

# The Rainbow Maker's Tale

## Melanie Cusick-Jones

Copyright © 2013 by Melanie Cusick-Jones

This edition copyright © 2014 by Melanie Cusick-Jones

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover.

www.cusick-jones.com

www.melcj.com

For my parents, who taught me about the wonderful worlds that live inside books and answered my random questions about 'The Egyptians' and acid rain...

Thank you, for always being there for me.

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

Albert Einstein

### Chapter 1

It was days like this when I felt it more than ever: I wasn't a real human.

Was today's air staler than normal?

Perhaps, subconsciously I detected a musty note to the oxygen that was moving through my body, and that caused the day to start on a sour note...? Or – more likely – it was because pretty much every day I struggled to feel like a human being. I just hid it from myself better than I was doing today.

Generally, I believed I hid most things well, myself included. The ability to be invisible in a small room filled with people was a talent I was confident I had perfected during my seventeen year existence on the Space Station Hope.

Existence!

I laughed harshly when I realised the word I had chosen: not _living_ , merely existing. I acknowledged the distinction grimly. _Ugh_. I was feeling bitter this morning.

The alarm from the viewing screen chimed melodiously. Normally it would have brought wakefulness, but I was already awake today. The sound was simultaneously piercing and soothing to my disturbed mind. I sighed. It was _definitely_ going to be one of those days.

"Balik?"

I heard Mother's voice call out to me as she passed through the corridor outside my room. Her accompanying knock was a reminder for me to get up, get dressed, come for breakfast, leave for school... It didn't particularly matter what it meant: it was always the same knock and I always obeyed. Today's knock meant _get up_.

Kicking away the thermocontrol sheet that had shrouded me as I lay in bed, I knew I was taking my frustration out on a harmless, inanimate object. It didn't stop me doing it though and I huffed as I pulled myself into a sitting position.

Why was I so annoyed this morning?

There was a part of me that hated the angry beast that dwelled permanently inside me – waiting to make itself known. Another part of me relished the familiarity of the feeling that enveloped me when it reared its furious head. Of all the human emotions I was familiar with, anger was the one I most particularly disliked, but was also the one that permeated my moods most frequently.

Screwing my eyes tightly shut I breathed slowly in and out, in and out. The air pulled deep into my chest as it filled my lungs – stale or not I couldn't decipher – and cooled the heat of my temper. When I opened my eyes again I was calmer, controlled, and ready to face the world. Or at least, face my parents.

Entering the living space I glanced around me. Our apartment pod looked exactly the same as it always did: polished white and cream plastic walls; empty chairs arranged neatly around the table. I looked around for a sign that Father was here, but didn't see any. That wasn't a surprise. I was _lucky_ if I saw him more than once or twice a week. Who would have thought that working in the Family Quarter's Engineering division would be so time consuming. Certainly not me, but on the plus side of things, it gave me one less parent to deal with.

My regulatory breakfast sat waiting for me, its perfect balance of fibre, carbohydrate and vitamins familiar, as it beckoned from the otherwise empty table. As always, Mother was there, waiting for me. Today she was standing in the kitchen staring out of the window.

"Good morning Mother," I greeted her politely, as I scraped a chair away from the table and took my seat, trying to ignore the awkwardness of the uncomfortable grating noise in the silent space. She turned slightly and appraised me with curiosity, as though my words had alerted her to something that I was unaware of.

"Good morning, Balik," she replied, after a second or so more of staring. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine, thank you."

I focused on the breakfast plate in front of me as a distraction, inhaling the familiar smell of the food. In truth I felt blank and a little numb now that my earlier anger had passed. All I had left was another day of _existence_ to look forward to. But, feeling empty was not unusual for me, and a blank mind was a regular feature of my life, especially around my parents.

I had no solid reasoning or tangible evidence for my conviction that certain people on the station could understand things about me, when I had never spoken them aloud. As irrational as it was – usually I was the most logical of people – this was what I felt...what I _believed_. It had been a long time since I had allowed myself to think and feel freely when I was in the presence of anyone else.

My rational mind could only construe that the expression of my face and the meaning between my words gave away much more than I wished to divulge when I spoke to anyone. As I had grown older and found secrets that I wanted to keep to myself, it had forced me to stop speaking...then I had stopped thinking... Only _I_ knew about the lies I had found, and until I had worked out why we were being lied to, then I had to hide what I knew. It was only when I was alone that I was free to be as angry and frustrated as I wanted. _What a wonderful person I was!_

"Are you worried about your examinations?" Mother's voice was soft and probing, as though she could sense something about me but couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

Her question caught me off-guard and I froze for half a second, my fork part way between my plate and my mouth. It wasn't often she made conversation with me, especially in a morning; usually she would hover around until I had eaten my meal and taken my vitamin pills. Then she would leave for another day of work at The Clinic.

What made today different?

Nothing was immediately apparent and so, shaking away my question, I answered hers.

"Not especially." It was the final day of the school exams, but the worst was behind me, just History that afternoon and then I would be free.

_Well, free of school at least._ I wasn't sure I could ever be truly _free_ on the space station given all the limitations we had. But, that was a whole other aggravation.

I glanced up and saw that Mother was still standing beside the table, her eyes fixed on me: she wanted more. I swallowed noisily.

"My least favourite subjects have all been done and they seemed to go well enough."

"One of my colleagues at The Clinic said most of the leavers are going to Park 17 when the exam is finished. Will you be celebrating with your friends afterwards?" Mother's eyes remained unblinkingly focused on my face.

It surprised me that she didn't already know the answer to this – partly due to her uncanny ability to guess correctly things about me that I thought were well concealed – but more because it was so obvious from my lack of social interaction with anyone. I didn't have friends.

It made me wonder whether Mother truly knew how good I was at making myself invisible among my peers, or why I might be doing that in the first place. But then, most of the time I didn't really understand my behaviour myself. It wasn't logical or planned, it just happened that way. Why should Mother understand me, when I didn't understand myself?

I was an outsider. I was unhappy with the guarded and restricted existence we led on the space station, but too scared to reveal my true feelings that were so at odds with everyone else around me. They all seemed happy with their beautiful cage and didn't want to see beyond the bars. The problem was, that I _did_ look. And, when you stared into the shadows, things here felt...wrong.

Shaking my head slightly, I dismissed the thoughts that were whirling through my mind and refocused on Mother's question. "Probably not," I muttered.

After searching my half-empty plate for answers that did not appear, I left it at that. I could tell Mother was dissatisfied with my response, but satisfied that there was nothing more I had to say on the subject. Returning to normal, she hovered at my shoulder until I'd finished my food and taken my vitamins. I was grateful that she let the silence open between us once again, uncomfortable though it was, it was better than the alternative of having to converse with one another.

* * *

Many historians pinpoint the start of the rapid decline of human civilisation on Earth to the year 2045. What is significant about this date and the subsequent events of the period; particularly their environmental and geopolitical impact upon the human race?

The final question of the examination glared at me from the viewing screen. Of course, we needed _another_ reminder of why we were here! A deeply resentful sigh escaped through my tightly pressed lips. To me it sounded like it filled the silent room with sound, but no one turned around to look at me for making too much noise. I must have been as quiet as ever.

What was I supposed to write about?

The acid, churning in my stomach, told me that I didn't want to write about how climate change kick-started a chain-reaction of global events, which collectively led to the destruction of the human race on Earth in the late twenty-second century. I couldn't face writing another essay on how our ancestors sleepwalked into destroying themselves: I'd spent most of my life doing that! Why were we still writing about this stuff, four generations on? It was as though we had to be told over and over and over again, just how stupid human beings were.

Ignoring the question, my gaze drifted above the glowing letters and I focused on the heads of the people sat in front of me. Every one of them was tilting their face toward a viewing screen, deep in concentration with an automatic discourse headset perched neatly on their head. My classmates looked industrious, bland and indistinguishable from one another.

The uniform appearance of my contemporaries – in my eyes – was despite the random accessorising of their clothes. It was ironic: the trend was specifically aimed at expressing their individuality, but being individually identical seemed an odd concept to me. The girls would tie their hair at random angles, so that it stuck out from their heads like architectural features. The boys focused on wristbands, brightly coloured belts and – at the moment – coloured streaks in their hair. Of course, making your hair green or blue all over would look stupid, but a single stripe of colour above your ear – what could look better? I shook my head. Their differences only reinforced their similarity.

In the next instant – for no reason I could accurately explain – I felt compelled to be different from my classmates. I yanked the automatic discourse headset off, as if it had suddenly become white-hot, and tossed it towards the holder on my desktop. I didn't bother picking up the headset up or re-arranging its position, when it bounced uselessly against the plastic frame and came to rest untidily beneath the screen.

I rested my chin in my hand and slouched forward. It wasn't going to help me answer the question on the screen, but right now, I could think of nothing better to do. It was my last exam anyway, I was pretty sure I couldn't fail at this point.

I found my gaze drawn to the only one of my classmates that I ever paid any attention to. Cassie sat in front of me – two desks forwards, one to the left. Her hair hung down her back. It was natural – beautiful, I always thought – without any silly colours or structured additions. Cassie's only concession to the fads of our classmates was a slim yellow belt, circling the waist of her pale blue day-suit. Other than that, she was just like me. Of course, she paid me no attention, being as generally unaware of my invisible presence as my other classmates.

But, I was aware of her – always aware it seemed – as though I had some uncanny sixth sense when it came to Cassie. Mainly it was irritating as there was no real basis for the fascination. Other than the fact that, nine years ago, Cassie had been singled out for special attention by my only ever friend, I had never found anything about her to be truly different to the rest of them. Now and again, I would get the feeling that there _might_ be something different about Cassie, but it had never come to anything more.

That's hardly surprising – you've barely spoken ten words to her during the twelve years you've shared a classroom!

"Thanks," I muttered back at myself. I didn't need a sarcastic inner voice to remind me that there was no wonder I couldn't understand Cassie – I could barely understand myself.

A movement to my left brought me back to the reality of the exam room and my eyes gradually re-focused on what I had been staring at. Cassie had just removed her own automatic discourse set and placed it carefully down onto the plastic holder. The motion of her arm was what I had noticed through unfocused eyes.

At first, I was engrossed only as a distraction. I watched as she pressed her fingers against her temple where the headset had rested a moment earlier. She massaged the spot slowly, as though it were painful. It struck me how odd her actions were: the discourse units were supposed to be absolutely non-invasive when they extracted information from your mind and relayed it into the computer system, they shouldn't be painful at all.

Perhaps there was something else wrong?

I was willingly caught up in the diversion and close to forgetting about the unanswered exam question flashing away on the screen, slightly to the right of where my attention was focused.

Not being stupid or in complete denial, I knew that on some level I found Cassie attractive. Her dark brown hair fell in soft waves to somewhere near the middle of her back and I had often wondered what it would feel like. Cassie had interesting green eyes too, which I knew glowed more brightly when she was happy and laughing with her friends. She did this freely and often, but never with me.

There was keen intelligence behind Cassie's eyes. They moved rapidly when considering the world around her, taking in all the important details; they would narrow slightly when she was grasping something critical or complex. In my opinion – unvoiced of course – Cassie was frequently more astute than she allowed others to see. I often wondered why she wanted to hide that. Perhaps, if I'd ever spoken to her I might have been able to work that out...

There was a flash of white as Cassie moved her arm again. Her skin was fair: much paler than mine, although the colour had a subtle creaminess to it. I always thought of it as _never having seen the sun_ , which of course it hadn't living on the station as we did. Neither had I, but my skin always held a warm, golden brown glow – very different to Cassie's. It was the visible mark of my heritage of ancestors who had lived in the hotter areas of the Earth.

There was more movement in front of me.

Cassie appeared distracted herself, peeking around at our classmates, whose illuminated faces were trained in concentration on their screens. Everyone was focused on the task at hand. Everyone, that is, except me. I remembered this a second too late. Cassie's head swivelled in my direction and her sharp green eyes locked onto mine.

Damn!

I turned my attention back towards the screen where it should have been focused. As I did so, I registered mild confusion in her questioning expression. Pulling the keyboard towards me, I thumped the keys randomly, as though I had just paused a few moments to collect my thoughts.

Don't be stupid! I scolded. My childish behaviour made me feel embarrassed and I shoved the keyboard away. It might have been a long time since I had actually spoken to anyone, except my parents, but surely I could communicate with someone better than this? It was obvious I had been watching Cassie, I should just have smiled...or shrugged...or both, to show it was nothing – just normal, exam boredom. Now I looked guilty, and probably a bit weird as well.

Deep breath, I told myself. Don't be an idiot, just glance back now and if Cassie's not looking at you like you're a complete freak, smile then get back to work. That's how a normal human being would behave.

OK, I agreed. Second chance.

Peeking back towards the spot that had held my interest a few seconds earlier, I was slightly deflated to see that Cassie's attention had already returned to her work. My well thought-out plan was only half a minute too late to be any use. Story of my life! I shook my head, irritated with myself and amused by my irritation in equal measure.

Turning away, I glared at the un-started question blinking insistently on my monitor. Beneath were the several lines of nonsense I had typed in my hurry to appear like a normal human being when Cassie caught me gazing around. Very normal, I observed dryly as I deleted the text, tapping the backspace key harder than necessary in my annoyance.

Another loud sigh escaped my lips as I resigned myself to the task at hand. Despite my earlier confidence, I knew that – at a minimum – I had to pass this exam to graduate onto the sequence of placements that would determine my long-term role on the station. The subject of History itself was not the problem; my interpretation of past events in my current frame of mind was the bigger issue. I supposed that part could not be helped: I pretty much lived in this frame of mind.

_The decline of human civilisation on Earth_ ...

We still existed! Why were they always asking us to look to the past and not what lay ahead? Why did we not learn about what our future might hold, beyond the stifling walls of the Family Quarter – perhaps even beyond the walls of the Space Station Hope itself? I shook my head, dismissing my own questions. It was not the time or place for answering those.

My hand hovered uncertainly over the keyboard, debating whether to strap on the auto-discourse headset or to actually use the more antiquated equipment in front of me. In the end, I decided I needed a bit of space for my thoughts and that might be better achieved with the keyboard. Pulling the lightweight panel towards me and settling myself properly into the chair, I leaned back and began to answer the last question of my final exam.

### Chapter 2

I was re-reading my answer – perhaps _diatribe_ was a more accurate description – on the reaction of the human race to climate change and global upheaval. My essay definitely had a bias towards the surveillance states and population control that had developed in response to global warming. It was not a positive picture of humanity and I wondered how much my recent irritations with life on the station had influenced this. Or, how much the behaviour of our ancestors was the source of my frustrations with life on the station. It was open for debate either way.

"Testing period ends in five minutes."

I did not look up to acknowledge the familiar electronic voice when it made the announcement. The room was quiet now: only Cassie and myself had been using the manual input systems, and been given the extension to the normal examination period. Our classmates had all left twenty-five minutes ago.

Finished with my own review, I turned my attention away from the screen. There was nothing else in the empty room to focus on and so I absent-mindedly watched Cassie as she skimmed through her answer. She paused every now and again to make a correction.

Cassie had just flopped backwards in her seat, stretching out her arms and shoulders as though she were particularly stiff, when our screens closed down and the exam ended with another announcement from the speakers. For a few seconds I remained in place, before realising that Cassie did not appear to be in any hurry to get up. I wasn't about to change the habit of a lifetime and start being chatty, so decided I may as well get out of there.

Hastily shoving my chair away from the desk, a piercing screech tore through the silent room and I cringed internally. _How loud?_ Unsurprisingly, my lone companion was shocked by the noise and jerked around in her seat to stare at me. I had already moved quickly – motivated by embarrassment – and was by the door when it occurred to me to apologise for startling her.

"Sorry," I muttered as quietly as I could, whilst still allowing Cassie to hear me. My voice carried easily in the otherwise soundless room, although the silence following my apology seemed loud by comparison.

I busied myself with gathering up my possessions as a distraction, hoping to escape as speedily as possible. It took me a few seconds to realise that Cassie was actually talking to me, not allowing me to be invisible as I normally was.

What was she saying?

"...forgotten I wasn't alone in here...brain is half-asleep..."

Only half-hearing Cassie's words I thought it sounded like _she_ was apologising to me. _What would she be apologising for?_ That can't be right, I must have misunderstood what she'd said.

Looking up, in an attempt to work out what she was saying, I saw that Cassie was standing beside her desk now. She waved her arm towards her viewing screen, but she'd stopped speaking – I had no idea what she had said.

_What did that mean?_ I was more confused than ever. Feeling rather lost, I opted for a non-committal nod, which would hopefully not mean anything stupid or offensive.

I was wrong – whatever she had taken it to mean – my nod was not favourably received. Cassie's eyes narrowed slightly, as though I had irritated her, although I couldn't see why such a simple action as a shrug would have that effect. Her expression changed swiftly once more and I saw she was trying to disguise her initial annoyance.

Cassie was the one person I would have a reason to talk to and this was not how I would have wanted the conversation to go. I opened my mouth with the intention of apologising again. Maybe even admitting that I hadn't actually heard what she'd said in the first place, if it made things better. It was already too late. Cassie's eyes had drifted away from me to focus on the floor instead and she began making her way towards the door.

Surely I could work out how to say a couple of sentences to a random girl in my class? It wasn't exactly rocket science! I wished it was, because I was darn good at astro-engineering. Fidgeting nervously with the strap on my shoulder bag – trying to make it exactly straight across my body – I debated saying something else, but the words stuck in my throat and so the silence remained. I was so out of practice interacting with other people.

_Stop squirming!_ I was frustrated with myself now. At the silent command my hands dropped uselessly to my sides. I was about to leave the room when I noticed Cassie's school sack sitting on the floor beside my foot and spotted an opportunity. Swooping down, I slid my hand fluidly through the arm loops on the bag, lifting it quietly from the ground. This might be a chance to make amends for whatever offence I had caused a few moments earlier.

"Here you go," I said as politely as I could, trying to convey my courteous intentions as I held out the bag towards Cassie.

She looked up – appearing surprised by me again, but perhaps more positively this time? Her eyes flickered to mine and held my gaze.

It was the first time we had ever stood so close together, and I was near enough now to see the green irises of her eyes spark as they conveyed disbelief...then gratitude...softening to something else I couldn't translate. I hadn't seen the expression before, on Cassie's face, or anyone else's for that matter – my lack of understanding being a by-product of my lonely existence.

"Oh!" Cassie exclaimed, her eyes flashing once more. "I mean – er – thanks!"

We waited a second or so in silence. Cassie appeared a little nervous herself now and took her time making up her mind what to do next, before she reached out and took the bag I was still holding for her. She swung the strap onto her shoulder so quickly it almost smashed into the viewing screen next to her. I nearly laughed aloud as her expression rapidly registered shock, then embarrassment – dropping her eyes from mine – before she regained control of her features. My mouth twitched into a half-smile that I was unable to disguise by the time she looked back at me and for once – feeling bold and brave – I didn't look away, but met the full force of her inquisitive eyes.

Cassie was an interesting person to read. Her features remained largely still with only minute movements and changes to her eyes indicating what she was thinking, or perhaps feeling. I was already aware of her expressive eyes, but was surprised by how much more I could read in them now that she was standing a mere arm's length away. She opened her mouth once, preparing to say something before she seemed to change her mind. My mouth twitched into a wider smile as I waited for whatever it was she wanted to say; I was quite enjoying the effect my presence seemed to be having on her. It was...new.

Only a few short moments passed, but I was aware of her gaze roaming curiously across my face, meeting my own eyes fleetingly, before darting away. "Thanks," I heard her mutter once more. It was less than I expected after such a long silence and I struggled to interpret how her words connected with the changes in her expression. I had no time to dwell on this as Cassie reached past me to activate the door panel, a clear indication that she wanted to get away.

_No_.

I was taken aback by the firmness of my unuttered statement. I didn't want our _non-conversation_ to end – I wanted her to stay. Without thinking I spoke up, finding my old voice after years of silence. It was the voice that wasn't scared to be heard, that didn't want to remain invisible – I hoped that Cassie would stop and answer.

"What did you think of the exam?" My words rushed out in an eager half-jumble. It worked. She paused and turned back, but did not look at me properly.

_What does that mean?_ So much was inferred by Cassie's body language, but I was so out of practice at speaking with someone, I had no way to translate any meaning beyond what she actually said.

"Not too bad really, but who likes exams?" She smiled, shrugging lightly at the same time, as if dismissing her own words.

Her response felt slightly unnatural, like it was an automatic reply. I was still processing this, when without thinking I blurted out the first thing that came into my head.

"I quite like them." I admitted and then shrugged, unconsciously mimicking Cassie's previous movement before I could stop myself. I was speaking just to fill in the gap and realised that I was saying what I thinking, without pausing to edit. Now, I had to say something more to try and explain myself, but as I hurried on I just knew I was making it worse. "It's something to do with the pressure I guess – and I kind of enjoy the feeling of testing yourself – "

Not the right thing to say, I realised. Cassie's mouth had dropped open and she stared at me like I was crazy. Even though I regretted my unrevised honesty, I couldn't leave it alone. My first thought was that I had to make amends, but I wasn't sure how. This whole experience was highly confusing for me. Cassie's reactions were not at all predictable.

"Are you OK?" I asked, finding my voice finally. It was all I had to offer.

For a few seconds Cassie did not answer. I had to admit, it might have been a lame thing to confess, but I couldn't see what was so horrendously offensive about liking exams, to justify her continuing shock. Even if Cassie did not agree with me, it was hardly the worst truth I could have told her. I had plenty of others that sounded more crazy than true, even though they were actually real. As Cassie hadn't left the room, I could only assume that she was planning to respond...at some point.

"Yes – sorry," she replied at length, her lips curving into a small contrite smile as she spoke.

I frowned. Again, I did not understand what she would be apologising for and curiosity was about to force me into asking when she continued.

"It's just that I actually _do_ like exams, pretty much for the reason you just said but I've never thought that anyone else might feel like that and so I would feel stupid saying it."

"Oh right..." I was unsure how to respond to her admission that we had something in common. I certainly had not expected that. Then I heard her words again in my head; she felt the same way I did, but thought that she was stupid for doing so? That didn't make sense. As I was mulling this over I repeated her words aloud to myself: "...you would feel stupid saying what I said..."

"No – not stupid," Cassie interrupted immediately, attempting to explain I thought. " _It's_ not stupid – it just surprised me to hear you say _it_ , I guess." She was struggling.

"You don't tell people the truth," I observed, my words sounding brusquer than I had intended them to, although the fact remained: she said one thing but meant another, based on what someone might think of that. It was an interesting reversal of my own behaviour: I stayed quiet and behaved one way, when in reality I wanted to do the complete opposite, based on what people would think. I wanted to run and scream and fight, but I didn't.

I was so preoccupied by my private musings on this that when Cassie replied her voice surprised me. I realised I'd spoken aloud – not just inside my head, as I was used to doing – and it had obviously offended her.

"No – I mean yes – I do tell people the truth. That's not what I said."

Her tone was defensive: she must have heard the bluntness in my unintentional observation and taken it as a criticism of her behaviour. It wasn't her fault; it was mine. It was a statement of fact uttered by someone who hadn't conversed with anyone – except himself – for a very long time. _How many misunderstandings could you get in one, short dialogue?_

"I didn't mean to imply that you _lied_ to people." I tried to clarify my earlier words, finding it hard to meet Cassie's angry gaze. As I searched my suddenly empty brain for some something more, my nervous fingers sought a diversion and found the strap of my bag as they had before. They began ineffectually fiddling with the plastic clasp, whilst I mumbled and stuttered incoherently. "I just meant that you said something as though it was how you felt when you don't feel that way at all...I mean..." Words failed me. "Oh forget it, I don't know what I mean!" I tried to step past Cassie and escape into the empty corridor outside. This whole conversation was a mistake! I berated myself angrily. _You're not right for this place – and you don't truly believe that she has answers to anything, that you don't already know. Just stop this nonsense and leave!_

"Don't worry about it," I heard Cassie murmur as I passed. She sounded cautious, but forgiving, not annoyed. "I think I know what you meant."

My feet paused, ignoring the previous order to leave.

Was there more for me to consider?

I had to acknowledge that this young woman had an effect on me. Her anger made me apologetic; her forgiveness made me happy. I smiled slightly, recognising a sensation swelling inside me that had lain dormant for a long time. Then I felt sad, understanding what I had actually become during these last few years of my existence. My quest for the truth overshadowed everything, and everyone.

The emotions and thoughts I suppressed around others on the station had moulded me into this empty vessel that moved alone through the routine of my daily life. But, the truth of this had eluded me until now. In the presence of this girl, I literally _knew_ that I had been empty, because in that moment I became aware of a peculiar feeling inside me of filling up. Something nervous fluttered vaguely in my abdomen, matching a sensation of expansion in my chest that was not physical, but strangely _other_. It had taken me years to subdue, but a few short sentences spoken with her and I remembered something human about myself that I had repressed in pursuit of something else.

_Maybe the final answers I sought lay in what I had hidden, and not what I found around me?_ It was an interesting idea, and one I had certainly not explored before. For this reason alone, it might be worth talking to Cassie.

"I think I know what you meant too," I said, feeling oddly confident as I turned back towards Cassie. With my new objective clear, I intended to prolong our encounter as long as possible and ignore the part of my conscience that told me not to.

"Where are you going now?" I sounded casual, not even having to work at being nonchalant.

"Now?" She seemed confused, as though she were uncertain of what exactly I was asking of her. I thought it best to clarify.

"Well – as much as you _love_ examinations, I assume you don't intend to spend the rest of the day in the assessment room. Do you?" I was teasing her I knew – but it didn't feel impolite, more comical – another smile began playing cheekily with my lips as I waited for her answer.

Cassie responded similarly, her tone mocking. "I don't know – I do really like it in here..."

To my surprise, I found myself briefly entranced as her green eyes flared brightly on meeting mine, and I had to roll my eyes – acknowledging her joke – to pull myself free of them.

"I'm heading over to Park 17 – most of the other classes end up there for a bit of a wind down after the last exams." She said.

_The park...others...her friends..._ I nodded in understanding.

Right then, I probably should have walked away. My only reasons for speaking with Cassie were selfish, and it wasn't fair to use a real, live person as part of an experiment. I hated feeling like that myself, so how could I do it to someone else? I could pretend this was for my own good: that reaching out to someone, one last time, might be beneficial, before I left the Family Quarter forever. That was a lie – and I _hated_ lies.

Logically, I knew that we could not be friends. Since Scarlett, I had not allowed anyone to get close to me, and now – with what I was planning to do – there was no point. Trying to be friends, for the sake of information, might get Cassie into trouble, or even risk putting her in danger.

Knowing that all of this was true – why did I not leave right then?

"Do you mind if I walk with you?" I heard my voice speaking the words. It was an afterthought when I assured myself it was _only_ a walk.

"Of course," Cassie accepted.

I caught myself thinking that her voice sounded eager as she answered. That was even worse: why would I be hoping for that?

Standing aside in the corridor to make space for her, Cassie stepped out to join me and we walked away from the classroom side-by-side. I found myself glancing at her, examining her features when I believed she wouldn't see me. Once or twice I thought I noticed her doing the same thing, peeking carefully at me through her curtain of dark hair.

"Ahhhh," I sighed loudly. I couldn't help myself: as we emerged from the dimly lit building into the bright, _almost_ natural daylight of the late afternoon, I felt immediately better.

"What was that for?" Cassie laughed, regarding at me with interest.

"The sunlight feels so good after being trapped in that little room," I grinned back, before turning my face upward to fully capture the warm glow. It was nice to share something – even such a tiny truth about myself – with someone else. Realising this was a surprise.

My eyes closed and I focused for a few seconds on the hot pinky-red colour of my eyelids, as they were backlit by the afternoon sun. I inhaled deeply.

"And here's me thinking that you _love examinations_ ... _Trapped_ doesn't make it sound like you enjoy them that much."

Cassie was teasing: throwing my own words back at me. It made me smile again.

"That's just the room, not the activity," I explained, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight on my face too much to turn away from it. My guard was clearly down because when a question ambushed me a moment later I repeated it aloud before I could stop myself. "Don't you find that living here is just..." I struggled for the word, trying to tie down what the feeling I had was, "...claustrophobic sometimes?"

As soon as the words had passed my lips I regretted them. Why would Cassie find the world as negative a place as I did? In the same instant, another thought struck me: now that I had said this aloud to someone else, I wanted to explain myself. The compulsion to do so was undeniable.

"Even out here, I feel it sometimes." I looked at her now, the warmth from the mirrors forgotten: I wanted to see her reaction to my feelings. "Perhaps it's because I know that when I look up and see the sky, that it is not really _the sky_ : there are no clouds, no stratosphere and troposphere, nothing... Just thousands of mirrors, precisely angled to follow the path of the sun as we orbit around it and recreate day and night as though we were still on Earth. It feels real, but I know that it isn't and so that feels _wrong_ somehow..."

Cassie watched me closely, listening intently it seemed, as though she were truly engrossed in what I was saying. "Don't stop," she encouraged when I paused. The intensity of her voice was persuasive, but I felt unsure now. My earlier confidence was fading fast and revealing my thoughts unedited no longer seemed as appealing as it had a moment before.

"Sorry – I have a tendency to waffle once I get going – you don't need to listen to my morose views on life here," I sighed, reining myself in. My attempt at nonchalance hit a false note and I wondered whether Cassie would notice.

"Don't be sorry. It's nice to hear you speak," she said.

It was obvious that _she_ was the one who was speaking without thinking now, surprising herself as well as me I thought. Cassie blushed attractively, blood pooling beneath the soft, creamy skin of her cheeks as she struggled to explain her words, clearly trying to take back what she had just openly admitted. I suppose it was a little mean of me not to step in and save her the effort, but again I selfishly found myself enjoying her unease, hoping that it was more to do with me than it probably was.

"What I meant is you're normally so quiet – "

She sputtered to a stop and I could see her mentally revising her words before she continued. I decided it was too cruel to leave Cassie scrambling for apologies and so I turned away before she looked at me, feigning indifference to make her feel better. It was a struggle to keep the smile from my lips, but I managed it.

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, moving through the late afternoon pedestrians meandering on the plaza, each of us preoccupied with our own thoughts. I paid little attention to the people milling around – reverting to my normal behaviour in company – with the exception that I was thinking for once. Right now, I was thinking about the pretty girl walking by my side.

Now that I was focused, I realised that the comfortable silence was no longer so simple. Long ago, I had been told that Cassie held answers, before I really knew what the problems were. From everything I knew of her, that seemed doubtful, but at the same time, it felt a shame to waste the short time I would have with her. I wanted to know more. If I could, I'm sure I would have wanted to know _everything_ – I always did – but that was never going to be possible. I settled for the first question that came to mind.

"Why don't you use automatic discourse in your exams?"

"I don't always use the keyboard," she disagreed. "I was using the headset today."

A new wariness crept into Cassie's eyes, and I watched her for a moment; mildly surprised that such a simple question would make her seem so on edge. I might not be good at reading body language, but I definitely got the feeling that she didn't wanted anyone noticing her behaviour as being _different_. It seemed odd, and in my experience, being odd usually meant something.

"Not for the whole exam though – what made you change?" I pressed on, looking for an answer.

"I just like to use the keyboard for answering certain types of question." Cassie shrugged casually, as though to convey that it was nothing.

"What types of question?" I couldn't harness my curiosity. Then, found myself wondering if perhaps Cassie's reaction wasn't wariness, but irritation. Why _did_ I always have to know the answer to everything? I was so annoying.

"It's usually the longer, essay-type ones. I find it easier to arrange my thoughts in my head and then type them out, rather than trying to organise and regurgitate them simultaneously. I find myself doing that with the headset sometimes."

Cassie answered me – irritating as I perhaps was – and I realised that she actually seemed to enjoy responding to my odd questions. I was busy realising this, not expecting her to turn the focus back onto me.

"What about you? I noticed you using the keyboard this afternoon – "

How do I answer this? Honestly?

Well, to tell you the truth, Cassie, I was daydreaming about how – out of pretty much everyone I've ever met on the station – you hold a particular fascination for me, which I've never been able to understand. Instead of answering the exam question, I was pre-occupied with completing an in-depth assessment of the creamy appearance of your skin, but then you turned around and saw me and so I pretended to be typing, so you wouldn't think I was weird. Or, even worse, a bit of a stalker.

No. The truth was not an option.

Keep it simple, I told myself. "I've seen you use the keyboard in the past and wondered why – just thought I'd try it." Accompanied by a relaxed shrug, I was sure I looked the picture of casualness.

"And?" she encouraged, her eyes widening to emphasise the question.

"And..." I echoed her drawn out tone. "Once I got used to it, I found that it helped keep thoughts clear in my head for answering the question, especially once I was planning out more complex arguments." I was slightly surprised to find that my excuse was not actually a lie. Perhaps using the headset wasn't everything it was made out to be.

"Do you enjoy history?" Cassie asked as soon as I finished answering her last question.

I thought she seemed genuinely interested...well, honesty was fine for this one I supposed.

"Yes, but not like you do." I forgot myself and answered a little too honestly; my knowledge surely revealing the particular interest I paid to her likes and dislikes. _Stalker_ , I accused myself again.

"What do you mean?"

Of course my odd knowledge was confusing to her – it baffled me – I tried to be dismissive, back to being casual and thinking before I spoke this time. "Nothing bad, just that I always got the impression it was one of your best subjects, along with Literary Studies..."

Apparently Cassie accepted this simple explanation. "And yours would be Astro-engineering I take it?" she replied.

Her familiarity with _my_ preferences startled me; perhaps I was not quite as invisible as I thought? Don't flatter yourself, I scoffed, you've come top of the class every year; she'd have to be pretty obtuse never to have noticed that! Ignoring the pragmatic voice, I spoke truthfully once more, wanting this stranger to understand something about me – something _real_.

"Engineering is probably my best subject, but I think my _favourite_ is Biochemistry." I told her.

A small groan of aversion escaped Cassie's lips and at first I thought I had said something wrong – _how could I have offended her?_ – then I saw the expression on her face and remembered that they were probably the least popular subjects for everyone else at school, why would Cassie be any different?

"What's the matter? You're good at both of them!" I laughed lightly, causing her to grimace even more.

"I get by," she amended. "Don't get me wrong, I find both of them interesting, but neither of them is a natural strong point for me."

"You know what's funny?" I realised suddenly, speaking my thoughts aloud as my feet froze mid-step – walking and talking seemed a little difficult for me today.

Cassie paused too, curious once more. "What?"

"Our parents have exactly the same jobs and had their children at the same time, but you and I are quite different." _Surely our genetically similar backgrounds and upbringings by parents working in the same professions would have generated some similarities between us? Even our basic academic preferences appeared at odds with one another..._

Cassie was regarding me with confusion, she didn't appear to be convinced by my observation. "Why would that make us alike?" A dismissive shrug accompanied her words and I realised that she did this more than I'd ever noticed before: she repeatedly shrugged to down play her words or opinion. _Was she less confident than I'd always thought?_

Pushing this observation aside, I answered her question, trying to explain myself. "Well, just that with the whole nature/nurture thing, you would have expected some similarities, but it seems we're quite different."

Cassie moved off, apparently satisfied with whatever information my limited answer had given her. She had walked a few steps ahead of me before I reminded my own feet to move as well. With a couple of long strides I fell back into step beside her, content to simply walk beside her and remain silent for a while. I focused on my feet, padding along easily next to hers and lost myself in blank musings.

The time passed far too quickly and the next thing I knew we were entering Park 17. Curling over the entrance to the park, the archway – designed in the style of heavy Victorian ironwork, but made of plastic – felt odd and contrived to me. The familiar stirrings of irritation swirled in my stomach as I noticed this.

Crossing into the park, our footsteps made a new sound as the pathway changed from plastic to wood. It was constructed from the trunks of banana trees that were grown in the agricultural sector – its purpose purely decorative and intended to give the sense of a home none of us had ever known. I couldn't imagine that the use of wood for this purpose was accurate: it would not have been durable enough to survive the natural elements on Earth for long, nor did it match the images I'd seen of Earth cities or settlements. As usual, the lack of authenticity aggravated me.

Looking for a distraction from the acidic thoughts beginning to bubble in my mind, I quite gladly turned my attention back to Cassie.

The features of her face seemed relaxed as she watched her own feet, examining the wooden pathway we were clumping along. She was still lost in her thoughts. I wondered whether she saw something different here than the frustrating artifice I did and I found myself eager to know what absorbed her thoughts so completely.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked gently, not wanting to startle her. It didn't work and Cassie jumped at the sound of my voice. Turning abruptly towards me as though she had forgotten my presence altogether – easily done I'll admit, given the effort I normally put into being invisible – Cassie began silently interrogating me with her eyes. In the first instance she looked apologetic, but that rapidly melted into the same unidentifiable expression I'd noted earlier. She was so confusing to me. There were questions in her eyes that I longed to understand, but it seemed she was in no hurry to make them known. The light rose that blossomed on her cheeks as she blushed at some unknown thought surprised me. _Huh – that was attractive_ and _frustrating_ ...

"Can I ask you something?" she finally replied, preventing me from bursting with impatience.

I nodded quickly, not trusting myself to speak without my eagerness leaking through. She'll think you're completely crazy if you don't restrain yourself, I warned sternly.

Cassie's face scrunched up as she concentrated – apparently searching for the words to articulate her question. For a moment I was distracted by how cute she looked when she did this, before my impatience began to leak through again.

How hard can it be to ask a question?

At length, Cassie found her words.

"Do you ever feel like you miss the Earth? Even though you've never been there. Do you think it's possible – or even normal – to miss something you never had?"

Her green eyes sparkled now, inquisitive and eager to know my answer and I almost lost myself in them. I'd never had Cassie's friendship – her attention – before now, but I knew that when I left the Family Quarter I would miss _her_. I would miss something I'd never had.

But, did I feel the same way about the Earth...?

Pulling my gaze reluctantly away from Cassie I focused blankly on the park around us, before lifting my eyes upwards as I pondered her question and considered how truthful or not I should be. Not that it matters, I reminded myself of my earlier promise: this is a one-off. You won't need to see her after today.

"I _think_ it's possible – likely even – to miss our original home. I wonder if it's the same as the way I think about the sky: because I know it isn't real, I find it disappointing. None of this is _real_ – unlike Earth – and so it becomes false and you miss the reality."

"But, do you feel like you _miss_ the sky?" Cassie's insistence made it sound as though I'd answered the wrong question. "Do you miss the sky as though there had been a time when you sat beneath it to watch cloud patterns spreading over you, or marvelled at a great expanse of sapphire blue, unmarked by anything else...?"

While I thought for another few seconds – trying to clarify what she was asking me – I couldn't help smiling. Her tone was so endearing and wistful when she was talking about this; it made her sound like she was from another time, another world.

"Is that funny?" she asked, sounding unsure as she noticed the expression on my face.

No, not funny. I shook my head.

It appeared that was not enough. Cassie's eyes remained fixed onto mine, demolishing my defenses, and when I spoke again all I could do was be honest.

"I was smiling because you sounded...happy or free or...something..." My voice sounded almost as wistful as hers, and I was unable to really find the words I was looking for. Nothing more came and so I rushed on without thinking. "I don't know – when you spoke like that – you sounded like one of the romantic poets expounding on the beauty of nature asking me if I missed the _hot and copper sky, the bloody sun at noon_."

Poetry?! I instantly scoffed at myself as the words passed my lips and I had to look away from Cassie. _You're quoting poetry at this girl?_

I know...I know...I almost muttered my frustrated response aloud, but not quite. But yes, quoting poetry to someone you've barely ever spoken to...it was obvious I had issues – far too many to mention!

I waited nervously. Waited for Cassie's laughter, or confusion, or... _something_. There was just silence. _Shocked silence?_

"I'm surprised you remember that kind of thing so well," Cassie said at length.

She sounded normal, perhaps even slightly impressed I thought. Even so, I couldn't look over to meet her gaze to verify whether she had me pegged as crazy or smart.

"So..." Cassie continued. "Do you actually _miss_ the sky, or is it something else?"

I smiled once more, as I became sure that I hadn't ruined the conversation with my openness, and answered her new question. "It's the reality I miss – or crave is probably a better description – I want to _know_ what it feels like to truly be human. I want to live on the planet that created us, rather than floating around a few hundred miles away from it in space. We came from the dust of that place and I want to feel the same dust that created us beneath my feet."

"But there's nothing left!" She was shocked. "When the expats came aboard the space station they were the last humans who were going to survive. The rest were...doomed!" Her voice faltered at the end, as though her initial reaction was being re-considered as she spoke.

That was not what I had meant. I wasn't thinking that I actually wanted to go back to the desolate Earth that our ancestors had left behind to protect us. Just that the _reality_ of what had existed there would be natural for us to crave. If Cassie reacted so strongly to this, how would she feel about some of my more radical notions about what was and was not right about the community we lived within?

I thought it best to appease her for now – make the most of our conversation while it lasted, as it would be the only one – and so I steered us away from this contentious topic. "I suppose you're right. Anyway, that's all a bit deep for a post-exam conversation, don't you think?"

"Yes," Cassie looked relieved that I was not going to press the issue.

"What are you going to do with the holidays?" I enquired, opting for a nice, safe topic. It was not something I would normally be interested in – my ability to make small-talk was extremely limited – but once I'd asked the question, I realised that I might actually be interested in Cassie's answer. Until she pulled a face that is... _How did I manage to keep getting it so wrong?_

"I've not got any holidays. I'm going straight to my first work placement with my parents," she revealed. "There was the option to start the rotations early if you were going for placements in the medical or engineering fields. Seeing as I had to do both, I thought it would be better to start sooner – more practice, or something like that."

This calmed my initial doubts that I had said the wrong thing again. Cassie was not happy with the situation, rather than me. This realisation prompted me to laugh – at myself, of course for jumping to conclusions – but then I had to disguise it as a reaction to her words. "Why the face – it can't be that bad can it?"

"No," she admitted, although I got the feeling she was holding something back still. She shrugged dismissively – a sure sign that she meant something more serious than she was about to say. "It's me being a whining teenager I suppose. It's just as you get that bit older you realise that you're going to become your parents one day – in some way, shape or form – and that's quite scary. Going to work alongside them makes me feel as though it's the first step on that slippery slope!"

So, Cassie was scared of turning into her parents? That sounded truthful enough and the awkward smile that appeared on her lips as she said this convinced me of it even more. I felt like Cassie had told me something she'd not shared with anyone else before – I couldn't be sure of course, but I'd never seen her look sheepish when I'd watched her with her friends – and the thought of that made me intensely happy. "I suppose you're right." A grin stretched my face as Cassie laughed with me.

We were still walking. Cassie was so close beside me I could feel the warmth of her body as my arm brushed past hers. It was hard for me not be distracted from this but I was, because I just realised that this would be the end of our conversation. We were close to the centre of the park now, and a short distance away from us a group of young people were sitting around enjoying an afternoon of freedom. They were _our_ classmates, but her friends. I would not be joining them.

Unwillingly my feet slowed not wanting to leave her, but unable to go on further. One or two members of the group looked up as they recognised Cassie approaching – both of them boys. It did not surprise me that their faces wore particular expressions of interest.

"Are you not joining them?" Cassie asked, noticing my pace slowing.

I hoped I heard a trace of disappointment in her words. _"No, I've got a better idea – why don't we go somewhere else – just us..."_ I wanted to say, but of course I didn't. I couldn't. One time only, remember.

"It's a little...crowded for me." I said instead, smoothing my face into a mask so that I could not betray myself any further. This had been a mistake – a pleasant one, but a mistake nonetheless.

"You don't have to go," Cassie murmured as I was preparing to leave. I barely heard her words: my mind was elsewhere now, disengaging rapidly as I planned my escape.

"I have to get home," I replied flatly. No other excuses presented themselves and it seemed pointless to even try. I was already walking away. "I might see you on work experience if you're with your parents." I knew that I wouldn't. I wasn't taking an early rotation. "Bye Cassie." It was an afterthought...a final polite farewell to close the conversation...you can't finish without saying goodbye.

"Balik?!"

I heard Cassie call my name and pushed my feet faster, moving me away as swiftly as I could without running. If I turned around, I wasn't sure I could actually control myself.

Did she call out to me again?

I couldn't be sure, but thought I heard my name a second time. Raising my hand briefly in farewell, I continued in the opposite direction and did not look back at Cassie.

### Chapter 3

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I scolded myself viciously as I stamped in the opposite direction than the one I really wanted to go in. My feet made dull _thump_ sounds against the plastic pavement as I went, angering me even more. The noise reminded me I was in a fake world. It reminded me of why I shouldn't be talking to Cassie.

STUPID!

A woman I rushed by jumped away from me looking startled, as though I'd shouted the words aloud, yelling them into her bland, emotionless visage. The furious expression on my face must have been frightening to elicit such a strong reaction from someone. Immediately I fought to regain control of my facial muscles, forcing them back into place, reverting to my usual neutral mask.

I was so angry! _Why did I even open myself up to temptation?_ I had no answer to that question. I had no answer! And that rankled, just as much as my irritation at allowing this lapse in my well-cultivated behaviour. There was no point in any of this. It was too late.

Well, I can make up for it now, I muttered silently, knowing that there was no reason at all for me to have to speak to Cassie ever again. I'd spent long enough living inside this stupid resin world – alone – to need her company now.

What could she possibly know about the SS Hope that I didn't already?

I immediately dismissed the question. I could not imagine Cassie holding the key to the secrets of the station I had tried to unlock, no matter what Scarlett had believed. No. I should never have tried talking to Cassie. It was over.

To reinforce my stance on this matter I made a mental list of reasons why that was the case: school was over, so no more classes with her; we both lived in the Green Zone, but never saw one another outside school...or rather she didn't see me, it wasn't perfectly true that I never saw her... _Stop it!_ I shouted, immediately aware that I was straying from my original objective. Another woman turned to stare at me as I went by, her expression clearly shocked. It was strange, just as before it was as though I'd yelled the words out loud. I shook my head distracted as much by her odd behaviour as I was with thoughts of Cassie. Shaking my head to clear my mind, I continued with my list.

We were both due on placements at The Clinic and within Engineering, but they would not be at the same time. I thought back to our conversation: Cassie had applied for an earlier residency to give her longer at each place, whereas mine was on the standard rotation and not due to start for another three weeks. The image of her face rose in my mind, her features creased into a frown, unhappy at the prospect of starting at The Clinic early.

There was nothing I could do about that, I reminded myself, as an involuntary desire to help her swelled inside me. It was frightening how much I had already allowed this stranger to exert a hold on me. No. There was nothing I could do, I repeated firmly. _Unless I changed my plans_ ... My subconscious ambushed me with this errant thought, immediately tempting me from my planned course.

No, I repeated firmly.

There were plans I had made and preparations already undertaken. I was resolved to continuing with them. Even though I had only formed them more fully in the last three weeks since the accident with the viewing screen, the basic idea had been developing in my mind for a long time: since another _accident_ nine years earlier...

Park 17 was far behind me now and my feet slowed to a more normal walking pace as my anxiety lessened. I did not want to look out of place amongst the other pedestrians. There were more people filling the avenues and squares now, as the station inhabitants began to finish work and filter homeward. With an upward glance, I confirmed my guess that it must be about 5.00pm: the mirror-sky was still bright and clear, showing no sign that the slow progression towards night had begun. At 5.30pm the artificial daytime would begin its retreat: the mirrors high in the ceiling of the space station rotating slowly away from the light of the sun, many thousands of miles away, and allowing the darkness to take hold. But, for now there were no shadows between the buildings, and I needed somewhere to hide out.

I barely noticed the buildings around me as I passed by. To my eyes everything was the same here: blank and characterless, made of the same pale, strong plastic resin as virtually everything else on the space station. For all the difference it made, I could be walking by apartment blocks, municipal buildings or even pavement, turned on a ninety-degree angle and run up the walls. It was all the same and it was _all_ built on lies.

You can't walk forever, I reminded myself. That was true. Sooner or later I would walk into a boundary wall, or perhaps a checkpoint that lead out of the Family Quarter and into the Married or Retirement Quarters. But, I couldn't pass through any of those, could I? The laugh that bubbled up my throat, acknowledging my painful joke, was more a strangled cry; and like most of the emotions I ever felt, I swallowed it, locking it back inside me, unseen by the world around me.

_Stop!_ It was a command to myself. I didn't need to wallow in self-pity, I needed to do something productive. For the first time I looked around me – _really_ looked – and recognising the buildings nearby, I realised that I had not automatically run towards home, in fact, I had gone in the opposite direction.

_My second home_ ...I laughed silently to myself as I continued walking – consciously now – towards my favourite place on the whole space station.

I wanted time. Time alone to get myself refocused on the plans I had been making for as long as I could remember. And I wanted time to push away the distracting thoughts of Cassie that kept ensnaring me as I ran away from her. One conversation changes nothing, I reminded myself firmly as the Red Zone Clinic and centre of the residential hub rose into view ahead of me.

On a whim I turned back across the plaza, taking a shortcut. Today I wanted time alone, without questions and prying eyes; I wanted more time than a brief trip to a park would give me. I needed _real_ space, and to get that space I would need to lay a false trail.

_Paranoid_ , I accused a split-second after deciding on my route.

I didn't care – I _was_ paranoid. Since the incident with the viewing screen, when I found the hidden transmitter, I suspected I was being watched all the time. It was probably stupid to feel this way, but I couldn't help it.

My increased suspicion was the reason I had resurrected one of my old experiments. When I'd first understood the properties of the item – that now sat securely in the pocket of my day-suit – I'd found it exciting to think that I had in my possession something that could manipulate one of the operating systems on the station, though I'd never put it to much use before. During the last three weeks it had become my constant companion.

In all honesty I'd virtually forgotten about this tool until I'd found the second receiver inside the viewing screen in my bedroom and became conscious of the fact that all my conversations (not that I had many) were being transmitted to an unknown communication system within the station. But it was the first thing that sprang to mind when I'd realised I would want to be able to move around without being tracked by the scanner system if I was going to explore the issue further.

Being nothing if not thorough, on discovering the problem with my viewing screen, I had decided that further investigation was required to determine whether mine was the only screen that had this unusual secondary system connected to it. This was very unlikely in my opinion due to the fact that there was obviously a wider network that my viewing screen was connecting into and I doubted it would have been created solely for me – or by accident. But opinion was not fact and so following good research practices – as I always did – I knew I would need to verify my initial findings and put my hypothesis to the test.

But getting to other viewing screens, without being seen or tracked, would have been impossible. To confirm my suspicions, I needed to get at other screens, dismantle them and check their contents. That's when I'd remembered my earlier discovery...

From a certain age I found myself left alone quite a lot by my parents. They seemed content that I was not engaging in any dangerous activities – although that was often not the case – and were inclined to leave me to my own devices. I didn't mind this at all, though I suppose for some people it would be upsetting to think that your parents didn't actually like you very much. I was reasonably indifferent on this point: they seemed to find being in my company as difficult as I found being in theirs.

With all this freedom, what was I going to fill my time with?

That was easy. I investigated and searched, planned and experimented, with anything and everything I could find. There were no friends to distract me – after I saw Scarlett _die_ , I didn't want to be around other children: I didn't trust them. Instead, I worked on finding out all I could about the space station: how it worked, who did what, where every type of network went to...

At first it was very simplistic – I was only eight years old after all – but I actually got better rather quickly. It seemed perhaps that my brain had some particular talent for working in this logical way. And so it was that after exhausting all of the available routes of investigation, I began looking at some of the less obvious ones.

I was probably twelve by the time I graduated to full-blown espionage. Before then it was mainly sneaking into any open utility systems I could find and wandering around every part of the Family Quarter looking for clues. Father was an Engineer, working regularly on projects and repairs in the Family Quarter and, to my intense delight, during one of my outings I discovered that in the office at our apartment he kept a stock of tools, along with data cartridges containing blueprints, floor plans, utility routes and heavy plant operating manuals.

After discovering this hoard, I regularly _borrowed_ items that were useful in gaining access to areas that had previously been closed to me. Then there were the data cartridges themselves, from which I learned about a very different side to the space station. Through a combination of specialist tools and information, my understanding of how the Family Quarter operated blossomed rapidly. Soon I was able to access whatever I wanted, whenever I chose, limited only by the scanner system tracking my whereabouts. .

One day, rummaging through the contents of a tool kit – searching for a particular kind of transmission board – I'd sliced my finger open on something sharp at the bottom of the box. After rinsing the small wound and dressing it with a protective sleeve, I'd returned to Father's office and carefully began removing the contents of the box to find what I'd cut myself on.

At the very bottom of the box, lying flat against the black plastic base was a square sliver of some unusual material. It was so thin you would barely notice it, except that I must have moved it somehow to expose one of the sharp corners to have cut myself. This time I removed it carefully, pressing the thin material between my bandaged finger and thumb. I lifted it towards my face to get a closer view.

The piece was grey-silver in colour, approximately two inches square with an odd surface finish, part-shiny, part-matt. I was certain it wasn't any kind of plastic or resin, which I knew virtually everything else in the Family Quarter was constructed from. As I cautiously pressed my fingers along the edge of the piece it flexed slightly: not as easily as a fabric, but certainly it was not as rigid as plastic.

For several minutes I continued testing the movement and feel of the square, being careful not to damage it as I considered what it could be. Finally – although I could barely believe it – I concluded it must be some form of metal.

From everything I'd been taught, to find a piece of metal here – however small – should have been impossible. We had always been told that it was only used in the outer construction of the space station and was not present in any of the habitable quarters. At one point in my life, I would have been shocked by this discovery; but, by that stage I knew that what I found when I investigated was very different to what I'd been told.

One of my first discoveries had been when I'd calculated that the space station could not have the gravitational field we were told it did, if it was laid out in the manner we were told it was. Our astro-engineering lessons taught us that we lived on a space station designed as a giant, rotating wheel, which recreated the natural gravity field of Earth. If that was the case, based on the size of the Family Quarter alone, it would require the Retirement and Married Quarters each be thirty times bigger than the Family Quarter in order to create a ship large enough to generate the right levels of gravitational pull.

The calculations did not match with what we were taught about the station itself: that the Family Quarter was the largest of the three habitable zones. There was supposedly a minimal amount of uninhabitable space within the station, as well.

To my mind the combination of these elements left three options: the external design of the space station was different from what we'd been told; the other two Quarters were _much_ bigger than we were told; or there were other parts of the ship that existed – very large and completely unknown – that we were told didn't. However, you looked at it, there was something strange going on.

So – even though I knew I should not be able to find metal in Father's tool kit, when he had always maintained that he worked only within the boundaries of the Family Quarter, that didn't mean that it wasn't possible. As I had turned the small fragment around in my fingers, I'd wondered whether my Father lied about where he worked on the station, or whether metal was used somewhere else other than the external ship structure. It was an interesting distinction – even if it meant lies both ways – and I filed it away for future research.

I came to the conclusion that whatever the truth was, my Father must not have realised that this fragment had found its way into his tool kit, because I was sure that if he had, it would have been removed. And so, certain that I would not be discovered if I took it I slid the small piece of metal into my pocket and packed the tools back into place, where they had been before my discovery.

In secret I was able to experiment with the metal over the following weeks, using chemicals _borrowed_ from the school labs and tools from Father's office. Finally, I determined that it was a form of aluminium: lightweight, but strong. Once I knew what I _had_ I wanted to find out what it could _do_ and so next came a series of tests to try and find some use for the metal. But there was nothing. It did not affect the viewing screens or data centres, nor was it useful in manipulating the electronic access systems which locked-down areas of the quarter (and were therefore one of my main targets). It was only as I was about to give up and relegate it to the jumbled stash of items I kept buried in Park 42 that I found out what it _could_ do.

My final test was to see if the metal had any effect on the scanner network. I'd tried every one of the major systems operating within the Quarter and this was the only one left. When it affected nothing as I passed it in front of the sensors – they still recognised and scanned the identity mark on the inside of my wrist passing my whereabouts back to the central information system – I was sourly disappointed. About to dismiss it once and for all, a last second spark of inspiration told me to place the metal sliver over the mark itself and try passing the scanner again.

Pressing the cool metal against my skin and holding it firmly in place with my fingers, whilst still allowing the smooth surface to be exposed, I stepped cautiously towards the scanner. In two more steps I'd passed the sensor and was now standing just inside the entrance to Park 42.

This time there was nothing. No _beep_ as the sensor distinguished the individual strokes that made up my unique mark. No _beep_ to let me know that it had registered my presence moving from the residential zone and into the park. There was nothing. And nothing was fantastic.

* * *

Pulling myself back to the present from my recollections of how I'd come to own the metal band I was about to put to use, I found myself standing in the small plaza before the Red Zone Library and Information Depository. The building had four levels and was identical to the two other libraries that existed in the Blue and Black Zones: transparent resin outer walls provided a clear view of the people milling about inside. Some were seated at workstations, some reviewing the information cartridges that filled the near endless shelves of the depository. In a nod to classical Earth architecture, tall Roman columns flanked the entrance. The columns were the only distinguishing feature of the building. They were modelled in resin with a tiny grey-black speckled effect running through it, to make them appear like marble – doing this only made the attempt at replication even more contrived.

Putting aside my gripes on construction materials, I trudged forwards. Plastic or not, this was the perfect place to get _lost_ for a few hours. Wrapping my fingers around the familiar band in my pocket I casually passed through the main entrance to the library, listening for the distinct _beep_ as the scanner read my mark and registered my presence in the building.

Once inside, I passed the assistants at the reception desk and made my way to the staircase at the back of the building. Springing up the empty steps, I kept going until I reached the top floor. It was usually busier here than the other levels because the information stored here was geared towards recreation and entertainment. I smiled to myself when I saw that many of the workstations were occupied, with a steady stream of people waiting to use them.

_Perfect_. I grinned and headed off in search of some data cartridges.

The queue of people reduced quickly and before long I found myself seated at a workstation with a stack of five data cartridges clenched in my hands. With a cursory glance at the occupied stations around me – as usual no one was paying me any attention – I reached below the workstation and began feeding the cartridges into the waiting slots. Once all five were securely loaded I loosened the ties on my school sack and rummaged around until I found what I was looking for at the bottom: another data cartridge. Pulling it out, I slipped the final cartridge into place in the data unit and then sat up.

Another swift peek around the room told me that nothing had changed in the ten seconds it had taken me to load up the machine. Everyone nearby was still absorbed with whatever was on their workstations and paying me no attention at all. Pulling the lightweight keyboard towards me I ran my mark over the integrated scanner and began logging in to the system. Once the initial login had completed, my fingers flew across the keys typing in a range of commands to activate the data cartridge I'd brought with me.

The screen flickered once – barely visible – as the program inside my data cartridge took over the workstation operating system. The camera built into the workstation viewing screen activated and began filming me. I sat as still as I could so that the images being recorded could be easily looped over one another to create the impression I was sat at the screen quietly reading. Allowing my eyes to flicker slowly from left to right over and over again, the camera continued recording me for three minutes before clicking off and switching from the live feed to the recorded images now stored inside the data cartridge.

_First step completed_. I nodded to myself as my fingers found the keyboard again. I entered the command string to begin running the second stage of the program, that would activate the cartridges I'd picked up from the library. It would begin slowly running through the various data files saved onto the cartridges; combined with the camera recording, it would give the impression that I was sat here, reading the contents. Five cartridges would keep anyone occupied for a good few hours.

The program began and I watched the screen as the first couple of text files opened before me. Nothing changed for thirty seconds and then the next stage of the program kicked-in. The image of the text files disappeared, to be replaced by the message OUT OF SERVICE in large white letters on the blank screen. This was the standard holding page that indicated a piece of equipment was not functioning and had been flagged for repair – the program code for this was a nice acquisition from one of my numerous excursions into Father's office – and never drew any attention.

"Oh no," I muttered softly as though to myself, but really for the benefit of anyone overhearing me. "This system's malfunctioned," I added, as I pushed my chair back from the now inoperable workstation that was running my hidden program behind the standard breakdown notice.

No one was listening, or even turned towards me as I stepped away and walked to the back of the room. Perfect execution _,_ I thought as I descended the stairs and slipped the waiting metal band from my pocket onto my wrist. Even if my parents bothered to wonder where I was this afternoon – which I didn't think they would – they would see that I was being as studious as ever, happily occupied at the library.

Passing back through the main entrance, alongside three others, I allowed myself a small smile when the scanning system met my presence with silence. The wristband did its job and I was free to go wherever I wanted. I could do whatever I wanted – safe in the knowledge that I was truly invisible.

My earlier conversation with Cassie was still distracting me, and I knew I needed some time to get distance and perspective. Instinctively, I headed in the direction of my second home.

The busier streets fell behind me as I made my way deeper into the residential avenues of the Red Zone. Taking the path between the edge of the zone and the full height wall that divided the Family Quarter from the Married Quarter, I saw no one. I couldn't imagine anyone using this pathway to get home as I was walking past the back of the apartment blocks. The solitude was familiar. Being alone again felt natural...normal. Almost normal, I corrected myself. I could not ignore the odd niggling sensation that I'd felt since leaving Cassie in Park 17. This time I didn't bother with my list of reasons as to why I shouldn't feel this way. It was pointless telling myself lies.

The entrance to Park 42 was shaded from the bright light of the overhead mirrors by large trees that grew closely together around the periphery of the recreational area. Their thick, leaf-laden branches reached high enough that at pavement level they hid from view the expanse of rocky, rough terrain that stretched out beyond the secluded entrance. Crossing the boundary into the park I broke into a gentle jog, and turned along the familiar path that would lead me to the outlook.

Pumping my arms and legs rhythmically as I ran, I felt the comforting glow of warmth spreading through my body, that exercise brought. I concentrated on my breathing, slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth. It wasn't laboured or difficult; each breath brought a new wave of cooling energy into my body that my mobile limbs transformed into fuel to keep powering themselves along. The release and freedom of running made me feel _real_ – human even – just as it always did. What was odd – for me – was that it wasn't the first time today that I'd felt this way.

_Was Cassie_ really _different to everyone else – or was that just what I wanted to see?_

The question began to turn over in my mind as I continued running. The effect she had on me was certainly unlike anyone else, but that fact didn't necessarily make her special in any way. _Special? No – Attractive? Yes._ I was beginning to recall why I always tried to stay away from other people: they only made things confusing for me.

