Hi.
I’m Mike Rugnetta, this is Crashcourse Mythology
and today we’re talking about another hero.
One who eventually becomes a god.
A demi-god.
Which is another way of saying semi-god.
Kinda.
Anyway, it’s our old friend Herakles!
Who some call “Hercules”: sometimes a
man, sometimes a god, but always a guy who
really knows how to rock a lion skin, right
Thoth?
[[Thoth in lion skin]] OH NO I MEAN - you
look really good too!
Very heroic.
INTRO
Herakles has a reputation for being kind of
a brute.
All brawn, no brain.
But… remember when we talked about Herakles
in an episode on tricksters?
Remember how he tricks Atlas into holding
up the sky forever?
He may be buff, but Herakles sure ain’t
dense.
Though, he doesn’t always makes the best
choices.
Sometimes Herakles is his own worst enemy.
Even worse than the hydra, and that was a
pretty bad one!
But let’s not get aHEAD... of ourselves!
Like many heroes, Herakles had a miraculous
birth.
Zeus, God of lightning bolts but not consent,
takes a liking to Alcmene, the queen of Thebes.
Zeus transforms himself into the form of the
king, Amphitryon, and sleeps with the Queen.
Nine months later Alcmene gives birth to two
boys, Iphicles and Alceides.
One of them is Amphitryon’s son, and the
other is Zeus’.
But oh DIVINE BOYS - which is which?!
This is how sitcoms get started.
When Hera finds out about this debacle ‒ yet
another Zeus-ian infidelity ‒ she sends
two revenge serpents to Iphicles and Alceides’
cribs.
When the king and queen rush in, Iphicles
is crying and Alceides is holding the two
serpents, strangled in each of his tiny baby
hands.
Mystery solved, I guess!
Alceides would later become … Herakles.
Alceides is raised as a prince of Thebes,
but he’s a bit of a problem child.
His godlike strength keeps getting him into
trouble.
At one point, he gets so mad at his music
teacher that he smashes a lyre over his head
and kills him.
This is the last straw for Amphitryon, and
the king sends the dangerous demi-god princeling
away to tend sheep.
As a shepherd, Herakles gets to put his great
strength to use.
A monstrous beast named the lion of Citharion
had been terrorizing the cattle of Thespios,
king of Thespiae.
When Herakles catches it and slays it, Thespios
is so overjoyed that he allows him to take
one of his fifty daughters to bed each night.
[PAUSE] Gross..
Eventually, Alceides moves back to Thebes
and marries princess Megara.
They start a family, and things begin to settle
down.
Despite the earlier adventures, though, THIS
is where we get to the turning point in Alceides’
life: suddenly, he goes mad.
He takes his three children, and two of his
nephews, and burns them alive.
There is some ambiguity here in the story,
whether this madness was Alceides finally
giving in to his wild nature, or whether it
was caused by a vindictive Hera, who can really
hold a grudge.
But either way - when Alceides comes to his
senses he implores an oracle for help.
The oracle tells him ‒ appease Hera.
Change your name to Herakles.
And to atone you must travel to Tiryns, and
allow your rival, King Eurystheus, king of
Tiryns and Mycenae, to set your punishment
for killing your children.
This is the beginning of the ten labors of
Herakles.
Yup, ten.
Don’t worry.
We’re gonna get there.
When Herakles arrives and tells Eurystheus
what he’s done, the king of Tiryns gives
him a set of impossible tasks.
These ten labors will take Herakles far and
away, confronting all manner of monster.
And if he succeeds, he won’t just atone
for his family-murdering, he’ll also be
granted immortality.
These are the heroic tasks that made Herakles
famous, let’s count them off.
ONE - THE NEMEAN LION
Harkening back to his days as a lion-slaying
shepherd, Herakles’ first labor is to go
to Nemea and kill a monstrous lion.
This lion’s skin can’t be pierced by arrows
or spears but Herakles doesn’t let this
stop him ‒ he puts the beast into a chokehold
and strangles him.
CHECK!
Herakles must then defeat the Lernean Hydra,
a swamp dragon with nine heads.
Everytime he slices one of the heads off,
two grow back in its place and before long
Herakles is practically drowning in craniums.
Luckily, his nephew Iolas (who somehow managed
to avoid the nephew killing-by-fire from earlier),
brings Herakles flaming torches.
The torches cauterize the dragon-neck-wounds,
preventing the hydra from multiplying.
Herakles kills the Hydra, dips some arrows
into its bile, y’know: just in case, and
returns triumphant.
But, Eurystheus tells him: this isn’t Herakles
and Iolas’ ten labors ‒ you can’t get
outside help.
That one doesn’t count.
Second labor: DISQUALIFIED.
For his third labor, Herakles must capture
the gold-horned Hind of Ceryneia.
ALONE.
It’s tough, but after some chasing or trapping
(depending on which version you prefer), Herakles
snags the Hind.
CHECK!
Next, Herakles must go to Psophis and kill
the giant Erymanthian Boar.
On the way he stops at the cave of the centaur
Pholos and ... accidentally kills him with
one of those Hydra-bile soaked just-in-case
arrows.
After burying the centaur, Herakles traps
the Boar and takes it to Mycenae.
CHECK! but also rest in power Pholos.
So far, all of Herakles’ labors have been
giant scary beast related.
For this fifth labor, Eurystheus tells him
he must ... clean out the stables.
Of Augeus, King of Elis.
Augeus owned 3,000 immortal cattle and hadn’t
cleaned his stables in 30 years.
Thats’ about 650,000 pounds of immortal
dung.
YEAH WE DID THE MATH.
