 
Reclaiming Your Soul

Reclaiming Your Soul

Working With the Mystery

Awakening Your Authentic Self in an Insensitive & Spiritually Detached Society

or,

Embracing Your Experience and Awakening Your Authentic Self in an Insensitive & Spiritually Detached Society

by Brian David Snyder

____________

When you finally learn to love yourself,

you will dissolve all the stones that are cast.

-The Indigo Girls

____________

So, there you are, lying on your deathbed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. You scroll back through everything that happened in your entire life up to that point, and all you can think is... "What was that all about?" Suddenly, everything that you ever worried about happening or not happening in your entire life seems so infinitesimally small and unimportant, that you begin to wonder... "Oh, my god," you think. "What did I do with my life? Did I miss the point? Why did I make the decisions I did?" You wonder, "Why did I ever worry at all, to begin with?" Then, the big questions come... "What could I have done differently? How could I have brought more well-being into my life?" Then, suddenly, you realize that you COULD have appreciated your life, much, much, much... MUCH more than you did.

Either you simply didn't know HOW to appreciate living/being, or for some reason, you decided a long time ago to NOT appreciate living/being. That was the norm, so you bought into it. You decided, "Life is serious. Very serious. I need to take it very, very seriously." So, you lived a very serious life, and then you ended up on a very serious bed, looking at a very serious ceiling... in a very serious way. It's then you realize, you made an egregious error. You COULD have taken life less seriously. You COULD have laughed more. You COULD have played with life. You could have taken better care of yourself, without apology. You COULD have done any number of things to improve your life, but you just didn't. You begin to feel foolish, like you are the butt of some kind of cosmic joke. Then, you realize, nobody played the joke on you. You played the joke on yourself, and society fully supported you in playing this joke on yourself. By your own decisions and your own actions, you sabotaged your very own happiness. You vow that in your next life you will make the most of being in a physical body, as you slip into the next world.

As if through a wormhole of swirling memories, you are sucked through stars and planets, until... SNAP! Coming back fifty years, you're back in your seat, and like Ebenezer Scrooge, you begin coming to your senses. "Oh, my God. I've been asleep for over 25 years. I spend most of my existence complaining, and I don't even know how to enjoy being ME. Things have to change, or I'll live and die this way. I don't want that. I want to learn how to play with life. I want to learn how to feel alive, again. I want to learn how to love living."

Unfortunately, many people don't know how to enjoy living. I mean, let's get real (whatever reality is... :] ...,) are we ever encouraged or taught how to enjoy living? Are we encouraged to play with life? I'd say that's a resounding "NO." We are taught that happiness is always around the next corner, and the next, and the next, but never here, now. We are taught to everything very, very, very seriously, and to not smile. The funny thing is that we can accomplish the same amount of work, and enjoy ourselves simultaneously. In fact, I'd venture to guess that we would accomplish MORE work if we incorporated PLAY into our schedule.

Our society is absurd, to put it kindly. We are taught that objects are more important than people, that love is something you give to one person, forever, and that the more unique you are, the more important you are, and the better you'll feel. We are never taught that we are all connected, love is something you share with everybody and everything, and that the more you dissolve your sense of 'self,' the more wonderful you will feel. We are never taught to enjoy each others' company, simply for being. Imagine a world where people actually touch each other! Ooooooh. Did I just SAY that!? Oh, no, we couldn't have that. A world where people actually touch one another, and it's not only acceptable, but encouraged! Ooooooooh. Did I just SAY that!? NO! We must walk around like robots, with earplugs in, or on our cell phones and defending our pathetic egos which keep us from experiencing true joy. After all, we are all so very different, aren't we? WAKE UP, PEOPLE. WE ARE BECOMING ROBOTS.

"All of that is very well and nice, Brian. But, how, exactly, are you going to teach us how to enjoy living? Can that be taught? You have no idea what I've been through. I've tried everything and I'm a hopeless case. Nobody can help me." All of these things and more, you say. To which I respond, "The times, they are a-changing, my friend. Just because something hasn't happened to you yet, doesn't mean it WON'T happen to you. You are steering the ship, now. You can't control the wind or the water, but you can control the sails. It all comes down to choice. You always have a choice, and a next choice, and a next choice. The future is not set in stone, and the potential for your joy is so great that I promise you, it is well within your reach. Once you've stuck your foot in the door to a better life and a better way of being in the world, that door will not close. You've started down a path that will grow wider, wider, and more glorious as you go. You've opened a door that will open wider, wider, and will not shut on you, ever again. You've asked for grace, and grace is beginning to shine upon you. You've plugged into a network of people who are interested in one thing, and one thing only. Your happiness. Why? Because, they understand that your happiness equals their happiness. You've left the cold, rainy street, and walked into a warm inn, full of people who have been waiting for you since time forgotten. There is bread in the oven, and warm hugs from every person in the room. You are not alone in this. We are all in this together. Even me, as I'm writing this, let me reassure you that I am not alone in this. I am a part of your healing as you are a part of mine. Without each other, we are nothing. With each other, we are everything. No, you are not alone in this. Your sadness will pass. Your tears will be cried. Your sorrow will heal. Not too long from now, you will cross the tear threshold, and begin climbing the joy ladder. And, I'll be there with you. We'll both look at each other and say, 'Wow. Did you ever think we would make it this far?' To which, you will respond, 'I knew it all along. I just didn't know I knew it.'"

"The sad thing is that most people never live at all," said Socrates to Dan in the book, 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior.' The reason most people never live at all is because they are rushing to the finish line with blinders on, worrying about what everybody else is thinking, and missing everything in-between. What happens is this. We grow in Earth age, and we somehow forget our true nature. We forget that underneath all the ego, the goals, the desires, the products, the masks, the roles we play, the fears, the defenses, and the garbage that we were taught, exists a being that is wide-eyed and full of wonder... with a joyful, loving, playful heart.

Life isn't about having what you want, but wanting what you have. Do you want to live a life of enormous quantity and very little quality... or would you rather live a life of extreme quality, for just one day? Your journey is about shedding everything that keeps you and others from seeing that being of Light that you most truly are. That's what Reclaiming Your Soul is all about. It's about remembering who you are, before you learned to be who you're not. Most people have forgotten that they have options. Your goal is to remember that you always have options, and the best decision you can make is the one that feels right, intuitively. This moment could very well be the first step on your journey to enlightenment. Remember that it is a journey, and that you cannot push the river. Also, remember, the only way out is through. So, when times get tough, and you plunge into the long, dark night of the soul, remember that we are walking with you. Be gentle with yourself. Always, be gentle with yourself. In the end, nobody cares if you loved your life or you hated your life, but either way, you have to live it. So, let's go now and gather the lost fragments of yourself and put you back together, that you may operate on all cylinders once again, and be the beam of Light you were born to be. Let's Reclaim Your Soul. (:]...Smile, here.)

____________

I used to think I was here to change the world,

Now, I know that the world is here to change me.

(And, that's how I'll change the world.)

____________

Life is a mystery.

You can work with the mystery, or against the mystery.

Work WITH the mystery.

Watch the miracles as they unfold around you.

If you welcome the mystery with open arms, there you will BE joy.

The way I see it, you can either fight with the unfolding of your life, or work with it. I know people who have chosen both ways. The people who are working WITH the unfolding of their lives are much, much happier. It's all about deciding the content of what you want in your life, and then allowing the form to take shape, as it will. Now, if you'd like to choose the alternative method, go for it! May blessings shower upon you.

____________

Okay, let me start over. I was working in the Herb Room at my college, today, and I wrote a new introduction. So, I decided that instead of erasing the older introduction, I would simply add this one, to make two.

So, starting over. Ech-hem. As I was saying, your life can be glorious. Your life can be so much fun that you want to giggle with gratitude just thinking about it. The question is, "What's keeping you from experiencing joy on a daily basis, as a regular occurrence, as a way of life?" What or who is stopping you from enjoying yourself? What or who is stopping you from spiritual growth? You have options, you know. (((In my healing practice, I have a technique I call Soul Integration, which is essentially pin-pointing what it is people DO enjoy about living, and incorporating those activities into their experience.))) If you don't have a feeling of where you WANT to go, you end up wherever you are. It's the whole insanity definition of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you are enlightened, that's great. As for those who still seek enlightenment, they need to surround themselves with things and activities they love. Even enlightened beings surround themselves with things and activities they love, until everything they see or do becomes love. (while at the same time, loving everything and everyone they come across.) Being enlightened doesn't mean being better than anyone else. It simply means being full of light, and enjoying your life. Thus, the undeniable magnitude of importance of knowing just what it is that makes you smile, and surrounding yourself with those objects, or activities, or experiences. What makes a person smile is different for everybody, in form, but essentially the same. Physical activities that move the body in new and exciting ways. A healthy amount of human touch and playfulness. Learning new skills or information. We are not one-dimensional creatures. We are not robots. We are not intended to become so serious that life itself is no longer enjoyable. We are not intended to be disconnected from nature and the natural rhythm of life. We are playful, joyful creatures who are intricately connected with nature and all that is.

Here's a question for you. Why live an unhappy life? Just to keep your body alive for fear of death? That doesn't sound like a very good reason. Sounds like a sad, sad way to go. No, forget about that. Your life can and will be phenomenally wonderful. That is, if you ALLOW it to be. All limitations you set, you set upon yourself. YOU HAVE OPTIONS. That's what life is. An endless stream of options & possibilities. That's why it's so important for you to think before you act. Think with your heart before you act with your body. Go in directions that support your growth & enjoyment, and forgo those activities that keep you stuck. Search through magazines of activities, people and objects you love, and paste them on the wall if you have to. Pictures of people dancing, surfing, and making love. Pictures of trees and flowers and the beauty of nature. Pictures of people enjoying themselves. Call it your Wall of Love. Place everything you enjoy about this world on that wall, and every time you look at it you will remember everything and everyone that make your life so enjoyable. That way, you will know what it is that brings you joy, ergo, what you want from life. More joy. If you don't know what brings you joy, how are you going to surround yourself with joy? Of course, these activities, people and objects that bring you joy are only part of the equation. The other part is spirit.

Without spirit, no amount of activities, people or objects will fill your soul with love. Spirituality is about deepening your connection to the divine source of love, so that those activities, people and objects you love will just be icing on the cake of divine love. That way, instead of looking to those activities, people and objects to fill you up, you are already full when you approach them. Spirituality enables you to experience contentment, with or without those activities, people or objects. Of course, it's always better if they're around.

Know yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself without apology. You should NEVER apologize for taking good care of yourself. If somebody around you has a problem with you taking care of yourself, then that is NOT love. That is control. If somebody truly loves you, they will want you to do what's best for YOU.

You've gotta laugh about this life. Don't take this so seriously. Reclaiming Your Soul is about learning to stay in, and operate from, present time. In present-time, the past doesn't matter, and you are free to create. Create love. Impress no one but yourself.

In today's modern society, we have much to learn about how to enjoy living. We know how to survive, but there is something MAJOR missing. Something that no amount of products from Wal-Mart will fulfill.

The material-only model of reality just ain't workin'

What's missing is spiritual acknowledgment and cooperation with spirit. In my experience, I have discovered that nurturing the spirit is equally as important as nourishing the body, or sharpening the mind. It's like lifting weights for the soul. At first, you can't lifts 3 pounds, but after a little while (depending upon your attention and devotion to your practice,) you can pump 350. "What's the point of being able to pump 350 spiritual pounds?" you might ask, to which I would reply, "Well, no point, really, except for, without working your spiritual muscle, a longing will develop in your being which no other exercise could fill."

Many people end up walking the Earth like the living dead, just 'trying to get through' life. Looking at objects and each other as means to an end. Something or someone to be exploited. Why is this? What are we doing wrong? I'll tell you. We are not connecting with one another, the planet or ourselves on an authentic level. We are not appreciating one another, the planet, or ourselves. We don't appreciate and love one another, simply for existing, the planet, simply for existing, or ourselves, simply for existing. Instead, we see each other as obstacles to be avoided with or dealt with. This must change for us to evolve to the next level. We need to learn to slow down and love in the way the word "love" was meant to be used. Not "love," as a way of controlling another human being, but "love" as a way of supporting everything and everyone around us. Control does not equal love. Hate does not equal joy. And, age does not equal wisdom.

Before you can learn to love another, you need to learn to love yourself. That means taking a good look at yourself and seeing where things are and aren't working. You see, what happens is this. We are born these incredible, flawless beings, and we are slowly, but certainly, begin to hide our light, because we want to match the darkness around us. (((pieces of ourselves along the way. What kind of pieces? Pieces that our relatives disapproved of, or we suppressed to make others happy.))) In my case, I hid my Light, my beauty, my enthusiasm for existence, so that other people would be more comfortable around me. I allowed myself to be emotionally and psychologically abused to make other people feel comfortable. Who knows why, but I began to forget who I REALLY was, absorbing so much energetic crap I was constantly being bombarded with. I forgot that I was a LIGHT being in a shadowy world. Eventually, I learned how to maintain my light in a room of darkness, however, it has taken practice and a greater understanding and heightened perception of energetics between people.

While growing up, many of us begin to say, "I am this and I am not that," and we develop an ego, or separate identity, and put ourselves into little boxes. Sooner or later, that box begins to make us feel so claustrophobic that we feel like we're choking on a lack of oxygen. We begin to realize (by our late twenty's, usually,) that there are parts of ourselves missing. Not physical parts, but rather, spiritual.

You may realize that you have been over-accommodating to others, at your own expense, because you grew up trying to make your family happy. Or, you may realize that you let others push you around, because you were raised to 'take it.' Or, you may realize that the masculine/feminine aspects of your personality are out of balance, and need to be aligned. Or, you may realize that everything you love you were told is a waste of time, and begin to pretend like you don't love it, anymore. Or, you may realize that you are simply exhausted from trying to make somebody happy who has decided long ago that they will never be happy. Or, you may realize that the way you've been living your life just feels soulless, and you need to find a better way of being in the world. Or, you may realize that life is too short to waste doing something your heart is not 100% in. Or, you may realize that life is too long to live the way you've been living... heartlessly. Or, you may realize that you've been living somebody else's idea of a good life, but for you, is Hell on Earth. Or, you may simply recognize that you no longer feel like you're living, and that you are just going through the motions. These are all signs that there are lost fragments of your soul floating around in the Universe, and you need to reclaim them. Once you realize that you need to Reclaim Your Soul, there is no turning back. Everything becomes so uncomfortable that business as usual will no longer work. You will reach a point where you can no longer smile and put on an act that you are happy, when in truth, you are beyond miserable.

Human beings were never meant to sit in little gray cubes, behind flashing screens, pushing around papers and acting happy while their souls are dying. It's not natural. It's inhumane. We each need to find a way to reclaim our souls. That means ritual, connection with nature, appreciation of the self, and a way of living that celebrates existence. Being miserable isn't natural... it's learned. We learn how to stop dancing, how to stop singing, how to stop laughing, how to stop loving and touching, how to stop feeling, how to stop BEING. We learn how to be little robots. Little robots rarely laugh heartfelt laughter. You can quote me on that.

____________

Life is not about understanding the world and everything in it.

No, life is not about having all the answers.

Life is about being okay with not having the answers.

Life is about enjoying what you do not understand.

WORK WITH THE MYSTERY.

Don't solve yourself. Enjoy yourself.

There are enough people in this world willing to beat you up.

Don't beat yourself up along with them.

____________

DISCLAIMER:

The most spiritual thing you can do is enjoy your life. Enjoy the passing of time, no matter what is happening. That, and laugh a lot. That, and do no harm, (especially to yourself!,) whether it be psychological, physical, emotional or otherwise. Remember, if you can't laugh about all of this, then you're missing the point. Life on Earth can be amazing, if we will all agree to allow it to be.

____________

All life is is a series of consecutive decisions,

that all lead you to where you are,

right now.

____________

DISCLAIMER #2:

The idea for this book came from my desire to share my experience of discovering Qi (prana, life-force, motive-force) & spirituality; And the phenomenal journey I am presently experiencing. Many people come to spirituality after a major trauma threatens business-as-usual. My story is no different. It's called the journey of a "wounded healer." Many of the great healers are "wounded healers." Perhaps, one day, I, too, will be a great healer.

After experiencing a heartbreaking loss, many people go searching for what they believe to be true, and for me, organized religion was not sitting well in my gut. Something about that whole, "Jesus died for YOUR sins," thing made me think... "Hmm. My sins, huh? Jesus died for MY sins?" That's interesting, because I've been nothing but a peacemaker for my entire life. So, I should still feel guilty about something? Hmm. This doesn't sound right." After becoming disillusioned by organized religion, I decided to delve further into my own spirituality to discover exactly what I believed to be true. The results have been so incredibly glorious, beautiful and satisfying. Imagine a world where you are not programmed that we are inherently "bad," and have to spend the rest of your life apologizing for your "badness." Can you even imagine that? Chances are, you, too, have been programmed to believe that you are a bad person. Let me dispel that lie right now. There is no such thing as good and bad. There is only energy moving in and out of form. There are only experiences to be had. Experiences that inform us, "Well, I better not do that again," or, even better, "This feels right. I'm going to keep walking this way."

You are completely loved by the Universe. How do I know this? Because, as my friend and Reiki Master, Sarah, would say, "You are what the Universe is doing." Think about that. If you ARE what the Universe is doing, then why spend your whole life apologizing to the Universe? Or, you can think of it as, "You are what God is doing." If you ARE what God is doing, then why spend your whole life apologizing to God? That's like saying, "You gave me life... I'm sorry I'm alive. I apologize for you creating me." Hmm. Feeling guilty for existing is not natural. You would never experience guilt if you were not taught how by society. You eventually reach a point when you scream, "I am tired of apologizing for my existence! I am here, and I am amazing. I am so incredible, and the Universe loves me, and I love me, and you know what? I am going to enjoy this life, because it is MY LIFE."

None of the great masters who walked this Earth ever desired to be worshipped. All they ever wanted was to be emulated. Jesus did not want us to worship him. Jesus wanted us to walk with him. I love Jesus, and I also love myself. Jesus and I are of the same heart (... that was an Indigo Girls shout out...) Jesus is no better than I am, although he may have been more spiritually realized and had greater spiritual powers. However, there is no "better." Ultimately, we are equals. We are both children of the Universe. We are all equals. We are all children of the Universe. "Following" a great master does not mean walking around and saying, "Look, there's that guy who I will never be as great as. Isn't he great? Wow. I could never be that great." "Following" a great master means following his teachings, not his incarnation. We are all "God" in bodies. The problem is, most of us don't believe this, and so we pretend that we are unworthy of eternal love. Not only are we worthy of eternal love, we ARE eternal love. We forget this. We are taught that we are unworthy. We are all worthy. How could this not be true? How could all be 'one,' and some be unworthy? Do the math.

Over the past few years, I have read many novels on spirituality, some of my favorites being, "A Course in Miracles," "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," "You are God, Get Over It!," and the "Conversations with God," series. Many of the concepts mentioned in this book are also found in the aforementioned books, which have inescapably influenced this writing. My intention is not to rewrite those books in a different way, but rather, to add to the wealth that has already been provided by so many other writers. The way I am presenting my experiences with spiritual growth may speak to you in a way that the other books didn't, and provide you with some insights you've been looking for. I achieve this by speaking directly to what your heart already intuitively knows, however, has yet to discover; Or, I could say, uncover.

What justifies the writing of this book, and sets it apart from its influences, is its personal nature. I have had to overcome many obstacles within and without myself. All of which, I am positive that many people are currently struggling with. This book is intended to reach those people, and say to them, "Hey, I have been there, too; And, here is the help I discovered which you may not have found, yet. There is hope! Let's do this." This book is more practical than it is esoteric. It is my hope that someone who is in the deepest depths of despair will find my book, and be so touched with love that they will transform their approach to life from one of horror & sadness, to one of peace & love.

____________

Enjoy your life... THIS IS IT.

It's not something that happens later.

So, GO DANCING!

ENJOY YOUR LIFE.

____________

DISCLAIMER #3:

While spirituality is a gift, so is physicality. In fact, the entire purpose of spirituality (in my view,) is so that we can learn to fully enjoy and embrace our physicality. While tending to your spirituality, do not neglect or reject your physicality. We must blend the two, beautifully, and not tend to one more than the other. Just as we have a masculine/feminine side, we also have a spiritual/physical side. Any kind of imbalance leads to trouble. We are all caught between two worlds. It's our job to keep them in balance. It's the whole paradox of physical existence. We aren't from here, and yet we are here, so what do we do while we're here? I'm here, but I'm not from here. Why am I here? Many people spend their entire lives wishing they weren't here. Other people love being here. I believe that spirituality is recognizing that you are more than your physical body, and cannot be contained, while at the same time recognizing that you were put here, so you might as well be of service while you're here, and ENJOY YOURSELF, if it's the first thing you do.

What's most important in life is finding joy in how you spend your time. Like James Taylor sang, "The secret of life is enjoying the passing of time..." I wrote a song that goes, "The secret of life is have nothing to hide..." If you have nothing to hide, then it's much easier to enjoy the passing of time. So, if your spiritual journey becomes a chore, you are missing the point. I know that when I began my spiritual journey, I wanted to leave the people of the world to destroy each other and go live in a cave or a commune. I took my spiritual journey very, very seriously, and judged people who weren't spiritual as somehow worse or inferior to myself. I even made a bumpersticker that read, "You are not your car," just to let the people around me know that I saw through their meaningless ego games. Then, one day I realized that we are all equal, no matter what intelligent or absurd decisions we are making. I was rejecting people. Any rejection is a waste of energy. I came to the conclusion that everything except for spirituality was meaningless, and began losing enjoyment in life.

Now, a couple of years into my spiritual journey, I have come to see everything and everyone as sacred. Nothing is better, nothing is worse, everything just IS. We must embrace our experience on this planet, fully. Spirituality gives us a point of reference to know that there is much, much more, and also gives us much more strength with which to face the world. That is the purpose of spirituality. It's something you find when you are disillusioned with pettiness, and you are searching for healing. You delve into it as deeply as you can, and you come back knowing that you can still live in the world, and choose to not take part in the pettiness. Spirituality shows us how to walk this world as elegant spirits. "I am an elegant spirit, joyfully moving through this world with grace, maturity & poise."

____________

Every thought is a prayer. Every word is a prayer. Every movement is a prayer.

Every minute is a prayer. Every hour is a prayer. Every day is a prayer.

Everything is prayer.

Every prayer is answered.

____________

(Welcome to the inside of my head.)

I have no idea what I am doing on this planet. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, for whatever reason, has decided to give me a human experience. "What am I supposed to do!" I scream. "What do you want from me?" "There is nothing you have to do," I hear. "Nothing to do, nowhere to go." But, what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? Are you telling me that there is nothing I have to create to be worthy of being here? There is nothing I have to do but experience this experience? I don't need to understand it? I don't need to create it? I don't need to control it? I don't need to agree with it? I just need to experience it? Is this what you're telling me? Because, every attempt I've ever made to solve my life or this world has failed. Are you telling me, I don't need to know how my acupuncture needles are made, I just need to know how to use them? I don't need to know how the herb bottles and wrappers are made, I just need to know how to read them? "Everything in your life is being provided from the Universe. " So, you're telling me that I don't need to do anything? I don't need to create anything? "Exactly. Simply allow goodness to come into your life." That sounds too easy. No. I must make my life difficult.

When I was younger, I used to think, "When I am older, I will understand what's going on, here. I will understand life." Now that I am getting older, the more I realize that I don't understand anything at all. I used to think, "When I am older, I will be happier, because I will have become somebody, and I will know what's going on." Now that I am older, I realize that you never become somebody, because you already ARE somebody. There is nothing to become except for who you already are. You never know what's going on, because there's too much going on. You can't even begin to understand it. And, why would you want to understand it? The mystery would disappear. Your only job on this planet is to experience what is happening, fully, right where you are. Don't try to understand it. Don't try to create it. Don't try to control it. Don't agree or disagree with it. Simply experience it. Try to enjoy it. Really, really try to enjoy it.

Once you realize that you are not in control, there is nothing left to worry about. Worry comes from a desire for a specific ending, however, there ARE no endings, so why worry? It's all one fluid continuation of life. If you wait until you understand the world and everything in it to be happy, you will never be happy, because it is beyond your understanding. However, if you acknowledge right now that you will never understand what is going on down here, then you are more likely to enjoy it without judgment. Simply experience what is. That is all you have to do.

____________

You look at me and see a person.

I look at you and see eternity.

____________

Repeat after me.

"It is not my job to solve the world and everything in it."

"It is only my job to master myself."

"Most of this society cares nothing for my health and happiness, so I will choose my friends with care."

"If I wait for somebody to tell me how to take care of myself,

I will be waiting forever."

"If I am waiting for somebody to tell me I can live a joyful life,

I will be waiting forever."

"If I want the life I see and feel to improve,

it is up to me to make different choices."

"I have all the tools I need to become a fiercely independent,

and unreasonably happy person."

"If I want to live my life with purpose,

I need to begin making some different decisions."

"There is nothing I need to do to be deserving of love."

"I am going to enjoy the rest of my life, because I choose to do so."

"I am going to enjoy the rest of my life,

even though I don't understand this world or anything in it."

"It's decision time."

It's decision time.

Are you gonna love this life, or not?

____________

How much joy are you willing to allow into your life?

____________

A shortcut to peace...

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BUT THINK FAR BEYOND YOURSELF

I am not sure this paragraph belongs here, but it's one of the most important messages I have to relay, so here is where it is. Our first priority is to take care of ourselves. The only way to help #2 is to help #1. It's a simple Universal Law. If you're not taking care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else. One of the hardest lessons I have been learning in this life is that it's not my job to make other people happy. In fact, it's only my job to make myself happy.

Now, here comes the secret to happiness. You will never be happy in your own mind, rolling thoughts over and over and flipping them around this way and that, like some ferris wheel that's gone out of control. The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more miserable you will become. It's a simple fact. The best thing you can do is set your mind to something and focus on that, and that only, for however long you are doing what you are doing. Wisdom is doing. When you are doing what you are doing fully and completely, you are no longer thinking about yourself... you are simply doing what must be done. Get your mind off of yourself, whatever way you can. Open your heart to everybody around you. Open your mind to new ideas. Open your body to new experiences. Remain open and begin to love all that is around you. (((You see, when it rains, it rains on everybody, not just you. So, quit thinking that it's only raining on you when it's not.))) When someone is speaking to you, listen to every word they say, and give an authentic, non-canned response. If you are anything like me, you'll realize that you are hardly ever listening to what another person is saying because you are too busy thinking about yourself. Once you break this cycle, you begin to actually hear other people for the first time. You hang on every word, curious what the next one will be. You are outside of your own mind, and that is the secret to happiness. Non-circular thinking. The more you are able to get outside of your own head, the grander your experience of the world will be. The quitter your mind, the better your life. The best way out of your mind is to focus on whatever you are doing, completely, and trusting that the past and the future will take care of themselves.

____________

Does what you think, say, and do bring you peace?

If not, think, say, and do something else.

____________

Sometimes, a disaster is what it takes...

ONE ROAD ENDS, ANOTHER BEGINS

My name is Brian David Snyder. I grew up in a military family. We moved every 3 or 5 years. I never felt very grounded. I spent a large portion of my life trying to make people around me happy. I always felt like I was here on Earth to do something important, but I never knew what it was. I never understood why people were so cruel to one another. Music was my solace, and my God.

I majored in music in college, but I didn't want to teach. I wanted to write songs that would change people's lives for the better. College was wonderful. I sang in choirs, acted in musicals, wrote music for plays, attended dance recitals, and enjoyed creating for the joy of creating. After college, I worked low wage office jobs from Florida to New York City to Nashville to San Diego. Those were the worst years of my life. I felt as though whatever it was I was supposed to be doing, I wasn't doing it, and what made it worse was that even though I was surrounded by people, I wasn't connecting with anyone on an authentic level. My whole life felt... fake. I no longer was in a choir or a theater. I no longer felt joy in being alive. Life became all about survival.

While working for a music publicity company in New York, I went to see a band my company was representing on 43rd Street at some dive bar called the Siberia. The band was excruciatingly loud, and I wasn't wearing ear plugs. In a moment that would change my life forever, my left ear literally popped. From then on, I woke up with a ringing in my ears and went to bed with a ringing in my ears for years to come. I could no longer listen to music. It all sounded like mud. My super-sensitivity to sound was gone, and I felt abandoned by "God," the Universe, and grace. Everything went from in-stereo to mono. Only a few months earlier, I recall thinking to myself, "What if I couldn't hear in Stereo? That would be horrifyingly awful! I wouldn't want to live." My whole life was about the joy I experienced listening to in-stereo sound. I couldn't stand mono. Whereas every sound used to sound like a choir of angels to me, suddenly, every sound sounded bland and tasteless. I was absolutely devastated, to put it lightly.

After trying to "make it," in the music industry for years and working low wage jobs across America, combined with the incessant ringing in my ears and not being able to enjoy music as much anymore, I lost hope in life.

Back home in Florida, I woke up one morning in 2005 and said to my Mother, "I don't know how much longer I can take this. I've been miserable at every job I've ever had. I don't see how I'll ever make it as a musician. This ringing in my ear won't quit. The doctors say that there is nothing they can do, and I can't see it ever getting any better. I don't know how much longer I want to be here (on Earth.)" And, I meant it. My Mom said, "Don't give up hope. I'll get you an acupuncture appointment." I said, "Acupuncture? What's acupuncture? Sure, I'll try anything."

As Dr. Tzong Jiunn Wu (who is not technically a Dr., but I call him that, anyway,) placed the last acupuncture needle into my skin near my hand, there was a great shock that shot through to my right index finger tip. I said, "Do you have me plugged into the wall?" He said, "No, that's your Qi." I said, "What? Are you sure you don't have me plugged into a wall?" He said, "I am sure." I was so confused. What in the world had I just experienced? There was obviously a shock in my finger tip, and he didn't have me plugged into anything, so what was that?

After the first treatment, the ringing in my ear actually subsided a little bit. Every time I went back to Dr. Wu, my hearing would improve and the ringing would decrease. After a while, the improvement hit a plateau, however, there was enough improvement to say that Traditional Chinese Medicine was having a profoundly positive affect on the quality of my existence.

____________

Our salvation lies in loving ourselves, and one another.

____________

And, so it begins...

THE AWAKENING - MY DISCOVERY OF QI

"My energy is so strong right now," said Dr. Wu, with a wild look in his eyes, as he gently waved his hands back and forth, about one to three inches apart in front of his chest. Obviously perplexed, I responded, "What are you _talking_ about?" Little did I know that in that one moment, reality as I knew it was about to come crashing down all around me, like an entire mountain being leveled in one gigantic avalanche. Sure, I had already experienced the shock in my fingertip during acupuncture treatment, but this was different. This was a force that I was feeling in the air, coming from one person's hands into my hands. What was this force? How come nobody in my entire life has ever known or told me about this? In that one instant, I viscerally knew that my life was about to take a much different direction than I could have ever foreseen. As he waved his hand in front of mine, I felt a tingling sensation run through my hand and up my forearm. "What is that!?" I asked in wide eyed wonder. "That's my Qi," he responded, "my energy." "How do you do that!?" I begged of him. "Will you teach me how?" "Yeah, sure," he said. I'll teach you Tai Chi.

Before that moment, I had lost hope in life. I believed that I was only a physical body, and everything was pretty much meaningless. I had always felt as though there was something more that I was missing... something I was supposed to be doing, but just wasn't doing it. I could never find out what that thing was. I tried everything. I worked in restaurants, outlet malls, video production, the entertainment industry, law, and more, but everything I did left me thinking, "Is this it? Is this what my life has come to? It all feels so empty. So superficial. I KNOW there's got to be something else out there." So, when Dr. Wu waved his hand in front of mine and said, "My energy is so strong!" with a huge smile on his face, I was ecstatic. "Your what??? Your energy? What on Earth are you talking about? Teach me how to do that!"

This energy, or Qi, or prana, or life-force, or motive force, or whatever you want to call it, reintroduced magic into my life. Before discovering qi, I felt powerless. After the discovery of qi, I felt empowered. Empowered for what? Empowered for a better way of living. Empowered for self-healing. Once again, I felt loved by the Universe.

The discovery of qi began to influence all of my decisions. From when I woke up, to what I ate, to what I stopped watching on T.V., to what I stopped reading in the newspaper, to everything. Qi is everywhere and in everything. There is no life without Qi. There is no movement without Qi. Without Qi, the body would flop onto the floor. Everything carries energy. Everything IS energy, disguised in form. Everything is energy, moving in and out of form. This is the most important thing I learned. It was not only that we could cultivate this energy for self-healing, but that everything in the whole world was simply energy in different forms, being transferred. Every decision I make in my life now has to do with Qi. From what I eat, to who I spend time with, to how I move my body. I began to feel as though I was not in control of my life, not that I ever felt in control before, but now, all the decisions I was making involved the Qi. It was almost as though the Qi was making decisions for me. What I choose to do next is always a question of where the qi takes me.

____________

Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you.

____________

WHY IS THE MY DISCOVERY OF QI SO IMPORTANT?

AND, WHO CARES ABOUT THE HUMAN ENERGY FIELD?

____________

Something is very, VERY wrong here (on Earth, in this society)...

AN OVERWHELMING SADNESS HAS DESCENDED UPON THE WESTERN WORLD

The greatest disservice we are ever given occurs at the moment of our birth. The time when we are given an individual name (i.e. Johnny, Bobby, Sarah, Sam...). With this new name, and new body, comes a sense of separation from all that is. Consequently, we live in a world full of people walking around thinking, "I am Johnny. I am not Bobby, Sarah or Sam." "I am Bobby. I am not Sarah, Sam or Johnny." "I am Sarah. I am not Sam, Johnny or Bobby." "I am Sam. I am not Johnny, Bobby or Sarah." Yet, this is not the truth. In ultimate reality, nothing is separate. For whatever reason, we all, as one, have decided to break apart so that we may experience our "Self" in different forms, with different talents. Like different facets of the same diamond. Like a vile of mercury that is spilt upon a white, marble floor, we have dispersed into various incarnations. However, where can various incarnations go? Where can we go, except for home, again? What do you think "Heaven" is, except for a re-convergence of "All That Is?"

This may come as quite a shock to you, however, you are NOT your name. You are no more your name than you are your car. You are not who you THINK you are. The mind will tell you that you ARE your name and you ARE your car, however, if you think about it for a minute, you will surely agree with me that you are NOT. That name was given to you. That car was made for you. All these labels and objects that are attached to you are just that... labels and objects that are attached to you, yet, names and objects can change. Every problem that exists in this world comes from people who think that their name is somehow better than their neighbor's name, and needs to be worshipped. Many people would fight to the bitter death for their name, which, in the end, doesn't even exist.

Truth be told, we all are different landscapes on one world. You're a snow covered mountain top and I'm a rolling ocean, but does that mean we are different? We are all attached to one planet. We are all individualizations of the same one truth. How could anybody attack anybody else if we all had the same name? In ultimate reality, we all DO have the same name. Call it what you will. It's eternal. For anyone to have an enemy, they must first name that enemy. Once an enemy is named, and that name is considered "different," , attack is justified. "KILL WHAT'S DIFFERENT!," they shout. If they only knew that they were killing themselves. Any killing is the killing of the self.

I look around and most of what I hear is endless drama. Drama that comes from people who think that they have a unique name that needs to be worshipped, and lack of understanding, or desire to understand. People think that they are their biography, their clothes, their story, and they defend these things at all costs. People think that all they are is the name that they make for themselves. People think that they are their body, and so they dress it up and make it as "different," as possible so that they appear to be somehow special, or better. Truth be told, none of us are special or better. People who are special or better attack other people to defend their specialness. Most people are so caught up in feeling as though they are separate, that they don't recognize the harm they are causing themselves and others.

You are no better than anybody else, and nobody else is any better than you, in the eyes of eternity.

There is nothing wrong with individuality, per se. We ought to celebrate our individuation of our God-self. However, let us not kid ourselves that different form equals different essence.

Everywhere I go, most people I meet are shrouded in darkness. I cannot visually see this darkness, although some people can. No, I cannot see it. However, I can feel it. It penetrates into my core and leaves a residue of deep longing and sadness that I cannot accurately describe in words. Suffice it to say, I feel this energy from more and more people every day, and it crushes my heart. It's as though there is an anger and hatred inside of them, and the only way that they feel they can get rid of it is by sharing it with others. In addition to having a name that identifies them as separate from others, which brings sadness, people also have energetic systems in their bodies which they have never been taught about, and are toxically contaminated.

People share this energy with everyone and everything around them, all the time. I am a water sign, astrologically speaking, and water takes the shape of the container it's in. It's no wonder that I have such a hard time in negative work environments, surrounded by people who think they need to defend their names, and are full of awful energy they don't have any idea how to clear. When I am surrounded by this negative qi, I feel awful. When I am in the Herb Bar, (an eclectic, high-vibration, new age store,) I feel elated. These feelings are more than just ideas or thoughts. I can actually _feel_ the difference of these environments, energetically. Not everybody can, but soon everybody will. It's a blessing and a curse. Unfortunately, in these times, there are more negative than positive environments, hence the sadness I often feel in public places. However, the more healed I become, the more capable I am of carrying joy into joyless spaces. I am also learning ways to deflect negative qi, and keep it from sticking to me.

I know where the pain the people of this world experience comes from. It comes from an ancient longing for connection with other humans in an authentic way. However, in this society, there is no value in connecting on an authentic level. No, we place all our value on objects outside of ourselves and not _on_ ourselves. We can't see beyond the physical form of anything, which is the root of all of our pain. I see people dress up and look beautiful, or look different, or look funky, or look eclectic, however, I see the same deep sadness beneath the thin facade most people around me wear. Dressing up for fun is great, so long as you recognize that who you truly are is incredibly perfect and beautiful without the outfit. You can change your outfit all you like. You can get as many tattoos as you like. But, until you see that you are one with everyone else, you will simply feel more pain and separation. Our society thrives on this idea of uniqueness and trying to be different... but think about it, how unique are any of us? We all have a head, arms, legs, fingers, toes, biceps, quadriceps, hamstrings, a heart, a liver, a bladder, bones, blood vessels, femurs, tibias, fibulas, a spine... how different are we, really? What's this huge attraction with the idea of being different? Do you think that by being different you are somehow better than somebody else? Think again. We are meant to be individuals and express ourselves in unique ways, however, don't take this unique form for being any different from the substance of all. Until we come to recognize and celebrate how we are all the same, we will suffer tremendously.

Another cause for this darkness I feel is how most people _think_ that they are their minds. Most people _think_ they are their bodies. However, they are much, much more. None of us is our mind. None of us is our body. The mind tells you that you are separate and alone. The body tells you that you are separate and alone. The mind doesn't know anything. We are all in this together. Back to the bumper-sticker I made in the beginning of my spiritual journey that read, "You are not your car." I was trying to make this same point. I noticed that everyone around me associated themselves with what they presented, and I could tell that they did not know themselves outside of their social status. You are not who you _think_ you are. You are not that Florida Gators shirt you are wearing, or that Chicago Bulls shirt. It's just a shirt! It doesn't MEAN anything. If you weren't wearing that shirt, who would you be? You are not that Texas Longhorns hat you are wearing. If you had never heard of the Texas Longhorns, who would you be? As long as we continue to associate our worth with ideas outside of ourselves, we will suffer. All of these meaningless, false idols are simply paths to further separation from the truth of unity. Of course, the flip side of that is, if we understand this rudimentary truth, then we are free to continue playing our little games. The difference being, at the end of the day, fans from both teams take off their shirts and laugh together about the silliness of competition.

We live in dark, dark times. I can feel it in my bones. True joy is unknown to most people. The entertainment industry makes millions, however, I have yet to see a smile that lasts. Entertainment and escapism has its place, and is a wonderful gift from the Universe. Creativity is a wonderful, wonderful thing. However, the high experienced from entertainment joy is fleeting. And, like candy, is quickly consumed and forgotten. Entertainment is wonderful, however, our spiritual selves must not be neglected. These days, people are not meeting simply to enjoy one another's company and loving presence. Instead, people are seen as objects to be used and exploited, or at least, avoided at all costs. "What can this person do for me? How can I use this person?" seems to be the mantra of these times. Until we see each other as valuable simply for existing, and stop seeing each other as simply objects to get around or use, we will not know true joy, and we will not know peace. Please, quote me on that.

____________

Invest only in the timeless.

____________

WE LIVE IN AN EXTRAORDINARILY SICK SOCIETY

What is considered a "normal" state of health in our society is, in actuality, a state of severe, severe sickness. Sickness of mind, sickness of body, sickness of spirit. The mind is sick, because it believes that it is separate from all that is. In believing this non-sense, it creates external circumstances that reflect this belief. Circumstances that keep it very alone, and very afraid. The body is sick because the body follows the mind. If the mind is sick, the body invariably will be sick. Carolyn Myss, a medical intuitive and great spiritual teacher, would be the first person to tell you that your biology reflects your biography. The spirit is sick because most of our society has forgotten that we are connected to a greater source than our minds. I call it Divinity, and the only way to tap into it's power is to find another person to show you the way, or listen to your own innate wisdom and follow your gut.

The reason I never fit in well with the rest of our society is astoundingly clear to me now. I realized that something was horribly, horribly wrong with the people I was surrounded by. The way we were acting, the things we were doing, the things we were saying. It all felt so petty, meaningless, and empty. Yet, this way of being was considered "normal," to most of the world. I didn't realize exactly what _was_ wrong, because I was in the thick of it, and still sick myself, at the time. When you are sick, too, other sick people appear normal to you. However, there was enough of a Divinely guided light in me to recognize that it was up to me to find the truth, which I wasn't experiencing on a daily basis. It wasn't until I began having spiritual experiences that I began to feel truth. My search for truth reached it's peak when I saw the movie 'Peaceful Warrior,' in a tiny movie theater in Asheville, North Carolina, during a yoga teacher training with Douglas Swenson. That film spoke volumes to me, and I am eternally grateful for its creation. For the first time in my life, it was clear to me that I was being led closer to a better way of being in the world. A way that resonated more closely with nature & Divinity.

Today, the clearer and clearer a channel I become for the Divine to flow through me, the easier it is for me to see exactly _how_ sick our society is. The higher I go in my connection to God, the more I can see how distant most people are from It. This connection does not make me any "better" than anybody else. Simply more aware. More aware of who we _think_ we are, and more aware of who we have the ability to become. Until we begin seeing ourselves as spiritual beings that transcend our basic human needs, we will continue to act like animals. The minute you recognize that you are not your body and you are not your mind, you are liberated.

Allow the grace of the Divine to enter into your life. Allow good to happen to you, and come to you. The quality of your life is determined by your ability to allow good into it.

____________

This is the best moment of my life.

This is the only moment of my life.

____________

WHEN YOU LIVE IN A SICK SOCIETY, YOU MUST PLAY BY DIFFERENT RULES

When you live in a psychologically and emotionally sick society, you must play by different rules than the majority in order to be healed. It only makes sense. Let your ego-self die, and begin your work as your true Self. Watch your life like a play, and seek not to control the outcome, but only choose to be loving in this Holy Instant. In this Holy Instant, you are completely free and redeemed. Read, "A Course in Miracles."

____________

Recognizing you want off of the average person's path...

"I JUST WANT TO DO WHAT BRINGS ME THE MOST PEACE."

"What do you want?" asked my Uncle Keith, as I stared out the window of passenger seat. At the time, I honestly had no idea what I wanted. All I knew was what I didn't want. I didn't want to spend my life in a little gray, carpeted cube pushing papers around and acting like a robot. I didn't want to spend my days strapped to a telephone, going home, drinking beer, watching the T.V. and falling asleep. I didn't want to spend my time searching through endless pages of law books, not having any kind of meaningful connection with other people, all day, every day. As we made our way from Southern California up to Las Vegas, I recall winding through beautiful green hills that looked exactly like a life-size train set, with a full scale, black train running around, hill to hill. I looked out my window to the right and in a soft and sincere tone, pronounced, "I just want to do what brings me the most peace." And, it was true. That's all I wanted. That's all I ever wanted. Who in their right mind would choose anything other than peace for themselves? How can a person who lives in such a violent and disconnected society find peace? I am wise enough to recognize that the quality of a life is not measured by the measurements that we as a society are presently using. There is something incredibly vital missing. A thread that we are ignoring. An authentic connection, which leads to peace. It became my goal to find a way of living that would bring me peace. To find that, I would need to look outside of the present model of reality that most people were buying into.

"I just want to do what brings me the most joy." I could have said that, too. Joy is the natural extension of peace. What could peace bring other than joy? You who are so busy fighting the enemies you have created for yourself will never know joy because you will never know peace. Sure, there are people out there who want to kill us. So what? Let us send them messages of the love that we hold for them in our hearts, in place of warnings and threats. An eye for an eye leaves the whole blind. That's more than just a nice saying. That's the truth.

"I am interested only in truth." What is false only brings more suffering. What's false is denying that those we label as our enemies are our brothers and sisters. We are all one. Until we recognize this simple truth, we will suffer.

"I am interested only in wisdom." What is unwise only brings more suffering.

Most people are interested in neither peace, nor joy, nor truth, nor wisdom. Most people are interested in filling the mold, the mold of who they are expected to be by the system. "Now, I go to school. Now, I get married. Now, I have kids, even though there is an overpopulation problem. Now, I have my mid-life crisis. Now, I get old. Now, I die." Most people don't question this order of events. They consider that a life well lived. Who are they serving by playing a role, and putting on a mask? All masks lead to more suffering. We need to recognize that the current model of reality isn't working. We are growing up lonely, detached, competitive and non-cooperative.

____________

Be okay with not having the answers.

____________

QUESTIONS YOU ASK YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE SEARCHING

FOR PEACE, JOY, TRUTH & WISDOM.

(OR... QUESTIONS MOST PEOPLE NEVER ASK THEMSELVES.)

Working in a drab gray, carpeted, soul-numbing office cube could mean the soul death of any man. While I was in just such a place, a co-worker of mine who didn't question her place in the world picked up a piece of paper, and read aloud what I had written, "Am I somebody that someone would like to be lost in a forest with?" Chuckling loudly, she looked me straight in the eyes and shaking her head left to right in complete befuddlement stated, "Only you, Brian. Only you." A phrase I have heard many times throughout my life, to the point where it was my favorite thing to hear. I enjoyed being thought of as different, because in many ways I WAS different. For instance, I was interested in peace, joy, truth and wisdom, whereas most people were content with none of the above. I was interested in living a meaningful, productive life, where most people wanted a faster, sexier car or a bigger house. I was interested in leaving the world a better place, whereas most people were interested in leaving the world as fast as possible. Either that, or leave the world knowing that their name was in the newspaper, at least once. Either that, or leave the world knowing that they were considered better than at least _one_ person in some regard.

The majority of the people I have come across in my travels have given up on life. They have decided that this is, "Just the way it is." A statement that couldn't be further from the truth. This ISN'T just the way it is. This is the way you have created it to be. Look at what you're creating. YOU'RE DOING THIS. Most people deny their part in the creation of their realities.

"Am I somebody that someone would like to be lost in a forest with?" is a question that sparks the birth of wisdom. Most people would choose to be lost in a forest with a wise man or woman. A wise person would make better decisions, and therefore be of more use. A fool would make unwise choices, and surely lead to the doom of all. So, when you think about it, we are all lost in a forest, together. Do you think that 18 stories of gray, carpeted office cubes is not a forest? How about 78 floors? Essentially, life is a forest, and we are all lost, here. Am I somebody that someone would want to be lost with... _here_. What do I bring to the party? What do I bring to the forest? Is it my desire to lead people further into the forest, or toward the edges, where the light resides? I can choose either direction. Now comes the choice. Do I become a leader of men, or do I follow the crowd deeper into darkness? I choose to stand on a rock in the middle of the pack and lifting my light to the sky, scream, "Look at me! Listen to me! We are all going in the wrong direction. We are ALL going in the WRONG direction. Please, hear me and turn with me. We can turn around. We must go back the way we came!"