My feet pounded onwards and my breathing sped up as I ascended the hilly path that would lead me to the outlook. For now I focused only on moving my arms and legs and pushed every other distraction away. I was already good at this, having had a lot of practice at keeping my thoughts to myself. By the time the path became very steep, and I had to slow to a halting climb, my brain was comfortably numb and blank.

### Chapter 4

I sat atop a rocky outcrop; it had taken me twenty minutes to climb up to this point and it was worth it. The blank peace I'd been enjoying was fading away now and my brain was waking up once more. Slowly, conscious thought pushed its way back into my head forcing me to acknowledge the niggling questions I had shut out on my climb. But the thoughts were not overpowering just yet, and I was able to let my mind wander a little longer.

As I waited I brushed my hands lightly over the small tufts of grass beside me, prickling my skin slightly as the blades stabbed upwards at my fingers. It was a coarse, dry grass that existed here on the rock, unlike the lush and tended lawns of the other parks. It was the reason I loved this place. It was one of the things that made it real.

_This_ grass was a natural occurrence in the formulaic and manufactured world I existed in and distrusted so much. The sparse soil pockets that the grass seeds planted themselves into were not placed on the crevices by design, but had sprung up over time as the air circulation system of the station forced minute amounts of dust into the atmosphere of the Family Quarter. In most places this dust would be invisible where it settled or was periodically cleaned away, but not up here. There was no one to clean the dust away here because no one really came to this park except me. (I'd already made sure of this by checking the scanner records, once I'd found a way to hack in to the system. Very few people even ventured into the park, let alone stayed long enough to indicate they had travelled sufficiently far to reach my current location). Over time, seeds from the parks and residential zone lawns must have mingled into the dust and found their way here. Then they settled themselves into place, to wait for the opportunity of light and moisture to make them grow. Nature always finds a way, I mused dreamily. It was a reassuring notion.

My gaze drifted lazily over the landscape of the Family Quarter spread out before me. Park 42 sat at the outer edge of the quarter, reportedly close to the external walls of the space station itself. Not that my calculations on gravitational pull would support the theory that we would have such a strong gravitational field on board if the Family Quarter truly was the largest section of the space station. But, I had no proven alternative to offer at this point in time, as to what the alternatives might exist, and so I dismissed the problem, just as I had many times before.

Up here I could see pretty much everything, whilst remaining near invisible myself: the rock face was so similar in colour to the grey external walls at the edges of the Family Quarter that it blended in almost completely. If I hadn't been climbing out here in the park one day – something that was not permitted due to the dangers it posed – then I probably would have been ignorant to its existence myself.

There was no denying that the view was impressive: it was the highest reachable point within the station. In the distance to the left, my eyes picked out three tall buildings stretching from the middle of a group of smaller ones, that made up the main hub at the centre of the Black, Green and Blue residential zones. The Clinic – where Mother worked – was the tallest of the three. From here they appeared small and almost unreal, like a model I might have made and placed on a table to walk around and peer into, as though I were a giant.

I was no giant. If I had been I probably would have smashed the towers into pieces, enjoying each snap and crack as I destroyed another of the symbols of the lies we were told about ourselves.

How could the others not see it? This question troubled me now, just as it always did. Was I more observant than them, or were they just more a part of the system than I was?

Not for the first time I considered again whether it was me who was the problem – some genetic throwback with inherited mental imbalances – I dismissed that, as usual. I'd already tested myself extensively to see if my observations were hallucination or paranoia. They were neither.

My thoughts drifted back to the day I'd found the secondary receiver inside my viewing screen. I remembered immediately my anger at being proved right once more: we were being lied to and watched. What was the purpose of it? Surely, it would only make sense to lie, if there was something to hide...?

It always surprised me how much I wanted my research and investigations to prove _me_ wrong and not the system I in lived within. _I_ wanted to be the failure and anomaly, not everyone else. After all, that would be the easier thing to believe. So far, that had not happened. I had always been proved right and it had been that way since the first day I began to suspect. Before I could stop myself, I found I was tumbling headlong into a memory I usually kept hidden.

* * *

It was Saturday. And I was happy. There was no school today – my favourite meals were on the menu for rotation at both lunch and dinner – I'd done all of my homework – and the door buzzer had just announced that my best friend, Scarlett, had arrived at our apartment.

"Hello Scarlett," I heard Mother's voice as the door was answered.

"Hi," Scarlett replied in her usual cheerful lilt. My face expanded automatically into a wide grin at the sound.

Scarlett had joined our class at the start of the year – apparently she'd been a year below us, but her academic skills were so advanced that they'd moved her into our year group – it made the class an uneven eleven students, when they were normally even numbers of boys and girls, but that didn't matter really. We'd been placed as partners on some of the team projects and after doing them so well, had been pretty much inseparable ever since.

"Hey!" Scarlett greeted me as she wandered into my bedroom and flopped onto my still unmade bed.

"Hey," I nodded in response, glad when I was reminded of the fact that our relationship was so easy – so natural.

"So, are we still going to do what you said today?" Scarlett asked me, absently twirling a sliver of blonde hair around her finger. Sometimes she looked a lot younger than seven, but she was still smarter than pretty much anyone else I knew. It was almost scary.

"Sshhh!" I hissed, trying to remind her without proper words that this was a secret expedition. Mother knew we were going to the park – but I didn't think she'd approve of the wild-looking one I'd selected. I'd never been to Park 42 before, but from what I'd seen on the station information channel it looked perfect for a bit of exploring – almost like a real place instead of the carefully designed, man-made parks, I'd spent the rest of my life visiting.

"OK – sorry!" Scarlett shushed back at me, before whispering her question again. "So, are we?"

I nodded, yes. Then had to giggle mutely when Scarlett began waving her small hands around in the air and giving a silent cheer of celebration.

"Do you two want any breakfast before you leave?" Mother asked politely from the doorway, her head half-way into the room. Her sudden appearance interrupted my silent laughter and Scarlett abruptly dropped her arms.

"No thanks, Mother," I replied recovering swiftly, "we're going to grab something on the way to the park."

"OK – well make sure you do," Mother said, drawing back from the room and heading off in the direction of the kitchen.

Once Mother's footsteps had faded away along the corridor, Scarlett leaned close to me, her small hand rising up to cover the side of her mouth as she whispered, not that anyone was watching us now. "Is it still just us?" she asked.

I nodded once to say _yes_.

"You didn't ask Cassie then?" Scarlett sounded a little huffy. "You said you were going to invite her to join us."

I didn't need reminding of the promise I'd made. For some unknown reason, Scarlett really wanted to be friends with Cassie.

"I'm sorry – I was going to ask her," I said, before Scarlett pulled a face. "I _promise_ I was going to ask. But, it was too difficult – you know how popular she is – there were always other people there."

"I don't know why you're so shy," Scarlett muttered, half to herself, "You should give her a chance, Cassie would love to be friends with you...and me," she added herself as though it was an afterthought.

"I'm sure Cassie's just dying to be friends with me, the super-brain!" I shook my head, still packing up my bag.

"Yes she would. I _know_ it." Scarlett's normally gentle voice was surprisingly insistent.

"Yeah, well – it's not happening today."

"You _did_ promise," Scarlett pouted a little.

"If you care so much, next time _you_ ask her to come." I grumbled in response, my face screwing into a frown. Why was it such a big deal whether Cassie came or not? This was supposed to be _our_ adventure.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Scarlett apologised when the silence began to stretch out.

"It's OK, it doesn't matter." I told her truthfully. "And next time, we will ask Cassie, if you want." Scarlett smiled at my words. "Just don't be surprised if she doesn't say yes." I muttered to myself.

"Come on – let's get going," Scarlett said, not hearing my last comment, and bouncing eagerly from the bed to the door. I paused only to grab my day-sack from the floor – I'd packed all of our explorer supplies into it – and followed my friend out of the apartment.

"Check that out!" Scarlett exclaimed a few steps ahead of me up the hilly path.

Gulping in a deep breath of air I pulled myself up the last few steps to join her atop the steep rise we'd just climbed. It was amazing – I'd never been so high up before and I could see everything inside the space station from here.

"Slow coach," Scarlett teased me, as she took in my ruddy cheeks and heavy breathing. Oddly, she looked no different at all, as though we'd been for an easy stroll around Park 23 not trudging up a steep hillside.

"Nothing wrong with me," I disagreed, a little testy from having been outdone by a girl who was younger than me, "you're not human or something!" I finished, rather lamely. Scarlett only grinned wider at my words, as though they had some meaning I didn't get. I shook the thought away. "So – what are we looking at do you think?" I asked trying to change the subject.

Scarlett happily obliged and we spent the next hour or so pointing out various things of interest and wondering about what the other quarters might look like, beyond the grey walls at the edge of the Family Quarter. We broke out the picnic supplies whilst we talked and munched our way through the various snacks I'd brought. I noticed that I did most of the eating: Scarlett was too busy chattering away.

We dropped into a companionable silence, as we focused on eating over talking. Well, as I focused on eating ...again I noticed that Scarlett hadn't even touched the food I'd brought along for her: the small pile beside her remained intact. Quite abruptly Scarlett disturbed my quiet musings. I paused mid-chew, hearing the odd tone of her voice. I looked over but Scarlett didn't see me – she was staring into the distance, towards the station wall.

"Have you noticed that?" Scarlett repeated, curiosity infusing her words.

I turned in the direction she was pointing. Several feet above us it looked as though the rocky outcrop disappeared completely and became a part of the station wall again.

"What – the rocks?" I replied, unable to work out what had caught her attention.

"No – above the rocks – just there..." She pointed again, leaning closer to me so that I could follow the line of her arm.

It took me a moment, but as I squinted in the direction of her gaze I think I saw what Scarlett was talking about. "There's something there...?" I asked uncertainly, trying to work out what the slightly darker area on the wall was.

"Looks like it." Scarlett grinned at me, a wily light entering her eyes.

"So?" I shrugged, swallowing my mouthful and taking another large bite of the apple I was holding.

" _So?_ " she echoed mockingly, shaking her head at my lack of interest. "What kind of explorer are you?"

"What do you mean?" I replied, bristling at the challenge in her words.

"Well...we were just talking about what the other Quarters might be like... We're as close to the Married Quarter as you can get and that – to me – looks like an access panel of some sort..." Scarlett's words trailed off mysteriously as she planted the seed of an idea in my mind.

"No!" I exclaimed, certain that she couldn't be suggesting what it sounded like she was. "You seriously think we can open the panel up and get through to the Married Quarter? That's just crazy!"

"I don't necessarily think _that_ ," Scarlett argued lightly, "it's probably just some infrastructure...pipes and stuff, but..."

"But what...?" I asked when she shrugged off her own words.

"You never know – don't you want to see what's through there? Don't you want to see what exists beyond the Family Quarter for yourself?"

All I could do was stare at her – half in disbelief and half encouraged by what she was suggesting – I was sure that no one else living in the Family Quarter would be proposing this kind of dangerous, prohibited activity. But then, Scarlett _was_ different to anyone I'd ever met before. Sometimes I felt that she was a foreign creature, deposited randomly into the Green Zone of the Family Quarter just to make me question myself and work harder at understanding the world I lived in.

Scarlett's eyes were hungry: glimmering with excitement and challenge – but surely she was joking? Even Scarlett wouldn't seriously be considering this.

"We couldn't do that," I dismissed, trying not to sound disappointed. "There's no way we could get up there – it's too dangerous."

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Scarlett taunted me, grinning once more. "I thought we came here to explore? Let's explore!"

"What if we can't get up – or more to the point – can't get down?"

"You worry too much!" Scarlett laughed with a shake of her head. "Anyway, maybe your parents don't care about you, as much as you _think_ they do."

Her flippant remark about my parents hung heavily in the air between us for a moment or two. I genuinely didn't know how to respond. It sounded as though Scarlett was joking, but at the same time there was an odd weight to the words as though she meant to tell me something I couldn't see.

It didn't really matter anyway, as I only had a few seconds to wonder about this before Scarlett surprised me again. In one swift, fluid movement she was on her feet and moving towards the rock face behind me. I turned to see her go, thinking that she was just kidding and would stop when she got there. But she didn't.

By the time I was on my feet, Scarlett had already hitched up her day-suit, to loosen the material around her knees, and was clinging tightly to the rugged stone pulling herself up.

"What are you doing?" I asked pointlessly. I could quite clearly see what she was doing.

Scarlett just grinned and carried on climbing. By now she was more than halfway up the wall and showed no signs of stopping. "Be careful," I called, my voice breaking a little over the words. I was in two-minds: did I follow her up there or stay where I was? What if we both got stuck at the top?

"Are you coming?" Scarlett shouted down to me. She was just two metres from the top now – or what looked like the top from where I stood.

"I'm waiting to see what you find," I yelled back. "Anyway, you'll need me here if you get stuck!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure," she muttered, sounding dubious.

"Fine! Have it your way!" I conceded grudgingly. There was no way I was going to let a girl get the better of me – especially when it came to being an explorer!

My hands were reaching upwards and my feet had found neat footholds at the lower edge of the rock mere seconds after I'd admitted defeat. The climbing was harder than Scarlett had made it look – not that I'd confess to that – and I had only climbed up about three metres from our ledge when I heard a short gasp from above me. I looked up into a shower of dust and small resin stone chips. I didn't see Scarlett until she dropped past my right shoulder an instant later.

"NO!" I screamed grabbing out uselessly at the empty air her small body had just fallen through.

I swivelled, pulling my shoulder painfully as I tried to grip the wall and turn to look downwards at the same time. Scarlett had twisted around as she fell and was looking right at me when her back and head crunched sickeningly into the ledge we'd been sat on a few minutes before. The sound was grotesque, surely nothing natural should ever sound like that? My hand reached out pointlessly towards her, as though I could still stop her falling. I was helpless.

It felt like an hour had passed by the time I forced my shaking body to move. My fingers slipped several times during the descent and I almost fell myself. But I didn't fall. Scarlett did. Scarlett _had_ fallen. Scarlett was... I couldn't finish that thought. One halting step at a time I got closer to the bottom until I could jump the rest of the way.

Landing flat on my feet, it felt as though my shins jarred straight into my ankles as I hit the ledge. I ignored the burning in my joints and lunged across the ground, falling to my knees beside Scarlett's silent body.

Scarlett didn't move. She didn't cry, she didn't breathe.

I reached out with trembling fingers to feel for a pulse beneath her jaw and it was only then that I realised that her neck was twisted at an odd angle compared to her body. My hand brushed over her soft skin as I searched for her pulse, but as I pressed on her throat there was nothing. Unlike my own thin skin, covering the flesh and bones of my body, Scarlett's did not yield to pressure: it was hard and firm more like a muscle. I reached behind her head to feel for blood, but my fingers came away oddly dry.

"Scarlett," I whispered to her. Then I began to shout: over and over again I yelled her name, but there was nothing. Even though she looked completely normal, I knew that Scarlett was dead.

What I did after that is unclear. One minute I was there on the hillside and the next I found myself sat at home in my bedroom, the picnic bag placed neatly beside me, fully stocked with the things I'd taken to the park. I was gazing steadily at the blank wall when Mother popped in to check on me.

"How was the park?" she asked from the doorway.

"Not bad," I shrugged, my voice monotone.

"Did Scarlett enjoy herself?" Mother asked, not appearing disturbed by my lacklustre response.

My heart froze in my chest. _What could I say?_

"I've just seen her coming past the Green Zone junction with her father. I thought you might have stayed out later than you have."

I swallowed thickly, my tongue filling my mouth uncomfortably. "What?" I managed to croak in disbelief. It wasn't possible – I'd seen Scarlett fall, seen her body. There was no way she could have been pretending. And why would she play such an awful prank? We were friends. "Where did you see her?" I managed to ask, speaking more coherently now.

Mother appraised me with curious eyes. "She was with her father heading towards the central area, just a few moments ago."

"Thanks Mother." I called over my shoulder, already running to the front door of our apartment. "I forgot to ask her something today, I'll be right back." Perhaps Mother called out for me to stop – she didn't like running indoors – but I didn't really hear properly and I certainly didn't stop.

Pumping my legs as fast as I could, I raced towards the Green Zone junction. There was no one there. Passing straight through the intersection, I carried on running, heading to the central area. After a few minutes I saw Scarlett's small figure ahead of me, walking beside her father. I sucked a deep breath into my lungs – chilled a little by the sight of her – but continued after them.

When I found myself only a few paces away, I slowed to a walk and tried to match my speed with theirs. I wanted to shout out to her: make Scarlett speak to me and tell me what had happened, but I didn't. I could tell from the tilt of their heads and hushed voices they were having a serious discussion. I crept closer.

"From my time spent here, I cannot see any real benefits from including children as Keepers. The main influence comes from their parents and other adults – we do not fit in well as children."

_What was she talking about?_ Scarlett's words to her father confused me. She said: "we do not fit in as children," as if she wasn't a child herself. Their conversation was the least of my worries, though. The fact that Scarlett was walking and talking – at all – after I'd seen her fall to her death was what I was really interested in. What I was seeing was impossible.

_How could Scarlett have gotten back? How was she even_ alive _?_

The same questions rushed through my head for the thousandth time in a minute.

As her name ran silently through my mind, Scarlett turned to look at me as if she had heard my voice. I froze mid-step, frightened by the coincidence. Her eyes caught mine. In that instant it was as though everything else around me stopped: there was no other movement, no sound, no one else in the plaza. All I saw were Scarlett's eyes...and then I heard her voice.

" _There is more to life here than we're told, Balik. You will find the truth of what is happening – I know you will – and you will need Cassie to do it."_

The moment ended. Scarlett was walking away from me, as I remained locked in place. It was as though nothing had happened. _Was it possible I was hallucinating?_ First what happened in the park, and now this...? Was I in shock? I shook my head, trying to clear the confusion and fog from my mind. I could still hear Scarlett's voice, but it was inside my head: her lips hadn't moved.

Blinking ferociously, I tried to focus. If it was my imagination, something was still happening, because I could see Scarlett and her father ahead of me. I had to find out what was going on!

They were nearly at the edge of the plaza by the time I stirred my feet to follow. There was a narrow space between two buildings and I watched them turn into the dark passage. I was moving again – running now – and raced across the square, determined to speak with Scarlett and find out what was happening.

As I reached the corner of the building I slowed to a walk and turned down the same path Scarlett had taken a few moments earlier. Ahead of me was a tall grey wall, with a door cut into the base. A member of The Council stood beside the entrance – I recognised him by the silver coloured day-suit he wore, even though I'd never seen a member of The Council in real life before, only onscreen.

"Can I help you, young man?" The Councillor asked as I approached.

I tried to look behind him at the doorway. There was nothing else there and nowhere else to go on the narrow path. Scarlett must have gone through the door.

"I was looking for my friend. She came down this passage." I replied, glancing behind me, then nervously back at the Councillor.

"You must be mistaken," he smiled kindly. "No children are allowed through here, it is one of the entrances to the Married Quarter."

"I saw her come down here. It was only a moment ago – with her father – they must have come by you!"

The Councillor merely shook his head, despite my raised voice.

"But I saw her! I saw Scarlett from the Green Zone walk down this way. You must have seen her!"

Without warning the Councillor reached forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. He didn't hurt me, but I found myself forced to look up into his face. _"You saw nothing. Now go home."_

I closed my eyes tightly as a sudden pain burst inside my head. I'd never felt such a bad headache before.

"Are you unwell?"

As if from a distance, I heard the man's voice once again. I didn't open my eyes just yet; the pain was still sharp in my head.

"Yes, a sudden headache." I replied. "I want to go home."

"That's a good idea," he agreed. "I'll have an adult from the Green Zone escort you home, so you get back safely."

* * *

It had been a long time since I had let myself remember the details of the day Scarlett died, but didn't stay dead. Throughout our friendship Scarlett had always challenged me: she made me look more closely at the world around me and question what we were told. It was her that had changed the course of my life, firstly with her questions, and then with the questions she left me with after she _died_.

Since that day, when my world was turned upside down, I had explored every avenue available to me. All except the one that Scarlett had pushed me towards: Cassie.

Why was I thinking of this now?

I was close to leaving the Family Quarter: certain that I would find a route out in the next few weeks. Above everything else, I wanted to find out what the lies were protecting. The only thing I truly knew was that the answers lay beyond the grey walls that I had spent my life inside.

Why now?

As the question echoed inside my head, I realised that I already knew the answer: Scarlett had told me that to find out the truth I would need Cassie. Alone, I had done everything else I could think of, but there were still gaps in my knowledge. If I didn't at least try with Cassie, I might never get out of here.

### Chapter 5

When the alarm on the viewing screen alerted me this morning, I did not respond with my usual irritation. I bounded up from the bed, thankful that Monday had arrived. Catching a glimpse of my reflection in the highly polished plastic window in my bedroom I paused, startled by what I saw. A happy young man – with highly erratic bed-hair – grinned back at me. It was not the image I normally saw and knew exactly why he looked so pleased with himself.

"You're a stalker," I informed him firmly, but he didn't seem bothered. His grin widened at my words.

Knock, knock.

I turned slightly towards the door. The sound of Mother's reminder to get up didn't even flatten my mood this morning. Shaking my head at the fool I saw in my window, we both turned away.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, as usual, although I was a little surprised at this. I had expected Mother would have a lot more questions about why I'd suddenly wanted to be entered onto the extended Medic rotation, rather than awaiting the fast-track option I'd initially signed up for. Even as I'd started explaining on Friday my fictitious desire to get more _hands-on_ experience, thinking that my academic record was all well and good but could not be compared to real life knowledge, she'd already been agreeing with me and offering to smooth over any issues at The Clinic on my behalf.

As a rule, Mother had questions for everything I did. She often appeared frustrated by the information I gave her – or lack of it, more likely – so today was a completely new experience. She seemed...happy. It was an odd thing to see, as I was used to her being rather unemotional. The more disturbing thing for me was the way her behaviour had affected my mood. For no good reason I could discern, her unexpected happiness made _me_ feel uneasy. It was as though her happiness was a bad thing.

Breakfast was a familiar mix of bland cereals today with a soya-based liquid to soften them. There may have been dried fruit pieces in it, but I couldn't say for certain. I barely noticed the actual contents of my bowl, hurrying through my breakfast eager to escape from Mother's unsettling presence. I was in such a rush I forgot my vitamin tablet.

"Balik?" Mother called out to me as I dashed out of the room, heading towards the bedroom.

I turned.

"You need your tablet."

"Oh yes," I mumbled, leaning back around the corner and reaching out for it, thinking that she would pass it to me from the table where it was hidden behind the half-drunk glass of juice. The distance between us was very small, but she did not move to collect the pill. Standing perfectly still next to the table, Mother's eyes were abruptly blank after their earlier animation. I was confused, and following a few uncomfortable seconds of silence I realised that she was not going to pass me the vitamin.

Maybe she hadn't understood the meaning behind my gesture. I stepped back into the living space and walked past Mother to the table. The tablet was still half-hidden behind the juice glass and I reached over to pick it up. Circling towards the bathroom again, I'd taken two steps when Mother spoke.

"Can you take it in here, please?" She asked, her tone was neutral but the words were clipped, as though she resented having to speak them. It felt more like a command than a question.

I turned for a third time, confusion reigning now. _Why did I need to take it in here?_ It didn't seem like it should matter where I was so long as I'd taken my daily dose. And, it was only a vitamin tablet after all – surely I'd survive one day even if I did forget it? Mother's behaviour was getting odder by the minute.

"You have to take the tablet with juice rather than water," Mother said, nodding at the capsule clasped in my hand, "it helps it break down for easier digestion."

I nodded automatically and went back to the table for my juice glass, noting that Mother was watching my actions carefully. Placing the small tablet on my tongue – it now felt huge because of the strange significance it had taken on in the past minute – I glugged down a mouthful of juice. The pill remained resolutely stuck to my tongue, resisting the torrent of orange liquid that sloshed around my mouth, trying to force it down my throat. Another mouthful and the tablet still had not dislodged and the glass was now empty.

Why did I do it?

I don't know. But, instead of getting something else to drink, or even swallowing the vitamin dry because it was easily small enough to do that, I pushed the tablet to the side of my mouth and left the room. Mother seemed content, now that I'd taken my dose, and allowed me to escape to the privacy of the bathroom without further questions.

Closing the door behind me and locking it firmly I opened my mouth and pulled out the offending tablet. It sat in my open palm: small and unassuming with only a tiny amount dissolved around the edges from my attempts to wash it down my gullet.

_Why was it so important?_ I prodded the pill, as though that might magically release the answer for me. It didn't.

Through my bewilderment over the whole episode I was conscious of the unsettling notion that Mother had answered unspoken questions straight from my mind. I replayed the conversation in my head, trying to understand what had happened.

I'd forgotten my tablet...she'd asked me to come back for it...she wouldn't pass it to me and asked that I take it in the room...the implication was that I took the tablet where she could see me...that had confused me and I'd wondered why I had to take it in there...thought it wouldn't matter where I took it...and then she'd given me the answer for something I'd not asked...not asked aloud at least.

Had the question been written so plainly in my expression that she'd been able to guess what I was thinking?

It was possible, I conceded, but it didn't feel _right_. I paused a few moments longer, mulling over the peculiar exchange. More likely was that Mother knew my inquisitive nature: that I liked to understand how everything worked and why. Of course, she was unaware of how far I _really_ took things, but still, she knew enough about me to think that I'd want some reason to back up her request. That must be it.

The pill still sat in my open palm. A new question began playing around my head. For the first time I had a tablet in my hand, without someone watching over my shoulder while I obediently swallowed it. I was alone now and had the freedom of choice whether to take it or not...what would I do?

Of course I wasn't going to be a good boy and do what I was told if there was no one watching. I curled my fingers around the capsule and pushed it carefully into my pocket. It would be nice to understand _what_ was in my daily vitamin, and I knew just how to find that out with some choice supplies from The Clinic. I smiled to myself, already relishing the new knowledge I would have by the end of the day. It looked like today was going to be even better than I'd expected.

Quickly stripping out of my night-suit and stepping into the shower, I couldn't stop grinning as the hot water pounded over my skin. My hair – erratic from being in bed – flattened against my scalp and drifted towards my eyes as the water tamed the dark curls. I pushed them away and held my hair back from my face allowing the spray to spatter my across my eyes and cheeks, as I began to plan out my day.

Twenty minutes later, I stepped through the sliding door of our apartment pod onto the corridor outside. I was wearing a fresh day-suit and had managed to pacify my unruly hair somewhat, so that I looked presentable. I set off towards The Clinic with an excited bounce in my step, the stolen tablet sitting securely in my pocket.

* * *

It wasn't difficult for me to blend in with the pedestrians milling around the plaza in front of The Clinic. There were lots of people coming in and going out, some even forming queues to wait in an orderly fashion for their turn to pass through the gapping hole of a doorway. The Clinic was a large, clear-fronted structure, but it still managed to dominate the whole square, standing several stories above the surrounding buildings. It was also the widest building on the square, taking up the equivalent frontage of five other properties. It was huge compared to the blocks in the residential zones, which were limited to three storeys, housing six families each. Of course, The Clinic needed to be big: it was the main medical facility for this area of the Family Quarter, serving the surrounding Black, Green and Blue Residential Zones.

I shook myself. Why was I thinking about architecture? Or the logistics of which sections of the space station population were served by The Clinic? I must be desperate for a distraction! Clearing my head, I refocused on my feet and began walking again.

I had arrived early – really early – and had been wandering an invisible track around the square, pretending to myself that I wasn't waiting for someone, even though I obviously was. But there was no sign of Cassie so far.

Was she going to be late? I wondered, before a second thought pushed it away. _Had she changed her plans?_ This prospect deflated my buoyant mood and I tried to ignore it.

As I walked the first few circuits in front of The Clinic, I was still persuading myself that my pursuit of, and interaction with Cassie, was purely for academic purposes. I had told myself a hundred times already: Cassie has an interesting mind and could offer me an alternative perspective on my questions about Space Station Hope.

And the fact that your missing friend Scarlett suggested that Cassie would be able to help you find out something you haven't been able to do alone...?

Ambushed by my own sarcasm, I knew there was no answer to _that_ question. More accurately, there was no answer I was going to offer to my questioning subconscious at this point in time. I shrugged it off and continued pacing.

Another lap of the plaza, with these thoughts churning, and I gave up. I was even boring myself with my thinly veiled excuses. Cassie was undoubtedly a bright girl and looked at life differently than me, so that was true. But it wasn't the reason I was pacing around the central hub of the residential zones at 7.00am on a Monday morning. No. I was here because I was a sad, lonely stalker. I couldn't even muster a silent, bitter laugh to accompany that thought; it was too painful because it was true. My mind slipped into a blank limbo as I continued walking in circles.

8.07am. There was still no sign of Cassie arriving.

Surely she wouldn't be late on her first day?

As I passed under the clock – it showed 8.09am now – I fell into step behind a boy from my Green Zone school class. Matthew. I didn't greet him or make him aware of my presence. Why would I?

"Hey Matt!"

I turned towards the voice, even though it wasn't me that had been shouted. A boy I didn't recognise was waving and he turned in my direction. I saw Matthew raise his own hand in acknowledgement when he saw the guy and he slowed down to wait as the newcomer approached through the crowd. I slowed myself, mainly because I had little else to do at the moment apart from continue with my circuits of the square.

The boy was tall – a good few inches bigger than me – and he had the dark skin colour of the station descendents with African heritage. He had a relaxed walk, more of a lope really, and he covered the distance between them in a few long strides. I found myself eavesdropping on their conversation, as a distraction from my own concerns.

"Hi Joel, how's things? Where're you going?" Matthew asked as the boy joined him.

"I'm starting my Medic placement today at The Clinic." The boy – Joel – nodded towards the large building that I'd been circling for the last forty minutes. "What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm on placement too." Matthew shrugged his shoulders dismissively as he replied.

It was exactly the same movement Cassie made and I wondered whether this was something she'd picked up from him or vice versa, as I knew that they hung out at school.

"I'm just heading over to Engineering, I applied for the longer rotation and start today."

I could tell by the sound of Matthew's voice that he wasn't overly happy with this and I wasn't surprised; from what I could remember of his answers in class, engineering was not his strong point. That would explain the extended placement and lack of enthusiasm.

"I know – no holidays right?" Joel complained lightly, echoing Matthew's apathy. "It sucks!"

"Anyone else you know on these earlier rotations?"

Joel shook his head. No. "Not on the Engineering side of things," he said, "just a girl from my class on the Medic rotation."

"Nice?" Matthew asked. I knew he wasn't referring to her personality.

"Oh yeah," Joel laughed, catching his meaning immediately. "But man, can she talk!" He held his hand up and flexed his fingers open and closed rapidly to reinforce his words. Matthew laughed and rolled his eyes. "Anyone you know on my placement?" Joel asked a moment later.

"I think Cassie's doing the extended Medic rotation," Matthew replied after a few seconds thought. "She might be with you."

"Nice?" Joel asked, flashing Matthew a mischievous grin as he echoed his friend's earlier question.

"Sure," Matthew replied; without hesitation I noticed.

Joel made the same _talkative_ hand gesture that he made before. Matthew laughed again.

"Yes, but not in a bad way," he assured Joel. "She's pretty cool."

"Really?" Joel asked turning towards his friend with interest now. An unfamiliar monster growled somewhere in the pit of my stomach when I saw Joel's reaction. For some reason I could not explain, I felt unexpectedly angry with this perfect stranger.

"Yeah," Matthew repeated.

"Seeing anyone?" Joel enquired casually.

The unknown beast rumbled again, its discontent still directed at Joel.

"Nope," Matthew shook his head. "Don't know why really – she's pretty much the nicest girl in our year – just never seemed interested in anyone, like that."

Matthew's words silenced the monster. It gave me a secret sense of satisfaction to know that Cassie did not seem attached to any of her male friends from school. In that instant I realised what the unknown growling beast inside me was.

I'm such an idiot!

"Hmmmm," Joel drawled sounding thoughtful.

His interest didn't bother me any more. I was too busy trying to absorb the implications of the fact I might be jealous of him – or any other guy – that Cassie was interested in.

"Don't get your hopes up mate," his friend laughed quickly, "I don't know why she's on the early rotation at The Clinic. She's a smart girl. Nothing like you!" Matthew laughed harder when Joel pulled a face at him, but I was already tuning out of their conversation and losing myself in my own thoughts. I barely noticed when Joel disappeared through the crowded plaza into The Clinic.

8.10am and forty seconds...

To my considerable relief, Cassie appeared at the edge of the square opposite the entrance to The Clinic. Breaking away from my well-trodden track circling the plaza, I moved through the swarming pedestrians, intending to appear near to Cassie as though I was just arriving myself.

My efforts to seem casual made me realise once more how sad I actually was. They also reminded me of the unpleasant monster I had just discovered buried deep inside me, and how quickly it could rise to the surface. There was no denying that the girl I was walking towards was the cause of this new, angry beast.

Keep telling yourself that you only need Cassie to find out what Scarlett thought she knew about the space station...

As I had been doing all weekend, I ignored my sarcastic inner voice when he piped up again. And walking quickly, I drew closer to Cassie.

When I got near, I could see Cassie's face was drawn closed: her eyes flickering nervously between the floor (and her feet) and the surrounding buildings. The man walking alongside her must have been her father I thought, although they were not talking and did not look overly alike.

Drawing close, I realised that Cassie looked terrified. Surely her fear was not just nervousness at starting the placement? She was always so bubbly and confident at school; could anyone really be _that_ good an actress?

Cassie's obvious unhappiness made me feel uncomfortable. Part of me wanted to do something to alleviate whatever it was that was troubling her. Then I realised, she would probably be more scared of the strange guy stalking her, than the prospect of starting the Medic rotation...

Cassie and her father moved swiftly through the throngs of people in the square, and were passing through the entrance of The Clinic by the time I was able to catch up with them. As the scanner beeped at the entrance, registering her presence in the building, Cassie jumped nervously.

_Perhaps surprising her today would not be the best idea._ I was genuinely concerned that she would scream the place down, if I unexpectedly popped up next to her.

Cassie was just a metre away from me and I would have to act now, if I wanted to speak to her before we were put onto our placement. Sidling around the edge of the entrance and ignoring the familiar beep of the scanners, I covered the short distance in quick strides. Leaning down to whisper, hopefully without startling her, I matched my step to Cassie's and spoke.

"Hello again." My tone was light and sociable – in complete contrast to the myriad of confusing thoughts and emotions that were coursing through my body at that moment.

A glimpse of an involuntary smile flashed across Cassie's lips as she inhaled a surprised breath at the sound of my voice. Better than screaming, I observed with a slight smile of my own.

When Cassie turned to look at me – and greeted me with a lovely smile of her own – I was immediately happy to see that her features had relaxed completely from the frown she had been wearing when I saw her earlier. I hopefully speculated about whether it had anything to do with my presence. Then I kicked myself mentally for being so interested.

"Hi," Cassie replied, her voice sounding slightly shrill, which I assumed was her nerves leaking through.

"You need to go through the doors over there," her father pointed out, interrupting anything she might have been about to say and bringing us both to a stop. "There's a registration point in the orientation reception there where they'll get you sorted for your first day. Probably a lot of walking around I would expect."

The information was actually quite useful, as I'd done no groundwork for this placement whatsoever. That was very unusual for me, as I normally liked to be prepared for behaving as people expected me to. With spending nearly an hour walking around outside The Clinic, I hadn't actually given any thought as to what I might have to do once I got inside. Disorganised and confused: this was a whole new experience for me.

Cassie was staring at me and it felt like she was reluctant to turn towards her father and said "OK."

I was about to set off in the direction of the orientation room, when a look of confusion washed over Cassie's features.

"Sorry Father, did you just say something?" she asked, uncertainty colouring her tone.

"Yes. I told you the registration point was through there," he pointed towards the doors across the foyer again, although his eyes were fixed on his daughter's face.

"No, I mean after that."

Cassie's cheeks were flaming now and I thought it might be my presence making her feel uncomfortable and so I looked away, pretending to examine the doors her father had pointed out. I had no idea what she was talking about. Surely Cassie had heard the same thing I had?

"Yes..." he replied again, speaking slowly now, seeming as lost by Cassie's line of questioning as I was. "I said that you'll probably be walking around a lot today."

"Sorry," Cassie mumbled glancing away from him now. I sensed that she was not looking at me when she spoke a second later. "I thought you said something after that...I'm still a bit sleepy I guess."

From the corner of my eye, while I still pretended to be interested in something else, I saw Cassie raise and drop her shoulders in a dismissive shrug, which was becoming rather familiar.

The _shrug_ was the clue. She was dismissing herself: something she had seen, or thought, or heard... I was sure of it – without exactly being sure, of why I was sure.

What unseen but significant thing had happened in those few moments: to make her pursue something so forcefully with her father before dismissing her thoughts.

It was a new mystery to ponder...another thing that would have to take a spot on the ever-growing list.

Politely I tuned out their words of farewell and waited until Cassie was moving again before I began walking too. Curiosity burned uncontrollably and a thousand questions tumbled through my mind. Something had definitely just happened, but I had no idea what. How could I ask her, without revealing how closely I watched every move she made? In the end I had to settle for the rather bland question: "Are you OK?" when she refused to meet my eyes

"Fine." Cassie's one word answer was sharp and blunt at the same time.

Her anger confused me as much as her sudden outburst had. I didn't know what to say or how to react; not just because of my lack of conversational skills this time: I had no idea what was going on.

After a long pause, she spoke again. "Just ignore me – I'm hearing things because I haven't been sleeping well." Her bleak tone told me she wanted no further conversation.

Whatever had happened, or whatever I'd done to upset her I wanted to take back, but I couldn't because it did not make sense. Or moreover, it didn't make sense to me.

At a loss for words I simply said "oh," and allowed her to increase the distance between us as we passed through the doors to the orientation reception. The excitement I felt this morning at the prospect of seeing Cassie and being able to talk to her faded into the background as we entered the orientation reception.

As Cassie and I walked into this new, smaller space I could feel the protective mask of my usual, secretive self, trying to slip over my unhappy face. I knew what was happening and – for once - I resisted it. There were three others waiting already, dressed similarly to ourselves – with the exception that I hadn't bothered to accessorise my day-suit as they had – and I identified the boy, Joel, from my earlier patrol outside The Clinic. Obviously he didn't recognise me, but I watched his eyes searching for Cassie as we entered, no doubt eager to see if Matthew had been right. All I could tell was that he didn't appear disappointed.

The room was near silent and I could feel the tension rolling off Cassie in waves. The sensation was so strong I was convinced that I would have been able to see the emotion swirling around her like a cloud if I'd looked across. I didn't, because I was sure it would have made her worse at that moment in time. Instead I moved one step closer to her, invisibly closing the gap I'd allowed to open between us earlier. My hope was that – if nothing else – she may feel reassured by having me closer to her.

_Liar_.

I laughed at myself immediately for believing my own excuses. My action was not all for Cassie's sake: Joel and the other two were making their way over to us.

Vaguely, I was aware of the blonde girl standing beside Joel smiling in our direction as we entered. But, I did not pay too much attention; only enough to notice that she was _fully accessorised_ , with bands on her wrists and neck, matching an outrageously large belt at her waist.

I'm sorry to say that I was too distracted by the new beast that was trying to control me. The creature was interested in only one thing: Joel. I couldn't stop myself from scrutinising every movement he made – whilst pretending I wasn't – observing how he reacted to the girl I stood close beside.

I felt, rather than saw, Cassie look in my direction for the first time since the unexplained episode in the foyer. Forcing my features into a relaxed expression, I did not acknowledge her gesture, but remained close beside her all the same. The group of three approached us.

Joel's instant smile and easy manner made me envious at once. It was obvious that he was confident and, infuriatingly, he seemed like he might actually be a nice guy. I barely heard the initial exchange that took place as I was consumed with carefully analysing every non-verbal element of their interaction. _Yes, I know I'm ridiculous_.

It was obvious to me that Cassie responded well to him: the previous anxiety that had suffused the atmosphere around her was gone. The general chatter seemed to ease her nerves well. I was glad for that, at least.

The girl was Olivia. I glanced at her, whilst retaining my focus on the main conversation. She smiled at me and I perceived a slight arrogance in her face. No doubt she was very pretty, but she had the air of a person who was used to everyone finding them attractive. To me her light blue eyes appeared flat; they lacked the intelligence and spark that I found so alluring, and frustrating, in Cassie's features.

Consciously I tuned into the conversation now.

"I'm Karl," the second, nervous looking boy squeaked, "I'm from the Black Zone."

Cassie peeked at me once more, smiling a little I thought at some unknown observation of her own she made. Helpfully, she'd introduced both of us and so I did not appear rude by standing silently as the exchange took place around me. Joel looked at me once or twice, but it was friendly and only in response to the conversation. I assumed he'd taken Matthew's earlier observation on board about Cassie not being involved with anyone from school, and so would not view me as any form of competition. Yes, it seemed that I was the only madman in the group, as usual.

"Mother works in Agriculture, which I really don't fancy, but I'm not the best at science so wanted to make the most of my placement here, which is why I'm on the early rotation." Joel said honestly.

I was sure that his openness and self-deprecating observations would appeal to Cassie. Her uncertainty in her own skills – however unfounded – would surely appreciate how he felt.

"Father's a Medic – works specifically in emergency Medicine here – how about yours?" Joel continued. His focus was on Cassie.

"It's also my father who's a Medic – Mother is an Engineer. His work is focused on research I think, mainly in the labs or something." Cassie's answer sounded a little vague and I wondered what might be distracting her. I knew what I hoped it wasn't.

A brusque looking female Medic entered the room through the sliding doors, effectively ending the conversation at this point. Cassie shuffled aside unnecessarily to let her pass by and I saw the edginess return to her eyes. The Medic marched past us, to the desk at the front of the room, where she collected a waiting mobile viewing screen. Without addressing us, or looking up, she rapidly ran her fingers across the screen, nodding once or twice at whatever it was that she read there.

"I'm Medic Karlina" she introduced herself, without raising her eyes from the screen. Then she progressed straight into her _welcoming_ speech. "I'll be your mentor for the next few days as you get settled in to your placement here. I know all of your parents well and so I appreciate that they have high hopes for at least some of you finding your future roles here with us at The Clinic. There's no need to worry too much if it is not the path for you, there are plenty of other options in the station."

Cassie cast a sidelong glance at me as Medic Karlina addressed us, but she turned away too quickly for me to understand anything from it.

"First of all, we'll be splitting you into pairs for the orientation tours and then we can get start-"

Medic Karlina's words were cut-off abruptly as the sliding doors to the main reception hissed open. Another girl burst into the room, nearly knocking Cassie over and I extended my arms automatically to catch her. I felt a little disappointed when she steadied herself and didn't need them.

"Sorry I'm late!" The new girl gushed, her slightly plump face reddening as she spoke. "I thought I was going for my father's placement today at the farms and I got confused, because it wasn't there I was supposed to be but here, but then it's across the other side of the zone and so I had to run back and..."

Half of her words didn't even make sense to me and she stopped speaking as she cast her eyes nervously around the group she had just barged into the middle of. It was as though her brain had taken a few seconds to catch up with her mouth.

"You would be Rachel from the Black Zone I take it?" Medic Karlina enquired as she considered the girl standing awkwardly in front of us, before returning to the screen she held and rapidly tapping in some instructions.

"Yes," the girl – Rachel – replied breathlessly.

"Well...now you know where you're going to be the rest of the week you won't be late again I take it." The Medic's tone was unnecessarily disparaging and I realised I already did not like this woman, who seemed to take pleasure in someone else's discomfort.

"No," Rachel answered in a tiny voice.

"Good – let's get started then." Medic Karlina was all business again. "You'll be working in pairs for the time being. Balik, you can go with Olivia, Karl with Rachel, and Joel with Cassie."

Disappointment welled inside me when I was not partnered with Cassie. It was stupid of me to have expected such luck in the first place. I saw Olivia smiling acknowledgement in my direction and I knew immediately that this was going to be hard work for me. Intending to be polite I nodded slightly at her in response, already having been distracted by Cassie grinning towards her partner.

Maybe this will be a good thing for her, I mused unable to hide the bitterness I felt at that moment. Cassie would be much better off with someone who wasn't preoccupied by conspiracy theories and dangerous aspirations for escaping from the Family Quarter. The question was, would I be able to stand back and let her have that, if it was what she wanted? I thought so, but the monster growled threateningly in my chest at the idea. It might not be as easy as I hoped.

"You'll get your clean clinic-suits through that door," Medic Karlina directed, "once you're changed, come back here and we'll get you off on your orientation tours."

As instructed I followed the other two boys into the male changing suite, picking up a clean white clinic-suit, which was hanging on a peg beneath a small screen displaying my name. I changed swiftly, not bothering to join in the brief conversation between Joel and Karl. Glancing around to check no one was watching me, I transferred the stolen vitamin tablet to the pocket of my new suit, flattening the light fabric gently to ensure the tiny lump was not visible. After folding my normal day-suit inside my shoulder sac and hooking it onto my peg, I wandered back out into the orientation reception room.

With a few moments alone – well, almost alone: Medic Karlina had her back to me, engrossed in whatever was on her viewing screen – I stood in the centre of the small room wondering about what the tour might entail. I'd already visited The Clinic several times with Mother as a young child and then had been in numerous times since on the pretence of visiting Mother at work, so I had a very good idea of where everything was. The things I wanted would be in the biochemistry labs on the seventh floor, which would no doubt be included on the tour. My only problem was how to get them.

My scheming was interrupted when Cassie came back into the room. She patted her hair nervously, smoothing it over the shoulders of the unfamiliar suit. The bright white contrasted with her dark hair and made her eyes stand out in a different way than normal: they looked soulful. Beautiful. That was until she noticed me. I smiled in what I thought was a friendly manner, but the only response I got was the glimmer of a frown, which she swiftly shook away as she approached.

"Are you actually looking forward to this?" she grouched. I could only assume that Cassie was still unhappy about starting the placement, just as she had been when we spoke after the exam. _Well, at least she was speaking to me again and didn't appear to be angry anymore._

"A little – why – aren't you?" I asked innocently – Cassie's grumpy expression was so cute – I couldn't help smiling once more as I teased her. She had no need to be so nervous, it was laughable really: after myself and Eli, Cassie was the best at science in our class. I was sure the placement at The Clinic would pose her no problems. This insecurity was unexpected, albeit unfounded.

Cassie only shook her head in response to my question. If she was going to say anything more it was interrupted by Joel emerging from the changing room. His face lit up with a bright smile when he saw her and he loped over to wait with us.

"You looking forward to this morning, partner?" Joel grinned, entirely focused on Cassie. The beast inside me rumbled with discontent.

"Sure," she nodded slightly, returning his smile.

You little liar!

I scowled, when I saw that her smile did not reach her eyes. Why would she pretend for someone she hardly knew? Cassie caught me frowning at her and I hurried to erase the expression, kicking myself, because the only reason I was _supposed_ to be here was getting information from Cassie. I needed to get a grip on myself, I was swooning over Cassie like a fool!

It was not long before the entire group had reassembled in the orientation reception. A little band of brightly clad children now stood waiting for instruction. Most seemed excited, although I still sensed Cassie's apprehension as I tried to ignore her quiet conversation with Joel. The girl, Olivia, joined me and then each pair was allocated to one of the new Medics, who had appeared in the last few minutes.

Joel and Cassie were the first to leave: trailing behind the designated Medic with portable viewing screens clasped in their hands. I was vaguely conscious that Olivia was standing by my elbow chatting away rapidly, but so far I had tuned out the droning noise. I would not be lucky enough to do that all day, I was sure.

They were leaving. I knew I shouldn't be paying attention to Cassie – I was only feeding the monster – but I couldn't help myself. The doors were sliding shut and I watched her disappear from view. I felt a stab of irrational disappointment, before shaking myself for being so stupid.

_So, what?_ Cassie had seemed happy to see me when I first saw her outside The Clinic, but ever since that moment she apparently wanted nothing to do with me. Maybe she was speaking to me just because she bored, or easily distracted.

At the last second Cassie turned around in the doorway, looking directly at me, straight into my eyes. My previous internal conversation was forgotten as I fell under her spell again.

What would she see in my eyes – the truth?

The idea scared me because in that instant I felt as though Cassie was seeing right into my mind: that she could see me for what I really was.

Would she see the monster too? The selfish creature who wanted everything he shouldn't?

All I could do was turn away: for fear that she would _really_ see me. Cassie could never see that, I knew; it would only drag her down with me. I saw her hand lift in a wave before I turned, but I could not respond...could not move. I would betray myself if I did.

### Chapter 6

Deep breath, I told myself firmly. Take a big, deep breath and relax. I searched for some form of distraction. There was nothing except the mobile screen I had in my hands. 11.06am – the viewing screen clock advised me. My heart sank.

Olivia was walking next to me, still talking. I'm not sure that she'd actually stopped yet. Even when our guide, Medic Levi, was speaking I could hear Olivia muttering asides to me, providing a commentary of everything we were doing...or that she was thinking about...or things she had already done... My tactic, of politely ignoring her, had not diminished her enthusiasm for the one-sided conversation at all.

However, Fortune had smiled on me in one aspect, even if she had seen fit to inflict Olivia on me. We were now sat on the seventh floor of The Clinic in biochemistry. Medic Levi had left us for fifty-minutes to complete some basic blood work analysis and would be returning for us after that. The lab was nearly empty, with only one other Medic working nearby and he was paying us no attention whatsoever. All I had to do was distract Olivia for a few minutes so that I could get my hands on a couple of analysis kits and a blood tester. But _that_ was proving to be the biggest challenge yet.

Appealing to Olivia's academic side had not worked. I genuinely had no idea why she had come on the early class rotation, as she seemed to have no interest in actually learning anything. When I'd suggested that we split up to do the task so we could both practice, she'd pouted a little and tried to persuade me to do the testing for her. Every time I'd attempted to move away from her to _familiarise myself with the facility_ , she'd trailed along beside me, offering random observations and a running commentary about how much fun we were going to have on our placement together. It was getting ridiculous.

"...so glad we were put together as partners..." Olivia was saying as she flicked her golden hair across her shoulder for about the fiftieth time. "It would be _so_ much fun to get to know each other outside the placement too, don't you think?" It must have been a rhetorical question as she continued without a breath. "I have _so_ many friends and I'm sure they'd love to meet you and find out how well we're doing on our placement and –"

"That sounds great, Olivia," I interrupted. It felt rude, but I realised she wasn't going to stop otherwise. "I don't want to be impolite or anything," I lowered my voice, drawing close to her. "But, you've got something black stuck at the front of your teeth. You might want to get it out before we see the others for lunch."

Olivia leaned away from me, pulling her hand up to cover her mouth. With her eyes widening in embarrassment, I knew I'd found the one thing that would get her off my back for a few minutes. Vanity.

I was already moving towards the storage racks – where the various test kits and chemicals were held – when Olivia bolted out of the lab door. At best I probably had two minutes to find what I needed before she made it back. Glancing across at the Medic, I was happy to see he was still ignoring me as conscientiously as ever. I swiftly flicked through the various packages, vials and equipment on the shelf.

I found nothing on the first shelf, but on the next I found the basic chemical testing kits. In a cupboard beside it I found the small vials of acid I wanted and I was just straightening up with the tubes in my hand, when Olivia's voice at my elbow had me spinning on the spot in a panic.

"What are you up to?"

"N-n-nothing," I stammered nervously, adrenaline coursing through my system as my fear of being caught triggered. _What had she seen? What would she say about my stealing the chemicals?_

"I know – this is so _boring_ isn't it?" Olivia whispered leaning forwards conspiratorially. "And – there was nothing in my teeth!" She swiped my arm lightly, nearly making me drop the vial of acid I still held, concealed inside my fist. "You were just teasing me weren't you? You're so mean!"

When she huffed at me, I saw that Olivia's mock-anger was carefully engineered to ensure she remained perfectly pretty. A sigh of relief heaved from my chest, as I understood that she had seen nothing. "You caught me," I tried to smile back, "I was just teasing you."

"So mean!" she exclaimed again, not releasing my arm until I moved away.

"We should really finish up the assignment," I reminded her, hoping that the change of subject would help get Olivia away from me a little, so I could properly conceal my stolen goodies.

"I've barely done half of mine. It's _so_ dull!" Olivia sounded whiney, like a child. But, she did step away from me, providing enough space that I could push the last tube of liquid out of my palm and into the sleeve of my clinic-suit. It reassured me that Olivia was just bored. I was actually more grateful that she hadn't seemed to wonder why I was so interested in chemicals we weren't even using.

Smiling automatically, as the effects of my adrenaline rush began to fade away, a new plan was forming in my head. The vials of liquid were safely hidden inside the sleeves of my clinic-suit and the testing kit was in my pocket. I'd gotten what I came for.

"I've already finished mine. Why don't I help you with yours?" I offered obligingly, not expecting Olivia to refuse. I was right. Her face illuminated with a bright smile, that looked well practised, and it made me believe that she was accustomed to people doing things for her.

Moving away from the storage bank towards Olivia's workbench, I lined up the tiny plastic test tubes and got to work. She hovered around my shoulder chattering as I ran through the various tests and completed the subsequent analysis. They'd given us really basic things to work with today, so it was not at all taxing and I finished the task with time to spare.

"You seem really good at this stuff," Olivia noticed as I cleared away the empty tubes and equipment. "Why are you on an early rotation?"

Her observation surprised me. So far she'd appeared far too self-centred to take in anything anyone else might be doing or saying. It was just my luck that she would spot this anomaly.

"Don't be fooled," I laughed, dismissing her words with a wave towards the items on the bench. "I can play with test tubes well enough, but that's pretty much it. I don't recommend that you let me operate on you anytime soon!"

Without further questions Olivia accepted my explanation and began giggling along with me: a tinkling soprano vibrating above my own fake laugh. Happily distracted – and with our work now completed – Olivia began babbling once more, maintaining a constant stream of noise until Medic Levi returned after exactly sixty minutes and dismissed us from the lab for the midday break.

We were barely out of the door when Olivia pounced on me.

"Do you want to get some lunch?" she asked eagerly, her eyes intent on my face.

The small plastic vials of acid I'd hidden up the sleeves of my clinic-suit were dangerously close to one another, and I was critically aware of the tiny clinking noises they made bumping into each other as I moved. I wished – more than anything right now – that this girl would leave me alone. Of course, life would not be that kind and so it was up to me to find some way of distracting her. Again.

"I'm not really that hungry," I said, just as my stomach gurgled loudly in protest.

"Sure you are!"

Olivia overruled me, linking her arm through mine and pulling me away with her along the corridor. Resistance was futile and so I was limply dragged beside her as she started chattering once more. My initial assessment of her had been right: she was so confident (and a little controlling) it was becoming obvious that she wasn't used to being refused anything.

My main concern was keeping Olivia from feeling the lumpy shapes of the tubes inside my sleeves, and so I did not pull my arm away from her, as I wanted to. But, I still needed to get away...time for an excuse.

"I, er, need to stop back at the orientation reception. I left something in my bag." I struggled to lie. My excuse sounded lame, as Olivia dragged me into one of the numerous lifts that would take us back to the ground floor of The Clinic.

"No, it can wait," she assured me, smiling prettily from beneath her lashes in order to cover her domineering assertion. That must normally work on people as she appeared very surprised when I became insistent.

"It can't actually," I said through slightly clenched teeth, irritated by her but still trying to remain polite. "You can go ahead for lunch without me and I'll meet you later." No such luck.

"Oh I couldn't do that – and leave you to have lunch on your own on the first day? Don't worry I'll wait for you."

Olivia's words were coupled with a dazzling smile that irked me even more. However, I was in no position to argue: the thin vials were pressing into the flesh on my arm and it wouldn't be long before Olivia felt them too, if I didn't extract myself from her grasp.

"Sure – that's really nice of you – thanks," I smiled, turning to face her as the doors of the elevator opened at the main reception. My abrupt show of friendliness was intended as a diversion and it worked. Pleased by my response, Olivia was happily distracted for a few seconds and I used the opportunity to unwind her arm from mine in a way that protected the tubes, but still released me. "I'll be back in a minute," I assured her and dashed away towards the orientation area before she could think about joining me.

The small reception room was empty as I entered. Even the administrative clerk, who had been busy behind the desk that morning, was absent. I had the space to myself, but moved at a pace; not completely sure that Olivia wouldn't follow me, even with my promise to return fresh in her mind.

The compact male changing room was empty, as expected. I hurried to the hook where I'd left my bag and eased the fastening open a few inches. My day-suit was inside, still arranged neatly. Pushing my right arm into the middle of the folds, I eased the tubes out of the end of my sleeve and hid them among the creases. Copying the action with my left arm, I then emptied my suit pockets. It took only a few moments to deposit the contraband, then I closed the bag securely, after ensuring that the vials could not be seen beneath the clothes.

With my objective achieved, the anxious cloud of air that I'd been holding inside me gushed out and the tension evaporated. I only had silly things to worry about now: like the temptation to remain in the small changing room rather than returning to find Olivia. Unfortunately I could not do that. The sigh that escaped through my lips this time was one of resignation, as I thought of who was waiting for me outside. And who I wished it could be instead.

Leaving the room, more slowly this time, I passed through the still empty reception space and entered the busier foyer of The Clinic. I saw Olivia at once, standing by the main entrance running her fingers through her hair. She was glancing slowly from one side to another as she waited, appearing quite casual, although I wondered whether she was looking for me or looking to see who was watching her. Maybe that was unfair. It didn't stop me thinking it though.

"Hey," I said as I drew closer, attracting Olivia's attention.

"Hi," she smiled, dropping her hand immediately. "There's a cantina over there," she pointed across the plaza and I saw the medium-sized eatery I'd passed numerous times that morning while completing my circuits in front of The Clinic.

"Sounds good," I agreed, working to sound enthusiastic. Olivia showed no sign that she detected any false note in my voice.

A new – and pleasing – thought came to mind as I surveyed the number of people heading towards the cantina. _Perhaps Cassie would be there_. Setting off across the square I managed to stay slightly ahead of Olivia as she trotted to keep up. My speed was partly related to the anticipation of seeing Cassie, but was more to prevent Olivia the opportunity of linking onto me again and dragging me along like a floppy fool, as she had before. It had not taken me long to deduce that her overbearing nature was one of her least attractive qualities. What was that old Earth saying about beauty only being skin deep...?

As we walked towards the entrance we passed the café's panoramic windows and I glanced inside. At one of the tables Joel sat close beside Cassie and was running his hand slowly up her arm to her shoulder. I was caught off guard by the surge of emotion that crashed over me when I saw this. Without thinking for one second about what I was doing, I was lunging towards the entrance like a madman, my eyes locked onto Cassie and Joel through the window. Fortunately, a group of people were coming out just as I shoved my way toward the door. They blocked both my view and my path for a few torturous seconds.

I froze in place, my previous momentum evaporating, and when the group moved past me I stayed where I was, rooted to the spot. Staring back through the window I watched Cassie pull Joel's hand away from her arm shaking her head and frowning. That wasn't what I expected. Then she repeated what Joel had just been doing: with short, practical movements her hands gently but swiftly examined his shoulder, before she elevated his arm and had him take hold of his own elbow with his other hand, pressing it firmly into place. They were practicing something they had learned that morning, I realised with relief. At least, that's what Cassie was doing.

Joel's disappointment was obvious to me – I snickered at his expression – apparently his affection was lost on Cassie, as she turned back to her lunch. I only had a second or two to enjoy the moment before I realised what I had been about to do.

_What the hell was wrong with me?_ I meant nothing to Cassie – we'd barely spoken to each other four times in our lives! There was no reason for me to feel...how _did_ I feel? Irritated? Or was furious closer to the mark? To my rational mind it made no sense at all.

"Whoa! Where's the emergency?" Olivia appeared at my side. "You can't possibly be _that_ hungry." She smiled up at me, as we began moving with the other diners towards the main entrance and the queue.

"No," I agreed, not really giving her my full attention, "I just thought I saw someone I knew, that's all." Thankfully she accepted my lame response.

Reaching the doorway of the canteen, I merged into the stream of people heading inside, Olivia squeezed in next to me. She was already talking again. I gazed around me, not hearing Olivia's babble. None of the Medics appeared to be eating here: their distinctive dark blue clinic-suits were notably absent from the queue and tables. It was odd, as I couldn't recall seeing a canteen inside The Clinic that would cater for them, and there were not a huge number of other dining spaces nearby.

Perhaps, once you're an adult, there's no one to rigidly manage whether or not you have your assigned meals, I mused, as we joined a short queue to be served.

My back was towards the tables as we waited. I really wanted to turn around and find Cassie again, but could not do that without being rude to Olivia, who was – of course – gabbing away at that moment in time and demanding my attention. The other pair from our placement – Karl and Rachel – appeared behind us in the queue and I nodded politely at them as they recognised us. Olivia was in the process of flicking her hair across her shoulder to emphasise some point she was making, when I caught a glimpse of Karl's face as he watched her. _Oh yes, he was a fan of hers all right_.

Realising that my best chance of escape would be to involve Karl and Rachel in the conversation – or at least incorporate them into Olivia's monologue – I held out for a suitable lull to draw them in.

"How's your day been so far?" I asked both Karl and Rachel in the single question, focusing on each of them one after another, hoping that they would answer fast enough to stop Olivia starting again.

Karl was too distracted to be any use at all: he barely looked at me to acknowledge that I'd spoken because he was so busy gawping at Olivia. Rachel was better. She smiled shyly at me as soon as I looked at her; delight obvious on her face at having been brought into the conversation. Once animated her plain features blossomed warmly into a friendly, open expression, and after initiating this as a distraction I felt like I actually might be interested in Rachel's answer. I smiled my encouragement and listened carefully to the shy girl as she began talking, ignoring the palpable displeasure I felt radiating from Olivia as the focus of attention shifted away from her.

The queue moved forwards at that moment and I found myself standing before one of the service points. I held my wrist over the scanner, which tracked my presence and brought up a menu plan for the server to respond to. He worked swiftly, gathering the required items from heated gourmet stations and chilled cabinets to meet my pre-selected options, finally handing me the tray filled with food.

"Thanks," I took the offered tray.

"No problem, you can have unlimited juice or water to accompany your lunch today and don't forget to collect your vitamin from the auto-vendor." The server replied helpfully, pointing out where each was.

"Thanks," I said again, turning away at the same time as Rachel and Olivia received their meals. We walked towards the drink station together, giving Rachel the chance to finish answering my previous question.

"It's been really interesting so far," she breathed, her voice much softer and less shrill than she had sounded under the scrutiny of Medic Karlina. "I'm glad I opted for this earlier rotation though," she blushed lightly at the admission, her dark curly hair nudging automatically forward to shield her face, like some form of integral protection mechanism. "Science isn't a natural strong point for me and I think I'll need all the help I can get on this placement."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," I smiled in response to her words, trying to be reassuring. Her nervous, but grateful, smile convinced me that I had struck the right balance. Maybe I was better with people than I gave myself credit for? I glanced at Rachel again. Or perhaps, I was only good with the ones who were even bigger nervous-wrecks than I was! Whatever the reason, it felt right to try and continue the conversation; I might as well continue pretending I'm a real human being while I'm on a roll. We collected our drinks and I was about to ask something else when I recognised a booming male voice behind me.

"No problem!"

Turning towards the sound, I saw Joel weaving swiftly between tables heading in our direction talking loudly over his shoulder as he went. His tall body angled gracefully around the seated diners, even though he was looking in the opposite direction. It didn't look like he was going to trip over his own feet and land face first in someone's lunch any time soon. _Shame._

"I'll grab that for you, I want some more juice anyway," he called out. Following Joel's line of sight, my chest swelled happily as I recognised a familiar face sitting at a corner table towards the back of the canteen.

"Hey!" Joel bellowed in greeting, when he noticed me watching him approach.

"Hey," I echoed more quietly. "Are you still eating?" It was too far away for me to tell if Cassie had any food left or not.

"Nah, nearly finished. Just getting some more juice and Cassie's vitamin tablet."

"Right," I nodded slowly, trying to disguise any disappointment in my voice.

"We'll be here for a bit though. I think Cassie's still finishing – we're sat over there." Joel turned and pointed out the area I was already moving towards.

Trying to ignore the little grumpy niggle I felt at Joel referring to Cassie and himself as _we_ , I moved forwards. _Could I be any more deluded?!_ We – WE – he was simply using a standard convention of language. I shook my head, trying to dismiss the fact that I was just not normal.

Winding through the other diners, I could sense Olivia following closely behind. Even that wasn't enough to wipe the smile from my face as I approached Cassie's table. At five paces away Cassie looked up unexpectedly, her face filling with a beautiful smile when she saw me. Violent warmth exploded in my chest in response and it took all the control I could muster to stop me tossing my food tray aside and leaping across the remaining gap. I would have to get a grip on myself, this was beyond desperate!

Dropping into a seat across from Cassie, I flicked a brief glance in her direction. "How's your morning been?" My voice sounded impressively nonchalant, in spite of the loud hammering in my rib cage. I concentrated on my movements carefully as I unpacked the contents of my tray onto the table and stowed it away, worried that my shaking hands might accidentally throw my lunch into Cassie's face. Finally, I settled into place, trying to ignore Olivia as she sat close beside me.

"Great," Cassie enthused, answering my question. It sounded like an automatic response, but when she continued speaking I knew that she was telling the truth. "Better than I thought it might be actually."

"Oh good," I was glad that her worries had come to nothing after all. Then I noticed Joel winding himself into the chair next to Cassie and wondered if there might be another reason for her sudden change of heart. _That_ would not make me so happy.

Cassie smiled friendlily at Joel as he handed her a vitamin tablet; it made me uncomfortable to see her so easily allowing someone else to look after her.

_As if that could be you_! I scoffed at myself as the errant thought flashed through my mind. I wanted to argue back, but the voice was right. Why bother making a connection with someone if I was committed to the course of action I'd promised myself I was?

I wanted to break out of the Family Quarter and if Cassie was able to help me work out how to do it, then that was fine. Allowing this much was already a significant change to my original plan, and it was a decision I was still questioning every minute. But I couldn't, and shouldn't, involve her any more than I had to. It wasn't fair, and it was an unknown danger I would not inflict on her. I needed to get it straight inside my head: Cassie was a source of information, nothing more.

_Cassie is a source of information_ , I repeated as my eyes roamed over her face, dropping lower to the curve of her throat where her day suit was slightly unbuttoned at the top and then...STOP!

What part of a "source of information" was I unclear on?

OK – so my head had got the message loud and clear, even if my hormones disagreed.

Trying to distract myself, I opened my mouth thinking to say something else, but my appetite for both my lunch and the conversation had vanished, so I closed it silently. There was a short period of quiet at the table – highly shocking as Olivia was sat with us – while those of us with food focused on eating. My fork dipped and rose between my mouth and plate as I forced the unnoticed food items down my throat in a bid to distract myself from my morbid observations. I felt myself wallowing. It didn't matter that I knew it was the right thing to try and stay away from Cassie – I still _wanted_ something else.

"How's your day been so far?" Cassie asked, finally disturbing the silence. Even without looking at her I knew that the question was directed at me and so I hurried to swallow the mouthful of food I was chewing. But I was not fast enough and Olivia elected to answer on my behalf.

"It's been wonderful," she prattled excitedly, looking around the table, presumably ensuring that all eyes were on her. My mean streak was really working overtime today. "We've been all through The Clinic and seen our parents – they work on the same ward funnily enough – "

"Funny," Cassie smiled back at her, sarcasm infusing the single word she uttered. I almost choked on my mouthful of food as I laughed silently at her response: you could hear Cassie rolling her eyes as she spoke. Of course, Olivia was oblivious and continued regardless. Karl and Rachel had the misfortune of joining us as she hit full flow and I knew, just from my experience that morning that there was no stopping her now.

Very much relieved for once that I was not alone, I ducked my head down and concentrated on eating, taking things more slowly this time. At least with a bigger audience I did not have to give Olivia the same level of attention she'd been demanding from me all morning. Rachel seemed to be responsive enough and made all the right noises as Olivia continued. I was grateful for the respite.

Keeping my head low I peeked surreptitiously in Cassie's direction. She had been looking around the occupants of the table as Olivia spoke, before becoming particularly interested in Joel I noticed. I wasn't the only one. A moment later Joel glanced up and saw her looking at him; she didn't notice his pleased smile as she turned away. But I did, and I saw the blush that crept onto her cheeks as well. _Was it embarrassment or something else?_ I considered her expression as Cassie focused her attention back on Olivia.

The red faded from Cassie's cheeks as I watched. Then she noticed my gaze and turned towards me. For once I didn't look away – she was drawing my attention completely – even though I could sense that Cassie felt uncomfortable under my scrutiny. She was the one who turned away eventually, listening to Olivia once more as I returned to my lunch.

A minute later, Cassie stood up abruptly, her plate in her hand. "I'm heading back to The Clinic now, I'll see you later."

"Hang on a minute, I'll come with you," I told Cassie, letting my fork fall onto the half-eaten plate of food with a soft clatter. There was no time for her to decline my offer, as I gathered up our remaining utensils and followed her towards the disposal area, near to the serving hatches. "See you later," I called behind me to the others as I went.

As we approached the exit I pulled Cassie's tray from her fingers, indicating with a small bob of my head that I was attempting to be gentlemanly. For a second I thought she was going to pull it out of my reach, but then seemed to change her mind. Turning my back to Cassie as I moved into the disposal area, I carefully split my leftovers between the two plates before sliding them onto the small conveyor belt. I'd only eaten half of my assigned meal and knew it would flag up as a fault and report to my parents if I didn't do something to cover up the fact. Over two plates I was confident it would be below the acceptable food wastage level and not show up.

"You didn't have to join me," Cassie muttered, once I'd deposited our trays and left the canteen. She sounded a little tetchy and I wondered if that was because of my earlier behaviour.

"I know. I just wanted to talk to you." I replied, ignoring the light hostility in her tone. She nodded in acceptance, but did not say anything else. I got the distinct impression that Cassie was going to make me speak if I wanted to talk to her and I smiled to myself at that thought. Smart girl, I acknowledged, not letting me push her into making small talk. "So, how've you _really_ found it this morning?"

"Good – like I said before – better than I expected," she was frank but not unfriendly.

"Why's that?" I probed, hoping to draw her into the conversation.

"Well, for one thing, Joel's pretty good company and so the time has gone quickly. But, there's also more happening at The Clinic than I realised before."

Yeah, that's what I didn't want to hear, I muttered silently and drifted away into slightly unpleasant musings for a few minutes. My thoughts made the monster in my stomach snarl restlessly.

"Is today what _you_ expected?"

Cassie's question broke into my thoughts – her impatience with my daydreaming rather obvious in her tone.

"Mostly," I replied thinking back to that morning. Of course, I'd not really built up any expectations: I had only made my plans to join this rotation two days ago and that decision was based purely on wanting to spend time with Cassie to find out if she did know anything that might help me with my _hobbies_. A huff of irritated air escaped my lungs as I recalled the one difficult aspect of the placement so far. "I could do without the running commentary from Olivia," I admitted, before wondering whether I should be so honest with Cassie, when I was being negative.

"Has it been a bit hard work?"

I smirked a little at the blatantly false tone of innocence in Cassie's question. "I think you know _exactly_ what it's been like for me this morning." I told her, working up to a contemptuous scowl whilst still controlling my own amusement. Cassie saw straight through me and a mischievous grin lit up her face as we walked back inside The Clinic.

"I don't suppose having Olivia as a partner suited your quieter side, then?"

She chuckled when I shook my head glumly. "You suppose right," I agreed, meeting her gaze. Cassie's eyes locked onto mine and in the few seconds that we stood there I could think of nothing else but her and how it felt to be close to her. It was a chore to pull myself together: I could have happily drifted a lot longer standing staring at her. If I did that I had no doubt she would soon see my inner stalker peering out at her. Or perhaps Cassie would see something even worse, if I allowed myself the indulgence of getting close to her. I looked away.

"She seems very nice and everything," I said, returning back to our most recent topic of conversation and trying to sound normal, not mean. "But definitely not for me." I hoped that Cassie would hear the insistence in my voice when I said this – not that it would matter – but I had to say it for myself all the same.

* * *

My knees felt stiff from sitting cross-legged, but that didn't make me move. I was still too shocked to think about doing anything productive, and so I stayed where I was. I was a statue, holding a test tube and questioning my life.

My personal mini-screen – re-wired and programmed to my own specification – was balanced on my legs, open at the page I had just discovered. I had never thought to look for urine analysis records before. As ever, new knowledge of my world brought only more questions. Today's question was: why would my vitamin tablets contain oestrogen and dopamine?

I stared at the graph filling the screen. It told me that as natural testosterone levels in my body had increased, the changes were identified through urine samples, taken every time I visited the bathroom. Periodically, where changes had been registered, I had apparently reached _trigger points_ – marked on the graph with red asterisks – and had more accurate blood samples taken to verify the testosterone levels. I recalled the blood samples being taken: donation days at school...iron level testing...general health checks. None of it was for what they said it was, and the results had been used to confirm adjustments to my daily vitamin supplements. The follow up reports, on the associated screens that I could click through to, told me that all of this was being used to fine-tune my body chemistry.

Oestrogen and dopamine...it was to reduce my testosterone levels.

"Damn it!"

My fist slammed into the grass beside me leaving a clear dent in the soil and crushed blades beneath my knuckles. Was all of this to control us...? Was it to stop us being self-destructive and _real_ ...? This was part of our very nature! And it was being taken away without our knowledge.

I wouldn't be taking my 'vitamins' again, of that I was sure!

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Was this any worse than knowing that someone could listen to our conversations and private communications?

Perhaps it was connected...?

Well, I already had a plan that would help me with this; I would just implement it sooner than intended. First I needed to change my urine results: according to the monitoring system, I was heading towards another trigger point soon. In a few seconds I adjusted my numbers back into the _normal_ range and made a mental note to return to the system daily to keep them that way.

With that completed, I struggled to my feet, ignoring the stiff pain in my legs from sitting so long, and moved to the clearing behind the rock overhang. I reached into the branches at the base of a large bush growing there, and pulled a section away. A clump of soil clung to the roots of the small bush I held in my hand, being careful not to damage the roots I set it carefully aside on the ground.

_The perfect disguise_ ... I grinned down at the small bush. When I had been looking for a safe place to keep my secrets, I realised that literally burying them was not a bad idea. After digging a hole beneath the large bush, I had installed a waterproof box to hide everything away. The only problem was that, even though nobody else seemed to come up here, it was obvious the earth had been disturbed. I took a cutting from the original bush, nurturing it as a sapling, caring for it until it could be planted on its own, beneath the larger one. The roots of the smaller plant remained shallow, growing over my box of secrets, lifting easily in and out of place when I required.

Symbiosis. The bush needed me: I cared for it, fed it and gave it life. I needed the bush: it gave me security and camouflage. We were two living things, dependent on each other.

When I thought of this now, why did Cassie pop into my head...?

Because I was mildly obsessed, maybe...?

Probably.

A light sprinkling of soil covered the top of the box. I brushed the dirt aside with the back of my hand, so that I could lift the lid away cleanly. The soil felt a little dry. Moving back to the overhang, I returned a moment later with my bag and flask of water. After liberally splashing the roots of the small bush with the water, I turned my attention back to the box. Reaching into the hole, I opened the crate for the second time that day.

Placing the lid beside me, I looked down into the plastic case embedded in the ground. One metre by forty centimetres, it held nearly everything precious to me: every tool I'd stolen, every gadget I'd made...every answer I had found. For a few seconds my hand hovered over a large black box. It was a rainbow maker I'd made for a school science project. I smiled briefly, as I remembered this creation as my first attempt to talk to Cassie. Obviously, it hadn't worked!

We were ten years old, and during a geography class on meteorology I overheard Cassie telling Ami how much she would love to see a real rainbow. When the science fair was announced a week later, I had seen it as my chance to make an impression. The rainbow maker had worked well, if not perfectly, and I won the competition. Needless to say, Cassie hadn't come near my display and I had not made the impression I had intended. Perhaps, that was when I'd given up on the idea of following Scarlett's instruction to engage with Cassie...?

Pushing the memories aside – I wasn't here to reminisce – my gaze darted around the case looking for what I needed. In the far left corner was a small chilled cylinder: white plastic outer casing with a vacuum wall encasing a storage space, permanently cooling the contents. Gripping the cylinder securely I pulled it from the case, placing it onto the ground and settled down beside it.

The clasp on the flask was stiff, holding the lid tight over the contents, ensuring there was no gap between the two seals that might allow air to seep in. I had _re-appropriated_ it from The Clinic that afternoon, not thinking that I might need it so soon. Inside was a single syringe, filled with a virus/gene-therapy mix I had developed myself and finally been able to put together today.

Our rotation in the labs this afternoon was the first time I'd _ever_ gotten close to materials I needed, although not through lack of trying. I remembered a number of failed attempts to get into the virology area during "visits" to see Mother at work, but they had always been off limits, no matter what I tried. Today I had just walked straight in – it was the easiest thing I'd ever done – and it had all come about by accident, because Olivia was too lazy to do her own work.

Olivia had actually been given the easier task this afternoon, but "stock taking" obviously hadn't sounded that interesting. Of course, I was happy to swap with her when I realised where it would take me. For the first time ever, I was grateful that she was my partner! Once I was inside the virology lab there was no stopping me. This plan had been six-months in the making...who knew that stalking a classmate onto an early placement rotation would throw up such good opportunities on the first day?

As requested by our Medic, I diligently undertook an inventory of the virology lab stock. It was here, among the existing stock of gene-therapies designed to help with specific conditions we treated in The Clinic, that I found the raw virus components I needed for my own project. Each of the vials contained the basic virus, which could be used in conjunction with any specified gene-therapy to deliver genetic changes to the person it was put into. Of course, you had to accept being ill as a side effect of whatever improvement was being made, but I saw that as a small price to pay.

Our technology was based on a technique that biologists on Earth had developed at the start of the twenty-first century. It had been used to cure genetic diseases initially – as we used it now – but on Earth improving quality of life was not where the money had been, and it was the military applications that developed most prolifically, according to the research I'd done. It sounded simple: new genetic material, attached to a virus, which could be delivered directly into a soldier's system. Within days the body would fight off the virus, but the genetic enhancement – strength, intelligence, indifference – placed inside the body would remain as a permanent change.

It sounded simple, but it wasn't. Delivering the right changes to the right areas of the body was the crucial part. The historical records I had access to excluded any references to failures there had been during research, but I knew there must have been; it was a simple fact of science...few things happen as you might expect in your first experiment. So that had ruled out experimenting on myself: as much as I _thought_ I knew about human biology, I just had no safe way of creating my own virus delivery system.

Now I didn't have to. The perfect virus sat beside me, a gift from my first placement day at The Clinic. Reaching into my bag I pulled out another chiller cylinder, identical to the first. This was all my handiwork: the genetic material to be introduced. If my calculations were correct I would see a five percent increase in muscle capacity, which didn't sound much, but the associated benefits: faster regeneration and repair; improved strength and flexibility, were what I was interested in.

For some unknown reason, The Council was changing us physically: suppressing our natural human chemistry and replacing it with one of their own. Well, two could play at that game and I was happy to give up a few days to sickness in order to take my life back. I would prepare the dose today and then inject it on Friday afternoon, I could hide being ill for a couple of days over the weekend. Who was there to notice except my absent parents?

### Chapter 7

It had been another very long day at The Clinic. In all honesty I was unsure how much longer I could survive the daily onslaught on Olivia's one-sided conversations, whilst having to be mindful of dumbing myself down in her company, so that it did not appear out of place that I was on the extended rotation. Nearly two weeks on from my initial decision to join Cassie on her placement at The Clinic and I was still only managing to see her for a short while at lunch and sometimes at either end of the day, if I was lucky enough to get the timings right.

That's why I currently found myself racing along the near-empty ninth floor corridor towards the bank of lifts at the end. Medic Levi had sent Olivia on an errand elsewhere in The Clinic a short while ago, which provided me the opportunity to complete the tasks in the lab at my normal pace. Naturally, I'd finished well before the allocated hour was up and so – slightly surprised by my unusually quick work – he'd allowed me to leave early as there was nothing else on our schedule for that day. Without Olivia's presence to slow down my work, or commandeer my attention as an audience to her latest monologue, I was virtually skipping out the door, guaranteed to be in time to see Cassie.

Making a swift detour via the dressing room to collect my bag, I didn't bother to change back into my day-suit from the clinic whites, intent on not wasting a second of the short time I would have with Cassie before her father appeared to walk home with her. I was at the entrance to The Clinic, ready to wait for her, half a minute later.

But, Cassie was already there when I appeared by the doorway. Even with my early finish she'd still managed to get away before me. Grudgingly I had to acknowledge that she and Joel worked well together: they were always the first pair to complete any of the joint tasks we were given. Slightly arrogantly I thought that if I was working at my normal rate I would have been able to finish similarly to them, but that never happened because of Olivia's permanent presence by my side. I cast my mind back to the first day of the placement and recalled Joel's comments about "not being the best at science." Perhaps he and Cassie were more alike than I thought, and were both more modest about their skills than necessary. I liked this idea. It explained their regular success and – for me – was much more palatable than concluding that the pair of them together made a good team.

"Hi there," I called cheerfully as I ambled toward Cassie. At the sound of my voice she turned around, a bright smile filling her face. The mid-afternoon light bounced off the overhead mirrors illuminating warm, golden highlights in her dark hair. As I drew closer I looked for the familiar green sparkle of her eyes and was not disappointed when her gaze met mine.

All of the casual conversation openings I'd been practising in my head, as I trudged through the basic tasks in the lab, were instantly forgotten when I saw Cassie.

"Beautiful," I murmured to myself, realising a moment too late that I had not been quiet enough that she wouldn't hear me, now that I was so close.

"Pardon?" Cassie's expression was a perfect combination of surprise and bemusement as the single-word question fell from her lips.

What could I say? Cassie had heard what I'd said, it was obvious from her face. How had I let one word from my head slip out of my mouth like that? As soon as I'd spoken I wanted to take it back but couldn't. I'd not even given Cassie the chance to say "hello" and I was already being stupid.

What could I say?

My mind, very unhelpfully, was completely blank, and so I was left with no choice but to repeat what I'd said originally.

"Beautiful." I muttered my inadvertent admission more loudly this time; looking away from Cassie's face with embarrassment and staring into the middle-distance. Deep breath...clear throat..."I meant to say that you look beautiful today."

My intestines cringed into a tiny ball as I explained myself. The attempt I made at a dismissive shrug – to lighten the mood that had settled over us – was laughable. I still wanted to take back what I'd said but there was no way that I could that now and so I blushed.

Blushed!

I couldn't believe it as I felt the crimson heat rise on my cheeks. There was nothing to stop Cassie seeing it and that only made me blush even more. Then it hit me: a sudden realisation – something a hundred times worse than the redness blossoming on my face – I was in love with her.

_Love._ At least I was starting to love her. I should have realised this before now! I might have done if I'd been paying attention, but I hadn't been and now it was too late. When had our relationship stopped being about my plans to get out of the Family Quarter and started being something else?

_Idiot!_ I laughed at myself for being so blind, so ignorant. Had this – whatever _it_ was – ever really been about my plans? Had there been any point, since the day I first spoke to Cassie that I had focused on her only as a source of information?

No. There had always been something more; I just pretended not to see it.

Ambushed by my emotions, I now found myself caught up in an unexpected whirlwind of confusion, embarrassment, hope and excitement... Was this _love?_ Is this how it felt when you loved someone? A thousand thoughts and impressions a second, with no time or ability to focus on a single one, because the only thing I could see was her.

Cassie.

Whatever else I knew or wanted, would now – and always – be overshadowed by her. In my own head, this sounded extreme, but at the same time, I knew it was true. The centre of my world had shifted in what felt like a single second and I realised it was too late for me. There was no way back from here.

"Thanks," Cassie's shy sounding voice startled me from the reverie I'd fallen into. My eyes were lured back to her face as she spoke and I saw an embarrassed but happy smile playing about her lips. Something in my chest leapt: hope surged without me understanding why. All I could think was that Cassie didn't appear offended by my admission – even if _I_ was mortified by what those few small words actually meant.

"No problem," I replied weakly, unable to think of something better to say but feeling compelled to respond all the same.

At this point, my brain suddenly kicked into gear and I realised that we were surrounded by a range of things I could have noted as being beautiful to cover my mistake. It was a bright and lovely day – as always – I could have said the day was beautiful, although I had a sneaking suspicion that Cassie would have sensed the lie if I'd said that, given my usual preoccupation with authenticity. But, there was a park across the street, where a rainbow of colourful flowers were in bloom, peeping their heads through the fake iron work railings. They might have covered my stupidity if I'd noticed them a minute ago.

Well, that was great timing. Only a minute too late to be of any use. I was such a bad liar when I was around Cassie, it was laughable.

I grasped for a change of subject, to distract myself from the revelations of the last few seconds. "I've been in the labs all day today, it's nice to get some fresh air. Where've you been this afternoon?"

Cassie didn't appear troubled by my abrupt switch and answered me readily. "Joel and I were in the fracture clinic again, working on some new techniques for setting smaller breaks."

"What does that entail?" I asked, hoping to get her onto a subject that she could talk about without my input for at least a few minutes whilst I gathered my disturbed thoughts. Thankfully, she was able to explain in detail about the new processes and I was easily distracted, whilst not appearing rude by not speaking.

Cassie was in the middle of describing how they had fitted a partial cast on a little girl's wrist when her father appeared. He nodded to himself when he saw us waiting, almost as though he knew that we would both be there. Perhaps others were more aware of my feelings than I had been myself. I shuddered. It was an unnerving sensation for someone like me, who prided myself on being logical and in control, to think that others would see things about me that I was blind to.

Cassie stopped speaking as her father approached us.

"I have some things I want to finish before I leave tonight." He seemed a little distracted, barely looking at Cassie as he spoke. "You two should go on ahead."

When I looked to Cassie for her response, I noticed that she appeared self-conscious now that her father was here. Not understanding why – I was still too preoccupied with my own issues – but not wanting to be impolite, I turned away slightly to give them some privacy.

A moment later I sensed that their conversation was over and Cassie moved to leave. Very helpfully her father had extended an invitation to me to spend the rest of the afternoon with her, something I'd so far not had the nerve to ask for myself. Perhaps parents weren't so bad after all, I mused vaguely, before qualifying that thought. _When they're not lying to your face that is!_

I was about to follow Cassie when her father spoke again, pointing upwards. "You might as well make the most of it, it's a nice day."

My eyes followed his finger, taking in the _sky_ above us. _What a pointless observation?_ There were no seasons on the station; no change to how the light filtered down from the mirrors above us day after day. It was the same, day in day out.

"Isn't it always?" I asked, automatically voicing my thoughts aloud, without pausing to fully edit the sarcasm from my voice. I didn't even stop to think that I'd considered saying something similar myself only a few minutes earlier.

In an attempt to cover over this mistake I smiled at him. It was a little too bright. Cassie saw straight through me. Her father smiled politely in response, but his eyes told me that he'd understood something of the meaning behind my words.

Nothing was said. We all turned away, moving off on our own particular paths: Cassie walked away from The Clinic, her father went back to work, and I trailed close behind her, hoping that I might still get to spend the afternoon with her, despite my almost declaration of love and insulting her father. When I looked at it like that, it had not been the best five minutes of our friendship.

Cassie stalked away from me at speed. The Clinic disappeared behind us as I followed her into the _nice_ afternoon. I overheard her huff in irritation as I caught up, and knew at once that she was angry with me. My only option was to wait for her to vent. It didn't take long.

"Were you being rude then?" Cassie's words were clipped and she stopped abruptly, in the centre of the plaza. Her subdued tone indicated I should be wary.

I stopped too, twisting my body around to face her. My first instinct was to play dumb; after all I'd gotten a lot of practice at that in the past few days working with Olivia. But, I knew there was no way Cassie was going to fall for that. It was better to be honest.

"Why do you ask that?" I tried stalling for time.

"I thought – you looked like you were being sarcastic when Father wished us a nice afternoon." She was still angry, but had to pause when she was thinking how to articulate the reason why she was mad. I hoped it might help her to calm down.

"Can you _look_ sarcastic?" It was nit-picking to notice, but I couldn't help pointing out the muddle in her words. Of course, I was still stalling as well. Cassie's answering scowl indicated that she was not impressed with this tact. I needed a new approach. "OK, look I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be rude. It _is_ a nice day – as it always is on the station, seeing as the light never changes day in day out. That was what I meant."

Cassie was determined to avoid my gaze. I searched for her eyes insistently until reluctantly she looked at me. I tried to let my sincerity show in my face as I half-apologised. "I don't want to argue with you, can't we just walk?"

After a few more seconds, I sensed her anger ebbing away. It seemed she didn't really want to argue with me either. Finally, she nodded once in acceptance of my apology.

As she began walking again – more slowly this time – Cassie allowed me to fall back into step alongside. I sensed that she still felt some frustration with my behaviour and so I gave her space for silent thought as we wandered. More importantly, it gave me the chance to focus on my own concerns: the revelation of my true feelings for Cassie.

What could I do?

Now that I knew how I really felt, was there anything I _could_ do? It didn't feel like it. I knew what I _should_ do: I should turn and walk away from Cassie, right now. But, I wouldn't do that.

Why had I let this happen? My friendship with Cassie was supposed to be about information – nothing more.

Was I allowing my heart to rule my head?

No – my heart wasn't ruling my head. Grim realisation swallowed me: my head was in full agreement with my heart and was even trying to help it with excuses to pursue this unhealthy friendship.

So much for my sensible and logical side!

How had things become so complicated? I was sensibly logical and had one objective: to get out of the Family Quarter and find out the truth of why we were living as we were.

Maybe 'confusing' was the only way this could be? I was only human after all.

Even though I was always striving for the rational answer; searching for reasons and explanations for everything around me. There was no coherent rationale for how I felt about Cassie...but should there be? Love was not supposed to be scientific.

If that was the answer, then it left me with a new problem. How could I reconcile these two opposing desires in my life?

Ever since I'd realised that there was something _amiss_ with life on the space station, I'd vowed to myself that I would find out what that was. I was so close now to actually carrying out that promise. Could I let go of the obsession that had changed my life?

The strange incident with Scarlett had haunted my childhood, and driven me away from others ever since. As I had watched from the shadows since then, I became convinced that everyone else was complicit in whatever was being hidden from us. Even if it was only through blind acceptance – they were still allowing this system to work.

I hated that we were being lied to.

I hated that we were being watched and tracked during our daily lives.

What purpose could any of this possibly have, and why did it seem like I was the only person who even noticed what was happening?

To add to all these issues, I now had a new dilemma. I peeked sideways at Cassie. She was still there...still beautiful...still intriguing... Why did _she_ bother with me?

It hurt to ask the question because undoubtedly I was in love with her. I knew why I was here right now, but why was _she_ here? She was more patient with me than I should expect – certainly more than I deserved – and seemed genuinely interested in my odd observations and negative attitude towards the station: why would _anyone_ in our society be like that?

Maybe Cassie was part of the lie too.

Just thinking this brought a sickening lump into my throat. I swallowed thickly, forcing it away as I turned over the idea in my mind. It seemed excessive, that whoever was responsible for controlling the lies we lived within, would actually involve someone like Cassie to distract or monitor me; even if they were aware of what I was planning – which I was confident they did not.

But then, what did I know really?

I'd seen a girl come back to life nine years ago, only to disappear right before my eyes – I had discovered hidden circuits inside viewing screens, that triggered specifically to record our private movements and conversations – I'd found pieces of metal and other unknown substances in Father's study that he should not have access to, if he only worked inside the Family Quarter.

OK. So, I knew lots of things – it was just that every truth I discovered led to more questions.

Looking at it this way, the only thing I _really_ knew was that anything was possible. And so, back to Cassie: was she part of the deception, just a friend, or something else...? It was time to find out.

"Have you ever been to Park 42?" I blurted out the question, as a plan hastily formed in my mind.

"Remind me which one that is?" Her eyes scrunched in concentration as she tried to work out where I meant.

Under normal circumstances I might have found that distractingly cute. Not today. Today there would be no more distractions. I wanted – no, needed – answers.

"It's the park with the post-glacial landscape over by the boundary to the Married Quarter," I replied. Adding silently: _"It's big, usually empty and will give us the perfect place for us to talk in private (just in case you think I'm a raving lunatic)."_ With no viewing screens close enough to pick up our conversation, I knew I could deny everything if Cassie told someone. There would be no evidence and I could either discount Cassie as a threat or distance myself from her – if I had to.

"Oh right," she remembered, smiling slightly at some unknown thought. "Are you feeling adventurous this afternoon?"

Her question took me by surprise. I wasn't sure why she would think – or ask – that, there was no obvious link I could see. Maybe she meant something else? My mind coloured the tone of her words in a new way.

"Why, are you?" I infused my words with enough mischief to indicate something else...perhaps.

It had some effect at least. A pale pink blush rose immediately on Cassie's cheeks. I saw it for only a second before she turned away to look across the square, in an attempt to disguise her embarrassment. My heart soared uncontrollably as I interpreted her reaction positively, then I noticed a frown creasing her brow and my flight stuttered.

"So are you?" I repeated, sounding nervous.

So much for my plan of exposing her true motivation for our friendship!

The realisation of how desperate I sounded irritated me, but I couldn't help it. A part of me needed to know what she was thinking.

Cassie shook her head, as though scattering unwanted thoughts from her mind.

"I only meant that I had heard the walks in that park are quite demanding," she said.

"I'm sure you'll be able to keep up with me."

"Don't worry about me," she replied, her tone coolly confident. "I'll do my best."

"Great!" I was pleased by her sudden conviction and began leading the way across the square towards the Red Residential Zone. My fingers twitched minutely, wanting to reach out and take hold of Cassie's hand as I guided her away, but I could not do that.

We strolled through the peaceful residential streets in an amiable silence. In my head I was busily finalising my plans for working out what Cassie's role in my life was, and it was only when I had settled on a strategy that I became conscious of her quiet thoughtfulness.

"You do that a lot you know?" I remarked, turning to look at her more fully. She glanced up, an apologetic smile instantly on her face. I expected her to say something, but after another few seconds it seemed she was losing herself in thought once more. "You're doing it again!" I laughed, pointing out the obvious.

"Doing what?" Cassie asked in mock-confusion. She knew exactly what I meant.

"Floating off into your own little world. You keep making me wonder where you go."

"Sorry – I don't mean to be rude – does it bother you?" Her expression was contrite and she seemed worried that she might have offended me.

"It's not rude," I reassured her. "I'm just interested to see where your thoughts take you."

For a moment it seemed she was going to blush, which ignited my curiosity immeasurably at what might have been occupying her thoughts. Then her face cleared, and when she spoke I was surprised by her answer.

"I was thinking about a friend of Ami's who just eloped." Her tone was dismissive and I waited for the flippant shrug of the shoulders that would normally accompany such a statement. It would confirm that there was a more significant point behind her words. There was no shrug, but I still felt sure that there was something more.

"Oh?" I prompted, barely uttering the question, hoping to draw out more without distracting her.

It worked. Cassie paused for a few seconds, her eyes focused in concentration, before she began telling me about Ami and her reaction to a friend's elopement a few weeks earlier. I felt halfway normal, like Cassie might actually view me as a friend, as I listened to the story and her observations. Unfortunately, her words reminded me of my own problems with the Married Quarter and people _eloping_.

* * *

It didn't take us long to reach Park 42 and I was pleased when Cassie appeared impressed by the wild landscape we were walking into. It was such a welcome contrast to the bland residential streets we left behind us. If she liked this, she would love the surprise I was planning for her, I was sure.

A little voice in the back of my mind was nagging at me. _Walking deep into the park might not be the best way to get the answers you want from Cassie_ ...

Right now Cassie was turning slowly on the spot taking in her surroundings. I watched as she twirled, her figure alternately brightening, then dimming in the dappled light that drifted between leaves of the overhanging trees. I really did not care about my plan, right then. The voice fell silent.

"I think it's beautiful because it's uncontrolled," I said, as we walked close together beneath the green canopy.

The sense of Cassie's body so close to mine made my arm tingle and I struggled to keep my voice neutral, understanding now why Cassie made me feel this way. In silence we walked deeper into the park.

It was only as we began to make our way across the open land that I looked down at Cassie's feet and noticed her flimsy shoes. The grass we were trudging through was thick and tufted in yellow clumps – I knew the terrain was going to get worse before it got better. "Are you sure you're going to be OK walking?" I pointed to her shoes.

"I should be fine," she dismissed me easily, after glancing at my own shoes, which admittedly weren't much different to hers. "As long as there's no mud or major rock climbing to contend with, I'm OK," she added.

"Good," I nodded, "let's go!"

I paced away towards the hills rising from the ground nearby and sensed Cassie keeping close behind me. After a short while – hearing her breathing becoming more rapid – I realised that she was trotting to maintain this speed. My walking speed hadn't even registered with me until I realised Cassie was struggling...I felt perfect, normal...but I was _better_ than normal now, wasn't I?

For the first time, I really considered the physical improvement I'd seen from the gene therapy: I felt better than good. This realisation of my improved fitness didn't help Cassie, though. Without being obvious I slowed down a little and took smaller steps so that she could walk comfortably alongside me. We maintained an easy silence as we went now, and I let Cassie spend the time absorbing the beauty of our surroundings, as I focused on analysing the physical improvements in my body.

Once the vegetation became thicker I slowed to pick my way more carefully between the trees and high-growing shrubs, ensuing that there were no loose roots or branches to trouble Cassie as she followed behind. I felt as though I could have sprinted up the hill today, everything felt like a challenge to test my new strength and improved fitness...but I didn't. We walked in single-file now and I glanced behind frequently to check that Cassie was OK. Every time I looked she was fine and I realised that it was just an excuse for me to look at her. I shook my head recognising my own stupidity: I really was a lost cause.

"Do you come here a lot?" Cassie asked me a while later, as I paused to pull aside a small branch blocking the path and held it away from her as she passed by.

"Sometimes," I replied, shrugging to downplay the white lie I'd told.

_My second home_ was the only place I would normally allow myself freedom to think and feel what I wanted, but that was before I'd met Cassie. I found I was a different person around her. Someone I actually _liked_ being.

"It's nice and quiet here – I don't think it's very popular – so it suits _me_ well," I added jokily, smiling as she met my gaze. Sometimes Cassie had a particular way of looking at me that really made me feel as though she _knew_ me. She was looking at me like that right now, until her eyes sparkled mischievously and that magnetic intensity faded.

"I don't know about that," she countered lightly, responding to my teasing tone. "You seem to have plenty to say whenever I've seen you."

Cassie was obviously kidding, but it was interesting to know that she had noticed the difference in my behaviour. Perhaps this was a good opportunity for testing what she actually thought of that?

"Have you not considered that it is simply the effect _you_ have on me?" My jesting only half-masked the serious implication behind my words.

Cassie blushed, self-consciously dropping her head and attempting to disguise her reaction by carefully examining her shoes. Her response _seemed_ natural enough and I turned away, not wanting her to fall flat on her face, just because she was avoiding making eye contact with me. I had only taken a few steps when she replied.

"I'm sure _that's_ the case." Cassie's words were heavily sarcastic – overly so, in fact. I might have bought her attempt to sound dismissive if her voice hadn't been trembling with suppressed emotion when she spoke. There was obviously some feeling beneath her exaggerated words: but was it fear of being caught in a lie or because she felt something for me? I just couldn't tell and that irritated me more than anything.

"Truer than you think," I muttered in frustration, low enough that she wouldn't hear.

"Where are we heading to?"

My feet froze in place. "Why? Are you tired already?" Was she just trying to change the subject or scared of how far we were going from civilisation?

Cassie hadn't answered and I was turning to check she was OK when she banged into my back. "Oof – sorry," she apologised staggering backwards.

Instinctively my hands flew out, grabbing her loosely around the shoulders to stop her falling as she lost her balance. It took a second or two for her feet to find traction on the path and as she straightened up – drawing closer to me – I felt a familiar expansion inside my chest, as though I was filling my lungs with huge amounts of air, even when I knew I wasn't breathing.

_Love..?_ I wondered distantly, through the familiar fog that appeared and confused my mind whenever she came close to me. Too close.

Cassie was only inches away now, almost embraced in my arms but not quite. I was utterly powerless, holding on longer than I needed to; wanting to pull her closer still. It was only when I felt her cool breath on my face and closed my eyes that the spell was broken and I was able to free her. It was certainly a reluctant gesture.

"So _are_ you tired?" I repeated, opening my eyes once more and searching her face for an answer. I hoped desperately – even though I knew I shouldn't – that we would not have to turn back now.

"No, I'm not tired. I just wondered where you're taking me?"

"Are you scared to be alone with me?" I taunted, deliberately not answering her question.

Her face brightened as she teased me back. "Why should I be nervous?"

"Well, there's always the possibility that I might not take you back..."

"I'm sure I'd find my own way if necessary," she said, dismissing my threat with a joke. "The space station is big, but it's not _that_ big!"

"I'm sure you would," I conceded, dipping my head towards the ground in a deferential bow. "That still doesn't mean I would let you leave, though."

"You didn't answer my question you know?"

"I know," I replied, smiling to myself, as I walked away.

"So...?" She prompted a few moments later, drawing the word longer than necessary, showing a touch of irritation with my childish behaviour.

I couldn't help myself: something inside me was intent on frustrating her.

"So...." I repeated, imitating her drawling tone as well as I could, whilst resisting the urge to turn around to look at her. "I'm taking you somewhere I like to go when I need some freedom. I think you'll like it."

It was best to keep my answer simple, so I left it at that and we continued upwards. Our silent ascent was only interrupted now by the hammering that came from my chest, each time I paused to remove a branch from her path. When Cassie's eyes met mine, the crackle of energy I felt pass between us would burn into me. Once again, even though I knew it shouldn't, it gave me hope for something I shouldn't be hoping for.

"Here we are," I announced as we broke through the final scrubby bushes at the end of the trail. Immediately I was greeted by the familiar, but always startling, view of the park stretching out from beneath my feet.

Not wanting to ruin the surprise for Cassie's first visit here I turned back towards her and eagerly held out my hand, so that I could pull her the last few steps into the best possible position to appreciate the view as soon as she made the crest of the hill. She smiled easily as her fingers closed around mine, her skin smooth and warm beneath my light grip. With a small heave Cassie stood beside me on the small rocky outcrop that we'd climbed to. I watched with satisfaction as she focused on the scene before us and almost forgot to let go of her hand. Almost.

"Oh...my...wow!" She stammered incoherently. "I mean...just...WOW!"

Moving away from her I went to lean against one of the larger trees that shaded the top of the hillside and hid it from the sheer rock face that rose behind us. The thick branches, covered in a warm brown bark were overshadowed by thousands of small, pale green leaves and softened the harsh appearance of the stark, grey rock above.

I chuckled to myself as I saw her spinning chaotically on the spot: it was pretty much the same way I'd behaved the day Scarlett and I had found the path. There was so much to see and it was such an unfamiliar perspective to view the Family Quarter from. On your first time it felt as though you didn't have enough eyes to take in all the information you wanted to. And as far as I knew, she was only the third person to see this.

"What do you think?"

Cassie's head flicked rapidly from side to side before she appeared to consciously slow her movements and began pausing to take one long, searching glance after another.

There was no answer.

Linking my arms loosely in front of me I left her undisturbed and whilst she was distracted I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of simply watching her. Her chest swelled gently as she breathed and I found myself staring at the narrow band of bare skin Cassie's day-suit exposed: the small indentation at the base of her throat, then lower. Catching myself, I forced my gaze higher – just in case she saw me. Cassie looked almost severe when she was concentrating and she was certainly focused on the view right now. Her lips moved minutely, as if she were voicing questions and answering them, without ever speaking aloud. A small strand of hair had caught against her lips, but she seemed blissfully unaware of it. I wished I could lean across and brush it away from her face. But I didn't, of course.

"I take it you like it then?" I laughed, repeating my earlier question.

At last Cassie's gaze flickered towards me – accompanied by a self-conscious smile – before she turned back to the view, but still there was no reply. I grinned now: speechless was as good an answer as any.

Relief washed over me that Cassie didn't seem to be discouraged by the fact I obviously spent a lot of time in such a remote place, nor was she suspicious as to how I'd found it in the first place, which I felt some of our peers – and certainly our parents – would be. The more time I spent with her just made me think that she _was_ different to the others – different from me still, but that wasn't a bad thing. An echo of an earlier realisation swept over me: I liked the person I became when I was with her.

"I can't believe that something like this exists in the station," Cassie murmured, finally breaking her silence.

"I know." The awe in her voice gave me the most satisfaction, I think I could have felt, at sharing this with her.

She was moving around now, stepping closer towards the lip of the rock ledge to look out further across the wide vista. Pushing away from the tree and unfolding my arms I followed her, allowing myself to move closer than I would normally when we were together, surrounded by others. Her hip brushed against my leg as I moved in and I found myself imagining all sorts of things, before I was reminded of the _real_ reason we were here: finding out if Cassie was my friend, or a threat.

"You can't see this place from the residential zones, because the rock is so similar to the grey external walls at the edges of the station," I told her, "it was only when I was hiking out this way one day that I came across it."

"Wow." Cassie smiled to herself and started turning on the spot again, gazing out at the station spreading away beneath us from every possible angle.

Watching her, an unfamiliar sense of calm spread through me and I stood beside her feeling more peaceful than I had in a long time. At length I sank down to the ground, settling into an easy sitting position, to leave Cassie undisturbed for a while longer. As I relaxed in the comfortable silence I allowed my own thoughts to return to their earlier preoccupation: what was Cassie to me, and what was _I_ to her?

It turned out that waiting was only making me feel bolder and in the end – unable to hold off any longer – I reached up for her hand, hanging loosely at her side and gripping her fingers lightly in my own tugged her gently, insisting that she sit beside me. Cassie moved willingly as I guided her and once she was seated on the short, tufted grass I released her hand. She shuffled around for a few moments, drawing her legs up to her chest and leaning forwards to rest her chin lightly on her knees as she relaxed.

From the corner of my eye I watched her. The dark strands of her hair were pulled loosely away from her face, allowing me to see her keen, green eyes as she gazed into the distance beyond us. She seemed quite content as we sat there. Content and beautiful I observed, sighing silently beneath my breath. I wasn't about to articulate _that_ thought again!

"There's so much to see," she whispered softly, "it's hard to take it all in."

"I've been here lots of times and I still find something new each time I come."

Perhaps sharing some of my own observations would help her put the images into context, I thought, and so leaning forwards I began pointing out some of the main areas she might be interested in. Three tall buildings stood out to me straight away. "That's the main hub at the centre of the Black, Green and Blue residential zones," I pointed them out.

That's The Clinic?"

She sounded a little more shocked than I'd expected, but I wasn't too sure what part _exactly_ she was surprised about and so I simply nodded and pressed on with the "tour".

"We came around the inside edge of the Agricultural Sector in the middle of the station..." I gestured towards the far right side of the towers, where the large domes of the Agricultural Sector curved like giant bubbles. "...And skirted through the boundary of the Red Zone to get to the Park entrance." I traced the arc that we had walked, drawing Cassie's gaze past me and finishing at the park entrance, behind us to the right.

"It's so strange looking across the whole of the space station from here," she observed, as she redirected her eyes back towards the distant Green Zone.

"You can't see the _whole_ station," I corrected, more sharply than I intended, unable to stop myself from bristling at her words.

Taking a breath, I reminded myself that Cassie hadn't spent most of her life obsessing over the minutia details of life on the station. She might not have, but _I_ had – perhaps it was time to start my little investigation... it was the reason we were here, wasn't it?

The thought encouraged me and I tried again – more appropriately this time – to help Cassie understand what we were looking at by pointing towards one of the areas I found most troublesome about the station.

"It's hard to see because of the colours, but that's the Married Quarter over to the right beyond the edge of the food domes. On the left is the Retirement Quarter, at the other side of the Engineering Sector." Once more I traced the outline of the features I was trying to show her with my hand.

Cassie squinted in the direction I indicated, but showed no sign of recognition.

"Can you see?" I leaned in more closely to check whether the line I was pointing out aligned with her perspective. "There's a slightly darker grey wall that reaches fully to the top of the arched ceiling..." My words trailed off as I waited for an answer.

"Erm," she hesitated as I watched her eyes moving across the area I'd shown her. "No," she finally acknowledged, sounding frustrated.

To be fair the boundary wasn't _that_ obvious: I'd been here countless times before I even began to understand the wider layout of the station beyond the Family Quarter. I could make this easier for her.

"Here," I took hold of Cassie's hand, pleased to have an excuse to do so even when I knew I should be focusing on my _investigation_. She allowed me to curl her fingers smoothly into a fist until only her index finger was pointing out, then I drew her arm outward and leaned my head against her shoulder to trace the correct line of sight. Investigating is fun, I smirked, keeping hold of her hand and guiding it along the distant boundary line.

"Just above the domes, you can see it's a little darker..." I spoke slowly, half through concentration, half to conceal the thrill I felt at being close to her.

Cassie seemed to barely breathe as I moved her arm around and I wondered if this was because my behaviour was making her uncomfortable. Just as this thought was penetrating my mind she exclaimed "oh yes," loudly in my ear and made me jump. She'd obviously seen the Married Quarter. The thick atmosphere that had been growing between us disappeared with her words, and although Cassie didn't seem uncomfortable now, I dropped her hand and pulled my head away from her.

"It blocks the whole area," she noted, sounding confused. "I didn't think it would be that big."

"It _is_ big," I agreed, distracted once more by the confusing mixture of emotions and thoughts I found myself filling up with. I was only half listening as Cassie continued speaking, until I realised what she was saying.

"I don't suppose I'd really given it that much thought... But, I suppose given the number of people in the station in the Family Quarter and everything, there must be – what –a few hundred couples in there at any one time? I wonder if it's a similar layout to this Quarter..."

My back went rigid as I realised that, without meaning to, Cassie had stumbled onto one of my most problematic observations about the Married Quarter. Her words trailed to an end as I pulled away from her, staring at the grey walls in the distance.

"What's wrong?"

I could feel her eyes on my face, but could not look at her. "Nothing," I murmured. My own thoughts and irritations blurring in my mind. Cassie's simple – if unrealistic – comments about the size of the Married Quarter had made me angry. Not with her, but with the hidden system we lived within. I hated living in a world built upon lies.

That was not Cassie's fault though, was it? I had brought her here to test our _friendship_ hadn't I? I wanted to see how she would react to the _real_ me. So, why wait any longer... If she had information that would be useful to me, now was the time to find out. I took a deep, steadying breath.

"I tried to do the calculations, you know?" I began slowly, unsure if this was the right way to start. "I did them to try and work out how many people might be in the Married Quarter..."

How could I say this without sounding like a madman?

"And...?" Cassie prompted, when my words faltered.

"I couldn't get the figures to make sense."

"What did they show?"

The answer had been trapped inside me for so long. With no one to trust or talk to about this, I'd held it close as one of the many lies we were being told. Now Cassie was sat here, _asking_ me to tell her. It's what I wanted – and it would test our friendship – so the truth began pouring out.

"It was simple really...when I realised it, I couldn't work out how I hadn't seen it before. It's so obvious!" I knew I sounded angry and so I sucked in a deep breath in the hope of calming my voice. Maybe it would be better if I got Cassie to work it out, instead of simply telling her. "You know the population of the station remains pretty much constant because of the one-child policy?"

Cassie nodded, yes.

"How can that possibly work?" I watched as she considered my question.

"I don't know what you mean," Cassie replied eventually, shaking her head.

"What I mean is: how can the population levels remain static if every two people here can only have one child?" I explained with another question, trying to make my thought process clear. Cassie's eyes held mind as I saw her playing through the logic behind my statement.

"How can that be right?" Her words were more exclamation than question and I knew she understood what I did. She pressed on, answering her own query as she spoke. "If for every two people who leave here for the Married Quarter, only one replaces them when they returned to the Family Quarter, the population would be decreasing over time, wouldn't it?"

Her bright eyes widened with the shock of realisation. It was basic mathematics – although no one else ever seemed to notice the anomaly that the population remained the same, even though there should only be half the number of people returning as left.

"It isn't right," I said. "If it _is_ true that the population has to remain static due to _resource limitations_ , and the one-child policy is enforced, then the system as I understand it does not add up. It's not logical."

Logic.

No matter how many times I looked at it, I could not make sense of our unchanging system, that had at it's heart, the principle that two become one. _Hell, no one even seemed to notice the eerie symmetry of our classes at school!_ Every year group was matched evenly, five boys and five girls. Year after year – the pattern repeated across the Family Quarter. That was no coincidence, and if it was a necessity for survival, then why wasn't it explained to us, as part of our future on the space station?

I had been hiding this for so long, even speaking about it now was difficult. Hatred seeped into words I shared.

"There must be some explanation..." Cassie said.

"Such as?" I spat back, blocking Cassie's half-formed question.

I knew I was being belligerent, but for some reason I couldn't stop myself. She was just trying to rationalise what she'd learned, but I didn't want to hear it. I had looked at this issue from every angle possible. There was no explanation that fitted with the world of the space station as we were expected to believe it worked.

Maybe I was angry because Cassie was supposed to have the answers. Wasn't she the one that Scarlett had been so focused on: before she _died_ , and again just as she disappeared into the Married Quarter?

Why had Scarlett been so determined that Cassie had answers?

I shook my head, realising that I'd changed my life over a couple of strange events. Scarlett had put me on a path to Cassie for answers, when I hadn't even got questions. She had sent me searching for them, hadn't she?

None of this was Cassie's responsibility, but I admired the fact that she didn't back down, even though I had cut her off, sounding like an arrogant fool. She began firing her own questions and suggestions back at me, continuing even when I tossed them aside.

"Maybe there are more a lot more people already in the Married Quarter waiting to have children and so it balances out?"

"If that were the case, there would still only be a decreasing population," I dismissed.

"Unless there were more people in there to start with...?"

"But where would they have come from?" I countered. We're fifth generation descendents now – surely any _spares_ would have been worked out of the system by now.

"Maybe it hasn't always been a one-child policy?"

There was possibility behind this suggestion. "Perhaps," I allowed, with a shrug. "If that's the case we must be close to hitting a point where they would allow more than one child in order to maintain the population."

"Perhaps," Cassie echoed my words now. And I caught a flash of anger in the set of her mouth as she fired back her own question: "you don't know that The Council won't do that though, do you?"

Cassie was no pushover. I tilted my head in a small nod, admiring the speed with which she'd taken onboard my suggestion and come back at me with answers. With her school friends I'd only ever seen Cassie try to fit in: not saying anything contentious. She always seemed to be trying to hide her obvious intelligence. I didn't know why, but I think I liked the fact that I'd made her a little angry, made her tell _me_ the truth.

I offered a final observation in response to Cassie's open-ended question. "They'd have to provide some new facilities at The Clinic, as they don't cater for maternity care at the moment, or hadn't you noticed?" It definitely made her angry.

"Is that why you brought me here?" Her green eyes focused fiercely on mine.

I looked away. No. This wasn't what I wanted and I knew it.

Cassie's answers intrigued me, definitely. The fact that some of the strangest things that had happened to me, might be connected to her, meant that I couldn't stay away. But, the reason we were here – beyond all my other interests and pretences – was because I was falling in love with her. And now I was ruining whatever chance I had of making Cassie like me.

"I'm sorry, you're right. You don't want to hear the crazy things I think about." My attempt at smile disintegrated into a pained grimace and so I let it fall away. I didn't want to come off being angry AND creepy, although it was probably already too late for that.

"That's not entirely true, it just felt like you wanted more of an argument with someone than to talk. I actually _do_ like the strange things you come out with, crazy as you sometimes seem – you ask me stuff that makes me think."

My eyes found hers again. She was echoing exactly what I'd been thinking only a few moments earlier: Cassie was different when we were together. And it sounded as though she liked _different_.

"Ask me something else!"

She was grinning now. I knew she was teasing me a little, but I couldn't help but be tempted. I spent so much of my time trying to work out what was going on in her head that an open invitation was very appealing.

"Please?" she coaxed.

"OK, you win!" I gave in to her mock-grovelling. "Another question...but nothing too hard. I don't think you're up to it to be honest."

"True. I think the placement is taking up whatever brain space I had left."

"Ah yes, the placement..." It was a good subject choice for a diversion and maybe learning something new. "How're you finding that now?"

"Better, although, I think I'll still get sent to engineering next – I'm not a natural Medic, but can handle the research stuff without too much difficulty. What about you?"

"Its fine – but I like science, so it's a good match for me."

"You're great at astro-engineering too. They'll probably want you there as well after you've done a placement with them." Cassie observed.

"Perhaps." I had no intention of staying where they put me and hoped to be out before then, anyway. "You'll be doing the engineering placement too," I reminded her. "You might have a choice as well."

Cassie scoffed at my suggestion. "I'm sure they'll have better placement candidates than me – I wouldn't make a good engineer!"

Maybe she had other reasons now for wanting to get placed as a Medic instead of trying the Engineering rotation?

The more time we spent together, the more I became confident that she liked me and – whatever our relationship was – seemed different to her friendships at school. Or was that wishful thinking on my part? Cassie certainly got on well with Joel and I had no doubt that he liked her. Was their friendship any different to whatever it was that Cassie and I had?

"I just hope I get placed at The Clinic and don't end up being pushed around the space station trying to find _anything_ that suits me."

I was so busy turning over my own thoughts that I almost missed what she said, but not quite. It sounded as though she actually believed she would struggle to find a role for herself on the station. How could she not see that she was smart enough to fit in wherever she wanted to?

Smart isn't everything, is it?

The little voice inside me niggled. It was right: I was smart enough to fit in to most roles on the space station, but that didn't mean I could. I was too _different_ , wasn't I?

I stared at Cassie, without meaning to. Wondering whether she was more like me than I imagined: she didn't know how exactly to fit in. "You'll get placed at The Clinic, if that's what you want," I told her, hoping to give her some of the assurance that I couldn't offer to myself. "Father said you were a natural dealing with the children in the fractures ward; they really took to you."

Cassie's cheeks blossomed pinky-red: embarrassed by the compliment. I couldn't help but laugh; she was such an odd combination of soft and tough I didn't quite know how she would react to anything. "You're quite modest aren't you? It's surprising really, as from a distance I would have expected you to be... _different_."

"Different?" she repeated, her tone abruptly suspicious. "Different how...?"

"It doesn't matter," I waved away the question, sensing that if I answered it could be problematic for both of us. It was odd though, how particularly she reacted to that one word: _different_. What was so bad about being different?

I cast around for a change of subject. "How are you getting along with your partner?"

"Joel?" Cassie appeared surprised.

I nodded.

"Fine, he's good company," she shrugged, dismissing her own words as she so often did. "He's just like the guys from school really."

What did her shrug mean?

Was Joel just one of her friends, like the others at school – or was she dismissing something more serious behind her simple answer? And why were so many questions hammering my head over a simple four-word sentence?

Because you're crazy?

Probably.

_He's like the guys from school..._ "You mean like Matthew and Callum? Do you see them much now that we're all on placement?"

"Erm...not really."

Cassie was frowning at me, perhaps wondering where the questions were leading. "I saw Patrick and Ami a few days ago. I've not actually seen many people from school. They all seem busy with their own placements. Have you seen anyone?"

I ignored the question directed at me. Cassie knew well enough that I would have no reason for seeing anyone from school. "So, you've mainly been spending time with Joel then?" I asked.

"I think I've seen _you_ more in the past week than anyone from school or from our placement."

She was definitely cross with me – perhaps for ignoring her question – but I couldn't help smiling at her actual words. She'd been with me more than anyone else. I felt the familiar surge inside my rib cage and so I didn't mind that she still sounded mad when she carried on speaking.

"You know that you don't get a huge amount of time to talk during the placements once you're working. Joel and I don't get chance to have that much to do with each other."

_If – just once – Olivia put working before talking, it would be a peaceful day for me!_ "Oh, I don't know, Olivia certainly manages to talk a lot," I smiled, but shook my head at the same time.

"I had noticed," Cassie smiled back. "Olivia does seem to like talking to _you_ particularly, though."

Was there an edge to her words? I wasn't sure. But, it was a big leap from wondering if Cassie liked me, to thinking she was jealous of Olivia.

_Get over yourself! You're not that special._ I looked away from her joking smile now, uncomfortable as a warm burn rose on my own cheeks.

I might not be special, but for a while now I had been trying to ignore the idea that perhaps Olivia was interested in me in a particular way. If Cassie had noticed it too, then perhaps it was true.

"You can't tell me that you hadn't noticed that?"

Cassie's question echoed my own thoughts, making me feel guiltier than ever. I really disliked Olivia, which made me feel awful if she _did_ like me.

"I...well..." I had nothing to offer – too consumed with imagining how painful it would be for me if I was in Olivia's position...if the girl I thought I loved, disliked pretty much everything about me.

One moment we were sitting next to each other, whilst I stewed over what an awful person I was, the next Cassie was on her feet, jumping away from me. "It doesn't matter – I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that – you don't have to answer."

I stayed where I was, trying to work out what had happened in the last few seconds to make Cassie jump around like a scared rabbit. Surely, she couldn't know how much I disliked Olivia? I kept it well hidden, on the whole.

The silence stretched between us, until I realised that there was only one thing I could do. Olivia didn't matter; she wasn't here. But _we_ were, and if I wanted to find out where I stood with Cassie, there was only one way I could think of to find out.

Quietly, I got to my feet. Cassie made no movement to indicate she had heard me: she remained frozen in place, staring out at the Family Quarter spread beneath us, her back to me. With silent steps I moved towards her, feeling nervous and bold in equal measure.

"I don't really want to talk about it," I whispered into her ear, moving in close behind. As nerves took hold I drew in a deep, ragged breath to steady my thumping heartbeat. I thought I felt Cassie shiver beside me – as if she was nervous too – but perhaps I imagined it. "I don't like Olivia in the way I sometimes think that she likes me." I wanted Cassie to hear more in my confession than I could actually say out loud. "I thought that perhaps you might have figured that out..."

"Figured out what?" Cassie whispered back.

Her words gave me the push I needed. My hands reached forwards, finding the softness of her wrists before sliding upwards to take hold of her arms. I felt static prickling my palms where my skin touched hers, as though the nerves coursing through my body had become electric. Beneath my hands, I felt Cassie tremble, but she didn't pull away from me.

"I know, you know," I murmured into her neck, allowing my lips the freedom to caress her ear lobe, as I spoke. A lovely light citrus fragrance lingered in the dark strands of Cassie's hair and I laughed softly to myself, recognising but not caring about my failure to maintain any kind of distance or control around this young woman. I was so easily distracted by Cassie, if I didn't focus on what I was doing, I imagined I could find myself getting lost in the smallest features of her body... "Are you going to make me _say_ it?" I whispered finally, unable to disguise the smile in my voice.

Cassie nodded, nothing more. Something inside me just _knew_ that she wanted me to say this: wanted me to confess how I felt about her. There were no illusions, no distractions or questions in that moment: just us. I leaned closer – to kiss her – and found myself laughing again. I had never felt this happy – or free – in my existence...

Then everything changed.

In the instant I sensed that Cassie wanted the same thing as me, I felt something else. Something very wrong.

There was the smallest movement in the ground beneath me: so tiny that I almost missed it. Then a moment later a second, much bigger shift, nearly knocked me to the floor and I found my body automatically reacting before I could consciously evaluate what was going on. I levered myself backwards, away from the edge of the plateau and tried to pull Cassie closer to me, but it was too late.

A loud _crack_ exploded through the tense silence that had built up around us and instead of pulling Cassie's body towards mine as I'd been intending to, I found her being jerked away. Cassie's left arm had already slipped from my loose grip and I sensed, rather than saw, that there was nothing beneath her feet where the rock ledge had been a moment earlier.

It felt as though every muscle in my body tensed in that one instant. As Cassie fell away from me, my grip became a vice on her right arm.

This can't be happening again!

My mind was screaming as I watched Cassie twist in the air beneath me, turning around to look upwards as she dropped. In her eyes I saw the same shock I'd seen in Scarlett's.

"NO!" I cried, throwing myself forward. _This would not happen again!_

My left hand joined the right one and locked around Cassie's arm. For one instant there was nothing, then the pull of her full weight knocked me off my feet and I crashed painfully into the remnants of the rock shelf. She jerked to a stop beneath me, a terrible cry screeching out of her chest, the sound infused with agony.

Every muscle in my upper body screamed at me to let go: I couldn't hold that much weight.

_I'm not letting go!_ I screamed right back.

My shoulders bunched forwards as my elbows scraped agonisingly across the ragged ground. _I'm not letting go_ , I told myself again and held on tighter, using my own pain to help me focus on my muscles and work them harder.

Blinking away the tears and sweat that were blurring my vision, I looked down at Cassie. The arm I held on to was completely wrong: twisting at the shoulder unnaturally as though it were a loose thread not flesh and bone. Beneath her there was nothing, except air. Then forty metres below that, the rocky base of the hillside, filled with more broken stone resin.

"CASSIE!" I shouted out, trying to catch her attention as her head lolled dangerously to the side. If she blacked out now she would die.

"Cassie!" I yelled again and she opened her eyes. "I've got you!"

In those few seconds, I felt her begin to slide again: my hands were too close together and I needed to get a better grip. A shadow of doubt crossed Cassie's face as she sensed the movement. That wasn't good: I needed her to trust me... Squeezing more tightly with my left hand – trying not to imagine what further damage I might be doing to her body in the process – I managed to replace my right hand around Cassie's wrist. My muscles protested, but I had her more securely at least.

"Cassie?!" I shouted again. It was obvious her attention was drifting, but this time she looked up to me. For the first time I saw her face properly: her pale skin was ashen, small grazes gleamed pinky-red on her cheeks, perhaps where stray stone fragments had hit her as she fell, or where she'd hit the rock face beneath. A fog of pain and fear blurred her normally bright eyes, but I could still read the questions there: they burned into me.

"I'm going to get you out of this Cassie," I promised. It was the truth, because I would save her or die trying and I knew it. Dragging a deep breath into my tight lungs I gripped harder than ever, preparing to move.

Barely able to speak through my clenched teeth, I managed to utter: "once I get you higher, you can grab onto the ledge with your good arm."

Cassie nodded: a single, small movement.

It was enough for me and I pulled as hard as I could, trying lever myself backwards using the flat rock beneath me to drag her higher.

On the first attempt Cassie barely moved. My arms scraped across the rock edge, ripping the material of my day-suit even more and tearing into my flesh. Ignoring the new burst of pain, I pushed myself onto my knees and found that this position gave me greater purchase and allowed my leg muscles to help me lift so it wasn't all in my arms. Digging in, I heaved even harder. This time Cassie rose several centimetres higher.

From then on my eyes never left Cassie's face: I watched her fighting to remain conscious; holding back the screams that I could only imagine were threatening to burst out of her body. As her fingers passed above the edge of the rock for the first time, she reached upwards with her left arm and found a handhold on the rock lip. Her knuckles turned blue-white as her fingers gripped, claw-like around the edge of the plateau.

Once again Cassie's eyes found mine and I nodded to let her know I was ready. It would take both of us to do this now. Sucking in a deep breath I tugged firmly on her arm. At the same time she pulled hard against the rock, her left hand levering her body upwards. With Cassie helping me, my actions became much more effective and she shot forwards, her scream of determination blending with my own exhausted grunt. As her shoulders and upper body re-appeared I took hold of her left arm and pulled her nearer, getting a grip on the back of her day-suit. With one last tug, I stood up, hauling Cassie's legs to safety as I went. A second later I staggered to the side and dropped to my knees.

### Chapter 8

Cassie's small body lay motionless beside me. If it were not for the low, shallow breaths dragging into her chest every now and then I would have thought she was dead. She was unconscious.

A single trickle of blood seeped from a wound buried in her hairline and ran across her temple onto her cheek. Her arms were worse: the normally pale skin now looked a sickly green-white beneath the large smears of blood. Amongst the red were darker, black patches where she had been torn by deep scratches and cuts.

I felt numb and sick and helpless. A random part of me also felt grateful, for the physical enhancements I made a few weeks ago. Without them I wouldn't have caught Cassie, or been able to pull her to safety. Without the benefit of pain suppression, I might have dropped her... Perhaps, I also reacted faster than I would have done before...? There were many questions, but no clear answers. They would have to wait.

A short while later – seconds or a minute at most although it felt much longer – the shock faded. Another burst of adrenaline kicked through my system and spurred me into action. I was not hurt, although the muscles in my shoulders and arms burned from their recent exertion, and so I moved quickly, beginning an examination of Cassie's injuries.

_Check the head wound first, then look for any bleeding_.

I tried to remain calm and remember the emergency training I'd taken at The Clinic.

Without moving her, I gingerly probed the gash beneath Cassie's hair, lifting the blood-red matted strands away so I could see properly. I tried not to inhale the coppery smell that overpowered the citrus fragrance I'd noticed earlier. Seeing the blood of someone I cared about, seeping out of their damaged body was so much worse than practising on strangers. My hands were bathed in red and the sight of it made me sick.

Shaking my head, I attempted to focus. The abrasion was still bleeding, but did not look deep. I wondered vaguely whether Cassie had banged into the underside of the rock shelf as she fell... I moved on without really trying to answer my own question. Around the edges of the cut, the thin layer of flesh that stretched across Cassie's skull was already swelling and I knew she would have a painful lump. Thankfully, it did not look too serious and I was sure it was not the reason she had blacked out.

I glanced towards Cassie's right arm. It was angled oddly away from her body, the forearm pointing upwards. I was positive it was dislocated.

_De ja vu_.

A similar image of another girl, in this same park flashed before my eyes. There was no blood on that girl, but the unnatural position of the limbs was almost identical.

"Cassie?" I asked softly, hoping for, but not anticipating, a response. I got what I expected and continued my examination. "Please Cassie – if you can hear my voice...Cassie, please show me if you can hear me..."

I'm so sorry I brought you here...this is all my fault...

"...not your fault."

It was just a whisper: words uttered on a breath of air, but I was sure I'd heard them. My gaze snapped to Cassie's face, but her eyes were still closed, her lips frozen. Had she spoken to me? Had she answered? It sounded like she said _"not your fault."_

"Cassie?"

There was no response. Her breathing was becoming more regular, though. At least I thought it was, perhaps it was hope colouring my assessment more positively, as there was still no obvious movement from her.

Ripping away a clean piece of fabric from the back of my ruined clinic-suit I pressed it against some of the darkest patches on Cassie's arms, soaking away the blood to try and see how bad the damage was. The cuts were messy and still bleeding, but none of them looked deep enough for stitches. A couple of them were long gashes and I tore away more fabric to wrap around them to slow the blood flow.

It was not good that she was still unconscious – how long had it been now...three minutes...five? I couldn't tell and felt panic welling up as my mind started running through the possible extent of her injuries: paralysis, coma, brain damage...

I shouldn't have brought you here...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...

Pressing my fingers lightly to the side of her neck into the hollow below her jaw-line I searched for a pulse. It was light and irregular.

Please be OK...it's all my fault...I'm sorry...

"Cassie? Can you hear me – Cassie?" I implored, my voice louder than before.

"...I'm trying...stop being sorry"

This time I saw her lips moving. Cassie _was_ muttering. Her words might be slurring together, barely discernable, but she was definitely talking. Telling me to stop being sorry. Had I actually said that aloud?

"Cassie...Cassie?" I was becoming desperate – I wanted to take hold of her shoulders and shake her to wakefulness, to prove that she was alive, but I couldn't do that. She looked so fragile and broken already; she would probably fall apart.

_Can you even hear me?_ I pleaded, moving my lips closer to her ears. "Cassie?" _I'm sorry...I need you to come back..._

A sigh passed through her lips. At first I thought it was just her shallow breathing still, but then it was followed by a light groan. "I'm coming...I'm coming..."

What was she saying? It sounded as if she was dreaming, rather than responding to my voice. Her words didn't really make sense. I was sure she'd said _I'm coming_. But, I hadn't asked her to come back...I'd only wished it, only thought it.

"Cassie," I leaned closer still, searching for more signs. Her eyelids flickered but remained closed as though she was struggling to fight off unconsciousness, but trying hard. Her eyelashes fluttered – more forcefully this time.

"Cassie – can you hear me?"

More movement: she was coming round. A loud groan creaked out of her throat, as she became aware of the pain. "Shhhhh," I stroked the hair gently away from her face trying to soothe her. In the next moment Cassie's eyes blinked rapidly, suddenly opening wide and then closing quickly against the shock of the daylight.

"It hurts," she whispered, her voice cracking over the words

The sound of her voice! My chest flooded with relief.

"Cassie! Thank goodness!!" I shouted the words realising, too late, how close I was to her ear and half-deafening her.

"Too loud," she complained weakly, her eyes still closed. When she opened them – squinting into the light – I felt her gaze searching for me and leaned close once more, trying to shield her from the brightness. Cassie examined me thoroughly as though _I_ was the injured person, before shutting her eyes again, grimacing as if it hurt her just to move that small part of her body.

"You look awful," she muttered.

I laughed – half-bitter, half-relieved. Apart from the relief, which filled me like oxygen, I felt empty – completely drained – now the adrenaline was leaving my body.

"You know, you don't look so great yourself right now." I tried to put her at ease, but the joke fell flat. My eyes were burning with tears of shock and happiness, but I was determined not let them fall. What would she think of me if I cried?

Then – to my disbelief and horror – Cassie started trying to roll over.

"Can you help me up?" she asked, her voice sounding more normal every time she spoke.

"Hold on a minute, don't move," I reached forward, pulling her gently back. "We need to make sure you don't do any more damage. Your shoulder is a real mess." There was only one sensible option and I knew it. "We'll have to get you to The Clinic to get everything checked over. The one in the Red Zone is closest, so we could go there..." That was going to be a difficult conversation: how to explain where we'd been without a lot of unwanted questions. But that didn't matter – I'd have to deal with the consequences later – Cassie needed treatment.

I was surprised when she shook her head. "That's not a good idea. There'll be lots of questions and they'll contact our parents. It's not worth it."

"What do you suggest?" I argued back immediately, ignoring the fact I'd just been thinking exactly the same thing.

I knew I shouldn't be angry with Cassie – I wasn't really – I just felt useless. It wasn't like I had any ideas of my own, but the events of the last few minutes had left me an absolute wreck. I tried again.

"You can't walk around with a dislocated shoulder – I think people will notice." It wasn't my best attempt: I came off sounding more sarcastic than concerned.

"You can do it," Cassie said.

For a moment or two I had no idea what her words actually meant. _Did she want me to go for help and bring them back here?_

Then I realised what she was saying. She wanted _me_ to realign her shoulder. The shock of that idea had barely registered with me, but she was already talking again.

"You've done your first couple of modules in the Emergency Medicine rotation."

I was incredulous. Cassie spoke as if she was asking me to take a look at a splinter in her finger. "Are you kidding?!" There were just no other words for how stupid an idea it was. "Your shoulder could be broken, not dislocated, or even both! I can't do that – I could hurt you even more!"

"You just pulled me over the edge of cliff!" she retorted with a scoff, "I'm sure you can do this. Joel and I did the basic training for Field Medicine on the second day of our rotation."

Yeah, well – I'm sure Joel would be the perfect person for this situation...

I shook my head to silence the jealous voice because it wasn't helping. There was being brave and there was just plain stupid. I might be feeling shell-shocked from everything that had happened in the last few minutes, but I was pretty sure that what Cassie was suggesting was the latter of those two things.

"Two days of Field Medicine training does not quite match up with a clinic full of equipment and trained Medics." I didn't bother disguising my feelings. Perhaps I spoke more harshly because – despite my words – a small part of me agreed with Cassie's motives for trying to keep this a secret.

Of course, Cassie was right: we would get into a lot of trouble for coming here, no matter how good an excuse we found for how she got injured. The scanner at the park entrance would have logged us coming inside and so even if we lied about where Cassie had gotten hurt, they would still probably investigate here. I had too much history in this place; literally too many _secrets_ buried in the park, to risk losing it. But those secrets were my reasons – not hers.

Why was she so concerned with being examined properly?

"You can do it," Cassie insisted, interrupting my thoughts and searching my face until she found my eyes and fixed me in an unwavering, emerald spotlight. If nothing else, her determination was persuasive. "You _can_ do this," she repeated, as though sensing I might waiver if she was convincing enough.

Pushing aside my own selfish concerns – as well as the questions I had about what had happened when Cassie was unconscious – I paused to consider her request. _Could_ I do this?

Self-doubt was not something I was too familiar with – conceited I know – but I'd always just seemed to know what I was good at, and been able to sense where my limits lay. If we were in The Clinic and it was someone else, I'd probably be jumping at the chance to test my skills. This was different. We didn't have the luxury of diagnosis equipment, medicines or experienced teachers to help. And it was Cassie. The thought of doing this – doing anything that might hurt her – made me feel physically sick.

Before I made my decision I needed to know that Cassie understood what she was asking me to do. "What if it's not just dislocated?" My voice lost some of its conviction as Cassie was already brushing off my protest before I'd finished speaking. Maybe I could appeal to her practical side... "You should have a bone scan and some pain relief before anything is done. I don't even like the idea of moving you from here in the first place – maybe I should just go and call for an emergency team?"

"You know a shoulder dislocation can often be more easily reduced in the period of time immediately following the injury when the muscles are not yet in spasm."

Cassie managed to sound like a medical training guide as she dismissed my suggestions. I grimaced with irritation. Just the idea that we would attempt to mend something like a shoulder dislocation on our own was crazy! Surely, Cassie knew she was being ridiculous?

Apparently not – she was still talking.

"I'm pretty certain I know what to look for, so if you check me over _and_ we think it's OK, will you try?" Her final plea was undeniably hopeful. " _And_ if I promise to go to The Clinic if it doesn't work?"

I couldn't believe I was actually considering doing this – despite Cassie's confident sounding words, I was sure that under any other circumstances she would not be considering letting me loose on her body with just a few weeks of medical training.

I said nothing. Partly because I was still considering whether I might actually do this. The other part of me had gotten mildly distracted with the phrase _let loose on her body_ as it ran through my mind. I shook the thought away – this was neither the time nor the place to be a ridiculously stereotypical boy, was it?

"You'll do it?"

Cassie pounced on my silence, obviously assuming it meant I conceded. Apart from the medical aspects, her plan made sense: we would get into a world of trouble for endangering ourselves by coming here. _Was I really selfish enough to put my secret life above Cassie's well being?_ I tried to defend my actions by telling myself it was what she wanted, but that felt like a lame excuse even as I thought it. I was not ready to give up everything I'd worked for... _not even for her?_

"As if you gave me any choice," I finally muttered, shaking my head in disgust with my own self-interest.

"Great!" Cassie grinned – happy with her victory – until the movement made her frown in pain.

If we were going to do this, we should get started. It was probably too late for ground rules, but it felt necessary. I nodded to confirm I was going to do as she asked, clarifying: "but I'm doing this _only_ if we're sure it's a dislocation."

Cassie nodded obediently.

"I can't believe I'm actually agreeing to this..." I shook my head – mainly at myself – once again dismayed with what I had consented to try. It was more for my benefit than hers.

"Ready?"

She nodded.

"Let's see then, shall we...?"

Cassie's gaze rested heavily on me as her eyes tracked my movements. I tried to ignore that and focused on her injuries instead. It's just another patient at The Clinic, I told myself as I leaned over her body and let my hands begin the examination.

Even though I was as gentle as possible and didn't move her arm, Cassie still flinched away as I touched her shoulder. "Are you OK?" I froze immediately. The anger I felt with myself leaked into my voice as I spoke. "I'm not going to do it if you're in this much pain."

Cassie shook her head, cringing once more as the movement affected her shoulder. "No it's OK, I'm fine." She was not a good actress.

"You're a liar," I told her, adding a silent _"just like me,"_ before starting again. I watched her face for a few seconds, searching for any sign that she realised what a selfish monster I was. I found nothing in her eyes but trust and that pained me more than anything. "I can't hurt you," I whispered, not really knowing whether I was talking about her arm or the numerous other things about me that I knew could cause her harm.

"I'll tell you if it's too much," Cassie promised.

I could only nod in acceptance. Deep down I wished that I could promise her the same thing, but I knew I was just not that honest. Looking into her face gave me the terrible feeling that if I continued along the path we had begun together, I would only succeed in bringing Cassie more pain... Steeling myself I refocused on the problem before me. This was not the time or the place to get distracted by my own confusion: it would not be helpful for either of us.

Moving as slowly as before, my hands resumed their examination. After a few seconds Cassie's eyes closed – perhaps because of the pain – but with some relief I felt her relax a little too. Being wholly professional, I tried not to notice how much I liked the feel of her bare skin beneath my fingers when I touched her. _I am a Medic, she is a patient_ I told myself over and over again as I worked, it distracted me a little.

"It doesn't feel like a shoulder separation," I told her, as I ran through the various diagnostic indicators we'd been taught to look for in the Emergency Medicine sessions. I ran my fingers around her shoulder. Her skin and subcutaneous tissue yielded to the light pressure of my fingers in all the wrong places: I could detect no connection at all between the bone and socket. Despite my inexperience, I was confident it felt like a complete dislocation.

"The humerus has definitely lost contact with the scapula," I told Cassie as I moved on from her shoulder and began checking the bones in her lower arm. "There don't seem to be any obvious breaks...from the position of your arm, it looks like a dislocation."

Finished with my examination I leaned back on my heels. When I touched her arm, I had felt her flinch away from me. It was obvious she was trying to hide how much pain she was in, so that I wouldn't take her to The Clinic. She was a stubborn girl.

"Definitely feels like the humerus is sitting at the front of the shoulder blade." I gave my final diagnosis, watching her face carefully for any reaction. Something that might make me do the right thing, perhaps?

"An anterior dislocation?" Cassie clarified my words immediately, drawing the correct terminology from our recent training.

I nodded, smiling. "I told you that you were good at this."

"So are you." Cassie offered me a small grin, before prompting me to get to work. "Now we know what it is, we need to get it reduced then..."

"It seems straight-forward enough..." although, my uncertainty as to whether I could actually do this, was beginning to return. "But, if I get it wrong it could lead to worse complications."

"If that happens you can take me to The Clinic," Cassie promised. I felt her working to find my eyes with her own; as if she somehow knew what kind of power they held over me. Her gaze locked onto mine and I found her confidence surging into me as she told me: "I won't need that, you'll get it right."

I nodded. Maybe I would get it right.

"We need to get you stood up to try this." I worked hard to sound professional and capable. "Do you feel OK to do that?"

"Can you give me a hand?" She asked, by way of an answer to my question. Taking her left arm as she offered it to me, I lifted her from the ground. Her body swayed slightly once she was upright and I held on until she stopped moving.

"I can't believe you're making me do this," I muttered to myself – talking to the selfish beast inside me. I felt Cassie twitch and realised she must have thought I was talking to her. Clearing my throat I addressed her now, trying to cover for my misdirected accusation. "I'd at least feel a little better if we had some pain relief for you."

"Well, look at it this way: if it hurts that much I'll probably black out again anyway!"

Cassie was trying to joke with me. Trying to make _me_ feel better about what we were about to do. I couldn't have felt worse about how I was behaving. Even though I thought I was falling in love with this girl, I was still putting everything _I_ wanted first. I was an idiot. I was selfish. I wanted to keep my secrets.

"Let's just do it," Cassie prompted, stirring me from my trance.

She was right. "Turn around," I said, helping her to spin into position in front of me. Our bodies pressed close together, slightly out of line so that I stood behind Cassie's right shoulder – my chest and right arm able to move comfortably around her injury. I tried to sound less brusque when I spoke again, it wasn't fair for me to sound angry with Cassie when I was only disappointed with myself. "I'm not going to give you a countdown I'm just going to do it, OK?" She merely nodded in response.

In preparation, I gently circled her right arm in front of her body, so that it sat across her stomach to form a L-shape. Cassie didn't resist my direction, although I felt her tense as she registered the movement. Once in position, I secured her arm in place, grasping her wrist in my left hand.

At first as we stood there, I could feel Cassie's heart racing inside her chest. The light, thrumming beat pumped through her back and into my body where I held her close against me. I didn't want her to be scared when I tried to do this. For a while – long or short I don't really know – I just held her and waited. Finally, her heart rate slowed and her breathing calmed. In a couple of breaths I synchronised my own breathing with hers and on the fourth breath rotated her arm away from her body, coaxing her shoulder back into the socket.

To Cassie it probably felt like a single movement. Her body sagged forwards as the pain obviously increased and I struggled to hold her fully upright with just my left arm around her waist. But I was able to continue the circular movements we had been shown and on the third rotation, I felt her shoulder slide back into the joint.

On the verge of blacking out, Cassie staggered into me. I pulled her arm back in front of her body to rest, now it was reset, and tightened my grip around her waist. Her knees buckled and we both sank to the ground. I did my best to break her fall with my legs, whilst protecting her right arm as we moved. It wasn't a bad effort: we ended up in a neat sitting position, with Cassie's body wound inwards, wrapped inside my arms.

"Shhhhhhhh," I whispered into her hair. "It's done now. It's over." There was no answer, but I wasn't expecting one. Cassie's eyes fluttered closed and I held onto her as her breathing became less ragged, more peaceful. I don't think she felt it when I kissed her head.

### Chapter 9

While Cassie dozed, I let my mind wander, freely enjoying how it felt to sit here with this beautiful, albeit rather worse-for-wear, girl wrapped inside my arms. There was something exhilarating in knowing that she felt safe with me – ironic though that may be. I knew that in reality my questions and mistrust of the SS Hope would endanger her if she got drawn further into my life. But, earlier today and just now, she had trusted me to help and protect her. Cassie had faith in _me_.

For me, a new bond had formed between us: blossoming out of the nightmare we'd been through in that short space of time. I was bound to Cassie now in a different way than I had been. Something inside me wanted to stay this way always: shielding Cassie from anything that could hurt her.

Was this love?

My feelings for Cassie were beginning to overshadow everything else, including my desire to escape the Family Quarter. When I thought about it now, I couldn't imagine going through with my plans – not if it meant leaving without her.

I leaned my cheek against Cassie's forehead, blowing away a tiny blade of grass that had attached itself to her eyelash. She barely moved, just lay in my arms, peaceful it seemed. I sighed. How could I feel so attached to someone I barely knew? I had existed on my own for so long – wrapped up in my plans and theories – I had no idea that I could feel the way I did right now. This wasn't about research, or knowledge, or even the lies anymore. It was about _us._ Well, it was for me... But, if I laid bare all of my secrets, how would Cassie react? Even though she trusted me, could I say the same thing about her?

I didn't shake my head. I didn't do anything, because I still had no answers. These questions were too similar to the ones that had been chasing themselves around my head, ever since I'd decided to follow my final path of investigation, and spoken to Cassie after our exams. I searched for something else to think about, an easy distraction from these complicated questions that I had no idea how to solve.

Without intending to, I began dissecting what had happened in the last twenty minutes. When I thought back to Cassie falling, I found myself incredulous that I'd had the strength to hold on to her, despite the genetic enhancements I'd made. Holding her weight had pushed me way beyond any of the tests I had put myself through. How far I might actually be able to go...?

Wriggling my shoulders lightly – so as not to disturb Cassie in my arms – I felt the unmistakable ache of pulled muscles. As I adjusted, I felt the burning throb further down my body: my neck, back and arms had all been pushed hard, but was it to the limit of my capabilities...?

I could lift reasonably heavy weights: I exercised in the fitness centre during my allotted physical care sessions, just like everyone else, but the weights there were limited for safety, of course. In Park 42, I'd been able to fashion my own weights from the discarded stone resin that decorated the landscape, and so I'd practised with much heavier weights, both before and after my experiment with the gene therapy. Cassie might be slim, but she was still a lot heavier than anything I'd ever lifted before.

Could there be another key factor at play, besides my training and experimentation? The only answer I could come up with was adrenaline. I'd read about it, but had never believed it was possible for a surge of chemicals in the body to make such a difference. Fight or flight...life or death... It had been one of those moments, hadn't it?

Gently brushing a hand across the badly bandaged cuts on Cassie's arm, I shuddered at how awful they looked. The lump on her head was still visible from where I sat half-behind her, and I thought about her blacking out. I would have to disturb her soon, just to be sure there was no danger from a concussion.

My mind moved on. Cassie had been out of it for how long...? I still couldn't properly calculate the time that had passed when she was unconscious. I replayed the moments inside my head, trying to work out how long it had been: my words and her whispered answers echoed over one another. That was when it hit me: I saw exactly what had been wrong with Cassie's answers.

Leaning into Cassie's neck, I whispered close to her ear. "Are you awake?"

"Mmmm," Cassie sighed in response.

The noise made my stomach twist in a funny way, she sounded so content. "How do you feel?"

"Better, but not great," she replied, her voice still subdued.

I laughed uncomfortably. _Better, but not great_ , I could appreciate that sentiment. "I think I'm in shock. I can't believe what happened..."

"You mean you don't drop people off cliffs and perform Field Medicine on a daily basis?"

I ignored the light teasing in her question. "No. Today has been a first for me in several areas."

She might have said "Oh?" but I didn't really hear properly and anyway, I needed to talk to her about what had happened – or what I _thought_ had happened. "When you were unconscious earlier, do you remember anything?"

"Before you realigned my shoulder?"

I nodded.

"I remember everything," Cassie confirmed.

At least she didn't think her memory was impaired, that was a good thing. But I needed more. "What _exactly_ do you remember?"

For several seconds Cassie was silent and I wondered whether she was going to answer me. Perhaps I hadn't been clear in my question. Then she spoke.

"I was standing on the ledge and you were behind me about to say something...Then the edge of the rock broke away and I fell; you caught me and dragged me back over, yanking my arm out of the socket in the process."

Well, Cassie's recollection of that part – at least – was clear. I cringed as the last few words made my eyes close and my own memories bubble to the surface: I saw the fear in her face, her broken body and blood on my hands... My arms stiffened around Cassie's shoulders before I could force the images away and make myself relax. Obviously, she blamed me for what had happened, and why shouldn't she? I'd nearly gotten Cassie killed, by bringing her to this isolated place just so that I could quiz her and find out if I could trust her with _my_ secrets. I was such an idiot. A selfish idiot, I corrected.

"I think that's when I blacked out."

Cassie spoke so quietly that I almost missed her words, too preoccupied with berating myself. Forcing my attention back to the conversation, I pressed on with my questioning. Aside from my selfish stupidity – which was a given – there was another issue to be answered. "When you were unconscious, do you remember anything before you came round?"

"You were talking to me."

Cassie adjusted herself, as though she was trying to turn around and face me. When she winced in pain I stopped her movements, gently pulling her back towards my chest. She shouldn't be moving yet – for medical reasons, obviously – and I allowed myself a small smile as I resettled my arms around her chest.

Our positions had shifted slightly from a moment before and Cassie's head leaned back easily on the front of my shoulder now. I turned that way, able to see her face better, instead of just the top of her head.

"What was I saying?" I asked, once Cassie appeared comfortable.

She closed her eyes in concentration, her mouth scrunching up thoughtfully before she spoke. Then the words came out slowly, stopping and starting, with lots of pauses. "You were apologising...you were saying it was your fault...that you shouldn't have brought me here..." Her voice changed, abruptly insistent. "It wasn't your fault. It was just an accident – you don't have to be sorry."

It was nice of Cassie to try and make me feel better, even though it did nothing to ease my guilt. Her eyes fixed on mine, trying to convey the truth of her words, when she insisted, "I'm fine" again.

"You said that, before, when you were unconscious."

"And I _meant_ it!" Her lips pressed into a line, emphasising her words.

"You sounded like you did," I agreed. "The problem is I didn't _say_ I was sorry, or that it was my fault. I only _said_ your name."

"I don't understand what you mean." Cassie's eyes shifted left, staring past me before her face turned that way a moment later. When her head shook slightly I knew she was dismissing whatever thoughts had been there a second ago. "You said my name," she insisted. " _And_ that you were sorry. I heard you say it – clearly in my head – I _heard_ you..."

Cassie sounded so convinced, so sure of her memories – could it be mine that were flawed? Had adrenaline helped me in one way, but clouded my brain in another...? I needed to see Cassie's face to be sure of what she was saying: she always hid so much behind her words.

My right arm was still supporting Cassie's injured shoulder like a sling. Leaning lightly into her back, I tipped her body forward and tilted her face towards me with my free hand. At the movement she opened her eyes, but she didn't resist me.

Once we were facing each other, I let my eyes wander across her features – ignoring the scratches and dirt – her gaze rose to meet mine. "That's what I mean," I looked deep into her eyes. "I know what you heard...you were answering me...but I didn't _say_ those things; I _thought_ them."

I waited...first her face registered surprise and then confusion. Cassie's lips trembled as though she was going to speak, but no words came out. I thought for a moment she might be about to cry. When no tears fell, I wasn't sure what to do and so I just nodded at her, reaffirming my words.

The stillness between us became uncomfortable. Our faces and bodies were so close together, and yet that was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to know what she was thinking, but could read nothing in her expression. Would she believe that something so impossible could have happened? I wasn't even sure that I believed it myself.

"I don't know what you're saying." Cassie finally choked out in a whisper. Her eyes hadn't left my mine, but no matter how hard I looked I couldn't tell what was behind her words. It sounded like fear. Had my question scared her?

Trying to reassure Cassie that I wasn't crazy – and hadn't meant to scare her – I took her face in the palm of my hand. The warmth from her skin felt so pleasant against my own, I could almost forget the question that had been irritating me earlier. Almost. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened when Cassie was unconscious. Some loose strands of hair stuck against her cheek and I brushed them aside, securing them behind her ear.

"I'm saying that when you spoke to me before, you answered what I was thinking and not what I was saying – you answered as though you could hear _exactly_ what was inside my head." Even as I tried to make my words sound plausible, I knew what I was suggesting sounded ridiculous...but at the same time, the more I thought about it, the more I became convinced of what had happened. "My next question would be: how is that possible?" _There it was – I'd said it – now to see what Cassie would say_.

I leaned back, folding my arms to let her know I would wait for an answer. Finally, Cassie replied.

"It's not possible...it must have been a coincidence..." She sounded uncertain, scrabbling for words. "Subconsciously I must have heard you calling me and I put some kind of meaning to your words and answered that instead."

Cassie didn't call me crazy. She didn't look at me as though I had lost my mind. She was immediately logical, answering me as though this was part of a sensible discussion at The Clinic. Nothing in her words rang true. There was no outright dismissal or rebuttal of my idea...if anything Cassie sounded guilty, as if I had stumbled across something she already knew.

Was that possible?

I shook my head. "You were talking to me," I repeated. "I don't know how – I'll freely admit that – but you _were_ answering me as though I had spoken the thoughts aloud."

"How can you be sure you didn't say it? You said before you were in shock..." Cassie directed the question back at me. She sounded...defensive.

I pondered this. To be answering words someone thought rather than said was an odd thing to happen, admittedly – but why would Cassie be _so_ adamant nothing had happened? It could have been a freak occurrence, connected to adrenaline surges in the heat of the moment...or a connection between two people, like the odd de ja vu feelings I sometimes got.

When I looked across at Cassie, I saw that she was resolutely avoiding my eyes. From everything I had learned about her in the time we'd spent together, her reaction to this was just so _different_. She was behaving in the same way I would if I got caught doing something I shouldn't be. She was lying.

I shook my head once again. "I _know_ what I said and what I thought – and until I asked you now, you were sure I'd been speaking to you – you didn't seem to hear what I'd actually said, just what I thought. You didn't even hear me saying your name over and over again, did you?"

"So what are you saying? You think I'm crazy?" The tension in Cassie's voice ratcheted with each word, and the resentment that burned on her cheeks only emphasised her objections.

"No! I don't think that at all!" I wasn't accusing _her_ of being crazy. But something crazy had happened in the minutes after she fell. I just wanted to know what.

"What do you think then?" Cassie demanded, her voice losing some of the harshness as she looked back at me for the first time.

Why wasn't she intrigued by this strange occurrence like I was? Cassie was normally curious, even though I knew she often hid that side of her personality from her school friends, but she was dismissing this out of hand...becoming angry when very little had been said. _If it was such a silly notion, then why was she focusing this back onto herself, instead of accusing me?_

The only answer I could imagine was that she knew something about what had happened earlier. And if she did, I had to know what that was...perhaps it was the reason Scarlett had insisted Cassie would be able to help me.

"I think – and I don't know how it's possible – but I think that you _did_ hear what I thought and you answered me."

" _You_ sound crazy," she muttered, her words not carrying enough force to make it sound like she actually believed the accusation.

I waited, but Cassie offered nothing further. We sat staring at each other for an indeterminate length of time, no words passing between us. I could tell she was thinking hard, she probably didn't realise, but she was nibbling the corner of her bottom lip – a complete giveaway. I decided she needed a prompt. "Have you ever noticed anything like that before?"

A pause, then "No." Cassie shook her head at the same time as looking away from me.

"You're lying to me," I said. _And you're really bad at it._

Incapable of looking at her, I focused on the ground beside me, suddenly fascinated by a rough cluster of grass. It was surprisingly painful to acknowledge that Cassie didn't want me to know something about her – didn't trust me – when I found myself revealing so much to her.

Again there was a long silence. When Cassie finally spoke there was no denial of my accusation, she just said, "I need to get home." The conversation was over, whether I wanted it to be or not.

Resisting the urge to punch my fist into the ground, I buried my frustration. Perhaps this wasn't the right time to get her to talk...she nearly died less than an hour ago. That incident might be affecting Cassie more than whether she trusted me or not, and it was an explanation I really liked the sound of. I would let it go...for now.

### Chapter 10

"So...are you going to be OK?" I leaned around Cassie to peer into her apartment. The open-plan living space was empty and everything was quiet, so I assumed her parents weren't home yet, even though we'd dawdled on our way back from the park and detoured via a café for dinner.

Cassie looked pale – well, paler than usual, at least. I guessed she was tired after everything that had happened: a near-death experience, an almost declaration of love and a scientific mystery were a lot to handle in one afternoon.

"I'll be fine." Cassie said.

Her voice stirred me from my thoughts and I realised she was answering my question. I found I was disappointed not be staying with her longer. Even more so when she added: "I'm just going to grab a shower and get an early night."

I cleared my throat. "Do you have anything here for pain relief?" The enquiry was a lame attempt at distracting myself from the hormone-driven images that had overloaded my brain at the mere mention of _Cassie_ and _shower_ in the same sentence. _Maybe there was some sense in reducing testosterone levels, after all. It seemed to make me stupid._

"I think so." Cassie paused, wrinkling her nose as she thought about it. "I'll find something to help – don't worry about it."

My lip curled up at her blasé response. Cassie was dismissing her needs – again – and I just _knew_ that if she could have moved her shoulder, she would have shrugged off my question as well. As if I could forget that she had mangled her arm and nearly died, because of me! Well, if she wasn't going to help herself, I would just have to make use of my skills and get her something from The Clinic.

Speaking of _special skills_ , I realised that we hadn't said anything more about the weird thing that happened in the park over dinner. It was odd. Everything about the way Cassie reacted to my suggestion made me think that there was more to it, rather than just an odd coincidence. Did she actually have something to hide? I stared at her, and she watched me back, as I first tried to figure out what might be going on, and then I tried asking her. _Can you really hear what I'm thinking?_

"What?" Cassie snapped at me, her eyes flashing brightly.

I chuckled, taking in the exasperated expression on her face: she obviously didn't enjoy being scrutinised. "I was trying to tell you something," I said truthfully, adding: "but it obviously didn't work – maybe today was a one-off after all..."

Cassie's head shook, her eyes rolling skyward as she allowed herself a short laugh. Just as before, there was something _off_ about her reaction. Her laugh was a short bark, and she moved away from me, stepping back into the shadowy apartment as if distancing herself from the conversation.

"I'm not one of your science experiments you know!"

I laughed at her reprimand, although it was my turn to be false this time. In just a few short weeks of watching Cassie, I knew that it was fear that I saw in her eyes just then, not laughter, not anger. For now, I pretended not to see it and teased her back. "We'll just have to see about that."

_This definitely isn't over_.

She frowned and I could see Cassie fighting to make her anger seem real, but she didn't manage it and a genuine smile softened her face a moment later.

_What was she so afraid of?_ I couldn't think of anything that should make her so nervous, and it just seemed wrong that she was pretending to laugh it off, instead of _actually_ doing that.

Some of my old fears bubbled to the surface as I found myself questioning what Cassie might be trying to hide. I didn't believe she was part of the web of lies we were trapped inside, but at the same time, it appeared that I wasn't the only one capable of keeping a secret. For the second time today, I felt the stabbing pain of rejection, realising that Cassie just did not trust me.

I stared at the floor, taking a deep breath to steady the nerves that were suddenly twisting my stomach into knots. "I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I like you so much." In a surprising step, I made a completely honest admission, not really knowing why I felt the need to do it. Then, in a typical Cassie-move, I shrugged my shoulders dismissing my own words.

In the short silence that followed my random, but honest confession, I felt my control beginning to slip. I needed to get out of there before I said, or did, something I'd regret.

"You didn't say goodbye," Cassie called as I retreated down the hall.

From the sound of her voice I guessed that she had ventured forward to watch me leave. I raised my hand in a half wave, but didn't turn around to check if my assumption was correct. "Goodbye Cassie!" I shouted back, as I dropped into the stairwell.

My feet slapped against the hard plastic resin steps as I plunged downward. I was about to do one of the stupidest things I'd ever attempted, which was saying something. Maybe, after this, Cassie would know that she could trust me.

* * *

The Family Quarter had turned dark in the time it took me to walk from the café to Cassie's apartment, and then back to the central area at the edge of the Green and Blue Residential Zones. As the mirrored ceiling had tilted into artificial night, softer lights came to life on the outside of the buildings and tall street lamps. We learned at school that the normal cycle of day and night had been imitated on the SS Hope to give inhabitants a sense of comfort and familiarity. Normally, it seemed odd to me that we created a false darkness on the station, only to illuminate it, but for once I actually found something comforting in the change. Perhaps, it was because tonight I wanted to hide in the shadows and make use of the darkness.

Across the plaza ahead of me loomed The Clinic. In daylight it was so clean and bright you could barely stand to look at it, but now in the dim light the reflections disappeared and instead you could see the movements inside the building, through the transparent façade. I watched a few dark suited figures gliding through the rooms, watching over the patients as they rested. It looked quiet, just as I had hoped. All the daytime services that operated in The Clinic had finished running at 6.00pm and so, few staff would still be here now unless they were working on the occupied wards.

I dropped onto a bench, pulling my day sac onto my knee so that I could activate the portable viewing screen inside, without taking it out. As I waited for the system to warm up, I listened to the happy splashing sound of the water in the fountain, not two metres from where I sat.

In daylight hours I liked watching the patterns the droplets would make as they sparkled and tumbled over one another. I would often wait here to _accidentally_ run in to Cassie at the end of a placement day; enjoying the peace after a few hours with Olivia. There was something _real_ about the fountain. I could appreciate the freedom water had – at the same time I resented its easy liberty! The only force each droplet adhered to was gravity, albeit the specially created gravitational field that operated on the space station. The water went up and came down, but everything in between was unknown. I wished my life had such opportunities.

Beep.

The viewing screen was ready. As I reached my fingers towards the keypad, I suddenly realised that I might actually get my wish. With everything I'd been doing recently, perhaps I was creating my own opportunities. Right now, I was going to try something I had never dreamed of previously, and I had no idea what the consequences might be if I got caught. In the past, had I been scared to push myself this far? I couldn't be sure, but I knew that today – when Cassie needed my help – I was going to do this.

Was that what Scarlett had wanted from Cassie? For her to push my boundaries?

My fingers moved across the screen and within seconds I had logged into the main Family Quarter computer system. It was easy to navigate and I had a good general knowledge of pretty much everything that happened in the Quarter, based on what I had learned over the last few years. With a few swipes and taps I was able to work my way into any area I wanted – with the exception that I couldn't get to any systems beyond the Family Quarter. From what I could see, there was a completely independent setup from the systems that ran the wider space station, even the Retirement and Married Quarter systems were not connected to ours. The independence of our system was only a minor irritation today, because I wasn't looking for information on what existed beyond the grey resin boundary walls of the Family Quarter.

Without really focusing on what I was doing, my fingers had automatically guided the screen to the engineering blue prints for The Clinic. I scanned the image, zooming in when I found a likely candidate for the medicine storeroom, and zooming out when I realised it wasn't.

Finally, I reached the basement level. There were two floors that extended below the ground level of The Clinic. According to the blueprint, the medicine storeroom was immediately beneath the great entrance hall. And it was huge.

Zooming into the plan again, I was able to pull up the security settings for the area. There was a general access keypad at the main entrance to the corridor leading to storerooms – Level 3 clearance. That wouldn't be a problem: watching my Father over the years, I had memorised all of his number-chains, which ran to Level 4 areas. However, the main medical store itself was a different matter. This was a swipe reader, and I knew that the only people issued with swipe cards in The Clinic were the Medics themselves.

"Damn it!" I muttered. If I had already qualified as a Medic, this wouldn't be a problem, but I was just a Medic's son.

Just a Medic's son...

The words repeated themselves in my head, and sparked the beginning of a plan. Closing down the viewing screen, having already memorised the route I needed to take, I hopped up from the bench and slung my bag across my body.

With one last glance at the fountain, I realised that I _was_ getting my wish to be as free as the water that flowed there. I was here right now, but what would happen next, was completely unknown. Trying not to grin, I set off toward the welcoming entrance of The Clinic.

The scanner in the doorway beeped softly as I passed. I barely noticed the familiar sound as it registered my mark, although out of habit I looked down at the small combination of shapes tattooed in black onto the inside of my right wrist. It never changed no matter how much I looked at it, but I could just never shake the feeling that it _should_.

The usual crowds were absent this evening and the large entrance hall was quiet, except for a few Medics passing through from one area to another. A couple of parents – I assumed – were leaving for the night, one looking calm, the other...scared? I turned away, uncomfortable at the unfamiliar show of emotion in an adult.

This evening there was a lone receptionist seated at the large reception desk off to one side of the hall. The counter would normally be filled with five people during the daytime and so the woman looked abnormally small as she perched behind the long narrow desk. At the sound of the scanner she looked up, glancing at me and then turning to the screen beside her. I had no choice but to go over.

As I drew nearer I realised that the receptionist was not an adult, as I'd first thought. The biggest giveaway was the fact that she smiled at me as I approached.

"Hi?" I said as I reached the desk. She was looking at me expectantly – as if we knew each other – and it made my greeting sound unsure, when I hadn't meant it to.

"Hello Balik," she smiled brightly back at me.

There was something familiar about the girl, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't her face; not the icy blue eyes or dark hair swept up into a high ponytail, showing off bright indigo stripes in her fringe. The girl's gaze flicked over my features in return, and the curve in her mouth widened further.

"Erm, hi?" I repeated, unable to remove the question from my tone. When she didn't offer anything else, I found curiosity got the better of me. "Do we know each other?"

"No," she laughed, shaking her head from side to side, making her multi-coloured ponytail flick out. "When you scanned in, your details came up on my screen." A brief wave of her hand in the direction of the viewing screen reinforced her words, although she didn't bother looking that way.

"Oh, right." I bobbed my head once in understanding.

"But, I know who you are."

My eyebrows twitched upward in an unspoken question. The girl giggled a little, the noise squeaking in her throat.

"What I meant to say is that you're on placement with a friend of mine – Olivia – she's been saying you're going to meet us nearly every day since she started, but you're always doing extra work or have plans..."

Her words trailed off in an odd way: it wasn't the end of a sentence or a direct question. When she added nothing else, I realised that I would have to say something.

"I – Olivia – yeah, we're placement partners."

"It must be nice to have someone to talk to while you're on placement," the girl pouted. "I've been on the night shift for the last two weeks and there is NO ONE to talk to."

I struggled not to laugh out loud. How nice would it be _not_ to have Olivia chattering away at my elbow for eight hours a day? I didn't laugh. Instead I said, "That doesn't sound like fun at all."

"So, how come you've never come to meet us? Olivia's always saying how good friends you two are."

I managed to control the surprise I felt, and at the same time something deflated in me. I may not be good with other people, but I could read them well enough. By the sounds of it Olivia did like me. Just as Cassie had said – just as I had suspected.

"We are, I just – it's tough being on the Medic rotation – that's why I came on the extended placement. It's been even harder than I thought it would be, if I'm honest."

"I'm sure you're doing well," she smiled.

"I don't know about that – I probably forget more than I remember!" I gave her a sheepish grin, hoping I looked honest. "I've had to come back now because I've forgotten something."

"It's pretty late," she glanced at the time on her viewing screen, "there's not many Medics left from the day rotations."

"I know. It's actually Mother I've come to see, I'll probably only be a few minutes."

"Oh, OK." She sounded a bit disappointed, maybe hoping that I'd stay and chat longer to help her pass some time on her shift. Definitely picked the wrong person for that!

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Yes, thanks." I was confident in both my knowledge of The Clinic and the blueprint I'd looked at. The next part would be the most difficult.

"Thanks for your help..." I backed away from the counter, heading in the direction of the lifts.

"Kerry," she filled in for me.

"Thanks Kerry, I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Great," she grinned at me, just before I turned around.

At the bank of lifts I pressed the number seven for the floor I wanted and waited for the lift to arrive. A few moments later, the white doors swished softly open and I stepped inside.

As the doors closed behind me a computerised female voice advised: "Destination Level Seven, Biochemistry and Development Ward."

It was a bit of a leap, but I knew that Mother worked regularly in Biochemistry and that the labs were usually covered by other Medics during the night, so I was expecting to find someone there with access permissions similar to hers. I just hoped my hunch was right.

As I entered the lab my mark triggered the scanner at the door. I looked around and at first saw no one, until a quiet cough drew my attention towards the back of the room. A young Medic was working alone at a long white bench, he held a pipette in one hand and a small test tube in the other. The inquisitive cough and the way he was staring at me now made it obvious that I'd disturbed him. He was probably only a couple of years older than me, but his dark blue suit clearly showed that was a fully qualified Medic.

"Can I help you?"

I kicked my feet into moving forwards, reminding myself that I had come here for a reason.

"Yes, hi, I'm Balik."

No response. Cassie was right – we _do_ turn into our parents once we start working with them. It was surprising this guy hadn't already eloped, there weren't many young people that stayed here for more than a year or so after successfully completing their placements...although it was the ones who left before placement that surprised me more.

"I was looking for my mother, I needed to ask her something."

"You didn't message her." It was a statement, not a question.

"Er, no." I agreed. _Wow, you sound like a real idiot_. Get your brain in gear and lie better! I stepped closer. "I was just passing on my way home and thought I would stop in to see her."

"It's quite late – she must have been on the day rotation and finished already."

"Yeah," I nodded, taking another two paces forward to join him at the bench. "What are you doing?"

"Hormone sampling for some new babies, just checking the levels are all OK. It's standard stuff."

"Interesting," I noted, leaning forwards to peer into the test tube rack as though it was particularly intriguing.

"It's standard stuff." He repeated.

"Sure," I stepped away from the counter, pushing my hands deep into my pockets, disguising the fact that I'd just lifted the man's Medic pass off the clip on his suit belt. "Well, thanks anyway, I'll head home now."

He didn't even bother to say goodbye as I walked from the room. My main focus was on trying to keep my steps as normal as possible, even though I wanted to run as fast as I could. When I turned at the door to look back, he had already returned to work.

I pressed my hand to the panel and the door opened, registering my leaving with a quiet beep. By the time the door slid shut I was already in the emergency stairwell, jumping down the steps.

I jogged down the stairs until I came to the ground floor. I hadn't bothered with the lifts, as I already knew from using them a few minutes before there was no option to take you to the basement levels. No doubt there was only a service lift to this area, and I'd never used one in The Clinic before, so it would just have made things harder to look for it now. The stairs were good. I had seen the markings on the blueprint and knew that they went to the lower levels from where I stood now. Taking hold of the handrail, I began my descent more slowly this time.

As I came to the bottom, the last step opened out into a small square space with blank walls. The lights were dimmer here – not the bright white of the upper levels – and I squinted to try and make out my surroundings. I knew there had to be a door here, but nothing was immediately visible.

Having stared at the blank walls for a few seconds, I realised that the one place I hadn't looked was behind me. I dropped down onto the landing and walked back on myself. Through the dim light I saw a doorway, concealed beneath the closed treads of the stairs I had come down. This was it.

To the left hand side of the door was the standard keypad. I ran my fingers across the panel, navigating to the correct screen and then inputting Father's maintenance access code. A second later, the light in the panel changed to white and the door slid open. I looked around for a scanner, but there didn't seem to be anything at all here – perhaps they never expected anyone to tamper with the systems? No scanner, meant no way to trace who had been here. "Perfect," I grinned and stepped through the opening.

On the other side of the door was a service corridor. The passage was darker and smaller than the ones in The Clinic above, not much different to the ones I'd seen in areas of the engineering sector – my trips there had also been courtesy of Father's pass codes. There wasn't time for comparison though, I needed to get in and out as quickly as possible – I was pretty good at lying, but there would be no way to explain my presence here if I got caught.

Moving swiftly down the corridor I glanced at the doors and closed rooms either side of me as I passed. The air felt thicker in the narrow passage as I went deeper, and I detected a faint chemical smell to it that felt less pure than I was used to in the station. I recalled that the first three doors on my left were to access the main engineering equipment that ran The Clinic's air and thermocontrol systems. That would explain some of the smells.

A dozen more paces along, I stopped. On my right was a door with a sign beside it that read: Room B.19. There was no description alongside, but I knew this was the right place, just like the blueprint had shown. The swipe access was also there – just like on the plans – the other doors I had passed had keypads or no additional security features at all.

With a slight thrill of excitement and trepidation, I slid the stolen card through the reader and watched in awe as the light turned from red to green. The door clicked very quietly and I turned the handle, swinging it open into darkness. After a moment of hesitation I stepped into the black and waited for the automatic lights to come on.

* * *

At the top of the stairs I paused, to wipe my sweaty palms down the outside of my daysuit and re-adjust my bag. I had taken several packages of pain relievers, as well as muscle relaxing injections, before nerves got the better of me and I had found myself bolting for the storeroom door whilst stuffing the contraband into my bag.

_You need to calm down_.

If I walked out into the main entrance hall right now I would look crazy: my heartbeat was erratic and, even though I'd only run up a flight of stairs, I could barely breathe.

Leaning against the wall, I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe more slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth, I intoned silently. It didn't take long to calm down then, although I was still ridiculously excited with what I'd managed to pull off.

It's not over yet, I reminded myself.

"Let's go," I muttered, pushing away from the wall and opening the door. The entrance hall was completely empty this time, except for Olivia's friend – Kerry, I recalled – at the reception desk. I headed in that direction, fixing a smile on my face as I drew closer and she looked up from the viewing screen.

"Hi!" Kerry beamed as I drew up to the desk.

"Hello again."

"I was just speaking to Olivia – she couldn't believe you were back here so late."

I gave her a sheepish smile and a shrug. "It was a wasted journey, Mother had already left."

"That's too bad," her head tilted to the side, as if she was giving me sympathy for some terrible accident.

"Not to worry, I'll head home now and see her."

"OK."

"Oh – I found this on the floor in the corridor." I pulled the swipe card from my pocket and placed it on the reception counter.

Kerry picked it up and looked at it for a few moments, and I wasn't sure she realised what it was.

"It's a Medic pass," I prompted. "Someone must have dropped it – I found it on Level Seven."

"Oh, right. Thanks. I'll hand it in and we'll get it back to the right person."

"Great!" I smiled, genuinely now. Every piece of my plan had fallen into place. "Thanks for your help Kerry, it was nice meeting you."

"You too," she nodded. "I'll say hi to Olivia for you."

"Sure," I agreed, not really listening now. I was already thinking about getting the medicine to Cassie, and I left The Clinic in my own happy little haze.

I buzzed the door intercom at Cassie's apartment and waited. It was hard containing my excitement – I was feeling very proud of myself and wondered what Cassie would make of my present. It felt like I had waited ages, and was just about to press the panel again when the door slid open.

A slightly dishevelled looking Cassie stood in front of me. Her hair was wet, and looked darker than usual, hanging around her shoulders in thick lines. She had obviously showered and looked better for that, although I could see the lighter scratches on her face more now. I wondered if I had woken her up. She was wearing a long-sleeved sleepsuit and looked a little bleary eyed. I beamed at her.

"What are you doing here?"

It wasn't exactly the greeting I'd been hoping for, but it made me sure that I had just woken her up. After everything she'd been through today Cassie was more than entitled to be a bit grumpy – she was probably in agony with her shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm not staying," I promised, holding out my hand to show her the small capsule of pink tablets I'd brought from The Clinic. "I just brought you these, I thought they might help."

"Thanks," Cassie murmured, reaching out for the packet.

I was quite surprised when she didn't say anything else. Surely she recognised the tablets from our work at The Clinic? Wouldn't that seem strange to her? She didn't look at me again, and I wondered perhaps whether my gift had scared her. What if she had recognised them and was worried about what I'd done to get them?

This wasn't how I'd planned it at all. I was hoping Cassie might have hugged me or done something so that I might have been able to give her the muscle relaxant injection I'd brought for her.

Sneak injection?

At first I couldn't believe I'd even thought it, but in the next instant I'd already convinced myself it was exactly the right thing to do. Judging by Cassie's reaction to the tablets she'd be even more concerned with how I'd managed to get a syringe and high-strength, opiate-based drugs.

Cassie wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing when I made my decision. I leaned in quickly, dipping beneath the damp curtain of hair she was trying to hide behind. If she was shocked by my sudden closeness, she was even more surprised when I pressed my lips to her cheek a second later. Thankfully, she didn't move and at that same moment I slid the thin needle into her shoulder and depressed the plunger.

Colour immediately appeared in two rosy spots on Cassie cheeks and I could almost feel the heat coming from her skin. "I'll see you tomorrow," I whispered, leaning into her body for one brief – but fantastic second. My lips were so close to her ear I could have kissed it too, and her neck and...

Not today, I told myself firmly and snapped away, taking the empty syringe with me, unnoticed. An apartment corridor had never felt so long, as I ran away from Cassie.

You kissed her!

I don't think I'd ever heard my mind scream before – certainly not in that excited, slightly feminine tone, at least. Yes, I'd kissed Cassie; but I'd also injected her with drugs without her knowing. It was for her own good, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't see it that way if she ever found out.

I turned as I reached the staircase, wondering if Cassie might actually be angry with my unexpected show of affection, deceitful as it was. The expression on her face – a giddy grin – suggested that she was anything but annoyed. When she got caught watching me her face flamed brighter red than it had when I kissed her. I couldn't help but grin myself, and feeling suddenly brave shouted out to her. "You didn't say goodbye."

Cassie bit her lip and I knew she was trying not to giggle. Sucking in a deep breath, she held my gaze as she called back. "Goodbye Balik!"

I smiled to myself as I dropped out of sight into the staircase. She might have tried to show me otherwise, but I _knew_ my kiss had had an effect on Cassie.

* * *

Leaving Cassie was almost unbearable. I turned back on myself several times in the moments after I'd left, thinking I would go back and check on her. I must have looked mad, spinning in small circles every few paces.

Of course Cassie's not alright – you idiot! You almost got her killed!

Yeah – the judgmental inner monologue didn't do much to make me feel sane either. Inwardly and outwardly crazy, that was me! What would you expect from a guy who spent more time talking to himself, than other people?

I shook my head trying to unsettle the images that were weighing on me. Over and over I saw Cassie's terrified features as she fell, morphing into the death-like mask that had fallen over her features while she was unconscious. Eventually, the pictures faded and I was able to move on.

After the excitement of my trip to The Clinic and interesting – but brief – meeting with Cassie, I just didn't have the heart to go home. I was finding it harder than ever to deal with uncomfortable silences that punctuated my interactions with my parents, and I hoped that if I took my time going back I might avoid seeing them at all. It felt like my aversion to them was becoming more pronounced, because every minute I spent with Cassie made me feel more alive than I had in years. I smiled as I pictured her embarrassed, grinning face and headed in the direction of Park 23.

Although I disliked seeing the animals in captivity, I couldn't help but enjoy seeing the animals themselves. The sanctuary at Park 23 had the largest collection in the Family Quarter. In fairness, the enclosures were large and beautifully designed: they replicated the natural environments the creatures would have lived in on Earth in tremendous detail, from waterfalls and authentic flora to heat regulated areas creating the perfect humidity and temperatures. Whether the animals had lived in arid deserts, murky swamps or frozen wastelands – it was all here, perfectly and beautifully preserved for us to observe. It would have been amazing to see them wild and free as I imagined them on Earth, but this was all we had, so I always made the most of it.

Despite being the largest collection in the Family Quarter, the animal section in Park 23 was not huge and so I found myself looping around the same enclosures as I wandered aimlessly. Well, I wasn't completely aimless – my objective was to avoid going home and so I was achieving that!

I circled my favourite areas more frequently, although I saw everything at least three times during my visit. The arctic enclosure with its large clear fronted cases was one of the best, combining caves, ice hills and water spaces for the mixture of seals and penguins that lived inside. The smaller rainforest cases were also interesting. Each one holding a number of small animals, some brightly coloured standing out from the dense foliage, whilst others cleverly camouflaged themselves within the leaves.

It would have been nice to see bigger species of animals in the park, but I knew that some were considered too dangerous to live in captivity within the Family Quarter. How they imagined the animals might escape, when my fellow humans seemed happy living in captivity themselves, was beyond me. But like many things on the Space Station Hope: it was for our own good.

The phrase reminded me of my own decision earlier, to do something to someone without permission. _For her own good._ Despite my loathing of being manipulated by the systems we lived within, I couldn't actually bring myself to feel too bad about what I'd done to Cassie. I had helped her, when she might not have let me if I had told her the truth.

_Perhaps that was how Council leaders felt, in a very small way?_ I ignored the errant thought that was asking for sympathy for liars. What I had done was different. I was nothing like them.

Cassie's face rose in my mind, and for once I didn't try to pretend it hadn't. I was on my way out of the park and heading back towards the Green Zone. The avenues were completely empty now. The artificial daytime was long gone, as the mirrors high in the ceiling had rotated away from the light of the sun, and allowed the darkness to take hold.

As I walked, I mulled over the developments of the last few weeks. My mind rolled swiftly from giddy reminiscing over time spent with Cassie, to berating myself for the lack of work I'd done on my plans for getting out of the Family Quarter on my own terms. As usual, I came to no decision and was probably more confused than ever. When had things become so complicated?

I walked deeper into the residential Green Zone, leaving behind the open spaces of the parklands and plazas. Light shone from the entrances of the apartment buildings I passed by, and detouring via Cassie's street was a tempting thought. I wouldn't call in, just see if her bedroom light was out, which would mean she was comfortable and sleeping... _Yeah, right!_ It was such a lame idea I couldn't even convince myself of the lie. Anyway, I had no doubt about the effectiveness of the drugs I'd given her. Even if Cassie hadn't taken any of the pills, I was confident the injection would have helped with the pain from her shoulder, enough that she could sleep.

My obsessing about Cassie answered one question, at least. I wouldn't be getting out of the Family Quarter any time soon: not if it meant leaving her behind. Maybe she would come with me, even though it could be dangerous for both of us. There was another option: we could leave for the Married Quarter as was expected of us.

I shook my head, dismissing the idea before it had fully formed. After everything I had seen and found out, there was no way I was leaving on anyone's terms but my own. That meant the only option I really had was to work the issues out, hopefully, with Cassie's help.

Turning away from Cassie's avenue, I aimed for my own home. Lights shone from the surrounding apartments and I could hear occasional voices and music from the viewing screens inside. As it was late, these were few and far between now, and so there was little to distract me as I wandered.

Even in the dim artificial twilight, I could see relatively easily. The pale plastic resin of the pavements and apartments reflected what little light there was, and I became intrigued by thoughts of what I could get up to on empty, dim streets...

"Hey Balik!"

I was passing through the main junction at the centre of the Green Zone when I heard my name shouted. The voice was unfamiliar, deep like a man's, and I might have worried it was a Councillor or someone of authority challenging my motives for wandering around after normal hours, except that adults never used words like "hey".

Glancing around, I finally made out a figure walking towards me, emerging from the shadows of Green Zone, Avenue 2. As he reached the junction I recognised Patrick from my year at school. His hand rose in a casual wave and I paused to wait, even though we'd never really spoken much before. I wondered what he wanted, why he didn't just ignore me as usual.

"Hey," Patrick said again as he reached me.

"Hey," I echoed.

"Where are you heading at this ridiculous hour?"

I wasn't expecting such a direct question. Did Patrick suspect I was up to something? Obviously I had been, but I didn't want him to know that...

When I didn't respond one of his eyebrows quirked upward quizzically. It made me realise I was still only capable of being a conversational human around Cassie, and not other people.

I cleared my throat. "I'm heading home. I was just – " My voice faltered – what came next? I was just what...delivering stolen medicine to Cassie? Or should I tell him that I was just debating taking a night-time wander around the Family Quarter to see what I could find out with my access codes and wristband that stopped my mark being tracked...? Not good answers. "I was – "

"Just at Cassie's. I know."

Patrick very helpfully finished my sentence for me, adding an odd grin to his words. He wasn't completely right, but it meant I didn't actually have to answer. My relief was quickly replaced by confusion. "That's right – but how did you know?"

"The girls. They talk _a lot_."

_Girls?_ I didn't have to ask – Patrick was speaking already.

"I've been at Ami's tonight – until her parents kicked me out so that I can _get a good night's sleep_ , ready for another exciting day at my placement tomorrow. Apparently, my parents were also interested in me being home early tonight – not that they usually bother."

Patrick was very animated when he spoke. He made little quotes with his fingers in the air when he repeated the advice he'd been given, then rolled his eyes and pretended to yawn when he mentioned being at his placement, before shrugging dismissively when he spoke about his parents. Perhaps Cassie's shrugs and grimaces, which she used a lot, were a watered down version of Patrick's – or more likely Ami's – company.

I realised Patrick's response didn't actually answer my question, although I guessed from what he'd said: Cassie was talking to her friends about me.

Patrick didn't seem to have a problem talking to me, so I assumed that Cassie hadn't told them about the accident, stolen drugs, or potential mind reading... When you looked at it like that, today had been quite busy. And as yet, Cassie hadn't run away screaming. That had to be a good sign.

Speculation was fine, but it would be better to know _exactly_ how Patrick knew where I'd been. Whenever we were together, I found myself sharing secrets with Cassie I'd never revealed before. I had to make sure she wasn't repeating them to anyone else.

"Ami spoke to Cassie while you were there?" I guessed.

"Yeah, they were chatting when I turned up – maybe a couple of hours ago now. Ami got all wound up because she found out about you and Cassie spending time together."

"We're on the same placement rotation." I offered matter-of-factly.

"I know – but you're not partnered up are you?"

I shook my head. _How did he know all this?_ "Well, no – but there's a lot of studying to be done..."

"Sure," Patrick snorted softly. "My friend Joel's on your rotation. He's _always_ studying. I think he'd just like to have someone to study with, like you do."

My mouth ran dry. This stranger – who I'd known all my life – seemed to know more about my personal life than I did. _How was it possible that I could stay so well hidden, but be so obvious to people who paid me no attention, at the same time?_

"I, erm, well – "

"Oh right," Patrick drawled, grinning again at my stammering. "I see how it is." He laughed and shook his head. "Don't look so nervous – from what I heard Cassie's into you too, which is definitely a first for her. Ami nearly bust a gut tonight on the call when it came out."

"Cassie said that?" I was a little incredulous that someone who seemed almost as private as me would reveal things like that, when she'd never actually said it to me. Or perhaps that's what friends were actually for – sharing your secrets. That idea made me feel a bit sad for myself, if I was honest.

"Yes she did." Patrick smiled at me now, a genuine-seeming, conspiratorial smile. "C'mon – let's walk – you live on my street don't you?" It was not a question that required an answer. "Let's walk and talk."

"Sure," I agreed, falling into step beside Patrick. "So, how's your placement going?" It was a good way to direct the conversation away from myself. Although, as soon as the words left my mouth I realised that I didn't actually know what kind of placement Patrick had been put on.

"Pretty boring to be honest. I'm in the animal-handling phase at the moment, which I'd been looking forward to originally. Anything has to be better than germinating seeds and making irrigation plans!"

OK – so he was on an agricultural placement.

"Is it not what you expected?"

"You could say that," Patrick replied, with a vigorous nod. "You would think the animal-handling would actually have something to do with animals, but most of what I've been doing is taking cell samples for growing meat."

"Growing meat?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"I know, bizarre isn't it? I had no idea until I started this rotation. Eighty percent of the meat you eat on the station is grown in special labs: it's not actually from animals. Only fish are reared and farmed authentically."

"What do you mean _grown_?"

I'd never looked into food production on the station; discounting it as a route of examination that might hold any answers to the issues I had. Now that I had an opportunity to learn something new, I found myself intrigued.

"Basically, we maintain a number of domesticated animal species in the Quarter: some cattle and sheep breeds, goats and pigs. It's not many animals at all; just enough to keep them breeding for cell supply, we don't actually butcher them."

"So, what do you do?"

"Every day this week I've been on the harvesting run; so I've basically been taking the biopsies from the animals. Once you have them, they go forward to the lab for growth."

Patrick was talking with his hands again, outlining large shapes of animals and mimicking the movement of taking the samples. Or so I guessed. Having caught my interest, I had lots of questions now, and he seemed happy enough to answer them as we walked.

"In the lab they take cells from the biopsies?"

Patrick nodded. "They pull out the myosatellite cells – you can get thousands of samples from each animal, with very little impact on them – then a growth serum is added."

"To make the cells multiply," I added for myself.

"Yeah, something like that." Patrick shrugged. "I'm not looking forward to the next rotation I've got – I'll actually be covering roles on the growth side of things then."

"What does that involve?"

"From what I've heard from the guys who've already done it, you end up building scaffolds for the cells to grow on, to form muscle strips. On the more established strips you have to zap 'em with electricity to exercise the muscle and boost the protein content."

I nodded at his words, understanding exactly how that would work. "What happens to the muscle after that – we can't eat it in that form, it would be too tough?"

"That side of things sits with the catering divisions and not agriculture, but I guess it gets ground up and has vitamins and stuff added. That's why we have blended meats in our food and not bigger single pieces like you do with fish."

"Wow," I managed, unable to hide my surprise at what I'd just learned.

"I know, right! It's enough to put you off eating meat at all. Not that we'd be allowed to cut it out of our diet."

It wasn't what I'd meant, but I nodded anyway. Oddly enough, from this short conversation, I had a feeling that Patrick and I had a lot more in common than I'd ever expected. Maybe my peers saw more than I had ever given them credit for.

"This is me," Patrick announced as we slowed outside the apartment building next door to my own. "Maybe I'll see you around this weekend, if you're out with Cassie?"

Not knowing how to answer, I half-nodded, half-shrugged. I must have looked acceptably non-committal as Patrick nodded and grinned in response.

"Have fun _studying_ at The Clinic tomorrow," Patrick said as he headed toward the door.

"You too," I replied. "Have fun electrocuting cow muscles."

Patrick laughed loudly and disappeared inside the building. I turned on the pavement and walked the last few metres to my own block. It had been a random but pleasant encounter, and it made me wonder whether there had been a lot of things in life I'd been hiding from whilst I searched for answers.

_Beep_. _Swoosh_. Our apartment door opened after I presented my mark.

"Night Mother, Father." I called out as I wandered into my bedroom. I barely heard their soft response and neither came to speak with me. Not that I expected they would.

I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling, not bothering with the light. My mind was too busy, and simultaneously too tired, with everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. I fell asleep in just a few seconds.

### Chapter 11

Today was going to be a good day. I just knew it.

I should have been exhausted: I'd spent much of the night lying wide awake in bed thinking about Cassie, wondering about ways I could continue with my original plan to leave the Family Quarter _and_ stay with her. Needless to say, I'd not come to a final conclusion, but something along the lines of sneaking out and back in before she could miss me was certainly an appealing idea at this stage. When my daily alarm beeped into action at 5.00am, I bounced eagerly from my bed as though I'd slept for a refreshing eight hours, rather than the two or three hours I think I'd actually had.

The more time I spent with Cassie, the more I knew that what I was feeling was not one-sided. I grinned as I thought this (again!), crunching hard on the end of my toothbrush, because I was brushing my teeth at the time.

This whole experience was quite odd for me. I had to admit, my old irritations with the station were still there, and the questions I had still burned inside my head. But, I just couldn't be angry about it. Cassie was filling up my mind more than ever and it made me...happy.

It was 5.30am. The mirrors had begun a gradual rotation thirty minutes earlier, but it was so slow at this time of the morning, that most people on the station believed that _dawn_ started at 6.00am. As I left the Green Zone, I noticed a couple of other early risers. It was an easy guess that they were heading towards jobs in the agricultural area: they all wore the same forest-green day suits.

I studied the figures, wondering whether Patrick might be with them. But none of them seemed to have his particularly, cheerful lope. Maybe he'd accidentally managed to sleep-in after his late night.

A small grin turned my lips upwards. Perhaps I would be tucked up in bed right now, if I didn't have a plan in my head and a 'borrowed' swipe card in my pocket. With a bounce in my step, I headed towards the central zone and The Clinic.

* * *

The large canteen opposite The Clinic was virtually empty as I sauntered casually through the door. Who would have thought from my calm and collected exterior I'd just been stealing restricted medication? Perhaps there _was_ something wrong with me...a psychological flaw that made me not feel guilty about doing something I knew was highly dubious... I shrugged and smiled to myself. I most definitely didn't care about breaking rules at this point in time, but that wasn't a huge change for me. What _was_ new was my motivation for doing it: it wasn't about finding out how something worked, I simply wanted to help Cassie.

Who would have thought that being the crazy person would have benefits?

Heading towards the servery, I was about to get breakfast – with my multi-vitamin complex, of course – when I glimpsed Cassie sitting alone at a table in the corner of the canteen. She was as far away from the entrance as it was possible to be, as though she was trying to hide in plain sight.

"Hey!" I called across to her. My breakfast plans entirely forgotten.

Cassie's gaze jerked towards my voice and even though I could see from this distance that she looked tired, when she saw me, the most wonderful smile spread across her face. With an explosion of excited nerves wriggling inside my stomach, I began weaving through the empty tables making my way towards her. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I moved.

"What are you doing here so early?" I asked, as I arrived at Cassie's table.

When she turned in my direction I realised just how tired she looked. Beautiful as ever, but...drained. I felt my previous happiness deflate in my chest. "You look tired," I said.

"I'm fine," Cassie shrugged off my observation.

I knew that "I'm fine" should be translated to mean: _yes I am, but don't focus attention on me, please._ Her gaze fell away from mine and she turned towards the canteen serving area, as though she had suddenly become very interested in food.

Without waiting for an invitation, I pulled out the nearest chair and sat down, we were not quite facing one another. "Was your shoulder hurting? Is that why you've not slept?" I didn't mean to sound as cross as I did, but Cassie could be so infuriatingly dismissive.

"No, my shoulder's fine."

My head tipped to the side, eyebrows quirking at her obvious denial.

"Alright!" She huffed. "It was hurting quite a bit, but felt much better after I'd taken some of the tablets you brought for me."

I didn't hear a _thank you_ in her grumbling.

"And once I'd found a comfortable position I was able to get some sleep. Are you happy now?"

Her words made me frown: how could she think it would make me happy? "No, not happy. I know you're trying to make me feel better, but I can see you've barely slept. You should have let me take you to The Clinic straight away." My words faltered, and I corrected myself. " _I_ should have just taken you, and not let you persuade me to do what we did."

"Hey!" Cassie reached across the table and wrapped her fingers around my arm. "You did the right thing and I wouldn't have _let_ you do anything else than what we did."

I couldn't look at her. Right now I was too angry with myself. I had been so caught up with feeling clever about sneaking around The Clinic and beating the systems, I hadn't stopped to think about the damage this could be doing to someone I supposedly cared about.

Squeezing my arm with warm fingers, Cassie made me glance up. "My shoulder is fixed now. It will just take a few days for the swelling to come down that's all." A soft smile lifted her cheeks, as she promised me there was _no lasting damage._

I shook my head, mainly at myself. "That's not true. When you've had a dislocated shoulder once you're more likely to suffer a similar injury in the future due to damage caused to the joint during dislocation."

"Fine," Cassie snapped back, eyes rolling at my stubbornness. "There may be some minor lasting damage, but once the accident happened we did everything they would have done in The Clinic if we'd gone there –"

"Except for scans and heat therapy and anaesthetic..." I couldn't help myself, although the real fire had gone out of my argument. Cassie was probably right anyway, I couldn't turn back time, could I?

Cassie ignored my interruption. "Now I'm feeling pretty good overall."

"OK, OK, you win!" I smiled. But, when my eyes met hers, I saw how tired she looked again. "So, if your shoulder wasn't bothering you so much – as you say – then why do you look so tired this morning?"

"Is that a tactless way of saying I look bad?"

Cassie was teasing me, but I wasn't ready to brush this off just yet. "No. It's a concerned friend's way of saying they are worried about why you might not be sleeping. That is, if you're adamant it's not because of your shoulder..."

"It isn't my shoulder."

"What is it, then?"

Cassie's lips parted, as if she might answer. But, then her stomach gurgled loudly, interrupting whatever she had been about to say. She gave a little, self-conscious giggle.

"Have you eaten yet?" she asked.

I could tell she was forcing at least some of the brightness into her voice, if not all of it. But, I also knew she was doing it for me – to ease my guilt about her getting hurt – and so I let it go. I hadn't eaten, and so I answered honestly. "No."

"Me either and we'll have to leave for placement soon, so I could really do with getting something now. But, you know, with my arm, I don't know if I can carry the tray..."

"Ha! Nice try!" I laughed. She was the worse actress ever, with the tiny shoulder shrug, elbow waggling and comic grimacing. "How about this: I'll pretend that wasn't the worse diversion I've ever heard, and will get you some breakfast." Cassie grinned at me as I pushed my chair back, she could sense victory in the air. Unfortunately for Cassie, it wasn't going to be _her_ victory. "After all," I continued. "I am a gentleman, and wouldn't want to see you suffer. If it makes you feel any better, you can pretend that I'm going to forget about this." I was on my feet now and staring down into her face. "But, I'll make you tell me later. Even if I have to dangle you from a cliff to get it out of you!"

Cassie stuck her tongue out at me, but I could tell from the set of her jaw that she knew I meant what I said. And she didn't like it. Turning away from the table, I began weaving through the empty chairs in the direction of the service line. Whether she liked it or not, I wouldn't stand by and watch her suffer – whether I was the cause or not.

I was at the counter for a matter of two minutes. No time at all, but somehow it was enough for Joel to appear! When I turned back towards the table he was there: long limbs dangled all over, the chair barely big enough to contain him.

I let out an irritated breath, before adjusting my features into a relaxed smile. "Give the girl some room," I muttered. It was hard to ignore Joel's arm thrown casually across the back of Cassie's chair, bringing him closer to her.

Was it really necessary to sit that close at breakfast?

I had double standards, I know, but I couldn't help it. Cassie was smirking at whatever he was saying to her just then, and it made my insides burn. A second later Cassie pointed towards me, and I busied myself with gathering utensils to go with our meals, so that I didn't have to look at them.

Fully stocked up on knives, forks and napkins, I began my journey back to the table. I was obviously living by the motto that you can never have too many napkins today: in my haste I'd managed to take a pile that was almost as high as my water tumbler. Excellent.

Cassie smiled warmly at me as I drew closer. I managed a brief lip twitch.

"Hi Joel. You're up early." I set the trays on the table as I spoke. It was good to have something to do, and dropping them on Joel's head wasn't a viable option, even if it was inviting.

"Hey, you too! I'm just going to grab some food before it all goes." His long arm waved towards the empty seats around us, to reinforce the joking sarcasm.

I just nodded.

Untangling his limbs from beneath the table, he bounded off towards the serving area; providing us with the unnecessary announcement of "I'm starving!" as he went.

Cassie sighed just after he left. I was just taking my seat at the time.

"Do you miss Joel that much?" I didn't mean to pounce on her, but I couldn't help it. I felt angry and resentful, for no real reason other than that I didn't want Joel to be there. I didn't want him making Cassie laugh and smile. I just wanted it to be us. And now she sounded like she wanted him around, and not me.

Paranoid much?

Internal sarcasm was no help either.

"Are you teasing me?" Cassie asked sounding bemused.

I was immediately sorry for what I'd said, but also unable to pull my emotions back completely. I still sounded testy when I replied. "Yes, I'm kidding."

Avoiding Cassie's enquiring gaze, I became very interested in my cutlery. _Maybe I could present her with some of my many napkins, as a peace offering?_

"I was sighing because I was thinking about spending another day at The Clinic," she said, picking up her own utensils.

Her voice was soft, and sounded tired. _That_ made me feel much better about behaving like a jerk.

"Oh," I replied, going with the most charming and engaging answer I could think of. If I could have kicked myself at that moment in time I would have, but my legs just weren't long enough.

Joel's pretty tall – I bet he can kick himself.

So, now I had to feel inferior about my height?

Cassie's voice interrupted my deranged musings. "Do you know where you are today?"

"I'm not sure." I replied, snatching a quick glance at her, before looking back at my food. She didn't look angry – maybe she was getting used to ignoring me when I was stupid. "They mentioned something about a change to the rotation yesterday, but I wasn't sure what they were referring to. I suppose we'll find out soon enough won't we."

"Yep."

Cassie nodded along with my words. That was when I connected her earlier sighs and comment about _a day at The Clinic_. I leaned my fork on the side of the plate and turned my full attention on her now. "Are you not looking forward to today?"

Cassie looked up, her eyes locking on mine. It made everything a little fuzzy, if I'm honest. It was hard not to get lost in her gaze when she looked at me like that. It was as if she only saw me – that everything around us ceased to exist in that one moment – it was just us.

She cleared her throat quietly, and it broke the spell. "Why would you think that?"

"You said you were sighing at the thought of going to The Clinic today. For most normal people, that is not a good sign."

"Oh, that..." She nodded at my reminder of her own words. "I'm just tired and a bit stiff: ignore me, I'm being grumpy. Sorry."

"Hey," I reached across to touch her hand, demanding that she look at me again. "You don't have to apologise to me." I told her, adding silently that I was the one who should be apologising. The only person who had been unnecessarily grumpy that morning was me; I was an idiot. I sighed, frustrated with myself, as usual. "I'm just sorry that you're in pain, I wish I could do something about it."

"Thanks. More drugs would be good," she joked.

I could have kicked myself. Again. But, I'd already analysed why that wasn't possible, hadn't I? I wasn't just an idiot; I was the biggest idiot. After all the effort I had gone to this morning to get more tablets, I couldn't believe I'd neglected to actually give them to the person that needed them!

In my bag I'd hidden a pretty big stash of the tablets, along with some other interesting stuff I'd found in the storeroom and thought it might be helpful to have to hand in the future. After a quick jog to Park 42 to bury most of what I'd taken, I had held back a full packet for Cassie this morning. It should be enough to last her a couple of days.

"Already sorted," I grinned. Releasing her hand I delved into my pocket, producing a full packet of the painkillers a moment later.

"Thanks."

Smiling gratefully, Cassie immediately popped two pills from the wrapper. She swallowed them both with a single gulp of breakfast juice.

"No problem." I guessed she hadn't taken anything that morning, from the speed with which she took the new tablets. "Just make sure your partner looks after you today," I nodded towards Joel as he sauntered back towards the table. "I don't want to find you've been doing anything stupid and not resting your shoulder as much as you can."

"Yes boss!"

Cassie suppressed a smile, ignoring my bossiness. I smiled back and squeezed her hand, before starting on my food again. "I'll wait for you outside The Clinic when you're finished for the day if you want?"

"Sure. Why not," she shrugged.

The casual gesture was completely at odds with the grin I could see tugging at Cassie's lips. She seemed happy at the prospect of spending time with me. I didn't want to say what I did next, but I couldn't help myself. Serious Balik was back.

"Good." I nodded, reaffirming myself. "I think another stroll in the park is called for and you can tell me why you were up all night."

Cassie's faced dropped, but Joel's reappearance at the table quashed any further discussion on the matter. Joel happily filled the silence with some cheerful chatter about one of his friends, and didn't appear to notice that Cassie and I stayed quiet. Before long, it was time to go.

We were inside The Clinic and at the orientation reception doors before I was really aware of it. My head was busy wondering what other reasons Cassie might have for not sleeping. I suspected it might have something to do with what had happened in the park after she blacked out. Despite her denials, I just _knew_ there was something more to the strange coincidence of her answering what I thought and not what I had said.

The door slid open automatically, and I stood aside the let Cassie pass through first. Joel paused, completing the very same movement. We were like a reflection of one another, with Cassie in the middle. It might have been comical, except for the look that passed between Joel and myself, when we realised what we were doing.

In that moment, I think Joel and I saw each other – _really_ saw each other – for the first time. Cassie ducked between us into the orientation reception. Our eyes moved slowly off one another, to stare instead at the girl in front of us. It wasn't jealousy exactly, that hollowed out my stomach. It was the realisation that Joel was looking at Cassie, the way I knew _I_ looked at her.

Cassie headed straight into the girl's room to change. Joel and I walked side-by-side across the reception to the male changing room, in an odd silence. Then there was an even worse, more uncomfortable moment, when we both moved to go through the single door at the same time.

"Sorry," we muttered simultaneously. It took a few attempts, and several seconds, for us to navigate the short distance into the room without bumping into one another again.

A clean, fresh clinic-suit was waiting on my peg as usual, once I made it inside. I noticed that it had long sleeves, but nothing more. I was more interested in dressing as quickly as possible and getting out, before Joel decided to engage me in conversation. I was still new to this stuff – what the hell would I say if he asked me outright what was going on with Cassie?

Not much really, Joel. I've kind of stalked Cassie over the last few years – in secret, obviously. But now her friends think she likes me, so that's worked out well. Except, I nearly got her killed yesterday. Oh, and when I was eight, I think I got my friend killed, but then she came back to life.

No. I had no answers for Joel. I didn't even have good ones for myself. I changed my clothes, in possibly the fastest time ever, and was back in the orientation reception mere seconds later. I took to counting the white resin tiles on the floor while I waited. They made nice square patterns when you looked at them in a slightly, squinty way.

"Hello again."

My heart leaped in my chest. But, not in the good way that normally happened when Cassie spoke to me. It was more like what I guessed a heart attack might feel like: all sharp pain and contracting muscles.

I was so caught up distracting myself with squares, I hadn't heard her approach and so I was caught completely off guard. Spinning on the spot, I turned towards the voice. As my eyes fell on her, my heart did one of the nicer contractions. Cassie looked lovely in white. I smiled. Then noticed a second later that the long sleeves of her suit were like mine, and helpfully covered up the bruising, cuts and goodness knows what else on her arms.

"You look better than you did last night," she offered.

"Right back at you," I replied. The compliment she'd paid me made me bolder and I moved closer, dropping my lips to her ear. "Although I was rather hoping you would need some help getting into your suit again..."

I stepped back in time to see her cheeks flush pink. It made me laugh. "That colour suits you, you know?" She blushed even more and I laughed again.

"Ah, speaking of colour. Do you remember the rainbow machine you made for that science fair when we were younger?"

My laughter cut off abruptly. _Where had this come from?_

I nodded. "I remember. What brought that to mind?"

"Something I saw in the changing room made me think of rainbows and it just popped into my head."

I tried to imagine what Cassie might have seen that was rainbow-like in their changing room, but couldn't. Surely the room was as white and bland as everywhere else in The Clinic?

Regardless of what had prompted Cassie's sudden interest in my school science project, it probably wasn't the best time to reveal my long-term interest in her. I wasn't about to admit that I'd built the rainbow maker purely to try and get her to talk to me.

"Oh. It never really worked that well," I shrugged one shoulder, throwing in a quick hair flick to generate the perfect picture of nonchalance. "There were some design kinks that I didn't iron out."

"I wish I'd seen it. I always wanted to see a real rainbow."

_I know_.

Cassie looked wistful, her eyes clouding a little and I thought she might be picturing herself somewhere else, away from the Space Station Hope, where real rainbows were possible.

"I wanted to see one ever since we learned about Earth's weather systems as children. But, I was too nervous to come over and have a look at what you had made when we were at the fair... how silly is that?"

_Very silly!_ Why would she be scared to speak to me, or look at my project? Then, I remembered a vague image of some sort of flying contraption that she'd made for the same fair. It had flopped to the ground on its inaugural flight and never recovered. Perhaps _that_ was the problem.

I shook my head, marvelling at how self-conscious someone like Cassie could be. There was no need for it, but for some reason, she didn't see that. "It's not silly." I told her, adding honestly: "it would have been nice if you'd seen it...even with its technical problems."

"You still won the fair," Cassie pointed out.

Her words convinced me even more that it was the failure of her work, and not the success of mine that had made her too nervous to even look at what I had made for her. "Sometimes it's about getting someone to see something differently, rather than winning." My words were loud enough for Cassie to hear, but I think they were more for me than her. I found myself wishing, once again, that I could work out how to tell Cassie the full truth: just enough, so that she could see what was happening around us. So that it wasn't just me.

Cassie obviously wanted to change the subject, because she went straight to generic small talk with her next question.

"So, what do you think you'll be doing today with Olivia?"

_Nothing, hopefully_.

I wasn't interested in making small talk, especially about Olivia, and so I shrugged and replied "who knows". In the moment after I'd done it, I realised I was definitely picking up on some of Cassie's more obvious traits. I'd heard that happened with friends, but hadn't had enough time with anyone to notice that before. It was interesting.

A wisp of hair sticking on Cassie's cheek distracted me. Without thinking, I reached out and caught the strands in my fingers, intending to tuck them behind her ear, where I guessed they were supposed to be. I paused as her hair caught the light. Bright, natural highlights appeared from within the normal brown colour as the light moved across the hairs. From a coppery-gold to a darker bronze-red, it was as if her hair had suddenly become metal in my fingers the moment I touched it. I moved the strands one way, and then another, tilting them to watch the colours merge and change. It was beautiful.

A flash of green caught my attention and I realised Cassie was staring at me. Quickly – and guiltily – I tucked the hairs into their proper place and offered her a swift smile of apology. Cassie stepped away from me, just as I heard the reception door slide open behind me. I guessed my stalker-scrutiny had freaked her out. _Well done, Balik_.

"Hi Balik! How are you this morning?"

Olivia suddenly appeared by my elbow, standing too close to me, and as loud as ever. I took a breath, potentially preparing to answer, but of course, this was Olivia, and so there was no need for my input to the conversation.

"I wonder what we're doing today? Did you have a nice afternoon yesterday when we finished early? I ended up at Park 14 with a group of people from school, you should have come too, you would have _loved_ it!"

Automatically I slipped into my usual role: nodding and offering smiles at regular intervals. It was easy enough to let Olivia's questions just wash over me.

"Hi Joel!"

Olivia's greeting brought my attention back to the group. Joel was ambling towards us, and nodded at Olivia's welcome.

"I saw you this morning from my bedroom window – where were you going at that time?" She demanded.

"Just running. Then, I saw Cassie and Balik at the canteen and we had breakfast together." Joel replied.

At the mention of my name, I looked across at him. I couldn't help but notice that Joel had chosen to stand opposite me, on Cassie's other side. She looked quite small sandwiched between us, especially as Joel towered a good four or five inches over my own head. Olivia passed between Cassie and I, moving towards the changing room when Medic Karlina appeared in the reception.

At first, I welcomed the silence following Olivia's brief appearance. Then I realised that with only Cassie, Joel and myself stood there, the silence was stretching from awkward to excrutiating at a rapid pace. For once I felt concerned about falling into an uncomfortable silence. Perhaps I didn't want Cassie to think I was rude...? Whatever the reason, in a move completely out of character, I started a conversation with Joel.

"So, you were out running this morning – anywhere nice?"

This single question was enough to start things going. After initially looking surprised by my interest, Joel fell into a comfortable recollection of where he'd been running and which parks he preferred for different reasons. I offered a few observations of my own and, before I knew it, everyone was back in the room.

Medic Karlina stepped forwards – making sure she had everyone's attention – and with a glance at her viewing screen started our daily briefing. "You've now completed six weeks of the placement with us here at The Clinic, and feedback on all of you has been generally positive so far."

Cassie sighed at my shoulder. I caught her gaze and flicked my eyes at her shoulder, asking silently if she was in pain. A slight shake of the head told me she wasn't, and we both turned our attention back to the Medic.

"To help you get a wider range of experience here we're going to reorganise you into new pairs for the next few days and see how well you can share the knowledge you've already picked up."

New pairs?

I snuck a hopeful peek at Cassie and found she was already looking at me. I stretched out my arm, showing off the long-sleeved suit that only Cassie and I were wearing. Surely, that meant we would be partnered together.

Reading from the viewing screen, Medic Karlina announced the new pairings. "Balik and Cassie will be working in research and records for the next few days."

She looked up at the group, not focusing on us directly, which made me think she didn't actually know who Cassie and I were. That was probably an even worse compliment than the _generally positive feedback_. It had been nearly two months and she spoke to us five days a week. How difficult was it to memorise a few names and faces?

Medic Karlina read out the next pairings swiftly, not that I was interested.

"Does anyone have any questions?" she asked.

Silence.

"Excellent, let's get going then."

She turned away from us and began tapping on her viewing screen again. It was obviously our cue to leave. Cassie and I nudged towards each other – sharing a brief grin – and waited for one of the Medics to identify themselves as our mentor for the new placement. We got Medic Jones, who I'd met a couple of times already. Without preamble he escorted us out of the reception.

I looked down at Cassie as we passed through the orientation reception doors and smiled to myself. Today was already turning out to be even better than I'd hoped.

### Chapter 12

I guessed that Cassie wasn't overly impressed with our new placement task. Just a hunch from the frequent sighs emanating from her side of the small room. It didn't bother me particularly. I had access to a viewing screen, and was running several basic research paths – as requested by our Medic – in the background. This morning I had much more important research of my own to do, and it wasn't something I would find reviewing health statistics of the inhabitants of the station. There was only one person's data I needed.

Everything was running perfectly on my two main screens, and I was just about to open up a new one for my own _research_ , when Cassie interrupted me. I was surprised. With her continual tapping on the keyboard, and lack of conversation, I had assumed she was in a studious mood.

"Balik – can you show me what you're doing?"

She sounded reluctant and irritated, an odd combination. I turned in my chair to face her and was about to ask _why_ , when she answered my unuttered thought.

"My searches keep coming back with nothing."

Nodding my head, I spun back around and wheeled along to make some space at the desk beside me. Cassie stepped closer, but hesitated, seeming nervous all of a sudden. There was no way she would be able to see from where she was, and so I tugged her closer.

I hadn't meant to pull too hard, but Cassie stumbled and half-fell into my lap before I could catch her. When she tried to get up, I put my hand on her waist to help, but then thought better of it and nudged her closer to me instead.

Swallowing the rocks that had suddenly appeared in my throat, I was about to ask her _is this OK_ , but I didn't want to sound nervous. Instead, I let bravado get the better of me. "So, do you have a question – or was this just an excuse to get closer to me?" It was so naff – and out of character – I couldn't help grinning.

Naturally, Cassie came right back at me with something better, calling my bluff when she replied in a cool voice. "I have questions. But, I can move somewhere else to run through them, if that's more comfortable for you?"

That shattered my illusions of appearing suave and confident. Maybe I should stick with being myself. "You're just about perfect where you are," I told her, adjusting my arm so that it encircled her waist more fully. This was the closest I'd ever been to Cassie – or any girl for that matter. Unless you counted yesterday's emergency examination, but it would probably be frowned upon to count that as even vaguely romantic.

Unfortunately, it didn't take me too long to show Cassie how to run the searches and ten minutes later she was back at her own terminal running some sequences. I could tell she was bored: she was fidgeting in her chair and bouncing her foot back and forth, heel glued to the floor, toes in the air.

I hadn't bothered trying to look at my own stuff following Cassie's interruption, just in case she wanted to see my screen again. And so I needed a new distraction. It didn't take long for me to find one.

"Cassie?"

"Yes."

"You know yesterday, when we were in the park?"

There was a pause. Then a cautious sounding "yes."

"Have you thought any more about what happened?" I sounded too hopeful and I knew it.

"Nothing happened."

"Oh. OK."

* * *

"What about now?" I was hoping for a different answer to the twelve previous times I'd asked the question.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Cassie hissed. "I CANNOT hear what you are thinking!"

"Maybe it's something to do with attunement?" I mused, ignoring Cassie's angry expression and staring at her head. Or maybe the key was not in conscious thought, but subconscious...

"Can you let it go?" Cassie turned away, focusing her attention back on her screens. "I feel like I'm some sort of experiment or research project for you!"

"Come on – I'm not that bad – I just want to see if you can do it again."

Cassie spun back around in her chair to face me, and I thought she was just going to tell me _again_ that nothing had happened. So, I was surprised when she actually said: "I'm dealing with it."

_Dealing with it?_ If that was the case, then it meant that there was something to _deal_ with, didn't it?

"It was just a strange coincidence," she added.

The two statements didn't add up. She was saying it was nothing but a coincidence, but also telling me that she was dealing with it. It couldn't be both. And, the fact that she was avoiding eye contact only made me believe it more. There was _something_.

"You've barely looked at your screen since we've been here." She admonished. "We'll not find anything to discuss in our research document if you don't at least try and focus – I don't want to fail this."

"Don't worry," I assured her. "Firstly, we can't fail as it isn't a test. Secondly, I don't need to focus to pull together observations on the data they've given us: I've already got five lines of investigation searching as we speak, with research hypotheses ready for each. And thirdly, _you_ are a much more interesting subject than any of the stuff we've got here."

She scowled in response. "Thanks for not making me feel like an experiment."

I tried not to laugh. She was very cute when she was angry, and it was quite distracting.

As I watched, Cassie pulled out an automatic discourse headset, and very deliberately pulled it on. I assumed this was to let me know that the conversation was over. I chuckled, then picked up my own headset and put it on, mimicking the extremely serious look on Cassie's face.

"So – can we try again?" I asked, when I caught her peeking back at me.

At first I thought she was wavering. Her face relaxed from the frown momentarily, and I took that as a good sign. But, she didn't answer me and the silence began to fill the small room, like an invisible, suffocating cloud.

Reluctantly, I turned back to my own screens, ignoring the data scrolling across them. All the joking had gone now. It just hurt that there was obviously something she knew about this, and that she was hiding it from me. How could anything be that bad, compared with what she knew about me?

" _Why are you hiding this from me?"_ I asked her silently, unable to say the words aloud.

"Look..." Cassie said, pausing and taking a breath. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hide anything from you. It's just this whole thing, with you believing that I can hear what you think...it's too strange. Implausible"

My heart stopped. I swear it did – just for a second, but it _did_ stop. I turned to stare and found myself looking at the back of Cassie's head. The headset was in position, above the cascade of dark hair, and her eyes were fixed on the screen in front of her. I couldn't have said a word then if my life had depended on it. Cassie was answering the question I had just asked myself, not her. But, the important thing was that it was _in my head_ – I hadn't said it out loud. If I were going to _say_ it, I probably would have worked harder to sound a little less hollow and despairing.

My heart re-started. Where my badgering had failed, it seemed straight forward honesty had succeeded. Albeit, honesty that I had not offered her through choice... Cassie was still talking, and I realised that I was getting exactly what I'd wished for. Cassie was revealing secrets about herself, to me, that I doubted she had ever told anyone before.

"I can't really understand it. And, more than anything, I don't want you thinking I'm some kind of freak." Cassie broke up her serious words with a soft scoff, and sounded lighter when she continued. "I promise, once I'm feeling a bit better we can experiment all you want. As long as you promise not to try and dissect me or anything."

I couldn't believe it. Whatever had happened the day before in the park, was happening again now! But this time Cassie was fully conscious, and appeared to be controlling whatever it was that made it possible for her to hear what was in my head, rather than what I said aloud. If I was allowed to experiment, as she had just said, then I might as well start now.

" _You promise?"_ I asked, letting the words hover inside my head; just as I had a moment before when I thought I was just talking to myself.

"I promise," she confirmed.

" _Can you look at me and say that again?"_ I asked internally. _"I want to see your eyes and make sure you're telling me the truth."_

"Fine," she grumbled, whirling in her seat to face me. "I promise that you can experiment all you want with me to see if I can hear what you're thinking."

" _Thanks – that's all I wanted to hear."_ I replied silently, and watched as Cassie's jaw dropped to the floor.

"I – just – heard – you – " she stammered,

"I know," I told her, pulling the headset off and speaking out loud again. I was unsure if it would scare her if I kept just thinking things at her. Cassie seemed almost as shocked as me, which was odd. A few moments earlier, I had been convinced that she knew what was going on and was just hiding it from me. _Is it possible she had been hiding it from herself, too?_

It would probably help if I explained what I thought happened. She just looked confused, and a little unwell if I were truthful.

"It started when you put the headset on – or when I put it on – I'm not sure which." I tilted my hand from side-to-side as I tried to work out what had happened first. I found I was confusing myself now, which wasn't a great start. I decided to try a different approach. "What was the first thing you heard?"

Cassie was still staring at me. Her eyes were half-glazed, as though she was just waking up and not completely aware of what was happening. I waited for her answer.

"You asked me why I was trying to hide this from you... You sounded a bit..."

_Upset?_ I didn't bother to say it when her words trailed off, although I guessed that was what she had heard in my head. Instead I muttered "I know," and then let the enthusiasm take over. "Try it again!"

Without seeming to consider what she was doing, Cassie did as I asked. Her eyes found mine and locked on. I tried to be as calm and focused as possible, hoping it might help her.

There we sat. I pushed words, thoughts, questions, at Cassie... Nothing happened. I waited and tried again. Her eyes remained on mine, but as more time passed there was only silence in the room.

"Nothing?" I asked eventually, although I already knew the answer.

"Nothing," she confirmed, sounding a little disappointed herself.

"OK."

Cassie still had her headset on, but I had taken mine off. We'd both been wearing them a few minutes earlier, and I wondered if perhaps that was the connection. I pulled the band around my head and settled it into place.

"What about now?"

Cassie re-focused on my eyes, just as she had last time. I stared back at her and waited, willing her to hear me. _"Come on...come on..."_ I pleaded, desperate for something to happen. Cassie gave a small nod. _"You can hear me?"_ I asked. She nodded again, giving me a small smile, as my own face split into a wide grin.

I was about to jump up and start bouncing around. This was huge! This was amazing – something I'd never heard of, or read about, or even dreamed it was possible for someone to do. Then, I checked myself, not wanting to break Cassie's concentration.

Maybe I should try something more difficult than words...? We'd come this far, after all. _"I wonder if..."_

I concentrated on building a picture in my head. I imagined one of my favourite parts in Park 42 and began filling in the details. The grasses, bushes and trees: all different shades of browns and greens. The dappled light coming through the overhanging branches, different to the usual flood of brightness from the mirror-sky.

As an afterthought I added Cassie and me to the scene. Working with things I had definitely daydreamed about before, I let Cassie see one of my own secrets. We were standing close together and I pictured wrapping my arm around her waist, just as I had earlier. In my head, Cassie's body moved easily into mine and I used my other hand to stroke across her cheek and turn her face to mine. I leaned in and –

"Hey!" Cassie exclaimed. "You can't do that!"

She sounded breathless, which made me smile. I grinned, but thought back at her: _"I think you'll find I just did."_

The door to the records suite slid open and Medic Jones entered. We both jumped at the intrusion and turned guilty-looking faces in his direction. It wasn't difficult for him to guess that we had been doing very little work. At least, not research that The Clinic would be happy about.

"I need some assistance in Records." Medic Jones was addressing me.

"Of course," I replied. Pushing back my chair I threw Cassie a look over my shoulder. "I'll see you later?"

Cassie agreed. "I'll meet you after I finish."

"OK," I pushed the image of the hill path in the park we had taken yesterday out to her. I half-wondered if she wouldn't understand, but hoped that she would. She nodded once without looking away from her screen, which I took to mean that she'd got my message.

Reaching up, I pulled the headset from around my ears and placed it carefully back into the holder beside the screen. Pointing my finger towards the streams of research that were still churning on the monitor, I was about to ask Medic Jones if I should leave the system on, but before I could speak he was already nodding at me to leave the program running. Shaking off my irritation at the Medic's brusque attitude, I stepped around him and through the opening, only to find myself stood waiting in the corridor whilst he stayed in the archive room.

"Did you need me to come as well Medic?" Cassie's voice drifted from inside the room. She'd obviously noticed him waiting around too. The only response was a slight shake of the head and then he was beside me.

Pointing a single finger along the corridor, he silently indicated the route we were to take, before turning away and leading me off. Behind his back I shook my own head. _Adults could be so odd sometimes._

When we reached the new room – another small, research space – Medic Jones was swift to show me what needed doing before excusing himself. It was a simple analysis of blood types within the Family Quarter residents and current stock levels of donor blood. That was easy enough. I programmed in the parameters I needed to get the search report underway. Then, finding myself alone, I decided to begin some research of my own. There was even more reason to look at what Cassie's records showed now.

Using the spare terminal I logged in to the main population data system – using Father's administrator passcode – and pulled up my personal file. My morning waste sample analysis was in, showing heightened levels of testosterone and flagging a note for further investigation. With a couple of key strokes I returned the figures to the normal range, repeating the action I'd been taking several times a day since I discovered what was in my _vitamin_ tablets and stopped taking them.

Once my own data was looking perfectly normal – I also had to reduce my heart rate anomaly which registered on two scanners yesterday afternoon as Cassie and I had walked back from Park 42 – I turned my attention to Cassie's records. At first I was intending only to check that her body scan results had shown nothing problematic after yesterday's accident. But, once I was inside her profile, I couldn't help but look further.

The first thing I noticed was that Cassie's vitamin supplement had recently been adjusted. Until the time we started the placement it had included a small amount of lithium. The only purpose for lithium I was aware of was as a mood suppressant, which was troubling; but then, two days after we finished school, this element had been removed. It was replaced with small doses of dopamine and norepinephrine, alongside a standard vitamin complex.

Flicking further back in her records, I noted that Cassie had a lithium component to her daily vitamins virtually every day. The dose had been steadily reducing over the past six months, until it was removed as we started the placement at The Clinic.

I made a mental note to go back and check our classmate's records. It would be interesting to see if the lithium was just something Cassie had been given, or whether others were affected. It would certainly explain their lack of interest in the problems I found with the Family Quarter.

From my previous research, which I'd taken back several years, I did not recall lithium being added to my supplement. The Council's main interest in my health profile appeared to be testosterone levels: I'd noted a fluctuating pattern of adding the hormone, and then counteracting it with doses of oestrogen. My chart read as if two people were fighting over my tablets, without knowing the other was doing anything.

I was ready to look at something else, my finger hovering over the _close_ command for that page. Then a single entry from a few weeks ago caught my attention.

Cassie had received an additional injected vitamin on the morning of our last school examination, for iron deficiency. It reminded me that I'd received exactly the same shot that day. I remembered being pulled aside, with Cassie and two other boys from our class after initial registration at school, before we entered the examination room.

We were told that our recent blood tests – taken two days earlier – had shown low iron levels and we would need a concentrated supplement now. The remainder of our dose was to be managed through diet and had already been scheduled into our meal program. I recalled that a mountain of green vegetables had been added to my plate for the next five days.

Curious, I clicked on the link to open the chemical analysis of what Cassie had been given and a small pop-up appeared:

Supplement Composition: 50% liquid iron, 25% vitamin C, 10% pheromone-A, 5% pheromone-D, 5% testosterone-F, 5% serotonin

I frowned as I read the breakdown of the ingredients. That was not an iron injection; it was something else entirely. And, it had been given to me, and Cassie.

Why?

* * *

I rubbed a weary hand over my face. It was dripping with sweat and my hand came away wet. Normally, running through the combat and agility sequences I'd developed would make me feel calm and order my thoughts. But that was not happening today. I couldn't relax. There were too many thoughts churning away inside my head to allow me to unwind.

No one could understand this. No one.

Least of all me!

Just when I thought I could see a way of making things – anything – work with Cassie, something new got thrown in the way. Now, more than ever, I was questioning whether she was a tool in the system. If she was a tool, was I stupid enough to fall for it? Or was Cassie simply trapped in the same way as me...? It was possible we were both being manipulated.

CRACK.

The loud snapping sound of the tree branch, smashing beneath my fist, diverted my attention. I'd only been using it as a centre target to direct my sweeps against; I hadn't actually meant to break it. Perhaps I was angrier than I'd realised. I punched the tree trunk again, deliberately now, half-relishing the blunt pain inside my knuckles.

What right did they have to try and manipulate us?

Thump.

Surely we could have free choice in one area of our lives?

Thump.

Why did they need us to fall in love?

Thump.

My fists pounded into the narrow trunk, punctuating my questions. I only stopped when the burning in hands matched that in my head.

For a while, I simply stood, my arms hanging limp at my sides, while doubts and questions washed over me. Back and forth I ran everything through my mind, until finally it began to slow down and fell into a rational order. It started with the first day I'd spoken with Cassie.

Had I been affected by the injection we'd been given?

No. I didn't think so. Even without the pheromone boost we had both been given, I'd always been aware of Cassie. I didn't need chemicals to know that I liked her, although perhaps they helped me overcome my shyness that day...

What about Cassie?

I couldn't answer for her. I wasn't sure how quickly chemical pheromones would work, or the removal of the lithium mood inhibitor. However, the additional serotonin, dopamine and other junk that had been going into Cassie's daily supplement in the past few weeks would surely have some effect. Possibly even this intriguing new ability she had acquired...

It made me furious all over again, to even think that how I felt about Cassie might, for her, be merely based on chemicals that had been forced into her body. Just speculating that Cassie's affection for me lay in lies and deceit made a hollow, empty space open inside my chest.

I rolled my shoulders and shook out my arms, trying to loosen the knots that had formed. I didn't need to be this tense – it wasn't all bad. Even though it was probably wrong of me, I did feel better about the adjustments I'd made to Cassie's supplement. A few simple updates to her natural chemistry records had re-designated her daily tablets as a plain multi-vitamin complex. Nothing untoward and nothing hormonal would be going in there now: it was exactly the same as the one I was being given because my test levels were all within the safe range. Well, they were normal on the database, at least.

I grinned, feeling better enough to begin my exercises again. This time, I knew I was going to push myself properly and, in preparation, undid the front of my day suit and rolled it down until I was able to tie the sleeves around my waist. Satisfied with this, I ran through some light stretches to warm up my muscles and began my routine.

A slow mantra cycled in my mind as the precise fluid movements of the sequence drew me in. "Being human is natural; natural _is_ normal," I whispered, running through the movements over and over. It wasn't something I usually did and might have sounded like I was trying to convince myself, but I wasn't. This was just how I felt at that moment and was a truth I was sure of. Today, I trusted nature, in a way that I did not trust the world of the Space Station Hope.

### Chapter 13

A long while later, I realised I wasn't alone. The sensation of being watched by unseen eyes crawled up my bare spine, making the hairs at the base of my neck shiver. It was not an unpleasant feeling – quite the opposite, in fact – simply because I knew it was Cassie watching me. Without stopping, I began to search my surroundings trying to glimpse her before I spoke. At first there was nothing but the same grey-green blur of bushes and rock, but as I slowed my rotations I found the only obvious place she could be.

A large outcrop of rock hid most of Cassie's figure from view. As I continued to move I caught snippets of her: the right half of her face, one green eye following my body as I shifted around. Another flash of her face, this time I saw her lips twitching with the ghost of a smile, before I whirled on again.

Despite my fear that Cassie might have been influenced by the recent additions to her daily supplements, I couldn't help but want the way she looked at me to be real. For me, it _was_ real.

"I know you're there." I paused for a fraction of a second, before finishing the sequence with a high-spinning kick. When I landed I was in the perfect position to see Cassie's face as she reacted to my words. She ducked behind the rock for a split-second, before re-emerging almost immediately, guilty features blazing red. To avoid further embarrassment I feigned nonchalance and continued with my routine, circling and sweeping my arms around me in a series of gentle punches.

Pretending Cassie wasn't there quickly became difficult. Each time I spun my body around now, I found my eyes being drawn back to her. Simply seeing her standing there, watching me, filled me with a curious, nervous excitement that was hard to ignore.

"What _are_ you doing?" she eventually asked, breaking what had become a heavy silence.

Curiosity coloured her words and, with some relief, I was happy to note that she sounded intrigued and not scared. It was a bit of a gamble, trusting her with another of my secrets, but it felt natural all the same.

"Just...one...minute..." I replied, my words popping out around the deep breaths I was taking. The last few movements in the sequence flowed together, before I came to a complete stop and was able to re-focus my attention on Cassie.

"What was that?" Cassie repeated her question, prompting me to answer as I ambled across the clearing to where she stood.

"An experiment." I was deliberately vague. Right now I didn't want to talk about my secrets; I was interested in hers. Rinsing my mouth with fresh water, I stepped closer to her.

She swallowed thickly, her breath appearing to catch in her throat. It was nice to see that I could distract Cassie; it was normally the other way around.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I hoped the answer was _yes_.

She looked away from me. "I'm not nervous."

I laughed at her very unconvincing lie, before lowering my face and bringing us closer together. "How about now?"

"Nope."

Cassie's breath wafted across my lips as she spoke. All I could think about was putting my mouth onto hers and tasting her. "And now?" I whispered.

"Not even a little bit."

Cassie's eyes were half-closed, her breath shallow and soft. Everything told me that she wanted me to kiss her.

"That's good," I murmured. Closing my eyes, I pressed my lips onto hers.

I was so scared, but, happy at the same time. When Cassie kissed me back, her mouth opening to mine, all my fears vanished. There was nothing in my head – no questions, no anger, no tension – nothing, but Cassie. Winding my arm around her back, I pulled our bodies closer, and fell completely in love...

It was hard to pull away, but I had to let the poor girl breathe. _Or perhaps run!_ I laughed hollowly inside at my own joke. I really hoped she wouldn't run. The force around her was magnetic to me. Even now, when I wasn't touching her as much, the warmth of her breath on my lips immediately drew me back. With some effort I stayed still, but kept my arm locked around her.

Cassie's eyes remained closed and I watched her lips twitch minutely as though she was holding off a smile.

"I'm still not nervous," she said unexpectedly. Her voice was more breath than words. Then she opened her eyes, blinking up into my gaze.

"I'm glad!" I laughed, taking the opportunity to lean back a little further. She was still too distracting up close and personal. I stared at her now – even though she watched me too – with a confidence I could feel growing in every part of my body. My certainty stemmed from the realisation that Cassie liked me too. A lot. The expression on her face told me everything. I'd never seen her look so happy.

I couldn't help it: I laughed aloud at the sense of delight I felt. As if to confirm my thoughts, Cassie smiled up at me, her expression content. She stood, unmoving, between my arms.

Was this the right time for Cassie's present?

Probably...I just wouldn't tell her that I took the afternoon off to dig it out and make repairs, in the hope of impressing her. I cleared my throat. "I almost forgot..." _Yeah, right!_ "I've brought something for you."

My statement seemed to put Cassie on edge. Her gaze lost the softness it had held a moment earlier, and I could see that she was _really_ looking at me now.

"What is it?" Caution was evident in the grim expression that now clouded her features.

"Don't look so worried," I assured her. "I'm not going to subject you to invasive procedures or anything. You should see your face!"

She didn't seem to like that I found her funny, and she pulled a face at me.

"Come on," I encouraged, taking her hand and coaxing her to where I'd put the Rainbow Maker _._ She noticed the large black crate immediately.

"What is it?" She looked from the box, back to me, sounding less nervous now.

"It's the Rainbow Maker." I was unable to hide my smile as Cassie recognised it. The expression on her face was lovely. "I've repaired it – no more kinks – just for you."

"No!" She exclaimed, laughing happily. "Really? You've fixed it for me?"

"Yes, for _you_ , Cassie."

She'd moved in front of me to get closer to the box, but at these words she turned around. Her gaze weighed heavily on mine and I wondered – as usual – what she was thinking. She looked serious, but pleased at the same time. It was an unusual combination.

"Will you show me?" She asked.

Something inside me did a joyful little jump, as I heard the excitement in her voice. "I'd love to."

Stepping around Cassie I hurriedly setup the various elements of the Rainbow Maker. It was essentially a box with a water feed, a light point and a viewing slot – not massively technical, but what did you want from a ten year-old science project?

The original problem had been the positioning of the light, which hadn't been at the right angle. I'd seen the fault immediately today when I'd pulled the model out. When I glanced at Cassie and saw the excitement in her face, I finally understood why I'd kept it all this time. Part of me must have always hoped I would get the chance to show her this and I almost felt ten years old again, proud that my skills my impress a pretty girl.

It hadn't taken me long to make the adjustments, so that it would work properly. I added a _step_ shape to the top of the box, so that the light source was now recessed beneath and behind the viewing point, rather than immediately beneath as it had been on my original model. When I had set the water spray up and looked into it today, the rainbow was clearer and the colours more vivid than they had ever been. Better refraction. And perfect for Cassie.

After checking and double-checking the basic components were all working I moved aside to make space for Cassie.

"If you place your chin on here," I indicated the outside step above the newly positioned light source. Cassie dutifully knelt down and leaned onto the box where I'd pointed. "You'll need to press your eyes close to the viewing slot, so that no other light gets in. That'll give you the best results."

"OK," Cassie shuffled forwards. "Is this right?" Her voice became muffled as she pressed her face tight up to the viewer.

"That should be perfect. I'm just going to get this bit started..." I leaned over and switched on the small pump that would spray the water droplets into the air, at a right angle to where Cassie was viewing. There was a low hiss as it started to work. I let it run for a few seconds to ensure that there was a good arc of water flowing inside the box.

"Are you ready?" I asked, perhaps overdoing the drama a little.

"Um-huh," came the reply.

Reaching beneath Cassie, I switched the tiny lamp on, that was inside the box, and would produce the rainbow.

"Oh!" She exclaimed a second or so later. "I can see it!" She laughed.

"Is it clear?"

"Yes – really bright and clear. The colours are so beautiful." There was a definite smile in her voice; I couldn't see her face. Leaning against one of the nearby rocks, I settled back and watched Cassie as she watched the rainbows.

"It's perfect," she said.

_Perfect_. Yes, I think it is.

We were sitting on the grass, our knees touching as we faced each other. The Rainbow Maker lay over to one side, where we'd left it after the water in the pump ran dry. At that moment, I found it funny just watching Cassie. Her eyes were shining with an excited vitality I hadn't really seen in her before. She seemed so giddy, almost child-like.

"What?!" I asked, laughing. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm not staring." She disagreed immediately, but continued staring.

"Yes, you are."

"OK, so maybe I am." Cassie smiled at me, before glancing down to her hands. "I just – no one – I mean – "

"What?" I asked, interrupting her stuttering, placing my hand over hers.

Cassie took a deep breath and let it out. "Thank you," she smiled, looking me in the eye. "I was just trying to say thank you. For doing this, for me."

I felt the magnetic draw again, pulling me closer to her. This time I knew what I was doing, and didn't stall. Cassie's eyes closed slowly as my face drew into hers and I found her lips. "You're welcome," I murmured.

### Chapter 14

Cassie lay beside me. We were on the overhang, both flat on our backs. She had closed her eyes a few minutes earlier, but I could tell she wasn't snoozing. I waited and let random thoughts float around my head, as I stared at the whitey-blue ceiling-sky above us.

When we first dropped to the ground after messing around _fighting_ , Cassie's breathing had been loud and rapid. We'd certainly been going at it, pushing and pulling one another, testing out what worked and what didn't. When I showed her, I had hoped she would understand why I wanted to know how humans might have fought one another; I never expected her to want to try it out.

Cassie may have learnt something new today, but then, so had I. I'd never done this with a real person before, and understanding what differences the weight and movements of your opponents would make, was interesting.

Mirroring Cassie, I closed my eyes, blocking out the bright daylight and generating funny white shapes against the dark inside my eyelids. The shapes swirled and rolled around in the blackness, never forming a clear picture or anything sensible.

I sensed Cassie moving beside me and opened my eyes, turning in her direction as I did so.

"Hey," I was surprised to find her face mere inches from mine. The noise had been her rolling over.

"Hey," she echoed softly.

I watched Cassie, watching me, her eyes searching for mine. At first they didn't find them, because my eyes were busy, drinking in every aspect of her as she lay tilted towards me. The residual pink in her cheeks from exercise, made her green eyes even more vibrant than normal. She was looking up at me through her eyelashes, as if they might hide some of her intentions; but eyelashes were too thin a shield when we were this close to one another. I realised then, that Cassie was going to kiss me. My eyes found hers and something opened up between us. It was as if I was seeing something deeper inside her, than I ever had before. Without any words – forgetting what I knew about our _vitamins_ – I think what I was seeing in that moment, was that Cassie loved me.

Slowly, Cassie's face drew closer. Tiny freckles on her nose, merged into a creamy blur before my eyes as I waited, frozen in place. Slowly – so slow – the suspense was electric. I knew what it felt like to kiss her, but for Cassie to want me back, to be leaning into me now – that was something else altogether.

Finally, we touched. Her nose grazed along the side of mine, as our faces came together, and she paused a moment before our lips touched. The sliver of air in that tiny space prickled with static, before Cassie closed the gap and brought her mouth onto mine. As first she moved gently, but as my lips parted beneath hers, I felt her fingers winding into my hair and she pulled me closer, our bodies pressing into one another. Automatically, my arm circled around her hips, holding us together. It was a long while before I let go.

* * *

Cassie and I were lying facing one another. One of my arms still held her loosely, whilst the other was angled beneath my head as a pillow. We'd broken apart a few seconds before, and I was watching her face again – in super close-up – seeing tiny details I'd never noticed before.

At the centre of her eyes, just around the pupils, were tiny, yellow-gold flecks. Maybe you didn't see them normally, because it was dimmer inside the station buildings and so her pupils were more dilated. Even her eyelashes were different shades of brown, black and gold, when you saw them at this distance. Such detail, in such a tiny thing.

Cassie's lips looked soft and rosy, fuller from their recent activity. I smiled at that, before noticing that her cheeks had a different kind of warmth, from the earlier pinkiness of exercise.

"You're not bad at this."

Cassie chuckled, but didn't move away. "That's flattering, but a bit weird."

I laughed myself, realising what she meant, and that she had not been privy to the thought process, inside my head, that had got me to that observation. "I meant your fighting ability, not your kissing. Although, both are good."

Cassie tried to pull a face at my corny compliment, but could only smile at me. She wasn't quite as cool as she like to pretend she was.

"Thanks. You're not half-bad yourself," she said, then clarified a moment later. "I meant the fighting thing, obviously."

Obviously. Cassie rolled off my chest and snuggled in, to lie beside me.

"It must have taken you a long time to work these things out," she said, once she was re-settled.

"I suppose." I turned onto my side. Pulling Cassie's hand into mine, I stroked the soft skin on the side of her palm as I answered her unasked question. "I've learnt more in the last few weeks since starting at The Clinic, especially about strong parts of the body, that I would never have thought of using before, and weak points to target."

A shadow crossed her features, and I waited for words to explain whatever it was that had made her unhappy. They didn't come.

"You're drifting," I whispered into her ear. "Where have you gone to this time?"

Cassie tilted her hand out of mine and began twisting my fingers between hers instead. "I was just wondering, why you're always so interested in finding out how everything works."

"Why are you happy to go along with what you're told without stopping to wonder why it is that way, or whether it even makes sense?" I replied, mimicking her slightly dreamy tone of voice.

"Fair point." She pulled herself up to a sitting position. "But, can you tell me something that I've been told _and_ believe, that's actually incorrect?"

I didn't miss the defiant way her chin rose, as she issued me this challenge. Cassie only seemed half-serious, but the problem for me was that I had uncovered so many lies, there was almost too much to choose from.

In the end, I left it up to her. "You can take your pick," I offered.

"My pick from what...?"

_The long list of lies we're told about the world we live in_.

It was true, but maybe a little harsh. I decided to go with one of my more recent discoveries, as an example. It would test how much Cassie could actually question the way we lived, and maybe also give me the chance to show her one of my biggest secrets.

"How about this?" I paused for a moment, making sure Cassie was listening. "The viewing screens do more than transmit conversations and messages. They monitor us, as well."

"They do _what_?!" Cassie scoffed, rolling her eyes at the sky.

I frowned, turning away. "You think this is a joke!"

Maybe I should have expected her disbelief, even though it was Cassie who had asked me. Her reaction disappointed me – I wanted to share this with her.

"I'm sorry." Cassie apologised.

I felt her fingers on my shoulder, trying to get me to turn around. But, I couldn't move.

She tried again. "Tell me how...? Tell me how you know...?"

"You won't like it."

"Try me," she insisted.

I took a deep breath, and began again. "A few months ago I broke the viewing screen in my room. I was messing around, doing something like we've done today, and caught the edge of the screen with my fist, pushing it out of place – "

"How hard did you hit it?"

"Hard enough," I shrugged the question off. "Anyway, I was worried I'd get into trouble for breaking it. So, I got some of Father's tools from his office and undid the screen, with the intention of re-setting it in the frame. I hoped no one would be able to tell that anything had happened and I wouldn't get any hassle from my parents."

Cassie nodded for me to continue, not offering any further questions.

"When I pulled the screen out, I'll admit I didn't finish what I'd started off doing straight away. There were all sorts of wires and circuits in there, which distracted me and, well, you know me..."

"You had a dig around to see how it worked."

When Cassie finished my sentence, I couldn't help but smile at how well she knew me.

"So..." I continued, "I got some more tools out and dismantled the screen and speakers, making sure I remembered where everything went so that I could put it back together afterwards – "

"I can't believe you did that!" She looked over to me. "What would have happened if you couldn't get it back together?"

"I thought you said I was good at engineering?" I pouted and tried to sound offended. It was a good attempt, but I didn't really pull it off. Or, so I thought.

"Well you are – but you might not have been able to – "

Cassie was scrambling for words. She _had_ fallen for it, I realised with a smirk. She looked over at me and I quickly wiped the smile off my face, but it was too late. Cassie's sharp eyes re-focused on me with a glare.

"You didn't know you could put it back together!" She accused, smacking me lightly on the arm.

"Nope," I grinned. "But, I figured I'd just trash the screen beyond repair if that happened and say that I fell into it... Anyway, that's not the point. When I was working through the speaker components, alongside the coil that transmits the signal there are the receivers that act as a microphone. What was odd, was that there were two microphones, not one as you would expect."

"Two?" Cassie echoed.

I nodded.

"Could it be to give a better reception – pick up more from the room when transmitting?"

It was a good suggestion. "To be honest, I did wonder that myself at first when I saw them. Although, the microphones are so sensitive that shouldn't be necessary. Then, I wondered if it might have been a back up to the main microphone – to save any maintenance being done immediately, if one part failed."

Cassie jumped on the idea. "Maybe that's what it was,"

"Not really," I shook my head, wishing it could be that simple. "I followed the circuits they were fitted to. Only one ran into the standard communication system that operates throughout the space station."

"What was the other attached to?"

Cassie sounded intrigued. It was shame I didn't have a better answer for her.

"I don't know. All I could do was trace the connection back to its origin point. It was transmitting along a completely separate system...one I had never seen before."

"That _is_ odd," Cassie agreed, twisting her fingers absent-mindedly through the grass.

"That wasn't the only odd part. The second microphone was also on a different kind of switching system to the first one. It appeared to be automatically triggered by movement or sound, rather than the main manual controls of the viewing screen."

"Could it be a fault on the system? Connected into the station incorrectly or an earlier model or something...?"

I stared at her, impressed by how easily she had taken the information in her stride. How she immediately tried to work out _why_ something was, the way it was. She glanced up, aware of my scrutiny, warmth flushing her cheeks when her eyes met mine.

"That's one of the things I love about you," I smiled. "You're always looking for the alternative. Nothing's ever black and white –"

"I know – I'm sorry – I'm always asking a dozen questions when you're just trying to tell me something. It's a bad thing."

Why was she apologising?

"No, it's a good thing – a useful thing," I reassured her. "As much as I like to look into _how_ things work, it's the _why_ that usually frustrates me. You always seem to be able to look at things in a different way and come up with the why..."

Perhaps Cassie's alternative perspective would offer something I hadn't thought of, on this subject.

"So...what do you think the _why_ would be in this case? Why would there be a transmitter in every viewing screen that doesn't relate to the normal uses we have for them? And why would it automatically trigger on movement or sound within the space?"

Cassie didn't flinch under my barrage of questions, she just came right back at me.

"It's not every screen is it – you've only seen it in the one you broke haven't you – could it be a mistake?"

It was a rational suggestion and it would have been a sound place to start, except that Cassie had forgotten that she was speaking to me. As soon as she finished asking the question, she guessed what I had done.

"How many screens have you dismantled to check?" she demanded.

"A few," I admitted, trying to downplay, because Cassie looked quite shocked. But, then I laughed, suddenly angry with myself for lying to her.

What was the point?

I sighed, and told the truth. "Not a few; a lot."

Cassie frowned. "All of them have the second transmitter?"

"All of them," I confirmed.

"How did you even find that out? When did you get the chance to take apart any screens outside your apartment?"

"I told you before, my parents work long hours – just like yours."

"Still – how did you get into other places to take apart screens without anyone seeing you?"

I should have known she would have realised there were gaps in my story. Every gap was a secret, and I certainly had a lot of those. I gave myself a shake. If I was committed to telling her the truth, I might as well get on with it.

"I used this," I said, reaching into my trouser pocket and pulling out the wristband I always kept there. I held it out for Cassie to see.

For a few moments, she silently examined the band. Her gaze ran back and forth, taking in the two short plastic threads attached to each side of the rectangular sliver of metal.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I _think_ it's metal, although I couldn't tell you what kind."

"Metal?" Cassie stroked her finger over the surface of the small sheet that sat on my palm. "What makes you think it's made of metal?"

"Even though we've never worked with solid metals it seems to fulfil several of the properties we're told they have."

I turned the wristband over to show Cassie the other side. As I did, I found my own finger brushing the smooth, cool surface. I relished the sensation: different to how any other material in the Family Quarter felt. For some reason, I always found the feel of the metal reassuring: as if my discovery of it and what it could do _really_ meant something.

"Where did it come from?"

Of course, she would ask me the most difficult question first.

"I found it in Father's office – among some of his work tools – I've seen a few similar things since, but this is the only one I found that did anything."

Cassie's eyes widened with surprise. "Why were you searching through his office?"

"I know – I shouldn't have been doing it." I stopped myself from adding that I wasn't sorry. "The first time it happened, I was looking for a tool to help me with an experiment for school, and I found another piece of metal lodged inside his toolkit. I'd never seen anything like it before and wanted to find out what it was, what it could do..."

"And what did it do?"

"Nothing...nothing at all," I confessed, my memories of disappointment at my first failed experiments colouring my tone, before I shook them off and continued with the story. "But, I couldn't believe Father even had something like that. He's always told me he worked on the internal systems of the space station, within the Family Quarter and there's no metal here at all – the only place we're told they used metal is in the outer structure."

"So what does that mean?"

"I've never been able to decide what it means. I couldn't ask Father because I would get into trouble for what I'd done. I couldn't tell anyone else in case it got Father into trouble – maybe he'd been into an area he shouldn't have been in – or someone who worked on the outer structure had given it to him and he had hidden it..."

Cassie sat back, simply watching me, her expression sympathetic.

A heavy sigh squeezed out of my lungs, huffing into the space between us. "I just didn't know what to think," I told her, being completely honest. "Then over time I found more pieces – I know I shouldn't be searching through Father's work stuff, but I couldn't help myself – I had to know more about them."

"And now you think there's something else to it." Cassie spoke slowly, framing her words carefully as she correctly guessed why I had such issues over such a small thing. "It wasn't just a one-off and so you think your father is involved in something he hasn't told you about because he shouldn't be doing it...? Or, that he's lying to you about what he does...?"

I nodded, in answer to her half-asked questions. "I just can't believe there's any reason Father would have these things, if he wasn't working on the outer structure."

Cassie's head bobbed, as she silently agreed with my theory.

"And, if he is working there – why are we being lied to about the work engineering do?"

"I always thought we were situated centrally in the space station; that the outer structure was quite separate from the Family Quarter and closer to the Retirement and Married Quarters."

I could see Cassie working through each element as she spoke, seeing the ways in which what I was telling her didn't fit with the world we were told existed around us.

We all knew that the overarching rule of the Family Quarter was to stay safe and protect the family unit: the future of the human race was always the most important thing. Outer structure work was dangerous, so it was done by people from the Retirement Quarter who were past the age of having and raising children. Only very occasionally would trained people from the Married Quarter work there, because they still had an important role in the propagation of the species. And _never_ did anyone from the Family Quarter go to the outer shell – death was not supposed to be a part of our lives here.

Cassie was still mulling over her thoughts out loud, and I tuned back in to her voice. "You can't pass between the zones unless you make a permanent personal change – so how would your father be working in that area?"

"Another thing I don't know!" I laughed, turning away before she saw the bitterness I felt, at having struggled with this same question for so long.

I gazed out across the Family Quarter, taking in the neat lines of the avenues, the green parks and white buildings. It didn't look real from up here. It looked like something a child might build, tidy and perfect, but lacking the reality of life. Only dolls could live there.

"Do you ever feel that _thing_? That there's something not right with how we live here?"

"How do you mean?"

I turned back to face her. "Like when you and I are talking about things like this – you hit a point where there is no reasonable answer only more questions... How would Father get metal in his toolkit and why would he lie about where he works? Why is the population of the space station not shrinking with the one-child policy, when simple maths tells us that it should be? Why can't we pass between the Married Quarter and the Family Quarter? Why do the viewing screens have a secondary transmitter?"

Cassie just stared back at me.

"I can't find reasonable answers, no matter how hard I look."

"Don't you think we might feel like this because there _is_ something missing?" Cassie suggested. "We don't live like humans were meant to. Surviving in the space station, in such a controlled environment, we're bound to feel something's missing."

"I can accept that. But, I don't see why The Council and our parents need to lie to us. It seems to me that we have enough information to make general sense of the world surrounding us, but when you look any deeper it begins to unravel."

Cassie gazed at me for a long while, not offering anything else, until she bluntly demanded: "Tell me something else. Tell me something I don't know."

I was taken aback by the frankness of her question, and so I answered without thinking about it too hard. "It's not just the screens that are monitoring us. Every time a scanner records our mark a second measure is taken."

"What kind of measure?"

"A full body scan is completed, detecting your body heat, heart rate, heightened brain wave activity. Each scan is designed to monitor your emotional state; looking for extremes of mental agitation. The scans become more in depth for everyone between the ages of twelve and twenty-one."

"And it's some form of social control?" Cassie guessed.

"I think so." With our society's abhorrence for violence and aggressive behaviour, I had come to the same conclusion. "The data is fed into a monitoring system that looks at virtually every aspect of our daily lives. There are other less pleasant areas where monitoring is carried out – you'll notice there's a scanner outside every toilet you can access?"

"Urgh!" Cassie's lip curled in disgust.

" _Exactly_ ," I nodded. "Your _vitamin supplement_ is as much hormones as vitamins and other chemicals, used to restrict your emotional range as is seen fit. That's why it quite often changes."

It was hard to resist telling Cassie what I'd found in her files, but without any explanation for why it was being done, it would sound crazy. I didn't want to scare her, especially not when she was taking everything so well.

"Yesterday you didn't take your tablets with dinner," she recalled.

"No," I agreed, deciding that even if I didn't reveal her issues, I would quite happily share my own. "I have elevated testosterone levels, according to my data feed, and they're trying to bring them down to _normal_ levels. High testosterone levels are connected with a proclivity for violent behaviour in the system."

"What will happen if you don't take them? Won't it show up in the monitoring?" Cassie looked worried.

"It would show up... But, only if I stop hacking the system and changing my data feeds."

"You're doing WHAT?!" Cassie exploded, her voice reaching a high-pitch squeak. "You'll be brought up before The Council if you get caught!"

"You don't need to worry about that."

"But –"

I held up my hands to interrupt whatever she was going to say. "It's OK – you _don't_ need to worry."

Cassie fell silent and stayed that way for a long while. I could tell that she was trying to process everything I had thrown at her during that last few minutes, and so I stayed quiet and left her to it. Finally she spoke.

"You're right," she said, reaching over to me and taking my face in her hand.

In the face of all my questions, all my frustrations, this one small gesture gave me hope. My mouth twitched into a small smile, as I allowed myself the fantasy that I might not be alone any more. Cassie's face loomed before mine, filling every space I could see with _her_. As her eyes burned into mine, she leaned forward the last few inches and brushed her lips over mine. And then she spoke the words I longed for.

"You're not alone anymore. You have me."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I had been alone for so long with my questions and theories and anger – and now this beautiful, fantastic girl was saying she believed me.

When she closed her eyes and kissed me, I finally let go of myself. Everything I had held in before, didn't have to be hidden anymore – not from Cassie. My eyes drifted shut as she kissed me harder, her arm winding around my shoulders to pull me close.

Without her having to say anything more, I just knew – maybe part of me always had – that Scarlett was right. Cassie was the answer...

### Chapter 15

"I'll come with you!" I said again, shouting my offer this time. But, Cassie's steps didn't falter. Before I'd even had time to collect my belongings to follow, she had already gone. It was obvious she couldn't wait to get away.

What just happened?

My internal voice sounded just as confused as my conscious mind. And it raised a good question. I had no idea what had happened to make Cassie behave the way she had, just now. As I muddled over the last few minutes of our conversation, I began to gather up my things from the ledge and my training spot. I bent up and down slowly, exaggerating the process of picking up a few items and stuffing them into a bag: more focused on what was replaying in my head, than what I was doing.

Cassie had just told me everything: about her problems hearing voices inside her head, the disturbing dreams, what had happened between us... And she had seemed fine – better than fine, even – she had seemed relieved, to be able to talk to someone about what was happening to her...

What had she said just before she freaked out?

We had been talking about her talent getting stronger, hadn't we...maybe that had scared her?

I shook my head, dismissing the idea. It didn't feel like the right answer. She seemed scared because of something else, some connection she made after we'd talked about that.

What was the last thing she asked me?

Something about her dreams being real, other people's thoughts drifting into her head, when her conscious mind wasn't in control. Then she'd said something about it "being Ami, not me," and had run off.

Having picked up everything I could see from the ground, I patted my pocket out of habit, to check that the wristband was there. It wasn't. I realised that Cassie must still be wearing it, from when I put it on her. I only hoped that she had remembered to take it off before leaving the park, otherwise I'd be claiming a system malfunction much sooner than I'd been anticipating.

Looping the strap of the bag across my shoulder, I set off at a brisk jog, hoping I might catch up with Cassie. From what she'd said, I guessed she would be heading home or to Ami's – maybe she'd forgotten they were meeting up – and so I headed in the direction of the Green Zone.

In frustration, I slammed my palm onto the panel at the entrance to our apartment. It took a moment or two, longer than usual, to register my mark and open the door. Once it was halfway open, I shoved my way inside, scraping my arm as I went.

"Hello?" I called out.

As I expected, silence was the only answer I received. Mother and Father must still be at work. Slipping into my bedroom, I pulled the bag from my shoulders and began peeling off my sticky day-suit. I'd ended up running all the way home from Park 42, not seeing any sign of Cassie. I could only assume she'd taken a different route back...either that, or she'd sprinted all the way!

Letting my suit fall into a heap on the floor, I walked across the hallway to the bathroom, not bothering to cover my body as I would normally when my parents were home. They were not big on nudity.

The water in the shower was warm as I got in. I turned it down as low as it would go, and within a few seconds it had cooled. Sticking my head into the spray, it washed away my sweat and irritation. As I relaxed, I let my thoughts drift back to Cassie, and the secrets she had told me that afternoon...

* * *

We had been silent for a while, but that seemed to be OK. Cassie had accepted everything I'd told her about the scanner systems and how I used the band to get around them. I'd given her a lot to think about; it was her turn now.

I rolled closer to Cassie, interrupting her quiet musings. She turned towards me and I cupped her cheek in my palm, making sure I had her full attention again. "Don't think I've forgotten that you have something to tell me..." I let my thumb trace the half circle beneath her eye, where the skin was darker than usual. "You still look tired you know?"

"Thanks!" She spun away immediately.

"I'm just concerned," I said, rolling after her, so she couldn't avoid me. "And you can't exactly tell me that there's nothing wrong. I already know you're hearing things that no one else can!"

"That makes me feel much better," she grumbled, still avoiding eye contact.

"It _should_ make you feel better."

I pulled her back to face me, despite her resistance. I already knew enough about her secret that she couldn't deny it, so why was Cassie so against us finding out more? I tried to encourage her to see it the way I did.

"What you're able to do might be a new step in evolution for mankind...or something special to you...or a result of living on the station..." _Or caused by something they had given us, disguised as vitamins..._

I decided to store that last, random thought away for later. It was something I hadn't actually considered, before it popped into my head just now, but it sounded plausible. Or, as plausible as anything else! I knew it must be scary for her, but how could she not find this exciting? Just a little bit?

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm hearing what people are thinking because of cosmic radiation or exposure to some unknown chemical?"

They were certainly possibilities.

Cassie scoffed at her own suggestion. "To be honest I think that's the least likely explanation of any!"

"Really...? So, you _have_ given this some thought already."

"A little," she conceded, "maybe..."

"You've heard my guilty secrets." I pointed out. "It's good to share and I've got the time right now. Why don't you start at the beginning?"

And she did. Cassie told me that it had started with her dreams, several weeks ago – I made a mental note to go back and check her records to see if anything specific had happened around that time. At the beginning it had been snatches of words and sometimes images of places around the space station: very normal and familiar, but not hers.

Cassie had put this out of her mind, but when the examinations started and she began using the automatic discourse headsets, it got worse. Although she hadn't fully guessed at the time, it sounded like she had been picking up on other people's thoughts and answers to the exam questions.

The headsets had been the main factor today when Cassie had heard me. Perhaps there was something in their construction, or the way they extracted information directly from our minds, that Cassie was picking up on...

I sat back when she finished speaking. There had been a lot of information to take in and it would take me some time to process it. To help me along, I wanted to clarify some things.

"From what you've said, there's been a complete shift from this being something that affected you subconsciously – you were always asleep – to now, when you heard me, and that woman today. You consciously tuned in to what we were thinking."

Cassie shook her head. "I wasn't _trying_ to hear anything from you today, remember? The first time I heard you was just because we both had the headsets on. But, the woman on the way over here..."

"You said you felt like she _tried_ to hear you? As if she was able to do something similar – consciously – that you've been doing by accident?"

Cassie nodded.

That was interesting. If Cassie was right, then it made this much bigger than something that only affected her... The key elements: the effect of the headsets; subconscious and then conscious ability to do this; maybe other people being able to do it... It couldn't all be a coincidence, could it?

We lapsed into silence for a while. In the quiet I turned over ideas in my head and wondered what possible options there were to connect the strange things happening with Cassie, to everything else I thought was wrong with the station – perhaps the link was there?

"So...what do we do?" Cassie asked, eventually interrupting my thoughts.

What could I say?

When I looked at Cassie I saw fear in her eyes, and I hated that. It was even worse that I had no real answer for her.

"What can we do, when we don't really know what's happening?" The question was more for me than her, but Cassie answered anyway.

"Perhaps we need to pay more attention – to try and figure it out."

I tipped my head to the side as I considered her suggestion, before concluding that it was the only choice we had right now. "I've done this for a long time already, but you're right. We need to think about everything we know, everything we've been told – there must be some clues in that to what's happening with you."

Cassie nodded back.

I wasn't convinced that she was going to like what I was about to suggest. "I think we need to do some more experimenting – to try and work out what the limits are to what you're able to do – and maybe work out how you're doing it."

She groaned. "Always the scientist."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I laughed, trying to lighten her mood. "Think about it – if we look at _how_ your talent works, we might be able to understand why it's happening."

"That's true," she agreed. Her eyes clouded with fear. "So, you don't think I'm going mad then?"

_Was that what she thought – that she was mentally ill?_ No wonder Cassie hadn't wanted to talk to me about what was happening to her.

"In all honesty – if you were just hearing random voices, then I'd have to say maybe..."

Cassie's eyes nearly popped out of her head, and I couldn't help but laugh, which probably wasn't the most reassuring thing to do. I held up my hands to ward off her anger.

"But, but, but... We know that you're hearing what people are _actually_ thinking. It's not your imagination creating the voices, but something real – something that would seem almost impossible – but it's happening."

Apparently Cassie accepted this, as the anger emptied from her face. "So, what now?" she asked.

"We review the facts..."

"OK."

"From what you've told me, I'd agree with you that it sounds like when you're unconscious – normally that would mean asleep, but obviously yesterday was an exception – that you're picking up on people's thoughts, maybe even _their_ dreams and seeing them in your own.

"Other than that, the only time you've ever heard anyone was when you were both using an auto-discourse headset, which might mean that the headset is tapping in to the same brain functions that are triggered when you're unconscious."

"Except today," she reminded me. "I think I heard the Medic when you were leaving Medical Records today – it was all a jumble, but I'm sure it was him. Then there was the woman when I was coming here this afternoon."

"So...that could mean whatever is causing it is getting stronger, or your ability is getting more powerful." It seemed like a good suggestion, before I realised that the improvement wasn't consistent. "You've not heard anything from me whilst we've been here?"

"Not a peep," she confirmed.

"Then maybe there's something else – another common factor?"

"Perhaps," she sighed, "but I can't imagine what. And I still have the feeling that the woman this afternoon was expecting something from me when I heard her thoughts. As though she could hear me instead of the other way around."

I sighed myself. "I'd forgotten that part." There was so much to consider, I needed time to pull things together. Right now, my thoughts had no order or sense to them.

"No – it couldn't be!"

Cassie bolted upright beside me. The sudden movement made me jump, and I turned to look at her in surprise.

"You said before about my dreams being people's thoughts, maybe even snippets of what they were actually doing...?"

"Yes – " I began, but stopped when she rolled away from me. I dragged my fringe away from my eyes, to look at her properly. The sudden change – from resignation to fearful babbling – was bizarre. "Are you OK? You seem upset – did I say something wrong?"

"No," she replied through tight lips, "it's not you – it's Ami – I've got to go."

"Ami? What does Ami have to do with anything?"

* * *

Knock-knock.

The sound was faint, compared to the drumming of water on my head, although it was enough to interrupt my re-living the events of the afternoon. I expected it would be Mother, as Father had been essentially non-existent over the last few weeks.

A disgruntled huff escaped my lungs, as I turned off the water. It was not a welcome intrusion. Pulling a dry towel from the rack I ruffled it over my hair to take care of the biggest drips, before dragging it across my face and shoulders to secure it around my waist. When I reached out to open the door, I noticed two long bruises running across my chest, a nice yellow-green colour. They were from when I'd hit the ground when Cassie fell, not painful, but Mother would not miss them. I rolled a second towel around my shoulders and let it hang down, covering the worst of the marks.

Perfect.

Releasing the lock on the bathroom door, it _swooshed_ open, to reveal Mother – as expected – standing on the other side.

"Hi," I said, stepping out of the steamy room, avoiding eye contact with her. I had hoped for a quick exit to my room, but that was obviously not going to happen.

"Hello, Balik. Have you been here long?"

I shrugged. "Maybe twenty minutes."

"I just ran into Cassie outside the apartment. She was looking for you."

"Cassie?" I repeated, managing to sound like I didn't actually know who Mother was talking about.

"She seemed a bit upset, maybe, flustered..."

I looked up to find curious eyes trained on my face. As if she expected this information might mean something to me. Unfortunately, it didn't – although it did worry me, and I wondered if it might be connected to Cassie's abrupt disappearance from the park. "Oh," I said finally, hoping it would be an adequate response.

Mother narrowed her eyes, ever so slightly. She looked like she was straining to hear someone whispering. A moment later, her facial muscles relaxed into her normal, bland expression.

I began walking towards my bedroom. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but Mother's behaviour was even stranger than usual. An eerie sense of de ja vu washed through me, as if I should understand more about her reaction, but couldn't quite put it in context.

"Did you go to the engineering sector to look at the placement details today?" she asked.

I didn't turn back when I replied. "No, I forgot that was today. I'll go to the next one."

Taking a step towards me, Mother appeared at my arm, half blocking my path. She never normally came that close – seeming keen to keep a physical distance between us, as far as possible. But now, her full attention was turned on me like a spotlight.

"You seem to be forgetting a lot of things lately. Yesterday you left your bag at The Clinic, and had to go back. Now this as well, are you feeling OK?"

As she spoke, it was not in her normal, subdued tone; instead it ratcheted higher with each word.

Was it concern...?

It had to be, I told myself. Then, I remembered another time I'd heard someone's voice get similarly shrill. That hadn't been concern...it had been fear. Cassie's voice took on a similar higher cadence when she was scared.

I watched Mother for a few seconds. Her eyes were staring right back at me, as she waited for an answer. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you." I nodded firmly, reinforcing my words. "I went to the park with Cassie when we finished – I just didn't think about the placement visit. It gets busy learning all these new things at The Clinic each day – it's quite different to school."

Mother smiled slightly, the focus of her eyes changing as she looked at me, as though my words meant something more than they did. The expression sent a shiver rippling down my spine.

Had Mother ever looked at me that way before?

At that, Mother turned away and began walking in the direction of the main living area, although, she did offer some further words as she went. I wasn't sure if they were supposed to be encouraging, because she sounded dismissive.

"You do not need to worry too much about what you learn at The Clinic, you probably won't use most of it anyway."

"Won't use it?" I repeated. My face compressed around the question in a confused frown.

Mother's head swung up, her eyes drawing back to me. She looked surprised, as though she hadn't meant to say what she had, or perhaps that she hadn't meant it...

"I – er – just – obviously you _will_ use it – I just meant, you will not need it all at once. There will be time for you to keep training after the placement." Mother's head twitched minutely as she stammered out a response. The twitch was something I had never seen her do before, and I had certainly never, ever heard her stammer. This was not right.

"Oh," was all I could say, because my mind was already racing.

What was wrong with Mother, her behaviour was so different?

Or was I changing? Heightened sensory function was a likely side-effect from the gene therapy I had administered...could it be making me more aware than normal?

Yesterday I had guessed that the therapy might have sped up my reaction time when Cassie fell. From hearing a small cracking noise and feeling a slight movement beneath my feet I had already been responding: working out what connected the two things and reaching for Cassie before I was truly conscious of what was happening. Was it just adrenaline heightening my senses, or was it something more permanent...?

"Are you going to speak to Cassie?" Mother asked.

Her question startled me from the confused jumble of thoughts that had invaded my brain.

"Speak to her?"

"Yes. Cassie asked me to tell you to call her, she should be home by now – and she seemed keen to talk to you, she called on the viewing screen a few minutes after I had seen her here."

I could have kicked myself. Cassie must have called at the apartment whilst I was in the shower. Piecing together Cassie's strange disappearance from the park, with Mother describing her as upset, and her apparent desire to speak with me... A nervous tremor ran through my stomach. None of that sounded good.

"Yes," I replied. "Yes I am. I'll call her now." I was already heading to my bedroom.

I pulled on a clean day-suit, whilst trying not to panic about what might cause Cassie to behave so oddly. As I rolled the sleeves down over my arms, I realised that if there was something seriously wrong with Cassie, it might begin to flag up on the monitoring systems. Maybe it was connected with the adjustments I'd made to her supplement...?

No. I shook my head, convincing myself it wouldn't work _that_ quickly...

Dragging my portable screen from my bag, I ran my fingers across the keys and began logging in to the, now familiar, database. Within seconds I was looking at Cassie's profile for that afternoon. It didn't look good.

On entering Park 42, she had shown slightly elevated pulse rate and some low-level agitation – not enough to hit the escalation point. Just. But, as she left the park, the scanner showed a huge increase in heart rate and tension. She was also moving at high speed, which had earned a mark in the _review_ column. I tapped in some new instructions and her data returned to the normal level. I was about to scroll forwards, to see if she had passed any other markers between the park and the Green Zone, when something caught my eye.

At the bottom of the screen, Cassie's scan results from her walk to the park showed a red mark in a column that was normally empty. Swiping the pointer to it, I tapped once to open the link. It took me to a new page – one filled with a large, single rotating image. I stared for a moment, watching the blue curved lines moving on the black screen, before realising what it was: a brain scan.

The first set of scan images was completely normal. Green, red and yellow spots showed specific areas of activity in the brain at the time of the scan. I guessed that some would have been managing physical activity, such as controlling Cassie's legs and body as she walked. Another area, which looked like it might be the amygdala, was active at the time. I struggled to recall what that was connected with, but I thought it might be emotional memory.

When the image rotated further to show the frontal lobes, everything went from normal to extraordinary. Two bright points, shone white on the screen, emanating from the frontal lobes. Thin, white threads beneath them showed a neural pathway connecting the two points with the temporal lobe, which also glowed white. This in itself was unique, but the thing that really caught my attention were the wispy, shimmering trails of light, which connected to the frontal lobes, but were stretching outside the scan area...they were linking to something outside the brain.

Whatever was happening to Cassie – giving her these new powers – _this_ was the evidence. The fact that the scan appeared in a column, which directed immediate investigation, suggested that there was something seriously amiss. And that someone, somewhere, was monitoring us for this very thing.

I closed that screen and moved through Cassie's data, looking for something more. Two pages back, I found it. Another red dot – which I clicked – and a near duplicate scan image, although the white areas were considerably less bright on this one.

The time stamp was today. My blood froze. It was when we had been in the records suite, and Cassie had heard my thoughts. I raced back to the day before, when we had been in Park 42, but found nothing.

Perhaps we had been too far from the scanner to register?

I scrolled forwards now, finding the first scan I'd looked at. The time stamp for the scan this afternoon, was about ten minutes before Cassie had met me in the park.

Could it have been when she saw the woman she had told me about?

I was nodding to myself, agreeing with the likelihood of that guess, when I saw that new data was available on Cassie's profile. It must have downloaded in the last minute or so, as I looked at the scans. It was the last hour of scans reported across the Family Quarter.

Click.

The new page opened. Nearly every scanner report for Cassie in the last hour had warning flags: heightened adrenaline, erratic pulse rate and red marks, showing abnormal brain activity.

What had happened to her?

Even as I tried to pull together a connection between the scan results and what Cassie might have experienced since she left me, I was removing the abnormal files from Cassie's data feed. I dropped all the information into a hidden folder on my portable screen, for further investigation, and then cleared off the warning notes from her profile. When I closed down the screen, everything looked _normal._ Now I needed to speak to Cassie, to find out why it wasn't.

Activating the viewing screen in my bedroom, I entered Cassie's details and waited for the call to connect. The screen changed from black to Cassie's face – in close up – a few seconds later.

"Hi!" She gushed, as soon as she answered the call.

"Err. Hello?"

It sounded like a question. This was _not_ what I was expecting. Cassie sounded giddy and was fidgeting around like an impatient child.

"Did you get the results we wanted from the research streams?"

_Search stream...what was she talking about?_ I must have shown my confusion, because Cassie began explaining.

"I had an idea about that I wanted to _talk_ to you about."

Cassie's eyes met mine, through the screen, and I saw then. She was terrified. Looking beyond her face now, I saw that she was in her living room, and that her parents were stood close by. We couldn't talk with an audience, and Cassie looked desperate to get away.

"You know what – I forgot to get dinner on my way home – can you meet me and we'll get something together? We can talk about the research then if you like." I hoped I sounded natural and bright. Something in my stomach felt like a weight, and in that instant I wanted nothing more than to charge into Cassie's home and rescue her.

Cassie's eyes closed briefly and I recognised her relief, before she exclaimed "Me too!" with fake excitement. "Let me check if that's OK."

She didn't even have to ask her parents, her father was already answering before she spoke. It sounded like: "No problem – you should go – you have to eat after all."

Hearing this, I pulled shoes onto my feet. "Shall I meet you at the Green Zone junction?"

"Sure," Cassie replied cheerfully. "I'll see you in a couple of minutes."

Those couple of minutes felt like forever as I paced in tight circles around the junction. The mirrors were beginning to tilt, and shadows between the apartment buildings were growing gradually longer.

Why was it taking so long for her to get here?

I turned in the direction of a soft flapping sound, and saw Cassie racing towards me, suddenly appearing from the shadows. Without a word, she slammed into me – nearly knocking me over – and threw her arms around me.

"What's wrong?" I demanded, catching her arms and pulling her back. My eyes scoured every inch of her face for some explanation as to what was happening.

I was about to repeat my question – finding no answers in her face – when Cassie shook her head at me. With a gentle nod of her head, she pointed at the freestanding viewing screen, a couple of metres away from us, in the middle of the junction.

I pulled her close, putting my lips to her ear. "We need to go somewhere?"

Cassie bobbed her head in confirmation. I let her go, but took her hand securely in mine and we walked away from the junction.

Leaving the Green Zone behind us we approached the central plaza and passed The Clinic. At the café we had eaten in the night before, Cassie steered me inside and we took two meals out with us. Questions burned my insides, fighting to get out – but I couldn't say anything until I knew we were safe.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You know," she said "We can talk there."

I nodded and slipped her hand into mine again. We would go back to the park.

### Chapter 16

"It's very dark," Cassie observed, as we reached the entrance to Park 42.

Through the gloom ahead, the only light I saw came from a single viewing screen and scanner at the gate. "I've never noticed any lights when I've been here during the day." Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. "Are you sure you want to go in here? I wouldn't want to risk you falling again."

"I don't think we need to go too far," Cassie whispered back, throwing a glance in the direction of the viewing screen. "What kind of range do you think the screen transmitter has?"

"The same as usual I expect," I told her, before realising what she was actually asking me. "I think _both_ transmitters would have the same reach: about ten metres or so."

"Good." Cassie squeezed my hand and pulled me through the gate.

The darkness was thick around us. In the distance above the tree line a faint glow from the residential zones and main plazas managed to cast some dim shadows across the clearing where we sat, huddled close together with our backs against a tree.

"Are you going to eat?"

Cassie had discarded her food plate on the floor as she sat down and not looked at it since.

She shook her head. "I can't."

"OK." I tossed my own plate aside, similarly disinterested. "What's going on?"

Taking a deep breath, Cassie began talking. And she didn't stop.

Yesterday, Cassie had spoken with Ami and Patrick on the viewing screen. Everything had been normal – she'd even finally admitted to Ami that she liked me – but hadn't told her about the accident. I realised that this must have been the conversation Patrick repeated to me when I'd seen him.

_Was that only twenty-four hours ago? It felt like much longer_ ...

That night Cassie had dreamed about them. It had been a nightmare, really, because she'd seen them being dragged from their beds by a group of men and taken away.

That seemed strange. It was oddly violent, for someone who lived in the world we did. What would inspire such dark ideas and details – the pictures had been so clear to her: gloved figures, clothed in black; people talking to one another without speaking; Ami's parents helping them take their own child away.

"And you think the suggestion I made, about your subconscious being able to tap into people's thoughts, makes your dream real? That's a big jump."

Cassie shook her head and I saw tears spring to her eyes, even in the dim light.

"Ami's gone, Balik. Her and Patrick have gone."

"Gone?"

Cassie drew in a ragged breath. "When I left you today, I went to Ami's apartment. I saw her neighbour, who told me that Ami had eloped. Her parents were gone too."

"Gone?" I echoed myself, my brain not working fast enough to make the connections Cassie was between Ami's elopment and her missing parents.

"To the Retirement Quarter!" She spat out, her lip curling into a sneer of disbelief.

"Did Ami elope?" I asked, my voice quiet. _Was she disappointed that her friend had left her behind?_

"NO! Ami didn't elope – she wouldn't have – she promised she would tell me. And, she always hated the idea of eloping. She always said that when she was ready, she would be one of the few people who actually said goodbye to their friends properly. Ami wanted me to wave her through the entrance to the Married Quarter. I don't believe – I _can't_ believe – that she would change that."

The words toppled out of Cassie's mouth, bouncing over one another. More tears fell. I reached out and wiped them away with my thumb.

"That isn't everything." Cassie said, calming down a little. "I'm hearing more people. _All_ the time..."

At these words, I was immediately reminded of the brain scans I had hidden in her profile. It reinforced my theory about what was causing Cassie to show as abnormal in the system. It was showing up, every time she heard someone.

"I'm scared, Balik."

Cassie's eyes lifted to mine, willing me to know what to do. I still had no idea. "What is it specifically that scares you?"

"Specifically? I'm scared of everything and nothing – I'm not even sure anymore!" Her eyes closed. "It's like I can feel something all around me, not just the voices, but something more...it's pressing against me all the time, trying to break through."

"But, you think it is similar to the voices...has there been anything else you can pin-point as being connected?"

"Ami's neighbour, when she spoke to me, I saw images inside my head. They weren't from me."

"What kind of images?" I wondered aloud.

"She kept thinking about a mark, but it was red, not black."

"I've never heard of one being red before."

"Neither had I. Before I saw Ami's arm last night – _her_ mark had turned red."

"Her mark changed?" I'd never heard of that. I couldn't even see how that would be possible. _Maybe an ink fault?_ That seemed unlikely.

"Not just hers. Patrick's had changed as well." Cassie said.

"What? How is that possible?"

She shrugged. "All I know, is that I've never heard of a red mark before. But, Ami's turned red. And what I saw inside her neighbour's head was definitely red as well."

"You think you actually saw something from inside someone's mind? Not just a voice?"

"Definitely," Cassie said, with a finality that unnerved me. "When I came to your apartment, I was worried something might have happened to you – when I saw your Mother and spoke to her, it happened again: some images, some thoughts."

"You saw inside my mother's mind?"

Cassie shifted uncomfortably, but didn't answer.

"What is it? What else happened?"

"The same thing that I think happened with that woman today. I got the pains at the front of my head." Cassie pointed to her temples. "It felt like something was trying to get inside me."

_The front of her head..._ It was the same area that had shown up strangely on the brain scans.

The air whooshed out of my lungs, as another realisation smashed into me. Another adult had tried to use a similar skill to Cassie's, on her. Not just any adult – my mother!

"It's not just your Mother." Cassie said, as if plucking the thought from my head. "I heard my parents tonight. They were talking to each other, without speaking. Just like the people in my dream."

More details poured out. The more Cassie talked, the more I began to see the connection between her dreams and what was happening to her.

"I can't make sense of it," I admitted at last, shaking my head hard, as though it might shift the neurons around and make them work better.

The things Cassie had told me about her experiences – with her parents, Ami's neighbour, even my own mother – they were strange to the extreme, almost unbelievable. But that wasn't the issue: I believed Cassie. Like every other lie I had exposed, it appeared that the adults of the Family Quarter knew. It shouldn't have surprised me that they would be involved in this – whatever _this_ was.

The thing I couldn't grasp was what purpose the lies had. Rather than becoming clearer to me, the more I knew about what was happening, the less I understood.

If it had been some natural change Cassie was experiencing, then why were we not being told about it? An evolutionary change was not impossible to imagine. In fact, it seemed the most likely explanation, as the adults appeared to have this same ability and were using it on us...

If that were the answer, what reason would they have for, not only excluding us from this, but physically removing us from one area to another under the masquerade of eloping?

I tried to run through the things we knew, piece-by-piece, looking for the missing link. The adults had this ability, but no children other than Cassie – as far as we could tell – shared it. The systems that monitored our health and behaviour were specifically designed to seek out this anomaly amongst the children, and report it for immediate investigation. _As if it was a problem, and not something they wanted to happen..._

That made sense, I realised.

Why would our parents not want us to develop the same abilities that they obviously had? I decided that they wouldn't need to hide this, if there was not something more sinister going on. And they would not need the violent men in black, that Cassie had seen in her _dream_ , if this was a good thing. The final piece, that I still couldn't place, was what all of this had to do with our marks...

"You're the one who said you always felt that there's been something missing – something not right – about the station."

Cassie prompted me, interrupting my silence. She was right of course, but I had no idea what all these new revelations meant. I could see her face turned towards me in the half-light: expectant and afraid. I had to give her something, even if I didn't have much.

"Yes," I agreed with a nod. "But, I was thinking more along the lines that there are things being done beyond our knowledge, and that we're excluded from them in order to protect us. I wasn't thinking that our parents were communicating amongst themselves without speaking and abducting us forcibly for transfer to the Married Quarter!"

There was a long silence. I could only suppose that Cassie was as lost as I was and so I just let her be quiet.

"We're going to have to get back, before our parents start looking for us." Cassie's voice sounded raw, as if she was crying.

That was impossible – we couldn't go back – not knowing what we did.

"No! What are we going back to?"

Cassie didn't answer me.

"If we honestly believe that what you dreamed was – in any way real – that means our parents and the other adults are forcing people to the Married Quarter! What reason would they have for doing that?"

All Cassie offered me was another shrug. It pushed me further, making me throw some of my own questions back at her.

"On top of everything else, if the ability to communicate through thoughts is as widespread amongst the adult population of the space station as you seem to think it is, why have they not told us about it?"

"Perhaps it's something that's not supposed to mature until we've moved over to the Married Quarter."

"I don't think so." _And neither do you..._ Cassie's voice sounded hollow, as if she didn't even believe her own words as she spoke them.

If Cassie hearing people's thoughts, was something that was meant to happen to all of us, they would tell us if the skill emerged early. I was sure of it. The brain scans I'd seen in Cassie's record certainly showed they were looking for it, but that only reinforced that it was not for our benefit.

I counted off the examples Cassie had given me. The woman in the street, Ami's neighbour, my mother and then her father: she'd felt them all try and tap into her thoughts.

What connected them with each other?

It took a moment, but then something jumped out at me. Each attempt at intrusion coincided with them questioning Cassie's behaviour, or something she'd told them. My thought processes leaped on further. Could there be a connection between their interest in her behaviour, and The Council's preoccupation with moderating our behaviour with chemicals and hormones...was hearing thoughts another, deeper means of control?

That seemed plausible.

At school – even in our training at the Clinic – this extra sense that the adults had was never hinted at. Almost the opposite: they taught us that hearing voices was a sign of mental illness in humans...

This new information just didn't fit with how The Council approached everything else in the Family Quarter. Protecting us – ensuring we survived and became adults – was the goal of _all_ their other actions. If this change happened to everyone, I was sure they would have a plan to deal with anyone who _matured_ early.

I shared my thoughts with Cassie. "If this – what's happening to you – was the _change_ you've heard people mention, surely we'd know about it? We'd need to understand that when it started to happen we needed to move across to the Married Quarter. As far as we know, you're the only one who can do it." I shook my head. "It doesn't sound right."

"So what is the _change_ then?" She persisted, knocking us both back into wordless contemplation.

_Change_. Ami's neighbour had been the first adult Cassie had heard mention it. Then, there was the conversation she found her parents having...did anything connect them? I couldn't think of anything. _What else was missing?_

"Maybe it's something to do with whatever The Collective is?" Cassie's next suggestion jumped us to a whole new area. "The way my parents talked about _The Collective_ made them sound different to The Council."

"No." That still didn't sound right. The Collective might be something else, but it wasn't this – I was sure. The only other change we knew about, besides Cassie's was Ami and Patrick's mark. And hadn't Cassie seen an image of a red mark flash through the neighbour's mind?

"The change has to do with our marks." I told her. "From everything you've said about your dream and what you've seen in the adult's minds, they are preoccupied with them. It was Ami's mark they checked before removing her, remember?"

This was my best guess. My next being, that whatever had caused Cassie to hear people was an accident. Being able to do so was revealing another world to her: one that we were deliberately excluded from.

" _There is more to this world than we're told."_

Words from my past ambushed me, dropping another piece of the puzzle into place. Scarlett had told me this, hadn't she? I'd always thought she meant the secrets I'd uncovered, but now I heard her words in a new way. Cassie was feeling people inside her head. That had happened to me, just once before, hadn't it?

It wasn't a complete answer – Scarlett had been a child, but she had been able to speak inside my head. She had also fallen to her death then I'd seen her walking around, so I thought I could allow some leeway on the age thing.

" _You will find the truth and you will need Cassie to do it."_

Was all of this what Scarlett had meant for me to find?

It _had_ to be – the similarities were too great. I had always wondered what made Cassie special, if it wasn't this, I couldn't imagine what else it would be...

Cassie's head moved against mine, as she fidgeted. It drew my attention back to her, just before she spoke.

"Ami and Patrick's marks changed. I've never seen that happen before, have you?"

I looked down at my own wrist, seeing the dark shape of my mark outlined by the dim light. I had never seen, or heard, about them changing. Tilting mine towards the viewing screen in the distance, I picked up a sliver of additional light. Air stuck in my throat – I couldn't answer her question, I couldn't breathe. In the shadowy light, I could see that the edges of my mark had taken on a deep red tinge.

_It's a trick of the light._ I had nothing in common with Ami and Patrick – how could I have the same thing as them?

I didn't. I couldn't.

"No," I told Cassie, finding my voice.

There was a long pause, before Cassie spoke again. I used the time to run through what I might be able to find out tonight, to support my theory, once my parents thought I was asleep. I couldn't share it with Cassie until I was sure.

"Do you think Ami's OK?"

I sucked in a deep breath, wishing that Cassie hadn't asked me that. Any situation that hid behind lies and secrets was never good.

"Ami was asleep when they came for her and then sedated by the sounds of things. It seems they don't want us to be distressed by the removal to the Married Quarter...But, for what reason, I really don't know."

"Patrick wasn't sedated though. He saw what was happening to Ami and when he struggled with them, they hurt him."

True.

"Do you think they killed him?" I asked, before immediately regretting my unedited question, when I saw the expression on Cassie's face.

"Dead?"

I stayed quiet.

"DEAD?!" Cassie shouted, her voice rising to near hysteria in a single word.

"It's just a thought, Cassie, a possibility – I didn't mean – "

"Just a thought? Why would you say it if you didn't mean it?"

It wasn't that I didn't mean it, but that wasn't the right thing to say. Through the darkness, all I saw was fear in Cassie's eyes. "I'm sorry Cassie. I shouldn't have said that. I have no idea what's happening and it was wrong to throw an idea like that out there. I'm sorry if it upset you."

Cassie didn't respond, although her head drooped forward, in what I took to be a nod. I realised that we had talked enough. To work out anything more at this point I needed to get back to a viewing screen – maybe even The Clinic to get supplies if I was going to test reactions on my own mark. (It had occurred to me that the change might be related to hormones, and I might understand more about why our marks might change, if I knew what it was made of in the first place).

"We need to get back," I told Cassie. "But, before we leave I want you to take this."

I let go of her hand and pulled the wristband back out of my pocket. Cassie had given it me back when we first sat down, but I had another, and something told me that she might need it, if we didn't figure out what was happening quickly enough. Without knowing what was going on, I knew enough to tell me that Cassie needed to be protected.

I pressed the cool square of the metal band into Cassie's palm and tried to ignore the awful squirming in my stomach, that had begun with the thought of Cassie being in danger.

"Why do you want me to have this?" she sounded worried.

"Just in case." I shrugged, trying to downplay the significance of my gift. "And don't worry – I think I've been able to make another one for me – I had a rummage through Father's tools and came across some interesting pieces."

"You don't think something will happen do you?"

The truth was, I didn't know. I didn't want to lie to Cassie, and so I didn't. "I'm not sure of anything any more, but I'll be happier knowing you have that with you."

"We can't go to anyone about this, can we?"

"No," I agreed, "It's just me and you now."

Cassie pulled herself closer to me and drew my face around to hers. In the shadows she looked beautiful, but fragile – like she might break if I touched her. I froze in place, my back remaining pressed up against the tree.

With her next movement, Cassie appeared anything but fragile. She rotated on the ground, raising her right leg over my hips, pulling herself into my lap. As her eyes met mine, she looked inside me.

"You and me," she said, echoing my words.

"Always," I confirmed, the word swelling in my throat, so that I couldn't speak. Cassie was so close to me, anyway – I didn't want more words – I just wanted her. She leaned into the gap between us and brought her lips onto mine. In desperation, I dragged her close and didn't let go.

Cassie held on as if she would never let go, barely breaking our kiss to breathe. When she did, I couldn't stop moving. My mouth moved over her cheeks to her neck, and tilting her head back, I found the softest niches of her throat. As my tongue brushed over them, Cassie pressed herself tighter against me, and sent me charging on. Her throat curved into her shoulder and I pulled the sleeve of her day-suit away as I kissed her there. In the next instant my own suit was being pulled aside, her hands on my skin like electric heat, and all I felt was Cassie wrapped around me.

* * *

"I don't want to go," Cassie murmured as we reached the Green Zone junction. The streets were deserted, which wasn't a surprise: the nearby viewing screen showed it was nearly 11.30pm.

"Me either," I agreed, stepping into her and sliding my arms around her waist. Cassie shivered against me, so I squeezed her closer

"Remember what I said about your mother."

I didn't answer, but stroked my finger over her cheek, marvelling at the light blush that seemed to follow my touch. There had to be some way for us to move on from here – away from the secrets and lies – I just needed to work out how.

She pressed on. "You _have_ to guard your thoughts when you're around her – especially since we've been talking about things I've never even heard of before like The Collective – she'll know there's something wrong if she picks that up from you."

Cassie was right. I dropped my hand, and focused instead on her eyes. They were bright and intent on me, I could see she was being driven by fear.

"And what about you, how will you keep your thoughts to yourself?"

"I'll just keep you at the front of my mind." Cassie shrugged. "It seems to be what my parents expect, and to be honest it's not much of a change from normal anyway."

I smiled at the partial compliment, and tried to hide my own fear that we were trapped inside something much worse than I had ever imagined.

"I'm scared." Cassie's face pressed into my shoulder, muffling her words.

"You don't have to be scared – you've got me. We'll work this out together." I promised, stroking her hair. When the dark figures from Cassie's dream stalked through my own mind, my arms tightened around her. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

"What are you going to do? Be a hero and sit outside my apartment all night to keep watch over me?"

Cassie was still squeezed into my shoulder, and her warm breath seeped through the fabric of my suit when she spoke. "Something like that," I whispered back, realising that it was actually a pretty good idea. I leaned in to kiss her. "You're my Achilles heel, you know."

"Achilles shouldn't have had a weakness."

I might have laughed at her immediate, logical denial of the ancient myth. Except, there was no laughter inside me. "All of us – heroes and gods, but especially mere mortals – have a weakness," I said, placing my lips onto hers.
Chapter 17

The small clock on the screen beside my apartment door told me it was 11.42pm. I was very late – later than I'd ever been out before, to my parents' knowledge – and I wasn't sure what I was about to walk in to.

The door whooshed open and I stepped inside.

"Hello?" I asked cautiously.

Mother appeared at the other end of the hallway. "Balik – I've been waiting for you to get back."

I searched her face for any indication of anger, or even reproach for my having stayed out so late.

"I'm sorry it's late, I was – "

"With Cassie – I know." She replied, cutting off my excuse. "Your Father is out – there was an emergency job he had to attend to."

"An emergency in the Family Quarter?" I asked, unable to help myself.

"Of course, where else would he be working?" Her question was more a statement and did not require an answer. "I've got to go back to The Clinic. One of the nightshift has had to leave as their daughter is ill, so they need cover."

"You've already been in work all day – aren't you tired?"

Mother focused alert eyes on my face. She certainly didn't look sleepy – she looked the same as ever – perhaps I could add _not sleeping_ to my list of odd things my parents did!

"I'm fine. Do you need anything before I go?"

"No thanks, I'm just going to bed. It's very late."

"Make sure you do. We don't want you getting ill, or being late for your placement in the morning."

"No, Mother," I agreed, as I walked into my bedroom.

The apartment door opened and closed a few seconds later, and I knew I was alone. It was a welcome surprise – it meant I could experiment on my mark straight away – but it also felt odd. My parents never normally left me alone overnight, why would they start now?

12.56am.

I sat on the floor of my room, an icepack held against my arm, trying to soothe the throbbing pain in my wrist. A myriad of equipment and empty tubes lay around me, discarded during my experiments. I was bruised and sore, but at least I had an answer now.

Pulling the icepack away I examined the inflamed skin beneath. Apparently the transmitter I had discovered underneath my mark hadn't liked being prodded and jabbed with chemicals. I re-covered it with the cool pack and turned to my portable screen, which lay on the floor beside me.

I deleted all the chemical analysis data from the screen, which had tracked everything I'd done to myself in the last hour. There was something oddly satisfying about making myself disappear: removing every warning notice and investigation flag from my record, until I looked just like everyone else.

Not _everyone_ else, I corrected immediately. I looked like every other child.

I pressed harder on the icepack and felt the dig of the transmitter beneath my flesh. It was something I had never known existed before, but I was sure that I would feel it every second of every day, now that I knew it was there. My mark was just for show: the important stuff was beneath the surface.

Once Mother had left me alone, I'd set myself up with a nice little experiment rig and begun splashing and wiping my mark with a whole variety of chemicals. I tried everything I had, in the small stock I kept hidden at home, and even ventured into my parents' office in search of more things to try. It hadn't taken long for it to became clear that the mark didn't do anything much on the surface.

It was when I was wiping up some of the mess on my arm I felt something I'd never noticed before. Pressing down harder than normal, trying to wipe off a smear of sticky liquid, I felt a small solid lump beneath my skin. I pulled away the cloth and pressed the area again, until I found it. The lump was immediately below the mark: too hard to be muscle, too small to be bone.

This had to be it.

I took a syringe and slid it beneath my skin, into the area around the unknown mass. Depressing the plunger, I supplied it with small amount of hormones, and waited. At first I thought nothing had happened, but a minute later the data feed on my viewing screen began to change. Red flags appeared against my profile, along with new numbers depicting a spike in my hormone levels: testosterone and dopamine. I grabbed another syringe and installed the cartridge, before shooting the hormones into my wrist. A minute later, more data appeared: my oxytocin and serotonin levels had increased – and now had a monitoring flag applied to them.

I swallowed. Whatever was buried in the flesh of my arm was part of The Council's monitoring system. Not only did they test my urine and blood outside my body, and scan me for undesirable emotional changes, I now knew that they were inside me as well. There was no way to escape them.

I pulled the ice pack away again, replacing it with a small freeze pack, which I bandaged to my arm to hold it tight in place. There was no way I was sitting here all night, now that I knew this.

I'd seen the light in Cassie's room go off just after midnight. It had been a surprise to find that I could see her room from mine – I wasn't quite sure how that fact had by-passed me before, although on days when my hormones were raging, not having that information probably hadn't been a bad thing. I didn't want to be _that_ guy.

Anyway, armed with this new information, I felt even more uncomfortable about leaving Cassie alone with her parents. I didn't know everything yet, but I did know that I didn't trust a single adult in the Family Quarter – my parents and Cassie's included. Slipping the wristband over the reddening mark on my arm, I left the apartment undetected.

1.07am.

I settled into place: opposite Cassie's apartment building, nestled amongst the branches of a not-too-prickly bush. Switching on my portable screen, I kept it hidden inside my bag. It wasn't perfect, but it concealed the glow enough that the light wouldn't be noticed if someone happened to look out of the window.

Ready to work I opened the link to the main Family Quarter database and pulled up Ami's data file – understanding her story was my first step to filling the gaps in my theories.

2.56am.

I detected movement near Cassie's apartment building. Because everything else was so still and quiet, my eyes were immediately drawn to the source of the change. I recognised Cassie's father, and a woman, who I assumed must be her mother. They left the avenue, walking beside one another, as if it were perfectly normal to be out strolling at three o'clock in the morning.

Fear tightened in my chest. Ami's parents had disappeared to the Retirement Quarter, the same night Cassie dreamed of Ami's abduction. Had something happened to Cassie? Had I waited too long?

I snapped the screen off and shoved it back into my bag, leaving it in the bushes. Scanning the surrounding buildings, I saw no further movements inside or out, and so I crept out of my hiding place and moved towards Cassie's apartment.

As I stole into Cassie's bedroom, relief flooded through me. A Cassie-shaped lump was curled up on the bed, breathing softly, deeply asleep. I looked around me, finding her bedroom nearly identical to my own. Then I faltered.

What do I do now?

In the end, I decided that I would stay for a short while, just to make sure everything was OK. Seeing Cassie's parents creeping out in the middle of the night disturbed me. Putting that together with everything else Cassie and I knew – and what I had found out tonight – I didn't want to risk leaving her alone.

I settled myself onto the floor beside Cassie's bed. She stirred in her sleep, as though her dreams were troubling her. I froze, waiting for something more, but a minute later her breathing returned to normal. So, I tried to relax a little, although I wasn't expecting to sleep: the floor was not comfortable and my head was far too busy.

In the darkness, I lay on my back and turned over the new information I had, and tried to tie it to everything else. Without meaning to, I found myself pulling away the wristband that covered my mark, to look at it. In the last few hours, the dark red I had imagined I'd seen in Park 42, had become real. It had blossomed into a bright crimson now and spread closer to the centre of the shapes imprinted on my skin. There was no denying the change and I knew that the scanners would detect it sooner or later.

From my research tonight, I had discovered that in the days before their marks changed, Ami and Patrick had both been tracked through the data system. High levels of specific chemicals and hormones had highlighted them both for monitoring: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen. The same things that had brought immediate attention to me tonight, during my experiments...the same things I had been hiding in my own test results for weeks, and more recently Cassie's.

Unfortunately, from what I could see, there was no way to hide the change to our marks. Whilst the other tests would flag up anomalies in the system, they seemed to be treated with minimal interest, which explained why I was able to change results with little difficulty. But, the change in our marks...as soon as that registered, a number of alerts were raised and circulated to unreachable parts of the system.

I hadn't found the evidence yet – and I certainly didn't know _why_ all this was being done – but I was sure that some final element was needed to generate the change in our marks...the hormones and chemicals were all connected, but there was one more thing that they were interested in. Something – it seemed – that was only identified through the change in our marks.

The only thing that blocked the mark altogether was my band. Well, not the _only_ thing: I could cut open my arm and try to remove the transmitter thing that was inside there. But, without knowing more about it, or how deeply it was embedded into my body, I did not like that idea.

So, it was back to the wristband. Both Cassie and I had one, and I was certain that we could use them to disappear completely, but that didn't feel like a long-term solution.

Would Cassie even come with me, if I decided to hide?

I wasn't sure of that either, although I did know that time to decide was running out. Running out fast.

Through the darkness, I heard a quiet beep, followed by the swooshing sound of a door opening. Footsteps followed. Rolling off my back, into a crouch, I made my way to the edge of Cassie's bed. If someone was coming in, I would be ready.

I waited. One minute. Two. Then three. No one came and I began to relax again. It must have been her parents coming back in. That wasn't perfect: I'd have to find a way to sneak out of the apartment now, but I was sure I could find a way. _Hopefully._

"No!" Cassie screamed.

She launched herself from the bed, scaring the breath out of me, with her shout. I only just had time to roll aside, as I thought she was going to stand on me, but then she lost her footing and plunged to the floor.

Cassie hit the ground with a dull thud, and shouted out again, as she jarred her shoulder. In the next moment, I saw her gaze focus on me, and her eyes went wide with fear. Panicking that she might scream, and bring her parents running, I clamped my hand over her mouth. It wasn't a perfect idea, but I didn't want to get caught here.

Cassie began struggling and somehow, I ended up on top of her as I tried to keep her mouth covered. Several times, I tried to whisper that it was me, but I wasn't sure she heard. Finally, she stopped thrashing around, and I thought she had realised who I was.

"Sssshhhhh," I whispered near her ear, trying to calm her down.

Cassie remained still, and I tried to readjust my position to give her more space, but couldn't. We were so tangled together, and my other hand was holding my weight off her body, so that I didn't hurt her.

Maybe I shouldn't have worried too much about that. A split-second later, Cassie's right hand lashed out and caught me hard across the throat. Bright spots flashed in my eyes, as I rolled away and tried not to choke. Cassie clambered to her feet, whilst I fought for breath. She looked like she was about to run.

"Good shot!" I managed to croak, hoping it would stop her.

She froze. "Balik...? What the hell are you doing?!"

"I was keeping you safe," I wheezed, trying to sit up, then not bothering when I realised I still didn't have enough air in my lungs to begin moving. Cassie had crippled me with a single blow. "Well I was trying to, but it doesn't seem like you need my help."

"I thought you were – " Cassie paused and changed to a different question. "What are you doing here?"

I was still struggling to breathe. Knowing that her parents were just down the hall meant that I couldn't cough too loudly, so I couldn't clear my throat.

"What if my parents catch you here? Or _your_ parents for that matter?" She demanded, when I didn't answer.

With difficulty, I dragged myself into a sitting position, leaning against the wall. Through the dim light, I saw Cassie move towards me and take a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Are you OK?"

"Fine." Despite my pain, I managed a smile, impressed by Cassie's ability to defend herself. Rubbing my throat, I tried to massage away some of the pain. "Like I said, maybe you don't need looking after as much as I thought!"

"Thanks." Cassie smiled. "And I am sorry," she pointed at my neck.

"Not your fault. You didn't know that it was me lying on the floor next to your bed. You did exactly what I would hope you would do if you found a stranger in your room."

Cassie nodded thoughtfully, before returning to her previous question. "So, why _are_ you here?"

"You were upset earlier and I didn't really want to leave you. My parents disappeared out of the apartment after I came back and so I sneaked out. I came here thinking that I could keep an eye on you whilst you slept."

_Keep an eye on you whilst you slept?_ Yeah, that doesn't sound creepy at all!

Cassie didn't seem to notice.

"And what about _my_ parents?"

"I was hiding outside at first, but then I saw both your parents leave a couple of hours after you fell asleep, so I crept in just to check you were OK."

"They left?" Cassie sounded uncertain.

I nodded. "Yes. But, they returned a little while ago."

"What time is it?"

I glanced at the miniature viewing screen on my wrist, which sat just next to the other wristband. It was quite a useful little device I'd built a few months ago: there were not as many functions as a normal screen, but it was good for detecting scanner positions, chemical analysis and, right now, telling the time. "Coming up to six o'clock." I stared into the darkness beyond the bedroom window. It would not last much longer. "The mirrors will be turning soon for morning."

"Fantastic!" Cassie rolled her eyes at me. "Now that my parents are back, how am I supposed to sneak you out of here?"

"Don't worry." I'd already figured this out while I was on the floor. "You can listen for them and let me know when it's safe to go. Then I'll come back to walk you to The Clinic."

Cassie went quiet for a few moments. "I can't hear anything," she decided. "They're not moving around, I think they must be in bed."

I shook my head, realising that she hadn't understood. "I meant that you should listen for what your parents are _thinking_ and see if it's safe for me to leave...I can hear for myself that they're not moving around."

She looked doubtful. "I don't know if I can do that. I've only ever heard people when I've been looking directly at them before."

"But, you've heard voices in your sleep," I reminded her. "That means you must be able to do it from a distance – you've just not done it consciously, until now." She still looked unsure. "It might just take a bit of practice," I encouraged. "Maybe if you try to focus on your parents particularly and listen for their voices, that might work?"

"OK," Cassie agreed, not sounding confident.

I sat silently as she closed her eyes. Her head inclined slightly, one way and then the other – as if she was trying to hear someone whispering.

"There's too many, I can't pick out anything."

"Just take your time." I took hold of Cassie's hands as they rested on her knees and gave them a gentle squeeze. Her eyes remained shut and she did seem to relax a little more.

Within seconds she was gone. I couldn't quite explain how I knew, but when I squeezed her hands, stroked her face, she didn't respond. It was as if she'd fallen into a deep sleep. I waited, it felt like forever, but maybe it was just a few minutes. Eventually, her eyes opened.

"What happened? Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," she replied, seeming surprised.

"That was so strange. It was as though you were somewhere else or asleep and I couldn't wake you..."

"When I closed my eyes all the voices became visible, like threads that I could pick out from one another and follow."

"No!"

Cassie nodded. "When I went along the strand I could see what people were thinking and even what they were looking at. By the way – I found my parents and you should leave now – they're in the kitchen and lounge from what I could tell."

"If you're right, that's an impressive leap forward in what you can do." I couldn't believe her ability was improving so quickly. "But..." I hesitated.

"But, what...?"

"Well...I was thinking. Just in case you're not completely right, maybe you should go out first..."

"I can't believe you're questioning me!" Cassie exclaimed with mock-indignation. "And it's not a very chivalrous request, either."

I chuckled as she stood, and offered me her hand, pulling me up from the floor.

"Come on," she said. "I'll detour via the bathroom on the way to cover any noise."

We padded silently across the room, Cassie's skin was warm against mine, where she still held my hand. At the entrance Cassie ran her palm across the pad and it beeped twice before opening.

My eyes flew to the control panel, and then my wrist, checking that the band was still in place. The door normally beeped once for each person passing through, but I'd definitely heard two. Cassie tilted my arm towards her, obviously checking the same thing as me. But, my mark was covered. The door had scanned her, and beeped twice.

With a sinking feeling, I guessed what must have happened. I didn't look at Cassie's mark to check, because I didn't want to scare her. But, I was confident that once I got home, removed my band and presented my own red mark to a scanner, it would now beep twice. It was a trigger.

Cassie stood still, confused by this new development. I leaned in close to her ear. "I'll explain what that means later."

She nodded to confirm she understood. Leaning cautiously through the doorframe, I watched as she peeked in both directions. Satisfying herself that there was no danger, she led the way out.

The hallway was much darker than her bedroom as there were no windows. But, we didn't need light to find our way, the layout was familiar to both of us. We coasted towards the dark outline of the apartment door, Cassie pushing me in front of her as we drew closer. In a split-second, she had swiped her palm to activate the panel and shoved me outside.

### Chapter 18

The apartment was still empty when I got home. Ignoring my empty bedroom, which I'd cleaned before going to Cassie's apartment, I headed straight to the shower.

I ran the water cold, to wake me up a little. Despite having not slept all night, I didn't feel too bad.

As the water pounded my head, I ran through everything I'd learned in the last few hours, trying to put it into order. The biggest surprise, in some ways, was how quickly Cassie's abilities were developing: from hearing random thoughts, to being able to focus and find one person in particular, was a big leap forwards. Without her input, from this unusual ability, I doubted I would have realised what was going on...

The process – if not the purpose for it – was at least becoming clear to me now. The various systems, including the transmitter inside me, tracked the changes The Council (or perhaps The Collective) was interested in. Everything I had found suggested that they were most concerned with our hormone levels and emotional state, leading to the point that these elements came together and caused a change in our marks. Black to red...it seemed like a warning.

I had wondered whether the change singled a maturing of something dangerous in us: that would explain why the removal of people was hidden as _elopements_. But if that was the case, surely with all the technology they used to track us, they could find a solution to whatever the problem was?

And I had seen Patrick, just a few hours before Cassie had seen him being dragged from his bed and removed from the Family Quarter. He hadn't seemed dangerous at all...or like he was planning to run away that night.

I sighed. I knew what was happening, I just didn't know why.

Shutting off the water, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Not bothering to dry off properly before leaving the bathroom, I dripped my way across the hallway to my bedroom. As I walked through the door, the sensor beeped twice. I looked down at my wrist, knowing what I would see before I actually did. My mark was bright red now.

I waved it back across the sensor and it beeped twice again. That was the signal, I realised, remembering what had happened in Cassie's room. I had wondered at the time, but now I knew. Cassie's mark must have changed during the night: her natural hormone levels, maybe even an emotional change, triggering the mutation.

Whatever the reason for the change, what was most important was what happened next: I remembered Cassie's nightmare and knew that they would come for us. Both our marks had changed, and both had now registered in the system. Time had run out.

I dressed without noticing what I was doing and then went rummaging through Father's office. It didn't take long for me to put together a collection of essential tools, and I placed the bag into a dark corner once I had finished. I guessed we had today and they would come for us tonight, so we had to behave as normal a possible.

Walking out of the apartment, I forced my racing heart to slow, not wanting to give The Council any reason to come for me more quickly. I was going to ask Cassie to leave with me today, but I wasn't planning on eloping...

* * *

Cassie bounced through her apartment door a moment after I activated the panel.

"Hello stranger!" I laughed, as she virtually fell on me. "You certainly seem happier to see me than you did first thing this morning."

"I was expecting you this time, rather than being scared out of my wits. Maybe if you had told me you would be hiding under my bed, I wouldn't have hurt you!"

"Maybe next time I won't be hiding _under_ your bed," I teased back.

"Yeah, well – I might have told you that was the first time I've had a boy anywhere near my bed...if I didn't mind sounding like a loser." Cassie's cheeks flamed, as her attempt at a joke stumbled into the truth.

"That just makes me like you even more," I said, leaning in close and letting my lips brush her neck.

"Let's get going," she said. Cassie took hold of my arm and steered me away from the apartment, trying not to sound flustered.

"Are you OK?"

She nodded, dismissing my question. Glancing at the apartment door, I guessed we were still too close to her parents for her to say anything more. I let her lead me away.

"So...?" I asked, once we reached the end of the avenue and turned onto the main Green Zone road that led towards the station's central hub areas.

"So...My parents think the change is close, _very_ close. They're completely focused on it now."

"Focused?" I frowned, that didn't sound good. "Focused how?"

"It's hard to tell. There were a lot of thoughts jumbling around and I didn't get the impression they were actually talking about it between them, it was more a mixture of individual ideas than a conversation. There was definitely excitement though, underpinning everything they thought about. And there was the indication that they would let others know, but that _the system_ would have already tracked the change...I remember that clearly. Other than that, it's hard to pull anything coherent together."

I grunted unhappily. Normally, I loved being right, but confirmation that the change in our marks would be tracked immediately was not what I wanted to hear. It would make it even more difficult to get out, as I imagined they would be monitoring us more closely than ever now.

Cassie seemed to have no idea that her mark had _actually_ changed, so I thought it would be best to keep her distracted. I kept up a stream of conversation as we walked, and again as we ate breakfast together near The Clinic.

Several times we joked about skipping placement altogether – imagined ourselves escaping to some park or another using our bands so we couldn't be tracked. But, it was too soon, and would raise suspicions. The only comfort I got from this, was that Cassie was desperate for a way out, just as I was. I felt sure that she would agree to come with me today. I had already decided that I would leave immediately after placement. It was the longest period of time we ever had alone, and would give us a head start.

We arrived late, dawdling too long over breakfast. Several times I thought of running now, but it wasn't the right time: we would be noticed faster if neither of us came to The Clinic today. We needed all the time we could get.

I timed our entry to the building with a group of Medics, hoping that Cassie wouldn't notice the double-beeps our marks elicited from the scanners. It seemed to work.

Splitting up we headed for our respective changing rooms. I dressed quickly, trying not to notice the crimson patch glowing dangerously on my arm. Joel was already there, just fastening his clinic whites, and we ended up leaving together.

Joel remained silent as we waited in the reception area. If I hadn't been so preoccupied with my own thoughts, I might have noticed the difference in him.

"No sign of Karl and Rachel yet?" I observed, trying to make small talk.

Joel shook his head. "Medic Karlina said they eloped last night."

"Rachel and Karl?" I was shocked.

"I know – I always thought Karl had a thing for Olivia – guess my judgement isn't great when it comes to romance."

I couldn't help but feel that there was some message, hidden in Joel's words, but I didn't have time to really consider what it might be. Cassie appeared by my shoulder, followed by Olivia a moment later.

Medic Karlina gave us no opportunity to talk between ourselves as she briskly briefed us on our assignments for the day: the four of us would be working alone, and not in pairs today. I immediately sensed Cassie's apprehension at this unexpected change to the routine.

We were dismissed from the orientation reception and made our way out to the main hall. I took the lead, wondering how I was going to tell Cassie what I had planned – we would be apart all day.

Each of us had a Medic dedicated to us today – another change – and they walked ahead of us in a small group, leading the way to our individual work locations. Cassie sneaked up to me as we walked.

"You were right about what the change they've been talking about is," she whispered. "I heard it in Medic Karlina's thoughts just now."

"You mean the mark?" I slowed my steps to keep pace with Cassie, but didn't turn my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I scanned her face and saw how scared she was. She had not looked like that before she went into the changing room, and I guessed that while she was in there, she had seen that her mark had changed. "Yours too?"

Her silence told me what I already knew.

"What now?" she asked, eventually.

"I don't know. But, you'll be pleased to hear that Rachel and Karl _eloped_ last night."

"What?!"

I just nodded.

Cassie's voice was a whisper. "I don't believe it..." She stumbled forward, nudging into my back.

With one hand I reached out to steady her – fearful that the four Medics around us would notice something was wrong. I turned around, to check that she was OK. She wasn't. Cassie's mouth hung open, in a small 'O' of shock. My suit had pulled up my arm as I reached for her, and Cassie was staring at the red mark on my wrist.

Our small procession halted then, so there was no opportunity to say anything more. The leading Medic opened a door to the right of us and directed me inside. I let go of Cassie – with great effort – and walked inside ROOM 7.07 BIOCHEMISTRY. Entering the room, the scanner beeped twice as it registered my mark. I looked back at Cassie and saw that she had connected all the pieces now. My own fear was reflected in her eyes, as she stared at me.

We had no more time for questions. Today I would make my plans, and tonight we would get out. We would get out, any way possible.

* * *

When Medic Jones re-appeared in the biochemistry lab, I'd had no choice but to get on with the task I had been set that morning. Whenever I was alone, I was resolutely ignoring the tests taking place around me, and running through various options for getting Cassie and I out of the Family Quarter.

The door to the lab opened, but I didn't bother looking up, expecting another Medic dropping something off.

"Medic Jones?"

Hearing Cassie's voice was a complete shock. I turned around and found her intent on the Medic, not looking in my direction.

"Hello Cassie," the Medic replied.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Medic Karlina asked me to bring Balik to the orientation reception."

My confusion deepened. What possible reason could Medic Karlina have for bringing Cassie and I together at this time of day? Whatever it was, I was sure it would not tie in with my plans – perhaps we could make a break for it now?

"Of course," I heard Medic Jones say. He turned to me then. "Please go with Cassie."

I was already on my feet before Medic Jones even spoke, responding directly to Cassie's words. She nodded politely to him as we left the room. Only I noticed that the scanner at the door only sounded a single double-beep instead of two. The Medic didn't react to the fact that it didn't detect Cassie at all.

Cassie led the way along the corridor, until she paused outside the doorway to the emergency stairwell. She looked over my shoulder, apparently checking the corridor behind me.

"Do you have your band with you?" she whispered, lifting her sleeve to reveal a pale flash of silver at her wrist, before letting it fall back into place.

I nodded and pulled the matching band from my pocket, slipping it onto my wrist. Cassie nodded back, and opened the door to the stairwell. The scanner made no sound at all as we passed through.

We walked down the stairs, our footsteps echoing quietly. The sound rebounded against the hard resin walls, before being muffled into silence.

"What's going on?" I whispered, as we hurried along.

"Father came to see me today, to tell me to go straight home this evening. His mind told me there would be a welcoming committee waiting for me to fall asleep. I checked in with your mother as well – just to be sure – there were identical arrangements for you."

"So, what are we doing?" I asked, half-realising that we were about to run away.

"We've no time left for working this out: we need to get out of the system and then decide what options we have."

I couldn't agree more.

We had reached the ground floor entrance level of The Clinic. I pulled Cassie back, just as she was about to lead the way out of the stairwell. Keeping her hand, I guided her back towards the stairs, which continued down another level, to the basement storerooms of The Clinic.

"If we're getting out of the system then we're going to need some supplies," I told her. _And where better to equip ourselves with clothes, medication and equipment than here?_

Cassie shrugged her shoulders, silently asking me what the hell I was talking about.

I grinned back. "This is where my irritating habit of wanting to know how things work, actually comes in useful."

### Chapter 19

I felt better dressed in the dark medic suit, with my band secured around my wrist. For a very short time, we would be safe in full view, while we worked out our next move. Right now, Cassie and I were moving swiftly along the pavement – but not at a speed that would draw attention to us – on our way to Park 42.

"Wait a minute," Cassie pulled on my arm, slowing my steps and turning me to face her in a single movement.

"What's up?"

"Park 42 – I heard my parents last night. They were going to report the blind spots in the system there to..." Instead of saying _The Collective_ , she raised her eyebrows to emphasise what wasn't said out loud.

"Do you think that will already have happened?" I was afraid to hear her answer. Right now, Park 42 was the only solution I had and felt like the safest place we could go.

Cassie nodded her head. "It sounded like they were concerned about where we'd been going – I think they were going to report it this morning."

"Great," I muttered, immediately deflated.

Wait a minute!

I had the stolen handheld viewing screen from The Clinic in my bag. It should be a simple process to get into the scanner system and track any activity in Park 42. As long as The Council or Collective, or whoever they were, hadn't already figured out that I was inside their systems.

Up ahead there was a small park, just at the edge of the Red Zone. Steering Cassie towards the entrance, we hurried inside. A minute later we were settling ourselves onto soft, dry grass in a small clearing, partially hidden on three sides by tidy, manicured bushes.

"What are we doing now?" Cassie whispered, noting our unexpected detour.

"I'm going to check some...umm...records," I replied, keeping my answer brief. I couldn't be sure where the nearest scanners were and didn't want to reveal anything too incriminating.

"OK."

"OK," I echoed, taking a deep breath and focusing on the task at hand.

The screen accepted my initial registration onto the Family Quarter's operating network and I flicked forward through the various options, until I located the scanner system. Then everything stopped. At first I worried that the screen itself had frozen, but the green light still flashed intermittently at the side of the handheld and so I knew it was trying to process. It must have been that my code was not good enough for access here.

I rummaged through my bag again, searching for my personal screen, where I stored the passwords and access codes I'd been able to find or decipher. Hopefully, one of these would work, because otherwise it meant hacking the system, and I'd never done that before.

To her credit Cassie sat patiently beside me while I muttered and grunted my way through various security blocks. I took out my frustration on the screen, punching the numbers and letters with increasing force, until... "There!" I got through the final screen and into the main directory of the scanner system. From here, it was reasonably straight-forward to navigate to the correct data screen showing the scanner at Park 42. When the figures finally appeared on-screen, I was disappointed with what I saw.

"What is it?" Cassie asked, taking my angry snort as a bad sign. She was leaning forwards over her knees now, trying to read the screen upside down.

"Well, there are no extra scanners in Park 42 yet," I muttered. "But, it seems to be rather more popular than usual."

Cassie shrugged her shoulders, not understanding what I meant and so I spun the viewing screen around so that she could see what I had been looking at. Reaching across, I pointed out the source of my displeasure: the number 46 in the _Current Visitors_ column. "Forty-six visitors inside the park on the last scanning cycle: all of them adults, all of them first time visitors." I explained.

"Looking for us?" Cassie panicked, her eyes flicking back and forth between the screen and my face.

"I don't think so," I replied, turning the idea over in my mind as I went back to studying the table of numbers. Nothing obvious jumped out at me and so I went with my gut feeling.

"I think if they were looking for us they would be looking near to The Clinic, not all the way across the other side of the Quarter. This is probably connected to what you heard your parents talking about...perhaps they're in the process of installing more scanners in the area..."

"OK."

Cassie appeared reassured by my answer. If only I had the same confidence I was correct, I might feel better.

"So, where do we go now then?" she asked.

I looked at the viewing screen and saw the time at the top. There was only another thirty minutes before we were due to leave The Clinic and go home, so we probably had an hour at the most before we were missed by our parents.

What were our options?

Perhaps, if we stayed away from the main inhabited areas for the next few hours – the agricultural sector was always quiet – we could head back to Park 42 under cover of darkness to investigate possible weak spots then. With a basic toolkit, we should be able to –

Oh no!

"I can't believe I was so stupid," I groaned, stopping just short of slapping myself on the forehead for being such an idiot.

"What are you talking about?"

My outburst obviously surprised Cassie. "We've no tools!" I explained, my voice rising with annoyance. "I can't believe I didn't think of this when I knew we were going to try and get out of here!" Punching my fist into the soft earth beside me, I took out my frustration on the fragile blades of grass. I had a limited stash of tools, hidden in Park 42, but nothing suited to what we would need. I'd even put the kit together that morning and hidden it in the apartment.

"How would we do it without tools?" I ranted at myself. "We're not exactly planning to walk up to the entrance of the Married Quarter and swipe ourselves in are we?"

Cassie nodded thoughtfully, taking in my words. She looked less worried than I felt.

"That's true," she said after a beat, forming her words carefully as she worked through things in her head at the same time. "But, we've got time to get tools from one of our apartments, before anyone knows that we've gone. Two of our parents are engineers and they both keep stuff in their offices at home, if we hurry we could get there before anyone realises we're missing."

"You're right." If we were quick, we might still get away with going home for the tools. But, it would be dangerous, so close to the time they were expecting us to be there...the time Cassie's father had instructed her to be home... My eyes flicked to Cassie, but I looked away before she could see what I was thinking. I knew she would argue against me – a lot – when I told her I was going alone.

Feeling warmth on my arm I looked down and saw Cassie's hand. The heat from her fingers chilled me, as my brain spun, searching for a plan that would keep her safe.

_This was the best way to do that_.

"I think you should wait here while I go for the tools. It's too risky for both of us to go."

"No way!" Cassie exclaimed, pulling her hand away. "You're not going there alone, especially not when we know what they have planned for us!"

I shook my head, just once, trying not to see Cassie in the same situation as Ami, but I couldn't help it: the image was there, imprinted in my mind. Just picturing her like that made me feel sick and angry. My hands clenched into fists at my sides, as I imagined the violence I would enact upon anyone trying to get close enough to hurt Cassie.

"We're staying together," she said, fixing me in an unwavering glare.

The scrutiny was uncomfortable, making me feel as though she could see deep inside me, to the dark places where I hid my worst secrets. I didn't want Cassie to see them... I didn't want her to see the lengths that I would go to, in order to keep her away from the people who would surely be searching for us in the next few hours.

"You can't leave me," she whispered, her shoulders curling inward as she turned away from me now. "You can't leave me. You promised."

I cringed, hearing her voice break. _Leave_ ... I was leaving, but only for a short while – only to keep her safe. There was some sense in staying together, but it made more sense not to risk getting caught together. I couldn't risk taking Cassie with me, so close to _them_ , when we still didn't know what was happening.

"You promised we'd stay together – no matter what happened."

Cassie pulled out all the stops to guilt me into changing my mind. And it worked. In fact, I felt worse than guilty, I felt like hell, because I knew she was right: I _had_ promised we'd stay together. But, I'd also promised myself that I would keep Cassie safe.

"OK, OK," I whispered back, hearing the hollowness in my voice as I agreed and lied in a single breath.

To hide my deception further – scared that Cassie would see the truth if I looked at her – I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her fragile-feeling body. "I know I promised," I said, kissing her head, leaving my face pressed against her hair. _And I'm sorry – because I can only keep one promise, and it will be the one that keeps you safe._ "You're right: we shouldn't split up, we'll go together. Don't worry, we've plenty of time."

"You're a bad liar," she muttered into my shoulder.

I laughed, hoping I was a better liar than she thought I was.

Easing Cassie away from her hiding place on my shoulder, I tilted her face up to mine. "Whilst we're talking about promises, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"You must promise that – no matter what happens to me – you will get out of here."

Cassie was shaking her head before I'd finished speaking. I drew her chin up, so that my eyes could find hers. "You _must_ promise me," I told her, _because I will not risk you, to save myself._

When Cassie nodded her answer, I wasn't sure whether I'd just exchanged a lie for a lie. I hoped she was telling me the truth, and had no choice but to accept her response as it was. I pulled her close in one last embrace.

"We'll cut through the Agricultural Sector from here, it'll be quicker," I told Cassie, turning my attention back to the viewing screen. I navigated away from the scanner readings for Park 42 and pulled up the information for the Agricultural Sector.

If we took a route through the food production and farming domes, it would be much shorter than going back across the Red Zone, and it should be a lot quieter. The scanner readings flashed on-screen and I saw – with relief – that I was right. Only an occasional person registered on the few scanners that covered the small paths between the domes.

I glanced at the time in the top corner of the screen. By the time we got there, most people would have finished work for the day or be inside one of the domes beginning their shift. We should be OK.

"Once we're clear, we should try one of the parks bordering the White Zone, so we're close enough to get into Park 42 once it gets dark." I decided, counting forward in my head. "I can't imagine the visitors will be there overnight, and our bands should cause enough confusion to keep them searching the populated areas for us first."

"So you think there's something there?"

"I don't know." I dropped my voice to a whisper. "But, whatever _The Collective_ is, judging by the number of people that have been in Park 42 today, they obviously agreed with your parents about it being a risk. And the service hatches they mentioned are the only option I can think of for getting out of here." Which was why I'd verified their existence and locations today, whilst I was supposed to be monitoring results in the biochemistry lab. "It's all we've got to work with."

"Let's go then!"

Cassie dragged up a half-smile for me and it made me feel hollow inside when I realised how precarious a position we were in right now. It was hard to say if our position was made better or worse, by the fact that we seemed to know things about what was happening, that our peers didn't.

I steeled myself. This was no time to be wondering and wallowing, we needed to move. Clambering to my feet, I lifted Cassie to stand beside me, before dropping the screen back into my bag and moving off.

Setting a quick pace, it took a few short minutes to get from the Red Zone to the edge of the Agricultural Sector. Normally, I liked the peace and quiet that surrounded the vast domes of the greenhouses. In the past I had spent many hours here, exploring the various units and peering into the enclosed domes to see what was growing inside. Today the domes felt ominous and foreboding as they towered over our scurrying figures. Thankfully, the pathways remained empty.

Cassie followed close behind me as we moved through the narrow lanes that squeezed between the hard, plastic walls. As we passed by a filter in one of the domes I was enveloped in hot, wet air and reminded why this route was generally unpopular as a way of getting from one side of the Quarter to another. It must have been a tropical environment inside – perhaps growing fruit. I paid it little thought as we moved on.

Cassie was panting as she trotted behind me, trying to match my pace. I wasn't deliberately making it difficult for her, but every second we lost felt important.

It was also guilt pushing my feet along faster, because I knew I was going to break my promise and leave Cassie behind. It was just for a short while _and_ to protect her, but it was exactly what I had promised I wouldn't do. I'd even selected the perfect spot to do it: close to boundary near my apartment, far enough from any alternative route Cassie could use to try and follow me.

Calculating this – using her weaknesses to get my own way – made me feel sick. It was a good plan though. I might have called it foolproof, except I'd never label Cassie a fool.

It wasn't far now. The main Agricultural Zone dropped away behind us and there were still no signs of life anywhere, except for the snippets of conversation drifting from the air vents on the domes we passed. Ahead, the three storey buildings of the Green Residential Zone were visible, instead of hidden behind the encroaching domes. I looked at the neat rows, which ended abruptly at the exterior wall of the Family Quarter.

At the next junction in the pathways, I turned away from the route that would lead us towards the main avenue that ran through the Green Zone. Instead, I led Cassie off the path and hurried across the grassed area that bordered the high boundary wall, separating the agricultural sector from the residential area beyond.

Cassie followed close behind as I moved along the wall. I stopped at the point where it met the corner of one of the electrical control rooms, supplying a nearby dome. Even though the wall was twice as tall as me, I knew that I would be able to use the sharp right angle where it met the other wall, to propel myself to the top. I knew this because I'd done it quite a few times before.

As I drew near to the area I needed, I sensed Cassie's hesitation. I turned and found she was no longer at my back.

"I don't know if I can get over this," she said, her words reluctant – hand reaching for her injured shoulder.

My stomach lurched as Cassie drew attention to the weakness I had been counting on to prevent her from coming with me. I swallowed the nausea and turned to face her.

"When I get to the top I'll reach down for you." I forced myself to speak around the dry tongue that threatened to stick my mouth shut. When Cassie nodded – accepting my lie – I had to turn away.

Standing with my back to her, I focused on the spot just a few feet away from me where the two walls formed a tight corner. Sucking in a deep breath, then another, I ran through the steps in my head a couple more times before I moved.

On the outward breath I sprang forwards, covering the ground to the wall in two swift strides. Inhale. My legs bent as I sucked air into my lungs then leaped upwards to the side of the control room. As my right hand and foot made contact with the solid surface, I pushed hard against them, letting some air shoot out of my chest as I shoved myself higher and backwards in the direction of the adjoining wall.

Left, then right; left and up!

I pushed my way to the top of the wall, breathing out with each step. Near the top I gripped onto the bricks and pulled myself the last few feet, feeling the muscles in my triceps burn as they supported the bulk of my body weight. Finally, I managed to swing my leg over the edge and roll onto my stomach.

I was up. Not wanting to risk anyone noticing me climbing over the wall, I didn't sit up. Cassie stepped forward and I saw her inspecting the wall. I closed my eyes.

_Please forgive me_.

When I opened my eyes, I was looking down at her. As Cassie's gaze rose to meet mine she froze, understanding something from my expression I obviously couldn't disguise. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

"I'm sorry Cassie."

"Sorry...?" She repeated, not seeming to understand.

I swallowed hard. "I'll go to the apartment and come right back for you."

"No, no..." Cassie's head shook from side to side, disbelief plain on her face. "No, you can't do this!"

I closed my eyes once more, trying not to see her disappointment in me crumpling her beautiful features. In the darkness of my eyelids her face was just as vivid.

"You promised you wouldn't leave me!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

Rolling off the wall, I landed gently on the other side, on perfectly manicured grass. I was already running towards my parent's apartment when I heard Cassie's voice behind me shouting my name.

Her voice! The pain I felt in that single word pierced me more painfully than any weapon I could imagine. I couldn't believe I would ever forget that noise. It sounded like pure betrayal. My eyes were wet as I raced onwards, and brushing the dampness away with the back of my hand I tried not to see Cassie's face in my head.

I'd lied to her. I'd left her.

Would she be able to forgive me?

* * *

Approaching the apartment building from the rear, I paused to scan the area. Neither seeing nor sensing anything unusual, I squared my shoulders and casually sauntered around the corner towards the main entrance.

It was a struggle to move at a normal pace. Adrenalin hammered through my body, while blood pounded in my chest: the instinct to run was battling with my head's decision to act normally.

_In and out, as quickly as possible_ ... The phrase repeated over and over in my head as I walked sedately up the stairs to my parent's apartment. For obvious reasons I'd already stopped thinking of it as _my_ home.

The apartment door slid open, revealing a dim and silent interior. My heart skittered for a beat or two as an ominous feeling settled over me.

Don't go in!

I ignored the warning that told me not to cross the threshold. Logic was what I needed. I had to follow through with my plan – _in and out, as quickly as possible_.

I peered into the shadowy corridor that joined the rooms of the apartment together. Everything was quiet and felt empty. As we had left the Red Zone park I'd checked the scanner reference points for my parents. One had been at work – as I expected them to be – the other appeared to be enjoying their first visit to Park 42.

Forcing my feet forwards, I entered the apartment and began my search. Two, maybe three, minutes passed as I raced between my bedroom, Father's office and the kitchen. In that time I filled an old workbag with the stolen viewing screen; several hammers, of various sizes; and wrench and spanner multi-tools that could perform several different functions or accommodate different sizes. Last of all, I stashed a small medical kit and some flasks of water inside the bag. There was no transportable food in the kitchen, so water would have to do. I could only hope we would be OK for a while without food, because I had no idea what we might find beyond the Family Quarter if we did manage to get out. Staying or leaving – both were terrifying thoughts.

Hefting the bag onto my shoulder, I wasted no time looking around the bland plastic space I had lived in all my life. There were no real memories here for me, no cherished moments or things to reminisce over: all that had stopped when I was eight years old and learned that life on the SS Hope was built on lies and questions. It was only recently, as I opened up to Cassie and saw something more, that I had begun to live. She had filled my hollow shell with life and awakened emotions in me that I thought were dead. Cassie was literally my life now. I turned my back on everything I had once been and walked out the door.

### Chapter 20

"Cassie?" I whisper-shouted beside the wall, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. It didn't feel like they were.

The grass behind the Green Zone apartments sloped upwards slightly and so the wall was not as high on this side. Stretching upwards, I pushed the workbag over the top, keeping hold of one strap to lower it on the other side before reaching my limit and dropping it the last half-metre or so. A soft thud reassured me that it was unlikely anything had broken. The same noise told me that Cassie had not caught it.

"Cassie?!" I called again, beginning to panic.

Surely she would be more concerned with getting out of here, than punishing me for leaving her?

"CASSIE!" There was no response.

Pacing three steps back, I took a running jump at the wall, locking my fingers onto the bricks and levering myself upwards so that my head and shoulders cleared the top. I peered over, finding nothing but the bag I'd just thrown over.

I swivelled my head in every direction, wondering where she might have gone...where she could be hiding... "Cassie?!"

Adjusting position, I moved my right arm forwards to get a better grip and froze when a flash of red caught my attention. In horror, I re-focused on the red spot and I looked down to see the mark emblazoned on my skin. Spinning in place to look behind me, my eyes raked across the grass I'd been standing on a moment earlier, but I saw nothing. My wristband was missing.

For a moment I couldn't think clearly of anything, blind panic took control. Disjointed thoughts and half-ideas spun through my mind as my breath became gasps. Gradually, clarity came back: Cassie had gone, my wristband was missing...were the two things connected?

"No." The word cracked in my throat as comprehension crashed over me. I'd left Cassie behind – broken my promise – but didn't believe that she would actually follow me: she was smart enough to follow my plan, even if she was angry with me. The only thing I could imagine that would make her come after me was if she thought I was in danger...which meant that she knew I'd lost my wristband, and that it must have happened before I went into the apartment...

"Oh no," I whispered, letting go of the wall and dropping to the floor.

My mark would have triggered the scanner system as soon as I entered the apartment – how could I not have noticed the double-beep of the scanner? I kicked out in frustration, jabbing my foot into the ground, not understanding how I could have been so blind. _They_ would know where I had been, and now Cassie was heading straight towards them.

As if on cue, to emphasise this revelation, the sky began to darken. One moment everything was normal and in the next instant everything was vanishing into shadows. In the distance an announcement began to transmit from viewing screens inside the apartments, as well as the outdoor plazas, it echoed menacingly through the air to my ears: _"Please be advised that emergency maintenance of the solar ceiling is required. For your own safety you are advised to return home as soon as possible. Normal operation will commence at sunrise tomorrow."_ The voice of the female announcer was gentle as ever, as she spread her lies. This wasn't for maintenance; this was for us...Cassie and me...

"Cassie." With her name on my lips I was already running. Nothing else mattered but finding her and keeping her away from The Council or Collective, or whoever it was that was coming for us under the cover of darkness.

As I neared the apartment a flash of white passed through the dim light ahead of me. "Cassie!" I called out, recognising her pale skin against the dark medic suit a moment too late. She was already gone. Forcing myself to move faster, I burst through the main entrance to the apartment building a few seconds behind her. "CASSIE!" I shouted up towards where the noisy slapping of her shoes on the stairs told me she was. She didn't stop and I was already taking the stairs two at a time, chasing after her as I ran through possible ways to escape the apartment block if they caught us inside. There was no easy way out – one entrance, one exit – fighting was the only option I could imagine if we refused to go with them.

When I reached the apartment I found the door fully open and, not worrying about silence now, rushed inside.

"Balik?"

I heard Cassie call my name in the darkness ahead and moved in that direction to find her standing in the living space with her back to me, eyes focused on the kitchen.

Not wanting to startle her, I reached forward intending to say her name so that she knew it was me, but at the last second Cassie must have seen my reflection in the window because I heard her suck in a deep breath to shout. Panicking, I clamped my hand across her mouth as gently as I could and whispered "don't scream." She struggled immediately, a reflex reaction, before processing my words. A second later Cassie stopped thrashing and sagged against me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, unable to stop myself. I obviously knew why Cassie was here: I'd figured that out a few minutes ago hadn't I... What I actually meant was: _why did you follow me instead of keeping yourself safe?_

Cassie twisted inside my arms to face me.

"No – time – " she gasped, her breath coming in gulps as she started pushing me towards the door. "They're coming here – now – you dropped your band – "

"I know. I thought it was here, that's why I came back." It wasn't quite the truth, but was probably the best way to get her out fast.

"You dropped it at the wall," Cassie choked out, opening her fingers to reveal the warm metal band in her palm.

Cassie had done exactly what I thought she had. "They know that I'm here and you came back for me." I said this mainly to myself, although Cassie nodded in response. Another few seconds passed before I dragged myself back to the situation at hand. "We need to – "

_Crack_.

My mouth snapped shut and my ears strained, trying to work out what the noise had been. It sounded as though it had come from outside the apartment. With one finger pressed to my lips, to tell Cassie to keep quiet, I guided her towards the empty office next to the kitchen and pushed her inside. Safely hidden, I turned my back on her, easing into a half-crouch, my legs slightly spread in a defensive stance.

Cassie touched my hand and I turned partway around, so that I could see her as well as the main entrance.

"There are three of them," she mouthed silently at me, holding up three fingers. "At least one has some form of sedative syringe," she held up one finger and then emphasised her words by miming a syringe being depressed.

For a moment I struggled to understand how Cassie could know this information, before I realised that she must be inside their heads. Her abilities were getting stronger much faster than I could have expected.

Three of them, armed with syringes: it sounded like the same kind of team that Cassie had _dreamed_ about when Ami was taken. Cassie was gesturing at me again.

"They're waiting at the entrance for you. They think it will be easier to ambush you in the hallway."

I nodded to show her I understood and pointed to my chest, then my feet to let her know I would be staying exactly where I was. Then I signalled for her to move back inside the office: this time my gestures were more pronounced, I had a feeling Cassie would resist and I was right. She shook her head – no – and I could see she wanted to join me, her eyes aglow with fear and determination. I shook my own head and pushed her away as she reached out again.

Please?

Eventually, she took one step back, disappearing into the shadows. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do. Right now, things didn't look good, but I might still be able to keep them away from Cassie: they only knew about me.

During the next few minutes there was near silence. I focused on my breathing to stay calm – just as I'd practised. The familiar pattern was soothing and as everything slowed down I let my senses take over. My ears strained to detect any further movements outside the apartment, my eyes scanned the room searching for possible weapons. Where my suit fitted closely I felt as though I was aware of every single fibre resting on my skin. Every sense was heighted. The air in the apartment was cooled for comfort, but as I drew it into my lungs now it was not comforting – just necessary.

I'd never actually fought anyone before and as the time stretched my mind began to race, making me more anxious. I could feel a rush about to kick in. Forcing my mind back to my breathing I tried not to let the fear take over.

One breath in, two breathe out, three breath in...

Counting through the breaths helped calm me faster. I couldn't risk having my adrenaline spike now before anything happened, it would leave me drained at the point I might actually need it.

A soft hiss from Cassie drew my attention, and I just _knew_ they were coming in. My body snapped straighter, muscles tightening as I waited for them to appear. There was no way back from here – I was ready. All I could hope was that they weren't prepared for me.

Three figures in black suits entered the living room. They looked like any other adult males from the Family Quarter, with the exception of the black gloves on their hands and the hard looking shoes on their feet, heavier than anything we wore normally. Maybe the taller man at the back looked different; there was an unfamiliar hardness to his features, his eyes were riveted to mine and when I looked into them I felt my stomach squeeze painfully. There was something dark behind his gaze that scared the hell out of me.

We stood in silence. They looked at me and I watched them back. I felt nothing, but assumed they must be trying to get a reading on my thoughts. Cassie would know what they were thinking – what they might be planning – all I could do was wait.

"Balik," the man at the back addressed me.

His gruff voice was as cold and hollow as his gaze, and it made me want to turn and run. I fought to keep my mind blank as panic pushed my heart rate higher.

"You need to come with us. The Council have instructed us to collect you."

"The _Council_ ...really?" I worked to keep my voice light, conversational. My only advantage would be my desire to fight back and I didn't want to give them any indication of my plan. "I don't think that can be right, I haven't disobeyed any rule. You must want someone else."

"You have been identified as having a fault in your marking," the man replied, appearing mildly frustrated. "The faults are connected to odd behaviour – it's affecting several people on your Clinic placement – we're just here to help you get some treatment."

"I'm sure that's right, but I'm quite happy with how I'm behaving, so I'll not go for treatment if that's OK."

"Unfortunately that's not an option," he argued back, his voice becoming a growl. "You are coming with us one way or another. You're a danger to yourself and others."

I shook my head: no. There was nothing wrong with me – or Cassie – this was all down to them and they knew it.

A split-second later the two men closest to me sprang forward, aiming for my middle judging by their approach. The one to my left was faster, his target lower. At the last possible moment I dodged to the right, out of his way letting him fall past me. The other man was smaller, but aiming higher and so I dropped low to ram into his midriff and spin him over the top of my shoulder – his weight hit me hard, he was more solid than I expected – but momentum helped carry him forward and I heard him land awkwardly on the floor behind me.

I didn't look back. The adrenaline was flying fully through me now and my attention was drawn, not to the man I'd just tossed over my shoulder, but straight ahead to the open door of the apartment, five paces from where I stood. The tall man was positioned in the corner of the room, too far away to stop me if I ran. My feet twitched – a natural flight response, but I resisted – I couldn't flee because the only real chance Cassie and I had together was to stand and fight.

In the two seconds it took me to make these observations and discard them, the first figure righted himself and changed direction to lunge at me again. I couldn't sidestep him this time and so I punched into the softness of his stomach. The blow landed with a loud smacking noise and he exhaled in surprise stumbling back a step.

It would have been satisfying, except an intense burning in my knuckles sidetracked me. It was as though I'd punched a piece of wood, not just muscle or flesh – that couldn't be right. The distraction was momentary, because my body was already moving automatically forward: the routines I'd created and practiced encouraged me not to stop, but keep fighting. Advancing on the falling figure I landed a low kick on his knee as he staggered. At the point of contact I forced my foot down hard against the resisting bone and felt something snap beneath my shoe. It was accompanied by a sickening _crack_ and I expected him to scream or shout or _something_ , but he didn't: he made no sound at all, simply dropped to the ground.

Preoccupied with my confusion at his unnatural response to the pain of having his leg snapped, I forgot about the other man, and wasn't fast enough to avoid the first punch he threw at me as he found his feet once more. I cried out – involuntarily – in amazement. The force of it sent me spinning into the wall. My face hit it with a dull thud – flesh and bone jarring beneath the thin membrane of skin – and I tasted blood on my lips.

Shock cloyed at me, trying to drag me back, slow me down or make me run...but then more adrenaline punched into my system, overriding my initial inertia. I'd never been hit before, and the force of the punch stunned me – it was so much harder than I would have thought possible.

_MOVE!_ My mind was screaming at me, but it was hard to shake off the confusion – this wasn't right. Pulling myself back upright, I turned to face him. The man stood before me still, several inches shorter than I and definitely lighter.

_It wasn't right!_ He was too strong – impossibly powerful for his size – and his fist had felt like...what...?

_Wrong. They felt wrong_.

It was just the same as when I hit them: the impact didn't feel right, it was as though they were more solid than a normal human body should be.

Could it be some form of armour beneath their clothing?

No, that wouldn't explain their unnatural strength...

Perhaps they heard these questions in my thoughts – although I was sure that my confusion must have been plain on my face – the one who'd hit me let out a roar, or maybe it was a laugh, as he swung towards me again.

Spinning away, I dropped low and swept my leg along the ground kicking the man's feet from under him. He dropped heavily to the floor for a second time, but now there was no pause before the man stood back up and moved towards me for a third attempt. On my right I heard the other man – whose knee I'm sure I'd smashed – getting to his feet as well.

This was not going to go well for me. I was outnumbered, they were abnormally strong and – looking at the man standing with a broken knee as though he felt no pain at all – it appeared I was unable to harm them. I had absolutely no clue what was going on, or how this was possible, but it was just something else to add to the list of _things I don't know_ , because there was no time to process anything right now. Preparing myself for the inevitable, my gaze swivelled from one man to the other, wondering who would attack first. That was when they both froze in place.

Why had they stopped?

I watched the man to my left wobbling on his damaged leg. A large lump protruded from the front of his knee, straining at the material of his suit. I couldn't begin to guess how it was possible for him to be standing up, apparently unconcerned by what looked like a compound fracture in his leg.

Looking from one face to another, I found only staring eyes, focused on me. There was no warmth about their features, and no flickers of emotion – anger, excitement, pain – revealing what was running through their minds. There was just...nothing. I was sure that every thought, every fear, must be painted plainly across my face; they would probably know exactly what I was thinking without needing to use their ability to read my mind.

"Not quite what you expected?"

It was the taller man at the back who addressed me, the one who had not tried to attack me – yet. He must be some sort of leader, directing the other two men.

_Not what I expected..._ His words repeated in my mind as I heaved in a breath. How could I not be shocked?

I'd spent years feeling like some deviant Neanderthal, intrigued with working out why men were violent with one another and how we had evolved that way. Now I found that there was some secret division that existed on the space station, oriented around exactly that. Why would they be needed – why would violence be something they prepared for – if our society was so perfect and peaceful?

"What you can do – it's unusual – we haven't seen _real_ fighting for quite a while now." He shrugged dismissively. "I thought it must have died out."

There was scorn beneath his words and it irked me, although it was his second comment that caught my attention. It sounded as if he had experienced violence on the station itself. That was something I'd never heard before, or even considered: we'd always been told that the peace and segregation agreements were decided before our ancestors left Earth...is it possible that the violence followed them to the SS Hope?

"It's very impressive, of course, but it won't get you anywhere." The same man spoke again, his eyes raking across my face, searching for some kind of a response.

_Was it possible that I was still managing to conceal my thoughts from them?_ I wouldn't have thought it possible, especially in my panic during the fight, but perhaps I was wrong.

"Huh." Was all I said; I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of distracting me. Whether they expected me to fight back or not, whether I had any chance of winning or not, it didn't matter. I _was_ going to fight them, with everything I had. And I wasn't going to wait for them either.

Focusing on the more vulnerable looking figure I feinted towards them, encouraging him to try and catch me. He took the bait and lunged, but his injury slowed his approach and seizing the moment of weakness as his weight pulled him forwards, I grabbed hold of his wrist. With a single, sharp jerk I yanked him in then forced him roughly to the ground. The _snap_ of a shoulder dislocating cracked through the otherwise silent room.

I loosened my hands and stepped back, leaving the man on the floor, expecting him to stay down. Within moments he was getting back to his feet. It was obviously a struggle, but mainly because of his injured leg and arm, not because he was writhing in agony – as he should be. _What the hell were these people?_ How could someone stand such pain?

The injured man leaped for me as soon as he found his feet, despite his right arm being near useless and hanging limply at his side. From the corner of my eye, I saw the other man circling to attack as well. A hand gripped my arm: it was the wounded man trying to pin my arm down, but he wasn't strong enough. I pushed him away easily and he fell to the side. Unfortunately, the second figure was faster: his arms wrapped around my chest in an instant, locking my arms tight to my body.

Struggling to free myself I spun around, trying to dislodge the heavy man. As we whirled past I saw Cassie move in the shadows.

No!

There was fear in her eyes, concern for me and I knew that she was going to reveal her position to try and help.

"DON'T!" I screamed through gritted teeth. The word choked off when my assailant clamped his arm around my throat. _"Please,"_ I begged inside my head, hoping that Cassie would hear me without spoken words.

I couldn't breathe. The man's arm had become a vice around my neck, reducing my movements to nothing. Terror flamed inside me, pushing me to struggle harder, but I couldn't shift him.

They must have sensed me weakening because his companion approached now, a syringe in his good hand, primed and ready.

NO! I would not give up.

With my right leg I kicked backwards at the shin of the man holding me, aiming for the soft spot on his foot when I couldn't get a clear shot higher up. It should have hurt him: the impact jarred my heel and ankle. Nothing changed though – his grip remained tight.

I tried again, shoving hard against him and pressing my feet into the floor to lever myself backwards. It was enough to move me away from the syringe and three paces back we slammed into the wall. The impact loosened his grip for a precious moment and I pulled my arms loose.

Mobile once more, I lunged forwards, smashing my forearm into the man's throat as he approached with the needle. He fell to the ground and this time he did not move.

I had no time to process being surprised at my sudden success, as the other two men – the one who'd not approached me so far - flew ferociously at me now. There was nothing I could do to get away. The first man grabbed me around the chest again: pinning my arms against my sides, his forearm pulling hard on my throat. I was instantly immobilised. The leader was already on the floor, diving for the syringe that was still in the limp hand of my fallen attacker.

There was no way to resist them as they wrestled me to the floor, kicking my legs from under me, choking me into submission. My hands and feet lashed out ineffectually and I knew it was over: they were going to take me.

"NO!" I shouted out to Cassie, hoping against hope that she was not thinking of doing anything stupid, like trying to help me. I was beyond that now. Dragging up the images from my memory I pushed them out to her, reminding her of the promise she'd made me only a short time ago. _"No matter what happens to me – you will get out of here."_

I bucked my hips, still trying to wriggle free. With an angry grunt, one of the men shifted his weight onto my chest, straddling me and preventing my legs from lifting up to kick at them. My arms burned as they were pressed into the floor, held tight at the elbows. As the needle slid into my arm I felt a small prick, and then...nothing. For a few seconds the drug had no effect, then it swam deeper into my system and began to take hold.

At the edge of my sight, things began to get fuzzy. I blinked, trying to clear my vision, but it only got worse. One of the men leaned in close over my face, but all I saw was a pinky-coloured oval.

"Where's the girl?" he asked.

_I'm not speaking to you, bad man._ A little sing-song voice floated through my mind and swinging my head away from him, I slurred: "not – saying – "

With the last conscious thought I could summon, I did my best to protect Cassie. I pictured her alone and scared, cowering in a dark corner of an engineering plant room. From my memory, I picked one with lots of pipes and cabling so that it would not give them a clear target.

" _I'm sorry, Cassie,"_ I whispered to the darkness inside my head...then I let it swallow me.

### Chapter 21

Consciousness came back to me slowly. I became aware of my body first: muscles aching from the fight in my parents' apartment. My neck was stiff from lying at an odd angle...the surface beneath my head was firm...the floor maybe? And my tongue was fluffy and tasted of acid when I swallowed.

I wanted to open my eyes to sit up and look around, but even lying down I could tell I was still too dizzy from the drugs to be able to do that. So, I listened instead.

Everything was quiet really. I could make out no sounds beyond the soft whir of an airflow unit and my own breathing. After a while of listening to nothing, the dizziness and nausea began to pass and I was able to open my eyes. When I sat up, the room swam and even with my head between my knees, it took a good thirty seconds to stop. Blinking seemed to be a major task: when my eyelids drooped they didn't want to open again.

What was in that syringe?

More time passed and I found myself looking around the small grey, windowless room I was in and wondering. I wondered where I was. I wondered about Cassie: what was she doing, where was she, was she safe...? After a while I took to wondering about what was going to happen to me, but I didn't have any positive answers to offer and so I stopped thinking about that.

Instead I counted my bruises – there were quite a lot – and analysed the fight in the apartment. There were so many things I'd noticed that weren't right, but hadn't had time to process when I was in the middle of everything: now I had some time on my hands. I began with the obvious things.

Each of the men had been stronger than I expected. Not just a little stronger: they had been unnaturally strong, in relation to their stature and build.

What would cause that?

Drugs, perhaps, but the difference seemed too big from what I could remember. When they'd managed to hit me, it was like running into something solid, not a flesh-and-blood person. The same when I hit them: even their weak spots felt more substantial than I would have believed possible...perhaps they wore some kind of flexible armour... But, why would they need armour? What had they said about not having to fight...I dragged the words up from my memory.

" _What you can do – it's unusual – we haven't seen real fighting for quite a while now."_

I was unusual – I'd always kind of known that – but perhaps I was not as different from other humans on the SS Hope as I'd always thought. If those men had experienced fighting on the Station, surely that meant that life had not always been as peaceful as we were led to believe...and how old did they look? The same as every other adult I'd ever seen in the Family Quarter: thirty, maybe forty years old. Did that mean within the last generation there had been violence on the station? Perhaps there was truth in their system after all: we were separated for our own safety...

That would be quite a nice and neat explanation, if it weren't for the fact that the men appeared to experience no pain from any of the blows I landed on them, with the exception of when I caught that one guy across the throat. When I hit them, my main successes had been related to momentum, using their movements and weight to dislodge them or unbalance them...but for all of that, none of their reactions demonstrated that they felt any sort of pain.

How could you stand on a broken leg, or move normally with a dislocated shoulder?

Their reactions had been all wrong. You could not experience that level of pain and not show it. I pictured Cassie after her fall: the limited movements, intense pain around her shoulder, nearly blacking out...

When Cassie had been injured, the effects were immediate and debilitating; just as they had been with the children I saw at The Clinic, when we dealt with them after accidents. I didn't believe for one moment that Cassie was weak and these men were not. Their reaction to their injuries was just the same as their extra-strong bodies: unnatural.

Children.

The word bubbled through my mind, as if it were significant. For a few moments I could not think why, but then I realised what my subconscious was telling me. We only ever treated children at The Clinic – some were about our age, but I had never seen an adult being taken for treatment.

_Why had I never realised this?_ I could have kicked myself for not seeing something so obvious before now.

_What connected all these things?_ I began laying out my observations one by one.

The adults I fought with didn't feel pain; the adults in the Family Quarter didn't appear to get sick or have accidents that need treatment. Their bodies felt different to ours: the normal points of weakness did not exist, and they were much stronger than they should be.

Then there was the mind communication. Again, only the adults seemed to communicate with one another using just their minds – with the exception of Cassie, it didn't appear to happen in the children and young people. And, they worked hard at hiding this ability from us.

Did they hide it to keep us safe?

In many ways that would make sense: so much of what we did or didn't do was connected to protecting us, from what I had seen.

Until now...

That was true: the situation had changed. What happened in the apartment confirmed everything Cassie had said – everything she had seen in her dreams. What I couldn't understand was why the adults would work so hard at keeping us safe, but at the same time, have no issue with removing us violently from the Family Quarter. The sedative they had given me had not diminished my memories... Did that mean they didn't care what I remembered...?

My list of observations made nothing clear. I found myself asking the same two things over and over: how could any of this be possible? And what did it mean. Unfortunately, right now I didn't have an answer for either question.

* * *

The door to my room slammed open – I'm not sure when I'd begun thinking of it as _my_ room, but that seemed to fit – and three men entered. All of them wore the same black day-suits as the ones from the apartment. In fact, as my eyes focused on the man in the centre of the group, I recognised him as the leader who'd injected me with the sedative.

"Hey," I said, with a half-wave of my hand. With no real idea of what was going on, or what might actually happen to me, I had few words to share. I didn't even bother standing up from the corner where I'd settled.

The group paused a few paces away. I thought the two unfamiliar men looked a little nervous. Not the one in the middle: he looked...odd. A strange mixture of anger and excitement coloured his features. I was so accustomed to adults with impassive, near-emotionless faces, that seeing someone agitated in this way was unusual. I won't lie: it unnerved me.

"Where I am? What am I doing here?" I asked, directing my question at the man who was obviously in charge. With some effort I was able to keep the fear I felt from leaking into my voice.

"It's not a time for questions, Balik – not yours anyway – we'll be taking you elsewhere for an... _interview_ ...shortly."

My heart sank at his words. The way he said it did not make an _interview_ sound like a good thing.

"Where am I – why am I here?"

No one answered me and in those few, short seconds, I felt a shift in the atmosphere. I didn't want to sit any more: it felt wrong to be looking up at the men from a position of weakness. Tipping myself forwards I intended to get to my feet, but that never happened.

The man who'd been speaking leapt at me, grabbing me roughly by the shoulders. I have no idea how it was possible, but he managed to clamp my arms to my sides immobilising me, at the same time as dragging me to my feet. His strength was abnormal. It was terrifying.

Caught off guard by the sudden attack, I didn't even try to fight back. They had me where they wanted me – wherever that might be – I just hadn't expected more violence. It wasn't necessary.

"What's the matter, boy – no fancy kicks and punches now?"

His face was inches from mine, words sneering and filled with contempt. I struggled hard, hoping to break his grip on me, but it was useless.

"I've not lost anyone in years!" He growled, pulling me closer, squeezing me even tighter. "And then you come along – a little genetic freak throw-back – and with a lucky blow take out one of us."

I opened my mouth to speak and then closed it. I had nothing to say.

His voice became a whispered hiss. "You're going to pay for what you've done to me...and then you'll tell us where your friend is hiding."

For the first time since the men entered, I'd found out something useful. Cassie must still be out there: if they hadn't found her, that could only be a good thing, couldn't it?

He let go of me so suddenly that I fell backwards onto the floor, hitting my head, hard, against the wall behind me. The commander – that's how I thought of him now – straightened up, a small smile twitching at his lips, and headed out of the room.

"Make sure he does as he's told," he ordered the two guards he left behind. His words were spoken aloud for my benefit, not theirs – he was threatening me.

* * *

It was obviously time for my interview.

The door slid open, two men entered and the door closed behind them. Now, I stood as soon as they appeared, knowing that I couldn't afford to put myself in a position of weakness again. With my back pressed into the wall I waited, and watched them.

The two men hovered by the door. Both looked small and weak, but I knew that meant nothing. They were inhumanly strong, these creatures. I'd learned quickly, but not fast enough to protect myself back at the apartment. Now it was different: I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by fighting back. And, even better, knowing that everyone has a weakness, I was sure that I had guessed theirs.

Waiting for them to come back, I'd had time to think about the commander: what he'd said and how he acted. His unconcealed violence, in front of his men, told me that I was not safe here. I hadn't been able to fully work out what being _a genetic throw-back_ meant, although I suspected it had to do with my aggressive behaviour.

What I realised was that he sounded most angry when he talked about _losing someone_. I could only assume that I'd killed, or severely injured, the man that had gone down in the apartment when I hit him across the throat.

_A lucky blow_ , the commander had called it. Ironic that he would use that word given our society's preference for logic and reason over luck...but I believed he was right, it was lucky – for me – in more ways than he might have guessed.

I had already decided to fight. They were still looking for Cassie and perhaps distracting them by causing trouble here was the best assistance I could give her. It scared me that I might not be concealing my thoughts any longer and didn't want them inside my head.

What better way to stop them wanting to talk to me, than making them want to hit me?

When I put it in words, it sounded like a terrible idea, but it was the best I had and anyway, I suspected that being thrown around by the commander had been just the beginning...attacking might be my best defence.

My attention flicked back to the two men. They remained close to the door, although one had moved forward a little way into the room. He was closer to me. Just as before, I detected fear. It was in the way they stood, baton-like weapons clutched tightly into shaking hands. It was in the way their eyes followed my casual, minute movements as if I might explode at any second. I wondered again about being a genetic throw-back: perhaps they hadn't seen anyone like me in a long time, perhaps they weren't prepared for me.

"How are we gentleman?" I offered a cordial smile with my words, which neither man returned. "I believe it must be time for my interview."

Ignoring my last remark, the man closest to me took another step forward, his colleague by the door copying him a moment later.

"You are to come with us. There is another room for you to be interviewed in." The man at the back spoke with stilted words.

"That sounds jolly." I pushed myself away from the wall.

"Don't move any further!" The man closest blurted out, his stick rising.

"You don't have to be nervous," I told him, fixing my eyes onto his, "I'd just like to talk to you before we go."

"We are just here–"

He didn't get chance to finish what he was saying because that was when I leapt. Instead of moving forward to help him, his partner panicked and moved back towards the door, shaking his baton a little higher, but nothing more than that.

Circling the first man, who was now in the middle of the room, a sense of power filled my chest. "Don't you want to talk to me?" I goaded him. "I thought you wanted to talk to me... to ask me questions." I felt like a predator, playing with a helpless animal. But I had to remember, he wasn't weak...scared, yes...but not weak. I would have to be fast to take him down, like I intended.

He watched with wary eyes, his weapon pointed straight out towards my chest – his hands still shaking. The room was quiet for a short moment – fear and indecision hanging in the air as if it had frozen there. That's when I attacked.

Everything moved at once. His arms and weapon flurried ineffectually in the air as I dived towards him. Two gentle popping sounds accompanied a breeze-like sensation passing by my arm and head, and I guessed that his weapon must have fired some sort of shot. Thankfully it missed.

Spinning to the side I avoided my target's arm as he brought the weapon around to hit me, and ducking behind him, I escaped the series of shots that his colleague fired from the doorway. Each of the blasts – four, I think – smashed into the guard's body instead, making him stumble backwards onto me. He showed no other effect than that from being hit, though I was sure it would not have been the case if the shots had hit me.

Keeping the man's body between me and his partner, I landed swift punches to the soft area in his back over his kidneys. But there was no soft area – just as I suspected – and I realised there was only one way to end this, as I wanted.

My chance came as the struggling man tried to throw me off his back, where I'd fixed myself, holding on tight to the material of his suit. He swung his arm too wide and high to do anything productive, but I was able to slide my arm under his and lock it around the back of his neck.

Still trying to dislodge me and provide his colleague a clear target, he stepped from side-to-side. I pulled back with all my weight, using the only real weapon I had against his strength. It slowed his movements enough that I remained behind him, blocked from view. With a final surge of effort, I grunted a deep breath of air as I pulled myself higher on his back, and drew back my free hand.

"Shoot him now!" He screamed. It was too late for him and he knew it.

Maybe he thought speaking aloud might stop me?

It wouldn't, but he might have thought it. No. My target was clear – the man's throat was exposed – and with a final glance at his companion, I pounded my fist into the soft hollow of his neck.

The effect was immediate and conclusive. As my knuckles made contact with the only yielding part of the man, his body crumpled to the floor. I landed heavily on top of him, jarring myself but struggling immediately to untangle my arm from beneath the deflated figure. A second or so later I was on my feet, ready for the next attack. But it didn't come: the man by the door was frozen in place.

Shock.

I realised this at the same time I grasped that I had been right: the weak spot in the neck was key. I might not know why, but I knew it was. And, the reaction of the other guard told me that this did not happen normally.

Even though the man at the door had not moved, it slid open silently. With a gut-wrenching screech of rage, the commander burst into the room, diving straight for me. Spurred by anger and with speed and strength I couldn't match he grappled me to the ground and landed a volley of punches to my head and stomach. The best I could do was lift my arms to shield my head; there was no way for me to fight back.

"How did you do it, you freak?!" His blows rained down on me, punctuating his words. "This – isn't – right!"

Finally, he let me go. I rolled onto my side, thinking to stand up, but I was too disoriented. My arms remained over my face and I felt warm wet trickling across my fingers; it could only have been blood. Breath wheezed from my chest and I wondered whether he might have just broken my ribs. It seemed likely.

The room remained quiet, but I knew both men were still there: shuffling feet, then a thump as something hit a wall. Beneath my arm I opened my eye to see. One was already swelling shut with bruising, so I couldn't see well, but I saw that I was alone with the commander now. Perhaps the noise I'd heard had been him throwing the other man out.

"How did you do it?" He asked, barely concealing the fury in his voice.

I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to talk to this _creature_. I had no idea what was wrong with them, but I couldn't believe that we were both the same. It was impossible to believe that we were both human.

"YOU WILL ANSWER ME!"

The weight of his body was on top of me in an instant, ripping my arms away from my face and forcing me to look at him.

"How are you doing this? How are you blocking us out? It isn't possible!"

I shook my head, not daring to speak. Not daring to hope that somehow, however impossible it might seem, he couldn't read my thoughts.

"Answer me!"

His hand slapped into my cheek, stinging but not stirring me to respond.

"There is something wrong with you. You are not like the others – how can that be?"

Leaning away from me, he scrutinised my face as he sneered his question through clenched teeth. Again I stayed silent; it felt like he was talking more to himself than me.

"None are violent now. No one questions our setting or rules – so why do you?"

"I like working things out." I replied, tasting blood in my mouth.

"And my men," he asked, his voice growing soft, "how did you _work that out_?"

I couldn't help myself – I had to gloat, he'd told me it himself. "I don't know, a _lucky throw_ , I guess."

Realisation registered on his face as my words sank in, his features twisting into a mask of fury. Without a word the commander yanked me forwards, rolling me towards him so that I could see his face as he pulled his fist back and swung. This time the pain blossomed bright and red inside my head, the blow finding its mark. When the red faded to black, I slipped gratefully into the darkness.

* * *

I looked from one face to another – the _men_ were bland duplicates of one another and I found them completely lacking, now that I had decided they were not human. One of them nodded encouragingly, offering me a half-smile, like he fully expected me to turn Cassie in. _They_ knew nothing at all.

Their commander was completely different. There was something more deadly – more human? – about him. Even though I hated to admit it to myself, his volatility and emotions made him seem different to the others I had seen.

What made him different?

Since their first attempt to remove me from _my room_ , they had not bothered again. Instead, they had returned with a table and chairs...and restraints. So here we were...my interview...there had been so many faces now, so many questions, I had no idea of how long I had been here.

The pair in front of me turned toward the door in unison, responding to some unheard command I guessed. It looked as though I was getting a change of company...

A few seconds later the door opened, revealing the two guards who now stood permanently outside my door and a third familiar figure. In silence they swapped places, so that I was left only with the commander when the door slid shut.

Beneath the table my fingertips pressed together so hard, it felt like I was crushing them into one another. Ever since he had battered me the first time, the leader, who sat opposite me now, had spent every waking moment we were together trying to goad me into lashing out at him. So far I'd managed to resist the intense temptation, but only just. With my hand shackled beneath the table and my feet bound, it would not have been a smart move on my part, but it was tempting – so tempting.

I'd been beaten several times – although there was only this _man_ and one other in his team who seemed to have a proclivity for violence – and I had sense enough to know that if he wanted to, they could easily kill me. I still couldn't understand where their strength came from, all I knew was that there was something much more dangerous inside them, something I feared more than pain or violence.

Was he inside my head?

I couldn't tell. I felt like I was blocking them but I couldn't be sure.

"I'm heading across to the Family Quarter in a few minutes, Balik. Cassie will be with me by the end of the night – she can't keep hiding...unless she's dead that is." He grinned, enjoying the discomfort I was unable to hide when he spoke of Cassie. "Are you sure there isn't anything you'd like to tell me about you two? Maybe something filthy that only the two of you know? I know how you kids can be – driven by your hormones and instinct..."

I turned away, looking down at the table in silence.

"Come on Balik! You don't need to be shy any more – not with me – we've spent lots of time together haven't we? Surely that counts for something."

I stayed quiet, knowing that this was just the beginning.

* * *

On and on, round and round. And round. Question after question. No rest. No peace. No respite. My head was spinning giddy and all the words began to overlap with one another until I believed that I might actually be going crazy.

"Stop talking, stop asking me!" I cried out.

It didn't help. The questions still came and as I bit down hard on my bottom lip, I realised I was talking. Words were pouring out of my mouth, even though I wasn't thinking about them and couldn't concentrate enough to understand what I was actually saying. I tried to stop, clamping my bound hands across my mouth, terrified that I was really voicing my thoughts, terrified of what I might give way.

_Think of something else. Think of nothing._ _Think of nothing at all._

I began repeating these words over and over in my head to block out the other voices. Hundreds and thousands of times I said them, until finally my mind closed down and the world stopped spinning.

* * *

I woke up with a start, my head bobbing low on my neck and startling me awake. Everything was stiff and sore: my neck, my hands, my head... There was nowhere on my body that didn't ache from being bruised and battered, or from sitting in the same position for hours on end.

Looking up I found the commander was still with me.

Had I slept for long or just a minute?

A second thought occurred to me: was it sleep or had I been unconscious again?

Sitting here – staring at each other in silence – was worse than the incessant questioning. Even though I wasn't going to answer his questions, I couldn't help but wonder why they had stopped.

I hated it here so much. Oh, to get away. Far away, to a place I had never even seen before – anywhere but here with these creatures.

Even if I couldn't get up and physically leave the table, I could escape a little couldn't I? I let my eyes glaze over, staring unseeingly at the blank grey wall and imagined.

Cassie...Cassie...

I could see her in a school lesson, chewing on her lip nervously before giving a presentation...so self-conscious, not aware of how beautiful she was... At the park, lying beside me in the grass, eyes closed, skin pale but luminous...smiling to herself at some unspoken thought... Kissing her...

I smiled despite myself when I remembered how easily Cassie would blush when we drew near. She did make me laugh. More memories: my heart swelling inside my chest when I recalled how it felt to have her touch my skin and press her body to mine...

That's right, I coaxed myself, just drift away from here and think of Cassie, safe and alive.

"Balik."

I heard my name, but it sounded a long way away. And it wasn't Cassie speaking and so I didn't really care.

"Balik!"

The voice was more insistent now. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a grey wall. Thick fingers gripped my face and pulled my gaze towards the face of a man. Blinking a few times, my vision cleared and I recognised the commander. I knew where I was again.

"I'm leaving, Balik. To find Cassie, just like we discussed."

Discussed?

Had I talked to him about Cassie? No! I wouldn't have. No – Cassie had only been here with me, inside my head. She was just a picture now, a beautiful memory from when I'd felt something wonderful...felt something other than pain and confusion.

"There are Medics coming to see you. They need to do some tests to find out what's been going wrong with you, and then...well, you don't need to think about that really."

My stomach lurched and I rocked forward, heaving. Nothing came out of my body, despite the spasms gripping me and it was a long while before I got my breath back.

"It's a good thing we've not been feeding you isn't it – that would have made a real mess." The commander leaned in, grinning at me. "Who would have though that you and Joel were such good friends? You seem very upset that he's dead. He liked your girl you know? He liked Cassie _a lot_."

His words dredged up images from my brain that I wished I could destroy.

"You should have seen the things Joel wanted to do with her...I did." He tapped his head. "I bet she wanted it too you know, they probably did all the stuff I saw in his head when they were alone together on their placement. It felt more like memories than fantasy, you know."

"Shurrup," I slurred, unable to put any strength into my voice.

"What's wrong – don't you want to hear about your girl, Balik? I thought you liked talking to me about her."

I didn't – I hadn't – couldn't have.

"Or is it thinking about your friend Joel that's got you feeling secretive?"

My stomach rolled again. Somewhere, between the questions and the beatings, I had been taken from this room and carried somewhere. I knew it was outside the four walls of my prison, but I couldn't say where – and they'd shown me Joel. As an inducement to help me answer his questions, the commander had shown me what happened to _us_ when we weren't needed any more. I had been forced to watch as Joel was put on a table and cut open like an animal. They removed his organs – the heart most important of all – before piercing him with tubes to draw out as much of his blood as possible.

Joel had been unconscious when it happened to him: he didn't move as blades sliced his skin and they began to pull him apart. But, the commander had promised me as we watched, that I would not have that courtesy. For killing his men he would see to it that I was dealt with properly...

There had been other things happening in the room: more people working at tables in the background, with similar shrouded shapes laid out on them. Through exhaustion and fear I couldn't focus on anything beyond the horror I had been brought to see. I watched Joel die. I'm sure that would have been enough for anyone.

"It would have been easier if you had just done what you were supposed to Balik: grow up, fall in love and die – not too much to ask is it?" The commander pushed himself away from the table, obviously ready to leave. "I will back with the Medics soon," he promised, as he walked out of the room.

### Chapter 22

Time was irrelevant; in fact, it did not exist.

All that existed in this world was confusion and pain. Mostly pain.

The dark veil of unconsciousness pulled away as I came back to myself. Slight nausea accompanied the sensation and I knew immediately that I had blacked out rather than just been sleeping.

I was face down, lying flat on the cold floor of the room I remembered being in before the darkness came. Blood had rusted in my mouth – caking my teeth with a thick unpleasant coating as I lay oblivious – and I could feel a new tender swelling near my temple.

That would explain the unconsciousness then.

My hearing ranged out, automatically searching for current danger in my surroundings before I opened my eyes. There was nothing. I was alone.

Sitting upright, ignoring the dizziness I dragged myself towards the nearest wall and slumped against it. Though my shoulder ached, I raised my fingers to gingerly examine my face and guess the extent of my injuries. I found more blood in my nose, although it wasn't broken. A painful twinge as I moved my right arm told me that another rib was, though.

Broken.

I knew – with clear, terrifying certainty – that it would not be much longer now before I was completely broken.

As I was contemplating this, the door to my _room_ unlocked: there was a resounding _clunk_ as bolts slid back into their housings. The door opened slowly, disturbing the cool stillness of air in the room as a tall man clad in black entered. The commander had returned and I wondered vaguely whether my end would be sooner rather than later.

The commander was not alone and I remembered his promise to bring Medics to examine me. Not for my injuries of course, but to work out why I was a freak. The man – _man!_ I spat the word again hating these inhuman beings – accompanying the commander hung back, staying closer to the door as he regarded me. Curiosity was the dominant expression on his face. As he waited, watching me, I realised that this man far out-ranked the other who had been managing my torturous world so far.

Their faces moved minutely as I watched them and I could only imagine the unspoken conversation that was taking place. I turned away to stare at the dark corner of the room – hating the sight of them – so it surprised me when I heard the door shut a few seconds later.

Turning involuntarily towards the sound I saw that only this new stranger remained and the guard inside the door, my usual tormentor having left.

_This is different_. I was unable to stop myself from being mildly curious at the change in events.

The man watched me in silence for a while, not making any move to come towards me. "You can leave us," he said eventually, informing the sentry at the door of his wishes with a dismissive wave of his hand.

The guard floundered, gripping his weapon more tightly. _They_ seemed to hate speaking aloud and it probably surprised him to be addressed in this way. I assumed he was unsure of whose orders to follow: the vicious commander or this stranger, who exuded power purely through his presence.

My visitor moved his chair across the room, to sit opposite me. He did not turn to the other man or repeat his command aloud, but an instant later with a second, minute flick of his fingers, I was sure that he had insisted on being obeyed. The guard's face blanched as though he'd been shouted at and after a moment of clumsy fumbling at the door he had wrenched it open and dived outside.

The man sat across from me, staying quiet. His rather elegant frame filled the minimalist chair on which he rested and he watched me with a calm expression on his face. The green eyes gazing at me were mild, but held an intelligence that felt oddly familiar. A strange thrill shot through me. It was hard to believe that he wasn't human.

I felt the thrill once again as I waited – I would not offer any opening to him – if he wanted to speak to me, he could _speak_. It was not fear I felt in his presence – though I knew he was different to the others I had met – I recognised my own sense of fascination and perhaps a degree of awe through the haze of my injuries and exhaustion.

Who are you?

"I _am_ different to the others," the man offered finally, confirming he was already rooting through my mind. It was the first time since I'd been brought here that I thought any of them done this.

In truth, I didn't believe that I was strong enough to have resisted them: to have blocked my mind through everything I had been through seemed like it would be impossible. At the same time, I just _felt_ like they hadn't been able to get inside my head. Why else would they have spent so long questioning me, if they already had what they needed?

"And you are not afraid of me. You are wise for such a young man, Balik."

"Really," I replied without feeling. It made no difference what I said out loud: if he was in my head, he would know what I thought before I spoke. It was something I had to resign myself to.

"Though you will not believe me, I am sorry for what the others have done to you."

Others? He was one of them!

A derisive snort broke out of me in response to his apology. But it did not deter him.

"Some of the others have grown more human – in the negative ways – than I ever realised before..." He paused, reflecting. "I think if I had foreseen that I could have stopped them."

I shook my head, confused.

What was the point of this...? Did they think that kindness would make me break where violence and cruelty had failed?

It was the only thing I could think of. At least he had the decency to admit that whatever they were, they were not human. A moment later, logic caught up with me. This one was already inside my head, so why would he need to show me anything?

"I am not surprised that you doubt me – from our behaviour I would expect nothing less – but – "

"But what?" I cut him off – already sick of their games. All I wanted was answers, or to be left alone. "You want the same information as _them_! You are no different at all: just a smiling mask covering an evil face!" _That's if you even have a face._

My anger was uncontrolled and vicious. But beneath it, I found – for once – that I did not want to fight with these creatures. Had my desire to lash out at them and make them feel my hurt gone? Or was it him... Something different about _him_?

"I am not going away, Balik. And I am sorry – because I am in your head – I have been since you came out of the Family Quarter. You needed my protection."

"Protection, huh?" _Well, I've been beaten half-to-death by your friends, so I'd suggest your protection doesn't amount to much._

"I'm sorry," he said, again.

"Get out of my head," I muttered, turning away.

"I can't do that Balik, because if I do, you will betray Cassie and she's not ready yet."

Not ready?

"I know it is hard for you, but you can trust me. Since they brought you across from the Family Quarter I have been shielding your mind from the others – it's the only thing I've been able to do for you."

I was being drawn in, but couldn't stop myself. "Shielding me?" I repeated his words.

A distant memory of believing that the commander couldn't hear my thoughts struggled to the surface. I had thought that, hadn't I. "Why would you do that – why would you shield my thoughts from the others?"

"To help you – to help Cassie. Her gifts protected you both from detection when you were in the Family Quarter – you needed me when you came here."

How did he know about Cassie? _A lucky guess, perhaps..._ It sounded plausible, but it could also be a trap. If they had guessed how Cassie was hiding from them, wouldn't they sound me out to confirm their suspicions?

"I am not lying to you."

I huffed. "You'd be the first! Or didn't you know, everything for us was a lie?"

"Not everything was a lie. You and Cassie are real – you must be because your mark changed for her, and hers for you. You love each other."

"It's nice to know that the only thing real in my life was something you can't see, hear or touch. That makes me feel much less insane."

"Love is everything, even though it sometimes feels unreal."

I shook my head, ignoring the shooting pain that the small movement caused. "You don't know anything about it."

"I know more than you think. Just as your friend Scarlett knew more – didn't she?"

_Scarlett?_ I wasn't expecting that.

He nodded, hearing my surprise. Still in my head, it seemed.

"I sent Scarlett, to help you _see_ – you needed her to set you on the right path, Balik. You might not trust me, and it's good that you don't – I would expect nothing less – you are _exactly_ what I wanted you to be."

_Wanted me to be?_ "I don't understand."

"I know you don't. And, I'm sorry, because we will not have time to answer all your questions. I have risked a lot in coming here already, but when I saw what was happening to you, I had to do something. Cassie needs more time, however, you were in danger too."

I was completely lost. "What _is_ happening?"

"Something that has never happened before. Not in this system."

"That's not an answer," I pointed out.

"I know, but you will work it out, Balik. You always do."

"Not in here I won't. They don't seem keen on _reflection time_."

"I am working on that."

"Yeah, well work faster." I said, leaning back against the wall, closing my eyes. "I'm not sure how much longer I'll last in here."

"I will do everything I can."

"Thanks." He was in my head, could apparently pluck whatever he wanted from me, whilst the others had struggled. Did that mean he was telling me the truth? Or had the others only pretended to struggle – I couldn't get my head around to a logical answer.

"I am telling you the truth, and if I can bring you and Cassie together, I will."

I swallowed, not even daring to hope that this might happen. I'd given up on everything but my dreams for that happening. My captors hated me, and the only thing worse than death, was where they had me now.

"They don't hate you – mostly, they fear the violence inside you."

_Yeah, well – they should_.

"Some of them value it – you know who they are – but even they cannot understand it fully, because they are unable to feel what motivates it."

Unable to curb my own curiosity, I had to ask. "What do you think motivates it?"

"You personally – not all humans, but certainly you, Balik – are compelled to fight as a reaction to something highly positive. Your worst traits: lying, violence, aggression, suspicion...are all motivated by your best. Your capacity for love..."

I remained silent, my mind swinging dangerously close to the edge again, erring between suspicion and belief. My body was broken and my mind was following, I could feel it.

This one was smart. He was dangerously clever to begin testing me in my greatest area of weakness. Pretending that he empathised with me, even admired my human nature, when the others had shown only contempt. Whatever these creatures were, they did not seem to doubt their superiority over us.

The man nodded at me. It made anger burn through my chest, filling my mouth with the bitter taste of bile. Though he must have been aware of the effect his words had on me, he continued in the same calm manner as before.

"I know what you think of us. Although you do not fully understand, all of your guesses have been close to the truth. And you are right – the others do think themselves better than you: they believe that your individuality, your human frailties make you weaker than us. In some ways they are correct, but in others that assessment could not be further from the truth. I do not believe –"

"Why?!" I demanded. "Why are you telling me this instead of asking me questions?" My interruption cut him off mid-sentence and so I ran with it. "Why do you care whether I have any understanding of what you're doing, or not? I don't need or want your sympathy – I don't want you to tell me about what it is to be human! I don't believe that you or any of the others would have the first idea about that."

The man nodded, absorbing my words, not showing any nervousness at my sudden outburst. Perhaps he was confident that with my injuries and restraints I wouldn't attack him...or maybe he had no reason to fear me...

"You are correct – we are not the same as you. That does not make your behaviour a mystery, to me. The others cannot comprehend fully why you act the way you do because they are not driven by hormones and emotions as you are. There is only existence and logic and survival to them: their world is one of protecting the collective and not the individual. It is because of this they do not understand you. They know nothing of what it is for a human – you – to love."

Leaning back, I watched him cautiously. He sat motionless on the small-framed chair, his eyes boring through mine and deep into my heart. "You speak of _them_ as though you are different, but you're not...you're all the same, all connected." I said finally. "You don't have to deny it. We saw through your illusions to see what we weren't supposed to. I know about The Collective."

The man spread his hands apart in a signal of agreement. "You have seen a lot," he permitted, "but nowhere near what your friend has seen of us."

My tongue thickened in my mouth at his allusion to Cassie's ability – he seemed sure of what she could do – the others hadn't. There was no malice to his tone, but I knew that meant nothing with these cold creatures. I swallowed dryly and tried not to think why his observation was so true...tried not to give him the information he no doubt craved.

"No!" He stood abruptly, knocking the chair over.

At first I thought he might attack me, then I realised his attention was focused on the door – as if he'd just heard someone shout to him from the other side.

He moved closer now, leaning down over me.

"Whatever you think I am, you are wrong Balik. This is not what I wanted for you – any of you – but it was too late – once I understood what drove you, it was too late!"

I rocked away feeling overpowered by the earnest in his face – unexpectedly animated and _real_. His words – not making any sense to me – poured over one another in his rush to get them out. He was still speaking.

"Everything was directed towards the cure...and human behaviour was so _primitive_ on many levels...that's the only reason the testing was allowed to go ahead on another sentient being..."

It wasn't even half a story, just disconnected sentences. Nothing made sense to me.

"So many of you were dying every day: murder, war, disease, famine...everything was death...more of you than we would ever need and so it was allowed..."

His words were almost unconscious now, as though he were not fully aware I was still there. Short, stacatto phrases tumbled from his lips clipping the conversation to a point I could not comprehend. I felt like I was taking a confession from him, rather than being interrogated. For all I had expected I genuinely could not understand how _this_ would get them closer to Cassie.

"Some of the elements – those like you – became aware, and of course still nothing was working, so we were going to abandon the Earth zone – leave the failed project and move on as we had done before – but then – "

In the same moment that he broke off his head flicked up, his eyes wide – part fearful, part surprised it seemed – and he glanced towards the door.

_What had he sensed? What more did he have to say?_ The two conflicting questions shoved against one another, demanding attention, though neither would be answered. Not by me, at least.

He straightened and stepped away from me, just as the door slid open. Two guards burst in, flanking a third familiar figure. The commander strode into the space, addressing my interviewer silently. His expression was almost gleeful – if such a soulless face as his could truly convey emotion – and when his eyes met mine, I saw satisfaction in his smile.

"This is not acceptable!" My mystery visitor complained, speaking aloud, his voice calm but his words tense.

The commander was obviously surprised – no doubt at being addressed verbally – and he glanced briefly between us, confusion registering on his face before being swiftly erased.

"It has been decided by the others," the commander replied politely, reinforcing the other man's more senior position. "The other Architects want to proceed as normal now."

My host looked back at me, his eyes suddenly flat. "I'm sorry," was all he said before sweeping out of the room, leaving me with my usual companions.

When I looked at them my anger returned. The hatred flooded back, filling every muscle and bone in my body. Perhaps it had just been the other man after all – maybe he was different – because I felt no awe or fascination for these _men_.

"Finally," the commander grinned, flexing his shoulders as he stepped towards me, "we get to end this."

He was right. There was nothing else coming for me now except death. I could sense the finality of it in the air of the empty room. For a moment it felt as though something was missing; as if there had been some unseen energy surrounding me, that had just been removed. The feeling passed and I was alone once more with my enemies.

It would be an end...but I would not go quietly. Rising to my feet, the chair fell to the ground. With the last strength I had, I would fight them and hope that Cassie had found some way to escape.

The commander smiled again, his eyes glowing excitedly.

"This is what I was counting on," he said.

* * *

The commander stared down at me, disgust plain in his eyes. My hair stuck to my cheek, matted with sweat and blood; I could barely move now, everything ached so much.

_Please let the end come soon_.

I was not pleading to this beast – there was nothing good in him and I knew that – I think I was begging my body to let go.

But I couldn't escape from here...not yet...a part of me still lived. I could not let go of Cassie... It was not time yet. And so, I simply stared back at the creature, my eyes as dead as his.

The pains in my body bothered me less than the deterioration of my mind. I couldn't really remember when I last slept. Certainly I'd been unconscious on several occasions, but that did not really help, and the rest of the time they had kept me awake, with incessant questions or other less pleasant activities. Now though, everything was fading: I was so _aware_ of what I was losing from my mind it was terrifying – it felt like entire periods of my life were melting away.

Images of Cassie were the strongest for me – love protected my memories – but even those were getting harder to see as I tried to hide her from them. I knew the pictures were becoming less distinct: the colour and light of my mind was weakening.

* * *

I used to walk, but now I crawl.

There is no energy in my spirit, no strength in my muscles.

For all I have tried to protect Cassie – to save both of us – all I can see now is that our demise is inevitable. Whatever else these creatures may be, I know that they are relentless.

It will not continue much longer, I think. They come back only to pump more drugs into my body – I'm sure that soon I will be subjected to the same awful fate I was forced to watch Joel endure.

To my surprise, I envy him...that he is already dead and yet my suffering continues... All I wish for is death, knowing that I have failed myself. Failed Cassie. The knowledge that I would never see her again was killing me just as much as everything else these creatures had done... There was no escape from the shadows that were drawing closer to drag us away into the unending darkness. My vision dimmed.

Closing my eyes tightly I sought her face in my mind. It blossomed into focus, beautiful and bright, chasing away the gathering blackness as she illuminated my thoughts.

This was not enough.

This was all I had.

### Chapter 23

For a long while there was nothing but darkness and dreams. I might have thought I was dead, but then I was still conscious enough to be thinking, wasn't I?

Some things had improved: there was no pain any more, because I couldn't feel my body now. Sometimes I heard voices whispering at the edge of my black world. I wasn't really interested in them. Now and then, Cassie would be there: talking to me, laughing. I liked those moments the best, although they never lasted long enough.

Most of the time, it was just my brain – floating alone through the emptiness – nothing more.

* * *

From nowhere the pain returned. It was immediate and overwhelming, as though every nerve in my body had suddenly been switched on and overloaded. My heart was beating wildly, thumping my chest as though it was about to explode. My limbs – once forgotten – now thrashed outwards, muscles twitching in spasm.

What was happening? Was this what it felt like to die?

Every part of my body had simultaneously decided to come alive and fight...then my eyes opened. At first I saw nothing: my vision was grainy – black and white – and the images I picked out appeared far away, as though I was staring down a long tunnel at them. There was nothing familiar to focus on and much of my sight was filled by darkness. As I looked, only a small circle in the middle became clear.

There was a figure close to me. As I was absorbing this information, I realised that I could feel their weight on my body: they were holding my limbs down as I jerked. Long hair covered the face of the mystery person, but I recognised the dark suit she was wearing: it was a Medic. With my muscles bursting beneath my skin, I was already close to knocking her off me. As consciousness returned, I wondered if maybe I could try and push her off completely...perhaps she would be weaker than the men.

With some effort I concentrated on my arms. It was difficult to focus and none of my limbs responded the way I expected, despite their obvious energy. Just as I was about to try and throw her off, the woman turned and I saw her face.

"Cassie?" Her name crossed my lips before I could stop myself.

Was this another dream, or had I been right before: I was dying...?

She couldn't really be here, could she? The last scraps of reason in my head told me that seeing Cassie was impossible. Everything else told me that this was more real than any of the previous delusions I'd dragged from my memory. The weight of Cassie's body pressed gently onto mine, I felt warmth through our clothes as she held me, and when she turned as I spoke, I saw her eyes: alive and bright as ever.

Before Cassie could disappear again, I gripped onto her tightly, pulling her to me as I tried to sit up. Closing my eyes I buried my face in her hair and inhaled the familiar scent. "I don't believe you're here...tell me this is real," I whispered into her neck, my throat burning from speaking. Perhaps this really was death: only the best things left, none of the pain...but it felt so normal as well, Cassie's body moulded to mine just as it always did. "This _feels_ real, please tell me it's real this time?"

The illusion in my arms squeezed me back. "I'm here...this is real," she whispered, sealing her words with a kiss. Placing her hands against my face, she drew me closer. She was here.

Words poured out, confused and muddled without me thinking about them. "They were looking for you – wanted me to tell _them_ – but I didn't...I think I managed to hide my thoughts, even when they – " I choked to a stop when my words suddenly dried up. Then silent sobs began rocking me, as I remained locked inside Cassie's arms.

Forcing my eyes open, blinking away the waterless tears I tried to get control of myself. And that's when I saw him: one of _them_ standing just a few feet away from us, his eyes fixed on Cassie.

"NO!" I screamed, pushing her away from me, trying to put myself between them. My co-ordination was off and Cassie fell awkwardly to the floor, but I managed to get in the middle all the same. Hatred and rage fuelled me, dispelling the lingering exhaustion. My vision was still distorted, but it was good enough to provide me with a target, and so I lunged.

"NO, BALIK!"

Cassie shouted from the floor and I felt her move to stop me. I thought I was fast enough, but at the last second she grabbed my arm and yanked me back. My first thought was that she was trying to protect me, then I registered the expression on her face: she trusted this creature.

"No, not you..." I shook my head, trying to dispel the thought that Cassie was one of them. A long time ago I had wondered if she was part of space station system, but I'd convinced myself that wasn't true... _Had I been wrong?_

"I'm fine Balik – I'm _me_!" She cried, her hand gripping mine tightly and pulling me to face her. "The man – he's not what you think – "

"He's one of _them_!"

"Yes," she agreed, "but he's helping us."

Helping _us_? That was impossible. Whatever stimulant had been in my system was fading fast and I just couldn't connect my thoughts with any coherence. I looked from Cassie to the man and back, registering only that he looked familiar, before confusion set in.

"I can't explain now," Cassie urged, drawing me back to her to and taking hold of my other hand. "But you have to believe me, because others are coming! We have no time."

I was drifting, even as I fought against the draw of the darkness. Blinking rapidly I tried to shove away the fatigue that was gripping me. Cassie was still talking to the man. I watched them without seeing, letting the words wash over me – fuzzy and indistinct sounds – not absorbing what they were saying.

"How do we get out of here?"

"I can put you in a Disposal Unit."

There was warmth on my cheek, turning my head. I opened my eyes – not realising that they had closed – and found Cassie's face close to mine.

"How much pain are you in?" she asked.

"Not much," I lied. It would have been easier to list what wasn't hurting.

The man reappeared at Cassie's shoulder and I pulled away, not wanting to be near him. "You might need these," he said, holding out a tray towards Cassie. When she let go of me with one hand to take it, he touched her arm, turning her towards a door at the back of the room. "We need to go now."

Resting heavily on Cassie, she half-dragged, half-carried me from the room. My eyes closed repeatedly, and I found it would be a while before I actually realised they were shut and forced them open again. It was obvious, even to me, that I was fading fast.

"Who...?" I mumbled, trying to speak around the fur that lined my mouth and choked my words into silence. I swallowed and tried again.

"Why's 'e 'elping us?" I slurred, leaning close to Cassie's ear.

"Later," she promised, lifting my arm higher on her shoulder and pulling me onwards.

My limbs remained limp and I swayed with each step, like a walking piece of rubber. Every movement brought pain, but amidst that something triggered the muscle memory of putting one foot in front of the other in order to walk. I blinked slowly and each time the world swam around me in hazy ripples, light then dark.

The rooms we passed through made no impression on me. Perhaps my eyes were closed and I only registered the change of location because I knew I was walking...

My knees hit the ground. Hard. I collapsed onto my side with a groan, then Cassie's arms closed around me and she dragged me to my feet. There was a soft _whooshing_ noise and I felt air move in front of my face. A new room, I guessed fuzzily. Opening my eyes, I saw a white space and the outline of a chair. Cassie eased me forwards and I took the last few steps alone, dropping heavily into the seat and automatically pulling the restraint across my waist, locking it into place. How my fingers found the lock when I could barely feel them was a miracle.

I heard Cassie and the man talking once more, but none of the words registered at all. There was some movement behind me: clunks and shuffling as something was moved around. It was just noise. My head throbbed at the smallest movement and in an effort to keep it attached to my body I leaned forward and rested it on my chest. All I want to do is lie down and...and...

### Chapter 24

After I'm not sure how long, I woke up. For a long while there had been only darkness and nothing: no dreams, no voices...just endless nothing. Now there was light. My eyes were still closed, but I could feel the light through my lids. I wasn't ready to open them yet and so I listened instead.

It was quiet. But, it was a type of quiet that told me I was alive, in a physical place with things happening around me. I heard the soft hiss of an air processor and the muted regular beep of some type of computer system. Beneath those sounds was another, deeper thrumming noise: constant and droning, but also at a distance.

My head was foggy. However, as I lay immobile, I realised for the first time in a long while that I wasn't in pain. Dull aches in my fingers and chest told me that I still had injuries – I was definitely not perfect – but at the same time, I knew that I was much better than I had been.

With a huge effort I forced my eyes open. It felt like they had been glued shut. As soon as the light hit me, I had to close them again: after the blissful darkness it was too much.

Seeing would have to wait and so I began trying to piece together my memories of the past few hours...days...it was difficult to be specific. I started working backwards from the last things I could remember.

The final thing before the darkness fell: Cassie had been with me. Somehow – I have no idea how it was possible – but she had made it through everything and found me! Even through the disorientation, I knew she had been with me: I had a vague sense of being sat beside her with my eyes closed. Something must have happened after that, because I was laid down now...I strained to think of what had changed my situation, but there was just...nothing. I continued going backwards.

Before the memory of sitting beside Cassie, we had been walking – through brightly lit rooms – but hard as I tried, I could picture nothing specific in them. It was as though I hadn't actually seen them, even though I'd been there.

It was no use. My mind was still too clouded to think clearly and my thoughts kept jumping around, not making sense. I returned to trying to open my eyes. Very slowly, with lots of blinking, I managed to force one eye open. I was squinting for a long time, not really seeing much except yellow light and my eyelashes. Then finally, I began to focus.

I was laid in a narrow bunk. Above me – not far from my face – was the top of the bunk. It was made of a familiar cream-coloured plastic. And the sight of it made me panic.

Tilting my head to the side, I was able to make out more creamy-white shapes: a bench, chairs, and some darker shapes, like cupboards, across from my bunk. Close to me, on the floor, was a mobile monitoring unit. It was switched on, beeping away to itself and, as my eyes traced the cables, I realised that they were attached to me. The wires disappeared beneath the sheet covering me, presumably attached to my chest. From the looks of it, my vital signs were pretty good, all things considered.

Scattered around the mini-monitor were a random assortment of medical supplies. Some were used, haphazardly discarded on the floor; others were clean and new in their packets, waiting for use. And there, amidst the chaos was Cassie.

She was lay on her side facing me: her hands clamped beneath her head as a makeshift pillow, her breathing soft and peaceful. Beside her was a flask of water and I could see faint lines around her mouth where spilled drops had dried on her face. Even though she was sleeping, Cassie looked exhausted: grey shadows were smudged beneath her eyes, while her face looked pinched and drawn.

I wanted to reach out to her, hold her hand or brush my fingers through her hair, but my body was uncooperative and so I had to settle with watching her sleep. After the previous days – eternity – without her, just being able to do this was more than I had hoped for. I have no idea when it was that I closed my eyes, because all I saw in my dreams was Cassie sleeping beside me.

* * *

I regained consciousness several times for short periods before I awoke fully. During those little gaps the only thing I really took notice of was that Cassie was still with me. At first she had been lay beside me on the floor every time I opened my eyes, but when I woke this time, I found that she had moved to a chair nearby and furnished herself with a pillow and blanket from somewhere. Though my eyes were still weak, I could tell she was looking better: her cheeks held some colour now, and the shadows beneath her eyes were less deep.

A glance at the monitor beside me confirmed that over twenty hours had passed since I first woke and looked at it. It also told me that my vitals were almost normal. One of the indicators reported that I was a little dehydrated. Absorbing this information, for the first time I noticed a drip running into my right hand, which must have been helping my condition. The bag attached to the other end, hung above my head on the bunk and appeared to be half full, so I was good on that front for a while longer.

I was lying on my left side. It wasn't comfortable, but I wasn't confident in my ability to either move myself onto my back, or even if I could, whether that would be any kind of improvement. The return of conscious thought brought me other knowledge about my body that I'd been immune to during sleep. Sensation had returned to several areas that up until now I had no feeling in. That wasn't necessarily a good thing...

The fingers on my left hand burned dully and brought back to me the memory of when they had been broken: snapped one after another like twigs, whilst I screamed out in pain. My chest felt uncomfortably tight and I discovered a securely wound bandage compressing my ribcage – which must have been Cassie's doing. It was the best treatment for the broken ribs I knew I had.

I lay still for a long while and enjoyed simply being lucid. The distorted and confused mass of images and thoughts from the past days still tumbled through my head, but for the moment I could not face re-living my time outside the Family Quarter. Instead I tried to remember what had happened with Cassie from when she had appeared...but I found it hard to discern real Cassie from the imaginary ones I had surrounded myself with when I was alone and so I stopped trying to do that as well.

Cassie was still asleep.

My neck and throat were very painful – probably the worst of everything I could feel. At first I wondered if it might be the after effects of dehydration, although flashes of a memory made me think it was something more...It was dark, but I remembered a weight on my chest, pressing me into the ground so that I couldn't escape. Something gripping me around the neck, squeezing away my voice...squeezing the air from my body...squeezing the life out of me... Remembering this made my empty stomach lurch and so I pushed the memory away quickly.

Focus on the physical.

If I didn't do this, everything I thought of would end up dragging me back to places I did not want to go.

With small tentative movements, I began testing my strength and mobility. My left hand was a no-go area and concentrating on it now, I found that there were splints on each of my fingers. Another job that Cassie had done well, I smiled as I recalled how many times she had unnecessarily doubted her skills as a Medic. That felt like it had happened a lifetime ago – to a different person.

Examining the splints I saw that each of the fingers had been realigned and, given the trauma they had been through, I imagined that Cassie must have used some form of local anaesthetic in my hand to control the pain, as it was still limited to a muted ache. A damp package, loosely bandaged on top of my hand told me that she'd also found an ice pack...

How had Cassie got all this stuff? It seemed astonishingly lucky.

BEEP – BEEP – BEEP

A loud wailing noise startled me from my deliberations and looking around – as much as I could with the limited movement my neck seemed to have – I saw a timer alarm flashing on the console beside Cassie, where she was sleeping in the chair. It must have been something she'd set for herself, but as I watched her, she seemed to struggle to wake up. Her sluggishness panicked me: was there something wrong with her? I had been so focused on my own injuries, I'd not even bothered to check Cassie, I just assumed she was OK.

Cassie needed me!

I tried to lever myself from the bunk using my right arm as a prop. Moving was so painful, but fear was controlling me now. My muscles were weak and uncooperative, but I was almost sat up...that's when the alarm stopped.

Cassie was moving – slowly still – but she _was_ moving. I flopped back with relief, marvelling at the small gap between my head and the pillow as I dropped: it was completely disproportionate to the mammoth effort it had taken me to lift myself the same distance in the first place.

Returned to a reasonably comfortable position I was better able to focus on Cassie. After switching off the alarm, she settled back into her chair resting her head on the pillow. I watched as she sighed once and then forced her eyes open. She tutted – at an unknown irritation – as she blinked over and over again until her eyes apparently became accustomed to the dim light in the cabin.

"Hey, sleepy head..." I whispered.

Even though I spoke as gently as I could, not wanting to startle her, the basic action of air passing inside my throat set it ablaze. I swallowed but it didn't help.

Cassie's eyes snapped towards the bunk, widening in surprise as she saw me. Immediately she tried to move, but her body was tangled inside the blanket she'd been asleep under a few seconds earlier.

"No. Don't move. I'm fine." I told her, hoping that it would stop her struggling.

Her movements stopped and she rasied her head slowly to stare back at me. "Are you really?" she whispered, her voice cracking over the three small words.

I nodded once and her face crumpled.

"Don't cry, please Cassie, don't cry." I tried to sound strong, though my voice cracked. My right arm automatically began pushing me upwards again, I wanted to reach out and wrap her in my arms. "I'm OK. We made it."

She nodded, but the silent tears continued tumbling down her cheeks and I couldn't hold back any longer. Shoving as hard as I could, I pushed myself a little higher in the bunk, despite the protesting of my ribs and chest.

"Don't!" Cassie choked through her tears. "Please – I'll be OK. I'm just relieved and scared and happy...I didn't mean to cry." Her words hicupped over one another as she used the grimy sleeve of her suit to brush the wetness from her eyes.

I did as she asked, not moving, not wanting to make things worse for her, but the tears were still falling. "Come here," I pleaded – needing her to be with me now.

Throwing the blankets aside, she hobbled stiff-legged towards me across the short distance. I shuffled backwards as far as I could in the bunk, staying on my left side so that she could crawl in beside me. Lifting the blanket, she gently moved my left hand towards the pillow, putting it out of the way. In her other hand she took the wires and tubes still connected to me and moved those behind my head.

As she eased in beside me, I pulled the blanket over us both and closed my right arm around her, dragging its tube with it as I moved. Underneth her neck I slid my left arm tighter around her, lifting it to meet my right hand on her back, and pulling her against my chest.

_Ouch._ I winced at my own movements.

"Ribs?" she guessed.

"Yeah," I agreed, grimacing again as I sucked in a breath.

Cassie pressed her face into my shoulder and I wondered if she might be crying, but then she spoke. "I think you broke three. Two on the left side."

That sounded about right, from how I felt and what I remembered happening. "I know," I whispered back. I didn't want her dwelling on this – worrying about me. It was obvious that she'd done absolutely everything possible to treat my injuries and –

I was distracted as Cassie fidgeted in my arms, suddenly rubbing her hand against her forehead as though she had a headache. "Are _you_ really OK?" I asked.

"Just a bit of a headache. I was pretty dehydrated."

Dismissive of herself as ever – nice to see nothing had changed there! I rattled the IV in my right hand. "Me too, I guess." From the looks of it, Cassie had focused on helping me, and maybe hadn't taken too much care of herself. I must have been in really bad shape...I remembered the darkness, the empty nothing spaces I'd drifted through...I had been dying. She brought me back to life.

My gaze rested on her face as she pulled away from my shoulder. When I found her eyes, I let myself drift seeing only the beautiful green-gold colour and wondering at how it was possible we had made it to this place – wherever we were.

At length Cassie spoke, breaking the silent bubble around us. "How do you feel?"

"Not too bad, to be honest...nice job on the finger splints by the way." I smiled once more at the same memory of Cassie's insecurity about her academic ability. "You would have made a good medic. If it had been real."

"I think _real_ starts here."

"You're right," I agreed.

We lay still and quiet for a while, there was no where else I wanted to be, than here with the amazing young woman I had my arms wrapped around. It was not a time for thinking about the past or the future, about where we were or how we got there...This was a time just for us and I lost myself in the wonderful peace that being with Cassie brought me.

* * *

A new wailing jolted me and I cringed as my chest pulled. Perhaps we'd both fallen asleep again, I felt sluggish. Cassie leapt from my arms and lunged across the room towards the circular console, slamming her hand against the screen to deactivate it. The screeching stopped and for a moment she stood with her back to me, steadying herself. She looked dizzy.

"What was that?" I asked, realising now that each of the alarms had been set by Cassie for some purpose. The last one – she told me – had been for her to check my drip and rotate me in the bunk to help my healing ribs.

"Do you fancy a little experiment?"

That didn't sound like it meant something medical for me...and I wondered what she was planning.

An experiment?

"Always," I grinned.

"This pod is designed for waste disposal," she began, helpfully answering one of the major questions I had and hadn't actually asked yet. "It's programmed on a rebounding course from the space station that completes after seventy-two hours."

We had escaped from the space station – completely – on a small _waste_ craft. That was a relief, because part of me had wondered – given the familiarity of our surroundings and the medical equipment – whether Cassie had just found somewhere for us to hide within the SS Hope. We might still have been surrounded by those _creatures_ ...did Cassie even know that they weren't human?

Not the right questions for now, I warned, trying to focus. That wasn't why Cassie had set an alarm or was telling me we were inside a waste pod... We were travelling through space, having escaped on this pod and it would re-bound back to the station in seventy-two hours, according to its programming.

"How long have we been on here?" I asked, guessing what Cassie needed me to _experiment_ with. We had to override the programming to take control of the pod.

"Just over thirty hours," she bit into her lip nervously.

"You gave me a long rest," I realised, understanding once again how far Cassie had come for me, what she might have risked in focusing on me.

"You needed it. I'm sorry if it was too long."

I shook my head at her. The last thing she should be doing was feeling guilty. "It'll be fine." I told her, already preparing myself to get up. "Just help me get to the control panel and I'll see what we've got to work with."

After everything we had been through to get out of the SS Hope, there was no chance I was going to let a programming issue get in my way. Forty hours...I would make it be enough time.

### Chapter 25

"Where did all this extra stuff come from?"

My head was shoved deep inside one of the pod cupboards and I was marvelling at the amount of food in there. Stepping back, I closed the door and opened the next, finding more compact packets of dehydrated food, perfect for a long journey with limited cooking equipment.

Cassie lay behind me on the single bunk the pod had – not necessarily a drawback – in her hands she held the portable viewing screen I'd stolen from The Clinic. Although it was not connected to the Hope's systems now, it was able to connect to the databases on the pod, where I had found a huge amount of useful – but unexpected – data. There were star charts and documents on physics, the likes of which I'd never seen in our classes before. There was plenty to help me learn navigation skills, if we were to use the pod to try and get anywhere useful, rather than just float around in space until our food ran out.

"You mean the food?" Cassie said, raising her head.

"Uh-huh, food," I grunted, "and the medical supplies, spare astro repair kit, extensive star charts and navigation data, advanced water and air processing systems...It's as though the pod was specifically equipped to support a long journey with passengers..."

"And...?"

How could she not find that strange, especially after everything we had been through with The Collective. " _And_ ...this is a waste pod primarily. An _unmanned_ waste pod..."

Even though I left my sentence open ended, Cassie didn't add anything. I sighed and closed the door, not bothering to open another. I didn't want to push her too hard – we'd not even talked properly about what had happened to us both in the time we were apart on Hope... But, I also needed to try and work out how this had happened. At the end on the station – I remembered only small glimpses of it – but Cassie said that one of the creatures had helped us get out. When I pictured him in my head, my tarnished memories told me that he was the same man who had visited me...the only one who seemed to show any sympathy for what was happening to me...

I didn't want to push her, but I still needed her to see what I was trying to work out. Opening another cupboard I found it filled with medical supplies: saline pouches, plasma and blood packets, bandages and basic tools. "There's so much stuff here." I said. "Like it was planned or something – it feels...wrong." I couldn't admit to Cassie that my deepest fear was that this was just another false world of theirs, and we'd been tricked into it.

"He _must_ have done it." Cassie insisted, talking about the man who helped us. "He told me he didn't agree with what the others did to you and he wanted to help us get out."

I shook my head – still inside the cupboard – it seemed Cassie credited him with doing a lot for us, but without really being able to explain the motivation for his actions.

"Doing this would have taken time – and planning," I said finally, closing the door and turning back to Cassie. "How could he have known what we were going to do, if he wasn't part of _their_ system?"

I waited for a long time, but she didn't answer me. I knew now that we had both realised the creatures on the SS Hope weren't human. When I'd reprogrammed the navigation system after just three hours, we'd had plenty of time to catch up.

Although neither of us had gone into too much detail about how exactly we had come to the same conclusion, Cassie had told me about disecting the _body-suit_ , as she called it, of the man that I had killed in the apartment. Her discovery explained a lot about why I had been unable to hurt them physically, as well as why they were so much stronger than us. Their one point of weakness – the throat – was some kind of insertion point, where they entered the suit in their natural form. For my part, Cassie had guessed some of what they had done to me, because of the injuries. I didn't share with her the other tortures, it would only make her feel worse and it was not her fault. There was no one to blame in all of this, except for _them_. And that's why I was having such a hard time understanding why Cassie seemed able to trust one of them so easily after everything that had happened.

"I'd seen that _man_ before," I said. Even though I didn't specify, I knew that Cassie would know who I was talking about. "He came to see me when they were holding me in the other place. That MAN was different to the others – I knew it, I could _feel_ it when we met – but he did nothing for me. He left me with the others. Left me to die."

_Why do you trust_ him _so much?_

Cassie closed her eyes. Guilt swallowed me whole and I found half of me wanted to take back what I had said. It was obvious I was forcing her into a place she couldn't stand to be – how could I be so selfish? Unfortunately, the guilt also made me angry with myself. Perhaps if I'd pushed Cassie harder, pushed myself harder, when we were in the Family Quarter, we might have escaped before The Collective had time to hurt us both? My questions didn't stop – I couldn't make them, because part of me wanted to know the answer more: I would risk causing Cassie pain, if it meant I could protect her better...

She still hadn't spoken.

"Do you think it's a trick?" I asked.

"No." Cassie finally replied, tears catching on her lashes, her answer almost too soft to hear. "No." She repeated more definitely and she looked up at me, through the unshed tears. "I think it's real. He wanted to get us out."

"Why? Why us?"

Cassie sighed and in that moment I knew that she had an answer. There was a reason she trusted him so completely – I couldn't comprehend what – but it was obvious that she did.

"He did it because he knew my mother. My _real_ genetic, _human_ mother. He had wanted to protect her from the others in The Collective, but he failed and that's why he wanted to protect us."

There was silence as I processed what Cassie had said. This small piece of information only raised more questions and there was only one thing I knew with any certainty. Cassie turned towards me, I wondered if she was going to say something more, but interuppted before she could. "He didn't want to protect _us_. It was just you. He wanted to get _you_ out."

Cassie opened her mouth then closed it, twice, without words coming out. I didn't want her to feel guilty, whatever the connection was between her and the creature, I didn't want her to feel that I resented the fact that it wanted to protect her and not me.

"Cassie, I need you to know something."

She didn't move, just sat frozen, her eyes fearfully intent on my face.

"I might not understand why that creature acted the way that he did." And I'm not going to ask you, I'll wait for when you're ready to tell me, I added to myself before continuing. "But, I'm glad it was _you_. If I had to go through that again, so that you could get out, I would."

"I would never have left without you," Cassie murmured, her voice was soft but imbued with honesty. "I could never have left you. And I never will. We _cannot_ be apart again – you can't put me before yourself as you did on _Hope_ – no matter what happens to us." At first her expression was determined, as she re-lived the memories that fuelled her words. Then, something changed in her eyes: replacing her resolve with two emotions I never wanted to see on Cassie's face: anguish and fear.

"Losing you again would kill me," she whispered.

In three long strides I was beside her, leaning over and pulling her close with my good arm. Cassie's face tilted up to mine and I could see my own pain reflected in her beautiful emerald eyes: she meant every word she said.

"I will not let anything hurt you," I promised. Making a vow to myself that I would not live without Cassie...that I would die to protect her.

"I will not let _anything_ come between us," she replied, grit hardening her words.

I knew that Cassie was contradicting my promise with her own, and I marvelled at her. No wonder that creature had chosen Cassie. _She was so powerful, how did she not see the strength inside her that I did?_ She was strong enough for the two of us. Strong enough to survive anything – I was sure of it.

Falling in love with Cassie had given me a taste of life – what it was _really_ about. Her presence woke parts of my spirit that I don't think had ever existed until she stepped into my world. Everything – even going through the pain and horror of our seperation – was worth it, to be with her.

Cassie wouldn't understand. I didn't doubt that she loved me, but it wasn't the same. She had changed me – altered the way I looked at myself and the world around me. I could not imagine my life without her, because without Cassie, I didn't live. I never had.

Staring into her face, I wondered about what the future held for us, now that our lives weren't being planned hour-by-hour, from birth to death. This was our chance, wasn't it? Our first _real_ chance at life: to live without controls and lies. I would do everything in my power to make it happen, for _us_.

"You and me," I vowed, unable to keep the smile from my face. It sounded so perfect...sounded so possible...

"Always," Cassie agreed reaching her hand into my hair and pulling my face to meet hers.

* * *

Beep-beep-beep.

I reached across and switched off the alert that was telling me we had been onboard the pod for seventy-one hours. Swallowing thickly, I glanced down at Cassie who was still asleep on my shoulder, before settling back against the pillow. My eyes were wide open, just as they had been for the past few hours while Cassie slept soundly in my arms.

In an hour's time we would have to eject Joel's body from the pod, to maintain the illusion that the pod was completing its normal function removing waste. When I re-programmed the navigation systems the day before, I had found a transmitter that appeared to connect back to the main systems on Hope. It hadn't proved too difficult to send a false message through the system back to Hope, indicating that the main navigation system of the pod had corrupted and would not rebound now due to the error. We would have to release Joel's body from the pod, just in case it was being monitored, then I would set the pod to drift onwards along the same course, before letting the transmitter connection drop an hour or so later, suggesting that a total malfunction had occurred. My entire plan was based on knowledge of The Collective's technology I had found in the file system on the pod. It was just one more thing to add to the list of things that had been put here to help us.

Cassie sighed softly and rolled over, cuddling closer into me. She opened one eye, before closing it immediately.

"You're awake again," she muttered.

"Just thinking," I kissed the top of her hair, dodging the accusation in her tone. "The seventy-one hour alarm just went off, but I didn't want to wake you yet."

"Oh. At least you weren't just watching me sleep again – that was getting creepy."

"Ha-ha. You're a funny girl." I smiled, just managing to maintain a deadpan tone.

Cassie smiled, her eyes still closed. "It's funny because it's true."

"Smarty pants." I kissed her hair again, my mind already drifting.

Even though we had talked about what would happen with Joel, I had not been able to bring myself to tell Cassie about what I had been forced to watch happen to him back on Hope. They had been friends – spending all that time together at The Clinic – it was hard enough for her as it was, without me adding to her pain. And so I kept my secrets, just as she was keeping hers.

Since we came aboard the pod, Joel's body had remained in one of the small compartments dotted around the walls, where _waste_ was stored. Except in our case, we had found most of the other spaces filled with supplies and equipment, rather than waste – yet another helping hand from Cassie's mysterious benefactor...

We lay together in silence for another twenty-minutes and I wondered whether Cassie might be dozing again. "We'll need to get started soon," I prompted her, easing my arm out from beneath her neck and rolling out of the bunk.

Standing up I shivered as my feet touched the floor. It was cooler on the pod than it had been on Hope: the systems on the craft were not as powerful or particularly oriented towards human transportation I supposed, we should count ourselves lucky that it had an air handling unit and a basic gravity system.

Cold. A smile crept over my face as I walked to one of the compartments and removed another thermo control blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. For the first time in my life, I felt cold: a natural reaction to an environment that wasn't perfect or controlled. Just like I had tasted hunger and thirst when The Collective held me prisoner. All of these were new experiences for me...all were things that reminded me just how real and human I was.

"Are you cold again?" Cassie asked from the bed.

"A little."

She kicked the thermo blanket away from her legs and stood up, crossing the small room and wrapping her arms around me, reaching beneath my blanket to hold me tighter.

"I hope you're not getting sick."

Squeezing her back, I tried to be reassuring. "I don't think so – I feel fine – just a little colder than normal, but I think it's the pod. You probably don't feel it because you're a girl and carry more fat than I do."

"Carry more fat...?" She repeated in a warning tone.

"Just a little," I patted her non-existent tummy gently.

Beep-beep-beep.

The sound of the alarm interrupted whatever Cassie might have been about to say. Her eyes flew towards the console. "Is that...?"

"Yeah," I nodded, answering the unasked question.

"Oh."

Cassie stepped away, leaving a cold spot where her warm body had been. "There's nothing for you to do, everything is set up." I wanted to reassure her, and clear away the desolation that now shadowed her eyes, but I knew there was nothing I could say that would make a difference. Cassie gave no indication that she had heard me. "We've got thirty minutes now until – well, until – it's time."

"Oh," Cassie said again. She wasn't looking at me: she was staring at the compartment where Joel's covered body lay.

"We have nothing to do but wait. Why don't we have something to eat?"

It was a terrible suggestion and I knew it. I was sure Cassie felt about as hungry as I did right now, but it was the first thing that had popped into my head. Without saying anything, she took a seat at the single small table in the pod, which divided the _living_ area from the main pod console. I bustled about in front of the pod compartments, locating two bowls and some dehydrated soup. Disappearing into the tiny bathroom – where the only sink was – I added the requisite amount of water to the package of soup, before taking it back into the main area of the pod to put into the hot box to cook.

"Why do you think The Collective even had a pod like this?" Cassie said abruptly. She might have been talking to herself, but I answered anyway.

"There was something about it in the files I found." The hot box _pinged_ and I turned away to remove the sachet of boiling soup. Ripping the top off I poured it haphazardly into the two bowls I'd set onto the table, struggling with just one good hand.

Cassie pulled a bowl towards her, but did not pick up her spoon. She was waiting for me.

"This is an old model pod – the manual made some references to it having been used to transport humans from elsewhere, but that the small size and lack of _restraining areas_ made them impractical. Some of them – like this – were re-fitted as waste pods for..." I drifted from unemotional and informative, to not being able to finish my sentence.

How could I say: "disposing of humans" when we were waiting for Joel's body to be released?

I swallowed the lump in my throat, but still couldn't get the words out. I picked up my spoon, then put it down. Cassie placed her hand over mine and we sat in silence, as our soup went cold and time moved on.

Cassie stood beside me in front of the compartment. Joel's body was visible through the small panel in the door, although you didn't really see much of anything as he was covered with a white cloth. In some ways, the blank emptiness looked almost peaceful, which he deserved. Dying was hard; but death itself, by comparison, seemed easy.

Winding my fingers around one of Cassie's shaking hands, I squeezed her gently. She reached forward and rested her palm against the clear panel of the door, as though she were reaching out to pull Joel back inside.

"There's nothing we could have done for Joel." I whispered, knowing that she was wondering if there was some other way things might have worked out.

When she nodded at me, I knew she was ready to say goodbye. I leaned over to the panel beside the door and manually entered the ejection code. A moment later bright white flames engulfed the shrouded figure inside the compartment. It was a few short minutes before the outer door opened and the fire and ash was pulled into space.

I turned away, expecting Cassie to follow. She didn't.

"It was because of me, you know." She said, staring into the empty waste compartment.

I didn't know. "What was because of you?"

"Joel – being here – it was because of me. The system they had, The Collective needed us, but we had to fall in love to make it work..."

What she was saying didn't make much sense. However, it was the first time Cassie had offered information unprompted, so I leapt on it.

"The Collective needed us – what for?"

"Their civilisation was failing, some disease infecting them all, killing them."

I shrugged. "What did that have to do with us?"

"Nothing – at first. A group of them left their home, searching for planets with life on them that might hold a solution for combating the virus. They are the ones that created the space station."

"They were from another planet – not Earth – and found us as they were searching for a cure?" I remembered Joel, laid out on a table, his body being pulled apart by those monsters. _That was some cure they found_.

Cassie turned then, searching my face. I don't know what she was looking for.

"They started off peaceful – logical, really – not as bad as we found them to be. It was desperation that drove them so far."

_Desperation?_ I didn't care what their rationale was – they were parasites, surviving by feeding off us. My stomach rolled as I remembered the commander – he wasn't just a parasite, he was evil. It took me a few seconds to force the feeling away.

"Did you see what they looked like, without the body-suits?" It was hard to imagine another race of beings, and in my head I was now picturing locust-like insects.

Cassie shook her head. "Only through a link to The Collective – just flashes – nothing clear."

"What are they?"

She stared at me, a flash of sadness creasing her features before she answered. I hoped I wasn't pushing her too far – I just needed to know what she did.

" _They_ were like a plant, sort of. On their own planet they lived in water – it was very similar to Earth, which was what brought them in the first place. You were right about the size of the space station; it was much bigger than we were told it was. Most of it was given over to the living space of The Collective, when they weren't working in one of the breeding grounds."

_Breeding grounds?_ That's what the Family Quarter must have been. "They _bred_ us?" I guessed aloud.

Cassie nodded. "There were several areas they maintained – our _Family Quarter_ was just one of them."

"And our parents were part of The Collective too?"

"The people we knew as parents – yes. They called them _Keepers_. I don't understand it completely, but being apart from the rest of The Collective made them weaker. That's why they were so excited about the idea of us _changing_ – it meant the end of their turn working in the breeding grounds and returning to their normal environment."

"Our human parents are dead?" I guessed, already knowing the answer.

"They took people from Earth originally, but they were too violent and wouldn't accept the control of The Collective. Your – I mean – _our_ parents came from Earth, but they were the last groups: The Collective changed the process after that – it was too difficult to manage. Now they use us to breed the next generation, before they – they "

Unshed tears made Cassie's eyes gleam and I knew exactly what she was unable to say. I remembered the room where I'd seen Joel die...I remembered what they had been doing to him, and all the others that lay on tables around him. Everything Cassie said tied into what I had seen: they used us to propagate and re-fill their _breeding grounds_ , then ripped our bodies apart to harvest what they needed.

I had been wrong. They were all evil. _The Collective_ – one entity – no one part of that could be absolved of responsibility. Not even the _man_ that had helped us. He still allowed all the others to die.

"Consuming us – our blood, our organs – held back the progression of the disease. It wasn't a cure, but it gave them more time to keep looking."

I frowned. "How did that even work?"

Cassie paled. "They mixed their cells with human DNA at the embryo stage, to make it compatible."

_Compatible?_ Palatable more like! "They were eating us?!"

She shook her head. "I told you they were more like a plant than an animal – it would be blended into the water they lived in – they absorbed it."

What. The. Hell. No wonder she'd been so quiet – this was a lot to get your head around.

Wait a second.

" _Their_ DNA is in us? Those creatures are inside you and me?" My skin began to crawl, as if I could feel something poisonous moving through me.

"No. It should have been. But not you – you didn't have it added – you were a blip in their system. An anomaly."

_I was different?_ A freak – that's what the commander had called me. How long had they known? "How was that possible?"

"It was an accident. System failure."

I swallowed. "And you?"

Cassie looked through me. "I was the same as everyone else: two-per cent Collective DNA."

My legs wobbled beneath me. This was too much. I found a chair and without looking, dropped down. "That creature – "

Cassie threw me a pained look – stopping me in my tracks.

I tried again. "That man told you all this?"

"Most of it. Some I saw when I was connected to The Collective when I left the Family Quarter."

"And you _believed_ him?"

"He was helping us to get out – why would he bother lying?"

_I suppose_ ...My mind whirled on. "You said he helped you because of your mother – your genetic mother – how did he know her?"

"We're first generation Balik. Our parents were brought from Earth – less than twenty years ago."

_Just twenty years?_ They told us we'd been on the SS Hope for over a century – that we were fifth generation descendents.

"Do you know what this means? There might still be humans on Earth – we might have somewhere to aim for!"

"Human." Cassie echoed, her voice flat.

The final piece dropped into place and I realised what she'd said earlier, but I'd not picked up on. I understood what was wrong.

"Hey," I was on my feet, gathering Cassie into my arms. "This doesn't change who you are – you're not like them. You're like me. Two per cent is nothing!"

Cassie's head shook against my chest. "You _hate_ them – for what they've done. Part of that is in me!"

"No," I said firmly, pulling her back to look at me. "They are not in you – not the bad stuff – just a small, tiny part to make things work. It's nothing. _You_ are the reason we got out."

The last part was a guess, but I thought it must be close to the truth. It would certainly explain how Cassie had heard The Collective's silent communications.

She nodded, confirming that my speculation was close to the truth.

"He told me they look out for it in the Carriers – that's what they called us. It's rare, but it happens now and again: we develop their traits."

I thought of the brain scans Cassie had triggered, and which I'd deleted from their monitoring systems. She was right. "Did he say what would happen now, when you left the space station?"

"Being away from the rest of them – The Collective – the ability should fade. From what I saw, their strength lies in being close together."

"You'll stop hearing people's thoughts?" I asked.

Knowing now what had caused Cassie's skill, I wanted it gone. I couldn't stand the idea of taking any of that with us.

Her gaze lifted to mine and lingered, as if she was trying to look inside my head for the answer. "Yes," she said, finally. "It will fade. It already is."

* * *

The lights in the pod cabin were dim and Cassie was dozing in the bunk. Watching her sleep brought me a degree of peace: she looked so relaxed and normal, I could almost forget that she was still probably catching up from days where she'd barely rested...almost forget that her body had needed time to recover from the exhaustion and dehydration caused during her torturous escape from the Family Quarter...Almost forget, but not quite...

For a long time, I had lain beside Cassie, just watching her sleep. I could have stayed that way forever, but I had work to do. I had made her a promise and I intended to keep it.

So, here it was that I found myself sitting in one of the two chairs at the console of the pod, flicking through charts on the various screens. It was hard to focus, being so close to the main vision panel of the pod, which offered a perfect view of the stars and universe beyond. It was daunting how small and insignificant we seemed, beside the endlessness of space.

Earlier that day, we had put together a recording about our experiences on the SS Hope. It was Cassie's idea and she had done most of work for it. I just helped with the filming and saved the file into as many different versions as I could. She was scared about what might happen to us – she didn't admit it, but I knew – and this was a record for if we didn't survive. Perhaps we could warn others and save them from the world we had been born into.

For my part, I was oddly confident. Possibly, it was naive, but I had an unshakeable sense that we were going to survive...that there was somewhere for us to go. Much of my confidence came from the facilities on the pod and my ability to understand them, for which I had only one _person_ to thank – I probably wouldn't be admitting that out loud any time soon though.

There was another force at work behind my confidence, that I couldn't deny. For a long time on the SS Hope, I had wanted to escape from the Family Quarter; wanted to find out why we lived the way we did...whether we were less human than we had been on Earth. I was on the outside now and knew that we lived the way we did because our lives were built on lies...

We _were_ less human, because we were trained to be that way by The Collective: farmed like animals, doesd up with chemicals to supress our moods and enhance the characteristics they wanted in us. When Cassie finally filled in the blanks for me, I was shocked by the extent of their systems, even though I'd been the one questioning things for years.

Part of me had always felt that the Family Quarter was a beautiful cage to keep us in. Finding out I was right had not been as satisfying as I had hoped. The truth was so horrific, it just made me wish I'd been wrong all along; while everything Cassie had told me, made me hate them even more.

Perhaps, it was my hatred for the creatures who had taken us away from our home that was driving me on with such zeal... Or maybe it was because I just couldn't exist without some kind of problem to solve. This was certainly a new type of challenge, I smiled to myself.

Time had lost all meaning. I had no idea how long it had been since I'd last moved from the console chair and the muscles in my shoulders and back were like rocks. That wasn't going to stop me, not when I was _this_ close!

"Is everything OK?" Cassie appeared at my elbow, surprising but not distracting me.

_What had she said?_ I wasn't really listening. She sounded worried. Maybe it was the alarm that had woken her – I couldn't do anything about that right now, it was tracking and so I needed the insistent _beep-beep_ noise to let me know it was still working.

"Yeah, sure," I muttered, hoping it would answer whatever question she had asked.

There it is!

The long-range chart I'd been using to trace the probe's position was just about to merge onto the short-range chart. We were getting closer and a new system had just appeared on-screen, the details blossoming more fully as the data was received and manipulated in the processor.

Maybe, maybe!

It was looking better every minute now... I scanned the other screens, watching the data from the charts flow into the pod navigation system, allowing it to adjust automatically towards the point of interest I had programmed in.

"What's that?" Cassie was pointing at the furthest screen, squinting to make out the data on chemicals, temperatures, gas levels.

"Environmental probe results," I replied, without looking up, too busy re-adjusting the pod position in relation to the new information coming in from the short-range chart. We were out by a few degrees.

"An environmental probe?"

"I sent one out a few days ago – maybe a week – just after I got the orbital routes re-mapped."

"And what did the probe find?"

"Hmmm..." I replied, still typing and not having heard what Cassie had asked. Did she sound frustrated? Had she asked what I found?

Oh, not much, just water, oxygen, soil, plant debris...

"Balik!"

My fingers froze for a moment when she shouted and I paused long enough to coherently answer what I guessed was her question about the probe. "It found an environment that looks viable." I resumed work.

"Where – is it close?"

There!

I clicked on the new option that had just become available on the probe. It was some distance away and proving slow at returning the detailed image data collected. The system paused for a few seconds and I hung on desperately. The screen where the environmental results were displayed flickered and changed.

At first the new image was completely black, then a bright light glowed to life. I stopped and stared. As we watched – Cassie was as mesmerised as me – a large illuminated curve emerged from the black screen, as though the probe was focused on a spot some distance away. Gradually, the image became clearer, taking on the appearance of a golden hoop, suspended in the darkness. Every second that we watched, the crescent shape grew wider and bigger.

"What's that?" Cassie murmured, turning towards me.

My eyes rose to meet hers and I was barely able to choke out an answer. "I think it's a sunrise".

We watched as the light grew wider and illuminated a dark sphere, which sat between the probe and the huge star beyond. It was a planet, not a moon. As the light fell over its surface, the planet blossomed into colour: blue, white and green.

Earth.

"You think that's Earth?" Cassie gasped, guessing the same as me.

I looked up at her. I did not want to be wrong about this, although I didn't think I was. Everything suggested it was Earth.

"Do you think that's Earth?" Cassie asked me again.

I took a deep breath and told her the truth. "Yes. It's Earth."

That's our future.

### THE JOURNEY CONTINUES IN BOOK THREE

# Outlanders

### COMING SOON

### OR YOU CAN READ CASSIE'S SIDE OF THE STORY IN BOOK ONE

# Hope's Daughter

### AVAILABLE NOW

### For more information on the author and sneak peeks at the other books in the Ambrosia Sequence visit www.cusick-jones.com

### or the author's blog at www.melcj.com

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