Herakles agrees, and says to Augeus ‒ “If
I manage to clean all this out in a single
day, will you agree to give me a tenth of
your immortal cattle?”
OOOOOO TRICKY HERAKLES IS BACK
Augeus agrees, and instead of grabbing a dung
shovel, Herakles goes upstream and diverts
two nearby rivers through the stables.
The water washes out the years of dung in
minutes.
Augeus, who thought this labor was impossible,
bails on their deal . Herakles takes him before
a judge and wins the case.
But, Augeus flies into a rage and banishes
him before Herakles can claim the cattle.
Herakles returns to Eurystheus empty-handed,
only to have Eurystheus announce that this
labor didn’t count because Herakles tried
to get paid for it!
Fifth labor: DISQUALIFIED!
After the immortal-dung-debacle, Herakles
is back to wrangling monstrous animals.
This time, in Arcadia where he must drive
away the Stymphalian birds.
Herakles scares ‘em off with just a pair
of bronze castanets.
Sixth labor: CHECK.
Easy peasy.
Birds hate castanets!
[[THOTH SHOWS UP WITH CASTANETS, DRESSED AS
A FLAMENCO DANCER]]C’mon Thoth - you’re
an Ibis… not a FLAMENCO.
Herakle’s seventh labor is to capture the
rampaging Cretan Bull.
Which he could do this in his sleep at this
point.
Seventh labor: no sweat CHECK!.
Next , Herakles has to go to Thrace to capture
the man-eating mares of Diomedes.
There’s a lot of different versions of this
one, but they all end the same way...
Eighth labor: CHECK!
Herakles’ ninth labor is to fetch the belt
of Hippolyte, queen of the Amazons.
At first, Hippolyte agrees to just give Herakles
the belt.
But then Hera starts a rumor that Herakles
has come to kidnap Hippolyte, and the Amazons
jump him.
In the ensuing struggle, Herakles kills Hippolyte
and takes her belt.
Ninth labor: CHECK!.
Hippolyte, we barely knew thee.
Just one labor left, but there were two disqualifications!
For Herakles’ final three labors, let’s
go to the Thought Bubble:
The tenth labor takes Herakles far to the
west, to Erytheia, where he must seize the
red cattle of Geryon.
On the way, Herakles is so angry about how
hot the Sun is that he aims his bow and arrow
at it.
The Sun is so impressed with Herakles’ bravery
that he gives the hero a golden cup.
And not just any cup.
A magic cup!
That’s also a ship.
After Herakles kills Geryon and his herdsman
and his two-headed guard dog, he uses the
cup to transport the cattle back across the
sea.
But then they escape and he has to chase them
all over Europe.
When Herakles finally gets them to Eurystheus,
the king sacrifices them to Hera–thats labor
ten CHECK!–and tells Herakles ‒ okay,
you screwed up twice.
Here are your two make up labors.
Labor eleven is collecting golden Apples from
the nymphs, the Hesperides.
This is the one where he tricks Atlas into
helping him.
He also frees Prometheus.
You how this turns out: CH-CH-CH-CHECK!
And the twelfth, and final labor is to travel
to the Underworld and bring back that damned
doggo Cerberos, Hades’ three headed guard
pup.
Herakles travels to the land of the dead,
where Hades happens upon Herakles and tells
him ‒ you can have Cerberos, but only if
you can defeat him without any of the weapons
you’ve brought.
Herakles agrees, snags Cerberos around the
neck and chokes him into submission.
He drags the dog to Eurystheus, gets him to
sign off on the final labor––CHECK TO
END ALL CHECKS and then returns Cerberos to
Hades.
Good boy, Cerberos.
And nice work Herakles.
Thanks Thoughtbubble.
After all that adventuring, Herakles manages
to complete his ten-turned-twelve labors.
While this is Herakles’ most famous story,
it’s far from his last adventure.
He gets married again.
That’s right…no happily ever after with
Megara.
Disney lied to you.
Eventually, he even manages to achieve that
elusive immortality.
Though, at a great cost.
Well after his twelve labors, Herakles is
crossing the river Evenus with his new wife
Deianeira.
The ferryman, a centaur named Nessus, tries
to rape Deianeira midstream and Herakles kills
him.
But with his dying breath, Nessus tricks Deianeira
into preparing what he tells her is a love
potion that she can use if Herakles ever loses
interest in her.
Sure enough, Herakles later falls in love
with Iole.
In order to win him back, Deianeira soaks
his shirt in Nessus’ “love potion” AKA
and of course a horrible, horrible poison
because what else would it be NESSUS WAS CLEARLY
A BAD GUY.
Herakles puts on the shirt, and dies an extremely
painful death, burning on his own funeral
pyre.
Finally Zeus tells Hera, hey, enough is enough
and sends Athena down to make Herakles immortal
and bring him to Mount Olympus.
So Herakles becomes a god and gets to live
on Olympus.
Right near Hera.
… Yay?
So... what makes Herakles, a screw up and
a child murderer, such an enduring hero?
I mean as demi-gods go, the guy isn’t exactly
a role model.
He sleeps around.
He loses his temper and kills people.
The ancient world seemed to love him for the
variety and excitement of his adventures.
But what do we do about Herakles today?
Herakles presents a real problem.
He’s been given power and strength and brains,
all courtesy of creepy, absent, irresponsible
father, but he still has to struggle to live
an ethical life?
Maybe we don’t have to fight hydras.
I hope we don’t.
Well, I definitely hope I don’t.
Yet we all have to work to try and live with
each other respectfully and responsibly.
We can’t rock a lion skin, but maybe we
can rock that.
See you next time for the last in our hero
series - about Ma’ui.
You’re welcome.