We currently live in a world where love-making is considered pornography, and glorified violence is considered entertainment. Until we have arrived to a place where love-making is considered glorious and violence is considered pornography, I will not rest. Am I a rebel? No. I'm just sensible, and walking toward the light.

Realizing the creative potential of your thoughts and actions, one must be diligent in remaining conscious. That's the only way out of the forest... not causing any more pain. If we don't learn to love ourselves and one another, we may never find our way out of this forest. In the forest of life, we can only ever see a certain distance. If someone is lost in a forest with me, and I am wise enough to know that it is alright to only be able to see a certain distance, then I will bring peace to my companion. However, if I think that to see only one side of every tree is a tragedy, then my companion will despise my company.

____________

Every person you meet is a Holy encounter.

____________

AGE DOES NOT EQUAL PEACE, JOY, TRUTH OR WISDOM

Age does not and will never equal peace, joy, truth or wisdom. If it did, all elderly people would sing, dance, live healthy lives and smile honest smiles. Age does not equal enlightenment. If it did, the elderly would not fear death. Age does not equal anything. "Respect your elders," we are told. Yet, if respect means emulate, then you can count me out. Why would I want to emulate someone who is not wise, and who is not true to their spirit? I will politely listen to any unwise person of any age hiding beneath their flimsy veil of ego, simply out of respect. All people deserve respect, simply for being an aspect of God. However, if respect means to admire or emulate a person simply because of their age, I will never do so. I will not respect the choices of my elders simply for the number by their name.

____________

I only trust people who sing.

____________

WHO ARE MY MENTORS?

When I began to look around and ask who I admired, I had a difficult time finding anyone. Nobody I saw seemed to be living in truth. Everybody seemed just as lost as I was. The only people who seemed to have it together were people with their careers intact. However, even people I knew in great careers seemed miserable. So, where were my mentors?

"Who are my mentors?" I would ask myself. "None of these people I work with are happy. Nobody I know is living wisely or honestly. Who can I look up to?" One of the most important questions I ever asked myself, even if it was on a subconscious level, was, "Whom do I admire, and why?" As it turns out, I always admired those people whose capacity to be at peace, joyful and loving exceeded mine. That's how I know who my mentors are, even to this day. They are collected, loving and joyful. The most joyful, loving people I could find were the ones who were least attached to the suffering of the world and were more focused on living a spiritual life, and how to improve their life and the lives of others. Such a practice enabled them to obtain energy and altered states of consciousness so that when they returned to the dance of the rest of the world, they were not as easily bogged down by the negativity so prevalent in it. Thus began my spiritual journey, and release from trying to be the source of all things.

____________

Allow the unfolding of your life to be effortless.

____________

Discovering the magic of life, again...

PUSHED DOWN MY SPIRITUAL PATH, KICKING AND CRYING

Most people never wake up. Most people live their lives thinking that they have been dealt an incredibly unfair hand, and crying about it until they die. Let me ask you this; Do you think life happens to you, or do you think that you happen to life? How about a combination of the two? How you answer these questions will determine your reality from now on.

Some people are born naturally wise. In the same way, some people are born natural healers. Most of us have some situations to pull through, or need an awakening to occur before we become wise or healers. For me, personally, I was given the gift of stellar auditory senses at birth. To me, all sound was like looking upon the face of God. Then, at age 25, the Universe damaged my left ear drum and ladened me with a sanity crippling ringing sound, to top it off. As far as my mind was concerned, my life was over. I stopped listening to music, entirely. I could eat, drink and watch T.V., and looked normal from a layman's point of view. However, my connection to God was broken. I didn't want to live, anymore. All of a sudden, I was simply an animal, existing because I didn't know what else to do. I remember pleading to God, "What possible good could come from this? Why did You do this to me?" Little did I know, that from my greatest tragedy would also come my greatest gift.

____________

Heal yourself first, then your presence will heal others.

____________

The beginning of an era...

FROM "OFF THE PATH" TO "ON THE PATH"

Sometimes it takes a tragedy to push you in a different direction. My hearing loss broke my connection with "God," and forced me to find it elsewhere. Because of my damaged hearing, I met Dr. Wu, the acupuncturist, who, in turn, showed me the Qi. No hearing loss, no discovery of Qi. I went from feeling powerless to feeling like a God. Finally, I was "on the path."

In the world of spirituality, there is a saying that is understood by all involved, and that saying is, "I am on the path." What exactly does this mean, and why do fellow spiritual people understand it? It means, "I have begun having metaphysical experiences, and I am seeking to deepen my connection to spirit." What is the purpose of being "on the path," anyway? The way I see it, the further we are down our spiritual path, the more love we can bring to the physical reality. By feeling immensely loved by the Universe, we can then, in turn, immensely love the Universe our physical bodies currently inhabit. Spirituality also increases your ability to heal yourself and others.

____________

Selective love is no love at all.

____________

Realizations about how you choose you approach to life,

and that you have options...

HOW I WENT ABOUT LOOKING TO BE LOVED

My method of looking for love was writing music. Of course, I loved writing music for the sake of writing music, but I also had a huge ego investment in it. I always thought that if I wrote the best sounding music, that I would get the greatest love from others. It wasn't until about ten years of writing songs that I realized I was never going to write the perfect song. I had success with one of my better efforts. A song called, "From Gandhi, With Love." I enjoyed the song, but it still didn't bring me happiness. People would clap for me, and I still felt miserable. That's when I realized that I was on an erroneous mission. I had been sent on a fool's errand. It was around that time when this line came into my head...

_One day,_ _all of your trophies will disappear_

And, all that will remain is

The world

Exactly the way you left it

I realized that my entire paradigm would have to change. I had come to a dead end. All journeys that begin with the ego and end with the ego begin with death and end with death. The time had come for my perception to shift. I needed to be involved with music simply for the sheer joy of being involved in music, and not for any sort of praise. However, a carefully sculpted illusion takes time and effort to dismantle. Luckily, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

____________

Protect yourself. Take care of yourself. Enjoy yourself.

There are no rules or answers here. Just Universal Law.

Focus on & surround yourself with what you DO want

& what supports you.

____________

LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES

You might as well face it. Other people make life worth living. I've spent a lot of time alone in the past six years, and the one lesson I've learned is... no matter how connected you are to the Divine, no matter how quickly your hands are vibrating with energy, no matter how many songs you write or how many sit-ups you do, without another person to sit down with and watch a movie every once in a while, life loses its meaning. I'm not afraid to be alone. In fact, it's been a way of life for me, and it can be very peaceful and rejuvenating. But, life enjoys life. Life supports life. Life is the _purpose_ of life. There is a very good reason why I have been alone for these past few years. I learned early on that even though life supports life, life also harms life. People who are hurting love to hurt other people. Verbally, physically, it doesn't matter, it's all the same. Attacking another person is NEVER warranted. Defending yourself is always warranted, and usually your best defense is silence so that the other person has a chance to hear the absurdity of their last statement. And, sometimes, the best way to defend yourself is to create a new life for yourself. A life that supports you. And, sometimes, that means saying goodbye to familiar faces. Saying goodbye to these people may sting, however, that is only the sting of personal growth and expansion into greater skies. Also, the more you begin taking care of yourself, and the higher of a frequency you are vibrating at, the more likely you will be to not be weighed down by people vibrating at a lower frequency.

Half of the reason I am attending acupuncture school is because I want to surround myself with other people who are interested in healing and not harming. It was my experience in this broken world that in every other profession I participated in, I was surrounded by broken people who were stealing my energy, my spirit and attacking me through invisible means. For a person as energetically sensitive as myself, the pain was incredibly depressing, and often nauseating. It would never take very much for me to feel the hurt that was being given to me by another human being. My favorite place at work would inevitably be the restroom, where I didn't have to be around anybody else. I didn't want their negativity, and I never knew what to do with it. All I knew was that many times in my life I was left standing there holding it while the person just walked away from me. I like to picture myself as a perfect snowflake, and then along comes a muddy snowflake who shakes his mud on me. That's the way energy is transfered. Believe it. Be aware. When other people are giving you their crap, either step out of the way or duck, but don't stand there and absorb it. If you have to, know how to cleanse yourself. We're talking energy. You can't see it, but it's there.

I've strayed from my point, which is that relationships are necessary for health. While there are many broken people who want to break you, too, there are also healing people who want to see you heal. Your mission is to locate those people and surround yourself with their luminescence. You can choose your friends. Begin making better choices. The foundation of your very life experience. And, when you are in situations where you have to be around a broken person, either get out asap, or verbalize your discontent by saying, "I don't like the way your speaking to me right now." Or, "The way you are speaking to me is making me very uncomfortable." Or, "If we have to work together, then I would appreciate it if you would speak to me in a respectful manner." Or, say it with your love, and no words at all. The best way to resolve differences with somebody else is to take better care of yourself, because, then what that other person says matters to you less and less. My point is, begin to recognize the energy exchange that is taking place. And, never compromise your spirit simply to keep the boat from shaking. The boat is already shaking and you would, already, half-rather be in the water with the sharks than in this damn boat with this broken person. If you must, do not stay there. _Go where you will grow_. Always go where you will grow.

____________

Focus on their innocence.

____________

NO MAN CAN SERVE TWO MASTERS

In the movie, The Karate Kid, Mr. Meoge (if that's how you spell it,) wisely said to the karate kid something like, "Stand over here, you're safe. Stand over here, you're safe. Stand in middle of road, get squished like grape." This is wonderful advice, because there is no greater pain than the pain of being wishy-washy in your approach to life. Where this lesson is most important is in the realm of love. Love is not something you only give to someone special (see, A Course in Miracles on special relationships,) but rather, love is something you either give to everybody (INCLUDING YOURSELF,) or you don't give at all. If you only save your love for one person, you are limiting your experience of joy and truth, exponentially. You will live in fear of losing that love, thinking that that is all you've got. However, if you love everyone, then you have nothing to fear, because you can never lose your love. You see the sadness in their eyes, and you look beneath it to another level, where there is light.

SELECTIVE LOVE IS NO LOVE AT ALL

Selective love is no love at all. There is no middle ground. Stand in the middle and get squished like a grape. You have to choose to either love unconditionally or not love at all. This takes practice. This takes work. Work on yourself.

____________

Paint, draw or buy sacred geometry.

____________

ON JEALOUSY

I have spent most of my life jealous of people who had what I didn't have. "What about me!" my ego would scream. However, jealousy can never last for long. At least not after you recognize your own magnificence. We are all born to do different things, and be in different places, and be with different people. If you were born to be a movie star, you will be. However, do not put your joy in living on hold, waiting for some magical moment when you are suddenly given everything you ever wanted. After all, what would you aim for if you had it all? Life would lose its meaning. We always need something to work towards. Remember, there are gifts you have that other people are jealous of. Jealousy is just the ego telling you that you'll never be loved, again, and you are doomed to hell. The ego doesn't know what it's talking about. The ego is an illusion and there is no need to fear illusions. Jealousy is fear, and all fear is simply a denial of the love and grace you are being given all the time.

____________

People who aren't doing well project their misery onto you, & try to tell you that you aren't doing well.

____________

GOING FROM WANTING TO BE LOVED TO WANTING TO LOVE

(The 180 degree shift)

I must admit that I, too, wanted to be worshipped. I wanted to be loved and hailed as the king. I wanted to do something Earth-shattering to change the world. When that didn't happen, I felt like a complete and utter failure. My plan to be loved by everyone had failed, miserably. I wanted people to recognize my genius and thank me for being in their presence. In truth, I have similar desires to this day. The only difference is (and it's a major difference,) is that now I want them for better reasons. Before, I wanted people to love me because I was better than them in some regard. Now, I want people to love me because I love them as myself. Before, I wanted to be loved. Now, I want to love. The biggest difference now is, that if I am not loved in return, that has less affect on my ability to love. I can love the most loveless person because I know that that person is still asleep in the illusion and hasn't been awakened to unity.

____________

On trusting in a higher power to guide you through this maze called life...

ON STOPPING TRYING TO BE THE SOURCE OF ALL THINGS TO OPENING UP TO THE SOURCE OF ALL THINGS.

By putting so much pressure on myself to be creative, I was in effect, trying to be the Source of all things. I was trying to stamp out Gods place in my life, by making myself a God. It is quite draining, attempting to be the Source of all things. I used to think that in order to be worthy of love, I had to be the Source of all things. It's only through subtle realizations that I learned that I am not the source of anything. Everything I have is a gift from beyond. Everything. I am the Source of nothing. Anything good that comes to me comes _through_ me or _to_ me. The only way I ever make it from point "A" to point "B" is by the grace of God. This realization brings me profound peace, when I remember it. Whenever I realize I'm not in control, I am free to observe, be grateful, and enjoy the ride.

____________

Why do you keep putting off your highest good?

____________

THE PARADOX OF CHOICE VERSUS DESTINY.

HOW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IS A GIFT FROM DIVINITY.

It's quite a strange place you come to when you realize that even though you are not in control of anything, you can still make choices. Even though you are the Source of nothing, you are still the one who partially chooses the experiences. It is a profound paradox. For instance, I can choose to go to Yoga class, and I will be in a Yoga class. I can choose to go to the coffee shop, and I will be in a coffee shop. I can think to myself, "I am creating this right now by my attention to it. Nobody is making me go to Yoga class. Nobody is making me go to this coffee shop." When I began seeing how I was choosing my experiences, I began to notice my interactions with the people at these places and I started to realize, "If I had never come to this Yoga class, this person would not be talking to me right now. I am affecting this persons life in a profound way. I have chosen to be in this persons life. If I had never come to this coffee shop, this person would not be talking to me right now. I am affecting this persons life in a profound way. I have chosen to be in this persons life." At the same time, I realize that I am in control of nothing. I can make decisions, and where I go, I affect everyone there. However, it's only by the grace of God that the Yoga class exists. And, it's only by the grace of God that the coffee shop exists. I can make choices, however, the choices I have are all gifts from God. I can choose my experience, however, everyone else is choosing their experience at the same time, and much of what exists is out of our hands.

____________

This IS your life. You're allowed to enjoy it.

____________

Recognize that your reality can change, and will change...

WHAT IS REAL?

We hear people say, "That's the reality. Get used to it. Se la vie." But, is it? Is it, really? What makes reality? Since everything is changing, all the time, what is real? People define what is real according to what happened yesterday and what they have seen other people do, and what potentially may happen. They think, "Oh, well it happened yesterday, so that's what's going to happen tomorrow." But, is it? In most people's reality, hands-on energy healing can't exist, because they haven't experienced it. However, once you've experienced it, it's impossible to deny its reality. However, if you forgot that it existed, then it would no longer be real to you. See how reality is simply a shift in perception?

Therefore, I can think to myself, "Life sucks, it's never going to get any better. There's no hope for me." And, that thought will feel very real. However, the reality of it is, that thought has no basis in reality, because reality is in a constant state of flux.

You may believe that it is not realistic to be joyful during these times when people are filled with so much darkness, however, what if it is realistic to find peace, joy, truth & wisdom for yourself? What if, not only is it realistic, but it is within your reach? What if there are people out there helping people who can also help you and would love to do so, at no charge? Believe it. The reality is, there's a humanitarian movement happening, creating a shift in consciousness. And, as long as people like me continue to believe that it is possible, it will continue. The minute people like me all give up and decide that it's hopeless, it will discontinue being real, and the world will go to hell. That's why I will never give up on love. I am the only hope for this world. People like me who see that there is another way to be in the world, and it feels damn good. Why choose hell as your reality, when you can just as easily choose Heaven? Exercise your gift to choose happiness.

____________

Beginning your spiritual journey to happiness (the road less taken...)

MOST PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES.

THEY HATE THE PERSONALITY THEY HAVE CONSTRUCTED AROUND THEIR TRUE SELF.

When I look at people these days, do you want to know what I see. I see God, covered by a thick layer of thought that says, "I am NOT God. I suck. I'm awful. I'm terrible. I'm a sinner. I need to apologize for my existence. I'm guilty. I'm not worthy of love. How could anyone ever love me? Look at me. I'm a piece of shit." The majority of society thinks this way, at least on a subconscious level. Even outwardly successful people who project success think this way. The higher I go in my connection with the Divine, the more I can see the thoughts of people.

The major and most debilitating problem with the world today is this. MOST PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES. The may not say it. The may not even know it. However, they do. They hate themselves. They hate themselves for various reasons. They hate themselves because they feel that are not good enough. They hate themselves because they feel a certain way that they were told they are not supposed to feel. They hate themselves because they never received enough loving touch in their lives. They hate themselves because they were told lies about life that they have come to believe, such as, you are only your job title, or how much money you make. That's bogus. Your worth is NEVER in question. NEVER. You never have to apologize for feeling a certain way. Can you stop a star from shining? You never have to apologize for being who you are. The major reason anybody on this Earth ever felt guilty of anything was because they were being judged by an outside party who knows nothing about the best interest of the first party. Then, the first party begins to hate him/herself because they are not living up to the expectations of the outside party, who knows nothing of peace, joy, truth or wisdom. If everybody had the best interest of everybody in mind, there would be Heaven on Earth. The problem with the way the world is today is that everybody thinks they know what is best for everybody else, however, it's just another case of the blind leading the blind. Or, should I say, the extremely sick leading the extremely sick. No healthy person would ever attempt to control another human being. A healthy human being would love all other human beings, regardless of their choices. Of course, when one human makes choices that harms others, that is not acceptable and must be remedied, however, what I am talking about here is non-judgmentalism. The root of all peace. Only people who hate themselves are capable of judging others. If you loved yourself, you would know that where love lives, judgmentalism cannot.

Most people hate themselves. That's why most people have such a difficult time working alongside other people. Most people are miserable, since few people have a strong spiritual practice. They think of themselves as a mind and a body, and that's it. When you think of yourself as a mind and a body, you will live a fearful life, because both must die. However, the spirit never dies. When you see yourself as a spirit that transcends the mind and the body, you will know peace.

So, these miserable people drag themselves into work and are so unhappy with their mind and body that they aim their anger towards other people. Then people wonder why other people act the way they do. Well, OF COURSE, they are insufferable, rude and self-righteous... they are miserable and they don't know how to take care of themselves. People who don't know how to take care of themselves don't know how to take care of others. People who hate themselves, hate others. It's a simple formula. No psychotherapy is going to solve this problem. What all these people need is healing, like Reiki, or Deeksha. An entire transformation of mental processes. A lift in consciousness.

Until we learn how to take care of ourselves, we will not know how to take care of each other. Until we learn that we are wonderful, we will not be able to see each other as wonderful. Until we learn to see ourselves with loving eyes, we will not be able to see the world with loving eyes.

____________

Allow what is.

____________

MOST PEOPLE HATE THEMSELVES

The problem with our society is that most people hate themselves. They spend all of their time on Earth trying to cover up this fact with drugs, entertainment and drama. Most people will imprison and condemn you. Divinity will set you free. If you wait for another person to set you free, you may be waiting for a long time.

THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

The spiritual journey is one of awakening from illusion to truth. The illusion of separation to the truth of unity. The illusion of worthlessness to the truth of unquestionable worth. The illusion of inferiority to the truth of nobility. The illusion of guilt to the truth of guiltlessness.

Spirituality is experiential. Religion is an intellectual exercise. I always say, "You can't intellectualize truth." Truth is beyond the mind. I can say that I am saved and going to Heaven, however, if I still feel as though I am in hell, my words are a meaningless hook cast into a meaningless ocean. What drew me to the spiritual path was completely experiential. I felt the Qi, and I was instantaneously awakened to truth. I simply followed my heart and kept doing what felt right. I never knew what the end would look like, but the path always looked brighter the more I followed my intuition. One of my good friends once said to me, "I don't always do what is considered "right." I do what feels right. Kind of a personal paradigm." To which I responded, "That's what I like about you. You have a personal paradigm." Doing what feels right is, ultimately, the only way to be. If you keep on doing what feels wrong, over and over and over again, what kind of a life is that?

Following a spiritual path is about awakening from fear and opening up to joy. So long as you fear the present and the future, you will never know joy. Once you no longer fear death, and you no longer fear life, and you will be free to live in joy. You will allow yourself to live in joy. You will accept reality as it is, and not become upset because it is not as you would have it be. Spirituality is about going with the flow and not being surprised when change occurs. It's about embracing this one moment and bringing all of your energy into timelessness. Spirituality is about the eternal present. It's about selfless service to humanity, and recognizing that humanity IS yourself. The spiritual journey is what will save this world from descending into an animalistic urges, grasping at the illusion out of fear. The spiritual journey is about remembering love and seeing beyond the illusion of separation. You've reached the door you've been looking for. It's time to wake up. _You have nothing to learn, you have only to remember who you are._ It's time to remember how to love yourself and everyone around you. We are our only hope. We have chosen darkness and forgetfulness, however, we can choose, again. Thank God for timelessness.

____________

In the future, there will be no need for words

____________

THE PURPOSE OF SPIRITUALITY

I know many people who call themselves spiritual, but don't act very kind. They may very well have a strong energetic connection with the Divine, and know how to sense energy. However, where they fall short is in extending that love outward to other people. I notice that people seek to be healed, however, many people do not seek to heal others. Unless we heal ourselves AND those around us, we will never be truly healed, ourselves.

I recently attended a spiritual gathering. The energy was very strong and the presence of the Divine was palpable, however, I was shocked with the lack of smiles on the faces of those around me. I still saw people who were looking down with a scowl on their faces, dressed in their spiritual clothing, clutching onto their spiritual gear. It is very much like their spiritual practice has become just another way for them to further individuate themselves from society, which is the exact OPPOSITE purpose of spirituality. Spirituality is a practice that is meant to unite us all in peace. I feel as though many "spiritual" people are missing the point. They believe that to be spiritual is a competition. "Look at me, I'm more connected to the Divine than you are. I'm better than you." Woah! Wait a minute. Have you read _A Course in Miracles_? If you had, you would clearly know that to fail to extend the Holy Spirit to those around you is the equivalent of denying yourself salvation.

So, there I am at this amazing spiritual event. The energy is so strong. I feel grace and Divine love surrounding me, and yet, people look sad and depressed. I was so confused! People were not extending grace to one another, but, instead, were condemning those around them, without words, in the same way non-spiritual people do on the street all day, every day. They speak of peace in the banquet hall and everyone desires salvation for themselves, yet they fail to see that their salvation lies in extending salvation to those around them. It's like they are saying, "God, please save me from all of these other sinners around me." And, yet, they don't realize that God will only save those who redeem their brothers and sisters. I witness person after person who speaks of peace on a major, global scale, and yet is not capable of presenting redemption to the soul that are directly in front of his/her face.

Here is one of the weird things about spirituality. Sometimes people who aren't spiritual at all are the happiest. Unfortunately, once you grow a conscience, there is no turning back. It's hard to go back to eating meat once you stop. It's hard to begin drinking caffeine and alcohol again, once you stop. You become healthier and healthier, but what do you do with all of that health? While, people who don't have a conscience do whatever the hell they want whenever the hell they want and have a good ol' time. The only difference is, their bodies are usually a lot sicker. So, which way is the better way to go? Should I become spiritual, or forget the whole thing and go eat a steak and get drunk? That's a tough call. The only reason I became spiritual is because I was called to it. It kept knocking on my door until I had no choice but to open it. The benefit of being spiritual, for me, is that when I am in a place of high vibration, I feel very loved by the Universe, and at peace. However, when I am back in the regular world, I kind of feel like a weirdo. Not really a weirdo, so much as in a world I no longer belong in. It's like making it to the next level in a video game and then going back to level one over and over again. You no longer fit in, doing all the things most other people do.

The only purpose of developing your spiritual practice is so that you gain spiritual power, or shakti, so that you may extend the grace of God to others. It is as Amma stated so clearly, "A spiritual practice without seva (selfless service,) is the equivalent of building a house without windows or doors." The house could have the greatest exterior and interior, yet, if nobody can use it, what's the purpose? It just takes up space. Similarly, becoming a "spiritual person," or "spiritual seeker," who becomes connected to the Divine, but does not extend God's grace to others, is useless.

I remember spending Super Bowl night alone, and thinking, "Man, I have no friends. This sucks. How come I can't be normal just party and enjoy football like everyone else? What's the purpose of me being in perfect health all the time if I'm still miserable and alone?" Ten seconds later, while driving home, I saw a Ford SUV overturned on the side of the road. Nobody was there yet to help. I instantly went into empathy mode and pulled over as fast as I could. This overwhelming feeling of great love came over me, and I hadn't even yet met the person. When I got down to the car, I saw a teenager with blood all over his hands and arms. He sat on the curb with his elbows on his knees and his hands up to his eyes, crying. I was ecstatic. This was a perfect opportunity to share my powers and the love in my heart. I intoned the Reiki symbols and put my hands on his back and let the love flow. Other people on the scene looked at me kind of weird and tried to talk the boy into calming down, but I knew that talking was so much less effective than energy work and sharing love. The boy continued to rant about how his life was over, but the Reiki worked and he soon calmed down. As paramedics and police arrived on the scene, I stood back and watched from the darkness. I felt like an angel. I imagined that I was invisible and simply there to help. When a policeman turned to look at me, I gave a knowing smile which he couldn't possibly understand. I was simply so happy and peaceful, just being there. I was grateful that I had the power to help this person and I felt like that was what I was on this Earth to do... be the love that people need so badly. Had I been out drinking all night and watching football, I wouldn't have been able to share my gift with this person in need. He made my night by crashing his car.

Afterwards, I went to the grocery store and I was so full of love that I felt invincible. Everything made sense for the rest of the night. However, that feeling passes, and once again you feel as though you are being underutilized as a healer when you go through an entire day and there is nobody that you can help. You begin to wonder why you are spiritual all over again. That is, until you have your next opportunity to be of service to a person crying on the side of the road.

____________

Sometimes, the most spiritual thing you can do is forget all about spirituality

and have a great time.

____________

WHAT DO I WANT FROM SPIRITUALITY?

I remember asking a spiritual master what spirituality wanted from me. He responded, saying, "Want from you? The question is, what do you want from Spirituality?" I've had to think about that one for a long time. What do I want from spirituality? I am looking for peace, joy, truth & wisdom. Can spirituality provide me with these virtues?

It is easy to forget that we are co-creating our lives with Divinity. Most people see life as something that happens to them, and nothing they can control at all. What this gentleman essentially said to me was this, "Look at you. You decided to come here, tonight. You decided to ask me this question. You decided to pursue spirituality. You decided to see beyond the drama most people live their whole lives acting out. So, the question is, what do YOU want from spirituality? What are you looking for?" That's a loaded question. Most of the time we are looking for something, and we don't even know what it is we seek. I believe what I have been looking for is something solid in a world of endless change. Something I can rely upon to guide me when my grasping at the illusion has failed. What I seek is guidance. Every morning when I wake up, I pray, "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace." Essentially, that is the gift that spirituality imparts. It gives you the capability to become a more elegant spirit in a world founded upon attack.

I look at this world and I see attack after attack. Most attack is non-physical. Most attack is psychological and energetic. Most attack attacks with a smile. Why did I choose to be born into a world of attack? It pains me so. However, I am here, at least for a little while, so I am going to make the best of it. What do I want from spirituality? I want a friend I can lean on when the negative forces of this world attack me with darkness.

Nowhere is this more necessary than in the workplace. There are so many different energetic and psychological dynamics floating around at work, that without a spiritual foundation, you have no protection or patience for such experiences. I find that with my black tourmaline necklace for psychic protection, and onyx bracelet for success, I am much more in control than I would be otherwise. Although, I still become agitated with all the negativity being thrown in my direction, I am much better at transmuting that energy into something positive.

____________

You can't taste everything, date everyone,

be everywhere, or experience everything.

That's why you must listen to spiritual guidance.

____________

ADDICTED TO THE SPIRITUAL SEARCH

There is only one purpose to growing spiritually, and that is so that you may increase in joy and awareness and extend that to other people. One problem that I've noticed is that some people become addicted to the search itself, and allow it to continue for year after year without claiming to become any clearer. They keep waiting for fireworks, or ascended masters to speak to them so that they know they have arrived. Spirituality is about deepening your connection to the Divine so that you may extend that love and grace to others. There is no other purpose. People who become addicted to the search may begin to use spirituality as a badge of honor, as opposed to a tool for global enlightenment. They keep looking for the next thing, when they have the perfect thing in their hands. With crystals, Deeksha, Reiki, Tai Chi and Qigong we have all the tools we need for our search to be at an end. We have the connection. Now, it is our job to share that energy with others. No more books are necessary. No more special outfits which demarcate us as someone "special." Anybody who is truly spiritual knows that no one is special. We are all equal. However, the spiritual people I saw at the function I just attended, didn't look me in the eye. They where looking to the Guru to give them grace, however, _they were not looking to give grace to those around them_. That's the difference between a truly spiritual person and a spiritual seeker. A truly spiritual person knows that the search is over, and it is only their job to extend that love to others. A spiritual seeker is simply looking to GET as much as they can, and ignores others, perpetuating the "great sorrow."

Know when then search is over. Know when it is time to extend that grace. There is nothing more important than the person standing directly in front of you. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. There is nothing you could buy. There is nothing you could do that is more important than that person in front of you, waiting for you to give them grace and redemption from their self-imposed guilt. The only purpose of receiving grace is so that you may share it. To keep it to yourself will only cause you more pain. Know what's important. Live from that truth. Set the world free. Who would you condemn but yourself? Spirituality is about extending love, not keeping it to yourself. Know what's important in life.

____________

Grace is our natural state, and there is nothing we need do to achieve it.

____________

BEGINNING OF A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

Dr. Wu began teaching me Tai Chi that first night that I learned about Qi, in his barren, little apartment on the second floor, on the coast of Florida. I went home that night and my eyes were wide open with energy, like I had just drank three espressos. Upon entering my parent's home, I said, "You'd never believe it! You see, there's this energy, and you can harness it, and, well, Dr. Wu is going to teach me how. Isn't that great!" The response I received sounded like this, "You should see yourself. Your eyes are wide open. You look crazy." My father obviously didn't share my same enthusiasm for the Earth shattering truth I had just been exposed to. The truth that _everything_ and _everyone_ is created out of energy. The fact that we are all capable of harnessing this life-sustaining energy and using it to heal ourselves, each other, and the world.

What happened over the next couple of years was truly remarkable. I followed Dr. Wu around for three and a half months and learned the 108-step Yang Style of Tai Chi. Next, I began teaching Tai Chi to others in a Yoga studio. The more I learned about this energy, or Qi, or Prana, the more I wanted to know about it, and the less anyone could explain it to me. In fact, the people in the area of the world I lived in were not open to such ideas as personal empowerment. It was like a foreign concept. What? You want me to take care of my own health by harnessing energy? That makes no sense. I can't see this energy. If you show me this energy, then I will believe you. Until then, keep your Qi nonsense out of my visual reality.

Believe me when I tell you that it was not always easy to be learning about Qi in a place where people thought I was crazy. But, then, I knew deep down in my gut that I was on to something big, and I needn't possess the approval of others to pursue truth. I was onto something more than big. Something that was going to take me places and transform me into an enlightened being. I trusted myself more than I trusted what I was being told was the "truth." Looking back, I thank my guides, and give my soul incredible credit for trusting my gut.

I spent a lot of time attempting to heal the tinitus in my ear with this energy. I would gather Qi and direct it toward where I wanted physical healing. I could feel the Qi gathering around my problem, and attempting to heal it, however, the improvement was minimal. Little did I realize that Divinity had greater plans for me than physical healing. I was at the beginning of my emotional healing journey.

I began taking Yoga, and noticed that when I practiced Yoga, I could sense my energy more clearly. Then, I met Sarah Gibson. She was a Reiki practitioner. What is Reiki? Energy healing. Oh, really? Let me in on that!

So, I became Reiki I & II certified, (and, eventually, Reiki III,) and began giving myself and others treatments. Reiki is performed by laying the hands on or above another individual, for healing purposes. It was incredible, except for the fact that I felt very much alone, peer wise, on this journey. I mean, how many male energy workers do you meet on a normal day? And, in addition, I was being given conflicting input on whether or not what I as doing was dangerous or not. Some people were telling me that I was opening myself up to being taken over by evil spirits, which I suppose is possible, but not probable. Their fear based consciousness invaded my reality, and I believed them. Once again, I simply trusted my gut and my personal reality more than what I was being told was "truth." You see, in most people's paradigms, my reality was _not possible_. Little do they know that it _is possible_. They had already decided what reality was, and my actions and experiences did not coincide.

I must admit that I did stop giving Reiki after a couple of months, since I didn't really know what I was dealing with. I needed to do more research and meet more people. That's what the next year was for.

I began researching energy modalities. I explored Barbara Brennan work, Craniosacral Therapy, Polarity Therapy, and more. I became obsessed with buying Crystals, thinking that if only I bought the correct crystal, then my hearing and depression would be fully healed. Crystals help a lot... a lot, a lot, a lot... for all sorts of different conditions and applications, however, they did not heal my hearing loss. Divinity had a different plan for me. If my hearing was healed, I may have abandoned my spiritual path, my energetic search for connection. Looking back now, it's all so clear to me why I was given this challenge, and how it has led me to become the beautiful person I am today.

Instead of physical healing, I continued bringing up emotional wounds for healing. I became incredibly sensitive to energy, however, I always had been before, but didn't have a name for it. Now, I knew what I was dealing with. Kind of. All I knew was that I could sense the vibrations of different places and areas and people. I've always been supersensitive. People would say to me, "You're older now, you need to stop being so sensitive." Stop being so sensitive? And, what, walk around through the world like a numb piece of meat? I mean, honestly, what's the alternative? If I wasn't sensitive, I would be a zombie.

I used to love going to the Yoga studio because I could _feel_ the energy there was different than most places. It was vibrating on a higher frequency. Same with crystal stores and spiritual book stores. They are all areas of raised vibration. I whole heartedly believe that in the future, everyone will be as sensitive as I am today. In fact, everyone already IS as sensitive as I am today. They simply numb themselves so they can't feel it, and I allow myself to be awake so that I CAN feel it. Why do I want to feel these subtly vibrations, you ask? Because, I feel that they are THE TRUTH speaking to me. The higher the vibration, the closer to truth. When I leave a place of low vibration for a place of high vibration, it's like leaving a factory cubicle and walking outside by a mountain lake. All of a sudden you can take a deep breath and relax. Do you know why? Because, in my view, higher vibratory locations are _more supportive of life_. What the global culture we live in today does not understand is that everything is energy being exchanged, and if we are going to deal in low-vibratory energies and thought forms, then we are going to pay the price with our health. People harm themselves, mis-create, choice after choice and then expect an MD to pick up the pieces when they begin to fall apart. I am losing my patience with humanity, but I'll hang in there. The only real excuse for living a low-vibration life is that you don't know any better. However, your gut always knows there is a better way. It talks to you all the time. Your failure to listen to your guidance IS your disease. The time for mis-creation has come to an end.

So, I decided to furthered my energy studies by attending acupuncture school. It was a practical way for me to work with energy, make a living, and move where I could surf or ski. Austin, Texas seemed like a place where a lot of spiritual enlightenment would be happening, so I went.

I was enjoying acupuncture school, but felt like something was missing. Playing guitar was fun, but it wasn't feeding my soul in a way that I was supposed to be attending to. That's when I felt an Angelic Depression setting in. What were my angels telling me? They were saying, "Get out of the house and find a community of like-minded people! Find your people. Go where you'll grow." That's when I began reaching out to the spiritual community to deepen my connection.

I went to a Deeksha, which is an energy healing form similar to Reiki. It is based out of India, and the dasas, or Deeksha givers, place their hands on your head for a few minutes to transfer the energy. For the first few weeks, I didn't really feel anything major happening. Around week four, I began noticing a shift. A great peace came over my mind, and nothing seemed to bother me as much, anymore. I began seeing life for what it was, and my drama began to fall away. I felt joy where before I felt misery. Everything on Earth still seemed meaningless, however, it didn't matter, anymore. Everything just was, and I wasn't fighting it. That opens you up to enjoy experience, no matter what it is.

This experience of enlightenment passed, however, it gave me a glimpse into truth. I knew that I had found my people. I found the truth. People who are in touch with the truth. The truth about the unity of all life, and sharing the energy of love for healing. Although the Deeksha helped me tremendously, I eventually felt called in a different direction... back to crystals. For some reason, I decided to stop doing everything spiritual and focus solely on my solo work with crystals as my spiritual path. it seemed like the best way for me to listen to my intuition and follow my gut, and it has been the best decision I ever made. Crystals speak to you in a way that no person can. They talk only truth. Everything they say makes sense. They raise your vibration. They protect you from negative energy. The increase your mental capacity. They heal your wounds. They lead you into a spiritual awakening. There is nothing you can't do with these stones. They are alive, and they are here to help us.

It's been a couple years now, that I've been pursuing my own healing and empowerment, and I am so ecstatic about where this is taking me. I love myself more and more all the time. I feel more connected to the truth. I feel as though I'm doing my life work, which is different work from most people I've ever met, however, it is my reality.

In my different energetic experiences, with Tai Chi, Reiki, Craniosacral Therapy, Barbara Brennan healing, I am fairly certain of one thing. I could be completely wrong, however, I believe that we all work with the same energy. It's the energy of love. It's the Qi. it's the Prana. Call it what you will. Sing a certain song to get it flowing. Meditate or whatever you have to do, however, once it is flowing through you, it's all the same. It's your connection to the one source. And, I love this fact, because, it means that we are all on the right track. It's not like, "Oh, craniosacral is better than Brennan, or Deeksha is better than Reiki." In what has become my truth, all of these wonderful people are working with the power of love to heal and release energy blockages and old patterns of disharmony. It's the way humanity is supposed to be! Sharing the energy of love. Allowing it to flow freely from one person to another. Let's not make this difficult, folks. Let's not put a special name on it and say that only people in a certain income bracket can use it. Or, you have to be blessed by a certain master who was specifically given this gift. You don't have to wear any special clothing or worship any special gods. All you have to do is relax and open up to your connection from the Divine source. That's it! No tricks. Nothing unusual. In fact, to me, there is nothing more natural in the known world than opening up to this energy. However, living in a culture that is so embedded in a visual, materialistic mindset, the majority of humanity can't comprehend opening up to the source. They say, "Well, what exactly do I have to DO? What will it do for me? Will it make me rich? Will it make me more attractive? What's the point of opening up to this Divine source you claim to be in connection with?"

What's the point in opening up to the Divine source? Let me begin. How about this: The end of your fear of separation which keeps you from experiencing bliss. Once you have your first energetic experience, there's no going back to seeing the world the way you used to. Suddenly, everything is so alive, and you are so connected to it. And, not only that, but this world needs you. You suddenly feel a sense of belonging and purpose that you didn't feel before. You become stronger, more energetic, more alive, and more healthy. You feel more like who you were born to be than you ever have before.

As I continue down this path of opening up to the Divine source, the path grows wider and wider and the sky grows bluer and bluer. This is because I realize that I am intricately connected with the Divine. I am loved and I am love. That's why I am not in control of my life anymore (not that I ever was to begin with.) I have resigned my ego into retirement, and the Qi is in charge, now. What does this Qi want from me? Why is it leading me around? I can only surmise that the Qi is taking me closer and closer to the truth and wisdom I have always asked for. It's taking me closer and closer to the light of love. The more I open up to it, the more it gives me, on and on, eternally. The goal not being to become a master, but rather, to become a servant. A servant of the light. A servant of the truth. A servant of love. Where will I go from here? Ultimately, it makes absolutely no difference so long as I go there with love. That's the lesson. Be the light. Be the love. Open up to the Divine source. As for me, I'm going Where the Qi Takes Me.

"I surrender to what is, while working toward what could be. I am patient with all questions, unresolved. YOU are in control now. YOU have always been speaking to me, and now I am listening. I will be your body. I AM your body. YOU will always steer me in the correct direction, because only YOU know what is best for me. Into YOUR hands, I commend my spirit."

"Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you."

____________

Let the world spin around you all it wants to,

But, don't let it get you down.

____________

BEING SPIRITUAL DOES NOT MAKE YOU SEPARATE

I have met many spiritually connected people who have not yet learned the value of other people, and are therefore, still unhappy. Remember, without extending the grace you have been given to others, the grace you have is meaningless. Many people are looking for greater and greater ways to connect with the divine, and yet there is still a sadness within them. I now realize that when you are not extending your spiritual grace to others, you turn instead to a sort of spiritual superiority. The ego says, "I'm more spiritual than you, you'd never guess the vision I had last night," or, "I'm spiritual, so I don't have to be kind to you," or, "I'm connected to spirit, and so, I don't have to be connected to you." That's nonsense. You can be spiritual and running a lot of energy, and still be depressed. That comes from a denial of the truth. The truth is that we are all one. As I stated earlier, whenever you deny another person grace by viewing them as guilty, you have propagated the separation, and will feel its pain in your solar plexus. That's why, it's so important to realize that your first order of business in any situation is to acknowledge the divinity of the person you are with and to be invisible. Acknowledge their highest self. Acknowledge that they are innocent, despite any way they may be mis-creating their current reality by denying their truth.

____________

In this Holy Instant, you are completely free and redeemed.

____________

IS ONE ACTIVITY MORE SPIRITUAL THAN ANOTHER?

Is it more spiritual to do Reiki or be a rock star? They are both the same. Is it more spiritual to give Deeksha or be a plumber? They are both the same.

Nothing is more spiritual than anything, because we are all equal. ANYTHING THAT CELEBRATES YOUR SOUL IS SPIRITUAL. Listening to music is an extremely spiritual experience, even if it's heavy metal. You experience yourself beyond the body. Anything that celebrates life is spiritual. Sitting at a desk and never doing anything spiritual in your life does not make you less spiritual, you simply will not realize your spiritual nature. No action is better than any other action.

What it means to be spiritual is to celebrate your existence and care for yourself and others. It means, being a force of love in the world. That's it. Nothing more. That's why there is nothing you HAVE to do to be a more spiritual person, but there are things that you COULD do to experience yourself as a more beautiful and graceful being.

It's a choice.

____________

Be invisible. Be defenseless. Be non-judgmental.

____________

LAUGH ABOUT YOUR OWN SPIRITUALITY

I have found that laughter is the most important part of any day. Without laughter, you are just a robot. We live in dark, dark times. Most people are utterly miserable, and you can see it directly upon their face. We as a human race haven't figured out how to enjoy living, which is quite sad, because we could have it either way. We could choose to be joyful, giving, sharing, loving, etc., but for whatever reason, instead we choose to take life extremely seriously and become extremely sad in the process. One reason for this is that we are not connecting with one another the way nature intended. Another reason is that the majority of the people in the world don't know about Qi or believe they are connected to anything metaphysical. Think about the way we live our lives in modern times. We are so disconnected from nature and the rhythm of life. Is their anything very natural about traveling at 45-75 miles per hour over concrete every day, never satisfied wherever you are and always looking to make it to the next destination? Hmm. I think not. So, our separation from living as nature intended, along with the cheapened value of human life has turned our society into a mishmash of chaotic creatures bouncing from place to place and never feeling at peace.

Ever since I learned about spirituality, I have taken my path very seriously. To the point of shunning everything else in this world, and considering it profane. I was fed up with everyone running around with their fragile ego's, always ready to attack you at a moment's notice. It's easy to want to escape from this material reality because we've botched it up so well. However, life on the material plain does not have to suck. We have chosen to make it suck, but it doesn't have to suck. How did the word "suck" get a negative connotation, anyway? Anyhow, we can change all of this, and it will have to change soon, because the planet is about to fight back.

The more I deepened my spiritual search, the more I felt that everything else was meaningless. Then, I came back around and saw everything as being sacred. The world is no less holy than other planes of existence. It's simply hard to tell, because most people do not think of life as holy or sacred. Most people think of life as a pain in the ass. What we don't recognize is that WE are the answer we've been looking for, and living on Earth could be so much more of a beautiful experience.

My point is, I took my spiritual path very seriously, to the point of rejecting this Earth. A word of caution. Do not take your spiritual search too seriously. Anything approached without a sense of play is improperly approached. HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SPIRITUALITY. Don't make it a chore. Don't use it as a way to reject the rest of the world. Explore it, but don't make it who you are, rejecting all other aspects of yourself. Remain playful. We were put here to have fun. We were put here to experience art and music and laughter. Life without these things is a drag. So, do your spiritual work, but also do your play work, which is equally as important.

In America, we have everything we could ever want except for the only things we really want. Peace & Joy. T.V. news? Negative, negative, negative. Newspapers? Negative, negative, negative. You may not be aware of this, but GOOD THINGS HAPPEN EVERY DAY. Austin Texas is supposed to be one of the top places to live in the country, and still, most of the people I see look just like the people everywhere else I've been. Just go and sit in a Wal-Mart parking lot, or a Target parking lot, and look at the faces of the people going in and out. Do you really want to tell me that this is how we were intended to live? Frazzled and at our wits end. THIS IS NOT NORMAL, PEOPLE. This is not how we were intended to live. Everybody is running around like crazy and hardly anyone is finding what they are looking for. Living miserably is considered normal these days, however, I choose to not live in that reality.

____________

What do I need, and what don't I need?

What do I need?

What do I want?

Do I need what I want?

I need what I want, because...

____________

Healing is an ongoing process that extends far beyond your physical body...

WHEN STRUGGLE ENDS, HEALING BEGINS

I'm here to help you, so listen to me. The quickest path to health and well-being is surrendering. Surrendering to what is, as you gracefully walk toward what _could_ be. This is where all of your strength comes from. Not from overpowering the Universe, but from going with the natural flow of the Universe. Every time you feel awful, or separate from God, it's because you are going against the natural flow of the Universe. You are trying to create your own reality and make it better than what has been given to you. However, you can't make it better. Whenever you say, "I want this, and that's it," and you don't listen to your intuition, then you will inevitably further yourself from peace. There's a reason why everyone in our society is so depressed. It's because we aren't LISTENING to the natural flow of the Universe from the Divine. We are saying, "No, I want it my way," and the Universe is saying, "Okay, you can have it your way," and watches as we suffer the consequences. As we struggle against the unity of all life, we deny our connection to all that is, and in turn, we feel awful. When we stop seeing ourselves as separate beings, and begin to embrace our unity, we will know more joy than we can possibly imagine.

You can't change everyone or everything. You can change your direction. The more relaxed you are, the quicker you will heal. In order to become as relaxed as possible you need to be as content as possible with the direction you're going. If you don't like the direction you are going, it is going to be that much harder for you to heal. There is only one way to be completely content, and that's to already have everything you've ever wanted. "How could I possibly have everything I've ever wanted, Brian, that's ridiculous." Maybe, in the physical plane it is. But, you can close your eyes and imagine. Imagine your life the way you would like for it to be, then begin adjusting externally.

If all you've ever wanted is love and peace, then it's yours for the taking. Simply be loving and be peaceful, and find other loving and peaceful people. Of course, when you are in a battle zone, it's that much harder, albeit the perfect place to practice. "I do my spiritual work at Wal-Mart," Sarah Gibson used to say to me. Spiritual practices and crystals help you so that you can deal with the insanity of a world gone mad. First, you have to be able to imagine what it is you want, or at least how you want to feel. Then, you will have everything that you've ever wanted. The physical experiences will just be icing on the cake, however, unnecessary to your enjoyment of the cake itself. You will have everything you've ever wanted, and more. An outrageous statement. Try it. Be sure to incorporate scent, movement, and laughter.

Here's a good exercise. Every once in a while throughout your day, stop for a few seconds and imagine that you already possess everything you've ever wanted. Feel peace wash over you. There's nothing left to worry about! It's all yours, now. Feel it, touch it, taste it. Notice how you release a tension you didn't even realize you were holding. Your arms hang a bit lower, your breathing deepens, you begin to smile, and you are home. The struggle ends, right then and there. And, when the struggle ends, your healing begins. Of course, you must return to your stressful reality, however, the stress will be reduced.

____________

Only invest in those things which are eternal.

____________

LIFE SUPPORTS LIFE

In the past couple of years, I have been walking a spiritual path, looking for healing, peace, joy, truth & wisdom. When I say a spiritual path, essentially I mean, listening to my intuition and following the Qi. I've met many wonderful people and seen hundreds of different healing modalities and spiritual practices (or, practices that use energy movement.) One day, I believe that we will stop calling spiritual work spiritual, and instead call it something more energy related. When you call it spiritual, although it may very well be, you instantly invite criticism from an insensitive majority. I am fairly certain that we are all working with the same energy. The energy of life itself. Call it Qi, Prana, whatever. It sustains us, whatever it is. The less we care for ourselves, the less Qi we can feel. Our connection with this Divine Life-Force is severely diminished. That's why it is so important for you to care for yourself, as well as others. This life force cannot be deceived. It rewards those who listen to it with more energy. It ignores those who ignore it. If you ever have low energy in your life, it's always because you are not tending to your connection to the Divine Source.

When we begin our spiritual journey, we look for that one person who has the perfect answer for us. Let me save you some time and tell you that your journey is your journey. There is nothing you have to do. There are endless forks in the road. You can only ever choose one at a time. If you require healing, keep taking different forks, however, do not become discouraged when you can't find the "one" truth. Ever since I learned about spirituality and began to feel the energy, I wanted to experience it all. I had to find that perfect healing modality to heal my broken heart, and for me to share with others. I had to find that one truth. There are many options to choose down a spiritual path, but what's best? How do I grow spiritually, quickly? Do I have to wear a special outfit? Do I have to worship a particular "god." Do I have to burn a certain number of incense sticks? Do I have to meditate for a certain number of hours? And, when all is said and done, will this make me happy?

For me, personally, I DID heal my heart. And, I did it with crystals. I DID find a way to grow spiritually quickly, and I found it with crystals. Now, I wear my moldavite necklace, permanently. It keeps me in a state of joy and protection from negative energies.

Your goal on this planet is to be of service to yourself, and by doing, all of humanity. So, it is imperative to your happiness that you clear out all of that evil qi you are carrying around. Others need you, but first, you need to become the brightest candle around. People need you just as much as you need them. First, you must recognize that you are alive and completely connected with all else that is. It's as simple as that. You may think you are separate, but it is an illusion. Could you live without food? Could you live without water? Okay, that settles it. You're connected. You need other life to sustain your own. Now comes the big question. Do you honor that natural truth? Do you respect yourself as a living entity that needs other living entities to survive healthily? If not, you've got a great gift coming. The gift of awakening.

What's truly important, when all is said and done in this world, is that you supported life as best you could. That means your own. That means the lives of others. That means plants. That means animals. That means life.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Up to this point, you haven't understood that you were being supported in all you do by all else that is. Now, you know that you cannot do it alone. This is one key to your happiness. With this one understanding, as you begin to care for your body and other living things, you will begin to understand what it truly means to be alive. Life supports life. If your life is not supporting your OWN life, not to mention the lives of others, then you are not truly alive. You are simply eeking by. I don't care how many objects you possess. Congratulations. If you aren't supportive of your life and all life around you, you will never be happy.

That, I promise you.

____________

You don't have to apologize for wanting what you want.

You want what you want, and that's it.

No apology necessary.

____________

Everything and everyone, including you, is energy...

PEOPLE MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING
Of course we are miserable. Look at the life we've created for ourselves! We see each other as obstacles to be avoided, and "dealt with." When, at the deepest level, what we all long for is communion and union with all that is. A strong relationship and connection with one person is fabulous, however, can you imagine having that same bond with everybody else you meet? That's our destiny. To give any one person special significance over anybody else is to reject yourself, since we are all one. See the divinity in everyone you meet. You must look beyond their huge frown and defenses, however, their divinity is there.

I look people in the eyes when I go running, and invariably, they will look down and to the right at the ground. They don't acknowledge their connection with all that is. They don't acknowledge their connection with me. Subsequently, they feel pain and continue to frown. Do you see? Do you understand? We have an unspoken agreement with each other as a society that life is supposed to be hard and we are not supposed to be there for one another unless it's an emergency. We don't see the glorious value of connecting at a realistic level at any other time. That's why it feels so great when you see someone fall off of their motorcycle and you rush over to help them up. Because, as a society, we have agreed that it is acceptable to acknowledge our unity in this situation. You feel a rush of love come over you, because you are acting in accordance with the will of the Universe, which is that we quit mis-creating our reality by denying our union.

____________

Give everyone you meet the gift of unconditional acceptance.

____________

PEOPLE SUPPORT PEOPLE

Find a way to bring people together in an authentic way so they may be forever changed. People together, with only the intention to heal one another. No modality is needed. Simply a group of people together with no purpose other than to be together and breathe together. That's all that is needed. No doctrine. No script. Simply people to listen to one another and breathe together. That's all. That's all this world needs. People spending time with people just to be with people in a way that is supportive of people. No show. No veil. No nonsense to cover up the truth.

THE PERSON IN FRONT OF YOU IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON

Your most important job in life is the person standing right in front of you. You can imprison them or set them free.

BE AWARE OF WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.

In my years of working in office cubes, I always felt like something awful was going on energetically that I could feel. Something major was missing from that environment, and that thing was peace that comes from harmony with spirit. In a place where spirit is dead it is easier to make decisions that harm others and feel no pity. Hmm... many corporations? All I knew was that I felt horrendous after being around certain people and in certain situations. Now, I know that was not my imagination. It is clear to me that every interaction you have with anyone or anything is an energy exchange. And, believe me, some of the people you are exchanging energy with in life do not have energy you want. Imagine every encounter you have with another person is like stepping into a new world you've never been to before. Is this world lush and green, full of fresh air and water, or is it a barren wasteland full of mosquitoes? Every person carries their own world of energy, much like that example. Their energy either recharges you, or drains you. Oversimplified? Maybe. However, very true, and not just an abstract idea. The only thing about this energy is that you can't SEE it. Or, most people can't see energy.

So, be aware. That's the first step. The second step is to know when people are sucking your energy, and more importantly, when YOU are sucking other people's energy. The best way to not be an energy vampire is to look away from that person and focus on what you are there to do. Crystals can help you to maintain your own space, and do a wonderful job. I have a black tourmaline chakra pendant that grounds negative energy when it is sent in my general direction. I know it is working because after encounters with people I don't feel as awful as I used to. Protect yourself with crystals. You will be such a source of light, that nobody will be able to shake your foundation.

I personally believe that spirit uses this energy exchange mechanism as a way of healing the group. Because, if you couldn't share your energy with others, they would have to help themselves, and therefore would have less chance of survival. Therefore, energy exchange is a survival mechanism. The problem with this culture we live in today is that we aren't aware of how little we know about our energy bodies. The more in touch you become, the more you realize where you are gaining and losing power. The goal behind learning about energy exchange is to find out where you are gaining power, and continuing to perform those activities; and discovering where you are losing Qi, and altering your approach to those activities, if not cutting them out completely. For instance, every time you complain, you lose energy.

____________

You need to care for yourself. Make healing choices.

____________

Loving yourself is the only way to heal...

PERMISSION TO BE YOURSELF & TO BE ALIVE

For my entire life, I have been apologizing for my existence. Dumbing down my light so that other people would feel less threatened by my presence. Apologizing for the way I feel, sucking up everybody's negative energy like some kind of martyr. Apologizing for being so full of love, and stuffing it in so that nobody could see it. Apologizing for being sensitive to energy. Apologizing for being a peacemaker. Apologizing for being me. Those days are over.

I am 29 years old and I no longer have the energy for hiding my light. So, here is my secret. I FEEL. I FEEL so much. I FEEL so deeply that I hardly know what to do with all my feelings. My heart longs for union. In our culture, that's something to be ashamed of. We're supposed to pretend like we live in a solid world of right and wrong, which is the complete antithesis of our very existence. We live in a world of creation. Creation is neither right nor wrong. It simply is. Saying it is right or wrong to feel a certain way is like asking somebody to not trust themselves or wake up in the morning. Growing up in a world where it's shameful to feel and being a feeler is a recipe for unnecessary suffering. I've been suffering all these years in order to please a society that cares nothing for me. All it cares for is to keep everybody miserable so that they remain subordinate. Today, we think that it's NORMAL to be miserable because we're so used to it. However, it's no more normal to be miserable than it is to be radiant, joyful and at peace in your heart. You say that one is more _realistic_ , however, let's examine that statement.

Is it more realistic to be hungry than it is to be full? Both feelings are realistic. Therefore, what's realistic is simply whatever you are experiencing at the time, and that can always change. So, next time you say that it's more realistic to be miserable and think that everything sucks, recognize that you are only saying that because that's what you are used to, and not what is actually real. What's real is in a constant state of flux. Keep fluxing in a positive direction. Pretty soon, you'll be saying, "What the flux! Life gets better every day." Change the CD in your car for your own good. Oh, and drive in a different direction every once in a while.

____________

When love resides inside of you, you have to smile. There's no faking it.

____________

The ball is in your court, what will your next move be?

IN-BETWEEN MOMENTS/EVERY SECOND IS A CHOICE

You can tell what you're supposed to be doing in life by the way it makes your energy body feel. Do you feel more energized when performing that activity? Do you feel depleted? Do you feel better when you say that? Do you feel worse? Do you feel better when you think that? Do you feel worse? Get in touch with your truth.

These in-between moments are the MOST IMPORTANT, because that's where all of your major choices are made. That's where you ask the question, "Okay, what's next? How shall we grow, now? What am I creating for myself?" Recognize these in-between moments are wonderful gifts to make good next choices. What wonderful power you have! Even now, you could choose to put this book down and do whatever you think of next. It's up to you. Recognize this power. Acknowledge and honor it. It's a gift. The Universe never says, "Oh, you idiot! That's it, your life is over." No, the Universe always says, "That was interesting. So, what should we do next?" Choice, choice, choice. If you have been really screwing up your life, recognize that the Universe has not given up on you and never will. You will always have a chance for redemption in your next choice, and your next, and your next. Remember, _salvation is never in your last choice, but is always in your next choice._

____________

It takes a real man or woman

to go down the path of self-reflection.

The path of harmlessness.

The path of authenticity.

The path of love.

____________

Not everyone will support your growth...

DON'T LOOK FOR PERMISSION TO BE HEALTHY OR AMAZING

I am now breaking the news to you that most people don't care about your health. Most people don't care about their own health, so why should they care about yours? In fact, it is usually more beneficial for others if you remain sick the rest of your days upon this planet. Why is this? Simple. This is due to the fact that when you are sick, you are much more predictable and easy to control and make money off of. When you are sick, people can sell you things you don't really need. When you are sick, you don't question authority or the life you are living. You merely accept it and say to yourself and others, "that's life." However, THAT IS NOT LIFE. That's death. Abdicating your health to everyone else around you is like investing in [fill in the blank with something that will never give you a return on your investment.]

What you must understand is that most people do not even care about _their own_ health, so why would they care about yours? Sure, they care about numbing themselves from the truth, however, that is quite different from becoming healthy and whole. The difference between numbing yourself from awakening and becoming whole is your personal dedication to examine your entire life and the choices you are making. This process reveals everything. It's like shining a spotlight upon your innards. There's no place left for you to hide. You have to become honest. Most people aren't interested in TRUE healing (sure, they're interested in pain reduction,) but not TRUE healing, because true healing would mean an entire makeover of their actions. And, how many people like to change their actions from the day before? Surprisingly, it is one of the more difficult feats to accomplish. It requires that you examine where you're losing power and reorganize your approach.

Therefore, don't ask before doing something healthy for yourself. Simply do it. I wrote a song called, "Motion With Meaning," in which the lyrics read, "There's such a thing as getting away with taking good care of yourself/There's such a thing as putting your own mind first before somebody else does it for you/And, there's such a thing as people who want you to stay where you are so they know where to find you/There's such a thing as getting away with taking good care of yourself/It's called Motion With Meaning/All I want is to like what I'm feeling/Motion With Meaning/All I want is to know I'm still breathing..."

Define yourself or others will define you. Become so busy defining yourself, that you don't have any energy left over to be concerned with how others are defining you. This is the key to self-esteem. Knowing that you can define yourself, over and over again, and nobody else can ever define you unless you allow them to. Defy categorization.

Take my advice and take care of yourself. You're worth it. Don't ask for permission to be healthy or amazing. Few people will give it to you.

I was speaking with an astrologist whose presence had a profound effect on my life. I began to ask him questions about life and how to live it. He said to me something that no one else ever had, before. He said, "You're a man now." In just those four words, something clicked in my mind that hadn't before. Essentially, he was giving me permission to trust myself, and not the "men" around me. He was saying, "You are no longer out of control of your destiny. It is up to you to decide what is real and what isn't, and live accordingly. You are no longer a product of society. You are now required to decide for yourself the kind of life you want to live." Those four words were the greatest gift anyone could have given me. For the first time in years, I felt in my heart a sort of lift. Like a shrugging off of all the burdens I have ever been charged with. I was being given permission to be myself. I was being told my future was in my hands, and I didn't have to make the same poor choices as men before me. I still didn't have all the answers, however, it mattered less than it did before.

____________

Sex is supposed to be a celebration of life, not an apology for it.

____________

Have some foresight...

WE'RE ALL GOING TO MORDOR

Whenever I begin to worry or become stressed about some concept in my mind, I remind myself of this simple truth; that we are all going to Mordor to throw away the ring. It's like that saying, "In 100 years, all new people." Or, for me, in 70 years, all new people. I'm going to die anyway, so who cares? In the movie version of the Lord of the Rings, there is a moment in Frodo and Sam's adventure when it becomes apparent that their lives may never be the same. The may never be going home to the Shire. Upon the rocky, barren landscape of Mount Doom, Frodo asks Sam, "What about food for the return trip?" Sam Gamgee turns to Frodo, son of Drogo, and says, "I don't think there will be a return trip, Mr. Frodo." This recognition was delayed by holding on to the past, their life in the Shire. There's something inherently stressful about holding on to the past. It's a violent assault on your present. It says, "What I was was more important that what I am. Where I was was more important than where I am." Both lies. What happened next was truly inspirational. With this realization that there may be no going back, there was no other option but to go forward. This revitalized the hobbitses, to pick up and keep on going at a faster pace. Your life is no different. When you finally realize there is no going back to the Shire, you will suddenly be invigorated with a new energy you didn't have before. The energy to forge ahead, despite anything in the past. And, truly, that's all we've got. The past is an illusion. The future is an illusion. The present is where you will make a positive change in your life.

We are our only hope... You are your only hope...

CLOSING THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US ALL

We must unite, or we will never be happy. Separation is an illusion. Look at the globe from outer space. Keep on zooming out until you see the Earth on the tip of your finger. Keep on zooming out until the Earth completely disappears from your vision. Where did it go? It didn't go anywhere. It's still in the same place. One with all that is. You can pull farther and farther away from life, but are you truly getting anywhere? You can't leave this game. You can only play it. And, recognizing that you are intricately connected with all that is is a wonderful realization. It completely improves how you interact with the rest of the world. Because, the rest of the world IS YOU. LITERALLY. That's why what you do for your brothers and sisters, you do for yourself. Because, they are you. A difficult concept to grasp, but only because the Ego will cry out, "Nooooooooo! I am separate! I am better! I am the BEST!!!"

You may be better. You may be the best. However, if that is the case, then everyone else around you is the better and is the best as well.

For whatever reason, we decided to become mirrors of creation, which is what we essentially are, creation witnessing creation. Witness what you are creating in your life. Do you like what you see? Do you life what you feel? How could you improve your life experience? How could you close the distance between yourself and other aspects of creation? Because, ultimately, that's the key to your happiness. Closing the distance between yourself and yourself. And, you can never close the distance between yourself and yourself by calling yourself someone else. See? Only by calling yourself all others will you find true joy. It's the idea of separation that causes your pain. It's the action of separation that causes your pain. We were never meant to be alone, because we support one another. If you feel alone and abandoned by God, it's because you haven't yet discovered a way to connect on a real level. Metapersonality, metamentality, metaego. If you can connect with other people beyond these superficial layers of triviality, you can reconnect with yourself. I don't care what badge you are wearing. I don't care what uniform you have on. I don't care what your income bracket is. We are one. I don't care what city you grew up in. I don't care what your movie collection looks like. I don't care how many tattoos you have to individuate you. We are one. I don't care what you pride yourself in. I don't care what you blame yourself for. I don't care what you have done or what you will do. We are one, and will always be one.

____________

Every person you judge is a stab in your own gut.

____________

BENEATH THIS SKIN, WE ARE ALL THE SAME

Until you learn to look beneath people's defenses, you will only see an enemy, or someone not to be trusted. However, beneath it all, everyone is exactly the same. That's why it is so important to decide to see people as they really are, and decide to not condemn other people. When you condemn other people, you condemn yourself. Look into their eyes and smile, and when they frown and look down or away, keep smiling. They haven't yet recognized the truth, or found other people who support the truth with them. Until they do, they will feel separate. So, the point is, you have to decide, "Am I going to love everyone unconditionally, even if they attempt to harm me? Or, am I going to love some people and condemn others because they have not yet earned my love, and thereby, keep the sadness of this world in full swing?" It's up to you. If you make the decision to be selective in who you love, you will experience the pain associated with such a decision.

The only reason you are unhappy is because you are not realizing your potential...

YOU BELONG HERE (or, IT MAY NOT FEEL LIKE IT, BUT YOU BELONG ON THIS PLANET)

What am I doing on this Earth? Good question. Let me answer it for you. You are here to create. Create, create, create. That's it. Is it good? Is it bad? It just IS. Keep on creating because that's all you can do. What you create is up to you. Remember, we all have the power to create, as well as the power to mis-create. You may find yourself tempted to mis-create, however, be aware that mis-creation increases the distance between you and life. It will make you feel more separate and more alone, and is that what you really want? Therefore, create, but be vigilant to not mis-create. You will know what mis-creation is while you are mis-creating, because you will feel it in your gut. You will know.

You were born onto this planet, so you may as well make the most of it. How do you make the most of it? One step at a time. One decision at a time. Create, create, create. Create wisely. When you mis-create, readjust.

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

How couldn't you be? If you were meant to be somewhere else, you would be somewhere else. Do you see how that works? When the student is ready, the teacher appears. You are always in the perfect position to learn your next lesson.

I know in my own life I often wonder if I am doing enough to make a difference in this world. I finally came to the realization that no matter where I was on the planet, there was work I could do there. Why? Because, people are everywhere. And, people need healing. Emotional, Mental, Physical, Spiritual. _Every interaction I have with another human being is the most important part of my day_. Every interaction is me coming face to face with God. The love and complete acceptance I show them will alter their entire future. I can be a quiet, yet potent force for change in the world, simply by acknowledging the divinity and highest potential within everyone I meet. This is a new approach for me. After reading 'A Course in Miracles,' I realized how I have been charging everyone as guilty up and to this point of my life. Every person I would meet, I would wait for them to redeem themselves in my eyes, somehow. What a mistake. Now, I realize that it's my greatest job, and in fact, my only job, to see the truth within them, so that they may see it in themselves. This is accomplished by looking at everyone you meet as the most important encounter you will ever have. And, in a way, it is. Do you have any idea how many lives you could improve by giving other people the gift of your honest, attentive, full and undivided attention? You could change the world. And, you will.

All of my sadness has come from this lack of connection with people. Now that I realize this, I am making every effort to be around people and to share the gift of our lives together. We are not meant to be alone and hoard objects and lock our doors and watch television. It's unnatural, and you know it, because you can feel it. Of course, you can also deny it. Your choice.

DON'T ASK WHY THINGS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE, ASK HOW YOU CAN MAKE THEM BETTER

Just as Carolyn Myss says, don't ask why things are the way they are. It's too big of a mystery. Simply ask yourself what you can do to make this place better. It's like they say in Lord of the Rings, "Even the smallest person can make a difference."

FREE YOURSELF... GO WHERE YOU'LL GROW

Where do I go? What do I do? Well, that's the million dollar question, isn't it? May I offer a suggestion? Go where you'll grow. I don't mean physically. I mean spiritually. Which leads us to the next question, which is, What does it mean to be a spiritual person? That's an excellent question and one which I've been pondering for quite some time. I have decided that to be a spiritual person is to recognize that there is much, much more to you than you can see. Also, there is much, much more to everyone else than you can see. Being spiritual is tending to your inner world as much as your outer world. It's about listening to guidance through your gut. It's about acknowledging the divinity in others (really yourself) and celebrating them (really yourself.) It's about offering up your violence to the light and recognizing that life supports life. To attack in any form is a denial of the truth of unity, and will only cause more pain. Being spiritual is about putting the Qi of life first, and putting desires of the ego last, and letting spirit make the decisions for you. It's called the spiritual law of attraction. It's about recognizing that you are only partly in control. It's about surrendering to the great life force which is about to flow through you. It's about feeling connected. It's about being connected. It's about doing only things which upgrade you and surrendering all those things which would downgrade you to the light. It's about honesty. It's about integrity. It's about saying what you mean and meaning what you say. It's about congruency. It's about integrity and consistency. It's about regrouping your fragmented spirit and calling it back to you. It's about loving yourself so much that nobody can hurt you. It's about becoming the light, so that it pours out from your hands. It's about reconnecting to truth.

____________

Let your 'self' die, and begin your work as your true "Self"

____________

WHEN YOU ARE WITH OTHER PEOPLE

Give them the gift of unconditional acceptance. Focus on their guiltlessness. Be invisible. Listen. Don't allow yourself to be drained by energy vampires.

LET US FOCUS ON OUR SIMILARITIES

I have always known that I was here to do something different from the norm. Not that I am any better than anybody else, only that I am more awake to the truth, and so I am in a position to help usher other people into the Golden Age, the age of enlightenment. The age where we focus on our similarities and not our perceived differences. The age where we let go of the idea that to be set apart, and to be worshipped, is to be free. The age where we come to realize that the most important moment is the moment we spend with another person. The age where we share because it brings us great joy. The age where we touch strangers on the shoulder as we're walking down the street. The age where gentle, loving touch is natural and not perverse due to unnatural suppression. The age where, when one person is sick, the whole town gathers around and does healing energy work. The age where, when one person is lonely, the whole town invites him/her inside.

____________

When we stop seeing each other as objects to be avoided,

we will be enlightened.

____________

MORE ON OTHER PEOPLE

If you think that all other people are the source of your pain, think again. There are some people caring positive energy and people carrying negative energy. It's just a fact. However, without other people, what would you do with your time, here? The problem with our culture is this; We all know the truth. "How would that be a problem?" you ask. The problem is that we all know our true potential as humanity, and yet we are not living up to it. This is what causes all of our suffering. I see people everyday. People aren't looking at other people, or acknowledging them. Everybody sees everybody else as obstacles to get around to get where they are going. This is asinine and must stop. Am I the only person this is blatantly obvious to? No, I have a few friends who also acknowledge the truth. Everybody else is simply delaying their own peace.

I was going for a run by the river and noticed all the other runners, and how they have their earplugs in and look down as not to see you pass by. Over 98% of them have huge frowns on their faces. They are getting fit, physically, but denying true health or healing, interiorly.

Here is my vision for the future of this planet. While, during these dark times, my vision seems impossible and preposterous, I believe that what you will find is that my vision for the future is the only future any of us truly desire. In the future, we will not ignore one another all around town, and, in fact, when future societies look back at this time when we were so capable of being there for one another and chose instead to focus on fear and separateness, they will feel enormous sadness at the prospect. This is because they will be realizing the reality that we _could_ have now, if we all changed our approach to other people. Some of the most popular films in the video store are horror films. Well, isn't that just great, let's keep focusing on what could go wrong instead of our true potential. Why don't we make movies about unconditional love and peace? Why are we so hell bent on destroying ourselves? it defies logic.

Instead of looking at other people as objects that are in our way (which, as I already mentioned, is the cause of all of our suffering and depression,) we could just as easily acknowledge the divinity in everyone we meet. I am fully convinced that all of our sadness comes from our denial of truth, and lack of respect for our bodies and nature. The truth of our unity is what we must honor. The more we see ourselves as separate, the more we suffer. And, yet, we continue to choose suffering over salvation for a reason that is unknown to me. It's insane.

So, in the future, this is what it will look like when people are on a trail jogging. Every person will smile at every other person passing by, because there will be an unspoken agreement in the society that we are all ONE.

This is how it will look on the sidewalks of the city. Strangers will pass by one another and gently brush arms, shoulders and hands... to simply acknowledge their presence and to give them an energetic boost. Remember, every interaction is an energetic exchange, even if no words are spoken. In todays world, when we pass one another on the street, we either look down or move as far away as possible. Are those the actions of an enlightened species? Do I have to answer that question?

Until we see with our real eyes, and acknowledge that we are all one, there will be sadness, suffering and depression. it's as simple as that. You keep looking for answers to depression and think that it's because you have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Well, if you _do_ have a chemical imbalance, the only reason is because you are not being true to yourself, and are not living in a society based on love. Being true to yourself would mean connecting with fellow humans in a loving manner as often as possible, and in today's society, that's simply not a priority. For depression, or if you are a human being, I cannot stress enough the importance of connecting with other humans on a level that transcends ego. Any interaction based on ego will only lead to sadness, because that's your way of saying that you are separate from others, which is a complete misperception. Of course, that's just my point of view.

In the future, if somebody is sick, they will not be sent to a bed to be all by themselves and wait it out. An enlightened culture would never allow that to happen. In the future, at the first sign somebody is not feeling well, in ANY capacity, stomach ache, fever, headache, depression, anxiety, WHATEVER, that person will INSTANTLY be surrounded by at least ten people who are there to perform a laying on of hands, and support them in any manner they need. This will be the greatest joy of an enlightened culture. To be there for another person in their time of need. What is more important than us taking care of one another? Do you know? Tell me.

We can mis-create all we want, but in the end, we will be no closer to joy. Joy will only come when the mis-creation stops. The mis-creation will only stop is we acknowledge our unity. Once we acknowledge our unity, co-creation will begin. You may suggest that co-creation already exists. I would explain that co-creation does exist, however, in these times, it primarily exists for mis-creative purposes. Mis-creation, to me, simply means any thought or action that propagates the separation. Acknowledge your unity and it will be impossible for you to mis-create. Why would you want to harm yourself? You wouldn't. And, you don't have to, anymore.

I am speaking from experience. Sadness and depression is NOT natural. Sadness and depression is a WAKE UP CALL from the Universe that you need to be sharing the energy of love with other humans and the Earth itself. You need to be taking care of yourself, without apology. Of course you're depressed! I mean, look at the decisions you've been making for crying out loud! You've decided that you are separate from the rest of humanity and the only way you will be joyful or at peace is if you increase that separation. All the while, you are pulling in the wrong direction, but are so far from home that you have no idea which direction is home, anymore! Do you see? It's all about where you look for salvation.

____________

We were born to sing and dance.

____________

EVERYONE IS LOOKING FOR SALVATION. WHERE DO YOU LOOK FOR SALVATION?

No matter what you are doing, you are looking for salvation. Everybody is looking for salvation. The problem is, most people are looking for objects or status for salvation. However, objects rust and fade away. Status is meaningless in eternity.

What is everybody looking for? You can sit down in a mall and watch people shop. They will pass by something and you can read their minds. They think, "Do I need this thing? Maybe this thing will make me happy. Yeah, this thing is just the thing I've been looking for! Of course, I didn't know this thing existed until I saw it in the store, however, now that I know this thing exists, I know that it will bring me joy." Objects are fantastic, and objects _can_ bring us joy. However, the greatest joy, the joy that our hearts seek the most does not lie in objects. The reason we can't find true joy is because we are looking in the wrong places and asking the wrong questions. Let me tell you, _your salvation lies in connecting with other people, and nature, in an authentic and loving way_. You will never feel the greatest joy you are looking for unless you stop looking for it at all. It's the paradox. The greatest joy comes in fully loving yourself and everyone you meet as if they were yourself. The only way to do this is to focus on their innocence and divinity, and be invisible. Only by being invisible will you see them for who they truly are, and not for what you can get out of them. For me, personally, I have been working on active listening. I recently realized that I don't listen to people at all. I'm too busy worried about something else. Active listening is a wonderful tool, and actually feels like a form of meditation when doing it. You listen attentively, wondering what the next word will be to come out of a person's mouth, and then, when it does, you think, "Hmm, I am starting to understand this person a little better. The words they use, what they think about, what they love, what their fears are. And, I'm actually remembering what they tell me!" I am falling in love with active listening.

This question of where we look for salvation may be the most important question you ever ask yourself. It has the potential of restructuring your entire approach to what's important in your life. If you look for salvation in objects, although you may find temporary joy, you will be forever left feeling an emptiness that can only come through sharing love with other people, and in everything you do. Feel the love. Share the love. Acknowledge your unity with all that is.

We are all looking for salvation, it's simply a question of _where_ we're looking for it. By the frowns on many people's faces, today, it is obvious to me that we are looking for salvation in the wrong places. For, if we were looking for salvation in places that provided salvation, then we would be wearing huge smiles on our faces. It really is that simple. We are angry and frightened and saddened because we believe that we'll never be connected again. That our only hope for salvation in this world is to find that one right person, or to find that one right object, and then we will be saved from being separate forever.

Let me relieve you of a few misconceptions. First, let me tell you the story about how I spent 10% of my life looking for the perfect song. Here's how it goes. I spent 10% of my life looking for the perfect song, thinking that, if only I wrote the perfect song, or heard the perfect song, I would be saved. Hmmm. So, I came up with some passionate songs. They spoke to my heart and I truly loved them (and hated them at the same time.) However, at the end of the day, all I had in my hands was another song. A song that, when I turned around and looked the other way, didn't even exist.

Do you see where I'm going with this? No matter what we create. No matter how beautiful, how incredible, how heart-stopping, how glorious, nothing we will ever create will be more important than our connecting with other people in an authentic, non-manipulative, non-self-agendaic way. If we have the most beautiful church the world has ever seen, and yet we fill it with people who grumble on their way in, sit a few feet apart from one another, say a few lines, don't touch one another, don't heal one another, don't love one another, and then get up and shuffle out, then our creations mean nothing. However, if we create the most glorious church in the world, and it is so glorious that it inspires us to recognize the unity of all life and live according to those principles, where people come in holding hands and hugging one another, there is uproarious laughter and singing, everyone cooks together, and then there are laying on of hands healing sessions after the gathering, and everyone goes home with enormous love in their hearts and peace from having connected with the community in an AUTHENTIC way, then we are successful as a culture. Until I see that happen, you can keep all the beautiful objects you ever create and throw them in the ocean.

Does it occur to you exactly how preposterous the situation on Earth has become? How preposterous is it that we have to TEACH love, verbally? We have to say, "Look. There was this man named Jesus, and he was SO AMAZING because He LOVED... UNCONDITIONALLY! Isn't that amazing? You could never do that. Worship Jesus." HELLOOOOO. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO. Wake up, people! The very fact that we have to hold special meetings to discuss what it means to love just blows my mind. However, that is the level this world has evolved to, so I supposed that is where it is meant to be. The day must eventually come when love is simply all that is, and there will be no need to meet and discuss it because we have forgotten how.

My songs mean nothing unless they inspire people to recognize their unity with all that is. Otherwise, they are just one more mis-created waste of space and everybody's time. All of your beautiful buildings, all of your beautiful clothes, all of your beautiful cars, all of your beautiful faces, they all mean nothing, until you recognize the unity of all life. Because, what could be more beautiful and more glorious than a culture of people who live authentic lives? People who care for themselves and for one another. People who smile because they know that they have nothing to fear. People who smile, because, on a regular basis, they are sharing their love with the world and other people. They move slowly and watch things grow. I am not talking about a passive, "Oh, yeah, I love the world, can I go home now and watch T.V.?" No. I'm talking about, "I have so much love in my heart that from now on, other people are my first priority. Instead of going home and watching T.V., I am going to spend time with somebody, with no other purpose than to be in their presence. I will feel so much joy, that I won't know how to contain myself."

So, where do you find salvation? Isle 3B? Isle 10A? Isle 4C? Objects are great and useful, don't get me wrong. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love my CD's and speaker system. The point I want to emphasize is that no matter how many objects you obtain, no matter how beautiful the CD you are listening to, no matter how vivid the color on your television is, unless you find a way to connect with other human beings on an authentic, non-manipulative, non-self-agendaic level, you will NOT find what you are looking for. What you are looking for lies in connecting with nature, and other people. It's about finding the love in what you do. Everything you do. Everything. There's your joy. There's your salvation. Not in the latest Nintendo game, which may be a lot of fun, but will leave you feeling empty.

Salvation can also be found in releasing your need to control every outcome of your life. Salvation can be found by using these tools: Deeksha, Reiki, yoga, tai chi, crystals.

Until we decide that the most important actions we can perform on this planet are actions of reconciliation, we are going to experience enormous sadness.

It is difficult to recognize the unity of all life and not strongly desire to connect with it in a spiritual and physical way. However, the agreements we have made with one another is to perpetuate our suffering and propagate the separation. Therefore, at this strange stage in the game, it is wisest for us to simply be loving, even in the face of all the hatred. We are all connected, and to pretend like we are not is a painful proposition, indeed.

We are all looking for salvation... it's simply a matter of where we look for it. Some people look for salvation in books. Other people look for salvation in sports. Millions of people look for salvation in bars. Billions of people look for salvation in other people's opinions of them. It's all a matter of where you look for salvation. When you come to a dead end, you must take another path. It's as simple as that. Don't harm yourself. You know what didn't work for you yesterday, so don't do it again, today. New actions equal new results. Salvation is always to be found in the Eternal Present Moment, or the Holy Instant. You will find no salvation in yesterday. You will find no salvation in tomorrow. You will find no salvation in anything that comes or goes. However, you may find salvation in the present moment by realizing that you always have this one moment, and in this one moment, grace is your natural state. There is nothing you have to do to be worthy of grace. Grace is your natural state. It's simply a matter of allowing the grace to wash over you, and not blocking it with past and future concerns. Take care of the present and the future will take care of itself. So, how do you best take care of the present? How do you know what is best? You don't. You simply have to go on instinct. Your internal guidance system. Keep making decisions that appear to enhance your life experience by providing you with more joy, laughter and playfulness. Make love based decisions, not fear based decisions. Say, "I am going there because I feel so much love there. I am meeting with that group because I feel so much love there. I am watching this movie because this movie makes me feel joyful. I am pursuing this hobby because I am naturally attracted to it. I am pursuing this vocation because it amplifies my greatest gifts. I am walking in this direction because it feels right. I am walking in this direction because it makes sense to my heart."

The problem occurs when we begin looking for salvation in activities that no longer bring us joy. And, yet, we continue to pursue them because it is our habit. We are used to it, so we keep on going. What would happen if you could completely shift your focus and only focus on those parts of life that excite you and fill you with wonder and joy? Is there a rule written somewhere that says after you've reached a certain age, you are no longer allowed to focus on activities that bring you joy? Is there a rule that says you are supposed to take life seriously and focus on the negative? Sounds like a silly rule to me. And, yet, I am guilty of following it, myself. I thought that if I was miserable enough, somehow I would be redeemed. If I allowed myself to be abused by the world, enough, somehow my martyrdom would save it. It makes no sense, however, I live in a world where the major decisions (and every decision is a major decision,) most people make do not make very much sense at all. For instance, why would we do something to harm ourselves one day, and then do it again the next day? I can't understand it. The problem is, this society has very few good role models. We have hardly anybody to look up to. I mean, really, somebody to look up to. It's all about how you pick your role models. My role models have always been the creative people, because they were so full of life. However, even creative people don't make very good role models when they are miserable. The only role model worth having is one who is at peace and filled with joy and love. Who else would you want to follow? "Oh, I want to be like that miserable chap. He has a beautiful car. Who cares if he's forgotten how to smile." Perhaps, it's time you rethought your role models.

____________

Joy is... knowing what's truly important and letting the rest be.

____________

How do I live the good life?...

QUALITY OF LIFE COMES DOWN TO LIFESTYLE

Life always comes down to lifestyle. Lifestyle always comes down to choice. Choice always comes down to priorities. Priorities always comes down to value. Value always comes down to what serves you best. Value can be misplaced. Sometimes, we as humans value the valueless because we mistaken the valueless for the valuable. How do you know what's valuable and what's not? Aaahh. That's the question, isn't it? What is truly valuable, and what is fools gold? What is truly valuable makes you feel great. What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel as though you are on the 'right track?' You know when you feel like you're on the wrong track. You are not paying enough attention to what you truly value and need. What is truly valuable is not what most people are interested in. Most people have misplaced values which lead to more suffering. For instance, the decision of the quality of your love. You can't decide to love some people and hate others. If you hate one person, you hate all. True love has no room for hate. Our salvation lies in loving one another. Not ONE person, but everyone and everything. To love only one person is like saying you love a raindrop, but you don't like the ocean. It's incongruent. It doesn't add up.

MAKE A PACT WITH YOURSELF

I hereby vow to no longer think any thoughts, speak any words or do any deeds that harm my body, mind or spirit in any way. I hereby vow to think thoughts, speak words and partake in activities that heal my body, mind and spirit. I know the difference. I can feel it. When a negative thought comes into my mind, I say, "Cancel, cancel, cancle."

____________

There's no truth like truth.

____________

BE DEFENSELESS & NON-JUDGMENTAL

You are at peace, focusing on your guiltlessness. The best thing you can do is never judge yourself or another person, ever again. This takes practice. The less judgmental you become, the more peace and joy you will have. When you approach another human, think to yourself, "Be defenseless. Be non-judgmental." If you are defenseless, you are loving. If you are non-judgmental, you are loving. It's impossible to be defenseless and non-loving. To improve all of your relationships, be defenseless. Be non-judgmental.

DON'T MISTAKEN THE TOOL FOR THE PRODUCT

Yoga, tai chi, deeksha, reiki, crystal work; these activities are not THE answer, and none of them should be worshipped as a God. These are all activities and living objects that deepen our ability to see and feel the truth of our existence so that we may share our love with other people. The idea isn't to become MORE spiritual than another person. The idea is to become SO spiritual that you recognize yourself in everyone you meet. These tools all lead to awakening. Once you are awake, more joy will automatically enter into your life.

I am allowed to enjoy living, because I am alive...

STOP APOLOGIZING FOR BEING ALIVE

So many of us apologize for being alive. We feel like we've done something wrong, otherwise, why would we be here? Then, we spend the rest of our lives apologizing for living. Apologizing for feeling. Apologizing for loving. Apologizing for being amazing. We feel like the majority of humanity doesn't want us to be amazing, so we hide our miraculous nature beneath a cloak of darkness. It's time for us all to unite and say together, "I am not the man you see. I am not the woman you see. I am a spirit. My spirit transcends this body and this mind. My spirit transcends this Earth. My spirit transcends time and space. I know that you cannot harm me, because my spirit is eternal. I do not have to apologize for my spirit, because my spirit existed long before guilt was created." Apologizing is a form of guilty feelings from past actions or thoughts, and yet, the past doesn't exist. It's simply an illusion of mind. So, we spend most of our present apologizing for a past that doesn't exist. We feel like we need to be punished for being alive. We feel guilty and so we frown. We have forgotten our spotless nature. Our spotless nature says, "I am my present, and my present is always pure." Yes, we must quit apologizing for being alive. We must quit apologizing for not living up to worldly standards. We must quit apologizing for feeling the way we do. We must quit apologizing for being sensitive to energy. We must quit apologizing for being so full of love. We must quit apologizing for wanting to experience joy, laughter and playfulness. Yes, we must quit apologizing for smiling while those around us are miserable. We must quit apologizing.

____________

Watch your life like a play, and seek not to control the outcome,

but only choose to be loving in this Holy Instant.

____________

LISTEN MORE, SPEAK LESS

I had lunch with an amazing person the other day. I spent too much time talking about myself. In the future, I will listen more. I learn nothing by hearing myself speak.

JOY & PLAYFULNESS

Although it would appear there was, there is no rule out there saying that after a certain age you are no longer allowed to experience joy or be playful. Somewhere along the line, people forget that joy and playfulness is necessary to enjoy living. Joy and playfulness is the way to joy and playfulness. Never allow age to be an excuse for not enjoying your life.

____________

All thoughts, words and deeds that say, "Me, not you,"

begin with death

and end with death.

It's all about WE.

Power with, not power over.

____________

SENSELESS JOY IS THE ONLY GOAL

Joy is the only goal worth pursuing. I don't mean endless giddiness. I'm talking about a minor buzz that permeates your entire existence. A river of joy that bubbles below the surface and carries you through everything this world has to throw at you. Find a role model with that, and listen. I have finally reached a point in my life where I know the difference. I know who to listen to and who to not. You can see it in their eyes. You can feel it in their presence. You know it. Then, there are those people who you don't want to listen to because you KNOW that they don't have the answer. They have their own answer, but not an answer that is bringing them joy, so not an answer that I want to have for myself. So, what's your answer? Do you already have a definitive answer to life that is not bringing you joy, however, you will not change it because it's an old guest? You know the answer. The question is, are you willing to do something about it? Are you willing to say, "You know what, you've been here long enough and you simply aren't serving me, and I am not going to stand for this any longer. You've brought me nothing but heartache and sadness, and that's not the direction my life is going any longer. There is no room for you here, anymore. I'm making some new decisions, and they revolve around my joy. From now on, any thought that comes between me and my joy is not a friend of mine. I deserve peace. I deserve joy. I deserve peace and joy because that's what I want in my life and I don't have to explain it to anyone. I don't have to apologize for being who I am. I don't have to apologize for wanting what I want. I want joy and I am not sorry."

ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE JOYFUL

Finding a way to be joyful is your only job. Out of the billions of people on this planet at the moment, how many of them do you think are thinking about you right now? Maybe 1. Or, perhaps, 2, or none. After you leave this world, how many people do you think are going to sit around talking about you? Probably zero. And, let's say that people did sit around talking about you after you died. So what? What do you care? My point is, life is not about doing something amazing so that you will be remembered, because, quite frankly, everybody is too worried about their own life to care whether or not you were the greatest trombone player to ever walk the Earth. Your name is Clint Eastwood? Congratulations, my name is Brian Snyder. What? Your name is Abraham Lincoln? Congratulations, my name is Brian Snyder. So, you can spend your life trying to do something extraordinary so that you will be remembered, or, you can spend your life being extraordinary by not caring whether or not you'll be remembered.

Fame means nothing in the face of eternity. Eternity remembers us all, equally, and without judgment. I have no idea how many people lived before me and I have no idea how many people will live after me. All I know is that while I'm alive, I am going to do the best I can to enlighten myself and humanity as a whole, because all other pursuits are empty. I don't want to be remembered because that's simply a cerebral act. I want my life to be _felt_ by other people, not thought about by them. I want my life to change the way people feel, and the way that they think will naturally follow. Thinking does nothing but get us into trouble. Feeling allows us to recognize truth. If my life helps people to recognize truth, then my life will not have been in vain. Any other pursuits are meaningless. Please, let my life assist in the end of the separation from truth (which is simply a state of mind.) Please make me a clear channel for truth and light to pour into the world through my body.

WE MUST WIDEN OUR AWARENESS & OUR JOY

I see people all day, everyday, looking at the ground and I can hear their mental chatter in my mind. "What if he doesn't love me anymore?," "Maybe if I buy her a new ring she'll love me more," "I hate how she always talks to me like that," "What if they think I'm stupid..." et-cetera, et-cetera. All you have to do is look at a person's face. And, then, there are the people complaining to each other on the trail. Here they are, in these beautiful woods with great Qi all around (which they aren't even aware of,) and what I hear is, "You know, I hate when...." blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Conversation after conversation is one form of complaint or another. It's time for all this nonsense to end. The time for complaining is through. As we enter Satya Yuga, or the Golden Age, people will no longer desire to hold such petty conversations. It simply won't be desirable any longer. We will recognize ourselves as being beyond such triviality which focuses on the negative aspects of existence, and instead we will focus on our positive qualities and the wonderful aspects of existence. It's a choice. Did you know that? I can understand depression, though. Good times are good, and bad times are good. It's all good. I'm not fighting with the unfolding of my reality. In the future, complaints will be directed to a person directly and not mulled over to tedium over several weeks or months. Issues will be solved much, much quicker, because nobody will any longer desire to waste their energy holding onto negativity.

____________

I enjoy my life because I'm allowed to.

____________

Understanding that you don't understand is only the beginning...

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD

I now realize that nothing that has ever happened to me in my entire existence have I fully understood, or understood _at all_. I can't explain anything. I don't know where anything comes from. I don't know where I AM. What is this place??? What am I doing here? Since I don't know this place, and I don't know what I'm doing here, it's my job to remain open to possibility and non-judgmental. Everything is possible. I can't explain this at all.

Singularity of purpose leads to peace...

A PERSON CANNOT SERVE TWO MASTERS

Until I have singularity of mind, I cannot possibly know peace. If you believe in death, then you will fear life. Follow your heart & your mind. There must be congruency for you to know peace. You cannot choose love in some instances, and fear in others. You must choose love in all instances to know peace. Be invisible. Be timeless. Listen. Listen. Listen. Look at how many of your actions are motivated by fear.

Seeing only with your eyes is a handicap...

SEE WITH YOUR HEART

See with your heart. Can you see with your heart? You can learn to. Don't look with your eyes. You will never find what you are looking for that way. Look with your heart. See with your heart.

We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are...

THE WORLD IS A MIRROR OF THE INSIDE OF YOU

The world is inside of you. Have you ever heard the saying, "We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are?" That is true. As we change, so does the world, or at least the way we see the world. If you are looking for a tattoo studio, you will see tattoo studios. If you are looking for laundromats, you will see laundromats. If you are looking for yoga studios, you will see yoga studios. Everything in our outside world is a reflection of what we are looking for inside. To become conscious of your role in co-creating your reality, you begin to track your desires and their potential outcomes. You may not be able to foresee all events, however, you can no longer blame another person for your reality. Everyone and everything you see is simply a reflection of your thoughts. Seek to control nothing and no-one but yourself. Since the world is inside of you, there is nothing left to fear. No-one can hurt you. You are timeless.

____________

Does what you think, say, and do bring you peace?

If not, think, say, and do something else.

____________

We are all being called to the light...

YOU ARE BEING CALLED TO THE LIGHT

The world as we have created it to be is essentially a declaration to the Universe that we are not Divine. However, the Universe knows better. The Universe knows that we are all intricately connected. This silly time we have created for ourselves upon this planet is a time of currently shrouded in darkness, however, darkness is simply an illusion. We wanted to see what it would be like to live in a nightmare, and so we created one. Well, now we are waking up and realizing that we no longer want the nightmare. We want to return to the light. We want to return to our true nature. Trust your instincts. Keep following this path. You are being called to be a lightworker. Do not fight this process. Work with it. The entire universe is blossoming and opening up to you.

____________

Balance your masculine & feminine sides.

____________

Abuse, whether it be physical, emotional or psychological, is never justified...

YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ABUSED

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to allow them to abuse you, nor do you have the right to abuse them. Love is not ownership. Ownership is not love. If you truly love somebody, then you want what's best for them, no matter what that is. There is nothing altruistic about allowing yourself to be abused. If you want to save someone, save yourself. You are doing no-one a favor by being an enabler.

Forget the world, heal yourself...

SPEND TIME HEALING YOURSELF

Spend time alone at night and listen to your healing music. Feel the love inside of you. Get reiki, deeksha, craniosacral, Barbara Brennan. Do yoga, tai chi, etc. Do crystal meditations. Do whatever you have to do. However, once you begin waking up to the truth, there is no stopping the process. What is more important than healing yourself? If you are not spending your time healing yourself, then you are simply spending your time in misery. If you are already healed, then you are free to create even more. The healing process is beautiful. Watch with a smile as it unfolds before your eyes.

Unhappy at work? Maybe, you're a healer...

RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU ARE A HEALER

Everything is so clear to me now. Why I've been depressed all these years. I've been guided to this one moment. I am a healer. Not to serve my ego, but the exact opposite. To serve the greater good of humanity. I help people because I realize that the world is inside of me. When I help someone else to heal, I am in reality helping myself. It is a very selfish act, being a healer. It is a very selfish act, healing yourself. Every act in life is a selfish act! That's the truth. The only way for me to take care of others is to take care of myself. The only way for me to take care of myself is to take care of others. Do you see? It's living in the paradox.

For whatever reason, Divinity is calling me to be an energy healer. It will be the full use of my potential as a person. I will feel so much joy, because I will be serving as a clear channel of light. This is my calling. This is all of our calling.

I am mostly interested ini helping people with depression, anxiety and hopelessness. The physical body is important, but spiritual healing is most important in my view. It's all connected.

DON'T SIMPLY MOVE. MOVE WITH MEANING.

Purposeful movement. Movement with meaning.

Let everyone around you create their life as they will. Make no attempts to change anyone except for yourself. Move with meaning. Don't be easily led down roads that are not of your choosing. Know going into a situation that you come bringing the Holy Spirit, and therefore, only good can come from the interaction.

Shadows & Dust

All is shadow

All is dust

All is light

This can't be right

If all is one

And, I see two

Has my vision gone askew?

MY VISION

I want to create a center for transcendental healing & personal empowerment.

Services:

  * Acupuncture/Herbology

  * Yoga

  * Tai Chi

  * Barbara Brennan

  * Craniosacral

  * Deeksha

Curriculum:

  * Teach you to follow your inner guidance

  * Teach guiltlessness

  * Recommend "A Course in Miracles"

  * Recommend "Reclaiming Your Soul"

  * Teach about Reiki, Deeksha, and all methods of energy healing

  * Give permission to love yourself

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK?

This book is intended to point you in a positive direction. I spent years looking for truth and I have finally FOUND it. It's amazing. I thought I would be searching for the rest of my life, and yet, I have found it at age 29. Now, I can spend my time creating instead of looking for healing. From the moment I began taking Tai Chi and Yoga until now, I knew I was headed in a positive direction. I could feel it in my hands. I could feel the Qi. I knew when I found Reiki that I had found something authentic. A way to connect with Divinity and other people in an authentically loving way. Little did I know that around a year later I would discover Deeksha, another energy that would further my healing. Every modality is simply a tool for awakening to truth. I remember doing Tai Chi and thinking, "This is the answer!" I remember doing Yoga and thinking, "This is the answer!" I remember doing Reiki and thinking "This is the answer!" And, yet, I would always come down from feeling amazing and still be depressed. I would still feel hopelessness, unless I was doing Tai Chi or Yoga or Reiki. However, these are all TOOLS, and none of them the answer in and of themselves.

Whether it is Divine energy or simply the energy that is created when a group of people come together in the name of love and healing, it works, either way. I am still not convinced that we need the bells and whistles. Do we need to open up the chakras and do special chants in order to invoke the energy? I am not convinced. Of course, there is much I don't know about energy or spirituality. A part of me feels as though if a group of people came together and relaxed, they may be able to conjure the same energy and perform the same healing without even calling it spiritual! Ultimately, everything is spiritual. Every thought, every word, every movement, everything. They could call it... a natural healing gathering. Perhaps, then, mainstream society would find it more acceptable. However, whether it is necessary to do the chants or open the chakras or perform special ceremonies or not, I am not here to complain with the method, so long as it works. This is how humanity is supposed to relate to one another. Healing each other with the energy of love and truth. No wonder so many people feel depressed. They don't have a group of people to share their love with. We are taught that we are supposed to find ONE person to love, and that's it. What a joke. What about the other 6 billion people on Earth? Of course we feel deprived when we go looking for all of our loving needs to be met by one person. Marriage is an outdated institution. In the future, partnerships will be based on the highest good of both parties involved, and not the idea of keeping the other person from changing, growing, or doing what's best for themself.

None of us is an island. As much as you think you are separate, you are not. In fact, YOU ARE ME. I know you don't think you are me. You can probably come up with many reasons why you are not me, but, none the less, I know you are me, so I don't really care what you have to say about it. Doing spiritual work is like going home after being alone on a dingy in the ocean for years. You are fed, clothed, loved, supported, completely accepted. Whereas, before, you saw no purpose to your life as you bobbed along on the currents of uncertainty, suddenly, it doesn't matter, anymore. Life doesn't HAVE to have a meaning, because you are home. And, at home, you don't need a meaning. Your family accepts you no matter what. Because, to deny you acceptance would be to deny themselves acceptance.

Once you feel the energy in your hands and in your body, you can't deny your unity with all that is.

I have been apologizing for my existence for my whole life. I have always felt so deeply, and I have never been taught that that was a useful trait to possess. If anything, I was taught that that was a sign of WEAKNESS. In reality, what I have been taught is my weakness is actually my greatest strength. My ability to _feel_ is my ability to know truth. I have spent my whole life trying to numb myself down to relate to other people. I'm not playing that game anymore. I defy categorization. People have been attempting to categorize me for my whole life, and yet, I am uncategorizable. There is no 'right' way to be or 'right' way to think. There is no wrong way to be or 'wrong' way to think. There is only action and consequences. I'm no longer dumbing myself down for other people to feel comfortable around me. I refuse to spend my time arguing and complaining about petty issues, like the majority of society.

If there is one step you can take to increase the peace in your life, I recommend this... stop apologizing for being alive. Stop apologizing for feeling the way you do. Stop apologizing for wanting what you want. Stop apologizing for wanting to spend your time in a different way than other people. Stop apologizing for being who you are. Stop apologizing for seeking joy. Stop apologizing for focusing on what you want as opposed to focusing on what you don't want. Stop apologizing for being a lightworker in a world that hasn't yet embraced lightworkers. Stop apologizing for being amazing. Stop apologizing for wanting peace in your heart. Stop apologizing for demanding a better life. Stop apologizing for respecting yourself. Stop apologizing for not living up to the expectation of others. Stop apologizing for loving music, and yoga, and tai chi, and reiki, and deeksha, and surfing and connecting with other human beings on an authentic level. Stop apologizing for loving loving. Stop apologizing for being amazed with this potential of this world and humanity. Stop apologizing for going dancing. Stop apologizing for living your truth. Stop apologizing for being a sexual being. Stop apologizing for being human. Stop apologizing for needing to be touched by other humans. Stop apologizing for enjoying yourself.

____________

You can live your life in fear of dying,

or you can live your life in fear of living;

Or, you can live your life,

lovingly,

embracing your experience.

____________

ARE YOU READY TO LET GO OF ALL YOUR DRAMA?

Are you ready to let go of all your drama? Ha. There's a question for you. Are you READY to let go of ALL of your drama? Because, after all, it's only drama. Perhaps you are wondering, "What will I do if I have not drama left?" You will spend your time loving. Love is on the other side of drama. If you are not busy with all of your drama, you are free to experience things simply as they are, without any emotional attachment to the outcome, either way. Experience things as they are, without judgment, and you are in the flow of life.

This may come as horrible news if you are a drama student. I, too, come from a theatrical background. I used to love the highs and lows associated with a good story. But, what if we could have the highs without the lows? "That's not possible," you say. Isn't it? How can you be so sure? How can you be so sure of anything. Have you been to this planet before? Do you have any idea where you even are? So, don't be so sure about your own future or where you are. You have potential that is only beginning to be awakened. Potential for peace. Potential for joy. Potential for authentic love. You are being born again, and not in a way that calls for you to say, "Look at me, I'm born again." But, rather, a way that says nothing, and everyone will simply KNOW that you have been reborn. As you achieve this state, your entire reality will shift toward the Light, and all the drama you have created, you will no longer desire.

In all my spiritual journeying, essentially, what I've been craving is a feeling. A feeling of peace in a world founded on attack. A feeling that I would get that would soon leave me, so I would always return for more. That's how I ended up with so many crystals. They shift your reality.

The future of humanity doesn't lie in the nuclear family, that shares its love only with a small handful of individuals. It lies in the power of the larger group. it lies in the power of the whole taking care of the whole. Sounds like a dream. Does it? It's already happening. It's happening within my spiritual family. We don't worship random Gods and proclaim ourselves unworthy of love. We meet in the name of perfect innocence and we offer one another freedom from unworthiness. The time for finding a mate and reserving your love for only one person has come to an end. This world doesn't need more people, it needs more loving interactions. It needs people seeing other people as brothers and sisters and not as objects to get around so they can get where they are going. That is our future. No other future appeals to me. The age of "me, me, me" is over. Melt into unity and taste your inheritance. Enter the time of "we, we, we." It sure is sweet.

____________

As long as you consider yourself guilty,

you will consider everyone else guilty as well.

____________

YOU ARE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

You may wonder, "Am I worthy of such unconditional love? I don't deserve this love." That's where you would be ill informed.

If you perceive yourself as guilty, how can you possibly expect to know peace? They're incongruent. Until you learn how to perceive yourself as completely innocent, you will not know peace. You are completely innocent, by the way. Do you know how I know? Because, you are not your past and you are not your future, therefore, in this Holy Instant, you are innocent. How could you be anything other than innocent? Look at you. You're just standing there. The past doesn't exist. The future doesn't exist. All that is is now. Don't condemn yourself in the now because now is all you've got.

____________

All decisions that begin in Ego and end in Ego begin in death and end in death.

____________

THE WAR ON SEX & PLEASURE

Whenever I think about sex, I have this instantaneous gut reaction that tenses up, and in the back of my mind, I think, "Bad. Very, very bad." Huh? What the? Where did this come from? Sex is one of the greatest gifts from the Universe. To be able to share love, gentle touch, and to celebrate life... how in the world did this become a "bad," thing? Do you think that any other creature in world apologizes for wanting to have sex? I don't think so. For whatever reason, we have been raised to believe that sex is somehow "bad" or "wrong." Somewhere along the line, somebody must have said, "Let's take the one thing that makes people feel the best, and tell them it is the worst thing they could possibly do." And, someone responded, "Yeah! That would be a great idea. And, then, when they think that "God" will want to destroy them for having done the "bad" thing, they will become miserable and be easier to control. They will no longer feel good and free, but instead will feel guilty and sad. It's perfect! Guilty, sad people are easier to control than happy, free people." "Yeah," responded the first person, "that's exactly what we'll do. We'll take away their greatest joy in the name of "God." Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha."

And, so it was.

And, so, instead of people joining in intimate bliss, people became fearful of one another, and decided, "Hey, if I can't join with you, then I don't want you around, so I'll kill you instead. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'll destroy what I can't have, because I am so upset, and I want it so badly."

And, there begins the age of fear. Instead of looking upon one another with loving eyes and tenderness, we begin looking upon one another with apprehensive eyes, and distrust. This makes perfect sense. Why else would people want to hurt one another except for because they can't have them? People forgot that we are all one, and began seeing themselves as individuals, separate from the whole. People began seeing everyone as a threat, and themselves as an island of truth. Unity became separation and separation became war. It only stands to reason that war will once again become peaceful separation, and peaceful separation will once again become unity. Expand, contract, expand, contract.

It only stands to reason that fear of sex and pleasure will once again become love of sex and pleasure. Right and wrong are only words. I am more of a believer in cause and effect. There is nothing inherently wrong with sex or pleasure. Does it make any sense that we were meant to live miserable lives and then die without any sex or pleasure? We are not robots, you know. What's the purpose of living if there is no communing? No communing with nature or other people. No, sex and pleasure is not "bad," or "wrong." What's "bad," and "wrong," is people who tell you that feeling good is a sin. The word "sin," in Hebrew means "to forget, or, without." I take that to mean, "To forget your true nature. Or, to be without your true nature." Your true nature wants to unite with others and celebrate existence. The true "sin," or "forgetting of true nature," is to deny yourself sex or pleasure. That is a sin, and an imbalance which leads to mental and social problems. If everyone was having sex and pleased, nobody would be buying guns to shoot one another.

I get naked and walk around my apartment almost every night, just to remind myself that I was born naked. It is my natural state. To be naked is a beautiful thing. It is a celebration and acceptance of your body, exactly the way it is. It is a reminder to let everything holding you down to fall away. It is an announcement to the Universe that you love yourself, exactly the way you were made. I saw a bumper sticker that made me so happy, it said, "Argue Naked." Think about it.

JOY IS OUR NATURAL STATE

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Misery is not our natural state. Joy is Our Natural State. Misery is learned, by growing up in a concrete world (figuratively & literally,) where feelings are never mentioned. We learn to be miserable. Misery is taught. Multitasking is considered a valuable skill in today's society. Multitasking is the quickest way to destroy your health. Meditating on one task is where the beauty in life comes from. Do one thing at a time, and do it fully. That is beautiful. You can get lost in that. This whole idea that faster is better, and more is better, and bigger is better, is a gross misconception. Contrary to popular belief, life is not a race. If you want to enjoy your life, slow down. Slow way down. Make each move deliberate and full of joy. What are trying to do? Get to the finish line? What happens there? You die. Option is a wonderful thing, but you don't need everything. And, you don't need to do everything. We're all in a rush, but where are we going?

ON ENLIGHTENMENT

At the time of this writing, I have finally reached a state of being so that I can say I have experienced a certain amount of enlightenment. It comes and goes, but at least I have experienced it. I am so grateful for this newfound way of being in the world. It's essentially allowing spirit to make decisions for you. You're still there, but you're not forcing your way. What enormous grace has been given to me! Just when I thought I would never find the truth, it landed in my lap. What does enlightenment feel like? It feels like this great joy in my heart and peace in my mind. It feels like I can get rid of all the spiritual books I own. It feels like completely accepting everything for what it is. It doesn't mean that I've solved life, it only means that I'm okay with life, no matter what it is. I am letting go of all drama. I can't believe how much energy I wasted on drama. Now, there's no room left for drama in my life. There is only room for peace. Essentially, I am no longer fighting with life. It's like my body is moving itself, and my mind is quiet. I don't see people as what I can get out of them, but rather, just people, standing in front of me. Without judgment. There's no room left for judgment. It's a state of equanimity. It's essentially existence without fear of change. Once you are on the right path and you know it, all you have to do is keep going in the same direction. I feel in my heart that all I need to do is keep going in the same direction. I want to laugh in the streets and tell everybody the good news, however, most people would not receive it well if I presented it that way. That's why I must be an ambassador for this new energy that is entering into society. People will see my joy and ask me how come I am so joyful. I will tell them and the joy will spread naturally.

ENLIGHTENMENT IS A CHOICE OF ACTIONS

Enlightenment is not something that happens only to special people who aren't you. Enlightenment is something that will happen to you, if you so desire it. I have found the truth and my gratitude extends beyond space and time. Now, I can share the unbelievable, yet completely valid, news with you.

Suddenly, everything that had happened in my life up to that point made perfect sense. My search for truth. How I knew that we weren't living up to our potential as humanity. Thank God I listened to my natural instincts and not society, which told me that life just sucked and I should grow up and get over it. That's what I was told, time and again. **Thank God I didn't listen to those who can't hear**. Thank God I saw beyond those who can't see. Thank God I trusted the vibration in my hands of Divine energy that was coming to me from beyond. Thank God I am sensitive to the truth. For my entire life, I was taught that thinking was more important than feeling. I always felt that feeling was more important than thinking. Thinking your way through a relationship with another person is a recipe for disaster. Since I was little, I have always known the truth, that feeling led to truth. However, I was alone in this reality, and had no mentor to look up to, and so I was forced to live in a cerebrally dominated society, which cares little for feelers. Well, look where that has led us? Straight into great depression and separation from truth. Now are you ready to listen to me? Now, are you ready to say, "Okay, Brian, maybe you were right all along. Maybe, what's most important in this world is that we love one another in an authentic way. Maybe, by focusing our energy on the outside world we have missed the most important reason for existence, to experience deep connections with one another and eternity. Maybe, I am ready to listen to you, now."

____________

If we continue seeing ourselves as only physical bodies,

we will suffer immeasurable pain.

____________

ALL IT TAKES IS ONE STEP AFTER ANOTHER

We have the means. We have the resources. We have the Divine energy. Now, all we need is the ability take ONE step. A step beyond our normal routine into a new routine. A step into a Deeksha circle which will change your entire perception of reality. A step into a Tai Chi lesson will energize you. All it takes is one step, and the entire planetary consciousness is shifted. It's what we all want, and it's within our grasp. Why deny yourself enlightenment? Just because suffering is familiar doesn't make it a welcome guest. Please, join us in this new age. I have nothing to sell but joy. It's time for a planetary awakening, and you will make it happen. Would you trade salvation for hell? It's your choice. Let's make the shift. Let's create intentional, conscious communities.

IT'S TIME TO DECIDE

You have to ask yourself these questions, "Do I want to live a life of petty complaining and littleness? Or, do I want to embody my higher self and recognize how I am choosing every second the reality that I am experiencing?" If you decide that you want to continue to complain with your friends about your life as you speed walk down the trail at Town Lake, then that is what you will experience. Does that sound like the best way to spend your time on this planet? What if you spend that same time creating what you DO want in your life, instead of complaining about what you have? Only you can change your current reality. Current reality CAN change, because change is the only real reality. If it changes for the better, that's your choice. Don't play small games with people. Don't play small games with yourself. Demand joy in your life. Create joy in your life. The next time somebody says to you, "That's life." I want you to ask yourself, "Is it?" Life is change. Complaints are attachments to the past. If you are living in the moment, there is nothing left to complain about, because you are fully occupied with the creating the life you want in the present. The more you come into your own power, the less sway other people's opinions about your decisions have over you. You aren't on this planet to make other people happy and make yourself miserable. You are on this planet to make yourself joyful. If you aren't joyful, you can't make anyone else joyful. The world you see is the world you are projecting. We don't see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. **Anytime you want somebody else to change is a sign that you want yourself to change**. Because, when you are enlightened, nobodies opinion can shake your sense of inner peace and joy. You simply hold the space and remain witness to their "self," as you hold your "Self." Then, you have the decision to set them free from their own mis-creation, or you can condemn them as being guilty and withhold peace from yourself. This happened to me earlier today. I was insulted, and I had enough joy in me to instantly forgive. My blessing is a gift. Transmuting negative energy is the joy of an enlightened being. Recognizing ugliness for what it is from a distance, and knowing that it cannot harm you, gives you the space you need to bestow your blessing.

There is no future. There is no past. There is nothing to apologize for. In this Holy Instant, all is forgiven and all beings are free.

WHAT BETTER DECISIONS COULD YOU MAKE, TODAY? EVERY SECOND IS A CHOICE.

What do you want your life to look like? What different decisions could you make? You could go to Yoga. You could do Tai Chi. You could go to Deeksha and awaken to oneness. You could begin working with crystals. You could dance to music. You could begin to enjoy living again. The option is at your fingertips. All you have to do is recognize that you have choices. Every second is a choice. Free yourself from the weight you agreed to carry. Read "A Course in Miracles." Begin the process. There's no way out but through. Wake up to a new reality. Let the old self die. The old self is not you, and the new Self holds no judgments against you. You are free in this one instant. A new decision, a new experience. A new decision, a new reality. Nothing is locked down.

When you get the message, hang up the phone. You've got the message. I'll see you on the other side.

Love Always,

Brian

____________

How can I have the greatest positive impact on this world?

____________

People who do not realize the unity of all life see you as a threat, and will condemn you... When you are healed, you can be attacked, but no one can harm you...

WHY PEOPLE ARE RUDE

People are rude for one reason and one reason only. People are rude because they know that we are not living up to our potential. On some deep, deep level, everybody knows that we have the potential to be 'one.' It's a little difficult for me to describe, but let me break it down for you. It goes like this. Let's say I don't know anything about energy between humans, and I've been working in the same place for 20 years, and my life is mundane and magic-less. Of course I am going to be angry. How couldn't I be? I'm angry because I know that life _could_ be magical, and yet, I don't feel like it is. And then, to top it all off, I am surrounded by other people all day long. People who could easily heal me if they simply stopped and put their hand on my shoulder in a loving, and accepting way, told me how much I was loved by the Universe. But, no. That doesn't happen during the day. During the day, I am not allowed to touch anybody I work with in a loving, non-sexual way. And, if I do, I'll be arrested. OF COURSE I'M GOING TO BE ANGRY. It's pent up frustration from not being allowed to live in truth. The truth of our unity. There's not greater pain than the pain we impose upon ourselves by denying this truth. Deny, deny, deny, it's what we've mastered. We've mastered the denial of our potentially glorious and heavenly reality. Heaven on Earth is a possibility. However, until we learn that unity is more desirable than separation, we will continue to suffer, and be depressed, and yell at one another, be petty and miserable. It's what we've been asking for. It's what we get. Now, go get a pill for that. It's called a truth denial pill. The pill of propagated separation. So, let's keep seeing each other as objects to get around and use, and get on with the creation of hell of Earth. It's what we've been asking for. It's what we're getting.

ALL ATTACK IS A CRY FOR UNION

Because of free will, we are allowed to mis-create all we want to. We must decide that we want to unite, or we never will.

All attack from one person to another in any capacity is really a cry for union. It's pent up frustration from living in a world where we deny our own truth. The truth of our unity. We're angry because we know our potential, and we know that we're not living up to it. We're angry because the rules that we have created are not the rules that support our well-being.

____________

Every step you take is the most important step.

____________

What you are looking for outside of yourself you will find inside...

YOU ARE THE ANSWER YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR. YOU ARE THE LOVER YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

You have been looking for the truth. That's all you want. Peace, joy, wisdom & truth. Where will you find it? What do you have to do? Well, you can relax. You ARE the Truth. You keep waiting for other people to define you, however, you will never be defined. Nobody else can define you. Nobody else's opinion can define you. It's only an opinion. You keep waiting for somebody to tell you the right way to go, but there IS no right way to go. There is only _going itself_. You ARE the truth you've been looking for. So, you can stop looking, now, and continue defining yourself instead of waiting for someone to tell you the truth.

You want to see the truth? Go look at some sacred geometry.

____________

Wake up and realize, you don't have to be a martyr.

____________

Clearing energy blockages is the only way to activate serious change...

ON THE GIFT OF DEEKSHA & REIKI

Deeksha is the name of an energy transfer in which a dasa, or Deeksha giver, lays their hands upon your head for a few minutes, and transfer Divine energy into your energy body. I began going twice a week, and after the first three weeks, I began to notice a major shift within myself. I began feeling less like the "Brian," I knew, and more like God, expressing itself through this body. I felt less like my back-story, and more like my present. I felt less like drama, and more like peace. Simply accepting of all that is. After two months into receiving Deeksha, I felt more and more layers being peeled back from my personality. I began to see my light shining through more clearly. I began to recognize the Brian I knew from childhood peeking out, again. It's as though, my true self was there all along, but then it was shrouded with darkness, fears, and worldly ambitions. I have begun to find life humorous, again. I can still operate in society, however, I am less attached to societies definition of who I am.

Deeksha affirms who you already are, and supports you. Crystals do the same thing. How many activities in life do that for you? The truth is, we are all one. Deeksha opens us up to recognizing this truth.

Once you begin receiving Deeksha, it's like getting on a roller-coaster ride. You feel great, then you feel awful, then you feel great, then you feel bad, then you feel great. When you feel great, it's your true self shining through. When you feel awful, it's your old personality melting away. It's a process, and works on a deep, deep level.

Reiki is an ancient healing art, deemed to be around 100,000 years old, and rediscovered around 200 years ago in Japan. An atunement is given to a person desiring a Reiki connection. After the atunement, a person gives Reiki treatments by connecting in with the energy and transferring it to a person or situation for healing. I have had some amazing experiences with Reiki, helping to heal people of back pain and shoulder pain, etc. Reiki works great on the emotional body.

____________

If it's important to me... it's important.

____________

It's your move...

STOP TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD WHICH LIES BEYOND ALL UNDERSTANDING

Give up trying to understand this world & open up to life. Simply witness life as it passes you by. Act when appropriate. Watch when appropriate. Force nothing to create negative karma. Allow all goodness and the grace of God to enter into your experience. Only invest in those things which are eternal.

Your job is not to understand this world and everything in it. Your job is to see where there is the greatest need, and to fill that need. The greatest need is love & compassion. Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven & all things will be added unto you.

____________

The secret to life is FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU DO WANT,

as opposed to focusing on what you don't want.

KEEP FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU DO WANT.

THAT'S IT.

Life's too short to worry about the rest.

____________

FREE YOURSELF

Don't wait for anyone to release you, cause no person ever could release you. They don't have that power. However, they can help you release yourself. They can point you in the right direction, however, you must release you. Being released is essentially offering your life over to the Universe to take care of. It's saying, "I realize that I'm not in charge anymore, and, in fact, never was in charge. Please take over from here. I release my will over to yours. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

SET YOURSELF FREE

Don't wait for another human being to set you free, because during these dark times, most people will condemn you. That's why it's your job to set those who would condemn you free. Joy is... knowing what's truly important and letting the rest be. Set yourself free. Nobody hears if you cry, so you may as well spend that time laughing. I mean, feel what you feel, and allow yourself to feel it. If you feel angry, feel angry. Allow what is to be. Don't be afraid of what you feel. Don't be afraid to feel what you feel.

BE SILENT & TEACH THE TRUTH

Be silent, and allow your silence to teach you the truth. The truth is, you do not know, nor have you ever known, nor will you ever know. The truth is, you don't have to know. The truth is, all you have to do is love, unconditionally. In the future, there will be no need for words.

____________

Dear Divinity, please give me patience

with all situations unresolved,

and all questions unanswered,

and all desires unfulfilled.

____________

WHAT'S NEXT? WHERE WILL THE QI TAKE ME?

I leave you with this one thought. Reading all the books in the known Universe will never substitute for action. Wisdom is doing. Better said, wisdom is doing, _wisely_. Of course, you can never know the outcome of an action, however, you can make an incredibly accurate educated guess. Close your eyes and imagine the possibly outcome of your next action. Will it take you closer to personal empowerment? Will it upgrade you, or will it downgrade you? Will it improve the world or make it worse? It really is that simple. I know you want to make life as hard on yourself as possible, and that's exactly the pattern we're breaking.

Many people think that enlightenment is seeing angels or light shows, or being able to see people's auras. True enlightenment is being aware that every choice you make has a result. I choose to not use the word consequence here, because that sounds punitive. Results are not punitive. They are simply results. Are those the results you were looking for? No? Okay, choose again. Better results? Worse results? Okay, choose again. Okay, choose again. Okay, choose again. That's all the Universe ever says to you. Okay, choose again.

So, as you close this book and choose your next steps, I urge you to remember these words.

May I choose wisely,

May I choose well.

Please choose for me,

Now and always.

HOW I KNOW I LIVE IN A HOLOGRAM, AND NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

How do I know that this world is not real, at all? First of all, because everything is always shifting in it and nothing is permanent. Everything is temporarily real. All temporary reality must pass. Secondly, because the smartest people I know still couldn't tell me how a napkin was made, none the less a computer. So, if the smartest people I know still don't understand this world or anything in it, and the dumbest people I know know the same, and the people of average intelligence are equally as clueless, then where does everything come from? The dumb people don't know. The average people don't know. The smart people don't know. So, obviously, this is all a big game board.

If I asked the smartest person I know to make me a pen, they wouldn't know where to start. If I asked the smartest person I know to make a CD, they wouldn't know where to start. If I asked the smartest person I know to make a cell phone, they wouldn't know where to start. So, where does all of this stuff come from? Companies with people who do know? Well, how did they find out how to do it? Trial and error? Well, where did they get the inspiration for trial to begin with? From beyond. I still don't understand how human beings created the objects we have today. I could ask the greatest acupuncturist in the world how to make an acupuncture book, and he/she wouldn't know how. I could ask Peter Jackson, who filmed Lord of the Rings, how film is made, and I bet he couldn't do it himself. I could ask him how DVD's are made, and he wouldn't know. Yet, he uses films, and DVD's, and new computer software that is cutting edge. Yet, even HE doesn't understand it. He uses it, but he doesn't understand it. So, who does?

I haven't met anybody who understands the objects or software they use and where it comes from. That's how I know I live in a hologram, and none of this is real. Because, I don't believe that human beings could create the objects that I see created, today. And, technology is advancing so rapidly, because it is coming from the Universal Mind. Most of the human beings I know are just scraping to survive, not creating supercomputers and MRI machines or imaging technology, or even text books with color ink. So, who does create these things, and how did they figure it out?

I bet you I could ask everybody in the world who is wearing a tie if they could make the tie they were wearing and they all would say, "No." Hmm. So, who makes the ties? You know, "they" do. Who are "they?" It seems like everything comes from "they," and I have yet to meet any of "them." And, if one day I do meet "them," I will still not understand how they created the technology they did to make their ties. I don't understand progress or this world, at all.

Honestly, I miss the days of Shamanism and Wizardry, where the people lived in tune with the Earth and took care of themselves naturally, without the need for all of this new technology that is coming from the Universal Mind. People in cars, everywhere... everywhere. Zooming by and rush, rush, rushing to get to their next PET scan. I miss the days when we all worked with spirit and healed one another naturally, with love and energy. We have forgotten that we all possess the power to heal ourselves and one another. We live in a world that is zooming straight to Hell, and, "You can see it on the faces of the people on the street/They're wearing fancy clothing, but their lives are not complete/They think, "If only one day I had that, life would be sweet, and I believe that I'd be free."/So, they get up on their fences/They see their neighbor's car/They mutter in disgust and soon they're neighbor's out to war/In a world of empty races we want more and more and more/And, we want more/And, we want more."

There is nothing inherently wrong with "more." The problem is, more of what? More speed? More insecurity? More living out of tune with nature? More objects that we don't need to distract us from spending time with one another? Abundance is the natural law of the Universe, that's why technology keeps speeding up and the Universal Mind keeps on producing. We must be diligent and decide what we want more of and what is just distracting us from true joy. Do we really need one more car on the road? Do we really need one more office full of grumpy, unhealthy people pushing papers around? Do we really need one more frown on one more face in a detached society? We are detached from one another, detached from spirit, detached from a healthy lifestyle, detached from ourselves. What we need is not more objects, but more unity.

Therefore, do not attempt to understand this world and all the objects in it. You'll just give yourself a headache, like I did. Simply accept everything the way it is, and decide what you want and don't want in your life. What you need and don't need. You may not be able to change the Universal Mind from creating more crap, but you can decide to not partake in what the Universal Mind is creating.

MY EXPERIENCE WITH CRYSTALS

Ever since I learned about energy that emanates from objects, I've been fascinated with crystals. Each one resonates at a different frequency and brings with it it's own special powers that can affect your reality. When you pick up a crystal and hold it in your hand (usually your left,) you can feel the energy vibrating, after a while. Why this is special is because this energy has the power to heal you, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and otherwise. Different stones have different properties, which have been well documented in several books, one of which being, "The Book of Stones," by Robert Simmons and Aisha ____, and another one being, "Love is in the Earth," by Melody. These two are essentially the bibles of metaphysical stone properties, and there are many other great publications available.

Honestly, I feel as though I have gone a little overboard with my stone purchases, however, I have been attempting to heal myself emotionally and physically, and I believe that every little bit helps. Truth is, you can work with one stone at a time and don't need hundreds. However, now that I have all of these crystals in my apartment, I actually feel as though the energy is a bit overwhelming. It's a tad difficult for me to stay with them for too long. It's like a force field that is pushing through my skin. I am not sure what the reason is for this. Maybe, I am not vibrating on as high a frequency as they are, or something. I know that when I take them all out of my apartment, it feels much more relaxing, and less like I am being altered or affected by energies. So, why do I get them? Because of their healing properties. I particularly like black tourmaline and jet for energetic protection. I also love healer's gold, which grounds out negative energy and brings more light into the body. Onyx helps me with my concentration and studying. Pyrite helps me to remain energized. Celestite calms my mind. Lapis Lazuli makes me feel like a king.

The most profound experiences I have had have been with the stones from outer space. I have a Tektite from Australia, and a piece of Moldavite, which looks like green glass. When you first hold a Moldavite, you can feel the heat from the stone enter your body. I tried wearing it on a necklace for a month and the energy actually was so strong that I couldn't handle it around my heart, although I tried. A few months later, I am able to wear it by my heart.

The first time I wore the Australian Tektite to class, I had a feeling of swirling in my chest halfway through class. I felt lightheaded, and then a numbness in the left hemisphere of my brain that descended down my face. It was one of the strangest feelings ever, not being in control and feeling faint. I took it and threw it off. I stood up and thought I was going to faint, so I went for a walk outside. I thought that the stone was going to kill me, seriously. After about 5 minutes, I began feeling better. I went back to class, but remained wary of the stone. I put it in my backpack. Later that day, when I was driving, I could feel the stone emanating through my backpack and the front seat of my car into my back. I felt as though it was somehow "activated." I was still nervous about handling it, because I had no idea what it would do to me if I let it too close, and I fainted. Who knows where my soul would have gone to, or if I could have even gotten back into my body.

The next day, the stone was normal, like a simple rock. Never since that day have I been able to "activate" the stone. I don't know if that is because I am now 'in tune' with the Tektite, or because whatever outside force was "activating" it, turned it off and has yet to turn it back on, again.

Per suggestion of Robert Simmons of the "Book of Stones," I began taping Moldavite to my forehead before going to sleep. I did this the same day I spoke to a Medium, who told me that one of my guides was behind me and she wanted to talk to me. Denise said that my guide looked like a mermaid, only, with two legs. That made perfect sense, given that I am a water sign.

That night, I had an awesome experience. It was more real than a dream, and less real than being awake. In the middle of the night, a light descended on my bed, and I heard a lady over me chanting in some foreign language, without breathing. I felt, and saw in my minds eye, her hand over me. She was doing energy work on me, and light was coming from her hands. Then, I noticed two women standing by my bedside. I kind of freaked out and imagined myself tearing the Moldavite from my forehead and throwing it off, and into the corner of the room. After that, I heard the lady above me chuckle, as if to say, "You asked for us, and now you don't want us?" When I opened my eyes, the two ladies by my bed flashed in and out, like two or three times, then disappeared. After a few minutes, I reached up to see if the Moldavite was still on my forehead. It was. I immediately wondered if what I had was a dream or an experience. It wasn't until about a week later that I began to define it as an experience. It was too real, and too unlike any dream I've ever had. Also, it took place right in my room.

I continued to tape the Moldavite to my forehead before going to sleep, requesting guidance. Two nights after my first encounter with other beings, I had my second encounter with different beings. I woke up in the morning and took the Moldavite off, thinking, "Oh, it didn't work." Next thing I knew, there was a light that descended on my bed, only this time, along with the light came a strong vibration. You know those tornado sirens? It was like the tornado siren, only without the sound, yet still retaining the vibration. Then, I felt four men by the base of my bed, and one by my side. The four around the bottom said at different times, "submit, submit.... submit." Then, the one sitting next to me said, "Let beeeee." (Either that, or "Let gooooo." I don't recall.) I could feel myself fighting the experience because I was afraid, yet, at the same time, I wanted to experience it, so I consciously attempted to relax my muscles and allow myself to be there. Then, I woke up, or altered my state, however, I was back. This was no dream. I've never had a dream like that, or one where there was a strange vibration like that. Also, this dream took place in my room and not in dream world, where my dreams usually are.

I thought about the meaning of the encounter, and I decided that they were telling me to relax and allow my life to happen. I am always trying to make my life happen and understand it, and I drive myself nuts. I believe that these beings were giving me the advice to allow my life to fall into place, and not fight it so much. Of course, I could be totally wrong.

Despite wearing the Moldavite, I haven't had any other encounters since then. The Tektite is supposed to put you into contact with extra terrestrials, and I believe that whoever it was that came to visit me the second time were attached to that stone. As far as the first experience is concerned, I don't know. I don't know who any of the three ladies were. I am hoping that they were all good. It seems like the one above my head was making the light descend on my with her hands. It was cool how she kept on chanting and never took a breath.

So, crystals are cool. I love them, and I feel like they ground me more, while at the same time allow me to experience other realms. They really connect me with the Earth. Also, they teach me to follow my intuition and my instincts and not to be misled. Whereas, other forms of spirituality involve other people and their energies, the stones teach you about spirituality without complicating the issue by adding other people and their issues. The stones are constantly teaching me things, and I love having them around. I think of them as living entities, because they continue to change and grow, even when they aren't in the ground. They each have their own energies and own personalities. They talk to you and teach you about self-love.

YOUR SEARCH IS OVER. GO FORTH AND LIVE IN HARMONY WITH UNIVERSAL LAW.

Seeking is only to find. However, once what you seek is found, to continue seeking is foolishness. All you seek is within you. No person on this planet can give you what your heart most desires. However, some people can put you in touch with what you most desire, and point you in a healing direction. Go where you will grow. Congregate with those who are there to help you. Allow the unfolding of your life to be effortless.

The point is, there is a lot more going on here on Earth than meets the eye. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Our energetic body needs as much attention as our physical body, if we desire to be truly healthy. It is a common consensus amongst the metaphysical community that we are constantly undergoing energetic shifts which our bodies are constantly adjusting to. We are being asked by the Universe to carry more light. We are raising our vibration. We are evolving. Disease and disharmony within the body comes from ignoring Universal laws. Mistreating yourself and others, through the foods you eat, the words you speak, the actions you take, all lead to more complications. It's all connected. You can pretend like you never read this book and you don't want to know anything about energy, which I would understand, seeing as it will change your entire lifestyle. However, if you continue to ignore Universal laws, then you will suffer the inevitable consequences. That doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but the world is evolving, and if we don't evolve with it, then we're outta here.

The most spiritual thing you can do is live in harmony with Universal law, and enjoy your time on this Earth.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you."

"You have nothing to learn, you have only to remember who you are."

"Those who speak, know not; and those who know, speak not.

Those who seek, know not; and those who know, seek not."

"When you get the message, hang up the phone."

"I once believed that if I stopped speaking, I would cease to exist;

Then, I stopped speaking, and I saw the world for the first time."

"When we quit apologizing for being alive, we will know joy. Most of the people we know apologize for being alive. They apologize for feeling. They apologize for wanting unity. They apologize for not living up to their potential to love unconditionally. When we begin loving ourselves, we will begin loving our lives."

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO SOLVE THE WORLD AND EVERYTHING IN IT. IT'S SIMPLY YOUR JOB TO BE A VESSEL FOR THE LIGHT.

INSPIRATION

  * All of our enemies are in our own mind. You say that we must defend ourselves, and I would agree with you, however, defending yourself is different from attacking another in the name of peace.

  * What we need today is integrity. Integrity leads to consistency. Consistency leaves no questions left to be asked. You simply know how you are going to approach every situation, ahead of time. You know that the next person you approach, you are going to treat them the same way as the last person you approached, because you realize that they are the same person. The only difference is their form. Consistency is the name of the game. Consistency relieves anxiety. Consistency guides you.

  * Whenever you want to change somebody, you can take that as a surefire sign that who you really want to change is yourself. You wouldn't want to change anybody if you still felt wonderful no matter how they treated you. When you become angry because somebody treats you unfairly, or takes the piss out of you. "Are you taking the piss?" When you become angry with somebody, it's a sign that there are still some unresolved issues in your own life. Either that, or you have not yet learned how to love unconditionally. If you loved unconditionally, nobody could shake your foundation. They could be rude to you from today until next week and you would simply listen to them, nod your head and say, "Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Oh. Oh, yeah? Okay. Uh, huh. So, what you're trying to say is that you don't like me. Uh, huh. Okay. Excellent. Well, I guess I'll see you later." See how that works? You have done so much work on yourself that you feel wonderful, and nothing anybody can say or do to you makes any kind of difference, because you are so full of positive energy. This isn't just some lofty ideal, this is the reality of what will happen to you as you begin mastering yourself. The more yoga, tai chi, reiki, deeksha, you do, the more you clear away all of your anger and hate, and become a clearer channel for the light to shine through you. You will understand what I mean, one day. Just today, I became angry with somebody because they were unnecessarily rude, for no reason. At first, I became defensive, hostile and passive agressive. Then, I realized that I didn't like the way that felt, at all. So, instead of sending her hate, I closed my eyes, prayed for her, and attempted to send her love. It wasn't easy, but at least I was trying. I realized that sending hate for hate would not get me, her, or this planet anywhere. This is how conscious we need to become. We need to realize when we are sending someone hate, and turn it around to offer them acceptance. It's like that saying, the hardest people to love are the ones who need it the most. There is another saying that is appropriate here. The next time you come into a situation that makes you feel angry or hateful, or any other way that you don't like feeling, I want you to say to yourself, "This is exactly what I was looking for." By resisting what is happening, you are only going to create more resistance and pain. So, allow it to be, and say, "This is exactly what I was looking for," and you will be able to handle any situation "on equal footing," as Carolyn Myss would say.

  *   * FOR MY BOOK...

Take time to simply exist, without thinking of what to do next, or where to go, or what to eat, or what to think. Watch the insects on the ground. You don't need to spend hours in meditation. Simply go outdoors to a place of high vibration, and relax your mind. Let go off all thoughts of "next," and simply be where you are. Keep breathing and absorb the positive Qi. The slower you go, the more you appreciate. Recognize how you always wondering what's next is always keeping you from what is here now. At this point in human evolution, we as a society don't value the 'now.' We only value the 'next.' Give yourself permission to just BE. Even if it's only for a few minutes. You may be able to get into 'the zone,' where you are just existing without thoughts of the 'next' for a few minutes or longer. That's a sweet place to be. What's here now? What's here now? What's here now?

  * FOR MY BOOK...

Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling. Whatever it is. Don't repress it. Don't deny it. Don't judge it. Simply witness it. What's the use in judging yourself for feeling a certain way? What purpose does that serve?

When I become enraged, I punch my fist onto the dirt and imagine the anger penetrating to the core of the Earth, where it is transmuted into pure, white light, which then reflects back up to me. That is an extremely effective method of dispelling anger. Whatever you do, don't swallow it in and pretend like everything is cool. Release it to the Earth to be transmuted.

It occured to me that I've been fighting with my depression, when maybe I should just embrace it. All I want to do is sleep? Okay, sleep. Don't deny yourself what you feel you need. Maybe, that's exactly what you need. To sleep a lot. Don't fight it. Allow yourself to feel it, without judgment. I suppose we have been programmed by society that we're not supposed to feel depressed, and so we fight it. We are supposed to "act as if" we feel great. Or, take pills that do God knows what to our bodies. Forget all that. Simply feel it. Allow yourself to feel it without judgment, and before you know it, since it is no longer something you are fighting with, it poses less of a threat.

_________

PERSPECTIVE

You need to put yourself and your problems into perspective. The next time you are feeling like everything you do is SO important, look around you and notice that you're not the only one with problems. People are dying. People are suffering. People are lost and confused. People everywhere have problems. You're not the only one. If you begin to feel like you're the only one with problems, you have to come back to reality. The reality of life is that it's NOT fair. You are NOT the only person who has been dealt some raw cards. It's your job to recognize that you are not alone. There's a lot more going on here than you and your ego. Yes, you are a vital piece of the puzzle, and the evolution of this world depends upon you, but the whole world is NOT out to get you, or revolve around you. The world just is what it is. It's your job to focus on what you are creating in your life, and create as wisely as possible. Your problems are small potatoes in the grand scheme of existence. Get outside of your head. Get away from yourself. Look around you. Open your eyes. There are 6 billion people in the world. Get a grip. Get over yourself.

You're only as old as you think you are. Age doesn't equal wisdom. Control doesn't equal love.

________

We are here to enjoy what is here. So, enjoy this Earth, as it is as sacred as any other plane that exists.

______________

WE ARE BEING POISONED AND PROGRAMMED FOR UNHAPPINESS

I had a dream when I was on the coast of California. In my dream, I saw a billboard. It read, "The European says, 'Mmmm. This meal is delightful. How wonderful.' The American says, "God damn it, motherfucker, fuck shit...'" I've lived in both places. I'm not making this up. Europeans know how to enjoy living more than we do. In my dream it was revealed to me that Americans are being programmed for unhappiness. How can we be happy if we are never satisfied and think of life as a 'win/lose' proposition? We're being caffeinated, medicated, mentally inebriated with hate. Of course we're unhappy. We're being poisoned.

My friend George told me that a study was conducted and the Danish people proved to be the happiest. But... why? They don't have Jack in the Box fast food restaurants. Why would they be happy? It was revealed that they approach every activity with a jovial, playfulness, enjoying one another's company, and taking their time. To them, it's not about winning, but enjoying the experience. They "get it." We don't get it. To us, it's all about winning and conquering. However, what we failed to take into account was that when we win, that means that we end up being alone on the top. And, it's more fun to be in good company than alone on top.

What makes a good life? To me, it seems that that a good life is one that you enjoy waking up to in the morning. If we were living in harmony with nature, and one another, that's exactly how we would feel. We would move throughout our day in a natural rhythm, we would sit and watch things grow, we would enjoy each others company, etc. It's easy to be happy. All you have to do is live in harmony with nature, with your body, and with everything. Life is not a race. Life can not be enjoyed if you are constantly racing. Do you know how wonderful it is to be in one place all day and watch the light change? We always feel like we ought to be "doing" something, or buying something, but the truth is, we're missing the point of living. The reason most people are so miserable is because, well, look at the way we live! If you can call it living. We wake up early to go do something we don't necessarily want to do, just so we can get home and complain about what we had to do. Then, we do it again the next day. I've always said that we need to reach a point as a society where when we sit down to eat or get together to socialize, it's not to complain or numb our senses, but rather to give thanks and celebrate our senses.

It's the system. Human life has become so devalued, that we don't even see one another anymore. We're being bred and our spirits are being crushed, because we don't connect and enjoy the way humans are designed to. We have forgotten the beautiful things in life because we are so focused on what's unimportant, and rushing to get through this. And, because we are so sick as a society, a sick healthcare system has been implemented for a sick society. And, soon, everybody forgot what true health even looked or felt like. And, since there's more money in keeping you sick, that's just what our healthcare system is designed to do.

I can't stand being rushed to do anything. Do you know why? Because, it's unnatural! Quick, do this, quick, do that, quick, think this, quick, think that. AAAAAGH! Most of our society is in a rush to get somewhere they will never arrive. Run, run, run, run, live... what? No, not live. Run, run, run...

The reason we live this way is because we are being poisoned and programmed for unhappiness. It's easy to be happy! It's natural. But, when you're living in a society that celebrates negativity, you forget that happiness is your natural state. You lose touch with the Earth and no longer watch things grow. You think that this is your only life and when you die it's all over. So, you rush, rush, rush. You've got to capture life before you miss it! But, you know what? By chasing time, you are actually missing the joy of living.

Do you know how great your body would feel if you stopped drinking high fructose corn syrup and sugar, and started eating fruit? Or, eating leafy greens on a regular basis? If you stopped filling your mind will all the negative messages around you, and started celebrating your existance? If you began listening to your inner truth and started living an inner-directed life? There are forces at work to keep you poisoned and miserable. It's your job to wake up and break free. Who controls what you think? Sleeping people are easier to control and make money off of. Blah. Blah, blah, blah. Who do you listen to? Yourself? Maybe, it's time.

The more conscious I become, the more unconscious I realize I am. Conscious, caring lovers are the light of this world. Be the light without apology. Instead of matching another person's frown, lead with your smile. Make decisions that feel right to you. Don't do what everybody says you should do, or wants for you to do. Do what you feel is right, for you. Reclaim Your Soul.
