Hi Senator Sanders
Hello
Nice to meet you, Bruce
Ok, very good
Will you hold this?
Yeah, sure
If you don’t mind, would you mind maybe
just going over there and just
help me out.
Ok, you can let it go, that’s all I needed
to know.
Ok, so it’s
not too big to fail.
This is the right size, where, you know, it
could fail.
Ok
I trust you in that sense.
What can I help you with today?
Well I’m getting old and I figure I’m
running for President, so if that doesn’t
work out, I might need to look into retiring
maybe in the next 20 or 30 years.
Ok, you have financial assets that you have
to manage?
We’re gonna have to do this based on whatever
small money I have left over from the campaign.
I believe, that’s what I am working with.
Fifty dollars.
It’s not much, but ya know for most working
class Americans, that’s a lot of money.
Ok, would you say a reasonable estimate of
your living expenses would be $3000 or $4000
a month?
What am I Princess Diana?
That’s a lot of money, I’m talking about
a three or four hundred bucks a year.
Three or four hundred bucks a year?
I am very modest
$25 dollars a month?
I am the only member of the United States
Senate who has been evicted from an apartment
while in office.
So, um, you could invest in stocks, dividend
paying stocks
Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there
OK
We’re talking about large corporations?
They could be large corporations, small corporations
or medium corporations
Let’s stick with small corporations.
Think of instead of Fortune Magazine let’s
think of Pretty Good Fortune Gazette
Maybe alternative energy?
How alternative energy are we talking?
Well they have companies that you know if
you want to invest in wind farms
Are they organic wind farms?
I think we could probably meet that criteria
for you,
If we could do that then I might be interested.
What other kind of sectors are we talking
about?
So another category might be real estate
That’s not a bad idea.
Is there a way you could invest in hotels
and just be like this is mine now?
This is yours?
Yeah, invest in hotels and be like hey guys,
I own 1/10 th of 1% of one of these rooms,
let me crash here for a while.
Well you could own 1/10 th of 1%, I don’t
know if they’d let you crash there for a
while.
Alright, I gotta look at that on an individual
basis.
Give me two more quick hits.
There is probably enterprise lending, where
you could lend to 3 rd world countries uh,
to help their economies get going.
That’s good, I am a little bit late to help
out the Sandinistas, but if there is ya know
any radical leftists movements across the
world I might be interested in ya, sure.
I think
Helping them out, giving them some bucks.
If you want to be education based, maybe people
who support education.
Alright, so invest in school book companies,
one of them.
It could be Sallie Mae, who who’s a company
that makes student loans so kids can go to
college.
Don’t f*** with me Bruce.
I’ve spoken on the Senate Floor for 40 hours
criticizing the policies of Sallie Mae and
I think that student loans need to be drastically
overhauled so I don’t want to invest in
something that I am going to be overhauling
as President.
Yeah, well I was just trying to give you an
idea of companies that are education industry.
Is there anyway I could invest in small socialist’s
magazines that print of purple paper like
a mimeograph?
I don’t think so
Ok, well I don’t know if were gonna get
anywhere today.
Thanks a lot for your time Bruce
Ok, thank you Bernie.
I’ll take my fifty bucks and go somewhere
else.
Great, no problem.
Do you validate?
Yes, I can have Linda out there do that for
you.
Linda?
yeah, Linda.
Ok, I’ll talk to Linda
Ok, thank you.
