 
When my guy Joe Sleazy died, I was right on time
to find the line with the other guys trying to buy
the prophet's right to dine and lie with 35 wives
using tithes for a house for the lion to lie
The voting was feeling kind of Sidney Rigged
until I spit religion like Joseph Smith
I wasn't transfigured, 'cause that's a myth
But I don't correct the record, I don't give a shit!
Uncle Sam tries to mess with my family plan
so I'm traveling West to be a handy man
I have a handful of families in my family clan
My dandy son wears a dress, but I'm a manly man!
Adam is the father of Jesus Christ
He lives near Kolob with a million wives
Follow me there for eternal life
I put the dick in dictator, yeah I'm always right!
Here is the church, here is the steeple
Here is a myth about crickets and seagulls
My priesthood keys appease my people
When I see 'em on their knees 
I put my key in their keyhole
All the little girls that I'm going to wed
get to learn the Deseret alphabet
They're def repressed but they're suffragettes
This is the place I get my noodle wet!
I may be nasty in the head, 
I don't go flaccid in the bed though
I say to her: I wanna massacre your meadow
Then get in the kitchen and make me some bread dough
Can blacks have the priesthood?
I say HELL NO
God says negroes are the seed of Cain
They'll only get to heaven if they go as slaves
Whites are more righteous, that's why we reign
If you interracial marry then you gotta be slain!
Scheming lying sons of demons 
trying to upheave the region
blaspheme all that we believe in!
Get my knife I'm gonna cleave 'em!
Tell my wives that you'll be grieving 
if you ever cease conceiving
If you leave that is a sin!
I'm fingering my javeline
My homie Porter Rockwell will knock your socks off
Pop lock and drop ya and he'll chop your block off
If you break your covenants I won't try to stop ya
If you find yourself in hell it's 'cause he probably shot ya
Damn it feels good to be a prophet
A real seer ass prophet gives thanks
'cause he owns all the property of the church
Yeah a seer ass prophet makes bank
And all I gotta say to you wannabe gonnabe pioneers with your deep pockets
When it's time to count your tithes
I'll be getting drunk on rye
God damn it feels good to be a prophet!
