YOU HAVE MADE IT NOW.
YOU'RE AT THE TOP OF YOUR GAME,
AT THE TOP OF YOUR PROFESSION.
BOTH YOU, BUT BOTH YOU AN I ARE
SORT OF.
>> WE'RE DOING GOOD.
>> Stephen: WE'RE DOING GOOD.
WE'RE TOP NOTCH ACTORS, YOU KNOW
N A WAY.
I'M AN ACKER IN MY OWN WAY.
YOU'RE AN ACTOR.
>> YEAH.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT A BUNCH
OF OS CARS FOR YOUR WORK.
>> THANK YOU
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: AND I'VE GOT A
BUNCH OF EMMYS FOR MY WORK.
>> BRAFO.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: THEY'RE BASICALLY,
BASICALLY THE SAME THING.
>> NO, THEY ARE NOT, SIR.
THEY ARE NOT.
>> Stephen: THEY ARE THE
SAME.
>> THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THE TWO, MY FRIEND,
YEAH, YEAH, HUGE DIFFERENCE.
>> Stephen: THE POINT IS YOU
HAVE TWO OS CARS, SO BETWEEN THE
TWO OF US THAT AVERAGES OUT TO
ONE OSCAR A PIECE.
AND IT IS RARE THAT TWO ACTORS
OF OUR CALIBER, YOU KNOW, ARE
TOGETHER LIKE THIS.
I THINK WE SHOULD TAKE A ZEN
RIGHT NOW JUST FOR THE ASPIRING
ACTORS OUT THERE WATCHING THIS,
WE COULD OFFER ACTING TIPS TO
HELP THEM GET UP TO OUR LEVEL.
>> GREAT IDEA.
LET'S HELP THE KIDS.
>> Stephen: GREAT.
>> JUST TO BE CLEAR, WE'RE ON
THE SAME LEVEL?
>> Stephen: YOU SAID IT, TOM.
(APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: GREAT.
>> IT WAS A QUESTION.
>> Stephen: SO ALL YOU AMATEUR
ACTORS, LISTEN UP, BECAUSE IT'S
TIME FOR ON YOUR MARK, GET SET,
ACT, WITH TOM HANKS AND STEPHEN
KOL BELTER-- COLBERT.
FIRST TIP.
CRYING SCENES ARE TOUGH,
PERSONALLY ONIONS MAKE ME CRY,
SO WHEN I HAVE TO CRY, I THINK
OF A DEAD ONION.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: IF YOU'RE HAVING
TROUBLE INHABITING A CHARACTER,
JUST ASK IMPORTANT CHARACTER
QUESTIONS LIKE WHAT'S MY
CHARACTER'S NAME.
WHAT IS THE MOVIE ABOUT.
AND IS MY CHARACTER IN IT?
(LAUGHTER)
>> TO KEEP YOUR EYES FROM
SHIFTING AROUND, FOCUS ON JUST
ONE OBJECT.
UNLESS YOUR CHARACTER NEEDS TO
LOOK SHIFTY.
IN WHICH CASE MAKE SURE THAT ONE
OBJECT, A FLY.
>> Stephen: NEVER WORK WITH
CHILDREN OR ANIMALS.
ONE EXCEPTION, BABY WEREWOLVES.
BOX OFFICE GOLD.
(LAUGHTER)
>> NEVER READ BAD REVIEWS.
INSTEAD, KIDNAP THE CRITIC AT
GUNPOINT.
(LAUGHTER)
I FIND THEY'RE MUCH LESS LIKELY
TO TELL YOU YOU SUCK AT
GUNPOINT.
(APPLAUSE).
>> Stephen: ALL THE BEST
ACTORS KNOW THAT EMOTIONS LIVE
IN THE ARMS.
IF YOU ARE SCARED, FLAIL YOUR
ARMS AROUND IN TERROR.
IF YOU ARE SAD, FLAIL YOUR ARMS
AROUND SADLY.
(LAUGHTER)
>> IF YOU ARE DOING A LOVE
SCENE, MAKE SURE THE DIRECTER
AND THE CAMERAS ARE THERE.
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
OTHERWISE YOU'RE JUST HAVING
SEX.
(LAUGHTER).
>> Stephen: THAT'S A ROOKIE
MISTAKE.
>> AMATEURS, YEAH.
>> THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF
ACTING IS LISTENING.
SO ALWAYS ACT LIKE YOU'RE
LISTENING.
TILT YOUR HEAD AND SAY THINGS
LIKE HMMMM, YES, I UNDERSTAND
BECAUSE I'M LISTENING TO YOU.
>> SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO
REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORDS.
AND HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.
YOU GET A DOG AND YOU NAME THE
DOG LINE.
THEN YOU SHAVE THE WORDS YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO SAY IN TO THE SIDE
OF THE DOG THAT THE CAMERA
CANNOT SEE.
THEN IF YOU FORGET WHAT ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO SAY, CALL LINE.
HE RUNS UP TO YOU, AND YOU CAN
READ IT RIGHT OFF THE SIDE OF
YOUR DOG.
I LEARNED THAT ONE FROM MARLON
BRANDO.
HE TOLL ME.
>> Stephen: WELL, TOM, THANKS
SO MUCH.
THAT WAS REALLY--
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> YEAH?
>> Stephen: LINE?
(LAUGHTER)
GREAT ADVICE.
>> WELL, THANK YOU-- THANK
YOU-- LINE.
STEPHEN, IT'S BEEN GREAT.
A.
>> Stephen: A HOLOGRAM FOR THE
KING IS IN THEATERS TOMORROW.
TOM HANKS, EVERYBODY, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK
