*Whapoosh!* Top of the mornin' to ya, laddies! I'm Dr. Jack, and welcome back to my ER.
Last time we absolutely messed up someone's eyeballs, and we went inside someone's ass.
And we had a really great time. We threw a party in there, everybody came.The polyps were there, remember them?
Yeah, it was a really great time. So this time
we're going to bash in someone's face and break their nose and do all this kind of stuff.
So this is the rhinoplasty surgery, which is I think it's basically just a nose job surgery
but I guess we'll find out.
Um.
I think we did one like this in the other surgery game a while ago.
I remember there being a nose surgery, and me not liking it because I had to like cut off and jump into-- [In-Game Voiceover: Welcome to Surgery Squad]
Suzi! My Baby! [In-Game VO: I'm Dr. Suzi.] You sure are!
[VO: Today we will be performing rhinoplasty]
Okay! [VO: This is commonly referred to as a nosejob.]
It's also where you insert a tiny baby rhinoceros inside someone's face.
[VO: In this cosmetic surgery our patient is a young lady--]
*whispering* Hey Lil mama lemme whisper in your ear
[VO: --looking to change the shape of her nose.] Okay!
[VO: We'll perform a closed rhinoplasty procedure to reshape her nose into something she finds more appealing.] What's an open rhinoplasty?
[VO: Some surgeons will perform this surgery using a local anesthetic and sedation, which makes the patient numb and in a dreamlike state.]
It's it's okay, this patient doesn't need it, doesn't need any anesthesia because she's already numb from the inside.
You know that's why, that's that's what happens when you lose your job.
[VO: *unintelligible* --and completely asleep.]
Okay. [VO: What we're doing today is reshaping the bridge of the nose. Our patient feels
it's too wide and doesn't like the hump on it. The thinning of the nose is called an infracture.]
[VO: I'll bet you can't guess what the widening of the nose is called.]
Uh, uh, a wide fracture. [VO: All right, I'll tell you. It's an outfracture!]
Ahhh, so close! [VO: Some patients may also want
the tip of the nose reshaped. That's called--]  Wait wait, don't tell me, that's called a tip fracture.
I know these things. I'm a doctor. [VO: Tipoplasty.]
Ahh Damn it! [VO: But, as I was saying,
this patient only wants an infracture, and some reshaping. Easily done.] Okay, infracture, outfracture, tip-plasty.
[VO: To begin this procedure, We need to open the nostrils as wide as possible.]
[VO: We do this with a retractor. Can you place the retractor in the patient's right nostril?]
Um, okay, I thought I used a retractor to measure angles. Oh, protractor. Okay. Got it. I know, I'm a doctor!  Okay.
*laughing* Oh Jesus. Hello!
You don't mind if I-- if I grab on your nozzle here, do ya?
Well you're asleep, who cares? [VO: Now with the nostril opened wide,
we'll make an incision inside it in a crescent moon shape.
That will allow us to access the bones and cartilage that make up the nose structure.]
Ooh, kay, OW!
[VO: I've made the incision. Can you use the forceps to remove that portion of the nostril?]
I don't know! Can I...?
[VO: Surgeons must be hyper vigilant when doing this portion of the procedure.] Okay!
[VO: As it can damage breathing and sense of smell.] Oh, shit!
I didn't even do anything yet.
Okay, I have to be, all these years of playing Operation at home, taking the telephone bone out of the elbow.
Very important. I know how to do this now, watch
[VO: To reshape the nose we're going to chip off the dorsal hump with a chisel tool called the osteotome.]
[VO: We place the osteotome at the base of the hump, and then carefully tap on it with a small rubber mallet.]
Okay! [VO: This has to be done very gently and takes a careful touch.]
*jackhammer sound*
Okay, you got it positioned? Okay I'ma just tippy-tap all up inside your nose, okay?
Okay. Karen!
Okay, she's asleep. I was just making sure, I wasn't actually trying to get her attention.
It's just if I yelled and then she said, "huh?" then I know she's not asleep, but okay here we go.
You said gently!
Okay, maybe you should not leave this part there to the amateur. Okay? Well, what am I talking about? I'm a professional! Here we go.
Oh fuck! Get rid of that hump! Get out of there hump! [VO: Now that the hump is loosened, we need to pull the bone and cartilage
out of the nose.] Okay, okay... My feet feel weird.
[VO: Use the tweezer-like forceps to slip it out of the incision.]
*uncomfortable squealing*
[VO: Now that the bump is out of there, we need to smooth the edges on both sides with a rasp.]
[VO: The space left by the bone we've removed is referred to as an open roof.]
Ahh!
Just like our shed back home! Seems like our shed got a rhinoplasty. [VO: To close the open roof
carefully tap the osteotome along the path that I've marked. This breaks the nasal bones so we can reposition them.]
[VO: Tap the osteotome once each time I reposition it on the left and right nostrils.] Okay!
This is the thing that weirds me out about nose jobs is that, like, the other surgeries
It's all like very careful incisions, very careful like peeling, putting stuff in,
Injecting all this. This is literally just a fucking hammer and a chisel.
It's-- I might as well be making Michelangelo's David all up inside your face.
I'm literally breaking her nose, so it repositions itself back into a proper place.
I feel like-- I feel like this is the one where like,
barbaric science back in like the old days didn't really evolve. Some other stuff like eye
surgery, heart surgery, all that stuff did. This one they're like
"This technically works.
Maybe we should just keep doing this." And like, the Neanderthal is over there with his mallet and his rock, and he's just like *grunts*
You know?
[VO: Now that the bones are broken, I just take my fingers and reposition them to close the open roof.]
[VO: Because we made such perfect breaks, the bones slip right into place
and the nose is perfect.] What happens if you don't make the perfect breaks? Also,
it's a very nice touch putting in the bruising. That is what would happen.
The eyelids are, were bruised before. That's from all the heroin that Karen did.
[VO: A few stitches to close up the incisions,
and then we place nasal airway splints in each nostril to hold things in place.]
Oh, oh yeah, I've seen I've seen videos of that.
I've seen videos of people with like broken noses after the surgery getting the stuff pulled out.
Oh, it's making me feel really weird right now.
But they pull out like the gauze or the splints that are in there, and they just yank. And that must be super painful
but also very liberating.
It's like it's like that time when my sock felt weird
and I took it off and my ankle felt all nice and itchy. You know? Exact same thing!
[VO: Steri-strips go across the nose, and
an external nasal splint is added to hold everything tight.] And now you're ready for swimming.
[VO: Our patient will have some bruising and minor pain for a few days.]
[VO: We'll remove the splints in about a week. Most of the swelling will be gone by then.]
It looks like you just got in a bar fight, and you have a big ol bruised face.
[VO: But there can be a bit left for a few months. And there we have it.]
[VO: Thanks for coming by! Catch more of my great surgeries here at surgerysquad.com!]
Look at this! The Surgery Squad was so cool-looking. They had sunglasses. Where's my sunglasses? Where's Dr. Suzi's sunglasses?
Do not trust a doctor without sunglasses, anymore.
Now that I've seen a doctor with sunglasses there can only be doctors with sunglasses.
Okay now that I'm horrified about what my nose is capable of let's go off and do something else. Ah, this might be an interesting
one to do. I've never, I've seen some stuff about laser tattoo removals,
but I've never actually seen the ins and outs of what happens and what they actually do.
Luckily these these people only tattooed onto a peanut so that wouldn't, that wouldn't be too hard to
get that off that. But let's figure out how we get some off humans.
You know, just in case I think that my badass awesome tattoo is gonna look bad in a few years.
Which is exactly what everyone tells you when you get a tattoo.
It's like, "Are you sure you want to have that tattoo? Are you sure in like 30 years?
You know when you're old that tattoo's gonna look weird." I'm like bitch when I'm old
I'd just be happy that I'm still alive and I can walk.
And I'll just be happy that my penis still works to go to the bathroom. You know,
I don't think I'm gonna worry about what ink is on my flappy skin.  [VO: --to Surgery Squad's laser tattoo-removal.]
[VO: I'm Dr. Suzi and I'll be assisting you with this procedure today.] Where's your glasses?
[VO: According to a recent poll, over 50% of those with tattoos want at least one removed.]
But that was surely not this one, because that is awesome! That's like a little skeleton Elvis.
Skel-Elvis! [VO: They cited being too young when they got it, a new career, or
significant life changes, such as divorce or childbirth, as reasons why they no longer want them.]
Yeah, I'd never get someone's name. [VO: Luckily there's laser tattoo removal.]
[VO: Laser tattoo removal
is a procedure that uses a powerful laser that reacts with the ink of a tattoo to break it down into tiny particles.]
Whoa! [VO: The laser directly targets the tattoo pigment, and leaves the surrounding skin virtually untouched.]
That's cool! [VO: After the ink is broken down, it is removed by the body's immune system,
creating a natural-looking fade that typically only time or sun exposure would produce.] Wow,
you know I love me dat fade. You know people say tattoos fade anyway
but having that laser removed, you get that sick fade. You know that real fade.
That's cool, though. I wonder is it painful?
[VO: Although laser tattoo removal is considered highly effective after multiple treatments, those
interested need to keep in mind that yellow, green, and
fluorescent tattoo inks are much more difficult to fade.] Yeah.
[VO: Our patient today is a male in his mid-20s that got a tattoo on his calf when he was a teenager.]
*laughing* He is totally not a 3D model character in the middle of all these other real people.
Also, wouldn't it be so awesome if the glasses were actually the tattoo? He got a tattoo of sunglasses on his face!
Now he wants it removed because it made him look like a fucking idiot. [VO: Now that he's older,
he doesn't see the tattoo as being so attractive anymore. In fact,
he's come to us to get it removed, so let's scrub in and see what we can do for him.] Okay,
Dr. Suzi, I'm goin' in.
[VO: Before we begin, we need to go back in time to the day he picked out his tattoo. Help him pick out a real winner! Use the
arrows to scroll through the tattoos.] I actually get to pick the tattoo?
I mean, it's really good to roll dem bones.
Ah, that's a good one. I love that. I love the caption of that, "type text here".
Oh, no way, oh!
Ah, it doesn't fit, okay. Or arse biscuits.
*laughing*
Yeah, that's a bad tattoo! I don't know why you ever got that one. Oh no, oh no!
Ugly baby!
That one's actually kind of cool, I kind of like that one. I'm not gonna give you that one. Spring Break '99.
Never get tattoos that date themselves because that's that's pretty bad.
I mean unless they have like a very special significance to you, or it's like the day
a loved one passed on or something like that. I'm not here to tell you what to do with your lives.
You can get whatever tattoo as you want. But anything with like names or dates or anything like, like this kind of one?
Usually people regret them after. Oh no, I would regret that one instantly, that's...
Did someone draw this after taking their Crayola course? I'll roll dem bones really good.
Although, as much as I loved arse biscuits, I'm gonna have to go with roll dem bones.
There we go we're putting the tattoo on him so we can have a demonstration of how to take the tattoo off him. We're scientists!
We're doctors. We know what to do.
[VO: Seriously? Let's make that tattoo disappear!]
[VO: During our patient's initial consultation--] You see, what people don't know about doctors
is that not only are they people who can heal, they have healing helping hands, they're also magicians. So let's make that tattoo
Disappear! Also if I put down "arse biscuits", would you have written, or--
would you have read that out? [VO: --it is recommended that he take an non-aspirin pain
medication prior to the procedure, to reduce any discomfort he may experience.]
Okay. [VO: Other than that, there really isn't any other preparation needed, so let's get started!]
I'm assuming it does hurt, then. I mean you are blasting a laser into your skin,
but, what do I know I've never had that happen. I've never had one of those.
I know getting the tattoo itself can hurt. My one didn't hurt that bad. A little bit, but not that, nothing unbearable.
[VO: A lot of patients describe the pain from the laser as feeling like a hundred rubber bands striking the skin at the same time.]
[VO: So to begin the procedure,
we'll need to place a cold compress on the tattoo for a few seconds.] Wow. [VO: This will help reduce the pain caused by the laser.]
[VO: Go ahead and place the cold compress on the tattoo.] The instant chill pack!
If I ever make a band again,
I'm calling it The Instant Chill Pack. You know what I'm just gonna call... you guys could be The Instant Chill Pack!
That's it for years, five years in the making
we've been wondering what to call jacksepticeye subscribers. People are like, call it Septic Army.
Maybe we call it the Septic Eyes or we call it The Laddies or something like that, and I've refuted all of them.
But this time, you guys are now the Chill Pack. The
Instant Chill Pack. And you know what, it works both ways, because you guys ain't got no chill.
It's pretty good. Also, I like how it's made by Dr. Jeff.
*laughing* Non-toxic.
Reusable, I always want that in a chill pack. That's the thing, you guys are a non-toxic community. It's perfect. [VO: That will do.]
[VO: Now we need to use the laser to fade the tattoo.] Okay. [VO: Different types of lasers react with certain colors of tattoo ink.] Okay, Jerry!
[VO: One laser might work perfectly for reds and oranges,] Jerry!
[but not so great on greens or black.] Hold on! [VO: So I use a variety of lasers to get the desired result.]
[VO: To help relieve some of the pain associated with the procedure.
we'll also use a machine that blows  icy cold air on the area being treated.] Wow!
[VO: Let's start by targeting any red or orange ink areas.]
Okay, red or orange ink areas, okay, boom. Whoa!
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, how does that feel Jerry?
Like one hundred elastic bands at once, that must feel like a thousand elastic bands at once. Oh my god, I'm melting his leg!
Is that it? Are we are we good? Did I do it?
I think I did it.
[VO: Next up is green, blue, or other darker colors.] Okay. This is fun!  I'm having a good time, what about you Jerry?
[VO: Finally we'll remove the black.]
Okay um, wow. All gone, bye bye!
All of that gone, get rid of all that ink. Ink is stink, we don't want it in our bodies anymore. Body is a temple, especially our calves.
[VO: Now that we've completed the first treatment, we'll need to place the cold compress on the treatment area to relieve some of the pain.]
Oh, you know what time it is? It's time for the instant chill pack, bring it in everybody!
Let's see, let's give him some chill some non-toxic chill.
Everybody needs to just chill out.
[VO: You did great! Our patient is ready to go.]
[VO: Immediately after each treatment, the tattoo may feel sunburned,
and it is extremely important to keep it covered until it heals.] Hmm. [VO: If our patient fails to do this--] They will die.
If, if--
you don't, if you don't cover your tattoo after laser removal, you will get infected
and you will die. Like if you have sex, you will get babies and you will die.
That's that's what happens. [VO: --and the results of the treatments may be negative.] That was a Mean Girls reference by the way. [VO: Roll the bandage
over the treated area.]
Okay. There you go. Oh Jesus.
[VO: As stated earlier, our patient's tattoo will only begin to fade after multiple treatments.]
Ohhh. [VO: You shouldn't expect the tattoo to go away during one session.]
[VO: While the tattoo may not be completely removed it should be lighter and much less visible than before.]
[VO: And that's laser tattoo removal. Well done!]
That's...LOOK their back!
[VO: Why not try your surgical skills in another surgery here on surgerysquad.com]
No, I wanna take, I wanna get some sunglasses and be a cool doctor and be part of the sui--Surgery Squad. I was gonna say Suicide Squad
Because, the movie and the comics.
Man that one wasn't so bad. The nose one was pretty bad, but that one was okay. That one was alright.
I learned, I learned a little thing. It was pretty much exactly what I thought it was, the laser removal.
And the nose one I had already seen in the other surgery so all in all a great day.
I don't feel like I have to scrape the innards of my eyeballs anymore, and
try and figure out how I'm gonna live life anymore. 'Cause this, these were, these were okay.
Well thank you all so much for being here in my ER again today.
We learned a lot again. The main thing we learned today was that cool doctors in the surgery squad wear sunglasses.
I don't have them. Cooler people get tattoos of sunglasses across their face. And also
cooler people are in The Instant Chill Pack. What up, my pack?
Thank you guys so much for watching this video. If you liked it, punch that like button in the face,
LIKE A BOSS
And
High fives all around *wapoosh*
Thanks you guys and I will see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEO
