her over this car I said to my inner self as I threw my bags in the back and a ridiculously giddy smile claimed my lips. I climbed in and settled back. The car was fantastic – leather seats, satellite radio, GPS, and a great speaker system. It sure beat the hell out of stinky cabs and riding next to unknown characters on the "L" in Chicago. My tires squealed only the littlest bit as I made the turn out of Margaux's cul-de-sac.

I arrived completely relaxed at The Dana Point Institute's campus about an hour later, turned my music from blaring to moderate and surveyed my new territory. The city of Dana Point is stunning – white stone and stucco buildings reminiscent of Mediterranean countries, palm fronds waving high in the air, bougainvillea half hiding private courtyards and lapis waters beyond. The school itself is tucked away in pristine hills with a view of distant ocean to soften them.

I found the main building and walked into an unexpectedly luxurious space – the admissions building was more like a high-end hotel lobby than the foyer of a school. Countertops were formed of marble and sported fragrant blue and white hydrangeas arranged in glass vases for centerpieces. Framed photographs of students in lab coats and on the soccer field dotted the walls. A blue-and-white banner hanging on the wall behind the front desk proclaimed Dana Point Institute, Education for the Unrivaled. A small, very tan woman with frizzy hair was sitting at the desk.

"Hello," I said, startling her a bit. "My name is Ava Baio. I am new here... "

"Oh, Ava! We have been expecting you. Your items arrived yesterday; they are waiting for you in your dorm room." She handed me a stack of papers.

"Here is your class schedule, dining accommodations, insurance forms and a map of the grounds. You are in Socrates, a coed dorm, and your suite is on the twelfth floor."

She took the map out and marked Socrates with an X, then used a red marker to trace the way to it. I nodded and thanked her for the help as I turned around to leave.

I drove up the road to the parking lot closest to the building labeled Socrates and walked a short path to the dorm. I took the elevator to the twelfth floor and when the doors opened, I was pleasantly surprised.

The floor was bisected by a wide hall that served as a commons area. It was quite large and outfitted with comfy-looking couches and chairs. There was a flat screen TV mounted on one of the long walls. In the center, there was room for a pool table and an old upright piano. A door at the far end of the hall opened to a kitchen that had two of everything.

There were six doors on one side of the hall and six on the other. All but two of the dorm doors were decorated with various arrangements of pictures, dry-erase boards covered with kitschy quotes, and posters. The two blank doors, one right next to the other, were labeled AVA RM 1202 and ARI RM 1203. The paper on Ari's door had clearly been attached for quite a while – it had yellowed over time and there was a rip in the corner. Evidently, he was not the decorate-your-door type. Good. I'm not either.

I opened the door to my new home. Any fears I had been harboring about the space ebbed away; my room was quite nice... small in a cozy way, with casement dormer windows overlooking a tree-filled quad. Soft and spotless taupe carpeting covered the floor and the walls were pale blue framed by white woodwork.

A bed pushed against one wall was flanked by a desk. At the foot of the bed was an overstuffed chair with matching ottoman. The closet was a just-okay size; I could probably squeeze my clothes in if I tried hard enough. But the best part of my new room were the casement windows that could be wound open to offer a view and the scent of the quad below, the treetops beyond and the shining sea in the distance.

The school had thankfully given me a single room, but I would have to share a jack-and-jill bathroom with a girl next door to me. The bathroom was just as nice as the bedroom. There were two sinks and lots of storage for my belongings. I plugged my phone and my MacBook into chargers and as soon as they were charged enough, I put on my music, playing it more softly than usual – I didn't want to make any enemies on my first day at Dana Point.

From Louie Armstrong and Bob Dylan and Paul Simon to MGMT and The Foo Fighters, I live and breathe music. But it's best when it's loud. Music has a way of speaking to my soul, reaching much farther than skin deep for me. It is my absolute best form of therapy, but here in the dorm I would have to temper my therapy a bit.

Clothes squared away, I sat on the bed with a box packed full of photographs of life in Chicago and my thoughts moved once more to the loss of my mother. Tears were gathering behind my eyelids and I was on the edge of a good cry when I heard a somewhat timid rap on the bathroom door. It opened slowly and a curly head popped in through the doorway.

"Hey!" a small freckly girl said with a smile. "You must be Ava."

Very quickly, I wiped my eyes with the backs of my hands and I smiled back at her.

"Yep, that's me, come on in."

She took a seat in my chair.

"I'm Emily Martin, your suitemate," she explained.

"It's nice to meet you, Emily," I said, truly meaning it. Her distraction had been quite welcome.

She told me that the dorm was quieter than usual because most of the people on the twelfth floor live in the area and go home on the weekends. She herself is from northern California, and so goes home only about once a month.

"So what part of California are you from?" she asked.

"Well," I said, "my grandmother is from L.A. but I just moved here from Chicago."

I attempted to be vague on the details, not wanting to open up about the loss of my grandfather, then that of my mother and then the rift with my boyfriend all at the same time.

"Oh, well, welcome," she said politely. "Our floor is the best one to live on; you're lucky they never filled it. I think they were waiting for Julia to move back, but that's never going to happen." She seemed to assume that I knew who Julia was.

"We throw a party up here every Thursday night. Most of the people from the other floors come up and it's usually a really good time. All of the people that live up here are nice, some more than others. The girls and I do a lot of shopping trips in Dana Point and in L.A.; you're welcome to join us whenever you want."

"Thanks," I said, genuinely appreciating the offer. "I may just take you up on that."

"So, are you Greek?"

"I'm sorry, am I what?"

"Greek, you know from Greece?"

What a strange question to ask.

"I don't know. My mother was adopted and my father passed away years ago and I never knew much about him."

Emily furrowed her brow.

"Oh... It's just that, you know, about eighty percent of the students here are Greek so I guess I just assumed... well, I'm not, so I shouldn't have assumed..." Emily struggled as her voice dragged to a somewhat embarrassed stop. She shrugged.

"They mostly sit together at lunch and dinner and stuff. Really very nice," she added and then started talking about some of the other people on the floor and the classes and teachers. Emily was friendly and outgoing, clearly the bold and daring type of personality that I always seem to attract. I thought I could see the two of us being friends, at least I seriously hoped so. I definitely appreciated the fact that she kept the conversation going. I tried hard to connect and ask questions but my heart wasn't in it. I don't think she noticed or cared for that matter. She seemed to be content just hearing herself talk, so the friendship would work out nicely. She told me she surfed a lot and invited me to join her some weekend when everyone else was away.

"Thanks for the offer, but I don't do water."

"You picked a bad place to move if you don't like the water," Emily said with a laugh.

"Tell me about it," I said dryly.

"Your other neighbor, Ari, is a good friend of mine; he's the best surfer in the area. Well, that may be a small overstatement, but he's really, really good and absolutely brilliant. I am sure he can teach you."

"I really, really don't do water, but maybe I'll watch."

Emily smiled and after a while excused herself to get back to her homework. With Emily gone, I found that I had absolutely nothing to do and morning was not even over yet. I could feel another emotional crisis coming on so I grabbed my running clothes and headed out to find the school's gym.

The fitness center was just down the road from my dorm and it was huge. Completely state of the art and unlike anything I had ever been to before. There were basketball courts, tennis courts, and an Olympic-sized swimming pool. Weight room, sauna, yoga, pilates – the fitness center seemed to lack for nothing. I headed straight to the indoor track, trying not to be intimidated by people staring unabashedly at me, the new girl. Ear buds in and music ramped up, I ran, falling into the right rhythm almost straight away.

The anxiety and angst began to wash away and once I rounded mile four, I quickened my pace, giving it all I had for my last go round of the track. I finished up at mile five and was walking off the track, completely lost in a song, when I jumped, startled by a stocky, dark-haired boy with a bright smile who stood in my path and was gaping at me. I gave a tiny scream and he tossed his head back and laughed. I could feel my cheeks burn with slight embarrassment and I pulled my ear buds out quickly.

"You scared me!" I said, trying to slow my beating heart.

The boy stopped laughing and his smile broadened.

"I'm Rory; sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Ava," I said, catching my breath. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too. You're pretty fast, you know that?" I nodded in agreement, not sure what to say. I ran my fingers through my hair, something I do when I feel a little uncomfortable.

"Wanna race?" he asked, and I hesitated, not sure how to answer.

"Come on," Rory said, "It'll be fun... loser buys lunch."

The Ava I know would have said something sarcastic, rolled her eyes and walked away. The Ava I know would never have agreed to a race, a bet or a lunch with a complete stranger.

"Alright," my mouth said without my permission. I guessed it couldn't really hurt anything and after all I had promised myself I would at least try to make friends here.

I met Rory at the starting block. He counted down from three, and I took off as fast as I could. I could feel him behind me every step of the way. Before long, we were neck and neck. I tried to push myself as far and as fast as I could go but as soon as I came up near the finish line, Rory flew by and crossed the line a foot in front of me. He gave a victory cheer and then laughed again, all smiles.

"Man, that was close; you nearly had me, Ava. But the good news is you didn't and I am starving."

Rory hit my shoulder playfully with his fist and I rolled my eyes in a teasing manner and laughed a little bit too. I couldn't remember the last time I had laughed.

We took a few minutes to clean up and then walked down the road to a small café on the other side of campus. The place was very cute and full of students chatting about homework, clubs and sports. The sign above the door read "Ambrosia." Rory pulled out a couple of chairs at an outside table and I took a seat.

Our server, who appeared to be another student, promptly came to our table to take our order. She was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt. The shirt had the school's logo on the breast pocket and on the back of the shirt there was a picture of DPI's mascot, Titan, some Greek guy with a sunbeam crown. Rory made small talk with her and introduced me. Her name was Sarah and she was a junior. Rory made sure to tell her that I was paying for lunch since I had lost the bet. Sarah hit him softly with the menu and laughed as she walked away. Rory ordered a burger with fries and a milkshake and I settled on water and a turkey and avocado wrap. He was incredibly friendly and kept the conversation light and breezy.

"So you're new here, huh?" he asked. I nodded yes, as I took a drink of my water.

"Do you have your schedule with you? Maybe we have some classes together."

"I do have it with me actually."

After a quick rummage through my backpack, I found my new class schedule, and handed it over to Rory. He looked it over with his forehead crinkling as he concentrated.

"Hmm," he said, "bad news is we don't have any classes together."

He peered up at me, caught a look of disappointment on my face, and laughed again.

"Aw, I'm touched you care so much, but don't worry, you'll get your fill of me. The good news is that we are on the same floor of the same dorm. I'm on twelve, too, in room 1204."

I smiled. Rory seemed nice and I was thankful to know someone else on my floor.

After I paid for our lunch with the new, sleek, black credit card Margaux had entrusted to me, we walked back to the dorm. Rory talked the entire way, mostly about the Thursday night parties our floor throws and the beach parties he has at his parent's house. We rode the elevator all the way up to the twelfth floor and Rory walked me to my door and leaned against the frame.

"What do you have going on tomorrow?" he asked with a kind smile.

"Nothing actually," I shrugged.

"Well, I usually spend the weekend with my family but they are all gone on some trip so if you want I can show you around town."

I ran my fingers in my hair again and then agreed. "Yeah, ok, that might be nice."

"K," he smiled, "I'll drop by your room tomorrow morning."

I forced a smile, shut the door and then flopped, face first, on to my bed. I wished I had told him no. Rory was nice. Way nice. I just hoped he didn't intend our planned time together to be a date.

The day had been overwhelming – new car, new school, new room, new faces and names. The "new" was having a hard time soaking in. The old was looming behind me.

Bed time was a ways off yet, so I went through my class syllabuses line by line. After that bit of mental exercise, I unloaded my book collection onto the shelves above the desk. That task took a total of five minutes. I pulled out and unfolded my worn paper and added tally mark No. 8. Seven days since my mother's death, eight dreams I had had of it. Killing time in this tiny space was going to be a challenge. I sat on my bed, leaned my head against the wall and finally cried.

### Chapter 3

### Rory

I dream the same dream nearly every night. In it I am walking down a hallway, the kind of hallway hospitals have – long, mint green, and punctuated by occasional nurse's stations. The stations are unattended and dimly lit, the halls shadowy. I can hear the beeps of monitors and read what I presume are patients' names on the doors of the rooms I pass by. Some voices call out to me and beg me to come into their rooms. Others scream at me to stay away. In the dream I am always carrying the same thing in my hand – a long, thin pair of sharp scissors.

I have had this dream for as long as I can remember. Once, I started to tell my mother about it and she looked at me, horrified, and told me to hush. She told me never to speak of the dream again. I never even got to the part about the scissors...

****

I woke to my screams. This time the images of my Grandpa Perry's death haunted me. I could still hear, in my mind, his voice as he called out to me, asking me to cut his thread, showing me for the first time what I was to do with those cold, sharp scissors.

Crawling out of bed with a pounding headache, I downed a couple of Tylenol, and chased them with a bottle of water. I unfolded the piece of paper I started keeping for Perry after his death a couple of months earlier and added tally mark No. 45. Adding the diagonal marks used to comfort me in some way – now I hate it.

I stepped into a hot shower and spent more time than usual scrubbing myself clean. Nervous and a bit apprehensive about spending the day with Rory, I focused on pushing back the nervous uneasiness in my stomach. Out of the shower, I towel dried my long, wavy hair and put on a small amount of makeup. From my freshly organized closet, I pulled out a favorite pair of skinny jeans and an H&M jersey tank, and paired the clothes with some black and white striped ballet flats.

Rory hadn't yet arrived so I turned on my MacBook and began to type an email to Mia back home. We had been texting back and forth ever since I left Chicago, but the messages had all been short and to the point. I told her about everything that had gone on so far, which hadn't been much, really. I told her about Emily and Rory and about how much I missed her. Near the end of my message I asked her what she had going on for the holidays because, at the moment, my plans were nonexistent.

I heard a knock at my door and before I could get up, it swung open and Rory stood just outside, a big smile on his face.

"Morning!"

Without waiting for my reply, he came on in and made himself at home on my chair, throwing his flip flop-clad feet up on the ottoman while I quickly finished my email. I would learn to appreciate his carefree manner and the giant smile stretched across his face, but this morning I was slightly taken aback.

"Ready?" he asked cheerfully.

"Yep."

I hit the "send" button on my computer, grabbed my cell phone off the charger and shoved it in my back pocket.

First we wound through the campus and Rory used my schedule to show me where my classes would be held. We stopped near a stone arch that perfectly framed the sea view. The main quad was spread out behind us. Dana Point Institute has everything a notable campus should have – an excellent academic program, a massive art studio, world-renowned ocean research labs, a huge library, and, of course, a fitness center that would make any Olympian feel at home. The crashing of the waves reaches the dorms and the rolling treetops remind me of something Bob Ross might have painted. In spite of myself, a little sigh escaped my lips.

We left the campus then and spent the rest of the day in Dana Point itself.

The harbor is breathtaking, the ocean so clear and so blue that the line separating water from sky is nearly invisible. Rory told me that he had lived near Dana Point all of his life, in his family's house on the beach, about ten miles south of town. Both his dad and his uncle had graduated from Dana Point Institute, and his older brother, Nick, was also an alum. Rory and several of his cousins were the current crop of students.

He talked about his family a lot, about how close they have always been and about how the various branches all live along the same stretch of beach.

"So why didn't you go with them this weekend then, on their trip?" I asked.

Rory shrugged and bit at his bottom lip.

"I am not exactly speaking to one of my cousins right now. He is a major jerk and for whatever reason everyone loves him, so I decided to hang back and get away from them for a while."

"So what did he do to make you stop speaking to him? And does he know you aren't speaking to him?"

"Oh, believe me he knows. I dunno, our fight is stupid, I guess," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't really want to talk about it."

That was the first time and last time I saw a smile leave Rory's face all day. Whatever happened, it must really have had him feeling down.

"Ok, I get it, I'm sorry I asked."

"Ha, don't worry about it. Just a stupid fight, really, no big deal."

With that, he plastered a smile right back onto his face.

"OK, let's cut the crap; _who_ are you, Ava?"

I blinked at his strange question.

"Uh, I don't know what you mean... "

Rory stared at me for a moment and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Huh... ok, never mind. Forget I asked."

He eyed me curiously.

I said as little as possible about myself, not really wanting to open up, knowing that anything I had to tell would sound depressing. Rory gracefully did not push me for too many details.

"So your last name is Baio?" he asked as we were driving back to campus. "Any relation to the _baio_?"

"Yeah," I answered dully, hating my last name.

"Margaux Baio is my grandmother and Perry was my grandfather."

"Holy hell! I was just joking," he said with a laugh. "I didn't think you were actually related to them. That's awesome!"

I laughed aloud.

"Being related to Margaux is not really too awesome, and I have no plan to work for the company. That woman is the devil."

He shrugged his shoulders and pulled into the parking lot, letting the conversation end with no further questions. His silence surprised me. I was used to people who wanted a connection with me only because of _baio_. Back in Chicago, my main claim to unwanted fame had been my connection with _baio_. Some of the girls at school had even asked me for free items from the shop. They hadn't really wanted anything to do with me unless Mia and I were at Margaux's store on Michigan Avenue; other than that I was a nobody.

I thanked Rory for showing me around and ducked inside my room.

### Chapter 4

### Ari

No sooner had the door closed behind me than I heard a knock at the bathroom door and Emily popped her head in through the doorway.

"Hey!" she said. "Hope I'm not bothering you."

I smiled and waved her into my room.

"I just wanted to let you know that most Sunday nights the girls on the floor get together in the commons and watch movies. We're getting ready to start; come on along if you want to join us."

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

A feeling of relief came over me as I realized that I wouldn't be stuck in my room all night with my own crazy thoughts. Emily was already in her pajamas and had her hair pulled back in a curly ponytail. I threw on an old Cubs shirt I like to lounge in and a pair of girly boxers, then followed her out the door. Four other girls were waiting for us on the overstuffed couches in front of the TV.

Pillows and blankets were piled up on the floor and the couches. Big bowls of popcorn were on the end tables. I thought the movie idea was a nice one; the darkened room and bright TV, snacks at hand and quiet conversations going on reminded me of my friendship with Mia and I instantly began to miss her. Emily introduced me to Skylar, Keri, Viola, and Sophie. Sophie and Viola were friendly, welcomed me to the group, and asked me a couple of questions. Skylar and Keri, on the other hand, seemed to ignore my existence. Skylar quickly and, I thought, pointedly, pushed the "play" button, cutting the rest of our conversation short.

The movie was a sappy love story that I had a very hard time paying attention to. About half way through the movie, the elevator dinged. All six of us turned our heads toward the end of the hallway in time to see the doors slide open and the most incredibly handsome guy I had ever seen walk out into the commons. My heart instantly stuck in my throat and my pulse quickened. He had dark brown hair that stuck up in that messy-but-not-too-messy way guys do now. He had a scruffy five o'clock shadow that looked incredible against his creamy white skin and his eyes were a never-ending, clear, deep brown. But none of these features compared to his perfect, white, radiating smile. Just seeing him gave me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. The girls all gave a tiny sigh as he walked in and someone pushed "pause" on the movie.

"Hey, Ari," Emily said cheerfully, "how was your trip?"

He ran his hand through his thick, messy hair. I felt my cheeks warming. I want to touch that hair. I shook my head, dismissing the thought. Clearly, I needed some sleep.

"Ladies," he nodded to everyone in the room, and when I heard his voice I gave an involuntary but (I hope) inaudible gasp. I quickly shifted my gaze and noticed that he had had the same effect on all of us.

"Trip was . . . fine," his eyes crinkled in the corners as he spoke. He took a step towards his room and then he noticed me. Our eyes locked for what felt like an eternity and I felt my cheeks grow even pinker.

"Hello," he said, and smiled at me.

I smiled back and then immediately looked down, feeling incredibly foolish and responded with a tiny "hi."

"I'm Ari," he said, introducing himself.

Thankfully, Emily spoke up.

"Oh, yeah, Ari, this is Ava your new neighbor," she gave a little wink.

He smiled one last time before retreating to his room. As soon as his door shut, I could hear all six of us let out the breath we had been holding since the moment the elevator doors opened.

Emily turned to me with a huge grin on her face.

"That was Ari Alexander. He is totally gorgeous and incredibly nice. He is everyone's friend and I'm pretty sure that we all have major crushes on him."

She giggled, and then went on giving me all the details of his life. He was eighteen, as was everyone else on the floor, except for me. He lived in some colossal home on the beach and sounded like the stereotypical California rich kid. I tried to look polite but disinterested when truthfully I wanted to know everything about the "gorgeous and incredibly nice" Ari who caused weird things to happen in my tummy.

Once the movie was over, I had no choice but to go to my room. I climbed onto the bed, without even getting under the blankets and quickly fell asleep, not realizing how exhausted I actually had been.

****

My nightmare returned. Images and shadows, doors and voices, sirens and heart monitors combined together to terrify me and judge me. I woke suddenly and grabbed my foot. There was an incredible pain in my toe... evidently, in the throes of an especially dreadful dream I had kicked the wall that my bed was pushed against, kicked it hard. Before I could even check the time, I heard a knock at my door. I clambered out of bed and pulled my door open. Ari stood there in my doorway. He had a worried expression on his face.

"You alright?"

"Uh... " I think I blinked three times before I could respond somewhat properly.

"I'm fine... I hit my toe." I pointed to my foot and immediately realized that in the dark the chances that he could see my toe were minimal. He must think I'm a complete moron flashed through my mind. I waited for him to acknowledge the toe story and leave, but he didn't. He just leaned in the doorway and smiled at me. He cocked his head to the side and my heart fluttered. Ari narrowed his eyes at me.

"Are you sure you're okay in here?"

"Umm hmm."

"Alright, well, if you're sure... I'm going back to sleep then."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry I woke you."

"I'm not," Ari gave a cute grin and I blushed; thank goodness for the dark. "If you need anything I'm next door, but I usually like to sleep in a little later than this." He was trying to tease me and be friendly, but my dream had brought my mom's death to the front of my mind for what felt like the hundredth time. I was in no mood for extending his time in my doorway.

"Right, I get it; sorry."

Closing the door tight behind me, I grabbed my phone off my desk and saw it was only five in the morning. My first class was not until eight, but there was no way I was going to be able to fall back asleep. I gave up on any thought of going back to bed; instead, I took a long, hot shower and then got ready for class. I turned _Vampire Weekend_ on in the background and sang softly along with Ezra about being a contra. I took a quick glance at my MacBook, reading the few emails posted there. One, a long one, was from Mia letting me know that I absolutely could join her for Christmas but that she and her mom would be out of state for Thanksgiving. I quickly deleted all the emails Michael had sent me, just as I had been doing with all of his texts. He had not consoled me about my mother, he had never once offered to listen to my fear and sorrow, and he had not wanted "to do" long distance. I wasn't about to spend time on him.

The dorm walls were paper-thin and at 7:30 on the dot, I could hear the buzzing of Ari's alarm. He hit the snooze two more times before I finally heard his footsteps cross his dorm room floor. I added a tally on my mom's paper and I glanced over my schedule one last time. Since Dana Point is an independent study school, classes are held only Monday through Thursday. My school days started with a private piano class. I hadn't known when I signed up for it if it would be of benefit to me, but I was willing to take an hour out of my day to sit and play, even if the tutoring had little to offer.

After piano, I had history, calculus, economics, literature and chemistry. I closed each academic day with independent gym, a wonderful way to unwind... couldn't have chosen a better way to end my afternoons if I had tried.

I found the music hall with ease and was pleasantly surprised by my music mentor, Mrs. Bea. I could see right away that she was a talented musician and tutor, and she offered me some workable ideas during that first session about how I could improve my playing. She sat by me on the bench and we played a few songs she had composed herself.

My history class was fine. Viola, Sophie and Emily from my floor were in the class and we talked about the French Revolution, a subject, that, by virtue of my early schooling in Quebec, I have always been well versed in.

Calculus and economics were as to be expected, hard and boring, and when they were over I left class, meandered through the campus and found the cafeteria. Well, the DPI brochure and my class schedule both called it a "cafeteria," but that word evokes one of those lunchrooms with a long, single line of kids pointing variously at slices of pizza, hot dogs or soggy tacos. This room was a super-sized hall full of staff in white aprons, white shoes and little white hats. There was a coffee bar, an omelet station, made-to-order sandwiches and salads, and almost any kind of soup a person could think of.

Here in the cafeteria, I saw what Emily had been talking about during our first conversation, when she had asked me about being Greek. The room was filled with tables, the tables filled with students. Most of the tables were round and seated eight to ten people. One rectangular table stretched the whole length of the room by a bay of windows. It was full of students, all laughing and talking animatedly. This table must hold the Greeks she had mentioned. I spied Rory at one end of the long table talking with Sarah, and noticed a few other students who had been in some of my morning classes. Then I spied Ari – he was sitting near the end of the table and was deep in conversation with another student.

The whole room was loud and the noise made my nerves stand on end. My anxiety was growing by the moment, so I grabbed a cup of coffee and a bagel and left without anyone taking notice. I ate as I walked slowly to my literature class. I was the first to arrive so I took a seat, hoping I hadn't taken anyone's favorite spot, and flipped open my MacBook.

Class began to fill up after a while and I was startled to see Ari entering the room. My breath hitched in my throat at the sight of him. He smiled at me as he passed by and his brown eyes twinkled with amusement. He slid into the seat right behind me. I could smell him; he had an aura of clean sea air and freshly cut grass that was intoxicating and made my head feel fuzzy. Concentrating was going to be difficult.

Our class was starting the study of Greek mythology and first on the list was The Odyssey. I had already read the epic Homer poem, so I allowed myself to zone out during the preparatory lecture. I did manage to listen some and take notes, in spite of the beautiful distraction behind me.

When the class ended, I tried my best to bolt without having to look at Ari, but it was no use. He was already in front of me, holding the door open with that lopsided smile on his face. I tried to pretend not to notice him as I walked out the door to my next class. Alas, Ari was in my chemistry class too and I as I headed down the hall toward the lab, I could sense him behind me every step of the way. I jumped when he actually spoke.

"So Ava, other than the incident with your toe this morning, how is your first day treating you?"

_Oh, holy hell_ ; he said my name.

"Um, fine I guess. I'm sorry again about waking you."

"It's fine... don't worry about it."

He ran his hand through his hair and gave me another crooked smile. Then he walked away but not before I heard him humming the tune of the song I had been singing this morning in my room while I got ready for class. My cheeks burned white hot with embarrassment.

In the lab I found that everyone else had already been paired up and so I was not given a lab partner, but I was okay with that. I had scanned the text the day before and knew that I had already covered most of the material the previous year. A partner would only slow me down.

The rest of the day went smoothly. DPI is a paperless school, and is intent upon reducing the world's carbon footprint, so all notes have to be taken on a laptop and all quizzes and tests are done online. I found myself liking the system and was thankful that I had saved money the year before to buy a MacBook. Without it I would have been screwed.

I had been looking forward to independent gym– a whole hour to work on my own at what I loved best – running. I got a little turned around by the campus and arrived late, but no matter. I was free to move at my own speed in the class and do whatever I liked. I checked in with a gym coach, Coach Zellie, pushed my ear buds in and walked towards the track. I saw Ari leaning against the rail talking to Rory. They were laughing about something and then they hugged and Ari gave Rory a pat on the back.

I did my best to ignore them as I walked passed. Rory, of course, would not allow that to happen. I heard him shout my name with his booming voice and I pulled my buds back out, turned around and shot them both a quick smile.

"Hey Ava, how's it going?" Rory asked, seeming genuinely interested.

"It's good," I tried to answer briefly and move on quickly, but he wasn't letting me off the hook that easily.

"I looked for you at lunch," he gave a small frown.

"Oh, yeah, lunch. Um, I had some things to get caught up on," I offered the lamest of excuses and took another step toward the track.

"Ari, this is the girl I was just telling you about. Have you met Ava?"

"Uh," he stammered a bit, "yeah, I have. Nice to see you again, Ava."

I nodded and tried to walk on to the track, but Rory spoke up again.

"Ari, you have got to see Ava run man; I'm telling you, I have never seen anything like it."

"Oh yeah?" Ari gave a megawatt smile and the tummy thing happened again. "I'll have to take your word for it, Roar; gotta get going." He looked down at his watch and left without saying another word.

Rory must have noticed my disappointment even though I tried like hell to hide it. Having Ari watch me run would only have made me feel stupid anyway. My worry was about the way I felt around him, about how the sight of him filled my insides with butterflies and then made them do little flips... and how my palms got sticky and my heart picked up the pace. I didn't even really know him and yet, more than anything, I wanted to go to him and find comfort in his arms. No one had ever affected me in that way before, and I had no clue how to handle my confusion. My first thought was call mom – then I could dish on all the details and get her advice. The impossibility of doing so stabbed me suddenly and I bit back tears as I said a quick goodbye to Rory and set off down the track. I played my music as loud as my eardrums would allow.

The rest of my first week at DPI passed by in a blur – I had arrived just a week late into the first semester so I wasn't too terribly behind the rest of the students. I got used to my classes in no time and quickly caught up on most of my classwork. I had decided not to show my face in the horrible lunchroom; instead, I packed my book bag with granola bars and kept a bottle of water handy.

Dinner in the cafeteria, however, is mandatory at DPI, as it is at most boarding schools. Because board is paid as part of tuition, the school monitors students who consistently don't show up for meals so that parents can know their money is being used appropriately. But I made sure to arrange to go with Rory or Emily whenever I could. Both of them knew just about everybody and I felt more at ease having them near me.

Evenings were hard. I hated sitting alone in my dorm. My mind invariably drifted to thoughts of my mother, and before long, I started using the commons area for reading and the library for studying as much as possible.

Mia and I still hadn't found a good time to reach each other by phone. She tried calling me as soon as she got out of school but I was still in class at that hour. Then I tried calling her as soon as I was done with classes, but she was already at work by then. Next, she started calling me from the "L" on her way home at night – at that hour I am actually in the dorm. Finally, a time match!

"So! Ava! How's it going? Are you hanging in there?"

"It's fine, I guess. I miss you."

"I miss you, too; nothing is the same here without you."

Mia was careful not to bring up my mother. I think she felt uncomfortable talking about a subject that made me so sad, and really I wasn't eager to talk about Mom either. I had no way to stop the tears that flooded my eyes and my voice...

"Have you met anybody yet? Tell me about some of the people there."

"They are all actually really nice, aside from a couple of snotty rich girls. You would love my suitemate, Emily; you two are exactly alike. I hang out with her and her friends sometimes. I met this guy Rory. He's great. He showed me around the campus and the town."

"And?" she said, drawing the word out a little longer than necessary.

"And nothing, that's it."

"Oh, Ava please; it sounds like he likes you. Is he hot?"

"He is hot, actually, but I don't like him like that."

"Bummer, are there any other guys?"

"Of course, Mia; I live in a co-ed dorm."

"What _ever_ , Ava; you know what I mean."

"I dunno... there is one guy, he lives right next door. He is absolutely gorgeous... and nice, too," I whispered into the phone, remembering the thin wall Ari and I shared.

Mia squealed, which is rare for her.

"Details! Now!"

"I just gave you details. That's it. He could have any girl he wanted. I'm me, so there's no chance in hell he'll give me a second thought."

"Ava," Mia sighed, "you have never been able to see yourself clearly. You are drop-dead gorgeous and the most intelligent person I have ever met. Honestly, you are probably too good for him."

"So what about you?" I said, changing the subject. "Any new guys in your life?" This question could keep Mia busy for hours.

"Well, yes, actually there is. Oh, my gosh, Ava, he is so perfect. His name is Jack; and he's super cute and funny. We're only texting so far, but I think it may go somewhere. He's friends with a guy I work with, but he came in one night just to see me!"

"Aw, Mia that's great. I am happy to hear it."

"Thanks! I haven't told you my good news yet."

"You mean Jack isn't your good news?"

"Not this time! My mom got me a plane ticket for my birthday to come see you!"

I actually screamed into the phone.

"No way!"

"Way! Figure out a good weekend and let me know... Mom says I can miss only one day of school, so make it count."

I was smiling into the phone. This was the best news I had had in weeks. Mia hung up to attend to a new flirty text from Jack that needed her full concentration and I had studying to do. But the good news stayed with me, front and center in my brain.

On Thursday night, I headed back to the dorm later than usual from the library. When I got off the elevator, I found the commons was packed full of people and music was blaring from the speakers. Emily bounced up to me and linked her arm through mine.

"Where have you been? It's Thursday! Remember our party?" I unhooked my arm from hers and took a step back.

I had completely forgotten that our floor partied on Thursday nights. I didn't really care about the parties, but they would help keep me preoccupied. I apologized to Emily and promised that I would be out as soon as I took a shower and changed. One quick glance at the people already in the commons had told me my jeans and shirt wouldn't cut it. I took a fast shower and opted for one of Margaux's more casual, shorter dresses – navy with a little white bird print. The dress was perfect with my favorite pair of flats. I spent a little more time than usual putting on makeup and then finally came back out of my room.

Emily was talking with some of the girls from the floor; I walked over to join them. They were planning a group shopping trip to Los Angeles for Friday and since I had no homework and no home to go to, I agreed to tag along. One of Margaux's largest stores is in L.A. and she had told me I was welcome to go there any time to shop with her. I sent her a quick text letting her know I would be in on Friday with friends. She actually texted me back saying that would be great.

Every time Margaux had come to Chicago, she had insisted on taking Mia and me to _baio_ for a girls' day out; I always suspected she planned the girls' day because she really likes Mia. Mia worships Margaux's every move, and if there is one thing Margaux loves, it is flattery.

The party was picking up. I tried as hard as I could not to care about Ari. I refrained as long as humanly possible from looking around the room for him. As soon as the shopping plans had been made and our conversation died down, I allowed myself one quick glance around the room. I saw him right away leaning against the back wall, looking as good as ever, but this time he had a girl hanging from his arm saying something in his ear.

The girl was tall and skinny and she had jet-black hair that came to a sharp angle right at her jaw line. It was perfectly straight without a single wisp out of place. She had dark eyes but pale, crystal-clear skin and big, full, naturally red lips. She was perfect for him and my heart came crashing down to earth in a million little pieces.

Ari noticed me looking and I was extremely thankful that at that very moment Rory came up to steal my attention away.

"Having fun?" he asked, holding a beer in his hand.

"Yeah, sure, I guess," I answered somewhat honestly. This party wasn't the most fun I had ever had but it beat wallowing in a pool of my own tears.

"Oh, come on, this is great; here let me get you a drink."

"No, no thank you, I don't drink." I said, looking around and noticing that I was one of the very few people not drinking at the party.

Rory continued talking to me and I listened for a bit and then zoned out, allowing my thoughts to drift. I felt like a jerk for not listening, for not being as good a friend to him as he had been to me, but I couldn't help being seriously bummed out. After a bit, I excused myself from the group and started walking back to my room. I allowed myself one more glance at Ari, but he was nowhere in sight and neither was his pretty friend.

I went back to my room, put on a tank top and a pair of boxers to sleep in, and crashed hard. I quickly found myself back in a nightmare. Again I was in the dimly lit hospital, a dream I actually preferred to reliving my mother's death. I walked the halls and listened to the cries of all the people behind the doors. I did my best to drown out the insults some of the people were throwing at me and through the din, I heard someone calling my name, not in a begging way, but just saying it to get my attention. I stopped at the door and read a name that I did not recognize, Maya Xenos. I could hear her in there calling to me. I could hear monitors beeping in the background.

I hesitated for a long moment. I nearly turned to walk away until I heard a quiet "please" call out to me from the other side of the door. I turned back and opened the door out of curiosity. In the room, I found a tired, lovely older woman sitting up in bed. She looked incredibly ill. She was defying an obvious need to be lying down, her eyes were shrouded in dark circles and her skin seemed too loose for her frame. Her face lit up when I walked in and that surprised me a bit. This woman was not recognizable to me, but she clearly knew exactly who I was. She beckoned me forward; I took a few steps, and then stopped, standing at the side of her bed.

She held me in a long hug. When she finally spoke, her words were quiet and breathless. She asked me to help her, to save her and allow her more time. She motioned to a little boy, who could not have been more than two years old, curled up on the bed next to her, asleep. I looked around the room and it was far different from the room Perry had been in when he visited my hospital nightmare. The room was old, but still beautiful. The walls were made of large stones and the furnishings were charming and handcrafted. There was a window that peered out into a garden, but my mind would not allow me to focus on anything beyond the garden.

The little boy was darling, his cheeks chubby and round, his little fingers delicate. The backs of his hands showed small, round dimples for knuckles. I had an unbelievable urge to scoop him up, hold him to me tight and kiss his little, creased forehead.

I looked back at Maya, not understanding what she was saying or what she meant. I could tell that she was dying, and I gathered that she was the only person the little boy had left. Maya gestured to a clock. It showed the year, month, day, hour, minute and second. It was off by an hour. I looked back at her puzzled.

"I'm sorry," my brow furrowed, "I don't understand."

She took my hand and put a red thread in it, the same type of red thread my grandfather had showed me right before he died. The thread was pretty and delicate but oddly strange. Hues of red colors swirled throughout the fibers. I looked up at Maya confused. Certainly, she did not want me to cut it.

"Pull," she whispered, nodding her head to encourage me. I held the thread in my hand and after a moment's hesitation, I pulled and my eyes widened as the thread began to stretch. I continued to extend the thin thread and as I did, Maya's face became less tired and she no longer struggled for breath. The dials on the clock turned backwards rapidly as I pulled and she smiled at me and touched my face softly.

"You are not like the rest, Ava Moirai; you are capable of good."

She kissed both of my cheeks and I awoke with the blink of an eye.

Getting out of bed, I was confused and decided to head towards the kitchen for some coffee. Just as I closed my door, Ari's opened... but it was not Ari coming out from his room. It was the girl that I had seen him with the night before.

"Oh, hi, you startled me," she said politely, in a British accent.

I gave her a smile as, unable to help myself, I peeked quickly into Ari's room. I saw that his room was a mirror image of mine. His bed and mine shared the same paper-thin wall. His bed was messy and full of big, puffy white blankets and pillows. I felt a pang of jealously when I imagined this gorgeous girl tangled up in the blankets with him all night long. Then I spied Ari, sound asleep in his chair, his feet propped up on the ottoman and his long legs stretched out in front of him. He was wearing the same clothes he had had on the night before. I let out a sigh of relief, then immediately felt stupid and presumptuous for even caring.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," I said to the girl. "I was just on my way to get some coffee."

"Coffee sounds great," she replied as if I were inviting her to come with me.

We padded down the hall to the kitchen and she took a seat at one of the little tables while I made a pot of coffee. I placed a steaming mug in front of her, put another down across from the first for myself and then sat.

"I'm Julia," she said sweetly.

"Ava," I said introducing myself.

"Yeah, I know, Rory has told me about you."

"All good, I hope," I said in a lame attempt of keeping up small talk.

"Yes, of course, all good," Julia laughed, even though my comment truly had not been at all funny. I felt grouchy, but then realized Julia had had nothing to do with my present mood. I tried harder to join her in conversation.

"Do you live here in the dorms?"

She shook her head, "I used to. I actually used to live in your room. I moved out last spring."

Oh, that Julia, I thought. I remembered that Emily had mentioned her.

"I just came up here last night for the party."

"Oh, I didn't see you," I lied. I shouldn't have lied. Why did I lie? What difference did it make if I had seen her or not?

"Well, that's because I was holed up in Ari's room."

Ugh, please don't give me any details.

"He's my ex-boyfriend. I was trying to win him back last night I guess."

"Did it work?" I asked in a friendly tone, but deep down inside I was really hoping she had not succeeded.

"No," she answered sadly. "He kept trying to drive me home last night and I kept talking about us. Finally he told me point blank that there is no "us" anymore. He said there's nothing I can do bring us back together." Julia's voice broke a little as she repeated Ari's words. I felt sorry for her. I'm sure the conversation must have hurt.

"I'm sorry. If it makes you feel better, my boyfriend broke up with me the day before I moved here."

Julia smiled up at me, "guys are such bastards."

"Yes, they can be," I agreed, thinking back to Michael. The day before I moved to California he had called me outside of my apartment and told me that he didn't have the energy to "do a long distance thing with me." Michael and I had dated for three years. He broke up with me three days after my mom died. He had no regard for my feelings or my emotions. Michael was indeed a complete bastard.

Julia and I finished our coffee and I got up to go back to my room.

"It was nice meeting you, Julia."

I meant it. But I hated the fact that she was so nice.

"It was nice meeting you, too, Ava. I am sure I'll see you around campus."

I walked back to my room just as Ari's door opened again. He stepped out and looked groggy. He was wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses that somehow only made him look even hotter. His hair was sticking out in tufts in an adorable sort of way that made me want to run my fingers through it. He gave me a smile as if he were happy to see me. I smiled back and then quickly walked into my room and shut the door before he could speak.

****

Emily, Vi, Sophie and I all piled into my new car. I had driven it once, so it was still spotless and had that new car smell. Even though I didn't have a car back home, my mom still had made me get a driver's license. She made me practice with her Porsche and I was white knuckled and terrified the whole time. But in my car I felt really, really comfortable.

We made the drive to L.A. and I listened as the others discussed Julia and Ari in detail. Everybody made guesses about what might have happened between the two of them the night before. The speculation went on for a good half an hour. I knew, of course, what had happened, but I didn't join in; gossip has never been my thing.

We arrived at _baio_ , Margaux's store, about an hour later. She had been waiting for us and I could tell her staff was on edge. She rarely made an appearance at any of the retail shops and I am sure all of the people working that day were cursing my name. Someone was bound to get fired. Margaux loves to make scenes.

Margaux had her staff show off all of the newest clothes and we tried on whatever we wanted. Margaux had box after box filled and carried out to the car. She made her own choices about what we should have . . . but nobody other than myself seemed to notice. Then she insisted on taking us all to lunch. Emily, Vi and Sophie had an awesome time and adored Margaux just as Mia always has. I did not see the draw in an evil woman who floated around on stilettos all day.

After the shopping and the lunch, we headed back to Dana Point, hitting campus in late afternoon. Loaded down with boxes and bags, we were waiting in the lobby for the elevator when the doors slid open and Ari stepped out. He said hello to us all with his bright, beautiful smile and I attempted to look pre-occupied with our items. Emily, Viola, Sophie and I hopped on the elevator. They called out their own friendly hellos. I kept my eyes on the ground and didn't look up until I knew the doors were closed together tightly.

I opened the door to my dorm and shoved all the boxes in the bottom of my closet, then flopped down on my bed. After spending the day with my grandmother in high gear and a car full of gossiping girls, the quiet was abnormally welcoming. Twelfth floor was silent. Most of the people had gone home for the weekend, and I suspected Ari was heading home too. I was officially alone.

### Chapter 5

### Little Talks

I dedicated my Friday night to personal research. A Google search for dream patterns that matched my own yielded nothing. The descriptions I entered evidently were unique to me. I even Googled Maya Xenos; she was nowhere to be found. I then moved on to researching my father, something that I had been putting off since the moment I heard his name mentioned at Providence.

Don't get me wrong. I wanted to know, I wanted desperately to know, anything I could find out about him. But there was also part of me that was terrified. Why had my mom kept his life a secret from me? And why had she gone to such great lengths to hide his name in all the legal documents? There had to be something about him that someone did not want me to know. I opened my Google search engine and typed in "Adrian Moirai." The very first entry was an _L.A. Times_ story from seventeen years ago.

Business mogul Adrian Moirai, 31, of Dana Point, California, was found shot to death Tuesday outside the White Memorial Medical Center in suburban Los Angeles. His assailant is believed to have been a member of the Kakos family, a small, European mob-style group about which almost nothing is known. Times sources indicate that Moirai had been caught up in the Kakos' activities for some time. Neither the businessman's family nor his friends were willing to comment on Moirai's death. According to Detective Jason Scott of the L.A. Police Department, the assailant remains at large. The L.A.P.D. assures the residents of Los Angeles that Moirai's murder was an isolated event and that the force will do its best to find the attacker and put the matter to rest.

A horrible feeling of sickness overcame me. I did not believe that my mother could ever have been involved with someone who was a member of a gang. Surely the _L.A.Times_ had gotten the story all wrong. I slammed shut my MacBook with more force than necessary and went down the hall towards the kitchen for a bottle of water, then spent the rest of the weekend in solitude. Sunday evening I joined the girls on my floor for another sub-par romance.

The next week seemed to drag by; I got used to my schedule and practiced the art of sleeping with a pillow over my head to drown out my nightly screams. I relived my mother's death night after night. Each time I tried to save her, and each time I failed.

As I pondered my parents and searched for information, Ari occupied my thoughts less and less. But whenever I caught a fleeting glance of him, the weird tummy thing would happen and a rabble of butterflies seemed to take flight in my stomach. When we did once end up in the dorm elevator together, I froze as soon as the door closed. My palms got sticky and my breath caught in my lungs. I attempted to seem busily involved at looking over my chem notes, but I'm pretty sure he knew better. Neither of us spoke a word and I could feel the beating of my heart behind my ears. When the doors finally opened on the twelfth floor, I heard him let out a breath of relief, then watched as he got off and walked straight to his room.

I had been at school for three weeks now and homecoming weekend was just a couple of weeks away. Emily had told me the weekend would consist of non-stop partying. Mia had decided that a "non-stop partying" kind of weekend would be the best kind for her visit. I was eager to see her, but uneasy too about my feelings for Ari. I could see Mia believing her intervention to be a necessity.

My nightmares continued and I woke up most nights crying out or screaming breathlessly. Often Ari would tap on the door and wait for me to answer and tell him that everything was okay. One night in particular the dream was so vivid and so terrifying that when I opened my eyes, I didn't immediately recognize where I was. I was sobbing and confused; moments later, there was a tap at my door and this time it slowly opened.

"Are you okay in here?"

It was Ari.

"Mm hmm. I'm sorry I woke you."

He shook his head softly. "You didn't; I couldn't sleep."

"Oh," I said as I watched him walk into my room and sit next to me on my bed. My mind went from confused and scared to racing... and my heart began to pound. The racing and pounding had nothing to do with my nightmare. Ari gently brushed a strand of my hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. His touch was electrifying and my heart beat in triple time.

"You moved here from Chicago."

"Mm hmm."

"Do you miss it?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, frowning. The frown looked all wrong on his face. "What do you miss about it?"

I sat there for a minute in the quiet darkness before speaking. I let out a breath.

"I miss everything. The noises and the way the city smells after a rain. I miss the gray sky, the gray streets and the gray buildings. I miss how I can look any way I want to look and be anyone I want to be without anyone giving me a second glance. I miss my home."

"Don't you like it here?"

I shook my head, dislodging the strand of hair from behind my ear.

"Not really."

His frown deepened.

"Are you having nightmares?" His voice was almost a whisper. He moved my hair once again away from my face. His touch was soft. His fingers lingered for a tiny moment on my cheek. He gave me goose bumps.

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't."

Ari nodded, blew a breath out between his cheeks and rubbed his hands up his face and through his hair. He stood up and gave me a tiny smile.

"Good night, Ava."

This same scenario went on for a couple more days. Ari came into my room each night to check on me. He sat on the bed and asked me a question, I answered it and he got up to leave. I began to dread the moment that he would leave. But what I hated the absolute most was the fact that Ari wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak to me, when we crossed paths during the days. He acted as though I didn't exist. I would watch him joke around with people in class or walk with a group of his friends in the hallway and think why can't you talk to me when someone else is around? What's wrong with me?

One night, I woke up to him shaking me awake and I was mortified.

"Hey, hey, shhhh... it's okay, Ava."

I blinked my wet eyes up at Ari and he brushed his thumbs across my cheeks.

"Are you alright?"

"Mmm... Yes. I am so sorry for waking you up again."

"Stop it with the sorry crap. Are you sure you're ok?"

"I am fine, really. Just dreams."

He stared at me for a long moment and took a seat on my bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Ok... but you know, talking about whatever is bothering you might help."

"I said no."

We sat there for a minute, neither of us speaking. I was still trying to calm down from my nightmare when Ari broke the silence.

" _Who_ are you?"

He looked at me with his deep dark eyes. They were burning into me while he awaited my answer. This was the second time that I had been asked the question and I still didn't know how to answer it.

"I don't know what you mean. _Who_ are you?"

"Who I am doesn't matter," he answered. After a time he asked, "Do you think it's possible to lie without saying a word?"

"Yes, Ari, I do."

"I do, too. In fact, sometimes it's impossible not to."

"Why? What lies are you telling?"

"Lies about you."

Ari stood up and walked towards the door. He paused with his hand on the door handle. "Ava, remember that if you need anything, let me know."

I watched as he closed the door behind him.

****

Rory and Emily and I spent most of our evenings together. The usual scenario was to eat dinner together and then head for the library to study. Rory and I always sat next to each other at a great big table. Ari came in to use the research section from time to time. He always said a quick hello to Rory, nothing to me, then took a seat clear across the room.

Sometimes before bed, I would find Rory out in the commons watching some stupid TV show. His boisterous laugh and his comical reactions made me laugh aloud. He and I were really becoming good friends. Every once in a while, I got the feeling that he would like to be more than just a friend, but the feeling was always fleeting and quickly faded back into friendship. Rory was cute and funny, but in my heart I knew I would never like him the way I realized he was beginning to like me.

Once I tried to explain my feelings about him to Emily and she just didn't get it. I rolled my eyes at her and pointed out the fact that she likes every guy so of course she couldn't understand. But I never once let her in on my feelings for Ari or on the fact that he visited me nearly every night when the rest of the floor was asleep. I liked Emily but I knew if I gave her gossip like that, she would spread it like wildfire.

One Wednesday evening, when I had been sitting at my desk for hours reading a literature assignment, I was startled by a pounding on my door. The pounding was followed immediately by the door flying open. I jumped and the coffee I had been drinking nearly landed in my lap.

"AVA!" Emily yelled laughingly. She had been sitting in the commons with Viola, Sam from the tenth floor, Sophie and Ari. I could see them all crowding behind her in my doorway.

"Um, hi, can I help you guys with something?"

I glanced at the clock on my computer. The clock said nine... nine at night and I was sure Em had been drinking for a while.

"Yes! Ava, we are going to this little bar off campus to check out a band. It's like Rory's brother's friend's band or something. Wanna come? You only have to be eighteen to get in . . . "

"Oh, um... thanks, but no thanks. I'm a bit younger than you and I'm not eighteen yet. Sorry."

"Oh, well, no problem there – Ari can be your date. You can get her in, can't you, Ari?"

I shot Emily a warning look that didn't even faze her. Ari caught my expression and rubbed the stubble on his cheeks.

"Yeah, sure," he nodded.

"Emily! Look at me! I'm not even dressed to go out, go on without me! I'll come out some other night."

"Whatever, Ava. Your hair looks perfect as usual. Your makeup is flawless. All you have to do is change."

Emily walked the rest of the way into my room and threw open my closet door. The rest of her entourage piled in and took up residence in my tiny space. Ari took his usual seat on my bed. Making himself at home, he played around with my open MacBook and changed the song I had playing to one of my favorite Indie rock songs.

We locked eyes and my cheeks turned pink; whenever I was with Ari, whether for fifteen minutes or three hours at two in the morning, everything seemed better. Our late nights together were a regular thing. Nightmare or not, Ari would be there at my door to check on me and talk for a bit. I had fallen for him hard. I had no clue what his feelings were for me. He rarely talked about himself and had perfected the art of answering my questions without really giving me an answer.

"Honestly, Ava, you have the best wardrobe," Sophie called from the closet. "There are things in here that aren't even on the racks yet."

Emily brought me back down to earth by yanking down a flirty dress and pulling out a pair of shoes I hadn't even worn yet. She tossed them in my direction with the command, "Get dressed!" The smile faded from my face.

I gaped at her and the rest of the group incredulously.

"Alright... I guess I'll just go and change in the bathroom," I said, looking around accusingly at the crowd in my room. I took my dress and shoes and retreated to the bathroom to get ready. I looked in the mirror. Ok, my hair is okay, I guess. I touched up my makeup, put on some lip-gloss, slid the dress over my head, put on the shoes and walked back into my room.

Emily whistled at me, linked her arm in mine, and led me out of my room. The contact was too close; I was instantly uncomfortable. I took my arm out of hers and took a few steps away. We went down to the lobby and out to the parking lot.

"Ava, you don't drink, do you?"

"No."

"Good, then you don't mind driving us, right? Your car is big enough to fit us all and we need a sober driver. Ari would drive but his car is full of surfboards or something," she said, rolling her eyes at him.

Unbelievable! They had actually dragged me out of my nice little cocoon just to take advantage of my sobriety and car space.

"Fine," I said, fishing my keys out of my little bag.

Hitting the button on my key fob, my lights blinked, my doors unlocked and everyone clambered in my car. Emily sat up front and I looked at her.

"Ok, Em, where to?"

"Oh, I have no idea how to get there."

Emily Martin, I am going to hurt you.

"Ari knows."

She hopped out of the car, opened his door and had him switch places with her. Ari climbed into the front and my mind went fuzzy. He smelled so delicious, like summertime. B _aio_ should bottle him. Margaux would make a fortune.

As soon as my engine purred to life, the gentle croons of Nick Drake rang out through the speakers. Ari smiled over at me and turned the sound down a little so he could tell me how to get to the bar.

He gave me turn-by-turn directions and I pulled into a gravel parking lot fifteen minutes later. I started getting nervous. What was I thinking of, trying to sneak into some bar? This idea was so stupid.

I looked at this group of people I hardly knew climbing out of my car. A neon sign over the door of the bar was flashing Hellenes' Hideout in blue and white. The sign had a dancing, fat man in a toga with a green vine wrapped around his head; he was holding a glass of wine. Every time the sign flashed, the wine looked as though it was spilling out of his goblet. Emily and her crew started towards the front door where the bouncer stood. He had a big shaved head and a leather vest on. His face was full of silver piercings. Lovely. My car door opened, interrupting what was becoming a panic attack. Ari held his hand out to me.

"Coming?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"Don't worry. Stay with me and you'll be fine."

The prospect of staying by Ari all night made me forget all my qualms.

I climbed out and Ari wrapped his arm around my waist, causing my stomach to do a million back flips, and walked me across the parking lot to the bar's front door. Emily and her friends had all shown their ID's and had been allowed in with no issues. Ari nodded at the door guy and he nodded back and let us in, no questions asked.

As soon as we walked through the door, Ari's arm quickly released me and he took a giant step away from me. I could feel my heart sink – so much for staying by him all night.

As soon as Ari let me go, I was quickly engulfed in a big bear hug from Rory. He picked me up off my feet and spun me around twice.

"Ava!" he hollered. "I didn't know you were coming. What an awesome surprise."

I smiled a weak smile at Rory and as he talked, he led me to a table close to where the band was setting up equipment. Rory introduced me to his brother, Nick, and Nick's friends, Collin and Misha.

Nick looked just like Rory except that he was a little taller and maybe a little leaner. He was super friendly and told me he had graduated from DPI two years ago and was now a full-time student at Pepperdine. Collin was quiet and didn't say much to me, but he still seemed pretty friendly. He had short-cropped blonde hair and dark-rimmed, square glasses. Misha was sweetly pretty and quite talkative. She told us about being in school with Nick and about being good friends with the singer in the band, Rachel. She promised the show would be a good one.

I sat down next to Nick, across the table from Rory. Ari took a seat next to Rory and talked amicably with Nick most of the evening. Emily stayed on the dance floor with Sophie, Viola and Sam. They stopped dancing just to get another drink or pee, as far as I could tell. I wasn't sure how they were getting served beer, but then again I guess Emily could pull off anything.

The band was surprisingly good. There were just two people – a girl named Rachel and her friend Nigel. Nigel played acoustic guitar and he and Rachel sang. They played many of their own songs but occasionally they did a cover to keep the audience happy.

At one point, Ari got up and went to the bar and when he came back, he set a bottle of water in front of me. I looked up at him and smiled. He quickly smiled back, sat back down with his own water, and started right back up talking with Nick and Collin.

Rory talked to me all night long and managed not to run out of conversation topics. He is just about the most outgoing person I have ever met and has a funny story for every situation. I giggled at some silly thing he said and Ari whipped his head up and looked straight at me. He had a smile on his face that stretched from ear to ear. I felt my cheeks grow hot and pink, my stomach was assaulted with all kinds of pins and needles. Ari quickly looked away and washed the smile from his face as fast as possible.

I hated the way he made me feel. I lost all my senses when he was near me. Who I am kidding? I loved the way he made me feel. I just wanted to figure out what was going on with him. Why wouldn't he talk to me? I had almost decided he was flat out embarrassed to be seen with me. Why else would he talk to me only in complete darkness when everyone else was asleep?

Rory was throwing drinks back faster than I could count. As the evening went on, he got louder and louder, then a little obnoxious.

Nick stood up and announced that he was going to take Rory back to campus. Rory protested for a while then finally gave in to a sober ride home. Misha and Collin went too. I looked over at Emily; she was nowhere near ready to leave. Rory gave me a hug goodbye and I was left at a table with Ari.

But Ari disappeared as soon as the bar door closed behind Nick and Rory. I watched him walk up to Emily and whisper something in her ear. I felt that I might cry. What was wrong with me? When had I become so pathetic?

Sitting by myself at a huge table covered with little plastic cups and empty beer bottles made me feel like a dejected loser. The guitar began to hum with the first few notes of "Pink Moon" and I couldn't help but smile a tiny bit as I stared down at my knotted fingers. "Pink Moon" was one of my favorites, no matter how sad I felt.

Out of nowhere, Ari came to my side, put his hand out, and waited for me expectantly. "Dance with me, Ava."

I looked up at him with a bemused look on my face and he wiggled his fingers waiting for me to take his hand. His beautiful smile was on his face again. I put my hand in his and he pulled me up to my feet with ease. Ari wrapped his arms around me and held me close and he swayed gracefully to the music. He didn't even bother to take me to the dance floor. We danced right there in the middle of the bar; people moved to make room for us and smiled with indulgence at our little embrace. He held my body close to his, put his forehead on mine, looked me in the eyes, and smiled. We were caught up in an unexpected moment, unexpected and absolutely wonderful.

As soon as the song ended, Ari took my hand in his, and led me out the door and to my car. The backseat was already full of Emily and her friends.

I drove us back to campus, battling the insane tension I felt in my tummy and pretending to listen to Emily blabber on about some guy she met until she got the hiccups and couldn't talk anymore. By the time we got back to campus, Emily and Viola had both turned various shades of green. They stayed outside by the bushes and Sam and Sophie helped hold their hair back.

Ari got on the elevator with me and casually leaned up against the wall next to me. Our shoulders were touching. I thought I was going to melt.

"So did you have any fun at all?"

"Yeah, I did actually. Thanks for getting me in and everything. You didn't have to do that."

"I know I didn't have to; I wanted to, and you're welcome, Ava."

He turned and we were face to face, our lips a measly inch or two apart. Ari placed a hand on the elevator wall behind me, propping himself up. My face, I could feel, was inflamed with red-hot heat. Ari brushed his fingertips against the top of my lip where my little freckle is. His hand lingered there and I felt a warm tingle spread through my whole body. My lips parted at his unexpected touch and my mouth turned bone dry. If Ari Alexander were to kiss me in this elevator, I might combust. I could feel my heart pounding. My brain was pleading with me to take a breath.

The elevator dinged loudly. Ari closed his eyes and shook his head from side to side. He pushed himself away from me and turned towards the elevator door. I watched Ari coolly move down the hall and disappear to his dorm room. Meanwhile, I was still recovering from the near kiss. I sucked in much-needed oxygen, found my bearings and walked out into the commons. Rory was seated on one of the couches watching TV; he beamed a friendly smile at me. I returned his smile with a friendly one of my own and quickly retreated to my room.

With a knotted, twisted and butterfly-infused stomach, I had a mini freak-out in my room. I sat on my bed and bit at my fingernail. I am such an idiot. I wanted him to kiss me. Was my wanting him obvious? I didn't think so. I mean he was the one who chose to stand so close, not me. What had I done to get such a cold shoulder after he had been so nice to me?

No one else in the whole world had the power to make me feel so many ridiculous emotions.

Eventually, I changed into my tee-shirt and boxers. I climbed under my blankets and cried quietly to myself. The weight of having so many sudden changes and death in my life and now sorting through these unfamiliar and uncharted feelings with this strange, beautiful boy was more than I could handle. I had been in my room a total of two lonely and pathetic hours when Ari appeared in the door way. My eyes were dewy from tears. I quickly sat up and patted under my cheeks with my blanket.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi." My voice cracked.

"Are you crying?"

_Shit_.

Ari regarded me for a moment, and I responded by wiping more tears from my eyes.

"Oh, no. Don't cry." His voice was almost panicky.

I took a deep breath and gained a small amount of composure.

"Did I do this to you?"

I shook my head no. I lied. I could see Ari's jaw clench.

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"I don't mind."

Ari walked into my room and stood at the side of my bed for a moment. He paused then turned around and walked to the bathroom. I watched him switch on the light, he searched around for a bit and seconds later, I heard the faucet run. He came back to my side and held out a glass of water.

"That's Emily's cup," I hiccupped as I wiped my nose with my shirtsleeve.

Ari smiled and then laughed.

"Don't worry, she doesn't have to know."

I took the glass and drank and when I finished, I watched Ari return to the bathroom, he rinsed the cup and then switched the light off and came back to my side. He handed me a tissue.

More tears sprang to my eyes and I wiped them away.

"Why are you doing this?"

Ari looked at me confused.

"I don't want to see you cry."

"No, Ari. Why are you doing this?" I pointed back and forth between the two of us. "Why are you so nice to me one minute and then the next minute you act like you don't know me?"

Ari shook his head from side to side. He let out a breath from his cheeks. He looked at me, opened his mouth as though he was going to say something and then closed it again. Without a word, without answering my question, Ari took a seat next to me on my bed. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug and held me tight. After a moment, Ari pulled the blanket back up over me and lay down beside me. He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling my back to his chest. His head and mine shared a pillow. I could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. I moved my body back closer to his. I could feel him adjust his arm, wrapping himself tighter around my waist. He nestled his face into my hair. After that, I fell asleep. I had no nightmares. When I woke up, he was gone. My room held the smell of him.

The rest of my nights were spent in Ari's arms.

The rest of my days were spent being ignored.

### Chapter 6

### It's Over

Friday: Mia at LAX. I was bursting at the seams with excitement. Not a whole lot of time had passed since we were last together, but it seemed like a lifetime. When we finally spotted each other through the crowds, I couldn't hold back any longer. Fat, happy tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I have missed you so much!" I yelled as I grabbed her in a hug.

"I missed you more!" she yelled back. We hugged for a minute and then stepped back to assess one another. Mia, to me, looked better than ever. We laughed and hugged each other again, then started gathering various bags, totes and carry-ons.

Arms full of the luggage, we crossed the sky bridge to the massive parking facility and found my car. We chatted as we walked and found our relationship unchanged; it was as if no time had passed between us. Eventually she got around to boys. Of course.

"So what's going on with that Rory guy?"

"Rory?" I said, scrunching up my nose. "Nothing... we're friends and that's all; he really isn't my type, Mia. He's loud and drinks and I dunno... he is funny and generous but he just doesn't do it for me."

"Ok, so what's going on then? Something is doing it for you. You look different. Your cheeks are pink and you have this little curve of a smile on your face that won't go away."

I knew my cheeks were pink; Ari and I had spent an amazing night wrapped up in my bed. We had talked and laughed together all night long.

"Um... promise you won't overreact?"

"I promise!" Mia, queen of overreacting, assured me.

I peeked at my friend from the corner of my eyes. She was going to freak.

"What do you mean?" she yelled the moment I finished telling my story. "This jackass sneaks into your room at night, sleeps in your bed, hasn't kissed you yet and won't speak to you when anyone else is around?"

"When you say it like that, it sounds seedy."

"That's because it is seedy! I can't wait to meet the guy! I am going to give him such a piece of my mind."

"Mia, you aren't going to do anything. You probably won't even see him. Now . . . deep breath, and tell me about Jack."

Mia giggled and smiled and I could tell my story of Ari was forgotten, at least for the moment. After the tales of Jack slowed down, she turned to face me in the front seat and asked, "Ava... are you doing okay? You know, about your mom and everything?"

I shrugged.

"I miss her so much, Mia. I'm having a really hard time. Anytime anything new pops up, I reach for the phone to fill her in... and then remember she isn't there to answer. Every morning when I wake up, I list in my mind what I want to share with her before school and then it hits me. She is gone. I lose her over and over again. I hate that she died. I hate death – it's so permanent and so unfair."

"Oh, Ava, I'm so sorry."

I nodded, pulled into the parking lot on campus and helped Mia bring her bags up to floor number twelve.

The very minute we were settled Emily peeked through the open bathroom door. I introduced her to Mia and, as I had expected, they hit it off right away. Before long, Rory wandered in by way of Emily's room, followed a few minutes later by Viola, Sam and Sophie. The five of them were planning to go to a rather large party at the home of a kid who lived a few minutes off campus and they urged us to join them. The floor had decided to take a pass on our regular Thursday night party and compensate with a huge party on Saturday in honor of Homecoming weekend. Evidently, the big party is an annual tradition for Floor Twelve, but Mia and I decided to hang back and do some more catching up.

My door to the commons area opened and everyone turned around to see Ari standing there. He blinked at the crowd of people and then put on an award-winning smile. I looked at the clock. He was right on schedule. I looked at Mia. She was staring at Ari... and he was looking at her with some curiosity as well. I hadn't bothered to tell him that Mia would be staying with me this weekend. He never seemed to feel the need to keep me informed about his life and so I had never even thought to give him details about Mia's arrival. A sudden vision of Ari tiptoeing into my room to join me in sleep popped into my mind and the thought of disaster averted, now that he knew Mia was visiting, made me smile a little. But Ari was not usually in the dorm over the weekends, preferring to spend time with his family. Emily had told me so. And I had grown to hate Friday and Saturday nights with a passion for this very reason.

"What are you doing?" Rory asked with a slight distaste in his tone.

Ari ignored Rory and looked at me. His eyes were so beautiful.

"Hey, Ava, sorry to bother you – can I use your notes from lit?"

He hadn't been in lit class the day before, so his excuse was valid enough.

"Why weren't you in class?"

Without him sitting behind me for the hour, I had been forced to pay attention to the professor, and I had taken impeccable class notes. Not a tragedy; I just enjoyed his close proximity.

"Optometrist," he pointed to his eyes.

With little success, I tried to erase my face-splitting grin. Ari wears reading glasses and whenever I see him with them on, I swoon. They make him look so yummy.

"Oh, sure I'll email my notes to you."

"Uh, I lost my charger and my iPad is dead. Can I borrow your Mac?"

I pointed to my bag that was hanging from my chair.

"Help yourself."

Ari walked across the room to my desk chair and unzipped my bag. It just so happened that Mia was sitting in my desk chair. I smiled at her. Her mouth was hanging open and I don't think she had blinked at all since Ari had walked in the room.

"I'm sorry to bother you; I didn't realize you had company."

Ari looked at Mia when he said this and she blushed and her mouth snapped audibly shut.

"It's no bother. Ari, this is my best friend Mia. We lived in Chicago together."

"It's nice to meet you, Mia."

"Uhh..." was Mia's only response.

Ari shook my MacBook in his hand.

"Thanks, I'll get it back to you. Later?" I knew what he meant by that.

I handed him a post-it.

"This is my password and don't worry – I won't need the Mac until Monday."

It was his turn to look surprised; his jaw dropped. He had grasped immediately the significance of my response.

"Well, I should be able to copy these notes pretty fast. I can get them back to you by tomorrow night... "

"You might be pre-occupied tomorrow; lots of people are going to be around for the Homecoming party. Let's just leave it 'til Monday. I am okay until then without the computer."

Mia gave a snort and Ari whipped his head back at her then at me. I shrugged my shoulders. He had never told me not to tell anyone about our little rendezvous.

"Ari, are you going to the party tonight?" Rory interrupted our private negotiation and Ari sighed, then pulled his eyes away from me to look at Rory.

"No, I'm not."

"Are you serious? We were all counting on you to give us a ride."

"Find someone else," he said quickly, brushing Rory aside. Ari turned his attention back to me.

"Ava, I'll bring this back later tonight."

He left before I could respond.

Rory and Emily also left once they talked Sam into staying sober. I told them they could borrow my car. Mia and I settled in and stayed up talking for a bit longer.

"So that was Ari?"

"Yep."

"Wow, Ava, I can see your predicament. He is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen."

"Mmm."

I smiled just thinking about him.

"I know. I am going to end it though. Being ignored by him when anybody is around hurts my heart too much. That's the most we have ever spoken to each other in front of people. When no one else is around, we talk for hours. I can't keep up with it any longer."

"Your idea is a good one, then; you need some stability in your relationships. And I still think you are way too good for him."

Mia and I both tried to fall asleep in my tiny twin size bed. It wasn't nearly as comfortable with her in it as it was with Ari. I tossed and turned and then gave up and tried to sleep in my fluffy chair.

At two in the morning, Ari opened my door. Mia had been asleep for over an hour. He walked quietly to my chair and put out his hand. I looked up at him and then back down to his outstretched palm.

I should tell him to go to hell.

He wiggled his fingers and I put my hand in his. He pulled me to my feet and walked with me out the door and into his room. Ari led me to his bed and then walked back to his bathroom door and locked it. He pulled me down on to the bed with him and snuggled my face up close to his chest. I could hear the soft beat of his heart.

"Ari, I... I think we need to talk."

"Ok," he nodded his head. My fingers accidentally brushed up against his hand and he grabbed on and locked his around mine. He wrapped one of his legs around me too and held me tight and close to his body. My mind raced as I thought of what it was I wanted to say. I felt the tiniest kiss on the top of my head. My eyes closed with a flutter, and I was whisked away to a very happy place in my dreams.

Ari woke with a jolt. We were completely knotted up in each other. Our fingers were still intertwined and my other hand was covering his face. Our legs were like pretzels. He jumped up, knocking my hand off his face and I gasped. He threw his free hand over my mouth to quiet me. Someone was pounding on his bathroom door. Ari wiggled our knotted fingers free with force.

"Dude, what the hell? Let me in!" Rory sounded truly aggravated at having been denied access to his suitemate's space.

"Ava, you need to leave, now!" Ari said to me through clenched teeth. I could feel a tiny sting of tears in my eyes. Rory pounded on the bathroom door again and Ari grabbed my arm and pulled me across his room to his door. He threw it open and nearly pushed me out in the hallway. I stood outside the door confused and hurt. I heard him unlock and open his bathroom door.

"What do you want?" he snapped at Rory.

"Nothing, relax. I was just wondering if you had seen Ava this morning. Her friend is looking for her."

"I just woke up, Rory, so what do you think?"

"Dude, you're such a jerk. It's ten o'clock in the morning. Learn to wake up at a reasonable hour like the rest of us."

I heard Ari's bathroom door slam and I rushed the two steps to my room and closed the door behind me. Mia rushed to my side and engulfed me in a hug.

"Where were you?"

Pointing at the wall, I indicated that I had been with Ari.

"I am such an idiot."

I told her how I had gone with him to his room the night before, planning to talk with him and end our relationship, such as it was, but had instead curled up with him in bed and how, when he kissed my head, I melted and lost all my nerve and couldn't go through with the breakup – or whatever it would have been.

"He kicked me out this morning. I have never felt so rejected in all my life."

Mia let go of me and stormed out of the room. She slammed my door and threw open Ari's.

"Can I help you?" I heard him say.

"Yeah, leave her the hell alone. She's too good for you. You are nothing but a piece of shit."

She slammed his door and came back in a matter of seconds. I was in shock.

"Don't let him get to you, Ava. Clearly he is messed up."

I nodded. Something definitely was up with Ari.

"I can't believe you did that, Mia!"

"Ava," she sighed, "it needed to be done... you should have seen him, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I stormed in there and caught him completely by surprise and..."

"Oh, God, Mia, please tell me he was still dressed."

She giggled. "If he hadn't been, Ava, I wouldn't have been able to do what I did. He was sitting in his bed with his head in his hands. He looked... I don't know, he looked so devastated."

"Well, that makes two of us."

"Oh, honey, don't worry. This will work out, but you can't allow him to treat you that way."

Mia and I spent the day at a spa for her birthday. I treated both of us to a mani-pedi, facial and massage. Sitting back while someone attended to me was relaxing and helped keep me from thinking of Ari. Anxiety had been building over the last couple of weeks and now all of it had hit home. Ari was not good for me. It was time to move on.

****

Our floor had arranged a big dinner together at a restaurant in town for Saturday evening. Half the people piled up in my car and the other half in Ari's. When we got there, I sat between Mia and Rory. Ari sat across from me and down a seat. I refused to look at him. I laughed and carried on conversation much more than I normally would and tried to make obvious the fact that he didn't bother me.

There was an entirely different story going on inside my head. I wanted to hide in a hole and fill it with tears. I was miserable and I hated the fact that I had let a guy make me feel this way. Strength and independence – these had been my defenses. But Ari had tumbled the walls down in a single night.

After our group dinner, we arrived back at the dorms for the Homecoming party and our floor got more and more crowded. Indy pop music was blaring from someone's speakers. People played drinking games with cards, games with cups and games with Ping-Pong balls. The party was loud but definitely fun. I think the entire school showed up at one point or another during the evening.

"He's staring at you."

"Mia, stop looking at him!"

"Oh! He's talking to some girl. You're safe to peek; he isn't looking."

I spun my head around really quick and spied Ari talking to Julia.

"That's his ex-girlfriend."

"Oh, wow, she's beautiful."

"Yes, and unbelievably nice, too, so stop it!"

"Don't worry, Ava; you are a thousand times prettier than she is."

I rolled my eyes. "Mia, just drop it."

"Oh, oh! She's yelling at him."

"Mia!" I whispered fiercely as I grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me.

"Stop it; I can't stand to think about him any longer!"

"I'm sorry. You're right. Why don't you just focus on Rory; it's obvious he likes you!"

"We aren't like that, Mia... he just isn't my type."

"What? Good looking, nice and funny isn't your type? He even makes a point of talking to you in front of people. Actually, he can't take his eyes off you either."

She focused her attention in Rory's direction and he came over to drape his arms around our shoulders.

We hung around the rest of the night with no more talk of Ari. Not talking of him didn't stop my mind from going back to him every ten seconds, though. He was so incredibly nice when we were alone. Why couldn't he just be like that all the time?

We slept in on Sunday. Mia started to pack her bags a little after nine. We were going to L.A. to shop and she had to catch a flight home in the evening. I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when I heard a knock at my door.

"What?" Mia snapped.

"Uh... may I speak to Ava?"

"No."

"No?"

"She doesn't want to talk to you."

"Seriously?"

I don't think Ari was used to being told no.

I pulled my dorm door all the way open and took the foamy toothbrush out of my mouth.

"What?"

"Can I talk to you?"

I gave Ari a slightly impatient look as though I were waiting for him to tell me whatever he had on his mind. His eyes bounced from me to Mia.

"Ok..." he said after Mia refused to leave. "I wanted to tell you I am sorry for yesterday. Actually, I wanted to tell you I am sorry for everything. I haven't been treating you right and you deserve much, much better than me. What can I do to make it up to you, Ava?"

"I don't want you to make it up to me, Ari; I just don't want you in my life anymore."

"You can't mean that."

"I do."

"Please, Ava; let me make it up to you... please."

"Do you like me Ari?"

He stood in the hallway outside my room and his eyes burned into mine.

"Yes. I more than like you, Ava."

"Then maybe you should have acted like it when you had a chance," I said and closed the door. Behind me, Mia was speechless with her jaw on the ground.

"That's right, Ava! Make him work for it."

Saying goodbye to Mia was hard. I didn't want her to leave. We both cried and hugged for an hour before her plane was called. I promised to visit over Christmas and we were already making plans for somewhere far away for spring break.

"You have only nine months left, Ava. Then you'll be eighteen and you can come home. We'll get an apartment together."

I nodded my head.

"Nine months. I can do that."

"You can do anything. Good luck with Ari, I know you really like him. I have never seen you like this before. Just please don't get hurt."

### Chapter 7

### The Alexanders

Late October. No more secret nights with Ari. He attempted to redeem himself by starting conversations with me in class and in the hallways smiling at me and trying to ask me questions about my weekend or homework, and I always answered him politely and walked away. Not that I had gotten over him, oh no! Truth be told, I didn't think I would ever get over him. He was on my mind all the time . . . and talking with him any longer than necessary made my heart hurt.

I took to eating lunch with Emily and Rory, sitting at the big table in the cafeteria. Surrounding myself by others, I decided, would be my best defense. And anyway, they pushed me hard to join them, and I did find that having company beat eating alone in my lit classroom. Once Ari sat in the open seat next to me, but with great effort I ignored him and refused to glance in his direction. He turned to me and tried to talk. I grabbed my books in an attempt to look pre-occupied and walked to class early without giving him any acknowledgment.

He tried to talk to me later in lit.

"Hey, Ava."

I looked up at him, then back down at my MacBook.

"Are you going to Rory's party on Saturday?"

"No."

Actually, I had been considering going to the party but hadn't made any real plans yet.

"Well, maybe we could go together." His statement sounded more like a question.

My heart stuck in my throat and my palms were so sweaty I had to give them a quick wipe on my jeans to dry them. I caught my breath but continued to look down at my computer screen. If I looked up at Ari, I would crack, swoon and accept the offer.

"No, thank you."

"Oh. Well, I hope to you see you there anyway."

Ari took his seat and I put my face in my hands, mentally screaming at myself for not accepting his invitation. Not a single word of the professor's lecture made it to my brain.

Later, Rory and I were walking back to the dorm from the library when he brought up his beach party.

"So, yeah," he said rubbing the back of his head, "I've been wondering if you plan to be there."

"Yes, of course I'll be there. I haven't done anything fun in weeks."

A break from school and the dorms would be a relief, and Rory was one of my best friends here in California – not going would be rude.

Rory looked relieved and put his arm back down.

"Great! I'm going to be at home all day helping out, but I'll come back here and pick you up at seven."

My mouth went dry. I hadn't realized he was asking me to go with him.

"Uh. You don't have to pick me up. I can drive – just give me the address."

"Absolutely not. I want to pick you up – no big deal at all."

Crap! "Um, Ok," I agreed, sincerely hoping that by doing so I was not implying that I saw us as an item.

We arrived back at the dorm and he stopped in front of my room. I watched as Ari walked by, and was momentarily spellbound. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, and agreed to meet Rory in the downstairs foyer at seven Saturday evening.

****

" _Mom, please, you can't go."_

" _I have to, Ava."_

" _Fine, go, but don't get in that car with him."_

" _You are being ridiculous."_

" _Mom, I saw it happen! You can't get in that car with Dr. Spruce!"_

" _I have to do this, Ava."_

My mother's words woke me to the sound of my screams. I was drenched in a cold sweat. A quick glance at my clock told me the time was barely 5 a.m., but there was no way I wanted to fall back asleep. My nightmares were back in full swing and I had had enough for one night. Dragging myself out of bed, I added another tally mark to my crumpled paper, cleaned up, grabbed a coffee and spent my day doing some research for class. My reward for so much work was hitting the gym. Six miles relieved me of most of my anxiety and I felt better when I returned to my dorm. A new email from Mia awaited me.

She was gushing about Jack. He had finally asked her out on a real date. Even as beautiful and as nice as Mia is, she has the worst luck with guys, and I was happy she had found someone that made her happy.

Halfway through my reply to Mia, the bathroom door swung open and Emily and Viola trooped in.

"Hey, Ava," Emily said, throwing herself on my bed, "you want to come to Rory's party with us tonight? They're usually pretty fun."

"Actually," I said as I bit down on my bottom lip, "I am going, but Rory is picking me up." I grimaced.

Emily had a grin from ear to ear.

"I knew he was into you! I knew it!" she exclaimed. "You two are going to hook up before the end of the night, I bet you!"

"Em, I swear we're just friends! Nothing more than that!" I laughed and shook my head at her.

"We'll see," Emily said with a smile as she and Vi left my room to get ready.

I finished my quick email to Mia by demanding details, then hopped in the shower.

Nervous and unsure, I took my time getting ready, making sure everything was perfect. I left my hair loose, falling down my back and paid special attention to the little amount of makeup I wore.

The question of what to wear was a difficult one. Not sure what outfit would be best, I stared into the darkness of my closet until I finally settled on a short denim skirt and a distressed, gray hooded sweatshirt. Paring the clothes with some cute black flip-flops, I was finally ready to go. I walked outside with Emily and Viola and waited for Rory.

He appeared right at seven, just as he had said he would. What his parents did for a living I had no idea, but his car was awesome – a black 1983 jaguar xj6 in mint condition. Super expensive car, I knew for a fact. Actually I had already decided all of the cars I had seen at DPI were too nice for eighteen year olds. In Chicago nearly everyone had walked to school or took public transportation. We also had worn uniforms – they were mandatory – so no one really stood out . . . except me, of course. Somehow, though, I didn't stand out at Dana Point. People gave me a quick look, accepted what they saw and then moved on. Being accepted was an odd feeling, nice but definitely surreal.

Rory's house was only fifteen minutes away from school, at least for him. Then again, he sped the whole way there and I had no idea how long the trip would have taken me. I do know that we passed Emily on the highway and beat her there by five minutes.

Rory's home was beautiful. It sat right in front of the beach and was huge. Inside, the main floor rooms were packed with people. Rory introduced me to his mother, Gianna, and his dad, Thais. Gianna gave me a huge hug and pinched me on the cheek, telling me how nice it was to meet me. She was short with reddish brown hair and olive colored skin. Her nails were nicely manicured and she was impeccably dressed. Rory's older brother, Nick, was there too and he gave me a one-armed-hug and told me it was nice to see me again.

Rory threw open the fridge and grabbed a beer and then we walked outside towards the beach, Rory swaggering just a bit in the way that some guys do. In fact, Rory reminded me of a frat guy -- he nearly always wore a baseball hat, khaki shorts and a hooded sweatshirt. He was stocky, but in the 'I work out' kind of way. Nevertheless, no matter how hard I might try to "like" him, Rory would just never be my type. My thoughts made a transition to Ari and I immediately shook my head and concentrated on walking on the sandy beach.

A fire was blazing and the crowd around it was enormous. There were many people there I recognized from school. I saw Julia and some of the girls from the ninth floor that she hung around with. Collin, Nick's friend, was there. I thought I saw Ari out of the corner of my eye but I refused to let myself look for him.

I hung around Rory for a while but branched off to talk with Emily and Viola after an hour or so. Viola had just officially started dating Sam and she ditched us as soon as he joined the party. Emily and I shared a beach chair and talked with a few more of her friends for quite some time. Eventually, I set off in search of a bathroom.

I walked up to the house; everything was quiet. Everybody, it seemed, was outside on the beach, schmoozing and admiring the bonfire. I walked through the kitchen and into a hallway, trying to remember what Rory had said was behind the various doors. I opened a door at the end of the hall thinking it opened to a powder room, but quickly discovered I was very wrong.

The room was dark but thanks to the moonlight, I could see Rory on bed energetically making out with someone. He jumped up, still fully clothed, thank goodness, and stuttered out an agonized apology.

"Holy hell, Ava, I am so sorry. I swear this isn't what it looks like."

I put my hands up in a surrendering way and tried to back out of the room.

"It's totally fine, Rory. I didn't mean to interrupt," I said, and I eased the door shut behind me. A second closed door did reveal a bathroom, which I used before bolting back outside in search of fresh air. I was too caught up in the surprise to even notice who had been with him, and I really didn't care. Rory and I were friends and that was all I had ever intended for us.

I couldn't help but feel a little discouraged, though, discouraged and lonely. The only real people I had in my life were Margaux and Mia. Mia was half way across the country and Margaux was only in my life because she had to be; I was sure I would never see her again once I turned eighteen. I walked through Rory's back yard and sat down on one of the two old wooden swings they had hanging from a tree. I found myself wishing I had not agreed to come to the party at all. I sat there for a while trying to talk myself out of crying when a soft, deep voice startled me.

"Hey, Ava, what are you doing out here all alone?"

_Oh, holy hell_ , I inwardly swooned. I loved hearing Ari say my name. It made me want to melt.

"Um," I said stalling, looking for words, "I'm just waiting for Rory to finish up in there so I can get a ride home."

Ari laughed quietly as he took a seat in the open swing, sitting in the opposite direction so he was facing me.

"You saw that, huh? Unfortunately so did I."

I nodded, agreeing that finding Rory making out with someone in the dark had been an unfortunate discovery.

"Look," Ari said rubbing the stubble on his cheeks, "Rory really likes you a lot, Ava. Don't take that scene in there too personally."

I rolled my eyes at Ari.

"Rory and I are just friends. He can do whatever he wants."

Ari looked at me, realization lighting up his eyes.

"Ah. . .so. . . you really are okay?"

"Yes, of course I am. We're just friends. Regrettably, tonight he is also my ride. Why? Are you okay?"

My tone was slightly sarcastic, but he answered me honestly anyway. Ari gave me his megawatt smile and said, "Ava, I have never been better."

Ari stood up and grabbed my hand, sending a tingling flash of heat all though my body. He pulled me to my feet with ease and held me close to him. I breathed in his sweet scent just before he took a step towards the back gate, taking me along with him.

He didn't let go of my hand as he led me through the crowd and down the beach. I didn't really care where he was leading me. The fact that my hand was in his was turning my brains to mush. Ari walked me up to the back of a neighboring house and led me onto the deck.

The house was enormous and the entire back was glass, ensuring a view of the ocean from nearly every room. The back deck was unlike anything I had ever seen. A beautiful pool took up the center space. An outdoor fireplace surrounded by cozy, intimate seating was to one side of the pool and on the other side was a full bar, a hot tub and more couches and chairs.

Ari slid the glass door to the house open and invited me in with him. The inside of the house was even more stunning than the outside. There were very few walls to break the vision, dark hardwood covered the floors, and various shades of creams and fawn softened the walls. The furniture was plush and comfortable looking. Everything was elegant, yet the overall feeling I got from the house was one of welcome. I took a cautious step through the door as Ari yelled, "Hello!"

In response, a beautiful, younger, girl-version of Ari appeared.

"What are you doing home so early?" the girl asked him. "And who is this?" she added with a sly smile.

Ari ignored her first question and said, "Ava, this is my sister, Lauren."

Lauren strolled the rest of the way into the kitchen and actually gave me a hug; she caught me off guard but for whatever reason I was surprised to find that my usual aversion to being physically near other people didn't kick in; I didn't mind her being close to me at all. In fact, the hug was quite nice.

"Please, please tell me that you are Ari's new girlfriend."

I actually laughed aloud at her boldness, and my laugh turned Ari's horrified expression into a relieved smile.

"No," I responded, "I'm definitely not – sorry to disappoint you."

Lauren released me from her hug and shrugged, then turned her attention back to Ari.

"So what are you doing then?"

"Leaving," he answered her simply.

"You've got to be joking! You just got here. I've hardly even gotten to talk to you."

"I'm not joking. I've been home all day; it's not my fault you were grounded and couldn't go next door."

His response was in a sardonic tone, but a playful grin never left his lips. Lauren looked dejected at the idea of Ari leaving and the sweetness of their relationship made me smile. Most of the brothers and sisters I knew couldn't stand to be around each other.

"Why are you leaving, anyway?" She asked him.

"I am taking Ava back to campus and I don't feel like driving all the way back here just to fall asleep. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Ugh," Lauren pouted. "What time are you coming tomorrow then?"

"Jeez, what's with the twenty questions tonight, Lauren?"

She just stared at him and waited for him to answer.

"Fine," he started, "I'll be here in the afternoon and I will be at your beck and call for the rest of the day."

This seemed to appease her and she smiled up at him.

"Are you going to come too, Ava?" she asked catching me completely off guard for the second time.

"Uh, no, I'm not," I said, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.

Lauren opened her mouth to make another comment, but just then, a gorgeous woman walked through the door to the patio, trailed by a clean-cut, handsome older man.

Oh, my gosh, I know this guy.

Well, I didn't really know him but I had seen him at my grandfather's memorial service. He had spoken from the podium. He and my grandpa had run a foundation together. My grandpa had been an eager advocate for helping children get out of the foster care system and placing them in more permanent homes. After Ari's dad had finished his comments, I accidently bumped into him, causing his coffee to spill onto his shirt and suit. I hoped like hell that he didn't recognize me.

I saw Ari sigh and tilt his head back in annoyance. The woman had a grin on her face that stretched from ear to ear.

"Ava," Ari said, and once again, I felt as if I might melt, "these are my parents Aggie and Andrew." Aggie came over and hugged me just as Rory's mother had.

"Ari has told me all about you."

Shocked by her comment, I peeked over at Ari to see him grimace at his mom.

"What are you two doing?" she spoke sweetly before letting me go. Ari repeated what he had told his sister, explaining that we were on our way out and that he was taking me back to campus since Rory had screwed the pooch and that he would be back the next day in the afternoon.

"Ok, honey," she said. "Ava, will you be joining us tomorrow as well?"

I repeated the answer I had given Lauren, but, unlike Lauren, Aggie did not plan to take "no" for an answer.

"But, Ava, we would absolutely love to have you join us," she said in an honest, welcoming way, as if my coming to crash their Sunday afternoon of family time was exactly, precisely, what she had been hoping for.

Thankfully, Ari stepped in and told them that we had to leave. They said goodbye, each family member hugging him in turn, and he pulled me out of the house and into the garage. He opened the passenger-side door to a white Range Rover and I climbed in. The whole car smelled like him and I felt as though I could wrap myself up in the delicious scent. The slamming of his car door brought me back to reality.

"Sorry about that. They can be a little overly enthusiastic."

"Oh no, don't apologize – they're really sweet."

"Yeah, they are," he said fondly as he pulled out of the driveway onto the street. About a thousand questions milled about in my mind. There was just so much I wanted to ask him, but I kept my mouth shut. The possibility of saying something stupid was just too likely.

Ari had _Ra Ra Riot_ playing through the speakers and turned up "Can You Tell," a truly awesome song, and started to sing along with the tune. I couldn't help but laugh while he hit his hands on the wheel along with the beat. I found myself liking him even more than I already secretly did.

"What's so funny? This is a great song."

"I agree," I grinned. "I just didn't know you were the _Ra Ra Riot_ type."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Ava Baio," he said in a semi-playful tone.

We drove the rest of the way in silence. He held the entrance door to the building open for me and called for the elevator. We stepped on the lift together and this time, I was on one wall of the elevator and he stayed on the opposite side.

"Um . . . " I said trying to fill the empty silence, " . . . thanks a lot for the ride. I appreciate it, but you didn't have to."

"I know I didn't have to. I wanted to, and you are most welcome, Ava."

When we got to the twelfth floor, I found that I didn't at all feel like sleeping. Ari and I were the only two on the floor. Everybody else was either still at Rory's or had gone home for the weekend. I took advantage of the quiet hall and sat at the piano. Ari sat on the couch, turned CNN on and then muted it, preferring to read the running tape of news at the bottom of the screen. My mom used to do the very same thing and suddenly I felt nostalgic and sad. I turned and faced the piano keys and began to play.

Whenever I sing along with the piano, I sing in French, giving in to a habit I could not shake. For me, songs rendered in English lack the emotion and beauty the French language can elicit. This time I played my favorite _Coeur De Pirate_ song, "Place de la Republique," and when I was done I stood up and turned back to go to my room. Ari had been watching me, staring at me really. Right away, I was self-conscious.

"That was incredible. How long have you been able to do that?"

"Thanks, but it wasn't incredible. It was just ok . . .and I started playing the piano when I was three."

I took another step towards my room and he spoke again.

"How did you learn to sing in French like that?"

"Uh," I said, "French is actually my first language. I lived in Montréal until I was thirteen."

Because my mother's native language was English, both French and English had been used in my home on a daily basis. When I am around English-speaking people, I speak English without an accent. My French usually throws people off when they first hear me using it, and then I get peppered with a hundred different questions.

Ari just gave me a smile and said, "Oh. Well, that song was really pretty."

"Thank you," I said in a small voice. "Goodnight."

"Good night, Ava," Ari said, sending a delightful heat all through my body.

I made my way to my room and put on a camisole and a pair of silky pajama bottoms. I pulled down the blanket and right before I shoved my pillow over my head I heard Ari's door shut. I was comforted for some reason to know that there was only a small wall in between us. I felt safe. I tried to suppress this insubstantial feeling of security, based as it was on a flimsy drywall barrier, and push Ari out of my thoughts.

****

"Ava."

My grandpa called to me from behind his closed door. I saw his name, Perry Baio, on the nameplate and tried to suppress the chills that ran down my back.

"Ava, come."

For the very first time I opened one of the doors in the hospital. My cold scissors in my hand.

"Papa?" I called.

My grandpa was there, in the bed he had always had at his home. I could smell Margaux's perfume -- _baio, For Women_ ; the lavender and vanilla scent hung lightly in the air.

"It's me, Ava. Don't be scared; come."

I walked into the room and my grandpa reached his hand out to me. It trembled and shook. I put his hand in mine and rubbed his bumpy knuckles with my thumb.

"It is my time. I need you to allow me to leave."

His voice was scratchy and rough.

"What? What are you talking about, Papa?"

He nodded at my scissors.

"Cut the thread, Ava, please."

I held my scissors up and he smiled.

"Remember, Ava that I love you. Tell your mother I love her, too, very much."

"Grandpa... I don't understand."

"Please."

Taking the red, beautiful thread in my hands, I watched the colors swirl. In one swift motion, I took the thread across the blade and sliced it in two. Monitors beeped all around me. Bile rose up in my chest. Panic set in; my heart pounded as though it might explode.

****

Beeping turned to knocking and my head pounded with the noise. I blinked my eyes open, disentangled myself from the blankets and climbed out of bed. I grabbed my cell off the little table by my bed: holy hell, ten o'clock! I had slept that late only one other time in my life. I quickly shoved that memory out of my mind, walked by the mirror to give myself a quick once over, and shrugged. Not too much I could do about my sleepy looking state.

I assumed Viola or Sophie or Emily, or maybe even all three, had knocked at the door to demand details of the night before, but instead I found Ari, holding two cups of coffee. My breath caught in my throat. He was so handsome. His hair was still damp from a shower. He had on jeans with a pair of loafers and a button-down white oxford with the sleeves casually rolled half way up his arms. A modern day Adonis standing before me in my dorm room.

"Hi?" I said with uncertainty.

"Morning!" He handed me a cup of coffee and confidently walked into my dorm room making himself at home in my fluffy chair. "Sleep well?" he asked.

"Uh, I've slept better," I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

The corners of Ari's lips pulled up into a smile. "Me, too." His eyes sparkled as he spoke. "So what are you doing today?" he asked.

I shook my head. I hated the weekends; they could be so empty and tedious.

"Nothing," I admitted pathetically.

"Good, because Lauren has not stopped texting me to see if you are coming over to our house today," he held up his iPhone to show me the multitude of texts from his sister.

I gaped at him incredulously.

"You cannot be serious. Why on Earth would you want me to intrude on your family thing?"

"But of course I am serious, and you won't be intruding on anything. A lot of people come over on Sundays. We actually have fun. You'll know other people – Rory and Nick will be there, and, um, Julia, and besides, Lauren will not leave me alone if I don't bring you with me. I'll never hear the end of it. And I don't like telling her no."

"Why would Rory and Julia be there?" was my only response. If he thought I wanted to come along just to see Rory, he was wrong. Rory and I definitely needed to talk, but I was okay with pushing that conversation aside for another day.

Ari smiled at me as if I should have known the answer to my question already.

"Rory and I are cousins, Ava. Our dads are brothers and you know how Greeks are. Or... maybe you don't. And, umm, well, Julia lives there."

What the hell, his ex-girlfriend lives with him? Not good.

"Are you going to explain that any further?"

"Not... right now."

Ok, later, I could deal with that. At least there was the promise of explanation in the future. We were getting somewhere.

He smiled a huge hopeful smile.

"You already said you didn't have anything else to do and if you say no," he added, putting his hand over his heart, "I will be hurt."

I knew he was teasing but it still made my heart skip a beat.

"Ok, fine," I agreed and I shooed him out of my room. I tried to wash my nerves away in the hot shower. I dressed quickly, deciding on a new pair of jeans I got from Margaux's store and one of her tops and paired it with my favorite black-and-white striped shoes. I met Ari in the commons and we made our way down to his Range Rover.

We arrived at Ari's house and Lauren let out a squeal of delight. The house was packed full of people. I sucked in a deep breath and braced myself for the onslaught of personal space invasion. The kitchen was full of women all gossiping and laughing while the men sat at the dining room table playing cards and passing a bottle of ouzo around. People gathered on the back deck and on the sun porch; the house was literally packed with Ari's family and their friends.

When we walked in, everyone greeted Ari. Each one of them kissed his cheeks and hugged him as he introduced them to me. Once, he even put his arm around my waist. I let out a quick gasp and he quickly removed it and gave me a shy, apologetic smile. His touch was unexpected but surprisingly welcome. I could have kicked myself for reacting. I had been longing to have his arm wrapped around me again for weeks.

There were familiar faces, just as Ari had promised; I spied Julia in the kitchen talking with Rory's mom, Gianna. I had not yet seen Rory, but I heard his booming laugh coming from the other room. The bouncer and bartender from Hellenes' Hideout were there along with Sarah and some of the other kids from school and their families. Mrs. Cali and Dean P. from DPI were even there. Aggie, Ari's mom, came up and gave me a big welcoming hug.

"Ava, I am so happy you decided to come."

She really was beautiful, tall and slender, eyes a bold brown just like Ari's, her hair straight and silky and resting ever so lightly on her delicate shoulders. Her smile was huge and genuine and her lips were full and soft pink.

"Me, too," I said. "Thanks for inviting me."

"You'll always be welcome here, Ava."

Before I could start pondering the significance of her phrasing, Lauren stole me away from the crowd. I happily went with her. Something about Lauren made me fall in love with her. She was so sweet and funny, not to mention the fact that she was drop-dead gorgeous. Stressing out over her Halloween costume, she demanded my assistance. She made sure I knew that she was all of fifteen years old and wasn't even thinking of going trick or treating. She, I was informed, would be attending her very first Halloween party.

I am actually something of an ace when it comes to Halloween costumes. For myself, I strongly dislike the holiday. The idea of going door-to-door, begging for candy, is absurd. But my mother always helped me with my costume, and the yearly ritual of creating something together was important to me, so I was glad to help Lauren. She wanted to go as a butterfly, which was simple enough. I sat with her in her room with some sheer fabric, wire and a hot glue gun and we went to work on some sparkly wings.

I was about an hour into the costume, just putting on the finishing touches, when Ari walked through the door.

"I have been looking all over for you," he said, sounding relieved.

"Well, I've been in here the whole time," Lauren said with a cute, playful grin on her face.

Ari smiled back at her and rolled his eyes. He put out his hand and wiggled his fingers, waiting for me to grab on so he could pull me off the floor. I hesitated for a moment and then put my hand in his, feeling the warm delightful tingle all through my body. He pulled me up with ease, standing me up right next to him. We were so close to each other that I could hear his heartbeat. Then the disturbing thought came to me that if I could hear his heart, he could probably hear mine, and at the moment mine was racing. Lauren cleared her throat and I stepped away a bit, feeling embarrassed, as she started showing off her new costume.

I had to admit the butterfly wings were pretty awesome. Ari gave his approval and then led me out of the room.

We headed into the living room, which was huge and full of people. I was struck again by the size of the space and by the fact that one entire wall was of glass. Windows that reached up into the vaulted ceiling allowed an unblocked view of the ocean. A baby grand was tucked into one corner of the room and I pointed to it.

"Do you play?" I asked Ari curiously.

"Ha, no way! None of us can play," he answered with a laugh. "It's just for looks, sort of pathetic actually."

"I heard that, Ari," Aggie said from behind us, holding her hands on her hips.

"That piano belonged to a dear friend of ours – he left it to us when he passed." Aggie frowned at the thought. "Ava, why don't you play something for us? Ari told me you were very talented."

Looking around the packed room full of new faces, I shook my head.

"Uh, maybe another time; playing is kind of a personal thing for me. I don't really play for other people too much."

My statement brought a small smile to Ari's face. Admitting my shyness aloud made me feel incredibly foolish and I wished I had not mentioned the piano at all.

Rory walked into the room and saw me for the first time. He walked across the sea of people and put his hand on my elbow.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

Excusing myself from the group, I followed him out of the living room, through the kitchen and out onto the deck. We took a seat on one of the wraparound outside couches by the fireplace.

"Ava," he started then stopped again, taking a deep breath. "I am so sorry about last night. Seriously, I didn't mean for that to happen."

I let out a small laugh; clearly, Rory was distraught about his behavior of the previous evening. I had never seen him look so down.

"Forget about it, Rory," I said with a smile as I bumped his shoulder with mine. "You don't have anything to apologize for; it's totally fine."

He ran his fingers through his short hair.

"No, Ava, it's not. I really like you a lot and I don't know what happened. I'm such an idiot."

The conversation was making me feel super uncomfortable; I squirmed in my seat, took a deep breath, and then turned back to him.

"Rory, listen, I like you, but... I don't think I share the same kind of feelings that you do. You have been my friend since I've been here. No one has been as welcoming and as nice to me as you have. You make me laugh, and you do such a good job at being yourself that it makes it easier for me to be myself. If that even makes sense. Anyway, you're my friend and I don't ever want to jeopardize that."

"Yeah, ok, I understand," Rory said, as a flash of relief came over me. "Are we cool?"

"Definitely," I answered nodding my head. We stood up and started to walk back inside, Rory paused and turned back towards me.

"So what are you doing here anyway?"

"Err. . . umm. . ." I paused, unsure of what direction my answer should take.

"Lauren wanted me to help her with her costume."

Okay, I gave him a partial truth and felt a little guilty leaving some stuff out, but Rory just nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that sounds like Lauren."

We got back inside just in time for everyone to gather in the eat-in kitchen for dinner. Most of the family's friends had gone, leaving just Ari and Rory's immediate family, Julia, and myself. Julia and I smiled at each other.

Ari came up next to me, causing my stomach to flip.

"What was that all about?" he whispered almost intimately into my ear, causing lovely shivers to dance up and down my back.

"Nothing really – we were just getting a few things straightened out."

Ari pulled out a chair for me at the table. Normally, I would have felt really out of place sitting at a dinner table with a huge family I had just met. Oddly, though, I felt right at home. I sat between Lauren and Ari and across from Rory. I laughed at conversations and answered most of the questions people threw at me. I did get uncomfortable when I caught Ari's father, Andrew, staring at me on a few different occasions. I had gotten the same feeling from him the night before. He was just looking at me, not in a creepy way but more in a curious way.

"Ava," he finally spoke, "do I know you from somewhere?"

"No, I don't think so. Well... actually, yeah, kind of." I looked down and played with the hem on my napkin. "I sort of ran you over a few months ago at Perry Baio's memorial service causing you to spill your coffee." I could feel my cheeks turning pinker by the second.

Andrew laughed aloud and shook his finger playfully at me.

"I remember that, and I thought I recognized you then, but you walked off before I could actually talk to you. Are you sure we have never met before that? You look so familiar to me. . .are you from the area?"

Ari spoke up before I could answer, "Dad, you don't know her. She's from Canada."

"Well, actually," I said correcting him. "I was born here in California; my mother and I moved to Montréal when I was still a baby. We lived there until I was thirteen, then moved to Chicago. I had to move back here after, uh," I paused, "after she died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Ava," Andrew responded solemnly.

"What was your mother's name, may I know?"

"Lucy Baio. She was Perry and Margaux's daughter."

"Oh, so you were related to Perry? Once again, I am sorry for your loss." Andrew's eyes scrunched up at the corners in thought. "I know Margaux quite well actually. We are good friends and we run a foundation together, but to be perfectly honest with you I did not know she had a child, let alone a grandchild."

Boy, did this not surprise me.

"My mom was adopted. They weren't close."

"That's not how I know you," he continued. "What about your father, what's his name?"

"Well," I paused again, "I never met him. He died when I was born, but his name was Adrian Moirai."

As soon as the words left my mouth the room went completely silent, aside from a few gasps and the clanging of silverware falling onto plates.

Oh, crap. I should have just said I didn't know the name of my father. Why did I have to go and open my foolish mouth?

Rory was the first to break the silence. He stood up fast, causing his chair to rub against the floor loudly.

"I knew it!" he said in his booming voice. "I knew she was one of us! I knew it from the minute I first saw her."

Ari stood up, looking extremely angry.

"We all knew she was one of us, you idiot. Weren't you just listening? She's Baby!"

Rory retorted by getting louder and rolling his eyes.

"She's not Baby!"

"Rory, yes she is. She just said so," Ari had an exhausted tone.

Rory thought about it for a second and his triumphant smile faltered.

"I just figured she had some small part of us in her . . . I didn't think she was Baby. I asked her who she was and she didn't know what I was talking about."

"Of course she didn't know, Rory. She's been missing for seventeen years."

Rory got even louder.

"I don't know why the hell it matters to you so much, Ari..."

Ari was about to open his mouth again when Aggie and Gianna both stood up from their seats.

"Enough," they both commanded, and then Aggie looked back and forth between the boys. "Remember your manners when we are at the dinner table. And try to remember that you two used to be friends; it's high time you started acting like friends again."

I was confused and growing increasingly ill at ease with all the stares. Andrew stood up calmly.

"Ava, pay no attention to Ari and Rory. They seem to be having the same issues as last year."

He glanced over at Julia, then back to me.

"Ava, may I have a word with you in the study? Alone?" He narrowed his eyes at both Ari and Rory and shook his head, irritated, then turned away from the table.

I didn't say anything; blood was beginning to pool behind my ears and my mouth was dry. Holy hell, what was going on? And who the hell has the unlikely name of Baby? I just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. I stood up and followed Andrew through the house to his large study. He pointed to a chair and I took a seat.

"You'll have to excuse the disarray," he said, waving his hand around the room. He sat down in his chair behind a big mahogany desk. "There was a fire in here a couple of months ago. I lost nearly everything."

His office was sparse. I could see little nails in the wall where pictures used to hang and there was a damaged bookshelf that sat empty. He pulled out a fire-safe box, unlocked it and handed me a faded manila legal envelope. The glue had worn off but the flap was still held closed by a shiny metal clasp.

"Your father," Andrew began, "was a very dear friend of mine. He and I, along with my brother Thais, and Julia's father Troy, grew up together."

Andrew took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"He was a very powerful man, Ava, but he made some serious mistakes that cost him his life. He gave me this before he died and asked me not to touch it until you arrived. Adrian told me that you would find us one day and that it would be important for you to see this. I should have known it was you from the minute I first saw you. You look exactly like him."

Andrew pointed to the envelope and waited for me to open it.

I pulled out a picture, then what appeared to be a letter. The picture was of my mother when she was quite young. She had a radiant smile stretched across her face and her cheek was pressed up against the cheek of a man with dark wavy hair and bright, sea-green eyes. His smile nearly consumed the whole photograph. They were quite obviously in love. I knew Andrew was right. This was my father. This was Adrian Moirai.

I swallowed hard, put the photo down, and began to read the letter.

Ava,

I know that you don't know me but believe me when I say that I know you. I have seen images of your life, and those images were the happiest moments of mine. I saw you when you were born, heard you cry. I was there with you when you met your best friend Mia and, Ava, I was there when your mom died. I am so sorry for your loss, Ava Baby, truly I am. Please know that she is now here with me and we are happy together once again.

I know that this is all so strange. Every word of what I say is true. You are the key to life and death among our people. We are not like the rest. We come from a long, great bloodline of rulers, heroes, gods, and goddesses. Ava, you are a Moirai. You are Fate. You and you alone hold the power to spin and end the thread of life. I was once that person. You must know that you have a very important choice to make, as did I. We are not all good, and some of us can be easily swayed by greed. As powerful as I thought I was, I turned out to be a very weak man. I was tempted into making the wrong choice and I have paid dearly for it.

When I was young, I met a man who introduced himself as a Kakos. This man promised me many wonderful things if, in turn, I would spare him and his kin from death. I made the promise of immortality, a promise I could keep only if I stopped my own bloodline. I kept my promise for a long time, until the day I met your mother.

We loved one another from the first moment that we shared together. She made me happier than I had ever been before. When she came to me with the news that she was pregnant, I was overcome with joy, but that joy was quickly replaced with fear. I told your mother what I was and what you would become. I urged her to flee and to never return, to keep my identity a secret from you as long as possible. My own fate came to me one night in a dream and once I saw it I knew it was irreversible. I had gone back on my word and the price would be our lives, yours, your mother's and mine. You now have a choice to make, to choose between good and evil. A war has raged for many years between our people, The Kakos and the ones who side with them. You are the only one capable of ending this war. I want only the best for you, Baby – please do what is right, but know that if you do, you will be hunted.

Love,

Your Father,

A.Moirai

My hands were shaking and I could feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes.

"What does this mean?" I demanded from Andrew, handing him the letter.

He read it and then looked back at me.

"We . . . " he started then paused and started over. "Ava, we come from a long line of Greeks . . . not just any Greeks, but The Greeks."

"You mean like Zeus?" I asked incredulously, fighting the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yes, like Zeus. My brother Thais and I are descendants of Adonis and my wife is from Aphrodite's bloodline. Gianna is of the family of Achilles. You, Ava, are above us all, untouchable. You come from the start. You are a Fate."

I stared at Andy while I let some of the information sink in and he continued to explain. "The Fates' number became fixed at three: Clotho the spinner, Lachesis the allotter and Atropos the cutter. They governed the figurative thread of life of every Greek from conception to demise. You are descended from Atropos, the inexorable cutter of the thread of life. At some point in your bloodline, Atropos and that of Lachesis were joined together, while we think Clotho may have been lost completely. Lachesis was the measurer of the thread. She determined the amount of time mortal souls each have on earth. When a person's time came to an end, Atropos cut the thread."

I shook my head confused.

"Your father told me you would not understand. He gave me that letter the day before you were born. I didn't even know he was involved with your mother until it was too late. He refused to tell me her name, only that he was expecting a child and that one day his child would appear to me. When that day came, I was to do my best to urge you to act on the side of good. I did not know your name or when you would arrive and I am sorry I did not notice anything earlier. My family took to calling you just 'Baby' and you have been the focus of most of my thoughts for the past seventeen years. I have looked for you everywhere.

"Ava, I need to be honest with you. You hold the thread of life of every person in this home, and several more outside it. I promise you that we are good and that we want to help you, but you have to promise me that you will not end us all."

The look in Andrew's eyes, they told me that he was serious. In my heart, I am good. The choice was obvious to me. I would do what it took to protect them. I thought back to my dreams, the threads and the pair of sharp scissors, and finally accepted that Andrew's words were the truth. I was spending my nights taking care of my ancient duties, walking the halls of the dying descendants of The Greeks and ending their lives.

"I don't want to hurt you," I said softly. "I don't want to hurt any of you."

Relief washed over Andrew's face.

"Ava, I am not going to lie to you. You have a very difficult road up ahead."

"Why can't I just grant these people, The Kakos, life? If they want to live forever what does it matter to me?"

"They are evil men, Ava, and they cause pain, sadness and destruction in everything they touch. If they live much longer, they will kill us all."

"Are you sure they want to kill me?"

"They will not cut you any deals. They are past that now. The only good you will do them is in death."

Before I could say anything in return, Ari walked in cautiously.

Andrew motioned for him to take a seat and filled him in on what was going on. Ari loosened up when he found out that I had promised not to take them away prematurely; he even placed his hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze. I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes and he gave me a reassuring smile. Andrew cleared his throat and I suddenly felt embarrassed, but Ari did not give him a second glance and he kept his hand firm on my leg and his eyes straight on me.

"So was Perry like you...us?"

Andrew looked at me for a moment confused by my question, then understanding washed over his face.

"Oh, Ava," he said with a note of sadness in his tone.

"Did you do that; cut Perry's thread?"

I nodded and answered with a very small "yes."

"Perry was one of the descendants of Apollo." He looked at me more sternly. "You did what you had to do. It was his time; life will always be followed by death, Ava, always."

I kept my eyes down at my knotted fingers in my lap.

"Look at me, Ava."

I looked up as I was told.

"You did the right thing."

"So does that mean that someday I will have to make that choice for you?"

"Yes, for all of us; when the time is right."

I put my head in my hands. Should I run? If I went back to Chicago, I really didn't think Margaux would try to bring me back. I could stay with Mia. I knew her mom wouldn't mind. I could probably even find someone to rent out a studio apartment for me. I had enough cash. My old school would take me back; I was sure. I had left behind a very solid GPA.

I felt the world swing out of place around me. My mind tried to grapple with the sudden screwiness of my life. Yet, as screwy as my life and my future seemed to have become, there was a certain undeniable sense in what I had just heard. Why? Why do these people feel like home to me? I had never felt such a strong pull to any people before, and the pull I was feeling wasn't generated by just Ari or Rory but by every single person in the other room.

Sucking in a breath, I looked back up at Andy.

"Is there anyone else out there like me?"

"There is a very small possibility. A couple was killed about a year ago. They were shot by a member of the Kakos; we believe they were killed because the Kakos found a tie between the woman and Clotho. Some of us worried that maybe the murdered woman was you. I spent weeks in my study researching her but could not find any ties between her and your father. She was a bit too old to be his daughter, but I do believe she left behind a small child. A boy, I think, but we have been unable to locate him."

I bounced about a thousand questions off Andrew and he did his best to answer.

"What does the letter mean that you are 'at war'?"

"Several of us Greeks, my family included, had to flee from Greece many, many years ago. We were dying at the hands of our own people who had crossed over to the side of bad, to the Kakos. The Kakos are essentially the descendants of Hades. They have made deals for several years with the Fates to spare them, to make them immortal. Your Father was the last to spare their lives and they will continue to live until you make the decision to end them; that is unless you die first. They know who you are, Ava, and they will find you soon enough. They will be coming for you."

"You expect me to kill The Kakos, beings I have never met or even heard of, before they kill me. How am I supposed to do that?" I asked as we stood up to leave the study.

"I do not know the answer to that, Ava."

We walked back out of the study and found everyone huddled up in the living room. Andrew had a smile on his face. Aggie stood up and walked to me cautiously.

"Is she the one? Is she Baby?"

Andrew nodded and she gasped and threw her arms around me.

"Oh, Ava Baby, we have waited so long for you." Aggie let me go and then put her hand on Ari's cheek. "It makes sense now doesn't it, Ari?" He nodded and I stared curiously at their little embrace.

Aggie moved her hand back from Ari's cheek and took my face in both of her hands. She made a spitting sound and said "ftou, ftou, ftou." Gianna immediately took Aggie's place and she made the same gesture and said "ftou, ftou, ftou." I looked over at Ari and he had a horrified grimace on his face.

I was confused about the whole evening, including the exchange of words I had just heard between Ari and his mother and the fact that his mother and aunt just pretended to spit on me. I was ready to go back to the dorm. Ari sensed my need to be alone and told his mom and sister we were leaving. They looked disappointed, even though we had been there all day. Aggie gave me a hug goodbye.

"Promise me that you will come back," she said.

"Okay," was my only response.

Ari walked me out to his car and opened the passenger side door for me. He climbed in his side and shut the door.

"What was that?"

"What was what exactly, Ava?" He looked a little tense.

"Ftou, ftou, ftou," I mimicked his mother.

He visibly relaxed and smiled.

"Some Greeks believe that spitting chases the devil and the bad luck away. That is why when someone talks about bad news like death the others slightly spit three times saying "ftou, ftou, ftou."

I laughed at Ari.

"That's silly."

"Indeed it is, Ava."

He beamed at me and squeezed my knee with his hand, sending the butterflies in my tummy into a frenzy.

Ari seemed to be in a talking mood – answering my questions. I decided to try for one more.

"What did your mother mean when she said, 'That makes sense now, doesn't it'?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked at me from the corner of his eye. He shook his head no, indicating that he would once again not be dealing with any question related to his own mysterious behavior.

We drove the rest of the way back to the dorms in silence. Every once in a while, Ari would look over at me, checking, I guess, to see if I was about to have a nervous breakdown. To be honest, I was welcoming the information I had gotten from Andy; it felt nice to finally have some answers.

The two of us walked off the elevators onto the twelfth floor right into all of the girls in the middle of the Sunday night movie. I groaned quietly and Ari shot me a little smile. Skylar shot daggers at me with her crystal blue eyes and Emily gave me a "get the hell over here now" look. I tried my best to ignore them both and went straight to my room. Ari stopped at my door before walking the one-foot distance to his and paused.

"Ava, if you need anything at all, I'll be right here."

"Thanks," I replied, before disappearing into my room. I threw on an old Bob Marley tee-shirt and some boxers and disappeared under my blankets. The shock had worn off and fear was beginning to set in. I got up out of bed and knocked on Ari's door. He let me in his room with a happy, welcoming smile.

### Chapter 8

### Playing Games

The rest of the week went by in a haze. My mind was clouded with questions. My emotions bounced back and forth from fear and worry about what was going to happen to me and then to giddiness and butterflies whenever I thought of Ari. I lived more for the nights now than for the days. Admitting my preoccupation with Ari made me angry with myself, but there was no use denying it.

My nightmares were scary and confusing. In some of them, my mom died over and over. In others, Mia was the one getting in the front seat of the car with Dr. Spruce. Dreams about running abounded – not running for the joy it has always given me, but running to get away from something or, maybe, find something. I never really knew. The worst dreams, though, were new ones. In them, I was the main character, crying and shivering on a box spring with no mattress, no sheets or any blankets. My body was emaciated, the bony framework easily seen, and I pulled hard on my hair. I screamed as though being tortured, yet there was no one else with me in the space.

Ari came in to my room every single night. His first question was always the same: "Do you want to talk about it?"

My answer was always the same, "no," and he never pushed me to tell him anything. He simply moved on to a new topic. Ari was an expert at coming up with thought-provoking conversation. He had a new non-threatening question for me every night.

Monday night he came to my room an hour after we said goodnight. He checked to make sure I was all right and sat a few feet away from me on the edge of my bed. He looked out my window.

"What things do you hate, Ava?"

I stopped and thought about it for a moment. "I hate not being in control."

"That's a good answer. I haven't heard that one before. What I hate more than anything in the world is being lied to. Do you lie?"

"Yes," I answered honestly. "Everyone tells lies, Ari."

"Yeah, you're right unfortunately." He shifted his gaze from the window to me.

"I will not lie to you. Try not to lie to me, ok?"

"Ok."

"Omitting the truth is a lie."

"I agree."

He smiled. "Good because I want to learn as much as I can about you, but if you lie, the game is pointless and I won't play anymore."

"How many people do you play this game with?"

He shook his head and smiled some more. "At midnight?" He looked at me from under his lashes. "Just you." He moved on to another question down his list.

"What distracts you?"

"You distract me, Ari." I didn't need any time to think about my answer. In all my life, I have never found a stronger distraction than Ari Alexander.

His eyes shot up playfully and a very sly smile spread across his face.

"I'll let you sleep then." He stood up to leave and my heart sank.

"Sleep well, Ava. And if you need anything, you know where to find me." He pointed at the wall between our two rooms and left.

****

After that late-night conversation, Ari and I bumped into each other a lot more often than we had in the beginning of my time at Dana Point. He started talking to me now and then in lit and even asked me a few questions about our assignments. On Wednesday, I think he thought I was getting tired of turning around to face him, so he moved his seat one forward and sat by me. I chewed half a fingernail off and bounced my leg around so much that our table started to shake. Ari had to put his hand on my leg to get me to stop. He had it there for just a moment, and he never took his eyes from the front of the room, but my heart did a little freak out anyway.

Thursday night, my floor gathered for the weekly party and I put into motion a plan I had come up with earlier. I announced to Emily with some wonder in my voice that Ari and I had discovered that our families had been friends quite some time ago. That, I added, explained why I was with him on Sunday. I think they believed me – whatever, my explanation would have to work for the time being because it was the only one I was going to offer. I glanced quickly around the commons, looking for Ari. He was talking with Rory by the pool table. We locked eyes for a moment and I smiled. He didn't return my smile and quickly turned away. My heart crumbled, my stomach was assaulted with disappointment and I felt the threat of tears in the backs of my eyes. I lost patience with myself for feeling upset and made a lame excuse to go to bed early.

I sat in my bed and talked myself out of crying until I finally was able to find sleep. My dreams reached a new level of frightening that night. I had never been so scared... and the worst part was that upon waking, I couldn't even remember what the dreams had been about. I woke up screaming and trying to paw my way out of some kind of bag. My pillows flew to the floor and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the noise. Too late, my dorm door creaked open.

"Ava, are you alright?" Ari came in sounding tired and worried.

"I'm fine, well, not really fine... I had a bad dream that scared the whatever out of me. But I don't want to talk about it," I added as I saw him start to ask a question. The clock on my phone showed two-thirty in the morning. I definitely needed more sleep, but I knew from experience that sleep had just removed itself from the realm of the possible. "Great," I sighed, mostly to myself.

Ari took a step into my room.

"Stop."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't want you in here."

"Why?"

"I thought were passed all of this evasiveness, Ari. I smiled at you and you acted as if I wasn't even there. I don't want this... whatever this is," I said pointing back and forth between the two of us. "I am sick of you. I am sick of feeling this way, as though I'm not worthy of your friendship."

"Oh, God, Ava... I'm so sorry. It's complicated. I am working some issues out right now. Just please, Ava, please, give me a little bit of time."

"Why can't we be friends?" I demanded.

"We can!"

"Friends smile at each other, Ari. They say "hi" in the hallways!"

He smiled, a really big, beautiful smile and said, "hi!"

"It doesn't count when we are in a dark room at two thirty in the morning."

"You are right. Can I just have a little more time?"

"Time for what?" I snapped.

"Just time... please."

"Whatever, Ari."

Ari walked the rest of the way into my room, grabbed a discarded pillow off the ground and took a seat on my bed. He leaned his back against the wall, put the pillow on his lap, and motioned for me to lie down; I did so very hesitantly. As soon as my head hit the pillow, he began to move his fingers ever so lightly down my cheeks and my neck. He took one of my hands, held it in his, and traced little circles in my palm. He started to talk softly, nearly inaudibly.

"What is your favorite color?" The question brought a smile to my face. It was so normal and unassuming. Most the time his questions were hard and required so much thought and careful truth.

I couldn't help but play his game. "Gray," I answered honestly.

"Oh, come on!" he said with a laugh. "Gray isn't a color." I shrugged and he moved on when I didn't give him a substitute answer.

"Favorite movie?"

I thought about that for a second, and then answered, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."

"Good one," he said approvingly, still moving his fingers like feathers across my skin.

"Yours?" I asked with a yawn.

"Beetlejuice," Ari answered quickly, and I laughed.

"That's the best answer ever."

"Well, that's because Beetlejuice is an awesome movie."

I rolled over to my side shaking with laughter and Ari moved on.

"Favorite book?"

"Les Misérables." I answered, calming back down.

"Alright. Odd choice, though," he said, more quietly than before.

"Favorite band?"

"That one is easy," I said with a sleepy smile, " _Vampire Weekend_ hands down."

"No way! Me too," he gave a small laugh, and then continued with the questions.

He learned that my favorite food is a tie between peanut butter and green bananas and that I am a diehard Cubs fan and I like to watch college basketball. He learned I am a crab in the morning if I do not have a cup of black coffee and I hate it when my toes get cold. He started to ask more personal questions the more comfortable he became.

"You don't like it when people get too close to you."

"That's not a question," I said, astounded by his perception.

"No, you're right it's not, but it's true. But you didn't seem to mind when my family hugged you."

"No," I said, nearly silent, agreeing with his observation.

Ari ran his hand slowly back up the inside of my arm and across my shoulder. He lingered for a moment on my collarbone before making his way up my neck and across my jaw line then he brushed his fingers across my lips. The touch was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I felt a happy pull in my tummy urging him to do more.

"You have never minded when I touch you... when I hold you."

"No." I closed my eyes.

"Good, because your skin is soft and I can't seem to keep my hands off it."

_Holy hell_.

I peeked up through my lashes at Ari and he flashed me a beautiful smile.

"I can tell that the game is keeping you awake. The whole point of my being here is to get you back to sleep."

His voice was clearer, less husky when he spoke, and he moved his fingers off my face and began to play with my hair.

"So you like the Cubs. Well, I am Sox fan so does that makes us enemies?"

"White or Red?"

"White."

I scrunched my nose up at him in disapproval but shook my head no and at some point in the night I fell asleep on Ari's lap answering more silly, pointless questions like that. My dreams were peaceful and happy for once.

My eyes fluttered open for a moment around dawn. My room was still dark and I could hear quiet breathing in my ear. Ari had fallen asleep. His head was on my pillow and his arm was wrapped tight across my body. My heavy eyelids closed again, taking me back to unconsciousness and happy thoughts before I was able to process how wonderful it felt to be in these arms.

When I awoke again, my room was bathed in light. I felt a feather light touch caress my arm.

"Morning."

I blinked at Ari and smiled. "Morning." My smile faded to a frown.

"What's the matter?" He moved a stay hair from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"Aren't you worried someone will see you walk out of my dorm room?" I was still mad at him for ignoring me the night before at the party.

"No, I am not. You should be worried though." He smiled playfully.

I jumped up, horrified of what people might think of Ari slipping out of my room wearing his pajamas.

Ari laughed. "Calm down. It's ten thirty on Friday. No one on this floor sleeps in this late besides me. They've all gone home or down to the beach."

Ari stood up. He had on a pair of blue and white striped pajama pants that hung artfully off his hips and a white tee-shirt. He lifted his hands above his head in a stretch causing his shirt to rise. I stole a glance at his stomach, at his muscles and the little trail of hair that disappeared under his waistband. I felt my face flush with red-hot heat. Ari chuckled and dropped his hands back to his sides.

There was a knock from my bathroom door. "Ava, are you awake?" I heard Emily say on the other side.

My chin dropped and I looked quickly from Ari to the door and then back again. Ari waited calmly for me to decide on what I should do.

"Err, just a minute, Em!"

I grabbed onto Ari's arm and pulled him across the room, I opened my door that led to the commons and pushed him out into the hall. He smiled brightly at me. "Have a nice day, Ava. I will see you later."

"K," I blushed then paused for a moment not wanting to say goodbye. Emily knocked again and I jumped and shut the door fast and ran over to the bathroom door to greet Em.

"What were you doing?!"

"Uh, nothing... um, what's up?"

Emily took a deep breath and smiled. "Pilates? This afternoon, you in?"

"Absolutely."

"Awesome, I am so bored today," she said as she plopped down in my chair.

Emily sat around my room for a bit and complained that the boy she had met a few weeks ago had stopped calling her. I gave her the "grass is always greener, it's always darkest before the dawn" speech and then promised to meet her at the Pilates studio later on that day. She peeled herself up out of my chair and went back to her room to write an essay for history. I let out a sigh of relief once the door finally closed.

I went to the gym and happily shoved my ear buds in; I listened to _Discovery_ while I did a quick five miles, thinking of Ari the whole time while running with a foolish grin stretched across my face. As I rounded my last mile, I spotted Emily walking through the gym door. She was chatting up Ari and Rory. My stomach immediately filled with butterflies at the sight of Ari. Emily smiled and waved at me and I smiled back and returned her wave. Rory waved to me as well and I saw a smile spread across Ari's face and then a very tiny wink. He mouthed "hi" right before I turned the corner.

Emily met me in the Pilates studio shortly after my run. Emily is shorter than I am by a couple of inches and has a great California tan. Her hair is always full of loose, bouncy curls and she nearly always has a smile on her face and something funny to say. She talked all through Pilates, making the instructor mad, and finally quieted down once she was warned for the fiftieth time to be quiet or else. After Pilates, Emily talked me into having lunch with her at Ambrosia, the campus café. I listened to her prattle on about the boys in her life, or lack thereof, and smiled at her. She asked how things were going between Rory and me and I assured her, once again that there was nothing but friendship in our future. Or so I had hoped. I wasn't sure how convinced he had been the other day when I told him I wasn't interested. At times, I still got the sense that he might want more. I did not volunteer any information to Emily about Ari and me. As far as Em was concerned, Ari and I hardly knew each other.

Emily and I washed up after lunch then we hit the library for some much needed study time. I sat down at a table next to her, Viola, Sam, Sophie and Rory. I tried to focus on history but my thoughts kept floating back to Ari and his strong, warm arms, his intoxicating scent and the way his heart beat like a lullaby.

Giving up on studying altogether, I pulled up my email program, and started reading a note Mia had sent that morning. In the email, she told me all of the details about her last date with Jack and that they would be going out again that night. She said she couldn't wait. She went through all the specifics about what she was going to wear and how they were going to the Navy Pier and that, even though Navy Pier sounded kind of like a cliché, she was really excited about going. I wished her luck and hoped that she had fun and told her over and over again how much I missed her.

I closed my laptop and looked up at the table to see that Ari had joined the group. He and Rory were laughing about something. I had noticed that, every once in a while, when no one was watching, they actually seemed to like each other. Ari winked at me again and my cheeks turned pink. Rory stood up and announced that he was heading home and all the girls told him goodbye.

"Hey, Ari, when are you leaving? Maybe I can just catch a ride with you," Rory said as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. Ari shot a quick glance at me and then turned to Rory.

"Uh," he started, scratching the stubble on his face, "probably not until tomorrow."

Rory shrugged his shoulders and then looked over at me.

"Am I going to see you this weekend, Ava?" His tone was almost accusatory.

I felt caught off guard and I prayed that my cheeks were not still bright red with embarrassment. "I don't know, Roar, probably not."

Rory looked back and forth between Ari and me and his face took on an angry edge.

"I see," he said. "Well, see you tomorrow, I guess, Ari. Or maybe not." He looked back at me, and then he walked away.

Emily, who always said the first thing that came to her mind, gawked at Rory as he left.

"What was that all about?"

Ari spoke up, giving me a reprieve, "Whoever knows with him?"

"Yeah, that's true," Emily said with a laugh.

I gave Ari a quick smile and then attempted to get back to my history assignment.

We all walked back to the dorm and Viola commented to Ari how she had not seen him stay at the dorms on a Friday in a long time. He rattled off an excuse that I missed because my phone started ringing the Cubs theme song, "Go Cubs Go," and I knew Mia was calling. I was happy that she was calling at a time when I could actually take a call. I hung back from the rest of the group as they continued to walk up the path and I answered my phone. Mia and I talked about the same stuff we had already gone over in our emails, but really talking was much nicer.

"Any new developments with Ari?"

"Yeah, I think so. Actually, things are much better. He introduced me to his family last week."

"Wow! That's great. You sound happy, Ava. It suits you."

I smiled into the phone. "I am happy."

"Good, you deserve it. You are too hard on yourself sometimes, Ava."

"Don't get all philosophical on me now, Mia. Don't you have a date to get ready for?"

"Oops, you're right! I have to go now--but I miss you and I love you and will talk to you really soon."

"I love you, too, Mia."

### Chapter 9

### Mia

Friday night I did all of my laundry and a couple of other boring chores, and then I shut myself away in my room and prepared for another long, lonely weekend. Ari came and knocked at my door a little after nine. He took a seat in my chair and toyed with a Ghostbusters action figure I had sitting on the shelf. We hadn't spoken together about my dad's letter and I was hoping he did not bring it up. We really hadn't spoken since the night before when he had said he couldn't keep his hands off me. That was a conversation I was willing to entertain, but there was no way I could bear to bring up that subject.

"So how come you didn't go home tonight?" I asked.

"Oh, Lauren's having some friends stay the night. I'm just keeping out of their way."

I looked at him as if he were nuts. "Your house is huge! There must be a corner in it somewhere for you to be out of the way."

"Yeah, true," he said and ran a hand through his dark hair.

I wish I could do that.

"Or you could have just stayed with Rory," I suggested.

It was his turn to look at me as if I were nuts. "What and play video games until three in the morning? No thanks. Besides, it's not so bad here. Do you ever go anywhere on the weekends?" he asked, keeping up with our small talk.

"Nope," I plopped down on the bed, "this is my only home. Margaux and I aren't exactly _les amis_ at the moment... or ever for that matter."

"Sorry," he bit down on his bottom lip. "I always thought she was sort of nice, though we haven't seen much of her since her husband died."

I sucked in a deep breath, "Perry."

"Yeah, that's right, Perry. But she never once mentioned you, or your mom for that matter."

"Yeah," I said with a yawn, "that sounds about right."

Ari stood up and hesitated for a moment.

"Ok, well, you're tired. I guess I'll see you later. Good night, Ava."

With luck, "later" as in a few hours later.

"Night," I said and gave him a small smile before he closed the door behind him.

Feeling exhausted from the night before, I fell asleep with ease, but before long the nightly chaos set in; I found myself in a dream that was so lifelike I could smell the air. I was in Chicago and the weather was crisp and windy. I heard Mia's voice, so I walked until I could make out her silhouette; she was not alone. She was laughing and hanging on the arm of a tall blonde boy. I smiled, happy to see her so happy.

Mia was leaning on the rail overlooking Lake Michigan near Navy Pier. It was late and very cold outside and the Pier was essentially deserted. I was surprised to see Mia so close to the water – neither one of us had ever liked water, yet here she was, putting on a brave front while she laughed at one of Jack's jokes. I watched as they talked and saw her lean forward over the railing, looking into her reflection on the black, icy water. I watched as the rail, in slow motion, came loose, and I watched as my best friend Mia fell into the deep, cold water. She bobbed quickly to the surface and started to panic, fighting for her life. Jack stood motionless on the pier, oblivious to my screaming, which of course he couldn't hear. I yelled at him to do something. My screams got louder as Mia struggled to keep her head above the water. I screamed until my throat was sore. I ran to the water's edge, but I was unable to help her. I saw her go under one last time; she didn't come back up. I woke up running from my dorm room.

Just as I got to my door, it swung open and I crashed head first into Ari's bare chest. I was screaming and couldn't breathe. Ari grabbed my hands, pinning them to my sides.

"Ava, talk to me! Stop, Ava. Look at me. Look at my face," he demanded.

"She's dead," I said as the hot tears ran. Ari let go of my hands and pulled me into his arms. "She's dead, she's dead," I said these words over and over again. I held onto Ari as tightly as possible, unable to stop shaking.

He held me to him as I cried and then, without a word, took me to his room and sat me down on the bed. He went to his closet, threw on an undershirt, and then sat down next to me.

"Ava," he pleaded, "tell me what happened."

I did as he asked. I told him every detail.

"I know what I saw is real. I know it actually happened."

He held me as I sobbed, and when I grew weak and my cries turned in to tiny whimpers Ari wrapped me up in his big soft blankets and laid his head on the pillow next to mine, facing me and wiping the tears away as they sprang from my eyes. He ran his fingers through my hair and caressed my face. We stayed like that until daybreak, neither of us falling back asleep or really talking.

When I finally sat up, I felt woozy and put my head against the wall. I spied Ari's iPad on the desk and helped myself. I pulled up _The Chicago Tribune_ and found the article I was looking for right away: "Tragic Accident Takes a Life at Navy Pier." I didn't need to read any more. I handed the iPad to Ari, who grabbed his glasses off the little bedside table and read the article.

"Ava," he finally spoke. "Ava, I am so sorry."

I nodded, unable to formulate even the simplest of sentences. I was lost in a catatonic state of sorrow. I sat for a few minutes, staring off into space, and then was struck by reality. Sitting in the dorm in sadness would help nothing. I had to go home to Chicago right away. I stood up and took a shaky step towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Ari asked.

"I'm going home."

Ari looked at me with worried eyes. "Then I'm going with you. I'll book the flight." I didn't care if he came or stayed, but I didn't have the energy to argue. I just nodded and left.

I got back to my room and climbed in the shower. I didn't have the strength to stand so I sat curled up on the shower floor as the hot water washed over me. Eventually, the water turned from hot to warm to cold, I finally climbed out and I looked at my sad reflection in the mirror. I turned my mind off and autopilot on and went through the steps of readying myself. I packed whatever I could grab and hoped it would be enough. I had to stop many times to sit and cry, and soon after, I heard a light rap at my door. Ari walked in before I could respond. He picked up my bag off the floor and then grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. We rode the elevator in silence and he packed up his Rover while I sat in the front seat and stared.

Three deaths. . . My mom, Perry and now Mia; the three people I loved the most in the world now gone. A new city, a new school, Ari and his family, the letter from my father. I put my head in my hands; my life was turning into a living nightmare, and I wasn't at all sure I would survive that nightmare.

"Our flight is at two," Ari spoke, breaking the silence. "We should be in Chicago by eight central time."

"Thank you," I said finally. "You really don't have to do all of this."

"I know I don't have to. I want to. . . and you're welcome," he added softly.

I texted Margaux and asked her to book a room for me somewhere near downtown Chicago. At seventeen, I was not yet able to take care of my own legal arrangements. She texted back almost immediately, letting me know that her assistant had booked a room at the Sofitel and had ordered me a car service for the weekend. Then she gave her condolences.

We got to LAX and waited for what seemed to be an eternity. I sat in various positions of discomfort in a hard bucket seat with Ari calmly at my side. Anxiety about returning to Chicago filled me. I put my thumb up to my mouth and began to chew at my nail. Ari took my hand in his and gently placed it back in my lap. Each time my knee started to bounce up and down he rested his hand on my leg to calm me.

Mumbled words called out over the intercom.

"That's us," Ari stood, grabbed both of our carry-ons in one hand and held on to my hand in the other as we walked together towards the gate.

When finally we were on board, both of us fell asleep before the plane even took off. I rested my head on Ari's shoulder and he leaned his head against mine. I was surprised, with all of the turmoil going on around me, at how peacefully I slept.

We arrived in Chicago four hours later. The car service driver found us easily and I recognized him as the same man who had driven Margaux and me from my mother's funeral. The images in my mind from that day put a queasy feeling in my stomach.

The driver took us to the hotel and we checked in at the front desk. We dropped off our bags with a bellhop, not wanting to take the time to go up to the room. We got back in the car and the driver took us quickly to Mia's house.

Her family's apartment building was just down the road from where I had lived, and as we passed my old brownstone, I pointed it out to Ari, letting him know that it was once my home. He squeezed my hand. When we got to Mia's building, the doorman recognized me and let us in, we took the elevator up to her floor and rounded the familiar carpeted hallway that lead to Mia and her mother's apartment. I didn't bother knocking. I had long been accustomed to just walking in, and she had done the same at my house. Her home was full of people, none talking; everyone just sat and stared at one another. Karen, Mia's mom happened to be near the entryway when we walked in to her sad home.

"Oh, Ava," she said, and pulled me into her arms and cried. She held me tightly. After a time, I felt her grip begin to loosen and when finally she let me go, her arms dropped to her sides hopelessly. I turned to introduce her to Ari. Karen hugged him as well and then she ushered us into the kitchen.

"I'm so glad you are here, Ava," Karen said as she put a shoebox in front of me. "I don't have the strength to do this on my own."

Mia's father had left when she was very young, and from what I had gathered over the years, his departure from their lives had probably been for the best. Karen had been left to raise her young daughter by herself.

"Can you please go through these pictures and pick out some nice ones to display at the service?"

I nodded my head in response and then opened the lid and pulled out stacks of pictures. Most of the pictures of Mia from age thirteen and up had me in them. We had been inseparable; I started pulling out my favorites – the two of us at a Cubs game, at a sleepover, dressed up for homecoming, and in twin Greek goddess costumes, ready for Halloween. The costumes were my mom's idea – eerily appropriate. Eventually the shots started to include Michael and the two of us became three. Mia was usually the one who took the pictures; there were a ton of Michael and me. I began to feel a little embarrassed as Ari and I went through them all.

Most of the pictures were harmless – just smiles and being playful. Then there were the pictures of him kissing my cheek or me kissing his. Mia always loved to catch us in moments of any form of affection, since they were pretty rare. She snapped a few pictures of us kissing at a party and I remembered the night perfectly as the time that he had told me he loved me. I had not wanted to return the whispered vow. . .I had no idea what love was and I didn't think he did either. I filled in the awkward moment with the kiss caught in the photo I was holding.

I gathered up the pictures of Michael and me, walked over to the trashcan, and threw them away. Ari pretended not to notice, but I am sure he did.

We left late and took the car back to the hotel. I opened the door to the room and found that there was only one bed, a huge king-sized one, but still, just one. I tried to ignore the obvious problem of sleeping arrangements, grabbed my toothbrush and pajamas out of my bag, and headed to the bathroom.

When I emerged a few minutes later, I saw that a pillow and blanket had been moved over to the couch and I breathed a sigh of relief. I know that Ari and I had spent some late nights alone together, and they had been on a twin-sized bed in a co-ed dorm. But there was something about being in a hotel room that put a spin on the situation. Had I been thinking clearly when I texted Margaux, I might have asked her to get two rooms. Now I was glad I hadn't. She would have demanded to know who was traveling with me, and that wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with her.

Ari and I talked for a few minutes, not about anything important and then I quickly fell asleep. Once again, my dreams were kind to me and I was thankful that nothing scary waited for me when I closed my eyes.

I woke up early and saw that Ari was still asleep on the couch. He had his iPad resting on his chest and his glasses were still on. His bare feet were propped up on the armrest. I could have watched him sleep there for a long time, but I had a difficult day ahead of me. The best I could do to get ready for that day would be a run to clear my thoughts. I opened my luggage and was happy to see my running shoes and some Under Armour. I sent Ari a text, letting him know, in case he woke up while I was gone, that I would be back in a few. Then I slipped out the door.

Stepping out into a brisk and windy Chicago morning, I was greeted by the rushing noise of the "L" train. I stretched and began my run through the familiar streets of Chicago, breathing in the cold, stale air and embracing the wind at my back while my music blared through my ear buds. Weaving down the sidewalk in the shadows of tall, tall buildings, I felt my angst ebb and my senses numb. The miles passed by; I could have run all day and if Ari hadn't been waiting back at the hotel, I might have. I headed back to the Sofitel after grabbing a couple of large coffees and the paper.

When I got back to the room, Ari was awake and dressed. I handed him the coffee and he gratefully took it.

"How was your run?"

"It was good," I answered while I rummaged through my bag for some clothes. "It helped." I stood up and excused myself; I was badly in need of a shower.

The funeral services were not until Monday and I felt sure I couldn't stand the emotional roller coaster that was Mia's house for another day, so when I walked out of the bathroom, I turned to Ari while I ran a towel through my hair.

"Have you ever been to Chicago before?"

"Uh, no actually," he said rubbing the stubble on his cheeks.

I smiled at him. "Well, what do you want to do?"

He looked at me for a minute then responded, "Ava, we don't have to do anything. I mean, I know you're heartbroken; I don't mind staying right here..."

"Yes, I am heart broken. I'm devastated. But sitting in a hotel room staring at the walls isn't going to help anything."

The more I kept my mind off things the better. The weather was nice and crisp, not as cold as it had been earlier, and the wind had died down too, since my run. The leaves on the trees had left green behind and taken on the orange and red hues of fall; the city was beautiful. A clear blue sky gave homage to the tall buildings. Sunlight glinted off the glass windows and sparkled on The Chicago River. I introduced Ari to Sue, the T. Rex at the Field Museum, and we spent most of the morning just walking the museum's halls.

Later, we dodged city buses and cabs on the streets as I showed him the sites.

"You're so at home here, Ava."

"This is my home, Ari."

He looked down and frowned; I had to pull him out of the way of a man gesturing and yelling angrily into a cell phone.

For dinner, I surprised him by going to Pegasus, a great restaurant painted spiritedly in blue and white to showcase the establishment's Greek pride both inside and out.

"This place is awesome," Ari said with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah," I agreed. "My mom and I used to come here like once a week; it was our all-time favorite."

Thinking about this, of course, made me think of her, which was probably a bad idea, given the state of my emotions. I managed to hold it together, though.

Ari was great about making me feel at ease. He kept our conversation going, he made me laugh and his contagious smile made me smile in return.

We finished dinner and went back to the hotel. Night had fallen and the room was quiet when Ari asked me the question I had been dreading.

"Ava, what happened with your mother? If you don't mind my asking."

I was comfortable enough with him now that I could talk openly, but my mother's death was a story I had never shared with anyone. I stalled for a while then finally decided that if I didn't tell him now, I might never tell him.

I began with the nightmare I had the night before she died. I told Ari how I woke somehow knowing that my dream was fated to happen. I knew without a doubt that if she got into the car of her boyfriend, Dr. Spruce, she would never come out of it alive. I told him how I tried to convince her not to go over and over again and how, when the time came, she insisted on leaving. I told him about the sound of the crash, the wail of the sirens that followed and how I ran to the scene of the accident. I told him how I rode in the ambulance with her and how she was declared dead before we arrived. I told him how I relive the nightmare over and over again in my dreams and how each time I am unsuccessful at saving her.

Ari never interrupted me. He didn't even move. When I finally finished, he wiped the tears from my eyes, hugged me and told me how sorry he was.

I shook my head. "You don't have to be sorry; the accident was my fault. I am the one who failed to save her, not you."

He looked at me, seeming to measure what he could say. He rubbed his cheeks and let out a breath.

"Ava, listen to me carefully. You couldn't have saved her. There wasn't anything you could have done. You were given the dream because of who you are, but her destiny was settled before you had your dream. She understood that. She accepted what she knew was unavoidable with grace, rather than trying to outrun it. No matter what you had done that night, the outcome would have been the same."

"How can you be sure," I asked cautiously. "How do you know?"

"Because Ava, you have the final say, you are the one who decides. If you wanted to change the outcome, you would have – unless someone else did it before you."

"I thought this thing of mine pertained only to people like us... my mom wasn't Greek."

"Oh... are you sure?"

"Well no, not really. She was adopted by Perry and Margaux; I don't have any clue who her biological parents were and I don't think she knew either."

Ari just looked at me and thought about it for a minute.

I interrupted his thought process with another question. "What about Mia? I mean I saw everything that happened while it was happening. I tried to save her but I couldn't. I know she wasn't like us, so why would I dream that?"

"I think maybe you dreamed her death because of how close you two were. You shared a bond, so you were tuned in to her fate and you just didn't know it. As for your mother, Ava, I think she was a Greek and a very important one at that."

In a strange way, his theory made sense to me but at the same time increased the guilt I was feeling.

Ari put his hand on my cheek and looked me in the eyes, "I do not believe you are responsible for anything that has happened so far, Ava. Knowledge comes before responsibility."

I nodded and chewed on my lip. "Why do I matter so much to your family?"

"Because, you are going to save us all."

****

Ari put a movie on the hotel TV and sat up with me in the bed. I fell asleep before it ended and when I woke the next morning, he was asleep on the couch.

I padded my way to the shower and cleaned up for Mia's funeral. I wore a black wrap dress and let my hair cascade down my back. Margaux would have approved of the shoes. They were black and high, just as hers always were.

Ari woke up and headed to the shower while I went down to the hotel restaurant for some real coffee – anything to avoid the bagged coffee commonly found in hotel rooms. When I returned I found him in a black suit and tie. His hair was in perfect disarray and his delicious clean smell filled up the entire room. I could feel my jaw hanging open as I gawked at him and I audibly snapped it shut. He let out a little chuckle and I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. He was absolutely gorgeous.

I had the driver take us to the church. Our bags were packed in the back and we had already checked out of the hotel. The driver agreed to wait outside for a few hours and then take us to the airport.

Ari and I arrived early to give Mia's mom a hand if she needed it. We took a seat behind her and the rest of Mia's family and waited as the church filled up. It didn't take long. All of my old classmates were there along with the teachers. The afternoon was long and sad.

Ari never left my side. From time to time, he tucked back a strand of my hair, put his hand supportively on my shoulder or squeezed my hand. His actions were not kin to flirting. He wanted me to know that he was there for me if I should need him.

I thought back to my mom's funeral. Margaux and I were the only family my mom had had. The two of us sat in the front pew three spaces apart. I remembered wishing I had someone there beside me to wrap me in a hug while I cried. Someone to be strong for me when I wasn't capable.

My mom had been an incredible woman, active in several charities and the head of the pediatric wing at The University of Chicago Medical Center. Her boyfriend, Dr. Spruce, had worked alongside her. My mother had several non-family mourners and a few people came for Dr. Spruce, who died in the same accident. For my part, I could conjure up no sympathy for the man. In my dream he and Mom were hurrying to a fundraiser they had organized for the hospital. Spruce looked from side to side and then rammed his foot on the accelerator. I saw the city bus crash into his tiny sports car.

"Hey," Ari whispered, and nudged me gently with his shoulder. I looked up at him and he handed me a tissue. I had not realized that I had been crying.

"Thanks."

The church began to thin out as people moved to the hall to talk sadly with one another in hushed tones.

"How about some fresh air?"

I nodded and stood up with Ari.

Ari took my hand and laced our fingers together. We walked towards the back hall where mourners had gathered. I stopped and talked with a few friends. Not many words were exchanged, but I saw each girl look at Ari with questioning eyes; I knew they wanted to ask me if he was my new boyfriend.

"This is my friend Ari," I told each one simply.

One of my somewhat closer friends pulled me aside and asked for details.

"It's complicated," I said right before I heard a voice calling my name from behind me. I knew this voice all too well. I sighed and hung my head, then closed my eyes. I had known I would see Michael, but I had been hoping we would not speak. When I finally turned around to acknowledge him, I could tell he was beyond angry.

"What the hell, Ava," he started, "the last time I saw you, you slammed your damn door in my face. You haven't returned any of my calls or texts and then you have the nerve to show up here with some guy?"

I looked over at Ari, whose jaw was clenched tight. His hands were tightly balled into fists.

"Michael, just leave me alone. I have nothing to say to you. This is Mia's funeral. Of course I would be here. Please just go away." I was much calmer than I had thought I was capable of being.

"No! Who the hell is this guy, Ava?"

"What difference does it make, Michael? You broke up with me, remember?"

"Maybe I want to change my mind. I wasn't thinking that day, Ava. I want to work this out with you. Me and you - we were perfect together. I miss you. You're my girl."

"No, Michael. No, I'm not."

"Mia would want us to get back together. You owe to her." His words were sick. He was trying to use the death of my best friend to his benefit.

I turned to leave. I had nothing to say to him. I was able to take just one step away before he grabbed me by the arm and swung me around with force. I gasped in pain and then lifted my fist and socked him right in the nose. Michael staggered a few steps back but didn't fall. He had his hands cupped around his nose and when he finally lifted them away, I saw they were covered in blood. Ari shook his head with a laugh then put his arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side. He walked with me like that all the way out to the car.

We got a few blocks away from the church before either of us spoke.

"Er..." I finally said, "I am really sorry about that."

Ari rubbed at his stubble, trying to erase a smile. "Nah, don't worry about it...I wish you had let me take care of him. But...that was kind of hot, actually."

I immediately blushed, then laughed aloud at his response. He started to laugh too, putting me at ease, and we joked about the incident the rest of the way to the airport.

When we arrived at O'Hare, we had some time to kill before the flight so Ari led me to a little coffee shop, bought two cups, and set them at a table near a window so we could watch the planes take off and land. The sky had grown dark and the twinkling Chicago lights acted as a nice backdrop.

"So, it's "complicated," huh?" he asked.

Oh boy.

My jaw dropped. "You heard that?"

He laughed a little as my stomach did several flips.

"Well... what was I supposed to say? No, this isn't my boyfriend, just some guy who lives in my hall and occasionally sleeps in my bed at night. Should I have told them how we play a little game in bed, and then, when the sun is up we act as if we hardly know each other? Or should I have told her that you were just some guy who is the descendant of some deity that nobody ever believed really existed and I control the fate of his entire family? I'd say "complicated" is a fair term in defining our situation. Besides, I stole the "it's complicated" line from you anyway."

"You have a point," he said, backing off. "So what was with that guy Michael anyway? Is he a boyfriend or something?"

I let out a big breath and started to explain myself.

"Michael was my boyfriend, but now he is just nothing to me."

"Really, 'cause it looked kind of serious to me."

"Well, it wasn't. He was a total jerk and I was an idiot for ever letting him into my life, the thousand or so times that I did."

"So did you two ever ..?"

"Ari Alexander!" I exclaimed, "if you are asking me if I ever did that with him, the answer is no. Not that it is any of your business."

Ari laughed aloud. "That certainly was not what I was going to ask you, Ava, but it is nice to know."

Ok, I felt like a total idiot. Time to change the subject.

"What about you? What about Julia?" I asked him, trying to turn the tables around on him.

"What about Julia?" He asked with a sigh. "My parents took her in after her parents died. She started school with us and Rory fell for her hard. He was absolutely nuts over her and everyone knew it. She kept rejecting him or giving him the cold shoulder, but he never gave up.

"Julia and I were with each other all the time. We had all the same classes and lived next to each other in the dorms and then down the hall from each other at my house. It didn't take her long to tell me that she had feelings for me. She swore that she did not care for Rory; that I was the one she liked. I didn't handle the situation well."

He was staring into his coffee as he spoke.

"We began to see each other, umm, romantically, and didn't tell anyone. At least that was the agreement, but Julia cannot keep a secret. The whole school knew in a matter of days. I had gone behind Rory's back. He asked me not to see her, but I did it anyway. I can't believe I did that to him."

Ari paused for a second and shook his head. "I deserve to be hated by him. The worst part was that he heard about us from Lauren, by text, in the middle of history class. He stood up and punched me; I didn't even need to ask why. I knew he had found out. Rory was my best friend; he's my family. I never should have treated him the way I did. For months, he wouldn't talk to me. I couldn't keep seeing Julia anymore. She flipped out when I broke up with her. The whole twelfth floor witnessed the entire scene. She threw everything she owned at me before packing up and leaving.

"I felt so bad for her. She had no place to go but to my parent's house. She eventually forgave me. We are good friends now but she has had a rough few years."

Ari smirked a little. "You should have seen her when I told her about you."

I looked at him quizzically and he explained. "I don't have anyone else to talk to about you besides my mom. I told Julia that I was "doing it again" – seeing someone behind Rory's back. She immediately knew it was you. I told her what happened when Rory almost caught me with you and she came unglued and started yelling at me. Julia really likes you."

"So has Rory forgiven you?"

"He forgave me when he met you."

"Why? What do I have to do with your fight with Rory?"

Ari looked at me and frowned.

"Rory is crazy about you, Ava. He came up to me on your first day of class, in the gym. It was the first time he spoke to me in ages, he told me how he met someone he really liked and he didn't want to fight with me anymore. I was happy for him and relieved that we could move on from that whole stupid thing. I was happy about it until I realized he was talking about you. He asked me to stay away from you.

"I was immediately attracted to you, I wanted you, and I knew then that there was no way I could have you. I could never betray Rory's trust again. The thing is Ava, he still has feelings for you, and I have to do the right thing this time."

I bit the inside of my lip. I could feel the threat of tears behind my eyes. "Yeah, I get it, it's fine, I understand. Whatever."

Great here comes the letdown.

"No, Ava, I don't think that you do." He ran his hand through his hair.

"I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to come out and say it. I like you a lot. I mean a lot. More than I probably should. I think you feel the same way about me, at least I really hope you do. As soon as I get things straightened out with Rory, I would like to, well, you know, be with you the right way."

Holy hell, yes please!

"Really?" I asked shyly.

"Really," he said with one of his perfect smiles, "well, that is if you want to."

"I want to," I blushed.

Ari smiled a shy smile and continued. "I just... I think if I talk with Rory, I can make him understand. I'll talk with him tomorrow, after class and I promise to stop sneaking around."

"K," I said quietly, then a thought came to me. "Will you tell me now what your mom meant the other day – 'it makes sense now doesn't it?"

"It's nothing really. As I said, I had no one else to talk to, if Rory caught wind of me liking you he would never forgive me. Ava, what you need to understand is that family is the most important thing in the world to me and I couldn't jeopardize Rory's and my friendship because of a girl. But you aren't just a girl to me. I had feelings for you from the minute I laid eyes on you. There is something about you. I can't stop thinking about you, I can't take my eyes off you, I can't sleep without you. The fact that you are who you are just put two and two together for me; I grew up caring for you, Ava, wanting to find you, protect you and keep you safe from whatever is out there hunting you."

Unable to formulate a proper sentence, I was thankful when the loudspeaker announced that our flight was boarding. We found our seats and resumed our in-flight napping position. Butterflies happily danced around in my stomach and in my dreams.

We arrived back at school late, but unfortunately not late enough. We walked in just in time to find some of the people on the floor getting ready to play pool and Emily instantly noticed our arrival.

"Oh. My. God," Emily grinned wickedly. "Where the hell have you two been all weekend?"

"Listen," Ari said softly, "Ava and I were at a funeral for a friend, that's all. Do you mind keeping things quiet for a while?"

"Oh...sure, sorry," she frowned apologetically. The rest of the group stared at us as we walked away down towards our rooms. Ari brought my luggage in and paused in the doorway.

"Thank you, Ari, for everything."

"No problem, Ava, anything for you; sleep well," he said before shutting the door behind him.

I let out a breath once the door shut, then took a hot shower to wash the airport grime away and then crashed in bed. I had just slept on the plane but the weekend had left me exhausted.

That night, a new dream appeared. I found myself in a dark room, the walls paneled in wood, the carpet red as blood. A large, round table took up most of the room, and several men were seated at it.

The men were talking in hushed tones but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I was certain the language they spoke was not English. I woke with a jump right after I heard the words _"skotosei to koritsi."_ I said them over and over again in my head so I wouldn't forget them. Finally, after stumbling around in the dark, I found the light switch and a pen and scribbled the words down as best as I could on the inside of a book.

I dressed for class and headed to piano. My day passed steadily. I rounded up all the assigned reading I had missed from Monday and headed to the library for an evening's worth of work. Taking a seat at one of the long tables, I pulled out my Mac. I was concentrating on calculus when I heard someone from across the table clear their throat. It was Rory.

"Hey, how's it going?" I asked looking up across the table.

"Good," he gave one of his classic smiles, "you mind if I join you?"

"I don't mind at all, but I am not much fun tonight. I have a ton of work here."

"Yeah, me too. I can't believe we're getting this much homework right before Thanksgiving."

"Oh, no, Thanksgiving. I completely forgot," I sighed.

"What! How could you forget about the best holiday ever? I mean seriously all you have to do all day is eat – what can be better than that?"

"Uh, I guess I am just not looking forward to it. Margaux is out of town and she is my only family, so I will just be here all weekend."

"Ava, how can you even say that? We are your family now; you can spend the holiday with us."

"Rory, that is really nice of you to offer, but I don't think so."

"You have to come, Ava. Everyone loves you there anyway," he said in a reassuring tone.

Just then, Ari came up from behind Rory and placed his hands on Rory's shoulder, causing him to jump a little bit. I let out a small laugh and he rolled his eyes at both Ari and me.

"There you are," Ari said, "what's going on?"

Rory shrugged his shoulders, "nothing man, just trying to talk Ava in to spending Thanksgiving with us."

"Oh really? Funny you should mention that."

"Why's that?" Rory said with a grunt.

"Well," Ari turned all of his attention to me, "Ava, my mom and Lauren both called me this morning practically begging me to make sure you are there for Thanksgiving."

He gave me a wink and mouthed the word "please" and my heart nearly melted. I gave them both a smile and agreed to think about it.

"Great," he replied, then turned his attention back to Rory.

"Hey man, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, dude, what?" Rory said without moving.

"No, I mean alone."

With a heavy sigh, Rory closed his laptop, pulled himself out of his chair and followed Ari out of the library.

### Chapter 10

### Taking Flight

My nerves overcame me as I watched Ari and Rory leave the library together. Any thought of concentrating on schoolwork fled. Thousands of thoughts flooded my mind. What if Rory said no? What if their voices could be heard? What if the two of them started actually fighting? What if Rory cried? I didn't stick around for any answers, but left from the rear exit of the library and was able to get back to my room without seeing either of them. I collapsed into my fluffy chair; I had gotten half way through my history assignment when I was interrupted by a light knock. I got up and pulled the door open to find Ari standing in the hall with his hands in his pockets. He was biting down on his bottom lip.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hi."

"So..."

"So, I talked to Rory."

"And?" I was nearly inaudible.

"Well, he hates me again, but he didn't break my nose, so it wasn't too bad."

"What does that mean?" I asked as the tension built inside me.

Ari walked into my room a little further, took his hands out of his pockets, wrapped them around my waist and pulled me to him, closing the small gap between us, and kissed me. Gentle at first, his soft lips felt so amazing on mine. He lightly shut the door all the way with his foot. His tongue teased my lips into opening and our kiss grew deeper. The butterflies in my stomach started taking flight and a fire rushed through my body, making me tingle all over. I threw my arms around him and kissed him back; more passion burst between us than I thought possible for two people. Ari cupped his hand behind my head, blinked his eyes open and smiled at me. My cheeks flamed with white-hot heat.

Ari sat down on my armchair, pulled me onto his lap and began to explain what had happened.

"I laid it all out on the table for him; I let Rory know how I feel and how I think you feel. He was a little mad at first but he knew I was speaking the truth. He said he had blown all of his chances with you anyway and he just wanted to see you happy."

This made my heart smile a little bit. I was sad that I had hurt Rory – he was my friend – but I knew that he and I would get over this part of our relationship and that I would never lose him.

Ari went on, "I know that he still really has feelings for Julia, and I am pretty confident that she is coming around to him, too."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all. For starters, I have you... and also Rory and Julia are a lot alike." He brushed my hair away from my cheek, then added, "There is something I want to do."

"Ok," I smiled.

"Close your eyes."

I closed my eyes as Ari asked and a moment later I felt his soft lips kiss the tiny, dark freckle I had right above my lip.

"I have wanted to do that since the moment I first laid eyes on you."

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm. _Badly._ "

"Well, there's something I have wanted to do, too."

Ari's eyes lit up. "Oh? What would that be?"

I slowly ran my fingers through his thick, dark and unruly hair. His eyes closed at my touch. When he opened them up again, he had an amused look on his face.

"What?" I asked with a giggle.

"Ava, you do that all the time."

"I have never done that."

Ari's smile was so large it lit up my room.

"Maybe not when you're awake, but you have very bold and curious hands and fingers while you sleep. You are a very controlled and disciplined person, Ava...until you sleep. I love it when you wrap your body around mine and when you snuggle your face in tight to my chest." His smile got bigger. "Your toes get cold and you tangle our legs up together, you knot your fingers tightly in my hair."

He paused for a second and his smile faded. "I am so sorry that I didn't do this sooner. I was selfish and I didn't consider your feelings the way I should have. That night when I brought you to my room and you said we needed to talk, I knew what was coming. You were going to end whatever we had. I panicked and held on to you for dear life. I watched you sleep all night long and thought of how on Earth I was going to make our relationship work. I decided right then to do whatever it would take to have you for myself. I didn't want to stay away from you any longer and I didn't want to sneak around. I wanted everyone to know how I felt about you. I just had to get to Rory before he saw us. Then he knocked on the door and I blew it. You stopped talking to me for the next few weeks. It was as though to you I had never existed. Mia was right for chewing me out. You are too good for me."

I knew what he was saying. I had turned my emotions off when he was near me. I refused to feel anything. Doing so was unbelievably hard and I hoped never to have to do it again.

Ari continued talking. "When I saw Rory in his room with Julia on the night of his party, I knew he had screwed up any chance he might have had to try for you again. That was one of the happiest days of my life."

"He was with Julia?"

"Uh, yeah. I thought you walked in on them."

"I did, but I was too shocked to see who was with him."

"Oh, yes, he was with Julia. They were using each other to get back at me. It blew up in Rory's face and couldn't have worked out better for me."

He kissed me again, softly on the lips, my stomach did more flips, and my body began to tingle all over again.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Yes, of course. I actually liked our little talks at night. I just wish I could have had you more in the day time too and now I will."

"Yes, you will," he agreed, and licked his bottom lip. My pulse picked up a beat. Ari pointed to my freckle. "Do you have any more of these little things that I should know about? This one here has the ability of making me forget my own name."

_Oh, holy hell_.

"If you play your cards right and look hard enough, you might find a couple more."

His jaw dropped. I loved that I could get such a strong reaction out of Ari. He was the most poised and composed person I had ever met. I felt very powerful at the moment.

"Mmm. I am going to begin my search right now," Ari whispered, and started kissing me behind my ears and on my neck. He stopped to ask me a question about myself from time to time, and each time, I thought a moment before answering. When I did finally answer, the kissing began again.

Ari and I hung around my room doing more of the same for a while. Suddenly I spied my book on the floor near my bed. There was a pen sitting on top of it and I recalled the words I had heard in my dream. I got up, walked over to the notebook and picked it up, trying to remember how the letters I had scribbled earlier this morning had sounded.

"Hey Ari, what does _'skotosei to koritsi'_ mean?"

"I don't know... I don't speak Greek all too well. Why are you asking me that?"

"Well... " I started, and then I told him about my dream and how a few men had been discussing something I could not understand and how one of them kept saying, _"skotosei to koritsi_ " over and over again.

Ari's face went pale. "How many men were there?"

"I think six; why?"

"What did they look like?"

"I don't really know... they all kind of looked the same – dark short hair, well built, brown eyes... kind of Mediterranean."

He quickly stood up, pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and started dialing. He grabbed my keys off the desk and waved for me to follow him. Ari was on the phone with his dad by the time we exited my room. I followed him quickly through the commons.

Ari pushed the call button on the elevator while he spoke to his father. He looked at the closed elevator doors, then to me, then back to the doors again.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, we climbed in together.

"I'll call you right back, Dad." Ari hung up the phone, grabbed me in his arms and pushed me against the elevator wall. He pushed his body and lips against mine and kissed me fervently, his fingers knotting in my hair. I hardly had time to respond – but I knew I liked it.

By the time we arrived at the ground floor, I was breathless and left wanting more. Ari winked at me and hit "send" on his cell again. We got down to my car and he tossed me the keys. I climbed into the driver's side. He mouthed "my house" and we started off towards the Alexander's beach home.

We arrived at Ari's parent's house the same time that Andrew did and the two of them, father and son, quickly made their way through the house and into Andy's study. I followed along, not sure how to take the hurry and the secrecy.

"Ava," Andy said, "tell me exactly what you dreamed."

I went through the dream again and repeated what I had heard. Ari and Andrew quickly started talking about it. After a bit, feeling increasingly anxious, I snapped, "Would someone just tell me what the hell it means?"

Andy looked at me with fear in his eyes.

"Uh, Ava," he said, trying to stall and failing, "actually the phrase means 'kill the girl.'"

My shoulders dropped. "Oh. Ok. So. I mean I already knew that someone wanted me dead. That's nothing new."

"Well," Andrew began, "we had hopes that they didn't know who you were, or where you were, and we may still be correct, but it sounds to me as though they have begun planning some kind of action. What are the chances you will have this dream again?"

"Pretty good, actually. I have most of them over and over again. But I can't really control my dreams."

"That's just it, Ava, you can control your dreams. What you are experiencing are not really dreams; they're more like visions... sometimes of the past and sometimes of the future. The Kakos are attempting to choose your fate. You have the power to stop them only before the fate has definitely been chosen. And only you have the power to influence what the Kakos do – that's why these visions come to you – so you can take control. If you dream of these men again, try to stay where you are for as long as possible and to get as much information as you can."

"Ok," I answered readily, "I will. But I don't know their language and I can't guarantee I will remember all the words... " An icy fear started to edge its way through my body.

"You will understand more than you expect to," Andrew said. "You have powers while in your visionary state; you just have to master them."

Ari and Andrew went on talking together in hushed tones, and I excused myself to give them space. I found Aggie and Lauren in the kitchen making dinner.

"Need any help?" I asked, as I walked in and sat at the island.

"Ava Baby!" Aggie said with a smile. "I have missed you!" She pulled me to her for a strong hug and then kissed both of my cheeks energetically. As soon as she let me go, Lauren took her place for another hug and more kisses.

"So, Ava," Aggie said, while chopping up vegetables, "I hear you and my Ari are finally a couple."

"Um, yes, we are actually... who mentioned that to you?" I asked, since we had only been dating for a total of two hours and both of those hours we had spent in my dorm room making out.

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Get used to it, nothing is private around here, news travels fast, especially when Rory is involved."

"Rory," I said, "I should have known."

"Speak of the devil, Baby, and the devil shall appear!" Rory said with a laugh as he walked in through the back door.

I gave him a sheepish smile and a small "hi." I wasn't sure exactly where we stood friendship-wise. But he grabbed me by the shoulder as Aggie and Lauren had done, pulled me to him for a huge hug, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then, for good measure, he put me in a headlock and messed up my hair. I felt much more at ease knowing that we could still goof around with each other.

Rory threw the refrigerator door open and all the bottles jiggled and clanked. He pulled out two pops, grabbed an apple off the counter, and headed back to the study.

"We're eating in an hour and you'd better have an appetite!" Aggie called after him, shaking her head.

Once Rory was out of earshot, Aggie smiled up at me.

"Ari is very fond of you, Ava. I am so glad to see things are working out."

"I like him, too, very much." My cheeks felt hot.

I helped Aggie in the kitchen for a while then sat at the table and started to help Lauren with her French homework. We managed to get through the lesson but doing so was a chore; Lauren knew very little of the vocabulary, even less of the grammar and had almost no accent at all. She was a good listener, though, and made progress even in the short time we worked.

Soon after, Julia arrived from next door with Rory's parents. She had been living with them for the last few weeks, and I kind of thought her move had something to do with me. I was happy to see her again. She sat and talked with us about a new band she was going to see up in L.A. the following weekend, and I thought, as I had the first time I met her, that she was really very nice. She didn't mention Ari, and there was no way I was going to mention him to her.

Growing restless, I eventually got up and found my way in to the living room. The room was empty and I needed an escape; my brain couldn't choose which of the many topics rolling around in it to attend to. Stress and anxiety were on the rise, bringing bile to the edge of my esophagus; I knew myself to be in danger. Worse yet, I felt the people around me to be in danger as well.

Running was out of the question, so I sat at the piano and began softly playing Chopin's Nocturne op. 9, no. 20. I closed my eyes and let the music take all the thoughts away. I moved into Ingrid St. Pierre's "T'sé" and sang it to myself softly in French. The song had been one of Mia's personal favorites. I finished and took a deep breath to steady my emotions then closed the piano lid. When I turned around on the bench, I was stunned to see that the living room had filled up. Every person in the house was there, sitting quietly watching me. My cheeks flushed pink.

"Holy hell, I am so sorry," I squeaked and put my hands up to my cheeks while everyone stared at me.

Aggie spoke up. "That was your father's piano, Ava. No one has played it since him."

I just blinked at her, unable to formulate a sentence.

I stood up as Ari came over to my side. "So are you ready?" I asked, trying to ignore all the other faces in the room. I hated playing in front of crowds; it made me feel vulnerable and exposed.

"Well, actually," he said, rubbing at his five o'clock shadow, "do you mind if we stay here tonight? My Dad thinks it would be best... you know, if you dream something new. We really want to stay ahead of them."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine but,..." I said, turning to Andy, "I have never been able to control my dreams. If I could change a dream, I would have never let my mother die, or Mia."

Aggie came up and squeezed my shoulder. "We know that; don't worry. Now come on everyone, let's eat."

We sat down to dinner. Aggie had made eggplant parmesan and a large salad stacked with veggies, then added to the table a beautiful loaf of crusty rosemary bread. The dinner conversation took on a lighter tone and people began to ease up. Aggie turned to me.

"Ava, where did you learn to sing like that?"

"I can't sing, Aggie."

"Nonsense, we all just heard you. It was beautiful."

I smiled at her, wishing she would just drop it. "That song sounds pretty only because it is in a different language. I really don't sing well, and I certainly did not intend to subject any of you to my voice."

"Well, I thought it was beautiful. And about tonight, I thought staying here would be easier for you. You can stay with Ari in his room. We have extra toothbrushes and things in the closet down the hall; I'm sure you'll find everything you need in there."

"Aggie, it's fine," I said, feeling even more uncomfortable. _Is she giving me permission to sleep with Ari?_ "I can just stay on the couch; it's no big deal."

"Don't worry, Ava. We are modern people; we recognize that the two of you are going to be together one way or another. Sneak around at school all you want, but there will be no sneaking around behind my back in this house. Oh, and please don't make me a grandmother yet! I am still much too young," she said with a wink.

I felt as though I might puke. I shot Ari a look and he gave me a little grimace. He had told his mother! _Totally embarrassing_... I chugged my entire glass of water, my mouth had turned so dry.

Ari came to my rescue. "Ma, leave Ava alone."

He put his hand on my leg and softly trailed his fingers up my thigh. He was trying to help me calm down, but his touch had the opposite effect and my blood began to boil with desire. I thought about our crazy, sexy kiss in the elevator and felt faint. I sucked in a breath when his hand got a little too high up my leg and Ari gave me a crooked little smile.

I passed on dessert and helped Aggie clean up after dinner. As soon as the last dish was in the dishwasher, Ari took me by the hand and pulled me down the hall to his room, closing the door behind us.

His room was just as I imagined it would be. He had a remarkable view of the ocean and his bookshelf was filled with some of my favorite books. He had a few pictures on the top shelf, all of him and his family. There were two glass jars, one filled with white seashells and the other filled with smooth black stones. His floor had the same dark hardwood that ran throughout the rest of the house but there was a large white rug in the middle of the room, thick and soft against my bare feet. His bed was king sized and topped with big white pillows and down comforters. His surfboard leaned into a corner and a brown leather armchair with a stack of books on the floor sat next to it. On another wall, there was a huge, panoramic, black and white canvas of a surfer walking the beach at sunset. On the far wall, he had a collage of several more black and white prints of the same surfer. I pointed to it.

"Are all these of you?"

"Uh, yeah, but please don't think I am self-absorbed. My mom's a photographer and she took all of them."

He looked somewhat embarrassed, but they were beautiful prints, and they couldn't have been of a lovelier subject: Ari. I had noticed black and white prints all throughout their home and each one was incredible. If Aggie had taken them all, she was a very talented photographer indeed.

Ari turned the music of Dr. Dog on in the background and pulled open the doors to a huge walk-in closet. He took out an unopened package of boxers, ripped it open, and threw me a pair. Then he grabbed a white tee-shirt, the same kind I had seen him slip on in the middle of the night on several occasions, and tossed it to me.

"Uh, do you mind if I take a quick shower?" I asked, holding my new pajamas in my hand.

"Not at all," he smiled, "it's right down the hall."

I slipped out of his room, my stomach full of butterflies, and found the closet Aggie had mentioned. I grabbed a toothbrush from a multi-pack, there was also a supply of razors and moisturizer so I stocked up and headed to the shower.

There was nothing quick about it. I took my time washing my hair and scrubbing my face. When I got out, I covered myself in lotion and towel dried my hair and put on my boxers and tee-shirt. I did the best I could at walking calmly back to Ari's room.

He was wearing his glasses and sitting on his bed reading something on his iPad.

"Hey," he said with a very reassuring, perfectly beautiful smile, "feeling better?"

"Much," I nodded.

"Good."

Ari pulled off his glasses and tossed them aside with his iPad. He wrapped his arms around my waist and fell back onto the bed pulling me down with him. I let out a little giggle and he rolled himself on top of me and kissed me, sending sweet, tingling shivers down my spine. He softly trailed his lips all over my face, neck and collarbone. Then he pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap; Ari wrapped my legs around his body and we kissed deeply, my fingers ran through his hair and his hands ran up under the back of my shirt. Things between us were heating up fast.

"God, Ava, I can't seem to take my mind off you, and now it seems I am having the same issue with my mouth."

His voice was husky and his eyes were dark and lidded. I closed my eyes and felt my body melt in his hands. I pressed my lips back to his, our breathing got heavier and my mind began to get foggy. That's when I heard a soft creaking sound, but I couldn't place the noise because I was too caught up in our heavy breathing and the rapid beating of our hearts.

"Hey, you guys wanna watch _Caddy Sha_... holy shit, I deserved that. . . sorry."

Rory had scared me half to death and I let out a little scream. Ari pulled me off his lap and sat me next to him on the bed.

"Shut the door, Rory," Ari demanded calmly, but Rory just stood there, looking a bit like a deer staring at headlights.

"Shut the damn door, Rory," Ari said again, with more force.

"Right, sorry. I'll just leave the two of you to it then."

With that, he finally left and shut the door.

"I am so sorry, Ava." Ari looked at me sweetly while brushing a wisp of hair away from my face.

"No, it's fine. It is probably for the best that that happened anyway, Ari – I don't think I am ready to do _that_ yet."

Ari kissed my forehead, "I would wait forever for you."

I blushed and he smiled.

"Well, do you wanna watch _Caddy Shaaa_?" Ari teased.

"No."

"Good, me neither."

He scooped me up and tossed me on his giant pillows. I let out another giggle and Ari's beautiful smile spread, once again, across his face as he crawled under the blankets next to me, wrapping his body around mine. We lay there like that while he stroked my hair and traced circles on my back; he asked me another round of questions and I fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

****

I woke early, still wrapped in Ari's arms. I stretched and found my phone on the nightstand and saw that it was only four-thirty in the morning. There was no use in trying to fall back asleep. I was up. I snuck out of the room, went to the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee. Half way through _The Times_ , Andy joined me.

"Morning, Ava! I am not used to having anyone up before me. Everyone in this house likes to sleep in." He frowned. "Anything new?" He asked, pouring himself a cup.

"No, I had no dreams at all, actually."

"Strange," he said, scratching his head.

"Tell me about it. I can't remember having a dreamless sleep in my whole life until just recently."

"Hmmm. We will get this figured out," Andy said with determination, nodding more to himself than to me.

Aggie joined us an hour later, then Ari woke up and found us all in the kitchen. He kissed me on the top of my head and a sweet chill went down my back.

"Morning, Ava Baby," he said with a sleepy smile, and then started making a new pot of coffee.

I had read the paper completely, even the boring stuff, and looked up and noticed a pair of running shoes by the back door. I padded over and tried them on. They had to have been Lauren's because they were bright pink and orange Nikes, just her style. They were a perfect fit. Ari was sitting at the table, reading my discarded paper. I walked over to him and he instantly wrapped his arm around my waist and looked up.

"I'm going to go for a run; do you think Lauren would mind?" I said, pointing down to the borrowed shoes.

He gave a laugh, "Nah, she won't be up for hours, so you're good. Be safe. You want me to go with you?"

I smiled playfully, "Nah, you'd only slow me down."

Aggie giggled.

Ari kissed me goodbye and my cheeks grew pink. I was not used to this kind of affection, especially with an audience consisting of his family members.

As I walked towards the back door, Rory entered the house wearing his jogging gear. He noticed me heading out for a run.

"Ah, awesome, wait up and I'll go with you."

"Alright, I guess." I looked over at Ari, who was rolling his eyes at Rory.

"How was your night last night, Cuz, huh?" Rory asked, nudging Ari with his elbow. "Wink, wink."

"Rory," I said with agitation, "If you don't come now, I am leaving you. I have to be in class in less than three hours and I have homework to finish, so let's move."

"Yeah, alright. You'll fill me in later, won't you, Ari?"

By then Ari was already back to his paper, thankfully giving no attention to Rory.

I have to admit, running with Rory was actually fun. He kept pace and helped push me a little faster than I was used to running. I filled him in on the fact that I had not had any dreams.

"Yeah, that's because you were caught up in dreamland with Ari." He puffed and I chose to ignore his comment, knowing that acknowledging it would only provoke further Ari-related conversation. After that, we just ran and I concentrated on clearing my head. My world seemed to be happening too fast for me to handle.

We got back to the house and Rory veered off to his place to clean up before class. I made my best attempt to knock all the sand from Lauren's shoes and then walked into the house and put them back where I had found them. Ari was waiting for me, talking to his mom and looking as handsome as ever. He had on dark fitted jeans, dress boots and a light sweater. He would fit better in a J-Crew magazine rather than in his mother's kitchen. He astounded me. I felt even more aware of the fact that I had just run six miles and probably looked like it, too. We said our goodbyes to his family and Ari drove my car back to campus. He dropped me off at the front door to our dorm so I could clean up before class, parked my car and went to his own classes.

### Chapter 11

### Favorite Song

Ari began walking with me in the hallways at school, always holding my hand. We sat together in the lunchroom and ate dinner together in the evenings. At first, we got all kinds of second glances and curious stares. To the rest of the world, our relationship seemed to have come out of nowhere. Only Ari and I knew that we had really been together almost since the day I started at Dana Point.

I spent most of my evenings in the library, and, after hours, Ari and I usually hung out together in either his room or mine. I always tried to be good and proper and insist that he return to his room at night, but I woke up with nightmares and in every instance, he came right back to talk me to sleep. I had gotten only glimpses of the men that had been sitting at the round table in my dream. Their faces faded in and then right back out of my memory. Each night when I went to bed, I wondered if I would see them again; the thought of what they might have in store for me was scary.

On Sunday night the girls from my hall and I still gathered to watch a movie, but there wasn't as much actual watching as there had been. Sophie, Viola and Emily kept peppering me with questions about what Ari and I had going. I tried my best to appease them, but I am a private person so I dodged as many of the questions as I could without being kicked out of their little group. I think our whispered conversations upset Skylar and Keri. They shot their icy-cold dagger stares at me every time I opened my mouth.

Ari and I left for his home on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. I had agreed to join them for the long weekend. For starters, being at Ari's sure beat the alternative of being alone on a holiday... and then, too, the idea of spending four days without Ari seemed torturous. I packed up half of my closet even though we were going to be there only four days – no telling what might be called for. Ari and I spent Wednesday evening with his family sitting around eating pizza and watching _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation_. I had never seen the movie before and when the Alexanders found out, they freaked and insisted that I watch it with them immediately. Ari sat next to me on the couch with his arm wrapped around my shoulder. His sister splayed out on the floor in front of the television and his mom and dad sat together and held hands on the overstuffed chair for two. Rory showed up half way through the movie, flopped down beside Ari and laughed loudly, occasionally slapping his knee.

When the movie finally ended, Ari and I snuck quietly off to his room. He shut the door to his bedroom, then scooped me up in his arms. A quick breath escaped my mouth as Ari lifted me up around him and started kissing me. My back was pressed against the door and Ari's body was pressed firmly up against mine, keeping me in place. His teeth grazed my ear, sending a flash of heat across my skin. He held me in his arms, slowly made his way to the bed, and softly dropped me down on his fluffy blankets. He settled in next to me and we continued to kiss, his hands exploring the rest of my body until I felt my mind start to fade away and give in to temptation. I nudged him back and he knew it was time to stop.

Once my heartbeat returned to normal, I got up, disappeared into his giant walk-in closet to slip on a camisole and some girly boxers, and then joined him again under the blankets. Ari usually slept in his blue-and-white striped pajama pants and a white undershirt when he was with me, but lately he had been sleeping without the shirt, which was fine by me; I loved to nuzzle my face against his warm chest. The beating of his heart was like a lullaby and his scent was intoxicating. The sound and the scent of him made me pass out with a giddy glee.

****

Ari and I lay tangled up in each other limbs, his chest serving as my pillow and his face buried beneath my hair. The blankets had been lost to the other side of the bed hours ago. I heard Ari's door creak open, but I was too tired to give much acknowledgment to whoever was disturbing my sleep. I half-heartedly cracked one eye briefly and saw Andy walk into the room, with Rory and Thais standing behind him in the doorway. I groaned softly and buried my head more deeply into Ari's chest, wishing all three of them would just go away.

"Ari," Andy said as he shook Ari's shoulder, "come on, get up. Tee-time is in a half hour." Ari didn't budge. "ARI!" Louder this time. "Wake up!" Andy said again, shaking his son so vigorously that I could feel the strength he put into the motion. I made another small moan and Andy gave me an apologetic smile.

"Ari," I said in a whisper.

A smile spread across his face and he blinked his sleepy eyes at me. I tilted my head toward Andy and Ari's smile faded. I rolled my head grudgingly off Ari's chest to a nearby pillow. He gently covered me back up with the blanket, then rolled over and wrapped his arms back around my body, snuggling his face into my hair.

"Mmm, go without me." He groaned to Andy. "I can think of much better things to do than play golf with you guys."

Andy chuckled, "I'm sure that's very true, but I reserved this tee-time over a month ago and you aren't backing out now."

"Nick could go in my place," Ari mumbled.

"I don't think so, Ari." Andy's voice had become deep and authoritative. No one in this family liked to be told no.

Ari knew when to give in; he kissed me on the temple and sat up, "Fine, I'll go. I'll be out in a second."

I heard Andy sigh and mumble something unintelligible as he walked away.

Before the door closed, Rory sang out in his loud booming voice, "good morning, Ava!" I swatted my hand in the air at him and then rolled over in the opposite direction. Ari made his way to the closet, got dressed then came back to my side in bed.

"I'm only playing the back nine, so go back to sleep and I'll be here before you wake up." I pushed my head deeper into the mass of pillows and fell back asleep as he kissed me softly on the top of my head.

I don't know how long I slept before the dreams came to me. I was once again in a dark room dominated by the round table. The men I had seen once before were sitting around the table in deep discussion of something I couldn't quite understand. I remembered Andy asking me to stay in the dream as long as I could and to try to focus on my surroundings. The room was thick with cigar smoke and smelled musty. I sensed that the room was not large, but I couldn't actually see the perimeters. I stood still for a bit, acclimating myself to the darkness and the cigar smoke, then took a few steps closer so the men's faces were no longer hidden in the shadows. I stood for another short period of time, just looking at the six of them, studying them. Their features were all quite similar – dark hair, olive skin tones, and dark, old eyes – but their weight and height varied from one to the next.

I looked carefully at some papers that covered the table, but couldn't make them out, I took a few more steps, trying to see what was written on them, but to no avail. I stepped even closer. A sudden silence in the room caught my attention. I swallowed hard and looked up. The man in front of me was staring right at me... not through me, but at me. Somehow, he knew I was there. He started to shout, "Moirai, Fate. Fate, she is there!"

Backpedaling as fast as I could, I tried to force myself to wake up. The man reached out to grab me. Terrified, I slammed my eyes shut. I could feel hands around my shoulders. He was shaking me and my own screams echoed in my ear. When I finally opened my eyes, all I could see was... Ari.

"Holy hell, Ava!" he said, cradling my face in his hands. "What happened, what's the matter?"

Calming down and slowing my beating heart was a challenge and took several minutes. When I could, when the hysteria had calmed, I told him exactly what had happened.

"Are you positive they saw you?"

"Yes, I am absolutely positive. He looked right at me."

Ari let out a deep breath then stood up. "OK, don't worry. We'll figure something out," he said, echoing the words his father had used a week earlier.

"K." I tried to brush the dream away and move on by grabbing some clothes out of my bag and walking down the hall to the shower. I took my time washing my fears away and calming my nerves. After drying off, doing my hair and applying a pinch of make-up, I put on a black knit sweater that fell ever so slightly down my shoulder, paired it with a pashmina and a skirt, and made my way into the kitchen.

I found Aggie busy working on a huge Thanksgiving feast, and was able to settle down for the better part of the morning to help her. She gave me the task of making the pies. I made seven pies, which struck me as horribly ironic since I eat almost nothing with sugar in it except for an occasional spoon of peanut butter. I embraced the chore – it was a pleasurable enough way to get my mind off my fears.

Aggie was very easy to talk with. She asked me questions about my childhood, my mother, the foods I like to eat. She was playful and at times sarcastic; in other words, she seemed to be a lot like me. This was the first holiday I would be spending without my mom and my mind kept floating back to her, Chicago and the brownstone. I think Aggie could tell that I was homesick; all of a sudden, she came around to my side of the big marble island and held me in a warm hug.

She stroked my hair for a moment, then pulled back and took my face in her hands.

"Ava, I know I am not your mom and that I can never come close to filling the void her death has left in your life. But I want you to know that I will always hold you in my heart and that I am here to help you whenever you might need me."

Tears pooled in my eyes and Aggie threw her arms around me once more until I caught my breath.

"Here," she said, walking over to a shelf in the kitchen that held both cookbooks and pictures in expensive looking frames. She grabbed a 5x7 frame and handed it to me.

"This is your father, and this little guy here is Ari when he was just one year old. It was taken a few months before you were born."

The picture was of a smiling, good-looking man holding a little boy on his knee. Both of them had mischievous grins on their faces. Little Ari looked exactly like grown-up Ari – his eyes a bright, clear brown, his smile broad, and his hair stuck up all over his head. I felt a pang of jealousy and found myself wishing I had been the baby sitting on my father's knee in the picture with my dad instead of Ari.

"Adrian loved Ari so much. We were all so close. Your father was the best man in our wedding and Andy and I miss him dearly. I know there hasn't been a day that has gone by that Andy hasn't spent time searching for you. Adrian was so cryptic about your mother. He said so little about her; he wouldn't even tell us her name. It hurt us a bit to know that he was keeping such a large part of his life hidden from us, but now I know that he was trying to protect you... and us as well. Whatever was out there, he didn't want it finding our home. I will never forget the last time we saw him. He told us that you would find us someday and he gave us the letter to keep for you. He held on to Ari for dear life and cried. Thinking about how he was that day makes me suspect he might have known something that we didn't. I think Adrian somehow knew that Ari would one day grow up and fall in love with you."

I took in a sharp breath at her last comment, but Aggie didn't seem to notice. I gazed at the photo a little longer, then handed it back to Aggie.

"No, Ava, I want you to keep this; it's yours."

"Aggie, I can't take this photo. Thank you for showing it to me, but it belongs with you."

Aggie playfully shook her head at me. "Ava, you are just as stubborn and bull-headed as your father was, maybe even more so. I can tell that you and I are going to have some fun arguments and I look forward to them."

Ari's home began to fill up around noon and friends and family started in on decorating the three Christmas trees – a fir in the entryway, a spruce on the sun porch and then the largest one, a white pine, in the living room. Ari just shook his head and laughed at his mother's tree fixation, but I have to admit that the house, little by little, was being transformed.

Lauren sat at the piano punching the keys in an attempt to play some Christmas songs. I took a seat next to her and showed her the right notes to hit. She soon gave up and let me take over; I finished her song, then quickly threw in the Peanuts theme song for my own enjoyment. Lauren thought my choice was hilarious and gave me a couple of requests. I obliged her for a little while then snuggled up with Ari on the couch to watch _The Wizard of Oz_ on TV. I was feeling at ease with the Alexanders; I didn't even mind playing the piano with them around me.

Aggie prepared a huge Thanksgiving meal with all of the traditional menu items. There was the turkey, of course, and the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the gravy, green beans, rolls, some strange cranberry concoction that traditionally no one ever ate – and of course my pies. The spread was endless. Everyone sat at the dinner table, talking over one another, sharing stories and laughing loudly. Afterwards, I helped Aggie clean up by clearing dishes and wiping tables and counter tops.

Once we were done and the kitchen spotless, I found that most of the people who had stuck around into the evening were hanging out together on the deck. The air was mild and soft; the sky, a perfect clear black, was littered by millions of stars shining down on us. The deck was adorned with yards and yards of twinkling lights and lanterns, and music came softly through the outside speaker system. I walked out to join the others and started talking with Rory, who carried on and on about football until Harry Belafonte's "Banana Boat Song" came on. Rory let out a great sigh but had a smile on his face. He was trying desperately to feign a look of annoyance, but was failing miserably.

The music was infectious. Ari was all smiles as he pulled Lauren up off her feet and twirled her around on his way towards me. He pulled me into his arms and we danced while Ari playfully sang along with Belafonte. Ari is a great dancer, even when he is just being funny. He moved his body along with the beat and rocked me back and forth, sweeping me off my feet. My face hurt from smiling and laughing so hard. Several other people began to dance, Aggie and Andrew included, and when the song was finally over, all of the bystanders were clapping and laughing along. Ari didn't let go of me, though... he held me to him and kissed me with passion right there in front of everyone and the laughing turned into whistles and whoops. My cheeks burned with embarrassment and I tried to cover them up with my hands. Ari pulled my hands from my face and wrapped my arms back around his waist, and kissed me again, causing a giggle to escape my lips.

"That little noise you just made has become my new favorite song; it speaks directly to my heart," he whispered.

If my cheeks could have gotten any redder, they would have. I immediately felt shy and buried my face in Ari's shoulder; he kissed the top of my head and swayed with me back and forth to the sweet, soft rhythm of the next song on his playlist.

****

On Friday, Rory and I ran again and he talked about working with me on some cross training to help me gain some strength. He admitted that I could probably outrun anyone who tried to catch me, but added that if that person caught me off guard, I wouldn't stand a chance fighting him off. I accepted his offer of help.

After our run, I discovered that Ari and I had the house to ourselves, a nice change of pace. The rest of his family had gone out Christmas shopping and we took advantage of the quiet to go down to the beach to play around for a while. Ari got me a little closer to the ocean than I had ever been before. Thoughts of Mia came to me and I very quickly shot back a few extra feet.

"Of all the things there are to be afraid of! How did I find a girlfriend who is scared of one of the things I love the most?"

"I can't help it," I shrugged. "I just can't get near the water. It scares me."

"I'll get you in that ocean one of these days, Ava, and you are going to love it!" he responded.

****

The more time I spent with the Alexanders, the more I learned about myself and where I and the other Greeks of Dana Point had come from; I learned that when anyone is suspected of being a descendant of the Greeks, he or she is asked, "Who are you?" Earlier, after Rory and Ari had both asked me who I was and I hadn't responded with a breakdown of family history, they both assumed I was a watered-down version of a forgotten-about deity. I know now that I am Ava Zae Baio, a Moirai from Atropos and Lachesis. In English, I am known as a Fate. I determine destiny, I measure and cut the thread of life. I have the ability to focus on any person, find his or her thread and cut it. If I want, I can tell the exact second that someone is destined to die, and, if I feel so inclined, I can spare them and allot more time.

My dad, Adrian Moirai, was the most powerful Greek of our time. His mother had been a direct descendant of Lachesis and his father had come from Atropos. Together they had made a very valuable and prized commodity. My father was proud of his abilities and boasted about them – and the Kakos hunted him down when he was still very young.

When the Kakos found my father, he was living with Andy and Thais' family in California. My father's parents had worried that their son would be mixed up with the Kakos and had sent him to live with the Alexanders when he was still a small child. I learned that my father's parents had stayed behind in Greece. They had been killed three days after they sent their son to America. My father had had to cut his own parents' threads. Andy told me that being so connected to his parents' deaths had made my father bitter and that he had never forgiven himself for it.

Andy and my dad had been extremely close. My dad was the one who actually introduced Aggie to Andrew when they were just sixteen. Aggie told me that she had been taking photographs in a park one day and had asked my dad to pose for her. He declined, saying that he knew someone far better looking than himself and that she would be much happier with Andy as a subject.

My dad started working right out of high school. He graduated from DPI in the spring and started his own company that summer. He started buying failing companies and turning them into profitable enterprises. He had made several millions before he turned twenty-five. The Kakos came to him one dark day and offered him more. He was power hungry and couldn't resist. All he had to do was spare their lives and promise not to continue his own bloodline. If he agreed, he would have all the wealth and power he ever wanted and the Kakos would be free to live forever unharmed. My dad hated who he was. He hated ending lives and had no plans of falling in love or having babies. The darkness that surrounded him kept the expectation of happiness from him.

My dad had known that what he was doing was wrong. Making a deal with the Kakos was what his parents had hoped he would manage to avoid and was the very reason they had sent him to America. Their decision to send their son away also led to their own deaths. Once Adrian made his promise to the Kakos, he fell into a downward spiral and finally hit rock bottom. He was treated for depression in a hospital for some time before being taught by the attending physician how to turn his life back around again. My mother had just finished med school and had taken a job at White Memorial Medical Center. They fell in love immediately and they were married secretly by a justice of the peace.

My father was terrified that the Kakos would find my mom, Lucy, and kill her, so he kept their lives a secret from everyone he knew and loved.

Andy, meanwhile, suspected that my dad had gotten involved with the Kakos and convinced him to come clean one night. My father told Andy what he had done and how devastating the regret he felt was. He told Andy of his love for my mother, the secret marriage, and the unplanned baby on the way. But more than anything, he said, he was terrified that since he had broken his promise to the Kakos, the entire family would be hunted down and murdered.

Andy arranged to keep my father safe for as long as possible. My dad was told never to speak to my mother again if he wanted to keep her alive. He tried to stay away but when he found out that she had gone into labor, he couldn't resist trying to see her once more. He went to the hospital with the intention of seeing her again, with their baby in her arms, but the Kakos were waiting for him and he never made it through the front doors.

Andy searched for my mother and me but didn't know her name or anything about her. Nor did he know my name or even if I had been born a boy or a girl. He felt that I would be the key to ending the war with the Kakos, but he also knew that as hard as he was looking, the Kakos were looking even harder. It was only a matter of time before they found and killed me.

****

Saturday Ari made plans for us to see the Los Angeles Ballet Company preform Sleeping Beauty at Royce Hall. I had taken dance as a small child. I was not particularly good at it and decided, when we moved to Chicago, to put that hobby on the shelf. Lauren, though, is a dancer, and from what I understand, she is quite talented. She has the perfect body for ballet, long and lean and strong and graceful. Lauren's room had the same black-and-white, stylized canvas photos that Ari had in his room and they were hanging all about the walls. But hers were of Lauren, the dancer, posed in romantic tutus, warming up on the barre, doing a pirouette. One magnificent photo shows her doing a grand jeté.

So the fact that Lauren threw a royal fit when she heard that Ari was taking me to the ballet was no surprise. She begged him to take her with us, but he refused. She looked shocked when he told her no, as if he had never said that word to her before and actually, that might have been the case. Lauren glared at me the rest of the afternoon and I began to feel uncomfortable. Ari happened to catch one of her evil stares and he snapped at her.

"You weren't invited, Lauren, so get over it. Don't take it out on Ava."

"I'm not taking it out on her! I just don't see why she gets to go and I don't!"

Ari dragged his hands down the sides of his face in exasperation.

"Lauren you can be so obtuse sometimes I can't even stand it. I promise to make it up to you some other day."

This seemed to appease her quite nicely. Lauren looked up at me from under her long eyelashes and gave me a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, Ava. I hope you have fun."

"Uh huh," I said looking at her bemused. I have never seen a family so close knit in all my life. Clearly, whatever Ari had planned to do for Lauren was better than the ballet and she knew it.

Ari and I dressed up and went out to dinner for sushi and then to the show. Ari always looked good, and I had a difficult time keeping my eyes off him. . . that is, until the performance started. I don't think I turned my head or even blinked one time during the entire show.

****

I didn't have any more dreams the rest of the weekend. Andrew confirmed that the men I had seen at the table were in fact the Kakos. He was extremely concerned about my suspicion that they had been able to see me. I described for him my dreams of walking the halls and about how those people could always see me and talk to me. He explained that those dreams were different. I was supposed to be in them, making the choices. But as for the Kakos, they had not been expecting me and I should not have been visible to them. At the very most, I should have seemed more like a ghost, projected by their own concern.

I told Andy how, in the vision I had had of Mia's death, no amount of my screaming could get the attention of her boyfriend – he couldn't see me or hear me. Andy felt that the Kakos had been getting stronger, and more familiar with me and my abilities. I felt the overwhelming need to run away and hide. I was scared, terrified actually, but I was too tenacious to admit my fears aloud. I just nodded at Andy and excused myself from his study the first chance I had.

****

When we arrived at school on Sunday, I hung around with Emily until we joined the rest of the girls for movies and popcorn. When we said our goodnights, I headed straight for Ari's room, not wanting to be alone. He was already in bed asleep but the sound of his door closing woke him up. He rolled over, making room for me, and pulled up his blanket, allowing me to crawl in next to him. I had known for some time that I was in love with Ari. I was more than in love with him; I was intensely and forever consumed with my adoration for him. We were fated to be together. The love I had for him eclipsed all other emotions and senses. I had not known it before, but there was a hole in my soul. A piece of me had been missing, and for the first time in my life I was an integrated being. I was whole. I was happy. I lay there and listened to his quiet breathing and the soft murmur of his heartbeat and I slept, wrapped up tight and safe in his arms, all night long.

****

Finals followed, and then Christmas break. My homework had piled up. I had an etude that I had been composing for piano, but I changed it around whenever the mood came upon me and grew increasingly frustrated. I felt confident about most of my classes, but still spent the majority of my time in the library. Ari and I were neck and neck for the top of our graduating class and I really wanted to beat him. Most evenings I was joined in the library by Ari, Rory and Emily, and I was starting to see a lot more of Julia as well. I didn't know if she just needed to study or if she was using studying as an excuse to hang out with Rory, but I noticed the two of them together a lot more than usual. Julia was laid back around Ari and me. Ari said Julia had told him a while back that she didn't know how to act around him anymore. She is flirty by nature and maybe she thought it best not to say anything at all for fear of upsetting me. But Julia is sweet and I couldn't imagine her saying something that would ever anger me.

### Chapter 12

### Warning

Ari and I began spending every weekend at his family's house on the beach. There was never a dull moment. People argued, yelled, and placed ridiculous bets with one another over the most inane issues. They teamed up against each other and pulled pranks and jokes. I laughed constantly at their antics. Nothing was private and there wasn't one subject for conversation that was taboo. They discussed politics, sex, money and religion at the dinner table. It wasn't rare for someone to get angry and leave before the main course... and it wasn't rare for that same person to get over the difference of opinion that had driven him or her away and be back in time for dessert. The Alexanders were the closest group of people I had ever been around and they all had the unusual ability to make me feel as though I belonged.

I sat in the kitchen early one morning after a bout of nightmares. The sun had just peeked over the east side of the lawn and I had already read all three of the papers delivered each morning and had finished off more coffee than I really should drink.

"Morning, Ava Baby."

"Hi, Aggie."

"Couldn't sleep?"

I shook my head no and paused for a moment, hesitating.

"Aggie, _who_ are you?" My voice was a mere whisper. I hadn't had the nerve to ask that question of anyone yet. I am a very private person and have always hated to infringe on someone else's privacy. But Aggie smiled. She took a seat next to me at the kitchen island.

"Ava, I am Agatha Eleni Paris Alexander, descended from Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and sexuality." Aggie winked at me and I blushed.

"My mother's parents moved to America right after they married," Aggie continued. They had my mom, Eleni, shortly after. Eleni met her husband, Aristotle, in school and they married young. She had complications at birth and died. My father raised me," Aggie smiled again as she mentioned her father.

"When I met Andy, I was crazy in love with him. He owned me body and soul. My father forbade that I see him. He said I was too young and that Andy was a fool. He was worried about me. He was scared he would lose me the way he lost my mother. I disobeyed my father and ran off. Andy's family took me in, just as they have taken in any of us who has been in need. Theirs was a very full home. They barely had enough room for me or the money to feed an extra mouth. They had Andy, Adrian, Thais, Troy, who was Julia's father, and now me. I made some money with my photos and put myself through school and helped pay bills. I also helped put Andy though school and we were able to get a house of our own once we married. My father refused to come to my wedding. He said I was dishonorable and I had given him shame.

"Your father came to me one night. Adrian pounded on our door so hard he nearly knocked it down. My dad had been in his dreams; it was his time to die. Adrian urged me to go to him in his final hours to make amends. I was eight months pregnant with Ari at the time and Andy was away on business. I somehow managed to drive seven hours straight to be at my father's side. I was so scared. I thought he was going to turn me away and I loved him so much."

Tears formed in Aggie's eyes and she looked off to a faraway place as she described how her father had put his hands on her swollen belly.

He had asked her if she was healthy. He was still worried about her and she was still his little girl. She told him she was healthy, that she had had a perfect pregnancy and that she and Andy were expecting a strong, Greek, baby boy very shortly.

"He asked me, and Ava, his voice was strong with emotion, what we planned to name our 'strong Greek' child.

"My hands were shaking. Andy and I had not yet chosen a name, though we had argued about a couple for some time. But I couldn't bear the thought of my father dying and not knowing his grandson's name so, with barely any thought given to my action I told him we would name our son Ari.

Aggie giggled. "It just popped right out of my mouth. 'Ari,' I said, 'after his grandfather.'

My dad looked me in the eyes for the first time in ten years. 'That is a good name Agatha; you are a beautiful and smart woman. I am the one who has shamed you. I am sorry.' I held him to me and cried. He died in my arms."

I sat speechless for a few moments. Aggie's story was not at all what I had expected it to be. "So was Andy okay with the name Ari?"

"Yes, he thought it was perfect and it was. Ari came in to our lives and made everything perfect."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." My words slipped out and I flushed a little bit. It was true though; Ari had come into my life and made everything perfect.

****

I finished my finals on a Wednesday afternoon, a day before Ari. He had an all-day physics exam on Thursday.

I felt confident about my grades. Not that there was anything I could do to change them now. I had nailed down my piano piece, and for independent gym all I had to do was run five miles, so that was a breeze. Viola, Sophie and Emily left Wednesday night after we had a little Christmas dinner and gift exchange. They had loved the clothes at _baio_ , making my shopping for them extremely easy. Since Ari had his exam on Thursday, we weren't planning to leave for his house until Thursday night.

On Thursday morning, I found myself with nothing to do. My friends had all gone home, my boyfriend was in class and I had no homework worrying me. I plopped down on the couch in the commons next to Rory and started watching _The Today Show_ ; Matt Lauer was carrying on about all of the great new gifts available for the holiday season. Christmas was only five days away and I had hardly made a dent in my Christmas shopping.

"Oh, man, I have to do some shopping," Rory said, nearly reading my mind.

"Yeah, me too."

"Well, c'mon, Ava Baby," he said, pulling me up off the couch. "You drive and I'll buy lunch."

After grabbing my purse, keys, phone and cash, we made our way down to my car.

Our first stop was _Tiffany's,_ which was unbelievably packed with last-minute shoppers like ourselves. After a few deep breaths and some mental preparation, I made my way through the crowd to peer down at the glass cases displaying shiny and polished pieces of jewelry. I managed to find something Margaux might appreciate and I fell in love with a necklace that I knew would be perfect for Aggie. Rory kept drooling over an incredibly nice watch, so I quietly asked the sales woman to ring it up for me as well.

Recalling that Andy's study had caught fire earlier in the fall and that he had lost several books from his collection, I wandered into a bookstore to stock him up on some of the classics; classics including _Zorba the Greek_ , his favorite. Then I went excessively overboard for Lauren and got her three pairs of shoes, some cute boots, a pair of flats and an awesome pair of running shoes that I immediately started considering keeping for myself. Next, Rory and I decided to hit up H&M and I bought Lauren some new clothes too.

I had no idea what to get for Ari. As Rory and I sat down for lunch, I attempted to pick his brain for good gift ideas. He was no help at all.

"I got him a sweater; you can go halvsies on it with me if you want," he shrugged and chomped down on a corn chip loaded with salsa.

Rory held up the sweater. It was nice, Burberry, but about three sizes too big. I had a sudden suspicion that he bought it too big on purpose so Ari would just give it back to him.

"Uh, no thanks," I said with a disbelieving laugh.

The restaurant was packed with holiday shoppers, tables were pushed close together and people were shoved nearly one on top of another. I was, to say the least, uncomfortable. Out of the din came a voice, from the guy next to me as it turned out, complaining to some friend I could see only the back of, about how he had spent all of his cash on front-row tickets for the New Year's Eve _Vampire Weekend_ , _Ra Ra Riot_ show. And about how he had no money left to buy Christmas presents with. He added that he would like to sell the tickets quick for some ready cash.

Ari and I are both huge fans of _Vampire Weekend_ and _Ra Ra Riot_. I actually had tried to get tickets for the show a while back but they had been sold out since the day they went on sale. I couldn't help myself; I had to have those tickets.

"I'm sorry," I said, interrupting their conversation, "I don't mean to eavesdrop but you actually have front-row tickets for the New Year's Eve show?"

"Yep, best seats in the house. I had four but I sold two of them a week ago."

"How much are you asking for the two of them?"

"Five hundred."

I bit down on my lip.

"Do you have the tickets on you?"

He pulled two concert tickets out of his wallet and handed them to me.

"I'll give you three hundred cash right now."

The man chewed on his lip in thought, "I can do four hundred."

"No dice. Three fifty -- that's my final offer."

He hesitated, scratched the back of his head and leaned back casually in his seat. I thought I was going to lose the deal so I flashed a brilliant smile.

"Deal."

Yes!

I thumbed through the cash, handed it to him, took my front-row _Vampire Weekend_ tickets, and slid them into my clutch.

"Oh, my gosh, Ava, I cannot believe you did that," Rory laughed and rolled his eyes.

"When it's _Vampire Weekend_ AND _Ra Ra Riot_ , our two favorite bands, the tickets are totally worth the price."

"And so is Ari I hope," Rory said with an easy smile.

"Of course he is!"

"You know Ava, he really likes you. You should have seen him that day when he came to talk to me about you. I've never seen him like that before. I'm not gonna lie Ava, I did kind of have a thing for you, but when Ari told me that he loved you, I knew I couldn't stand in the way of that."

My jaw unhinged and nearly hit the table, and I had to remind myself to breathe.

"Oh man, I shouldn't have said that. I just assumed that you two were there already. . .he's going to kill me. Please don't say anything."

All I could do was nod, smile and muster up a "sure" to put Rory at ease. Then a thought popped into my head. This is Rory; I can get anything out of him.

"What did he say exactly?" I leaned in close on my elbows.

"Oh come on, Ava, don't do this to me."

"Please," I smiled a toothy smile and batted my eyelashes playfully.

"Ah, Ava, if he finds out, I'm dead."

"How will Ari ever find out?" I made my voice soft and sweet with perhaps just a bit too much inflection.

Apparently, this is all the convincing Rory needed. He is more gossipy than a blue-haired lady after church. Rory scooted his chair closer and leaned in on his elbows.

"Ari was nervous, Ava, I'm not going lie. I have never seen him like that before. Ari is always so collected and sure of himself. I had no idea why he wanted to talk to me. When he said he needed to talk about you, I was confused. I had never even really seen you guys talk together. I later found out that he had been sneaking behind my back at night, but whatever, I forgive him for that. Anyway, he told me that he loved you from the minute he first laid eyes on you. He told me he was sorry and that he had tried to ignore his feelings but he couldn't manage to any longer. He said that he thought there might be a chance that you felt the same about him and he had to find out if that was the case. And he wanted my permission."

This statement took my breath away. "Oh, holy hell."

"So... do you love him, Ava?"

"Yes, very much." My cheeks flushed and my voice was small.

After lunch, we finished our shopping. Rory got Julia a very nice gift, which surprised me, but I didn't comment about it. We stopped by _baio_ and I picked out some things for Ari, not really for Christmas but because I felt a little guilt about having pushed Rory to talk with me. I let Rory stock up on a few things, too. The greatest thing about Margaux and _baio_ is that she sells the best pair of aviator sunglasses I have ever found. Ari was always borrowing mine and losing them, so I grabbed a handful for both of us. We went up to Margaux's office, which was on the twenty-second floor of a building in downtown L.A., but she was too busy to talk with me so I left her gift with her assistant, Delia.

We stocked up on ribbon, wrapping paper and tape and then headed back to the dorm and dropped everything on the bed in my room.

_My Morning Jacket_ sounded through my laptop speakers and we spent the rest of the afternoon wrapping the presents. Ari came from his last exam and eyed the floor of my room. I skirted my way through the piles, hopping at times from foot to foot to reach him, bounced up on my toes and gave him a kiss.

"We got bored and went shopping."

"I can see that," he laughed and pointed to Rory. "Give me a hand with this stuff. Aggie will flip if we are late."

Ari and Rory filled up both my car and Ari's Rover with all the luggage and gift boxes. My dorm room looked deserted by the time everything was all packed up. It seemed the only thing I was leaving behind was my old quilt, some books and random pictures of Mia and me. Rory drove the Rover, Ari rode with me in my car, and when we arrived at the house, the two of them spent the next half hour unloading everything.

I sat down on a stool at the island and began to help Aggie with dinner.

"Looks like you guys are moving in, Ava."

"Yeah, it does kind of appear that way."

She gave me a kind smile, tilted her head to one side and said, "Hopefully someday soon."

I smiled back the best I could. I did not intend to move into the Alexander's home. I had always assumed that, as soon as I turned eighteen, I would move back to Canada or to Chicago – but that was before Ari, before I found out I was being hunted, before Mia died. Nothing was the same anymore and I had not yet tackled the issue of what I would do when the time came. I was still trying to get safely through the now. Maybe I could stick around in California, but I felt certain I would not be living in my boyfriend's parent's house.

After dinner, Ari surprised Lauren, just as he had promised he would, by taking her out on his friend's Catamaran to go whale watching. The trip worked out perfectly. Since I won't step foot on a boat, whale watching was something the two of them could do together. Ari pleaded with me to come with but he knew there was no chance I would. I'm pretty sure that Lauren was happy about that. Lauren and I get along great, but I think she was having a hard time sharing her brother with me.

After Lauren and Ari left, Rory, Andy, Julia, Nick and I hung around and played poker until Rory started cheating and I had to cut the game short. We resigned ourselves to sitting on the back deck and watching the sunset. The stars came out and before long Ari and Lauren arrived back home. Lauren was grinning and bouncing all around Ari as they came through the big glass door. Ari pulled me up from the bench I was sitting on and into his arms. I took a deep breath of the freshly cut grass, sea and summertime he brought with him. My stomach felt giddy and did a little flip.

"I feel as though I haven't seen you all day," he whispered, and then he put his mouth on my earlobe. I let out a little gasp and he took me by the hand and led me back inside the house.

As soon as Ari closed the door to his bedroom, he turned around and pushed my back gently against the glass wall. Ari's room looks down onto the deck we had just left. To everyone lounging along the glass wall we were like fish in a fishbowl, or so I thought.

"The glass is tinted and the lights are off, Ava. They can't see us." His voice was deep and rough in my ear.

He started kissing me softly again and then pulled back. I couldn't move forward to meet him because he had his body pressed up against mine. He kissed me and then pulled away again, flashing a mischievous smile at the same time. Ari played his little game a few more times before I let out a sigh in frustration.

"What's the matter, Ava?"

"You know."

"Mmm... no, I don't think I do." He kissed me again softly then pulled back away.

"You don't like it when I do that?" I shook my head no in response and he grinned.

"What about this?" He moved his lips to my shoulder and very slowly made a trail of kisses all the way up to the little spot behind my ear. My mouth opened up to a little O. I could feel his kisses all through my body down to the bottom of my stomach and through to my toes. Ari slid his leg in between mine so they parted and he could push himself closer up against me. My eyes fluttered shut and I tilted my neck back, allowing my head to rest on the glass behind me. His hands searched my body while our lips danced around on each other's mouths. Our breathing turned heavy and Ari lifted me up and wrapped my legs around him. My fingers knotted in his hair and I began to let my body take over, I wanted him so badly I thought I might combust. My eyes opened ever so slightly and I found Ari staring back at me. His expression had changed from needy to cautious and he put my feet back down on the floor and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips; putting an end to the passion.

"This is a little bit harder than I thought it would be," his gaze was careful as he brushed my hair out of my eyes.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I answered as I blew out a long breath from between my puffed out cheeks. Ari gave me a sweet smile and opened his mouth as if he were about to say something then shut it again, deciding not to. He brushed his thumb against my cheek then walked over to his bed and grabbed a pillow. I looked at him, puzzled.

"I'm going to go sleep on the couch," he said, giving me a goodnight kiss. I nodded; as much as I did not want him to go, I knew it was for the best.

My body was frustrated and I tossed and turned over an internal conflict I was having with myself. I had never really thought about having a sexual relationship until I met Ari. But lately it seemed that whenever my lips met his, it was all I could think about. There was a part of me, deep down inside, that was urging, pleading, and begging the other part of me to wait and I couldn't quite get that girl to shut the hell up and get out of the darn way.

I lay awake for what felt like hours. I couldn't get comfortable without Ari and a few times I seriously contemplated going off in search of him. I resisted, knowing that he was probably already peacefully asleep.

At some point, I drifted off and as soon as I did, I found that my dreams were packed full. First I was pacing the old familiar hallway with my scissors. I knew by this time that I could not ignore these people any longer and I began walking into the rooms. Some of the people were lying motionless in their beds. I read the charts and saw that many of them had been in a near-death state for a while. I did what I had to do, what I could do, to ease them into their next world.

Andy had told me that someone else might have been taking care of the terminally ill in my hospital dream since deaths had been occurring at a normal rate. He said that the family had been trying to track down the lost descendant of Clotho and that this descendant may have been cutting the threads. I admitted to having been negligent of my duty – I had had no clue that my dreams were anything but a reflection of the turmoil in my life. Andy supposed that the death rate had been more or less normal in the year prior to Perry's death but that in recent weeks, the phenomenon of death had come to a halt, and Andy deduced that, although he never found out who the person actually was, the last known descendant of Clotho had been killed. With Perry gone, Andy looked for me with even more determination. Little had he known that I was right under his nose.

The hospital dream faded and I found myself in the weird running dream again. I was running through the woods, running fast. I was panicky, searching for something, but didn't know what. Freezing cold rain pounded down on the earth and I had no shoes on, my feet were covered in slick, gritty mud. I could hear talking in the distance and I stopped, searching for the source of the conversation. The talking turned to screams and then I woke up, icy cold and trembling.

Surprisingly, I had slept longer than I normally do when I have nightmares. I got up and threw on an old, gray, hooded Pepperdine University sweatshirt of Ari's that I had adopted as my own. I brushed my teeth and splashed warm water on my face, then headed down to the kitchen. Aggie, Lauren and Julia were making cookies and Rory was seated at the island on a stool that was excessively small for him.

"Finally," he said with a humph. "I've been waiting forever – get your stuff on so we can go."

"What are you talking about, and where is Ari?" I asked, looking around the kitchen. Ari likes to sleep in, but the morning was half gone.

"I thought we were running," Rory grumbled, "and Ari is asleep on the couch. What's that all about?" I shrugged my shoulders. _How embarrassing_. What was I supposed to say – that I couldn't control myself enough to sleep next to my boyfriend so he had to sleep on the couch?

"Nothing," I answered, and slipped out of the kitchen to put on my Under Armour and old running shoes before any more questions popped up.

Rory pushed me harder and faster during the run. He left the beach for a stretch of rugged, hilly terrain. I was really beginning to like his style and the cross training we had been working on seemed to be paying off; I was lighter on my feet, more agile and could feel the strength in my back and arms as opposed to just my legs.

When we got back to the house, I hopped in the cold shower and washed all the yuck from my skin and hair and got dressed. I arrived back in the main part of the house to find Julia perched on a stool in the kitchen with her head resting in her hands. She looked utterly bored. I took a seat next to her, breathing in the delicious smell of the cookies baking in the oven. Ari came in with a yawn and a stretch and scooped me in his arms.

"Hey, Baby, good morning," he gave a cute, sleepy smile, then planted a kiss on my lips.

"Morning," I grinned back at him. "I missed you last night."

"Did you now?" His eyes twinkled.

"Mmm," I nodded.

Julia snorted and Ari peered over at her.

"So," he continued and looked back towards me giving me all of his attention, "Rory and Nick are having a party tonight on the beach and asked if I could help get some stuff together. You can come with me if you want."

"Umm..." I hesitated, making a sour face. Getting firewood sounded like the opposite of fun. I looked down at my toes and came up with a better idea. "I was thinking about going in to town and getting a pedicure."

"Pedicure!" Julia and Lauren squealed before Ari could respond.

"Uh, yeah. You want to come?"

"Yes, please!" was their very speedy response.

In the end, I found myself at a spa with Ari's mother, Ari's sister, Ari's Aunt and Ari's ex-girlfriend – not exactly how I thought I would spend my day, but it was actually kind of fun. The four of them backed off from asking embarrassing questions and carried on about Christmas plans and the night's party. Once our toes were dry, Gianna, Aggie and Lauren decided to head across the street to a giant department store for some last minute things. Julia talked me into sticking around and getting a facial with her. I really liked Julia, at least I thought I did until she opened her big, stupid mouth.

"So what's it like with Ari?" she asked casually.

"Uhh, good...great I guess."

"Yeah, he can be really sweet, huh?"

"Uh-huh," I answered, not knowing where she was going with the conversation. She was his ex after all.

"So... have you guys... you know?"

Holy hell, what is it with these people? "Um, no, I'm not really like that."

She stared at me dumbfounded. "I don't know why you would bother waiting, Ava; you're only young once and besides Ari is great in bed. Believe me, it's worth it." She peered down at her freshly polished nails.

I took a moment letting her comment sink in, my throat turned tight, my mouth went dry and I could feel the color drain from my face. Ari did tell me that they had been involved romantically, but I hadn't known to what extent. I guess a part of me knew that they had had sex; I mean they lived right next to each other in the dorms and I'm sure she stayed with him at home on the weekends. Julia certainly is not shy. I guess I just never allowed myself to think about them as a couple.

I didn't know what I was more upset about, the fact that I was so slow to figure out past history, or the fact that Julia was telling me how amazing my boyfriend is in bed. I knew one thing for sure: if she said another word about Ari in bed, her perfect nose would be broken in a matter of seconds.

I was saved, or Julia was saved I should say, by Gianna, Lauren and Aggie. They came into the spa and showed us some of the things they picked up across the street. I paid the woman for my toes and facial and drove us back without saying another word.

When we got back to the house, the guys were still gone. I sat down at the piano and began to play, hoping music would calm me down some. After a few minutes, Ari snuck in and sat down by me, planting a kiss on my cheek. I may have overreacted but I could not help the way I felt. I was angry and annoyed and, at that moment wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. I stood up and walked to his room, shutting the door behind me. I curled up on his chair and attempted to talk myself out of crying.

Ari came in after me.

"Ava, what's the matter? Are you ok?" he asked me, so nicely that it was hard to stay mad at him. Somehow, I managed.

"I know this is your room and your house, but can you just leave me alone? I don't feel like talking to you right now."

"Ava, what happened? What's wrong?" he begged, and tried to take my hand in his.

"Don't touch me," was my only reply. With that, he stood up and left, shutting the door behind him. I could hear his voice; it was full of anger as he reached the kitchen packed with people.

"What the hell did you guys do to have Ava so pissed off at me?" he asked heatedly.

The kitchen went quiet and moments later Aggie spoke up, "Ari, I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Whatever, Ava won't even look at me now. What happened?"

"Oops." I could barely hear Julia say it, but I knew it was her voice.

"Oops! Oops? What the hell is 'oops,' Julia? What did you do to her?"

"I didn't _do_ anything, Ari, but I guess I did get a bit carried away talking to Ava about you."

I could hear Rory's booming laugh.

"Julia," Ari's tone softened in an attempt to calm down, "What did you say to her?"

"I dunno, personal stuff I guess."

"What did you say?" he was yelling at her now.

"Personal things about you and me, Ari – do I have to spell it out for you?" she snapped.

Rory's laugh got much louder and I could hear a few giggles from Aggie.

"Holy hell, Julia, you are such a freaking idiot!" Ari shouted. I could envision him pulling his hair with both hands.

"I just thought it was harmless girl talk; I had no idea Ava didn't know," I heard her say.

"Julia, just leave."

"What _ever_!" I heard the door slam shut behind her. I watched from Ari's window as Julia stormed out on to the deck. She patted her dewy eyes with the sleeve of her knit sweater and ran out on to the beach.

Ari opened the door to his bedroom. "Ava Baby, please... I am so sorry."

"Whatever, Ari," I retorted. "You lied to me."

Shock, pain and a thousand other expressions washed over Ari's face. His voice dropped to near silence, "I would never lie to you."

"You lied by omission, Ari. We both agreed a long time ago that that was lying."

"Ava, seriously please, I am so sorry."

"Ari, just drop it. I tried to be nice to her and all she could do was talk about how great you are in bed. I can't even look at you right now."

The color drained from his face and I instantly felt bad for what I had said. He hadn't really lied to me. If I had asked him for the details of his and Julia's relationship, he would have told me.

"I am so sorry," he pleaded, and his face looked tortured. All I could do was to turn and face the other way to hide my tears.

Ari left me alone, as I had asked, shutting the door behind him. I stayed in his room for the rest of the afternoon. I skipped dinner, knowing that my stomach couldn't handle any food at the moment.

Rory poked his head in a little after dark and sat down beside me. "You comin' to the party?"

"Yeah, right. There is no way I'm doing that."

"Please, for me? I promise I will hang out with you all night; I won't leave your side."

I chewed on my lip and thought it over. To be honest, I was feeling a little bit better. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was still utterly disgusted, but it wasn't going to hurt anything to get out of this room for a while. "Fine, give me fifteen minutes."

Rory gave me a wink then kicked back in Ari's room. I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom to get dressed, fix my make up and put some life back into my hair. I put on some cute jeans with a pair of slouch boots and a faded _BRMC_ band tee-shirt and headed back to Ari's room to fetch Rory. I slipped on my favorite cardigan and followed Rory out to the fire.

The beach was full of people. Rory found us a free spot on a log and kept me entertained by telling hilarious stories of how he learned to surf. Then, out of nowhere, he turned serious and said, "He regrets that, you know?"

"Huh?" I said, caught off guard by the quick turn in conversation.

"Ari. He regrets the decisions he made in his and Julia's relationship. Don't tell her but Ari wished he had found you first. He and Julia started as friends and he should have kept it that way. I know he wishes he had. I heard what Julia told you about the two of them and, yeah, she is an idiot sometimes, but knowing her, she probably was just trying to be nice. I'm not defending her, but you should forgive them both. Ari is a complete wreck over this whole thing. What doesn't pull you apart will only make you stronger. Do you want to break up with him over this?"

"No," just the thought put me in a panic.

"I didn't think so. He is right over there, please forgive him and move on from this. You can't change the past, Ava. But you can work together on your future." Rory pointed across the beach. "He can't take his eyes off you and he is making Lauren hang out with him; I'm sure he is driving her absolutely nuts."

Rory always has a way of making me feel better. I threw my arm around his massive shoulders and gave him a little half hug.

"Thanks, Rory. You are such a good friend."

"Yup, that's what they all say, Ava Baby." He pulled me to my feet. "Now c'mon, please don't make him wait any longer. He is really dampening the mood of my party."

I rolled my eyes and took a step towards Ari, standing there on the other side of the fire.

"Lauren!" Rory roared from behind me, "make a break for it now!"

I watched as Lauren slid away from Ari and ran with a giggle towards Rory; they had probably been planning her escape all night. I made my way over to Ari and he looked at me with that adorable half smile of his, the one that melts my heart.

"Hey," he said quietly. I gave him a smile as I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest, breathing in his delicious scent.

He kissed the top of my head.

"I miss you, and I don't want to be mad at you anymore."

"I did lie to you, Ava. I didn't realize it, but you are right. It will never happen again."

A morbid part of me wanted to know the whens, how's and whys of Ari and Julia's relationship, but I pushed the curiosity away. Knowing would only make things worse for me. His past was just that. Rory was right, there wasn't anything I could change about it. . . and besides, who was I to judge?

Ari pulled my chin up and brushed his lips on mine; the tenderness lasted only a second. My lips were aching for him and I kissed him back with much more vigor. Ari wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer to him, and then pulled me through the crowd of people to walk together down the beach towards his home.

In the house we went straight back to Ari's room and as soon as he closed the door behind him, we picked up right where we had left off the night before. He placed my back against the wall, his body pressing firmly against mine; his hands were locked in fists around my hair. A low moan escaped my lips. He never stopped kissing me. He moved me over to the bed and climbed in beside me. My heart thumped through my chest.

When I woke up the next morning, I had fewer clothes on than I probably should have had, but then again so did Ari. I closed my eyes and remembered all the places Ari had kissed me and how his lips never left my skin. Nevertheless, we had still managed not to let things go too far.

I breathed in a sigh of relief, taking in my attire. At least I still had on my underwear – a little, black, thin-strapped tank with some cute black panties. Ari was still sleeping, our bodies were tangled together, and he had only a pair of boxers covering him. We had never made it under his sea of covers. I could have stayed there forever, listening to the beating of our hearts and the rhythm of our breaths. I closed my eyes and snuggled in even closer to him. I felt a soft, feather-light touch caress my thigh.

"Holy hell, Ava, you are so beautiful," Ari's voice was sleepy and raspy. I opened my eyes and looked into his. I ran my hand down his chest and he closed his eyes softly, his breath hitching in his throat.

"Stay in bed with me today," he said. "Please. . . just you and me and the blankets. And those panties," he added, wrapping his palm around my bottom.

"That sounds tempting, but it is a very bad idea for you and me to be in this bed any longer than necessary," I said, moving his hand back around my waist. "Besides, I'm sure at any moment one of your obscure relatives will come barging in demanding your attention." Just as I said this, Ari's door eased open, revealing Nick and Lauren, both of them decked out in full wet suits.

"Big swell today," Lauren said. "Let's go."

Ari let out a sigh, but before he could answer them, Rory came pushing his way through the door. He had his running gear on and clearly was waiting for me.

"I'm gonna leave you, Ava! Now c'mon, I want to get this run over with so I can join 'em."

Ari covered me up with the blankets, then he barked at them all to get out, adding that we would join them in a moment.

"Sorry, there is no sense of personal space or privacy around this house."

"Oh, I know," I replied with an eye roll.

Rory and I ran a quick three miles, but he still managed to kick my butt. When we got back, he rushed into his house to grab his board and I took a seat by Aggie on the beach to watch them surf. Even though I hate and fear the water, watching them play around with each other was fun. Ari was so cute while giving Lauren pointers. He is a natural in the water, but I had no way to judge just how good he was. I almost wanted to join him...almost but not quite.

About an hour later, Julia sauntered down the walk and took a seat on the beach next to me. I had not spoken to her since she made me angry the day before, but I hoped that I had gotten the point across that she and I were not at the moment _les amis_.

She was clueless and all smiles, as usual.

"Hey Ava, listen," she said, popping her gum. "I just want to say I am sorry for yesterday. I really like you and I hope we can be friends. Ari is right I was a complete idiot... I had no idea that..."

I throw my palms up to stop her. "Ok, Julia fine; just stop talking about it." What Ari ever saw in her I'll never know.

"K!" she said with a smile, throwing her arm around my shoulder and bringing me to her for a hug.

Ari noticed Julia's arrival and came up the beach, shaking his wet hair out. He pointed his finger at Julia, "I thought I told you to stay away from her."

"Ease up, Ari. I told her how sorry I am. We're friends again, it's ok."

He looked at me with a questioning gaze and I shrugged my shoulders and bit my lip.

Aggie seemed to think that the conversation was just hilarious. I guess from an outsider's perspective it kind of was. She laughed and got up, brushing the sand from her bare feet and hands and began to walk back to the house. Ari made his way back to the water, leaving Julia and me alone.

"I promise, Ava, that I will be on my best behavior from now on. I can really use a friend who isn't related to this family, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess I do," I answered. And I did honestly feel that way. If not for the fact that she used to date Ari, Julia and I probably would have been friends long ago.

As we sat together in the sand, she started to open up a little bit about herself. Julia is a descendant of Cassandra, princess of Troy. Cassandra had been acknowledged by the Greeks to be the second most beautiful woman in the world. Her beauty was compared to that of Aphrodite. Julia's father, like mine, had been greedy and had been swayed by wealth and power to join the Kakos. He soon realized what a huge mistake he had made. He fled, taking his family to England, but to no avail.

"It was the middle of the night." Julia's voice was quiet and a bit shaky. "My mom rushed in to my bedroom. She threw her palm over my mouth and pulled me under the bed. She hid me from the Kakos. She shoved a crumpled note in my hand and told me to stay put, not to move or make a sound until someone found me. The Kakos found my mom in my room, my dad tried to fight him off and save my mother but my dad was no match for that kind of evil. I heard their screams. I could see everything happen through a slit in my frilly, pink dust ruffle. I was too scared to close my eyes. I witnessed everything. The man had a knife; he struck them both so many times. Their blood pooled on the floor and eventually, their breathing, cries and muffled moans stopped and I was alone.

I waited under the bed for two days. I was afraid the Kakos was still there waiting for me. A police officer found me covered in my parent's blood. I couldn't speak I was so scared and traumatized. My hand was still balled up clutching my mother's handwritten note. On it was Andy's phone number. The police officer took me to a hospital and a day later, Andy showed up for me. I remembered him from when I was really little. Before we had moved away to England, my parents used to take me over to the Alexander's house on Sundays so I could play. I loved their house and the fact that there were so many kids my age to play with. Andy took me away from England and the bad memories and added me to his family. He gave me my own room and clothes and friends. I got to go to school with Ari. The Alexanders saved me. Ari saved me."

Julia closed her eyes as she finished recounting her family history and I saw a small tear slip down her porcelain cheek. I put my arm around her and she put her head on my shoulder.

"I heard them die, Ava. I didn't do anything to save them. I was such a coward."

"You weren't a coward, Julia, they would have killed you, too and you know it. You did the right thing."

"Ava, I am scared for you. I've seen the Kakos in action. I know what they are capable of."

"Promise not to tell anybody, Julia?"

"Promise."

"I'm scared, too. I keep telling myself that nothing has really happened. I keep pushing my mother's death back to the recesses of my mind. I allow myself to accept happiness here. I am too happy and too comfortable and just want to relish what I have."

"Ava, the deaths of your parents were very real. The danger you are in is very real. Be diligent. . .don't let the Kakos sneak up on you. You won't stand a chance."

I let Julia's warning sink in a bit, then made my way back up to the house, knocked all the sand off my body, and went in to clean up.

By the time I was clean and sand free, everyone had gathered together on the deck. I found Ari lying on the hammock, talking to Thais, Nick and Andy. He pulled me onto the hammock with him, making me feel safe and that I was the only other person in the whole universe. While we rocked gently back and forth, Andy talked with his son about the Kakos and their possible whereabouts. Ari listened carefully, responding from time to time to his father's comments, all the while stroking my hair and running his fingers up and down my arm. He talked to Andy in a low and gentle voice, never taking his eyes off me.

Ari's parents, along with the rest of his large family, were never annoyed by his lack of attention. They watched him watch me, and they smiled. At first, I didn't know how to react. No one had ever been this affectionate with me before, but I loved the way he made me feel, so I didn't protest.

One time, when we had first started dating, I woke up from a nightmare and found Ari already asleep by my side in my dorm room. (My "being proper" had lasted a total of one week. We were totally unable to be apart at night.) I asked him how he had come to feel so comfortable around me, knowing how much I like my space and how seriously I communicate to other people that I prefer they keep their distance.

"They don't understand you like we do," he said simply. "People are born with an ability to sense danger, you know... like when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up or when you get goose bumps." He trailed his soft fingers up my arms and little bumps appeared like magic. "You may cause some people to feel in danger, because, honestly Ava, you are incredibly dangerous. You can zero in on anyone and take him away."

I looked at him with a frown. "I'm not like that."

"I know you aren't like that, but you could be, and deep down inside people possess the primal urge to keep their distance. I think the rest of us can't help but want to be near you; you draw us to you as a flame draws a moth. We can feel your power. You are our hope. . . and it is in our blood to honor you."

"How could you tell I was like you?"

He paused for a moment, considering my question.

"Well, we all suspected something. There are a lot of Greeks here in Dana Point whose bloodlines have been so washed out that they don't even know they are Greek, let alone descended from an ancient deity. I don't know what I thought you were, but I knew that I couldn't take my eyes off you."

His admission made me blush a little and I was thankful for the darkness.

"I can see why it may bother you," he continued, "to have people cross the street when they see you coming. But I think you might like the alternative even less," he said.

I considered his own dilemma.

Although Ari has never given me the breakdown of who he is, I know he is the descendant of Adonis and Aphrodite. Adonis was the mortal God of beauty, and people flocked from all over to be near to him, especially women. When Ari and I are out together, I see people stare at him, or take a step toward him, just wanting to be near him. Ari often finds himself caught in conversations with perfect strangers; they feel the need to tell him their whole life story. No wonder Ari has perfected the art of conversation. He has had years of practice, and is always kind to people who come up to him.

We complement each other nicely that way. I keep most people away, and people who do approach Ari don't feel comfortable enough with me around to talk with him too long. Lauren has the same effect as Ari; she is the most popular fifteen-year-old girl I have ever known, and she's always in trouble because of it. She is always sneaking off at night to some party somewhere and there's usually a boy involved.

"How come I can't kill the Kakos by cutting their thread at night?"

"Hmm?" Ari had fallen back asleep.

"I can't kill them at night in my dreams like I can anyone else. Why?"

"Mmm... You can. They are just harder to find. You find people by locating souls, but the Kakos don't have souls. You are the only one with the power to end their lives. The trick is going to be to get them close enough to death for their threads to be visible. He pulled me closer, kissed my eyelids and fell back asleep.

### Chapter 13

### Merry Happy Love

I went over to Rory's Christmas Eve morning when he failed to meet me outside for our run. He was asleep and still in the clothes he had had on the night before.

"Rory, get up!" I shook him and nudged him with my foot, but my prodding was of no use.

"If you're trying to get him to run with you, Ava, forget about it. He just got home an hour ago."

"You're joking."

Gianna shook her head in a playful way. "I wish I were. I was worried sick about him. Always out chasing girls," she _tsked_ and shut his bedroom door.

I followed her down the hall to the kitchen. She had been baking bread and the whole house smelled like a bakery; it was wonderful. Julia sat perched on a stool, reading _People Magazine_. I glanced at the cover; some new scandalous celebrity break-up. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Don't give me that crap, Ava. See what I am reduced to? Baking bread for hours on end? This," she said, shaking the magazine at me, "is my only escape."

"You could do homework," I suggested.

"It's Christmas break!" Julia bounced down off the stool. It was her turn to roll her eyes at me. She picked up a stack of magazines and carried them off towards her room down the hall next to Rory's.

"Don't worry about her," Gianna said, waving her hand in the air at Julia's empty seat. "She's been moody for weeks. I think Thais is rubbing off on her."

Gianna could be really naïve. She had no clue about Rory and Julia. Julia had started to really like Rory and Rory had backed way off from her, deciding to try a hard-to-get approach. It didn't seem to be working in his favor, though... Julia had obviously overheard the little comment Gianna had just made about Rory chasing girls and it hadn't sat well with her.

I washed my hands and began to help Gianna knead bread dough.

Gianna loves to talk. I can see where Rory and Nick get their personalities. She is loud and has a full, happy laugh. I didn't understand how someone like her had ended up with someone like Thais. I guess sometimes opposites attract. Almost as though reading my mind, Gianna opened her mouth to tell me her story.

"I met Thais in a job interview," she smiled. "I had gone to the law firm he shared with Andy in hopes of becoming his legal assistant. I didn't know what he looked like and I was nervous. It was my first interview ever. My mom and dad never let me work while I was in school –not even a part-time job. When the time came for me to enter the real world, I had no idea what I was doing.

"Thais could tell I was nervous. He took me back to his office and got me a glass of water. He must have asked a dozen times if I would be okay. He started the interview, got a few questions in and then stopped. I thought I had really messed it up.

But he said 'Ms. Marco, I am afraid that I will not be able to hire you.'

"I was so upset I thought I would cry right in his office, but then he said, 'You could be the most beautiful woman I have ever met. I can't seem to think straight with you in here. Any attempt to work together is not going to fly. At the risk of being too forward I would like to ask you out on a date instead.'

"I was stunned, Ava! Thais was so smart and handsome and well spoken. And I knew who he was. My father is Greek, a descendant of Achilles. My mother is from a Naiad Nymph. My father had actually lined the interview up for me. I never dreamed a man like Thais would be interested in someone like me.

"I agreed immediately to go out for dinner, and he said, 'Great, let me help you out with that job now.' He took me by the hand and walked me down the hall to Andy's office door. Andy was on the phone, but Thais took the receiver from his hand and hung it up. Heavens, did Andy look less than thrilled! Then Thais said, 'Andy, this is Gianna. She's here about a job. I have gone through her references. She would be a perfect fit as your assistant.'

Andy shook my hand, showed me my desk, and told me to get that person back on the phone for him right away.

"I married Thais three months later and I have worked for Andy ever since. Don't let Thais fool you. He is a very kind man. He would do anything for his family, Ava. And he would do anything for you."

****

On Christmas Eve night, we all dressed up and spent the evening at Thais and Gianna's home. Thais is older than Andy is by eighteen months and, like his brother, is a descendant of Adonis. He and Andy share a megawatt smile and handsome, dark-brown eyes. The two are partners at their law firm, Alexander & Alexander, where they specialize in family law. Nick hopes to follow their example, but Ari and Rory have no desire to be involved with the practice of law. Thais is louder than Andy and can be a little bad tempered at times; he certainly does not have Andy's patience and understanding. Gianna and Thais' home is much more formal than that of Ari's parents and, aside from at their beach parties, everyone is expected to be on a "best-behavior" setting.

Andy and Aggie's get-togethers are always on a no-holds-barred basis; family and guests are free to relax and come and go as they please. Holidays are an exception – at those times, Aggie sticks to a tight schedule and wants people looking their absolute best.

The formality of Gianna and Thais' home is probably why Rory and Nick are usually over at Aggie's. I had heard, too, that Julia was having a difficult time living with Gianna and Thais, and had considered moving back to a dorm. Thanks to me, though, there were no openings. Julia had confided in Lauren, who, of course, blabbed to everyone that Julia was planning to move out on her own once she graduated. Lauren said Rory was devastated when he heard the news.

The house was packed, as usual, with people drinking and carrying on; the food was exquisite – Gianna served roast duck and potatoes in a rich glaze with a side of carrots, peas and crunchy bread. Every room in their house was decorated with beautiful Christmas decorations. Gianna had even decorated Nick and Rory with thick and scratchy-looking sweaters, red for Rory and green for Nick.

After a few hours, Ari and I snuck away. It always seemed that if we weren't sleeping, we were surrounded by swarms of people, and while I loved the fact that there were always people around, I came from a home that held just my mom and myself. My mother worked eighty plus hours a week; down-time was the norm. Ari's busy home was a nice change of pace, but if we had a chance to be alone, we didn't take a pass on it. We eased out Rory's front door while the rest of the family had cocktails in Thais' bar, got back to Ari's house and put on a movie downstairs in the den; a space that no matter what the Alexanders called it was larger than most Chicago apartments that I had ever been. There was a huge, wrap-around couch and a large-screen TV mounted to the wall above a fireplace. A fully stocked wet bar and a keg of Heineken that was always on tap faced the sitting area and a pool table with a nearby poker table filled another corner.

Ari lit the fire with a push of a button and turned all the lights off. We watched all of thirty seconds of the movie before things between us started to heat up big time. My head was lost to the clouds within minutes and we started to cross the line a bit when suddenly we were stopped by the flick of a light switch. Rory, and half of the partygoers from his home, came barreling down the stairs. Ari shouted out quite a few profanities, while I quickly made myself more presentable.

"What?" Rory responded to Ari's language with a laugh. "It's getting late and mom kicked us out. We're just going to play some pool. No big deal!"

Ari just stared at him for a moment with cold steely eyes then said, "I hate you, Rory."

"Nah, you'll thank me later." He pointed at me, smiled and winked, and added, "You too."

He was probably right. I don't know what I had been thinking; a basement was hardly the most romantic or private place. We headed up the stairs to Ari's room, where he grabbed a pillow and kissed me on the forehead.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch," I pouted.

"Uh... yeah, I think I do. I'll see you in the morning."

I gave a small sigh, then said goodnight.

Despite my frustration, and cold toes, I managed to fall asleep. Right away I found myself running in the woods again, wet and cold, searching frantically for something. My muddy bare feet slipped on the rocky terrain. I had to stop several times to keep from falling. The rain was relentless and I again heard screams in the distance. I shot up in bed with a start, breathless, my heart pounding and my palms sweaty. The clock read only four a.m., but I knew there was no way sleep would find me again.

Quietly, I made my way down the hall and took a cold shower, trying to wash the fear away and hide it before anyone could detect my uneasiness. Something different had emerged in the forest dream. Details had become much clearer and seemed much more real, but I still had no idea what I was doing out there in the woods and for what I was so frantically searching. I was scared to death of how the dream would end, and had no clue about how to control that end.

I had been firmly avoiding the fact that I was being hunted. I resisted facing reality while my actual life was so happy, but I knew I had been dealt a couple of really bad cards – the passing of my mother, the loss of my best friend, and the fact that I felt solely responsible for my grandfather's death – and I had never believed I could be as content as I was. Ari made me happy; I just wanted to revel in that happiness a little while longer. I had considered Julia's warning seriously, but then had relegated it to an obscure part of my mind. Eventually it was nothing more than a remote possibility.

I took my time getting ready for the day, scrubbing my face, choosing the right clothes. I headed down to the dark shadowy kitchen; I was still the only one up and desperately needed to keep my mind occupied. I made a pot of coffee and started on the paper. I got through _The Chicago Tribune_ and half way through _The New York Times_ before anyone else woke up.

Aggie and I made a breakfast large enough to feed an army. She talked happily all Christmas morning and had fun teaching me some of her favorite holiday recipes. Ari popped his head in through the doorway and saw me sitting at the island, frosting cinnamon rolls. He gave me an award-winning smile, then came in and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Baby."

Aggie smiled, "Merry Christmas to you, too, honey; you're so sweet."

He smiled playfully at her, "I didn't mean you, Mom, but Merry Christmas to you, too." I had frosting on my fingers and to my surprise, Ari popped one of my fingers in his mouth and sucked the white, sugary topping off, licking his lips. Ari then grabbed a roll, and headed to the shower.

My cheeks were red hot when I looked up at Aggie.

She giggled at me and batted her eyes.

"What's going on with him on the couch, Ava; is everything all right?"

I smiled at her.

"If you don't tell me, he will," she said and returned my smile, putting a wicked twist on it.

"Not if I tell him not to," I said, and she didn't like that response at all.

She hit me playfully with her dishtowel. "You're no fun, Ava. You never give anything away."

In the living room, I found Andy and told him about my most recent dream, trying to be as nonchalant about it as possible. He told me that he had friends back in Greece who were trying to track the Kakos, but no one had been successful yet. Panic began to rise in my chest as the "remote possibility" moved in a little closer.

"What if they aren't after me? What if they're after one of you guys? I mean, who was that screaming in my dream?" The idea that the Kakos would hurt someone in Ari's family made me stick to my stomach; I would rather be the target than to have anyone in my new "family" hurt.

Andy could see I was starting to freak out.

"Don't worry about it, Ava. Your father believed in you and so do I."

"Believed in me to do what? Kill people? I don't want to do that!"

Andy looked at me from the corner of his eye and then pointedly scanned the rest of the room. His look said that I had not chosen a good time for this discussion.

Ari came in shortly after and his presence alone calmed my nerves. He sat right next to me on the couch and held my hand tightly in his. He brought my fingers up to his mouth and kissed each one slowly, then filled my palm with little kisses. The rest of his family gathered in around us and around the tree, talking excitedly.

Thais played Santa and passed out presents. There were so many wrapped boxes that Aggie's living room tree was completely hidden. She had holiday music on in the background and looked at the happy faces with delight as everyone began to open gifts. Lauren squealed with glee each time she opened a different box and Andy thanked me for helping him get started on his collection again. Rory plunked a box on my lap with a sheepish smile, a very rare look for him. I tossed a small box at him and we opened our gifts from each other at the same time. His eyes lit up when he saw the _Tiffany's_ watch he had been drooling over a couple of weeks ago and then threw his head back and laughed. I didn't get the joke until I opened my gift and saw that he had gotten me the running shoes I had wanted for myself when he and I were shopping.

Even Julia had gotten me a gift, which made me feel bad because I had not gotten her anything. When I opened the box, I found an incredibly tiny, barely there string bikini. I snapped the box shut; but not before Ari snuck a peek.

"Ah, Julia, I knew you were good for something," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I elbowed him in the ribs, hard, and then turned to Julia. "You shouldn't have, really," I said, and she smiled, completely unaware of the little note of sarcasm attached to my words.

Luckily for me, Ari had been on top of things and handed her a box, saying, "This is from Ava and me." I looked at him and he winked. I watched as she opened the gift with curiosity and Ari whispered in my ear, "Don't be mad, please."

I didn't have time to respond to him. I was too taken aback by Julia's reaction. She swallowed hard and tears poured down her face. She got up, hugged me first, and then hesitated, not sure if it was okay to hug Ari or not. He stood up, grabbed her hard, and held her tight as she cried. The whole room, myself included, waited for an explanation.

She passed around the box and Ari whispered in my ear, "Airline tickets to England. She never got to pay her respects to her parents."

I was almost speechless. "Ari that's..."

"Are you angry?"

"No, of course not... I was going to say, that's so kind of you."

He handed me a small box and I found the little box I had wrapped Ari's tickets in and handed it to him. I took the Christmas paper from my present and then popped the top off. Inside I found concert tickets and was instantly confused, thinking these were the tickets I had gotten him. I checked the wrapping to be sure I had not opened the wrong gift by mistake. Ari opened up his box and held up two more tickets to the same show. All I could do was laugh. He was the person who had bought the other two tickets from the guy in the restaurant.

Rory had seen what had happened and was ecstatic, "Sweet, looks like I'm spending New Year's Eve with you guys!"

Ari rolled his eyes at Rory then turned his attention back to me.

"Good thing that's not the only thing I got for you," he said and reached in his pocket to pull out a delicate looking silver ring. He handed it to me. Inscribed all around it, over and over again, was _Ava, Je t'aime, Ava, Je t'aime, Ava, I love you._

I gasped, "Ari, it's beautiful."

He pulled me to him and whispered in my ear, "Ava, I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered back. _"Je t'aime aussi."_ We kissed sweetly, not caring that we now held the attention of the entire room.

The rest of the day passed at a nice slow pace. I helped Lauren carry all of her gifts to her room and get them put away. I took my gift from Julia and shoved the box with the bikini in it deep into the recesses of Ari's closet.

"Ahhemm," Ari cleared his throat, startling me. "What do you think you are doing with that?" He was leaning in the doorway to his room with his arms crossed causally over his chest.

I blushed, "hiding it."

"You are hiding clothes in a closet?" He smiled playfully at me and I giggled.

"Ari I know clothes and nothing about the black scrap of material in that box classifies it as clothing!" Ari sauntered towards me and wrapped an arm around the small of my back. He took his other hand, twirled a tendril of my hair around his finger and kissed it.

"Do you know what I love about you, Ava?" I blinked and Ari continued. "I love your smile, and your laugh. I love that you are so wickedly smart and funny. I love this," he said pointing to the blush on my cheeks. "I love you, all of you and I have wanted to tell you that for a really long time now."

I could feel my cheeks turning more and more red. Ari kissed them and smiled.

I looked up at him from under my lashes. "I love you more."

He slowly shook his head. "Impossible."

****

I tried all day to keep the butterflies in my stomach at bay, but every time I glanced down at my finger, my stomach did a little flip. We all sat down to a big Christmas dinner and everyone talked happily about all of their gifts. Rory went on and on about how pumped he was about seeing _Vampire Weekend_ with _Ra Ra Riot_ on New Year's Eve.

"Who even said you could go, Rory?" Ari finally asked.

Rory looked like someone had slapped him across the face, "Awe, c'mon you guys gotta let me go."

"There are two extra tickets, Rory. Who are you going to take, your ma? No offense, Aunt Gianna," he added.

"Take a look around, Ari. Anyone in this room would want to go. I don't care who else goes, just please let me be one of them."

"Fine Rory, you can come with us under one condition -- no more barging in on me in my room. In fact, I want you to stay away completely. Until the concert, if you need to talk to me for any reason, you can text me. If you and Ava are going to run, you wait for her outside. Do you understand?"

"Ouch, I'm hurt cuz." Rory said, really looking hurt.

"Well, what's it worth to you?" Ari retorted.

Rory put his napkin on his plate and stood up. "Fine, I'll do it, but if I keep my side of the deal, and believe me I will, I get both tickets and I get to pick the person I want to bring with me."

"Fine, deal." Ari said.

Rory had a horribly mischievous smile on his face, "Good it's settled then." He turned to face Julia.

"Julia, would you like to go on a date with me on New Year's Eve? I have two tickets for _Vampire Weekend_ and _Ra Ra Riot_."

Apparently, Rory had given up on the "hard-to-get approach" and was going all out! The entire table shifted attention to Julia. You could hear a pin drop. Julia was caught seriously off guard and her cheeks actually turned pink. After a beat, she smiled up at Rory and let out a small "yes." Rory did a victory dance, grabbed a whole pie and walked out.

Ari put his face in his hands while I shook with laughter along with the rest of the table. Andy slapped Ari on the back, "nothing like taking your cousin and ex-girlfriend out on a four hundred dollar date, huh?"

Ari mumbled something under his breath that sounded like a cuss word and I laughed even harder.

After dinner, Ari and I helped Aggie clean up. She bumped Ari playfully with her hip. "You shouldn't have done that to poor Rory, kicking him out like that. I like having him around."

"If I have to hang out with Rory on New Year's Eve, then the least he can do is leave me alone for a few days. I swear every time I turn around, there he is."

"Cut him some slack, Ari. You and Ava are his best friends. What do you expect him to do?"

"Yeah, well it doesn't matter anyway. He's going to slip up and come waltzing through that door before you know it."

"If that's the case, then you can always take your mother and father along with you to the show," she said with a wink.

With that, Ari rolled his eyes, took me by the hand, and led me to his room.

### Chapter 14

### No. Game

"Mmm," I blinked, waking up tangled in Ari's arms, "I love your bed."

"I love the girl that's in my bed."

I tilted my head up and kissed Ari on the lips and replied, "I love you. I love telling you that I love you."

"Me too."

The week did pass by more peacefully than usual without Rory walking in uninvited and unannounced. I had no bad dreams. Ari and I woke up later and later each day, wrapped up tight in one another's grasps, which caused me to greet Rory outside for our run later and later.

"I'm gonna leave you if you're late like this again, Ava," he sighed, as I showed up an hour after our usual time.

"Lighten up, Rory," I poked at his rib cage. "Just think, you could sleep in, you don't have to hear Ari call you an idiot all the time, and you get two free tickets to the best show all year. By the way, is Julia really going?"

"Um, yeah, I hope that's cool. We've been hanging out together a lot lately."

"Yeah, sure, that's great. I'm glad to hear it."

"Have you regretted not having me around to save you from yourself?"

"Rory, if you're asking if I am still a virgin, then the answer is yes," I snapped and pushed off on my feet leaving him behind.

"Hey," he was at my side in a split-second, "I wasn't trying to intrude on your privacy. Sorry. If it means anything to you, I am one too; a virgin that is."

I nearly tripped over my own two feet; I had no idea how to respond to Rory's confession. Topics like sex make me uncomfortable, but the Alexanders talk about sex as though it's the weather – without an ounce of self-consciousness. I will never get used to it. Their conversations always turn south when I'm around; I think it's because they enjoy watching me squirm and blush.

"Just please don't tell anyone," he begged.

"Rory, it's nothing to be ashamed of. . . it's a good thing."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

We finished the rest of the run in silence, and when we got back to the house, Rory stood on the beach and watched as the tide changed.

"K," I interrupted his concentration, "I'm not running tomorrow, so I'll just see you tomorrow night, I guess."

"Right ya, bye."

I headed to the shower and cleaned up, and when I got out, I heard a ton of screaming and yelling. I padded my way down to Ari's room to be sure everything was ok. Ari was sitting in his chair reading a tattered copy of Kafka's _The Metamorphosis_. There was a coffee stain on the front cover and several dog-eared pages. Ari looked up at me from over his reading glasses and smiled.

"What's going on out there?" I nodded my head in the direction of the fighting.

"Lauren got caught sneaking out of the house to meet some friends last night. As far as I can tell from what I have heard, she's grounded indefinitely and isn't even going to be allowed to go to town tomorrow for the New Year's party. She is taking her punishment pretty hard. I guess she'll be the only one home tomorrow night."

"Bummer. She should know better than to go sneaking behind Aggie's back."

"Ha," Ari laughed, as I crawled onto his lap to read with him.

****

Ari and I lay interwoven together in bed. I felt his hand run down the length of my back. I blinked my eyes open. It was only two in the morning.

"When is doing something you know is wrong the right thing to do?" he murmured his question sleepily in my ear.

Snuggling deeper into his chest, I thought about my answer. I knew what was worrying Ari. Could I do it, could I kill?

Everyone comes from somewhere. Some of us come from good and others from bad. The best part about life is that we have the ability to rise above the situation we find ourselves in; we are dealt certain cards, yes, but we don't have to cheat to win. My father made the wrong choice; Andy made the right one. I hoped I would make the right ones, too. We were at war, a silent war that would not be reported on the news or told in any history books. The first battle was with ourselves as we decided how to deal with our internal conflicts on a day-to-day basis. Should I choose what's right or should I choose what's wrong?

Unfortunately, the line between right and wrong isn't always cut and dried. The Kakos came from bad, the lowest of the low, and decided to try to go lower. They are direct descendants of Hades. Their blood is not watered down or tainted. They are literal spawns of Satan. They possess no soul and therefore feel no grief or regret for their actions. The Kakos' ultimate goal is to live forever on earth. They escaped from hell eons ago, tracked down and tricked a descendant of a Fate, who agreed to allot them more time.

They followed this pattern for centuries until finally, the idea came to them that if there were no Fates, there would be no more cutting of their threads, and they would be free to live on earth forever. They then set out to kill every descendant from Clotho, Atropos and Lachesis they could find until they got to my father, the last known Fate on earth. He had made a covenant with the Kakos and then had broken his promise. As a result, the Kakos had declared war on every last Greek descendant. The Greeks could side with the Kakos or they could die.

I was the only weapon the Greeks had, but what do I know about war? I'm a seventeen-year-old girl. I have not yet discerned the path my life will take... and I am supposed to go up against the devil's brood? If I fail, I die. Eventually the Kakos will come for Andy, Aggie and Ari and everyone I love. Andy will have to choose whether to side with the enemy and spare his family's life, or accept death. In my heart, I knew Andy would never back down and that his family would die a horrible death because of his decision.

If I hunted the Kakos down, then I would have blood on my hands. I would be a murderer, a sinner, and a criminal. I decided to refuse to murder anyone in cold blood. I saw myself as good and I did not want to tarnish my soul.

Ari had asked me how a person knows when the wrong thing to do is right. And I answered: "If I must do wrong to save someone I love, it is right. I will not murder anyone, Ari. . .but I will kill to save you." I will protect my people, but I will not go out in search of blood.

****

I spent New Year's Eve Day keeping Lauren company. She sulked around all day in p.j. shorts and a tank top. We cuddled on the couch and watched a movie marathon of all of her favorites, while eating handfuls of popcorn.

Around five, I peeled myself off the couch to start getting ready for the evening. Despite the fact that it was absolutely freezing outside for southern California, I put on a super-cute, short, flared dress and a pair of open toe wedges. It went great with my fitted, cropped biker jacket. I took my time doing my hair and makeup, knowing that as soon as we got to the show nobody would see me in the dark, the makeup would just smudge off and my hair would lose its luster, but I didn't care. This was the first time I had left the house in days and I was getting stir crazy.

Fully dressed and ready, I set out in search of Ari. The house was dark and strangely silent. Aggie and Andy had left for the evening and the sun had long since set. Walking past the large glass windows gave me an insuppressible chill. The wind howled, causing the trees to dance around outside and their shadows to create lifelike images on the walls.

I turned the corner and my heart stopped momentarily at the sight of him. Ari looked as handsome as ever and scooped me up in his arms for a kiss. I let out a shaky breath, feeling safe in his arms. We were interrupted as Rory and Julia walked in, clearing their throats.

"You have no idea how nice it has been to not have seen your face all week," Ari said.

"Yeah, right, whatever, you know you missed me," Rory said with a bright smile.

"I didn't. Did you, Ava?"

"Stop it, Ari." I hit him playfully on the chest and we all headed to Ari's car.

We went to dinner a few blocks away from the theater. Ari had wisely made reservations; the restaurant was crammed, but we were taken to our table right away. We walked from the restaurant to the theater to avoid the crush of cars seeking parking places. The streets were bursting with people out celebrating New Years. Once in the theater, we found our seats right away, incredible seats in the very first row. . . I could seriously lean my elbows on the stage. _Discovery_ opened up for _Ra Ra Riot_ , and then _Vampire Weekend_ came on and played nearly all of their songs. They ended with "Walcott," and the crowd went nuts.

Once the show was over, we struggled to get through the swarms of people. When we finally broke free and were outside, we found that rain was pouring down and the temperature must have dropped another fifteen degrees. I shoved my hands in my pockets in an attempt to keep warm. Ari told us to wait and he would hurry to the car and pick us up. We agreed and hung back under the awning of the brick building. People began to get really rowdy and soon after Ari left, a fight broke out between two burly men in front of me. One of the guys shoved the other one back, sending him flying into me. My body slammed back against the wall and my head hit the bricks, bouncing on them several times before my eyes finally rolled to the back of my head.

Images immediately started filling up my mind. I saw myself covered in mud, soaked with rain. I saw the woods and I felt the absolute fear that rushed through my bones. Then I saw an image I had never seen yet before, the source of the screaming. The sound came from a girl tied to a tree. She was bloody and beaten. It was Lauren.

My eyes shot open. Rory was hovered over me with a worried look on his face.

"They have her!" I screamed.

"Who? Are you ok? What are you talking about?"

"Lauren! We have to go." I knew from my visions of my mother's and Mia's death that this was very real and if we didn't get to Lauren quickly, she would be dead. I swore that this time I would stop the death of someone I loved.

"They took her, Rory; they have her in the woods, behind the house, where we run. We have to go now. Julia, wait for Ari, and tell him to go straight back to the house. Tell him that The Kakos have Lauren."

Julia nodded her head while tears streamed down her face. I threw my shoes off, knowing I couldn't move nearly as fast with them on, and I took off running down the crowded street, barefoot in the cold rain with Rory closing in behind me.

As soon as we hit the woods, we split up. I closed my eyes, trying to bring my vision of Lauren back to life. At the same moment, I heard the screams. I ran up the hills, pushing myself harder and faster than ever before, I slipped continually on muddy, slick rocks. The bottoms of my feet and the palms of my hands were covered in scrapes and deep cuts. I stopped for a moment to wipe the rain out of my eyes and I heard a small scared whimper. I followed the noise blindly through the rain; it was so dark that I nearly crashed right into her.

"Lauren," I whispered, "oh, my gosh, Lauren, are you ok?" She was shaking and her body was a frozen blue all over. She was still wearing her tank top and p.j. shorts.

"No, Ava! You have to go," she cried, "it's a trap, it's you they want." As I worked on getting the ropes off, she told me that two of The Kakos came into the house looking for me and she lied and told them that she didn't know where I was. They took her for bait, knowing that eventually I would come for her. They were right, I had come. . . and I would always come.

"Where are they now?" I asked, taking a moment to look around at my surroundings.

"They have a gun, Ava," her voice trembled with fright. "One of them dropped it in the mud and they're looking for it."

I peeled my jacket off and put it on her frozen body just in time to hear the men coming for us.

"Lauren, you have to run. Rory is out there somewhere; he'll find you. Don't make any noise and run as fast as you can. Whatever you do; do not turn around and do not come back. Find Rory and run home. Do you understand me?"

Fresh tears sprang from Lauren's eyes and she hesitated for a moment. I could hear footsteps coming up fast from behind me. Lauren paled and sucked in a breath. I could feel the fear rolling off her in waves. That's when I heard the shot ring out; I didn't realize what the noise was until I felt a ripping, searing pain in my arm. Lauren screamed and her eyes grew as she stared at my shoulder. I'd been shot.

"Lauren, run now!"

She did as I said and I hoped like hell that she would not turn back. The men came up to me quickly. I tried to ready myself but it was too late. The first one had me by my hair. He had his knee shoved painfully into my back. I tried to free myself but it was useless. I could feel the blood oozing freely from my body. I was weak and growing weaker by the minute.

"Hello, Beautiful Fate," the one holding me whispered in my ear.

"What do you want from me?" I spat.

"Shhh... I don't really want anything from you; all I want is for you to die. That's it." He pulled me tighter to his body and his grip tightened like a snake. He ran his dirty finger down my cheek and I spit in his eye. This made him jump back a little giving me a small second to push myself away from him. No. 2 jumped in and grabbed me.

"Just shoot her again and get it over with. The sooner she is gone the better for all of us."

I heard a loud shot ring out from a revolver, my body let go, and I was surrounded in darkness.

### Chapter 15

### Murderer

"Ava, don't let go...Ava."

The voice was coming from inside my head; I desperately searched my mind for its owner. It was a voice I could not place, one that I had not heard before. I could tell I was fading, but I did not think I was gone yet.

"Who are you?" I asked as a beautiful face appeared, smiling at me and watching me with bright green eyes. "Dad?"

"Yeah, Ava Baby, it's me."

"Am I dead?"

"No, Ava," he answered, "you aren't dead, but you have to hang on; you have to wake up."

"I can't, I don't know how. How are you here?"

"I am not really here, Ava. I am only in your mind."

I blinked my eyes as my surroundings came into focus. I was lying in a bed in a dimly lit hospital room. I could hear the beeping of monitors. I could see the clock on the wall counting down the minutes until my death. My father stood there holding a pair of very sharp scissors.

"They vowed on my death bed that they would not rest until you were dead too, but they don't have any idea how much stronger you are than they are and how much stronger you are than I am. When I lay dying, I had one last vision of the future – this one. Ava, I can control your fate only until I fade out, then the rest is up to you."

My dad took my thread of life and he pulled as he spoke. I watched the minutes turn. He was buying me time but I could tell he didn't have the strength to do much more than that.

"I will not allow you to die on my watch, but I cannot hold on much longer. I want you to know I am so sorry for the choices I made. I love you, Ava. Please, I beg of you, please forgive me and please wake up."

My father's face faded into nothingness before I could tell him I loved him too and my eyes shot open; they were sticky with fresh tears. I once again found myself shrouded in night, but the darkness was different this time, more tangible. The smell of plastic filled my nose with each breath I took. The surface I was lying on was rocking briskly. I moved my right arm and stretched it out in front of me, touching the blackness that engulfed me.

Oh, my God I am in a garbage bag.

I swallowed the panic that began to build inside me. I bit down hard on my cheek to keep from screaming out in fear. I could hear the crashing of waves around me. They think I am dead and they're going to dump me at sea. I stuck my finger through my pliable casket and began to rip my way out of the bag. I could see their feet. We were on a boat and both of them were facing away from me. They seemed to be looking at and arguing about the motor. I looked around, squinting in the dark to get my bearings. I could not believe my luck when I spied a gun lying on the ground near me. This was my chance and I had to take it; I knew there would not be a second one.

Taking hold of the gun in my right hand, with all of my strength, I climbed to my feet. I took shaky aim at the back of No.1's head and with my trembling finger pulled the trigger. The noise from the gun was ear shattering. I flinched as the man went down instantaneously. I held back my queasy stomach as parts of No. 1's head splattered my face and hair.

No. 2 twisted around and saw me standing there, like a ghost that had come back to life. He sprang forward and tried to grab the gun but I kicked him back. He charged at me again and this time he took me down with him. I landed with him on top of me on the hard surface of the boat's deck. Our fall caused the gun to drop with a plunk into the ocean. No. 2 leapt to his feet and kicked me square in the ribs. I heard them crunch and my eyes watered with the pain. He lifted me partially up, and dragged my body back to the front of the boat while I kicked and screamed for dear life. Walking backwards and hauling my unwilling body, he lost his footing. The momentary pause in the action gave me a chance to right myself. I lunged at him with all my might and was able to knock the wind out of him.

He grabbed the hawser and looped it around my neck. I could feel his hot breath against my ear as he attempted to tighten the noose. I threw my head back and hit his own as hard as humanly possible. I heard and felt the crack of his nose against the back of my already tender skull. My eyesight went fuzzy from the impact and I worked even faster, afraid of losing consciousness. My fingers were shaking; I grabbed at the rope and pulled it away from my throat, slipping it around No. 2's neck instead. I kicked him away and his feet caught in my discarded garbage bag. He yelled as he fell backwards over the rail.

My palms burned as I held on to the rope until the struggling at the other end came to a sudden stop. That was it; he was dead.

I had shot and strangled two men. Their blood was on my hands. I felt myself shaking as I fought my way off the boat and onto the dock. I pushed myself through the sand, up towards the homes in the distance. I was fading fast; blood was still seeping from my shoulder and the pain was nearly unbearable. The familiar twinkling lights on Ari's deck were a beacon calling me home. I fell down in the sand every few steps, my arm and side screaming out in pain. My head was woozy, and I was beyond weak, but somehow I kept pushing myself forward. I crawled my way up the back steps and onto the deck. I was tired, soaking wet and covered in mud. My eyes were filling up quickly with black spots. I peeled my right hand off the gunshot wounds on my left shoulder. My hand was covered in my own dark red blood. I pressed it against the sliding glass door, right before my legs gave out, and I was once again lost in complete darkness.

### Part 2

### Chapter 16

### I lied.

My eyes opened to bright blinding lights. My right hand was tucked firmly inside someone else's. Forcing my eyes to adjust to the brightness, I slowly focused in on . . ."Margaux?" I croaked. "Margaux, what are you doing here?"

She gave a frilly, fake laugh.

"Why wouldn't I be here, Ava? It's not every day that my only granddaughter gets shot twice and lives to tell about it."

My hand quickly pulled out of hers and flew up to my gunshot wounds. My shoulder was covered in thick gauze and pain immediately filled my body, followed by a flood of all the memories that came with it.

"Where is Lauren?" I started to panic, "Is she ok?"

Margaux, looking less than concerned, peered down at her fingernails. "Yes, I think she is fine. . .just a few cuts. They released her the same evening."

"Where is Ari?"

"That boy, along with the rest of the Alexanders, is in the waiting room. The hospital has you under strict surveillance; you aren't to speak to anyone until the police arrive. Ava, let's cut to the chase. You can't fool me. I know what you are and let's just say that those two men were just the beginning. They aren't going to stop until they get you. You should have been able to see this coming a long time ago. . . and you probably would have, if you hadn't been so busy screwing that Alexander boy."

My mouth hung open in shock, "Margaux, I..."

She held her hand up to stop me.

"I don't want to hear the dirty details, Ava. The truth is that you are lucky to be alive and you are lucky that young girl is alive. Those men know where you are and they will pick that family off one at a time if that's what it takes to get to you. If you have any heart at all, you will leave and finish this on your own. Andrew should have known better than to let you in to his family's lives. You aren't good enough for them."

Ouch.

"Since I am still your legal guardian, I have arranged a place for you to stay in London. I own some property there and I have a flat that is currently vacant. You will finish school in London at Wheatin Prep. Unfortunately, I don't think it is safe for you to attend class there, so I am working some things out with a private professor. As soon as the doctor releases you, we will be leaving. Your belongings at the DPI dorm will be packed up and placed in storage."

I stared at her in disbelief. "You knew what I am and you never said anything?"

"Ava, it was not my place, simply put."

My soul felt as though it was being hollowed out, I was empty inside; I had to leave Ari. Margaux may have been a cold and ruthless monster, but she was right. The Kakos would kill him if that is what it would take to get to me. I had no choice. A tear slipped down my cheek.

"If you weren't recovering from two gunshot wounds, I would smack you," Margaux spat at my slight show of emotional distress. "It's time for you to grow up; this is bigger than some silly boyfriend, Ava. It is time you realized the severity of the situation and start to figure out some kind of resolution. Turn your feelings off and focus." Her fingers snapped loudly, inches away from my face.

I nodded my head in agreement and wiped my own tear. "When will I be okay to travel?"

"You will have a day or two to recuperate here. I'll let the nurse know that you are awake and able to speak with a detective. As soon as you get your release, we will be on the next flight out of town. Now, I have to leave. You will need a physical therapist in London and I have to get on the phone with the school to ensure you graduate this spring."

She took a step towards the door then turned back to face me.

"When the police come, do be vague, dear; you don't want to have yourself committed. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." I answered in a pathetically small voice.

Margaux left and I allowed myself a moment to cry. I thought about Ari. I didn't want to leave him. He had made me happier than I had ever been. I loved him, but I would do anything to save his life.

As soon as the doctor came in, I wiped my tears away and shoved my emotions into the recesses of my mind. He gave me a breakdown of the injuries I had sustained. I had several cracked ribs and I had been shot twice in the left shoulder. I had required surgery and both of the bullets had been successfully removed. He told me that it was a miracle that I had survived the first shot at all as it was particularly close to my chest

"I'm sorry to say that it took the paramedics fifteen minutes to arrive at the Alexander's home. If it hadn't been for their boy performing CPR, we would not be having this conversation."

Thinking back to my last conscious moment – seeing my blood-stained handprint on the Alexander's glass door, gave me a rush of cold shivers that tingled along my spine.

"Detective Scott is outside and waiting to speak with you, Miss. Baio. Is it okay to send him in?"

I nodded.

Detective Scott entered right after my doctor left. He was all business, dressed in a very nice suit, black hair slicked back without a single stray strand on his head. I knew immediately that I had seen him before; he had been at the restaurant Providence the night I first arrived in California. He was a friend of Margaux and knew I was Adrian's daughter. Detective Scott introduced himself and began right away with some questions. They were all basic, my-side-of-the story type stuff. When he got near the end of his questioning, he paused for a moment.

"There is just one thing I don't really understand, Miss Baio. How did you know where to find Lauren, if you were at a concert at the time of her kidnapping?"

"Uh," I stalled, "I don't actually know the answer to that. I hit my head really hard at the show and I don't remember much of the night. I guess maybe she sent me a text or something." My excuse sounded lame even to me and I swallowed hard.

"Hmm," he said, looking at me intently. Then he handed me his business card with his private number circled in ink.

"If you have anything more you would like to tell me, call me at once."

Fat chance, buddy.

I agreed to do so as I watched him walk away.

Ari came in a few minutes after Detective Scott left. He looked exhausted and as if he were in a pit of utter despair. He placed his hand on my cheek and I looked into his deep dark eyes, forcing my mind to remember every single detail. The little crease in his forehead when he was thinking or concerned, his soft, full, pink lips that made my skin tingle whenever he kissed me and the clear dark brown eyes I knew so well, and the way his long fingers felt like feathers across my skin.

"Ava," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm ok, Ari," I said as I lifted my good arm up and placed my hand against his scruffy cheek. I was craving one last touch. He closed his eyes and moved my palm to his lips, filling it with kisses. Butterflies fluttered. . .and I killed them with one deep breath. I blinked away my love and turned my heart to stone. I took my hand out of his. I was about to hurt the people I loved the most.

"Ari, I'm leaving," I said curtly. "I can't allow something like this to happen again. Lauren could have been killed, and if I stick around, they will just try again – and I am sure they will succeed next time. I can't put our relationship in front of the lives of your family."

Shock washed over him. "What does that mean?"

"I can't be with you anymore."

"You can't, or you don't want to?"

I closed my eyes and suppressed the evil bile that was rising up in my throat.

"I don't want to," I lied.

He let out a long breath before speaking, his hands were shaky and his voice was in a panic. "We will get through this, Ava. I love you. You can't walk away from me now, not ever. I won't let you."

"You don't have a choice, Ari. I've made up my mind. It's too late."

"I don't believe you. How can you sit here and lie to me like this? Say it, say you are lying, just please tell me you're lying."

I shook my head no, I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes.

"Don't ever lie to me, Ava! Stop it now!"

"I'm not lying." My face was stone. My emotions were kept so tightly in check that I could hardly breathe.

"Tell me you don't love me."

"I don't love you." I lied.

"You are a liar."

"No. I am not a liar, Ari. I never loved you." I lied again and again.

Ari stood by my bed for a few minutes, hell, maybe a few hours, I don't know. I was absolutely numb to everything. My mind had shut down and I was just a shell of person. I was not at all prepared for the pain that this giant hole in my heart was causing.

Ari put my hand back in his before he left, and brought my fingers up against his soft lips. "I know when I am being lied to. Just promise me this one thing; that when it's time for you to come home, you will come home to me and you will tell me the truth." I looked up at him and stared blankly in to his eyes. He dropped my hand and left.

I don't know what Ari told his family, but to my surprise they each came in to see me. Lauren cried and begged me to stay and though my heart broke again, I pushed back tears and remained firm and distant. Rory came in hand in hand with Julia and I felt a small hint of a smile play on my face. I was glad to see that things were starting to work out for him. He said very little to me; I had hurt not just Ari, but all of them with my decision to leave. I prayed and hoped that they could see my decision was for the best. Margaux was right; they were better off without me.

Andy came in with Aggie. She looked tired and sick. I am sure she was distraught by what had happened with Lauren and her obvious anguish made me feel even more sure that I was making the right move.

"You don't have to do this, Ava." Her tone was severe; she was angry with me.

"You belong with us. We have waited seventeen years for you to come home; we are your family, damn it."

"No, you aren't my family, Aggie." I closed my eyes to push back the hot tears I could feel forming behind my eyelids. I turned away from her. She stood there for a moment speechless and then sobbed into Andy's silent arms and they left the room.

The nurse followed in after they left and checked my blood pressure.

"I don't want any more visitors coming into this room, do you understand?" My tone was neither kind nor warm.

"Ok, I'll make sure of it. What about your guardian?"

"Do I have a choice?" I snapped.

"No ma'am, I'm sorry you don't."

"Then why the hell did you even bother asking me?"

"You're right, I apologize."

I gave her a bone-chilling stare and watched as the goose bumps rose on her arms and up the back of her neck. I felt a strange rush of power and an unbelievable amount of control. I sat up a little straighter and clenched my jaw. The nurse tore the Velcro from the blood pressure cuff off my arm and rushed out of the room as if her life depended on it. A big NO VISITORS sign was hung on my door, but that nurse didn't return to my room for the rest of my stay.

### Chapter 17

### Hate

The flight was absolutely miserable. I refused the painkillers the doctor prescribed for my shoulder because I despise the way they make me feel as though I have no control over my mind or my body. The pain in my shoulder was nothing compared to the one in my soul. A heavy ache radiated from my chest up through my limbs and into my mind. Every time I closed my eyes, Ari was there and the hurt started over, and each time the hurt was worse than the time before last.

We had a layover in Chicago and being in the city that had so recently been my home made everything worse. Thoughts of Mia and my mother flooded my mind. Then Margaux dragged me through the airport to the very same coffee shop Ari and I had been to just a few months earlier, and the ache in my heart doubled.

Spending a total of twelve hours with Margaux doing anything would have been torture, but this trip away from Dana Point was inhumane and excruciatingly painful. I got the distinct impression that my grandmother felt the same way. At least she had had the decency to put us in first class so I was not physically uncomfortable. . .and was able to maintain a modicum of distance from her. The flight attendant caught on pretty quickly that Margaux and I were not going to be a pleasure to deal with and ignored us most of the time, which was fine by me.

"Did you know that the Alexanders had been looking for me?"

Margaux sighed with obvious irritation.

"You really want to do this now?"

"Tell me."

"Yes, I knew."

"Why didn't you tell them I was your granddaughter?"

"What would they have done with that information, Ava? You were a child and you were living with your mother, where you belonged. They are great people and you aren't good for them. You aren't good for anybody."

"Who are my mother's birth parents?"

Margaux choked on her gin and tonic and dabbed her lips with a cheap airplane napkin. "What would possess you to ask that question?"

"She was like me, wasn't she? She was like me and my father, but you never told her."

"Fine, Ava, you're right. Lucy's birth mother was a very dear friend of mine and, yes, they were like you. Fates. Lucy was of Clotho. Her mother was afraid that she would be hunted down and killed so I promised I would take her in and protect her and I did until she met your father and he ruined her life."

"Did her mother have any more children?"

Margaux rubbed her temples in annoyance but I could care less how she felt at the moment. I had questions and if I needed to, I would happily beat the answers out of her.

"She did have one more daughter. She couldn't bear to give up another child so she kept her, and they went in to hiding. I heard her daughter was killed last year, shot by one of the men you killed six days ago."

"Did her daughter have any children?"

"I wouldn't know, Ava; my friend quit speaking to me once you were born."

" _Who_ are you?"

Margaux looked at me with icy black eyes. "Shut up, Ava," was all she said.

I had the feeling that if I didn't stop questioning her I might not live long enough to see London. I kept quiet for the rest of that agonizing flight.

We arrived at Heathrow in the middle of the night. Margaux had arranged for a car, two cars actually. She handed me an envelope and said that the keys to the flat were in it along with the address. The driver knew where the flat was and he would make sure that I got there safely. She announced that she would be staying at The Dorchester for a few days to get some work done at her London shop and then would be flying back to L.A. She also told me that my physical therapist would be at the flat at seven in the morning and my tutor would be starting Monday at nine a.m. She then shut the door and tapped on the roof. The driver sped off.

My flat was located in Camden Town, and even though we arrived there in the middle of the night, the streets seemed busy. I saw a lot of leather jackets, tattoos and interesting hairstyles. The driver pulled up to a brick building on a corner. He carried my luggage to the vestibule, put it on the lift, tipped his hat and left. The building appeared to be ancient and abandoned. A few windows were broken and partially boarded over. Graffiti had been spray painted on the elevator doors. Clearly, I was the only tenant. My flat was on the third floor. I cursed the driver for not seeing my luggage all the way in, but I managed the job with just one good arm anyway.

I was relieved when I got inside my actual space. It was much nicer than the building had led me to believe. The flat was open and airy. On the left, the living room had what appeared to be a working stone fireplace in decent condition; next to that was a big oval window that looked down over the street below; a window seat had been built into the bottom sill and a quick sit down proved the cushion fluffy and comfortable. To the right, the living room opened up into a decent size kitchen. Straight ahead, a short hall led to two bedrooms and a bath.

I walked straight back to the far bedroom, wrapped myself in a blanket and for the first time since I had found Lauren in the forest, let go and sobbed uncontrollably. My body shook violently as my tears flowed, causing pain to radiate through my ribs and shoulder. My heart hurt and I was consumed with anger and bitterness. I hated myself for having lied to Ari and for having left Dana Point. I wanted to throw things and break stuff. I wanted to scream, hit, and kick. I was bursting with rage and I was too tired to sleep. I lay there for hours in a strange city, in a strange flat, on a strange bed wrapped in someone else's blanket, and soaked myself with my own tears. I waited for daylight.

My sobs and cries were interrupted when Nora, the physical therapist, arrived at seven a.m., just as Margaux had said she would. She was dressed in workout clothes and had her hair pulled back in a low ponytail. She had a nice smile and a very pretty face. Her accent was classically British and she was very definitely in a talking mood.

Despite my somewhat surly attitude, Nora remained professional. She kept up a light conversation and didn't ask about my injuries. She was scheduled to work with me for an hour each day, and left promptly at eight a.m. I hadn't been friendly, but I was sorry to see her go. Her departure left me with twenty-three more empty hours to fill.

My therapy hurt like hell. I painfully made my way back to the back bedroom. I wrapped myself back up in the blanket and, since I was already in pain, I allowed myself to think of Ari and wallow in self-pity.

At some point, sleep came and I found myself in the hall with my scissors. I did what I had to do. I showed no mercy, as there was no longer any kindness in my heart. I then escaped into a new nightmare that featured the deaths of everyone I loved. I awoke sometime in the late afternoon.

Margaux had had the kitchen stocked before I arrived. I made a kettle of tea and some toast then sat in the window seat, where I stayed until Nora found me the next day. We went through the workout together and when she left, I fell asleep. Once again, I walked the halls playing catch up for all of the weeks that I had missed when I had found solitude with Ari.

Ari. Ari. Ari. I missed him so much.

I was alone all weekend. I spent most of my time either in bed or in my window seat, staring out into the depressing, gray London sky. Hate and anger were constant emotions. My grandfather and mother had been taken from me. Then I had lost Mia. And now, Ari and Rory, Aggie, Lauren, Andy, all of the people I loved, had been ripped from my grasp.

On Monday, my tutor, James, arrived an hour after Nora had gone. I was already miserable from the workout and was in no mood to deal with this ostentatious twit. He was a complete jerk and a total idiot. It became perfectly clear to me that I was much smarter than he would ever be. He began lecturing about a book that I had already read and knew well. I asked him a simple question, testing his knowledge. James fumbled for a moment then made up an answer that I recognized as false. At the end of the hour, I saw him to the door and told him that his services would no longer be needed.

I sent a text to Margaux: "I have fired James. Send a replacement tomorrow or I am leaving."

The next day a new jerk, this one named Thomas, showed up at my door. He lasted only twenty minutes. I punched him square in the chin after he ran his fingers through my hair and whispered something creepy in my ear. I sent Margaux another text: "Another loser. I am packing my bags if you have not found someone suitable tomorrow by nine." These were empty threats of course; I had nowhere else to go.

After grabbing some ice for my knuckles, I went back to bed. I took a fist full of my hair and pulled hard, needing a pain I could control. I shoved my face into my pillow and screamed long after my voice ran out and my throat went raw. I stayed like that for hours as the rage inside me grew and grew. I hated that I was here. I hated that I had killed two people and that they had tried to kill me. I hated the fact that my heart hurt and that the only person who could make me feel better was one I had had to abandon.

When Nora arrived, I could tell that she was growing increasingly uncomfortable around me. Her fight or flight instincts were kicking in and she was a flight type person. We went through my stretches and small shoulder workouts in near silence. I noticed she shivered whenever she had to come close to me, and I saw the goose bumps on her arm.

As she started to pack up for the day, I had the feeling that I may not ever see her again. "Um, Nora," I said softly, "I know that I may come off as a scary person, but if you give me a little bit of time, I think you will find that I am actually really nice."

She smiled at me and nodded. "Sure, Ava. Sorry I am little distracted today, that's all. It looks like your wound needs to be cleaned. . . and that bandage should be changed. Would you like me to help you?"

Nora was ignoring her impulse to run from danger. I will never understand how some people are capable of putting their fears aside – out of kindness I suppose. She was afraid to hurt my feelings or challenge my pride. I let out a breath of relief and graciously accepted her help.

Nora slowly peeled the old wrappings off my shoulder. She sucked in a breath when she saw my wounds, knowing straight away that I had been shot. She never asked for the story or the gory details as most people would, and I respected her for that.

By the time Nora left, I was exhausted; I had not slept in over twenty-four hours. I was perched up in my giant oval window when, at nine o'clock, I heard a knock at my door.

"It's open," I replied in a very hoarse voice. I heard the door creak open but didn't bother to turn around to take a look.

"Uh, Hello?" I heard a guy with a French accent say. "I'm August Jolie, your in-home professor. You must be... Avie?"

I turned around to face him for the first time. He was tall, skinny, but still muscular, with short-cropped blonde hair (aside from one thick, jagged chunk that ran down the middle of his head and flopped down into his eyes. A bright green streak ran through the middle of it.) He had on black skinny jeans, a gray zip-up hooded sweatshirt and black lace-up boots.

"Listen," I snapped. "My name is Ava, not Avie, not Baby, and not any other stupid pet name you may feel inclined to give me. You are here for academic purposes only. You will not touch me or ask me anything personal. If at any point I feel that you cannot provide the type of education I require, then you will be let go with no explanation. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, sure, Ava, whatever," he said with a snotty _tsk_ as he brushed his hair from his eye with a pinkie finger.

I motioned for him to come in and he closed the door behind him. Painfully, I made my way to the couch and took a seat. August took a seat in the chair across from me and brushed the green strand of hair once more out of his eyes. He opened up a messenger bag and began to pull out book after book.

"So this is how this is going to work," August started. "I will meet you here five days a week from nine until two. You will have assigned readings," he pointed to the stack of books, "and each afternoon we will discuss your findings. Thursdays, I have set aside for offsite class where we will be attending various museums and interesting architectural structures in the city. I expect to have all discussions on Thursdays _en Français_. You will be tested each Friday. Your exams will also be _en Français_ and I expect your answers to be as well. Is that clear?"

I noted a slight bit of attitude as he framed his expectation that my work be done in French – we were, after all, in England – and an infinitesimal smirk came to my face. I nodded, confirming that I had understood what he expected of me.

" _Splendide_ ," he said as he clapped his hands and rubbed them together. He handed me a book. . .well, he tried to hand me a book but I refused to extend my hand so after a slight hesitation, he ended up placing it next to me on the couch. He then began a lecture about the Thirty Years War.

The lecture went on for an hour and during that time; August never consulted a book or notes. He recited names and dates as if he had been present for the war himself. At one point, he got up and, still talking, put on the tea. When he finished for the day, August assigned my reading – the first four chapters of each book he had brought over – then stood up and, at exactly 2 p.m., opened the front door and left for the day.

I spent my evening reading and was I thankful for the work; it took my mind off the heartache. Eventually, I made my way under my blankets. That night, I dreamed of Ari. We were caught in an embrace and he twirled a strand of my hair around his fingers. When I woke, my cheeks were wet and my eyes were swollen.

Nora came in at her appointed time. We did a quick workout for my shoulder. The exercises still hurt like hell, and I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears away. My shoulder started to bleed and ooze but Nora assured me that I would start to see improvement in the next couple of weeks. I tried to swallow my angst and put on a nice face.

"Ava, I don't want to offend you, but the workouts would be easier if you took your medication," Nora said with concern in her voice.

The doctors had given me a script for painkillers and anti-anxiety medicine before I left the hospital, but I had taken the scribbled note Dr. Phillips handed me, crumpled it up, and thrown it in the garbage can. He saw no humor in my actions whatsoever, wrote out another one, and gave it to Margaux, then left without another word.

"You are probably right, Nora, but pain is something I can deal with; it is the only thing that is real. Pain is a comfort to me right now."

She quickly changed the subject and started to open up about herself. She told me about her boyfriend, her family and how she was thinking about training for a marathon but did not know how to get started.

"Well, I can help you if you'd like," I said. "I mean, when I can get back out there that is. I run...quite a bit actually. I have done the Chicago Marathon a few times and I used to train with...well with a friend back home."

"Really?!" Nora asked excitedly. "I mean, that would be super."

"Yeah sure, as long as you can get my shoulder to work again, I'd be happy to have someone to run with."

When she left, I felt a little bit better so I began to pick up the flat. I washed a week's work of coffee cups that were in the sink and picked up all of my stray belongings that I had strewn about the floors and furniture. I took the first shower since I had left the hospital and put on the first fresh pair of clothes.

Ari had actually packed my belongings for me, and that thought alone made me sad. In the corner of my suitcase, folded up under a stack of my jeans, was a gray hooded sweatshirt. It was his. He knew I loved it since I was always grabbing it out of his closet to lounge in; I pulled it out and held it to me. Breathing him in, it was the single most delightful thing I had done since the last time we kissed. I hugged the sweatshirt to me and then got up and shoved it into the closet. I could not allow myself to be weak any longer. I went back to my luggage and opted for a pair of jeans and a loose fitting sweater that wouldn't hurt to put on over my arm. As soon as I was dressed and ready, the only thing I felt like doing was crawling back in bed. I didn't want to face the day. I took to my perch in my window with a cup of plantation mint tea and began to close my eyes.

Shortly after, I heard the door creak open, I turned and August came into the entryway. I rolled my eyes at him and then turned back around and continued gazing, half-asleep, out the window.

" _Salut Ava, C'est aujourd'hui le jeudi et il faut parler en francais."_

I turned back to him, giving him my best 'I hate you face' and I put my pointer finger up to my eye.

" _Mon oeil,"_ I said in a nasty tone.

August apparently thought I was being facetious and threw his head back and laughed. I moved over to my spot on the couch and August began asking me questions in French about what I had read the night before; I grudgingly answered him with the shortest replies I could muster. He didn't give up and continued down his list. Once we finally wrapped that up, he stood up and announced that we would be going to see Damien Hirst's work at the Saatchi Gallery.

The trip was my first time to leave the flat since I had arrived. London was cold and the sun was nowhere in sight. I am sure, under different circumstances, I would have enjoyed being here and would have been more receptive, but the fact that the whole look, feel and smell of the city were the very opposite of what I had experienced in California only made me even more homesick.

We walked around and viewed several pieces of art that included dead animals in formaldehyde. The sight of the animals suspended sideways or upside down in various containers, with open but unseeing dead eyes staring at nothing was weird but morbidly interesting. I didn't admit to August, though, that discussing art with him was almost fun.

I had learned during the course of the week that, despite August's somewhat punk-rock look, he was pretty intelligent. On our walk through the gallery, he told me, _en francais bien sur,_ that he had been traveling all across the world with his parents since he was little. They were both bioengineers and their work took them to all the corners of the globe. On his own for the first time, August had recently moved to London, but as I could already tell, he was originally from Paris.

He was a Parisian through and through. He spoke fast and with flare. He was arrogant and a bit supercilious. August could speak six languages more or less fluently, and even though he didn't tell me so, I was fairly confident that he had a photographic memory. He clearly had a daring personality and my nasty and abrasive attitude had not daunted him a bit. I think, rather, that he viewed me as a challenge, something like an engaging science experiment.

As the weeks began to pass, I fell into a routine. I sobbed and cried each night and woke up to blood-shot, puffy, red eyes. My diet consisted of dry toast and tea. My days were filled with arguments with August; he was unrelenting with his stupid homework. All I needed to do was graduate. That was it. Margaux had sent August a copy of my school transcripts. He took one look at my marks and decided to take it upon himself to see me graduate at the top of my class.

Nora kept to our schedule, and my shoulder started to heal, just as she had promised. We began to run outside, despite the cold, and I started to get her ready for the Virgin London Marathon slated for the coming spring. I had not talked to Ari since that dark day in the hospital. Occasionally, I got a text or two from Emily, but that was all. She told me Ari had moved out of the dorms, back home, and that he refused to talk about me to anyone. I didn't know how to interpret this news, but I knew how it made me feel, and I sat and cried in my little window seat.

I slept as little as humanly possible, not to avoid my nightmares, but because my bed was cold and lonely. Ari and I had had a hard time staying away from each other from the very beginning of our relationship. In London, during my first night away from California, and Ari, I proved to myself that I am pathetic and weak. I couldn't even find comfort in the fact that we were sleeping under the same sky. My nights were his days. If I looked at the moon, there was no hope that he was looking at it too. I woke up most nights to my arms and legs rooting through the sheets looking for him. It was beyond depressing.

Despite our constant bickering, August was actually beginning to grow on me. He had a very dry sense of humor and we both shared the same view – that sarcasm should be treated as an art form. I began to warm up to him slightly and in return, he started to lighten up around me, pushing our friendship a little bit further each day. I think that maybe he had planned to do so all along.

Valentine's Day approached. I sent texts to Nora and August, letting them know that I was not feeling well and they should just take a day off. Nora texted me back right away, wishing me well, and August texted back 'eye roll' for his only response.

I am not a Valentine's Day type of person by any means. I have never been a romantic at heart, but the weight of missing Ari was bearing down on me so hard that I felt like my chest might cave. Thirty-nine days had passed since Ari and I had last spoken, and I was thinking any semblance of composure I might have was about to crack. . .

I spent the entire day in bed, wrapped up in my blankets, fighting off tears. Finally, around midnight, I broke down and called Rory.

"Ava! What's up, Baby? I miss you," he said, picking up after the first ring.

"Hi, Rory," I said sheepishly. "I was just calling to see how things are."

"Yeah, things are ok... you know same ol' stuff."

"So..." I continued. "How are things with Julia?"

"Really good, actually taking her out tonight for Valentine's Day, and by the way Happy Valentine's Day to you!"

"Yeah, sure, so how is Lauren; is she ok?"

"Lauren is fine, Ava. She misses you; we all miss you. Ari misses you. He is a mess, Ava; you should be calling him right now, not me."

"I can't, Roar." _Great, now I am crying._ "Listen I need to get going, I hope you have a nice time tonight and um... please don't tell him I called."

"You know I can't do that Ava Baby; he's worried about you. I can't keep something like this from him; he'd kill me."

I hung up; I couldn't hear any more. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands and stared down at my phone. After an hour of looking at the little black screen, I opened a text box. My fingers were shaking. I typed in "X" and then quickly hit "send" to Ari's number before I could talk myself out of it. No less than a second later, I got a text back and all it said was "O."

Hugging my phone to me like a security blanket, I sobbed the rest of the night.

By the time August arrived in the morning, I was not in a very pleasant mood. We sat on the couch side by side and stared defiantly at each other for a good fifteen minutes. Then August pulled up his shirtsleeve, unintentionally revealing an arm full of tattoos.

I jumped up out of my seat and grabbed his arm.

"What the hell, Ava," he snapped. "Back off."

Ignoring his request, I grabbed his other arm, and pulled the sleeve up, uncovering another arm full of beautifully done tattoos.

"Who did these tattoos for you?" I demanded.

"Well..." he began to answer, "I have had them done by different artists all over the place, but most recently I have been going to this guy Jake, just up the street from here."

"Will you take me there?" I asked in a more friendly tone.

"What the hell for, Ava?"

"For those," I said as I pointed to his arm. "I want those."

"No way. You're only seventeen. If your grandmother found out, I would be fired in no time."

I shook my head and gave him a very slow, determined smile.

"If you don't take me there now, I will see that you are fired in no time."

"Fine," he grumbled, pulling his shirtsleeves back down, "You are something of a psycho, you know that?"

I ignored his comment, grabbed a handful of cash and followed August out the door. We walked in silence to Jake's place. It was an old building; and the exterior was covered in chipped black paint. We entered through a back door and went down a flight of steps into a basement. Jake was working on a guy's shoulder when we walked in, from the looks of it, he was finishing a skull with snakes coming out of the eye sockets.

Jake stood up and stretched. "Alright, Auggie? You 'ere for more work? Don't really have a lot a room lef, do ya?"

August rubbed the back of his head.

"Actually Jake, this is Ava. I guess she wants something done."

Jake looked me up and down and chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"Right, Ava, take a seat; I'll be wit'chew in a bit."

We sat down on an old couch in an adjoining room. On a table by the couch I found some paper, a pencil and some design books. I drew out what I wanted and then patiently waited. I found myself in good spirits and didn't feel even the least bit nervous. August began to calm down and told me he forgave me for being so hardheaded. He perfected my sketch, making it look just how I had pictured it in my mind, and then he helped me with the best placement and coloring.

When the skull guy was gone, Jake came in and pointed at me. "Listen" he said, "I know you ain't eighteen, but Auggie 'ere's a good chap, so I'll do it for 'im. If you rat me out, your ass is mine." Jake's last sentence came through loud and clear.

"You don't have to worry about me," I shrugged.

"'Right din."

Several hours later, I had a flock of birds taking flight up my right arm. They varied in size and their wings were positioned in different stages of flying. Four stood out among the large flock. They were especially beautiful and they symbolized Perry, my mother, my father and Mia. The tattoo was my way of finally letting them go while keeping them with me at the same time.

On my left wrist, I had Jake put two, two-inch black tally marks. They symbolized the lives I had taken so far from the Kakos -- No. 1 and No. 2. I made sure that Jake left enough room on my wrist to add marks for the rest of the family that I hoped I would eventually defeat. I paid Jake and gave him a generous tip, hoping to ensure that I would be welcome back, and set off with August down the road.

"So..." I turned towards August. "What do you think?"

"Ava, I think they're pretty awesome. I still can't believe you went through with it. And. . . wait. . . what's that?" He teased. "Is that a smile?"

I shot him the meanest death stare I could muster. "Shut up, August, or I will cut you."

That night, I slept peacefully. . .until, that is, I stumbled upon a rather strange dream. Aggie was in it and there was something wrong with her. I entered the dream, to get a closer view, and it suddenly became very clear to me that she was dying. I began to freak out in her little hospital room. My hands were shaking with panic as I looked around for a way to save her. The clock on her wall only gave her a few hours. It was cancer. I quickly realized that it was time for me to choose her fate. As fast as I could, I took the thread of Aggie's life and wound it up tight, just as the little old woman in the hospital had shown me so long ago. There was no way Aggie was leaving me, not now. Even though I would not admit it to her, I needed Aggie badly. I knew that sounded selfish but it was true. I placed my hand on her sleeping body and I awoke.

Why hadn't they told me? I paced around my flat all morning, bouncing back and forth from being angry at them for not telling me, and then relieved that I had gotten to her in time.

My phone started ringing late in the evening. August was still around because of a late start that day and he was packing up his books and notes. I snatched my phone up off the counter and saw that it was Ari. I picked up the phone but did not say anything.

"Hello? Ava?" I was wrong; it was Andy calling from Ari's phone.

"What do you want, Andy?" I asked in a much colder tone than I thought I was capable of speaking.

"Well, uh, I just wanted to thank you. Aggie's doctor called us all in today. I was thinking the worst, we all were, but he said that the cancer retreated overnight and there are no signs of it anywhere. I know something like this could only have been done by you, so you have my utmost gratitude."

I started to respond, my voice getting louder by the second until I was nearly screaming through the phone.

"Why the hell didn't anybody tell me, Andy? What complete bullshit! I could have helped her sooner! I cannot freaking believe you kept Aggie's cancer from me."

"We can't just come and bother you with stuff like this," he answered calmly. "You have your own issues to deal with..."

"Stuff like this," I began to scream louder. "How can you even say that? The only reason I am where I am is to keep you guys alive. Letting Aggie just die completely defeats the purpose! Don't ever do that to me ever again!"

"Um. . ." he paused, "I'm sorry, Ava; you're right, of course. Would you like to speak with Ari now?"

"NO!" I yelled right before I hung up the phone.

Even though I missed Ari more than anything, I was so terribly angry at the family for not telling me about Aggie that I knew I would not be able to speak calmly with him. In fact, I had really surprised myself by having spoken to Andy the way I did. All of the anger, pain and sadness that had been brewing inside me the last two months had mounted up. Nearly losing Aggie became my melting point.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and I heard August shuffle his papers from behind me. I jumped, having completely forgotten he was even still here.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"What did I say about personal questions?" I snapped at him.

"Oh, come off it, Ava," August retorted. "You know, I had hoped we could be friends. But I know absolutely nothing about you, and you know everything about me."

"Whatever, August. I don't know everything about you and I know what I know only because you told me, not because I asked, or even wanted to know."

"Fine, Ava!" August grabbed his bag off the counter. Normally, I would have just let him fume out and leave for the day. He had stormed out on me numerous times before and had always come right back the next day. However, I was afraid that, left alone on this night, I would break down and do something stupid. . . like call Ari.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Okay, August, what do you want to know?" He had a triumphant smile plastered on his face.

"Uh, ok," he scratched his head. "Who was that on the phone?"

I took a deep breath and then pushed the air out from between my puffed cheeks. "That was... that was Andy, my boyfriend's dad, well...my ex-boyfriend's dad."

"Huh, so there's a complicated boyfriend issue, is there? Is that why you're always so nasty?"

"I haven't been that nasty."

August gawked at me.

"Ava, you just cussed out your boyfriend's dad; "nasty" is a forgiving word to describe your attitude."

"Yeah, well I guess that's part of the reason I've been on edge. Ari and I haven't talked since I moved here, apart from one very tiny text message. I thought it would be easier that way."

"Well, has it been easier?"

"Honestly, no. Each day is harder than the last."

"So what is lover boy going to think of those new tats?"

"I really don't know. That's a good question. He is all the way in California, and I don't have any plans to go back."

"That really sucks, I'm sorry. I wish I had comforting words to give you, but I don't know much about relationships. But, uh, I did hear you listening to _The Arctic Monkeys_ the other day, and I actually have tickets for Friday's show if you're interested; might help take your mind off things."

My mouth hung open in shock. I couldn't believe I had opened up for one second and he was already coming on to me. I think August could tell by the look on my face what I was thinking. He threw his palms up in a gesture of peace and quickly blurted out, "It's not like that! I'm gay!"

"You're gay?" I asked, having been taken completely off guard.

"Couldn't you tell?" he laughed.

"Sorry, August, I don't sit around and play 'is he or isn't he.' I've never even thought about it. But now that you mention it, it does make sense...and yeah, sure, I do love _The Arctic Monkeys,_ sounds like fun."

"Good, 'cause Jake is busy and I really don't want to go alone."

"Well, I'm glad I can help, even if I am just a warm body to fill an empty seat."

"Har, har, Ava. You know I think much more of you than that. Why else would I have hung around for so long?"

"Uh, I don't know...maybe because you're getting paid."

"Oh yeah, that's right," he said with a smile.

That Friday, August hung around until after my exams and waited for me as I got ready for the concert. I had a hard time finding anything that still fit me. London and my stomach did not get along and I had probably lost ten pounds since I'd arrived. I hadn't ventured too far off my tea and toast diet and my work with getting Nora ready for a marathon hadn't helped. On top of everything else, I wasn't sleeping regularly. I couldn't even remember the last time I had actually felt hungry, but I am sure it was when I was still content, back in California. I finally settled on some leggings, a pair of leather boots and a long chunky sweater. August and I headed down the block to a café that we had gone to on occasion for morning coffee. I was in need of a pick-me-up, having spent another sleepless night obsessing over the fact that I had refused to talk with Ari.

The show was at The Camden Roundhouse and our seats were incredible.

"How did you get these seats? They must have cost you a fortune."

"Ha, yeah," August started, "actually your grandmother gave me a raise; she said it's impressive that I have been able to stick around for as long as I have."

This made me laugh. "Well, you deserve it."

The show was great and August and I had a blast. One of the best parts about being me at a concert is that most people can't stand to get close to me. August and I pushed our way to the front with ease and I created a nice space bubble, without anyone bumping into us or stepping on our toes. We sort of had our own personal concert.

When the show was over, August walked me back to my flat, talking the whole way about his own recent move to London. He had just graduated from l'Universite d'Avignon in the south of France when he found out that his boyfriend Claude had been cheating on him. August struggled to deal with the break-up and eventually realized that he needed to get away.

I listened to his story and felt guilty for having been such a complete jerk to him. Then I realized that I had no idea where August lived.

"So what area of London do you live in? Are you in Camden Town, too?"

"Well," he began to answer, "I am kind of in-between places right now. My roommate kicked me out last month so his girlfriend could move in, so I've been staying on Jake's sofa until I can find something in my price range."

"Oh," I said feeling even worse for him. A sudden thought popped up in my head.

"This isn't my apartment or anything, but there are two bedrooms and I live there for free, so I wouldn't charge you. As long as you don't tell Margaux, you're welcome to stay with me."

"Seriously?" He said with a grin. "That would be awesome."

"Yeah, seriously, it's no big deal. Just move your things into the spare room. You'll have to make room in the closet – the chick that lived here before me must have been really into dressing up because she left a ton of wigs and weird leather clothes behind; I would have gotten rid of it by now if I didn't feel so unmotivated."

"Hey, wigs and weird leather clothes don't bother me a bit – the offer sounds great! I don't have much, but I'll bring it with me on Monday."

"Sure. Umm listen, the only thing is that I scream in my sleep. Don't wake me up and don't ask me what it's about."

"Yeah, sure, ok, Ava."

I thanked August again for the concert. He left and I made my way onto the lift and into my flat. I felt happy that August would be sharing the flat with me. I hadn't realized how tired I had become of being alone all the time and was looking forward to having a flat mate. My spirits felt slightly lifted. I went straight to sleep and got my work done in the hospital hallway.

### Chapter 18

### I miss you

The weeks went by and I soon discovered that I really did like living with August. He was clean and he gave me my space. He was also easy to talk with. When I felt lonely and my heart ached for Ari, August was there for me. We got into the routine of getting coffee at Camden Bar and Kitchen. Sometimes we would walk down together and sit and do school work, but when I was feeling especially blue, and couldn't face going out, August always offered to go fetch my java for me.

One day, when he came back with my drink, I was sitting perched up in the window seat. I didn't even notice that he had returned until he started yelling at me.

"Ava! What is wrong with you? I have been sitting here talking to you for five minutes and you haven't said a word!"

"I'm sorry August; my mind must have been somewhere else."

"So, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well, the same stuff I guess. Ari's birthday is next week and I just want to go home."

"So go home, Ava – go visit and then come back or something."

"It's not that easy, and I know if I leave here I will never come back." I had remained vague on the issue of why I was even in London in the first place, and he understood that the issue was not up for discussion.

"So... if you broke up with him, why do you even care?"

"I don't know; it's not really like that. I broke up with him because I had no other choice."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing in and out, pushing back the onslaught of tears. "You should have seen his face when I told him I had to go; it haunts my sleep at night."

"Do you still love him?"

"You know I do."

"Does he love you, Ava?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I think so; the selfish part of me hopes so."

"That's not selfish. You are an amazing person and you deserve love; quit treating yourself so poorly."

"You think too highly of me. I am being selfish by keeping you here with me. If you were smart you'd leave, and if I were the nice person you think I am, I would send you away for good."

"I have said it before, and I will say it again, you are a complete psycho, Ava, but I love you. And I don't think you can just ignore his birthday. So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have no ideas. Nothing I could give Ari would be good enough."

August grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat.

"I have a great idea, but first you need to do something with yourself. You look like shit, my dear. I love you, but you are in desperate need of a shower and a comb."

I shot August a nasty look but did what he said. Actually, a shower sounded very welcoming. I cleaned up and grabbed my makeup bag that had sunk to the bottom of my luggage from disuse. I had never unpacked and when I did laundry, I folded my clothes up and packed them back in my bag instead of in the closet. The only item in the closet was Ari's shirt. August was more at home in the flat than I ever would be. I had broken down once and gone in to the London _baio_. I had no choice; most of my clothes sagged on my frame.

Though the end of March was near, the weather was still cold, so I put on some jeans, my tall leather riding boots, a sweater, my black Burberry trench coat and a red pashmina.

I followed August out and onto the crowded streets of London. An entire day of walking and shopping later, I had found a whole pile of gifts for Ari: A Belstaff tour master jacket from Pelican & Parrots, vintage vinyl records for his extensive collection of favorite bands from Rough Trade and a creepy, two-headed teddy bear from The Last Tuesday Society...

I got Ari nineteen gifts all together and while we shopped, August took pictures all throughout London. We went into the best cake shop, Konditor & Cook, and I ordered their signature magic cake. The cake is made up of little squares that are then arranged to spell out words. I had them do nineteen squares, each in black and white and each embellished with either an X or an O. The bakery assured me the cake would be delivered to Ari precisely on his birthday. We headed back to the apartment and I stocked up on enough postal boxes to send each gift separately. The FEDEX guy was going to hate me, but my plan was worth it.

At the flat, I started to wrap the gifts while August put all of his pictures together and designed a different card for each present. Soon he left for the photo shop down the street. When he got back, he had nineteen different cards, each showing a different busy and popular location in London. I appeared somewhere in each card, blended into the various scenes, and when stacked all together, the cards made up an ingenious _Where's Waldo?_ birthday card game.

The game actually was really hard; if not for my red pashmina, I wouldn't have been able to find myself in more than half of the pictures. What August had done with these cards was perfect. I signed each one with a simple "XO" and we packed them inside with the gifts and walked them down to be shipped out to California. I had them all sent to Aggie's house. Ari's birthday was on Saturday so I knew he would be home to receive them. I had a nervous feeling. I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing. What if he had moved on and found someone else? I couldn't bear the thought so I pushed it back to the corner of my mind and moved on to homework.

The next Thursday, August announced that we would be taking a boat cruise on The Thames River. I crossed my arms across my chest and downright refused.

"I don't do boats, August. Pick something else or leave."

August flopped down on the couch in disappointment. "Fine Ava, what would you like to do today?"

"What about _nothing_?" I answered. We had already seen Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle, St. Paul's Cathedral, The Globe and the Hampton Court Palace. I had been on a double decker bus more times than I cared to think about. August had dragged me to Madame Tussaud's. I had had a freak out on the London Eye and screeched through the London Bridge Experience.

"Not happening, Ava; we are going to do something."

"Stonehenge?" I smiled. I could do stones; there was nothing threatening about that.

We spent the morning on the train, then paid a visit to Stonehenge. August bought me a souvenir, I bought lunch and we rode the train home. It was a nice, quiet and normal day spent with a friend. It was a nice break from rain and sadness.

****

August and I were sitting in the living room, reading very late into the night on Ari's birthday, when my phone started to go off nonstop. He gave me a sly smile as I got up and yanked it off the charger. I had gotten a dozen texts from Ari's whole family. Lauren had sent me a one that said, "Oh, my gosh that bear is super creepy! I love you! Come home!" as soon as I saw her words, my heart sank. I didn't think I was prepared to read all of the notes, but I put myself through torture anyway and kept reading. Rory sent me a message that said, "This cake is freaking awesome," and that put me a little more at ease. I got messages from Julia, Nick, Gianna, Thais, Aggie and Andy -- all saying how much fun it was watching Ari open my gifts and how nice it was to see him smile again. They said that they all played the "Where's Ava" game together and it made them miss me and they wished me a safe return home.

I wiped a tear from my eye and took in a deep breath. I didn't have the heart to text them back. I had nothing to say and no hope of coming home. I said good night to August and walked to my room. I had just gotten under the blankets when I got one last text. It was from Ari and he had sent a simple "O," so I quickly replied with an "X" and then cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next day in time to say goodbye to August, who was taking a few days off to meet his parents at a resort on the seaside in Wales. I watched him pack from my perch in my window seat as I sipped on my coffee.

"Are you sure you don't want to join us, Ava? You know you're welcome."

"For the hundredth time no, but thank you for the offer anyway. I'll be fine; I am planning on hanging out with Nora."

August let out a sigh and an eye roll.

"Ava, running with someone is not the same thing as 'hanging out.' You need a life."

I got up and walked to my room, slamming the door behind me. I put on _Lil Jon_ at full blast. Knowing August's taste in music, he probably would leave sooner than he had planned.

****

Nora was fun to run with. She had really improved her time and speed and I was confident she would complete the marathon with little trouble.

By the middle of the week, I had read everything that August had assigned and I was utterly bored. On Thursday, Nora and I went for a run and I asked what she had going on for the night.

"I am going to this new club in Soho. You should come; it'll be fun."

I was hesitant but anything was better than sulking around my flat. August was right; I needed a life.

"Yeah, ok, I'll go if you are sure it's alright."

"Absolutely! I'll meet you there at eight?"

I agreed to meet Nora and then made my way to the market to stock up on some things I was in need of. Like food. And soap. Just a few of the essentials. I got a bunch of fresh fruit and veggies and a gaggle of toiletries and went back to my flat. I took a sharp knife out of the drawer and began to cut up an apple, slipped a bit and nearly sliced my finger off. Deep breath at the near miss, then I set the knife super carefully on the counter and ate my apple. After my "food" I hopped in the shower to get ready for the evening.

Nora, and her boyfriend, Adler, met me out in Soho and the club proved to be a good time. Nora and I danced all night and Adler was a nice guy. I felt a pang of jealousy, though, whenever I saw them dancing together or talking and holding hands. They were sweet and despite the fact that they made me long for Ari, I was happy for Nora.

At around two in the morning I finally arrived back home and, for a change, fell straight asleep. Immediately I started to dream, but the dream was another new one and more than a bit strange. In it I was asleep, at least I seemed to be -- sleeping within my sleep. I was confused. I perceived my dream as a waking state and still saw myself there on the bed, asleep. I couldn't actually tell if I was dreaming or awake. The answer came as I saw Kakos No. 3 walk into my bedroom holding a knife. His intention was plain – he was coming to do away with me, and if the dream proved to be a prediction, as the others had been, he would be in my flat within moments.

Jumping awake, I ran to my window, peered down, and watched as No. 3 slipped into the building through a broken window on the first floor. I shot through the flat to the kitchen and grabbed the knife I had used on my apple earlier in the evening. I then ran to August's room, threw open his closet, grabbed one of my predecessor's foam heads with a brown wig on it and raced back to my room. I threw the head down on a pillow face first and started shoving pillows under the blankets in an attempt to make it look as though I were sleeping there. Hearing my front door creak open, I padded noiselessly over to the wall behind my bedroom door and waited.

It didn't take long for No. 3 to enter my bedroom. I stood in the shadow of the door, terrified and hoping the sound of my pounding heart would not give me away. I watched as No. 3 lifted his knife over his head. He brought it down hard into the back of the foam head's neck. In his moment of confusion about just what it was that his knife had sliced into, I struck. I jumped on his back and he swung around, I grabbed him around the head and with my knife in my hand, I sliced his thick neck from ear to ear. He fell backwards, on top of me, on the bed.

I struggled and began to panic as I tried to pry No. 3's twitching, bloody, heavy body off of me. Hysteria threatened to take over my mind, but I braced myself and worked at breathing deeply and steadily.

"Ok, Ava, think! Calm down!" I muttered to myself from under No. 3's weight.

I managed to roll him away from me, then shook my body and took a few more deep breaths to ward off hyperventilating. No. 3 was definitely dead. With a great deal of difficulty, I wrapped him in my bloody sheets. My hands were shaking and my eyes were blurred by tears. I dragged the body through my flat, trying hard not to get blood on anything. The door to the flat stood open, as did the door to the lift... and I pushed and pulled No. 3 into the car. I pushed the button for the ground floor and the two of us made the trip down together.

When the creaking elevator ground to a halt and the metal door rolled to the side, I pulled No. 3 out of the building through the service entrance and into an unlit back alleyway. Shadows formed by the gray sky above the alley shifted and coalesced as I dragged the body for some time, looking back over my shoulder frequently to check for anybody who might see me. At last, several dark blocks away from my building, I rolled the Kakos brother's body out of my sheets and into a gap that wedged him between two dumpsters.

Thankfully, there hadn't been another soul in sight... a rarity for Camden Town. I grabbed my sheets and then took off running towards the flat, unnoticed. As soon as I got back, I started a fire in the fireplace and slowly burned the bloody bedding until all that was left was a stained mattress. I sprayed the mattress with bleach, scratching at the stains until my fingers ached. I flipped it over, packaged it like a sandwich in waxed paper with a light blanket from the linen closet, stuffed it into a clean mattress pad and, after a moment's consideration, leaned it against the wall. I would not be sleeping on it again. Then I scrubbed the knives, both mine and the one Kakos No. 3 had carried, wrapped them up several times in old newspaper and garbage bags and dumped them down the garbage shoot in the hall.

Once my place was completely spotless, I crawled in the tub and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it. The hot water rinsed the blood from my body, turning the clear water and the white porcelain tub a dull rusty red. The blood swirling in the water at my ankles, made my stomach heave uneasily. I stood under the water until it had turned icy cold. I scrubbed my fingers until my skin began to peel off. I ripped my fingernails down to sore nubs in an attempt to get the blood out from underneath them.

When all was done that could be done in the tub, I crept to my room and threw on some sweats and my old Cubs tee-shirt. I crawled on my hands and knees to my closet, threw open the door, yanked Ari's gray sweatshirt from the floor and wrapped it around myself. I stayed there on the closet floor, cocooned by Ari's delicious scent, closed my eyes and waited for my state of shock to subside. As the adrenaline that had flooded me during the attack faded, the severity of my situation began to sink in; I ran to the bathroom and was sick for what felt like hours.

****

No. 3's body went undiscovered until Saturday morning. I had not slept or eaten since early Friday morning, that morning I had killed a man. August arrived back on Sunday afternoon and found me lying on the floor in the bathroom. I had just gotten over another round of dry heaves. My ribs were sticking out from my stomach, and my hipbones had become sharp points. No matter how I tried to lie down, my stomach hurt.

"Holy hell, Ava," August shouted, causing my ears to ring. "What happened? Is everything ok?"

I just shrugged my shoulders, unable to communicate.

"Seriously, Ava, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I croaked, "just not feeling well I guess."

Once again, I was consumed with hate and anger. My insides were hollow. When I hadn't been busy getting sick in the bathroom, I was pulling my hair and screaming.

"You are skeletal, Ava. When you feel like telling me what went down, maybe I can help you. We stared at each other for a few moments before August turned away and said, "So. . . did you hear about the mobster kind of guy they found dead a couple of blocks down in our alley yesterday?"

I continued my deadpan stare and August flipped the TV on and turned it to the news.

The newswoman was explaining that it was the third mysterious death of a Kakos brother this year. She explained that the first two deaths had taken place on New Year's Eve, in Dana Point, California, during an attempted kidnapping. She went on to say that the Kakos family was not available for comments at this time and that no suspects had been named. The anchor then read a full page of arrests and criminal activity the three had been involved in.

"Dana Point," August said, finally putting it together. "Isn't that where you sent all those boxes? That's where Ari is from, isn't it?"

I nodded my head slowly, really, really not wanting to talk about this.

"Oh, my gosh, that's nuts. Do you know who they tried to kidnap?"

I nodded my head again.

"No way, are you serious?"

I once again nodded my head then opened my mouth. "It was Ari's sister."

"You're lying!" August exclaimed.

"I wish I were," I said as I closed my eyes and tried to fight back fresh tears.

"So what happened," he pressed. I tightened my eyes, squeezing them closed as hard as I could. I would come clean to August. Our friendship would just be easier that way.

"Well, those two men kidnapped Ari's sister. I found them, managed to free her, and one of them shot me," I began to explain as I pulled Ari's sweatshirt down off my left shoulder revealing my now scarred gunshot wounds.

"They thought I was dead and put me in a garbage bag. They were going to dump my body at sea but I regained consciousness. I cut myself out of the bag and found the gun. I shot one guy in the back of the head and I killed him. A fight broke out between the other guy and me and I managed to get a rope around his neck and then push him over the side of the boat; I hanged him. Ari saved my life; I nearly bled to death on his back patio. I moved here to London the day they released me from the hospital."

"Nuh uh," was August's response.

I shrugged my shoulders, not caring if he believed me or not.

"So is the fact that one of their brothers was found dead a block from here just a coincidence?"

"He came here to kill me a few nights ago. I did the only thing I could to survive."

"Oh hell, Ava! We have to call the police."

"Go ahead and call them if you want. I don't blame you, but by the time the police get here I will be gone and you will never see me again."

"Why?"

"I can't really explain it; I just can't be connected to this."

August paced the floor for a while, and then he finally took a seat on the couch. "Fine, I trust you."

All I could do was roll my eyes at him. August took in the sight of my oversized sweatshirt and asked, "So, does _he_ know?"

"No, I haven't told them. I'm sure Ari's father has been made aware of the situation by now, but I don't owe them anything. They chose to keep Aggie's cancer from me so I don't feel a need to tell them anything."

"You are so messed up, Ava," August said with a sigh.

"Whatever, you want to go with me to Jake's?"

"Sure, but I am not going anywhere with you until you shower and brush your teeth."

I took in one last inhale from Ari's sweatshirt then put it back in the corner of my closet and headed to the shower.

At Jake's, I had a third tally mark tattooed onto my left wrist.

### Chapter 19

### Visitors

I was on edge for a couple of weeks, worried that someone would come to question me about Kakos No. 3, but the only person I heard from was Margaux; she texted me, saying that if I should need anything to let her know. Her message indicated clearly that she knew I was involved in the murder. I began to lighten up a bit and August and I went out much more often as the weather got warmer. We began to hang out with Nora and Adler in Soho. Sometimes Claude, August's ex-boyfriend, would tag along. Claude had just moved to London and was trying to get back into August's life. The "should he or shouldn't he" conversation became a daily feature of our lives.

One night when I was sitting at a bar with August, I got a text from Rory: "Pick us up at Heathrow in an hour?" A second text arrived from him immediately after: "Please?" Then came a third: "Oh & can we stay w/u for a week?"

I stared at my phone and blinked several times. Rory is here. Here in London. My lips pulled up at the corners and I felt... excited! I typed a quick "okay" in response and grabbed August, telling him we had to head to Heathrow. We said goodbye to Nora and Adler. We ignored Claude, who was having a moment on the dance floor, dancing by himself to _Deadmau5_ , and headed out to pick Rory up at the airport.

"So who is this person exactly and who else is with him?"

"Um, he's my friend and Ari's cousin."

"Is he with Ari?!" August exclaimed.

I shoved that thought away; I was not going to let myself get excited about the prospect of seeing Ari.

"I doubt it."

"Oh...So, he is staying with us for a week?"

"Yeah. I guess. I would have told you sooner but I only just found out."

"Are you sure Ari isn't with him?"

The very thought of seeing Ari was like a crazy addictive drug. It made every nerve in my body dance around with excitement. I knew not to get my hopes up.

"Yes, August, I'm sure he isn't here."

We got to Heathrow just in time to meet Rory at the pick-up area. I heard Julia's squeals and closed my eyes, bracing myself for what was to come. Rory scooped me up into a giant bear hug that made my ribs scream out in pain, but I had missed him so much I didn't care. Just seeing him standing there was a very surreal moment. I took one tiny glance through the corridor. No Ari.

As though able to read my thoughts, Rory bit down on his bottom lip, shook his head no and gave me one last reassuring squeeze.

"So what are you guys doing here?" I finally asked as I tried to get us a cab.

"It's spring break and we missed you, so here we are! Julia used the tickets you and um... well, the tickets she got for Christmas."

"This is an awesome surprise," I said, then turned and introduced them to August.

We got a cab, and packed it down with luggage and headed to my makeshift home.

August moved to the couch, giving Rory and Julia his room, and we stayed up most of the night talking about school and parties and stuff no one cared about; we were all very careful to avoid the Ari conversation. The next day, Julia and August slept in while Rory joined Nora and me on our run. I could tell our slow pace was killing him, but he was gracious and kept stride for Nora's sake.

We spent the afternoon touring London. Since Julia had grown up nearby, we visited all of her favorite places; the tour gave us a chance to get to know each other a little bit better. They forced me back on the London Eye and I kept my eyes closed for the whole half hour ride. We visited the cemetery where Julia's family rests. I could tell it was a very hard thing for her to do. She started crying and threw her arms around me in a hug.

"You did it, didn't you?" she whispered in my ear.

"I don't know what you are talking about. . .I'm sorry."

"You killed him. The Kakos they found here last month. He was the man who killed my parents. Thank you, Ava."

"Oh..."

We spent nearly every night out in Soho, and since August did not believe in spring break, I continued my studies with him in the mornings. Of the many schools I had attended and of the many teachers I had had to deal with, August was by far the most strict. But he made up for pushing me by coming home Thursday night with six tickets to the _Mumford & Sons'_ Friday night show at The Hammersmith Apollo. I gave him my biggest hug and a little kiss on his cheek while he tried to wiggle away.

We dressed up for the evening and I even let Julia do my makeup. Then we met up with Adler and Nora at Les Trois Garcons for dinner, one of my favorite places and one of August's too. Its pink-and-blue chandeliers, stuffed monkeys smoking cigars, and handbags strung from the ceiling create an atmosphere that is somewhat whimsical but also very chic. After a great dinner, complete with lots of storytelling and laughter, we made our way to the show. The Hammersmith was bursting at the seams but the _Mumford & Sons'_ show was fantastic and worth the close quarters. We all had a great time and I could tell that Julia and August had become fast friends. I don't know why I hadn't noticed earlier how much alike they are.

We got back to my flat really late. Julia and August crashed on the couch as soon as we walked through the door. I donned my tank and boxers and climbed up in my window seat with a cup of tea. Rory found me there and pulled his giant self in next to me.

"He misses you, you know," Rory whispered as he nudged my shoulder with his. A big fat tear rolled down my cheek.

"I miss him, too," I said quietly.

"So come home, Ava. This place is no good for you. No offense, but you look sick and tired. And thin and pale. You're sleeping on box springs for Pete's sake. You have a home with us. Come back with Julia and me, please."

"I can't Roar, you know that. I just can't." I swallowed hard. "So, does he know you are here?"

"I didn't tell him, but I'm sure he knows by now. You know no one in our family can keep a secret." Rory paused for a moment, "Ava, Ari is a mess; he does nothing but mope around. Aggie is worried sick about him." Rory pulled out his phone and held it up so I could see a picture he had taken of Ari asleep, in his bed at home, with a two-headed teddy bear tucked under his arm.

"He said it smells like you, whatever that means."

I started to cry, even though I had a smile on my face. That picture made me both the saddest and happiest I had been in a very long time. Rory pulled me to him and let me cry into his shoulder until I was all dried up.

I finally got myself together. "So do you think Ari will be mad at you two for sneaking off here?"

"If I know Ari, and I think do, he is going to be irate. He has been looking for a reason to break my nose for months now. But he won't be as mad as when he sees those tats, Ava."

"Oh, yeah," I said, scrunching up my nose and holding out my arm to display my new art. "Well, I guess we won't know until we get to see each other again, if ever."

"I'm joking, Ava. He'll probably think it's the hottest thing ever. I'm sure he won't be able to take his hands off you, not that he ever could to begin with."

I blushed and the thought of Ari's touch sent happy shivers down my spine.

"I told him I didn't love him."

"I know you did."

"I lied."

"He knows that. We all know that."

"Rory, this is so much harder than I ever imagined. I just want the Kakos thing to all be over with. I just want to go home."

"I know, Baby. But you can come home whenever you want. We'll always have a place for you, no matter what."

****

We took Julia and Rory to the airport on Saturday. August and Julia hugged about a million times and I am pretty sure I saw him cry when they said their final goodbye.

"How come you never told me about Julia before? She is so awesome," August said as we headed out of the airport.

"Umm, Julia is... nice. She's a good friend. I guess I didn't think my past would ever mingle with my present. I am really glad you like her."

I didn't say much more on the cab ride home. A part of me was elated that they had come to see me, but now that they were gone, I felt empty. The anger and sadness started to creep back into my psyche. I felt that old self-hate begin to rise in me again. If I could be any other person in the world, I could just go home and be normal with Ari.

August and I arrived back at our flat and I went straight back to my room. I eased down on my box springs, covered myself up with a sweater, and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

That night I had a dream that August had gone to Camden Bar & Kitchen to fetch our drinks. At first, I paid no real attention to the dream; then I noticed a man dressed in black, sitting alone at a small table near the window. I had seen this man before, in another dream. This was No. 4 and the vial in his hand made his plan perfectly clear. Poison.

By the time the sun peeked through my windows, my plan was already under way. I woke August up by digging through his closet for a ginger-colored, curly-haired wig that I had seen in there a few weeks ago. I also dragged out a pair of fish-net stockings and a leather mini skirt, then headed to the bathroom to get ready. I paired my new outfit with some black leather boots and a black leather jacket. Julia had left her eye make up on the counter, so I put on dark eyeliner and fake eyelashes to go along with the rest of my ensemble.

August stumbled groggily into the bathroom, looked at me and said, "Okay, Ava, you have seriously lost it."

"Shut up and listen," I snapped as I pushed him down onto the toilet as a makeshift seat. "Here's the plan. The fourth Kakos is making an appearance today and he has added you to his hit list, so if you want to survive, you will do as I say."

I saw that I had his full attention, and continued. "Today, at ten o'clock, No. 4 is going to be at the Camden Bar & Kitchen. He will have paid the cashier to spike the drinks that you order with poison. I am going to head toward Camden's but stop at the little drug store on the corner for a vial just like the one I saw in my dream, fill it with water and get there before you arrive.

"No. 4 will make a huge mistake right before you walk through the door. He will go to the loo, and when he does, he'll leave the poison in the inner pocket of his suit jacket. I am going to switch the vials, pour the real poison into his coffee and then leave Camden's, pretending I have a phone call to make. When you see me leave, that is your cue to order our drinks. You need to sit by the counter and act pre-occupied so No. 4 will feel comfortable with the transaction. He will walk from the bathroom, grab the vial out of his pocket, and pretend to make small talk with the cashier as he nonchalantly passes the now fake poison on. As soon as you get the drinks, you need to leave Camden's and bring the coffee straight back here. No. 4 is going to return to his table and drink that poison and I don't want you anywhere around when he does."

August stared at me for a long while in disbelief.

"It's either that, or Nora will find our dead bodies on Monday."

"Sick," he said with a scrunched-up nose.

"Yeah, tell me about it," I agreed. "So you're in?"

August agreed, and at ten, I arrived at the café, in full costume, and took my place at a table near No. 4. He looked me over with no change of expression and went back to pretending to consider a menu. His jacket was hanging from his chair and I could spy the outline of the vial of clear poison in the inner breast pocket. I ordered a flat white and a few short minutes later, he stood up and walked to the restroom.

As soon as I heard the door click shut, I got to work, grabbing the vial out of his pocket, and dumping the liquid into his coffee. I worked fast, careful not to be noticed by any of the patrons, most of whom were sipping hot coffee and checking the morning _Times_. I took my vial, shoved it into his pocket, slid the empty one into my own coat pocket and headed out to the street to make my fake phone call. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. If I messed up this plan, August and I were both goners.

When No. 4 returned to his table, August walked in and placed our regular order of drinks. He eased onto a stool to wait. No. 4 came up to the counter and asked for a morning paper, palming the fake bottle to the cashier at the same time and then went back to his seat. The cashier handed August our drinks and told him that this time the drinks were on the house. A very kind sort of fellow... giving us coffee that he had just doctored up.

August did as I had told him to and went straight back to the flat while I waited for No. 4 to take a drink of his coffee.

Seconds passed. I watched him read the paper.

Minutes passed.

Drink.

Drink.

Drink, damn it, drink.

My heart pounded, my breathing hitched in my chest as No. 4 put the cup up to his lips. A few tense moments passed and then suddenly he grabbed his chest in shock and pain. His eyes widened and then slid closed as he slumped out of his chair and onto the floor. Screams and panic broke out in the café. Questions about the Heimlich maneuver and about who would call the paramedics flew in the air and one customer tried to start CPR. I took the chaos as my cue to walk away.

The next day, August and I went back to Camden Bar & Kitchen and I walked up to the cashier. His nametag told me his name was Keith.

"Hi Keith, you remember me? I am supposed to be dead, right? Well as you can see I'm not, no thanks to you." I lowered my voice to a near whisper and gave him an evil smile. "I'm watching you, and someday, when you least expect it, I will give you what you deserve."

Keith said not a word nor did he blink an eye as August and I walked away. I didn't really plan to seek any revenge on him, though. I do think that sometimes silence-induced paranoia is enough torture on its own.

August and I made our way down the street towards Jake's. August had a grumpy look on his face.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," he pouted. "It's just, this stinks. Now we're going to have to find a new place to get coffee."

I laughed, "I know. Bummer, right?"

After a fourth tally mark was tattooed on my left wrist, I went back to staying at the flat again, wrapped in Ari's sweatshirt, sick and shaky. The news shows reported No. 4's death and, detailed another horrible rap sheet. But even though these men had been monsters, the knowledge that I had taken lives that weren't already on the edge of ending unnerved me. I tried to justify my actions by reminding myself over and over again that, if I had not acted, I would certainly be dead myself. But still I obsessed over what I had done to the point of sickness.

Killing the Kakos was much different from cutting the threads in my dream. For the most part, my dream involved people who were dying and just needed help making it to the other side. For them, death was a part of life, something neither I nor they could avoid. Killing the Kakos was a cold-blooded act, born of a conscious mind and it took a toll on me, even though I knew it had to be either them or me. August suggested I take my matter up in a church.

"I'll go with you, Ava, if you want."

"Fine." Couldn't hurt, I guessed. We went to a small church on a quiet corner and I made a silent confession and begged for forgiveness. When we left, I was shaking and could not stop the tears from flowing. August had to help me back to the flat.

"Ok, maybe church was too much. Perhaps you should just go get drunk. I would be more than willing to do that with you."

"I don't drink, August."

"Well, maybe you should."

"I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I am a complete control freak. I cannot lose control, ever. Drinking is a horrible idea."

"Well, I still think you should try it," he responded.

Margaux called me to check in shortly after the news reported the death of No. 4. The last time we had spoken was by text, just after No. 3 was found. I let her know that I was fine and on track to graduate. Neither of us actually spoke about No. 4's death, but we both knew that was why she was calling.

****

As the days passed, I recovered from the emotions the death of No. 4 had brought on and I felt good enough to go to the Virgin Marathon, the rather prestigious marathon Nora had been training for. August and I met Adler at the race so the three of us could cheer Nora on together. The area around the starting line was filled with friends and families of the runners and several news stations were represented.

Nora had asked me to find sponsors and run with her, but I knew my body wouldn't be able to handle the race. Besides, the thought of running a marathon without my mother with me made me sad. So we cheered for Nora all day long at various spots throughout the race, and when we met her at the finish line, she ran straight into Adler's arms.

Adler promptly went down on one knee and pulled from his pocket a little black box that he opened to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. Looking very serious and a little overwhelmed, he asked Nora to marry him. With tears in her eyes, she happily agreed and we all cried and hugged. She even hugged complete strangers – she was so excited.

The four of us met a while later for a celebratory drink and were delighted, as we sat at our table, to see that a local news station covering the marathon had caught the proposal on tape. Since the Virgin London Marathon was a pretty big deal, the proposal was played on the news all throughout the evening.

August kept me busy the whole month of May with schoolwork. I worked on lessons and reading assignments from the time I woke up until late into the evening. My schedule seemed to have finally readjusted itself so that I was again sleeping at night, rather than not at all. I missed Ari. A lot. And I had another near breakdown one night when August gave in to temptation and agreed to a date with Claude. I sent Ari a tiny "x" text and he quickly shot me back a tiny "o." I wanted desperately to call him and tell him I loved him. I yearned for his voice, his smile, and his touch, but I knew one phone call would break me and I would be on the next flight to L.A.

I got out of bed, took my phone, and hid it from myself in the other room. As I was walking back to my room, I heard the front door open and close. It was August and he was in tears. He threw himself on the couch and I sat on the floor next to him. He told me how things had gone with Claude and how he just knew there would be no revival of their former relationship. He was hurting and so was I. We both sat and cried until the sun came through my oval window, reminding us that real life was waiting and there were more pressing issues on the table than heartache.

****

My finals started at the beginning of June and they were tedious and ridiculously difficult. I cussed August out for three days straight. The tests and essays were next to impossible. August spent an entire day grading my exams, but when he finished he reported that I had received all A's for the semester. He would turn my report into Wheatin Prep where I would officially be receiving my diploma.

"Ava," he said with a huge grin, "you graduated at the top of your class. Do you have any idea how many people are going to be pissed when they find out that some shut-in they've never seen before has beat them to Valedictorian?"

"I am not a shut-in August, and I don't care what they think about it. And just for the record, I will not be attending any ceremonies."

"Ugh. Whatever, Ava. Are you never just happy?"

I gave him a mean stare, refusing to answer his stupid question, but allowed myself to be talked into going to Riverside Café for a small celebration and a surprise graduation gift, a gift certificate for one free tattoo at Jake's.

"Aw shucks, August, you shouldn't have!" I said with a laugh, already thinking about what fantastic art I might find for my right arm.

It was a very strange feeling knowing that I had graduated from high school and the only thing on my horizon was the fact that I had to kill two more Kakos brothers before one of them killed me. I sent a text to Margaux letting her know that I had graduated, but she didn't bother to respond.

After my mini-celebration, I fell asleep on my box springs. That night No. 5 came to me in my dreams. His plan was to play with fire.

I had less than twenty hours to decide how to respond to the idea of fire and get my counter plan in order. The attack I had seen in my dream would be awful and I'll admit I was terrified. I woke August in the morning and told him to pack only the necessities. Taking in the somber tone of my voice, he immediately did as I said. I packed most of my stuff too, tucking Ari's sweatshirt into a top corner of my bag. Then I gave my things to August and sent him off to Jake's place with all he could carry of what we both owned. I told him to wait there for me, but I was purposefully vague on the details.

I closed the door to my room, unlatched the oval pane of glass over my little window seat and doused the apartment floor with kerosene. The smell of it lay heavy in the air, but I wasn't going to give the Kakos brother time to consider what might be going on. I left the flat, pulled the door shut and pushed myself as far as I could into the recessed doorway of the next vacant flat down the hall. I settled down to wait.

The waiting went on well into the late evening hours. My shoulders ached and my knees cramped from time to time with the effort of staying in the doorway's shadows, but finally I heard the creak of the elevator cables as the car started its journey up from the foyer downstairs. I tensed and watched as No. 5 hesitated in the open car before he headed for my door. In his hand was a can of gasoline.

The moment he disappeared into the front room of my flat, I moved soundlessly forward and used my key to engage the dead bolt, locking him in my apartment. I ran lightly down the back steps and left the building. I climbed the three stories of the building's outside fire escape and peeked carefully into my flat through the oval window I had unlatched. I could see No. 5 standing outside the closed door to my room. Ever so carefully, I pushed the window forward, pulled myself into the room, and perched on my window seat. I watched as he wedged a chair under the doorknob of my room to trap what he thought was me in the bedroom.

I cleared my throat to get his attention. He turned, saw me and let out a gasp. He made an involuntary forward movement, causing gasoline to splash out of his can and run down his knees and ankles – not a lot of gasoline, but enough to get the job done. I lit a matchbook, flicked it at him, and watched as his pant legs caught on fire. He dropped to the kerosene soaked floor in a panic and started to roll around in an attempt to extinguish the flames. The rest of the flat caught quickly. The fire was hot; it ripped through the furniture and peeled the paint off the walls. I watched as the skin on No. 5's face began to bubble and shrivel, then quickly left back though my window to the fire escape and made my descent to the alleyway below. Not even ten minutes passed before the entire building, engulfed in flames, collapsed.

I walked with my back to my burning building as people hollered on the streets to one another and stared on at the spectacle behind me. I could hear in the distance the wail of fire engines. Without looking back, I made my way to Jake's and used my gift from August to have a fifth tally mark tattooed on my left wrist. It stretched diagonally across the other four. August and I said goodbye to Jake and made our way to Heathrow.

I bought two one-way tickets to LAX, with no layover, and we boarded the next flight to California. I still had No. 6 in the back of my mind but I missed Ari too much to be able to think about anything else.

The flight was brutal. I was sick and shaky from the shock of what I had done. I had not slept in days and I was so worked up about going home that I could not sleep on the plane. Instead, I clutched the armrest so tight that my knuckles were white and my fingers ached with cramps. My eyes were bloodshot, my pulse was racing, my lips trembled, and my feet bounced about. When we finally touched down in L.A, I called Margaux's car service company, and had a car meet us at the door.

August and I arrived at Ari's house in the late afternoon. We walked up the back steps and onto their magnificent deck. There was a dull red stain on the patio where I had nearly bled to death so many months ago. I suppressed the chill that ran up my back, then entered through the sliding glass doors into the kitchen, with August at my heels. I spied Aggie sitting at the island. Her hair was short and she was thin, but she was looking much better than the last time I had seen her.

"Hi." My voice was raw and scratchy. Aggie turned around, startled.

"Oh, Ava!" she cried as she got up and pulled me into her arms in a warm embrace. I let go of the little bit of strength I had left and sobbed. I cried harder than I had in months. She pulled me back and wiped my tears. "Ava Baby, look at you, when is the last time you ate?" I shrugged my shoulders and hugged her again, not ever wanting to let go.

I was home.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Aggie. I didn't mean what I said."

"Oh, Ava Baby, we know that. Don't cry for me, honey, I'm just so happy you're home again."

I got the sense that August was starting to feel uncomfortable so I wiped the rest of the tears from my face, "Aggie, this is my friend August. Is it ok if we stay here for a few days?"

Her eyes grew large, "Just a few days?" she asked sadly.

"Yeah, I'm not done yet; I just couldn't stay away any longer... is Ari home?" I asked in a pathetically small voice.

"No, Ari's at school. He's working on his last exam this afternoon, but he should be home in a few hours. Why don't you go clean up and take a nap and then you can surprise him." She said the last part with a smile. "August, I think Julia is home next door. If you want, I can walk you over there," she offered and August cheerfully accepted.

I made my way down the hallway and raided Aggie's linen closet. I pulled out my favorite kind of shampoo and conditioner, some body wash, a razor and lotion and headed to the guest bathroom. I scrubbed away months of anguish and anxiety. I wrapped myself in a towel, grabbed my bag, and made my way to Ari's room. I opened his door and the scent of freshly cut grass, sea and summertime overcame me. It was intoxicating. I began to feel woozy and light headed. I was able to get on a camisole and a matching pair of panties before I came toppling down onto Ari's bed and sunk, lifeless into his sea of blankets and pillows.

### Chapter 20

### Home

I woke up still beyond exhausted, lethargic and unresponsive. Some kind of commotion broke out in the kitchen; familiar voices filled my ears. I blinked my eyes open long enough to see that the room was filled with a deep orangey California sunset. I could smell freshly baked bread and roast with potatoes. It made my stomach hurt with hunger pains. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was screaming at myself to get up, but I couldn't. I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me and my eyes fluttered closed. All conscious thoughts were forgotten.

When I came to for the second time, Ari's room was pitch-black. I was tucked away under the blankets. Ari's bare chest was serving as my pillow and I was wrapped up tightly in his arms.

I felt as though a weight had been lifted, as if my body and my soul had finally been reunited. My eyes filled with tears that began to spill over onto my cheeks and Ari's chest. I snuggled in closer, basking in his warmth and scent, getting him wet with my unrelenting sobs. I felt his fingers run down the length of my spine sending warm tingles throughout my whole body. A cry broke out from my lips and I shed happy tears for the first time in my life.

Ari sat up and pulled me onto his lap. He held me to his chest while I cried and he rocked me back and forth, neither of us speaking. There were no words to describe the way I felt inside my soul.

"Ari, I love you," I finally whispered.

I felt him let out a breath and his body relaxed. "I love you," he whispered back in a sleepy voice.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said and the things I did. I didn't want to leave you. I always loved you – I never stopped."

"Shh, Baby, it's ok. I know. You did what you had to do, but you're here now. It's over."

My chest tightened up. He was wrong, I knew. It wasn't over. I never should have come back. This is bad. I am only making things worse by being here.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked in an attempt to change the subject. I didn't want to think about leaving him, though I knew would have to. All I wanted to do was bask in the happiness of being in his arms again, if only for a few short days.

"Mmm," he mused and nuzzled my hair with his nose, "there was no way I could interrupt such a beautiful scene as you sleeping in my bed once again. Well, that and I tried but you wouldn't budge."

I spied the time on the alarm clock. It read three a.m. I lifted my chin and kissed him with a kiss that was full of all the lust, love and passion I had been harboring inside me for the last six months. Ari let out a small gasp into my mouth. He lay my head down on the pillow and moved his body on top of mine. Our hands turned greedy as we searched each other's bodies. Our kisses grew deeper and our breathing grew louder. I felt Ari's hand move down my face then slowly across my neck and down my chest. His hand continued to move slowly down all the way to my hip bone. My skin tingled at his touch. I pushed myself against him. My lips moved to his ear lobe.

"Ari, please," I begged him not to stop; my voice was a mere whisper in his ear.

Ari moved his hands away from my body. They found mine and he wrapped our fingers up tightly and moved our hands to the pillow above my head.

Ari whispered, "I love you, but if I don't stop I'm afraid you'll regret our reunion when the morning comes."

He was right, of course. I had fully intended to give Ari all of the love I was capable of, but I knew I would later regret having let something happen because I had been uncontrolled. I didn't want my first time to take me by surprise. Ari rolled over to my side and tucked me under his arm where I quickly fell back to sleep. I was so weak; I couldn't have fought off the sleep if I had tried. My body was lashing out at me for months of malnourishment and sleep deprivation.

****

I heard the door creak open but my eyes would not budge. They remained closed, despite the fact that my brain was pleading with them to open.

"Ari, is everything ok?"

It was Aggie I think, but my brain was mush and her words were jumbled up in my head. I felt Ari pet my hair, and if I could have talked my lips into smiling, I would have.

"Yeah, I think so," I heard Ari whisper.

"Ava's been asleep for more than eighteen hours. Have you tried to wake her up again?"

"Yeah, I talked to her for a few minutes in the middle of the night. It was about three when she woke up, but she fell back asleep shortly after."

"Do you think she's sick? Does she need a doctor? Have you gotten a good look at her, Ari? She's so thin."

"I don't know, Ma. I think we should just leave her alone. She seemed fine last night, just tired."

"Please tell me those tattoos on her arm are the removable kind," Aggie sighed, and I could feel Ari shift underneath me as he pulled the blankets up over my arms.

"How long was she up last night?" Aggie's voice was thick with worry.

"Half an hour maybe."

"Ok, your graduation ceremony is in four hours. You need to get up and get ready. You also owe several people apologies for your behavior last night."

"I'm not leaving Ava. And I don't know that I owe any apologies to anyone."

"I am telling you that you will tell those boys, and Julia, sorry. End of discussion. Ari, I understand how you feel, but you can't miss graduation – you have a speech to give. Why don't you try to wake Ava up again and I'll put something out for her to eat."

I could hear Ari talking to me, but I couldn't respond.

When I woke up again, Ari's room was bathed in sunlight. He was sitting up in bed, his head leaning against the headboard. He was wearing his glasses and reading. My head was perched in his lap and his free hand gently caressed the birds flying around on the inside of my right arm.

"Do you hate them--the tattoos?" I asked as I rolled over to face him.

A small smile crept onto his face. "To tell you the truth, I don't think I have ever wanted you so badly in all my life. They're beautiful. I love them. I love you."

He held me against him and kissed me softly on the lips then kissed the tiny freckle above my lip and smiled again. I heard Ari's door swing open and we were greeted by Lauren, Nick, August, Julia and Rory. As they all barged in, I tried to scoot away from Ari to a less intimate position but he held me tighter and smiled brighter.

"Finally!" Lauren sighed. "I have been waiting for you to wake up all day!"

"Sorry, I'm so tired...Um, Ari," I said, "this is my friend August."

"Yeah," August spoke up, "we met briefly last night." He didn't meet my eyes when he spoke and I got the feeling that their meeting did not go over well.

"Oh, yeah, of course," I said. "August, I'm sorry I've slept so much. I just can't help it; I'm exhausted. I'm not being a very good friend."

"Nah, I don't expect anything less from you, Ava," he said as he took a seat in the chair across the room. I tossed a spare pillow at him and Lauren jumped in the bed and engulfed me in a giant hug.

I squinted my eyes at Rory. "Is that a black eye?"

"Yes." Julia snapped.

"What happened to you?"

"Uh," Rory rubbed the back of his head. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Aggie rushed in before I could question him any further.

"There you all are," she said with a sigh. "Have you completely forgotten that you have graduation in two hours and we have two hundred people coming over tonight for your graduation party?"

"Oh, my gosh, you have graduation today?" I sort of remembered having heard something about that, but I thought I had dreamt it.

Ari laughed and brushed it off. "Yeah, but it's no big deal."

Aggie spoke up, irritated, "It is a big deal! Now get up and start moving, except for you, Ava Baby, of course. Take all the time you need. I warmed you up some food; maybe you would feel better once you've eaten."

"That sounds great, Aggie, thank you."

Everyone began to clear out and Ari climbed out of bed. I marveled at the beautiful Adonis in front of me. I had forgotten just how absolutely gorgeous he really was. His pajama pants hung ever so lightly from his lean, muscular frame. His skin was the perfect shade of cream and his smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I thought back to our incredibly intimate embrace from the night before and blushed. He caught me staring and gave a laugh while he ran his long fingers through his thick, dark, unruly hair.

"What?" he asked with a smirk.

I shook my head, clearing my mind. "Nothing, I guess I just really missed you."

He pulled me out of the bed and into his arms.

"I missed you more. And I missed doing this." He kissed my freckle again. "And I missed doing this and this." Ari kissed the corners of my mouth. "I really missed doing this." He kissed me on the mouth, teasing my lips open. "I missed this," he kissed the spot behind my ear and then trailed kisses down my neck and collarbone. He picked up my hand and brought it up to his lips and kissed each finger then filled my palm with more kisses. He brought his lips back to my ear and whispered, "Where are those other two freckles, Ava?"

I smiled up at him.

"Come on, Aggie will kill us if we don't hurry and I'm starving."

I showered and decided on a dress I had bought in London but could never wear because the weather was always so cold and dreary. I paired it with some sling back wedges. I slipped on the ring that Ari had gotten me for Christmas, worried a bit because it didn't fit as well as it used to and kept sliding down my finger. I ventured out into the kitchen. There were people everywhere getting ready for Ari, Rory and Julia's graduation party. I received a million hugs and welcome homes. Andy gave me a sheepish smile and I walked over to him and threw my arms around his neck.

"I am so sorry for everything."

He smoothed my hair and hugged me back. "Ava, I have never been spoken to that way in all my life." I was sure he was telling me the absolute truth and I felt horrible.

"But everything you said was true," he continued. "We should have told you about Aggie, you are our family, you were right. I'll forgive you if you can forgive me." I squeezed him tighter. "Ava, we're just so happy to have you home." He kissed me on the top of my head and let me go.

I took a seat and began to eat some of Aggie's left-over roast from the night before; I hadn't eaten anything as good since Christmas. August sat down on the stool next to me at the island and marveled at me while I shoved another bite of bread into my mouth. He looked really great, wearing a nice button-down shirt and tie and dress pants.

"Hey there, you clean up nice," I said with a smile.

"Gee, thanks Avie," he said sarcastically as he smoothed his green jagged hair back in place.

There was something about him that was a little off.

"August, do you have a fat lip?"

He rubbed his fingers across his lips.

"Yeah, maybe a small one."

"What the heck happened?" I saw his eyes move through the kitchen at all the people.

"I'll tell you later, ok?" he said quickly and quietly out of the side of his mouth.

"OK....So are you alright with all of this?" I asked. "I know the Alexanders and their kin can be a bit overwhelming. I shouldn't have dragged you out here. I'm sorry; I had a major moment of weakness."

"No, this is great, I love it here actually. Julia and Rory are really nice. It is great to see them again."

"Ok, well I guess we'll get a flight out after the weekend, rent a new place in London - maybe."

Ari had snuck up behind me and had a very hurt look on his face. "What? You're leaving again?" he asked, sounding very upset.

_Oh no. Not this. Not now_. I just want to be happy for a few more minutes, please.

"Um, yeah, I have to, Ari; I am not done yet."

I could feel my heart begin to crumble; the look on Ari's face was one I had hoped never to see again. I should have never come back.

Ari began to raise his voice, which caught the attention of the entire house. "Well then why the hell does he get to go with you?" He jabbed his finger in the air toward August.

"Where else is he going to go, Ari? I blew up our entire building along with eighty percent of his belongings."

"You can't do this, Ava."

"What choice do I have?" I said, nearly screaming. "I can't just stay here while they pick you guys off one by one."

"Ava, quit worrying about that! No one is going to come for us and if they do, we'll stop it. Just like before."

"Just like before! What the hell, Ari! Lauren could have died. I killed two people on Dana Point beach. It cannot be just like before."

"Look at yourself, Ava; I can see your bones. Clearly, August isn't good for you. You belong here at home. None of us wants you to leave, so please, please stay."

Tears stung the backs of my eyes; August put his hand on my back trying to settle me down and Ari did not react well to that at all. "Do not ever touch her, do you understand? Don't touch her or I'll..."

August threw his palms out as a sign of peace. "Whoa, man, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."

Andy came to break up our public screaming match. "Hey guys, let's everybody calm down. We will get this all figured out. Let's just try to enjoy the weekend."

Andy pulled me in for a one-armed hug and I could feel the tears threatening to roll over the brim. I brushed past Ari and made my way to the bathroom so I could get myself together.

I stayed in there for a few minutes just trying to breathe. I heard a tiny rap at the door. I was expecting August, but found Ari instead. I opened the door up the rest of the way and allowed him to come in with me; he pulled me straight into his arms and held me tight.

"I am so sorry, Ava."

"I'm sorry, too. I don't want to leave you. I just can't think of any other way."

"Shhh," he said rocking me back and forth. "I don't want to talk about it now. I just want to hold you for as long as I can."

He locked his hands around the small of my back and the leftover frustration from our argument came out in a deep, desperate kiss. I knotted my fist around his tie and pulled him closer to me. Ari lifted me up onto the sink and I grabbed a handful of his hair. His hands ran up under my dress on my bare thigh and a small moan escaped from my lips, causing my cheeks to burn, and the butterflies in my stomach to erupt in an erratic flutter.

There was a quick knock at the door right before it came open. August stood there with an annoyed look on his face and hollered down the hall, "I found them...unfortunately." He turned his attention back to us. "Look, sorry to interrupt, but we have to go now, or you'll be late." He pointed at Ari and gave him a look of contempt.

Ari helped me down off the sink and wiped some lip-gloss off his bottom lip.

"Hey, August," he said before August could walk away. "I want to apologize for the way I acted back there and for last night. Any friend of Ava's is a friend of mine and I should not have spoken to you like that. It's just, Ava means the world to me and I get really crazy when it comes to her."

August smiled, "No worries, man. She gets the same way about you. And by the way I'm gay, so you don't have to worry about...you know, that," he said pointing, between him and me with a repulsed look on his face.

"Even better," Ari gave a relieved laugh and patted August on the back. I rolled my eyes at Ari and elbowed him in the ribs.

We arrived at the graduation ceremony without a moment to spare. I gave Ari a kiss and August and I found our seats with Ari's family. He delivered a brilliant speech. His words were poignant; his message was one of living honestly and loving fully, seizing the day and measuring success in one's love and family. He never took his eyes off me for a moment while he talked. I stared back at him in wonderment. Aggie elbowed me gently, smiled, then winked. Since half of the audience was related to the Alexanders in some way, the crowd erupted in cheers when Ari, Rory and Julia received their diplomas.

****

Aggie and Gianna had put together a wonderful party. The stone passageway that connected their back decks was lit by little party lights strung all through the trees on either side. Waiters served cocktails and hors d'oeuvres while people greeted one another and congratulated Ari, Rory and Julia. All of the people from the twelfth floor were there, along with half of the rest of the school. After an onslaught of questions hit me, full on, as to where I had been and what had happened on the beach on New Year's, I decided it was best to hang back with August at the bar. He kept me company for a while. Suddenly, after about an hour or so, I felt a cold, strong hand on my shoulder.

_Crap, it was Margaux_. "Hello, Margaux. What are you doing here?" Embarrassingly, my voice came out in a bit of a squeak.

"I might ask you the same question, Ava Dear," she purred in my ear, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.

"Didn't you hear? My place in London caught on fire."

"Oh, Ava," she smiled wickedly. "I know all about my building catching on fire."

"Oh, right... it was an accident?" I hedged.

She peered her beady black eyes at me. "Don't lie, Ava. It is very unbecoming of you. I know the fire wasn't an accident. You owe me, huge. However, I am glad to see you unharmed. Now answer me, what are you doing here?"

"Moment of weakness."

"I'd say so. If this is where you choose to be, then you are the one who has to pay for the consequences, not me. I was only trying to help you by keeping you in London, but it seems very clear to me that you and the Alexander boy can't stay away from one another. If I can be perfectly honest with you, Ava, Ari is a very bright man to choose to be with."

I was surprised that she even bothered to say that at all. "Besides," she continued, "in a week you will be free to do whatever you wish so take this time and try to enjoy it. I know you have been through so much," she concluded in an oily voice.

" _That's right, I'll be eighteen in a week and I won't ever have to talk to you again; that alone will be reason enough to celebrate,"_ my inner voice responded.

Margaux continued to hang around me for a few more moments, trying without much success to be nice, then excused herself, having completely ignored August the entire time. I am pretty positive he was relieved when she finally left. I still wasn't entirely sure why she had even been there or what her message to me had actually been. I knew that she and Andy had the foundation together, but I had never thought of her as the graduation party type.

Ari stole me away from August after he greeted all of the partygoers. He held me in his arms and we swayed back and forth to the soft croons of Jim James playing in the background.

"Last night was fun," he whispered in my ear. I felt the butterflies in my stomach twirl around in a crazy, frantic flight.

"Last night was more than fun," I whispered back, playing along with his quiet game. Ari's eyes shot open and a sly smile snuck onto his face.

"What was your favorite part?"

Oh, the things Ari does to me with his words.

"My favorite part was when you touched me."

"I am afraid you are going to have to be more specific, Ava. If I remember correctly, I believe I touched you several places. Was it when I touched you here?" He gently traced his fingers across my face. I shook my head no and Ari's smile grew brighter. "Well, was it when I touched you here?" His fingers left my face and trickled down my neck to my collarbone. I shook my head no again and Ari's smile got brighter. "What about when I touched you here?" He moved his fingers with a deliberate slowness down my chest and finally paused for a moment right below my tummy where the butterflies danced. My eyes shot up into his dark and lidded gaze and I nodded a small yes. Ari moved his hand around my back and we continued to sway with the music.

"I liked that, too, but my favorite part was when you asked me not to stop."

I closed my eyes. My breath hitched in my throat. My body ignited with desire. Ari rocked us gently back and forth to the music and held me tightly to him. His mouth was on my ear.

"I wanted to do things to you that would make you blush for a week. I didn't ever want to stop. But if I remember correctly, you seemed relieved when I did stop. I told you I would wait forever, Ava, and I meant it. It seems to me that maybe you don't want to wait forever. I think that maybe you and I should have a talk about sex. I will do anything you want. I will wait for six months, a year, five – it doesn't matter, but I will not let things between us get carried away and sneak up on us and just happen one night. I want you to tell me what it is you want, Ava."

I swallowed hard. "Can I think about it for a while?"

"Take as long as you'd like, but I will not touch you like that again until you have set some boundaries."

Andy walked up and handed Ari two drinks. "I think maybe you two should cool down."

I looked at him puzzled. We had only been dancing; our words were no louder than a small whisper into each other's ears. There was no way anyone could overhear our conversation. Ari smiled coolly at his father, took the drinks and set them on the table. He took my hand and led me into the house. We walked back to the bedroom. He kept his bedroom light off so no one could see us through his giant floor to ceiling wall of a window. He disappeared into his closet.

"Come with me to the beach?"

He held up my bikini, the one I received from Julia the past Christmas.

"I won't let anything happen to you. You don't even have to get wet. Just please come with me."

"Ari, you have a house full of people who are here to see you."

"I see these people every day. I went to school with them for four years, lived by them and sat by them in class. It is you I want to see, not them; these last six months have been hell and all I want to do is be alone with you."

I agreed and we snuck out through the front door and cut through his neighbor's yard onto their beach area.

"Are you sure they won't mind us out here?" I asked.

The home was magnificent and the house was situated in such a way that they basically had their own private strip of beach. He walked me through their sandy back yard and I felt as though we were going to get in trouble.

Ari laughed at me. "You're afraid of a little trespassing?"

"I don't know these people and I don't want them to get mad at us for being on their beach."

"Don't worry. They aren't home," he said very confidently. I didn't argue with him and concentrated on keeping up. I followed him out onto the beach and stopped. Ari turned around once he realized I wasn't following him any longer.

"I promise, Ava, nothing will happen to you. It'll be fine. Just come on."

I let him take my hand as he slowly walked closer to the crashing waves. He sat down with me in the sand and wrapped his arm around my body. The warm water rushed up to our bare feet and I let out a little gasp.

"This is as far as we will go. Nothing can hurt you here," he said. We stared out at the star-filled sky and I took a deep breath, my head resting on Ari's shoulder. We sat quietly, listening to the waves rush in and then trickle back towards sea.

"So what's next, Ari, are you going to school somewhere?" Ari is brilliant and I was positive he could get into any school anywhere. He would move on and meet someone he could be happy with, a girl that wouldn't bring the constant threat of death and danger every time she was near him.

He wrapped his arm tighter around my body.

"I don't know yet. I am weighing a few options right now. I'm not really sure what my decision is going to be."

"Ok, so what are your options? Maybe I can help," I offered.

He let out a cheek-filled breath and rubbed the stubble on his sun-bronzed face.

"Well, I have been accepted into a handful of schools across the country, but I was just planning on going to Pepperdine, until Margaux called me."

"Margaux? You mean my Margaux? Why would she call you?"

"She is looking for someone to handle the business side of her company and she wants to keep _baio_ in her family, so she was thinking of handing it over to you."

"Great," I said sarcastically. "That is probably the last thing I am interested in."

"She knows you feel that way, so she offered the job to me instead. She and my dad have a long-standing professional relationship and if she can't keep _baio_ in her family, she would like to involve mine."

Ari looked at me with a worried expression. "I can't help but feel as though I am taking an opportunity away from you, betraying you, Ava, and if you don't want me involved in your company, your family's company, then I understand."

"I have nothing to do with _baio_. It is nothing but a last name to me. If that is what you want to do then do it. Don't let me hold you back."

Ari let out another breath. "OK... well Margaux wants me to start this fall while I take classes. She doesn't care which office I work out of, so I've narrowed my choices down to schools in California, Chicago, New York and London."

"So which are you thinking of choosing?"

"Umm... I guess I'm just waiting to see where you land before I commit to anything."

"Oh," I said, "so what does that mean exactly?"

"Listen, Ava, I want to be with you. You make me happy. I know there are some obstacles in the way but I just don't see any future for me without you in it. I am not going to let you out of my sight while you are being hunted. I am going with you. From now on, we are going to be together. I have explained all of this to Margaux and she understands that you are going to be in my life and I in yours."

"Ari, I just don't think it will be that easy."

"Yes, it will, Ava."

"I don't even know where No. 6 is. I have no idea how to find him. I have tried to see his plans, but he is blocking me in some way. I have no idea of where to go or when to go. I'm scared, Ari, and my biggest fear is that something might happen to you."

"I can help you if you'll just let me. No one said you have to deal with the Kakos on your own, and besides, I'll be a way better roommate than August."

"Well, that is true," I smiled. "But let's just say you're right and that we should take care of No. 6 together. What do you have in mind?"

He thought for a moment.

"If you don't know where this guy is, then you should use that to your advantage. Don't let him know where you are. Stay ahead of him for a while. Let's travel across the country or backpack through Europe or hide out on the gulf. Let's just take the summer and run away for a while. We can come back here, to California, this fall and worry about him then."

"Ari... I don't know."

"Come on, Ava, you don't have a better plan . . . just try it with me."

"Ok," I said, "I will; let's do it."

I couldn't bear the idea of leaving him again. Every time the thought crept into my mind, I felt pain in my heart and so I was selfish. I wanted Ari so much that I agreed to put his life at risk for my happiness.

A huge, beautiful smile spread across his face and he grabbed me and pulled me down with him on to the sandy beach. The dark blue water lapped at our legs.

"I love you, Ava. Wherever you are is where I want to be." He kissed me. Our kiss was long, slow, and sweet. I wanted it to never end.

Eventually, we made our way up the beach to the Alexander's deck. The party had died down and all the remaining guests and family members were now inside the house. Ari grabbed a light blanket and we nestled up on the deck, in the hammock and fell asleep; both of our bodies were caked in sand.

### Chapter 21

### Intense

I woke at dawn, blinking my eyes and yawning. I was stiff and could feel the hard rope material of the hammock pushing firmly into my skin. Ari was still deeply asleep. I noticed Rory, across the yard, on the deck behind his house. Julia was wrapped up in his arms and he was covering her in kisses while she smiled and giggled at his affection. I quickly looked away to give them privacy.

A minute later, they took off for a run. That's when my own personal truth really dawned on me. Ari was right. I did need his help. I couldn't keep my life teetering on the delicate point of balance I had created any longer. I was miserable in London without Ari. But I had to learn to keep the proper distance between him and my problem with the Kakos family, or what was left of it. I also had to work on keeping my mind clear and sharp when Ari was near me. When I was with him, he was my whole world. I am positive that Margaux had been right – if I hadn't been so pre-occupied with Ari, the Kakos would never have gotten to Lauren in the first place.

I was running these thoughts through my mind when August walked out onto the deck, holding a cup of coffee and the paper in his hands. I spoke up so that he would be aware he wasn't alone.

"Morning, August," I said quietly – and he jumped about ten feet in the air anyway.

" _Oh, merde, mon Dieu, Ava!!_ You scared me. I didn't know you two were out here; I didn't mean to interrupt," he said as he turned around to head back inside the house.

"No stop, you aren't interrupting anything. First of all, Ari is asleep and secondly, what you are seeing here is not a compromising situation, it's just what hammocks do to people."

"Oh, really?" He gave me a smug little stare. "You could have fooled me. Look at yourself. You're in a bikini at six in the morning, you're covered in sand, and don't even get me started on your hair."

I took my hair and threw it in a messy bun at the nape of my neck.

"No reason to get nasty," I snapped as I made my way off the hammock to join August at the wrap-around couch by the outside fireplace.

"Ok fine, so dish," he said, "what did you do last night?"

"Nothing," I shrugged, "we just went to the beach for a while and then came up here and fell asleep on the hammock. It was completely innocent."

"Whatever, Ava," August said as he rolled his eyes at me. "I thought we were friends; you don't have to lie to me."

"What is that supposed to mean? I'm not lying. Our relationship just isn't like _that_ yet."

August let out a great big laugh and I had to turn around to make sure he hadn't awakened Ari.

"What?!" August managed to choke out, "Let me get this straight. You have killed five people, your arms are covered in bullet-hole wounds and tattoos, you sleep in this guy's room when you're in town and you haven't even gone to third base yet? What's the hold-up?"

"I don't know," I said biting my lip.

"Ava, you can tell me, I promise I won't tease you anymore," August said, and wiped the little smirk from his face. He underlined his good intentions by straightening up in his chair and giving me his full attention.

I paused for a moment, playing with the fabric of my seat.

"Uh, ummm...I mean...I know Ari loves me. But he said he would wait and he is being really patient with me. It's just... I don't know...well actually there are lots of reasons. Things just seem to always get in the way."

"Like?"

"Well, for starters, I don't want my first time to be at his parent's house; that's just creepy. And I know this may sound dumb, but I am only seventeen. I have my whole life to make it perfect and I don't want to rush our relationship. Plus, he has more experience than I do. I guess I'm worried I'll do something embarrassing. . .and well, the truth is, I'm scared."

"Ava," August began, "I am not trying to sway you one way or the other, so please don't take this the wrong way. You are the smartest and most mature person I have met. I totally get everything you are saying, but don't stress about this. Sex is supposed to be a fun thing, and no matter where you are in life, as long as you truly love him, I think your first time will be special."

He went on, "Clearly, what you and Ari have is more than just 'a relationship.' I mean, I knew when we were in London that you were nuts about the guy, but I had no idea your relationship was so intense. Your little embrace last night had all of the guests gaping at you in awe. Seriously, Ava, you could hear a pin drop; people just couldn't take their eyes away from your show of love for each other. You have some strong chemistry or something. Your love... it's just, it's so powerful. The way you two look at each other. It's almost as if there is no one else in your universe. I have never seen anything like it before; frankly, I'm jealous."

I blushed.

"You should have seen Ari when he got home and found out you were here. Ava, he nearly killed me."

"What? No way. . .what happened?"

August rubbed what remained of his fat lip.

"He came home from class and I was in the kitchen with Lauren, Rory and Julia. You wouldn't wake up and Aggie and Andy went to check on you for the hundredth time. They really wanted you to wake up and surprise him. Ari was just staring at me and no one wanted to talk because we were all so afraid we would ruin the surprise. Ari demanded to know who I was so finally Rory introduced us."

"Oh, boy."

"Yeah, I didn't realize how badly Rory could botch up an introduction. 'Uh, hey Ari,' August said, impersonating Rory, 'This is August, Ava's boyfriend. . . um, I mean, roommate.'"

"Ari put his fists up and his eyes I swear turned red. Rory tried to hurry up and correct himself, but it was pointless: 'I meant flatmate. . .and now Ava's unconscious and we can't get her to wake up.' Then he told Ari how everyone saw you in your underwear. I swear Ava, Rory can be a complete fool. Ari yelled and ran at him, then punched him and gave him that black eye.

"It was like out of a movie. Aggie and Andy came running back into the kitchen and Julia started screaming. I tried to stop Ari from punching Rory again, so he turned and hit me instead – hence the fat lip. Aggie told me later that Rory and Ari hadn't spoken to each other since Ari found out that Rory and Julia visited you in London. Ari is super mad at the both of them for visiting you without telling him.

"Anyway, Aggie calmed Ari down and explained the situation to him. As soon as she finished, he left the kitchen to find you and refused to leave your side until you woke up. He wasn't lying when he said that he was crazy about you. He is beyond crazy, Ava. You are his soul mate."

August stopped to catch his breath, then added, "Nevertheless, you'd better figure this whole sex thing out because I don't want to spend another six months with you, listening to how you wish you had."

"Oh, uh... that reminds me. Ari is coming with us this time, so if you have something else in your life that you would rather be doing than babysitting, this will be your big chance."

"Oh, my gosh, Ava, are you firing me as a friend?"

"What? No way... it's just, you must be pretty sick of me by now."

"Ha! Hardly! There's never a dull moment around you, what with fire and poison and killing and such. So what is the plan, anyway?"

"I don't know exactly. I think maybe we're going to try to hide out for a while. I could use a break. If we can get a glimpse of what No. 6 is planning, we might be able to stay ahead of him. Honestly, it's all I can think of to do right now. I could really use a murder-free summer."

Rory and Julia, back from their run, came up the steps to the deck.

"What are you two going on about?" Rory puffed, breathless. I recapped the conversation Ari and I had had the night before and, surprisingly, they both agreed that Ari and I should remain together. More than that, they both wanted to come along. Since Julia and Rory's college semester didn't start until mid-August, their summer was wide open. I tried with little success to imagine the five of us in one flat.

"You guys can be the ones to talk to Ari about it; I've got to get into the shower; this sand is killing me." Normally, I would have gone running to get my thoughts in order about leaving with Ari, but I had decided to put running on the shelf for a few weeks, at least until I was able to put some of my weight back on. Besides, I was exhausted; all those months of sleepless nights in London were finally catching up with me.

The shower, turned on as hot as I could stand, took all the sand and grime from my skin. The strong spray was so revitalizing that I had to force myself to climb out and dry off. I used Ari's robe to get down the hall to his room.

I dressed then tucked my feet underneath me in the chair in Ari's room, and opened up my MacBook. I had to figure out exactly where we needed to go. I knew right away that Europe was out of the question. I had spent too much time there already, and after my romp in the sand the night before, I wasn't going anywhere near the gulf. There was no way I could handle a road trip, especially if Rory and Julia got their way and tagged along with us. I sat and tapped my fingers on my lips, thinking of somewhere I could go that would be hidden away, somewhere private and unassuming. I found myself wishing I still had my place in Chicago; it would be the perfect place for all of us to stay together, and a place where I could easily blend in with the masses. Margaux, of course, had sold my home three days after my mother passed away to a colleague of hers who worked for the Chicago _baio_ office.

That's when I remembered my mother's note about our home in Montréal. After she died, I went to her bank and found that she had left all of her assets to me. I needed to get all my affairs in order before my move to California. I was left with several trust funds from both my mother's and father's estates, some to pay to me at eighteen and then some at twenty-one. My mom had also already set me up with a college fund that would pay for any private university of my choosing. I remember sitting in the cold bank office off State Street wishing I could give every last cent away for one more moment with my mom.

I also inherited my mother's jewelry and the home that she and I had lived in back in Montréal. She left me a note and the keys and directed me to keep my owning the home private and not to share the information with Margaux. Not only did I not share the information, I nearly forgot about the home myself.

I rummaged around, found my safety deposit box keys and tossed them into my purse. My earliest instinct upon reaching Dana Point months ago had been to put fast cash, the house keys and the jewelry left to me by my mother in a place where Margaux could not touch them.

In my suitcase, I found the papers my mother had left for me. They had spent a very long time literally untouched in the bottom of my luggage bag. Now I shuffled through them until I found the sheet with the Montréal house information on it, typed up an email to the caretaker explaining that I would be staying for the summer, and asked that the home please be ready for my arrival. I got a very quick response from him saying that the home would be ready in a week and if I had any special request to let him know. I sent him another email requesting a fully stocked kitchen for five and to have the piano tuned. Then I began to check possible flights.

Lauren crept in while I was checking out prices and snuggled up next to me on the chair.

"Hey, Ava, what are you doing?"

"I'm just checking out flight information," I answered honestly, knowing that telling her our plans would be easier now than it would be later.

"Don't leave again," she sighed.

"I have to, Lauren; I'm really sorry. But it will be different this time. You'll be able to call me whenever you want and I promise I will always answer."

"Ok," she said in a depressed little voice. I realized suddenly how little time I had spent hanging out with her since I had been back. Peeling myself away from Ari had just been so difficult.

"So what are you doing today?"

"Nothing," she sighed again and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Good, so you won't mind going with me? I have to go to town to pick something up. We can go shopping afterwards. . ."

Lauren let out a great big squeal and threw her arms around me.

She went to find her shoes while I tracked down Ari. He was still on the hammock, but he was awake at least, talking with August. I let him know I was taking Lauren shopping and he kissed me on the cheek. I invited them to join us, knowing that Lauren would not care, but they passed on that idea. Ari said that they had something going on and would meet us in town for dinner. I gave him a perplexed look. Just the other day, he and August had seemed to hate each other and now they are making plans to hang out together. I shrugged and turned to leave. I realized I had no clue where my car was, or my keys for that matter.

"Uhh, Ari, where are my keys?" I asked, turning back around to look at him.

He sat up straighter in the hammock and rubbed at the stubble on his face.

"Sorry, Baby, but umm, Margaux came here a few days ago pissed as all get out. She said you had set her London property on fire and she was pretty furious about it. She had one of her henchmen collect your Mercedes."

I stared at him in disbelief and he laughed at me.

"I'm sure she'll get over it. You can take my car – keys are in the little glass bowl on the counter."

"K, thanks Ari."

"Sure, Baby. I love you. Please be safe."

I blushed and Lauren and August both groaned in annoyance.

Lauren and I went to the bank first and she came in with me. I dug the keys to the safety deposit box from the depths of my purse and, with Lauren in tow, followed the receptionist back into the vault. Lauren's eyes got big when she saw the spare cash and the pile of jewelry. I grabbed the house keys and shoved them in my bag. She strummed her fingers through the shiny pieces that once belonged to my mom.

She picked up a bracelet that haunts my sleep at night, the one my mom had worn on the day she died. I remembered hearing the wailing sirens of the ambulances, fire trucks and police cars, I ran out of my home and down to the street corner where I knew the accident had occurred. The paramedics allowed me to ride in the back with my mother, knowing that we would not have much more time left together.

A paramedic pronounced her death and I screamed at him, my eyes were blurry with unrelenting tears. I called him a liar. I screamed until my throat was raw. They had to pull me out of the ambulance once we arrived at the hospital. I was allowed to see my mother one last time before her funeral. I walked in to a quiet room by the morgue. She was still wearing a diamond-studded bracelet that she had bought for the evening of the fundraiser. I had gone with her the day before and helped her pick out the jewelry myself. I took the bracelet from her wrist and held it in my palm for days after her death.

I wanted nothing to do with it.

"You take this, Lauren."

"No way, Ava. I could never take that."

"Of course you can. It's mine and I want you to have it. I will never wear it, Lauren. You will get far more use out of it than I would."

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitating.

"It's either that, or I'll just end up giving it to Julia."

"I'll take it!" Lauren said quickly, and I grabbed some of the money to take with us shopping.

While I was away in London, Margaux had gone to court on my behalf to lodge a suit in the matter of my mother's death. She had sued both the City of Chicago and Dr. Spruce's insurance company. Had I been home, I would have protested. I didn't need any more reminders of that horrible day.

Successful in the suit, Margaux had opened another trust in my name and put the money in there. She said it was an undisclosed settlement but that I would be set for life. She sounded proud of herself, but in my heart, I knew I would give every dime of that money away for one more day, one more hour or even one more minute with my mom.

Lauren and I spent most of the afternoon in dressing rooms. I bought her three swimsuits and enough flip-flops to choke a horse. I got myself a few bikinis, too, even though I wasn't planning on getting in the water. They came in handy for lying out in the sun when the guys were surfing or playing around in the pool.

After we went to all of our favorite stores, we decided to get pedicures, and then, properly primped and dressed, we met Ari and August at The Yacht Club for dinner. Ari pulled up in his mom's white Audi convertible and had August, with his green-streaked hank of hair, sitting shotgun next to him. They made a very odd-looking pair and watching them as we all walked in together made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" Ari asked with a puzzled looked on his face as he kissed me on the cheek.

"Was I laughing? I guess I'm just happy to see you. . . did you have a fun day with August?"

"Yeah, sure," he shrugged and we found our table.

We all sat down to dinner together at a quiet table in the back.

"So, what did you two do today?" Ari asked Lauren.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Nothing, we just went shopping." Lauren reached her hand across the table for her water glass and Ari grabbed onto her wrist.

"Tell me you did not let Ava buy that, Lauren."

"Ouch, Ari, stop! She didn't buy it for me exactly."

Ari turned his glare towards me waiting for a better explanation.

"It was mine; I gave it to her earlier today."

"You don't just give fifteen-year-old girls diamond bracelets, Ava."

"Sure you do, Ari. And I don't want it."

"Give it back to her, Lauren," he spoke in a fatherly tone.

Lauren put on a pout face and started to unclasp the bracelet.

"Ari, stop," I said, "don't make her do that. I want her to have it. I honestly don't want it anymore."

"Fine. But Lauren, Aggie is going to kill you for accepting a gift like that."

"At least I'll die in style," she said, laughing. Ari shook his head at me and let the conversation drop.

We ate a meal, I think – but truly, I don't remember a bit of it. I was exhausted; I had worn myself to near extinction in London and after sleeping on a hammock the night before and shopping all day, I felt as though I might fall asleep at the table. After we finished, August and Lauren announced that they wanted to stay at the harbor for a summer festival. Ari could tell I didn't have the energy to go and he offered to stay with them, leaving me free to go home.

I happily drove Aggie's car back fast. I stopped to talk to Aggie and Andy for a bit, then excused myself and crawled into Ari's bed.

Oh, sheets and blankets and pillows, how I've missed you.

I turned on Ari's TV and found the Cubs game, but didn't even last through the first inning.

I woke up when Ari walked into the room. The game was in the bottom of the ninth, Cubs down by seven. I groaned and turned the TV off and, in a moment of crabbiness, tossed the remote across the room.

"What was that for?" Ari said while he peeled his shirt off and dodged the remote simultaneously.

"Stupid Cubs game," I grumbled as I made room for him to join me on my pillow.

He curled his body around mine and petted my hair while I fell back asleep.

****

When I woke up the next day, it was nearly noon. I rubbed my eyes as they adjusted to the bright California sun coming in through Ari's window. It was a beautiful day. Ari was nowhere in sight but I couldn't blame him for getting on with his day without me. I climbed out of bed and stumbled my way into the kitchen. August and the family, Ari included, were all in there, but no one noticed me come into the room. They were all caught up in a conversation about something and I was too sleepy for any of their words to be coherent. I yanked a spoon out of the drawer and shoved it into some creamy peanut butter. I flipped the spoon into my mouth and turned around, they had stopped talking and everyone was staring at me.

"What?" I mumbled, taking the spoon out of my mouth. "I'm hungry; haven't you guys ever seen anyone eat peanut butter before?"

"How long have you been up, Ava?" Aggie asked me, tilting her head to the side. Her tone was one that someone might use when speaking with a toddler.

"I dunno. . .thirty seconds maybe. Why? What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. . .we just didn't see you come in, that's all." Her patient tone remained.

I finished my peanut butter and put the spoon in the dishwasher.

"Ok, well here I am. I'm going to sit at the piano now and then I am going to take a shower, just so you know." I said, mocking Aggie's tone but adding my own attitude. I walked past them towards the living room.

"You sure about this, Ari?" August said in a whisper and everyone burst into laughter.

Once my attitude ebbed, I found everyone had relocated to the pool so I took up residence on a deck chair and worked on my tan for the rest of the afternoon.

Ari had _The Beastie Boys_ playing through the speakers, and after winning a round of pool volleyball, he dried off and stretched out in the chair next to me.

"So have you decided where we're headed yet?"

"Yeah, I think I have," I answered, nodding my head.

"Are you comfortable with August, Rory and Julia coming along?"

"Sure, I don't think I have a choice; they decided everything without me yesterday."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." I said with a smile. "Well, I still have my home in Montréal. I sent an email to the caretaker yesterday and he is going to have it ready by Monday."

"Canada?"

"Mmm hmm. It'll be nice, and quiet. It has three bedrooms and it's really close to downtown. You'll love it, I promise."

Ari took my hand, "I'd love anywhere as long as you were there with me, but Rory is going to be so disappointed. I think he has his heart set on someplace warm and sunny."

"Ha!" I laughed looking around, "Tell him to stay home then."

"Yeah, no joke," Ari gave a smile. "So when do we leave?"

"Well, I guess we can fly out on Sunday. I'll book the flight tonight."

"Ok," he agreed. "When were you going to tell me you owned a three-bedroom home in Montréal?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Actually, I had kind of forgotten I had it. Margaux doesn't even know about it, so don't tell her where we are going. My mother had left some documents to be disclosed to me when she passed away. In her notes, she told me not to mention the house, so I never did. I am going to sell it this fall when we leave. I don't have any use for it anymore, I guess."

"Am I going to have to learn French?"

"You should learn French! But no, you'll be ok as long as you take me or August everywhere you go."

"August, yay," Ari said sarcastically and I laughed.

"What's wrong with August?"

"Nothing, I'm joking. August is a pretty nice guy really."

"Yeah, he is. Look Ari, I know you are unhappy with the fact that we lived in the same flat together and I totally get that. I would probably go ape shit if I heard you were living with some girl. I should have told you about the arrangement, but August saved my sanity along with my life. He's a good guy and he's a terrific friend. I can't just walk away from that now."

Ari began stroking the tally marks on my left wrist. "You don't have anything to apologize for; I just wish I could have been the one that was there for you."

I looked down at my wrist remembering all of the horrible things I had done. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?"

I shook my head no. I took my wrist out of his hands and covered my tattoos up with my other hand. "I can't tell you what I did, Ari; I'm sorry."

I had never told Ari any details of what had happened that night on the beach with Kakos No. 1 and No. 2. The only story he knew is what was on the news -- and that had been all wrong. I did horrible things and I have had to relive them every night in my dreams. There was not a night that went by that I didn't see No. 5's skin melt from his face, or feel No. 3's blood running down my hands as I sliced his thick neck open. There was no way I would allow Ari to be haunted with these images.

"I love you, Ari, but there are just some things I can't talk about."

He kissed me tenderly, "I understand, but if you ever need to talk, I want you to know that I will always be here."

"I know."

He paused for a moment and stared straight at my toe. Ari's mouth turned into a little 'O.'

"What?" I asked with a giggle.

"Is that what I think it is?"

I looked down at my foot and wiggled my toes. Ari had finally found my second freckle – took him long enough. He pulled my leg up onto his lap and kissed the little freckle. Then to my surprise, he slid my little toe into his mouth. My body has never reacted so immediately to any touch like that ever before. My back arched and my body squirmed. I let out a loud giggle. I could feel his touch throughout my whole body.

"Hey! Hey!!"

I kept giggling and squirming and Ari refused to stop. Neither of us was paying attention to Andy and Aggie as they hollered at us.

"Hey, you two -- stop it!" But Ari kept on until suddenly we were hit with what felt like a bucketful of water. Cold water.

"Lauren is down here! Let's have a little decorum." Andy scolded us.

Aggie climbed out of the pool, grabbed a towel, and sat next to Ari. Apparently, she felt as though we were in need of a chaperone.

"What has gotten into you?" she demanded of her son.

"I've been hunting for that little thing down there on Ava's toe," and he pointed to the freckle, "for nine months. I finally found it and I was celebrating."

"Well, congratulations, Ari," Aggie said and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, don't congratulate me just yet. I'm not finished. If my memory serves me correctly, there is still one more freckle out there."

Aggie tilted her head back and laughed.

"Ari, she is in the tiniest bikini ever. If you can't see the freckle right now, you're going to have to take her inside and look for it behind closed doors."

He groaned and leaned back in his chair. "Not today, Mom."

I shot them both a dirty look and wrapped a humongous towel around my body. My bikini wasn't that small.

Once everyone cleared out of the pool, we sat on the deck and watched Andy cook on the grill. I told Julia, Rory and August that we were leaving on Sunday. Ari was right; Rory was disappointed when he found out that we were going to Canada. I tried to convince him to stay home but he refused. August, on the other hand, was very excited to be returning to a French speaking country. We sat out on the patio and ate together -- Ari, Andy, Aggie, Lauren, August, Rory, Julia, Nick, Gianna, and Thais. My family, the people I love the most in the world.

### Chapter 22

### Amazing, Breathtaking, Awe inspiring

The rest of the week was nice and peaceful; I kept the Cubs series off and spent a lot more time by the pool, soaking up the sun. I also spent a lot more time snuggled up with Ari in his marvelous, too-big and oh-so-fluffy bed. My birthday was on Saturday, the day before we were flying out to Quebec. I told Ari over and over again not to do anything for it. I hate attention – it makes me feel so uncomfortable – but he said he couldn't make any promises.

When I woke up Saturday morning, I was cradled in Ari's arms in a knotted mess of blankets, pillows, and skin. He was still asleep, so I nuzzled in deeper, breathing in his alluring scent. If staying there with him were all I did for the day, my birthday would be perfect.

"Morning, Ava Baby," Ari said in a sleepy voice, "and happy birthday."

"Mmm."

"What do you want to do today?"

"This."

He somehow pulled me even closer to him and I felt my nerves go on edge with anticipation and my stomach did a little flip.

"That might be a little dangerous," he answered, "but I am more than willing to give it a try." Then he hopped out of bed and walked across his room.

"Where are you going?" I asked with a pout, upset that he had left my side. He smiled at me and locked his bedroom door then jumped back in bed. He softly ran his fingers up the inside of my arm then traced lightly on my face.

"I love you, Ava."

"I love you."

"Promise me you won't ever leave me again."

"I promise. Never again."

"I never want to feel the way I felt when you left me."

I pulled my hand up to his face and touched the stubble on his cheeks then brushed my fingers across his soft pink lips.

"Ari, I am sorry I hurt you, but I felt I had to do it. I can't help who I am. I have been left with a burden and it is mine to bare, not yours. I felt you would have a much happier life without me, and if I were a stronger person, I would leave for good and you would never see me again. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did. The pain I felt was beyond anything I have ever experienced. But I am human and therefore selfish, so I will stay by your side until you see me for what I am and finally push me away."

He answered, "Not gonna happen, Ava; I want you forever." Then he pulled me on top of him and kissed me while his hands slowly ran up my legs. He sat up and wrapped my legs around him moving his hands up my back, under my tank top. I kissed him more deeply and my fingernails dug into his bare back. Our breathing turned heavy.

"Oh, Ava, the things you do to me," Ari moaned in my ear.

Oh, my God I want this.

My mind began to become seriously clouded but I didn't stop, I only kissed him with more desire as the need overcame me. He pushed me back with gentle force and my head landed ever so lightly on his pillow. He climbed on top of me, his hands now on my thighs, his fingers nearing the lace on my underwear. My body quivered. I wanted him so badly I did not think I could stop. My breathing turned ragged and my pulse quickened. Ari ran his fingers higher up my legs in a slow tortuous way. He kissed every inch of my body and each touch brought on a new sensation. My skin tingled with pleasure.

Ari stopped and looked up at me. "Ava, have you thought any more about what I said the other night about you and me and this?"

I shook my head no and sighed. Ari quickly took his hands off my thigh and moved to neutral territory.

"Ari," I said, shifting to face him, "I want to, I really want to, it's just... I don't want my first time to be anticlimactic."

A smile spread across his face. "Believe me Ava, it won't be."

I threw a pillow at him and batted my lashes.

"I didn't mean like that. I meant once the moment is over, I don't want to walk out in the hall and see your mom at the kitchen table. I want it to be something that when the moment's done, I don't have to come back down to reality for a while... or ever."

"That's a good start. Think about what you want, Ava, think about where and when, too – here, Canada, Mexico, eighteen, twenty, twenty-five. Let me know and I will make it happen."

"So you want me to say... August fourth at ten o'clock?" I laughed pulling a random date out of my head.

"Yes, if that's what you want. Ava, I love you. I would do anything for you."

My cheeks turned red hot and I'm sure bright red with embarrassment. I was not used to being so candid about sex. I had never spoken about it to anyone besides my mom. I even faked being sick in the sixth grade so I wouldn't have to attend that embarrassing sex talk in school – the one where they pass out deodorant and maxi pads. Or so I was told by my friends who actually showed up to find out. Just the thought of that talk made me want to run for the hills.

I was lucky to have had a mom who saw me through some of life's issues. She approached everything from a physician's perspective and had excellent bedside manner. When I was younger and my anxiety really started kicking in, my period became irregular. Mom took me to a doctor, who put me on the pill straight away, to help my cycle. I was mortified by the entire experience. I wanted to bury myself in a hole. My mom pulled me out of my room with a giggle and said, "C'est la vie, Ava." "That's life" – her motto for everything. She gave me "the talk," and I remember feeling so embarrassed.

"Ava, that's life. There is nothing in which to be embarrassed. One day you'll have a conversation kind of like this one with a boy, you know." She even winked at me.

I rolled my eyes at her and said, "So gross, Mom, no I won't." She laughed at me and brought me a cup of hot tea. She had such an uncanny ability to be right about everything.

"What's the matter?" Ari was looking at me with a puzzled expression while tracing his fingertips over the tops of my cheeks.

I looked up at him from under my lashes. "This. This whole conversation is hard for me. I don't know how to process it. You talk about sex as if you are making a date to get coffee."

"I am making a date to share my love with you, Ava. I am not trying to be cavalier. If I'm candid, it's because that's how I was raised," Ari rubbed his fingertips over the stubble on his tan cheeks. "My parents, and the rest of my family for that matter, are very open with each other about all matters. We don't get embarrassed. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just don't want you to regret me."

I let out a breath and promised again to think things over. Ari had mentioned boundaries before and I finally saw that he was right. As embarrassing as these conversations might be, I would be wise to make some better ground rules for myself and for him, especially since we were once again sleeping in the same bed and were planning to travel together.

We talked more about our relationship and Ari actually made our conversation kind of fun. Sure, I blushed a lot and I learned a lot, but I also giggled uncontrollably at some of his comments. By the time we nailed down the details of what I'm comfortable or uncomfortable with, I felt more confident and less shy with him – and that was a nice feeling.

Ari owned all nineteen episodes of _My So-Called Life_ on DVD. After our lengthy talk, he put the first disc on while we packed our bags for a long summer's stay in Canada.

"Just so you know," Ari said, interrupting Claire on the TV, "my family is going to want to see you at some point today, and my mom wants to have dinner."

I zipped up my bag and climbed to my knees.

"In that case I had better get in the shower."

"You want company?" he asked with a sly smile on his face. I knew he was joking after the long conversation we had just had – that was a definite no. But still, a part of me, a very large part of me, actually, wanted to tell him "yes."

"I always want your company, but I can't invite you along."

"Why's that?"

"Well," I leaned in close to him, my mouth on his ear, "I have never told anyone this before, but I shower in the nude."

Ari faked astonishment.

"How very brazen of you, Ava."

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

****

That evening, we all sat down at the large table for dinner. Usually the dinner conversation is nonstop and there is normally more than one discussion being held at once, but tonight Andrew commanded the room. He began talking to me and everyone was interested in what I had to say.

"So Ava, where do you see yourself when the situation with the Kakos is all over?"

"Uh, I don't know exactly," I said and then paused. "I guess I haven't given much thought to future plans. I mean, I was accepted at some schools in Chicago but I don't think I want to go to any of them anymore. I don't really have anyone left there to go back to."

Andy nodded his head.

"So do you think you'll be staying in Canada then? Or do you think you might come back to California?"

"Well, I've already asked the caretaker of the Montréal house to list it for sale this fall. I don't want to live up there. I would rather take that money and invest it in something else."

He nodded again. "You may come back to California, then?"

"Actually, yes. I guess I am planning to come back to California with Ari. I mean if this is where he is going to be, then it's where I want to be, too, as long as he wants me." I squirmed in my seat and blushed at my own comment, but everyone, including August, seemed to let out a sigh. I looked down the table with a puzzled expression, but when I got no explanation for the obvious relief, I just shrugged it off. Ari smiled at me and kissed my temple, causing me to blush again.

Andy started up once more with the questions.

"Are you thinking about going to college here, then?"

"Probably. I did get in to Pepperdine, so I may just go there this winter."

"What do you think you will study there?"

"I haven't the foggiest. What's with all the questions, Andy?"

"Well, Ava, since your grandfather passed away last summer, I have been very busy at the foundation. There is a job for you there, if you are interested. You'd be able to work your own hours, either here in the study or downtown at the office, whichever you'd like... that is, if you accept. We could really use the help. I know you have other thoughts occupying your time right now, but I want you to know that we'd really like you to join the team."

"Wow, Andy that's so nice... very unexpected. Are you sure I'd be able to make a meaningful contribution to the foundation?"

"You are a compassionate and driven person, Ava; you're exactly what _House to Home_ needs."

"Ok, then, I would love to be part of your group... and thank you so much!" I seemed to be nailing down the details of my future in quick order and I found that, to my surprise, I had no misgivings about any of them.

"No," Andy said, "thank you. Your willingness delights me! Once you're back home and things have settled down for you, we'll go over expectations, responsibilities and salary – I can't wait to 'show you the ropes,' so to speak."

Andy didn't miss a beat and continued on with his onslaught of questions. He asked more about my future and my studies and then moved on to some personal questions.

"Do you see yourself getting married?"

I peeked out of the corner of my eye at Ari, who was staring, mouth opened in disbelief, at his dad.

"Yes, I do." Ari and I hadn't specifically talked about marriage, but he had said he wanted me forever and I knew I felt the same way about him. Ari smiled warmly at my answer and gave my hand a little squeeze.

"Mmm," Andy mused. "What about children?"

My jaw opened in shock and I said, "Done! I'm not answering that one; direct your questions that way," and I pointed down the table. "I have too much on my mind to entertain the possibility of children in my future. Right now, I am better at ending life than I am at thinking of beginning it."

Andy laughed and started playing his game with August, who happily answered whatever questions Andy threw at him. Ari gave me another small kiss and ran his fingers through my hair, sending happy chills down my spine.

After dinner, Aggie brought out a giant birthday cake that said, "Happy birthday, Ava! XO." They sang happy birthday to me even though I begged them not to, then Rory brought out a fleet of beautifully wrapped gifts.

The first gift I opened was from August. It was a framed photograph of the two of us. It had been taken a couple of days ago on the deck. He had just gotten out of the pool and had his swim trunks on and I was wearing one of my new bikinis. August's tattoos cover both of his arms completely and his whole abdomen from his collar bone down all the way to his hipbones. He had challenged me to an arm wrestling contest, so we were sitting at the glass table. My right hand was in his and my own tattoos could be seen. The whole photo was in black and white except for our colorful tattoos. The rest of family was in the background, laughing and clapping. It was truly a beautiful image.

"Aw, August," I gushed. "You shouldn't have. But I love it!"

"No problem, Ava. Aggie wouldn't let me get you another tattoo gift certificate."

Rolling my eyes at her playfully, I picked up her gift. I peeled back the paper and saw another simple but beautiful frame exactly like the one August had given me only much, much larger. I gaped at it. My breath was taken away. Aggie had taken a series of photographs, all of Ari and me asleep.

"Holy cow, Aggie, I don't know what to say!" The pictures were in her signature black-and-white style. There were several photographs taken though out the course our relationship showing images of Ari and me tangled up in each other's arms in bed with the blankets tossed, our hair wild and our limbs knotted in profound closeness. They were so intimate that I felt a wave of heat hit my face, but I didn't care.

"You aren't mad, are you?" Aggie asked.

"Aggie, I have never seen anything so beautiful in all my life."

"Oh, thank God; Ari thought you were going to kill me."

"I am too happy to be angry... but I will lock the bedroom door from now on... "

My next gift was from Lauren and it was another framed black-and-white picture, this one of her, Ari and myself. We were sitting together at the dinner table laughing at Julia.

The opening of presents went on and all of my gifts were the same – magnificent candids, all shot in black and white, and each showing me with different members of the family. There was even one of Andy, hugging me on the day I came back home. I hadn't even been aware of most of these pictures being taken. They were perfect, and I loved each and every one of them.

"Thank you all. I love these. Thank you so much!"

Aggie held me in a tight hug.

"We love you, Ava. We're just so happy you finally came home to us. No matter what you believe is true, you will always be a part of our family."

Aggie served cake and afterwards, I started to help her clean up the mess of plates and wrapping paper, but Ari stole me away through the back door. I turned to apologize to her and saw that everyone was looking at us with smiles stretched across their faces. I did not have time to wonder why as Ari quickly shut the door behind us.

He held my hand and we walked a short distance on the beach. He then led me to his neighbor's house again. He started up the wooded steps to a gorgeous back deck; every light in the house and outside the house was on showcasing all of the home's splendor.

"Ari, what are we doing here?" I asked, trying to hang back and feeling uneasy about approaching the house of people I had never even met.

"Just come on," he said, pulling me up the rest of the way to the back door. "I want to show you something really quick." He slid the door open and walked into the house.

"Ari," I scolded him, "you should knock, just walking right in is so rude."

A smile spread across his face.

"Nah, it's ok. I know the owners – they're cool."

He pulled me inside with him and my nervousness was replaced by awe. The house was absolutely spectacular.

"So... where are they?" My eyes bounced around at the colossal home.

"Right here," he held both of my hands in his. I looked at him with a confused expression.

"I don't understand."

He bit the corner of his bottom lip and let out a nervous breath.

"I bought this house a couple of months ago, with the sign-on bonus I received from Margaux. My folks and I hoped that once you came home you would be home for good. . . and that you would need a place to stay. So this is ours; that is, if you want it."

My eyes grew wide and my hands rushed out of his hands, up to my face. I was too shocked to speak. A tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek. Ari wiped it away, gently with his thumb.

"Is that a happy tear?" he asked hopefully.

I nodded my head yes, still unable to speak.

"Please don't cry, because there is a little bit more I have to do."

I swallowed hard, what could be more than a house?

Ari pulled out a large, shiny ring from his pocket. I sucked in another breath in complete shock and awe. The butterflies in my stomach went completely wild and were irrepressible as Ari pulled me in his arms and began to whisper in my ear.

"Ava, I love you. I have loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you. I cannot imagine going on another moment without you in my life. I promise I will never leave your side, and I promise I will never make you cry. Just please will you marry me?"

I shook my head yes as yet more tears spilled from my eyes.

"Was that a 'yes,' too"? He whispered, once again into my ear.

"Yes, yes," I said softly. Ari placed a platinum, two-carat, round cut diamond ring on my finger and wiped the rest of the tears from my cheeks.

Once the shock started to settle, Ari took me for a tour of our new home. Each room was more remarkable than the last.

"You didn't think we would give you all of those pictures without a place to hang them, did you?" He asked with a smile.

I laughed, "I guess I didn't even think about that."

"So, you really are surprised? I thought for sure my dad was going to give it away."

"Yes, I'm really surprised."

"Remember the other day, when you came into the kitchen to eat some peanut butter?"

I thought back and remembered the weird looks everyone had given me.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I was showing all of them the ring. We were positive that you had heard us talking."

"Ohhh, that's why you all looked like you had seen a ghost. I was way too sleepy and hungry to have cared what you were all talking about."

"Good," he laughed. "Do you like the ring? August helped pick it out; he knows you better than I thought."

"It is beyond perfect. Thank you, for everything, Ari. I love you."

We made our way down a wide, airy hallway and he put his hand on a door handle. This was the only door that had been closed in the whole house.

"Here is the master bedroom," he said turning the knob.

I grabbed his hand and pulled it back.

"No, don't!"

Ari gave me a puzzled look.

"I don't want to see the bedroom yet, it's just... I know now what I want. I want my first time, our first time to be in there, on our wedding night. We have come this far; do you think we can get through the summer, come home, be married, and then walk through that door? I know we've had different life experiences, but I am just now realizing about how important waiting is to me. I want to be married first, Ari. I don't want to see our bedroom until then."

An amazing, breathtaking, awe-inspiring smile broke across Ari's face.

"It's not that different for me, Ava. I had never been in love before I met you, and starting our official life together the right way is more important to me than you know. I will do anything for you, I promise."

We kissed then, right outside what would be our bedroom, and I knew everything would be right.

I walked back through the house, taking in every single detail. A large glass wall, similar to the one at Andy and Aggie's house, looked out to the ocean. The colors on the walls all flowed perfectly together from room to room. Different shades of creams, whites, and grays greeted me and appeased my senses as I walked around the space. Hardwood floors ran throughout the large living space and led to a gourmet kitchen that was complete with-state-of-the-art appliances. The living room was spacious and welcoming and there was a sizable fireplace with a white, intricate mantel wrapped around it. The home had two stories and then a full finished basement. The upstairs held three bedrooms, one of which Ari had turned in to a study. The main floor held the large living and family room, eat in kitchen, formal dining room, an office space and then a spacious and bright sun porch. The walk-out basement came with two more bedrooms, a bathroom, a gigantic utility work space and a family room complete with a wet bar.

Outside there was even a pool house that had yet another bedroom, small but nice, a bathroom, and a kitchen. Ari had furnished much of the house and had already moved in some of our personal things from his room and many of my belongings from my dorm that Margaux had originally sent to be stored. Pictures of my mom and myself in all stages of my life and others of Mia and me at various Cubs games had been arranged with care in various rooms. I felt at home, really at home, as though we had moved in already.

One special picture of Ari as a baby, being held by my dad, was sitting on top of the fireplace mantel. I picked it up and stared at it for a long time, until I heard a knock at the back door.

Ari's family, with August in tow, were all standing on the back deck.

"What did you lock it for?" Aggie yelled through the glass.

"Get used to it, Ma – we lock our doors over here," Ari said playfully as he let them in our new home. They stared at us expectantly.

"Well?" Lauren finally shouted. I held up my left hand and they broke out into cheers. My cheeks began to blush.

August pulled me in to a hug and whispered, "Please tell me I can still be your roommate because this place is awesome."

"Uh... I dunno, August, that's kind of up to Ari. It's his house." August skipped away merrily in Ari's direction, but Ari saw him coming and rushed over to my side.

"So do you have a date in mind?" Aggie asked us, stealing our attention.

I shrugged. I had hardly had time to process the dinner and the cake and the photographs, let alone an engagement ring and a whole house.

"Well... I was thinking the weekend after you get back from Montréal. What about August fourth?" Aggie suggested, and a giggle burst from my lips.

"August forth, ten o'clock," Ari teased at our private joke.

"No," Aggie furrowed her brow, "not ten, Ari. I'm thinking more along the lines of seven, before sunset."

"Sure Mom, whatever. You do it when you want to, and I'll do it when I want to."

"What?" she looked at him perplexed.

"Just kidding around... seven sounds great."

I had a sudden thought, as long as a wedding was on the table. As much as I had grown to love Julia, and as much as I adored Lauren, the truth was that August was my best friend. He knew me the way Mia had, he had loved and befriended me at my all-time worst. It was clear to me that he had to be my maid of honor. I checked with Ari to make sure he would be comfortable with me asking August to stand beside me on our wedding day.

"Of course, Ava, who else would it be?"

August heard us and gave a great big squeal of delight... apparently, he had been hanging around Julia too much already.

I caught Andy in the kitchen, looking out onto the deck.

"Congrats, Ava," he said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Your father would be so proud of you. I know he would have wanted to be here for all of this; your mom, too."

"Thanks, Andy. It'll be hard not to have them here, but at least I have you and Aggie."

"We will always be here for you, Ava, no matter what. Even when you cuss at me, I can't help but love you."

"Andy, I know you are Ari's dad, but would you walk me down the aisle?"

"Do you mean it?"

"Yes, of course I mean it."

"I would love to, Ava," he said solemnly. "Thank you."

Oh, pure wow. A new house, an awesome job and Ari forever – what an intense and gratifying day.

"Thank you," I answered back. "Oh, and by the way, don't ever play your little question game with me again."

Andy chuckled.

"I'm so sorry, Ava; I think I was more nervous than Ari. He must have kicked me under the table half a dozen times."

I shook my head at him then excused myself to save Ari, who had finally been cornered by August. I took one last look at my new home and then we all headed back to Aggie and Andrew's.

### Chapter 23

### Rituals

Rory's brother, Nick, drove us all to the airport Sunday morning and Andy drove the luggage. We hugged each other goodbye over and over and then boarded our flight. Julia and Rory weren't speaking. They had had an awful fight the night before after Rory announced, while looking over our new house with us, that he would not marry, ever. Julia did not take this news kindly and refused to sit near him on the plane. Ari gave me the window and took the middle seat for his own while Julia took the aisle. Rory sat in the seat in front of Ari and August sat in front of me.

I quickly fell into that half-awake, half-asleep state of mind so common to air travel. I had my head on Ari's shoulder and could see that Julia had her head on his other shoulder. August turned around and stage whispered to Ari, in a pathetic attempt at an American accent, "Atta boy, eh?" I gave him a little rap on the back of his head, not too hard, but enough to get my point across. Then I stood up, made Ari move to the window seat and shoved Julia's sleeping body to her armrest. Then to boycott Ari further for allowing Julia to use his shoulder, I put my head on Julia's shoulder. I fell asleep to Ari and Rory shaking with laughter as August rubbed the back of his head.

We arrived at Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport several hours later and took a couple of rented cars to my childhood home. The caretaker, François, and his wife Marie met us at the front door.

" _Bonjour, je suis Ava,"_ I introduced myself and they both wrapped me up in giant hugs.

" _Mais bien sùr, Ava, bienvenue! Nous étions les amis de votre mère. Et ces sont vos amis? Entrez, entrez!"_ François exclaimed, telling us that he had been a close friend of my mother as he unlocked the door.

We walked into the house and I stepped back in time. The rooms looked exactly as they had when my mother and I lived in them. There were still photographs of the two of us hanging on the walls. I was taken by how young I had been and how different I had looked.

My mother's gardening shoes were still on the mat at the back door and her raincoat was still strung on its peg. François showed me through the house, making sure there was nothing he had missed.

" _Et le piano?"_ I asked. François led me to the piano and I quickly played a few notes. The tuning had been done and the piano sounded perfect.

" _Merçi bien encore, François!"_

We walked back to the front door.

" _Comment bien vouz avez fait! C'est parfait!"_ I thanked him and he smiled, happy that he had helped.

François and Marie let themselves out and explained that if there was anything we needed during our stay just to ask.

I turned around and saw Ari with a huge smile on his face.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just love it when you speak like that. It is incredibly hot."

" _Je peux parler en français aussi, Ari,"_ August chimed in, reminding Ari in a teasing way that he could speak French too, and then he winked.

I laughed aloud.

"What did he just say to me?" Ari demanded.

"It was just a bad joke, Ari; don't worry about it," I said as I moved up the stairs to show everyone to their rooms. Thankfully, Rory and Julia had made up during the last stretch of the plane ride. He had apologized profusely and said that of course he wanted to get married, maybe even some day very soon. I am not sure how honest he was really being, but Julia didn't seem to mind. I gave them my mother's bedroom and gave August the guest room next door to it. Ari and I took my old bedroom.

Looking around, I recalled that I had not been the average thirteen-year-old girl. There was not a drop of pink in that room and no dolls or games. I had always liked reading more than toys. . .my room looked more like a guest bedroom than anything else. I picked up my old copy of _Go Ask Alice_ and thumbed through it. Ari sat on the bed; he looked exhausted.

"Did you guys just leave in the middle of the night or something?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a seat next to him.

"Well, doesn't this room, the whole house in fact, look as if you still live here? I mean, seriously, Ava, your toothbrush is still in the bathroom."

He did have a point.

"My mom got a sudden job offer and she had to accept right away. We just bought all new stuff when we got to Chicago. I think she had always planned on us coming back as soon as she wasn't needed anymore."

"Yeah, but she went out of her way to put this house in your name before she died and she gave you specific instructions not to tell Margaux. Doesn't that seem a bit odd to you?"

"Yeah, but that was just the way my mom worked. I sometimes think that she despised Margaux more than I do. My mom never told her where we lived when we were here; everything came through a post office box. But that all changed when we got to Chicago – Margaux visited us whenever she was in the city on business."

"Maybe they made up," Ari said with a yawn.

I stood up, not wanting to think about them anymore, grabbed a change of clothes, and slipped into my closet to undress. When I came back out, Ari was already in his boxers and under the sheets waiting for me. I crawled in next to him and he was out in a matter of seconds.

I stayed awake for hours unable to sleep. Ari's iPad kept me company and I stayed up reading the news. When I got tired of that, I checked my email. I had received a message from Nora in London. August had been on top of things and had emailed to tell her that we were going to be visiting the states for a while. I had some guilt about leaving London without saying goodbye but she didn't seem angry about that. She said the wedding would be in late July and wondered if we would be able to attend. She added that she didn't have an address for me and so could not send August or me a proper invitation.

I really did want to go to Nora and Adler's wedding, but the thought of returning to London made my skin crawl. I sent Nora a lengthy email back keeping her posted on my own recent engagement, my new home and my sweet reunion with Ari. I let her know I would check with August and Ari about planning a trip to London for her wedding and let her know as soon as possible.

Turning off Ari's iPad, I tried again to sleep but it was futile. At dawn, I slipped out of bed and made my way down to the kitchen and the big coffee pot my mom kept there. I made the coffee and then poured myself a giant cup and sat down at the piano. Reluctant to wake anyone, I played very softly. The keys felt wonderful under my fingers. After about an hour of Mozart, I was startled when August sat down on the bench next to me. He put his hands on the keys and began to play "Grace Kelly." I took the low notes, joining in on his intended duet. We both sang the fabulous French version and when it was done, we wiggled our fingers together and gave a loud "cha-ching."

"Was that _Mika_?" Ari said standing behind us.

"Yeah, I guess it was," I said. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No Baby, its fine. I've been listening from upstairs for a while."

"Come here; I'll teach you," I patted my fingers on the bench as August got up to get a cup of coffee. Ari took a seat and I showed him which keys to hit for a very simple version of Heart and Soul. He wasn't horrible and when we finally got through it, he kissed me on the cheek and smiled.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked with concern.

"No, I guess I just had too much on my mind. By the way, we have been invited to Nora and Adler's wedding. It's the weekend before ours -- are you guys interested in going?"

"Yes!" August hissed a bit too excitedly. "Adler's friend Smith is going to be there and I'm planning on making my move."

"I'm sure Smith's girlfriend will love that, August."

"Please, Ava, that girl doesn't have a clue."

"Well, good luck with that, Aug. What about you, Ari – do you want to go? We don't have to."

"No, of course I want to go."

I hesitated a bit before saying, "I'm not sure I want to go back there."

August gave me a disappointed look.

"Ava, seriously it's a wedding and it's Nora's wedding at that. You have to go."

"Mmm," I wrinkled my nose, "I think Ari and I may fly there and back in the same day. I don't think I want to stay overnight in that city ever again."

"Fine," August grumbled, "you guys do whatever you want. I am going to stay a while."

"Ok, just remember to be in California on August the Fourth at seven o'clock," I looked him square in the eye to make sure he wouldn't flake on me, then got up to start on breakfast for everyone.

We had arrived in Montréal just in time for the Franco Foiles festival that takes place in the middle week of June each year. The festival showcases different events each night downtown. On our first evening, we went to see the hottest new French singer, Brigitte. She was wonderful and we had a fantastic time. We didn't make it home until very late into the night. I fell right asleep in Ari's arms and I was met by nightmare after nightmare on the other side of my consciousness. I woke up screaming twice and sent a very sleepy Ari into near hysterics. He was super sweet to me; knowing I had no control over when and how menacing a dream might be.

He had the best way of calming me down, by stroking my face and talking to me really quietly, just as he had the first few nights my screams brought him into my dorm room so long ago.

This ritual provided an avenue for us to learn even more about each other, and I found out something new about Ari every night. I learned that he had broken his nose twice, once when he was eight and had been learning to surf with his dad, and then a second time when Rory punched him in class.

I learned that his favorite food is a gyro and that he's been grounded only one time in his life, and that was when he and Rory snuck a whole bottle of ouzo and drank it all. They both got really sick. Ari said he didn't get grounded for the drinking but for ruining his mom's carpet when the ouzo came back up.

He even told me about his first kiss. This story made me laugh so hard, I giggled all night long, keeping him awake. He was only thirteen years old, he was shopping with his mom and sister at the market and some girl just walked up to him and started kissing him. Aggie had to shoo her away and she told Ari to get used to it. He told me he had never been more embarrassed in all of his life.

I know that he reads Ernest Hemingway and Edgar Allen Poe and he can watch the waves crash on the sand for hours without ever getting bored. Most importantly, I have learned that Ari loves me more than anything else in the whole world and he would do anything to make sure I never forget it.

Ari does not like to be asked who he is, in fact, he has never even told me. But one look at him and if you know anything about Greek history, you can tell who he is – Ari Cal Alexander, son of Agatha and Andrew Alexander, descendant of the two most beautiful deities ever known Adonis and Aphrodite.

He is perfect. Square jaw, straight nose, despite the fact it has been broken twice, and perfect skin. His eyes are a never-ending clear brown and his smile lights up every room he enters. There isn't a soft spot on his entire body. He is lean, firm, and athletic. Ari is much more than an incredibly pretty face; he is a genius. His mind is extraordinary. I love watching him think, and argue and debate. His form of speech is always articulate and eloquent. He is never wrong, unless of course, his argument is with me, and then he's up against it because in my opinion I am never wrong. Above all, Ari is kind and compassionate. He has the biggest heart and most unadulterated soul of anyone I have ever met. Ari's love for his family and for me eclipses all else.

That night, he asked, as always, if I wanted to talk about my dreams and my answer was always the same: "No." My nightmares were nothing new; no new information and no signs of No. 6, who failed to show himself. I hoped that my killing his five brothers had scared him off, but deep down inside my gut told me I was grasping after a false hope.

### Chapter 24

### Nerves

Montréal is by far one of the best cities to live in; there is always something to do. For the first few weeks of our summer sojourn, we stayed busy with art shows and exhibitions, concerts and visits to parks. We dined at Accords Wine Bar and Aix Cuisine du Terroir, two of the absolute best places to eat in Montréal, and after a month, we were all drained.

Ari and I were able to stay on our "best behavior." I think the fact that we had set a date and that I had decided that I really did want to wait helped ease some of the pressure and helped keep my mind clear. I learned to focus on Ari and the rest of the world at the same time, although doing so took a lot of practice.

There were a few times that Ari slept on the couch because of me, and a few times because of our noisy neighbors in the room down the hall. Some nights both of us moved down to the couch and August was close behind us.

"Hey, Baby," Ari whispered in my ear one morning after he, August and myself had all crashed in the living room the night before, and I was dog-tired.

"We're out of coffee and creamer and, well, a bunch of stuff...August and I are going to the market."

"Mmm," I mumbled in return. I felt a kiss on my forehead and shortly after heard the front door close.

Dreams came to me. . .images of Ari floated into my mind, scenes of a wedding danced in my unconscious thoughts and then faded away. I saw images of all of the people that I love, together on the beach. Dreams of Ari and Rory sitting together in the sand on a breezy clear night came and went in my mind. The images seemed to be happy ones, but my body responded to them with fear. I felt trapped and scared and I was starting to panic. A window, small and rectangular, appeared in my mind and all I could see from it was the low-hung moon, hauntingly full and bright white, taunting me.

I woke up dripping in a cold sweat; my throat was sore and my voice nearly gone. Julia and a fat-lipped Rory were leaning over me.

"What the hell is going on?" I screamed in a panic.

"You tell us, Ava. You've been screaming for ten minutes straight. I tried to wake you but you punched me in the lip."

I looked down and noticed my swollen knuckle.

"Oh gosh, Rory, I'm so sorry. I was having a nightmare, I think, but...." I shook my head. There had been nothing scary about my dream and no amount of mulling it over could explain the terror I evidently had felt.

I climbed into the shower, turning the water icy cold to wash the unknown fears away.

****

When I had called Margaux, a month earlier to tell her about being engaged to Ari, she had been thrilled. She told me not to worry about anything and that she would take care of my dress and shoes. She started right in texting me so that I could keep track of her progress and I found that I was actually very pleased. I had told her I wanted to keep the dress simple, light but still elegant. Our wedding was to be held on the beach at dusk; the late hour dictated that, though the ceremony would be outside, it would be formal. She told me she had a huge surprise for me, and that she would not show me the shoes until the day of the wedding. She herself always trotted around on five-inch heels, so I was a tad anxious about the "surprise," but she promised the shoes would suit the beach sand just fine. I had no option but to trust her. I didn't have to worry about bridesmaid dresses since August was my maid of honor. Rory was Ari's best man so we told them they were in charge of their own attire and begged that they keep it appropriate.

Aggie called me sometimes as often as three times a day to go over wedding details. I always told her she should do whatever she thought best, but she still insisted upon my input. I did make a few choices. I chose my flowers, for instance. I have always loved white anemones, with the stark white petals ringing a black center, so I made sure to request them for our wedding flowers. I was planning to wear my hair down, with soft waves trailing down my back. Julia, great at putting on makeup, agreed to help me out with hair and face. All that I really cared about was being with Ari; the rest just didn't seem important to me. Aggie on the other hand was worrying over every detail. Sometimes to keep from hurting her feelings, I handed the phone off to Ari. He always knew exactly what to say to ease her anxiety.

We spent the last few weeks of July just lounging around the house. I sat and played the piano and gave Ari a few lessons. He picked up the basics in no time at all. He could even pick out a few songs by himself by ear, and though he played slowly, the result was impressive.

Ari was trying to learn phrases in French, too, but August constantly teased him. For instance, he would have Ari repeat some words to me that had been presented as just everyday phrases but that were actually really raunchy and almost always had something to do with sex. I loved this game; it made me blush, and then laugh and laugh. Ari wasn't quite as fond of it – he often became angry at August, though his frustration made me laugh even more.

Ari didn't realize it but the game actually did help him with his accent and pronunciation. He sometimes sounded like a genuine francophone, which was a very becoming sound for him.

Julia and Rory liked being in Canada more than they let on; they kept to themselves a lot during the daytime and they eventually hatched a plan to stay in Montréal while the rest of us traveled to London for Nora's wedding. I booked same-day return-trip tickets from Montréal to London for the day of the ceremony. Ari and I were planning to fly out of London non-stop to L.A. right after the wedding reception. August was planning to hang back in London for a couple of extra days. His parents were going to be in town, so he was going to visit with them before he came back to California.

August liked California so much that he had actually started looking for jobs there. Ari was not too crazy about the idea of him living with us in our new home and I didn't push the idea. In our entire relationship, Ari and I had never really been alone -- unless I counted the trip to Chicago for Mia's funeral, which I did not. I was looking forward to having him all to myself for a very long while.

Whenever I thought about my own wedding night, I became extremely nervous. Ari could tell I was edgy and that made me feel worse. It wasn't as though he and I sat around and talked about sex all the time, but because we were living with August and Rory, the topic was bound to crop up at least once a day. I knew I wanted to marry Ari; I loved him more than anything else in the whole world. I had already proven that I could not be without him. I just hoped he understood that my feelings of nervousness were those typical of a bride and not at all directed towards him.

One night, about a week before Nora's wedding, I had just concluded a very long, very tiring phone call with Aggie. I hung up the phone and put my head in my hands. Ari came up, put his hand on my back, then began to run his fingers through my hair.

"Do you want to elope first, Ava? We can. It would just be our little secret; we can run off and get married and I promise no one will have to know."

I kissed him and shook my head no.

"I appreciate the offer, Ari, but I want to marry you the right way, with your family there behind us. That's the only way to do it."

He smiled at me then scooped me up in his arms and carried me off to bed, slamming the door behind us with his foot.

For our final week in Montréal, I did a lot of packing. Since I was selling the house, I needed to go through the rooms and decide what to do with all of the stuff. I didn't need the furniture, but there were still some keepsakes and pictures that I decided to pack up and ship out to our home in California.

I had cleaned out most of my old bedroom, and I didn't find anything in it that I wanted to keep. I took all of the books to the library of the school I had attended and sent my old clothes to the women's crisis center.

August's room had been just about empty to begin with. My mother and I never had visitors when we were in Québec, except for Perry, so the room had rarely been used.

My mother's room was a completely different story. She had literally not packed a single thing of hers when we moved. Her jewelry box was still sitting open on the dresser. I picked out her favorite necklaces and even her wedding ring and I wondered if what Ari asked about was right. Maybe we did just up and leave in the middle of the night. When she told me we were moving, I didn't suspect anything. She told me she had a job and I believed her. When we got to Chicago, she started work right away.

Now, the more I learn about who I am, the more I realize that I really didn't know who she was. So many of my questions remained unanswered. I had learned from Margaux that my mother was a Fate. I knew my father had been a Fate as well, a trait inherited from ancestors on both sides of his family. For the first time in history all three Fates had been combined in a single offspring and I was that offspring. I had the blood of all three. I had not yet told Ari my discovery.

Ari, August and I flew out at dawn on the day of Nora's wedding, one week before my own. I was ready to leave as soon as we landed. Being back in London brought all of the horrible and painful memories back to me. Ari squeezed my hand and never let it go the whole day.

Nora and Adler's wedding was really lovely. Adler's family was affluent and well known in the community. Their guest list was quite impressive and ranged from a very famous research scientist to a pop star and even a few actors. Nora looked ethereal in her floating white satin gown and Adler was visibly awe struck by her splendor the whole time.

Ari and I had plenty of entertainment watching August try to bring The Smith Plan to fruition. August had been right – Smith was clearly gay. But I don't think he had the same feelings for August that August had for him. Nevertheless, I was happy to see him trying to move on from Claude.

I enjoyed seeing Nora again, and apologized again for not having been able to say goodbye to her when I left England. She, for her part, was very excited to meet Ari finally.

"Well, now I understand why you were such a mess when you were here, Ava," she said when she first saw him. "I would have been a mess too if I had left him behind."

Ari laughed and pulled me closer to him. We danced a few slow songs and then I hugged each friend – Nora, Adler and August – goodbye and Ari and I made our way back to the airport to go home at last.

****

By the time we arrived in California, I was something of a zombie. We spent all day Sunday asleep in Ari's marvelous bed and then both jumped awake on Monday morning to the sound of Aggie pounding on his bedroom door. Ari had locked the door the night before and not being able to get in the room had made Aggie, who clearly had an agenda, even more angry. Ari stumbled to his door and let his mother in, then crawled back in bed and hid his head under a pillow while Aggie barked orders at me to get up.

"You have a dress fitting in an hour with Margaux, Ava! Then you need to sign off on all the decorations and after that, I need you to talk with the florist and then check the menu to make sure everything is right." The schedule poured out of her without benefit of a single breath.

Ari all but pushed me out of bed so his mom would stop the angry-sergeant bit. I let my teeth clamp down on my tongue to keep from saying anything that might hurt her feelings and made my way to the shower to start my very long day.

****

_Oh, my!_ I thought when I first saw the dress. It is beautiful. How did Margaux know? The French peau de soie garment was long and smooth against my skin. Thank goodness I put some healthy weight back on so my bones aren't sticking out. I had kept up my cross training with Rory while in Montréal and was back to being lean and fit where it counted. The back of the dress plunged down low to the small of my back and the whole garment hung by thin wispy straps from my shoulders.

Margaux despised my tattoos maybe even more than she despised me, but I didn't care. They were very much a part of me and the contrast they brought to the day would be a perfect reminder that I am not perfect. The shoe surprise she had promised me had caused some anxiety; how could she know me so well when she seemed to dislike everything about me? She had personally designed a pair of black and white silk ballet flats. I loved them and thanked her a dozen times. She seem strangely gratified that I so clearly admired her efforts, and even hugged me before she left.

Aggie pulled me out of bed again on Tuesday. She had planned a wedding shower, even though Ari and I had both nixed the idea. I spent a good chunk of the day at Gianna's with a bunch of women, playing bridal games while Ari spent his whole day sailing. Not that I would ever get on a sailboat, but anything would have been better than the shower. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate of all the thoughtful gifts, kind words and support. I love Ari's family. I just didn't like so much attention being paid to me. Anxiety was close enough to the surface; I didn't need to be the center of attention any more than necessary.

The rest of the week followed the now established pattern. I spent nearly every waking hour with Aggie going over final touches and I spent each night curled up next to Ari.

We picked Julia and Rory up from the airport on Wednesday and then August on Thursday.

"Any luck with Smith?" I asked as soon as we saw him walk out in to the main part of the airport.

"I don't want to talk about it." He grumbled.

"Ohh, August, I'm sorry! But you know a relationship would never have worked out anyway, what with you moving here and all. Don't worry, we'll find you a great guy who actually deserves you, I promise." He threw his arm around my shoulder and we walked out to the car.

Ari's home was beginning to fill up with visitors and each time someone new walked through the door, my anxiety level crept up a notch.

On Thursday night, I managed to slip away from Aggie a little early and had just gotten out of a hot shower and put on a pair of pajamas when I heard Andy call to me from his study.

"Ava?"

I peeked in through the open door.

"Yeah, Andy, what's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Uh, sure," I answered and walked into the study. He had finally gotten around to having the room re-painted. Tasteful art was hanging on the walls and his bookshelf was full of photos and books. I paused by it and glanced at them. He had photos from Ari's graduation and photos of he and Lauren with surfboards. There were even photos of Ari and me.

"Take a seat, Ava; I won't keep you for too long."

I pulled out a chair across from Andy, who was sitting at his desk.

"Ava, your finances are none of my business but I have a fair idea of what you are worth. I helped your father plan his estate in the event that he died and I am aware that he left it all to you. I also know that your mother had her own money that I am assuming she left to you as well, not to mention the money that you will one day inherit from _baio_. I think it may be in your best interest if you approach Ari with a pre-nuptial agreement."

I stared at Andy with my mouth open.

"A pre-nup? Are you serious?"

"I am serious, Ava. A pre-nup is just a tool designed for protecting assets. I wouldn't have brought it up, but I feel morally obligated as both an attorney and your partner with _House to Home_. If you'd like I could get something written up tonight."

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" Ari popped his head in the doorway.

"Ari, can you give us a minute, please? I won't take long." Andy looked up at him from his glasses.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Ari gave me a puzzled look and I smiled a weak smile at him before he closed the door.

"Thank you for your concern, Andy, but I'm not interested." I stated.

He nodded his head, "That's what I thought you would say. I just want to make sure you are aware that a pre-nup is an option you have. None of us will judge you if you opt to take advantage of it. Such an agreement would actually be a very smart avenue for you to take."

"Thank you. I appreciate the advice. I really do, but no."

"Ava, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Does Ari have any clue how much you are worth?"

I scrunched my nose up thinking. "I don't know. Does he?"

Andy laughed aloud. "I wouldn't know, Ava. Maybe you should talk with him about it. Let him know what he is marrying into."

"Oh, ok." I stood up to leave.

"Good night, Ava."

"Night, Andy, and thanks again."

I climbed into Ari's bed and he found me there seconds later. I was lying on my stomach with my head buried in a pillow. Ari sat down beside me and traced small circles on my back.

"Are you going to tell me what you two were talking about in there?"

I rolled over to face him. "Your dad has just suggested that I consider a pre-nuptial agreement."

"What?" Ari laughed. "That's nuts; why would he do that?"

"Um, I don't know how to say this, but I have a lot of money."

Ari gave me a confused smile.

"What do you mean by 'a lot of money'?"

I giggled. "I am filthy stinkin' rich, Ari. I have more money than I know what to do with. And your dad suggested I consider a pre-nup in case something bad ever happens between us."

"How much money are you talking about, Ava?" Ari frowned.

"Oh, I honestly don't know; I've never looked into it before. I know I have millions. I make thousands of dollars every day on interest alone. At least that's what my finance guy told me."

"What do you spend it on?"

I shrugged. "Nothing. You know me. I don't buy anything but clothes and music. I donate monthly to a list charities and I financed our wedding but that's really it. Why, do you want something? I called the bank last week and they are putting your name on all the accounts, while they change mine to Alexander. If you want something, all you have to do is go down there and sign some documents so your signature is on file."

I stood up and walked over to the little drawer I had for my belongings in Ari's closet and pulled out a set of keys.

"These are for the safety deposit boxes. We have three of them. If you ever need quick cash, I keep $9,900.00 in each of them, along with some jewelry and stuff that you probably won't be interested in; Lauren knows where they are if you are ever in a pinch."

"When were you going to tell me this?"

"I'm really sorry, Ari. I figured you already knew."

"How would I know that, Ava? You never talk about this stuff. Did my dad get the documents ready to sign or is he working on them now?"

"Huh?"

"The pre-nup. Is it ready?"

I gawked at him.

"I told your dad no. We aren't signing anything. I love you. I want to marry you and live with you forever in our house next door. I want you to have whatever you want whenever you want it. I don't ever want to lose you. If you left me, I would die inside and nothing else would matter."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, of course."

"Wow, Ava, this is a lot to take in."

"It's just money. It doesn't change anything – I'm still me. So, you didn't answer my question. What do you want? Let's go buy it."

"I don't want anything. Just you. . . well, you on August Fourth at ten o'clock."

I blushed and Ari snuggled in next to me under the blankets.

****

I spent all day Friday with Aggie, Gianna, Julia, Lauren and a million other female members of Ari's family at a spa. I had my nails painted their usual color, and I had a facial. I stayed quiet and tried my best to look interested in whatever mundane conversation was going on, but the truth was that I was afraid if I opened my mouth to speak, I might throw up.

Ari had a much better day than I did. The guys surfed all day and Lauren let August try out her board. Watching August try to surf was a scene I really would have been happy to see, but there had been those nails to do and that face to take care of. . .

I met up with them Friday night on Aggie and Andy's deck. Everyone was hanging around, drinking and talking. Ari had my favorite _Angus & Julia Stone_ album playing and when "The Wedding Song" played, he pulled me to my feet and held me close and we danced. He sang quietly into my ear ad I felt the nervous tension drain away. When the song ended, he asked, "Will you give me your forever and ever, Ava Baio?"

"You already have it, Ari. You have had it since the moment I laid eyes on you." He kissed me one last time before we were man and wife.

Aggie insisted that Ari sleep at our new house and I stay with them in Ari's old room. She didn't want him to see me before I walked down the aisle. I thought sleeping apart was a little more trouble than it might be worth, but I agreed to her plan just the same.

### Chapter 25

### August Fourth

The sound of screams woke me on Saturday at dawn; within a few seconds I realized the screams were coming from me. No. 6 had been taunting me, playing with the corners of my mind. He never showed his plan or even himself for that matter, but over and over, in my mind, I heard, "I am coming for you, Ava Baby." Trying to convince myself that his message was nothing new gave me little solace and I told myself that his threat was a good sign – let him come, the sooner the better, so I could off him and get on with my life.

But in all honesty, I was terrified. I made my way down the hall and took a long shower, scrubbing myself clean. I covered myself in lotion and then put on a tee shirt and Ari's old sweats. All my clothes had been moved to the new house, so I had to settle for whatever was in the back of Ari's closet. I headed to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee.

I was expecting a dark, quiet kitchen. After all, the sun had hardly even begun to peek across the east lawn... but what I expected was far from what I found. Aggie's kitchen was in complete chaos, full of women eating breakfast and talking about how they were going to do their hair and makeup.

"There you are!" Aggie frowned, looking exasperated. "I was beginning to think you were never going to wake up!"

"Aggie, what are you talking about? The wedding isn't for twelve hours."

Ignoring her angry stare, I poured myself a cup of coffee, and sat down to read the paper. I needed to distract myself to keep from being sick. Aggie knows that I have issues with clearing my mind, so after a moment she backed off. I think she could tell that my façade was wearing down and that I was on the brink tears, or worse.

"Ok, Ava, you're right," she relented, and sat down next to me, pretending to read various sections of the paper as I finished with them. Gently she took my hand and I looked up into her eyes. Tears filled up in my own and my hands shook.

"Oh, Ava Baby," she whispered, "I am so sorry. Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine."

I nodded my head and stood up.

"I think I need some fresh air."

She followed me out to the back deck and I let go and cried. Aggie and I might not always agree and we may give each other grief from time to time, but I love her and right then I needed a mom. She held me tight in her arms as I cried nervous tears into her mother-of-the groom tee shirt.

"Shh, Ava, everything is going to be okay, Baby, I promise," she crooned, trying to comfort me. "If anyone can do this you can. I know you've gone through much more than a little wedding." I nodded and sat down on one of her deck chairs. She took the seat next to me. "What are you so afraid of, Ava?" she asked. I let out a quick breath and shrugged my shoulders.

"Is it the wedding? Because, honey, all you have to do is show up and say 'I do.'"

"No, I don't think that's it," I said shakily.

"Well, is it all the people in the kitchen so early? Because I can send them to Gianna's."

"No, they're fine; don't worry, Aggie."

"Ava," she spoke quietly, "are you worried about tonight – you know, when all of this is over?"

Fresh tears poured out of my eyes and I felt as though a huge weight on my chest was keeping me from breathing.

"Oh, Ava Baby," Aggie said softly, as she turned my left wrist over and began to stroke my tally marks absent-mindedly.

"Ava, I am so proud of you. I am so honored that you have chosen to be a part of our family. Please believe me when I say that you have nothing to worry about. This is Ari, after all. He loves you more than I have ever seen a man love a woman. He has never looked at anything the way I see him look at you. Nothing makes him happier than you do. All tonight is, is love, Baby, nothing else but love."

I took a deep breath and stood up. She pulled me into another hug and I whispered a quiet thank you into her ear.

I was able to manage the rest of the day a little bit better. Julia kept my mind busy by babbling on about some fight she and Rory had gotten into the night before, and about how making up afterwards had made the argument totally worthwhile. She told me she had seen the guys all leaving for the golf course and that Ari had told her he missed me already.

****

By six forty-five that evening, I was in my dress, makeup done with nowhere to go and nothing to do for fifteen very long minutes. All of the guests and wedding party had moved out to the little white chairs set up on the beach, leaving me alone with Andy.

"Oh, my goodness, Ava, you are so beautiful," Andy said, as he walked through the back door into the kitchen. I grabbed the empty garbage can at the end of the counter and threw up.

"Oh no, please don't do this to me," Andy said with nervous laughter. I ignored his plea and threw up again, then grabbed my toothbrush from next to the kitchen sink for the tenth time that day, scrubbed my mouth clean and used the last bit of my mouthwash as a chaser. I was a complete nervous wreck.

Andy came up to me and looped my arm through his, steadying me.

"Just stand with me like this for a minute, Ava." I did as he said. My racing heart slowed and my breathing began to return to normal.

"Ari is out there waiting for you. He loves you and I know that you love him," Andy said as he took a few slow steps towards the back door. "You look astonishing tonight, and I know you can handle anything that's out there," he said, and we took a few more steps through the door and out to the deck.

"All this is, is a wedding. The most important part about today is that when it's over and the guests are gone, you will start on a road with Ari that will last the rest of your life."

He had talked me down the deck, right up to the aisle. I focused on what he was saying and squeezed his arm with all of my strength. Through the fog that had wrapped itself around my mind, I could hear the music playing and I could see faces turned in my direction, but I ignored them and just listened to Andy, still talking and leading each step we took. When we were at the home stretch, he said over and over again, "It's just Ari, don't worry; it's just Ari."

Andy took my hand and held it in his at the end of the aisle; he squeezed it, and then kissed me on the cheek.

"There, see?" he said looking up at the man before me – "it's just Ari." I nodded my head and smiled at Andy. He had done it. I was there, in front of our gathered friends and family, and there was just the two of us – Ari and myself. Andy placed my hand into his son's hand and all my nervousness immediately drifted away.

A small gasp escaped my lips when our minister began to conduct the ceremony in French. August translated the most important parts so as not to exclude our guests, but for the most part our ceremony was incredibly private and beautiful. Ari had clearly been behind this detail because he knew exactly what to say and when to say it. When it was finally time, Ari wrapped his arms around me, held my body tight, and kissed me the way a husband kisses his wife. The crowd erupted into cheers and applause and my cheeks turned pink.

Aggie and Andy found us after the ceremony and I threw my arms around Andy's neck and thanked him. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.

"Are you going to be okay?" His voice was full of concern.

"Yes, thank you, Andy." I then hugged Aggie and thanked her again for the support and love she had given me in the morning. Once his parents walked away to join the other guests, Ari turned and looked at me perplexed.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing," I replied. "Just that I was in desperate need of a mom and dad today and yours were there for me."

Ari kissed me on the temple.

"We will always be here for you, Ava."

We greeted our wedding guests with hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Emily, Viola and Sophie had come, along with several of Ari's friends from DPI. Margaux and a few of her respected colleagues and close friends were in attendance. Collin, Nick's friend, had come and congratulated Ari. In all the time since I first saw him, he had never spoken to me, and he didn't say anything at the wedding either.

Karen, Mia's mom, had made the journey from Chicago and seeing her brought on a fleet of emotions. I hugged her tightly, thanked her for coming and somehow managed not to break down and weep at the thought of my dear friend, Mia. The evening passed by in a blink, August and Rory both gave speeches and I am pretty sure they were trying to outdo one another in the number of laughs they received, but in the end they each had very sweet things to say.

Ari had been put in charge of picking our wedding song. It may be possible that he loves music just as much, if not more than I do. I knew that our song had been a very important detail for him to consider. He took my hand, there under the canopy of twinkling lights, and led me onto the wooden dance floor. He held me close and we were greeted by a live acoustic performance of "Pink Moon," the very same people we had seen perform the song together the fall before.

"Oh Ari, this couldn't be more perfect. I love you."

"I love you more."

Ari held me in his arms all night and we swayed back and forth to the music; kissing softly more than dancing, really. The stars were shining bright above us when Ari took me by the hand and began gradually weaving us in and out of the crowd of wedding guests. When he finally found a clearing, he picked me up, cradled me in his arms, and started down the strip of beach towards our home. I peeked behind him and saw a gathering of smiling faces, some giggling at our departure and I buried my face shyly into Ari's shoulder.

The butterflies in my stomach were beating their wings restlessly while Ari carried me up the steps and through the door. I closed my eyes to suppress the nerves. He carried me through our home, down the hall and finally set me down again in front of our bedroom door. We stopped there and kissed. Our kisses were delicate and soft. I could feel his hands run up my bare back and my stomach did somersaults. His fingers stopped at the top of my wispy straps, the only thing keeping my dress tied to the rest of my body.

Our kisses became deeper and more frantic and I moved my fingers to the buttons on his shirt. I let out a breath and my nerves vanished. They were quickly replaced with desire. Ari grabbed the door handle, pushed the door open, and pulled me in with him. I pulled his shirt off his shoulders and ran my fingers down his chest, towards the button on his pants. His eyes fluttered closed at my touch and when they opened, they were dark and full of need.

Ari slid the tiny straps of my dress from my shoulders and the dress rippled down into a puddle of silk at my feet.

"Oh, my God, Ava, you are so beautiful," he said, and his voice was rough and deep. The eagerness became overwhelming. Ari pulled me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, his hands settled on either side of my head. He stopped kissing me for a moment and looked me in the eyes and suddenly I was filled with surprise, pain and pleasure all at once. I gasped and Ari stilled.

"Are you okay, Baby?"

"Yes," I whispered. I was more than okay. We whispered, "I love you" to each other in between breathless gasps. Ari grabbed my body tight and held me close so I could feel his heartbeat. I ran my hands down his back. He was sweet, gentle and loving. My body melted with the desire. We were covered in a sultry sheen. His hands were knotted fists in my hair. My lips were pressed firmly against his. When I felt like I was going to explode with the pleasure, I dug my fingernails into his bare back and bit down on the corner of his bottom lip to keep myself from screaming out. Ari made a muffled moan into my mouth.

Our breathing slowed and he tucked me into his side, his arms wrapped around me. Ari wiped a tiny amount of blood from his bottom lip and kissed me softly on my forehead. I was completely drained. I felt my consciousness begin to fade.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Alexander."

"Mmm," I mused and fell asleep.

### Chapter 26

### Hopeless

When I awoke in the morning, I was wrapped up in Ari; the sun was flooding our new bedroom with light. I had not noticed one detail about the room the night before due to my preoccupation with the details of Ari. The room was beautiful. Our bed, a four-poster king-sized fluffy bed, was draped by Ari's traditional huge overstuffed blankets and graced by matching pillows. Our sheets were softer than silk. I spied a walk-in closet across the room and next to it the door to the master bath. Ari's great bedroom chair from next door, my personal favorite piece of furniture, had been moved over to a corner in our room. Stacks of his books and mine were piled up next to it.

The furniture was an eclectic mix of both vintage and modern. There was an old dressing table with a very large mirror above it. On the dressing table was a huge bouquet of our wedding flowers in a clear-glass vase. Flanking the bed were unmatched bedside tables. Ari's was masculine and mine was sweet and dainty. Each was adorned with a glass vase of more white anemone flowers. A bench at the foot of our bed was embellished with a soft throw blanket and more decorative pillows. The window offered a magnificent view of the Pacific Ocean, and hanging on the wall behind the bed were the photos Aggie had taken of Ari and myself sleeping. The room was perfect and I was completely at peace.

"Good morning, Sweet Ava," Ari said sleepily. I got one good look at his lip and my eyes grew huge.

"Oh, my gosh, Ari, I am so sorry."

Ari gave me a beautiful laugh.

"That's nothing," he said as he sat up and turned so that his back was visible. Scratch marks stretched from his neck down his shoulder blades. I covered my face with my hands but Ari quickly pulled them away. He had a smile stretched across his face.

"Believe me Ava, last night was amazing."

My cheeks flushed.

"Yeah, it was," I admitted sheepishly.

Ari moved me on top of him.

"Care to try it again?"

I giggled and we spent the rest of the morning in bed.

****

Since many of our guests had come from out of town, we planned to host a goodbye dinner at a restaurant in Laguna. The dinner would be a nice way to say our thanks before our guests left for home. When Ari and I finally did decide to get out of bed, he announced that he was going to take a shower and start to get ready. I decided that, if I needed to be able to function around all of the guests and family members, I should probably get a run in.

"Ok, Baby, I love you. Remember, you hold my heart in here," he pointed to my chest, "I can't live without it, so please be careful and don't be gone for too long."

I swooned and seriously contemplated staying behind and giving up on the run for the day. But I shook my head and tried to focus, knowing a decent run would be the only way to clear the fog from my brain.

"I love you, too," I said and stood up on my toes to kiss him. I looked at his lip again. I was fairly certain there would be a scar.

Ari had spent the week before the wedding moving our clothes over from his parent's house, so I found my things in the closet. I threw on my favorite Cub's tee-shirt, one that I have had since I was fourteen, and a pair of running shorts. I found the Nikes that Rory had given me for Christmas and set out for a run, shoving my ear buds into my ears.

I was stiff and sore from the night before and the lazy morning, but as I ran, I began to loosen up and stretch out. My mind kept wandering back to our wedding and our wedding night. I had a foolish, happy grin stretched across my face. I reached a secluded part of the beach about a mile and a half into my run. I turned around in the sand and began my jog home to Ari. I had music playing loudly in my ears when, out of nowhere, I felt a blinding, radiating pain across the back of my head. My legs gave out, and as I fell I caught a glimpse of Kakos brother No. 6 holding a baseball bat.

No, no, no, not this. Not now.

My eyes blinked closed and I succumbed to darkness.

****

Little by little consciousness returned and I came to, feeling groggy, head spinning. With it came the certainty that I had been drugged. My thoughts were incoherent and jumbled. There was a dull ache all throughout my body. My eyesight was fuzzy and I blinked several times before being able to make out that I was in a dark basement of some sort. The cement floor was cold, dirty and damp. A small, rectangular window near the ceiling let in the moonlight.

The basement was empty except for a small TV plugged into a corner wall across from me. I was on the floor, my feet tied together with rope. My hands were cuffed around the pipes of a water heater and my mouth was covered in duct tape. There was nothing that hinted of escape anywhere within view.

"Ah, Ava, I was beginning to worry that you actually might not wake up."

I turned my head, startled, and saw a large, middle-aged man standing before me. He was bald on top and his belly protruded somewhat over his belt. He smelled of sweat and cigars.

"No need for introductions. I'm sure you know who I am and why you are here," he spoke with a slight European accent. "I am just so pleased, Ava, that I get to be the one to kill you. I cannot wait to watch you beg, plead and cry. Mostly I cannot wait to watch you die."

His eyes twinkled with delight.

"It's a shame, for you, that you killed my brothers. You will pay for each one of them, Ava, I can assure you. Really, you would have done better to let them finish what they planned for you eight months ago. You might have been able to avoid the torture I have in mind for you now."

My mind was going a million miles an hour. My eyes were wide. My mouth was dry and every muscle in my body was clenched tight.

I am going to die.

No. 6 took out a nine mm revolver and brushed the cold barrel against my cheek.

"Do you like games, Ava? Wait," he said putting the barrel over the tape on my lips, "don't answer that, because I don't give a damn what you like. But before I kill you we are going to play a few games. We'll start with a little video I want you to watch."

I swallowed hard, my brain racing as I tried to plan a way to escape, but I came up empty handed. I was stuck. There was nothing I could use to break free and no way I could overpower No. 6 to get his gun. I was going to die in this basement and Ari would never find my body. He and I would never laugh, never touch, never kiss again.

No. 6 walked the short distance to the TV in the corner, and turned it on. There was Ari. My first thought was that No. 6 had kidnapped Ari, too, but as the TV picture came in clearer, I let out a sigh of relief. Ari was at home, in our living room, sitting on a chair. His family surrounded him. He was on the news talking with a reporter, Celina Sanchez.

Celina began her report.

"Ava Alexander, formally Ava Baio, granddaughter of fashion icon Margaux Baio, was reported missing yesterday afternoon. Foul play is suspected. It is believed that Ava's captor is Damien Kakos, the last known of six Kakos brothers, five of whom have died in mysterious accidents this year. Damien is currently on the FBI's most-wanted list, for murder. Ava was involved in averting a kidnapping earlier this year that involved two of the now deceased Kakos brothers. Their bodies were found in the harbor, here in Dana Point, New Year's Day.

"Time is of the essence in this matter," Celina continued. "Damien Kakos is believed to be armed and extremely dangerous. Ava was last seen running at two o'clock yesterday afternoon along the southern edge of Dana Point beach. If anyone knows anything or has seen something involving her kidnapping, please report it to the police immediately.

"Beside me is Ava's husband of only three days, Ari Alexander. Ari, if Ava or her captor are out there listening, what do you want to say to them?"

Ari was pale and tired looking. He opened his mouth to talk, then stopped to regain his composure.

"Ava, I love you." Tears streamed down both his cheeks and mine. Ari was so exposed, so broken. "I am going to find you, Ava. I won't ever stop. You have my heart; I can't live without it. I can't live without you."

"Any words for Damien, Ari?"

"Please," he begged, "let her go. Take me instead, please."

No. 6 shut off the TV and turned back towards me with a wicked, sleazy smile.

"Ava, do you remember how you killed my first brother? You shot him in the head; blew his brains out." His smile grew larger.

"Well, that's what I am going to do to you. Only I can't decide if I am ready to let you die yet or not. Have you heard of a game called Russian roulette? I'm sure you have. See, I'm going to take this one bullet and put it in a chamber. One bullet in the gun; your odds aren't bad," he mused.

"Then I am going to spin it like this," he said, spinning the cylinder with his fat fingers. "Then I am going to aim it right here." No. 6 held the barrel up to my temple and beads of sweat began to trickle their way down my face. I screamed through my duct tape and pulled at the handcuffs, but in vain.

No. 6 took the gun off my temple.

"You seem scared, Ava. If you don't like my games, let me know and I will do as your husband requests. I will take him and let you go, just like that. At any point, if you choose to switch places with him, I'll take care of it. I know right where he is."

I frantically shook my head no and screamed, "Just shoot," through my closed mouth.

"Oh goody, I like your spunk, Ava; I hope you live past this first little game. I really do," he said, as he put the barrel back to my temple. My head flooded with thoughts of Ari. I wanted him to be the last thing I saw before I died. No. 6 pulled the trigger and I heard the click.

Nothing. The bullet had been in a different chamber. I let out a shaky breath and sobbed. My tears mixed with sweat and ran down my face. No. 6's smile was sadistic and scary.

He got up and turned the TV back on.

"It's on a loop," he said cheerily. It can run all night, just to keep you company."

He left me down in the basement tied up. I heard his fat feet pounding the floorboards above me. He was on the phone, talking with someone, telling the person on the other line about me, the gun and my cries. He almost seemed nervous. Who could make him feel nervous? I wondered briefly.

I sat in the dark, damp basement and stared out at the moonlight coming in through the little window on the far wall. The moon was full and luminous. It was taunting me, emphasizing the loss of my freedom, which was just beyond my reach. I was so scared, desperate and frantic. I kept trying to tell myself to think. Just think! but it was useless, there was nothing to think about. I could hardly move and I had no way to save myself. The only thing I had to cling on to was hope, the hope that Ari would find me. There was nothing left that I had any control over. Time dragged on and No. 6's footsteps as he paced the floor above ebbed and then stopped. At some point, my sobbing pushed me over the edge to exhaustion and I succumbed to sleep.

I was awakened in what must have been mid-morning by No. 6 tying a noose at one end of a heavy rope.

"Ah, Ava!" No. 6 exclaimed cheerfully. His eyes had a wicked gleam to them. He clapped his hands together.

"Day two! This game is going to be such a fun one! First, let's see what Ari said today."

He turned the TV on to show Ari and his family, along with Margaux and August, at a press conference, begging for my safe return. A huge reward was being offered for any news that would lead to my freedom. Detective Scott assured listeners that they were doing everything they could to find and rescue me.

"Don't entertain any false hope, Ava; they'll never find you," No. 6 interjected. "You are going to die here; I promise you that." He smiled broadly as he came over to me holding the gun in his hands.

He untied the rope around my feet and ordered me to stand. My legs were weak and stiff, but I did as he said. He unlocked the handcuffs, just long enough for me to separate myself from the water heater, then re-cuffed them back behind my back. My wrists were raw and tender. A few of my fingers were cold from the loss of circulation. He ordered me to stand on a stool that was directly below his hand-tied noose.

"Ava, you hanged my second brother. That was a sick and twisted thing to do," No. 6 said with a _tsk_ , as he tapped his greasy, sausage-like finger on the side of my head.

"You are going to have to pay for what you did to him," he added through gritted teeth, then turned nonchalantly and added, "unless you want your hubby to do it for you. My offer still stands."

I shook my head no and, after Damien slipped the noose over my head, he motioned to me to climb up on the stool. Without the use of my arms for balance, though, I simply couldn't do it.

"Stupid bitch," I heard Damien mutter and in the end, he had to help me. Finally I was on the stool with my feet as far apart as possible, my body swaying a little to keep my balance and the noose resting heavily on my chest. No. 6 threw the other end of the rope up and over a wooden joist above us and pulled the rope until the noose was tight around my neck. He secured it to an iron ring embedded in the wall behind him. If the stool fell over or if I lost my balance, my neck would break.

"Now listen, Ava... you stand on that stool all day and if you are still on it when night falls, I will come and let you down. If you squirm or scream, that stool's gonna tip or crack. And remember, if at any point you feel hopeless, as if you can't handle any more standing on the stool, do yourself a favor and just kick it aside. Your death will be quick and painless; you remember how long it took my brother to die, I'm sure."

Twelve torturous hours passed as I stood perched on that stool, my neck secured tightly in a rough rope noose, my wrists held firmly in metal handcuffs. My back screamed out in pain. The wobble of my knees got worse by the minute. Drops of blood oozing from the rope burns around my neck teased and tickled me all the way from my chest to my stomach. Images of Ari and me played on the TV all day. The national news showed pictures of us on our wedding day, candids of us in Montréal, and shots of us hanging out together on the deck in California.

News anchors and their crews sat around desks and talked about my life and my disappearance. Psychologists, police chiefs, anti-gun representatives and social commentators chatted back and forth in somber tones until I wished I could stick a leg down someone's throat. The number for the police station flashed across the screen as the press repeated the story every hour. I wanted to scream at them, "I'm right here! Please, somebody!" It wasn't long, though, before I tuned out all TV sounds and concentrated on the beating of my heart and the growing numbness of my calves. I was desperate and growing more broken and defeated by the minute.

Once again, I heard No. 6 as he talked to someone on the phone in what seemed to be a room directly above me. I heard him tell whoever was on the other end of the line that he had me tied up and that before too long I would probably just off myself. Responses echoed – the call obviously was on speakerphone – but the words were too muffled for me to make out what the other person was saying.

Worrying about exhaustion became less of a preoccupation as my body edged toward refusing to fight. My eyes kept fluttering closed and my legs became so weak that I could barely keep myself upright. At some point my bladder emptied and I felt the warm urine run down my legs. My body began relying more and more on the noose to stay upright. I pillowed my head on it and an inner voice kept telling me to let go, to accept the noose and let it end my life on earth.

Finally darkness fell, though, and with the rising of the moon, No. 6 came heavily down the stairs. He untied the rope and gestured at me to climb down; my numb legs gave out and I crunched down onto the cement floor like a rag doll. No. 6 reveled in my moment of weakness and kicked me repeatedly square in the ribs. I heard the crack of my ribs, my lungs begged for oxygen while tears rolled silently down my cheeks and mixed themselves up with my blood.

No. 6 laughed aloud and dragged my limp body back to the water heater. He undid my handcuffs and tied me back up, leaving my useless rubber legs un-done. He left me there as I cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke next, I had no way of knowing how long I had been unconscious. It could have been days, but it could have also been only hours. The window showed moonlight and I found myself faintly surprised that I had survived, that I was still alive and breathing. I had not had any water or food since my wedding day and I didn't know how long ago that actually had been. I was weak but also disoriented and silly. My mind refused to focus and my nose itched like hell. I had to blink my eyes several times before No. 6 turned from a blur into a man. He un-locked the cuff from my left wrist, yanked my arm toward himself and pulled out a very long, thin, sharp looking knife.

"You must have thought you were pretty cute, Ava, having yourself tattooed like this," he rapped on my tally marks with the sharp point of the knife. "Keeping tally of the people you killed," he whispered. "My family." Then, his face just inches from mine and his spittle showering me, he yelled, "Well, I bet there won't be a tattoo for me, you stupid bitch!"

He took his knife and began to slice my wrist open, just to one side of the main vein. He made a jagged cut, creating his own tally mark of sorts. The pain was searing and intense but still surprisingly tolerable, almost as though I had entered a different body completely and was watching the scene from an aerial view. I looked down on myself and at Damien as he worked on my arm. Slowly he moved the blade until he had made a two-and-a-half-inch gash up my wrist. Blood oozed out surprisingly quick and started forming little pools on the cement beneath me. There was so much blood on the floor and soaking into my clothes that I didn't see how I could survive. I was sure I had finally reached the end. This is how I am going to die. I squeezed my eyes shut, filling my thoughts of Ari as I slipped away into unconsciousness.

### Chapter 27

### XO

After coming to several hours later, I was once again surprised to still be alive. Thunder was crashing outside. Raindrops glittered in the moonlight as they slid down the little windowpane. Water was slowly seeping in through a crack in a distant corner, forming a puddle inside the basement. My eyes swept down to my left arm. My wrist had been sewn up quite professionally, but this time my wound screamed out in nearly intolerable pain. Opening and closing my hand or moving any of my fingers was nearly impossible. The basement was filled with a soft aroma that was oddly familiar, but I was too disorientated to place the scent.

There was a wet shoe print on the cement floor beside me. The print was drying and fading away. There were several little wet squares by the toe and, just barely still visible, a Swoosh from the bottom of a Nike tennis shoe. The footprint was too small to belong to No. 6, but it could have been from my own shoe. I looked down at my feet. They were dry.

What the hell was going on? No. 6 or someone had stitched up my knife wound. Did he want me to live or die? And did I honestly believe that the crazed, overweight, cigar smoking Damien could have sutured the slash on my wrist? Who had been on the phone with him? My fear was unlike anything I ever knew existed; I had always thought No. 6 would be the last of my problems. Now I knew there were more troubles out there for me. The word panic didn't even begin to do justice to my state of emotions. I was so completely helpless. If not for my determination to keep Ari safe, I may have begged for death already.

In the midst of my pain and confusion, No. 6 appeared again and greeted me with a sick, deranged smile smeared across his sweaty face.

"Oh, Ava, you have got to see this," he said, breaking into my thoughts and carrying on like a giddy schoolgirl as he turned on the TV.

"They had a vigil for you last night and they lit these lanterns in the sky; the whole town was there. Here, I'll just shut up so you can watch."

With his newly effusive mannerisms, No. 6 seemed to have crossed over the line into psychotic behavior, but everything he said was true. People stood on the beach outside the home Ari and I had slept in just once, holding candles and watching as paper lanterns took flight into the starry sky. The scene was very beautiful. Friends and family and neighbors covered the whole beach, more people than I had ever known would care about me. As the newswoman talked, one camera zoomed in on Aggie. She was crying and taking solace in Andy's arms. Lauren and Julia rested their heads on each other's shoulders and Thais and Gianna stood silent, hand in hand, as they let a big, golden lantern float up into the sky.

Another camera scanned on Margaux briefly; she appeared to be screaming at someone on her cell phone. August was there with Nick and Nick's friends, Collin, Misha, Rachel and Nigel. They stood next to people from school that I had known so briefly. Sarah Kros, the girl I had met on my first day at DPI was there with her mother; they had been at our wedding and they appeared to be beside themselves with grief.

Everyone from the 12th floor was there. Even Mrs. Bea, my former piano teacher, held a small lantern up toward the sky, ready to let it go. Finally, a camera found Ari. He and Rory sat together, on the beach. Ari's head was in his hands while Rory had an arm wrapped around Ari's shoulder. Rory had tears in his eyes. Seeing them was more than I could handle and I was relieved when the video was done and No. 6 turned the TV back off.

"Wasn't that something?" No. 6 said, nodding his head enthusiastically. "Oh, where are my manners? I am sure all of this rain is making you thirsty."

My eyes grew wide. I shook my head no.

"You'll drink or I'll kill you," he said, smiling widely while cocking his gun. No. 6 ripped the duct tape with force from my lips. He unlocked my right hand from the metal cuff. "Or you can see if Ari wants a drink..." No. 6 set two glasses full of clear liquid down in front of me.

"One of these is cold, clear, purified water. The other," he laughed, "isn't. You choose, but do it now," he said holding the gun to my temple, "or this time I will blow your brains out."

I quickly looked at each glass of water. The light that filtered in from the small window showed that one was slightly more clouded than the other was. I grabbed the clearer looking glass and swallowed the liquid all in one gulp, closing my eyes while I thought of nothing but Ari.

"What a good girl," No. 6 applauded. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?" He poured the second glass of water out on the basement floor, re-taped my mouth, locked my hands back up, and then left me there.

I sat there alone for hours desperately racking my brain for an escape. I was too weak to cry and too tired to sleep. I thought of Ari, knowing that he was thinking about me too. I wondered if he had slept or eaten. I pictured in my mind his family trying to console him while holding back their own tears.

Time passed slowly and was marked only by the coming and going of the moon. Hope was lost to me. I knew this was my end and I began to make my peace. I prayed for forgiveness for the lives I had taken. I told my mother, my father, Mia, and my Grandpa Perry that I would be with them soon. I thought of Ari to make the time before my death pass more quickly. I pictured in my mind every detail of his perfect face, his smile and his remarkable eyes. The way his hair felt when I ran my fingers through it and the way his mouth tasted like mint. Ari was burned into my mind, my memory, my senses, so much so that I felt as if we were one. No matter what may happen to me, I could never, while still breathing, forget him. I would die holding on to every moment we had shared, every kiss and every whispered "I love you."

No. 6 came back to me the next day at dusk, pulling me back again from my drifting thoughts. He un-locked my hands and took a seat next to me. He pulled out a simple, silver zippo lighter from his shirt pocket.

"I have been looking forward to this one all day," he said with a laugh.

My mouth went dry and my legs began to kick while No. 6 gripped my hand with all of his strength, nearly crushing the bones. He flipped open the zippo and held my fingertips, one by one, over the scorching hot flame. I screamed through the soggy duct tape and my body jerked and shrunk back, but he did not relent. My flesh turned bubbly and bloody. I slammed my eyes shut in an attempt to block out the pain. I filled my eyelids with Ari.

My torture went on for several minutes and I gave up on life and opened my mouth to beg for the coup de grace, I was ready for my mercy kill. I stopped myself from begging for death when I heard the tiniest click against the cement floor. I forced my eyes open, saw that No. 6's phone had slipped out of his pocket, and lay there unnoticed by him. I kicked at him hard and gave a loud distracting scream as I used my free hand to slide the phone underneath me.

No. 6 continued with his merciless torture, but the pain lessened as he burnt the flesh away to nothingness. I didn't care. I was renewed by a flicker of hope. He left me there with my feet tied up but my mangled hands were left free to bleed. As soon as I heard the door at the top of the stairs close behind him, I grabbed the phone and forced my bloodied fingers to pull up a text box. I punched in Ari's number and typed in one little letter "X" then hit send. I waited a few seconds and got the response I was looking for -- a tiny "O" shot up on the screen.

I quickly deleted the texts and wiped it clean on a part of my shirt that had not yet been stained with blood. I slid the phone against the floor and it came crashing against the TV in the corner. Moments later, No. 6 came barreling down the steps in a frenzy. I lay on the floor, in the fetal position, my eyes partially closed, pretending not to have ever noticed the discarded phone next to the TV. No. 6 grabbed it and breathed a sigh of relief. He ignored me and headed back up the stairs. I let out a breath of my own and waited in the heavy silence for what felt like an eternity.

I watched what was left of the orangey daylight slowly disappear. The moon peeked in as it began its inexorable trek across the horizon. The quiet was deafening. Midnight came and went and I began to lose my flicker of hope. Like a candle at the end of its wick, I was sure to burn out. If Ari didn't find me within hours, he would be too late. No. 6 had tortured me for each brother I had killed and there was nothing left for him to do but to choose my manner of death and then follow through with it.

I could feel myself slipping away from pure exhaustion, starvation and dehydration.

Time limped. Then something new. I thought my head was pounding when I first heard the thumping in my ears, but as the noise grew louder, I could see the glass in the tiny window begin to tremble. After a moment, I realized that it was not my head that was pounding but the chopping of helicopters. My heart began to soar. The sounds of screeching tires came next, then a man's voice rang out over the entire house. The small basement window kept shaking.

"Police! Damien Kakos, come out with your hands up!"

Forcing my raw, bloody hands to untie my feet from their complicated knots, I pushed myself into a half crouch. Legs shaking, knees trembling, I forced my body to move. I made my way to the basement stairs where No. 6 kept his baseball bat, grabbed it and pushed my body up the steps. No. 6 stood at the top with his gun pointed straight at my head. I lifted the bat, rushed up two stairs and swung hard, sending the gun flying behind him. He charged at me but I was ready for him and I brought the bat across his temple. I didn't have enough strength to knock him out, but I had enough to slow him down.

I tossed the bat aside and I made my body run through the house, holding on to the walls for support, leaving streaks of blood on everything I touched. At last, I found the front door and barreled through it.

White lights instantly blinded me and I came to a sudden stop at the top of the steps. I blinked several times and pulled my arm up to shield my eyes from the light. The front lawn was covered with swat teams, police cars, ambulances, fire trucks, and news media. There were helicopters in the sky and all the beams from all the vehicles and flashlights were shining on me.

Several people yelled out, "Hold fire," at once. I was scared, like a deer in headlights. My hands trembled and my knees shook. I didn't know which way to turn. Then I saw him \-- Ari, running up, pushing himself through the crowd. My world stood still. I let out a breath and took a shaky step towards him.

The moment I moved toward him, I saw Ari's face change from worry to horror and immediately after, a rushing pain spread across the back of my head. I fell to the ground. My eyes closed without my consent as gunshots rang out all around me.

###
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Cat Mann is an Illinois author who writes teen and adult romance. She is happily married to a genius of a man and together they are raising two beautiful daughters.

With her dog at her side, Cat obsessives over French music, witty films and lengthy novels.

Cat's books have been listed on numerous Amazon bestseller lists, including the Amazon Top 100, Literature & Fiction Fantasy Based Novels, as well as being a top contender in Mythology & Fairy Tales.

To find out more about Cat's projects and get dates on upcoming releases, find her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/authorcat.mann and follow her blog, http://authorcatmannblog.blogspot.com/.

